NFL Draft And The Whole Podcast Has New QB's, NBA/NHL Playoffs + Comedian Dan Soder In Studio

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Today is Pardon My Take, the 2024 NFL Draft. We're going to talk about a wild first round, our new quarterbacks, the Michael Penix to Falcons decision.
We also have some NBA and and nhl playoffs to get to had some big big games on wednesday and thursday we have an awesome interview with dan soder incredible interview he came into the studio very very funny guy talked some sports with him and then we will finish with firefest and the lottery ball the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices. Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time.
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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence and a lot of work to be done.
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The crown is yours. Today is Friday, April 26th and you're listening to a podcast full of winners.

I'm going winner now. We are winners.
Everything about me is different right now. The old me, the loser me, off a cliff with that guy.
This new guy, this new guy doesn't take shit. He has a winning mentality.
Yes. I was saying earlier, if I'm at a restaurant and the waiter brings out the wrong dish, guess what? I'm going me sir i didn't order this can i have the dish that i ordered yes no more just accepting stuff no more waving people in in traffic we have quarterbacks we have quarterbacks it's rare to have a moment in time that you can point to and be like bam that's where my whole life changed that's where everything changed for the better and pft different guys we are different guys we are winners now the only question i have is there's three of us sitting in this room caleb williams to the bears jaden daniels to the commanders drake made of the patriots you and i are very excited super excited will you join us hank and being winners because you are not as excited.
It's a long way to go. To win a Super Bowl, you've got to be more than just a QB.
You've got to be a complete team. The Patriots, despite getting a great quarterback, are still four and a half is their over-under win total.
Is he a great quarterback? Do you think he is a great quarterback? Because you did your list of quarterbacks last week. He's a top five quarterback on my list.
I like Drake May. I don't know why you're so down on him.
I'm not down on him. I just, you know.
You're down on him. Yeah, you are.
You're down on him. The people that I listen to for my Patriots sourcing and knowledge, Julian Edelman, recurring guest of the show, one of the smartest dudes on earth.
That's a fact. Yeah.
And Bill Belichick. Both didn't have the highest praise or seemed to give me a lot of excitement for Drake May.
Yeah. I get that.
I understand that. But you got to be excited.
I know you're still too new at being a loser to understand what you just did tonight. I haven't accepted being a loser.
You're a loser. I know.
But like, I don't... You guys...
I don't want to... You guys sound like getting excited for this excited for draft night is loser.
Yeah, yes. Yes.
Welcome, buddy. Yep.
I'm not that excited. But you know what? I can't do it.
Hey, go back, watch Drake May highlights tonight. I'm going to spend all night, all day tomorrow, all weekend.
He's throwing a yoga ball. See, he's so negative.

All weekend. I like Drake May.

I like Drake May. I like Drake May.
I'm going to be

watching Jaden Daniels all weekend long.

I'm going to be watching him all summer long.

I'm going to be zooming in on his elbow, and I'm

going to be like, look how cool that elbow looks. Nobody else

on planet Earth has an elbow like that.

That's awesome. I'm going to be so pumped.

I'm going to be watching all the games from last year, reliving the Heisman campaign k you have a heisman too i have a heisman has a heisman too so hank hank was very upset um he's shown me a couple very mean memes oh he's doing nasty work on twitter right now retweeting me saying i like drake may i do like drake may also it's called a smoke screen i I never said Drake May was bad. Memes are meant to be shared.
I laughed at a meme. It was a picture of the 2003 NBA draft with LeBron, Darko, and then Carmelo Anthony.
Oh, no. Hey.
Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels, Drake May. I laughed, and PFT was sitting next to me, and I was like, oh, look, PFT.
Remind me, who won the NBA championship the very next season? The Pistons. Interesting.
So Jacoby Brissett might be taking the Patriots to the promised land? No, no. Darko was me.
Oh, you were Darko. I was Darko.
Oh. It was 1-2-3.
Hank was Carmelo. So you're in on Drake May then? Yeah.
No, it's just a funny meme. I'm in on Drake May.
I just, again. Yeah, he's being's being nasty yeah he's been nasty all night yeah listen he's trying to drag us down with him you can't do that i mean let's be honest i think you can look at the draft right now if you're reading the grades which we definitely are read all the grades i just actually that's a lie i typed in the search function on twitter commanders a and then i read all those.
So those are the graph trades that I read. I read all of them.
But the Bears, their offense is going to be completely different next year. Oh, man.
Getting wrong paper. You know what this is? This is the ultimate test of how much the uniforms truly matter.
Because on paper, it looks like they should be explosive. Nothing like any Bears offense that we've seen in probably ever.
Ever. Dude, DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, Roma Dunze, Cole Komet, DeAndre Swift.
It's insane. I don't even know.
It's going to be the most foreign experience of my life watching the Bears being like, they have dudes everywhere that can beat you. I can roman dunes i mean i i guess people were saying he was gonna fall to nine but still when it happened i was just like it broke holy fuck this is incredible and i i'll say it a million i mean ryan poles what he did to the panthers i actually feel bad for the panthers like it's it's it's it's gross because they uh posted now that it's like well it's actually not actually official because we we still have a pick in next year's draft from the Panthers yeah uh second rounder but DJ Moore Darnell Wright uh Tariq Stevenson Caleb Williams and a 2025 second rounder and they got Bryce Young yep Ryan Poles and now Roma do David Tepper and I love the fact that Ryan Poles is like, listen, we know what the history is.
We know what's happened with the Bears in the past. Basically every quarterback that's ever put on a Bears uniform has been not put in a good situation to succeed.
He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds, and that's getting Roma Doomsday, getting Keenan Allen a veteran receiver. I mean, I'm like I was elated all day.
I was just happy all day, ear to ear. And then I see Hank just dragging me down.
No, I'm excited. I'm excited for Drake, man.
I'm excited for Chicago. I always say it.
I want to live in a city where teams are good. The city's excited.
I'm excited for, you know, the Bears and the city. You were pumped the other day when you were talking about Drake, man, because you gave him the most beautiful nickname I've ever heard for a quarterback, the Mayflower.
The Mayflower. We were doing some t-shirt brainstorming.
We will have to figure out. It might have to be a number that we have to get on Spotify subscribers to release one of the t-shirts that we had mocked up.
It's worse than the Harambe shirt. 10 million times worse than the harambe it's worse than than harambe lying dead with bloody bullet holes and sean mcfay standing next to him no nick trigg is the artist he does all the cover art he's the bossing guy he was the best he he i've never felt more betrayed uh than what he did to me it's a wonderful design design.
Maybe just everyone go hit the subscribe on Spotify

because they do have those numbers now.

So just keep boosting this up.

And if we get to a certain point,

we might have to release this shirt.

We might have to put it on sale.

Let's just say it's Drake May, Hank, and a lighthouse.

That's all we'll say.

Yes, it is.

You can figure out what it might look like.

It's such a bad shirt for Hank

that we might have to just do a charity with a shirt where

it's like all the proceeds go to Hank for his therapy bills.

Hank, I got-

What a draft.

What a draft.

I'm happy.

I'm happy.

I'm excited.

We should all be happy.

Yeah.

Optimism.

This is the best part of the football season.

Hope.

Hope.

Right after Drake May got drafted, I was about to text our good friend Chris Berman and give

him a boomer, but I want to give it to good friend Chris Berman and give him a boomer.

But I want to give it to you instead, Hank.

And you can use this one.

Just say it back to us.

We'll forget.

Do you want option one or option two?

Two.

Okay.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

No.

No.

I was going to say, Drake May up.

I can't Drake up.

Okay.

Or one. Let's hear one.
Or Drake may up. I can't Drake up.
Okay. Or one.

Let's hear one.

Or Drake may up before you go, go.

Okay.

It's not bad.

Yeah.

Okay.

We've had better.

Drake may up when September ends.

Drake may up when September ends.

That works.

Okay.

That was the best one.

Drake may up when September ends.

Okay.

That's one.

Definitely a boomer.

Drake may I kill myself because I don't believe in my quarterback, Henry Lockwood. I believe in him.
I believe in him. Yeah, sure.
It's the organization as a whole that it's going to be at different times. We're in a different era.
I just got to get used to it. I'm not there yet.
You can't take what Belichick said after. Yes, he was probably giving his honest opinion, but you have to believe there's a little bit.
Edelman's was way worse. Edelman's was way worse.
Way, way, way worse. I'll read it.
I'm so excited. Because I agree with Belichick.
It was like if everything's perfect around this guy. If you build the right ecosystem around this kid, he's got a chance.
Lots of room to grow as a think he's still he's still attached to belichick if he has a perfect line and great receivers he's got a chance and he's terrible now but he's got room to be okay listen the good not exactly a ringing endorsement the good news is there were so many quarterbacks taken at the top of the first round that there's a lot of potential busts out there. You just have to not be in last place in that group.
You just have to beat Michael Penis. You have to beat J.J.
McCarthy. And you have to beat Bo Nix.
Yeah. Can you do that? Yeah.
You could do that. Yeah.
So we should talk about the rest of the draft. I mean, PFT, I'm just so excited.

I'd like to say I give the Bears an A+. I give the Commanders an A+.
Wow. Hank, what do you give the Patriots? A+.
Oh, man. Excitement.
It was a crazy draft, though, because we saw a couple things we'd never seen before. The first 14 picks were offense, so you didn't get a defensive player until number 15 you also had uh six court five quarterbacks in the first 12 picks which has never been done it was insane so it really started I feel like the draft went pretty much true to form uh the first you know four picks were were scripted essentially Marvin Harrison Jr.
I love that there was even an idea that they weren't going to take him. There was, you know, people were trying to say, oh, Marvin Harrison Jr., Malik Nabors is actually better.
Marvin Harrison Jr. has been the best wide receiver in this class since he was like 12 years old.
Yeah, Malik Nabors is awesome. Awesome.
He's really, really good. In fact, I was thinking about just coming out with a take that Malik Nabors and, and who's the other wide receiver from lsu drafted top 10 um brian thomas brian thomas not top 10 not but close to yeah close to it uh that they were only good in college because of jayden daniels but i couldn't even bring myself to to type that out yeah but it might be something i go back to yeah why not why not you try it on and then we had uh joe alt at five to the char were saying, oh, the Chargers need a wide receiver because they've traded Keenan Allen, cut Mike Williams.
Justin Herbert has no one to throw to. Well, Jim Harbaugh had the quote of the night when he said, I know the question is going to come up about weapons.
We look at offensive linemen as weapons. Yep, yep.
He likes big bodies. He likes big dudes to wrestle with he likes physical people shout out joe alt in that that picture of him in his living room he's just massive joe alt looks like the world's biggest eight-year-old yeah just massive a perfect offensive lineman yeah i'm sure that that harbaugh will be creative with how he uses him yeah so then we had malik neighbors go to uh the giants uh which Jones is throwing to him.
Yep. Okay.
JC Latham going to the Titans. They're beefing up their offensive line back-to-back years because they got Skronsky last year.
I think that was a pick made by – maybe the first pick ever made by a head coach's dad. Yeah, true.
Where Callahan was like, give me this guy. Yeah, I want this guy.
And then everything went crazy because the Atlanta Falcons, who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to a $180 million deal, what, like a month and a half ago, selected Michael Penix Jr. with the eighth pick.
And we had their GM look alive, looking like he was trying to explain to Arthur Blank what exactly was happening. Yeah.
Crazy. It makes, even if you wanted to get, like, even if you're the Falcons, you're like, you know what, let's do the Packers type of situation where we draft a guy behind a guy, and we're like, we're going to let him sit for a couple years michael pennix jr is the old is old and jj mccarthy is young yeah and you and if you sit him for two years he's gonna he's gonna be brandon weeden and then quarterback rookie deals first round deals are four years there's a fifth year option on there kurt cousins his deal is currently four years yeah so it there's a here's the thing about that move is that there's about eight reasons why it doesn't make sense yeah it makes it makes zero sense to do it now if he's a great quarterback cool i hope it pans out but like when is he going to start is he going to sit for two years i and then he's going to play why why use such a high pick for this it you could have probably gotten him in the second round it was so so baffling for them to do that.
Well, they had an all-time spin zone. So our friend Diana Rossini contacted the Falcons, and their spin zone was Kirk Cousins is such a good quarterback that they're not going to be in a position to draft a good quarterback over the next four years.
That's smart. So since he's – Kirk Cousins is almost too good at playing quarterback because he's so good that he's going to ruin your team forever.
So you had to get your QB2 now. That's exactly what happened with Hank's Patriots, where Tom Brady was so good at playing quarterback that they weren't able to ever draft good quarterbacks.
Yeah. And they did draft quarterbacks.
They didn't draft him with the eighth pick. They didn't draft him with the eighth pick.
What was Mac Jones? It's very funny. Mac Jones.
No, well, that was after Tom Brady, though. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I'm saying the Patriots did draft Jimmy Garoppolo as an heir apparent, but it wasn't with the eighth pick.
Right, right. And, yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
Even Jordan Love, he was in the 20s. He was in the 20s and also Aaron Rodgers.
He was trying to break up. He he had just he well he did probably just signed a contract extension because he would just break up and then sign a contract either way it makes no sense it's crazy kirk cousins was blindsided the report came out that uh the falcons called him two minutes before the pick i actually feel bad for kirk cousins not so so bad because he still gets 180 million dollars or whatever it's going to be guaranteed.
Because if Michael Penix turns out to be good in practice and all these things and wows him, I would imagine he's going to start either next year or two years from now or three years. Like, they'll cut Kirk Cousins.
It's over $100 million guaranteed. Right.
The full contract is $180 million. So I don't feel bad for him because he's still got that money, but that does suck to sign with somewhere and then have them draft someone with the eighth pick, and I just don't understand what the Falcons are thinking.
They have gone the last four years. They went Drake London.
They went Kyle Pitts. They went Bijan, and they went a backup quarterback with all in the top ten.
That's crazy. It's weird.
It's nuts. and and every falcons fan out there was like what the fuck are we doing right now this makes it makes no sense to do but if he ends up being a good quarterback then no one's going to care and they'll be like great job by the falcons i still think you could have probably traded down probably could have traded down a lot for him probably probably could have waited a little bit but it was a crazy run on quarterbacks because then we had i think it was i think it got started though because of the falcons yeah i don't i don't yeah i don't know that he would have been off the board if you had traded back into like the mid-teens i agree 20s i agree and then you know roma dunze to the bears which i couldn't be more excited about they're already like best friends which is awesome uh and and jj mccarthy then goes to vikings traded like 10 times, it felt like.
Yeah. J.J.
McCarthy goes to the Vikings. It seemed like they were eyeing him for a while.
They only had to trade up one spot in that trade. Then they traded up again with the Jaguars later on in the draft.
And then you had Fashanu and then Bo Nix, which I think Bo Nix is also one where I'm scratching my head being like, why would the Broncos take him at 12? Maybe they were worried that the Raiders were going to get him, but also since it's Bo Nix, maybe you kind of want the Raiders to have him. Well, here's a good sign of is a team maybe reaching on their draft pick.
Diana Rossini did some good reporting about the spin zone for the Falcons. Adam Schefter went into full, full spin zone for the Broncos.
He fired off some tweets. I'm going to read them to you, but it was essentially like, hey, Adam, we're going to get killed for taking Bo Nix at 12.
Can you do us a solid, please? He started it with, Sean Payton wanted and intended to draft Patrick Mahomes in the 2017 draft. When he held the 11th overall pick, he was ready to turn in the card.
But before he could, the Chiefs traded up to the Bills spot at No. 10, took Mahomes one spot before Payton got him, leaving the Saints to draft Ohio State cornerback Marshawn Lattimore.
Payton feels as strongly about Bo Nix as he did Patrick Mahomes. It's wild that so many teams were going to draft Patrick Mahomes.
There's like six different head coaches that are saying, you know, I had his name written down on the card. We're ready to go with Mahomes.
But apparently Sean Payton was actually going to do it, and Schefter made sure to include that little nugget in there. He felt as strongly about Bo Nix as he did Patrick Mahomes.
And then we had this one. So that was just the first one to set it up like, hey, listen, guys,

Bo Nix and Patrick Mahomes are actually in the same sentence here.

The next one was Broncos center Alex Forsyth,

who played with Nix at Oregon before Denver,

drafted him in the seventh round last year,

raved to Denver's coaches about his former college quarterback.

Forsyth told the Broncos coaches that Nix is smart,

knows every protection, handles it all at the line of scrimmage, and had the universal respect of the entire team. So Sean Payton taking draft strategy from his center.
Did you hear about the fact that they brought Bo Nix in for a workout? They gave him some plays. Oh, this is the last tweet.
This is Schefter. He literally just spent like 1,000 characters on the Broncos.
This one might be my favorite one. Yeah, so he said Denver held a private workout with Bo Nix the day after his pro day.
The night before the workout, the Broncos sent Nix three packets of offensive play installation, and the next morning as they worked in the classroom with Nix, he crushed it per a Broncos source. This is all just coming from Sean Payton.
The Broncos then took Knicks from the classroom to the field, watched them throw for an hour,

and were convinced they had a quarterback they wanted.

So what happened was they gave him all the information,

and then he stayed up all night being like,

all I have to do is make one team fall in love with me.

Correct.

And then he just memorized that, came in,

and they're like, wow, I can't believe that this guy is able to absorb all this stuff.

The best cram session ever.

If you need that many tweets and that many words to say, we took a quarterback at 12 that seems like a big reach bonix is i know the lines don't really matter bonix's over under was 32 and a half to be drafted like it was a it was a real conversation would he dip into the second round they took him 12 yeah shefter was laying on pretty thick there i wonder if that was a favor called in by Sean Payton or not or if that's just Schefter trying to get some scoops in the future but that's that's pretty far for even Adam to go yeah in terms of running PR for somebody and Bo Nix earlier I think it was earlier this season we were talking about him and we said some team some team's going to fall in love with him and they're going to take him in like the first or second round and they're just not going to be teams that watched him play that much throughout college obviously he had a good year this year a really good year but um it's just teams got desperate maybe teams are thinking ahead to next season too maybe they're looking at the at the quarterback class next year and they're like well we might as well get one this year i don't know it was just weird it felt like a reach uh it just felt like teams are a quarterback. I mean, it happens every year.
I've watched my team do it where it's like, you need a quarterback. We've got to take a quarterback.
Let's get a quarterback right now. Yeah.
And it does make you feel excited. Oh, of course.
Well, I don't know. I have one of my good friends.
Oh, yeah, Hank, you feel excited. He's a Broncos fan, and he's not excited.
Not happy about this? I would say not excited. The side-by-side pictures of Zach Wilson and Bo Nix are also very funny.
Sean Payton has a type. Yes.
He's got a type. He does.
And then, which was crazy, so because of the flurry of quarterbacks, Brock Bowers, who is an incredible tight end and should have probably been a top 10 pick, goes 13 to the Raiders. Brock Bowers is going to have a great career.
Brock Bowers has to figure out something with that hair. Got to figure out something with the hair.
Also, he pulled a max. Did you see that? No.
Yeah, when he got drafted, the camera's in the living room. He had a dog right in front of him.
Wouldn't pet his dog. Oh, no.
I dinged him a little bit for that. I also, if we're talking about draft room or living rooms, Olu Fashanu's girlfriend getting boxed out was so funny.
Yeah, reaching over she got reached over mom i mom was just she she it was textbook just getting the leverage on on the girlfriend being like you're not getting any of this right now yeah you got to have rules for the girlfriend there's always one or two that that end up going viral because they're trying to be too involved in the family or sometimes there's a screenshot lives on, Russell Wilson, you got to have rules for a girlfriend, a college girlfriend. Unless there's a ring on it, you need to have at least two people in between you and that person.
Family members, close family members. Yeah.
I mean, those living rooms are always so funny. I always just respect, like there's always one guy in the back who just knows his role perfectly, just whooping it up, usually gets the hat on faster than anyone else.
Yeah. And he's not trying to get close.
He's not trying to do a hug. He's just there knowing exactly.
He's like, look, I'm number 14 on the depth chart. He's a hype man.
I'm good. Yeah.
I'm good to be in the room. We're a clock around your neck.
Yeah. All right.
And then what else in the first round do we think was remarkable? Congrats on Quinian Mitchell, Max. You were very excited about him.
A-plus great in my book. Toledo.
Toledo, best corner in the draft. I've only heard great things.
I have great tape watching Max shit about him. He's a great guy.
I mean, Nick Saban said it best. He's like, I wanted to get that guy out of the transfer portal, but we couldn't get him to go into the transfer portal to get out of the transfer portal.
Doesn't sound like tampering to me. Pretty much saying, like, we told him to come to Alabama.
Like, we would take him. And he was like, no, I want to be a Mac guy.
Respect. Yeah.
I mean, I feel like it's good value, right? That's what you were saying earlier. I mean, that's what everyone was saying.
You had him very, very high on your board. Yeah.
Most people did. I think most people thought he was the best corner in the draft.
And the report was the Eagles were going to trade up to 12 with the Broncos because the Broncos thought that they could have got Bo Nix at the Eagles spot. But we didn't even have to.
They took Bo Nix there. We took Quidney Mitchell at our spot.
And everyone got what what they wanted first time taking the corner in the draft since 2002 in the first round for the eagles is that right sure that makes sense to me so how he must have liked him yeah no definitely how he's cooking the position of need the other head scratching move in the first round came at the very end with the chiefs trading with the bills the bills traded their pick to the Chiefs, who moved up, and everyone knew what was going to happen. Everyone knew.
We knew weeks in advance something, some bullshittery like this was going to happen. The Chiefs move up.
In my opinion, that's worse than trading inside the division, is the Bills trading with the Chiefs. It's way worse.
They're they're the ones after you get out of your division that are stopping you from getting the super bowl they need a receiver they got not only a receiver they got the fastest receiver in the history of the nfl combine yeah yeah so savior worthy is i mean with him him with mahomes why'd you let them do that congratulations to the chiefs on winning next year. Yeah, they won another Super Bowl.
They did. They did, yeah.
And it's okay to say that. It's okay to admit it.
They just won another Super Bowl. And he's probably going to be like – he's probably going to go for 120 and a touchdown in the Super Bowl.
Is he worthy? Yeah. I'm thinking maybe like a 60-yard bomb.
Second half. Yeah.
60-yard bomb. Yeah.
They're down by three. Yeah by three yeah down by three at half yeah down by three at half and uh four minutes left in the third quarter 64 yard touchdown pass yeah what was the reason for this draft anyway with a flag and the flag doesn't matter yeah no it's gonna be the chiefs again this was such a crazy crazy thing to happen that everybody to happen.
Yeah. But it still did.
And credit to the Chiefs. I mean, what else can you say? Like, they're able to...
They worked the Tyreek Hill situation out pretty well. Yeah.
I'd say. You had the best receiver in the NFL, arguably, in Tyreek Hill.
Instead of paying him, you let him walk, and you're like, we'll find somebody else. Yeah, you found a faster version of Tyreek Hill.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
Also, I thought the Lions picked because they traded up to get Terian Arnold, and it's just very cool to have a guy drafted in front of the entire city he's going to play in, and they were hyped for that. They're very hyped for it.
It was a good first round. I mean, I loved this first round.
This is the first round I'm hoping that I can look back on and be like,

I'll be watching a 30 for 30 in 40 years and be like,

remember that draft night?

That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, I really haven't been this excited about a quarterback

since RG3's rookie year.

In the next three years, will all five teams,

including the Eagles and Jets, make the playoffs, Have made the playoffs? No. Next three years? How many out of five? Four out of five.
I don't know which four. I'm leaning the Jets not making.
I think the Bears will. The Bears are going to make the playoffs this year.
I don't know if the Patriots will. Don't quote me on that.
Yeah, I don't know why you're saying Patriots over Jets. I'm trying to boost up Hank because he's so...
He's such a... I've had...
Hank himself would say... Yeah, I've had one of the best days of my life.
I'm going based off... And Hank is just...
He's just looking at him just trying to drag me down. Yeah, he's doing nasty work.
This is gaslighting. He's doing nasty work.
No, i think he's being self-aware about the he is but he walked in when drake may got drafted he walked in he just had a frown and i was just like what's up like aren't you excited he's like whatever based on his analysis of drake may that's what i'm going off of i'm trying to gas up hank the draft nick i'm not used to being a loser in these situations i'm not a draft person i'm i trust the process. I trust the crafts.
If it were me, if I was a GM, I'm taking the best player at a position, not the third best player at a position. Would you rather have JJ? No, you wanted Marvin Harrison.
Yeah. No, but would you rather have JJ than Drake? If they traded down and took JJ, I'd be cool with that.
Yeah. That's kind of the same thing to me.
Drake could be good. Yeah.
He's got a fucking big arm. He can make all the throws.
He can make all the throws. He also, let me boost you up a little here, Hank.
He was playing on a very bad team this past year. Like, very, very bad.
I don't want to sound like a Drake May hater. I'm not.
I just. You're just not excited.
I'm not optimistic about this. Where I'm like counting.
I'm counting Super Bowls. The Bears are going to get the stadium, get a Super Bowl, and play in it.
Oh, I like that. What will that be? Because the stadium won't be until 2030, so it'll be what? 2030? Yeah, I think so.
It takes a while to build a stadium. It'll be like third or fourth Super Bowl for Caleb Williams.
Swan Song. What? He's retiring in 2030? Well, they're going to get the first year at the stadium.
Oh, yeah. True, true, true.
All right. So like 30.
2034. 2031.
I would like him to play longer than that. I'm hoping this is a 15, 20-year marriage that I just entered into.
I'm hoping my entire life changes. I'm hoping literally like I look at this point i'm like dude remember that day everything after that day was incredible can you imagine we're gonna be you could be 55 and caleb might be retiring listen i'm i'm like the mike i'm hoping that it's just like my kids are like this is you know caleb williams just they grew up with c grew up with Caleb Williams in our household.
And it's just Caleb Williams all the time. And Roma Dunse.
And Keenan Allen. Well, he's going to be older.
And DJ Moore. And Cole Komet.
I'm super excited. I'm so excited, TFT.
We got RG4. Also, another thing that Schefter did.
Another thing Schefter did. He tweeted out a link to buy Jaden Daniels' jersey, like a direct link to the store.
Does he get paid to do that? Yeah, he probably gets a little some. Are the commanders paying Adam Schefter to promote their team's merch? That's a weird dynamic for a reporter to have, but it worked.
I clicked on it. I ordered Jaden Daniels' jersey right off the bat.
I don't know what's going to happen. So the bad news is, good news, bad news, Trestway's going to have to change his number from number five.
What numbers are QE's going to be? Mine's going to be number five. Trestway, my Trestway number five jersey will have to be retired.
I'll have to get a new one, but that's fine. That's a price I'll pay as a fan for that, but he's going to be number five just like he was in college.
Yeah, Caleb Williams is going be kyle orton's jersey number 18 because keenan allen is 13 he said actually on the red carpet he was like keenan allen's been in the league for a very long time respect that's a great teammate move um he was 13 his entire college career just remember that number kill is 18 he's 18 now remember 13 that number for some random reason at the end of the show. Mm-hmm.
We taped Firefest in the afternoon at 2 o'clock, just so we're clear. Hank trying to bring me down yet again.
Oh, no. Yeah, he is.
We're talking QBs. It will all come together at the end, folks.
They'll all understand it. Big Cat, did you take your nail polish off? There were press-ons okay it was so hard to type i don't know i don't know how women do it no there's a lot of stuff they do what was that girl's name we had to shout out mcculky mcculky uh mccay mcculky mcculky mcc uh fuck it was a unique name maliki she came up to us in detroit she's like you you guys can you guys talk more like every now and then some more girl stuff and we're like yes we will and next time we do we'll shout out your name and it's been 24 hours we forgot her name milky yes milky so anyway milky i don't know how you guys wear nails like that it is so hard all my respect to to shout out all the women out there who have the nails because I couldn't do anything.
Yeah. I was trying to eat.
I was trying to wipe my ass. I was trying to type.
I couldn't do anything. It's because women use a lot of cocaine so they have the long nails for that.
That is exactly what it is. But yeah, shout out McColkey.
That's why they're so skinny. So hopefully she's doing the Leo meme in the car right now.
She's like, what the fuck? Yeah, she's... This guy's butchered my name so bad.
It's Leo except with extended nails. Yeah.
And it's like, but that's not actually my name? Yeah. All right, any other draft stuff? Oh, memes.
How are you feeling? Jets. Feeling good.
We got a big boy. And as Max said, he's the best lineman in the draft.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. According to whose grades? Max.
Okay, nice. That's the thing, though.
That's the beauty. All you got to do is find one grade.
Find one person who liked him more than everyone else. Yep.
And you're like, boom. Just search for New York Jets A grade, and then you'll be happy all night.
You'll get to read all that stuff. He's a massive human.
He is big. He just adds to the offensive line.
And you know what? Even if you're not happy with your draft, anybody out there that might be questioning who they took, who they could have taken, at least you're not the Falcons. Yeah.
And if you are a Falcons fan, I apologize because you are very much the Falcons. You're the Falcons.
This might have been – I would actually say this is the most Falcons move of all time. It really is.
In a long history of being the Falcons, this is the tops. And how do you think it feels right now to be Arthur Blank and just thinking like, man, I wish I hadn't picked up that phone call from Robert Kraft.
Yeah. Like if I had hired Bill Belichick, there's 0% chance he would have taken Michael Penix for the eighth pick.
So the Falcons, let me get this straight. They have an old injury-prone quarterback, which makes total sense that they would pair him with a guy like Kirk Cousins.
Yes, exactly. Got it.
Got it. Exactly.
Also, there were some funny memes going around. I saw one.
It was a dog just pissing all over uh the kitchen and it was like the falcons drafting a left-handed quarterback named michael all the dogs in atlanta right now that's not that that was a funny meme i don't was we have no evidence that michael penix beats dogs and fights them recreation does not i have not heard right now does not on all the red flags all the all the weaknesses that i've seen on the pre-draft scouting reports i didn't see that michael pennix has electrocuted a pit bull and this does this does suck for michael pennix like i i know that it's great because the money and he's the eighth pick but you get when you become the the falcons are the laughing stock of round one and he gets lumped into it i say this all the time guys don't get to decide where they're drafted. They don't get to decide which team picks them.
Yeah. It's like I'm rooting for Michael Penix.
I want him to do well because it would be great if he was great and the Falcons would be like, see, we did the right thing, even though they didn't because they could have traded down and got him later, but we did the right thing. We got our guy.
Yeah, it is funny, though, seeing everybody so concerned about Kirk Cousins. Like, I hope Kirk's doing okay.
Oh, the NFL Network. Our guy DJ and Rapport were essentially like Kirk Cousins' life just shattered.
This is tragic for Kirk Cousins. I think Kirk's going to be okay.
I think he's going to be fine. Maybe they tried to call his agent.
Maybe diamond-encrusted cell phones get bad reception because his agent is rich as fuck and probably doesn't need to pick up the phone anymore he's going to be 36 in august kirk cousins yeah he signed a four-year deal i it sucks that you were maybe not lied to but told that you were you know they weren't going to draft someone in the first round a quarterback but that also is the nfl i'm looking forward to seeing the post-mortem on how this all happened because you would think that in in the free agent process when they're talking to kirk they wouldn't have been like so all in on them if they knew all along that their plan was to draft a quarterback with their top 10 pick right i think it's probably going to end up being something like you know we didn't we didn't see this coming but we just kind of fell in love. We don't know how Michael Penix fell all the way to eight.
Yeah. I think they're just going to say, we truly fell in love with this person.
Honestly, if I were the Atlanta Falcons PR team, I would just come out with the most ridiculous story and just be like, believe it or don't. No one would believe it.
But we got confused. We thought we were picking 18.
Yeah. Even still.
Even if this was the 18th pick and they had taken pennocks that would be a wild move it was crazy it was a crazy draft first round rg3 is probably pretty psyched to see kirk cousins having a backup drafted on draft night yeah in front of his face yeah that's true yeah he's he's seen it i was i was saying he might call mike glennon mike glennon famously left the bears draft party when they drafted uh trubisky yeah he was now mike glenn's a little different than kirk cousins in the fact that if an organization says mike glennon you're our starter mike glennon should be like what's the catch kirk cousins actually is a really good player the funny thing is like kirk is probably the best equipped starting quarterback to handle something like this Yeah Yeah. Like, he's probably, he's going to say very nice things, and he's going to say, I'm looking forward to working with this guy.
The more good talent you can have in the quarterback room. He's going to say all the right things.
He might even mean all the right things. But there's some deep, deep down inside part of him that's going to be like, well, this fucking sucks.
Yeah. It's kind of similar.

I mean, Jalen Hurts was a second-round pick,

but it was the same thing that Philly went through.

Yeah, it happens.

This is what happens in the NFL.

Yeah.

It sucks.

We paid Carson Wentz a shit ton of money,

got a backup quarterback, spent a lot of draft capital on him.

I think Kirk Cousins is better than Carson Wentz.

I would agree.

I mean, even Russ going to Pittsburgh, team-friendly deal, quote-unquote. But then Justin Fields gets traded there.
You know, a month later, he's going to... That is going to be an option for them pretty quickly.
Is there any chance that... Zach Wilson.
Any chance that... Zach Wilson gets traded.
Could we hear the, it's truly going to be an open competition line? No. I doubt it.
I feel like that... There's no way they can do that.
They have tell kirk that it's his job yeah they have to they have to but it's a first round pick it's a top 10 pick yeah at some point in the next couple years you're going to want to see what you have there right and it also now kirk cousins has to deal with the fact that like if he gets injured or misses a game that could be it yeah every time every single time and michael pennix isn't getting younger yeah no he's not none of us are uh all right let's talk some NBA and NHL uh before we do that Pepsi you see it in the front here Pepsi we love Pepsi everything is better with Pepsi we were in Detroit on Wednesday with pardon my cheesesteak food truck we had Pepsi infused pardon my cheesesteaks thank you to everyone who came out it was awesome to see all the people uh Detroit rocks and we We ate some cheesesteaks. We had Pepsi infused part of my cheesesteaks.
Thank you to everyone who came out. It was awesome to see all the people, uh, Detroit rocks and we eat some cheesesteaks.
We had some Pepsi and everything is better with Pepsi. If you're thinking about your favorite meal, maybe a cheesesteak, maybe a slice of pizza, maybe some Buffalo wings.
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That's a fact.

That is a fact.

Okay.

Celtics Heat 1-1.

Oh, I thought that they weren't going to lose any games this round yeah I gotta I gotta uh we were we were maybe looking ahead to the Nuggets trying to find a way to stop the Nuggets after the game one of the Bruins and the Celtics I made a mistake and I'm here to admit and moving forward say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky.
What? Wait, Max. It's the playoffs.
Max just walked out. He had to take a shit.
Yeah, Hank's happy weekend. I think it set you back, actually.
Yeah, I got way too ahead of myself. It's an absolute grind to make it just to make it to the finals, just to make it to the next round of the playoffs, it's a grind.
You've got to earn every win. I was way too cocky.
So are we stopping thinking about how to stop the Nuggets? I – no, but – Oh, you're not? Hank has an advanced scouts department. I'm watching all the Western Conference games, and I'm zeroing in on the Nuggets.
They're a problem, too. The Nuggets are a serious, serious, serious, serious problem.
It's almost like they won last year. Championship or bust is no longer.
It's just win this series. It's win this series, and then let's win the next series.
Let's win the next series. I'm not focused on the Nuggets.
I'm not focused on the Western Conference. I'm just focused on Saturday against the Heat.
You can't change championship or bust. That's a bust.
It's series or bust, and then it's series or bust, and then it's series or bust. Every series is a series or bust.
But championship or bust was said many times leading into these playoffs. And that was old me, and now that was cocky me.
Okay, that's alright, so guys can change. And I'm no longer cocky.
What do we think about the Celtics just not guarding anyone shooting three-pointers? Yeah, it was a weird defensive strategy. I mean, the Heat were obviously, they blacked out.
They hit the most threes in franchise history. But they do that.
That was the most threes they've ever hit. They don't do that every game.
They're not going to do that every game. But last year, the same thing happened in that series.
We we were like they're not going to shoot this well again and then they shot that well again by the way max you missed it you you missed it hank hank is hank is retired cocky hank i i don't believe that he's retired hockey cocky hank forever no that's that's who he is as a person no he claims that he's been momentarily humbled by the heat momentary by heat culture and so he's he's going back max listen to this as much shit why are we maybe don't fucking miss the podcast maybe pay attention and do your job you wouldn't miss it we're not doing like this isn't a show catered to max you should have been here the first time in six hours last week hank i was thing. Here's the thing, Hank.
No, wait, but Max, I wanted to just inform you of another. He's going to listen to it in 20 minutes.
Then Hank was young. Okay, fine.
Yeah, listen to it later, and then tell me what you think of what Hank's saying about this entire turning of a new leaf, because you've been a guy, Max, that we've said, is this a must-win game? And we've jumped down your throat when you say that it isn't, and then you lose. With Hank, he's rescinding championship or bust.
You can't do that. He cannot do that.
We're not in the championship. We're in a series.
No, but you said championship or bust before the playoffs started. Multiple times.
When we get to the if, if, if we are lucky enough. Haki Hank came out for a second.
less enough to make it to the championship series. Multiple times.
When we get to the – if we are lucky enough. Taki Hank came out for a second.

Less enough to make it to the championship series, that series will also be a series or bust.

Okay.

But right now it's a series or bust, and then the next series, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, will be a series or bust.

I have a question for you, Hank.

Yes.

Okay.

No.

You did say just now the Heat can't shoot that well again correct uh I have a stat for you Miami has four playoff games in the past two seasons with 50% shooting from three all against Boston no other team has more than one against anyone so So when you say it can't happen again, it's literally just keeps happening. Yeah, maybe it is.
The Heat are a good team and we just got to come out and play good defense. Hopefully Coach Mizzoula is going to make some adjustments.
Porzingis played horrible. He played like dog shit.
Tatum didn't have the best second half. Defense got to pick it up.
But we have the tools necessary. Adjustments.
Game three is a must win. Game three, I am hoping that they blow them out.
Otherwise, I will be pulling, not pressing it, but I will, the panic button will appear. It's going to be so funny if they win the series, the Celtics.
We just can't. We can't be in a spot where we're fighting the heat.
Like, if we're, again, if I was cocky and I was thinking about the finals, like, you got to just get through the heat with no Rozier and no Butler. Like, it's just got to be a 3-1-4-0.
They can't keep shooting 50% from three. They can't.
They can't hit a franchise record for threes every game. It's not going to happen.
They've done it four times in the last. But only once this year.
Right, but last year if we went back. They had Jimmy Butler last year.
You would have been like the Jimmy Butler known three-point sniper. Yeah.
If you guys win four games to one, you're going to get back to cocky Hank. Nope.
So fast. Hank, what do you think about this side? I think you still should be cocky Hank.
Yeah. What do you think? It is kind of lame that Hank abandoned this at the very first sign of the year.
You lost one game. You're going to win this series 4-1.
You guys lost in a historic shooting performance by the Heat. Well, no.
The FT, hold on. It'll never happen again.
They set a franchise record, Big Cat. You're not understanding.
I was talking about a fucking franchise record, not the 50% of your little stat. But Hank, they keep shooting great from three against you.
Hank, I need you to stand up for yourself a little bit more, Hank. Stand up for yourself.
You spent six months saying it was championship or bust, and at the very first sign where you're slightly uncomfortable, you're like, oh, I have to reevaluate my whole line of thinking. Is that line of thinking what got you this far? No, it's just you realize it's all, you know, this is the regular season.
The postseason is the start of the season, and now we've got to focus. We've got to lock in.
You can't just, you know, you can't assume a putt's going in. You've got to see it through.
You've got to see the ball go through the hoop. You've got to just one game at a time, one series at a time, series or bust, series or bust, series or bust, equals championship.
What was the franchise record? The amount of threes they hit? Yeah, they had 24 threes. 23 threes? They did shoot really well.
But they shot really well. That's all I'm saying.
Four times, 50%. They made 23 threes.
And the Celtics shot 20 less threes than they did the first game. You got to shoot more threes.
They got out, you know, Spolster outcoached Missoula in game two. Yeah.
Heat culture. I don't know why you're worried.
Because it's the heat. It's PTSD.
Get back to cocky hang. I don't.
They don't have their two best players. But last year was the same thing.
Big Cat's right. Last year I said every single game.
I was like, that's not going to happen again. They're not going to shoot that well again.
That's not going to happen again. Then they were down 3-0, and then we lost.
Are you worried that you're 11-13 at home since the 2022 playoffs? Yeah, I didn't know that. That's bad.
It is a beautiful moment beautiful moment though because max is gassing hank up be like come on come on come on hank you guys are really good at this hank you know i don't know it's just this this is crazy it's it like the sixers had no problem with the heat you put one game i mean the celtics had no problem with them in one game that's's what I'm saying. I'm on your side here.
The Heat aren't good. They had one good game.
And the Celtics are the best team of all time. That's anything anyone's been saying.
Who? Everyone. Everyone in the NBA.
It's like this is the most deep NBA team of all time. Everyone's been saying championship or bust for these guys.
You lose one game to the Heat without fucking Jimmy Butler or Terry Rozier, and all of a sudden it's like we just got to take it one game. It's the fucking Heat.
You're going to win by 20 on Friday night. You're going to win this series in five.
Honestly, it's pissing me off. You're being a bitch.
Yeah, you know what this is? This is, again, Hank being a product of having such a winning childhood and youth, where it's like he can't separate his teams when one team does bad. Then he takes it out.
He goes home to the Patriots and takes it out on his family. I didn't know how this was going to go.
I did not expect this. No, I did not expect this.
This is the craziest turn of events. This is why you don't like Drake Mays.
Hank doesn't like like the Drake May pick because the Celtics lost last night. I sounded more cocky about the Sixers when we were down 0-2 to the Knicks.
I don't care about you, Max. It has nothing to do with you.
Get fucking up off the mat, Hank. I'm off the mat.
I'm focused on the next game. And then I'll be focused on the next game and the next game.
And then if we win those games, I'll be focused on next series and then that will be a series or bust. And statistically...
That's how you win championships. Just game at a time focused.
And statistically speaking they're only going to shoot 50% from three three more times in this series. And you're talking about focus and taking one game at a time.
We just have to shoot more threes. Hank what are you personally going to do differently? I'm not going to get ahead of myself.
I'm not going to worry about the Nuggets. I'm just going to.
What happens if you win by 40 on Saturday? Then we're going to have to win by 40 again on Monday. Oh, come on.
But, Hank, you already admitted that you're paying close attention to the Nuggets. Old me.
No, but you said that you did that tonight. Yeah, but that series is already over.
It doesn't matter. The Nuggets played tonight, the day after you lost that game.
when did you make this change it was last night it was last night i think it was bill belichick talking badly about yeah drake may is what made you turn into a loser no it was the heat it was it was i was having flat it was honestly it was jalen brown missed two free throws in the first quarter then Then Jason Tatum missed two free throws in the fourth quarter.

And I just got flashbacks to the Warriors series.

I got flashbacks to the Heat series from last year.

And I was like, fuck, this team has like free throws.

They're free throws.

You have to focus.

You know, you can't focus on being the best team in the world.

You just have to.

They're free for a reason.

Make your free throws.

Win the game.

Do what you're supposed to do.

Don't overcomplicate it. That's it.
Okay, so we mentioned Nuggets there. I mean, this is the funniest thing ever now.
It's just every single game. The Lakers came out and were up 10 after the first quarter, and the Nuggets won.
Doesn't matter. Jokic almost had a triple-double.
It doesn't matter. I think he had like 24, 15, and 9.
Yes. It's so funny.
And people are going to still be like, the Lakers are a really tough team. They just ran into, they played a really competitive sweep.
They had four guys with over 20 points. It's so fucking funny.
How many, I don't understand. Like, will anyone, anyone who picked the Lakers stand up and be like,

hey, maybe the Nuggets are really good?

Yeah, they're so good.

Aaron Gordon had 29 tonight.

He was all over the place.

So, yeah, that series.

You know what?

I kind of hope the Lakers win one game.

Just so we can be like, look, they're making progress.

In 10 years from now, they'll get to a game seven.

They even had a good game from the role player that we said they needed to step up was Austin Reeves. He had 22.
Well, D'Angelo Russell. D'Angelo Russell had zero points.
He didn't have a point. He looked like something was actually wrong with him because he missed his first two shots.
They were as close to an air ball as you could get. Yeah, they're bad.
He looked like he had Bell's palsy. Yeah.
Who? Joel Embiid. So we got to talk about the Knicks.
Actually, no, he looked like he definitely didn't have Bell's palsy because that might be a PED. Yeah, that's true.
So the Knicks, Sixers, Sixers win game three. Joel Embiid was incredible.
How many did he score? Did he score 50? 50. 50.
He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball court. We've watched Draymond Green.
Okay. Well, Joel Embiid basically did Draymond Green's like, you know.
Finishing move. Yeah, career highlights in one game.
He did. The play on Mitchell Robinson when he tried to grab him by the legs that was that should have been an ejection and then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts he kicked he kneed Isaiah Hardenstein in the nuts what was up with him? the Hardenstein one dude he elevated his knee into his nuts he was trying to get around him that one was a was a basketball play.
The other two were not. Okay.
I mean, look, you won the game. You don't have to apologize for winning a game.
You don't have to apologize for him scoring 50. If you were Adam Silver, what would you do? They're not going to do anything.
You don't think so? That was a really dirty play. The grabbing of the leg was pretty bad.
I don't know if you saw his explanation for it. It wasn't great.
His explanation. Who was it? He said that the way he was positioned was that he was going to take out Mitchell Robinson's leg and he was going to fall.
And that if he didn't push him away from his body, he was going to fall on it. Mitchell Robinson was going to fall on his knee.
He said he was trying to make sure that Robinson doesn't land on me because obviously we know the history that I have with Kaminga landing on my knee, so I kind of had flashbacks. When he came down to it, it was unfortunate.
I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I just, in those situations, I got to protect myself because I've been in way too many situations.
I'm always the recipient of the bad end of it. So he wanted to make somebody else the bad end.
Yeah, he wanted to injure someone else. He should just blame everything on Bell's palsy.
Yeah. And we'd be like, okay.
Correct. So he just can't blink? Out of one side of his face.
Correct. Jesus Christ.
That's when, remember when he went down? Yeah. It was like, what's going on with his eyeball? Is that like when LeBron said that he saw three baskets and aimed for the one in the middle? Is that the opposite of that? I don't know.
Where he's got one eye, so it's like closing your eye to shoot something? He's like better at shooting? He's a sharp shooter. I like that take.
I mean, today his shooting was incredible. Yeah, no, he had an incredible game.
It sucks that he also added that part because we should be talking only about his 50-point game, but you can't just ignore him going like WWE on the Knicks. And I love, the one part I do love about this, this series, it had bad blood going in just because it's Philly and New York, but I love when a series gets to like insane levels of bad blood this quickly it's game three and everyone hates everyone so much there's there this could be like an actual brawl situation yeah because next game someone's gonna go after and beats knee and if he goes down with his and if if he if he goes out of the game and like actually tears his ACL or re-injures his meniscus, it's going to be like actual war.
Who's your dog on the team that you need to step up and protect him? I don't know. We don't have P.J.
Tucker anymore, which is tough. Yeah, Niang's not on the team, right? Campaign could get a little feisty.
Oh, Campaign definitely could. He could do a dance move on someone.
Campaign could get feisty. He could do a little...
Lowry will be like little dog with big bark. Yeah, Campaign could do a little West Side Story.
Jets versus Sharks. Campaign was also awesome tonight.
Campaign was a situation. Who was right? Role players play better at home.
And I said Campaign is awesome. He was, campaign was awesome.
Like, he was awesome today. He just, the key with campaign is you got to just like somehow memory flash him to be like, you weren't awesome.
Because the next game he'll be like, I'm on campaign. B-Ball Paul maybe could get in the mud.
Yeah, B-Ball Paul could get in the mud, but he's like a very nice guy. The Knicks have some tough-ass dudes.
Oh, yeah. I mean, that guy, Hartenstein, is incredible.
Yeah. I also love Nick Nurse after the game when they asked him about the Embiid play.
He's like, I honestly haven't seen it. I don't know what you're talking about.
Yeah, no, I like that, too. That's kind of how I wish I could go about this.
Yeah, he's never going to watch that play. Yeah.
He should purposely avoid watching it so he can just keep saying, haven't seen it, I'm going to leave that up to the league. They're the ones that watch it.
I don't watch it. Yeah.
So Sunday must win? Yeah, 100%. Nice.
Are you cocky? I think we win the series. I like that.
The garden is just tough. It was just like watching the game in Philly, just so much more comfortable.
Yeah. Because when the garden gets rocking, it's scary.
It's scary. Yeah.
Do you have your defense ready against the Knicks fans that will ask for you to apologize for Embiid's behavior? Yeah. No, I'm sorry that that happened.
I mean, Mitchell Robinson didn't get hurt on that play. He did get hurt later in the game.
Oh. I wish he didn't do that, but I'm really happy with what I saw from Joel Embiid the the rest of that game because a lot of nicks fans are like well he should have been out of the game he should have had the opportunity i was but that's also that's also pussy shit because they're like oh we would have won that game if mb got ejected so are you saying you just you don't want to play a team at full strength oh i never do i think they're saying that i never want to play it yeah if you had the choice to play against the guy that dropped 50 on you or not

they say like i'm going to take the not yeah they're like yeah we're a better team if the best

if top three player in the league is not playing yeah yeah sure and shout out three top three yeah

top three he did win mvp last year uh shout out the magic for scoring the basketball they killed

the calves so it's good for them to to get into series. See where that goes.
They scored 121 points. Don't waste them all.
Yeah, listen to Magic. But again, it's role players at home.
I don't think the Magic are as bad as they looked in those first two games. Yeah.
No, they, I mean, Markel Fultz had 11 and Cole Anthony had 10. Like, you know, when you get home, get more comfortable.
Guys step up. And then the other game, which was another shit-kicking on Wednesday night, the Thunder got just like – being a Thunder fan right now must be so much fun because first game, tough, nerves, young group in the playoffs, had to fight and win that game.
This game they killed the Pelicans, and SGA and Chet were awesome. It was very fun.
They were incredible, and that's like, oh, shit, we got those guys forever? And I feel like Chet smiles so much more in the NBA than he did at Gonzaga. Yeah.
I feel like he was all business. Well, at Gonzaga's dad was the camcorder just following him around yeah now he's like okay basketball is fun yeah and he's playing loose and he's he's way better than i thought that he would be yeah he so that was that that had to be like one of those moments where if you're a thunder fan you're like holy fuck even if we don't you know even if we don't go to the finals even go to the western conference finals like this is the future we're just going to keep building on just imagine just close your eyes and be like but what if kd also yeah what if kd was doing some iso ball in the corner what if okay close your eyes and imagine a future with kd and also with a giant building a new giant building in downtown oklahoma city and russell westbrook incredible why not get the gang back together why not it's steven adams yeah uh hockey should we talk a little hockey bruinsins are up 2-1 Hank.
Cocky Hank? No. Oh.
Well, Hank knows Paul. That was a battle.
That was a war. Swayman saved the day.
They got to keep him in. They got to keep him in.
Yeah. I think the coach was even saying, like, you could tell that they're thinking about Swayman.
He's the key to the series. They bump into him.
They look different when they have to go up against them yeah the um they look nervous we also have some weird like usually the first round of the hockey playoffs is fun because all these series are close but we now have uh the canes up 3-0 the uh panthers up 3-0 the rangers maybe another down 2-0 rangers are down 2-0. Down 2-0.
Basically. Yeah.
And then I stayed up and watched that Kings-Oilers game. Oilers are going to kill me just staying up late.
That was an awesome game. The period of the week for the Oilers would be the second period, even though they lost because they came out buzzing.
And the Knights are just so good they went into dallas tough look for for the stars people out there because they were thinking stanley cup they were thinking stanley cup they're down 2-0 they lost both games at home the knights defense is so fucking good i saw a stat uh i gotta try to find it it was something like in the last five and a half minutes the d Dallas Stars didn't even get a shot attempt. That's just what they're doing defensively.
Yeah, it's very frustrating. It's not just like, oh, they got a goalie standing on their head.
They're just so defensively sound and stopping them. There's just nothing you can do.
That's the series where you have to get into a fight. If you're down, if you're the Stars, come out, try to get into a fight, mix things up.
Yeah, I'd agree. That's my solution to everything in hockey.
Get in a fight. Just get in a fight.
Changes the whole momentum of the series. Yeah.
Okay, anything else we got in the sports world? Oh, here it is. Golden Knights did not allow a single shot on goal in the last 538 of the game, holding a one-goal lead on the road in the playoffs against a team that averages 3.59 goals per game that's insane yep i do have one more one more thing in sports that we should talk about because we missed it uh reggie bush got his heisman oh yeah we did it congratulations we bullied the heisman trust and johnny manzel know uh johnny manzel i think he was he was like the straw that broke the camel's back or did he know they know that they were going to do it and that's a great move by him and to get out in front of him yeah i'm not going to be there i don't think so i feel like you say we weren't going to be there so shouldn't we get some credit yeah yeah we did i think i think a lot of people bullied the heisman trophy yeah it's one of the best examples of bullying working in recent history where people are just like this is bullshit that reggie bush doesn't have it but also it's it's bullshit that reggie bush ever gave the heisman trophy back yeah because they had to ask him yeah he should have just kept it he should have just kept it yeah that's since nine tenths of the law yeah squatters rights squatter nine yeah possession is important uh unless you're playing in the ncaa championship game and you see a guy that you want a lateral to yes that's Reggie Bush should know.
Yeah. We need to now focus all of our energy because I did say right after it happened, it's like a dog chasing a car.
You catch it and you're like, what do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame. Barry Bonds Hall of Fame.
Easy. Barry Bonds Hall of Fame should be all the energy of the sports world.
Write that wrong. Barry Bonds.
The best baseball player of all time is not in the Hall of Fame. Yeah.
It's ridiculous. Also, Jim Trestle should be retroactively rehired by Ohio State.
Yep. I know the Heisman Trophy and the NCAA are two completely different entities, but the NCAA, remember what a huge scandal that was at Ohio State where players were taking their personal merchandise and then giving it to a tattoo shop for free tattoos? Yeah.
And then everybody, it was the leading story on ESPN for like a month. Yeah.
You're like, can you believe what these assholes are doing? Yeah. It was crazy.
I made a list. It was like, we need to get Rick Pitino, Louisville Banner back up.
Yeah. We need to get Pete Rose Hall of Fame, Barry Bonds Hall of Fame.
Armando Galarrago's got to get his perfect game. One of the craziest injuries all time for the Tigers.

And that was, yeah, we'll think of some more.

Dan Heron, Hall of Fame.

Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers back.

Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers back.

Yeah, we got some more.

Fab Five, did they ever get that banner back?

I don't know if they did.

I don't know.

Will Wade, rehired by LSU.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like it. So we got to right these wrong wrongs use all of our energy bullying worked Barry Bonds Hall of Fame is number one on my list but the thing is that's never gonna happen but it should but we thought maybe Reggie Bush would never get his Heisman back we can do anything with mob mentality we can do anything okay let's do Dan S soda in studio and then we'll finish with fire fest and uh lottery ball which we taped at two o'clock today okay before we get to our awesome interview with dan soda in person our good friends from pepsi are here we love pepsi everything tastes better with the pepsi saucy stretchy crunchy gooey messy everything tastes better with the Pepsi.
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Okay, here he is, Dan Soder. All right, we now welcome on a very special guest.
He is an incredible comedian. He's got a new special out called On the Road on his YouTube channel.
It is Dan Soder. Dan? Yeah, thanks for having me, guys.
Thank you for coming by. Yeah.
We were talking about it before. I mean, we love all comedians.
We love comedy, but we have a special spot in our heart for comedians that like sports. I love it.
I feel like there's a lot of comedians out there that either like sports and don't talk about it. Or they're like, I don't even watch those things.
Yeah. You get the guys that don't like sports.
They make you feel bad for liking sports. Yeah.
Right. Where they're like, oh, you just want to talk about sports.
but then the camaraderie of like i can call bargetsy shane big j and we can just talk sports yeah and you and it's like when you're on the road i know if nate's calling me he'll be like there's a game on dude the funniest nate one i was in san diego doing a show and i was just like getting lunch and i'm on the phone with nate and we're just talking and he's like oh did you you do you see the Colts drafted and I'm like no dude I'm getting lunch and he's like you're not watching the fifth round I'm not gonna watch the fifth round of the draft yeah it was like a instant I was like no dude I'm out having lunch and he's like I thought you liked sports yeah you know so you like bumped you down his list yeah he you're a chick. Yeah.
But he really had like that father that was disappointed. Yeah.
Like I thought you'd be watching late round draft picks. You're like, no, I wait for, you know, I wait for it to fill out online to see who, and then I go look up the guys.
Yeah. I thought you was raised better than that.
Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you cared. Yeah.
So who are your teams? My dad's from the Bay Area, so I was born into the 49ers Giants. And then when I was about 10 years old, the Warriors broke up, run TMC.
Yeah. And I chose the Nuggets because I lived in Denver with my mom.
And so I was like, I need a Denver team. And I wasn't going to do Broncos.
Rockies were in the NL West when they were created. Yeah.
So I was like, oh. So I'm Niners, Giants, Nuggets.
That must be pretty nice for you the last couple years well except for the niners except i mean it's been nice but not great but nuggets has been after mellow left it was so crushing that i was like we're never gonna get another superstar and i i jokingly was like what are we gonna get like a crusty european yeah and then we got the coolest fun fun European. Who's the best player in the world.
Best player in the world. One of the best big men of all time.
This has got to be the guy that was like, I knew he was different the second we got him. I loved it.
He got drafted during a Taco Bell commercial. Big Cesarito.
Yeah, Big Cesarito. He plays, I always say this, Jokic plays basketball like he's in the pool with his kids.
Like he's wading above the water, and's like just putting it above him. Just the way he puts it back in his shot.
He does. He like floats above everyone else.
Yeah, he plays pool basketball. And people are scratching at him.
Yeah, his kids are on his back. And he gets out looking like he played pool basketball with his arms all fucking mangled.
You can just see his wife going, burgers are ready. Hold on, one more shot.
He got a triple-double triple double does he actually own cats because he looks like just with his arms yeah it's like he's always picking up a cat that doesn't want to be picked up well he's that pasty kind of white i bet you could just go like that and then it'll show yeah he's got the marks and everything after every single game he's got chubby cousin arms yeah and he's got brothers his brothers rock too dude his brother let me tell you something about Jokic's brothers they are my favorite fans in the audience because I don't remember the year that the Sun swept the Nuggets yeah Devin Booker kind of got into it with Jokic and his brothers were ready to go yeah they also harass Mike Malone in a way where they like shake him yeah did you see him the Jokic family all they want to do is go race horses and they just happen to be yokich just happens to be one of the greatest nba players and it it is crazy like yokich he is one of those guys that if he was obviously his height made him you know like i'm gonna go play basketball but you could tell that like he kind of wishes he was shorter just so he could be a jockey yeah like he's like i kind of wish i could just could just ride horses. The way jockeys are like, I want to be a regular-sized man.

And Jokic is like, well, I don't have to be shy.

I always see his horses, and I'm like, God, I feel so bad for you.

Like, they're pulling him in this chariot.

It's like 320 pounds.

And he's the whole time.

The horse is like, fuck this.

He's like, I wish I was smaller.

And they're looking over at other people, and they're like,

you got such an easy job as a horse.

My favorite was when they won the championship,

and they're giving the press conference, and they're like, are you going to go to the parade? And he's like, when is parade? Yeah. They're like Tuesday.

He goes,

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that. people and they're like you got such an easy job as a horse yeah my favorite was when they won the championship and they're given the press conference and they're like are you gonna go to the parade and he's like when is parade yeah they're like tuesday he goes i want to go home yeah and then he got drunk at the parade and he goes i know i say i don't like parade i fucking love parade i have that clip on my phone because it makes me so happy as a nuggets fan when you grow up a nuggets fan you're just like well we're never gonna win a championship right we had the 09 team with george carl and you know the thuggets that lost in the western conference finals to kobe's lakers with trevor oriza and we were like that's it that's the closest we're gonna get yeah and then this team you're just like we tied a franchise record this year of wins it was it's i'm really hoping it and lakers fans are doing a lot of this and it's kind of like i hope we smack you yeah well that was the weirdest series ever last year where everyone was like the lakers man they they took it to the nuggets you got swept got swept it's crazy also as a nuggets fan it was it was poetic because the day we swept the lakers was the day carmelo retired oh and you're kind of like yeah bud yeah what's up you oh there ain't shit in denver huh yeah huh? How's that feel? How's the breeze hitting your ring finger? It's just nice because they're a fun team too.
I mean, I love Jamal Murray. I love Aaron Gordon.
That Aaron Gordon trade changed everything for us. But I do miss Bruce Brown.
I wish we still had Bruce Brown. I'm glad he got paid in Indiana, but he was like a guy that would come off the bench and you're're like, oh, our starters can rest.
Like, he just energized the whole team.

I also like how he handled that after the championship.

He was like, yeah, I'm coming back.

And Malone was like, yeah, he's coming back.

We're going to keep him together.

And then he gets an offer.

He's like, yeah, psych.

I got to go.

I got to turn down $80 million.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was awesome.

You know, and I don't think Nuggets fans, when he came back for his ring,

like, it was like an emotional night.

Denver fans were like, yeah, we love you.

Because we knew how important he was for that ring.

And then the other part of it is that Patrick Mahomes owns your life. Dude.
He's a thief of joy. I mean, we've talked about it many times.
He's so good at stealing joy. He really is.
That was the best 49er team since 1994. Yeah.
That was the complete 49er team. And it just hurt so much.
Now, here's the thing. 2019, I got to go to both Super Bowls.
I was very lucky. I got to go to both Super Bowls.
2019, the reason that hurt so much was because McDaniel was the run game coordinator, and it's just like you just feel it's so insane that your middle school best friend is on. I grew up in Denver, a 49ers fan.
So I'm an outsider already. But then my friend from middle school is on the Niners.
Right. Creating this unbelievable offense, helping create this unbelievable offense.
And it's like, oh, this is perfect. This is like heaven.
Your whole life is coming together. Yeah.
In this moment. And then they.
Yeah. And then they lost.
And Patrick Mahomes. And then Patrick Mahomes.
So this year, Michael Che got us tickets. And so, like, Shane, shout out Shane Gillis.
Shane was like, you can crash in my hotel room, which is half the battle. Yeah.
Especially in Vegas. In Vegas.
It's a nightmare to begin with. Right.
But he was like, listen, he was out there with Bud Light. He had Super Bowl tickets.
He's like, I got you. You can crash in my room, which was huge.
And then Che was like, I got us tickets. So immediately I'm like, I'm lucky.
All I have to pay for is plane tickets and dinner and drinks if we go out. Lose that game in overtime, which was just almost worse.
You're dragging it out. It was the ups and downs, coin flip.
There was a lot of problems. But what made it awesome, like the saving grace, was, as I was telling you on the act, leaving a Super Bowl when your team loses, you're just so beat up and defeated.
You know, Katie has gone to a bunch of Super Bowls, and she told me, because she got me tickets to 2019, and she said, it hurts more when your team loses. It's worse, if your team wins, it's not as, it not it's like proportionally it's the traveling like i've i've gone to a couple rose bowls and lost both of them when you when you walk out of a stadium and you're like i'm so far from home and all i want to do is be home nailed it yeah so we leave and che and i are leaving with all these sad 49ers fans and we're going back to the strip and che's like i don't know you want to get dinner and i'm like yeah let's get dinner and so we go to he's like i ate at this steakhouse at my uh hotel everywhere you couldn't get dinner because it was like it's vegas super bowl let out no place no place is like yeah we're not taking walk-ins you have a reservation we go to this steakhouse and they're like oh michael che he had ate there earlier they're like do you want to get a table and he's like yeah sure they get us they put us at a table in the back next to Vince Vaughn oh hell yeah and Vince Vaughn knows Che so that we start talking to Vince Vaughn and he's like Vince Vaughn yeah he's like who do you guys like the Niners they're great Brock Purdy you got to feel good about that you got a quarterback that can do it and he's and I'm like it was literally lifting my spirits and i was like okay this is fucking phenomenal yeah i'm getting like old school vince vaughn right now yeah it's like oh come on baby you guys had a good defense you guys might be back next year he is he does have an orator we were lucky enough to stand next to him just next to him yeah lsu alabama game and i think he like he turned us and asked us a question about like something about a pass or something we answered it and we're like like, fuck.
We told Vince Vaughn. We know ball.
Yeah. We know ball.
We know ball. He didn't understand one of the rules.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
College rules. I love that.
We fucking know ball. This fucking rock.
It must suck to be Vince Vaughn in Vegas, though, because everybody just comes up to you. Vegas baby.
It's like, yeah. Just say Vegas baby to me.
Yeah. But But dude, I'm telling you, that was like a gift from God just to be like,

here you go.

Here's a,

because then the rest of the trip

was horrible.

Yeah,

you had a place to like sit down

and decompress after the game.

Yeah.

Okay,

we can go have fun.

And we commiserated

and then I just went back

to the hotel and packed

and waited for my early flight.

So where do you rank Brock Purdy?

It's the funnest thing

that we get to do.

Every,

every game.

As far as what?

Quarterbacks.

He's unbelievable.

So is he top five? Yeah. yeah oh i think he's top five here's the thing about brock purdy i think he's uh you know talent wise i think like actual arm speed all that maybe not he's just got this dog mentality he's got this winner mentality and I remember watching the game last season, the season that he went down against the Eagles.
They were playing the Raiders. You guys would have beaten the Eagles.
If he was healthy? Yeah. He smoked them.
That's turning into a sweet rivalry. Yeah, no, our producer over there is a Philly, a diehard Philly.
I mean. He just shook his head violently.
Well, they just signed Devonta until 2028. He just went like this.
But guess what? We still got Debo. Yeah.
Debo is what killed him. Yeah.
But Brock did this move against the Raiders. Because I watched Jimmy.
I was like a Jimmy guy. I was like, I'll turn around.
It's all right. He overthrew him.
So what? But Jimmy would just take sacks. Yeah.
And then Brock, they were playing the Raiders, and Max Crosby just came through. And Brock just did this one move and side-armed it to CMC, and it was like a 45-yard gain.
And you're like, that was the one play where I was like, this guy can just do. It's what Russ used to do for Seattle.
Yeah. You would just extend that play three or four seconds, and someone gets open.
Yeah. But he throws dimes.
Yeah. I mean, you know, the Niners need to sign iuk i know that they're like oh there's a lot of guys you gotta sign this is it i think this is the season this is it because i think after this season you're looking at like six or seven guys that need to get re-signed that are clutch for the team this is why that you should take the strategy of the bears and the commanders just never get good players then you don't have to resign guys got Adam Peters.
That's unbelievable. Yeah.
That guy was in New England with Belichick. He helped build that Broncos team to win the Super Bowl, and he was a sneaky weapon for the 49ers.
He's what – I love Adam Peters. And he's already making moves that you're like, Commanders are going to start upsetting a lot of people in the NFC.
He's great in the draft. He helped build the courier team.

He's a good dude.

He's like, honestly, when I saw him go to Washington,

I was like, damn, that's the effect of not having a Dan Snyder.

Now you're going to start getting a good GM.

You've got an owner that gets out of the way that can fund him. Yeah, our strategy right now is just to collect guys.

We're collecting dudes.

We're hiring people that don't even work in our office. Smart dudes.
We're just like, oh, that guy's smart. Okay, oh, that guy's an announcer for the NBA on TV.
Doesn't matter. He's a smart guy.
We're going to hire him. That's actually the thing that I don't understand why more owners don't do.
I'm telling you, man, watching, you know, and Jed York did that when he brought in Kyle and John Lynch, where he did this thing where he's like, hey, I'm signing them to the same amount of deals, so they're kind of tethered to each other. Yeah.
So they have to work together. Yeah.
And then you saw the Niners kind of build up and be like, and get small pieces like Kittle. And then you start getting like Fred Warner, and you start drafting right, and you're like, oh, okay, these guys are building a locker room.
Then you get like a Bosa, and you get like big guys. But you start building that like base, and some of these guys turn into unbelievable superstars.
So you mentioned Mike McDaniel. yeah you grew up with him yeah you're best friends with him in middle school yeah that was my guy dude you know that he was going to be a coach was that always his thing no i just knew he was going to be involved with the nfl somehow he was just like he was he was good at football he's just an undersized receiver he went and played at yale but his football intelligence was off the charts always yeah always Yeah.
Always very smart, always knew. He would read, like, the press books of each team, especially the Broncos.
He was, like, super into the Broncos. So I got to go to that Miami Broncos game, and that was awesome.
That was awesome. Oh, that was incredible.
My friend Chad, me and my friend Chad go to every game. It's like, you know, we go to Dolphins games together.
We went to the KC game. We go support McDaniel.
And he's a season ticket holder for the Broncos. And as the ass whooping's going on, Katie kind of busts Chad's balls.
And she goes, Chad, how are you feeling? And he goes, something can be beautiful and tragic at the same time. I mean, they were just getting rocked.
It was insane. I wanted that game to get worse.
I wanted 100 points on the scoreboard. But he did the thing where he had the knife at their throat, and then he went, nah, nah, nah.
Yeah. And I love that.
And that just kind of shows you, like, Mike's like, nah, we need good karma. You know, we're going to move forward.
So would you – if it was 49ers, Dolphins, and the Super Bowl? I would plead the fifth. Really? Yeah, I mean, here's the thing.
It's a win-win. If you want my honest-to-God reaction, that's one of my oldest friends in the world.
Right. I'd want the Dolphins.
Yeah. I'd want him to win.
Yeah. But best case scenario, if they would lose, the Niners still win.
Yeah. You're great if the Niners won a Super Bowl and then you played the Dolphins in the Super Bowl.
So you're like, yeah, I got my title last year. Exactly.
That's exactly how I was. That's probably the dream scenario.
Niners win the Super Bowl. Dolphins go.

If they play the Niners, then they win.

You remember when he got caught vaping on the sidelines?

Dude, I was sitting next to his wife.

That was awesome.

I was in Buffalo.

And I'm on Twitter and I see that.

And I show it and you see his wife go.

I think he just vaped.

And she goes, damn it.

Because he won't ever talk about it.

You know, the NFL, they block them from actually talking real or whatever. real or whatever.
You got caught, dude. You got straight up caught.
But who wouldn't want? Dude, you're coaching with your third string quarterback taking on one of the best teams in the AFC. And you're in the game.
You're in the game. Whack of vape.
Yeah. Let them start smoking cigarettes.
It was crazy that they were in that game. It was nuts.
Skylar Thompson. Skylar Thompson.
Skylar Thompson was the quarterback, and they were in it, dude. Yeah.
And then Frank left early. Yeah.
Remember that? The guy Frank left early. Frank Tank.
I was on a flight with him on the way back. What was that like? Oh.
I mean, I was on the same flight from him back to New York from Buffalo. Did you leave the game early? I had to.
I had to catch my flight. Yeah.
He left early. But here's the thing.
I kind of knew of knew that was going to happen right so what's cool about being friends with the head coaches they like can give you a staff member right to be like all right because i had to go to the van i had to get my suitcase and my stuff and then go to the thing and you were like go go go go go go and it was nuts and but it happened where the game was out of reach when i left Do you realize you may at some point have to be the peacemaker between Frank and Mike? Because Frank, he goes hard at his team. Well, I have a...
Listen, man. If you're a sports fan, you know about bookmarking tweets.
Yeah. Oh.
And he said some nasty shit about McDaniel. Oh, yeah.
After they lost that Chiefs game. And I was at that Chiefs game.
Yeah. And he said some nasty shit.
And I bookmarked it. You bookmark Frank? You don't come after my friend.
Yeah, but it's Frank. I know it's Frank.
He's also like, he's undefeated on the internet. Yeah, I know.
Like, if you go after him, you're going to lose. Well, no, I also, I like Frank.
Yeah, right. So I would broker that piece.
I would broker that piece deal. The unfortunate part is he doesn't, he can, you can broker a piece, but it won't stick.
Yeah. Like, I brokered a piece with him and Scott Van Pelt.
It lasted maybe two days. And then he was like, fuck Scott Van Pelt.
But I know if McDaniel takes the Dolphins far, he'll forever have a piece of Frank's heart. Yes.
Oh, yeah. That's what I mean.
Even if they get to an AFC championship game, a Super Bowl, even if it doesn't complete it. I know Frank will be like, because Dolphins fans want a playoff win.
They want a playoff win, they want a run, and I think McDaniel's going to do that. How bad did that suck being at that game in Kansas City? Dude, it was...
How cold was it? People died. There was that house that five people got locked out of.
Did they figure out what happened with that? Yeah, Yeah, it was something. But then someone was like, my husband didn't take drugs.

It was so cold it was laughable.

Yeah.

You went outside and you're like, this is nuts.

What are we doing?

Why?

Don't let them do this.

Yeah.

Don't let them do this. Also, what's crazy was it was like the Browns-Houston game was the day game.

And you're like, flip it, NFL.

Why are you letting the night?

You're letting the night game be the warm weather city?

Houston's inside, I think.

Yeah.

So you're going flip it nfl why are you letting the degrees yeah you're letting the night game be the warm weather city houston's inside i think yeah so you're like what are you doing it was the windshield was like minus 40 dude i have a picture with me and mike's father-in-law on the field at arrowhead and the thermometer was broken it just was like doing that thing where you know time travel movies yeah where it's like it was like that on the thermometer it It was nuts. I saw the Dolphins uniform that night, and I was like, they're not winning this weather.
Yeah, dude. Dude, Mahomes' helmet cracked.
Yeah. It was insane.
That's right. Yeah.
And let me just say something. I've been to a lot of playoff games where we've lost or whatever.
Chiefs fans, they're not cool. Not cool after you lose.
Oh, really? Bills fans. Bills fans.
It's a division rival. Yeah.
Yeah. You lose, they go, hey, you know, it's good season or whatever.
Chiefs fans, they pop champagne. They go like, eh, Chiefs kingdom.
You're the bad guys now. Yeah.
Just so you know that, Chiefs fans, you're the bad guys now. Mahomes has.
And I am saying that because they lost two seasons. Well, Mahomes has changed like an entire region.
Yeah. Like they walk around with the confidence because why wouldn't you? It's Mahomes in miami when they beat the niners in 2019 i was you know rocking my niner hat at the airport the next day and this old lady that was a chiefs fan was like ah come on that was our first in 50 years and you go like true i'll give you that but then they keep going i know it's the duke it's it's the duke curse it's like you go to the finals too many times people, people are like, we're sick of seeing you.
Yeah, Hank, our producer, he walks around with a sense of entitlement because he's a Patriots fan. Yeah.
But that's changing now. He didn't even understand the draft when we explained it to him.
He thinks Tom Brady is like a direct reflection of him. And listen, I understand this because it's rich kid brain.
It's like you grow up with like servants and stuff and you're like well the servants bring me food i grew up a niners fan dude up until 2002 my only thought every season was who are we going to play in the nfc championship yeah it was like we're winning the west we're going to go to the nfc championship game and then that complete destruction of the franchise you have this moment where you go like what where you're going two and four that was like when we went two and 14 to draft alex smith yeah and you're like we have the number one pick that's disgusting yeah we usually pick 25 or later yeah do you miss harbaugh a little he's the best harbaugh is the best he is he is very fun for a couple seasons yeah but then you see why he was a great college coach is because they leave yeah i know because the 49ers it started grinding the gears of people where they're like all right with the rah-rah shit like we're we're play we're pros i think john that's why john's successful because he's like a dialed down yeah but i think i think chargers will be good right away they're gonna be they're gonna be good they're gonna be instant contenders in the AFC West. Yeah.
We're going to get back to Dan in a second.

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And now here's more Dan Soder. All right, you're special.
So I watched it this morning on the road. So you did it on YouTube, which I love because I feel like- I was late to the party, man.
I should have been doing this. Really? I should have been doing this.
I did an HBO special in 2019 before the pandemic. It was like, I got to do the classic HBO special.
and that I should have been doing this. I did an HBO special in 2019 before the pandemic.
It was like I got to do the classic HBO special, and then I should have been putting stuff out since then on YouTube. Yeah.
Because I did it, and I immediately was like, damn, all right. Because it feels like everyone's doing that now.
You guys get – you don't have to have any notes. You can just put out your content.
It's direct to the fans. Yeah.
And people could share it. Yeah, and it was funny i the the beginning of it uh not to ruin it because i want people to go watch it but talking about how you just were you wish you were a little bit dumber yeah i that i can relate to so much yeah i mean i suffer from anxiety a lot and i think it's because like if my brain was a little bit dumber i would just be like oh cool man the the we talk about it because i think pFT and I, we're not dumb, but I always say that I'm in that spot where I know that Malcolm Gladwell is full of shit, but I can't tell you why.
You know what I mean? I'm just enough. You're bar trivia smart.
Yeah, right. I'm smart enough to know what dumb looks like, but I'm not smart enough to explain what it is.
I can feel smart when I'm playing trivia at a bar a bar yeah i can feel smart certain topics but most stuff like classical stuff i'm very stupid yeah and like a sweet category on jeopardy you're like that's i look like a genius also it sucks to if you're smart enough to realize how dumb you are yeah you know that's that's where you run into problems yeah yeah i just know like man if it was just a little a little bit more. Little bit, yeah, just a little bit where I could just be a little happier.
And then I would just be like, oh, no worries. Yeah.
And I say that in a special, really hot people are just kind of like, it's going to work out. Yeah.
And you're like, damn, I'd love to be that. You know what it is? It's appropriate for right now in time when it's like World War III happens every other week.
and it's like i'm smart enough i'm like i should probably read up on this and then my reading up on it is like a 10 tweet i'm like all right i got it you find a good thread you're like i think i kind of know what's going on right where it's like if i was just a little dumber i'd be like i don't care yeah like my opinions about sports are never uh like ironclad like if they're like no that actually wasn't gonna happen i'd be like ah yeah you're probably right i'm very easy to go yeah i'm wrong yeah like i'll admit i'm wrong that's the kind of dumb i am where i'm like it felt like i was right but i could see that it felt good to me at the time or if you smoke like just the right amount of weed exactly then you dumb yourself down a little bit and you're like oh everything's cool i'm not thinking about anything yeah you're just kind of like and then if you smoke too much weed you're like oh i'm thinking about everything yeah that's probably the weight of the world is crushing me yeah true it's true uh i love you on billions thanks man great on billions uh are you familiar that that you and i shared a billing one episode did we really me and cc sabathia yeah oh yeah i remember yeah holy shit i think they added me in at the last second. Yeah, that was awesome.
And then- Did you have fun on set? Yeah, it was great. It was actually right at the start of the pandemic, which was weird.
Yeah, it was like episode, I want to say like 505. Yeah.
And maybe that, I might nail it on the- On the IMDB? On the IMDB, but I feel like it was episode five of season five. It was great great but it was so weird because it was right when it was starting so they had everybody kind of sequestered with masks on and you could only take your mask off while they were shooting oh damn you were doing it when we did you do it when we came back from the pandemic I think it was like one of the first episodes that you did back it was directed by oh shit what's his name played Gabe on Breaking Bad oh oh oh david costable yeah yeah who plays wags yeah yeah yeah you were like episode six or seven because we were up filming episode five the night rudy gobert hit all the mics yeah that was a crazy night and they canceled so i left it was like a night shoot we were like shooting at the studio at night and it was uh nuggets mavericks i remember that i was like oh nuggets mavs i'm mad i'm gonna miss this game and then i got a text from katie and she's like they canceled the nuggets game and i was like what and then it was tom hanks tom hanks had covid yeah and everyone's like oh and dude we were broke for dinner at like midnight and one of the crew guys goes you know there's an old chinese curse that says may you live in interesting times and i was like oh that's crazy and then the world shut down yeah and i was like you son of a bitch but when you came back that was with the shields the masks yeah you could only take it off for the for the shot yeah and then put it back on yeah but everybody on the set was so nice i just i think about like you mentioned you did a stand-up special in 2019 yeah do you go back and watch that and you're like my entire set is outdated now yeah it's so much shit happened well it's great i lost my sense of smell because of covid i completely lost it which i'm doing a joke about now and in that special i talk about smelling people yeah i was like oh that's crazy i can't even do that like that was back in the day where i where the honker worked yeah it doesn't but yeah there was that was interesting to come back.
And then as time went on and it relaxed, by the end, by the last season, it was back to kind of like what it was for the first five seasons. Yeah, did you study finance bros to figure out how to act? I waited on them for five years.
So I was in the shit with them. I worked at a Mexican restaurant in Midtown right by Black.
It was by Lehman Brothers, Blackstone, all those guys. And they would come in and just be dickheads.
So that was kind of like, oh, I know how they act. Yeah.
You guys nailed the vest, by the way. The vest.
The fleet's vest. Dollar Bill's vest was unbelievable.
Yeah. And that was like, you know, Kelly O'Coin, who plays Dollar Bill, huge sports guy.
So it's great when we would be on set. He's a huge Trailblazers fan.
and that was like Kelly O'Coin, who plays Dollar Bill, huge sports guy. So it's great.
When we would be on set, he's a huge Trailblazers fan. And that was when the Nuggets Trailblazers were kind of having their rivalry into the bubble and then out.
Yeah. And it was fun to be talking shit, being like, oh, dude, we got it.
And we did a boxing episode where we boxed each other. And that was at the height of the Blazers-Nuggets rivalry, and it was fun.
Did you think you did a good job boxing did you have to train for it yeah we had to go we yeah we were like went and like learned how to do footwork even though we're sloppy as hell because there's nothing worse than watching a sports movie and being like that guy's never shot a basketball but what they we worked with the trainer who trained hillary swank for million dollar baby okay and but the fun part was you read the script and you're like oh we suck yeah so this is gonna be this is going to be easy. Yeah.
But then I accidentally broke Kelly's rib. Because they're like, throw punches and I threw one and just.
It's got to feel good. Yeah, it does.
I just feel bad for the rest of the thing. But that episode was awesome because we had Rich Eisen and Bob Mennery.
And you had Stipe Miotic and Deontay Wilder. And it was like all these cool people in one location but with Billions sometimes you don't know the famous people like they have like finance people that are famous and so I'm just chilling on that boxing episode talking to this old guy just having a bullshit conversation and he walks away and David Levine one of the creators goes you know it's the guy that shorted Enron and I was like oh shit and I was just being dim sum down the street.
You need an idiot. No, the cameos in that show are always strong.
You got Metallica was on there. Yeah, they did season one.
Mark Cuban's been on there a few times, I think, right? Yeah, Cuban's done it a couple times. There's been some really cool ones.
And also, like, Koppelman is, like, friendly with J.J. Reddick.
Yeah. So Reddick would come by set when we were filming in Brooklyn, and that was cool because he's my age, and I went to Arizona he was at Duke.
And it was kind of like, like I got to be like, oh, Salim Stoudemire. I thought should have been player of the year.
He's like talking shit back. I was like, that's awesome.
JJ probably gets it all the time. Like people that meet him, they're like, I fucking hate you.
He's so cool. Yeah, I know.
Yeah. We, we, we've, we've had him on a few times.
He actually was my neighbor in Brooklyn. Really? Yeah.
Yeah. But he was like, it was, it's awesome when you have an athlete that you cheer against and you meet and you're like, ah, you're a good dude.
Yeah. Like, I bet Mahomes is a great dude.
Oh, he's the best. Yeah.
It actually makes me mad. I know.
I wish he was like, and it's crazy too because like, you know, his family's had some things. Sure.
And it's like, but he's, and he rides with his family. You're like, God damn it, you're a fucking great dude.
And he's a winner. And you're, yeah, so it's like, you meet those people and people and you're like all right and then you go back to sports and you're like fuck you though yeah put the uniform on yeah but we always talk about this if we had if if one of us rooted for a team that had patrick beholmes this show would suck yeah because no one wants to listen to you don't listen to winners once you win a lot then you do become like you said you become the guy that is now like looking down on everyone you're like oh i wish you could.
And honestly, I think, look what happened to the city of Boston. My in-laws are from Boston, and a lot of my close friends are from Boston.
In 2004, Boston was the most cheered-for city from the outside in, and then they had the run of the greatest sports run a city probably has ever had with not only the Patriots but the Red So Sox Celtics and the Bruins yeah and you're kind of like you guys are championship city and then now they're starting to come back down to earth where you're like all right I'm starting like Boston again yeah I can cheer for him now like the Celtics team you're like all right I kind of want to see him do something it is funny yeah watching Hank come to grips with I said he he literally like because I had the first pick he has a second hank has a third pick and we were talking about the draft and he thought he could trade up to one and not give up three oh yeah no we're like no that's not how it works you've never been up this high especially bears fans like i think i would honestly put commanders you guys are going to be coming back i think you're a team that like everyone's got to reset on yeah realize that Snyder's not there. It's going to take a couple years.
I would say the Bears are in a very similar position as the Browns and the Bills. Bills are starting to get good where you're like, all right, you guys are good and you have too much.
But Bears and Browns, I could see myself, if you guys go to the playoffs and the Niners get knocked out, being like, let's go Bears. And Caleb Williams, I think, is going to piss everyone off.
You think so? Oh, yeah yeah he's the first Gen Z quarterback can I ask you a question yeah how upset what if Justin Fields goes to Pittsburgh oh it's gonna happen and just rip oh he's gonna be awesome it's gonna be serious dude he's one or two years after Russ yeah no he's gonna be sick yeah he's gonna be sick when the Niners drafted Trey Lance so I was like you know McDaniel was still there he's the OC and I was like who he taken and he's like who do you want I was like Justin Fields and he was like well I'm not gonna tell you who I'm it's like a day before the draft and I was like oh no I want Justin Fields I liked him I thought he was so good and I didn't think he got a fair shake in Chicago he did not uh people don't talk the the Mitch trade up Solomon Thomas was a bust yeah we traded you guys I tried to do a whole thing where I was like why aren't we talking about Solomon Thomas I guess fucking sucked for the 49ers you guys gave away so much to get your business because I think we turned a couple of those picks into good shit like the later pick Shanahan is dangerous third fourth round he's going to get somebody in the third or fourth round that you're like, oh, shit, this guy turned out to be unbelievable. Yeah.
And that's what I love about the front office of Lynch and Shanahan is they do really well in the draft. Yeah.
They pick up people. And I think McDaniel's unbelievable at the draft.
Are you still, like, real high on Kyle as a head coach? I love Kyle. I mean, I just, you know what I mean? He's starting to wear it, though.
Oh, yeah, he's gray. Like, the pictures.
He's got president face. Yeah, he's like, dude.
You know how they used to show Obama before and after? Yeah, he's Abraham Lincoln after the Civil War. Yeah, dude.
You're just like, dude, you can't take any more of these losses. I think he, but I love that Andy Reid said that to him, where he goes, you just keep going and it'll go.
Because I think Kyle is such a. Yeah, that's nice.
The guy who just has won three. He's like, don't worry.
He's like, fuck you, dude. He's leaving with your girl, and he's like, you'll find true love.
You'll get him a home. Yeah.
It gets better, Kyle. Yeah, it gets better.
I think Kyle is an unbelievable – Oh, he's incredible. And I think what he's done with the 49ers organization, I think we're like – I think this is it.
I think it's like this is the season or we have to enter a rebuilding phase. just think it's like win or die the thing is if kyle was on the open market as a head coach there would be like 30 teams you'd want him yeah he makes running the football sexy yeah like it doesn't happen anymore like the moves yeah and what's what's fun is watching mcdaniel get a chance now to implement that run game in miami with a chain and and guys like he brought he brought Fred Wilson Jr.
and he had you know Raheem Mostert is unbelievable and Mostert was in San Francisco with him and it's just like I'm excited to see McDaniel's influence bleed into the Dolphins because they have some high octane players but McDaniel's talent is scouting yeah like he's unbelievable you know he loved like when he went to 49ers, there was kind of this thing where he was like, I get one player in the off season. He told me, he's like, I get to tell Kyle one guy that I'm like that rock that.
And he came in the first year and got Kyle use check. Oh, wow.
I love that. He's like, I want use check out of Baltimore.
And I would say he's one of the most important 49ers of the last. Yeah.
Yeah. Now use checks.
Unbelievable. Yeah.
They got ing they got Engold. Yeah.
Down in Miami. Same thing.
Exactly. He loves a fullback because he was a ball boy with the Broncos and saw Howard Griffin blocking for Terrell Davis and all those 1,000-yard backs.
Yeah, they ran the ball just like that. And that downhill toss.
Yeah. And McDaniel implementing a zone-blocking scheme for linemen is, I think, It's so cool.
Yeah. I'm.
I just get when I talk NFL, I just am like, let it be September. I know.
I want it back. I just want it so bad.
Run it back. This is right around the time where it's like, because every time the football season ends, I'm like, all right, I need a break.
This is nice. Dude, I couldn't.
And then two months happen. I'm like, I'd like some football.
Yeah. I couldn't think of football.
I was so heartbroken. Yeah.
Especially chiefs again yeah like again yeah but it was always gonna be the chiefs looking back on the season the story always Taylor Swift getting involved and like everyone had them written off yeah they get to play the whole like we're underdogs but it just sucked because i went and watched him beat the dolphins and i was like well whatever and then i had to watch them beat the Niners again and I was like yeah I just can't I'm done by the way I'm done 49ers fans rest easy I will never go to a 49ers Super Bowl again I will watch it oh I'm Owen too I'm not doing that to the fan that's huge actually if I'm the if I'm the mush I'm not going you got to do yeah you have to take one for the team I'm just I'm gonna watch at home yeah I'll watch at home from now on I'll go to regular season games hell I'm pretty good with playoff games I think I'm like almost undefeated going to Niners playoff games but I will stay away from the Super Bowl that's better at home anyways it is I've done it and that loss dude the travel you nailed it yeah it's when you're just you just walk out of a stadium you're like just put me at home right now I was sitting next to this father and son who are Chiefs fans on the flight home and they were giddy about it. And I was like, dude, I hate you guys.
They were watching the highlights on their phone and I was like, fuck that. When you were on that plane with Frank the Tank, could you hear him yelling about the Mets? Oh, dude, he just was so sad after that Buffalo game when we were on that flight that I wanted to say something and be like, hey, man, I know.
I know. And I know he was fired up against the Chiefs because it was like a game where he was like a lot of calls went wrong or whatever.
But I was fired up. That's when you become more of a friend than a fan where you see that where you go, hey, hey, that's my friend.
You know when someone stops you and you go like, hey, hey, hey, that's my guy. Frank just blacks out during games.
And that's that range. Yeah.
And I understand that range. We all have it.
You ready? Showtime. On May 3rd, summer starts with The Fall Guy.
What are you doing later? Let's drink a spicy margarita. Make some bad decisions.
Yes. Audiences are falling in love with the most entertaining film of the year.
The Fall Guy. The Fall Guy.
The Fall Guy. What's up the poster said see ryan gosling and emily blunt in the movie critics say exist to make you happy turn to make out because i don't either it's not what i'm into right now what are you into talking yeah the fall guy only in theaters may 3rd rated pg-13 um all right so you you mentioned uh waiting tables how long were you like to make it in comedy? I love the stories of- I mean, dude, I still am.
I was just like, you're like- Yeah, no, I've had some success, but I would say up until I moved to New York in 2007, and I spent about four years really grinding, waiting tables, doing shows at night. Did you live in a shithole? Oh, yeah.
I lived in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, but I lived in a windowless room that we turned into a closet later. I was there for like seven years.
So you wake up at like 2 p.m. and you have no idea what time it is.
Hungover. That's when I was drinking.
It was brutal. No air conditioning, so I had to take fans and line it up from our air conditioner in the living room, like a science project it blew cold air it has to make you appreciate everything everything comedians for some reason you obviously see it with actors but it feels like actors that just go to LA the ones that make it but you see so many comedians it happens overnight for overnight for actors.
Right. They just go like boom.

Like I guess the closest thing for comics would be getting SNL or something.

But watching Shane get SNL and then get fired.

But knowing that he had that momentum going.

It's all about momentum.

I've watched momentum happen with Nate.

I've watched it with Shane.

I've watched it with a lot of my friends.

And so I'm in this really great place right now where you're starting to sell out clubs.

You're starting to move to theaters.

And you're like oh this feels great. It also just feels kind of like alright I'm having fun doing stand up.

I'm going to go. to sell out clubs you're starting to move to theaters and you're like oh this feels great yeah it also just feels kind of like all right i'm i'm having fun doing stand-up i never thought i'd be adding shows yeah you know like making good money where you're like oh this is this is fun yeah it's a lot of fun is there a small pc that kind of misses the shittiness i miss my friends yeah because your friends get successful and they move away they move to nashville they move Yeah.
Like, they're gone. And you kind of miss being at the bar with them at one in the morning, being like, all right, I got to get up for work, but we're having so much fun.
Yeah, yeah. And you're just ball busting and just like, yeah, there is like, I think that's just natural with any, I mean.
Yeah. You know, you guys have gone through it.
You're super successful. You remember the days where you're just scratching for anything.
Yeah. And there's kind of like, you miss that, but you don't want to go through it again yeah exactly the climb is is fun but it's also when you're in the climb it can have moments you're scared yeah yeah like i remember i would open for bobby kelly and i'd open for colin coin or whatever and they'd be like you're gonna be fine and i'd be like dude you don't understand yeah i don't have money to pay my cell phone bill this month yeah and they're like you're gonna be fine and as it happens.
And as it happens, you're like, oh, shit. All right.
Yeah. That moment where it clicks, you're like, oh, this is a career.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's a pretty fucking cool moment. And it's been fun kind of trying to figure out different stuff.
Yeah. Like figuring out, like putting out the YouTube special.
I'm like, damn, I should have done this a while ago. But it was great now seeing the people be like sharing it.
People discovering you and being like, oh, shit. And then what's fun about, you know, I've been doing 20 years so you're like oh there's a backlog yeah like you can go watch my hbo special you can go watch my comedy central hour you can go watch stuff where you're like it's like finding out about a band and realizing they have like three albums yeah you're like oh i can go like i'm a huge queens of the stone age i love queens yeah and i got into them uh songs for the deaf yes and when i got into, I was like, oh, there's rated R self title.
Yep. The beaver split.
There's like a bunch of stuff. Kias.
Have you seen them live? Oh, like probably over 20 times. Oh, wow.
I've probably only seen him like five or six. They're unbelievable.
I mean, he puts on the best show. Josh is he also is like he's had some run ins with the law.
I don't know how he hasn't had more because he just unbelievable.'s unbelievable. He challenged some kid to a fight, stopped the whole show.
Yeah. Spotlight and was like.
He picks on people that are picking on people. Yeah, right.
Someone threw a shoe and he stopped the whole show, spotlight, maybe called him a word he can't say. Yeah.
It was like, get up here and fight me right now. And the kid just like ran away.
There's a clip. You can't find it anymore.
But there's like Queens and Stones around Songs for the Deaf. They're performing at the Orlando House of Blues and Josh turns around to talk to the drummer and this like finance bro goes and is like dancing in the middle of the stage and Josh just straight up 300 kicks him in the back and then he grabs the mic and he goes this is my fucking stage he's like he's classic rock and roll like he's like like, so I would leather jacket, like fucking just shreds.

I could argue they're the best American rock band in the last 40 years.

Yes.

I could argue. And I'll go album for album with anybody.

Their album.

Cause they evolve.

I mean, uh, times new Roman, their new album was unbelievable.

I got to see them, uh, in New York when they came to forest hills and Queens.

I'm going to go see him again on this tour.

Cause now they're like warmed up.

Even his side projects. I love the death metal of Death Metal.
Them Crooked Vultures. Yep.
The Desert Sessions. Yeah.
You know what it is? It's the same with anything. It's the same with sports, comedy, music.
It's just a dude that you see love doing it. Yeah.
And you're like, I love that you love doing it. Yeah.
No, it's true. It's funny.
It's just like, that's my shit. Queens of the Stone Age, you know, that's my.
Yeah, I I'm a huge fan what I like about them is you can listen to any of their albums and they all sound totally different from each other they're always interesting well you want to see people evolve you want to see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work but then you get to see them try stuff that does work and you're like yeah this shit rules they also pass the test and it's a very simple test when you put it on in a car like on a highway and then you look down you're like i'm going 120 yeah and i know this isn't necessarily legal but smoking weed and driving through the desert listening to the queens of the stone age yeah yeah we went we went to detroit last summer and i was like let's just put on some queens and we listened to like two straight albums and it was just like we got there fast people get out of a speeding ticket if you tell them if you tell them yeah if you're like i got the songs to the deaf yeah got it all right yeah got it then the cop's just like he writes you a ticket next time put on a podcast yeah put on something slow yeah i mean you know i got into him when i was at u of a at arizona in tucson and so you'd be driving around the desert listening to queens and you're like that rocks it fits yeah that man it's made for me yeah was unbelievable mysterious and dangerous music yeah i love it dude i love it and it's it's like like you said it changes yeah dude every album's different and this new album's fucking awesome that is yeah so wait arizona so like c's in high school uh close c pluses b minuses i i if i could do it over again i'd go to arizona i i don Arizona. I don't think you would.
No, Arizona State, when I've been to those campuses and I'm like, why does anyone go anywhere else? Now, here's the thing. I went to Arizona and I would go to Arizona State and be like, oh, this is crazy.
Yeah, it is crazy. You guys are having like blowout pool parties on a Wednesday.
Like Arizona Thursday nights were fun. Saturday nights were, I wasn't, I didn't have any money.
I was dead broke. I wasn't in a frat.
So for me, Arizona wasn't that fun. I would go, I worked at a radio station and I did standup.
So that is where I would hang out with the people of Tucson. Right.
And U of A was like, oh yeah, I'll go to a game if I can get tickets. Yeah.
But it wasn't like i think wisconsin is like that classic college it is five bucks for a cup and you're in a house party yeah because i used to go hang out you know being from colorado i'd go to see you with my friends older brothers and stuff and that was like boulders awesome boulders like if i could do it all over again i would have gone to austin i would have worked hard and got into texas that's a hard school to get into though but it's very hard it's so fun it's austin i mean dude you got the sports it's like a cool music town yeah it's got a lot going for yeah i would have gone to lsu i think i had a bunch of friends that went to lsu i would go there for my spring break mark norman went there and i asked him about it all the time and he's like it was crazy you know it. You get a spring break, you also get a full week off for Mardi Gras.
Yeah. Yeah.
No school, no class. Just go party.
Dude, we, speaking of Arizona, when I was a senior, 05, we were in the Elite Eight against Illinois, right? Yeah, that's a famous game. Right here in Rosemont.
Yeah, well, we were like, everyone's like, you know if they go to the Final Four, we get Monday off. And everyone's like like we get monday off so people start planning these like sunday parties because our team that year was fucking unbelievable yeah i mean we had uh salim channing fry igudala hassan adams we had ballers and so we're like dude we're about to go to the final four and get monday off we're up something like 15 with like yeah two minutes left yeah and then d brown then D Brown and Deron Williams.
One of the craziest tournament games ever. You know how I knew we were fucked? They kept showing Bill Murray.
Bill Murray. Yep.
And I was like stop doing that. Yeah.
I love Bill Murray. Yeah.
Stop doing that. And he had the Illinois eye on and stop doing that.
Yeah. And then they came back and beat us in overtime and that was one of the worst feelings of being like.
Yeah. Okay.
Well that's it. that's it it was our senior year you're like that's it huh fuck just in a second we got class on monday yeah class on monday everyone and i think everyone like drank on sundays at a protest yeah all right all right disobedience yeah we're still gonna party like we won yeah then we're gonna get the you know hung over on monday uh before we let you out here, I have to ask you to do a little bit of woke Rodney Dangerfield.
Oh, woke Rodney Dangerfield? Because it's my favorite thing that you do. Yeah.
He's like, I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? Women of color. I'm telling you.
The only Rodney joke I ever wrote that sounded like that was when I was like, hey, they say gender's fluid. If that's the case, I'm in love with a puddle.
I was like, I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? The Native Americans. It's all their land.
You're just saying stuff. Generational trauma.
It's real. Rodney was so fucking funny.
Do you think he was like that when he was not on stage? Like, same bravado? No, I heard he was like very low key. If you want to watch a great, there's a Carson where Rodney's just like fucking killing.
And Carson's like sweating, laughing. And Rodney goes, I got a lot of jokes.
He just keeps going in. You know my doctor, Dr.
Vinny Boombats. Well, now I was doing like, I was doing Rodney doing basic bitch comedy.
You know, he's like, hey, boys are weird. I'm telling you, they'll watch your stories, but they won't text you back.
Yeah, man, Rodney was the fucking man, dude. I love that guy.
And he just used to smoke bats. He'd just wear a linen robe and smoke fucking huge joints.
Yeah, legend. That Eddie Murphy story where he saw Eddie Murphy at the comic strip in Florida and he's like, kid, you're cussing too much.
And then Eddie Murphy blew up and they're at an awards ceremony in Vegas and Rodney's pissing and Eddie Murphy comes and stands next to him and he goes, hey, I was wrong. He admits he fucked up and he goes, who knew? I think he said something like that.
He's like, dude, that's all right i have one last question roback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k dot com promo code take uh 20 off first purchase q-zips polos hoodies joggers shorts roback.com promo code take this has been awesome everyone go watch the the uh special it is very very funny also perfect length yeah i pulled it up this morning and i was like 40 minutes fuck yes't going to make you sit there. Yeah, like it's the dumbest thing we do with our brains where we're like, it's a two-hour movie.
Dude, when I see it. I don't want to watch this.
Then you just watch like four episodes. I'm watching this Netflix show that was on Cinemax called Warrior.
It's kind of like a Kung Fu show. 45 minutes.
I'm in for the episode. But it's so dumb because you would literally sit and watch a three-hour football game.

Yeah, and want more.

Yeah, but I need more.

I see the colors of the flower moon,

and I'm like, I don't have time.

Yeah, it's like, I don't want to.

I'm a busy man.

And it's Scorsese's masterpiece.

You're like, I don't know.

Shorten it, Marty.

All right, so you're a huge wrestling fan.

I was a huge, huge wrestling fan growing up.

I think I'm waiting for my kids to, I hope my son, I have two sons. They'll get into it for a little bit.
Yeah, and I want to get back into it then. But I read a story that you had a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin in the works.
Yeah, actually, because of Barstool. Really? We caught some shit with the CFO, Nick Khan.
Oh. So he was like, we talked about it on KFC, and then Barstool like tweeted it out and it i mean we're still in development we still have it but uh we wrote a show with stone cold steve austin me and dan saint germain wrote a an animated which by the way the script is fucking phenomenal and they have it peacock has it we're waiting to get a pilot let's do it so wait are we screwing it up again no i think we pushing him.
Yeah, we're pushing him. I kind of want to push it because it's very funny.
It's about Steve working at a black law firm, and it's called Stone Cold Law, and it's like Steve's a lawyer, like trying to help out the little man in Texas. I love that.
It's very fun. Make it happen.
It's weird. It's just a weird, funny show where we wrote a great pilot and we're just waiting for them.
We just want to get in the booth with Steve. Yeah.
We just want to be able to Steve, for Steve to read some of our jokes because he rules. Yeah.
Oh, he's the best. Dude, we've had phone calls with him and he's the man.
We haven't talked to him in a couple of years. This thing's been going on for four years.
All right. So we got to get it going.
Dude, I'm telling you, Stone Cold Law, if we could get a season of that, I guarantee we would make a fucking banger of a show. So let's fucking go.
If Peacock gave us a full season, I have no doubt it would be great. Yeah.
What are we doing? I don't know. That's a no-brainer.
Yeah. I mean, he's my favorite wrestler of all time.
I actually was, like, probably the coolest thing I got to do was they asked me to be in the documentary. I had like one line.
Yeah. I was in the Macho Man one.
Yeah. And they were like, yeah, I probably like Stone Cold Stunned 400 people back in like 1999.
When we sold the show originally, there was nothing cooler than my phone ringing and looking down and being like, oh, Stone Cold Steve Austin's calling. Yeah.
And it's just in my phone is Steve austin he'd be like hey what's going on brother yeah like you pick up and he's like what are you guys doing yeah i was on the phone with him around christmas at my mom's house and i got off the phone my mom was like you're beaming like you're 12 yes dude it's he has that orb he came into the office like i mean like five six years ago and he's like i like your shirt and i just was like here you can have it i took off and he's like no i don't want it yeah man i didn't think we're gonna do that yeah he rules dude he's like the he's the coolest and and i really really hope we get an opportunity to like actually make something yeah because like now we're using that script for other projects to be like here's what we wrote in the animated space that's how proud we are of that script so i hope they let us make it at least like let us animate come on dude we had we gotta push him we had one of the guys from archer that wanted to do the animation and it was like dude it was a home run it would be awesome peacock i will watch every episode a thousand times yeah dude i would just keep it on in in my house silly it's weird it's like you know what i mean it's not like poignant it's just like a real fun let's throw shit at the wall and see whatever weird jokes i love it who's your favorite uh tag team vault of all time legion of doom okay i mean legion of the road warriors were like unbelievable yeah and they were just like those promos you can go back and watch them yeah they're great but i also i mean i'm such a mark that i can go i can talk about this shit yeah i mean i was a huge dx guy yeah dx was unbelievable and when it was x-pac and kane that was my favorite i saw a great tweet where they were like if you think about it the rock is the biggest star in hollywood dx took over the wwe because sean michaels and triple h and they did like in stone colds off on a ranch drinking beer. Yeah.
It was the perfect long form storytelling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

X-Pac when he would just like get you up against the ropes and just start sitting on your face.

Yeah.

Oh, Bronco Buster.

Yeah.

I'm going to tell you right now, Sean Waltman's the fucking man.

Yeah.

That guy was in NWO.

That guy was in DX.

And he's cool as hell.

I believe it.

Yeah.

He's like one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.

Yeah.

I'm like excited to get back into wrestling.

Dude.

And I'm telling you right now, Triple H is fucking cooking. Yeah.
They are. I know.
I saw the videos. It's unbelievable.
I saw this one video of this kid crying after WrestleMania being like, they did it. They all came out and helped him.
I was like, God damn it. That's what I want.
Dude, I'm telling you, man, this is as a wrestling fan, the WWE has never been better. It's so fun right now.
I get hyped. I was watching SmackDown in the green room of Omaha, and they're like, you're about to go up.
I'm like, da-da-da-da-da. Toma Toma just showed up.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Bloodline shit.
Give me a second. Dude, I'm putting my ones in the air.
Acknowledge me. What a cool thing.
Roman Reigns rules. It's the best.
Yeah. All right, well, Dan, thank you so much.
Anytime you're in Chicago, we'd love to have you come by. Yeah, absolutely, man.
I'm excited. Maybe football.
Yeah, come watch football with us. I would fucking love to.
We're trying to get Stavi to come do it. I would do that with Stavi.
Stavi's the man. Dude, we had him on after the Ravens lost.
I think we were the first people he talked to and it was bad. One of the biggest smiles on my face was seeing when the Ravens started fucking with Stavi.
I know. I like, that rules.
And you saw the look every time you do a video before the game. Ronnie? Yeah, Ronnie.
He'd be on the main account, and he'd stop because he wanted to go to that dark Ronnie place. Yeah.
Wait, this is the name. Yeah, I got my fucking daughter up in fucking Child Protective Services.
Yeah, dude. It's a nerf the Ronnie takes.
Nerf the Ronnie takes. It's hilarious.
He's like, I can't say that right now. Because I'm with a pretty known organization.
But yeah, we got to do it. I mean, that is like the best part of our job is that we walk in here at 11 a.m.
Dude, you guys are like a successful foot clan. Yeah.
Like when I used to go down on the half ramp, you're like, oh, this is awesome. Yeah, we just sit and we sit on the couch for 12 hours and watch every game.
Unbelievable. Yeah, it's like, This is our life.
Yeah, that really is. We'd love to have

you come sometime. Hell yeah, absolutely.

Alright, well thanks so much. Everyone go check it out.

It's an incredible special. Thanks man.
Dan Soder, thanks

so much. Yeah.

Welcome back to another

Fire Fest of the Week brought to you by our friends

at Morgan & Morgan. You know

what really sucks? I guess

maybe falling asleep and not

making out to a podcast. That sucks.

You know what all sucks? Wrapping your car around

a telephone pole in the parking lot. There's a lot of

Thank you. really sucks i guess uh maybe falling asleep and not making out to podcast that sucks you know what all sucks wrapping your car around a telephone pole in the parking lot there's a lot of things that suck can i throw one in what else sucks losing his 14 point favorites at home losing as 14 point favorites at home absolutely sucks you know what doesn't suck probably what happened to the sixers earlier today where they definitely probably won congrats to the sixers congrats i I need them to win really bad.
Probably. I said probably congrats on the must-win win.
I'm sure you won. You know what else really sucks is getting injured.
You know what doesn't suck? Calling Morgan and Morgan so they can help you get what you deserve. Well, they can't help any of that other stuff that we talked about.
They can help fight to get you full and fair compensation when you are injured. fee is free unless they win for more information go to for the people.com slash pmt or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone okay let's wrap up the show we got fire fest of the week uh henry yes give us your fire fest of the week okay uh-oh is it bad i'm gone back and forth because i've gotten some second opinions and i might be overreacting uh-oh how many second opinions have you gotten a lot i've asked that would be a third or fourth i've had yeah seven probably seven-ish opinions okay so here's eight and nine i uh was in the editing editing lab working on the documentary which should be which should be out now.
It came out Thursday night. Hell yes.
Hell yes. Wait, can I just butt in real quick? Sure.
So the Dunkumentary is a documentary that you're making about you training and being able to dunk. My quest.
Is this one of those things? On my journey to dunk. My question is, you just started and you haven't dunked yet.
So the Dunkumentary is coming out now? it's a it's a progress there's there's multiple episodes this is basically a baseline it's it's it's really for the haters i'm i've set it up i mean it's it's true you mean the haters to be right the haters have been on a heater yeah the haters yeah the haters are gonna have a field day with this episode probably we basically did you know we had a trainer come in got a baseline of what my vertical leap is where i'm at and where i need to get to um and then the following episodes will hopefully be showing progress progress progress until i'm above the rim and dunking how many episodes of the dunkumentary are there and also did you do this because someone said to you dunkumentary and you're like fuck i have to make this now no it was it was reverse it was it was it was the videos you know we have to figure out a video of me training to dunk and pft said the documentary which is a great name um but in that footage there's how many episodes are there going to be there's going to be three hopefully that's it that's all you need is three episodes episode one when you were getting your baseline did you make sure to make it so you didn't really try that hard in episode 1 so it looks like you make a lot of progress? I would like to say yes, I did try hard. It's going to look like it's still going to be, if you're watching, a long way away.
Okay. Is there a chance the Dunkumentary ever gets taken off air? Why would it? Someone just realizes they can't dunk.
No. Okay.
No. Listen, I'm in it.
The bet's out there. It's 20K.
It would be funny if you just got a Hank Doppelganger with insane hops to finish the dunkumentary. Yeah.
We're going to all lengths. We're going to go to all lengths.
I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm going to be able to do it.
I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think i'm going to but i i welcome that i don't think we're being haters i think we're being realisticers yeah also you don't when you say that sentence you that's redundant well you could put us in with the haters true the haters and you guys makes it seem like we're not haters we are i just want that clear all right fair yeah i think you agree i think we're just a much needed dose of reality there are some times where we just hate for sure. I think want that clear.
All right, fair. Yeah.
Wouldn't you agree? I think we're just a much-needed dose of reality. There are some times where we just hate, for sure.
I think in this case, we're showing Hank tough love because we don't want him to get his little heart broken when he's not able to do it. Or his ACL or something like that.
Yeah. That's the only way that's going to stop me is injury.
That's the only way you're not going to dunk? Yeah. Is injury? Yeah.
Okay. I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good.
if you pulled a lebron and faked an injury no we'll see episode two i mean again episode one

go watch it let me know what you think probably not the best because it was the first day it's

the baseline it's it's the beginning stages and then hopefully as the episodes go people are

going to start to believe and then i make it happen so hank told me that he was training at

a trampoline gym a couple weeks ago and i thought for a second that he was just like dunking like

yeah it turns out he's training in a building that's shared by it so he's not actually using trampolines to dunk but that made us think like maybe maybe he should be using trampolines yeah so he can like he can get the confidence in himself and know that he's able to dunk and know what it feels like this is all relevant to my fire okay go on. In the footage, you know, there's some training footage where I was super sweaty and I saw a shot and above my head shot where I was bent down.
Oh, no. And there was a huge spot.
Yeah. Can I see? So then I've been getting that.
I got mad at everyone being like, how could you not tell me? How could you not tell me? And they're like, it's not the case. Can I see? Let's see.
Bend down further. I think it's going to be bald.
It's the start. You are going to be bald.
But, Hank, it's okay for now. What you saw is actually it's the same camera angle that coaches get on the sidelines all the time, especially in college football.
You can spot a college coach going bald

10 years before it actually happens.

Yeah, no, you're good right now.

You're good for now.

You're good for a couple years.

But if you wanted to,

maybe we could take a flight over to Turkey together.

I'm going to start trying to do some preemptive.

There's people that have things that I can do now

to maybe try and prevent this from happening.

I'm probably going to stop wearing a hat as much.

It was scary.

I just sat there and stared for like 30 minutes okay what about your mom's father had a hair i'm not sure he was not you know he passed away before i was born i can find out but i don't text yeah that's that's it right there that's that's the genes yeah how it works but i i have the exact same hair as I look exactly like my dad. Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
And me and my dad and my uncles all have the same style of hair. Make the text.
Send the text. Ask if Pop Pop had a head of hair before he died.
My Pop Pop was a cue ball from the top. I'm actually pretty sure he did.
Oh, no. That's bad, Hank.
Yeah. But you you will be bald the good news is that you can do something about it if you do if you take like the the finsteride drops and you take the minoxidil or whatever i'm acting like oh maybe that's the name of it i'm just trying to guess uh for a guy like you you can you can make that runway like six seven years if you want yeah i'm gonna start i'm gonna do everything i'm gonna do some research to everything i can i did read a study it was i read a study i can't be bald i'm already yeah i read a study that said that it's directly related like if you have uh facial hair it increases your balding because all your like hair follicles are going to your face so you should probably just shave your beard yeah no it's science it's it's true all the chemicals are it's your body's just using all of its energy for your chin yeah you you need to you need to redirect think about this well if the celtics won the championship i am going to shave my head so maybe i'll get a taste of what that looks like okay so let's go back to the beard shaving because you know you could just shave it i'm not doing that and then leave it bald i probably won't be doing that either unless it's i get overwhelmingly positive responses which i don't think i'll i'll be positive you're a hater you already said you're a hater yeah i am well on some things not all things i don't want you to go bald actually that was a lie i do no i don't i absolutely do i really want you to go once you get a taste of it you don't you don't want that on anybody else no yeah yeah you know well i don't want you to go bald i mean it's happening it's a big difference that's why i'm trying to i'm trying to i'm rooting for you trying to recruit hank to to get something done about it i'm down to go to turkey like that would be a fun we could also we could just maybe hit up urlacher what if i go with you guys get a brazilian butt lift that'd be said to sit down.
Yeah. No, yeah.
You got to take the plane back. Yeah.
You got to sit down like face first in the seat on the way back. Just get glowed up.
That would be sick if we just got a shitload of plastic surgery. Get our jaws chiseled.
Oh, yeah. Get some pec implants.
Okay. All right.
New us. All right, PFT, your fire first.
I don't think that's a fire first yet. No, it is.
It is. Seeing that for the first time.
Everyone that I've talked to said it's not. I want him to go bald.
Do you fucking shut up? It is. You're fine, Hank.
Just keep living your life how you're living it. No hats.
Don't even worry about it. No hats.
Yeah. No cap.
It's a future you problem. That will never happen.
I don't buy the whole not wearing a baseball hat thing. Do you think it's the steroids you're taking to try to dunk? I have not got to that point yet.
That would be a fall thing. A great admission there.
Wait, Hank, you might have to stop golfing as much then if you're not wearing hats. Maybe you've golfed so much that you've worn so many hats that it's rubbed your hair off.
I've just always been a hat guy. Yeah, no more.
No more. Okay.
All right. My Firefest of the week, I get a couple.

Blake just turned one, so now I'm feeling old and nostalgic and I'm looking at puppy pictures and being like,

oh, damn, I really miss my puppy.

I wish I had a puppy again.

That's always sad, seeing your dog grow older.

Obviously, he's not old at all.

Yeah, he's one.

He's one, but you miss the puppy.

I did like your Instagram post.

I don't know if you did it intentionally or maybe had a moment of weakness,

but you did like the journalist having a baby baby being like new addition to the roster thinking about giving him a new second year contract second year contract yeah i don't know if it was a moment of weakness or was it was i was thinking like what would what would like field yates yeah right about about the birthday of his child so yeah intentionally do that actually blake's dealing injury issues right now, so we're going to wait for his health reports to come back. And then there might be injury concerns, so we're holding on.
Yeah, you've got to check the medicals. Check the medicals first on him.
He'll be fine. He'll actually be fine long term.
Not worried about it. My real Fyre Fest of the Week, though, is so I'm having a party at my house for the Kentucky Derby, and I sent an invite to the part of my take group chat last night silence I replied silence from the group chat I replied about the other thing about the other thing I think I was connected to yeah so that counts as a reply so we have one else replied we have like an unspoken bond usually on this show where we'll invite each other to do things I know that big cat's gonna be busy doing family stuff on weekends but I'm still gonna i might try to pop i'm still gonna invite you to pop by yeah uh and if he is a kids friendly yeah kid friendly okay i might try to pop by okay but utter silence in the replies and then then i stared at my phone for like two minutes afterwards like there's got i can't see dots because it's a group chat and no replies and typing right and if you guys don't want to come

get hammered with me on saturday i understand our pod what'd you say i'm off the sauce oh oh did you just reply right now yeah okay you just replied right now hank's off the sauce so nobody wants to get drunk with me on saturday regrettably um but that's fine i'll try to defend everyone here. Maybe like that.

Usually we're like a week of kind of guys.

Yeah.

We got a whole other weekend before.

So maybe that was what happened.

Again, I did reply to the connected.

The connected thing.

Yeah.

Along with it.

Which is counted as a reply.

That's fine.

I guess I'm the only guy that likes to get drunk on this podcast.

It's sad.

It's sad what it's been.

I am.

I actually was thinking about it this morning that I'm going to try to stop by.

I just got to figure out which kid can handle it.

Yeah.

Can my parents come?

Sure.

Do they have hair?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, bring them by.

Yeah, we'll check out your dad's hair.

Maybe we will.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, that's my fault.

Jake, Max, and memes are still utterly silent.

I like beers. Okay.
So why didn't you reply? It's not at PFTs. I just missed that text.
Missed it. Got it.
I missed it, but I'm in for some beers. That's fine.
There's a lot of other people coming. If you don't want to come, you don't have to.
Don't shame me into this. I've gotten beers with you before.
You have gotten beers with me. So has memes.
Memes is. I actually love getting drunk with memes.
No, you don't. You hate it.
No, I hate taking mushrooms with memes. Yeah, okay, okay.
That's the worst. Getting drunk with memes is the best because he'll just sit there and he'll smile and he'll look at you.
Just be memes. I just, in my darkest 30 seconds after I sent that out and nothing came back, I was like, there's definitely a side chat where they're like, so we're all not going to PFT's house for this party, right? Okay.
Again, I did. I'm not going to lie.
I still don't know. I went back to try and look for this text.
I don't remember this text. I thought I answered.
What time? Memes thought he answered. Yeah, I answered.
This is the first I've heard of this. I have a bachelor party.
It might be next week or the weekend after. What? I might have a bachelor party too, actually.
You don't know when it is? It's one of the weekends of May. Yeah, wait.
Which weekend is this again? Next weekend. Oh, no.
I have a wedding. Okay.
I do have a wedding. I do have a wedding.
I'm going to try to come. That's fine.
It's going to be a hell of a party. Yeah.
I'll maybe try to dress up one of my kids. Would it be offensive to dress him up like a jockey? As a horse? No.
I would be the jockey i'd be the horse okay yeah right or get a horse size difference one's the front one's the back we could do that that'd be good to come up with something very fun um all right my fire fest uh well i've two they're connected it's similar to the passing of time pft uh it's it's gonna be may this actually after actually after you sent that text. It's like, oh, fuck, it's going to be May.
It's Justin Timberlake. It's going to be May.
Or Hank. We already taped the draft.
We're going to be 40 really soon. Yeah.
Yeah, it's true. This year is flying by.
It's true. This is the last year that we have to get in shape.
Yeah, this is just a check-in. This is a check-in.
We won't worry about it until maybe the fall, but it popped in my head, and I was like, shit. Yeah.
Do you have a list of things you want to do before you're 40? We should make a list. Yeah, we should make a list.
Let's do a bucket list this summer. Get hair implants.
Shave Hank's beard. Yeah, that's on there.
Yep. Why are you so obsessed with my beard? Why are you so obsessed with your beard You know why I'm so obsessed Hank would you rather Would you rather go completely bald Or never be able to grow facial hair again Because I know my answer Bald I really want Max to go I saw a picture of Max with the soul patch I want to go back to that so bad It mean just the look it's so fucking good never again literally never popped max wearing a hat at softball is a strange visual oh yeah yeah max you say that you say that you'd rather go bald as a guy that's got a full head of hair that will probably never go bald so you you saying it doesn't really mean that much but it's i still mean it yeah i don't know yeah um Fyre Fest is kind of related to it, passing of time.
But we talked about Caleb Williams and the draft at the beginning of the show and how excited I am. I taped a video interviewing my son today being like, you don't know how awesome everything's going to be.
And that video could be bad in like 10 years or five years. You could really be setting him up for failure could be sick imagine if caleb wins five super bowls and i'm like hey look i have the video of the day he got drafted yeah of us talking about it yeah he's always going to have that to look back on he's going to blame you yeah for getting him excited ahead of myself what no it's fine everything's going to be so good for me and me and you.
I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's a player that he reminds me of.
Prince? A little bit of a diva off the court. Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life.
A can't-miss prospect. Travis Kelsey? No doubt number one.
Travis Kelsey? Ben Simmons. Oh, no.
Ben Simmons was the next LeBron. If Caleb Williams couldn't throw the ball, then yeah, that would be a direct correlation.
Ben Simmons was a can't-miss prospect. No, no.
USC would have gone to the tournament if it was a 64-team tournament. Ben Simmons did not.
That's fact or fiction. Ben Simmons did not make March Madness.
Caleb Williams did not make the Final Four.

Both teams missed the playoffs.

No, if there was expanded playoffs, he would have made the playoffs

his first year at USC.

That's a fact.

But he did it.

But that's because the playoffs were just four teams, you idiot.

You see what I'm saying?

March Madness could have been four teams, could have been 64 teams,

could have been 75 teams. Ben Simmons would have made it.
Okay. What was that look to memes? This is fine.
What was that look to memes? I'm just saying, like, Ben Simmons. Think about it.
Think about Ben Simmons. I thought about it, and it bothers me.
Okay? If I'm being honest with you, it bothered me very much. Max, you're wearing your scars too deep, though.
Not everyone's Philly.

No, yeah.

I just remember, like, the Sixers were so bad, and then it was like Ben Simmons is coming.

And I was like, Ben Simmons is going to be our Lord and Savior.

And he's kind of...

Cut his mic.

Did you just cut your own mic?

No, I mean, I'm being honest with you, Max.

If I thought it was a bad take, I wouldn't be bothered, but I'm bothered. So it's not the worst take.
I do like the Prince comparison, though. Yeah, because Prince was awesome.
I was like, Prince is one of the greatest songwriters of all time. It's like, oh, yeah, he's Prince in quarterback form.
Okay, sign me up. Pretty much just saying he's feminine.
Yeah.

Okay.

Let's finish the show with numbers. We have special guests, Patrick and Michaela,

in the booth because they won the

Coors Light. What'd you guys win?

We won

a chance to

watch taping with you guys. Okay.

But would you remember the contest?

I got a Facebook or an Instagram ad. I signed up one time.
Someone reached out, asked for my social security number. I thought I was getting this ad.
I love it. Alright, so this is good though.
Proves that when we run these contests we actually do have winners. So, Patrick and Michaela, thank you for being here.
You guys, numbers, I'll let you guys start. 26.
26. Michaela? Pick a number.
You can pick a number. Any number.
17. Oh, okay.
40. How many for you, Hank? 20.
Three. 20.
I wish they had picked 20. I'll go 13 for Caleb Williams.
We should have texted him and been like, hey, pick 20. That was fine.
Okay. Where's Pug? No Pug? Pug's at his desk.
All right. okay where's pug no pug pug's at his desk

he's in his crate he's already won 13 for kaleb patrick you have what 26 mikhail has 17 Oh!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Shut up, you're mad. Are you mad? I'm not mad.
I'm mad. You're mad, because Max, you said that you'd get it before me.
Remember when you said you'd get it before me? I'm cold, I'm cold. And I got it before you.
20 might not be in there. You fucking piece of shit.
20 might not be in there. That's the second time I got it.
Sad Max took away my first time, and then he led me to this glorious moment on Caleb Williams draft day. 13 comes up.
That's huge. Congrats.
That's a huge. He's going to win a million Super Bowls.
Are you at all concerned with the fact that you hit it on the most unlucky number of all time? No. No, 13's a lucky number.
13's a fucking great number. I just, listen pft hank you guys i have no i have no beef with you guys here uh i understand the stunt this fucking fat fuck behind the glass who took away my first number because he's such a fucking baby and that was my baby loser that was me and what other people were saying.
I said, I will get the number before you do.

And what did I do?

What did I do, Max?

You got it.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Congrats.

Congrats on 13.

I mean, Caleb Williams.

I mean, that's the greatest sign of all time.

That's the greatest sign of all time.

It was 76 when we did one with the Mr. Per live picks this morning.

It doesn't count.

So what is that?

Wait, you did it.

It's good vibes for the Sixers tonight.

Did it get a good practice?

It's good vibes for the Sixers tonight.

Did an extra ball?

No.

We do one for the Mr. Per live streams.

Wait, so who?

You should call it the Paralympics. Who has gotten it? Hank? Me? Me? Pug, boys? Jake? Shane? Is it just me and memes? Max? I have not either.
Max, have you ever gotten the number? No. Why don't you ask PFT? I was just asking you.
Max, have you ever gotten the number? PFT? No. Just answer the question.
Max, have you ever gotten this? No. Hank, do you want to ask him i don't feel like why are you just asking me this is not how this goes yeah this is how it goes pft is gonna get it before you too yeah yeah no you're not allowed to just signal me out max max you have to understand the way this narrative is going right now i'm definitely gonna get it before yes you know percent i don't think 20 is in there i gotta check yeah yeah that's the first you're never gonna get it this.
I got to check. Yeah, that's loser talk.

You're never going to get it.

This is exactly what Hank used to do.

That's loser talk.

He used to be like, oh, that number's not in there.

Memes hasn't gotten it in either city yet.

Who cares?

Ask the question.

You've gotten it, Max.

I got it in New York.

No, no, no.

You asked the question. Have you ever gotten it here? No you sure? no yeah that's the answer Hank I mean you're not even asking PFT he's gonna get it he's gonna get it I'm not worried about it for a fact I'm gonna get it but I'm worried like what if I don't get it but I'm gonna get it I'm sorry I reacted it would suck if I didn't but I'm definitely gonna get it before you I'm sorry I reacted that way it was really 100% directed, but I'm definitely going to get it before you.
I'm sorry I reacted that way. It was really 100% directed at Max.
Just so you, PFT, and Hank understand, that was not the bow to me. It was to Max because we can play back the tape when he said he's going to get it before me.
And I said, no way. I'm going to do it the hard way.
And what'd I do? Fucking Caleb Williams. What'd I do, Max? You got it.
I already told you you got it. And have you gotten it? No.
Thank got it i already told you you got it have you gotten it no thank you i already told you you got it thank you i was we're just going in circles here yeah i know i could do it forever i'm actually gonna we're gonna i would like to max i have a meeting with you after we need to talk bft love you guys say wait wait wait wait we have a meeting you guys have a meeting in a and I'll let you guys get your meeting. Yeah.
But before I say it, I just want to do an accounting of everybody in this room. Hank, you did get it.
I did get it. I was the first to get it.
Okay. You're not allowed to do this.
No, I'm updating my – don't tell me that I'm not allowed to do this. He's allowed to do whatever he wants.
Jake's not here. He's got to update the list.
I'm putting it into the spreadsheet right now. Jake has got it.
Okay, thank you. I was going to ask about that.
Jake got it. Hank, you said that you have.
I have. Big Cat, you have.
I have with Caleb Williams' number. You got it with Caleb Williams' number.
Okay. Pug, have you gotten it? Yes, Pug.
Shane, have you gotten this? Shane got it. Max, have you gotten this? Nope.
Oh, so he's the only one. I typed in yes.
He's the only one. I thought you had.
Damn. This isn't true.
This doesn't work when you lie. Again, PFT will get it.
That's not how this works. Yes, it is.
Max, ask me if I've got it. PFT, have you got it? Not yet.
No. I'm about to.
Yeah, Max. No, Max, you said no nine times.
You want to do this again, Max? You want to do this again? No. Because I've already done it once with you.
I told you I'd get it before you, and what happened? I got it.

All right, so here's another one.

PFT is going to get it before you.

We'll see.

Guaranteed.

We'll see.

Guaranteed.

We'll see.

I don't know about memes, though.

No, memes doesn't count.

I've already vowed to never get it.

Yeah, memes doesn't count.

It's going to be a Matt.

Someone's going to have to fire up the Twitter account.

Maybe repurpose the Hank.

Has Hank gotten it?

Has Max gotten it?

There's three people in here who haven't gotten it. PFT will get it.
I know. What about memes? This guy right here, my dear friend, longtime co-host, is one of the hardest working guys I know.
He will get it. That's what he does.
I'm also not a loser anymore. Exactly.
So things have changed. He's probably going to get it on Sunday night.
Yeah, I'm not a loser, okay? We're winners. We're not losers.
On this side of the glass, we're fucking winners now. Everything about our lives is going to switch up in terms of a winning mentality, which you sadly do not understand.
Take your Ben Simmons shit and shove it up your ass. Yeah, everybody reminds Max of a player that ended up not being as good as he thought.
When you're a hammer, the entire world's a nail.

Love you guys.

Patrick and Michaela, did you enjoy that?

I don't know what to say.

I'll say it anyway.

Today is my day to find you shying away.

I'll be coming for your love, okay? I'll be coming for your love, okay? I'll be coming for your love, okay?

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me

Take me on

Take on me

I'll be gone

Take me on I'm sorry. It's better to be safe than sorry It's better to be safe than sorry It's better to be safe than sorry

Take on me

Take on me

Take me up

Take on me

I'll be on me

Take on me

Take me out

I'll be gone