Ryen Russillo, Mt Rushmore Of Best Feelings, Hank Lit The Lighthouse And Preseason Hype

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Ryan Russillo, dressed ridiculously, great time with him. We actually recorded on his 49th birthday, so it was a great time with him we have the mount rushmore of best feelings we have six mount rushmores left so it's coming down to it we're gonna talk some preseason this is like the last week before football really starts not a ton going on but we talk some preseason we're gonna do who's back of the week we also have to talk about hank lighting the lighthouse ringing the bell ringing the bell of the lighthouse keeping the lighthouse keeping the lighthouse uh great show ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.

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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame lay all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings score big with DraftKings all college football season long.
Barstool Sports. Today is Monday, August 19th, and this is the first show that we are doing in the midst

of royalty.

Lighthouse royalty.

The keeper of the light.

We are with the keeper of the light slash bell.

Henry Lockwood is back in studio.

Hank, I don't know, should we bow to you?

I mean, are you a sir?

Kirksey?

Yeah.

Are you a knight? I'm a keeper. You're a keeper.
You're officially a keeper. I don't think a knight would light the light, right? No.
Well, he didn't. You break the knight.
Neither did he. That's true.
You kept the light. So where is the light? Do you have it right now? Yeah.
Is it still on? It is still on. Okay.
I think you just keep it inside you. Yeah.
You have that light. This little light of yours.
tell everyone because you know we talked about it briefly when we taped our mount rush on wednesday that people were listening to but we didn't get the full recap of you keeping the light slash ringing the bell um and also maybe sprinkle in a little matthew judon yeah matthew judon uh that happened the day after we recorded he did get traded i mean he's a little bit older he wasn't probably going to resign. Oh, this is good.
You got your talking points. Yeah, it's good.
If the Patriots have a top five pick, God knows how that would happen. Then they're going to have five draft picks in the top 150, I think.
I thought you said that. And that's how you rebuild.
I thought you said ongoing talks were productive and good. I think, but they realize it's probably best for both parties to trade them so it's good you know everybody's happy yeah

everyone's super happy this is actually the best thing that's ever happened is the draft cut off

usually 150 is that where we're the top 150 i can't think like halfway through the fourth round

no good players have ever been picked past 150 especially not with the patriots but five and out

of 150 is good yeah is this this was a talking point would they give you a little sheet being

like here's how we're gonna spin this no it was you know people are obviously like that was the Patriots. But five out of 150 is good.
Yeah. This was a talking point.
Did they give you a little sheet being like, here's how we're going to spin this? No, it was. People were obviously like, that was the day of.
People were a little bummed out. But no, it was an amazing experience.
Got there early. We got to go on the field pregame, so everyone would warm up.
Then they brought us. How long did it take to go from the field to the lighthouse? You had to go all the way up.
Yeah. We went old school.
No, I'm just kidding. It was cool.
They brought us up an elevator. It's really tall, so it took a while to go up the elevator.
Yeah, but it was a really, really, really tall elevator because it's a really, really tall lighthouse. And they do have a little announcer thing, kind of like a tour guide, like you're in Disney World or a theme park or a virtual tour where they say, welcome to the largest lighthouse in the continental US, which is a nice touch.
Because I looked on the website, and it's interesting because they have quotes around the word lighthouse. But that was actually really nice because what he just said right there, it's basically Disney World.
Yeah. It's like going to Vegas and seeing the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah. It's like Space Mountain isn't really a mountain.
Yeah, right. But people love Space Mountain.
Right. And people love Vegas.
Listen, we're not saying there's not love. It's just like it's more of an attraction than a lighthouse.
Yeah, it's a lighthouse simulator. Right.
So, Hank, I got to ask you a ride. It's a representation of the region.
You went on a ride. I got to ask you, from the top of the lighthouse, you had a pretty good view.
And I got to say, the double fist pump that you gave to the crowd was incredible. And it seemed like they were eating out of the palm of your hand.
Oh, my God. The screams.
It was like the parade all over again. Were you thinking at any point encore? Because it felt like the fans wanted an encore of you ringing the bell.
We can't unring the bell. Once you ring it once.
It's kind of wrong. But if you notice, people weren't leaving.
Yeah. They were sitting there like, come on, we want more.
Well, it was a beautiful moment. You guys obviously are making jokes, but we're all the way there.
I said I got chills from it. It's a real sports podcast.
There was basically a hurricane going on in Foxborough before we showed up. We're driving in.
There's lightning. There's thunder.
It's dark. You can barely see on the road.
And as we're going up the lighthouse, the sun emerged from the clouds. The sun came out.
The skies got bright. I said that already.
Obviously, because of the rain, the fans hadn't got there yet because it was such bad weather. They were probably needing a light to guide them into the stadium.
Preseason game. And it hadn't started yet.
So, yeah, they said, you know, you're going to ring the bell three times and turn around and face the crowd. And it was – I started laughing, I think.
You couldn't really see my face. It was so funny.
And I instinctively did this. Yeah.
And I heard – I just saw seats, and I heard like one, you know, there was a rogue clapper.

There was a lot of AWLs there for the amount of limited amount of people there.

There was, you know, a good amount of AWL.

So thank you for shouting me out when you were there.

The behind the scenes clip you posted on your Instagram was so funny because it was like

ringing the bell and then kind of silence.

And then someone behind, maybe it was one of your friends just started clapping and

it was kind of like a Jeb Bush, please clap moment.

Whereas like, we got to, we got to do something here.

Everybody wants to know though, Hank, you get up to the top of the lighthouse, you look at, I'm sure you looked for a federally recognized body of water. Yep.
Did you find one? There was, trees were in full bloom. Yeah.
So I think the Nepenton River was, you could see through it a little bit, but it was pretty blocked by the trees. So you couldn't see it.
Got it. Because I would imagine that if you had seen the river, you would have taken like nine pictures of the river and been like, look.
It was also really still foggy from the rain. The sun came out.
Yeah, but there was still some lingering fog. So you couldn't really see too, too far out because of the fog.
So you could see the sun though. Yeah.
But not the trees. but like seeing far enough you know there's so much fog so you but it was so you could see the sun though yeah but not the trees but like seeing far enough you know there's so much fog sun's really far away yeah someone's behind us but did any boats crash in the stadium while you were up there nope nope i kept it well i kept it well did you did you get the vibe that maybe you're gonna be invited back for a regular season game yeah i think that was a good first step i think i you know i told you know you could do it yeah the patriots were they were amazing they rolled out the red carpet uh i you know thanked him the next day they said you were a great keeper of the light okay uh one of the funnier moments was you know a very official woman came up with a very official like big book she's like we need you to sign this all the keepers of the light sign it and it went through there's only been 10 or i think i was the 10th oh like oh tom brady tom brady was the first one kenny chesney james white oh my god like you know the a team that won the state championship and then henry lockwood and i was just laughing thinking about like two years from now where there's actually you know a famous person who's not really familiar obviously and they're going through that list and they're're going to be like, oh, yeah, and they're just going to flip through my name.
Like Henry Lockwood, and then- Did you write Make-A-Wish underneath it? No, there actually was another Make-A-Wish. Oh, okay.
He was one of the 10. So when you say there was another Make-A-Wish, you're admitting that you were Make-A-Wish.
It was, yeah, I mean, listen, it was a very cool moment. I didn't, you know, I didn't- Summerhead keeps going.
It was it was surreal. It was very surreal.
I didn't feel like I necessarily deserved it, but it was cool. They announced me.
They said, you know, please welcome part of my take Brady for like that was a very cool moment. And yeah, it was it was sick.
Like it's your world. The pictures will last forever.
And I think I did a good job. And, you know, you crushed as things go along.
Like they're obviously going to go through the roster of all the famous celebrity Patriot fans. But eventually they're going to have to go back to the well.
They might just look through the book. Yeah.
Who's number 10? Yeah. Let's bring him back.
We know he can do the job. Yeah.
It's very good, Hank. It's very.
It's a prestigious honor. I'm looking through the list of people here that have been asked to keep the light.
And it's like a general from the army. Dante Skarniecki was asked to do it.
What is Kenny Chesney? What's his connection? Because I feel like Kenny Chesney is just the guy that they invite whenever they need a celebrity sports fan to show up, regardless of team. He does country fest there every year.
He's a big, and I'm sure he's friends with the Krauts, but that's always like a big concert at Gillette, and I think he is a Patriots fan. They just didn't have, oh, he might have done it.
He might have done did it second. He might have done it for Army-Navy for game day.
No, he was second. He was the second person up there.
So it was Tom. He did it first on the 10th, then Kenny Chesney did it on the 17th.
I feel like Kenny Chesney does three different college game days. Yeah.
Did you guys win? We did not win. They also, I will say, they said the person up top, the person who was stationed up there,

they said Kenny Chesney was really nervous,

and I was less nervous than him.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

You weren't even nervous.

And another guy came up and said that was one of the hardest.

As I was walking in, one of the ushers was like,

don't ring it too hard.

And I was like, that just means I'm going to go even harder.

Yeah, he was basically daring you.

So wait, the Eagles won?

Eagles won.

Eagles had a comeback victory.

And I feel like Patriots fans, you're now experiencing phase two of Joe Milton. Yeah, he was basically daring you.
So wait, the Eagles won? Eagles won. Eagles had a comeback victory.
Congrats, Max.

I feel like Patriots fans, you're now experiencing phase two of Joe Milton.

Yeah.

Was it phase two?

It was a little bit of phase two.

Hank doesn't remember.

You don't remember.

Were you drunk?

No, he was living off the high of the lighthouse.

Were you drunk when you rang that bell?

Not when I rang the bell.

Got it.

I did celebrate with a couple of Shandies after.

Yeah.

But yeah, Joe Milton, unfortunately.

I mean, I'm still going to get excited about Joe Milton.

Is he going to make the roster?

Yeah.

When he's good, he's great.

You have more quarterbacks now.

Okay, so great job, Hank.

Yeah, thank you.

Preseason marches on.

We also had Patrick Mahomes should be in jail for being witchcraft

because the behind-the-back pass that he unveiled, just not fair.

Yeah, I said that it should have been taunting running that play because Patrick Mahomes is now bored of football. He's so good at football that he can't play like a normal quarterback because it's too easy for him.
So he just ups the difficulty level. Now he's throwing behind-the-back passes.
And now teams have to game plan for it. You've plan for it he did he gave a quote after the game was over he said long story short sorry long story short travis didn't run the route he was supposed to run and then it was kind of behind the back pass because i was mad i was pissed off at travis so he ran the wrong route and then mahomes threw it behind the back just to kind of like make it more difficult for him to catch the ball yeah and it ended up being one of the best plays i've ever seen it was so cool it was so cool he said out of spite i threw a behind the back pass but now it's going to be a highlight yeah now it's going to be a highlight now it's going to be something he'll do during game and now teams have to plan for it and yeah he's he's reached a level of like fuck around with football that is has never been seen before yeah and then the camera pans to carson w on the sideline just laughing and smiling he's on the Chiefs he's on the Chiefs oh Huey that's a big one there's a good chance that Carson Wentz wins another Super Bowl yeah also Randy Gregory not on the Bucs and was he ever a buck he was uh Todd Bowles said after they decided that they're gonna cut him because he never showed up he said you can't miss what you never had.
Yeah. Which is a great way to live life.
He doesn't know why he never showed up. I think he just didn't want to do the conditioning.
Maybe. In which case, respect to Randy Gregory.
I think that he'll probably just get added to the 49ers like halfway through the season and be like, damn, look at the 49ers again. Yeah, that's probably what's going to happen.
PFT, our quarterbacks. Still looking good.
Yeah, so we were at a wedding on Saturday night. Our good friend Mark Titus, a good friend of the program, got married.
And PFT was watching the game at the wedding because it's fucked up that he did that. What kind of an asshole gets married week two of the NFL preseason? At 6 p.m.
When he knows that Jaden Daniels is going to be playing.

Yeah, and I also got accused by my wife of peeking over at the game because I just, like a moth to the flame,

PFT was sitting next to me and he just had the game up

and I just kept on being like, oh, football's on.

Listen, I'm going to watch Jaden.

I'm going to watch my new quarterback in the preseason.

I did a bad job watching him.

I was going to watch and then when he was out of the game, put the phone away, whatever happens, whatever. Don't care.
He looked good, but then there was one point in the second quarter I had looked away from my phone for a while. I was being social or whatever at a wedding.
Lame. Yeah, big-time man card move on my part.
I look back at the screen, and I see the quarterback sprinting down the field, running away from everybody. I'm like, fuck yeah, Jaden is so good good jayden is so good and then he gets up and it was jeff driscoll so i guess we got but jeff driscoll i guess we got we got like two jadens now that's incredible i feel like jeff driscoll is sneaky jayden i also saw jeff driscoll i believe already has started his second career uh i don't know why i think someone showed that they were connected to him on linkedin and he's already like working in the greater florida area uh yeah acquisition entrepreneur nfl athlete acquisition entrepreneur smb owner but for him that smb yeah yeah it's just very funny that a guy who's playing in the nfl right now has like, a full LinkedIn.
Yeah. The start of a new Driscoll year.

Yeah.

All right.

And then my guy, Keo Williams, made a throw that made me feel things.

Yeah.

He's good.

We got quarterback.

He started the game slow, and the haters started piling on.

And I was like, listen, it's good that I haven't overreacted to any preseason games or plays or throws.

And then he dropped that rollout to Roma Dunze. And I lost my mind and went back to telling the haters to suck my dick from the back.
Yeah, he was pretty good. He was really, really good.
I'm just very excited for week one. And I'm very excited to just get on the roller coaster and just have a fucking great ass time.
Yeah, I am starting to get nervous every time Jaden runs with the ball, though, because he doesn't slide. We saw that at LSU when he gets hit.
It is funny watching that compilation of Jaden Daniels getting hit in college. With, like, the Bugs Bunny music? Yeah, because it does look like Looney Tunes when he's playing.
I would prefer for him to slide, and at one point he didn't slide, and then Dan Quinn. Dan Quinn's hats have gotten more backwards since he became a head coach.
He's gone further they're further backwards i didn't know that was possible but he's on the sidelines with his backwards hat like jawing at jayden after the play i'm like dan quinn's right listen to dan quinn you're gonna get hurt jayden yeah so i've i do have that like you know that history with quarterbacks where you get a really good mobile quarterback that can run he's electric and i just hope to god that we've done something different with the field because I don't think the Bears did anything different with their field. I saw – Oh, so bad.
Before the game, they had the seams. Metallica, yeah.
Metallica did it. Metallica did it.
This is the – this is – like every time I had a step forward and like, man, Ryan Poles has put a great team together. Caleb Williams looks like the real guy.
And then you just get brought back down to reality where it's like there's just reports that Ryan Poles is walking the field, looking at pointing out all the seams, being like this is not safe to play on because we're not a real franchise. Yeah, Metallica concert one week before the game.
Yeah. That's tough.
Yep. And obviously the Bears don't own Soldier Field, so they don't get to decide what goes on there.
But yeah, I just want the season to start. I know that we've talked privately, PFT, that we've probably gotten ahead of ourselves.
But it's okay. Are you getting ahead of yourself with Drake May? No, I'm patient.
Okay, because I got ahead of myself today. We're just giving fodder to the haters who are just going to clip all of these and put a a compilation i was in the car with my kids and i was just thinking like what if kail williams is awesome for like the next 15 years and my kids like go to college and kail williams is still the bears quarterback yeah it could it could be what if what if they're like literally starting college and they're like it's more i just grew up with kail williams it's more gonna be like the you saying that and you saying that like three years ago what do you mean what like i feel like you said that exact same thing about justin fields okay well you know what we were i'm saying like you're talking about the comp you rang a fucking bell dude it wasn't even a lighthouse also also caleb's different i can admit that watching caleb but my biggest fear different and i i've talked to big cat about offline, but we might as well share it online.
Yeah. My biggest fear now is that Jaden Daniels is going to be so goddamn good and that Caleb or Jaden Daniels is going to be awesome.
Like I'm talking Joe Burrow, I'm talking Josh Allen, and then Caleb Williams is going to be Patrick Mahomes. We've already gotten to that point.
And then I'm going to be like this motherfucker, and I'm not going to be happy with being so great. I've really talked myself into a corner here where I need Jaden to be great more than anything I've ever needed in my entire life.
Yeah, PFT did say that, and I was just like, well, we're really getting ahead of ourselves. We've got Jaden as Josh Allen and Caleb Williams as Patrick Mahomes.
I'd say minimum Josh Allen. Hank, just get in with us.
Yeah, you guys are in win now mode. We're not in win.
We're in load up mode. We're in more like.
Load up. Top 150 picks.
Let Jacoby play. Whatever happens, happens.
Drake May is more like an Aaron Rodgers. He's going to be great, but he's got to give him some time.
So one Super Bowl in 15 years? Yeah, a couple MVPs. Okay.
Oh, that's what you care about now? You need him to be great. No, I'm saying, but like Aaron Rodgers, I'll take that as my QB all day.
He won one Super Bowl. Yeah.
Kind of a bust. You need this financially.
I actually don't. Oh, I guess I do.
Yeah. Yeah.
But you do need it. Well, you actually don't.
That's the thing. Hank could miss on the next four quarter next like four quarterbacks and still be fine yeah what's gonna happen we're at a point where it's like this you know both what we've been through and also our own age in mortality yeah it's like you gotta you gotta do it soon like this is kind of our last bite at the apple here because who gives a shit we could be dead who gives a shit if if the commanders win three super bowls in my late 50s early 60s like these are my prime years for enjoying that sort of thing right we need it now right now i hope i hope it we're basically just two chicks with our biological clocks just fucking screaming at us yeah you won't be able to to enjoy super bowls in 10 years from now you'll be menopausal i'm going through manopause right now we can't have that we're gonna gain weight and the shitty thing flashes the patriots could stink the celtics could self-destruct and then obviously the red sox will become great again hank just doesn't go through drought yeah he's just he's just fine with it always wet uh any any other uh notes from the booth for preseason week two or three if you played in the Hall of Fame game? Don't care about preseason.
Okay. All right.
That also makes us feel bad. That's loser talk, Max.
I know how much of a loser I am to be this excited about Caleb Williams' rollout pass to Roma Dunsay, which was incredible. But I don't care.
I don't care that I know I'm this much. I mean, no, that pass was sick.
That pass was so sick. That pass was sick.
That pass was so sick. There is a debate.
We can embrace debate real quick. Are you talking about the test? I'm talking about, no, I'm talking about the Olympics.
Oh. In 2028.
Oh. Flag football.
Okay, wait, before we do that, I wanted to hear hear your guys thoughts on a test that has been brought up this has to do with uh preseason week three or two um i wanted to know what you guys thought because this was a debate in my world um did you see simone biles was at the game her husband jonathan owens plays on the bears i saw she wearing a Packers jacket. She was wearing a Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers last year.
What color was the jacket? It was actually like black and white. Okay.
So it was- There was- Well, he played for the Packers, so his- It was a Jonathan Owens jacket and he happened to play for the Packers. There's a Jonathan Owens logo on it.
I think, personally, just as J.O., this is a test by Simone Biles. Simone Biles is actually doing a great job.
She's seeing, hey, you guys got to start thinking about winning. You can't be worried about jackets.
I'm going to go out on this field with a jacket and see if you guys can keep your composure. It's all about the name on the back of the jacket, not the name on the front of the jacket.
She should update her jacket. She has been a little busy.
She had a walking boot on. Do you think that I should have been upset? Yeah, I think you probably should have.
Okay. If it had the Green Bay Packers logo on it.
Well, it was the Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers. And it had the Green Bay Packers logo on it.
It didn't really. It kind of was just the helmets that he wore.
It wasn't like a Kristen Juszczyk. Oh, there was multiple helmets on there? Well, it was just like a collage of him.
Let me look this up. It was him.
It was a him collage. He happened to play for the Packers last year.
Again, I think this was a test, and I will not fail this test. I will not break me.
I will not let it break the Bears fan base. I will not let us have...
We're about to enter the golden age, and we can't have a jacket bring us down. Okay, I'm looking at this right now.
So good test, Simone. I like what you did.
I think we passed the test. There's a lot of Packers logos on here.
Well, he played for the Packers. Jonathan Owens, he happened to play for the Packers.
If he went overseas while she was competing and he was wearing a France jacket. Well, she never played for France, so that doesn't make sense.
She was playing in France. In France, but she never played for France.
One of those games could have been in Chicago. If it was a jacket with pictures of Simone Biles in front of the Eiffel Tower.
That doesn't really make sense. In front of Champs-Élysées.
That doesn't really make sense. Look, she's got to update her wardrobe.
Again, great test, Simone. She's a nine-time AWL.
Someone actually pointed that out. One of these just has a giant Green Bay Packers logo.
It could be the back of his shirt. It's just a giant Green Bay Packers logo back of his shirt it's just a big Green Bay Packers it could be the back of his shirt um someone did point out that it was actually Huey's fault because he didn't do Simone Biles nine-time AWL huge fan of the show Huey didn't do when we did uh uh faces in new places he didn't Jonathan Owens.
So she might have not known that he was on the Bears. Got it.
So Huey, bad job by you, dude. There's a 50% chance she doesn't even know that these two teams have a rivalry.
Oh, why do you say that? I mean, she just. No, she lived it.
She was. Jonathan Owens was on the Packers.
Happened to be on the Packers last year. How much are you talking about football?

She went to a lot of games.

I think she just was busy winning gold medals for the U.S.

and being an Olympic hero, and she hasn't been able to update her wardrobe.

Again, it's preseason.

A jacket shouldn't divide us in preseason.

If she showed up regular.

There's also a very good chance she had the twisties again,

and she didn't know where she was. Facts.
If she showed up. She might have gotten lost, and she thought she was in Green Bay.
Week one, I would have been upset. It's preseason for jackets, too.
That's true. I mean, that's a fact.
Yep. You got to work out all these things.
We always talk about quarterbacks working out different facial hair and weird shit. Patrick Mahomes throwing behind the backs.
This is preseason. Max said it perfectly.
Who cares? This is like a... It's like a Caleb Williams throw to Roma Duns.
This is like a Daniel Jones pick six of a jacket. Fine.
Yeah, that was... It was a classic Daniel Jones.
You know what? I don't know what was going through your head then. I was just thinking so badly that I wish it was regular season.
Because I would have been able... Because that was...
Preseason, we've talked about it before. You basically judge preseason.
If your players do well, you're like, preseason matters. If your team does bad, you just ignore it.
And you also kind of can't go at other teams for preseason. So it's like, Daniel Jones threw that pick six, and I wanted to make fun of it.
But it's preseason. It's preseason.
What went through my head was the interview that we had with somebody that wanted to be the intern on part of my take. And he was a Giants fan.
He's like, it's going to be great. Daniel great Daniel Jones is going to be doing Daniel Jones things that's right and then me and Big Cat stopped and we're like wait were you saying Daniel Jones things are good things yeah good or bad things yeah he was like that's good Daniel Jones doing Daniel Jones things that's a good thing this was a Daniel Jones thing yeah this was like the quintessential Daniel Jones thing big time big time um all right so I'm happy that we all agree that Simone Biles was just testing and a good test.
Yeah. I think she just got lost in the air.
Yeah. He just happened to be.
It wasn't a Packers jacket. It was a Jonathan Owens jacket who happened to play for the Packers.
Very big difference. So like if a cop, let's say this was like a crime scene and that's the jacket that they found in the crime scene, they would say we have a Jonathan Owens jacket yes they'd be like oh wow look at this jonathan owens jacket simone biles must have been here did it have it's got to be the only jonathan owens jacket in the world have his name on it yeah it was all over it well his name like because there were pictures of him as a green bay packer where it said oh he happened to play for the packers there was a giant just Green Bay Packers logo on it.
It's merely a coincidence she'll get it straightened out for week one. I guarantee that she doesn't show up with that jacket week one and if she does, jail walking boot for her other foot.
Do you guys want to embrace debate? Yeah let's do it. Okay embrace debate.
There's a hot new debate out there because flag football is going to be in the olympics in 2028 yep and uh we've heard from several nfl players saying that they want to represent the united states in that event like joe burrow said it in part of my take i think tyreek hill has said that he wants to be on that team one person that's not taking too kindly to this is the quarterback the current quarterback of the U.S. flag football team.
His name is Daryl Hoosh Doucette. Who?

Hoosh is five seven uh-oh immediately wait so a five seven man is upset a five seven man is upset gotta watch sound the alarm yes it's not good for history he's very mad uh he said i think it's disrespectful that they just automatically assume that they're able to just join the Olympic team because of the person that they are. They didn't help grow this game to get to the Olympics.
Give the guys who helped this game get to where it's at their respect. So he thinks that if Joe Burrow wanted to step in, he's not going to be good enough at playing flag football because he's too used to playing real football so okay um hmm so all he wants is respect he wants respect so respect respect also the backup quarterback is the most popular person in town you just might be getting more popular this guy i feel like he timed this incorrectly i know that it was right after the o.
He had to wait until, like, when they're deciding the team to start saying this stuff. And there are probably some rules that are different about flag football from the NFL that you can exploit if you know the game better.
Yeah, you can't tackle. But I'm saying if you probably gave, Emmanuel Moore might be really good at flag football.
Yes. But if you gave the good NFL players, like, I'm going to say two weeks to practice flag

football. might be uh he might be really good at yeah yes uh but if you if you gave the good nfl players like i'm gonna say two weeks to practice flag football i would two hours two hours to practice an hour they'd probably pick it up an hour i think if you took the worst nfl team and then made them the flag football team they would probably win the gold yeah an hour yeah i Yeah.
I don't – again, I think he mistimed this because now U.S. flag football is going to be like, we got to get this guy to stop talking.
It all came from your boy Jalen Hurts because your boy Jalen Hurts put out a video where he had like a football that was on fire, and he's like, we're bringing football to the Olympics, insinuating that he would want to be the quarterback of the Olympics. I agree that Jalen Hurts should not be the quarterback.
No. You can't do the tush push in the Olympics.
No. Jalen Hurts should not be our quarterback.
No, no. You guys are a part of the media that just hates Jalen Hurts.
No, I don't want to. Actually, he hasn't thrown enough interceptions to be good at flag football, Max.
Maybe he should be because he's so good at 7-on-7. That's true.
In practice. Yeah, that's true.
Flag football is essentially seven on seven in practice. Enjoy your preseason, buddies.
All right? We will. We will.
I'm so excited for football. There's a chance.
There's a chance that how the Eagles finished last year is how they start this year, buddy. So you want them to lose to the Packers week one? Okay, you got me there.

Yeah.

God damn it.

We're going to stream that game.

I'm going to bet a house on the Eagles.

What's the line in that game?

Fuck, you got me there.

No, I can't.

Max, I would like the Eagles to start fast.

I can't wait for the regular season.

I can't wait to play you twice, Max.

Yeah, we're going to do that. That's a Thursday night rivalry season.
I can't wait to play you twice, Max. Yeah, that's going to be a—we're going to do that.

That's a Thursday night rivalry game we're going to do.

I cannot wait, buddy.

You don't mean that.

I do mean that.

Yeah, he means—

I'm very dumb.

Right now, he means it.

It's a revenge for little you small.

Yeah, it's revenge.

Also, I know that a cornerback's name is Emmanuel Forbes, not Emmanuel Moore.

That's okay.

I knew that.

But Emmanuel Forbes would be excellent at flag football. Yes.
Eagles minus two. Love it.
Hammer him. Minus two? Hammer him.
I'm going to take the alternate line. Yeah, I'm going to take Eagles minus 100.
I think they got the number right, wrong team. Oh, you're going to take the Packers? No, Commanders minus two.
Oh, no, we're talking about Eagles Packers. What? I'm saying I can't wait to play you.
Oh, yeah, that'll be an interesting game. is it true that you're not allowed to wear green in Brazil because it's a I think that was it's a gang thing that wasn't yeah okay I think that was the internet the internet goddess Jalen Hurst does have a Brazilian ass that's true yeah big old and Saquon and yeah wow you're bringing thees.
You guys might have the all-ass team.

They should actually see.

We should put out a Team Brazil at halftime to see.

Yeah.

Just to see.

Just to see if they could compete with the Eagles in the all-ass department.

They might be able to.

I would like to see.

Yeah, I want to know.

I'd like to at least.

I mean, competition is the best.

Hank, you would be the least popular person in Brazil.

I get arrested. Hank, you should.
What does this man have in his pants? Nothing. If you want to be able to dunk, you should go to this game, get a BBL, and then fly back, and you'd be the total package.
A jet propulsion BBL? Yeah. Do they have those? No.
They do not have jets you can put on your ass. Hank with a big ass would be fire, though.
Yeah, working on it. Would be fire.
He'd be looking right. Yeah, hell yeah.
Hank with a huge ass. Okay, anything else before we do who's back in the week? I think that's it.
Gardner Minshew is the quarterback of the Raiders. Gardner Minshew.
Congrats to Gardner Minshew. I think he's the perfect Raiders quarterback.
Yeah. Like, if you want to get back to old school Raiders football, just have a guy with a mustache that doesn't give a fuck.
He's going to ball out. He's going to win some games that you won't think he's going to win.
Yeah, he's going to give it his best, and it's going to be fun to watch. Yep.
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Who's back of the week, Hank?

My who's back of the week is Connor Stallions.

Oh, yeah.

I heard about this.

He was hired as a defensive coordinator at Mumford High School,

which maybe Huey knows a little more about. It's Detroit High School.
But he's back. That's awesome.
That's kind of like a promotion, too. Yeah.
From assistant to D coordinator. I mean, he won a championship in college.
But he didn't have a job. That's true.
On the books. He did get a job.
He got a job. Yeah.
Out of all of this. What do you think that interview process was like? I'm going to make sure we're the most prepared team in the state.
I'll cheat. I would trust Conor Stallions with just about any job, actually.
And you've got to assume that the president, whoever AD is hiring, is the biggest Michigan fan of all time. Yeah.
This bums me out a little bit because there was a moment in time last year where I really did think we were going to hire him at Barstool. And the way Dave was talking about his conversations with Connor Stallions, I thought we were going to just give him an office upstairs, black out the glass, and just be like, we don't know what he does, and just have him just hand us reports every now and then about the competition.
And just no one ever gets to talk to him, and we don't know what he does, but just let him do what he does. Like the Ernie Adams bar store.
It would have been great. I'm kind of bummed out that we don't have him on staff.
I mean, I honestly think that this guy could be a weapon in the gambling space. Yeah.
Absolutely. Have him do one pick a week.
Go out, scout whatever you want to scout. Unlimited budget.
He's a one-man CIAia connor stallion's pick of the week would have been fire yeah damn all right maybe maybe so we gotta root against him well maybe he'll come back come here i can't root against connor no i like him connor stallion's one of the best stories ever uh does he have another manifesto i'm sure he'll get one i'm sure he came prepared to the interview with his manifesto? Yeah. It was in, like, magazine letters that had been cut out? Yeah.
Yeah. He didn't show up with, like, a couple pages stapled together, like other people.
Yeah, he had a full plan. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Good who's back what? Hank, you didn't want to say that your boy is back? Oh! Yabu! Yeah. Yabu got signed.
I'm happy for him. What? not gonna mention that story no you were so excited where'd he back in the league where'd he sign for now he's on the Sixers for now what do you mean for now and that is how contracts work he is right everyone signs like a finite amount of time for their contract so yes for now he is on the Sixers youers.
You think him and Embiid are going to get along well? Of course. I mean, he's got all the confidence after dunking on LeBron.
Are you a little scared that this might be the championship piece? No, I mean, it's not going to be the championship piece, but it's a great addition for the Sixers. You love Yabu.
I love him. Right.
I'm happy for him. I wanted him back in the NBA.
We needed a power forward.'m happy that we got him but when i saw the news the only thing i cared about was what hank was thinking yeah and he's upset because we watched that that we watched the french usa game and every time yabu touched the ball he was he was a frenchman yeah you were you love him so much and now he's now he's my guy for now for now you You wanted LeBron. He's mad, Max, because he's not giving any eye contact towards your direction.
Yeah, I know. I was so happy.
I was so happy. Good call, Max.
You should get a jersey, Max. Let me put it up in the booth.
I should. I should get a jersey.
Yeah, you should get a jersey. Sixers legend.
No one even knows what other jersey he played for in the NBA. You should get a jacket, a Jonathan Owens-type jacket, but it's Sixers.
No, I don't think I would. Well, I would get it Sixers-wise.
Yeah, no, Sixers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right. Yeah.
Yabu. Yeah.
Get a whole jacket of him in Sixers gear. Yeah, never forget.
I sold a big cat that used to sell Yabu shirts. I sold Yabu shirts.
Yeah, how many? I sold two. Oh.
Maybe that's a shirt design for you though, Max. Yeah, we could repurpose that.
Yeah, no, I would love to. Hank would probably buy one.
What was his career like on the Celtics, Hank? He was, I mean, he was a backup but he was an electric personality. He was a great bench guy.
He was a great player. Do you guys still have B-Ball Paul? A lot of potential.

No, we got it.

Oh, so that's kind of a perfect B-Ball Paul replacement.

Where's B-Ball Paul?

I think he's Pistons.

Oh, okay.

I think he's added.

I think he's gotten a little bit better.

He was the definition of just like he was a,

he just banged boards and couldn't shoot.

Just athlete.

Or no finesse.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Good who's back. Good second who's back,ank thank you max good producing max uh pft my who's back of the week is camping oh because we're the boys are going camping this oh yeah yeah we are yeah we're going camping i think we're leaving monday night and we're getting back thursday right and we're in an undisclosed location somewhere in wisconsin and we're doing summer camp so we're going to be competing in games i don't really know what the events are going to be i know we're going to be sleeping in cabins um on a lake on a lake fires at night so we're the next two shows you're going to see is us from camp is there like a canadian camp that's across the lake that we can start a rivalry with go steal their shit maybe across the lake or yeah i guess yeah probably not but yeah we could try i would like to start a camp rivalry yeah uh but yeah how many people from barcelor going like 60 what 50 i mean there's like 20 competing it's a lot the boys will be there taylor and will very excited about that we might get a sober will on the podcast maybe friday just to make sure everybody knows that he's not in fact constantly drunk we should just jj check in we should get him hammered before it yeah there are some people that have been internally like i don't understand necessarily what they're scared of but they're like what like well what do we need to know about camp shane asked if there was going to be plumbing there memes mom texted saying make sure you bring earplugs in case people snore.
People will snore, for sure. Some people were like, we were sleeping in cabins and they're like, what? The most concerning part to me was the waiver that they had to sign.
Oh, I didn't sign it. So I didn't sign it either.
It's a death waiver. Did I sign it? I think somebody might have forged your and my signature, which is good because Alright, so it's on record that if we die, we can sue.
I want to retain my right to sue Hank for anything that happens because on this waiver, it says, you may encounter dangerous insects. You may encounter dangerous weather.
You may encounter dangerous bodies of water. How is the weather looking? I haven't looked.
But the insects part really freaked me out. I'm excited.
It's going to be great. So we're going to be live streaming after the yak on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.
Thursday will actually be a tape finale, but Tuesday and Wednesday will be live. And so tune in.
It's going to be great. We're going to be competing.
I think we're drafting teams, PFT, me versus you. All right.
Like salute your shorts. Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun.
It's good team bonding. Oh, it's going to be I think we're drafting teams PFT, me versus you.
Alright. Like salute your shorts.
Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. It's good team bonding.
Oh, it's going to be great. I'm very excited.
I feel like remember the Titans. Yeah, so when you see the, if you watch us instead of listening to us, you'll see us in a cabin on Tuesday or Wednesday's show and Friday's show.
It's going to be like training camp. Yeah, kind of.
We should do a hard knocks for this.

We are going to play a softball game on Tuesday night to see who gets.

The winner of the team is going to get steak and lobster,

and the loser is going to get a pack of hot dogs that they have to cook at a fire.

I'm okay with either one.

Yeah.

But it's just a little competition.

Yeah.

Competition gets everyone going.

So, yeah.

It's going to be fun.

I'm excited. All right.
My who's back of the week is uh wait can we watch hard knocks yes okay we'll find out a way uh my who's back of the week is memes and the busters guy because i think memes found the busters guy you found the busters guy we might have so this comes from wow at wow nice butt dude He said, my friend just revealed to me that he has 1.4 million points at Dave and Buster's. He showed me the menu and said, get anything you want.
The most expensive meal is 2,200 points. Fuck yeah.
This might be the Buster's guy. That's actually, you can retire right now if you're the Buster's guy.
1.4 million points. Yeah.
What is that? All right, I'm going to do the math real quick. But yeah.
You don't have to work anymore. You can just go live in a Dave and Buster's for the rest of your life.
Pretty much. This guy rules.
So 2,200 points for the most expensive. 636 meals.
Have you got the most expensive meal every time? Yeah, you could live in there for five years. So, yeah, he's got free food for an entire year if he wants.
If you're doing, like, the filet every night. Yeah.
Yeah. The, I mean, this guy rules.
And also, if this guy's at a Dave & Buster's eating every meal, he's going to be playing games and getting more points at david busters like five years is probably too slow to like little time he could probably do 10 or 15 years yeah with all the points he'll be accumulating as he eats yeah this guy rules i want to meet him um hopefully he is the busters guy the actual busters guy uh all right huey finish us off before we get to our interview with rusillo my who's back john madden yes not only in uh football video games yes but uh nicholas cage will be uh depicting the uh depicting him depicting him yeah uh uh betraying him uh portraying him yep in a movie a biopic uh directed by david or russell same guy who did a silver linings playbook and the fighter a couple other things like that he's the guy who screams at everyone yeah yeah yeah yeah but nicholas cage he kind of i saw a couple pictures of him recently kind of i could see a little madden in him yeah his face started to sink a little bit i'm looking forward to hearing him say boom i think he's going to give a great boom as John Madden. Yeah.
I'm excited for this. It's going to be awesome.
Yeah. This is, I mean, John Madden is a national treasure.
And Nick Cage is the perfect guy. Yeah.
You're basically putting two of my favorite things together, Nick Cage and John Madden. Mm-hmm.
I need a graphic of Nick Cage's depicting, crossed out, portraying, crossed out, portraying John Madden. Oh, I can't wait to hear Nick Cage describing a turducken.
Yes. He's got to go method for this, right? I hope they just...
You've got to show the making of the turducken. I also hope they make it very...
I could see them trying to find a dark angle. Yeah.
I hope they don't do that. Yeah, let's keep it light.
Keep it light. Keep it fun love fun i hope he's in character as john madden i hope that he's up in the booth actually calling games this season as john madden oh that would be cool that would be cool yeah like when they had jake jillenhall film yeah yeah roadhouse scenes at a ufc fight yeah yeah actually have nicholas cage like call at halftime yeah have it have him up there he hell he could just be in the booth by himself or with whoever's playing Pat Summerall and just have him calling the game to nobody.
I just want to see him as John Madden up in the booth. He's got to be there on Thanksgiving.
Pat Summerall. Jimmy Fallon.
Who's out? Oh, God. James Corden.
James Corden. Wait, he's, like, gone, right?

Is he?

I don't know.

I think he stopped his show.

Oh, good.

Everyone's like, we've had enough of this fat British.

Yeah, I think we all agreed to stop playing the prank on James Corden that we thought he was good.

Yeah, right.

Like, we won a war, so we don't have to do this.

Yeah.

Okay, good who's back.

What?

Who's the guy on NFL Fox? NFL Fox? Tom Brady. No, the old guy.
Greg Olson. From the Steelers.
Terry Bradshaw. Yeah, maybe Terry Bradshaw.
Playing Pat Summerall? Yeah. I don't hate it.
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
You don't even have to get him drunk. Yeah.
Yeah, just let him be. Okay, let's get to our interview with Ryan Russillo.
Before we do that, PFT, you got a couple and we're gonna do the Mount Rushmore best feelings after that. Hey, it's John Gruden.
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So head to Chevy.com and score huge with silverado today and now here is ryan rusillo okay we now welcome on very special guest one of our best friends in the whole world birthday boy birthday boy it is ryan rusillo uh thanks boys you look great why'd you wear that um's a combination of things. Like, you know how you want to reinvent yourself every seven years? Van Pelt told me that one time.
Yeah? Like Madonna. Right.
Every seven years? Every seven years. I actually saw something recently.
I'm really into earnest answers on Twitter lately. Okay.
And there was this interview, and this woman was like, what voice pattern is this? I want to start maybe talking like this next year. like you got all sorts you know and imagine if you had a friend who's like what are you just doing different speech patterns although i had a roommate in college after google hunting like blew up like he was like you don't really have that kind of accent he's like dude it's back what are you talking about um but yeah no i'm just figuring out lighter tones.
Pastels.

Tell me about those shorts.

It's a mesh cut, and it also, if I were to fall down, I'm good.

It looks like a grandmother's sweater.

Is that the loosest shirt you've ever worn?

I don't think I've ever seen you in a shirt that, like, you wear tight shirts.

Well, my arms are big.

Yeah.

So what am I supposed to do? Flaunt it.

Yeah. But happy birthday.
Thanks. Is this how you expected to spend your 49th birthday uh is it 49 for real or is it 49 joke haha you're not you guys will know when it's 5-0 you're next year i i would have guessed like 43 people have said my maturity level they're blown away and i was like oh because i look so good and they're like no you look damn good for four more because of like just your whole deal yeah well like okay i hope we know when you turn 5-0 because you so it is your birthday right we are planning on uh doing this pod today and then yesterday you texted me you said hey i actually forgot that tomorrow's my birthday so i think we will we should hang out for my birthday i was like yeah how do you forget what day your birthday is i didn't forget like if i had to fill out paperwork i would still know it but it just was one of the i just gotten back from spain everything was fucked up it was one of the worst sleeping experience i've had since i think pledge week week, pledging.
You don't sleep a lot during that, but some of you guys who quit wouldn't even fucking know what I'm talking about. It's basically bud straining, yeah? Stay with your heartbreak motel hat.
I can't take you seriously. Well, it's better than the hat you guys originally gave me.
It's also better than you showing your balls to everyone like the last time we were in. I thought about it.
I thought about it. Yeah, we put like a filter on it so that's not going to happen this time.
You and Bob Stoops, the two biggest like ball reveals on Pardon My Take History. Bob Stoops just had a fucking moose knuckle in our fans' face for a half hour.
That's good company that's true he won a natty i remember i've

interviewed bob i was in norman and it was like right when these offenses were getting out of control and so everybody was giving up way more points so the defensive-minded coaches were like losing it and oklahoma you know traditionally stoops the whole deal and so i was out the night before with you remember kevin, was it Kevin White? No, not the receiver. No, Kevin White, no, come on, Hall of Famer.
Kevin Wilson, Kevin Wilson, the offensive coordinator, ended up being the head coach at Indiana. So, like, somebody boots on the ground was like, do you want to go out drinking with these guys in Norman? And I went, yeah, fuck it, like, the staff will be there.
So I'm having a few beers, and it's a bunch of the guys on the staff. And they were like, you know, you got Bob tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, I have 15 minutes with Bob in his office.
And they were like, well, let's go over the questions. Let's prep.
And these guys have been drinking. They were, like, ready to go.
And, you know, I prepped it out. They're like, oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one. And then I got to, like, hey, I've noticed, like, on average, you're giving up way more yardage per play than you ever have before.
Like, what's going on with your secondary? And can you actually hang with the SEC? And they're like, oh, my God, he's going to kill you. You can't ask him that question.
And so I did ask him it, and he hated it. And we were in his office.
I remember he was like, what you fail to realize is – but he did make a good point that they were just running so many more plays. He had a lot of watches, too, from all the bowl games.
What does that have to do with his balls, though? Well, I like that he stuck up for himself. Yeah, there you go.
So I think there's some similarities there. That's probably why he came back to the USFL.
They don't score shit there. Nobody gets scored on him because the offenses are bad.
Stoops, though, really did have a complete makeover. He went from know if you were an oklahoma guy you loved him right you could kind of give a shit about anybody else and then once he i mean it took him a little bit longer or maybe it was just transcendent maybe it's gonna be what we see with belichick like everybody's gonna love the lovable belichick now right you're gonna be like all right but what does that mean stoops also I mean, the crazy story is his dad died of a heart attack while coaching, like on the sidelines.
So his whole thing was like, I'm going to retire before I get to that point. So that's heavy.
That's just good. But I ended up really liking him, and I didn't in the beginning.
And maybe that's what people think of me when they see my balls. No.
When I see your balls just all I think is balls yeah I actually think okay so he didn't do steroids thanks man yeah you know because we would be able to tell alright so happy birthday and hey thanks for bumping Trump for me this week oh yeah no problem were you guys supposed to have him on we were to have him on, but we actually have a very surprised birthday guest for you. Donald Trump.
Yeah. Bring him out.
Here he is. We actually, no, we did want to have you on, though, because- You want to talk about the race? Well, we don't dip into politics, but we wanted to do a little election preview with you.
Yeah, okay. Who you got? Thoughts? What do you think is going to happen in Pennsylvania? Well, I think a snapshot of any polling number right now is the dumbest thing.

This is where Ryan's going to really answer this.

No, I'm serious.

It was, like, if you look at the Vegas odds, which I actually think are really interesting with it,

the swings in a very short amount of time,

it's because no one side can keep their shit together for more than three days.

For, like, yeah.

But who are the swing votes right now? Like, who has not made up their mind? What is it? Pennsylvania? Yeah, one county in Wisconsin. Isn't it always your place, Wisconsin? Wisconsin, Michigan.
Wisconsin, Michigan. Yeah, this is where we're all going to expose ourselves as neurons.
Florida's up for grabs. That's what they said.
That's what they say. That's just one guy tweeting.
He's like, I think Florida's up for grabs. Like, all right, dude.
I do love the polling of one, though. They'll like have, and I'm talking to either CNN or Fox.
They'll just throw somebody in some place. Like, there's a perfect example.
I think there was somebody from Fox went to interview like five women that if you hooked up with, you would never tell anyone ever in your entire life. Okay.'m just trying to paint a picture here i hear you and so they were like is harris a candidate for you does does she speak to you you know woman woman to woman here and they were all like no she sucks she's an idiot and i was like okay and then the reporters like did any of you vote for hillary they're like nope couldn't stand her so you're like okay and then it gets play yeah and you're like man this this harris is not as popular you found five yeah in fucking arkansas that were never voting for her anyway like what it's when uh when people who online do Twitter polls.
Clay Travis will be like, who are you voting for tomorrow? That's your audience. If I did a poll, it'd be like, do you like the Bears or the Packers more? That one might be a lot of Packers fans.
The polling of one shit that we see where they they had another one where it was a white guy in a black barbershop. That was Harris.
That was so funny. It was so fucked up.
And he's wearing a Jordan t-shirt that he's trying to fit in. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This guy was trying to fit in. He put a Jordan t-shirt on underneath a sport coat.
Yeah, right. And then he went to a barbershop.
Not an art. Yeah, and he's like, do you guys think guys think that kamala harris is black yeah go on and it was the most uncomfortable minute of tv and then like four guys may not like her and then he tosses it back to studio but like well this election's a wrap yeah we just talked so i don't i don't understand like the polling of one phenomenon that we have where this is kind of my point about the super bowl i I say this, like we shouldn't ever be allowed on the air hours after the Super Bowl because in that window, we're incapable of having any perspective.
And it's why I always make fun of like after championships. So I actually think the rate of speed that we have with information is making us dumber.
Oh yeah. And this isn't like the most enlightening thing you're ever going to hear, but I don't think whether it's how you feel about a team historically or a player and their accomplishments historically, but if you relate it to, like, what's happening right now in an election year, like, I don't know that the tides are turning nearly as fast as everybody's pretending as it does day to day.
It's every, yeah, everything is fucking madness. I love it when you do the, is this the greatest championship team of all time? Yeah.
Seconds after it's every yeah everything is is fucking madness i love it when you do the uh is this

the greatest championship team of all time yeah seconds after it's over although i get people

that earnestly be like because i'll the joke is always like you have to ask yeah you do yeah

you always have that so that that was actually my next question i had lsu people mad at me being

like are you serious what about 19 lsu and i'm like dude you're explaining it to me yeah you're

an lsu yeah well you guys are the biggest lsu yeah. Yeah, we are.
Day one. I didn't hurt you.
We were Coach O guys. That stung.
We're not LSU guys. That's why it stung.
Are you still Brian Kelly? We were very open. We talked about it.
You like BK? I like BK a lot. You like all BK? I'm not getting at Summer House with him, but I mean, I like him.
and he's always been really good to me okay you family y'all family y'all can hey there's nothing i can say i i did have a question for you ryan are we sure the celtics are good here's my question if they win the gold does that mean the celtics are even better well it's interesting you brought that up, Ryan, because I did a little research just before you sat down here. I went back through some of your recent takes.
This was from early July. You tweeted, Is Tatum the best international player in the world? No, I didn't.
You tweeted that? Well, you want to know why is because simmons was saying that he is the best international player and so then i was making fun of it okay in the tweet didn't get that yeah you don't get that context no there was supposed to that was only for the audience of the sunday okay let's let's let's have an actual intelligent with joe house and said that tatum should get LeBron's minutes. Okay.
Well, he also with me was like, who's going to start, Tatum or LeBron? I was like, are you serious? And he was making the case that Tatum was the best international. Like his whole thing was he's the best international player.
I laughed. We argued.
It was fine. But then I used it in a tweet.
Got it. Yeah.
Got it. So, yeah, that kind of takes the sting out of it a little bit there.
Yeah, especially when you need to get a DNP. That would have been good.
You could have made me look bad. Yeah.
So is the U.S. still good at basketball? Or is it just Mickey Mouse? I don't understand what you're asking.
We have the easiest schedule of all time. I'm not sure this team's good.
Who are we supposed to play? And I said we. Someone better.
Yeah, Greece. How's your borders are? So I look like Canada, right? Listen, women don't owe me shit.
That's so profound. For the record, if you're listening, I'm wearing the hat that says women don't owe me shit.
Because it was Ryan's hat and then he didn't wear it yeah i don't wear it after my after uh well now what does it say women don't know you don't know you should oh wait i should have worn it yeah that's a great hat oh that's actually yeah you're standing with women yeah that's not a pander hat at all. Look at me.
Ryan refused to wear this hat. Can you believe that? We're so misogynistic.
We read it a totally different way. Fuck.
Oops. Women don't owe you shit.
That's, dude. I wish.
Way to stand up. Your intern is so proud of himself right now.
He's dying. Huey.
He's a gem. He's a young John Candy.
He's just looking at it. He's so happy with these outfits.
That's a lot of power. Big WNBA guy.
How do you feel about Angel Reese, Caitlin Clark? Want to say something, Huey? What do you think about that rookie of the year race? He has a podcast. It was called NBA Hole.
There was NBA Asshole. And then when he realized WNBA was a league, what, last year? Yeah.
He added the W. Yeah, for the whole.
So it's NBA whole, W-H-O-L. How did it do? Did it do any numbers? 45 people.
Yeah. And how many of those were you listening back? I listened to it back like three times, two or three times.
You understand how I was talking and stuff, my beats. But then he deleted it.
It's tough to do. He accidentally deleted 200 episodes brutal it might be better though in the long run yeah true based on what you guys are telling me yes yeah i love angel reese i think she like she has like rodman level rebounding yeah uh i fucking love her i think kate and clark potential to be the face of the league she's not there today she won't be there tomorrow three four years away from being half of that.
She'll be all right. She'll get her way up.
But Angel, Angel's my baby girl. She'll be a 20 and 10 every day.
So you're voting her rookie of the year if you had to vote. If I had to, yeah.
He should have a vote. He clearly knows ball.
Would you call her baby girl at a press conference? No, no, no, no, no. That would be behind closed doors.
Yeah, that would be behind closed doors. Okay, good job, good job healy big wmba guy all right baby girl stuff it's tough to go back and listen to yourself in the beginning he did it all the time then he deleted his own episodes it just makes you have to work that much harder to build up the library again yeah i have a i have i have a take uh that i would like to take back that i think you were right um conference realignment yeah i did that rant again today yeah it'd been you might you might be right on that 33 different teams you might be right 33 teams have changed conferences since 2001 yeah now my take has always been i'm gonna watch it no matter what and i love college and i agree with what but you are right that uh this is the first season where i'm like what what the fuck's going on? And it's not even, it's the USC, UCLA, it's the Texas, Oklahoma.
It just feels off. It feels weird.
My point was always this, okay? It's much like the play-in game. I didn't think it was right for a team in certain years with the 10 seed is going to have such an abysmal record compared to the team that has the 7 seed.
And you're like, you still have of prove yourself one more time even though it's weighted to win one game at home and then another chance but like if the 10 seed just i don't know the right thing happens you're going to go okay so a team with 36 wins gets into the playoffs right team with 50 isn't remember that happened to the cardinals and the dodgers they had to like the way the baseball playoffs were one year they both had like almost 100 wins they had to play one game and you go what the fuck is the point there was what we just did for six months that's the stuff i cannot stand there was a 2015 year where the cardinals cubs and pirates all had i think it was like 98 wins and then we beat the pirates in the one game playoff and it was like they won 98 games how's this yeah and now you're done yeah you're done like we just did this for six months so my point is that like when the lakers and in golden state were going at it in that awesome curry lebron playing game i wasn't having a bad time watching it right that's not the point the point is the structure that it exists and it's the same thing with playoff expansion it's the same thing with all the realignment like i'm still going to watch for 12 plus hours on saturday but what i loved about the sport was that a Pac-12 game looked like a Pac-12 game. And then culturally, when you would visit all of these different places, the fan bases were aligned in a very conference.
It just made sense. And I remember Canel telling me that the whole conference thing was an SEC creation.
And I'm like, dude, I am telling you right now, maybe I'm guilty of pulling one thing here again, but when I was like a crazy Big East guy in the 80s and 90s as a kid and then into college, I hated Syracuse and Georgetown because I love St. John's, but I still wanted to see Cuse and Georgetown beat ACC schools, and it was kind of this fun additive thing for the tournament.
And look, maybe it won't matter. Maybe younger people will just be desensitized to the whole thing but when the acc twitter feed is congratulating katie ledecky saying the limpi are made here you're just like what the fuck the death of the pac-12 is really the part of it like i see it on dot com did you hear my the state they have the standings pac-12 standings and it's the two teams it's so embarrassing yeah well not even embarrassing it's sad it's sad.
It's sad. It is sad.
Thank you. You're right.
So you were right about that. Thank you.
I just felt like you were part of the Habs and the Habs had a hard time. I admitted that, though.
One percenter. I admitted that.
I admitted if I rooted for a team that if I was an Oklahoma State fan, I would feel a lot different than being a Wisconsin fan, being like, I don't think. But you know what? Now, with how crazy it is, I can see a world where Wisconsin does get left out with it whatever the next iteration is yeah see that's the other part that sucks is that there's even though it's expanded so I'm gonna lose the argument here because you're gonna get some teams in but like the Penn State model the last couple years where I'll just be like who have you beat that's actually really good the last couple years because as soon as you actually play somebody that has athletes that can match or outmatch your athletes, then you just don't win those games.
It's going on a couple years. But at the end of the year, you're like, oh, cool, we're 9-3 or we're 11-2 because we won our bowl game.
We beat undefeated Iowa at home 30-0. Exactly.
And because Iowa finds a way because of how bad that side of the Big Ten has been now. I'm going to miss the Big Ten West.
Yeah, because it's awesome if you're decent because you're like, now we're going to win seven games. And if we win the two non-conferences that aren't power fives, then that's nine wins, and we don't even know if we're any fucking good.
And then you're ranked 16th, and then Penn State beats you, and then it's like, wow, great job. Yeah.
And I guess, like, that team, it's not going to happen now because the conferences are too tough between the Big Ten and the SEC but I think there's going to be some expansion like playoff slots where we're going to be arguing about teams that may not have beaten anybody remotely good all the way along and all they did was lose close to good teams like oh well they lost by 6 to Ohio and, like, they don't care that you score the touchdown. Yeah, what we'll see is maybe a couple, like, very entertaining early matchups where the two teams are, like, similarly mismatched against each other.
And then the top four teams are just going to kick the shit out of everybody in the second round of it. But we might get one more fun week at college football.
Look, it's still going to be fun. everybody that's been on me about oh why don't you want expansion we have it in the other division or the other levels of college football and i go okay but i'm still obviously i'm not going to pro to him like hey let me know when the first round's over because i'm mad about it right they're still going to be great it's the same thing as the plan i just and home games are going to be cool but i think it be a really fun added wrinkle.
I think it kind of – I almost like the false hope sometimes of a Wisconsin in the right year. Or if the SEC East was down, and this is like pre-Georgia, post-Florida, in that window where they weren't great there for a little while.
But now whoever that team is is like buried. Yeah.
I mean it's set up for like they did a i think they went back 20 years and they're like who would have made the playoffs and wisconsin would have made it like seven out of the 20 years yeah this is actually great for penn state yeah yeah and it's the the quintessential team that will benefit from this and people will say to me all the time like oh well what about the nfl i'd be like you think i love in nine and seven nine and seventeen like playing in the conference championship yeah i don't actually yeah but the nfl is different because you've had wild card teams make those runs and win super bowls so like if you get healthy it does the the the difference between the best team in the nfl and the worst team the nfl is a lot smaller than the best team absolutely absolutely but like i would ask like going into ohio-Michigan this year, if they're both really, really good, how are you going to possibly feel the same way when nothing's at stake? Yeah. Like, how does that not hurt? And this is the thing I cannot answer.
I can't answer it with live rights for the NBA or the NFL or, like, even people were theorizing. Like, we had even heard, like, how come these owners are selling these teams? Like, oh, wait, are they hearing that the new TV deal actually isn't going to be that good? And you were hearing, like, a couple more teams were even available that haven't even been sold yet.
And I'm thinking, like, oh, wait, this might be the bubble. Like, everybody's a bubble expert post a big short, and everybody just keeps it bubble, bubble, bubble.
Read the book. Great job.
Read Bo what's that that was the other michael lewis but i only read michael lewis books because they always make movies they never did i don't think boomerang's a tough script maybe mckay can pull that one i probably won't do it so what's boomerang boomerang is i think the extra research involved with like different economic failures around the world and it's so great because we're also reading it after the result so it feels like every single page it's like what they thought this like this is the dumbest idea ever like they were going to start some resort i think in ireland and it was like near the water and there was like this one sheep farmer who lived there and they tried to start it all up and it was a fucking disaster and then the guy was like i've lived here my whole life and i've never wanted to be here one day i didn't know why a resort was and then greece during their nonsense they don't pay taxes yeah and when i went to visit greece which was a long time ago i was i just finished boomerang so i was like hey what's the story with you guys i know it's not a popular topic for me my brand but i was like what's the story well these are with you guys? Well, these are international taxes. Yeah, yeah.
You can do that. I was like, what's up with you guys here? Like, you don't pay any taxes? And every guy I met was the only guy in Greece that paid his taxes.
He's like, no, I do, I do, I do, I do. I got to read Boomerang then.
Yeah. Boomerang.
Didn't Michael Lewis get, oh, no, it was the blind side. It came out way out.
How did that not come out right away, that he was like good friends the twoies? That was the whole thing. Oh, yeah.
That all came out last year where it's like, oh, actually, he's like very good friends with the family. And he just never said that.
I love Michael Lewis books. Oh, they're great.
But and I've had him on and I love that he's been nice enough to come on with me. But like when I read Moneyball, the first thing I thought of was like barry zito hudson and molder never get fucking mentioned and or uh tejada right yeah but it was really about like you have three ones in your rotation you're all making no money that's why you drafted great pitchers like they did they made the entire movie too they didn't even show them on screen i don't think right they might have showed molder on the back and it just kind of speaks speaks to how we can all work.
Somebody had said this recently about John Oliver.

John Oliver's monologues are probably the best in the business.

I saw this.

And they're unbelievably convincing until he does the one on the topic that you know.

So if he did an NBA one, because my range is rather limited.

I was trying to check the pre-mark in Japan going, I don't know what I'm fucking doing.

Just go to bed.

Like, wait, so our yen debt is what? We carry the the tube. Be like, you're fucked.
Just turn this off. When I saw that Oliver Point, I was like, yeah, maybe.
If I knew more about, you know, international smuggling. Yeah.
But I don't. But goddamn, an accent.
Yeah, it's the accent. And a great setup on HBO.
I can't hang with that. I saw that, and then it bummed me out, because then I i thought about people who listen to us who are experts in whatever we're talking about yeah but you guys you admit when you're not that's what yeah we're actually very rarely wrong though the craziest is it true very rarely the craziest thing to me is that like when we go when we travel the amount of like nfl scouts or like college football like coaches say they listen i'm like why like how could you just laugh at how stupid we sound like you have to think we're the dumbest people in the world but you're not presenting yourself like the rest of us like i try to present myself as like i've got it and if i'm wrong it only means the data was wrong not the analysis i i think i think the scouts and coaches like us because they they listen also to like serious sports talk radio with people that present themselves as geniuses and then we are just the much much more dumb version of that hey look when a gm says he listens i apologize too yeah i always feel bad i'm like there's no way that we're saying anything that you think is interesting because think about like the way the media is covered like if they're in the world of podcasting and you or I, Big Cat, will text each other and be like, can you believe, did you see this? Here's a perfect example.
Fuck it, I'll just say it. Because I think it's the funniest leverage leak of all time.
There was an article recently about Stephen A's new contract. It was like, if they can't figure it out, he may go to politics, he may go late night, or he could get into acting.
And you're like, you know what? You're like, that's one where you push back and go. I mean, he's going to sign for a huge number because he's really good and he's really valuable and he draws eyeballs, whether you love him or he works.
Right. But acting because he was on General Hospital a couple episodes, like, come on.
We should do that for us ourselves next time. They might do porn.
After I saw that i was like you know whenever i'm up here i'm gonna i'm gonna leak i'm gonna leak something to somebody i don't like yeah but when you see our world covered it makes you just cringe yeah like that's not even what happened it's not how it works even we talk about sports for our entire professional lives like i can watch a game and have a feeling about a player but the number of times where somebody's been nice enough to be like hey i heard about like what you said and i understand how you got there but actually like this guy was like doing this and then this other thing and you're just like fucking a yeah we have no clue yeah so don't listen anymore unsubscribe except skip bayless he knows what he's talking about r.i.p skip are you okay uh no i'm not okay thank you guys appreciated it way more than i ever thought you would have i mean him his whole thing i never was the biggest skip guy pft is more of a skip i i just appreciate him that's exactly right i don't like skip bayless i don't although he was very nice to me the one time i met him it was at we were in bristol yeah you got some juice though i did no no i don't everybody everybody was kissing your ass this is no no no pre-juice pre-juice showing up what's the date of juice uh well this was 2000 aj after juice 2017 was probably the date of juice this was was 2014. Yeah, so very pre-Juice.
Yeah, so no one knew what I looked like. What were you guys even doing there? So I went up there because we won an auction to do a behind-the-scenes tour of First Take.
And so I went up there. I just sat.
I watched them tape the show, which was wonderful. It was the day that...
What's the dude's name on the Jets? Punched Shino Smith in um ek in impala or whatever yeah broke his jaw and then they had a very mature conversation about that skip and steven a just yelled at each other for about three hours and then afterwards i went up introduced myself to him and then skip just sat down started asking me about like where i'm from what seems I like. He didn't know you were in the media, though.

He just thought you were a random guy.

He thought he was a random guy.

But we talked for like 15 minutes and just had a conversation.

He didn't have to do that.

So I was like, okay, Skip seems like a good guy.

But no, I've never been a fan of Skip, but I appreciate how crazy he is.

Yeah.

And what an insane person to have on TV.

We're so lucky to watch this guy. The one person in the history of the world that thinks that LeBron sucks and Tim Tebow is great.
And there's nobody else that does that. But he truly believes that.
I don't know if he truly believes it. You're never going to get me there.
You don't think so? Yeah, that's where I always falter. Where I'm like, I think he does a good job.
When he said Bronny's more clutch because of Call of Duty. That's a great take.
It's unbelievable. That's a great take.
I mean, I give him credit for getting there. Great take.
Because I wasn't going to workshop that one on the back of the pad at any point. And, well, he beat Grant Williams, who I still don't know why Grant Williams is there.
I had to double check to make sure that he wasn't in the Summer League still. Well, not in Summer apparently he like wouldn't leave the call of duty which is crazy like days i don't know i'm not i'm not reporting that dog in him yeah maybe he just was like look you guys can get shots up i will too yeah what do you think about the fact that brawny goes by brawny like in the record in the uh the box score it's b james it's not l james hadn't really thought about it a lot yeah you should consider our mind when we saw it by the way another take that you were right about uh bad idea for us to try to do anything with the espn that was just me being competitive that was our juice days yeah rated t for teen my name is Paul Heyman.
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Because one of the most fucked up things that happened when you guys were brought in, because it was hilarious. And I think Big Cat and I have talked about this.
I don't know if PFT and I. I remember we were talking about Moneyball, and somehow we ended up here.
But I don't mind. We were talking bubbles.
I'm still aware, but I don't care anymore, because this is more fun. So when Big Cat and PFT showed up to ESPN, because the show was already going to happen, right? And there was a guy in the talent department who I thought was, like, my guy.
And everybody on air was always trying to find, like, their personal in the talent department to be like, hey, like, when I'm up, can you, can you, not that they were going to name the price, but, like, you needed a voice in the room. That was always the goal of ESPN.
I need somebody with some fucking juice who has a voice in the room that's going to be an advocate for me. And if don't have that it's never going to happen for you there but they were also incredibly obsessed with whoever didn't work there and was killing so there was a stretch where like you guys are blowing up and they're thinking of like how do we just hook into this right and at that point i still would stay like espn has the draw like i still think espn is an incredible opportunity for people to want to be in i mean let's not let's not there's something about being on tv on live tv that hey man it's still it goes a lot of places that podcasts don't go whatever you know you can you're gonna have issues no matter where you work okay and when it's front facing it also like puts an added pressure on it but however i felt like bigger picture things, when I walked in the door that day and was like, I'm going to talk sports for three hours.
Like it was, I didn't have many just, it was never like, I can't believe I have to work today. Okay.
Right. But when you guys were walking around, cause I'll never forget this.
Now there's buzzing and now it's every fucking on air guy going, what's going on with those guys? They're going to be doing something here. Like what's up? And we're becoming friends and we see each other.
We hug it out. And I'm kind of like, oh, and I knew I was never going to get like any special stuff.
So I didn't get too upset about it. And then a guy in the talent department was like, you're boys with them.
And I was like, yeah, like, you know, we're boys. He's like, I got to get big cat cell phone number because I want to like talk to him.
And I was like, yeah, like fucking done. I'll get you on a text thread tonight.
And so the day wraps up. I think we were, you were around or something.
You came back to see me at the studio and uh another

like higher up saw that we were hugging it out in the cafeteria or something and he was like is there any way you can get those two guys to like join you once a week like your contract's coming up but like if you could lock those guys in to like visit you once a week I'm like I don't know I might be kind of a big asker in New York like every week and so the guy that asked me to get your number, I go to Cat and I'm like hey you got to talk to this guy he's really plugged in kind of knows what's going on and Big Cat's like yeah dude I've been talking to him for a month he already negotiated a deal for the Van Talk TV show yeah and I was like and what he was doing is he was actually covering his bases with trying to make me seem like he had nothing to do with giving you this, the opportunity. Because I would have been somebody they would have gone, like, oh, Rosillo's going to be pissed when they get this opportunity.
Right. And the reality is, it's like, that was not an opportunity that I was going to be given.
Right. I couldn't be mad about you guys getting a chance to shine there.
We were so fucking dumb. Yeah, we were dumb.
We were so dumb. That's also so shitty so shitty you should have gotten paid for the entire thing that's shitty that they go like they're so concerned about playing the internal mind games and politics that they will like gaslight you into thinking that things are happening one way when they've been operating like game of thrones behind the scenes yeah like nobody should want to work at a place like that the truth and I'm not even saying it's specific to them.
I just think it's a management tactic. It's like, wait, the truth of, like, this is way worse than just, hey, we gave these guys a TV show, and, like, I know you want a different opportunity.
But at that point, like, I knew, and I didn't want to get into all this stuff again. It's just that I told you, look out.
Yeah. I was like, look out.
And we were dumb. We were so dumb.
Do you remember the list of stuff that you gave us when you brought us on onto your radio show the first time and it was like bringing outdoor cats inside at espn radio and they you guys had a very helpful list of things that we couldn't say or do on the air do you remember that i don't know one of them wrote it i think i was asked to give it to you guys one of them was literally no peeing yeah we weren't allowed to pee in the studio and they had to write that down yeah yeah i didn't write that which because that was pissed oh no no it wasn't this was not you're doing it was like i don't know if it was uh production or you know what would have been great because you don't know this at the time it's still espn you're kind of figuring it out but i mean the joy in all of the story is that ultimately you didn't need any of it no it's the best thing right it whenever we say it but they had to ask you to not piss yeah yeah yeah right that's where we it's funny that they thought like yeah we should we should put this in writing and that we couldn't burn we couldn't like somebody should have pushed back you should have hank be like hey most of this is good the piss thing i'm gonna have my attorney specifically no we it's it sounds cliche but every time anyone asked me i'm like that was literally the best thing that could happen to us because we learned it very fast early on that our audience is our audience and we don't need anyone else and it's like that and timing wise too right was right like if it had been 10 years prior you would have needed it correct um and actually you would have had the entry point that you have now because 10 years ago well i don't know we can get no but it's true but like the stuff moves so fast and you know whenever i was up i remember there were times where like it was getting down to the deadline of like me having to say yes or say no and you want your ego you get in the way and then I'd be like dude if you don't get to go back and you're gonna be like starting your morning watching SportsCenter like be honest with yourself yeah I was like I don't care if she did somebody else you're like yeah you do yeah and uh I would just resign yeah until I didn't have to anymore and uh but we appreciate you having our back there's only a couple people well um i i do mean that like i think there's always a lot of competitiveness and there's i think sometimes jealousy can be good like it can be a driving force if you're competitive but you don't want to let jealousy start telling lies like you guys are sitting there going back to like i can't believe these

guys listen your interviews are better than everybody else's they're better than mine um you know i'll speak for myself i'm not going to start saying this is why you're better than this but you have in a very short amount of time established yourself in a way that you can interview things but you're not like i remember i tried to get one coach on with you i was trying to help you this is like pre-o's you're on i'd never fucking do it now but um we stole we stole coach o from ryan yeah hand up yeah but pomansky gave him yeah there was like it was it was tough for me because it was like right after they won the national championship and then we were like all walking and you guys were like setting up to interview yeah we all made eye contact and then o's right hand guy, and it's like, yeah, I've been the guy going to games out of my own fucking pocket for 15 years. But no, this is cool.
But I did help Derek get his next job. Did you? Well, at that point, he was your guy.
Yeah, that's true. So I got Coach O, though, in July, and then they made me edit out the best answer.
So it's basically the same. Yeah, yeah.
What was that answer? Oh, how would he do against Tommy Moff moffett in a fight and it was awesome the answer was incredible it was actually like the best part of the interview and then they called me after and they're like hey can we just cut it out i go dude no one actually thinks coach o is going to beat up tommy moffett yeah like it's it's the best part of the interview right but because of my lsu ties you know i want to protect the family right yeah and then i was like well hopefully if you guys win another national championship i can get him in the

july after that one too so wait what was his answer oh he's like i smacked the shit out of something like that i mean he gave you the perfect coach oh answer yeah the whole thing and it was it was like great yeah i think he also hyped up trump a lot they said keep that in we don We don't want to divide the Tommy Moffat audience.

No, I think there was

randomly Trump came up,

I did not bring it up, and

he was just like, yeah, he was here at practice

and man, he'd make a hell of a football coach.

I was like...

That's perfect. That's awesome.

So seriously, you have no regrets at all

leaving ESPN? I can't believe we're here again

because I feel like I've done all this already.

I don't think we have. I know, you have no regrets at all leaving ESPN? I can't believe we're here again because I feel like I've done all this already.

I don't think we have.

Yeah.

I know, but I think I've done it.

We never talked about Barstow Van Tog and how you had our back, which I do like.

Yeah, Ryan.

That's something that forever will – you know – that was our lowest point,

and you know the people that have your back, and you and Scott both had our back.

And so whenever someone's like, oh, I thought you guys hated ESPN, it's like, well, I don't like ESPN, but there are some certain people there that I will die for. And some of those people have apologized to you, by the way.
Yeah. Yeah.
Which I think is fascinating. Yeah.
I've already talked a lot about this, so I know we haven't really done it. There's just not really anything left for me to say about it like it's been uh five years um the only day i i've missed it there was only one day i was in my car where i was like god damn i wish i was on the air right now it was after westbrook sucked in an elimination playoff game and i was like live radio is live radio there's something about but i was thinking about this today because i was listening to live radio and I still listen constantly.
Like, dude, the day I was done, I was in the car listening to other people. Like, I never...
It was just time, okay? It was just time and I had no idea if it was going to work out or not. I felt like the floor for me was fine, right? I felt like, hey, whatever my floor is and I have other interests and all the other stuff that I've tried to do and want to do, which has certainly taken a lot of time too.
But I wasn't, because I was older, I really was at like peace. And I kind of needed, I needed to just be gone.
Yeah. Because it wasn't.
Because you did the half in, half out for a little bit. Yeah, and that was kind of the funniest thing at the end was because the radio show was the end of 17 and i knew that was happening so i was like whatever but then i was under contract and then my buddies were like why don't you just go to the south south of france for eight months i was like i'm not as i'm not like a big enough of a deal to just disappear for a year right and then pop back up and then i did podcast, like after we all kind of calmed down after a couple of weeks and it was actually all like, nobody was really mad or anything.
And look, they wanted Stephen A and didn't want me. And I understand it.
And so, um, I was just too young. I was only 42, right? 42, 41, 42.
And I'm like, I'm too young to be going in the wrong direction um and luckily the podcast kind of timed it out right and i was able to move to manhattan beach which is something i've wanted to do for like 20 years when my buddy got traded here and i came to visit him and i went i can't believe like this is a town that people live in yeah and so i was like maybe you just move you just move and that's it like i mean it sounds lame but i cut out a

picture of like a real estate guide of like the dream home in manhattan beach and i put it in my fridge in connecticut i looked at it like every day for five years i know vision you did it and life advice happened which is one of the best segments in any podcast not the most original thing but uh but it works because of Kyle and Saruti. Yeah.
And what made it good is that it was the wives and girlfriends that don't want to listen to my NBA monologues were like, I went from walking down the street to wives and girlfriends going, I fucking hate you. You're on in the house and in the car nonstop to, hey, you're the only guy we can agree to listen to on a road trip we don't listen to the beginning part or whatever but that's i mean i you that just triggered a memory the the one of the greatest segments ever done the the who's the jerk with you and svp and in stanford steve and the question of who hates you more ryan women or men yeah that was that was unbelievable so bad you know what's funny though is like i missed that stuff because of course i felt like that was really cool stuff that we were doing like we did an entire segment of the show where we did like two segments or something i go let's just keep trying different shit like i I remember pitching's the jerk to van pelt in the parking lot at a&m for the mansell alabama game that was the rematch after he'd beat them in tuscaloosa and i was like really driven to constantly with the radio show be like let's keep trying like different dumb shit like let's figure it all out and then they'd be like and i'm like how do you not understand how fucking funny who's the jerk was like it was so good it was no one cared no one in management like there wasn't one fucking person that went hey that thing you did today was awesome yeah and that's when you're like hey i know this works like my instincts are good like why why are you not but like mike and mike were so dominant and every middle manager and up management person loved cowherd because he was more aligned with them life experience age wise and um that's something you always have to remember like when you're in creative things like i think the best creative managers can be like i don't get anything you're doing, but it fucking works.

Right.

So let's just keep doing your thing.

Dave has never listened to a single episode of Pardon My Take.

No.

He doesn't know I exist.

He doesn't.

It's not for him.

Can I tell you a Dave story?

Yeah.

So I was back at my old stomping grounds at Vermont.

Burlington means a lot to me.

I go back once a year.

Wait, I thought you went to LSU. No, no football team at vermont so i'm allowed to pick one got it that's true you do get that no football since 1974 so there are a couple younger dudes that were excited that i was at my friend's bar and i used to live like above it and then i'd get stuck on a level of grand theft auto and i would walk down to his bar and like have a couple beers i'm like i'm fucking stuck in the parking garage dude you gotta take the drone and i'd be like all right and then i'd set my alarm at 11 59 a.m and be like all right up bright and early um and this girl comes up to me she's like are you dave portnoy because all these younger guys are really excited.
And I was like, I'm not.

She was disappointed that i was yeah yeah you should have gone with it should i yeah i'm like i used to love it when you did the uh the boston accents what segment was that you and svp state of the nation state of the nation yeah pulse the nation yeah election year i yeah pulse the nation you have like dropkick murphy's playing in the background and just yell at each other for like two or three minutes it was a great radio show it really was i listened to it in my car during my lunch break but like this is the kind of the lesson and all that stuff is that the show the first two years wasn't as good as people remember yeah okay because that stuff takes a really long time. Like it actually takes a long time.
And like Scott and I were not friends. He had just heard me filling in and he liked me.
And there was this one segment I did, ironically, looking at everything that it said was the greatest Superbowl, greatest tournament, greatest golfer, greatest, all these, although Tiger is probably a pretty good choice at that time. And I went through like 12 different things and I'm like, there's no way we're this lucky that we've had these 12 things happen in the last calendar year.
Like there's no way we're this lucky. And Van Pelt like called in, but we had like a hard break.
We couldn't take them. And then he saw me and he was like, Hey, that was really great.
And then he came up, they were going to give him to Rico slot. Cause Rico couldn't keep doing everything that he was doing.
And I still think to Rico,

if he just said,

Hey,

I'm just going to be radio guy.

I think he would have been like the best radio talk show host,

but he's doing the Olympics and world championships and everything.

So that's probably a little bit cooler.

But I remember like Scott's a watch everything guy.

I'm a watch everything guy.

Scott's probably a little insecure about transitioning from tv to

radio i'm insecure just because i feel like what do you guys think i'm the fucking help here like

an elf in the north pole like i got shit to say yeah and so we're the we watch everything guys

battling it out and the show was okay but there was this part after like two plus years where

he told some story about like getting filmed by a bunch of like high school kids and a little

Thank you. was okay but there was this part after like two plus years where he told some story about like getting filmed by a bunch of like high school kids in little crossf outfits in the chipotle in west hartford and nothing makes it matter so he starts videotaping them back i'm like that's psychotic like you videotape the kids back what are you doing he's like how do you like it and i'm like yeah but they're not on tv they're not on like one of the most popular tv shows in the country i go tell you know tell this story and you tell those stories and then you start to realize like you can watch games and have sports takes and all that stuff but like you have to figure out a way to get your personality in there and i mean you guys are the best example of that going but it's it's weird to get the buy-in if nobody knows who you are like day one i'm going to be mr personality who's going to care about all these things but when you start fucking around more with radio shows yeah and podcasts and you just go like the best segments we have are probably before we even start live advice we just check in with what kyle's up to yeah that's the best stuff yeah you want to be you want to know more you're investing that time it's it's more than like when i what my job is, it's, like, pretty much just being a guy that people want to hang out with.
That's the key. It's, like, we need to do a podcast where people want to listen and be like, I could be friends with those guys.
Yeah, and you guys have a higher approval rating than I do. I don't think that's true.
I do. We have a pretty higher approval rating.
We actually get a lot of that. You were talking about earlier, a woman coming up to be like, I can't stand you.

There's so many people that we talk to.

It'll be a guy that comes up, gets his picture taken, his girlfriend's taking the picture,

and she's like, he makes me listen to you guys all the time. Yeah.

We get that a lot, too.

A lot.

We're really complimenting each other a ton right now.

Yeah, we are.

So the real reason we had you on today is I'm having a fourth kid kid no i'm just kidding fuck that no way why not you got the money for it it's not money it's four kids is a lot three kids three's a lot i'm gonna survive three's a lot you think five basketball team philip rivers you'd make a great dad i would you because i've heard jd vance he's calling you a cat lady i know he might lose me do you have a cat what's your cat's name be careful jd you might lose ryan no um you know i named it montezuma i just got done reading conquistador buddy levy you it out. I don't know if you're – you might have a cat.

I think he does.

Remember when we went to your house after COVID

and we were the first people to be in your house in like three years?

I know.

I gave myself an extra year of COVID.

No one was built better for COVID than Ryan Roussela.

No, my friends said the same thing.

They're like, you're fine, right?

Yeah.

But then I like – another year went by and I was like,

are you guys going out?

Oh, shit.

You got to do it. You start saying no to too much stuff.

I'll tell you right now, if you're going to be by yourself with a fucking cat, say yes

to more stuff.

Yeah.

Those calls stop coming in.

Yep.

And then all of a sudden you're like, all right, I don't have any kids and I don't have any

friends.

Yeah.

So yeah, I named the cat after Montezuma because I'd read this book and I, I'm going

to share something.

I've been having a lot of colonizer guilt lately you guys know what i'm talking about yep yeah although i feel like spain just gets a fucking pass big time right big spain absolutely does but it's only because they like they lost some wars in the united states right right the netherlands too oh the. Yeah.
Early. They get a huge pack.
Federal Reserve. You know who gets a pass is Belgium.
Yeah. Reserve currency.
It's crazy. Tulips? You should do that.
You should try that out. Tulips? No.
Hey, you know what? Why don't we talk about the Dutch? They colonized. I may go there next year.
We'll table it. Okay.
We'll table it, because then I't want to get off the plane and be like, you know, it's fucking like, you know, deep in Helsinki.

Right.

Yeah.

So, uh, a lot of weed.

Probably not.

It just never happened for me.

Your red light guy.

No, I don't.

I mean, would I admit it?

Probably not.

No.

At some point, at some point, at some point in a a monologue i feel like you'd let it slip yeah if i did like the travel log and there's just a missing part yeah yeah yeah that'd be a good redacted file i would tip it off yeah uh so you're turning anyway on tuesday and then you just skip all day so it's's Friday. Let's pick it up.
Hit the gym a couple times.

Found this great court. Played with this guy.
So you turned 49. Yeah.
Me and Big Cat, we're 39. So it's like- I'm only- Wait, I'm a full decade over you guys? Yeah.
Fuck, I got started too late. When you're in the nines, you do, at least for me, when I turned 30, and I feel like I'm having the same experience turning 40, I spend like the entire year when I'm 29 or 39 just thinking about like, oh shit, I'm almost 40.
But then when I turned 30, I was like, oh, it's no big deal. Like, fuck it, who cares? But is there anything that you want to do that you want to like, any new projects, any new things you want to get into in your 40s? I have good news that I can't share like it's incredibly good news very good news yeah so it's it's just not finalized yet and um it means a lot to me he's getting a second cat because the cat you know you know how lonely the one cat yeah this fucking guy's not gonna start dating somebody again your cat hates you well like it's just like hey man i can't be there for you all the time i think cats hate everybody not a dog i don't want to go on a i know the news i kind of want to go on a hater revenge tour for on your behalf would you give me permission yeah absolutely okay once i might do that but i just don't know like if i everything i'm trying to do everything i'm trying to do the yes, and it's like, yeah, but you need the bigger yes now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it's like fucking Qbert.
But just let me know, because I'll hit that button. You already do that to me all the time when you send me a tweet, knowing that I'm going to quote tweet it.
I do some Jedi mind trick stuff on me. Ryan's like, this guy pisses me off, so he just sends it to me, and I'm like, oh, fuck.
It's on. Or the Dune voice.
Can somebody confirm? Did Star Wars rip off Dune? I haven't seen a second of either one. There's not one guy in your crew that doesn't know the answer to that? I don't know what Dune is.
I've never seen Dune. Yes, he said yes.
Hank said yes. So that's true, because I read something that was fairly convincing, but I don't know that I want to be convinced of anything anymore.
Yeah. That's kind of where I'm at with this flow of information.
You could be telling me the best shit ever. I'm like, I don't want to.
i don't want to fall for it i don't want to get too high too low but yeah i have the these aren't the droids you're looking for and big cat will just send the tweet yeah i'll be like hey you know it'd be a funny tweet is this and then he just does it it's a good attack dog and then i just end up online for the next three hours like and i don't i didn't even mean to do it originally until he kept doing it then admitted it and then i was I was like, all right, well, now this is like too much fun. Well, congratulations on the big news.
Well, there's now I need bigger news. But the first part of the big news is a big deal for me.
I'm very happy about that. I probably need to keep pushing myself professionally to fill whatever fucking void some therapist would tell me that I have, which I can already figure out on my own.
So, um, no, you don't need a therapist. No, I, I'm, I'm good.
I already know everything they would say. It'd be pretty fucking obvious.
And, uh, I'm, I'm like way happier than I've, I mean, I'm, this isn't the question you're asking me, but like to, through the specifics of like the age thing. It's funny.
Cause i was the youngest guy until all of a sudden overnight i was like now i'm older than everybody yeah but that's also because most people are like you know people with kids don't invite you to stuff because they don't think you would even want to go right why would you even want to come to this um but i i've worked really hard on on this thing and we right. There you go.
So we got to wrap this up. I mean, it's, it is awesome.
We, we love you, Ryan. Uh, rowback question.
Last question. And we'll get out of here.
RHOBACK.com promo code take 20% off first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
One answer. Who wins the NBA title next year? Ooh.
That is spicy.

Yeah, that's already, you've used all your words.

One answer.

One word.

It could be a team.

It could be a team.

It could be a vibe.

One guy.

A vibe.

North America.

North America?

No.

I think it's really, really tough tough to repeat so i'll just say nuggets

oh okay i like it uh do you do bracketology for football it's gonna be challenging yeah i love how the other sports try to capture the magic of the 64 teams you can't do it and like nfl.com will have them like hey did you finish your bracket okay, it's done. Yeah, but listen, there's a spot here now because Joe Linardi, he pissed me off last year.
He admitted that he was going to sleep during a conference final game. And it was just like, what do you mean you're sleeping? It's the one day he has to work.
Literally, this is it. You get one week.
He's like, I'm going to bed. Like, what the fuck?

It was Saturday.

It was Saturday.

Yes, it was Saturday.

It was Saturday the night before.

Max and I were so mad.

Saturday conference tournament.

So mad.

He was like, going to bed.

Like, what the fuck?

I think it was he missed the Oregon, that crazy triple overtime game.

Or no, that was in the tournament.

Either way, he went to sleep on conference championship Saturday.

And so someone, some young whippersnapper is there for the taking. Young whippersnappers are everywhere.
You know what? They're also cheaper too. That's true.
They are. Yeah.
Placement level whippersnapper. Yeah, I don't know.
I imagine there would be somebody that they'll try, and I mean this like in general, of like, hey, we're going to pretend that the projection of the 12 teams is like like dude i could do this in five minutes it's not that fucking hard alabama ohio state clemson texas michigan i just can't wait for the 12 13 14 team arguments yeah maybe two lane and there's gonna be a 14 colorado like a team ranked 14th you're like you stink yeah you haven't beaten anyone yeah and you want a chance for the national championship don't forget about the six point loss to ohio state right when they were up 14 yeah all right ryan you're the best thanks a lot guys subscribe to this podcast ryan russillo podcast uh and yeah let's go celebrate your birthday sounds good mount rushmore is brought to you by buffalo wild wings book your fantasy football draft party at buffalo wild wings to get a fantasy championship ring book at buffalo wild wings dot com slash fantasy b dubs is football let's go sports bar book at buffalo wild wings dot com slash fantasy. That's at BuffaloWildWings.com slash fantasy.
That's

BuffaloWildWings.com

slash fantasy.

Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

It is getting

late and tight

in the Mount Rushmore season.

We have six

Mount Rushmores left.

The standings are Max, who's clinched.

61 points. I have 53 points.
PFT has 45. Hank has 41.
So Hank is four behind PFT. Yep.
Reminder, the points go 4, 3, 2, 1. So Hank, if you win this and PFT loses this Mount Rushmore, you'll only be a point behind.
So each one matters. It does matter.
And I'm not clear either. I could have an all-time choke job and falter down the last six ones.
So Hank. We let Hank pick this one.
Yep. He's went with Mount Rushmore of best feelings.
And Hank is up first. Weirdly.
Go for yeah i'm up first how are you feeling i feel bad i feel uh i feel nervous i feel paranoid uh but i feel excited i'm excited to have the opportunity to try and make the most of the season and go on a late season run yeah ball guy talk right there yeah i'm excited honored to have the opportunity. Yeah, and you are...
Just got to peak at the right time. I am happy that we had the moment of clarity a couple weeks ago, or maybe it was last week, where you just came clean on the fact that you're bad at this, so you lash out and you accuse everyone else of everything because tonight when we were picking it, you came in and accused us of...
Caho. Cahoots.
Cahooting against you. There's been a couple times where you're like, pick one, and then I pick one, and then you just say what you want to do.
No, we ended up with what you want to do. I know, I know, but that I was.
You picked stuff that we've already done. Wait, flag.
Flag on the play. Thank you, PFC.
Because Hank gets coddled to and catered to more than anybody in Mount Rushmore. You have to keep him happy.
It's always Big Cat being like, Hank, what do you want to do, Hank? Yeah, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? You are coddled when it comes to Mount Rushmore. The only reason I said today.
And you know it's true. No, how many of the Mount Rushmore have I picked this year? Hank, the only reason I protested tonight? I think we've done this before.
Which was a different one, which we're not doing. But then you admitted that it was too close.
Yeah. So I was right.
Right. So apologize to me.
But you still want to do... Yeah, I apologize.
I was trying to help you with the other one. No, I said I'm paranoid.
I said I'm paranoid. I said I'm paranoid.
I said we should do... I'm still not not paranoid, but I'll admit that I am paranoid.
You're blindly accusing cahoots. I said that we, I offered up, because I did ask you to pick.
Felt like cahoots. Well, I asked, I said we should just do the Mount Rushmore of words that start with B so you could pick boobs, one, one.
I was trying to be your friend. But I was in the room.
This is also nonsense. It doesn't matter for the podcast listeners.
Oh, they love this. Are you kidding me? This was a conversation.
conversation i was in the bathroom taking care of business you guys were in the same room and big cat was usually when he's like pressing to do something that he wants to do all of a sudden pft who was in the same room with big cat it felt like they guys had come to a game plan and then said you know what let's say i was impressed i said that was a good topic and i wasn't pressing i said I said, let's do B-words so you can get boobs.

All right.

So in conclusion, Hank, when we say-

You are paranoid.

I told you.

When we say, let's don't do this topic, you're like, that's bullshit.

Then when we say, yeah, let's do that topic, you're like, what's your anger?

I know.

I was good with it.

I'm like, all right.

But I felt like cahoots.

Usually when you guys let me-

It sounds like we can't exist.

Okay.

It sounds like we can't exist. Usually when you guys are like, you know.
PFT's exactly right. I told you I was paranoid.
You are paranoid. Okay, Hank, best feelings, Mount Rushmore.
I also feel like I figured out the cahoots, but we can get to it at the end. There's no cahoots.
No, we'll get to it at the end because I could be wrong. I probably am.
You are. My motto is anytime, anywhere.
I'm just running the ball. I'm going with the theme.

The listeners, I hope, appreciate it.

I'm just going with feeling boobs.

I knew he was going to do that.

That's why I said the B word.

You left a massive gap at the second pick.

Now Max gets 1-1.

This is your three Mount Rushmore topics that you wanted to do was simple pleasures, best feelings, and then I was like, let's just do B-words because you just want to do one that you get boobs. Yeah.
Okay. I cannot believe.
I almost don't even want to take this. What are you doing, Hank? It's crazy he did that.
What are you doing? His brain is just thinking boobs. He's like, if I get boobs, I win.
That's why we should have done B-words. I know, I know.
What was that, Hank? This is the most obvious one. You picked this because it...
What happens after you feel a boob? That is what feels better. That's a high-pressure situation.
No, it's not. Having sex.
1-1. What does.
What does that include? Sex? You want, what do you want? Like head? Yeah. Getting your dick sucked.
You want your ass eating? So this is just going to be like different forms of sex throughout this entire Mount Rushmore? No, no. We'll all get sex and he'll just have feeling boo.
I guess. All right.
So, Max, you get all of I mean, I don't care. I don't care.
Alright, you get all of sex. Take all of sex just so it's a little bit of variety on this Mount Rush.
All of sex except TF. Yeah, he would never pick that.
Yeah, you hate that. Do you understand? Yeah, I knew.
I realized. I realized.
When did you realize? I just, that's what I said. said i'm sticking i stuck to it i i kind of realized i know your brain so well that when you said best feelings i was like that's what you guys talked about in the room all i said was pft i made that conversation happen in the game here's exactly the conversation i was right about the no you weren't because you said best feelings and i said pft he just wants to take feeling boobs so why don't we just do b words but then why did pft say feelings because he was like he because honestly i knew you were going to take boobs and then max was going to have that and that conversation happened correct yeah because it was obvious what you're doing it's not cahoots we just accurately predict how stupid you are yes not cahoots but you guys are acting like when the weatherman it's going to storm later on today.
Are you like, that weatherman's in Cahoots with God? Let's just get on with it. I think Hank's doing this on purpose for content.
The way that that I cannot believe that you just did that. There's no way you're this dumb.
He took off his headphones. Your vision of Cahoots, you knew what the wrong pick to make was and you still made it well no he didn't know till after paranoid yeah he didn't know till after oh i yeah whatever you still took feeling boobs yeah which is a good feeling i'll give you that yeah great feeling fourth round the best feeling yeah okay so max has sex and hank has feeling boobs it's a good pick max i i still't believe that Hank did that.
Like, that had to have been on purpose. Yeah, okay.
There's a lot of good feelings. There are a lot of really good feelings.
I got a lot of feelings. Me too.
Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go with...
Right when you get drunk. That's a good feeling.
The moment you get drunk.

That's a good feeling.

So just being drunk.

Yeah.

Drinking.

Drinking.

Drinking is my choice.

Okay.

Drinking beers.

That's a good pick.

I like that one.

Thank you.

I like that one.

It's no sex.

Okay, so I have two.

Okay. All right.
When the perfect song comes on. When the perfect song comes on.
It could be at a party in your car. You know when it happens.
When the perfect song comes on for the vibe. That would be the exact pick.
When the perfect song comes on for the vibe it'd be nostalgia anything there's just no better feeling than just like damn this song um and then my second one i'm gonna go with the 30 minutes before the ncaa tournament tips off that's good pick great feeling great fucking feeling everything i'm gonna win everything this. This is the best four days of the calendar year.
Just love that feeling. Bottle up that feeling.
Sell it. I would take it over feeling boobs.
Not me. Okay.
You don't like sports. I love sports.
And you love women. I love sports.
Okay, PFT, your next pick. All right, my next pick is going to be your dog greeting you after you've been gone for a long time.
Good pick. Good pick.
Had it on there. Yeah.
Yeah. The wag at the door.
Great moment. Blake does his tail in a circle when he's really happy.
Yep. When I get that circle tail going, he cuddles in.
Yep. You feel like the king of the world.
Jumping on you. Yep.
That's a great pick. Max.
Meatballs. Oh, that would be great if did it.
Picking meatballs in another draft I've won.

I'm going to go winning a championship.

Yep.

Okay.

That's a great feeling.

As a fan?

Great feeling.

As a fan or a person playing?

I'm just going to say winning a championship.

There's a difference, I think.

No, you could take winning a championship. Winning a championship.

Winning a championship.

The fans are part of the team.

That's true. Yeah, we say we.
They're a big part of the championship. The fans are part of the team.
That's true.

Yeah, we say we.

They're a big part of the team.

They're actually the team.

Right.

Hank.

I'm going to go with waking up Christmas morning as a kid.

Had it.

That was going to be my next pick.

Good pick, Hank.

Here we go.

Let's rebuild.

And payday.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

Nice one.

Nice one, especially if you don't pay taxes like Hank. I pay taxes.
Payday's extra. You got zero.
Okay. Good picks, Hank.
Thank you. Kind of bringing this back around.
It's a snake. Yeah.
I am going to go leaving work as you start a vacation. Yep.
Yep. That's a good pick.

Eh. Eh.
No, I'll actually push back a little on that just in the fact that I hate traveling. Okay.
Like, I like getting to the vacation. Yeah, like opening the hotel room.
Yeah. Your vacation.
Like landing at the vacation is my feeling. Okay.
Arriving at a vacation destination. I don't know.
So I it's less so for us, but more so for people who have a 9 to 5 at 5 o'clock hits. Yeah.
And you know you have a week off. It's the best.
Yeah, I just hate traveling so much. All right.
I'm going to go similar kind of to Max's pick. Quitting a job you hate.
Good one. It is a great feeling, especially that drive away from work.
I remember when I quit my job that I hated, the last job I hated. It was, I don't think I can ever replicate that feeling in my life.
Yeah. Great one.
I would do that over touching boobs all day. Great one.
All right. I got two.
I got one that I have to do that you guys are probably going to be like, but I have to do it. But here's the other one.
This one tells me this is kind of the inverse of winning a championship. This is showing myself as a loser.
But watching your enemies or rivals fail is a great fucking feeling. Your enemies or rivals? Yeah, enemies slash rivals.
Oh, slash rivals. Or lose.
I thought you were saying enemies or rival like when Aaron Rodgers went out on the field the first time with the Jets. Yeah, watching your enemies slash rivals lose is such a great feeling.
It's just a great, great feeling. Yep.
Okay. The Mount Rushmore of hater moves would be a good one.
Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.
All right. I will do...
Oh, man. Okay.
I won't do the kids one. I'll save the kid ones for honorable mention.
I'll keep it straight here. Walking into a bachelor party.
That first hour of a bachelor party where it's just they can't you can't get better vibes it's it's not hung over yet it's similar to the the ncaa tournament yeah it's just like this is going to be awesome old friends you haven't seen in forever everyone's ready to fucking rage no one's you know because by like day two you've already lost a couple people yep there stragglers. Day three, you're like, just get me the fuck out of here.
But when you walk in like that Thursday night, oh, drink a million beers. Usually the reason, usually the vibes are so high when you walk in that it ruins the rest of the bachelor party because you drink so much.
You're trying to chase that. Yeah.
Should I take becoming a parent? I feel feel like that wasn't my one but i feel like

it's got to be i might save for hank i'll save for hank yeah what do you mean yeah you can take becoming a parent why would i take that okay that's a good feeling i had a parent one i'll save for honorable mentions i wanted to go straight i wanted to play on the equal playing ground okay i will go with you can take it i'm not gonna take it you won't you're right i won't i'm gonna go with uh getting a call or text after a first date from somebody that you really like nice when she texts first maybe after feeling her boobs maybe you haven't felt the boobs yet but that's a sign that you will feel you could be feel that's pre-boob that's pre-boob holy shit get really excited about feeling those boobs that's a great feeling just anything that implies boobs will be felt yeah um yeah this is mine's gonna be pretty niche okay but i don't care I already clinched No When your rival's favorite player signs with your team Nope It's the best feeling in the world It is hitting a home run Ah Okay I did have a walk-off home run Yeah Just like the feeling Like the split second When you know you got one And it's like Fuck yeah that rocked Yeah When. Yeah, when it hits perfect.
Okay, Hank, your last pick? I will go with finding cash in a pair of pants you haven't worn in a long time. Wow.
Okay. Hey, so payday and that.
You're rich. You're greedy.
Money is great. Yeah, money is a great feeling and either seeing money in your account or you put on a pair of pants.
You're you know maybe it's the spring you haven't worn these shorts since last you know summer 20 bucks boom can i throw one out that i thought you were gonna pick there sure i mean puring a drive is such a great feeling yeah it is hole in one i'd rather pure drive a hole in one yeah hole in one. It'd be stolen Valor, yeah.
Yeah, that would be stolen Valor. But puring a drive was on my list where it's just like when you fucking hit, just crush one down the middle, there's no better feeling.
It's true. I thought you'd have at least a golf.
Maybe you just don't love golf. No, I don't.
Boobs or golf for the rest of your life? Gun to your head.

Can never touch a boob again or can never golf again?

Can I do the other stuff?

Can never touch a boob again and can never golf again.

Wait, did you just admit that sex is better?

Three, two, one, go.

Decide.

Yeah, you did.

I said that.

Three, two, one.

Golf.

Oh, you'd never golf again?

You'd never touch a boob again?

If I could do the other stuff, I'd never touch a boob again. Wow.
Not even over the world. You'd never touch a boob again? If I could do the other stuff, I'd never touch a boob again.

Wow.

Not even over the top. You'd never touch a boob again?

I mean, golf, there's a lot.

That's your one-one pick?

There's a lot of, yeah, I know.

And you didn't take any golf.

It wasn't like things that you could feel for the rest of your life.

Best feelings in the world.

I'd take boobs.

Yeah, boobs.

Definitely.

Boobs are so good.

Yeah, they are. They're pretty much much the one one pick in almost every draft uh honorable mentions my kid one wasn't kids being born it's actually maybe it should have been but it's watching uh your kid accomplish something is like the best feeling ever like just your kid being happy or feeling like they did something and like being proud of it is that one, just bottle up and just be a billionaire overnight.
What other ones did you guys have? Fallen in Love. Fallen in Love.
Good one. Huey.
Huey. You're a romantic.
You're not a boobs or sex guy. You're a love guy.
I care about the personality. Yeah.
Nailing a parallel parking spot. I had that in front of a crowd, yeah.
Yep. When there's people watching you.
Finding out that it's going to be a snow day. Yeah.
As a kid. Having a great shit.
Just one of those like. Taking a shit's good.
Like where you just feel 10 pounds. Yeah, pissed too.
But when you feel like 10 pounds lighter. Just peeing when you really have to.
When you really have to pee. That honestly, that's a really good thing.
I know. I had a bunch of sleep ones when I realized I didn't want to just do all the thing.
I had a sleep. But like to sleep with nothing to do next morning.
Yeah, no alarm. Waking up fully rested.
That was the other one. An incredible feeling I haven't felt in forever.
What about this one? You guys, going over a big jump when you feel it in the bottom of your balls. You know what I'm talking about? On a bike? On a bike or being on a swing set or a roller coaster.
Roller coaster, yeah. Getting that tingle at the bottom of your balls.
Oh, that one's a good feeling. Hypothetically successfully sneaking into a sporting event is one of the best feelings ever.
Breaking the law. Fuck.
Yeah. Should have had breaking the law on the list.
Breaking the law and getting away with it. Yeah.
Is a great one. Getting away with a crime.
Sunday night of a long weekend. That's a great feeling.
Where're just like your body tells you like, oh, shit, we got to go to. Oh, shit.
We don't. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Sunday night of a long weekend.
Sunday night. Sunday night when it's you have Monday off.
Yeah. It's a great.
The last day of school as a kid. Last day of school.
Waking up Sunday after winning that Saturday. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hitting a big hitting a game of the year taking off spanks yeah let it breathe for a little bit i took off my spanks last night after the wedding and i just oh it's incredible microwave thing when you when you when you time it when you time it and you and you get it right before the thing goes off hitting all the traffic lights oh yeah that's, yeah. That's a good one.
Good feeling. Being at a game that you know is historic is either a clinching game.
Walking into a big game. Yeah.
Whoa. That's a great one.
Oh, when you see the grass for the first time. That green through the stadium concourse.
That's a great one. Except for when it's super sunny and you're really hungover.
I had one that we've all experienced. A Schwarber home run.
Yeah, that is fun. Great feeling.
Great thing to root for. Great fucking feeling.
I had when your car starts. Yeah.
Maybe niche, but it's a good feeling. Yeah.
When the food comes to your table. Yeah.
At a restaurant. Yeah.
Oh, or also when you do the move where the food's taking a while and you go to the bathroom and then you come back and it's there that's a great feeling when the win that perfectly when the server tells you excellent order yeah yeah that's a good feeling um what else any any others puring a drive how do you feel how you feel i think hanks was good i think i think he did a good job. It wasn't bad.
The red zone countdown clock. The first one was in the season.
The single onion ring in a french fry order. That lucky one.
It's a great feeling. Going to a post-Super Bowl winning party with the team.
Yep. I imagine that would be fun.
Ringing a bell at a lighthouse. Leading your favorite sports team onto the field.

Yeah.

The Patriots also just stole the bell for the Sixers.

Like, why is it a bell?

It's a fair question.

Like, what is it?

Yeah.

Bells are in fucking lighthouses.

Lighthouses are a representation of the region of New England. Wait, but hey, you just said that the Patriots were your favorite team.

I thought the Celtics were your favorite team. The next one.
Say the next one. Your favorite football team.
The next championship. Okay, favorite football team.
Making great time on a drive. That's a great feeling.
When you're just like, I fucking crushed that drive. I thought of one of like, I didn't really know how to explain it it when you get somewhere and a line builds after you but there's no line and you i don't really know how to explain it but it's a great that's a great feeling that's a great great feeling um okay this is a good mount rushmore donating to charity yeah matching matching a donation co-hosts who donated charity yeah but actually better Great feeling The matches actually feels better Doubling and matching Doubling and matching Feels way better Telling everyone you've donated to charity Feels great Giving your seat to a troop on a flight In front of Peter King And having him write about it in his football column Yeah, that's great It's gotta be a good feeling That's a great feeling I imagine taking steroids would be a great feeling too yeah any anything with that hank not yet that'll be september okay yeah because hank turned to me uh yesterday he said it might be steroids time steroid season and fake we're gonna do some i'm gonna make a call to a former colleague of ours all right good good uh

good sport good show, boys.

Same career path, too.

Yeah, we'll see everyone from camp on Wednesday.

Let's finish off with numbers.

69 in his honor. 20.

56.

61.

99 pug PFT.

98 Pug.

Oh, yeah.

Pug got it again.

I want this to be 98.

He got it for the fifth time.

It's going to be 98.

It's Pug.

It's not the number.

98.

Oh, my God.

No fucking way.

No fucking way.

98 or 86?

That's 98.

At the bottom.

It's on the bottom.

I don't know. 98? Oh, my God.
No fucking way. No fucking way.

Is that 98 or 86?

That's 98.

At the bottom, it's on the bottom.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck, Pug? This fucking guy.

Pug, you are a-

Maybe it is just me, Pug.

Oh, my God.

You're a fucking magician, dude.

Pug is a problem.

How did you do that?

It's 98.

PFT, do you want 98?

Yeah, you can take 99 back.

No, you just need to have Pug tell you what number to pick.

That's insane.

It doesn't matter because whatever you pick.

Two in a row on different numbers is insane.

I got to get out of 99.

It's yours again, Pug.

This guy just dominates this machine. I'm hot.
I'm hot, Pug. What a legend.
Fucking Pug. He's the perfect guy to have this, too.
Yeah. God damn it, Pug.
That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen. Just walks in after six.
He's got six. Yeah, you gotta go to the Jordan.
Six. He's got a just spread your fingers out.
Pug.

What are you doing?

There you go.

All right.

He just walks in at the end of the show.

He just gets the number.

Just walks out.

Does pug things.

Goes scratch his ears.

Goes to place.

Mix his butt.

Yeah.

All right.

Good job, pug.

Love you guys.

I'm talking away.

I don't know what I'm to say i'll say it anyway today is another day to fight you shying away i'll be coming for your lover okay shying away i'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone Into your dream We love you. Okay, say up to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry.

Say up to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Take on me, take me on.
I'll hear you come and I'll do a dream Hey! Thank you. Did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving? Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red lights.
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