NFL Week 16, Lions Clinch The NFC North, Dolphins/Cowboys Narrative Bowl, Ravens Demolish Niners Plus A Call To Mike Florist

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take. It is football with PFT and myself.
Just the two of us. Tight show.
We do have Max producing. Shout out Max for producing on Christmas Day.

Speaker 1 He will maybe chime in for the Eagles. It's a tight show, though.
We're going to talk about football. We have 15 games to get to.

Speaker 1 I feel like all I've been doing for the last three days is eating, putting presents together, and watching football, just various points of football games.

Speaker 1 So we're going to talk about every game, the Lions clinching the first NFC North title in history,

Speaker 1 in their franchise history, first home game since 1993. We have the Cowboys, Dolphins, the Narrative Bowl, the Fraud Bowl.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk Ravens, Niners at the end because we're taping it in the middle of the third quarter right now. So we got a lot of football.
Are the Chiefs done? The Chiefs might be done.

Speaker 1 Is Travis Travis Kelsey? Has he lost all of his skills?

Speaker 1 A lot of football to get to.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all of the songs. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick I Venue

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Track.

Speaker 4 It's part of my take isn't about Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Tuesday, December 26th,

Speaker 1 week

Speaker 1 16.

Speaker 1 Let's peak. The last to wish you a Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 I got my good friend Stella in the room, so I can't

Speaker 1 too loud, otherwise, she'll wake up.

Speaker 1 We start on Saturday out in Los Angeles, where Smith, the new Chargers head coach, showed the team a gif of Tim Robinson in a hot dog suit as a locker room is still trying to find the guy who got Brandon Staley fired.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen Rickman said if the Bills' playoff hopes are gonna die, they'll have to die hard, making plays every time he was snaped the football, passing for a touchdown, and Slytherin for two more.

Speaker 1 The game was tight late, but Ryan Shakira, Shakira, hips did lie as he turned out to be down by contact, helping the Bills bleed the clock and survive being electrocuted by the dead batteries.

Speaker 1 Bills 24, Chargers 22.

Speaker 1 On Christmas Eve Eve, we go to Pittsburgh where Mason Rudolph the Red Nosed Ranger led the slaying on the Bengals with the help of a giant sack by TJ Watt.

Speaker 1 George Michaels Pickens whammed the secondary early and said, you're in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 1 Kate Brownings fudged everything up while his counterpart Mason was more accurate than the Cincinnati Zookeeper. Here we go.
Stillers.

Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 1 Pittsburgh's probably not to fire their coach. Here we go.
Pittsburgh 34. Cincy 11.

Speaker 1 Down to Houston where Amari started off the podcast saying, What's up, Daddy Gang?

Speaker 1 It's me, Father Cooper, here to Gluckluck the life out of the Texans' playoff hopes as he and Joe Flacco with an F hooked up for 265 yards and two touchdowns.

Speaker 1 Case Key Bump couldn't snort life into the Texans' offense as

Speaker 1 Davis Millsy Bobby Brown had to come in and command the 11 on offense.

Speaker 1 Even without Dustin Anthony Hopkins kicking for the better part of the game, the Browns were able to take a shortcut to happiness and all but clinch a playoff work. Browns 36, Texans 22.

Speaker 1 Down to Atlanta where Arthur Smith was going to get fired, but then he got high.

Speaker 4 The offense was looking real tired, but then he got high.

Speaker 1 They're probably going to still miss the playoffs, but at least they'll try. Why, man, why man? Because he got high, because he got high, because he got high, Nikki.

Speaker 4 The Falcons might have found a spark for their offense, but it's too rid or too late for the Dirty Birds as Bijan slob on by Robinson tied the Colts up like a ponytail on Shane stiking a blowjob day.

Speaker 1 Buckingham Palace Gardner Minshew is stoic after not doing his job and watching a very bad, violent end if you're in Indiana. Falcons 29, Colts 10.

Speaker 1 We head to the windy city where Justin Trudeau Fields bounced back after a terrible brown facing, answering critics that ask, can he play quarterback with a, can I? Duh.

Speaker 1 Khalil looked like he made the Cardinals defense smoke some herb

Speaker 1 before the game, reminding everyone that tackling while high is a DUI as he went for over 100. Cole, how I commit your mother, Masmito, along for 107 yards, and the Bears comfortably won the game.

Speaker 1 Their last play being a QB Neil Patrick Harris. Bears 27, Cardinals 16.

Speaker 1 We go over to Minnesota where the Detroit Lions were officially looking to escape the ash label thanks to Amon Ra Taint Brown who found himself around balls all day long.

Speaker 1 On defense, I feed you should leave Meliuvapu, had an interception as fellow sketch comedian Nick Mullen is trying to find out who did this.

Speaker 1 Dan Campbell dragged Minnesota out to sea until it was exhausted, then lit their boat on fire, giving them a Viking funeral.

Speaker 1 Jameer Aqua Gibbs put the Vikings into virtual insanity, and they'll be dancing on the ceiling in Detroit, where they have won the division for the first time since Hank Lockwood was one year old, crying and whining and pooping himself and sucking on boobies, much like he still is to this very day.

Speaker 1 Lions 30, Vikings 24.

Speaker 1 We head over to Philadelphia with our correspondent, Maxwell Delente. Hey!

Speaker 1 We head over to Philadelphia where the Giants finally sent Tommy DeVito sleeping with the Southern Fishes.

Speaker 6 Shaq O'Neal Leonard had the Eagles fan saying, I owe you an apology.

Speaker 1 I wasn't familiar with your game.

Speaker 6 As he finally had his first good game with the Eagles. Boston Scott Strap got absolutely leveled by his own teammate leaving his arms wide open

Speaker 6 resulting in the most embarrassing turnover since the Buck.

Speaker 6 However, DeAndre Taylor Swift was able to find flank space late and burn enough plot for the Eagles to win ugly.

Speaker 8 Eagles 33, Giants 25.

Speaker 1 We finish in Nazareth on the holiest of holidays with Schwam.

Speaker 1 Schwam

Speaker 1 We go to Bethlehem where what's that up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Speaker 1 No, it's the original one-star recruit, Jesus Christ, getting the most unlikely birth since we wrote the bills off a month ago. His mom was a virgin, that's why we say Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 Despite offers from smaller walk-on plants, Jesus chose Earth for the opportunity to start right ahead, going from walk-on to walk-on water in record time for this coach's son.

Speaker 1 And now, 2,000 years later,

Speaker 1 if you watch the sky on Christmas, you'll see my good friend Sexy Red Santa Claus saying, catch me on my sled riding dirty, eating milk and cookies weighing 330.

Speaker 1 Other holidays irrelevant like Brock Purdy. And oh no, what's that stealing all the presents?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's a Grinch. Whoop, whoop.
No worries.

Speaker 4 He saw the Travis Kelsey Pfizer commercial and his heart grew three sizes that day, according to my dear close personal friend, Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 1 Merry Christmas. All right, that was week 15, fastest two minutes.

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Speaker 1 Okay, boys, week 15, 16, sorry, in the books.

Speaker 1 That was fast as two minutes via Zoom. Only time we'll do it via Zoom this year.
Thank you for everyone understanding, but we're here. We're ready to talk football.

Speaker 1 Should we, I know we're going to talk Ravens Niners at the end, but was that Brock Purdy's fourth interception that we just watched?

Speaker 4 Yeah, Brock Purdy's having a bad, bad night. He's having a worse night amongst the two quarterbacks, one of whom tripped over a referee and had a safety in the end zone.
So

Speaker 4 pretty bad night for Brock Purdy.

Speaker 1 I hope he'll be, I hope he'll figure it out.

Speaker 4 There's still a lot of time left, though. We'll see.
We'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 We'll have to. There is a lot of time left, and I did just jinx it because I did say I'm officially over the ref safety because I was arguing about it.

Speaker 1 You know, you could tell when someone has a lot of money on a game because they're arguing points forever.

Speaker 1 I was getting into the weeds with the ref safety with all the people saying that Lamar Jackson, it was his fault and the ref had nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 And then after like 20 minutes, I was like, I'm over it, knowing that I wasn't over it.

Speaker 1 So I just did say I'm over it officially because the Ravens were easy. I didn't realize there was 11 and a half minutes left to the third quarter.
That was a lot of time left.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of time left.

Speaker 4 When I looked down, I swear to God, I looked down at the clock. I saw 11 minutes left, and I thought to myself, that's got to be a mistake.
They mean fourth quarter.

Speaker 4 There's 11 minutes left in the fourth quarter. No, there's a lot of ball left.
But the way Kyle Hamilton's playing right now, it doesn't look good for Brock Purdy.

Speaker 4 But it's funny that people are arguing in favor of like the referees on that call.

Speaker 4 They were doing like, well, Lamar shouldn't have been hanging out in that neighborhood at night if he didn't want bad things to happen.

Speaker 4 The referee literally tripped over his own feet as he was backpedaling, laughed on his way down, like, oh, fuck, I'm really screwing this up. Lamar Lamar fell over him,

Speaker 4 threw a pass that he probably would have been able to get to the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 4 I don't think he wasn't going to be able to get away from Chase Young because Chase Young was kind of on top of him in that moment.

Speaker 1 I still think he might have been able to. Like, this is Lamar Jackson.
He would have definitely. It's the one guy.
It's the one guy who, like, if

Speaker 1 any other player,

Speaker 1 I would have absolutely conceded that Chase Young would have sacked him. Lamar Jackson is the one guy who we've seen time and time again elude everyone, right?

Speaker 4 Big Ben would have just shrugged him off and walked out of the end zone with him on his shoulders.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he, at the very minimum, would have been able to throw the ball downfield and get out of bounds.

Speaker 4 It was a weird play by Lamar to begin with, but let's not act like a referee falling over his own dick and then tripping a quarterback and causing a safety is something that we're just going to be willing to say, you know what?

Speaker 4 That's part of the game of football. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 So we will discuss this game in its entirety once it goes final,

Speaker 1 because there is a lot of time left. I had no idea.
But yes, you have pardon my take today. It is via Zoom.
Just me and PFT talking ball. Tight show.

Speaker 1 We had a lot of ball, though. That was the last three days.
When we have this many windows of NFL,

Speaker 1 it's like a fever dream of NFL where it's like, I just don't know when games stop, start. I just feel like I'm always watching a moment while trying to do a billion different other things.

Speaker 1 I would have the holidays no other way, though.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Saints Rams game was on Thanksgiving. That's how long ago that took place.
Like, I can't believe that was this week. A part of me really liked how they spread it out.

Speaker 4 I would have preferred to get two games on Christmas, maybe the three games on Christmas Eve Eve.

Speaker 1 On Saturday.

Speaker 4 But really, what this weekend has taught me is that if the NFL wanted to, they could put three games on Friday, three games on Saturday.

Speaker 4 I don't know how many that would make for Sunday, like six games on Sunday, and then three more on Monday. And that would be a perfect weekend for me.
Yeah. I would do it.

Speaker 1 I would do it. I absolutely do it.
Just football on at all times.

Speaker 1 So yeah, let's get into it. Let's start with the first game, which does feel like it was 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 Steelers 34, Bengals 11. I want to shout out the Steelers just off the, off the top because.

Speaker 1 There are certain games that you need in time slots during the holidays to be blowouts that you can go like one eye on, one eye off. And this was that game.

Speaker 1 Like I, I got all my, I got my kids into the car and I was like, we're going to the winter wonderland at wrigley because i like when the when the steelers were up whatever it was 24 points in the first half like this perfect this is borrowed time i knew i had to say say i had to work and now i get to basically be like guess what christmas miracle daddy's taking you guys to wrigley so uh thank you to the steelers for that but this was the george pickens game he had the he had the randy moss uh

Speaker 1 stat line where he had four catches, 195 yards, and two touchdowns, where it's just, it was the George Pickens game. It It doesn't excuse everything George Pickens has done this year.

Speaker 1 It just confirms that George Pickens is worth the headache because he has this in him.

Speaker 4 Oh, it definitely excuses George Pickens' behavior to George Pickens. Yes, for sure.

Speaker 4 Like, now you can't, you literally cannot tell George Pickens anything because he'll say, you remember that game against the Bengals where Mason Rudolph threw for like 150 yards in the first quarter, and it's because he was throwing the ball all the time to me.

Speaker 1 Like, that is,

Speaker 4 I bet you he also found something to be upset with after the game with this offense that they still didn't get into the ball enough but it does show that george pickens when you throw him the ball he is he's really good he's probably still following mason rudolph on instagram right now right yes yes probably

Speaker 4 My guess, he gave him the super follow probably on X. He subscribed to him, maybe paying him a small monthly fee.
But Mason Rudolph, I'm looking up right now. He had 129 yards in the first quarter.

Speaker 4 It's the most passing yards for a quarterback with no incompletions in the first quarter of the season. Over Tua had one where he went for 113.
Mahomes went for 107.

Speaker 4 Herbert had one where he went for 120. So and also we told you this was coming.
You're going to get a Mason Rudolph game on Christmas Eve Eve. That's just how it's going to work out.

Speaker 1 I also like, I was happy for Mason Rudolph because I don't think anyone's had a, there's definitely been weirder careers. Maybe, I don't know exactly how to describe his career because,

Speaker 1 first of all, it doesn't feel like you know any third quarterbacks, right? Third-string quarterbacks are usually guys who are only going to play in an emergency.

Speaker 1 Mason Rudolph, it feels like has been on the Steelers for a while and just sucked up being the third string quarterback.

Speaker 1 And then, obviously, he had the Miles Garrett situation where didn't Miles Garrett say that he had said something? And then we all just said, Oh, okay, Mason Rudolph said something racist.

Speaker 1 Like, the narrative on Mason Rudolph, he just kind of sat quietly as a third string quarterback for all these years after having a really bad moment. Um, and now he gets this, and I was happy for him.

Speaker 1 Like that's, I don't know what he, I don't know how to describe his career, but you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like most third-string quarterbacks, we don't really know their names or they'll just be journeymen. You'll bring them in, like you'll cut them, you'll bring them in again.

Speaker 1 Mason Rudolph, we've known for a very long time.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and so he was, he was known for having a face that was so punchable that we were kind of like, oh, awesome, when Miles Garrett hit him in the head with a helmet.

Speaker 1 Oh, and also, yeah, that and also the concussion when they had to take off his face mask. That was those are his two biggest moments.

Speaker 4 yeah his two moments and and i'll say this about mason rudolph he's gotten way less punchable it might be he grew out the hair a little bit maybe just he grew up a little bit i looked at him and i was like you know what i almost i felt bad that i laughed when he got hit in the head with a helmet by miles garrett i have seen some some steelers fans calling miles garrett miles smollett who after that because they never produced any evidence of of any sort of racist comment.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to get in. I'm not going to dive deep into that and figure it out one way or another.
I just know that at the time, the night of the assault,

Speaker 4 it was funnier than it should have been just simply because we didn't like Mason Rudolph's face. Right.

Speaker 4 And so now it's like, I feel like kind of a shithead for not liking his face so much that he got hit.

Speaker 1 And that's all we knew him for. And it was, you're absolutely right because it was a fucked up confirmation bias where we didn't like his face.

Speaker 1 And then someone said something like, oh, he's actually a shithead. We're like, yeah, no, duh.
We've been saying this forever because of his face. So a hand up, Mason Rudolph.

Speaker 1 I feel bad how it's gone, but this was an awesome moment. I was happy for him.

Speaker 1 And the other part of this game, now we are Jake Browning podcast because he does listen, but I do appreciate Jake Browning.

Speaker 1 When a guy decides to turn back into a pumpkin, I like when they do it with such authority. You're like, oh, yep, there it is.
Like, we don't have to play this game anymore.

Speaker 1 That interception he threw into the end zone where it looked like in the first half, where it looked like it was maybe 10 seconds left in a game on a fourth down.

Speaker 1 He's like, I just have to throw it somewhere. But it was, it was, I think, the middle of the second quarter, and there was no need for him to throw it.
That was his pumpkin moment.

Speaker 1 It's like, okay, that was fun. Good that we know this.

Speaker 1 Let's move on.

Speaker 4 He submitted himself as a gunslinger. That was a gunslinger throw for sure.

Speaker 1 And I actually,

Speaker 4 this was a game when I was watching it. I said to myself, this game proves how little I know about the NFL.

Speaker 4 Seeing the Steelers dominating this game that I was sure, I think everybody was was sure that the Bengals were going to compete. I did not, you can't tell me that you saw a Steelers blowout.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 But what we said on Friday was this was Mike Tomlin's Steelers legacy culture on the line. Right.
So, like, it wasn't that surprising that the Steelers had that because Mike Tomlin,

Speaker 1 whatever you want to say about him, he will find his way to nine wins. He's going to find his way to nine wins.
They had to win this game to find his way to nine wins.

Speaker 4 I was just shocked by all the points. I was shocked at how good the Steelers looked.
I thought that

Speaker 4 I did think that the Steelers had a chance at winning a game by five, maybe even six points. I did not see a blowout coming at all.

Speaker 4 So it was a good reminder that as much football as we watch, and we should be experts on it, given how much we walk and talk about,

Speaker 4 nobody out there is really, we don't know what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 And you know the Mike Tomlin path is set because if the Ravens win this game and there's eight minutes left, they're up 18.

Speaker 4 And then they beat the minutes in the third.

Speaker 1 Eight minutes in the third. And they beat the Dolphins next week.
The Ravens will not be starting anyone in week 18. And Mike Tomlin will get his way to

Speaker 1 the ninth win. He will find a way.
He'll get to the ninth win. They'll lose the Seahawks at Seattle, and then he'll beat backups for the Ravens not trying to be like, see, nine wins.

Speaker 4 I don't even think it's that crazy that the Sealers make the playoffs. And I'm all fucked up because the playoff machine on ESPN.com has been broken for a week, and they haven't fixed it.
Fix it.

Speaker 4 I don't know

Speaker 4 who's in charge of Disney.

Speaker 1 Who's that guy?

Speaker 1 It's bullshit. I don't know.
That guy, that guy,

Speaker 1 Bob Iger.

Speaker 4 Bob Iger, this is a bridge too far, Bob, unless you're planning on paying us hundreds of millions of dollars at some point.

Speaker 4 You're a piece of shit for not fixing the playoff machine because this is really thrown away the only real tool that I have in terms of projecting football analysis.

Speaker 4 But I have a feeling like the Steelers could...

Speaker 4 It's way more likely than the 12, 13% odds that they're giving them. Because I think what has to happen is they need the Jaguars to lose a game, right?

Speaker 1 Yep. Which the Jaguars are really good at losing games right now.

Speaker 4 They probably could. Then the Steelers would need to win out.
And then I think the Colts and the Texans

Speaker 4 can't finish with

Speaker 4 so if the Jaguars lose a game and the Steelers win out, I think the Steelers would make the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I think it just even is just the Texans or Colts, like if the, I mean, if the Steelers win out, which if the Ravens aren't playing anyone week 18, that could very well, like, they got to beat the Seattle and then beat a bunch of backups.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 they'll do it just from that because the Texans and Colts play each other. But yeah, it's, we could get, listen, if it's Mason Rudolph, I might be back in on the Steelers.

Speaker 4 We might get a little back-to-back. I think if the Steelers were to beat the Ravens in that final game of the season, they might get a rematch week one.

Speaker 1 No, the Ravens. Or week two.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're right. They would be the one seed.

Speaker 1 They wouldn't start anyone if they're the one seed. They have have to beat the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 Last thing I had on this game was: remember when Miles Jack retired to be a plumber?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he was awesome in this game. And he signed back with the Steelers, and he was awesome.
Like, he announced that he was retiring.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm going to go to trade school and be an electrician or a plumber. And then he's just playing really good football for the Steelers, who have, they have no one in their secondary left.

Speaker 1 Like, besides their defensive line, it feels like everyone has been hurt or suspended.

Speaker 1 And they played a good game.

Speaker 1 I mean, they shut down Jake Browning, who was the hottest quarterback for a while, for two weeks stretch.

Speaker 4 I also think that Pittsburgh would be the worst city to be a plumber in. Yeah.
Maybe Cincinnati, actually, because of the chili, but Pittsburgh would definitely be in my top three.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, there's the Pittsburgh toilet. Have you ever heard of the Pittsburgh toilet?

Speaker 4 Is that the one where it's back-to-back?

Speaker 1 No, it's in this is from our good friend Nick Tarani, who's one of of the funniest guys in the world he we had this revelation a few uh maybe a year ago he thought like everyone had this it's just in the basement a toilet that's just free standing with no walls around it

Speaker 1 oh no i didn't know that i didn't i didn't know that at all i don't know if it's technically called the pittsburgh's toilet but he was like yeah i've growing up i saw like he grew up in west virginia but not too far from pittsburgh the west virginia part of west virginia is kind of pittsburgh um it's where florio lives yeah right and he was like wait you guys didn't have just a free-standing toilet in your basement?

Speaker 1 And we're like, no, we did not.

Speaker 4 It might be just like a bird bath that was down in Nick's basement. And he was like, oh, yeah, that's my toilet.
That's where you take a piss.

Speaker 4 But what's the toilet called where it's where it's back to back, where there's two toilets and you share like a back and a side so you can poop facing the opposite direction? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 4 That's a good one, too.

Speaker 1 But just thinking of a bunch of Yinsers just sitting in a basement with no walls around, just taking a big old dump. It kind of rocks.
Like you get all the space, like you can probably see your TV.

Speaker 1 They actually might have figured out life better than anyone else.

Speaker 4 360-degree toilet. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to a concert and I was scarred for life from this? I was, I think, maybe 16 years old.

Speaker 4 I drove out to go see Poison Play, and there's this giant venue that was like right outside my hometown.

Speaker 4 In the bathroom, there, they had a big toilet, like a big urinal trough style in the middle of the bathroom, but it was a circle.

Speaker 4 and so it was like a circular firing squad that was probably 20 feet wide in diameter so it was just probably 30 dudes pissing towards each other

Speaker 1 like just full-on dicks exposed at all times and i'm i'm traumatized from that i'll i'm never going to recover you a 16 year old that was my personal vietnam the toilet toilet story we should just do a whole toilet stories podcast because i there was a there's a bar in um lincoln park called duffy's it's a michigan bar and so like it gets packed on Saturdays.

Speaker 1 And I was there, it was probably like 15 years ago. I don't even know if it's still there.

Speaker 1 But it was one of those bathrooms that had like 10 urinals and then just a toilet with no walls. So it was just a toilet at the end.

Speaker 1 And I remember one of the funniest things I've ever seen was like everyone was pissing in there. And some guy just came.
It was maybe like, I don't know, 12.30 in the morning.

Speaker 1 Like, or it's 12.30, you know, in the afternoon, like kickoff, you know, is 11 a.m. So it was like a halftime.
He just comes in. He's like, I got to do it.

Speaker 1 And he just sat down and took a shit in front of like 15 dudes. And it was just like everyone was cheering him on.
Like, yes, dude, you got to do it. Go for it.
You got it for it. Go for it.

Speaker 4 I could go on. I got, I got a million toilet.
We'll do that like in the summer. Yeah.
We'll just do like the toilet episode. Yeah, the toilet stories.

Speaker 1 Okay, so next game. Yeah, the, the, the, the Bengals are, are pretty much eliminated.

Speaker 1 Um, I think this, I think it's now 12, I counted 12 teams in the NFL or seven or eight or eight and seven, which is pretty crazy. It just,

Speaker 1 everyone just kind of sucks, but also could be good every now and then. That's just the name of the whole league.

Speaker 4 The AFC is all eight and seven, and then the NFC, actually, yeah, the NFC is mostly seven and eight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It's crazy.
So next game, Bills Chargers,

Speaker 1 Bills survive. I think that's the perfect way to say it.

Speaker 1 This was a classic Bills 2023 game where it looked exactly like the Jets game week one or the Broncos game on Monday Night Football, where the Bills were just basically trying every which way to blow this game.

Speaker 1 And if it weren't for Gabe Davis, who is the best receiver in the world once every like five weeks, the Bills could have lost this game pretty easily because like the Giff Smith bounce back for the Chargers and Easton stick.

Speaker 1 The Chargers looked like they had life again. And

Speaker 1 they gave everything to the Bills.

Speaker 10 They played hard.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I bet you there's like a million people out there that have Gabe Davis on their fantasy teams that didn't start him this weekend, too.

Speaker 4 Because he's the ultimate where was Gabe Davis this weekend? Like every time you start him, he stinks. Every time you sit him, he's awesome.

Speaker 4 There's going to be a lot of people that will not be renewing their contracts with Gabe Davis this offseason. He's,

Speaker 4 they had to win this game, must win for the Bills. They won it.
It was pretty ugly. It was kind of dicey going.
There was a beautiful moment, actually, at the end of the game,

Speaker 4 where Easton Stick had the ball in his hands, driving down the field to win the game. And within, I think, 10 seconds of each other, me and Big Cat both tweeted out too much time for Easton Stick.

Speaker 4 Yes. And when it comes to sarcastically rooting on backup quarterbacks, we get synced up like sorority girls in our periods.
So it's just a beautiful, beautiful moment.

Speaker 4 It turns out there actually was too much time for Easton Stick. You could have given them the ball for forever.

Speaker 1 Probably wouldn't have happened. But

Speaker 4 the Bills had to win it. And

Speaker 4 it seems like the Bills will definitely make the playoffs. They're not like locked into their spot yet, but I would put a lot of money on the Bills to make the playoffs right now.

Speaker 4 It seems pretty clear they will.

Speaker 1 And, you know, we obviously get accused a lot of being,

Speaker 1 you know, Bills sympathizers because we are

Speaker 1 Glazers. We're good friends with Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'd clarify, because we've said this,

Speaker 1 I gave this speech before the Chiefs game when I was like, If you like the Bills to beat the Chiefs, take them 35 to 1 to win the Super Bowl because the AFC is wide open.

Speaker 1 And it's not saying that the Bills aren't, it's not saying the Bills are some world-beating team. It's that the rest of the pack has come back to the Bills.

Speaker 1 Like, the Bills are a Jekyll and Hyde team this year. They've had performances where they've looked incredible, and they've had dog shit performances that put them in this hole to start with.

Speaker 1 And, like, would it shock you if the Bills lost to the Patriots next week? No. Because that's their whole season.
They already lost the Patriots once.

Speaker 1 But it's more that the rest of the AFC has come back to the Bills where it's just a mess outside of the Ravens of teams, and I guess you could throw in the Dolphins now, of teams that just don't look that great.

Speaker 1 And the Bills are starting to rattle off some wins here that they're kind of getting some confidence.

Speaker 4 I still think the Bills kind of stink, but the difference between the Bills now and the Bills earlier this season is in the desperate moments, the Bills can like channel that desperation and use all that emotion and do something good with it.

Speaker 4 Whereas earlier this season, they would channel all that desperation emotion and throw an interception, or they would commit a costly turnover and fumble the ball.

Speaker 4 There were some fumbling issues too in this game, but I feel like their desperate moments are way more productive now than they were like two months ago.

Speaker 1 The perfect way to say the 2023 Bills, their A-plus game, I think, is up there with anyone else's A-plus game.

Speaker 1 I think if the Bills played an A-plus game, they can beat the Niners, they can beat the Ravens, they can beat all these teams. The problem is their A-plus game doesn't show up ever, really.

Speaker 1 Like they've done it a couple times, and the rest of their performances, they can lose to the Panthers.

Speaker 1 Their volatility is so insane that, like, if you, if you put the Bills versus the Panthers right now,

Speaker 1 you'd be crazy to say, yeah, it's going to be the Bills will 100% win this game.

Speaker 1 Whereas, if you put like the Niners, I know the Niners are getting killed right now, but the Niners versus the Panthers, I put my life on it. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Like, the Ravens versus the Panthers, I put my life on it. So, I think that's what the Bills are.
The fumbles,

Speaker 1 the Bills have an issue because James Cook is electric, but much like, you know, a horror movie when they'll like the like Scream used to do this when the Scream franchise came out.

Speaker 1 They'll have a moment in the first 10 minutes of the movie where they'll do like a fake, a fake, you know, murderer pops up and it's like, oh, it's just a guy like, you know, knocking on his girlfriend's

Speaker 1 car window. She got scared.
She thought she was about to be murdered. That's how I feel like James Cook's fumbles are.
Like, we know the foreshadowing. We've seen it.

Speaker 1 It's the fake scare and it's going to show up in the playoffs and it's going to kill him. Like that's going to be the murder because he is so electric and you have to have him on the field.

Speaker 1 But the fumbles now are, it feels like it's become more of a thing that he's got like maybe it's the mini yips where it's just, it's happened enough where I'm like, uh-oh, this probably is going to be how they die.

Speaker 4 Do we still get coaches that make players carry around a football all week? Like we did in the movies in necessary roughness. James Cook should carry two footballs around at all times.

Speaker 4 Don't use your hands on anything. Just have it on the pigskin, high and tight.
And then everybody gets to try to hit him out all day long. And you put a bounty on causing a fumble.

Speaker 1 And every team has this.

Speaker 1 Every team, every contending team has the one thing in the back of their head where they know, like, oh, this has become a thing that has happened enough where when we dive because of this, we can't be that shocked because we saw it all season long.

Speaker 4 Once the playoffs start, we should make a graphic of like the back of the head items for each team. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Josh Allen's interceptions are also on that, like to be fair. I mean, he had he had another one on Saturday.
But yeah, there's that one thing that everyone has.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think about the 2018 Bears when Cody Parky, like, you didn't think I knew Cody Parky sucked? He had the game where he hit four straight doinks.

Speaker 1 Like, that's like you have that one thing in the back of your head that you're like, if we get into a crunch time situation, it's a lot of times it's special teams, like your punting team or your kicker, but a guy fumbling, you're just like, uh-oh, this is going to happen in a bad situation.

Speaker 1 We're not going to be able to recover.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 we should add Darren Revelle at the end of the list and back of his head. JFK is back of his head.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We should release

Speaker 1 our head. Yeah, the thing that everyone's scared about.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 One other fun stat from this game. Did you know that Leonard Fournette is 28 years old?

Speaker 1 I saw you tweet that. And yeah, that bummed me out.

Speaker 4 You probably looked it up, huh?

Speaker 1 Well, no, I saw it, and I obviously trusted you. I was like, damn, is he the new Randall Cobb?

Speaker 4 He's 28 years old. Leonard Fournette is Leonard Fournette has never been alive for a Detroit Lions division championship.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. I have another one for you.

Speaker 1 Mike Evans is 30. I didn't realize that.
That is crazy.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's nuts, too.

Speaker 4 The fact that Leonard Fournette looked like he was 30 when he was 18 years old in college doesn't help items on this one. But yeah, he's 28 years old, which in blogging years, he is a blogger.

Speaker 4 That is like 40. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 I saw you tweet that. I was like, fuck, man.
He is the new Randall Cobb. But yeah, it's good to see Lenny back out there.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Powering on to Sunday.

Speaker 1 Lions 30, Vikings 24. The Lions have done it.
They have won their first ever NFC North title. It was the NFC Central, obviously,

Speaker 1 you know, 20 plus years ago or whatever it was when the Bucs were in it, which was weird. But anyway, the Lions have done it.
They've done it.

Speaker 1 They've won the NFC North First playoff game, home playoff game they're going to have since 1993.

Speaker 1 First home playoff game at Ford Field, which was constructed in 2002.

Speaker 1 They did it in classic Lions fashion two, where it was almost a complete, complete disaster because they had that game. They come out.
They look great. First couple drives, awesome.

Speaker 1 Then the Vikings come roaring back, and then Hawkinson gets hurt and Addison gets hurt. So the Lions kind of find themselves.
Nick Mullins just throwing the ball everywhere.

Speaker 1 I want to get to him in a minute. But that, I thought that that was going to be the most Lions' way ever to lose when on that

Speaker 1 last drive, John Kaminsky, who's one of the defensive linemen, tried to pick up the fumble instead of falling on it.

Speaker 1 And then Nick Mullins hits like Justin Jefferson down the field on the next player two plays after, and they were off and running. I thought that was going to be the moments.

Speaker 1 Like the Lions were about to win the NFC North, and all he had to do was fall on that ball. Instead, he tried to scoop and score it.

Speaker 1 And the Lions are going to be doomed, but they're not those Lions anymore. They're not the same old Lions.
I'm happy for Lions fans. Dan Campbell was on the Owen 16 team.

Speaker 1 He had all the old guys come up and get the game ball, which was awesome in the locker room.

Speaker 1 Like, I know that winning division titles, there's still work to be done, and you can't celebrate it that much. Fuck that.
Lions fans should celebrate the fuck out of this because

Speaker 1 that's an insult

Speaker 4 stat that it's been 30 years since you had a home playoff game never won nfc north now you get to erase all of that yeah kind of a loser move usually when teams go out there and they have all this like division champion merch that gets printed up and like fans buy that stuff in this case every lions fan should own a piece of 2023

Speaker 4 north division champions that you should you should own a piece of that merchandise you should wear it that should be like what you wear to church people should get buried in that stuff it is um it's like a life-changing event for people that live in detroit that have watched so much bad football over the years and it's been really bad football and to stick through that and i saw they got uh they got decker and ragnow up to the center of the locker room and they were like hey the old school guys that have been around for a while like they were part of changing that's got to be so hard like the mental toughness that it would need to take to go to play on some of those awful awful teams and then turn everything around entirely to the point where you're not just winning your division, you're winning your division with two games left in the year.

Speaker 4 You're like dominating your division. Yep.
That's like a massive, massive turnaround where

Speaker 4 you had to be so mad. I want to know what was going through their heads when they were playing on their worst team that they were on.

Speaker 4 And like, what type of individual can like suffer and last through that and still be able to make something good out the other side? Because it's a very cool story.

Speaker 4 And Big, I got, I know we did blind resumes last week. I have one more blind resume for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but just to say, I want to hear the blind resume, but that's like the fact that Dan Campbell was on the O-16 team is one of the the coolest stories.

Speaker 1 Like, that he has come back and taken him to this point because it has been just years and years of sadness and terrible things. Go ahead, blind resume.

Speaker 4 Blind resume season.

Speaker 1 Quarterback one,

Speaker 4 this individual has 3,984 yards, 27 touchdowns, 10 interceptions. Quarterback two has 3,648 yards, 23 touchdowns, 9 interceptions.

Speaker 4 So it's 3,9,900 to 3,600, and it's 27 touchdowns to 23 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 Jared Goff and Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 4 Jared Goff is the first one. You nailed that one.
The second one, Matthew Stafford.

Speaker 1 Ooh, okay.

Speaker 4 Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 4 Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 1 He did play a couple less games, but still. We're not going to talk about that.

Speaker 1 I want to say all this.

Speaker 4 This is a blind resume. Like, I don't want to say that.

Speaker 4 It's blind resume. The stats are what the stats are right now.
Jared Goff, more yards, more touchdowns, and only one more interception than Matthew Stafford. Listen, big cat,

Speaker 4 your best ability is your availability.

Speaker 1 That's a fact, right? That's a fact. Jerry Goff has been very available.
Yeah, if Matt Stafford doesn't get hurt, the Rams would already be in the playoffs. They probably were already clinched.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't want to do any negative Lions stuff. Like, I don't want to talk about their defense.
I don't talk about anything because it's just, it's good for them. And

Speaker 1 I know they are a division rival. I was clarifying online.

Speaker 1 I'm happy for Lions fans. I'm not happy the Lions are good.

Speaker 1 I want the Bears to be better than the Lions.

Speaker 1 But in terms of fit, like if you are, as a sports fan, can't take a step back for one second and just say, Hey, I'm happy for those fans because that's like you finally get that monkey off your back where people can stop talking about it.

Speaker 1 That's really what it is. It's not like mission accomplished, we won, you know, the division, we're happy with that.
I think all Lions fans want to go fucking want to go win a Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Of course, they do, yeah, but it's more just like the narrative and these stats and the fact that it's been this long since a home playoff game.

Speaker 1 Like, you get to erase all that, and that's got to feel good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's very tough to root for an entire city to just feel bad. You're a piece of shit.

Speaker 4 If you're rooting for Detroit Lions fans to never have any joy, you're a thief of joy, and you should feel bad about yourself.

Speaker 1 I'm actually thinking about this.

Speaker 1 That said, how clearly. Yeah, I was going to say, how many years?

Speaker 1 So, like, for you, the Cowboys, for me, for Max as well, the Cowboys, for me, the Packers, how many years would they have to not make the playoffs for me to then

Speaker 1 be like happy for them i think it'd have to be like 60 i'd have to be like 98 years old yeah and be like oh yeah

Speaker 1 i guess you guys can get one

Speaker 4 the thing with cowboys fans and max will back me up on this they they do act like they're super bowl favorites every single season and that was going through the years where they didn't they never won a playoff game like they didn't win a playoff game until what like 2016 um that was like their first win in something like 20 years they they still acted going into every season like they were the hot shit right and and and every other team was beneath them but i think i think probably for them not making the playoffs i would start to feel bad for cowboys fans after

Speaker 1 okay i think i think 50 i think 50 years is the right amount max is shaking his head which makes me think i think the rule for this is everyone gets one team in every sport where it's like no amount of years because i'm thinking about it even

Speaker 1 And it's obviously tricky because it also has to coincide with your team not being good.

Speaker 1 Like if if the Bears were eight, seven and eight right now fighting for the NFC North, I would feel a lot different. You know, I'd feel a lot different about the Lions winning the NFC North.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking about it. If the Bears sucked and the Vikings won a Super Bowl, I would feel happy for Vikings fans.
I would. I'd be pissed, but I'd feel happy for the fans.

Speaker 1 Like, so I think you get one team that you can be like, I will never feel happy for them no matter what.

Speaker 4 There's also a factor of if you're a, if you're also a shitty team, sometimes you just want a team to be worse than yours. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I think like Browns and Lions fans have had that going back at each other for a very long time, where it's like,

Speaker 4 as the song goes, we're not, at least we're not Detroit.

Speaker 1 If you're in Cleveland, right?

Speaker 1 I met a sect of Browns Twitter that thinks the Browns are a better organization overall than the Bears.

Speaker 1 And like, I'm not saying the Bears are a great organization, but I met this sect of Twitter and I don't know where these people exist, but like they were like, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're a better organization than you.

Speaker 4 With the exception of the Dallas Cowboys, I would say that I will root for any team that's been through the misery that the Detroit Lions or the Cleveland Browns historically have been through.

Speaker 1 Correct. So happy for Lions fans.
The only other thing I had in this game is Nick Mullins is fun. 400 yards and four interceptions is fun.
I don't care.

Speaker 1 I know that that duck that he threw sucked, but when you sit down and you watch a football game, if it's a backup quarterback, you want to be entertained.

Speaker 1 And he's one of those backup quarterbacks that will entertain you. It will be a roller coaster, it will be all over the place, but he's fun, and I like watching him play football.

Speaker 4 Yeah, there's a lot of backup quarterbacks that are just kind of bummers. I would put Easton Stick right now in that category.
We'll see what Easton Stick becomes.

Speaker 4 A lot of quarterbacks don't get the luxury of developing out of their just depressing phase into actually being fun while also being depressing. Nick Mullins,

Speaker 4 you can win a game with Nick Mullins.

Speaker 4 He's infinitely more likely to lose you a game and do it in a hilarious manner, but

Speaker 4 he doesn't lack for confidence. And so I will watch a game with Nick Mullins in it for sure.

Speaker 4 And how quickly, if you're, if you're a Detroit sports fan and you are presented with the trade, like that trade meme, I offer you one Lions division championship and then I receive the Detroit Pistons not winning a game for the rest of the year.

Speaker 4 How quickly do you think they make that trade? In a second. Every time, right? In a second.
Every single time. This is like that.

Speaker 4 That's how good this Lions season is for Detroit fans, where they can just be like, like, oh, yeah, the Pistons are, they suck, but I don't care.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it doesn't matter at all. I mean, and the Pistons have won in their past.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They actually have some history, whereas the Lions, I know like pre-Super Bowl era, but yeah, fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'm also an anonymous person who may be on this podcast right now has offered two tickets to Detroit Don and Superfan if the Lions do make it to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 It's awesome, Max. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, huge for you, Max. You want to match?

Speaker 1 I'll match. So we got to find two other Lions fans.

Speaker 4 I'll match.

Speaker 1 You can't do that to me.

Speaker 4 Of course, I'm going to match.

Speaker 1 How about your matches? You just get them a flight. That's fair.

Speaker 4 How much do you think the tickets are going to cost?

Speaker 1 If the Lions are in the Super Bowl? Yeah. Like $10,000 each.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'll do it. I'll do it.
I'll do it.

Speaker 4 I'll dig deep. It's a season.

Speaker 1 It's for this year. We're going to go year by year.

Speaker 1 We're going to go year by year. This season.
This season.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying like extending it to infinity.

Speaker 1 Yes, I will probably extend my personal one to infinity, which you can then decide to match or not.

Speaker 4 I'm matching for this year. This year.

Speaker 1 This year.

Speaker 4 Much like my Colts tickets that you're matching this year and not next year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so we got to find two hardcore Detroit Lions fans out there. Eminem, I'll buy you tickets.

Speaker 1 Did you see Eminem's tweet?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he said, I did it.

Speaker 1 Did it?

Speaker 1 And then he responded to himself saying, we did it. Damn it.
Still figuring out how to use this thing.

Speaker 1 We also had Calvin Johnson, johnson which i don't know if this was why he did this but it was so funny the lions tweeted congrats to calvin johnson in 2021 when he got in when he got decided that he was being inducted into the hall of fame and

Speaker 1 on on sunday after the lions clinched the nfc north he responded and was like thank you like always love always love detroit

Speaker 4 you know what i think he probably did he he doesn't tweet much does he no

Speaker 4 he probably logged on to twitter and then went to his his notifications and then saw that like a porn bot liked that tweet from the lions and that's the most recent thing that he saw and uh like some some bot scraped it and then he was like oh i forgot to respond to this one now's a good time yes yes um okay next game browns 36 texans 22 joe flacco and amari cooper holy

Speaker 1 that was incredible like

Speaker 1 Joe Flacco, it was a perfect Joe Flacco game because it was the first pass was a 55-yard pass down the field. You're like, oh, Joe's in his bag today.

Speaker 1 He even threw in a couple interceptions that were vintage Flacco interceptions. The Browns, I know this game, like if you look at the score, 36-22, you think it was close.
It was never close.

Speaker 1 They completely suffocated the Texans. The Texans had a kick return.
And other than that, I think the yardage was like 400 to 100 going into the fourth quarter. So it was,

Speaker 1 and the Browns lost a kicker, too. They lost Dustin Hopkins on the kick return.
So they were were going for it on every fourth down.

Speaker 1 But Joe Flacco, I mean, that was, I'm starting to think that the Browns might go to the Super Bowl. Browns lie.

Speaker 4 I'm thinking that Joe Flacco might be better without a kicker. Burn the boats.
Just like, just throw that fucking football.

Speaker 4 Just throw the ball so high in the air that comes down with a little bit of God on it. And Amari Cooper's out there, and he's going to catch every single one that you throw.
That's a 50-50 ball. So

Speaker 4 Flacco is good. He's playing good enough right now where the Browns can make a Super Bowl for for sure.
In the last three games, he's had 1,053 yards, eight touchdowns, and he just looks good.

Speaker 4 He had two plays where I was like, what the fuck is going on with Joe Flacco?

Speaker 4 One where he like danced around of the pocket, flipped his hips a few times, scrambled out, and just threw a dart downfield. And another one where he was getting wrapped up by two guys.

Speaker 4 He was getting hit low, wrapped around his knees, and he was getting hit in his throwing arm and shoulder as he threw it. And he threw like a 25-yard missile.

Speaker 4 And like, if you're throwing the ball like that, yes, you can win a Super Bowl if your defense continues to be like the best in the league by far. So

Speaker 4 I'm not saying that the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl, but I am saying that if it's a Browns-Lions Super Bowl,

Speaker 4 we might have to look into getting some Browns fans some tickets.

Speaker 1 Imagine

Speaker 1 what a great game.

Speaker 1 We're going to go broke this year.

Speaker 4 We'll have to go.

Speaker 1 We'll have to go with, like, we'll have to bring some Browns and Lions fans and sit in between them because whoever loses will try to fight.

Speaker 1 You know that we have to get, you know, what we think we'll get the drunk Browns fan.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes,

Speaker 1 but you know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 There's thousands of people listening to this podcast right now who are like, oh shit, me? When I said drunk Browns fan, they're like, Bernie Kosar?

Speaker 1 Everyone knows who I'm talking about, the drunk Browns fan. Yes, Joe Flacco went from this is a cool story.

Speaker 1 He's back. This is fun.
To wait, Joe Flacco is playing his balls off. And the Browns, like with Amari Cooper,

Speaker 1 it's crazy. I have a name for you, PFT.
Does the name,

Speaker 1 let me find it. Where is it? I put it down.
Oh, Matt Willetsko. Ring a bell.

Speaker 4 Matt Willetsko.

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
That's who the Cowboys drafted with the pick they got for Amari Cooper when they traded him for a fifth round.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know there's contract.

Speaker 1 There was contract like related because he had just signed, I think it was a five-year hundred million or something, and I get it, but that's got to be one of the worst trades ever because Amari Cooper is

Speaker 1 like perennially a top 10, 15 wide receiver in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you saw it on the 50-50 balls, too. Like, if you just throw it up, he will bring them down.
He's still, still very, very good. He's 29, by the way.

Speaker 1 Another age.

Speaker 4 That's crazy, too.

Speaker 4 All these guys should be 35, like playing on the senior tour.

Speaker 4 There should be be a senior tour for the NFL. Yes.

Speaker 4 I actually was thinking to myself watching this game, what do the Browns do next year? Like,

Speaker 4 are they going to bring Flacco back?

Speaker 1 How about the fact that the Browns paid $200 million to Deshaun Watson, and in back-to-back years, Jacoby Brissett and Joe Flacco outplayed him?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I mean, I don't know what kind of salary Flacco is going to command, but

Speaker 4 you have to think about it if you're the Browns.

Speaker 1 He wins a Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 It's not like what he's he's doing. Yeah, you expect him if he gets banged up.
I don't know if he can last an entire season. That's the thing, because he is old

Speaker 4 and he will get knocked around because he's not the most mobile guy in the world. But if he's healthy as he is right now, he is without a doubt a better option for your team than Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
So

Speaker 1 Joe Flacco is the second Browns quarterback to have 300-plus yards in three straight games. Who's the other one? Which this could be any answer because there's so many Browns quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Kelly Holcomb. Josh McCown in 2015.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 I remember that.

Speaker 1 That was quite a run.

Speaker 4 So you mentioned the kicker, Dustin Hopkins, pulling his hamstring on the kick return, which I love it when there's a Sky Cam kick return that goes all the way. That was a sick run back.

Speaker 4 If hypothetically,

Speaker 4 Kareem Hunt was actually the best backup kicker you have. on your team, there's no chance you send him out there to try one, right? You can't.

Speaker 4 Just for the discourse, discourse, you know what's going to happen to your guy.

Speaker 4 It'd be very funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think if you can maybe, like, if the TV gets blacked out, so there's no cameras.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. If there's, if this game were played in like 1941,

Speaker 4 then you could send him out there. But that, that would live on in infamy forever because all I saw was like, don't the Browns have another kicker? And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 There was a couple do. Yeah, there was a couple guys warming up.

Speaker 1 It is so classic Browns this whole season. They had a stat.

Speaker 1 They had a graphic where it was just all the guys that have been injured and all these really good players they have like a pro bowl roster of injuries um and then dustin hopkins gets hurt and he's been a really good kicker for them i think he's i think he's the only kicker uh who's perfect from 50 plus he's eight for eight from 50 plus this year like he's been very reliable so for the browns it's been their entire season where big win comes with oh we lost an important piece you wouldn't think it'd be the kicker but it actually is the kicker Like, he's, he's a good kicker, and the Browns have had kicker problems.

Speaker 1 I do think PFT, the NFL should make a rule where they just, maybe they spin a wheel before a game and just randomly a team isn't allowed to use their kicker because it makes the game so much fun.

Speaker 4 Being like, it's interesting.

Speaker 1 You have to go for it on every fourth down or is a linebacker going to kick?

Speaker 1 A kicker getting hurt. No injury is fun, but a kicker getting hurt is actually really fun.

Speaker 4 A punter getting hurt is fun, too, because then you have the kicker that goes out there and he tries to punt. And you're like, wait, why can't this guy whose job it is to kick a ball kick a ball?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Because they're two like very different styles.
But

Speaker 4 I've always said that the player that scores the touchdown should have to kick the extra point. How awesome would that be? It's a great rule.

Speaker 1 It's a great rule. It would be an awesome, awesome rule to watch.
As for the Texans, they need CJ Shroud really, really bad.

Speaker 4 He should win MVP because he looks so sad without him.

Speaker 4 Very sad to watch. Unfortunately, Case Keenum couldn't get it done, so we retreated to Mills Mafia.
Yeah. He's not as fun as I remember him being.
No.

Speaker 1 Well, he did get garbage time, so he put up some points.

Speaker 1 And it was, you had the rare case where the Browns pulled all their starters and then had to put them back in because the Texans got an onside kick. And Stefanski was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Maybe I should have to put these guys back in.

Speaker 4 Keep your helmets close by, guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So next game, Texans basically have to, I feel like week 18 is going to be their season. They have to win win week 18 against the Colts.
It feels like that's going to be a win and get in game.

Speaker 1 For next game, Falcons 29, Colts, 10.

Speaker 1 Don't have a lot other than Taylor Heineke is so much better than Desmond Ritter. And Kyle Pitts

Speaker 1 was

Speaker 1 scored a touchdown. I think he has three touchdowns this year, which matches his first two years in the NFL.

Speaker 1 I didn't even realize he's been in the NFL for three years because I feel like he's perennial rookie guy because he hasn't broken out.

Speaker 1 The only thing I had for this game, PFT, was if the

Speaker 1 NFL was ever going to implement a bowl game strategy, this was the perfect game. Like this game didn't, you know, it's two teams.
I know the Colts have had a good season.

Speaker 1 They're still very much in the playoff hunt, but they had a bad game.

Speaker 1 Falcons have been disappointing, and they look like they could win the NFC South a few, like a month ago, and they've just shit the bed.

Speaker 1 If you just dressed this game up and just said it was, you know, the vacuum cleaner bowl, I would have been more tuned in.

Speaker 1 I would have had more fun with it.

Speaker 4 So that's what we'll do the week before the playoffs. We'll have the back of our head things for each team, and then we'll also have our bowl game matchups that we would like to see play out.

Speaker 4 I think the Falcons and maybe the Chargers would be a good bowl game, too. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just like which team can shock you with how they lose in the most grotesque fashion. But this game, to me, proved that somehow.

Speaker 4 You know, we are dumb sometimes when it comes to our NFL takes. We have been correct about Heineke over Ritter this entire year from.

Speaker 4 And the Falcons would be winning that division if Taylor Heineke had been starting the entire season.

Speaker 1 Because he does. He'd be so much better.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 He takes risks and he makes big throws. And he just, he, like, I, the word game manager, I would never use to describe Taylor Heineke because he's not.

Speaker 4 He'll like, he'll, he'll fuck up a game in a good way or in a bad way. He's a game wrecker.
There we go. That's what he is.
He's a game wrecker.

Speaker 4 No telling which team he'll wreck it for, but he's going to like take some chances.

Speaker 4 He's going to fuck around a little bit, and he's going to give you a better chance to win overall than Desmond Ritter, who just sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's in the Nick Mullens category, where if you tune in for a Taylor Heineke game, you're going to have fun.

Speaker 1 It might not go, like, if you're rooting for Taylor Heineke or you bet on Taylor Heineke, it might not go your way, but you're going to get

Speaker 1 the price of admission.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, this game, and the Falcons defense, like shut down the Colts. Colts couldn't do anything.

Speaker 4 It's a quick update on the 49ers Ravens game. Trent Williams is is out with a groin.
Kyle Hamilton's in the blue injury tent and Sam Darnold is in the game right now.

Speaker 4 So we picked a good time to stop watching.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this was a fucking beatdown by the Ravens. I didn't see this coming.

Speaker 1 I took the Ravens, but I thought it was going to be, I took him with the points because I thought it was going to be a close game. I did not.

Speaker 1 I did not think this was going to be 33-12 with eight minutes left and Sam Darnold's in the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hopefully Trent Williams is okay. That would suck a lot.
Max Max has got to be thinking one seat again.

Speaker 1 He's getting some thoughts. Uh, okay, let's take a quick break for an ad

Speaker 1 and then we'll keep powering through the games. Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco. It ain't right.
Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Stella approved right behind me. She's taking a nap.
Look at that. That's a farmer's dog right there.
That's a farmer's dog. I love him.
Okay. Next game.

Speaker 1 Jets commanders, Jets 30, Commanders 28. I'll let you just go.
PFT. I have a question afterwards, but that was a great loss for you.

Speaker 4 It was a fantastic loss for us. The first half was a terrible loss for us.

Speaker 4 The first half, I don't want to bore people with hearing about this game any more than they have to because it, after all, was the Washington Commanders and the New York Jets.

Speaker 4 But the first half was some of the worst football I've ever seen played on any level ever. I'm including like high school, flag football, peewee leagues where everybody's the same weight.

Speaker 4 So you have like 60-pound offensive linemen running around. It was just, it was awful football.
At one point on a punt return, I believe it was Crowder that was returning the punt.

Speaker 4 He just threw the ball straight up in the air with his own hands. I don't know what that was.
That was a nice turnover for us.

Speaker 4 It was depressing because Sam Howell stunk again. I don't want to do the thing where I'm saying Sam Howell is injured, but something's happened with Sam Howell in the last month where

Speaker 4 he stinks. He's been awful in the last four games.
I don't know what got into him.

Speaker 4 I don't know if it's the play calling, if it's him as a quarterback, if it's an injury that he's not talking about because he has gotten hit a lot.

Speaker 4 But whatever it is, it's not good because now in back-to-back weeks, you have Jacoby Prussett coming in in the second half and significantly outperforming Sam Howe as the starter.

Speaker 4 I did, I'm going to do another film breakdown tomorrow on Ron Rivera on the sidelines because I watched with my mom and she was disgusted by it as well.

Speaker 4 And I recorded every time Ron Rivera was on the sidelines, counting the number of words that he said in the game.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 it was a very, very bad game.

Speaker 4 It was bad with bad future implications until the very last second where the Jets made a field goal and won a meaningless game that will have significant impact on the upcoming draft.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Significant impact. I was, listen,

Speaker 4 all week long, I wanted the commanders to lose the game, but I knew that once the whistle blew, once the game started,

Speaker 4 you only get 17 weeks a year to root for your favorite team. That's precious time that we get to spend watching our favorite football team compete.

Speaker 4 And it's impossible to root against them and to be rooting for the other team in those moments unless it's a very last-second field goal.

Speaker 4 And you bet your sweet ass I was rooting for that ball to go right down the middle. I really was.
And I'm very happy that

Speaker 4 it shook out the way that it did because not only did the Jets win, we got another loss. We jumped above them in the draft order.

Speaker 4 And then for what happened later on that night, which we'll get to in a little bit with the Patriots. So,

Speaker 4 yeah, overall, not good for

Speaker 4 the Sam Howell. It's not good for the Haliban.
The Haliban's down bad right now. I feel like the Haliban's just been reduced to myself and Max, and

Speaker 4 it's not looking prime. I'm going to put my faith, much like you, Big Cat, I'm going to put my faith in the commander's front office.
Whatever they decide to do in the draft, I'm okay with it.

Speaker 1 Yep, that was my only question. I mean, you can't ignore that Sam Howell, because the problem is for a while there, Sam Howell had a few flashes in games where he looked great.

Speaker 1 And then he had some bad games where you can say, well, they do have one of the worst offensive lines

Speaker 1 and the team sucks.

Speaker 1 But Jacoby Brissette coming in in back-to-back games and significantly outplaying Sam Howell, it's kind of hard because you can't be like, well, Jacoby Brissette's playing with a different team.

Speaker 1 He's playing with the exact same team. So it sucks.
I like Sam Howell, but I think that's a good strategy. Just say whatever they to do, they'll do.

Speaker 1 That's the only way you can do it because otherwise you just get caught up and emotions get in there. Just be like, you know what? Just let the front office decide.

Speaker 4 You know what? As I was watching it, I was thinking to myself,

Speaker 4 I can't imagine a more insignificant way to win a football game and a more like counterproductive way to win a football game than going on the road against the Jets, having your starting quarterback that you're trying to develop into the long-term starter get his confidence shattered by having a backup quarterback in mount a furious comeback and then winning a game that costs you a draft position.

Speaker 4 That would have been the worst win of all time.

Speaker 1 It would have, it really would have been.

Speaker 1 And it's, it's tough with Sam Howell because we play this game with quarterbacks all the time where if you show a couple flashes and you say, well, that's the guy. He's in there somewhere.

Speaker 1 And then you start to ignore and explain away all the other stuff.

Speaker 1 Now it's gotten to a point where it's like maybe the flashes were more of like an outlier. I think Sam Howell will be in the NFL for a long time.
Like I think he's done enough this year to prove that.

Speaker 1 I just don't know, especially if you're drafting third, it seems like the commanders would be smart to possibly take a quarterback.

Speaker 4 Maybe his

Speaker 1 alma mater.

Speaker 4 Go back to UNC.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Drake May. Drake May.
I can give you a book about that.

Speaker 4 So, yeah,

Speaker 4 it would have been really bad. It would have been bad if we won this game.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 I go back to thinking about how Sam Howell played earlier in the season. It wasn't a fluke.
Like, he was good. He made some incredible throws.

Speaker 4 He was a very, very good quarterback for, it felt like two months, two and a half months. And then whatever has happened in the last month has just been, it's been

Speaker 4 deadly to his career. Like he's, he's probably, Jacoby Brissette gave him some good advice afterwards because he's like, hey, man, I've been here in this situation you're in.

Speaker 4 By the way, Jacoby Brissette seems like I'm going to nominate him for the PMT Good Guy of the Week.

Speaker 1 award.

Speaker 4 I think Joe Burrow won it a couple weeks ago. Jacoby Brissette should get it this week because he talked to him after the game was like, hey, I've been in the same position.

Speaker 4 You don't know it right now, but once you fast forward five years, you'll be in this league for a while.

Speaker 4 You'll look back on this and you'll be like, I'm glad I went through that because it made me a better person, made me a better professional. But it sucks right now.
Good guy, Jacoby Brissette.

Speaker 4 And I like any team would be lucky to have him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think he could be a starter for some teams next year. Like, he is

Speaker 1 the best dude ever. He really is.
His name rocks. His demeanor rocks.
He wears cowboy hats. He rocks.
Jacoby Brissette officially officially rocks.

Speaker 1 For the chats, the only thing I had was

Speaker 1 Joe Douglas and Robert Salah are sticking around. That was announced this week.

Speaker 1 So I guess cool.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we had an all-time you think moment where Robert Salah said,

Speaker 4 there's things that I wish I would have done differently with the backup quarterback situation this year.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's nice for him to admit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I think, I don't know about Robert Salah. I do think Joe Douglas has done a good job of building a roster.

Speaker 1 His mistake was he built a roster that only works with a 40-year-old quarterback who then got injured. You know what I mean? That's that's really like everything else.

Speaker 1 He's like, their defense is really good. Obviously, their offensive line needs work.
They have good skill position players. He's done a decent job drafting.

Speaker 1 It's just you put it all into one basket, and then when you tear your Achilles four plays in the season, it doesn't look so good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Brees Hall is really good. Really good.
That's what I came away away from this game thing. It's like, that dude is, he is legit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Just illegit.

Speaker 1 Next up, Seahawks, Titans, Seahawks, Geno, game-winning drive. Do you know that Gino leads the league in game-winning drives this year with four?

Speaker 4 I did not know that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Seahawks stay alive.

Speaker 1 A game that they should have won because they were playing Ryan Tannehill and a dead Titans team, but they still struggled and needed the game-winning drive. The Seahawks are officially alive.

Speaker 1 It feels like they actually might be the team that gets in that seventh spot, which we've been talking about forever, that seventh spot in the NFC, because the Vikings and the Packers have both died.

Speaker 1 And so they're right now in the seventh spot. I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 They would check my box of, I don't think they can win a playoff game, but they have enough fun players that I'm okay to watch another Seahawks game.

Speaker 4 So where are we at right now with the playoff projection? Would it be the Seahawks against the

Speaker 4 Seahawks at the Eagles?

Speaker 1 The Eagles, yes. Seahawks.

Speaker 4 The Eagles. And then you'd have

Speaker 1 the Lions. The Eagles are way better than the Seahawks.

Speaker 4 Definitely, yeah. No, I mean, the Eagles, I don't see them losing in a bird matchup like that to Seattle.

Speaker 1 They haven't played, have they?

Speaker 1 No. Well,

Speaker 4 they haven't played Geno Smith.

Speaker 1 Oh, true, true, true, true. Max is just shaking his head.
It's just the three of us here, and he's just muted, shaking his head. Max, you scared of the Seahawks?

Speaker 8 That would be a must-win. Hecky.

Speaker 1 game. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 Your second consecutive must-win against the Seahawks.

Speaker 4 You're 0-1 in must-wins against Seattle this year. Is that concerning? Maybe change up the strategy?

Speaker 8 Well, against Seattle, but today was a must-win. The Eagles won this.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's the must-win.
That's true. Okay.

Speaker 4 Congratulations on beating Tarod Taylor. But yeah,

Speaker 1 good player.

Speaker 4 If I were the Lions, I would rather play against the Seahawks, which is crazy because the Seahawks also beat the Lions this year, right?

Speaker 1 And they beat them last year, too.

Speaker 1 The Seahawks kind of have their number.

Speaker 4 But I would rather play, just in terms of Juju, I'd rather play that game than having Matt Stafford come there.

Speaker 1 Although, I've been thinking about it more like Lions fans, you won the NFC North. They're not the same old Lions.

Speaker 1 Just do the final boss. Just beat Matt Stafford.
Beat, you know, it's like we did the right thing. We're on the right path.

Speaker 4 I heard from a lot of Lions fans saying that, yeah, that would be the last Infinity Stone in heartbreaking ways to lose. Yes.

Speaker 1 I had a bunch of Lions fans just tweet that's all i've been thinking about with no context i mean like two days later and i was just like yep i know what this is

Speaker 4 the rams should sign barry sanders and calvin johnson for that game and the amazu who was a ram yeah who was a ram uh

Speaker 1 only other thing i had on this game so ryan tannehill will not be on the titans next year and i was thinking about it what i will miss most about ryan tannehill and he had this happen in this game ryan tannehill is the one quarterback who I think he, this is a stat that I don't know if you can track, but I think he leads the league in sacks where he is like fully cocked to throw and a guy comes right up the middle and he never sees him coming.

Speaker 1 It's a Ryan Tannehill masterpiece where it's like he is literally ready to throw and there's just a guy just straight in his face that sacks him perfectly, wraps him up.

Speaker 1 He had a beautiful one this week where

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, I think I'm going to miss that about Ryan Tannehill.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 he's going to be a backup somewhere next year, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he might even be a starter.

Speaker 4 You think some team's going to roll the dice on him?

Speaker 1 I mean, have you seen what's happened with quarterbacks this year?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he'd be a great backup to have. I just don't know if maybe we don't know.
Maybe the book's still out on Ryan Tannehill. Yeah,

Speaker 4 take that next step.

Speaker 1 There's more chapters to the Ryan Tannehill story. Oh, Sam Darnold getting loose.
Okay, next up: Packers 33, Panthers 30.

Speaker 1 This game drove me insane because I really need the Panthers to lose out and the Packers almost blew it. And I was thinking about this.
Here's another thing that people can tweet us about.

Speaker 1 I actually think Matt LaFleur sticking with Joe Barry

Speaker 1 was a great Christmas present for Packers fans. And I was thinking about it.

Speaker 1 When you're Christmas time, you're around your family, and it's like, other than, you know, how long it took to get there, and how's everyone doing? How's your job?

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to get settled down? All this shit. You run out of things to talk about.

Speaker 1 I guarantee you, in the state of Wisconsin, at every Christmas gathering on Christmas Eve, it was just a full discussion about how much they hate Joe Berry.

Speaker 1 And that's a gift because you basically got something where everyone, it's the reverse of like politics at the dinner table. Everyone's sitting around just being like, Joe Berry's a fucking asshole.

Speaker 1 We hate him. He's the worst.
So in a weird way, that's a beautiful gift the Packers fans had on Sunday.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, you're right. That's that's a nice thing to have where you have a built-in, just a built-in conversation starter.

Speaker 1 Everyone's going to have to worry about playing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't have to worry about like playing a board game.

Speaker 4 You don't have to worry about like going around the room and saying the wrong thing to somebody. Yeah,

Speaker 4 Joe Berry sucks. We can all agree on that.
And he sucks so bad that Bryce Young, Bryce Young, for a minute there, I was thinking he might be offensive player of the week.

Speaker 4 until the very end of the game.

Speaker 4 Like if he had taken them down and scored a touchdown on that last drive, it would have been DeVito, Baker Mayfield, and then Bryce Young that potentially could have been NFC offensive players of the week.

Speaker 1 I meant to say that because

Speaker 1 you were right and wrong about your Bryce Young. You're dead right, Offensive Player of the Week.
You said that, that he would have a chance to win it. You were a little wrong.

Speaker 1 Like, this is why you keep playing Bryce Young and not put in Andy Dalton. Because if you're a Panthers fan, this is all you're hoping for.
You don't have a draft pick.

Speaker 1 You're just hoping that Bryce Young can have a couple games down the stretch that says he might be good. And this was one of those games.
Like, he looked good today.

Speaker 4 They might have had this one circled, just like keep Bryce in until he plays Joe Berry. Yeah.
Yeah. All we have to do is, all we have to do is get him to Joe Berry, and then things will be fine.

Speaker 1 Joe Berry made Tommy DeVito probably a millionaire for life. Yeah.
Think about it. What a good guy.
He is.

Speaker 4 He made families happy. He's made Tommy DeVito happy.
He's made a lot of Carolina Panthers fans like less depressed for a week.

Speaker 1 Good for him. I also, I think Packers fans probably

Speaker 1 get to do this, and it sucks that they get to do this.

Speaker 1 They basically, the way this season has gone, they had the moment where they, after they beat the Chiefs, I thought they were legitimately going to go to the playoffs, and they look like a really competent team, all facets.

Speaker 1 But they now can say, like, this was a successful rebuilding year because Jordan Love has looked good. And if you can just get rid of Joe Berry, you probably can fix a lot of your problems.

Speaker 1 they they're in that that camp of like bad season but kind of a good season which pisses me off off because it's bullshit that they get that. But that is probably how they're thinking.

Speaker 4 Well, they get to look at the Detroit Lions year and be like, listen, this was the year the Detroit Lions won, and then things are going to go back to normal for us next year.

Speaker 1 That was an insult. Packers fans will take that as an insult.

Speaker 1 Why? To be like,

Speaker 1 we're on the Detroit Lions path.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How things have changed.
I love it.

Speaker 1 The Panthers, I'm worried they might win another game.

Speaker 4 So they play against the Jaguars. Who are the walking dead the jaguars they could they could lose that game

Speaker 1 who else are the panthers i think they might have falcons who hopefully will be playing for something but i really really need the panthers oh bucks bucks

Speaker 1 if the bucks have it the nfc south they might

Speaker 4 i don't think i don't think the bucks are in a position to take their foot off the gas they might have the i don't know if the they might have the nfc south wrapped up

Speaker 4 yeah you you got to keep it rolling though you can't you can't afford to take a week off if you're the boss if you win that division you can't you can't back your way into the playoffs this would break me if the panthers backed your way into the playoffs all season long you have to keep your guys going it would break me it would break me if the panthers found a way to win another game i got to look at the cardinals

Speaker 1 cardinals play the eagles and the seahawks me the seahawks will already be in

Speaker 1 it will break me it will break me this game almost broke me because the the packers winning this game or losing this game would have been such a fucked up thing for me Where I'm like, I was very clear going into Sunday.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm not rooting for the Packers. I'm rooting for the Panthers to lose.
So thankfully, the Panthers lost, but that this game almost broke me. It put me through a lot, a lot.

Speaker 4 Yeah, hand up. I didn't watch a single snap of this game until the very end of it.
I watched the highlights. I watched all the cut-ups and

Speaker 4 but had no idea about the game flow whatsoever. I was just looking up at Packers were killing the game and I was like, Yeah, I was like, how is this game this close?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were killing them, and it just, it just happened out out of nowhere. Okay, speaking of the Jags and the dead corpse Jags, Bucs 30, Jags, 12.

Speaker 1 Baker Mayfield,

Speaker 1 he's awesome. He's playing.
I'm happy for Baker. He's playing incredible ball.
664 yards, six touchdowns, zero interceptions last two weeks, which are basically must-win games given the playoff setup.

Speaker 1 And the Jags.

Speaker 1 Well, I have a quote for you, PFT.

Speaker 1 This is an anonymous quote. Man, was I wrong about this Jaguars team? They are bad.
The quarterback is not playing well at all. They have major issues.

Speaker 1 Who was the moron that thought they could be a Super Bowl team?

Speaker 4 Is that Uncle Chaps or Pete Prisco?

Speaker 1 That is Pete Prisco. Pete Prisco is finally copped to the fact that he had the Jags in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Well, the schedule changed. The Bucs are better than he thought the Bucs were going to be.
And the Jags were

Speaker 4 worse. So if you were to go back with this Jags schedule right now and do the entire year all over again, you would end up in this exact same position right now.

Speaker 4 So Pete didn't have the benefit of traveling to the future and seeing what the Jags would look like and how Trevor Lawrence would look and how funny that picture of Trevor Lawrence getting hit would be.

Speaker 4 Have you seen that picture? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Where it looks like it looks like he's melting.
It looks like a Renaissance painting of a man looking at hell. It looks like a Chernobyl survivor in the picture.

Speaker 4 It's one of the fun. He doesn't look human.
It's the funniest picture of the year so far, I think.

Speaker 1 It's a future coffee meme because I saw it and I was like, well, I have to do do a Santa one for Christmas Day. But when I saw that, I was like, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 And he's Trevor Lawrence, I know that he's getting shit on a lot right now.

Speaker 1 People are doing the blind resumes. We were on that a week ago.

Speaker 1 He is very, very injured. I think he's gotten an injury in every single game for the last month.
This week was what, a shoulder?

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I doubt that he's like fully healthy from the knee at the start of the season. He started to get healthier, but and then when

Speaker 4 he had that ankle that got him all fucked up that didn't that doesn't heal overnight and a concussion mixed in yeah so he's he's banged up he's he's the most injured starting quarterback that's still playing right now i would say yeah so baker on the other hand is as good i think baker mayfield is as good as he's ever been yeah like even going back to when he was playing for the browns i think right now this baker is as good as baker's ever played football it's yeah it's fun to watch and the bucks i don't think they're gonna well i i mean we're watching the the niners get get killed, although they're about to maybe make it a one-score game.

Speaker 1 I don't know. This

Speaker 1 NFL season is so crazy. Like, can you definitively say,

Speaker 1 are there any teams that you definitively would say have no chance of getting to the conference championship game that are currently in the playoffs?

Speaker 4 The Jaguars.

Speaker 1 The Jaguars. You're right.
You're the Jaguars. You're the Colts.
But the Colts will maybe be replaced. Yeah, so it's the Jaguars and the Colts.
And in the NFC,

Speaker 1 I don't think you can say

Speaker 1 there's not one team that I would be like, I'd put my life on them not getting to at least the conference championship game. I'm not saying it's like I'd bet on the Bucs or the Seahawks or the Rams.

Speaker 4 I was going to say

Speaker 4 the Seahawks would be the other team.

Speaker 1 But it's like winning two games with the way this NFL season's gone. It's not the craziest.

Speaker 4 But the Seahawks would have to beat the Eagles in the first round of the playoffs. And that's not happening.
That's true. So I think it's the Seahawks and the Bucs, which be my first two.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 4 we know the books out there on the Cowboys. Would you consider the Bucs to be a good team?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 4 Because the Cowboys, they're not a good team?

Speaker 1 No, they're okay. They're a good team, relatively speaking.
In this year's NFL, they're a good team.

Speaker 4 So the Cowboys, in your internal algorithm, the Cowboys would be able to go on the road and beat them in Tampa Bay.

Speaker 1 Yes, we'll get to the Cowboys game, but yes. Okay.
Yes, I do think they could do that.

Speaker 1 The other thing I had from this game is it's time to start putting more respect on Mike Evans' name. So Mike Evans, I alluded to it, he's 30 years old.
Mike Evans scored two touchdowns on Sunday.

Speaker 1 So he is now one of five players to have five-plus seasons with 12 or more reception touchdowns, touchdown receptions. I don't know why I said it like that.

Speaker 1 The list is Jerry Rice, T.O., Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, and Mike Evans. Pretty crazy company.
I also looked at it.

Speaker 1 So going back to him being 30 years old, let's just say Mike Evans plays for five more years. Not crazy, right? Like five more years.

Speaker 1 And I'm even saying, let's say he starts to tail off. So he's been in the league for 10 years.
He's had a thousand yards every single year.

Speaker 1 Every single year he's been in the NFL, he's at 1,000 years, 1,000 yards. So let's just say he plays five more years and goes 750 yards, five touchdowns every single one of those years.

Speaker 1 So that's a big drop off from Mike Evans, what we've seen. Mike Evans would be seventh all-time in receiving yards and seventh all-time in touchdowns.

Speaker 1 And the only other guys that would be top seven with him in both those categories are Jerry Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, and T.O.

Speaker 1 When you say those four names, you don't think Mike Evans belongs, but Mike Evans belongs. He belongs in that group.
It's crazy. So put more respect on Mike Evans.

Speaker 4 And he doesn't look like he's slowing down now. No.

Speaker 4 He doesn't look like he's lost a step. Hands are still good as ever, still able to outjump anybody.
So, yeah,

Speaker 4 I wouldn't be shocked to see him continuing on for the next five years, having more than 750 a season.

Speaker 4 But yeah, you remember at the start of the year when everybody was like, they should trade Mike Evans?

Speaker 4 Can we get Mike Evans on a better team with somebody that can get him the ball? He had that team. He had that team the entire time.

Speaker 4 Like, what team do you think he would have been more successful on that was in the hunt for Mike Evans at the time? Maybe the Chiefs. Yeah.

Speaker 4 If he was on the Chiefs, that would probably be pretty good. That would be really good.

Speaker 1 But it's, yeah, Mike Evans is a first ballot Hall of Famer, and I'll just say the names again.

Speaker 1 If he finishes top seven in both, he would be in the list with Jerry Rice, Larry Fitzgerald, Randy Moss, and T.O. I mean, those are,

Speaker 1 what, the three of the best receivers of all time, and you could make the case for Larry Fitzgerald.

Speaker 4 Probably like three of the top seven receivers of all time, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's crazy, though. He's Mike Evans

Speaker 1 should be in that list, and he is one of, he will go down as one of the best receivers of all time, which is crazy because maybe it's because he played for the Bucs.

Speaker 1 Like if Mike Evans played for, not to, not to, not to get like,

Speaker 1 you know, media bias and everything, but if Mike Evans played for the Cowboys or the Giants, we'd probably be respecting him more. But I'm here right now saying we need to respect Mike Evans more.

Speaker 4 Mike Evans was so good that he got Johnny Menzel drafted in the first round.

Speaker 1 Think about that. Think about that.
Think about that. Think about that.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
So, yeah, the Jags, though, they're dead. They're dead.
I feel bad for our friend chaps.

Speaker 1 I just go back to that Monday night game before the Bengals, and he was walking around with his chest puffed out, thinking that he was the cock of the walk. And they have not won a game since.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was this four in a row?

Speaker 1 Four losses. Four losses.

Speaker 1 They look like worse and worse and worse every single game.

Speaker 4 This was the worst one. Yeah.
You can forgive them losing to the last one was the Ravens.

Speaker 4 You can look past that a little bit, but to get your teeth kicked in by the Bucs,

Speaker 4 not looking promising. I'm very much looking forward to betting on the Browns if they play against the Jags in the first round of the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
I would agree with that.

Speaker 1 We've seen that. Okay, next game.
Bears, Cardinals, Bears, 27, Cardinals, 16. We can do this quickly.

Speaker 1 Happy for Justin Fields. The Bears, this is why the Browns loss hurts even more because I thought they were going to be able to beat the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be able to beat the Falcons next week. It hurts that much more because they would have actually been playing for something in week 18.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I'm happy for Justin Fields. Like that was, he was, you know, high-fiving everyone, all the fans after.
I know he's got one more home game. Who knows what's going to happen in the future?

Speaker 1 But he played well. He was running that run where he looked back and was just like.
No one can touch me.

Speaker 1 And he also had no, DJ Moore got hurt in like the first play, and he came back in, but he was banged up. Cole Kamek got hurt.
Like,

Speaker 1 I know the interception. Justin Fields played well, and the Bears defense continue to play well, made stops when they need to.
And that's all I got for this game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if they do bring him back next season, I just don't want them to do exactly what they did this season and do it again and be like, we got to protect him.

Speaker 4 We got to teach him how to be a pocket passer. We got to put in this new offense.
Let Justin Fields be Justin Fields. Let him roam free.

Speaker 4 He's a free-range quarterback. So I've heard this.
He's not meant to be cooped up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I've heard this talked about.

Speaker 1 I think Bill Simmons threw this out there. And I've seen people tweet me this.
And

Speaker 1 our good friend Tom Fernelli has thrown this out there as well to me.

Speaker 1 Justin Herbert for the number one pick

Speaker 1 would be the greatest thing in my life. And I thought about it some more.
So you got to get the number one pick, but what do we know about the Chargers? The Chargers are in cap-hell.

Speaker 1 They need a full reset for their entire team.

Speaker 1 You know that owner cares about getting fans in that stadium.

Speaker 1 If they can draft Kale Williams, maybe even get Lincoln Riley to be his coach, and then give the Bears Justin Herbert, and Justin Herbert immediately becomes the best Bears quarterback of all time without even throwing a pass.

Speaker 1 I would do that in a second.

Speaker 1 I don't know if the Chargers would ever entertain it, but I would do that in a second. And I've like my mind has wandered to that.
And

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 I get a little rocked up when I think think about it.

Speaker 4 We're doing fan fiction right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's fun fan fiction to think about.

Speaker 4 You don't even have to learn a new name. Yeah.
Just get a new Justin. That could work just for the fact that the Chargers don't like paying people.
Right.

Speaker 4 And so having like a massive contract on the books like that, it's like, you know, I'd rather not be writing these checks every month.

Speaker 4 There's somebody else that's, wait, they're going to write the checks and I'm going to get the number one overall pick.

Speaker 1 And he's pretty good. And he's a USC guy who's won a Heisman at USC and you're trying to win fans in the LA area.
Like,

Speaker 1 that, come on, that's not crazy, right?

Speaker 4 No, I mean, I think that would be, that would be good for you because Justin Herbert's a fucking stud.

Speaker 1 She'd be the greatest thing ever.

Speaker 4 Kind of a social media quarterback, but a pretty good quarterback. Why?

Speaker 1 Because I would go finding every Justin Herbert hater and just like skull fucking him on the daily.

Speaker 4 It'd be crazy.

Speaker 4 You would become a big social media guy. Yeah.
Social media.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Going nuts.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, any team would probably, most teams would be be lucky to have Justin Herbert. That's not, it's not a crazy sounding trade.
I wouldn't be opposed to it if I were you.

Speaker 1 And he's 25.

Speaker 4 He's three years younger than Leonard Fournette. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 If the Bears got Justin Herbert for the number one pick.

Speaker 1 All right. You know, I'm going to stop myself.
I'm not going to go. I'm not going to say it.

Speaker 4 Were you going to suck a dick?

Speaker 1 No, I was going to say I think the Bears are going to win a Super Bowl in the next three years.

Speaker 1 This is fan.

Speaker 1 Let me have these, like, my mind wanders, and it's been wandering to these happy places that's beautiful out, and it's just,

Speaker 1 although I don't know if he can play in the cold, he is a West Coast kid.

Speaker 1 He's, he's a good player. I just brought myself back down.
Yeah, I brought myself back down to earth.

Speaker 4 But this is what people that root for awesome teams don't understand is in the offseason when we get to indulge ourselves in these fan fictions, like Lamar Jackson is going to sign with the Commanders or Bill Belichick is going to be our next head coach.

Speaker 4 When we just like dive into fantasy land and completely reject reality, that's so much fun because

Speaker 4 we get to play through all the scenarios in our head. We're like, oh, we could win three, four Super Bowls.

Speaker 4 So we get that same feeling of winning Super Bowl in our Spank Bank, which my spank bank is robust right now. It's overflowing.

Speaker 4 Whereas teams that actually have legitimate contenders like Max are miserable all the time because they have to deal with the fear of losing and the what-ifs.

Speaker 4 And then every team except for one doesn't win a Super Bowl. Then they get upset.

Speaker 4 And then, meanwhile, we're just over here basically getting high on our own supply, like hot boxing ourselves with NFL fantasies that'll never happen, which I actually think is way more fun than actually winning a Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Way more.

Speaker 1 I've played it out in my head. Trade the number one pick for Justin Herbert.
You got the cap space.

Speaker 1 You take a lineman with your other first-round pick, which is going to be somewhere in like the eight to 12 range. And then every other pick after that, you just get wide receivers.

Speaker 1 And you just get as many wide receivers as possible. Defense is set.
You got DJ Moore. You got Cole Komet.
Just get as many wide receivers as you can get.

Speaker 1 Probably trade Justin Fields for a second or third rounder. Maybe the Falcons.
That would be a perfect. That's the thing.

Speaker 1 I'm not a Justin Fields hater. I want him to succeed.

Speaker 1 But if you had that chance of Justin Herbert, it'd be like

Speaker 1 no one would even blink. Like, you have to do it.
So

Speaker 1 I want to find a nice rehoming situation for Justin Fields, and then we're off and running.

Speaker 1 I'm sure this could state that he could play outside.

Speaker 4 What if you trade him to the Falcons and then you get Drake London?

Speaker 1 Perfect. And Kyle Pence.

Speaker 1 We have to stop. Kyle Pence isn't doing anything.
Listen, I have to stop, but just know that this is where my happiness comes from:

Speaker 1 these type of things that I'm doing. And Jim Harbor.

Speaker 4 Get Shane and make you a Photoshop.

Speaker 1 Jim Harbor wants to coach. Jim Harborough's contract.
I think if he signs that new contract, he can't coach in the NFL next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That'll be the ultimate test of loyalty to Shane. He does the graphics and the Photoshops for us.
He is a die-hard Chargers fan.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 4 See if he'll make you a Justin Herbert Bears Photoshop. He won't.

Speaker 1 He'll fuck it up. Just to look at.

Speaker 1 I need the Cardinals to win another game, though. That was in terms of like games that you were talking about, the Commanders, how it would have been a very bad win.

Speaker 1 This would have been a very good loss for the Bears because the Cardinals would have, it would have basically made the Panthers the number one pick. And the Bears could have done that.

Speaker 1 And I know guys are going to fight. Like Iber Flues has these guys playing hard.

Speaker 1 But yeah, in terms of games that you would have liked to maybe lose, this was one of them.

Speaker 4 I still think the number one pick is going to be yours. I wouldn't fret too hard about that.
Just don't.

Speaker 1 I'm knocking on wood.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's take a break and then we'll talk Dolphins, Cowboys, which we've got a lot to talk about. And then we'll wrap up with the Monday games.
So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country-fried turkey.

Speaker 9 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 5 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

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Speaker 11 My personal favorite, the blazing buffalo chicken, hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 Dolphins, Cowboys, Dolphins 22, Cowboys 20, the narrative bowl, PFT.

Speaker 1 The Dolphins beat a good team. The Cowboys can't win on the road.

Speaker 1 So we could do the hot takes, but I actually have a more reasoned take with for you. I want you to maybe assess it.
Oh, you want to do hot takes first?

Speaker 4 Yeah, so here's my thing: the Cowboys are frauds. Frauds.

Speaker 4 But the Dolphins are also frauds because all they prove is that they can beat a fraud.

Speaker 1 And they just prove they're good at kicking field goals.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So we didn't learn anything from this game whatsoever.

Speaker 4 I take back everything we said on Friday that we're going to take the winners, say that they could win the Super Bowl, and the losers say they're out. I think both teams are out.

Speaker 4 So the Dolphins prove to me once and for all fraudulent. They'll either be the one seed, the two seed, or maybe the six seed, depending on how the last couple games of the season go.

Speaker 4 Because if you do the close your eyes, Dolphins, Ravens, who you got, big cat?

Speaker 1 cat ravens

Speaker 4 dolphins bills last week of the season who you got

Speaker 1 bills depends on how hot it is

Speaker 4 yep okay so we'll have to look ahead at the weather on that uh but yeah no i just i just love the fact that that our our own fraud logic has gotten so circular that we can now spin ourselves into saying that dolphins actually stink yeah because they beat a shitty team um i

Speaker 4 think the cowboys are under 500 team on the road yeah so um i don't know if this was your more reasoned take, but my actual take watching this game was that these were two good teams that played each other very competitively and tried very hard to minimize mistakes.

Speaker 4 And it was going to be a close game no matter what. And the Dolphins proved that they can win down the stretch.
And that was a great last drive from Tua to end the game.

Speaker 4 I think that it actually proved in a weird way that they're both good teams. Yes.

Speaker 1 So that's my reason take. Dak's drive to take the lead was like, this is what you want out of Dak.
Big Big moment on the road. Nothing's really looking easy.

Speaker 1 Like, you're not the front-runner Cowboys right now. That was a big boy drive by Dak.

Speaker 1 And the Dolphins' defense, like the pressure they got,

Speaker 1 Van Ginkle, Badger, he was all over the place. Chubb, really, really good.
We all knew that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I came away being like, both these teams are going to be very tough outs in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Especially for the Cowboys. So the Dolphins get a lot of credit because this was the game they needed.

Speaker 1 They needed needed to win a game against a team that is considered a very good team and do it with, you know, defense.

Speaker 1 I think it was basically both these teams are kind of frontrunners where

Speaker 1 when they kill someone, it looks like they're the best team on earth.

Speaker 1 When they get into the slog, when they get into this, this felt like a playoff game in the fact that it wasn't perfect, but it was like big moments, who can convert on third down, all these things.

Speaker 1 So the Dolphins definitely impressed me. And

Speaker 1 I flipped my narrative on the Dolphins like a month ago because I thought Vic Fangio will just figure it out.

Speaker 1 And I do think that they're going to be, like, they're one of those teams that if they're in the Super Bowl, I wouldn't be shocked.

Speaker 1 No way in the AFC would I be shocked. Like, they have everything, and if it's clicking, they can beat anyone.

Speaker 1 But the Cowboys, the Cowboys, it's funny how the narratives work in the fact that if the Cowboys had just not...

Speaker 1 handed the ball to a fullback who has four career NFL rushes on the the goal line.

Speaker 4 Well, let's not, let's put some respect on Hunter Lepke's name, the guy that had a storied career. I understand.
But if they low-man trophy winner, they don't do that.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys probably win that game and the whole narrative is flipped there. And more than that,

Speaker 1 it really feels like the Cowboys could use

Speaker 1 a guy who can run between the tackles, who can get those hard yards, who can maybe score big touchdowns.

Speaker 4 Maybe a guy who wears a helmet that's so customized that he looks like a car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe a guy who scored scored a touchdown

Speaker 1 like two hours after this game on Sunday night football, seven-point dogs. That Tony Pollard run where he just was like, I'm fast.
I could probably get to the pylon. No, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to just cut it inside and just get bodied by a linebacker. Like,

Speaker 1 I don't feel bad for Cowboys fans, but they win that game if they have Ezekiel Elliott. I do believe that.
Like, they're missing that part of their,

Speaker 1 they have struggled in the red zone all year, and Tony Pollard around the goal line has been a disaster. And if they have Ezekiel Elliott, I think they win that game.

Speaker 4 If you're a Cowboys fan, you have a legitimate ref excuse, too, because it did seem like they missed a lot of calls on holding, on Michael Carson's.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so you have a legitimate reason where you can be like, oh, we would have won this game if the refs didn't fuck us.

Speaker 4 But then on the other hand, the refs kind of also fucked the Dolphins on a couple calls. So

Speaker 4 there was one call in particular where

Speaker 4 they called roughing the passer. And I forget, was it Williams that landed on Dak and he tried to like pick his hands up in midair and move in midair? But unfortunately,

Speaker 4 the NFL rulebook and Isaac Newton's second law of motion, they kind of run into conflict on how you distribute force.

Speaker 4 So ideally, the NFL would like the defensive tackle to levitate in mid-air off the quarterback as you're falling through on your hit. Unfortunately, it's impossible to do that due to physics.
And

Speaker 4 that was one of those calls where I was watching it with some people that I'll put it this way, they've been watching football for a while.

Speaker 4 I thought that there was a good chance that the TV was going to get turned off. Yeah.
Like, so we don't watch the woke up football league

Speaker 4 in this room. Yeah,

Speaker 4 exactly. Put flags and skirts and let's just play powder puff instead.

Speaker 4 That would have been a valid excuse for the Dolphins fans, too. But I do think that Micah Parsons, he probably missed out on like three or four holding calls on that game.

Speaker 1 But that's, yeah, I mean, that was, it felt like one of those coin flip games where I, I went in trying to say we called it the fraud bull.

Speaker 1 I wanted to have a definitive answer on both these teams and be like, you know, oh, the dolphins beat them by 20. Dolphins are, you know, for real.
The Cowboys, you know, win by 30.

Speaker 1 Dolphins are frauds. I walked away just being like, both these teams are really good and they're going to be very tough outs.
And so, yeah, it sucks when you want a narrative to go one way.

Speaker 1 And it just, I think we both came to the same conclusion. We're like, that was a hard-fought game, that a coin-flip game that one play goes a different way, and it's a different result.

Speaker 1 And Chua, though, that drive that he did have to get the field goal, like that was, that was a big boy drive. That was a big boy drive against a tough pass rush, making the big throws.

Speaker 1 And Jason Sanders, what do he hit 350 yarders?

Speaker 1 Like, so yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 1 I'm mad at ourselves, PFT, that

Speaker 1 we actually have to

Speaker 1 put the narratives aside and be like, both these teams are really good.

Speaker 4 But, no, but here's what we can do, though: is if the Dolphins do lose our next two games, then we can say, well, the Dolphins are frauds, and also the Cowboys are frauds, too, because they lost to these Dolphins, who now we know stink.

Speaker 4 Yeah, true, true.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 let's put the narrative on pause.

Speaker 4 It's like Magic Eight Ball. Answer not so clear.
Ask again.

Speaker 4 That's what we're going. We're going to just roll it over into this week.
And then if the Lions go down and shit pump the Cowboys and the Dolphins lose to the Ravens, then we can be like, okay.

Speaker 4 So now we understand that what we saw last week was just two mid-teams playing each other very evenly.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Mike McCarthy, by the way, we're getting into fat, dumb Mike McCarthy zone.

Speaker 1 He looks fat and dumb a few times this game, where he's just so his brain doesn't work fast enough to compute what's happening. So I'm happy to see it.
Because it it was wet

Speaker 4 when he get when he gets wet he gets fatter he was wet he was wet um but yeah that was

Speaker 4 that was that was a great game i mean it wasn't a great played game it wasn't like fireworks but it was that was a tough hard-fought game that had big moments and big drops you know how we've we've said um we used to have warren sharp on the show and our theory was that the ball travels farther at night just something about watching a ball fly through the air at night like football looks different if it's if it's a nighttime game if it's a primetime game.

Speaker 4 Or, I guess, in this case, it was after the sun went down. But Mike McCarthy,

Speaker 4 his face does look fatter at night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's indisputable. It does.

Speaker 4 His eyes get further apart the later on in the day that it gets. And then he goes to sleep and all the swelling goes down and everything kind of compresses again.

Speaker 4 But later on in the afternoon, he starts to get almost like an owl face where it's just like it's out to here and he could he has 180 degree vision.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's uh

Speaker 1 Mike McCarthy dumb season is rapidly approaching.

Speaker 1 Anything else in this game?

Speaker 1 Dolphins should wear their top hurdling people.

Speaker 1 Yes, Alec and Gold does need to do that. Dolphins should always wear the throwbacks, and those end zones are cool.
It will be cool.

Speaker 1 It will be cool to see a Dolphins

Speaker 1 playoff game. I mean, the heat is always...
I know that it's not that hot in Miami right now, but. I feel like everyone is just always gassed in these games, which adds kind of a fun wrinkle.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's cool to see that in December, January. I would like to make one change to the dolphins' uniform, though.
I love the throwbacks. Throwbacks are awesome.
The color scheme is great.

Speaker 4 I like the helmet. I wish that the dolphin that's on the helmet, that's wearing a helmet, I wish that helmet had another dolphin on it.

Speaker 1 Oh, so just

Speaker 1 an action. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That dolphins helmet needs to have it.

Speaker 4 It's a dolphin wearing a helmet, and I think the helmet says M on it.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 4 I want that dolphin to be wearing a helmet that has a picture of a dolphin wearing green on it.

Speaker 1 I agree. I concur.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that never happened. Yeah, that, that, that old dolphins with the M,

Speaker 1 that logo rocks. They should never have changed it.
We should,

Speaker 1 we should really just, I wish we had the power to just be like, you guys, stop. Like, these are, this is your best logo.
Don't fuck with it.

Speaker 4 You don't have to change it just to change it. Right.
I know you want to sell more shit, but it's not good. You're going to sell a bunch of crappy shit.
Right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Sunday night football. Hank's not here.
Patriots 26. Broncos 23, but we do have PFT Patriots fan.
Big win for your boys.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Listen, do your job.

Speaker 4 They hate us because they ain't us. No one thought that we were going to be able to pull this win out, but that's Bill Belichick.
He's the best coach in the history of the NFL for a reason.

Speaker 4 And it turns out that if you put a scenario in front of Bill Belichick, where maybe on his way out the door, he might be able to give a big middle finger and fuck over a draft pick for your team on the way out.

Speaker 4 He's going to do everything that he possibly can to win a game. So, yeah,

Speaker 4 credit to my Patriots. The Patriot way is alive and well.
I think we're just now seeing guys start to buy in. So, who knows? Maybe even run it back next year with Bailey Zappi and Bill.

Speaker 4 We'll see what's going to happen. But it felt like a vintage Patriots night.
Playing against the Broncos remind me of some of those old Peyton Brady matchups that we all love so very deeply. So,

Speaker 4 it was a great game for my Pats. Very happy to see them pull out this W.
Very, very meaningful win to me, personally, as a Patriots fan.

Speaker 1 Their defense is good.

Speaker 1 Like, Dave tweeted, and he was,

Speaker 1 actually, maybe he was serious. He was like, if the Patriots were in the playoffs, they'd be the toughest out.
I don't know if that's true, but they would not be a team people.

Speaker 1 Like, their defense is good. And Bailey Zappi played well.
And the Broncos' luck just ran out. Like, we were, we've been talking about it.

Speaker 1 I know Broncos fans, that's got to suck because the season turned around and you're like, this is, it's it's been bad for the Broncos for since Peyton left. And,

Speaker 1 but there's, their luck just ran out.

Speaker 1 Like, even, even the fact that they got Bailey Zappi, they, they, they, they get him to fumble on the first play from scrimmage, and they can't score a touchdown from like the six-yard line.

Speaker 1 And, and then you have one of the worst kickoff returns I've ever seen by the Broncos where he just like threw the ball backwards. Their luck has run out.
I also

Speaker 1 remember last year when Nathaniel Nathaniel Hackett was struggling with the clock and they had to bring in that dude to help him?

Speaker 1 Does Sean Payton need that dude?

Speaker 4 I don't know. I don't know what's going on in Sean Payton's head.
He seems like

Speaker 4 he's just angry all the time.

Speaker 1 That end of game sequence was so clearly the Patriots being like, we're playing for overtime. There was, I think, 50 seconds left, and they ran the ball, I think, twice, and then they got a big pass.

Speaker 1 And they're like, all right, fuck it, we'll do it. But Sean Payton called two timeouts.

Speaker 1 I know, I guess you're trying to get the ball back with like 30 seconds left, but that's a situation where it's like, if they're playing for overtime, just let's go to overtime, right? Because

Speaker 1 it worked so poorly against them where the Patriots get one big play and they're like, all right, fuck it. I guess we'll go win this game now.

Speaker 4 I kind of agree with Sean Payton on that one because I didn't see the Patriots even trying to get down the field.

Speaker 1 Right, but just let them go. Like, let it go to overtime because

Speaker 1 if you call a timeout and you give them a chance to maybe get a first down, then they're going to flip it and be like, all right, fine, we're going to go score a first down.

Speaker 1 There was not enough time left. If you use all your timeouts, you're going to get the ball back.
If the Patriots have to punt with, I don't know, 40 seconds left, no timeouts. And

Speaker 1 with, like, I don't know. I just, I feel like you just, if someone's in that situation saying, let's go to overtime, you just go to overtime.
And so that's a pay

Speaker 1 to maybe take a shot.

Speaker 4 That to me was like a coin toss one where it's like, I could see the justification either way if a coach wanted to try to extend the game or if they wanted to just like, okay, you can just run it out.

Speaker 4 Because like on one hand, you'd be like, oh, this coach is a pussy for not using his timeouts.

Speaker 4 That was close enough where I didn't really have a problem either way.

Speaker 4 The big impact of this game was on the draft pick, though. So by winning this game, the commanders take the Patriots spot in the draft.

Speaker 4 Many people are speculating Bill Belichick leaving the the Patriots at the end of the season, possibly going to the Commanders, giving them a gift. Now,

Speaker 4 in the very last game of the season, it's going to be the Patriots against the Jets.

Speaker 4 And if hypothetically Bill Belichick had it in his mind that this would be a very beneficial game, because I think the way it's going to shake out with tiebreakers, I think going into that last week, I think the Patriots might overtake the Commanders in the draft pick because of strength of schedule.

Speaker 4 I think that if they have that matchup and if Belichick is going to the commanders, Belichick will figure out a way to beat the New York Jets one last time.

Speaker 1 Well, he hates the Jets.

Speaker 4 He hates the Jets

Speaker 4 and then give the Patriots a worse pick, give his potential new team a better pick. That's my fanfiction world that I'm living in right now.
And I actually think that it might come true.

Speaker 4 And that to me will be my supervisor. I like it.

Speaker 1 I'm in for it.

Speaker 1 Bros got to support each other's fan fiction more.

Speaker 4 Listen, I've, you know, me. I've been a big supporter of everything that's been going on in New England from the Patriots dynasty to the Lighthouse.
So I'm not going to give up on Bill yet.

Speaker 4 I think Bill can beat the Jets one last time.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Going to today,

Speaker 1 Raiders 20, Chiefs 14.

Speaker 1 Chiefs are bad. The Chiefs are so bad that Aiden O'Connell

Speaker 1 last completed pass in this game was with two minutes and one second left in the first quarter. It's the longest Stad Hole had this.

Speaker 1 It's the longest to end a game without a completed pass for a winning team since at least 1999. Achilles Smith had week eight 2000.
He had 24 seconds left in the first quarter.

Speaker 1 He went two for nine in the game. Aiden O'Connell finished the game after that completed pass with two minutes left in the first quarter.

Speaker 1 0 for 10, zero yards with four niels over those final three quarters. That's what just beat the Kansas City Chiefs.

Speaker 1 The Raiders' defense was awesome. Zamir White iced the game away, who's the backup to Jacobs, who's been playing well.
The Chiefs are in trouble. Chiefs are in trouble.
They're bad.

Speaker 4 They're in big trouble. That defense doesn't look so great if you're getting gashed a little bit in the running game.
And the offense. The offense wasn't very good either.
It's so bad.

Speaker 4 Snakes.

Speaker 4 There were so many plays where Mahomes would get the ball, he'd drop back about seven yards, and then he'd like shuffle up into the line of of scrimmage, almost get sacked by like a defensive tackle, and then run to the outside and then wait for what seemed like six seconds.

Speaker 4 No receivers open downfield, and then he'd just have to either run the ball out of bounds or throw it out of bounds.

Speaker 4 It seems like there's something significant broken with the Chiefs' offense, especially their defense needs to be better, but the offense looks like this is not a scenario where you can flip a switch and figure things out.

Speaker 1 No, no, and it's the difference of not having Eric be enemy, having Matt Nagy, having everyone drop balls, including Travis Kelsey, who I did see Taylor Swift show up to the game with Santa Claus,

Speaker 1 which I'm sure there are kids watching and they're like, wait, why is Santa Claus at a Chiefs game? I thought he delivered all the presents last night.

Speaker 1 Why is he awake right now?

Speaker 1 Shouldn't he be resting? Taylor Swift probably ruined Santa Claus for... thousands and thousands of children across America today.

Speaker 4 So I tweeted that out because my four-year-old four-year-old son Chris walked in and he saw Santa. He saw Santa Claus in the box with Taylor Swift.
Santa was in her box and he said, Dad,

Speaker 4 we just opened presents and you said Santa just dropped these off. How come he's on TV right now?

Speaker 1 And I was like,

Speaker 4 I don't know what to tell you, Chris. I've been lying to you your entire life.
And now he's packing up his bags. He's going to move out.
So that sucks as a parent. You never want to see that.

Speaker 4 I just got discovered to be, you know, living a massive, massive lie. And you're right.
It's like, when is enough enough? How many, how many families?

Speaker 4 How many homes does she need to break up?

Speaker 4 And parents and children does she need to drive apart before we say, okay, we've seen enough, Miss Swift. And then up in the box, I don't know if you saw this big cat.
She said, oh my God,

Speaker 4 on Christmas. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, you can't say that.
You can't take the Lord's name in vain on Christmas Day like that. And this is the role model that we're looking at now.
And

Speaker 4 it's sad to see that this is what the NFL has become.

Speaker 1 It's disgusting. She ruined Christmas for all these children.
And I know Swifties, they have their playbook. They'll call us misogynistic.
Might I remind you, I have a daughter.

Speaker 1 My dog, right here, female.

Speaker 1 My wife is also female. So how could I be misogynistic when I have three females living in my house? And it is.

Speaker 4 Some of my favorite.

Speaker 4 favorite parents are women. And big cat, I love your bitch.
She's right behind you on the couch.

Speaker 1 Right here. Yeah.
See, that's my bitch right there.

Speaker 4 That's your bitch. I fucking love my bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Swift is going to say we're misogynistic, but you show me a bitch I love more than this one right here.
Nope. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I grew up with a bitch. And listen, this pocket, we got bitches for days.

Speaker 4 So don't bring that to me, okay?

Speaker 1 Don't. And

Speaker 4 I will say this about Travis. Oh, well, one more thing about Miss Swift and her appearance at the game.

Speaker 4 It's a big rules for me, not for the situation, I guess, because she walked in with Santa, and who knows who Santa was being played by, but Santa Claus brought in his sack, and who knows, you know, he might have had alcohol or narcotics in there.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I didn't see what was inside because it was an opaque sack.

Speaker 4 And anyone that's ever been to an NFL game knows that if you want to go to a game, you have to carry your belongings in in a clear plastic bag that must fit into a certain surface area.

Speaker 4 So apparently, Taylor Swift doesn't have to abide by those same rules as the tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of other normal NFL fans

Speaker 4 have to abide by when we go to games. So any good, any normal person would have had to check that bag at the door, but not Miss Swift.
She's too good for that. So

Speaker 1 it's disgusting. She's ruining America.

Speaker 1 The world.

Speaker 1 The world. The world.
And so

Speaker 4 I'd say she already has ruined the world. It's not ruining anymore.

Speaker 4 Fine planet we used to have here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And so I await the response that we'll undoubtedly get.

Speaker 1 Just know that you can't hurt me. I'm in my basement right now.
So I'm podcasting from my basement. My life's going well.
So nice try.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Listen, I still live with my mom. You know who else lived with his mom? Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 All right. So clip that, Max.
I do have an important announcement

Speaker 1 after the last few days.

Speaker 1 My third son is now number one.

Speaker 1 My daughter's been dumped.

Speaker 1 She's gone to two. So I just wanted to get that off.
We'll keep that out of the clip. But yeah, the new power rankings in my house is

Speaker 1 the six-month-old is number one, daughter, number two, eldest son, number three.

Speaker 1 That's just what it is right now. The situation remains fluid.

Speaker 1 So when someone asks me, I'm just going to have to answer honestly until the next rankings come out. That's just how.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, the baby's like, he's, he's at a point where he's like smiling and laughing and everything's funny and you can tickle him.

Speaker 1 It's like, and he's not having like two and a half-year-old meltdowns.

Speaker 4 So what you're saying is your daughter should smile more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Laugh more.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, last thing on this game. Jack Jones.
That was awesome. So he had a pick six and Grinch.

Speaker 1 He Grinched. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He tried to give it to a kid and then took it away, which I love. It's a rivalry game.
Fuck that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 He said on Twitter that that was not true. Oh, there was actually an adult that was trying to steal it from the kid and he was taking it back from the adult.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hear that, Max.

Speaker 1 You're no better than Taylor Swift right now. You just ruined that for us.

Speaker 1 You know what, Max?

Speaker 8 What he said was so funny. You have to see the tweet.
All right.

Speaker 4 You're being a Grinch by not letting us believe that he was being aggressive. No, you're no.

Speaker 8 Because I didn't snatch the ball from that kid. It was from that black dude who tried to take it from the take it.

Speaker 8 It was from the black dude who tried to take it. Watch it again, lollipop.

Speaker 1 Watch it again. Lollipop is a great line.
And then he grinched himself on Instagram. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I thought that he was taking it away from that kid. He also spilled that kid's drink on him, which is awesome.

Speaker 4 I thought he was taking it away from the kid. And I thought that what we're witnessing is like, that is the next Chiefs fan and Blackface Origin story right there.

Speaker 4 That kid that got the Christmas ball taken away from him.

Speaker 1 We also had, um, and I don't know if uh David Jacobi, who uh works ESPN, very funny guy. I don't know if he came up with it, but I'm gonna give him credit for coming up with it.

Speaker 1 This is way better than any scorer Gami ever. So, Jake, suck on this.
Uh, he said that this was the first time ever we had a fart and a taint in back-to-back plays.

Speaker 1 A fart is a fumble and a return for a touchdown, and a taint is a touchdown after interception. So, pretty cool.

Speaker 1 I don't know, I don't know when we've last had that.

Speaker 4 I don't know if that does that guy actually work for ESPN or is that just like his Twitter bio to be like, yeah, I'm putting out some bullshit. No, it's Jacoby.

Speaker 1 He worked at like Grant. Oh, it is.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jacoby, too.

Speaker 1 He did this show with Jalen Rose. Yeah, yeah.
Very funny guy. I didn't know it was him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I mean, I'm giving him credit because so fart and a taint, like, I'm mad that I didn't come up with that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good.
But

Speaker 4 if you're the Raiders, I think now you have to look in the mirror and say,

Speaker 4 Antonio Pierce needs to be the head coach. His message before this game, according to Tracy Wolfson, was the message is hatred, violence, and pain.

Speaker 4 This is going to be a violent game.

Speaker 4 There will be no better head coach for the Raiders. They might even, they should move the team back to Oakland and have Antonio Pierce coach the Oakland, because this is like

Speaker 1 the perfect culture.

Speaker 4 It's the perfect culture fit. Like, yeah, Rich Bersace would have been awesome as a Raiders head coach.

Speaker 1 You missed out on him you should probably kept tom cable around for a while just so he could like beat the crap out of his assistant coaches that's a great culture fit too um antonio pierce should be the next raiders head coach so i joked on uh xvideos.com um and it's it kind of was one of those jokes that i know that it like probably hit too close to home for raiders fans but i said that antonio pierce has done a good enough job as the Raiders interim that Mark Davis will offer $200 million to Lincoln Riley because it does feel like he's always he's always going to maybe do that.

Speaker 1 Or like, yeah, this guy, the rich Persacea, no, let's get Josh McDaniels. Like, this guy's done a great job.
He's got us playing hard. Yeah, oh, this shiny, flashy toy over here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let me overpay for him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, where's that money going to come from, though?

Speaker 4 That's the thing is, like, I think Mark Davis might have painted himself into a corner with the last two mistakes that he made where he won't be able to go ahead and make a third.

Speaker 4 He's, he's made so many fuck ups that he's actually prevented himself from fucking up again.

Speaker 1 He might say to Antonio Pierce, like, you love the Raiders? How much do you love the Raiders? Will you coach them for free?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd probably do it.

Speaker 1 Can I share the PF Chang's gift card?

Speaker 4 I love Antonio Pierce as a message of hatred, violence, and pain.

Speaker 1 I love that. If we don't get Mark Davis on for Super Bowl week, someone listening right now has an in with Mark Davis, please.
It's all we want.

Speaker 1 We want to go to lunch with Mark Davis at PF Changs and do an interview there. And you have people in the background.
I don't care. It will sound terrible, but

Speaker 1 it's all we want. We might just have to say it's our white whale.

Speaker 4 You know what? Here's what we'll say.

Speaker 1 Our treat. We'll pay.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'll match. Mark Davis.
Mark Davis, we will take you out to PF Changs of your choosing in the greater Las Vegas area, and we're buying. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to one-up that for us. So we both have to pay.
Mark Davis, you come on pardon my take. We will give your favorite PF Changs our credit card, and we'll say, all week, this guy eats for free.

Speaker 1 All week, all week, you can have as much as you want on us.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 and and we'll cover tip too.

Speaker 1 You, you know what? Let's double-let's just double ourselves two weeks.

Speaker 1 How much damage can one man do?

Speaker 1 Imagine if we, if that ends the podcast,

Speaker 1 We'd hold that. That would be a very, very funny way to end it.
We shut down the body. I'm coming back from Vegas and there's just like a foreclosed sign on the Chicago HQ.

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 we'd have to put in some sort of stipulation.

Speaker 4 You have to party. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 You have to be present eating a meal for each one of these. You can't just go up there and like do two lunches, brunch, liner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 uh fourth meal yeah no you have to be eating every meal yeah you have to yeah you're allowed to bring home leftovers but let's be reasonable about it. Let's be reasonable about it.

Speaker 1 We've made our demands.

Speaker 1 We welcome your response. Yeah.
No one.

Speaker 4 You could put us out of business with the wine selection. That's true.

Speaker 1 That's true. Top shop.
Do you think P.F. Changs has like an old cellar with like 1940, you know, like war-era French wine that's never been opened?

Speaker 4 No, they've got, they've got a cellar and it's got 1930 Mad Dog.

Speaker 1 Night Train.

Speaker 4 They have the largest collection of Thunderbird west of the Mississippi.

Speaker 1 They have a Mai Tai from 1923.

Speaker 1 Still sitting there.

Speaker 4 This Thunderbird is so good that it costs $7 a bottle.

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Speaker 1 All right. Wrapping up two more games.
Eagles, Giants, Max, it looked great. It looked great for the first half.
Then it got very scary. Wins a win.

Speaker 1 But have any of your concerns been alleviated?

Speaker 8 Alleviated no.

Speaker 8 But I'm not going to be upset about this game.

Speaker 1 So the answer is no.

Speaker 8 Alleviated no.

Speaker 1 But we can build off this.

Speaker 4 Max, would you say that you were optimistic when you tweeted season over?

Speaker 8 We can't.

Speaker 1 I retweeted that.

Speaker 8 Nothing that I tweet in the middle of a football game

Speaker 8 should come back to follow me into this podcast.

Speaker 1 100% agree.

Speaker 4 It's the season over, Max.

Speaker 4 What did you say? Was the season over?

Speaker 1 Well, yeah.

Speaker 8 There was one play that saved the season. It was after the pick six, they go to third and 20.
That was the third and 20 day J. Brown was the play that saved the season.

Speaker 8 Because if they don't pick that up, they're fucked.

Speaker 1 That Boston Scott fumble was so funny.

Speaker 8 That was but, I mean, that was the worst thing since the buff fumble.

Speaker 1 So funny. It was.

Speaker 8 How does that happen? How does your own player tackle you into a fumble to start the second half?

Speaker 1 And shout out memes. He had a great headline.
He's like, when Harry and Marv have to rob an eight-year-old.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was good.

Speaker 8 That's exactly what it looked like. That was insane.

Speaker 4 I watched that movie today. That's a perfect description.
It really is.

Speaker 1 It really is. So,

Speaker 1 yeah, wins a win.

Speaker 1 We have to, unfortunately, say goodbye to our Italian.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 he was the chosen one, Tommy DeVito. He's had a rough week.
He got benched. He had an ad

Speaker 1 on social media where he was doing an ad for Rayo's sauce.

Speaker 1 Italians were not happy about that. They were upset about the canned sauce in his house.

Speaker 1 Gravy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm happy we, listen, I don't regret anything that we said on this podcast about him. I'm happy we enjoyed that moment.
I'm sad it's over, but all good things must come to an end.

Speaker 4 I don't think we've seen the last of Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 4 Something tells me Tommy might be popping his head. Listen, he got benched for Tarod Taylor.
And if you know anything about the history of Tarod Taylor, like you can't help but root for the guy.

Speaker 4 He's had so many like fluke injuries, weird shits happened to him. He got benched for Nathan Peterman at one point where he threw like five picks and a half.
He goes out to San Diego.

Speaker 4 He's going to get the starting job. I think they were still in San Diego.
I might be wrong.

Speaker 4 And he goes out there and

Speaker 4 gets his ribs broken. He tries to take a painkilling shot to play through the pain, get back in the game.
When he takes the painkilling shot, they puncture his lung and he has to go to the hospital.

Speaker 4 Then he's out for weeks and then Justin Herbert takes over, and then it's on and on and on for him. So it's tough to root against Tarod Taylor, but

Speaker 4 knowing what we do know about his history, we might see more Tommy DeVito later on this season. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 I wouldn't write Tommy off just yet.

Speaker 1 Here's what I'm hoping for Tommy DeVito. I'm hoping he goes into witness protection for a while.
And by that, I mean like he's the third string quarterback on like the Chargers or maybe the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 And then a couple of years pass and then he pops back up and we get to see him and we get to relive everything. And maybe he's learned some things.
That's what I hope for Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 4 Maybe he goes to the Jets.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Someone. Tommy Twitter.
It's just like, keep him, keep him in the city.

Speaker 1 Someone did tweet like, there really can't be anything worse than getting benched on national TV on Christmas and then having to go sleep in your childhood bedroom.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's tough.
It's tough. But we love Tommy.

Speaker 1 I want Tommy on the show.

Speaker 1 What are we going to offer? I mean,

Speaker 1 as many cutlasses.

Speaker 4 We'll get him a chain.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll get you another chain.

Speaker 4 We'll get you a nice new chain.

Speaker 4 I don't think we've seen the last of him this year. I think he was too much fun to the point where I feel like the Giants will bring him back next year.
Yeah, I hope so. As far as the backup goes,

Speaker 4 he had a few good games.

Speaker 4 He played...

Speaker 4 Pretty good against the Packers. Yeah.
He looked like a good quarterback. He looked like a good quarterback against the Commanders.

Speaker 4 Now, granted, the Saints didn't go so well. This game didn't go so well, but he didn't even get a chance to get into a rhythm.

Speaker 4 It was very sad today where before the game, they did a big feature on Tommy DeVito talking about how kids all over the state of New Jersey were waking up that Christmas morning, unwrapping Tommy DeVito jerseys.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and he was like crying, thinking about it. He's like, yeah, you know, like, I used to be that kid where, you know, Christmas morning.
I forget, what was the Italian linebacker from Notre Dame?

Speaker 4 He's like, I got his jersey. And that meant a lot to me.
And just, it's a beautiful thing seeing kids get that with my name on the back.

Speaker 4 And then, like, little did we know, but there was like an hour-long countdown clock on the Tommy DeVito life cycle that was going on at the moment that was about to expire.

Speaker 1 Yeah, tough, tough, but we love them. Max, you feel good, though.
Second seed, kind of wrapped up. Well, actually, first seed, still in

Speaker 1 the play. Although, I think the Niners play the Cardinals.

Speaker 8 And then the Rams. The Rams could be playing for something in week 18.
And the Rams are frisky.

Speaker 1 We've said that. The Rams are frisky.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Or dangerous was the word.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're officially dangerous. They've officially been in the dangerous tier.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, let's talk about the Ravens Niners game. I mean,

Speaker 1 that was a beatdown by the Ravens. Brock Purdy, four interceptions.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I thought for sure the Ravens were going to be fucked after that safety. And it was just, yeah, I mean, the Ravens, like,

Speaker 1 I don't even think they played like a perfect offensive game, but their defense was flying around, stopping outside of that one drive where Kyle Shanahan remembered that he has Christian McCaffrey and they should just run the ball.

Speaker 1 The 49ers just looked out of sorts. Kittle looked pretty good, but Kittle had a couple huge passes in the beginning of the game.

Speaker 4 Purdy was very confused by the defense. He had a lot of like deflected passes, too.
Judavian Clowney, good reminder. He plays for the Ravens.

Speaker 4 You'll be forgiven if you forget that because he plays on a different team every year. I actually like his style where he's just like, I'm going to perpetually be a free agent.

Speaker 4 He's addicted to betting on himself. And when he's playing, he still plays really well.
Purdy was definitely uncomfortable for most of the game.

Speaker 4 I want to know if there's such a thing as like a comeback Agami because in my dumb brain, I see 2-0 and I think game over.

Speaker 4 I wonder what percentage of teams that have gone down by a safety to start a game have ever come back and won that game. And they not only came back, but they dominated.

Speaker 4 Lamar Jackson, by the way, making Fred Warner look like an infant on a scramble. It's just, it's good to have a reminder every now and again about just how good Lamar Jackson is with his feet.

Speaker 1 That was my whole point about the safety. It's like any other player, Lamar Jackson can get out of anything.
And he makes people look like they're moving in slow motion.

Speaker 1 Fred Warner is one of the best linebackers in the game, and he made him look like he had cement boots on. Like, that's, he's just, and the Ravens now, I mean,

Speaker 1 we went into this weekend being like, you know, the Diners are in a class of their own.

Speaker 1 Now, it's, I mean, are the Ravens in a class of their own? I don't even know.

Speaker 1 This is the most wide open NFL playoffs I feel like we've had in a very, very long time.

Speaker 1 Where I was, there's just so many teams that are just, everyone has a flaw, and there's, and like the Ravens, you could say, well, they've, they haven't won a big playoff. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They've won what? Lamar's won one playoff game, so you kind of have to prove it. But every team has a flaw in some capacity, and we'll see what happens.
It's awesome. I'm so excited for the playoffs.

Speaker 4 I was very wrong about this game. I thought that the Niners, I thought that they didn't have a flaw.
I thought that their flaw was being injured, and they were healthy today.

Speaker 4 And even before Trent Williams went out,

Speaker 4 they just got their ass kicked today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see,

Speaker 1 I did have the Ravens today, and it's really just, I think the Ravens and the Browns are the two teams that play defense on a different level. And

Speaker 1 look, I don't think Brock Purdy's bad. We've said it.
He's a good quarterback.

Speaker 1 You can't take anything away from the season he's had, but when you have to play a defense that good,

Speaker 1 things don't come as easy as they do when you're playing other teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yep. So

Speaker 4 this is another good reminder that we're dumb as shit and sometimes don't know anything. For me personally, at least.

Speaker 1 Also, you could say, like, Brock Purdy could use some help in this game, could use a couple more weapons,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 He's a lack of weapons today was probably Brock Purdy.

Speaker 1 That's probably the fault of the Niners.

Speaker 4 Brock Purdy can't do it all on his own.

Speaker 4 Get him a wide receiver, get him a tight end, get him a decent running game, and get him like a stud offensive lineman. And then we'll truly see what Brock Purdy can do.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is that?

Speaker 4 I do think that this definitely changed the discourse. I think we're seeing a major discourse alert here.

Speaker 4 Brock Purdy no longer the frontrunner to win NFL MVP.

Speaker 1 I don't think. I was going to say, who the fuck is going to win MVP now? Lamar is the favorite.
Lamar's minus 200. So

Speaker 1 this is why I'm not.

Speaker 1 This is why the MVP in the NFL is so stupid. And Lamar would be a deserving favorite or

Speaker 1 deserving winner because it does usually go to just whoever gets the one seed, the cornerback of the one seed.

Speaker 1 But it's so stupid because the MVP, it feels like, is decided in the last three weeks of the season every year. So

Speaker 1 whoever has a big primetime game at the end of the year, and if they play well, they win the MVP.

Speaker 4 Huge come up for our boy, Mike Florio, my internet dad, your internet uncle. Lamar called him out, called him Mike Florest, which is that that name's going to stick.
I can tell you right now.

Speaker 4 I haven't heard the clip. I'm going to play it live for the first time.
Jake just sent this to us.

Speaker 4 Cheer tonight.

Speaker 1 His numbers are outstanding.

Speaker 1 252 yards.

Speaker 4 Mike Florest, you heard?

Speaker 1 Mike Florest. Mike Florest.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson was nice enough to step by with Lisa Soldier.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's that, in a way, that's good for Mike.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like

Speaker 4 getting into a public beef with Lamar Jackson, like congratulations, Mike. Although

Speaker 4 at what cost, now your nickname is just Mike Florest.

Speaker 4 That's still good for the brand, I'd say.

Speaker 8 I think he also went on a rant after the game and the post-game presser about him.

Speaker 1 Love it. Wait, what did Mike Florio say about

Speaker 4 the Niners were going to kick the shit out of him? Wait.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Ravens. The Ravens also went after Mike Florio with their social media team.
As long as the key players are healthy, they're going to kick the shit out of everybody they face.

Speaker 1 The quest is for second place. That's it.
As long as those people stay healthy, they're currently healthy. The 49ers kick the sh out of the Ravens on Monday night.

Speaker 1 And then they put all the clips.

Speaker 1 Oh, Mikey, Mike.

Speaker 4 I want to laugh real hard at that, but everything Mike Florest said right there was virtually identical to what I said on the show.

Speaker 4 Should we call him?

Speaker 1 Do you think he's still up? No chance. Oh, yeah, he's up.

Speaker 4 I think so.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's call him.

Speaker 1 I kind of want to do the Ravel thing and hang up on him.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to because I love him. Hello.
We're taping part of my take right now. Do you have a comment?

Speaker 1 Sorry. We're live to tape on part of my take.
We now have an exclusive with Mike Florest.

Speaker 1 Hello, gentlemen. How are you? Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

Speaker 4 What is your Christmas, Mike?

Speaker 1 What is my comment?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mike Florest.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 look, I was wrong. I was wrong.
I hung up on him.

Speaker 1 I feel bad.

Speaker 1 Should I call him back? I feel bad.

Speaker 4 You hear it. I'll call him back.
Just tell him

Speaker 1 my phone died. We'll go good cup, bad cup.

Speaker 1 My phone died.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. I just can't.

Speaker 1 I want to call Ravel again.

Speaker 1 Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Congratulate him on Northwestern's win.

Speaker 4 Hello. Hey, Mike, sorry about that.
Big cat's phone died. So I wanted to call you back.
Now,

Speaker 4 you said that

Speaker 4 the Ravens were going to get the shit kicked out of them

Speaker 4 on Monday night on Christmas Day. And then the Ravens social media, and more notably Lamar Jackson, called you Mike Florest.
Do you have a comment about the nickname?

Speaker 1 I don't have any problem with it. I've been called worse.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Big skin. I like that.
Hang up on him. All right.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, look, look, I thought the 49ers were the best team by far. And it would have been anybody on Christmas night.
Look at what they did to the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Look at what they did to the Eagles. Look at what they've done since coming out of their bio week.
You look at the scores of the games. They've dismantled everybody.

Speaker 1 I thought on Christmas night, Ravens flying across the country. All right.
That was my chorus.

Speaker 4 Buy Mike's book all the way home.

Speaker 1 I actually started reading it. It's very good.

Speaker 1 Hello. Hey, PFT lost you.
I think his phone died.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 1 We love you, Mike. That's fine.
Mike, we love you. And more also, we just plugged your book.
I started reading it.

Speaker 1 How far did you get? Page one? No, I'm a chapter in.

Speaker 1 Okay, keep going. All right.
Yes, you told me. Chapter two, throw it away.
Yeah, I told you. Chapter, chapter two, throw it away.
All right, so where can people buy it?

Speaker 1 Amazon.

Speaker 1 No, I'll call back one more time. Just tell him, Amazon Doc.

Speaker 1 Call him one more time.

Speaker 1 He's going to be so weird.

Speaker 1 You know, watch fuck both.

Speaker 4 What's the website that they can buy it at, Mike? Stop, stop.

Speaker 1 I'm not. I'm not.
I'm done. Okay, I love you, Mike.
I love you, Mike. I gotta go.
My phone's about to die. Pickett loves you too.
Bye. Bye.

Speaker 4 Speaking of Christmas gifts, did you get your Schefter gift?

Speaker 1 Oh, did I? What was it?

Speaker 4 I got mine on Friday. It arrived, and I have a very important question for you about it.

Speaker 1 Wait, I do have a big box. It was a big box.

Speaker 4 It was a big box. Schefter's got a huge box.

Speaker 1 Okay, I do have it.

Speaker 4 I got in Schefter's box, and I need to know what yours says on it because

Speaker 4 he sent a very nice cashmere blanket. It's super soft.

Speaker 1 hold on let me go get it

Speaker 1 okay so

Speaker 4 while you're while you're away i'll explain what my question is going to be um i opened it up it's a great blanket but it's got a giant s on it so i think that there's a good chance that that sheter sent out a gift to everybody of a big blanket with his initial on it which would be an all-time power move.

Speaker 4 Now, there's maybe he sent me a blanket that had my dead brother's initial on it. So I don't know if that's what if it's that personalized.

Speaker 4 So we'll see if Big Cats has a K for cats or an S for Schefter. I hope that he's just sending out blankets with his last initial on it.

Speaker 1 I'm still laughing about the Florio call.

Speaker 1 I texted him, I said, sorry, sorry, we're dickheads. We can't change, we suck.

Speaker 1 Good way to sum us up, right?

Speaker 1 Like, there's nothing I can do. I'm 38 years into this, I can't change the fact that hanging up on someone when you call them is funny.
It's sorry, so yeah,

Speaker 4 I need to know if your blanket has a giant S on it.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 1 Monogram for Schefter?

Speaker 4 That's what I'm thinking that he just sent out blankets with his initial on it. No, it's last name.
Here's a K. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, cool.
All right.

Speaker 4 Mine had an S. I thought that it was S for Schefter on mine.
That's very thoughtful. Thank you, Adam.

Speaker 1 That rocks. Yeah.
Also, just a reminder that I just don't open any of my mail. It's been sitting in my front hallway for

Speaker 1 since Thursday.

Speaker 1 I'm the worst.

Speaker 4 I saw it

Speaker 1 an Instagram where some

Speaker 1 a wife got, just went around their house and just wrapped up all the shit that like the husband has lying around and gave it to him. And he, like, he didn't figure it out till halfway through.

Speaker 1 And my wife was like, oh, just I could do this to you. And I was like, you, you could, you, even that, even that you've told me this, you could still do it to me.

Speaker 1 Like on my birthday, you could just give me all the junk in my house.

Speaker 4 And, and the stuff like from the studio.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just

Speaker 1 piles everywhere. That whole closet.
Smells very nice, Shifter.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's finish up. Who's back of the week?

Speaker 4 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Who's back of the week? PFT, we'll start with you.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 it's been a pretty fun week doing a lot of traveling, but it is also the end of the year. And with the end of the year comes the beginning of the new year and new year's resolutions.

Speaker 4 And I just want to remind everybody, I am going to be doing pretty much dry January again this year.

Speaker 4 So you're all welcome to join. Basically, dry January is coming back.
The rules are as follows.

Speaker 4 No drinking unless it's a Friday.

Speaker 4 If there's football on on a Monday, you can also drink on a Saturday and you can have brunch on a Sunday. And then you can have a beer during the week, any night.
But besides that,

Speaker 4 no heavy drinking whatsoever unless, again, maybe there's like a party.

Speaker 4 Also, you get a Monday off, so you can drink that Sunday night and all day on that Monday too. But besides that, I'm trying to get into shape.

Speaker 4 I'm trying to lose some weight, trying to really get healthy before we go out to Vegas for the Super Bowl because I'm sure we're going to be eating and drinking like shit out there.

Speaker 4 So now's the time where you can really grab the bull by the horns and do pretty much dry January with me. It's basically dry January, and

Speaker 4 it's always a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 So the more, the merrier on the bandwagon love it my new year's resolution is um i'm gonna eat more blizzards dairy queen blizzards

Speaker 1 okay i was also gonna drink more water yeah which is one that i say every year yeah but i just i like to do new year's resolutions are to me less about changing yourself for the better and more about just doing the things you like more

Speaker 1 and i like eating blizzards so i'm i'm i'm thinking i'm thinking like 50.

Speaker 4 My uh, my resolution last year, I think, was do everything that I'm already doing except do it harder.

Speaker 1 Ooh, okay.

Speaker 4 So just like turn it up and yeah, turn it up a notch. Yeah, go up.
That's my news resolution this year. I'm just going to turn, I'm just going to turn up a notch.

Speaker 1 That was, um, I saw a very funny tweet. Uh, some guy, let me give him a shout out because it made me laugh.
He said, uh, let's see.

Speaker 1 What is his handle? His hands up blissed. He said, 2019 broke me.
2020 changed me. 2021, I'm on drugs.
2022, I'm on drugs. 2023, I'm on drugs.
2024, I'm locking in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hell yeah. And then had a follow-up saying 2024, I'm still on drugs, but don't get it twisted.
I'm just locking in, too.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, that's everyone's resolutions. We did.

Speaker 4 There's another, there's one more rule for pretty much Tri-January I forgot about. That's if you're on a plane, you can also drink on a plane.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. We did New Year's resolutions on Barcelona Sports Advisors, and

Speaker 1 Jerry's resolution is just Trump 2024.

Speaker 1 His resolution is someone else winning the presidency.

Speaker 1 Got me a good laugh.

Speaker 1 All right. My who's back of the week is, well, I have two.
Stephon Diggs, we didn't talk about it. Devo Alert.
He wore a skirt to the game on Saturday night.

Speaker 1 And then also ESPN put up an Instagram that was like, Stephon Diggs hasn't had a 100-yard game in the last nine games. And he just did the sad face emoji as a comment.
So,

Speaker 1 yeah, Devo Alert. And then my other who's back

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 1 Ben Verlander, our good friend who we've never had on, but we'll have him on sometime.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows here, Ben Verlander, huge Shohei Otani fan, huge Shohei Otani fan. So

Speaker 1 remember when Shohei got hurt, he said he was puking. He was literally sick.

Speaker 1 And he cares a lot about Shohei Otani. Ben Verlander went and did a,

Speaker 1 I think it was a TV hit, but it was put on social media, where he said that Shohei Otani to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers' history. I have no problem saying that.

Speaker 1 It's the most important. It's the biggest.
It's the most impactful.

Speaker 4 PFT. Hand up,

Speaker 4 I have a question.

Speaker 4 Jackie Robinson. Yes.
Which team did he play for? The Dodgers.

Speaker 1 Pretty impactful.

Speaker 4 Okay, I thought so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, impactful.

Speaker 1 The word impactful. Impactful is really just

Speaker 1 the most important, the most impactful.

Speaker 1 The internet dunked on him, which whatever.

Speaker 1 He's just in the moment. He forgot a little history.
No big deal.

Speaker 4 I saw a little video that came out over the weekend.

Speaker 4 So Joe Kelly, his wife said that Shohei could have Joe Kelly's number if he signed with the Dodgers. Shohei embraced a bait.

Speaker 4 Good guy move or sneaky sneaky move bought Joe Kelly's wife a Porsche and just had the Porsche dropped off. he bought another man's wife a Porsche never buy another man's wife a Porsche

Speaker 1 as a man would you let another man park his Porsche in your wife's garage I'll actually go one further never buy your wife a Porsche

Speaker 4 that's also a good thing

Speaker 4 because they can't drive

Speaker 4 I was messed up if you meant it because they can't drive no that's not what I meant

Speaker 1 I was just thinking about something else.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I would never buy another man's wife a Porsche. I'd buy my wife a Porsche.
I would never buy another man's wife.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'd buy another man. Listen,

Speaker 1 if you have $700 million deferred,

Speaker 1 I would

Speaker 4 respectfully buy J-Lo a Porsche.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Now, the real question is...

Speaker 1 Would you let another man buy a Porsche?

Speaker 4 Would you let another man buy your wife a Porsche?

Speaker 1 Yes. 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because I get to drive the Porsche.
Fuck that. Then you just, then you just sell it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're kidding me.

Speaker 4 Thanks for the Porsche. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't, that would, that would not bother me. I just think of us like being on one of those.

Speaker 1 You've seen those clips where I think we were talking about with Jules, where it's like just two dudes like just berating like a, like a line of five women. Just being like, you're, you're worthless.

Speaker 1 Like, we would just be on that podcast. It'd be like, you let someone buy your wife wife Porsche? What the fuck? Like, dude, I don't care.
It's a Porsche. The fuck do I care? That's awesome.

Speaker 1 That's a sick car. I want that.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 my real question is, is Shohei Otani too nice of a guy? That's just such a nice guy move where it's like, does he have that killer instinct? He's thinking about other people all the time.

Speaker 1 But you do pay for the numbers. Matt Barkley.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 told Cam Noon he'd sell it for a million bucks. So yeah,

Speaker 1 I think it's all fair play. I think it's all fair play.

Speaker 4 Max, of course, is pretty sweet. Max, do you just, if you wake up one morning and it's, was it on Christmas? Was this like a Chris, like, because that would totally cuck your own Christmas present?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would. Max, you just texted us 225.
That's how long it is. Tight show.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Memes asked me how long it was going, and I accidentally said it to the wrong group.

Speaker 1 That is a fact.

Speaker 1 225.

Speaker 1 Wait, this is a history show.

Speaker 4 Yeah, history of part of my take producers that have done that.

Speaker 1 That's not me. This is a tight show.
I feel like we've been pretty tight. Look, PFT and I like to talk ball.

Speaker 1 We always joke about it, but like, if you told us tomorrow we weren't doing this job anymore, I would on Sunday would come by and I'd be like, PFT, you want to come over and just we'll watch football and just talk ball.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what we would do.

Speaker 1 We just happen to be doing this phones.

Speaker 4 This is this is honestly the best part of our week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we would do this exact same thing if you took the job away. Um, okay, Max, finish this off.
Who's back?

Speaker 1 NBA being irrelevant.

Speaker 1 Good one, okay.

Speaker 1 Don't

Speaker 1 Max, go on. Did you guys see LeBron almost died today?

Speaker 4 I saw that. Yeah, he looked.
Did he get his leg amputated?

Speaker 1 That was such classic LeBron. He had like the whole training staff out there.
He kneed Jalen Brown in the butt and then looked like he was never going to walk again.

Speaker 1 And he missed 30 seconds of the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he.

Speaker 4 He looked like Barbaro before they shot him.

Speaker 8 There was also that review where they called a foul on him, and they reviewed it, and they were like, just to be clear, it was a clean block on LeBron, but he was still foul.

Speaker 1 But someone else fouled him on the body.

Speaker 4 No, I think what the ref said, because it was very funny the way he said it, he goes,

Speaker 4 it was a nice block by LeBron.

Speaker 1 He made sure to compliment LeBron before calling the foul.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the NBA's gotten cucked by the NFL. Sorry.
We're going to have our preview soon. As soon as the NFL's over, we'll have our NBA preview.
Sorry. I like the NBA.
I like the NFL more.

Speaker 1 I've watched every NBA game today. I'm watching the Suns Mavs right now.
KD is apparently not happy with the Suns.

Speaker 1 It's shocking news.

Speaker 4 He should get traded.

Speaker 1 He probably should demand a trade.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, thank you, everyone who tuned in.

Speaker 1 Tight show. We have lottery ball.

Speaker 1 We've taped all the lottery balls so we have that and then we will see everyone on friday so friday will be our next show and we'll do a preview uh that will be zoom as well but then we will be back in studio for the college football playoffs on monday night on january 1st so um yeah thanks everyone for tuning in i don't know why i'm talking like this i want to call florio again so bad love you guys

Speaker 1 i did to love you guys bonus love you guys i want to call him so bad right now okay we're back in the studio for the numbers numbers 40.

Speaker 10 8.

Speaker 1 71. 18.
20. 3.

Speaker 1 28. Pug.

Speaker 1 Love that out of you, pug.

Speaker 1 Love that out of you, Pug. I am Pug.

Speaker 1 93.

Speaker 1 93.

Speaker 4 We stick at this.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm good at it until Crybaby Max showed up.

Speaker 4 I'm good at it. Hank's good at it.

Speaker 8 You two are good at it.

Speaker 1 Crybaby Max.

Speaker 1 Bitch.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Talking away.

Speaker 4 I don't know what

Speaker 4 I'm about to say or take it anyway.

Speaker 4 Today is a Monday to finally

Speaker 4 shine away.

Speaker 4 I've been coming for your love of please.

Speaker 4 Shine it away.

Speaker 4 I've been coming for your love of please.

Speaker 4 Needless to say

Speaker 4 I want to sing it. It's about me, stoning.

Speaker 4 Surely learning the bikes I've been

Speaker 4 gone.

Speaker 4 Things that I say

Speaker 4 is in my heart.

Speaker 4 Just play my worry away.

Speaker 4 You're all the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 4 You can shine on.

Speaker 4 All the coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 You can shine away.

Speaker 4 We'll all be coming for you to win it light.

Speaker 4 Stay

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take on me.

Speaker 4 Take on me.

Speaker 4 Take on me. I'm going to

Speaker 4 take a