NFL Week 14, Fastest 2 Minutes, Cowboys Whomp The Eagles, Bills Stay Alive And Shohei Signs For 700 Million

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, week 14 in the NFL, we've got some great games to discuss. The Bills stay alive.
The Ravens look like maybe the one seed, depending on what the Dolphins do. We're going to talk Sunday night football.
we also got to talk Shohei

700 million dollar man we did it with Jaden Daniels LeBron wins the most important title of his career the first ever the first ever a lot of sports to talk about great sports weekend it's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light Coorsors Light helps you find moments to unwind. Big work presentation, follow it with a happy hour.
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And then I can't Welcome to Part of My Take.

Today is Monday, December 11th, week 14. Some spread.
Not gonna get him. Thanks for taking pictures of us, Deej.
if we start in the windy city where DJ Mandy Moore took a walk to remember

into the end zone for an early Bears lead. Jameer Mr.
Pibbs opened up a can and found the end zone to bring the Lions back before halftime, but it was all Bears in the second half as the Lions fell asleep desperately in the need of a cup of Jared Goffey to wake up their attack. A Josh Dennis Reynolds touchdown was the last scoring the Lions would do, as Detroit's Dennis system stands for defense? Eh, no, no, I don't know, sometimes? And the Bears are back.
Bears 28, Lions 13. Whoop, whoop! Over to Cleveland, where the Cleveland Browns have no limit to their Super Bowl hopes behind

their not-so-juvenile quarterback.

Joey looks good, won't you flack that ass up?

You got David Njoku, won't you flack that ass up?

Browns in the playoffs, won't you flack that ass up?

Joe, who's you playing with flack that ass up?

Trevor Bauer Lawrence's injuries were not nearly the same as originally reported in the media as he connected twice with the GOATC, Evan Ingram, to really stretch out the Browns' red zone. Kevin Spacey Stefanski took advantage of the young Jags' D.
And don't tell nobody, but Cleveland is thanking Yoffs. The Browns, 31.
The Jaguars, 27. Playoffs? Playoffs? Playoffs? It is playoffs.
In Cincinnati, where we had the marquee matchup of Gardner and Browning, also known as an Italian picking tomatoes in the summer, Ronnie Harrison Ford crashed into a Bengals player and took away the ball, landing safely in the end zone to make it 14-14 going into halftime. That's when the Bengals used their secret weapon, lacrosse player and yacht club member Tanner Hudson, to take the lead 21-14 and never look back.
Are the Bengals on a magical run? Huh? Bengals 31, Colts 14. We go down to Atlanta where Desmond Shitter soiled the Dirty Birds diaper once again, despite the best effort of Drake London, who tried to get hands on a Millie Bobbly Brown Balls.
Laker Mayfield is looking to win the meaningless in-season tournament that is the NFC South. And as bad as these Falcons look, Pijon F.
Kennedy Robinson shouldn't be planning any parades anytime soon. Running for only 34 yards, Rashad Walter White met the round and cooked up a whole bunch of speed as Todd Poles stood absolutely still like a Hank Lockwood-designed parking lot and let Arthur Smith's team drive right into him.
Bucs win 29-25. Going over to the AFC East, we have our correspondent, Means, in the Meadowlands.
We head to a soggy MetLife stadium where Zach Wilson said, I'm tired of this, Grand Salah. Well, that's too damn bad.
You keep playing. Garrett Owen Wilson said, Wow, look what happens when they finally throw me the ball.
Randall Cobby the Elf found himself free in the end zone for a touchdown. Will McDonald had a sack.
E-I-E-I-O. And with that sack there came a win.
E-I-E-I-O. Jets 30, Texans 6.
Back to the games. Thank you memes from Meadowlands.
Sticking on the East Coast. We go to Baltimore where the Ravens answered the question, are they likely to miss Mark Andrews with a resounding no as Isaiah scored early.
The Rams offense featuring Cooper, two girls, one cup, made the Ravens defense want to puke most of Sunday, but the game went to overtime where Tylon Rasheed Wallace said, ball don't lie, and returned a punt for the walk-off, proving Lamar's Jakeson was the best in the office today. Ravens 37, Rams 31.
Whoop, whoop. We go out to the bay where Brock, old party bastard,ard, Hut 1, Hut 2, Hut 3, Hut Ol' Purdy Bastard live and uncut.
The Seahawks release their Drew Clear missile as Drew Locke came out firing in the first drive and hit DK Adams Metcalf for a touchdown trying to shut the door on the Niners like it was an oversized suitcase. Placebo Samuel said, I want you to take two and call me in the morning as he gave the Seahawks a heavy dose of ass whooping.
The Niners 28, the Seahawks 16. We finish in Kansas City where Rasheed Condoleezza Rice was tipped off ahead of time about the threat of the Buffalo Bill Kaidas to no avail.
The game came down to the last drive where Patrick Mahomes came up short and was furious at the rest after the game. We go down to the sideline with Patrick.
Patrick. I'm just so ticked off with John McDermott, man.
You know the Bills are building seven games in the win column now. That's what Chris Alex Jones was saying.
And if it wasn't for that Patriot Act in late October, they would be in the playoffs. Meanwhile, Roger Goodell loves it.
He loves the Bills. He sure does.
He's reading my pet coat, and it's all about Josh Allen, the way they were protecting him today out there. I rock my brain, and I think we were so distracted by the NFL, we missed out on the NBA midseason tournament and Halliburton gobbling up all the profits.

I think back to the 2000 election, just like Osama Bin Laden,

Sean McDermott saw himself in the middle of the East,

and now he's going to New York with a W in his pocket.

That sound just ticked off.

Thank you, Patrick.

That was Patrick Rollins from the sideline.

Bills 20, Chiefs 17. Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in NOLA, such a fine sight to see.
It's a broken rib, my lord, another broken rib, my lord, another broken rib for the Saints qb it's jimmy graham he's the man people forget that he's a ginger and his soul's a sham the saints go marching 28 6 i think that was the score 28 6-6. I was right.
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Okay, week 14 in the books. We are watching Sunday Night Football live on the show.
So everyone who wanted Max reactions, you'll get them. We also, before we get into all the games, PFT, we're in a weird situation where usually I'm the one trolling Max.
You partake as well. But it's actually Hank right now.
It's Hank versus Max. Cowboys fan Hank has come out of hibernation for this game, for this big Sunday night

football game. I think for the rest of the year.
For the rest

of the year? Yeah. I just love the people at

Dallas. It's a great fan base, great fans.

You do, yeah. You certainly do.

But you show them a lot of affection.

Yeah, no, that's a great... I just kind of

realized it was fun last year and I'm ready to get back on

and ride. Why aren't you wearing the outfit though?

Where are the jorts?

I don't know where the jorts are. The jorts are in my apartment.
Shane has the DAC jersey. I'm going to get some new gear, though.
What about your earring? You've got to ride your boys. You filthy animal.
That's the season. It's time to ride our boys.
I love it. I love it.
All right, so yeah, we will update the game. It's 27-13 right now, heading into the fourth quarter.
We will update it. Max has quit like 16 different times.
Looks like he's going to cry. He looks like he's going to cry.
He's got his resting cry face on. He looks as greasy as ever.
It's a bad scene for Max if the Eagles can't have a heroic comeback. So the Cowboys just punted, and that was their first time punting the ball in, I believe, 17 drives.
So that goes back to Thanksgiving. Their last punt was the third quarter against the Washington Commanders on Thanksgiving, and so the first half was just a butt kicking.
But it looks like the Eagles found a spark. Yeah, they did.
Even though Max isn't paying attention to it. Devontae Smith just dropped a touchdown.
Make sure you just put memes. Can you cut to Max's face just so people can get a sense of the rest and cry face that we're looking at? I just want people to be able to see it.
Is it just my face? No, your face looks like it's going to cry at all times. All right, but we'll get to it once the game goes final, and if there's a big play, we'll – Oh, there's the cry face.
He's crying again. Let's get into some games, BFT.
This was a fun Sunday. It was a very fun Sunday.
It was a fun, fun Sunday. A lot of good games, a lot of bad games that were good.
Yeah, exactly. And there was no better game in the early slate than the Ravens 37, Rams 31.
That was an awesome, awesome game. It was a lot of fun to watch watch we've had a couple Sundays where it started slow but it felt like this game was good from the jump and uh the Ravens now have a stranglehold on the one seed obviously the Dolphins still have to play but it will be they play each other in a couple weeks uh but with the Chiefs losing the Jags losing it's really down to the Ravens and the Dolphins for the one seed.

A win they had to have, and they got with a punt return walk-off,

which is one of the most electric things that can happen in sports.

Yeah, and I'd say that this is a moral victory for the Rams too.

Yes, they played tough.

Rams are probably pretty pumped to go to overtime against the Ravens,

and they played a good game.

It didn't feel like it was a fluke. They've got great players.

Puka Nakua playing in this game in in the dog shit

precipitation with no gloves no gloves taped his fingers he's a dog he's a dog that one diving

catch that he had i'm putting that that's my catch of the year so far wow when you take into account

everything around it with the weather and the stage and who it was against that's my catch of

the year so far with puka nakua that was an unbelievable catch and he's so much fun to watch

and yeah i we because we were watching all the games so then when they show that play and we all

Thank you. against.
That's my catch of the year so far with Puka Nakua. That was an unbelievable catch and he's so much fun to watch.
Because we were watching all the games so then when they show that play and we all gasped at him catching that and then in slow motion like wait he's not wearing gloves. What the fuck? Feels better skin on skin.
I don't understand that because the way they make the receiver gloves now it is like the easiest thing to catch a ball. Yeah he's playing the game on expert mode right now.
That's how good his rookie season's been. Yeah, but I wrote down Rams played tough.
Like that was a game, we've seen it with the Ravens. They've hosted a couple teams that were quote-unquote for real with the Lions and the Seahawks and absolutely killed them.
There was a chance going into this day where it's like this could happen again to the Rams. They went toe-to-toe with them.
It really was just kind of clock management at the end, and then that delay a game they took in overtime to make it from a fourth and four to a fourth and – or sorry, third and four to a fourth and nine and having to punt, that was the game. It was like little minor errors where the game was high played, so it was like you can't – they also blew like three coverages where it felt like the ravens had multiple times where guys were just wide open likely was wide open on that wide open that's that was he was college open yes uh we also had a couple great just small moments in the game lamar kicking the ball into the stands on the safety he kicked the out of that ball also is lamar ambidextrous i think so so that's the second time we've seen him kick a ball and they both have been left-footed.
So I'm pretty sure that Lamar Jackson is better with his offhand than like 99% of the population is with their strong hand or foot. Because he did that, I think it was like a year or two ago.
It was a play that was whistled dead, and he punted it, and he punted it with his left foot. And then today he kicked the safety out with his left foot.
He should start throwing left or kicking. Well, actually, no.
So Justin Tucker, we said last week, Young-Waiku surpassed him as the most accurate kicker in the NFL. Tucker took it back.
He heard the people talking. He took it back this week.
That was nice to see. I don't think Young-Waiku is off to a nice start, Justin Tucker's at one point was worth a first-round pick as a kicker.
No more. But also we had a great challenge throw from Harbaugh.
Harbaugh really let that flag fly. He absolutely launched it.
I would try to hit the ref if I was a coach and I had a challenge flag. Where are you at with the Ravens? I feel like the Ravens are the team in the AFC now that has maybe the least amount –, because the Dolphins, I believe in the Dolphins, but you can all make the argument they still have not beaten a team over 500.
The Ravens at their best have looked really, really good. And they also, in a weird twist of fate, seem like the team that is the healthiest, which is crazy.
What happened to Hamilton? Although Mark Andrews is out and that is big. And Hamilton went out too.
Hamilton went out with a knee injury. But the quarterback health.
They're getting healthier. Right.
And they're going to get a big free agent pickup in Andrews at the end of the season. So yeah, no, I believe in the Ravens.
I think the Ravens are the best team in the AFC. It's them or the Dolphins that we get to find out in a couple weeks.
Yeah, we're going to find out. But as of right now, gun to my head, Ravens.
Big Ravens, their defense. Yes.
And this is just more of a credit to Sean McVay because it feels like we should do the conversation that this might be Sean McVay's best coaching job because it is a group that is not star-studded. It's not like the Super Bowl team.
Their defense is a lot of young guys in Aaron Donald. And their offense, I mean, Pukunuku is what, a fifth rounder? And Kyron Williams, they just time and time again, Sean McVay just schemes everyone open and has an offense work that is incredible.
And they've got draft picks this year. Meaning that they're going to have some stuff to bundle up and trade for an active player.
I also, this has nothing to do with the actual football game but it's just as important i love when a coach when there's bad weather decides to go full on deadliest catch outfit and sean mcveigh did that today he he had like the full blue rain suit um looking like he was about to like like perfect storm just hit the biggest hurricane ever and it i think it rained for maybe like a quarter. I like that too.
They just look so funny. You got to go one of two ways, I think, with it.
One, I like when you get dressed up in a poncho. Yeah.
And you look like you're going to a Gallagher concert. The second way I like is when the coach just pretends that the weather doesn't exist.
Yes. Like Dable's done that a few times.
Yes. Where he's just like, you know what? I'm just going to headbutt the rain until the rain quits.
Yeah. I'm going to stay here and make it hit me until it's sick of hitting me.
Speaking of that, Aaron Donald, when he's getting, like, triple teamed over the course of a game on almost every play, do you think at any point the offensive linemen feel bad when there's just three of them beating the shit out of him every single step? No, because then he just turns around and beats the shit out of them next time that he has a chance every time he gets the opportunity yeah i think they're like this is this is nice that we finally have have a chance to beat his ass the game plan was just don't let aaron donald beat you yeah that's that's what the ravens were trying to do with their offensive line uh but yeah no i think i think the ravens are the best team in the afc i think i i would say they're better than the dolphins right now we'll see what happens with them um but yeah ravens ravens are legit legit and also that on on the challenge flag that harbaugh threw it was my favorite kind of coach's challenge which was he was just mad at the result of the play which was a touchdown right a very obvious touchdown and he just needed to get some rage out real quick so yes he threw the challenge flag about 50 yards they looked at it for like 10 seconds and said yeah that's definitely touchdown sorry yeah and the ravens by the way they have a tough schedule coming up so we'll find out how for real they are which i do i agree with you i think they're the best team in the fc right now they go at jaguars sunday night football niners dolphins steelers steelers not so much i also we've been talking about it speaking of the steelers uh teams that we don't want to see in the playoffs, I do want to see the Rams in the playoffs. Are you saying if you're an NFC team? No, just in terms of enjoyment of the playoffs.
Gotcha, I thought you were doing the, you don't want to see them in the playoffs. No, no, no, I'm saying enjoyment of the playoffs, like first round matchups.
We. The Rams is a team, the Rams are a team that I wouldn't mind watching play more football.
Yeah. I don't really want to see the Vikings or the Seahawks, no offense to both those teams, play more football because I feel like the Rams have just a different gear that they can – it's probably just because of the quarterback when I mentioned the Seahawks and the Vikings.
Like Stafford could beat anyone if he's on his A-plus game. Stafford did a very unnecessary sidearm pass today.
Yeah. He whip that out it was kind of like a because he's like i want to you know what i want to give dan orlovsky some red meat so that he can really glaze me up when he sees me on nfl live this week so let's just do a sidearm pass for no reason it was kind of a uh lebron no look where he does the no look where he's looking and then he just whips his head at the last second yeah he kind of did that where that where he was definitely looking, did a sidearm, and then whipped his head around like, see that? No look.
But to your point, looking at the NFC, there's really no team that I want to see fill that last spot in the NFC. So if I were to say pick one of them, probably the Rams.
I'm just saying, yeah, enjoyment of watching football. Definitely nobody from the NFC South.
I hope nobody makes it from that division. Yeah, I hope they just eliminate the goal.
Not Green Bay. You know who I'd like to see.
Yeah, the Chicago Bears. The Chicago Bears.
We can talk about it in a little bit. It's possible.
I've charted out a path. It's possible.
I've charted out a path. It's unlikely but possible.
I guess the real question is would you rather see the Rams or the Seahawks in the playoffs? And the answer is the Rams. The answer is the Rams.
The answer is the Rams. Okay, next game.
True lock though. No.
No, Drew Locke. No, Drew Locke.
Big Cat, before Dolphins Tour comes after you, their win over the Broncos is now against a team over .500. No, they didn't beat a team over .500 at the time.
At the time, yeah. Yeah, that's when it counts.
Yeah, I guess, I mean. Yeah, you've got to beat a team that's good at the time.
I mean, they beat a team over .500. No, you've got to.
It's at the time. At the time.
Yeah, and I think what the closest. It's the time you play them.
The Raiders were the closest. Yeah, but now it's a good win.
No, it's got to be when you play them, they have to be over 500. No, because those Broncos were not these Broncos.
Right. Yeah, but there's not Broncos.
No, no. It's got to be fucking me.
That was a flag. Shit.
Max, that was a flag. All right.

That was a flag.

Yeah, no, you have to be over 500 when you play them.

That's beating a team over 500. I mean, yeah, I guess it's different.

In college.

They beat a team under 500.

Right, but if this was college, it's a good win.

You're talking a net rating?

Yeah.

In terms of quad ones, in terms of the computers, the quad ones, quad twos.

It moves to a quad one win now.

Now it looks favorable.

And you beat a quad 1 team by 50.

Max.

Max, talk to us, Max.

Talk to us, Max.

Use your words.

I mean, the Cowboys have gotten bailed out on every fucking drive.

Yeah.

That was the cry.

That sounded like it was not live, Max.

That sounded like it was a Max soundboard.

Yeah.

That was tough.

That's AI. We should make a Max soundboard.
We need a Max. I would love a Max soundboard going forward.
Yes. I love the yes.
Yes. He's closing the gap on Marv Albert for best yes chant.
Yeah. We haven't heard any really in the last two weeks.
He's been void of yeses. Okay.
Next game up. Browns 31.
Jaguars 27. Joe Flacco, elite.
Three touchdowns. 26 for 45.
Only one bad Joe Flacco pass. Interception.
Joe Flacco, he's commanding the Browns offense. And he has been named starter for the rest of the year.
Yeah, we're getting ahead of ourselves a little bit. I think we all just assumed he was going to be starter for the rest of the year.
But come out and say it out loud, it's a different thing. I said that Kevin Savancy should not have done that because the Browns quarterbacking is like the drummer for Spinal Tap this year where it's like as soon as you name a starter they get injured.
So I hope that doesn't happen to Joe Flacco. Yeah.
But yeah, you could have just let it go. If you're a Browns quarterback in general it's like you're an extra and final destination.
Yeah. It's a matter of when, not if.
That jersey is going to look sick with Flacco on it, though. That's a great name to just look back on and remember for a while.
Yeah, and it's also, so the Browns now have won a game with four different starters this year. Yeah.
That's perseverance. So from Browns PR, Joe Flacco was the first Brown to throw three touchdown passes of at least 30 yards in the same game since any guess when? 1980.
Long time. I would not have gone 90.
Long time. You remember Brian Sipe? Yep.
Don't you? You remember Brian Sipe, that legend? Dude, he slung it. Yeah.
43 years since the Browns have done that. Flacco is taking this offense and putting in demon time.
Yeah. Because the the offense is moving the ball well flacco can still sling it he was moving around a little bit today he's like playing his way back into shape yeah where he's he's like oh yeah this is what running is well more than anything it is the joe flacco can you know read a defense he knows when a blitz is coming like and i'm not that's not a knock on dtr and p and PJ Walker, but Joe Flacco has seen a lot of football.
So little things. I think one of those long touchdowns is like a third and one where they tried to blitz, and he saw it and perfectly read it.
And it's like those are plays that Joe Flacco can give you that maybe one of these younger quarterbacks isn't really there to do it for. And because the Browns have a defense as good as they do, which is elite at home, and they're banged up.
They didn't have Denzel Ward today. They didn't have Juan Thornhill.
Miles Garrett's still banged up. And they still were taking the ball away, making Trevor Lawrence, like, what, he had three picks? Yeah, JOK was outstanding today.
Yeah. They're just a really good football team, and I'm excited'm excited for browns fans they are flacco is now 10 and 2 in that stadium wow time and the thing about joe is uh he doesn't really have any emotions whatsoever like when he won the super bowl he like smiled right and he thought it's a mcdonald's i'm about to get 200 million dollars which was pretty cool and he smiled he gave us that but when when when he's under pressure, when there's guys blitzing him,

he doesn't really panic because his resting heart rate

is just constantly like 50 beats per minute,

whether he's winning a Super Bowl

or whether he's getting eaten alive by Josh Allen on the defensive line.

So he was what we expect Joe to be.

He's what I expect Joe to be.

Miles Garrett agrees.

They asked him about Joe Flacco's play.

He just smiled and said, he's elite. He is.
he's elite i call him uh baldinger's cat because he's both elite and not elite at the same time and he makes everybody furious depending on what your take on joe flacco is and here's how the conversation always goes is joe flacco elite yes why he won a super bowl so did trent tilfer yeah and that's the end of that conversation that's it every single time or no he won a super but he won a super bowl yeah yeah but so did trent dilfer and then that's the end yeah it's you can you can do like a chart it's choose yes or no it always ends up with but so did trent dilfer it's choose your own adventure in a flow chart and the last one can we make that chart actually your guide to having to talking to your family about joeacco. Yeah.
This is why we talked about Trent Dilfer flipping out on sidelines.

I think that he has rage just because he always is the ending of the Joe Flacco conversation.

Trent Dilfer, when he saw Joe Flacco coming back, was like,

God fucking damn it.

Now we're going to do this again?

We're going to talk about the fact that I won a Super Bowl,

but it wasn't me.

It was a defense?

Yeah.

If you look at the outcome of that Super Bowl, the person that had the worst was not Kaepernick. It was not Harbaugh.
Or I should say Jim Harbaugh. Yeah.
The person who had it the worst was Trent Dilfer, without a doubt. Yes.
Yes. And I mean, Joe Flacco was a lot better than Trent Dilfer.
Way better. That pass he made in Denver.
Way better. But yeah, the Browns are for real.
Now the Jaguars on the other side, their defense has gone away. That was the thing that I think a lot of people early in the season were like, wow, the Jags defense, it's paired with Trevor Lawrence.
And Trevor Lawrence wasn't good today. I still don't know what happened with his ankle.
It felt like maybe he shouldn't have played because he didn't play well. He played well at the end.
He put together a couple tries at the end, but the Jaguars feel like they're a smoke and mirrors team. Yeah.
And we're starting to kind of get through the fog, and we're like, hey, wait a second. Why did we anoint the Jaguars? Oh, because Pete Prisco? I was going to say the reason why we're having that conversation about the Jaguars, we shouldn't be talking about the Jaguars as being frauds.
We should be talking about the Jaguars in terms of taking that next step. This year is the next step year for the Jaguars, but because Prisco had to open his big mouth about it, now we're looking at it as the Jaguars are frauds.
It's all about perspective. Pete skewed everybody's perspective with his Jaguars Super Bowl talk.
But the next step would be winning two playoff games. I don't see them winning two playoff games.
Do you? No. They would have to, if the playoffs started today, they would play the Browns.
You could make the case that the next step is not necessarily winning those playoff games, but just putting up like 11 wins in a season. Yeah, but they did win a playoff game last year.
They did. And they, and played against the Chiefs and admirably showed up.
It was an admirable performance. They showed up.
They put together those terrible uniforms. They have some bad uniforms.
They had one great half of football in the playoffs last year. Yeah.
So, yeah, I just don't I don't really take the Jaguars for real. Yeah.
Let me ask you this. It's unfortunate because I love our guy Chaps.
We know Dougs. Duval seems like the coolest place.
They have another night game. If they can beat the Ravens on Sunday night, it kind of is a pivot point for their whole season back on track.
But right now, as it stands, let me ask you this. Who do you think would win in a playoff game, the Browns or the Jaguars? I would say the Browns.
I think the Browns could beat the Jaguars. I think the Browns could beat the Jaguars.
Although the Browns' defense is not the same on the road. I mean, a lot of people are saying that, like, can Joe Flacco win against a good team like the Jaguars? I don't know if he can or not, but if they were to play in the playoffs, I think he might be able to sneak one out.
Yeah, I'd agree with you there. Okay.
What, four points? Four points. Four points, yeah.
And Doug Peterson, that was a...

He went for two. I kind of liked it.

So it was 31-21.

They scored a touchdown

with a minute left, and he went for

two to try to make it a two-point game instead

of a three-point

game. Didn't get it.

I actually liked it because you needed... It was all

resting on the onside kick anyway, and

if you get the two, you can win with a field goal. I don't know if I like it or not.
I kind of liked it. It was kind of funky.
I can't remember the last time a coach did that. I think the reason why I liked it was because the way they've made onside kicks now, it's impossible.
So he kind of was like, this doesn't really fucking matter anyway. Right.
Well, I liked it personally because I picked the Browns and it was a three-point spread. Yes.
And so that was very, very beneficial for me. Very, very detrimental to Hank.
Yes. Who, unfortunately, is not looking great.
What's the deal with these peanuts? Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to start grinding.
Okay. Grinding some tape.
Not over yet. It's over.
It's over. What do you mean, grind some tape? I'm watching.
You're going to're gonna watch stand-up you're gonna steal other people's jokes you should do that you should you should not gonna do that no i like his whole set word for word i don't uh cover comedian i've obviously seen stand-up but i wouldn't say it's like a huge huge you know thing that i watch in my free time like i i've been to a couple shows i've watched a couple stand-ups but i'm not super super familiar with the art tell us a joke eagles defense that's pretty good hey good that's pretty good get get ready to learn funny buddy that's That's good. That's really good.
Okay, next game.

I'm going to end up roasting you guys.

That's nice.

I'll play the hits.

I don't know what else.

I just can't do that for an hour.

That's low-hanging fruit, Hank.

Just go full troll mode.

Really sad.

Really sad of you.

It's just an hour is a long time.

It's fine.

I'm excited.

It's a long time.

I'm not going to complain.

Let's pretend right now, okay, your stand-up set starts right now, and I'll let you know when it ended. Okay? Okay.
Okay. Bengals 34, Colts 14.
Are the Bengals a team of destiny? Jake Browning looked pretty good. Dude, Zach Taylor needs appreciation because watching the Bengals play, I know Jake Browning has looked good, and he deserves a lot of credit.
He actually has 79.3% completion percentage in his first three starts, which is the highest a quarterback's ever had in their first three starts since 1950. I don't know what happened in 1950.
I feel like all stats just stopped in 1950. Norman Van Brocklin? Yeah just it's sammy bau it's like sid luckman it's just all stopped at 1950 but zach taylor like the way he's scheming he's like hey i have a lot of really good players who cares that i don't have joe joe burrow like we got to make something out of this let's just scheme up all of our good players getting the ball in space and let jake browning just make easy.
He made some very easy passes today. So I agree with you.
Zach Taylor's doing a great job. Chase Brown hit 22 miles an hour on that screen pass where he just took off.
Like, how can you have a fast guy like that and not really use him until your backup's in? I would have liked to see Chase Brown more frequently this season. But Jake Browning, there was a momentary scare that we had with Jake Browning where we thought that he took our advice and he just decided he was going to fake an injury.
Yeah, he had a thumb injury. And then get paid.
He said he went to the locker room. He was dehydrated.
He got an IV. And then he just sat there being pissed off because he was cramped up.
And then he was just like staring as IV angry, like waiting to get back. And then he was done.
He came back in. Aarron hit the bricks and then it was it was uh it was time for him to just take back over and he's getting cramped up you know what i'm gonna put him in the moxie conversation yeah i think he's i think he's got good moxie and i also think the bengals like that win on monday night rejuvenized their season and they're now sitting here and being like hey wait we could we're still a really good football team you know let's not be the fsu here yeah we could still make the playoffs i think they definitely could by the way shout out joe burrow nice guy of the week award first ever on pardon my take he gave his uh sweet to jake browning's family that's amazing nice guy of the week on his birthday no less wow nice guy of the week joe is a very nice guy so that was a very cool thing to to do.
As for the Colts, I feel I felt like the Colts like lucky bounce streak kind of ran out and I thought it was going to keep going when they got that pick six. Yeah.
But the muff punt and then just, you know, it felt like they were just, you know, running uphill for the entire second half. I hope that the Colts – the Colts are in my fun team category.
Shane Steichen is a great coach, but it did feel like the lucky bounces kind of ran out for them. I think they're still in the fun team category.
Yeah, they're in the fun team category. Yeah, did they score like 14 points in 10 seconds or something like that? It was 25 seconds.
25 seconds, yeah. Touchdown and then the pick six.
So Gardner Minshew looked okay today. Nothing special.
They ran out of gas in the second half. Second half, it was all Bengals all the time.
But I would still trust the Colts against exactly 50% of the teams in the AFC. Yeah.
I think they're the perfectly average team, but they compete in fun ways. They have no business being this good right now.
Yeah, they're the exact average team.

If you're like, hey, who could beat everyone below them and lose to everyone above them?

The Colts.

The crazy thing is I think of it more in terms of who could beat the best teams if everything broke their way

and who could lose to the worst teams if everything broke the wrong way.

Yeah.

So the Colts beat the Ravens this season.

That's true.

And I also wouldn't be surprised if they lost to literally any team yeah that's also true yeah um okay next up oh oh no max that was a fumble max i think that was a fumble are you gonna say anything max might have been down max are you gonna say something i think he was down Okay. There's 638 left in the game, and the Eagles are down 17.

That's bad for the over. Yeah, no shit, Hank.
No, he was definitely not down. He might have been down.
His whole body was in. So this is my first game of football I've watched, Max.
You got a hairball? When you're down, what does that mean? Right. I get it.
He wasn't fucking down. Talk about the game.
His foot was down. You got to look at two sides of the same play.
So it looked like he was not down yet, but did he have possession? Was that a catch? Ooh, maybe not. Maybe it wasn't a catch.
You guys aren't funny.

You sure?

Yeah, they are.

Thanks, Jake.

Thanks, Jake.

Very cool.

Approaching eight years.

You're such a bitch.

Wait, no, but seriously, when you say down, what does that mean?

If your whole body is in the air three feet above the ground, is that down?

No, he was not down.

It was a fumble.

Oh.

It was very cool. If your whole body is in the air three feet above the ground, is that down?

No, he was not down.

It was a fumble.

Oh.

Was there a clear recovery?

Yes, there was a clear recovery.

Oh, fuck.

Wait, which team?

Oh, the Cowboys.

The Cowboys?

This is bad analysis. And which team are you rooting for?

First hiccup, only one.

Any more hiccups? No. Okay.
You want us to continue? Yeah, I would love for you to continue. Okay.
Well, they're in commercial. Yeah, they're commercial.
No, it's not over. It's not over.
The Eagles don't give up. Rocky.
They lost on Rocky Day. Today's Rocky Day? Do you think this game would have gone different if Dom was there? I know they won on Rocky Day.
Yeah. Yeah, Dom not being on the sidelines, obviously.
Dom doesn't finish the game on the sidelines. But wait, was Dom allowed to coach during the week? Yeah, he was.
Okay. So that's at least good.
He even was allowed to travel with the team. Oh.
He just couldn't be on the sideline. Damn.
Damn. They have their binky.
Does every team have Dom on their sideline? I don't know. What are we talking about? No, I'm genuinely curious.
We're talking about Dom. The Eagles.
Did you really forget what we were talking about? No. Okay.
At least you guys are going to be in first place after this game, right? Oh, wait. I just did the playoff machine.
Oh, no. Don't tell me, PFT.
Don't give me bad news. Not right now.
First seed is the Niners. It says second seed is the Cowboys.
What? And the fifth seed is the Eagles. Fifth? Fifth.
What? That's a fake fifth seed. That's a fake fifth seed? Because we haven't played the Giants yet.
That's what it says. It's fifth seed.
Wait, but the way the Eagles are playing right now, is the Giants a guaranteed win? Would you shut up and just continue with the games that we're supposed to be talking about? Well, how can you shut up and continue? Are you playing at the Giants next week? No, we play at Seattle next week, which we very well could. But then do you play at the Giants? We have to play them both.
Oh. You haven't lost a game in Meadowlands, have you? I don't know.
Like, you're so annoying. Can you shut up and also continue talking, please? I just want you to continue doing the part of the show that we're supposed to be doing.
Okay. Who decides that? You.

No.

So wouldn't what they're talking about be what it's supposed to be

talking about?

No, this is what we're talking about right now.

I guess technically the producer creates the rundown.

Yeah, Max creates the rundown every time.

We do a fully produced rundown on every single show.

Max has always given us topics.

They're all on the side.

Fastest two minutes.

Fastest two minutes is the A block. Now we're in the B block.
Yeah, what are we going to talk about today, fellas? I got some ideas. LeBron? Zion is fat? Are the Cowboys the best team in the NFC? Stephen A.
Smith tweet was the best. He's like, check out my new podcast.
Show, hey, Zion is fat. All right, Bucs 29, Falcons 25.
Someone has to win the NFfc south three-way tie now the bucks technically own uh they they control their own destiny so um baker with the game-winning drive i don't know this like i just i'm so sick of watching nfc south football i think that they should only play each other so you have to opt into nfc South games. Yeah.
If you really care about the division, then you can watch.

It should be the Panthers playing against the Bucs, Saints playing against the Falcons,

and then they just rotate amongst themselves.

And they should put it on the Pac-12 network.

Yeah.

Make it a real effort for people.

I don't want to accidentally stumble across an NFC South game.

Exactly.

It's just a chore every single time.

Oh, that was a big pass for the Cowboys.

Oh, my God.

He caught it. Well, Max is probably happy, right? He's a Cowboys fan.
Oh, wait. His favorite team is the Eagles.
It's the Eagles. I forgot.
Shit. A couple highlights from this game with the Bucs and the Falcons.
Goldberg destroyed a Bucs fan. Yes.
Just planted him into the earth. Still got it.
Probably broke a few ribs. Goldberg should play.
Still got it. They should let Goldberg play.
Yeah, he can play football. Play to Georgia.
Yeah, he's a good player. Yeah.
Also, fun fact from this game, the Bucs had nine players on the field for Bijan Robinson's touchdown. Oof.
So typically, you want that unless you're Notre Dame. There was also a Bucs touchdown.
I think it was White who scored where it looked like the Falcons maybe had a bet who could not tackle him. Yeah.
They all just kind of flailed around and he scored a touchdown. But yeah, it was good for Baker.
I'm happy for Baker. I don't want to see an NFC South team.
I think we've said the Falcons just because of their names, but I'm so sick of watching Desmond Ritter play football. Yeah.
If it's Heineke, then I definitely want to see the Falcons in the playoffs. Des I know he played well in the fourth quarter.
Both teams are like, oh, shit, we've got to try to win this game. But the interception, the fumble in the end zone, the missed pass to Bijan where it was a walk-in touchdown and he missed him, I'm just kind of done with Desmond Ritter i think i'm with watching him play football i think pretty much everybody else out there is done with desmond ritter i think it's enough i think falcons fans understand it's enough desmond ritter is not the guy we've had enough we don't want any more desmond ritter we're asking we're please asking out of all future desmond ritter now that said if ku had made two his field goals that he missed, different game.
True. But, yeah, someone's got to win the NFC South.
Three-way tie. All teams, what, 6-7? Yep.
6-7, and the Bucs control their own destiny, which is crazy. They are sitting right now in the fourth seed.
We're just going to do this again, where the Bucs are going to – although the Bucs, if they get the fourth seed, who would they play? They'd play against the Eagles right now. Oh, that's actually a pretty good game.
That's an easy dub for the Eagles. That's a pretty good game.
Easy game. So you'd almost rather lose this game if you're the Eagles.
Yeah. You go play the Bucs, Max.
Round one.

No.

That is not how this works.

They're more likely to get the two seed than they are the fifth seed.

If the season ended today.

But it doesn't end today. But last week it was all about how you had the one seed.

Yes, it was.

And we did have the one seed.

Now we don't. So great.
great. You guys are fucking geniuses.
What's the playbook tonight? The playbook is that this defense fucking sucks and they can't hold on to the football. And Dallas gets bailed out on every fucking drive with either a penalty or picking up a flag, which I've never seen someone call a hold, throw the flag for the hold, and then say, you know what? Never mind.
But they kicked our asses, so it doesn't really matter. Damn.
Quick poll, because I'm just curious. PFT, commanders were bye week this week? Yep.
It was great. Actually, we won the bye week because a lot of teams lost that were close to us, so we hang on to our spot in the draft.
Yeah, everyone won but me. Jake, I'm doing a poll.
Max, wait. Cut to the chase.
Max, this Eagles discussion is not about you. I don't know how big your head needs to be.
We're not just talking about the Eagles so much to get under your skin. Personally, we're a football podcast.
Yeah, and Jake, your team plays tomorrow. So there's four teams that have played today.
The Jets must have lost. Or this week.
The Jets. The Jets lost.
And the Patriots must have lost. And so are the Bears.
Those teams stink. All underdogs.
Wait, raise your hand if your team won this week. Yep.
I'm going to count that as a dub. Okay.
Big meaty dub. Max, where's your...
Jake's team didn't win yet. Max, where's your hand? Your team didn't win either.
Did you not listen to the sports podcast that we're doing? We won because all the teams around us, the draft, happened to win. We won because the Chiefs lost.
Max, your hand wasn't raised. Is there an issue? That was a great Max noise.
Okay, let's take a break and we'll talk about some more games. Max needs a break.
Let's take a break. Yeah, we're going to get back to the games in a second, but before we do, they're brought to you by our very, very good friends over at GameTime.
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Part of my take listeners get an exclusive 15% discount on all 3G's premium THC products. g.com use promo code pardon 15 take 15 off your order you must be 21 or older to purchase please use it responsibly did the eagles quit they didn't use any other timeouts yeah i think you know not so much quit as they wave the white flag that's's not quitting.
It's different. I wouldn't quit.

I would never quit.

Thank God I have a reminder for you. You have to drag me off the field.

You said December 11th.

Yeah.

Eagles to win the Super Bowl.

No.

No.

On the August 9th episode.

I was right about getting the best price at this exact moment.

Credit to me for calling that because of the schedule, but no. They're not winning the Super Bowl.
The defense just doesn't look right. They're not winning the Super Bowl.
All right, let's talk about a team that might win the Super Bowl. Bears 28, Lions 13.
The Bears are back. I'd say you guys could mathematically make the playoffs.
Mathematics. I'm not going to get ahead of myself, but I'm totally going to get ahead of myself.
The Browns are going to be a very tough game, but if the Bears can somehow win next week, they play the Cardinals and the Falcons at home, and then week 18 would be at Lambeau with some implications. And if you just took out September, if you just pretended September didn't exist, the Bears are actually a good football team.
Matt Eberflus and Justin Fields, they have now won back-to-back games for the first time. That's cool.
Wait, today was the first time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, today was the first time.
And you're thinking about keeping both of them. I don't think they're – so we're in a problem because I don't think – I think they're going to take Caleb Williams, which I'm all for.
Matty Buflus has done an incredible job with his defense. I don't know what to say.
Like, it's kind of hard to – like, the defense has been incredible. It has.
Like, Montez Sweat, I remember everyone laughing at that. He was an absolute monster today.
Brisker had 17 tackles. The guys that – you know, the linebackers in have been good the defense is lights out and he is the defensive coordinator uh because our defensive coordinator somehow mysteriously left uh under very very weird circumstances hr was involved so i guess we'll have to play the string out and see but people have been like hey don't you want to lose for tanking no no we have the panthers pick so i don't i want the bears this is when you have to start changing the culture this is when you have to start winning and being like hey we could start winning some games you build off this you build it for the next season like this is when you do it can i give you some advice as an unbiased outsider yeah take haleb williams no i think they will i'm all for and get a brand new coach i'm all for it.
Justin Fields is great against the Lions. He really is.
He's always running around. But do not fall into this.
No, I'm not. Even if you win a few games.
Justin Fields still. No, no.
I want you to hear me when I say this. No, I know.
I want Caleb Williams. If they win out this season.
Yeah. I think they're going to keep Matt Eberflus.
And they're in the hunt. I think they're going to keep Matt Eberflus.
You should want Matt Eberflus on the other side of the sun. I want him to be the defensive coordinator and just take a demotion.
I don't know if that would happen. It would be the best thing ever.
It would be great, but I don't know if it's possible for that to happen. That's why we need Harbaugh.
I'm just telling him. I can just be like, Matt Eberflus, you're the DC now.
I'm just telling you as a friend, I need you to know that you do not want those guys back next year. I don't think I want Justin Fields back but i i do matt eber you can't deny how good the defense defense is great so um i yes cut in my head i don't do not want him back but i also have to see what happens the next if they if they win out what the fuck they're a good team yeah so it's it's important for the other guys that are in that locker room to end the season knowing that they can win football games.
Yeah. That's going to be big going into next year.
But don't start thinking crazy on me and think that maybe Matt Ebervlewicz has figured out how to become a great coach. His defense is very, very good.
Very good. Very good defense.
As for the Lions, now Lions fans are going to be mad at me because I actually said on Friday, I think the Bears can win this game. There were people who were like, you're an idiot.
You're so stupid. The Bears.
I think what's happened is because the Bears were so bad in September and people, rightfully so, threw them in the trash and were like, this team sucks. They haven't paid attention.
Obviously, I'm watching every game. This team does not suck.
They're not good, but they're definitely not bad. If you did a list of power rankings of all the teams in the league, they're in the 20s somewhere, like early 20s.
They're not in the 28, 29, 30 range, which they were in September. The Lions, though, Lions fans are going to be upset because the intentional grounding call was bullshit that then led to Aiden Hutchinson jumping offside and Justin Fields throwing a dime to DJ Moore for a touchdown.
My counter argument to that, so I'm admitting that it was a bullshit call. My counter argument to that would be, did that call stop the Lions from getting a first down until nine minutes left in the fourth quarter? Probably not.
So that really, like the Bears were the better team on Sunday. That call was very big and it sucked because it was probably the wrong call, but I'm not going to apologize because the Bears were the better team on Sunday that call was very big and it sucked because it was probably the wrong call but I'm not going to apologize because the Bears were the better team and their defense played better and the Lions defense still is a big question mark of what the hell is happening yeah so the Lions it was it was their defense yes their defense was very bad today but also their offense wasn't that good they scored 13 points in the second quarter they didn't score any points outside of that second quarter.
It was pretty inconsistent. Jared Goff is a friend, great quarterback, even better guy off the field for Jared.
Facts. He struggles with the cold.
Yeah. They need to have a home playoff game, and I think they will.
They should still win that division because I don't think anybody else really is capable of doing that right. The Packers Packers are definitely capable of doing they're the best team in that division by a wide enough margin for for it to be like relatively certain that they're going to win it but I don't that's not but you better win that division because you don't want to go anywhere and play outside that's not as secure as you think it is because they have to play the Vikings twice and the Vikings are two games behind them right now i think that the packers went on monday they're two games behind them i think the uh the lines will take care of business against i'm not worried about the vikings anymore if i'm the if i'm the lion okay it's if you're a lions fan you're not saying oh the nfc north is all wrapped up i can guarantee you that It's not wrapped up, but I wouldn't panic

in terms of winning that division.

They have not looked good.

They have not looked good in the last three weeks.

That's a fact.

Actually, four weeks because the Bears

completely choked away the game that they played

at Ford Field a month ago.

And Dan Campbell said afterwards,

I need to push a little more.

I need to be more irritable.

That's going to be fun for the Lions. Yeah, he's going to have to figure out a great speech to give this week.
I got one. Here's one.
We're going to throw the ball more frequently to Jameson Williams. Yeah, and Sam Laporta.
Again, throw the ball to Jameson. He's fast as fuck.
Not when the Bears secondary is flying around. Listen, I know people, they love when I'm very much down.

It's exciting.

I'm excited about the Bears' future because their defense is something to build on,

and they have offensive weapons, and they have the number one pick.

It's exciting.

If you want someone to be down and out and doom and gloom, can I offer you a max?

Where's max down?

Max, that game just went final.

Your mic's not

on. Eagles suck.

Eagles suck? This is

two games in a row playing the two other

best teams in the NFC and you've looked very

bad.

Yes.

The season's over? No.

Okay. You have a

magic wand. How do you fix the Eagles?

Nothing.

The defense is so bad.

I mean, the offense, there was just bad turnovers,

but they were moving the ball fine.

They just had bad turnovers.

The defense is a big problem.

Big, big, big problem.

That was a lot of bigs.

Sean Desai fucking blows.

Damn.

Is Dom back next week?

I don't know.

Hopefully.

Did they lose?

The defense sucks.

Yeah, but Dom got kicked out of that.

Hank, you bet the Cowboys today.

What do you think about your Cowboys?

We need a Cowboys fan on this podcast. We said that.
Hank has stepped up. He's the next man up guy.
They're dominant at home. They got to keep up these wins, get some home playoff games.
Soupy. Soupy? You think it's soupy this year? I think this is the year.
Oh, okay. Well, Max, the gauntlet is over.
That's good. I mean, you still have to go to Seattle next week.
It's not a gauntlet. Seattle needs a win bad.
I'm also sick of playing teams that just get extra rest. Yeah, yeah.
Seattle kind of gets extra rest because they played earlier. They had at least four hours.
Last week, Hank, Dallas had a mini-buy. They played Thursday.
It's scheduling. Scheduling is fuck the Eagles.
That's what's happening. Calendar.
20. Yeah, that's what's happening.
Two days is worth 20 points. Yeah.
Yeah. That's about right.
That's the math. I mean, the defense sucks.
Yeah. Dak looks really good.
I think Dak MVP. He did look great today.
Yeah. Dak MVP.
We were talking about it a couple weeks ago, but Dak is – I would imagine the odds would reflect that, but Dak MVP feels like it's got some momentum now. I'd say if the conversation is down to Dak and Brock, they're going to give it to Dak.
Yes. Well, really, I just keep going back.
It's probably going to be the number one seed. So two is still in it.
Like Lamar is still in it. It's just – that's how this award goes, unfortunately.
So whoever gets the one seed gets the MVP. Although if it's the Dolphins, I think it's Tyreek.
It should be. It should be.
Okay, next game. Sorry the Lions fans had to listen to me be happy.
I'm happy like once, never. Never happy.
No, I mean, you have every right to be happy. I'm very, very happy.
Bears put a pep in my step today, and it felt good. And it felt good also because people still think they suck.
So, like, when you can sneak them and be like, no, they don't actually suck. Were they 5-4 in their last nine? 5-4 in their last nine.
And their losses are, you know, Tyson Bajan, that Saints loss. They actually kind of dominated the Saints.
Obviously, the Lions game, they didn't know how to close out the first one. If you look at the last two months of the Bears, outside of the Chargers game, they've been in every game.
Well, so the Vikings game, we all remember that Vikings. By no means were the Bears like a dominant team.
No, but their defense was awesome. Their defense was great.
Their defense can win them games. All right, Saints 28, Panthers 6.
The Saints, man, it's tough when the Panthers are playing and the Panthers are a chore to watch, and then the Saints are equally as a chore to watch because the Saints offense. Derek Carr at one point in this game was 13 for 20 for 37 yards and one interception.
And did you see his offensive lineman, Eric McCoy, just start screaming at him? Saw that, yeah. Kind of woke him up a little bit.
They got into that. I took something else away from that video too.
It wasn't just him screaming at him. We need to start monitoring Derek Carr every time he's sacked.
I don't think these guys are helping him up. Yeah.
I don't think his offensive line is going back there and helping the guy up. Yeah.
I think he's up to three or four broken ribs right now,

trying to match Drew Brees' all-time record.

I think he still has like 10 more to go for that one, but still.

That's an unbreakable record, I think.

Yes.

Drew Brees playing with like every single rib shattered into his lungs.

He was Marilyn Manson for that one season.

Sucking his own dick.

You think, well, yeah, Derek Carter, could he?

Yeah, probably.

He's got his brother to do that for him.

He's got no, yeah.

Oh, no, his brother's busy saying that Marcus Mariota should start for the Eagles. Yeah, my favorite – Which, maybe? My favorite thing about David Carr is that – I'm joking.
Is that he blocks people who make fun of his brother online. That's just – he's ride or die.
Ride or die. But, yeah, this game was – the Panthers are just so, so, so bad.
And Chris Tabor, their interim head coach, usually you a bounce with their head your interim head coach they got negative bounce so much so that he's a special teams guy and they got a punt block today like that's the one thing if you're the interim head coach and you're a special teams coach you need to make sure your special teams is like elite and never fucks up because that's the one thing that you should be able to handle he also might just be it might be the lack of him being on special teams yeah i don't think so i think that's why they're not the panthers should definitely do the thing where they have a different interim coach every single week try to get that bump keep going with it until you find a guy that gives you bump and then rotate again that's what you should do the panthers are so tough to watch so hard to watch i put a bet in today on every team to score a touchdown and in the early slate, I just needed the Panthers are so tough to watch, so hard to watch. I put a bet in today on every team to score a touchdown.
And in the early slate, I just needed the Panthers. And I feel so bad for Panthers fans out there.
The fact that you have to go through this week in, week out. Bryce Young, the guy still hasn't figured out that he can't outrun a defensive lineman at full speed from a standstill.
Correct. He tries to do it all the time, and when he realizes he can't, then he starts drifting backwards and makes a sure sack an even worse sure sack.
Yeah. His first half, he was 3 for 15 for 28 yards.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's bad. Really bad.
Aren't you happy, though? Because you got the plug pulled on you because the Vikings-Raiders game, which we're going to talk to, that would have been disaster that would have been disaster it would have been bad uh the highlight of the game was miles sanders almost scoring a touchdown yeah and he got tackled at like the two and then you guys backed up 15 yards and then yeah they they just went yeah sack sack is it is it not time to start asking andy dalton yeah andy dalton the one game he played he looks really good oh Or it might have been two games, yeah. Have you noticed? This is Andy 2.0 that we're looking at right now.
I don't know. Andy Dalton probably is like, I'm cool just catching a check here.
He probably doesn't want to get in. I'm thinking that maybe the Panthers just want the Bears to get a worse draft pick.
What do you mean? I don't know. Maybe they're just – I don't know.

No, that makes no sense.

I guess it probably doesn't.

But why aren't they putting Andy Dalton in the game?

Because they drafted Bryce Young.

You can't bench the guy you drafted one overall his first season.

I would consider –

Why?

You're not trying to win.

I would consider sitting him down because he's not –

Or you are trying to win, but you're not able to win.

It doesn't matter.

Like, nothing matters.

Nothing matters.

Because everything that he's being taught this season is from a guy that's not going to be there in three months. Yeah, but then you've got to get some game tape out there.
See if he can overcome adversity. You can't bench your first pick overall.
It's for his own good. For no reason, really.
There's nothing to bench him for, except for that he sucks. I think it's just like the people that are coaching the team right now are going to have...
He's not going to take any developmental steps with this group of interim coaches. Eh, more games.
Just find out how bad you are. Maybe I'm asking specifically for people that have to watch the Panthers on television.
You don't want the Bears to have the first pick. I see what you're doing.
No, I do. You want Andy Dalton to play and win a couple games.
I want Andy Dalton to play just so that I can watch the Panthers. Can I tell you what would be worse than me having the first pick? That guy right there.
No, it's not. That guy.
That guy. That guy.
Having a first pick. I'm not talking.
That guy. But there's no reason to play Andy Dalton.
What's wrong with that? The reason to play Andy Dalton is that he's better. But there's no reason to, like, he's not your future.
He's not, like, you drafted him one overall. You might be doing.
You have to play him at least. You might be doing more damage to him by keeping him in these games.
Did Mark Schleres teach us that? Like, the whole idea of, like, having a guy sit? It's like, no, you got to find out right away. I'd rather find out right now.
I i'm just saying he's not i don't think he's going to get any better with the team that's currently around him right now well if he gets worse then he's not the guy yeah but what if he wins a couple games and the fans start believing in him and they're like we don't even want a quarterback if we get the first pick yeah yeah we have bryce young yeah there's no reason they're not going to get the first pick though hank because that goes no they're saying that they they wouldn't. No, Hank's saying hypothetically if they were to win enough games and still have the first overall pick, they wouldn't take a quarterback.
But no, that pick's going to Big Cat. True.
Yeah. I have that pick.
I hold that pick. And you don't want a quarterback.
I tuck that pick in every – no, I do want a quarterback. I want Caleb Williams.
We went through this. We talked about it a lot.
I tuck that pick in every night. I kiss it right on the forehead.
I do not want Hank to get the first overall pick. I love your pick.
I love you first pick. If I could have it my way, I would suspend all NFL operations for a few years and just hold on to that first pick for as long as I could.
What are you looking like that for, Max? Are you going to cry? I'm just watching you do the show. Okay.
All right, yeah, this game was a disaster, though. NFC South is a disaster.
It's a chore to watch. Pac-12 network.
Yep. Save the Pac-12.
Put the NFC South there. Jimmy Graham's back.
Jimmy Graham is back. Huge.
He almost dunked the ball over the upright. At what point is Derek Carr going to sit down? He's getting hurt every single week.
He has so many injuries, and he's just so like, I'm not going to let. I think he knows that Jameis is better than him.
He's selfish. Yeah, he is.
It's messed up that they put Jameis in at the end of games for kneel downs, just tanking his stats. Yeah, I know.
I'm going to need Jameis 101 to make sure on the next Jameis graphic, you include some asterisks on why Jameis' all-time stats are worse because of these kneel downs. Yes.
Please do that for me. Yes.
All right, next game. Jets 30, Texans 6.
This was a wild game. Oh, was that memes? I said, fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah. This was a wild game because it was 0-0 at half, and it was all punts in the first half.
And then Zach Wilson, spark. I might be back into believing in Zach Wilson.
He looked good. Zach Wilson looked great.
He looked good, memes. He looked really, really good.
And it wasn't just the fact that he wasn't Tim Boyle. It's not just the fact that he wasn't Trevor Simeon.
He played good in the second half. And he did it in the rain.
What's up with that, memes? Is he good? He's not good. I think he's just the perfect backup quarterback where a guy goes down, he goes in, gives you a spark, and that's it.
Big spark. Can't play a full season.
I think Zach Wilson is the perfect. Well, no, it doesn't work with this analogy because I was going to say Mitch, but that has not worked out.
But, like, you can't blame a guy who gets picked number two overall if he got picked in the fourth round you'd be like zach wilson he's making strides yeah he's coming along he gets paid nothing if he was a fourth rounder you'd be optimistic about yeah but we found a diamond in the rough yeah you can't really do that with this no yeah i know it's impossible to do but i would zach wilson played legitimately good football today he played really good in fact the Jets played so well overall. I think if you're a Jets fan, you have to be hoping that Aaron Rodgers can come back.
Right, Memes? Hmm. I don't think.
I don't think it's possible. Didn't he officially say he's not? Did he? I'm pretty sure.
I saw one crazy quote that was like, oh, it doesn't matter if I re-injure it, that's not true at all. In the cosmic sense of things.
Yeah. Yeah.
The world is going to blow up one day. Just a flick of dust.
Yeah. Was it pale blue light? Yeah.
Yeah. That's all we are.
Really, the sun is going to engulf the earth. Yeah.
50 billion years. So what does it matter if he plays or not? If he tears another Achilles.
It's actually selfish and very egotistical to think that your Achilles matters. Yeah.
For the Texans, it feels like the fun for the Texans might have hit a big speed bump today because they looked bad. Tank Dell is out.
Nico Collins got hurt. CJ Stroud got a concussion, and their offense looked atrocious.
54 net passing yards. And now the Texans, like, they're right now outside of the playoff picture, and if C.J.
Stroud's out for a little bit, it feels like this might be, hey, remember the Texans? That was a fun story for a while. Next year will be good.
Yeah, so he's in the protocol right now, so he's probably not playing next week either. It was a fun season, though.
It was a building season. And you have a lot to look forward to next year.
Correct. We're going to get so many...
This season has been so bad for quarterback injuries. Next week, we're going to get Davis Mills.
Just add another name to the pile. We're talking about Zach Wilson being a spark for Tim Boyle and Trevor Simeon, and we haven't even gotten to the game where Nick Mullins was a spark for Josh Dobbs.
And who was playing Aiden O'Connell was a spark for Jimmy G. Trevor Simeon...
It's so bad. Trevor Simeon was a spark last week for Tim Boyle.
Yes. And Zach Wilson...
Tim Boyle was a spark for Zach Wilson. And Zach Wilson is now the spark.
The circle of life. He has now become the spark.
So I want to make a prediction going into this offseason. Texans are going to be everybody.
They're going to say like the sleeper team. Yeah, the Regis Philbin team is what I always call it.
Regis Philbin. The team that people think that you're not smart enough to pick for next season.
Yeah, Regis Philbin, RIP, tremendous guy, career, never met him, but him but i'm sure tremendous guy he would always i feel like it was always late august and he would do his regis and kathy lee or whatever it was called and he would do his like picks and he would pick the team that everyone had already done all the exhaustive buzz about all summer long and be like yep that now is the team that is not going to do anything. And I think it's going to be the Texans this year.
Yeah. Memes, that was fun.
That was a lot of fun. That was a great second half.
Yeah. It was almost a perfect half of football.
And Memes called it, too. He goes, the Jets are about to go on a touchdown drive right as the second half started.
And he was right. And then they scored.
Did they score in six straight possessions? Yeah, six second half scoring possessions for Zach Wilson. You guys figured it out.
You unlocked Nathaniel Hackett's offense. I think they would have scored when he fumbled too.
Yeah. Yeah.
But that's just a rain. Yeah, that was a rain.
But something clicked. I don't know what, but something clicked.
It's crazy the overhit in this game. This game for the first half looked like the most miserable football experience to attend in person maybe of the season yeah it was just rainy cold zach wilson meadowlands no points punts it was bad it was real bad and then second half was like completely different yeah no idea what happened to zach at halftime but i want i want to find out what that was that's a good segue to the most miserable football game that we've seen in a very long time.
The Vikings three Raiders zero. It was the lowest scoring game in NFL history in the indoor stadium.
Yeah. So I was thinking about other zero to three games, three to zero games.
And we all remember 2007, the Monday night football game. Steelers, Dolphins.
Steelers-Dolphins. Jeffrey kicked a field goal, I think, with, what, like, I don't know, 15 seconds left, 17 seconds left in the game to give the Steelers the win 3-0.
That game was outdoors. That game was played at Heinz Field at the time.
Like a couple days after Pittsburgh played a home game there, the field was chewed up. There was a punt that was hit in the game that just landed and didn't move it just stuck in the earth because it was so muddy this game it was played in one of the newest stadiums yeah on some of the most expensive grass and it felt like every every time i looked up at this this game one team or another had the ball at like the 40 yard line yeah and that was it and it never really got close.
It was 16 punts, eight three and outs, so half of the punts were three and outs, a missed field goal and an interception. That was the game.
The two teams combined went 11 for 34 on third down. It was so miserable.
Somehow they went three for three on fourth. That's pretty impressive.
Pretty crazy. But, yeah, it was the death of two fun storylines that were happening uh one being antonio pierce and you know came in everyone's happy josh mcdaniels was gone because josh mcdaniels by all accounts is like the worst person ever uh wins two games now they've lost three straight the other one unfortunately josh dobbs he's learned too much he knows too much the offense he's back to being josh dobbs um i wish he had i wish they had pulled the plug like a week earlier so that we could still have good memories because this was like when nick mullens has to come in and save the day it might be over for josh dobbs yeah it was very painful.
Neither quarterback played well. Josh Dobbs, they should just have him not practice during the week.
Just have him show up on game day. I was like – Be like, get out there.
We're going to roll the ball out there. And, Josh, you just do your thing that you do.
Yeah. And that would be way more entertaining because the Vikings looked – they were boring.
The Raiders didn't look – Played good defense. Didn't look any better.
I saw a report that Mark Davis met with Antonio Pierce for like an hour after the game. That would be something if he got fired.
He was probably just crying. As interim head coach.
Mark Davis was probably crying in Antonio Pierce's arms, big burly arms. They're there.
They're there, Mark. The best part of this game was the keg stand celebration by the Vikings defense.
They got to turn over and go to the end zone, and they just lift the guy up like he's doing a kegstand.

One of the other guys on the defense just walked around

pretending to be drunk in the end zone, which was awesome.

That was very cool.

That's how I felt watching this.

I wish it made me football drunk.

The only other part of the game that I liked was the Vikings have a player,

Josh Medellus.

I don't know if I pronounced his name right.

How many positions do you think he's played this year? Mr. Positions? He's Mr.
Positions. On defense, four.
He's played all of them. What? So they showed the graphic.
He's played strong safety, free safety, left cornerback, right cornerback, slot cornerback, left inside linebacker, right inside linebacker, middle linebacker, left outside linebacker, right outside linebacker, right defensive end, left defensive end. I guess he hasn't played nose tackle.
That's Mr. Positions.
How insane is that? It is pretty crazy. Also, I guess, shout out to their defense.
Flores is doing some stuff that we haven't seen ever. The Vikings defense is one of those defenses at the beginning of the season.
Everyone's like, they didn't look like they made big steps from last year because that was their big problem. But they clearly have.
They're playing a lot better, and it does suck because if you're a Vikings fan, like Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson, if they're playing on this team right now, they are a team that would be a threat in the NFC. So I read a headline and the first paragraph of an article about this defense.
Go on. Not to brag.
I usually cut off at just like halfway through the headline. I look at the picture and I go on vibes.
This time I read the first paragraph. Brian Flores has invented a new way to play defense that's never been done in the NFL in terms of their zone blitzing and how they design the coverage on the back end.
No coach can recognize it. No coach can figure it out.
But he just like sat down. He's like, you know what? I've had a couple years to think this through.

I'm just going to invent a new defense.

So I guess part of that is having a guy that can play literally every position on the team.

It's insane.

That graphic, I was like, how is this possible?

How is someone can play cornerback and then also play defensive end?

But he's done it.

It doesn't make sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, this game was tough. It was a tough watch.
I just wanted a 0-0 tie. Is that too much to ask? It would have been great.
And it's also, yeah, it has been done. How many times, Jake? 73.
73 times. That's insane that there have been 73.
First by the Dayton Triangles. Yeah.
The Dayton Triangles. And the Cleveland Tigers.
Who could forget? 1920. Yeah.
I mean, that's such a mismatch in names. The Triangles and the Tigers? Yeah.
The Dayton Triangles. And the Cleveland Tigers.
Who could forget? 1920. Yeah.
I mean, that's such a mismatch in names. The Triangles and the Tigers? Yeah, the Tigers are going up against the Triangles.
Yeah, well, they tied. Yeah.
And the mascot or the drawing that they had that represented the Dayton Triangles. How did people exist with football as it was back in the 1920s? How did the league ever survive to ever see the beautiful forward pass why were they oh it was named after their home field triangle park so that was a situation where it was um like anchorman uh michael scott's character which is naming things like what should we be named well it's triangle park yep okay triangles triangles will be the triangles yeah so i just wanted a0 tie.
I would like to see that at one point in my lifetime, and this was probably the closest that we're going to get to it. Oh, this is our – you know who head coached the Dayton Triangles? Our guy Greasy Neal.
Oh, really? We talked about Greasy Neal. Yeah.
Because Greasy Neal, I think, played football and baseball and was like – he did everything. He coach in in college in the nfl yeah he won a couple nfl championships greasy neal it was in the war and he played yeah he played for the reds he was a beast greasy neal we did get a josh rosen stat line out of josh dobbs today it was so bad it was 10 it's over 10 for 23, 63 yards.
Yeah.

So I feel like if you're the Vikings, you go with Nick Mullins or maybe Jaron Hall.

Because remember, he actually had a little pep before he got concussed.

I guess so.

Yeah.

But, I mean, just see what you got.

You might as well.

Okay.

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Boys, breaking moves huge breaking moves if you remember on thursday max and hank will not remember because they're a 24-hour stream we were previewing games and we said uh we are jake browning guys because there's just no way that Jake Browning doesn't listen to this show. And his DMs were open.
He didn't follow any of us. And I DMed him on Thursday at 310, and I said, Jake, we're rooting for you this weekend.
Thanks for listening to the show. A little presumptuous of me, just assuming he does.
He just wrote me back at 9.05 said thank you big fan of the show wow let's go jake browning we are jake browning guys i love it so we called our shot so jake uh well yeah cluster of the quarterback yeah well i said we'll get him on after the season i don't want look he's got something going you know it's going good right now we don't want to mess with it yeah jake, if you listen to Friday's show, just know that there's a reason why me and Big Cat aren't in the NFL and you're in the NFL. But from two guys who watch a lot of NFL, it's time to cash in.
Yeah. Cash in.
Cash in. We'll be your agents.
Yeah. We also have other breaking moves.
Breaking moves. We have a uh battle going on on the pardon my take text chain this is producers producing it's producers producing i'll re i'll read them in order um hank sent us a stat and it says this is a shocking stat thank you since 2000 there have been 116 teams with 10 plus wins through week 14 of the NFL season.

Among that group, the 2023... Since 2000, there have been 116 teams with 10-plus wins through week 14 of the NFL season.

Among that group, the 2023 Eagles rank 103rd

with a point differential of plus 21.

So relevant.

That is a relevant stat.

And then Max responded with a Patriots are eliminated

from the playoffs graphic with the lighthouse. Which is just a lash-out stat.
By the way. That's irrelevant.
Wait, no. Is it true or not? It's true, but we're not.
That was true. Did that happen today? Good question.
It did happen today. But it happened.
It's NFL news from today. That is from today.
But we're talking about. We're not talking about.
We're talking about relevance. We haven't talked about the Patriots today.
And then Hank responded with a tweet from our good friend Adam Ferron, a.k.a. Sal Palantonio.
Angelo Palantonio. Angelo Palantonio, sorry.
He wrote, no hyperbole. The Eagles look like one of the worst teams in the NFL over the last two weeks.
Offense bad. Defense bad.
I'm generally a positive person. There's no denying how abysmal the Eagles have looked.
Sad That's actually a good point by Roan. You keep going after the defense.
The offenses look very bad as well, Max. I don't think the...
I can watch that game and go home and be like, that was a weird game for the offense. I think the defense is actually that bad.
They've had a couple weird games here now. But that was just like...
Yeah, they was a bunch of defenses and they've and both have been weird games but there were fault it was turnovers you say turnover luck is a thing and our two best receivers just dropping balls that they do not normally drop if they don't have a rhythm yeah if there was like trouble in paradise a bunch of stall drives and like couldn't get the ball i didn't see that as much tonight. I think that the – like I'm not worried about the offense.

Is Mariota healthy?

Well, my question was going to be, is Jalen Hurts okay?

He might not be okay.

He might not be healthy.

I mean, A.J. Brown and Devontae Smith just kept dropping balls.

Yeah, they dropped some balls.

Other than the fumble, I don't think that Hurts even looked that bad today.

Okay. Well, the offenses looked bad.
They't think that Hurts even looked that bad today. Okay.

Well, the offenses looked bad.

They scored 13 points and 19 points against the Cowboys and the Niners.

Correct, but like eye test.

But the offense does have to score points.

Like if the defense played 20 points better, they still would have gone 0-2.

Yeah, you say turnover luck is a thing.

It is.

Yeah. But that doesn't mean that if you commit a lot of turnovers, you're just unlucky.
You guys also got a fumbled touchdown. Yeah, good point, Hank.
That's actually, you're absolutely right. We're talking about the offense.
You said turnover luck. Yeah, no, that ball bounce.
We're talking about the offense. And you actually scored points.
So the offense actually only scored six points. Two field goals.
I get it. I get it.
But I can watch that game and be like, okay. The offense didn't score a touchdown, but we're good.
Yeah, that's a good point, Hank. I'm not worried about the offense.
Sounds like you should be. You didn't score a touchdown.
Okay, okay, I get it. What do you want to keep saying? Okay, let's move forward.
Is this next game against the Seahawks, is that a must win? Yes. Oh! What happens if you lose, though? You're still in the playoffs, right? Well, you guys keep doing it.
It's either a must win or it's not. And you fuckers keep saying this, and then no matter what I say, I'm still bad.
Well, no, I'm just saying that you were 0 for 2 in your last two must-wins. But when I don't say it's a must-win, you get on me.
When I do say it's a must-win, you get on me. You fucking suck.
There it is. At some point, Max, when you lose enough must-wins in a row, you've got to change the vibe.
I lose them all. The Max hater.
You did get a bunch of new max fans on on thursday after your mvp performance of the 24 hours you guys just put me on the show and then try to make me mad and then people are like this guy sucks because he gets mad all the time but it's because you guys just make me mad we don't have to try very hard i i we were eating dinner and i said to max i was like is this one of those nights that you wish You weren't the producer of the party And he said yes I just hate watching games with you guys I hate watching Eagles games I like watching games with my boys And you guys are all my boys Me too I cherish these days the season. Someday we'll all be gone, and you'll be sad.
I'll be watching Eagles games with people who like the Eagles. You have to watch the Super Bowl with Roan.
And me. I like the Eagles at that point.
It's just sad. Okay.
All right, next game. Big, big news for the Jake Browning fan club.
We are the charter members. I love Jake Browning.
We called our shot. He listens to the show.
We should send him a bunch of Omaha steaks and a bunch of honey. Yeah.
Eat up, big boy. You need your strength.
Write exactly that on the note. Okay.
49ers 28, Seahawks 16. 49ers are just really fucking good.
Here's how good the 49ers are um Christian McCaffrey had a 17 yard 72 yard play Debo Samuel had a 54 yard play Brandon Ayoub had a 45 yard play Kittle had a 44 yard play it's pretty fucking scary when all four of those guys are just like yeah let me rip off an insanely big play I would say the 49ers at their best are better than any team in football. Yes.
At their best, they can't be beat. No.
When Trent Williams, I mean, Max actually made a good point. Trent Williams should be in the conversation for MVP.
He's mine. Yeah.
My MVP. Yeah.
He's, I mean, without, when the 49ers have had Debo Samuel and Trent Williams and everyone else, they have not lost. I think they might have lost the Browns game with them.
I don't think Debo played in that game, actually. I think Trent was in that game.
Yeah. And they lost because of a missed field goal.
Yes, but they are a juggernaut in every sense of the word. And the Seahawks season is officially spiraled.
This is a first four-loss losing streak, four-game losing streak for Pete Carroll. So that's pretty impressive that he's gone that long.
But yeah, and Jamal Adams covering in space is one of the funniest things. I love it.
I love seeing Jamal Adams. He looks like us out there.
I love seeing him get beat. I love every time he stinks.
He's a bad guy. It puts a smile on my face.
Bad guy. Yikes.
Yikes. That's what I have to say.
Yikes. Play that clip of him just trying to run after Debo.
Yikes. Yikes.
Big yikes. It's, okay, two different levels of bad guy.
But you know how we love watching Greg Hardy get his ass kicked? Yeah. He's not that bad guy.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's the same vibe where it's like, I do enjoy watching Jamal Adams not be able to cover anybody. Yes.
It is pretty good. Yeah.
The 49ers now, Jake, we talked about the bird gauntlet, asterisk that you brought up. Yep.
They've now beaten the Seahawks. It's not the bird gauntlet because they've had the Seahawks, Eagles, then they have Seahawks again, then the Cards, Ravens, no Falcons in there.
But there's a chance that they play the Falcons in the playoffs, at which time we will anoint them to be victors of the bird gauntlet. All right.
Just to clean up. You can't have the Seahawks in there twice and act like you've beaten every bird team.
Well, no one ever said every bird team. That's what the bird gauntlet is.
Did we not just talk about the Eagles having a gauntlet? I didn't see some other teams. The bird gauntlet is a very specific type of gauntlet.
Yeah. Okay.
Just for the record. But they're off to a good start against their mini gauntlet.
Yes, they are. The Niners are really good.
Outside of the Cowboys and the Niners are the two teams in the NFC now't we we should have given the cowboys more credit they are they look really fucking good they stepped up this was the big test for them and they passed actually do think that if those two teams played again it would be closer than the first time i don't know who would win but the cowboys are now in the conversation yes yes but then yeah the niners are are just way better than every other team outside of the cowboys which you you actually, they're way better than the Cowboys too, because we have one piece of evidence and they were way better than the Cowboys in that game. So the Niners are just on a different level.
We have to have a conversation though, PFT, about our good friend DK. Yeah.
He's number one in the Diva ranking. Is he Diva or is he just like the George Pickens live wire? I think he might be Diva he was doing sign language for i can't believe drew lock is my quarterback when he slammed his helmet on the bench and broke everything that so i think that answers your question yeah that dk had to learn sign language because he knew he couldn't speak anymore because any everything that came out was diva well uh fact again we love the diva wide receiver he's so much fun to watch he had an awesome touchdown incredible body control but he's a diva yeah dk learned apparently he learned sign language when he was in college and then he started relearning over the past two weeks so that he can do touchdown celebrations and also shit talk his quarter well no i was i was making a joke about but he probably when he his helmet.
That's what that was American sign language for. But he did do sign language again after he scored a touchdown.
I don't know what he said. I saw a tweet that said he spelled out my dog's name is Woof.
Oh. So I don't know if that was a typo.
What is it called if you slur your words doing sign language? I don't know. He might have had a typo, but apparently that's what he said.
Or it might have been a tweet that I misread but um yeah that's his touchdown celebration it's just okay i'm gonna make roger goodell go to his decoder ring and figure out if he has to find me for anything that i said i think he's i think the diva wide receiver rankings are as such dk metcalf one stefan digs too digs is definitely up there yeah for sure he's a clear two and it goes back and forth each week i would say dk more of a diva digs might be malkington he could he might be a malkington borderlines both of them have the thing where it's like they're so so good but at least once or twice a game you're like it doesn't feel like they want to be here yeah um odell used to have that yeah but i don't think he has anymore i don't think he's good enough to be a diva anymore today was pretty good he was very good today but i'm saying like you have to be a clear head and shoulders number one odell was that for a lot of his career now he's you know he's more of a piece of a puzzle yeah dk he's definitely he's in the car again we like the diva wide receiver it's a lost art i think it's a combination with dk though that you don't get with a lot of other Diva wide receivers where he is kind of a Diva,

but he's also like a really fucking pissed off Diva.

Yeah.

To the point where he's a physical Diva.

And so he'll take it out.

Did he get kicked out today?

No, but he had a couple of plays that were close to the edge.

That's what I like about him is his Diva-tude. He did get kicked out.

He did get kicked out.

Yeah, I thought he did.

He got booted?

Yeah.

I missed that.

Yeah.

Or his Diva-tude goes up against the other team as much as it does against his own team sometimes. Correct.
Which, if you're going to be a diva, that's the way to do it. Yeah, the Seahawks are in big-time trouble.
They're not good right now. And Devin Witherspoon got hurt.
They are playing next week, fortunately.

What was the stat?

103rd out of 106 teams that started 10-0.

So they have a chance.

Yeah.

They have a chance next week.

They do.

That'd be a good game.

Is that a primetime game?

I don't know.

Is that a primetime game?

Seahawks-Eagles?

I don't believe so.

No, it is. It got flexed Monday night.
Oh, yeah. We should stream that.
That was flex of the year. Come on.
Come on. Mondays.
Mondays are sacred. You don't watch football on Mondays.
I watch Eagles. It's Max time.
It's Max time. Actually, that's always a treat, though, when you do get a standalone game that you don't have to stream.
Yeah, and you don't have to work after. after yeah that's pretty good so max i want you i actually give you permission to get hammered drunk during that game yeah as long as even if you're losing max if you're losing you still have to do your videos yeah can i come yes hank can come no uh no no hank you should you're a producer right i am you can produce max that night yeah what does that what that even mean? He's going to produce you.
You're going to produce. He's going to produce.
Yeah, the Niners' only last real test is going to be the Ravens. I think that's Monday Night Football.
And it's, oh no, it's actually Christmas Day. So it's Christmas Day night.
I love that. Yeah.
Which, by the way, we will have a show on that. I'm going to repeat it a bunch of times because I don't want people to be like, why didn't you tell us? So this is my first time telling you.
Christmas week, we're going to have a show on Tuesday because we're not going to record Christmas Eve. We're going to have a show on Tuesday, recapping everything from the weekend, a show on Friday, getting ready for the next weekend, and then same thing for the week of New Year's.
We're going to do a show on Tuesday, so we'll record Monday night after the playoff games, college football, and another show Friday. Here on Monday night.
Yeah. But I just want, because it's a little bit of a funky schedule.
It's so stupid. They should never have, they should never allow Christmas and New Year's on a Monday.
I agree with that. That should be illegal illegal best time is when it's on i think a thursday yeah because you get that bonus bonus bump yeah you get the bonus time um okay so does anybody call dk mekay yet what once peter king starts calling him mekay metcalf that's when yeah that's when you're really a diva and i totally understand dk's frustration they the seahawks have what were were they, 6-2? No, they were 6-3.
6-3. You talked me out of betting them to win the NFC West.
Thank God. Because they have fallen off a cliff.
Now, that being said, I wouldn't be shocked if they beat the Eagles. No, everyone can beat the Eagles.
Yeah. They're one of what? Was that set? 103? 106.
They're 103rd out of 106. Okay, yeah, so the Seahawks could beat them.
And one of those teams had to have been that Steelers team. Oh, for sure.
Yeah. Okay, wrapping up two more games.
Broncos 24, Chargers 7. The Broncos are – they probably will make the playoffs.
I feel like they're going to make the playoffs. They're playing some good ball.
The Chargers are just a debacle. I guess they're just not going to fire Brandon Staley now because they're just going to wait until after the season.
But Justin Herbert got hurt. Didn't matter.
When he was in, it wasn't good. Yeah, they were bad.
We talked about it on Friday. The Chargers have no offense.
They're getting by on just total. Remember the Chargers last last year the year before when they had offensive explosion everywhere keenan allen is it and austin ecker looks slow as fuck he's slow you get up to 13 miles per hour the other week yeah and justin herbert was in before he broke his finger he was nine for 17 for 96 yards and interception i i assume he's out for a while.
He's got a broken finger on his throwing hand. Yeah, shut him down.
He's breaking all his hands. Just shut him down.
Wait for a new coach to come in and see if you can fix him. Yeah, Easton Stick.
Easton Stick played. So that's pretty much all you need to know about the Chargers today.
The Broncos, this was a take-care-of-business game. Yeah.
They took care of business. And Corlin Sutton was really fucking good.
I'm going to say something that might be reckless. Oh, man.
Should I say it? Do you know what I'm going to say? I know what you're going to say. Do you know what I'm going to say? I looked at the schedule.
Yeah, so did I. The Broncos can still win the AFC West if Mike Pence has the courage.
They're one game out. They're one game out.
And there's a world where they only lose one of the remaining games. They could run the table.
The problem is the Chiefs' schedule is pretty easy. The Chiefs play the Patriots, Raiders, Bengals, Chargers.
Jake Browning, though, he's going to whoop that ass. Yeah, I looked at the Bengals.
I thought maybe that's their loss. Maybe this is the patriots opportunity to play spoiler hank for old times they got two chances they're playing the broncos as well they could spoil both of them spoil somebody all right so i don't think that they're going to win that division i think it's still the chiefs we're not going to fall into the trap i just fell into the trap i just fell into the trap of saying yeah maybe the chiefs won't win the chiefs are still going to win that division, but the Broncos are going to make the playoffs, and they're good.

Yeah, really good.

They're just a good team, period.

They're not a great team.

They're a good team, way better.

Sean Payton right now, I guess he was right,

not trading away his players.

That ass-kicking from the Dolphins probably had a lot to do with it.

Wait, breaking moves, sorry.

Hank's comedy set just ended. Oh, wow.
Oh, that wasn't that bad. You know? That was a long time.
It was a long time. Here's what you can do.
That was a long time, dude. If you want to do a comedy show that lasts an hour, just ask Max a bunch of questions about the Eagles.
Mm-hmm. A little pro tip.
Dad, we might allow you to have Max as a prop.

As a plant in the audience.

As a prop.

You can cut them in half.

Or if they're in the Super Bowl at that time.

No, they're not crazy.

With the Eagles?

Yeah.

Come on.

Yeah, the Broncos, they're still alive to win the AFC West.

It's crazy.

They're alive. And it wouldn't be the craziest thing in the world if it happened.

It's probably not going to happen.

But the fact that we're having that conversation.

It'd be pretty crazy.

It'd be pretty nuts.

Yeah.

Especially considering how... They're crazy.
They're alive. And it wouldn't be the craziest thing in the world if it happened.
It's probably not going to happen. But the fact that we're having that conversation.

It'd be pretty crazy.

It'd be pretty nuts.

Yeah.

Especially considering how bad they looked in September.

They looked real bad.

Real bad.

They were maybe the worst team in football.

Yeah.

And so now Russell Wilson, maybe he's still not great, but they're winning.

He's good. Our friend Mark Slareth ripped him a new one the other day about what uh just the russell wilson stuff like he's running into sacks he's doing checkdowns not looking down the field like just his stats can look good but if you're watching the game there's so many plays that he's leaving on the table which is fair fair points you might be leaving a be leaving a few plays on the table.
But considering what we were looking at earlier this season and last year, it's night and day with Russell Wilson. Absolutely.
And Cortland Sutton's really, really good. Jerry Judy, Javante Williams, they have weapons.
They're not a bad team. Yeah.
Is it the quarterback's coach for the broncos i believe it is is it this guy

uh davis webb you remember davis yeah of course so i think he's the quarterback coach

or off it i think he's qb coach he he looks way more disheveled than i thought that he would look

really i had for some reason i had memory hold davis webb as being a clean cut guy

he's got a little charlie white Stanford no texas tech tech i'm thinking of davis mills

Thank you. I had memory hold Davis Webb as being a clean cut guy.
He's got a little Charlie Whitehurst. Is he Stanford? No.

Texas Tech.

Texas Tech.

I'm thinking of Davis Mills.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, he's done a good job.

Well, you know, he's Colorado now.

Yeah.

He got Colorado'd.

He's got the beard and the long hair.

He got Colorado'd.

Whatever they're doing with Davis Webb and Sean Payton out there, good job.

I'm going to put them in my personal coach of the year rankings. Yes, yes.
All right. Last game.
got colorado whatever they're doing with davis webb and sean payton out there uh good job i'm

gonna put them in my personal coach of the year rankings yes yes all right last game bills 20 chiefs 17 what a game not the best played game both quarterbacks were not like playing at elite level it wasn't like the uh the divisional round we saw but whatever it was three or four years ago the 13 second games, but the Bills playoff hopes stay alive.

We talked about it on Friday. They were 35-1 to win the Super Bowl.
They went down to 18-1. The big story from this game, though, is Patrick Mahomes complaining about Kadarius Toney being off sides in what was one of the coolest plays ever because he threw it to Travis Kelsey,vis kelsey who then threw it backwards a perfect spiral to cadarious tony who scored a touchdown flag called it back cadarious tony was standing offsides to start the play and patrick mahomes i i don't remember a time when he's been like this after a game no in the handshake with josh allen jake is probably heated about that yeah very bad sportsmanship yeah handshake.
He was complaining about the play. If you saw, listen, I know that there's a lot of times in an NFL game where there are subjective calls and a lot of times when you're lining up as a receiver, they give you the benefit of the doubt.
I don't think I've ever seen an offensive player more offsides than Kadarius Tony was. He was in the pool report after the game where they asked Carl Cheffers, great referee name by the way, Carl Cheffers, they asked him about the call.
He said, yeah, you know, sometimes we do give a little bit of leeway, but if our lineman can't actually see the ball because your player is so far off sides, if it's that blatant, we will throw a flag 10 times out of 10. Also, it's so funny because Andy Reid complained, Pat from Holmes complained.
Notice that none of them are saying he wasn't off sides yeah he was their complaint is that you can't call that because it made a cool play less cool which in theory i understand that because i always think that if a play is cool enough they should just throw away whatever penalty flags on the field but if you're a player you have to understand yeah they threw the flag at the start of the play because your guy was very, very offside. Well, and if you go under the same reasoning that it was technically a penalty, but in this time and place, you can't call a ticky tack call like that.
Well, unfortunately for the Chiefs, they've just lost their Super Bowl from last year. That's very true.
That's the part that's like, Pat Mahomes, I love you. You you you're great you're the best quarterback in the world but you do have to realize that if you're going to make this complaint you open yourself up to literally the play that ended the super bowl last year and he did say uh that last week i like to see the boys play when they got hosed on that pass interference so he he built up a little bit of credit with the refs by being like, I'm not going to complain about a blown call today, but then a week from now I'm going to reverse on that entirely.
Also, what Mahomes is asking for here, I'm not a very smart man. I don't understand physics that well.
I don't understand anything about the universe or the time-space continuum. but i do know that he was asking for a

flag that was thrown he says that they should not have thrown a flag at the start of the play because the end of the play that happened afterwards was way cooler right unfortunately for patrick mahomes the way time works is that they threw the flag and then the play happened And here's another part of this.

So I would normally kind of agree with him if it's like hey look this is you know the ref is usually talking to the wide receivers there is a ongoing dialogue of hey you got to back up you're not on the side like this does happen we see this in football but the NFL did make a point of doing this this year. So in 2021, this exact penalty was called one time.
Last year, this exact penalty was called two times. I remember one of those.
This year, this penalty was called 11 times so far. So that's just coaching and Kadarius Toney.
It's clear they've made it a point of emphasis. It's clear they're going to call it more.
You't then be like we never saw this coming you never call it no no they do call it this year they have called it this year they've told everyone they're going to call it this year and what they do they called it and again it just goes back to it Mahomes and Andy Reid are not saying he was not off sides they're admitting that he was off sides but you can't call it there right but you can't call it and then if we do the you can't call it there we just go right back to james bradbury yes so i

which was a penalty and should and it was james bradbury said that but the argument that everyone

said is you can't call it there it's the biggest moment in the super bowl but that's you you just

fell into a trap he mousetrapped himself also is cadarius tony doing this cadarius tony shit for

brains is he's now cost you two games personally at wide receiver which is very hard to do to say that one player is directly responsible for two losses with tony i don't think that you can even make the argument right it is he he definitely is it was a great play though shout out to travis kelsey that play is open probably 10 times a game downfield if you have your guy running in the right place and the person with the ball being on the lookout for it because of how the defense converges on the ball carrier they're not worried about anybody else on the field right that plays open all the time that's what I've been saying for the last seven years on this show Travis Kelsey's got balls to throw that and it was an awesome it was an awesome throw and and Mahomes after the game said it's tough to swallow not only for me and football in general to take away greatness like that for a guy to make a play like that you want to see the guys on the field decide the game i hope they still show it whenever he goes into the hall of fame because that's a legendary moment that we don't really get to witness i'm gonna say they're probably not going to i think they should it was that good they will it was that good look at you emotional mahomes yeah almost very very emotional here's also um just an idea and again this is we're not criticizing he's the best quarterback in the nfl but maybe instead of yelling at the refs you should yell at your receivers because they're dog shit real bad and like outside of rasheed rice they just drop balls and fumble balls and and and the Chiefs are broken offensively. I think you just need to realize that Kadarius Toney is maybe probably definitely better off not being on the field.
Although he did score the touchdown from Travis Kelsey that's going to be played in the Hall of Fame. He had a Hall of Fame catch on that one.
Other things in this game, Tony Romo called Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey's wife. Yeah.
Interesting, Tony. My theory on that was that Tony's got a thing for Taylor Swift, and he called her his wife so that she'd have to be like, no, I'm not actually his wife.
And Tony's like, oh, really? You're not. Oh.
So you're single. So you're technically single.
Oh, speaking of that, I put you guys on Jeff Darlington, Taylor Swift watch the other night. Yeah.
When Jeff was sitting outside Lambeau Field, Taylor rolls up. He takes a video of her going in.
She turns back and looks at him. Today, she drives by in the golf cart.
She gives him a cute little wave. I think Taylor Swift has a thing for Jeff Darlington.
I think that we've seen it now. He's taken by the NFL.
By the game. Yeah, by the game.
Taylor Swift also had just looking so fierce walking in the tunnel beforehand. That's it.
Swifties now have to deal with losing football games, which is so funny because they just hopped on and they're like, Chiefs always win. The Swifties are going to hate.
We watched them kill the Bears. We watched them beat the Jets.
They're going to hate Kadarius Tony. Yeah, and just losing football games sucks.
So welcome to our world. Losing sucks.
Sunday nights usually suck. Sucks for you now.
So yeah, the Chiefs are in trouble. And then the Bills, I mean, Josh Allen was doing all the Josh Allen things today, just mashing all the buttons.
I don't know why the Bills don't feature James Cook more. He's so electric.
Every time he touches a ball. The first half he was dominating.
That seam pass that he caught? I feel like that's always open. The running back taking the seam like that.
And then he had won a wheel route too, which was awesome. So the Bills are still alive.
They've got to beat the Cowboys next week because they don't have a margin for error. And it does get a little easier because I think they play the Patriots and the Chargers who might not have Justin Herbert.
But this is another must win next week. Backs against the wall time for Buffalo.
Yeah, and I mean it's actually not a bad spot for them because the Cowboys are coming off a huge win against the Eagles at home Sunday Night Football. Now they have to go to Buffalo.
You've got to hope it's cold. Do you think there's any chance that McDermott was playing like 10-dimensional chess waiting waiting for this story to break? He leaked it to Ty Dunn.
At the right time so that he could be like, nobody believes in us. It's us against the world.
Everyone's coming after your coach for saying that the 9-11 hijackers did a good job. It's time to circle the wagons and go on a run here.
I'm just saying. Yeah.
I'm just saying. Back's against genius move by sean mcdermott genius move pairing al-qaeda listen i still bet him 35 to one even after i was momentarily deterred by you breaking that news to me on friday uh but yeah i the bill i don't i still think it's it's a it's still going to be very hard for them to make the playoffs but if they there, given what's happened in the AFC in terms of injuries and the flaws teams have looked like, they are just as live as anyone else if they get into the dance.
Yeah, the point is you'd rather suck out loud for most of the year than have a star player get hurt early on in the season. Right, right.
And the Bills defense is not playing better. I mean, I couldn't believe Von Miller was playing, but he is.
Yeah, he's battling back too. He's back.
He's out there. Yeah, he's out there.
I saw Andy Reid complaining that he was offside. He was.
And he was offside. I saw another breakdown from Mitchell Schwartz.
Yeah. Parallax effect.
We got parallax effect. Oh.
He was actually onside. Oh, because I saw the dots and he looked offsides.
Oh, on the dots? Yeah, on the dots he looked very offside. You were on Bezos' vision.
I saw the dots. Nate Tice tweeted out the dots, and he was offsides.
According to the parallax effect, per Mitchell Schwartz, he was onside. I, um, Chiefs fans, you just, you have to deal with this.
Like, I don't think anyone feels bad for you. No.
There's no one who feels bad. Not really.
You get to root for the Chiefs. That's awesome.
Yeah. You get to root for Patrick Mahomes for another decade plus.
Yeah. So you had a couple losses that maybe had referees on the wrong side.
It's also worked out for you, again, in the past. So you can't be upset.
You can be upset. You can be upset.
You're definitely allowed to be upset. You can be upset, but just know.
I mean, they won the Super Bowl nonsense. Right.
So you can be upset. Just know that if you bring it up, you're going to get the response of James Bradbury.
Hank, you also went to the Super Bowl on a Frank Clark offside. Frank Clark offside.
He was offsides in that play. They called it.
Yeah, but in a moment like that. Can't call it.
Can't call it. The refs need to have a better sense of the moment.
That's all I'm asking. The last two minutes, there should just be no penalties.
Let the boys play. Let the boys maul each other.
I like that. Holding everything.
It's like in hockey when they go to playoffs, like in the overtime periods in the playoffs, the refs just swallow the whistle. Yeah.
Let them run out there. Yeah, just let them go.
Let them go. Okay.
That was a great game, though. It wasn't the best-played game, like I said.
It feels like both those defenses have kind of figured out the offenses because when they play, it doesn't feel like it's the shootout that we had in that playoff game. It was still a history game just because you have all that history between those two quarterbacks.
You do have history. And I don't know what it is, but the Bills have never played the Chiefs at home.
Nope. They just always are an arrowhead.
Yep. It just always works that way.
And now we might get Patrick Mahomes the real question about his career. Can he win a road playoff game? I want to find out.
I want to find out, too. And it looks like we – I mean, they are – I think I saw that nerd Steve Kornacki said they have a 9% chance to get the one seed now.
9%. So if...
The Dolphins and Ravens play each other, so that helps them. We'll see what happens.
We'll see what happens. But at the end of the day, in the playoffs, I'm probably still going to be betting on Patrick Mahomes.
Yeah. No matter who he's playing against.
All right. Let's do our overly direct take presented by DirecTV.
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So let's do our overly direct take of the weekend.

Hank.

My overly direct take of the weekend is that the Eagles are going to lose

the first round of the playoffs.

Oh, Hank.

Now, Hank, you wouldn't have just said that because you didn't have an overly direct take and you wanted to say something that would make Max angry, would you? No. No, I've been thinking about it.
I was watching the defense. Defense wins championships.
Yeah. And the Eagles' defense doesn't exist, really.
Grade that overly direct take, Max, as you always do. It's hot.
Hot take. It's overly direct.
Yep. PFT, what's your overly direct take? My overly direct take is that the New England Patriots are eliminated from the playoffs.
Oh. Now, PFT, you didn't come up with that.
That's my take. You didn't come up with that overly direct take because that was texted to us.
No, I would never come up with that because it was texted to us. I just don't think that the Patriots are any good.
Fact or take? Fact. Both.
That is a fact. Yeah, I think it's both too.
It's both. I have an overly direct take that is not just off the top of my head.
It's something that I've actually been thinking about for the last two days because I was lucky enough to attend the Army-Navy game on Saturday at Foxborough and I got to see the lighthouse in person. In Foxborough.

In Foxborough, what'd I say?

At Foxborough.

Okay.

And I got to see the lighthouse in person.

And my overly direct take is, there's never been anyone who's been more wrong about anything

ever in the world than Henry Lockwood about this lighthouse.

It doesn't even have a top to it.

It doesn't have a top.

What are you talking about?

It doesn't have a real top to it.

So it can get rank on?

Where do you think people stand? The lighthouse, you got to have the top to it. There's no top.
It's got to have a top. What the fuck are you talking about? It just, there's no top.
A lighthouse has to have a light. No, a lighthouse, it has like a guardrail around the outside.
It has that? All lighthouses have this top where it gets really skinny at the top. It doesn't have the top.
It's the same fucking length the whole time. Look.
See, that's what a lighthouse looks like. You get the head of the penis.
It doesn't have it. It's all shaft.
It's uncircumcised. Hank's never been more wrong about anything.
That's my overly direct take. I did have probably hundreds of people send me pictures of the lighthouse this weekend.
Yeah. It looks awesome.
I think it's worse. It's bad.
It looks bad. I'll say this.
It's a lot smaller in person than I thought. Yeah.
It would be a lot smaller in person. You would never say that about Cape Hatteras.
You would be real disappointed if you went to Cape Hatteras then. Cape Hatteras is beautiful.
It's a great lighthouse. Jake, what's your overly direct take? My overly direct take, brought to you by DirecTV, is that the Texans, excuse me, the Broncos, Bengals, and Bills are all out of the playoffs right now.
They're all going to be the wildcard teams in the AFC. Broncos, Bengals, Bills.
Yes, they're going to overtake the Browns, Steelers, and Colts. The Browns are not going to make the playoffs.
Yes. Wow.
Disagree. I disagree as well.
I think a few weeks ago, my overly direct take was that Joe Flacco is going to take them to the playoffs. Oh, Jake, Jake.
Conflicting overly direct take. Before we sat down to record this show, Jake said, I am fired up about sportsmanship.
Yes. I'm going to give you 10 seconds to be fired up about sportsmanship, starting now.
I understand in the heat of the moment that Patrick Mahomes was upset, but he should not have expressed that while he's doing the handshake with Josh Allen. Jail.
There's 10 seconds. That's a great that's a tight 10 seconds.
I think he should have just been like, good game, and then he could have complained. Bad sportsmanship.
But not saying it to him.

Max, what's your overly direct take?

Bronny James will win an NBA Finals before the Patriots make the playoffs again.

Oh!

Bronny James played in his first game at USC today. He's going to make the NBA?

He lost his minus 1,000 favorites.

He scored four points.

In overtime, the Long Beach State.

Yeah, but you know Bron's going to make them draft him.

Before the Patriots make the playoffs? Yes. Play, he might.
Actually, no. Now, Max, this isn't because you're a wounded animal right now.
He might hit the NBA because he's a Bron son. He's not going to play.
He'll be on a roster. He'll probably be on LeBron's team.
Actually, by the time that happens, LeBron's going to be wash-washed. They're not going to make the draft Bronny.

They're just going to bring him in for camp.

With no hope in sight.

And they'll put him as the last guy on the pitch.

They're about to have the number one, two, or three pick, dude.

No, not one.

That's mine.

Yeah.

I got that.

I told you.

I fucking put it right next to me.

I drive into work every day, put the buckle on.

He's fucking patting on the head like, hey, there he is.

I carry it around, put it right next to me.

Maserati Marv.

I sit down.

People come by and like, hey, what is that sitting next to you?

Is that, oh, this is the number one pick?

Baby Yoda.

Yeah, exactly.

That is exactly how I treat the number one pick and walk around.

That's cute.

Yeah.

Hank, who would throw the ball to Maserati Marv?

Maybe we sign Flacco. That sounds like a playoff Who would throw the ball to Maserati Marv? Maybe we'd sign Flacco.

That sounds like a playoff team, huh?

That'd be smart.

If I had to do

a will or something, I'd list

all my financial assets and

I'd include the number one pick.

Like, I have this.

That's a lot.

I thought you were going to say more than you have.

You're going to list, like, your money goes to the number one pick. That too.
In case of a death, give all my money to the number one pick. Okay, good job.
Overly direct takes. Let's finish up with who's back of the week.
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People were saying during the 24-hour stream, the chat was trying to get me and PFT to give Memes and Evan cash out of our pocket here's a little fun fact pardon my cheesesteak we all contribute to it and we all benefit from it so that gets spread around to everyone so if you love the show if you love the behind the scenes guys pardon my cheesesteak it's a great meal and also even

max gets the benefit and i gave him cash out of my pocket so at least you did one of us was it my cash it was cash it was my cash okay it's my cool no yeah you gave it to me which then made it mine okay true and then i factor fiction fact cash out of my pocket okay who's back of the week? Brought to you by Pardon My Cheese Steak. Hank, get us going.

Speaking of cash.

Shohei.

Yeah.

He signed with the Dodgers.

10 years.

700 mil.

He.

Deferred.

Posted about it on Instagram, which I appreciate.

He said, sorry, it took so long.

The funniest post ever.

It was like.

And it was a picture of.

He just Googled.

Dodgers.

Dodgers.

And like probably screenshot it. Low res.
Downloaded. Just screenshot it.
like a picture of uh he just googled dodgers dodgers and and like probably screenshot it downloaded just screenshotted the first picture so it was in like 280p uh celebrating the the biggest contract in sports history baseball history uh yeah he doesn't want to get sued it's the biggest contract i think i saw a stat he's gonna make a million dollars every 20 innings yes it's a pretty

nice contract for him i do appreciate the fact that he apologized for making us wait so long

yeah that was nice very very polite we also had over the weekend um a very funny thing that happened

when john morrissey uh who's a writer for mlb network had reported that shohei was on a flight

to toronto from anaheim it actually turned out to be mr wonderful no it was robert herkovich

I wish. MLB network had reported that Shohei was on a flight to Toronto from Anaheim.
It actually turned out to be Mr. Wonderful.
No, it was Robert Herkovich from Shark Tank. And so everyone all day was like, Shohei's going to Toronto, Shohei's going to Toronto.
It was pretty much the best thing that happened to the Blue Jays since Joe Carter. And then John Marcy had to tweet an apology saying, Today, I posted reporting that included inaccurate information that Shohei Otani was traveling to Toronto.
I regret the mistake and apologize to baseball fans everywhere. I'm deeply sorry for letting you down.
I did not accept his apology. No.
I mean, the people of Toronto should not accept that. No.
You had one day where you thought that the next 10 years of your life were going to be awesome. And you can't take that away.
In a row that the biggest free agent signing at winter meetings has been misreported. Last year, Arson Judge.
Arson Judge, yes. Going to the Giants from John Heyman.
Yes. And.
Yeah, Shohei though, man, $700 million.

And I just want to say one thing about, you know,

I consider myself one of the teams that came second place.

A lot of teams came second place in the Shohei sweepstakes.

I was hoping the Cubs were going to find a way to sign him.

I don't think they ever got to that number.

The one thing I don't like is when everyone's like, that's a fucking overpay.

He's injured. It's like if the roles were reversed, you would be so over the moon about this.
And yes, every contract, free agent contract in MLB history is an overpay because you're paying for past accomplishments. And who cares? There's no salary cap.
It's not your money. Right.
It's a very rich person's money. It's the one sport.
And also with this contract in particular, they're not just paying for Shohei.

They're paying for all the marketing that goes along with Shohei.

Yes.

All the merch that they're going to sell with Shohei on it.

It's an investment in a person in a business sense.

Yeah, that's why I thought it made sense for the Cubs to try to get them.

But the one sport that you really can't do the overpay is baseball because there's no salary cap. What are you going to do? Luxury you gonna do luxury tax okay who cares yeah they're just upset that their owner has less money right it's like that's what you're mad about yeah he's gonna be awesome and you know what when he's like 37 years old making 70 million dollars a year it probably won't be a very good contract just like every baseball contract ever yeah so rice harper aaron judge all these guys mike trout like these contracts will not go well at the end of the deal that's not what you're paying for you're paying for the prime of their career yeah so there was a rumor that that shohei otani's dog's name was going to give away a clue as to where he was going to sign i don't think we know what his dog's name is yet no he did a whole they did a whole feature and he wouldn't reveal his dog's name.
He won't reveal it. Apparently.
What if it's Tommy? It might be Tommy. Yeah.
Sort of. Sort of.
Sort of. Might be magic.
Might be magic. Magic the dog.
There was a lot of speculation about what his dog's name was. And he said that if any team, one of the things was the teams cannot leak to the press what his dog's name is.

I love it.

So not just like the meetings he was going to where he said that he would look upon those disfavorably.

If it leaked out, anybody that leaked out his dog's name was going to be taken off the list.

Love it.

Great job, everybody, keeping the dog's name off your lips.

Yeah.

Good job by Shohei.

$700 million.

Just insane, insane amount of money.

Good for him.

$700 million is so much fucking money. It's so much money.
God, you'll never see me again. He's worth it.
And he's going to and after taxes, it's like $20 million in California. Have you heard that? Have you heard that joke? Man, imagine doing that in California.
Shout out to the journalists who are on the Shohei Otani beat from Japan not having to move move to toronto i love toronto beautiful city but i think they probably were like wait we have to go to toronto it's also i wouldn't put it past show hey to be like you know what i don't want to inconvenience all the reporters that over here from japan that have gotten to know los angeles so much i'd like it if they could stay local too and and skip bayless said that uh now lebron is is the second star in city. He takes a backseat to Shohei because Shohei moved from Anaheim to LA.
I love that if you put... I don't think he even moved.
If you put a Rorschach test in front of Skip Bayless, no matter what the inkblot is, he's like, LeBron. Yeah, LeBron.
How can I make this about LeBron? That's LeBron. Alright, your who's back, PFT.
My who's back of the week is Jaden Daniels. Yes, we did it.

We did it, guys.

Congratulations.

Jaden Daniels is your Heisman Trophy winner.

There was never really a secondary choice as far as I saw things.

We're unbiased.

We look at the tape.

We look at the stats.

He had a historical season.

Actually, no, I'm going to walk that back for a second.

I think Marvin Harrison Jr. would have been very deserving of this award,

and I want to say that because I realized people might have thought that we've been slighting marvin harrison jr in the past um in case marvin harrison senior is listening to this show we have nothing but respect correct for marvin harrison jr we love marvin harrison jr and also you don't get enough credit as a wide receiver and you're a great human being great person uh you're the best marvin harrison senior don't hold that against us but the point is jay daniels won he deserved to win and there was a lot of people complaining because they're like oh his uh his his numbers against fcs teams is what made it uh good i actually saw a tweet last night against power five teams jayden daniels leads the nation in power passer rating yards attempt, total yards per game, total yards, yards per play, QB rush yards, plays at 20-plus yards, big-time throw percentage, offensive grade. Big-time throw percentage.
That sounds important. There was one guy I responded to.
I don't know if you guys saw. He was saying, oh, he just had – if it wasn't for the Georgia State game, he would have finished fourth in Heisman voting, and this was my response this guy touchdowns against Georgia State why don't you go cry about it buddy and I farted in his face good so fuck everyone who didn't think the only argument I would understand is that if you want to do the like if you tell you tell the story of college football of this season, Michael Penix was the more impactful because Washington being undefeated and all that.
But numbers-wise, yeah, Jaden Daniels was out of this world good. Also, the jacket Penix was wearing was awesome.
Yes, it was. Oh, his whole family was, I graded them best-dressed family.
The entire suit that he was wearing, it was like velvet, velour, and he had his teammates names printed on the inside of his jacket that to me when i saw that i thought to myself like fuck he's gonna win the heisman trophy yeah and i wouldn't have been that mad about it because he seems like it's a great story and he seems like a nice guy but they made the right call yeah the right call it was also very funny when uh bo nicks went up and it was like bo nicks with his parents and his wife. I was like, oh yeah, Bo Nix is very old.
Yep. He's played a lot of college football.
Yep. That's right.
All right. My who's back of the week is the Los Angeles Lakers raising another banner.
Congratulations. The in-season tournament concluded with the Lakers beating the Pacers in Vegas.
A couple thoughts from that game. So I do think the in-season tournament was fun.
It was something different that got you excited about NBA in a time. When NBA is competing against the NFL and college football, it's a bloodbath.
So for them to try something new, I'm all for. The other thing was that it's always fun whenever he decides he wants to do it, but Anthony Davis just davis just being like oh tonight i'm gonna be the best player in the entire world he was dominant that he had he had 41 20 and 5 um and he was like they the pacers defense or offense couldn't do anything because he was just everywhere on defense it was an insane performance from anthony davis like he he is when he's at his peak he is i yeah yokich and janice but like he's up there he is he is when he wants to be like i'm gonna do everything offense and defense he's one of the best players top three players in the nba also credit to the nba for timing this exactly perfectly yeah what a great day to day to put the phone on.
Right after the Heisman. Have it after the Heisman.
Have it be the only sport that we're paying attention to at that time. Like, if this was baseball, trying to figure out an off-season or in-season tournament, they would have it at the – they'd probably have it, like, on Memorial Day Friday.
Yeah. And that would be the conclusion of the tournament.
But this was – it was a perfect time. We were all looking for something to watch.
The courts did grow on me a little bit. A little bit.
And the lighting. It was mostly the lighting.
Yeah. The lighting felt different.
And LeBron popping champagne was kind of funny. Yeah.
It's early December. Also, just a recommendation, the 30 for 30 they did on the 1997 Heisman race was awesome.
I watched that right after the Heisman. Then I watched the second half of the M.
So that really just shows you how much football just dominates we just wanted i was like oh this is just a time machine to 1997 college football yeah i could watch the second half of the in-season tournament later oh i'll watch a recap of like the 2007 college football season anytime it's on yeah whenever the algorithm just pops it up i surrender okay you've got my attention also shout out army navy maybe the most thrilling over that's ever been hit in the history of gambling i'll remember that for the rest of my life it was safety to hit over 27 and a half i had army and so that was big it was i mean just incredible like those are those are the ones that you remember on your deathbed people are like oh you're not gonna remember these games no i will remember the army navy over in 2023 with a safety out of the back of the end zone. I was screaming for it as soon as they got the ball.
It was a correct play. Yeah, it was a correct play.
You got to go for the safety. Take this.
The minute Navy got stopped, my brain immediately flipped over. I was like, wait, there's three seconds? They have to take a safety.
They have to take a safety. So, yeah, that was awesome.
It was a good Saturday. That and going right into Jaden Daniels.
All right, Jake, finish this off. My Who's Back of the Week is pooping in closets at stadiums.
Yes. Because a Bears fan did just that.
Today at Soldier Field. Yeah.
When you got to go, you got to go. Real men of genius.
Yeah. Speaking of, I got to go.
Oh, okay. Go poop? Shout out dinner.
All right. What number do you want, Chase? 18.

Good show, boys.

Max, any last words about

you? You really don't like the Cowboys, Max.

I don't like Hank.

I like this.

Everything we just went through

in the beginning, it's rare

that we're not in the

ire of Max because usually we're the

ones pushing the troll, but Hank went full Cowboys. You can never take away what we went through last week, Max.
Where'd you go last week? Oh, the 24 hours. Well, no, I mean, it was 23 hours, and also you slept while Max stayed up.
It was fun times. It was fun.
I had a blast. I love Max.
How late did you guys sleep in on Friday? Oh, yeah. I had to do the fucking dozen first thing in the morning.
That's mean by Jeff. Yeah, my brain was...
Not that it's ever firing, but it was blank. Then I went back to sleep.
So then I woke up at like 1 or 2. When did you sleep till, Max? I slept till, like, 11, and then I, like,

made breakfast, and then

fell back asleep at, like, noon until

4.45. I love that.
I love it.

It must have felt so good.

It was. Waking up? No, it's

still a little off.

Yeah. And I've also, my sleep schedule

is fucked. I slept till noon both

the past two days.

So tomorrow could be an issue. I'm so jealous of that.
What about you, Memes? Slept till 10. Woke up.
Did some work stuff. Went right back to bed.
Then woke up at like 3. Did some more work stuff.
Then went back to bed. Till the next day.
What time did you go back to bed on Friday? So it was around like 5. And I just slept through.
That's amazing. You time traveled.
I've been having bad deja vu too. Alright, we got Stav on Wednesday.
Stav in the studio. Alright, numbers.
40. 71.
20. What'd you say? 3.
99. No, he already picked 18.
Oh, Jake took it? Yeah, he took it. Damn it.
Alright. 20.
What'd you say? 3.

99. No, he already picked 18.

Oh, Jake took it?

Yeah, he took it.

Damn it.

All right, 8.

20.

What was that?

Who's laughing?

Pug says pug after every line.

99 pug.

Shane, what are you?

10. Ten.

Eighty-one.

No, wait.

Yeah, that's... Wait, is that 18?

No.

That's 81.

Are you sure?

That's 81.

Yeah.

How do we know?

That is 81.

Yep.

Yeah, because the bottom line. you should tell Jake about it.

Has he already gotten anything?

He did, yeah.

It sucked.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. Days are my days to find shine.
I'm coming to the lover. I'm coming to the lover.
Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone Get out your dreams Things that you say You get to the light Display my love All the things I've got to remember You're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway I'll be coming for you anyway I'll be coming for you anyway. I'll be coming for you anyway.
I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone.

Get out of here. Thank you.