Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco EXCLUSIVE: Their Love Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before

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Speaker 2 I'm going to go back to the first time you ever met.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for tuning in one of the great times. Thank you.

Speaker 3 I'm Selena, but we're watching Dizzy Hill.

Speaker 4 When you're a pop star like she is and you're a huge entity and people set up all these walls before and then the first second you like disarmed everybody.

Speaker 4 By the way, congratulations on your engagement.

Speaker 2 When you first were meeting and recording together, there was a sense of you were protecting yourself. What gave you confidence to open up?

Speaker 3 What I felt for Benny, it was everything about him was honest. He'll tell me anything that he's feeling and it made me feel like I could do the same.

Speaker 2 If we would have met each other when we were younger, it would have never worked.

Speaker 4 We've both grown as individuals and met at the perfect time, and I believe life is like that.

Speaker 3 When Benny looks at me, I don't think he sees anything but who I am, and that's very rare to find. But when you do know, it feels right.

Speaker 2 You talk about being best friends so much. Was it scary thinking, what are we going to lose if this gets romantic?

Speaker 4 The number one health and wellness podcast.

Speaker 2 Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty.

Speaker 3 Oh my gosh. I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 2 You know, I love you both.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 2 We love you. It's such a fun, like coming together when this, when you guys called me and said you wanted to do this, I was just like, how special is it that we first met now seven years ago?

Speaker 2 And then because of you, I got to meet this amazing man.

Speaker 2 And I feel like we've kicked off of romance and that makes me happy yeah and because of you i just feel like we've been spending so much time together and so i'm so grateful to you both for trusting me and over the years and the fact that you've been on you've been on and now we get both of you it's like thank you it's so special here it's a very uh safe cozy place Benny and Selena.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Welcome back to On Purpose for the first time together.

Speaker 2 I am so grateful to you both. It's been a joy getting to know you both over the last few years.
And

Speaker 2 I am so happy for you both. Thank you.
This is just so beautiful and special. And because of you, Selena, I got to know Benny so much more.
And Benny and I have been hanging out.

Speaker 2 We've been meditating. We've been

Speaker 3 eating.

Speaker 2 We've been...

Speaker 3 That makes me really happy.

Speaker 2 But it's thanks to you. It's thanks to you for bringing us together.
And I was just saying, as a man, it's so hard to make male friendships as you get older.

Speaker 2 I really, is that so? Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 4 Well, it's just like when you're an adult, it's like, I have my people.

Speaker 2 And it's like, what?

Speaker 4 I have to let a new person in? Like, you barely have time for your people that you have.

Speaker 4 So you're like, wait, in order to get a new person, I have to like move another person down the list to slot a new person in.

Speaker 2 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 4 Because there's not enough, because there's not, you know, you start to get to an age. It's like Larry David always says this.
He says, I have friends that I'm not even friends with.

Speaker 4 I've just been friends with them for so long, I can't let them go because they're already built in. It's like a therapist.

Speaker 2 They already know everything.

Speaker 4 You can't teach a new person.

Speaker 2 That's hilarious. Shane disagrees.

Speaker 3 It's not necessarily that I disagree. I guess I just always thought that guys have this immediate like, what's up? And then they're just like in a flow.
So I just, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I found that interesting.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I feel like you get guarded as you get older a little bit.

Speaker 4 Sometimes I wish I weren't as wise because when you, I'm not wise at all, but I'm saying like, it's like when you listen to something like for me for music.

Speaker 4 I listened to things when I was like 18 and I was like, oh my God, I didn't know any of the rules. I wasn't thinking of anything.

Speaker 4 It all comes so easily because you're not not confined to like this box that you've put yourself in over the years. And then by the end, you're like, oh, you know, I'm 36, almost 37.

Speaker 4 I'm like, oh, I can't do that. And it's, it's like, there's, there is some sort of freedom to being really young too.

Speaker 2 There definitely is. There definitely is.

Speaker 2 But I was saying that watching both your love story, and I know you were saying, Selena, two seconds ago, you're like, this is such a safe and cozy space to come to.

Speaker 2 I'm hoping that today we get to know your love story on a deeper level and we get to access really what's in your hearts and minds because I think there's so many interviews and so many things that kind of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but I hope we can go deeper.

Speaker 2 So what I want to start with is I want to actually rewind and I want to rewind to a place where we don't retell the story, but we get to relive your story with you.

Speaker 2 And I think there's a difference because when we tell a story, it's like, this is what happened. But when we relive it, it's almost like going back to who we were.
when that happened.

Speaker 2 So I want to go back to the first time you ever met and I want to hear about it.

Speaker 3 well the funny thing is is we actually it was so long ago that we don't remember we we know that her mother

Speaker 4 put us in a meeting together when

Speaker 4 how old were you 16 so she was 16.

Speaker 4 oh i didn't realize it was that and and and well i'm like four or five years older than you so i was probably 20 21 and her mom was trying to get her into music and her mom is

Speaker 4 amazing the way she goes from room to room gets had her on the show yeah she's a power powerful show. Gets things to happen.
And, you know, and somehow she got us a meeting together.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 4 we don't remember that.

Speaker 4 And, you know, after we had done songs together, there was one time where

Speaker 4 it was probably 2016 or 17 or something. I remember when

Speaker 2 you

Speaker 4 were in a studio, like Interscope Suzu. And I remember I came, she doesn't remember it, but I remember I came in and I had this

Speaker 4 talk with you. And I remember being like, whoa,

Speaker 4 wow, like Synonym's really like a complex person, like in a good way. And I was like, wow, she's, she's, she's so deep.

Speaker 4 And we had this conversation where I really, I was just really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And then we went and thought nothing more of it.
And then

Speaker 4 when we did our song together, I remember leaving,

Speaker 4 not feeling romantic at all.

Speaker 4 I just remember leaving and I was talking, you know, because when you're a pop star like she is and you're a huge entity and, and, and you've done so many things in your life

Speaker 4 before, like people set up all these walls before. So it's like, you get like, like before I came in, they were like, well, you know, this thing's like this and this is like this.

Speaker 4 And like, she might not want to do that. And like stuff.
And they, they speak for people so much. And then I remember we were so, me and the director were so nervous.

Speaker 4 And then the the first second, you like disarmed everybody. And I remember walking back, and Jake was like, He's like, the guy who directing with me is like, it's going to be so easy.

Speaker 2 What they, they made it seem like she was, this was going to be this crazy thing.

Speaker 4 And the warmth I felt from her in that moment, I remember leaving being like, wow, Selena's such a cool girl. She

Speaker 2 doesn't remember this at all. No, no, she remembers this video.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I remember the video part, but it was interesting because, um, yes, I don't have a very good memory, but uh, I just remember the video shoot.

Speaker 3 I didn't see anything romantic nor really felt that, but I had a really good time. And that was probably the first time after years of doing music together and not together.

Speaker 3 That was the first time I really got to hang out with him. And it was fun.
I had a good time.

Speaker 3 And that was that.

Speaker 3 And then how it kind of continued was

Speaker 3 I was always cautious because I always wanted to make sure that I did protect myself. So to be honest, I didn't talk to him very often.

Speaker 4 I thought she hated him.

Speaker 2 Really? I really hated it. I knew that was coming.
I really did.

Speaker 4 I thought she didn't, like, I would see her and I would be like, does she not like me? Like, and I like, we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow, she really like didn't talk to me.

Speaker 4 And I was like, I thought I was being nice. And like, my friends would be like, no, no.
And then like, there was another time I remember and my friends were like, oh, yeah, that's kind of weird.

Speaker 3 And I was like, so sorry.

Speaker 4 And there was like a few times and I, and I didn't know.

Speaker 3 and i was just like you know i was like that's okay i thought i was being like polite by not

Speaker 3 she didn't really engage basically we

Speaker 3 i was working on some music and we

Speaker 3 we went through some of the demos that we had in single soon

Speaker 3 came up which is ironic because it was actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life. But Benny happened to do the song.

Speaker 4 No, no, I didn't even do this. It was like one of my guys.

Speaker 2 Oh, and you came to face.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I like came to help out because I was like, oh, I want their song to, I was like, I don't like the way this product. Let me just at least help them.

Speaker 4 I said, I was like, well, I'm not sure if it'll be okay because I don't know if Selena likes me or something.

Speaker 4 And then John Janick, the, you know, the president of Interscope, he was like, well, why don't you just go into the session?

Speaker 4 She usually doesn't have people in, but just go in. And like, if there is something that you feel is weird, like try to to just smooth it over and talk to her and get in.

Speaker 4 And I said, okay, I'm going to go smooth it over. So I went in.
It was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer told me like later that she was like, oh, Benny's coming.

Speaker 3 And she was like, and here's our reasoning. I'm going to defend myself.
I get very nervous around the producers watching me sing.

Speaker 4 Of course.

Speaker 3 It's just a very intimate thing for me. I feel like I need to sound a certain way or do whatever to make them happy.

Speaker 3 And when I I get to record with just me and my engineer and maybe someone I trust, I get more out of the experience.

Speaker 3 So I just was thinking, okay, well, maybe he'll stay for 10 minutes and we'll just talk for a second. And 10 minutes turned into like 30.

Speaker 3 Then he went to the other room and I finished recording and he stayed there. And then, yeah,

Speaker 3 this is too long.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 Okay, so here, so from my perspective, here's what happened. I get in there.
I'm I'm like, I'm like, I got to smooth this.

Speaker 2 I love this back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I was like, I don't have this with anyone. Like, I was like, I want us to be chill.
And obviously 99% of it was in my head. And

Speaker 4 I come in. We just start talking about life and her ANR is there.
One of my friends is there. We're just, we're talking about life.

Speaker 4 We start talking about dating. And I was like, yeah, you know, I went out on this date, blah, blah, blah.
And then I was talking to her and I said, oh, my God, I have so many good single guy friends.

Speaker 4 I was like, we have dinners at the the house all the time. You should come over sometime.
And I wasn't even thinking about anything.

Speaker 4 And we're like talking about like our ideal date and like this and that. And I wanted to make sure she did the line right.
So I was like, oh, I'll stay there to like make sure it's good after.

Speaker 4 And then, um, so I did. We left.
And then you text me. I didn't have her cell phone number because I, she changed her number a bunch.

Speaker 4 So I, I like asked someone, I said, hey, uh, give me your cell phone number. I want to say like, you know, thank you.
And I wrote, I was like, oh my God, you were.

Speaker 4 And during that, I, when I was with her, I was like, oh, my God. I was like, not only, she's like really cool.

Speaker 4 I was like, I want, I was like, I want to be like, I was like, I want her to be like in our friend group. And I couldn't even be thinking.
I was like, I want her to be in our friend group.

Speaker 4 And I want to make sure this thing's smoothed out. So the song figures out, goes well.
And everything. So I said, let me just text her.
Thank you or whatever.

Speaker 4 And I was like, you know, you were so sweet or something, something like that. And then she writes back.
I guess we just were texting throughout the day.

Speaker 4 And she, she told me, she looked back at our message. She said, somehow you started sending like selfies where you looked really bad on purpose, like the worst ones in your life.

Speaker 2 You started to do that.

Speaker 3 Yes, which by the way, no girls should really,

Speaker 3 or anyone in their right mind to someone they would have a crush on do that. But we were talking about ugly photos, like, because I always say I take the worst photos sometimes.
And

Speaker 3 he's like, oh, you said something. And I sent him the worst pictures of me.
Like, since like in bed, sick and then, you know, me at weird photo shoots. And now looking back on it, I'm

Speaker 3 just thinking, that's, these are so weird. I don't know why I sent it.

Speaker 4 I didn't see me in that moment yet or not yet. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, you did. Okay.
So that's what I was trying to figure out. I had no idea.

Speaker 4 So I had no idea. And somehow we decide.

Speaker 2 So wait, why did you do that if you liked Benny? Why were you sending him?

Speaker 3 Well, because I didn't know that it was going to be, like, maybe I thought it was just going to be flirting and not really anything else.

Speaker 3 But I really started to

Speaker 3 just,

Speaker 3 I don't know, fall for her.

Speaker 4 So I didn't know any of this.

Speaker 4 And then we decide.

Speaker 4 We're like, I forget how it happens, but we're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh, my friend's having

Speaker 4 a birthday party tomorrow. I was like, just come along.
And I was like, just thinking friend stuff. And then, so she comes to mine.
And I guess she thought the party was going to be at my house.

Speaker 4 But I was like, oh, in my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over and we can just like grab a drink first and then go there. Like, like, not thinking anything of it.

Speaker 4 I was like, we'll just like grab a drink at my friend's wine bar. It's on the way.
And then we'll go there. You were there and we were sitting together.
And she said something like, well, you know.

Speaker 3 because it's a date i wore blah blah and i was like and in i was like no i said if this was a date i definitely would have dressed like nicer.

Speaker 3 And he just kind of looked at me and I thought we were on a date.

Speaker 4 And I was like, we're on a date. And then, and then we went.
And then we didn't really talk about it.

Speaker 2 Wait, you thought, who thought it was a date?

Speaker 4 She thought it was.

Speaker 2 She thought it was a date. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 A nice man takes me out for a drink.

Speaker 2 I'm assuming it's a date. I didn't know.
But no one had asked each other out yet.

Speaker 4 No, it was like, let's just hang out.

Speaker 4 And then we go to my friends. We go to this Thai restaurant.
We go to Jit Lada and we're like hanging out. And there's a bunch of people there.

Speaker 4 And then she all of a sudden like leaves and she was like, I got to go to, I have a video shoot really early in the morning. And I was like, okay.

Speaker 4 And I was like, but I wasn't like, cause it wasn't a date to me or anything. So I was like, okay, cool.
And I stayed with my friends and stuff. And then she texts me after.

Speaker 4 And I remember you being like, that was like one of the most fun times I've had in a really long time.

Speaker 2 Selena, so you technically asked Benny out on the first official date. She did.
She did like every walk us through. Walk us through that confidence, that energy because it's energy.
Confidence.

Speaker 3 That's the scary part. I think that's when I recognized that I had some sort of feelings for him.
Walking to his house or into his home to go to his friend's thing, I was very nervous.

Speaker 3 And I'm not normally like that unless it's like an event or something where it could be overwhelming. But with anyone I talk to, I'm able to talk to people and I feel like I'm good at it.

Speaker 3 But I just felt like all these feelings. And then when we went out, I was laughing and I didn't feel like he wanted anything or there was weird motives.

Speaker 3 It's, it's sad that, you know, people have to think that way. But I don't know.
I felt this immediate safety and I was very pleased that

Speaker 3 I don't know, we were friends and then I became,

Speaker 4 you know. The next time we hung out, it was, it was, we just hung out at home and we just like, we're chilling and we were playing that game.

Speaker 2 We're not

Speaker 4 really strangers to.

Speaker 2 It's a great game.

Speaker 4 And my friend made that game.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 And we were just playing it. And we had both played it.
And I was like, okay, sure, we can play it. And we played it.
And there was like a card that said, like, take a selfie together. And.

Speaker 4 We like took a selfie. She like screwed up.
We took a selfie. And then right after the selfie, we just kissed.
And then,

Speaker 2 well, no, that's it.

Speaker 4 And then she's very private. And then, and then basically the rest was history.
And we started hanging out so much. And it just like very quickly, I was like, oh my God, my whole life, I was like,

Speaker 4 oh, this is, this is my person. Like, I'm going to marry this person.
This is, oh, this is the thing. This is what it feels like.
It was so different than any of those feelings.

Speaker 4 And I was like, holy shit. I just, I met my best friend.
This is my best friend. Nothing gets any better than this.
It can't get better.

Speaker 4 There's no, I, this is my, this is like better than any friend I have that's a guy, and I get to kiss them.

Speaker 2 Like, it was like, it was, it was insane to me.

Speaker 4 So I was like, I can't let this go. I got, and it, it was so funny because before I met her, I,

Speaker 4 with my therapist, I had made a list saying like, these are all the things I want. I'm telling her list.
You want to know it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to know.

Speaker 4 Okay. Okay.
So before I met her, you know,

Speaker 4 I was a

Speaker 4 guy in in LA trying to find the one for me. And I was having some trouble.
And I, and, and, and I think I was like, maybe not looking in all the right places.

Speaker 4 And I was like, okay, it's time to be a grownup. Like, I want to like.
start a life. I want to have a family.
I want to find a person that like is my other half that makes me feel better.

Speaker 4 And I make them feel better. And it's, it's, it's a give and take.
It's the perfect yin and yang.

Speaker 4 So i wrote down a list and the first thing on my list was age appropriate okay so that was i love that

Speaker 4 and it was 30 plus okay so that was number one on my list yes not number one but it was the first thing i wrote yeah and then the second thing i wrote was i said i know these are so simple but it's so hard to come by somebody who's kind compassionate and caring I was like, that's really three in one, but that was my, but I was like, I need someone who's like nice and is like a genuine genuine nice person.

Speaker 2 You said something really important. The reason I'm bringing it up is because I feel a lot of women, but a lot of people feel this way.

Speaker 2 And you said when you first were meeting and recording together, there was a sense of you were protecting yourself. Yes.
And I think that's a very human thing. And I think it's a very normal thing.

Speaker 2 And especially in this day and age, especially in your position to add to it. What was it that.
You know, at one point you said, I'm going to adopt at 35 if I don't find someone.

Speaker 2 Like you had your whole life mapped out when you met Benny.

Speaker 2 But then, and you said you were protecting yourself, but then you started to open up.

Speaker 2 Could you walk us through what gave you confidence to open up, but what that feels like when you're trying to protect yourself? Because I think that's the push and pull that everyone's going through.

Speaker 3 Well, I think, first of all, making plans and trying to stick to them is silly because you don't know what's going to happen. And

Speaker 3 I can't believe that I get to marry my best friend. So, but yes, I think for me, I was genuinely set.

Speaker 3 But it was once I let go of me just saying, I want someone, and I wish I had this, and I wish I had that.

Speaker 3 Instead, I changed my mind to, I'm so lucky that I get to wake up and my family is healthy, and I love spending time with my friends. And you know what?

Speaker 3 If it doesn't happen, I know that I've always wanted to be a mom, and you know, so of course I kind of planned that out. i think it was because

Speaker 3 when benny looks at me i don't think he

Speaker 3 he sees anything but who i am and that's very rare to find

Speaker 3 he knows when i'm feeling a certain way and kind of

Speaker 3 before i can even let it get to a place of where it's unbearable he has already talked me through

Speaker 3 a spiral and protecting myself on multiple reasons, you know, doing,

Speaker 3 you know, doing music, working with someone that's kind of, you know, like, oh, I don't know if I should do that. But I genuinely just watched it.
It just happened.

Speaker 3 I think when you know, and oh, that's so cheesy to say, but when you do know, it feels right.

Speaker 3 And I think that that's what happened to me. And I just felt very comfortable with it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Denny, how do you feel that you almost sabotaged your relationship by nearly introducing Selena to your friends how does that feel like when you're like hey wait a minute come and meet my friends there might be some nice guys for you to meet i feel like it all happens for a reason i feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed her enough to like you know it's we talked about this before like if we would have met each other when we were younger it would have never worked it's like we've both grown as individuals and met at the perfect time.

Speaker 4 And I believe life is like that. And sometimes it doesn't make sense.
And sometimes it's not the right reasons. And we're like, why is this happening?

Speaker 4 But I always believe that I, you know, I don't know. I believe in fate.
I believe in all that.

Speaker 4 And I believe, you know, if you're good to people karmically, it's going to come back to you 10 times over. Maybe you might get in that moment and someone's going to do you really dirty.

Speaker 4 But over a long period of time, I think things are going to go your way.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Was it scary? Because you talk about being best friends so much.
Was it scary thinking, what are we going to lose if this gets romantic as friends? No, no, it did go right away.

Speaker 2 It happened right away.

Speaker 2 This was all one day.

Speaker 4 That was one day. Like, like everything really happened within.
And then, look, there was

Speaker 4 once we knew that we liked each other, there's that part where like, you know, we're both extremely busy people. So it's like,

Speaker 4 it takes a second. to where you fully prioritize, you know, because it's like, at first, you date someone, you say, okay, I'll see you this time once a week.

Speaker 2 And then it's like, oh, okay, this person's getting cool we'll go twice a week and it's like wait don't leave my house I miss you like it all happened so quickly one thing that you both did was you had a long distance relationship for a while like you were in different states and managing that you both have crazy work schedules and I was thinking in your positions it can get very easy to be like oh that person's never available they canceled again like well they've got a million things they're running away i mean you were just about to say you both are starting to travel together right now for work as well but how did you manage that because i I think a lot of our viewers are like, Do long-distance relationships work, and do too busy people relationships work?

Speaker 2 How would you both say you've managed both of those parts?

Speaker 3 Biggest thing in the world is trust. Um, I can say with all my heart that I trust this person.
Um, so for me, knowing that I have a 12 to 14-hour day on set,

Speaker 3 I won't get to talk to him every second, which I don't need, but I know just hearing from him one time check in with me and say,

Speaker 3 I love you and I hope the day is going well, I just feel safe and I've never felt that before.

Speaker 3 And if you feel like you're in a situation that doesn't feel like you're a unit, that makes it scarier and then that causes friction, then it causes trust issues.

Speaker 3 So for me, I would have to say communication and trust helps, but it

Speaker 3 doesn't always work. It's hard.

Speaker 4 I feel like at the beginning, there were a few

Speaker 4 almost sabotages. She didn't like she was like, That's fair.
At the very beginning, in like her first few trips away, she was still gaining that trust. So there was, there were moments.

Speaker 3 of sincere doubt.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, yeah. And we all have, that's normal.

Speaker 4 We all have moments in our life because like we're only made up. I tell everyone this.

Speaker 4 It's like when you, when you start dating someone, you're not only dating them, you're dating every single person they've ever dated, every single relationship they've ever had in their past, every, because you're getting every piece of baggage that that person's carried and that, what they've learned through their own personal life, through the life with partners, with their parents, with this, that.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I had to find a way.

Speaker 4 to build that trust with her, not make it feel overbearing and make it feel real and make her actually believe it and vice versa. Like I know that she fully trust.

Speaker 4 If I say, hey, I'm just going to do this today. There's nowhere in her mind that's thinking that.
And if for any chance that she, I always told her, I said, it's okay.

Speaker 4 If you have moments of doubt in something, in a feeling, always talk to me and I'll talk you through anything that you may have. You know, if you say, hey, I know this is a crazy thing.

Speaker 4 I just had a dream and I woke up from this dream and I was upset. Sometimes she'll just say, like, please tell me I can trust you, or please tell me you're not doing anything stupid.

Speaker 4 And I say, you can call me anytime you want.

Speaker 4 And I'm aware of

Speaker 4 her strengths and I'm aware of her weaknesses. And what I try to do is surround her with a lot of things to help her.

Speaker 4 So if she's away, And I have to go to a dinner, then a party, then this thing, then that thing, it's a simple text in between each things that says, hey, babe, I'm going to this next thing.

Speaker 4 I'm thinking about you. Hey, you know, you know, where couples, where it starts to hit is when they miss that text.
They don't call the person.

Speaker 4 They wait until the next, like, it's just like, I know what she needs to succeed. So I'm going to help her succeed.
I'm not going to be a dick. I'm not not going to hit her up.

Speaker 4 And she doesn't need a lot. She's like the easiest person in the world.
But I know, yeah, she wants to talk to me before she goes to bed.

Speaker 4 She wants me to say i love you she wants me to text her if i wind up having to stay somewhere two hours late just just a simple take out your phone and

Speaker 4 done and and i know that no i know that stuff

Speaker 4 really helps especially when you're long distance because it's natural you're far away from someone you say i'm not with this person i'm not as connected to them we're not we're not meant to be far you're not supposed to be long distance with your partner supposed to be right next to your partner like it's like it's, we do things in life

Speaker 4 that, that we have to do. And we both are very focused on our careers and we're very driven.
And you have to find a way to make it work that's comfortable. You have to talk to your partner.

Speaker 4 You have to understand them. I think people's biggest problems, especially men, are that

Speaker 4 we don't listen all the time. You got to listen.
Just shut the f ⁇ up and listen. Listen to what they're saying.

Speaker 4 A woman is going to tell you exactly what she needs. Like when guys are like, I don't know what she wants.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 4 She told you already. You're just an idiot.
You're not listening. Just listen.

Speaker 4 A girl is, if a girl is getting frustrated with you on something, she's definitely told you multiple times and you're just not paying attention.

Speaker 4 So it's like, just listen.

Speaker 4 And don't be reactionary. Proactively do these things.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you do the same thing, but when you're away from your partner, you just try to think of little things that's going to make them feel more comfortable, better. You know,

Speaker 4 I'm, on the other hand, I'm like living on the moon. So it's like, she doesn't have to really do anything for me because i'm like i'm all in on on everything with her and

Speaker 4 i fully trust her in every capacity and my whole life i've always been like this i trust everyone until they give me a reason not to yes okay and i trust people to be who they are okay and so far

Speaker 4 i know who she is So until further notice, that's how I'm going to treat her. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I totally get that. Yeah.
That's my thoughts on it. Oh, I love that.
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Speaker 4 I remember there was a time we didn't want this to be like a public thing because unfortunately for Selena, her life is

Speaker 4 always under the spotlight, being scrutinized at every moment and this and that and for good, for bad.

Speaker 4 And I remember sitting with her and we'd been seeing each other, you know, secretly for months and months and months.

Speaker 4 And we were about to go to New York and we just made a conscious effort that we were like, we don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 4 We want to be able to go out and have fun and like, and, you know, just live our lives. And

Speaker 4 at that point, I knew that it was serious enough to dive in.

Speaker 4 Like, like that I was like, okay, I don't care what comes with this because I love this person so much already that like. We literally said, I love you on that trip.

Speaker 4 She had already said, I love you to me a few times.

Speaker 2 Okay, wait. So the album.
I said, I love you first. Yes.
So Selena, you said, I love you first.

Speaker 2 Yes, she said it first. What made you want to say that? Because that's a big step, I assume.

Speaker 3 I definitely have never been the first.

Speaker 2 So this is the first time in your life you were the first. Yes.

Speaker 3 Wow. I wanted him to also know how committed I was.
And deep down, I just felt that. And I...

Speaker 3 I was tired of protecting myself. We had spent enough time together where,

Speaker 3 you know, I felt like this was my person and I had the courage enough to say it but I was very nervous and luckily he said it back did you say it back the first time

Speaker 4 well there was a

Speaker 3 okay well there's been some slip-ups well okay okay

Speaker 4 she was she um has a plate in her hand because she she had like an accident and she was like coming up from i think that was oh he's talking about a metal plate yeah she was had surgery or something she was coming out of anesthesia And

Speaker 2 she was like sitting there and she was like, I love you.

Speaker 4 And then I was like, what? And she was like, and she's like, I love you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I don't remember.

Speaker 4 I didn't say anything back yet because I was like, I can't have this be the first time. And then one time she was with her friends and they were at dinner.
And she was like,

Speaker 2 oh, we really wish you were here. We love you.
I mean, and then just hung out. Like, it literally was like,

Speaker 4 and then she started wanting to really say it. And she was like, it was right when I was going to do it.
It was the same night. And I was like, hey, let me get my stuff out.

Speaker 3 And he literally said that. And then I just said, I love you.

Speaker 4 And I was like, please, I was like, please just let me out. Cause I had, it was like, I had felt it.

Speaker 4 And I was about to do it. And I was like, I want to wait till New York.
So it's special, be in my house. Like, it'll be a good thing.

Speaker 4 And then the day I was doing it, she was like, she like, couldn't take it anymore. And she said it.
And then we said it.

Speaker 4 And the thing that's crazy is, you know, before you say, I love you, it's like this thing. It's like taboo.
You're scared to say.

Speaker 4 And then after you're like, oh my God, I can't like, you want to say it a thousand times in a row. You never want.
I can't even understand how I went so long without saying it to her.

Speaker 4 I say it 3,000 times a day to her. And like, I make sure every day I say, I love you so much.
Like, I love you a million times.

Speaker 4 And then I always tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky I am to have her every day. You know, and I

Speaker 3 know,

Speaker 4 no, and I always want to do that because I want her to know that every day I don't take any of anything for granted. And I still look at her and my breath gets taken away in so many different ways.

Speaker 4 And I, I said it to her last night. We were sitting, we were in like the pool or something together last night and we were just hanging out.
And I was just like,

Speaker 4 you're so beautiful. And I don't mean that just physically.
I'm saying, like, you can feel it. There's like a ring, like an aura around her that exudes just like

Speaker 4 warmth.

Speaker 3 And it, and it just like making me want to cry.

Speaker 2 And how do you react in the moment when that happens, Selena? Because Benny, we're basically the same person. I do the same thing to my wife.
Yeah. I do that to Radi all the time.

Speaker 2 Like, we're so lucky. Radio will just pull the funniest face in the world.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I was like, how do you react when Benny's telling you all these amazing things, Selena? What do you say?

Speaker 3 Because I say, no, let's be honest. I also am equally grateful and I tell him that all the time.

Speaker 3 I just,

Speaker 3 it makes me feel like it's not real. And I'll like sometimes I'll be like, this seems too good to be true.
Like, he's so sweet to me. But now I've accepted it.

Speaker 3 I think I actually love it so much that it just makes me want to give him that support and that love back. So

Speaker 3 it's safe to say I feel much safer doing that now. And I like it.

Speaker 2 I think so many people

Speaker 2 feel that when someone's that nice, and that's coming from someone who's like that myself with friends, family, and obviously with my, with my wife too, a lot of the time that's seen as a weakness.

Speaker 2 Like people kind of look down on it when someone's that open about their feelings, especially I get asked that a lot when I'm giving relationship or dating advice.

Speaker 2 People will be like, oh, no, but if I come on too strong, people get turned off. What this time was different for you? Where it's like,

Speaker 2 he's being really affectionate, he's being really open, but there's a part of you that realizes that's what you want and that's what you deserve.

Speaker 3 Because the

Speaker 3 world has become so hard

Speaker 3 to

Speaker 3 please, if you will. I'm called fake.
I'm called,

Speaker 3 it's insincere, it's fake, all of this. Like, it just doesn't feel safe.
And I don't like being myself sometimes.

Speaker 3 And that's a reason, that's a bigger problem than just talking about it in a relationship because it makes you feel like you have to question the way you're acting.

Speaker 3 And I genuinely, yeah, I have really bad days. And sometimes I don't have the energy to do what I'm doing.
But I try 99% of the time to be kind and to just be happy and grateful for what I have.

Speaker 3 And that just

Speaker 3 almost isn't cool anymore. And I hope that that conversation can kind of start eventually because it's not,

Speaker 3 it's not good. I want to always be that person that I was, but it gets harder and harder.
What I felt for Benny, it was, it was everything about him was honest.

Speaker 3 It wasn't just that he was honest with me. He was honest about where he was at in life.
And he'll tell me anything that he's feeling. And it made me feel like I could do the same.

Speaker 3 But he's the one person,

Speaker 3 you know, when you're saying those nice things to me, babe, it's like so sweet. But I believe him.
To where I'm not going to believe someone who is blowing smoke up my butt to just make me feel good.

Speaker 3 He's saying it because he means it. And I believe it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's beautiful.
That honesty that someone has in every area of their life, including their bad days, their tough days, their challenging days. Then when they're saying that,

Speaker 2 whether their day is good or bad and they feel that way, it resonates with us. I think we all, we all sense that.
And I, I, I love what you said.

Speaker 2 I think it's so important that we make it cool again to care for people and be cared for. And we make it cool again to love people and feel loved.

Speaker 2 And we make it cool again for people to be kind and to receive kindness.

Speaker 4 I feel like it's like a macho thing. Like guys,

Speaker 4 guys are always trying. It's like, stop trying to be cool.
Like, it's like, guys, try to be so cool. And like, they don't want, I think it's cool to show your emotions.

Speaker 4 I think it's cool to tell you the person. Like, I call my mom up and I tell her how beautiful she is, too.
Like, and I think it's cool to make people feel good.

Speaker 4 I think it's cool to like, you know, I just feel like people like are trying to push people down a lot sometimes, like to make themselves feel better.

Speaker 4 But you look so much cooler and so much better if you're making other people feel better.

Speaker 3 But it's not even that you would look better.

Speaker 2 No, you'd feel like a better person.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm saying, though.

Speaker 3 But it's like, I don't understand why people like choose not to do that and it's like yeah it's a it's something i'm very passionate about something that i do want to start talking about more i want to be a good example i'm not the perfect person lord knows i've made tons of mistakes and continue and will continue to but i think it's important that we talk about that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm really glad you both raised it because I think so many of us are actually accepting less than we deserve because we want what's cool not what we deserve yeah like me explaining to you right now I want to change my whole approach to anything because of like one thing that I did like that's sad I don't want to have to change who I am like

Speaker 4 that was hurtful for sure I don't ever want to do I don't do any of that like when some people

Speaker 4 I don't care what's going on.

Speaker 3 No, he's great at that, which helps me not care as much.

Speaker 4 I don't care about what anyone says. I don't care about comments.
I don't care about press. I don't care about interviews.
I don't care about what anyone says. I just

Speaker 2 love that. Yeah, I just try to.
Have you always been that way? Yeah.

Speaker 2 What made you that confident? Because I think a lot of people need to hear that.

Speaker 4 Because it's like this. Okay.

Speaker 4 Why are you reading the comments? Okay. There's two reasons.
You're either reading the comment because you want people to be like, oh my God, I love you.

Speaker 4 Or you want someone to say, you piece of shit. You're ugly.
You look like shit. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, and you don't need either one of those answers.

Speaker 4 I'd rather just free fall through life. And I don't need to know any of that stuff.
And I've never even read an interview back ever that I've ever done. I don't look at the pictures.

Speaker 4 Like, I ask my manager, I say, hey, did I say something stupid in the interview? And if he says yes, I said, what did I say that was stupid? Or I say, okay, great.

Speaker 4 If it's something like, I don't want to know. There's always going to be someone.

Speaker 4 trying to bring you down.

Speaker 4 Hating is free.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 So people are going to be hating all over the world. They're going to be hating from their bedroom.
They're going to be, and I just don't even understand it.

Speaker 4 I've never even thought in my mind to like, to like go on someone's page, be like, Jay, that shirt's ugly. Why'd you wear that? Those stripes look like shit, Jay.
No, I never even thought about that.

Speaker 4 Like, if anything, I write like, oh my God, I love this show, Jay. Like, I, I, and I just don't think.
We live in this weird world where people seek validation in so many different ways.

Speaker 4 And I don't think we need, and I know it's hard. I know it's hard.
And people want it. And you want to read the comments.
You want to look at it.

Speaker 4 But I just don't think I'm going to gain anything from it. And that time I could be looking at those comments.

Speaker 4 I could be hanging out with my friends or like going on a walk or eating something delicious or on the side.

Speaker 3 Much healthier.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think, I think you have that too.
And it's why you've been so successful in music, Benny, yourself, because I think you can create original.

Speaker 2 sound because it's not trying to be like someone else or impress someone else. Like it's, it's partly why you're so good at your craft.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because to make great music, to invent new sounds, to create new genres, to create spaces for artists to play in, it requires that confidence in, I'm not trying to sound like this.

Speaker 2 I'm not trying to be like this. I'm not trying to impress.
So it's really interesting too, because I feel like when you're growing up, your whole life, you're told to fit in.

Speaker 2 And then when you grow up, you have to stand out. But then when you stand out, then everyone.

Speaker 2 has a chance to point fingers because when you're doing something differently that's the only time you can point fingers If you kind of follow what everyone else is doing, no one will ever point fingers.

Speaker 4 Do you, do you read the comments?

Speaker 2 No, I'm the same as you, but I got really good advice early on as well. I remember someone saying to me, they said, Jay, you get, if you get 100 comments,

Speaker 2 you're going to look through all of them to find the one that's negative. That's the way the brain is going to be.

Speaker 2 And then you make it out, like that one negative comment is every entire comment section. And so if someone said, Jay, those stripes are ugly.

Speaker 2 I'm now walking around my whole life thinking the stripes are ugly.

Speaker 2 And let's get honest, that goes even deeper. If someone says something about you and you were saying like someone called you fake or something like that.

Speaker 3 Well, I was basically also going to point out that women have it much more.

Speaker 2 Of course. Please tell.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think that from my perspective, it's.

Speaker 3 it's pretty

Speaker 3 wild. And I think this isn't news to anybody that obviously women have a lot more intense feelings from their appearance to, you know, what they are wearing to everything.

Speaker 3 And I'm saying this is to me, when I get prepared for an event, 90% of the time, I'm just like, I just hope I can take the picture and sit down. It's the character that gets judged.

Speaker 3 It's the way I'm not white enough. I'm not Mexican enough.
I'm

Speaker 3 I don't know. There's just these so many different

Speaker 3 things that come up in my face that i can't help but see but i i fall victim to like looking at at things and it really it doesn't add to your life but it's just so difficult from the choices of you know the people you date it's like nobody cares about those kind of things with men they're just like yeah they they did that they said that they you know they did this and so i think we just carry a lot oh yeah my weight's a big one too everyone just has something to say and it's really making me sad and not even sad because you know what?

Speaker 3 No, I'm not a victim, everyone. I just think it's made me a tad bitter.
And I feel really guilty for saying that, but it's true. I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's a really interesting time, isn't it? Because, and I'm so happy that you both are talking about this, because I feel like on one end, we're all like body positivity.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about mental health. Let's protect each other.
Like there's this whole conversation.

Speaker 2 And then on the other side, we're like pointing fingers at people about their weight and their appearance and whatever else it is. Like you said, judgments of character, especially saying with women.

Speaker 2 And I find that so interesting because I'm like, wait a minute, don't we realize that the same people who are saying mental health matters are the same people that are pointing fingers at people that can affect people's mental health?

Speaker 3 I'm just happier that I don't have that. You know, I had to stop after a while and I still take breaks completely because I'm human.

Speaker 3 So, of course, sometimes I read things and but I do most of the time ignore most of everything. I don't have anything on my phone at the moment.
So there are ways to combat it. I'm doing it.

Speaker 3 I'm not in like,

Speaker 3 I'm not in like, I hate it. I understand the power of what social media is.
It's just tricky.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
It is very tricky. But thank you guys.
Yeah. Thank you for opening up about it because I can imagine it just gets exhausting after a while.
It's just

Speaker 2 tired of it, you know, it's just because it's all the same and you're processing all the same stuff. But what about you, Selena?

Speaker 2 What's been the way that you've been able to manage your crazy work schedule, staying committed to the relationship, finding time to make memories and make some of the things?

Speaker 3 I think, you know, I will say it's hard. It's very hard for me.
And like Benny said in the beginning, it was very difficult for me to take trips away. It just makes me feel

Speaker 3 once I understood and got to know him, and I wasn't afraid to tell him, like, hey, I just want to make sure, like, it's not that I don't trust you.

Speaker 3 Can you just text me before you, you know, go to your next thing?

Speaker 3 And I was able to do that with him. And he wasn't combative.
He wasn't like, why? I don't,

Speaker 3 what do you trust me? It was just more like, yeah, I could totally do that. And with that, day by day, I feel

Speaker 3 more and more open. And,

Speaker 3 you know, we're going to be separated again while I go shoot in New York. And

Speaker 3 yeah, I'm ready for it. I think it's, it's doable, but it's not fun.

Speaker 2 Exactly. It's not fun, but, but it found, it sounds like you found a system that works for you.
And the, the system is so simple is literally just listening to the other person.

Speaker 2 If the other person says, hey, I need this, it's not now like a debate around whether they don't trust you.

Speaker 2 Because I think a lot of us, if someone said that to you, Benny, like it would be easy for your reaction to be like, well, how can you not trust me? Like you always know where I am.

Speaker 2 Like, how, why do I have to do this every day? Like, you could have that reaction, but that reaction doesn't make the relationship better.

Speaker 2 And I think that's where often that goes where someone vulnerably says, hey, all I need is this.

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Speaker 4 If someone's coming at you with a certain energy, you're already going to buck back. Like she always comes in a way where she's like, well, I didn't like this because of this, this, and this.

Speaker 4 I'm like,

Speaker 4 she just said it so nice that I have to, I'm like, no, because I'm like, shit, shit, I have to approach this in a different way because she came at it with such class and effort.

Speaker 4 So like, I'm not going to come back at her like that. I'm going to come back at her and say, well, I agree with what you're saying.
Or, you know, I disagree.

Speaker 4 And here's why, you know, and that's how we talk through everything.

Speaker 4 And then another thing was I really wanted a person

Speaker 4 that

Speaker 4 when I wake up. I think to myself, I'm like, how can I make Selena's day better? Like, how, what can I do in my day to to make her day better? Because then that makes my day better.

Speaker 4 And I wanted to find a person like that. And I know when Selena wakes up, like, the first thing she's thinking is,

Speaker 4 how can I make his day better? And we have such a give and take.

Speaker 4 Like, I could never even see a world where I would ever yell at her. She would ever yell at me.
Like, we don't argue like that. Like, I feel like, I feel like we just have conversations.

Speaker 4 Like, there's never an argument. Sometimes she'll say, This is so funny.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy.

Speaker 4 No, no, no. She'll do this.
And it's really cool. She'll go,

Speaker 4 I'm feeling a little irritated and I think I need like 25 minutes. And I'll say, okay.
And then I give her her space. And then after like five minutes, she texts me.

Speaker 4 She's like, hey, will you come back?

Speaker 4 But it's, but it's knowing that and we have the proper boundaries set with each other. Like, I don't have to be on top of her every second.

Speaker 4 She doesn't have to be on top of me every second we're together. I just want to know she's in the house so I can say like, hey, I love you.
And then go back to what I'm doing. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 Cause look, we're both highly independent people.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 But we're both little mushes who just need to be attached.

Speaker 3 We are so cheesy. It's so fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But it's like, but I feel like, I think it helps us too that we're both, you know, on my list, a thing was I wanted someone. to be driven and inspired by something.

Speaker 4 I didn't care if they made any money or anything. I just wanted someone to be so into something that they did every day.

Speaker 4 And when she comes back from her day and she tells me what she did, I'm like, I'm not sitting there like, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 Like when you're talking to your mom, you know, when you're talking to your mom and you just say, your mom just keeps talking.

Speaker 2 You go, yeah, uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Like she comes back and like my eyes light up because I see the enthusiasm.
I see what she did. And I'm like, and it inspires me.
And I'm like, I got to do more in this thing.

Speaker 4 And it's like, we're in this place where

Speaker 4 we're inspiring each other. And we're so inspired by what the other person's doing.
And

Speaker 4 she'll help me out. She'll be like, well, what if you did it like this, this, and this? And I'm like, and then she'll say something and I'll be like, well, why don't you handle the situation?

Speaker 4 Because we have such different personalities that are also the same. But we're the thing that one of us is really good at, the other one maybe lacks a little bit and vice versa.
And it's so cool.

Speaker 4 to be able to like workshop like little conversations or how to handle a situation. And it, and i just feel so comfortable with her like that i can say anything and she won't ever say

Speaker 2 i don't know i love the maturity i mean hearing you both talk about it yes but let's be clear we are not the perfect no it's not perfect no but you're disagreeing no no no but i think the maturity of and i agree with you i think i think that's actually the difference and i'm glad you brought that up i think there's a big difference between maturity and perfection yeah perfection is saying we never have a disagreement we never have to take space from each other.

Speaker 2 Which you're not saying. You're saying, hey, I just asked for 25 feet space.
And then I was like, wait a minute, I need to.

Speaker 2 And I think there's a maturity in that because it requires maturity from both parts for you to first say, hey, I need space. For you to say, I get it.
I respect you.

Speaker 2 And then for you to have the maturity to say, actually, I want you back. And for you to be like.
not like, oh, I told you so. For you to be like, I'm here for you.
Like that, that's not perfection.

Speaker 2 To me, that's maturity. And I think that's, I really want people to get that from it, that you are going to have disagreements.
You are going to want space. Like me and Riley went through that.

Speaker 2 She, at the beginning of our relationship, if we had a disagreement and we were the same, we never, we made a rule that we would never raise our voices at each other because I came from a home where it was not great.

Speaker 2 She comes from a home where her parents don't raise their voices. But I was just like, I never wanted that in my home.
I wanted the energy of my home to be so sacred.

Speaker 2 And I wanted the energy of the home to always have a space where everyone just walked in and felt like a warm hug. And I was like, we can't argue and then expect that to happen.

Speaker 2 But it took a long time for us to realize that when she, at the start of our disagreements, she wanted space.

Speaker 2 And I used to say to her, well, if you don't want to talk about it right now, that means you don't care about me. And that wasn't true.
She just needed space to process.

Speaker 2 So it took time for us to mature for me to realize, wait a minute, you wanting space is you caring for the relationship.

Speaker 4 Some people, I get it. They want to talk about it right then.

Speaker 4 They want to, the one thing that also works for us so much is like, we're not chill people, but we're like, we're not, we're never going to get, I like, I'm not going to yell at anyone in my life.

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 yeah. And, you know, I came from a home where a lot of that was happening.
And I saw like at a young age, and I was just like, well, like, my parents weren't speaking the same language.

Speaker 4 Obviously, they were speaking the actual same language. They weren't speaking the same language to each other to communicate.

Speaker 4 And if someone comes at you like hostile right away, the first thing I'm going to do and I know she's going to do is shut down. So you're not getting anything.

Speaker 4 You know, and I always say this: guys are so quick to like, they got to win. They got to win the argument.
And it's like, what are you doing? What are you winning?

Speaker 4 Like, you're going to argue with your wife and like make her cry. And then you're like, I won that argument.
And then she hates you and resents you. Like, wait, like, don't be an idiot.

Speaker 4 And it's like, I only.

Speaker 3 I've been guilty, though, to start.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I just not a few. Sorry.

Speaker 3 I think for me, I necessarily

Speaker 3 felt like in other situations of mine, it was,

Speaker 3 I was very reactive. I think that's why I was alone for five years, because I really needed to collect myself.

Speaker 3 I think in the past, that's why I say to him all the time, 10 years ago, it's not that I wouldn't have wanted to be with you. I just wouldn't have been in the right headspace.

Speaker 3 And I don't think that you deserve what i had gone through before so i've learned a lot of lessons and i've made mistakes and and i just want this to be

Speaker 3 right so for me that was a lesson that i had to learn because i think girls can equally want to be right that for me it was really difficult in the past and he's made it unbelievably easy to the point where if i even get to the point where i'm so

Speaker 3 frustrated he's like very quick to understand I hear you. Like you're allowed to feel that.
And that helped me shift where my mind used to go, which was a little bit of anger.

Speaker 2 So it was the validation of how you felt in those reactive moments

Speaker 2 that allowed you to not be reactive. What was it that allowed you? Because I feel like, as Benny was saying earlier, you carry this baggage from all of our relationships into this one.

Speaker 3 I respect Benny. I, because he's done nothing but respect me, I again trust him.

Speaker 3 I can tell him anything, even if it's about something that's uncomfortable. And maybe you should just talk to your girlfriends.
Like he is that. And

Speaker 3 that helps calm me down to say, okay, so I'm going through these things because of maybe what I had before, whatever it is. It's not nothing is ever bad, like nothing in my life I regret.

Speaker 3 And I'm so, so happy for my my journey. And I'll continue to be.
It is a lesson that you have to be patient and learn. And I just, I could never picture myself disrespecting him.
I think.

Speaker 4 Well, it's also just a different thing because it's like, look,

Speaker 4 none of us are perfect. Like she gets spicy sometimes.

Speaker 4 And when I see something happening. It's about guiding the missile, not adding a jetpack on top of it with a, with like machine gun artillery.

Speaker 4 Like, I want to make, if i see her getting to a place where i'm like man

Speaker 4 in five minutes from now this room could explode i'm never gonna let it get to that five minutes from now i'm gonna say what are all the tools that i know that work for her that i've learned over like i'm not gonna exacerbate a situation i'm gonna try to calm it down because why do i want to be in that position where we're both just like upset about something i don't want to just calm it down and tell her what she wants to hear i'm not saying that i'm not saying like to your your partner, be like, yes, you're right.

Speaker 2 You're totally right.

Speaker 4 Like everything you, no, I think you listen and you say like, okay. We're like, sometimes I even, I'll say like, let's not let it get there.
Let's like just talk about this.

Speaker 4 And I do think physical touch is always like a very big way. Like if you're in a conversation with your partner, like it's like.

Speaker 4 Sometimes just like a hand helps or just holding their hand while you're telling them or giving them a hug while you're telling them. And if someone's upset, let them talk it out first.

Speaker 4 And then after they talk it out, be like, okay, well, here's what I think, you know, and you can work through these things together. It's such an easy way.

Speaker 3 Very constructive.

Speaker 4 It's not always easy. I can tell you that.
And sometimes we just, someone wants to be frustrated. And it's like, sometimes she'll tell me that.

Speaker 4 She'll just be like, I know it's going to be okay, but like, I just want to be frustrated in this moment. Yeah.
And I'll have to redirect because I'll be like, you know what?

Speaker 4 You have every right to be in this moment. And she'll say, this is why.
She said, this is why I want to be frustrated in this moment. She She said it the other day about something.

Speaker 4 I can't even remember. And I was just like, oh my God.
I was like, yeah. I was like, that makes so much sense.
I was like, I don't agree with the frustration. We'll get there afterwards.

Speaker 4 And I was like, but I get it. I get it.
And it's so cool. And I've never quite had a relationship like with her.
And we're the furthest thing from perfect in the world. We're perfect for each other.

Speaker 4 We're not perfect for everyone else. But I think the thing that's cool is that we've had all these experiences.
I've had all my experiences where it wasn't right.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm going to change that the next time, you know, with this person or with that person.

Speaker 4 And I think that's when you really grow is when you take all your experiences, good or bad. Like I, I'm like her.
I take every experience in my life, my past partners, my family, my everything.

Speaker 4 It's like everything happened for a reason. And I'm not going to sit here and mope about like things that could be better or different.

Speaker 4 What I'm going to do is I'm going to say, okay, I learned this and now I'm going to put it into practice. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, for me, I always, I always say to Radhi, I always say to my wife, do you want me to listen? Do you want me to fix this? Or do you just want me to go through it with you? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because a lot of people make it clear for me because they don't want you to fix it right there.

Speaker 4 And I'm not saying, I'm saying men or women. Sometimes it's not about fixing.
You know, everyone is, you know, I'm such a problem solver and you are too. So it's like your first thing.

Speaker 4 I know the first thing in your head is like, how can I fix this situation? But sometimes it's not about fixing it right there.

Speaker 4 Sometimes it's about just like, you know, especially for women who are like strong, like both our partners, they don't have a lot of time to be vulnerable in all the areas of their life.

Speaker 4 They have the world on their backs. Your wife has, there's so many people that rely on her.
There's so many people that rely on her.

Speaker 4 So sometimes they just want to complain about something, and that's okay.

Speaker 2 That's okay. Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
Who else are they going to do it to?

Speaker 4 They might as well do it. And you just listen.

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Speaker 2 i have to ask you both about this because i was so excited when the news came out and it just you know it was it was so beautiful to see it go from where it started to this but your proposal and and now you're engaged and like that just i can tell i mean it just it feels just beautiful being in the same space with you both loving on each other, which is great.

Speaker 2 Selena, what was the proposal like?

Speaker 3 We have a video of it, but I want to save that for us and just keep that private. But basically, what I will share is that I thought we had a shoot that day

Speaker 3 and I had hair and makeup and I was doing my regular day.

Speaker 3 I get in the car

Speaker 3 and I'm thinking to myself, where are we going? Because Because at this point, I feel like I know a lot of the studios that I go to.

Speaker 3 And I just started getting a little frustrated because I was like, this seems far, right?

Speaker 3 Just me and my security. And he's laughing because he's just like, oh, it's just, you know, I don't know.
It's a new space. So I was like, okay.
We get out. I just, I walk in.

Speaker 3 And all of a sudden I see no one's in the room. And I just look at my assistant and she just shuts the door.
And I was like, uh,

Speaker 3 and I like kind of walked on to, you know, the area that he had set up. And, um,

Speaker 3 you know, I think you envision all the things that you would do and say when someone asks you, but it is actually the craziest feeling. It was really special.
He,

Speaker 3 he said the sweetest things, but I also was so shocked that it, it just felt unreal for a long time. And I don't know, I've always dreamt of that moment and he couldn't have made it more perfect.
And

Speaker 3 yeah, it was one of the best days of my life for sure.

Speaker 4 I wasn't nervous until one second before. I was so not nervous.
I was doing work until one second before. I was approving masters for an album that was coming out that night.

Speaker 4 And then right when it happened, right when it was about to happen,

Speaker 4 I said, oh shit, what the f ⁇ am I going to say? And I'm so good with words usually.

Speaker 4 I can't remember anything. If we didn't have a video of it, I wouldn't have even remember what I said.
You know, I had known I was going to propose to her for so long.

Speaker 4 And, you know, I never cared about marriage. It wasn't a thing in my head.
She cared about it so much. So I said, well, now I care about it because she cares about it.

Speaker 4 And I found myself not even thinking it was going to be a big deal till I was there. And then I said, holy shit, getting married now.

Speaker 4 And in the moments leading up to it, it's not really real until it's real.

Speaker 4 I remember it was so special for me because it was special for her. And then it was, yeah, she said, the two times you said that were the best things in your life were that.

Speaker 4 And then I got you, Whataburger?

Speaker 2 Yeah. What's this? I want to know about this.

Speaker 3 Whataburger is a restaurant chain that I'm not sure where they are, but they're not in California and they're not in New York. And I love

Speaker 3 this chain so much because there's a million in Texas where I'm from. And I love the biscuits, Texas toast, and gravy.
It's so good.

Speaker 3 And we don't have that. And for Valentine's Day, he surprised me.
And this was it. This is all we really did.
I was on the phone and he comes in with

Speaker 3 Whataburger. And I literally look at him like I'm freaking out.
And he had someone, apparently they opened up in Vegas. And while we were talking, someone drove, kept it warm, and then

Speaker 4 didn't keep it warm. So I did you reheat it? And what I did was I got all the parts to it and talked to the people there and figured out how I could reheat it the best way.

Speaker 4 And I was reheating it in all different ways, putting it together. And then...

Speaker 4 Yeah, I brought it to her. Because to me, someone like Sel could have anything in the world.
The best thing you could do, and she said it right after.

Speaker 4 She said, right when I gave it to her, she said, I can't believe you listened and remembered my order and remembered all these things in such an easy way. And then you just did it.

Speaker 4 She said, that's what makes this gift so special is that you actually like listened to the things and it goes such a long way.

Speaker 3 But I did say that my two favorite moments are the proposal and

Speaker 3 he's so far and he's done wonderful things.

Speaker 2 That's brilliant.

Speaker 4 I was just thinking something so crazy.

Speaker 3 Did you know?

Speaker 4 We were born within 10 minutes from each other.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 4 On the same day. No, no, no.

Speaker 4 Place.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 she was born in Texas.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was born right near her, like 10-15 minutes away.

Speaker 2 And you never met in Texas ever. No.
No, he can't. No,

Speaker 4 I don't claim Texas. No, I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Virginia.

Speaker 3 I claim Texas.

Speaker 4 She claims Texas.

Speaker 4 Do you remember your proposal?

Speaker 2 Of course I remember my proposal. What did you do? It was very,

Speaker 2 I would say I was definitely impacted by lots of social media trends for sure.

Speaker 2 In

Speaker 2 my first chapter of my second book, which is all about love, I talk about how I would redo my proposal because

Speaker 2 not that I didn't like it. It was perfect for the time, but it so wasn't.

Speaker 2 us. Like it could have been.

Speaker 2 So I'll tell you, it's embarrassing, but I'll tell it. I'll tell it.
So we were walking down one of our our favorite walking paths on the bank of the Thames in London. Yeah.
And we're walking down.

Speaker 2 I told Radi that we were going to a dinner with my family and it was in a nice place. So she's dressed up and everything.

Speaker 2 And we come out and then this random guy out of nowhere walks out with a bouquet of flowers, a massive one. He hands it to her.
And then I had an acapella group sing Bruno Mars.

Speaker 2 And it was really sweet. They were great.
They were very talented.

Speaker 2 And then I got down on one knee and then I asked her to marry me. And thankfully, I was crying the whole time.
yeah, yeah. Thankfully, she said yes.

Speaker 2 But I tell that story to say it could have been anyone's proposal. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I had food brought in from her favorite restaurant. But by the time we got there, it was cold.
And

Speaker 2 I didn't do what you did, Benny. So I messed up.
And then when we walked around the corner, there was a white horse-drawn carriage that took us around the city.

Speaker 3 I'm dying.

Speaker 2 But then when we got... So then we were going back to her parents on the train to tell her parents what had happened.
And I told them I was proposing that night.

Speaker 2 But we we were going to hers and we got to her house and her parents opened the door and they looked at her and they were like what did he do to you because she had hives all over her face because i didn't know she was allergic to horses and she didn't know either and so that was the night we figured out that she was allergic to horses

Speaker 2 and so that story reminded me that i did know her but i didn't yeah you know we were trying

Speaker 2 to

Speaker 2 yeah i was trying i was trying really hard no it's but but it's one of the we've been together for 12 years and married for nine, so we're doing all right.

Speaker 2 But I look back on it and I look at how much of my life was just impacted by the world of love.

Speaker 2 And now knowing my wife as deeply as I do, I would do it completely differently. So I'm trying to convince her to renew our vows and our 10 years of marriage.

Speaker 2 And also because our friends have changed. Like we got married nearly 10 years ago now.
Yeah. We've moved.

Speaker 3 How much is your life?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so much has changed. And so I'm like, the people I want to celebrate my.

Speaker 4 Did you even have the podcast then?

Speaker 2 No, no, no, nothing no no no how long when did you have the podcast podcast is six years old yeah wasn't she on like your first ever episode she was my first episode yeah my wife's my first episode yeah for sure so sweet but yeah i would do it again and i think it's a great reminder of just how much we evolve and mature in relationships and how it's okay to look back and go hey like you know it's a great story yeah it's a fun story it's a fun story but uh but yeah no i'm so happy to hear about how beautiful this proposal was.

Speaker 2 You nailed it, Benny. You just, you know, we just, you're the man.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's, it's, it's beautiful beautiful to hear and and I mean last time we were together Benny you're talking about wedding planning how's that going we have not even begun um because I think for right now there's just so much going on I have to go and shoot um a series for a while and I don't know we'll just see we're not in any rush and I'm excited to see

Speaker 2 yes

Speaker 4 I don't even care about the next time no it's no but like we're we're honestly we're so we've been doing so much stuff we haven't even gotten to really just like bask in the glory.

Speaker 4 So it's like, I think we're looking forward to doing that in New York a little bit.

Speaker 2 What does that look like for both of you? Just you two spending time together?

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's very good at like organizing and planning. And I'm very visual.
So I'm like, this is what I like. And this and this.
And then he figures out how to.

Speaker 4 It'll be whatever. She's already told me the types of things she likes and wants for a wedding.

Speaker 3 It'll be fun. I love it.

Speaker 2 You both obviously got back into the studio together, recorded an amazing album. I got to listen to bits of it.

Speaker 2 It was an interesting process, but I'll tell you about that offline. But I got to listen to it.
And what I loved was I was surprised.

Speaker 2 I thought it was going to be about your relationship, but it sounded that it was about a history of your life, Celine. It felt like

Speaker 2 a history of love.

Speaker 3 But the interesting part is it actually has multiple different stories. Yeah.
Some of the songs are actually about, you know, his past relationship.

Speaker 3 So I think that it was really special because we were able to talk about those kind of emotions and feelings.

Speaker 3 And not a lot of people maybe feel that comfortable doing that with a partner, but I don't know. We told each other all kinds of things like I would if I was in a session with someone I trusted.

Speaker 3 And so, yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean, of course, it's not all about,

Speaker 3 you know, rainbows and sunshine, but it's, it's real. And I, and I think these are all feelings people have felt before.

Speaker 3 And that's what we really wanted is people to connect to the music, whether, you know, you like it or not. We're just stoked that we got to make this album that we're proud.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 4 I feel like the thing that's so cool about it is I've been fortunate enough to make a lot of songs in my day.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 people come up to me all the time and they say, this song changed my life because

Speaker 4 I was going through the same thing. And sometimes it is what I wrote about.
And sometimes they think the meaning is nothing of what I wrote about.

Speaker 4 But that's the best part about music, that it hits you. It's like music is one of the senses.
It's like food.

Speaker 4 It's like, like, there's certain things, certain smells, certain songs, they bring you back to a time immediately.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 Like you're immediately transported. And it's so cool that everybody can be listening to the same song and have a completely different relationship with it.
Um, I feel like that's so cool.

Speaker 2 What was it like going from working together that first time to this time? Like, what was different?

Speaker 3 What was different is I never allowed him in the room.

Speaker 4 I can kiss her now.

Speaker 3 And I just, I have liked to record alone.

Speaker 4 What's really different is

Speaker 4 I feel like we got to talk about stuff that she would never talk about as an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next to her.

Speaker 4 And honestly, i would take out i would just write everything she said sometimes she wake up from a dream and she's like i had this terrible dream and this is what it was and blah blah blah i write it down then it becomes a song wow it was so cool being able to

Speaker 2 i don't know it was like therapy well you were saying to me when we spoke on the phone i think it was last week you were saying that there was just it was like a safe space to be you could say whatever

Speaker 4 you can say whatever you want there's certain things you wouldn't be able to say if you were if i was just hey babe like, I just want that. She'd be like, what the f ⁇ talking about?

Speaker 4 But if, but if somehow, like, when I'm playing chords while we're saying it, it's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 3 What a great story.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And you can just talk about things and you're more open.
It's like a therapy session. It's like, it's a safe place.

Speaker 4 And like, it was cool to learn things about her that I don't know if I would have learned ever or as soon as I did.

Speaker 2 Did it bring you closer? We're making the album. Like, what was it like being together, but then making an album together and being together?

Speaker 3 Absolutely. We were able to share things with each other, and he would listen to my doubts, and he would give me great notes.
And it was never criticizing.

Speaker 3 It was always coming from a really gentle place. And I do.
I think it absolutely has brought us closer. But that's also time and spending it with him.

Speaker 4 It's yeah, also, we got to spend so much more time together. Yeah.
Like, cause like our work days got to blend a little. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a great excuse to spend time together. Yeah.
I'm always trying to find ways to work more with my wife, I know, and then just trying to come up with new excuses.

Speaker 2 I know, that's all I want to do, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I would do it too. And you had some amazing collabs as well on the album.

Speaker 2 I mean, obviously, you've launched the song with Gracie, and Gracie's amazing.

Speaker 4 She's

Speaker 4 so title.

Speaker 3 I'm so happy that she's,

Speaker 3 she was just such a doll and so talented. And you've known her, so I shouldn't say that since she was like 13, but I love her.

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Speaker 4 Did you interview her yet?

Speaker 2 No, no, I haven't yet. Yeah.
You've been a fan for a while.

Speaker 4 I've known her since she was 14.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 4 So to see where I put her on an album like five years ago. Wow.
So like to see where she's gone is so cool. And you know, I'm always one who like loves new talent, new artists, and she's great.

Speaker 4 She has such a great point of view. Her writing comes from such a good place.

Speaker 4 And it's just like, I love people where it feels like they're like, and Selena does it too, where it feels like they're just kind of talking to you.

Speaker 4 And then you're like, oh, wait, I'm listening to a song.

Speaker 2 But like, what? What?

Speaker 4 You know? Yeah. It's just, you know, making the album with her, I felt like it taught me.
I was just like.

Speaker 3 We're really good at communicating with each other and saying like and setting boundaries and saying when we like something when we don't like something Yeah, how do you do that when you're in a relationship and you're like, I actually don't like the sound of that like that's just we're both we i think it comes down to ego and we both don't really have that so if we disagree on something it's like okay i agree to disagree like that's fine but yeah of course if i say i don't know if i like that he he most of the time doesn't even question it and just is really receptive to my

Speaker 3 Yeah, we just don't have an ego. So it doesn't matter.
He could say, no, I don't like it. And I'd be like, okay.

Speaker 2 That's amazing. What are you hoping that is there a song in there that you're really excited for fans to hear or anything specific? I think I want people to

Speaker 4 hear the whole body of work. And like, I don't really think about music like that.
I make it for myself. And if, and luckily, people happen to like some of it.

Speaker 4 And we started this thing in our room and we recorded the whole album in the house and with our friends.

Speaker 2 That's so intimate. That's, have you ever done that before?

Speaker 4 Not like this.

Speaker 2 No. Yeah.
No.

Speaker 4 And it was like, it kind of blurred reality a little. It was the most fun I ever had.

Speaker 4 And I just like wanted a piece of music to be able to, I don't know, one day like show our kids and be like, look at this. Like, look at this thing mommy and daddy made.

Speaker 2 That's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 And it was like, and it's like, I can't believe it. Like, it's so cool to me.
Yeah. I don't care what happens with it.
I was just like so excited to do

Speaker 4 this with the person I love and freeze a moment in time in a way that not a lot of people have the ability to do. And like like we had,

Speaker 4 we were lucky enough to do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Selena, you mentioned earlier always wanting to be a mom.
And Benny, you just mentioned kids. Is that, are you both like big family, big kids, lots of kids?

Speaker 3 I mean, I don't know what will happen, obviously, but I

Speaker 3 love children. I mean, I have an 11-year-old sister that I absolutely adore.
And

Speaker 3 I'm still doing wizards this far along because I love children. I love making them laugh.
They're just so sweet. So absolutely, when that day comes, I'm so excited for it.

Speaker 4 It's funny.

Speaker 4 We'll be at like a gathering or a party.

Speaker 4 And not many people know this, but like Selena is like the ultimate level of shy, like the ultimate, ultimate, ultimate level of shy.

Speaker 3 Like couldn't I don't know a lot of people. Sometimes I get checked.

Speaker 4 Couldn't be more of like an introvert shy, which is crazy because she's the biggest star in the world.

Speaker 2 And it's like, I'm not.

Speaker 4 I hate when you see when she walks into a room to him. Her main, yeah, her main goal is to like disappear into the crowd.
That's like her, her goal is to just like everyone.

Speaker 4 It's my mom is very similar. Her and my mom are very similar.

Speaker 4 And they're, you know, they're never gonna, if there's a crowd of people, they're never gonna like be like how like me or probably you would do where we're like,

Speaker 4 like we're talking, they're not gonna do that. They're like wait and say like one thing.
throughout the night that winds up being like the most poignant or funny thing of the night.

Speaker 4 But like, I'm gonna have diarrhea of the mouth talking to everyone. And whenever there's kids at a place, it's the only time I see her do that.

Speaker 4 She immediately goes to kids and like has these conversations for like hours with the kids, is taking care with the kids.

Speaker 4 And I think it's also, I think it probably also has to do with like when you started doing this, you were a kid and that was your way to connect to people.

Speaker 4 And I feel like you still feel like you have that obligation to connect with like young kids because you made some, you shaped so many young people's lives whether it was barney whether it was wizards and i feel like you're still finding your way to do that and it's so crazy just to see

Speaker 4 you because she's transcended into so many different categories it's so hard to call her like you know a pop star or this an actress or that you know you don't know what to call her just so much of a multi-hyphen it yeah just your name you notice it sometimes when we see people because

Speaker 4 you'll see a little girl come up to her crying then you'll see her her older sister that's like 20. Then you'll see the mother and then the grandmother.

Speaker 4 So, like, it's like she's hitting all these boxes in people's lives and touching so many people. And, you know, she's such a hermit that she doesn't even realize it all the time.

Speaker 4 And, you know, I'm always reminding her of like what she's doing and how special it is and how she's always been so, you know,

Speaker 4 outspoken and will always say what's on her mind and is always, you know, just, I just, I just just feel like she's,

Speaker 4 there's not a lot of people who are like

Speaker 4 just absolutely authentically themselves. And like, that's what draws me towards her more than anything else.
She's always going to tell you how she's feeling. She's always going to be herself.

Speaker 4 She's never going to try to be somebody else.

Speaker 2 Well said.

Speaker 3 You know, we love that.

Speaker 2 Oh, Benny and Selena, I'm so. grateful to you both for just opening your hearts being so only with you huh only with you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I can't believe you got her to say some of this stuff. She never said that.

Speaker 4 She would never say any of this.

Speaker 2 Is there anything you didn't say that you wanted to say?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 No, I mean, I mean that in a genuinely

Speaker 3 am thinking.

Speaker 3 I'm just really grateful that people like you exist because you

Speaker 3 bring so much joy to people and also understanding, you know, so many different ways of life and navigating navigating that. And I think you're a great example.
So I just would like to say thank you.

Speaker 3 I trust you with that information. And it's always a pleasure to be with you.
So thanks for having us.

Speaker 2 No, you're both, you're both just so special. You've always been.

Speaker 2 I've always said, Selena, for years that, you know, no matter and those moments where I could tell you were shy or wanting to disappear, but always being so gracious and kind to me and my wife whenever we were together and making us feel comfortable, even if you felt uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 And Benny, you know, just the wonderful conversations we've had over the last couple of years. And I feel like we've done everything.
We've talked about so many different things.

Speaker 2 And we are both kind of like that, you know, back and forth, back and forth kind of people. But you've both done the final five before on the show.

Speaker 2 So we wanted to do something different with you both. Okay.
We wanted to play a little couples game.

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm going to hand you.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, these boards. Oh, I know.
Exactly. So you'll take one each.
They're fun, fun questions. Fun questions.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to take what you just told me and turn it around.

Speaker 2 So we're going to do where we're going to, I'm going to ask you questions. You both have to write something down and then we'll reveal.
So don't look at each other's answers.

Speaker 2 Question number one.

Speaker 2 If Benny would cook you anything in the world, Selena, what would he choose to cook for you? So both of you can write down. So Benny, if you're going to cook anything for Selena, what would it be?

Speaker 3 Ooh.

Speaker 4 Like, what do I think she wants the most? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because there's there's a few.

Speaker 4 I think I know what she says.

Speaker 2 It's a hard question. It's a hard question.
No, I think I know it. Should I write down three? No.
No. For anyone who doesn't know, Benny is an insane connoisseur of food.
Very good. I think I know.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 4 I don't think it's going to be the same.

Speaker 2 It's okay.

Speaker 3 That means you're just.

Speaker 2 That's okay.

Speaker 2 Three, two, one.

Speaker 2 Corn dip.

Speaker 3 That's actually, that's what I wrote.

Speaker 2 That's what you, oh, you did?

Speaker 3 Yes. But I loved he makes this corn dip that I could just eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Speaker 2 Well, that's a good thing that there's more than one thing. There's a wow.
That's a good thing. Yeah, that's amazing.
I love it. All right.

Speaker 2 Selena, if you would cook anything for Benny, what would you choose to cook?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 3 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 What would I do?

Speaker 4 Wait, is it not what I think you're gonna say?

Speaker 3 I think you're gonna say this. Uh,

Speaker 2 because I like I got money.

Speaker 2 you got it, Benny, already.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay,

Speaker 2 three, two, one.

Speaker 2 Okay, there we go, Clay.

Speaker 2 Very aligned.

Speaker 3 Order a pizza.

Speaker 2 You're doing good. This is great.
Okay, this one's this one's a bit more.

Speaker 2 I'm intrigued to see what comes out of this. It's not about how well you know each other.
It's an interesting one. If your partner could master any skill instantly, what would it be?

Speaker 2 Celina's very confident. Everyone who's listening and not watching, it's like every time I ask a question, her pen

Speaker 2 hits the board immediately.

Speaker 2 All right, what do we have?

Speaker 2 Three, two, one.

Speaker 2 Everything. It's annoying to be able to sleep through the night.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's what you would want to.
That's what you would want.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 I thought it was saying if you could master a skill,

Speaker 3 master a skill. Yes.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
He'll put on a video game. He will be well.
He'll play basketball. He does well.
He'll do like

Speaker 3 pro tools and then he'll do like all this stuff.

Speaker 4 I feel like this is the skill she'd want to master.

Speaker 2 To be able to sleep through the night. Yeah.
That's a real one. That's a lot of people are struggling with that.

Speaker 2 We've done a lot of episodes on sleep because that's a real challenge for a lot of people. Yeah.
It's hard. Especially as we get older.
You wake up in the middle of the night and yeah, not fun.

Speaker 2 All right, okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 What's your partner's hidden talent that no one knows about?

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 If I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this to Benny's level.

Speaker 4 What's her hidden talent?

Speaker 3 I don't even know if I spelled that right.

Speaker 2 That's okay. There's no spell check.

Speaker 4 But what's her hidden talent?

Speaker 3 I don't really have one.

Speaker 2 I don't. They're all too powerful.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know it. I know.

Speaker 4 This is crazy.

Speaker 3 This is funny.

Speaker 2 I'm just loving the honesty, guys. You guys are really going there.
It's beautiful. What do you really like, to be honest? Yeah, no, but it's so

Speaker 2 exciting to know.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Three, two, one.

Speaker 3 Start on cue.

Speaker 4 She knows every episode of Friends by Heart.

Speaker 2 You and Rodhi both.

Speaker 4 She knows all of the

Speaker 4 lines, every line.

Speaker 3 And you could name what episode did this happen, and I could tell you what.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 3 It's crazy. That's the.

Speaker 4 I never even watched the show one time before her.

Speaker 2 Yeah, same as me and Rodhi. I didn't know.
She my Roddy knows it really well. And I'm like, I love it.
I need to catch up. All right.
That was good. I like that.

Speaker 2 What's both of you is perfect date night?

Speaker 4 How real am I allowed to be?

Speaker 3 Just don't be like, I'm the worst at not wanting to do it.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 Old married couple, I love it.

Speaker 4 Her idea of a perfect date night is like,

Speaker 3 oh, I have so many, but this one's just

Speaker 2 three.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 Benny's planning the date night in his head right now.

Speaker 3 Mine's really simple.

Speaker 4 I never write. It's so weird.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's

Speaker 2 strange, isn't it? It's texting.

Speaker 2 You both got good handwriting for people who don't write, though.

Speaker 3 We're definitely not saying the same thing. Let's forget.

Speaker 3 His is going to be so nice and romantic, and mine is just

Speaker 2 you guys. Literally remind me of me and Rathi with this.
Okay, yeah, it's so funny. All right, three, two, one.
Reveal

Speaker 3 hot tub Benis Food on a couch.

Speaker 2 A romantic dinner with some small, thoughtful gesture than something i can't write

Speaker 3 i was trying to think very sweet

Speaker 2 i like both the other you're right they're both good date nights

Speaker 2 all right what is benny like on a flight because benny notoriously does not how would i know he's never seen me on a flight have you never done you mean he does not fly

Speaker 2 oh i thought I thought you told me you must have done it once. I thought you'd fly.
I've done it, but not since we've been dating. Wow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so that's a blank.

Speaker 2 Wow. I didn't know that.
That's that one. Okay.

Speaker 2 What do you think Benny will be like on a flight?

Speaker 3 I don't even know if I want to know because I would be so worried about him.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to write that?

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, that's fine. A mask.

Speaker 2 No, for sure. It's a real, real focus.

Speaker 3 I just, I think it's a big fear of his.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that's real. It's real.
Makes sense. All right.
Okay. A couple more.

Speaker 2 What's something your partner can do to make you laugh whenever you're in a mood? So even if you're in your worst mood, what can your partner do?

Speaker 2 Or what does your partner do that will always make you laugh? Ah,

Speaker 3 um,

Speaker 2 so far, Benny and Selena know each other very well. This is going really well.

Speaker 3 This is crazy.

Speaker 2 I like the commitment from both of you. Extremely competitive.

Speaker 2 So, Benny, as you're writing, how did you used to get to New York to see Selena? Would you drive?

Speaker 4 What do you mean?

Speaker 2 I'm about to do it in a free week. You drive from here to New York.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'd take the boat to Europe.

Speaker 2 Okay. So explain that journey to us.

Speaker 4 Oh my God. It's so long.
It's like first you have to drive to New York and then you get on a boat for eight days and you're on the Titanic.

Speaker 2 That is amazing. That is real confusing.

Speaker 2 All right. Three, two, one.
Go for it. Go on, read it, Selena.

Speaker 3 Okay. It says, dance or rap or say a weird fact that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

Speaker 4 Wait, that's what you're going to.

Speaker 2 That's what you do to make her laugh.

Speaker 4 Well, that's what I do. Oh, I did what I do to her to make her laugh.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no. I wanted what the other person does to you.
That's what you did, Selena, right? That's what Benny does. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Benny, not because you've rapped as well.

Speaker 2 You're a good rapper.

Speaker 4 I did what I do to make her laugh.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. What did you write there?

Speaker 4 I said, I hug her and then get on top of her and then I do that little funny laugh.

Speaker 2 That's true. Okay, wait.
What is she? What does Selena do that can make you laugh at any mood?

Speaker 4 Whenever she wants, she like.

Speaker 2 Selena's proven to be the better listener right now.

Speaker 2 Okay, wait.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, we'll skip it. We'll skip it.
We've got a good answer.

Speaker 4 What do you do that makes me laugh?

Speaker 2 In any mood. Like, whenever you're in any mood, like, what can they do? Like, yeah, like Roddy would burst down into song and dance like randomly.
There's like no relevance to anything.

Speaker 3 I think my existence makes you laugh.

Speaker 4 She'll make like a, like, she does like this like

Speaker 4 little face where she like puts her head down and like looks at me and she's like.

Speaker 4 I can't even do it, but she'll do that. That'll make me laugh.
And you'll usually get on top of me.

Speaker 3 No, but he actually,

Speaker 3 this is really funny. funny.
When I try to get somewhat like heated,

Speaker 3 it's like he can't take me seriously. So he'll smile.

Speaker 3 And then I'll go from being like,

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 4 Whenever she starts to get like angry, she's like, No. And I just, I just laughed her because it's so hard to take her seriously.

Speaker 2 I laugh. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 That's true. That's usually how our fights.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Radi hates it because whenever she gets angry, I'm like, you're so cute.
You're so cute when you're angry.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 This is like, I'm not cute. I love that.
That's good.

Speaker 2 All right. What's the one thing they can't live without apart from you?

Speaker 2 So, about your partner. So, Benny, you're writing about Selena.
Selena's writing about you. What's one thing this partner can't live apart from you?

Speaker 4 This couldn't be easier.

Speaker 4 Guaranteed.

Speaker 2 What do you mean?

Speaker 4 Guaranteed. Easiest answer I could have ever thought of.
That's the best question you could have ever asked me. I'm 100% right.

Speaker 3 Uh, some of you can

Speaker 3 well,

Speaker 3 what

Speaker 2 is it? Three, two, one. Mom, oh,

Speaker 3 space heater. That's true.

Speaker 2 Explain the space here.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I

Speaker 3 have a very weird problem.

Speaker 3 It's not even a problem. It's just a me problem.
I'm a very cold person. Got it.
My temperature usually on my space heater is 90, and I let it go all over.

Speaker 3 And if I get hot, I just open the door and then close it again.

Speaker 2 It's so backwards and so weird. Temperatures are hard to, everyone, everyone's got a different

Speaker 2 vibe. Trust me.
Our office next door, the team's always arguing over what temperature the room's at. Some people want it really cold.

Speaker 2 Some people want it really hot.

Speaker 3 We have a system.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you have a system. She always wants it hot.

Speaker 2 I love it. Okay.

Speaker 2 What's something the other person is really competitive about?

Speaker 3 What are you competitive about?

Speaker 3 I'm really not a super competitive person.

Speaker 4 No, I don't know what she's telling me.

Speaker 2 I don't think I'm

Speaker 2 not competitive.

Speaker 4 Oh, I was gonna say, I was gonna say you are about games, but then you don't care anymore. Like, you're competitive for like the first five minutes.

Speaker 3 I know, that's true. And then I'm starting to think, ah, that's okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, she's competitive for like five minutes. That's true.

Speaker 2 Okay. I love it.
I love it. All right.
So, okay, last two questions.

Speaker 2 Actually, I'm going to go for the last one because you both are big on this. I've heard from Benny.
What's the other person's most memorable gift they got you?

Speaker 3 That he's given me, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 So the most memorable one she gave me. Correct.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 Oh, there's so many, but.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the one that there's no right on the bat.

Speaker 4 I don't mind right off the bat.

Speaker 3 This is just the only one that i can think of but there's so many yeah

Speaker 3 oh sorry it was so bad you saw his no i didn't i just saw like a word i love the commitments

Speaker 2 i'm so impressed it's amazing you're the best that's like all right three two one who's gonna all right talk about it

Speaker 3 oh that was a good one okay explain go ahead this one is a picture from the set of will and grace i thought it was extremely thoughtful because that's one of my favorite shows and you can see it in the background of almost all the episodes.

Speaker 4 No, no, I got her an actual piece of art that's in Will and Grace.

Speaker 2 That's it. Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 4 That's what they have. I knew the guy,

Speaker 4 my friend's

Speaker 2 brother

Speaker 2 wrote it.

Speaker 4 And I got her for one of her birthday presents, I got her an actual painting that's hung up in Will and Grace.

Speaker 4 And when I gave it to her, the day I gave it to her, she was watching Will and Grace and it was on the TV.

Speaker 3 This is so cool.

Speaker 4 And that's that's a great gift and mine's a framed picture of our first text where we fell in love like the first one where we decided we were going to go out on that date she framed it and like made this like cute she like made like like did all these designs it's like macaroni and like glitter it was so

Speaker 2 that's a great gift guys you guys that was one of them amazing selena and benny you are

Speaker 2 truly two of the most special people. I'm so glad you found each other.

Speaker 2 And I am always rooting for you guys. I'm forever in your corner in every possible way.
I love you both deeply and know that I'm always rooting for your love. And so thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Yeah, genuinely so grateful for you.

Speaker 3 Do you want me to get you one of these boards?

Speaker 2 Are you writing more? What are you writing?

Speaker 2 Come on, I expected a ha or like a hug or some sort of emoji.

Speaker 3 I would have bought. Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.
He's obsessed with these things.

Speaker 2 Thank you. I love it.
You can take them home.

Speaker 3 Well, we love you.

Speaker 2 Thank you for having me. You guys are the best.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
I hope that allowed you to share everything you wanted to share. That felt so good.

Speaker 2 You guys are the best. I love it.
Easy.

Speaker 2 We did it. Thanks, guys.
You guys are so fun. How was that?

Speaker 2 If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

Speaker 3 My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.

Speaker 2 This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given.

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