Chris Berman In Studio, NFL Season Recap With Jerry O'Connell + A Recap Of Hank's Standup Performance

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USAA! On today's's part of my take we have a very special guest chris berman in studio the schwamm it's a super bowl tradition every single super bowl week we have the schwamm on this is three years running we also have an even more special guest jerry o'connell is sitting in hank's seat to start the show. So how it's going to work is J.O.C.
is here in place of Hank.

Some may say Wally Pipp, ever heard of him?

Jerry O'Connell might take Hank's spot.

Way to compete, Hank.

He's going to do Hot Seat Cool Throne with us.

Then we're going to get to Chris Berman.

And after the show, we'll have Hank on to recap his night of comedy.

So you'll get it all in the entire episode.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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USA!

All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Elaine. It's part of my take.

It isn't about martial sports.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Wednesday, February 7th.

And Hank, you look different.

Yeah, you know, I'm just working.

Let me try some of my material.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Climate change.
Climate change who? I'm kidding. I'm not real, so I'm not really here.
That is Jerry O'Connell, by the way. No, no, it's still Hank.
It's still Hank. Hank, what do you think about your Patriots offseason? You know, I think it was good to hire Coach Mayo internally.
I think that's going to be good. Don't know what we're going to do in the QB position.
I think Mac Jones is a little bitch. Hey, what's the deal? What is the deal? Just tell me the background of Mac Jones.
Because he seems to me to be a really wealthy kid. Is he one of these wealthy? McCorkle? Is that what it is? His name? McCccorkle is that his name his name's mccorkle his so his name is not mac jones his name is his middle name mccorkle i think his first name is mccorkle i'm looking it up michael mccorkle mac jones because he just and i'm sorry to get right into it about the patriots but i do want to say the the NFL is better when the Patriots are losing.

I'm sorry.

Like, think about this.

I'm not kidding.

Think about this season

and how exciting it's been,

how many ups and downs,

especially in the AFC.

The Broncos were in it for a second.

The Texans were in it for a second.

Jacksonville looked good.

I mean, there was a lot of teams in play. And when the Patriots aren't in play, it's just more fun.
It's wide open. It's just wide open.
Well, it's not really because it's the Chiefs. I thought for a second the Chiefs weren't going to make it.
I mean, I listened to you all religiously. I think you would all agree with me.
Yeah, they flipped the switch, though. We might have steered you wrong on that.
Oh, man. I put a couple futures on the Jaguars.
I didn't put them on the Broncos. I almost did when they went through their little run.
I mean, of course, I seemed to bet with this podcast for some insane reason. Yeah, we're the poster boys for Gamble Responsibly.
Well, betting is so funny because when you hear people talking about something, it just gets in your head. You're like, that was a good point.
Yeah. That's so funny.
These guys know what they're talking about. Jerry, I love your jacket.
It's awesome. I love any sort of like Super Bowl or NFL themed merchandise.
Yeah. It looks awesome.
I think you just got it because I think they sold that downstairs. I did.
I just got it. I actually, I've been in Vegas now for a couple days.
I actually hit it big in Keno. I was really in Keno.
Had a huge score. How much? I mean, a lot of money.
But not only did I buy this. Let me show you the back of this jacket, too, if you're watching on YouTube.
Okay. You don't get to hear a like on the avenue.
A rumble. Yeah.
Wow. That's nice.
You just wanted to show off your ass no I didn't only stop there if you look at my pants I actually like bought a lot of clothes I had so much money look at who makes these pants big cat oh who makes these pants that's the Bellagio makes so you got you got hotel pants the Bellagio makes those pants he's getting up up close so for people who are like hey why is why is Jerry sitting in Hank's seat? This show, we have the Schwamm as the interview, Chris Berman. Hank is getting ready.
Hank has been a diva all day. He's basically been like, don't talk to me.
I don't want to do anything. That's just normal Hank, though.
Yeah, he's getting ready for his show. So we figured our good friend Jerry O'Connor will sit in Hank's seat for the start of the show.
At the end of the we'll talk to Hank about how the comedy night went but we have JOC uh you have your briefcase should I ask what's in the briefcase this time oh yeah I brought my briefcase um you guys were um kind enough to allow me to uh manage your high stakes fantasy team how'd that go terrible job how'd that go Jerry Derek Waller no matter what we never uh never back on that we had a terrible year and i wanted to take this time with you to um tell you some things i learned from this season and maybe you could find it in your hearts to allow me to manage your team again you don't have to give an answer today uh-huh um but uh just open the briefcase okay it's a quentin tarantino movie oh he's got sheets yeah i made some uh he also jerry did give me an excedrin that was wrapped in a napkin uh toilet paper actually yeah so that was that's just true friendship right yeah are you sure that was an excedrin yeah that it looks like you're like you're a mule cut with a little uh way too many cut with a little fentanyl. No, I'll make it fast.
I realize. I realize.
Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me see this one thing.
Okay. Patriots none ever.
Mac Jones seems like such a little bitch. NFL is better when the Patriots lose.
It's more exciting. Way more story.
So you already did the Patriots. I already did my Patriots bit.
You know what? I'm just going to give you some things I learned this season. All right jerry o'connell's this is a good nfl recap jerry o'connell's 2023 season recap so um let's start with the the afc east okay um which was such an exciting division i when i came on your show in august i told um i said don't draft any dolphins yeah at all how'd that work well, that was a mistake because fantasy, you basically score points from offense.
Their offense was as incredible as I've seen in my lifetime, actually. Did their running back score any touchdowns this year? I believe Mostert led the league.
I think he had something like 21 touchdowns. So that was a mistake.
I think I specifically said stay away from Mostert. That was a mistake.
So I've actually changed my tune. All the Dolphins next season.
If I were to be your manager, all the Dolphins. What do you mean if if you are? You have a lifetime contract.

Let's make him earn it back.

No, I'm going to give you a lifetime contract.

You know what?

I'm going to fire you right now, Jerry.

And getting your job back is contingent on how this goes.

This is what it feels like to be Coach Sirianni.

Sorry.

Sorry, Max.

Oh, I have a question.

Is Coach McDaniels annoying?

Yes. Josh McDaniels? No.
Michael McDaniel. Michael McDaniel.
Not annoying. I don't think he's annoying.
No, not annoying. If they don't win next year, yes, annoying.
You don't think the pants, the culotte pants are like a little like... You're wearing Bellagio pants.
That's true. I don't think you can judge.
The sunglasses all the time is a little bit much for me yeah the reading glasses that you don't need okay um bills the buffalo bills were staying um in the afc east all of them yep okay every single one of them uh stephan diggs is this your preview and your post well no this is what i'm going to do if you do choose okay all Okay, got it, got it, got it. So what happens in August when you come back? I'm going to have some revisions if I make it back.
The Jets, absolutely none of them. It's a cursed franchise ever again.
Not even Brees Hall because memes knows Izzy's going to vulture all those touches. pats none of them um mac jones is highly annoying um i i just can't draft any let's move on to the afc west i i can't draft any chiefs i just can't do it yeah i i they and i think it's it's funny um jake actually brought this up um in his like good natured annoying way, where he said that dynasties are good for the business.
That was annoying of him. It made me think.
He was talking about how the Patriots helped basically build Barstool. But they're so annoying, those dynasties.
Yeah, they are. If they're not yours.
If they're yours, then there's nothing better. Yeah.
So you just got to find a dynasty that's your own yeah i guess i i just i've never experienced that kind of winning in my life i mean you married a supermodel well i know but it's still i don't know if you've seen but they're on the rocks we're not on the rocks that's a joke i saw a report that said that you guys are on the rock yeah i know i mean we're constantly fighting with each other but we're like no lawyers are have been called okay all right good i'm just i see the reports isn't every marriage on the rocks yeah true it's built on the rocks i mean it's uh it's a nightmare like we're here in vegas we're walking around there's a huge convention every female convention convention person that you walk past stares at you with those hungry eyes. Yeah.
I don't want to tell them. And they're wearing a lanyard.
And you have to keep walking because... I've seen the way women react around you, Jerry.
Yeah. They love you.
They love you. They love Jerry.
I don't like the Chiefs. They bother me.
I don't want to say anything negative about Taylor Swift, but that just... It's unfair that Taylor Swift was basically introduced to the NFL this year.
Yeah. And...
She's already in the Super Bowl. In the Super Bowl.
In the Super Bowl. It's like that.
just like like like these people need to know life doesn't work that way yeah she should have dated someone on like yeah the Panthers yeah the Panthers yeah go to bank I want to see her Bank of America Stadium week 16 that's a fact yeah you're right making the heart sign to someone like I mean Adam Thielen I want to see David Tepper pouring a drink on her yeah um okay Broncos AFC West who is going to be their quarterback next season James Winston maybe I don't know interview maybe really good great interview good stuff a little long at times but man really uh really good that guy uh wow that guy can spin a yarn. He can talk, yeah.
He can. Good stuff though, really good stuff.
That was a good one. None of the Raiders.
Okay. You know, the Raiders are like a talent, like they've ruined Devontae, they've ruined Josh Jacobs.
Look, a lot of O'Connells in the league now love that. My last name is O'Connell.
But they're like a talent sponge. None of the Chargers, AFC West.
No, Harbaugh. I just don't see it happening.
It's like buying a dilapidated Victorian home. It's not going to be inhabitable for years.
Oh, he's Harbaugh. So you're a Chargers fan.
I am. And I am a Chargers fan because there's I don't mean any I don't mean to offend any Chargers fans, but it's like so easy to get tickets there.
It's like the parking's way easier. There's no way you can wait the whole game and get right out of that parking lot it's like pretty easy um but uh not yet chargers um afc a significant thing happened last season and you guys didn't really talk about it you talked about it a little bit i'm i'm big on the bengals i i like them i love their offense i love joe burrow i love joe mixon i talked about everybody here um that withholding of the information about the hand thing i actually bet that game and i love a money line i love a close money line bet because you get some odds and you're not looking at points and that to me is like i try to bet singularly you know i think that's the way you win money is that you don't have an exotic is that you have one bet and a uh like if someone's uh an underdog by three points that money line bet that's my jam yeah and i took the bingles that week thinking oh well he's not on the injury report i know he wore that cast and he was photographed with the cat with the with the tape on it on his thumb but it's nothing because it's not on the report like we're now in an age where everyone is gambling it's it's legal it's no longer done with a bookie you know it's this is like money that man needs to be on that injury report and I'm sorry to say there needs to be repercussions.
And I'm done with the Bengals. That's the repercussions.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry? That's the repercussion.
You're done with that. Jerry will no longer draft their players onto his fantasy team.
Yeah. The worst fate you could have.
Yeah. AFC South, Jaguars.
I'm all in on the Jaguars. Okay.
All in. May I ask't know I just have a feeling they're gonna you know like the first time I came on your show I told you I had a thing for the Jags and just I think they're gonna move to London I just can't wait for English people to be like Nigel did you hear the Jaguars are coming storied history of the Jaguars Frederick Taylor Marcus Brunel The great Maurice Jones Drew Sir Maurice Jones Drew Blake Boles Will they remain the Jaguars Or will they become like the Beefeaters Beefeaters would be good Redcoats The.
Redcoats. Beans.
Yeah. The inbred monarchs.
Yeah. Colts, AFC South.
I love the Colts, all of them. Anthony Richardson's got to protect himself, but love him.
Love Michael Pittman. Yeah, Jim Irsay's okay.
He's on the mend right now. Yeah.
He tweeted a second ago. He's back.
Shout out to his mama. Texxans all the texans except uh that one two punch of uh single terry pierce isn't doing it for me one two knockout punch um but all the man collins tank man what a team um eagles max you ready all of one of them.
All of them. Yeah.
You are back. So back.
So fun to watch. How do you feel about Brazil, Max? The birds are open in the season in Brazil.
I like that they're opening the season because that's just kind of an exciting thing. I don't like that it's counting as a home game.
Yeah. That sucks.
game at the Link. Max, you should make a trip down there.
No, no, no. Jared, we could work on that.
But think about how many farts that is on an airplane. A lot of farts on an airplane.
Think about all the TFing we're going to be doing. You might do some BFing in Brazil.
Yeah. Just with the cheeks.
Just cheeks just the cheeks though like hot dog in the buns yeah yeah yeah that's by the way they're i don't mean to generalize and stereotype but they're known for their asses yeah and that's like a lot of bf and there's a lot of bf going on that would be so fun i wonder if max would never actually like want to insert back there if he'd just be like i just want to i want the friction from the rubbing on your butt and then like a brazilian person would be like put it in place max now put it in and max would be like no no no baby i want the friction this is what this is my thing you know this is my thing i want I want the friction on the right nut. Please, Max, please put it in.
Put it in now.

I want you inside of me. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not going inside. Stop saying that.
Shut up. I'll be effing.
No, yeah, that's basically it. That's basically it.
That's exactly it. On Friday night, too.
Yeah, Friday night. Okay, I'm going to stand up for high school football here.
I feel like this is encroaching on their territory, right? Friday night, that's when the kids play. That's what they did when they did the Jets-Dolphins game on Black Friday.
They basically were like, hey, this is coming. Yeah, fuck high school, huh? That's what they do.
They take every day. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Yeah, Fridays are weird.
Also, you have to be careful. And I know as your former fantasy manager, you've got to set lineups for those Friday games.
You forget about them. And then they get locked in.
And you're stuck with someone that you don't want brandon cooks or something um as part of our review process for how the season went um what was our final record it wasn't good i stopped watching i'm so sorry my name is my name okay but i let you down this season big time big time and um the only thing to do is to get back up and start working again and that's going to take us to the nfc east uh cowboys cowboys need a second receiver you know i don't mind i i don't mind dak prescott i i don't mind the Cowboys. Tony Pollard was non-existent.

I think I told all the AWLs to draft him.

I'm sorry.

He sucked.

He sucked.

Why?

Why did he suck?

When you're the backup, you get those carries after everyone does the hard yards and then you have that burst.

You actually said that.

I remember you saying that. And it's like, maybe we don't want him to be the featured back.

He also had that knee injury that probably slowed him down a little bit yeah it was a bummer of a season for them um I mean I'm sitting in Hank's chair so I feel like I gotta defend them yeah great defense though I am gonna talk about Tiffany Gomez in a second I'm gonna save that though because I need to collect my thoughts uh Giants I want to apologize again again to the AWLs. I told them to waste their fourth-round pick on Darren Waller, and that was an error.
Darren Waller, no matter what. Yep.
When did you realize you fucked that up? Was it week one? About halfway through week one. Yeah.
Bad. That was a real error.
And then I bet when DeVito got in, you were like, well, maybe there's going to be connection there.

Maybe this is good.

It was a fun story until it wasn't until everything came back down to earth.

That was a good interview.

Love that interview.

That was really good.

Sean Stilato.

The commanders.

Yeah.

What's going to happen with them?

Oh, we're going to be great in like two years.

Two years. This year, we're going to get a quarterback like two years.
Two years.

This year, we're going to get a quarterback.

Which one?

We got Cliff.

Any of the three.

Any of the top three, I'm fine.

Interesting.

Yeah.

What happens to Howell?

Who I didn't mind.

Howell is probably going to be a great backup.

Probably one of the best backups.

Actually, we're cornering the backup market.

We've got Sam Howell

and we got Jacoby Brissett.

Hmm.

I think we're set.

Okay.

I didn't mind them.

I didn't mind them

early in the season.

Yep.

Until like week four,

like really early in the season.

Just need to see.

If you guys rehire me,

I just need to see

what's going to happen.

NFC West,

why am I so,

why do the 49ers bore me so much? Why are boring yeah i don't it doesn't make sense no it makes no sense they're fun they really are yeah they do you like you don't like running the football it's just like what do you want like 20 points from all your players starters every week is that what you want i don't know i'm so bored hey you know what by the way there's another i don't want to make this about celebrity football couples but there's a pretty famous football couple on the 49ers you know um olivia colpo beautiful woman and christian mccaffrey arguably the best player in the league the best player in the league um like nobody talks about like nobody really talks about them like i'm telling you there's a boredom that happens with the 49ers and i know i've talked about the guy i work with who always gets in my face and he's he's just a volatile man he's just a tattooed volatile man who just always says to me like and the niners just had one of those seasons this year he's always like like, yeah, you like the Niners, right? You like that again. Steamrolling.
Yeah. Nothing.
Yeah, the Packers didn't even put a scare into us. Like, we just, for a second there, I thought, but look at us.
Niners punch you in the mouth. It's just so, I can't draft them.
They're too boring. It's 20 points every week.
20 points every week. That sucks.
Yeah, that sucks. Oh, let's talk about the Seahawks.
Is Penix going to be their quarterback? Oh, that'd be cool. Are you thinking just because you went to Washington? Yeah.
Okay. And isn't there...
That makes sense. Hold on a second.
You guys are no better than I do because you have fast internet. But's the new Seahawks offensive coordinator? I think it is someone from the Washington Huskies.
Please look it up. Jake.
Jake. They just hired Steve Belichick as their defensive coordinator.
Offensive coordinator. Jake.
Waiting on Jake. Jake.
Jake. Jake.
Come on Jake do do do can't get it this is sad what you're killing me man you're fucking killing me they might be they might be doing interviews because he just got hired last week okay maybe they're doing interviews um I don't think they've hired anyone okay um I'm sorry Jake I apologize I apologize like I've I did you that info. Don't apologize.
Like, I did you wrong. Like, get mad.
Like, say I shouldn't. Apology off.
Jake, say I had no right to do that. Say that.
You had no right to do that, Jerry. Say it.
Just get mad, Jake. You had no right to do that, Jerry.
No, Jake. Mean it.
You had no right to do that. Yeah, that's pretty good.
It's even faker. Oh, I love the Rams.
You know why?

Because they don't score 20 points every week. They like sometimes score, like sometimes Stafford is like 40 points and then some weeks nothing.
It's so fun. The Cardinals.
I got to tell you something. I, sometimes I'm not allowed to watch football in my house.
because my family's there

and they watch reality TV on Sundays. There's a show called 90 day fiance that comes on on Sundays that my wife and my children watch.
And so we have, um, one, it's like a tuner, like a, like a one tuner that you have to use in our house. So I've been listening to some NFL games this season, like on the SiriusXM app.
Old school, yeah. And it is interesting listening to a game.
And we, one week, we streamed Kyler Murray because we had Joe Burrow and that didn't work out well. And then I think we had to start Kyler Murray in our league.
And I listened to a Cardinals game. The entire game I was doing like yard work.
And I was really thinking to myself, I had an edible, so I was a little out of it. But I thought to myself, am I the only person in the world listening? It was like week 16.
Am I the only person in the world listening to this Cardinals radio telecast? Yeah, probably. Yeah, you might have been.
But I want to go back. You're only able to watch one show on all the TVs in your house? It's like a – for a second there, we were – we have like a direct TV thing, and it was – we were only allowed to watch on one tuner, but we fixed that since then.
One of our tuners was out. Okay.
Dave Pash, voice of the Cardinals. He does ESPN too.
He's really good. So you enjoyed.
Yeah. No, his voice sounded great.
He did a great job. Those are the comments that you don't have to take from Jake.
Just so you know. We don't care about the announcer of the Cardinals radio broadcast.
You know Dave Pash. Don't ever fucking interrupt me again.
There it is. Don't fucking do it.
There it is. I'm actually not joking.
Don't interrupt me. When I'm on a roll, when I'm on a bit, don't interrupt me.
If Hank is in the middle of his comedy act today and he's like, knock, knock. Knock, knock.
Say it, Jake. Knock, knock.
Who's there? Don't fucking interrupt me i'm kidding no uh let me do a hank joke uh knock dog who's there uh epstein epstein who i was i was murdered that's a good joke great joke um i like it jerry sorry well i'm kidding jake we fucking love you calm down by the way you're making me into a mean person i'm not a bully you're turning me into one um yeah you did this to yourself jake yeah um and the nfc south absolutely no one not one player loves the strongest argument guys that's it that's my pitch think about it okay that's um that's all i got for you yeah all right strong me a culpa jerry how how are you feeling about the super bowl before we do hot seat cool throne are you gonna you like the chiefs or the 49ers you know i had a pretty terrible year betting on games this year as i told you um i bet on the bengals right before uh joe burrow's hand fell off um um and i had a future on baltimore because i listened to this podcast and you somehow fucking got into my brain yeah that's my bad um and i think i was really rooting against taylor swift i just kept betting against taylor swift i was like you need to learn failure like very talented woman beautiful woman i've met her wonderful like a presence like a presence like a of a force but like life life is just like a shit show it's just like it's just one let down after another and be that easy life isn't this it's not that it shouldn't be this easy it isn't this easy it's a nightmare life is a nightmare and like the most traumatic thing to happen to Taylor Swift I guess is Kanye taking saying Beyonce deserved this like is that really that traumatic it's kind of a cool story like if you're like oh my Taylor, tell the time that yay came on stage.

I just, I'm just in a bad mood. I'm not, and I'm actually, I have no idea who's going to win this game, so I'm not going to bet on it.
I'm just going to watch it. Okay.
Just enjoy it. Are you going to watch, are you allowed to watch the entire game? I think I am.
I think I am. You know, it's funny.
I, my wife, um,

I, I think I am um you know it's funny I I my wife um former supermodel look it up yep look it up Jake when I look her up though it says that your marriage is on the wrong it's not that's a joke okay it's not true um my wife doesn't like football doesn't like the sound of the NFL Rebecca Rom'connell yeah she doesn't have the o'connell she only took the stamos um and then dropped it and then i i actually took the stamos i'm jerry o'connell stamos jerry o stamos i tried to take it i'm looking at pictures of her she yeah no yeah she's supermodel yeah but the only time you're telling me to look her time i've really um i was watching oh man i wish hank was here too bad he's uh knock knock who's there um uh jay sixers jay sixers who we were just peaceful protesting that's good it's good yeah um but the only game, the only Super Bowl I really watched from beginning to end with my wife was that Patriots-Falcons game. And it was really funny.
My wife wasn't watching it. My wife was shopping online.
My wife wasn't watching it. And it's so funny.
In the fourth quarter, I can't believe that. I was hate watching it because I wanted to see the Patriots lose.
And I couldn't believe what was happening. and my wife like looked up from I don't believe that.
I was hate watching it because I wanted to see the Patriots lose and I couldn't believe what was happening.

And my wife looked up from, I don't know,

Wayfair or whatever fucking pillow she was buying,

another fucking pillow.

Oh God, let's go to Brazil, Max.

Let's go.

Yes.

A boy's trip.

Let's go to Brazil, Max.

Actually, that'd be a fun trip.

Jerry and Max do Brazil.

Yeah.

That'd be a great trip.

That'd be a great trip.

I'll see you next time. boys trip let's go to brazil max actually that'd be a fun trip jerry and max do brazil yeah it'd be a great trip it'd be a great trip um but um my wife looked up and went are the patriots gonna win this game i'll and that was like i was like are you watching this and my wife was like they were down 28 to 3 are they gonna come back and win this game and i uh that was the last sort of like happy moment we had with each other.
Yeah. Sounds like she knows ball.
Would she like to manage her fancy team? I would be open. Oh God.
It's so annoying. My, my wife is from Northern California.
So like all the time now she's like bang, bang Niner gang. It's so stupid.
God, that's another annoying thing about Niners fans. My wife has like Niners gear and she wears it.
And like people on the street are always like, bang, bang. Is this why you hate the Niners? Is it because it makes your wife happy? It reminds him of his wife.
Yeah. No.
I like my significant other to be. I like everyone to be happy.
I'm just.

I don't know.

This season was a letdown.

I let you down as a fantasy owner.

Fantasy manager.

No, you're the owners.

I'm the manager.

I hope you find it in your heart to, you know, Sirianni me.

Yeah, bring in some good coordinators.

How about that?

I tend to work by myself.

I mean, that's who I tend to work with.

And Jake, I'm sorry.

I don't know. yeah bring in some good coordinators how about that i i tend to work by myself i mean that's that's who i tend to work with and jake i'm sorry i jumped on you like no i'm sorry for interrupting but just think about it yeah okay who's sorrier between jerry and jake they're both so polite yeah i mean only one of us will lose sleep about it so yeah uh before we get into hot before we do hot seat cool throne there was was a fun story that jake sent to us a couple months ago about jerry and an awl this podcast yes so jerry you you found an awl's dog you saved a dog i have um i have uh man this is gonna really impress everybody here.
I have five dogs. Oh, they're all rescues.
Adopt. Don't shop.
We do not feed them regular kibble. We only feed them.
Farmer's dog. Farmer's dog.
It's so great. They come in the bags.
You open them. They love it.
Yeah, they love it. Farmer's dog is just good stuff.
But I was running my two younger ones who were kind of crazy and I got to run them around. And there was a beautiful golden retriever sitting by themselves in the middle of the street, just sitting there in my neighborhood.
No leash, sitting there. And my went crazy.
Cause it's like a, you know, it's like a rogue dog. And like my dogs went over to this dog and they immediately became friendly.
And it's so funny. Dogs like to run in packs, you know, it's like, it's like being an AWL.
You want to get in a pack? You know what I mean? I'm running around the MGM here. We're all high-fiving each other, taking selfies taking selfies and stuff i had the briefcase down there people wanted photos of me in the briefcase um and um i got the dog and it's difficult having a dog without a leash you know so i was like holding this dog and i i texted the number on the i there was a number on there and i texted the number and i said hey hey, I got a beautiful golden retriever here.
Is this your dog?

I think I sent a photo.

And I said, my name is Jerry O'Connell. You know, I'm in the neighborhood.
Your dog's fine. I can hang out here for a little bit.
And I immediately got a text back saying I fucking drafted Darren Waller. And There was very little Gratitude for me standing With a dog And at first I was angry Um But again I They're right I really like I really Led a lot a lot of people rely on me for their fantasy.
Yeah, facts. Picks, facts, strategies, draft strategies.
And again, much like I talked about earlier, money is involved typically. And I felt bad about that.
So yeah, it's just funny how my season last season as your fantasy manager is still following me. But the dog was okay, and we sort of had a laugh about it.
You're a hero. Yeah, I don't know if I'm a hero.
No, you're a hero. Thank you for your service, Jerry.
I know. Come on with my Billy.
Come on. Here we go.
All right, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne. We're going to get right back to the show.

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All right, back to part of my take.

So, Jerry, you are sitting in Hank's seat.

Do you want to go first or we can go first and then come back around to you? Yeah, yeah. You guys go first.
Okay. All right.
Well, we'll start with Jake. We'll come around.
Jake, your hot seat, cool throne. My hot seat is MetLife Stadium.
Yeah. It was recently announced that the very cursed stadium in the NFL world will be hosting the 2026 World Cup Final.
Yes. However, I believe they're switching it to grass correct but it's still curse yeah fifa is making them switch to grass fifa is also not calling them by the name metlife stadium it's just new york new jersey which made me realize like we don't ever have to call these stadiums by their corporate names if we don't want to be giant and it's always heinz field yeah to me it's not it's not accurate but yeah Staples Center yeah yeah what is that even is crypto.com yeah yeah not anymore yeah I'm surprised were you upset that you didn't get involved in the FTX is that kind of just a that's a level of your celebrity you weren't there yet you know it's funny um just getting back to the whole like um waking up with fear angry at the world thing um i remember when it was all happening i was like man why am i not on this level like yeah how do i like by the way they were like getting paid and like owner they were getting paid not only in like currency in a currency they were getting paid in like it would be like getting paid in a banking system yeah like and i remember feeling um what's the word jealousy envy anger and um man i was so happy when they all got sued it was so exciting like yeah pay up brady yeah matt damon you duped us all you know it It would be like telling people to draft like Darren Waller in the fourth night.
Exactly. And people believing you.
Yeah. Cut that one out.
Just cut that one out. All right.
Your cool throw? My cool throw in his Lions general manager, Brad Holmes. So he had his, I think it was his end of year press conference.
And he just roasted the media about their old takes exposed. I don't know if you guys saw any of these quotes.
No. But he told someone, you wanted us to pick a quarterback.
You didn't want us to pick Penny Sewell. I know you said that was a miss.
I give probably two people in this room credit for admitting they were wrong. So he just lashed out.
I like this. I think the media should be held accountable.
When we're wrong, you tell us we're wrong. Enemy of the people.
Because we're not scared to tell you that you suck. Yep.
So you should tell us when we're wrong. Tell the media when they suck.
Yeah. Yeah.
So like, if we're wrong, tweet at us. We're wrong.
Go after us. I don't think you should do that.
I don't think you should do that. I just think you have to, like, act above.
I think you have to sort of, like. No, I disagree.
We're also very petty so yeah there's a reason why we're not but honestly like uh one could say that the eagles downfall began when someone pretty high up in their coaching organization were yelling at fans in arrowhead stadium which is like it's petty you know yeah i see what you're saying true but he's probably holding that in in the heat of the moment at the podium. That would be a great speech to give if they won the Super Bowl.
Yeah. Yeah.
But they lost. So, yeah, you got to wait.
You got to hold that one. All right.
PFT, your hot seat, Coltrone? My hot seat is Drake. Yes.
Drake's on the hot seat. Jerry, have you seen the internet today? I have not.
No. Drake International superstar Top of his game Sure I think most number one singles of all time He was jacking off And a video came out He has a penis He has a penis I'll put it this way His penis won't be getting any NFL head coaching opportunities Because it's too large and intimidating Oh wow Oh it's too large Yeah He's got a big dick yeah huge dick god what a bummer it's so much better to hear like you guys were like filming a commercial and you stole glances at each other's dicks and they weren't big like yeah no we're not like drake unfortunately drake i actually think my my conspiracy theory brain tells me that drake leaked this himself because it's a good angle it's like you.
And he's got a big dick. And he's got a big dick.
Yeah. So if anything, my respect for Drake increased to that.
It's really big. What a bummer.
Yeah. It's a really big bummer.
Yeah. They don't make butts big enough in Brazil for his dick.
Yeah. Yeah.
No insertion, though. Yeah.
No, just cranking it. Yeah.
Hot dog in the bun. Just cranking it.
My cool throne throne is chinese spy pigeons chinese spy pigeons are on the cool throne there was a pigeon that got it was imprisoned it got arrested in india and it was held in jail for eight months yeah because they thought it was a chinese spy pigeon they um they saw that it had like these two metal rings on its leg and the metal rings had chinese writing on it and i guess the chinese have used spy pigeons before so they imprisoned much like Brittany Griner they imprisoned this pigeon in India for a long time they conducted a thorough review of the situation they found out it was a Taiwanese racing pigeon which apparently is a thing that you can bet on which sounds awesome and these pigeons can make like professional athlete salaries like these pigeons are some of the richest athletes in the world and so they determined it was a racing pigeon they released it now it's in a hospital recuperating from its stay in indian prison but it's a good story i don't know the name i want to find out what the name of this pigeon is um but yeah they did a deep and proper inquiry and investigation they did not find any fact associated with spying and the pigeon. It was released last week and it is in fine health, according to the hospital.
So a good story with a good ending. They should have had like a pigeon, a prisoner exchange, like a pigeon exchange with like a war crimes pigeon.
A Chinese warlord gets returned from India. For the other pigeon.
And then they pass each other on the tarmac.

Like bridge of spies.

Yeah, that would rock.

All right, I got two hot seats.

One is, I guess, cable.

No, cable might be on the cool throne.

ESPN, Fox, and Warner Brothers are all combining.

So we just have cable again.

Yeah, so into another.

It's for sports, right?

Yeah, so I guess maybe the hot seat is just us forever believing that we were going to not end up back at cable. Yeah.
So let me just ask this. So Fox Sports and ESPN are, because I know they are the same company.
It's Fox, Warner Brothers, and ESPN. And so is there going to be, like, because some, there's, I know there's a Fox Sports and an ESPN, but I know they're both owned by Disneyney are they going to be one channel is emerging i think they're teaming up for like an app for a streaming service yeah yeah yeah all right yeah so i don't know it's stupid uh just let me watch all the sports i don't care yeah stop with the shit just tell me where to watch espn warner brothers and fox are launching a new sports streaming service combining each company's sports rights yeah which i like for one reason though uh because going back and forth between espn and fox sports on your phone or tablet on a college football saturday yeah sucks it sucks ass so i'm very glad about this um all right then my other hot seat pft alluded to it mike vrabel for being too big.
Incredible Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Diana Rossini who only reports facts. Yep.
Scoops Rossini is what they're calling her. Yep.
She said that she had a GM at the Senior Bowl who mentioned to me, Vrabel's physical build, that he's a very large human being and can be very intimidating to people in an organization that are going to be part of these decisions. And that is a factor.
It's always, I mean, you have to understand, if you're a football owner, large human beings, you don't want to be around them. No.
Will they be able to communicate effectively with other large human beings? Yeah. You want a nerd.
Yeah. You want a tiny little nerd.
I do like the idea, though, of owners just being intimidated by big people. Yeah.
Just like, I don't want to deal with this guy. He could kick my ass.
Yeah. Vrab yeah variable is he is a large human being and then my cool throne is andy reed who is not going to retire wow he had noted small guy successful football coach andy reed yeah yeah he uh they did a big article about him on espn where he was all just football guy quotes where he said uh he'll spend a couple hours a day on football whether he's watching video or drawing up plays for possible inclusion in the playbook.
He said, I enjoy doing that. Some people read novels.
I look at plays. They interviewed Dave Tobe, special teams coach.
He said football is his hobby. This is all he does.
I'm trying to get Andy to play golf. I'm trying to get him to go hunting.
He just won't do it. Andy Reid also has a bucket list that he won't reveal.
But he said, there are things you want to do. I try to chip away at them.
There's nothing huge. I went to Italy last summer.
Good eating. I ate my way from the north to the south.
And then Patrick Mahomes said, other than spending time with his grandkids, he doesn't do any of that stuff. He's all about football and cheeseburgers.
I have to get my hands on this bucket list from Andy Reid. I got to know what's on that.
It's just eating in different countries. Yeah, eating my way through different countries in Europe.
It's like, oh, I went to this country. I'm going to eat some more.
My prediction, they win the Super Bowl. He probably goes to France.
Yeah. Eats his way through France.
Eats his way through France. All right, Jerry, finish us off.
Hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat is Hank. Okay.
Tonight is doing comedy. And I want to say I've really been thinking about him.
He's been in my thoughts. Tiffany as well? Well, I know that Hank went and did the comedy store or something in Chicago.
Laugh Factory. Laugh Factory, sorry.
I know those are two different teams. Yeah, two or four.
And I really hope that he, because he could go up and he could be quite effective if he tells his story of Barstool. I think that's what he's going to do.
Because that, to me, is what we want to hear. By the way, I already got the pay-per-view.
I'm already getting it. Jake, give it a plug.
Barstool.tv slash PPV. Well, this is coming out tomorrow.
You can still buy it. Yeah, you can still get it.
Look, there's no linear viewing anymore or whatever they call it.

I know you're talking about the ESPN Fox Sports app, but whatever.

I hope he just tells his story.

Yeah.

Fucking Max with the yawn when I'm talking.

Yeah.

Who the fuck are you? Are you boring, Max?

You're boring.

The fuck?

A huge loud yawn?

I'd rather you farting and fucking 33B on a flight over.

What the fuck?

Max, were you worried that your behavior on a plane was so, so abhorrent that

Thank you. I'd rather you farting and fucking 33.
No, that was a fight over. Max, were you worried that your behavior on a plane was so, so abhorrent that Hank was going to come put a hole in your wall?

No, I was not worried about that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Now I got it.

Now I got it.

Delayed onset.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now I'm good.

I'm good.

I'm good.

Max, I'm a fucking guest.

And you yawn loudly in the middle of me telling my hot seat.

And now what he did was he passed it to me.

I'm about to yawn. Oh, man.
Who are you, Hank? And my cool throne is Hank. Uh-huh.
Okay. I have such an intense attraction to Tiffany Gomez.
It is

It's actually

I am

I'm obsessed with her i'm obsessed and i'm gonna tell you why i've thought about it i you know i follow her on social media and i even i don't slip into dms i'm not that's a very that's a very non-horny way of saying i follow her on instagram by the way follow her on instagram but i even like leave comments like looking good girl url like g url like go mavs i'm not even a mavs fan she's like always in a jersey she's always going to sporting events she's beautiful her hair is perfect i think the thing i'm most attracted to is that there's a real mental issue there that I don't know if it's drug induced. Like those people are fucking real.
I see those people. Like Hank put a hole in her wall.
And if I did that in my house, if I went up to a wall in my house and ran my knee in there, I'm not allowed to put a cup of water on a table without using a coaster. If there's a water ring there, I'm not having sex for years.
I mean, years. If I wear a pair of shoes in the house and there's like a speck of dirt on them like i'm not touching my wife like touching her for years and here's a woman who is going to cowboys games and hank is kicking holes in her wall and he spent not only the weekend there he was there till tuesday wednesday yeah couldn, couldn't fly back.
I'm really, I gotta give it to Hank. That's...
It's good work. It really is good work.
I'm really attracted to her. Look, I don't want...
Tiffany, don't at me. I don't want any communication.
Please, no communication. No DMs, nothing.
Please. I don't want to go down that road.

Can't have a trace of that.

Yeah.

But I'm like,

Hank is in my cool throne for just being in the presence of the most beautiful woman in the world.

Jerry, I just added you to the list.

Yeah.

Bonk list.

You're on the bonk list.

Have you closed your eyes and thought about them, Jerry? Be honest. You know, I want answers.
I don't want to get into like... Honestly, I've thought more about Max TFing and now BFing.
That's an image. Yeah.
That's an's an image like i haven't like i don't have an image of uh of a hank and tiffany gomas okay that's good gomas gomas you got it right gomas yeah well jerry thank you as always oh man you are the best we love you so much no rollback question uh no we already did it with boomer oh oh. You want one? Well, I mean, I just wrote a couple things down.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah. Empty the clip.
It's not a R-H-O-B-A-C-K-A. Yeah, yeah.
How do you spell it? Whatever. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.
Sometimes I write a little poem. I know I let everybody down this season with my fantasy managing.
Think about it, guys.

Think about it.

But I wrote a little poem.

I like to pick someone out on the staff.

Yeah.

And just write just a few words for them.

And this episode, I chose Max.

Yeah.

This is a poem for Max.

Okay.

Love it.

Maxie, Maxie, Maxie. To the man with the beautiful beard and also the beautiful hair maxi maxi maxi to the man who is really really good at keeping a balloon up in the air maxi maxi maxi to our friend who is always entertaining and as for punishments you are a glutton maxi maxi maxi our friend whose career defining moment was forgetting to hit the recording button way to go maxi maxi maxi your work here pardon my take is nothing short of genius maxi maxi maxi whether it's helping the boys with edits or telling them to steal glances that big cat's micro penis maxi maxi maxi your team won a lot of games your qb threw a lot of darts.
Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, your team won a lot of games.

Your QB threw a lot of darts.

Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, asking for a friend,

what is the monthly fee for subscribing to Only Farts?

Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, when defending your Philly fandom,

never do you ever refrain?

Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, your vocabulary is verbose, even though the only book you've ever read was girl on a train maxi maxi maxi hearing about your titty fucking prowess never ever fails whether you're titty fucking in overalls or titty fucking in pigtails titty fucking with stroud titty fucking with golf titty fucking with devito titty fucking with theoud. Titty fucking with Goff.

Titty fucking with DeVito. Titty fucking with

the Barstool Sports Store that has 20%

off. Titty fucking

on the streams. Titty fucking on the show.

Titty fucking on Viva La Stool.

Titty fucking with an infected

toe.

Titty fucking in the summer. Titty fucking

in the fall. Titty fucking in the spring.

Titty fucking in the summer Titty fucking in the fall Titty fucking in the spring Titty fucking little you small

Titty fucking with the Kelsey's

Titty fucking with Tay-Tay

Titty fucking with Mahomes

Titty fucking little boy ass

Maxie, Maxie, Maxie

As the king of titty fucking

It all must just go to your head

Titty fucking, titty fucking, titty fucking

Titty fucking, titty fucking

Your ex's best friend right in her own bed

I'm sorry. maxi maxi is the king of titty fucking it all must just go to your head titty fucking titty fucking titty fucking titty fucking titty fucking your ex's best friend right in her own bed maxi maxi maxi you put up with so much like having to find a sink where big cat can go poo poo maxi maxi maxi having to sit through everyone's takes and jake doing that stupid dude do it do it i fucking hate it but maxi maxi maxi we love you on the show you're the best you're the man you are the bomb maxi maxi maxi we love our angry little philly fan but remember to watch your mouth or you'll get a text from the mom.
Max Delanthe, everybody.

Good job, Max.

Good job, good job, Jerry. Incredible.
Jerry, we love you so much. You're such a great part of this show.
So thank you for stopping by. Thank you for wearing that jacket.
Thank you for being you. We love you.
We love you. All right, let's, let's kick it to the Schwarm.
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Barstool Golf Time app now. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest.

It is a Super Bowl week tradition,

which is actually my favorite thing that has become a tradition.

It's the third year in a row.

We have the Schwamm, Chris Berman, in our studio this time.

I love it.

We're not in a hotel in Southbury, which, by the way, you were the most gracious host the last two years, but we wanted to host you this year. So the Schwarm is here.
I mean, it really is a dream for PFT and I to have you be a Super Bowl, you know, every single year tradition, having you on this show. Well, A, it's nice to be in the house, not the house that Ruth built, but the house that pardon my take.
I'll tell you an amazing complex. You fed me lunch.
Now you're going to get the better side of me. Yeah, it is nice.
And I'm proud of you guys. Yeah, thank you.
Thanks for being fans of football. I've told you this every time.
And somehow along the line, you enjoy the way we give you football. Yes.
I mean, Big Cat's right. The secret genius thing that we did at the start was we all got COVID, so we couldn't interview you the first time we wanted to.
So then we had to reschedule making you a Super Bowl week guest and then doing it two years in a row. Now it's like you have to do this every single year.
We got you into it. Oh, I see.
This is a binding. It's a binding.
Oh, yeah. Offer I can't refuse.
No, it's an offer you always can tell them. So here's the's the thing i know it's not going to run till but the day we're taping it of course remember we had this last year yes it's the second which is groundhog's day which is do do do do day we had to bring that back yes of course it's do do do day yeah i mean why wouldn't we do it today yeah yeah he he didn't see a shadow right so we're we're getting early spring.
Oh, yeah. You know what? Was there a book on that? I don't know.
Yeah, I'm sure you could bet on it. Well, the North, half the country hasn't seen the sun in 10 days anyway.
That's right. That was an easy under.
Yes. Yes.
You know what we got to do? We got to go back and look throughout history. When the ground groundhog does not see a shadow is that good for the underdog in the super bowl yeah oh correlate there's got to be a correlation there yeah we'll have our best guys look it up you know what they used to have this remember it took it not till recently that would be after groundhog's day yeah have to go that far back that's true yeah that's true easy research yes easy research so uh the schwam you're here

we want to talk super bowl we want to talk everything so let's let's start with super bowl i was rooting so hard for the schwami super bowl we were yet again like i thought the bills we were believers you have the niners there but it was you know we we come that close again but Chiefss, Niners, initial thoughts. Well, I looked at going into the season before anybody played a game, they were two of the three favorites, if you will, right? So the fact that however they got there, we'll start with the Niners, the fact that they're there is not a surprise.
Now we can get into them a little bit because neither of their playoff wins were, quote, great, but the key word in that sentence is wins. Yep.
Right? And they came from behind, which especially the Lions game. However, they did it.
You know, shouldn't they have gambled? They did it. Right.
So kudos to them. The Chiefs have gone the polar route.
Okay? from the favorites and i know them quite well and usually andy's andy reed's teams or most teams that go somewhere are rolling around thanksgiving or early december since the season goes longer they i think it was christmas day they lost to the Raiders. But it was like they kind of assumed that they were going to be them

who were going to score 40 points.

Maybe 33, we drop a few, but we'll be all right.

We better realize right now what we're not and what we are,

but we're good enough to win with what we are.

That's to Andy, that's to Patrick Mahomes,

that's to Steve Spagnuolo,

that's to anybody you mentioned.

I don't want to say swallow your pride

because this was late in the year.

Yeah.

So the Chiefs...

All right, I'll let you ask the next question.

No, no, but you're right.

Everything is saying.

No, but the Chiefs that made the Super Bowl

are not the Chiefs you expected to make the Super Bowl.

Correct.

But having watched them win in Buffalo, and Miami was, you know, minus 15.

They were going to win that, I think, right?

But they still held them to seven, although I don't know how they were going to score a lot of points.

Right, right.

But to win in Buffalo and to win at Baltimore with really, really low scoring 17. You know, you went on the road, a championship game where you've never gone but they're at ease with who they are but it took them to Christmas to go we ain't going anywhere for like that so it's just interesting the route that they've taken yeah they are and we've made the analogy many times I think everyone in media has but it is the new age Patriots in that you have these seasons where it's like oh because you know even in the Patriots like the the 07 season they don't win the Super Bowl that's the best team they you know ever had 18 and 0 all that but those years when it's like oh is Bill is Tom Brady too old is Bill Belichick lost in like they stumble a little early and then it comes to December and January and they find a way and that's what the Chiefs are doing they're finding ways so here's my question though because it's great because you have seen all this football you are a football historian if Patrick Mahomes wins the Super Bowl where is he in terms of the Montana Brady because it feels like he's inching closer and closer at a very young age he's already in that discussion although he would be the first to tell you why I have won two.
But I would love to sort of answer your question. He's this age's Brady or this generation or this decade's Brady, Montana, and then you want to put in Johnny United, but he did.
Yeah, correct. He's already there because the potential.
Is he 28? 28 years old. I still think of him as 22 and 23.
Yeah. There's something about him.
See, it's funny. Now, I went out and interviewed him a couple weeks ago, and one of the things I told him, and this is how you know he's – I said, you know that Tom's early Super Bowls, when they won three out of four years, by the way, they were not the stars.
Now, Tom Brady drives, end of game, Vinatieri, field goal, et cetera. But it was defense.
So the Carolina game, but they were more defense in 01, 03, 04. Yeah.
And running, especially in 04, they had Dylan. I said, you know that that wasn't the high-flying Tom that you probably have watched.
He goes, actually, I've studied those games, and I see how Tom was, and then obviously the 0-7 team. He came, yeah.
And he lost with 25 touchdowns, whatever. Then at the last one, that one was 13-3.
Yeah. Right? Yeah.
3-3 in the fourth quarter, I think. Yeah.
I think it was tied with the Rams. I bet the over in that game.
He goes, I did. Why do we remember the ones, you remember the ones that are like so bad.
So bad. But like we were just talking Denver and Seattle.
Yeah. We never remember the ones that were geniuses.
Nope. But anyway, back to that.
He goes, and I've studied the way Tom altered his game several times. I wasn't fishing for that answer.
Right. I just wanted to make the point that I lived those Patriots.
They were a defensive team. I mean, name the players, right? The McGinnis and Teddy Bruschi and Big Ted Washington and Ty Law at the corner.
We could go on and on and on. Vrabel a little later on, et cetera.
He goes, I studied. I go, ah, okay.
So you've actually gone back and watched maybe 20 years ago Patriots to see how the GOAT, if you will, did it? Fascinating to me. Yeah.
That's great. Yeah.
It's interesting to see how they've done it. And I feel like we watched that Ravens game last week, and everybody thought the same thing, which is why are you giving your running back six carries against the Chiefs defense? Why don't you run the ball down their throat? I feel like, and going back to that Christmas Day game, I'm pretty sure that's how the Raiders beat them.
I think they just ran the ball at them. I think they did.
Just like you can't stop the run. I think that bodes well for the Niners and their ground game.
Could. Christian McCaffrey.
I feel like the creative stuff they do with the run game, it's beautiful to watch Kyle Shanahan's system, isn't it? You watch him run the ball, and you're like, this is beautiful football. And I feel like that's what they're going to lean into.
That's going to be their strength, and the weakness of the Chiefs defense, I think, is stopping the run. I mean, Chris Jones is great, but I think that's going to be the game plan.
So that might be a good thing for your 49ers. No, it can be.
You know, Buffalo ran for a while, but then Cook had a big first hit, right? I mean, he had a pretty good game in the play. You're right about it being beautiful because anyone that thinks they can, okay, if Debo, which he is now, right, they're all healthy, right, that flow.
But it's not okay. This is kind of the plays they run.
No, no. It's kind of, he changes it up.
And, of course, Debo and McCaffrey, especially Debo, but McCaffrey is unbelievable. I mean, he runs like a guy almost Derrick Henry size.
Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah.
I mean, not really. So their yak with the running game, let alone in the passing game, is formidable.
The Chiefs, though, actually John Harbaugh gave me an interesting thought because he's good friends at Spags. They worked together at Philly.
He in baltimore for a little bit they stay close i mean this group i said is there any tendency you can get on spags's defenses before the game he goes he meant this as an ultimate compliment which is going into your shanahan comment commenter so um it's he's rolodex approach. I went, what do you mean? He said, well, there's so much in that Rolodex that if I start to, he didn't say this, start to, okay, so when it's third and eight, they always bring three guys.
I'm making it up. No, there's not.
And I think with Kyle, it's fascinating. It is beautiful to watch.
I give you for that. It is.
They have all-stars at so many places. Yeah, and they're so physical, too.
You've got Debo and watching Kittle block, those two guys. They get incorporated in the run game, and they bring them in motion to give them head starts on blocks sometimes.
It's beautiful to watch it develop. It's not that, you know, like you think of old-school football, you run the ball, you run the ball up the middle, up the middle, up the middle.
It feels like a passing game in their rushing attack, like buried deep inside of it. And it's just, it's been awesome to watch.
And I'm also rooting for Trent Williams to get a Super Bowl. I think he's a great player.
He's been such a good player for such a long time. I'd like to see him get one.
He was on all the reiterations of the Washington teams, right? They called him, probably was on the Boston Redskins before they moved, right? So who do we have nickname-wise in this Super Bowl? Oh, you know, well the best is, and John Lynch loves this when I do it, it's for Debo. I mean I've resurrected what I used to use for Lito Shepard.
Okay. It's the Lito Shuffle by Boss Gags.
Deebo, whoa. I mean, and if he takes it to the house, part of that song is one more for the road.
Pardon my singing. Pardon my take.
Pardon my singing. So I used to use that.
Remember Lido Shepard? Yeah. But I moved it up here.
I like that. So of that, see Mahomes, he's so good.
I mean, when he first came in, I kind of used Mahomes is where my heart is. But he's so good now that it's like you don't.
But this is important. Like, you see the hat I'm wearing right now.
Someone says the 49ers versus the Chargers Super Bowl, the first thing that comes to my mind, Natron means business. That's it.

That's what I think of. You know who else was on that team? Chargers.
Yeah. Eric sleeping with Biennemi.
Yep, yep, yep. Like, that's it.
You know, you think of the classic games. It's like the nickname just popping your head.
I think those – well, now let's go back to my hosts. one of your most genius, if that's correctly phrased, and you know the backstory, but your viewers and listeners don't know it.
When you last year had, I want to rock and roll all night and purdy every day. Genius.
Everyone knows the song. You're not quoting some song.
What song is that? No, no, no no no no we've all heard that yeah even whether you like kiss or not um and then we were ready to go in the championship game and of course he got hurt right away and forget it right not his fault i had it on my fastest three minutes you guys know this because we called you. I'm going to give you boys a big shout-out, a big viewership.
Aaron Rodgers, who knew that carrying the flag was the highlight of the year. But, you know, the Jets opening up, blah, blah, blah, Buffalo.
And that was at halftime. But then when Aaron got hurt, I got cut.
Yes, I know. Even the fastest three minutes got cut.
News were, I get it.

And then there were a couple of games that I could only use a play or

two in these things. And then

mid-season, I had Josh Krulowitz,

our PRA's, call you and go,

tune in. It's on.

So I give you guys

a big attaboy because that was genius.

I mean, it was an honor.

I got tagged in every single tweet. He did it.
He did it. The ultimate compliment.
So, yeah. Well, we were ready three times.
Yeah. Yeah.
Made my season. I didn't realize that.
That's funny that you were ready to go opening night. Oh, you didn't? And then Aaron Rodgers.
No. I don't think Josh.
Oh, I might not have because opening week, you know. Oh, my God.
You know. Oh.
That's so funny. Oh.
Yeah. it's on a cutting room floor somewhere.
Yeah, I remember when we had our good friend Booger on, we were trying to get him to tell you to use that, trying to get you like an Inception style, like, hey, mention this one to Boom, mention this one to Boom. And we were talking earlier about Booger and how your relationship has grown with him.
Booger's a great co-host for you guys. He does a fantastic job, and it's not an easy job that you guys have to do you were saying you have to just sit down and then boom he gets 20 seconds per highlight clip it's like give us something good that we can work with but how how has your relationship with him grown like did you know day one me and booger we can do this well i had met him a little bit with tampa a little um So I knew of him before he even became on our SEC network and everything.
And then they put him, I was a fan of his when they put him in that impossible position, the Booger Mobile. He had a smile, but it wasn't just like showbiz.
It was like he was seeing things, you know, where the old camera used to be when I was younger on the cart in the front and blocking the view of the fans like he's come up with some good stuff but he has no shot not nobody john madden wouldn't have had a shot okay to put it in perspective so then when we resurrected prime time for espn plus which i think we talked about before, which was, we can't

do it on regular TV.

We can for the championship

and the Super Bowl, which we will

right after the trophy.

So don't go

to sleep yet. Tune in to us.

You guys, if you don't ever sleep.

And Tommy, we got Tommy back. Tom Jackson is, come on.
Yeah. Who's better than Tommy? Yeah.
One of my best friends to this day. We talk every week or two, football and life and stuff.
And that was a blast working with him. And, but then he goes, boom, that's it.
I came back the one year I'm done. And and now who's going to do it and a couple of recommendations in-house and very strongly recommended booger i said my only question for him not me is is there a stigma to the public and it'll probably go away quickly but though the booger mobile that means he's he doesn't know what he's talking about which would be completely false right a but a legitimate question to ask.
I said, I'll put that into your park. No, we think he's great.
He said, let's go, because he's upbeat. He loved football.
He was good at it. Won two rings, which doesn't necessarily make you smarter than anyone else, but he knows what it takes with two different teams.
Played with Peyton his last year with the Colts, on that great Bucs defense with four Hall of Famers from the defense. Yeah.
And we hit it off right away because he's not out to be – I don't want to say the star. Oh, I'm the star.
I don't mean that. He's not out to say things, oh, everybody will see that.
Yeah, right. It's not what that show is.
It's genuine, that show is and he's got something sometimes i'm a little behind on highlights i mean nobody's perfect he might have had a little 10 second thing that we were going to talk about and but i'm behind i gotta go to the next play and sit there and soak and go well that was the only chance to get in the way trent williams is blocking for example right yeah. He's got something no matter what I ask him.
He's a joy. Tommy 2.0.
Yeah, and he's incredible. It helps his name's Booger, too.
Yeah. You can't hate a guy named Booger.
Boomer and Booger. Yeah.
I mean, you just change one letter. It's not really that hard.
Vanna White could do it. By the way, Jake looked it up.
Since 2000, when Phil does not see his shadow, the favorites are 4-2. Oh.
So there's not very many. Yeah, not many.
And also the not shadow. He usually sees his shadow.
Not shadow means you got winter. Yep.
No, not shadow means spring. So that's what happened this time.
Which are 4-2. So if you want to go with that trend, and he went and looked it up, he did a great job.
Shout out Jake. So maybe it's the Niner.
I've already said I'm done betting against Mahomes. I've lost four futures in the last two years.
It's over. The library.
Yeah, I can't do it. I can't.
It's like you get to a point with Saban or Belichick, you bet on a game and you have an outcome where it's like you win or lose. But when you bet on a game against Saban or Belichick, you can lose and also feel really stupid because you bet against Saban or Belichick.
They didn't go 100%. But that's how you feel.
And that's where Mahomes is now where it's like, okay, I'd rather lose with Mahomes than lose going against Mahomes. And everyone says, how do you not bet on Mahomes? Well, he's an underdog again.
I know. I know a point or two as we speak.
Yeah. But actually, I've reminded myself, they were getting one or two last year, which was a great Super Bowl.
Yep. With the Eagles.
Yep. But they've been an underdog on the road to Buffalo and Baltimore.
I mean, so here's the thing with him. To your point, I mean, when Tom Brady got the ball, I mean, I'm not just pointing to 28-3, obviously.
Right. I mean, you felt you had a chance.
Right. Unless you're down 28-3 with two minutes to go.
Unlikely. Okay.
Don't you feel good if you're on Mahomes and the game is good down 10 five minutes to go not necessarily feeling good because that means niners are playing really good defense how about down 10 with eight minutes to go against the san francisco 49ers in the super bowl that happened yeah and mahomes or how about that literally happened about down with 13 seconds right yeah right so. So not 10, but three.
Yeah. So you're watching.
I'm not saying a Niner play is dumb because they have all-stars at every level. We went through the offense, didn't even mention Juszczyk or Ayuk.
Yeah. Or third and Juwan.
That's what they call him, Juwan Jennings. They call him third and Juwan.
See, there you go. That's not mine.
Oh, yeah, you do. And by the way, Brock Purdy, he runs pretty good in case nobody knows.
Yeah, not bad, right? Yeah. In case that's a little element.
And then defensively, when I'm getting back to it, Nick Bosa's second half, I'm not saying where were you. I mean, he's double and triple.
But we didn't see him wreck a game like a T.J. Watt or like Garrett did for two-thirds of the season with Cleveland, et cetera.
I'm not knocking Nick, but when is – and we got it in the second half. Now, is that what you see in the Super Bowl? Yeah.
Because when he he's like that and armstead and chase young's not looked good there but that's not to say in 60 minutes he you know there it's a four-man rush not that nobody rushes for but they always can rely they don't have to bring because they get pressure of like five when it's four when they're like that. Now, the Chiefs offensive line is maybe the most underrated.
Agreed. In the playoffs.
They've been playing great. Even though Tooney's out.
Yeah. And like, yeah, Patrick Mahomes, the first time he got sacked in the playoffs was second half against Baltimore.
It's crazy. Like, they really are very underrated.
And that is, it's the thing that I just can't like give the Chiefs enough credit because Mahomes is Mahomes. But the conscious decision they made when they're like, all right, Tyree Kill, you're going to go to Miami, and we're going to invest in the offensive line, and we're going to get young on the defense because this guy, Mahomes, gives us a shot no matter who's catching balls.
And those guys have gotten a lot better, but it's proven this year. They're in the Super Bowl.
And what was the story all year? They got no wide receivers. Now you see Rasheed Rice.
That's how you build a team around a player like Mahomes. Well, yeah, they took it to the limit a little bit, but you know, in watching them against Baltimore, by the way, Rice is now, and of course, Flowers, so they kind of, they had better offensive weapons than Baltimore did, certainly in the passing game.
And they were dropping stuff left and right. Like it was – who can catch? Pacheco can catch on a screen.
Little McKinnon, who's hurt, can catch screens. He's a good receiver.
But that's not your – until Rasheed Rice – well, he had a nice year all the way. But he came certain things.
That's why Kelsey didn't get open for six weeks. I know.
But all of a sudden, if Rice is working, Kelsey can get open even if he's hammered at the leg. And he knows they've been doing it his whole career.
So they don't – and Scantling caught a big ball at the end. He caught two the week.
And he's one of the more popular guys on the team. So they're like, yeah, the team was fired up for him.
But that being said, so the one little curveball on the Niners, sounds like I'm all this way. I'm not because that rush can negate a lot of things, and Warner and Greenlaw are outstanding.
Duh. And, you know, their DBs, they had a lot of interceptions at the end of the year.
Wards had a really former chief. But they, if you look stats, which sometimes.
Doesn't tell the whole story. No, never do.
Teams have made hay here and there. I don't mean made hay with the secondary, but that's where they go.
No, you're right, especially Green Bay. Green Bay kind of exploit them a little bit, and that was a game that the Niners could have very easily lost.
But, yeah, Ambry Thomas. Is that his name? Ambry Thomas? Yeah, Ambry Thomas.
Specifically him. He's had some very shaky games.
Yeah. So that makes me a little bit nervous.
But I do feel like Andy Reid is in love with throwing the football. I don't think he's ever going to be a guy that hands the ball off, you know, 25, 30 times a game.
But Pacheco's good enough, especially in playoff weather, where Reid thinks about it now. He's like, maybe I should give.
The Ravens game. I think it was like 20, 24.
Maybe I should give Pacheco the ball a little bit more, which I like from Andy, being able to adapt a little bit

because if there's one guy I thought would never adapt to something like that,

it would be Andy Reid, you know,

like going back to the Brian Westbrook days and all that stuff.

But it seems to me like they do have –

they've got a running game that you have to account for,

which is a little bit different for the Chiefs.

Yeah.

Well, but where did Andy – where was he?

He was an offensive lineman.

So even though he's a passing guru, and I call him the grandson of Bill Walsh, okay? Because Bill Walsh is, to me, Bill Walsh, okay? Mike Holmgren is the direct descendant. We might have discussed this once, direct descendant.
Other people ran the West Coast, but you know what? Oh, 10 of us are running the West Coast. Andy Reid was with Mike for those 10 years, almost 10 years in Green Bay, and kind of, that's the direct line.
So, yes, he's passing, but he also was an offensive lineman. So, he's going back to his roots, and if he didn't this year, late, I don't think they'd be playing in this game.

Back to one thing on Chiefs that I don't know the public has understood.

Of course, you understand it.

We're seeing whether they win or lose.

I mean, we know what the numbers are.

But four out of five in the Super Bowl?

Yeah.

And Dee Ford doesn't step over there.

They would have been in that one.

Yeah.

In it, beating the Patriots.

I mean, but he did.

I'm not going to be able to do that. in the Super Bowl.
Yeah. And Dee Ford doesn't step over there.
They would have been in that one. Yeah.
In it, beating the Patriots, I mean, but he did. So the only ones that have gone four and five years to appear, Buffalo needless to say, right, four in a row, and New England, latter New England, 14, 16, 17, 18.
So there were three and one in those. This doesn't happen, especially now when you're losing with a Tyreek Hill.
Yeah. Well, no, they don't.
So this is whether you want the Chiefs to win, not you guys, to win or lose, or you want the Niners, whatever, appreciate that this doesn't happen. And if we get a repeat champ, it's been 19 years.
Yeah, yeah. Now, I'm 68, okay? Now, before that, it was once a decade, right? The Packers, when they started the Super Bowl, and then the Steelers twice, and then the Niners, which I lived.
Then, obviously, the Cowboys, and then the Patriots. Broncos.
Broncos. My bad.
Yeah, yeah. My bad.
Yeah, so that was more often. I didn't mean to admit Elway at the end.
That was unbelievable. No, no.
And they knocked out the Packers. The Broncos have been going through it the last five years.
No, no, no. My bad.
Shanahan and McCaffrey on that. But then, but after, yeah, 03-04, so it's 19 years.

So if it doesn't happen this year,

and whoever wins has a chance to repeat next year, I get it.

19 plus 68 is 87?

Yeah.

I might not see another one.

I kind of wouldn't mind seeing one.

No, you're right, though.

It is crazy to think that it would happen every decade. You'd get a repeat, and it's been a long time.
Now to the Niners' credit, they've been in championship game. They've had a chance, to their credit, these same five years.
Right. Right? And if Brock Purdy doesn't get hurt, they'd probably kill the Eagles.
Might have. Maybe not killed it.
I don't think you're getting a free cheesesteak in Philly. Now, our producer, Max, is a big Eagles fan, and he's not here today, but he is rooting very hard against the Niners because he doesn't want his NFC championship last year to be negated.
It's the most ridiculous fandom thing. Like, he is.
He's from Philly, right? Yeah. The Niners.
There you go. The Niners.
I love them. I mean, Indy Reeb was there, and I was tight, but Philly, more than any fan base, and I say this with full applaud, blinders on.
Yeah. I have college guys on my dorm like, do you not know that there's a team other than the Flyers and the NHL? Yeah.
It's in the 70s. No, my God.
Yeah. It's the the best though.
It is the best. It's so great.
Like

they are hyper-focused on their

teams and they don't really

tolerate you if you lose. Yeah.

I mean, Nick Seriotti went to a Super Bowl and they wanted him

fired this year. Yeah.

Yeah, very quickly. That was it.

Right, and here's

TSA line leaving Phoenix

last year. A couple Philly

fans, hey, great game. Yeah, you're standing

on line with perfect strangers for 45 minutes

so might as well, they know who I am. They're all

Thank you. PSA line leaving Phoenix last year.
A couple of Philly fans, hey, great game. Yeah, you're standing on line with Perfect Strangers for 45 minutes, so might as well.
They know who I am. They're all at the game, right? I said, your quarterback played great.
Just making conversations. Yeah, but that fumble.
That's it. That's Philly.
Yes, the fumble. It was big, but he played great.
Take a compliment. But it was like, hey, the fumble, I don't know.
It was like, have a good flight. We're going to get back to Boomer in a second.
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And now, here's more Chris Berman.

So this 42,

42 straight Super Bowls? Is your 42nd

Super Bowl? I started with the Niners

first one at Super Bowl 16.

Okay. Silverdome.

So that's 42. Yeah.
I missed one

at full leg cast once

upon a time. Yeah.
I missed the Packers

winning with our. So 41.
Yeah. Yeah, 41st Super Bowl.
I mean, that's incredible just in itself. I'm lucky to be in that position.
Yeah. I mean, ESPN, I mean, like we discussed, who knew? I mean, you guys started the show eight years ago.

Yeah, we have a dream or a vision or this,

and then we got some backing.

But, yeah, now, look, you have – you said we had to pick up basketball,

and I walked on the court,

and I thought I was in like an NBA court.

So, yeah, it –

I have to pinch myself now that you say that. Yeah.
I mean, I do think of it when I go. I still remember the first one like, oh my God, I'm at the Super Bowl.
You know, you're a kid. I mean, I'm really in my twenties.
And the people that you've met that, you know, the game that we all in this show loves and those that listen and watch, they love.

You get to go to that and really be down there and feel and touch it

and interview the players and the coaches

and make some observations that maybe are okay

or just maybe like, whoa, be like a fan.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's incredible because that's – and what you just described,

I think is why people are drawn to you and football

and how you tell the game because I think that,

Thank you. Yeah, it's incredible because that's and what you just described, I think, is why people are drawn to you and football and how you tell the game, because I think that that like boyhood wonder, if you lose it, that's the problem.
Like, I know myself and I think I'm speaking for PFT, like the fact that you're here right now, I want to pinch myself. And so like having that, though, be like, whoa, this is pretty, pretty damn cool that we get to do this for a living.
If lose that then you probably lose your fans well you're acting yeah yeah probably acting to continue not yeah one's acting if they're if your biggest calling card is a fan everyone's a fan who does sports bobby totally different than me complete respect but but you wouldn't say he likes it it but he's report but right if you're a fan like you guys obviously are and you're still doing your shows and you're kind of losing a little the fandom it's gonna seep through a little bit yeah those are watching carefully not that they're looking for it no it's true i i didn't go to sleep last night because wisconsin uh blew a 17 point lead at nebraska and i said i'm going to sleep at 10 o'clock and then at 11 30 i was like just kidding i'm not asleep i'm still mad i still got it i would actually say that i've gotten i've gotten to be a bigger fan since we started doing the show really because you pay attention more now it's like okay we watch every second of every game yeah and it's actually just making us i don't know i i the way that I feel. I do too.
I care more about it now. And you feel it's also like people ride with you.
People, you know, give you shit when your team loses. So it's like the stakes have gotten higher for us at times.
Yeah. That's true.
It used to suck to lose, but at least it's like, all right, I'll just go to work the next day and not have to deal with it. Now like i lose i have nebraska basketball doing memes in my face and i'm like well this hurts and everyone just talking that was why you had hay out there yeah right it's also like if you lose i know that there's a lot of people a lot of sickos that listen to the show that like to hear us when we're in pain and granted like that's that's what this is sometimes it's like okay you listen to this podcast sometimes hearing misery is more, than hearing joy.
If you're not experiencing that joy. And so now every time I have a chance to experience joy, it's like you get that me against the world mentality a little bit where you're like, okay, all right, let's see if we can do this.
And also I'm thinking out loud here, but the fact that now Dan Snyder is no longer the owner of the commanders means that I can actually like full on invest in the team so I think I I can definitely say that I'm way more of a fan now than I was eight years ago and it's kind of cool yeah because you dial yes because your job makes you dialed in a little bit more but you haven't lost the reason you dialed in in the first place right right no I'm look and to do it the other way look i'm um you're doing me a favor not that nobody knows who i i don't get on tv so the people know who i am i mean if you do that then again that'll that won't work after a while but you know you're bringing different age group who well they see me but the fact that you you give me an attaboy it's good for me, too. Thank you.
I would say that you and John Madden are probably the two biggest football influences of my life. You mentioned him earlier.
I assume that you got to hang out with him a fairly long time. Not hang, but we're friendly, of course.
Yeah, yeah. Not because ABC, it's not like I rode on the bus or anything like that.
But he made it the most. He's a guy that coached and won Super Bowls and coached against Noel and Shula.
And you think of the AFC in those days. And my God, just the AFC, let alone, okay, now you're in the Super Bowl against Bud Grant or whatever.
But to make it understandable to everybody, but to be a football coach, I mean, we're announcers. Okay, we're speaking.
We're not coming from looking at film at 11 p.m., looking for that one little thing and then trying to articulate it to people that aren't really football fans. Right.
That's how great John was. And he's just a basic guy.
Yeah. He never changed.
I was lucky to know him. I didn't hang out with him so much, not because I didn't want to.
Yeah. But, yeah.
I mean, listen, I know that people are probably like, you guys are all just jerking each other off right now. I wanted to go back to just a point about how, you know, having you on, you know, the younger audience.
But that to me is like a no brainer because you were our guy when we were growing up. And hopefully someday when we're, you know, 68 years old, there's a new show that's like, oh, we want these guys on these old guys on.
And, you know, we listen to you when you're growing up. So you're already you're already sowing those seeds.
No, but it's a new show that's like, oh, we want these guys on, these old guys on. And, you know, we listened to you when you were growing up.
You're already sowing those seeds. No, but it's the truth.
You know, it's like you were watching Countdown and watching, you know, it was just the best. Well, here's the thing on primetime and then we'll get off because you said we're doing this to each other.
Nobody wants to listen. No, there might be a couple.
Okay, yeah. to it.
Primetime, for the younger, the real younger, you only got three games on TV. Right.
I know that sounds Neanderthal. It's crazy.
And there's no yellow line. By the way, with the Eagles, I thought nine yards they should have put a green line.
Yeah, that's a good know the brotherly shove line because that's all they have to get to although and aside that summed up their season they didn't get it against the Bucs and they got tackled for a safety and there you go we're done but I didn't mean to. But the prime time.
So Seattle, 48. Arizona, 45.
In 2000. Even, you know, 2005.
We don't see anything except when they cut in at halftime. We saw the one bomb to whoever was playing at the time.
Well, here's on prime time so if you liked football not because it was me not because it was tommy i'd watch the show as long as it was well done highlight wise music when you don't need the music but it's fun and the fact that maybe we added made some football fans along the way but there were 11 games you never saw. Yeah.
So now it's hard for anybody to understand that.

And even, yeah, like 05-06, I remember I had LaDainian Tomlinson

on my fantasy team, won every single game, and I'd be like,

well, now I just want to watch and see all the –

I know he scored four touchdowns.

Let me watch Boom.

Show me the four touchdowns.

Right, because the Chargers were –

Just relive it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It'd be awesome.

Yeah.

It was fun.

Here's another little bit of research that I stumbled on for this game. The guy, my Mark Franklin was cut my swamis the last, well, I don't do that anymore, but he, and he still cuts my fast at three minutes where, you know, he's great, does a great job.
So we're walking out after we did the pro bowl, you know, it's on this week and and I did the great Pro Bowl plays of the year, but whatever. He goes, you know, we're talking about the election.
I'm picking a side, you know, real quick. This is, you know, midnight or 11 o'clock Friday, Sunday night.
He goes, so we're going to, you know, the Chiefs Niners was the Super Bowl before the last Biden-Trump. Yep, yep.
This is not a Democratic or Republican conversation at all. Yeah.
And Chiefs Niners is before the next one, presumed. Yeah.
I'm an American history major. Doesn't make me an expert, but, oh.
He goes, I wonder if there was anything else.

And off the top of my head, I said, well, the only one that I can think of,

let's go championship games because Super Bowl, forget it.

I knew right away, I said, FDR beat Adlai Stevenson.

Not FDR, excuse me, Eisenhower beat Adlai Stevenson twice.

Stevenson did not cover in either of those matches um but that's 52 and 56 so i the next morning i looked up in my white book i went oh in 1951 and 1955 not that this is like kind of minutiae but the la rams played the cleveland browns norm van brocklin against Otto Graham both times, or the Bob Waterfield started for the Rams. Both at the L.A.
Coliseum, 80,000 people, so it wasn't like, eh. Yeah.
They split. Now, I don't know that that tells us anything about the election, the Super Bowl, but 51 and 55, L.A.
Rams, Cleveland Browns. This is a bit of information that your show could use.

It doesn't predict anything, like the Punxsutawney Phil.

I don't know.

It took the time to look it up, and it was fun.

I like it.

Was there any other ones?

No. And when you say when you looked it up in the white book,

do you just have a book?

It was the old NFL book.

Not the internet.

You could do that just as fast. I know where to go in the white book.
I think have a book and i feel the old nfl book so not the internet uh you could do that just i know where to go on the white book i think it was even like i love it well i needed the 50 so i was in my basement i don't think i had i had the book from like five years ago i love it i love it no i know where to go it takes takes a minute yeah because it's actually it's got more you don't have to scroll yeah you got it right there page out you know it's kind of nice yeah i think will bond puts it the right way getting some ink under your fingernails sometimes it's nice got more, you don't have to scroll. Yeah, you got it right there.
It's kind of nice. Yeah, I think Wilbon puts it the right way.
Getting some ink under your fingernails. Sometimes it's nice to do that, not have to go on your phone or online to do it.
You are a historian of the game, obviously. You've seen a lot of football.
You've been around a lot of big games. I think we'd be remiss if we didn't ask you, is Taylor Swift good for football? Absolutely.
And i'll tell you why um because i'm a little oblivious to it not oblivious i get it i mean and should the network you're not asking me should they show her every time travis kelsey catches the ball not necessarily first of all i think i've never met her. I think she's legitimate.

I'm in my mid-30s.

I'm cheering on my guy, and I'm having fun at the game.

So if you just take it from that part, I think that's pretty – that's legitimate.

I do.

Maybe you guys don't think so.

I think so. I don't think she's there to be – I mean, she fills a stadium of 80,000,

so it's not, oh, I need to be seen again.

Right.

I think anyone that thinks that's wrong.

I don't know that.

Shots I mean, she fills the stadium of 80,000, so it's not, oh, I need to be seen again. I think anyone that thinks that's wrong.
I don't know that. So only this last week or two, my haircut, young lady at the bank, you know, so who's your team? You know, I'm making conversation with one lady there, the Steelers.
I know she likes the Steelers,'s a young thing 24 she goes i never watched football until this year but i found i really liked the game but now i'm watching because i want to see with taylor swift so so i'll boil it this way and you can go wherever you want with it yeah it was like i heard it twice in a day getting a haircut and in a bank and going, anything that makes somebody a pro football fan from nothing can't be all bad. Yeah.
That's fair to say. I mean, you may not agree.
What do you guys think? I mean, you've talked about it. Yeah, I think that's fair.
I think that we're getting more of a backlash to her, but's because the chiefs keep winning and she's if you're if you're a ravens fan and you're watching the chiefs and you're losing you're gonna find something about that broadcast that you're gonna direct all your anger at and you're gonna hate right if that's tony romo tony romo hates us if it's the refs the refs hate us if it's a one commercial you don't like be like i can't this commercial. We've got actually a guy who's a big Mets and Dolphins fan that works here, and he is an expert in that.
He'll be watching the Mets game, and then Buster Olney will pop up, and he'll be like, Buster Olney hates my team. Boom.
Now that's the enemy that I can turn against. So the Chiefs keep beating all these teams, and there's more and more fan bases that have to watch the Chiefs beat their team, then every time they score there's taylor swift so i think that's where more of the backlash is coming from but i mean we're guys we watch we watch football on tv and you have to find something to complain about right like there's always something that you have to it's not my team's fault it's this person's fault that it's happening yeah which i get i get it yeah i mean it's not fair to pin her like what she's doing it to put a kibosh on my team obviously i mean that's fault that it's happening.
Yeah. Which I get.
I get it. Yeah.
I mean, it's not fair to pin her like, well, she's doing it to put a kibosh on my team, obviously. I mean, that's, I get it.
But I think it's, you're right. If the Chiefs were eight and nine, well, you wouldn't be seeing her now anyway.
Yeah. So, and I assume, I have no idea that she's what, in Tokyo Saturday night? Yes, she's going to be flying all the way back.
Flying over, because remember, that's like 16 hours ahead. Yep, yep.
They did the math. I think she gets to land at like noon on Super Bowl Sunday in Vegas.
Yeah, and probably a plane you can sleep on. Yeah, probably.
I would say she's not going on Southwest. I don't think it's the Wright brothers.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then what's her next show? Like, Soul on Tuesday night? Like, I don't know. Yeah.
That'd be fascinating. Yeah.
Which reminds me of, not football, but my favorite times of flight like that.

The start of the century, you know, January 31st, 1999.

Elton John does a concert in Sydney, I believe.

70,000.

He flies to Honolulu, does another New Year's Eve concert in Aloha Stadium,

another 50,000.

Two shows the same night, but he flew to the two.

That's a good one.

That's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool.

There you go.

Yeah, I got a non-football question that just popped in my head.

Do you still write checks?

Oh, yeah.

I love that.

Internet, if I can avoid it, I avoid it.

I'm a 20th century guy.

And I'm a tourist.

You don't do it at the grocery store and stuff like that.

No, no, no, no.

Okay, all right.

That would hold up the line.

Yeah, right, right.

Be considerate of, you know, especially if you only have like eight items. Yeah like in that line i'll come on but you're ripping checks still every now and then oh yeah like pizza guy yeah you ever read check to the pizza guy no i no i don't do those i mean the red check to pay my bills yeah yeah not checks like here you go old-fashioned stamp i Put it out.
Hey, forever, you can make a good... Well, now they went up again New Year's Day.
What are they at now? I think if you bought the forevers, don't quote me, could they be 68 cents now? Oh, wow. That's way more than...
I mean, I probably had some... So you have the forever stamps? Well, that's what you buy.
Yeah, yeah. So if you buy 20 books at a time, well, I don't say 10 books at a time, they don't last that long.
But if you bought them going out of business sale right before New Year's Day, you save five cents a stamp or whatever. Try to do that on the stock market.
Yeah, yeah. I like it.
I'm happy. No, no, no.
I pay my bills that way. I don't go to any store with a checkbook.
But you could if you had to. No.
You should have a couple in your wallet. One of the many things.
Your wallet actually is looking a little slim. Well, you know, I realize you can't walk around it that way anymore.
I was a little shocked because, you know, you shouldn't shock anyone boom great tipper he tipped the uh

car service that brought him here and he pulled out his wallet and i was like damn your wallet looks like it went on a diet it's not it did go on a diet it needed to i mean there's things flying out of there that you know cards from like 25 years ago but that was a while i weeded that out a wallet. Right checks, thinner

wallet. I'm catching on.

It's only 2024.

We've only been a quarter of this century. I'll catch on soon.
I appreciate that about you. You know what you can do.
You know what you like to do. You know who you are, and you're going to stick with it.
And you're a Bills fan, amongst other things. And this year was painful for the Bills.
You've seen a lot of Bills seasons, a lot of Bills heartache. Where would you put the end of this one up against, you know, the late 80s, early 90s, all the stuff they've been through? Well, they have an unbelievably resilient fan base because they've been – well, there was a time they weren't very good.
But they, I mean, I heard from several of them texting right away like, well, we still got to believe. Now, it wasn't the Super Bowl, but it was wide right.
And I know Jim had to say it. On prime time, I even lowered my voice.
I went, I just can't even say this. Wide right.
And then they had asked me, you want us to show the Norwood? No, do not. No, we're not showing that.
Not right anyway. Yeah, because they came on so, I mean, another circuitous route, like Chiefs, 6-6, but then they don't lose a game.
Yeah. And they win the East.
They look really good. The good news is for them.
So where does it rank? I mean, Super Bowls are the Super Bowls, but I mean, did that rank? It's always the Chiefs, right? That 13 second to bring it to the modern, to the current era. Oh, them again.
So the Chiefs inadvertently to the Buffalo fan have become the Patriots. The one or two times that they could beat Tom Brady in there.
Fitzy beat him in 2011. There are people, like the campers are still in the parking lot on Tuesday, like people still drinking, okay? I love it.
So the Chiefs, not a division rival, but boy, they play, because now you're first place, so you play all the time and then often in the playoffs. The fact that it was the Chiefs, again, twisted the knife a little more than, oh, we were wide right, I'm making it it up to the Ravens, okay? But you got the Super Bowls and you got 13 seconds, but this falls right behind.
And it's, again, it can be another long winter up there. Yeah.
And I feel for them because as long as they have Josh Allen, they got a good shot. I know.
The window is not closing on the Bills. I mean, that's foolish to say.
Now, will they be able to keep who we think are a lot of their best players, Diggs or others? I don't know. But you guys know top some players or bottom ten players.
Your roster changes a fourth to a third. Yeah.
It just does. Yeah, the Bills are going to lose a lot of guys, but I think a lot of them are, you got some older guys that are leaving, they'll figure out a way.
You're right. If they have Josh, they're going to be in position to win big games.
Yes. By the way, Scott Norwood from, from.
Well, I forget. Go ahead.
James Madison. That's right.
I did. Yeah.
Scotty's a friend. I mean, you know, and I knew all those guys.
It's just, they'll get one eventually, you think. Although.
You hope. You got Mahomes.
I know, Burrow. Here's Jim Harbaugh.
I know. It's not that that makes them.
No, but it is. He's not playing quarterback, but that makes him better than Herbert.
If Josh Allen was in the NFC, he'd probably have been in a Super Bowl by now. I would think so.
Yeah. The Niners are.
Yeah. I feel he had one year.
Yeah. He won.
One year. If you think about it.
The Rams, obviously, that was a great year. But still, it is a lot of circumstance of who you're in the conference with.
Yeah, here's – yeah. I mean, the AFC, the best quarterbacks in football, well, aren't they all there? Yeah, they are.
I mean, Lamar, we can debate where you put him, but he's certainly capable of wrecking a game. Now, what the Chiefs and how they stopped him or how the Ravens didn't kind of stay the Ravens.
I do have one theory on that one. Again, they were only down 10 and then 7.
That's not – they weren't down all year. I know.
That doesn't mean, oh, we can't possibly come back from 7 points. Of course.
You have Lamar Jackson can run 50 yards. By the way, middle of the third quarter, do you know he was still the second leading receiver on the team? Yeah.
Second leading receiver. It's crazy.
But they hadn't called. I'm not on Monk and I'm not on anything.
I don't know. They hadn't been in that position even 10 and 7 in the middle of the third quarter,

which is not panic.

Right.

It's not like it.

So they didn't.

You can't do that and walk through.

I think they led with four minutes to go or didn't trail.

Is that true?

Yeah, no, they lost to the Colts in overtime.

They lost that game against the Browns where they're up 14,

I believe, in the fourth quarter.

And they lost that game to the Steelers where they dropped every pass and they were up uh in the second half so yeah you're right that game pressure matters and it actually goes back to the Niners where they had kind of had that as their bugaboo like hey they can they can kill you they can step on your throat but can they come back from behind and then they've done it twice in the playoffs let you guys one question. I'll get your opinion on it, as I'm not sure it's fair to even.
The Niners were rolling. I know they lost the three, but then they rolled.
They crushed a lot of teams, starting with Jacksonville, et cetera. When the Ravens went out there again on Christmas, the same as the Chiefs day, which is kind of interesting, I don't think.
That's not to say they can't win the Super Bowl. They haven't looked the same.
I know they crushed Washington after that. It's Washington.
Okay. I mean, they had to have it.
It was on the road. I get it.
They haven't looked like that team we saw from the middle of November to not making that as a point.

So therefore, they're not going to.

Do you agree?

Not bad, but there's something not quite.

I agree, but it might actually work in their benefit because it might be a situation when

they got a little humbled and they know that like, hey, we can get beat by anyone anytime.

So, you know, the Packers game, the Lions game.

Now, if you tell me that they're down 17 to Mahomes in the Super Bowl I don't think they're coming back that's a little different but they might have a little bit more of a hey we can come back from these we don't have to be you know just killing a team right away maybe I don't know that's no that's why they play the game it's the best I think it's been good for Kyle it's been good for Kyle to see that he can do that because he had the reputation of not being able to play from behind. And now it's the narrative, I think, after winning two in a row in the playoffs that way.
I feel like that's a little – I don't know if it's pressure off his back, but he has confidence to know that they could possibly come back. Right.
And the players have lived it too. Correct.
Because twice now. If you're steamrolling everybody, if we're talking about the Niners that we saw earlier this year where it's the second quarter and the other team is just physically giving up, if you're doing that and then you get behind in the Super Bowl, you're like, well, what the hell is going on?

How do we do this?

This is not supposed to be happening to us.

But now it's like, okay, we've been there.

We can do it.

I actually agree with Big Cat.

I think it might be a good thing because they still have all the talent that they had before.

It's just, okay, they're not stopping everybody.

That's not the right thing. But now it's like, okay, we've been there.
We can do it. Actually, I agree with Big Cat.
I think it might be a good thing because they still have all the talent that they had before.

It's just, okay, they're not stopping everybody.

That's not the worst thing sometimes.

Yeah, you're right.

It's going to be a tight game.

Yeah.

All right, tough question.

You mentioned 68.

You've been doing this for a very long time.

When your time does pass, you say, you know, I'm retiring officially.

What do you want the fans to remember Chris Berman for? Very tough question. I'll spell my name correctly.
We'll start with that. That I, meaning the fan, I enjoyed getting my football or my sports from him and his station.
Not so much as me. that, I mean, no no one's gonna really remember the first 10 years by that time you know um so when we were everyone's underdog i mean that was real that was really cool being an underdog with these guys and i like al davis said i love you because you're the underdog you know he told me that typical al i mean it's like like 82 yeah the underdog like that like oh i never that's pretty cool i'd like i'd like them to say i really enjoyed watching football or baseball or again i enjoyed i felt i was with a friend maybe watching a game or a show or primetime or name any other with him and his station.
I felt comfortable doing it. Not so much, oh, he educated me of this.
I mean, you know, people have forgotten more football than I'll ever know. I've seen a lot, but don't ask me what I had for breakfast.
Although Donnie cooked me a great lunch. Yes, he did.
So I think it's that simple. Did he come across as a good guy? I'd like to think so.
But for the viewer, it's more important. Did we do what we were supposed to do? Did we do it, I don't want to say pure, but pretty purely, not a word so that's that's it's i i think that encompasses it because any any deeper than that i don't i don't know that anybody would take the time to to to get deeper than that well i i pretty deep yeah i mean i think it's it's really as simple as did he make sports fun and And the answer is yes.
And sports are supposed to be fun.

And we've talked about this off air too.

Like sports are supposed to be fun.

That's what we try to always do here.

That's what you always did.

And it's like that's what we tune in for.

We want to have fun.

And it's an escape from everyone's going through shit in their life.

We sit down on Sunday.

We watch football.

We kind of get an escape from it.

We enjoy it. And did they make it fun? And you did.
Well, I hope so. I mean, that would be, that's how I'd like to be remembered, and how I'd like our shows to be, our station to be remembered.
I mean, people may have an opinion of where we are and where we were, and I'm not getting there. It just, yeah, I feel comfortable watching it.
It made it fun. I probably should have come out with that.
I had a guy that does some serious surgery. This is like 15 years ago.
Tell me, you know, what you do is important on Sundays. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was a great. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was a great swamp sound. Not quite whoop, but whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bob, I've known him. Our up together with him.
Bob, I mean, he, liver transplant. I mean, that kind of stuff.
Oh, what you do is really important. And he stopped me.
He goes, yeah, okay, it is. But on Sunday, maybe I can put my head somewhere else, and I'm not the only one, and get out of that for even if it's six hours a week and maybe it makes me do a better job on Monday for someone who needs it I want okay now I'll allow that answer yeah no I mean you're right because I always feel when people give when people say that to us I have the same reaction where I'm like listen we're we're idiots we're talking about sports we're not doing anything.
But it means something to people. And you have to realize that and realize that it is important because people need that escape.
It's a great compliment to get. It always makes me feel so great when people say that.
I'm going through a tough time. You guys talking about sports has helped me a little bit.
And that's the best feeling in the world when I get those. And you guys get, like, each one of these gets maybe a million.
I mean, at some point it lives up there for perpetuity, right? Kind of like the stuff in my wallet, right? Yeah. I try not to think about a million people.
Well, I read that. That'll freak you out, yeah.
Like a million people. Yeah.
Yeah. Isn't it fun, like, being in one because people go, do you ever get nervous going on TV? I went, well, I'm looking in a, if it's a studio show, I'm looking in a lens.
I'm looking at not a particular person, but a friend of mine, nobody in particular. Talk with them or to them, not at them.
But we can't think of a million. If I sat and thought there are a million people in that lens i probably would have cracked up long ago right yeah hank and i did a little bit of stand-up on wednesday of this week and i think you know we're like 800 people how many people are there yeah it's like yeah 600 live audience live audience and that to me was way more difficult than than this this it's like i'm hanging out with my friends.
We're talking ball. Yeah, there happens to be a microphone here.
I am aware that people listen to it and will say things about that show later on. But seeing the people face to face, it's a different ballgame.
So I can't think about a million people listening to this show. Stand-up comedy? That's the toughest.
Hank did a great job. He's so funny.
I know, but I wonder, and I played... You ask a comedian...
Supposing the audience is a rough one, or not rough necessarily, but your first two or three jokes don't go anywhere. Yeah.
And you already hear shuffling of the feet. Now what? Yeah.
You fast forward to the guarantee, but then you got nothing at the end? Yeah. I mean, there's a few that you know are going to work, but you're working toward it.
And I don't know that anyone had, I forget the exact answer. Yeah, you got to trust yourself in this and that, but to size up the room, what do you think they want to hear? I don't know.
So what I'm saying is that's ultimate respect when you're, or live theater. Yeah.
Now, again, that's not a stand-up comedy, but, oh God, I forgot my line. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I total respect for that. Yeah.
Going back to what we were talking about earlier about how, like, the small things in the routine matters to people sometimes. I don't know, are you a Warren Zevon fan? I think you are.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So he had a great line. I think this is when he had mesothelioma and he was on David Letterman show.
And he said the thing that has come into perspective for him at this point is enjoy every sandwich. Like the small stuff, like really dive in and let yourself enjoy the small parts of your routine in life.
And that's what's going to be important to you. And whatever that is, like that's great.
So I think about that sometimes. If the mundane tasks every day are like, okay, I'm just going through the motions about something.
No, like enjoy every single small part. Enjoy every sandwich.
So I think about that all the time. Very good.
No, he werewolves of london i mean saying no more matt blunden was werewolves of blunden right um all right so boom this has been incredible my last question rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use promo code take 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos hoodies joggersodies, joggers, shorts. Best golf stuff.
Roback.com.

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20% off. Give us the Super Bowl score and make it a Schwami.
No, no. Okay.
I'm a weird one. Because this is – I'm coming in today because it's still as we tape it.
It's like the week where, okay, I'm not operating on anybody this week. But I said I better come up with a score here.
So, I think the Chiefs repeat. Okay.
23-20. Okay.
That's not a swammy. Let's fix that a little.
Oh, you want a humorous? No, I got 25-22. Oh, no, no.
Okay. Oh, okay.
All right. But let me give you a reason.
I did pick a couple of three to two games. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

And I did have a 75-72 score.

I mean, I remember the-

So 23-20 is what you'll probably read if I ever-

You know, I have to write something for ESPN, you know, what happened.

Yep.

The first time I ever realized what gambling was when I saw that little arrow pointed,

I was like, why is that the team lost?

Yeah.

Why do they have the arrow?

And I was like, oh, okay. Educating our educating our youth corrupting our youth cover the spread okay well 25 22 but the only reason i'm not an overrunner player at all yeah i never have been although i was cognizant but if i was a score right and that would be what is it like 47 yeah 47 and a half you can't do 25 22 although you can't i never worried about that that meant i had no opinion on that which sometimes you don't have an opinion all right so so like you want someone to win the super bowl square with some bizarre numbers yes yes i get it okay so 22 18 18 Oh, I like that.

How do you get to 18?

I mean, you could kick a lot of field goals.

You could get to 18 if you...

Two-point conversions and safety?

If you go touchdown.

Yeah, there's 15 and three.

I could see a touchdown field goal, and then that team's behind,

and they're behind by 14 points.

They score a touchdown.

They go for two.

They get it.

18.

Then they never get the ball back. Yeah.
Right. I like it.
22-18. That's better.
I mean, at 23-20, it's the same ballpark. Yeah.
22-18. I have them winning.
Although my Niner roots and my Niner fans will go, why? But it's Holmes, and I'd like to see a repeat champ, and I just hope people recognize what they're watching. This is really pretty.
These are the Patriots more like. I don't want to say more like about sound stupid, but to a lot of the folks.
Maybe that's part of the Taylor Swift question, right? Oh, I don't like the Chiefs. They're beating my team.
But more likable is not fair to say because I love those teams. Yeah.
I know them all. But if you have a problem watching him play quarterback, you have a problem watching football.
That's true. By the way, you don't have to root for him.
Yeah. But don't – Appreciate greatness.
No, stop it. So now you watch the Niners run their offense like they can.
That's pretty cool, too. So two classic franchises with Chiefs recently and the Niners all time.
22-18, you got me on my bad. I like that.
I love it. It was a military.
Oh, by by the way I should go back to the original because there's a reason and you'll like this why I called you Le Grand Chat and you were Le Raconteur because that's when Andres Galarraga played in Montreal he was the big cat and we're looking at one and we're looking at the commenter well Le Grand Chat when he played for the Expos that'sos, that's what they call him. He did a home run, oh, Le Chocuit, Le Grand Chat, you know? And Le Ruc on tour is a storyteller.
And the reason I bring up the French, because you guys are golf fans, we had a guy from France win last week at San Diego. Yep.
And for football, Les Alouettes won the Grey Cup. Oh, no.
Big upset. Big, big upset of the Les Bommers Bleus.
They beat Winnipeg. So it's fitting this year to do a little merci to you guys for having me in here.
Quite a digs you got. Yeah, well thank you.
It's our favorite tradition. Can you end us with a with a whoop yes but i want to know who does the better whoop when you guys are back and forth it depends on what our voices are doing yeah sometimes one of us is hoarse the other isn't you can tell we've been working on the raiders though we've been working on it You go way deep.

You can't do that.

Well, you guys accent it. It would be the fastest three and a half minutes if I really did that every time.
Yeah. But the whoop.
All right. I want to hear you guys do it back and forth, then I'll give you a couple.
All right. We got it.
Yeah. yeah.
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. People will tweet us and be like, our dogs go crazy every time.
Well, then here they come running, right? Yeah. Whoop.
Hey, look, kudos to Curly on the three stooges. Yeah.
That's where it came from. That's a good one.
All right, Schwab, thank you so much. We love having you on.
Happy Super Bowl, everybody. Happy Super Bowl.
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That's fair.

I saw memes today at the content house.

He was sitting at the bar, and he had his laptop open.

And he was putting in his first bit of prep for the show tonight.

And I think your strategy was to just hope that the world ended before today happened.

Am I far off?

Yeah. Maybe the plane crashes on the way here.
A couple different scenarios. But I was doomed from the get-go.
I was supposed to say presented by Quest and Coors Light. Didn't say that.
I had five minutes of jokes prep. That didn't work out.
I think Max said that you were planning on doing Tequila, the song, only when you hit a speed bump. As like a fail safe.
And it was one joke, and it was like, hit the music. You did it so fast.
Hit it right now, and it was all downhill. I'm proud of you, though.
As bad as it was, I'm proud of you. Well, you made it look pretty easy.

No, yeah.

Hank's was great.

It's hard to get up there and do that.

I'll give you that.

I would have liked to see more than six hours of prep.

Yes, but even if I prepped a year, you can't teach public speaking.

There were some times, and you read some transcripts of the interviews that we've done.

Actually, the first thing you did, you said, here's an unaired part of my take interview. Actually, it just aired previously.
And you read the transcript of the text messages from Diana Rossini regarding Max on a plane. And everyone was like, wait, I just heard this today.
I turned to PFT. I go, what the fuck is he doing? Yeah, that was relevant.
I thought it would be funny.

I saw one person laughing.

Okay.

Two sodas.

Two sodas.

I mean, two sodas killed.

Two sodas always kills.

The man had two sodas.

I knew it was bad.

My dad texted me after.

He just said, you okay?

I was like, I'm fine.

The thing about memes is he just denied that tonight was ever going to happen. And then he stepped up on stage and he was like, oh, fuck.
And then he left the stage. He's like, well, thank God that's over.
He just turned the page on it. Yeah, you actually are in great spirits right now.
No, this is a good story. Just being like, remember when you fucking bombed? And then we moved on.
I told Big Cat during your set, I was like, i think we should make memes do this again 15 minutes at a comedy club memes i'm proud of you uh it was bad but i'm proud of you it's an understatement if you want to go watch it yeah it was bad and we love you and you also in a weird way you set up hank very well because it was like is this going to be the worst thing that anyone has ever purchased and hank was good hank saved the day yeah hank you were great i thought you were i was people were like saying like oh the barstool employees are trying to gas hang up like i was laughing yeah the whole thing yeah it was an interesting strategy right off the bat to be like who here is from vegas and then people in the crowd cheer and you're like fuck you and then like five seconds later you're like why aren't you laughing yeah why is this crowd so dead but the the intro was incredible that was like a 10 minute video the you there was a shout out counter going on i think you had like 15 shout outs in the first five minutes give it up you i mean you were like the holding the breath the cores light giving out cores light to everyone like you were a master of of running the clock yeah i think people i mean if you listen to this podcast you've heard me talk for the last probably three or four weeks about how nervous i was for the show and like i realized i was fucked and i knew that i couldn't do standup for the whole time. So I was like, I was spending my time thinking of how to kill time.
So the intro is the easy one. It's like, all right, I can make a cool video.
Corey, shout out to Corey. He's a great like video director.
I was like, all right, we'll make a cool video to start it. If you watch like real standups, like Dave Chappelle, like they always do like cool, cool intros.
Soros so i was like all right we can do a cool video to start it that's four minutes off the bat give me shelter as a song choice that's just such a hack it's yeah you put that under anything it's like i've always said when i went to film school like i went to film school being like if i ever make a movie i'm gonna start it with give me shelter and that's that's that's the that's the song that's the song and the best part about it was you were doing stall tactics in your stall tactic movie. Where you ran back into your hotel room just to pick up what? Your AirPods? My passport, yeah.
I loved it. You were just stalling inside the stall.
But I spent... Because I knew it was 60 minutes was a long time.
So I was like, I can't do 60 minutes. I was like, I got to do, in my head, I was like, I got to do 30 minutes that I can talk about.
And then try and think of 30 minutes of killing time. So the give it up for was another big one.
I was like, let me just try and kill like 20 minutes with give it up. That was my, when it started in January, I was like, I got to think of 20 minutes of give it up for.
Yeah. Like, let's just give it up for, let's give it up for up for let's give it up for let's give it up for uh i'm so happy it's over that's that's really i you legitimately like there was yeah there was a couple moments where it was like the crowd wasn't giving you much but you also finished so strong like your last story was great your uh when when cory made you do put push-ups and you were you know throwing out quest bags like it was funny i thought it was fucking great walk me through where you were mentally like what your emotions were like from the time you stepped on stage your relationship with the audience and how you felt about how it was going so last week pft obviously you you were there we did a show at Laugh Factory and before the show Nick Tarani like helped

I was nervous you guys i talked about it on the podcast over and over and over again where i was like i'm i'm shitting myself over this show i talked about it like three different times and i saw nick in the office one day i was like i he's like how what's up i was like i'm i'm shitting myself i have do this fucking 60 minute show. He's like, all right, let's meet before we'll go over it.
I went over my material and he helped me. He gave me some suggestions.
He was like, what if you said this? What if you said that? Like basically punched up my material before the show last week. And then when I did the show last week, I had what I thought was 15 minutes prepared.

I did 20 minutes and I had more left in the tank.

So after that, I didn't want to, I didn't want to jinx it.

Cause you guys were like, you did really good.

You really good.

I didn't want to jinx it, but I knew after that show last week, I was like, all right,

I'm going to be fine.

Like I'm going to be good.

I did 20 minutes.

The crowd liked it.

It was a home crowd.

So it was like obviously PMT fans.

So that helped the crowd tonight was not PMT fans.

Like they were not really laughing.

Like they were, they were, they were a little bit dead i think they were kind of expecting you to bomb so badly that it was like gonna be cringeworthy and you you were in that i feel like your whole set like the beginning of your set was in that like gray zone where it's like there was some things landing something's not then you picked up steam, and I think they came alive towards the end. Yeah, but I had felt the laugh factory crowd, so I was like, I'm ready for some laughs.
When they weren't giving it to me, I was just kind of going at them. I was defensive, which you guys know is how I usually am.
I was lashing out, so that was my normal reaction was just lashing out at the crowd. But I had, I had material ready.
So I was, I was prepared. I felt good.
I felt bad. I will say this.
I knew his max or memes. And like the last, I knew I was going to be the last person.
And I knew there was a week left where it was max or memes. And I was like, it's gotta be memes.
Like it's gotta be memes. Like, cause it because it was max i felt like he would have he would have at least put on a performance and like been good yeah so when it was memes i was a little bit relieved i was like but then i felt bad once he went on because i was like this sucks like this is a miserable is a miserable punishment this is the worst punishment we've ever done yeah yeah the the other thing that came out of this is I had no idea the Larry the Goldfish story.
So Hank told the story.

Hank has... done yeah yeah the the other thing that came out of this is i had no idea the larry the goldfish story so hank told the story hank has a tattoo of larry the goldfish it was from the beginning i think we all agree a terrible tattoo but i always just thought it was a terrible tattoo because it was a bad tattoo you told the story that when the tattoo artist came to the office and you had him tattoo larry the goldfish on your leg you got the actual dead larry the goldfish out of the red solo cup r.i.p kobe teeth like you said uh during the show uh and he drew the dead goldfish on your on your body and that's why it looks so bad i had no idea because if you guys had known you would have all roasted it forever yeah i mean i just always thought it was a tattoo of a dead goldfish's body i didn't know it was a tattoo of a dead goldfish's dead body right right and not just gotten a goldfish but you were like oh you want to see what larry looked like here's his dead corpse that's been frozen in a cup for three months well he asked that he asked for a reference picture yeah like, whoa, I can get a reference picture.
He's in the freezer. So let me go take a picture.
And it wasn't until the tattoo was done where I was like, and this is where I was like, it was too late. He had already done the full dead tattoo on my body where I was like, oh my God, this is a dead goldfish.
Yeah. And you guys were like.
And you guys are like, oh, you get tuned gold. Yeah.
You guys, I could have just, I could have just shown a picture of a goldfish. That's all I needed.
It was, it was a fucking goldfish. It has been, I could have just Googled goldfish and it wouldn't have mattered.
And that's why I never told you guys. Cause I knew I would have never heard the end of it.
No, I was like, this is on my body. Yeah.
So for years, literally years, this was 2017.

And in the back of my head for legitimately 2018, 19, 20, 21, 22, I was like, I got to

get this fucking thing removed.

Like I hate, like I have a dead goldfish on my leg.

Like I got to get it removed.

And I finally have gone through the process of getting removed.

Unfortunately, it takes like 25 appointments to get it removed. So it's like half removed but i mean also yeah by this summer it will be gone and you crushed because you were just like you wouldn't get jfk's blown out brains on your fate on your tattooed on your body that's what i did yeah it's like everyone has dead that's that's everyone has dead people tattooed on them they don't have the dead version of those people.
Hank, I was pleasantly surprised. I thought you were good.
I asked for the opinion of maybe the harshest critic in the world on this set. Frank the Tank, who was in attendance tonight.
Piece of shit. Frank the Tank started playing crickets during memes.
Yeah, he's piece of shit.. I told him to stop.
He's a piece of shit. Same.
I was like, stop doing the crickets sound. You can't.
You can't. You can't do that.
Frank needs to get up on stage. Actually, he'd probably kill it.
Yeah, no, he'd crush. Frank would be amazing.
Are you kidding me? So I asked him after the show. I said, on the raw dogging scale, single, double, triple, home run, strikeout.
He gave you a single. Oh.
That That's good What do you give memes? Struck out looking like Vogelbach Is what he said Yeah, the crickets was harsh And then he started biting his shirt Memes did get Dave to leave Yeah Dave Portnoy left the show So memes, you've done a great job the last few years of Staying off Dave's radar Now you are firmly on Dave's radar And pay per views Doesn't matter When Dave showed up He was like I can't believe he's here I was like who cares I crush in the preset But the Dave thing thing showing up was like That was like he was

I was like

I wanted Dave to be there

I didn't care that Dave was there

I saw him I was like

I'm fucked

Well people can still buy it

You can buy it till what

Super Bowl Sunday?

February 11th

I think it was

Like I know that it was

Not you know

Dave Chappelle or Louis CK

I thought it was very funny

Like it was a good night

It was a great punishment

I think maybe next year

For our punishment we do uh loser has to get like a 90 minute massage spa day something like that whatever we do has to be whatever we do has to be i i have i've spent a month thinking about this i think maybe we send them to bali whatever we do has to be top to bottom it has to be the whole podcast podcast. It can't be split into tiers.
Because that was bullshit where it was like me, Big Cat, and PFT in one tier, which is not a fair tiering for myself. We're just picking games.
Think if memes had to do six. If I had to do an hour? Oh, my God.
No, I'm saying. That's exactly why we did that.
We would never do that. We have to do something that's equal across the board.
Because you keep saying we don't have to do punishments, and I had to remind you that I have to eat six pancakes. I have to eat 24.
I got to eat 12. So it would have been PFT and Hank.
PFT got second place if we did the top to bottom. I was second worst? No, you were second place.
Because we always do second and last. But we never would have done.
Yeah. We never would have put Jake, Max, and and memes.
Yeah, yeah. No, you're right.
You're right. I think that the winner next year should get a golf vacation.
I think that would be nice. Listen, I know that it sucked for you guys.
I think it was a very funny punishment and a storyline throughout the football season. We'll come up with something else.
Yeah, and Hank, you were a good storyteller tonight. Thank you.
The storytelling was good, and you told a lot of interesting things I think people hadn't heard about. When I saw the picture of Rusillo pop up, I knew exactly where that was going.
You were standing on business. Yeah.
Walked up the airport. Walked up the elevator in PFT.
Tried to kill me. The story goes that Bubba and Hank worked in concert together behind the scenes to do a Photoshop of a green screen shot that we did through solo where they made me look like three inches shorter.
And that's the problem I had. If you had made me like five inches shorter, six, I'd be fine.
That'd be funny. But since it was three inches, that actually made me mad at the time.
Very mad. People think I'm 5'5 now.
The guitar thing also, I obviously wasn't playing guitar. It was probably very obvious on the pay-per-view that i was fake playing guitar but that i enjoyed learning guitar with pft but actually playing at the speed you need to play at to play a full song is very hard i told you it's it's not an easy song for somebody that doesn't know music but in my head i was like all like, all right, I got a full month.
I'm going to play the song, bought the guitar, learned simple strings, and then I was like, oh. And Hank does get into the full story behind Tiffany, like some behind-the-scenes stuff that he has not shared on the podcast.
Yeah. Yeah, it was...
I truly feel like I have a new lease on life. I'm so happy it's over.
I have never had anxiety like I've had the last month. So is it Bender time? We were talking.
The punishment actually turned out to be kind of a punishment on me. And yeah, no, you had to deal with.
Yeah. You guys, there was, it was probably two weeks ago where like, I think it was a Sunday.
I think it was, it was ASC championship or divisional round where like we were on the same page where I was miserable. You guys knew I was miserable.
But you weren't going to ask me why I was miserable because you knew why I was miserable. So we just didn't.
Yeah, we had a dance going. Yeah, we just didn't address it.
We were on the same page where I was like, this fucking sucks. I hate everything.
So, yeah, now is it Bender time? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. And tune in.
if you want to buy the pay-per-views uh you can get the origin story of pardon my take which we won't tell on the podcast yeah it was very funny i didn't know it first yeah that probably made you feel like you needed to call the cops no not i mean yeah yeah yeah it's just statue j Jake was Googling statue of limitations.

It's the story of me being with you guys.

Even that much like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We still have to do that to you.

We should.

Memes.

Don't put you down on yourself.

I mean,

it's over.

Don't.

Yeah.

All right.

Good.

Because like as bad as you think it was,

it was way worse.

I saw some people laughing.

Are you going to watch the back memes?

No.

That should be the punishment.

Yeah, we won't make you do stand-up again,

but you should have to sit down and watch the whole time.

No, just next year's football punishment is having to watch memes

and set over and over.

You can still buy it at $4.99.

Yeah.

All right, well, we're kicking to ourselves in studio

with the schwamm doing some lottery balls okay that is our show great interview with the schwamm thank you as always uh and we're gonna do numbers so take a guess well let's see. 18.

18.

Okay, okay.

I'll go 71 again.

I'll go 8 again.

40 for Hank.

21 for Shane.

18 for Jake.

Memes.

No, 3.

Oh, yeah, 18.

You can't do 18.

I can't do 18.

I'm going to take 25.

25.

3.

3 for memes.

Here we go. Oh, no.
22. Oh, no.
Boom. My God.
Boom. That's a come on.
You're one off. Come on.
That's incredible. If you listen to the show on Monday, you know why we're freaking out.

Unbelievable.

Should have stuck with 22.

Stuck with 22. That's like Tony lining up offside.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

By the way, that sounds like the crowd noise they pump in, like,

when you're going to a Thursday practice of an NFL team, and they're going to go on the road. Yeah.
That sounds like a water ball. Yeah, if it's going to rain, we dip all the balls in water too.
Get ready for it. Love you guys.
Talking away. I'm the one.
I'm to say I'd say it anyway. Today's another day to find you.
Talking away don't know what I'm going to say I say it anyway Today's another day to find you Shining away I'll be coming for your love of grief I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm lover. Take on me, take me on.
I'll be gone. I'll be gone.

I'll be gone.

I'll be gone.

I'll be gone.

I'll be less to say.

I'm all the same.

But I'll be stolen away.

Though they learn that life is okay.

Say I'm to me.

It's no better to be safe than sorry. To be safe than sorry.
To be safe. Take me.
Take me. I'll be gone

In a day of change