Ep 20: Rose McGowan

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast.

Hello, it's James Acaster here from the Off Menu Podcast.

And before the episode starts, we'd like to talk to you about All Our Relations, a non-profit co-founded by your friend of mine, comedian Jen Brister, and Georgia Takax.

Yes, All Our Relations was originally started to support 15 families in Gaza when the genocide started, but now supports 21 families and funds several mutual aid projects, including two seven-day food kitchens and two mobile food parcel delivery schemes, as well, feeding hundreds of families in Gaza every single day.

They've created an absolutely amazing thing.

And we feel like, you know, it's the off-menu podcast.

We talk about food and we are very lucky to eat wonderful food and have access to absolutely brilliant food all of the time.

And I think we need to talk about people who have access to no food, James.

Absolutely.

So if people would like to donate, please go to allourrelations.co.uk or look at the links in Jen Brister's bio on Instagram.

Every penny raised goes to supporting people in Gaza.

Thank you so much and enjoy the episode.

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Put us on a medium heat.

For one hour approximately, you got yourself a hot podcast.

Hello, Ed Gamble.

Welcome.

My name is James Acaster.

This is the off-menu podcast.

Sorry, I should explain.

Um, we're sort of towards the end of the day now, and uh, me and James have had uh one and a half cans of beer.

We're celebrating, we've done three podcasts in one day, they've all been fantastic.

You'll be able to hear them all very soon.

And now we're doing these.

Well, this is one of them, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

This is one of them, to be fair.

Yeah, this is the off-menu podcast where we talk to a special guest and get them to describe their dream meal.

Yes, we're going to ask them what their book, the best ever starter main course, dessert, side dish and drink are that they've ever had.

And today's guest is it's Rose McGowan, James.

It's Rose McGowan.

Needs no introduction.

Rose McGowan is a actress, activist, author.

She just had a new book come out called Brave for example.

Get that book.

It's unbelievable that we've managed to get Rose on the podcast.

Yep.

No beating about that.

I'm sure no one who subscribed to this podcast ever expected us to learn this.

But there we are.

Rose McGowan is on the podcast.

It's very exciting.

But even though we've got Rose McGowan on the podcast, let me tell you, if Rose McGowan mentions the secret ingredient, I will have no qualms in chucking her out of the restaurant.

No, you're good like that.

It's the same treatment for all the guests.

Absolutely.

So the secret ingredient this week that Rose is not allowed to mention is

foam.

Foam.

Foam in all its forms.

The scourge of fine dining restaurants.

I don't see the point in it.

No point.

I think it's just, I'm sure, you know, it takes a bit of skill to make it.

I bet it saves money as well.

I bet it saves money because if you have like an intense sauce, you need more flavor to pack it in there.

But if you put it in a foam, it's probably like an eighth of the ingredients.

That's my conspiracy theory.

They're playing us for fools, and we all know it.

So if Rose McGowan says foam,

she's out.

Bye-bye, Rose.

Apologies.

Thank you so much for coming in, but you're out.

You've said foam.

Bye-bye.

And with that in mind, oh, I think that's her at the door right now.

Rose?

McGowan.

Welcome to the dream restaurant, Rose.

Hello.

Hello.

Thank you so much.

Oh, here he is.

Welcome,

Rose McGowan.

To the restaurant.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Do you like the look of the place?

The look of the place is fantastic.

You have a lot of pop chips, and I hear they're sponsoring you, so I thought I should mention them.

Do a very good job.

You've mentioned them much better, much more than we have already.

Yeah, and when they got into the sponsorship deal, they had no idea you would be plugging them, so I think they'll be absolutely over them.

There.

I think we need more money now.

I can get you more money, I'm sure of it.

Now, you were saying beforehand that you,

is it fair to say you hate food?

Is that right?

I don't know if I hate food.

I hate the intrusion of food.

I find it to be a bit of a bother.

I like nice food, of course, but I don't go out of my way for it.

If it happens, that's nice.

If it doesn't, then I'll eat just to survive.

Yeah.

If I could take a pill and not deal with it, that would be fine too.

Oh, so you're a pill person?

No, I'm not a pill person, but if there's a person.

No, no, no.

No, no, we're not accusing you of being a pill person in general.

We're just saying there are

if there were an alternative

people who would have the food pill.

Yeah.

I think everyone on the planet could fall into two categories of people who would take the food pill and people who would want to keep eating food.

Right.

I fall into the pill category.

Yeah.

But don't take that quote out of context anyone out there.

Please don't.

Moses' not saying.

I am not a pill popper.

It's not my general person.

I'm generally a pill person.

I'm from California.

We like things that make us eat.

That give us some munchies, so to speak.

Yeah, exactly.

Because you were saying that you would like to do your own TV show

where you go to gourmet restaurants, is that right?

I kind of have this fantasy of doing a show where fancy chefs try to force me to eat their food and I go to McDonald's or Taco Bell afterwards.

You don't have Taco Bell in England.

We do now.

There's a very new addition.

We have,

I think there's one

quite near here.

There's definitely one in Hammersmith.

There's one in Fulham, Broadway.

Taco Bell?

Yeah, my life has changed.

Some London Taco Bells.

All right, London, let's go.

Do you have a staple on the menu?

Unless you're going to mention it later on.

No, it's a bean and cheese burrito with no onions, but add sour cream and one hard-shelled taco with a Pepsi.

That is the

speed that I want to hear a fast food order said at.

Absolutely.

It's like I know exactly what I want.

I've said it a million times before.

Bam, bam, bam.

That's sort of the spirit of this podcast as well.

It's not really about fancy food.

It's about knowing what you'd like.

Ah, I like that.

Because fancy food, it just eludes me.

Especially if I get taken, and this sounds very posh, but if I do get taken to a Michelin-starred restaurant, it always ends up with me scavenging for food afterwards.

Because I'm starving.

You just hankering for some KFC or something.

No, I don't do KFC.

That one's no.

But I will just do food that if I'm really hungry, I'll eat whatever just to get it over with.

Right.

I think that's a great idea for a TV show because chefs like gourmet chefs are normally they're used to being lauded and appreciated by everyone.

Yeah, I would not probably do that.

I'd be like, no, there's smoke coming off of my food for God's sake.

So that's what you don't enjoy the theater of food sometimes.

If they do, like, they put like foams and smokes on it and things like that, you're not into it.

You're not.

It just means I won't like it.

I know it.

I grew up in Tuscany, and

that food kind of spoiled me for, and then I got sent to America in the late late 80s, and that was a shock to my food system and others, parts of my system

that I never quite got over.

And what was the big difference there?

In Tuscany, what were you having to eat compared to what you then had to eat?

Oh, dear God.

Well, Tuscany is, you know, like a penne or a beata or like the penny with the spicy tomato sauce or like just a simple, the tomatoes in Tuscany are better than tomatoes anywhere else, pretty much.

So anything with tomatoes, just,

you know, buffalo mozzarella with some lovely sliced tomato, they're balsamic and olive oil.

You really can't beat it.

And then I got sent to America and it was orange cheese, literally called American cheese, which kind of says it all.

Yeah, that's very plasticky and melted.

Just like, yeah, you get gluey, I'd say.

Gluey.

And I actually wrote that in my book, Brave, that's out right now.

And I'm like, dear America, why is your cheese orange?

But seriously, like, when did cheese become actually orange?

Yeah, who decided that?

Because that's not.

No, that's some marketing genius.

It appeals to you as a kid.

Because, like, yeah, when I was a kid, definitely, orange cheese looked tastier.

Because we have red Leicester here, right?

Which is like our orange.

I think you can find good red Leicesters, but yeah, it's not a natural colour.

It's not a naturally occurring colour.

No, no.

Not at all.

The jump from actual Italian food to Italian-American food must have been pretty difficult.

Oh, God.

I also write about this in my book.

The first time I saw pasta in America, I got very excited and it turned out to be one congealed blob on the plate that I lifted with a fork all at once.

And there was water underneath it, and I started crying because I knew my life was never going to be the same.

Add into the water, the tears just flowed into the past.

My tears flowed into the pasta water, and it didn't make it any better.

A lot of that was the chef's tears anyway.

He'd come from Italy and he was probably like, forget it.

We're done.

What have I become?

Can we start you with some water?

Would you like still or sparkling?

Still.

Always still?

Always still.

Why is this?

Because the bubbles pop my stomach out in a very strange way.

Apparently they settle other people's stomachs, but they don't do that to me.

I just get like a four-month pregnancy look, which is super chic.

And one always wants to look like, of course.

So I avoid bubbles.

And now you know.

This is an exclusive we've got.

An exclusive.

Bubbles make your stomach pop.

I understand that.

I'm the same as sparkling water.

It makes me feel a bit bloated before a meal.

You don't.

You want to feel sort of fresh and empty before a lovely big meal, I think.

Yes, fresh and empty.

Fresh and empty.

The story of my life.

That actually could have been your book title.

Fresh and empty.

You've already gone with Brave.

That's already done.

It's my next book title.

Fresh and empty.

You heard it here first, folks.

So, does that mean you steer clear with sodas across the board?

No, if I drink a Coca-Cola, I can't drink it with a straw, though, because that seems to make my stomach pop out.

But if I do it without a straw, I seem to manage it.

Now you know even more about my stomach situation.

Which is very interesting.

So straws are the actual which is good news that they're trying to get rid of straws anyway.

It is good news for me.

And good news for the planet.

Yeah.

In that order, though.

In that order.

Yeah, definitely.

Which is like, yeah.

Whoever, you know, even the person who cares about the environment, you know, more than anyone else probably would still put things things in that order.

Yeah, I think that's a good thing.

Of like themselves first.

Save yourselves, man.

Poppadums or bread.

Popadums or bread, Rose.

Popadums or bread.

Popadum?

Very good answer.

You're a fan of Popadum.

I do like Papadum.

I like Naan better, but you didn't offer me Naan.

You said bread.

Well, Naan falls under bread.

It does fall under bread, but it's a specific kind of bread.

So I was imagining either Papadum or like a nice crusty sourdough.

Right, yeah.

Okay.

Well, if we told you you can have any bread

in the world or any poppadum you've ever had.

Oh, but bread.

So you would still go for the bread.

You would go for the bread non.

Now that I know that I have a wide open bread range.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now I can just imagine instead of cows on a range, I just see bread everywhere.

Or do you see them like, yeah, walking around

on the field.

All the different types of bread, all in the same field.

All in the same free-range bread.

How are they all behaving?

How's the sourdough?

What's the sourdough loaf up to?

Frusty and sour and in a bad mood all the time.

Just walking around in a bad mood.

Just walking with a pinched expression on their face.

But look over on the hill, there's some brioche.

Oh, hello, brioche.

How's that behaving?

It's just laying there taking in the sun.

Yeah, of course it is.

It's getting nice and golden.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Absolutely.

Of course it would.

Oh, but if you look over there, you've got

some,

what kind of bread can you have, Ed?

How many bad bread?

Rye bread?

Well, the naan's got to come in at some point.

What's the naan bread doing?

Yeah, this is not bad.

The naan bread is just puffy and happy and just running all over the land, I think.

It would be a bit more, yeah, running around.

Are you going to have to go and wrangle it in?

I'm going to wrangle with my lasso.

I'm going to, it's going to be like the Wild West, except for with bread.

I'm going to use a pasta noodle as a lasso.

Perfect.

Ideal.

This is the first time I've ever thought we could do a whole podcast about about bread.

Yeah, this feels like it is a whole world.

We have a whole universe now.

That's the whole universe we have.

Another show for us.

This one's for the Cartoon Network.

Yeah, Bread Farm.

Bread Farm.

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, yeah, I like it.

For the Bread Farm.

So your bread that you would like is the Naan bread.

Is that all?

Yes, please.

Butter Naan.

Butter Naan bread.

Is there a certain place you've had it that the best you've ever had?

Probably in India.

Oh, yeah.

In Delhi.

Oh, lovely.

I would say.

But I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but it was, you know, ground zero for none, probably.

Right, yeah.

So, you know, best go to the source.

Yeah.

And we can do that because he's a genie.

He can go there right now.

I'm the genie in a bottle.

Gotta rub me the right way.

That was me singing for the listener.

The listener might not know.

Jake, you really should sing more.

That was absolutely beautiful.

You know?

My pleasure.

Keep singing Christina Aguilera.

Yeah, yeah.

Only coming, Christina.

Come and Christina.

Extinna.

So we move on to your starter.

My starter.

Okay.

My starter would be probably

a lovely, I already mentioned it, but a buffalo mozzarella with some nice thinly sliced tomatoes and a lovely Italian olive oil with some balsamic.

Really simple.

And are we going to Tuscany for this?

We're going to Tuscany for that.

Not to America for that.

Not to America, or no offense, England.

I don't think the people of England would take offense to the quality of their mozzarella.

Yeah.

Although there are

some places that make good buffalo mozzarella.

There's Lavestock Farm, I believe it's called, makes a lovely English buffalo mozzarella.

I've never had an English buffalo mozzarella.

Well, I have from Lavestock Farm.

It's good.

It's delightful.

It's nice.

Although I wouldn't claim to be an expert on buffalo mozzarella.

Where's Lavestock Farm?

Is Lavestock Farm a farm where Buffalo mozzarella are running around?

Yes, they're all running around.

Buffalo cheese.

Yeah.

They're all in a big pond and they all climb out when they're running.

they're next door to the bread farm yeah

luckily

yeah

to me i think that's asking for trouble isn't it that is in those farms neighbouring each other a lot of strange sounds come from each direction yeah yeah

if they get winds that you know of what's over the fence what's going to happen to them and how they're going to did you guys see uh sausage party the movie yes i did so that's the animated film where the they figure out they're going to be eating is all the food yes yes and now i'm imagining all the bread screaming and running away from the bread slaughterhouse.

Yeah, but only to run into the cheese farm.

Only to run into the cheese farm.

No.

I mean, explain to the cheeses, which, you know, I do like the thought of the Buffalo mozzarella climbing out of the pond.

That sounds nice.

That sounds nice.

I saw it in a more romantic way.

I was thinking that one of the mozzarellas falls in love with one of the breads over the fence, and then the end is they end up as a sandwich.

So you're a romantic.

I'm a romantic, you see.

At the end, the mozzarella ends up in between the bread in a lovely sandwich, and they're together forevermore.

Together forevermore.

Until they're digested.

Yeah, until they're digested, and then that's the sequel.

And that's the sequel, which is something else entirely.

Yeah, yeah, which

James can sing Christina Aguilera's dirty for the theme tutor.

Yeah, I'll sing it now.

Go for it.

All I know is dirty!

That's all I know.

That was me singing it.

Just for everyone.

That was James again.

Yeah, I sang that.

And it sounds like quite a fresh starter as well.

Because see that Aguilera?

For a while, she was like one of the judges on the voice, wasn't she?

I think she was, yeah.

I didn't see it, but I...

I got quite addicted to watching

the blind auditions on YouTube.

Oh, are they great?

They just, you know, where you kind of want to watch stuff just to make yourself get emotional.

And it works.

Ah, it really works.

Because

most of those talent shows, it's like, you know, if it's Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent, or whatever, people go on, and if they're not good, then the judge

does the X.

So the judge only presses a button if they don't like it, and it's all negative.

Whereas the voice, they press the button if it's good, and if they like it, and then they turn around, and the singer gets to see one of their favorite.

So the voice comes out of something that usually doesn't match.

Yeah, that's the idea.

Something like, oh, the music industry is based on the way people look, and this is supposed to be to counteract that.

And it's just all about the voice.

It's happy.

Yeah.

But when they don't press the button, I'd say that's sadder than when they get voted off Britain's Got Talent because then they're just performing to the backs of chairs and then it just finishes.

It didn't even make it as far as the turnaround.

Yeah.

Couch.

But then they do turn around and they're very nice to them.

They don't turn around and say they were awful.

They turn around and be like, here's what I liked about it, but here's what I think you could work on.

And then they...

It's a good idea.

It sounds like a positive experience.

It's positive.

It'sh.

Especially when one of them's Casino Aguilera.

And like sometimes she's got up and she sung with them.

She'll sing a song with them out of nowhere, and then they expect that.

Dirty.

Yeah,

she only knows that bit as well.

She only knows that bit as well.

Can you write one more lyric?

Yeah.

Just one more word.

No, no, I just sing dirty for the whole thing.

But yeah, it's a, I mean, that's my.

Do you have anything that you go to on YouTube to make you cry?

Um, I watch crime scene reenactments on YouTube and Boston Terrier puppies.

Those two things are really big in my household.

I hope there's no crossover episodes.

No, not yet, but that would be really sad.

Unless the Boston Terrier was like the detective.

Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be all right.

I agree.

I'd watch that.

That's my idea.

That's a good one.

That's an impression of a Boston.

That works.

That's a detective, yeah.

If you don't know what a Boston Terrier is, they're black and white with googly eyes.

Very cute.

They have googly eyes.

They have real googly eyes.

I had one, and their eyes went in different directions and blinked at different speeds.

They were quite epic.

So what after the other it would do?

Well, it would also lay between you and someone else and it would be like, is he looking at you?

Yes, he's also looking at me.

It's nice, yeah.

You're never losing affection for people.

You're never alone.

There's always one eye on you.

It's like a scary painting.

His name was Fester.

Bless.

Oh,

Adam's family cat.

But I actually named him because he always looked like he was getting fired from from a job or something.

So it looked like he had a festering wound in his psyche.

So it was more about that.

But sure, Adam's family.

Yeah, sure.

You can see why we thought Adam's family.

Hey, of course, but it dives you deeper.

Yeah, you feel like Adam's family.

He had a festering wound in his psyche.

I'm sorry.

My dog has a festering wound in his psyche.

It's not your face.

It's just how he looks.

So I love the idea of a dog always looking like it's getting fired from a family.

Oh my God.

He looks like the pink slip of life was just coming at him every moment.

I was like, I know you're happy and have a good life, but you really don't look like it.

So try to put a little jolly face on so people don't think I'm abusing you or something.

Poor thing.

Having that pep talk of your dog

every day.

It's calling to its boss's office and just like, come in here.

You haven't cracked any cases in weeks.

You're the worst detective on the force.

Step into my office.

Why?

Because you're fired.

There you go.

Yeah, you leave here with that festering wound in your psyche.

Just look at all sad.

Aww.

That's also a very cute dog.

Fester the dog.

Fester the dog.

I've never heard you talk about having pets, Ed.

What would you like to hear?

Have you ever had a pet?

I had a cat called Bruno.

Aw.

It was very sweet.

What was it called?

Was it a family cat or yours?

It was a family cat.

When I lived at home, we had a cat called Bruno.

It's called Bruno because

we got him the same week that Frank Bruno won the heavyweight championship of the world.

Okay.

So we called him Bruno.

Different reasons.

Because it was a big moment in the world.

Different reasons.

You're going for the positive.

I'm going for the, you know, some Kafka-esque sort of thing.

Yours is inspired by Kafka as well, right?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Yeah.

The boxer read it in the ring.

Yes.

Only the first page, unfortunately, because the gloves meant he couldn't.

Yeah, gloves off.

Yeah.

Very, very tricky.

That's the curse of being a boxer, isn't it?

Curse.

You can't read.

It's really hard to turn the page.

You can't turn pages.

You can't text.

You can't text.

What else can't you do?

I mean, most things.

Most things, really.

You can really only punch people.

Yeah.

No wonder that's the profession they get into.

It works well for them.

Yeah.

Got to do it.

I say it's a violent sport, but what other choice do they have?

Yeah, there's really none.

They can't, there's nothing.

You can't even hold a pencil.

That's why they just bump each other

with their fists, yes, at the start.

Buffo bozzarella, your dish here,

it does seem like it's such a simple dish.

It is.

I like about three to four ingredients max.

Yeah, that's fair enough.

Because that has to just be quality ingredients.

Exactly.

And that's kind of

one of the things I notice in London a lot.

They put a lot of ingredients in one dish.

I don't know.

But most places, really, they do, except for Italy, which sticks to the three to four rule.

Yeah.

Because

it's the Italian flag.

Red, white, and green.

And is that

represented in a pizza?

The flag came first.

That's the margarita pizza.

Just so you know.

I think they have a pizza flag.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But the flag came first.

The flag came first.

Just checking.

I don't know.

I think the dish was created for someone specific and it was supposed to represent the flag.

It really is just the tomato, the cheese, and the basil.

Yeah.

That's their flag.

That's the flag.

Yeah.

Because if it was the pizza, then the flag.

It might be, though.

Italy only became, even though it was always called Italy,

it was

not always, but it was.

It was only, I think, in the 40s that they became kind of all one

dysfunctional situation together.

I guess if the pizza came first, the flag would be round.

True.

Maybe we can just cut off its edges with a pizza cutter.

Yeah.

If we were to make a flag...

Say you've got your own country, Rose.

Yes.

It would be orange.

The flag's orange.

Fluorescent orange.

Is this based on the American cheese again?

No, just that.

I really like fluorescent orange, not as cheese, per se, but as a color.

So you just have a fluorescent orange block, one just fluorescent orange flag?

No, I think I'd have like

probably a fist in the middle of it.

A fist up.

My dad said I was born with a fist raised in the air, so I'd have to have something like that.

Oh, yeah.

That's a very, what an image that is.

Like you're flying like Superman.

No, it's more of like a power fist.

Like the Rage Against the Machine logo.

Kind of.

Oh, yes, thank you.

Ed knowing how to translate something for me there.

Remember your teens?

The band that I like.

It's like the fistagon, the rage against a machine logo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got it.

But here's the, it was the full question I was going to ask, but I like that we've got that from you.

If we were to, if there's a flag and it's based on

like a food thing,

like your national dish of your country, the Taco Bell flag.

See you just with a Taco Bell logo.

My flag is the Taco Bell logo.

Yes.

That's it.

That's fair enough.

Yeah.

The Taco Bell logo.

Raise fists still?

Raised fists in the middle of the Taco.

Punching us.

Hard-shell tacos are holding it.

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Sucks!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

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Playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Do we move on to your main course?

Okay, my main course.

Very exciting.

Okay, my main course is: I'm going to be really honest, I like mushy food.

I don't like chewing that much.

I find that is also boring.

I don't like chewy food, so I'd have to go with just a spaghetti with tomato and a pasta with a tomato and basil, cooked al dente, with some lovely fresh tomatoes and a sprinkling of parmesan, but the kind of slivered kind, not the powder kind.

Right.

The powder kind is disgusting.

It's awful.

Awful.

It is awful, right?

It's awful.

It's like the dust from the bottom of a cage.

It's horrible.

It's like a hamster cage.

Yeah, shouldn't happen.

No.

I can't believe we've not had that as one of our ingredients, our secret ingredients.

Each episode we have an ingredient that, if the guest says it, we chuck them out of the restaurant.

It's always an ingredient we don't like.

And that is a very good one for us.

That would be a good future one.

Yeah, I think so.

yeah, that's if they pick that, they could chuck out of the restaurant,

chuck them out on the chuck them out of the podcast, yeah.

Wow, that's good.

We're hoping it doesn't happen, really.

Yeah, you're gonna send me to some restaurant with foaming food, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoa, here's the thing, yeah, and that is perfect.

Your episode, our secret ingredient that we would have chucked you out for, is foam.

Really?

Yeah, that was what it was gonna be.

Really?

Genuinely, it was gonna be foam.

It was genuinely foam, and you are you've come out against foam, so I'm against foam, so So you are.

You own the restaurant now, too.

You basically, you're my boss now.

That's very good that

you're completely on the same page.

Is that really true?

Yeah, yeah.

That's amazing.

That was our for our one.

It was foam for your episode, and you have made it very clear that's the last video.

That's just your idea of hell.

It kind of, I'm not into it.

Yeah.

It is my idea of hell.

Little tiny things that are foaming, not so much.

No, I mean, what's the point?

Exactly.

That's what I think.

When they go on it, but when you watch one of those shows and they're like, we've added some foam.

And you're like, you're like, why?

Yeah.

Just put the actual ingredient on.

Why foam?

I don't want to pretend.

I don't want to be in a bath.

It's like.

No, I think they're trying to be very creative and I appreciate the look of things.

I just don't want to eat the thing.

No one's walking around going, I'm really hungry.

What do you fancy?

Green foam if you can swing it.

Yeah, yeah.

There's only foam around.

Ah, there's only foam.

What are you craving tonight?

Foam?

Yeah, just a big, sometimes you just want a big bowl of foam, don't you?

Really take the edge off.

So you've got fresh tomatoes in your pasta as well.

Yes.

I have a question about the pasta, though.

Yes.

First of all, the basics.

You say you don't like chewing, though.

And you've got it cooked al dente, which literally means to the teeth.

But that's a soft chew.

It's not like, it's not, that's a very good, thank you for that translation.

Thank you.

Very good.

I thought I should let you know.

You've not been to Italy for a while.

Yeah, you already grew up there, Rose.

You probably don't know.

It was for the listener.

You don't know that.

It was for the listener, not for Rose.

It's not as chewy as, say, steak.

Sure.

Right.

Or something that you have to really masticate.

I just wanted to use that word.

Very good.

Thank you.

In terms of like chewy foods, what's your nightmare?

My nightmare chewy food.

I think it'd be like probably steak with gristle.

with the fat in it because then you're just chewing and chewing and then you have to spit it into your napkin and hide it in the plant it's a whole well you don't have to do that i do

I do.

It's many a little chewed up gristle naturally.

Yeah, I've left many little like Hansel and Gretel chewy things in my wake.

Just growing a little gristle tree out of the plant park.

Yeah, that's nice.

They wonder why their plant is doing so, so well.

Yeah.

And growing a steak off its leaf.

Once, when we were kids, my brother once

just, I think we were told, like, you've got to finish your mane to have dessert.

Right.

At my auntie and uncle's house.

And

he was eating a particularly, it was a chewy bit of gristle, and he was just there forever

until you know, people noticed and were like, You don't have to eat like he thought the rules were, yeah, you took the rules very seriously.

You gotta clean your pot.

So, he was just there just steadily chewing this bit of meat for like

just

probably approaching 20 minutes.

It was a very long time.

Oh, wait, have you ever eaten tripe?

It's disgusting.

I was forced to eat that, and I took one bite, and that was chewy hell.

Really?

And also, it's cow stomach lining.

I I mean

F off at that.

And I was 11.

It just didn't go well.

Oh, that's too young for tripe.

I was giving you tripe at 11.

What was this?

Mean, cruel people.

Yeah.

My mother.

Did your mother like it?

I guess so, but it's the only time I remember her ever making it.

So maybe she didn't like it that much.

Oh, she made it?

So this is a home-cooked tripe.

Yeah, a home-cooked tripe.

Was this in Italy?

No, this is when we came to America, which is even worse.

American tripe.

American tribe.

American Tripe.

It sounds like the new Green Day album.

That's what they could make.

Chewy, chewy songs.

Chewy songs.

Yeah, that doesn't sound nice at all.

So tripe is your nightmare.

That is a nightmare.

Nightmare chewy food.

Chewy food.

Yeah, that's a nightmare.

Because I think you just keep chewing and nothing happens.

It doesn't get any softer and it doesn't go down.

And it's ugly.

Yeah.

Whereas with a pill.

That works neatly and you only need water, sometimes even without water.

Straight down.

Straight down.

Taking care of all of your needs.

Would you want the pill to be flavoured or do you would you wouldn't need that?

It's literally just the pill.

Just pop it down.

Just pop it down, no flavor.

Not like a Willy Wonka situation where it's not.

It would be nice.

Like if it were like a lemon drop or something like that, that could be nice.

It could be a dissolvable.

I haven't thought on it that much, but now that I think about it, yes.

A lemon drop would be nice.

A dissolvable, you don't even need to, you don't even need to swallow it, though.

That's perfect.

Yeah.

Sublingual.

yeah, no chewing at all, although some liquids it's good to chew them.

I beg your pardon.

I was told of wine, it's good to chew wine, I don't know because it releases the flavour.

Someone's having you on, someone's having you on there, mate.

I got told about a sommelier

chew,

you probably mean just swill it around, right?

No, no, you do a chewy motion, like you're chewing it, it works.

Is that why every time we go out, you end up just spilling wine out of your mouth?

Yeah, exactly.

Is this why you've had no second date after you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was chewing wine with my mouth open.

I was told.

I mean, feel free to write in if you are a sommelier, but as far as I know,

I don't think you're supposed to chew wine.

I think you're supposed to chew wine.

Are you thinking of wine gums?

So unattractive.

Oh, you mean, I thought you meant when you drink the wine and your gums together.

Oh, yeah, no, that is unattractive.

Yeah.

Wine gums are a type of sweet, which are also probably quite unattractive.

But yeah, the red wine mouth.

Nothing blessed.

It's a real.

thing.

That's what it is.

After chewing with his mouth open and his gums and teeth turn purple.

Well, yeah, I'd like to see a fellow chewer.

No, it really undermines the person because they don't know it.

They don't know it.

And you're trying just to look in their eyes because you don't want to look in their mouth, but you can't help it.

Yeah.

They look like a monster.

Kind of, yeah.

A scary monster.

Scary monster.

Especially if they are a bit tipsy.

And they're tipsy, but they're kind of trying to carry themselves like they're completely not, and yet there's this dead giveaway all over their mouth, all over their mouth, and usually their lips, too.

Yeah, so they're just trying to be like getting better and better, isn't it?

For you home visualizers, yeah, yeah, this is the most, yeah, most visual episode.

Don't chew your wine, don't chew your wine.

No, do chew your wine.

No, don't chew your wine.

Don't chew your wine.

Chew your wine.

Look,

we're divided on this issue, but like

it's two against one.

Yeah, I haven't tried chewing other drinks, but maybe if I did, it'd be good.

I don't know.

It releases the flavour.

Don't chop your water.

You chop your water up.

You have to chop it up first.

Dice your water up so it's in little chunks.

Oh, I don't say you've got chop it up first.

Just saying, you know, when it's in your mouth, you can chew it.

Don't chop it up.

Oh, only a madman would try and chop up their drink.

Do you make pasta at home?

I do.

Do you throw it against the wall?

I don't.

How do you test it?

With my mouth.

Throw it against your mouth.

I throw it against my mouth.

If it sticks to the roof of your mouth, if it sticks to my face, it's ready.

I didn't say I open my mouth, I just throw it against my mouth.

Just

close mouth, pass it on your face, and then someone comes in with red wine lips and you go, it's really quite undignified.

It's really quite undignified.

May I chew your wine for you?

For you.

Yeah.

So you just

pop it in the mouth.

Pop it in the mouth.

No, no throwing it against the wall.

No, I think that's a wives' tail.

Yeah.

Plus, you get stuff on your walls.

Yeah, sure.

You then got to clean the wall up up after that.

It's a whole situation, it's a long climb down, isn't it?

It's a long climb down from the ceiling.

What was it this pastor?

Get a remember, just tomato and basil and parmesan, really simple.

Maybe linguine or an angel hair.

So, why is that your one of your favorites?

I just like it because it's so simple, and if they're really good ingredients, it I'm what they call a super taster.

I have extraordinary taste buds, but no, but things that are very mild tasting to other people taste like a lot to me.

Oh, is this a natural thing I've never heard of?

This is an actual thing.

This is a it's a natural thing diagnose diagnosed thing and you're a super taster yeah that's awesome yeah so things like tapioca yeah which tastes like nothing to most people i think taste like a lot to me wow so this kind of explains as well why you don't like too many ingredients gourmet food ingredients

it it's it's literally too much for me almost yeah when did you find out you're a super taster about five years ago

I did a series of tests at Harvard actually because I lost my smell in a freak accident, my sense of smell, but they were studying me because I could still taste.

Right.

Oh, wow.

Which is, you know, it's normally interrelated.

And I got hit in the head with a car door in a freak valet accident in Los Angeles.

You know how that happens.

Yes.

And it knocked.

If you get hit, I guess, because I know a snowboarder, the same thing, he hit his head in this one same spot.

And it just, he could still taste as well.

Right.

But he also hit his head again, like a year later, and it came back.

So I'm hoping that if I just get in the freak car accident again, just keep looking for clumsy valets.

Looking for clumsy valets.

Yeah.

Wow.

So you're so

cardour, hit your head, lost a sense of smell.

But then, is that when you became a super taster or you're a super taster before?

I think I might have been before, but you don't notice it as much with a sense of smell.

It's a cool

origin story if you became a super taster before.

I think I did because before I never noticed, but afterwards, everything became kind of like a taste explosion and too much.

There's a comic book in that as well, isn't it?

It's close as well because I thought the sense of smell

would enhance,

would make things taste more.

Right.

But instead, losing it made you the super taster.

For me, yes.

Wow.

But that's also why they were studying me at Harvard Medical School, because, but then my doctor died of a brain tumor and that study ended.

Sorry, rest in peace.

Wow.

That's

the war against West.

You did not build us up to that in any way.

No, I'm sorry.

I just

brought Debbie Downer right there.

Yeah.

Okay, right in there.

Right in there.

But so you thought I go to Harvard.

How often would you have to go there for tests?

I would go like once every couple months.

I was in New York, so I would just go down to Boston, which is like a couple states away.

And what would they do?

What were their tests?

They were just, they would have like strips on my tongue, like seeing the acid levels and trying to get me to smell things, I think, but I couldn't.

I can smell oranges.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Which is good since that's my favorite color.

Yes.

My orange flag.

The flag will smell of orange flag.

But it is really interesting.

Not being able to smell is I've had to get, you know, like gas monitors for my house house and things like that because

I accidentally left the gas on one night and didn't know because I couldn't smell it.

Yeah, there are some inherent dangers that come with not smelling.

Absolutely.

But then, yeah, you're so and I can only use all the same bath products I've always used because I don't know what else, you know, I don't want to smell like I don't know, axe cologne or something on accident.

Is that your sponsor?

Yeah, yeah, they are.

Also our sponsor.

That and pop chips.

They're interchangeable.

You can use them both for the same purpose.

You can spray your pop chips with some axe colon.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

They go down pretty smooth.

Right, so

you won't appreciate that

this genie

for your episode, I smell like chocolate.

I'm sorry.

I thought I'd smell like chocolate for this episode.

Hot chocolate?

Yeah.

Chocolate's nice, so I like the way it tastes.

Yeah, I always smell different.

That's what people don't know about the genie in this thing.

I always smell different for each episode.

Chocolate today?

For the good of the guests, yeah, I always put a different

fragrance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hot chocolate today with marshmallows i've only got four senses yeah yeah but one of one of the four and a half yeah you get one your taste is one and a half right yeah yeah exactly here's the thing let's say i get another genie in who deals in other stuff not just food and this genie

can uh bring back your sense of smell but i have to trade something else yeah just trade a different sense no or you get the smell i think it's probably the best scent to lose the best sense to lose if you have to lose one, which I'm not saying you know, I'm being very jokey about it, but it was quite devastating.

Yes, yeah, of course.

Apologies for turning it into a funnel or hypothetical.

No, that's okay, but I don't think there's another sense that I would trade for that.

No, I think it makes New York in the summer on the subways totally palatable.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

I sat down next to a lady and I was like, oh, a free seat.

And I looked at her and I believe she was covered in feces.

And I thought, oh, well.

I'll just sit here.

This is great.

This is fine.

Really lucky.

Everyone else is like hiding in the other end of the cab, but I'm okay.

You're there hugging that lady.

I gave her a kiss.

Goodbye.

Yeah.

Thank you.

What's been in there?

Thank you.

Thank you.

But she had lost her sense of hearing.

So that was the.

She was just like, who's this strange person trying to kiss my feces?

Yeah.

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Experience cloud-like comfort with high-resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing.

The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity, and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime.

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You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

Let's move on to your side dish now.

I would say spinach sauteed with a little bit of garlic and olive oil.

Very simple.

I have a very simple palate.

Yeah, but

very tasty so it's not simple in a kind of like it's uh these are still like pretty delicious spicy dishes

for kids yeah

i like spinach even when i was little really because of popeye well no i never saw pope i grew up in a commune so we didn't really have much exposure to the outside world for like the first 10 11 years of my life but um i liked spinach then and i like it now i didn't know spinach was a thing that kids weren't supposed to like no one ever told me see right

that's the most I think that's true about spinach.

I think you hear you're not supposed to like it.

Yeah.

People are like, yuck, spinach, you won't like that.

I got told that a lot as a kid.

You won't like that.

And I did like quite a lot of things.

So I used to try and prove people wrong by enjoying it.

Spinach, especially, I once in the Caribbean and I got brought this thing called Kalaloo, which is like spinach soup.

And I was little and I said, oh, spinach.

Oh, yuck.

I'm not supposed to like spinach.

And my mum said to me, you know, Papa eats spinach and it makes him really strong.

And I ate the whole bowl.

Did you get strong no unfortunately not i didn't

i knew james would enjoy that stuff did your muscles snap out of your t-shirt as a nine-year-old really weird muscly looking kid

i really like it that you fell for the old popeye line yeah of course yeah

and was it is this a dish that uh like do you have this quite regular or is it some at restaurants i've i've never really made it for myself i'm always shocked by the amount of spinach it takes just to make a little spinach blob oh it's crazy it's like an entire bag to make a small, like, half a fistful.

Yeah.

It all just shrivels down.

Yeah, you think you've bought your dinner, but no, no, you've bought half of a side dish.

Right, yeah.

It doesn't feel economical, does it?

It does not.

It's like, yeah, that's a whole bag.

I think, you know, that'll be three days.

It fools me every time as well.

Yeah, it's a deep trip.

It wouldn't be enough.

Because it takes up so much room in the fridge as well.

It's like putting a whole pillow in your fridge.

Yeah.

That's what I sleep on, my spinach pillow.

Yeah,

this fantasy farm that we've created.

This fantasy farm.

Everything's made of food.

The farmer sleeps on a spinach pillow.

And

it is where

we put it like getting a wok full of spinach and just watching it all.

Because to begin with, as well, I tend to overload it, the wok.

So there's too much spinach in there.

And then it goes down to nothing.

Yeah, but originally I think I've really

got stuff.

This is it.

Are you a good cook?

Do you cook?

No.

No.

I try and cook, but I'm not good.

But for effort.

Because I've made it, it tastes good to me.

I wouldn't cook for other people.

But I'm eating it going like, oh, I'm eating it.

Well done.

Well done, me.

This is great.

Yeah, I feel good about myself.

But also, you said about pasta earlier.

That's the opposite, I'd say, to the spinach.

Pasta, I always put some, I never think I've done it, I've put enough.

So I put the pasta in the water and I look in, I thought that I've not put enough in there.

And then it grows.

And then I put some more in because I think I've not put enough in.

And then when I get it out, I'm like, this is enough to feed this entire school.

Yeah.

You really need, like, if you're making an O with your hand, like, that's about the amount of pasta for

one person.

That's a good tip.

Really?

Yeah.

So you make an O and you fill your hands.

Fill your O.

Fill your O.

It didn't sound right either.

That's a Christina Aguilera song, right?

I believe so on the voice, especially.

Yeah,

fill your O.

Because there's those proper pasta measurers, right, that you can buy.

Yes.

But they're just basically different size O's.

Those are different size O's.

Yeah, you're being fooled out of your money there.

Yeah, I think you've got your own O right here.

I don't think any self-respecting Italian would go with the pasta,

whatever it's called.

No.

So you just got a bit of garlic in there, a bit of olive oil.

I always burn garlic when I try and make spinach and garlic quite a lot at home, and I've never not burned the garlic.

Really?

Does your attention span lapse between the white and the black garlic?

Oh, absolutely.

It's like I black out momentarily and then wake up and wake up and your stuff's burnt.

Yeah.

Burnt garlic isn't really very good.

No, No, it's horrible.

It's bitter.

No, not a fan.

Not a fan of burnt garlic, no.

In this particular dish, you're slice it, you chop it into little cubes.

I'm leaving these ones kind of whole.

I don't necessarily chew them.

I just use them for the flavor.

Oh, interesting.

That sounds like a better idea because then you can't burn it because you're chucking it away.

So you just put it in, you put it in the garden.

But you still can burn it.

You have to not burn it.

You don't have to eat it.

But you don't have to eat it.

That's clever.

I'd imagine burnt garlic as a super taster would be an absolute nightmare.

Yeah, it's a a nightmare.

Oh.

I forgot you're a super taster for a second.

So this particular dish, is this a good suit for other super tasters out there?

Would you recommend it?

I would recommend it.

Any other super tasters?

No.

I'm sure they're out there.

Yeah.

We've got to get...

Do you like coriander or cilantros?

I hate it.

I don't love it.

I don't mind it.

A lot of people say it...

tastes of soap.

For me, it does.

I've had soap in my mouth.

It did not cure my bad potty mouth, but I've had soap in my mouth, and I can testify that it tastes exactly like Irish spring soap.

Really?

Specifically Irish spring soap.

Specifically, which is the worst soap in America.

It's green and nasty to taste.

That's all I have to say.

And was that the brand?

Was it to stop you from swearing?

You got washed out with soap.

So that's papa.

Like, I've heard that phrase.

I've had that.

You had that.

My friend's mum did it to me.

Oh, my God.

Really, really staunch Catholic woman.

And we were literally running around the house swearing because we were like, it's great, right?

Yeah.

Me and my friend.

And she came and washed our mouths, I would say.

Both of you.

Did you tell your mother?

Yes.

Was she mad?

Yeah, I think she was pretty mad.

She didn't show me that necessarily, but I think she was, yeah, she was pretty mad at the time.

We don't see those people anymore.

No.

No.

But that's, yeah, that's full on, right?

That's crossing a major line, I'd say.

That's not your kid.

A light form of child abuse, I would say.

Yeah, I'd say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like neighbor abuse.

Yeah, I will, I will.

Agree, I'm going to join that to that.

I don't know if it was Irish Spring, so I can't testify to whether it was.

It was Yardley.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe that's why you you don't like green foam because it reminds you of Irish Spring.

Probably, possibly, because it did foam, yeah, it foams that soap in your mouth.

Yeah, I see.

I never had that.

I'm the only one out of the three of us.

Yeah, Benito, did you have you ever eaten soap?

Me and Benito,

me and the great Benito, we have never had soap in our mouths, and you two have.

This is where this is where the well, there you go, there's the divide.

Maybe you're a super taster, too.

Maybe it was the soap.

Yeah,

you could be you have two superpowers.

What's your other one?

Diabetes.

I've told you, James.

Type 1 diabetes is not a superpower.

James says it's type 1 diabetes.

If he fell in the Thames, he got diabetes.

The two events were not connected.

The two events were not connected.

The soap didn't cause...

The soap didn't cause the type 1 diabetes, neither did falling in the Thames.

Neither of them.

Did you fall in the Thames?

Yeah.

That's how we got diabetes.

I used to row on the Thames and we capsized and went in the Thames.

And James swears blind that that's how I got type 1 diabetes.

Is the Thames dirty?

Awful.

Awful.

Yeah.

Do not.

Full of sugar?

Go for a little swim in the Thames.

Do not go for a swim in the Thames.

Note to sell.

And especially as a super taster.

I'm not a good swimmer, so that would also be a good thing.

There's no buffalo mozzarella climbing out the Thames.

I'll tell you that one.

Does not look nice.

It's brown mozzarella at that point.

Yeah, very sad, brown-looking mozzarella.

But maybe when you got your mouth washed up with soap and water, then you got super taster.

Yeah, I washed out all my bad taste buds, and now I've only got the good ones left.

Yeah.

Is that, yeah, yeah, that could have been how it was.

Super tasters.

I want you to meet more super tasters, Rose.

I think this is quite exciting.

I'll get back to you.

It's quite exciting that you're, we haven't had a super taster on the podcast before.

Maybe you go to the gourmet restaurants with other super tasters, and then you all go, oh no, there's too many ingredients in this

to the Michelin star chefs.

Yeah, I don't think we would like it.

But I do think it would be cool to do a show where Michelin star chefs were trying to force me to like their food.

Exactly.

Especially as a super taster.

Because I'm also very stubborn and I don't know how well it would go for them.

Right.

You would just

say

no.

Would you be quite harsh as well with your critiques, criticism of their food?

Yes, even though it comes from a place of not being a foodie.

Yeah, I would be like, as a non-foodie, here's what I have to say to you.

Yeah, because most foodie people are like, oh, Michelin star,

yeah, sure.

But you can be like, look,

I'm a super taster.

Like, you might be a Michelin star chef.

But I have super tastes.

My tongue is better than yours.

It's not going to be true.

Yeah, my tongue is better than yours.

My tongue is better than yours.

We move on to your drink now.

Oh, my drink.

Yeah, this is your dream drink for the meal.

See, none of my food, well, it kind of goes together.

I like lemonade an awful lot, but that would be strange with these dishes, wouldn't it?

So I'm going to go a nice glass of

I like Opus One, that red one.

It's a mix.

It's like a super Tuscan.

So that would be a really nice.

Super Tuscan for a super taster.

Hey, this is absolutely perfect.

And we say it's a mix.

What is it?

I don't really know what the mix is.

I just know it's a mix.

I've never chewed my wine, you see.

We're starting to bring you a knife and fork for this.

Please do, please do.

Please do.

You can get you a knife and fork if you like.

You want to cut up nicely.

There's a brand called a label called Gaia, and it's G-A-J.

Have you ever had that one?

No,

it's incredible.

Someone once bought me a case of it, which is very nice because I never would have bought it for myself because it's around $600

per bottle.

Wow.

Yeah.

That person was rich.

Yeah,

keep that person if you're.

So I did not buy it for myself.

I'm like, I'll top out at like $30, $40 a bottle.

Yeah.

I think you can get

really nice wines for that price, right?

It should be fine.

Surely

once you get above $100, it's but there are those people that are the

what's the word for them?

Onophiles for people that love wine?

Chewers.

Chewers.

Chewophiles.

Yeah.

Chewers Unite.

I think they have no price limit on their thing.

Sure.

But I think they also must be rich.

Because

I don't know.

That seems like an awful lot of money for a bottle of wine.

That is just, I'm always like, I could buy a shirt for that or two shirts at least.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's how you think of it is in shirts.

I think of it in clothing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think of it in clothing.

I was like, I could buy a pair of shoes probably for that or more.

Because you were at

a fashion event last night?

Yesterday, I think.

Right.

And what was it?

It was for Vivian Westwood.

It was her first show in London in a long time.

She's been showing her collection in Paris for a while now.

So it was her return, dame Vivian Westwood, I should say.

And it was kind of a global call to action on climate change.

And I went out and

talked about needing more heroes, things like that.

Right.

While wearing quite the get-up, I was wearing a pillowcase that had a neck slit and arm slits, and it had a hand-drawn caricature of her on it.

She drew it, and then some silver thigh-high boots and a big crown that said angel on it, but it was a paper crown.

And then it had silver tinsel hanging from the crown at one point.

So it was quite a fashion look, let me tell you.

Wow.

Whenever I see you talking about that, you wouldn't understand.

Ed is wearing that, right?

Yeah, I can't believe it.

I thought I was being unique, and here we are.

That is a great outfit.

Whenever I see really high fashion things like that, I just think, oh, I could get a bottle of wine for that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You could buy a nice bottle of wine for that coat.

Did you do a speech about climate change?

Tell them about how

bread running in the fields.

I talked about, no, I actually talked about the financial system.

Right.

And how, obviously,

something called rot dollar, that's what she calls the evil rotten financial system.

Rott dollar is the mechanism that favors the already rich by taxing the already poor.

That is one of my direct lines.

So there's that.

And it's funny to say all that to a fashion crowd who's like, got a lot of fancy clothes on.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

They're like, this might be directed at us.

Is this directed at us?

Excuse me.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

Have you always been into wine since, like, you know, adult heard of several?

Well, actually, no, in Italy, they start you at age five.

It's around age five, and they give you a glass of water and they put a couple of drops of red wine, but they have an incredibly low incidence of alcoholism in Italy.

Right.

Like, very, very low.

And I think it's because they normalize it and it's not like something that's kept from you, like that you're meant to go binge on.

Right, yeah.

It's not really the look there, the binging, not so much.

England and America and Australia,

they love a good binge, and probably some other places too.

Sure.

Because

obviously, we're told to stay away from that, it's bad, or be careful, right?

So then you get a chance, and you're like, oh, yeah, it's on.

I was the same with like, I think it's the same with anything, it's the same with like junk food and things like that.

If you grow up being told that it's really bad and you can't have it, as soon as you leave home, you're like, I can do it.

Well, that's kind of what happened to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

With that, we were, my father was

definitely, he was like farmed a table before that was ever popular.

And we were only allowed to have cereal that came in paper bags.

Nothing was plastic.

So that was ahead of the curve.

So, no BPAs or whatever the hell that's called.

But then when I left the house, I was like, hello, Taco Bell.

What is your name?

Hello, Taco Bell.

What is your name?

It's such a good, it's a great order to say it in.

Wow, cereal in paper bags.

So I'm not familiar with this.

No, you have to go to the hippie store for that.

No.

Right.

Deep hippie.

And what kind of cereal is it?

Puffed rice.

Oh.

It tastes like cardboard.

There's puffed rice.

Puffed rice with soy milk.

Whoa.

Yeah.

We were never allowed to own a microwave.

We didn't, nothing.

Oh, this is in the commune still as well.

No, this is even in America.

Right.

So even, so if the commune was in Italy.

Yeah.

If I was being offered puffed rice with soy milk for breakfast, I'd be a pill person.

Maybe that's what happened in the middle.

Yeah, I mean, it's quite a food journey you've had of like,

like, to go from the best food ever in Tuscany to American

fried, fluorescent-colored weirdness to then trying to be an adult out in the world but never having learned how to cook it's it's a little unmanageable and then becoming a super taster

the narrative of the whole thing is like yeah that's why i like rice pudding so much oh really not with cinnamon that's too much for me i mean we're coming to raisins we're coming to your dessert now i'm gonna throw you for a curve with my dessert oh is it the dessert not gonna be rice pudding no do you want to throw rice pudding in there as an honorable muncheon?

Rice pudding definitely, if it's done right, gets an honorable mention.

Not with with raisins, though I don't like the raisins in it.

No.

Raisins, scram.

And no cinnamon?

No cinnamon.

Just straight rice pudding.

Straight up rice pudding.

Yeah, that's how I like my drink.

Oh, yeah.

Plants.

Plant rice pudding.

Yeah,

you got to chew a rice pudding.

You got to chew a rice pudding.

Not much.

Oh, that's what I was thinking about earlier.

Rice pudding, not wine.

I'm looking forward to this curveball now.

This is where I go into the deep south in America.

I like red velvet cake.

Oh, yeah.

And that's, I make it actually, and I make quite a good one.

The secret is putting in two giant bottles of red food coloring so it looks just like blood.

And then you have a white cream cheese frosting, which is delightful.

And it's just like red and white, but really red.

And kind of a German chocolate base, which is kind of a milk chocolate.

So it's not like a lot of people use like a dark chocolate base, and that just makes your cake look muddy instead of bloody.

Right, yeah, yeah.

You want bloody, not muddy.

Bloody, not muddy.

Always remember that, kids.

That's the rule.

So, you got a germ.

I've always been, I think I've had good red velvet stuff and not so good.

I've had not so good too.

Yeah, so when you get a good one, you're like, that is delightful.

And it was Elvis's favorite.

Was it?

Yeah.

I didn't know that.

I'm not sure that's a good thing for a food.

I think

it's the best thing for a food.

Everything Elvis's favourite?

Yep.

He also liked fried peanut butter butter and banana sandwiches.

Yeah.

Which I've tried.

Not fried, but I've toasted them.

That's quite good.

I bet that'd be absolutely delicious.

A fried peanut butter, but all the things he liked.

Look,

if those things ended up, you know, cut his life short, they must have been good.

I think it was more the pills, but probably that stuff didn't help either.

He was a pill person.

Yeah, he was a pill person.

He was a real pill person.

He was a real pill person.

Maybe, yeah, I mean, individually, they sound nice.

I guess it's just the quantity that Elvis maybe struggled with.

I went to Graceland, actually.

Oh, yeah.

And at first, I thought, ha ha ha, isn't this funny?

And then by the end, you're crying because I didn't realize he's buried in the backyard.

Oh, right.

And that was a shock.

I was like, oh.

And then, but as you start going through the house, it gets kind of more and more depressing in a weird way.

There's this room because he was so isolated from humans.

Other than, you know, if he had to go to movies, he would rent out the whole movie theater, but he would go in the middle of the night.

He couldn't.

Obviously, it was Elvis.

So, you know, that, and he was hugely famous, especially in America.

And

by the end, there's this one room, his TV room, and he had a whole wall of TVs, but they have gunshot holes in them because he would get mad at the TV and shoot them.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

And then you go out in the back to his grave.

And that's Graceland, everybody.

Yeah, that's a heavy end-to-end day out.

It is.

I was like, oh.

Shot the TV.

What shows would make you so angry?

that you would shoot the TV.

Well, apparently you prefer the voice to America's Got Talent.

So maybe America or Britain's Got Talent, you would shoot your TV.

I would shoot the TV.

Every time you hit an X, you pull the trigger, right?

Yeah, pull the trigger.

Yeah.

Red velvet.

Now, red velvet cake.

I've had nice red velvet cake, but it doesn't, the flavor is...

It's not going to go with the rest of it.

No, no, no, not at all.

And it doesn't have to go with the rest of the meal.

This is your dream meal.

Yeah, yeah.

It's not a particular flavor, is it?

The red does not...

It's not a clean colour.

No, I think it's psychological.

Right, okay.

One time I made a green velvet cake.

It was the ugly.

I ran out of red food coloring and it was someone's birthday.

It was the ugliest cake you have ever seen.

It was bright green with white frosting.

It was disgusting looking, but it was really good.

It was probably my best cake.

But the crowd was a little shocked.

It just doesn't fit

psychologically.

It's a tough one to eat.

If it was St.

Patrick's Day.

For St.

Patrick's Day, it was not St.

Patrick's Day.

So this was a friend's birthday who was expecting.

Did you still call it a red velvet cake?

Yeah.

Yeah.

With an asterisk.

Yeah, it's a red velvet cake everywhere also if you didn't even reference it it was green they just said i've made everyone a really nice red velvet cake and then produced it i didn't reference it actually and i did produce it and they did they say anything or did they go

there there was a hush over the crowd a little hush and then a bunch of talking yeah and then it started to worry about oh she's colorblind she's colorblind too now

oh my god maybe she's a super seer yeah yeah it's all i actually think it does it does go very well with the rest of your meal because there's something red in your...

Oh, that's true.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

That runs through the whole.

Yeah.

That's a good through line.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're a very red meal.

Do you want to change the colour of your flag?

No.

No.

Stick with the red.

Still bright orange.

Still red orange.

Red is.

I like red, but not as.

I wouldn't say that's my flag colour.

No.

It's more flavor-wise.

My book cover is even fluorescent orange.

Is it?

Brave by Rose McGowan.

It is.

Fluorescent orange.

I'll advertise it as much as I need to.

Thank you, pop chips.

Oh, that's a fun, cool nickname.

Mike, I'm going to read your order back to you now, Rose.

Okay.

You would like still water.

You would like some

butter naan as your bread.

You would like, for your starter, mozzarella, tomatoes, and olive oil.

Your main, you would like pasta with tomatoes, basil and parmesan.

Side, oh, you also you don't want that crumbled, you want that sliced up.

Yes, slivered.

Slivered.

Side dish, you'll like sauteed spinach with garlic and olive oil.

Drink, an opus one super tuscan red wine.

And for dessert, red velvet cake made by your own hands.

Correct.

That is a very nice red meal.

That's a very red meal.

Didn't realise how red it would be, did you, Jean?

I did not know.

When Ed revealed the redness, you were like, that is red, actually.

Maybe that's a bit too red.

Maybe that's, I'm going to have to rethink it.

But I think, no, it's good to go with one colour.

So some beetroots.

Choose some beetroots in there.

Those are purple.

They are purple, but

they look red on the plate.

Yeah, yeah.

I've got some bad news.

A bull is walking past the restaurant.

Oh, yeah.

And he's going to come crashing in here.

Now he's seen it.

Distracting me.

Yeah.

Get rid of him.

Well, thank you so much for coming, Rose.

You've been a wonderful

wonderful guest in the restaurant.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

What a brilliant menu from Rose McGowan.

Simple and delicious.

Yeah, I love the sort of three to four ingredients rule.

Yeah, that's a very good rule.

No one's really implemented that before on this podcast.

And you know what?

I wasn't spotting the revelation about being a super taster.

Oh, I did not see that coming.

It was a massive twist and fascinating.

I want to meet more super tasters.

So fascinating.

And the fact it only came up about halfway through as well.

Yep.

Whereas she was like, I'm going to keep that piece of information and I'm going to drop it in as a twist.

Because if I was a super taster and I went on a food podcast,

before the microphones were on, I'd storm in and go, by the way, I'm a super taster.

Yeah, just so you know I'm a super taster.

You're in the presence of a super taster.

Yep.

I'm going to start saying that anyway.

Even though it's not true.

People can't prove you wrong, can they?

No, they can't tell me what I can taste or what I can't taste.

I'm going to walk into a restaurant, say I'm a super taster, and get them on their best game.

James, here's a point I'd like to raise.

Rose McGowan is such an interesting woman and has done so much and I don't think does a lot of podcasts.

Yeah, yeah, very rare to get Rose McGowan on a podcast, actually.

Do you think people are going to be angry that we literally talk to her about food for an hour?

Oh, we didn't ask her about more interesting stuff.

No.

Hmm, that has occurred to me.

So I guess it would be quite, you could get quite quite a lot.

You could talk to about very many, many fascinating things with Rose McGowan.

Yes.

And we asked her, imagine a farm where all the animals are made of bread.

And what does the brioche look like?

And what's the brioche doing up on that hill?

I mean, you are right there is as a time i asked her you know what what colours the flag of your country yeah uh if you're gonna make it and i i wasn't really down oh i didn't go much in depth about things but you know

Those are our interests.

But look, that's why we do a food podcast because we like food, guys.

So, you know, we're not here to do a sort of interesting WTF style podcast.

We want to ask people, what's that brioche doing on the hill?

Yeah, what's the brioche doing on the hill?

And, you know, how do you think that the bread farm and the cheese farm would get on with each other if they were neighbors

but a brilliant menu and a brilliant guest uh and also she didn't not only did she not say the secret ingredient i was very surprised that she actively came out against the secret ingredient very happy with that that means that's a lifetime you can come to this restaurant whenever you like yeah we'll always cook you whatever you want because you've without even even being prompted said that you hate folks well she's a stockholder in the restaurant now Yeah, she's a stockholder in the restaurant.

She's my boss.

Silent partner.

Silent partner, Ed.

I'm completely happy with that.

That was

very heartening to have a guest call up the secret ingredient before we did.

If you want to know what Rose thinks about some genuinely interesting stuff that isn't bread farm-based, you can buy her book Brave, which I would highly suggest doing.

Yep, that is out now.

Also, you can catch up with us.

We're doing stuff as well.

Come catch up.

Online.

I'm on tour.

If you go onto Ed Gamble Comedy on Twitter and Instagram, onto my website, edgamble.co.uk, you can find out about where I am, James.

Yes, Ed.

And I am jamesacasto.com and there's stuff on there.

Links on there to gigs to

other stuff I've done.

Books and he's a productive man.

There's a lot flying around.

And James, we're having a little break, aren't we, from the podcast?

Absolutely fair enough.

You can't come here every single week.

We've got to have a holiday like anyone else.

Look, it's with us.

It's a dream meal, but not any dream will do.

So we've got to take a little break

and find us some more lovely guests.

And also, you're going abroad for some shows, I understand.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going abroad for a bit.

Melbourne, New Zealand.

So, America.

The problem with James is a genie is he's not one of those genies who can go from country to country, so he doesn't need to get a plane.

So, we can't afford to fly the genie back for any more podcasts.

So, when the genie is back in town, we will be recording more and we'll be back for series two.

But for now, let's leave the restaurant, turn off the lights, and lock that door.

Sleep tight, everybody.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check Lyft.

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Oh, hi, James.

Have you heard the news?

Oh, yeah, go on.

You and I are modern boys because the Off Menu podcast is now on YouTube.

This is embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing, man?

You love YouTube.

I love watching clips on YouTube.

Sure.

Now people can watch clips of Off Menu on YouTube and full episodes.

But it's embarrassing, man it's not embarrassing at all it's really cool we're on youtube with the great and good the coolest people in the world are on youtube me you logan paul who's logan paul the dad from succession at off menu podcast that's what benito's calling us now and we're on tick tock this is embarrassing man it's not embarrassing man we're cool we're like olivia rodrigo and ed people have been asking us battering us bothering us actually they want to watch the stephen graham supercut from the stephen graham episodes they can see all of his reactions to us everything that he did or benito has bent to their whims and he's going to put it on youtube he's going to do it follow us at off menu official on tick tock at off menu podcasts on youtube you can watch clips from the podcast and on youtube you can watch full video episodes people have been asking for it and you're finally getting it full video episodes so you can see every single nuance on our little faces