Ep 43: Anthony Head

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

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Does anyone here at the table have any allergies?

Oh, yes, I'm allergic to bad podcasts.

Don't worry, that won't be a problem.

Welcome to the off-menu podcast.

The best yet.

Best intro yet.

Do you think so?

Yes, it was a proper play.

18 characters.

I learned stuff about each one of them.

What did you learn about them?

One of them has an allergy.

You can't listen to bad podcasts.

Yes.

And the other one is very good at being organised and making sure everyone's got what they need.

He was the waiter, so I obviously didn't spend long enough writing that character.

I don't know much about waiters, but.

So this is the off-menu podcast with me, Ed Gamble, and the other voice you're hearing now is James A.

Custer.

Guiltiest charge.

I just want to get that exactly right because James has just told me that on a previous previous episode he made reference to the Wasabi prawns at Tao Tao Ju changing their source and it not being as good again.

Stand by it.

And then he went back to Tao Tao Ju and a man who worked there, a waiter,

came and held up his phone and it had our podcast on it with the episode referencing that

and then claimed that I'd said that the source was bad and James just went along with it.

Yeah, he said Gamble said the source is bad.

I was like, oh yeah, so it sounds like something he would say.

So I just want to make it very clear that I have not made claims about the Tao Tao Ju source and this is me, Ed Gamble.

Remember the voice.

You kept on calling you Gamble though, it was so great.

You're saying, Gamble doesn't like our sauce.

James, the dream restaurant has reopened.

We are back for series three.

The treble.

The treble, the big number three, the tricky third series.

The third course.

We will be again welcoming guests here into the dream restaurant and what a first guest we have, James.

We will be asking this first guest his

favourite ever.

Start a main course dessert, side dish and drink.

And our special guest today is anthony head

anthony head a national treasure a wonderful actor a british institution

of course many of you if you're my age will know him as giles from buffy yeah that is so weird that that was his character name that all the way through they would say is giles from buffy yeah they

it was very odd where's giles from buffy even buffy would say that yeah she said where's giles from buffy but she wasn't buffy from buffy yeah they're like what are you talking about so he was giles from buffy but he of course has a varied and wonderful CV, and we'll be today talking to him about his dream menu, of course, but he is here because he is promoting The Stranger, which is a new Netflix show.

But no, not Stranger Things, The Stranger, based on a novel by Harlan Coburn.

I've seen the first episode.

It's very gripping.

It's very exciting.

It's out on January 30th on Netflix.

Go and watch it.

Trapped in the upside down.

Nope, that's not what it is, James.

But it's on Netflix.

So if you do end up on Netflix,

just type in Stranger, but not stranger things we don't want that confusion to happen but of course if Anthony head says the secret ingredient that we have pre-established he will be removed from the restaurant it is an ingredient that we do not like and the ingredient this week is pumpkin seeds

roast pumpkin seeds bit of controversy around this originally I was not for it I was like I like pumpkin seeds what you're doing that for but then you did say to me sometimes they have the stringy bits attached well I thought that is gross here's what I think about pumpkin seeds sometimes they do have the stringy bits attached also i have on multiple occasions tried pumpkin seeds as a snack when they do them in like america but very fond of them in like service stations yes roasted salted pumpkin seeds and they're just chewy and they're in a weird case and you need to spit all bits out that you can't eat and they're faff absolute faff yeah there's a lot of seeds i'd have before it yeah sunflower seeds i'd have before it yeah uh pumpkin seeds that's the ones we're talking about oh

well i think they have different seeds.

So, if Anthony Head says roast pumpkin seeds, he will unfortunately be removed from the restaurant.

No ifs, no buts, Anthony.

Get out of here.

No ifs, no buts.

No pumpkin seeds.

Here is the off-menu menu of

Anthony Head.

Welcome, Anthony, to the Dream Restaurant.

Thank you very much.

Wow.

Well,

Anthony Head.

to the dream restaurant.

Oh, there's confetti falling from the ceiling.

Oh, there it is.

So much confetti this time.

I don't usually do much confetti, but I ordered a bunch of confetti for the last episode.

It didn't arrive in time.

And so I just

used all of it today.

Thank you.

You've got two weeks worth of confetti.

It's coming in my eyes.

Yeah, apologies.

And in my mouth.

Yeah, yeah.

Straighten it up.

Everything in this restaurant goes in your mouth.

Yeah, that's true.

How does the confetti taste?

Yeah, it's a bit papery.

Yes,

it's just just not confetti.

Yeah, it is, yeah.

I could get some Woolly Wonka confetti, actually.

That would be better, wouldn't it?

Well, if it's all

tasted like whatever your favourite meal is, that's what Willy Wonka would do.

Each little strand of confetti would taste like a different meal.

Oh, that would be confusing.

Yeah, it would be confusing.

You might just eat one little fleck at a time.

But unfortunately, the confetti here is paper, and like you say, paper-thin, much like the conceit of this podcast.

What?

Welcome to the dream restaurant.

James.

I'm sitting in the lamp.

With that sort of attitude.

James is a genie.

He's here to get you your dream meal.

Right.

From wherever you want.

From wherever I want.

Wherever you want.

Wherever you want in your life.

All the different times you'll...

Like, you know, maybe it's from your childhood and reminds you of being a little babber.

And maybe, like, you know.

I mean, did you like food much as a kid?

I did.

My mum was a really good cook.

Oh, yeah.

Shout out.

Shout out her name or shout out.

Shout out her name or even, yeah, yeah, what's her name?

Helen.

Helen.

She was an actress, actually, Helen Shingler.

Ah.

Bless her.

But she was a good cook.

But I did go off.

I went off spinach because they used to do like cream, cream, cream, spinach.

I think it made me.

It wasn't at school.

I don't know.

And my dad was of the generation where you'd sort of bring yesterday's meal out.

and make the child eat it until it

yeah

didn't last you were naughty yeah because it was i was just

as a punishment not as a punishment

well just sort of no you've got to eat it yeah you know and all because they were the war generation so you know ultimately you didn't waste food my my dad's exactly the same really 50s 50s boy so they're still on sort of weirdly on rationing post-war post-war rationing yeah yeah so yeah you've got to eat everything on the plate but that's also not a problem for me but I've never liked cream spinach ever It's interesting that you went, you remember going off spinach as a child.

Were you on spinach previously?

I think, well, maybe it was the first time I ate it and was

immediately didn't like it.

I did go off tomato juice.

I used to have that was my drink when I was a child.

I don't know why, I have no idea why

but uh when I went out, it's like, oh, well, I'll have a tomato juice, please.

And then I'd had so much that I was like, no, actually, I don't think I wanted any more.

Thanks, no.

It's like having a soup.

Yes, it's a very heavy drink.

A little dissipative soup that you had as a child.

I mean, I told you.

Were you into that?

Was anyone else in your family into it?

It was just you?

Yeah, me.

I think it was just me.

Yeah, it's you.

My grandfather used to take us out to sort of to clubs and things.

Not nightclubs.

It's a very weird story.

Yeah, yeah.

Where your granddad takes you to a nightclub and you have a tomato juice.

One tomato juice, please barbecue.

You can have yesterday's tomato juice.

You didn't finish that when you were there.

So you would have tomatoes, you'd be taken to clubs?

Yeah.

Yes, this is sort of quite vague.

Like after-school clubs and stuff.

No.

Like acting clubs.

No, because

he was a

surveyor, chartered surveyor, and he was sort of like very central London.

He belonged to a couple of sort of

central London kind of

La Di Da clubs.

And so, yeah, I just remember going out.

Not that often, but I do remember going out with them a couple of times.

And the second or third time, it was just like, no, I don't want tomato juice anymore, thanks.

No.

No.

I imagine you as a child in one of those clubs in a full suit drinking a tomato juice out of a cocktail glass yeah with a little welcome to that imagination

a little i probably was dressed up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

i love it just a little kid in a suit

i don't think i had a suit no it's probably in a little sailor suit called

little sailor suit maybe

just as a corduroy corduroy but also it has to be said because my mum used to make a lot of clothes so quite a lot of stuff that i i did have i did have a corduroy jacket that she made.

She actually made my school blazer

when I was

fourth or fifth form.

I don't know what that is now.

But yeah, and I used to think it was because we were sort of really affluent, but actually, it turned out we didn't have much money.

So she was like, you know, making do with being economic, as it were.

Your mum sounds like a one-woman industry.

Yeah, she really was.

She was extraordinary.

It's amazing.

Acting.

And then your granddad

is in all these posh little members-only clubs, and and you're going in there with your homemade clothes.

I love it, yes, and

not having tomatoes.

You turn it down.

So, I got to see this morning the first episode of Yes Stranger,

which is a new Netflix series that you are in.

Yes,

I don't think it's a spoiler warning to say you're not really in the first episode.

That's not a spoiler, no.

Yes, I'm not in the book, actually.

Harlan Coburn's book.

No, because when they adapted the book, Dan Brockalhurst adapted it and they basically they they've given what is a very very very basic central wow story and they sort of because they've got to create eight episodes yes so i i'm i am adam price is played by uh by richard i'm his father okay he's he's uh the central figure and i'm just a nasty piece of work that's basically ruined his life and is now uh up against him so you're a bit of a baddie yes do you like playing a baddie um i do actually i must admit for a long time for most of my career i don't always play baddies but when i do i always like to bring some reality some because i always said you know not everybody gets out of bed wanting to be bad um they have a reason and you can defend that reason and then sort of

the thing that's sort of come more and more into into public awareness is narcissism which uh

There is no reason, really.

You just are not necessarily a nice piece of work.

It's just everything is about me.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, the last couple of characters I've played are definitely narcissists.

Do you think you do you have to like the character to play the character?

Do you have to find a reason to like them or can you just play straight up evil?

I think, no, I think, I think if you play too much,

then it gets it just gets a bit bad.

That was good, though, that noisy dick.

And you enjoyed it.

Yeah.

Although, yes,

I did play an evil character in a radio show called Bleak Expectations, and I developed a laugh for that.

Which was, yes.

I want you to do that every time a course is brought to you at the restaurant.

Right, to your restaurant.

What?

Jolly good.

It doesn't make me nervous.

I'm not waiting.

What over does that laugh?

They might amuse me, even if I don't like them.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you can be interested in them without necessarily liking them.

That's cool.

I get out of bed wanting to be bad.

Do you?

Yeah.

Do you?

You never must.

Do you achieve your aims.

No, but I

get out of bed.

I want to be bad.

What's the first thing you do to make yourself a bad boy for the day?

Oh, immediately, what I do is I go and I use someone else's toothbrush and they'll never know.

But I just brush my teeth with someone.

Actually, I did that.

You live alone, though, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I've got to walk a few blocks

until

I find an open front door.

Yeah.

Let myself in.

Brush the old pegs, go back home.

You shouldn't be taking your old pegs in as well.

But I've told you to buy some new pegs.

I'm washing up and I like to clean my pegs with toothpaste.

So, you're a well-travelled man.

You've been around the world.

Yeah.

Do you i is food part of uh part of your life?

Would you say you enjoy it?

I do definitely enjoy it.

Yes, I've been all over the place.

And what's quite interesting is is that we over

during my life, England has gone from

English cooking to pretty much everybody's cooking.

It's adapted very well, I think, to absorb

palates from around the world.

But

yeah, no, it used to be very, you know, Shepherd's Pie and

meat and two veg and all that, and that was it.

And it was like, no, we can actually get it.

And cream spinach, of course.

You can't forget the cream spinach.

I want to delve it more into the character you're just playing.

Because I like the character.

I like the the character's play.

Is it the character who said Shepherd's Pie?

Shepherd's Pie.

Yes.

Is the character called Shepherd's Pie?

No, but I'll see if I can invent him.

Yeah.

I like the character.

What would the character's name be?

Well, Shepherd.

Shepard.

Shepard.

Shepard's Spy.

Shepherd Spy.

Shepherd?

Shepherd's Spy.

What's Shepherd's Pie's job?

Is it a Shepherd?

Maybe he's a night.

Maybe he's a Shepherd, yeah.

Maybe, yeah.

He's a Shepherd.

And he just eats Shepard's pie.

Who's called Shepard's Pie?

That's a pretty good character.

I like the character, yeah.

Have you still got the phone number for Netflix?

I think the three of us could

quickly launch a new shepherd's potato.

Very good.

You could definitely knock something together.

And I'll be his neighbour who always wakes up wanting to be bad.

Yeah, and one toothbrush.

He's using a toothbrush every time.

So he can't.

Just assuming that he's got a toothbrush.

Yeah, Shepard's.

Chippy might not have a toothbrush.

And we just wake up and put mashed potato on his toothbrush

Immediately.

Well, we always start with your choice of water.

If you like, still have sparkling water with your meal.

With meal, I like sparkling water.

Okay.

Yes.

And

has that always been the case?

I have no clue.

Yes, I think so.

Do you not remember the first time you ever had sparkling water?

No.

No.

The day when you went to the club with your granddad and you were saying, no more tomato juice, please.

Well,

when you go out,

it's just having a glass of flat water.

It's like, you know,

just feels like being at home.

Yeah.

Mind you, when I was filming in South Africa, I think I probably

had still water quite a lot because you'd be thirsty.

Yeah.

It's quite hot there.

It is famously.

And does sparkling water not quench your thirst?

You can't drink too much of it at a time because obviously the gas.

Yes, gas issue, yes.

Yes.

Brought Sheppy back again.

Yes, he's come back.

Well, that might be his cousin.

What were you filming in South Africa?

A sci-fi show called Dominion, which actually was a very interesting conceit.

It was about

angels taking back the earth because God actually is not interested anymore.

And

it was a post-apocalyptic show.

It was odd and interesting.

So angels are taking back the earth?

Yes.

And you're there drinking the still water?

That's what you're carrying.

Well, not on set necessarily, yes.

Not on the massage.

I have difficulties selling between real life and

the film.

I mean, he's pretending to be a genie right now, but you know, you're pretending, right?

Not pretending.

You've come here wearing your blue genie suit today.

Yeah, Anthony says it's real.

Yeah, yeah.

If you were

being attacked by angels,

what do you think would be the best way of beating them up?

Oh, very interesting.

Well,

I don't think my character particularly beats, because

I won't go into it in too much depth, but my character, again, was a baddie,

was an American politician who,

because we were in a town called Vega, which was basically had been Las Vegas.

Right.

And we'd sort of got huge walls around it, and we'd sort of fended off the angels,

but they did sort of find their way in occasionally.

Can angels not just jump through walls?

They've got wings.

Yeah, they have.

Yeah, yeah.

But we've got ACAC guns and all that techniques now.

Can you kill an angel?

Are you dead?

I don't think they're dead, people.

They're zombies, aren't they?

No, they're not.

Zombies and angels are two different things.

Yeah, they are, yeah.

Although, although we did have our sort of equivalent to zombies.

This was a while back, so

me being.

You weren't expecting to get an interview about this, did they?

Were you?

No.

Would you like, okay,

here's an option then.

Still sparkling water, twist, it's holy water, and you can melt an angel with it.

Well now you're back in Buffy land.

Oh yeah, yeah, we're going even further back.

Off his Buffy.

I'm just pulling your leg.

I'm just pulling your leg.

I know what Buffy is.

Oh yeah, you think Giles would drink some holy water?

No, no,

he wouldn't want to waste it on himself.

He'd have because

there must have been a night where Giles just gets hammered on his own and it's like, oh yeah, give dimmer some of the holy water.

I think he'd probably go to the brandy rather than the holy water because the holy you want to save your holy water against the vampires wouldn't you?

But he wouldn't have to be.

Surely Giles have been really curious forever about what the holy water tastes like and we get when they get smashed enough and what it just tastes a little bit of it.

Well it probably just tastes like yeah I don't think I don't think there's a different taste to it.

It tastes different.

They don't add like holy squash to it or something.

It's not like cordial.

Or if it's been sitting in one place,

it's a bit

eggy.

Maybe a bit eggy, I think, of holy water.

Well,

I know, because you haven't tasted it.

You'd be very tempted to be like, does it taste different?

Yeah.

Or maybe just haven't ever washing it, can't you?

That's not wasting it.

You still have it

drip off you back into the.

Isn't that called baptism?

Baptise yourself by accident?

I don't think you can baptise yourself, though.

By drinking it?

No.

Like how you can't tickle yourself.

Can't you?

Can't tickle yourself.

can't tickle yourself, can't baptise yourself.

That's true.

Anthony's just trying to tickle himself for the listener.

Anthony's now trying to tickle himself.

He's trying to tickle himself.

He's seen if it works or not.

I reckon Giles would have definitely had a little slip of it for sure.

It was probably a deleted scene.

Yeah, something like that.

Pop-dubs off it!

Pop-dubs off it!

Anthony hit!

Pop-a-dubs are bed!

He just made me jump!

Papa dubs are bad!

Anthony hit!

Anthony whipped a steak out there.

Yeah, absolutely, just shat a steak out there.

No, you just shat that.

You just made me jump.

But there you are.

But what I liked was you were laughing about it as you were jumping.

Yeah, you did like it.

You were chuckling and jumping at the same time, and I enjoyed that very much.

Benito, were you on that?

Did that just peak, or did you manage to get it?

Yeah, it's fine.

He knows it's coming home now.

Although, to be honest, it took me by surprise a bit today.

Good.

Yeah.

Did you shit yourself as well?

Yeah, oh yeah.

I thought I was

there.

Absolutely shit myself or that.

Yeah,

it's not got that reaction for a while.

No, I'm glad.

Yeah, it was really satisfying, actually.

You really timed it perfectly, I thought.

Yeah,

it came out of the blue.

Well, literally, because you're wearing blue.

Yeah, wearing blue.

Full genie today.

Very good.

It's really worked out quite well.

But poppadums or bread is the question, of course.

Well, it kind of depends what I'm eating.

Well, if I'm eating Indian, definitely poppy dumb.

Yeah.

In a restaurant that's sort of serving French or Italian,

I love seeded bread.

And

there's one restaurant that we go to that has really different, lots of different breads.

And they bring

little rolls of things.

A little selection of different rolls.

And do they do that thing, which I hate in restaurants where they make you pick?

They bring around the bread basket and they say, which one would you like?

I want all of them.

Sure.

Well, except you don't want to eat them all because then you've got no room for nothing else.

Yeah, but if they brought all of them, then I could have a little taste of each one.

Oh yeah, but then you're denying everybody else.

That's true.

I'm very selfish.

Well mind you, if you're on your own, I suppose.

Have a little pick of each one.

I'm always pretty good at just choosing when I don't love bread as much as Ed does.

So I'm quite good at it being like...

Mind you, are you creating a lot of waste in the world?

That's what I was just thinking as I was saying it.

I just thought I'm the problem here.

I'm creating bread waste.

Unless the kitchen staff don't mind the fact that you've picked

a roll and we'll eat the rest of it.

Or make it into breadcrumbs and put it on top of something.

Yeah, or

bread pudding.

Yeah.

Lovely bread pudding?

Not a great fan, but there you go.

You don't like it?

Not particularly.

No, to be fair, the foods that you said you don't like so far kind of forces.

I don't know what the category doesn't.

Genius cooked it, it would be light and frothy and it would be great, wouldn't it?

I suppose.

So there you go.

Is someone genie us?

So what's on offer?

What's the name of the place where you go that offers all the different breads?

Bakery.

Oh,

imagine if you thought you were the only person to go to a bakery.

We go so much.

I found the place.

So many different, a whole array of breads.

And there's a lovely man with a soft hat.

His bread is a bread.

It seems to be a bit lacking in butter.

I don't know.

Just the bread.

Yeah, no, it's a local.

We live just outside of Bath.

There are lots of very good restaurants in Bath, but

this is a place called The Wheat Chief.

And yeah, very good, very good cooking.

Because your surname minds with bread, do you go in and say Anthony Head would like some bread?

That's what I said.

I'd like to bread.

Not often, but I will from here on in.

I think it'd be nice to say that.

Ed does it because his first name is obviously wants of bread.

Ed I say Ed wants bread?

Yeah, Ed want bread.

Simple, simple to mine.

Yeah.

Eddie Breddy.

Eddie Brady.

Eddie Brady, yeah.

It says that over and over again.

Ready, Eddie Brady.

Yeah, Eddie, ready for bread.

Yeah, exactly.

Eddie, ready for Breddy.

I've been kicked out of a lot of restaurants.

Eddie, ready for bread?

So, what's on offer?

Which is the role that you go to first?

Which is

your dream role?

I'm dairy sensitive,

but I love cheese.

And

I think it's, I'm just trying to think.

There's one with

parmesan in it.

That's lovely.

But don't ask me.

Don't ask me.

I'll just go, ooh, I love that one.

Thanks.

You just get the grab.

I love olive bread.

I'm not here to ask you, Anthony.

I love olive bread.

Yes, adore.

There we go.

Because you could call me dairy sensitive as well, in that it makes me very upset and angry when people say they want cheese, especially as a dessert.

I like cheese enough, Anthony, but like

whenever.

We've had people in the past who've picked a cheese board as a dessert.

No.

And it sends James mad.

Yes.

That's how I'm dairy sensitive.

Yeah.

I adore

goat cheese.

I love goat cheese.

Okay.

Yeah.

Lovely.

So

would you like some goat cheese on your olive bread?

No.

That would be a complete waste of both flavours.

Would it?

Well, it would be more of a waste of the olive bread than of the cheese, because the cheese would probably absorb more of the flavour.

But

if you offered it to me, I wouldn't say no.

Well, no, it's your dream.

It's your dream.

It's probably the dream.

So if you would like the olive bread for your bread, we can give you the olive bread.

Give me milk.

With butter.

Or a little oil, a little dish of oil.

Oh, oil, actually, with olive bread would be good.

Holy oil?

There's a question.

Did Giles bless all of his condiments?

All the liquids in his house.

Did he bless all of them?

I don't think it was in

his sort of parameter to bless it.

He wasn't a priest.

Oh, James has never seen Buffy.

We should get that up.

Oh, that's because he's all.

I know nothing about Buffy.

My girlfriend tried to get me to wear her,

now, I want to say Sunnydale,

jumper.

Yes, you can say that.

She said, wear my jumper, because she's a massive Buffy fan.

She said, wear it, wear it.

And I was like, but I'll be caught out really quickly because, you know, I don't know enough about Buffy.

And I knew I'd get caught out.

And now I've been exposed anyway.

Yeah.

Because I said, does Giles bless all his condiments?

Yeah, I see.

My fiancé is a huge Buffy fan as well.

Ed's got a fiancé.

Instantly one up in me.

My girlfriend likes Buffy, yes.

My fiancé likes Buffy.

She gets well.

She does that.

I don't think she has a Sunnydale jumper, no?

No.

He's disappointed in her.

Yeah.

No.

Doesn't sound like manage material, does she?

Would you marry someone who hadn't bothered to buy a Sunnydale jumper, Giles?

Called you Giles, then.

I love it.

So you're having oil.

Yes.

Unholy oil to

dip the olive bread into.

What's holy oil?

It's something he made up.

Who would bless it?

Like holy water.

Holy water just gets blessed by a priest, right?

I'm just saying, I've got a priest in the kitchen for this episode.

Right.

And they can bless any of this food you want, especially the liquids.

And if you want that oil blessed, I can do it.

Jolly good.

Otherwise, I can't...

What this restaurant isn't protecting against is vampires, mate.

And they're going to come in here.

And if you don't have some holy food...

Well, if you haven't got garlic in the kitchen, then...

Oh, yeah.

That's a problem.

He's absolutely got you there.

That's the point.

I mean, we've got anything you want.

You should have garlic in the kitchen.

Do you want us to...

Hopefully they're not going to be invading.

No, I don't think they will be.

They might be.

We'll just say the meal's during the day, and then it's fine.

They can't come anyway.

But closed it, do you close during the day?

No.

It's a dream restaurant.

You can't close it during the day.

I want to add some jeopardy to this meal.

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Now, of course, we come to your starter.

A starter.

Yeah.

Do you enjoy a starter?

Yeah.

Yes.

You can do some honourable mentions if you like.

You can do any character you like.

I feel sad for them, but I do like a Scargo.

If they're good.

Especially in France.

But I sort of feel sad for the snails.

Do you feel sad of the snail?

Oh, is that the snail?

Oh, you're talking to a snail?

That's not a snail in person.

No, no.

But you're talking to it beforehand.

What are you saying to it there?

I'm sorry.

But the snail wouldn't, does the snail understand English?

If it's a French snail?

Probably not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's probably shrugging at me, but I can't actually wait.

Another question.

Can a snail shrug?

Good question.

Well, if you see it's

shell move.

I guess you see shell move on to the open.

Yeah.

But I did recently I had a lunch

and I fell in love.

It was just, it was tunacabaccio and it was, ooh, it was just

stunning.

gorgeous where was this uh it was actually uh the ivy in bath oh yeah and is that your choice for your dream starter i think actually yes even though i'm very again i'm very because i i don't eat meat i do eat fish um but the fact that tuna i mean it's got a chance out there um you know because it's not farmed um so um

i do love tuna a good good tuna the meat the meatiest fish as well the closest you can get to meat without having meat well i guess.

But

that's not the reason I love the flavour.

I like sushi.

Tuna is my favourite sushi.

So is the Carpatro's raw?

It's raw tuna, which has been

marinated in citrus

so that it basically

partially cooks the meat.

But it's it's oh it's gorgeous.

It's really thin.

Very, very thin.

Would you like holy tuna or do you think?

Oh god, I think we yeah

well i've got a what did i get a priest in for then why did i get a priest in tell me that it has to be said if it was holy tuna it would if it's got holes in it i would say it's probably rank yeah

i don't want to switch no no no it's just thinly sliced tuna but blessed by the priest of god does it change the flavor when the priest blesses blesses things

because i think you just have to be at the top of the judge now i don't think you'll have to be the judge of that the priest could bless everything or the plea the priest could just go home that's what you know give him a day off.

Yeah, give the priest a day off.

No, this is his only day off.

And I never had him in before.

Got him in especially for you.

And it depends what kind of a priest he is, really.

You know, I'm not going to say don't to anyone.

If that's what they need to do.

It's fine for him to come out.

I mean he will, you know.

That's very gracious of you that at your dream meal you are letting a priest bless all your food just because he's here.

That's what he needs to do.

I'm not going to stop him.

Tell him he can bless everything as long as it doesn't change the flavour.

Okay, well.

And don't.

Hopefully it won't change the flavour.

Too much salt iron.

And not too much salt.

Just because that comes...

He's nowhere near the salt.

Well, you never know.

That cloaks the...

I like a bit of salt, but...

Yeah, you need a bit of salt to bring out flavour, right?

You don't want to go too far.

Don't want to put it on your tuna.

A ring of salt, that would keep...

Does that keep vampires away?

Yeah, what does a ring of salt keep away?

Doesn't circle salt?

Circle of salt keeps ants.

Ants, yeah.

Don't want any ants coming in.

Don't want them.

What else goes on the caupatch, then?

So citrus, is there anything else?

I think a little black pepper.

Oh, lovely.

That's a nice light way to start the meal as well.

You're not too full going into it.

You've just had a little olive bread and then a tuna carpaccio.

You're ready to go.

Yeah.

And because it was quite recent when you had that tuna carpaccio, can you remember what you remarked when you ate it?

Well, apart from

which I forgot.

You forgot the evil laugh.

The evil laugh.

Even when the ID got scared.

It was, oh,

oh, oh, oh,

oh, that's like the opposite of the noise you made to the snails.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Then this is like completely the opposite.

I make a lot of noises when I eat something I like.

I really, it was like, oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, goodness.

And when I'm with my fiancé, I've got a fiancé jacket.

Oh, God.

She hates it.

Not going to last.

Well, she hates the noises.

You're making the noise.

She's like, don't just.

Why can't you just enjoy it without making stupid noises?

because you're sharing it you're sharing it's basically saying to the other person oh this is because the next move is have some of this yeah oh no that's never the next move with me no you clearly make the noises until i've finished it you clearly have never met ready for bready gambling then that's like

that's like saying this is really yummy yeah yeah you can't it is it's it's this is really yummy you should have ordered it well then you'll know you're listening

then don't make this don't make the noise that's good to to know that's where the line is.

I didn't know that's why that's how I'd gone wrong, but it's good to know now.

He does do a lot of that.

This is so good.

Not for you, though.

Yeah.

Oh, that is what I do.

Oh, God.

That's why.

That's why you're going to get a divorce before you even get married.

Bad luck.

Ed to become the first person to get divorced before he gets married.

Yeah.

Impressive if you can do it.

That's why I've got a priest here.

Yeah.

Is it blessing all the food?

Do a quick divorce.

Go home.

Your main course.

Very exciting, the main course.

I mean, when you're going to have a meal, are you mostly excited about the main, the starter, the dessert?

Well, I don't know.

We went to our restaurant

the other night in Tadworth for a friend's birthday, yeah, West Ham.

It's sorry.

It's near Kingswood.

And it was, I think, Turkish influence.

And we just had all starters, because they were amazing.

The prawns, calamari,

oh, what else were the potatoes?

Were just amazing.

And we didn't even go into the main course because Turkish food is so good for the starters.

It was like the mezzo was just

fantastic.

Oh, I love it.

So there was lots of...

But

you were sharing everything, so it was okay to make noises.

Yes, and because obviously, you know, it was all coming at once.

There wasn't too much.

None of that.

Not enough room for that.

I can't do that every time.

Oh, I'll be out of breath.

Especially because you're sharing with everyone.

You've got to be, you know, have your wits about you, your fair share.

Yeah, because things were going very quickly.

It has to be said.

You had to get in there.

Yeah.

I'd say Turkish food is rapidly ascending my league table of

food nations.

Okay, that's something we haven't done before.

Favourite cuisines?

Anthony?

Top three,

like world cuisines.

If you had to just all you could have for the rest of your life.

It's three different world cuisines.

Not in any order.

Not in any order, but maybe after we've heard the three, we'll try and get you to commit to one as your number one.

I guess I would say

Tushi, Mexican, and sushi.

Yeah.

Japanese.

Japanese.

Yeah.

And Thai.

Just making sure you didn't pick up.

Sushi

Why don't I throw in top four?

Because Indian, I love Indian too.

That's tricky, isn't it?

But

Japanese, Mexican, Thai.

That's a good, that's a solid lineup.

That is good.

I think Japanese and Mexican might be in mine as well.

Japanese is in mine.

I think Japanese is our Venn diagram crossover.

The three of us.

Are the three of us going to go to Japan and leave Pennett over hung?

I think it seems like it.

Venn diagrams.

Since I was at school.

Venn diagrams.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll med diagram overlap.

Very good.

Yeah.

Oh, we could go to Japan.

We'll do a travel show.

Yeah, the three of us.

Going around.

That'd be good.

And do diagrams.

Yeah, bring a priest.

Yeah.

The three of us and a priest.

Going around dalesting all the food.

Galessing all the food and eating it up.

That's fair enough.

If you're asking, James, I think Turkish,

Japanese,

so difficult the last one, isn't it?

Maybe Spanish ate a lot of tapas.

Right, okay.

Yeah, I did a show in Spain and grew very fond of damp.

Whereabouts in Spain?

Extremadura.

It was basically that area.

That sounds like the name of the show.

Extremadura.

Extremadura.

Close.

What were you being attacked by in this show?

Basically,

it was an extension of Romeo and Juliet.

It was what

the...

So they were zombies.

So it was our zombie.

Shakespeare zombie.

It was after they died?

No, it how the families then carry on.

Oh, goodness.

I was Lord Capulet.

So you were just organising funerals?

Was it all just over?

No, I'm organising funerals.

Fighting off the other the other family.

They were fighting.

It's so annoying.

So you were fighting

the Montagues.

The Montagues, yeah.

Well done, James.

That was good, wasn't it?

Yeah, cool.

I looked at Ed there and then it came to me because

Ed looks like a posh old Montagues.

So I looked at him and I thought, oh, the Montagu is coming along.

If you had to choose then, you've got to fight a vampire or an angel or a Montague.

Or a Montague.

Yeah.

Which one would you want to punch in the face?

That's all you can do is punch him in the face.

That's your only...

That's all you're allowed to do.

Probably the Montagues, because they wouldn't.

Bite you.

Bite me or...

Flutter you away.

Whatever angels do.

Yeah,

pray for you.

Yeah, no, they didn't do that.

No.

No, no, it doesn't.

So we know your top three cuisines, but is your main course going to be from any of those?

What is your dream main course, please?

Sea bass, sea bass, sea bass.

I tell you what, you're a veggie, but you are absolutely draining the ocean, mate.

Yeah, I know,

absolutely, sorry,

I love,

I do love uh vegetarian food, I do, I do, but what if we told you and we are talking about favourites which don't happen that often, yeah, that's true?

Absolutely, what it is, would it make you feel better if you find out that the sea bass that you're eating died because it crashed head-on into the tuna that you had had for your starter.

Oh,

depends if they were yanked out of the ocean at the same time because if they were then floating because of the colours.

No, no, no, then they were straight, then they were straight out.

So they're fresh, but they died in an accident.

Yeah.

Okay.

They collided with that.

Headfirst into one another.

But I do feel bad.

I do feel bad.

Oh, it's awful that it happened.

Don't get me wrong, but it's a better environmental situation than

and at least they're both out there in the ocean, you know, and

they have a life.

Yeah.

And it just sort of gets curtailed.

And they were swimming towards each other because they were in love and they were going to have a kiss.

So they died very happy.

Because their offspring were going to be tunas.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, tuna.

Tunas.

Yeah.

But they head by each other and then they both did a fart and then the bot and then someone bottled the bubble water and that's what you had for your

sparkling water at the start.

I thought it was a bit fishy.

Yeah.

Special.

And you wanted to make your whole meal for the one incident.

And the priest gave them a lovely funeral before we cooked them for you as well.

Yes.

That's why the priest said.

He's always so stuck about some blessings.

How would you like your sea bass cooked?

Pan-fried.

Pan-fried?

Yeah.

Simply pan-fried?

Simply pan-fried with

the skin on, please.

Is this something you do at home?

Yes.

And how have you mastered the crispy skin?

Because I think I always mess it up.

It's so good.

Seabass you can't.

It's very, very difficult.

I mean, you can, basically, you're supposed to

cut across, you know, do a

whatever it is, what you call that.

Scoring.

Scoring,

and then the skin doesn't, because otherwise, it bends the fish up.

But basically, I don't bother.

Just sticks to the pan a bit, yeah, but still tasty.

A good one, though.

When they get that skin good, oh, it's amazing.

It's amazing.

It's really that's why I love it.

That would be my choice in a restaurant, because they just get it spot on.

Soft, flaky, again quite meaty, but like big flakes.

And do you want this one made for you by a particular chef?

Or is this your own homemade one?

Um, I think most places I've been I have very good.

Um they do a very good one at the wheat shift, they also do a very good one at the at the ivy.

Um I mean it would probably be our first menu that it all comes from the same yeah that's fine.

We could stick we could stay in the ivy if you want.

Um yeah I I I

actually because the the side oh side

let's segue into the side yeah here we go because it's the first time i've because i only had it recently was uh

chips

um with truffle oil on them

just

very close

here's

every episode we have uh

uh a ingredient which is like which me and Ed don't like which if this person says it they get chucked out of the restaurant

And this week, we were so close to making it truffle oil because I've recently had it with truffle stuff.

It can be overdone.

I used to love it.

It can be well overdone.

If you use too much,

but that is so, honestly, it's so close.

And we didn't pick truffle oil in the app.

Because Benito said he'll pick truffle oil.

So I think I still like truffle oil, but I think once people cottoned on that you could use it in stuff.

It is slightly overused, overdone, and the bottom line is it has to be very subtle, otherwise it just cloaks every flavour in the juice.

Which is why it's quite extraordinary that on chips

it was just

I mean they were they were chunky fries.

They weren't it wasn't sort of

proper chips, chip chips.

But it was just

I don't know, it was just absolutely extraordinary.

When it works it works.

It's a heady, sort of mushroomy smell.

I had

some Nokia with it on.

Now you could have done Noki.

Yeah.

Because that actually, I wouldn't have said Noki.

I never got it.

Why would you eat potato pasta?

Sorry.

I quite like it, but this particular one, the first mouthful.

So I didn't know.

Also, here's a big criticism.

They didn't put that there was truffle in the

on the menu, which is such an overpowering flavour.

You want to give people a headshot.

Yeah, that's why you would pick a thing.

You might also be allergic to mushrooms.

Absolutely.

First mouthful I had, it was actually quite a pleasant surprise.

Like, oh, delicious.

I'm in heaven.

Every mouthful after that was, I was like, I'm done with this.

I'm done with this forever now.

No more truffle stuff.

It really, it really pushed me over the edge.

I still like a truffle cheese.

A cheese with some truffle in it.

Had a very nice truffle pecorino the other night.

Are you putting any parmesan on the fries as well?

That's a big thing.

Truffle Parmesan fries.

Well, I think there might be a bit of parmesan in there.

I'm not sure.

Because it's just, I mean, I'm not sure.

But

I wouldn't do it myself.

I wouldn't and saying, hey, you'll bung some parmesan.

I can't imagine you asking someone to bung anything on anything, though.

I don't imagine you're storming into the ivy nearby going, bung some of that.

Bung it on.

Bung me a bit of bread, mate.

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We come to your drink.

I'll tell you what I'm worried it's going to be.

Before we even started recording, you told us that you put honey in your coffee like a goddamn maniac.

I have never heard of anyone putting honey in coffee.

Really?

Yeah.

Honey and tea, I've heard.

Honey and tea.

Well,

no, it's actually really, really nice.

Is it?

Yeah, try it.

What kind of honey do you put in your coffee?

Just any?

It doesn't matter.

Yeah.

Way of knocking them out.

A honey-happy coffee as well.

Basically, I have a flat white with oat milk.

Flat white with oat milk?

Yeah.

Punk some honey in there.

Pung some honey in there.

Not too much, but it's just lovely.

Doesn't it taste like honey?

Not if you don't put too much, it just has a real warmth to it.

It's lovely.

Because Ed's learned a lot from doing this podcast, and one thing he has learned is that honey tastes like honey, haven't you, Ed?

I'm a bit of a gourmand now.

Yeah, yeah.

Very snooty these names.

Notices flavours.

Test them on anything.

Egg, what does chocolate taste like?

Chocolate.

Oh, there you go.

I must admit, my

favourite cocktail is margarita.

Oh, yes.

On the rocks, no salt.

Why people put salt on the edge on the rim?

I don't know.

I was so with you, and now I've diverged.

I love salt on the rim.

Oh, the salt on the rubber rubber.

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't.

If you're doing it at the shop, absolutely.

But why would you have

wiping some nutella around the outside?

Yeah.

You put it down there.

I'm not putting anything around the outside.

It's on the rocks.

It's straight.

It's got citrus flavour.

Why would you want to screw with that?

It's a wonderful, citrusy, sweet.

So just to take the edge off that, a little bit of salt.

Love it.

Love it.

Little flavour dance.

And then wine, I mean,

I love white, I love a good chablis, I love

reds, any number of reds.

They're, you know, beautiful.

Do you know your stuff with wine?

Um,

no, I'm not sort of like, oh, look at the, let me look at the wine menu.

But I was raised, my family,

mum used to do a lot of filming in France because she was Madame Maigray

back in the 60s.

And so we used to go every year, we used to go camping in France.

Knowing what I know about your mum so far, I thought you were about to say she made her own wine.

Yeah, yeah.

She owned a winery.

She made wine.

She was too busy cooking and making clothes.

But so yeah, they started me quite, I think, when I was about 10 or 11, maybe, what the French do, which is they give you wine with water

as a child.

That is amazing.

That blows my mind.

But it doesn't, it means that you're not, you don't sort of, when you get to sort of

being an adult, you don't knock back the wine.

You're just very used to drinking alcohol in a very sort of discreet and gentle way.

It just kind of tunes you.

I'm not saying that everybody should do it, but it definitely, you know, I'm not abusive with alcohol.

I'm not, I don't like getting drunk.

And that's because you sort of, it was normalized very early on.

So if only when you were a child, someone had put some water in your honey, and then

you would have beat some all over the shop.

I'm not all over the shop with me, honey.

Oh, yeah.

You might be.

I am out of control actually when it comes to honey.

Regularly sweet stuff.

Winnie the poo over here.

Yeah.

Going.

That's why I've got no trousers on.

I am going to have to look.

I told you I woke up this morning wanting to be back.

It's true.

He hasn't got any trousers on.

Get that person's toothbrush out of there.

You've got margaritas on one hand, you've got wine on the other.

Which one are you going with?

And then we need to pick a wine if it's wine.

Wineritas?

Well, I guess it's up since I'm, I mean, I actually don't mind drinking red wine or white wine with fish.

It doesn't you know everybody says you have to drink one or the other but I'll go with a

really nice

Chabli or

yeah no go with Chabli.

Chabli.

Yeah.

Lovely.

From the Ivy?

Anywhere mate.

Oh man everything else is from the Ivy so if I'm just saying there's we could give you the choice if we want it all for the Ivy for consistency.

James is really into the idea of you picking everything from the Ivy, I think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We never had that before.

We've never had someone do like a whole menu from one place.

It's quite exciting to me.

That might happen for the first time.

But then again, well, you know, we're moving to the dessert course now, and you might have a specific dessert in mind, which is not from the Ivy.

I don't want to.

They did actually have it.

But yeah, but it's just, I mean, I will have it anywhere, and some are better than others, but creme caramel.

Oh.

Creme caramel.

I think it's our first creme caramel on the podcast.

It is the first creme caramel.

You're joking.

Yeah, no one's chosen creme caramel yet.

Good grief.

That's true.

Now.

Are they stupid?

I'm going to really upset my

car.

I don't like creme caramel.

Uh-oh.

I found the consistency.

You know, you're allowed to call it stupid now.

Absolutely allowed to do that.

You should be allowed to.

I said, people who don't like creme caramel are stupid.

I don't like creme caramel.

I'm not into because you get the creme caramel when it's all soft.

I love it when it's been torched, so

it's got a creme.

Brulee on the top.

Brule, yes.

Creme brulee.

So you're into.

So creme.

Creme brulee rather than creme caramel.

I'm more on board with a brulee.

Yes, I think suddenly our hot, yeah, a lot of people listening to this podcast who were on the fence with creme caramel have now come firmly over onto your team when you said it was brulee.

Because with creme brulee,

I don't trust people who don't like it.

I'm into a creme brulee.

Agree on that.

I think my problem with creme caramel is the consistency and it's wobbly and I don't, it's jelly you can't see through and I don't trust it.

Sure.

It's jelly that you can't see through.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's it hiding?

I'm thinking creme brulee.

Lovely.

I'm into a creme brulee.

I love cracking through the top.

Yeah.

It feels like you're on

an ice rink.

Yes.

And you go through it.

You're not sinking.

And then you go through it.

And then your life's in danger.

Yeah.

And then you're in.

Yeah, but you eat your way out of the disaster.

Love it.

And I'm assuming you want the priest to get involved to make it a hole brulee?

Is he a Spanish?

Is he a Spanish priest?

Creme Jolet.

Jole, brulee.

It's a creme hole.

I love it.

Maybe a.

I was really not into the priesting when it started, but I'm glad it came full circle.

Always does, just like God.

The Trinity.

It's a circle, isn't it?

Okay, Anthony, I'm going to read your order back to you now and tell me how you feel about it.

You like sparkling water?

You would like olive bread with some olive oil, holy.

You would like to start using tuna carpaccio from the Ivy and Bath.

Your main course, you would like the pan-fried sea bass, skin on from the Ivy and Bath.

Your side dish would be chips of treffle oil from the IBM bath.

Good grief!

Your drink is a white wine chevlis, which they do have at the IBM Bath.

We can get you from there.

And dessert, which you've also said is at the IBM Bath, is creme brulee.

All of this has been blessed by a priest.

How do you feel about it?

I feel fine.

You feel great.

And I feel hungry.

Yeah, that happens, huh?

You'll have to now, unfortunately, go directly to the IVM bath.

Yeah, just because

you're going to be able to do that.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

You can go get some.

It's the only place that's going to satisfy you now, really, though, is the the Ivy and Bath.

Great menu.

A lovely, lovely menu.

Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

Any final thoughts about food for the listeners?

Eat.

And I must admit,

yeah,

no, I'm not going to get into whether you should eat meat or not.

But if you do, you do.

If you don't, you don't.

But I must admit, I am steering away from meat gradually.

Yes.

Not completely, but you know, I do like my fish, but I am also,

I do love vegetarian.

I think it's a positive message in this day and age.

So do I.

Steer away from it.

There it is, the off-menu menu of Anthony Head.

What a fun episode.

Well, I might mosey on down to the ivy now.

Yeah, the ivy got a big shout-out there.

Yeah, yeah, a big shout-out for the ivy.

I mean, to be fair, he initially gave the shout-out to the ivy and you really led him down that path.

well i don't know you took his hand and you led him all the way down the ivy path we did three in a row and then i just was like come on let's make it a full house

um i really enjoyed that episode i was very excited to meet anthony because i really enjoy buffy yes and i was really glad to call you out for never having watched it yeah deserved it i deserved it i deserved it

um he did not say the secret ingredient james he nearly said one that we were going to do very tense i mean

i'm very glad that we didn't pick truffle oil now because he was so nice i would have felt really bad chucking Anthony out of the restaurant for saying truffle oil, but he didn't say roasted pumpkin seeds.

No, he didn't.

Thank you.

Thank you, Anthony.

You did stay in.

Yes, you can stay in.

That's fine.

Good instance from Benito that we shouldn't say truffle oil.

And a quick replug for Harlan Coburn's The Stranger on Netflix.

January 30th, all eight episodes drop.

I've seen the first one.

It was gripping.

I can't wait to see the rest.

Speaking of plug-in, we've had some food, haven't we, Ed?

We have

some food.

A veritable cornucopia of food.

The good people at Grey's sent us a lot of snacks.

Yeah, loads of snacks.

Really nice snacks.

My favourite, James, is the one that's like chocolate,

dried cherries, and pecans.

Yes.

Well, you made a stone if that's not your favourite, because it is absolutely delicious.

It is brilliant.

I love that.

Thank you,

thank you for sending those.

Brewdog Advent Calendar?

Brew Dog Advent Calendar.

Yes, they sent us one of their Advent calendars, which is, yes, 25 different beers.

Unfortunately, Benito is divided up into three.

Fine, so I have my third.

Spoiler warning, because it wasn't a full Advent calendar, I immediately opened all the doors.

Oh, yeah.

There's one in there that is 14% proof.

It's a 14% proof beer.

Oh, I bet you're looking forward to that one.

Can't wait to have that.

Thank you.

Also, we got sent some nine bars.

They're the seed bars.

They're very good.

I've had them before.

Oh, yeah.

Some of them have got carob on top of them.

Carob?

And I love carob.

Do you?

Yes.

I didn't know you liked carob.

I really like it.

It sounds like the sort of thing that would be on a

secret ingredient list, but no, I like it.

It's going to be in the future.

Yeah?

Yeah, you can make your argument for it, but we're definitely going to have to use carob at some point.

Okay, but thank you for those seed bars, guys.

Hey, what are we up to?

I don't know.

Nothing, really.

No, I'm not really up to anything.

Taking a break, my book is still out.

Perfect sound whatever.

That's still out.

It's still out, is it?

Yeah, yeah, that's not been there.

I haven't taken it off the shelves yet.

Okay, good.

Good to hear.

So happy to promote that.

So, apart from that, you can go on my website, edgamble.co.uk, or go onto my Twitter.

But, you know, I'm kicking around, but I'm having a bit of a rest.

Yeah, yeah.

More of these, I suppose.

At Off Menu Official.

That's our Twitter.

Yeah, and the same on Instagram.

OffmenuPodcast.co.uk.

Go on the website.

Go on that.

That's got a full list of all the restaurants that are mentioned on the episodes as well.

That's pretty good.

Benito really goes out of his way to make sure they're all on there.

So, you know, go on there, have a little read.

But otherwise, just keep on listening, keep on trucking, keep on eating.

Thank you very much to Father Tim.

Thank you, Father Tim, for coming in.

came and blessed all the food today yes it's very nice of him lovely job thank you and also got me a divorce and they did a funeral for the fish yeah but otherwise we will see you again next week here in the off-menu restaurants don't go hungry

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah, and we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.