NFL Draft And The Whole Podcast Has New QB's, NBA/NHL Playoffs + Comedian Dan Soder In Studio

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 3 Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 1 So that means a half day.

Speaker 2 Yeah, give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 4 Upfront payment for $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow under 35 gigabytes.

Speaker 1 Today is part of my take.

Speaker 1 The 2024 NFL draft. We're going to talk about a wild first round, our new quarterbacks, the Michael Pennix to Falcons decision.

Speaker 1 We also have some NBA and NHL playoffs to get to. Had some big, big games on Wednesday and Thursday.
We have an awesome interview with Dan Soder. Incredible interview.
Came into the studio.

Speaker 1 Very, very funny guy. Talk some sports with him.
And then we will finish with Firefest and the lottery ball.

Speaker 5 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry.
We got you.

Speaker 5 Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code new Aldi25. Orders $30 or more.
Save up to $25 and it's 1231. See out for details.

Speaker 1 Okay, Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love the solid work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take

Speaker 1 It's part of my take, presented by Marshal Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Download the new DraftKings Pick 6 app now and get started with Code Take.

Speaker 1 New customers can get up to $200 back in Pick 6 credits if your first pick set loses only on Pick 6 from DraftKings with Code Take. The crown is yours.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, April April 26th, and you're listening to a podcast full of winners. I'm a winner now.
We are winners.

Speaker 6 Everything about me is different right now. The old me, the loser me, off a cliff with that guy.
This new guy, this new guy doesn't take shit. He has a winning mentality.
Yes.

Speaker 6 I was saying earlier, if I'm at a restaurant and the waiter brings out the wrong dish, guess what? I'm going to say, excuse me, sir, I didn't order this. Can I have the dish that I ordered? Yes.

Speaker 6 No more just accepting stuff. No more waving people in in traffic.
We have quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 We have quarterbacks. It's rare to have a moment in time that you can point to and be like, bam, that's where my whole life changed.
That's where everything changed for the better.

Speaker 1 And PFT, different guys. We are different guys.
We are winners. Now, the only question I have

Speaker 1 is: there's three of us sitting in this room. Caleb Williams to the Bears, Jaden Daniels to the Commanders, Drake May to the Patriots.
You and I are very excited.

Speaker 6 Super excited.

Speaker 1 Will you join us, Hank, in being winners? Because you are not as excited.

Speaker 1 It's a long way to go.

Speaker 2 To win a Super Bowl, you got to be more than just a QB. You got to be a complete team.
The Patriots, despite getting a great quarterback, are still

Speaker 2 four and a half is their over-under win total.

Speaker 1 Is he a great quarterback? Do you think he is a great quarterback?

Speaker 6 Because you did your list of quarterbacks last week.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's a top five quarterback on my list. I like Drake May.

Speaker 1 I don't know why you're so down on him.

Speaker 2 I'm not down on him. I just, you know.

Speaker 1 You're down on him. Yeah, you are.
You're down on him.

Speaker 2 Like my cat or people that I listen to for my Patriots, you know, sourcing and knowledge. Julian Edelman, recurring guest of the show, one of the smartest dudes on earth.

Speaker 1 Facts. That's a fact.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Bill Belichick both didn't have the highest praise or, you know, seemed to like give me a lot of excitement for Drake May.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I get that. I understand that, but you got to be excited.
This is, I know, you're still too new at being a loser to understand what you just did tonight.

Speaker 2 I haven't accepted being a loser.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're a loser. I know, but like I don't.

Speaker 1 You guys.

Speaker 1 I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 2 So you guys sound like getting excited for this excited for draft night is loser.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Welcome, buddy.
Yep.

Speaker 2 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not that excited.

Speaker 1 But you know what? I can't do it. Hey, go back, watch Drake May highlights tonight.

Speaker 6 I'm going to spend all night, all day tomorrow.

Speaker 1 He's throwing a yoga ball. Oh, see, he's so negative.
All weekend.

Speaker 1 I like Drake May.

Speaker 6 I'm going to be watching Jaden Daniels all weekend long. I'm going to be watching him all summer long.

Speaker 6 I'm going to be zooming in on his elbow, and I'm going to be like, look how cool that elbow looks. Nobody else on planet Earth has an elbow like that.
That's awesome. I'm going to be so pumped.

Speaker 6 I'm going to be watching all the games from last year, reliving the Heisman campaign. Big K, you have a Heisman too.

Speaker 1 I have a Heisman.

Speaker 6 Has a Heisman too. So,

Speaker 6 Hank was very upset.

Speaker 6 He's shown me a couple very mean memes.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's doing nasty work on Twitter right now, retweeting me, saying I like Drake May. I do like Drake May.
Also, it's called a smokescreen. I never said Drake May was bad.

Speaker 2 Memes are meant to be shared. I laughed at a meme.
It was a picture of the 2003 NBA draft with LeBron, Darko, and then Carmelo Anthony.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 hey. Taylor Williams, Jay and Daniels, Drake May.
I laughed.

Speaker 2 PFT was sitting next to me, and I was like, oh, look, PFT.

Speaker 6 Remind me again:

Speaker 6 who won the NBA championship the very next season?

Speaker 1 The Pistons.

Speaker 6 Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 1 So Jacoby Roussette might maybe taking the Patriots to the Promised Land?

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 6 The Darko was me.

Speaker 1 Oh, you were Jarco.

Speaker 1 Oh. I was Darko.
Oh. There's one tank.
Tank was Carmelo. So you're in on Drake May then? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, it's just a funny meme. I'm in on Drake May.
I just, again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's being nasty.

Speaker 1 He's been nasty all night. Yeah, listen.
He's trying to drag us down with him. You can't do that.

Speaker 6 I mean,

Speaker 6 let's be honest. I think you can look at the draft right now.
If you're reading the grades, which we definitely are, read all the grades. I just act, that's a lie.

Speaker 6 I typed in the search function on Twitter, Commanders A, and then I read all those. So those are the graph grades that I read.
I read all of them.

Speaker 6 But the Bears, their offense is going to be completely different next year.

Speaker 1 Man, getting wrong. On paper, you know what this is?

Speaker 6 This is the ultimate test of how much the uniforms truly matter. Because on paper, it looks like they should be explosive.
Nothing like any Bears offense that we've seen in probably ever.

Speaker 1 Ever. Dude, DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, Roma Dunze, Cole Komet, DeAndre Swift, it's insane.
I don't even know.

Speaker 1 It's going to be the most foreign experience of my life watching the Bears being like, they have dudes everywhere that can beat you. I can't believe Roma Dunze.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess people were saying he was going to fall in line, but still, when it happened, I was just like,

Speaker 1 holy fuck, this is incredible. And

Speaker 1 I'll say it a million. I mean, Ryan Poles, what he did to the Panthers, I actually feel bad for the Panthers.
Like,

Speaker 1 it's gross because they posted now that it's like, well, it's actually not actually official because we still have a pick in next year's draft from the Panthers

Speaker 1 second rounder. But DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tariq Stevenson, Caleb Williams, and a 2025 second rounder, and they got Bryce Young.
Yep. Ryan Poles.
And now Romadu. David Tepper.

Speaker 1 And I love the fact that the Bears, like Ryan Poles is like, listen, we know what the history is. We know what's happened with the Bears in the past.

Speaker 1 Basically, every quarterback that's ever put on a Bears uniform has been not put in a good situation to succeed.

Speaker 1 He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds, and that's getting Roma Dunze, getting Keenan Allen a veteran receiver.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm like, I was elated all day. I was just happy all day, ear to ear.
And then I see Hank just dragging me down. Hank, you said.

Speaker 2 No, I'm excited. I'm excited for Drake May.
I'm excited for Chicago. I always say it.
I want to live in a city where teams are good. The city's excited.

Speaker 2 I'm excited for, you know, the Bears and the city.

Speaker 6 You were pumped the other day when you were talking about Drake May because you gave him the most beautiful nickname I've ever heard for a quarterback, the Mayflower.

Speaker 1 The Mayflower. We were doing some t-shirt brainstorming.

Speaker 1 We will have to figure out, it might have to be a number that we have to get on Spotify subscribers to release one of the t-shirts that we had mocked up.

Speaker 6 It's worse than the Harambe shirt.

Speaker 1 It's 10 million times worse than the Harambe shirt.

Speaker 6 It's worse than Harambe lying dead with bloody bullet holes and Sean McVay standing next to him.

Speaker 2 No, Nick Trigg is the artist. He does all the cover art and he's the best.
He's the Boston guy. He was the best.

Speaker 2 I've never felt more betrayed than what he did to me.

Speaker 1 It's a wonderful design. Maybe just everyone go hit the subscribe on Spotify because they do have those numbers now.
So just keep boosting this up. And if we get to a certain point,

Speaker 1 we might have to release this shirt. We might have to put it on sale.

Speaker 1 Let's just say it's Drake May, Hank, and a Lighthouse. That's all we'll say.
Yes, it is. You can figure out what it might look like.

Speaker 6 It's such a bad shirt for Hank that we might have to just do a charity with the shirt where it's like all the proceeds go to Hank for his therapy bills.

Speaker 6 Hank, I got.

Speaker 6 What a draft.

Speaker 1 What a draft. I'm happy.
I'm happy. I'm excited.
We should all be happy.

Speaker 6 Yeah. So I thought

Speaker 1 this is the best part of the football season.

Speaker 6 So right after Drake May got drafted, I was about to text our good friend Chris Berman and give him a boomer, but I want to give it to you instead, Hank. And you can use this one.

Speaker 1 Just say it back to us. We'll forget.

Speaker 6 Do you want option one or option two?

Speaker 2 Two. Okay.
May the odds

Speaker 2 be ever in your favor.

Speaker 6 No, no, I was going to say, Drake May up.

Speaker 1 I can't Drake up.

Speaker 1 Okay. Or one.
Let's hear one.

Speaker 6 Or Drake May up.

Speaker 1 Before you go, go.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's not bad.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 We've had better.

Speaker 6 Drake May up

Speaker 6 when September ends.

Speaker 6 Drake May up when September ends.

Speaker 2 That works.

Speaker 1 Okay. That was the best one.
That was the one. Drake May up when September ends.
Okay. That's the best one.

Speaker 2 Definitely a boomer. Drake May.

Speaker 1 I kill myself because I don't believe in my quarterback, Henry Lockwood. No, I believe in him.

Speaker 2 I believe in him.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 sure.

Speaker 1 You sound awesome.

Speaker 2 It's the organization as a whole that, you know,

Speaker 2 it's going to be different times. We're in a different era.
I just got to get used to it. That's why you also

Speaker 1 have to be able to tell me that you can't take what Belichick said after is like, yes, he was probably giving his honest opinion, but you have to believe there's a league. Edelman's was way worse.

Speaker 2 Edelman's was way worse.

Speaker 2 Way, way, way worse. I'll read it.

Speaker 1 This was so exciting. Because I agree with you.

Speaker 2 It was like, if everything's perfect around this guy, if you build the right ecosystem around this kid, he's got a chance.

Speaker 2 Lots of room to grow as a player.

Speaker 6 I think he's still.

Speaker 1 He's still

Speaker 1 a check.

Speaker 2 If he has a perfect line and great receivers, he's got a chance. And he's terrible now, but he's got room to be okay.

Speaker 6 Listen.

Speaker 2 Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Speaker 6 The good news is there were so many quarterbacks taken at the top of the first round that there's a lot of potential busts out there. You just have to not be in last place in that group.

Speaker 6 You just have to beat Michael Penis. You have to beat J.J.
McCarthy. And you have to beat Bo Nicks.
Can you do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we should talk about the rest of the draft. I mean, PFT, I'm just.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited.

Speaker 6 I'd like to say I give the Bears an A-plus.

Speaker 1 I give the Commanders an A-plus. Wow.
Hank, what do you give the Patriots? A plus. Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Excitement.

Speaker 1 It was a crazy draft, though, because we saw a couple things we'd never seen before. There was the first 14 picks were offense, so you didn't get a defensive player until number 15.
You also had

Speaker 1 five quarterbacks in the first 12 picks, which has never been done. It was insane.
So it really started. I feel like the draft went pretty much true to form.

Speaker 1 The first, you know, four picks were scripted, essentially. Marvin Harrison Jr., I love that there was even even an idea that they weren't going to take him.

Speaker 1 There was, you know, people were trying to say, oh, Marvin Harrison Jr., Malik Neighbors actually better. Marvin Harrison Jr.

Speaker 1 has been the best wide receiver in this class since he was like 12 years old.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Malik Neighbors is awesome.

Speaker 1 Awesome. He's really, really good.

Speaker 6 In fact, I was thinking about just coming out with a take that Malik Neighbors and

Speaker 6 shit, who's the other wide receiver from LSU drafted top 10?

Speaker 6 Brian Thomas. Brian Thomas.
Not top 10.

Speaker 6 Not top 10. But close to it.
Close to it.

Speaker 6 That they were only good in college because of Jaden Daniels, but I couldn't even bring myself to type that out. But it might be something I go back to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why not?

Speaker 1 Try it on. And then we had Joe Alt at five to the Chargers.
People were saying, oh, the Chargers need a wide receiver because they've traded Keenan Allen, cut Mike Williams.

Speaker 1 Justin Herbert has no one to throw to.

Speaker 1 Well, Jim Harbaugh had the quote of the night when he said, I know the question is going to come up about weapons. We look at offensive linemen as weapons.
Yep. Yep.
He likes big bodies.

Speaker 6 He likes big dudes to wrestle with. He likes physical people.

Speaker 1 Shout out Joe Alt in that picture of him in his living room. He's just massive.

Speaker 6 Joe Alt looks like the world's biggest eight-year-old.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just massive lines.

Speaker 6 Just a perfect offensive lineman. So I'm sure that Harbaugh will be creative with how he uses him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So then we had Malik Neighbors go to the Giants,

Speaker 1 which Daniel Jones is throwing to him. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 1 JC Latham going to the Titans. They're beefing up their offensive line back-to-back years because they got Skaransky last year.

Speaker 6 I think that was a pick made by, maybe the first pick ever made by a head coach's dad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true.

Speaker 6 Where Callahan was like, give me this guy. Yeah, I want this guy.

Speaker 1 And then everything went crazy because the Atlanta Falcons, who, if you remember, signed Kirk Cousins to a $180 million deal,

Speaker 1 what, like a month and a half ago?

Speaker 1 selected Michael Pennix Jr. with the eighth pick, and we had

Speaker 1 their GM look live, looking like he was trying to explain to Arthur Smith or Arthur Blank what exactly was happening. Yeah.
Crazy. It makes

Speaker 1 even if you wanted to get, like, even if you, if you're at the Falcons, you're like, you know what, let's do the Packers type of situation where we draft a guy behind a guy, and we're like, we're going to let him sit for a couple years.

Speaker 1 Michael Pennix Jr. is

Speaker 1 old, and JJ McCarthy is young. And if you sit him for two years, he's going to be Brandon Whedon.

Speaker 6 And then quarterback rookie deals, first-round deals, are four years. There's a fifth-year option on there.
Kirk Cousins, his deal is currently four years. Yeah.
So

Speaker 6 here's the thing about that move is that there's about eight reasons why it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It makes it makes zero sense to do it. Now, if he's a great quarterback, cool.
I hope it pans out. But like, when is he going to start? Is he going to sit for two years?

Speaker 1 And then he's going to play?

Speaker 6 Why use such a high pick for this?

Speaker 6 You could have probably gotten him in the second round.

Speaker 1 It was so baffling for them to do that.

Speaker 6 Well, they had an all-time spin zone.

Speaker 6 So our friend Diana Rossini contacted the Falcons, and their spin zone was Kirk Cousins is such a good quarterback that they're not going to be in a position to draft a good quarterback over the next four years.

Speaker 6 That's smart. So since he's Kirk Cousins is almost too good at playing quarterback because he's so good that he's going to ruin your team forever.

Speaker 1 So you had to get your QB2 now.

Speaker 6 That's exactly what happened with Hank's Patriots, where Tom Brady was so good at playing quarterback that they weren't able to ever draft good quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they did draft quarterbacks. They didn't draft him with the eighth pick.

Speaker 6 They didn't draft him with the eighth pick.

Speaker 6 It was Mac Jones.

Speaker 1 It's very funny. Mac Jones.
No, well, that was after Tom Brady, though. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I'm saying, like,

Speaker 1 the Patriots did draft Jimmy Garoppolo as an heir apparent, but it wasn't with the eighth pick. Right.

Speaker 1 And, yeah. I mean, it's crazy.
Even Jordan Love, he was in the 20s.

Speaker 6 He was in the 20s, and also Aaron Rodgers was trying to break up.

Speaker 1 Well, he did probably just sign a contract extension because he would just break up and then sign a contract. Either way, it makes no sense.
It's crazy. Kirk Cousins was blindsided.

Speaker 1 The report came out that the Falcons called him two minutes before the pick. I actually feel bad for Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Not so, so bad because he still gets $180 million or whatever it's going to be guaranteed because if Michael Pennix turns out to be good in practice and all these things and wows him, I would imagine he's going to start either next year or two years from now or three years.

Speaker 1 Like, they'll cut Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 6 It's over 100 mil guaranteed. Right.
The full contract is 180.

Speaker 1 So I don't feel bad for him because he's still got that money, but that does suck to sign with somewhere and then have them draft someone with the eighth pick.

Speaker 1 And I just don't understand what the Falcons are thinking. They have gone the last four years.
They went Drake London. They went Kyle Pitts.
They went Bijan.

Speaker 1 And they went a backup quarterback with all in the top 10.

Speaker 6 That's crazy. It's weird.

Speaker 1 It's nuts.

Speaker 6 And every Falcons fan out there was like, what the fuck are we doing right now?

Speaker 6 It makes no sense to do. But if he ends up being a good quarterback, then no one's going to care.
And they'll be like, great job by the Falcons.

Speaker 1 I still think he could have probably traded down.

Speaker 6 Probably could have traded down a lot for him.

Speaker 1 Probably could have waited a little bit, but it was a crazy run on quarterbacks because then we had.

Speaker 6 I think it got started, though, because of the Falcons. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I don't know that he would have been off the board if you had traded back into like the mid-teens

Speaker 6 early 20s.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 1 and then you know romadunze to the bears which i couldn't be more excited about they're already like best friends which is awesome uh and and jj mccarthy then goes to vikings traded like 10 times it felt like yeah um jj mccarthy goes to the vikings seemed like they were eyeing him for a while uh they only had to trade up one spot in that trade then they traded up again with the jaguars later on in the draft uh and then you had fishanu and then bonicks which i think Bo Nicks is also one where I'm scratching my head being like, why would the Broncos take him at 12?

Speaker 6 Maybe they were worried that the Raiders were going to get him, but also, since it's Bo Nicks, maybe you kind of want the Raiders to have him? Well,

Speaker 1 here's a good sign of is a team maybe reaching on their draft pick. Diana Rossini did some good reporting about the spin zone for the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Adam Schefter went into full, full spin zone for the Broncos.

Speaker 1 He fired off some tweets. I'm going to read them to you, but it was essentially like, hey, Adam, we're going to get killed for taking Bo Nicks at 12.

Speaker 1 Can you do us a solid, please? He started it with: Sean Payton wanted and intended to draft Patrick Mahomes in the 2017 draft.

Speaker 1 When he held the 11th overall pick, he was ready to turn in the card, but before he could, the Chiefs trade up to the Bills spot at number 10, took Mahomes one spot before Payton got him, leaving the Saints to draft Ohio State cornerback Marshawn Lattimore.

Speaker 1 Peyton feels as strongly about Bo Nicks as he did Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 6 It's wild that so many teams were going to draft Patrick Mahomes. There's like six different head coaches that are saying, you know, I had his name written down on the card.

Speaker 6 We're ready to go with Mahomes. But apparently, Sean Payton was actually going to do it, and Schefter made sure to include that little nugget in it.

Speaker 1 He felt as strongly about Bo Nicks as he did Patrick Mahomes. And then we had this one.

Speaker 1 So that was just the first one to set it up: like, hey, listen, guys, Bo Nicks and Patrick Mahomes are actually in the same sentence here.

Speaker 1 The next one was Broncos center Alex Forseth, who played with Nicks at Oregon before Denver, drafted him in the seventh round last year, raved to Denver's coaches about his former college quarterback.

Speaker 1 Forseth told the Broncos coaches that Nicks is smart, knows every protection, handles it all at the line of scrimmage, and had the universal respect of the entire team.

Speaker 1 So Sean Payton taking draft strategy from his center.

Speaker 6 Did you hear about the fact that they brought Bo Nix in for a workout? They gave him some plays.

Speaker 1 Oh, this is the last tweet. This is Schefter.
He literally just, he spent like 1,000 characters on the Broncos.

Speaker 1 This one might be my favorite one yeah so he said Denver held a private workout with Bo Nicks the day after his pro day the night before the workout the Broncos sent Nicks three packets of offensive play installation and the next morning as they worked in the classroom with Nicks he crushed it per Broncos source the Broncos this is all just coming from Sean Payton the Broncos then took Nick's from the classroom to the field watched him throw for an hour and were convinced they had a quarterback they wanted so so what happened was they gave him all the information and then he stayed up all night being like all I have to do is make one team fall in love with me.

Speaker 6 Correct. And then he just memorized that, came in.
They're like, wow, I can't believe that this guy is able to absorb all this stuff.

Speaker 6 The best cram session ever.

Speaker 1 If you need that many tweets and that many words to say we took a quarterback at 12, that seems like a big reach. Bo Nix's, I know the lines don't really matter.

Speaker 1 Bo Nix's over-under was 32.5 to be drafted. Like, it was a real...

Speaker 1 Conversation. Would he dip into the second round? They took him 12.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Schefter was laying on pretty thick there. I wonder if that was a favor called in by Sean Payton or not, or if that's just Schefter trying to get some scoops in the future.

Speaker 6 But that's pretty far for even Adam to go in terms of running PR for somebody. And Bo Nix,

Speaker 6 I think it was earlier this season, we were talking about him, and we said

Speaker 6 some team's going to fall in love with him, and they're going to take him in the first or second round. And they're just not going to be teams that watched him play that much throughout college.

Speaker 6 Obviously, he had a good year this year, a really good year. But it's just teams got desperate.
Maybe teams are thinking ahead to next season, too.

Speaker 6 Maybe they're looking at the quarterback class next year, and they're like, Well, we might as well get one this year.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It was just weird.
It felt like a reach.

Speaker 1 It just felt like teams are like, We need a quarterback. I mean, it happens every year.

Speaker 1 I've watched my team do it where it's like, You need a quarterback. We got to take a quarterback.
Let's get a quarterback right now.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and it does make you feel excited.

Speaker 1 Oh, of course. Well, I don't know.
I have one of my good friends. Oh, yeah, Hank, you feel excited.
He's a Broncos fan, and he's not excited.

Speaker 6 Not happy about this? I'd say not excited. The side-by-side pictures of Zach Wilson and Bonix are also very funny.
Sean Payton has a type. Yes.
He's got a type.

Speaker 1 He does. And then,

Speaker 1 which was crazy, so because of the Floria quarterbacks, Brock Bowers, who is an incredible tight end and

Speaker 1 should have probably been a top 10 pick, goes 13 to the Raiders. Brock Bowers is going to have a great career.
Brock Bowers has to figure out something with that hair.

Speaker 6 Got to figure out something with the hair. Also, he pulled a max.
Did you see that? No.

Speaker 6 Yeah, when he got drafted, the cameras in the living room hit a dog right in front of him. Wouldn't pet his dog.
Oh, no. I dinged him a little bit for that.

Speaker 1 I also, if we're talking about draft

Speaker 1 room or living rooms, Olu Fashanu's girlfriend getting boxed out was so funny.

Speaker 6 Yeah, she was reaching over. She got reaching over to mom.

Speaker 1 Mom was just,

Speaker 1 it was textbook just getting the leverage on the girlfriend, being like, you're not getting any of this right now.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you got to have rules for the girlfriend. There's always one or two that end up going viral because they're trying to be too involved in the family.

Speaker 6 Or sometimes there's a screenshot that lives on, Russell Wilson.

Speaker 6 You got to have rules for a girlfriend, a college girlfriend,

Speaker 6 unless there's a ring on it, you need to have at least two people in between you and that person. Family members, close family members.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's, I mean, those living rooms are always so funny.

Speaker 1 I always just respect, like, there's always one guy in the back who just knows his role perfectly, just whooping it up, usually gets the hat on faster than anyone else. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's not trying to get close. He's not trying to do a hug.
He's just, he's there knowing exactly. He's like, look, I'm number 14 on the depth chart.
He's a hype man. I'm good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're good to be in the room. Wear a clock around your neck.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. And then what else in the first round do we think was remarkable? Congrats on Quinnyon Mitchell, Max.
You were very excited about him? A-plus great in my book. Toledo?

Speaker 1 Toledo, best corner in the draft.

Speaker 1 I've only heard great things. I've great tape watching Maxion about him.
He's a great guy.

Speaker 6 I mean, Nick Saban said it best. He's like, I wanted to get that guy out of the transfer portal, but we couldn't get him to to go into the transfer portal to get out of the transfer portal.

Speaker 1 Doesn't sound like tampering to me.

Speaker 6 Pretty much saying, like,

Speaker 6 we told him to come to Alabama, like, we would take him. And he was like, no, I want to be a Mac guy.
So,

Speaker 6 yeah, I mean, I feel like it's good value, right?

Speaker 1 That's what you were saying earlier. I mean, that's what everyone was saying.

Speaker 6 You had him very, very high on your board.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Most people did. I think

Speaker 1 most people thought he was the best corner in the draft.

Speaker 1 And then the report was the Eagles were going to trade up to 12 with the Broncos because the Broncos thought that they could have got Bo Nicks at the Eagles' spot, but we didn't even have to.

Speaker 1 They took Bo Nicks there. We took Quinnine Mitchell at our spot, and everyone got what they wanted.

Speaker 6 First time taking a corner in the draft since 2002 in the first round for the Eagles?

Speaker 1 Is that right? Sure. That makes sense to me.

Speaker 6 So Howie must have liked him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, definitely.

Speaker 6 Howie's cooking. Do you have need? The other head-scratching move in the first round came at the very end with the Chiefs trading with the Bills.
The Bills traded their pick to the Chiefs

Speaker 6 who moved up,

Speaker 6 and everyone knew what was going to happen.

Speaker 6 Everyone knew we knew weeks in advance something, some bullshittery like this was going to happen.

Speaker 6 The Chiefs move up. In my opinion, that's worse than trading inside the division, is the Bills trading with the Chiefs.

Speaker 6 It's way worse.

Speaker 6 They're the ones after you get out of your division that are stopping you from getting to the Super Bowl. They need a receiver.

Speaker 6 They got not only a receiver, they got the fastest receiver in the history of the NFL combine. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Xavier Worthy is, I mean, with him, him with Mahomes, why'd you let them do that?

Speaker 6 Congratulations to the Chiefs on winning the Super Bowl next year. They won another Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 They did. They did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's okay to say that. It's okay to admit it.
They just won another Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And he's probably going to be like...

Speaker 1 He's probably going to go for 120 and a touchdown in the Super Bowl. Xavier Worthy? Yeah.
I'm thinking like

Speaker 1 a 60-yard bomb.

Speaker 6 Second half. Yeah.
60-yard bomb. Yeah.
They're down by

Speaker 6 three. Yeah, down by three at half.
Yeah, down by three at half. And four minutes left in the third quarter.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 6 64-yard touchdown pass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what was the reason for this draft anyway? With a flag.

Speaker 6 And the flag doesn't matter. Yeah, no, it's going to be the Chiefs again.
This was such a crazy, crazy thing to happen that everybody knew was going to happen. Yeah.
But it still did.

Speaker 6 And credit to the Chiefs.

Speaker 6 I mean, what else can you say? Like, they're able to.

Speaker 6 They worked the Tyreek Hill situation out pretty well yeah

Speaker 1 you had the best receiver in the nfl arguably in tyree kill instead of paying him you let him walk and you're like we'll find somebody else yeah you found a faster version of tyree kill it's crazy it's crazy um also the uh i thought the lions pick because they traded up to get terion uh arnold and that it's just very cool to have a guy drafted in front of the entire city he's going to play in yeah and they were hyped for that they're very hyped for that it was it was a good it was a good first round it was i mean i loved this first round this is the first round I'm hoping that I can look back on and be like, I'll be watching a 30 for 30 in 40 years and be like, remember that draft night?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I really haven't been this excited about a quarterback since RG3's rookie year.

Speaker 2 In the next three years,

Speaker 2 will all five teams, including the Eagles and Jets, make the playoffs, have made the playoffs.

Speaker 6 Next three years?

Speaker 2 How many out of five?

Speaker 1 Four out of five. I don't know which four.

Speaker 1 I'm leaning the Jets, not making it.

Speaker 6 I think the Bears will.

Speaker 1 The Bears are going to make the playoffs this year.

Speaker 6 I don't know if the Patriots will.

Speaker 1 Don't quote me on that. Yeah, I don't know why you're saying Patriots over Jets.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to boost up Hank because

Speaker 1 he's such a dick.

Speaker 1 I think Hank himself would say. I've had one of the best days of my life.

Speaker 6 I'm going based off.

Speaker 1 And Hank is just... He's just looking at him, just trying to drag me down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm getting

Speaker 1 nasty work.

Speaker 2 This This is gaslighting.

Speaker 1 He's doing nasty work. No, I think it's a good thing.
I think Hank is being self-aware about the draft. He is, but he walked in.
When Drake May got drafted, he walked in.

Speaker 1 He just had a frown, and I was just like, what's up? Like, aren't you excited? He's like, well, whatever.

Speaker 6 Based on his analysis of Drake May, that's what I'm going off of. I'm trying to gas up Hank the draft nick.

Speaker 2 I'm not used to being a loser in these situations. I'm not a draft person.
I trust the process. I trust the crafts.

Speaker 2 If it were me, if I was a GM, I'm taking the best player at a position, not the third best player at a position.

Speaker 6 Would you rather have JJ?

Speaker 1 No, he wanted Marvin Harrison. Yeah.

Speaker 6 No, but would you rather have JJ than Drake?

Speaker 2 If they traded down and took JJ, I'd be cool with that. Yeah.
That's kind of the same thing to me.

Speaker 1 Drake May could be good. Yeah.
He's got a fucking big arm.

Speaker 2 He can make all the throws.

Speaker 2 He can make all the throws.

Speaker 1 He also,

Speaker 1 let me boost you up a little here, Hank. He was playing on a very bad team this past year.
Like, very, very bad.

Speaker 2 I don't want to sound like a Drake May hater. I'm not.
I just.

Speaker 1 You're just not excited.

Speaker 2 I'm not optimistic

Speaker 1 about this opportunity. Where I'm like counting.

Speaker 1 Super Bowls.

Speaker 2 The Bears are going to get the stadium, get a Super Bowl, and play in it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that.

Speaker 1 What will that be? Because the stadium won't be until like 2030, so it'd be what?

Speaker 1 2030?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think so. It takes a while to build a stadium.

Speaker 1 It would be like third or fourth Super Bowl for Caleb Williams. Swan song.

Speaker 1 What? He's retiring in 2030?

Speaker 2 Well, they're going to get the first year at the stadium.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, true, true, true. All right, so like third?

Speaker 1 2030. I would like him to play longer than that.
I'm hoping this is a 15, 20-year marriage that I just entered into.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping my entire life changes. I'm hoping literally, like, I look at this point and I'm like, dude, remember that day?

Speaker 1 Everything after that day was incredible.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine we're going to be,

Speaker 6 you could be 55 and Caleb might be retiring.

Speaker 1 Listen.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping that it's just like my kids are like, this is, you know, Caleb Williams just, they grew up with Caleb Williams in our household. And it's just Caleb Williams all the time.
And Roma Dunce.

Speaker 1 And Keenan Allen. Well, he's going to be older.
And DJ Moore and Cole Komet.

Speaker 6 I'm super excited.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited.

Speaker 6 We got RG4. Also,

Speaker 6 another thing Schefter did.

Speaker 6 He tweeted out a link to buy Jaden Daniels' jersey. Yeah.
Like a direct link to the store.

Speaker 6 Does he get paid to do that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he probably gets a little switched.

Speaker 6 Are the Commanders paying Adam Schefter to promote their team's merch?

Speaker 6 That's a weird dynamic for a reporter to have, but it worked. I clicked on it.
I ordered Jaden Daniels' jersey right off the bat. I don't know what's going to happen.

Speaker 6 So the bad news is, good news, bad news, Tress Way is going to have to change his number from number five.

Speaker 1 What numbers are your QE is going to be?

Speaker 6 Mine's going to be number five. Trust Way, my Tress Way number five jersey will have to be retired.
I'll have to get a new one, but that's fine. That's a price I'll pay as a fan for that.

Speaker 6 But he's going to be number five, just like he was in college.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Cale Williams is going to be Kyle Orton's jersey number 18 because Keenan Allen is 13. He said, actually, on the red carpet, he was like, Keenan Allen's been in the league for a very long time.

Speaker 1 Respect. That's a great teammate move.

Speaker 1 He was 13 his entire college career. Just remember that number.
Caleb Williams is 18. He's 18 now.
Remember 13, that number for some random reason at the end of the show.

Speaker 1 We taped the Firefest. We taped Firefest

Speaker 1 in the afternoon at 2 o'clock, just so we're clear.

Speaker 1 Hank trying to bring me down yet again. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait,

Speaker 1 we're talking QB. They will all come together at the end, folks.

Speaker 1 They'll all understand it.

Speaker 6 Big cat, did you take your nail polish off?

Speaker 1 There were press-ons. Okay.
It was so hard to type.

Speaker 1 I don't know how women do it.

Speaker 6 No, there's a lot of stuff they do.

Speaker 1 What was that girl's name we had to shout out?

Speaker 1 McCulkey. McCulkey.

Speaker 1 McCulkey?

Speaker 1 Fuck. It was a unique name.

Speaker 6 Malik Chi.

Speaker 1 She came up to us in Detroit. She's like, you guys, can you guys talk more, like, every now and then, some more girl stuff? And we're like, yes, we will.

Speaker 1 And next time we do, we'll shout out your name. And it's been 24 hours.
We forgot her name.

Speaker 1 Milky?

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's Milky Lady. Milky.

Speaker 1 So anyway, Milky, I don't know how you guys wear nails like that. It is so hard.
All my respect to shout out all the women out there who have the nails because I couldn't do anything.

Speaker 1 I was trying to eat. I was trying to wipe my ass.
I was trying to type.

Speaker 6 I couldn't do anything. It's because women use a lot of cocaine, so they have the long nails for that.

Speaker 1 That is exactly what it is, but yeah, shout out McCulkie, that's why they're so skinny. So, hopefully, she's doing the Leo meme in her in the car right now.
She's like, What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's guys butchered my name.

Speaker 6 It's so bad, it's Leo, except with extended nails, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, but that's not actually my name, yeah. Uh, all right, any other draft stuff? Oh, memes, how are you feeling, Jets?

Speaker 1 Feeling good.

Speaker 2 Uh, we got a big boy, and uh, he's as Max said, he's the best lineman in the draft,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 According to whose grades?

Speaker 2 Max.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice. That's the thing, though.
That's the beauty. All you got to do is find one grade.

Speaker 1 Find one person who liked him more than everyone else. Yep.
And you're like, boom.

Speaker 6 Memes. Just search for New York Jets A grade, and then you'll be happy all night.
You'll get to read all the jobs.

Speaker 1 He's a massive human.

Speaker 6 He is big. He just adds to the offensive line.

Speaker 1 And you know what?

Speaker 6 Even if you're not happy with your draft, anybody out there that might be questioning who they took, who they could have taken, at least you're not the Falcons.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 And if you are a Falcons fan, I apologize because you are very much the Falcons.

Speaker 6 This might have been, I would actually say this is the most Falcons move of all time.

Speaker 1 It really is.

Speaker 6 In a long history of being the Falcons, this is the tops.

Speaker 1 And how do you think it feels right now to be Arthur Blank and just thinking like,

Speaker 1 man, I wish I hadn't picked up that phone call from Robert Kraft?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because if I had

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick, there's 0% chance he would have taken Michael Pennex for the eighth pick.

Speaker 6 So the Falcons, let me get this straight. They have an old injury-prone quarterback,

Speaker 6 which makes total sense that they would pair him with a guy like Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. Exactly.
Got it, guys. Exactly.
Also, there were some funny memes going around.

Speaker 1 I saw one. It was a dog just pissing all over the kitchen, and it was like the Falcons drafting a left-handed quarterback named Michael.

Speaker 1 All the dogs in Atlanta right now.

Speaker 1 that was a funny meme.

Speaker 6 I don't.

Speaker 6 We have no evidence that Michael Penix beats dogs and fights them recreationally. Does not.

Speaker 1 I have not right now, does not.

Speaker 6 On all the red flags, all the all the weaknesses that I've seen on the pre-draft scouting reports, I didn't see that Michael Penix has electrocuted a pit bull.

Speaker 1 And this does, this does suck for Michael Pennix.

Speaker 1 Like, I know that it's great because of the money and he's the eighth pick, but you get, when you become the, the Falcons are the laughingstock of round one, and he gets lumped into it.

Speaker 1 I say this all the time: these guys don't get to decide where they're drafted, they don't get to decide which team picks them. Yeah, it's like I'm rooting for Michael Pennix.

Speaker 1 I want him to do well because it would be great if he was great and the Falcons would be like, see,

Speaker 1 we did the right thing, even though they didn't because they could have traded down and got him later. But we did the right thing, we got our guy.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it is funny, though, it's seeing everybody so concerned about Kirk Cousins. Like, I hope Kirk's doing okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, the NFL network, our guy DJ, and uh, Rapport were essentially like

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins' life just shattered.

Speaker 6 This is tragic for Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 6 I think Kirk's going to be okay. I think he's going to be fine.
Maybe they tried to call his agent.

Speaker 6 Maybe diamond-encrusted cell phones get bad reception because his agent is rich as fuck and probably doesn't even need to pick up the phone anymore.

Speaker 1 He's going to be 36 in August, Kirk Cousins. He signed a four-year deal.

Speaker 1 It sucks that you were maybe not lied to, but told that you were, you know, they weren't going to draft someone in the first round, a quarterback, but that also is the NFL.

Speaker 6 I'm looking forward to seeing the post-mortem on how this all happened because you would think that

Speaker 6 in the free agent process, when they're talking to Kirk, they wouldn't have been so all in on him if they knew all along that their plan was to draft a quarterback with their top 10 pick, right?

Speaker 6 I think it's probably going to end up being something like, you know, we didn't see this coming, but we just kind of fell in love.

Speaker 1 We don't know how Michael Pennix fell all the way to eight. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think they're just going to say, like, we truly fell in love with this person.

Speaker 1 I honestly, if I were the Atlanta Falcons PR team, I would just come out with the most ridiculous story and just be like, believe it or don't, no one would believe it. Like, we got confused.

Speaker 1 We thought we were picking 18. Yeah,

Speaker 6 even still, even if this was the 18th pick and they had taken Pennex, that would be a wild move.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. It was a crazy draft first round.

Speaker 6 RG3 is probably pretty psyched to see Kirk Cousins having a backup drafted on draft night right in front of his face.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's true. Yeah, he's seen it.
I was thinking he might call Mike Glennon. Mike Glennon famously left the Bears' draft party when they drafted Trubisky.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Now, Mike Glennon's a little different than Kirk Cousins in the fact that if an organization says, Mike Glennon, you're our starter, Mike Glennon should be like, what's the catch?

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins actually is a really good player.

Speaker 6 The funny thing is, Kirk is probably the best equipped starting quarterback to handle something like this. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like he's probably, he's going to say very nice things, and he's going to say, I'm looking forward to working with this guy.

Speaker 6 The more good talent you can have in the quarterback quarterback room, he's going to say all the right things.

Speaker 6 He might even mean all the right things, but there's some deep, deep, down inside part of him that's going to be like, well, this fucking sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's kind of similar. I mean, Jalen Hurts was a second-round pick, but it was the same thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it happens. This is what happens in the NFL.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We paid Carson Wentz a shit ton of money, got a backup quarterback. He's got a lot of draft capital on him.
I think Kirk Cousins is better than Carson Wentz, but I would agree.

Speaker 1 I mean, even Russ going to Pittsburgh. Team-friendly deal, quote-unquote.
But then Justin Fields gets traded there, you know, a month later.

Speaker 1 He's going to ⁇ that is going to be an option for them pretty quickly.

Speaker 6 Is there any chance that...

Speaker 1 Zach Wilson. Any chance that...
Zach Wilson gets traded.

Speaker 6 Could we hear the, it's truly going to be an open competition line?

Speaker 1 No, I doubt it. I feel like that.
There's no way they could trade.

Speaker 6 They have to tell Kirk that it's his job. Yeah, they have to.

Speaker 1 They have to.

Speaker 6 But it's a first-round pick. It's a top 10 pick.
Yeah. At some point in the next couple of years, you're going to want to see what you have there.

Speaker 1 Right. And also now, Kirk Cousins has to deal with the fact that, like, if he gets injured or misses a game, that could be it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Every time. Every single time.

Speaker 6 And Michael Pennix isn't getting younger.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, he's not.
None of us are. All right, let's talk some NBA and NHL.

Speaker 8 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 8 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 8 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Celtics Heat 1-1.

Speaker 6 Oh, I thought that they weren't going to lose any games this round.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I gotta.

Speaker 1 We were maybe looking ahead to the Nuggets,

Speaker 1 trying to find a way to stop the Nuggets.

Speaker 2 After the game one of the Bruins and the Celtics, I made a mistake, and I'm here to admit, and moving forward,

Speaker 2 say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky.
What?

Speaker 1 You can't

Speaker 1 play

Speaker 1 it. It's the playoffs.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Hank's happy weekend really, I think it set you back, actually.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I got way too ahead of myself. It's an absolute grind to make it just to make it to the finals, just to make it to the next round of the playoffs.
It's a grind. You got to earn every win.

Speaker 2 I was way too cocky.

Speaker 1 So are we stopping thinking about how to stop the Nuggets?

Speaker 1 no,

Speaker 1 but.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're not.

Speaker 6 Hank has an advanced scouts department.

Speaker 2 I'm watching all the Western Conference games and I'm zeroed in on the Nuggets. They're a problem too.
The Nuggets are a serious, serious, serious, serious problem.

Speaker 1 It's almost like they won last year.

Speaker 2 Championship or bust is no longer. It's just

Speaker 1 winning this. It's a winless series.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who win this series.

Speaker 2 And then let's win the next series. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Let's win the next series.

Speaker 2 I'm not focused on the Nuggets. I'm not focused on the Western Conference.
I'm just focused on Saturday against the the Heats.

Speaker 1 You can't change championship or bust.

Speaker 6 That's a bust.

Speaker 2 Series or bust, and then it's series or bust, and then it's series or bust. But okay, every series is a series or bust.

Speaker 1 But championship or bust was said many times leading into these playoffs.

Speaker 2 And that was old me, and now that was cocky me.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's all right. So ties can change.

Speaker 2 And I'm no longer cocky.

Speaker 1 What do we think about the Celtics just not guarding anyone, shooting three-pointers?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was a weird defensive strategy. I mean, the Heat were obviously they blacked out.
They hit the most most threes in franchise history.

Speaker 1 But they do that.

Speaker 1 That happened. That was the most threes they've ever hit.

Speaker 2 They don't do that every game. They're not going to do that every game.

Speaker 1 But last year, the same thing happened in that series. We were like, they're not going to shoot this well again.
And then they shot that well again. By the way, Max, you missed it.

Speaker 1 You missed it.

Speaker 1 Hank has retired cocky Hank.

Speaker 1 I don't believe that. He's retired

Speaker 1 cocky Hank. Forever.
No, that's who he is as a person.

Speaker 6 No, he claims that he's he's been momentarily humbled by the heat.

Speaker 1 Momentarily.

Speaker 6 By heat culture. And so he's going back.

Speaker 6 Max, listen to this.

Speaker 1 As much shit as hell. Why are we

Speaker 1 talking about that? Max, maybe don't fucking miss the podcast. Maybe pay attention and do your job.
You wouldn't miss it. We're not doing like, this isn't a show catered to Max.

Speaker 1 You should have been here the first time.

Speaker 6 He slept in six hours last week.

Speaker 1 Hank, I was checking an ad thing. Here's the thing, Hanks.

Speaker 6 No, wait, wait, wait, but Max, I wanted to just inform you of another.

Speaker 1 He's going to listen to it in 20 minutes.

Speaker 6 Okay, fine. Yeah, listen to it later, and then tell me what you think of what Hank's saying about this entire turning of a new leaf.

Speaker 6 Because you've been a guy, Max, that we've said, is this a must-win game? And we've jumped down your throat when you say that it isn't, and then you lose.

Speaker 6 With Hank, he's taking back, he's rescinding championship or bust.

Speaker 1 You can't do that. He cannot do that.

Speaker 2 We're not in the championship. We're in a series.
No, but the series is a series or bust.

Speaker 1 Before the playoffs, multiple times. When we get to the, if, if we are

Speaker 1 lucky enough,

Speaker 2 we have less enough to make it to the championship series, that series will also be a series or bust.

Speaker 2 Okay, now right now it's just series or bust, and then the next series, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, will be series or bust.

Speaker 1 I have a question for you, Hank. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 you did say just now the Heat can't shoot that well again. Correct.

Speaker 1 I have a stat for you. Miami has four playoff games in the past two seasons with 50% shooting from three

Speaker 1 all against Boston.

Speaker 1 No other team has more than one against anyone.

Speaker 1 So when you say it can't happen again, it's literally just keeps happening.

Speaker 2 Yeah, maybe it is. The Heat are a good team, and we just got to come out and play good defense.
Hopefully, Coach Missoula is going to make some adjustments.

Speaker 1 Porzing has played horrible.

Speaker 2 He played like dog shit. Tatum didn't have the best second half.

Speaker 2 Defense got to pick it up.

Speaker 2 We have the tools necessary.

Speaker 2 Adjustments. Game three is a must-win.
Game three, I am hoping that they blow them out. Otherwise, I will be pulling, not pressing it, but I will.

Speaker 1 The panic button will appear.

Speaker 6 It's going to be so funny if they win the series. The Celtics.

Speaker 1 We can't be in a spot where we're fighting the heat.

Speaker 2 Again, if I was cocky and I was thinking about the finals,

Speaker 2 you got to just get through the heat with no Rozier and no Butler. Like, it's just got to be a 3-1-4-0.

Speaker 1 Shooting 50% from three.

Speaker 1 They can't hit a franchise record for threes every game. Hank, it's not going to happen.
They've done it four times in the last but only once this year. Right, but last year, if we went back.

Speaker 1 That would have been like

Speaker 1 Jimmy Butler known three-point sniper. Yeah.

Speaker 6 If you guys win four games to one, you're going to get back to cocky Hank

Speaker 6 so fast.

Speaker 1 Hank, what do you think about this? I think you still should be cocky hank. Yeah.

Speaker 6 What do you think? It is is kind of lame that Hank abandoned this at the very first sign of the jersey.

Speaker 1 You lost one game. You're going to win this game four.
You're going to win this series for Walter. You know what you guys are lost in the game on Friday night?

Speaker 6 You guys lost in a historic shooting performance by the Heat. Well, no,

Speaker 6 no, it'll never happen again.

Speaker 1 They said a franchise record pick out. You're not understanding.
I was talking about a fucking franchise record, not the 50%, your little stat. No, but.

Speaker 1 I mean, but Hank, they keep shooting great from three against you. Hank, I need you to talk about that.
I was talking about that. Stand up for yourself.
Franchise record.

Speaker 6 Stand up for yourself.

Speaker 6 You spent six months saying it was championship or bust, and at the very first sign where you're slightly uncomfortable, you're like, oh, I have to reevaluate my whole line of thinking.

Speaker 6 Is that line of thinking what got you this far?

Speaker 2 No, it's just you realize

Speaker 2 it's all, you know, this is the regular season.

Speaker 2 The postseason is the start of the season, and now we've got to focus. We got to lock in.
You can't just, you know.

Speaker 2 You can't assume a putt's going in. You got to see it through.
You got to see the ball go through the hoop.

Speaker 2 You got to just one game at a time, one series at a time, series or bust, series or bust, series or bust.

Speaker 1 Equals championship. What was the franchise record? The amount of threes they hit? Yeah.

Speaker 2 They had 24 threes.

Speaker 1 23 threes?

Speaker 6 They did shoot really well.

Speaker 1 But they

Speaker 6 shot really well.

Speaker 6 That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Four times, 50%. They made 23 threes.

Speaker 2 And the Celtics shot 20 less threes than they did the first game.

Speaker 1 You got to shoot more threes.

Speaker 2 They got out, you know.

Speaker 2 Spolster outcoached Missoula in game two.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Heat culture.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know. Because it's the heat.
It's by PGSD. Get back to cocky hang.
I don't, I don't.

Speaker 1 They don't have their two best players.

Speaker 1 But last year was the same thing.

Speaker 2 Big Cat's right. Last year, I said every single game.

Speaker 1 I was like, that's not going to happen. They're not going to shoot that well again.

Speaker 2 That's not going to happen again. Then they were down 3-0,

Speaker 1 and then we lost. Are you worried that you're 11 and 13 at home since the 2022 playoffs?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I didn't know that. That's bad.

Speaker 6 It is a beautiful moment, though, because Max is gassing Hank up. Be like, come on, come on, come on, Hank.
You guys are really good at this.

Speaker 1 You got this, Hank.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't know. It's just this, this is crazy.
It's like the Sixers had no problem with the Heat.

Speaker 2 You played one game. I mean, the Celtics had no problem with them in one game.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I'm on your side here. Like, the Heat aren't good.
They had one good game. And all of a sudden, like, the Celtics are the best team of all time.
That's anyone, everything.

Speaker 1 That's anything anyone's been saying.

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 1 Everyone, everyone in the NBA. It's like this is the most deep NBA team of all time.

Speaker 6 Everyone's been saying championship are bust for these guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you lose one game to the heat

Speaker 1 without fucking Jimmy Butler or Terry Rogier, and all of a sudden it's like, we just got to take it one game. It's the fucking game.
I agree. You're going to win by 20 on Friday now.

Speaker 1 You're going to win this series in five.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I honestly, it's pissing me off.

Speaker 1 You're being a bitch.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know what this is?

Speaker 6 This is, again, Hank being a product of having such a winning childhood and youth, where it's like he can't separate his teams when one team does bad. Then he takes it out.

Speaker 6 He goes home to the Patriots and takes it out on his family.

Speaker 1 I didn't know how this was going to go. I did not expect this.

Speaker 6 No, I did not expect this.

Speaker 1 This is the craziest turn of events. This is why you don't like Drake May.

Speaker 6 Hank doesn't like the Drake May pick because the Celtics lost last night.

Speaker 1 I sounded more cocky about the Sixers when we were down over the

Speaker 1 Knicks.

Speaker 1 I don't care about you, Max. It It has nothing to do with you.

Speaker 1 Get fucking up off the mat, Hank. I'm off the mat.

Speaker 7 I'm focused on the next game.

Speaker 2 And then I'll be focused on the next game and the next game. And then if we win those games, I'll be focused on the next series.
And then that will be a series or bust.

Speaker 2 And statistically. That's how you win championships.
Just game at a time, focused.

Speaker 1 And statistically speaking, they're only going to shoot 50%

Speaker 1 from three three more times in this series. You're talking about focus and taking we just have to shoot more threes.

Speaker 6 Hank, what are you personally going to do differently?

Speaker 2 I'm not going to get ahead of myself. I'm not going to worry about the Nuggets.
I'm just going to.

Speaker 1 What happens if you win by 40 on Saturday?

Speaker 2 Then we're going to have to win by 40 again on Monday.

Speaker 1 Oh, come on.

Speaker 6 But, Hank, you already admitted that you're paying close attention to the Nuggets. Old me.

Speaker 1 No, but you said that you did that tonight. Yeah, but that series is already over.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 6 The Nuggets played tonight,

Speaker 6 the day after you lost that game. So when did you make this change?

Speaker 2 It was last night. It was last night.

Speaker 1 I think it was Bill Belichick talking badly about Drake May is what made you turn into a loser.

Speaker 2 No, it was the Heat.

Speaker 2 I was having flat.

Speaker 2 Honestly, it was Jalen Brown missed two free throws in the first quarter. Then Jason Tatum missed two free throws in the fourth quarter.
And I just got flashbacks to the Warriors series.

Speaker 2 I got flashbacks to the Heat series from last year.

Speaker 2 And I was like, fuck, this team has like free throws. They're free throws.
You have to focus, you know, you can't focus on being the best team in the world.

Speaker 2 You just have to, they're free for a reason. Make your free throws, win the game, do what you're supposed to do, don't overcomplicate it.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we mentioned the Nuggets there.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 this is the funniest thing ever now. It's just every single game.
The Lakers came out and were up 10 after the first quarter, and the Nuggets won. Doesn't matter.
Jokic almost had a triple-double.

Speaker 6 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 I think he had like 24, 15, and 9. Yes.
It's so funny. And people are going to still be like, the Lakers are a really tough team.
The Nuggets ran into, they played a really competitive sweep.

Speaker 6 They had four guys with over 20 points.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking funny. How many...
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Will

Speaker 1 anyone who picked the Lakers stand up and be like, hey, maybe the Nuggets are really good? Yeah, they're so good.

Speaker 6 Aaron Gordon had 29 tonight.

Speaker 1 He was all over the place. So, yeah, that series.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what? I kind of hope the Lakers win one game.

Speaker 1 Just so we can be like, look, they're making progress.

Speaker 1 In 10 years from now, they'll get to a game seven.

Speaker 6 They even had a good game from the role player that we said they needed to step up was Austin Reeves. He had 22.

Speaker 1 Well, D'Angelo Russell. D'Angelo Russell had zero points.

Speaker 6 Dude, he was... He didn't have a point.
He looked like

Speaker 1 something was actually wrong with him because he missed his first two shots.

Speaker 1 They were as close to an air ball as you could get.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they're bad. He looked like he had Bell's palsy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Joel Mbede, so we got to talk about the Knicks.

Speaker 6 Actually, no, he looked like he definitely didn't have Bell's palsy because that might be a PED.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. So the Knicks, Sixers, Sixers win game three.

Speaker 1 Joel Embiid was incredible.

Speaker 1 How many did you score? He scored 50? 50. 50.

Speaker 1 He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball player. We've watched Draymond Green.
Okay, well,

Speaker 1 Joel Mbi basically did Draymond Greene's like

Speaker 1 finishing move. Yeah, career highlights in one game.
He did.

Speaker 1 The play on Mitchell Robinson when he tried to grab him by the legs

Speaker 1 That was that should have been an ejection and then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts he kicked he kneed Isaiah Hartenstein in the in the nuts What was up with him the the Hartenstein one people were that wasn't dude he he elevated his knee into his nuts He was trying to get around him to get to the that one that one was a basketball play the other the other two were not okay that that that I

Speaker 1 what if you said it I mean look you won the game you can't you don't have to apologize for winning a game you don't have to apologize for him scoring scoring 50.

Speaker 2 If you were Adam Silver, what would you do?

Speaker 6 They're not going to do anything. You don't think so?

Speaker 1 And that was a really dirty play.

Speaker 6 The grabbing of the leg was pretty bad.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw his explanation for it. It wasn't great.
His explanation for it.

Speaker 1 He said that the way he was positioned was that

Speaker 1 he was going to take out Mitchell Robinson's leg, and he was going to fall. And that if he didn't push him away from his body, he was going to fall on it.

Speaker 1 Mitchell Robinson was going to fall on his knee.

Speaker 6 He said he was trying to make sure that Robinson doesn't land on me because, obviously, we know the history that I have with Kaminga landing on my knee. So I kind of had flashbacks.

Speaker 6 When he came down to it, it was unfortunate. I didn't mean to hurt anybody.
I just, in those situations, I got to protect myself because I've been in way too many situations.

Speaker 6 I'm always the recipient of the bad end of it. So he wanted to make somebody else the bad end.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he wanted to injure someone else.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he should just blame everything on Bell's palsy. Yeah.
And we'd be like, okay.

Speaker 1 Correct. So he just can't blink?

Speaker 1 Is that

Speaker 1 the best? Correct. Jesus Christ.
That's when it remember when he went down. It was like, what's going on with his eyeball?

Speaker 6 Is that like when LeBron said that he saw three baskets and aimed for the one in the middle? Is that the opposite of that? Where he's got one eye, so it's like closing your eye to shoot something.

Speaker 6 He's like better at shooting?

Speaker 1 He's a sharp shooter. I like that take.
I mean, you should.

Speaker 1 Today, his shooting was incredible. Yeah, no, he had an incredible game.

Speaker 1 It sucks that he also added that part because we should be talking only about his 50-point game, but you can't just ignore him going like WWE on the Knicks.

Speaker 1 And I love the one part I do love about this, this series,

Speaker 1 it had bad blood going in just because it's Philly and New York, but I love when a series gets to like insane levels of bad blood this quickly. It's game three, and everyone hates everyone so much.

Speaker 1 This could could be like an actual brawl situation. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 next game, someone's going to go after and beats Ni. And if he goes down with his, and

Speaker 1 if he goes out of the game and actually tears his ACL or re-injures his Minisk, it's going to be like actual war.

Speaker 6 Who's your dog on the team that you need to step up and protect him?

Speaker 1 I don't know. We don't have PJ Tucker anymore, which is tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Niang's not on the team, right? Campaign could get a little feisty. Oh, Campaign definitely could.
He could do a dance move on someone. Campaign could get a feisty.

Speaker 1 He could do like a little like.

Speaker 1 Lowry

Speaker 1 will be like little dogs. He'll jump at someone's name.

Speaker 1 Big bark. You could get, yeah, like Campaign could do like a little West Side story.
Jets versus shit. Campaign was also awesome tonight.

Speaker 1 Campaign was a situation

Speaker 1 where role players play better at home. And I said campaign was awesome.

Speaker 1 Campaign was awesome.

Speaker 1 He was awesome today.

Speaker 1 The key with campaign is you got to just somehow memory flash him to be like, you were awesome. Because the next game he'll be like, I'm on pain.

Speaker 1 Beball Paul maybe could get in the mud. Born from the mud.
Beball Paul could get in the mud, but he's like a very nice guy. The Knicks have some tough ass dudes.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that guy Hartenstein is incredible. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I also love Nick Nurse after the game when they asked him about the Embiid play. He's like, I honestly haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I like that too. That's kind of how I wish I could go about this.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's never going to watch that play.

Speaker 6 He should purposely avoid watching it so he can just keep saying, haven't seen it.

Speaker 6 I'm going going to leave that up to the league. You know, they're the ones that watch it.
I don't watch it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Sunday must win? Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 1 Are you cocky?

Speaker 1 I think we win the series.

Speaker 1 I like that. The garden is just ⁇ the garden is tough.
It was just like watching the game in Philly just so much more comfortable. Yeah.
Because when the garden gets rocking,

Speaker 1 it's scary.

Speaker 6 It's scary. Yeah.
Do you have your defense ready against the Knicks fans that will ask for you to apologize for Embiid's behavior?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm sorry that that happened. I mean, Mitchell Robinson didn't get hurt on that play.
He did get hurt later in the game. Oh.

Speaker 1 I wish he didn't do that, but I'm really happy with what I saw from Joelle Embiid the rest of that game.

Speaker 6 Because a lot of Knicks fans are like, well, he should have been out of the game. He should have had the opportunity to drop.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 that's also pussy shit because they're like, oh, we would have won that game if NB got ejected. So are you saying you just don't want to play a team at full strength? Oh, I never do.

Speaker 1 I think they're saying that I never want to play a team at full strength.

Speaker 6 If you had the choice to play against the guy that dropped 50 on you or not, they'd say, like, I'm going to take the dot.

Speaker 1 They're like, yeah, we're a better team if the best, if top three player in the league is not playing. Yeah, sure.
And shout out three.

Speaker 1 Top three? Yeah, top three. He did win MVP last year.

Speaker 1 Shout out the Magic for scoring the basketball. They killed the Cavs, so it's good for them to get into the series, see where that goes.
They scored 121 points. Don't waste them all.

Speaker 6 Yeah, listen to Magic.

Speaker 1 But again, it's role players at home.

Speaker 6 I don't think the Magic are as bad as they looked in those first two games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they, I mean, Markel Fultz had 11, and Cole Anthony had 10. Like,

Speaker 1 you know, when you get home, get more comfortable. Guys step up.

Speaker 1 And then the other game, which was another shit kicking

Speaker 1 on Wednesday night, the Thunder got just like being a Thunder fan right now must be so much fun because

Speaker 1 First game, tough, nerves, young group in the playoffs, had to fight and win that game. This game, they killed the Pelicans, and SGA and Chet were awesome.
It was very fun.

Speaker 1 They were incredible, and that's like, oh, shit, we got those guys for

Speaker 1 forever.

Speaker 6 And I feel like Chet smiles so much more in the NBA than he did at Konzaga. Yeah.
I feel like it was all business wise.

Speaker 1 Well, Konzaga, his dad was the camcorder, just following him around.

Speaker 6 Yeah, now he's like, okay, basketball is fun. Yeah.
And he's playing loose, and he's way better than I thought that he would be. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that had to be like one of those moments where if you're a Thunder fan, you're like, holy fuck, even if we don't, you know, even if we don't go to the finals, even if we don't go to the Western Conference finals, like, this is the future.

Speaker 1 We're just going to keep building on it.

Speaker 6 Just imagine, just close your eyes and be like, but what if KD also?

Speaker 1 Yeah. What if KD was doing some ISO ball in the corner?

Speaker 6 What if, okay, close your eyes and imagine a future with KD

Speaker 6 and also with a giant building, a new giant building in downtown Oklahoma City.

Speaker 1 And Russell Westbrook. Incredible.

Speaker 6 Why not? Get the gang back together. Why not? It's Stephen Adams.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hockey. Should we talk a little hockey? Bruins are up 2-1 Hank.
Cocky Hank?

Speaker 1 No. Oh.
Well, Hank, no.

Speaker 2 That was a battle. That was a war.
Swayman saved the day.

Speaker 2 They got to keep him in.

Speaker 2 They got to keep men. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think the coach was even saying, like, you could tell that they're thinking about Swayman because

Speaker 6 they bump into him.

Speaker 6 They look different when they have to go up against him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They look nervous. We also have some weird.
Like, usually the first round of the hockey playoffs is fun because all these series are close, close, but we now have the Kings up 3-0,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 Panthers up 3-0,

Speaker 1 the Rangers maybe

Speaker 1 down 2-0.

Speaker 6 Rangers are down 2-0.

Speaker 1 Down 2-0. Basically.
Yeah, but it's...

Speaker 1 And then, and then I stayed up and watched that Kings Oilers game. Oilers are going to kill me just staying up late.
That was an awesome game.

Speaker 1 The period of the week for the Oilers would be the second period, even though they lost because they came out buzzing. And the Knights are just so good.
Yeah. They went into Dallas.

Speaker 6 Tough look for the Stars people out there because they were thinking Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 They were thinking Stanley Cup. They're down 2-0.
They lost both games at home. The Knights' defense is so fucking good.
I saw a stat. I got to try to find it.

Speaker 1 It was something like in the last five and a half minutes, the Dallas Stars didn't even get a shot attempt. That's just what they're doing defensively.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's very frustrating.

Speaker 1 It's not just like, oh, they got a goalie standing on their head.

Speaker 1 They're just so defensively sound and stopping them there's just nothing you can do that's a series where you have to get into a fight if you're down if you're the stars i'd agree come out try to get into a fight mix things up yeah i'd agree that's my solution to everything in hockey get in a fight just get in a fight changes it changes the whole momentum of the series yeah um okay anything else we got in the sports world oh here it is golden knights did not allow a single shot on goal in the last 538 of the game holding a one goal lead on the road in the playoffs against a team that averages 3.59 goals per game.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Yep.

Speaker 6 I do have one more thing in sports that we should talk about because we missed it.

Speaker 6 Reggie Bush got his Heisman Troy. Oh, yeah.
We did it. Congratulations.

Speaker 6 We bullied the Heisman Trust.

Speaker 1 Did Johnny Menzel know?

Speaker 6 Johnny Menzel, I think

Speaker 6 he was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Speaker 1 Or did he know?

Speaker 6 Did he know that they were going to do it?

Speaker 1 And that's a great move by him.

Speaker 6 And to get out in front of it and be like, yeah, I'm not going to be there. I don't think so.
I feel like.

Speaker 1 Did he say we weren't going to be there?

Speaker 6 So shouldn't we we get some credit? Yeah, yeah, we did.

Speaker 6 I think a lot of people bullied the Heisman trophy.

Speaker 6 It's one of the best examples of bullying working in recent history where people are just like, this is bullshit that Reggie Bush doesn't have it.

Speaker 6 But also, it's bullshit that Reggie Bush ever gave the Heisman trophy back. Yeah.
Because they had to ask him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should have just kept it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you should have just kept it. Possession's nine-tenth of the law.

Speaker 1 Yeah, squatter's right.

Speaker 6 Yeah, possession is important unless you're playing in the NCAA championship game and you see a guy that you want a lateral to. Yes.
That's what Reggie Bush should know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We need to now focus all of our energy because I did say right after it happened, it's like a dog chasing a car. You catch it and you're like, what do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 Barry Bonds Hall of Fame, easy.

Speaker 1 Barry Bonds Hall of Fame should be all the energy of the sports world. Right that wrong.
Barry Bond, the best baseball player of all time, is not in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's ridiculous. Also, Jim Tressel should be retroactively rehired by Ohio State.
Yep. I know the Heisman Trophy and the NCAA are two completely different entities, but the NCAA,

Speaker 6 remember what a huge scandal that was at Ohio State where players were taking

Speaker 6 their personal merchandise and then giving it to a tattoo shop for free tattoos? And then everybody, it was the leading story on ESPN for like a month.

Speaker 6 You're like, can you believe what these assholes are doing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. I made a list.
It was like, we need to get Rick Petito Louisville banner back up.

Speaker 1 We need to get Pete Rose Hall of Fame, Barry Bond's Hall of Fame. Armando Galarago's got to get his perfect game.

Speaker 1 One of the craziest in back calls all time for the Tigers.

Speaker 1 And that was, yeah, we'll think of some more. Dan Heron Hall of Fame.
Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers back. Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers back.
Yeah, we got some more Fab 5.

Speaker 1 Did they ever get that bidder back? I don't know if they did. I don't know.

Speaker 6 Will Wade rehired by LSU?

Speaker 1 Sure. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like it. So we got to right these wrongs.
Use all of our energy. Bullying worked.
Barry Bond's Hall of Fame is number one on my list.

Speaker 6 But the thing is, that's never going to happen. But it should.

Speaker 1 It should. But we thought maybe Reggie Bush would never get his heisman back.
That's true. We can do anything.
With mob mentality, we can do anything.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do Dan Soder in studio, and then we'll finish with Firefest and Lottery Ball, which we taped at 2 o'clock today. Okay, before we get to our awesome interview with Dan Soder in person.

Speaker 7 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boarshead is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 7 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 7 My personal favorite, the blazing buffalo chicken, hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 7 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a homegating celebration.

Speaker 7 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 3 All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Speaker 3 Only one Reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

Speaker 3 One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

Speaker 3 One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is an incredible comedian.
He's got a new special out called On the Road on his YouTube channel. It is Dan Soder.
Dan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thanks for having me, guys. Thank you for coming by.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We were talking about it before.

Speaker 1 I mean, we love all comedians. We love comedy, but we have a special spot in our heart for comedians that like sports.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I feel like there's a lot of comedians out there that either like sports and don't talk about it, or they're like, I don't even watch those things. Yeah, you get...

Speaker 1 You get the guys that don't like sports are, they make you feel bad for liking sports. Yeah, right.
Where they're like, oh, you just, oh, you just want to talk about sports.

Speaker 1 But then the the camaraderie of like, I can call Bargettzi, Shane, Big J, and we can just talk sports. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, when you're on the road, I know if Nate's calling me, he'll be like, there's a game on.

Speaker 1 Dude, the funniest Nate one, I was in San Diego doing a show, and I was just like getting lunch, and I'm on the phone with Nate, and we're just talking, and he's like, oh,

Speaker 1 did you see who the Colts drafted? And I'm like, no, dude, I'm getting lunch. And he's like, you're not watching the fifth round?

Speaker 1 Nate, I'm not going to watch the fifth round of the draft. It was like an insta-consequent.
I was like, no, dude, I'm out having lunch. And he's like, I thought you liked sports, man.

Speaker 6 Dude, no. So he bumped you down in his list of guys.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, you're a chick.

Speaker 1 But he really had like that father that was disappointed. Like, I thought you would be watching late-round draft picks.

Speaker 1 You're like, no, I wait for, you know, I wait for it to fill out online to see who, and then I go look up the guys. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I thought you were raised better than that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you cared. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So who are your teams?

Speaker 1 My dad's from the Bay Area. So I was born into the the 49ers Giants.

Speaker 1 And then when I was about 10 years old, the Warriors broke up, run TMC. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I chose the Nuggets because I lived in Denver with my mom. And so I was like, I need a Denver team, and I wasn't going to do Broncos.
Rockies were in the NL West when they were created. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I was like, oh, so I'm Niners, Giants, Nuggets.

Speaker 6 And it must be pretty nice for you the last couple of years.

Speaker 1 Well, dude. Except for the Niners.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's been nice, but not great. But Nuggets has been...
After Mello left, it was so crushing that I was like, we're never going to get another superstar.

Speaker 1 And I jokingly was like, what are we going to get

Speaker 1 a crusty European? And then we got the coolest, fun European. Yes.
The best player in the world. Best player in the world.
One of the best big men of all time.

Speaker 6 This got to be the guy that was like, I knew he was different the second we got him.

Speaker 1 I loved it. You got drafted during a Taco Bell commercial.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Big ques.

Speaker 1 Yeah, big quesrito. He plays, I always say this.
Jokic plays basketball like he's in the pool with his kids. Like he's wading above the water and he's like just putting it above him.

Speaker 1 Just the way he puts it back in his shot. He does.
He like floats above everyone else. Yeah, he plays pool basketball.
And people are scratching at him. Yeah.
His kids are on his back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's like, he gets out looking like he played pool basketball with his arms all fucking mangled. You can just see his wife going, burgers are ready.
Like, hold on, one more shove.

Speaker 1 You got a triple-double. Does he actually own cats?

Speaker 6 Because he looks like just with his arms. It's like he's always picking up a cat that doesn't want to be picked up.

Speaker 1 Well, he's that pasty kind of white where I bet you could just go like like that, and then it'll show. Yeah, he's got the marks and everything after every single game.
He's got chubby cousin arms.

Speaker 1 Yes, he's got his brothers.

Speaker 6 His brothers rock, too. Dude, his brother.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something about Jokic's brothers. They are my favorite fans in the audience because I don't know.
Remember the year that the Sun swept the nuggets? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Devin Booker kind of got into it with Jokic, and his brothers were ready to go. Yes.
They also harass Mike Malone in a way where they like shake him. Did you see him swear

Speaker 1 the championship? Shut him up. The Jokic family, all they want to do is go race horses, and they just happen to be, Jokic just happens to be one of the greatest NBA players.
And it is crazy.

Speaker 1 Like, Jokic, he is one of those guys that if he was, obviously, his height made him, you know, like, all right, I'm going to go play basketball.

Speaker 1 But you could tell that, like, he kind of wishes he was shorter just so he could be a jockey. Yeah.
Like, he's like, I kind of wish I could just ride horses.

Speaker 1 The way jockeys are like, I want to be a regular size man.

Speaker 1 Jokic is like, why? Do I have to be chi? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I always see his horses, and I'm like, God, I feel so bad for you.

Speaker 1 Like, they're pulling him in this chariot. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's like 320 pounds.

Speaker 1 And he's the whole time. Fuck this.
He's like, I wish I was smaller. And they're looking over at other people and they're like, you got such an easy job as a horse.

Speaker 1 My favorite was when they won the championship and they're giving the press conference and they're like, are you going to go to the parade? And he's like, when is parade? Yeah. They're like Tuesday.

Speaker 1 He goes, I want to go home.

Speaker 1 And then he got drunk at the parade and he goes, I know I say I don't like parade. I fucking love parade.
I have that clip on my phone because it makes me so happy.

Speaker 1 As a Nuggets fan, when you grew up a Nuggets fan, you're just like, well, we're never going to win a championship.

Speaker 1 We had the 09 team with George Carl and the Thuggets that lost in the Western Conference Finals to Kobe's Lakers with Trevor Ariza. And we were like, that's it.
That's the closest we're going to get.

Speaker 1 And then this team, you're just like, we tied a franchise record this year of wins.

Speaker 1 I'm really hoping it. And Lakers fans are doing a lot of this.
And it's kind of like, I hope we smack you.

Speaker 1 Well, that was the weirdest series ever last year where everyone was like, the Lakers, man, they took it to the Nuggets. You got swept.
Got swept. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 Also, as a Nuggets fan, it was poetic because the day we swept the Lakers was the day Carmelo retired. Ooh.
And you're kind of like, yeah, bud. Yeah.
What's up? Oh, there ain't shit in Denver, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How's that feel?

Speaker 1 How's the breeze hitting your ring finger? Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's just nice because they're a fun team, too.

Speaker 6 I love it.

Speaker 1 I mean, I love Jamal Murray. I love Aaron Gordon.
That Aaron Gordon trade changed everything for us. But I do miss Bruce Brown.
I wish we still had Bruce Brown.

Speaker 1 I'm glad he got paid in Indiana, but he was like a guy that would come off the bench and you're like, oh, our starters can rest. Yeah.
Like, he just energized the whole team.

Speaker 1 I also like how he handled that after the championship.

Speaker 6 He was like, yeah, I'm coming back. And Malone was like, yeah, he's coming back.
We're going to keep him together. And then he gets an offer.
He's like, yeah, I'm not.

Speaker 1 And he got tricked down $80 million.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was awesome. You know, and I don't think Nuggets fans, when he came back for his ring, like, it was like an emotional night.

Speaker 1 Denver fans were like, yeah, we love you. Because we knew how important he was for that ring.
And then the other part of it is that Patrick Mahomes owns your life. Dude.
He's a thief of joy.

Speaker 1 I mean, we've talked about it before. He's so good good at stealing joy.
He really is.

Speaker 1 That was the best 49er team since 1994. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was the complete 49er team. And

Speaker 1 it just hurt so much. Now, here's the thing.
2019, I got to go to both Super Bowls. I was very lucky.

Speaker 1 I got to go to both Super Bowls. 2019, the reason that hurt so much was because McDaniel was the run game coordinator.
And it's just like...

Speaker 1 You just feel it's so insane that your middle school best friend is on. I grew up in Denver, a 49ers fan, so I'm an outsider already.
But then my friend from middle school's on the Niners,

Speaker 1 creating this unbelievable offense, helping create this unbelievable offense. And it's like, oh, this is

Speaker 1 perfect. This is like heaven.
Your whole life is coming together in this moment. And then they

Speaker 1 lost. And Patrick Mahomes.
And then Patrick Mahomes. So this year, Michael Che got us tickets.
And so, like, Shane, shout out Shane Gillis.

Speaker 1 Shane was like, you can crash in my hotel room, which is half the battle. Yeah, especially in Vegas.
In Vegas. It's a nightmare to begin with.
Right.

Speaker 1 But he was like, listen, he was out there with Bud Light. He had Super Bowl tickets.
He's like, I got you. You can crash in my room, which was huge.
And then Shay was like, I got us tickets.

Speaker 1 So immediately I'm like, I'm lucky. All I have to pay for is plane tickets and dinner and drinks if we go out.

Speaker 1 Lose that game in overtime, which was just almost worse, dragging it out

Speaker 1 with the ups and downs, coin flip.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of problems. But what made it awesome, like the saving grace, was as I was telling you on the act, leaving a Super Bowl when your team loses, you're just so beat up and defeated.

Speaker 1 You know, Katie has gone to a bunch of Super Bowls, and she was, she told me, because she got me tickets to 2019, and she said, it hurts more when your team loses.

Speaker 1 It's worse if your team wins, it's not as, it's not, it's like

Speaker 1 it's the traveling. Like, I've gone to a couple of Rose Bowls and lost both of them.
When you, when you walk out of a stadium and you're like, I'm so far from home, and all I want to do is be home.

Speaker 1 Nailed it. Yeah.
So we leave, and Che and I are leaving with all these sad 49ers fans, and we're going back to the strip. And Che is like, I don't know, you want to get dinner?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, yeah, let's get dinner. And so we go to, he's like, I ate at this steakhouse at my hotel.

Speaker 1 Everywhere, you couldn't get dinner because it was like, it's Vegas. The Super Bowl let out.

Speaker 1 No place is like, yeah, we're not taking walk-ins. You have to have a reservation.
We go to this steakhouse, and they're like, oh, Michael Che, he had ate there earlier.

Speaker 1 They're like, do you want to get a table? And he's like, yeah, sure. They get us, they put us at a table in the back next to Vince Vaughn.
Oh, hell yeah. And Vince Vaughn knows Che.

Speaker 1 So we start talking to Vince Vaughn, and he's like, Vince Vawning. Yeah.
He's like, who are you guys? Like the Niners? They're great. Brock Purdy, you got to feel good about that.

Speaker 1 You got a quarterback that can do it.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, it was literally lifting my spirits when I was like, okay, this is fucking phenomenal. I'm getting like old school Vince Vaughan right now.
He's like, come on, baby.

Speaker 1 You guys had a good defense. You guys might be back next year.

Speaker 1 He is. He does have an origin.
We We were lucky enough to stand next to him, just next to him in the LSU, Alabama game. And I think he, like, he turned to us and asked us a question about like

Speaker 1 something about a pass or something. We answered it and we're like, fuck, we just, yeah, we told Vince Vaughn.
We know ball. Yeah, we told him.
We know ball. We know ball.

Speaker 6 He didn't understand like one of the rules.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. College art.

Speaker 1 I love that. We fucking know ball.
This fucking rock.

Speaker 6 It must suck to be Vince Vaughan in Vegas, though, because everybody just comes in.

Speaker 1 Vegas baby. Can you just say Vegas baby to me? Yeah, but dude, I'm telling you, that was like a gift from God just to be like, here you go.
Here's it. Because then the rest of the trip was horrible.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you had a place to sit down and decompress after the game. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay, we can go have fun.

Speaker 1 And we commiserated, and then I just went back to the hotel and packed and waited for my early flight. So, where do you rank Brock Purdy? It's the funnest thing that we get to do.

Speaker 1 Every game, it's funny. As far as what?

Speaker 1 Quarterbacks. He's unbelievable.
So is he top five?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think he's top five. Here's the thing about Brock Purdy.
I think he's,

Speaker 1 you know, talent-wise, I think like actual arm, speed, all that, maybe not. He's just got this dog mentality.
He's got this winner mentality. And I remember watching the game last season,

Speaker 1 the season that he went down against the Eagles. They were playing the Raiders.
You guys would have beaten the Eagles. If he was healthy? Yeah.
He smoked him. That's turning into a sweet rivalry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, our producer over there is a Philly Die Hard Philly. I mean, he just shook his head violently.
Well,

Speaker 1 they decided Devontae

Speaker 1 till 2028. He just went like this.
But guess what? We still got Debo. Yeah.
Debo is what killed him. Yeah.
But Brock did this move against the Raiders because I watched Jimmy. I was like a Jimmy guy.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'll turn around. It's all right.
He overthrew him. So what? But Jimmy would just take sacks.
Yeah. And then Brock...
They were playing the Raiders and Max Crosby just came through.

Speaker 1 And Brock just did this one move and sidearmed it to CMC. And it was like a 45-yard gain.

Speaker 1 And you're like, that was the one play where I was like, this guy can just do, it's what Russ used to do for Seattle. You just get, just extend that play three more seconds, and someone gets open.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But he throws dimes.
Yeah. I mean, you know, the Niners need to sign Ayuk.
I know that they're like, oh, there's trade talks. A lot of guys you got to sign.
This is it.

Speaker 1 I think this is the season. This is it? Because I think after this season, you're looking at like six or seven guys that need to get re-signed that are clutch for the team.

Speaker 1 This is why you should take the strategy of the Bears and the Commanders. Just never get good players.
Because then you don't have to resign them. You guys got Adam Peters.
That's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 That guy was in New England with Belichick.

Speaker 1 He helped build that Broncos team to win the Super Bowl, and he was a sneaky weapon for the 49ers. He's what I love Adam Peters.

Speaker 1 And he's already making moves that you're like, commanders are going to start upsetting a lot of people in the NFC.

Speaker 6 He's great in the draft. He helped build the Courier team.

Speaker 1 He's a good dude.

Speaker 1 He's like...

Speaker 1 Honestly, when I saw him go to Washington, I was like, damn,

Speaker 1 that's the effect of not having a Dan Snyder. Now you're going to start getting a good GM.
You got an owner that gets out of the way that can fund them. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Our strategy right now is just to collect guys. We're collecting dudes.
We're hiring people that don't even work in our office.

Speaker 1 Smart dudes.

Speaker 6 We're just like, oh, that guy's smart. Okay.
Oh, that guy's an announcer for the NBA on TV. Doesn't matter.
He's a smart guy. We're going to hire him.

Speaker 1 And that's actually the thing that I don't understand why more owners don't do.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, man, watching, you know, and Jed York did that when he brought in Kyle and John Lynch, where he did this thing where he's like, hey, I'm signing them to the same amount of deals.

Speaker 1 So they're kind of tethered to each other. Yeah.
So they have to work together.

Speaker 1 And then you saw the Niners kind of build up and be like, and get small pieces like Kittle. And then you start getting like Fred Warner and you start drafting right.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, okay, these guys are building a locker room. Then you get like Obosa and you get like big guys, but you start building that like base.

Speaker 1 And some of these guys turn into unbelievable superstars.

Speaker 6 So you mentioned Mike McDaniel. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You grew up with him.

Speaker 6 You were best friends with him in middle school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was my guy, dude.

Speaker 6 You know that he was going to be a coach? Was that always his thing?

Speaker 1 Nah, I just knew he was going to be involved with the NFL somehow. He was just like, he was good at football.
He's just an undersized receiver.

Speaker 1 He went and played at Yale, but his football intelligence was off the charts. Always.

Speaker 1 Always very smart. Always knew.
He'd read like

Speaker 1 the press books of each team, especially the Broncos. He was like super into the Broncos.
So I got to go to that Miami Broncos game. And that was

Speaker 1 awesome. That was incredible.
My friend Chad, me and my friend Chad go to every game.

Speaker 1 We go to Dolphins games together. We went to the the KC game.
We go support McDaniel. And he's a seasoned ticket holder for the Broncos.

Speaker 1 And as the ass whooping's going on, Katie kind of busts Chad's balls. And she goes, Chad, how you feeling? And he goes, something can be beautiful and tragic at the same time.

Speaker 1 I mean, they were just getting wrong.

Speaker 6 I wanted that game to get worse.

Speaker 6 I mean, I wanted 100 points on the scoreboard.

Speaker 1 But he did the thing where he had the knife at their throat and then he went, nah, no, no, no. And I love that.
And that just kind of shows you, like, Mike's like, nah, we need good karma.

Speaker 1 You know, we're going to move forward. So would you, if it was 49ers, Dolphins, in the Super Bowl? I pleaded the fifth.
Really? Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. It's a win-win.

Speaker 1 If you want my honest to God reaction, that's one of my oldest friends in the world. Right.
I'd want the Dolphins. Yeah.
I'd want him to win. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But best case scenario, if they would lose, the Niners still win.

Speaker 6 Yeah, great if the Niners won a Super Bowl and then you played the Dolphins in the Super Bowl. So you're like, yeah, I got one.

Speaker 1 You got one. Exactly.
That's exactly how I want. That's probably the dream scenario.
Niners win the Super Bowl. Dolphins go,

Speaker 1 if they play the Niners, then they win.

Speaker 6 You remember when you got caught vaping on the sidelines?

Speaker 1 Dude, I was sitting next to his wife. That was awesome.

Speaker 1 I was in Buffalo, and I'm on Twitter, and I see that, and I show it, and you see his wife go,

Speaker 1 I think you just vaped. And she goes, damn it.

Speaker 1 Because they won't ever talk about it. You know, NFL, they like block them from actually talking like real or whatever.

Speaker 1 You got caught, dude. You got screwed up.

Speaker 1 But who wouldn't want, dude? You're coaching with your third string quarterback taking on one of the best teams in the AFC.

Speaker 1 And you're in the game. You're in the game.
Yeah. Whack a vape.
Yeah. Hit one.
Let them start smoking cigarettes, dude. It was crazy that they were in that game.
It was nuts. Skylar Thompson.

Speaker 1 Skylpson. Skylar Thompson was the quarterback, and they were in it, dude.

Speaker 6 And then Frank left early.

Speaker 1 Remember that? Frank left early for the tank. I was on a flight with him on the way back.
What was that like? Oh. I mean, I was on the same flight from him back to New York from Buffalo.

Speaker 1 Did you leave the game early? I had to. I had to catch my flight.
Yeah, he left early.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing. Like, I kind of knew knew that was going to happen.
Right.

Speaker 1 So, what's cool about being friends with the head coaches, they like can give you a staff member to be like, all right, because I had to go to the van, I had to get my suitcase and my stuff, and then go to the thing.

Speaker 1 And you were like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And it was nuts.

Speaker 1 But it happened where the game was out of reach when I left.

Speaker 1 Do you realize you may at some point have to be the peacemaker between Frank and Mike? Because Frank, he goes hard at his teams. Well, I have a, listen, man.

Speaker 1 If you're a sports fan, you know about bookmarking tweets. Yeah.
Oh. And he said some nasty shit about McDaniel

Speaker 1 after they lost that Chiefs game. And I was at that Chiefs game.
Yeah. And he said some nasty shit, and I bookmarked him.

Speaker 1 You bookmark Frank? Dude, you don't come after my friend. Yeah, but it's Frank.
I know it's Frank. He's also like, he's undefeated on the internet.

Speaker 1 Like, if you go after him, you're going to lose. Well, no, I also, I like Frank.
Yeah, right. So I would broker that piece.
I would broker that piece deal. The unfortunate part is he doesn't,

Speaker 1 you can broker a piece, but it won't stick. Like, I brokered a piece with him and Scott Van Pelt.
It lasted maybe two days. And then he was like, fuck it, Van Pelt.

Speaker 1 But I know if McDaniel takes the Dolphins far, he'll forever have

Speaker 1 a piece of Frank's heart. Yes.
Oh, yeah. That's what I mean.
Even if they get to an AFC championship,

Speaker 1 a Super Bowl, even if it doesn't complete it, I know Frank will be like, because Dolphins fans want a playoff win. They want a playoff win.
They want to run. And I think McDaniel's going to do that.

Speaker 6 How bad did that suck being at that game in Kansas City? Dude, it was...

Speaker 1 How cold was was it? It was. People died.

Speaker 6 There was that house that like five people got locked out of.

Speaker 1 Can you figure out what happened with that? Yeah, well, someone was drunk.

Speaker 1 But then someone was like, my husband didn't take drugs. It was so cold, it was laughable.
You went outside and you're like, this is nuts. What are we doing?

Speaker 1 Don't let him do this. Yeah.
Like, don't let him do this. Also, what's crazy was it was like the Browns Houston game was the day game, and you're like, flip it, NFL.
Why are you letting the graze?

Speaker 1 You're you're letting the night game be the warm weather city houston's inside i think yeah so you're like what are you doing it was the windshield was like minus 40 dude i have a picture with me and mike's father-in-law on the field at arrowhead and the thermometer was broken oh it just was like doing that thing where you know time travel movies yeah where it's like

Speaker 1 it was like that on the thermometer it was nuts i saw the dolphins uniform that night and i was like they're not winning this weather yeah dude it was dude uh mahomes' helmet cracked yeah it was insane yeah let me just say something i've been to a lot of playoff playoff games where we've lost or whatever.

Speaker 1 Chiefs fans,

Speaker 1 they're not cool. Not cool after you lose.
Oh, really? Bills fans. Bills fans.
It's a division rival.

Speaker 1 You lose, they go, hey, you know, it's good season or whatever. Chiefs fans, they pop champagne, they go, like, eh, Chiefs Kingdom.
You're the bad guys now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, just so you know that, Chiefs fans, you're the bad guys now. Mahomes is.
And I am saying that because they lost two seasons. Well, Mahomes has changed like an entire region.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like they walk around with the confidence because why wouldn't you? It's Mahomes.

Speaker 1 So, in Miami, when they beat the Niners in 2019, I was, you know, rocking my Niner hat at the airport the next day, and this old lady that was a Chiefs fan was like, ah, come on, that was our first in 50 years.

Speaker 1 And you go, like, true, I'll give you that. But then they keep going.
I know. It's the Duke.
It's the Duke curse. It's like you go to the finals too many times.

Speaker 1 People are like, we're sick of seeing you.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like Hank, our producer, he walks around with a sense of entitlement because he's a Patriots fan.

Speaker 1 That's changing now. He didn't expect Tom Brady.
He's in the draft. Yeah, Yeah, he didn't explain it to him.

Speaker 6 Tom Brady is like a direct reflection of him.

Speaker 1 And listen, I understand this because it's rich kid brain. It's like you grow up with like servants and stuff, and you're like, well, the servants bring me food.
I grew up a Niners fan.

Speaker 1 Dude, up until 2002, my only thought every season was, who are we going to play in the NFC Championship? Yeah. It was like, we're winning the West.
We're going to go to the NFC Championship game.

Speaker 1 And then that complete destruction of the franchise, you have this moment where you go like, what? Where you're going 2-14. It was like when we went 2 and 14 to draft Alex Smith.

Speaker 1 And you're like, we have the number one pick? That's disgusting. We usually pick 25 or later.
Do you miss Harbaugh a little? He's

Speaker 1 Harbaugh's the best.

Speaker 1 He is very fun for a couple seasons. Yeah.
But then you see why he was a great college coach is because they leave. Yeah, I know.
Because the 49ers, it started.

Speaker 1 grinding the gears of people where they're like, all right, with the raw-rah shit. Like,

Speaker 1 we're pros. I think John, that's why John's successful because he's like a dialed-down genius.
Yeah, but I think they're, I think, Chargers will be good right away. They're going to be good.

Speaker 1 They're going to be instant contenders in the AAF West. Yeah.

Speaker 9 That's the sound of extremely processed dog food, which is the norm at most pet food companies. But at the Farmer's Dog, we do things differently.
We gently cook our food without ultra-processing.

Speaker 9 It's developed by our team of board-certified nutritionists, made to human-grade safety standards, and portioned for your dog, then delivered right to your door how does that sound to you get 50 off your first box available only at thefarmersdog.com

Speaker 10 hey this is ria from chicks in the office and this season we're heading home for the holidays with abercrombie and fitch we all know our calendars are about to get chaotic for non-stop plans abercrombie has the pieces to curate your perfect seasonal wardrobe sweaters and denim for casual plans party dresses for nights out and comfy matching sets for everything in between.

Speaker 10 Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie. Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 1 All right, your special. So I watched it this morning on the road.
So you did it on YouTube, which I love because I feel like I was late to the party, man. I should have been doing this.
Really?

Speaker 1 I should have been doing this. I did an HBO special in 2019 before the pandemic.
It was like...

Speaker 1 I got to do the classic HBO special, and then I should have been putting stuff out since then on YouTube. Yeah.
And it, because I did it, and and I immediately was like, damn, all right.

Speaker 1 Because it feels like everyone's doing that now. And you guys get, you know, you don't have to have any notes.
You can just put out your content. It's direct to the fans.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And people could share it. Yeah.
And it was very funny.

Speaker 1 I, the, the beginning of it, not to ruin it because I want people to go watch it, but talking about how you just were, you wish you were a little bit dumber. Yeah.
I, that I can relate to so much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I suffer from anxiety a lot, and I think it's because, like, if my brain was a little bit dumber, I would just be like, oh, cool, man.

Speaker 1 We talk about it it because I think PFT and I, we're not dumb, but we're... I always say that I'm in that spot where I know that Malcolm Gladwell is full of shit, but I can't tell you why.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, I'm just enough. You're bar trivia somewhere.
Yeah, right. Like, I'm smart enough to know what dumb looks like, but I'm not smart enough to explain what it is.

Speaker 1 I can feel smart when I'm playing.

Speaker 1 trivia at a bar. Yeah.
I can feel smart certain topics, but most stuff, like classical stuff, I'm very stupid.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and like a sweet category on Jeopardy, you're like, I look like a genius. Also, it sucks to, if you're smart enough to realize how dumb you are.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 You know, that's where you run into problems.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I just know, like, man, if it was just a little bit more. Little bit, a little bit, yeah, like just a little bit where I could just

Speaker 1 feel happier. And then I would just be like, oh, no worries.
Yeah. Like, and I said that in the special, like, really hot people are just kind of like, it's going to work out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, damn, I'd love to be that. You know what it is?

Speaker 1 It's appropriate for like right now in in time when it's like World War III happens every other week. And it's like, I'm smart enough that I'm like, I should probably read up on this.

Speaker 1 And then my reading up on it is like a 10 tweet.

Speaker 1 I'm like, all right, I got it. Yeah, you find a good thread.

Speaker 1 I think I kind of know what's going on. Right.
Where it's like, if I was just a little dumber, I'd be like, I don't care. Yeah, like my opinions about sports are never

Speaker 1 like ironclad. Like, if they're like, no, that actually wasn't going to happen.
I'd be like, ah, yeah, you're probably right. I'm very easy to go, yeah, I'm wrong.
Yeah. Like, I'll admit I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 That's the kind of dumb I am where I'm like, it felt like I was right, but I could see that you were right.

Speaker 6 It felt good to me at the time. Or if you smoke like just the right amount of weeds,

Speaker 6 then you dumb yourself down a little bit and you're like, oh, everything's cool. I'm not thinking about anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just kind of like, and then if you smoke too much weed, you're like, oh, I'm thinking about everything. Yeah.
That's probably the weight of the world is crushing me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. True.
It's true. Exactly.

Speaker 6 I love you on Billions. Thanks, man.
Great on Billions.

Speaker 6 Are you familiar that you and I shared a billing one episode? Did we really? Me and Cece Sabathia. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I remember with you.
Yeah. Holy shit.

Speaker 6 I think they added me in at the last second. Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 And then, um, did you have fun on set? Yeah, it was great.

Speaker 6 It was actually right at the start of the pandemic, which was weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were doing it. It was like episode, I want to say like

Speaker 1 505.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And maybe that,

Speaker 1 I might nail it on the

Speaker 1 IMDb. On the IMDB, but I feel it's like it was episode five of season five.

Speaker 6 It was great, but it was, it was so weird because it was right when it was starting.

Speaker 6 So they had everybody kind of sequestered with masks on and you could only take your mask off off while they were shooting.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn, you were doing it when we did you do it when we came back from the pandemic?

Speaker 6 I think it was like one of the first episodes that you did back. It was directed by, oh, shit, what's his name?

Speaker 1 Played Gabe on

Speaker 6 America.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 David Costable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who plays Wags? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were like episode six or seven because we were filming episode five.

Speaker 1 The night Rudy Gobert hit all the mics.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that was crazy night.

Speaker 1 And they canceled. So I left.
It was like a night shoot. We were like shooting at the studio at night, and it was Nuggets Mavericks.
I remember that. I was like, oh, Nuggets, Mavs.
I'm mad.

Speaker 1 I'm going to miss this game. And then I got a text from Katie, and she's like, they canceled the Nuggets game.
And I was like, what? And then it was Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks had COVID.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, oh, and dude, we were broke for dinner at like midnight. And one of the crew guys goes, you know, there's an old Chinese curse that says, may you live in interesting times.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, that's crazy. And then the world shut down.

Speaker 1 And I was like, you son of a bitch. But when you came back, that was with the shields, the masks.
Yeah. You could only take it off for

Speaker 1 the shot. Yeah.
And then put it back on.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but everybody on the set was so nice. I just, I think about, like, you mentioned you did a stand-up special in 2019.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you go back and watch that and you're like, my entire set is outdated now? Yeah, it's so much shit happened.

Speaker 1 Well, it's crazy. I lost my sense of smell because of COVID.
I completely lost it, which I'm doing a joke about now. And in that special, I talk about smelling people.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, that's crazy. I can't even do that.

Speaker 1 Like, that was back in the day where the honker worked. Now it doesn't.
But yeah, it was, that was interesting to come back.

Speaker 1 And then as time went on and it relaxed, by the end, by the last season, it was like back to kind of like what it was for the first five seasons. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Did you have to, did you study like finance bros to figure out how to act?

Speaker 1 I waited on them for five years. So I was in the shit with them.
Like I worked at a Mexican restaurant in Midtown right by Black, it was by Lehman Brothers, Blackstone, all those guys.

Speaker 1 And they would come in and just be dickheads. So that was kind of like, oh, I know how they act.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you guys nailed the vests, by the way.

Speaker 1 The fleece vests.

Speaker 1 Dollar Bill's vests is unbelievable. Yeah, and that was like, you know, Kelly O'Coyne, who plays Dollar Bill, huge sports guy.
So it's great when we would be on set. He's a huge Trailblazers fan.

Speaker 1 And that was when the Nuggets Trailblazers were kind of having their rivalry into the bubble and then out. Yeah.
And it was like fun to be like talking shit, being like, oh, dude, we got it.

Speaker 1 And we did a boxing episode where we boxed each other. And that was at the height of the Blazers-Nuggets rivalry.
And it was was fun. Did you think you did a good job boxing?

Speaker 1 Did you have to train for it? Yeah, we had to go.

Speaker 1 We like went and like learned how to do footwork, even though we're sloppy as hell. Because there's nothing worse than watching a sports movie and being like, that guy's never shot a basketball.

Speaker 1 But what they, we, we worked with the trainer who trained Hillary Swank for Million Dollar Baby. Okay.
And, but the fun part was you read the script and you're like, oh, we suck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So this is going to be easy. Yeah.
But then I accidentally broke Kelly's rib.

Speaker 1 Like, because they're like, they're like, throw punches and I threw one and just bah. It's got to feel good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I used to feel bad for the rest of the thing. But that episode was awesome because we had like Rich Eisen and Bob Menery and like you had Steve Miotic and Dante Wilder and Deontay Wilder.

Speaker 1 And it was like all these cool people in one location. But with billions, sometimes you don't know the famous people.
Like they have like finance people that are famous.

Speaker 1 And so I'm just chilling on that boxing episode talking to this old guy. Just having a bullshit conversation.

Speaker 1 And he walks away and David Levine, one of the creators, goes, you know, it's the guy that shorted Enron. And I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 And I was just being like, yeah, it was pretty good dim sum down the street. Being an idiot.

Speaker 6 No, the cameos in that show are always strong. You got Metallica was on there.
Yeah, they did season one. Cuban's been on there.
Yeah, Cuban.

Speaker 1 Cuban's done it a couple times. There's been some really cool ones.
And also, like, Coppelman is like friendly with JJ Reddick. Yeah.
So Reddick would come by set when we were filming in Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 And that was cool because he's my age. And I went to Arizona and he was at Duke.
And it was kind of like, I got to be like, oh, Salim Stodemeyer, I thought should have been Player of the Year.

Speaker 1 I probably shouldn't have. He's like talking shit back.
Like, that's awesome.

Speaker 6 JJ probably gets it all the time. Like, people that meet him, they're like, I fucking hate you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dude, he's so cool.
Yeah, I know he is. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we've had him on a few times. He actually was my neighbor in Brooklyn.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he was like, it's awesome when you have an athlete that you cheer against and you meet and you're like, ah, you're a good dude. Yeah.
Like, I bet Mahomes is a great dude. Oh, he's the best.

Speaker 1 It actually makes me mad. I wish he was like, and it's crazy, too, because like, you know, his family's had some things.
And it's like, but he's, and he rides with his family.

Speaker 1 You're like, god damn it, you're a fucking winner, and you're yeah, so it's like you meet those people, and you're like, all right, and then you go back to sports, and you're like, fuck you, though, yeah, put the uniform on, yeah, but we always talk about this.

Speaker 6 If we had, if, if one of us rooted for a team that had Patrick Mahomes, this show would suck, yeah, because no one wants to listen to

Speaker 1 winners.

Speaker 6 Once you win a lot, then you do become, like you said, you become the guy that is now like looking down on everyone.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, I wish you could. And honestly, I think, like, look what happened to the city of Boston.
You know, my in-laws are from Boston, and every a lot of my close friends are from Boston.

Speaker 1 In 04, Boston was the most cheered for city from the outside in.

Speaker 1 And then they had the run of the greatest sports run a city probably has ever had with not only the Patriots, but the Red Sox, Celtics, and the Bruins.

Speaker 1 And you're kind of like, you guys are championship city. And then now they're starting to come back down to earth where you're like, all right, I'm starting to like Boston again.

Speaker 1 I can cheer for him now. Like the Celtics team, you're like, all right, I kind of want to see him do something.
It is funny, yeah, watching Hank come to grips with it. I said it.

Speaker 1 He literally, like, because I have the first pick he has a second pick hank has a third pick and we were talking about the draft and he thought he could trade up to one and not give up three oh you're like no dude we're like no that's not how it works

Speaker 1 you've never been up this high

Speaker 1 especially bears fans yeah it's like i think i would honestly put commanders you guys are going to be coming back i think you're a team that like everyone's got to reset on yeah realize that snyder's not there for

Speaker 1 a couple years yeah yeah i would say the bears are in a very similar position as the browns in the bills bills are starting to get good where you're like, all right, you guys are good and you have too much.

Speaker 1 But like Bears and Browns, I could see myself if you guys go to the playoffs and the Niners get knocked out being like, let's go, Bears. And Caleb Williams, I think, is going to piss everyone off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You think so?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. He's the first Gen Z quarterback.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How upset? What if Justin Fields goes to Pittsburgh? Oh, it's going to happen. And just Rick.
Oh, he's going to be awesome. Are you serious? Dude, he's going to be a good one.

Speaker 1 One or two years after Russ? Yeah, no, he's going to be sick. Yeah, he's going to be sick.
Of course he's going to be sick. When the Niners drafted Trey Lance,

Speaker 1 so I was like, you know, McDaniel was still there. He's the OC.
And I was like, who are you taking? And he's like, who do you want? I was like, Justin Fields.

Speaker 1 And he was like, well, I'm not going to tell you who I'm.

Speaker 1 It was like a day before the draft. And I was like, oh, no, I want Justin Fields.
I liked him. I thought he was so good.
And I didn't think he got a fair shake in Chicago. He did not.

Speaker 1 People don't talk the Mitch trade-up.

Speaker 6 Solomon Thomas was a bust.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we traded you guys. I tried to do a whole thing where I was like, why aren't we talking about Solomon Thomas? Yeah.
Like, this fucking sucked for the 45.

Speaker 1 You guys gave away so much much to get your bins. So much.
Because I think we turned a couple of those picks into good shape. Oh, of course you did.
Like the later pick. Oh, of course.

Speaker 1 Listen, Shanahan is dangerous. Yeah.
Third, fourth round. He's going to get somebody in the third or fourth round that you're like, oh, shit, this guy turned out to be unbelievable.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's what I love about the front office of Lynch and Shanahan is they do really well in the draft. Yeah.
They pick up people. And I think McDaniel's unbelievable at the draft.

Speaker 6 Are you still like real high on Kyle?

Speaker 1 I love Kyle. I mean, I just, you know what I mean? He's starting to wear it, though

Speaker 1 oh yeah he's gray like this the pictures he's got president face yeah you know how they used to show Obama before and after yeah he's he's Abraham Lincoln after the Civil War yeah just like dude you can't take any more of these losses I think he but I love that Andy Reid said that to him where he goes you just keep going and it'll go because I think Kyle is such yeah that's nice the guy who just has won threes he's like don't worry like fuck you leave it with your girl and he's like you'll find true love you'll get to Mahomes yeah he gets better Kyle yeah it gets better

Speaker 1 I think uh Kyle is an unbelievable. Oh, he's incredible.
And I think what he's done with the 49ers organization, I think we're like, I think this is it. I think it's like

Speaker 1 this is the season or

Speaker 1 we have to enter a rebuilding phase. I just think it's like win or die.

Speaker 6 The thing is, if Kyle was on the open market as a head coach,

Speaker 6 there would be like 30 teams. You'd want him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You'd want him. He makes running the football sexy.
Yeah. Like, it doesn't happen anymore.
Like, the moves. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what's fun is watching McDaniel get a chance now to implement that run game in Miami with A-Chain and guys like he brought Fred Wilson Jr. and he had, you know, Raheem Mostert is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 And Mostert was in San Francisco with him.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, I'm excited to see McDaniel's influence bleed into the Dolphins because they have some high octane players, but McDaniel's talent is scouting. Like he's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 You know, he loved, like, when he went to the 49ers, there was kind of this thing where he was like, I get one player in the offseason, he told me.

Speaker 1 He's like, I get to tell Kyle one guy that I'm like, rock. And he came in the first year and got Kyle Uzchek.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 He's like, I want Uzchek out of Baltimore. And I would say he's one of the most important 49ers of the last 20 years.
Yeah. Yeah.
Kyle Uzcheck's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 That's where they got ingled out of Miami.

Speaker 6 Same thing.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 He loves a fullback because he was a ball boy with the Broncos and saw Howard Griffin blocking for Terrell Davis and all those thousand-yard backs. And those, yeah, they ran the ball just like that.

Speaker 1 And that downhill toss.

Speaker 1 And McDaniel implementing like a zone blocking scheme for linemen is, I think, like,

Speaker 1 yeah. I'm excited, man.
I just get, when I talk NFL, I just am like, let it be September. I know, I want it back.
I want it so bad. Run it back.

Speaker 1 This is right around the time where it's like, because every time the football season ends, I'm like, all right, I need a break. This is nice.
Dude, I couldn't two months happen.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I'd like some football. Yeah, I couldn't think of football.
I was so heartbroken. Yeah.
Especially at being like, the Chiefs again. Yeah.
Like, again? Yeah.

Speaker 6 But it was always going to be the Chiefs. Looking back on the season, the Steve.
You always do. Taylor Swift getting involved.
And

Speaker 1 everyone had him written off. Yeah, they get to play the whole like, we're underdog.
But it just sucked because I went and watched him beat the Dolphins and I was like,

Speaker 1 well, whatever. And then I had to watch him beat the Niners again and I was like,

Speaker 1 yeah. I just can't.
I'm done.

Speaker 1 By the way, I'm done. 49ers fans, rest easy.
I will never go to a 49ers Super Bowl again. I will watch it.
Oh. I'm 0-2.
I'm not doing that to the fans. That's huge, actually.

Speaker 1 If I'm the mush, I'm not going. You got to do it.
Yeah, you have to take one for the team. I'm going to watch it home.
Yeah. I'll watch it home from now on.
I'll go to regular season games.

Speaker 1 Hell, I'm pretty good with playoff games. I think I'm like almost undefeated going to Niners playoff games, but I will stay away from the Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 It's better at home, anyways.

Speaker 1 It is. I've done it.
And that loss, dude, the travel, you nailed it. Yeah, it's when you're just, you just walk out of a state and you're like, dude, just put me at home right now.

Speaker 1 I was sitting next to this father and son who are Chiefs fans on the flight home, and they were like giddy about it. And I was like, dude, I hate you guys.

Speaker 1 Like, watching the highlights on their phone, and I was like,

Speaker 1 fuck that.

Speaker 6 When you were on that plane with Frank the Tent, could you hear him yelling about the Mets?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 He just was so sad after that Buffalo game where we were on that flight that I wanted to say something and be like, hey, man, I know. I know.

Speaker 1 And I know he was fired up against the Chiefs because it was like a game where he was like, a lot of calls went wrong or whatever.

Speaker 1 But I was fired up as that's when you become more of a friend than a fan, where you see that where you go, hey, hey, that's my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, when someone stops you, you go like, hey, hey, hey, that's my guy. Your friend just blacks out during games.
And that's that range. Yeah.
And I understand that range. We all have it.

Speaker 6 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 6 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boarshead retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boarshead premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 6 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 All right, so you were mentioning waiting tables. How long were you like trying to make it in comedy? I love the stories of waiting tables.
I mean, dude, I still am. I was just like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I've had some like success, but

Speaker 1 I would say up until like I moved to New York in 2007, and I spent about four years really like grinding waiting tables doing shows at night did you live in a shithole?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I lived in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, but I lived in a windowless room that we turned into a closet

Speaker 1 and it was I was there for like seven years.

Speaker 6 So you wake up at like 2 p.m. And you have no idea what time it is.
Hung over. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I was drinking. Yeah.
It was brutal. No air conditioning.
So I had to take fans and line it up from our air conditioner in the living room like a science project.

Speaker 1 So it blew cold air I mean that has to make you like appreciate everything everything because like that's everything comedians for some reason it's it's you obviously see it with actors but it feels like actors will just go to LA and like the ones that make it or like they go and they make it but you see so many comedians like it happens overnight for actors right they just go like boom like i guess the closest thing for comics would be getting snl or something but watching shane get snl and then get fired but knowing that he had that momentum going it's all about momentum i've watched momentum happen with nate i've watched it with shane i've watched it with a lot of my friends.

Speaker 1 And so I'm in this really great place right now where you're starting to sell out clubs. You're starting to move to theaters.
And you're like, oh, this feels great.

Speaker 1 It also just feels kind of like, all right, I'm having fun doing stand-up. I never thought I would be adding shows.
Yeah. You know, like making good money where you're like, oh, this is fun.

Speaker 1 It's just a lot of fun.

Speaker 6 Is there a small piece of it that kind of misses the shittiness? I miss my friends.

Speaker 1 Because your friends get successful and they move away. They move to Nashville.
They move to Austin. Like, they're gone.

Speaker 1 And you kind of miss being at the bar with them at one in the morning, being like, all right, I got to get up for work, but we're having so much fun. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're just ball busting and just like, yeah, there is like, I think that's just natural with any, I mean, yeah. You know, you guys have gone through it.
You're super successful.

Speaker 1 You remember the days where you're just scratching for anything. Yeah.
And there's kind of like, you miss that, but you don't want to go through it again. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 The climb is

Speaker 1 fun, but it's also when you're in the climb, it can have moments where you're going to be. You're scared.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I remember I would open for Bobby Kelly and I would open for Colin Coyne or whatever. and they'd be like, you're going to be fine.
And I'd be like, dude, you don't understand. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't have money to pay my cell phone bill this month. And they're like, you're going to be fine.
And as it happens, you're like, oh, shit. All right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that moment where it clicks, you're like, oh, this is a career. Yeah.
That's a pretty fucking cool moment. And it's been fun kind of trying to figure out different stuff.

Speaker 1 Like, like figuring out, like putting out the YouTube special. I'm like, damn, I should have done this a while ago.
But it was great now seeing the people be like sharing it.

Speaker 1 people discovering you and being like, oh shit. And then what's fun about, you know, I've been doing comedy about 20 years.
So you're like, oh, there's a backlog. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you can go watch my HBO special. You can go watch my Comedy Central Hour.
You can go watch stuff where you're like, it's like finding out about a band and realizing they have like three albums.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That you're like, oh, I can go, like, I'm a huge Queens of the Stone Age fan.
I love Queens of the Stone Age. Yeah.
And I got into them Songs for the Deaf. Yes.

Speaker 1 And when I got into them, I was like, oh, there's Rated R, Self-Titled, The Beaver Split. There's like a bunch of stuff.
Caius. Have you seen them live? Oh, like probably over 20 times.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I've probably only seen him like five or six. They're unbelievable.
He puts on the best show. Josh is.
He also is like. He's had some run-ins with the law.

Speaker 1 I don't know how he hasn't had more because he just. It's unbelievable.
He challenged some kid to a fight, stopped the whole show. Yeah.
Spotlight. And was like.

Speaker 1 He picks on people that are picking on people. Yeah, right.
Someone threw a shoe and he stopped the whole show, Spotlight, maybe called him a word you can't say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like, get up here and fight me right now. And the kid just like ran away.
There's a clip. You can't find it anymore.
But there's like Queens of the Stones Round Songs for the Deaf.

Speaker 1 They're performing at the Orlando House of Blues.

Speaker 1 and Josh turns around to talk to the drummer, and this like finance bro goes and is like dancing in the middle of the stage, and Josh just straight up 300 kicks him in the back, and then he grabs the mic, and he goes, this is my fucking stage.

Speaker 1 He's classic rock and roll. Like, he's the

Speaker 1 leather jacket, like, fucking just shreds. I could argue they're the best American rock band of the last 40 years.
Yes, I could argue, and I'll go album for album with anybody. Their album.

Speaker 1 Because they evolve. I mean, Times New Roman, their new album, was unbelievable.
I got to see him in New York when they came to Forest Hills and Queens.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go see him again on this tour because now they're like warmed up. Even his side projects.
Dude, I love Eagles of Death Metal. Yeah.
Them crooked vultures, the desert sessions.

Speaker 1 You know what it is? It's the same with anything. It's the same with sports, comedy, music.
It's just a dude that you see love doing it and you're like, I love that you love doing it.

Speaker 1 And it's funny. It's just like, that's my shit.
Queens of the Stone Age, you know, that's my best. Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

Speaker 6 What I like about them is you can listen to any of their albums, and they all sound totally different from each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're always interesting. Well, you want to see people evolve.

Speaker 1 You want to see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work, but then you get to see them try stuff that does work, and you're like, yeah, this shit rules.

Speaker 1 They also pass the test, and it's a very simple test when you put it on in a car, like on a highway, and then you look down, you're like, I'm going 120. Yeah, like

Speaker 1 this rocks. And I know this isn't necessarily legal, but smoking weed and driving through the desert listening to the Queens of the Stone Age.
Yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we went to Detroit last summer and I was like, let's just put on some Queens. And we listened to like two straight albums, and it was just like, we got there fast.

Speaker 6 These people get out of a speeding ticket if you tell them.

Speaker 1 You're like, I was listening to Songs of the Deaf Men. Got it.
All right. Got it.
Then you got this.

Speaker 6 He writes you a ticket. Next time, put on a podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put on something slow.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, I got into them when I was at U of A at Arizona in Tucson. And so you'd be driving around the desert listening to the Queens of the Stone Age, and you're like, that rocks.

Speaker 1 It fits perfectly. Yeah, it's made for me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was unbelievable.

Speaker 6 It was so mysterious and dangerous music.

Speaker 1 I love it, dude. I love it.
And it's like, like you said, it changes. Yeah.
Dude, every album is different. And this new album is fucking awesome.
Yeah, it is. Yeah.
So Arizona.

Speaker 6 So, like, C's in high school?

Speaker 1 Close. C pluses, B minuses?

Speaker 1 If I could do it over again, I'd go to Arizona.

Speaker 1 I don't think you would. No, Arizona.
You wouldn't Arizona. Yeah, but Arizona and Arizona State, when I've been to those campuses, and I'm like, why does anyone go anywhere else?

Speaker 1 Now, here's the thing. I went to Arizona, and I would go to Arizona State and be like, oh, this is crazy.
Yeah, it is crazy. You guys are having like blowout pool parties on a Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Like Arizona, Thursday nights were fun. Saturday nights were good.
But again, I wasn't, I didn't have any money. I was dead broke.
I wasn't in a frat. So for me, Arizona wasn't that fun.

Speaker 1 I would go, I worked at a radio station and I did stand-up. So that was where I would hang out with the people of Tucson.
Right. And U of A was like, oh, yeah, I'll go to a game if I can get tickets.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But it wasn't like, I think Wisconsin is like that classic college.
It is five bucks for a cup and you're in a house party. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I used to go hang out, you know, being from Colorado, I'd go to CU with my friends, older brothers and stuff. And that was like...
Boulder's awesome. Boulder is like incredible.

Speaker 1 If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to Austin. I would have worked hard and got into Texas.

Speaker 6 That's a hard school to get into, though. It's very hard.
It's so fun.

Speaker 1 Austin, I mean, dude, you got the sports. It's like a cool music town.
Yeah. Just got a lot going for it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I would have gone to LSU, I think.

Speaker 6 I had a bunch of friends that went to to LSU. I would go there for my spring break.

Speaker 1 Mark Norman went there, and I asked him about it all the time, and he's like, it was crazy. You know, he's like, it's nuts.

Speaker 6 You get a spring break. You also get a full week off for Mardi Gras.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No school, no class.

Speaker 6 Just go party.

Speaker 1 Dude, we, speaking of Arizona, when I was a senior, 0-5, we were in the Elite Eight against Illinois, right? Yeah, that's a famous game right here in Rosemont. Yeah, well.

Speaker 1 We were like, everyone's like, you know, if they go to the Final Four, we get Monday off. And everyone's like, we get Monday off? So people start planning these like Sunday parties.

Speaker 1 Because our team that year was fucking unbelievable. Yeah.
I mean, we had Salim, Channing Fry,

Speaker 1 Igodala, Hassan Adams. We had ballers.
And so we're like, dude, we're about to go to the final four and get Monday off. We're up something like 15 with like two minutes left.

Speaker 1 And then Dee Brown and Deron Williams. One of the craziest tournament games ever.
You know how I knew we were fucked? They kept showing Bill Murray. Bill Murray, yep.
And I was like, stop doing that.

Speaker 1 I love Bill Murray. Stop doing that.
And he had the Illinois eye on and stop doing that. And then they came back and beat us in overtime.
And that was one of the worst feelings of being like,

Speaker 1 okay, well, that's it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. It was our senior year.
You're like, that's it, huh? Fuck. Just in a second.
We got class on Monday. Yeah, class on Monday.
And I think everyone like drank on Sundays at a protest. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like, all right, all right. Civil disobedience.
Yeah, he's like, we're still going to party like we won.

Speaker 1 Then we're going to go get the, you know, hungover on Monday.

Speaker 6 Oh, before we let you out here, I have to ask you to do a little bit of Woke Rodney Dangerfield.

Speaker 1 Oh, Woke Rodney Dangerfield.

Speaker 6 Because this is my favorite thing that you do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? Women of color. I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 The only Rodney joke I ever wrote that sounded like that was when I was like, hey, they say gender's fluid. If that's the case, I'm in love with a puddle.

Speaker 1 I was like, you know,

Speaker 1 I'm telling you. You know who doesn't get any respect? The Native Americans.
Stole their land. You just say that stuff.
Generational trauma. It's real.

Speaker 6 Rodney was so fucking funny.

Speaker 6 Do you think he was like that when he was not on stage? Like same bravado?

Speaker 1 No, I heard he was like very low-key. If you want to watch a great, there's a Carson where Rodney's just like fucking killing and Carson's like sweating, laughing.

Speaker 1 And Rodney goes, I got a lot of jokes. And he just keeps going in.
You don't mind, Doctor. Dr.
Vinny Bombas.

Speaker 1 Well, now I was doing like, I was doing Rodney doing basic bitch comedy. You know, he's like, hey, boys are weird.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, they'll watch your stories, but they won't text you back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man. Rodney was the fucking man, dude.
I love that guy. And he just used to smoke bats.
He would just wear a linen robe and smoke fucking huge joints. Yeah, legend.

Speaker 6 Legend.

Speaker 1 That Eddie Murphy story where he saw Eddie Murphy at like the comic strip in Florida. And he's like, kid, you're cussing too much.

Speaker 1 And then Eddie Murphy blew up and they're at like an awards ceremony in Vegas and Rodney's pissing. And Eddie Murphy comes and stands next to him.
He He goes, Hey, I was wrong.

Speaker 1 You're like, admits he fucked up. And he goes, who knew? I think he said something like that.
You're like, dude, that's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. I have one last question.

Speaker 11 This college football season, we are feeling the cheesiest with Cheez-It, the ultimate irresistible football watching snack.

Speaker 12 Cheez-It brings 100% real cheese and deliciousness to every game.

Speaker 11 Fuel your game day cravings with cheesy, crunchy, salty deliciousness. And fuel your Cheez-It fandom at cheez-it.com.
Use code stool25 for 20% off your order.

Speaker 1 This has been awesome. Everyone, go watch the special.
It is very, very funny. Also, perfect length.
Yeah, 40 minutes. I pulled it up this morning and I was like, 40 minutes? Fuck yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I ain't going to make you sit there. Yeah, like it's the dumbest thing we do with our brains where we're like,

Speaker 1 it's a two-hour movie. Dude, when I see it, I don't want to watch this.
Then you just watch like four episodes. I'm watching this Netflix show that was on Cinemax called Warrior.

Speaker 1 It's like a kind of like a kung fu show. 45 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm in for the episode.
But it's so dumb because

Speaker 1 you will literally sit and watch watch a three-hour football game

Speaker 1 and want more. Yeah, it's like I need more.

Speaker 6 I don't go to the flower moon. I'm like, I don't have time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, I don't want to. I'm a busy fan.
It's Scorsese's masterpiece. You're like, I don't know.
Shorten it, Mark.

Speaker 1 All right. So you're a huge wrestling fan.

Speaker 1 I was a huge, huge wrestling fan growing up.

Speaker 1 I think I'm waiting for my kids to, like, I hope my son, I have two sons. They'll get into it for a little bit.
Yeah, and I want to get back into it then. But

Speaker 1 I read a story that you had a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin in the works. Yeah, actually, because of of Barstool.
Really?

Speaker 1 We caught some shit with

Speaker 1 the CFO, Nick Con. Oh.
So

Speaker 1 we talked about it on KFC, and then Barstool tweeted it out. And we're still in development.
We still have it. But we wrote a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Me and Dan St.

Speaker 1 Germain wrote an animated, which, by the way, the script is fucking phenomenal. And they have it.
Peacock has it. We're waiting to get a pilot.
Let's do it.

Speaker 6 So wait, are we screwing it up again?

Speaker 1 No, I think we're pushing them. Yeah, we're pushing them.
People aren't. I kind of want to push it.
Yeah. Because it's very funny.
It's about Steve working at

Speaker 1 a black law firm, and it's called Stone Cold Law. And it's like Steve's a lawyer, like trying to help out the little man in Texas.
I love that. Yeah, it's very fun.
It's very fun. It's weird.

Speaker 1 It's like it's just a weird, funny show where we wrote a great pilot. And we're just waiting for them.
We just want to get in the booth with Steve. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We just want to be able to Steve for Steve to read some of our jokes because he rules.

Speaker 1 Dude, we've had phone calls with him, and he's the man. We haven't talked to him in a couple of years.
This thing's been going on for four years. All right, so we got to get it going.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm telling you, Stone Cold Law, if we could get a season of that,

Speaker 1 I guarantee we would make a fucking banger of a show. So it's fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 If Peacock gave us a full season,

Speaker 1 I have no doubt it would be great. Yeah.
What are we doing, Peacock? I don't know. That's a no-brainer.

Speaker 1 He's my favorite wrestler of all time. I actually was like, probably the coolest thing I got to do was they asked me to be in the documentary.
I had like one line. Yeah.
I was in the Macho Man one.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. And they were.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Same one.
It's like, yeah, I probably like Stone Cold's Sun's 400 people back in like 1999. When we sold the show originally, there was nothing cooler.

Speaker 1 than my phone ringing and looking down and being like, oh, Stone Cold Steve Austin's calling me.

Speaker 1 And it's just in my phone to Steve Austin. And he'd be like, hey, what's going on, brother? Yeah.
You pick up and he's like, what are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 I was on the phone with him around Christmas at my mom's house and I got off the phone.

Speaker 1 My mom was like you're beaming like you're 12 yes dude it's he has that or he came into the office like i mean like five six years ago and he's like i like your shirt and i just was like here you can have it i took off

Speaker 1 and he's like no

Speaker 1 damn man i didn't think you were gonna do that yeah he rules dude he's like the he's the coolest and and i really really hope we get an opportunity to like actually make something yeah because like now we're using that script for other projects to be like here's what we wrote in the animated space that's how proud we are of that script so i hope they let us make it at least like let us animate come on dude we had we gotta push them we had one of the guys from archer that wanted to do the animation and it was like dude it would it's a home run it would be awesome peacock i will watch every episode a thousand times yeah dude i would i would just keep it on in and it's powerful

Speaker 1 it's weird it's like you know what i mean it's not like poignant it's just like a real fun let's throw shit at the wall and see whatever weird jokes there love it who's your favorite uh tag team volta of all time legion of doom okay okay i mean legion of doom the road warriors were like unbelievable yeah and they were just like those promos you can go back and watch them yeah they're great but i also i mean i'm such a mark that i can go i can talk about this shit yeah i mean i was a huge dx guy yeah dx was unbelievable and when it was xbox and kane that was my favorite i saw a great tweet where they were like if you think about it The Rock is the biggest star in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 DX took over the WWE because Shawn Michaels and Triple H were in it. And they did like in Stone Cold's Off on a Ranch drinking beer.
They're like, it was the perfect long-form storytelling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 X-Pac when he would just like get you up against the ropes and just start sitting on your face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, Bronco busted. Yeah.
I'm going to tell you right now, Sean Waltman's the fucking man. Yeah.
That guy was in NWO. That guy was in BX.
And he's cool as hell. I believe it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's like one of my favorite wrestlers of all time. Yeah.
I'm like excited to get back into wrestling. Dude, and I'm telling you right now, Triple H is fucking cooking.
Yeah. They are.
I know.

Speaker 1 I saw the videos. Like,

Speaker 1 I saw this one video of this kid crying after WrestleMania being like, they did it. They all came out and helped him.
I was like, God damn it, that's what I want.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm telling you, man, this is as a wrestling fan, the WWE has never been better. It's so fun right now.

Speaker 1 I get hyped for, I was watching SmackDown in the green room of Omaha, and they're like, you're about to go up. I'm like,

Speaker 1 Tamatonga just showed up.

Speaker 1 Bloodline shit. Give me a second.
Dude, I'm putting my ones in the air. Acknowledge me.
What the cool thing. Roman Reigns rules.
It's the best. Yeah.
All right. Well, Dan, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Anytime you're in Chicago, we'd love to have you come come by yeah absolutely man i'm excited maybe football season yeah come watch football with us i would love to we're trying all sunday we're trying to get stavi to come do i would do that with stavi dude stavi's the man dude he's we had him on after the ravens lost and i think we were the first people he talked to and it was bad one of the biggest smiles on my face was seeing when the ravens started with stavi i know yeah i was like that's that rules and you saw you saw the look every time he'd do a video before the ronnie and yeah ronnie he'd be like on the main account and he'd stop because he wanted to go to that dark ronnie place yeah with his

Speaker 1 fucking daughter up in

Speaker 1 child protective services. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 6 It's a nerf that nerf the Ronnie takes

Speaker 1 hilarious. He's like, yeah, I can't say that right now because I'm with a pretty nine organization.

Speaker 1 But yeah, we got to do it. I mean, that is like the best part of our job is that we walk in here at 11 a.m.
Dude, you guys are like a successful foot clan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like when you used to go down on the half cap, you're like, oh, this is awesome. Yeah, we just sit and we walk, we sit on the couch for 12 hours and watch every game.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 It's like, this is our life. Yeah, that really is.
We'd love to have you come sometime. Hell yeah, absolutely.
All right. Well, thanks so much.
Everyone, go check it out. It's an incredible special.

Speaker 1 Thanks, man. And Soder, thanks so much.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 New Beyond Raw Lid V2.

Speaker 1 GNC's number one pre-workout. Now with harder-hitting energy, an intense mind-body connection,

Speaker 1 and enhanced endurance support.

Speaker 1 This isn't just a pre-workout, it's precision engineering for your body.

Speaker 1 Supercharge your workout with new Beyond Raw Lid V2. Available now at GNC and GNC.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up the show. We got Firefest of the Week.

Speaker 1 Henry. Yes.
Give us your Fire Fest of the week. Okay.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Is it bad?

Speaker 2 I'm going back and forth because I've gotten some second opinions and I might be overreacting. Uh-oh.

Speaker 6 How many second opinions have you gotten? A A lot.

Speaker 1 I've asked you. That would be a third, a fourth.
I've had

Speaker 1 seven opinions.

Speaker 2 Seven-ish opinions.

Speaker 6 Okay. So here's eight and nine.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 was in the editing, editing lab working on the duncumentary, which should be out now. Should came out Thursday night.
Hell yes. Hell yeah.

Speaker 6 Wait, can I just button real quick? Sure. So the duncumentary is a documentary that you're making about you training and being able to dunk.
My quest.

Speaker 1 Is this one of those things that you need to do?

Speaker 6 But my question is, you just started and you haven't dunked yet.

Speaker 2 So the documentary is coming out now well it's a it's a progress there's there's multiple episodes this is basically a baseline it's it's it's really for the haters i'm i've i've set it up i mean it's it's it's true you mean the haters to be right the haters have been on a heater recently yeah the haters yeah the haters are gonna have a field day with this episode probably we basically did you know we had a trainer come in got a baseline of what my vertical leap is

Speaker 2 where i'm at and where I need to get to.

Speaker 2 And then the following episodes will hopefully be showing progress, progress, progress until I'm above the rim in dunking.

Speaker 1 How many episodes of the duncumentary are there? And also, did you do this because someone said to you duncumentary and you're like, fuck, I have to make this now?

Speaker 2 No, it was reverse.

Speaker 2 It was the videos, you know, we have to figure out a video of me training a dunk, and PFT said the duncumentary, which is a great name.

Speaker 2 But in that footage, there's... Wait, how many episodes is there going to be? There's going to be three, hopefully.
That's it.

Speaker 1 That's all you need is three episodes.

Speaker 6 Episode one, when you were getting your baseline, did you make sure to make it so you didn't really try that hard in episode one, so it looks like you make a lot of progress?

Speaker 2 I would like to say, yes, I did try hard. It's going to look like it's still going to be

Speaker 2 if you're watching, you know, a long way away.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Is there a chance the duncumentary ever gets taken off air?

Speaker 2 Why would it?

Speaker 1 Someone just realizes they can't dunk. No.
Okay. No.

Speaker 2 Listen, I'm in it. The bet's out there.
It's 20. It's 20.

Speaker 1 It would be funny if you did, if you just got a Hank Doppelganger with insane hops to finish the duncumary. Yeah.
We're going to all lengths.

Speaker 2 We're going to go to all lengths. I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk.
I think I'm going to be able to do it.

Speaker 2 I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I welcome that. I don't think we're being haters.

Speaker 6 I think we're being realisticers.

Speaker 1 Also, you don't, when you say that sentence, that's redundant. Well, you could put us in with the haters.
True. The haters and you guys makes it seem like we're not haters.
We are.

Speaker 1 I just want that clear. All right, fair.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think we're just a much-needed dose of reality. There are some times where we just hate, for sure.

Speaker 6 I think in this case, we're showing Hank tough love because we don't want him to get his little heart broken when he's not able to do it.

Speaker 1 Or his ACL or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's the only way that's going to stop me, is injury.

Speaker 1 That's the only way you're not going to dunk? Yeah. Is injury? Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm feeling real shame. I'm feeling good.
I'm a little LeBron in faith in injury.

Speaker 2 No, we'll see. Episode two.
I mean, again, episode one, go watch it. Let me know what you think.
Probably not the best because it was was the first day. It's the baseline.
It's the beginning stages.

Speaker 2 And then hopefully, as the episodes go, people are going to start to believe. And then I make it happen.

Speaker 6 So Hank told me that he was training at a trampoline gym a couple weeks ago. And I thought for a second that he was just like dunking like in a flambo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It turns out he's training in a building that's shared by a trampoline. So he's not actually using trampolines to dunk.

Speaker 6 But that made us think, like, maybe, maybe he should be using trampolines so he can, like... He can get the confidence in himself and know that he's able to dunk and know what it feels like.

Speaker 2 This is all irrelevant to my firefighter.

Speaker 1 Okay, go on.

Speaker 2 In the footage,

Speaker 2 you know, there's some training footage where I was super sweaty and I saw a shot, an above my head shot where I was bent down.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 And there was a huge

Speaker 1 spot. Yeah.
Can I see?

Speaker 2 So then I've been getting that's where I got mad at everyone being like, How could you not tell me? How could you not tell me? And they're like, it's not, you know, it's not the case.

Speaker 2 Can I see?

Speaker 6 Let's see.

Speaker 6 Been down further.

Speaker 1 I think it's the start. It's going to be bald.
It's the start. You are going to be bald.

Speaker 6 But Hank, it's okay for now. What you saw is actually, it's the same camera angle that coaches get on the sidelines all the time, especially in college football.

Speaker 6 You can spot a college coach going bald like 10 years before it actually happens. Yeah, no,

Speaker 6 you're good for now. You're good for a couple years.
But if you wanted to, maybe we could take a flight over to Turkey together. I'm going to start.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to start trying to do some preemptive. There's people that have things that I can do now to maybe try and prevent this from happening.
I'm probably going to stop wearing a hat as much.

Speaker 2 It was scary.

Speaker 2 I just sat there and stared for like 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 Okay, what about your mom's father? Head of hair?

Speaker 2 I'm not sure. He was not, you know, he passed away before I was born.
I can find out, but I don't think that.

Speaker 1 Text, yeah, that's it right there. That's that's the genes.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I have the exact same hair as

Speaker 2 I look exactly like my dad. And

Speaker 2 my dad and my uncles all have the same

Speaker 2 style of hair.

Speaker 1 Make the text. Send the text.
Ask if pop-pop had a head of hair before he died. My pop-pup was a cue ball from the

Speaker 1 240.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That's bad, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You will be bald.

Speaker 6 The good news is that you can do something about it. If you do, if you take like the Finsteride drops and you take the Minoxidil or whatever, I'm acting like, oh, maybe that's the name of it.

Speaker 6 I'm just trying to guess.

Speaker 6 For a guy like you, you can make that runway like six, seven seven years if you want.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to start. I'm going to do everything.
I'm going to do some research to everything I can.

Speaker 1 I did read a study.

Speaker 1 I read a study. You can't be bald.

Speaker 2 I'm already. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I read a study that said that it's directly related. Like, if you have facial hair, it increases your balding because all your hair follicles are going to your face.

Speaker 1 So you should probably just shave your beard. Yeah.

Speaker 6 No, it's science. It's true.
All the chemicals are

Speaker 1 your body's just using all of its energy for your chin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You need to redirect that. Think about this one.

Speaker 2 Well, if the Celtics won the championship, I am going to shave my head, so maybe I'll get a taste of what that looks like.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's go back to the beard shaving because, you know.

Speaker 6 You could just shave it

Speaker 1 and then leave it bald.

Speaker 2 I probably won't be doing that either unless it's overwhelmingly positive responses, which I don't think will happen.

Speaker 1 I'll be positive.

Speaker 2 You're a hater. You already said you're a hater.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I am. On some things.
Not all things. I don't want you to go bald.

Speaker 6 Actually, that was a lie I do.

Speaker 1 No, I don't.

Speaker 1 I absolutely do.

Speaker 6 do i really want you to go bald once you get a taste of it you don't you don't want that on anybody else no yeah yeah you know well i don't want you to go bald it's i mean it's happening it's a big difference that's why i'm trying to i'm trying to i'm rooting for you i'm trying to recruit hank to to get something done about it i'm down to go to turkey like that would be a fucking we could also we could just maybe hit up urlacher what if i go with you guys and get a brazilian butt lift 37 you wouldn't be able to sit down yeah no yeah you got to take the plane back yeah you got to sit down like face first in the seat on the way back cload up that would be be sick if we just got a shitload of plastic surgery.

Speaker 6 Get our jaws chiseled. Oh, yeah.
Get some peck implants.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. New us.
All right, PFT, your firefest. I don't think that's a fire fest yet.

Speaker 6 No, it is. It is.
Seeing that for the first time.

Speaker 1 Everyone that I've talked to said is not. I'm going to go bald.
Do you fucking shut up? It is. You're fine, Hank.
Just keep living your life how you're living it.

Speaker 1 Don't even worry about it. No hats.
Yeah, no cat. It's a future you problem.
That will never happen.

Speaker 6 I don't buy the whole not wearing a baseball hat thing.

Speaker 1 Do you think it's the steroids you're taking to try to dunk?

Speaker 2 I have not got to that point yet.

Speaker 1 That would be a fall thing. A great admission there.
Wait, what are Hank?

Speaker 6 You might have to stop golfing as much then if you're not wearing hats.

Speaker 6 Maybe you've golfed so much that you've worn so many hats that it's rubbed your hair off.

Speaker 2 I've just always been a hat guy, but

Speaker 1 no more. No more.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 6 My Fire Fest of the Week, I get a couple.

Speaker 6 Blake just turned one, so now I'm feeling old and nostalgic. I'm looking at a puppy picture and being like, oh, damn, I really missed my puppy.
I wish I had a puppy again.

Speaker 6 That's always sad, seeing your dog grow older. Obviously, he's not old at all.
Yeah, he's one. He's one, but you missed the puppy.

Speaker 1 I did like your Instagram post.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you did it intentionally or maybe had a moment of weakness, but you did like the journalist having a baby, being like new addition to the roster, thinking about giving him a new second-year contract.

Speaker 1 Second-year contract. Yeah, I don't know if it was a moment of weakness or was it a moment?

Speaker 6 I was thinking like,

Speaker 6 what would Field Yates

Speaker 1 about the birthday of his child?

Speaker 6 So, yeah, I intentionally did that. Actually, Blake's dealing with injury issues right now, so we're going to wait for his health reports to come back.

Speaker 6 And then there might be injury concerns, so we're holding on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to get the

Speaker 6 check the medicals first on. He'll be fine.
He'll actually be fine long term. Not worried about it.

Speaker 6 My real firefest of the week, though, is so I'm having a party at my house for the Kentucky Derby.

Speaker 6 And I sent an invite to the part of my Take Group chat last night.

Speaker 1 Silence. I replied.

Speaker 6 Silence from the group chat.

Speaker 1 I replied. About the other thing.
About the the other thing.

Speaker 6 I think I was connected to the

Speaker 1 Kentucky 34.

Speaker 1 No one else replied.

Speaker 6 We have like an unspoken bond usually on this show where we'll invite each other to do things. I know that Big Cat's going to be busy doing family stuff on weekends, but I'm still going to.

Speaker 6 I might try to pop by. I'm still going to invite you.

Speaker 1 I might try to pop by, yeah.

Speaker 6 And if he's. Is it kids friendly? Yeah, kid-friendly.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I might try to pop by.

Speaker 6 Okay, but utter silence in the replies. And then I stared at my phone for like two minutes afterwards.
Like, there's got to be.

Speaker 6 I can't see dots because it's a group chat and no replies and typing right now and if you guys don't want to come get hammered with me on Saturday I understand our repod what'd you say I'm off the sauce oh oh did you just reply right now yeah okay you just replied right now hank's off the sauce so nobody wants to get drunk with me on Saturday regrettably

Speaker 1 but that's fine I'll try to defend everyone here maybe

Speaker 1 like that usually we're like a week of kind of guys yeah

Speaker 1 we got a whole other weekend before so maybe that was what happened again I did reply to the connected thing. The connected thing, yeah, along with it, which is counted as a reply.

Speaker 6 That's fine. I guess everybody else is silent.
I'm the only guy that likes to get drunk on this podcast. It's sad.
It's sad when it's I am.

Speaker 1 I actually was thinking about it this morning, and I'm going to try to stop by. I just got to figure out which kid can handle it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 My parents come?

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 1 Do they have hair?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, bring them by. Yeah, we'll check out your dad's hair.
Maybe we will.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, that's my fault.

Speaker 6 Jake, Max, and Memes are still utterly silent.

Speaker 1 I like beers.

Speaker 1 So why didn't you reply? Not at PFTs.

Speaker 1 I just missed that text.

Speaker 6 Missed it. Got it.

Speaker 1 I missed it, but

Speaker 1 I'm in for some beers.

Speaker 6 That's fine. There's a lot of other people coming.
If you don't want to come, you don't have to.

Speaker 1 Don't shame me into this. I've gotten beers with you before.

Speaker 6 You have gotten beers with me. Yeah.
So has memes. Memes.
I actually love getting drunk with memes.

Speaker 1 No, you don't. You hate it.
No, I hate taking mushrooms with memes. Yeah, okay, okay.
That's the worst.

Speaker 6 Getting drunk with memes is the best because he'll just sit there and he'll smile and he'll look at you.

Speaker 1 I just,

Speaker 6 in my darkest 30 seconds after I sent that out and nothing came back, I was like, there's definitely a side chat where they're like, so we're all not going to PFT's house for this party, right? Okay.

Speaker 1 Again, I did really.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 I still don't know. I went back to try and look for this text.
I don't remember this text. I thought I answered.

Speaker 6 What time did you? Memes thought he answered. Yeah, I answered.

Speaker 1 This is the first I've heard of it.

Speaker 1 I have a bachelor party. It might be next week or the weekend after.
No, maybe. What?

Speaker 2 That was. I might have a bachelor party, too, actually.

Speaker 1 You don't know when it is? It's one of the weekends of May. Yeah, wait, which weekend is this again? Next weekend.
Oh, no. I have a wedding.
Okay. Oh.
I do have a wedding. I do have a wedding.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try to come.

Speaker 6 That's fine.

Speaker 6 It's going to be a hell of a party.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'll maybe try to dress up one of my kids.

Speaker 1 Would it be offensive to dress them up like a jockey? As a horse? No. I would think they would be the jockey.
I'd be the horse. Okay, yeah.
Right?

Speaker 6 Or get a horse size difference? One's the front, one's the back. We could do that.
That'd be good, too. Come up with something very fun.

Speaker 1 All right, My Firefest.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've two. They're connected.
It's similar to the passing of time. PFT,

Speaker 1 it's going to be May. It's actually, after you sent that text, I was like, oh, fuck, it's going to be May.

Speaker 6 It's Justin Timberlake.

Speaker 1 It's going to be May. Or Hank.
We already taped the draft.

Speaker 1 We're going to be 40 really soon. Yeah, yeah, it's true.
This year is flying by.

Speaker 6 It's true. This is last year that we have to get in shape.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is just a check-in. This is a check-in.
We won't worry about it until maybe the fall, but

Speaker 1 it popped in my head and I was like, shit. Yeah,

Speaker 6 do you have a list of things you want to do before you're 40?

Speaker 6 We should make a list.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should make a list. Let's do a bucket list this summer.

Speaker 6 Get hair implants. Shave Hank's beard.
Yeah, that's on there. Yep.

Speaker 2 Why are you so obsessed with my beard?

Speaker 1 Why are you so obsessed with your beard?

Speaker 6 You know why I'm so obsessed with my beard.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 1 would you rather go completely bald or never be able to grow facial hair again? Because I know my answer. Bald.
Yep, 100%. I really want Hank.
I want Max to go.

Speaker 1 I saw a picture of Max with the soul patch. I want to go back to that so bad.

Speaker 6 I mean, just the look that he has.

Speaker 1 So fucking

Speaker 1 never again. Literally, never.

Speaker 2 Max wearing a hat at softball is of strange visual. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Max,

Speaker 6 you say that you'd rather go bald as a guy that's got a full head of hair that will probably never go bald. So you saying it doesn't really mean that much.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I still mean it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 My other Fire Fest is kind of related to a passing of time, but we talked about Caleb Williams and the draft at the beginning of the show and how excited I am.

Speaker 1 I taped a video like interviewing my son today, being like, you don't know how awesome everything's going to be. And that video could be bad in like 10 years.

Speaker 6 You could really five them up for failure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it also could be sick. Imagine if Caleb Williams wins five Super Bowls and I'm like, hey, look, I have the video of the day he got drafted.
Yeah. Of us talking about it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's always going to have that to look back on. And he's going to blame you for getting him excited.
I might be getting ahead of myself.

Speaker 6 No, it's fine.

Speaker 6 Everything's going to be so good for me and you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've been thinking about Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 There's a player that he reminds me of. Prince? A little bit of a diva off the court.
Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. A can't miss prospect.
Travis Kelsey. No doubt number one.

Speaker 1 Travis Kelsey? Ben Simmons. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Ben Simmons was the next LeBron.

Speaker 6 If Caleb Williams couldn't throw the ball, then, yeah, that would be a direct quarterback.

Speaker 1 Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect. Oh, no.
USC would have gone to the tournament if it was a 64-team tournament.

Speaker 1 Ben Simmons did not.

Speaker 1 That's fact or fiction. Ben Simmons did not make March Madness.

Speaker 1 Caleb Williams did not make the Final Four.

Speaker 1 Both teams missed the playoffs. No, if there was expanded playoffs, he would have made the playoffs of his first year at USC.
That's a fact. But he didn't.

Speaker 1 That's because the playoffs were just four teams, you idiot. You see what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 The March Madness could have been four teams, could have been 64 teams, could have been 75 teams. Ben Simmons would have made it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What was that look to me?

Speaker 1 This is fine. What was that look to memes? I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 1 Ben Simmons. Think about it.
Think about Ben Simmons. I thought about it, and it bothers me.
Okay? If I'm being honest with you, it bothered me very much.

Speaker 1 Max, you're wearing your scars too deep though not everyone's philly no yeah i just i just remember like the sixers were so bad and then it was like ben simmons is coming and i was like cut his mic ben simmons is going to be our lord and savior and he's kind of cut his mic

Speaker 1 did you just cut your own mic

Speaker 1 no i mean i'm being i'm being honest with you max if i thought it was a bad take I wouldn't be bothered, but I'm bothered. So it's not the worst take.

Speaker 6 I do like the Prince comparison, though. Yeah, because

Speaker 6 it's like Prince is one of the greatest songwriters of all time.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, yeah, he's Prince in quarterback form. Okay, sign me up.

Speaker 6 Pretty much just saying he's like, he's feminine. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's finish the show with numbers. We have special guests, Patrick and Michaela, in the booth because they won the Corps.
Like, what'd you guys win?

Speaker 13 We won a chance to watch taping with you guys.

Speaker 1 Okay. But would you remember the contest?

Speaker 13 I got a Facebook or an Instagram ad. I signed up one time.
Someone reached out, asked for my social security number. I thought I was getting this.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
So this is good, though. It proves that when we run these contests, we actually do have winners.
So, Patrick and Michaela, thank you for being here.

Speaker 1 You guys, numbers, I'll let you guys start.

Speaker 1 26. 26.
Michaela?

Speaker 1 You can pick a number. Any number.
17. 17.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 40.

Speaker 1 20. Three.

Speaker 6 20. I wish they had picked 10.

Speaker 1 I'll go 13 for Caleb Williams.

Speaker 6 We should have texted him and been like, hey, pick 20.

Speaker 1 That was fine.

Speaker 1 Where's Pug? No, Pug?

Speaker 1 Pug's at his desk. All right.
Pug's at the beginning.

Speaker 6 He's in his crate.

Speaker 1 He's already won to 20.

Speaker 1 13 for Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 Patrick, you have what? 26? Wacale has 17.

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 1 Yes!

Speaker 1 Yes! Yes! Yes! Shut up, you Ben Simmons, fat fuck. This is the best sign of all time on draft night.
What number is that? Oh, my God!

Speaker 1 Bow to me! Bow to me! What number is that? That's number 13!

Speaker 6 That's a lucky number.

Speaker 1 That's 13. I mean, you guys are in shock, and you're also mad.
Max is mad. Hank, you're mad.
People, are you mad?

Speaker 6 I'm not mad. I'm mad.
I'm winning.

Speaker 1 You're mad because Max, you said that you'd get it before me. Yeah.
Remember when you said you'd get it before me?

Speaker 1 And I got it before. 20 might not be in it.
You fucking pieces. 20 might not be in it.
That's the second time I got it.

Speaker 1 Sad Max took away my first time, and then he led me to this glorious moment on Cale Williams draft day. 13 comes up.
That's huge. That's a huge day.

Speaker 1 He's going to win a million Super Bowls.

Speaker 6 Are you at all concerned with the fact that you hit it on the most unlucky number of all time? No.

Speaker 1 Oh, 13 is a lucky number. 13 is a fucking great number.
I just, listen, PFT, Hank, you guys, I have no, I have no beef with you guys here.

Speaker 1 I understand the stunt.

Speaker 1 This fucking fat fuck behind the glass who took away my first number because he's such a fucking baby and

Speaker 1 my baby loser.

Speaker 1 That was me. And what happened?

Speaker 1 And what happened?

Speaker 1 I said, I will get the number before you do. And what did I do?

Speaker 1 What did I do, Max? You got it. Yeah.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Congrats.

Speaker 6 Congrats on 13. I mean, Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's the greatest sign of all time. That's the greatest sign of all time.
It was 76 when we did one with the Mr. Pear

Speaker 1 live picks this morning. Doesn't count.
So what is that? Wait, you did it.

Speaker 1 It's good vibes for the Sixers tonight.

Speaker 2 Oh, I get a good practice on the table.

Speaker 1 It's good vibes for the Sixers tonight.

Speaker 6 An extra ball? No,

Speaker 1 we do one for the Mr. Pear live streams.

Speaker 6 Wait, so you should call it the Paralympics.

Speaker 1 Who has gotten it? Hank? Me? Me? Pub, Choise? Jake? Shane?

Speaker 6 Just me and Memes? Max.

Speaker 1 I have not either. Max, have you ever gotten the number? No.
I want you to ask PFT. I was just asking you.
Max, have you ever gotten the number?

Speaker 1 PFT? No.

Speaker 1 Just to answer the question, Max. No, I have.
Have you ever gotten this? No. Hank, do you want to ask him? I don't feel like...
Why are you just asking me? This is not how this goes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is how it goes. PFT is going to get it before you, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you're not allowed to just single me out.

Speaker 6 Hey, Max, Max, you have to understand the way this narrative is going right now. I'm definitely going to get it before you.
Yes, you are.

Speaker 1 I know. 100%.

Speaker 1 I don't think 20 is in there. I got to check.
Yeah, that's the loser.

Speaker 1 This is exactly what Hank used to do.

Speaker 6 That's loser talk.

Speaker 1 He used to be like, oh, that number's not in there. Memes hasn't gotten it in either city yet.

Speaker 1 Who cares?

Speaker 1 Ask the question.

Speaker 2 Have you ever got it? You've gotten it, Max.

Speaker 1 I got it in New York. Not no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 You asked the question. Have you ever gotten it here? No.

Speaker 1 You should? No, yeah. That's that's the answer.
Hank. I mean, you're not even asking PFT.

Speaker 1 He's going to get it. Oh,

Speaker 1 I know. I'm not worried about it.

Speaker 6 For a fact, I'm going to get it, but I'm worried, like, what if I don't get it?

Speaker 1 But I'm going to get it.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry I reacted.

Speaker 6 It would suck if I didn't, but I'm definitely going to get it before you.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry I reacted that way. It was really 100% directed at Max.

Speaker 1 Just so you, PFT, and Hank, understand that was not the bow to me, was to Max, because we can play back the tape when he said he's going to get it before me. And I said, no, no way.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do it the hard way. And what I do.
Fucking Caleb Williams. What I do, Max.
You got it. I already told you you got it.
And have you gotten it? No. Thank you.
I already told you you got it.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 We're just going in circles here. Yeah, I know.
I could do it forever. I'm actually going to, we're going to, I would like to, Max, I have a meeting with you after.
We need to talk.

Speaker 1 PFT, love you guys. Say it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. PFT, you should be able to do it.

Speaker 1 We have a

Speaker 6 you guys have a meeting in a second, and I'll let you guys get your meeting. Yeah.

Speaker 6 But before I say it, I just want to do a counting of everybody in this room. Hank, you did get it.
I did get it. I was the first to get it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to do that.

Speaker 6 No, I'm updating my. Don't tell me what I'm not doing.

Speaker 1 He's allowed to do whatever he does. Jake's down here.

Speaker 2 He's got to update the list.

Speaker 6 I'm putting it into the spreadsheet right now.

Speaker 1 Jake has got it.

Speaker 6 Okay, thank you. I was going to ask about that.
Jake got it. Hank, you said that you have.
I have. Yeah.
Big Cat, you have.

Speaker 1 I have with Caleb Williams' number.

Speaker 6 You got it with Caleb Williams' number. Okay, Pug, have you gotten it? Yes, Pug.
Shane, have you gotten this? Shane got it. Max, have you gotten this? Nope.

Speaker 1 Oh, so he's the only one.

Speaker 6 I typed in yes. Now I have to.
He's the only one. I thought you had, so I have to.
Damn.

Speaker 1 This isn't true.

Speaker 1 This doesn't work. This doesn't work when you lie.
Again, PFT will get it.

Speaker 1 That's not how this works. Yes, it is.

Speaker 6 Max, ask me if I've got it.

Speaker 1 PFT, have you got it? Not yet.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Well, I'm about to.
Yeah. Not yet.

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 1 No, no, you already.

Speaker 6 No, Max. You said no nine times.

Speaker 1 You want to do this again, Max? You want to do this again? No, no, no. Because I've already done it once with you.
I told you I'd get it before you, and what happened?

Speaker 1 I got it.

Speaker 1 All right, so here's another one. PFT is going to get it before you.
We'll see. Guaranteed.
We'll see. Guaranteed.
We'll see.

Speaker 6 I don't know about memes, though.

Speaker 1 No, memes doesn't count.

Speaker 1 I've already vowed to never get it. Yeah, memes doesn't count.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a mat. Someone's going to have to fire up the Twitter account.
Maybe repurpose the Hank. Has Hank gotten it? Has Max gotten it?

Speaker 1 There's three people in here who haven't gotten it. PFT will get it.
I know.

Speaker 1 What about memes? This guy right here,

Speaker 1 my dear friend, longtime co-host, is one of the hardest working guys I know. He will get it.
That's what he does.

Speaker 6 I'm also not a loser anymore. Exactly.

Speaker 1 So things have changed. He's probably going to get it on Sunday night.
Yeah, I'm not a loser, okay?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're winners. We're not losers.

Speaker 6 On this side of the glass, we're fucking winners now.

Speaker 6 Everything about our lives is going to switch up in terms of a winning mentality, which you sadly do not understand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, take your Ben Simmons shit and shove it up your ass. Yeah,

Speaker 6 everybody reminds Max of a player that ended up not being as good as he thought.

Speaker 6 When you're a hammer, the entire world's a nail.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Patrick and Michaela, did you enjoy that?

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I've often said it's about beats down a little way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay. Stay after me.

Speaker 1 It's for better to be safe than sorry. It's the bed to be safe and sorry.
It's the bed to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 I'll go.

Speaker 1 I'll go

Speaker 1 not the

Speaker 1 one

Speaker 1 who's a little bit of a baby,

Speaker 1 baby, baby, petal, baby, pedal, bedding, petal.