Best of 2019

Speaker 1 Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Speaker 4 Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Speaker 5 And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Speaker 1 Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

Speaker 1 They've created an absolutely amazing thing. And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

Speaker 1 We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time. And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Speaker 5 Absolutely.

Speaker 12 So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Speaker 3 Every penny raised go to supporting people in Gaza.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

Speaker 16 This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad. Opil is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

Speaker 16 Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

Speaker 16 Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot. But now, OPIL is putting birth control in our control.

Speaker 16 OPIL is a daily birth control that's FDA-approved, full prescription strength, and estrogen-free, and 98% effective when used as directed.

Speaker 16 Grab it online, or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed. So, if you're thinking about birth control, check out OPIL to see if it's right for you.

Speaker 16 Use code GIGLI for 25% off your first month of OPIL at opi.com. That's code GIGGLI at O-P-I-L-L.com.
Birth control in your control. We love to see it.

Speaker 19 You check your feed and your account.

Speaker 21 You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

Speaker 21 You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators. So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are in this economy.

Speaker 24 Next time, check Lyft.

Speaker 25 It's Stock Up September at Whole Foods Market. Find sales on supplements to power up for busy weeks.
Plus, pack your pantry with pasta, sauce, and more everyday essentials.

Speaker 25 Enjoy quick breakfast for less with 365 by Whole Foods Market seasonal coffee and oatmeal.

Speaker 25 Grab ready-to-heat meals that are perfect for the office and save on versatile no antibiotics ever chicken breasts. Stock up now at Whole Foods Market, in-store and online.

Speaker 26 There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Anibay sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.

Speaker 26 And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom, starting at only $699.

Speaker 26 The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa.

Speaker 26 With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Speaker 26 Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anabay has you covered. Visit washable sofas.com to upgrade your home.

Speaker 26 Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washablesofas.com.
Add a little

Speaker 26 to your life.

Speaker 26 Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Speaker 29 Race the runners! Raise the sails! Raise the sales.

Speaker 31 Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching. Over.
Roger.

Speaker 34 Wait, is that an enterprise sales solution?

Speaker 35 Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more.
Start converting your B2B audience today.

Speaker 35 Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Get started today at linkedin.com/slash campaign.
Terms and conditions apply.

Speaker 37 James, it's the end of 2019.

Speaker 37 What a year it's been.

Speaker 39 It has. It's flown by, mate.

Speaker 40 It goes so quickly the years.

Speaker 37 It does indeed, which means it's the end of off-menu for 2019.

Speaker 42 We'll, of course, be back in 2020.

Speaker 22 Absolutely.

Speaker 39 It's mad, isn't it?

Speaker 43 2020.

Speaker 44 2020. Who thought?

Speaker 28 I never

Speaker 12 futuristic sounding year.

Speaker 37 Oh, it is. It's a very futuristic sounding year, but that's not why we're here today to look forward.
We're here to look back, James.

Speaker 44 Oh, so many good memories, Ed.

Speaker 48 This podcast has been going for just over a year now, and I wish we could just reminisce.

Speaker 44 I wish there was some recorded evidence, you know, some record of this podcast so we could listen back to all the best bits.

Speaker 37 James, I don't think you know what a podcast is.

Speaker 44 Something me and you and Benito do in a room, and then word of mouth gets around No,

Speaker 37 we've been recording these

Speaker 37 That's why why do you think we've got these things in front of us

Speaker 37 for kissing You have been practicing kissing on that have you?

Speaker 51 Yeah,

Speaker 41 I kiss this all the time.

Speaker 37 That's why the edits take so long because Benito has to edit all your kissing.

Speaker 39 Oh Well, what do you mean edit?

Speaker 37 Yeah, he edits the podcast because this is all recorded. We speak to the guests in a recorded environment and then we put that out to the public.
That's how people know about it.

Speaker 37 It's not just Benito tries to remember what we say and then just goes and spreads it around the town.

Speaker 57 Someone tells someone else, I thought that was what it was.

Speaker 37 No, this is not Chinese whispers.

Speaker 57 That's why Benito's here.

Speaker 37 No, no, no, no. He's not the town crier.

Speaker 58 Oh, I've been telling everyone you're the town crier.

Speaker 37 So, James, today what we're doing is we're doing a best of. We're going to play loads of brilliant clips, our favorite clips from across the whole year and indeed the end of 2018.

Speaker 37 All the off-menu episodes, and we've got a little compilation of all of our favourite bits.

Speaker 44 So we say our best memories and then Benito recites them to us?

Speaker 37 No, because we've recorded it.

Speaker 48 Ed, are you sure it's not 2020 already?

Speaker 53 I feel like I'm in the future.

Speaker 39 Welcome to the future.

Speaker 37 I think this episode will be a lovely gift for someone who hasn't heard off menu before. Perhaps they want to know the flavour of off menu.
What's it all about?

Speaker 37 Well, play them this, because this is a mega compilation of all of our favourite bits.

Speaker 48 Oh, so many favourite bits.

Speaker 37 Or indeed, if you remember all of these episodes, but just want to have a nice reminisce without scanning through for your favourite bits, bang this on here.

Speaker 40 You want to reminisce a little bit?

Speaker 37 Hey, what do you reminisce about first ed what kind of stuff well you know quite often on off menu james uh the guests have taken the uh surroundings of the dream restaurant to the max they've invented their own foods right or they've eaten very innovative dishes that they remember oh yeah i remember like scuba's pip did that characterist matthews jordan banjo even dynamo he did and that's a great intro for this package of clips

Speaker 62 And I might have to come in the kitchen and make it for you because when I worked in Pizza, I invented, my name in real life is David Meads.

Speaker 62 I stopped using that name not for stage, but when I worked in HV, I was known as Pip, in loads of other places, I was known as Pip, but in Pizza Rutt, I was still known as David Meads.

Speaker 62 And then I invented the Meadsy base.

Speaker 63 So I'm going to have a Meadsy base on the side of the city.

Speaker 64 A meadsy base.

Speaker 62 And the way I created that, and I'm going to create a case.

Speaker 67 We will need to tell the kitchen how to make this.

Speaker 46 I've written this down.

Speaker 62 You do thin crust pizzas here, right?

Speaker 57 Yes.

Speaker 69 So slap out a thin crust,

Speaker 62 sprinkle it with cheese, then pop another thin crust on top of it.

Speaker 70 So we've got this cheese-encased base.

Speaker 62 Now, the problem you're probably thinking there is, but Pip, the cheese is going to bubble out of the sides.

Speaker 63 How do you seal that?

Speaker 62 Stuff the crust, mate. Stuff the crust, fold it over, stuff the crust.
So we've got a stuffed crust. So cheese in the crust and in the base.

Speaker 62 Yeah, and then the toppings, the sauce, then the toppings on top.

Speaker 72 So you've got a stuffed base pizza.

Speaker 73 What cheese are you putting in there?

Speaker 62 Again, I've gone for the four cheese mix because it's again a smoother blend.

Speaker 62 It gives a nice smooth melt.

Speaker 73 So you've had that on the garlic, right?

Speaker 75 Yeah,

Speaker 76 and now that's in the main course as well.

Speaker 78 It's exactly what's going on. I'm looking forward to hearing what the dessert's going to be.

Speaker 63 It's in the main course as well. Is it going to be cheesecake? Who knows?

Speaker 80 What I love the best about cocking is that you can have relatively small amounts of ingredients. This one particular is just three.

Speaker 80 But when you put them together, it's more than the sum of its parts. So your three ingredients are tiaria,

Speaker 80 vodka,

Speaker 80 and half a pint of Guinness.

Speaker 11 Oh, God, yes, right?

Speaker 80 I'm not being funny, but when you get yourself a half pint, you pour in a shot of tiaria, you pour in your shot of vodka, and you fill it up with your Guinness,

Speaker 80 ideally from the draft, yes, or with a widget.

Speaker 7 If you, you know, we can have draft, it's the dream restaurant, it's the draft.

Speaker 43 If you separate

Speaker 81 chocolate,

Speaker 80 pure chocolate, And it's called Death by Chocolate.

Speaker 71 Oh, oh, lovely.

Speaker 82 Very nice.

Speaker 84 I like a sweet boozy cocktail.

Speaker 85 Yeah, I'm a peanut ladder man.

Speaker 53 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 84 So, like, yeah, some of it just tastes perfectly like chocolate, but it's actually three types of booze pretty great.

Speaker 80 Yeah, and it um tell you who gave me that recipe was Ian Brown from the Stone Roses.

Speaker 51 Did he now? Yeah,

Speaker 80 and it it's best best gift you can give somebody is a gift of ideas like that. Yeah, that stay with you all your life.

Speaker 80 And if you don't like Christmas shopping, that's you go into an old pub and you have a half a pint of that stuff, or even two, and then you lose it, then you lose all the history.

Speaker 80 No, and then it makes Christmas shopping kind of bearable because you just don't care.

Speaker 89 Have you guys ever been to Man versus Food in Heathrow?

Speaker 91 No,

Speaker 92 what there's a Man versus Food?

Speaker 65 So like the program.

Speaker 91 Like, is it official?

Speaker 93 Is it official?

Speaker 53 I don't know if it's official, but they've got that.

Speaker 89 I'm probably going to get them closed down now and sued for using them, but there's a restaurant. It's literally called Man vs.
Food. And they have like all these different dishes in there.

Speaker 89 No, no, it's like about 10-15 minutes from the airport.

Speaker 96 Oh, okay.

Speaker 98 You know that when you say Heathro, we think of the airport.

Speaker 100 I'll tell you what. You know where?

Speaker 101 Have you guys ever been to Sky?

Speaker 89 You know, like the huge, like, it's like a little city in there where they record all their programs and stuff.

Speaker 95 Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 89 You know that it's opposite that Tesco. It's literally right there.

Speaker 79 Right, okay.

Speaker 89 Okay.

Speaker 102 So in there, we went for a stag doing it.

Speaker 89 Everyone had to try a different challenge so a couple of the boys tried this thing i think it's called fire in the hole so there's so that it's like all there's loads of challenges

Speaker 6 all food challenges all food challenges

Speaker 89 so there's like a three foot hot dog there's like all this crazy stuff you have time limits and their their biggest challenge is called the gut buster and it's a it's a burger that weighs i think it's just over half a stone so people normally people order it as a birthday cake so it comes out and i don't mean like a normal like a little birthday cake you see like this and it's it's like really tall as well um and it's got, it's stupid, it's got like three packs of cheese in it.

Speaker 86 They have to use two bottles of ketchup.

Speaker 110 It is insane.

Speaker 89 And

Speaker 89 we all try, so the burger costs, I think it's like 60 quid.

Speaker 89 And if you finish it, they give you 250 pounds and your whole table eats for free.

Speaker 90 But obviously, I think five of us bought a burger and none of us.

Speaker 94 One each.

Speaker 72 One each. One each.

Speaker 89 Not one of us, not one of us got close to finishing it. Of course you didn't.

Speaker 63 There's three packs of cheese in it.

Speaker 89 Basically, not one of us got close.

Speaker 109 I had like,

Speaker 89 I think I got about a third.

Speaker 89 The closest person was one of our friends called Mitch, and he's, I think he's five, he's five foot four, and he ate the burger's as big as him, and he pretty much ate the entire thing. It was insane.

Speaker 101 Hold on, so how close did Mitch get?

Speaker 72 Mitch get, I'm talking about like, there was probably a normal-sized burger left.

Speaker 115 What's he playing at?

Speaker 82 250 quid of the whole meal.

Speaker 17 Everyone has spent 60 quid on a burger.

Speaker 116 Mitch Cartner's forced out of burgers.

Speaker 65 Although

Speaker 89 he couldn't finish it but that's what that's what i want because the burger itself you know if you think if you think you've got to cook a patty that big it's going to be like not very cooked nicely on the inside on the outside i don't know how they do it but it is cooked so good imagine a giant five guys burger yeah i love who does anyone here like five guys meet this is a constant debate between me and ed okay who are you repping well i sort of shake shack i enjoyed more when i had it shake shack's good but i've never had it in england i only had it in

Speaker 119 me too So

Speaker 120 I'm thinking of eating it in the States and eating five guys in the States. And I've had five guys here and I think it's fine.

Speaker 122 And I think the chips are nice.

Speaker 75 Okay, but all about the toppings.

Speaker 92 Yeah, but I've said this to you a million times.

Speaker 12 Five guys is about choosing the right toppings. Once you find the right combination of toppings, it's a samazy.

Speaker 120 A burger shouldn't be about the toppings, it should be about the burger.

Speaker 75 Ah, here we go.

Speaker 89 The eternal debate.

Speaker 93 Yeah, it should be about the quality of the patty, James.

Speaker 125 The patty's great.

Speaker 66 If you're going, oh, stick six different toppings on there, all you're doing is masking a bad patty.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, no, not at all.

Speaker 40 It's complimenting the patty.

Speaker 72 It all complements each other.

Speaker 73 And then, like, look, I've been in Shape Shack and got their burgers, and they're all right.

Speaker 61 I think their patties are too thin, personally.

Speaker 102 He has got a point in it out.

Speaker 63 I don't mind lots of thin patties.

Speaker 120 There's places that do like smashed patties that you can...

Speaker 67 Lots of thin patties. In-and-out's the best.

Speaker 79 I told you that.

Speaker 101 Oh, see, I wasn't a huge...

Speaker 127 I was so disappointed with In-N-Out burger.

Speaker 112 So, because it was good, but I was like, this is just a burger.

Speaker 53 Like, everyone spoke about it.

Speaker 89 Like, if you go LA and you don't get an In-N-Out, there's something wrong with your mixing out.

Speaker 120 It's got cult status, but I prefer a thicker patty anyway. I'd prefer to go to something like Honest Burger or Patty and Bun.
No, something like that.

Speaker 3 Absolutely not.

Speaker 53 I like

Speaker 64 Honest Burger and Five and all that stuff.

Speaker 73 I was like, that's fine.

Speaker 129 I'm not into them as much.

Speaker 73 I thought, I think for a while, I was like, okay, but I think they're too filling.

Speaker 3 And they're not as, like, when Jordan Jordan described that flavour of that burger then yeah, like you say I imagine like five guys and stuff like that.

Speaker 14 What that one's not too filling

Speaker 131 Jordan's burger The 60 quid birthday cake size burger is not too filling mixture all right

Speaker 134 See I thought it'd be really cool right to to have like a Sunday roast sandwich where the the the sandwich is actually the Yorkshire pudding and then you have like some Yorkshire pudding type

Speaker 134 is it is it it's not dough is it it's like what batter batter yeah so like Yorkshire pudding batter as a there's a top and bottom and then you have like the the roast beef maybe some roast chicken and then you have the potato roast potatoes kind of mushed up in between there with a bit of a gravy drizzled over the top and I think that's like you know that could be like a whole new thing that'd be a great sandwich

Speaker 14 now I've I've seen somewhere I can't remember where it was

Speaker 67 what show it was and whereabouts in the country it was but there is a place that does Yorkshire pudding wraps.

Speaker 122 So, what they do is they bake the Yorkshire pudding batter just not in the normal shapes.

Speaker 135 So, it's just a sheet of Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 67 And then they put in like roast dinner stuff, and they think they do like a cooked breakfast one as well, and roll it up.

Speaker 126 So, you've got just like a wrap, a Yorkshire pudding wrap.

Speaker 133 If anybody in the country knows where this place is, right,

Speaker 134 tweet me or Instagram me or whatever. All of us, hit us all up.
Dynamo Magician, you can find me. You know, i'm about let us know uh because i want to go to this restaurant so bad

Speaker 134 i'm there like this sounds like like sorry i know you guys are gonna dream up my dream meal yeah but i think ed's already found it yeah yeah that's it that's the one

Speaker 39 whoa whoa whoa whoa

Speaker 54 i think uh i think the gutbuster burger from jordan banjo and the revelation of mitch is one of my favorite things that's ever been on the podcast you liked it very much when Jordan tweeted a photo of Mitch afterwards, and you got to see how short Mitch was.

Speaker 37 Yeah, because Jordan said, my friend Mitch is quite short. And obviously, we all go, we all make fun of our friends sometimes.

Speaker 37 And even if they're a little bit short, we'll be like, oh, you're a little short one. And Jordan's very tall, so a lot of people are short.
Mitch is real short.

Speaker 37 Imagining him eating a gutbuster burger is hilarious.

Speaker 143 Very funny.

Speaker 37 You can go on Twitter, you can probably track down that picture, but he was the same height as a Gutbuster Burger was.

Speaker 37 Also, shout out to Dynamo for the Yorkshire pudding wraps, but I still don't like Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 47 I had a Yorkshire pudding wrap on Dynamo's recommendation.

Speaker 145 It was absolutely delicious.

Speaker 147 I loved it so much.

Speaker 47 Thank you, Dynamo. I had it in Leeds

Speaker 148 from the Yorkshire Pudding Wrap Company.

Speaker 37 And I've got to say as well, I don't know if you wouldn't have seen this because you're not on Twitter anymore, James.

Speaker 37 I was tweeted yesterday by the Yorkshire Pudding Festival offering us a role as judges at the Yorkshire Pudding Festival.

Speaker 131 I hope you said yes.

Speaker 37 I have ignored it.

Speaker 37 So, quite often, James, guests have revealed amazing things about themselves.

Speaker 10 That's what this podcast is not credited for.

Speaker 37 People always think about the food, but what this podcast actually does is it gets the big celebrity scoops.

Speaker 44 We've had revelations from so many people from Rose McGowan to Ashland B from Serge from Kazabian to Daro Brian, Loyal Carner, and even Krishnan Guru Murphy.

Speaker 37 Well, that's good that you've listed those people because that's exactly who features in this tiny package.

Speaker 150 Coincidence.

Speaker 20 I'm what they call a super taster.

Speaker 20 I have extraordinary taste pubs, but no, but things that are very mild tasting tasting to other people taste like a lot to me oh is this an actual thing I've never heard of a super taster this is a

Speaker 20 diagnosed thing and you're a super taster yeah that's awesome yeah so things like tapioca which tastes like nothing to most people I think tastes like a lot to me wow so this kind of explains as well why you don't like too many ingredients gourmet food too many ingredients for that it's it's literally too much for me almost yeah when did you find out you were a super taster about five years ago i I did a series of tests at Harvard actually, because I lost my smell in a freak accident, my sense of smell, but they were studying me because I could still taste.

Speaker 43 Right. Oh, wow.

Speaker 20 Which is, you know, it's normally interrelated. And I got hit in the head with a car door in a freak valet accident in Los Angeles.
You know how that happens. Yes.

Speaker 20 And it knocked, if you get hit, I guess, because I know a snowboarder, the same thing, he hit his head in this one same spot. And it just, he could still taste as well.

Speaker 20 Right. But he also hit his head again, like a year later, and it came back.
So I'm hoping that if I just get in the freak car accident again, just keep looking for clumsy valets.

Speaker 20 Just keep looking for clumsy valets.

Speaker 152 Well, so you're so

Speaker 143 cardor, hit your head, you lost a sense of smell.

Speaker 46 But then, is that when you became a super taster?

Speaker 53 Or were you a super taster before?

Speaker 20 I think I might have been before, but you don't notice it as much with a sense of smell.

Speaker 126 It's a cool

Speaker 120 origin story if you became a super taster before.

Speaker 20 I think I did because before I never noticed, but afterwards, everything became kind of like a taste explosion and too much.

Speaker 126 Oh, there's a comic book in that as well.

Speaker 49 It's crazy as well because I thought the sense of smell

Speaker 46 would enhance,

Speaker 148 would make things taste better.

Speaker 61 It's all connected, right?

Speaker 13 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 143 But instead, losing it made you the super taster.

Speaker 22 For me, yes.

Speaker 20 Wow. But that's also why they were studying me at Harvard Medical School, because, but then my doctor died of a brain tumor and that study ended.
Sorry, rest in peace.

Speaker 150 Wow. That's

Speaker 63 why that twist.

Speaker 73 You did not build us up to that in any way.

Speaker 20 No, I'm sorry. I just

Speaker 20 brought Debbie Downer right there.

Speaker 91 yeah

Speaker 157 here's an interesting thing if you want another celebrity fact because you know i'm i'm absolutely being totally hollywood yeah arriving 20 minutes late

Speaker 153 which you still get to apologize to me for

Speaker 157 um so i'm working on this netflix show at the moment with paul rudder

Speaker 157 and i don't think he'll mind me telling this because i i think it's matt paul doesn't like sauces what that is fairly odd.

Speaker 95 What a weird Hollywood film.

Speaker 53 No mustard.

Speaker 149 No, yeah.

Speaker 157 We've gone for food and we're eating together lunches and stuff. He doesn't, no vinaigrettes, no mustard, no ketchup ed.

Speaker 138 I'm talking about a man who'll order chips or fries as we call them.

Speaker 138 So you seat them dry?

Speaker 68 Dry. Chicken, dry.

Speaker 157 Everything, dry. No sauces.

Speaker 67 Big bowl of sand, please, for Paul Rose.

Speaker 98 Does he not order dishes at all?

Speaker 9 He orders things.

Speaker 157 Well, he'd order things, and can I get no sauce over that? Or like, does it come with mustard or anything? Or he'd have a burger, no ketchup or mustard, right?

Speaker 117 What the nearest thing to a sauce would be mustard.

Speaker 63 What brings you, Joy Paul Rudd?

Speaker 59 Absolutely nothing, dryness.

Speaker 162 I remember, like, and I still got this to this day.

Speaker 102 This just a little example of how bad it was.

Speaker 162 Like, I can't, I couldn't eat if a magician was on the telling.

Speaker 99 What are you talking about?

Speaker 162 Still to this day, it freaks me.

Speaker 42 I know that I'm not often surprised, Serge.

Speaker 163 I think, you know, working in comedy quite often, you can sort of of see where the left turns are going to come in.

Speaker 104 That took me by surprise.

Speaker 102 Honestly, like, it's not even, it's not even like...

Speaker 162 Every now and again, you know, like a Sunday, there'd be like a magician.

Speaker 162 It was more of those dove ones, you know, the 80s ones.

Speaker 163 Yeah, with the white gloves and stuff.

Speaker 164 Still now. And you know what?

Speaker 162 The next level is the unmasked magician. That does me even more.

Speaker 99 The guy with the white mask.

Speaker 162 The props and the leather and the face paint.

Speaker 9 paint and still I could go now like makes me bath man.

Speaker 98 So you wouldn't get to eat if there's a magician on the tele'cause it made you feel sick.

Speaker 133 Yeah, yeah, but I and I would, like, I would gag, like, it'd be bad, man.

Speaker 134 Like, I'd be round mates' houses and they'd bring food and I'd be like,

Speaker 71 ah, bad.

Speaker 73 Once again, they're watching a m a magic.

Speaker 162 Maybe if there was a magician on the telly, that was.

Speaker 163 Would they know? Would they do it on purpose?

Speaker 79 They'd like order a pizza magic.

Speaker 105 No, they would just thought

Speaker 162 they would just like they would just use take the piss, like a weird kid coming round that don't eat anything.

Speaker 102 If there's a piece of it. Just give them a slice of white bread and it'd be fine.

Speaker 48 But did they all know about the magician thing?

Speaker 167 No, that's coming.

Speaker 162 I kept it quiet just so they wouldn't put Paul Daniels on when when I came around.

Speaker 55 Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't want Paul Daniels on.

Speaker 162 David Copperfield,

Speaker 162 weird, man. That's kind of the level I was at.

Speaker 73 Oh, man.

Speaker 47 I've never, I mean, just the props.

Speaker 90 I don't know.

Speaker 162 You know, the look of them, I can smell them.

Speaker 86 I think I've got some like thing.

Speaker 168 Yeah.

Speaker 102 You know, you see, like, colour, like,

Speaker 63 some weird homesensitive thing.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 61 Synesthesia, is it?

Speaker 126 It's when you see colour.

Speaker 114 It's the only summit.

Speaker 101 It's not a little bit of a small. Yeah, synesthesia is when you can see

Speaker 94 colours.

Speaker 82 Whatever that is, but

Speaker 82 version.

Speaker 163 Yeah, you've got that, but

Speaker 101 you can smell a magician.

Speaker 65 You can smell a magician. You see a magician, you can

Speaker 99 smell all of his kits.

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 105 Oh, man.

Speaker 6 No, I know that all the bits smells like.

Speaker 82 That's disgusting.

Speaker 99 Imagine what it smells like inside that box they get cut in half, man.

Speaker 79 Oh, yeah, that's sweaty and horrible.

Speaker 63 I know.

Speaker 98 You imagine what it smells like in the box when they get cut in half.

Speaker 94 And

Speaker 94 I've got my writing wine.

Speaker 79 Right, okay.

Speaker 171 Writing wines, and then I've got, you know, their writing wines are quite different either to drinkers or to

Speaker 171 their ones.

Speaker 171 I don't know if you write with wine.

Speaker 82 No, but I love this.

Speaker 101 I love that they do.

Speaker 133 I imagine you put some spectacles on and get a glass of wine.

Speaker 79 Well, I put spectacles on because I need to wear spectacles.

Speaker 63 That is the thing.

Speaker 94 You've not seen them publicly, but they only, like, I mean,

Speaker 171 we've just increased the font size on the audio queue, but eventually that will run out and I will have to unleash my glasses. I only got glasses in the last year,

Speaker 171 and I have for some reason stumbled on wireframe glasses which are either Swedish architect or Nazi bad guy in Race of the Lost Ark.

Speaker 130 That's somewhere between those two looks.

Speaker 171 But no,

Speaker 171 there's a mirrorless Rubicon, which is South African wine, which is my choice of

Speaker 171 writing wine. It's not too expensive, you know.
And by two glasses in, the stuff is kind of flowing.

Speaker 171 And then on the fourth glass, I'm just

Speaker 171 so happy with how good it was an hour earlier and God I used to be so funny then and the fifth glass is like I really should I've really got there's nothing good happening here so I find because I don't know if you're like there's only a small window of useful time when you're writing stuff I think yeah yeah creatively you can create for a couple of hours really usefully so I time that with wine Yeah, you have a little treat alongside it.

Speaker 171 Because then you have to react off something as well if you're sitting sitting on your own, just to knock yourself slightly off your axis with a little bit of, you know, get a little bit of a buzz and then get enough to drink.

Speaker 155 I honestly recommend it. It's a great thing.

Speaker 122 We can see my next show as we go,

Speaker 94 you don't

Speaker 171 perform it drunk.

Speaker 155 But it just for the.

Speaker 136 Well, if you write it, if you write it drunk, I think you're going to have to have performing wine as well.

Speaker 53 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 94 Never thought of performing wine.

Speaker 69 Performing wine.

Speaker 171 Level of comfort that even I didn't think to bring to it.

Speaker 119 Do you believe in

Speaker 123 beer then wine feeling fine, wine then beer, old deer?

Speaker 117 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 51 You do?

Speaker 176 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is usually like I'll just go out of bed and save that till later.
Yeah. Have a few beers and then.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 176 About ten. And then

Speaker 148 because you are a rapper, do you feel like you have to agree with everything that rhymes?

Speaker 51 Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 159 Because if someone posts you with a rhyme like that, you have to believe it.

Speaker 117 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 122 Oh, that was just me saying the rhyme, by the way. I wasn't trying to start a battle.

Speaker 2 No, no, that's cool, that's cool, that's cool.

Speaker 73 If you do want to battle it anytime, you can.

Speaker 77 It's fine.

Speaker 122 But that's the only rhyme I know. So whatever you say to me, I'll just say wine then beer it?

Speaker 150 And those other rhymes.

Speaker 159 You know, whoever smelt it dealt it.

Speaker 177 Yeah.

Speaker 176 That's a big one. That's one of the few that I don't.
That's one of the only rhymes that I don't believe in.

Speaker 148 Yeah, yeah, that, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 55 Because it's rubbish, right? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 Well, it's just when you.

Speaker 47 No one has ever farted and then gone, oh, who did that?

Speaker 105 And then drawn attention to it.

Speaker 106 No one's ever done that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's never the moment.

Speaker 9 That would be such a stupid move.

Speaker 117 Yeah, that's a good one. Does everyone go, you

Speaker 71 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 154 You obviously did that.

Speaker 154 You did it.

Speaker 47 But then also, what is equally stupid is whoever did the rhyme did the crime.

Speaker 72 Because you just did a rhyme.

Speaker 162 So what the hell is that?

Speaker 47 It should be whoever did the rhyme did a fart.

Speaker 159 And then it's like, okay, yeah, good point.

Speaker 169 Because I guess you're not rhyming. But I did rhyme a minute ago and I said whoever smelt it dealt it.

Speaker 15 That would be a great. I'd love to go and do a rap battle one day and just do those rhymes back to those.

Speaker 119 That's what said to me.

Speaker 169 Yeah. Just pointed them.
Yeah.

Speaker 148 I might just go to the rap battle and not even do a point at them and say, you've this guy farted

Speaker 159 and just say that every time.

Speaker 66 Beans beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot. Yeah.

Speaker 13 That was true.

Speaker 165 You really are

Speaker 71 like a battle rapper.

Speaker 168 Yeah, right.

Speaker 105 I don't want to get into it. We all feel like

Speaker 180 a bit on edge.

Speaker 77 We're in the crossfight, eight mile.

Speaker 53 Here it is.

Speaker 144 That would be a better version of eight mile.

Speaker 52 Have you done rap battles before?

Speaker 51 Only with friends.

Speaker 176 Only with your mattress. I used to be friends before I beat them.

Speaker 53 Yeah, destroyed them.

Speaker 51 No, I did.

Speaker 176 When I was much younger, when I was in primary school, that used to happen every lunchtime.

Speaker 52 Oh, cool.

Speaker 176 But that was just obviously stupid stuff. No, I haven't.

Speaker 176 Me and my friend talked about doing it together

Speaker 176 as a double act.

Speaker 169 But I don't know, as soon as you start making any sort of noise about what you're doing, you have, I don't know, too much to lose.

Speaker 51 But yeah, you know, if anyone ever wrote anything for me, I'd have to write something back.

Speaker 176 So that's just.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 170 Is there anyone in particular who you would like to have a map battle with?

Speaker 176 Do you know? I'd actually like to have a rap battle with my old English teacher. Yes.

Speaker 176 Because he was a poetry wizard.

Speaker 150 Ah. And I reckon that it would be intense.

Speaker 176 Because I've got a lot of stuff on him.

Speaker 165 He's also got a lot of stuff on me, you know.

Speaker 169 Yeah.

Speaker 176 But I've probably got more on him.

Speaker 76 Do you want to call him out now? Do you want to use this as a platform to call him out?

Speaker 52 No, I don't.

Speaker 71 Do you know what? No, because I think he might actually beat me.

Speaker 13 I don't. I actually don't.
This guy.

Speaker 165 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 169 Mark Grist.

Speaker 63 Oh, yeah, that did.

Speaker 13 It has happened, hasn't it?

Speaker 183 That was Blizzard.

Speaker 176 Blizzard battled Mark Grist. That was a long time ago.

Speaker 148 Mark Grist going around. Everyone thought it was really great.

Speaker 169 I watch it back now, and I'm like, Mark Grist ain't that tough.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, no,

Speaker 3 he didn't really have it.

Speaker 176 At the time, he did, because I was like, oh god, I'm 14 and there's a teacher of rat battling.

Speaker 143 That was pre-Brexit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 117 Do you know how?

Speaker 165 Now I watch it and I'm like, fuck it, what's your game?

Speaker 71 I know who I'd rap battle.

Speaker 51 Yeah? Romash Ranger Nathan.

Speaker 105 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 159 We can organize it.

Speaker 63 I think he's rusty as well. He's been out.

Speaker 51 But if he thinks he's wicked, I'd annihilate him.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 176 I might text him actually after this and tell him that it's on.

Speaker 150 Actually, you text him and tell him that I'm gonna give him

Speaker 139 with pleasure.

Speaker 51 Yeah, fuck that guy.

Speaker 105 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I guess he tells us about hip-hop.

Speaker 148 I'm still pro curly fries.

Speaker 87 Yeah, lovely.

Speaker 49 You don't see them.

Speaker 107 I'm trying to think where I've just seen them.

Speaker 6 It's complete now. They're starting to kind of like, yeah.

Speaker 184 I can't recall having curly fries.

Speaker 150 Wow. You've never had them.

Speaker 11 There's a place in Hammersmith Grove.

Speaker 184 I'm trying to think where I may have had curly fries.

Speaker 81 I can't think.

Speaker 148 I don't know why they're not on every menu that has chips.

Speaker 42 The sweet potato fries are big now. I don't know why curly fries aren't available.

Speaker 2 Curly fries are better.

Speaker 86 I would choose curly fries over sweet potato fries in a heartbeat.

Speaker 143 In a heartbeat.

Speaker 10 So they've always got like occasion seasoning on them.

Speaker 58 Seasoning's great.

Speaker 169 So great.

Speaker 150 Oh, mama mia.

Speaker 71 Are they curly as in just curly, as in a chip that's curved?

Speaker 13 It's like a spring.

Speaker 53 No, they're spirals.

Speaker 154 They're coiled like a spring.

Speaker 55 Yeah, they're coiled like a spring.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 42 So you get different textures.

Speaker 184 I've never seen that.

Speaker 37 It's crispy on the air.

Speaker 166 I've never seen it. Hold on.

Speaker 53 Where do you eat?

Speaker 63 I've never seen a curly fry.

Speaker 184 I've never seen a curly fry.

Speaker 71 Yeah, where do you eat that?

Speaker 63 Are you even know that was a curly friend before you.

Speaker 185 No!

Speaker 152 We are getting exclusives on this podcast.

Speaker 163 Krishna Guru Berthy has never seen a curly fry before.

Speaker 75 I've just heard about a curly fry for the first time.

Speaker 71 We're telling Krishna the news.

Speaker 82 Well, you must have not been in the news game that day, Krishna.

Speaker 186 When they got curly fries. You must have been out.

Speaker 53 Edwards was in that day.

Speaker 185 He knows all about girls.

Speaker 79 He's all over curly fries.

Speaker 184 No, seriously, where did you get a a curly fry well you can get well this is a good question

Speaker 95 you can buy them uh and take them home so they're then the supermarkets in bags oh i see you but you can also get them in uh there's some like i would say there's a lot of um

Speaker 86 places that are like you know like family uh pub places that have like maybe soft play areas and stuff would have that have it as an item on the menu like why an upgrade to curly fries why don't you have curly fries

Speaker 143 50p extra or whatever

Speaker 184 have some curly fries okay do they have like periperi salt on them or something like that uh kind of a spicy cake

Speaker 163 Here is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

Speaker 42 I'm about to show Krishnan Guru Murthy a picture of a curly fry.

Speaker 71 Oh, okay, here we go.

Speaker 45 That's what we're talking about.

Speaker 59 Oh, that doesn't look nice.

Speaker 140 The first time you've seen it.

Speaker 99 First time you've seen a curly fry.

Speaker 185 That is a particularly long curly fry.

Speaker 130 That's not long.

Speaker 63 That is a big one.

Speaker 95 That's a really long one.

Speaker 77 That's the size of a jugbo sausage, yeah.

Speaker 37 And thank you very much, everyone who has tweeted Krishnan Guru Murthy since this episode went out. Yep, saying, What about these ones?

Speaker 79 What about these ones?

Speaker 37 And people still do it. It's really funny.

Speaker 37 I really love seeing that people are only listening to it for the first time and tweeting him out in the blue, saying, What about these ones? And hopefully, this will reignite that.

Speaker 37 Tweet Krishnan Guru Murthy with a picture of Curly Fry, say, What about these ones?

Speaker 83 Yes, yes, please.

Speaker 129 Ah, some great, great revelations there.

Speaker 48 Uh, you know, what I love just as much as revelations, right?

Speaker 170 It's anecdotes.

Speaker 149 I love Riverton stories.

Speaker 37 We are the Parkinson and Jonathan Ross of Foodbased Podcasts.

Speaker 121 That is correct.

Speaker 37 We get out the good anecdotes.

Speaker 54 And Graeme Norton. Shout out to Graeme Norton.

Speaker 41 Yeah. Benito Graeme Norton.

Speaker 37 So, Graeme Norton, Jonathan Ross, and Michael Parkinson. Yes.
All mixed up.

Speaker 39 So

Speaker 39 we've had some great anecdotes on the Off Menu podcast.

Speaker 37 Not least of all from Jamie Dimitri, Tom Allen, and Phil Wang.

Speaker 39 Oh, let's have a listen.

Speaker 79 I've got a

Speaker 156 question for you about something that I know you've eaten and that I've seen you eat.

Speaker 159 I wanted to know what it was like.

Speaker 41 James has been watching you for many weeks.

Speaker 58 Yes.

Speaker 145 What was the marmalade sandwich like in Paddington 2?

Speaker 95 Oh, right. Okay.

Speaker 71 Well,

Speaker 3 you made it look really nice. Do you know what? It was...

Speaker 70 You've eaten a Paddington sandwich.

Speaker 188 It's surprisingly phenomenal.

Speaker 3 I mean, they were... You actually have marmalade in it?

Speaker 152 Yeah.

Speaker 75 So you're in a proper marmalade sandwich, weren't you?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 77 I tell you what, it was such a relief as well because,

Speaker 188 I mean, by the way, for any listeners you won't know I'm in Paddington because I'm in it for one second but I played a prisoner in that and there's scene where so the prisoners are livid because they have to eat gruel all the time

Speaker 188 and I mean as authentic as they wanted to make the marmalade delicious they made the gruel disgusting.

Speaker 188 It was like a quinoa a cold sludgy quinoa porridge with like bits that you couldn't identify in it.

Speaker 70 But we had to eat it because there were like loads of close-ups where they all they wanted to get was like you eating the food.

Speaker 188 And there's a few scenes where I'm sat next to Paddington.

Speaker 122 I got a two-shot with Paddington.

Speaker 64 But yeah, so the gruel was like disgusting.

Speaker 188 And then the scene comes where Paddington makes everyone's sandwiches and they're fucking nice.

Speaker 188 Can we swear on this? Yeah.

Speaker 67 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 165 I mean, it was

Speaker 53 perfect marmalade.

Speaker 95 I'm actually really happy to hear this.

Speaker 77 A certain like.

Speaker 159 That the Paddington sandwiches are as nice as you can.

Speaker 101 James, I'm just, I've got a star.

Speaker 53 I'm calling bullshit on this.

Speaker 99 I know I'm in trouble. Wait, wait.

Speaker 138 This is is such a massive turnaround for you.

Speaker 76 For years, James refused to watch the Paddington films.

Speaker 119 Oh, really?

Speaker 53 Well, the first one.

Speaker 127 And then, because he thought the bear was weird and creepy.

Speaker 53 Shifty and creepy. Shifty and creepy.
Shifty isn't creepy. And I was like, mate, you've got to watch Paddington.

Speaker 10 It's a fucking brilliant film.

Speaker 103 He's like, no, absolutely not.

Speaker 139 It's shifty and creepy.

Speaker 165 I hate that bear.

Speaker 68 Yeah. That's what I said.

Speaker 92 And

Speaker 166 I'll stand by it.

Speaker 138 You don't stand by it?

Speaker 103 Because then you went and watched. Have you seen the first one?

Speaker 41 Shifty and creepy.

Speaker 143 I watched both of them in one day over Christmas and I loved them.

Speaker 94 They were so beautiful.

Speaker 63 funny.

Speaker 91 It was perfect film. It was amazing.

Speaker 9 Yeah, the second one, especially.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 99 Oh, I love it so much.

Speaker 98 Every single bit in it was amazing.

Speaker 3 I got over the fact that the bear is the creepiest thing in the world.

Speaker 126 Where's the shift? Where's the shiftiness?

Speaker 121 The shifty eyes.

Speaker 133 His eyes are all shifty.

Speaker 92 His eyes are all shifty.

Speaker 167 He is a very magical bear.

Speaker 94 He's all shifty, and he's a very creepy.

Speaker 103 So I'm just going to call bullshit on this.

Speaker 42 You can't come out repping for Paddington suddenly.

Speaker 86 Well, I can.

Speaker 130 Hey, this is a good

Speaker 6 thing to do in this day and age. So many people now refusing to change their opinions and

Speaker 3 arguing with each other.

Speaker 77 I'm just showing people you can do a turnaround short.

Speaker 63 Oh sure.

Speaker 154 People will criticise you for changing your opinions, but you know, I think I'm right now.

Speaker 99 I think that those Paddington films are magical and wonderful.

Speaker 6 And I also think I was right to initially think the bear was shifty and creepy.

Speaker 22 I'm 17 years old.

Speaker 22 I've taken the day off school because I've told the school I'm going to go and look at university in Exeter.

Speaker 22 What I'm actually doing is I'm truanting with my next door neighbours Jean and Dennis and my mum and dad.

Speaker 165 Hollow?

Speaker 156 Gene and Dennis? Yes.

Speaker 57 How old are they?

Speaker 22 About 90 at the moment.

Speaker 41 90?

Speaker 41 Jeannie's 90.

Speaker 22 Dennis is 90, Gene is bigger than 20 years ago. When you were 70,

Speaker 14 you were truanting.

Speaker 11 How old were they at the time?

Speaker 57 Early 70s?

Speaker 121 You were truanting with a couple in their elderly 70s.

Speaker 22 60s, 70s, yeah.

Speaker 22 Gene and Dennis. Gene and Dennis from the star.

Speaker 180 Yeah.

Speaker 22 What identity was in Venice?

Speaker 165 I think you've got...

Speaker 46 You've got to know what details in the stories need expanded on.

Speaker 86 Aren't as normal as you think.

Speaker 48 I was truanting with my neighbours, Gene and Dennis.

Speaker 174 I don't think that's truanting.

Speaker 22 What is it?

Speaker 121 Well, going away with some responsible adults.

Speaker 71 Okay, fine. Yeah.

Speaker 165 I guess if you were.

Speaker 84 I mean, were they like, you know, join a bunk off?

Speaker 169 That's bunk off school.

Speaker 22 They came around the school gate.

Speaker 22 No,

Speaker 22 it was arranged with my mum and dad, who were coming as well.

Speaker 15 So they were there as well?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they were also part of the school.

Speaker 15 So

Speaker 60 why did you lie to the school?

Speaker 22 Because I was embarrassed to say, he's have a day off so I can go out to lunch.

Speaker 22 So I said,

Speaker 22 I'm going to go to Exeter University to have a look round on the open day. Knowing full well I had no intention of going all that way to university.

Speaker 22 I didn't even want to go to university by that point. But I was prepared to use it.

Speaker 22 I never went to university.

Speaker 143 So the four gang?

Speaker 22 There's five of us. Yep, Jean Dennis, mum, dad, me.

Speaker 22 The Truance. The Truance.

Speaker 81 The Truance.

Speaker 22 Absconding, not only from the school, but from the country.

Speaker 150 From the country?

Speaker 22 Because we were going to France.

Speaker 52 We got up very early.

Speaker 190 We got in the car.

Speaker 22 I think my dad may have borrowed a car at this point from his friend.

Speaker 22 So it's a slightly bigger. We went down, we got the early ferry

Speaker 22 on which we had a croissant, which to me at this point was extremely...

Speaker 22 one might say impossibly glamorous.

Speaker 119 Then we arrived in Calais, right?

Speaker 22 We then went to a

Speaker 22 supermarche.

Speaker 91 What a truant day. That's the best.

Speaker 63 Truanting.

Speaker 75 For the most part.

Speaker 40 Most people do truant.

Speaker 170 They're like, you know, they go down a car park and throw rocks at cars and stuff.

Speaker 82 Or like they hang around smoking with their mates.

Speaker 97 You guys went to France with Gene and Jennis.

Speaker 64 You learned the word super marche.

Speaker 66 You did more schoolwork on your truant day than you would have done with it.

Speaker 41 I wasn't even doing A-level French.

Speaker 189 Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 22 Very, very dedicated.

Speaker 22 We went to the Supermarche, we stocked up on French produce,

Speaker 22 wines,

Speaker 22 and then we went for lunch at a restaurant, which I restaurant, which I believe still stands called La Chanel,

Speaker 22 the Channel,

Speaker 71 right on the harbour side on France,

Speaker 75 on Calais.

Speaker 22 A Calais? Dons la Calais.

Speaker 14 We were Trouanting. We Troant.

Speaker 53 The restaurant.

Speaker 95 Jeanne and Denis.

Speaker 22 Do you know what? Dennis has only got one in. So he is Denis.
He is Denis.

Speaker 183 And

Speaker 22 we went in there, right?

Speaker 22 Dennis speaks a bit of French because he went motorbiking around France after the end of the Second World War. Of course, he did.

Speaker 82 A little victory lap.

Speaker 185 I'm picturing that.

Speaker 53 On a motorbike.

Speaker 22 And so he speaks a bit French.

Speaker 183 And we went in there.

Speaker 22 And it was a classically formal French restaurant, restaurant. Have you ever been to one like that, James? I think you have, because I think your parents went to France.

Speaker 154 A really formal one.

Speaker 130 I don't think I have been to a really formal French restaurant.

Speaker 154 Ed Gamble, have you been?

Speaker 7 I feel like I have been.

Speaker 3 They're sort of like high-back chairs,

Speaker 22 very crisp white linen, a great formality of the service, which is an easy elegance about it. Yeah.
Sit down in the window.

Speaker 22 I didn't know what to make of it. I was like, I've never been in a restaurant like this before.

Speaker 22 An upholstered chair like it, I'd never been in it.

Speaker 47 And then your teacher stormed in, Tom Allen!

Speaker 108 Get back into class!

Speaker 185 I can't believe this!

Speaker 53 I'm after the ferry here.

Speaker 185 We followed you!

Speaker 111 Hide your honey with your mouth!

Speaker 22 And I was dragged back.

Speaker 165 No.

Speaker 22 Dennis ordered a Givestra Mina.

Speaker 150 Because

Speaker 22 it's an Alsace wine. And it's French, not Gevestra Meine.

Speaker 153 Because Alsace, of course, very contentious area.

Speaker 55 If you know the Second World War.

Speaker 111 And.

Speaker 120 Which Dennis did, of course.

Speaker 130 Which Dennis did.

Speaker 22 And

Speaker 22 Givestra Minet, delicious wine.

Speaker 22 And I was ordered the Fruit de Mer. Have you ever had the Fruit de Mer?

Speaker 120 Fruits of the Sea, if you have a merry merit. Fruits of the Sea.
If you will.

Speaker 14 Seafood. Seafood.

Speaker 22 If you want to be unbearably plebeian.

Speaker 39 I'm just for our listener who might not have had Fruit de Mer before.

Speaker 81 Fruit de Mer.

Speaker 135 Tom had Fruit de Mer at Jean and Denis when he was renting from École.

Speaker 113 I sent back my first ever bottle of wine in New York at a restaurant.

Speaker 99 Yeah, he sent back.

Speaker 144 Sat

Speaker 144 it was.

Speaker 137 I don't think I've ever met anyone who sent a bottle back apart from my dad and I assume that was just him being difficult.

Speaker 89 I think I was being difficult because it was an expensive bottle of wine.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 113 Although because it was at a restaurant, it might have retailed for like $30 and they pumped it up to $150 or whatever.

Speaker 74 And

Speaker 110 it was a cigar, it was

Speaker 74 a hermitage.

Speaker 113 And I tasted it and I thought,

Speaker 172 it'll probably mellow out. And I thought, yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 99 So you didn't do it at that stage.

Speaker 61 You didn't do it at the taste stage.

Speaker 74 Yeah, I know, which I feel bad about.

Speaker 113 But with each sip, it didn't get better. It just kept being really sour

Speaker 74 around the mouth.

Speaker 115 Yeah. Where I guess it would.

Speaker 74 And

Speaker 113 eventually I said to the others, are you enjoying this? And they said, I don't love it.

Speaker 150 So I thought,

Speaker 113 I'm going to do it. I'm going to say this is corked.

Speaker 139 At this point.

Speaker 46 At this point, how are you feeling physically when

Speaker 10 you decided you were going to do it?

Speaker 113 I couldn't feel my fingers.

Speaker 90 Yeah, I was terrified because it's quite a fancy restaurant.

Speaker 74 And

Speaker 113 so the waitress came back and I said, Sorry, I think this might be corked.

Speaker 141 My heart is like,

Speaker 133 and she goes, oh, really?

Speaker 113 Okay, I'll just go get our sommelier.

Speaker 185 And the big boy

Speaker 61 slides down his fireman's pole into the water.

Speaker 115 That was scary.

Speaker 172 And I was like, oh, yeah, cool.

Speaker 40 You bring that piece of shit.

Speaker 172 and so she goes off for the bottle and I see it in the corner he she gives it to him and he takes a whiff

Speaker 74 I can see all this he can't see me he's twitting his mustache the smelly hair he gives the bottle a whiff and he makes a sort of wince face which and now the wince I can't tell if it's ooh that is bad or this guy doesn't know what he's talking about

Speaker 113 because that's the same wince it's the same face classically that is exactly the same wince it is a disgust it's the same emotion and so then he comes around and I see, and just behind our table, he gets himself a glass and he pauses a little bit.

Speaker 191 On his drink.

Speaker 172 And he takes a sip.

Speaker 113 And he comes over and he leans to me.

Speaker 74 And I'm just losing my mind.

Speaker 74 And he says, um, this isn't corked.

Speaker 74 And now I'm in flight of flight, fight of flight.

Speaker 55 Oh, God.

Speaker 165 Either I go, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 113 I'll give you a kiss on the head.

Speaker 74 Please don't kill me.

Speaker 52 Or

Speaker 115 double down. And so I double down.

Speaker 169 Wow.

Speaker 41 And I go, really?

Speaker 79 It tastes very acrid.

Speaker 165 I thought, I'll pick a different word.

Speaker 78 I'll pick a different word for sour.

Speaker 104 Yes, it tastes that source.

Speaker 53 Sour.

Speaker 47 Read the dictionary familiar twin.

Speaker 141 And he goes, that's quite,

Speaker 76 it's got a brown, that's a seera taste.

Speaker 83 And then he said, it's actually rather lovely.

Speaker 165 Which I think was his...

Speaker 141 That was

Speaker 152 his

Speaker 141 colour blue.

Speaker 71 Yeah, I think.

Speaker 141 And I said, I don't know.

Speaker 74 And he said, well, if I get you another bottle, it'll probably taste the same.

Speaker 191 And so I said, we'll get something else then.

Speaker 87 And so I got a bottle of

Speaker 189 Chateau Neuf de Pap, because you can't go wrong, really.

Speaker 191 And he said, okay, lovely, great. And he got the Chateau Neuf de Pap and I tried it.

Speaker 75 And he was like, that okay?

Speaker 99 And it was actually still a bit sour, but I said, yeah, that'll be fine.

Speaker 83 Were you like also eating like sour Skittles?

Speaker 46 I was brushing my teeth.

Speaker 74 I was brushing my teeth at the the time.

Speaker 141 I don't know if that changes anything.

Speaker 37 Still so proud of Phil for sending that wine back. I still would never do that.

Speaker 6 I respect that man so much.

Speaker 58 He's an icon to me.

Speaker 45 He really is. That guy's an icon.

Speaker 48 Ed, I'm having so much fun listening to all of these.

Speaker 47 Such happy memories for me.

Speaker 83 All of these.

Speaker 37 Well, they may be happy memories, but my favourite part of the Off-Menu podcast is when you're not happy.

Speaker 39 Huh?

Speaker 37 Because people come in here and deliberately wind you up.

Speaker 142 I know.

Speaker 37 I love it, James.

Speaker 47 Please, I hope you're not about to play clips from Kevin Godlerman, Jess Phillips, Jay-Z-May Cooper, Joe Lyson, and Victoria Collin Mesho.

Speaker 37 I am indeed.

Speaker 149 They really, really wound you up and I loved every second of it.

Speaker 39 Let's hear it.

Speaker 192 Which I've got a bones pick with you about. There we go.
Because there were lots of people. I went to New York recently for a family holiday at Green Here.

Speaker 192 And James, very kindly, among a group of friends, recommended lots of places to eat.

Speaker 192 So I put them all together. I was really pleased with my skills because I put them all together in one document and I had a huge list of recommendations.

Speaker 192 And I felt really organized and I had that with the passport and all the flight details. Get to the airport, go to check-in, hadn't done those ester forms, so couldn't

Speaker 192 go to America.

Speaker 104 So I had, I don't know, this is a bones of pick with meat.

Speaker 192 Yes, it is because no one, everyone recommended, oh, go to this vegan diner, eat these noodles.

Speaker 192 No No one said you can't get into the fucking country to eat the food if you haven't done the basic vegan.

Speaker 131 It can't be the food recommendations.

Speaker 98 I didn't go, oh, by the way, you also want to get on this flight.

Speaker 101 Before you said

Speaker 192 novels, any of it, you go, you have done your estimate.

Speaker 77 Yeah, but you've not asked them for recommendations about how to get into America.

Speaker 192 The note of being in the country to eat the food is, can I get into the country?

Speaker 186 You're not asking me to say that.

Speaker 98 I thought they've been patronising of me.

Speaker 91 By the way, Terry, I've organised yourself.

Speaker 192 Never be scared of patronising me because you're probably pointing out something I've overlooked.

Speaker 192 We missed our flight.

Speaker 192 I was

Speaker 107 dressing it at me.

Speaker 192 I should have rang you and said, James, we've just missed our flight. So thanks for the diner recommendation.

Speaker 18 But we've missed our flight.

Speaker 192 I mean, all that advice and not one

Speaker 53 of it was funny.

Speaker 63 But what did you ask for? What are you asking for? What did you ask?

Speaker 192 I did ask for food recommendations.

Speaker 98 Can I have some food recommendations.

Speaker 192 Yes, and if they didn't assume that I knew, because I had been to America before,

Speaker 63 but I forgot. I was going to say, you've never used it.
You've got to go to all these places.

Speaker 9 Oh, a little tip as well.

Speaker 130 Don't eat your Esther.

Speaker 75 I hope you've got that.

Speaker 192 Well, if you'd said that, you'd have done it unpatronisingly, with humour, and I would have got the information.

Speaker 98 I actually assumed you would have done it.

Speaker 68 Okay, I...

Speaker 192 Yeah, everyone assumed that. And I had to.

Speaker 48 I have a high opinion of you.

Speaker 194 Well, lower it.

Speaker 67 You've definitely been to America before.

Speaker 126 You've worked in America before.

Speaker 185 Yeah, it's worked, but.

Speaker 192 But because I worked there, I think someone else filled the forms before.

Speaker 40 You would have had a visa if you had a worked information.

Speaker 103 Someone else did it.

Speaker 192 A grown-up filled in the form.

Speaker 192 I hate forms, Ed.

Speaker 60 But that's an online, the Esther thing is so easy to fill in. Oh, is it?

Speaker 53 It's so easy.

Speaker 192 You've catching me at the airport having a panic attack with crying children.

Speaker 101 Are we not going on holiday anymore, mummy?

Speaker 192 It seems not, no.

Speaker 78 Because James Acaster.

Speaker 104 Because James fucking Acaster told us where to get the best Knickerpocker glory,

Speaker 96 but we can't get into the country.

Speaker 19 I mean, I would always have cheese for

Speaker 53 God.

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 78 Fuck you, Jess.

Speaker 91 Fuck you.

Speaker 71 It's finally happened.

Speaker 166 The first person.

Speaker 106 Someone's finally done it.

Speaker 60 I'm so on board with it.

Speaker 108 Oh, God.

Speaker 196 Oh,

Speaker 196 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 31 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 99 That came out of nowhere.

Speaker 97 There were so many warning signs along the way.

Speaker 65 Breakfast for dinner, sucking a flannel, so much stuff that should have tipped me off that the cheese was coming round the bend and I didn't see it coming.

Speaker 97 I'm annoyed in myself that I didn't see this coming.

Speaker 53 Oh, God.

Speaker 111 Is that your one of that?

Speaker 152 Take us through the cheeses you'd like on your cheese board, please, Jess.

Speaker 38 Right. Has no one ever said that before?

Speaker 53 No, I'm so

Speaker 85 just turned his microphone around.

Speaker 87 I can't speak into it.

Speaker 197 I mean, you've got to have like a blue, a hard cheese, a soft cheese.

Speaker 102 I'd say a sheep's cheese and a goat's.

Speaker 197 Lovely. It's what I'd go for.
And I would always, you know, I really like those crackers that have like sort of cherries in them or

Speaker 75 like the fruits

Speaker 102 that are really like brittle. Yeah.
I love that. They're really good.
I love those.

Speaker 198 So yeah, I'd go for that.

Speaker 170 James?

Speaker 65 Well, thanks for coming in, Jess.

Speaker 92 Your book is available, True Power.

Speaker 106 Everyone go and buy that.

Speaker 63 Jesus.

Speaker 150 Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 31 I love that.

Speaker 170 Wait, what do you want for dessert? What's your dessert?

Speaker 49 It's.

Speaker 194 You're going to be so cross.

Speaker 199 A pizza hut salad with only croutons,

Speaker 51 bacon bits.

Speaker 91 Let her finish. No!

Speaker 138 Let, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Speaker 11 Please let Daisy finish.

Speaker 96 this is...

Speaker 64 This is the best thing that's ever happened on this podcast.

Speaker 136 Please let it play out.

Speaker 162 A pizza hot salad with just the croutons, the bacon bits, the cubes of beetroot and the honey and mustard dressing.

Speaker 138 Lovely. A bit of sweetness from the honey.

Speaker 7 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 202 Duff. But 70% croutons.

Speaker 64 70% croutons.

Speaker 17 When did you decide on this?

Speaker 98 Do you know all the time on your way here in the car you're going to say this shit?

Speaker 33 Lining that up as your dessert.

Speaker 63 It's 70% croutons, right?

Speaker 17 Part of you justifies that as a dessert.

Speaker 33 How are you even justifying this?

Speaker 199 I just love a pizza hot salad.

Speaker 69 Well, I'll put it on you.

Speaker 112 Have it as your starter.

Speaker 140 I don't want it as my starter, as my dessert.

Speaker 125 You can't have it as your dessert.

Speaker 17 You can if you can because you get the

Speaker 201 go up as many as you type as many times as you like salad bowl.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 201 And for my dessert, I'll always go up at the end of my pizza.

Speaker 58 You should be banned from pizza.

Speaker 201 And order the

Speaker 37 salad is refreshing, isn't it?

Speaker 45 So it just, you know, you've had.

Speaker 140 Wow, the croutons.

Speaker 109 He doesn't even believe what he's saying.

Speaker 162 Bacon bits, yeah.

Speaker 201 I suppose it's a refreshing under the honey mustard dressing.

Speaker 138 Yeah, lovely. And bit of sweetness from the honey.

Speaker 73 You've said that before.

Speaker 98 You said bit of sweetness under the honey.

Speaker 90 That is not good enough.

Speaker 94 That makes it a dessert.

Speaker 204 It does not make it a dessert. You know it.
You don't even believe believe what you're saying, though.

Speaker 92 I do. It sounds like a lovely date.

Speaker 63 You do not believe what you're saying. Cleanses the palate.

Speaker 82 You're like Piers Morgan.

Speaker 97 You're no better than Piers Morgan right now, Ed.

Speaker 97 You're just deliberately being controversial and trolling me.

Speaker 82 And Daisy, oh my god.

Speaker 91 Well, technically, this is a hot buffet salad with bacon in it.

Speaker 122 Daisy's whole meal is having a dessert because she's eating with a spoon.

Speaker 107 Yeah, she's eating it all with a

Speaker 47 big old china spoon.

Speaker 105 Oh,

Speaker 6 I cannot believe this.

Speaker 120 Oh, that's my favourite dessert ever, aren't they?

Speaker 159 It's not your favourite dessert ever.

Speaker 72 A bacon salad.

Speaker 12 A bacon salad.

Speaker 140 No, it's mainly crude.

Speaker 162 Actually, the bacon bits are not even actual bacon bits.

Speaker 68 No, they're not.

Speaker 167 I don't know. Yeah, they are.

Speaker 121 The bacon bits are vegan.

Speaker 177 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Lovely.

Speaker 66 Texture, there's texture there.

Speaker 14 There's sweetness from the honey.

Speaker 47 Is there not one pudding that you like that you could have chosen?

Speaker 86 Is that not like a pudding that you've had before that you thought you're flavourless?

Speaker 152 You're having a goddamn salad, mate.

Speaker 91 You always talk about flavour.

Speaker 12 Oh, that's what jumps to mind as soon as I think of flavour.

Speaker 112 It's a fucking salad

Speaker 6 with mainly croutons in it.

Speaker 133 Oh, flavour town.

Speaker 130 I just love flavour.

Speaker 72 These still my jumping taste buds at this bread salad I'm eating.

Speaker 93 I love the idea that guests are now just coming on to troll you, James.

Speaker 31 Absolutely insane.

Speaker 47 Absolutely bananas.

Speaker 106 This is gonna what a life.

Speaker 79 This is gonna break the internet. I can't wait.

Speaker 200 Has this upset you more than the pigs killing themselves?

Speaker 106 Yeah, I would rather watch a swarm of pigs swimming around in a pool, slitting their own throats, than you eating your bread salad and calling it a dessert.

Speaker 86 I would rather watch Chucky have the news of his mum's death brokered to him again than watch you go up to the Peter Hutt buffet in plain sight and claim that you'll go and get your pudding

Speaker 121 that's what I would rather happened okay James let's read the order back

Speaker 56 I've decided

Speaker 205 it's a bowl of special K with oakly barista milk

Speaker 71 what the what in

Speaker 187 God's name special K

Speaker 95 Oakley barista milk bowl of cereal no sugar what

Speaker 72 the fuck is the matter with you how can can you have a Krispy Krem burger and then your dessert is just a bowl of cereal?

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I fucking love cereal, James.

Speaker 98 I've got nothing against cereal whatsoever, but the fact that it's your dream dessert is a bowl of special K- Also, no sugar, also, no sugar, no sugar, no sugar.

Speaker 48 Even if it was just a cereal round, special K I'd be kicking off.

Speaker 90 That's your favourite cereal. There's a bowl of special K.

Speaker 75 Well, the others.

Speaker 143 Is it even the berries special K? Nope.

Speaker 40 It's just plain special.

Speaker 161 And the other two choices were Weetabix or Bran Flakes.

Speaker 161 You got the brand flakes.

Speaker 38 Good God.

Speaker 22 Good God.

Speaker 161 I was really humming in our because currently I'm doing bran flakes of my cereal of choice just because I'm trying to be a bit healthier.

Speaker 179 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 161 But I've actually fallen deeply in love with brown flakes.

Speaker 161 So brown flakes will be a bit more difficult.

Speaker 49 So you wouldn't want that as a dessert, would you? No, no, no.

Speaker 47 Get rid of the thing that you're deeply in love with and choose the special K.

Speaker 143 Well, no, Special K feels like a treat.

Speaker 169 Right, well that's what it is.

Speaker 15 Because it's a treat and it pairs very well with a Gavi.

Speaker 183 It does pair well with a Gavi.

Speaker 49 How is that a treat?

Speaker 56 It's so nice. I love cereal.

Speaker 150 You've just had a burger donut.

Speaker 111 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 49 That's the point.

Speaker 131 And now a little treat, some special K for myself.

Speaker 143 Yeah, it's indulgence.

Speaker 161 It's rehydrating because it's all of the lovely milk. And that's a key part of it as well.

Speaker 205 It's the Oatley Barista edition milk, which is posh.

Speaker 77 That's a posh milk.

Speaker 56 It's hard to find.

Speaker 84 Sounds delicious. Fine.

Speaker 143 Fine, you've got some posh milk

Speaker 48 on your appalling cereal choice.

Speaker 143 Why is special care appalling?

Speaker 48 Look, I've gone through special care phases before, but not because I like it, just because I'm trying to be a good boy.

Speaker 188 I should clarify: by special care, I do mean ketamine.

Speaker 61 Apologies, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 143 Fine.

Speaker 98 But the milk is now an odd choice, but like, fair enough.

Speaker 77 What does that go better with an almond milk?

Speaker 185 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really strange.

Speaker 11 I love it.

Speaker 122 I honestly think that people are deliberately trolling drones now, and I'm here for it.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 185 No, it's not. I'm being...

Speaker 187 Started emailing people before they come on, going, For a laugh, don't choose a pudding.

Speaker 146 No. And if you can even tease early on,

Speaker 83 I mean, the fact that you've come on here said you used to eat melted bowls of chocolate, then

Speaker 50 put a burger inside a donut.

Speaker 143 So absolutely, just have me go in the hallway.

Speaker 83 Like, here we go, we're heading to sugar town, and then you're like, yeah, and a bowl of crappy cereal.

Speaker 37 Unless you suddenly twist us and you put that whole bowl through the glaze curtain.

Speaker 82 Yeah, that's the only thing that can save this.

Speaker 75 Belly up, please.

Speaker 77 And so I'm losing it even more.

Speaker 66 Well, let's hear Victoria's dream meal, please.

Speaker 126 Victoria, you would like tap water.

Speaker 53 Here's the thing.

Speaker 61 Tap water didn't annoy me the first time out, and now it is.

Speaker 63 Now it's annoying because

Speaker 97 in the bigger picture, it's very frustrating.

Speaker 124 Because

Speaker 124 I've imagined also it's tap water from your own home as well.

Speaker 75 You just said

Speaker 82 do it from my house.

Speaker 65 You would like for your dream meal, tap water, bread with lots of butter, warm wholemeal roll with raisins.

Speaker 98 Ah, I'm nostalgic for those days.

Speaker 124 That was when you made me want that.

Speaker 86 I really want to go home and have that. I'm genuinely going to eat that at some point soon.

Speaker 98 Starter, just an avocado with some belly grets.

Speaker 130 Main, a plowman's with cheddar stilton, triangles of bread.

Speaker 77 I'm actually genuinely digging my fingers into my leg.

Speaker 124 I'm grabbing my leg so hard that I'm causing myself pain to get myself through the sentence because it's so long.

Speaker 66 I think it sounds delicious.

Speaker 6 Triangles of bread, grapes, apple, pickle, no celery.

Speaker 86 Side, cucumber salad.

Speaker 3 The home

Speaker 6 sound of that very much.

Speaker 92 Drink salted caramel martini.

Speaker 46 I'm going to just stare at that sentence for a bit longer so I don't have to move on.

Speaker 131 Dessert.

Speaker 6 Rice pudding with a little bit of cinnamon.

Speaker 48 Mother's homemade rice pudding.

Speaker 87 Yeah.

Speaker 207 Lovely.

Speaker 83 Lovely.

Speaker 92 I think that sounds nice.

Speaker 201 That's more of a amazing. You know.

Speaker 47 I mean, maybe I'm just wound up because it's Valentine's Day.

Speaker 98 Maybe that's what it is.

Speaker 73 Maybe it's not about Victoria. I'm taking it out on it.

Speaker 45 No, it's definitely about that menu.

Speaker 95 Definitely about that menu, isn't it?

Speaker 121 But you could eat that and you could get on with your day.

Speaker 117 Yep, you could eat that.

Speaker 77 You could have that.

Speaker 6 You're right.

Speaker 127 If I have that for my Valentine's meal, I'll be having you tonight, as you tuck into your badger endouette with foreign sauce, it'll come back into your mind how delicious the simple pleasure

Speaker 148 Of a ploughman's.

Speaker 169 Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Speaker 53 Oh, great.

Speaker 114 Love Victoria Corin Mitchell.

Speaker 53 Oh, she is the devil.

Speaker 37 I remember not enjoying her menu, but the fact it annoyed you so much really made me like it more.

Speaker 47 I'll tell you what, I can't believe so many people winding me up. Not as many people wind you up.

Speaker 41 No, that's true.

Speaker 47 Someone will come on and they try and wind you up sometimes, but not very.

Speaker 47 I can think of Jane Raynor and Greg Davis.

Speaker 15 Can't think of anybody else.

Speaker 37 Yeah, well, they can't wind me up, mate. I'm the box.

Speaker 129 Oh, they wound you up, all right.

Speaker 145 These guys wound you up.

Speaker 130 I'm cool as a cuke.

Speaker 190 I mean, I'm going to let you explain the chocolate eclair, and you can talk about the chocolate eclair, but just know that I disagree with your choice wholly, and we can have that argument in a few minutes.

Speaker 139 Okay.

Speaker 206 There is a childhood element. Yes, okay.
Okay, so

Speaker 206 desserts and sweet things were not a big thing in our house because my mother was fully aware that we all had our size issues,

Speaker 206 but they would be outbreaks of indulgence.

Speaker 206 So, rather than there being a kind of so I had this thin friend, and their family had a chocolate drawer in the kitchen, and there was a drawer just full of chocolate.

Speaker 206 And I would see him, he would go in and he would open it and take one piece out, and he'd eat it and then close the drawer. And I didn't understand how that worked.

Speaker 206 Because if that drawer had been in my house, it would just be emptied on a daily basis.

Speaker 11 I had a thin friend who had that drawer.

Speaker 95 If that drawer had been in my house, there would have been a padlock on it.

Speaker 185 Exactly.

Speaker 206 So oh so anyway so every now and then thin people playing

Speaker 78 guess what guys I've got a job that draw now

Speaker 53 have you? Have you really?

Speaker 45 Yeah but you don't you don't restrain yourself you just don't put on weight.

Speaker 144 That's true I'm a freak.

Speaker 206 Is that true? Can you eat literally anything?

Speaker 75 At the moment.

Speaker 98 I mean, we'll see how long that lasts.

Speaker 206 Yeah, I'm coming back in 10 years to laugh and yeah

Speaker 122 James and his and his dad are absolute sweet freaks.

Speaker 54 Are they?

Speaker 75 Right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 98 It's very funny that it's my dad as well.

Speaker 109 So

Speaker 206 sometimes my father would appear with a box of pastries. And he'd gone to some place in Hampstead and there would be a box of pastries.

Speaker 206 And we're always told that we couldn't have the chocolate eclair because it was his.

Speaker 206 However often we said, get two?

Speaker 36 Get two chocolate declair, maybe three?

Speaker 206 It wouldn't happen because his need for an assortment.

Speaker 206 He needed an assorted box.

Speaker 50 So I could never have the chocolate declaire.

Speaker 206 But I bloody love a chocolate declaire. Shoe pastry is a brilliant thing.

Speaker 206 You know, Profit Torrelles are made from shoe pastry. It's a cooked-out pastry, which is then baked.
It's very hard to make. And then it's filled with cream.

Speaker 206 And then it's got thick layers of chocolate on top.

Speaker 10 And it's tactile, isn't it?

Speaker 206 And so, you know, it's basically me dealing with my father issues.

Speaker 206 It is a finely calibrated piece of dessert work, pastry work. You've got pastry, you've got cream, you've got chocolate on top.

Speaker 206 What I can see in Ed's eyes is he's trying to muster his arguments to rebut me, but he's feeling on slightly fragile ground.

Speaker 64 Well, I am now because you obviously described it so well,

Speaker 135 that's your trade, and you're convinced.

Speaker 143 Listen, Ed, it's no shame in being turned by Rayner.

Speaker 109 He's been turned up to the ribs.

Speaker 131 I know you.

Speaker 99 I've got a present then.

Speaker 136 I think

Speaker 136 I want to do that.

Speaker 137 I want something dense and luxurious and unctuous.

Speaker 45 And I feel like

Speaker 128 I've got a lot of things I've ever had.

Speaker 119 Is I've bitten into it and it's gone like this.

Speaker 14 It's just too much air in it.

Speaker 66 Too much air. Too much air in it.

Speaker 206 So you don't like chocolate clares because you've only had shit ones.

Speaker 183 Cream's boring.

Speaker 71 Cream's boring.

Speaker 55 Cream's boring.

Speaker 6 Airy cream. Too much bubbles.

Speaker 55 Your podcast, mate.

Speaker 77 I'm the same with profiteroles.

Speaker 93 I think shoe pastry is like weird and tense.

Speaker 63 What about a crocon bouche?

Speaker 76 No,

Speaker 93 that's just a sculpture.

Speaker 190 A sculpture dribbled in caramel

Speaker 206 with cream inside it.

Speaker 69 It's that hard caramel. At least that's pointless.

Speaker 98 Any dessert was lipidoping you.

Speaker 97 It was letting you talk for a while.

Speaker 206 Any dessert that needs to be made in a traffic cone

Speaker 206 is clearly a fine thing.

Speaker 103 No,

Speaker 3 it's showing off a croquen bouche.

Speaker 53 It's showing off.

Speaker 206 Says a stand-up committee.

Speaker 10 We come to your starter.

Speaker 150 Please.

Speaker 58 And why not?

Speaker 209 You're not going to like this.

Speaker 59 I've already thought about this.

Speaker 53 We're not going to like it.

Speaker 14 I don't think you're going to like it.

Speaker 55 Neither of us are going to like it.

Speaker 209 No, and I am firm in my decision.

Speaker 56 Okay, this is great.

Speaker 37 I don't think anyone's ever upset both of us at the same time.

Speaker 82 Maybe we've had some people upset, maybe, yeah.

Speaker 156 But like, no one going in this defiant from

Speaker 126 the get-go, despite

Speaker 99 this.

Speaker 156 This might have been done before.

Speaker 87 Okay.

Speaker 148 Big sip.

Speaker 153 Do you think a big, big swig of his drink?

Speaker 53 Ready to drop it on us? Yeah?

Speaker 11 Pass.

Speaker 158 What?

Speaker 55 I don't agree with the starter.

Speaker 165 Oh, man.

Speaker 166 I absolutely love it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, it is unacceptable.

Speaker 86 Because, for one, Ed is a starter boy.

Speaker 98 He loves starters.

Speaker 101 Why would you think

Speaker 100 this is a bit? This is great.

Speaker 60 It's a bonus mane on a little plate.

Speaker 106 Trouble in paradise.

Speaker 209 It's the equivalent to going for a haircut and saying, can I have a trim, please?

Speaker 22 Now can I have a haircut?

Speaker 11 It's not the equivalent of that at all.

Speaker 158 Ed, Ed,

Speaker 99 it totally serves you right for having other friends besides me.

Speaker 209 It's nice to put it out there.

Speaker 41 Whenever I go for a meal with anyone and they go, oh, I think I'll have a starter.

Speaker 209 I genuinely resent them and it ruins the meal for me.

Speaker 150 Well.

Speaker 149 Because you don't want a starter, so you're annoyed that your meal's taking longer.

Speaker 166 But just have a starter. I do.

Speaker 37 Yeah, you have a starter and you enjoy it.

Speaker 11 I don't enjoy it.

Speaker 39 You don't enjoy it.

Speaker 163 No, I don't. No matter what it is, you don't enjoy it.
I don't.

Speaker 7 I order the starter when I think it'll take the least amount of time to prepare so that I can then get onto my meal.

Speaker 75 But the meal, the meal is the starter. It's part of the...

Speaker 185 I pass.

Speaker 96 No, you can't pass.

Speaker 53 I have passed.

Speaker 91 You can't.

Speaker 91 We did it.

Speaker 149 Fine, then we're bringing you out an empty plate and you have to sit here for as long as it would take you to eat a starter.

Speaker 209 As often I do when I'm out with rude people.

Speaker 36 Rude people?

Speaker 53 You think people order starters are rude?

Speaker 101 It's the same as shattering pop-a-doms for me.

Speaker 112 It's not. Why?

Speaker 125 Well, because I have to sit while you have your starter.

Speaker 103 Do you like eating out? You just want to get home as quick as possible?

Speaker 139 No, I want to enjoy my main course.

Speaker 209 And I'll luxuriate in the time I take to eat my main course.

Speaker 160 I can't believe it.

Speaker 99 It's funny.

Speaker 86 We've never had a pass before.

Speaker 166 I pass.

Speaker 116 Right, let's ask the follow-up questions.

Speaker 10 Is there anywhere in particular that you enjoyed not having a starter?

Speaker 91 Already?

Speaker 103 Name some of the restaurants that you enjoy an empty plate at.

Speaker 143 You've not even had one starter in your whole life that you were like, that was delicious.

Speaker 98 And that you would want as your starter.

Speaker 119 I find it.

Speaker 102 Let me think how to phrase it.

Speaker 159 Unwanted, commercialized foreplay.

Speaker 100 That sounds lovely. I'm hot.

Speaker 11 Let's eat.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 53 Sure.

Speaker 175 Ever wonder why you have insurance for your car or home, but not your digital life? Meet Webroot Total Protection, your digital bodyguard that is built for real life.

Speaker 175 Webroot takes the guessing game out of cybersecurity so you can confidently browse, bank, and be yourself online without the worry of hackers lurking around the corner.

Speaker 175 With Webroot Total Protection, you get antivirus that scans six times faster and takes up 33 times less space than the other guys.

Speaker 175 Identity protection with up to $1 million in fraud expense reimbursement and 24-7 U.S.-based customer support. VPN protection that hides your IP address, personal data, and location from hackers.

Speaker 175 And cloud backup with unlimited storage that works automatically in the background. With plans for individuals and families, Webroot makes it easy to live a better digital life.

Speaker 175 Go to webroot.com forward slash promo and get 50% off today. That's webroot.com slash promo to get 50% off today.
Live a better digital life with Webroot because peace of mind shouldn't be optional.

Speaker 21 We get it. It's more important than ever to get the most out of your money.
Options are key. Options like Lyft, where you get great rewards, especially with partners like Dash Pass by DoorDash.

Speaker 21 If you're a Dash Pass member, just link your DoorDash account and you'll get 5% off on-demand rides, 10% off scheduled rides to the airport, plus two free priority pickup upgrades every month.

Speaker 21 New to Dash Pass? To sign up for a three-month free trial, check Lyft.

Speaker 11 Terms apply.

Speaker 25 It's Stock Up September at Whole Foods Market. Find sales on supplements to power up for busy weeks.
Plus, pack your pantry with pasta, sauce, and more everyday essentials.

Speaker 25 Enjoy quick breakfast for less with 365 by Whole Foods Market seasonal coffee and oatmeal.

Speaker 25 Grab ready-to-heat meals that are perfect for the office and save on versatile no antibiotics ever chicken breasts. Stock up now at Whole Foods Market, in-store and online.

Speaker 152 Who passes on a starter?

Speaker 129 Greg Davis passes on a starter.

Speaker 103 You're in the dream restaurant.

Speaker 37 He's passed on a dream.

Speaker 79 Oh, that cuke seems to have warmed up a little bit.

Speaker 37 It's like having a dream where you're riding a unicorn and going, well, no, I don't need a horn.

Speaker 54 It can just be a regular horse.

Speaker 83 Watching you and Greg clash

Speaker 106 the war of the starters.

Speaker 82 I like a good war, Ed. I love a good war, don't you?

Speaker 37 It's interesting you say that, James, because we've started our own war right here on the Off-Menu podcast.

Speaker 54 Although, I think maybe we've extended a pre-existing war.

Speaker 159 Sure.

Speaker 6 A war that we were previously unaware of, but it has been raging on.

Speaker 37 Between two nations over Jolloff Rice. In fact, I'm thinking we should probably just change the name of this podcast to Jolloff Menu.

Speaker 83 Oh, lovely, Ed.

Speaker 73 Absolutely lovely.

Speaker 37 So there's been a war between Nigerian Jollof Rice and Ghanaian Jollof Rice and the main generals in this war have been Lolly Adafope, Selassie Bormita and Sophie Duca.

Speaker 48 Oh good looking battle faithful soldiers.

Speaker 9 Is this bowl of Nigerian food?

Speaker 143 Has it got a name? Would you always refer to it as something?

Speaker 126 Was it just waiting there for you?

Speaker 99 Or was it always the same things in it or was it different stuff?

Speaker 88 Different things pounded yam and stew would be one thing or pounded yam with a goosey is one thing or jollof rice would be a different thing

Speaker 166 so you wouldn't have them together no well i actually probably would because i'd love to make shovels yeah but that's not the norm to have rice and yam and was this stuff already made and left over

Speaker 88 in general yeah or was it made for you sometimes it was made for me and i felt bad but my mum would be like are you hungry and then i'd say yes i think it sort of reminds me of when i graduated and then moved back home again.

Speaker 42 It was just

Speaker 119 like going out, and then mum would cook some dinner and eat her dinner at a normal time. Yeah.

Speaker 119 And then I'd get back and there'd be like a cold thing waiting to warm up in the microwave at like half past midnight or something. Yeah.

Speaker 11 When I was pissed.

Speaker 88 And sometimes I would say, okay, no, don't make it for me. I want pounded yam.
And then I would start to make it, and I would be doing such a bad job that she would come in and be like, okay, I'll.

Speaker 166 Yes.

Speaker 173 I really want Nigerian food now.

Speaker 156 Yeah, you make me want pounded yam. Yeah.

Speaker 71 Well, you'll love it. You'll love Sandy.

Speaker 42 Pounded yam in Soho.

Speaker 210 But I guess before that,

Speaker 210 I would always, well, you can't get it anywhere, but Jolof Rice, which is Ghanaian, not Nigerian, a Ghanaian.

Speaker 107 Oh, wow, Lolly.

Speaker 107 Now

Speaker 197 we're doing it, cross-podcast beef.

Speaker 63 Yeah, bring it.

Speaker 107 Lolly was in.

Speaker 42 The comedian Lolly Adafofi was here and saying she wanted Nigerian food. And I believe Jolof Rice was brought up.

Speaker 136 Yeah.

Speaker 53 So a shot has been fired over the

Speaker 210 Joloff Rice, if all restaurants served it, definitely.

Speaker 48 Would you be thanking Jesus in church if if all restaurants served Joloff Rice?

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 104 Back to church.

Speaker 114 I'm here three times a day now.

Speaker 9 Watch for the surf, watch for the turf.

Speaker 53 Yeah, watch for the jolof rice.

Speaker 15 And then a little extra prayer for Peshwari Nan.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 77 And then what's more, just a curse Nigerian Joloff rice.

Speaker 3 Please, please, Lord, get rid of it.

Speaker 180 I don't like it.

Speaker 207 So

Speaker 10 what's Jaloff rice?

Speaker 42 How are you putting together jalof rice?

Speaker 210 You first make, well, I'm describing it how I make it. So, depending on what you're adding, so chicken or lamb or beef or goat or anything, you make a stock from the meat.

Speaker 210 Then you use the stock to make a stew. So, it's a tomato stew.

Speaker 210 And then you add your veg, if you want to add veg, then you cook it in basmati rice, not American lawn grain.

Speaker 22 Basmati rice. And it's just

Speaker 210 a stewed rice made from tomato sauce. And then you can add the meat or you grill the meat separately and then you have the on the side.
Nice. And it's everything.

Speaker 48 That doesn't sound very good actually.

Speaker 154 I got lost in that.

Speaker 130 It's like I was listening to a poem.

Speaker 201 And I think I'd have some jollof.

Speaker 52 Jollof rice.

Speaker 137 We've had some controversy over the third time.

Speaker 41 What did you have a Nigerian on?

Speaker 66 We had, we had

Speaker 201 some unrelated to food, but I won't get to it.

Speaker 156 Here's the thing.

Speaker 47 Now I'm having to have men.

Speaker 189 So we've had, this is the third mention of 12 folks we've had.

Speaker 87 We've had Selassie and we had Lolly.

Speaker 189 Yeah. Now you.

Speaker 146 And I know now that it is, you've pushed it over to two for

Speaker 148 how do you say it?

Speaker 189 Ganyan. Ganyan Rice.
Yeah.

Speaker 49 Yeah, Ganyan. Or rice from Ghana.

Speaker 201 Yeah, people say Ghanaian, but in Ghana they say like Ganyan.

Speaker 62 So Selassie was also...

Speaker 45 Selassie lent, he was a very quiet, very relaxed guest until it came talking about Jollof Rice and then he leant right into the microphone.

Speaker 123 He went, Jollof Rice is not Nigerian.

Speaker 96 Really?

Speaker 185 Wow, that's dark.

Speaker 128 That's dark.

Speaker 203 But it's true.

Speaker 202 It's bad.

Speaker 23 I've got into trouble because I've been bad mouthing with Nigerian rice.

Speaker 201 Like I was just like, I was with my mum on this thing called Africa in the Square, where they've got loads of African stalls and loads of people queuing up for the Jollof Rice.

Speaker 201 And I was like, queuing up my mom. I was like, oh, it's not even worth it because it's Nigerian.
And these girls turn around and be like, what did you say?

Speaker 53 I was like,

Speaker 195 it's true.

Speaker 201 And they're like, we had a fight about Jolloff Rice.

Speaker 201 It's not, like, Nigerian food is

Speaker 201 not good.

Speaker 45 You took that pause to make sure you were diplomatic and then just completely.

Speaker 128 No, it's.

Speaker 193 The rice is stupid. It's all like fat, stupid rice.

Speaker 201 Also, there's like...

Speaker 125 Fat, stupid rice.

Speaker 202 They don't make it with long grain rice. They make it with like fat, stupid rice.

Speaker 201 Also, there's a lot of, in my like, auntie WhatsApp groups, there's lots of myths about what's happening

Speaker 201 with food. There's a lot of it is quite problematic and worrying.

Speaker 193 A myth of plastic rice, that people were making plastic rice.

Speaker 201 I was like, it's just because someone's had Nigerian Jolloff and they think it's made of plastic. It's terrible.

Speaker 37 The war rages on, of course, and good luck to anyone out there on the battlefield.

Speaker 48 Yes, pick a side and pick it well.

Speaker 37 Now it comes to the the off-menu awards. There is only one award and it's best description of food.

Speaker 37 There is only one nominee and one winner and that winner is Marcus Samuelson for this description of how to make gnocchi.

Speaker 6 Nockey is something that I've like probably only got into in the last like I don't know five years.

Speaker 98 I started eating it and like so I really like it but I'd say I wouldn't know what makes a good one.

Speaker 13 So you can make we can go through it.

Speaker 53 It's very like you wanna you wanna roast the potato first.

Speaker 36 You wanna start there, right?

Speaker 194 So they don't get mealy and watery. So you just roast sweet potatoes or potatoes, just roast them until they're soft.
Then you scrape them out

Speaker 194 and then you add it.

Speaker 194 You don't want them heavy. So that comes down to don't use too much flour, right? So this is your potatoes.
A little bit of olive oil, a little bit of flour, salt, maybe some nutmeg.

Speaker 194 You want same time as you roast the the potatoes, maybe you roast two, three pieces of garlic as well. You just mash that up.

Speaker 194 That's your noki so the key thing on something a noki gets heavy is because you have too much flour in it and so you just want a little bit of flour to bind it maybe an egg yolk just to tie it all together and that's your noki and then you put a pan of water on and you just blanch them really quick you drop them in Once the water is brought to a boil, you lift them out and then you just put a hot pan on with olive oil or clarified butter and then you just sear the noki and then you add in a little bit of butter in the end, salt, pepper.

Speaker 194 Done.

Speaker 71 Do you know what?

Speaker 47 I think that description there is going to be our most re-listened to section of the entire podcast we've ever done.

Speaker 98 I think a lot of people are going to re-listen to that.

Speaker 78 I'll be pausing it and doing that back.

Speaker 79 Rewinding it and going, I want to listen to that again.

Speaker 48 Oh, mad. My stomach's fumbling.
My mouth is watering. Thank you, Marcus.

Speaker 37 Thank you so much, Marcus. Now, that was a fairly straight-up choice.
We all like a bit of gnocchi, but there's been some absolute weirdos on this podcast, James.

Speaker 11 There are

Speaker 83 absolute weirdos.

Speaker 47 Tom Kerridge, Joel Dommit.

Speaker 12 Does the name Lou Sanders mean anything to you?

Speaker 44 And let's not forget Mike Skinner.

Speaker 37 It's very interesting to find out that some of these people we interview who are quite prominent public figures have such odd food habits. But let's hear a little bit of it now.

Speaker 48 And don't forget to turn into Joel Dommit forever.

Speaker 37 Yes, keep tweeting Joel Domit. I've noticed that's dipped down, but keep on going.

Speaker 87 To drink, sir.

Speaker 143 Well, also, he's probably going to half and half again. Half coke zero, half diet coke.

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 75 Half wine, half beer.

Speaker 178 Well, no, well, it's very difficult this because I'm trying to work out. So I knocked booze on the head six about nearly six years ago, right? So I'd become

Speaker 76 quite a huge part of my life, is the best way of describing it.

Speaker 178 So I'm like, if this is a one-off thing, like and it's just one-off, and it'll never affect my brain cells again, and it won't take me. I might go for 24 cans of Stella.

Speaker 178 I might go for 24 cans of Stella.

Speaker 71 Alternatively,

Speaker 69 I'd absolutely love that.

Speaker 107 I might skip over that.

Speaker 185 Alternatively,

Speaker 178 a can of Diet Lilt. I love Diet Lilt with fish and chips.
You know, can of Lilt is Lil.

Speaker 178 I haven't seen it in a, well, I have had it, actually. That's what I was going to say.
I haven't seen it in ages.

Speaker 127 I had some yesterday.

Speaker 178 But it's one of the, so you know,

Speaker 178 it depends on how bad we've been. I mean, I've gone for fish and chips.

Speaker 178 If I'm going, if I'm going all in and it's one day only and it's not going to take me down the route that I went down maybe yeah maybe a whole slab of stellar yeah that would yeah that would be stellar of all of the beers

Speaker 178 well i think when you have an issue with alcohol you look for the ones that hit the spot quicker

Speaker 53 stella

Speaker 178 stella straight there yeah specifically 24 cans of it yeah well like you load up with 24 and then you see where the evening goes

Speaker 45 i think the fact you picked the house 24 cans of stellar probably shows that you're right to knock it on the head tom yeah that's your go-to Do you want them as separate cans?

Speaker 87 Or, because I can do whatever you want here, I can do it as one big guzzler can for you that's like 24 cans

Speaker 83 with a little straw, maybe.

Speaker 178 Well, actually, well, if we're going for it and we're in a restaurant and there's like, I wouldn't mind one of those like really comedy hats that you have cans in that you could sit in it, yeah, exactly, and then a straw.

Speaker 76 Do you want one of those that can fit 24 cans of each? Yeah, 12 each side would be

Speaker 166 Stetson. Yeah, that would be up.

Speaker 152 I'm up for that.

Speaker 178 Yeah, that would be great. Can you arrange that, Mr.
Genie?

Speaker 185 I'll sort that out for you.

Speaker 90 There we are.

Speaker 82 No worries.

Speaker 40 One steps of beer dome coming right up.

Speaker 86 24 cans of stellar.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 121 Joe, what drink are you having to accompany this?

Speaker 22 Well, I think genuinely, I'd have a protein shake.

Speaker 67 I do like protein shakes.

Speaker 22 I really love them. I have them all the time.

Speaker 22 I have

Speaker 22 this new one, which is absolutely delicious. It has a little bit of strawberry in it.
It's just really tangy, lovely.

Speaker 22 And then it's an optimum nutrition one, not being paid by them.

Speaker 22 And before I go to bed, I have a casein protein, which is like...

Speaker 93 You have a protein shape before you go to bed?

Speaker 121 Yes, which doesn't mean you've got to work out in your drinks.

Speaker 79 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 160 Yeah.

Speaker 188 And

Speaker 22 then

Speaker 2 I also have that.

Speaker 22 I spread that over my porridge in the mornings. I love porridge.
I really love porridge. Sometimes, sometimes.

Speaker 6 Another thing that you like more than anything you've ever listed today

Speaker 79 could have been your starter.

Speaker 152 Yeah, it could have been.

Speaker 180 It's not a sort of podcast, Lou.

Speaker 211 Everything is these days.

Speaker 43 Everybody ever woke.

Speaker 211 Or I like bits of stuff, so

Speaker 127 I don't want to be weighed down by one meal.

Speaker 211 So I want a tapas, but I want the tapas to be of my choosing.

Speaker 211 Global tapas, baby.

Speaker 150 Global.

Speaker 142 Okay.

Speaker 149 So your main course is foods from all over the world.

Speaker 169 Global tapas.

Speaker 46 So you're like, tapas, tapaz, but like from everywhere.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You've got to stop saying global tapaz. Yeah.

Speaker 150 I don't think I can.

Speaker 86 No,

Speaker 86 especially now you told her not to.

Speaker 121 So hang on, we've gone through

Speaker 174 Thai food to vegan roast to global tapaz.

Speaker 211 What have the first two got in common?

Speaker 179 They can sit in the global tapas.

Speaker 86 So two of the little dishes in your global tapas are the red Thai curry and the vegan roast.

Speaker 145 Yeah.

Speaker 193 Yes.

Speaker 45 You could put the red Thai curry in a Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 156 How about that?

Speaker 71 No, thank you.

Speaker 158 No, why not?

Speaker 211 Mix that sounds nice. I won't mix the topas.

Speaker 174 There's a pub in my dad's that does the pub meals are all you just get a giant Yorkshire pudding and they fill it full of

Speaker 127 you know your dad

Speaker 45 you can get you could get curry in that you could get

Speaker 63 chicken tea

Speaker 211 in the New Forest that's lovely actually you get a giant Yorkshire pudding they do one with Chili Concarni and they do one with

Speaker 46 Hampshire I would like to go to this place what's it called no it's called the trusty servant the trusty servant yeah yeah.

Speaker 156 That is a very, I mean.

Speaker 211 Road trip to the Trusty Servant.

Speaker 155 Sure, absolutely.

Speaker 64 It's a good part.

Speaker 118 It's a big insight into Ed's family there.

Speaker 99 They eat at the Trusty Servant.

Speaker 211 Oh, yes, I get the subtext there.

Speaker 149 Give us an example.

Speaker 62 If we give you five little dishes that you can have from across the globe for your main cause, that will allow that.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 81 Okay, go.

Speaker 99 No, you need to pick the best.

Speaker 77 We're not going to read out a load of different things from all over the world.

Speaker 83 You choose five of them.

Speaker 105 This is your choice.

Speaker 110 We'll read out every dish okay

Speaker 53 go

Speaker 9 we'll start with

Speaker 9 your face was so serious when you said okay go

Speaker 130 you're really composing yourself and you're like okay i'm ready i'm ready to do this i didn't want to hear the menu didn't want to fuck it up i was really ready okay

Speaker 211 okay so you've got your thai dish yeah oh so that's on the

Speaker 211 top of the red thai cover with the brown rice it's all in one of the middle with the brown rice it's all in one little dish okay we'll let you have that i might start with that and then you've got your roast with the trimmings But hold on.

Speaker 45 So what's that? It's a little dish.

Speaker 193 It's a little dish. It's got...

Speaker 47 So what's your roast with the trimmings in that little dish?

Speaker 19 It's a Yorkshire Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 61 It's as big as one Yorkshire pudding in this dish.

Speaker 137 Vegan Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 211 Okay, and it's got stuff inside it.

Speaker 77 So what's inside the Yorkshire pudding?

Speaker 48 How do you make vegan Yorkshire puddings?

Speaker 211 Oh, they've done it before, they'll do it again.

Speaker 96 Okay.

Speaker 158 Stuffing.

Speaker 165 Stuffing? Yeah. Inside the Yorkshire.

Speaker 182 Stuffing inside. Inside the Yorkshire pudding.

Speaker 211 Don't check your phone while I'm going in a dream dinner.

Speaker 51 My sister's texted me about a flatjack.

Speaker 180 Carry on.

Speaker 55 You're always always ardent, James.

Speaker 173 Yeah.

Speaker 211 Broccoli, it's made an appearance again, and I can't help that.

Speaker 43 Okay. But is the cleaner roast?

Speaker 211 Or maybe spinach.

Speaker 71 Spinach in a roast.

Speaker 43 Well, throw up some other ideas then.

Speaker 71 Parsnips.

Speaker 48 Roast parsnips.

Speaker 52 Roast potatoes.

Speaker 150 Carrots.

Speaker 19 Roast potatoes.

Speaker 211 Roast potato little ones and some mash and then some gravy and then we're done.

Speaker 86 Okay, so two clothes of potato and a Yorkshire.

Speaker 146 What would you like for your starter?

Speaker 200 Cushy punch.

Speaker 150 What?

Speaker 200 So cushy punch is a very famous

Speaker 200 Californian weed edible.

Speaker 150 Ah!

Speaker 200 I'm not into weed. Yes.
Makes me think that I left the iron on.

Speaker 165 Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, sure.

Speaker 165 What?

Speaker 82 I don't mean.

Speaker 46 It makes you paranoid.

Speaker 72 Makes you paranoid, you mean? Yeah, makes me think

Speaker 72 of it.

Speaker 95 Some loads of

Speaker 95 darkness.

Speaker 53 Yeah, yeah, I know that exact feeling.

Speaker 150 You know? Yeah.

Speaker 200 Don't like that feeling.

Speaker 3 You don't like weed, however.

Speaker 200 So, however, I don't like weed, but Cushy Punch

Speaker 200 do an

Speaker 200 indica-only one. So there's like, apparently, there's like two things: sativa and indica is like in weed.
Yes. And it's sativa that makes you think you left the iron on.

Speaker 51 Okay.

Speaker 200 Someone in California has very

Speaker 200 generously removed the did I leave the iron on factor from weed

Speaker 200 and put it into a edible, a jelly,

Speaker 200 and just left the indica bit, which is the sort of like bodily sort of thing where you just go, ah,

Speaker 200 I don't care about the iron.

Speaker 142 Yeah, it might be on the other side.

Speaker 71 You know, fuck it.

Speaker 71 You know,

Speaker 200 and so, yeah, and it also, as well, just makes you really enjoy food.

Speaker 47 Oh, it actually really gears you up for the rest of the meal as well.

Speaker 118 That's clever.

Speaker 45 You'll be unsurprised to learn that you're the first person to pick a weed edible as their starter.

Speaker 47 Yep, even though no one's picked it yet, it is 100% what all the listeners thought you were going to pick.

Speaker 144 So that's good.

Speaker 139 No one's surprised?

Speaker 150 Well.

Speaker 39 Well, well, well.

Speaker 135 Bizarre choices.

Speaker 72 Absolutely bizarre.

Speaker 41 They're whackadoo, those guys.

Speaker 133 I'll tell you what, though, at least they didn't make me feel sick, you know?

Speaker 28 No, no.

Speaker 37 I mean, Joel Domits maybe made me feel a little bit sick, but

Speaker 37 nowhere near as sick as these people made me feel with these moments from their episodes.

Speaker 41 We're talking Desiree Burch, Sean Clifford, Evelyn Mock, Catherine Bohart, Keema Bob, and Grace Dentz.

Speaker 203 So, okay.

Speaker 212 There are honorable mentions to every cheesecake that's ever existed. However, I will say that I have to take a lactose enzyme to enjoy any of them because I'm lactose intolerant.
It sucks.

Speaker 212 It makes, I mean, you know, cake is fine, butter's okay, you know, if it's baked in, whatever, but it makes every sort of dessert that comes with a side of ice cream just like a slap in the face.

Speaker 212 And especially in this country because it's full of people who historically can process dairy well.

Speaker 212 And so everything is ice cream at the interval and like, you know, scoop of whatever or like in a, you know, a custard and it's beautiful, but like I have to take one to two of those things.

Speaker 130 And if I time time it poorly I'm just like I gotta go.

Speaker 49 I gotta go have a horrible crap somewhere.

Speaker 212 It was so tasty and it's like whoop there goes all of dinner that I was hoping to enjoy.

Speaker 98 I've never seen it this happy.

Speaker 107 Oh my god.

Speaker 53 Oh, it's so funny.

Speaker 79 Any episode so far.

Speaker 53 Oh, this is so funny.

Speaker 61 Also, because you made eye contact with Ed, but you said horrible crap.

Speaker 95 Oh, I better have a whole crap.

Speaker 136 Also, my favorite sort of humor is when you've suggested what we all knew what you were were heading for.

Speaker 96 But now I'm getting this word.

Speaker 91 No, horrible crap.

Speaker 96 Just to make sure that we're all clear, it is vomiting out of the other end.

Speaker 131 That is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 92 All the oysters and the scallops going, well, we're all in this together.

Speaker 63 It's a good thing she didn't chew us because now we got to go out into the world and think for ourselves.

Speaker 79 We went out as we came in.

Speaker 53 Holy.

Speaker 195 And alone.

Speaker 121 Maybe I'll take my shell again.

Speaker 112 She kept it.

Speaker 155 It's in her purse.

Speaker 185 There you go.

Speaker 116 Good luck.

Speaker 212 Just trying desperately ruining plumming.

Speaker 128 Desmond.

Speaker 17 Desmond, before you flush, can you mind chucking a guy's shell?

Speaker 33 I know you got it.

Speaker 151 Yeah.

Speaker 97 Hey, you don't let broccoli rob for nothing.

Speaker 193 When I was a kid, I went to this like circus, not a circus, I don't know, like a performance thing for kids.

Speaker 193 kids and there was a guy on stage and one of his tricks was to invite four kids up on stage and to give them whatever drink they wanted

Speaker 193 but out but wait for it out of the same teapot

Speaker 168 and um

Speaker 155 outfox the cereal milk milk

Speaker 155 I was too scared to go up

Speaker 193 but I've never forgotten and the genie reminds me a little bit of of that guy and I'm telling you one of the kids picked carrot juice yeah

Speaker 159 Oh my god.

Speaker 38 What's wrong with that kid?

Speaker 15 I tried to throw the magician up, I guess.

Speaker 193 And

Speaker 117 he had it. And he did it.

Speaker 193 I don't know how they did it, but they did it.

Speaker 127 He actually made carrot juice coming up with people.

Speaker 142 But do you know what?

Speaker 193 He probably just had, you know, those things in pubs

Speaker 193 with the buttons, with the different things.

Speaker 11 But then you can't have an infinite thing.

Speaker 71 You can't have. No.

Speaker 47 It's like whatever the kid's name is in there.

Speaker 84 Oh, God.

Speaker 170 If I was a little kid and they got me up to do that trick.

Speaker 77 And

Speaker 148 you get to meet, I'd go, piss.

Speaker 84 piss

Speaker 60 if only you the listener could see quite how proud James's little face is

Speaker 95 it's like he's gonna kid he's gonna send it to the magician

Speaker 148 he's foxed him so they're really happy and then when he made the cabbages come out I'll be like what's wrong with this guy's piss

Speaker 135 Evelyn uh has a food-based Instagram account which is why she's quite an exciting guest for me

Speaker 27 called Evelyn Things I pooped out

Speaker 37 which I love but I show all the things before I poop them up that's nice of you yeah yeah have you ever thought of setting up a different account where you post it after you've pooped it out?

Speaker 27 That's on u porn.

Speaker 27 And that's something else. I'm making a lot of money from that.

Speaker 27 I once actually had a friend who put up like a photo of his poop on,

Speaker 27 I think it was like Facebook. Right.
And it got taken down. Yeah.

Speaker 27 But it was, I applauded his daring.

Speaker 122 Why did he put a picture of his poop up?

Speaker 27 I think he had like some kind of stomach issue.

Speaker 45 So it was like, guys, does anyone know what's up with me?

Speaker 14 So it was like a genuine question to.

Speaker 137 Hive mind.

Speaker 155 Exactly.

Speaker 43 Has anyone experienced this?

Speaker 39 Why is it this colour?

Speaker 27 Yeah, I think he was just like a

Speaker 27 very provocative kind of guy. So he just wanted to be a bit like daring, I think.

Speaker 82 Look at this, I'm really ill.

Speaker 111 Yeah.

Speaker 131 At least that would help.

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 53 But yeah.

Speaker 3 On your Instagram account,

Speaker 146 what have been some of the most liked and successful images you've posted that people have really responded to and loved?

Speaker 27 I think it's been

Speaker 27 people really like desserts.

Speaker 11 Oh yeah.

Speaker 27 So people really like ice cream and like

Speaker 127 any type of anything with cream on, which I love.

Speaker 27 I love cream. So anything that looks really spectacular, I think people really like that.

Speaker 27 And then also meat. People really like meat on Instagram.

Speaker 41 Meat and cream. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 66 That's the thing.

Speaker 137 I think there's certain, since Instagram has become a thing, there's places that you go to buy a thing that you then put on Instagram.

Speaker 123 Like there's, like, there's, I don't know if you've been to that, there's an ice cream place where it's like an ice cream cone, but then it's got like a huge collar of candy floss around it.

Speaker 71 I've been there, yeah.

Speaker 41 Yeah, and that seems to have been created simply for people to put on Instagram because it's probably a pain in the ass to eat.

Speaker 71 Yeah. But

Speaker 126 it just looks good.

Speaker 155 It's for likes.

Speaker 3 There's no way that's worth it.

Speaker 20 It was very ordinary.

Speaker 105 Oh, you had that?

Speaker 107 I had it. Yeah.

Speaker 130 If there's anywhere that's been on Instagram, I've probably been there if I've been able to access it.

Speaker 122 It's the same with like freak shakes.

Speaker 37 You know, freak shakes?

Speaker 121 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 63 Where they've just got like all manner of shit in there and then all the sauce is dribbling down the side of the glass.

Speaker 41 That gets on my nerves.

Speaker 19 It feels like a heart attack.

Speaker 121 It's a heart attack, and you can't drink it because it's just a dirty cup.

Speaker 73 Symphatical, yeah, because the sauce on the outside of the glass is very annoying.

Speaker 22 It's just for the picture.

Speaker 11 Just for the pic.

Speaker 145 How did you go about eating the ice cream with the collar of candy floss around it?

Speaker 27 So you have to get through the candy floss first.

Speaker 27 And so you just stand there kind of like a child trying to eat it.

Speaker 27 And it's very, it's really unexciting to eat candy floss. It's like fun for the first like maybe bite, but then it's kind of like a chore, I think.

Speaker 27 And then you just eat it regularly, like the ice cream. Not very exciting.

Speaker 50 Not is it?

Speaker 46 The candy floss I find, yeah, just ugh.

Speaker 170 It's that instant guilt of it.

Speaker 48 You just go, I'm just eating goddamn sugar. And like, you could feel it, like, dissolve in your gums.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 137 It's not good. I've never liked candy floss.

Speaker 121 Luckily, I mean, like I say, I always say this, I'm type one diabetic.

Speaker 122 I could eat candy floss if I wanted, but it's just, it's pointless.

Speaker 37 It's pure sugar.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 45 And they made it blue as if that makes it more enticing.

Speaker 67 Have you had blue candy floss?

Speaker 122 Like, that is so much worse.

Speaker 70 It doesn't look like it exists in real life.

Speaker 154 I've seen...

Speaker 27 It looks like a cloud.

Speaker 14 Yeah. It looks like a Smurf's hair.

Speaker 170 I've seen blue, pink, white, and yellow candy floss.

Speaker 19 Yellow. Yellow seems not.

Speaker 27 That gives me...

Speaker 63 That's like yellow snow.

Speaker 27 Yeah,

Speaker 27 yeah, exactly. I didn't want to be

Speaker 22 seen.

Speaker 53 Things I peed out.

Speaker 154 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 130 Like maybe a new Instagram account for just drinks.

Speaker 73 That's not how it works, is it?

Speaker 75 Yes. What?

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 73 That's how it works, right?

Speaker 48 Drinks just go into pee?

Speaker 39 Yeah, you peed to the drink.

Speaker 53 You peed out. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 73 I second guess myself then what's the other what were you second guessing yourself about I thought that oh no it's not that drinks go into pee and foo goes into poo it they both go into both

Speaker 79 is what I convinced myself of

Speaker 37 I just convinced myself of that and then instantly was like no that's not the case I was right what are you thinking you'll be like weighing out some chicken wings or something yeah yeah I thought it just all gets sorted into different stuff

Speaker 76 but I suppose asparagus makes you wee stink so

Speaker 27 well I think isn't pee like all the poison

Speaker 27 or something extracted from your body.

Speaker 15 They're all waste products.

Speaker 95 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 63 Yeah.

Speaker 41 I mean what we're doing now is the opposite of a food podcast.

Speaker 82 Kind of, but like,

Speaker 145 you know.

Speaker 120 But Benito is desperately trying to get us off this topic.

Speaker 203 No, she did a Halloween cheese board.

Speaker 52 A Halloween cheese board. Okay.

Speaker 23 She would do like a barbecue for the whole road.

Speaker 193 That's a whole nother story.

Speaker 23 Do we have time for it, my wife?

Speaker 77 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 23 So she'd do like a cheese board, and then she would do a barbecue where she'd do like burgers and hot dogs at the front.

Speaker 150 For the whole road. Yeah.

Speaker 85 Invite them over and go.

Speaker 23 Yeah, and she'd make a huge time.

Speaker 19 Do you know anything about Fisticick?

Speaker 152 She didn't even know about it then.

Speaker 23 No.

Speaker 23 It's only since she started watching Orange is the New Black, which I also wish she didn't watch. But anyway.

Speaker 138 You can have onions if you let me know about Belgium.

Speaker 23 Oh, no I hope she doesn't listen to this and now ask me about Belgian

Speaker 106 do you know what a dirty sand she has

Speaker 91 how dare you

Speaker 23 oh god I genuinely feel I'm like anxious when I'm gonna be asked these questions yeah yeah

Speaker 23 would she like bake a pumpkin and then serve a Thai pumpkin soup out of it it was amazing yeah that's really good that's delicious that sounds very good it was nobody minded what she asked but the sword was excellent.

Speaker 23 So, Montega.

Speaker 202 Manchega.

Speaker 23 Maybe the truffle one.

Speaker 158 I don't know.

Speaker 80 I quite like a comte.

Speaker 107 Yes.

Speaker 203 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 139 That's in my top five as well.

Speaker 13 Is it?

Speaker 168 Yes. Huh?

Speaker 148 I fly with the flu in my face.

Speaker 18 Well, then, how could you possibly be expected to listen?

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 45 Famously, if a fly flies in James's face, he can't listen to it.

Speaker 86 A comte, did you say?

Speaker 95 Yeah, comte, yeah.

Speaker 43 Yes.

Speaker 23 And, oh, I'd quite like some strawberries to go with my brie.

Speaker 117 What?

Speaker 180 Yeah.

Speaker 91 Brie wind?

Speaker 149 What the hell are you talking about?

Speaker 203 But if they're macerated in balsamic, and then you...

Speaker 137 That's too much for me.

Speaker 23 Is it too much?

Speaker 137 I mean, it's your menu.

Speaker 19 By all means, you have to be. Maybe just some apple, even?

Speaker 150 Just some apple?

Speaker 170 I believe no, but I believe strawberries and brie is just known as strawberrie.

Speaker 148 I think that is the official name of it.

Speaker 11 You are so happy. Would you like some strawberry?

Speaker 92 He looks so pleased.

Speaker 63 James Scott's

Speaker 42 one of the finest comedians in the world.

Speaker 11 He's hugely inventive.

Speaker 63 But when he comes up with a dad joke, at that level, that's the happiest he has ever seen.

Speaker 170 I'm having a roller coaster ride today. I was battling flies and stuff.
I'm trying to remember a Manchester restaurant, and then I was going to cheese quite a bit.

Speaker 43 Strawberry, perfect.

Speaker 215 I want some crawfish.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 215 I want boiled crawfish

Speaker 215 with potatoes and corn and the boil, and we'll call those my vegetables. And this is a side now.

Speaker 13 Yep, yeah, you can flip it like that.

Speaker 46 That's fine.

Speaker 207 Have you had that?

Speaker 71 I've never had that.

Speaker 76 I'm obsessed with having it.

Speaker 45 I really want to have it. It's where you see like videos of them

Speaker 76 emptying it on a table, just on some like on some newspaper, and everyone just going to town.

Speaker 215 Yeah. It's fucking madness.
It's delicious.

Speaker 27 It's so great.

Speaker 48 Are the crawfish in shells?

Speaker 215 They're in shells. They're in their their whole little red bodies.
I think you boil them like alive or something.

Speaker 150 I don't know.

Speaker 215 My dad, when he preps them, he puts like a lot of salt on them. And then they like eat the salt.
And then they like vomit and shit everything inside of them. And now they're like clean enough to eat.

Speaker 3 Yeah. What? That's dead.

Speaker 177 Wow.

Speaker 181 Yeah.

Speaker 53 Wow.

Speaker 39 That's deep.

Speaker 170 It sounds like the most unappetizing meal ever.

Speaker 106 You don't eat it. You make an animal vomit and shit everything else.

Speaker 19 You don't eat those liquids.

Speaker 166 No, but but still, I mean.

Speaker 39 You're getting rid of the liquids.

Speaker 105 Yeah.

Speaker 215 Like purging them, we call it purging. And now they're like clean or whatever.
So if you boil them, then you don't end up with shit in that water.

Speaker 165 Yep.

Speaker 215 Because you've already de-shitted them.

Speaker 170 Yeah, you've already de-shitted them beforehand.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 45 So like when you get a prawn and there's the poop line.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 45 If they gave them some salt, then there wouldn't be a prawn line.

Speaker 167 They would have shot already.

Speaker 177 Yeah.

Speaker 215 I hate the poop line.

Speaker 215 I hate when you're eating something and then you get really into it or like comfortable eating it and then you remember like oh man, I wonder if they took the poop out and they didn't and you've already eaten so much shrimp shit.

Speaker 180 Yeah.

Speaker 132 It was so sad.

Speaker 170 How much shrimp shit do you think you've eaten if you were to like estimate?

Speaker 215 Like one, two ounces.

Speaker 148 Yeah,

Speaker 148 but in your whole life.

Speaker 150 Yeah, I'd say.

Speaker 2 Like a little, like a shot glass full.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 68 Yeah.

Speaker 215 Because I've been pretty good about cleaning it myself.

Speaker 179 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 170 If you were given the option, like at the start of your life, to like either you're just gonna eat it every now and again, yeah,

Speaker 165 or you can get it all out the way in one go.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 170 At the start, in the shot glass, if you want to, what you're gonna choose.

Speaker 215 I think I'm just gonna take it, take it as it comes, yeah?

Speaker 148 Yeah, yeah, bit by bit.

Speaker 53 Yeah,

Speaker 215 someone's offering me some kind of monetary reward for drinking a shot glass full of shrimp shit.

Speaker 215 I'm just gonna let it happen as it happens.

Speaker 208 One of the most expensive dinners I ever had was

Speaker 208 a place exactly like him. It's called Alvin Lung, and he used to call himself,

Speaker 208 he's going to hear this, I don't care, Alvin Lung, the demon chef.

Speaker 46 Alvin will listen to our podcast.

Speaker 208 And Alvin's, all the photos of him were these

Speaker 208 big cockswinging photos of him, like holding knives and like saying the journey he was going to take.

Speaker 137 Smashing pop-a-dums.

Speaker 63 Smashing pop-a-doms, yeah.

Speaker 208 And he, um, uh, so I went for dinner there, and that was one of those where

Speaker 208 every so often they'd bring like one tiny little dim sum in, like with some kind of incredibly expensive caviar on it.

Speaker 125 Yeah, and you know,

Speaker 208 at the end, it cost, it was about £600 for two, and it sent me into this spiral of actual genuine depression, right?

Speaker 208 Like, for days, I just kept thinking about like how many shoes that would that would you know pay for for inner-city children in tower hamlets kind of thing.

Speaker 208 But one of the causes of that, you're talking about being playful. And he said

Speaker 208 there was what the pudding was called Sex on the Beach, right?

Speaker 208 And what he'd done was he'd got a pile of kind of sugar and made it into sand, so it looked like sand. And then he'd got

Speaker 208 sugar spun something that looked like a condom

Speaker 203 and he'd injected

Speaker 203 sugar syrup semen into it

Speaker 208 and then just draped it over the sand. And

Speaker 199 it was a playful take on when he used to live beside a beach and people used to have sex.

Speaker 69 Oh, playful. It's gross.

Speaker 95 And how he got around it. Before they asked, before

Speaker 199 they served it, they said, it's a little bit risque.

Speaker 203 I hope you're not going to be offended.

Speaker 208 And of course, I'm not going to be offended from Carlisle, you know,

Speaker 63 seen it all.

Speaker 37 And I should apologise to Sean.

Speaker 37 I made it sound like she made me feel sick with that moment.

Speaker 37 That was you, James.

Speaker 133 Yep, guilty as charged.

Speaker 12 And I'll say it again in a second.

Speaker 137 You were the one who wanted to turn the magician's liquid into piss. Piss.

Speaker 37 It was a lovely moment, though.

Speaker 150 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 57 But you know what, Ed?

Speaker 48 It's been such a nice time looking back on all the memories of the podcast.

Speaker 142 But you know what?

Speaker 106 You know what?

Speaker 146 And I'm going to read this exactly as Benito has written it on the paper.

Speaker 82 Please.

Speaker 46 Largely, the podcast is about having a fun time.

Speaker 204 That's what is written.

Speaker 101 That's That's what Benito likes.

Speaker 53 That's what you've written.

Speaker 33 That's our link.

Speaker 146 Largely, the podcast is about having a fun time.

Speaker 37 And I think the people who best illustrate the podcast being a fun time, thank you, Benito, are Susie Ruffle, Cindu V, Jack McBray, Nishkuma, Kamal Nanjiani, Richard Osman, Jem McKearney, and Josie Long.

Speaker 146 So, in the words of the great Benito, largely the podcast is about having a fun time.

Speaker 166 Like now, this is the funnest time I've ever had.

Speaker 43 His little face.

Speaker 146 I would find it very hard to say to the people, I want to go to the sushi samba in the shard.

Speaker 146 It's a quite a tongue twister, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 38 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 47 I would like the sashimi from the sushi shamba.

Speaker 61 I would like the shashimi from the sushi samba in the shard.

Speaker 9 Susie likes sashimi from the sushi.

Speaker 73 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 131 Here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 17 Do you know what?

Speaker 192 I also think that I might change the restaurant, but carry on with this.

Speaker 53 Yeah, but there's another restaurant that I really enjoy.

Speaker 64 We might have to change the restaurant.

Speaker 92 We'll all try and say this.

Speaker 46 Okay. We'll all try and say this.

Speaker 75 So tuna.

Speaker 61 So it's Susie likes Shashimi from the sushi samba in the shard is the full sentence.

Speaker 101 And that was not perfect.

Speaker 47 But like Susie likes shashimi from the sushi.

Speaker 143 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 192 Susie likes sashimi from the sushi

Speaker 192 from sushi samba in the shard.

Speaker 106 Oh, it's hard, isn't it?

Speaker 201 It is hard.

Speaker 61 Susie likes sashimi from the sushi samba in the shard.

Speaker 67 It's also in heron tower, so.

Speaker 82 Oh, okay.

Speaker 98 Yeah, but still.

Speaker 131 I'm also.

Speaker 213 That nostalgia, but all food. I mean, as my mother says,

Speaker 213 you know, which means, I should translate, that to the hungry person, even the doorway looks like crisps.

Speaker 155 You're so hungry.

Speaker 78 Sounded wiser, sounded wiser beforehand.

Speaker 98 Before you translated it, it sounded a lot wiser.

Speaker 82 I thought, what is this

Speaker 109 wise old parable that we're about to be told?

Speaker 144 It's allegedly.

Speaker 53 It's raw.

Speaker 72 Even the doorway looks like crisps.

Speaker 192 Well, but you're so hungry, you'll eat anything.

Speaker 11 Sure, sure.

Speaker 125 Even the doorway.

Speaker 46 To the hungry person.

Speaker 103 When you said it initially,

Speaker 95 we both nodded and we were like very respectfully.

Speaker 92 We both respectfully nodded.

Speaker 107 That sounds so wise.

Speaker 63 It sounds so wise.

Speaker 53 It sounds just

Speaker 53 puff up to me, you know.

Speaker 47 The tiger has not eaten a kill.

Speaker 121 It's literally the equivalent of in a cartoon where someone's hungry and they see their friend as a big roast chicken.

Speaker 96 There you go, it's exactly because you're s ⁇

Speaker 87 We got corn on the cop.

Speaker 170 What else have you got on there again?

Speaker 165 What did he say?

Speaker 53 Corn on the cob. Call on the cob.

Speaker 13 Oh, corn on the cop.

Speaker 46 I thought you said we're calling the cops.

Speaker 14 Like, why?

Speaker 108 Jack, we're calling the cops. Bad luck.

Speaker 53 What about luck? What am I done?

Speaker 63 Thought about the almonds?

Speaker 98 Yeah. Actually, do you know what?

Speaker 152 Hold on, this is a bad aspect almonds.

Speaker 53 We're calling the cops.

Speaker 46 That's the new thing on the podcast now.

Speaker 69 We're gonna call the cops on people.

Speaker 82 That is gonna going to be a new thing, actually.

Speaker 195 We've got to be

Speaker 107 when we like

Speaker 71 during the meal.

Speaker 83 Also, we've got, have we got, if we've got the audio of Jack saying we're calling the cops isolated,

Speaker 143 we can pull that out every time a guest steps out of line.

Speaker 83 We can just play Jack saying we're calling the cops.

Speaker 143 And it's in such a way.

Speaker 156 I'm going to make a mint after this.

Speaker 198 In between Christmas and New Year's, I had a peach cobbler at a place called Jackson and Rye. Yes, and they don't do it anymore.
Yes.

Speaker 198 And it's my favourite dessert. And I've stopped going to that restaurant.

Speaker 198 I refused to eat there until they reintroduced the cobbler. It was a peach cobbler, and they used to have vanilla custard with it.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 198 And it was so goddamn delicious.

Speaker 93 Yep.

Speaker 55 I'll see you eat that cobbler. Yeah.

Speaker 144 I absolutely love that cobbler. He loves it.

Speaker 99 I love it. I eat that cobbler.

Speaker 9 He was so happy about it.

Speaker 86 He was talking about, you know, when someone is on their way to a place to eat,

Speaker 86 and instead of just like, they're so excited about what they're going to have, they can't just talk about normal everyday things. All they can talk about is the cobbler.

Speaker 143 So all he was doing was walking through London talking about the cobbler

Speaker 98 and how much he loves the cobbler.

Speaker 118 And then he sat down and ate it, and there was in no way an anti-climax for him.

Speaker 77 It was exactly, it's as good as he always remembered it.

Speaker 103 But the saddest day was when it, because it was close to refurbishment, and then it opened again.

Speaker 2 And then he was like, let's go.

Speaker 130 It's back.

Speaker 189 I remember going in with you, and they didn't have the cobbler anymore.

Speaker 47 And instead, we just sat at a table and had some drinks.

Speaker 146 And there was a table near us, I think, who were quite loud.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 159 So, like, the whole vibe of the vent of the place changed.

Speaker 98 And it was a sad day.

Speaker 198 It was a sad day.

Speaker 10 Did you ask them about the cobbler?

Speaker 150 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 117 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Immediately. They said, oh, we've changed the menu around.

Speaker 198 And I was like, well, why don't you change this menu to say, go fuck yourselves?

Speaker 198 But it was, yeah, because like one year after.

Speaker 161 It was an extra strong reaction.

Speaker 130 After closing.

Speaker 10 So when you say you don't go there anymore, is it because you're bad?

Speaker 105 I love that.

Speaker 126 They started doing the cobbler again.

Speaker 54 I love it.

Speaker 63 It's really good.

Speaker 198 But yeah, one Christmas,

Speaker 118 I was back.

Speaker 198 I'd come back from spending the time with my family between Christmas and New Year's. And New Year's Eve, we had dinner at Jackson and Rye before we went to some New Year's Eve parties.

Speaker 198 And I ate the cobbler and I was like, this is the greatest New Year's ever. I love the cobbler.
It's a dynamite cobbler.

Speaker 3 Dynamite.

Speaker 165 What set it apart from other...

Speaker 46 Like, is there something that...

Speaker 82 Have you had other cobblers before?

Speaker 91 I've had a couple of other cobblers, but not in America.

Speaker 198 I think this is the problem, is that I haven't had a cobbler in America.

Speaker 42 Cobbler's like a sort of deep south dessert.

Speaker 198 Yeah, it's a very, like, yeah, it's a very American dessert. But so I think I need to, I think it's, I've not had the real stuff.
Cobbler is like...

Speaker 171 How would you describe it?

Speaker 105 It's the dessert.

Speaker 78 It's kind of like a crumble, but with a different topping.

Speaker 99 It's less crumbly.

Speaker 197 So imagine like a crumble that is just like that topping as like more of a rock face than a

Speaker 154 sandy beach.

Speaker 9 But it's like it's sort of like a soft cake.

Speaker 212 It's kind of somewhere between a cake and a crumble, yeah.

Speaker 56 A cake pastry crumble.

Speaker 124 That's right, yeah.

Speaker 198 That's what it is, yeah.

Speaker 89 And then the piece of fruit underneath it.

Speaker 2 Stewed fruit, like

Speaker 198 peach, delicious peach. Delicious.
Absolutely amazing. And then the vanilla custard is the like, that's an example where it's like the equivalent of putting pancetta on just

Speaker 51 uh

Speaker 198 brussels. No, no, no, because both the constituents, it's like putting pancetta on bacon, it's like bacon-fried pancetta, yeah, sure.

Speaker 9 It's delicious, everything

Speaker 101 is delicious, it's like bacon-fried pancetta and it's a custard on peach cobbler is like bacon-fried pancetta.

Speaker 198 Yeah, it's the most, it's everything is delicious.

Speaker 46 Made with real vanilla pods, the vanilla custard?

Speaker 198 I didn't ask. There were blackberries in it, yes, there were blackbecks in it.

Speaker 119 Yeah, then it's made of it.

Speaker 3 I've always got to use the real pods to get it.

Speaker 198 Absolutely delicious.

Speaker 83 What a dessert.

Speaker 198 Oh, man. Because, I mean,

Speaker 198 you know, because it is good to have a Christmas dessert, but Christmas pudding is like, I cannot get on board with it. The thing is, it's too fun to not do.

Speaker 198 And so every year that we did it, my parents were like, my aunt and uncle were like, let's stop doing it. And then everyone's like, yeah, but at the beginning, it's like, woo.

Speaker 76 I mean, you could just set a plate on fire.

Speaker 95 I don't know.

Speaker 12 But there's something really satisfying about the way it like it's like woo it's on fire but it's not on fire

Speaker 84 it is on fire it is on fire but it's not not in a bad way you could do something right

Speaker 46 to replace it with a different you could um set fire to like an effigy of pierce morgan yeah merry christmas and all

Speaker 198 just eat that bundle

Speaker 42 rejoice in it it's pretty cruel nish for your dessert to you've described it so eloquently and you've painted a real picture and i can almost feel like i can taste it but it's been discontinued discontinued well now you know how my now you understand my pain.

Speaker 56 You've given everyone your curse of the peach cobbler. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 86 Jackson and I have not had the courtesy to put the recipe online.

Speaker 99 Some places do that.

Speaker 61 There's a place called Honey Trap in New Zealand in Auckland, and they did the best beef brisket sandwich.

Speaker 198 Oh, yeah, I remember you.

Speaker 10 Incredibles with this red cabbage coleslaw and these amazing pickles in them.

Speaker 47 And then they stopped it all shut, but then they put the recipe online.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 130 So me and my girlfriend at the time were able to have a go at properly making it at New Year's Eve.

Speaker 38 Well, I think

Speaker 42 Nish needs this peach cobbler.

Speaker 10 So listeners, I want you to tweet Jackson and Rai.

Speaker 167 Yes, let's make this happen.

Speaker 182 Hashtag bring back the cobbler.

Speaker 180 Bring back the cobbler.

Speaker 136 But not the Adam Sandler film. No, not the Abbott.

Speaker 79 Okay,

Speaker 182 bring back Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 53 Bring back Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 144 Love's cobbler.

Speaker 10 And petition to rename it Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 64 Yeah, so bring it back and put it on the menu.

Speaker 6 They've got to name it Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 149 We know you're listening out there and we know you like to get involved.

Speaker 10 Tweet Jackson and Rye.

Speaker 42 Jackson, the traditional way, and the traditional way.

Speaker 3 R-Y-E.

Speaker 45 Yes.

Speaker 7 Jackson and Rye.

Speaker 56 Bring back Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 126 It's based in London, Soho.

Speaker 55 Bring back Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 52 Bring back Kumar's Cobbler.

Speaker 196 So, this Biryani, so Biryani has been my favorite food. My whole life.
Yeah.

Speaker 196 This is true. When I was...
My parents have called me Kamal Biryani instead of Kamal Nanchiani for many, many years. They said when I was two years old, this is my two years old.

Speaker 196 Apparently, my grandmother cooked some biryani and it was a big, big

Speaker 196 dinner party. And they found me sitting in the pot of biryani, eating it with my hands.

Speaker 196 They told me this. I found out decades later it was a lie.

Speaker 196 That did not happen. My dad just said it to like make my mom laugh, which I'm like, you guys have been married for decades, so I think you don't need to flirt anymore.

Speaker 51 The deal is sealed. It's in the bag, dad.

Speaker 196 And so, so, so, but that was my origin story.

Speaker 36 I was like, oh, this is why I don't like it.

Speaker 11 That superhero origin story.

Speaker 95 You fell into a pan of biryani.

Speaker 39 I just love the flavor of it.

Speaker 196 So there's like, it's layers, right?

Speaker 196 I know I'm regressing because that's the best I could come up with. I like the flavor of it.

Speaker 159 Yeah.

Speaker 75 No, no, no.

Speaker 37 As soon as you laugh at me, your family calling you Kamal Biryani, I was like, James is not going to stop laughing at me.

Speaker 159 Yeah, I can't stop laughing at you being called Kamal Biryani.

Speaker 83 I can't also, when you said about falling into the pot of biryani and being found eating it,

Speaker 46 and just the fact it was a lie, that you were being told it.

Speaker 83 So, like, I always imagine the lies like when you came out and you were sitting in that pot and you'd eat all the biryani, and you were two years old, but you looked up at us and you said, More, please.

Speaker 53 Yeah, your first words were, biryani, more please

Speaker 144 all lies

Speaker 36 and then my dad when i told him when he he was like when he told me it was a lie it wasn't like i have to tell you something he was like it was very dismissive he's like yeah it was a lie i was like what and he's like yeah imagine how hot a pot of biryani is you think you crawled in there and if a pot is full there's no room for you to crawl in so he's like just the physics doesn't work

Speaker 196 you know how when you're a little kid you hear something and then you don't question the the logic of it.

Speaker 196 And then in your 20s

Speaker 196 you look at it again and you're like, oh no, there's no way that could have happened.

Speaker 56 It's like a pet going to live on a farm.

Speaker 117 Exactly. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3 But it's a baby sitting in a pot of viriana.

Speaker 11 So it's layers.

Speaker 18 It's layers.

Speaker 71 Take us through the layers.

Speaker 196 And so at the bottom is sort of the potatoes and

Speaker 196 the curry and the meat and you cook that first and then you put raw rice on it and then you cover it up so that when it cooks all the fragrance of the curry sort of cooks through the rice.

Speaker 196 It's very slow-cooked. And

Speaker 196 so there's rice on top, which is mostly plain rice. Then, as you get, I'm having trouble.

Speaker 196 As you get closer to the bottom, the rice becomes more and more flavorful, and you can start seeing the colors of the

Speaker 196 base in the rice as you get to the bottom. And then at the bottom is the most flavor.
So, when you're getting biryani, you have to sort of go straight down.

Speaker 196 Yeah, yeah, so you get all the different layers of it. So you get you want to get some of the plain rice just to mix it up.

Speaker 196 Then you get the flavorful rice, and then at the bottom, you get that. And then,

Speaker 180 God, I'm struggling.

Speaker 196 And then there's, you get enough potatoes. And I don't know how my grandmother did it, but her potatoes had flavors right through the middle, and they would be very orange, like, like, not yellow.

Speaker 196 So, whatever she was doing to it was like changing the color of the potatoes. And the potatoes are very, they're very soft, these potatoes they melt in your mouth

Speaker 196 has this recipe been passed down your family so my mother makes it too and my mother's is very very very good yeah my mother is probably the best cook i know other than my grandmother

Speaker 18 but

Speaker 196 there is maybe a five percent difference three percent uh sure my grandmother's is three percent better

Speaker 196 and i can't tell you what the difference is but if you blindfold me i would be able to pick them up you better know yeah it's not just a psychological thing

Speaker 196 There is a very, very small difference.

Speaker 189 Imagine if we blindfotted you to do the taste test.

Speaker 148 Well, you took the blindfold off, you were sitting in a pot of beer.

Speaker 53 We've done it. Oh, my God.

Speaker 81 Oh, that would be amazing.

Speaker 196 And so, if you see my plate, as I said, I'm working from least to favorite.

Speaker 196 I will always have a huge, so I'll get two big pieces of potato. I'll get meat, I'll get all that stuff.
One piece of potato to eat with each bite. So each bite is there's some

Speaker 196 plain rice. There's some of the flavorful rice.
Then there's some of the really good juicy stuff

Speaker 196 and a piece of the potato. So every bite has sort of everything in it and then I'm leaving one piece of potato.
all the way at the end.

Speaker 196 So when I finish everything else, all that's left is one piece of potato.

Speaker 56 That's the headliner.

Speaker 36 Yes, it's the headliner.

Speaker 196 It's orange right to the middle. And then I eat that very, very slowly.

Speaker 146 What do you say before you eat it?

Speaker 196 I'm not saying much of anything.

Speaker 165 You'll say, like,

Speaker 117 here we go.

Speaker 169 Yeah, I made it.

Speaker 3 Or it's all been built into this.

Speaker 121 Kamal Biryani strikes again?

Speaker 204 Yeah, that'd be great if you say that.

Speaker 125 The Kamal Biryani strikes again.

Speaker 216 Which is a shame because I like some bread at the start of a meal. So do I.
Because when else do you eat bits of bread?

Speaker 49 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 55 You don't eat a big lump of bread.

Speaker 216 You'd never at home just go, I'm hungry. I'm going to eat some bread and then I'll have some food.

Speaker 55 Is it dinner time? Yeah.

Speaker 156 Did you dip it in some oil?

Speaker 49 No, I don't really like that.

Speaker 216 I'm quite fussy.

Speaker 216 I don't like it when they bring out things I don't really know what it is.

Speaker 87 You know what oil is, though, right?

Speaker 216 I know what... Yeah, but

Speaker 189 come on. I can point this computer up.

Speaker 77 Don't you know what oil is?

Speaker 207 I think I do.

Speaker 216 Although, define oil.

Speaker 87 I've got him here, James.

Speaker 49 Well, it's impossible to define it.

Speaker 76 There's many different oils.

Speaker 169 Olive oil.

Speaker 216 I didn't say name some oils.

Speaker 49 Right.

Speaker 180 I said, Define oil.

Speaker 174 Liquid fat.

Speaker 165 Yeah?

Speaker 216 Well, no, petroleum isn't liquid fat, is it?

Speaker 10 No, but they're not going to bring you out a bit of petroleum, are they?

Speaker 216 Oh, he's absolutely dodging the question.

Speaker 49 What was the question?

Speaker 189 Define oil. Define oil.
Yeah, but why am I defining oil? I can't remember why I'm defining it now.

Speaker 216 Because you said you know what oil is, don't you?

Speaker 150 Yeah. But you know what?

Speaker 92 I'm asking you.

Speaker 10 When they present you with some oil, you know what that is.

Speaker 49 Well, I suppose so.

Speaker 3 Anyway, I don't like it.

Speaker 67 To the next notch. Yeah.

Speaker 86 Who's arrived at the party?

Speaker 51 Oh.

Speaker 49 When the madras walks through the door, what human form is it taking?

Speaker 197 Alright, it's taking the form of

Speaker 37 Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 98 Snoop Dogg is the Madras.

Speaker 167 Snoop Dogg's the Madras.

Speaker 95 Here comes Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 100 That would be a livener.

Speaker 53 Yeah, that would be a livener.

Speaker 129 I feel like suddenly I've got a lot more energy.

Speaker 122 But what I would say about Snoop Dogg is I'm sure he's great at a party, but I would never describe him as a livener.

Speaker 45 I feel like a lot of his public persona is actually quite relaxed

Speaker 45 for various reasons.

Speaker 164 Yeah, but he's Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 95 Yeah, everyone will definitely be like, oh my god, Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 96 It's Snoop Dogg.

Speaker 86 And then when suddenly the party's now buzzing.

Speaker 174 I'm imagining him because he's a lamb madrasse walking in with a little lamb under his arm.

Speaker 126 Snooped on with a lamb. Yeah.

Speaker 164 I wouldn't even be that surprised.

Speaker 95 I don't know why.

Speaker 53 You'd be like, oh, he's got a lamb. He's got a pet lamb.

Speaker 71 Snooped lamb now.

Speaker 98 Check his name yet again.

Speaker 95 Sure.

Speaker 37 But I know what you mean.

Speaker 40 It's still, yeah, it feels like a treat.

Speaker 42 I wouldn't normally have it, but now and again, if I do it, I'll always make the dad joke of going, like, why not?

Speaker 52 Let's splash out, have some sparkling water.

Speaker 11 I do mean that deep down.

Speaker 77 Lizzie's going to be such a good dad.

Speaker 152 Oh, 100%.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I'll make the joke about sparkling water all the time.

Speaker 127 You need to make your jokes regularly and forever.

Speaker 71 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 24 I'm cool.

Speaker 127 Hi, Cool. I'm Dad.

Speaker 111 You know.

Speaker 75 I haven't heard that one before.

Speaker 98 Genuinely like that. That was a not in the

Speaker 181 laugh.

Speaker 190 One of my favourites that I do now, and I'll be doing it as a dad as well, is

Speaker 2 when they bring all the food to the table, I'll say, what's everyone else having?

Speaker 95 Oh, lovely.

Speaker 107 Lovely.

Speaker 68 Oh, you've just finished the whole meal.

Speaker 43 Yeah. Well, that was the start of them.

Speaker 53 Yeah, yeah, perfect.

Speaker 11 Perfect.

Speaker 107 Oh,

Speaker 202 you finished the entire meal.

Speaker 68 They come to pick up your plate.

Speaker 74 Couldn't eat a mouthful of it.

Speaker 128 Absolutely disgusting.

Speaker 141 Yeah, that's a classic.

Speaker 79 You go, oh no, I hated that.

Speaker 49 Hated it.

Speaker 9 When it's Halloween, if someone's dressed up, they've got a mask on, and Dad had go, Well, you put your costume on, yeah.

Speaker 192 Or they take the mask off, and they go, Take the mask off.

Speaker 54 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 166 Or

Speaker 42 you're on the phone, you have a really long conversation, and you put it down, you go, wrong number.

Speaker 139 Yeah, wrong number.

Speaker 53 I do that all the time.

Speaker 195 I can't help with it.

Speaker 95 On that tour, you did that all the time.

Speaker 190 Actually, when I was on tour with Greg Davis, whenever we had a meal and the waiter came over, his joke would be, oh, mine was delicious, but he ate his.

Speaker 53 Oh, bit harsh.

Speaker 63 Bad boss.

Speaker 53 Bad boss.

Speaker 111 Evil boss.

Speaker 79 He learned everything he knows from you.

Speaker 202 He never tried to dunk you in the sea, though, did he?

Speaker 16 This is Hannah Berner from Giggly Squad. OPIL is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

Speaker 16 Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women face barriers to access prescription birth control.

Speaker 16 Between scheduling appointments, missing work, class, or just trying to exist, it's a lot. But now OPIL is putting birth control in our control.

Speaker 16 OPIL is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen-free, and 98% effective when used as directed.

Speaker 16 Grab it online, or at most major retailers, no prescription or doctor's appointment needed. So if you're thinking about birth control, check out OPIL to see if it's right for you.

Speaker 16 Use code GIGLI for 25% off your first month of OPIL at opi.com. That's code GIGLIE at opi.com.
Birth control in your control. We love to see it.

Speaker 175 Ever wonder why you have insurance for your car or home, but not your digital life? Meet Webroot Total Protection, your digital bodyguard that is built for real life.

Speaker 175 Webroot takes the guessing game out of cybersecurity so you can confidently browse, bank, and be yourself online without the worry of hackers lurking around the corner.

Speaker 175 With Webroot Total Protection, you get antivirus that scans six times faster and takes up 33 times less space than the other guys.

Speaker 175 Identity protection with up to $1 million in fraud expense reimbursement and 24-7 U.S.-based customer support. VPN protection that hides your IP address, personal data, and location from hackers.

Speaker 175 And cloud backup with unlimited storage that works automatically in the background. With plans for individuals and families, Webroot makes it easy to live a better digital life.

Speaker 175 Go to webroot.com forward slash promo and get 50% off today. That's webroot.com slash promo to get 50% off today.
Live a better digital life with Webroot because peace of mind shouldn't be optional.

Speaker 165 Oh, there you go.

Speaker 37 What a fun time.

Speaker 41 So much fun.

Speaker 54 Largely.

Speaker 129 Largely, I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 48 Oh, hey, I hope you've had fun listening to the podcast over the year, listeners.

Speaker 129 And I'll tell you what, we couldn't do it without you.

Speaker 48 We really appreciate your support. It means a lot to us.

Speaker 37 It does indeed. Thank you.
Thank you for all your lovely messages about the podcast. We love hearing that you're enjoying it.

Speaker 37 I hope you've had a lovely 2019. If you haven't, don't worry, it's 2020, Sue.

Speaker 48 Yeah, yeah, 2020 is coming up. I hope you have a lovely 2020 for me, Ed, and the Great Bonito.
We all hope you have a lovely and prosperous 2020.

Speaker 37 And we'll be back very soon for Series 3, so don't worry about that. But to play us out, to say goodbye, here's a little something that the great Benito has edited together.

Speaker 37 Popped up bed,

Speaker 37 popped up

Speaker 32 some bread, Jess.

Speaker 31 Popped up some bread.

Speaker 19 Popped up every time.

Speaker 96 Popped up some bread, actually.

Speaker 99 Yeah, popped up bread.

Speaker 150 Pop dumbs or bread, bread. Fuck.

Speaker 159 My level of effervescence.

Speaker 101 Pop an arms or bread, Jay.

Speaker 31 Pop and logs or bread.

Speaker 206 Well, it depends where you are, James.

Speaker 9 You're here in the dream restaurant, Jay.

Speaker 61 Right, so you've got the party started.

Speaker 125 Pop an arms or bread. Pop and lobs or bread, Jimmy.

Speaker 164 Pop and numbs or bread. I'm gonna go with pop and dumps, please.

Speaker 3 Yeah? Yes. I'm big time going sparkling.

Speaker 75 Yeah.

Speaker 186 Pop numbs or bread.

Speaker 151 Pop an arms or bread, Jamie.

Speaker 70 Now, this is where I'm starting to wish it was just me.

Speaker 54 Yes.

Speaker 146 Also, I have to ask you.

Speaker 97 Pop an arms or bread, Joel!

Speaker 97 Pop it up some bread!

Speaker 87 Such an angry genie.

Speaker 29 Pop it arms or bread, darling! Oh jeez. Pop it up so bread.

Speaker 28 God, you pick your moment.

Speaker 171 Even when you know it's happening. Even when you was fully aware that this is going to happen at some stage.
I mean, it's not even an issue, it's Brett.

Speaker 28 But,

Speaker 126 oh, wow.

Speaker 69 That is

Speaker 94 surprisingly aggressive.

Speaker 9 Uh uh Josie.

Speaker 53 Uh popcoms up's on bread Josie.

Speaker 29 Pop it up's on bread.

Speaker 192 Oh, this has come out of nowhere.

Speaker 71 Uh next.

Speaker 111 Poppin' um's on bread.

Speaker 53 Poppin' umzor bread.

Speaker 91 Okay.

Speaker 38 Pop it up soft bread.

Speaker 32 Pop it up soft bread.

Speaker 43 I mean, it's

Speaker 31 very alarming. It's like.

Speaker 38 Yeah. Pop it up soft bread.
Pop it up's all bread.

Speaker 107 Pop their dumbs.

Speaker 122 I do watch what I eat because of that and I know what, like, pizza's an absolute nightmare.

Speaker 67 Yeah, yeah. because like the blood sugar goes up and down, bearing in mind the carbs and the fat and all that.
It's all boring scientific stuff.

Speaker 120 Pop it up so bread, Johnny. Pop it up as all bread.

Speaker 120 Pop it up as all bread.

Speaker 120 Pop it up so bread.

Speaker 32 Pop it ups or bread, Dad's right. Pop numbs or bread.

Speaker 130 Um, okay, my goodness.

Speaker 32 Pop it on so bread, Jack.

Speaker 99 Pop it up as old bread.

Speaker 78 What is he saying?

Speaker 32 Pop it up so bread.

Speaker 166 Poppet pop is off the bread?

Speaker 185 What is the thing?

Speaker 31 Poppers off the bread.

Speaker 96 Pop an ups or bread.

Speaker 79 Pop an episode of bread.

Speaker 112 Poppin' ups or bread, Evelyn.

Speaker 32 Pop it up's all bread.

Speaker 66 Love it when it still scares people.

Speaker 79 Evelyn got a little scared there. You really got scared.

Speaker 140 I got really scared.

Speaker 27 I had to hold my face.

Speaker 43 That was very scary.

Speaker 7 Comes up.

Speaker 52 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Bread or pop a dumbs, Richard!

Speaker 31 Say again. Bread or pop a dumbs.

Speaker 152 Oh, bread or pop-a-dums.

Speaker 122 Yeah. You'll never taste the devil's jism.

Speaker 37 You're a lovely lad.

Speaker 31 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 32 Pop it ups or bread, Victoria.

Speaker 186 Pop it ups or bread.

Speaker 142 What? I mean, is it...

Speaker 40 Am I having a curry?

Speaker 75 Just get you all those.

Speaker 186 Easy. Pop-a-dums or bread.
Pop-dums or bread, Camail.

Speaker 38 Pop-a-dumps or bread.

Speaker 112 There you go. Pop-a-dumbs or bread.

Speaker 29 Pop-a-dums or bread, Loyal Cana.

Speaker 38 Pop-a-dums.

Speaker 75 Pop-a-dums.

Speaker 94 Yeah.

Speaker 105 I like a pop-a-dom, man.

Speaker 122 Can we just say, I think Loyal goes straight into the top three if people absolutely taking that in his stride.

Speaker 65 Yeah, absolutely didn't care.

Speaker 64 Did not budge one inch when you shouted that.

Speaker 185 Yeah, pop-dums or bread.

Speaker 125 Pop-dums or bread, Mike.

Speaker 91 Pop-dums or bread.

Speaker 165 dumbs or bread?

Speaker 57 Bubbly. Bubbly, though.

Speaker 165 Bubbly, so bubbly.

Speaker 151 Pop dumps or bread. Pop dumps or bread, Sophie.

Speaker 125 Pop-lumps or bread.

Speaker 201 Not poppa dums, I don't like poppa dumbs.

Speaker 95 What?

Speaker 34 What? Mm-mm.

Speaker 99 Fair enough.

Speaker 98 Pop-dums or bread, Sydney.

Speaker 186 Pop-dums or bread.

Speaker 16 What's the first word?

Speaker 75 Pop-a-dums. Oh, pop-burd.

Speaker 213 Right. Huh? Pop-burd.
That's what it's called.

Speaker 32 Okay, cool. Pop-dums or bread, Susie.

Speaker 43 Uh, poppa dums?

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 86 But that's fine.

Speaker 30 Uh, and a pop-dums or bread!

Speaker 186 Pop a dumbs or bread, Christian.

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 31 Pop-a-doms or bread!

Speaker 141 That is always shouted.

Speaker 196 It's a fine line.

Speaker 111 Pop-a-doms or bread, Carrie! Pop-a-doms or bread!

Speaker 192 Pop-a-doms?

Speaker 112 Is it an Indian restaurant? Pop-a-doms or bread!

Speaker 53 Bread! Now, Lolly.

Speaker 185 Yes.

Speaker 96 Pop-doms or bread.

Speaker 98 You made Benito jump, Benito knew it was coming.

Speaker 31 Pop-doms or bread! Couldn't relate. Pop-a-dumbs or bread, Jordan! Pop-a-dums or bread!

Speaker 195 I knew it was coming as well!

Speaker 32 Pop-doms or bread!

Speaker 32 Pop lobs or bread, Keva! Oh, bread, bread!

Speaker 99 Pop lobs or bread!

Speaker 99 Pop it up some bread, Tom!

Speaker 65 Pop lobs or bread, Serge! Pop nubs or bread!

Speaker 49 Oh man.

Speaker 122 Big question now, James.

Speaker 47 Oh yeah, let me ask you this, Phil.

Speaker 47 Pop it up some bread, Phil!

Speaker 47 Pop it ups or bread!

Speaker 108 Something, please.

Speaker 96 Pop nubs or bread! Pop loves or bread, Marcus! Pop nobs or bread!

Speaker 65 Pop beds or bread!

Speaker 78 Only a snowy bread.

Speaker 193 I don't know, that's the one that stuck. Shannon Sharnage.

Speaker 211 That's another extra.

Speaker 112 Pop numbs or bread!

Speaker 32 Pop nums or bread, Shannon!

Speaker 112 Pop nums or bread!

Speaker 112 Pop nums or bread!

Speaker 96 Popped ups or bread, Rose!

Speaker 43 Pop a dumbs or bread! Pop a dumb?

Speaker 112 Also, Pop Lums or bread, Selassie!

Speaker 29 Pop a dumbs or bread!

Speaker 177 Ooh.

Speaker 98 Again, the only person completely not phased by me shouting.

Speaker 84 I don't flinch whatsoever.

Speaker 13 I mean, for the listener,

Speaker 98 I think it is so unfair that

Speaker 94 the listener did not get to see that because

Speaker 101 normally I shout it at people and they're a bit startled, they didn't quite expect it.

Speaker 48 So Lassie not only didn't flinch, didn't move a muscle, he maintained eye contact with me the whole time.

Speaker 94 He looked right at me and then

Speaker 53 pop thumbs on bread.

Speaker 32 Put it on the bread, Daisy. Bread.

Speaker 108 Christ.

Speaker 32 Proper jumped.

Speaker 73 Really jumped, didn't you? Yeah, I did.

Speaker 146 That's good.

Speaker 47 Haven't had a jumper in a while.

Speaker 10 So it's not Barrata is not going to be your starter.

Speaker 152 No, it's not. No, Pop-A-N's or Bread, Jump.

Speaker 53 Yes!

Speaker 143 Yes!

Speaker 204 Of course, Lysip would be the one who would have loaded in the cannon, almost like you knew I was going to...

Speaker 98 Obviously, you knew that I was going to shout it at you, but it's like you knew I was going to do it then. Yeah.

Speaker 86 Also, Nish.

Speaker 124 Pop it ups or bread, Nish!

Speaker 96 Pop it ups or bread!

Speaker 198 What do you think I'm going to say?

Speaker 155 I don't know. Pop alums, mate.

Speaker 105 Yes, pop-a-doms.

Speaker 198 I'm not an animal.

Speaker 106 I do love a break.

Speaker 92 By the way, I feel like I should point out we ask this to everyone.

Speaker 19 You check your feed and your account.

Speaker 21 You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

Speaker 21 You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

Speaker 21 so you check all that but you don't check to see what your ride options are in this economy next time check lift

Speaker 1 oh hi james have you heard the news oh yeah go on you and i are modern boys because the off menu podcast is now on youtube this is embarrassing Why is it embarrassing, man? You love YouTube.

Speaker 5 I love watching clips on YouTube. Sure.

Speaker 8 Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes. But it's embarrassing, man.

Speaker 1 It's not embarrassing at all. It's really cool.
We're on YouTube with the great and good. The coolest people in the world are on YouTube.

Speaker 117 Me, you, Logan Paul.

Speaker 133 Who's Logan Paul, the dad from Succession?

Speaker 8 At Off Menu Podcast.

Speaker 4 That's what Benito's calling us now.

Speaker 37 And we're on TikTok.

Speaker 8 This is embarrassing, man.

Speaker 1 It's not embarrassing, man. We're cool.
We're like Olivia Rodrigo.

Speaker 4 And Ed. People have been asking us, badgering us, bothering us, actually.

Speaker 147 They want to watch the Stephen Graham supercut from the Stephen Graham episodes.

Speaker 4 They can see all of his reactions to us, everything that he did.

Speaker 147 Oh, Benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on YouTube. He's going to do it.

Speaker 1 Follow us at Off Menu Official on TikTok at Off Menu Podcast on YouTube. You can watch clips from the podcast.
And on YouTube, you can watch full video episodes. People have been asking for it.

Speaker 1 And you're finally getting it. Full video episodes.
So you can see every single nuance on our little faces.