Stavros Halkias, 1 Question With Jayden Daniels, Tommy Devito Is Sweeping The Nation + Guys On Chicks

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have an awesome show for everyone. We have our good friend Stavi Babe Stavros Halkius in studio talking about his new special, talking about the NFL.

Speaker 1 Talking about everything.

Speaker 1 Flacco, great, great interview with Stav. We also have one question with a quarterback, the quarterback that just won the Heisman Trophy, Jaden Daniels.
So shout out our guy, Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk Monday night football, Giants, Titans, Shohei, Hot Seat, Cool Throne, guys on Chicks. It's a great, great Wednesday.

Speaker 3 When cool, Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold Buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 5 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elaine Trick Avenue. It's part of my take.

Speaker 5 Presented by Marshal Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, December 13th,

Speaker 1 and Tommy DeVito has taken the world by storm. Hey!

Speaker 1 Hey, Paisal. Hey, him and his agent,

Speaker 1 who was straight out of central casting with the hat, his dad kissing everyone. The Giants beat the Packers.
What a night.

Speaker 5 He's the second quarterback, I think, who went undrafted to win three games in his rookie season. And three in a row.
And three in a row. And it's wild.

Speaker 1 He's playing really good. He's playing.

Speaker 5 And he's fun. That's the thing, is like, he's actually a very entertaining quarterback to watch.

Speaker 1 He's a very fun quarterback to watch.

Speaker 1 Our friend Kevin Clarks put it perfectly. I saw last night when Tommy DeVito Mania was happening.
And we will talk about the other game.

Speaker 1 He said, every other sport is absolutely desperate to generate stars, and the NFL is like, the Giants have an Italian guy, and it's a national story.

Speaker 1 Well, that's it.

Speaker 5 Perfect place for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, how can we get Mike Trout more visible to the nations?

Speaker 1 Or the NFL is just like, hey, this guy likes cutlets and his dad kisses people. He's taking the world by storm.

Speaker 5 It's like the, what if Michael Vick was white? What if Mike Trout was Italian? Yeah. He would be a megastar.
Can you imagine?

Speaker 5 With the Tommy DeVito thing, if you took this script to Hollywood, big cat, what would they say?

Speaker 5 They would throw you out. They'd say, Bing Kingsley passed, but we saw Lindsey Lohan.
What a piece of ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it also is perfect because stereotypes usually are frowned upon in 2023. Italians are the one people that you can stereotype, and it's somehow fun and funny.

Speaker 1 That's true. Max, I'm an Italian father.
I'm a proud Italian father. My children are all Italian.
What are you saying? I can't say it? No, you can say whatever you want. You're an Italian father.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'd say I'm not in the family, but I'm like a concigliary for them.
I'm Tom Hagen here.

Speaker 5 You can do Polish too.

Speaker 1 Polish, yeah, but Polish still plays. They're a little upset.
Well, they maybe not smart enough to get upset.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they don't get the jokes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. But Italians, for some reason, it's just like you can always just have fun with Italians because it's this weird blend of like kind of making jokes, but it's also just the pride.

Speaker 1 Like Italians, like, yeah, we're prideful people. We eat cutlets, we throw touchdowns.
Sunday dinner. Sunday dinner.
We kiss, we kiss our dudes.

Speaker 5 I also think it's that like Italians are also probably the most uh like that towards every other culture correct so it's like okay they'll they'll take it back it's also true right like it's also true italians they make jokes they bust balls we're just busting balls yeah we're having fun with the guys as a one percent sicilian i give people permission to make fun of tommy devito a little sunday gravy and bust some balls it feels good but it's in a good way it's in a loving way like tommy devito has given us a gift this year.

Speaker 5 Yes. He has made the New York Giants entertaining in a year where they have no business being entertaining and you're rooting for him.

Speaker 5 Dayball told him before that final drive, just go out there and rip that son of a bitch. I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 5 I love it.

Speaker 5 It's a great story. It's perfect that it's happening in New York.

Speaker 1 And it's also, Brian Daybull deserves a lot of credit because he, I don't think he was ever going to get fired, but there was a world where the Giants season was trending in such a disastrous way that the question was being asked, like,

Speaker 1 this is a joke. They went to the playoffs last year.
Are they going to end up with two wins? Are they going to look this non-competitive in games? What he's done with Tommy DeVito, I mean,

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones, it would be a real shame if Daniel Jones, you know, slipped and fell, ended up in the marshes.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm saying. Or at least

Speaker 5 Tommy DeVito around the holidays, you know how they always get the local quarterback to hand out turkeys and shit? Yeah. Out of the back of a semi-truck?

Speaker 5 What if he was just handing out VCRs, televisions out of the back of a truck, and come by, swing by the parking lot outside the mall? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, the family handed out cutlets at their family table game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a whole thing, and their family is so funny.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say it's not as it's not 0% chance that someone puts a horse head in Daniel Jones' bed. Could happen.
It's not zero. It's not.
It definitely is not zero.

Speaker 1 I think it's like maybe 1%, but it's not zero. Yeah.
I think he'd rather be. Or send him like a fish in the mail.

Speaker 6 Like, he'd rather the team lose every game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, Tommy DeVito is like he's captured their...

Speaker 1 And he's captured the hearts and minds of the entire tri-state area.

Speaker 1 Any Italian, yeah. Any Italian.
He's their hero.

Speaker 5 If Daniel Jones just had a more ethnic-sounding name, I don't think that there would be this much uproar over Tommy DeVito because it's like we got our guy coming back.

Speaker 5 But now you got a guy named Daniel Jones that looks like...

Speaker 1 Went to Duke. Yeah, it's like Ellis Island versus the Mayflower.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he looks like a white-collar criminal, right? As opposed to the guys that take from those guys. Yeah, right.
Tommy DeVito is Robin Hood in this situation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Daniel Jones should just be like, can I be your lawyer, Tommy DeVito? Yeah. Like,

Speaker 1 that's my future. But yeah, it was a very fun game.
The Giants, it was also just this whole weekend in football was such a good reminder that even at the end of the season, teams are still trying.

Speaker 1 Tanking doesn't really exist unless you're the Carolina Panthers because the Packers went from Sunday night, Chiefs, huge win. Oh, my God, look how good they are.

Speaker 1 I was saying it to a complete like fall on their face. Jordan Love did not look good.

Speaker 1 Their defense did not get a sack on Tommy DeVito, I believe, which the Giants' offensive line is like, I mean, Justin Pugh was on the couch a month ago, and they didn't get a sack.

Speaker 1 And now the Packers are looking like, oh shit, maybe we read the press clippings a little bit. Maybe we got a little ahead of ourselves.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Last night was also like a stroke of genius from Roger Goodell that he's going to think that he did a great job because we had two Monday night football games, which absolutely snuck up on America.

Speaker 5 Yep. We're like, wait, why are we doing these two games at the exact same time this week? That doesn't make any sense.
And they were awesome games. The endings to these games were incredible.

Speaker 1 They both could have been fine on their own.

Speaker 5 They would have been fine on their own. So people are going to be talking all week about what a great Monday night we had.
And Goodell is going to be like, yep, I did it again.

Speaker 5 Now we're going to do two Monday night football games every week.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with that. That's the future.

Speaker 5 I'm fine with that. In the future, I'm calling it in the future.
It might not be next year. It might not be the year after.
Goodell's going to want to try to get two Monday night football games.

Speaker 1 And it's...

Speaker 5 I don't know if it's a good idea. In fact, I think it might not be a great idea, but the fact that these two games were so good, it's going to make him think like this was the best idea of all time.

Speaker 1 I would be in favor of it if they did a little bit of a stagger. Stagger it.
Stagger it. Even an hour.
Yes. Even an hour, because then it just gives us an extra hour of football to end the weekend.

Speaker 5 And let's be honest, even if it was just back-to-back games, I would watch that. Oh, yeah.
Give me five more hours of football.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if one ends at one in the morning, fine. Easy.
I'll stay up.

Speaker 5 I moved an hour west just for this exact scenario. Yes.

Speaker 8 That was the Sergio Dip game.

Speaker 1 Yes. Late Monday game.

Speaker 1 That was 9-11. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Sean McDermott tried to warn us about Sergio Dip. He did.

Speaker 1 The Packers are still in the playoffs as of right now, but that was definitely like they could have seized everything with the fact that the Lions lost and, you know, the Seahawks keep losing.

Speaker 1 They could have put themselves in a really nice spot, and now they're like, now they got to win. Now they got to, it's hard to win out.

Speaker 1 It's, and they don't have to win out, but they have to, they can't drop two more now.

Speaker 5 Is it a big, big week for the Bears, too? I mean, the Bears might

Speaker 1 get a little, I'm, I've, I've thought about it. Uh,

Speaker 1 they, it's one game at a time. They have to beat the Browns.

Speaker 1 If they don't beat the Browns, then it's just like, this is all, this is all, but if they beat the Browns, then I'm going to start thinking about playoffs. That's smart.

Speaker 1 But it has to, you have to get through that hurdle, and the Browns are really good to get to a point where I can start realistically. Like, I'm having fun with the In the Hunt.

Speaker 1 I'm not actually thinking playoffs right now. They have to beat the Browns to think playoffs.

Speaker 5 In the hunt, though, you are in the perfect scenario where you can root for being in the hunt.

Speaker 5 Like we were talking about the other week with In the Hunt being such a powerful narcotic, if you're a fan of one of those teams, because it gives you the illusion that you're good when you're actually just wasting your time and you get a worse pick.

Speaker 5 But with the Panthers being such dog shit, you can enjoy all the fruits of being in the hunts.

Speaker 1 You get them both.

Speaker 5 And you get both. It's the best of both worlds.

Speaker 1 Credit to Matt LaFleur, by the way. He did kick a field goal down eight.
It was fourth and ten, though. That was smart.
But he also,

Speaker 1 it felt like they were going to not kick a field goal when they were down five, which I was nervous that he might try to kick another field goal.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he was going to three him to death.

Speaker 1 And then Tommy DeVito just going down the field. Like the Packers' defense completely.

Speaker 1 Jordan Love didn't play good, but the Packers' defense, not getting a sack and also letting Tommy DeVito go down the field like that.

Speaker 5 I'm so glad that it happened, too, because if it weren't for the Giants.

Speaker 6 I wish I was an Italian, so I get mad at you for how you're talking down about Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 1 I know I'm talking down about Tommy. I said Tommy DeVito took, it was a legacy drive.

Speaker 5 Tommy DeVito is one of the most fun stories in the NFL.

Speaker 1 You should let Tommy DeVito drive it down like that. Yeah, the Packers' defense should, like, they should be better than that.
Yeah, no, they should be upset.

Speaker 6 I'm not Italian, so I'm not upset. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm sorry we're over here making inarticulate Italian noises, but we're just rooting for the guy because he's a fun story, Hank.

Speaker 1 He's very fun. Are you saying that I should be upset? No.
No.

Speaker 5 Hey, Max always makes inarticulate Italian noises.

Speaker 1 You've got two dates with Tommy DeVito. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You're a little bit worried about that?

Speaker 1 I would like them to lose next week. And the Eagles, you would like to get the next one.
I want the Eagles to lose next week?

Speaker 10 No, I would like the Giants to lose next week before we play.

Speaker 1 You admit the Eagles are frauds.

Speaker 1 No, the computer said no. Are the Eagles frauds? Are the Eagles frauds?

Speaker 10 No. Why are you asking me this? No, the Eagles are not frauds.

Speaker 1 Are the Eagles frauds?

Speaker 11 Why are you asking me the same question?

Speaker 1 Wait, I can't. You cut out for a second.
Are the Eagles frauds? Yes!

Speaker 1 Like, you guys set this whole thing up. Sully told me he was doing this.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, though, there's a correct in there, I think, too.

Speaker 5 Wait, Max, I thought that you said that the Eagles were good.

Speaker 1 They are good. Wait, Max, I thought you said, wait, Max.

Speaker 5 I thought you said that the Eagles were good.

Speaker 1 This is the worst soundboard. Correct.
Yeah, he has.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 is supposed to.

Speaker 5 He's supposed to play the wrong one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Wait, Max, I thought you said that the Eagles were good.

Speaker 1 Wrong. Wrong.

Speaker 1 This is fake. This is AI.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Memes might be the worst soundboard operator of all time.
He's like, he's looking at it like he's an 80-year-old guy trying to type an email.

Speaker 5 I really do think that's one thing the studio needs. I know SVP has it.
It's the board that's right here that me and Big Cat can just press to get whatever sound effect we want.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 great one for me. You guys just did this whole elaborate plan to like try and sneak this behind me, and I knew it was going on the entire time.
No, no, there really wasn't an elaborate plan.

Speaker 1 We just, we don't execute plans well. It was like, hey, let's make a soundboard.
If it's only tried to make a soundboard, memes can't, you operate a computer.

Speaker 1 Give us one.

Speaker 1 Just a random one.

Speaker 1 Your favorite. This could be such a bad night for me, and you guys just want it to be so much worse.

Speaker 5 All right, so we got the max soundboard now i also want to put hank's yawn on the soundboard yes

Speaker 1 just play it as loud as possible uh the other game you hate our listeners the other game no i love our listeners playing my yawns for the listeners is is that's you hate them i've gone so far into my hatred of your yawns that i love them now

Speaker 1 we did it one time remember on the podcast i yawn i was like let it out and everyone was disgusted feeling this angry it is disgusting um oh last thing tommy devito's agent we're gonna have to get him on the show stiletto yeah he's

Speaker 1 And I think Eli might have called him slimy, and then

Speaker 1 he went on New York radio today and was very upset about it.

Speaker 5 I like that he's playing into it, though. He's a smart guy.

Speaker 5 Like, if you have lightning in a bottle like this, you have to lean into everything, lean into the discussion that's already happening and gas your guy up.

Speaker 5 He got dressed up last night specifically because he knew it was going to create a stir.

Speaker 1 That's the old with the phone.

Speaker 5 That's a good agent. Everything.
That's a great agent right there.

Speaker 1 He looked great. It was, yeah.
It was a very, very fun game. Tommy DeVito, hero, Italian-American hero.
He is surpassed.

Speaker 1 When we said when he first came in, you know, what it was, a month ago, and he didn't look good.

Speaker 1 And we're like, someday he's going to be able to, you know, coach gym class and have that jersey behind him. Now I think he's like, we're talking dealer, like

Speaker 1 car dealership. We're talking paid appearances.

Speaker 4 Use car.

Speaker 1 Used car dealership, paid appearances. We're talking cameo millionaire.
Like, he's, and, and on top of all that, he might just be in the NFL for a long time.

Speaker 5 He's going to be in some movies, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tommy DeVito.
Tommy DeVito. What a story.
So, yeah, the other game, the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 What a collapse. So,

Speaker 1 first of all, credit to Will Levis. He looked awesome.
He drove. So the game with Will Levis, they were down two touchdowns with 434 left.
I think we all thought that that was it.

Speaker 1 The Titans kind of fell apart there with all the fumbles and muff punts and everything. And then he drives him down in two consecutive drives for touchdowns.
Mike Frabel, analytics guy, going for two.

Speaker 1 But the Dolphins, I know they have injuries, a lot of offensive line injuries. Tyree Kill getting injured.
That was really bad for the Dolphins.

Speaker 5 It was a bad, bad ending.

Speaker 1 In their offense,

Speaker 1 I was getting into it a little bit with Dolphins fans last night because they are very sensitive about Tua, which I understand. I do consider myself part of Tuanon.

Speaker 1 Saying Tyree Kill is the MVP does not diminish Tua. I think Tua is a very good quarterback.

Speaker 1 When Tyree Kill is on the field, he doesn't even have to catch the ball, what he's able to do to bend the defense.

Speaker 1 Like when he came back that first time, I don't know if he caught a ball ball in that first drive, but everyone was open because everyone's got to worry about where he is on the field.

Speaker 5 The fastest kid alive.

Speaker 1 And everything else just becomes easier. So

Speaker 1 he looked to me like he's the most important player on the Dolphins and he probably should be considered MVP.

Speaker 5 Well, sports writers are dumb. They're very dumb people.
Like they see a big round number like 2,000 and they will vote for him for the MVP. Right.
He gets a 2,000 yards. But they're dumb.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Right? Like if he gets nine, if he gets 1,965 yards, probably not going to be MVP. But when they see that number two, they're going to be like, wow, never been done before.
Tyreek Hill, MVP. Yes.

Speaker 5 But yeah, when you saw him go out last night, it definitely affects the entire offense. It affects their big play capability.

Speaker 5 Like, even Waddle couldn't get big plays with Tyreek Hill out of the game because he creates so much space for Waddle to run through.

Speaker 1 Alec Ingold had a great hurdle, though.

Speaker 5 But we've talked to Alec about that. He's a listener of the show.
He's on the low man committee. Alec, God gave you the ability to get low on people for a reason.

Speaker 5 You don't need to be jumping over them. Yes.
You're going to look at me move from the fullback.

Speaker 1 I do like Tua. I think he's a very good quarterback.
I also think that he might lead the league in hospital passes. Yep.
He had a few last night. I mean, the Jalen Waddell one.

Speaker 1 That was like the first pass of the game. First pass of the game.

Speaker 1 He had another one, I think, to A-Chain where the ball just stayed in the air for so long that the linebacker almost got there before the ball got there.

Speaker 5 It's because of how their offense is set up where they've got so many

Speaker 1 crossers.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And Tua throws throws the ball before they even make the breaks.
I know.

Speaker 5 If you have one defender that makes an early cut on something, even if it's like a blown coverage that accidentally works out well for the defense, you're going to get some dude just going head-to-head against your receiver across the middle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 that was a really bad loss for the Titans.

Speaker 1 Or sorry, for the Dolphins. They now,

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 The Bills are suddenly alive in the AFC East because there's now the Dolphins are two games ahead, and they have to play

Speaker 1 the Jets, the Cowboys, the Ravens, and the Bills.

Speaker 1 Now, you'd think they beat the Jets, but who knows? Because the Jets have been, you know, they have a score game. Yeah, and their defense, they have the Zach Wilson Spark.

Speaker 1 But let's just say if they lost to the, if they beat the Jets and then lost to the Cowboys and Ravens, and the Bills ran the table, week 18 would be for the AFC East.

Speaker 5 Be amazing.

Speaker 1 And the Bills have the Cowboys this week, which is going to be very tough, but then they get the Chargers without Justin Herbert and the Patriots at home.

Speaker 1 So, so yeah it's all like it happened just like that spoiler it happened just like that where it's like wait hold on a second hank bills alive yeah i hope you win that game spoiler uh you got a couple spoilers coming up i hope chiefs i hope hank just spoils everybody i want the patriots to win a bunch of games down the stretch spoil the shit out of everyone yeah just win everything down the stretch hank dude it was a it was a crazy weekend though because it was basically so nice of you pft you're usually never that no i'm optimistic about the patriots i am i think that it's a great franchise i hope that you know Bill Belichick, one of the best coaches.

Speaker 5 I think Bill still has a realistic opportunity to stick around in New England after the season if he can put a few wins together at the end here. I'm rooting for greatness, Hank.

Speaker 5 That's a great organization. I want you guys to win every last game that you have this year.

Speaker 6 What if your Super Bowl contending commanders end up getting the number two draft pick? Do you think Bill would want to come then?

Speaker 1 I didn't even think about that, but I guess that...

Speaker 5 So if you're Bill Belichick and you've already made up your mind to go to the Commanders, the best thing you can possibly do is to win a bunch of games as a New England Patriots coach this year, give the Commanders a better draft pick.

Speaker 1 That's a good point, Hank.

Speaker 5 It's a really good point. Thank you for bringing that up.
No ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Patriots do have the,

Speaker 1 they're in prime spoiler watch. They have Chiefs, Broncos, Bills, all teams looking for seating, and Broncos and Bills looking to get in the playoffs.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Did you see Tyreek Hill when he got injured on the horse collar tackle?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he was a horse collar drop.

Speaker 1 Hip drop.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was a combo. He hit all the bases on that one.

Speaker 1 Warren Sharp instantly tweeted about it. Got to get this out of the league.

Speaker 5 All of it. Okay, so the hip drop tackle.
Let's talk about the hip drop tackle because I don't know how you're supposed to tackle somebody from behind

Speaker 5 without it being a hip drop tackle.

Speaker 1 It's a dangerous tackle, but I also, it's legal.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's also how you tackle somebody. Right.
Tackling is dangerous. Right.
And when you get tackled from behind, unless you do like a shoestring, grab them around the legs, but then...

Speaker 5 you know, five years down the line, Godell will be like, well, you can't tackle somebody low from behind because we've seen a bunch of leg injuries off that. It's ankle injuries.

Speaker 1 Football's a dangerous sport.

Speaker 5 But the hip drop tackle, okay, I understand horse collar. That is, it's almost like every time somebody gets horse collared, you're like, that guy could be injured.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 There's really no safe way to tackle somebody from behind. Right.
It just doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 And you run into the thing where defenders are now, like, even think about a defensive lineman.

Speaker 1 You can't hit a quarterback in the head or anywhere above the shoulders, and you can't hit them anywhere below the knees.

Speaker 4 Yeah, strike zone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's becoming harder and harder if we ban this tackle, which I don't think they will.

Speaker 5 I don't think they will, but there's enough people out there talking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the the hip drop has become the buzz tackle of like

Speaker 5 it makes you sound like you know what you're talking about when you say oh that's a hip drop technique you're talking technique now like you tackle somebody from behind and then naturally your your body weight brings you down and then that brings them down the most efficient way to tackle someone from behind that's how physics works yes yeah you just you you make yourself a backpack yeah so um but with tyree kills injury He looked like he was really hurt, and then he got up and he did the thing that Kittle does sometimes, where he just tells himself, I'm not injured, actually.

Speaker 5 Yep. And he just sprints it off the the field.
That's how not injured I am. So he texted his wife at halftime.

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 5 His wife gets Football Guy of the Week this week because Tyreek Hill's wife was like,

Speaker 5 you better get your ass back in that game, dog. And he was like, all right, and went back in.

Speaker 1 It's on.

Speaker 5 It's on. So shout out to Tyreek Hill's wife.

Speaker 1 Yes, huge. Football guy of the week for sure.

Speaker 1 Tyreek Hill also, he's definitely in the Big Ben realm of like, and I don't even think he does it on purpose, but it does feel like, I don't know, six times a year, you're like, oh, he's out for the season.

Speaker 5 His body's just, it's just one big muscle. So he gets a lot of those, like, his body revolts against him sometimes.
It's like, dude, you're going too fast. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then he sits out for a few plays and he's like, come on, body, we're doing this. And his body's like, fine.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out Mike Vrabel. That was a classic Vrabel game.
Yeah. He still is one of the best coaches.

Speaker 1 I know the Titans have not had a good year, but you just always have to be worried about a Vrabel game where you just can't count the Titans out ever, no matter who's on the team.

Speaker 1 DeAndre Hopkins

Speaker 1 is great.

Speaker 5 Hopkins is still really good. Yeah.
Just when they can get him the ball, that's the issue.

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe that. Like, imagine the Dolphins going into this game being like, you're going to get a pick six.
You're going to get two fumbles in the red zone. A muff punt.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 counting that as well. Yeah.
So two fumbles basically in the red zone.

Speaker 1 And you're not going to win the game.

Speaker 6 Up 15 with two minutes left and 14. We're going to get the ball back.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's the first time in what, like, seven years that a team has come back from being down 14 with under three minutes left. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Will Levis, dog. Dog.
Dog.

Speaker 5 And did you see the chest bump that he gave on the sidelines after the game?

Speaker 1 He tried to run someone over last night, too.

Speaker 5 He truck sticked him. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was awesome. Okay.

Speaker 7 My fault for raising my hand.

Speaker 1 Yes, that is your fault. Good point, Joe.

Speaker 5 Your Dolphins, are they frauds?

Speaker 7 No, but if they don't beat the Jets, the panic buttons.

Speaker 1 Maybe you got to worry about the Jets instead of trying to worry about how the Broncos' record means that you beat a team over 500. Thought.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that might help. Backfired.
Yeah, that did backfire. We move on.

Speaker 8 Beat the Jets.

Speaker 1 Beat the Jets. Must compete.
Must win. Must win.
Ooh, okay, we got a couple must-wins. Actually, the Bears have a must-win.
We have a lot of must-wins on this show this weekend.

Speaker 5 Patriots have a must-win for me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They do.

Speaker 5 Let's go Pats. I mean, we need a Patriots to play.

Speaker 6 Wait, are you guys mathematically eliminated for the playoffs?

Speaker 1 No, no. Only you.
Patriots and badges.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's right. The Patriots are.
But I, listen, we have most.

Speaker 1 We have most.

Speaker 6 Like, I can root for a tanking because.

Speaker 5 Shut the fuck up for a second. I've already

Speaker 6 made the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. You said that was a possibility.

Speaker 1 You did say Soupy season.

Speaker 5 I said Soupy season if we beat the Bills and the Eagles back-to-back.

Speaker 1 Got it. Yeah.
No, you said one of the two. We beat one of the two.

Speaker 5 One of the two. And we didn't.
News flashed. We lost both.
Supy season. But we've got most of our bases covered in terms of big media successful franchises on this podcast.
We've got Chicago.

Speaker 5 We've got Philly. We've got New York.
We've got some Miami.

Speaker 5 We don't have a Patriots fan on this podcast. We got Dallas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got Dallas. That's huge.

Speaker 5 So I think I have to just take up the mantle and say, you know what? Do your pod.

Speaker 1 I like that, PFT. That's big of you.

Speaker 5 Let's go, Pats. I'm a big lighthouse believer.
That thing is legit.

Speaker 1 Cowboys. You're Cowboys.
You're boys. Cowboys, yeah.
You need to

Speaker 1 buy some more gear. I need to see you in Cowboys gear for the entirety of January.

Speaker 1 It's so funny, too, because AWLs are we have the best fans in the world, but them buying in, just being like, thank you, Hank, for repping our boys. Like, finally.
I think they're serious.

Speaker 1 I got Ernest. I got furnishing.
It means a lot. I'm like, are you fucking serious? Are you going to put a future on them? You should.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to. You might as well right now.
Yeah, do it right now. You might as well.
The boys. How about them boys?

Speaker 1 Okay. Other things clean up.
Patrick Mahomes, as predicted, talked to the media today, or I think he was on a radio show, and he was like, yeah, I overreacted.

Speaker 5 He apologized to the youngsters. Well, you usually don't hear an athlete say that.
That's usually the realm of the guy doing the interview. Like, what about the youngsters at home? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Holmes is like, you know, there's kids watching at homes, and

Speaker 5 I apologize for how I acted in the post-game, especially with Josh.

Speaker 5 Because he did, the second it happened, you knew that he was going to look back on that and be like, that's not a good look for me to be complaining to Josh about a call.

Speaker 5 And also, with the benefit of hindsight, seeing that Kadarius Toney was the most off-sides person in the history of football

Speaker 5 probably made him be like, okay, yeah, maybe Kadarius should have checked with the refs at some point.

Speaker 1 And then there were Chiefs fans trying to say he did check with the refs.

Speaker 1 If you watched the clip, he literally pointed to a ref, and before the ref could even give him anything, any signal back, he just lined up offsides. Oh,

Speaker 1 I spilled water on your

Speaker 1 laptop.

Speaker 5 It's fine. This is a laptop from 2016.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 No problem.

Speaker 5 Just dump it off. I'm just going to let it air dry.

Speaker 6 Yeah, air dry it.

Speaker 7 And it's body armor water.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. You have a spill underneath.
Hold on.

Speaker 1 Give us something to wipe it up.

Speaker 5 Here, I got a shirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, give us a shirt. Yeah, he, I.

Speaker 1 People who say they lost respect for Mahomes or don't like him now are the lamest people in the world. Agreed.

Speaker 1 Because you're basically telling on yourself that you didn't like Mahomes and you were just waiting for something to be like, yeah, that's why I don't like him. Right.
He,

Speaker 1 it was a bad moment for him. He, he looked childish, but it's also a passionate game.
It's guys after a game are always going to say shit that is different than two days later.

Speaker 1 So, and I know there were some Kansas City fans that were saying that PFD, we're not allowed in Kansas City anymore. We're banned.

Speaker 1 Because we're an anti-Chiefs podcast which i don't i think there's just a lot of people who and i understand it fandom is crazy we're fanatics for a reason we're literally psychos uh they they cherry pick whenever we say bad things and don't listen when we say good things so i think we should say a couple good things about kansas city i also think we've been pretty consistent over the last five years saying a lot of really good things mahomes is the best uh quarterback in the nfl fact i think he's the best quarterback to ever play the game wow The Chiefs are always

Speaker 5 my beloved Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 The fucking goat.

Speaker 5 It's disgusting anybody ever mentions him in the same breath as Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs are always live to win the Super Bowl. Even now, with all their issues, I still wouldn't bet against them in January.

Speaker 1 And we were the first podcast to ask, to debate whether the debate would happen about Andy Reid being the GOAT coach. It's true.
We were the first to do it. But yeah, I like Kansas City.

Speaker 1 We went there. George Brett showed us his barbecue place.
It was awesome.

Speaker 5 They don't get enough credit for having awesome uniforms either. Yeah.
Chiefs have just classic unis.

Speaker 1 And Kansas Jayhawk fans are the most passionate. I want to go to Fog Allen at some point.
Is that in,

Speaker 1 are we allowed outside of Kansas City units? Are we allowed in Lawrence? We need a clarification from Kansas City Chiefs fans if we're allowed to be in the state of Kansas or Missouri. Or Missouri.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, preferably Missouri. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the Chiefs are really good.

Speaker 1 They're a really good franchise.

Speaker 5 Travis Kelsey is the second best tight end of all time.

Speaker 5 Behind my beloved Gronk. Gronk, yeah.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs could easily still get the bye, by the way. Yeah.
Oh, easily. Yeah.
Things are falling apart at the top. The Dolphins losing.
The Ravens and Dolphins having to play each other.

Speaker 1 The Ravens having to play the 49ers.

Speaker 5 I wouldn't say easily because I think they have to have a couple teams, have a couple losses, and then they need to kind of run the table.

Speaker 1 But the Ravens and Dolphins play each other.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and it's an easier schedule for the Chiefs.

Speaker 5 But it's a realistic possibility.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be shocked if

Speaker 1 come

Speaker 1 playoff time, we're like, wait, the Chiefs still out of all that,

Speaker 1 it reminds me actually of your beloved Patriots when they were running hot. There was always a point in the season where everyone would be like, They're done.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you look up and be like, Wait, hold on. I love that.
When

Speaker 5 Mark Brunel would get on TV and cry about footballs, when they count us out, be like, oh, is this the end of the dynasty? Because we lost one game and then we're on to Cincinnati.

Speaker 5 It's time to get back to greatness.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, you know what we'll do? Memes, tomorrow, like around 11 o'clock, I want you to tweet a poll from the part of my take Twitter.

Speaker 1 And this is a poll for Kansas City Chiefs fans and people in Kansas and Missouri only

Speaker 1 asking if we're allowed to go to Kansas City ever again. Yeah, the guy was it was kind of funny.
He's like, you come here and like, it sounded like I had to check in with it.

Speaker 5 It's on site.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, hey, is it okay?

Speaker 5 Can't you got to tap in when you go to Kansas City? I would, um, I think I would do the thing where I, if I pressed a button and one of you guys in this room would, uh, I don't want to say die.

Speaker 5 Yeah, die. I would press a button if one of you in this room would die, but it meant that.
This room or that control room.

Speaker 1 The control room.

Speaker 5 Meaning that I would have Patrick Mahomes as my quarterback for the next 10 years.

Speaker 4 I've said I would give a random person.

Speaker 1 I would give multiple toes. I'd give children.
I'd give multiple toes.

Speaker 7 I would sacrifice for EPFT.

Speaker 5 Thanks, Jake. Very cool.
I'll give my firstborn child, Chris. I would give Chris.
I would

Speaker 5 give Chris away to the orphanage for Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 What are you going to say?

Speaker 6 You guys want to get some fun future takes wrong and just predict the playoffs? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like this. Who's in?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Are the Patriots out? This is good.

Speaker 1 This is good.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are playoffs, right?

Speaker 6 I feel like there's as many scenarios. Like, there's like 20 different scenarios.

Speaker 1 Okay, AFC. I'm going to say

Speaker 1 Ravens by.

Speaker 1 Dolphins two-seed. I think they'll be able to win a couple games here.

Speaker 1 Their schedule is tough coming up. Real tough.
Oh, should I do Bills? I think the Bills could win the division.

Speaker 8 I think the Bills are going to win the division.

Speaker 7 The Dolphins fans are going to crush you if you jump off them again.

Speaker 6 I think the Bills are going to win the division.

Speaker 1 What if the Bills got the two seed? They could. They beat the Kansas City Chiefs.
If the Jaguars catch another loss and the Chiefs catch another loss. All right.
I'll go Ravens, Bills, Chiefs.

Speaker 1 I'll go Ravens, Chiefs, Bills, Jaguars, Browns, Dolphins, and Broncos.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 That's my seven in order.

Speaker 5 I'm going to do it. No, Texans?

Speaker 1 No, Bengals? No, No, the Texans. I mean, C.J.
Stroud. No, Bengals.
Yeah, Jake Browning. I forgot Jake Browning.

Speaker 1 Bengals. I'm going to the Broncos.

Speaker 5 I'm going to do it.

Speaker 5 Chiefs, one seed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Ravens, two seed. Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Ravens. Okay.

Speaker 5 Dolphins, three seed. Okay.

Speaker 5 Jacksonville, four. Okay.

Speaker 5 Cleveland, five. Yep.

Speaker 1 This is Chalk City.

Speaker 5 No, I had the Chiefs with one seed.

Speaker 5 Now you made me lose my train of thought.

Speaker 1 Six and seven.

Speaker 5 Six and seven.

Speaker 5 Six, I'm going to go with the Denver Broncos.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 And seven, I'm going to go with the Colts.

Speaker 1 So Bill's out.

Speaker 5 And Bengals out.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. And then the NFC, it's going to be Niners,

Speaker 1 Cowboys.

Speaker 1 What Max?

Speaker 1 You guys all stop.

Speaker 1 There we go, memes. He's getting the jang of it.
Niners, Cowboys, Lions,

Speaker 1 Bucs,

Speaker 1 Vikings, Packers, Eagles.

Speaker 1 Wrong. Wrong.
I don't even think that's possible. I don't even think that's possible.
The Eagles would have to lose out. That would be Cowboys, Eagles, round one.
Oh, 2-7. Make first match.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.

Speaker 6 If they have a Saturday playoff game, can I go?

Speaker 1 Yes. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 And do you have someone you're going to go with? I'm just thinking ahead.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go Niners one seed, Birds, two seed.

Speaker 5 Then I'll go, yeah, Lions, three seed.

Speaker 5 Four seed.

Speaker 5 I'm going to say the Falcons are going to do it. Okay.
Falcons, four seed.

Speaker 5 Cowboys, five.

Speaker 1 And then it's Vikings, Packers, or Rams.

Speaker 5 Vikings, Packers. I'm going to go Rams six.

Speaker 1 And then Packers or Vikings?

Speaker 5 I'm going to go Packers seven.

Speaker 1 I might actually put Bears seven. Will the Eagles be eliminated?

Speaker 5 I'd like to officially revise my AFC take.

Speaker 5 I'm going to put Bills in.

Speaker 5 Love it. I'm going to put Bills in over the Colts.
Okay. And oh, by the way, you know how we're Colts season ticket holders? Yeah.

Speaker 5 I did the auto-renew thing at the time, and I couldn't figure out how to get the auto-renew off. I just bought a second season.

Speaker 1 That's why I did the game by game because I couldn't figure out how to do it either.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so I guess I'm just going to be giving away more Colts tickets next year. Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Anthony Richardson.

Speaker 7 Hey, what do you guys want to do this week? It's a Saturday game.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I want to get two people

Speaker 1 for the boys that look the most like Santa Claus. Okay.
No costume. Like really.
Yeah, just give us bearded, white-bearded guys.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 7 PMTN turn at barstoolsports.com.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can even just send us a picture of Santa Claus. Are you with me?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.

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Speaker 1 Before we get to Hot Sea Cool Throne, Shohei Otani, the deferred deferred man.

Speaker 1 So it came out his seven-year, or sorry, 10-year, $700 million contract is being deferred at the price of $68 million a year is being deferred.

Speaker 1 So he's getting paid $2 million for the next 10 years, every year. And then once the contract is up, he's getting paid $68 million

Speaker 1 every year for the next 10 years.

Speaker 5 That is awesome.

Speaker 5 It's an awesome deal for the Dodgers.

Speaker 5 $68 million a year.

Speaker 5 I saw a lot of people that are upset about the Dodgers doing this type of contract because it violates the spirit of baseball. It's smart.

Speaker 5 If you can find a player that's willing to do this, and also I'm pretty sure Otani, like, he is going to do some sort of tax situation with this. Yes.

Speaker 5 When he's no longer playing for the Dodgers, and he doesn't

Speaker 5 live in California, probably won't live in California anymore at that point. So he's deferring most of it until after, almost all of it, until after he's done.

Speaker 5 Also, the marketing that he's going to get in Los Angeles is going to make up for a lot of that money. So he's good.
Otani's going to be just fine. The Dodgers are secretly rooting for inflation now.

Speaker 1 Yes. So that would be really good for them.
Here's the real story here with this deal.

Speaker 1 It's a genius job by Shohei and his agents

Speaker 1 to have everyone say seven years or 10 years, $700 million. Oh my God, he just broke the bank.
The next biggest one was Aaron Judge, nine years, $360,

Speaker 1 or Mike Trout. I think he did like 12 years, like 350 or 400 or something like that.

Speaker 1 This is a $450 million, $60 million contract because of inflation and interest.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so he basically,

Speaker 1 I bet you that he, when he went around shopping because of the injury,

Speaker 1 every single team that he talked to was probably in the $400, $500 million range. And he was like, well, what if we just do deferment and we make it sound like it's a $700 million contract?

Speaker 5 The way that baseball and the CBA calculates this, they actually have a formula to figure out what deferred payments would look like in terms of today's money.

Speaker 5 I think his contract is for about $46 million a year.

Speaker 1 On the luxury taxes.

Speaker 5 Using that proprietary formula. Yeah.
So when you take into account all the money he's going to earn, it's like if you gave him $46 million a year today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's $400,

Speaker 1 and that's the genius part because when we see the contract come out and everyone flips out and they're like, but Aaron Judd just signed for nine years $360 million.

Speaker 1 Well, if you actually think about it, this is a natural progression of contracts. Shohei Otani signed for 10 years, 460 million.
That's a natural progression from Aaron Judge's nine for 360. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think that he honestly was like everyone who was negotiating with Shohei Otani was probably in the 400-ish range with no deferments and maybe 500 with a few deferments.

Speaker 1 And then they're like, hey, what if we do 700 million with all deferments?

Speaker 5 It was his idea to do this. It's this deferment.

Speaker 1 But it's genius because it sounds like he just broke the mold of baseball and all contracts. And you could say $700 million, that's insane.
But that's not the value of the contract.

Speaker 1 The value of the contract is somewhere in the 400s. Yeah, he

Speaker 5 is. I think it's a win-win for both of them.

Speaker 1 No, I do too.

Speaker 5 The Dodgers are pretty happy about this.

Speaker 1 It was just very funny because, and I did it too. I was like, what the fuck? He just doubled Aaron Judge's contract? No, he didn't.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's good for the Dodgers because the world might not even exist in 15 years, in which case they don't have to pay him that. Yes.
The sun could engulf the entire planet.

Speaker 1 It also made, it also weirdly

Speaker 1 helped out all the other teams' fan bases when the $700 million gets reported, because I know I personally was like, well, the Cubs would never have spent that. So I felt good for a little bit.

Speaker 1 And then when you actually see the actual value, you're like, oh, the Cubs maybe could have offered that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we just got outspent.

Speaker 1 We can't, we can't get with the big market. Right.
It was a, it's a $460 million deal.

Speaker 5 What would it have been in Canadian dollars if you sent one of the Blue Jays?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 5 The only thing I know about Canadian dollars is when I look at the back of a book and it shows the two prices on there, and it's always Canada's a little bit more.

Speaker 5 He probably would have gotten a billion Canadian dollars.

Speaker 1 He just did, Shohei just did what the NFL does for all their contracts. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When the agents get to announce that a quarterback signs for, you know, five years, $200 million, and then you look at it and you're like, hmm, there's only $60 million guaranteed and they can cut him after two years.

Speaker 1 He just did that for MLB where they can't cut him. There's no salary cap, but they can essentially say, yeah, the value of this contract is not even close to $700 million.

Speaker 5 I could see DeVito's agent being like, yeah, we did the first billion-dollar deal in the history of football. Right.

Speaker 5 It's like the first two years, you get $4 million, and then after that, you can get cut. Yeah.
And then, okay, yeah. But we did a billion-dollar deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do like a 100-year land lease. We got a million dollars a year.

Speaker 5 7,000 boxes of ZD, five sauces.

Speaker 1 It would be $10 million a year, but yeah, yeah. And I don't understand numbers or interest or inflation or anything.

Speaker 5 I know, that's way above my pay grade. I do understand.
Well, I tried to understand the Dodgers tweet about it last night when they made it official. Yeah.
You see the Dodgers tweet?

Speaker 5 No, it was four images that were each like 500 words. Nobody read the entire thing.

Speaker 7 Is it like a mega notes app?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was like a novel. They put out a novel just basically saying, we signed Shohei Otani.

Speaker 5 I would like to know if anybody out there actually read the entire thing. No chip.
It was the actual real life.

Speaker 5 I ain't reading all that, but I'm sorry. Or congrats, bro.
Congrats that happened to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Breaking news.

Speaker 6 Well, it's not news officially. It's just breaking moves, I guess.
Tuesday night, 9 o'clock.

Speaker 6 Big Hat has requested I come back on the air by myself to talk about the rumors

Speaker 6 that Bill Belichick is going to leave the Patriots at the end of the season. Max is laughing at me right now.
I'm sitting here alone.

Speaker 6 A report came out. It's not official.
It was not a team

Speaker 6 document or announcement. So as of right now, it's just a report.

Speaker 6 tom current who is not he's not a fan fictionist he's he's real news good reporter said that at the end of the year the patriots and belichek are probably going to part ways it happened after the germany game

Speaker 6 and then big cat was like you need to get on the air and do two minutes like i'm i'm stand-up which i guess is good practice because i have to do 60 minutes coming up but

Speaker 6 I'm just going to go with the fact that it's a report and it's not true. It might be fake news.
I'm hoping it's fake. I'm in the denial stage right now.
I don't want it to be true.

Speaker 6 That would, you know, force a lot of emotions to come over me that I'm not ready to accept at this very moment.

Speaker 6 And I'm talking into a microphone by myself right now. I don't even know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 6 that's my take. I don't, it's tough because I wanted, I saw the tweets and stuff.

Speaker 6 People were sending me the tweet, big cat, PFT, Jake, being like, oh, look at this, look at this, Green Light Podcast, who took down a tweet and then put it back up saying it was a report, which was interesting because if it was official, you'd think they would just leave up the original tweet.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 6 Justin Trudell from the Kirk Minahan Show tweeted that he had inside sources saying it was fake. So I'm just going with that.

Speaker 6 That was a tweet I'd like to see and was like, yes, this is now we got Kirk Minahan show versus

Speaker 6 Greenlight podcast going for, going for the news break.

Speaker 6 But then I read the actual report and

Speaker 6 there was rumors before the Germany game that if they lost, he was going to be on his way out.

Speaker 6 So the fact that the report said it kind of happened after the Germany game made it seem like it made sense, which is, again, I don't want to accept that reality. So I'm not going to.

Speaker 6 This is my two minutes saying that we're just going to wait to see what happens.

Speaker 6 Sad day, bad day.

Speaker 6 I've never podcasted alone, and I hope I never have to again.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's do some hot seat cool thrown.
And then we've got Stav and Jaden Daniels coming up.

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Speaker 1 Hank, your hot seat cool throw.

Speaker 6 My hot seat's the Detroit Pistons.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 They've lost 20 straight games.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's the record?

Speaker 6 They're 2-21. The Wizards are better than them in the standings.

Speaker 5 Yeah, which is saying the Wizards got beat by 45 last night by the 76ers.

Speaker 6 Yeah, the Wizards are 3-19, but the Pistons, I feel like it's kind of going a little bit under the radar.

Speaker 1 Like, 20 losses in a row is all 20 losses in a row is insane. Well, it's actually crazy because the Pistons have 20 losses in a row, and I'm pretty sure the Spurs have 17 losses in a row.

Speaker 1 Like, both of these, and then the Wizards also have a ton of losses in a row. Like, there's some real, oh, yeah, actually, here it is.

Speaker 1 The Spurs have 17 losses in a row. The Pistons have 20 losses in a row.
And I'm pretty sure that the Wizards have won one game in the last,

Speaker 1 let's see, eight.

Speaker 5 It's been a while.

Speaker 1 They're one in 14. In their last 15, their one win, the Detroit Pistons.
I love that. So it's like the worst three teams.
It's insane. So those teams combined are like one in 55 or something.
Crazy.

Speaker 5 Do you know what the record losing streak is in the NBA? What is it? Well,

Speaker 5 you can look at it one or two. 28.
Well, yeah, one is 24, and that's for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Speaker 5 But then eventually, over the parts of two different seasons, it was the 76ers.

Speaker 1 Oh, 24. Because remember, also,

Speaker 1 I'm surprised.

Speaker 5 They got a great draft pick out of that.

Speaker 1 Remember the Bobcats one year won seven games? Yeah. That was crazy.
But yeah, the Pistons. How do you...

Speaker 1 That's crazy. 20 in a row.

Speaker 6 20 in a row. So I'm in the all-star break.

Speaker 1 20 in a row is definitely like, if you get over 15 in a row, it's fire everyone. You can't do 20 in a row.
No. You have to fire everyone.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you can legally fire everyone, but like I'm saying, cut everyone, fire everyone, do everything. 20 in a row.

Speaker 1 That's bad.

Speaker 6 Real bad.

Speaker 6 And then my cool throwing was going to be the Dodgers. PFT kind of touched on it.
Like that. That's the greatest deal of all time.
Money's never going to matter. Like the world's going to end.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 They're going to have paid him like $20 million.

Speaker 1 The big one.

Speaker 5 California might be in the middle of the the ocean.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can pass. I guess my other cool throwing, Paul Pierce is keeping up the hate.

Speaker 6 I respect it. He was on him and KG's show, and he said LeBron's not top five in the NBA.
Love that. And KG flipped out.

Speaker 6 Paul Pierce is a good point. Like, LeBron is LeBron, but he's old.

Speaker 1 He's a good one. He's a third guy.
He's old. He's old.

Speaker 6 He's old. But I just respect, you know.

Speaker 6 I respect haters. It encourages me to keep my hate up because Paul Pierce is still keeping his hate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Paul.

Speaker 1 It's nice. Representation matters.
Yes, exactly. That's what you're saying.
It's like when they do, you know,

Speaker 1 different movies with different minorities. You needed this to have someone out there still hating.
And you're like, see, I can see myself in that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, yeah, like the Little Mermaid is black. Hank's like, yeah, seeing that on TV makes me think one day I can grow up to be a hater on the ground.

Speaker 6 Paul Pierce is my hero, and he's hating on LeBron. So it's okay for me to still hate him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's great. All right, PFT, your hot seat, Cool thrown.

Speaker 5 My hot seat is

Speaker 5 Kenya.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 Because our boy Billy and Donnie are back over in Africa right now looking for revenge.

Speaker 6 They're training. Billy's on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've put Billy.

Speaker 5 Billy will be fired if he comes back and they scored no touchdowns.

Speaker 5 No, hey, he's never been fired, Hank.

Speaker 5 It's fake news. It's an inside joke.
Billy was never fired.

Speaker 5 But yeah, I've told Billy if he comes back and he cannot call himself Billy football and go scoreless against Kenya again.

Speaker 6 He's put himself in the ultimate future, Billy, where he came back, he was kind of upset, he lost, and he got so excited about going back. And he was like pitching it.

Speaker 6 He's like, please help me get back there. I need to coach these guys.
I don't even care if we get filmed. And I was like, Billy, that makes no sense.

Speaker 6 It's for content. He's like, I don't care.

Speaker 6 I want to get this team to victory. And so he's going back, and he's, I mean, he's got all the pressure in the world.

Speaker 5 He's got all the pressure, but I'll defend Billy a little bit. When he came back back and he was crying about it and he was really upset and he was crying, it's because he cares for the boys so much.

Speaker 5 He went out there, practiced with them. He got passionate.
I like passionate Billy. Me too.

Speaker 5 Say what you want about Billy when he's not passionate, but when he actually cares about something, he's usually pretty good at it. And he deeply, deeply cares about this one.

Speaker 5 So the part of my cheesesteak bowl, round two, is going to happen. This is an away game.
This is in Kenya at Elevation. We've provided them.

Speaker 5 We actually put some money together, sent a bunch of equipment over for the Uganda football team. So they got new footballs, they got all this equipment, pads, whistles, you name it.

Speaker 5 Billy is like a pack mule that we've sent over to Africa. We're growing the game.
And yeah, Billy will be fired if they don't score a touchdown.

Speaker 5 It's not even that they don't score. Like, if they come back and they lose 40 to 3, Billy's fired.
They have to get a touchdown.

Speaker 6 Did you guys give him bribe money?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so that's the other funny thing is Billy put together a little budget for us.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I actually, PFT was like, hey, we're going to do this budget.

Speaker 6 I was like, I'm going to send it it to donnie not billy can i read the budget because i was i was like he was when he was asking me i was like all right what's it gonna cost can you send me a budget said flights 1400 hotels 400 food

Speaker 1 50 bucks cheap parentheses

Speaker 6 uh he goes extra baggage fee maybe and then at the very bottom it goes hopefully i don't have to pay any bribes this time but bribe and budget and cash 500.

Speaker 5 nice yeah so billy's just going overseas like a suitcase filled with ones good luck to bribes uh he's gonna score a touchdown though. I have full confidence in Uganda.
It was a wet game. It was rainy.

Speaker 5 Billy was injured last time. He just better get a touchdown.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Your cool throne? My cool throne is traffic.

Speaker 5 So Chicago just decided that we don't need traffic anymore.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, the construction.

Speaker 5 Yeah. So there's been construction ever since we've moved to Chicago on the main highways.

Speaker 5 And it's been a pain in the ass to drive around, as it is in most cities trying to get around, especially at rush hour.

Speaker 5 Like two days ago, Chicago just said, you know what? Let's just not do the construction and we won't have traffic anymore. And when I drove to work yesterday, it was awesome.
Yeah. It was so fast.

Speaker 5 It was, I felt like I was living large, like luxury.

Speaker 1 They just said phase one complete. Yeah.
So oh, okay. Now there's just one's phase two, though.
We shouldn't do phase two. Phase two is coming.
You know it is.

Speaker 5 Because phase one, it's done and now there's no traffic anymore. We just decided, I don't know what they were building.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, they were just, I think they were fixing the highway. And then the,

Speaker 1 yeah, like Brandon, who drives from Wisconsin, he got here at like 7:15 the other day. I was like, Why are you here so early?

Speaker 1 And he's like, I, my commute was like half as long, yeah, there's no traffic anymore.

Speaker 5 There's something, there's something going on, yeah, there's some sort of scam going on to that. My other cool throne is Drip for the Boys.

Speaker 5 Uh, so you know how I bought a bunch of uh Darius Rucker NFL collab stuff,

Speaker 5 I did it again, where I saw a guy Fieri NFL Flavor Town collab, and so I got the boys

Speaker 4 food-related.

Speaker 5 I dropped like 500 on Fanatics the other day. And I was like, okay, you know who'd like this awesome shirt of a giant ass bear eating a deep dish pizza? My friend Big Cat.

Speaker 5 You know who'd like this lobster

Speaker 1 shirt?

Speaker 5 My friend Hank. And so now we got some Guy Fieri NFL collabs.

Speaker 5 So if you want to, if they, if the guy that does the collab wants to send me $20,000 worth of medium-sized commander's gear with Guy Fieri influence on it, I'm open to hearing about that.

Speaker 5 But yeah, boys are going to be decked out this weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm pumped. I'm ready for it.
You told me that, and I was like, fuck yes. All right, my hot seat is Al Michaels.
He has been blindsided. He's not calling the NBC playoff game this year.

Speaker 5 Really? Yeah. Was that his choice? No.

Speaker 7 No Eagle next up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I think the people at NBC were like, we hear Al might be not

Speaker 1 maybe not vintage Al. And so, yeah, I think he got kind of blindsided.

Speaker 4 I don't like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I don't like it either. I don't like this.

Speaker 5 Let Al go out on his own terms. Let Al keep going.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was some news. Andrew Martin had that.

Speaker 1 He got blindsided. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is Georgia fans. So, Georgia fans, they are not in the playoff, but they're in a fight right now for

Speaker 1 five-star quarterback Dylan Rayola. And

Speaker 1 there's word on the street that he might be going to take a visit in Nebraska. And we had this from a comment section on a Georgia Bulldogs

Speaker 1 site. It says, does anyone here work at Hartsfield Jackson Airport? It's being reported that Rayola will visit Nebraska on Friday.

Speaker 1 I assume that he'll take the 221 Delta flight, which is also the last flight of the day to the state.

Speaker 1 Therefore, if this flight gets canceled, he likely won't be able to make the trip and will stay committed to UGA. Obviously, messing with commercial flights is a slippery slope.

Speaker 1 So I'm not suggesting that anybody does anything illegal, but does anyone here work for Delta?

Speaker 1 If some loyal UGA pilots or flight attendants call in sick at the last minute, the flight could be canceled and we could keep Rayola.

Speaker 1 Maybe someone working could hold the flight up for maintenance issues. At the very least, he could lose his check bags, so he'd have to experience the Nebraska winter without a jacket.

Speaker 1 I'm just spitballing ideas, but if anyone has anything else, those would also be appreciated.

Speaker 5 The phrase, obviously messing with commercial air travel is a slippery slope, was that's an all-time.

Speaker 1 All-time.

Speaker 12 Yada, yada, yada. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Obviously. We just got to get this out of the way.

Speaker 8 I don't think there's a gray area for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably not. Slippery slope is probably not.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Slippery slope's doing a lot of work. Yes, in that phrase.
I'll put it that way.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Okay, your hot seat, cool throne, Jake.

Speaker 7 My hot seat is the Detroit Lions because next on their schedule is the Denver Broncos. And Russell Wilson has the baby bump.
Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. He had a baby.

Speaker 7 Yes, so that's Saturday night. Great Saturday tripleheader, by the way.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 All teams above 500. My cool throne's hanging the banner because that's exactly what the Lakers will be doing for the in-season in-season tournament championship.

Speaker 1 They're hanging a banner. Oh, no.
So I love it.

Speaker 8 There's a champion. They won a championship.

Speaker 5 Is it going to be like a special colored banner?

Speaker 1 I think it has to be small. Neon.
It has to be smaller.

Speaker 7 It's different than their other championships, but that has sparked some.

Speaker 1 I mean, if it stays around, I guess you have to hang a banner. It would have been cooler if the Pacers won and hung a banner because that would have been like, that's nice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lakers, like, you've won championships. A lot of them.

Speaker 5 It would also be funny if the in-season tournament never happened again and they just had the only banner. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would also be great.

Speaker 1 Okay, good job, boys. Let's get to our interview with Stav.

Speaker 1 It's time for our interview with Stav Rose.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest in studio. It is Stavi Babe.
What's

Speaker 1 the Greek freak? The Greek freak.

Speaker 1 He has a new Netflix special out right now. You got to go watch it.
It's called Fat Rascal.

Speaker 1 Let's start there. I mean,

Speaker 1 why did you call yourself fat?

Speaker 1 Well, I think. You look good.
Thanks, man. Yeah.
I do appreciate that. But this thing, fat is not a bad word.
You know what I mean? I'm trying to take it back.

Speaker 1 You could be fat. You could be a beautiful motherfucker.
You get your titty sucked. You could be fat.
People like fat.

Speaker 1 You're in Chicago now this if there's a city that respects a fat person yeah big big people i love waltz big people i'm respected in this yeah you know that is power here that is power yeah big

Speaker 1 that was that was a sign of like royal you were eating well you had money city of broad shoulders this is a city where you could call someone a pip squeak you know what i mean it really means the pencil neck

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah yeah like if you imagine if you brought home a skinny man if you were a woman uh-huh who had to meet your fat father and you bring home like some brooklyn fucking pussy with like, you know, 90 pounds.

Speaker 1 It's like they would be pissed off. Skinny man here is like.
How's he going to provide for you? He can't even provide for himself. Right, right, right.
Look how skinny he is.

Speaker 1 To be honest, I wanted to call the special fat little slut, but they were just like, hey, man, if you Google that, your special's not coming out. They're like,

Speaker 1 I like a James Brown tweet when he tweeted out damplips.com.

Speaker 5 I like the word rascal, too.

Speaker 1 That's a very underused word, I think. I think so.

Speaker 5 You would call yourself a rascal?

Speaker 1 I would absolutely call myself a rascal. It's hard to be a rascal like in your 30s, though.
I know. But I think that we all actually apply to that.
We're

Speaker 1 still

Speaker 1 playing dodgeball out here.

Speaker 1 We're rascals. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a good thing to have. It's like, never lose your inner rascal.
Totally. This is like, this is truly like the little rascals.

Speaker 1 I know you have to legally probably employ, what, four women? But this is the like E-Man Woman Haters Club. You know what I mean? We have a clubhouse.

Speaker 1 It's great.

Speaker 1 I was listening to another show you were on, and you said something that really hit me hard when you said that you have gotten maybe not the best shape right now, but you're at a point where you can't have any black and white pictures of yourself.

Speaker 1 Dude, absolutely. People will just, if they see a black and white picture of Stop, they'll just be like, oh, he's dead? He's dead.
Yeah, I can't get into photography right now.

Speaker 1 Because if people see fucking, if they see an old-time, if they see one black and white me like gazing off like softly, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They're going to start texting my mom, being like, oh no, how can we help? You know, like, yeah, it's tough tough when you've gotten so fat that you cannot.

Speaker 1 There's a couple, I've hit a couple different points, you know. But your brother's fucking jacked.
I ran into him right before I left

Speaker 1 New York at the museum. I was with my kids, and he just came up to me.
He's like, hey, I'm Stav's brother. I was like, dude, you're fucking jacked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So he's got to get you back in shape. I know.
It's funny because he started like...

Speaker 1 He just started running a business and I would just go and hang out. I was like, oh, sick, I'm going to help my brother with a gym.
He's going to be my slave. He has to work me out whenever.

Speaker 1 And And he's like, no, I have to run my gym. Yeah, I have a

Speaker 1 fat cocksucker. Good luck.
Good luck out there. I was like, fuck, dude.
I help you buy these fucking equipment and you throw me to the fucking wolves to get fatter for a year. And that's what he did.

Speaker 1 But we're going to get back to. I'm going back to Baltimore for a couple months.
Nice.

Speaker 5 What kind of training are you going to do? You're going to do like Olympic lifting?

Speaker 1 I wish it?

Speaker 1 I have gotten so fat where I have to do like the training. Like when an old woman breaks her hip, those are the workouts.

Speaker 1 Oh, like you're in the pool? I have to be in the pool. I have to, like, like really thick rubber bands.
I have to stretch those out a little bit.

Speaker 5 You got to do like the supported treadmill where you're like strapped into it to take some weight off.

Speaker 1 We don't want to add any weight here. We're just going to do resistance bands.
It's so sad because

Speaker 1 I tried to get back. I was like, I'm going to get a jump on it, like on the road.
I'm going to work out. Oh, that's never.
That is the worst thing to do. I get injured.
I've just been injured.

Speaker 1 Like one lift, my fucking, my whole body. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I've been going through that the last like, I don't know, two years where your body just accumulates injuries and they never go away. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's like you step out of bed one day and you like sprain your foot. You're like, well, my foot's going to hurt for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 I'm just done. That's what's wrong with my feet.
Yeah, yeah. Also, the workout on the road, the most I work out on the road is I pack gym shoes.
Yeah, yeah. That's it.

Speaker 1 You pack it and you're like, yeah, I'll work out. And then you just never take them out of your bag.
No. And now I'm getting too fat to walk, too.
I'm like, fuck. I need the elliptical.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm hurting my feet walking. And I'm like, Jesus Christ.
I literally need an elliptical where my feet are locked in place. But I'm going to look for a water treadmill.
That's not a a bad idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that. I'm going to be fucking walking on that.
You need the Babe Ruth workout where, like, those old videos of Babe Ruth, where you just sit there and they would, like, jiggle him. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, there you go. You worked out, babe.

Speaker 5 There's like a board that women used to stand on that would just shake them back and forth and

Speaker 1 that would make them lose weight.

Speaker 5 Or you could reach the point where you're just like, I'm going to be a sauna guy. Yeah.
And if you sweat, that's a workout.

Speaker 1 The executive workout. Yeah.
Steam sauna shower. Yeah.
The sauna era is coming. Yeah.
The sauna era is absolutely. It might be here.
It's here, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, how different is this from just a towel around my neck? You know what I mean? Like, I need to just be one towel over my dick, one like this, hanging out for hours.

Speaker 5 I read your profile on GQ and the opening line of it. By the way, congrats on having a profile written here.

Speaker 1 Oh, thanks. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's crazy.

Speaker 5 Gentleman's Quarterly. Yeah, sure stuff.

Speaker 1 When you're a gentleman.

Speaker 5 With his tracksuit wide open with gold chains hanging on.

Speaker 1 Well, listen, when you got famous on a come podcast and then you went on to get more famous asking people the last time they got pussy on the internet, you got to be in Gentleman's Quarterly.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? There's some old GQ executive that are like, what the fuck? Yeah, what's happened to this fucking magazine? We used to get Christian bail every year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why is the fattest man I've ever seen in the magazine? Is Pierce Brosnan dead?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? We wanted to get him in a trench coat. Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
I love it. Shout out to my boy Lawrence.

Speaker 5 The opening sentence is great.

Speaker 5 Two days before Thanksgiving, Stavros Halkius sits at the dining table of his three-bedroom story apartment, comfortably dressed in a lavender velour Sergio Takini sweatsuit.

Speaker 1 That's right. Actually, it's this exact suit in lavender.

Speaker 5 Nice.

Speaker 1 How many do you own?

Speaker 5 That's another way that you can tell you're getting old. You just buy the same thing,

Speaker 5 different colors.

Speaker 1 The only thing I have splurged on in my life is tracks. The tracksuit, if I saw a number of what I've spent on tracksuits, it would be so embarrassing.
But it is, it is.

Speaker 1 If you're heavier, the tracksuit, you put on a tracksuit and it's like Superman's cape.

Speaker 1 You become the most powerful man in the world it's just a totally different vibe like absolutely if you put on that track suit everyone walks around being like damn dude if i respect him if i was sitting here in a tucked-in white shirt into some pleated khakis you would be like get this child molester out of here you know what i mean you'd be like but the tracksuit's like no this guy's wheeling and dealing absolutely

Speaker 1 absolutely yeah i i look like i own the land that this building was built on you know what i mean i'm not even i'm above the landlord i just come in here i'm like very good how is everything boys boys?

Speaker 1 You like the electricity I have here for you very much? Too many lamps. Turn off, right? Too much electricity you spend.

Speaker 1 When can I meet sports guys? Where is Michael Jordan? Can you guys do sports interviews?

Speaker 1 Just like the guy, that's who I look like down here.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the tracksuit is like, that guy's got something going on. And I don't know what it is, and I don't know if I want to know what it is.

Speaker 1 Dude, if you walk into, I've done this a couple times where you walk into a place where everyone's in a suit and you're in a tracksuit, everyone's like, this guy fucking rocks.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 everyone's like who the or they're like they just won't ask any questions it is you could be so dressed down that they're like this guy's a lunatic for coming in here like this we're not asking any questions now it turns out i'm not in the mafia i'm just so fat i don't want to wear clothes that buckle yeah but still i project that error you're right the the tracksuit is like uh a press credential or security credentials everywhere you go no one's like hey what why should why is this guy here it's like no no someone knows what yeah yeah we don't ask questions if you had a golf cart and a track you're getting in, you could get into the White House.

Speaker 1 Easily. Easily.
I'm the president's bookie.

Speaker 1 You're just Hunter Biden's best friend. That really is the truth.
Hunter Biden doesn't have a friend that looks like me. That's fucked up.

Speaker 1 If you showed up to the White House, they would all just be like, yeah, I think he knows Hunter.

Speaker 1 He's got to know Hunter. Yeah, that's Hunter's Pussy Connect.

Speaker 1 That's the guy who brings him horse. That's the guy who dropped off the laptop.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, dick. Yeah.
Well, I was like, yeah, let me see. My nephew could take a look at your laptop.

Speaker 5 How many more pictures are we going to get out of that laptop? It seems like he had

Speaker 5 like thousands of pictures. And they're all, he took a lot of pictures of him smoking crack.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. I love it.

Speaker 1 I'm so pro-Hunter. Because it's like so many politicians' kids steal our money and then what? Make foundations.
Yeah, that's a cool shit like that.

Speaker 1 Like, no, dude, let's fucking smoke crack, get our dick sucked.

Speaker 1 Look, if I can't have universal health care, at least the people robbing me are having a good time. And just think about it this way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like Chelsea Clinton, she's got probably some crazy foundation. She's probably helping all these people.
It doesn't really do anything for us.

Speaker 1 Hunter Biden is just giving us laughs and content constantly. Yeah, absolutely.
No, that's the way to do it. If you're going to be corrupt, like, look.

Speaker 1 Saddam Hussein's sons, except for like all the murder and stuff, having like a fucking tiger that you make gold armor for and shit like that, that's awesome. That's so much cooler than

Speaker 1 a foundation for somebody with lupus or whatever the fuck. That probably most of it's not even going.
It's mostly going to spent on like in the office.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or like, yeah, you're just buying art and laundering money. Yeah, exactly.
I want to see it just all out. Like, Hunter Biden makes mistakes that like we would make.
Totally.

Speaker 1 And he's the president's son. And he's not on a secret pedophile island.
It's all out there. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Transparency. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The numbers, it was like a million dollars in hookers in the last like five years. He was just putting up like Wilt Chamberlain.
Fuck yes, dude. That's so sick.

Speaker 5 He'd be so fun to hang out with for one night.

Speaker 5 Like that he should actually have... There should be a cameo for Hunter Biden or people like Hunter Biden.
Just like one night, come party with me. Just chill with Hunter.

Speaker 5 Just chill with Hunter for a night. I'll show you my Hunter.
I can show you my world.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When Joe's over, dude, when Joe's dead, he might become that guy.
He might rent himself out as a party. companion.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 I want to talk about your special real quick. So last time you were on, you had a special on YouTube.
That's right. Now we're on Netflix.
What was that transition?

Speaker 1 I mean, is that like a no-brainer, or were you actually thinking, like, well, YouTube was kind of sick because people could just watch it and, you know, it got to a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it was... I definitely thought about it because YouTube, I mean, the internet, like I said, has been the best thing in the world.
I mean, you guys know it.

Speaker 1 Like, our whole careers, our lives are hysterical because of the internet. Like I said, from Come Town to like just literally crowd work clip, like just posting clips.

Speaker 1 And like, and then my YouTube channel channel too like tons of people find me from youtube and so i thought about it for sure but it just came down to like netflix is the biggest streaming platform like we we forget about that because we made our shit on the internet and we're like it's just but it's like there's so many other people to reach yeah where it's like just some random regular motherfuckers that are watching suits you know what i mean like yeah they're not on youtube they're not like clicking off of like you know they're not going from like um

Speaker 1 was jesus black you know what i mean like was they're not going to like you know they're not going to like conspiracy youtube over to like stand-up you know they're just like watching you know they're sad the office is gone from netflix and they need something you to watch yeah it's like let's let's expose myself to them you know what i mean how many of those people do you think turned it on they're like what the yeah

Speaker 1 hopefully a lot yeah

Speaker 1 i was watching the crown and then i got this you know recommended to me what just happened yeah i love that idea of just people being like what the and i probably laughed I would love to, yeah, half were discussed it, half laughed, and we take that half that laughed, and then we fucking, you know, double it up, do the next one.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's just sick. I mean, it's also the thing of like, you know,

Speaker 1 I know, I know you guys, I mean, not to bring up like fucking, I guess it's like, imagine if Barstool Van Talk hadn't failed. That's kind of a Netflix special.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, imagine if, like, and you guys got, were fucked for being too, like, I think it was too early.

Speaker 1 Cause I think if, if I tried to make a mainstream thing back then, like, yeah, like that was canceled season, dude. Right.
I feel like now people are kind of over it. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, if you guys wanted, with in a heartbeat, you could have a fucking legacy TV show, but you realize, like, fuck it. We'll make it ourselves.
Who gives a fuck? We're in a hilarious studio.

Speaker 1 I don't have the fucking barstool resources. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So it's cool to be with Netflix where they have, you know, they've put out some of the best specials in the last 10 years or, you know, and like the modern iteration of stand-up.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much the major one. Yeah.
Like, so it was just a cool thing to do. They were great to work with.
I was shocked. Like, I was worried they'd be like censoring shit.
They didn't give up.

Speaker 1 They were cool, dude. Except for the fat little slut.
Except for not being able to call fat slut.

Speaker 1 Fat little slut, which, you know, I've tried to call two specials in a row, and I don't think it'll ever happen. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Have you heard from like people you went to high school with that didn't know that you were doing stand-up? And they're like, oh shit, Stavi's on my TV right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Now it's not only them, but like also like people and like relatives in Greece and shit.
I can't pretend I'm not successful anymore that's the hard part

Speaker 1 now it's like fuck if there's some some expense in the village I gotta spring for it you know what I mean like I gotta fucking I gotta uh but yeah that's another thing it's like people just do

Speaker 1 like you know people were just like holy shit to them it felt like it feels real where it's like you know I've been out here for whatever however long since I was 19 whatever it's just been going good the last couple years but yeah there is something perception wise where it's just like you get on Netflix you get on this like mainstream thing, and people are just like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 I guess you're a real comedian. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Have you thought about maybe Giannis sitting down on his couch and he opens up Netflix and then boom, there's Stavi? He's probably seen you.

Speaker 1 Dude, he's in the special thanks. Yannis at Deptakumbo is a lot of love.
I'm in the special thanks for inspiring me to be a champion.

Speaker 1 Wait, have people tried to cancel you at any point? I don't think so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is kind of over. And also, comedians.
I honestly don't give a fuck. Right.
Comedians live in a world that it's nice that you guys be like, we're making people laugh. Yeah.
That's the job. Totally.

Speaker 1 So we do say stuff that is like crazy. It's to laugh.
Totally. You can opt in or opt out.
Let's have a good time. If you don't like it, great.
I don't give a fuck. Fine, go away.

Speaker 1 I don't give a, just come to the show or don't. It does feel like the world has moved to that spot and it's a lot nicer.
Where people are like, guess what? It's not for you. Don't listen to it.

Speaker 1 Totally. Exactly.
So I don't know. I mean, they might still, whatever, who gives a fuck.
At the end of the day, it's like, that's why starting your own thing.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's why, even what, like, when I first left Cometown, I was like, damn, I don't want to do a podcast. But then it did, like, a few months later, kind of dawned on me.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, it's good to just have your own thing no matter what.

Speaker 1 Like, just again, looking at you guys, looking at everybody who's done like their own internet thing, even other comics, it's like a podcast is just like this.

Speaker 1 You get to connect with your fans like once a week, whatever. And it's like, look, at the end of the day, they cancel me.
I'm not allowed to fucking be on Netflix or you still have your podcast.

Speaker 1 I have my podcast. I put my own shit out.
And then, you know, I'll make my own.

Speaker 1 Like, Shane just shane gillis just like just made his own sitcom yeah like filmed his own thing and it's like that's the thing at the end of the day that's what's cool about comedy and having your own audience that's why i'm so grateful for people that just directly go to my go to my shows like subscribe to my it's like i'll just be able to make whatever the i want it and shane is a perfect example where it's like he the snl thing happened that was kind of the height of the cancellation era and then he just made like a 10 million times funnier snl yeah he's like you guys canceled it.

Speaker 1 Exactly. You know, Shane is almost like cancellation Jesus.
Yeah. Like he died for all our sins, and now no one can get canceled anymore.
It's like, go ahead, cancel me.

Speaker 1 I'll guess I'll get more famous. You know what I mean? Like more fans? People will like me even more.
He fucking defeated the nerds, the fucking Tattletale nerds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one guy who tried to cancel him. I'm sure he just sits at home every day.
And he's just like, ah, I thought it would work.

Speaker 1 I've only made it more powerful.

Speaker 1 I thought my life would be fulfilled tearing down someone else. Yeah, yeah.
Now that's a pip squeak. That's a pencil name.
That's a total pit squeak. Yes, that's absolutely.

Speaker 5 You do have like a very hardcore audience. Like your fans fucking love you.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And with the clips that you put out, I know you do a lot of crowd work.

Speaker 5 Do people, like, do they start going to shows wearing stuff, hoping, like, I hope stuff roasts me.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so funny. Somebody comes looking stupid as shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like people, some people will yell out or like try.

Speaker 1 You can tell when somebody really wants to be a part of, like, they, but it's like that's just not how it works right like you're not it's not going to be funny if you have some shitty joke that you've thought of you know what I mean or so so it's like I try to avoid that and I just go the magic is in someone who doesn't want to be talked to the magic is in like someone who who like even just doesn't really know whether they're a friend of a friend like you can kind of sniff it out and it's like let's just have a real conversation let's like let's get to know you or somebody who yells out their thing and they have something in their head you know they're like uh ron jeremy you know like they've just been thinking about a thing I've heard 500 times.

Speaker 1 And then you let them bomb and then you're like, what's going on with you, man? Do you like your father? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, and then you're just like, why do you feel the need to yell out like that? You know, and it's like, you psychoanalyze them and shit. And it's, it's the best.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's fun to just fuck around with people. And, and that's like only a little part of the show.

Speaker 1 I only do like, honestly, if you come see me for an hour, I'll do 10, maybe 15 minutes of crowd work just to kind of just to feel like you're not a robot.

Speaker 1 Like, I always did that even before I put crowdwork clips clips out i was like let's make this feel like a live show yeah it's different than every show you do exactly that's what's cool about stand-up is like every show is a little different yeah but yeah we we try and avoid that shit but there was one guy who came to a special taping dressed uh like in full tiger print and i thought he was fucking with me and i think he was just like a tech bro who just was trying like those fucking nerds get money and don't understand how to be cool yeah and so they just overdo it and i swear to god i didn't fuck with him for 20 minutes of the special taping because I thought he had a developmental disability like I was like there's no way a grown man you know what I mean who's like here on his own would dress like this and then you know I figured out he wasn't yeah we've got a we've got a guy sitting in this room on the in the booth right now that's going to do an hour of stand-up in Vegas probably so Hank is gonna have to be a stand-up comedian full hour set in Vegas do you have any tips for him first timer get up on stage he's very he's very nervous yeah he should be it's good it's gonna be horrible it's like an hour is a long time, bro.

Speaker 1 That sucks, dude. That's so long.

Speaker 5 Our idea was for him to just get up there and just be the world's first cover comedian and just tell everybody else's jokes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I thought he should do Carlos Vincia's set. Right, right.
Right, right. Ooh, double cover.
Yeah. Double cover.

Speaker 1 I've done that. That's like Korean fried chicken where they fry it twice.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hank steals twice.

Speaker 1 I'm screwed. No, Hank is so fucked.

Speaker 1 An hour is so long where I think he needs to break it up with like, you know, we were talking a little bit outside stories are a nice it eats up some time yeah you know uh a little he could do magic i've i if i had lost i would have i would have actually magic do an entire magic set oh so so what's what is this

Speaker 1 stand up one man that's not a lie that's such a fun thing to say it's a one-man show well yeah unfortunately i did beat you but you didn't hear the boys it's a one-man show uh and he can't you he can't do like questions from the audience he can't do like no q a like anything like that.

Speaker 1 Oh, one-man show.

Speaker 1 You should make up like getting molested or something, Hank. You should make like a fucking bummer, bummer, like a theater piece.

Speaker 6 Surviving Barcelona, my edition.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, make up how these guys have abused you.

Speaker 5 He should do his version of Nanette.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hankett.

Speaker 6 When was the first time, how long were you doing stand-up before you did 60 Minutes?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 a long time.

Speaker 1 Like, literally five years, probably before I did an hour easily. And even that was like tough.
I was like, fuck, this is gonna suck. You gotta get up beforehand, Hank.

Speaker 1 You gotta do a couple sets in rolls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you gotta do, because it, and it's gonna be so.

Speaker 1 When you realize how fast it goes, because you're gonna have, this is what happens when everybody starts comedy.

Speaker 1 It's like you think you have an hour easy, and then you get on stage and it's like, I don't have a minute. Two and a half minutes is over yet.
And it's over yet.

Speaker 5 Wait, wait, Hank, you want to try your material? I don't have any.

Speaker 1 No, I told you, you did like 30 seconds of your bid.

Speaker 6 I spent a little bit of time on Friday night just like looking at a piece of paper, starting to write ideas, and like, there's not much.

Speaker 1 What about your Dave? Your Dave Portnoy? I like that you sit alone with yourself.

Speaker 1 There's nothing here. Nothing.
I got nothing.

Speaker 1 I'm bombing for me.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank. I like callbacks.

Speaker 6 That's the only, you know, stand-up. I appreciate that the stand-ups that set something up and then come back to it 45 minutes later.
Okay.

Speaker 6 That's a goal.

Speaker 1 that's on the vision board sounds like you have that means you have 10 seconds you have one joke and then you mention it 40 minutes later all right no he's got he's got 10 seconds he says the first joke and then 10 seconds later he does a callback yeah yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 by the way i love that because it's like no addition this is clear hank really is going through like the motions of being a new comic because that's like callbacks are like you know complete Bullshit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you just like

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 just get an applause break. A comic with too many callbacks really is.
But one is good, but you don't want to overdo it. I think, okay, let's go through the Stopvers Halki school of stand-up comedy.

Speaker 1 Sexual embarrassments, Hank. You know what I mean? That's good.

Speaker 6 I do that. That's the other thing I realized.

Speaker 6 I've kept the private life private, the dating life last private the last three years. That I can open up.

Speaker 6 There's some stuff that I've wanted to say that's funny that.

Speaker 6 I just haven't, but I think that this is a good opportunity for that. I think so.
That'll give me like a minute.

Speaker 1 That's wild. All right, we're 59 down all right i could do a song so this is my you got

Speaker 6 i get one song so i want to get like 30 minutes

Speaker 6 song to break it up and then finish and maybe the last 30 minutes is just roasting my co-workers you think you could do that for 30 minutes no

Speaker 1 the like i'm just like the comedy central roast that were produced and had 10 of the funniest people in the world those were one hour and those were a lot of editing and a lot of writing went into it you think you could do half of that by yourself?

Speaker 5 You might just get mean.

Speaker 1 He just

Speaker 5 might say the meanest stuff about all that would be awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think if it's a one-man show, I think you're going about this the wrong way.
Be fake dramatic. Like, you know, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Do a magic trick. Do a, do like, you know, what?

Speaker 1 What do you say? You can learn a magic trick. Yeah, but you'd be like, I was going to learn a fucking magic show.
Like, terrible. This would be the worst magic ever, but I was going to try to do it.

Speaker 1 A dance number. Why not a dance number? Oh, you get some tap shoes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tap shoes.
That could be like, like fucking.

Speaker 1 The Rocket. Shirley Temple.
What the fuck is her name? Shirley Temple? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, do an orphan annie thing. Costume changes.

Speaker 1 Oh, costume changes would be big.

Speaker 1 Get a poll out there, do some aerial work.

Speaker 1 Ooh, that's good. Yeah, dude, you're going to about this the wrong way.
An hour of stand-ups, you're not going to be able to do that. It's going to be crazy.
But you could do 15 maybe stand-ups.

Speaker 1 You should smash some fruit and Gallagher,

Speaker 1 style

Speaker 1 if you smash some shit oh this is great this is great you got to break it up into segments you could probably do 15 minutes of just stand-up right not gonna be great but you could if you what you thought was gonna go into that hour you could do in 15.

Speaker 1 then we have the song let's say it's six minutes yeah you know what i mean then we have a dance number then you have a dance number then uh magic trick magic and i know you said no questions from the audience but what if he did like uh what if he did like you know those fake people that pretended they were psychics what if he pretended to do like, what if he did like a 10-minute segment where he's like, um, uh, it's with a D.

Speaker 1 Somebody's mother with a D recently died. You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 training to be a psychic. Yes.
There's a lot of, like, you know why Cedric the Entertainer got his name, Cedric the Entertainer?

Speaker 1 Because he would book himself on shows where he did not have an hour and he was called the Entertainer because he would like play the saxophone. Yeah.
He would sing. He would dance.

Speaker 1 We got Hank the Entertainer here, dude. We got Hank the Entertainer here.
What if you got, what was that stupid instrument we all learned? The recorder. The recorder.
What if you got a recorder?

Speaker 1 Did some hot cross buns?

Speaker 1 Well, I got to save it.

Speaker 6 I was going to learn a song on the guitar. If I could do multiple songs, that changes everything.

Speaker 1 Right. Well, I think there should be one sing song where you sing.
Oh, you sing the whole crowd singing. And then one instrumental.
That could be fair. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We can allow the crowd to sing a song. Together.
Yeah. Mr.
Brightside or something.

Speaker 6 I was thinking a star is born song.

Speaker 1 Oh, tell me something.

Speaker 1 What about, what about, Hank? What about, like, you should also think like NBA halftime stuff, like, maybe we can get a dog,

Speaker 1 like, those type of things. Unicycle bounce and fucking plates on a unicycle.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 We do have the unicycle here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But I can't fucking ride it.
Oh, you can learn.

Speaker 1 Get ready to learn unicycle, buddy. You're going about this the wrong way.
Yeah. Donkey show.
You get fucked in the ass by a horse. That's the big closer.
Tijuana donkey show.

Speaker 1 Or if you want to do, you know, more tame ping-pong balls coming out of your ass. Yeah.
You could be wearing a kilt, and then you just go,

Speaker 1 and they come out of your ass. You don't have to show your ass, but they could pop out.

Speaker 1 Drop this. Yeah, dude, that's a pardon my balls.
That's a good commercial for pardon my balls. They come out of Hank's ass.
Oh, the lottery. You do a lottery drawing out of Hank's ass?

Speaker 1 Get up there, and you're like, I have one number in my ass.

Speaker 1 And whoever guesses it in the audience gets some fucking, you know, gets their own lottery ball machine. Gets the ball.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a lot here. Dude, yeah.

Speaker 6 All right, so 15 minutes of stand up and then build out the rest.

Speaker 1 Yes, I think that's fair.

Speaker 5 Even if it's bad, it's going to be so bad. It's going to be bad.

Speaker 1 It's not like even.

Speaker 6 You don't have to say even.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
I agree. I agree.
You're holding out hope.

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Speaker 17 Cheez-It brings 100 real cheese and deliciousness to every game fuel your game day cravings with cheesy crunchy salty deliciousness and fuel your cheez-it fandom at cheez-it.com use code stool25 for 20 off your order um should we talk about the ravens let's do it how are we feeling we're feeling good i mean look I have to take, there's, you know, you're of two minds, right?

Speaker 1 Where you're, you're the objective. Like, I do think they're the best team in the AFC.
I think, like, I still believe in Lamar.

Speaker 1 I still think the defense, even though fucking Stafford shredded us, it was fucking annoying. Now, he did get a couple insane throws where it's like, I was like, what the, where did this come from?

Speaker 1 Why is he good again? Like,

Speaker 1 a couple of the touchdowns, that motherfucker was off his back foot with somebody was coming at him clean, and he got a couple of those throws off. So you can't even really be mad at the defense, but

Speaker 1 objectively, I still feel good, but there is that fan, like, doomsday shit where it's like, why are we the classic team that, like, you know, the narrative of playing down to your opponent.

Speaker 1 We're the classic team. You can't step on throats.
Like you've had a couple of times where you've done it with the Seahawks and the Lions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he didn't, though, because when you blow a team out, there's never even that moment. It's not stepping on their throat.

Speaker 1 That's not taking the game over in the third quarter and being like, fuck this. You've been hanging around all game.
Now we go up by three scores. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's, we've been up by fucking, there's, it was never in down. The Browns game is the one that concerns me the most.

Speaker 1 That was the old school Ravens where it's like the Ravens were up, whatever, two touchdowns. And it's like,

Speaker 1 this is the moment in third quarter. If you score here, the game's over and you let them back in and you lose.
But it's not just that game. I mean, the fucking Steelers game, the fucking, the Colts.

Speaker 1 We lost to the fucking Colts.

Speaker 1 And I'm a little worried. I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say anything sacrilegious, but it's like to come out of a buy.

Speaker 1 And to have some weird coaching moves. It's just like, I'm a little worried about my boy Johnny.
I don't know, dude.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's like, we didn't, you should look fucking awesome after a buy when you've got such a sick team. And I thought the way we handled the first half yesterday was weird.

Speaker 1 We didn't use our timeouts. That challenge flag where it's like, dude, it's a fucking touchdown.
What are we doing here?

Speaker 1 I mean, you have a sick arm. Congratulations.
There's a frustration.

Speaker 1 We always talk about it how much we love it when a coach will check. It's basically.
But that's the whole job. It's not to be frustrating.

Speaker 1 We're the fucking, yeah, a dumbass on the couch, like, fucking challenge it. Yeah.
And the coach will just be like, no, it's a touchdown. Like, get it.

Speaker 1 They revert to like their inner six-year-old where they try to unplug the like

Speaker 1 two, and they're just like, fuck this. This does not count.
You say, nuh-uh.

Speaker 5 Uh-uh. That was not a touchdown.
Bullshit.

Speaker 1 We used to pause Madden when

Speaker 1 your friend was on a great drive. You're like, oh, my fingers slipped.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 As he released the. It's like, no, I just need to collect my thoughts.
Sorry, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 5 They are the best team in the AFC. I mean, the Dolphins, we don't know about the Dolphins yet.

Speaker 1 You'll find out. You get to play the Niners and Dolphins.
I know. Get to is an interesting way to phrase that, but yeah.
Well, it's you're right. The Ravens.
We're better to find out now.

Speaker 1 The Ravens are in a weird position where they are actually on the field. They're going to get to decide in the last month of the season both one seats in the NFC and AFC.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Like, if they beat the Niners and Dolphins,

Speaker 1 someone else is getting the one seed in the NFC, and then the Ravens are going to get in the AFC. If they lose to both, it's going to be Dolphins and Niners.
Yeah, no, that's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it runs through Baltimore, baby. That's right.

Speaker 1 The whole fucking NFL runs through Baltimore, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I think, I still believe in Lamar. I think he's the fucking man, and I think we could have a really,

Speaker 1 because here's what I'm telling myself, because it's always like, don't step on next, like, you don't get, they don't get up for the games that aren't.

Speaker 1 You know, like that Lions game was such a huge state. Like, everybody was talking about going into that week, everyone was like, now we find out about these teams.

Speaker 1 And I think that's when they played awesome.

Speaker 1 So the same thing can be said with this Dolphins and the Niners games where it's like, all right, if you motherfuckers show up here, then I'm not scared because that means come playoff time where the stakes are so high,

Speaker 1 you'll be ready to go. Now,

Speaker 1 does it scare me that we might have like a,

Speaker 1 if we don't get out of the, like, the first round is when I would feel the worst about the Ravens in a weird way. Yeah.
Because they, because it's like, what if they...

Speaker 1 Doomsday scenario play Joe Flacco. Well, I'm looking at the right.

Speaker 1 Doomsday scenario play Flacco.

Speaker 5 If the season ended today, you'd have the buy.

Speaker 5 We don't know what the Dolphins are going to do on Monday Night Football, but right now you'd have the buy, and then you would potentially play Flacco in the second round.

Speaker 1 Hilarious. At home.

Speaker 5 The prodigal son. That'd be the whole thing.

Speaker 1 The Flacco revenge game. That would be brutal, dude.
That would be like, you know how the Klitschgos said they never, they couldn't fight because their mom would be too sad?

Speaker 1 I would be the Klitschgo's mom watching that, where it's like Flacco versus the Ravens. I would be like, oh, don't hurt him.
Joe, please just throw a couple picks for old time's sake for us.

Speaker 1 So, I don't know.

Speaker 1 And don't get me wrong, again,

Speaker 1 it's fucking, the team is awesome. I love the,

Speaker 1 it's so cool to see, like, the defense just, I thought they were going to be solid, but they've been playing out of their fucking minds. And I think the, I mean, the pass rush is crazy.

Speaker 1 The secondary, the secondary can scare me at times. Like, that last drive, you know, we were, we just kind of,

Speaker 1 I would like to have one, one more great fucking DB, but whatever. We can, we can figure that out next year.
But I do think this, this team has, has played fucking awesome. I believe in Lamar.

Speaker 1 Things are lining up nice, especially if we get Andrews back. That would be fucking crazy.
But if we get him back for the playoffs, even though I like likely, I think he's fucking good too.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, I'm all over the place because this team,

Speaker 1 the highs have been so high and the lows have been so low. It's a classic, it's a classic team that just doesn't let you enjoy anything.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And Lamar, he's going through his seasonal affective diarrhea that he has.

Speaker 1 Which I respect, again, I respect.

Speaker 5 It's like right after Thanksgiving and the holidays, eating a lot of greasy food. Absolutely.
He just takes like Tuesdays, Wednesdays off every week.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 just to shit himself. Which, again, I like to see myself and my quarterback.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Shitting myself, shitting too much has affected my career.
Yeah. A lot.

Speaker 1 It happens every year. He just has like a week where it's like, hey, what's going on with Lamar? Pepto is the MVP of my December, without question.
Oh, I said it after Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 If you had like, if I had like died and they did a coronary like, you know, autopsy, they'd be like, this man is 98% Pepto. Yeah, dude.
How is this possible? He doesn't have blood blood anymore.

Speaker 1 And the Pepto shits are weird. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They're green. Yeah.
You think you're dying? Or jet black sometimes? Yeah. Yeah.
Jet black is tough. Yeah.
No, I take Pepto like multivitamins this time of year.

Speaker 1 Every day I wake up and take a couple just to be safe. Just trying to stay on paths.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's like our only thing that we do as guys to monitor our health is we turn around, we look in the toilet after we shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's how we know for sure.

Speaker 1 I currently, the last month, I'm dying. Yeah.
Based on

Speaker 1 ribbons out there. It's like, can I get a nice long?

Speaker 1 Can I know that I'm healthy like a horse?

Speaker 5 I've got like three packets of Zen in my shit.

Speaker 1 I got to cut down the niggas like corn kernels. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, dude. I'm not digesting these.

Speaker 1 It is sick. I have to say, it's incredible to watch Flacco, dude.
Yeah. It just feels right.

Speaker 1 He just, no matter what, his spiral is just so fucking good. Well, that's what it is.
It's like

Speaker 1 a girl you dated in college and you've drifted apart, you know? And it's like now

Speaker 1 we're in our 50s and I see her at a wedding and it's like, you know, she's a little worse for wear, the wrinkles are whatever.

Speaker 1 But that rack is still sinking. That's Flacco's spiral, dude.
It's like a great pair of titties that never sags.

Speaker 1 No matter how fucking old Flacco gets, you could put him theoretically, I think, into his 50s.

Speaker 1 If he's behind the best offensive line in the league, I think he could play forever just fucking tossing those beautiful spirals.

Speaker 1 And whether it's, it's so, it's so exciting, too, because it's like touchdown, P.I., or the worst interception you've ever seen in your life. All three are in play.
Yes. At

Speaker 1 every single time he drops back. And it just kills me.
It's for the fucking Browns. Yeah.
It fucking kills me to see on the fucking Browns. And they don't even give him the...

Speaker 1 Who wears five in the Browns? Who's got five? Why the fuck did the disrespect giving Flacco 15? Yeah, he's five. It's just crazy.
That's true.

Speaker 5 It's definitely not a retired number, right? Yeah, but it is true.

Speaker 1 Flacco has that. When Flacco unleashes one, you're like, this is going to rock.
Fucking off.

Speaker 1 This is either going to be an awesome completion, an interception, or a hilarious ball that's like 15 yards past the receiver. Yeah, so it's somebody in the fucking stands.
He's the man.

Speaker 5 Sometimes he throws it like almost straight up in the air. Like, you remember playing that game 500 with your friend?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes, yeah.

Speaker 5 That's what Flacco does with his deep balls. Yes.
Throws it up to the sky.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful. But that, okay, we talked about the numbers a little bit.
Here's my, like, I'm starting to get a little bit of an old man take.

Speaker 1 This is my most Republican take, where it's like, the numbers have gotten out of control. Yeah.
We have to rein it back a little bit. Like, there's too many cool numbers out there.

Speaker 1 You have to be, like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's still, like, I think, first of all, the zeros, to be number zero, you have to be the best guy on your fucking team.

Speaker 1 There's got to be a rule where it's like, to have a weird number, you have to be awesome. Pro Bowl.
I'm seeing too many fucking benches. Pro Bowl, absolutely.
Yeah. All pro.
Zero is all pro.

Speaker 1 And then I think you have to decide only one guy in each position groups gets a cool number. Yeah.
Because that way it pops.

Speaker 1 If you see a zero, which the the Ravens are a great example, Roquan is zero. That's fucking awesome, right? He deserves it.
But it's like, I want to see a couple 50s around him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't want to see fucking cool numbers. It's like, and we can't get to the point where kickers have, kickers are in the 40s, they're in the 60s.
Yeah. It's not fucking college.

Speaker 1 Let's show some fucking respect to the get to the National Football League. Yeah, when a wide receiver group doesn't have anyone in the 80s, you're like, this is wrong.
No, so wrong.

Speaker 1 There should be a rule where it's like, the NFLs decide there has to be one, two awesome receivers have to take 81 and 84 each year. Two pro bowlers.
One has to have 81, one has to have 84.

Speaker 1 It's fucked up for not to be a cool 81 or 84.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like take, there's a whole group of kids in America that are going to be like 10 and 11 are the coolest numbers for wide receivers. What? Sucks, dude.

Speaker 5 Your fattest receiver should wear 88. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Always. Like in a blocking title.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Like I still liked when a fucking, like, linebacker, a linebacker wearing 40 so he could technically be a fullback.
That was cool.

Speaker 1 Like, that's the coolest that you get, or 30. Yeah.
That was always sick when the linebacker had 30.

Speaker 1 But even, like, it's getting out of control and like clowny i love that he's fucking rejuvenated on the ravens he's played fucking awesome it's fucking weird he's wearing 24 it is really sick it's fucking weird you're right it does look like college football yeah and i hate that like and look i'm not a i know you guys love college i'm a fucking pro football guy that's all that's the football i like Fucking edge rushers need to be wearing 90s or if you're really fucking cool, maybe a 50, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe you go LT with it or whatever the fuck. And if you're running back

Speaker 5 single number, then you have to also return punts. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That should be the, you can't. You have to be fast.
You can't be a fat running back with a single number. I was saying you should get into college football.
It's the best. It's just too much.

Speaker 1 I know, but it's. And listen, I'll pop into the big game.
I treat it like, you know, I watch all the big games. I watch the, you know, I'm happy when there's high-level football on a Saturday.

Speaker 1 That's fucking sick. Like, I liked rooting just on principle against Alabama.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 the SEC championship was cool, but

Speaker 1 I can't commit to another. I love

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 1 I'm barely keeping it together between hoops.

Speaker 1 I will say the NFL has burrowed back into my life. And when we first met, I actually was not, I was barely watching the NFL because of Lamar.

Speaker 1 How much I love Lamar has really gotten me fully back into the NFL like when I was a teenager. So it's, I can see a world where I get into college all over the place, but it's too much.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of time. It's a lot of time.
It's a lot of iron. And I like cherry-picking.
I like just watching the good ones. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's the bad ones though, the bad.

Speaker 1 Where she's like, this isn't even football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The fucking, who is it, Iowa, that just has just a good punter? His punt. Yeah, they had a thousand more punt yards than offensive yards.
I mean, you have an illness. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That you're saying that with glee is crazy. It's so much fun to watch.

Speaker 1 No, because watching a team like Iowa play football, it's so much fun because you're like, if they just keep it a one-score game, they will get like a punt block or a punt return. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they'll win the game and people will be so mad. Like, how'd this happen again? That's That's a team where everyone should have to wear a number in the 60s.

Speaker 1 Even the quarterback should have to be wearing like 63.

Speaker 1 Duplicate numbers.

Speaker 5 It's a great game to have on a secondary TV. It's a great side dish of shit.
Sure, sure. If that's your main course, if you're an Iowa fan, you fucking hate it.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And you hate that other people, you get embarrassed. Of course.

Speaker 1 And other people are watching your team.

Speaker 5 You're like, please don't watch my team. It affects me personally.
Of course. Let me put you on a new like old man Yells at Cloud thing that we've noticed this year.
Please.

Speaker 5 Have you noticed the mouthpieces?

Speaker 1 Yes, Yes, I have. The dangly mouthpieces.

Speaker 1 It's so fucked up how old I'm getting, Roman. That's not safe.
Yeah, like I'll just be watching a guy running. I'm like, oh, watch out, buddy.

Speaker 5 I think not only is it not safe, I think that if you look at digs or some of the guys that have like the big mouthpieces that flop around, that flops in their field of vision sometimes. Right.

Speaker 5 When they're trying to catch a ball, like you can't tell me that that doesn't affect you a little bit. Totally, totally.
And some guys, this is where it's getting so, so bad.

Speaker 1 That's cool again.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the two mouthpieces.

Speaker 1 One for show and one for go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up.

Speaker 5 There's a dude on Georgia that had three mouthpieces.

Speaker 1 He was wearing one.

Speaker 5 He had one hanging from his face mask, and then he had another one in his interrogation.

Speaker 1 All right, that is fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 I do think the big ones are so big. Like, DK wears one that's like almost like, is this a fetish sex thing? Yeah, it's a pacify.

Speaker 1 What's going on here? Does he want a giant woman to just fucking cradle him and suck his dick while she's doing it? Like, what's going on? I'm like, he's into something interesting.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You mentioned basketball. Yes.
So,

Speaker 1 oh, by the way, Anthony Walker, linebacker is five on the Browns. That's bullshit.
Get the fuck out of here. That's bullshit.
That's bullshit.

Speaker 1 How happy are you that Giannis resigned? Because I know that there was probably, in the back of your head, your guy, Sam Morrell, who was on the show,

Speaker 1 was doing some heavy recruiting. I was with Sam.
Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 I like Milwaukee. I love Ez of City.
It's fun, but I would have loved if Giannis left. Like, I would have loved if he was in.
I guess that's true. You're just rooting for Giannis.

Speaker 1 I'm just nothing to do with the fuck. I have nothing to do with Milwaukee.
I was with Sam Drake. You should have seen our text.
There's a couple days where it's like, I think it's happening, dude.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Where it's like, I think, you know, he's like, he's like, I DM'd Thanasis. He said, he gave me a winky face.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, the fucking dots he was connecting were so fucking funny. And the thing is, Thanasi, I think he almost did sign with the Knicks, and that would have really gotten me going.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 But I dude, I mean, I'm happy that he's with Dame. I know they have some shit to figure out.

Speaker 1 More than anything, what scares me about the Bucks is the coach. I just think, like, rookie coach, and then, you know, he chased off,

Speaker 1 fuck, the old Blazers coach, Terry, what the fuck, Stots?

Speaker 1 He was supposed to be like his main assistant, which I always love when a new coach has like a guy who's done it before. And just to kind of, he, they left in a shouting match.
It's scared.

Speaker 1 It's a little scary, especially because, fucking, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I hate to say that Boston's good, but it's funny when they're, it seems like their whole team is kind of, without Porzingis, they kind of fall apart, which is hilarious to think about.

Speaker 1 But I'm happy for him. I think it's cool just to have two awesome guys on the same team, no matter what.
Even if you would say it would be more sound to have kept Drew just because of the defense.

Speaker 1 Dame and Giannis are fucking awesome. Sports at the end of the day is like rooting for sick shit.
Yes. It's rooting for sick shit.
It's cool shit that you've never seen. Cool shit, dude.

Speaker 1 The cool shit fucking ceiling is sky high with Dame and Giannis on the same fucking team in the playoffs. Are you kidding me? Like, two clutch motherfuckers with completely different skill sets.

Speaker 1 It's going to be awesome. That's why, I mean, back to the last time I was on here when we were like, I was worried Lamar was going to leave.

Speaker 1 I was like, just fucking pay him because I want to root for Lamar. I don't fucking, even if we don't win,

Speaker 1 all the Sundays of fun that I get with the fucking crazy spin moves that. That's what it's all about.
And that's why it's like, yeah, fuck it.

Speaker 1 I don't care if the Bucs, like, I don't care like if analytically it was not the right thing or some people claim it's not. I'm still not convinced.
It's fucking awesome. Those guys fucking rule.

Speaker 1 I was also just so happy because it was, it's always great when, like, a city like Milwaukee sticks it to Miami. Totally.
That is. And, like, a New Yorker.
A win for fat people again. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You guys don't get everything.
Yes, yes. And it's also not, we're not living in like 30 years ago where, yes, if he was in New York, he would probably be a bigger star.

Speaker 1 But I'm convinced that like with the way pro sports have gone, like Instagram has changed the game.

Speaker 1 You can hook up with anyone

Speaker 1 anywhere. Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, a lot of it was like, oh, I want to be in a big city market because I want to be a star and have all these women. Of course.
You're fine now.

Speaker 1 You're fine, dude. You fly them out, no problem.

Speaker 1 You need her a Delta hub, probably.

Speaker 1 That's the other thing, though. It's probably been good for Giannis because I've said this again.
Two of the most powerful cheating energies is Greek and African. And he's been a family man.

Speaker 1 He's a family man. He's a family man.
You put him in New York.

Speaker 1 All that time in Athens might take over.

Speaker 1 He might have to fucking cheat on his wife. What is it about the Greeks that make them cheating? It's a cheating culture.

Speaker 5 Is it just the guys or the guys and the girls?

Speaker 1 That's a great point. I think it's, I'm more familiar with the guy, you know, the classic, just like, it's just like, you know, men thinking they're, like, the patriarchy is very strong.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And it's like, it's just like, oh, yeah, you can get a little pussy on the side and still be a good dad and husband. Just blowing off some steam.
Come on.

Speaker 1 The guys need a break, too. Guys need a break.
Put on your, you know, know, go get a silk shirt, button it all the way, you know, button it down four buttons. Get the gold out.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Go get a little fuck. You're on vacation.
What? You're not going to get head on the sneak on vacation. I guess I'm not going to go to the beach either on vacation.
Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 I paid for this.

Speaker 1 I deserve to blow off some steam.

Speaker 1 I work hard. I work fucking hard, barely managing a diner.
I deserve some pussy.

Speaker 1 I'm a really shitty contractor. I deserve to cheat.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I have could be on the phone three times a week with Cisco.

Speaker 1 Make sure they brought over the phone. I was in Calamari.

Speaker 1 I get to get some strange information. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I know you talk about your dad and your state of it. Has he ever said anything like, hey, what the fuck? No, not really.
Really? I think, you know, he said a couple, you know, he's been like, come on.

Speaker 1 You know, he's like, you know, everybody thinks he's made like veiled illusions where he won't just be like, he's like, yeah, and you get to say whatever you want about me. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, he'll say some shit like that, but it's like, all right, man, well, you know, this, in a weird way, that did make our family like

Speaker 1 my dad, the problems I've had with my father, in a weird way, have turned around to like, they sort of provide for our family because they turned into bits that like got me noticed and that like made me have a ton of money that now it's like, all right, somebody has a problem in the family because you cheated,

Speaker 1 we can cover medical bills.

Speaker 1 You're enabling him. He's like, oh, I'm a

Speaker 1 great dad, I'm a dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's come back around and he's an awesome dad again. You're lucky that I cheated.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 We're getting it going, man. I've been hanging out with my dad again.
He seems, you know, we're getting,

Speaker 1 you don't want to take too much fucking,

Speaker 1 I don't know. You don't want to hold too many grudges too long.
Well, I would imagine, too, like talking about it, it's like you're almost like having the conversation you don't want to have with him.

Speaker 1 Right. Wow.
It's out there. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. So it's like we didn't have the uncomfortable like, hey, dad.
Right. You never have to have it in person.
You can do it on stage.

Speaker 1 He watches it, and then we can go. We can literally go have Kalamari at his friends' at his friend's diner.

Speaker 1 Never have to, like, address it head-on, like men should never do. Exactly.
You got a problem with someone? You just

Speaker 1 deal with them. Actually, Hank, if you have any issues with your father, now's the hour.
Hit him out there, dude. You know what I mean? Like, there's, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, your stand-up is so fucking funny, man. Thank you, brother.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Have you been just traveling everywhere? That's the one thing I don't. Does it ever get old where, like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 because I like when we had Sam on who you're very close friends with, he was like, I'm addicted to stand-up. So it's like...
Yeah, Sam has a real problem. Right.
Sam has a like, I mean, we all do.

Speaker 1 It's different. But it's like, there's a lot of comedians who don't want to be with their thoughts for even one second.
Right.

Speaker 1 And so you're constantly thinking up, bitch, or constantly doing this shit. And it does get too much.
And I was, I think I probably, I think I probably kicked the

Speaker 1 I kicked the addiction of pure stand-up. And I was just like, let me just get...

Speaker 1 I just wanted to have a Netflix, I want to have like one, a big special on like a, on a, like, mainstream platform, and I'm ready to chill, dude. Right.

Speaker 1 Um, I'm ready to just fuck, because it does get, you know, you get fucking bored of just like hotels and shit all the time, and never being home.

Speaker 1 And like, I've probably been home in the last two years, I've been away from my house much more than I've been in my house cumulatively. It's not even close.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've probably been, I've probably been home like 10 days straight like five times. Right.
Like, it's fucking,

Speaker 1 it's always always been like a little like uh going around, but you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 I can't, at the end of the day, it's like I don't want a real fucking job, and I can't complain because this happened because I got lucky and got successful the last couple years.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, you know, that feeling of like, what if this goes away? Like, that's really why I've been on the road non-stop, where I'm like, this could go away tomorrow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so I got to fuck it. And people are buying ticket.
I think there's like some post-COVID shit happening where everyone likes to be. And I think comedy's in an interesting place where

Speaker 1 the experience is pretty good compared to a lot of other live shit. Look, football is great.
Going to a football game sucks. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's so much better in your house. Same thing with concerts.
I'm old now, dude. I'm not going to stand around for four fucking hours.
I need to sit down if I'm going anywhere out.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, I don't think people are going to see live music as much. They're not, or they are, but it's like comedy is just like, look, sit down, have a nice time, have a couple drinks, laugh.

Speaker 1 It is. It's a good, it's a really good.

Speaker 1 And as like, like, technology is making football and concerts and shit less appealing, whereas technology makes it so that you get to find out about stand-ups and then it'll never take over the live experience.

Speaker 1 Right. Because a stand-up show is, again, every show is different, everything's special, especially if you fuck with the crowd even a little bit.
You at least feel like you've affected.

Speaker 1 And even if a comedian doesn't do any crowd work, the energy of that crowd affects every show.

Speaker 1 So it's like this cool thing where I think we got really lucky as an art form where it's like people find us and then they come see us and it's better live.

Speaker 1 The other thing that I think comedy has going for it, and I'm obviously

Speaker 1 very much, you know guilty of this but going to a comedy show unlike a concert or a sports game they you can't take out your phone right so you literally just sit there

Speaker 1 and you like are in the moment for one hour and like we are all just slaves to our phone and so having that like restriction where they walk up and down they're like no phones like this is actually kind of nice yeah yeah yeah for ones for what yeah you just put put away your instagram and just listen to a man talk about his little penis for one hour it is what what you brought up though about like uh it all going away i i That is why I love your comedy and love you as a friend too, because it's like it is, there are certain people who you can tell they probably take it for granted, but you don't.

Speaker 1 No, dude. And like I, I mean, we have the same moments where like probably three times a week, I'm like, this is my fucking lifeline.
Dude, this is incredible.

Speaker 1 Like when I, when I, when I, like, my kids are like, are you going to work? And they're like, what are you going to do at work? I'm like, I'm going to watch football.

Speaker 1 I can't help you with your fucking homework. Like, I'm watching.
I'm like, fucking three-leg parlay that's about to hit. My job is to watch TV.
I'm going to go to watch. What the fuck?

Speaker 5 I'm going to watch football for six hours. Then I'm going to play a little bit of basketball.

Speaker 1 And then I got a golf simulator.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't come to the recital. Me and Uncle Jerry might lose $50,000 today.
And it'll be funny for people to watch us lose it. Oh, I had that moment on Saturday with Army Navy.

Speaker 1 I explained my son is starting to get interested in sports. And he was like, Army Navy was on.
He's like, which team are we rooting for?

Speaker 1 And I had the over, and I was like, no, no, no, we're rooting for whoever has the ball.

Speaker 1 How old is he? Six? four and a half four and a half so he'll just ask

Speaker 1 the over the concept of the over and four and a half he always says like are we rooting for the blue team or the white team I was like whoever has the ball we're rooting for now

Speaker 1 that's our favorite team you have warped that child's understanding of competition so much well listen I I've said many times on record like three kids I got one in three shot here I want one of the kids to just get smart enough at math that they can make me a gambler a system that's it that would be my goal like they one day yeah they come and they're like hey dad check this out and I go to their computer it's an XL form.

Speaker 1 Right. And they're like, look at this.

Speaker 1 And they're like, I back tested it. It's 54%.
Yeah. Thank you.
The proudest phone about life. Taking over the family business.
Yeah, yeah. Improving it a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're the best.

Speaker 1 Barely losing. Yeah.
It's like, wow. Find a way for me to barely lose.
That's beautiful. Yeah, he's going to be playing.
He's going to be playing kickball. He's going to be like taking the under

Speaker 1 in fucking recess. It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Catch that, catch that, catch that. That would be fucking awesome.

Speaker 5 You're going to think he's maybe like a participation trophy kid because he's rooting for the other team.

Speaker 5 He just thinks that sports is about everybody scoring.

Speaker 1 Every root scoring. He's like, no, I got five Laffy Taffies on the over.

Speaker 1 That would make me proud. It would make me proud.
When is the first time, what was the first wager you ever placed?

Speaker 1 It was the first bet I ever won was when I was 12 years old on a family vacation in Key West, Florida. I won $100 on a turtle race.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was it. That was it.
I was like, I got $100 for this. And from that moment on, I was like, this fucking rock.
Wow. Imagine the fucking alternate universe where you lost.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're just some fucking guy. I probably would have just been staying at the bar and chasing it.
Yeah, yeah. No, but that was the moment where it all clicked.
I was like, that was fucking fun.

Speaker 1 I fucking won because a turtle went a little bit faster than the other slow-ass turtles. That's awesome.

Speaker 5 Have you ever seen the turtle races? They're amazing.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 You dump a bunch of turtles out in a circle, and then the first one to make it to the outside of the circle is the best. You just sit there screaming at turtle races.

Speaker 1 That sounds fun. Yeah, and I got a crisp $100 bill in my business.
You were like $12.

Speaker 1 A hundo back then was serious. Oh, dude.
That's awesome. The absolute best.

Speaker 1 That's a new copy of Madden. Yeah.
A couple fucking cheese steaks.

Speaker 1 Whatever you want. Whatever you want.
100 goes along. Watching the movies a little bit.

Speaker 1 Beautiful, dude. All right, so what's next? I'll do the last question.

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Speaker 1 What's the next year? Is it just travel, travel, travel, or is there like something big on the horizon? No, bro. I'm fucking taking some time.
Like,

Speaker 1 I feel like the last, every time I've been here, I've talked about how I'm going to take some time off. Yeah, you're just like us.
There's no... But it's happening.

Speaker 1 It's the worst feeling in life is to be the guy, and this happens to me all the time where I'm like, just got to get through this week. Yes, dude.

Speaker 1 It's been been that for 10 years yeah yeah i say that every week i'm like what the fuck i swear i swear to you i will be taking like i'm not touring for a lot of next year like i'm i'm pushing it way to the end of next year i am actually taking some time off i did a movie uh called let's start a cult that hopefully we're trying to get into some festivals i wrote it with some buddies i was in it so i'm trying to you know trying to be hollywood halkeist a little bit trying to act a little bit um but honestly i'm just trying to chill and like be a human being like live in i haven't lived in i love new york great city I know you guys just abandoned us but it was fun and it's like I want to actually live there you know so I'm just gonna try and chill you know stop his world still I'm really proud of the special and that kind of the way those work they kind of bounce around for like you know six months people just discover it and so I'm just gonna like put my you know put my feet up hang out chill out try and get slightly less fat where I don't have to worry about dying every time I take a bunch of drugs you know I don't want it's it's tough when you have an awesome night and you're like I got fucked up I ate fucking ribs.

Speaker 1 I got took, maybe I took a dick pill or two. And then you're after a beautiful night.
You're just laying in your bed. You're like, damn, I hope I wake up.

Speaker 1 My chest hurts. I'm fucking breathing.

Speaker 1 My heart rate is up and I'm just relaxing in theory. So trying to get slightly less fat.
And yeah, dude, I'm just going to chill, go to some fucking Knicks games, go to some Ravens games.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get to, I'm trying to, I'm thinking about going to the Dolphins game to just, even though it's better to be at your house, it's like, I feel like I need to just one of these games.

Speaker 1 And I've been on the road every other game, so I might get there. So, yeah, dude, just chilling the fuck out.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that will like re-energize your material too, just being like a normal human being. Well, that's the other thing.
It's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 you can't really,

Speaker 1 I even felt like at the end of this year, I was just doing a little too much about traveling and about, and it's like, that's not what being a human being is. Right.

Speaker 1 And there's so many, I am so stunted in so many other ways that it'd be nice to fill it in a little bit. You know what I mean? Like, not just be a guy who goes around, does stand-up and shit.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, be, have some fucking life experiences and just, yeah, hopefully come back the next year with an even better special because I actually like took some time and like, yeah, you know, lived life.

Speaker 6 How does one find material?

Speaker 1 Where do you discover it? I would say just take a year off, Hank, and just

Speaker 1 go there. Yeah, you got to play.
But I would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. I was going to say no golf.
Just walk around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what if we could make a Faustian bargain where it's like, no golf, but you'll have the best hour of comedy ever. Would you do it? No.

Speaker 1 Damn, was it ever, bro? It's only an hour. I can fucking bomb for an hour.

Speaker 1 What about some golf trick shots in your hour? Yeah, that I can do. It would be funny if you had like the, you know,

Speaker 1 he bombs at the trick shots. That'd be funny.
Yeah, but not even having.

Speaker 6 He's not passing balls in the audience.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not having the stand-up mic, but having the headset mic, like you're a preacher.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's good.
Walking around.

Speaker 1 preacher janet jackson even yeah like the you should do uh you should you should uh fabricate a story about your lurid affair with the the lady from fucking from the airport video oh

Speaker 1 fabricate okay all right

Speaker 1 you should talk in detail about about what happened he's had on true events that would be hank's kiss and tell where you just get real graphic kiss and tell with every sexual experience you've ever had yeah but like insanely graphic yeah real gravity.

Speaker 1 Talk about like, you know, pubes and ingrown hairs and shit like that.

Speaker 1 Just gross everyone out. I believe in you, Hank.

Speaker 5 I think Hank, whatever he does, it's going to be funny for us.

Speaker 5 You might be just sweating your ass up on stage, but I will have a great time.

Speaker 1 I say, I just have to hit variety, Hank, because... It will not be.
Even it would be funny. Even for you guys, it would run out in like 10 minutes if he's just bombing for an hour.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you going to be at the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 If the Ravens are there, I will. But if not.
All right. So if you're at the Super Bowl, maybe we'll get Stav to do 50 minutes opening.
I'd love to, if I'm there, I would love to be.

Speaker 6 What about the fuckers?

Speaker 1 Well, no, they'll do it too, but like Stav will open maybe MC the night or something. I'd love

Speaker 1 to see the night. I'd love to.
Because then people would be like, oh, we're actually going to see. And it would be very funny to see you do like a tight 20

Speaker 1 hours and stuff. What are we watching?

Speaker 1 Do you ever

Speaker 6 equate your stand-up to how many laughs you're trying to get in an hour?

Speaker 6 I was like, if I can get one or or two laughs, like, that'll be good.

Speaker 1 You'll get one or two in an hour?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Yeah.
We talk about laughs.

Speaker 6 But, like, for you, like, obviously, like, a pro, a pro, like, you're looking for, but do you have a number in mind, or is that like just a?

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess if I really had to ballpark it, I think of the average of two a minute. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a lot of laughter. That's a lot of laughter.

Speaker 6 All right, so we'll go like five laughs.

Speaker 5 Have you ever like watched Friends, and there's a, there's a laugh every like five seconds? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's insane. No, I mean, it is, if you really start thinking about like how to tighten your shit up.
Like, I was worried about that on the special.

Speaker 1 I was like, I want this shit to, because I tell a story in it, too. And I'm like, even the story, I need to have

Speaker 1 parts where there's laughter.

Speaker 1 I get real nervous when there's no laughter.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, you'll be all right, Hank. Just honestly,

Speaker 1 if it's 60 minutes and you have like...

Speaker 1 If you have like fucking eight segments, you'll be fine. You know what I mean? You got this.
All right. That's good.
That's good.

Speaker 6 Good planning. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 Well, Stavi, it's always great having you on. Boy,

Speaker 1 We're going to have to convince you to do like a full week here. I will.
Especially when you're taking time off. How about this?

Speaker 1 When it's actually, when it's like, because the summer here is out of control, which is so nice. I'll be back in the summer for at least a week to hang out.
Do your own pod. You can hang out with us.

Speaker 1 Do some pods. We'll get in shape.

Speaker 1 Yep. Work out.
You're going to have a squat rack over there to the bottom. Yes, to do the

Speaker 1 beach rack. I mean, I will definitely be back in the summer for sure.
Okay. Hell yeah.
I love it. Appreciate you, fellas.
Thank you, guys.

Speaker 1 Whenever go watch Fat Rascal on Netflix.

Speaker 20 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 21 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 20 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 20 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 21 Snickers satisfies, man.

Speaker 9 That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest for one question with the quarterback. It is Heisman Trophy winner Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 1 First of all, congratulations. Incredible, incredible season.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that it's been a whirlwind. So we're going to do one question.
I'll start.

Speaker 1 My question for you, Jaden, is you win the Heisman, and then you know how the internet works. People pulling receipts from,

Speaker 1 you know, maybe when you transferred from Arizona State, how satisfying was it to be like people had it wrong when they thought that, you know, like I was making a mistake or that I wasn't good?

Speaker 1 Because that had to have been an all-time, all-time, like, what are you going to say now? I just won the Heisman.

Speaker 22 I'll say, you know, I ain't going to lie. It was pretty satisfying.

Speaker 22 You know, everybody that doubted me from Arizona State, you you know, it's just, you know, I'm happy that,

Speaker 22 you know, I proved them wrong at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's got incredible.

Speaker 5 It's got to be great. My, my question is about the Heisman trophy itself.
First of all, it's really heavy. So I'm just curious to know how you've been taking it around.

Speaker 5 Like, did you take it out to dinner with you that night? Did you take it on a plane? What was the process like bringing the actual trophy around?

Speaker 22 So I didn't take it out to dinner with me at night, but I lay, I slept it, I slept with it in the bed. It slept right next to me.

Speaker 22 When we came back, I had it on the plane in his own seat. So it's heavy.
So, you know, he can't walk too far with it. Your arms will start getting tired.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Did you buckle it in on the seat next to you?

Speaker 22 No, nah.

Speaker 22 It was just in right there.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
All right, Jake, why don't you ask your question?

Speaker 13 Hey, Jaden, Jake Marsh, part of my take podcast. Congratulations on winning the Heisman.
My question has to do with your pregame meal.

Speaker 13 At one point, you went with subway sandwiches, but now it's been reported that you go with an omelet and two waffles.

Speaker 1 How did that come to be?

Speaker 13 And can we expect that tradition to continue or maybe change once you go to the next level? Good question, Chief.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 22 I don't know. That's a good question.

Speaker 22 Good question. I don't know.
I just ain't feel, I don't like eating too heavy. So like an omelet is cool.
And then we got some fire waffles here at LSU. So usually I just grab two waffles.

Speaker 22 I don't want to, I don't be grabbing like four or five. I feel too heavy.

Speaker 5 Two waffles is actually the perfect amount.

Speaker 5 If I were like a scout or an NFL GM and I asked a prospective quarterback, like, how many waffles do you eat before a game?

Speaker 5 If you say you eat two waffles,

Speaker 5 you're skyrocketing up my big board right now. If you say one waffle, that's candy ass.
I don't want that. I want two waffles.

Speaker 1 It's facts. That's facts.
All right, Max, what do you got?

Speaker 11 Hey, Jaden, this is Max, part of my take podcast.

Speaker 11 This question is something we do for all college athletes that come on the show.

Speaker 11 I'll name a list of random cities throughout the United States, just completely random cities. And you're going to tell me which one is your favorite.
I'm going to start with D.C., Washington, D.C.,

Speaker 1 New York City, Boston, Atlanta, and Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 Random

Speaker 1 random cities.

Speaker 1 The random cities.

Speaker 22 Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Interesting.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 Mark Davis doesn't really eat waffles. He's more P.F.
Chang's guy. But again, this was random.
This was totally random, the cities we just listed.

Speaker 1 All right, memes, you got a question?

Speaker 1 How far can you throw a football? Oh, good question. Good question.

Speaker 22 That's a great question. I think

Speaker 22 probably over 70.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Hey, now.

Speaker 22 On a good day.

Speaker 1 Hey, now, what was the, this isn't a question, it's more just a question. What was the farthest you'd thrown it in the game?

Speaker 22 I don't even know.

Speaker 22 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Good question, though.

Speaker 1 Boy, it wasn't a question.

Speaker 5 If I could throw a football 70 yards, I would just go outside and just throw things all the time just to see how far they go.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Hank, do you have a question?

Speaker 6 Yeah, Jaden, Henry Locken, part of my take. How you doing?

Speaker 1 Congrats on the Hollywood. That's your question.
How are you doing?

Speaker 1 What's on the pregame playlist for a

Speaker 6 Heisenberg winner? What are you listening to before a big game?

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 22 Honestly, i listen to some young boy little baby uh drake and ride wave

Speaker 22 you know two to get me hyped up and two to kind of like calm me back down as i get closer

Speaker 22 yeah yeah all right do you have a question for us who did y'all on y'all bets who did y'all put to win the bullet in the call oh

Speaker 5 uh marvin harrison jrvin harrison jr definitely marvin harrison jr i have nothing but respect for marvin harrison jr and his father oh no i did uh i actually did malik

Speaker 1 I don't know if you know him.

Speaker 22 I don't.

Speaker 22 I'll try to play.

Speaker 22 I'll go watch him

Speaker 22 turn on his tape.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 This isn't a question either, but when you were putting up eight touchdowns against Georgia State,

Speaker 1 that was like a video game.

Speaker 22 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 That seemed like the funnest time ever. You were just in the zone.

Speaker 22 Yeah, football is fun at the end of the day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, this isn't a question, but if any of us in this room,

Speaker 1 maybe me, went to the University of Wisconsin and wanted to see their team win on New Year's Day, would they have to beat Jaden Daniels, PFT? Hypothetically,

Speaker 5 I think if I were Jaden Daniels, I would probably get ready to go to the next level.

Speaker 1 I'd probably want to prepare.

Speaker 5 I probably want to spend some time working on the details, maybe go out to a training camp where I specifically work on the 40 time, all that stuff to prepare you for the NFL combine.

Speaker 1 Jaden, hypothetically, if you were Jaden Daniels,

Speaker 1 what would happen in the bowl game, hypothetically?

Speaker 22 I would just say, you know, he still doesn't have to be the LSU team with Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 we're going to see. Oh, no.

Speaker 5 I got another question, but it's not for you, Jaden.

Speaker 5 It's for Big Cat. Big Cat, if you were Jaden Daniels and Brian Kelly invited you on a recruiting visit and he made you stand in that circular thing where he did a little dance.

Speaker 5 How hard would you have to try not to laugh while that picture was being taken?

Speaker 1 It would be hard for me not to laugh.

Speaker 5 What about you, Jaden, if you were Jaden Daniels?

Speaker 22 Yeah, I'll be laughing. I wouldn't lie.

Speaker 1 I'll be laughing.

Speaker 22 Most definitely, hands down.

Speaker 22 But

Speaker 22 the other thing is, you know, with the whole Wisconsin thing, you know, it's just TVD. You know, okay, TVD, hypothetically.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 22 TVD, hypothetically, to be determined if Jaden Daniels,

Speaker 22 if I was him, to step foot out there against Wisconsin or not. So it's TVD.

Speaker 1 It's TVD. Hypothetically speaking, of course, because you're not Jaden Daniels, but you're speaking hypothetically, if you were Jaden Daniels.
I am. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Jaden, congrats again, man. Unbelievable.
I mean, we love LSU and the whole fan base. It's so much fun to watch.
I mean, you're a legend now forever there.

Speaker 1 Like, that's got to feel knowing that you're going to have a career in the the nfl it's going to go great but like you have like a home in lsu and all these fans will always like welcome you as a heisman winner it's got to be pretty cool feeling uh no most definitely it is uh just being up there you know how many grapes came through lsu so you know i'm happy to be a part of one yeah did did joe reach out to you joe burrow did he

Speaker 22 yeah he did he did i thought i talked to joe a couple times Yeah, he's pretty damn good.

Speaker 1 Pretty damn good at football. Pretty damn good.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you so much, Jaden.
Congrats on the Heisman. And if you happen to see Jaden Daniels around the campus, just let him know that, you know, you don't have to play in the bowl game.

Speaker 1 People will remember the Heisman. The bowl game doesn't even matter.
Like,

Speaker 1 no one cares.

Speaker 5 You get the nice gift pad. Yeah.

Speaker 22 I'll let him know once I see him if I run into him.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Perfect. Yeah.
Just let them know. Like, no one was going to judge you if you sit out of the bowl.

Speaker 1 In fact, if you see Jaden Daniels, you should tell Jaden Daniels that one of the biggest sports podcasts will actually commend Jaden Daniels' move to not play against Wisconsin in the bowl game.

Speaker 22 I love no.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, perfect, perfect. All right.
Thanks so much, Jaden. Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 22 Man, thank you guys.

Speaker 1 We drove 1,700 miles of old Highway 61, the whole country, top to bottom, just to prove one thing. Comfort food can make anywhere home.

Speaker 1 Crave New World makes the classics you grew up with cleaned up for right now. High protein, no fake stuff, no shortcuts.

Speaker 1 Bison meatloaf, chicken enchiladas, turkey lasagna, the kind of meals that taste like Saturday night, even on a Tuesday. Crave New World.
Find it in Kroger Isles this October.

Speaker 1 The road trip might be over, but dinner's just getting good. Okay, let's wrap up the show with some guys on chicks.
Great show, by the way, boys. Heisman trophy winner, fat rascal.

Speaker 1 Little bit of everything. Soundboard.
Soundboard, shohe,

Speaker 1 the Vito, football. Hey.

Speaker 1 Fucking talking to me? I'm Tommy DeVito. I'm the Packer Slayer.

Speaker 4 The Bears should actually sign Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 5 Every team should be so lucky to sign Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 1 Are those new glasses, by the way? They're old glasses.

Speaker 4 I didn't just notice that.

Speaker 5 I found them in my car.

Speaker 1 You're kind of in your

Speaker 1 late 60s Las Vegas vibe.

Speaker 5 I think it might be the facial hair, too.

Speaker 5 I've received several very alarming responses from people regarding my facial hair. Fuck them.

Speaker 5 Well, they're responses like, Are you okay?

Speaker 1 No, fuck them.

Speaker 5 Or like trying to figure out if there's something wrong.

Speaker 1 People support our boys here.

Speaker 5 My facial hair is so bad right now that I'm turning people into Hugh Laurie from house, trying to figure out what mystery diagnosis I've got going on.

Speaker 5 Listen, every if you're facebald like me, once every year and a half, you got to try a heat check, see if maybe the facial hair grew in while you were shaving. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I don't think I'm at that point just yet, but it's probably

Speaker 5 by the time I'm, oh, it's not getting to you. By the time I'm 60, I'm going have a sick beard.
Yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 Hank, guys on chicks.

Speaker 6 Guys on chicks question. Thought this would be a good one with Christmas coming.
I'm an engineer, and I live in Utah. You'll see why this fact is important.

Speaker 1 Okay. And all of my co-workers are men.

Speaker 6 I have no idea what to get them for Christmas. Like, I don't want it to be weird, but also need something sort of general because they vary in age.

Speaker 6 I moved from the Midwest, and my go-to was always coffee, which definitely would have been Stella Blue this year, or funny socks.

Speaker 6 The problem here is a ton of them are Mormon and can't drink coffee and also don't think slightly inappropriate jokes are funny at all.

Speaker 1 Help.

Speaker 5 Okay, so.

Speaker 6 Engineer, Mormon, gifts for engineer Mormon men.

Speaker 5 Engineer Mormon guys.

Speaker 1 Fleshlight.

Speaker 5 I was going to say.

Speaker 5 Actually, I was going to say funny socks. Milk.

Speaker 5 I feel like funny socks is right up the alley of a Mormon. This is tough.
Name one wacky thing about you. Well, I really like.
I like fun socks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is tough.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 5 Cash?

Speaker 1 Cash Rowback.

Speaker 1 A Rowback gift card actually would be great because that's my, the biggest thing is when you're buying a gift for someone that you don't really know so well, you got to give them an option for an out.

Speaker 1 So if you get them a gift card, like they get to decide what they want. Whereas if you get them something like socks or something, like, well, I don't even wear socks.
So you got to give them the out.

Speaker 5 Aren't gift cards like massive scams? No, I don't think like 70% of

Speaker 5 your money doesn't get spent. Yeah, people forget.

Speaker 1 I've done my fair share of not spending gift cards. For sure.

Speaker 5 I think Jeff Bezos owes me $500 with all the Amazon cards I haven't spent.

Speaker 4 Let's see. Ice cream.

Speaker 5 Ice cream's good. Ice cream always plays.
Yeah. Get him some ice cream.

Speaker 1 Maybe like an ice cream.

Speaker 5 An ice cream. I would just say going back to Robeck, it sounds like you're in quarter zip central.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Just Q-zips. Good point.

Speaker 5 I can never have enough Q-zips.

Speaker 1 All those joggers. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 But keep it simple.

Speaker 1 Don't go crazy. Give them the option to buy something.
That's what you got to do.

Speaker 6 Hey, fellas. This may be a silly question, but a boy I really liked messaged me at 2 in the morning saying he heard a song when he's out at the bars, and it made him think of me.

Speaker 1 He didn't ask me to come over or anything else you'd expect at 2 a.m.

Speaker 6 And he's also never really been forward with expressing any feelings towards me. But the message kind of made me wonder, God, I sound like a teenager.
I think we need to know what's a song.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 here was it here's the good news for this uh woman um

Speaker 1 if you didn't text back right away or maybe you texted back right away um just know that he did jerk off thinking about you like 10 minutes later yeah that's literally what that text was he was trying he was like 2 a.m i'm gonna take my shot i'm kind of not i'm not feeling myself enough to really take my shot but yeah he was you don't get a 2 a.m text it's not a that's a horny text i think it does matter what song it was though if it was back that ass up

Speaker 5 from the window to the wall, that would be an issue.

Speaker 5 If it was, oh, I'm still dancing on my own, that would have been sad.

Speaker 1 He's freshman, bird pipe.

Speaker 5 Yeah, maybe he wants you to have a key word.

Speaker 5 It definitely depends on what song it was. It's basically the equivalent of, like, what if we kissed tonight.

Speaker 6 But if he's out of the bars, texting at 2 a.m.

Speaker 1 I don't think he was at the bars. I think he was home with his pants around his ankles.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And he definitely regretted sending that to you like 30 minutes after he sent it.

Speaker 1 30 minutes.

Speaker 5 Well, it could be an hour. Yeah.
Two hours.

Speaker 1 We last long.

Speaker 6 I said to my boyfriend, I can't believe winter begins next week. And we got into our annual seasons debate.
Every year he claims the calendar is obsolete. Yep.

Speaker 6 His seasonal calendar is fall runs from college football starting until the first Big Ten snow game.

Speaker 6 Winter starts then, and spring begins when the NCAA tournament starts. And summer starts the day after the Stanley Cup final ends.

Speaker 5 This guy's kind of right.

Speaker 6 Do all men disregard the calendar and judge seasons based on sports?

Speaker 5 Yeah, the fact that winter time starts on December 22nd, December 21st, is bullshit. Winter starts the day after Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 I was going to say winter's, I actually disagree. I think winter starts the day after January 1st.
You don't think December's winter? No, because it's festive.

Speaker 5 No, December's winter.

Speaker 1 But it's something to look forward to. Winter is like when it sucks.
That's all. January.
Like, December's a fun time because you got holiday parties. You can get drunk at any time.

Speaker 1 Like, when I think winter, I think January 2nd to March Madness. That's like when it sucks.
I know right after the Final Four.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 it's to the beginning of March Madness is spring.

Speaker 5 I think that Christmas is a winter holiday. It is.

Speaker 1 It's winter wonderland. It is.
It is, but it doesn't, winter doesn't suck when there are holidays in front of you.

Speaker 5 No, but it's still winter.

Speaker 1 Right, but it feels different. Like January, winter, and December, winter are two totally different beasts.

Speaker 5 I agree with that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One's fun winter. Maybe it's winter.
Yeah, fun winter and bad winter.

Speaker 5 Yeah, bad winter. All right.
January and February, it's basically like, let's get through this. That's hibernation time.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 Whereas like Thanksgiving to Christmas and New Year's is a fun stretch where it's like, we can get drunk at any time and be like, we're just festive right now.

Speaker 1 I think it's so fall does start the minute college football kicks off.

Speaker 1 People like to say, like, oh, yeah, like, it's actually whatever, like the third week of September. No, that's not true.
It's Labor Day. Labor Day is fall.

Speaker 1 And then I think fun winter is Thanksgiving to Chris or January 1st. Bad winter is January 2nd to the conference championship championship week.

Speaker 1 And then it's spring from conference championship week to like the NBA like semifinals.

Speaker 5 I would say that summer starts when the Pittsburgh Pirates are eliminated from playoff contention. That's like Memorial Day.

Speaker 1 So Memorial Day weekend. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But fun winter is like, I don't, December never bothers me. It could be cold, and in December, I'm like, who cares? Like, we're festive.
It's fun. Football's on all the time.

Speaker 1 It's when football starts to, when you get to the conference championship week and there's only two games and you're like, wait, I have to deal with this weather all week, and then there's only two games at the end of it?

Speaker 4 You know what the worst is?

Speaker 5 The worst is the Christmas commercials that start before Thanksgiving. Yeah.
Let Thanksgiving

Speaker 5 on its own. Thanksgiving happens.
It deserves all the accolades. It deserves its moment in the sun.

Speaker 5 It deserves the score bug on the bottom of the screen with the cornucopia, the leaves falling, the fruits, the meats, all that stuff. And then after, you can start with Macy's commercials.

Speaker 1 A buddy of mine has a genius idea that we should absolutely adopt.

Speaker 1 He calls it the two Christmas system where you have religious Christmas on December 25th and then Santa Christmas on January 25th. Okay.
So you get two Christmases.

Speaker 1 And it's basically a second Thanksgiving in the end of January.

Speaker 5 Listen, I'm all for more holidays.

Speaker 1 Like you go to church on December 25th or

Speaker 1 the night before. And then on the January one, it's like no religion involved.
You're just doing gifts and just pretending that Christmas is still around. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I also like Donnie's concept of Jaloon being the best month of the year. That's June 15th to July 15th.
I like that. That's solid.
I like that a lot.

Speaker 1 That's a solid stretch. That's a really solid stretch.

Speaker 6 We'll end it with this one. A little tie back to everything.
Oh.

Speaker 6 Hi, cowboy fan Hank, loser Max in the hunt big cat PFT and Mr. Positions.

Speaker 6 My boyfriend hasn't stopped walking around the house for the last two weeks, screaming Tommy DeVito and holding his fingers up to the air. And we've had chicken cutlets seven times in the last week.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 1 At what point should I be worried? This is okay.

Speaker 5 This is guys being dudes.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And

Speaker 1 what I'd say is, this is no different than Lin Sanity for Asian people. This is Tommy DeVito is that is Lynn sanity for Italians.
It is, Max. You know it is.
Like they have their moment in the sun.

Speaker 1 Italians get this moment. It will peter out.
We'll probably have a point where we'll reach maximum Tommy DeVito. That's going to be two games in a row.
Yeah. And also like...

Speaker 5 There'll be a 30 for 30 about Tommy DeVito in five years. It's going to be awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like when Tommy DeVito's dad is like,

Speaker 1 is like doing cameo and like and like pitching a bunch of stuff, everyone will be like, okay.

Speaker 5 Can I just make a request to everybody out there? I know that some people in the media listen to this podcast. Let's not dig too deep into Tommy DeVito's family.
No. Just

Speaker 1 let something fun happen. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And let's just all agree this is a fun thing. Let's not ruin it for anybody.

Speaker 1 No, not all Italians are in the mob if that's what you're trying to say. That's not what you're trying to say.

Speaker 5 Actually, Max, that's not at all what I was trying to say. I think that's what you were trying to say.

Speaker 5 No, I was trying to say, let's not try to find anything like publicly embarrassing, or maybe they said some stuff at a party 15 years ago.

Speaker 1 Let's not find out what Tommy DeVito's dad thinks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's just

Speaker 5 let the entire DeVito family exist only as something that we see on our television and appreciate their nuances and all that stuff. Cutlets and football.

Speaker 1 Let's keep it straight and, you know, let's keep it right there. That's the wheelhouse that we, that everyone, it's a fun story.
Let's not ruin it.

Speaker 5 That's actually, it's actually a little bit of self-hatred on your part, Max, thinking I was talking about the mob because I wasn't.

Speaker 10 Well, you were thinking of something negative.

Speaker 5 You, I was just saying, like, we, we just, all Italians are. We do this with everybody.
We do this. We find somebody and we love it.
We love the story.

Speaker 5 And then there's a reporter out there that's like, I want to know more about everything that's happened in their life.

Speaker 1 Although, I will say it will be fucking awesome and very funny to watch when Tommy DeVito introduces Trump at a rally. Yes.
That's going to rule. That is going to rule.
I will, that will be awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm all for that.

Speaker 13 I think we should Uber eat some chicken cutlets for football someday. Yes.

Speaker 1 That sounds good. Yeah, we haven't watched chicken cutlets in a while.

Speaker 5 ESPN needs to figure out what the fuck a chicken cutlet is.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, that was horrendous.

Speaker 5 It looked like a deep-fried rack of ribs. Yeah, it was bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it looked like, yeah, like deep-fried chicken.

Speaker 1 That's not chicken cutlets.

Speaker 5 Yeah, chicken cutlets pounded flat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Figure it out, ESPN. Abomination.
All right. Good show, boys.

Speaker 1 Numbers

Speaker 1 71. 20.

Speaker 1 3.

Speaker 1 Pug.

Speaker 1 56, Pug.

Speaker 1 Love that from you, Pug.

Speaker 1 Who's yours,

Speaker 1 PFT? I'm taking 8. Who's yours, Hank?

Speaker 6 40.

Speaker 1 15.

Speaker 1 DeVito!

Speaker 1 Arpais on.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes.

Speaker 5 He's running the numbers game.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's awesome. It's, I mean, it's destiny.
I hope he plays in the NFL for 15 years. What a fucking guy.
Me too. Tommy DeVito.

Speaker 1 He's family. Loves him.
He's our guy. Max, are you really like, you definitely have text messages with your family being like, do you see this Italian? It's just a little Italian boy.

Speaker 1 It's tough that he's on the Giants. Yeah, but this nice Italian boy.

Speaker 10 I will say last night I was watching the game. And they kept showing all the tailgate stuff.

Speaker 11 I put a little bit of

Speaker 10 sauce on the stove and then heated up some Chiabata.

Speaker 1 Ooh, okay. Yeah.
Just a little dunk. Just a little dunk.
I wanted to feel like I was at home with C.

Speaker 5 I think it's like Max is to Tommy DeVito as Stavi is to Flacco. Yeah.
Like, you love Jalen Hurts, but

Speaker 1 something about him. Nothing about him.
Tommy would be nice.

Speaker 10 I like Tommy, but he's on the Giants, and you know, we got to kill him, and we got to kill him two out of the next four weeks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 he might kill you.

Speaker 12 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nah, nah, nah.

Speaker 5 It'd be a real shame.

Speaker 1 Real shame. All right, see you all.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Caleb's in the building.

Speaker 1 Drain upon me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 Drain upon me.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm about to say and say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today isn't my day to find you. Shy,

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 1 Shy,

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Let's just say

Speaker 1 started

Speaker 1 blink.

Speaker 1 Sure than the buttons I did.

Speaker 1 Dragon become

Speaker 1 Things that you can say

Speaker 1 is it allows them just to play that worries away.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 You shine on,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you when you're lying.

Speaker 1 You shine on.

Speaker 1 We'll all be coming for you when you like.

Speaker 1 Stay

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 me, take

Speaker 1 them

Speaker 1 all,

Speaker 1 take them off,

Speaker 1 and where

Speaker 1 Drink my love.

Speaker 1 Drink on me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.