NFL Conference Championship Sunday, Fastest 2 Minutes, Eagles Whomp The Commanders, The Chiefs are Inevitable + Who's Back of the Week

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You're going to want to high-five everyone. The neighbors, the mailman, all We have the NFC Championship game.
Max is heading to the Super Bowl. We have the AFC championship game.
The Chiefs are back in the Super Bowl. We have a rematch.
We're going to break down both games. We're also going to talk some coach hirings, some shocking news that happened since we last recorded.
We have who's back of the Week. It's one of our last Monday, Football Monday shows of the year, and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.
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The crown is yours. Today is Monday, January 27th, and it is Championship Sunday.
What? What? Who's going to lift the Lombardi trophy? Fumble! Fumble! Fumble! We start in Philadelphia where Saquon Charles Barkley was the round mound of touchdowns opening the scoring after some terrible tackling by the commanders and like my good friend Max, Saquon was obviously winded at the end of the runs, breathing heavily and having big pants. Also like Max, Saquon flew and popped twice up the giant gut and rolled into the end zone, making Washington go belly up.
The story of this game was turnovers, not the ones Max eats, fat. And much like Max in the bathtub, Washington struggled to clean up their game.
As the Eagles continued to pound the rock, they began to tip the scales and put up a huge number, Max. Ultimately, it was a great season for the commanders, but much like Max, Washington fans have to admit, even though they took one on the chins, being a good football team was worth the huge weight.
As for the Eagles, just like when Max has ice cream, they go for the Super Bowl. This is ridiculous.
I'm trying to cheer up my friend PFT. This is pussy shit.
If I were losing this game, we wouldn't be doing all this shit. I'm trying to cheer up my friend PFT.
Boom, boom. Did you hear about the Washington Commanders, the defensive players for the Commanders? When I told...
There were some bad LBs. Oh, like when I told Max I was going to write this boomer, I said, I'm going to cheer up my good friend PFT.
Let me finish it, Max. As for the Eagles, just like when Max has ice cream, they go for the Super Bowl.
You're the one who eats ice cream. Some on the birds.
This is my boomer. Eagles 55, Commanders 23.
You played really well, Teej. Also, boom, they're very excited about getting to the licks.
We go to Kansas City for our annual coronation of Patrick Mahomes as the Bills come into town with a wagon circled. After a quick three-out, the Chiefs get the ball and proceed to march 90 yards with Kareem with me, Kareem for the ear, Kareem for the laugh, Kareem for the tears.
Hunt set Aerosmith Stadium ablaze. Buffalo responded to take the lead as Edgar James Almost Cook stood and delivered a score of his own.
Xavier Tears, worthy, had another grande weekend, teaming up with Patrick Mahomes in a deep cut, and then Mahomes ran one in for six and celebrated with the worst attempt at spike since Bill Crosby. But the Bills needed to cut it to a one-score game before halftime as Josh Allen dropped back, back, back, back, back, back, back, and found mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac, Hollins cutting his lead to five before the break.
The second half started like the bachelor party that Max will be invited to as the Bills kept rolling, but the big man refused to get TD fucked. Buffalo did their best impression of Patrick Mahomes Sr.
putting together another wild drive before blowing two points. This game was drunk, folks, and somehow Kansas City's offense stalled out, giving Buffalo the ball back with the lead.
Huh? And on fourth down, in a touching tribute to William Jefferson Clinton's penis, the Bills got a bad spot. Now the Chiefs have the ball, and Patrick Mahoppenheimer said, now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.
And Buffalo ties it up, and Harrison I like Big Buckers, responds by turning into Sir Kixalot, splitting the uprights like a thong. And now the Bills took a shot downfield on fourth down, and Dalton, next of kin, Cade, has been notified that their season is once again dead.
And when they die, they die nasty. As the Chiefs look to make it three Super Bowl championships in a row, winning 32 to 29.
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Okay, Championship Sunday in the book.

Super Bowl 59 is set.

Eagles versus Chiefs.

Rematch of Super Bowl 57, but we got to talk about the games first, and then we'll do some early thoughts on the Super Bowl. Let's start with Eagles 55, Commanders 23, PFT.
I got to take some medicine. That sucked.
I got to take some medicine. We got our ass kicked.
It was an ass kicking. Theumbles really what what caused the game to be such a blowout but it it didn't really feel like i got bad vibes from that first defensive snap of the game when saquon barkley was one of my key to the games it was uh not letting saquon barkley score long touchdowns yeah and he scored a long touchdown right when he got the ball uh the defense played pretty poorly today offense with the fumbles it was an ass kicking and i will admit that it was easier to come back against kenny pickett when we're down a similar amount that was in the game that was easy he got in the game late it was easier to come back against him and that offense jalen hurts played awesome today he played really really good saquon barkley's a beast uh dickerson is a tough motherfucker cam jurgens tough motherfucker on their offensive line yeah credit to them uh i i hear a lot of people talking about big picture that's the words of comfort that people are giving to me right now is like well think about the i don't want to think about the big picture right now the big picture who cares about the big picture I'm standing too close to the painting to worry about the big picture.
Big picture, that's a conversation for another day. It's off-season.
I just watched Friday Night Lights yesterday, the movie. Big picture, yeah, you could say Billingsley has a cool-ass dad that loves to party.
Big picture, Boobie Miles has twins that he loves very much. I don't care about big – I care about what happened today.
And what happened today was an ass-kicking. We're very the Super Bowl one game away.
But then once that game started, it did not feel like we were very close to the Super Bowl. Yeah.
Jaden played awesome. I thought he played great.
We're not counting that last interception. You actually said it before.
You're like, we're not counting these. If he throws a pick on this last drive, it doesn't count.
And I agree with that. Yeah.
Yeah. It counts for Quinny Mitchell.
That was a great interception by by him but that doesn't go against jayden stats in my book uh yeah it was just it was an ass kicking uh the offense moved the ball pretty good but when we did move the ball we'd give it up on a fumble or it was the fourth downs were looking good too right off the bat that initial drive that we took down the field we only came away with three but it felt like a good drive to set the tone, hang on to the football, control the clock, just manage it, take what they give you. And then the Eagles went up, and then it felt like we were never really in a position where it felt like it could be real.
Yeah. So it sucks to lose.
This is a new feeling for me because it sucks to lose a lot of games, but it also does suck to be close to going to a super bowl and then losing that because nothing is guaranteed dan marino got to super bowl his second year and he's like i'll be back to plenty of these not necessarily the case i think he made it back to two afc championship games after that and lost both of those so when you're this close it sucks but that said i i do realize that we've got a great quarterback we've got in my opinion a great head coach for this moment and adam peters a great gm and also i will admit that max was right when i didn't say shut the fuck up hank when i didn't say fuck he was but i think we all knew that i think the the wind horse fingers yeah we knew by your reaction that it was probably true. Yeah, so my offseason, I'm trying to figure out levels of cope.
Levels of cope after this game, I'm not going to stoop to the levels of certain people. I'm not going to just say I blame the refs.
I saw a lot of that going on. A lot of the Eagles are 7-0 when Sean Hockley refs their games.
We got our ass kicked. They hung 55 points on us.
I'm not going to blame that on the refs. Conference championship record.
Conference championship record. Also tied the most rushing touchdowns.
Yeah, it was bad. It was an ass kicking.
It was an ass kicking across the board. Our defense didn't play well at all.
Lattimore didn't play well. Mike Sandler still didn't play well.
Nobody, I mean, maybe Jonathan Allen had a decent game. It was just bad.
It was a bad thing to experience. But, you know, maybe we'll get better.
My offseason is going to be spent just scouring top 10 quarterback lists. I think that's how I'll cope.
And if I'm dissatisfied with where people put Jaden Daniels, I'll get really mad at that. I feel like that's something I'm going to be focusing in on.
That's a good use of your energy. Also, great performance by Max today.
Sitting next to him on the couch. He spat on me like seven times accidentally.
Hit me in my eyeball. Yeah.
That one was wrong. That one was wrong.
It was hell. It was hell sitting between you and wrong.
Similar to Jalen Carter. Similar.
Very similar. Yeah.
I actually think Max, I wrote down as a note, you should get to poke Max in the eye. Yeah.
He should come in here right now, and you should poke him directly in the eye. I wish he had hit me in both eyes so I didn't have to see the ass kicking.
It's very rare that you can see yourself getting your ass kicked. Yeah.
It was a tough game for the commanders. I mean, the four turnovers or three turnovers or three fumbles were very bad, but I don't think that it was – obviously, they're significant, but also the Eagles offense was just running down your throat, and Jalen Hurts was awesome.
The game, I feel like, came down to that fourth and five shot play to A.J. Brown because that was, I think, a 20-12 game at the time, and he makes that throw, perfect throw, and he was doing everything.
Saquon was doing everything, and the Eagles' defense is fucking good because as much as Jaden played well, also everything was more difficult for the commanders, even that first drive. It was like 14 plays, you got three, and you did that a few times where it's like, you get three, you get three instead of seven.
And you just can't do that against the team. Like the Eagles with the way they were playing on offense.
It was way more difficult for us when we had the ball for sure. And yet the turnover sucked.
The terms are very significant, but also at the same time, they turned those turnovers into touchdowns. Right.
And that's what made it so difficult to come back from. Yeah.
And so, yeah we still have the hard rock you still have the hard rock commanders territory can you play that guy's video so for people who missed it uh the commanders commander fan meet up at the hard rock in philly last night philly iconic space in philadelphia yes everyone knows i saw a lot of philly people being like i don't even know where the fuck this is but the hard rock has fallen uh and this guy's speech was was so funny because it really was like what i would imagine uh they said once they stormed the beaches of normandy and they and they finally got like the uh you know they got control of france they entered into france this is almost exactly what it was like when they got the hard rock last night all right play it

the hard rock has fallen We wanted to have a safe space for all of us to be tonight, and that's what we did.

I love each and every one of you guys.

We came out to make... We have a safe space for all of us to be tonight, and that's what we did.
I love each and every one of you guys.

Seriously.

We came out to make.

You'll be a favorite.

You take care of all these people at the Hard Rock. Yeah, good guy.
I love it. Yeah.
He does seem like a genuinely good guy, and it's more just the funniness is more just the fact that it was the Hard Rock. Yeah.
And they're like, we came out here to accomplish getting, you know, 50 simultaneous reservations at the Hard Rock.

Shout out, open table.

We did it.

That guy sounds a lot like Obama.

It's not Obama.

He's like, good evening.

Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the Washington commanders have conducted an operation that fully compromised the Hard Rock Cafe. Oh, no.
Were they giving him shit on the way out? What were they saying? Great tailgate at the Hard Rock? The Hard Rock, the Rocky steps.

This is what you think about.

Great job at the hard rock cafe, buddy.

Oh, no.

It's so funny that it was the hard rock cafe.

They went for the weakness.

They figured out that if Philadelphia has one weakness, it's that you can probably get a shitload of reservations on a Saturday night before the NFC Championship game at the Hard Rock downtown. That's one area of weakness that you guys have.
That speech probably happens across America before every football game, every weekend, like opposing fans coming to town. This guy was just unfortunate enough that it was videotaped and put out there

as like a motivational thing then it was 55 23 yeah it's uh i like to imagine like what's the guy's name tailgate something he had it on his back anyway i like i like to imagine this guy this week like sitting around tailgate teddy i think sitting around with like war maps out being like, should we go for the Applebee's?

What about the Chili's?

No, sir.

We've done some advanced scouting and the hard rock is weak we can get into the hard rock i've seen some vulnerabilities you take over the hard rock yeah the uh we've scouted it out we've we've had we've had advanced scouts at the hard rock all week you know testing their patterns and everything i love that because for a moment, when I felt like the Commanders might win the game, basically right after kickoff, I just thought about how that Hard Rock will always forever be known as a Washington Commanders watering hole. The Hard Rock has fallen.
A place that you have to make a trip to whenever you're in Philly, like it's Mecca. But yeah, listen, no excuses.
It was an ass kicking. We got a rental defense full of a bunch of one-year guys.
It's going to be a different team next year. They were playing better than they did at the start of the year, but yeah, the defense was not good today.
It's tough. Before we talk about the Eagles and let Max bathe in the glory here, I also want to say shout-out Frankie Louvoo for letting us all know that a rule exists that I didn't know existed until today.
It's called the palpably unfair act. And apparently, if you just do this, if you intentionally get a penalty over and over, the ref can just award a touchdown to the other team.
So there was a moment in the third quarter, I believe, where the Eagles were on the goal line and they were trying to tush-push, and Frankie Louvoo kept on jumping over the line, trying to tackle Jalen Hurts and getting an offsides penalty. And the ref said, this is a warning for a palpably unfair act, and if they continue to do it, we will award the Eagles a touchdown.
I had no idea. Florio obviously was all over it.
I guess it's been a rule since 1942. It's so like if Mike Tomlin had stepped onto the field and tackled the Ravens returner on his way into the end zone, then you could award it.
Like in rugby, they have it. It's called a penalty try.
They do actually a lot. Yeah.
I think he also noted there was a game maybe last year where a team was jumping off sides over and over for a field goal try. Yeah.
So they could just give you the points, which I had no idea. That's kind of crazy the ref could just say that.
I kind of wish they had just ruled it a touchdown. Because if they had ruled it a touchdown, then I could be like, the fucking refs gave you guys six points.
Stay woke. Stay woke.
They obviously basically educated America on the palpably unfair act rule right before they use it for the chiefs in the super bowl yeah good call i mean that's they're going to use it for the chiefs and we're all going to be like wait oh yeah that is a rule it's been around since 1942 yeah you're going to look at the guy that's next to you at the super bowl party that doesn't know the palpably unfair rule that's that's a rule i wish i could hear john madden pronounce yeah that would be great uh it's an act it's not even a rule it's an act it's a palpably unfair act that That's a rule I wish I could hear John Madden pronounce. Yeah.
That would be great. It's an act.
It's not even a rule. It's an act.
It's a palpably unfair act. That was what Frankie Louvoo was doing.
I would also like to announce that this game, I will not allow it to turn me into an anti-tush-push guy. Okay.
Because the tush-push, it's a play. It's a football play.
If you want to stop it, then stop it. Don't stop it by taking out.
You can run it too. Yeah.
Like anybody can do it. I saw a lot of people that were pissed off about the tush push.
We didn't lose the game because of the tush push. We didn't lose the game because of the referees.
We lost the game because Philadelphia played very, very good on defense and they played excellently on offense. Yeah.
Hurts had an incredible game today and that throw to AJ Brown that kind of felt like it stopped it stopped whatever momentum that we had. It was a perfect throw.
It was a perfect throw. And yeah, Vic Fangio is an incredible defensive coordinator.
It was very clear from the jump that their entire game plan was, let's just take away. We're going to take away Jaden Daniels' first read and make him go through his progressions, which he's able to do, obviously.
but you could see the explosiveness wasn't there for the Washington offense because it was a lot of shorter passes that you had to go 14-play drive to get three. And Vic Fangio is just a great defensive coordinator.
And dialing up blitzes when he had to, they were able to keep – they played really sound defense in keeping Jaden Daniels in the pocket as well. It didn like he had he had a couple of those big runs i there was one that i can really think of but for the most part they did a really good job of making sure that he wasn't able to just completely gas him with his legs yeah they did a very good job and congrats max congrats hank hank how do you feel your birds are going to the super bowl you you actually i think were the closest to having the correct.
Yeah. You had it as a blowout.
I thought it was going to be a blowout. It was a blowout.
I feel good. I don't feel as good after the Chiefs win.
I kind of stuck in between a rock and a hard place. But, you know, if it wasn't for the fumbles, it could have been a closer game.
I don't think the commanders played as badly as you're kind of saying, PFT,

but the fumbles made it impossible to win.

No, our offense didn't play bad.

Their defense played awful.

I mean, the seven rushing touchdowns is pretty hard to come back from. And a lot of bad penalties that gave them the ball in scoring positions.

So it was, yeah, the defense played very poor.

I don't think the offense played bad at all.

I give the offense a B grade.

The Eagles went 230 passing, 229 rushing.

I mean, and that's as sound of a game as you can possibly have. 459 total yards.
And it did feel like whenever they had the ball, they were just going to go right down the field. Max, I have some things to say about Nick Sirianni.
Would you like to hear them? I would love to hear them. Okay, so Nick Sirianni, as a head coach, this is his fourth season.
He's the first head coach to win the NFC two out of his first four years in the last 40 years. No other coach has done that.
He's 48-20 all-time, which is the highest winning percentage of any active head coach. 7-0-6 winning percentage.
He's 5-3 in the playoffs. He's made the playoffs all four years.
People obviously be like, well, he's at a super team. I mean, the first year, they were 9-8.
They weren't a super team. He went to the Super Bowl his second year.
Last year, it felt like everything was kind of falling apart at the end of the season. Comes into this year.
Since September, they have not lost a game that Jalen Hurts started and finished and was healthy since September 29th. So that's a long-ass time.
I think that was week four against the Bucs. And he's done all of this while maybe having a mental issue and very Italian.
No mental issue. That was an unnecessary time He's a little crazy.
You tried to run him out of town last year. I don't know what you're talking about.
He's a little emotionally unstable. This is all credit to him.
And he's coaching Italian. Coaching Italian, that's a hard thing to do.
You're a fiery guy. No, yeah, that's a positive.
Coaching Italian is a good thing. But it can also be a negative sometimes vince lombardi yeah true ever heard of him coaching italian is hard to do you're thinking of other italians uh steve spagnolo yeah great head coach great head coach great coordinator i would say coaching italian is is difficult this credit to sirianni.
He's coaching very Italian. Yeah, no, he's good.
He's great. Sirianni has proven that he's one of the best coaches in the NFL.
It is crazy that I think at the beginning of this season, he was on a hot seat, but with the way last year ended like there's still some context, but he completely rebounded off of the debacle of the end of last season. This team is really fucking good.
And like I said, they haven't lost a game with Jalen Hurts healthy since September 29th, and they're going to another Super Bowl two out of his first four years as a head coach. He's an awesome, awesome head coach, and he deserves a lot of credit.
And Jalen Hurts deserves a lot of credit too because he has had games where it hasn't looked pretty. This is another big game where he came up big, and he was awesome today with his legs, and he's injured, and he was throwing the ball well.
And if you're going to say Jalen Hurts isn't a good QB, then you should have to give more credit to Nick Sirianni, right? You can't have it both ways. I'm talking about the haters.
I don't think the haters can say anything. Yeah, the haters can't say anything, but I'm just pointing out that if your argument is Jalen Hurts is not great, it's like, well, then Nick Sirianni is the best coach ever.
Or Jalen Hurts is really good and Nick Sirianni is also really good, which what i believe no i mean jalen hurts that i i knew he was gonna have a good game today he always does that are you mad about that yeah he's angry at the haters i am angry at the haters i have a list of the haters oh yeah i told you make make sure you compile a list you know what we should do at the super we should make max available for media interviews yeah like if if other if other shows want to interview max yes we'll screen them yep but we'll i won't do a good job he can go on any show yep i won't do a good job with that those okay i want you going up and down radio yeah put them on radio row yeah all right don't figure out how to do it i have six people on my bad list and then two people are on on a good list oh i. I do have two good...
Hank? Hank? Hank's looking to be... Yeah, why are you doing the fingers? He wants to be on the good list.
Yeah, Hank can be on the good list. So that's three people.
I'll add Hank to the good list. Okay.
I also don't have... There's no references here.
It was just I was throughout the week going through Twitter and watching different things, and then just putting people name on the list. I don't remember what any of them said.
Okay. Okay.
So don't ask me that. Yeah, that's fair.
Bad list. Mike Greenberg.
What'd he say? Don't know. Chris Sims.
Chris Sims said a lot of shit. Okay.
Chase Daniel. Okay.
Co-host of Diana Rossini, I think. Right? Yes.
That's the name of the podcast.

It's called Diana Rossini.

No, it's actually just called co-host of Diana Rossini.

Alex Smith.

Kurt Benkert.

Okay.

And Nick Wright.

Okay.

All bad.

All bad.

Good.

Dan Orlovsky.

Yep.

He told everyone there are pieces of shit for saying that Jalen Hurts stinks.

And he said that Jalen Hurts is good.

He didn't say shit, though.

He said probably pieces of turd.

I don't think.

Yeah.

He basically just said that Jalen Hurts was good.

Yeah.

And Craig Carton.

Craig Carton also was backing up the Eagles.

So those are my two good guy lists and my six bad guy lists.

I don't know any of the context for any of these people, but that's it.

I get it.

I get it.

They probably said something like, I don't know if Jalen Hurts has what it takes to win

this football game.

Yeah, no.

Oh, there's a lot of Jalen Hurts is not a Super Bowl winning quarterback, which really pissed

me off.

Well, he's not.

Not yet.

Well, he got let out today.

He said, Sirianni finally let me out.

Yeah, let him off the leash.

Well, yeah.

I mean, he was last week.

Last week was snow game.

It's hard for any quarterback to be good in a snow game.

And he was hurt.

And now he's got a little confidence. We're going back to the Super Bowl.
He had his best game of his career against Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. He's got to do it again.
Okay, so talk to us about the game. I mean, you almost passed out watching this game.
Yeah, that was bad. That was like a big wake-up moment in that game.
It was a positive pass-out. Some people are saying that you what exactly you don't was the pass out play uh it was the fumble on the kickoff he got up too fast and uh and got and screamed and then spit on pft and then held his head because he was like oh my god i almost passed out some people are saying you don't go all the way because like they're the eagles players are out there blood and guts puking just trying their hardest and you're worried about passing out I was very close to passing you should have just passed out I was very close to passing out uh mom I know you're listening to this I'm gonna work on it I'm sorry because she's definitely gonna be very upset that that that I almost passed out she's gonna wish you out.
Yeah. Were any of the things I said in the boomers true? I, no.
Okay. Incorrect.
Max, you've got a dog to live for now. You can't pass out.
Great dog. Nola.
Breaking moves. Breaking moves.
Breaking moves. Nola.
Nola was the name for paws. Nola was the given name.
I was really hoping that dog was going to be a jinx, that he got a dog named Nola two days before the game to send you to Nola. Yeah, no, that was bizarre.
So you got a dog? I did get a dog. So for the haters that say, hey, dogs.
Is she okay? I hate you. Shout out Paws.
I should say right now, we had the ad anyway, but Stell Blue Coffee, we're actually going to Paws on Wednesday to help out. And we also donate a bunch of money every quarter to Paws.
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All right, so you got a dog. Nola from Paws.
Shout out Paws. Shout out Paws.
Paws made it very easy. It was a very good interaction.
They brought me into the dog and made it seamless. Got me in and out the door really quickly.
Also, I just want to say Paws does do screening. They did screen Max before.
I know that people are going to be like, what kind of operation is Paws if they're letting Max walk out with the dog? They called me and they basically talked to me for 30 minutes about the history of Max. Yeah.
Well, I mean, you look at the Philadelphia Eagles jersey, you think Michael Vick. Not sure if this guy needs a dog right now.
But yeah. So they vetted him.
And I think I had to sign something on your back. This is all a lie.
It's a very cute dog. It's a cute dog.
Max is going to be a great dog owner. I'm excited.
Going into it, going into the game, PFT had a better hype video, and Max was like, I haven't slept. I've had a bad weekend because of this dog.
I was worried. That's not true.
I had a good weekend because of the dog, but I had a... But you said, like, I haven't slept.
My sleep schedule's fucked, and this dog is ruined. The reason I haven't slept is the dart stream.
And the dog. Nola.
Were you nervous about getting a dog named nola the dog yeah before i was very nervous about that what is the dog so the dog's name is not nola anymore the dog's name is billy oh like football yeah kind of like football um nope she's she's a good dog we went through we've been looking at polish for me and my girlfriend have been looking at polish for a really long time. We finally a good dog.
We went through. We've been looking at Paul's.
Me and my girlfriend have been looking at Paul's for a really long time. And we finally found a dog that we were not.
Not finally, but we found a dog that we were really excited about. And we jumped on it.
And it happened to be that her name was Nola. You jumped on the dog? We jumped on the opportunity to get the dog.
It would have been so good, though, if you had lost this game and your dog's name.

I would have just called that dog Nola for forever.

But you didn't.

If you win the Super Bowl, I think it's got to go back to Nola.

We can't keep going back.

I thought about it, but we can't keep going back and forth.

All right, so back to the game.

Congrats on the dog.

Very cute dog.

Everyone go get a dog from Paws Chicago.

Any Chicago dog trainers out there, hit me up.

I got to train this dog.

Congratulations, Max. The game, Max? dog from pause chicago any chicago dog trainers out there hit me up i gotta train this dog okay congratulations max uh the game max yeah no the game was great there's not really much more i can say jalen hurts was fantastic saquon barkley is the best player in the nfl and i think that he's going to change the running back market because it shows that we're going we're going back into a play of game where running the football matters and you can win running because there was that stat that was going on for forever.
Actually, we still don't know that stat. Yeah, because you didn't win the Super Bowl yet.
I know, but Saquon Barkley is a piece that this team is not where they are right now without Saquon Barkley. Okay, Max, I fully fully acknowledge that Saquon Barkley is probably the best running back in the NFL him and Derek Henry I would say Saquon's probably a little bit better I'm pissed off at the Giants the Giants for letting you guys have him that sucks for me but when you say he's going to change the way that we look at running backs and signing running backs the free agents this offseason Aaron Jones pretty good player.
Najee Harris, Jeff Wilson, A.J. Dillon, Nick Chubb off an injury.
I don't know if any of those guys are worth it. I'm not just saying immediately, but going forward, Saquon Barkley is getting paid less than Gabe Davis.
Yeah, no. Saquon Barkley, but he doesn't grow on trees.
But I'm saying B.J. John's next contract.
Yeah, yeah. He's going to get more than the top running back was getting this past offseason and it was all it's also like the eagles played it perfectly because i i don't i still don't think that you should pay a running back a ton of money if you're not a team ready to compete for a super bowl the eagles were a loaded roster and adding saquon barkley just makes them that much better.
Whereas if you added Saquon Barkley to the Giants, the Giants aren't going to the playoffs. True.
So it's more like teams that are on the precipice. That's a perfect signing.
But he's a beast. The Eagles are just really fucking good.
And we said it on Friday. They're better at better at pretty much every position than the commanders.
And that showed today. Like, their defensive line got a great push.
Their offensive line, even though there's injuries, was very good. Kept Jalen Hurts relatively clean.
A.J. Brown and Devontae Smith are still difference makers.
Dallas Goddard, one of the most underrated tight ends. He needs more credit.
Dallas Goddard's a beast. He was an absolute monster.
And he actually, the biggest, one of the biggest plays in the first half that felt like a pretty consequential play was when they didn't have Dallas Goddard on the field and Calcaterra wasn't able to pick up the blitz and they got a huge, the commanders got a huge sack. And that was like the moment where it was like oh shit are the commanders gonna be back in this game but yeah the eagles are just an all-around really really good team speaking of huge sacks that was a great fake punt that dan quinkle oh yeah it was awesome and when i said that we have a better punter tress way can also throw the ball yeah that was but that was also one of those you're down what 14 to 3 at the time i think yeah it.
It's like you got to try something. You got to put your nuts on the table.
And it was a great play, but it never felt sustainable what the commanders were doing. Yeah.
It just didn't. We got behind and we kind of stayed behind.
Great touchdown catch and run by Terry McLaurin. I'm so glad he's a commander.
I'm so glad I get to root for guys like Terry and guys like Jaden don't want to i don't want to think big picture a lot of people are are going to be sending me big picture wishes i appreciate the wishes but i do not i don't want to think about the big picture right now just let me be be very sad and upset in the small little microscope i'm i'm looking at the season with an electron microscope right yeah play by play for today i think that's the correct way to do big picture is an off-season thing. Yeah.
That's an off-season thought exercise that you'll be able to do for the next seven months. Right now, you got your ass kicked in the NFC Championship game.
That sucked. I promise you I will be moved on to big picture by next week.
Maybe not. No, I'm going to make myself after the Super Bowl.
Yeah, when we're in New Orleans and Max is living his best life and wearing ridiculous pants.

I'm going to gumbo my way out of it.

I'm going to gumbo my way out of thinking small picture.

I believe in you.

I believe in you.

Max, yeah, that had to have been one of the most enjoyable games

out for you.

Yeah, no, it was great.

It still was stressful.

You know, I was saying stupid shit at the end of the game. Yeah uh the eagles were up i believe they were up 25 with six minutes left max said this is still going to end up being ending a one score game yeah and we had to explain to him we're like there's six minutes left the best case like if they score 17 points they're down eight and they that would mean they had three possessions in the minutes.
Well, we work at a company where it's like you realize that you have to go out of your way not to say anything that could be ever interpreted as a jinx. So if you're up, you don't say things like, great win before the game's over.
You don't count your chickens. And that was White Sox Dave, by the way.
Yeah. Nice job, White Sox Dave.
No, he said, I'll never apologize for a win. I'll never apologize for a so mac but max has learned to not touch these third rails because he's gotten shocked so many times that now he's just he's not even going down to the subway station i still graze those rails yeah i mean he said we we want the commies before he even played the rams that's true but in his defense he was drunk yeah he was it was a saturday uh max also shout out Roan.
He surprised everyone.

He texted me yesterday.

He was like, I'm going to be there.

Don't tell anyone.

He walked in.

You could tell that that was tough for you.

It was tough.

And hey, I got to put my hand up.

He's a weapon.

I got to put my hand up too and say, I didn't show enough fight either.

I don't know.

I got to learn how to win.

Yeah.

It's a process.

It was an ass kicking though, Max.

You got to feel good and you're going back to the Super Bowl.

You got to get redemption against the Kansas City Chiefs.

And not to put pressure on you, Max, but have you had the moment to realize

what's at stake here in terms of you and this podcast

and if we have to have another losing max second place situation like that's gonna be bad i mean that that's you would love that no i'm i don't want that i have a future on the eagles but as far as far as for this podcast you would it would be good for numbers you would love to see me lose just in terms of numbers i think people want to see sad Max in the pants. I'm not saying me.
They've seen it enough. It's Chiefs.
I know. I'm rooting for the Eagles.
If it was the Bills, it would be a whole different. If it was the Bills, I would have cashed out.
I would have been Josh Allen in your face the whole time. Let's mix it up.
Let's get some Happy Max celebratory. Oh, you don't have anything financially at stake here, do you? Or steak oh your legacy i'm thinking about the fans and what they want big legacy state they want to see max win i don't like that memes has weaponized the max picture and even when max wins he just puts somebody else's face on max yeah and then it's also a reminder of that time that max lost i don't think that's fair to max yeah he put your face that was you bro I don't think that's fair to Max.
Yeah, he put your face with the...

That was you, bro. I don't think that's fair to Max.

It was you. It was me.
It was my face.

You look good with the beard. It's just a great sad

template. I wish I could grow one.
Yeah.

Oh, you have to get waxed now, too.

Oh, shit.

I forgot about the wax, too.

Shit. I'll get waxed

in Nola. How about that?

Yeah.

Yeah, that'll be tough. Max, have you texted Big Dom yet? No.
I texted him on your behalf. No, already? Yeah.
No, I didn't say anything about the... I just said, congrats to you in Nola with the eagle emoji and the Italian flag.
And he just wrote back, thanks, Paisan. See you there, Italian flag.
He thinks I'm Italian, which is fine. I'm not.
That's great. Italian father.
Italian father. Yeah, Italian father.
Max, this is the fifth time in Super Bowl history we're going to have a rematch of coaches in the big game. The losing coach has lost all four of the rematches.
You were telling me stats last week, though. I'm just telling you.
Chuck Noll over Tom Landry, Jimmy Johnson over Marv Levy, Coughlin over Bill Belichick, and Andy Reid over Shanahan. And this will be Andy Reid versus Nick Sirianni too.
So each time the winning coach the first time won the second time. Eagles win rematches, though.
Yeah, there you go. And we're go killers.
Chiefs also win rematches. Shit.
Do they? Well, they won the stat before. They win the first one too.
And they win the rematch. They win Yeah.
They somehow win everything. Yeah.
Chiefs like to win. Yeah.
All right. So anything else, Max? Like New Orleans, it's going to be your week.
I know. I'm so excited.
It's going to be like the best week of my life. Cool.
That's awesome. That's fucking cool.
That is so fucking sweet. But what about the week before? Like, what about preceding that? We're probably going to get to interview an Eagle, hopefully.
Yep, that'll be cool. Maybe even Saquon.
Maybe Big Dom. Although I don't really want to.
No, Big Dom. I don't want to interview Big Dom Super Bowl week.
I don't even want to ask because he's going to be like, it's about the players. The people want Big Dom.
We're going to interview Big Dom Grit Week. Maybe.
We're going interview him great let's not well let's not big dumb you know big dumb does what big dumb wants we love big dumb we're not gonna we're not gonna we're not gonna press i don't know i wouldn't feel comfortable asking him but we're gonna try to get an eagle what if his daughter is getting married like during the week and we can go to him we can ask him whatever favor we want he has to say yes That's true. I don't know.

I'm just excited for the week. And we can go to him.
We can ask him whatever favor we want. He has to say yes.
That's true. I don't know.

I'm just excited for the week.

I want the Eagles to win.

Will the pants be making a...

Can we get the pants back on?

No, I'm wearing the same thing that I've worn the past two games.

We saw what PFT did when he changed up his outfit.

What do you mean when I changed up my outfit?

I wore two different outfits for each of our playoff games.

I didn't have an outfit to repeat.

You got bullied online for the jumpsuit. Oh, I got bullied online.
You got scared to wear it again. You think I'm afraid to wear something that makes me look ridiculous? You showed up in jeans today.
Yeah. They're pants.
They're Muggsies. They're super comfortable pants.
They feel like sweatpants. They're the most comfortable pants in the world, you idiot.
But you're not a jeans guy for a big game. You're a wear crazy jumpsuit guy.
That's last week. I wear jeans for games all the time.
My most famous pictures at games are of me wearing jeans. Like big jeans.
Clutch jeans. Clutch jeans.
Oh, that's fair. I should have worn the JNCOs.
I should have worn the JNCOs today. We have Muggsy JNCOs.

I should have worn them.

That's a fair point.

But to say that the jumpsuit, I didn't have an outfit that I wore,

a good luck outfit.

And you shaved your beard.

But Max had a good luck outfit.

I didn't shave.

Look where he is.

I got a haircut.

Everyone knows playoff time, playoff beard. Max wants us to mention the fact that he's been growing out his beard.
No, that's not true. I don't even want you to realize it.
I just want you to know that I'm dialed on winning a Super Bowl. I need to win a Super Bowl.
Also, he's out of the boot and he wore the boot. Yeah.
Big Ben. Yeah.
I'm bringing the boot to New Orleans. You're bringing the boot to the boot? I'm bringing the boot to the boot.
I have to wear the boot inside the Caesars Superdome. Okay.
Did Nick say? What did he say? If the Eagles win, that's a promise. If the Eagles win, I will do a shooey out of the boot.
I love that. Did Nick say that? That'll be so gross.
I love it. Did Nick say that every Tuesday is Mardi Gras for Max? Yeah.
He did. Yeah.
I thought I heard that. Another thing Nick wrote down.
Yeah. I didn't say it.
Oh, because I'm fat? I didn't say it. No, no.
I didn't know you spoke French. Hey, so Max, can we get the pants during the week? I don't know exactly where those pants are right now.
Oh, no. I love that.
I think they're here. They might be.
I gave them the hang for the Halloween costume, and then I think he gave them back to me. We got to find them.
We got to find them. People want to see the pants.
We got to find the pants. To me, losing pants is one of the funniest things you can do.
Yeah. I lost those particular pants.
I lose all of my clothing. My clothing has like a one-year lifespan until it gets lost.
Max, I have a question for you. Honest question.
So after the game, Nick Sirianni called Jalen Hurts a winner. He's a winner.
Do you think that Jalen Hurts is a winner? Good question. His head's just about to implode.
Look at that. He can't get out of this.

Max is getting a fever.

He can't get out of this.

He might just pass out.

He can't get out of this.

This question is going to make you tap.

Is he a winner?

Yes.

He is a winner.

Yes.

Has he won a Super Bowl?

He's in the Super Bowl.

Okay.

Hank, I'm calling in the lefty. Every winner that's ever considered a winner has also lost Super Bowls.
Joe Montana? Most of the winners that you could ever consider a winner has lost a Super Bowl. Okay.
Fact of the question. I'm going through the list of winners.
A lot of losses in the Super Bowl. My whole thing, I just wanted Nick Sirianni to also be listed as a winner

when he's not.

Terry Bradshaw?

Did Terry Bradshaw lose the Super Bowl?

I don't think he did.

But they lost games.

They lost big games.

Okay.

We're not talking about big games.

We're talking about winning the Super Bowl.

Because that's the standard that we have on this podcast.

Is Terry Bradshaw the GOAT?

Is Eli Manning the GOAT? We're not talking about Jalen Hurst Hurst the goat. We're just asking if he's a winner or not.
Yeah, he's a winner. He hasn't won the big one yet.
Okay. So you can be a winner without where he went.
But Max said that Dan Campbell is not a winner. He won a national championship.
Dan Marino. He was on the team.
He won. He played in the game..
Dan Marino, two winner? He was on the team.

He won.

He played in the game.

Is Dan Marino a winner?

Nah.

Okay.

He only made it once.

Dan Marino is not a winner.

That was my phone, not a fart.

So if you make it twice, then you're a winner.

Fart gate.

I mean, make it twice at the age that he's at,

I would classify him as a winner and winning a national championship.

Is Josh Allen a winner?

Josh Allen is a winner.

Okay.

Lamar Jackson?

He has...

Josh Allen has overperformed in the playoffs.

Lamar Jackson has underperformed.

Okay.

But if Lamar wins a second MVP.

Phillip Rivers?

Third.

Third MVP.

Phillip Rivers, no.

Not a winner?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

Joel Embiid?

Absolutely not.

How can you say that with the Philly shirt on?

He hasn't been to the past second round.

You see Paul George got stuck in the Broad Street. He was trying to drive down Broad Street, And it was just like a parade.
In the middle of the game? Like after the game? I saw the funniest video afterwards. There was this one kid from Philadelphia.
When I say kid, I mean, I think he was three years old. Yeah, he looked very young.
That went up to the light pole and started trying to climb the light pole. And then a cop came up to him, fake arrested him, like put his hand behind his back.
The kid wiggled out of the fake arrest and ran right back over the light pole and started getting ready to climb it again. I love it.
Yeah. The Philly fan too that was walking around with the roasting a pig within a shopping cart.
That was genius. Real men are genius.
Listen, we got to learn how to win like that. Yeah.
Philly was on fire today. It looked like a very fun day in Philadelphia.
Well, I'm not thinking big picture. I do have to acknowledge that this was an awesome season.
It was beyond anyone's wildest expectations for the team. Hank laughed when we hired Dan Quinn.
The tweet was, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, which I bookmarked. We got into a big bookmark off.
I want to bring that back up. Left hand up.
I'll own that. Sorry about your future, by the way, on the commander.
Thank you. Yeah.
Yes. It's heartbreaking stuff.
But it was a great season. I'm not thinking big picture yet, but I am saying I'm willing to acknowledge the fact that being in this game in the NFC championship game is a feeling that I haven't felt in a very long time.
And it was awesome to care this deeply about football this late into the season. And cherry on top, we actually, I think, posed this question last week.
Does Dan Snyder watch? The story came out, which was pretty much just porn for you. Oh, yeah.
That Dan Snyder not only is aware of the commanders, he's living in England, and he's fucking pissed off and so angry about all of it.

Yeah, it was so good.

It came out like first thing in the morning on Saturday. I laid in bed reading the story, just laughing out loud.
He's really fucking pissed. Good.
I'm glad you're pissed. I hope you watch every second.
I hope that your life is just tormented from this point forward. I was very happy reading that.
But the details in that story were crazy. Yeah.
Like after I'd probably celebrated six times the sale of the team,

when it came time to send the financial information all he had to do was send josh harris his uh routing bank account his bank account number and at the very last second dan snyder was like no i don't think i'm going to send him my bank account number so that he can't pay me six billion dollars and and the best part was goodell got dan snyder on the way out because dan snyder basically was like i'm only selling this i don't want to sell this team i'll sell i'm going to make the price so ridiculous that like no one's going to be able to pay for it he wanted over six billion dollars josh harris was barely able to get the six billion dollars and then as he's like about to wire the six billion dollars the nfl fined him 65 million dollars that took the actual like full transaction just below six billion yeah that's you know what we we said that at the time too we said that feels like an oddly specific number it was like 50.5 million dollar fine on the way out good i'm glad i'm glad that he's not happy. So funny.
I take pity on whatever EPL team he's trying to purchase. You ran him out of the country.
Yeah. He literally doesn't live in the country anymore.
Yeah. He can't sell his house.
He had to give that away. Yeah.
Which, I mean, I guess that was a nice move by him because he did give it to the Cancer Society. Well, he also gave.
He's a tax write-off, too. But he gave it to them, and it still hasn't sold.
Yeah. Yeah yeah and now they have to pay for the upkeep of that house and they're like can we just sell this fucking thing already yeah and he uh yeah he's he's basically been run away he lives in england and uh they even threw in like oh no well uh he actually loves it there and he like goes to a pub and like yeah he's he's having a great time like a normal guy best life i kind of I want to do...
And he doesn't drink, I don't think. I want to go over there.
Imagine living in London and not drinking. He's got to drink.
If he's going to a Westminster pub every day. There was that anecdote, too, where he was like...
At one point, they were trying to say that he was basically going to get out of all the shit he did bad by being like, I used to drink and I did that all when I drinking and now i don't drink anymore yeah like i went i checked myself into rehab excuse well his plan was i'm going to tell them that i stopped drinking yeah which is that's what you say when you are really admitting that you have a problem yeah i'm going to make them think i don't drink anymore but yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna become a born again yeah that'll be fine that's i was very happy to read that that was great It was fun to care about football this much until late January,

but it still sucks.

Yeah.

It still hurts.

And congrats to Max.

Stressful week, not a stressful game,

and you're on to New Orleans.

It's still pretty stressful.

And so Max is going to go to the game.

He will have a setup so that he can zoom in, win or lose.

We're not going to stay in New Orleans for those extra days, but Max will go to the games. We'll have on-field reporting, and he will be on the show, win or lose.
Actually, when does he have to come on? Maybe he could zoom in from his phone on Bourbon Street. No, you have to get your victory lap if you win the Super Bowl.
You have to really stick it to us. Shut up.
There was nothing stressful about that game for you. No, there really wasn't.
You scored a 60-yard touchdown on your first carry from scrimmage. Yeah, Saquon rocks.
The only stressful time was in the second quarter when it was, I think, 14-12. But then you guys scored, and then you got a fumble on the kickoff

right after and scored again.

Like 14-12 was the only time where it was like, oh, this could be a game.

The fake punt was stressful.

You were up 14-3.

But that felt like a game, like a momentum changing.

But the minute you touched the ball on offense, you never were trailing.

Yeah, no, that's true.

That's exactly right. We were trailing for like 16 seconds, I think.
Yeah, right. So in the 14-12, that was when it was close.
You scored. And then the next time the commanders touched the ball, it was 27-12.
Yeah, but we were up two scores against them in that other game, too. So that's all I can.
You can't pick it. Well, I kept saying that, and you kept telling me that.
Yeah, because I was deluding myself into thinking we had a chance to win. Perfectly normal behavior.
It did matter. I know, but it's still stressful.
When we went three and out to start the second half, I felt kind of stressed then. I would say maybe at the start of the game when we kept converting those fourth downs on that very first drive, that was probably a little bit stressful.
Yeah, the first drive was stressful. But Max, here's my roadmap that me and a lot of other people had this week to convince ourselves this was going to be a good football game.
The Eagles are so good. They're better at every position.
Yeahayden daniels might be actual magic that's what that's what we're telling ourselves and force we're forcing ourselves to believe that jayden daniels was literally god and that he could do whatever he want he wanted and nothing else in the game would matter that's that's the level that we had to get to to convince ourselves that this was going to be a commander's win fred smoot we told we're going to lose by 50. Do you think Fred Smoot watched that game and was like, what the fuck? He just like, was he watching that game being like, am I sleeping right now? Like, this can't be happening.
I was getting, I loved what Fred Smoot was saying because I liked hearing it. I liked listening to it.
But also, as he was saying it, I was just thinking the whole time, like, this is not good. This is not good that he's gassing us up so much.
But, yeah, congrats, Max. Congrats, Hank.
Yeah. I'm excited for next week.
I got a future, too, on the Eagles. Oh, also buy some merch.
We got some new merch in the Philly store. Hank is wearing some of it.
Does that make you nervous that it'ss eagles again and i can oh yeah i can win a shitload of money oh yeah okay a lot of this sounds familiar yeah a lot of it sounds very familiar hit them low hit them high there we go unnecessary roughness penalties yeah those are sick uh okay let's uh take a break and then we will talk afc championship game we'll get back to the games a second. They're brought to you by Doritos.
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And now back to the games.

Okay.

Chiefs 32 bills,

29.

How do we want to do this?

PFT.

Do we want to just do the ref thing at first,

or we want to talk about the game and then we can give ourselves a minute to talk about the ref.

I was thinking that we would do 40 minutes on the spot.

Yeah.

40 minutes on the fourth down spot. That game was a great game.
Incredible game. Like, as close as it could be.
It felt like to start the game, the Bills were going to get boat raced, but they hung tough. And let's just say it because everyone's complaining about it.
The spot, I did not agree with the spot. I still maintain that the Chiefs, again, we've said it a million times, say it a million times more, they have the championship DNA that big-time plays, big-time moments, they will come through.
And if they have a 50-50 thing go their way, they will capitalize on it. That did suck, though, because if the Bills got that first down, it felt like they were going to go down and score and be up nine.
And it was like, you won't even give Patrick Mahomes a chance to win this game. And I thought the spot sucked.
But here's what really sucked. And for anyone who didn't watch the game, I assume everyone who's listening did.
It was fourth and one on the City uh 41 in the fourth quarter the bills are up 22 21 they do uh Josh Allen sneak and the far line judge I believe ruled it pretty much close to a first down the the the closer line judge had a completely different interpretation they went to review they didn't give him the first down I thought it it was a first down. I thought it was bullshit.
But you know what was really bullshit? It was the fact that Sean McDermott and Joe Brady decided to keep running the same play that the Chiefs were clearly ready for all game, and that was the tush push. They didn't even do correctly.
They don't even push. They just rammed Josh Allen in the line.
That was coaching malpractice in my eyes like stop running a play that's not working and they kept running it and it burned them on a on a on a fourth and one that again I thought they got it but it was so close that it leaves it up to the review and that sucked and and whichever ref got that spot and where they put it down that's what they're going to stick with right the review didn't show the ball didn't show anything so it's hard to overturn that you can guess where his body was going to be i thought it was a first down two in the moment um but yeah the the bills on just short yardage situations all day not good not good good and that that's why i despite the fact that it i just got by the tush push, I can say that the people that are calling for it to be removed are losers because the Bills tried to do the same thing. They can't do it.
Everyone can try to do it. The best they looked on that short yardage situation was when Josh had to jump over the pile and extend the ball in a bad play.
That probably should have been a fumble. And I think he might have dropped the ball and picked it back up.
Yeah. Big hands.
But it's heartbreaking for Josh Allen. I know there will be a lot of people who are like, he can't win the big one.
If you watch that game and you're like, Josh Allen can't win the big one. I think that really does come down to Sean McDermott had a really bad game again against the Chiefs, which happens every single year.
Their defense got torched. I think that really does come down to Sean McDermott had a really bad game again

against the Chiefs, which happens every single year.

Their defense got torched.

I know Benford went out early with a concussion,

and their secondary was thinned, has a little depth,

wrapped in play in the game.

But Mahomes in that offense, they scored more than 30 points

the first time all year.

They had 8.3 yards per play on passing downs.

This is the first time all year. Yeah.
They had 8.3 yards per play on passing downs. They it felt like guys were just wide open.
And what really would drive me nuts if I was a Bills fans outside of the ref stuff, which we've acknowledged, is on that last drive where you have three timeouts. you have two minutes or more than two minutes to try to go down the field and score a touchdown and win the game, you did not get a single touch for James Cook, who was by far your best player on offense.
Like James Cook had 139 yards receiving and rushing, two touchdowns. He was averaging 8.6 yards per touch, and he did not touch the ball on those six plays that you ran one you know was a perfectly timed Steve Spagnuolo blitz where that's where it's the Chiefs like Spags is such a good coach and Andy Reid is such a good coach they have that blitz that gave Josh no time he throws up a prayer Dalton Kincaid who probably could have caught that and I know people are saying Khalil Shakakir was open on the backside if you watch that play and you're like how josh allen had a guy in his face in less than a half a second yeah he couldn't get the ball he couldn't get the ball to shakir on yeah it was too much pressure and spags had i think i counted three of those blitzes that were perfectly timed yeah i don't know how he does it it's but it's it's always perfect it always causes the disruption.
It always changes the game. And it sucks for Buffalo because, yeah, you look like you're driving down the field with a one-point lead.
You're about to get that fourth down, and everything's going to be different this time. It sucks.
And it's not different. And you just have to deal with the fact that Mahomes is going to the Super Bowl again.
Josh Allen and the Bills have to think about this for another year and hope that next time it's going to be different every year i tell myself after this matchup don't ever forget what happened this is just always going to keep repeating and then one calendar year later i convince myself the bills are going to do it and they are always so close they're all i guess it's not as bad as the 13 seconds what happened today i don't know man today was pretty brutal because like the 13 seconds 13 seconds was was awful i it goes into the whole storyline of the chiefs and the refs and everything and and look i i get it like that that spot sucked and and the xavier worthy review uh where there was a penalty on that play so obviously it was it cost them yards but the Chiefs were going to get a first down anyway but that one was was iffy and and didn't really make sense to me I don't know I just I'm not going to sit here and be like the Chiefs are only in the Super Bowl because of the refs I feel like the Bills like that play sucked but the Bills game plan of defensively, they weren't able to guard anyone. And and offensively, just ramming into Chris Jones in that defensive line on those short yards made no sense.
And it was just like, like, I just don't get the James like James Cook. That that touchdown by James Cook was one of the coolest touchdowns I've ever seen.
Yeah. He was in the Matrix.
He floated. His body was contorted, and he floated into the end zone, and that guy didn't get – he didn't end up getting – and they also kind of went away from the run in the first half where second half you see them come out, they shove it down their throat.
And here's another one. I get it.
You can't second guess everything. Sean McDermott taking points off the board basically I mean that's a 31 31 game if he doesn't take the points off the board so essentially what happens is they score a touchdown at the end of the first half the Chiefs get a penalty the the the uh the Bills kick the extra point so it's 21 17 they there's a penalty they're like fuck it we'll go for two now they don't get it so instead of 21 17 it's 21 16 they score a touchdown in the second half because it's because they didn't get it the first time they go for it again so instead of being it if you kick both extra points it's 24 21 and now it's 22 21 do the math it would have been 31 31 not to get all analytical on you but part of the reason why you go for two is because there is a chance that you missed the extra point of course so if you've already made the extra point right then that's a little bit less of a reason right don't take the points off the board i just feel like i feel like sean mcdermott just again andy reed just out coached him and uh and i feel bad for josh like yeah was there especially the beginning of the game he was kind of erratic and could he have played better yeah but he also has been asked to play basically perfect to give them a chance and it's yet again where his defense and his coaching just they don't do enough yeah it was it was sad for bills fans America, too.
Even though, listen, I appreciate Patrick Mahomes. I appreciate the Chiefs.
I think we respect the Chiefs enough on this show. People will listen and take away.
People can listen to the show, and there'll be people like, you just glazed Josh Allen, or you hate the Chiefs. I've been saying it for how many times have I said that the Chiefs, the reason why the Chiefs are the Chiefs is not because of the refs.
It's because if you make a mistake, they take advantage of it. And that's what a championship team does.
Yeah. I don't know how more clear I can be that the Chiefs have that DNA.
Every big play they need. They were 6 of 10 on third and fourth down.
Patrick Mahomes used his legs perfectly today. He scored two touchdowns.
And then the best was we were having the debate in the cave when it was when the bills so who went out of bounds that was so stupid to them was a pacheco went out of bounds uh stopped the clock with like a minute and a half left i can't remember who went out of bounds but it was very low football iq it was pacheco it's pacheco like that was very unchlike. So the Bills technically still had a chance.
It was third and nine. And we're sitting there being like, should they kick the field goal? What should they do? And then I just stopped.
I was like, what are we talking about right now? They're going to get the first down. And that's what they did.
They have a play that gets them a first down when they need to get a first down that ends the game. Yeah, and when Mahomes was running with the ball, he was also tough as fuck today.
He was putting his head down head down he's trying to run through people he did not do the tiptoe on the sideline stuff he didn't do any of the the things that he's been criticized for he played an awesome game of football andy reed coached another great game of football the chiefs look like they they might be unstoppable again and now we've got a rematch the chiefs and the eagles max who do you think that Jason Kelsey is going to be rooting for? I don't know. I am terrified of that.
I think he's going to do like a house divided jersey. He's going to wear both? You can't do a house divided.
You just got to sit it out. No, he'll be there.
No, no. But I'm saying you can't wear a logo.
Maybe. The only thing that makes me...
He should be rooting for the Eagles. He should be.
Travis just won one. He should be, but I don't know if he will.
And that same team beat the fucking Eagles. I know, but it's...
He should be rooting for the Eagles. I agree.
well you think less of him if he doesn't he was in the locker room he felt the pain after they lost to that it's all his boys and it's all those same boys have a chance to get revenge against the chiefs also just for like the storyline he should be really like if not to give him podcast advice but like yeah you root for the eagles dude yeah yeah i don't know like i don't know what he ended up doing today he was at the eagles tailgate but he said on like his show on friday night that he was gonna try and get to the chiefs game he was trying to go to both games somehow i think that's not possible maybe second half yeah no that's what i'm saying like i don't know what he ended up doing, but he was at the Eagles tailgate for like ESPN game

I don't know what he ended up doing, but he was at the Eagles tailgate for ESPN game.

I don't know what they do.

They're pregame for the NFL.

And then he was like,

I really want to get to Kansas City, though, for Travis's game.

I think Travis is going to retire after this year.

The way that he talked about that made me think that he's going to retire.

I think if they win, he will. By the way, more so to the Chiefs' greatness, Patrick Mahomes.
Travis Kelsey was taken away in this game. The Bills did a good job of taking him away, and they're like, we're not going to let him beat us.
And then Patrick Mahomes just Hollywood Brown, Xavier Worthy, DeAndre Hopkins. He found other ways with his feet.
He found other ways to beat him. I got a couple of crazy Patrick Mahomes stats for you.
So this is from Josh Dubow, AP. Patrick Mahomes has trailed in fourth quarters in nine playoff games.
He has come back to win six and forced OT and two others before losing. He has a 132.2 rating with five touchdown passes, one TD run, went down one to eight points in the fourth quarter or OT of playoff games, leading scores on 13 of 14 drives.
That's as money as you get. That's Patrick Mahomes being incredible, the best quarterback in football.
That's not refs. I know that people will say it's refs.
That's not refs. What about the blended clock? That's what we learned.
That was bullshit. We learned.
Yeah. That the blended clock, like who's that painter? Salvador Dali.
The guy that painted. Yeah.
The melting clocks. Yeah.
So what the blended clock is just when the refs say, we're going to combine the play clock with the clock before the two-minute warning? He was explaining it was like when it's half a second off, you can just run it down. But then I see the zeros on one, and I don't see the zeros on the other.
Makes no sense. Also, Patrick Mahomes has been a starter in the NFL for seven years.
He has gone to five Super Bowls, and his worst season is a loss in the AFC Championship game twice. Yeah.
That's insane. That's insane.
He's great. And again, I thought that was a first down.
I really did. And I'm so gutted for Josh Allen and the Bills because I do think that if they get that first down...
No, who am I kidding? The Chiefs probably find a way to win the game anyway. If win that if they get that first down they win the super bowl but it's just it's it sucks being a bills fan is torture i i like they they they go through torture i i don't know what else to say like this is it's it's so brutal and and i really do you you said it a week or two ago pfd like if they lose in the playoffs is there a chance sean mcdermott's on the hot seat now i think sean mcdermott's a really good coach but kind of like andy reed in philadelphia like is there a chance that they've hit the wall and to get through the wall they need something different yeah but then you got to make sure that whatever he put in place pre-wall stays up yeah because the bills they were a bad team before sean mcdermott i know and then josh allen so i yeah i don't think you fire him but i just it did feel like this game was a another winnable bills game that coaching and defense like it hurt them and and josh could have been better he he was a littleratic at times, but he also made some fucking huge – that Matt Collins touchdown was a huge throw.
And, you know, they obviously were going to try to run the ball, and they did a really good job of that. And they just couldn't get stops.
I mean, the Chiefs didn't score 30 points all season. They did today.
Do you think that Rex Ryan is going to publicly lobby for the Bills job now? Probably. Like, it's coming home? Probably.
What do we say to the people who are now saying they're not going to watch the Super Bowl? Who's saying that? A lot of people online saying it's rigged. Saying they're not going to watch the Super Bowl.
If it's rigged, if you truly believe it's rigged, then why don't you just make a fuckload of money betting on the Chiefs? Great question. Me personally, that's what I would do.
Yeah. Something is rigged.
Yeah. Just clean up.
I also think people just don't like the matchup. Yeah, no, they don't like the matchup, but it's still the Super Bowl.
I don't care. It's the Super Bowl.
It's the last football game of the year. You're going to watch the Super Bowl.
You got to watch the Super Bowl. If you don't watch the Super Bowl, you're just not American.
Hank, why did you make a disgusted face when you said he's probably going to propose i was just thinking he wouldn't actually after i said it i realized taylor would never allow it to happen but i was thinking of like confetti yeah like boise state player win the super bowl propose and not retire you think he could do better is what you're saying no i just that that that thought of all that scene disgusted me but i don't think i think they would do it in a little more classy way i think she but i think he will retire and he will propose in the offseason i think she's going to propose to him what if we just win hank what if we just win we're not gonna win oh memes just said you're cooked do you think it's gonna be the refs or it's going to be Patrick Holmes? I don't know. We just got to win.
The screenshot of the first down is going to be. It's also brutal that as good of a blitz as it was, and it was a very tough throw for Josh, it was an extremely catchable ball.
Oh, Dalton Kincaid. It's not like he just had to throw it away or threw it up, and it was extremely, extremely catchable.
It would have been an all-time play that went down in the history books. But again, I don't know how the Bills would have gotten any stops.
I guess they'd have to score a touchdown there, and then maybe the game would have been over. But it didn't feel like

the Bills were ever going to... Like, if it went to overtime,

did you think the Bills were going to get a

stop then? It would have been poetic because of...

Yeah, I know, but they couldn't get

off the field. That's why that

first down, that

fourth down, was so big

because they could have made it a two-score

game. I know.
And then your defense has some room

where they can let Patrick Mahomes do his thing and it doesn't kill you. I know.
It sucks. I feel really bad.
We're going to know everything there is to know about the ref that called that ball short and whatever connections he has to Kansas City or Texas Tech or Andy Reid. I really thought it was a first down.
I really did. And I thought that one ref basically came out and did that.

But it's just, again, it's more like, I understand.

All Bills fans should be mad at the refs, and they should complain about the refs,

and they have every right to be mad at the refs and talk about it ad nauseum about the refs.

I'm removed a little from it that I can be like,

maybe just don't run the same play that was getting nothing over and over. Yeah.
They weren't even running the tush push correctly. They weren't pushing.
I agree. I thought he got the first down as well.
And it was clear the Chiefs had figured it out. Like the Chiefs were defending against it so well.
Yep. I thought they got it, but I didn't think that there was anything on the replay that was like definitive enough them to say, we're going to overrule what one of our refs said on the field.
And the Chiefs are just really fucking good, and that's what they do. They capitalize on everything.
Mahomes makes big plays. And you're right about Mahomes running tough.
He wasn't doing any of the trying to get hit late or trying to dance around the sideline. You like, he was jacked up on some of those runs.
One thing you can say negatively about Mahomes today is he had the worst spike in the history of football. That's true.
After the touchdown. That's a fact.
He was too jacked up. He couldn't spike it properly.
That's a fact. All right.
Anything else on this game? I mean, I just feel really bad for Bills fans, and I just feel really bad for Josh.

I want – it just sucks.

Because people will be like, hey, Josh Allen sucks.

No, he just keeps running up against Mahomes.

And he's playing to a level that should win games.

I just think the Bills keep kind of getting outcoached in these games.

Yeah.

The margin for error is so small in these games, and Sean McDermott makes a couple of these errors, chasing points early, running the same play that's not working over and over. Challenging that one catch.
Yeah. Like there's just these moments where it's like, if you just can do a better job or like, you know, knowing that Spags is going to do something crazy on that last, but using a timeout and talking to him, like figuring out your best play.
Because you had three timeouts there. I know you wanted to save them in case you didn't get that first down.
But also the play calling on that drive made no sense. Again, James Cook.
You can't make any mistakes against a team like the Chiefs. They're so fucking good.
They're so well coached. Patrick Mahomes is just money in the playoffs.
That's what he does. Chiefs are just a wagon, and they're going for history.
First three-peat ever, which would be insane. Yeah, they're going to get it.
Congrats. Max, you stand in the way.
I know. We have to.
We got to take him down. We got to take him down for Hank's legacy, really.
Also, for your legacy, too, Max, because it could change. It could change.
Well, how many of these big games has Hank lost? He wasn't Philly Hank until recently. Only lost to the Eagles.
No, I mean, but this just tears down everything the Patriots built. But if Mahomes keeps winning.
But I mean, a three-peat is three-peat is three-peat is the best team in history of the NFL.

But it's no team's ever done three-peat.

A three-peat would be tough against the Eagles, too, because two of those would be against you.

Yeah, no, that'd be tough.

That would be tough.

It would be known like people would think first of them beating the Eagles in the Super Bowl.

Just win.

Just win.

If the Eagles lose this game, I will have lost 67% of the Super Bowls on this podcast. Since I've been here.
Yeah. Since I've been here.
Yeah. That's a lot.
What were you going to say, Hank? That's a lot of podcasts of Super Bowls. The Eagles are going to lose.
Shut up, Hank. See, now when I need you, you're just a fucking dick.
Now I'm beginning to think you're not actually an Eagles fan, Hank. Well, what was last week? Last week you were, you know.
I was, I just, I call it how I see it. I knew that game was going to be a blowout.
I also thought the Commanders were going to beat the Lions. I want the Eagles to win.
It's impossible. Rooting against the Chiefs is legitimately like rooting against LeBron on the Heat.
It reminds me the same way. I root as hard as I can against them and they just win again and again and again.
Yeah, I wanted this game for Josh so bad and I was was just like, I should have just bet on the Chiefs

because that's the smart play.

So what are you going to do with your future?

Pack from homes under a field goal.

I'm going to ride it out.

I'm riding as well, Max.

I'm not cashing out.

All right, go birds.

I'm riding with you.

I'm riding with you.

Go birds.

The Chiefs are just really fucking good.

So are the Eagles.

And they're so well coached.

I'd just rather die than than root for the Chiefs.

But I had a...

If you didn't have a future, would you bet the Chiefs?

No.

I did it last year in the Super Bowl, and it was a great experience.

I would just bet like...

Because it was the whole time.

It was just like, oh, well, Mahomes is going to win this game.

You're such a dickhead.

Why would you do that?

Why would you kick a man when he's dead?

I was just thinking.

That's what I did for that Super Bowl. do we give enough credit to the chiefs fuck the chiefs okay i think i mean they're just really good i i don't know what like i mean the highest compliment you can get as a fan of a sports team is having everybody in the country hate your team yeah and the refs it sucks, it sucks that that happened.
The fourth and one, that sucks. They're just going to replay that over.
That's why it's like, man, the Bills fit. They just invent new ways to just.
What is Max looking up? Villain hero. I don't know.
There was some meme of the Eagles and the Chiefs playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl,

and it was one of those America maps of what every team is looking for.

Yeah, the part where I take account to be that.

Yeah.

Good job memes.

Live long enough to be the villain.

Yeah, whatever the hell the saying is.

Yeah, if you're a Chief fan, you realize that people,

you've broken so many cities' hearts through your rampage

that you know that they're going to hate you.

That's how sports is.

We all yearn to be hated.

Josh is going to get one, right?

Oh, man.

He has to.

But this team was like, I know they were rebuilding,

but their defense, obviously, Benford going out in the first quarter was bad,

but their defense was fairly healthy considering how unhealthy they've been in the last couple years and the afc is just so goddamn hard how did you um how'd you make that map means what what data did you sort through for that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain got it off. And now it's flipped again where the Eagles are the hero again.
Because it's a map of everyone rooting for the Eagles in the Super Bowl against the Patriots. And everyone rooting for the Chiefs in the AFC Championship against the Patriots.
And then everyone rooting for the Bills versus the Chiefs. And everyone rooting for the Commanders against the Eagles.
What do you think the breakdown on the new map is going to be though? Because I think we might have a couple states that are Chiefs besides just Kansas and maybe Missouri. I think Texas might be rooting for the Chiefs.
Yeah, Dallas. Houston isn't.
Houston is not. No.
It's a bigger city, too. It is a bigger city.
Yeah, I don't. D.C.
certainly isn't rooting for the Eagles. Nope.
No. I don't think anyone's.
Although, yeah, no, D.C. Giants certainly are not.
Yeah. Yeah, Saquon winning.
Yeah. So, yeah, there's a couple spots.
Niners fans hate the Eagles. They also hate the Chiefs.
They've lost twice to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, Max. Chiefs are just destroying everyone.
Yeah. This is what they do.
Fuck, we can't lose again. Just be a legend.
Stop. Yeah, everyone.
All right, let's take our last break, and then we'll do some coaching news and some other stuff. We'll get back to the show in a second.
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Oh, whose line is it anyway? Super Bowl 59? I haven't looked. I said it was just going to be under a field goal.
Is Chiefs? Are they favored? What's the line? One and a half. Chiefs, one and a half.
That's probably going to move a little bit. Okay.
It usually never stays the same for the Super Bowl. But it's also never going to get to a field goal either way.
That's never going to get to it. You think Chiefs minus three is out of bounds? I think it's never going to happen.
I think people will gobble that up. Yeah, I think they would gobble that up in a second over under 49 and a half gotta probably bet the over because it's the super bowl yeah it's un-american get it all on draft kings i'm gonna bet i'm gonna bet tails tonight just to feel like i'm i'm locked in the national anthem yeah you should be able to bet on the flyover too Yeah.
All right. So coaching news.

Liam Cohn is the new head coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars, and it was quite a sordid affair on Thursday. It was after we recorded.
We actually got a little bit of it in there, but then more details came out. He spurned the box.
He basically, the timeline goes like this liam cohen took the first interview with the jaguars actually at the glazers telling him like hey go take this interview came back balky was still the head uh the gm of the jaguars the offer was probably in the i don't know five six million whatever you want to call it range. He talks to the Bucs.
Handshake deal. Bucs are going to make him the highest paid coordinator, offensive coordinator in the league.
Part of the handshake deal is he can't go for a second interview with the Jags. Trent Balky gets fired.
Shad Khan calls up Liam Cohen, says, hey, the price just went up. We're going to pay you $13 14 million dollars a year liam cohen's now stuck because he made this handshake deal that if he doesn't takes a second interview he's not gonna be the highest paid coordinator so he goes to jacksonville basically tells the bucks hey i'm gonna come in on thursday to sign my new contract uh doesn't take any calls from them tells him that he's tending to emergency.
Uh, word gets out that he actually is in Jacksonville interviewing for the Jaguars job. Uh, the Jaguars are also trying to keep it under wraps because they had to, uh, clear the Rooney rule and get another minority candidate in the building.
So they do that on Thursday morning, get Liam Cohn to agree to be the head coach. Then Liam Cohn, I think, picks up a phone call from Todd Bowles like, hey, I'm at the hospital with my kid.
And also this Jaguar situation is changing, takes Jaguars job and the Bucs are pissed. He used the term material change.
We haven't seen that in a couple of years. Yeah.
I don't ever fault the guy for taking the head coaching job because there's very limited in supply if you get the opportunity to do it you probably want to do it and you also get paid a shitload more money he probably could have handled this a little bit better but when he basically he went back to the bucks and then the jaguars were like we understand that there's a guy that you really hate yeah and i know that we said we weren't going to fire him but we want you so much that we're going to fire this guy just to make you happy and and then at that point they now if he didn't take that job they just fired a guy for no real reason and that was probably like a big selling point for him he's like i don't have to work with that guy anymore he's getting he's getting paid insane money uh ben johnson money is what they said which is insane money as well the bears paying ben johnson insane money but it's unprecedented for a first-time head coach it's also unprecedented for first-time head coach to be able to pick their gm uh i don't really blame liam cohen at all on this i know that that's probably uh look like scumbag behavior but he the i don't know what choices he had in the fact that the box shouldn't have made it contingent on not taking the second interview. If you're an employer, you should let your employees take those interviews, go see what is out there, especially in this business.
When you know that guys are going to try to, you know, get dream jobs, only 32 of them. If they didn't make make it contingent on him not taking the second interview i think he probably would have been more forthright about it but he was stuck in a position where if he takes a second interview he could potentially lose his job with the bucks and not get the jags interview or job i think if anything he's guilty of being a bad friend and a bad texter bad texter probably could i listen could have handled it better but i also go back to like nfl franchises will cut players anytime they want they will like our our colleague john gruden who worked for the bucks signed an extension and then got fired four months later or whatever it was or like look at bobby slowick the the coordinator for the texans after last season yeah he was one of the hot names out there getting all the interviews.
He decides to go back to Houston. The next season happens.
His name is now not in good standing with the rest of the NFL. He gets fired by the Houston Texans.
Lou Anarumo was the hottest name after the Bengals go to the Super Bowl. He just got fired by the Bengals.
I just think it's such a cutthroat business that if you don't look out for yourself, you can't be a nice guy in the NFL. That's really what it comes out.
And you know what the craziest part is, too? I understand Todd Bowles is mad. If the Bucs didn't make the playoffs this year, Todd Bowles probably would have been fired for Liam Cohen.
Yeah, but you know what? I accept the fact that the Bucs are going to be pissed at him. Yeah, no, of course.
The have everybody to be pissed, but I'm just like. The Bucs should be like, this guy is a snake.

I'm fucking pissed at him.

I hope we beat the shit out of him.

I hate that guy.

That's a completely reasonable response from the Tampa Bay Bucs.

Yeah.

But just like big picture, yeah, it's a head coaching job.

But people calling him like a scumbag.

I'm just like, I don't know.

Where's that same energy when a team does that to a player or a team does that to a coach? Because that happens literally all the time. And now it's the one time it's flipped where a coach has kind of fucked over a team.
I don't know. It's just the NFL's cutthroat.
It did play out like a soap opera, though. Yeah, it was incredible.
Succession meets eastbound and down. I feel like the nfl you just can't expect like loyalty and feelings just don't exist because everyone's they know that like the minute things go bad you're going to get fired and the and you have no guarantee of having a job opening like this again especially with this money um and really if you want to blame anyone it's probably shod con probably should have just fired trent bulky on on uh black monday when everyone expected it and this would have made it a lot easier but to be fair he was told by trent bulky that it would be a bad decision to fire to fire him yeah yeah i think that bad information i think like on a personal level i think you know people in the bucks building should be upset but i also again i if the Bucs had a chance to do something like this to a coach or someone, they probably would.
Whatever makes their team better, they're going to do. So why can't Liam Cohn do whatever makes his life better? You know, the only reason why I'm mad is because Baker.
Because now Baker has to have another offensive coordinator. And they're going to run that fucking graphic next year where it's the roller coaster, all the OCs that he's been with.

They've gotten fired.

This guy left.

He got cut.

He got traded, whatever, et cetera, et cetera.

That's another thing that he's going to have to do.

Also, Liam Cohn has jumped around.

I think he's had his fifth different job in five years.

You hired that guy.

You knew that that guy could do this.

You saw the resume. Right.
It's not crazy to be like wow i never i thought he would make roots here and stay forever yeah some people convince themselves somehow that it's going to work for them even though it never has well will it work for us yeah i don't think it might i i also think like the jags they just got in a spot where you know ben johnson said no to him i don't even know if mike rabel interviewed with them and they like had to do a panic move where the price they basically box themselves into being like we have to fire trump alki and pay an insane amount of money so that we can get someone that is sought after instead of having a situation where we end up with like the sixth option and everyone's like wow the jags really fucked this this up. Would it be totally crazy to think Doug Peterson would have been a good idea? Keep him around.
Keep him around. He's the second best in terms of winning percentage in the history of the franchise.
That's true. So it was crazy, though.
The whole thing was crazy. I just thought it was very funny that people were like, how could anyone ever do this? It's the NFL.
Yeah, nfl yeah this happens do you think when a coach gets in front of like uh like a college coach does a press conference like i want to be here for the rest of my life and then and then he gets an offer the next day and he jumps like we've seen that a million times like if the bucks had hired lane kiffin to be their offensive coordinator yeah and then he left after a year would you be pissed at lane or would you be like i can't believe that i let the scorpion ride on my back across the river right right and then when and then when lane kiffin gets left on a tarmac at usc that's the other way it just goes i feel like everyone just cuts everyone in the back in the nfl and it sucks but it's just the truth of it that that reminded me of the time that Al Davis fired Lane and had a whole PowerPoint presentation on an overhead projector yeah and he called the media into his room to watch his overhead projector and outline the reasons why he just fired Lane Kiffin so that rocked good segue speaking Al Davis Jerry Jones is in his late Al Davis years because he hired Brian Schottenheimer which was his offensive coordinator this year. So the Cowboys, basically, the Cowboys offseason has gone blocking Mike McCarthy from doing any interviews, having everyone believe that they're going to resign Mike McCarthy, not resigning Mike McCarthy, then doing like a half ass search for head coach dion once uh and then jerry jones walking down the hallway and being like hey you what's your name again you want to be the head coach and now brian schottenheimer's head coach and in jerry even said uh one of the weirdest quotes ever brian schottenheimer is known as a career assistant he ain't brian no more he is now known as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.
That's his name. He ain't Brian no more.
You also left out Jerry Jones putting off an Emmy-worthy performance in Landman. Yeah.
That was also a big part of their offseason. Well, I think it goes to show you that the Cowboys job, probably not as desirable as Jerry Jones thinks that it is.
Yeah, I mean, did they even do a coach search?

I don't know if they did. They kind of did.
They interviewed a few guys. But if you're Jerry Jones, your big sell has always been you get to be the head ball coach of the Dallas Cowboys.
And now I think most football guys are like, that's not necessarily a great thing because that means that Jerry Jones is really the head of the entire operation. And I'm just, I have to learn how to be Jerry Jones's bitch while also pretending to be the alpha on this team.
When every player on the team understands that like when their boss, their coach is talking to them, he's not really their final boss. He's not the boss boss.
And this goes to, I've been saying it for a while now because I thought they weren't going to fire Mike McCarthy or part ways with him. Jerry Jones, the Jerry Jones from the 90s and the Jimmy Johnson stuff and Barry Switzer and then bringing in Parcells.
That guy doesn't exist anymore. He just wants a coach that will just follow whatever he says.
And guess who's going to follow whatever he says? The career assistant who is down the hall. He's like, here, you be the head coach.
He doesn't – Thank you for the opportunity, sir.

Yeah, ever since Bill Parcells, he's not going to hire someone who is going to have that alpha energy and be like, this is my show.

He's going to hire people, Jason Garrett, Mike McCarthy,

who sat out for a year, guys who are going to basically do what Jerry says

and be like, thank you, Jerry, for giving me a life.

Yeah, it's like a situation where your head coach is speaking to you after practice, like taking E-boys, and he's like, the buck stops here with me. I'm the boss.
I'm in charge of everything. And then his hat gets blown off by Jerry Jones' helicopter as it lands on the field.
Yeah. Yeah.
This has to make you PFT and Max. Oh, he's leaving.
He's taking a piss. I think it's a great hire by the Cowboys.
I think you guys got to be both very pumped. I think the Cowboys are a disaster.
You just have to ask the fans of teams that Schottenheimer has coached for in the past what they think of them. Yeah.
Now, I could be wrong. I've been wrong before.
I was wrong last year about Dan Quinn. I should have had him second.
I should have him first instead of, but I have him like third. Yeah.
But I've been wrong before. I don't always get it right.
But if you're asking me right now, I love it. I love this hire.
And people are bringing up like, oh, well, everyone thought Dan Campbell was crazy. This hire could work.
I think it's more the fact that the process made no sense because it doesn't feel, again, like they did. It felt like Jerry just called up deon sanders and was like do you want the job he's like no he's like all right i think he talked to brian shaw yeah who p carroll got hired by the raiders which is awesome because p carroll is it's going to be fun to have him back there he will be on week one he will be the oldest coach to coach an nfl game uh i he beats Romeo Cornell by like six months, who is the oldest right now when he was interim for the Texans.
But the real story with Pete Carroll being in the Raiders is that Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll are destined to just go against each other. I love that no matter what, they will always follow each other.
This time it's Pete Carroll following Jim Harbaugh. Obviously, we had Stanford and USC in their famous dust-ups, the biggest upset ever, 41-and-a-half point favorites.
Then Pete Carroll goes to the Seahawks. Jim Harbaugh goes to the Niners.
And now Jim Harbaugh to the Chargers and Pete Carroll to the Raiders. They have to be together.
And it's not just those two. That whole division rocks.
Yeah. That whole division.
You got Andy Reid and Sean Payton. Yeah.
And then Harbaugh and Pete Carroll. Yeah.
It's great. That's going to be great.
I'm excited about that. I also like Pete Carroll teaming up with Tom Brady.
Because Pete Carroll, he might be on his own TB12 thing because he does not look like the oldest coach in Philadelphia history. He's young as fuck yeah he's he's like as young his body years his true body years if you were to measure it and whatever shit dana white got extracted from his blood that one time yeah uh he's probably about as as young as mere you yeah i think our but that might actually just say that we're very old but we meet somewhere in the middle yeah oh happy birthday week by the way what yeah this is our last week in our 30s i'm not freaking out about it no i haven't thought about it at all definitely been freaking out about it a little bit yeah memes is shaking his head he's so happy to get up my birthday it's not our birthday yet to get up three times to pee the other it's not our birthday yet actually tune into friday's show because i because I think PFT and I will...
By the way, subscribe to the YouTube. Please subscribe to the YouTube and watch us.
On the Friday show, we'll probably do the kiss. Because Thursday's my birthday and Friday's yours.
That's right, yeah. So we'll probably do the kiss exclusive to YouTube only.
What a tradition. Yeah.
We kiss every year. At the stroke of midnight.
At the stroke of midnight between January 30th and 31st yeah we're gonna be it's very weird it's fine you know what we just gotta get through like the week where everyone says ah you guys are old and then we'll be young again so like we're not 50 40 plus yeah it's a cool you're fucking like 32 no i know then whoa whoa whoa not yet having panic attacks at 32? 31. You're going to be 32? Panic attacks at 31.
Max is going to be 30? Yeah, I'm over it. In two years? This year.
Oh! Memes, you're like 40. Next month.
You're 30? Yeah, next month. Oh, my God.
We got to get an intern this right. We got to get an intern this year.
We got to get younger.

We got to get one young guy here.

Jack's young.

Shane's young.

Yeah, I know.

But we need to get.

We're going to do it right this year.

We'll get an intern for the whole summer.

And we got to get.

We can't say age, but.

We need a teenager.

Yeah.

Part of my drink.

We need someone whose parents are really cool and they can sign the waiver we need a 16 year old yep the next generation we're cool i'm just kidding we're not gonna get a 16 year old 17 is fine unless they're like really good yeah unless they're really funny 17 if you're listening to this year 17 big cat big catademics yeah you can just get in here. Yeah, we want a kid who's like...
I want the Rizzler. I'll just say it.
We can't afford the Rizzler. Spot's open for the Rizzler.
I want a kid walking in here being like, yeah, I started listening to you guys when I was nine. Speaking of the Rizzler, what are the Saints doing? Are they going to hire a coach? I think Mike McCarthy.
Okay. It feels like it.
That makes sense. Yeah, Dennis Allen's now the DC in Chicago.
But whoever signs up to coach the Saints, you're walking into cap hell. Yeah.
This is ongoing cap hell that you have. Mike McCarthy can get it.
He knows numbers. He's got some computers, yeah.
All right. Rollback question real quick.
Max, rollback question. RHOBACK.com.
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Roback.com, promo code TAKE. Max, Noah, the question that everyone really wants to know is, Saturday night, will you be drinking champagne and getting fucked up? I will not be drinking champagne.
I will definitely be getting fucked up. Okay.
Are you going to be losing your phone? I was thinking about just getting a new phone on Super Bowl. That's a good tradition.
That's not good. What? I'm concerned, Max.
I don't think. You know what? Enjoy the win.
No, that was dumb. You got to be mentally prepared.
I don't know why I was thinking that. Right now, you're not mentally prepared.
Why not just save all your energy for Sunday?

What?

If I were you...

The night before the Super Bowl is fun.

Yeah, I know, but...

No, I'm not going to get it.

It went bad last time.

I'm not going to get as drunk as I was last time.

He tried to fight you.

No, I just said that I could fight it.

Funniest night of my life.

I would sign up for that again.

The thing about me is I beat the fuck out of Hank. Yeah, no, I'm not going to get that drunk.
Okay. I'm not going to get that drunk.
I never said that. Are you going to creep out any mentalists? I'm going to puke in an Uber.
No. Shut up, memes.
Memes having a ball right now. Oh, man.
No, he's gonna make good decisions who's when he's blackout drunk the night before the super bowl in new orleans who's gonna go to the super bowl with you me smacky and roan love that that's a hell of a crew that's a hell of a crew um all right uh let's see who's back uh does everybody know here what season it is? Basketball season? That's right. But it's also tax season, which we all know Hank is not a fan of.
How are you feeling about that, Hank? Well, guys, you're not going to believe this, but I'm actually feeling very good about tax season this year because we have a new partnership with Tax Hacked. I've been showing memes.
It's a do-it-yourself tax filing software company. They have step-by-step guidance that makes filing easy.
I mean, who doesn't want their taxes to be easy? And if you have a question or get stuck, they have US-based tax experts who know the ins and outs of the tax system to answer your questions. Seems easy to me.
Very easy. All you have to do, just go to taxact.com.
You got a couple more months, but it's always better to get ahead and stay ahead when it comes to your taxes. That's something I've learned over the years.
I'm very happy that I do that now. So you should do that as well.
Go to taxact.com. You can talk to a credentialed tax expert, EAs, CPAs, tax attorneys, and every tax expert is based in the US.
So go to taxact.com. You can talk to a credential tax expert, EAs, CPAs, tax attorneys, and every tax expert is based in the US.
So go to taxact.com. Check it out for yourself.
Okay. Thank you, Hank.
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Dove, whole body Dio at Walmart today. Who's back of the week, Hank? Who's back of the week is USA.
Yeah? Yeah. USA.
Australian Open. Ariana Sabalenka.
Notorious best women's tennis player Number one seed We were watching this during the dart stream At 2.30 in the morning I bet a lot on Sabalenka Because I'm like, it's a lock, she's so good She's the best to do it Got smoked by Madison Keys. 19th seed in the tournament.

Major upset.

USA.

Aussie Open champion.

America's back.

I like that, Hank.

That's very good.

Very good for the country.

Very good, Hank.

What happened to Novak?

He got hurt.

He has like a crazy hip contusion.

He tweeted out a picture of his MRI.

And I looked at it.

I was like, oh, I see. I had no idea what the fuck it fuck it was also he basically won the whole thing because he beat out grass wait it would tweeting out a picture of your isn't that hippo he doesn't care about that shit yeah right uh hey hank you want to recap your dart stream at all it was great the dart stream went well yeah it went a lot better than uh i thought i got a triple because we split it up into three legs, 180, 180, 141.
The second leg was always going to be help, which I thought was going to take a lot of time. I thought it was going to be, you know, I was tired.
We're going to have guests come in. You guys are going to come in.
Anyone can throw darts if they hit two. I always have to the third one.
I had a 180 in my own the first hour, which was a miracle on its own. Then Max hit two triple 20s, and I just stepped up and hit the third one first time.
Absolute miracle, if we're being completely honest. And then PFT came in the morning with Blake.
He, at his request, we turned him into a golf stream, hit a one in the first five attempts no big deal uh so the stream i was expecting to like i was again dreading it i thought it was still gonna be going right now like i thought i was gonna be living at this office you know doing this podcast and being like all right see you guys i'm gonna go to sleep here wake up continue the stream so when i got home on saturday afternoon afternoon and I was done, it was a great relief. Thank you to everyone who tuned in.
It was honestly fun. We had a good time.
Liam Blutman, he got the game dart. He just hung out just to hang out.
He didn't even have to be here. I kept trying to tell him, you don't have to stay, dude.
And he was like, no, I'm chilling. Darts are ball.
Yeah. Yeah.
Game dart was a touching award. I was bouncing in and out on Friday night when you got started, keeping tabs on it.
I got oiled up. Yeah.
I was about to say, when I tuned in, I was greeted with Hank just completely shirtless, covered in oil, throwing darts for about an hour. Can you explain that to me? Everyone in the chat was like, oil up Max, oil up Pug, oil up Hank.
Somebody said boil Pug. Someone said boil P yeah and and i was i was one leg in and i was like if we get the second leg done before sabalanka starts which was at 2 30 in the morning i was like i'll get oiled up thinking that was not gonna happen and it happened so i manned my word i got oiled up yeah you were glistening love it it also made the darts so oily.
Yeah. Which was...
No duh. But, like, and so hard to throw.

Yeah. up yeah you were glistening love it it also made the darts so oily yeah which was no duh but like and so hard to throw yeah it was a it was a big detriment to you crushed it hank you crushed it yeah my arm i think if my left arm is definitely pretty injured if we had gotten another like six to eight hours i probably would have been like tommy john i i tuned in on friday night when i got home from the movies and i you i like almost instantly you hit your first uh 180 and i was so pumped for you what about the sleep talking yeah well i was worried about the sleep talking i wasn't even planning on sleeping but i stayed up it was like eight o'clock i was getting we turned the chat we turned the stream over every 12 hours you have to like start a new stream just so that it stays live on YouTube.
And the overnight vibes were great. We were watching tennis, having a good time.
Everyone was positive. We switched over at like 7 a.m.
And I hadn't slept, so I was maybe a little irritated too. And everyone was so negative and they were so annoying.
And that's when I realized I was like, I'm fatigued. I'm tired.
Like not we had the roxon 10 minute edge where i got a mulligan i didn't get through it and i was like i need to take a break i'm gonna take a nap two hours and then we'll you know we'll finish this thing didn't put on any mouth tape and my friend kurt who you guys have all met uh he was in the chat at like 4 a.m like he just popped in was like oh what's up and i was like oh kurt so it must have just been on the top of my mind and in my sleep i was yelling i was just like kurt which was my biggest fear because i i yeah i've gone into trouble before where i just i don't know i i don't know why i say what i say i don't have any recollection of the dreams or what's going on in my head when i say it but i have woken up many times people being like what the fuck was that who is this person like what is that about and i'm like i have no idea so the i'm happy it was just kurt like that's where it's like shit gets weird in my sleep i was worried about it and that was why that's very funny yeah he probably thinks you're dreaming about him no i texted him a clip i was like yeah yeah i mean he was in the chat yeah yeah but it's always like it's like one of those random things it's like it's not there's no rhyme or reason it's just like it was probably because i was like talking about him or to him like late at night and then it was just like yeah yeah he's the last thing in your head yeah uh okay pft your who's back my who's back of the week is going to be not understanding jokes Because Hank has been on this goonicide for the last five days And when he explained it, me and Big Cat were just like Wait, what's the joke? I don't think it's You think it's very funny It might be funny, I don't know Yeah, I don't know either I don't think it's funny You think it's funny? No, I don't know. It might be funny.
I don't know. Yeah, I don't know either.
I don't think it's funny. You think it's funny? No, I don't.
Basically, what happened was it's your way too deep online. Yeah, no.
You probably know this. A guy, there's a coffee shop in Arizona where the baristas wear bikinis.
A guy got caught on video jerking off while trying to order coffee he became a meme and then he killed himself so it's not funny agreed not funny at all but he keeps bringing up the guna side was like did you guys see about the guna side then earlier like 30 minutes ago hank was like they held a guna they had a guna for him hank explained to us last week and we just sat here we're like wait where that's not the guy died that's fucked up and just like, yeah, I probably shouldn't have said this out. Hank, do you think- It's one of those things that just needs to stay online.
You think he's going to be cremated? Again, memes make me laugh, and sometimes they're messed up. Hank, who's going to eulogize him? Yeah, exactly.
It's a sad story. Not understanding jokes.
Did I tell you guys the one that I had? The Gooneril. The Gooneril, the cementary.
Yeah. The one I had last week that made me want to kill myself was our good friend Keith Yandel, who's now part of Barstool Sports.
Shout out Spittin' Chicklets. They've added Yanz.
I was talking to Yans about mini golf, and now that he's part of Barstool, I was like, we got to get you in on these things. And I was like, you got to come and do March Madness with us.
And he replied, and he's like, when is that? And I was like, it's March. And he's like, yeah, I fucking know.
I was joking. And I was like, I might just kill myself and leave it as a suicide note.
But to be fair, you were texting with Yans. And in your mind, it was like 50% like texting with Biz.
Yeah, but Yans has got like, he said to me, and then he made worse. He's like, I think he's like, I used to get all the Canadian dudes in the locker room with that one.
I think you're the first American I've ever gotten. And I was like, God fucking damn it.
I love Yans. But Yans is the best.
So hopefully he'll be here for March Madness, which is in March. Also a little bit in April.
Yeah. Speaking of which, my who's back, national sports podcast, college basketball.
College basketball is back for me feast week. I love college basketball.
But now that the football is over, weekends are for a lot of america college basketball uh quick thoughts on college basketball uh duke is a problem but the acc fucking sucks so i'm just going to tell myself that they're good only because they're killing everyone in the acc uh the sec is so goddamn loaded auburn and alabama are both really fucking good. Tennessee is good.
Florida is really, really good. Houston is the same team every year.
And I'm trying to think what other thoughts. Kansas.
Well, Kansas, that was one of. I hate Kansas so much now.
That was they were they were up six going to the line with 18 seconds left and somehow lost that game in double overtime. Is that worse than what A&M did though? A&M was, no, because I should have even said Kansas also in regulation, they were up three and they got a five second call with two timeouts.
Yes, A&M. I like A&M.
I think A&M's going to be a good tournament team. But, yeah, they completely choked against Texas.
That was a meltdown. That was bad.
Total meltdown. And then also for the sickos and perverts out there, I have started to believe in the Wisconsin Badgers who are ranked and their offense is actually awesome.
And they whapped threes. And so get ready for me to have my heart broken on that because I actually believe that they could make a run, which they won't, and you guys get to watch that on live stream.
Also, last one I had was Villanova. Dead.
Next. So when you told me to bet Eric Dixon player of the year, and I bet it.

Was that a bad bet?

Bad bet.

I didn't even get a week of thinking that was a good bet.

Incorrect.

UConn.

UConn.

UConn.

It was 100-1.

If you give someone 100-1, you can't be like, oh, what the fuck?

It was 100-1.

It obviously wasn't going to win.

Villanova was supposed to make the tournament, you said. Yeah, and then they started sucking again.
But it's a hundred to one obviously was gonna win Villanova was supposed to make the tournament you said yeah and then they started sucking again but it's okay by the way people are mad about Dan Hurley if you missed it last week he uh yelled at a ref uh don't turn your back on me I'm the best fucking coach in the league or in the country um Jay Billis did a whole preachy thing where he was like this is just you're being disingenuous. Yeah, he did a preachy thing.
I can't say this clearly enough. College basketball needs asshole coaches.
That's what it was built on. The players changed.
Especially in the Big East. The transfer portal has changed everything.
You don't know who you're rooting for. I need a Bayheim.
I need a Coach K. I need a, like, as much as I hate Coach K, he has that, like, ah, I hate him.
I want to root against him. Dan Hurley is that.
If you hate him, that's good for college basketball. So I want him to do whatever he wants to do.
He's also being just as hard on his own players as he's the refs. Although he had a great line.
Was it against Villanova that Caravan missed the free throws?

Yes.

Yeah, Caravan missed two free throws.

He's a great free throw shooter.

And Hurley told what?

He missed what? It was a ball don't lie.

It was a terrible ball.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was a bad call.

And Hurley just told him after.

He's like, if you want to cry about it, go cry about it with your two national championship rings.

It's like, get back to practice.

Auburn's really good, though. Auburn's really good.
No, Auburn and Alabama are both really good. The SEC is loaded.
I mean, the SEC has teams. Mississippi State's good.
Kentucky's good. Vandy just beat Kentucky.
Like, the SEC top to bottom is so goddamn good that it's going to be, like, I don't know how each team is going to survive. Mississippi is good.

Mississippi State.

Mississippi State.

Mississippi.

All these teams are really fucking good.

Missouri is decent.

So, yeah, I'm excited for college basketball.

And it's always fun because I love just getting really mad.

Just kids.

Yeah, I watched.

Hunter Dickinson, not a kid.

Not a kid.

He's just 25.

Doesn't.

Whatever. I've been watching.
His defense is. Just because you stand up and straight up and down doesn't mean you're playing good defense.
I've been watching about two college basketball games a week for the last month or so. This weekend is really when I sink my teeth into college basketball.
Yeah. This week when you got the pro bowl on, it's like you can focus on it for the first time.
I love it. I love it.
They also need to figure out the schedule because they don't like it used to be that Monday and Thursday still had a lot of games. They've taken away Monday and Thursday and Tuesday and Wednesday has all the games.
And it's just because Friday now has games. Just give us even out the games, even out the games.
Also, Doug's is back 3 p.m. Today.
I'm going to be doing a Doug stream. So tune in.
We just got one last one that we're going to do a little, you know, there's no football on for two weeks, so we're going to do a Doug stream. Going to get there, try to win some games, have some fun.
We haven't decided exactly the format either. I'm going to try to win a Natty playing in the tournament.
Yeah, that's what I'm going to do, not play Jerry. Jerry will be there, though, though, for defensive coordinating.
So I'm going to basically start at the playoff and try to win a Natty for a couple hours. So tune in on the Pardon My Take YouTube and subscribe to the Pardon My Take YouTube.
Did we hit 600K? Not yet. Showing dong at a million.
Everyone, please subscribe. Your dong? Your dong? Youes is showing your dong? Yeah, we agreed to that on the tar stream.
Oh, okay. You going to oil up? His dong? No, in Madden.
Oh. Or in Doug's.
Doug's. Yeah.
I get oil up. I don't know why you just agreed to that, memes.
I want it now. We said it like if we get to a million by the end of the stream.
You said if we get to a million by the end of the stream, you would show dong.

Eventually, it will get to a million.

I'll helicopter my shit for a million.

Yeah.

Just start an OnlyFans and put your dong on there.

Million.

We need a million.

What if memes dong had like a... I imagine it has like a Jets helmet on at all times.

Memes dong is just a meme of a dong. All right.
Let's finish up. We got numbers before we do that.
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Five.

Three.

Chiefs three-peat.

Also, JOC on Wednesdays coming in person.

Eleven.

Fifty-nine for the Super Bowl.

Ninety-nine.

Pug.

Thirty-four.

That was Jack.

Twenty-one.

Forty.

Jordy. What was Jack.
21. 40.
Jordy.

What was yours?

5.

What was yours, Max?

11.

41.

Love you guys. Thank you.
Thank you.