Ep 28: Serge Pizzorno

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

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And if you just leave that in the fun oven for about half an hour and sprinkle over a little bit of love, you've got yourself an excellent podcast.

Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast.

I'm Ed Gamble, and there's James Acaster.

Hello, nice to see you.

I've put my oven gloves on.

You've got your oven gloves on?

Yeah, I was near the front oven.

To pull the potty out of the front oven.

Yep, pulling the potty out of the front oven.

If you're listening for the first time, this is the off-menu podcast where we invite a special guest into our dream restaurant and ask them a few things, don't we, James?

We ask them their favorite ever.

Starter, main course, dessert, side dish, and drink.

It is a wonderful format.

Ed, who's today's guest?

Our guest today goes by many names.

Uh-huh.

Sergio Pizzorno.

Uh-huh.

Serge from Casabian.

Yes.

And recently by his initials SLP, which is the title of his recently released solo album.

Oh, you're such a good Matra D.

Thank you very much.

Matra Ed.

Yeah, yeah.

Ed, let me tell you, though, as much as I'm excited to have Serge in the restaurant today, if he mentions a secret ingredient, he's out on his ass.

Yes, every week we have a secret ingredient where if a guest mentions it within their meal, they will be removed from the building.

It's a bit of a controversial one this week, so I don't agree with it.

But you do you not?

No, you and Benito are fully behind it, so I've got to go along with it.

Our secret ingredient this week is raw ginger.

Big chunks of raw ginger.

Big chunks of raw ginger now.

Basically, big chunks of raw ginger.

Of course, raw ginger and ginger itself adds so much to so many meals.

But sometimes if there's a big old chunker in there and you bite down on it, it's like very potent, compacted hair.

It's really not a nice feeling.

I like it.

You like it.

But you hate lemongrass.

It's the same situation.

No, that's what I was saying.

Lemongrass is too

strong,

in a way that's a bit sickly.

Ginger, it feels like a real pleasant explosion.

I think it's the texture more than anything for me.

Throughout my whole head.

But it's two legs.

We've already made the decision.

I've made it.

I've got to

go along with it.

So it's not a good idea.

The secret ingredient is big chunks of ginger.

Anything over, I'd say, two centimetres.

Yeah, we'll get him to measure, to show us with his hands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

But for now, let's hear the off-menu of Sergio Pizzorno, Serge from a Sabian SLP.

The SLP.

Welcome to the restaurant, Serge.

Thanks, mate.

Welcome, Serge.

Oh, no.

You know what's going on here?

Go on.

He's a waiter, and he's a genie.

Oh, okay.

And I was about to say he's a genie waiter, but I started to say waiter, and I nearly said he was a weenie jater.

Oh, I've never been called a weenie jater before but I quite like it and that explosion was you coming out the lamp yeah it was me coming out the lamp yeah yeah

my weenie jater entrance but this episode I'm gonna be called I'm gonna be called a weenie jater I like you're a weenie jator only for this episode yeah perfectly I like being called a weenie jeter so the idea is Serge that as a weenie jater he can get you whatever food you want from any place or time around the world anything you want for your dream meal okay yeah happy with that yeah really happy You seem pretty chill in the presence of the we need to be.

Yeah, no, I'm just trying to sort of get my head around.

Look, you've just arrived at the restaurant, that's funny.

I saw a little look in your eyes.

When Ed said then, any place or time, I heard you hear time and go, oh, I could go back into Henry VIII time.

I think you start to think outside of your realm then.

You're thinking, oh, I can get some other stuff.

I've been thinking, I mean, it's been,

yeah.

It's funny

what you sort of start to remember when you pick out certain times of your life going, oh, that time in Chicago or whatever.

Yeah.

And then you start to remember other things, nights you've forgotten that you probably best should have forgot.

Yes.

But the food sticks out.

But the food sticks out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

First we'll start with still a sparkling water search.

Oh man, sparkling.

It's a new thing but I've gone

cut down on the fizzies, you know, fizzy drinks.

Yeah.

So it's like a little sort of fake hit.

It's like a treat of fizz.

Try to pretend pretend it's like a full fat coat.

When did you start with that?

I noticed my teeth looking like weirdly yellow and I thought that probably should stop that.

And I drink quite a fair bit of rum, so I always have it with that.

So I thought maybe at a restaurant you're probably better off

going sparkling.

Did you still have it with the rum?

Yeah.

But you've cut down on it with the cut down the amount of it in the rum.

So more rum.

You just have more rum, yeah.

That's smart.

Your teeth are very nice, though.

Thanks, man.

My little boy said the other day, he's like, Dad, your teeth are well yellow.

I was like, what?

I don't think they are.

Oh, man, maybe that means I look.

Yeah.

Maybe you've got white eyes.

Maybe that's why you see everything white.

Oh, do you reckon?

Yeah.

That could be.

You have got quite white eyes.

Is that how eyes work?

I now see everything white because my eyes are really white.

Whoa, I didn't know that.

Ed went to a better school than me, so I've got to presume that's true.

You'll see everything white.

I think you've got nice teeth, mate.

Thanks, man.

Crooked.

So you got.

Really?

I'm paining my teeth.

They're not actually not that bad.

No, they're not.

They're nice teeth.

We haven't battered someone's self-esteem this early.

Straight away.

Do you want still a sparkling water?

I'm a piece of shit.

Oh, I hate myself so much.

Oh, God.

I was a bit embarrassed by choosing sparkling.

I think that's what it is.

No, I think it's.

There is a lot of stigma.

I mean, mean even when I do it like you do that every then we sort of there's a little murmur of like oh do you know what I mean

it's always a wanker movie

yes

especially my pals you know I mean it's like really what are you doing but what what like uh

what pals are you well sort of you know my back my sort of my pals that I've known since I was like you know

seven so I'm still friends I still live in Leicester so we're still close still see them a lot but it's the kind of thing where you all just spark and go moved to London have we yeah

See what they drink down there.

It's like, no, no, it's just.

I think it's absolutely fine to pick Sparkling.

And I think it's a good reason that it's cool because you're trying to cut down on your fizzy drinks.

But I identify what you just said.

I'm from Catrin.

It's not far.

It's not far.

Same kind of attitude.

Yeah, yeah.

If I said I was having some Sparkling water, I'd get a bit of a

live in London.

Drinking some Sparkling water, are you?

Crazy.

Two stops down, right?

What is it?

Is it?

No, it's Market Arbour, then Catrin.

Yeah, yeah.

Market Harbour, then Catrin, 20 minutes on the train.

Mate, it's happening in Catrin.

That's where people we used to go sh shopping in Leicester, me and my mates.

That's sophistication.

Tells you everything you need to know about Ketron.

The big city.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go to Leicester.

I don't know.

I think we might have done a gig there.

I can't really think about Ketern.

Don't worry about it.

A lot of people can't.

A lot of people find it very hard to think about Ketron, Serge.

There's a band from the Temples.

Are they from Kern?

Yeah, they are, yeah.

James Bagshaws are.

So I used to do, when I was in bands growing up.

Yes.

They got great names.

I remember that from the show, The Last Lecture.

Bonov and Caprison, something.

Capricon Quartet, I was in, yeah, yeah.

That's correct.

Tick called me that.

But we did some gigs with, like, so the people who are in Temples now, they were in different bands when we were growing up.

So we'd do gigs with them.

And James Bagshaw is one of the guys in Temples that would go the big hair.

I don't know if he's got big hair anymore.

Yeah, yeah, the singer, right?

I think he's like...

Oh, Jay Watt.

I think he is, yeah.

He might have been a singer.

But yeah, he was in a pop punk band the first time I met him.

And it was a good pop punk band.

I liked it a lot.

I can't remember what they were called now.

But it was the, you know, shout out to temples, raging speedhorn aren't from Kettering, are they from Corby?

I always get that mixed up.

Corby, from Corbyn.

That is an interesting place, yeah.

Corby's a very interesting place.

I don't know if it's still the case in Corby, but a lot of people used to think they were Scottish in Corby when they weren't Scottish.

But people have Scottish accents, now I'm going to be in actual trouble.

Yeah, I'm actually kind of putting myself in the crosshairs now, right?

But a lot of people who just wouldn't mess with Raging Speedhorn, no, soap bar, that's where you get the best soap bar.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What soap bar?

I don't know if you can.

I suppose it's like Thai weed.

Oh, right, okay.

But it's like, it's sort of made, it's weird.

It's like made in like, you always find plastic bags in it and stuff.

Yeah.

It's like caught really weird.

It's plastic bags in it.

Yeah, we used to call it plastic bag material because you'd always find remnants of plastic bags.

Yeah.

But that, you know, would you smoke the plastic bags?

I mean, at the time, any, you know, anything, really.

Yeah.

That's all.

Yeah, yeah.

you didn't really have a lot of money so it's like great that'll work

Pop alums or bread Serge poplin absorb bread oh man it's a really tough one I don't it's a lot of hard decisions to make because I love them equally but I suppose I'd have to go with

I mean I don't know that's really tough it is tough stomped me man it is really tough because I do so traditional like I've got a long history with bread that's real do you know what I mean yeah it's like you and bread go way back way back yeah.

Popdoms is like the last, you know, probably like five or six years where I've really got into curry, but I was a sort of bread with sort of, I lived on it to survive because I had a, I've not been, I was cracked with food when I was a kid.

He's one of those kids you get, like, he'd invite around your house, and I wouldn't eat anything, you know, like

what we could, and then I'd have like a slice of bread with no butter, you know, like

bad problems.

I was the, I was the opposite, really.

If I went over to a friend's house, I was the one where the mum was like, that fat kid's coming over here.

Give him all the food.

I went over to one friend's house and his mum just kept making me toast in the morning once.

On about eight slices of toast.

She's like, Would you like some more toast?

It's like she had some bet going.

Yes, I'd be tasty.

Yeah, yeah.

Put another one on the tally chart.

Just if I saw something wrong with the mum, you know, like the hands, I didn't like the look of her hands.

Right.

Oh, right.

This is what's why you wouldn't eat much.

Kind of, yeah, or there's some maybe some sort of weird mouth thing.

Like a bit of white stuff around the hair.

Yeah, you know, or sort of, you know, like sort of weird with sauce.

You saw something wrong with the mum.

Do you know what I mean?

And be like, oh, what we got is like, oh, beans.

It's like, oh, man, like that liquid on the beans.

And it was giving me stress.

You weren't a sauce person.

No, see, weird because what I've turned into, like, if you, I always don't worry about my kids.

Kids don't eat like loads.

But I always think

I was the worst.

And now I'm sort of, I like to eat anything.

Source is, food is merely a a vehicle for source now nice you've gone too far the other way the other way yeah you just have soup all day making up for lost time yeah i remember like and i still got this to this day this just a little example of how bad it was like i can't i couldn't eat if a magician was on the teller

what are you talking about

it still to this day it freaks me i i don't i'm not often surprised Serge I think you know working in comedy quite often you can sort of see where the left turns are going to come in.

That took me by surprise.

It's honestly, like, it's not even, it's not even like

every now and again, you know, like a Sunday, there'd be like a magician.

Like, it was more of those dove ones, you know, the 80s ones.

Yeah, with the like white gloves and stuff.

Still now, and you know what?

The next level is the unmasked magician.

That does me even more.

The guy with the white mask.

The drops and the leather and the face paint.

And still, I could go now.

Like, it makes me bath, man.

So, you wouldn't be able to eat if there's a magician because it made you feel sick.

Yeah, yeah.

And I would, like I would gag, like it'd be bad, man.

Like I'd be around mates' houses and they'd bring food and I'd be like, how that?

Bad.

Once again, they're watching a magic video.

Maybe if there was a magician on the telly, that I was.

Would they know?

Would they do it on purpose?

They'd like order a pizza from the picture.

No, they wouldn't have to do it with a Copperfield video.

They would just use Technique, like a weird kid coming round that don't eat anything.

If there's a magician, give him a slice of white bread, and he'd be fine.

But did they all know about the magician thing?

No,

I kept it quiet just so I just so they wouldn't put Paul Daniels on when I came around.

Yeah, yeah.

You wouldn't want Paul Daniels on, I mean, David Copperfield.

Yeah.

Weird, man.

That's kind of the level I was at.

Oh, man.

I've never, I mean, I just the props.

I don't know if it's.

You know, the look of them.

I can smell them.

I think I've got some like thing.

Yeah.

You know, you see, like, colour, like,

weirdly sensitive things.

Yeah.

Sinesujia, is it?

It's called.

It's when you see colours.

Yeah, synesthesia is when you can see, yeah.

You can see colours and it's like music.

Yeah, you've got that, but

you can smell a magician.

you smell a magician you see a magician you can

smell all of his kit props yes oh man it all no i know that all the all of it smells like that's disgusting that's uh imagine what it smells like inside that like box they get cut in half man oh yeah that's sweaty and horrible

you imagine what it smells like in the box when they get cut in half i think rather than me finding this funny i think i now agree with you and i'm never going to be able to eat while i'm watching the magicians yeah i wouldn't be able to do it.

Also, there's another episode where we had Dynamo on.

So, I imagine,

well, yeah, sure, but like, you know, you would have hated that episode.

You would not have liked to listen to that.

I don't know if he had any kit on him.

So,

his kit's not so bad, because at least he's got like an anorack on and a pair of trackies.

I'm into that.

The more the 80s, the more

gloves.

The more pump there is, and yeah.

White gloves,

coiferred hair.

But a funny little magic wand where they flip it and it bends over and then straightens back up again.

Will that really make you give you shudders?

That shudders me up.

The cups and the balls.

Yeah, again.

Hate that.

I hate that.

I hate it if they put it in the bag.

Even the sort of light in as well, it's the lighting

that does me in.

Quite observant as a child to be like,

it's the lighting that really screws me up.

I'll tell you what, I think this one makes me feel sick as well.

I was too.

When they're pulling

stuff up their sleeves, all their handkerchiefs out their sleeves.

One after the other

deep into

i agree with you you'll notice now yeah that's why i couldn't eat when i saw if i saw them do that but uh so i've got this bread what should i say oh yeah yeah you haven't even said popped up some bread jeff we've been talking about how you can't eat if a magician's on the table bread i'll go bread i go bread because i got we uh right well i did an early interview and um

and i remember you know i sort of flippantly said like oh it wouldn't be sort of sex drugs that are that kill me it would be like overeating a bread bread.

I fucking love bread.

And I did a gig in South Korea and there was a girl in the front row and she had a massive sign.

It just said, Surge, I've bought you some bread.

I thought, wow, that's a bit gutty.

I was ain't joking.

Any particular type of bread that you'd like on the dream?

I mean, I'd probably just go.

I'd probably go for catcher.

Because I've weirdly not chosen any.

Well, yeah, I'd go for catcher.

My uncle

owned a bakery in Italy and used to do some serious business.

Oh, I love Focaccia.

Yeah, man.

Your uncle owned a bakery, you do isn't it?

He's got,

he's at, he owned a bakery in Italy.

So my family's, half of my family's from there.

Amazing.

So that was nice.

Summer holiday, just sort of vibing in there.

Great.

What was that like?

Like first, like

ancestor bakery bread.

Again,

it was a struggle because I was still going through the, I don't really eat anything.

Right.

So that's what I found that.

I remember him making me pesto once and I was like what is going on

I was green you know what I mean

you know now it's you know I could imagine pesto is probably quite a scary food for a shit well scary and he used to pinch my face like really like you know that sort of yeah you know the sort of stereotypical sure man that was frightening yeah talk really loud and he was a magician as well yeah he's fucking magic money appear from behind your ears and stuff like that you'd be sick instantly in his hand pinch

I had a pesto in a wrap

for lunch

Six hours later, I burped and it still tasted like pesto.

Yeah, that's tasty.

Yeah, that's one of the things about pesto.

It still got in it, a good one, generally.

Yeah, it still tastes when it comes back up.

Seriously.

It doesn't leave, doesn't leave you for a while.

That's serious, man.

I'd say longer than any other food.

Yeah, it's up there.

I'm burping it, and it's still there.

There's very little that outlasts it, actually.

That's a good question.

What repeats?

Yeah.

We have to worry, it's a big thing before a gig.

Like, you'll really

because we'll be like, is it repeating?

Sort of in mid-set.

Just ask Tom, is that repeating?

He's like, yeah, it's repeating.

You would ask during the

taking the piss out of each other.

Someone would be eating sort of Rogan Josh for the gig.

You're like, mate,

that's a repeater, right?

Asking for trouble.

That's a repeater.

Stay clean, man, before the gig.

The pepper army.

You shouldn't have a pepper army for me.

That's a repeater.

Short.

The spicy one.

I would imagine...

Just from what you've said so far about various things that pepperami you weren't going anywhere near them as a kid were you?

Surely you hated little...

Later now I will.

Right.

On a sort of service station.

Well, the pepper army, in terms of food, is the closest thing to a magic wand.

That's a meaty magic wand, that isn't it.

That sounds pretty wrong.

Little meaty magic wand.

I haven't said meaty magic wand since last night.

I didn't like the sheep.

Oh, no, that's horrible.

Well, neither do I know you've called it the sheep.

I was struggling to think what I used to call it.

I used to love it.

I used to chew it.

The pepperami condom.

Are we going to call it that?

Yes, pepperami.

There's always the moment you have to sort of slide that thing down.

You have to sort of take a deep breath.

I loved it.

I used to chew it after I'd eaten.

You're like, whoa!

Heading up to the scars.

This is the second time I've said it, but you missed it the first time.

I thought, I'm getting that.

I don't understand.

What are the packages?

So

the inner sheet.

So there's the hacker.

Yeah, I didn't chew that.

And then there's the

plastic condom.

When you chew it, it's like salty chewing gum.

I can't take that.

I actually can't take it that's from a bowl.

It's so low.

I mean, that's way lower than that.

No self-respect.

Yeah.

Whatsoever.

No.

No.

Not at all.

But if you're eating a pepperami, your self-respect's already at rock bottom, isn't it?

No, no, no.

It turns out there is lower you can go.

It's chewing the pepperoni Johnny at the end.

Stuck in the bag at the end.

Oh, oh, Ed.

That's the student, that's not student days right school school

little pepper army condom yummy

you're chewing it at the end yummy yummy oh

no Ed Benito you you're backing me up he looks that Benito is a vegetarian as well it's obviously even worse for him to hear you hear about this he's very spicy though right only spicy I go with fire is it called fire or something

uh yeah it's like fire stick

fire stick yeah love a fire stick the black packet pure repeat yeah did they release a single at one point, the Pepper Army single?

Yeah, that's a good one.

They meant that.

Oi, what's the matter?

Yeah.

Two, Sparsho Fire.

Was that a single?

Yeah.

That's what I'm asking.

Was it just an advert, or did they.

I have a memory that they released it as an actual single.

And then the B-side was called Chew the Bag.

My name is Ed Gamble, and I love to chew the bag.

Just you singing for the whole thing.

Because you're the only person who ever did that shit.

That's what we all used to do at our school.

Where did you go?

What school?

Yeah, it is to school in Mad Max.

We used to eat the wax off a baby bell as well, right?

No,

he's winding us up on that one, Serge.

Serge looked at Ed there like you, you're about to punch him in the face.

You're like, right, I'm not standing for that one.

That'd be all

right.

Now we come to your starter for

the starter.

And is it for catcher fun actually?

Before we go on to starter, is it from your uncle's bakery?

I'd say there, yeah.

Generally, a little, little an abisolo.

It was a little bakery.

starter okay so i

i've gone um

spicy buffalo wings and there's a place in chicago called the dublin and they were that they were the ones they they were the because we went

so it would have been like 04 and we did like a 12-week tour of america

and we found i think we had wings pretty early and then we sort of made the wing council so me my cousin and and dibs the bass player so we said right we every in every restaurant we go we have to order wings and then we need to rate they have to have a rating love it so we it was a solid test man i mean this this place on it there's a lot of research gone into this yeah and it was they were just magnificent great so what were you um

was there a scoring system was there just a so what yeah the source ratio yeah was number one because when they were too wet yeah

too messy too messy too wet too buttery

And the crispness of the skin has to be nice and crispy.

If there was so, like, usually if too much sauce, you're never going to win.

And then there was one that came second in New York that you got the wing and then the sauce separate, which was a nice little move.

That's a good touch.

But I just thought, I don't know, I like the fact that the pop-out.

Because it's a bit sitting on the wing rather than properly in there.

Yeah.

It's part of it.

You want it to feel like it's one.

It's phenomenal.

I mean, pure heart attack material.

Oh, yeah.

Because they were.

Does it come with the blue cheese sauce as well?

Yeah, but don't go anywhere near that.

What?

No, man.

Do you like the blue sauce?

I love the blue sauce.

I chew pepper army packets.

Yeah, that's what I remember.

It doesn't really matter at this level now.

Oh, man.

There's something wrong about that.

I definitely think buffalo chicken is like.

The first time I had buffalo chicken, it was a revelation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's nothing prepares you for that sauce.

That's true, man.

You haven't had anything that

hot but vinegary.

Yeah.

And buttery, like you say, it's got everything.

Yeah.

I feel I would dip, I wouldn't have every bite with the sauce, but I'd want to dip in there at one point to see how good their sauce is.

The blue.

The blue cheese sauce.

That always frightens me that.

Does it?

Yeah.

It's cream, like...

Is it blue cheese?

Yeah, yeah.

It's perfect because it's the vinegar of the wing cuts through the fat.

I mean, I'm not, yeah.

Are you not a blue cheese guy?

No, I'm funny with that kind of creamy cheese sauce.

It always worries me a little bit.

A lot of people are.

Cauliflower cheese in that.

I go there now and again, but I'm always a bit wary.

Sure, it's a bit it

looks a little bit weird.

Yeah, also you're rating the wings and I agree with you that the sauce impedes on the wings a little bit and you're not getting you're not getting a a a solid experiment there if you if you're putting the sauce on it.

Yeah.

I mean and then every year since we've never got near that one place.

Dubbin in Chicago.

And you all agreed that they were the best.

All I mean it's unanimous.

That's good.

And we you know

we'd go there and we've got a couple of days there, so we went twice, four times, I think, for the wings.

Great.

Oh, nice.

Beautiful.

I found the same on on a long tour, I think having something that is like, you know, a food thing or a drink that they're like, we're going to find the best one.

Yeah.

We all supported Milton Jones in 2011.

We toured for the whole year.

We were trying to find the best custard slice in Britain.

And like,

so we're just both go and try to find the best custard slice.

Probably a very similar sort of vibe on your tour.

Really similar to a Cassabian tour.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Milton Jones absolutely tearing it up.

Yeah, I can't tell you a lot of the stories.

This is one of the only stories that's okay for broadcasts.

But there's a lot of stories that say that for after-hours stories, I could tell you.

When everyone's fallen asleep already.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

But here's the tragedy about the best custard slice.

So we found it in this, it was a service station.

And for our memory is it's the second services we came to in in Wales.

Went into Wales.

Second one stopped at that.

They had their own little like, you know, canteen.

It was like big amount of custard in there, real hefty custard, crisp pastry and lovely vanilla icing on the top.

It was just a perfect slice.

And we've not been able to find the services since.

Oh, man.

It's like it vanished.

It's like it was a ghost services that was like from the past.

You're going to go there and they're like, what burned down 50 years ago?

Like, Wales is all I know.

Oh, okay.

So

you go into Wales from England, and it's the second services you get.

What bit are you going into?

We didn't do the Tolbridge, so it was like whatever.

So it was North Wales.

Yeah, whatever bit is not Tolbridge.

And we went in, second services were stopped there, best custom sizes ever.

Both of us separately have tried to find them again since.

And

every time we see each other, we're like, it's not there anymore.

So what gig were you going to?

Do you remember what city you were in?

Real or something?

I don't know.

We had a bunch of Welsh gigs on that day.

I mean, this is like

a long time ago.

But like, it was a momentous day because we were like, look, this is the best one.

And then the tour, we like.

agreed that was the best one we had like

and then it's like it like it's like as we were driving away it vaporized behind us and just vanished

and i don't want to say a magician did that but like you know

it's like it was like everyone there was like, had been dead for 50 years, you know.

No, and then we went in and had these custard slices and never met anymore.

So, you know, if there's any Welsh listeners who know that service is enough.

Is the Dublin still there?

Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I mean, I the mate, this isn't me, we usually say I the mate, but he had his, he, his ex-girlfriend used to like robbing.

This is no shit.

He robbing custard slices on her, like, body.

No shit, no shit.

No, this weird, you know, you keep saying the word custard slices, but I just keep saying that.

That's all you keep thinking about, your your mate saying.

I'm really, really trying to listen, and I've just got this fucking thing.

I wish I could tell you it was, it'd be even funny, but I can't do it too.

Yeah, if you've got a number, I'll give it to Melton Jones.

Yeah, you'd absolutely love this lady.

She probably knows exactly where to get the best customized.

Although she's got very different requirements.

Yeah, I mean, that's...

She'd love them on her body.

Yeah.

Well, he'd eat them off of her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that specific thing, though, because I was...

It'd be a shame if she didn't like anyone to eat them.

It's like, didn't you try any others?

No, no, no, no, it had to be that.

Wow.

Or was it?

I can imagine them taking the lid off, the top lid.

Yeah, exactly.

So you've got the bottom still,

because then that's quite a good thing for rubbing on you, because

you've got

two quite sturdy spongy grips there that you've got.

You've got some sturdy bases there, but also it's all quite

easy to rub around.

It's not too syrupy.

I'm not going to listen to this.

Not going to podcast.

She'd obviously experimented within her life to find out that customer slices was the best.

You know, she'd probably been through some horrible, horrible experiences with jam tarts before she landed on custard slice.

Yeah, what about like a bit of a teller?

Yeah.

Doesn't mean that happened organically.

This like her knowing a fella once would like she had a custard slice and they started kissing and then escalated and then it's like this is going on my body.

I don't know about that.

Do you?

I don't think I could eat food off someone man.

I'm not sure about that.

You can't eat food when there's a magician.

No, absolutely.

No, that's what I'm saying.

I've got no I I've got yeah things.

I would be surprised if you've got to that point.

Yeah.

You couldn't eat food as a child if you didn't like the look of the mum.

If you couldn't like the look of the mum, you could eat the food, so let alone of someone's actual body.

Yeah, not for me.

I think those wings are a solid start.

That's what we like here.

You've done your research.

You know the exact place where you want them from.

Yeah, I like that as well.

Properly, someone committing to a certain food and finding the best one.

Yep.

Nothing but respect for that.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

Your main corpus.

Maine, right.

Hard because obviously I've had Italian roots, so I sort of grew up eating Italian food.

And I now sort of love curry so much.

But the one place,

there's a place called La Tacaria in San Francisco.

Okay.

And it says, does this thing called carnia sada tacos, which is like a sort of shredded beef taco.

And it's, I mean, it you can't, I can't, even now, like, I can, I would fly, I would probably go,

land, eat, and come home.

That's the sort of dedication.

Wow.

And the hot sauce, they do this sort of green sort of hot sauce.

No idea.

I mean, I sort of thought about just putting it in the suitcase, but

I always get really quite collared quite heavily when I go to America because I don't know why.

Yeah.

But

I don't think taking that would, they probably wouldn't let me, you know what I mean?

But that place.

I mean,

I sort of we did like about eight weeks recording the third record there

and I think I went I more or less probably went five times a week because I quite like once I get a routine like I yeah decisions doing my heading like I feel like all I'm doing all day in the studio is making like decisions yeah so the food decision is like I like that

yeah it's gone yeah

I like that food a lot yeah so I'm just gonna go there and eat that because that's decision's been made because I'm trying to figure out what this snare should sound like and my brain's going crazy.

Yeah, that's where I go.

And the guys working with killed him because he's like, You can't seriously be going back there.

I was like, That's where I'm going.

I'm going to go on my own.

I don't care.

And they're all doing the same thing every day.

See,

yeah, I mean, I do the chicken now and again, but it was always like fucking not as good, man.

So, what was in?

So, you got shredded beef in there, yeah.

You got that green hot sauce, yeah, yeah, salsa.

But it was like it was, I mean, the queue around the block for it, it's like a famous kind of

yeah, and it was, yeah, just insanely good and it's like you can't believe like it's not yeah you don't even I don't even understand what it is like it could be long pig for all I know but it was cool

I don't know why I think I said it on the podcast before but queuing up for food in America I love it oh I'll do it in America anywhere else I don't

it makes me when you said then they were queuing around the block I genuinely felt happy yeah like I felt really happy I won't do it I won't do it in London because if I do it in London I look around at all the other English people doing I'm like you people are are ridiculous.

You're all little sheep.

But we went on holiday to New York and we went to a steak restaurant called St.

Anselm in Brooklyn.

And we arrived and we know it was busy.

And they were like, oh, it's going to be two hours for a table.

And in England, I would have burnt the restaurant to the ground.

Yeah, yeah,

but it's so they were like, okay, there's a little bar next door.

You can go and sit and have a couple of drinks and we'll be with you in two hours.

And I was like, absolutely fine with it.

Big regrets for me though, at that bar.

Why?

Because they sold mulled cider.

And I wanted wanted it, but for some reason denied it to myself.

Strap in Benito, this is going to be one of the stories you want to chop out.

This is a great story.

James has got a real skill at telling a very boring story like it's the most important thing in the world.

It is.

These things matter to me.

This was a big thing to happen on the holidays.

This is a big thing during the holiday.

Because I wanted the mould cider, but I denied it to myself for no good reason.

Right.

And then later on, I was like, I really wish I'd had that mold cider.

And so I was like, well, it's okay.

It's really cold in New York at the minute.

It was snowing.

I was like, somewhere else I'll do mold cider.

Every bar we went in, I was asking after it.

It wasn't there, wasn't there, wasn't there.

I was really sad about that.

Then one day, we went into a, in the daytime, went into a clothing store.

And they could, and one of the people who worked at the clothing store came up to me and went, would you like a free mold cider?

It was like I was dreaming.

And also, one of the reasons I didn't want the mold cider was because I felt I'd been boozing too much.

It was New Year's and stuff.

And I wanted to like, you know, I had the post-New Year's guilt of like, I need to stop drinking.

I'm drinking all the time.

And then she was like, it's mostly, it's non-alcoholic mold cider.

So it was like, just all my dreams come true in a clothing store.

And then I didn't even buy any clothes.

Did you set that up?

Yeah, I think you might have had a word.

Yeah, it feels like this is sort of talking about the water cider.

Yeah, it worked.

I was delighted about it.

Yeah,

someone go and get my mold.

Why did you?

Oh, you denied it because you were going through that.

I've got to stop drinking.

Yeah, drinking too much.

I seem to remember we drank quite a lot that night, anyway.

We did.

It was New Year's Day.

That's what I was doing.

Yeah,

John Robbins was the most drunk that night.

Yeah, it was.

We all took turns.

We all took turns being the most drunk.

There's four of us.

Yeah, yeah.

And each night, someone was the most drunk.

And on that night, John had gone to the toilet, and our friend Lloyd was going, None of us have really got a drunk.

And we went, Are you joking?

Like, John's absolutely hammered.

And he was like, I don't think he is.

And then John just burst out of the toilet, like probably like the door kind of like rebounded off the wall.

He was there across the room, like, gentlemen.

It's like, yeah, there you go, Lord.

Do you have your own room or do you stay like in the same room together?

No, we were were just in an Airbnb room.

Yeah, different rooms.

Yeah, definitely.

Nice little flat.

We're doing our lands.

We've got our own separate rooms.

Pretty cool guys.

Pretty cool guys.

But these tacos, I'm a big taco fan.

And any taco that someone's willing to get a plane lands, eat them and come back.

Just if you ever get there,

you know, if you spend some time there, just I wouldn't, you know, the Golden Gate, because you've seen it before, man.

We've all seen it.

We've seen Alcatraz

get to this place, man.

It's so good.

I'm definitely going to go.

On the mission, I mean it's quite definitely going quite a I think it's got better but it's quite a sort of it's quite a tasty area it's quite is that where amoeba records is is it down that way do you know what no no that's that that's more near the hate ashbury that's yes that yeah that's that's what i was thinking of yeah that was i saw hippie part i saw a massive fight there because that's like supposed to be a tasty area as well yes it can be and literally a man like punching another man in the face screaming at him in the middle of the day and then he chased him into a shop and stuff it's really one of those head shops yeah yeah yeah they're just full of head shots it's mad now because of the sort of money, the Silicon Valley money,

it's kind of changing.

Yeah,

there's so much tech stuff going on.

Yeah, there's so much divergence.

We were thinking about going with the podcast to

America.

We weren't thinking San Francisco, but I think now we're going to have to

factor that in.

That is great.

Mrs.

Doubtfire's house.

That's a worth.

Yeah, you go.

I went to see Mrs.

Doubtfire's house.

Yeah.

I went to San Francisco.

I didn't go.

I feel so annoyed now.

It's a really weird situation when you go there because obviously now as well it's a bit of a shrine to Robin Williams.

like,

so there's like a tree that has just like people have like laid DVDs and stuff there of like Jack and whatever, like not

his best work, but like, you know, he's just like around the tree and people writing like, thank you for the loves, Robin, and stuff like that.

And it's just a bit of a drink.

As a genie, you had to go and visit.

As a genie, I had to pay my respects to

the original and the best.

Yeah.

I wanted to go there.

What's your favourite Robin film?

I want Robin as if I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, because I've called it Robin.

You know who we're talking about.

I think, so the first one, so obviously when I'm a kid, like, I think Hook and Aladdin came out at around the same time.

And I think Hook is still like, I think it's such a good idea for a film, and they absolutely nail it, and he's great in it.

And I still think when we talk about food, ah, the imaginary food banquet that they have in Hook.

Special.

When they all sit down and it's all the imaginary fat.

And even when they're, even when you can't see the food, it looks delicious.

Those kids are amazing actors.

Yeah.

Because

they're scooping the bowls with their hands.

He's got a lot of hate, that film.

What the hell is it?

It was Steven Spielberg said he didn't like it.

He trashed it before it even had a chance.

I love Hook.

Dustin Hoffman.

I love Aladdin.

Try and get the kids to watch it.

I mean, they're kind of in, but it's one of them ones where, let's do Hook because I can bear that.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Have you seen World's Greatest Dad?

Yeah, not good.

Yeah, I love it.

Do you?

Yeah, absolutely love it.

Yeah, it's a Robin Williams film.

Maybe I love it.

Bobcat Goldthwaite director.

Bobcat's the boy.

Yeah.

He's a phenomenal fellow.

Yeah.

I thought it was really good.

Well, I watched it once years ago.

So over 10 years ago.

So maybe I'd like it.

I've not seen that one.

It's pretty dark.

I like that he's very dark, man.

Bob Castwawa.

It's a pretty dark film.

Also, I quite like Jack because I went to see that after Term had finished when I was at school.

So we were really excited to go and see a film.

And we got like a half day on last Friday.

But I also had food poisoning.

And I remember watching Jack as the food poisoning lifted.

So it's like, you know, when you feel like

you're never going going to feel alright again?

Yeah.

And then it suddenly lifts.

I got that as I was watching Jack.

So now I've got this physical memory connected with it.

You know what?

Goodwill hunting, you know, right?

Yeah, that's good.

I'm just, I don't know, because you know him sort of good morning, Vietnam, and you've, but there's something in that

scene gets, you know, like, you know, it's not your fault.

Oh, man.

Yeah, yeah.

That is, I defy anyone that's not going to roar it out.

Yeah, the Academy would agree with you.

No, I mean, if you can watch that and not roar your eyes out, man.

It's a special moment, that, innit?

Very good.

He tells a funny story about his wife farting.

Yes.

Which is improvised.

Is that right?

Yeah, Damon laughing at it is genuinely laughing at it.

It's good.

And Jack, they all fart in a box and set fire to it.

The original.

The original.

It would be great.

Different strokes, different folks.

My friend Dan, when he was little, him and his brother just got loads of

ice cream and put it on their...

So when their parents were out, they bought loads of ice cream, just opened all the ice cream tubs, put it on the kitchen table, looked at each other and shouted bangeraga, then ate it all.

And then were sick.

But they watched Hooker wanted to do a bangeranga.

But they then just shouted banger banger at each other and then ate all this food and were really badly slow.

Good on them.

Great choice for Maine, I think.

Yeah, mama.

Fantastic choice.

And it's also quite, so far, like delicious, but...

Not massive portions, but you've got a lot of room here.

Yeah, absolutely.

So your side dish could always be a...

Yeah.

Also, it's good.

It's all good, like, bar drinking food.

So, yeah, I think.

Yeah.

That's important.

Yeah.

Is that important to you?

It depends.

If we're on a night out, it depends if we're going anywhere after we leave the restaurant.

Once I've eaten, I'm done, you know.

Yeah.

So, you know, we're just going to have a nice little pick at a few bits.

Yeah.

Side dish.

See, I'm just going to, I'm just, for some reason I feel like it has to like work.

I mean, I could choose anything, right?

Yeah, sure.

But I just go with the nature.

I just go nachos.

Like, I can't, I just go, I just would.

I would go with salsa, cheese, jello peanos, hot as hell, just, you know.

It makes sense.

So, whatever you've chosen so far,

it doesn't surprise me that you would be a nachos guy.

Yeah, I mean, I thought there's the lambdosa,

there was a takeaway in Leicester.

It's such a strange little place, and they did these things, lamb dosas, right?

It's sort of like lamb wrapped in a, in naan.

Yeah.

And it, and they, they, it was kind of who if you knew about it, it was like in a lock-up behind the railway station, so there's no restaurant, it was like a great,

like a, it was next to a garage.

Yeah, so like a shack, sort of, yeah, yeah, it's the weirdest little joint.

And it, and uh, and I used to go like probably, you know,

four or five times a month, maybe more.

I reckon I probably did about four grand one year from that career.

Really?

At Christmas, they'd like all come and give me like wine and champagne.

Yes, come on, we'll do more.

Yeah, I said, I'll spend more next year.

And it closed down and they didn't tell anyone.

That's good.

It was the worst.

And it was just, you ring it, it's like, yeah, it's just ringing out.

It'd be fine, we'll go somewhere else.

And it was terrible.

And to two years, right?

And

I'm not going to lie to you.

Every now and again, I'll ring, just didn't see it.

Not even joking.

See if they pick up.

See if it's like,

even if it's an answer sign, just so you can hear their voice.

The website's still there.

They didn't close anything down.

They're not sent anything.

So maybe they've just gone to research new recipes around the world and they're going to come back with all this sort of shit.

They haven't done it.

Serge, they haven't.

They haven't got as research new recipes out around the world, Serge.

You're imagining them having their holidays.

We've bought the greatest spices from all over the world to do.

Just for you, Serge.

Honestly, I just, I sit there and just go, I'll try it.

And they're like, just let go.

I can't, man.

And Jal Frazi from there was, oh.

Serge, if we'd really closed down, do you not think he would have closed the website?

Come on,

it's still there.

It doesn't say, like, sorry to the customers.

I thought I'd get a text, maybe sure, yeah, because I could do that.

I gave my number, like, this is how you know.

We ate, we would, I'd not, you know, I'd just text.

That's how close we were.

You just texted them, you know, I'm gonna come out and get some food.

Yeah, yeah, just a little bit of a food.

So it would text you going, by the way, we no longer exist.

No, exactly.

I'm like, sorry, it's done, you know.

Do you even know what happened to him?

We're talking about it.

No, no,

it vanished.

Like, the shutters came down and it gone.

And

What was it called?

It was called, I've got no idea.

No, it was called.

Shit, man, I've got mine's gone blank.

This is crazy.

You've got them saved in your phone, I imagine.

I have.

But the guy was called Rippin'.

And it was called.

Fuck.

Let me come back to that.

Yeah.

You didn't need to know because he had his personal number.

Yeah, that's how close you were.

Yeah.

You're just like, I'm going to go get some lambdosis from Rippin'.

This has killed me.

I'll get my phone in a sec.

I'm going to.

I can't.

Do you know what?

Do you know what this is?

There was that whole episode once where I tried to remember what I dipped some Poppadoms into.

It took a whole episode.

What I dipped into some sour cream.

And like, you know, people,

our listeners like this kind of stuff.

Yeah, find out how you can do it.

Don't feel bad if you can't remember that.

Is that not...

Do you think that's abuse?

So you think that you got abused by the Lambdosa guy?

No, no, like...

Like alcohol or...

Oh, okay.

So

I thought you made your baby in the middle of the music.

No, you're not in abusive, you know.

I think you're sourcing.

I can't remember that.

Yeah.

Something so special that's frightening a little bit no because would you use would you use the name or would you say you just go sometimes I get stuff like that yeah yeah would you would you even use the name or would you be like I'm just gonna go to Rippon's or I'm just gonna go yeah I would say I'll just I'll text Ripon I'll text Ripon yeah you text Rippon text Ripon about that and get some buttons

are you choosing the lambdos as your side no or are you choosing because I feel like it's that's too stodgy and I feel to accompany the taco I just the nachos from the taco here because it's the same joint all right so I mean barely have we had two dishes.

Oh great.

Yeah yeah that's good.

Yeah.

I do a pretty mean go of it myself to be honest.

And you say hot as hell.

Yeah that I found this sauce.

I've my drawer drawers at home are like full of sauce.

I mean it's yeah.

And I found this sauce from South Devon.

It's like a hot chili sauce.

It's got like a skull and crossbones on the front.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's quite cartoonish though.

It's not like a Dave's stuff that's like ridiculous.

Yeah.

And that on the side.

But you've got to be very careful.

I mean, I'd even pipette that on South Holy Sauce.

I'm scared to ask this, but can you remember what the sauce is called?

It's called South Devon Chili Sauce.

South Devon chili sauce.

I think I've had South Devon Chili sauce.

It's really good.

Weirdly, in later life, I now hiccup if anything's too hot.

So we get sent quite a lot of sauce from the rib man.

who runs an amazing food stall on Brick Lane.

Nice.

And he does his own sauce.

He does Holy Fuck, which which is an excellent sauce, The Holy Fuck with Bacon.

But also, he does one called Judas's Scary Hot, which he sent me a bottle of, and I've had it twice, and it gives me hiccups immediately.

Yeah, that's scary, though.

Yeah.

Some of it, I mean,

especially when we play in Japan and stuff, I would take, like, I always take a hot Nando sauce in my pocket when I'm out.

Always.

That can save any dish.

And what

heat are you going at Nando's?

I mean, I don't think the extra hot's that much hotter than the hot.

That's right, correct.

Big news for me.

Yeah.

I'm up to extra hot on chicken now.

Well, I always get the uh, I get hot on the chicken, but then I'll get the bottle of extra, extra hot.

Yeah, I do extra hot on the chicken to do it, man.

Because it's because it's delicious.

It's actually quite fruity, that sauce.

Yeah, yeah, it's not that crazy.

But that'll always come in the pockets, so we'll always, always, uh, I'll always have hot sauce.

Yeah, my wife, beautiful wife, she carries, I make sure there's always sauce in the handbag before we go anywhere.

Have I talked about when I went to New Zealand Nando's yet?

No, I don't think you have.

Have you been to Nando's in New Zealand or Australia?

Yes.

Absolutely abysmal.

It is.

No, I'm with you.

The wings are well weird, aren't they?

They're like actual wings.

Well, let me give you a little list of things.

They've got all the feathers on?

These are weird.

Fucking well weird.

Here's a laundry list of complaints for you.

Number one, let's just go from when I walk in to the rest of it.

Number one, I had to seat myself.

Walk in, no one comes up and seats me.

Sorry, gourmet Raj.

Got it.

Sorry.

Love it.

That's all it took.

I'm very relieved.

Yeah, I'm really, yeah.

Thank you.

That was really hanging over us there.

Oh, God.

Right.

I walk in, I've got to suit myself.

No one asks me if I've been to Nando's before.

No, that didn't even come up.

Yeah.

No one asked me if I've been there before.

Right?

I've got to sit down myself.

Sit in there, get my own menu My usual order isn't on there, so that's annoying.

Yeah, so I can't get the we can't go down this alleyway again, but you've got a weird order.

I can't normally

I get double chicken fillet wrap

with

hot with um cheese and pineapple in it.

Pineapple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I do normally.

Serge is making the face of the nation.

Although it's some progression actually.

I've also recently started getting the thighs

of goods

with the spicy rice.

Let's put it all in a box together.

But my regular order isn't on there.

That's annoying.

Right?

I order a side of coleslaw.

When that comes, it's not like creamy coleslaw like we got over here.

Yeah.

It's like just like dry, like sweaty, just horrible, gross coleslaw.

Not Nano's coleslaw.

The hot sauces are labeled differently.

The extra extra hot sauce just says bloody hot sauce because it's fucking, because it's in New Zealand.

I'd say really bloody hot.

Oh, it's bloody hot.

Well, I don't care.

The fable or the legend legend of the Barcelona cockerel or whatever.

You know, that legend.

Always on the wall, there's like the legend of the cockerel is written on the wall.

Yeah, yeah, I've never read it, but yeah, I know what you're doing.

Yeah, and each now knows they make a nice effort to make it look like, you know, they do it in a mosaic or they do it in a nice thing.

This one, they're just written it on the wall.

There's a big fuck off pipe running through it in the middle.

It's really disrespectful.

There's like,

what's the point?

They just stenciled it onto a wall with a pipe going through the middle of it.

Also, this is my biggest complaint.

I will, oh, oh, no refillable soft drinks.

Give me a bottle, and that's it.

I can't go and do these.

That's not on.

Really annoying.

The worst part of the whole thing.

Oh, no Nando's music.

No, they're playing.

They're playing Michael Jackson Greatest Hits, number one.

So playing that.

That is not Nando's music.

To play that album.

And then the worst bit was that the courtesy cockerel, the thing that they meant to come and take, they went to him.

Is everything okay with your meal?

And then take the cockerel away.

That guy was with me for the whole meal.

No one one came and took the cockrel away.

The whole time the cockkel was there staring at me while I was eating my dinner.

Is it called the courtesy cockrel or is that something you've

I think it's called the courtesy cockrel, isn't it?

Hang on.

You can't think it's called the courtesy cockle.

You can't assume

it's not something you assume.

Yeah, I might have invented that.

Yeah.

But I think that makes sense.

It's called the courtesy cockrel.

It does totally, yeah.

But you're calling the courtesy cockle.

So yeah.

Copyright.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but like, that was, I mean, and there'll be other stuff that I remember.

Yeah.

Because there was a lot of battle.

There was a lot of stuff that really ticked me off in that sound

Australia had one in Sydney or Melbourne or one of them we were sort of they were early to the game I think sure like Australia yeah New Zealand with getting none those

not everywhere is it yeah it's a South African company right yeah yeah so I guess I've had it in I've had it in Cape Town it's good then yeah yeah serious but yeah no the Australian's the same I remember the wings actually felt like they had the wings still on like the feathers that they'd fried the feathers like

odd odd sort of shit I'm gonna put it I'm gonna put it out there i'm not sure that's we can say that they definitely had the feathers oh okay no no no well they just look they didn't look like wings to me did it remind you of a magician

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I'm going to guess now that you're drinking.

Because you're doing stuff that goes together.

I feel like there's a beer or a lager on the horizon here to go with all this stuff.

Whole button.

Okay, nice crisp.

Right, so

with that, as you say, a nice crisp beer or a margarita, beautiful.

But

there's

an incredible curry house in Hampstead called Paradise.

And there's a guy that runs the joint called Wassell, who's you wouldn't find a more beautiful host.

Kind of guy that you'll just say,

it'll pull a tape, you know, he'll just pull one out the back.

If it's full, he'll just go, you can sit here, just sit in the middle, it's fine, you get on with it.

Yeah, do you text him?

Yeah.

Do you?

Because the food's good, man.

Yeah.

It's a little, you know,

it's a key.

At what point, after you've been, because obviously this is a running thing for you that you do quite a bit.

At what point do you go, can I just have your number, mate?

Well, he gave me his card.

Oh, okay.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I wouldn't ask ever.

So you don't ever go?

God, no.

Cozn's no, no, no, no, no.

No,

you've been stung before, isn't it?

I've been stung a lot of times.

I'm the worst.

I will not, that is the sacred giving out a mumbo.

It's like, no,

that's the testament to how good food is.

Because I'm like,

do I want to just start this?

Yeah, sure.

But it's all good.

And I also got a burner phone that I can text from.

So at the end of the meal, right, he goes, do you want the nut trilogy?

The nut trilogy.

The nut trilogy, right?

And it's like, okay, man, yeah, sounds.

First time I went,

and he brings out three shots of uh like a nut like nut liqueur

on the house yeah and they're all pretty incredible right and you i don't know what any of them are there's definitely one that's there's pistachio looking thing yeah and then there's definitely amaretto i'm sure that's one of them yeah and then there's another thing you like a haze on that thing maybe yeah fucking hell man and it and then before you know it you're sort of like right where are we going now

we're out

do they put the cream on it you know sometimes you get in the curry house, you get the cream on top of the...

Like a couple of after eight mints and then a nut trilogy.

On the house.

On the house.

On the house.

Nothing.

Niche.

The nut trilogy.

It's so good.

It does sound good, the nut trilogy.

Oh, no, no.

It does.

It's a good place as well, man.

And

is this like on the menu?

No, no, this is extra.

This is like, well, Sal sort you out.

Yeah.

Do you text ahead for the nut trilogy?

No, it just comes, mate, at the end.

Do I do kind of now?

We just go, just make sure you do the nut trilogy at the end.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

yeah

and is it do you do you have to do it in a certain order like no you just go

again it's a talk like we can go

the green one's a bit you know what i mean so it's not

a traditional trilogy i don't think so

i just love how it's called the not trilogy though you know yeah so what's your favorite film trilogy

huge question

i've probably gone toy story before the fourth one sure because i do like the third toy story

i've not seen the fourth one the toy story trilogy you can have the Toy Story trilogy.

Flawless.

What shot from the Not Trilogy would you pair

with which Toy Story film?

Hold on a minute.

I've gone big though.

That's where I was going with it.

That's what I never said what I was driving towards.

Let me just...

I've gone quick on that because it's like in my mind because I've just seen it.

You know,

I'm not sure.

The Cornetto trilogy is quite good.

Yeah.

God, this is a toy story.

Segway quite nicely into desserts.

Wood though.

Shit, I'm going to go there.

Cornetto trilogy.

Yeah, man, because it's a food programme.

Yeah.

So we've got Sean of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and World's End.

Yeah.

And then you're going to be.

In that order as well.

Are you having pistachio?

Is pistachio shot with Sean of the Dead?

Yeah, like the zombie slime, yeah.

Yeah, like it.

Yeah,

like it.

The amaretto?

Amaretto.

It's probably Hot Fuzz, right?

Sorry.

Yeah, yeah, Hot Fuzz.

Sort of hometown.

I think it's Ed Gright's hometown.

Yeah.

The one you all recognise.

Yeah.

And World's End's the one we know.

Yeah.

I've got no idea what it is.

And that's a bit of a problem.

They don't know about the aliens and shit.

There's a bit where he falls down on the car and he goes, I'm fine.

That's a good little bit, man.

What did you say?

He goes, I'm fine.

Kills me.

And the way where he goes, he goes, code, and he bangs the table.

He goes, Got any drugs?

That's a good bit of that, man.

Soul of the Dead is

up there, and it's probably one of the best.

It's one of my favourite films.

It's probably one one of the best films.

Pretty perfect films.

I think my favourite cinema experience I've ever had, because normally I hate a full cinema and it was so full.

They were watching it like a comedy show.

Like it was, the roof was coming off.

So yeah, Sean of the Dead's amazing.

They're special.

It's a phenomenal team that.

Yeah.

I think one of my favourite...

Like, I don't know, like, like visual games from it is in Hot Fuzz when Paddy Constein does the thing of, like, he goes off shot and then he comes back in.

yeah man yeah and they do the with the noise very all the time i like his line but he goes don't go bin a twat now yeah

paddy's so we can quite quite sorry paddy paddy

worth talking about paddy how good he is man because oh yeah he's amazing yeah i would like there's one person i would like to sort of i would love to meet that dude one day

So from the Cornetto trilogy

to your desserts.

Here we go.

Now,

I was.

There's obviously numerous amazing gelato I've had in Italy.

And I did, I toyed with like a bag of minstrels and a cup of tea, you know what I mean?

Because just to be like,

truly honest.

Yeah, I'd let you have that combo as well.

Because it's just like

leave the restaurant and go, no, I've got a thing about hot desserts.

We'll get to that.

But I think I would go ice cream van Mr.

Whippa, one flake, strawberry sauce, done.

Oh,

ice cream van whipper.

So you're going to be completely traditional.

Now, is this because it reminds you of your channel?

I think, I know, whatever they put in that stuff, man, that's

whippy.

Yeah.

And it's the texture, the cheap cone, the sauce.

Like, yeah.

The sauce is, I think, if you get a sauce from an ice cream van, you know, it has to be zombie sauce.

Yeah, my all day.

Yeah, I think it's that.

It looks like

joke shot blood.

I don't trust the two cone though.

You know, when they split them, I've never trusted them ones.

Oh, no.

No, because I think a magician's done it.

There's something that's

a magician's been in the van.

Fantastic.

Don't trust the double cone.

It splits off at the end.

Yeah.

No, not for me.

Too much ice cream.

Just, you know, a nice whip, little flake.

Oh, yeah.

The double cone is that thing where, like, I like how much more ice cream you get.

Of course, I do.

But I don't then like eating the cone as much.

No.

I don't enjoy that experience of it.

Well, where does the ice cream go when there's a double cone?

Does it go into the main body of the one cone or does it just sit in the two cups?

It sits in the two cups.

Yeah, so you need the ice cream to penetrate the main body.

You have to push that, you have to like, you know, strategically push the ice cream down so you get the ice cream right at the end.

I hate when you get like just

the cone.

Oh, just the wafer cone.

Yeah, you don't win.

No, no, nice.

Yeah,

yeah.

Yeah, that's not nice.

Just the wafer cone is good.

You need the ice cream.

Bite the bottom off the cone to some of the ice cream at the bottom.

No, that's sick.

That's sick.

Don't approve of the kids who do that?

Mate, nah, nah.

Because you can kind of see the ice cream going down.

Yeah.

Just eat it, man.

Yeah.

It puts you on a time limit if you bite the bottom off straight away.

Quite quick as well.

I've sort of, you know, I get through it quick.

No messing.

I don't like a drip.

Just get it down.

Chris pass.

Yeah, man.

Done.

Don't do that.

And a flake, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe two.

Maybe.

I used to like, in terms of just chocolate bars in general, like, you know, aside from ice cream, I just really did not rate a flake at all.

Didn't get way anywhere

near them.

Bullshit.

When I worked in the kitchen though, and we would put flakes in Sundays, you just help yourself to a flake.

I got into it big time.

In the fridge, though?

No.

So that's why I think I liked them.

Because once they're a bit more room temperature, a bit softer,

it comes together quite nicely if you just...

lob one in in one go.

Yeah.

I don't like sitting there and having a little nibble and like treating it like an actual chocolate bar and give it that respect.

But like straight at the mouth straight away and just having it all kind of like

melt in your mouth is good.

I remember someone at school, they used to eat like Mars bars and Snickers with like a knife.

Didn't that piss you off, man?

Have you ever seen that?

I quite like the idea of it from a fridge with a...

With a little knife.

Yeah.

I like it out the fridge.

I like chocolate belongs in the fridge.

That's controversial, but.

It is controversial because it often put like a weird, like, white.

It's got to be cold.

Yeah.

I know.

That's the thing.

Dairy milk from a fridge.

There's nothing better than dairy milk from a fridge.

Hot desserts can fucking do one.

Now, yeah, what's this?

No.

Not having it.

Actually,

I know.

100%.

Also, don't forget to...

For the listener, what the third said fucking do when he flipped the bird with both hands.

Yeah.

He gave the double rod at the end of that.

Yeah,

there was a finger for the chocolate fondant and a finger for a sticky toffee puddle.

It's got to be cold.

Don't have it.

What?

You just can't deal with it.

Rolly poly with custard, no?

It's hot.

I've just had my main course, man.

I don't want it even hot now.

A nice cooling sensation.

You want a cool sweet.

Cool.

Hot apple pie.

No chance.

Crumble?

Not even a crumble.

No, man.

Not for me.

I don't know.

I realise I'm just listing hot desserts and you've been very clear about it.

Just like, yeah, I mean,

hot at all.

Not saying there's no wriggle.

There's nothing.

Even like a hot.

Oh, try this hot brownie.

Is it hot?

No.

Well, what if, like, but if you say that it's at the end of a meal, you want to cool down, but like, what if you're not at a meal?

And someone's just like, oh, yeah.

You can't look over there.

They do the best.

Oh, these are all.

Hot.

Hot fudge brownies.

They're melted on

He's been very clear, James.

What I'm just trying to say is that you're not going to be able to do

it.

There's no wriggle.

It doesn't offend me if you want to do it yourself, but I can't go.

No.

Oh, yeah, pretty worked up about it.

Yeah, man.

But like, you just would never.

Has that been your whole life?

I think so, yeah.

That's an early one.

Things I've not been able to let go of.

Maybe

there's a puff of smoke at the moment.

Might be the dinner ladies, man.

That could be the dinner ladies' fault.

Oh, yeah.

Apple pie, hot custard.

I love it.

I love dinner.

I love school dinner.

Desserts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That kind of.

It's not the war, man.

Of course, it's not the war.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

Exactly.

We're going past that, ain't we?

Yeah, like rations and shit.

Yeah, like little ration custards.

Yeah, man.

Oh, man.

We've moved on.

I remind you, I picked a whippy, so it's not like

the most sophisticated.

Yeah, that was about in the war.

Yeah, yeah.

People like

Mr.

Wippi.

we've moved on we're more sophisticated now mr whippy please i mean i have eaten some beautiful restaurants and lucky too so i don't you know but i would go to you know i would just go back to the ice cream campaign

i i when i used to serve ice creams it was a brief period of time where walls had come out with these things where oh was it walls or no it might have been cornetto come out with basically a sob so you could do a soft thing for someone yeah they were weird though they were this little do you remember this yeah i do remember we talked about this before.

We must have just talked about it.

I know this.

It's sort of like me working in an ice cream.

Yeah, no, I'm sure we'd sell it.

These were like these things.

Yeah, you'd do it yourself.

Yeah, so I'd serve people, but there'd be these like pods.

Stupid.

You'd load them into the machine, and then you had to pull the thing down pretty hard.

And then it would all like.

So you basically make them a fresh cornetto almost.

I love it.

A Mr.

Whippy Cornetto.

The amount of those I ate, I mean, no prizes for guessing, but I spent most of my day doing.

Just first.

Did you ever do that?

Well, I've always wanted to do that.

Do you do that?

Absolutely.

Oh, that that is absolutely.

I thought I'd probably never get to do this.

That's like a good thing.

So, yeah,

I'll get under it.

And

either Sanjay or Chettin, depending on who was working, would load one up and then just slowly be like, yeah.

I used to

work in a pub.

You used to do that with beer, right?

No, good.

No, I was never on the bus.

Shit, I'd love to do that.

Over the titch,

I've never lived there.

You just did that under the bus.

I've never lived.

Guinness has to be done.

You sort of arch.

You've got to just really sort of get under there.

You'd have to take the train.

What about the CCTV?

You never get caught.

Oh, yeah.

I mean,

I only worked there for a month.

I didn't get fired, but I think if they'd gone through the CCTV, they would have seen a lot of people.

I'm like, what the fuck is you doing?

We used to have lock-ins and stuff,

but the landlord would be there, but he'd be like, all right, you can go and have another pint, but you know, I'm keeping a running tally of it.

I'll get you another pint.

But then I used to go and go, okay, I'll get myself another pint.

I'd quickly pour a pint down it and then pour another pint and go back out with a pint.

Yeah, mate.

Very clever.

I feel really lucky to have worked in ice cream when those things were out.

Yeah.

Yeah, because it was a small window, they weren't around for very long.

Yeah.

And lucky old me, I got to work.

Legoland, you still get them at Legoland.

They didn't make anybody.

Yeah, they made Legoland.

Yeah, we went

six months ago.

Wow.

And they had those there because

they're horrible.

No, no, because they were just, yeah, Legoland.

Okay.

If you want to relive the.

Yeah, well.

It's a bit weird at Legoland.

I wouldn't bother.

I'll see about that.

It's all made of Lego, isn't it?

Yeah, it just needs a refurb.

Yeah.

Also, we had cart d'Or, like just normal cart d'Or, scooping.

So what we'd sometimes do, get a bowl, scoop yourself some carte door, whack a softy cornet on top of it.

This guy's lived a life.

Maverick.

Yeah.

Water, sparkling.

Yep.

You would like for catcher bread from your uncle's bakery in Italy.

Perfect.

Starter, you would like the spicy buffalo wings from the Dublin.

Yep.

In Chicago.

In Chicago.

Maine, beef tacos from La Takaria, San Francisco.

Yep.

Side, nachos, also from La Takaria.

Salsa cheese, hot as hell, with some

South Devon chili sauce on it.

Yeah.

Your drink with like the nut trilogy from Paradise Hampstead.

Dessert, Mr.

Whippy, flake, strawberry sauce.

Yeah.

Lovely.

I'm happy with that.

Fantastic.

That's a delicious.

Thank you, boys.

That's a really good one.

Thank you.

For sorting me out.

Oh, anytime.

And I think you'll find them in Weenie.

What What a great menu.

Delicious.

Some big revelations there, I've got to say.

A lot of big revelations.

Apologies if any magicians are listening who can't eat if there's a musician on the podcast.

I mean, shout out for that as a revelation.

Might be one of my favourite podcast moments within two series.

Oh, I couldn't have.

I mean,

it was as big as when

Cushion Gooing Murphy told us he'd never seen or heard of a curly brand.

It was that level of moment, wasn't it?

Fantastic guest, fantastic meal.

Enjoy the bread.

He did He did not pick the secret ingredient.

Well done, SLP.

Well done.

He did not pick the secret ingredient.

No big chunks of ginger for him.

And you call him SLP there, of course.

The SLP is the name of his solo album.

It is.

It's debut solo album.

It's called the SLP.

Which is out this week.

So go and check it out.

The SLP.

Get on it.

Get on it.

Go and give it a spian.

If you're into what me and James do, you can check us out on socials.

I'm at EdGambleComedy on Twitter.

You can go onto my website, edgamble.co.uk.

I'm just about to start the second leg of my tour of my show Blizzard.

And if you'd like to come and see me in London, do one last big final performance of it.

I am doing the Shepherd's Bush Empire.

Go on my website for details.

At James Acastle on Twitter over here.

And also,

this very week, my new book was released, Perfect Sound Whatever, which is about the music of 2016, how it saved my life, and how Ed Gamble is a little dweeb.

Yes!

I hope that's not true.

Well, it's in there.

It's in the book.

Oh.

Yep.

If anyone wants to come to my organised book burning,

they're very welcome to.

Yeah.

Fine.

Samuel Messiah said, you know, the best thing about the book burns was that they always had to buy a copy.

So he's a millionaire.

Mate, you're sending me free ones and I'm going to burn them.

Subscribe to this podcast.

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We love you very much.

We will see you again in the Dream Restaurant.

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Goodbye.

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In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

Oh, hello, it's Amy Gladhill here.

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Single ladies is coming to London.

Well, we're already in London, I suppose, in a way, but we're doing a live show, aren't we?

It's true on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At 7pm at King's Place.

So we've got your Saturday night sorted.

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Come along, have some drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, both are available.

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