The 2024 Takie Awards, 28 Winners, Guest Presenters + Blake Of The Year

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners.

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Speaker 13 On today's part of my take, the 2024 Takeies are here.

Speaker 15 A magical evening in sports.

Speaker 16 Yes, we have 28 awards to give out.

Speaker 20 The greatest awards in the sports media landscape.

Speaker 3 We have everything.

Speaker 21 We have Lib of the Year. We have Take of the Year.
We have Blake of the Year.

Speaker 22 We have Viral Woman of the Year.

Speaker 17 And of course, Podcast Listeners of the Year.

Speaker 28 So it's going to to be a great show we're very excited and it's brought to you give it up for chicago sebastian maniscalco's new stand-up special it ain't right is coming to hulu on november 21st 30 years ago jeff bezos complete nerd bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 26 coming

Speaker 27 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 33 Okay,

Speaker 34 let's go.

Speaker 34 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 34 And then I love the sound of work to be done.

Speaker 34 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 34 And then I can't game all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elene Trick Ivenue.

Speaker 34 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 34 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elan Trick IV.

Speaker 32 It's part of my take presented by Arsenal Sports.

Speaker 8 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Get in on all the best ball action.

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Speaker 7 Use code TAKE.

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Speaker 44 A July 31st and it is the 2024 Takeies.

Speaker 25 Yay! Yeah!

Speaker 46 All right, so sports.

Speaker 48 Sports, if anyone is listening to their first takeies, this is our yearly sports award that we do in the middle of the summer.

Speaker 13 It basically goes from the back half of 2023 to 2024 at this moment.

Speaker 3 We have 28 awards that we are giving out tonight.

Speaker 53 It will all culminate in Podcast Listener of the Year award.

Speaker 8 The AWLs are going for a ninth.

Speaker 56 Nine Pete?

Speaker 11 Holy. Nine Pete would be a record.

Speaker 15 It would be a record for most takeies won by anybody.

Speaker 8 This is like John Wooden, UCLA.

Speaker 58 Lewis Hamilton.

Speaker 59 The 20 Yankees.

Speaker 15 The pyramid of success of listening to part of my take. You're part of it.

Speaker 60 Yeah. So

Speaker 42 it's going to be a great award show.

Speaker 14 We should say, too, if you're listening and you want to watch, we look good, boys.

Speaker 15 Wearing suits. Got all kitted up.
Boys looking nice. Even the boys in the booth.

Speaker 49 Yeah,

Speaker 63 I would say the boys in the booth are looking

Speaker 34 good.

Speaker 2 They're looking like I would say over three and a half DUIs between them.

Speaker 39 Yeah, looking good.

Speaker 64 One of them's not paying child support.

Speaker 15 Huey definitely looks like a college kid going to court for the first time. Yeah.
Like you got a drunken public ticket showing up.

Speaker 15 I'm going to put on a collared shirt, but I'm going to keep the undershirt on. Probably not fully tucked in.
Yeah.

Speaker 58 But it's a good look.

Speaker 8 And the judge is going to give him a lenient sentence because he's just going to look at him and be like, man, this kid doesn't have a lot going on for him.

Speaker 66 Well, he's going to look at him and be like,

Speaker 15 your father owns a business. You seem like a good kid.
Let's learn from this. Yeah.

Speaker 52 Max, Max might be the one missing out on child support.

Speaker 23 I can't see memes.

Speaker 15 No, Max looks like Huey's lawyer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, stand up, memes.

Speaker 25 Memes kind of looks like an accountant.

Speaker 69 Yeah, he actually looks.

Speaker 71 Jemes looks pretty appropriate.

Speaker 72 Memes looks like a pedophile.

Speaker 73 Now that I'm thinking about it, because he didn't have his glasses on, he looks like he's going, yeah, he needed to catch a predator.

Speaker 15 I was going to say he looks like an an Amish kid that went on Rum Springer and had too much fun learning how to do like uh like basic Excel operations.

Speaker 15 Yeah, so he's a former Amish kid that now loves computers and works at a tech firm.

Speaker 69 Us in here, we look good, Hank.

Speaker 75 You look like a playboy, yeah, yeah, you look awesome.

Speaker 76 Yeah, whenever you break out the round sunglasses, you know Hank is either ready to do the takeies or took way too many drugs.

Speaker 77 He looks like

Speaker 39 factor fiction, uh, fiction.

Speaker 15 You look like a Beatles drug dealer.

Speaker 70 Circle glasses play.

Speaker 82 I know.

Speaker 83 Squares are too big for my little face.

Speaker 15 It's kind of like an evil scientist type look, too. Yeah.
You're cooking something weird out. Yeah.

Speaker 83 I look like a tech, like a tech. I'm in tech, but I'm really just like selling drugs.

Speaker 15 You look like a futurist. You look like the guy that sits Elon down.
He comes in like the banana boat.

Speaker 15 He brings in a suitcase of ketamine and then tells him what the future is going to be with robots. Yes.

Speaker 54 I like that. Okay.

Speaker 83 That's a good job. It's a good life.

Speaker 86 We also should have said at the start that in the past we've done cameos this year.

Speaker 37 We wanted to bring it back home.

Speaker 83 Not all the time, either.

Speaker 84 Yeah, we haven't done it all the year.

Speaker 67 We did it the last couple of years, but this time we figured, let's have our friends of the program, our good friends, recurring guests,

Speaker 20 present a couple of the awards.

Speaker 88 So we have some guest presenters that will be great for the listeners.

Speaker 20 See some familiar faces, some friends.

Speaker 8 And yeah, should we do it? 28 awards to give out.

Speaker 15 Let's kick into it.

Speaker 91 Okay, so we're going to start with the

Speaker 7 take of the year.

Speaker 50 We're starting off with the

Speaker 7 bang.

Speaker 41 Set the stage.

Speaker 83 You would think the takies, take of the year, would be the finale, button.

Speaker 84 No,

Speaker 34 that's actually the preemptive take towards the end. Take of the year, we have a lot.

Speaker 1 We have a lot to get through.

Speaker 3 I want to laugh about a lot of these.

Speaker 67 Shout out our good friend, Old Takes Exposed.

Speaker 89 He helps us with this every single year.

Speaker 8 Let's just dive into it. I want to hear what you guys have to think about a lot of these.

Speaker 98 Okay.

Speaker 8 A lot of these are takes that were said maybe a couple of years ago, but they came true this year.

Speaker 42 So that's when they, you know, a good take usually takes a couple of years to fully grow and become a beautiful tree, and then we can harvest from it.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you got to give it some time until it becomes flaming hot. Yeah.
So it really reaches the truth.

Speaker 90 Yeah.

Speaker 64 So some of the ones that have come true this year that I loved.

Speaker 104 This one is from Neil Eyre on Espy Nation.

Speaker 17 This was from February 11th, 2022.

Speaker 2 The Derrick White trade is a disaster.

Speaker 106 Sorry, folks.

Speaker 8 Brad Stevens made his first major mistake as GM.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's a good take.

Speaker 7 That's a good take.

Speaker 15 That's a good take. Disaster.
Disaster. And was the trade a disaster because Kyrie Irving was on the team?

Speaker 8 I don't know what exactly the trade, why it was a disaster, but Derrick White was the ultimate glue guy for the Celtics championship run, was it not?

Speaker 83 And the first year, too.

Speaker 71 The first year was on the first two years.

Speaker 15 Maybe it it was just he was saying like Kyrie Irving will never win a championship for the Celtics with this Derrick White trade, which might have been true after Kyrie because 2022, Kyrie was already on the nets.

Speaker 15 Okay, oh, yeah, yeah, true.

Speaker 18 But a disaster about that experiment.

Speaker 47 Yeah, here's one.

Speaker 22 This will be a theme.

Speaker 96 Colin Coward is featured many times in this one.

Speaker 13 This is from 2020.

Speaker 17 This one was beautiful to watch sprout this year.

Speaker 7 Name the top 100 players ever.

Speaker 100 Hard to find many that didn't love the game.

Speaker 108 Passion matters to me, but hey, Anthony Edwards has great measurables.

Speaker 102 I don't think you could think of one person that loves the game more than Anthony Edwards does right now.

Speaker 15 But I love those takes, especially during NFL draft season where they're like, he's a great player, but is he really in love with football? Yeah. Would he marry a football? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 Anthony Edwards, I would say he loves basketball.

Speaker 21 He had a very good year and he clearly cares a lot.

Speaker 15 And sometimes you don't have to care about, you don't have to love the sport if you just love winning so much that you just don't want to lose in anything you do.

Speaker 18 Yes, yes, exactly.

Speaker 22 Here's a good one from Pierce W.

Speaker 42 Huff.

Speaker 1 This is a call that should happen.

Speaker 7 Hey, Monty Williams, this is Brad Stevens with the Celtics.

Speaker 1 I'm about to fire Joe Missoula.

Speaker 105 Would you be interested in coaching our team?

Speaker 15 That's a great call.

Speaker 2 That was Coward 2.

Speaker 1 No, that was Pierce W.

Speaker 62 Huff.

Speaker 15 It would be a very funny phone call.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 32 It would be.

Speaker 15 Yeah, Monty Williams, although he's pretty good at getting paid. He might be just a good coach at getting paid.
That's true. Yeah, I think it worked out well.

Speaker 113 Yeah, it worked out great.

Speaker 8 I want to do a little game called Who Said This Quote?

Speaker 7 You ready for this one?

Speaker 8 I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl.

Speaker 114 This is about a player that was drafted to a team.

Speaker 83 Stephon Diggs.

Speaker 70 Nope.

Speaker 116 Oh, drafted.

Speaker 117 Drafted to a team.

Speaker 49 I'm not leaving until I get a Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 I'll say this right now.

Speaker 36 I could give you a thousand guesses.

Speaker 89 Yeah, I don't think you'd get it.

Speaker 15 Zach Wilson. No.
Mac Jones. No.

Speaker 77 Again, a thousand guesses. I don't think you'd get it.

Speaker 55 Ray Lance.

Speaker 14 No. That was said by

Speaker 118 Desmond Ritter after getting drafted by the Falcons.

Speaker 119 Desmond Ritter is now on the Arizona Cardinals.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's good to know. I didn't know that.

Speaker 25 Yes. That's good.

Speaker 2 So he did, in fact, leave before getting a Super Bowl for the Falcons.

Speaker 15 In Atlanta. Yeah, you should just never say that as a Falcon.

Speaker 95 Yeah, these are all very fun.

Speaker 16 We addressed this one actually in February, but it's still one that needs to be revisited because in 2019, the athletic wrote a piece and said, in case you missed it, Patrick Mahomes has thrown 36% of Troy Aikman's career touchdowns in about 8% of the games.

Speaker 23 And Troy Aikman quote treated that in 2019 and said, in case you missed it, talk to me when he has 33% of my Super Bowl titles.

Speaker 56 He now has 100% of his Super Bowl titles.

Speaker 15 That was tough. But Troy walked that back later.
He was like, okay, he did it.

Speaker 25 He did it. Yeah, he did it.

Speaker 33 He did it.

Speaker 1 This one is from Nick Wright this May.

Speaker 8 He said, by the time the Celtics adjust to playing real playoff basketball, the Mavs are going to be up 3-1.

Speaker 25 Hank?

Speaker 50 You like that one? Yeah.

Speaker 15 Yeah. That's a strong one.
That's a strong. Was Nick one of the ones leading the charge that the Lakers were actually the best team in the world?

Speaker 66 Yeah, he was one of them, yes.

Speaker 89 And then he pivoted to the Mavs.

Speaker 83 Do we get any Kevin O'Connor Celtics takes?

Speaker 72 I don't think I have any idea.

Speaker 100 He did say the war.

Speaker 34 Yeah, the Netherlands.

Speaker 83 He said every team that the Celtics were playing was going to beat them. Yeah.
Basically, picked every team to win the championship except the Celtics.

Speaker 52 He said the Nuggets, there's no chance the Celtics could beat the Nuggets in a seven-game series.

Speaker 60 A twofer for Cal.

Speaker 8 Cal said in February, we're built for March.

Speaker 15 Not April.

Speaker 78 Not April.

Speaker 18 They're built for March.

Speaker 75 Forgot about Goldkey. Yeah.

Speaker 103 And then also,

Speaker 16 the AD at Kentucky, Mitch Barnhart, said, as we normally do at the end of every season, Coach Cal and I have had a conversation about the direction of our men's basketball program, and I can confirm that he will return for his 16th season as our head coach.

Speaker 15 Then something weird happens.

Speaker 55 Then the chicken man.

Speaker 15 And the chicken man. And the chicken man gave him a call.
Yeah.

Speaker 18 These are all just fantastic.

Speaker 65 Again, shout out to our guy, Old Takes Exposed.

Speaker 22 We'll rip through a few more, and then we'll give you a winner.

Speaker 8 Mason Dodd said, hate to be the only grown-up in the room. I like this one just because he's admitting he's the only grown-up in the room.

Speaker 15 Yeah, isn't that a good idea? Yeah, hate the beauty. Teams would love that based on how he looks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, hate to be the only grown-up in the room, but Puka Nakua has no upside.

Speaker 124 Fifth-round rookie, wide receiver on bottom five teams, don't move the needle.

Speaker 15 I love the guy having a strong take about a fifth-round receiver, too. Like, hate this pick.
Yeah, I don't think this guy's going to be a superstar.

Speaker 15 You're going out on a limb, and then when he gets cut out from under you, you look like a dumbass.

Speaker 100 Not only that, but just to be the hate-to-be the grown-up in the room, like that really sets you up.

Speaker 85 Yeah, um, we had you never want to be the grown-up in the room.

Speaker 15 No, you never likes the grown-up in the room.

Speaker 52 This one, uh, you will like, Hank.

Speaker 32 Uh,

Speaker 119 Dan Orlofsky

Speaker 22 said in 2021 he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones a QB.

Speaker 52 And he said, Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw that football.

Speaker 71 Ever seen.

Speaker 28 Ever seen. Wait, what?

Speaker 15 Ever heard of the criteria that he has knowing where to go with the football?

Speaker 127 Where to go with the football?

Speaker 66 Five yards.

Speaker 128 When to go with the football.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 83 Nope. When to go with the football.

Speaker 45 How to throw the the football.

Speaker 25 How to throw.

Speaker 15 But he shortened. But he doesn't specify actually throwing the football.
No.

Speaker 59 That's the big one. Yeah.

Speaker 15 So Danilovsky might not be wrong about those two things.

Speaker 47 With, when, how.

Speaker 15 Now, there is a possibility that Belichick will win a Super Bowl at some point with Mac Jones. That's true.

Speaker 106 Can't close that door. Yep.

Speaker 122 Similar to the Cal one, Terrion Arnold, Alabama cornerback, said, Coach Sabin ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 77 He's going to die coaching.

Speaker 22 That one was nice.

Speaker 16 R.I.P. That one was very nice.

Speaker 102 Max, you'll like these next two.

Speaker 96 Congratulations to the 2023 NFC East Champion Philadelphia Eagles.

Speaker 17 That was from November 5th, 2023.

Speaker 64 And also, Colin Coward said,

Speaker 52 he said, let me pull this up.

Speaker 91 National League just surrendered to the Phillies, nothing to be ashamed of.

Speaker 13 That was in 2023 fall.

Speaker 103 Oh, that was before Max.

Speaker 98 How did those go?

Speaker 130 Not well.

Speaker 52 Personal favorite of of mine, Chad Johnson, said in September 2023, all you fucking doubters, all you fuckers doubting Zach Wilson, don't jump on our bandwagon later.

Speaker 15 I didn't, and I won't.

Speaker 74 I won't.

Speaker 15 I'm not going to. I never did.
Not going to. Not going to jump on any bandwagons.

Speaker 131 There might have been one from the Bears from training campus that Sundays are going to be fun.

Speaker 86 And then my last nominee is from Cade McNamara on playing QB for Iowa.

Speaker 94 Please just keep on saying it's the shittiest offense in college football.

Speaker 8 Please just think we are going to be so shitty next year.

Speaker 92 Please.

Speaker 18 It's a lot of pleases.

Speaker 15 Yeah. And they had a great punt system this year.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 Great punt system. Great return game.

Speaker 25 Yeah. That's about it.
Punning.

Speaker 133 Yeah, good punt.

Speaker 63 Do you guys remember any of your takes that were notably bad?

Speaker 15 I don't think I had a single bad one this year.

Speaker 125 Yeah, I don't think so either.

Speaker 15 I think I was 100% accurate.

Speaker 37 I might have said Justin Fields is the guy 100 times, but I also walked that back.

Speaker 15 I might have said Sam Howell's the guy.

Speaker 135 I might have said that there's no way the Celtics are going to lose to Luca or beat Luca.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 109 Hank?

Speaker 69 I had a good year.

Speaker 58 Yeah, actually, you did because you either won or were terrible.

Speaker 83 Yeah, I said the Lighthouse was real.

Speaker 25 Yeah, we'll get to that.

Speaker 72 We have a takeie for that. All right, so, drum roll.

Speaker 13 The winner for the 2024

Speaker 92 take of the year takeie is Dan Orlofsky.

Speaker 15 Congratulations.

Speaker 50 Dan Orlofsky, incredible.

Speaker 111 Saying he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones at QB.

Speaker 8 Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I've ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw that football.

Speaker 83 Everse scene is just something.

Speaker 137 Everseen's craft.

Speaker 2 He was like the sixth QB drafted in his class. Yeah, it was between that and the hate to be the adult in the room

Speaker 8 where I think the two finalists because it's not

Speaker 8 to win the take of the year, you have to really like do a say something in it that is so absolute that it's like, come on, man.

Speaker 134 Everseine.

Speaker 15 The adult in the the room is a tough one because you're already, you're crowning yourself

Speaker 15 by

Speaker 15 introducing your point that way. The Orlovsky take about Mac Jones is noteworthy just because of how badly Mac Jones flamed out this year.

Speaker 15 And you get benched multiple times for Bailey Zappi. It's tough to say, well, you know what? Maybe he was a great,

Speaker 15 maybe we're misremembering. Maybe we're allowing the recent history of Mac Jones to not remember how great he was.
How great he was.

Speaker 15 We'll always have that season.

Speaker 7 I also am now thinking about it.

Speaker 22 I don't think there's ever been an adult

Speaker 86 in a room that has argued about a fifth-round draft pick.

Speaker 15 No. No, that's the exact opposite of being an adult in the room.

Speaker 24 The adult in the room says, why are you guys arguing over a fifth-round draft pick?

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Hey, this is crazy.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I hate to be the only one with a level head on my shoulders, but let's have an argument about Puka Nakua. Yeah.

Speaker 33 Okay.

Speaker 102 PFT, you have our next award?

Speaker 15 Yeah, next up, we're doing, this is an award that I absolutely love. Yep.
We've done it, I believe, every year of the show. Maybe not the first one, but it's the Lib of the Year Year Award.

Speaker 15 Lib of the Year, and we've got a stacked roster of nominees.

Speaker 15 First off, Chris Long. Oh.
For Career Excellence and Libness.

Speaker 41 This is a

Speaker 8 Lifetime Achievement Award.

Speaker 15 It's a participation trophy.

Speaker 21 How many Lib of the Years has he won?

Speaker 15 I believe two or three.

Speaker 48 Yeah,

Speaker 69 he lives.

Speaker 71 He lives hard.

Speaker 21 He's like the bagel bites.

Speaker 8 Pizza in the morning, Pete's in the evening. He just lives.

Speaker 138 Lib in the morning, lib in the evening, lib at suppertime.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he's got the lib strong wristbands that he wears all the time.

Speaker 15 Chris Long's nominated Travis Kelsey also nominated. Yeah.
His outstanding work in commercial performances.

Speaker 94 Yeah, the Pfizer trying to get the shot.

Speaker 140 Yep.

Speaker 67 How much do you think he got paid for that?

Speaker 84 $4 million. Probably a lot.

Speaker 15 Probably a lot. $4 million? I'd say more.

Speaker 42 Do you think he got free shots for life?

Speaker 15 You should. Yeah.
You should. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Also nominated, we have Billy Football. Oh.
Nominated for Lib of Year. What did he do? He ran for office against a bunch of Republicans.
Oh, he must be a big lib. Must be a big lib then.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 And then final nominee is Jersey Jerry. Jersey Jerry is nominated for Lib of the Year.
He's talked on live streams a lot about how much he loves Joey B. Yep.
Joey B is his guy.

Speaker 38 Yeah, he's actually been saying, he's been walking around the office being like, oh, you guys got to just trust in Mamala.

Speaker 15 Yep, Mamala is.

Speaker 15 That's his goat.

Speaker 15 So we have a very special presenter for Lib of the Year, political commentator, Nick Adams, USA, from Australia.

Speaker 142 G'day, boys.

Speaker 143 Nick Adams, Alpha Male here.

Speaker 142 Now, this next award goes out to the most oversoid Marxist on bastal staff. It's called the Lib

Speaker 142 of the Year.

Speaker 142 This is a man,

Speaker 142 and I use that term lightly, who took dozens of hours to get a single hole in one on a golf simulator and takes his marching orders from pro-communist unions.

Speaker 142 I can confidently say he hasn't stepped foot inside a Hooters in at least 10 years.

Speaker 143 Without further ado, the 2024 Lib of the Year Award goes to Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 142 You should be ashamed of yourself, son.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you, Nick.

Speaker 49 I appreciate that.

Speaker 8 I just texted him to see if he can come accept it because I have to imagine he's so excited about this.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he's named after a state that I can't remember the last time they went red.

Speaker 28 That's true.

Speaker 145 That's true. Jersey Jerry, what a lib.

Speaker 56 Big lib. That's what when I think of libs, I think of Jerry first.

Speaker 15 100%, yeah. First and foremost.
He drives a foreign car.

Speaker 41 Yeah, that is, yeah.

Speaker 15 Interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 85 Okay.

Speaker 15 I heard he actually is a vegetarian now.

Speaker 56 Yes. No, vegan.

Speaker 15 Vegan Jersey Jerry. Vegan.

Speaker 16 Vegan Jersey Jerry is what they're calling him.

Speaker 146 Interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 101 Okay, great award.

Speaker 52 We'll get Jerry to stop in when he gets in here to accept that award.

Speaker 139 I'd like to just see his face, so

Speaker 138 how he reacts to that.

Speaker 124 Next up, we have Death of the Year.

Speaker 148 Big year for death.

Speaker 15 Death had, it put up some numbers.

Speaker 48 Huge year for death.

Speaker 138 We had that string the weekend where

Speaker 131 it was Monty Kiffen,

Speaker 16 Shannon Doherty, and Richard Simmons all in one weekend.

Speaker 22 It was like, what's going on?

Speaker 117 But the nominees, we have Richard Simmons dead.

Speaker 15 Let's remember that he's dead.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 21 He was one of those, he was definitely in the camp of,

Speaker 8 you could have told me he was dead five years ago would have been like, sure.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he would have been a great football coach, I think.

Speaker 58 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 128 For one year. Motivator.

Speaker 15 For one year, yeah. And then once things go wrong in the locker room, you're like, get this guy out of here.
Yeah.

Speaker 119 We lost O.J. Simpson this year.

Speaker 15 Rest.

Speaker 28 Yes.

Speaker 41 Toby Keith.

Speaker 25 Very sad. Yeah, Toby Keith.

Speaker 140 Legend. Yep.

Speaker 124 Love Toby Keith.

Speaker 64 And then we also lost Matthew Perry, who is nominated for Death of the Year.

Speaker 15 The talented Mr. Rotoff?

Speaker 37 No, Matthew

Speaker 37 Perry.

Speaker 84 Perry with a P. Matthew Perry.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 75 The winner

Speaker 62 for Death of the Year for 2024 Takey is

Speaker 24 O.J. Simpson.

Speaker 15 Congrats, O.J.

Speaker 110 You're dead, bitch.

Speaker 15 You're dead.

Speaker 133 You're dead. You're dead.
You're so dead.

Speaker 15 Sorry. Much, much, much better football player than human being.

Speaker 136 Yeah.

Speaker 15 And he's dead. And he's very dead.
He's He's also extremely dead. He's so fucking dead.
So dead. Dead as let the record show OJ is fucking dead.
Me?

Speaker 15 I wouldn't die. You remember when Hank found out that OJ died? Because

Speaker 15 then that was one of my favorite parts of the year.

Speaker 111 We got to actually put that clip in.

Speaker 150 That was an incredible.

Speaker 117 That was in the midst of Hank either missing shows because he was sleeping too late or he was all over the place sleeping.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you actually missed OJ's death.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 15 OJ died. Did you know that?

Speaker 25 What? OJ died. Yeah.
Oh, nice.

Speaker 151 We get to break the news egg.

Speaker 78 OJ's dead.

Speaker 119 OJ Simpson?

Speaker 134 DJ Simpson dead.

Speaker 33 Dead. How? Dead.

Speaker 15 Died by death.

Speaker 113 Dead.

Speaker 32 That's confirmed.

Speaker 45 Yeah. Confirmed.
Dead.

Speaker 1 Everyone's been talking about it.

Speaker 83 He's dead. That's insane.

Speaker 137 He is dead.

Speaker 68 He ain't coming back.

Speaker 25 That's accurate.

Speaker 14 I wish we hadn't told him.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 75 See how long could he go without knowing?

Speaker 83 He was back of the week on Monday.

Speaker 101 Wow.

Speaker 62 So, Hank, you didn't know OJ died.

Speaker 55 No.

Speaker 15 What are your thoughts on OJ?

Speaker 83 Bad guy. Yeah.

Speaker 28 Good riddance.

Speaker 95 And woke up at 11 a.m.

Speaker 42 one day on a show day and found out that OJ died.

Speaker 15 I hope everybody out there had the pleasure and the opportunity of getting to break the OJ death news to somebody. Yes.

Speaker 15 That was an honor to do that to Hank.

Speaker 55 Yes. Yes.
I didn't believe it.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 15 No, he's dead. Won the trophy and everything.

Speaker 105 Dead person of the year.

Speaker 4 Dead person of the year.

Speaker 15 We should get death back on the podcast. I agree.

Speaker 133 Recurring guest. We got to find him.

Speaker 117 So, yeah.

Speaker 83 What would you say for, like, you don't want him to rest in peace?

Speaker 35 No, rest in piss.

Speaker 15 Rest in piss.

Speaker 18 Yeah, rest in piss.

Speaker 15 R.I.P. Bozo, rest in piss.
You won't be missed.

Speaker 113 Yeah, welcome to hell, bitch.

Speaker 15 Smoking on that Simpson pack.

Speaker 74 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 65 Hell is your offensive line being 120 pounds, and you got to pound the rock.

Speaker 15 I don't think OJ would have held up over a 17-game season.

Speaker 3 Agreed.

Speaker 140 Especially 18, too.

Speaker 15 Yeah, couldn't play in today's NFL.

Speaker 58 Someone threw out the idea, which I kind of liked.

Speaker 5 Actually,

Speaker 65 I take it back.

Speaker 52 I don't like it, but it was interesting.

Speaker 131 18-game season, every player can only play a maximum of 16 games.

Speaker 58 Oh, I like that.

Speaker 34 But then I was like, I don't like it because it would really.

Speaker 21 Way too many excuses.

Speaker 22 And it would really suck to be excited about a game and be like, fuck, now we're watching Desmond Ritter.

Speaker 75 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I like it in theory because it just, it's chaos. Yeah, it's

Speaker 91 strategery would be awesome.

Speaker 83 17.

Speaker 94 You can't do two games.

Speaker 15 Everyone has to sit out one week? Yeah. This sounds a lot like Little League where everybody gets to play.

Speaker 12 And I was thinking about it, the more I was thinking about it, I was like, all right, I liked it

Speaker 65 at first, and then I thought I definitely would get fucked because I'd like bet a line on Monday, and then they'd be like, this is the game we're throwing.

Speaker 64 Yeah. And I'd get fucked.

Speaker 8 Yeah, there's so furious.

Speaker 15 A lot of reasons why that probably wouldn't work out in reality, but it's fun to think about it.

Speaker 64 It's a fun idea.

Speaker 15 It's a thought experiment.

Speaker 67 It's a very good screen.

Speaker 15 This is how rule is how dudes use our imagination.

Speaker 52 Yeah.

Speaker 16 We just think about wrinkles to the 18-game season puzzle.

Speaker 15 Yeah. 18 games is so good.

Speaker 5 We should get like

Speaker 22 what was the

Speaker 52 movie where they were cracking the code for the Nazis, or they were cracking the code of the Nazis, imitation game.

Speaker 55 Imitation game.

Speaker 101 We need that.

Speaker 22 We need a camp with nerds trying to figure out the perfect 18-game schedule.

Speaker 15 It would be very funny, though, to see if they did have that rule where each player could only play 16 games, the dumbest coaches would think that they had it figured out. Correct.

Speaker 15 And they completely screw it up.

Speaker 54 Correct.

Speaker 15 That would be like Mike McCarthy would absolutely fuck that idea up.

Speaker 106 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 89 Yeah, he'd like see one week he'd sit his entire defense.

Speaker 1 Next week, sit his entire offense.

Speaker 15 He'd sit Dak and CeeDee Lamb at the same time. Yeah.
And be like, we're using this as an opportunity to see what a roster is going to look like next season.

Speaker 52 Yeah, and then the week that they don't sit, like they would sit Dak and CeeDee Lamb, and then a different week he would sit the entire offensive line.

Speaker 97 Yeah.

Speaker 101 Dak would get killed. Yeah.

Speaker 65 It was like, God damn it, Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 15 Our computer guys, all our computer guys told us this is the right move. Yeah.

Speaker 113 Okay, next up.

Speaker 15 Next Next up, we have The Lighthouse of the Year.

Speaker 93 Ooh.

Speaker 15 The Lighthouse of the Year. A lot of good lighthouses out there.
This is a huge year. Maybe the biggest year in the history of this show for lighthouses.

Speaker 15 I'd say they're having a moment.

Speaker 15 The nominees are To the Lighthouse, the book.

Speaker 144 Oh. Nominated.

Speaker 18 It's a great, great book. Let the book read.

Speaker 132 Let you read. We got them.
I got them.

Speaker 79 I don't know.

Speaker 66 Did I get you a book?

Speaker 15 You bought, hey, that's the meanest thing you could do.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 60 Well, it's a children's book.

Speaker 15 Okay. Was it about lighthouses?

Speaker 69 It was about lighthouses.

Speaker 55 Yeah, I read it.

Speaker 15 It is in the old office yeah yeah okay that that book is also nominated okay whatever that book was called hank you remember it what was it called i don't know okay i remember the book i don't remember the name you remember seeing a book you saw a book and you ran the other direction hank's seen so many books in his life hank hank thinks see see something say something is about books yeah hank do you have any do you own any books i do what books do you own in your in your home

Speaker 17 Hank sees a backpack full of books and he calls the cops.

Speaker 83 I have a Larry Bird biography that I've been I've read like 10 pages of at multiple points.

Speaker 124 I'm not, hey, listen, I've started over 40 books in the last five years, not finished a single one of them.

Speaker 123 So I'm with you on that.

Speaker 83 I have a book about habit that I'm also trying to read about

Speaker 83 breaking bad habits.

Speaker 25 Okay, but you can't

Speaker 120 focus enough.

Speaker 83 No, nope, nope.

Speaker 110 That's a...

Speaker 83 I've read it before, though.

Speaker 136 Wait.

Speaker 83 Like 10 years ago.

Speaker 15 So you have read it.

Speaker 15 Why are you you rereading the book about? Because it didn't work.

Speaker 119 Is this Sisyphus?

Speaker 15 Pushing it up. Yeah, pushing it up.

Speaker 7 Hank trying to start a book about having good habits that would help him read a book in a timely fashion.

Speaker 15 Is there spark notes of this book?

Speaker 153 I don't know.

Speaker 83 There's an audio book I've downloaded that, too.

Speaker 15 And you still haven't gotten to it? No. I love that.
I love that for you. So we've got two lighthouse books nominated.
We've got the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse in North Carolina.

Speaker 15 The tallest lighthouse in the United States. Okay.
According to the United States Coast Guard. Respect the military and the troops.

Speaker 15 The old lighthouse at Gillette Stadium is nominated. It was a great lighthouse.
It was awesome. Everyone loved it.
They won championships. They won Super Bowls with that lighthouse.

Speaker 15 Then the new Gillette Lighthouse is also nominated. The losingest lighthouse in the history of the New England Patriots by far.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 15 Mickey Mouse cartoon lighthouse.

Speaker 109 I mean, Hank.

Speaker 37 Fact or fiction, things have gone badly since the new lighthouse came out.

Speaker 83 No, the new lighthouse was last year, and they had gone badly two years ago, but they haven't gotten better yet.

Speaker 15 I'd say they got worse.

Speaker 106 They fired a whole

Speaker 15 new Bill Belichick is no longer your coach.

Speaker 102 You lost a legendary quarterback who throws when, where, how, where he knows where to put it.

Speaker 15 Things were all coming together with Mac Jones, the best rookie quarterback season of all time. And then you just got rid of all that.
And now you're shit.

Speaker 15 And now you have a quarterback that it looks like he throws a heavy ball.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 154 So

Speaker 15 the winner of the 2024 Lighthouse of the Year

Speaker 15 is the old Lighthouse.

Speaker 15 That Lighthouse was awesome. A real one.
It was a real one.

Speaker 15 Multiple Super Bowls. Dynasty.
The Dynasty Lighthouse.

Speaker 155 So, PFT, hold on one sec, Jared.

Speaker 145 Stay right there.

Speaker 56 If the new Lighthouse didn't win, could...

Speaker 131 Someone say that it's not even a Lighthouse?

Speaker 15 It's not a Lighthouse. It should not have been nominated.

Speaker 144 Yeah.

Speaker 83 Because it's a fake Lighthouse. Well, you also nominated a book, which isn't a lighthouse.

Speaker 15 Your new lighthouse is a giant butt plug, and it sucks, and everyone hates it. Nope.
Don't win football games.

Speaker 83 It's a great lighthouse. I have a question.

Speaker 7 Hank, do you ever think you're going to light the lighthouse?

Speaker 83 I have a question. Yeah.

Speaker 83 If I was hypothetically asked to be the keeper of the lighthouse for a Thursday preseason game

Speaker 83 in August,

Speaker 83 could I do it?

Speaker 15 What does keeping a lighthouse entail?

Speaker 83 Lighting the light.

Speaker 129 Are you just standing at the top being like, no, this is a real lighthouse?

Speaker 55 Yeah. It's real to me.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 Hank, I give you permission to be the keeper of the lighthouse.

Speaker 83 Against maybe the Eagles.

Speaker 15 If you read a book about a lighthouse. Yeah.

Speaker 103 Full book.

Speaker 109 Okay.

Speaker 17 And you finish your habits book.

Speaker 109 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 25 Yes. All right.
Good.

Speaker 72 All right. So congrats to that lighthouse.

Speaker 15 Congratulations to the old Gillette Lighthouse. What a wonderful lighthouse you were.

Speaker 48 We have winner here, Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 8 He's going to accept his award.

Speaker 52 He also forgot his wallet.

Speaker 95 He's been looking for it.

Speaker 8 Jerry, we're doing the takeies right now, the 2024 takeies.

Speaker 102 You have won an award.

Speaker 8 Thank you. Which comes with a cash prize as well.

Speaker 109 Yep.

Speaker 25 Right up my alley.

Speaker 53 You love cash.

Speaker 113 Yeah, you love cash.

Speaker 15 That's off, but we'll be all right.

Speaker 134 Would you like to know what award you won?

Speaker 101 Yeah, of course. Okay, PFT.

Speaker 15 You won the Lib of the Year Award

Speaker 122 for all your work in the liberal community.

Speaker 68 Pro-union guy.

Speaker 100 Pro-union guy, your big mamala guy.

Speaker 55 No, I'm not.

Speaker 68 You're asking for handouts. Yep.

Speaker 144 No, I'm not. I'm not.
No, no. I didn't.
I'm not a lib. That's number one.

Speaker 25 Well, you won the award. You won lib of the year.
Who voted on this?

Speaker 78 Many voters.

Speaker 157 It was, yeah.

Speaker 15 It was a true democracy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So there will be a graphic that says lib of the year, Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 15 Jerry's trying to, he's trying to rig the vote.

Speaker 25 Yeah. Very lib of him.

Speaker 66 Yeah. Very lib.

Speaker 25 Oh, whoops.

Speaker 15 I don't want to accept the award.

Speaker 22 Okay, well, you can't not accept it. Yeah.

Speaker 37 It's been given to you.

Speaker 15 You hate meritocracy. You hate the fact that you won something.

Speaker 158 Oh, I think Jerry, yeah, Jerry's a participation trophy guy, a true lib.

Speaker 56 He wants everyone to win the award.

Speaker 55 That's true. I don't.

Speaker 5 I don't think everyone has to be put up for this award.

Speaker 15 Wow. No, no one has to be nominated.

Speaker 24 Also, Jerry, aren't you happy?

Speaker 3 Like,

Speaker 20 the voting for the takies is secretive, and some may say a coup, which is exactly what you people do.

Speaker 15 I don't do any of that. Okay.
I don't do any of that stuff.

Speaker 15 Like, zero.

Speaker 15 I don't even want to talk about what my theories and stuff are.

Speaker 15 But my theories are anti-lib.

Speaker 15 I don't know. It seems like the case has been laid pretty clearly.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 12 You look like a lib.

Speaker 69 Oh, look at Jerry.

Speaker 5 He's so happy he's won this award.

Speaker 7 He's just trying to give it to everyone else inside.

Speaker 36 Yeah, give it a hat.

Speaker 15 No, hey, no, no, you're wearing it. You're wearing a hat from Pittsburgh.
Yeah. You love the Steelers.
Yep.

Speaker 15 Unions.

Speaker 15 Where's Joe Budden from?

Speaker 15 Delaware.

Speaker 15 I believe he's from Scrand, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 68 Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania.

Speaker 28 Yeah, he's from Pennsylvania.

Speaker 131 You are on the record saying you're a Joey B guy.

Speaker 15 Yes, but. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 57 All right, there we go.

Speaker 15 Okay.

Speaker 25 that was burrow.

Speaker 160 Thank you, Jerry. Lib of the year.

Speaker 15 Lib of the year.

Speaker 35 Congratulations.

Speaker 2 I will, Jerry,

Speaker 7 in lieu of a cash prize, I will be donating your cash prize to the Democratic Party.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah, they just got $90 million.

Speaker 119 They'll be good.

Speaker 106 Yeah, you asked for that before.

Speaker 2 So, like you said, your words, not mine.

Speaker 51 Mamala's going all the way.

Speaker 153 She is.

Speaker 34 She is.

Speaker 34 He just said she is.

Speaker 154 Yeah, yeah. He said she is.
Yep.

Speaker 145 Lib of the year. Jersey Jerry.
All right.

Speaker 75 Where were we?

Speaker 141 Lighthouse.

Speaker 140 You just said Lighthouse.

Speaker 15 Worded to the old Lighthouse, yeah. Okay, next up.

Speaker 95 Big one.

Speaker 155 Viral Woman of the Year.

Speaker 25 Ooh.

Speaker 25 Lot of viral women.

Speaker 12 A lot of viral women this year.

Speaker 15 Herpie's joking. Yeah.

Speaker 25 She's

Speaker 161 allegedly.

Speaker 98 Pam Anderson, confirmed.

Speaker 15 Oh, hepatitis, too. Yeah.

Speaker 85 Yeah.

Speaker 109 Okay. Viral woman.

Speaker 15 Which one would you prefer?

Speaker 8 Yeah, you choose.

Speaker 25 B. I think that's the wrong one.

Speaker 15 I think she might have C. Yeah, I think she has C.

Speaker 132 So now you have B.

Speaker 126 Viral Woman of the Year.

Speaker 43 We have The Chargers fan.

Speaker 15 Remember her? Yeah, she was really into the Chargers. That was crazy.

Speaker 119 That was nuts.

Speaker 83 She's a paid actor.

Speaker 15 Industry plant.

Speaker 83 Paid actress. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The craziest.

Speaker 66 I still don't really know what happened there.

Speaker 60 We have Hock Chua Girl.

Speaker 15 She's burning bright.

Speaker 18 That is as viral as viral gets.

Speaker 140 Yeah.

Speaker 56 Lean to the plug.

Speaker 68 Yep. Went viral.

Speaker 69 Probably very viral.

Speaker 75 Yep.

Speaker 91 That was a crazy story.

Speaker 15 That was a moment.

Speaker 55 What was the story?

Speaker 15 Adam 22 let a guy fuck his wife. Yeah, on camera, in front of him for the podcast.
And then got mad about his wife getting fucked. Yeah.
Because people made fun of him.

Speaker 22 And it, again, don't want to say that we play the game the right way, but you don't see us, any of us getting fucked on camera

Speaker 15 for views. You'll never see that.
No one wants to fuck us on camera.

Speaker 139 Maybe, Huey.

Speaker 116 I'd watch video.

Speaker 128 Look at him.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 126 I would. I don't want him to, but I would.

Speaker 69 We would never.

Speaker 134 If you put it in front of me.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And you're like, check this out.

Speaker 89 Huey's laying pipe.

Speaker 15 You wouldn't look away?

Speaker 75 I would have to look.

Speaker 25 I'd have to look.

Speaker 15 It'd be morbid curiosity. We would never stoop to the level of a podcast like No Jumper and have one person on our podcast try to get set up with another guest on our podcast.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 49 That's disgusting.

Speaker 15 And I don't think it should happen. Yeah.

Speaker 24 And then finally, the Oilers fan

Speaker 47 for her viral moments.

Speaker 56 Almost getting them to a Stanley Cup.

Speaker 16 She was great.

Speaker 48 She was great.

Speaker 15 I really appreciate that moment.

Speaker 91 She was great.

Speaker 8 Okay, so we have a special guest, our good friend Paul Bissonet, giving us the winner of Viral Woman of the Year.

Speaker 25 Bump button home.

Speaker 7 Hello, pardon my take fans.

Speaker 162 Paul Bissonet here from the Spit and Chickles podcast for a very special announcement. It is an honor to have been selected selected to hand out an award for the 2024 Takey Awards.

Speaker 162 And I will be presenting today the 2024 Takey Award for Most Viral Woman. And some of you are going to be shocked by the winner, but I don't care.
And without further ado, drumroll, please.

Speaker 31 Get that spit off my face.

Speaker 162 And the winner of the 2024 Takey Award for Most Viral Woman goes to Oilers Girl Cake. Those luscious tits made so many people happy on the internet.

Speaker 162 It propelled the Edmonton Oilers to a long playoff run that just fell short, but she still deserves a ring based on those beautiful boobies.

Speaker 66 Now, some of you, I know what you're saying.

Speaker 162 Hawk Tua deserved this, but just you remember,

Speaker 162 Oiler's Girl walked so Hawk Tua could run.

Speaker 65 And that's a wrap.

Speaker 5 Okay, so congratulations.

Speaker 15 Congratulations.

Speaker 98 So the Oilers fan.

Speaker 15 Very happy for the A-Cups.

Speaker 117 She had, she went on spitting chiclets.

Speaker 15 She's R.A.'s girlfriend.

Speaker 58 She's R.A.'s girlfriend.

Speaker 106 So, incredible viral run for her.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 15 and also,

Speaker 15 I appreciated it when she came out so strongly against the haters. Yes.
That really made me think.

Speaker 85 Yes.

Speaker 89 Okay, what do we have next?

Speaker 15 Next up, we have the Joe of the Year.

Speaker 15 Joe of the Year. A lot of great Joes this year.

Speaker 58 Big year for Joes.

Speaker 15 Huge year for Joes.

Speaker 15 First nominee is Joe Missoula.

Speaker 93 Ooh.

Speaker 15 Coach of the Boston Celtics. Best friend.

Speaker 132 Hank's stepfather to Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 15 Hank's best friend. He poured beer on you.

Speaker 15 Joe Biden also nominated for Joe Middle.

Speaker 83 Pouring honey on him.

Speaker 15 Wait, what? You're pouring honey on Joe Biden?

Speaker 83 On Joe Missoula.

Speaker 126 You poured honey on him?

Speaker 136 Goat.

Speaker 15 Wait, is that that LeBron reference where it's like, pour honey on him and then pray for the bear?

Speaker 83 LeBron posted an Instagram and said if like me and the bear are in the same forest, pray for the bear or whatever. Yeah.
And then Shannon Sharp put on his hat. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 83 I'm pouring honey on you, goat.

Speaker 54 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Pouring honey on Joe.

Speaker 65 How fast would Joe Missoula kick your ass if you poured honey on him?

Speaker 116 Very fast.

Speaker 47 That would be an awesome.

Speaker 83 He was ready to kick my ass when I was putting on sunscreen.

Speaker 15 He's probably trying to.

Speaker 15 Joe Biden also nominated for Joe of the Year. Still alive? For being still alive.
Still alive. We think.

Speaker 15 JoJo Siwa nominated for Joe of the Year.

Speaker 95 Don't know who that is.

Speaker 15 If you have two Joes, do you have one?

Speaker 49 Who is JoJo Siwa?

Speaker 66 I know.

Speaker 16 She's a Twitch Talker, YouTuber,

Speaker 55 dancer. Dancer, dancer.

Speaker 28 Love it.

Speaker 25 Love her work.

Speaker 83 Love her work and the joker. Reality TV.

Speaker 15 Reality TV show. What'd she do this year?

Speaker 83 She did,

Speaker 83 I forget what show it was called. It was on ABC.
It was like.

Speaker 135 She's on Disney Channel.

Speaker 15 Disney Channel, yeah, that's what I was about to say.

Speaker 38 Oh, yeah, yeah, Disney Channel.

Speaker 135 She just had a big year.

Speaker 57 She was on a.

Speaker 110 She sounded like a big Jojo Sewa fan.

Speaker 2 She was on a show.

Speaker 83 I mean, they advertised during Sunday Night Football every week.

Speaker 15 Ah, that show. A show that.
Is it the one where they sorry, we were watching football?

Speaker 153 Well, it was commercial of football.

Speaker 22 Yeah, I'm still thinking about football.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I'm thinking about what I just watched. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Okay, Jojo C. Will nominated for Joe of the Year.
Also nominated for Joe of the Year, Joelle Embiid. Oh, he is a Joe.

Speaker 101 Maverick Joe.

Speaker 8 He had a pretty big year.

Speaker 43 He went all the way to the conference finals.

Speaker 15 Conference semifinals.

Speaker 17 Conference quarterfinals.

Speaker 67 Conference quarterfinals.

Speaker 135 He just had a really good game in the Olympic exhibitions.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's great. He had a great game

Speaker 15 against Germany in the Olympic exhibition game. On a super team.

Speaker 156 Yeah.

Speaker 15 So

Speaker 15 huge year. That's probably the most important game he's ever played in.

Speaker 97 That actually, we did the voting before that game.

Speaker 38 This might change everything.

Speaker 15 This kind of sways things. Yeah.

Speaker 83 But Jojo Seva blew up on dance moms.

Speaker 16 She's a mom?

Speaker 83 No, she was the dancer.

Speaker 116 Oh, that's.

Speaker 66 Oh, she had a mom.

Speaker 25 Yeah. Yeah.
So she was a dancer.

Speaker 15 She's a dancer with a mom.

Speaker 38 They don't make those anymore. And meme said she's a dancer.

Speaker 133 That's a great idea for the show.

Speaker 32 No.

Speaker 81 What is that?

Speaker 25 She's like, it's a dance moms?

Speaker 135 It's like the children.

Speaker 135 Like,

Speaker 135 She was like a young child.

Speaker 49 It's a creepy show. It's a very creepy show.

Speaker 15 It's a very, very creepy show.

Speaker 135 It's about like the moms of

Speaker 15 shit. I would say honey boo-boo adjacent.

Speaker 140 Yes.

Speaker 55 Special Forces World's Toughest Test on Fox.

Speaker 15 That was the show. Special Forces World's Toughest Test.
On Sunday Night Football, they were advertising for Fox. No, it must have been.

Speaker 38 It's wild. Yeah, so.
Whatever.

Speaker 148 You know what I mean? That's fine. Jojo Siwo, big fan.

Speaker 115 Huge. This podcast is.

Speaker 15 There should be a podcast mom show yeah i was thinking like we just do a tv dad show it's just my kids watching tv a tv show about kids watching tv it's me turning on the tv and then bluey's on yeah and then it's like all right so and that was the episode when you were talking about bluey i had no idea what a drug bluey was for kids oh yeah but i had uh there was a friend that came into town their five-year-old stay with us and the kid was like jumping all over the basement like punching walls throwing stuff around just in a bad mood i go down there i turn on bluey yeah and it's like hypnotized.

Speaker 42 It's also the greatest show ever created because it's seven minutes long.

Speaker 131 So you can tell a kid, hey,

Speaker 77 you get to watch three more Blueys.

Speaker 22 That feels like a million to a kid. And they're like three more.

Speaker 156 Yeah, Bluey's a drink.

Speaker 66 I'll never run out.

Speaker 144 20 minutes.

Speaker 15 Done. Bluey is a drug for kids for sure.
Yeah. So here to present.
Bluey's a girl.

Speaker 90 Wait, she is? Yeah.

Speaker 15 That just fucking blew my mind.

Speaker 22 Yeah, bingo.

Speaker 124 They're sisters.

Speaker 25 Also,

Speaker 89 very funny because they did a really good job with Bluey.

Speaker 148 Bluey's dad works at the airport.

Speaker 131 Okay. He's a drug-sniffing dog.

Speaker 15 That's fun.

Speaker 76 And his Bluey's marriage.

Speaker 15 Oh, wait, his dad's a narc?

Speaker 38 Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 37 Maybe bomb-sniffing dog.

Speaker 16 And then his mom is an archaeologist.

Speaker 15 Bone-sniffing dog. Yes.
I like that. Pretty cool.
That's very good.

Speaker 113 Pretty cool. They did a good job.

Speaker 15 One of them should work in the White House.

Speaker 15 Next up, we have the presenter for the Joe of the Year Award, our good friend, Joe Buck.

Speaker 163 Hey, I'm at Dick's Sporting Goods, so it is my distinct honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Dick of the Year.

Speaker 93 He's right.

Speaker 163 I'm Joe, and it's my honor to present the 2024 Takey Award to the Joe of the Year, to Joe Missoula, the Boston Celtics head coach. Congratulations, Joe.

Speaker 25 Incredible video.

Speaker 15 Wait, can we pause real quick? Let's take a second to admire Joe Buck's outfit.

Speaker 96 Yeah, I thought it was jean shorts at first. I don't know if it is.

Speaker 15 I'm going to choose to believe these are jean shorts because this is the best dad outfit I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, this is like his St.

Speaker 8 Louis is really showing.

Speaker 96 Yeah. He's wearing jean shorts tucked in with a belt.

Speaker 15 Tucked in t-shirt to jean shorts. Dad hat.

Speaker 104 Yeah.

Speaker 20 He looks great. And his son hit the moonwalk.

Speaker 8 We love Joe.

Speaker 17 Joe is one of our favorite recurring guests.

Speaker 87 Can't tell the history of, pardon my take, without Joe Buck.

Speaker 38 And he actually didn't take any, when I texted him asking him for this, he didn't take any offense that he wasn't nominated for Joe of the Year.

Speaker 15 Well, that's okay. He knows he had an off year.

Speaker 60 Yeah, he's got something to aspire for. Yeah.
Aspire to.

Speaker 56 Yeah, he did have an off year.

Speaker 14 He called zero games where someone almost died.

Speaker 113 Yep.

Speaker 38 Sad.

Speaker 36 So kind of set the bar, and he wasn't able to live up to it.

Speaker 15 Very sad. Congratulations, Hank, to your best friend.
Did you tell him?

Speaker 41 I did tell him. Yeah, what'd he say?

Speaker 83 He hasn't responded yet.

Speaker 109 Oh, best friends.

Speaker 60 That's just best friendly.

Speaker 60 Yeah. You guys don't have to talk to your best friend.

Speaker 15 He's probably upset that he won the award and he's going to to get complacent. That's true.

Speaker 131 Did we poison the Celtics by giving him Joe of the Year? That'd be a real shame.

Speaker 30 That would be a real shame.

Speaker 55 Okay, next up.

Speaker 66 Girlfriend of the Year.

Speaker 118 Girlfriend of the year.

Speaker 131 Big-time award.

Speaker 65 We have some big-time nominees.

Speaker 87 First up, it is Taylor Swift, who

Speaker 37 was very prominently during the football season.

Speaker 17 Matt Smith?

Speaker 17 What?

Speaker 164 For dating Matt Smith?

Speaker 126 Oh, Oh, no.

Speaker 89 But she did do that, and he was problematic.

Speaker 131 Wait, Matty Healy?

Speaker 135 Or Matt Healy?

Speaker 84 Matty Healy. Yeah, come on, Hank.

Speaker 15 Get up on your lure.

Speaker 147 Yeah, come on.

Speaker 107 She started dating Travis Kelsey this year.

Speaker 115 Some may say Travis Kelsey is Taylor Swift's boyfriend.

Speaker 8 Depends on the season, I would say. Right now.

Speaker 128 He's boyfriend.

Speaker 22 He's boyfriend.

Speaker 16 Football season, she's girlfriend.

Speaker 15 I mean, Travis has a good case for boyfriend of the year, too.

Speaker 38 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 147 That's true.

Speaker 72 Kyle Philpowski's girlfriend.

Speaker 15 She's,

Speaker 15 they've been together for a long time.

Speaker 134 No one put in more work than her.

Speaker 15 And everything played out perfectly. Yeah.
Like, she is the mastermind, to use a Taylor Swift lyric. She plotted this out, and now he's in Utah.

Speaker 8 Yeah, minus the whole part of him slipping out of the first round because of people questioning their relationship.

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Still don't really know how Duke was able to keep that under wraps for two years.

Speaker 15 It's very strange.

Speaker 91 Very, very strange.

Speaker 15 She also nursed him back to health, though. So let's give her some credit after he had that devastating leg injury after the court storming.
That's true.

Speaker 15 He came back in record time and some people thought he was dead.

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 16 And then finally, Jake Browning's girlfriend who took the league by storm in week 17 in Joe Burrow's box.

Speaker 15 Yeah, it was,

Speaker 15 I remember where I was when I watched that.

Speaker 106 Yeah, very nice lady.

Speaker 22 Okay, so we have a guest presenter for Girlfriend of the Year.

Speaker 50 Is she anyone's girlfriend?

Speaker 84 Not to my knowledge. Okay.

Speaker 15 Has she ever been someone's girlfriend?

Speaker 20 Sure, she has, has been.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 15 Yeah, definitely. At some point,

Speaker 15 would she also say that she was a girlfriend?

Speaker 83 In her life, yeah, definitely.

Speaker 107 Would she say recently she's been a girlfriend?

Speaker 83 I don't know the answer to that.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 15 So, but she's currently no one's girlfriend.

Speaker 83 I don't know the answer.

Speaker 112 When was the last time she was someone's girlfriend?

Speaker 153 I don't know the answer to that either.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 15 Have you ever been someone's boyfriend, Hank? Have I, yeah. And Tiffany,

Speaker 15 the mystery presenter,

Speaker 67 yeah.

Speaker 15 Has at one point been someone's girlfriend. Yeah.
That's kind of a coincidence.

Speaker 22 That is a coincidence.

Speaker 165 It seems like that's almost wild like it's a key in a hole yeah uh okay a knee in a wall let's go to our guest presenter for girlfriend of the year hey guys tiffany gomeas here to present to you your 2024 girlfriend of the year takey award

Speaker 165 nominees are miss taylor swift no explanation needed

Speaker 165 Jake Browning's girlfriend, Stephanie Niles, that went viral for her white bodysuit. And lastly, Kyle Filipaski's girlfriend, which I think we all know, and I think we all know is not going to win.

Speaker 165 Lastly, I think I'd be in the running if someone didn't fumble, but not mentioning any names.

Speaker 165 But nonetheless, our winner is Miss Taylor Swift.

Speaker 50 Okay, well, incredible.

Speaker 26 Great work.

Speaker 83 Great work, Tiffany. Tiff.

Speaker 113 We love Tiff. Gomeas.

Speaker 22 Gomas.

Speaker 116 You should rekindle that.

Speaker 82 We kind of have.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just over this week. Really?

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 29 How?

Speaker 60 He's checked in.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 83 I mean, I don't want to get into specifics, but.

Speaker 15 You're checked in?

Speaker 101 Well,

Speaker 15 she can't check in. He had to hit her up.
She's not allowed to.

Speaker 125 FAA. That's true.

Speaker 83 She wanted to go to Paris for the Olympics.

Speaker 116 With you?

Speaker 116 Too soon.

Speaker 55 Oh, man.

Speaker 116 It's like this week.

Speaker 15 She invited you to France, the most romantic country in the world.

Speaker 37 Would have been a great place to get down on one knee.

Speaker 135 She also DM'd him on TikTok.

Speaker 39 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 26 Hey, Max.

Speaker 52 Max does know all the DMs on TikTok that Hank gets.

Speaker 83 Yeah, somehow Max is logged into my TikTok, which I don't really use, but I just get emails

Speaker 135 whenever Hank gets a DM on TikTok. And I was with Big Cat, and I was like, look, look, Hank just got a DM.

Speaker 15 What did the DM say?

Speaker 135 I can't see what the DM says. I just get an email.

Speaker 135 You have received a direct message from TikTok by Tiffany Gomas.

Speaker 66 Gomas.

Speaker 12 I think the DM said, want to go to Paris and elope.

Speaker 25 Yeah. No, nope.

Speaker 78 Marry me. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Yes or no?

Speaker 72 False.

Speaker 41 If she proposed to you,

Speaker 114 you'd have to say yes.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 83 I don't have that in me to say no.

Speaker 166 Yeah, right. You'd figure it out later.

Speaker 138 Say yes in the moment.

Speaker 38 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 That would be a hell of a wedding.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Could be destination.

Speaker 54 That would be fun.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 91 Also,

Speaker 94 I think Jerry O'Connell would possibly be a bridesmaid.

Speaker 83 No, he'd have to be the he'd have to marry.

Speaker 15 No, because he'd get to the part where it's like, speak now or forever, hold your peace. And he'd be like, I object.
I personally object. Me, I'm here.
I should be Hank.

Speaker 113 Okay, next up.

Speaker 83 Kiss the Bride party. He would love.

Speaker 116 Oh, he'd get involved.

Speaker 15 It would be a triple kiss. Yeah.

Speaker 22 He'd need like a little sheet to stand behind for the Kiss the Bride.

Speaker 83 Sounds like a movie.

Speaker 53 Next up.

Speaker 15 Next up, we have Dom of the Year.

Speaker 15 Dom of the Year. Great award.
This is the first year that we've ever presented this. Yeah.

Speaker 15 But we've got some good nominees here. First up is Big Dom.

Speaker 167 Oh, yeah. The Fluffy Eagles.

Speaker 18 Fluffy Eagles.

Speaker 15 Remember when he got kicked out of that game that rocked? Show your football.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah. My football's somewhere.
Where's my football? Oh, I got it.

Speaker 15 Where's my football?

Speaker 8 Dom said he's he said, my Paisons game ball presented to Big Cat from Big Dom.

Speaker 65 Incredible. He's the best.

Speaker 131 He is the best.

Speaker 65 We were going to actually get him to try to be a guest presenter, and then we decided, you know what?

Speaker 115 Let's not burn that relationship with something as frivolous as the Takies.

Speaker 15 Not that the Takies are frivolous. To Big Dom, they would.
But we would want... He's a football guy.

Speaker 15 First time Big Dom comes on the show, needs to be in person, and we have to have like at least 45 minutes with him.

Speaker 95 And also a lot of chicken parm.

Speaker 55 Yep. Shitload.

Speaker 15 Big Dom nominated. Okay.

Speaker 67 Also nominated.

Speaker 15 Dom of the year. Yes.
The Dom of the Year from last year from the viral Dave Portnoy.

Speaker 60 Pizza Review.

Speaker 8 Yes. Yes, which was he just kept on yelling, Dom of the Year, Dom of the Year.

Speaker 15 That guy, self-anointed Dom of the Year. Self-anointed.
Next up, we have Max's nephew. Yes.
Named Dom.

Speaker 36 Dominic Delente.

Speaker 135 Shout out, Baby Dom.

Speaker 145 Shout out, Baby Dom.

Speaker 15 Baby Dom. I like that.

Speaker 107 I think we should, I think right now, I don't know who wins Dom of the Year, but

Speaker 115 similar to like when Nick Sabin gives a scholarship offer to like a five-year-old, I think we should give an internship offer to Dominic Delente.

Speaker 55 I'm okay with that.

Speaker 107 In 18 years' time,

Speaker 16 he has an open internship offer to Dominic Delente.

Speaker 8 You sign him up right now.

Speaker 122 Lock him up.

Speaker 140 Yep.

Speaker 135 Big moment for Baby Dom right now.

Speaker 25 Huge moment.

Speaker 98 Huge moment for Baby Dom.

Speaker 8 Now, the problem is it's going to be Huey and memes hosting this show.

Speaker 8 It's going to be no one listening, but he will be an intern.

Speaker 15 Yeah, we're ending Italian unemployment one baby at a time.

Speaker 145 Yes, he's got a job.

Speaker 15 Also nominated for Dom of the Year, Taylor Swift. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Interesting. She kind of wears the pants in that relief.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 She's just one girlfriend of the year, so could she go back-to-back?

Speaker 15 We'll see.

Speaker 108 We've never had a back-to-back.

Speaker 15 You haven't?

Speaker 42 We've never had a back-to-back.

Speaker 15 You had a back-to-back? I've never had a back-to-back. Yeah.
What is that? If that was a number, would that be a 96? You'd be 96ing?

Speaker 22 11?

Speaker 15 No, that's spooning.

Speaker 97 No, back-to-back.

Speaker 15 Back-to-back.

Speaker 16 Spooning would be more like...

Speaker 15 7-7?

Speaker 131 Yeah, something like that. Back-to-back.

Speaker 126 1-7.

Speaker 15 I think back-to-back is 9-6.

Speaker 15 I think it's 96.

Speaker 16 Is back-to-back one of the scariest phrases you can say to a short man?

Speaker 157 Yes. 100%.

Speaker 15 Also, because I watched Wreck for a Dream one time, and back-to-back has a different meaning there. Yeah.

Speaker 125 Okay.

Speaker 15 So, the Dom of the Year Award goes to

Speaker 15 Big Dom. Yes.
This is Big Dom.

Speaker 155 Big Dom.

Speaker 15 Huge work in the field of Domness.

Speaker 15 You crushed it, man. You crushed it.
The Eagles couldn't win without you.

Speaker 33 Yeah,

Speaker 7 took the world by storm.

Speaker 98 The season fell apart the minute Big Dom got off that sideline.

Speaker 15 And got a massive promotion. Yep.

Speaker 37 He's now director of what?

Speaker 15 I think he just is the Philadelphia Eagles. Yeah.

Speaker 37 He's the whole, the build the whole team out of Big Dom.

Speaker 132 Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 123 He won a lot of games.

Speaker 8 What is he, Max?

Speaker 106 What's his actual...

Speaker 13 He just Max just searched Big Dom promotion.

Speaker 5 You'd think you'd have this. In charge of game day coaching?

Speaker 105 He's coaching?

Speaker 87 Eagles add game day coaching operation title to Dom DeSandro's growing responsibilities.

Speaker 131 I think they did this as a so he can't get kicked out anymore.

Speaker 15 They should also make him director of sanitation.

Speaker 127 Yes, yes.

Speaker 36 Okay, big Dom upgrade.

Speaker 107 Eagles security chief Dom DeSandro receives promotion to make it harder for NFL to discipline him after, I love that, after 2023 ban.

Speaker 7 They basically are protecting Dom.

Speaker 15 That's really solid, yeah. Yeah, you should, I mean, players should be promoted to some sort of coaching title to make it harder for discipline.

Speaker 88 I feel like Goodell's going to do whatever the equivalent of a RICO act will be for the Eagles.

Speaker 15 Yeah, don't say nothing.

Speaker 65 He's trying to take down the whole operation.

Speaker 98 Okay,

Speaker 1 next up,

Speaker 56 Italian of the Year.

Speaker 37 Big year for Italians.

Speaker 3 Big, big year.

Speaker 115 We had one of the Italians that took the world by storm.

Speaker 169 Tommy DeVito is nominated.

Speaker 56 Tommy.

Speaker 15 He had a couple really good games.

Speaker 134 It was so much fun.

Speaker 8 That Monday night game, the world was going crazy. Everyone was doing the fingers.

Speaker 102 Yep.

Speaker 15 And his family.

Speaker 7 It was the perfect time and place.

Speaker 8 Like, we knew that it probably wasn't going to last forever. But when it was happening, we were just embracing it.

Speaker 114 Uh, we also have Big Dom.

Speaker 134 Big Dom nominated.

Speaker 15 Huge, huge work.

Speaker 56 Can we do the back-to-back?

Speaker 15 First time ever.

Speaker 32 Uh,

Speaker 107 also nominated Caitlin Clark.

Speaker 8 People don't realize she's Italian,

Speaker 131 she's half Italian,

Speaker 84 Italian, a great Italian-American

Speaker 124 who is growing the game of women's basketball.

Speaker 8 And finally, we have Sean Stilato, Tommy DeVito's agent, who is a recurring guest.

Speaker 134 And And he couldn't be more Italian if he tries.

Speaker 82 Already a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 47 Yeah, Italian Hall of Fame.

Speaker 15 You see, he met the Pope? He did meet the Pope. That was the most Italian thing ever.
Yeah.

Speaker 42 That was probably a big, big day.

Speaker 131 But yeah, he came in when he was being inducted into the Italian Sports Hall of Fame that is located in Chicago.

Speaker 65 So congrats to Sean.

Speaker 24 We have a special guest who is presenting this award.

Speaker 15 We do. Is she Italian?

Speaker 144 She is. Oh.

Speaker 15 It's Diana Rossini. Also, a great reporter.

Speaker 55 Great reporter.

Speaker 39 Great.

Speaker 15 Very thorough, very accurate.

Speaker 116 Memes was just booed in the

Speaker 11 memes.

Speaker 18 She's our guest presenter, memes.

Speaker 15 Guess what? She just got another source. Wow, memes?

Speaker 107 You booed our presenter?

Speaker 25 Damn.

Speaker 89 Okay, let's play the video.

Speaker 170 Oh, hi, I'm Italian reporter Diana Marie-Rossini here to present the Italian of the year.

Speaker 170 Whether you're 100% Italian like me, or you just like to be like Giata and sprinkle in your Italian words like garama, mozzarella, gabagu or if you're like PFT and you're 1% Sicilian or perhaps your offspring like Big Cat has a little meatball in them it doesn't matter everybody knows all Italians love three things we love to eat we love to love and we love to fight which is why this year the attack of the year goes to

Speaker 170 Big Dom with the Philadelphia Eagles.

Speaker 170 No idea what your job is.

Speaker 47 I like that she added the Marie.

Speaker 75 Yeah, really, really, the Diana Marie Rossini.

Speaker 119 How many vowels can you end in names?

Speaker 15 It's important to add that.

Speaker 15 I also like how she was stirring up pasta, but it was pasta salad. Yeah.

Speaker 140 It looked good. Yeah, it did.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Congratulations.

Speaker 172 Dom has won the first ever back-to-back takeies.

Speaker 15 That's very impressive for Dom. Big Dom.

Speaker 15 He came onto the scene. I actually think this is a bad job.
Big Dom Coming on the scene in the NFL this year showed what a bad job we did as NFL fans and NFL podcasters.

Speaker 15 The fact that we did not already know about Big Dom was a massive blind spot in this show. Yes.
So we do apologize for that.

Speaker 50 I also blame Max for not being Big Dom.

Speaker 41 Yeah, you should have told us. You should have told us.

Speaker 15 What part of Big Dom's life made you think that we would not want to be interested in him?

Speaker 34 The second we laid eyes on him, we're like, we love this guy to death.

Speaker 135 I don't know. It never came up.

Speaker 15 Yeah. What else are you hiding from us, Max?

Speaker 55 Seriously. Don't worry about it.
Okay.

Speaker 65 There's definitely another Italian

Speaker 65 Phillies or something.

Speaker 8 You got a guy.

Speaker 65 We got to fucking know this guy.

Speaker 147 Okay,

Speaker 113 next award.

Speaker 101 Actually, let's do a quick ad.

Speaker 20 The takesies are presented by Coorsley.

Speaker 10 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 10 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 10 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 52 Okay, next up.

Speaker 15 Next up, we have a very important award. It's the Why Didn't They Put a Guy on That Shooter Award?

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 15 And we've got some great nominees. Okay.
First up, Dante DiFincinzo.

Speaker 15 He was electric at the end of that game against the 76ers.

Speaker 15 Also very Italian. Yes.

Speaker 15 I mean, you got the triple threat.

Speaker 15 You got the Italian guy. You got the Villanova guy.
And you got the New York Knicks guy just taking Max out. Yes.
It was a a bad day for Max.

Speaker 15 We also have Peyton Pritchard nominated for his outstanding performance in the last second of quarters.

Speaker 15 Just put a guy on him. Why didn't you put a guy on that shooter?

Speaker 15 Next up, we have Trump's assassin. Should have put a guy on him.
Yep. Definitely should have put a guy on him.
Should have put a guy on him. I think they saw him on the roof.

Speaker 15 A guy should have been there. Sloped roof.
Where were the guys?

Speaker 82 Should have put a guy on him.

Speaker 83 Is he an assassin or

Speaker 84 attempted assassin?

Speaker 15 A would-be assassin.

Speaker 8 Would-be assassin.

Speaker 83 I think you can't give him that title. A shooter.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you know, he doesn't get, yeah, he doesn't get assassin.

Speaker 15 Yeah, just

Speaker 15 ass. Yeah.

Speaker 15 And also nominated is Zach Golke.

Speaker 15 Jack Golke. Sorry, Jack Golke.

Speaker 125 That's okay.

Speaker 15 Jack Golte.

Speaker 57 Jack Golke now.

Speaker 49 You got it.

Speaker 15 I got it. Put a guy in that guy, Cal.

Speaker 107 Big time put a guy on that guy.

Speaker 15 Cal should have put a guy on Jack.

Speaker 42 He didn't know that Jack Golke is wetter than wet.

Speaker 15 And the winner of the why didn't they put a man on that shooter award is Jack Golkie.

Speaker 46 Yes.

Speaker 136 Jack Golkie.

Speaker 15 Congrats, Jack.

Speaker 15 Great work. They They should have put a guy on you, though.

Speaker 86 Golke was, I mean, he was made in a lab for

Speaker 152 March Madness.

Speaker 15 Get a hand in his face.

Speaker 42 Just the perfect.

Speaker 126 I really do think that NCAA, like, for all the hand-wringing of, like, the game is changing so much.

Speaker 8 Make a Jack Golkie rule that basically we just get to vote on like five guys every March Madness that no matter their eligibility, they get to stay another year.

Speaker 52 It'd be nice.

Speaker 42 Because Jack Golke this year would be such a fun story to watch.

Speaker 97 Just turn on a random Oakland game and be like, oh, Jack Golke is going off again.

Speaker 15 Because the thing is, Jack Golke could beat anybody on the right night. Yes.

Speaker 110 He can. He showed that.
Yep. He showed that.

Speaker 78 Okay, next award up.

Speaker 48 This is a doozy, boys.

Speaker 131 Because we might have a back-to-back winner.

Speaker 153 Another one?

Speaker 36 No, not back-to-back, but back-to-back years.

Speaker 113 It is

Speaker 75 the

Speaker 107 still-alive person of the year Tommy Lasorda Memorial.

Speaker 15 Tommy Lasorda John Madden Memorial.

Speaker 89 I think Queen Elizabeth, too.

Speaker 93 No, fuck her.

Speaker 67 Yeah. Bill Russell.

Speaker 152 Lizzy's in a box.

Speaker 15 In a box, in a box.

Speaker 66 Lizzy's in a box. In a box.

Speaker 47 In a box.

Speaker 48 We have given this award

Speaker 96 every single year, I think, most years, the Takeies.

Speaker 124 And a lot of times the person dies that year.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Who was the first one?

Speaker 156 I don't remember.

Speaker 15 Who did we actually go see death about?

Speaker 125 Lasorda. Lasorda.

Speaker 106 Lasorda.

Speaker 17 Yes, it might have been Lasorda. So it might be the Tommy Lasorda Award.

Speaker 24 Either way, the still alive person of the year, this is a person you can't believe is still alive.

Speaker 8 The nominees are

Speaker 110 Joe Biden.

Speaker 46 Possibly. Still alive.

Speaker 106 Still alive.

Speaker 55 By the time this airs.

Speaker 15 He's like a...

Speaker 5 We are taping this a week before we air it.

Speaker 15 He's like step alive.

Speaker 68 Okay. Or like

Speaker 15 he's like a divorced dad. He's alive every other weekend.

Speaker 41 And we don't want to jinx this, by the way.

Speaker 56 We don't want any of these people to die.

Speaker 22 We don't want this to become a jinx thing.

Speaker 117 Joe Biden still alive.

Speaker 125 Donald Trump still alive.

Speaker 39 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 156 Yup.

Speaker 15 By inches. By inches.

Speaker 24 Nancy Pelosi still alive.

Speaker 24 Physically. Physically still alive.

Speaker 78 Cannons.

Speaker 28 What?

Speaker 35 I don't get it.

Speaker 136 I mean,

Speaker 49 Hank, you cannons.

Speaker 82 Yeah, I wasn't familiar with their game.

Speaker 55 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 83 Cannons, cannons.

Speaker 28 Second luck. Cannons, cannons.

Speaker 36 Mitch McConnell, still alive, as long as they keep plugging him back in.

Speaker 114 Yeah. Turkey.

Speaker 71 Turkey. Turkey.
Turkey.

Speaker 25 Turtle. Yeah.
Gobbler. Turtle.

Speaker 58 Turtle. Yeah.

Speaker 55 And Jimmy Carter, who won it last year.

Speaker 66 Now,

Speaker 15 this would be an amazing run and still alive for Jimmy Carter because I believe he's been in hospice for like two years.

Speaker 8 We talked about it when it happened, but his grandson said that there are some days he just doesn't wake up, which is a telltale sign of being dead.

Speaker 134 That's true. Not waking up is dead.

Speaker 15 Or you could be hibernating. Yeah.

Speaker 129 So some days he just doesn't wake up.

Speaker 8 But without further ado, the still-alive person of the year for 2024 is

Speaker 104 Jimmy Carter.

Speaker 166 Again, back-to-back

Speaker 99 championship for Jimmy Carter. He's outlasted the still-alive person of the year.

Speaker 99 He won it last year.

Speaker 2 He stayed alive for the entire year.

Speaker 63 Again, we are taping this seven days before before we air it.

Speaker 46 Who knows?

Speaker 15 But he's still alive. Memes just sent the picture of Nancy Pelosi in the group chat.

Speaker 169 Canons, right?

Speaker 15 Respect.

Speaker 60 Yeah, respect. Respect.
It's respectful, Canons.

Speaker 98 It's respectful, Cannons.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 50 Hey, come on.

Speaker 104 Yeah, no.

Speaker 128 Guy like you.

Speaker 34 Guy like you with those glasses on.

Speaker 25 She's looking right. She's looking right.

Speaker 33 She's looking right.

Speaker 42 Okay, so Jimmy Carter wins still alive person of the year.

Speaker 15 Unbelievable. I think he can do a three-peat.

Speaker 15 If anybody can do it, it's Jimmy.

Speaker 73 It would be unprecedented.

Speaker 100 I don't think anyone will be able to top it.

Speaker 66 I don't even know if anyone will be able to top a two-peat.

Speaker 15 Has anybody ever been not dead for three years?

Speaker 25 Oof.

Speaker 15 I don't think so.

Speaker 41 I don't think so.

Speaker 110 And again, he is half dead.

Speaker 15 Listen, Jimmy's set up right now.

Speaker 55 He really is.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up.

Speaker 15 Next up, we have Scout of the Year.

Speaker 84 Ooh.

Speaker 15 The Scout of the Year Award. Okay.
The nominees are Tony Scheffler's cat. Yes.

Speaker 78 Scouty.

Speaker 15 Scouty, great barn cat. Yep.
Productive.

Speaker 17 Kills all those birds.

Speaker 15 All the anonymous scout quotes

Speaker 15 that come out before the draft every year.

Speaker 15 They're always fun to read.

Speaker 21 Yeah, they were heavy on my guy, Caleb Williams, this year.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Does he love football?

Speaker 58 Who's to say?

Speaker 15 We don't know. And then Connor Stallions.
Connor Stallions.

Speaker 3 One of the craziest stories, like we don't give it enough credit how crazy that story.

Speaker 89 I know there's a Netflix documentary coming out.

Speaker 2 I can't wait for that. I cannot wait for that.

Speaker 16 And I actually think the person we have presenting is part of it.

Speaker 15 Oh, he's going to be in it, he's going to be in it. Okay, I can I just watch a single documentary about sports on TV without Dave Portnoy showing up.

Speaker 8 He is, he is, he is in it, and he is presenting this award.

Speaker 7 I now, I texted him to ask him for this. We, we have not, I have not watched it, so we're watching it all together.

Speaker 52 And I'm guessing he might be ad-libbing a little bit about Michigan.

Speaker 55 Let's see.

Speaker 17 Okay, here he is, our presenter for Scout of the Year.

Speaker 173 Hey, this is our Captain Dave, proudly here to present the 2024 Takey for Scout of the Year, a scout, an important, honest, upstanding member of any organization whose job in the military, in the Navy, on the football field, scout the opponent, give any clues, anything you can give to help your team succeed.

Speaker 173 Nobody exemplified the American spirit, the Marine spirit, the football spirit, the Michigan Man spirit more than Connor Stallions. Proud to award him the 2024 Scout of the Year national champs.

Speaker 93 Go Blue.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 25 All right.

Speaker 134 Congrats.

Speaker 46 Dave looks like an old sailor now.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 126 I don't know what's going on with this.

Speaker 22 He's got the beard.

Speaker 115 His beard. The sunburn.

Speaker 15 The hat.

Speaker 58 What's that? There's a logo.

Speaker 55 What is the logo?

Speaker 15 Gordon Fisherman. Is that it? He looks a little bit like the Gordon Fisherman.
Yeah, he does. All due respect.

Speaker 106 But Connor Stallion.

Speaker 15 Connor Stallion, great human being.

Speaker 111 Incredible, incredible story.

Speaker 14 He is scout of the year.

Speaker 83 Incredible story.

Speaker 83 inspire. Like you said that like it was an inspiring story.

Speaker 15 It is. It's a very inspiring story.
Hank, when he was growing up, all he wanted to do was help Michigan football win a national championship.

Speaker 15 And he set a plan into place where he joined the United States Marines, learned recon tactics, and then took that, wrote a fucking manifesto, joined his way onto the Michigan football program first as like an unpaid assistant, just like a volunteer, worked his way up into the point where he was providing actual information about their opponents based on him sneaking into games and shit with tactics he learned in the Marines.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 15 And they won a national championship.

Speaker 78 Also,

Speaker 15 it's a great story.

Speaker 24 It's as simple as this, Hank.

Speaker 4 He wrote a manifesto and didn't kill anyone.

Speaker 6 That's hard to do.

Speaker 100 People write manifestos,

Speaker 5 they kill people.

Speaker 115 Manifesto is a bad thing.

Speaker 18 Connor Stallions wrote a manifesto and all his dreams came true.

Speaker 15 Yeah, we should be thanking our lucky stars that he is obsessed with college football and not some weird corner of the internet that we don't even know about yet.

Speaker 128 Didn't we get a story?

Speaker 101 Oh, yes.

Speaker 117 Now this is flashing back at beer games.

Speaker 36 A couple guys who were on the Michigan team said after they won the national title, which was where was it played?

Speaker 67 Was it LA? Houston?

Speaker 95 No, Houston. They went out after.

Speaker 18 They were out at a bar, maybe a strip club. I'm going to say bar.

Speaker 137 And in the corner of that bar, maybe strip club.

Speaker 65 Connor Stallions was just sitting there and he kind of did like a

Speaker 1 good job and gave him like hat tip and was like, job well done.

Speaker 133 I love that.

Speaker 64 And they're like, how the fuck was he here?

Speaker 60 So he's everywhere.

Speaker 25 Everywhere, yeah.

Speaker 102 Yeah. Huey, as a Michigan man, what is your, what are your thoughts on Connor Stallion?

Speaker 15 He's a great man.

Speaker 11 I mean, just a hero to the community.

Speaker 15 I mean, I let him watch my kids if I had one.

Speaker 33 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 25 That's a great question.

Speaker 81 That's huge.

Speaker 80 Would you watch your kids if you had one?

Speaker 66 I'd probably give it to him.

Speaker 101 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 99 All right, so there it is.

Speaker 158 So not only did he just win a takeie, he won Huey's future child.

Speaker 15 Yeah, any good Michigan man should just volunteer their firstborn to Connor Stallions. Yes.

Speaker 15 It really is maybe my favorite college football story ever.

Speaker 33 It was incredible.

Speaker 14 It was incredible.

Speaker 148 Okay, great award.

Speaker 8 Next up, we have Gambler of the Year.

Speaker 92 Wow.

Speaker 156 Big one.

Speaker 15 A lot of big gamblers this year.

Speaker 89 So the nominees are Jante Porter for getting suspended from the NBA, lifetime suspension

Speaker 8 for betting his own props and taking himself out of games.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 15 He hit all his bets, right? Yeah, I think so. So he was a pretty good gambler.

Speaker 95 Yeah, he was a good gambler.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he had a system.

Speaker 17 He almost went tout.

Speaker 94 Pro athletes just shouldn't be on Discord.

Speaker 83 Leave the Discord for the nerds.

Speaker 127 Yeah, also.

Speaker 66 What was he doing on Discord?

Speaker 83 He was in a gambling group, and that's like, I think that's how it happened. They kind of like...

Speaker 15 They had the receipts. Yeah.

Speaker 83 And they were probably the ones telling them, like, yo.

Speaker 77 Yo, come out of the game.

Speaker 83 We got a way to make some money. Also, just don't get more than four rebounds.

Speaker 47 Right.

Speaker 23 Crazy for him to, like,

Speaker 47 I feel like if you're a starter in the NBA and you did this, it'd be very hard to prove.

Speaker 106 When you're Jante Porter, it's very easy to prove because he played such little minutes.

Speaker 83 And no one bets his props.

Speaker 116 And no one knows really where he was.

Speaker 26 Right.

Speaker 109 Right.

Speaker 22 And then it's $100,000 on his prop in a random February game and he's coming out with a fake shoulder injury.

Speaker 15 Yeah, every other player that is getting the minutes that he was getting would not take themselves out of the game for anything. Correct.
It's like, I need every minute. Correct.

Speaker 15 Give me every minute that I'm promised. And he was just like, no, my eye hurts.
Yeah.

Speaker 113 Ow, my eye.

Speaker 15 Great excuse, by the way. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Great excuse. Shohei Otani, Gambler of the Year, alleged.

Speaker 15 Great work. Yes.

Speaker 148 Shohei's interpreter, also up for Gambler of the Year, not alleged.

Speaker 15 Yeah, the forensic accountants came back and they said that the

Speaker 69 Ipe, right?

Speaker 15 Epe. Ipe.
It was all Ipe. Shohei had no idea whatsoever.

Speaker 133 But I hope that,

Speaker 15 at least on the winnings, on the bets that he did win, maybe Ipe broke him off a little something.

Speaker 95 Yeah, just cut him off a little something.

Speaker 8 Dave Portnoy is actually nominated for Gambler of the Year because he had his stretch where he won pretty much every single bet, Michigan, Yukon,

Speaker 33 who else? Celtic.

Speaker 83 Over a million dollars four times.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 15 All huge underdogs.

Speaker 11 Insane.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I didn't have that conversation with him that it was like this is the year of the chalk and

Speaker 119 the hottest gambler, but that's, you know.

Speaker 15 Results are results.

Speaker 46 Results are all.

Speaker 128 You never give back a winner.

Speaker 15 You never do. It doesn't matter.
Yeah, because when you lose, people let you know about it. Correct.
So you have to let them know when you get one right.

Speaker 83 And you still got to put the money up.

Speaker 148 And he had the Oilers into the, that wasn't a chalk.

Speaker 8 He had them into game seven.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 59 We have all of the Lions.

Speaker 22 If you remember, it was basically the entire Lions secondary, Jameson Williams.

Speaker 172 They had to cut a couple guys.

Speaker 89 Now, I still think they got screwed because all they did was they didn't bet on the NFL.

Speaker 37 They They just logged onto their gambling account while at the Lions facility.

Speaker 8 You got to have an IT guy who's better than that.

Speaker 15 Yeah, so the IT, it's supposed to be like Geofence, right? Yeah. Like, if you're an IT guy, you block those websites, those apps, or you just pretend it never happened.
On company property. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Well, I don't know. I think it was the NFL has it? It was the NFL that had it.

Speaker 60 So all the Lions.

Speaker 106 Okay, so who do we have to present this award?

Speaker 15 So to present this award, we have our legend, our living legend, Stu Finer. Yes.

Speaker 116 The winner of the 2024 TC Award for Best Gambler is Shohei Otani and his interpreter,

Speaker 32 O Peipe,

Speaker 174 the dead,

Speaker 79 fucking ass Lick Clint.

Speaker 174 I fucking love you from Stu Finer.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 158 First of all, congratulations to Shohei and his interpreter.

Speaker 75 Double award.

Speaker 100 What happened in that video?

Speaker 1 Why is he next to the loudest highway ever?

Speaker 15 And it looks like he's in the snow. How did he know to record this song?

Speaker 135 I thought it was snow, too, at first, though, but I think it just rocks.

Speaker 2 So I think what it is, is I think his son.

Speaker 69 That records a video every day.

Speaker 2 I know, and that was like muffled.

Speaker 1 I think his son is opening a restaurant, so he's like, oh, I might as well get promotion of this highway video.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 24 In a restaurant that's not open.

Speaker 126 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 15 I love Stew.

Speaker 153 I love Stu too. I think that's the name of the restaurant.

Speaker 99 Oh, no, it's actually open. It is open.

Speaker 82 I don't think that's the name of the restaurant.

Speaker 55 It isn't?

Speaker 69 It's like Cork and something.

Speaker 15 No, I think his son is working in marketing for this restaurant. Got it.
That's what I think it was.

Speaker 30 But he was like, got to go next to a highway.

Speaker 15 And so this is for me.

Speaker 83 I was hoping for the pool, if we're being honest.

Speaker 47 I know.

Speaker 8 I really was, too.

Speaker 131 God damn it.

Speaker 157 It's okay.

Speaker 55 The pool would have been great.

Speaker 83 Or fireworks.

Speaker 17 Fireworks would have been great as well.

Speaker 15 Or the mulch, if you did it on mulch day.

Speaker 146 Yeah.

Speaker 42 The fireworks video was all time.

Speaker 113 Can Can you just pull it up?

Speaker 88 We just play it for the people who are watching this.

Speaker 8 It's all time, it's also like the biggest firework ever.

Speaker 123 I don't really understand.

Speaker 17 Uh, Stu Finer doesn't feel like someone who should be, yeah, there it is

Speaker 26 in eight days when I blow my loan tonight. This is what it's gonna look like.

Speaker 15 In 28 days, look at that back pedal.

Speaker 132 Look at the back pedal,

Speaker 15 great balance.

Speaker 65 28 days without

Speaker 26 exploded.

Speaker 146 That's just a bomb.

Speaker 15 I don't think he has fireworks. I think Stu just built a bomb.

Speaker 115 Yeah, Stu also just being back in our lives come football season is just such an oh, it's great.

Speaker 22 I just need him back in my life.

Speaker 8 Uh, okay, next up, PFT.

Speaker 5 Actually, why don't you do an ad and then we'll do the next award?

Speaker 15 Next up, we have uh

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Speaker 175 GNC's number one pre-workout now with harder-hitting energy, an intense mind-body connection,

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Speaker 175 This isn't just a pre-workout, it's precision engineering for your body.

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Speaker 15 Thousand people.

Speaker 108 Okay,

Speaker 8 PFT, what do we have next?

Speaker 15 We carry on in the show. Yes.
With an award for the startup of the year.

Speaker 93 Ooh.

Speaker 15 Startup of the year. A lot of good startups this year.
Vanny Woodhead 2.0. Yes.

Speaker 113 Hey.

Speaker 83 I actually had that thought last night.

Speaker 8 Yeah, because when we got Vanny in, we were like, what are we going to do with it?

Speaker 126 And you're like, don't worry.

Speaker 95 I'm going to get on it.

Speaker 53 It's been a while.

Speaker 15 Are you on it?

Speaker 83 No, but I'm ready to get on it. Oh, okay.

Speaker 69 You're ready? You're ready to hop on?

Speaker 78 You're getting on it. You do some

Speaker 56 ready to get on it.

Speaker 15 Okay. So what was the thought that you had last night?

Speaker 83 That he's ready to get on it. Vanny Woodhead's in the fucking garage.
Shit. Oh, that was your thought.
I need to get on it.

Speaker 8 And you were the one who you made the biggest mistake because when Vanny showed up, you took ownership.

Speaker 104 Did I? Yeah, you did.

Speaker 8 You said, we're going to do so many ad deals.

Speaker 24 We're going to do this.

Speaker 119 We're going to do that. And I said, great.

Speaker 56 Whatever you want to do, I'm in.

Speaker 12 Sounds like you got a plan.

Speaker 100 And you're like, yeah, I got a plan.

Speaker 83 Okay.

Speaker 83 I will have a plan. And I'm going to.

Speaker 55 2025.

Speaker 83 That thing will be on the road driving souped up.

Speaker 158 At some point in 2025.

Speaker 83 Next, by next spring, summer.

Speaker 59 Spring, summer.

Speaker 15 Are you talking in Jaluney?

Speaker 8 When we do the 2025 takeies,

Speaker 110 will we be able to do some of it from Vanny Woodhead?

Speaker 169 Yes.

Speaker 83 I mean, we could do some right now.

Speaker 119 No, I should have phrased it differently. Some of it from Vanny Woodhead on the highway.

Speaker 153 Yes.

Speaker 65 Okay.

Speaker 135 This is just Hank's preemptive take of the year.

Speaker 137 Yeah, Vanny Woodhead is going to be ready to go.

Speaker 83 You don't believe in me, Max?

Speaker 141 No.

Speaker 135 I believe more in this than you're dunking, for sure.

Speaker 69 I'll give him that.

Speaker 15 I think that's a very fair thing to say.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I think.

Speaker 15 Because you can switch out parts on the car.

Speaker 25 It's way more likely that this gets done than the dunk.

Speaker 116 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 15 But the fact that you're saying 2025 doesn't give me a lot of confidence.

Speaker 69 Well, no, I have to confess.

Speaker 2 We have to get it fixed.

Speaker 83 No, it's like I have to find somebody.

Speaker 104 Stop saying we.

Speaker 39 It's we.

Speaker 39 Who's car?

Speaker 54 Who owns it?

Speaker 101 No one.

Speaker 109 Oh.

Speaker 111 Literally, it doesn't matter. Well, that part I'm not.

Speaker 2 You got to do the administration.

Speaker 59 No, no. What? No.
Wait, what what did administrator?

Speaker 151 I don't. Absolutely not.

Speaker 62 You are, you.

Speaker 80 You were the one that got it back here.

Speaker 78 No, I didn't.

Speaker 99 No, I didn't.

Speaker 128 I did not. I had nothing to do with it getting back here.

Speaker 99 Zero.

Speaker 8 The last I had to do with Vanny Woodhead was I was paying like hundreds of dollars in insurance, and I gave it to Billy.

Speaker 5 I said,

Speaker 63 get it off my insurance and get it off the road and have it go to a chop shop.

Speaker 42 And he said, done.

Speaker 114 And then it came back to life because he just never did that.

Speaker 87 Shocker.

Speaker 128 And then everything from that moment, I have not had anything to do with. Where have I had anything to do with it?

Speaker 106 Why did it just spawn here?

Speaker 59 Why are you just doing that so much?

Speaker 83 I'm not.

Speaker 15 I took responsibility for any fact fiction.

Speaker 58 Fact-ish. I had said my goodbyes.

Speaker 153 Fact-ish.

Speaker 33 Okay, well.

Speaker 83 But I'm ready to now fully take full responsibility.

Speaker 28 Going forward.

Speaker 83 This is like. And by 2025, it will be on the road driving.
Memes.

Speaker 2 You got to get.

Speaker 83 But you guys are going to have have to do stuff in it.

Speaker 114 You got to get the Adam Silver meme going.

Speaker 139 It's to Hubie.

Speaker 16 Get ready to learn how titles work, buddy.

Speaker 95 Because we are 100% just throwing this at him.

Speaker 83 I'm going to get it fixed first, but.

Speaker 33 Okay.

Speaker 150 You're going to get it fixed before you get it.

Speaker 80 I don't know.

Speaker 2 That's administrative.

Speaker 83 I'm not the most administrative guy. I can figure out getting it fixed, getting it sold, and getting it like.

Speaker 135 I'm pretty confident that Hubie is going to be pretty good at the administration.

Speaker 11 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 83 Me too.

Speaker 116 He's going to be really good.

Speaker 89 He's going to be running all over the city. Yeah.

Speaker 15 It doesn't sound. Here's my concern.

Speaker 83 Maybe we turn into the Pugmobile.

Speaker 15 It doesn't sound like Hank's. I'm going to be excited about Fanny Woodhead anymore.

Speaker 57 Like, I am. No, I am.

Speaker 83 I just kind of forgot about it.

Speaker 133 See, but last night.

Speaker 83 Yeah, I had like the

Speaker 83 shh.

Speaker 15 There's a car in there. Yeah.

Speaker 109 But

Speaker 82 the potential is still there. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 83 That's all that matters.

Speaker 69 Startup the year of the next year.

Speaker 15 I guess that's for next year, then. Yeah.
That would be the startup for 2025. Yeah.

Speaker 83 It's not an overnight thing. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Speaker 53 Or months.

Speaker 15 Yeah, we got five months.

Speaker 166 How long did it take to build Rome?

Speaker 25 I don't know.

Speaker 47 No one really says that. I don't know.

Speaker 15 I don't really think about the Roman Empire. Yeah.

Speaker 15 But yeah, Hank, listen, you've had months already, but

Speaker 15 what concerns me is you immediately punted to 2025. Yeah.

Speaker 24 Sucks. Spring, summer-ish.

Speaker 83 I don't know how many construction products you guys have been a part of, but it's not like something that you can just

Speaker 104 seen that van?

Speaker 91 You gave yourself a year

Speaker 5 deadline.

Speaker 83 Six months.

Speaker 60 No, you said spring-summer-ish.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 15 That could be August.

Speaker 135 June 9th was the arrival of Vanny Woodhead.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 83 All right, so by June 9th, 2025.

Speaker 115 Okay, so it's anniversary.

Speaker 131 That's fair.

Speaker 15 Got it. Startup of the year nominee, Booper, a social media app for dogs.
Oh. Where dogs can connect and become friends with each other on there? Great idea.
I like that.

Speaker 131 Not to be confused with Blooper, that fat fat fuck.

Speaker 15 And then the final startup of the year nominee is Darren Revelle's new business, Clit.

Speaker 93 Oh, Clit.

Speaker 15 It's the collectibles licensing that brand.

Speaker 106 And it's Clit.

Speaker 15 It's called Clit.

Speaker 64 On the stock market, it's Clit.

Speaker 15 Yeah, the logo, when you look at it, it's Clit. Clit.
It's Clit. So Darren Revelle's Clit is nominated for Startup of the Year as well.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 15 And the winner is. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Darren Revelle's Clit.

Speaker 127 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Congratulations, Darren Revelle.

Speaker 50 Darren Revelle. I finally want to take you.

Speaker 52 I do love that he doesn't think about sex so much that he didn't even think for a second it looked like Clit because it does.

Speaker 15 Yeah, it looks exactly like Clit.

Speaker 22 The name is Clit.

Speaker 15 The logo is Clit.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 77 And it never even dawned on him.

Speaker 15 Well, Ravel's never seen one before. No.

Speaker 147 Okay.

Speaker 107 Congrats to Darren.

Speaker 8 I think that might be his first.

Speaker 60 Yeah, he's probably won a Takey before.

Speaker 116 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 164 Next up is a big one.

Speaker 92 Plane Passenger of the Year.

Speaker 37 We had a big year in plane

Speaker 15 travel. Plane riding?

Speaker 169 Plane riding.

Speaker 22 So, the nominees are

Speaker 95 our own Max Delente for

Speaker 28 his two sodas.

Speaker 15 Burrito. Burrito.
Techno music.

Speaker 35 Farts.

Speaker 83 Honestly, the techno music is maybe one of the more wild wrinkles of that whole story.

Speaker 15 Just hungover as hell.

Speaker 55 Just lasting techno.

Speaker 104 You can't move.

Speaker 128 Like, you're not, you can't, like.

Speaker 57 He's having like. I was just vibing.

Speaker 15 It's just a mental party on a plane while you're hungover as shit.

Speaker 47 I kind of want, like, I kind of want now.

Speaker 130 She's got to mind her own business a little bit on that plane.

Speaker 135 Just worry about yourself.

Speaker 22 I kind of want now to have, we should have Max create a techno album.

Speaker 101 And have it.

Speaker 95 Yeah, have it call it like burrito, techno, two sodas, and farts.

Speaker 82 Finance, six eyes, two eyes.

Speaker 156 You could do it, Max. All right.

Speaker 36 So Max is nominated. Hit me up.

Speaker 135 DJs, hit me up.

Speaker 67 Our good friend, not girlfriend of Hank,

Speaker 15 Tiffany Gomez.

Speaker 15 Yeah, congratulations, Tiffany.

Speaker 22 She was an incredible plane passenger this year.

Speaker 15 And she's been a great plane passenger since then. Yes.
I mean, everyone talks about the time she got kicked off. No one talks about all the successful flights that she had.
Yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 146 Since that happened.

Speaker 65 Yeah, all the times that it hasn't gone that poorly.

Speaker 1 And then finally, the guy pissing with the weirdest grip ever.

Speaker 17 He was told that he couldn't use the bathroom upon takeoff, and he just started pissing in the middle of the the aisle.

Speaker 15 That guy rocks.

Speaker 15 Can I say something controversial? Yeah.

Speaker 15 I understand where he's coming.

Speaker 52 Oh, that's not controversial at all.

Speaker 140 Okay, okay, good.

Speaker 15 I understand. There have been times in the past year where we're in the plane.
The plane is yet to reach its cruising altitude. Seatbelt lights on, and I got to go really bad.

Speaker 15 Like, really, really bad. Emergency level.
And I've been told, no, go back to your seat.

Speaker 15 I did not pull my penis out and pee onto aisle of the plane, but I'd be lying if the thought didn't occur to me to do that.

Speaker 83 Did you get up and then get told to sat down? Because I feel like I have really had to go, especially if he was in the first row.

Speaker 83 You can basically just look the other way from the flight attendant and just get in the bathroom.

Speaker 83 And then when you come out, you're in trouble, but you're

Speaker 78 at least

Speaker 83 if worst case scenario, like that's only in an emergency situation, but

Speaker 83 you kind of have to, like, if you really, worst case emergency, like you can, you can make it happen.

Speaker 15 There was a flight. Without having to, like, you know, I know that he was on this flight with me.

Speaker 15 I don't know if Big Cat or Max were, but I remember making eye contact with Hank on this flight, and we got delayed on the tarmac for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 15 I got up after like 20 because I'm like, I got to take a piss. So, I get up, and I get told no.
They're like, go sit back down. We turn the seatbelt light on.
We're about to take off.

Speaker 15 And so, I'm like, okay, I guess I'll just listen to you. I turn around, go back to the seat, wait there, another like 20 minutes passes.
Yep.

Speaker 15 And I get up again, and the flight attendant's like, please stop. And I was like, it's an emergency.
I got to go. And so I just walked past her, went to the bathroom, peed, came out.

Speaker 15 Then 10 minutes later, we took off. But she was trying to, she was holding my piss hostage at that point.
That should be included on the passenger's bill of rights.

Speaker 58 Like, if you got to go, you got to go.

Speaker 39 Agreed.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 8 The only mistake this gentleman made was I would have just pissed my pants and not gotten the felony.

Speaker 15 Yeah, the pissing your pants, registering as a sex offender, probably. Yeah, not good.
Not worth it.

Speaker 98 Not good.

Speaker 3 So to present Plane Passenger of the Year, we have our good friend, Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 159 Hello, I'm Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL.

Speaker 159 I am here today to name the winner of the 2024 Takey for Passenger of the Year. Without further ado, the winner is

Speaker 1 Tiffany Gomez.

Speaker 159 To accept the award for Tiffany is me, Jerry O'Connell, actor, TV presenter, and AWL.

Speaker 159 Tiffany gave me a message to convey to the world,

Speaker 159 but I would personally like to take a moment and convey a message of my own to you, Tiffany Gomeas.

Speaker 159 Tiffany, to fully comprehend the impact you've made,

Speaker 159 we need to start around 3500 BC with the invention of the wheel. Around 2000 BC, humans began using horses for travel.
1783 AD, the hot air balloon.

Speaker 159 Around 1800, the first steam locomotives, automobiles later in the 1800s. And in 1903, the Wright brothers made their first controlled flight.

Speaker 159 There was some space travel after that that we'll skip past because we need to get to that fateful day of July 2nd, 2023, the day passenger transport changed forever.

Speaker 159 On July 2nd, Tiffany boarded flight 1009 from Dallas, Fort Worth to Orlando, when a family member stole Tiffany's AirPods and Tiffany told us that motherfucker was not real.

Speaker 159 There was a reason Tiffany was getting the fuck off and they can believe it or they cannot believe it.

Speaker 159 Tiffany doesn't give two fucks, but Tiffany was telling us right then that that motherfucker, that motherfucker back there was not real.

Speaker 159 We thank you, Tiffany. We thank you for warning everyone.
I mean, yeah, everyone did have to de-plane and go through security again. The flight was delayed like three hours.

Speaker 159 We could have had two sodas in that time, but we want you to have this takey for passenger of the year.

Speaker 159 Finally, I'd like to speak to Hank.

Speaker 74 Hanky,

Speaker 101 you blew it.

Speaker 159 You could have been with Tiffany, the 2024 takey winner, but you blew it. Bing bong.
Huey's WMBA takes a better than your whale takes. Bing bong.
You eat scrambled eggs like a child.

Speaker 159 You call them scrambies.

Speaker 159 Bing bong. You're boat driving sucks.
Take another class, Hanky. You can't do multiplication tables.
Pay your taxes, Hanky. Bing bong.
Stop talking about the duckbolt. No one cares.

Speaker 80 Summer of Hank is almost over.

Speaker 159 Give Tiffany air pods back.

Speaker 80 Bing bong. Your short game sucks.

Speaker 159 That's it, guys.

Speaker 17 Sorry, guys. It's we're a podcast.
It's a joke.

Speaker 42 It makes no sense.

Speaker 94 JOC, the legend.

Speaker 7 Congrats to Tiffany Gomas.

Speaker 83 Well deserved.

Speaker 116 Well earned.

Speaker 15 He was so, so excited to present that award to her.

Speaker 16 Yes. No one better than him and Tiffany Gomas.

Speaker 108 Hank.

Speaker 116 Yes.

Speaker 98 Actually, I have no more questions about Tiffany.

Speaker 15 Would you like to accept it on her behalf?

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 52 And then, but knowing that if you accept it on her behalf, you have to at some point give it to her.

Speaker 83 Yes, I'll accept on her behalf. I love that.

Speaker 25 I love that. I love that.

Speaker 83 I'm honored as her representative. Nice.

Speaker 15 And you can't wait to give it to her.

Speaker 83 I can't wait to present this award to her. Yes.

Speaker 25 Again?

Speaker 83 I can't wait to present this award to her.

Speaker 116 Okay. All right.

Speaker 15 Next up, we have the Partnership of the Year. Oh.
Big year for partnerships this year.

Speaker 131 The nominees are.

Speaker 134 Go on.

Speaker 15 The Live PGA Partnership. Yes.
We're taking steps. We're mending fences.
We're coming up with agreements. There was a demand letter, I think.

Speaker 15 There was an outline that was put into place and agreed upon.

Speaker 84 But they are partnered.

Speaker 69 They are partnered.

Speaker 15 And they're getting closer to a true partnership. Okay.

Speaker 15 Also nominated for partnership of the year, Hank and Tiffany Gomas.

Speaker 66 Oh,

Speaker 59 nominated.

Speaker 15 Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, Hank and Max in Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 8 Oh, a contentious Mount Rushmore season that did not go well.

Speaker 15 It's a good partnership.

Speaker 8 It was also great.

Speaker 83 The highlight was when Max went on vacation and blew it for our whole team.

Speaker 52 No, when Hank blamed Max for sucking, and then Hank went on vacation, and Max brought him all the way back.

Speaker 135 Well, he went on vacation, and then I won like three in a row, and then I went on vacation, and we lost everyone.

Speaker 114 But in Hank's defense, he was hungover that one one time we had to do a Mount Rushmore at 8 p.m.

Speaker 67 on a Sunday.

Speaker 25 That was your fault.

Speaker 81 That was your fault.

Speaker 15 Which is a weekend.

Speaker 81 It's a weekend.

Speaker 62 I think that's where the debates are.

Speaker 15 It did, yeah. Also, no one.

Speaker 83 And we did like three Mount Rushmore, whatever. Oh,

Speaker 26 God.

Speaker 25 Let's reload.

Speaker 15 You had to clock in and put a

Speaker 15 hard day's work in at the podcasting factory.

Speaker 135 That was also Hank last summer. He was summer Hank last summer.

Speaker 25 It was great.

Speaker 83 Last summer was amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Because you had that month where I hadn't moved.

Speaker 83 No one was here, and we just did the podcast, and that was it.

Speaker 14 Yeah, just ripped it up.

Speaker 15 Also, nominated for Partnership of the Year, we have Hank and Joe Missoula.

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 15 Good partner, rubbing honey on each other. Not on speaking terms right now.
No, it's okay.

Speaker 15 Does it say red?

Speaker 83 No.

Speaker 116 It just delivered. Okay.

Speaker 15 Also nominated for Partnership of the Year, we have Hank and Golf.

Speaker 93 Ah.

Speaker 15 Good partnership.

Speaker 22 One of the best partnerships.

Speaker 15 One loves the other a little bit more, though. Yeah.
I feel like it's one-sided.

Speaker 116 There's a promising future.

Speaker 83 I think there's, you know, buy-in now.

Speaker 15 As long as you don't golf on camera.

Speaker 55 On camera.

Speaker 57 It's really the on-camera.

Speaker 28 I'm due.

Speaker 83 I'm due. Yeah.
I'm happy to have Bad Film out there because then when I get good, it's going to be that much sweeter.

Speaker 15 Okay, also nominated for Partnership of the Year, Hank and Gravity.

Speaker 15 Keeping him down.

Speaker 15 That one's kind of dragging you. That one you can sell.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Yeah, sell that one.

Speaker 157 Okay.

Speaker 15 And the winner of Partnership of the Year goes to

Speaker 15 the Live PGA Tour.

Speaker 12 Oh, congratulations, the Live PGA Tour.

Speaker 125 Yeah.

Speaker 34 And PFT explained to me what their partnership is now?

Speaker 15 Their partnership is that they have an outline that they've agreed to and an arrangement and a skeleton clause that they've put in. And it

Speaker 15 seems like things are progressing. Wow.
They're basically the same organization right now. Yeah.
Who do you think would be

Speaker 15 more nerve-wracking to sit next to on a plane?

Speaker 15 The founders of the Live Tour or Tiffany?

Speaker 15 All-time bad passengers.

Speaker 153 Live. Live.

Speaker 15 Probably. Yeah.

Speaker 78 Not all-time.

Speaker 54 One-time.

Speaker 15 Well, it was a pretty big day in American history, Hank.

Speaker 78 Come on, Hank.

Speaker 26 Let's talk about it.

Speaker 55 Okay, all right.

Speaker 25 All right.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 8 Congrats to Live and PGA.

Speaker 2 Next up, we have a very special award.

Speaker 14 It is Ratio of the Year, one of our favorite awards to give out every single year.

Speaker 89 I will read the tweets and also tell you what the quote tweets are.

Speaker 118 For Ratio of the Year, the nominees are

Speaker 73 Jonathan Ross, who said, prediction, AI will displace social drinking within five years.

Speaker 1 Just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie Roxanne, people will use AI-powered earbuds to help them socialize.

Speaker 91 At first, we'll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol.

Speaker 15 So five years, no more beer.

Speaker 91 We're just going to be robots. We're just going to wear earpods.

Speaker 15 Yeah, that sounds awful.

Speaker 15 2.6 uh thousand quote tweets this guy sounds like he just smashes the ai button for every product yeah every problem that he has yeah 7.7 million views on that one that one was quite something uh

Speaker 8 this one is just uh funny because it it was a woman said uh the flex i like to see uh and it was a kid holding a sign that said i read a thousand books thousand books club before kindergarten so it's a five-year-old.

Speaker 15 Yeah, is that? I don't know. I'm not an expert on kids.
Do they typically read before kindergarten?

Speaker 65 No, they don't know how to read before kindergarten.

Speaker 148 But the ratio is

Speaker 115 so this person tweeted it.

Speaker 124 They had 67 million views, 5,000 quote tweets on it.

Speaker 52 And the best quote tweet was: someone said, no footage, just a piece of paper.

Speaker 14 He's a fraud like Wilt.

Speaker 55 Talking about Wilt Chamberlain. I love that.
Great.

Speaker 3 A great, great reply.

Speaker 114 Next up, we have

Speaker 176 the quote tweet of

Speaker 78 our co-workers

Speaker 129 winning a championship, the Boston Celtics fans in the office,

Speaker 20 who had, for the 18th time, the Boston Celtics are NBA champions as everyone just shakes hands like they're coming off of the 18th hole.

Speaker 50 I've already been there before.

Speaker 37 22 million views, 3.2 thousand quote tweets.

Speaker 164 And one of the best one is perfect example of why spoiled franchises across all sports don't deserve to win.

Speaker 65 I've celebrated first downs harder than this.

Speaker 15 Yeah, there were a lot of people saying, like, I've celebrated a touchdown for my backup running back in a fantasy league harder than this. Yeah,

Speaker 15 it does infuriate me looking at how much success Boston Sports has had, where this is how they celebrate a championship.

Speaker 140 Yeah.

Speaker 30 So that was quite something.

Speaker 36 This one is anonymous.

Speaker 16 It has 9.6,000 quote tweets, 38 million views.

Speaker 20 It says, if Taylor Swift is going to be taking over our Sundays, I'm going to need to see a sex tape.

Speaker 123 These are my demands at pardon my take. Okay.

Speaker 115 I don't recognize who that is. Who is this guy?

Speaker 95 Yeah, I don't recognize it.

Speaker 15 He looks like he's carrying off.

Speaker 157 Who's that guy?

Speaker 126 Credit to me for not deleting it.

Speaker 15 Yeah, you got to leave it up. Got to leave it up because if you take it down, then the terrorists will have won.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 37 38 million views.

Speaker 133 Last one.

Speaker 71 This one is from the storyteller.

Speaker 1 She said, Keanu Reeves would totally shit himself if anyone actually tried to kill him, let alone thousands of evil hitmen. He's just a makeup-wearing salesman, and what he's selling are lies.

Speaker 94 Violence isn't sexy, death isn't easy, and karma won't get you.

Speaker 145 Keanu, try selling truth.

Speaker 15 Try selling truth, Keanu. Stop acting.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 16,000 quote treats.

Speaker 15 That's pretty good. Hank, that kind of blew your mind.
1600, sorry. Did you not realize that Keanu Reeves was an actor?

Speaker 83 No, I mean, that's just, I can't believe that someone would come to that conclusion. Or that's how they would feel after watching John Wick.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Yeah.
Sometimes. This isn't real.

Speaker 28 yeah.

Speaker 15 It's a good reminder, just some people need to turn their brains off sometimes.

Speaker 148 Yes, that would be true.

Speaker 136 Kyle taught me that.

Speaker 146 It's a movie, it is a movie, fact.

Speaker 11 Actually, movies.

Speaker 118 The ratio of the year,

Speaker 22 you know, we were going to give it to the Celtics fans, but I'm looking at these numbers.

Speaker 123 Do I have to take it?

Speaker 8 I had 10,000 quote tweets.

Speaker 15 That's a lot of quote tweets.

Speaker 68 Okay, I for the record, Big Cat.

Speaker 15 Do you want to see a sex tape?

Speaker 169 No.

Speaker 15 Would you watch a sex tape?

Speaker 109 Yes.

Speaker 15 I think if a sex tape was put in front of you,

Speaker 104 honestly,

Speaker 15 if you took any male and any female and had a sex tape and you said, here are these people having sex and just showed it to me, I would look regardless of who it was. Yeah.
If it was in front of me.

Speaker 15 Yes.

Speaker 112 So do I have to give it to myself? Yes.

Speaker 65 I didn't want to just because I didn't want to start it all over again.

Speaker 45 Yeah.

Speaker 60 Okay, so I won.

Speaker 15 Ratio of the year.

Speaker 111 I think I got ratioed to hell.

Speaker 69 Congratulations.

Speaker 24 Holy fuck.

Speaker 65 When Meme sent me that, he's like, I'm sorry about what I'm about to send.

Speaker 148 And I hadn't thought about it for probably four months.

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I looked at it.

Speaker 65 I was like, oh my God, the numbers are staggering.

Speaker 15 Now, did you

Speaker 15 think you gained followers or lost followers?

Speaker 133 Lost, probably.

Speaker 55 Probably lost.

Speaker 145 Yeah.

Speaker 67 Hey, listen.

Speaker 113 We all say things.

Speaker 15 We do.

Speaker 60 I stand by it.

Speaker 145 I stand by it.

Speaker 15 You know what, big cat? It's because you were acting in that clip. Try selling truth instead.

Speaker 115 That's true.

Speaker 89 If a gunman came to me, if someone came to me and said, hey, you got to be on a sex tape, I probably would be like,

Speaker 132 I've come too fast.

Speaker 125 Sells truth. Yeah.

Speaker 119 Okay, what do we have next?

Speaker 15 Next up, we have the WNBA Rookie of the Year.

Speaker 76 Oh, my God.

Speaker 15 There's a lot of good options here. We've never given this award.
No, it's the first time ever.

Speaker 132 Thank you to Caitlin Clark for growing the game.

Speaker 15 Or thank you to Angel Reese.

Speaker 25 Or thank you to whoever.

Speaker 15 Or thank you to Cameron Brink.

Speaker 74 Oh.

Speaker 15 Those are the nominees. Oh.
Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, people watch the WNBA for her too, and Cameron Brink are the nominees. And the winner of the WNBA Rookie of the Year award is Cameron Brink.

Speaker 157 Wow.

Speaker 15 Cameron Brink, I think she has grown the game.

Speaker 36 And, Huey, you're our WNBA expert.

Speaker 119 How has Cameron Brink been playing?

Speaker 35 She's hurt.

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 47 Yeah, but like only day-to-day?

Speaker 113 But think about this.

Speaker 35 Rest of the season.

Speaker 59 Oh, rest of the season?

Speaker 60 But think about this, baby.

Speaker 83 But the first few games she had.

Speaker 25 Incredible.

Speaker 15 Ratings are so high right now. And that's with Cameron Brink injured.
Imagine what they're going to be when she comes back.

Speaker 49 That's true.

Speaker 83 And fits she's been getting off.

Speaker 52 I did also like the memes that went out about Cameron Brink.

Speaker 123 Those were funny.

Speaker 65 People were finding all kinds of pictures of small men and large women.

Speaker 144 You guys know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 115 What was the impressive part of her season?

Speaker 91 She was on fire to start?

Speaker 11 Yeah, she was just a very good rookie.

Speaker 15 Very similar to Angel Reese in

Speaker 15 how she played and her numbers. A little bit better shooter.

Speaker 48 She was great at Stanford.

Speaker 15 Well, I also think, didn't she make, I think she made the Olympic team before Caitlin Clark did.

Speaker 173 Yeah.

Speaker 15 It was the three-on-three team. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 78 That's a fact.

Speaker 15 She should be representing this country right now.

Speaker 8 All right, Cameron Brink is our WNBA rookie of the year.

Speaker 72 Congratulations to her.

Speaker 133 Yes. How tall is she?

Speaker 8 She's like 6'2 ⁇ .

Speaker 11 How tall? 6'4 ⁇ ?

Speaker 32 6'4 ⁇ . Yeah, she's a 4'.

Speaker 126 Oh, man.

Speaker 15 And how tall is her guy?

Speaker 39 I don't know, actually.

Speaker 144 Good question. Yeah.

Speaker 55 How tall are you, Huey?

Speaker 67 Six on the dot.

Speaker 93 Oh, On the dot.

Speaker 104 Good for you.

Speaker 15 Is that wait? When you say six on the dot, you can't actually

Speaker 11 without you

Speaker 39 six point o one.

Speaker 141 I don't

Speaker 39 want to test it. All right.
All right.

Speaker 11 All right. I'm up for debate.
All right.

Speaker 29 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 157 Back to back.

Speaker 53 Back to back.

Speaker 53 All right.

Speaker 1 Next up, we have

Speaker 103 the Ruth Conda Forever Award, Takey of the Year.

Speaker 18 This is now this is our coworker, Kevin.

Speaker 7 Kevin Clancy started this when we had the famous Ruth Conda tweet that went viral.

Speaker 124 I think it was

Speaker 7 four or five years ago.

Speaker 88 It read, just told my 10-year-old daughter about our RBG with his Ruth Bader Ginsburg when she passed away.

Speaker 157 What's this?

Speaker 55 First I'm hearing of this.

Speaker 55 Yeah, she

Speaker 65 what was the song playing? Fuck.

Speaker 15 It was like a hilarious. When he's on the tarmac? Yeah.
It's a great clip.

Speaker 89 It was like Rocket Man or something.

Speaker 83 Yeah, it was Rocket Man.

Speaker 78 Yeah, I think it was Rocket Man.

Speaker 63 All right, so just told my 10-year-old daughter about RBG.

Speaker 8 She had tears in her eyes, and then she did the Wakanda pose and said, Ruth Conda forever, which is the sort of pop culture crossover that I can celebrate.

Speaker 115 I love that.

Speaker 8 So, this award is for people who basically just go online and lie about what their kids say in terms of politics because they're too scared to say it themselves.

Speaker 15 The lowest of the low.

Speaker 25 The lowest of the low.

Speaker 15 Imagine having a fictional child say something online.

Speaker 25 The lowest of the low.

Speaker 8 So, the nominees this year, we have some good, we have three great nominees.

Speaker 20 One happened just recently.

Speaker 96 This is from Jojo Jojo from Jurz.

Speaker 42 She said, I told my 11-year-old daughter that Joe had dropped out, and she started to cry, and through her tears, she asked, so who will run now?

Speaker 115 And I said, Kamala. And then she shouted, fuck yes.

Speaker 15 That's so, that's so true.

Speaker 18 So true.

Speaker 15 And it's so sweet.

Speaker 106 So true.

Speaker 15 She's one of those Twitter accounts that she has to be online all the time. She has to have notifications set up for.

Speaker 15 Every tweet, no matter what part of the news ecosystem it comes from. If it's politics, sports, weather, she's always like the first reply to

Speaker 68 the wild move.

Speaker 33 Yes.

Speaker 36 The next is from Ellie NYC.

Speaker 95 She said, or he, I don't know, Ellie?

Speaker 101 1-L?

Speaker 69 Ellie.

Speaker 121 E-L-I-E?

Speaker 15 Ellie Schmidt.

Speaker 152 Yeah.

Speaker 8 My kid just said, it's sad to watch a pack of lies beat a good person just because the good person can't speak.

Speaker 115 Talking about Joe Biden versus Donald Trump in their debate.

Speaker 15 That's a fair point. Like, you can't lie if you can't talk.
Yeah.

Speaker 88 And Ellie replied, I literally just gave him a hug and said that debates don't matter.

Speaker 134 Turns out debates do matter.

Speaker 66 They do a lot. They matter a lot.

Speaker 15 It's kind of where they're kind of

Speaker 15 where you talk about it.

Speaker 93 All fell apart.

Speaker 33 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay, so, and then the last one is from Rebecca Hazelton.

Speaker 49 She said, Everyone dies one day, everyone, even wolves, but not books, not words.

Speaker 30 Words don't die. My son, three,

Speaker 25 who is a lot smarter than I am?

Speaker 15 Words don't die.

Speaker 166 There's no, I have a three-year-old.

Speaker 15 I don't think three-year-olds know what death is.

Speaker 34 A three-year-old's never constructed this type of sentence.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 47 Like, let alone the death part.

Speaker 1 The sentence. Yeah, no, three-year-old, my son started talking to me about death around four and a half.

Speaker 8 My three-year-old has no idea.

Speaker 128 But again, let me read it.

Speaker 166 This is from a three-year-old.

Speaker 36 Everyone dies one day.

Speaker 113 Everyone.

Speaker 54 Everyone. Everyone.

Speaker 115 Yeah, let me do it in a kid's voice.

Speaker 117 Everyone dies one day.

Speaker 28 Everyone.

Speaker 126 Even wolves.

Speaker 19 But not books.

Speaker 168 Not woods.

Speaker 95 Woods don't die.

Speaker 59 What the fuck?

Speaker 15 Why did this is bad parenting? Why did you teach your three-year-old that wolves die?

Speaker 48 Seriously?

Speaker 59 And that everyone dies.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I don't want to know that when I'm three.

Speaker 93 No.

Speaker 33 Hell no.

Speaker 7 Okay, so Ruth Conda Forever, which is a... I'm happy we added this category.

Speaker 42 Shout out, Kevin.

Speaker 50 And the winner is for the Ruth Conda Forever Takey Award.

Speaker 120 It's Rebecca Hazelton.

Speaker 8 Everyone dies one day.

Speaker 120 Everyone.

Speaker 168 Even wolves, but not books, not words.

Speaker 87 Words don't die.

Speaker 115 My son, three,

Speaker 98 who is a lot smarter than I am.

Speaker 15 Wolves die.

Speaker 42 Wolves die.

Speaker 5 But not words.

Speaker 48 So we taped the Takeys over two days, so a little out of order at points.

Speaker 42 And I tried to coach my three-year-old to say this whole thing, and I sent you guys a video, and she got the last sentence, and it wasn't even correct.

Speaker 15 Yeah, it was like, I think she said words. Yeah, words.

Speaker 24 So

Speaker 120 it proves yet again that this is the most bullshit thing ever. I was saying the words to her, feeding her lines, and she couldn't get it.

Speaker 15 If you do have a child, though, that is that eloquent, what a content gold mine that would be.

Speaker 90 Seriously.

Speaker 15 You can just retire right now. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Quick break. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 15 Whether you you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 15 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 15 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.
The 20th award that we're giving out this year is for the 17th best quarterback of the year.

Speaker 93 Whoa.

Speaker 15 First annual. I think we're going to repeat this next year.
Yes. It seems like a good category.
Yes. The 2024 takey nominees for 17th best quarterback of the year are

Speaker 15 Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 74 Oh.

Speaker 144 Could Kirk win this?

Speaker 117 17th best quarterback?

Speaker 72 That's a little bit past half.

Speaker 33 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 54 Oh.

Speaker 15 He might have been worse worse than that, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 15 I think we had him in the 20s. Okay.

Speaker 15 Gardner Minshew.

Speaker 15 That feels about right for Gardner.

Speaker 100 Yep, I feel like he could win this.

Speaker 15 Geno Smith

Speaker 15 and Dak Prescott.

Speaker 15 And the winner of the first annual 17th Best Quarterback of the Year Award is Dak Prescott.

Speaker 157 Wow.

Speaker 32 Congrats, Daksha.

Speaker 69 Congrats.

Speaker 5 Now, we didn't do this award just so that we could put it on a

Speaker 103 logo and post it, did we?

Speaker 15 No, we grinded through hours and hours of tape. We watched every throw that he made going back to Mississippi State.
We watched everything about Dak Prescott. Yes.
And we put together a

Speaker 15 spreadsheet and a proprietary algorithm, and it spat this out. So Dak is officially the 17th best quarterback in the NFL.

Speaker 84 Wow, incredible.

Speaker 8 Now it's cemented because once you win a takeie, it's cemented forever.

Speaker 115 That is what you are.

Speaker 110 Okay, we got a few left.

Speaker 5 We're rounding it out.

Speaker 115 We still got Blake of the Year left. We still got podcast listeners of the year left.

Speaker 92 But next up, we have the best four-win team of the year.

Speaker 152 Now, you might be saying, what the hell?

Speaker 131 Four-win teams?

Speaker 8 But guess what?

Speaker 16 Four-win teams are usually the teams that are next up.

Speaker 15 There were some great four-win teams.

Speaker 16 They're building something.

Speaker 139 First up, the New England Patriots, who went 4-13.

Speaker 15 Huge season for your boys.

Speaker 16 Enormous.

Speaker 89 Start of the championship DVD, right, Hank?

Speaker 156 Yep.

Speaker 83 It was Drake May, draft night.

Speaker 93 Also up,

Speaker 123 The Washington Commanders, 4-13.

Speaker 15 Yeah, now I got to give credit to Hank. His 4-win team was better.
We drafted before them, so we got Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 28 That's true.

Speaker 83 Did you see the Giants clip?

Speaker 97 No.

Speaker 83 From Hard Knocks? No.

Speaker 83 The GM asked his son, he said, you got to get Jaden Daniels. If you want to win, you got to take a shot.

Speaker 15 Wow. And then he said, Ruth Conda forever.

Speaker 116 He said, books don't matter.

Speaker 17 No, books matter.

Speaker 151 The Colorado Buffaloes, four and eight.

Speaker 15 Yeah,

Speaker 15 what a great start.

Speaker 89 Incredible season.

Speaker 15 Deion was college football.

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 92 And then finally, the Arizona Cardinals are up for the four-win team of the year with their 4-13 record.

Speaker 15 So they were better than the Patriots because you drafted before the Cardinals, right?

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 15 So they might, according to my metrics here, they're the best four-win team in the NFL.

Speaker 38 Yeah, that's facts.

Speaker 147 Okay, drum roll.

Speaker 118 And the winner for best four-win team of the year goes to the Colorado Buffaloes.

Speaker 133 Congrats, Colorado.

Speaker 68 Incredible.

Speaker 76 I know the SBs probably ignored the Colorado Buffaloes, but not here, not on Pardon My Take.

Speaker 36 We're giving it to them. The best four-win team of the year.

Speaker 15 The SPN doesn't pay any attention to Colorado football.

Speaker 145 Finally, they're getting shine.

Speaker 15 Disgusting. Yep.

Speaker 134 Finally, they're getting signed.

Speaker 15 We also fucked up when we did the Mount Rushmore of Animals that you'd like to be. Yep.
Because if we're taking animal mascots, I feel like Ralphie should be right at the top. Yeah, Ralphie.

Speaker 15 Ralphie's got a great gig. Ralphie lives on a farm outside Boulder.
They bring her onto the field.

Speaker 58 She runs, and they don't really tell her where to go.

Speaker 15 They're just like, we're bringing this buffalo out into the field. Yeah.
And let's just let the chips fall where they may. Yeah.

Speaker 89 Ralphie's the best.

Speaker 147 Okay.

Speaker 148 What do we got next?

Speaker 15 Okay, up next we have the buyout of the year.

Speaker 144 Ooh, good one.

Speaker 15 A lot of good buyouts in 2023, 2024.

Speaker 15 First nominee is

Speaker 15 Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 113 Yeah, the buyout king.

Speaker 15 Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 15 Two in a row in Utah. He's putting together a mini dynasty of buyouts.
Hasn't played a single second of basketball, practiced with the team even.

Speaker 15 But he's getting paid. Yeah.
Next up, we have Monty Williams.

Speaker 15 Monty Williams' former son.

Speaker 25 Double buyout.

Speaker 15 Former Piston. Yeah.
Back-to-back.

Speaker 15 And the final nominee for buyout of the year is Jimbo Fisher. Yeah.
Jimbo Fisher got the big check from Texas A ⁇ M.

Speaker 15 We saw the big check get delivered onto the field the week before the buyout happened.

Speaker 20 One of the best college football wrinkles, like Texas AM, especially because of all the oil money.

Speaker 20 Uh, but yeah, the donor donating like a hundred million dollars at halftime of a Texas AM game, and then seven days later, Jimbo Fisher getting bought out was so perfect.

Speaker 15 And all three of these guys really hats off to them, yeah, they're all winners because you've accomplished the American dream. Correct, you're getting paid to stop working, correct?

Speaker 146 That's awesome.

Speaker 15 The winner of the 2024 Buyout of the Year takey is Jimbo Fisher. Wow, Texas AM.
The

Speaker 15 price of oil and gas went up. They were able to afford it.
Got him out of town. Now he's just going to go fishing for a while.

Speaker 72 What was his buyout again?

Speaker 15 Shit, what was it?

Speaker 42 Jimbo Fisher's buyout. It was so awesome.

Speaker 15 I want to say he got like $70 million.

Speaker 8 It's also so funny because when you get a buyout, $75 million,

Speaker 128 when you get a buyout like that, you get a bunch of people.

Speaker 8 Oh, $77 million.

Speaker 17 You get a bunch of people who don't follow college football that like fly in from the crowd and being like, they can't fire him.

Speaker 128 The buyout's too big.

Speaker 169 It's like, no, no, no, no, listen, there's no buyout too big.

Speaker 15 When you're the only game in town, if you're especially at a big state school that's in a small town, that's where all the money goes. Yes.
So they will figure out a way to at least be now.

Speaker 15 This is actually a sweet spot for schools. Like we always say Penn State, but I also feel like AM could sneak into a college football playoff, too.
Yeah. This is a good spot for them.
Yeah, that is.

Speaker 25 Move. It is.

Speaker 113 Okay.

Speaker 1 Next up, Max, get off of my Taylor Swift tweet.

Speaker 94 You're going to accidentally retweet it.

Speaker 52 I know that's what you're going to do.

Speaker 15 It's up to 40 million views.

Speaker 5 Get off of it.

Speaker 160 You just retweeted it?

Speaker 151 Come on, dude.

Speaker 25 You fucking asshole.

Speaker 59 It is funny, though. It was accident.

Speaker 26 It was accident.

Speaker 25 That was a little bit

Speaker 55 fat face.

Speaker 15 Max, you do have just like an ace in the hole at all times.

Speaker 148 You just retweet it every day.

Speaker 25 I won't delete it.

Speaker 126 I'll never delete it.

Speaker 147 Okay,

Speaker 16 let's get to our next award.

Speaker 138 Can't win the big one of the year.

Speaker 133 A lot of athletes can't win the big one.

Speaker 15 A lot of big ones out there that can't be won.

Speaker 20 Yeah, so we had

Speaker 112 Connor McDavid can't win the big one.

Speaker 22 Can't do it. Can't win the big one.

Speaker 15 Almost did.

Speaker 2 People say he's the best, but he can't win the big one.

Speaker 15 He won three out of seven of the big ones. Yeah.

Speaker 177 Caitlin Clark can't win the big one.

Speaker 169 Can't win the big one.

Speaker 95 Cannot win the big one.

Speaker 169 College.

Speaker 15 College.

Speaker 42 Choke.

Speaker 15 WNBA, probably.

Speaker 36 Can't win the big one.

Speaker 15 Olympics, no gold medal for her. Nope.

Speaker 53 Roy McElroy.

Speaker 15 Can't win the big one. Can't win the big one.
I don't think he's ever going to win a major. I don't think so.

Speaker 15 He's going to be one of those guys that you look back on and you're like, Colin Montgomery. What could have been? Can't win a major.
Yeah. Sergio Garcia can't win a major.

Speaker 148 Can't do it.

Speaker 98 Lamar Jackson can't win the big one.

Speaker 15 He's got a lot of number two.

Speaker 18 They were favored at home.

Speaker 63 Perfect setup.

Speaker 20 Number one seed.

Speaker 89 Incredible season.

Speaker 126 Can't win the big one. Run the football.
Run the football.

Speaker 66 Max and the lottery ball.

Speaker 15 Max is never going to get this lottery ball.

Speaker 34 Never going to get the lottery ball.

Speaker 15 It's so funny watching Max just not get the lottery ball ever.

Speaker 169 He can't win the big one.

Speaker 135 The good thing is that I can win the big one with my sports teams.

Speaker 104 Actually,

Speaker 8 Joel Mbiad's the next nominee.

Speaker 25 Can't win the big one.

Speaker 152 And he can't even win the small one.

Speaker 177 He can't win the big one before the big one.

Speaker 15 He can't win one.

Speaker 177 He actually can't win the big one before the big one, before the big one.

Speaker 15 He's never won

Speaker 15 one that was like above average size. Yeah.

Speaker 30 Can't win it.

Speaker 53 Max can say, oh, gold medal.

Speaker 116 That would actually be really funny if USA finished second.

Speaker 16 Now I'm rooting for it. Shit.
It would be.

Speaker 122 Now I'm rooting for it.

Speaker 22 Damn it.

Speaker 3 But like, that would be everyone.

Speaker 25 I guess

Speaker 135 there's no way that the Bulls or the Wizards would have anyone.

Speaker 3 It would be about you, buddy.

Speaker 15 That's actually a fair statement. Yeah.
That's a fair point.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 15 But it would be about you. But it's also a big loser move to be like, well, if I don't win an NBA championship, at least I've got a gold medal.

Speaker 122 Yeah, Carmelo Anthony.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 130 Friend of the program, Carmelo Anthony.

Speaker 122 Friend of the program.

Speaker 53 We like Carmel Anthony.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 60 And we have a very special guest presenting this award.

Speaker 162 Oh, hey, guys. Whit here, Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 178 I think the number one reoccurring guest on the number one sports podcast in the world, pardon my take. And I'm here to present to you for the 2024 Takeies Award, the award of Can't Win the Big One.

Speaker 178 Nominees. Caitlin Clark, Rory McElroy, Connor McDavid.
Don't like him being a part of it. Go Oilers.
Joel Embiid.

Speaker 18 Who else we got?

Speaker 178 Lamar of the Baltimore Ravens.

Speaker 178 And Max with the lottery ball.

Speaker 25 And the award goes to Caitlin Clark.

Speaker 178 Crimea River Portnoy. Caitlin Clark can't win the big one of the year.

Speaker 101 Wow, Caitlin Clark.

Speaker 12 Thank you, Ryan.

Speaker 50 Incredible. Thank you, Ryan.

Speaker 140 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I mean, I thought that this was going to be Connor McDavid.

Speaker 168 I thought that it was going to be Connor McDavid right up until Ryan Whitney said he would not announce the award saying it was Connor McDavid.

Speaker 15 Yeah, but I think that, you know, Caitlin Clark is a great choice if you had to replace Connor McDavid with somebody.

Speaker 25 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 25 Exactly.

Speaker 15 If maybe, you know what it is?

Speaker 15 This might be kind of mean.

Speaker 15 Whitney, he never won the big one.

Speaker 15 You think he's got... His team did.
You think he's got can't win the big one sensitivity?

Speaker 30 Yeah, he might.

Speaker 148 So that probably is where that's from.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Oops, our bad.

Speaker 15 Sorry, Ryan.

Speaker 15 That just occurred to me right now. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 73 Next up, we have a new award, Sexiest NFL Fan of the Year.

Speaker 128 Ooh. Yeah.

Speaker 25 All right.

Speaker 119 We had some sexy fans.

Speaker 8 Speaking of, Taylor Swift is nominated for Sexiest NFL Fan of the Year.

Speaker 46 For her brain.

Speaker 49 For her brain.

Speaker 111 We also have our good friend Stavi, who had an incredible run with the Ravens that fell short.

Speaker 8 Johnny.

Speaker 14 He was part of the

Speaker 102 team and everything that went into it, so it was pretty cool.

Speaker 30 We have Sprinkles, Detroit Don and Super fans,

Speaker 22 seatmate that came back for a playoff game.

Speaker 15 What does she get dressed up as? Is she a clown?

Speaker 23 I will make that up.

Speaker 131 There's got to be some kind of.

Speaker 98 I thought she was a cupcake. She might be a cupcake.

Speaker 133 Oh, a cupcake. Okay.

Speaker 157 Yeah, I thought that's sexy. That's a whole thing.
Sprinkles.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 36 Sprinkles nominated.

Speaker 41 And Jake Browning's girlfriend nominated again. She was great.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 172 Okay, so we have a very special guest presenter for this award, and let's kick it to him.

Speaker 15 What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Stavi.

Speaker 15 I hopped out straight out of the pool because I'm getting my Michael Phelps on this summer, and I'm here to announce the 2024 takeie for the hottest, sexiest NFL fan.

Speaker 15 And that is, the winner is none other than me, you fucking idiot.

Speaker 15 That's right. Take that, T.
Swifty. Jake Browning's girlfriend.

Speaker 110 Bam. I will never lose to anyone connected to the Cincinnati Bengals.

Speaker 15 Jake Browning, you can lick my Stavros brown eye. The only competitor I have respect for is Springles.
You were a worthy adversary, and you deserve this just as much as I do.

Speaker 14 Thank you. I'm honored to win it, Takey.

Speaker 15 As a special give back to the AWLs who are NFL fans, I am offering to fuck your wife all season as long as the Ravens play your team. as a as a gift to you.

Speaker 151 I will fuck your wife after the Ravens beat your dumbass team on our way to the fucking Super Bowl, baby. Let's go.

Speaker 26 That was pretty good.

Speaker 15 Nice job, Stavi.

Speaker 68 Mustache is looking good, too.

Speaker 90 Look at that.

Speaker 125 Oh, it looks so good.

Speaker 15 He looks kind of like the Natty Bow logo.

Speaker 53 Oh, man.

Speaker 18 So Sprinkles got a little shout out there.

Speaker 15 To the adversary.

Speaker 12 Yeah, so Stavi, he won the award that he was nominated for and presented.

Speaker 15 That's pretty good. Yeah.
Pretty good year for Stavi.

Speaker 52 Great year for Stavi. All right.

Speaker 56 Rounding it out. We got a few more.

Speaker 15 We do. We have a special category here.
New category. The Florio of the Year.

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 15 The Florio of the Year Award.

Speaker 41 Oh, this is a big, this is a big.

Speaker 15 Who's going to win this? The nominees are Mike Florio. Oh.

Speaker 116 Just a lie?

Speaker 55 Just the biggest lie.

Speaker 93 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 15 I thought you guys made your piece. Hey.

Speaker 84 I'm trying to get con.

Speaker 118 Nemes, can you explain Florio of the Year Award?

Speaker 161 Someone who just kind of over-exaggerates stories and

Speaker 55 yeah, kind of lies.

Speaker 25 Okay, kind of lies a little bit.

Speaker 15 What was the thing that he got so upset about, Florio, when sites made up things for... Oh, he got upset about the Archie Manning story.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 Where it was like some websites out there are just generating these inflammatory headlines for clicks.

Speaker 68 That was a great one.

Speaker 15 But yeah, Hank, it's disappointing because you and Mike made your piece publicly.

Speaker 83 No, we have. We're good.
I was just curious what that meant.

Speaker 15 You just called him a liar, though.

Speaker 83 I asked, does it mean lies? But it doesn't.

Speaker 15 Okay. The Florio of the Year nominees are Mike Florio,

Speaker 15 Diana Rossini,

Speaker 15 Matt Miller,

Speaker 15 Dan Graziano. Wow.

Speaker 146 A lot of Italians on this list. Memes.

Speaker 30 Seems like you got a type.

Speaker 15 And the winner of the Florio of the Year Award for 2024 is Mike Florio.

Speaker 33 Wow!

Speaker 15 Mike Florio defending the crown.

Speaker 15 It's all about the family.

Speaker 8 Memes, will you want to accept this award on behalf of Mike Florio?

Speaker 132 Yeah, I would love to.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 161 Dan Graziano came in as a late Florio, but

Speaker 161 I managed to beat him out with just, you know, all-time lies on the Part of My Take podcast, went on an all-time rant.

Speaker 55 But, you know, I'll be back next year to win it.

Speaker 135 Okay. How many of these nominees

Speaker 135 had a story about the New York Jets?

Speaker 25 All four of them.

Speaker 100 Who came up with the nominee list?

Speaker 161 I came up with three out of four.

Speaker 16 Which one did you not?

Speaker 55 Florio was just automatically in.

Speaker 46 So you came up with all four. Yeah.

Speaker 15 I like this category, though. It's like who can unseat Florio? Yeah.
It's like King of the Hill. Yeah.

Speaker 89 Who's the Florio of the Year?

Speaker 37 We'll be watching for next year.

Speaker 147 All right.

Speaker 3 Next up, we have Coach of the Year. Big, big year in sports.

Speaker 8 We had some incredible championship runs. Someone's got to win Coach of the Year.

Speaker 138 The nominees are

Speaker 8 Joe Mazzulla from the Boston Celtics.

Speaker 15 Great coach. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Oh, Hank.

Speaker 16 He's so tired of winning.

Speaker 88 He just doesn't even.

Speaker 15 I've shown more excitement when I got passed in the famous.

Speaker 83 I mean, his nomination, and what the talk when he wins.

Speaker 42 Okay. J.J.
Reddick, lost

Speaker 5 Lakers coach.

Speaker 15 Great coach.

Speaker 53 We have Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 115 Won national title, got hired for the Chargers, our guy, football guy through and through.

Speaker 48 And then Andy Reid with his third Super Bowl.

Speaker 37 Getting close to that.

Speaker 89 Is he the GOAT?

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I mean, it's going to be tough to beat Andy. Yeah.
Andy is in the GOAT conversation. He's halfway there.

Speaker 83 Yeah.

Speaker 68 Well, current coaches.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he's really, really good. And he's got a great quarterback.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 17 He's coaching his balls off.

Speaker 49 All right.

Speaker 52 We have a special guest presenter for this award.

Speaker 17 I've not seen this video, so let's all watch it together.

Speaker 31 Boys, it is my honor and privilege to announce the 2024 Takey's Coach of the Year, one of my dearest friends, and this is an insanely proud moment for me because this man is like a brother to me, JJ Reddick.

Speaker 31 Fuck you, Max. I know you're sick hearing that name.
Fuck you. Congratulations, JJ.
You have earned this award. You deserve this award, just like everything else in your life.

Speaker 31 Take the Lakers all the way. Listen to me.

Speaker 25 Look at me.

Speaker 31 Take the Lakers all the way because you've got a lot of haters out there, a lot of naysayers. Max being one of them.

Speaker 31 And hey, Max, what are you going to do when the Lakers run wild on your candy asses out there in Philly? Congratulations, bro. Again, you deserve this.
Cherish this moment.

Speaker 15 And I'll see you at Christmas, man.

Speaker 31 F you, Max.

Speaker 166 All right. Disc to JJ.

Speaker 15 Max does hate JJ.

Speaker 25 Incredible.

Speaker 136 Incredible.

Speaker 30 He fucking despises JJ Reddick.

Speaker 45 Oh.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 147 We got three left.

Speaker 15 Should we add one? We didn't do our play of the year.

Speaker 93 Oh.

Speaker 15 The Aspies had their, they gave it to Lamar. Okay.

Speaker 42 Do you guys have a play of the year?

Speaker 3 I have a play of the year.

Speaker 15 Travis Kelsey throwing the lateral to Kadarius Toney that was called back on the flag. Yep.
And Travis and Andy were saying it's sad because that won't be included in Canton one day. Yep.

Speaker 15 Well, we're memorializing it right now. Okay.

Speaker 8 My play of the year is Summer League when Bronnie took it coast to coast and he bricked a 10-footer.

Speaker 15 That's a good one. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Hank?

Speaker 116 Probably.

Speaker 54 Oh, I have one.

Speaker 25 You have another one?

Speaker 15 Well, if Hank couldn't think of one, I had one for him.

Speaker 83 Probably had to be in the Copa.

Speaker 33 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 83 That game winner.

Speaker 52 Which team?

Speaker 83 Argentina. Nice.

Speaker 55 Nice.

Speaker 25 Nice.

Speaker 144 Which team?

Speaker 83 Who are they playing? The semis. I'm blanking on who they're playing, but the semi-final score was incredible.
Portugal.

Speaker 18 Who scored? Portugal.

Speaker 15 When they beat Portugal.

Speaker 18 Do you remember who scored?

Speaker 126 Yeah. Hamas?

Speaker 109 Hamas.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 15 I was going to say that Mac Jones interception in England. You remember that one?

Speaker 15 The one that was underthrown by like 15 yards? That was a great one. Can we nominate that one? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 125 Okay, absolutely. So

Speaker 15 we should let the listeners vote on. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 166 The listeners, we'll put up a poll.

Speaker 25 I have one too. Oh, okay.

Speaker 135 The Jalen Carter almost interception off of the spike.

Speaker 123 Nah, that wasn't that cool.

Speaker 95 Yeah.

Speaker 95 That wasn't.

Speaker 150 He lost the game.

Speaker 25 But it was cool.

Speaker 95 Yeah, no, it wasn't cool.

Speaker 72 All right, so we'll let the listeners vote.

Speaker 131 They have four to vote on, so it'll be given out after the listeners vote.

Speaker 42 All right, so the last three awards, PFT, you got one of them?

Speaker 15 Yeah, this is the preemptive take of the year award. So this is where we try to get out ahead of the story and call something way in the future.
Yes.

Speaker 15 And I'm excited to see what you guys have because we don't know what each other's preemptive takes are. Yeah.
So how do we want to start this?

Speaker 16 Who wants to start?

Speaker 8 Why don't we start with memes and we'll go around and we'll end with Hank.

Speaker 158 Memes, your preemptive take of the year.

Speaker 167 All right. The 76ers will implode with Paul George.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 161 And Joel Embiid will force himself to the Knicks.

Speaker 93 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 93 Wow.

Speaker 15 I mean, that would be crazy if true.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 135 The 76ers will succeed with Paul George.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 135 And Joellen Biede will win an Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

Speaker 101 Whoa.

Speaker 50 In a losing effort?

Speaker 135 In a winning effort.

Speaker 25 Oh, okay.

Speaker 135 We're not ready to say.

Speaker 137 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so what's your dream?

Speaker 15 What was your wildest dream?

Speaker 7 That's our wildest imagery.

Speaker 135 This isn't dream of the year.

Speaker 134 This is take of the year. What's dream of the year?

Speaker 15 In your wildest take, the Sixers still lose in the finals.

Speaker 135 Correct. That's not what I said.

Speaker 15 You come in second place.

Speaker 135 That's not what I said. He could win both.

Speaker 135 But I said that he will win the Eastern Conference Finals MVP.

Speaker 15 I personally, if I thought they were going to win the whole thing, I would have started there.

Speaker 75 That could be your take?

Speaker 83 The Eastern Harvest Finals, MVP.

Speaker 108 Yeah, who does?

Speaker 25 That's my take.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 139 Huey.

Speaker 59 The WNBA.

Speaker 136 Okay.

Speaker 15 The finals of the WNBA specifically will have more ratings, will have the third most ratings in the fall.

Speaker 25 Wait,

Speaker 50 more ratings or third most?

Speaker 15 Third most in the fall, the season of fall. So behind college football and the NFL, there needs to be a third place.

Speaker 15 And the WNBA finals will surpass the NBA opening, will surpass the NHL, and it'll be the third most watched sport.

Speaker 25 World Series?

Speaker 11 It'll battle the World Series, and it will be three.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 25 I like that.

Speaker 59 Who do you have in the finals?

Speaker 15 The Vegas Aces, obviously.

Speaker 11 Mrs.

Speaker 15 Plum and Mrs. Wilson.
And the other side's up in the air yet.

Speaker 25 Okay. Up in the air yet.

Speaker 8 I've noticed Huey adds words that don't need to be there.

Speaker 152 That's okay.

Speaker 134 And I love it.

Speaker 15 We need to up the word count of each podcast. We get paid by the word.

Speaker 21 Up in the air yet.

Speaker 44 Yet doesn't need to be in there

Speaker 13 it's like almost like he's he doesn't he he knows he's done talking but he's like let me just get one more in there i fucking love it all right shane you got one you got one

Speaker 98 take

Speaker 15 take preemptive take am i rolling yeah um gus edwards will lead the nfl in rushing touchdowns okay okay What team does he play for?

Speaker 55 He's on the Charger. Oh, interesting.

Speaker 166 And what's on your shirt right now?

Speaker 60 What's on your shirt right now? Offense.

Speaker 42 What's your shirt, say? What is your shirt?

Speaker 60 Yes,

Speaker 60 I can't.

Speaker 41 Oh, is it a Charger shirt?

Speaker 24 Oh, it's the Junior Seattle.

Speaker 41 Okay, all right, got it, got it.

Speaker 15 It's nice as outfit.

Speaker 125 Okay.

Speaker 28 All right, boys.

Speaker 15 My preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift and Travis are going to get engaged. Oh.

Speaker 15 And then she's going to put out a terrible album because she's happy. And she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about.

Speaker 15 And then all her fans are going to start to hate her because her music sucks because she's happy with her personal life.

Speaker 109 Wow.

Speaker 25 I like it.

Speaker 121 I like it. Okay.

Speaker 112 My preemptive take of the year.

Speaker 124 I believe

Speaker 115 Henry Lockwood is going to dunk.

Speaker 55 Let's go.

Speaker 46 Not.

Speaker 5 Got naughty.

Speaker 42 I can't believe you fell for that.

Speaker 153 I believe.

Speaker 108 Okay.

Speaker 98 That's my preemptive take.

Speaker 95 Henry Lockwood's going to dunk.

Speaker 144 Not.

Speaker 83 That's improper English.

Speaker 93 Is it?

Speaker 60 There's a comment in there. Dunk knot.

Speaker 131 Dunk knot.

Speaker 134 No, I think you're gonna be able to dunk.

Speaker 33 I really do.

Speaker 115 I actually do.

Speaker 35 I do too.

Speaker 15 Psych.

Speaker 25 Hank? My premise.

Speaker 69 Are you high right now, Hank? No. How high?

Speaker 15 I should rephrase that. How high?

Speaker 116 0% high.

Speaker 100 I believe you're going to be able to dunk, Hank.

Speaker 83 I just don't want to say thank you because I said thank you. I got knotted.

Speaker 83 What type of knot? What type of knot was that, PFT?

Speaker 15 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 66 I believe you're going to be able to dunk.

Speaker 128 Thank you.

Speaker 80 Psych! Yeah.

Speaker 70 That's fine.

Speaker 52 No, I actually do.

Speaker 65 I actually 100% believe you're going to dunk.

Speaker 37 Because you've been working out a lot.

Speaker 116 You've been training a lot.

Speaker 30 Thanks. Gotcha.

Speaker 166 All right. What's your preemptive take?

Speaker 15 It wouldn't be the most shocking thing if you did. No.

Speaker 15 I think I'm going to take it. It's opposite day.
Yeah.

Speaker 25 Okay, what's your preemptive take?

Speaker 83 My preemptive take of the year is that Drake May and New England Patriots

Speaker 83 are going to have more combined wins than the Washington football team and Chicago Bears.

Speaker 155 Combined?

Speaker 104 Combined.

Speaker 110 That is the craziest thing.

Speaker 6 That's wild.

Speaker 15 That's wild, Hank.

Speaker 95 That's wild. How many wins?

Speaker 83 Seven.

Speaker 83 So

Speaker 73 we're going to have six combined?

Speaker 83 More equal. So maybe one has four, one has three.

Speaker 15 That's wild.

Speaker 55 That's a wild take, Hank.

Speaker 110 Would you like to wager on that?

Speaker 83 No, I'm already in pretty deep with PFT, so I'm just going to.

Speaker 15 Yeah, oh, that's right. Sometimes I forget, like, I feel like I'm a bad gambler, and then I remember that Hank is going to owe me, what, $20,000?

Speaker 55 I think it's $50,000.

Speaker 15 $50,000.

Speaker 78 No, you're going to owe me $50,000.

Speaker 83 Yeah, I think you're already going to be up $20,000.

Speaker 15 I think it was $50,000 to $3, or $50,000 to $30,000. I think you might owe me $30,000.

Speaker 83 It wasn't that.

Speaker 15 If the Patriots don't make the Super Bowl in how many years?

Speaker 16 I think it was 50 to 10.

Speaker 6 I think it was five years, but a year is.

Speaker 82 There's no way I gave you 50 to 30.

Speaker 60 So it's four more years.

Speaker 15 Yeah, four more years.

Speaker 116 Yeah.

Speaker 56 Yeah, it's like there's always money in the bananas. I got it.

Speaker 15 I'm rich. Yeah.
I'm going to be so rich in four years.

Speaker 20 They got to make a Super Bowl the next four years.

Speaker 153 Easy. That was.

Speaker 15 You love Drake May.

Speaker 116 I actually do. Yeah.

Speaker 15 I know. I've seen the t-shirt.

Speaker 28 You should release that.

Speaker 15 Okay, quick.

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Speaker 61 Okay, it's time for one of the most important awards we give away every single year at the Takeies.

Speaker 14 It is Blake of the Year time.

Speaker 25 So.

Speaker 7 Here's what we're doing.

Speaker 8 We've done them many different ways.

Speaker 23 For people who are listening to their first Takeys, Blake of the Year is

Speaker 17 Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, and we've added Brooks Kepka probably five years ago.

Speaker 42 He is a Blake.

Speaker 72 I don't know what the exact stats are.

Speaker 23 I believe Blake Griffin is a three-time winner.

Speaker 68 I think it's Blake Bortles has two. Yeah, two.

Speaker 15 Brooks, sadly,

Speaker 15 can't win the big one. He has zero.

Speaker 6 So we've done it every single way.

Speaker 45 We've done it first to answer the phone call.

Speaker 114 We've done trivia.

Speaker 107 We did the famous lottery ball year, which was painful, and I'm shocked that these guys even still return our text messages.

Speaker 100 This year, we're going old school with a new school twist.

Speaker 61 It's going to be similar to the phone call, the first to answer the phone one

Speaker 23 previous Blake of the Years.

Speaker 48 This year, we're going to do a Zoom link.

Speaker 113 So I've told all three Blakes a window, and it's we're in the window right now.

Speaker 45 They're in all different parts of the world.

Speaker 47 Blake Brooks is in the UK.

Speaker 120 Blake Griffin is in LA.

Speaker 45 Blake Bortles is in Florida.

Speaker 121 When I texted them asking them what their availability was, Brooks said he's playing in a golf tournament in England.

Speaker 23 Blake Griffin said that he's got some meetings and shit that he's got to attend to.

Speaker 86 And Blake Bortles said he has absolutely nothing.

Speaker 15 So Blake Bortles seems like he would be the betting favorite right now.

Speaker 15 Brooks Kepka, not on the course now, though.

Speaker 168 Not on the course, but Blake Bortle's also probably not the most technologically savvy.

Speaker 21 So Blake Griffin feels like he could be the leader in that respect.

Speaker 15 So Blake definitely has practiced. Yeah.
He's like opened up his Zoom. He's made sure that the app is up to date.
Yeah. That it's the most current version.

Speaker 15 Bortles might be kind of lounging around, but he might have more technical difficulties just accessing the app. Correct.
He might not even have the app downloaded.

Speaker 109 Okay.

Speaker 5 And now, how are we judging?

Speaker 6 Is it first to show we're screen recording, so we'll have it exactly right.

Speaker 120 If they both show up at the same time, we'll figure it out. But it's first to join, and we have to hear them and see them, correct?

Speaker 135 They have to connect to video and audio.

Speaker 15 Yeah, so once they join,

Speaker 15 if their video is on the screen and we can't hear them, it doesn't count. Now, are we allowed to tell them we can't hear you?

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 135 Shane,

Speaker 135 if Shane is listening, can you say something real quick just so the people know?

Speaker 52 Check, check, check, check. There we go, check.

Speaker 135 Okay, so that

Speaker 135 way the people know it's not on our end. Right.
Shane is able to connect to video and audio, right?

Speaker 25 Memes.

Speaker 90 Question.

Speaker 11 Blake Bortles is a three times.

Speaker 166 Three times.

Speaker 24 Three threes.

Speaker 6 Three, three, zeros.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 141 Wow.

Speaker 15 Either one will win the best of seven or one will break the dreaded streak, get the monkey off the bat.

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 118 So I'm texting all three right this second.

Speaker 114 I'm saying first person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year.

Speaker 168 Wins Blake of the Year 2024.

Speaker 77 I told them all to even if they don't win if they feel like they didn't win They should still try to connect because we'd like to see them all big cat real quick sidebar.

Speaker 15 I know we just laid out the entire rules and we planned this whole thing out.

Speaker 15 Is it more of a Blake move to not be able to

Speaker 33 know?

Speaker 56 Maybe next year we'll do that wrinkle, but I've already set this up.

Speaker 1 It was a hell of a time setting up three different time zones.

Speaker 168 Wild.

Speaker 15 I thought about it. Blake's probably not

Speaker 2 ready to go.

Speaker 24 We still also,

Speaker 154 next year we're golfing or doing something.

Speaker 100 Next year, we're getting them all three together.

Speaker 113 We'll figure it out.

Speaker 168 I want to get them all three together.

Speaker 101 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 120 First person to connect to video and audio on the Zoom wins Blake of the Year 2024 with the Zoom link.

Speaker 35 Sent.

Speaker 152 Oh, my God.

Speaker 133 Okay.

Speaker 103 What if all of them just don't join?

Speaker 55 And we just say.

Speaker 15 If the Blake's unionized, oh, we have somebody.

Speaker 169 No. No.

Speaker 59 That was so fast. No way.

Speaker 110 It says BG. No way.

Speaker 152 Oh, my God.

Speaker 177 Oh, my God. Can we hear him?

Speaker 32 Hello? Oh, he's here.

Speaker 32 Let's go.

Speaker 26 That was domination.

Speaker 59 You are literally waiting in. Oh, we got another one.

Speaker 26 Oh, no.

Speaker 63 Here comes Blake Portals.

Speaker 118 This is going to be heartbreaking for him.

Speaker 32 Oh. Can't wait to talk shit about my Wi-Fi.

Speaker 15 Oh, and I think we're in the Blake of the Year shirt.

Speaker 154 I think Brooks might have tried to join just now, too.

Speaker 151 Oh, my God.

Speaker 32 Oh, what's up, Brooks?

Speaker 66 What's up, Blake? Oh, dude.

Speaker 179 Mike's Wi-Fi is too fucking good.

Speaker 32 Oh, no.

Speaker 80 And now.

Speaker 75 I'm not going to lie, boys.

Speaker 181 I had my Wi-Fi guy come out this morning. We kicked the restrictor plate off this bad boy.

Speaker 181 Not exactly street legal, but was it worth it?

Speaker 15 That was crazy fast.

Speaker 127 That was

Speaker 99 insanely fast. Wait, is Brooks joined or no?

Speaker 47 No, Brooks is.

Speaker 15 He might just not join.

Speaker 18 Brooks is just the bad luck guy for

Speaker 6 every single year. Blake, I.

Speaker 181 Mortals, we got some beef to settle, man. You're out on the street saying I'm cheating out here.

Speaker 32 Oh,

Speaker 179 dude, it's these restrictor placing your Wi-Fi.

Speaker 179 These catalytic converters you're swiping.

Speaker 32 Wait, listen, man.

Speaker 181 Not street legal, but

Speaker 32 it's worth it.

Speaker 154 That was crazy.

Speaker 166 You joined so fast because we've been taping this whole thing.

Speaker 137 You'll be able to watch it back.

Speaker 181 I went to the chat to check to make sure I was like, it was going to be in this thread and that it came through. Yeah.

Speaker 15 So, Bortas, are you out on your porch right now?

Speaker 179 Yeah, I've been sitting here for what time is it? An hour? Probably

Speaker 68 pretty far away from your router.

Speaker 25 Oh, no.

Speaker 100 And do you know this is Blake Bortles?

Speaker 2 I feel bad saying this to you.

Speaker 6 You guys probably are aware of this, but did you know it was 3-3 until today?

Speaker 179 No. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Is that what the record was? Yes.

Speaker 111 You are a three-time Blake of the Year winner.

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin is now a four-time Blake of the Year winner.

Speaker 32 And Brooks

Speaker 25 zero.

Speaker 15 He might not even join this call. Yeah.

Speaker 15 This is tough look for Brooks.

Speaker 181 I'll tell you what, having your notifications on extra loud for an hour is very annoying.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 120 That was actually shocking how fast you joined because we had a moment when we set the whole thing up.

Speaker 47 We're like,

Speaker 42 what if none of these guys joined for like a half hour?

Speaker 120 And we're just sitting here like fucking assholes just being like, will anyone join?

Speaker 15 Holy shit. I got a tough question for the two of you since Brooks isn't on the chat yet.

Speaker 15 Has the word relegation been thrown around in regards to Brooks Kepka?

Speaker 181 It's an interesting question. If I knew what that meant, I would 100% have an opinion.

Speaker 25 Okay. Like,

Speaker 75 relegate him. Are we going to relegate him down to the

Speaker 25 Brooks League? Yeah. Drop him down to Brooks.

Speaker 181 I don't know. I mean, I feel like that's up to you guys.
I don't know if that's a Blake's call.

Speaker 73 I'll say this in Brooks' defense.

Speaker 120 He is probably at the biggest disadvantage because he's in England and he said that he's at a remote place that has very bad Wi-Fi.

Speaker 168 I think he just needs to quit the live tour and focus on Blake of the Year.

Speaker 181 Yeah, if he was serious about it, I guess. know.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 120 Blake Griffin, do you want to say anything you want to accept in speech? I mean, this is one of the biggest Takey Awards that we give out every year.

Speaker 181 Yeah, I mean, honestly, dude,

Speaker 181 Blake, you can probably attest to this, but everywhere I go, somebody yells Blake of the Year. Somebody yells Blake of the Year.

Speaker 181 So, I mean, this is a huge award, and

Speaker 181 it means a lot to all of us. Some of us, it means a little bit more.
I guess Brooks doesn't really care, but you know what?

Speaker 181 I'm just happy to take it home this year. Great competition all around.

Speaker 55 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 And I feel like this is a dynasty for you, too.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 181 Now I get to do the Clay Thompson thing all the time and hold up four.

Speaker 25 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 This is, are you bad for Blakes? Are you so good at Blake of the Year?

Speaker 181 It might be, it might be bad for Blakes.

Speaker 119 Wait, who won last year?

Speaker 154 Bortles did. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 23 So, okay, so this is there's parody in this league still.

Speaker 179 Is it Odeva? Was it best of seven?

Speaker 32 Please, God.

Speaker 25 We're just going to keep going.

Speaker 111 So, Blake Portals, what do you, I mean,

Speaker 120 I said beforehand, before we sent out the Zoom link, that the text messages when I sent you guys setting this all up was very funny because Brooks was like, I'm playing in a golf tournament and Blake Griffin was like, I have some things going on.

Speaker 89 And you're like, I literally have nothing.

Speaker 30 So

Speaker 139 what is you going to do to change

Speaker 23 in this offseason?

Speaker 128 Because you just have to give up the award and now you have a whole year to think about it.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 179 And it's especially a tough look when I had nothing going on.

Speaker 15 And I couldn't have joined.

Speaker 179 I couldn't have joined any sooner. And I joined, and you guys are, and Blake are just in a full conversation already.
It's not even like he's still trying to figure it out and connect.

Speaker 179 He was already in.

Speaker 179 So I think I'm going to have to start packing the schedule a little bit and change things up. Yeah.

Speaker 25 It's got to be heart pressed.

Speaker 15 That's a good idea. And also in Brooks' defense, he's the only one that still has like a current job

Speaker 15 that they work at. So a little bit busy.

Speaker 81 True.

Speaker 80 Both you guys nod.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I can't wait to make the part of my take movie and we get the actor from Clipped to play Blake Bortles. Yeah.

Speaker 68 Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin.

Speaker 15 We'll get Sam Hauser's brother to play Bortles.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 118 I know we say this every year, but next year we have to get everyone together.

Speaker 75 We're going to do it.

Speaker 128 I feel like we're going to do it.

Speaker 154 We're going to get you back out of Tahoe, Blake Portals.

Speaker 179 Yeah, I got dropped from that roster pretty quickly. Did you play out there, Blake?

Speaker 181 I did. Day one was

Speaker 32 that. It was so fun.

Speaker 181 Brutal day one. And then, dude, I was like shaking over my practice putts.

Speaker 181 And then day two, day two and three. Oh, terrifying.
The people lined up on the T-box. It's like, what are we doing, guys?

Speaker 181 And then day two and three, I played a little bit better, but I, you know, I had no aspirations of winning.

Speaker 32 It was

Speaker 181 strictly go out there and don't be last. Luckily, A-Rod, miles telling, we're out there.

Speaker 25 I heard you saw a bear, too.

Speaker 181 Dude, I was 10 feet from a bear. Yeah.
I look over and I hear something in the tree, and I look over, and this bear is just like bear hugging this tree, and he's just looking around it at me. Yeah.

Speaker 100 And Max, I was like, Max, go get the bear.

Speaker 91 And then that woman was like, hey, you probably shouldn't do that.

Speaker 135 Yeah, I went to go over towards the bear, and there was people working there, and they were like,

Speaker 57 don't go near that bear. Don't go near that bear.

Speaker 109 Very aggressive.

Speaker 181 yeah apparently it was like a mama bear with like three cubs and you don't want to get in the mama bear's way no that's how we feel about the blakes yeah don't with them yeah i don't think

Speaker 67 i don't think he's gonna join no i don't think he's gonna join i think he's asleep it is like 10 p.m it is late there yeah it's 10 p.m and he's got a golf round the next day what were you gonna say what was your what was your best round blake

Speaker 181 uh i think i i mean i'm not good i think i shot an 84 day two maybe it's pretty good Respectable.

Speaker 179 With people watching out there, it's a lot. Having to make every putt.

Speaker 181 How tough are like the two footers that everybody's normally like, yeah, you're good, and you still got to putt those?

Speaker 179 They're terrible. One of the first times I played in, my dad caddied for me the first day.
And after like the fourth time, I missed an 18-inch putt, he just stopped.

Speaker 179 Somebody out of the crowd come carry this bag.

Speaker 45 Blake, I caddied for Blake Griffin for like probably four or five holes, and I got a new golf term for you that I'd never seen on the golf course.

Speaker 89 Blake Griffin shot a shot that went like, I don't know, 100 feet into the woods, and the guy we were playing with was like, that was the great shape of that shot.

Speaker 47 I don't even know what the fuck that means, but it sounded nice.

Speaker 33 It was a terrible shot.

Speaker 181 It wasn't like 100 yards feet in the woods. It was like 70, 70, 80 tops.

Speaker 63 But it was great shape.

Speaker 32 It was pretty.

Speaker 181 Can you imagine the shape on that thing?

Speaker 137 I just turned to him.

Speaker 112 I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

Speaker 104 That was a bad shot.

Speaker 113 But yeah, Blake Griffin can fucking bomb the ball.

Speaker 32 I watched it.

Speaker 181 Let's get you back out to

Speaker 181 Tahoe next year, and we'll do like a little, we should do a little Blake thing out there. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Maybe we do Blake of the Year right before the tournament. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Brooks, Brooks.

Speaker 181 Make them pair us together at least one day. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 169 That would be incredible.

Speaker 103 Brooks has to play lefty.

Speaker 15 I think Brooks might still win. Yeah.

Speaker 133 Brooks probably is like, oh, I got a whole problem.

Speaker 25 I'm making like me and no.

Speaker 181 How about me and Bordell scramble? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 179 Yeah.

Speaker 50 Versus me and PFT.

Speaker 181 And we play from like the forward team.

Speaker 77 Yeah.

Speaker 59 Yeah.

Speaker 33 I think

Speaker 15 you guys could, that would definitely level it out.

Speaker 135 And then between the two of you, it's whoever... whoever you take more shots from.

Speaker 55 Oh.

Speaker 135 So then there's also competition between the two of you. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Oh, okay.

Speaker 25 I like that. Oh, good.
That was good.

Speaker 32 All right, Max, yeah, that was Max, dude.

Speaker 181 Styling assassin over there, can't see him, but yeah, he's in the booth.

Speaker 32 Great idea, yeah, there he is. There it is, there's

Speaker 135 back here, just producing back here.

Speaker 48 Is all, yeah, we got a new, we got a new intern, Huey, there, too.

Speaker 2 He's uh, he's a Pistons fan, actually, Blake.

Speaker 181 Oh, hey, sorry, Huey,

Speaker 32 sorry, buddy.

Speaker 79 Oh, shoot,

Speaker 32 okay, you know what?

Speaker 181 Yeah, by the way, since I left, I've been doing great. Congratulations, man.

Speaker 32 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 15 Huey, do you want to tell Blake about your idea for a sitcom? I have a TV pilot coming out one day.

Speaker 128 Oh, yeah, Blake, you should buy this.

Speaker 15 You'll love this. It's about two brothers, one named Carmelo, the other, Anthony.

Speaker 15 Born in Denver, Colorado, a couple days before you know who gets traded to the Knicks.

Speaker 144 And their dad...

Speaker 15 grows up their whole life resenting them, you know, because there's named Carmelo and Anthony. And I can tell you're not going with it.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 181 Dude, if you could just throw that in an email,

Speaker 181 I'll put my email in the chat.

Speaker 181 Just shoot that over to me, and I'll get that in front of my people, ASAP. Thanks, thank you.

Speaker 81 Thank you.

Speaker 128 Way to apart there.

Speaker 62 That was a good, that was a way to read the room, Huey.

Speaker 15 You didn't get to the part about a new kid named Nicola.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Oh, man.

Speaker 26 All right.

Speaker 118 Well, thank you both, Blakes. You guys are the best.
We love you.

Speaker 95 Blake Griffin, congratulations.

Speaker 118 You have a full year as Blake of the Year.

Speaker 166 The trophy's back in your house.

Speaker 15 I feel like we got to make new shirts. Yeah.
Doing the Clay Thompson four rings on there. Yeah.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Okay.

Speaker 81 Well, thank you, boys.

Speaker 179 Appreciate it. Congrats, Blake.

Speaker 25 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 26 He's pissed.

Speaker 179 I'm stoked for you, man.

Speaker 32 I'm so fucking excited.

Speaker 181 Thanks, man. Really, really felt genuine.

Speaker 179 Yeah, I'm happy for you. Enjoy these 12 months.

Speaker 137 All right. See you, boys.

Speaker 25 All right. See you

Speaker 118 later oh and that's blake of the year

Speaker 15 our favorite our favorite uh award that we give out i love it i i it broke my heart to see the look on blake portals i know but that was he wanted it that was a thrilling way to do it you're never going to say that blake portals didn't want to win this one yeah holy shit he was so fast blake griffin what was the time on that i would i would estimate it to be under 10 seconds Yeah, it was that fast.

Speaker 129 And I did, now I did give him a three-hour window.

Speaker 6 I was like, here's the three-hour window because they're they're busy guys.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 107 But still, I mean, I do feel bad because Blake Portals, like you said, he'd been just sitting there for an hour waiting and still wasn't able to do it.

Speaker 15 I mean, congrats. It's tough to beat greatness.
Yeah. And what we're witnessing right now is greatness.

Speaker 4 Four-time Blake of the Year winner.

Speaker 113 All right.

Speaker 21 We have one last award, PFT.

Speaker 91 And we should just give it out ourselves.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 87 It's a podcast listeners of the year award.

Speaker 145 Pretty important award.

Speaker 15 There's a lot of good podcasts out there and a lot of great podcast listeners.

Speaker 89 Yeah, so you want to do the nominees?

Speaker 15 Yeah, the nominees are the hardcore historians that listen to Dan Carlin.

Speaker 55 Yep.

Speaker 15 I've got them on the list. The Politickin fans.
I don't know. What do we call those guys? Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsome, Marshawn Lynch's agent who's known Gavin Newsome for years.
Yep.

Speaker 15 Started working on this podcast six months ago. The Politickin fans.
Yep. And then the AWLs of part of my take.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 25 Oh, wow.

Speaker 106 So who won?

Speaker 15 I don't think Politickin is out yet. Okay.
So I had to cross that one off the list.

Speaker 168 Should we do a drum roll?

Speaker 15 We can do a drum roll. Okay.

Speaker 119 Huey, you want to announce the winner? He's going to fuck this up.

Speaker 71 No, he's not annoying. He says no.
Smart?

Speaker 15 This is no. Memes, do you want to announce the winner?

Speaker 1 Who won podcast of the year?

Speaker 133 The listeners.

Speaker 161 The award-winning listeners of Part of My Take.

Speaker 56 A nine peak. Oh, podcast.

Speaker 59 A nine peep.

Speaker 144 Nine.

Speaker 56 Nine.

Speaker 56 Nine. Nine.
Nine.

Speaker 5 Update those bios.

Speaker 111 Incredible run.

Speaker 15 You're running out of fingers. Jason, Pierre, Paul, can't count the amount of times that you've won AWL.

Speaker 52 I thought this year was going to be politicking for real.

Speaker 15 Politicking next year. I'm looking in my rearview mirror if I'm the AWLs right now.
Yes.

Speaker 21 So thank you to the AWLs.

Speaker 120 We say it a million times, but I feel like I could say it every show.

Speaker 7 We live a dream life.

Speaker 42 We have the best job ever, and it's because you guys listen to this show.

Speaker 110 Like, we wouldn't be able to do this if you weren't as dedicated to us through ups and downs.

Speaker 168 Sometimes you hate us. Sometimes you love us.
Most of the time you hate Hank.

Speaker 15 Hank's not even here. That's fine.

Speaker 3 So listen to you, get the award.

Speaker 15 Yeah, at the end of every episode, I say love you guys. I truly mean that I love you guys.
Thank you so much. It means the world to Big Cat, me, Hank, everybody in the booth.

Speaker 15 We really, really sincerely appreciate it because there's a bunch of podcasts out there. You don't have to listen to us.
Yep. You've got other options, and you choose to, and it means so much to us.

Speaker 15 So, sincerely, thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and we love you guys.

Speaker 168 And it's also one of those things that nine times, it's crazy

Speaker 168 looking back because I don't know if you feel the same way. It feels like we've been doing this podcast for like five minutes because I don't know.

Speaker 168 It's like just time goes so fast when you're having the time of your life.

Speaker 152 But if you had told me PFT Hank when we were sitting in your Austin apartment or house excuse me I don't want to see it was a house it was a row house it was a row house if you had told us when we were doing the test episode back in 2016

Speaker 168 that we would have this type of success and we'd be doing it for nine years or eight years but nine times for the takeies

Speaker 168 I'd be like there's no fucking way there's just I mean I think we're we can do it but I don't think that we're gonna reach these heights we had that I've told this story, we had that moment when we were driving from the Arizona Bowl back to

Speaker 42 Scottsdale, and we like, it was just two of us in the car, and we're like, what would have happened if we didn't do this podcast?

Speaker 110 And it was a scary, scary thought.

Speaker 91 It's crazy.

Speaker 15 I think it's probably

Speaker 15 the best decision,

Speaker 15 at least in terms of our work of our lives.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 15 And

Speaker 15 it really is like, it's freaky sometimes to think that there's so many people that listen to every episode.

Speaker 15 I try not to think about that as we're recording, but when I do have a moment where I get to sit back and think about it, it makes me just very, very thankful for all you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 15 It's like I said, you've got a choice, and the fact that you choose us means a lot.

Speaker 120 Yeah, thank you. It's immense gratitude that I don't think we can

Speaker 113 we can't accurately convey it other than what we're saying right now, but like what we're saying right now is a very small part of the gratitude we feel.

Speaker 168 So, what are you guys in the booth?

Speaker 2 Anything for the AWLs?

Speaker 14 Great year.

Speaker 135 Yeah, great year. I've only obviously been here for two.
This is my second take since I've been on, but every year I meet more and more of you guys, and it's a great time every time I meet you.

Speaker 135 And I'm really grateful that you guys have given me this life. And I truly, truly do love you guys, like PFT always says.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Means?

Speaker 161 I took some time to reflect.

Speaker 15 last week when you let me ask some questions to Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 161 I'm very appreciative of of everybody on the show and all the people that listen.

Speaker 11 I was working in accounts receivable three years ago, and

Speaker 161 my entire life changed. So, thank you to everybody who listens.

Speaker 108 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously the newest one here.

Speaker 109 It's been a week.

Speaker 15 The people have been awesome. They've been really supportive and nice, and they seem to be very, you know, very excited for the future and willing to hear out everything I got to say.
And

Speaker 15 they just seem like great people.

Speaker 15 I'm excited to work for them and work my ass off for them.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 120 We have the best fans in the world.

Speaker 168 It's not even close.

Speaker 42 I'll put our fans up against anyone else any day of the week.

Speaker 8 I know there's some other podcasts that have added some strong fan bases.

Speaker 21 Still would take the AWLs over them.

Speaker 169 Oh, in an internet war?

Speaker 15 Oh. 100%.
Yeah. Especially since her next album's going to stink.
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 55 She's too happy.

Speaker 15 Not naming names. She's too happy.
The thing about me and Big Cat is we're always upset. Yes.

Speaker 15 So there's always something to gripe about for people to identify with except actually now we might be entering phase two of part of my take where me and big cat have elite quarterbacks yeah true become real assholes actually yeah we might be going down the the we're too happy this might be when it when it when the whole podcast just submarines because everyone's like we don't want to listen to winners all the time yep yep so at least with chiefs fans when they listen to us and if they think that we're doubting patrick mahomes or their team they can at least take solace in the fact that they win something but if our teams win yeah then everyone else is going to be like fuck you guys But we sincerely thank you very, very much.

Speaker 15 Thank you for listening to Takey Awards, and we really love you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 168 So let's finish up with numbers.

Speaker 99 Okay, great takeies, boys.

Speaker 73 Congrats again to the AWLs.

Speaker 75 Nine in a row.

Speaker 128 Hank, what do you think?

Speaker 153 Proud. Proud.

Speaker 25 We did it. Proud.

Speaker 49 Are you wearing those glasses upside down now?

Speaker 15 He's high. No.

Speaker 25 I'm not high. Why do you think I'm high?

Speaker 63 Incredible takeies.

Speaker 8 I love doing this. The Takeies Awards every single year.

Speaker 15 So much fun.

Speaker 15 And we do give the

Speaker 15 award-winning listeners a lot of credit. And every year, I think we say it on the show, but we really do love you.
Thank you very much for listening. Yes.
We appreciate you.

Speaker 15 You guys are the best people in the world.

Speaker 139 We need to do a better job for next year's takeies of figuring out the takeies as they happen in real time.

Speaker 115 Who's going to be in charge of that?

Speaker 8 Because every year we do the same thing.

Speaker 25 I'm going to be all over it. Oh, hell yeah.
All over it.

Speaker 15 No, but you're going to inject it with pro-Philly.

Speaker 11 No, I'm not.

Speaker 104 All right. No, that's good.

Speaker 7 You and memes to combo. Yeah.

Speaker 55 Because we combos.

Speaker 8 We do do this every single year where we get to the takies and then, like, a day before, we're like, wait, what happened this last year?

Speaker 55 Yeah.

Speaker 8 But we pulled it together. I think we had some great winners.

Speaker 1 Congrats to all the winners.

Speaker 85 And let's go to numbers.

Speaker 95 57.

Speaker 113 20.

Speaker 5 42. I love that.

Speaker 135 Nine. This would be great if, you know, can't win the big one just immediately got erased.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 22 But you admit you can't win the big one.

Speaker 135 Eight, no.

Speaker 12 Let's pick one for the AWS just for fun.

Speaker 83 They could have mine.

Speaker 144 No.

Speaker 25 Three.

Speaker 45 What should we pick for the AWS? Nine.

Speaker 55 Nine, nine. I picked nine.

Speaker 109 Oh, but they could have. I'll give them 11.
No, no, no.

Speaker 95 They got nine.

Speaker 152 It's going to be Hank. New number.

Speaker 152 Are we good to say?

Speaker 56 Hank, new number.

Speaker 124 17.

Speaker 157 Three.

Speaker 106 Pug, Shane.

Speaker 75 Pug.

Speaker 78 99, Pug.

Speaker 12 21. Same again in order.
Memes. Go around the room.

Speaker 157 Three.

Speaker 130 20. 42.

Speaker 78 99, Pug.

Speaker 51 twenty-one, eight,

Speaker 94 fifty-six, seventeen.

Speaker 41 AWLs have nine

Speaker 99 fifteen,

Speaker 27 my homes.

Speaker 110 Love you guys.

Speaker 110 Talking away

Speaker 110 I don't know what I'm about to say I'll say it anyway

Speaker 29 Today's another day to find you Shy it away

Speaker 29 Oh I'll be coming for your love okay

Speaker 29 Shy ain't away

Speaker 29 Oh I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 32 Needless to say,

Speaker 32 I've upset it.

Speaker 32 But I'll be stumbling away.

Speaker 32 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 32 Say up to me,

Speaker 137 it's so better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 32 Say up to me,

Speaker 137 it's so better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 137 Things like you say

Speaker 137 to play my memories away.

Speaker 137 You are the things I've got to remember. Be a shy and away.

Speaker 137 Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 137 Be a shy and away.

Speaker 137 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 137 Drink on me.

Speaker 137 Drink me.

Speaker 137 Drink on me.

Speaker 137 I'll I'll be

Speaker 137 gone.

Speaker 137 Dave

Speaker 137 of me. Dave.

Speaker 137 Take off me. I'll

Speaker 137 be

Speaker 137 gone.

Speaker 137 Take only

Speaker 137 me

Speaker 137 I

Speaker 137 can

Speaker 137 make you