
NFL Preview With Dan Orlovsky, CFB Week 1 Recap + The Mt Rushmore Duel Between PFT And Hank
Football is back and Brian Kelly is yet again making headlines. We talk winners and losers from Week 1 of College Football and no one had a better weekend than Notre Dame fans (00:00:00-00:18:10). Billy Napier is basically fired and Dabo has lost his way (00:18:10-00:21:16). FSU is down bad and a fan is refusing to eat shit after he promised to (00:21:16-00:35:56). Who's back of the week including Scottie Scheffler, Joey Chestnut and Kirk Herbstreits dog, Ben (00:35:56-00:48:29). Dan Orlovsky joins the show to preview the 2024 NFL season, his top quarterbacks, teams that may surprise us and Super Bowl winner (00:48:29-01:38:34). We finish the show with the first ever Mt Rushmore duel between PFT and Hank to decide the loser of Mt Rushmore season (01:38:34-02:32:35).
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Full Transcript
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On today's part in my take, football is back.
We're going to talk about the college football week one.
We also have Dan Orlovsky on the show to talk about the NFL season,
which starts Thursday.
This is the best week of the year. Oh, and by the way, we also have a Mount Rushmore duel to decide the Mount Rushmore season after Orlovsky.
We have Hank and PFT going up in three head-to-head Mount Rushmores that we then had the AWLs vote blind polls. We don't know the results.
We're going to reveal it at the end of the show. There's a lot of tension in this room.
It's a great episode. Back from a long weekend.
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Okay, let's go. Hey, football guy.
For Dean of A.W. Pardon my tech
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The crown is yours. Today is Tuesday, September 3rd, and football is back.
And Brian Kelly is on the hot seat. Oh, my God.
It's a yearly tradition. He hates week one.
Brian Kelly has lost three straight week ones at LSU. He's got to start playing in week zero he's gonna volunteer the tigers like hey we'll play we'll go to hawaii the standalone games have not been nice to brian kelly he's trying to find the guy who uh who did this he's the hot dog meme basically saying after afterwards this is the first time since i've been here at lsu that i'm angry at my football team that's a football team you put together buddy that's the football team you coach that's his football that is your football maybe he was angry before but it wasn't his football team yet so like year one they lose that opening game uh florida state right yep with the weird shit that happened at the end with the extra point maybe he was mad but it was at coach o's football team that he happened to be coaching at the time.
But Brian Kelly, his face was turning redder by the second on the sideline. He looked like Tom Coughlin in that game, but it was indoors in Las Vegas, not in zero-degree weather in Green Bay.
Yeah, it's a tradition unlike any other. Brian Kelly getting upset week one of the college football season.
I would say we can go winners and losers the whole football weekend, But I think the number one winner, by far and away, not even close, is the Notre Dame Fighting Irish because they got to watch their team win on Saturday night in a game that Brian Kelly would have probably lost. I said afterwards, Brian Kelly actually cost the SEC two wins this weekend because LSU, who he coaches now, and the fact that he left Notre Dame, Texas A&M would have beaten him if he was still at Notre Dame because he doesn't win big games.
But Notre Dame won a game that was the biggest win of the weekend. Probably, if you look at their schedule, they don't have a ton of tough tests after this.
They're in the driver's seat. They might be ranked number one at the end of the season, and then they'll get the fifth spot.
Yes. And then they got to watch Brian Kelly.
And what was the big three things that Notre Dame fans tried to warn LSU fans?
They were like, hey, you can't win the big one.
Check.
Practice safety.
Not practice safety.
You can't win the big one.
Check.
He likes to blame everyone else but himself.
Double check.
And he's just kind of a jerk. Now, in his defense, I know I this is a indictment on brian kelly i won't go to his defense he should have had a word with his players before the game that it's against the rules to act like you're shooting your opponent with a shotgun after you score touchdown the kids can't know that the penalty brian needs so bad running on like you know it's just they he basically looked like he was scarred from last year's defense and being like, we got to just keep USC off the field and preventing themselves from winning the game.
Yeah. And the targeting at the end was pretty egregious.
Well, he said afterwards, he's like, our team feels like we have to be able to get over the hump. There's this vibe that we've won a game when we're up.
It like dude you're the coach yeah that's your vibe yeah it was uh it was not a great great show it wasn't a bad showing from lsu they weren't terrible no nussmeyer was good nussmeyer was good but then brian kelly threw nussmeyer under the bus later yeah and said their quarterback played a lot better and and and miller moss is very good oh he was incredible i think he told you 35 to 1 i think he did 22 i think he did play better than nussmeyer but their quarterback wasn't the reason why they lost the game no they lost the game because they had penalty after penalty and at the end of the game they like they they kind of were playing scared because brian kelly is can't win the big one i think he's like four and 13 against top big ones. Yeah.
Against top 10 teams. He, uh, he hasn't, he hasn't beaten a ranked opponent in a long time, right? He beat, uh, Clemson in 2022.
I want to say, or no, he was already at LSU. He beat Clemson, the DJU game, which we can, that they can now say, yeah, Clemson was four, but it was, you know, the backup.
It wasn't Trevor Lawrence. Yeah yeah the um I feel bad for I love LSU fans I love LSU every time we've gone there this is basically a repeat from last year by the way uh word for word every time we've gone there they've been the best people the most hospitable people like just so much fun they deserve better than Brian Kelly the guy's a shithead yeah with Brian sucks with Brianlly if you're an lsu fan you're like well he better win we'll love him if he wins but with him he gets no grace period if he loses no they're like well you can't be an asshole and lose yeah you can be an asshole and win we loved nick saban when he was here we're okay with that but you can't you can't combine the two because especially like as a uh complete like fish out of water in the sec'll be like, he's not supposed to be SEC.
He ain't supposed to be SEC, Paul. No, he's the guy who, his name's escaping me.
I think that's going to be, I'm going to stand on that take. Jerry DiNardo.
He's Jerry DiNardo. That's my official take on Brian Kelly.
You can put this on a quote card. He ain't supposed to be SEC.
No. LSU did it with with jerry dinardo who was uh i think he's a new yorker and and hired him and it was like dude what are you doing here you don't know our culture they need to bring they need to bring nick saban out of retirement imagine that yeah i think he'd do it that would be fucking sick i think nick saban he probably really enjoyed not having to work on saturday in in the fall for the first time in a long time uh he enjoys like there was one he did work yeah he kind of but not like you know not coaching a football team yeah he was on game day and uh he seemed like a little bit more relaxed he talked about how uh you know he does miss it a little bit already but you can see that the pressure of like the nil era was not he just hates that he's like i don't want to want to deal with the salary cap.
And he would have dominated because he's Nick Saban. By the way, I should have paused this for a second.
Hank, are you okay with us talking about college football right now? Yeah. Are you sure? Yes.
I know that you hate college football and you don't want to be bothered by it. That's not true.
That's not true. I like college football what's your favorite part on kent state pittsburgh on saturday morning well yeah people get mad people people got mad at me for like saying i was doing anything but watching college football saturday and i just said i'm not locking in my entire 12 hours of a day on saturday the only day we're not in the office to watch a random ass week one game when there's only like three good good ones.
You didn't have to watch Kent State and Pittsburgh. You could have watched another game.
There was a punt return in the second quarter that I tweeted at you. It was awesome.
It was sick. There are lots of good games.
Yeah. I actually have no problem with your take, Hank, because people should just do whatever makes them happy, and that's really the end of it.
Like, if it makes – I am happy. My happiness comes from watching 12 hours of football and watching Kent State Pittsburgh.
Your happiness is from golfing. You should do what makes you happy.
And we do 12 hours of football on Sunday. Yeah.
But that's the beauty of it. You do 12 hours Saturday and Sunday.
I'm like a 20 hours total. What if somebody had that take, though? Like, oh, I'm not allowed to do anything else on Sunday.
You have to gear your entire Sunday around watching the Panthers and the Patriots. People do do that.
College football fans do that. Yeah.
I have no problem with it. You got no problem with them, but they have a problem with you.
I have no problem with them. You had college football fans at your neck.
At my neck. I don't even think it was that controversial of a take, but a lot of people said thank you.
It sounds like you were triggered a little bit, though. Because you would have tweeted that out if you weren't triggered by something.
I mean, any response, I wouldn't say I was triggered. It didn't upset me.
I literally sent the tweet and then went about my day. It all started because he said he was going to be thinking about wearing a bucket hat on the golf course.
And then someone was like, dude, how could you miss college football week one? Yeah. And he was like, what am I going to watch? Kent State, Pittsburgh? Yeah.
Did you at least watch your Washington Huskies beat Weber State? I checked the score. Weber State? Yeah.
That was late night. It was late night.
It was late night. That's what you got to get used to.
How many points did they give up? Three. Yeah.
That's a Belichick defense. All right.
So are we okay to keep talking about college football? Of course, please. Okay.
All right. So, yeah, Brian Kelly was the biggest loser, and Notre Dame fans are the biggest winner because Notre Dame is basically going to the playoff.
I'm fine with saying right now they're in the playoff. Yeah, we can pencil them in.
Yeah, that was actually – They don't really play anyone. That was – and Marcus Freeman did take a shot at me in his post-game press conference talking about analytics.
It was the next day saying we need to have a further conversation. I don't think the conversation we had popped up, the go for two down to 14, but I will
say Marcus Freeman, the Notre Dame fans have to be so happy that Brian Kelly left, even
though it was weird when he left.
He just basically turned his back on the whole team.
Marcus Freeman's a dude.
I watched that video of him bringing the team out from the tunnel.
That's a guy you want to go to war with.
That's a game that Brian Kelly kelly doesn't win that marcus freeman did and notre dame played like they they they pushed it the envelope they went for some fourth downs and uh notre dame is yeah they're in the driver's seat it's a hard stadium to win in too especially week one yeah that's your first game of the season you go you go to kyle field you got the leaders being all weird. They probably had a hell of a pep rally the night before where they said all the really strange cult-like activity stuff that they do.
And I was told Connor Wegman was good, and he was not. I'll give him – he's just a kid, but he looked like shit.
I keep thinking you're about to do breaking moves. Yeah.
Just biting your fingernails. Well, see, Hank and I have an arrangement right now.
Actually, all of us do, which is we're not looking at our phones to see what the polls are for Mount Rushmore season. Not looking at the polls.
Hank was so affected by the season. I don't know what to do not having a phone in my hand.
I guess I'll read a book. Yeah.
So Hank started to read a book. What they don't want you to know.
What don't they want you to know? MK Ultra, political assassinations. Wow.
Lots of stuff. A lot of stuff.
A lot of stuff. Okay.
Other college football. So we're free to continue.
Please. I like watching the college football kickoff now.
It's like a little treat. Oh, the actual kickoff.
I was like, oh, it's an old kickoff. Yeah.
I remember this. Old school.
And college football is smart. But The one thing I don't like is the two-minute warning,
which is not a two-minute warning in college football.
They call it a two-minute timeout.
Yeah.
And then in the booth, they're like,
yeah, we're not supposed to call this a two-minute warning.
We have to call it a two-minute timeout. I'm like, guess what?
Everyone's calling it a two-minute warning.
That's what it is.
I do have a college football observation.
Oh, give it to us.
Wisconsin's QB is way too old to be playing.
Tyler Van Dyke? Yeah. Well, what about Miami's – He's just not good.
Who, Tyler Van Dyke? Yeah. So you did watch college football.
Yeah. You just happened to watch that game? Yeah.
Max is a real sicko rooting against Wisconsin. I never said that.
I texted him because I knew PFT was at Pop Punk. I knew Max was watching.
Yeah, he's – what do you mean he's too old?
There's so many old quarterbacks.
Yeah, but he's just old enough where he's clearly not good enough.
He's just holding on and costing Wisconsin.
Oh, damn.
Do you know that we don't usually get good quarterbacks?
I don't think he's good.
Okay.
But we don't get quarterbacks.
What about Graham Mertz?
Didn't go well.
No, he did not.
You disagree?
I was watching that game, and I was like, this guy is bad.
And then they're like, he's like 27 years old.
The fake field goal was sick.
The fake field goal was sick.
He's 23 years old.
So I don't really know why that one.
I got my eye on him.
There was a tight end on Miami who's in his ninth year of playing. Yeah, that's too much
too. Dylan Gabriel's on Oregon.
He's 23
years old, but it's just my guy.
I haven't watched any Oregon yet.
I'll let you know. I think Hank's saying...
Hank doesn't like watching... How'd you only watch one game?
I watched Colorado too. I watched Colorado too.
Hank doesn't like watching
an old quarterback who's bad.
Yeah. It was a bad game.
Memes has got something to say. How old Memes.
How old's Washington's quarterback? Oh. Good question, Memes.
Cam Rising is like 25. I have no problem.
I'm just meaning he's not good. How old is...
I don't know. Worry about your own team, buddy.
All right, sorry. I won't.
No more college observations from me. Well, I mean, you only came with one that my team stinks.
I know we're transitioning.
It's not great. I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
I wish we weren't doing the air raid.
I wish we were just – I was actually texting my friends during the game.
I was like, dude, old Wisconsin football, we would have just won this game 27-7,
and it would have been so boring, and I would have been so happy.
Instead, we're trying to do this air raid, and it doesn't work.
It's the truth.
Just run the ball up the middle, and the game takes like two hours and 30 minutes. We win 27-7.
We throw nine passes, and that's in and out. Mames, how old is Washington's? 23, Will Rogers.
Oh, yeah, Will Rogers from? The U. Mississippi State.
Close. He's been around the block.
There was a tight end on Miami who scored a touchdown in the Swamp
who was in his ninth year of college football.
I think Hank's gripe with this is that it's depressing
watching an old quarterback who's also bad.
Yeah.
Which is true.
Will Rogers isn't great.
35-3.
Okay.
FCS?
Do you know what that is? Scoreboard. Hank, just tell him scoreboard.
You know what FCS is? One double A? Okay. I don't like this new college football, Hank.
You only watched one fucking game and it was my game? We're going through things. Listen, we're going to beat South Dakota State and then we're going to lose by 30 to Bama.
All right. I'm telling you right now that's what's going to beat south dakota state and then we're going to lose by 30 to bama all right i'm telling you right now that's what's going to happen and i've made my terms with it any other thoughts from that game feels very directed that you just we're working on some things colorado travis hunter stud yeah yeah there it is that that touchdown catch he had.
Travis Hunter is unbelievable. He, like, I don't know how he caught that ball in the corner of the end zone where he reached, like, across the other guy at the last second and dragged it in.
He's going to be the number one pick, obviously. Probably not.
Really? Probably quarterback. Quarterback.
I might have to bet Tyler Van Dyke to win the Heisman now that Hank's doing this. You can get some pretty juicy odds on that.
Yeah, I don't even know if they have him on the board. Probably a billion to one.
If you do that, yeah. A billion to one.
A 1-800-GAMBLER number should pop. They should hack your phone.
They're going to be like, are you sure you meant to do this? For your own good, sir. All right.
Other notes. You have to have a nuclear submarine.
You have to have two people that share the same bank account turn the key on that one. Hank, let me give you a quick 30-second explanation of what's going on right now.
I'm having a crisis, okay, because I believe in Luke Fickle, and I think he's a very good coach. They decided to do an air raid offense.
It doesn't really make sense for Wisconsin when all we should do is run the ball down your throat and beat like everyone on our level and then lose to Ohio State and Penn State. I was happy with that.
That was a good life going like nine and three and ten and two and playing boring football, but just fullback fucking down your dick. You're not going to stop it.
It was a good life. now I don't have a good life because now we try to throw the ball and we don't throw the ball well
and we're going to be able to stop it. It was a good life.
Now I don't have a good life because now we try to throw the ball and we don't throw the ball well, and we're going to win like six or seven games, and I don't have a good life anymore. Yeah, you're at the mercy of – what's his name? Van Geichel? Van Geichel.
I don't know. You're thinking about Van Geichel.
You're just so – Yeah. You're just offended.
You were offended by my quarterback. Yeah.
I was just like, this guy is horrible. Where did he come from? They're like, you know he's like a seventh-year transfer.
He's not a seventh-year transfer. He's not a seventh-year transfer.
All right. Other losers this weekend.
Billy Napier. Billy Napier, big time.
Sunbelt Billy. He coached at Louisiana, right? Yeah.
Ain't cutting it. He ain't supposed to be SAC either.
That's another situation where they got rid of Dan Mullen, who went to some New Year's Six bowl games, and now Billy Napier. I think I saw that he is 7-5 at the Swamp, and if you take FCS teams out, he's 5-5.
Yeah. Listen, Dan Mullen, yeah, his wife kissed players on the lips.
the lips big deal he won football games he's a guy that looks so happy to be on tv yeah he loves being with his big old head yeah uh billy napier had trouble uh during the game he had trouble after the game he couldn't get the top off his water bottle yep which was a bad look you should be at least have the forearm strength to remove a bottle cap hank's doing it right now and he he's got tiny little arms. Yeah.
It's that easy, Billy. He does.
He's probably on the hot seat. He was on the hot seat before the season started.
He's fired. And then we looked at when Andy Staples was on the show, we saw their last, what, seven games? Yeah.
He's fired. Billy Napier, unfortunately, has been pre-fired by me.
Florida, to do that against a team where you're competing, the same recruits that you're trying to get are on the sideline watching that game. Yes.
And to just get your shit pushed in by an in-state rival. Conversely, the U might be back.
The U is – Cam Ward is electric. He was electric last year.
He's awesome. And the U, yeah, it does feel like they're another team where a week one win on the road in the SEC, they now are in the driver's seat where their schedule is not super tough, and Florida State looks like shit.
I mean, they're 0-2 now. DJU, that's gotten his bet.
Florida and Florida State game, by the way, will be the most depressing game this year. Florida State looks like shit.
Virginia Tech, the dark horse in the ACC, lost to Vanderbilt. Yeah.
So NC State struggled on Thursday night. So Miami, like, maybe their toughest game is Georgia Tech if they play Georgia Tech because Georgia Tech's 2-0.
But, like, Miami was another big winner from the weekend. The U might be back.
The U, I think, is back. I think right now they're in pole position to win that conference.
Yep. And credit, by the way, to Bill O'Brien.
Yes. Bill O'Brien, Boston College.
Did you see his polo shirt tonight? No. Oh, Big Cat, you got to look up a picture.
Oh, did he have sweat stains all over the place? He had sweat stains, but they weren't like the normal sweat that are like limited to your armpits that usually go down to the chest area these pit stains went down the side of his arm i love it in the polo shirt to the very end of it it's hot in florida it's very hot down there it's muggy he's not he's not a southeast boy but it's uh bill o'brien called a hell of a game yeah and florida state. They've looked so bad.
I mean, they have a bye week next week. Thank God for them and their fans.
Did you see also there's a fan online who now has to delete his account. He did delete his account.
Yeah, that was going to be by Who's Back. Oh, 321 Noel said, If Florida State loses to BC this weekend, I'll eat dog shit out of a red solo cup with a spoon and post a video of me doing it.
Book it. He's now gone from this world.
Coward. Coward.
Deleted his account. You got to follow it.
Now that, listen, they're not going to win any more games until this guy eats the dog shit out. That's fact.
That's how it works. Yeah.
So Billy Napier was a big loser. Florida State in general was a big loser.
And then Dabo, poor Dabo, said before the game, it's not about the scoreboard, it's how hard you play. And then after the game, after they got absolutely crushed by Georgia, who looks like, you know, they look like back-to-peak Georgia, where it's like, now that Saban's not there, their only loss was ever to Nick Saban uh there's a rollover people dabo said after uh the game one of the positives from the game was that the tigers matched up well with the bulldogs in terms of pure talent the scoreboard doesn't show that but we matched up well some details really cost us i'll give you one detail quarterback yeah or the scoreboard scoreboard is a detail yeah that's a minor detail that's a pretty big when you when you score six points yeah it's a but like clemson was a great team they were a great team in college football yes and then they just became a not so great team it felt like overnight but the overnight was just when trevor lawrence went to the nfl yeah and since then they haven't been able to find out who's throwing the ball for them, so they're going to stink for a while.
Yeah, Deshaun Watson and Trevor Lawrence were all world out-of-this-world quarterbacks, and they haven't been able to replicate that. They haven't gotten anyone that's nearly as good as him back there.
Did you also see Roddy White? Yep. He said that he's like Clemson has too many white guys out there, and then people got mad at him, but I think what he was talking about was there was a possession where it was like 10 out of 11 guys on the field.
That is too many white guys. That's too many white guys.
You can't have that many white guys out on the field. And play against Georgia? Yeah.
Georgia? No, you cannot. I mean, listen, I'm all for equality.
I think it's a meritocracy on the football field. You can't have 10 out of 11 guys.
That's a lot of white guys.
We won't be able to beat Georgia.
That's a lot of white guys.
But yeah, Dabo, he's going through it.
That reminds me of that quote from the Air Force coach back in 2002 where they asked him what he needed to do better.
He's like, we need to recruit more black players
because they run very, very well.
That was his answer after the game.
There you go, buddy.
Yeah.
Penn State was a big winner. Penn State awesome is Drew Aller good Drew Aller looked sick he looked like the guy that everyone thought he was going to be last year well if you listen to our uh our preview with Brandon Walker and Tom Fernelli they correctly pointed out that Penn State's new offensive coordinator will make up a lot of ground for them, and it did look like that.
They were running some plays that had guys running wide open. Yeah, Trey Wallace was great.
It was fun to watch. It was not an offense that you were watching last year with Penn State.
Yeah, big win for Penn State. Winner of Tennessee.
Winner of Tennessee. Nico is legit.
As advertised by Tom Frenou and Brandon Walker. Yes, Nico is awesome.
Winner, the Idaho head coach, Coach Eck. I loved him.
He just basically – he had a – so Idaho was – I think they were down seven in the fourth quarter to Oregon. He had an entire binder of plays.
Like he would just have have he had a guy hand him a binder and it was there had to be like 3,000 pages in there and he just kept on having these trick plays that would work and it was so much fun to watch because it just doesn't have it was kind of like watching a 16 seed versus one and you're like this is just this is insane how are they still in this game yeah I didn't I wasn't able to catch any of that game but i every time i looked at the scoreboard i was like is oregon in trouble yeah is oregon going to lose this game and uh that i went back i watched some of those plays and they were just absolutely emptying the tank yeah against them it was like they knew they couldn't line up and beat them playing normal football but they're like we're gonna try to just smoke and mirrors our way to a win it was and it would have been an all-time smoke and mirrors win. Yeah, it was incredible.
I'm trying to think of any other winners or losers. I mean, the big losers was really just Brian Kelly, Billy Napier.
Dabo. Dabo.
Dabo, poor Dabo. Those three.
I said there should be some sort of football guy preacher that should get in touch with Dabo Swinney and tell him, like, you know who used the Jesus Christ when he went into that tomb so you can get in there for three days a year Dabo well that three days a year is good enough and you can just get in get out and just transform into a new team he I feel like he's also at this point where he he really should take a hard look and just be like should I just retire because if he if he walked away after this year he would be a Clemson legend and it would never be like it got bad but if you stay on too long and it keeps going like this and again Clemson still is winning they won 10 games last year I think so it's not that they aren't like still a good football team it's just remarkable how far they've fallen off from the superpowers that they were in five years ago. They need a good quarterback.
Yeah. If they got a good quarterback and maybe didn't have 10 out of 11 white players on the field on one time, which is kind of, it's weird that Roddy's last name is White.
It's true. And he said that.
So he gets a pass. Yeah.
So he gets a pass on that. He's allowed to use that word, the W word.
But if you're, if you're just take that roster and you put a good quarterback on it like a very good college quarterback then clemson be fine yeah they might not be georgia but they'd be fine no georgia's i those first games when you have to play like a georgia or lsu just else you should just not play week one anymore um they're tough yeah because it's like clemson could still win the ACC, could still go to the playoff. There's 0% chance Clemson is winning the national title this year.
No. Because you saw what it looks like when it's the best teams versus, like, there's a few teams that have that level of talent, and it was just Clemson was never, it was never, like, they were never in that game.
I know that it was a 6-6 at half, but it still was just not – you just saw the line of scrimmage. You're like, this is going to end quickly.
Like they're going to – as soon as the dam breaks, there's just nothing they can do about it. What's the spread for Tennessee-NC State? I think probably like seven.
I think ten – yeah, because it's on the road. But NC State didn't look great.
No. And Nico looks so good that I feel like Tennessee is going to compete in the SEC.
Yeah. I feel like they'll be right there.
No, absolutely. Also, shout out the Big Ten went 17-1.
No big deal. Yeah.
USC. 17-1.
And Washington. Yeah.
The only loss was Minnesota to North Carolina. Yeah.
When P.J. Fleck pretended he had Justin Tucker.
What were you going to say? No, that was close. lost by two um I watched that one oh you did what'd you think UNC's kicker is fucking insane has a bomb crazy and then PJ Fleck was just deciding that I don't know why he thought his kicker after he had missed like a 30 yarder he's like no we're good with a 47 yarder here and was not never close um but yeah big 10 17 and one so it's just weird seeing 17 and one yeah that's a lot so many fucking so there's 18 what the big 18 yeah i mean we haven't had 10 teams in forever i know we've been the big team i know so i like always like you get the pack 12 with when it's a two pack yeah yeah all right any.
All right. Any other college football thoughts? Anything else, Hank? You want to just keep twisting the night? Say something about the Big 12, Hank.
Everyone's team won. Yeah.
That's what he was going to say. Quinn Ewers.
It was on Sunday Conversation. I watched that.
Oh, Hank. Hank.
Not the Big 12. My friend, Texas.
Oh, fuck. Shit.
I need some analysis from you about the Big 12 before we continue. I got nothing.
Oklahoma.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They're RCC, too.
Name five Big 12 teams.
Let's go.
Kansas State.
Yes.
Oklahoma State.
Yes.
Get hot, Hank.
Get hot.
Get hot.
Kansas State.
Oklahoma State.
Kansas.
Yes. You've taken all the Kansas., Oklahoma State, Kansas.
Yes.
Yes.
You've taken all the Kansas.
You got no Kansas left.
Kansas State.
No, no.
You said we're not in Kansas anymore, Hank.
This is making me feel better about his analysis.
Texas Tech?
Wisconsin.
Okay, yeah.
This guy doesn't watch college ball.
Texas Tech?
Yeah.
Yes.
That's four, right?
Yeah, I said five.
You watch one of the games. Colorado.
Yeah. Bang.
Wow. Easy.
Any more? Any others? Slip one in. Nope.
I talked about one of the other games. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
Nope. Nothing.
Oh, Iowa has an offense. Iowa State.
Iowa State, there you go. Yeah, Iowa's offense, it didn't show up until the second half, but it did show up.
The first half was very funny. It started exactly how an Iowa game always does.
Yeah. It's like punt, punt, fumble, interception, miss field goal, punt, field goal.
And then they're like, we figured it out.
Yeah.
The iPads.
The iPads came in handy for them at halftime.
Is Arizona the Big 12?
Yes, Hank.
Good job.
Recently Big 12 team.
Good job.
Arizona State?
Yeah.
There we go.
We're cooking now.
You just got to find the pairs and just hammer it.
Yeah, think of Pac-12 rechecks. You we go.
We're cooking now. You just got to find the pairs and just hammer it.
Yeah, think of Pac-12 rechecks.
You got this.
That's good for now.
Okay.
Yeah, I think that's more than enough.
That was a good job.
That was a Big 12 recap.
That was a Big 12 recap by Hank.
Name some Big 12 teams.
I think you should actually – well, no, because I don't want you to have to study it.
But we're – let's say –
Oh, he won't.
Yeah, you probably won't. Maybe tomorrow, can you name all the big 12 teams yeah we should have done the Mount Rushmore big 12 teams just let Hank fly on it alright anything else from this weekend before we do who's back no I'm looking for next I'm looking forward to next weekend Texas Michigan I'll be there the college football show will be there you know who the captain's going to be for michigan the honorary captain who derrick cheater oh michigan legend yeah i did watch the connor stallions doc which was interesting what do you think i it was i ended up like being like i love connor stallions because he just seems like he is he's essentially just every fan ever who's like i'll do anything for my team to win and then he actually did do anything for his team to win um but yeah i mean they they definitely cheated i think everyone cheated but they definitely did too and harbaugh didn't know they cheated the most hard they tried to get they tried to implicate harbaugh by having a scene where connor stallion showed off off the game ball that Harbaugh gave him.
But look at this. Look at this.
Yeah. See this right here.
See this right here. This is a game ball presented to Max Delente from Big Dom.
Max, have you ever met Big Dom in your life? In spirit.
That's my guy. Exactly.
I rest my case.
How did I get back there, by the way?
I rest my case.
Harbaugh did not know.
Just because you get a game ball doesn't mean you know the guy.
And also the pictures with them together.
But whatever.
And he was on the staff.
Yeah.
Don't downplay my relationship with Big Dom.
That was a heartfelt gift.
You haven't met him.
You have not met him.
Fact or fiction.
I'm defending our guy Harbaugh.
There was a great story in the Conor Stallions doc where Conor Stallions, like, after everything he went through, he went to the Ohio State-Michigan game, and he said that after when everyone was on the field, he was on the field, he was wearing a ski mask, and he went up to Michael Barrett, one of their linebackers, and he was just like, he had his full ski mask on, and he was just like, great game, Mike mask on and he was just like great game mike b and and michael barrett was like are you fucking kidding me is that him and he pulled he like pulled down his ski mask for a second and michael barrett like went crazy how'd he get down there i don't know but he was like he he became everything that he was the internet was like pretending like he's everywhere yeah it kind of felt like at the end of the season he's like like, yeah, you know what? I'm just going to be everywhere. No, Cotter Stallion is like, okay, say what you want about cheating and all that stuff.
But the man had a plan. He had a course of action.
And he followed through on it. And he worked very hard at his goal.
Yeah. And he accomplished his goal.
He showed a little bit of his manifesto, but he said he's still saving it for when he's going to be Michigan's coach. Because he's going to reuse it.
Yeah. No, well, he used some of it, but no one's ever seen a lot of the things that he's done.
Do you think Harbaugh was having secret meetings with Conner Stallions? Harbaugh didn't know him. Didn't know him.
Never met him. He was given the info to other guys, and then other guys would kick it up and take credit for it like it was their idea.
Correct. And then be like, hey, what do you think about this insight, coach? Don't you like this insight? And then he'd pat them on the head and be like, great job, assistant coach.
I appreciate that. And they never gave credit to Connor Stallions.
I didn't realize, too, that it was great that he started his coaching at Navy because he was in the Naval Academy, and his first game that he ever was on the sideline was against Ohio State, Navy versus Ohio State. I love that.
They were competitive. I love that.
He's doing the signals. I'm going to watch that tonight.
It's very good. I enjoyed it just because it's one of the best college football stories that we'll ever have ever.
Yeah. It was so much fun.
Living through it was so much fun. It was made for memes.
It's an AI. If you think about quantum computing over the next 20 years, if you took whatever AI they have then and then just focused on the craziest message board that you've ever been on, that's essentially what Conor Stallions is.
And he made it all happen. Correct.
Okay, let's do who's back of the week. Then we'll get to Dan Orlowski, talk some NFL.
And then we have the Mount Rushmore duel. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working?
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Henry. My first back of the week is Scotty Scheffler.
Yes. He won golf's biggest event of the year which is done at the worst time of the year when no one cares about golf.
Was that the ending? That was he won like 26 million Winning just that one tournament. But this weekend was the tournament? It's over.
They did it on Labor Day weekend? It was the FedEx Cup, yeah. You remember the trophy? I remember the trophy.
Who could forget the trophy, PFT? But why did they do it? I don't know. There's big breaks in between some of the majors.
They draw it out for this long and then do it on a weekend. That's a holiday weekend when college football is back, and it should have ended on Monday, if anything.
Do it and do it the weekend before. Yeah.
When will people realize you can't compete with football? No. Well, I guess Hank can with golf and bucket hats, but everyone else cannot compete with football.
You can't. Yeah, and just the way it's set up where it's scotty scheffler had a three-stroke lead to start the whole week and it was like you know colin cornmore cower had a better score than him over the three days but because of the the early lead like it didn't matter so what did he win by uh i don't know what he won by but he was he won 25 million so he's won $25 million, so he's won like $60-something million.
It was $62 million, I think I saw. So his caddy has made $6.2 million for being on the man's bag.
That's a lot of money for being on a man's bag. That's crazy.
That's crazy. Max Homa had a good tweet about it because PGA Tour Communications sent this out on August 29th, which was Friday, right? I believe.
They said, Scottie Scheffler cards a 6-under-65 and holds a 7-stroke lead after the first round of the Tour Championship. Scheffler is the first player to hold a lead of 7 strokes or more after 18 holes of a Tour event on record.
And Max Homa said, The Chiefs score 2 touchdowns in the first quarter and lead by 30, a new record. Yeah.
Yeah. It format yeah he uh yeah he won by four strokes i see what you're saying too he he morikawa played better but this weekend but i think it should somehow it should come somehow come down to match play yeah but scotty did deserve the lead because he played better that was his whole thing when they when he was like this is this really decide the champion if I have to play again for something I've already won, basically.
So I get that he should get the lead. Yeah, they should figure that out and play it at a different time.
Okay, good. Who's back, Hank? Thanks.
Golf on college football week one. Yeah, good.
Great. Who's back? We just...
No, we'll move on to real sports. The A-Rate offense is back.
My who's back of the week is Joey Chestnut.
Yes, I'm fine.
A real athlete, Joey Chestnut, is back, baby.
He ate 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
83 hot dogs with no dunking.
He could sip the water.
He competed against Kobayashi.
It was never really a competition after the first, like, two minutes.
He got a lead. He kept the lead.
Kobayashi ended up with, what, 66 dogs? Yeah, it was something like that. He just dominated.
Which is still a good – that's a large amount of hot dogs. Yeah, it's a good day of dogs.
For a man to eat in 10 minutes. Correct.
Probably like the second best. That bout by Kobayashi would put him as being like one of the top five yeah of all time yeah and then chestnut just ate 83 hot dogs in his fucking face yeah 83 hot dogs he got a lead he didn't look at the scoreboard didn't slow down kept building the lead and uh it was god damn it was impressive now it it didn't have the same pageantry at least for me as the fourth of july hot dog hot dog eating contest.
I like it because it's on the 4th of July. I like it because everyone's waving American flags.
I like it because it's outside. So this was in a dome.
And just like in the NFL, if you eat indoors, I'm sure that's a little bit easier, staying out of the sun. I feel a little bit bad for Kobayashi, though.
Why? Because imagine eating 66 hot dogs and feeling like you didn't accomplish what you were trying to do. You got a bag.
You got a bag. But yeah.
Okay. Money aside, eating 66 hot dogs and losing has got to be an all time bad feeling.
Yeah. I think I would normally agree with you if it were like on the 4th of July.
You don't get bags for 4th of July. Yeah, 4th of July, if you're, like, the guy who finishes 3rd, and you're in Coney Island or on Coney Island, you had 50 hot dogs, you came 3rd, no one even remembers you, you're standing there hot, sweaty, that, Kobayashi got a bag.
Got a bag. I'm saying money aside, though.
It stinks that you ate 66 hot dogs. Yeah.
And you're just a loser. Yeah.
Yeah, that does stink. But 83, that's so many fucking hot dogs.
It's unreal. And he'd probably drink after.
Where can he go from there? 84, dude. What's amazing about Joey is he continues to push himself.
Yeah. That's why he's the greatest of all time.
You would need somebody that would come along and put away 90 dogs or 100 dogs to prove to him that he could even eat more, to even believe that it was possible to eat more every time he sits down at a dinner plate he's like fuck it i'm gonna i'm gonna there's no iron sharpening iron for joey he is the iron yes um okay my who's back of the week is uh we should have talked about this with college football um kirk herb street's dog yeah he's back he was back he was in the booth starting some controversy max what do you think a close personal friend of mine yeah you did meet him um the dog i don't know how i want to say what i'm gonna say i like ben a lot i love ben ben's very cute i i do think This got us in trouble before. Yeah, you know what? I'll pass.
I love Ben. I love Ben.
Yeah. Max and I got to see Ben.
Just see Ben. ESPN bringing.
Yeah, it's kind of the same thing. ESPN, like, no one.
Like, if you had a kid that was like a little baby that you would bring on the set. What if I brought my kids to tape every show? I've heard this.
You guys would be like... I'm trying to think where I've heard this.
This would be annoying, right? Who said that? Yeah. Well...
I like Ben a lot. I just wish...
I want Ben to be as happy as possible. I don't know if he's, like, sitting under a desk at a football game.
Loud noises like that might suck for him. But Herbie's a friend, so I'm not going to say anything bad about Ben.
He's an emotional support pet. Yeah, I'm not going to say anything bad about Ben.
I like Ben. I don't like that Herbie has to defend himself online against dog haters.
That's sickening. What did Herbie say? Ben was a controversial figure because he was kept on going into shots during little i broadcast so people were like enough already not me it was the most yeah he was he was right there in between reese and himself right and i kind of had to like almost credit over i think credit to reese yeah reese handled that like a pro yeah it was the worst controversy involving a Booth and a Lincoln that I've ever seen.
Yeah. That was a little bit of a stretch, but I like it.
Yeah, but I was trying to be there. I got in the vicinity of it.
Yeah, you got around there. I like Ben.
I like Ben. I love Ben.
I want to see more of Ben. I would too.
I would like to see more of Ben. I would.
You agree, Hank? Yeah. Yeah.
We like Ben. He's a good boy.
Hank's on none of Ben. I think Ben's a very good boy.
Yeah. Hank didn't see any.
Hank only watched tape on Tyler Van Dyke. That's it.
That's it. He watched every second of Wisconsin, nothing else.
Should have just at least come over and watch it with me Oh well Herb Like fuck it I didn't know they were on I was sitting there Yeah you had to defend him Herb Herb's got like 30 tweets about Ben Yes I told you That's why I brought it up Because Ben was controversial this weekend I like the way this tweet starts Dogs should be playing with other dogs Yeah That was the There was a lot of that. Yeah.
Like, hey, this dog should not be on a private jet or this dog should not be at a loud stadium. I'm more.
What if he got it? What if he got a second dog that he brought up into the booth so that Ben would have a friend? Yeah. Now we've got two.
I like Ben a lot. I'm happy that Herbie gets to be with Ben.
Is there a place Ben could be during the broadcast that he doesn't have to feel? I feel like Ben probably feels like he's getting in the way. I don't want that for Ben.
Would you guys agree? He was just big-biting Reese, though. He literally just walked in the middle of the live shot to start the game.
It was so funny. Yeah.
It was funny seeing his tail. He's a happy dog.
I like Ben. I love Ben.
I love Ben. I give Ben 13 out of 10.
give Ben 13 out of 10 This might be worse than the Taylor Swift stuff I haven't said anything besides I love Ben Is he really Herbstreet's dog? I need to see video evidence Of Herbie booping him I want to see F on N I love Ben Ben's a great dog That's nothing to That's nothing to do with dog. With Ben the dog.
Ben does nothing wrong. He's literally done nothing wrong.
I'm just saying, is there a place he can sleep comfortably and not, like, that floor didn't look comfortable for him. He should have a bed.
Right. Let's get Ben a bed.
But yeah, I had to mention, because when I saw Herbie go, like, he was like 30 tweets deep. Yeah.
Going after the Ben haters. You know you're down bad when you're retweeting Florio.
He did? Yeah. What did he say? Florio said, this is awesome.
Take your dogs wherever you can, whenever you can. Fact.
I agree. I agree.
I disagree with that take, but I love Ben. I disagree with that take.
There are some places dogs shouldn't be because it's not fun for the dog. Chocolate factory.
Yeah, chocolate factory. Fireworks show.
Yeah, agreed with that. There's definitely places where dogs can just be like, they could still be dogs and just be home.
Yep. Yeah, like a mortar exhibit.
At war. Yeah, war.
Yeah. Well, one of them got the guy from ISIS.
He died like a dog. He did die like a dog.
Grape vineyard. Yep, good point.
That could fuck a dog up. Raisin packaging plant.
Yep. Avocados.
Onions. Yep.
Chicken bone place. Dog fighting ring.
Dog fighting ring. Thank you.
Michael Vick's Backyard. There you go, Hank.
Bad News Kennels. These are places dogs should not be, so Florio.
Around Max. Around Max.
No, no. I'm pro-Ben over here.
What have I said a hundred times? You've been in some word that I can't think of right now about Ben. What? Insinuating.
I have not insinuated anything. I said I like Ben.
I think Max doesn't like Ben. This is bullshit.
I love Ben. No, because this is classic projection.
I've said I love Ben more than you. All we've said on this podcast is how much we like Ben and love Ben, and then you're projecting your own thoughts about Ben when you're saying that we're insinuating something.
I just love Ben. I want more content from Ben.
Look, you can't even be happy when he says it. He's basically...
You're lying. I can tell you're lying.
Yeah, you're lying. You guys are lying.
That's your... Wait, you want more content from Ben? Yeah.
Whoa. I think whatever's going on with Ben right now is perfect.
Yeah, you want to push Ben to the limit? He's 10 years old, dude. You're going to make this dog do everything? I want Ben to do whatever Ben wants to do.
You want Ben to be... You want Ben to travel more and fly more years old dude you're gonna make this dog do everything I want Ben to do whatever Ben wants to do you want Ben to be you want Ben to travel more and fly more god you're putting the mileage on Ben load management I don't like you guys okay let's get to our interview with Dan Oloski uh awesome interview talking about the NFL season and then we're gonna do our Mount Rushmore duel duel after that.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, our good friend, Dan Orlovsky. It is week one week, NFL, and we thought no one better than Dan Orlovsky would give us a little season preview, talk some storylines, maybe some picks.
Dan, I want to start here. You're the QB whisperer.
Top 10 quarterbacks going into the 2024 NFL season. I know you got this off the dome.
Yeah, yeah. I thought we were going to talk about Tyler Van Dyke and Phil Longo.
Oh, no.
That's going to be.
All right.
So let's go Mahomes.
In order, I'll try to get into you.
Don't hold me to the order that well.
So Mahomes number 10.
No, Mahomes 10.
We'll go Mahomes one.
Allen two.
Burrow, three.
Okay.
Lamar, four.
Okay.
Five has got to be Stroud.
Six, and I'm assuming, you know, obviously Trent Williams and Iuker there would be Purdy.
Whoa.
Seven would be Stafford
okay
legally you have to do that
yeah
I'm bound by eight would be
man I'm going to forget
somebody that's not going to go over well with some humans
that's why we're doing this
with some humans
I'd probably say Jordan Love
oh wow
nine Tua
Thank you. This is why we're doing this with some humans.
Yeah. I'd probably say Jordan Love.
Oh, wow. Nine Tua.
Ten Rogers. Okay.
So no Jalen Hurts. No Dak.
Yeah. I mean, I would put like the Trevor Lawrence's, Hurts's, Dak, Kirk Cousins.
Herbert. Herbert.
Those guys are right in that like kind of next group. It's kind of why this whole offseason I've been saying to mainly ESPN producers, stop asking me for top five and top ten.
So thanks for that. Because there's so many good ones.
But Hertz is right there, man. But here's the reality with J, because everyone, my wife from Philly, so she gets mad at it.
This is his third offensive coordinator in three years. Most times, guys take some time to acclimate to that.
So I just kind of want to see exactly what he is in Kellen's offense. So about that, because we always say that as a cliche, but how difficult is it actually to go from a different offensive coordinator year to year like is it uh okay this is a tough training camp ots whatever but we're ready to go week one or is it like hey this is two guys speaking a different language that basically have to learn you know get fluent on the fly when the regular season starts yeah totally it's.
It's not necessarily like completely different languages, system to system to system. At times it is.
But I think with the style that they ran in 22, that Jalen ran with Shane Steichen was so unique to them. And the way that they were relatively simple with their formations, but they were like very dynamic in the way that they operated the quarterback run stuff and some of his reads and their pass games and their RPO.
So like that was very unique to them. That wasn't necessarily like the LeFleur Shanahan tree that there's probably a ton of similarities in.
And then last last year it goes to Brian Johnson, who maybe carried over some terminology, but it wasn't nearly as effective. And also like there were terrible versus blitz and whatnot.
So like how different was their terminology, their protections and like the flow of a game? How does he want to start games? How does he handle third downs when we're 0 for 4 to start the game how does he handle uh the philosophy of we just got a turnover a takeaway or we just got a huge play and so he's gone through like one guy in 22 and another guy in 23 and another guy in 24 now with Kellen and it's just how is Kellen gonna call his stuff because Kellen comes from Scott Linehan, really terminology wise. And you had a little bit of like Joe Lombardi and Jim Bob Cooter.
So like, there's a ton of different verbiage that Jay Lynn's had to handle now. And like, to your point, like now it's like just getting a feel for the type of play calls that are coming into your headset situationally.
It's, it's a completely different world in that regard. Yeah.
So among these offensive coordinators, which ones have the craziest play calls, like the longest to remember, longest to say out loud, and which ones have simplified it down to a point where it's just like a couple words? Yeah, the longer ones are the guys that come from the traditional West Coast philosophies. So anybody that usually has an attachment to a Kyle, a Mike Shanahan, a Gary Kubiak, a Sean McVay, those are the wordy ones.
I mean, in many ways, that's why Sean – remember years ago when, you know, the whole – it became the thing where Sean was keeping the headset as long as he can and calling the plays into Jared Goff, and they were at the line of scrimmage. In many many ways it was because the play calls are so long and they were trying to get information from the defensive jared he would just instead of calling 18 to 20 word plays sean took it and shrunk it down to maybe a one or two word code they would get to the line of scrimmage jared could say you know double, double to the offense and then, you know, one word to the receivers and another word to the other receivers and another word to the offensive line.
And he didn't have to memorize it. You know, Sean was telling him it.
He's also kind of telling him what the defenses were. So I think Sean shrunk that down a little bit in those situations.
But anybody that's attached to those old school um offensive systems those are the wordy ones the people that have expedited it are usually the ones that want to play with tempo so like shane steichen has done that um like i just said mcveigh has done that a little bit i think most coaches have the ability to do it it doesn't mean that they do it all the time um but it anybody that's you know attached to that stuff man it's just words on words on words so uh a team that kept their offensive coordinator the detroit lions who are uh got a lot of buzz your detroit lions i had a question about them though because they they were incredible year last year really tough football team Dan Campbell mold are you nervous at all about the Lions
losing i always like to go into the season and think like who did they lose and is that person like an under the radar impactful guy and josh reynolds was that guy for me where it's like he he he went to the broncos they now need jameson williams to finally take that big step to that second receiver. Are you worried at all about their offense losing a guy like Josh Reynolds who maybe not be like get all the headlines, but he's one of those guys who will get those big plays and be a dependable receiver when you need a big play in the fourth quarter? Yeah, it's also different roles and different styles.
Josh is a big bodied guy that was a little bit more of like, you know, a big part of these play action pass centric offenses, which Ben Johnson, their play call runs is like, they want to work the middle of the field. And more often than not, you want to have either a big bodied person and work in the middle field or a person who's like, you've got great toughness, like I'm on raw, you know, and understanding the field.
Jameson is a, he's not this big framed dude, and he's a little bit more of a burner. So just replacing, like, the comfort level of, you know, seeing as a quarterback and you're, like, throwing the ball over the middle field, having a bigger framed person, it just feels more confident throwing the ball into that traffic window.
So I think there's a lot of confidence in Jamison for me. You know, Jamison's got to become certainly like a little bit more of a complete guy and not just that vertical person.
But I always go back to this, like, is their offensive line really awesome? Yes. And if the offensive line continues to be great, it always elevates everybody else.
You know, Harbaugh said it this offseason. That's the only position that's not dependent on someone else.
And that's true, you know. And so I think that when Detroit's offensive line plays to the level that we're kind of accustomed to now, like they dominate.
And so Jared plays better and Amon Ra is better and Laporte is better. And so I don't think there's a regression in detroit the only thing that i have a question on in detroit is the fourth down and going for it last year was such a hot thing and it felt like every time they went for it it worked obviously but the the nfc title game but like are they going to be that aggressive again because like last year i don't want minimize Coach Cam like Dan, but like when you're the hunter, it's a little bit, I feel like more freeing to go forward in those situations.
Now they're the hunted. So you don't want him to tighten up.
So are they going to be as aggressive? And then also like will their success rate on fourth down be as remarkable as it was last year? I think that's more for me than replacing Reynolds type of thing. I think it will be.
I don't think that Dan's going to change the way that he calls things there. I think he's going to be just as aggressive.
And he's calling plays on third down knowing that he's going to go for it on fourth down too. And second down.
That might even have an impact on what he calls on second down. So there are some people at home that are hearing like Josh Reynolds, dependable guy you can go to in the fourth quarter for a big game and he'll get you that catch and they're like uh i i don't know if that's necessarily 100 true all the time um but you've had you've had a uh you've had an interesting take on what's going on in pittsburgh recently so it was supposed to be a quarterback competition right justin fields and and Russie.
Justin Russie. Justin Russie.
Justin Russie. I feel like you're firmly in the camp of, I don't know if you're saying this was not a true quarterback competition or if you're saying that Justin Fields should have won the quarterback competition, but it sounds like you're saying that it shouldn't just be taken for granted that Russ should be the starter based on how he played.
Yeah, so I think, one, Russ didn't play as bad last year.
People made it sound like Russ was absolutely horrific last year.
I kind of thought he played top 12 football or something like that.
It was nothing glamorous.
He was fine.
And just watching this preseason and really only the game that Russ played, it was a tough watch. And I don't get to watch practices and whatnot.
It was a tough watch. So, you know, I go back to when they made the move for both guys, it was like, hey, Russ is in the pole position.
But if it's a true competition, then on August 7th, I think Coach Tomlin in a press conference said, like, no, this is a true competition,
and the games are going to matter more than practices.
So if you just watch the games and you take away the snapped fumbles
for Justin or fumbled snaps, those are going to happen.
I don't know if any quarterback was a complete failure in the NFL
because he couldn't get a snap.
So it's like people, you know, like, oh, my gosh, we can't get snaps.
And then the sacks, the two that happened in the preseason third game weren't on him and so russ is going to take sacks too so it's like if you're pittsburgh and i think tomlin's amazing i'm wearing a shirt like come on standard love that yeah standard is the standard so like are you with russ playing fine at 35 or, really going to contend against Cincinnati and Baltimore in the division? Really? No. So my thing was, if it really was a little bit of a competition, and I think that Coach Tomlin said it was, are they somewhat similar pass game players? Sure.
So it's like, why not just say, you know what? The only real chance we have is if we strike lightning at a bottle with Justin and all of a sudden he puts it a little bit more together in the past game. We give him a little bit more confidence.
We're a much better team than he's had in Chicago. And you kind of did what Philadelphia did in 22 with Jalen and quarterback run.
That's what, you know, kind of what I envisioned I would do. But it just seems like they're going to go with a little bit more of what they think is going to be consistency from Russ.
I just don't think they're going to get it. Yeah.
I mean, Justin Fields in his defense, I saw it after cut day. I think Ryan Poles has maybe five guys or six guys left from the Ryan Pace era.
So that tells you what he was playing with. And that was only a couple years ago.
So it's like he was not dealt the best hand when he was here. This might hurt me, your answer here, but I would like to know, what is the team that is getting a ton of hype that you're not fully bought in on and then the reverse,, a team that is no one's really talking about that.
You're like, this team is going to be a lot better than people realize. Yeah, I'm not going to say the Bears.
I think I do think the Bears are going to be a really, really good football team. You know, like people are saying, I will say this, like, can they win the division? It's like smokes guys like let's just let the let let's let
them get off to a decent start in playing really important games and have a shot in december rather
than are they going to win the division so i do think that talk has gotten a little stretchy i've
been known to strut some conversations myself so um a team that's probably getting talked about too
much that may not be as good as people are saying it's going to be. I will say this.
San Francisco is amazing. I love Kyle.
We actually had McCaffrey on for the Madden reveal thing. I asked him.
I don't think he was happy with the question, but I was like, all right, dude. Two years ago ago, NFC championship game heartbreak last year, Super Bowl heartbreak.
Like what's what do you got to do to finally get it done? And he was like, score more points than the other team. And so I just think it's a real thing with like, can they get back and be the NFC champ or in the NFC championship game and try to replicate what's happened over the last two years.
As much as I love San Francisco and give, I just don't know if I'm banking on that happening again. Like their offensive line without Trent goes to bottom five in the league, you know? And so like that, that team I'm a little bit hesitant on right now, just to kind of see what happens them.
And the team that people probably aren't talking about enough, I'm super high in Atlanta, dude. I really am, man.
I think they're going to be so good. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but the starting quarterback last year got cut from the Cardinals.
Desmond got cut. This was the team that was in it last year, essentially.
I think the offensive line is going to be great. Kirk is Kirk.
Drake London, I think, is a superstar in the making. I think that defense is going to be so good under Raheem.
I think that's a team that no question can win their division. Certainly, if Zach Robinson, who's their play card, comes from the Rams is like any good, I think they're going to be really, really, really good.
I like that. I have not talked about the Falcons.
And Joe, I put a bet on them to win that division. I think I agree with you.
But to be clear, when you say Kirk is Kirk, do you mean that? Is that a good thing? Because now I'm hearing it as a good thing. Yeah, I kirk is like so kirk's gonna probably throw for like 4 000 yards 30 touchdowns 12 picks you know he's gonna have a bunch of big time performances again their weapons are really good so like i'm saying kirk is kirk is in a way where like you can kind of bank on the quarterback play that you're gonna get from him and if they get good quarterback play with their young talent, I just think they're going to be a really, really good, solid football team.
Yeah. That's a good one.
The Falcons. And I tend to agree with you on the 49ers.
It's not that they're not great because they are. It's like a vibes thing.
Like with how close they've been and then all the guys with the contract things, like will the vibes be a little bit off? Hey, it's Rhea from Trix in the Office. It's officially mini-skort season, and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in.
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Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Who else in the NFC, if it's not, you know, Falcons, 49ers, just name them, but who else are you high on in the NFC? Yeah, I think Philadelphia is going to be really good.
I know the conversation with Jalen and Nick Sirianni, and you hear reports of, like, they don't like each other, then you hear reports that they're totally fine. It's like, I don't know.
It's probably somewhere in the middle, but I do think that they're loaded on offense specifically. I think their young talent on defense has got to step up, you know, Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter specifically, but I think they will.
So expect them to be really good. I expect the Rams to be really good.
I think the Rams could have the best offensive line in football maybe. You know, like the interior of their offensive line is freakishly big and dominant.
So I expect – and I think it's going to be like almost – I don't want to say the Denver Broncos back end of Peyton Manning, but I think they're going to run the heck out of the ball and just like, hey, staff, make like five or six throws a game instead of 45 throws a game. So I expect them to be really good.
I think Tampa Bay is going to be a good football team. I favor Atlanta in the division, but I do think Tampa Bay is going to be really good.
I think Seattle has got to – this is a little bit to the point of – I was having this conversation with someone the other day, and they're like, what do you expect? I'm like, I can tell you the teams that I don't think are going to be good, more so than the teams I think aren't going to be good or are going to be. In the NFC, who's going to be bad? Who do we think is going to struggle? I still think Carolina's going to struggle a little bit.
I think the Giants are going to struggle still. That's about it.
I think everyone else is going to be a good, solid football team. Arizona's a little bit unknown, but I think they'll be good too.
It is crazy how the NFC has – the talk has been the AFC because it's got Mahomes, Burrow, Allen, Lamar. Yeah.
The NFC's got, it seems like, some really solid football teams this year that's going to be a really tough way to get out of there. What about the Bills? Yeah, I just – I think the Bills are going to be really good too.
Go ahead. I'm sorry.
I was just going to say, like dovetailing off the 49ers take, the Bills might be in that camp too where we like the Bills. They've a fun team they've been right there for the last several seasons and now they had some contract issues they've got new guys in and it the vibes might be off like the McDermott we have a theory that that coaches sometimes they they just carry the weight from these bad vibes around with them it just becomes a part of them and McD's been through some pretty, pretty tough ones.
And it feels like if you have to try to reinvent yourself every single year and get over those bad vibes, eventually they're going to catch up to you and you're just going to be kind of like, you know, maybe this window's over. But I hope that's not the case in Buffalo.
What do you think about them? Yeah, like sometimes the message just falls on deaf ears at some point and it's blah, blah, blah. So I still think Buffalo is going to be a really good football team.
Obviously, the Milano injury is massive. I think they're trying to replicate what happened in Kansas City post Tyreek with, you know, put a bunch of good people around the quarterback.
Defenses are playing us a certain way. Josh is going to have to play, you know, a little bit of
a catch and throw type of offense. And he's going to have to have the discipline to do that, but the talent to carry when it's necessary.
I had someone say this to me this offseason about Buffalo and they said they knew for like a year or two that this year was going to be the maybe retool rebuild year, just contractually. And they were setting themselves up to like, be aware of that.
And then next year. So the 25 year was going to be the year that they felt they could really go all in again, financially and whatnot.
And so I think we're going to, if that's true, like organizationally, they're aware and ready for maybe not being, you know, the team that, you know, wins 13 games or something or wins the division and probably still has a chance to get into the playoffs. I think, you know, it's a little bit unknown because you've got to see how some of the draft picks like Cole Bishop pans out or whatnot, like Keon Coleman.
I still think they're going to be a playoff football team. I think they're the team to beat in the afc east um but i if what that person kind of said is true like they're ready for maybe not the highs and getting you know gearing into 25 that was always the shame with what has happened and we're obviously very biased for josh allen with the bills and the chiefs is that the chiefs were able to restart their quote-unquote rebuild you're never rebuilding when you have Patrick Mahomes a couple years before the Bills and the Bills were all in and they had this older roster and they weren't able to beat the Chiefs so it's like the Chiefs not only beat them to the rebuild but they're already in a different place we were talking about it yesterday I mean the Chiefs have a chance to to make history and and be the first team to ever win three Super Bowls in a row what what do you think like it's never happened so is there like do you think like hey this team is just that good and Patrick Holmes is that good and they've rebuilt so well on the fly and even getting rid of really good players like Snead I mean is there is it crazy to say like the Chiefs are gonna maybe do this, which is nuts? Oh, not crazy at all.
They're better this year than they were last year, and that's with all due respect to Legereus. Legereus is great, but to your point in comparison to the Buffalo thing, it feels like every Chiefs draft pick has hit.
I don't care if it's the first rounder or the sixth rounder. They been rebuilding this secondary with some like fourth, fifth, sixth round picks that they've just hit on, that they've developed.
And, you know, I don't really expect the defense to take that much of a hit or that much of a drop off in their offense is going to be significantly better, specifically just like speed and catching the football. So I do, they're the're the favorite i if you told me them or the
field i'm taking them i think the two things that are in the conversation if if it doesn't happen obviously they got to figure out left tackle that's going to be a part of it um but like one there's more teams and more ridiculously good quarterbacks now than there were two years ago and last year like Like, and you just have to hope that you catch Patrick on a B or C day. And you're one of the teams that has the quarterback that if you catch him on like a B day and you get your guys, a game, you could beat them.
Now there's just not a lot, but there's more than there has been. Like if the jets catch him on a B day and Rogers is on, you can, they can catch them the same with Buffalo, the same with Cincy, um, the same with Baltimore, the same with Houston.
And that's probably it in the AFC, I would think, you know, and so like you, you, those, one of those five teams, you got to hope that you catch up on an AFC championship game day, like two years ago or three years ago, excuse me, when Cincinnati went. Like they just, Patrick did not play good.
And the second half, he was terrible. You know, they caught him on a B or C day and Joe had a good, good enough game and they go instead of Kansas city.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think the Browns almost caught him in the playoffs a few years ago. Right.
The Browns had a really good game The Chad Henney game Yeah, the Chad Henney game That was with Baker, right? Yeah, Chad Henney had to go in for Patrick and led that long drive And I think he converts fourth and one to Tyreek And the rest is history That is the thing too I don't know if it's very reminiscent of the Patriots Where it's like, I don't think it's luck because they're just coached so well, but they do always have those big plays, the fumble last year with the Ravens, where it's like that's the play of the game. That's where they knock it out on the goal line.
The Chiefs always find a way to make those big plays. Yeah, it's like Tiger Woods back in the day.
Like, oh, you know, we're going into Sunday's round against Tiger at a major championship, and he's one stroke back. You're going to lose.
You know, it's just that feeling of you're going to hit a ball out of bounds on 15 or 16, and he's going to make par. And it's almost like teams are going to have to at some point get over that mental block of, oh, it's Patrick in playoffs like last year remember it was well they gotta go on the road and they obviously went and accomplished that and so yeah it's just really a mental thing for those teams and cincinnati is like the only one that really feels like they've done it and their quarterback has done it yeah yeah so let's talk rookie quarterbacks uh we are heavily invested in this rookie quarterback class on this show.
Yeah, you are. Which can you just give us a rundown? Like what, what can we expect? What is the ceiling and what is the floor on the big, the first round rookie quarterbacks? Yeah.
I won't touch JJ obviously, cause he's not playing the season for Minnesota, but I mean, Caleb is remarkably talented. Caleb is as talented physically as a quarterback that's come into the league, both in the ability to throw the ball and athleticism as many of them.
The names that when you just say physical talent are Andrew Luck and Lamar Jackson. I'm not saying to do it in Kansas City because I've kind of made a promise that I'm not going to do that type of stuff.
But like he's got that type of physical gift, that that combo of like, oh, you were born to throw and you throw differently than a lot of other human beings on the planet. But you move differently than a lot of other people as well.
And so, you know, I think that like if they can stay healthy and those,
especially Keenan,
Keenan's got to stay healthy because I think he's a really big deal when it
comes to a super physically talented quarterback like if you have a guy that is can get open quickly and be a possession person it helps you play a little bit more boring it helps you get the ball to your hands quickly because he's capable of doing stuff with it that um in consistency uh Rome's got to obviously play like a top 10 pick. So I think physical talent is remarkable.
The thing with Caleb that, you know, is like one, and every young talented dude goes through this, like he's going to have to learn what he can and can't do and when he should and shouldn't. You know, like at USC, he had to hit him on every play because his defense was god-awful.
There might be games when you just don't have it and your defense is balling. And, like, you might have to take a couple more checkdowns or sacks will matter.
And so, like, is he able to figure out that balance of, like, when to go chase the splashy play and when to be like, no, no, no, this is the NFL and I'm on the road
versus Jordan Love. And, and, you know, it's God awful weather.
And really the most important thing
is me not hurting our football team rather than, you know, chasing points. But I still think he's
got a chance to have a really good season. Jaden, I'm a huge fan of, I think Jaden, you know,
the number one quality throwing the ball in the NFL is where you could throw it. And can you throw it away from other defenders? I think Jaden does it better than anybody in the class.
And I think his experience at LSU and really learning, like he had to handle a lot of motion, a lot of formation, a lot of protection that bodes well for him in the NFL. You know, I want to see what Cliff does with their offense.
Cliff's offense is a little bit more standstill centric. Hey, dude, just go get open or get to space.
That's contrary to what Jaden did at LSU. But I still think he throws it remarkably clean and like has a complete control and understanding of windows opening and closing.
And that's, again, a big part of what they did at LSU. he's got to learn to stay healthy in this league and when he takes some shots and when he's not supposed to.
But I just think he's so good in the pocket as well, and his pace and feel in the pocket of Washington's offensive line is solid. I think they're going to be pretty darn good on offense.
Drake May development so far has been awesome. For me, I've always said the Jordan Love model.
I wouldn't play him this year. I think New England's offensive line.
I think rookies need three things. Plus, scheme and play caller.
Alex Van Pelt is there. Don't know a ton about him.
I know his scheme is a little bit LaFleur's and Stefanski's. I think it's his first time in a long time call and play.
So, like, that's to be seen. They need plus offensive line, plus skill.
They don't have plus offensive line or plus skill players so I want to play him but not in meaningful games maybe at the end of like November or December but I do think he's shown the development with his mechanics that like you're super excited about uh Penix I don't expect to play um but the brief time we saw him like he looked ready he looked he looked like he. And then Bo Nix really, like, I remember when Brock started playing in San Francisco and you were like, huh, like, you saw that the right way.
Or, man, that ball came out quickly. Or, yep, that's where the ball's supposed to go versus that defense.
And, like, Bo had a little bit of that in preseason. Now it was vanilla stuff and whatnot.
And, you know, they're not nearly as talented on the perimeter. But I am intrigued a little bit more than I thought I would be by Bo in Denver as well.
So I think all of them got a chance to get off the decent starts. Yeah.
Is it a possibility, however remote, that Kirk Cousins comes back and he tries to play and he's clearly not fully recovered? Because that's a serious injury for somebody that's his age, right? And maybe he struggles right off the bat, and maybe they put Penn in and if pennix doesn't struggle then you've got kirk cousins on a brand new contract two years guaranteed at least and they just have to go with pennix because he looks good um so i think that the chances of him coming back and maybe the injury impacting like i would say a lot of different styled quarterbacks maybe like kirk's a statue, you know, he, Kirk's going to put his back foot in the ground. He's going to see the defense.
He's going to cut it loose. Like, so I don't think the movement element is like that big a deal for him, you know? So I'm, I have no idea how long it takes or what it feels like.
I've never done that. Thank God.
Uh, so like, I would expect him to be kind of the version of himself. And now if he struggles and whatnot, then it obviously could become noisy because the expectations, I think, are relatively high.
And Michael is older and played a ton of snaps. But I just don't expect Kirk to struggle.
I don't know the last time Kirk didn't play well. And I don't think the Achilles is going to be the reason why that he didn't play well really over a consistent period of time.
Hypothetically, something happens. Kirk isn't playing well.
Michael's got to play and plays really good. Yeah, you're playing the young kid.
There's no question about it. And then you're just figuring out the cousin situation after that.
I got to – so this is an interesting season because I think we have a lot of really good coaches that are not on the hot seat, so to speak, but they're in the category of they got to win a playoff game. Like Mike McDaniel, Mike Tomlin, Mike McCarthy.
I guess it's all the Mikes. All the Mikes.
Yeah. Do you think that there is something to that? Like, if the Dolphins don't win a playoff game, they have a great offense all year, and then they just do the same thing where they have a no-show in a cold-weather environment.
What starts to become the vibe with something like that, where it's like you know you have a good coach, but you've got to win a playoff game at some point? Yeah. I don't think there's any chance that Mike McDaniel is in jeopardy at all.
Right. I get your point.
Yeah. I just think with the way the team is built right now, the makeup of the team personnel-wise, what they've done with Tua, what he's done with Tua.
I think also sometimes last year they were the one seed, and then they just got the Baltimore Raven syndrome of injuries. Remember that two- or three-year stretch stretch where the Ravens were awesome.
And then all it felt like,
Oh my gosh,
the whole team got hurt.
Like that's what happened with Miami.
I think Miami situation is tough this year, just because like they got to wait until about halfway through the season
until everyone kind of gets healthy.
Jalen Phillips and,
you know,
Chubb and some of their offensive line pieces.
And they're back.
Like they're,
I don't know.
You guys have checked it out.
Their last eight or 10 games are absolutely brutal.
Like,
Thank you. some of their offensive line pieces and they're back.
Like they're, I don't know if you guys have checked it out. Their last eight or 10 games are absolutely brutal.
Like if they're not firing on all cylinders,
their final eight could be a nugget.
Like their,
their schedule is that hard.
Like they go to Buffalo to New York.
I think they're up in like maybe Baltimore,
like their last eight games are brutal.
So I just don't think Mike's at risk because of everything that's happened for that organization mccarthy we all know like they're gonna have to they're gonna have to play well and win a meaningful playoff game versus like a good team for it to matter you know like i go back to the two years ago win versus the bucks like the bucks were terrible that year anybody was going to beat them um mike mcdaniel mike mcc Mike McCarthy, and who was the other Mike? Mike Tomlin. Mike Tomlin hasn't won a playoff game since 2016.
He just signed a new contract. Again, this is not hot seat.
I don't think there's no world that Mike McDaniel gets fired. But it's more like preemptive, hey, you guys got to do something here.
The Cowboys got to do something. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah., it's fair.
That's, you know, the Tomlin one is probably a fair one. You constantly hear that over the past couple years too.
And that's a little bit why, like, let's live in the world where the Steelers and Russ, Russ plays fine. They win.
They go 9-8, 10-7. They don't get in or they get in and lose.
Like, what do next march then right you're gonna be picking 20 are you gonna pay russ 40 50 60 million dollars so what do they do at quarterback again so i think that's a little bit attached to the whole tomlin situation but i just don't see i get your point with the whole like it gets really loud conversation right out there uh but maybe not specifically hot seat stuff. I'm trying to think if there's anybody else that you can kind of put in that category.
I think Doug Peterson in Jacksonville is fine. Yes, Sirianni would definitely be in that category.
I think Sirianni is like mid-October. Right.
I think Sean McDermott, who I like, is in that category where, you know, I know there's a transition year, but if it's a transition year and they're resetting, that might be the part of the reset. Robert Salah maybe? Yeah, there's these guys who I think are good coaches and a lot of teams would want, but it's very interesting because it's actually, when you look at it, it's a Patrick Patrick Mahomes problem Patrick Mahomes ruins everyone else because he sucks up all the wins and the Super Bowls that then you have all these really good coaches it's like well you can't win the big one well no it's because Patrick Mahomes is Patrick Mahomes yeah it's the it's the Belichick Brady thing like I remember when I first got started in TV like I don't, one of the things that I was super passionate about was trying to get people to understand, like there were other great coaches outside of Bill Belichick, even though he, he wins like every game he coaches in and they only are the only team that's been the same with quarterback.
Like, yo, there's other great quarterbacks outside of Tom. And we're kind of in that world with Kansas city and Patrick.
It's like, if you're not Andy Reed, let's fire our coach.
Right.
Like,
no,
your coach is great.
And if you're not Patrick Holmes,
like you suck,
Josh Allen sucks.
And Joe Burrow sucks.
And Lamar's.
So we are in that world a little bit where like,
if you just fall short to,
you know,
those hall of famers in a way it's,
but I do think it's not,
I don't want to say it's fair.
It's just the reality of life in the NFL,
you know?
And it's,
it's like,
if you are good and the expectations constantly rise and you're not meeting those rising expectations like you're you're going to be moved on from because the patience just isn't a thing in that league yeah we need to start an updated list of guys that got fired indirectly because of Patrick because Patrick he's yeah he's killing job yeah he because it is it's true like he is going to get like if Sean McDonough I'm jokingly say it all the time like I always be like yo this is Patrick's fault like this is Mahomes' fault like it we we can blame Patrick for this like why is this quarterback gonna get drafted in the top five because it's Patrick like everybody wants Patrick he's he's he on our show is when you have a Hall of Fame guy, and it goes back to Brady, where their last level of being like one of the greatest is they become a thief of joy. So like you can go to like around the league and like, oh, yeah, Tom Brady was a thief of joy.
Yes ask a 49ers fan, Patrick Mahomes is a thief of joy.
Like he's taking joy away from you.
I'll never say this to him.
I'll never say this to him because I'm a huge fan of his.
I have a son who can't stand him.
Oh.
Hates.
What team does he root for?
He's an Eagles fan.
Okay, so that makes sense.
He's a thief of joy.
He stole the Eagles joy. Yeah.
Hates him. Hates him.
like oh patrick holmes you know he gets he gets all the breaks i'm like no he's just the best player on the planet dude but and i would never say it to patrick probably words you're gonna get back to him type thing but um yeah i got one he's like my home sucks i'd be like oh my gosh dude you know what you know what's really sad though is at least for me i think big cap might feel the same way. I would love to be good enough to have Patrick Mahomes steal my joy.
I aspire to getting my dreams crushed by Patrick Mahomes. So I got a fun thought experiment for you, Dan.
So we're talking about the Chiefs and how great Patrick Mahomes is. Andy Reid, obviously great offensive coach.
They've got some interesting weapons there. If it was the Super Bowl and you were on the Chiefs right now, Dan Orlovsky signed by the Chiefs to be the backup quarterback, and the Chiefs were up, let's say, 50 to 20 at halftime.
Patrick Mahomes has uncontrollable diarrhea. He can't come out and play the second half.
And they're like, Dan, you've got to step in there. You've got to be quarterback.
Right now, do you think that you could hold off a 30-point lead in the Super Bowl? Oh, absolutely. We're going to Disney World.
That's easy, for sure. You think so? Absolutely.
Now, your defense gave up 20 points in the first half. Yeah.
No, we're fine, dude. I could waste time in and out of the huddle.
I could get the ball to my hands quickly to Travis, Probably make one or two throws down the field. I would live in the Ryan Fitzpatrick world.
That's what I would live in. Like, hey, dude, this ball's getting chucked.
It might get picked off here or there, but I'm also going to make some big time throws. Make all your interceptions deep balls.
That way it's like a punt. They don't even count.
What would be the points we would have to have?
As a Chiefs person?
What do we got to score? No, no, no. What would we if we were quarterback?
Oh. To not blow it.
Either of you guys were
quarterback because I saw some of the
competitions over the summer boys.
Well, we're swimmers. We're swimmers.
You can't take that away from us.
I saw the talk.
You guys would have to have
probably a 45-point lead for us to feel good about it. I think that's a little bit disrespectful.
Yeah, because we could just hand it off. I mean, I'm thinking the other team is going to get six possessions naturally, maybe five, and you're going to give them another three or four.
They just go 11 in the box? Yeah, they just stack them. Can we go under center at all with you two, or does it have to be in the guy? Yeah, I'll go under center.
Yeah, we might trip and fumble, but we can go under center. I'm short enough.
I wouldn't have to even bend down. How tall are you? I'm 5'8".
Yo, PFD as a QB sneak would kind of be a weapon. Yeah, I would be.
I'd just do the tush push. Yeah.
Just get me. I'll get in that guy's ass.
It's a good hypothetical. It's a football term, yeah.
Yeah, it's a football term. Listen, I would go like six points of contact on the ball.
I would run like Mike Allstott. I would be the only quarterback to ever have a cowboy collar, and I'd have the neck roll.
And a Q collar. Yeah, just be like, give me the ball.
You need one yard, I'll get you a yard. You need three yards, I'll get you a yard.
Yeah, you would probably look like Field Yates did at the fantasy thing this past weekend. That was tough.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to tackle an inflatable dummy. Yeah.
On sand, too. On sand.
Yeah. Really bad.
I guess on one hand, you could be impressed that he was moving fast enough to land hard enough to dislocate it. But that's a tough look.
I got a couple last questions for you, Dan. This has been awesome.
Give us your conference finals and your Super Bowl. AFC championship game.
I'm going to go the Kansas City Chiefs,
and I'm going to say the New York Jets.
All right, so you're not a Florida.
Are you not high on the Bengals at all this year?
I think there's the bounce back here.
No, I totally am.
Okay.
I totally am.
I just think it feels like everything always goes against the Jets,
and yes, last year was such a disaster.
I'm banking on a little bit of good karma coming their way type of thing. But I think this Cincinnati team is going to be fantastic.
I've got to see what happens with Jamar, right? Like, you know, what happens with Jamar. And then the NFC, I'll go Detroit and I'll go Detroit and the Los Angeles Rams.
I like that. Repeat.
Yeah. Okay.
And then Super Bowl? I'll say Kansas City and Detroit. That would be great.
That would be – I mean Detroit. And what happens? And Patrick Holmes steals the coin.
Should we just not ask you what happens? Would it be better if you didn't say what happened in that Super Bowl? No, because any time, like the great thing about being in TV is the only time that people care is when you're right. So, like, if you say, it's like taking 35 jump shots.
Yeah. You know, like, eventually a bunch of them will go in.
What happens in the Super Bowl? Kansas City wins. Brutal.
Which is incredible. Somehow, some way.
Yeah. Somehow, some way Patrick, you know, has the ball ball last type of thing like usual And finds a way to make some stupid throw And Kelsey makes a play You mentioned the Rams Being the NFC championship game And their run game I painted a picture yesterday I'm a big visualization Guy when it comes to my betting And I said Matt Stafford MVP is not a bad price because he's never been fully in the MVP discussion.
It might be one of those. It's all about narratives, and if the Rams are really good, the one or two seed, he could be the MVP.
Do you think he'll throw enough, though? Yeah, I do. I mean, and I think, like, their play-action game this year, I expect to be so good, you know, because of the offensive line, those two backs that they have, and then, like, just how they're going to build their pass game.
You know, I think offensively the chunks are going to be such a big deal. So, again, I don't think the majority of their offense is going to be Stafford throwing it for, I don't know, 800 attempts type of thing.
But I do think he's going to put up really big numbers and yardage touchdown wise will be extremely high. So I don't hate the Stafford MVP conversation.
I don't know if being LA minimizes that because it's not like a, I guess like a massive NFL market. But I still think they'll throw up plenty with Sean and him.
Okay. Yeah.
I mean, the NFL office is like the media office is in Los Angeles. So don't they share, do they share a building? Are they share some of the facilities with the Rams? I think the Rams facilities are on Thousand Oakstone like trailers.
Yeah. thought that they were moving, though, because we were there a couple years ago.
They've been moving for like five years. Yeah.
I don't know if they have yet, though. All right, so the other LA team, I just want to hear you say what you think Harbaugh is going to do, because we're very high on Harbaugh.
We love Harbaugh. He told us, what, don't bet against us, which inspired me to, in fact, not bet against them.
So I feel like, I don't know, the Chargers, they had a rough season last year. Things were way up in the air for them.
But I feel like Harbaugh is going to fix a lot of stuff, even year one. I agree with that.
It's just at some point this league talent does matter, and I just don't know how talented they are in the perimeter offensively. Justin's going to be playing hurt so how much can he manage the pain with the whole plantar fasciitis thing and I think their offensive line is going to be a good unit and they'll try to control the ball and get into good situations but like if Ladd McConkie is the guy and it's really like the only guy on the perimeter that is is concerning because at the end of the day, like I said, like in their division, the Raiders are going to have a
really good defense.
The Chiefs have a really good defense.
The Broncos, I think, are going to be solid on defense, especially with Sertan.
So I do think the Chargers are like a much more competent football team this year at
the end of the day.
But you got to have guys on the outside to really, really, really matter.
And unless Quinton Johnston, their second year kid from TCU, like takes that jump and
Thank you. year at the end of the day but you you gotta have guys on the outside to really really really matter and unless Quinton Johnston their second year kid from TCU like takes that jump and consistently catches the football they're just not going to be and so um I do think they'll be improved I don't think they'll be good enough talent wise on the outside to really really matter yeah okay uh lastated T for team.
My name is Paul Heyman.
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I really just been staring at it. For people who are just listeners,
it's a for people who are just listeners it's dan orlovsky and all of his uh jerseys in the nfl playing and a huge american flag behind it and a huge nfl logo and he's pointing at us uh please tell me someone gifted that to you and you didn't commission that. All right, so 100% a gift.
Okay, good. So do you remember the dude Chris Myers used to play center for the Texans? Mm-hmm.
Yes. Like on all time, like one of the best centers of his generation.
So I've known him for a long time. Long story short, we played together in Houston.
We moved to both our wives from Philly area um they were building a house he made a lot more money than i did so they were building a house we had bought they already built a house um and so like i was playing still and their family needed a place to stay for a couple months so they stayed at our home while they were kind of like waiting for their house so this was like his thank you gift him or to me um and so like yeah it's just their shine to myself that I thought would be a good background. The best is this.
The best is this. So the Texans won.
That's where I played with Chris. The Texans won.
I played a little bit down there, but not a ton. Like, Schaub somehow went from the most injured quarterback ever to the least injured quarterback ever when I was down there the Lions won I think that's the year from Logan 16 I don't know if I played in a regular season snap in Tampa Bay I don't know if I did so like that would technically be from the preseason actually my chin straps unbuckled so at 100%% is.
And then this is me to everybody on social media, the indie one. Pointing, yeah.
Yeah. Shut up! It's quite something.
I like it. And the American flag in the background is a nice touch, too.
You did all that for our country. Yeah.
Thank you for your service. Yeah.
There's a lot. Me and the military, same level type stuff.
No, I'm joking. Yeah.
All right, well, Dan, thank you as always. We'll have you back on this football season.
We're just so pumped for football to be back. So you're the best.
Yeah. And hopefully all of our predictions come true.
I appreciate you guys. Always fun to be on.
All right. Thanks, Dan.
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I clinched two weeks ago.
And we don't know who's going to have to do it. No, PFT almost came in second.
Well, if you look at the final standings, Hank and I were pretty close to Big Cat, actually.
That's true.
But you weren't.
Yeah.
Well, we weren't at your level.
I just want to say congrats to the AWLs.
You guys did a great job on the poll on Friday.
Yes.
Absolutely master class.
So hats off to you guys.
I'm enjoying this duel. Yeah.
So we've never done a duel before. So we thought the.
Oh, it has. No, it actually did.
It started. Yeah, it did start.
So yeah, PFT did. It will probably be in the PMTV.
PFT won longest drive. So he is going to go first on the first Mount Rushmore and the third Mount Rushmore.
It will not be snake. It will be one and one, back and forth.
The duel is going to work because we've never done a duel before, and we figured the best way to do this, the fairest way to do it, is we're going to have blind polls, truly blind polls. So we're going to put the polls out before the episode's out.
So if you're listening to this, you've already voted, and it's already been decided. These guys don't know.
We're going to show the polling after. When are we going to announce who won? At the end of the show.
No, but when are we going to announce to the world who won? At the end of the show. So as of tomorrow morning, it's fair game for us to talk about.
They'll know. They'll know and they'll hear us at the end of the show.
We're going to pull up the blind polls. It's basically live.
We're going to do the Mount Rushmore and put the polls up right after. Not going to look at it.
So we'll be surprised when we look at the results. No internet.
Pen and paper. Pen and paper.
You guys each have a minute when the Mount Rushmore topic has been announced. Max, Memes, and I have discussed.
We've come up with three Mount Rushmores that we think are very fair. Now, did one of you each pick one or did you pick all three? We threw out a bunch of different topics and then we whittled it down and we figured, let's come up with a topic.
Basically, our criteria was we want Mount Rushmore's that won't burn other Mount Rushmore's. We want Mount Rushmore's that will have some good options.
And then we want a Mount Rushmore that will make you think. So there's that uh i would say are going to be a little bit easier and then the third will be somewhat difficult but you guys will have exactly level playing field on all three of these mount rushmores i'm excited this is good stuff this is exciting okay this is good stuff all right so the first mount rushmore you have one minute the mount rushmore of guitar solos.
No, I'm just kidding. That was a joke.
I started to write Freebird. I was thinking we had just done like so, so slick.
Do you just want to do that? The Mount Rushmore of breakfast taco places in Austin. Tyson's.
All right, the first Mount Rushmore that you guys will be competing against. The clock is up.
The Mount Rushmore of HBO shows. PFT has first pick here.
So they're going to have a minute. Max, would you like to discuss? This is thrilling.
They're writing down. I just put up a minute on the computer that everyone can see so everyone knows how much time that they have.
Yep. Who do you think has the edge in this one? I actually don't know.
I don't know. I think Hank thinks that he has the edge, but he probably will end up not having the edge.
Yeah. I mean, they both have watched a lot of HBO shows.
Everyone has. And this is kind of...
We picked this one specifically because it is is really like it's going to be tough to see the voting i don't think people will be able to figure out who's picking what uh it's going to be great and remember you really only need like 15 seconds eight shows that you can think of because there's only eight picks. 15 seconds, nine, 10 seconds.
Five, four, three, two, one. Pens down.
PFT, you have the first selection on the Mount Rushmore of HBO shows to start off the Mount Rushmore duel. I'm going to take the meatballs of this draft.
I'm going to go with The Sopranos. Great pick.
1-1. Great pick.
And Max, we can editorialize because it won't affect the voting whatsoever. So we can talk about it.
That's a good pick. We can have a free flowing discussion.
Sopranos is maybe it's in the argument for the best TV show of all time. I agree.
It's a clear 1-1. But here's where it gets interesting.
And it's very funny. It's such a a funny show there's some really good hbo shows so i love the soprano it's one of my favorite shows i think we can all agree it was heartbreaking when tony killed christopher and uh when um what's his name who's the guy that got phil leotardo got run over by the car right yes he got squished and bobby got shot in the train store the model train store yes that was It's tough to stomach.
Literally. I think you're a big Janus fan, right?
You guys ruined that show for me. You ruined it for thousands of AWLs.
You guys should be sickened about the things that you've done to people. But for some reason, you enjoy it.
And that's all right. Okay.
So I didn't get to fully enjoy The Sopranos. I have fully enjoyed this show.
I've seen it a million times. I don't think it's the sexiest pick, but it really is my favorite show ever made.
It's The Wire. Ooh.
Good pick. Okay.
I had The Wire as a round three pick. Yeah, it's a good pick.
It's a great show. It might date yourself a little bit, but that's okay.
Yeah. You'll get the dues vote.
Yeah. Yeah, Jason Whitlock's going to vote for you.
Mm-hmm. Okay.
He only votes for winners.
Okay, PFT, your pick is up.
I'm going to go Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Great pick.
Easy number two pick for me.
Great pick.
One of the funniest shows of all time.
If we had the live odds right now, PFT would be up 70%.
See, there's a show that I think I enjoy more than Curb.
It's Eastbound and Down.
Oh, great pick. Didn't see that one coming.
I feel like that might have been a reach. It's another good pick.
It's a definite reach. It's a great show.
Listen, I love Kenny Powers. Funny stuff.
It was a great, what, three seasons? Was it three seasons? I think it was more than that. Well, I only watched three because then it started to fall off.
There's some good picks out there. All right.
I'm going to go Game of Thrones.
I mean, Game of Thrones, it was a cultural phenomenon.
You can say what you want about the last season of Game of Thrones.
Are you worried at all that people will think that that was Hank's pick?
No, I think they're going to say this is a person that knows TV.
That could have, to the voters, they might think it was Hank's pick.
I can't believe Hank liked that. I'm a football guy through and through i'm gonna go hard knocks wow so before we started hank said that one of his strategies he might use is trying to muddy the water where people he he believes the awls will vote for pft and he thinks that they'll vote for pft no matter what and and if he muddies the waters enough, they'll vote for him,
thinking he's PFT.
Having eastbound and down, hard knocks, and what was your first pick?
The wire.
I think having the wire and hard knocks has done a pretty good job of that.
Eastbound and down, I don't think so.
He muddied this.
Oh, my God.
PFT, you got to just go with the banger.
All right, so you have hard Knocks as your third pick.
He smiled.
Look at him smile.
Yeah.
Look at him smile.
Now, see, the problem with this is-
You know Game of Thrones is my favorite show.
Yeah, everyone knows that.
It's hard to think of it right off the top of your head
because there's a lot of shows that I want to say, like,
are these HBO shows or not?
And I can't remember, especially some of the more recent ones out there. So, your pick.
It's going to be one of the weird ones. I can't stop it.
This is going to be a weird PFT one. And I can't think.
Real sex. I'm going to take real sex.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Both fucking just puking all over the time. Real sex.
It was great. This is a true person.
Now people won't know which one's BFT. Oh, my God.
Real sex. Have you ever watched an episode of jerked off to it yeah i've jacked off there was hundreds of times that one episode they kept on playing where it was just like porn stars uh fucking uh like dildos and they just showed it all yeah it was awesome this is enlightening yeah hey he's stunned he kind of just got you there because like you were going PFT and then he went full Pening.
Yeah. Hank is stunned.
He kind of just got you there. Because you were going PFT, and then he went full PFT.
Yeah. Real sex.
But it was a horrible pick. It was.
Have you ever seen real sex, Hank? No. But if the AWLs are voting for PFT, they'll see real sex, and they'll be like, that's PFT.
I had to do it. They will.
He just pissed all over his Mount Rushmore. No, because they're going to see Game of Thrones and be like that's pft i had to do it they will he just put he just pissed all over his mount rushmore no because they're gonna see they're gonna see game of thrones and be like hank and then hank also had the worst pick of all now what they're what they're here's what here's how they're gonna see it i know exactly how the graphics gonna look they're gonna see the sopranos and then they're gonna see curb on there and be like that team dominated then they're gonna try to look to see who had the weirder picks but they're not really gonna to care because it's going to be the sopranos and curb your enthusiasm carrying my team to a championship okay so hank you have your last pick yeah you're probably right with that uh ollie g show wow you guys so.
So Shane's listening to this.
He's making the graphic right now.
Now, I know it's hard because you've got to think off your head.
Yeah.
The fact that no one picked Succession would have been.
See, that's the one I forgot.
I wasn't 100% sure that it was HBO.
Yeah.
I thought that there was a chance.
That would have been a dynamite pick in the third or fourth draft.
I thought in the back of my head there's a chance that this is an Apple Plus show. Yeah, because that would have been recency bias.
Everyone voting for it. Casey would have voted for it with a Chinese farm factory.
Well, because she was in it. Yep.
Entourage also played. Entourage.
Oh, Entourage. Entourage.
Veep. Veep is another one.
The fact that fucking Eastbound and Down went before Entourage. Yeah.
Yeah. Listen, those are three huge misses.
But it's not so easy to do in one minute when you just have to think about it with no internet and just write everything down. Yeah.
Band of Brothers would have been a good one. Band of Brothers was a good one.
Band of Brothers was a really good one that was missed. Veep.
I love Veep. I think it's one of the funniest shows.
Thought that could have been a different network. You thought that one might have been different? Yeah.
Sex and the City I also thought about taking just because it was a big show. I never watched it.
Yeah, Mayor of Easttown, not really well known. That's a good one.
White Lotus, The Jinx. I thought Rose did it the entire time.
I still think. Euphoria could have locked up gen gen Zers.
Your first three were so strong. I know.
Thank you. They were so strong.
Okay. I feel very good about that.
So if I'm putting odds on that, I think I got minus it's me minus two 50. I'd agree with that.
Yeah, I agree. I think, I think, I think Hank's in trouble.
Yeah. Hank might be in trouble.
All right. So Hank is going first in this next Mount Rushmore.
Again, we're posting these polls live, so at the end we're going to see who won all of these. So is that one up? No, it's going to be up at 8 o'clock.
This one is going to be very interesting. Very interesting.
Very interesting. Very interesting after what we just saw.
If he's going first and he's trying to muddy the water here, this one is going to be, Hank is going to have to do some thinking with what he wants to do. You guys would be great hosting Squid Games.
You sickos fucking love it. No, we really, when we thought about which three, we're like, because we knew HBO would be like, there's so many options and there'd be some misses and there'd be some really good picks.
But this one, Hank, you might outsmart yourself. Probably.
We are going to do the second Mount Rushmore and the Mount Rushmore of duels is the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks. You have one minute.
This is going to be great. I'm going to miss the time of not dueling.
I know.
I'm obsessed with duels.
I've been wanting this moment for so long,
and the fact that it's here,
and Hank just shit on himself.
Next year, we might have to just change Mount Rushmore season
where it's like an actual schedule of duels.
We just need duels.
Yeah, like everyone plays everyone twice.
We just duel each other constantly oh i'm so excited to see where this goes yeah this is gonna be and hank having the first pick in this one is great that's very interesting that's the content gods just coming through for us i think knows he's got one in the bag so he can maybe get freaky with this one and try to reverse it on Hank. Ten seconds.
Okay. Ten seconds.
Hank, you have the first pick. Five, four, three, two, one.
Pens down. We can still keep thinking.
Of course. Yeah.
Of course you can still keep writing. But now it's go time.
Now it's go time.
Henry, your first pick on the Mount Rushmore of quarterbacks.
Tom Brady.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
We don't.
I mean, there was a chance.
I could never live with myself.
I can never live with myself.
We didn't know, obviously, the order.
So we couldn't have even planned that, that Hank would have to go first on that one while also trying to be pft yeah okay i gotta go um hank's gonna win this one i can tell you the way that this draft is gonna shake out his team is gonna be stronger top to bottom than mine so i'm going to go with the man tom Brady passed. Joe Montana.
Okay. Okay.
Congratulations, Hank.
Henry. Your pick.
See, Hank kind of only knows to. Yeah, it's true.
I'll rush more of quarterback. Matt Kassler.
He just went all for that one season. So much time.
Yeah, come on. Just make your pick Patrick Mahomes If you passed on that Hank I was screaming at memes Thinking that you were going to pass Because you also just locked up You just made a huge conglomerate Of Mahomes and Brady fans have to vote for that side.
That was smart.
Because if he got Mahomes, then it becomes like an MJ LeBron thing
and you fucked yourself.
I was debating Mahomes or Montana with my first pick.
You should have gone Mahomes.
It's the pick for, if you want, people who are probably voting in this poll.
Correct.
Yeah.
All right, so then I'm going to go with Peyton Manning.
Okay.
Good pick. Correct.
Yeah. All right.
So then I'm going to go with Peyton Manning. Okay.
Good pick.
Henry.
Name a quarterback,
not name Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes.
We should have put a shot clock on.
Can he do it?
Can he do it?
Folks, can he do it? Can he do it?
Can he do it right now? For people who are listening on podcast right now. Say a quarterback's name.
This is Billy on the Street. Aaron Rodgers.
Oh. Whoa.
Whoa. Interesting.
How many Super Bowls? One of his Super Bowl? Some say the greatest quarterback of all time. Literally no one.
I said some. No, but I'm- I fall into that some.
You think he's the greatest quarterback of all time, Beams? Right now, yes. No, no, no, no.
You think he's the greatest quarterback of all time? Yeah. 100%.
That's what you actually think? Yep. Playing ability.
He's a stud. Okay.
You want to muddy the waters in the first one? Oh, no. Let's muddy the fucking waters.
Joe Flacco, put it on the list. Oh, shit.
That's tough. No, Hank, you just...
I mean, Hank, you have this. I got to play defense now.
He's playing defense. You have this.
I thought you were going to say Danny Woodhead that one time he threw a pass.
John Elway.
Oh, good pick.
Good pick, Hank.
All right.
You're playing it straight.
You're back.
That was a good fourth round pick.
I think we got a 1-1.
I think we got a 1-1 as well.
All right.
So I'm going to go with Troy Aikman.
Okay.
Okay.
Dan Marino would have probably played well on the game.
Yeah, but I just got done talking shit about Aaron Rodgers winning one Super Bowl. So that would have been tough for me.
Big man. Throw him up there.
Jameis. I was thinking about – if you didn't pick Flacco, I was thinking about doing that to muddy it.
Well, I'm just going to hope and pray on that one. All right, so your four, Hank, were Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, and and John Elway your four were Peyton Manning
Joe Montana Montana
Joe Flacco Troy
that's got to be me it has to
be you yeah well we'll see
I would be doing some nasty
work if I if you didn't win that one
if I had to do one thing over that I would have
taken Patrick Mahomes
over Joe Montana but I think that Joe
Montana does belong on that list ahead
of Pat but I think I wasn't thinking about the
second yeah I could get I don't think I
Thank you. taken Patrick Mahomes over Joe Montana, but I think that Joe Montana does belong on that list ahead of Patrick Mahomes right now.
I wasn't thinking about the vote. But I think you get Montana in the second.
Yeah, I could get Montana. I don't think Hank's picking Montana.
I think he would have. Yeah.
Okay. Because he only...
Oh, I would have picked Peyton Manning. No, he only knows about Montana because Tom Brady broke all his records.
Yeah. All right.
This is a tough one. This is...
We've made it so that the third is always going to be the tough one and you guys again have equal playing field cause you both you both have been present for this Mount Rushmore so there's no way anyone can have an edge the last Mount Rushmore in the Mount Rushmore duel is the Mount Rushmore of PMT Mount Rushmore moments.
We only got one minute.
Give you two minutes.
You want two minutes?
Give you two minutes.
Yeah, two minutes.
PMT, not PMT moments, PMT Mount Rushmore moments.
So it's basically the Mount Rushmore of Mount Rushmore's. Well, again, you guys have both been present for all of these moments.
And there's only two of you. Like if there was four.
Shut up. We have to talk.
This is a podcast, Hank. We have to talk during these two minutes or else people will not listen to the podcast.
Some may say this is slanted against Hank because he's checked out of Mount Rushmore. Yep.
Forever. I also don't know if he took his Adderall today.
Oh, no. He had to have on a day like today.
I mean, this is the biggest day of his life. When are you ever going to duel again? Seriously.
We have 10 seconds of the first minute you take your headphones off we have to talk all right the first minute is up second minute coming so many great moments to come to think of right the the way that hank is reacting right now does not make me feel good for his chances. No, he's not acting from a place of confidence.
He wants to say shut up again right now. Yeah, he does.
He's mad. He's mad.
He's thinking really hard. Memes just said he has two 1-1s.
Wow. I'm not going to lie lie i don't think i would be good at this is hard this is hard it's a hard one i think we need more time yeah i think we might i'm okay we're going to three minutes three minutes okay i'm gonna go to three minutes three minutes do you want me to do you want me to i'm not i can't i can't say anything to jog memories no yeah i mean there's so many that i don't know if there were Mount Rushmore moments or that there were other moments from the show.
I mean, we'll have to just check the tapes. Two minutes are up.
We're giving them a third. We're giving them a third.
Giving them a third minute. We're giving them a third minute.
How was your weekend, Max? It was fine. Yeah? No, it was fun.
It was a really good weekend. Good.
Good wedding. Yeah, don't say fine because someone's listening who got married.
Yep, shout out Jane and Mike. it was fine yeah no it was fun it was a really good weekend good good wedding yeah don't don't say fine because someone's listening who got married yep shout out jane and mike it was a great wedding it was fine i just felt like shit today that's why i say it was fine but i don't know much fun at the wedding i don't know how you uh well i do know how you do it you're in your 20s yeah i have three more this month yeah i'm exhausted from just watching football yeah i'm going to the park with my kids it was it was basically on loop i know that i'm a famous hangover plane guy but being on a plane hungover is oh if we were doing mount rushmore like the last place you want to be hung over a plane is easily on that list yeah all right we got nine seconds left boys do we need another minute are we good are we feeling good are we feeling another minute if Hank wants another minute do you want another minute it's not another minute another minute the listeners gotta be they're waiting here you know what let's what? Let's do a – we'll cut this minute out.
Let's just not talk for the listeners.
Okay.
Memes just said he had 3-1-1.
But memes also –
All right, we'll just keep talking.
We also had – we knew this ahead of time.
I didn't look any of these up, so a lot of these are going to be – I'm going to be –
No, I can think of a couple.
There's a couple 1-1s. We also just never know what a 1-1 is.
We never can explain that. No, although Sopranos and Tom Brady was a 1-1.
I don't know. I wouldn't have been surprised if Hank picked Game of Thrones 1-1.
I'm not a Game of Thrones guy many people he was trying to muddy the water I know he's trying to muddy the water real sex he got crazy answer five seconds left by the way sex was a crazy real sex was insane all right we're done are we what are we doing okay all right we're doing it let's go we're doing it pft you have your first pick on the mount rushmore of pmt mount rushmore moments this could be to decide the duel okay uh right off the bat i'm gonna go with a recent one uh debating the color of cheese for four days interesting what do you want you want that... Say on the graphic.
Yeah. I want it to say...
I'm shocked. I don't think that was one...
I wasn't one-one. I'm going to say debating...
I'm shocked. Hank is shocked.
Debating... Hank's face is shocked.
Screaming at each other about the color of cheese for four days. Okay.
Okay all right i'm shocked hank you're one one my one one in uh part of my take mount rushmore moments is the pizza toppings that's that's it that's the one one that's the one one fuck i forgot about i mean but that they might think because that was such a bad mount rushmore for Hank. He they might think that that was you.
Yeah. Mind game.
But that was shocking. That was bad.
I might have. That was the first thing I thought of.
Hank is in shock still. Okay.
This is great. I'm so deep in my own.
Great. This is all of our own moments so it's like our stupidity then you have to pick which ones it's really it's really the human centipede
going on right now in podcasting history we're eating our ass
uh i'm going to go with my second pick
this mount rushmore duel that we're doing right now Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to go with a single Hornet. I had that on the list.
That was one of my-ones. I had that on the list.
Single Hornet, I stand by that. The most outrageous answer in the history of Mount Rushmore.
PFT might be playing a masterful mind game. Because those are PFT.
The AWLs, if they look and see pizza topping a single Hornet, they're going to think PFT. no that's bad no no no I just reversed myself you gotta just play the game Hank's playing it masterful Hank has you don't know who is playing it masterfully no Hank has PFT's picks right now he has both your picks shit no Hank's gonna fucking pull this off now there's still two picks Hank could easily fuck this up I'm not sure if this is a Mount Rushmore moment So I might get denied on it Alright, that's fine Jack Nicklaus It was? Yeah, good answer You want to say Billy's pronunciation? Billy mispronouncing Jack Nicklaus Why? He thinks that it wasn't a Rushmore moment I think it was oh it wasn't oh no wait wait he was doing it for a who's back he was doing it for like a who's back or a hot seat or cool throne all right so we'll damn i had that on the list i think pft lose can pick again at the end no he gets to pick again no he gets to pick again right now that's's fine.
I was going to say it. I was going to say it.
Confirmed, Hati Coulter.
Okay.
Why did you take pizza toppings?
I fucked up.
Why didn't you take pizza toppings? Because I forgot about it.
I didn't have the opportunity to look up.
How did you forget about it?
It's literally the entire.
Listen, when you're under the bright lights.
But that's like.
It's a little bit different.
That's the villain origin story of Hank
in Mount Rushmore season.
It's how we got here.
That's actually true.
Yes.
Every...
Hank, the pizza toppings draft,
you hit it, and that's how we got to this point.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
Okay.
PFT's pick. He's got to get a pick in.
We're going to need a pick. Hank not taking boobs in the Mount Rushmore of round things.
Mm. Did that just happen? I think.
A couple weeks ago. We've been doing this for nine years, PFT.
Hank's talking shit. Hank's doing a deal.
All PFTs picks are this year's. Yeah, although that could help.
Recent AWLs. I will go with hot soup coming through.
Ooh. Was that a Mount Rushmore moment? I believe it was.
I think it was. Memes, can we check that out? Mount Rushmore, things we think we're elite at? I said it during that, probably.
Because we were talking about moving through crowds. I think one of my pick was moving through crowds.
Yep. All right.
Okay. So hot soup coming through counts as a Mount Rushmore moment.
We've gone to the booth. We found it.
So that is your third pick. PFT, your fourth pick.
Okay. I'm going to go season one.
Okay. Scott Van Pelt doing the bracket of Mount Rushmore's to finish off Mount Rushmore's.
Love that pick. That was a good pick.
I had that on my list that I just came up with in my head. That was the first time we had SVP on the show.
Yes. Yeah.
We went to go meet him in some rented office space in Bristol because he didn't want to bring us anywhere near home base. We were on a whiteboard.
It was a good pick. Hank, your fourth pick.
i will also go season one it might give it away that it's me but i don't think it should matter jumping off a bridge to cure hangover okay that's a good one i couldn't think of much else i i would you guys have anything else on the list uh i I played recently biased. Jack Nicklaus.
Yeah, Jack Nicklaus I thought was Mount Rushmore. Jerome Bettis.
Yeah, I thought about that. Taking Jerome Bettis.
Hank teamed up with Max, and then Hank leaving town and Max dominating. Well, Hank was gone.
Titty fucking. Oh, that's a great one.
Yeah, Mr. Positions.
Mr. Positions.
Titty fucking. Yeah, that was both in the same one.
Yeah. The Mount Rushmore of numbers.
Oh, Mount Rushmore of draft positions with Jerry O'Connell. Oh, that's what it was.
Oh, yeah. When he just didn't understand.
I think his third pick was like Austin Eckler. Yeah.
Oh, man. Okay.
Boys, how do we feel? i feel great i think i i would say hank is minus 170 at all i mean that first pick was hanks minus i couldn't believe it yeah yeah big miss big miss with pizza you didn't even write down pizza i did not just didn't think it didn't occur to me it's like all i think about because it literally is the start of Grumpy Hank. I know.
Yeah, I'll never forget it. He's never changed from that moment on.
Listen, you got to have a short memory in this game before and after pizza topping. Tell the book like we do a part of my take book.
It would be like the like volume one would be before pizza toppings volume two after. I'll say this.
If I win this because of pizza toppings, it'll be a full circle moment oh that's true so you'd get you'd let go i think i would let go and i would at that point the pizza toppings draft would be the start of the championship dvd for hank yeah for your mindset so next summer you wouldn't be grumpy no wow because you used it you reclaimed it i don't believe you took that. Okay.
Like, we couldn't use that as an insult anymore. Yeah.
It's a good point. That's true.
Yeah. Memes, what were your 1-1 picks that you thought about? Pizza toppings? Yep.
Yep. One single Hornet.
Yep. And the draft positions was also just one of the funniest things.
Okay. Because you guys just kept picking numbers.
Jerry O'Connell couldn't figure that one out. I wasn't sure about Single Hornet because I wasn't sure if I remembered it so well because it happened to my pick or if it was that- The worst- It was the worst pick of all time.
It was the Mount Rushmore. Before Pizza Toppings, that was the most talked about Mount Rushmore pick.
Yeah, it was scary. It was like animals you'd want in a fight to the death.
Yeah, Single Hornet. Just fuck with you.
Oh, yeah. To be on your side.
Yeah, because it can sting you repeatedly. It doesn't lose its stinger.
And then if the other person's allergic, guess what? They're done. You guys letting Billy pick eight picks when you guys only have four.
I also thought about doing Hank blowing the Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell. Yeah.
That thought crossed my head. Or Jake and Billy doing doing ai taco bell both of them admitting beforehand they'd never had taco bell and they just were like oh these are chalupa i love it i forget the one that i i couldn't i couldn't remember which means it wasn't but what did jake in the old studio in chicago said something last summer that was legitimately like stunning i just can't i can't remember it specifically but that was like the funniest i just i couldn't remember it off the top of my head there were a couple jake moments that i that i also thought about one was the mount rushmore blue things when he accidentally said a competing blue sponsor and he would he wanted to kill himself yeah he did we just we we initially were like jake oh my god i can't believe you did that we gave up the joke with jake after about 30 seconds because it deeply affected him yeah he was so upset.
And then I also thought about Billy when he would go off script from Jake. Yes.
And they'd get into such big fights. I mean, that's just an entire summer, though.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're going to pause to do the rest of the show, and when we come back, we will pull up the polls that will be final by that time, and we'll figure out who won.
Good luck, boys. Congrats to Hank.
I think Hank is the clear favorite, so I'm not feeling too confident in my guys right now. Okay.
Okay, boys. You just listened to the Mount Rushmore duel.
It's been the longest two hours of my life. Longest two hours ever.
We've done the voting. We've all, I have not seen a single poll.
Nope.
Hank, you gonna put the cans on?
Hank, put the cans on.
You're gonna want to hear what memes and Macs have to say. We're gonna pull up the polls, and then on Wednesday's show, so we do have a show tomorrow
as well, on Wednesday's show, the loser will pick out of a hat to see what they have to
do.
Hank, it was a pleasure to compete against you.
Any regrets before we go look at the polls? Big regret. Entourage.
Entourage, Succession, big regret leaving them off. Succession, didn't know if it was 100% an HBO show or not.
Entourage was just a miss. Pure and simple, just a miss.
Would have loved to have the internet to look this up. And then, obviously, I wish I had taken Single Hornet.
Wait. Are you still not saying you regret as pizza toppings? Well, I completely.
Well, obviously, I regret that, but I didn't even write down pizza toppings on my list. I'm still flabbergasted by that because that's all I think about.
Yeah, pizza toppings. The fact that I didn't think about it to even write down on my list big fuck up on my part and then I did
have single hornet on the list but I didn't take it because I thought maybe since it's about me maybe I thought it was more important than other people would think that it was I just got in my head on that one yeah okay Hank any regrets no you feel confident let's out on the field okay So, poll one
HBO shows
Do we have it, Max? Are we pulling it up?
Memes
Pull it up memes pull it up i'd rather hear it from somebody oh you want to hear it okay hbo shows team one 79 of the vote that was pft that was to say that for the listeners team two team two got 21 of the vote on memes knows his math it's about what i expected all right so pft's up one to nothing how many of the replies were like both these lists were dog shit uh everybody was just mad about entourage yeah fair yeah i mean we should put there's a disclaimer you guys were under a lot of pressure in the duel the duel is not easy to. To go right off the rip, not even have a second to think.
You have one minute to think. So, okay.
This one is going to be interesting. Team one is who in this one? Team one is Hank.
Okay. Team one.
85% of the voting. Oh, my God.
Bloodbath.
Congratulations, Hank.
I would have loved to know what happened if you had Patrick Mahomes in that draft.
And then I'm going to guess that in the third one,
we're going to see a result that's very similar to the second poll.
Oh, no. I think Hank took it home with like 80% of the third poll.
Okay.
The third poll, who is team one?
Team one is PFT. And the third poll.
Team one. 55%.
What? No way. No way.
Oh, my God. No way.
What? Hank. Wow.
Hank, what? Listen. No way.
Are you serious? Serious. How? He pulled it off.
Hank should have won. Hank thought he had that in the bag.
Shout out to the AWLs. Oh, my God, Hank.
You thought you had that in the bag how is that possible i think what color is cheese was huge because it was because it was so recent yeah oh hank give us your thoughts this is justice for the awls they wanted hank to lose i'm stunned summer of hank officially over. Yeah, I'm stunned.
That hurts.
That hurts a lot.
When I heard 81%, I thought it was over.
Yeah, 1033 on Monday, September 2nd, the death of the summer of Hank.
So, I mean, this is even worse for pizza toppings now in Hank's memory.
25%, or 25,000 votes.
Hank got double fucked by pizza toppings. Oh, my God, Hank.
So now you're going to hold pizza toppings against us forever. Yeah, that hurts.
That hurts. That hurts a lot.
I don't know what. I can't believe that.
I'm shocked. Yeah.
Oh, also. Oh, shit.
PFT with this. Now I'm seeing it in the graphic form that was genius what he did oh my god your third pick hank not taking boobs is the biggest giveaway of any of the graphics hank would never take hank not taking boobs yeah wow that was i don't know if you meant to do that.
I didn't. I just but that's exactly what it is.
When you look at the graphic and you look at it team two has a heavier light but team one Hank not taking boobs is a dead giveaway. You should have taken Hank not taking boobs.
I don't regret anything. I really have no regrets.
You asked me before. PFT won fair and square.
This is going to hurt. I thought you had it.
I thought I had it easy. Hank, are you going to hold me taking Hank not taking boobs against me? No.
I mean, you changed the graphic like three different times. Oh, no.
Do we need another jewel? Because your pick was Hank not taking boobs in the X draft. Round things draft.
Yeah. But then the draft was just Hank not taking boobs.
Yeah. But your pick was Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft.
Oh, I see what you're saying. It does look better just saying Hank not taking boobs.
It's the start of the sentence. Yeah, without the finish.
And you asked them to change it. Oh, man.
I thought that encapsulated my pick. I'm seeing some of the replies, and people are like, it's clear PFT's team won.
Wow. Yeah, I mean, you...
He outsmarted you. You won.
You changed the graphic. You did good.
I'm happy for the AWLs because I think they really wanted Hank to lose.
You know what, Hank?
Whatever the punishment is that you have to do,
I will volunteer myself to do part of it alongside you.
No, it's all right.
It's all right.
I will.
It's all right.
You won fair and square.
I wouldn't do that for you.
I know you wouldn't, but I would do it it for you it was a good battle that hurts i'm shocked i i thought i thought i lost man i want i want all the i want the clip of hank when pft didn't take pizza toppings i want the clip of hank when he just lost that was that was a great moment, though, because I thought you had won it. Yeah.
I thought the only way was somehow the Flacco thing. Hank not taking booze.
I thought the third poll was a win. I thought I lost the Mount Rushmore.
People have recency bias, I think. Yeah, that's what I was planning on.
I think it's the third pick. Third pick.
Looking at it now. The graphic change was big.
The graphic change. The graphic change from what you actually said.
Because Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft doesn't come off nearly as hard as Hank not taking boobs. Right.
And you said Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft. Hank not taking boobs in the round things draft.
The only way this could end is more conscious.
Would have also heavily implied that it was me saying Hank not taking picks in the round things draft.
But you said-
It pops.
Yeah, it is what it is.
It is what it is.
We're arguing about deleting a couple words.
So Hank-
Well, you did ask them to delete them.
Twice.
I missed that.
Twice.
So Hank-
Did that happen in person?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And I think he went over there oh you made your pick look better than what you asked like you should have just said hank not taking boobs but you said hank not taking boobs in the round things draft then you saw that on the graphic and changed it to something that looked better what were your picks in the is that fact or fiction what are your picks in the in the last mount rushmore It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I'm curious to know, Max, can you tell me what they are? Memes pull them up. I had pizza toppings, a single Hornet, hot soup coming through, and jumping off a bridge to cure a hangover.
And were those the ends of your entire explanation for what your pick was? Yeah, that's what I said when I said, what's your pick? That was my answer. Okay, well, more controversy.
Hank, I'll do some of the punishment with you. No, no, it's fine.
You won fair and square. You made sure you changed those graphics, and you won.
Wow. Wow.
I didn't realize I missed this whole graphic change thing. I think that's fair.
I think that's fair to say Hank not taking boobs. Wow.
Then why didn't you say that the first time? Why didn't you say that? Why did you say? I did say Hank not taking boobs. In the round things draft.
Yeah, but I also said Hank not taking boobs. Yeah, no, you did.
Duel, duel, duel, duel. It is what it is.
I regret nothing. I mean, my picks were good.
I thought I won. I didn't.
I'll do the punishment. I can read the room, and the room right now is thinking Hank's got a point.
Color of cheese also got changed. Yeah, we said two things.
I didn't even know that. That wasn't one of the original two.
What color is cheese? What did it get changed? But your first one was arguing about... Yeah, you just changed the answers to things you didn't say.
But the moments are the same. But our picks...
It's the same thing as what happened with a random guy. Your pick is what you say, not what you want it to look like on the graphic.
But it's your pick. My pick was the what color is cheese debate.
So that's why what color is cheese was on there. Your pick was screaming at each other about the color of cheese.
Okay, again, I can read. No, no, no, no.
I can read the room. No, I have no problem with the results.
Shut the fuck up. You also didn't, like, Shane said this in the group text, you didn't answer this in the group text.
You just went up to him and let him change it. No, because they asked me.
That's why I asked. Because they asked me, are you fine with this graphic? Did I go up to you? I said, are those two correct? And then you changed the other two you said you said is this graphic fine i said are do these match what your corrections were and then you were like can we do it to hank not taking boobs and what color is cheese we i yeah i shorted the hank not taking boobs to hank not taking boobs and the original correction was the scott Pelt one.
This is Philadelphia 2020 all over again. Okay, so like I said, I can read the room.
Stop the steal. I can see that Max is saying that Hank might have a point here.
I can hear in Memes' voice that he's thinking. Memes also might be upset because I asked him to do like one second more work, and that's what he's upset about.
So I can understand would like to say on the record I'm I'm siding with you you're you're happy that I won but you're not but you know that Hank also has a point he has a point so what I would like so what I would like to do the Tyler Van Dyke shit I'm out on him so what I would like to do dead to me I know no Hank shut up let me let me no shut up you got what you wanted you want I'm doing the punishment I don't want your sympathy. I'm going to do one hour of a punishment after cheating.
I will do the punishment. That's not what you're saying.
It's over. It's over.
It's over. It's over.
That's not what I'm saying, Hank. What I'm saying is...
It's over. I would be willing to run the duel back on Wednesday.
Are we going to duel again? We're going to duel again? I would be willing to run the duel back on Wednesday. A re-duel? A re-duel because I acknowledge that this could be looked at as me changing it.
I wasn't trying to get away with anything, but what I was trying to do was just say what I said on the show, have the text match the moment that I selected, but I can see how it comes off the other way. So I would like to offer a re-duel.
Should we let the listeners decide? Yeah, we should have them vote vote i need a glove and well they're gonna vote for a redule yeah i need a glove to slap hank in the face with and challenge him would you do you accept the redule i challenge you to a duel we're never gonna get out of mount rush for our season yeah of course i would accept a redule but i'm i also don't like let's fucking redule so hank if you win if you tie in the re-duel and then we have to do a third re-duel? Let's fucking re-duel. Best two out of three? Or if you win the re-duel, are we saying if you win the re-duel, then it's your win? Right now it's one-to-one Mount Rushmore's.
Yeah. Or two-to-one, you're technically up.
But if you're taking that one off the board, then it's one-to-one. Okay, so we can take that one off the board and then do one more Mount Rushmore for everything? That works for me.
One more duel? One more duel? Mount Rushmore? A single duel? A single duel. For Wednesday's show.
For Wednesday's show. So we would re-duel and do the same thing, post the poll right away? Yeah.
If we do that, you have to say exactly what you want on the graphic in the moment. We can't have any, no modifications.
So a single reduel? A single reduel. Works for me.
You're going to reduel? PFT, you're going to reduel? Yeah. Can we see a handshake? Anytime, anywhere.
Yeah, shake hands. Shake hands.
Shake hands on the redo. Wow.
I didn't realize that there were so many graphic changes, but I still stand with PFT. Me too.
Me too. So why are we redoing? Memes doesn't.
I could hear it. I could hear the controversy, and I don't want this to be controversial.
I want this to be.
No, it's not at all.
No, there's no controversy.
You won fair and square. May the worst man lose.
You did win fair and square, but you're taking off the board yourself. I did not ask you for a redo.
You offered it. I began to feel bad because there were significant changes that were made to the graphic.
That is 100% correct. I don't think I violated the spirit of the rule, but I'm willing to acknowledge that the listeners deserve to have a clean cut, no excuses, fair Mount Rushmore dual conclusion.
Yeah. All right, so Max Memes, we got to come up with a fucking banger Mount Rushmore.
We need a doozy. We got to come up with one that's killer.
It also doesn't allow for any hijinks. Simple answers.
Hijinks. Or just, you know, whatever you say goes on the graphic.
Yeah, or whatever you say goes on the graphic. Memes is mad.
I knew memes is mad. I knew it.
I didn't realize you went up to Shane. That definitely.
Shane, do you have anything to say? Shane, do you have anything? I talk to memes. Memes talk to Shane.
Oh, that was smart of you. Well, no, because me...
Keep your out of direct... Yeah.
It's like Conor Stallion. Yeah, that was smart.
No, memes came up to me with the graphic. He's like, how does this look? And then I looked at him and I was...
For the changes that you asked. Shane, so you were given orders from memes.
Shane?
Hello?
Yeah.
Hi, Shane.
It's a podcast.
We're doing a podcast.
Well, I didn't know if my mic was unmuted.
I was given orders by multiple people.
Wow.
Who?
First, it was, I think, Max.
Max told me PFC had some... Well, the first one was justified, the Scott Van Pelt one.
Okay.
Because it got a little wordy and it was not it was not necessary the cheese one was what i initially had written was you corrected what you initially said and you said you wanted it to say screaming screaming at each other about about the color of cheese for four days straight and then there was another change after that was made. Yeah, to what color is cheese.
Correct. Yep.
And then the Hank Boobs one. Which just isn't what you said.
Yeah. It was the moment, though.
It was the what color is cheese moment. The Hank Boobs one was, I think, the most...
Egregious. Egregious.
Looking at the graphic, I now see why PFT won that like it's a it's a clean graphic it's a clean graphic we should repost the original graphic and see who won that should be the read who would have won all right so uh wow redual so tomorrow's show we're gonna have a redual so uh AWL I'm curious as of what people are gonna if are going to be happy about this or mad or what. Yeah, I don't know.
AWL. If they're mad at anybody, they can be mad at me.
They'll be mad at me. No, I'd prefer that they're mad at me.
I don't want anyone to be mad to Hank. So let's do the Mount Rushmore.
We'll do it in the morning, and then we'll post the poll. Why don't we post the poll right before we record the rest of the show and we won't look at our our phones again so we'll only leave like we'll only be like an hour we'll know we'll time it up so it's not like we have to be off our phones for the whole afternoon redo by the way the guy's still not uh he's deleted his instagram and his twitter and everything else the guy who's supposed to eat shit, I will...
Dog shit. I will...
I will
make sure this guy eats his shit. He should eat...
I'm not gonna rest until he eats his shit.
He should have Ben poop in the
cup. Yeah.
Yeah, I love
Ben.
Max didn't say anything. Wow.
I love... Interesting.
Interesting.
I love Ben. I love Ben.
Okay. Redual.
We gotta come up with a great Mount Rushmore boys It's gotta be awesome We gotta think And when I say we I gotta think Unless memes or max You got anything You're gonna say color Give us a color A color would actually be pretty good Oh should we drop a color on them You know know what? AWLs, give us some tips. Give us some tips.
Throw some tips to me, Max, and Memes' way. We'll look through them.
Okay. Good show, boys.
Reduels on. And then we should have the hat ready to go as well.
So the loser has to pick out of the hat so we can just be done with the Mount Rush. How about we do the hat first? Oh, I love that.
I love, love, love that. I love that idea, Max.
That's a great idea. All right, so we'll have the hat.
So we'll be done. We'll be done with Mount Rushmore season.
Okay. Numbers.
10. 56.
3. 3.
3. 8.
97, Pug.
40.
If either of you get it right now, do the other one's a loser?
Yes.
I love that.
Yep.
I agree with that.
Eight and 40?
Okay.
Everyone say their numbers?
Three.
10, Ben.
21. 56.
Pug did 97. Great 10 Ben 21 56
Pug did 97
15
15
Love you guys
See you for the Redule
Redule Thank you. Thank you.