Charissa Thompson, 4X World Series Champ Bruce Bochy, CFB And The Bills Are In Trouble

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have a lot to get to. We have a great interview with Crissa Thompson, our friend Carissa, in studio.

Speaker 1 The manager of the World Series Texas Rangers, Bruce Boce, on the show as well. We are going to talk Monday night football.
The Bills are in trouble.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk some college football, Jaden Daniels for Heisman. We have Hank's presentation about the Lighthouse, which he's been complaining about,

Speaker 1 crying about

Speaker 1 being a baby about.

Speaker 2 False, false, false false. And then we have Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 1 Great show for everyone.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 4 It's Pardon Mike T,

Speaker 1 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 Football guy for Dean of AWS.

Speaker 1 take

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Speaker 1 fart and my take

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Speaker 1 welcome to part of my take today is wednesday november 15th and the buffalo bills stink they might be dead they might they might be dead let's talk window you got to talk window

Speaker 1 Ready?

Speaker 2 What's the window? It's closed. You think it's officially closed?

Speaker 2 I think they're about to jump out of the window.

Speaker 1 That was a very bad Monday night football game. Hank, why are you taking a picture of me? He's doing a TikTok.
He's doing a TikTok. I didn't mean to stop.

Speaker 2 Hank, TikTok.

Speaker 1 I had the over-under.

Speaker 2 I had the over-under on when we were going to get pissed off at Hank during this show at being five and a half minutes into it. Smash the under on that one.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Hank is probably one of those. He's a plant.
He's a comment section plant because he was trying to derail us because we were actually going to bash the bills.

Speaker 1 He's one of the guys who's like, you guys never say anything bad about the bills. You guys are pussies.
You're frauds. He was trying to get us off our game.

Speaker 2 I'm going to do, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start my own TikTok.
It's going to be one second with Henry Lockwood for the entire year. One second a day.
I like it. 365.

Speaker 2 Yeah, 365 days of Grumpy Hank.

Speaker 1 Grumpy Hank.

Speaker 1 Okay, the Bills are bad. They're in trouble.
Sean McDermott, bad.

Speaker 1 Ken Dorsey, fired, which is, we know it. It's shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Speaker 1 When you start firing offensive coordinators, defensive coordinators in the middle of the season, it usually is not a great sign.

Speaker 2 I have a question for you, big coach with Ken Dorsey. Yeah.
Did Ken Dorsey put 12 guys on the field at the end of the game last night?

Speaker 1 Ken Dorsey also didn't throw the interceptions that Josh Allen has been throwing more of. He has been bad.

Speaker 2 I think they need to get an offensive coordinator installed that will tell Josh Allen harder not to turn the ball over.

Speaker 1 It's the,

Speaker 1 we know Josh is a gunslinger. Uh, I still think he's a very good quarterback.

Speaker 1 This season has not been good because if you look at his numbers, you can live when Josh Allen is in the high 30s and like the 10 to 15 interception range.

Speaker 1 Right now, through 10 weeks, he's at 19 touchdowns, 11 interceptions. The interception on first down at the end of the half when he basically gave them three points, that was really, really bad.

Speaker 1 And I like you can't win football games

Speaker 1 when you're careless with the football like josh allen's been he's been bad something is wrong uh maybe it is the offensive coordinator i think it also just needs josh needs to have like a come to jesus moment of like hey i can't be a superhero in on every single play i have to take care of the football better because you're putting your defense in a bad spot you're putting your team in a bad spot when you throw those type of interceptions i thought the defense didn't play poorly at all last night no they played well they played pretty well broncos had the ball and like at the 50 yard line every every every drive yeah the broncos lived in between the 30-yard lines for this entire game.

Speaker 2 So the defense in Buffalo is not the issue.

Speaker 2 Although it is kind of weird that they put 12 guys on the field for that field goal at the very end.

Speaker 2 McDermott also had, you remember, he had 12 guys, maybe even 13 guys on the field at the end of that Vikings game. He did that on purpose.

Speaker 2 Yeah, did that on purpose? Like, was this on purpose and hoping that they didn't call it because it was such a short field goal?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was a comical ending of the game because it was like Sean Payton was also trying to lose the game by using his timeouts and then doing the rush on the field fire drill.

Speaker 1 But the biggest takeaway from this game, and we'll talk about the Broncos in a second, because Russell Wilson actually does look good,

Speaker 1 is the Bills are broken. And they, right now,

Speaker 1 I would say almost, I don't think they're going to be in the playoffs.

Speaker 2 I don't think they are either.

Speaker 1 They have a really tough schedule. They're 5-5 now, and it feels like everything,

Speaker 1 whatever it was, it was, you can point back to the 13 seconds, you could point back to DeMar Hamlin, the Bengals game last year in the playoffs, but something is very broken, and it feels like there's blame to go around a lot of places.

Speaker 1 Josh being, he's a quarterback.

Speaker 1 He gets the blame when they don't win, and he gets the blame when he throws bad interceptions. And I think Sean McDermott, who has,

Speaker 1 he has had some bad moments this year, the 13 guys on the field,

Speaker 1 the weird travel to London where the Bills clearly were sleepwalking the first half. Also, Sean McDermott, I know this is old school coaching.
James Cook fumbles on the first play of the game.

Speaker 1 Doghouse. James Cook, I think it was his second fumble in his career.

Speaker 1 Now, he did have some other weird moments because I think it was, that was Josh's fault on the handoff, but then he also fumbled and picked it up, which was the coolest play ever later in the game.

Speaker 1 Why would you bench your guy who is, they came out in the end of the second quarter and they had a touchdown drive where everything looked great, and it all started because James Cook was running the ball ball and being explosive, and everything fed off that.

Speaker 1 You basically sat one of your key parts of your team because he fumbled the ball in the first play. It makes no sense.

Speaker 2 It makes no sense.

Speaker 2 Coaches have doghouses for running backs. They don't have doghouses for quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Or kickers.

Speaker 1 No, imagine if you bench your kicker in-game. Yeah, after he missed it.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying. Or if you bench your quarterback because he threw an interception early in the game.
It's only running backs get put into doghouses. Like, I can't trust this guy.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe James Cook has like had a significant enough body of evidence to prove that maybe he can hang on to the football for a while.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 2 It was like a recurring thing where you fumble. And granted, running backs don't, it's not like you're running the ball as often as you're passing in most offenses.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So if you throw one interception every like 35 passes, not as big a deal as if you fumble once every like 12 carries. So I understand that.
But James Cook is a good player.

Speaker 2 It didn't really make a lot of sense that they were like, we're just going to do Latavius Murray.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's build our offense in 2023 around Latavius murray he's 33 or how in running back years he's like 35 but yeah um it was he made some questionable decisions i thought that the bills um the bills offense would not be this discouraging if they didn't turn the ball over all the time like it looks like they've got guys in space sometimes um josh allen you could say it's a bad year you could also point at either the madden curse or what i think is more likely the room 40 curse ever since josh allen um disgracefully dees nutsed us on these very airwaves in front of children, he hasn't been the same quarterback.

Speaker 2 Maybe he needs to apologize for that. I'm not sure.
But Josh, I like Josh as a person. I want him to do well.
I root for Josh every time he plays. He's electric to watch when he's playing well.

Speaker 2 He has not played well this year.

Speaker 1 No, he's not played well. And he has to figure out the turnovers because it feels like it's gotten progressively worse in the last few years.
I think he has 71 interceptions since 2018. And

Speaker 1 I also think there's a

Speaker 1 arm strength is a great asset to have, but it also can be a negative when you think you can make every throw all the time.

Speaker 1 I've watched it before with, you know, Cutler, Favre had a little of this where it's like,

Speaker 1 my arm is so strong that I don't care what the coverage is. And figuring out how to

Speaker 1 maybe take a little off and also say, I don't have to make every throw. I don't, not every throw has to be, oh, these guys are covered, but my arm is so strong I can get it in there.

Speaker 1 That decision-making has to fix because otherwise, the Bills are. I mean, again, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs this year, but we're talking long-term now.

Speaker 1 Like, this is something that he's got to start fixing right now so that he can build on it going into next year.

Speaker 1 The other thing is, Ken Dorsey, I do, I have no problem with Ken Dorsey being fired in the fact that some of the play calling is absolutely like tragic. The fourth and one shotgun, why?

Speaker 1 Any team that's in fourth and one and goes shotgun should, the OC should be fired right away. Yeah, Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to get one yard, and you're like, now let's get seven yards. It's crazy.
It's crazy. I hate that.

Speaker 2 And it seems like the running backs, they're on their heels. The quarterbacks are on their heels.
They don't get a great running start.

Speaker 2 Just do manned football. Man, football.
So, whatever happened to eye formation, whatever happened to pro set, whatever happened to offset eye, whatever happened to

Speaker 2 whatever happened to good old-fashioned fullback, big cat, whatever happened to two yards in a cloud of dust. What about John Kuhn?

Speaker 2 If you need two yards, he'll get you three. If you need five yards, he'll get you three.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it feels like they overthink all of these things. We also now have Stefan Diggs.
His brother said, got to get 14 out of there.

Speaker 1 Feels like, I mean, we've been on Diva Watch with Stefan, but it is feeling like it's hit a critical point. Everything feels wrong in Buffalo.

Speaker 1 I feel bad for the people of Buffalo, but I think that everything we're saying, they know and they have known for

Speaker 1 the majority of this season that everything is broken and you have to figure out a way to fix it because you're paid Josh a lot of money, and

Speaker 1 it starts with him and the interceptions.

Speaker 2 I feel like Josh misses Daybull. I think they had something really good together.
I like Joe Brady, though. Joe Brady was half of

Speaker 2 the offensive mind behind Joe Burrow when he was at LSU.

Speaker 1 He wasn't great in Carolina.

Speaker 2 He wasn't, but again, he was in Carolina.

Speaker 1 Now he's got a new chance.

Speaker 2 He's got a new chance. He's got a better quarterback.

Speaker 2 I'm excited to see what they do. But yeah, I don't think that the Bills are going to make the playoffs.
I don't think it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 And their schedule is a gauntlet now. So that was supposed to be one of their easy wins, especially at home.
And they almost won. That's the thing that's frustrating with the Bills.

Speaker 1 As bad as they have looked, they almost won that game last night. You know what I mean? Like, they go up with a minute left.

Speaker 1 That's just kind of how they've been living, where even in their bad games, it's like, oh, they could win this game. They play the Jets who have their number at Eagles, at Chiefs, Cowboys at home.

Speaker 2 How many of those are at night? That's the big question because this year, Josh Allen has

Speaker 2 seven touchdowns. Well, no, I guess he has, what, eight touchdowns now and nine interceptions?

Speaker 1 Actually, none of those, none of those four I listed are at night. The Chargers

Speaker 1 the following week is a night game.

Speaker 2 That's very good because Josh Allen this year has turned into Kirk Cousins in primetime.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what are you going to say? That makes no sense. What, that those aren't night games? One of those games would be a primetime game.

Speaker 2 You think it'll be flex?

Speaker 1 It should be.

Speaker 2 Which one? Because in Vegas, Tarico will be like, let's go.

Speaker 5 Chiefs, Dolphins, or Cowboys?

Speaker 1 Not Dolphins. Jets, Eagles, Chiefs, Cowboys.

Speaker 5 Eagles, Chiefs, or Cowboys. Yeah.
Versus the Chargers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chargers.

Speaker 2 Well, the network's got to block certain games. So those are going to be America's game of the week with Nance and Romo for some of them because they're all 4 p.m.
stars.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Josh has not been good in primetime this year. Also, the Chargers game is the Peacock exclusive game.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Oh, the Cock exclusive Saturday night. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Other side of this game.
The Broncos.

Speaker 1 I don't know how it happened, but Russell Wilson looks better.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to say all the way back, but he is playing winning football and making plays with his feet and making nice passes and not making the mistakes.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of rooting for him because we, ourselves included, all of the media, everyone has spent like a year and a half shitting on him.

Speaker 1 And what do we love to do as media and as Americans is we love to tear someone down and then be like, you know what? We're rooting for you to come back. Yeah, but it's what we're doing.

Speaker 2 It's so fun to shit on Russell Wilson. I know.
Plus, it's so fun and I like doing it. But yeah, he looked good last night and for the last couple weeks he looked good.

Speaker 2 He beat Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen back to back.

Speaker 1 Pretty hard to do.

Speaker 2 And now, let's see, this would be a two-game winning streak for the Broncos when they're up at halftime.

Speaker 2 Before these last two games, the Broncos were 0-10 in their last 10 games where they had a halftime lead.

Speaker 1 No, three games. Three games in a row.
It's three games in a row. It's three games in a row, they've done it.

Speaker 2 So it was against the Chiefs and then who else? The Packers. The Packers, they had a halftime lead.
Three games in a row after going 0-10 with leads at halftime. It does feel like

Speaker 2 they might have found something, turned something around.

Speaker 2 Russell, to your point, like when he's making plays with his feet, he's a completely different player. I think for the last

Speaker 2 four or five years, Russell got into the mindset of, oh, I'm too valuable to this team. I don't need to use my feet as much.
I don't want to get hurt.

Speaker 2 I don't want to take hits, which, yeah, there's a time and a place for that to be a little bit more conservative and to get rid of the ball and to not want to run and avoid some of the linebackers taking clean shots at you.

Speaker 2 But it also makes you a worse quarterback when you are good with your feet and you don't use them at all. Yeah.
And so he was doing that. He was taking hits downfield.
He was scrambling.

Speaker 2 He was avoiding linebackers. He looked good.
Russell Wilson actually looked good last night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's looked good for the majority of this season. It's funny because I feel like Sean Payton nagged him into being good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like all the talk has been Sean Payton has already moved on from Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 He didn't pick Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 This is going to be, they're going to draft the future of the franchise sean payton's going to be here long after russell wilson is gone uh and now i feel like that having that in your relationship where sean payton's like i don't really care about you like you stink at football russell was like no i don't i'm still good he uh he fixed him by neutering him yeah which is just by ignoring dogs yeah but he he like took away his balls and said i i'm the big sack in town i could care less whether you're here or you're not and then you have to prove to me that you're going to be the quarterback and and and also You're not allowed to bring your own trainer into the locker room.

Speaker 1 Yes, and you're not allowed to have an office that no one else can go into.

Speaker 2 Hank, do you have an office? No.

Speaker 1 The Kinsey has one here.

Speaker 1 The last thing I had about the Broncos, Patrick Sertan is awesome. He completely shut down Stephon Diggs when he was up against him.

Speaker 1 Credit to the Broncos because I know there was going to be a fire sale. I'm a big believer if you have really good players, you should try to keep them.

Speaker 1 And he's a really good player, and he's young, and try to keep them. And also, Mims is electric as a a punt return.

Speaker 1 That was a part of the field position, is he had a couple that flipped the field for the Broncos.

Speaker 2 That was pretty much it. Yeah,

Speaker 2 he had some nice returns. And we would be talking about this game completely differently if they had missed that first field goal and it had stood.
Like,

Speaker 2 we still would be saying that.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I would say that.

Speaker 2 We still would be saying that there's bad things about the Bills.

Speaker 2 Would we give Russell Wilson and the Broncos as much credit if that kick goes in? Probably not as much, but it's just like

Speaker 2 it's so funny how one small outcome like that can determine being optimistic about the Broncos' future.

Speaker 2 Because I think if you're a Broncos fan, you watch this game, and this is a game that you lose every single time for the last two years, and you somehow figure out a way to win it, you're feeling good.

Speaker 2 You're feeling really good about yourself this morning. But things, it was a very, very fine line between winning and losing.

Speaker 2 Now, granted, the Bills are definitely broken, even if they had lost that game. Yes.
Or even if they had won that game. They're definitely broken.

Speaker 1 Yes. No, they're completely broken.

Speaker 1 It's a debacle right now for Buffalo.

Speaker 1 And again, they have the gauntlet coming up. I do think that the Broncos, yeah, I mean, look, I guess they could find a way back into the playoff picture.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say they're going to make the playoffs. They're in the hunt.

Speaker 1 They've at least found a way forward if Russell Wilson's going to be on the roster next year. I know his contract, there's weird shit where they have to cut him at a certain point.

Speaker 1 But he's playing to a level where it's like maybe we can figure out a way to use our assets, our picks, for something else besides a quarterback.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to defer to Florio on the contract stuff. He's always like right on top of that.
That's the one thing that Mike Florio is great at.

Speaker 2 He can like identify a loophole on when you can get rid of a quarterback. Remember, he had Derek Carr before anybody else did? So Florio, do some work on that.

Speaker 2 When could the Broncos potentially move on from Russell Wilson?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do some college football talk.

Speaker 1 We got a lot of college football to get to. Is there anything else in the NFL that we missed?

Speaker 2 I was going to say, weirdly enough, Sunday night football this week is between the two hottest teams in the league, Broncos, Vikings.

Speaker 1 Who would have thought?

Speaker 2 A few weeks ago, I would have called Flex of the Year on that.

Speaker 6 Now it's actually going to be a good game.

Speaker 1 Flex of the year. What is your flex of the year?

Speaker 2 I'm still looking into it.

Speaker 1 Do you get more excited about the schedule than the actual games?

Speaker 2 I think so. Yeah.
Just like way ahead.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. Yeah, I do.
I think that actually is the truth, where you're like, look at this schedule.

Speaker 1 It's like you're like a little kid who, like, you give them a piece of candy and they don't want to eat it because they like to just have the piece of candy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I don't want to watch the football. I just want to know that the football is.

Speaker 2 Well, I like watching it too, but

Speaker 1 the schedule is way, yeah.

Speaker 2 Jay, can you predict what the highest rated game this year will be from now until the end of the season? Starting now? Yeah, starting now. I can look and see.
I care about ratings.

Speaker 2 That's how I judge whether or not a game is good or not.

Speaker 1 Okay.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 college football. The story of the season.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 how happy do you think Deion is that the Jim Harbaugh thing happened? Very happy.

Speaker 1 Because his September and then the backlash to losing in October and November has been completely erased by the fact that Jim Harbaugh has sucked up every headline.

Speaker 1 Jim Harbaugh suspended for three games by the Big Ten

Speaker 1 hours before,

Speaker 1 well, no, hours before.

Speaker 1 I think they actually were already on the plane to Happy Valley so it was Friday it was Friday he found out by social via social media so did Ward Manuel who is the AD for Michigan Jim Harbaugh suspended didn't coach the game on Saturday against Penn State

Speaker 1 and Jim Harbaugh went in front of the media yesterday and gave

Speaker 1 the most Jim Harbaugh quotes of all time. So he first started by saying Michigan is America's team.
He said it's it's got to be America's team.

Speaker 1 America loves a team that beats the odds, beats the adversity, overcomes what the naysayers and the critics, the so-called experts think. Well,

Speaker 2 they do rely on a network of clandestine surveillance to accomplish everything. I can see why that would align with the USA.

Speaker 1 The adversity is my favorite part of this because it feels like the adversity was created by Michigan.

Speaker 2 Cut their own leg off. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Look at me just gutting this out on one leg.

Speaker 1 Cut your own leg and be like, I can barely walk. This is crazy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I, first of all, was shocked to see Jim Harbaugh in front of the media at all because I thought that he died. Yes.
I thought he was dead because

Speaker 2 after the game, when Sherrod Brown gave his speech.

Speaker 1 I fucking love you, man. I fucking love you, man.
This is for you, Jim. This is for you, coach.
I said it was basically the speech that everyone,

Speaker 1 when they're on a bachelor party and they see their college friends or old friends that they haven't seen in a very long time, like 12 beers deep sitting around and like, I fucking fucking love you, man.

Speaker 1 I fucking love you so much. We should get a house together.

Speaker 1 And that was what he did after that game.

Speaker 2 I honestly thought he was dead. It looked like Riggs leaving Pinehurst.

Speaker 2 It was surreal. It was one of those moments where it's like, this is definitely not a cult.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Definitely not a cult.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 I love Harbaugh because he does give quotes like this and he puts himself in the most ridiculous scenarios. And he's the ultimate football guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the other quote, the biggest one, was he had a raspy voice and he said, I'm the iron wall that

Speaker 1 viruses bash against and shatter.

Speaker 1 Something's going on there, but I'll get it worked out, work it out of my system, do some more push-ups, eat an apple.

Speaker 1 I'm an iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. Jim Harbaugh is Dwight Schroott.

Speaker 2 I am a vaccine.

Speaker 1 He is incredible. Like the virus, show me a virus.
I will shatter it with my iron wall. I'm going to work out.

Speaker 2 I'm going to do so many push-ups that the virus is not going to be able to keep up. And I'm going to make, you know what?

Speaker 2 Jim Harbaugh actually thinks that he can make a virus tap Yeah, absolutely submits them absolutely I actually thought that the most surprising quote of the press conference was when he was talking about the chickens because we all know that Harbaugh in the past has says that he doesn't eat chicken because chicken is a nervous little bird that gives off nervous energy in fact I was I was actually talking to a Michigan player yesterday and he said the very first day that Harbaugh got to school there he he was inspecting the buffet line in there like in the cafeteria for the team and he walked up to the chicken because there were chicken cutlets.

Speaker 2 He just stared at it and started scratching his head. And he pulled the nutritionist over and said, Hey, what's the deal with the chicken here?

Speaker 2 They're like, Well, it's got a lot of protein, it's lean, it's it's good for players after workouts. And Harbaugh was like, I want you to do a study for me.

Speaker 2 I want you to investigate because it's a nervous bird. I want you to look to see if there's been any rise in mental illness in the United States and the consumption of chicken.

Speaker 2 I want to see if there's a correlation between the two. So, he's been anti-chicken for a long time, eating steak, drinking milk, that whole thing.

Speaker 2 And then he's done a complete 180 in a stunning turn of events. Harbaugh actually owns chickens now, and he praised them for being low-maintenance, high production.
And he said,

Speaker 2 yeah, so he's now like a believer in chickens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said they lay an egg every 26, 27 hours. They need water.
They need food. I play with them too.
I let them out in the yard, run around. They're happy to see me.

Speaker 1 He basically was like, oh, these chickens produce something.

Speaker 2 I can win with this. Roosters are the first ones in the the facility every single morning.

Speaker 2 They all read the press clippings. They take a shit on them.
Chickens, he said, there was a time I said chicken was a nervous bird. I was dead wrong.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 If I can change and you can change, then we all can do it. What a beautiful moment.

Speaker 1 Listen, I know there's a lot of college football fans that hate Michigan at this moment. I get it.
I think Michigan clearly did something wrong. I think they should be...

Speaker 1 you know, suspended or whatever, whatever happens in the future, I'm down with. I love Jim Harbaugh.
I will always love Jim Harbaugh. I will always ride with Jim Harbaugh.
He is the funniest

Speaker 1 guy basically ever in college coaching, and he's a great coach. I love him.
And I do think there's a difference.

Speaker 1 So I thought the Big Ten was wrong for what they did because I don't know how you do an investigation that quickly and then be like, all right, three games, here we go.

Speaker 1 If you think that Michigan did something wrong,

Speaker 1 I'm going to most likely agree with you because it seems like there's a lot of smoking guns everywhere. Due process still does matter.

Speaker 1 And just like throwing something at the wall and being like, hopefully everyone will be fine with three games, which doesn't even really mean anything because he can coach during the week.

Speaker 1 It was such a half-measure, half-assed thing by the Big Ten that it leaves me like no, no other conclusion than the Big Ten has no idea what they're doing and they're just trying to save face.

Speaker 2 The funny thing is, if you're a fan of Ohio State or another Big Ten school, I completely agree with being so mad at Michigan. Yes.
And you want Michigan like kicked out of college football.

Speaker 2 You want the death penalty for Michigan. I would, too, if I went to one of those schools.

Speaker 2 But if you're detached from it and you can look at it from just an objectively ridiculous point of view, it's a very funny scandal that's happening.

Speaker 2 And Jim Harbaugh is the perfect person to be having to address this and to deal with the adversity that he inflicted upon himself. This is good for college football because it's hilarious.

Speaker 2 It's so funny. From my point of view, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened.

Speaker 2 But again, if you're an Ohio State fan, you should want Jim Harbaugh put on the nearest train and then taken directly to Chicago to go coach the Bears. Yes.

Speaker 2 And you should want that too, big cat. Please.
But yeah, this is

Speaker 2 funny, but I would also caution, like, if you're a fan of a serious college football team, if you love Ohio State, if you love Alabama, Georgia, any powerhouse school, USC, you name it, Texas.

Speaker 2 You should be very worried that due process is not existing because I got news for you. You're cheating your dick off too.

Speaker 2 You might not be doing it as egregiously as as what Michigan is doing, and you're probably not going into like military-grade sophistication with your surveillance of other teams.

Speaker 2 But every single school, if they're good, is cheating big time, and you don't want this to be the precedent for when you get caught.

Speaker 2 Because if you're a Michigan fan, and this happens across college football, it happens across all college sports, a little bit in pros, but mostly at the college ranks.

Speaker 2 We saw it last year with Alabama and their basketball team. If your team is the one that's being investigated,

Speaker 2 you turn into a legal scholar so fast.

Speaker 1 You do so much reading.

Speaker 2 You learn all the laws about

Speaker 2 transferral of handgun possession.

Speaker 2 You learn everything that you have to know about, like, okay, here's the NCAA bylaws that they're going to use to persecute us with, and here's how this does not meet X, Y, and Z criteria.

Speaker 2 And then everybody else in the country learns the top line. It's like, you're a bunch of cheating fucks.
You should be suspended immediately.

Speaker 1 And then you just reply in Twitter's all day being like, actually, this is exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 The only thing I'll push back on you you for is Alabama and Georgia should not be worried because the one thing that you should always give credit to the SEC is they do things correctly and the fact that they never punish or hurt their best teams.

Speaker 2 They're experts at looking the other way.

Speaker 1 They do the, like, Greg Senke would never do this. He would never do this.

Speaker 1 A team that is about, is on the precipice of going to the college football playoff that is like the talk of the nation, he would never be like, hey, let's cut our own legs here and try to hurt our own conference.

Speaker 1 That's the difference in the SEC and Big Ten.

Speaker 1 We got got Tony Petiti, a fucking moron, like, dude, just figure out the fact that maybe we could win a national title for the first time in whatever it's been, like eight, nine years, and get the fuck out of the way and just say the NCLA has to deal with it.

Speaker 1 That's what the SEC does. And they win national titles.

Speaker 2 Tony Petiti needs to pretend that he's the cop from

Speaker 2 the town when the nuns pull up after the bank robbery. Just look the other way.
Yeah. I didn't see nothing.

Speaker 1 Just be like, look, Michigan, it's not fair. Life is not fair.

Speaker 1 Here's a little lesson for everyone out there. Life is not fair.
If you're Tony Petiti, this is different.

Speaker 1 If it was Rutgers, if it was Purdue, if it was Wisconsin, yes, that's different than Michigan.

Speaker 1 Life is not fair. It sucks that I have to admit this, but Michigan and Ohio State are different than the rest of the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 And you need to treat them like they are different than the rest of the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Because if the goal is to get as many bowl games and more money for college football playoffs and these big TV deals, you have to prop up your big-time

Speaker 1 breadwinners when it comes to college football.

Speaker 2 I think I misspoke on his name. I think it's Sharon Brown or Sharon Moore.
I said Brown earlier. That's fine.
Sharon Moore is the interim coach of Michigan.

Speaker 1 He probably is happy he did that because he's like,

Speaker 1 listen, that was an emotional thing. He definitely the next day was like, whoops.
Yeah. I went a little too hard.

Speaker 2 Maybe not, though, because maybe I bet you they had the longest hug ever when he went back to the hotel. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Harbaugh said it. He's like, I'd die for that guy.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 They both die for each other, which is beautiful. But Sharon Moore, he's coaching on Saturdays.
Harbaugh still gets to coach the team during the week.

Speaker 1 Well, Harbaugh's also coaching the team on Saturdays because going back to the game, 28 runs in the second half, no passes. I know there was one pass that was a PI.
That was Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 Like JJ McCarthy, what do you finish? Seven for eight?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and it's shocking because he's a good quarterback, too. Yeah.
And they were just like, you know what? Fuck it.

Speaker 2 We're going to run the ball down Penn State's throat the entire time and yeah it did feel like harbaugh like he was sending a met like a smoke signal to harbaugh like this is for you coach i got your back and uh i don't know what the rules are how close harbaugh is allowed to be to the stadium i know he can't be on the sidelines he said he was five inches away from the tv when sharon moore was giving that speech he was probably speaking like during the game he probably was trying to kiss the tv if i was michigan's ad here's what i would do during the games i would give harbaugh a headset and i would say okay it's a one-way headset they can hear everything that you say but they can't talk back to you.

Speaker 2 Um, and just put it on him and have Harbaugh, he would totally believe that he's still coaching the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he even said when he was like, People were like, How are you dealing with all this stuff? He's like, I just dive into work, which is football. Yeah, you just want to coach football.

Speaker 1 Max was at the game, he said it was the worst sporting event he's ever been to. I mean, did you watch it? It was horrible.
Yeah, the James Franklin is,

Speaker 1 I would assume all Penn State fans are now feeling like he has to go. I know he wins,

Speaker 1 he's He's won 11 games, I think, four or five times, but it just never, he's never going to win the big one.

Speaker 6 He's not going anywhere. Like the way,

Speaker 6 from what I've been told by other Penn State people that know more about me is that the way his contract's set up is that there's no way that you can get rid of him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but we talked about this a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 2 If it was still going to be a four-team playoff for the next like 10, 20 years, then you're looking at this and you're like, yeah, Franklin, he's not going to get us to that next level.

Speaker 2 He's got to go. You guys will be in the playoff.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but then it's just going to be the same thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 6 You'll get to the 12-team playoff, and then you'll just see what happens against Ohio State and Michigan. They're the Jets.
I was saying this in memes.

Speaker 1 Penn State. They're not the Jets.
Yes, they are. No, they aren't.
They win 11 games. Yeah, but

Speaker 6 I'm saying this year, like, the defense is really, really good.

Speaker 6 And you have a quarterback who's hyped up and

Speaker 6 thought that he was going to be the difference maker in the program. And then the quarterback just isn't good enough, and the offense is not good enough.

Speaker 2 Say what you want about the Jets, but at least they were smart enough not to play Christian Hackenberg.

Speaker 5 That's different.

Speaker 1 Well, no, it's the same Penn State played him, but college NFL.

Speaker 1 Penn State is a classic case, and we're going to talk about Jimbo in a second, of a program having to come to grips with what they might be versus

Speaker 1 what the fans expect. Because if you asked 90% of college football fans, would you like 11 11 wins a year and to be in like a New Year's Day bowl? They'd be like, fuck yes, I would.

Speaker 1 Penn State is one of those college programs that they have a history of national titles. They have a history of great success.

Speaker 1 And the bar is so high that James Franklin, as he can win 11 games all he wants. If he can't beat Michigan and Ohio State, that's not enough.

Speaker 6 But they still recruit like those guys. I know.
So that's the difference is that they bring in the guys that should get you to that next step. But Franklin just can't coach that big game.

Speaker 6 He plays so soft. He coaches so soft.

Speaker 1 Every single

Speaker 6 brains.

Speaker 6 It is runs up the middle, runs up the middle,

Speaker 1 hope for a slant, and then punt on fourth and one.

Speaker 1 Just punt so many times. He punted so many times.
And like,

Speaker 6 at the end of the day, I was like, all right, this is Penn State football. I'm not going to.

Speaker 6 I don't get upset about Penn State football like I do other sports, but it's like, it's still frustrating to see like the same thing over and over again.

Speaker 2 What are their rankings in terms of recruiting?

Speaker 2 Are they up there?

Speaker 1 Ohio State, but

Speaker 2 I feel like they're outside.

Speaker 2 If I were to just throw a dart and say what I think Penn State's recruiting is like, I would say that they're probably seventh through 10th somewhere nationally.

Speaker 1 The way the rankings have gone in the last few years is essentially there's Ohio State, there's Georgia, and there's Alabama. And then those three teams have dudes that are on a different level.

Speaker 1 And then the Michigans, the LSUs, the Florida States, the Penn States, they're right there, but there's still that gap between like, oh my God, the three teams.

Speaker 6 But that tier two is still competing for playoff spots.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sometimes.

Speaker 6 Like Penn State is never competing for that playoff spot.

Speaker 1 One time. Well, that's because

Speaker 1 they play against Ohio State. They had the possibility.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but so, but right now.

Speaker 1 Here's the difference. Right now, if you look at 2024, and I don't know, you know, obviously signing day and all this stuff, everything can change.
Georgia and Ohio State, Georgia has four five stars.

Speaker 1 Ohio State has five. Penn State has zero.
Like, that's the difference.

Speaker 1 It's like, you can get a lot of four stars, but can you get the five or six or seven five stars every single recruiting class that those become the true difference makers when you play on Saturday?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so if you have a team of

Speaker 2 four stars, you can beat the shit out of bad teams because you can run the ball, you can run the ball, you can run the ball, and then you can rely on like a decent passing game.

Speaker 2 If you have five stars at running back or at wide receiver, then that's when you can compete with that next level. And Penn State doesn't have that.

Speaker 6 But there's a tier two. Like, there's tier one that is in the college football every year.
You know what I mean? Like, no matter what, they're in it every year.

Speaker 6 There's a tier two that, like, every couple of years,

Speaker 6 they're going to make it into the four seed, probably get smoked, but they're like playing

Speaker 6 for a college football playoff every so years. Penn State is in that third tier when they should be in that second tier.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and look, it also comes down to what you do with your five stars because

Speaker 1 that's the biggest thing is like you have to like, look, I'm looking right now at a random year, 2021, right? 2021, Penn State had zero five stars. Alabama had seven.
Ohio State had seven.

Speaker 1 Georgia had four. That's the difference.

Speaker 1 If those elite guys, those are the top three in terms of five-star recruits in 2021, having those elite guys and then doing something with them, like actually making them great.

Speaker 2 What I'm hearing, Max, is that you need to to spend more time tweeting at high school players that are being recruited by Penn State, being like, hey, I can't put

Speaker 6 that much passion into Penn State football.

Speaker 1 The other thing is,

Speaker 1 and Clemson was obviously in that tier. They've taken a step back, but they were in that, like, they got the five, six, five stars.

Speaker 2 I feel like Texas is getting up there, too.

Speaker 1 Well, the funny thing is, because we're going to talk about Jimbo, is looking at that 2022 class when he had eight five stars and it was the greatest college football recruiting class of all time.

Speaker 1 And Jimbo Fisher has now been fired.

Speaker 1 His buyout is comical. He's owed $19 million in the next 60 days, another $7 million in the next 120 days, and then $7 million every year from 2025 to 2031.

Speaker 2 It's so good. So he gets almost 27 million in the next 90 days of his life.
And then it's not offset. That's the crazy thing.
A lot of times coaches' salaries, they get offset.

Speaker 2 If you get a new job, then the money that you make at the new job counts towards what you're getting paid in your buyout.

Speaker 2 And you have to prove that you're looking for a new job in order to get that money. Jimbo's just going to get all this money.

Speaker 2 And we put a price target on the cost per barrel of oil a couple months ago at, I think, $90 per barrel. It got to $90.
I think it got to like $93.

Speaker 2 And then it dipped back down again. But that's when Texas A ⁇ M alum have real fuck you money.

Speaker 2 Once oil money gets, once the oil prices get that high, it got so bad that they were like, you know what?

Speaker 2 We're just going to say fuck it and get rid of Jimbo because we're going to have to go out, get a new coach, and we're going to have to fund that buyout too, and pay Jimbo Fisher, but it's not worth it having a team that's barely above $500 every year.

Speaker 1 And the picture that's so funny is the Texas AM donor giving like $160 million at halftime of the Texas AM Mississippi State game that was literally just like, here's his buyout.

Speaker 2 That was the 12th Man Foundation that was like giving their annual donation. It was just specifically a check to get rid of Jimbo Fisher.

Speaker 2 And oh my God, you pay me that much money to fuck off, and I am going to fuck off so hard. You will never see my face again.

Speaker 2 I would leave the country immediately. I would just, I would buy an island.

Speaker 1 I don't know what Texas AM does now because I think that might be the worst job in college football. And I know that people are like, what the fuck are you talking about? You get paid so much money.

Speaker 1 The expectations are so crazy. And like, Jimbo Fisher couldn't, he had the recruiting classes.
The COVID year is weird. He won 10 games.
He even beat Alabama in 2021, and it's still not enough.

Speaker 1 Like, it's, I don't know who would want to take that job

Speaker 1 if it's anything besides just a money play, which yeah, I would. Hand up

Speaker 1 and take that job. But you, you have to take that job knowing you're going to get paid a lot of money, and you're probably going to fail because

Speaker 1 the bar that they want to be at is so disconnected from where they are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, Big Kat, you forget Texas AM has a history of winning national championships and winning 10 games.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, that's right. They've won 10 games, I think, twice in the last 20 years.

Speaker 2 Oh, and 08, the national championship that they won, I think, was 1937. Yeah.
The most recent one.

Speaker 1 The one name that they're looking for is Oregon Dan Lanning, who came out and said that

Speaker 1 this was his quote, I think I've been really, really clear here since day one. I'm not going anywhere.
There's zero chance I'd be coaching somewhere else. I've got unfinished business here.

Speaker 1 Oregon fans rightfully were like, this is awesome. Happy he said it.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean shit.

Speaker 2 I don't think he's going to take it.

Speaker 1 He very well could not take it.

Speaker 1 We know, though, that college football coaches will say whatever they want to say in the moment and then take it later.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just coaches in general.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 People in general, in fact, will say that until you put a big check in front of them. And they're like, yeah, I'll do that.

Speaker 1 Nick Saban said, I will not be the coach of Alabama Crimson Tide. Yep.
Like two weeks before he went and was the coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Bobby Petrino said he wasn't going to leave the Falcons and then he wrote a note on a napkin and left it in the locker room. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oxygen Burris said he actually had a good tweet because It was, I can't remember what the context was. It was something about players thinking about NIL and like it's a distraction.

Speaker 1 I think maybe Saban said it was a distraction. He's like, he literally sat in front of the Michigan State team and was like, I'm not going anywhere.
And then was at LSU two weeks later. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Brian Kelly didn't, Brian Kelly didn't even go to the senior like dinner at Cincinnati because he's like, fuck that, I'm out. Yeah.
Like coaches will do whatever.

Speaker 1 It's great that Dan Lanning said it. I like Dan Lanning a lot.
I'm rooting for Dan Lanning. I hope he stays because it's better for college football if he does and guys don't keep jumping around.

Speaker 2 But I would never, ever take a quote from a coach and be like yep good we're good yeah it's over i would uh if i was a m i would look at elko they're probably looking at him right now i would i would be i would be shocked why not belichek belich why not well they do have a history bringing college uh professional coaches down to the college level yeah i think sherman did that right why not urban meyer urban meyer at he's a freak it would actually be perfect if he was at a m because it is again a cult yeah it's just freaks of different nature urban meyer is the perfect cult leader yeah i mean he sucked as an nfl head coach but as a college head coach, where he is like the warlord/slash cult leader at whatever town he's in, then he's really good at that.

Speaker 2 And there's no more insulated place in the world than College Station, Texas. It would be fun.
It would be very fun if he went, get him back in the SEC. That would be great.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They probably are delusional enough to think that they can try to get Sabin. They'll probably just like make a phone call to Saban, be like, hey, are you interested? No, okay, sorry for bothering you.

Speaker 2 Kansas head coach, Lance Lipold. Lance Lipold, they'll probably talk to him.

Speaker 1 The only problem with him, which is not fair because he's won literally everywhere he's gone, UW, Whitewater, Buffalo, now Kansas, is he's a little older.

Speaker 1 So that's like the only thing that people always like, well, he's old. Who cares? He wins games.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I also heard a rumor about Dan Campbell, Texas A ⁇ M alone.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, he could never leave.

Speaker 2 I don't think he's going to leave Detroit.

Speaker 1 Although,

Speaker 1 there's definitely... a group of Lions fans who are listening to this right now,

Speaker 1 and it might not be a large group, but I bet you there's a group that are like, that'd be cool, because then Ben Johnson would be the coach, and they don't want to lose Ben Johnson. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I guarantee you, there's some people who are thinking that in their head.

Speaker 1 They're like, because when you get that offensive coordinator whiz kid and it's like, well, we're going to lose him eventually, there's, it's not a large amount.

Speaker 1 Maybe Lions fans, you can circle a trust. You can tweet me and say, you've thought this and it's not the worst thought.
You can, you can tweet me that. I hope Dan Campbell stays at Detroit.

Speaker 1 He's perfect for Detroit. But I guarantee you, there's some Lions fans in the back of their head, they're like, ooh, that would kind of work out.

Speaker 2 I actually think that's not a thought that you've had already, but it's a great spin zone to keep in your back pocket in case you do lose Dan Campbell. There's a couple of things.

Speaker 2 It's a perfect way to work it out and say, okay, well, at least we didn't lose Ben.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think Ben is now our coach.

Speaker 2 I think 99% of Lions fans love Dan Campbell.

Speaker 1 There's just a circle of trust. I will not judge you if you tweet me this.
I will not judge you.

Speaker 1 All right, last couple of things. Jaden Daniels should be the Heisman.
We talked about it quickly on Monday.

Speaker 2 I have some stats for you, PFT.

Speaker 1 Jaden Daniels versus Florida had 372 passing yards, 234 rushing yards.

Speaker 2 That's been done a lot, hasn't it?

Speaker 1 Five total touchdowns. First player in FBS history to have 350-plus passing yards and 200-plus rushing yards in a single game.

Speaker 2 Was that his Heisman moment? Listen. I want to hear what the Heisman moments are for his competition.

Speaker 1 We also need to be start, like, he is Lamar Jackson when Lamar Jackson won the Heisman with three losses.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what he is. Except his stats might be better.
So

Speaker 2 we can look his main competition, I would say Bo Nix, Michael Pennix, right? And then Marvin Harrison. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Obviously, if you're going to go with like the most talented player, Marvin Harrison probably

Speaker 2 like in terms of pure talent and maybe better.

Speaker 1 And then a small sect of Michigan fans who are like, well, J.J. McCarthy is going to be like 45 for 50 against Ohio State for 375,000 yards.
Yeah, you could do that.

Speaker 2 But if you look at passing yards, Jaden Daniels has

Speaker 2 3,164 yards. Bo Nix has 3,135 yards.
Michael Pennix has 3,533, all pretty close together. Very, very similar in terms of stats.
And then you go to rushing yards. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jaden Daniels has 918 rushing yards. He's going to have 1,000 rushing yards this year.
Bo Nix, 121. Michael Pennix, negative 27.

Speaker 2 Jaden Daniels has more touchdowns, more rushing touchdowns than the rest of them. And his completion percentage is not quite as good as Bonix, but it's better than Michael Penix.

Speaker 1 So he also, here's some more stats. We're just going to give you guys all the things you need to go out and tell everyone.
Jaden Daniels is averaging 408 total yards per game. Second place is 350.

Speaker 1 That's a pretty big difference. Most plays of 20 plus yards in 2023.
Jaden Daniels has 76.

Speaker 1 Michael Penix has 57. And Bonix has 39.
76 plays of 20 plus yards. Here's quick power conference ranks by stat.
Jaden Daniels, total yards a game, first. Total TDs a game, first.

Speaker 1 Pass yards a game, second. Pass TDs a game, first.
Rush yards a game, first. Rush TDs a game, sixth.
QBR, first. Passer rating, first.
Yards a play, first. EPA a play, first.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm spitting bars here.

Speaker 1 He's leading everything. So

Speaker 2 I found another interesting stat on Death Valley Insider, and they compared Joe Burrows 2019 with Jaden Daniels projected 2023

Speaker 2 in a 12-game regular season. So here's what they're projecting to.
Obviously, Joe Burrow, more passing yards, 4,366, Jaden Daniels on pace for 3,797.

Speaker 2 But if you look at total yards, Joe had 4,614, Jaden Daniels on pace for 4,809,

Speaker 2 and Joe had 47 total touchdowns. Jaden Daniels would have 46 total touchdowns on pace.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 2 Now, it's not as good.

Speaker 1 He doesn't play defense.

Speaker 2 Not as good as Joe Burrow, but if you want to just look at purely from a statistical point of view, Jaden Daniels is really, really fucking good, and his defense is one of the worst.

Speaker 1 He's the best player in college football this year, and that's what the award should be. It shouldn't be a team award, and we're completely unbiased in all of these takes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's not like we're only saying this because we put a future on him to win the Heisman Trophy.

Speaker 1 I do like that there were some people being like, do you have a future on him or something? Like, yeah, we literally said it. We put it in live on air on Monday.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm just kicking myself. I didn't get it at 900.

Speaker 2 That's okay. Let's just stay the course.

Speaker 1 500 is good.

Speaker 2 500 is good.

Speaker 1 Stay the course, and Jaden Daniels should be your Heisman.

Speaker 1 Take these stats and spread them from sea to shining sea.

Speaker 2 Jaden Daniels, Heisman moment. He has a Heisman moment.
I don't know what the other guys are. That's what I go off of.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just who has the greater one replay that you watch over and over again.

Speaker 1 All right, last thing, quickly, James Madison, I told you I would give you,

Speaker 1 I'm splitting my time now

Speaker 1 because my football team is garbage.

Speaker 1 I am splitting my time between Jaden Daniels for Heisman and JMU for a bowl game.

Speaker 2 Get JMU into a bowl game. Let the kids play.
And, you know what? And Jacksonville State. I'm going to say let Jacksonville State play in a bowl game, too.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So it is a possibility. It's actually a...
I'd say about 50% chance that JMU gets to play in a bowl game, even though they're not eligible.

Speaker 1 Is this biased? No, no. Possibility or

Speaker 2 if I was being biased, I would say like they're probably going to play in a bowl game.

Speaker 2 It's about 50-50, so they are ineligible to play in the postseason.

Speaker 2 However, if there are not enough bowl-eligible teams in college football this season, then they will allow teams that are not eligible due to technicalities to play. Got it.
So that's a real thing.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that would put them in a New Year six or not. And again, I'm speaking hypothetically.

Speaker 2 If they do happen to win out, they got game day this weekend, which is awesome in Harrisonburg against App State. And then they have Coastal in the last game, which are going to be two tough games.

Speaker 2 But assuming if they happen to win both those games,

Speaker 2 then there are a number of ways that they could get into a bowl game.

Speaker 1 So who are we rooting against?

Speaker 2 So we're rooting against a lot of different teams. I can give you the entire list of teams that I'm rooting against.
Rip them off. So shout out to NIT Stu, who actually compiled all this for us.

Speaker 2 FIU, Buffalo, Wake Forest, Colorado, Washington State, Hawaii, Houston, FAU, Cal, TCU, Mississippi State, Old Dominion, South Carolina, Eastern Michigan, Northern Illinois, Navy, Rice, Western Michigan, Colorado State.

Speaker 2 And then we've got a bunch of others that were rooting to lose two games, including, unfortunately,

Speaker 2 your Wisconsin Badgers, which might happen, might not.

Speaker 1 No, they're bad, so it could very well happen. Although, I'd kind of think that they're going to beat Nebraska because Luke Fickle said we're going to find out who wants to be here.
Yep.

Speaker 1 That's always the sign of

Speaker 1 things might start to turn around because they're going to have a little like, you don't want to be here, bro.

Speaker 2 So we just don't want teams to reach six wins. And if not enough teams, reach six wins.

Speaker 1 And you can also be bull eligible at five and six,

Speaker 2 I believe. I don't know how all that works.
I think they changed it a couple of years ago. So, there's

Speaker 2 40 teams that are in the hunt. JMU needs eight or more of those to come up short.
Got it. So, I think it's a good possibility.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. 50-50.
All right, we're rooting against those teams. I'm in.
I'm in. I'm rooting against those teams.
So, everyone has their marching orders.

Speaker 1 It's to recap, Jim Harbaugh, funniest guy in the world.

Speaker 1 JMU needs to be in a bowl game. Jaden Daniels, Heisman.

Speaker 2 Yep. That feels good.

Speaker 1 I like where we're at.

Speaker 2 These are all fun things to embrace. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, now let's get to a not fun thing

Speaker 1 for Hank.

Speaker 1 It's Hot C Cool Throne.

Speaker 9 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

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Speaker 1 Hank, hot seat, cool throne.

Speaker 5 My hot seat is

Speaker 2 Bally Sports Southwest. No, it's you.

Speaker 1 It's you. It's you.

Speaker 5 My cool throne is me.

Speaker 2 No, your hot seat is you. Why's your cool throne, you?

Speaker 5 Do you decide who my hot seat is cool thrown?

Speaker 1 Well, I think the listeners decided because it took you this long to come up with this.

Speaker 5 All right, fine. I will ignore that.
I guess if you want to get right into into the presentation, yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 5 You guys are absolute divas.

Speaker 1 Hank through.

Speaker 5 There's a hundred cameras in here. Hank, I take pictures.

Speaker 5 You guys all the time, and I take my phone out. You guys are like, oh, it took me five minutes before I get pissed off at Hank.

Speaker 5 Do you get pissed off of this camera? Do you get pissed off at that?

Speaker 1 So what? What's difference between these cameras and being like, oh, what started the show?

Speaker 2 Well, Hank, you came into this room at the very start of the show before we even started taping. You shot me a look.
You're giving looks today. I've given looks.

Speaker 1 No, you came in and go, did you do the presentation?

Speaker 2 It was a question. It was a valid question, especially considering the events of last Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Here's what Hank did. He tried everything to not do this presentation.
He told me he had a call right as the show started.

Speaker 1 He heard me on the call. He was a fake company.

Speaker 1 Then he came in.

Speaker 1 He came in and he unplugged everything with the TV so that Max and Memes had to hustle trying to get everything set. He was like, oh, the presentation doesn't work.
The presentation doesn't work.

Speaker 1 It works. We're ready to go.
Let's go. Let's see this presentation, Bucko.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, you know,

Speaker 5 I did a lot of thinking

Speaker 5 the past couple weeks. You like that?

Speaker 2 I've ever heard you bucko him before. When you bucko a guy, that's so much worse than do it, bucko.

Speaker 5 The assignment at hand, are you guys going to let me speak for this one? Are you just going to interrupt me every two seconds? No, please.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Sport.

Speaker 5 The assignment at hand was to do a presentation about how the Gillette Lighthouse was not real, which,

Speaker 5 you know, I think part of the reason why I struggled to get it done was because I had already admitted that the Lighthouse was not real and we had spent a lot of time going through reasons for what makes a real lighthouse and what makes a fake lighthouse.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because you keep bringing it up.

Speaker 5 No, you guys kept bringing it up. And my point being that I didn't know how to do a presentation where

Speaker 5 explaining why the lighthouse wasn't real when we've already gone over that and I've already admitted that it wasn't real.

Speaker 5 So I decided to think bigger and go into what reality and what's real and what's fake really means. So without further ado.

Speaker 2 Did you get meta with it? You got metaphysical? Let's begin.

Speaker 2 Wait, Hank, right off the bat, I have

Speaker 2 one gripe about the opening slide of this.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 2 What does the date say on that presentation?

Speaker 2 That was just the day I started it.

Speaker 5 Henry John Lockwood, 11-5, 2023.

Speaker 2 And today is, what, the 14th? That should say the 14th.

Speaker 5 Well, I can't help when I start. Like, I've been working on this for a while.

Speaker 2 Do you always date your PowerPoint presentations when you make them? Okay. Also, Gillette is spelled incorrect good point wait jake are you like what no one gets

Speaker 2 great point jake great point cut his mic okay not joking uh which lighthouse are you talking about here hang the gillette lighthouse oh because that's a different lighthouse with one t

Speaker 1 okay so the date's wrong

Speaker 5 date's correct okay

Speaker 5 uh all right well this i mean max's formatting's fucked up he's literally lying on the ground right now flopping around didn't even give give me the presentation the way I sent it.

Speaker 5 This is supposed to be a lot clearer. I don't know why it's see-through.

Speaker 5 But what does real and fake actually mean? Real, the definition, is actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact, not imagined or supposed. Fake means not genuine or counterfeit.
Huh?

Speaker 1 Counterfeit's an interesting word.

Speaker 5 With that being said, I would like to now open up the floor to you guys. I have some examples, and you tell me what's real and what's fake.

Speaker 2 Okay, you're opening up the floor for questions?

Speaker 5 No, I'm opening up the the floor for you guys.

Speaker 1 Well, we're not allowed to talk. You're at.
Well, you've interrupted me 100%.

Speaker 2 What do you think opening up the floor means?

Speaker 5 It means you guys can give me.

Speaker 5 You have one, you have two words.

Speaker 2 I don't think you know what opening up the floor means.

Speaker 5 I'm going to show you pictures. You each, no, no other commentary, just real or fake.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll play.

Speaker 5 Next slide. That is Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 I think he was a real person.

Speaker 2 He existed.

Speaker 1 He existed.

Speaker 5 So real or fake?

Speaker 2 He existed. He existed.
Real. Real.

Speaker 5 All right. Next slide.

Speaker 1 He didn't look like that, though. Yeah, that's not a good representation of Jesus.
No.

Speaker 5 So you're saying that there's some debate on whether it's realistic.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying that picture

Speaker 2 is not a likeness of what Jesus is.

Speaker 5 Do you have a picture of what he looks like?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they tried to get a

Speaker 5 Would you call it a rendering?

Speaker 1 You remember that painting? He was a real person who existed. Do you have proof? Yes.

Speaker 2 There's historical record in

Speaker 1 the Council of Nicaea sapien.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 I just don't know how you can say that's not a real picture of him if you don't have a real picture.

Speaker 2 It's a drawing, but whatever. Okay, go on.

Speaker 1 It's clearly a drawing.

Speaker 1 You didn't have pictures back then, idiot.

Speaker 1 The moon landing. Real.
Real.

Speaker 5 How is there wind on the flag?

Speaker 2 It's not wind on the flag. They put wires in the flag to make it stand out.

Speaker 1 That's actually a fact. You can see the wires.

Speaker 5 Next picture.

Speaker 2 This pair of chests.

Speaker 1 I'm very bad at this.

Speaker 2 This pair of chests.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say real.

Speaker 2 Hank, there's only one chest there.

Speaker 1 Real.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm also bad bad at it. I've been berated several times for not correctly identifying fake boobs.
I'm going to say those are.

Speaker 2 They look real. I think they're fake.

Speaker 1 I think those are fake.

Speaker 5 Next slide. These Christmas trees.

Speaker 2 Let me take a look. Fake on the right.
They're all fake. Fake, fake, fake.

Speaker 1 The Big Bang? Real.

Speaker 5 I didn't ask you to go to the next slide, but go ahead. Real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's real. We doing evolution now? I'm just asking questions.
Yeah, it's real. It's real.
I opened the floor for you guys.

Speaker 5 I wanted some some

Speaker 1 floor. Is there a platform? Is there a point to all this?

Speaker 1 Are you actually, this is like you're

Speaker 1 Hank doesn't know whether these are real or fake. He's like, this is a perfect chance for me to ask some questions that I never, I feel too stupid to ask.
Is the Big Bang real? You guys tell me.

Speaker 1 I know, obviously, but you tell me.

Speaker 2 But there's no proof of the Big Bang being real.

Speaker 1 There is a lot of proof. There's a shitload of proof.

Speaker 2 Look at Neil deGrasse Tyson's timeline right now. I'm sure he's tweeted about it nine times today.

Speaker 1 You're talking about evolution. I believe in evolution.

Speaker 1 I do not believe that we all just sprouted out of nowhere and a dude gave a girl

Speaker 1 his rib and was like, here, now you're a girl.

Speaker 5 Some would argue that we're living in a simulation. Some would argue that the Bing Bang's real.
Some would argue that those boobs are real.

Speaker 1 Those boobs are fake. Are you questioning just like science?

Speaker 5 And you've got to question everything. That was kind of the.

Speaker 1 Are we doing flat earth next, Kyrie?

Speaker 5 The hypothesis that I went through is like, yes, technically by definition, some would say that this lighthouse is not real, but there's some that would say that it is real.

Speaker 2 I want to give Hank credit because Hank actually, this is a genius argument

Speaker 1 that you're making right now.

Speaker 2 By taking the entire concept of what we think of as reality and questioning it, that's the only way out of this. I actually, I think Hank is doing a good job.
Next slide, please.

Speaker 5 Iris Murdoch, you guys are familiar.

Speaker 2 Famously said, you tell me.

Speaker 5 We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.

Speaker 1 You could put any quote anywhere and just put a name under it and be like, here's this quote.

Speaker 1 Wait, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, look, I'm looking up a quote right now. The Gillette Lighthouse is completely fake, and anyone who thinks it's real is an idiot.
Donald Trump.

Speaker 5 Trump would never say that.

Speaker 1 He absolutely.

Speaker 2 Hank, what's your favorite Iris Murdoch novel?

Speaker 5 Probably The Great Gatsby.

Speaker 5 Next slide.

Speaker 5 Now, we go on to the...

Speaker 5 we got that.

Speaker 2 I never even read The Great Gatsby. You just know it's a book.

Speaker 1 You might like that F.

Speaker 2 Scott Fitzgerald.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Green Light. Green Light Across the Pond.

Speaker 2 Lighthouse is a...

Speaker 1 Did you subscribe to Lighthouse? Yeah, I did.

Speaker 5 So anyway, the question of what's real and what's fake can be questioned by anyone. Someone could say something's real, and someone could always have an argument that it's fake.

Speaker 5 Just because someone has proof that something's real doesn't mean that it necessarily is. And it's our job as humans to determine, find, you know, find what's an illusion and what's reality.

Speaker 5 Like, that's our daily task is what is real and what is fake. Some things,

Speaker 5 they might be like some things like, you know, Jesus, maybe he wasn't real. Maybe those things weren't real, but he's a symbol.
He's a symbol of hope.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He's a symbol of

Speaker 1 what we're going for. You're smart where you've done.
You can continue. And like, there are a lot of idiots in this world, me being one of them.

Speaker 2 Well, also, I think maybe Hank's been hanging out with somebody that has a history of questioning whether or not things are real, and that has rubbed off on him.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 Lighthouses in New England.

Speaker 5 Wait, go back, please. Can you respect my slides?

Speaker 5 The first lighthouse was built in North America was the Boston Light. So

Speaker 5 it was built in Boston, in Massachusetts. It's been a symbol of our state, of our region, for a long time.
It's a beacon of hope, if you will.

Speaker 2 Is that real?

Speaker 2 Next slide. Is that lighthouse real?

Speaker 5 That lighthouse is real. I don't know what.

Speaker 1 Oh, it is. Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. I want to set the ground rules.
So that lighthouse is real.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 5 It depends on who you ask. This is Sally Snowman.

Speaker 5 She was the last lighthouse keeper in America. Wood.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 she is retiring at the end of 2023 and will not be replaced. So, in 2024,

Speaker 5 being a lighthouse keeper as a job is

Speaker 5 not real.

Speaker 1 In 1884. Oh, it's still a real job.
It's just

Speaker 1 not happening anymore. Anywhere in the world?

Speaker 5 In America. Okay, is this.
That's my world.

Speaker 1 There's still a real job.

Speaker 2 Is Sally Snowman currently a lighthouse keeper?

Speaker 5 I'm saying in 2024.

Speaker 1 Right, but right now,

Speaker 2 I saw that you put the date at the start of your presentation. What was that again?

Speaker 5 November 5th, 2020.

Speaker 2 2023. Okay, so as of the date of this presentation.
It's taking me a long time to come to these conclusions. As of the date of this presentation, it's a real job.
Got it.

Speaker 5 But in 2024, it will not be a real job. However, in 2023, it was a real job.
So it kind of opens it up.

Speaker 2 It's like things can be real at some point, but faking at others.

Speaker 5 How does that work?

Speaker 2 You can't say in 2023 it was.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 5 Next

Speaker 5 slide.

Speaker 5 The last major lighthouse built in America was in 1962. It was Sullivan's Lighthouse in South Carolina.
That was until the Gillette Lighthouse.

Speaker 5 In conclusion,

Speaker 5 it's our job as humans, as intellectuals, to

Speaker 5 sift through the nonsense and the illusions and determine what's real and what's fake and really just find those beacons of hope. Just because someone tells you

Speaker 5 Jesus wasn't real, it doesn't mean you can't use him as a symbol of hope.

Speaker 5 Just because PFT says this lighthouse isn't real, it doesn't mean you can't, it doesn't have to be real to you and as a region. So I think it's like maybe it's not real to you guys.

Speaker 2 It's like wrestling.

Speaker 5 Patriots fans, New Englanders, they will recognize this lighthouse as a real thing, as a beacon of hope, and as a symbol of our team and our region. So that was kind of what I came to.
It was hard.

Speaker 5 You know, obviously, I had to say the Lighthouse wasn't real, but in doing my research and coming to these conclusions, it's just not real to you guys.

Speaker 1 I think that's

Speaker 2 fair.

Speaker 1 I've gotten dumber.

Speaker 2 I think Hank took the weirdest possible way to reach a reasonable conclusion, which is if we believe in the Lighthouse, then it's real.

Speaker 5 Well, I didn't know what

Speaker 5 the task was like to make a presentation about how the Lighthouse isn't real, but we know we've gone through that.

Speaker 1 Right. So I didn't.
I expect to say it's not real.

Speaker 6 I did on the show.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 After they lost.

Speaker 1 I mean, I like the presentation was good. You've confused everyone, which was smart.
You did kind of like a hey, look at my thumb, G, you're dumb. Slap him in the face.

Speaker 1 What is real?

Speaker 1 Is this real right now?

Speaker 5 I, I, I, you know, some are, some are saying that, you know, the Big Bang Theory is really the big question. Like,

Speaker 5 some, some are saying that we're just,

Speaker 5 it was, it was a comment. It was an Elon Musk TikTok, and it was a comment in the TikTok.
So, not an Elon Musk quote.

Speaker 1 This is a Billy football quote. Some are saying that we are

Speaker 5 living in a simulation, and the simulation is to determine how humans will deal with AI, and we're about to come to that. That's about to come to a head.

Speaker 2 And that has to do with the Lighthouse How?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 The Big Bang Theory. Did it happen or not?

Speaker 2 We might not even be here.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 2 Nothing is real.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Yeah.
I mean, you did a good job of confusing everyone. That was actually very smart of you, Hank.

Speaker 1 I give it an A-plus.

Speaker 2 It was good.

Speaker 2 You took the right route, was just question everything, literally everything, and so then nothing can be proven. What's that on the slide?

Speaker 1 What is that slide?

Speaker 2 It's a zoomed-in Sally Snowman. Memes and Max are loving it.
It looked like Rico.

Speaker 1 I like Sally Snowman.

Speaker 1 I'm a Sally Snowman guy. Goat.

Speaker 2 Sounds like a character in a children's book.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank. Good job.
Thank you. You feel good that that's done with?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was stressing me out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we know. How much of that slide did you do yourself?

Speaker 7 All of it.

Speaker 1 All of it?

Speaker 5 The Boston Light.

Speaker 1 I had DMs from people,

Speaker 5 but I had to go.

Speaker 1 I went the whole

Speaker 5 beginning. I think the only slide that I had some help with was the Boston light.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a good presentation. You have us questioning everything.

Speaker 1 Nothing is real. Or is everything real?

Speaker 1 That's on us. Who's Who's to say? That's for us to determine.

Speaker 2 That's the conclusion only a man who's

Speaker 2 very upset with the state of their football team would reach. Yeah.
Well, none of this really even matters.

Speaker 1 This is really, yeah, when you zoom out, you're like, this is where the Patriots season is. We're doing a presentation on what's real and what's fake.

Speaker 5 I mean, I've talked more about lighthouses this year than the Patriots.

Speaker 1 That's probably a fact. Yeah, that is a fact.
That is a fact.

Speaker 2 Because you keep bringing it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'll never bring it up again. I never want to, I mean, it's done.
It's settled.

Speaker 5 We've gone through the exercise. It's up to you whether to determine it's real or fake.
I choose real.

Speaker 2 You choose fake.

Speaker 5 It's like religion.

Speaker 1 It's still real to me.

Speaker 1 Great job, Hank. Thank you.
Great job.

Speaker 2 Was it a great job?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone watch the YouTube, subscribe to the YouTube. Hank's presentation, What Is Real?

Speaker 2 But if it was good or not, it's entirely subjective. We don't know.
That's true.

Speaker 1 We don't know anything. Good point.
If we learned anything, we don't know.

Speaker 1 That's really the biggest takeaway from Hank's entire presentation. No one knows.

Speaker 2 Question everything. Nobody can ever be wrong.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, your hot seat, Cool Throne.

Speaker 2 Well, first of all, Hank, did you do Cool Throne?

Speaker 5 Yeah, my Cool Throne was the Lighthouse presentation.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 And the hot seat was

Speaker 5 the Bally Sports. No,

Speaker 1 your hot seat was you.

Speaker 5 Taking the clip down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, about James Harden. That was soft.

Speaker 2 It was soft. That was a good speech the guy gave.

Speaker 1 It was impassioned.

Speaker 2 He was just right.

Speaker 2 He was right.

Speaker 1 Is impassioned a word?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was an impassioned speech that he gave. It was emotional.

Speaker 1 It was just a passionate. Well, it was good.
It was an impassioned speech. Can't say it was

Speaker 1 passionate. Is it

Speaker 1 empassioned?

Speaker 2 Like EM, like empathy.

Speaker 2 You become passion. Empath.
Showing intense feeling. Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 1 I nailed it.

Speaker 2 I am an empath.

Speaker 1 You're not the only nerd here, Jake.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is Connor McDavid because his coach got fired again. Yeah.
So it's time to ask the question, is Connor McDavid a coach killer, big cat? Because this is coach number four, I think, for him.

Speaker 1 Not only did his coach get fired, but they lost their number one fan.

Speaker 2 Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 1 He has renounced, disavowed the Oilers, which actually has made them win.

Speaker 1 So this is going to sound sad for me. I did put tweet alerts on for Whitney because I saw that he was doing Twitter spaces, emergency Twitter spaces.
And let's just say we love Whitney.

Speaker 1 He's the number one guest who's been on this show.

Speaker 1 He's not really a guy who's going to be working overtime. So when he was doing the Twitter spaces, I was like, this is good.
So, but now I have

Speaker 1 Twitter alerts on for him, and all he does is just be like, thank, like, congrats to the Oilers for winning. You're lucky that I like stopped being a fan.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, they should be. So here's more Twitter spaces.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing with Wit is that Wit now gets to claim that he was initially right. He was only wrong about changing his mind and being wrong.
Yes. So his original take that they suck was correct.

Speaker 2 But this is, yeah, it's Conor McDavid's fourth head coach. A lot of people are saying he's a coach killer.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say that he's a coach killer just because it's fun, and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player. Coach killer.

Speaker 2 You're so good that if you don't win everything all the time, then it means that you suck, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Speaking of Twitter spaces, did you guys see the Dolphins fan invade the Jets' Twitter space?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was pretty good. This is very funny.

Speaker 5 This is just a classic radio prank.

Speaker 8 Two points I just wanted to make.

Speaker 8 I was a big Robert Sala fan.

Speaker 8 Because of what he did with the defense, I thought he did, you know, a really good job. And I, you know, I thought keeping him or letting him go after the season was going to be a huge mistake.

Speaker 8 But holy shit, I don't know what the agenda is behind the scenes with Zach Wilson, but it's fucking disgusting at this point.

Speaker 8 Second point I wanted to quickly make was.

Speaker 1 Fins up, baby. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just all

Speaker 1 Jets. Oh, that's great.

Speaker 5 Jets Twitter space with like 800 people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I love the idea of the Jets fan like kicking him off and then looking at his phone and be like, get the fuck out of here, man.

Speaker 1 I can let this guy in.

Speaker 2 Staring just solemnly at his iPhone. Oh, that's great.
That is great. It is good.

Speaker 2 And our friend Pete Blackburn pointed out on Twitter that every coach that McDavid's had has had some sort of a dick reference in his name. Oh.
So just something he's got Noblock now.

Speaker 2 He had Woodcroft. He had Tippett before, and then Ken Hitchcock have been all of his coaches.
So he's got a type and he likes getting them all fired.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So I'm just, I'm excited that we have that narrative now, Conrick David. I agree.

Speaker 2 You have to latch on to a narrative in a sport that you, I consider myself to be a hockey expert, but I know that a lot of people in this room don't.

Speaker 2 But it's good to just take, if you're a puck boy, find a narrative, and then just latch onto it

Speaker 2 and keep repeating it. Coach Killer.

Speaker 2 My cool throne is diapers.

Speaker 2 Diapers on my cool throne because

Speaker 2 Dan Campbell has been asked about his fourth down choices that he's making, how he's going for it so often in fourth down. And he is advising Lions fans to wear diapers when they watch the game.

Speaker 2 He says, here's what I would say, because I tell my family this, just wear a diaper before some of these games. I'll give them an alert and say, put them on and be ready to roll.

Speaker 2 Only Dan Campbell could describe putting on diapers as being ready to roll. Ready to roll.
Like ready to shit yourself. I actually, I don't hate the idea.

Speaker 2 All cards on the table, I have worn a diaper during a game before.

Speaker 2 So you can pee yourself. You can be a pee dog.
I did it one time when the lions at the bathroom were very, very long in the stadium. You can dipe up for a game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dipe up for a game. I started doing this to my kids.
I'm going to be like, you're ready to roll. Yeah.
Just diaper on. Ready to roll, baby.
Ready to roll. I actually act the day and poop your pants.

Speaker 2 I might start wearing diapers when we're watching NFL streams on Sunday. That won't be gross.
You got seven hours of football.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be like a bit we could leave on the table.

Speaker 2 It's like Mel Kuiper. Mel Kuyper in the draft.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There is bathrooms right next to us.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I understand the principle behind it. Yeah.
Which is

Speaker 1 good in principle.

Speaker 2 I think that's where we're at. It's good in principle.

Speaker 2 And, yeah, I mean, you pee in the sink.

Speaker 1 I do. Yeah.
But that's a hole. That's a drain.

Speaker 2 It is a hole.

Speaker 1 I don't sit in my own urine.

Speaker 2 We just wash dishes in it.

Speaker 1 You've also peed in the sink.

Speaker 2 I have peed in the sink. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Dan Campbell.

Speaker 5 Did you talk about the old office piss sink now that we're not there anymore?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I think I talked about it when we were there, too. Yeah, there was a shop sink that no one used in the hallway.

Speaker 2 Did you get busted?

Speaker 1 There was a couple times where someone maybe came around the corner and I had to zip up real quick. Like, oh,

Speaker 2 wash my hands i i got busted it was during a sunday i was peeing in the shop sink and um which is just in the for for like the reference it was in the hallway in the middle of the hallway it's a hallway that's not used

Speaker 2 that like it was our office and there was like three other businesses in this same but we only had two bathrooms for 50 people i know but yeah but we had we had two not just two bathrooms we had two toilets for 50 people 50 people and so there's a shop sink that was in the back hallway to the businesses on a sunday nobody else used this office it was which i put everyone on to i was like yo, guys, there's a sink we can piss in.

Speaker 2 It was just us for the most part. The rule was just leave the water running.

Speaker 1 Yeah, leave the water running. Yeah.
Don't poop.

Speaker 2 It's number one only. And so, yeah, I went back there.
I relieved myself. I was like the fourth person to use it that day.
And then I heard footsteps around the corner.

Speaker 2 And as I'm zipping up, this woman's like, excuse me. And I looked at her and I was like, can I help you? And she was like, yeah, I work here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 well, I'm piss here. Sorry.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So do do I.
Yeah. This is, I'm working right now, actually.

Speaker 1 There's, listen, Max, what are you going to say? You're going to say that was bad?

Speaker 6 No, I was just going to say you were like, yeah, we only did it on Sundays.

Speaker 1 Oh, I did

Speaker 1 every day. I only pee to that sink on Sundays.

Speaker 1 Listen, I pee in the sink in my house. Every other pee in the sink in the office setting has only been because we have had a limited amount of toilets.

Speaker 1 It was the old New York office, the first office that we had like 100 people in two bathrooms. That was when I started pissing in the sink.

Speaker 1 I only do it when I have to.

Speaker 5 What if your son sees you peeing and starts doing it?

Speaker 1 I'd be like, look, this is what we do. We're men.

Speaker 5 Do you have like a specific sink or is it just all sinks or all tables?

Speaker 1 Yeah, kitchen sink, no problem. After I do the dishes, give myself a little reward.

Speaker 2 I would love to see a urinal built into this studio right here. That would be nice.
Backed over in that corner. Yeah.
That's a good spot for it. It would be a good spot.

Speaker 1 All right, my hot seat is Max.

Speaker 1 Max, you're on the hot seat. Oh, I think I know.

Speaker 6 This isn't a college basketball show.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. Oh, you have so many losses.
You don't even know what you're on the hot seat for.

Speaker 2 I know what it's for.

Speaker 1 You're on the hot seat because the Philadelphia Water Dogs are now the team. The Water Dogs are in Philadelphia.
And so they announced all the... That was a good clap, Jake.
No one else clapped. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exciting. Well,

Speaker 1 we've been given Philadelphia as the home of the Water Dogs. Fitting that we finished second last year.
Max, every time that we lose, it's your ass.

Speaker 6 No, now we

Speaker 6 band together as a group.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, because I really

Speaker 1 band together to root for the Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Valid.

Speaker 2 I just had a question, but you answered it. I forgot what place that the Philadelphia Water Dogs was in last year.

Speaker 1 Second. So we're the Philadelphia Water Dogs.
I love it.

Speaker 2 I love it. Philly, Philly.

Speaker 1 When Paul Rabel was talking me through the different options, I was like, it'd be weird if, you know, like we did Boston or D.C. or I think it was Great Lakes maybe, for the Midwest region.

Speaker 1 I was like, why don't we just put this all on Max?

Speaker 6 That seems.

Speaker 6 I'm happy to have them. I'm happy to have the dogs.
I'm happy.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to ride with my guys.

Speaker 6 I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go to battle for my guys.

Speaker 1 I don't think you are.

Speaker 2 I'm very excited about this because Philly's a great sports town fan.

Speaker 2 Passionate sports fans,

Speaker 2 such as yourself, Max. I would like to see an SEC-type atmosphere, kind of like the bank, kind of like a JV version of the bank.

Speaker 1 It would be be a shame if we started throwing batteries at the whip snakes.

Speaker 6 We don't do that anymore.

Speaker 1 Why'd I say, do you want to replay what I just said? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it would be a shame, but it would be a real shame if we did a pardon my take, battery giveaway

Speaker 1 for one of the games.

Speaker 2 I would like our stadium to be like the safe space for Philly fans to be able to do all the stuff they used to do.

Speaker 1 No, I want them to like wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We should bring Santa Claus out every halftime and have the crowd just boom. Just get it out of your system.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we want the nastiest fans in the world.

Speaker 6 I like that a lot.

Speaker 1 You don't have to do anything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want exclusively Philly trash at this game.

Speaker 1 No one else is.

Speaker 1 You literally just have to open your eyes, and you open your eyes every day, and it's trash. Okay, fine.

Speaker 1 Max, this is exciting.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, I'm excited. I'm excited.

Speaker 1 Wooder dogs. I love my Water Dogs.

Speaker 6 My boys are going to be fired up to play in Philly. This group is going to be fired up for Philly sports.
It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 2 The correct way to pronounce is the Fluffy Water Dogs. Water dogs.
Fluffy Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Fluffy?

Speaker 2 Fluffy. Fluffy Water Dogs.

Speaker 6 You're just saying different letters.

Speaker 2 It's the Fluffy Water Dogs. That's how you say it in Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Fluffy?

Speaker 2 The Fluffy Water Dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think anyone says Fluffy.

Speaker 2 They say

Speaker 2 it sounds like Fluffy when they say it.

Speaker 2 I like the Fluffy Eagles.

Speaker 6 Like the Philadelphia?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, kind of like Philadelphia.

Speaker 2 If you're drunk enough, it sounds like Fluffy Eagles.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. I'm excited.

Speaker 1 All right, so big announcement. Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 My cool throne is John Carlos Stanton.

Speaker 1 So he now gets a pass to be injured because Brian Cashman did a press conference, and Brian Cashman said, We try, talking about John Carlos Stanton, we try to limit the time he's down, but I'm not going to tell you he's going to play every game next year because he's not.

Speaker 1 He's going to wind up getting hurt again more likely than not because it seems to be part of his game.

Speaker 1 What a quote. So

Speaker 2 in this press conference, was this the same one where he's just standing outside like yelling at reporters? Yeah. Yeah, it seems like that's a man that knows he might get fired soon.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I.

Speaker 2 So you see the agent's response? No, what did he say? Stanton's agent responded today. I read the context of the entire interview.
I think it's a good reminder for all free

Speaker 2 agents considering signing in New York, both foreign and domestic, that to play for the team, you've got to be made of Teflon, both mentally and physically, because you can never let your guard down, even in the offseason.

Speaker 1 Cashman might be trying to get fired.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 It's a man that knows that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, actually, I think he might.

Speaker 2 I think he might want to get fired because if you're the GM of the Yankees and you don't win a World Series, everyone's like, this guy's a clown. Right.

Speaker 2 And anything less than that, and you lose a lot. Like, you haven't won a World Series in a long time.
So it seems like a thankless job.

Speaker 2 You usually don't give a big media press conference outside what appears to be like, I don't know, a strip of

Speaker 2 street side restaurants in front of the media screaming at everybody if you're very secure in your job. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 I look forward to more cashman quotes if he's trying to get fired.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 2 My hot seat's the New Orleans Pelicans.

Speaker 2 Zion Williamson, first overall pick, superstar, told the media he's quote, trying his best to buy in right now.

Speaker 2 So that sounds very optimistic.

Speaker 1 Someone quote you and said he should try to buy an oxygen mask because he was breathing really heavy during that press conference. And I laughed.

Speaker 2 Would you consider Zion Williamson to be a superstar?

Speaker 1 Yes. No.
No. I don't think I would.

Speaker 2 I don't think he's played enough games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to be a superstar. I don't think he's going to play.
No way he's a superstar.

Speaker 2 Even though I might have just said superstar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's not a superstar.

Speaker 2 That's why I wanted to address it because

Speaker 2 I feel like he is called a superstar a lot, but I don't think that he is.

Speaker 1 Superstars play.

Speaker 5 What other player

Speaker 5 has torn through their shoe and affected a stock?

Speaker 1 See, he was a college superstar. I absolutely agree with that.
Yeah. He was definitely a college superstar.

Speaker 2 He won a championship, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that team was loaded.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they were really good.

Speaker 1 And your cool throne?

Speaker 2 My cool throne's lucky underwear. During the Manning cast, Patrick Mahomes told the Mannings that he's worn the same pair of underwear for his entire NFL career, every game.

Speaker 1 That was fucked up, too, how he predicted that so perfectly.

Speaker 2 He knew.

Speaker 1 Did you see the clip?

Speaker 1 Eli Manning was like, I think the Broncos were like first and goal in the 10. He's like, are they going to score a touchdown and how? And he's like, they're going to run.
They're going to run.

Speaker 1 They're going to do a play action pass and score. Literally exactly how it went down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, pretty sick. Also, to your point earlier, PFT, I'm going to say Eagles Chiefs Monday Night Football is going to be the highest-rated game of the season moving forward.

Speaker 2 Also, there's potential of Taylor appearing in primetime.

Speaker 1 Standalone. It has to be.
Super Bowl rematch Kelsey's.

Speaker 2 And she's a Philly girl. I mean, it has to be the highest-rated game of the year, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good call.

Speaker 2 Ratings of the year. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our interviews.
We've got two of them. Great ones.
Carissa Thompson in studio and Bruce Bocey.

Speaker 2 Paul's here, kids are back in school. Vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on.
You know what that means? Bombus season is on. Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever.

Speaker 2 And they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 2 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 2 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash audio.

Speaker 1 Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest, third time on. It is Carissa Thompson.
You can see her on Thursday Night Football, Amazon Prime.

Speaker 1 Let's start with that.

Speaker 4 I'm not in my prime, and this is the third time I've been on. You are in your prime.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the first time was when you came on. We got every single fact about your life wrong.
Yeah, you did.

Speaker 1 You said you went to washington state we called larry david you didn't let us talk to larry david second time was um in your office in california with uh ea so it was you and aaron were on the show great time so this is number three we're back on our home turf again factually wrong though i know that this is your podcast so i'm going to shut up and let you ask the questions but you know the first time we all met It wasn't your podcast yet.

Speaker 4 It was on the set of

Speaker 1 Selling B.

Speaker 4 Before you guys had a dollar, and now I'm in this bazillion dollar studio. $20,000, $20 bazillion dollars.

Speaker 4 I didn't want to put your business in the streets, but if you want to tell people again how rich you are,

Speaker 1 so bravo to you guys.

Speaker 2 The first time you were on part of my take, I remember we were in three different locations. I was in like my New York apartment.
I think Big Cat might have been in San Francisco for some reason.

Speaker 2 You were in Hollywood Hills, hobnobbing with the big shots. As I normally do, I remember my washer and dryer was right behind me because that was also my kitchen.
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4 You just reach in for clean laundry and your top ramen. But you guys have come a long ways.

Speaker 1 We have. Wait, so I actually, I

Speaker 1 try to black out the spelling B because it was kind of embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Was that a low point for you in your career? No, that was a high point. We went opposite directions.
We walked in. I remember it was so sad because we walked into Fox Sports and

Speaker 1 there was like a timed union like dinner and everyone left. That's true.
And we're like, who's going to run the cameras? And they're like, we'll let one guy stay.

Speaker 1 So it was like one guy, Carissa, me, Dave, and Hank standing there and being like, what are we doing?

Speaker 4 It was fantastic. So for those of you that were born, I don't know.

Speaker 4 recently, Fox Sports Live was the first program on FS1 when it became a cable entity.

Speaker 4 And we had no idea what we were doing, but I still reference that show regularly because the shit that we got away with was phenomenal.

Speaker 4 Gary Payton openly referencing like, I jerked off $30 million

Speaker 4 and Andy Roddick saying, what's the other hand for? Like, it is one of the greatest moments that no one saw on television. We had so much fun.
It was Gary Payton, Donovan McNabb, Andy Roddick.

Speaker 4 Gabe Kapler

Speaker 4 was on it as well. And the show didn't do as well as we wanted, but you guys were a highlight.
And I just, I'm just very proud of you.

Speaker 1 Are you come? I remember the whole time just being like, Carissa probably is like, why? She's going to call her agent after this and be like, what did you just sign me up for? This is.

Speaker 4 On the contrary, I have just watched from afar. You guys continue to succeed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What would you say is the low point in your career?

Speaker 4 Oh, God. Low point in my career.
Probably when I said play cock instead of play clock at a Minnesota gophers game when I was working for the Big Ten Network.

Speaker 4 It was so cold outside, and I kept saying the word over and over again because I tried to correct it. And then at this point, I was like, back to you, Tom.

Speaker 4 Like, after saying cock 10 times, I was like, I'm going to be fired. There's no way I am going to continue in this industry.
But yeah, that wasn't a highlight.

Speaker 2 Did they have a word with you after that? Were they like, did you do that on purpose?

Speaker 4 No, they, I mean, they understood, you know, the minutes, like, call, it was outside. Right.

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, there wasn't a dome at the old gophers game. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So they understood that I was freezing, but they were like, hey, maybe next time, like, if you get the word wrong on accident, maybe don't keep saying it. Timer.

Speaker 1 I also, like, it's maybe because we've been around media for so long now and been doing this. I, my

Speaker 1 respect for sideline

Speaker 1 analysts and people who are they cutting to has grown exponentially because you guys get like no time and you have to nail it.

Speaker 4 And it's like, we're gonna go to you 20 seconds you got to get everything out all this information and i would i would do that i'd play say play cock cock every time there is a reason that i am no longer a sideline reporter and i say this to aaron andrews all the time i'm like you you prep all week long you have all these calls with players you have all these calls with coaches you have all this for 15 to 20 seconds and then half the time it's not even on camera right it's just like a report so i'm like you the the amount the the roi on the amount of work that you put in versus what you actually see I give them so much respect and there's a reason that I don't do that anymore either yeah and I would just freeze every time they sent it to me like wait I'm on okay and they're like all right that's all time's up Joe back to you the details with like how you hold the mic each reporter's got like a different grip on it do I go two finger do I go three do I do the extended pinky like which way you have to make sure that the mic flag is pointed directly at the camera and there's a lot of red meat too because it's like a break in the action So if you screw up anything, that's all anybody talks about for the next five minutes on Twitter.

Speaker 4 It's a big lot. like, where's the upside? Like, you're only going to fail in that situation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just talked to Mike Tomlin. He says that we need to go out in the second half and compete.

Speaker 4 I, and I've said this before, so I haven't been fired for saying it, but I'll say it again. I would make up the report sometimes because, A, the coach wouldn't come out at halftime or it was too late.

Speaker 4 And I was like, I didn't want to screw up the report.

Speaker 4 So I was like, I'm just going to make this up because, first of all, no coach is going to get mad if I say, hey, we need to stop hurting ourselves. We need to be better on third down.

Speaker 4 We need to stop turning the ball around.

Speaker 1 Show the quarterback.

Speaker 4 Yeah, exactly. And do a better job of getting off the field.
Like, they're not going to correct me on that. So I'm like, it's fine.

Speaker 1 I'll just make up the report.

Speaker 2 It would be very funny if you were like, yeah, so I just spoke with Arthur Smith at halftime, and he said Bijan Robinson blew smoke in his face. That's why he's not getting the ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That would be funny if you made it up like an I would go back and do sidelines if I could make it up.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, best in the show, like, how funny that show was because of like the stuff that was the actor, um, what's the guy? Chris Washington. No, incorrect um whoever the

Speaker 4 actor is no that's incorrect yes michael mccann okay anyways the guy that plays who's the actor i think he passed away in best in show and chris myers is like a spot-on like version of him in real but the dog show doesn't let you have fun no that that's the only reason i wouldn't want to do the show yeah we got kicked out of the dog show well i gotta be kicked out of a lot of

Speaker 2 credentials i got arrested at the dog show i didn't hear about that yeah that that was actually the highlight of my career that might be the lowlight of most people

Speaker 2 but i got arrested and i was put into a holding cell and no you were not and i was like a dog kennel yeah yeah they basically put me downstairs like where the great danes were they're like staying here um the department of homeland security started asking me questions because they thought that we had well we had fake credentials to get in phenomenal they thought that we were terrorists i was like i honestly that's not funny i wanted to come in here and pet dogs and that's it and the funny thing was it wasn't even really for content no we just wanted to hang out with fake credentials i want to work here they were bad fake credentials Wait, I think Amazon Prime for Thursday Night Football is spicing up a little.

Speaker 1 We should have like two truths and a lie

Speaker 1 sideline reporter. Like, they're going to make up one, and you guys have to guess.

Speaker 4 I might do that in the post-game show, depending on how this game goes here on Thursday. So no problem.

Speaker 1 We're taping this before Bears Panthers. We'll probably run this next week, which, but

Speaker 1 you guys have Black Friday too, Jets, Dolphins. Yep.

Speaker 1 Bears Panthers. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 No, hey, look, it's the only game on. I always look at it like this.
This is also why I've gambled in the past.

Speaker 4 Like, I don't care about basketball game four in the NBA season, but I care if I put money on it, right?

Speaker 4 So, it's the only game on. It's prime time.
What else are you doing? So, even if the teams maybe aren't as great as you want and the matchup's not ideal, it's still the NFL and it's football.

Speaker 1 It's also Thursday night football. I love it because it's like the unofficial kickoff to the weekend.
You're like, all right, here we go.

Speaker 1 We have all the football ahead of us because I'm so dumb that like when Monday rolls around, I'm watching Monday Night Football. I'm like, oh, oh man, it's over three days, so we got football.

Speaker 4 Yeah, see, now we're being optimistic.

Speaker 1 Yes, it's a beautiful football.

Speaker 4 It's the father in you. Yeah, it's like kick off.
We remember when you had no children. You're all grown up now.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.
I'm just a lot more tired.

Speaker 1 All right, so Thursday night football on Amazon Prime. It seems like you guys have an awesome time.
The best. Seems like you guys have a really fun time.

Speaker 1 How has it been like in terms of play spot in your career, like getting to work with all these people? Because the entire panel is just like characters.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 shout out to Amazon for giving us the runway to be ourselves, right? I mean, you guys, I don't need to tell you, you've made a very good living off of being yourselves.

Speaker 4 And when an employer allows you that, same as at Fox, like they've always let me be who I am, good, bad, or indifferent. And Amazon does the same thing.

Speaker 4 Fitz is ripping off his shirt, you know, in Buffalo and Witt is carrying Kevin Hart off the set. Like there's just, they let us be us.

Speaker 4 And I think hopefully the viewer sees that it's authentic because we aren't polished.

Speaker 4 And we're not, I mean, there's a time and a place to be professional, but at the end of the day, it's football, it's fun, and it's not that serious.

Speaker 4 So balancing information and entertainment is sort of the perfect 50-50 goal, and that's hopefully what we do every week.

Speaker 2 Are you allowed to custom the broadcast?

Speaker 4 Are you allowed to?

Speaker 4 I think it's frowned upon, but if it's, if it's, if a, you know, a four-letter word slips out every now and then, I'm sure it's not the biggest deal, but I don't think they encourage it.

Speaker 2 It would just be awesome.

Speaker 2 Especially for a game like this, you were like, welcome back to Thursday night fucking football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want me to do it? How's that sound?

Speaker 4 You should never dare me to do anything. I know.
I'll try it once, probably twice. Boys.
Like my marriage.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, that was a nice slip in there.

Speaker 4 Hey, I got jokes, guys.

Speaker 1 People, you got a new boyfriend.

Speaker 4 I do. I have a great boyfriend because I was a terrible scout.
Like, I should never be a GM. I think I'm good at

Speaker 4 first rounders and they end up being total busts. So I now don't pick my boyfriends.
And actually.

Speaker 1 Someone else did. So what is it like dating Ryan Rossillo?

Speaker 4 ryan russillo and i are finally together after all these years he is my brother and this is the kind of relationship we have i know everyone yeah i remember van pelt was always like you and russillo should get together i'm like he's like my brother you guys are going to end up together in the end do you have a pact where if you're both if you're both 60 and single

Speaker 4 listen if you're both 60 and single will you marry ryan russillo No, because he's like my brother and I'm just not into marrying my siblings.

Speaker 1 Friend zone so hard. No, it's not a friend zone.

Speaker 4 He would feel the same way. He'd be like,

Speaker 4 there's no way I could marry my sister.

Speaker 2 We're just like too close. I heard that so much in eighth grade.
We're just too close to friends. We don't want to ruin it.

Speaker 4 Eighth grade, but sometimes, no, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 Wait, so who picked your new boyfriend?

Speaker 4 Matthew Stafford and Kelly. Oh, yeah.
They were like, yeah, they were like, Carissa, you've dated some real losers and married some. So we're going to pick your boyfriend.

Speaker 4 And I just thought it was like a rebound. I was like, this is cool.
Like, I'll date this guy. He's chill, easy going.
And then actually, it's my longest relationship I've ever been in.

Speaker 4 So a happy relationship. Love it.
You know, I've had some real bad ones, but yeah.

Speaker 1 But we got to meet him to approve. You would approve.
Yeah, maybe Super Bowl Week will meet him. Yeah.
Give him the ocular pat down.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get him hammered and try to have some tough conversations with him.

Speaker 4 Hard-hitting questions. Not two truths and a lie.
That's what you should have the game come to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're going to get him. I'm going to get him hammered and be like, hey, Rosillo was talking a lot of shit about you.
You should probably step to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get him hammered and just talk about how handsome Rasillo is going to be.

Speaker 1 You guys, you know what?

Speaker 2 How much do you squat? Because Rascillo squats like $4.50.

Speaker 1 Ryan is fucking jacked. Yeah, you're not.

Speaker 4 We need to get Rascillo out of the house.

Speaker 4 His house is almost as nice as your guys' studio beautiful isn't it yeah we went yeah we went to it this guy's rich too what's going on i still have 75 jobs and you guys have the best ones and are loaded i actually think that rascillo would be great in prison he would love

Speaker 2 think about it because like he doesn't he doesn't really go outside that much as long as as long as prison had league pass yeah yeah yeah and weights yeah so obviously prison has weights so you just work out eat and then watch basketball all day tales from the prison yard yeah yeah he's actually in prison right now, just in a $10 million house.

Speaker 1 He's like Pablo Escobar. All right, so I actually, I got a question for you.

Speaker 2 It's we play this game with every guest that sits down.

Speaker 4 Oh, so I'm not special. Okay, God.

Speaker 2 No, but it's like a recurring thing that you do. You know, you guys have bits that you do on Thursday football.

Speaker 2 You have a gun, and there's one bullet in your gun, and you have to shoot somebody.

Speaker 2 Do you shoot Aaron Andrews?

Speaker 2 Or do you shoot Jeff Bezos?

Speaker 4 Where am I shooting them? In the head.

Speaker 1 In the face.

Speaker 4 Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 1 Yeah. In the face.

Speaker 2 We asked the same question to everyone.

Speaker 1 Execution style.

Speaker 2 Everyone always says Bezos, by the way.

Speaker 4 I would never kill Jeff. He signs my check.
Yeah, so that's

Speaker 1 so bye.

Speaker 4 No, because she would know. No, I would never kill Aaron.

Speaker 1 This is hard. You have to answer this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but if you don't shoot anybody or you try to shoot yourself, then everybody dies.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'd shoot myself.

Speaker 1 But then we're all going down together. Aaron and Jeff.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I'd rather take us all out than have to pick. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's beautiful. Parissa Thompson wants to murder Aaron.
Myself.

Speaker 4 Aaron and Jeff.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 But we'll all be in heaven together in a really nice house. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 Who do you think? That would actually suck because Jeff Bezos would definitely get like the first billing in that, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, because it would be his house.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like Jeff Bezos dies, also present.

Speaker 1 Aaron Andrews. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 We're always the others. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Your podcast with Aaron, though, probably would go top of the charts.

Speaker 4 Fine, then death it is.

Speaker 1 It's like when a musician dies and everyone just listens to all their music that week. There we go.
Yeah. People should die more.
We've We've recorded episodes of the music.

Speaker 1 This is Al Michael's calling right now. Oh,

Speaker 1 didn't let us talk to Larry David.

Speaker 4 Do you want to talk to Al?

Speaker 4 Al, don't say anything. You're on speakerphone.
Say hi to the pardon my take, guys.

Speaker 1 Hi, Al.

Speaker 7 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Are you on the air?

Speaker 4 I am. So say hi.

Speaker 4 To pardon my take? Yeah, say

Speaker 4 hello.

Speaker 1 Hey, gang.

Speaker 1 Is this a paid appearance?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't do anything for free. I need money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Al, we offered you $300,000 to come on the podcast, but you declined. This is a paid appearance for me.
Oh, yes, yes, that is. You'll get a check.

Speaker 1 Corinna has enough money.

Speaker 4 No, I don't. I have a lot of bills.
Um, yeah, okay, say goodbye before we both get fired.

Speaker 1 Aloha, by the way, you are not coming back tomorrow, right? What are you doing? Where are you going tomorrow?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm coming back to LA.

Speaker 1 Oh, with me, right?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're all coming back together. You've already kicked me off the plane.

Speaker 1 I don't know. But Amina's coming.
Amina, you, me, Kaylee, and Jared. I'll go to L.A.
Perfect. Oh, wait.

Speaker 4 We got Eric and Dan, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. We'll go.
We'll go.

Speaker 4 Well, look at that. We have a party.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We love you, Al.

Speaker 2 I'm going to L.A. anyway, so we'll catch up.

Speaker 1 24-hour party. I got you.
Yeah, it's my love.

Speaker 1 Listen, everybody, calm down.

Speaker 4 This guy, he's good, everyone.

Speaker 1 Al, can you just say, real quick, the Bears are back?

Speaker 1 The Cow Bears? No, the Bears.

Speaker 4 That's how we need to end this conversation. I love you.
I love you.

Speaker 1 I'll see you guys.

Speaker 1 I've got nothing better than that. Aloha.
Damn it. I was so close to getting you.
He said the cowbears? Cowbears.

Speaker 2 Jake Marsh's jaw was

Speaker 2 that entire stone with Al Michael.

Speaker 1 So big Al Michael Marshall.

Speaker 4 So am I. And this is how sweet Al is, probably because he feels bad for all of us peasants.
He lets us fly back with him.

Speaker 1 It's a little PJ talk.

Speaker 4 On his

Speaker 4 little PJ talk.

Speaker 1 Big Con PFT when I'm calling that you guys are on my PJ.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you. Thanks,

Speaker 1 we're going to be on his PJ.

Speaker 2 Herbie gets a PJ too, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay, so I'm busy.

Speaker 2 I saw a tweet from Herbie yesterday.

Speaker 2 He does travel a lot.

Speaker 2 He's got his dog with him on the plane now. And he said that his dog just got certified as an emotional support animal.
That feels like a fake emotional support animal to me.

Speaker 2 It feels like he just wants his dog.

Speaker 1 You don't have to do that for a PJ.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'm definitely.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to question the authenticity of Ben because Ben can do nothing. That's the dog's name?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm pro-Ben.
But

Speaker 4 what I'd like to, because I'm going to turn this around and open this discussion up for the fake pre-boarders. Those are the people I want credentials on.
Yeah. You got to show me the handicap.

Speaker 4 I'm all for you having to get on the plane early, but you look like you're walking fine. Yeah.
You look just...

Speaker 1 You're talking to me right now.

Speaker 1 I slip in.

Speaker 4 You're that guy. Yeah, I slip in.
You're the guy that's like, oh, I've got kids. I got to get on her.

Speaker 1 No, I don't say anything. You just slip in.

Speaker 4 With all your children?

Speaker 1 No, by myself. You're a fake pre-boarder.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Who are these people?

Speaker 2 Piquette's always been like a if group three is called and he's group like way back in the day if he's grouped.

Speaker 1 They're not oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 This one's not group three.

Speaker 2 He just goes up with

Speaker 2 a break.

Speaker 4 No, the best is the group sevens that are hovering around the entrance. Yeah, I don't know.
Now I'm the asshole that's got to be like, hey, what group are you? And they're like, seven.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, oh, sorry, can I get by? And then it's like, oh, I'm an asshole because I'm in first class. I've been in 32B most of my life.
You got to damn right.

Speaker 4 I'm moonwalking into first class at this point.

Speaker 1 I'd never hover. It's literally just as soon as they start boarding the very first person.

Speaker 4 Like, are you like, you're a fake pre-boarder? You know what?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not sitting first class. How long have I known you?

Speaker 4 10 years.

Speaker 1 I have no problem with it. They never say anything.
It's a hack in the system.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because then we're not supposed to question if you actually have a handicap.

Speaker 1 Question all the rules. Steve Jobs taught me that.
Oh, God. I don't know if Steve Jobs said that.

Speaker 2 One time I had a guitar and they told me you can get on with the pre-board. And I did.
I started.

Speaker 4 Well, why? Because you have an instrument?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 they said, sir, you have a guitar. You obviously need that to function in society.
You're a weird guy. So I went up to the front, and then a line behind me formed.
I was a first-person pre-board.

Speaker 2 Everybody behind me was a veteran.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I had to go in front of veterans. Oh, no, they got behind me.

Speaker 2 And then they looked at me. I was like, I got the guitar.

Speaker 2 They have like Vietnam hats on. And I'm like, it's a Gibson.

Speaker 1 You're an asshole. They told me.
You're a fake pre-board. I don't go in front of veterans.

Speaker 1 No, I don't go in front of

Speaker 2 the flight attendant.

Speaker 1 I don't go in front of veterans. If they say boarding group one is boarding and I'm group two, I will get in the back of group one.
They're going to get to two. I know how numbers work.

Speaker 4 Do you are everything wrong with this system?

Speaker 1 No, not at all. With society.
Not at all. With society, with life.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let's just with your generation.

Speaker 2 I like how people do that.

Speaker 1 Wait, so I want to go back because you said that. So Matthew Stafford and Kelly hooked you up, but you also kind of hooked up.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 4 No, I can't take, oh, we can't take credit for that.

Speaker 1 No, take credit. No, do it because we want a clip and we'll just put that.

Speaker 4 Oh, for social? Yeah. No, Travis was very sweet and he said, I owe you guys big time.
Now, this is how this whole deal played out. Was

Speaker 4 Aaron and I have known Travis, you know, forever, and he's been so great to us. He bought Erin a baby present when she had Mac.
Like, that's

Speaker 1 the line of

Speaker 4 demarcation of being a good guy. Yeah, when I didn't buy you a baby gift, I'm like, I think OJ Simpson ever bought a baby present?

Speaker 1 Probably. Let's not.

Speaker 4 Why are we going to, that's where you go?

Speaker 1 O.J., you're just throwing away. That's a very loose line.
it more to life than buying somebody. Yeah, being like, he's a great guy.
He bought a baby present.

Speaker 4 You are Travis Kelsey. You don't even, he doesn't even have to know that Aaron had a baby, but he took the time, bought a baby presentation.

Speaker 1 This is pre-Taylor Travis. Summer said, that's not true.

Speaker 4 Well, how do we know that? What was the date they got to do?

Speaker 1 Summer saying that Travis knew that if he did this, that you would go on a podcast.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because it really matters what they say.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 Travis is a great guy. We wanted him to be with someone great.
We love Taylor Swift.

Speaker 4 So the whole story, you know, he was telling it on his podcast to his brother about how he had made the friendship bracelet with his phone number on it. He couldn't give it to her.

Speaker 4 Okay, we all know that. And we were like, you have to give Taylor, like, give Travis a try.
This was like months before they ended up getting together.

Speaker 4 So in sort of a tongue-in-cheek way, I think he was like, I owe you guys big time. We had nothing to do with it, but we will gladly take credit for things we did not do.

Speaker 2 Can you hook maybe Hank up with somebody?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's always singing Sexy Red.

Speaker 4 Okay, so what?

Speaker 1 He's always like my booty old brown.

Speaker 2 He says it all the time. Right.
So do you think maybe you could put the word out to sexy red, like Hank Lockwood, single, ready to mingle?

Speaker 1 Sure. Ice Spice?

Speaker 4 I don't know Ice Spice.

Speaker 1 Taylor knows Ice Spice. Didn't she introduce her at SNL or something? I don't know.

Speaker 4 I'm happy to play Matchmaker. I love love, even if I've been terrible at it in the past.

Speaker 2 Who do you think Hank would be cute with?

Speaker 4 What's his type?

Speaker 2 Everything. Everything.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow, that narrows it down.

Speaker 2 Big, small, tall, short.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 4 Equal opportunity for longer.

Speaker 1 He loves big women. I know that.
Great. Yeah.
Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 12 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now? Ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 12 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 4 Who has been your favorite guest?

Speaker 2 Favorite guest of all time.

Speaker 4 I'll ask the questions around here.

Speaker 1 Well, we have like ourselves and we've been crew of recurring guests that we love. And there's like, you know, Rosillo's in there, Dak Prescott, Van Pelt, Blake Bortles, Blake Griffin.

Speaker 4 So you can't pick a favorite. Who's your favorite kid? Let's do the Dion.
Who's your favorite kid? My daughter.

Speaker 1 Easy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Well, because it's your only girl. Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 And everyone always asks me that. Like, they're getting a Trump card.
And I just, I'm like, my daughter. Yeah, I would say.

Speaker 4 Like, I have a favorite dog. I love both of my dogs, but Willis is my favorite because he's the OG and he's been there the longest.

Speaker 1 So what's your other dog's name? Daisy. He knows.
She knows. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She knows. Yeah.
Is she?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a she. Well, I felt bad because I bought Willis and I was like, I'm a dick.

Speaker 4 I need to adopt a dog because I believe that all dogs, hence the proceeds for Ruby Ranch, are going to the dog rescue that I'm going to start on the ranch.

Speaker 4 Because I was like, oh, I need to adopt a dog. And she's the sweetest dog in the world.
And then the dog that I bought is a dick, but I love him because he like knows that I bought him.

Speaker 4 And he's like, I'm rich and

Speaker 1 you're poor. Yeah, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Wait, so the ranch, we got to get some stellar blue coffee there because I have a coffee.

Speaker 4 Yes, I would love that.

Speaker 1 Dogs, but tell us about the ranch. You bought a ranch.

Speaker 4 Yes, because I watched Yellowstone. I was that chick that was like, oh, now I want a ranch.
So I looked for a long time. I found this awesome property and I'm renovating it currently.

Speaker 4 And then I'm going to just. Bring all the dogs that I can onto the ranch.
I have cattle there right now. I have a pig.
I've got a horse.

Speaker 4 And I'm just going to turn into a big animal rescue because I'm a shitty person in a lot of ways, but this is like my good deed. This is my, you know, my deposit back into life.

Speaker 2 So you'd be the happiest place on earth.

Speaker 4 It really is. You know, I called it Ruby Ranch because it is, there's no place like home and it's my version of Disneyland.
It's just animals running free and like

Speaker 2 my vision of retirement is just having a kind of a ranch or a farm with a whole bunch of animals and just hanging out on my porch.

Speaker 4 Okay, then come to Ruby Ranch. Me, you, Rossillo.

Speaker 1 You're welcome to come for the kids.

Speaker 4 They'll love the animals.

Speaker 4 Bunch of chickens. They have fresh eggs in the morning.
It's awesome. It's like the best.
Like, look, at this point, professionally and like personally, we've done a bunch of different stuff.

Speaker 4 We've been, when I used to work in entertainment, you're like, okay, you go to the Oscars, you go do Super Bowls, like you've done all these things.

Speaker 4 And then I feel like as I get older, I want to do less and less and less and like go to the middle of nowhere and talk to no one. So have you been able to do less?

Speaker 1 Like this, I actually am very curious about.

Speaker 1 We talk about it every now and then, allude to it. Like someday we won't.
Someday everything ends.

Speaker 4 I look at it like this. As long as I have opportunities to stay employed, I want to stay employed as long as I can because I love my job.
Like it doesn't feel like work, right?

Speaker 4 I'm sure you guys feel exactly the same way. So hence why I'm very fortunate that Fox lets me also work at Amazon.
Amazon lets me work at Fox. I get to do the podcast.

Speaker 4 I started an interior design company during COVID.

Speaker 4 I just like to do a lot of things if the opportunities are there, but I also know that those will go away one day. So then at that point, I'll just disappear on the ranch.
And

Speaker 4 I always think about it like this. Like if you're on the bowl, stay on until that thing bucks you and then be like peace

Speaker 2 as long as people are still giving you money to do an insane job that you love why would I be like

Speaker 4 100% and then at the end of the day you're like I'm just gonna go hang out with the animals now see you bye humans that's a great you you set it up perfectly but this is why I have so much respect for people like Barry Sanders or an Andrew Luck who like walked away from a game where they could make so much money especially you know nowadays with Andrew Luck you know more recent I know the paychecks weren't the same for Barry back in the day but like the guys that walk away from that.

Speaker 4 And I know it's not just about money, but for me right now, it is like paying bills and like stockpiling cash and then disappearing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the problem for us. Like we'll never stop doing this because if we said we're going to retire tomorrow, like Sunday, I'd text PFT and be like, you want to watch some football?

Speaker 1 If I had told you guys

Speaker 4 like 10 years ago, when you're on the set during the union break, which the best union line ever was one of the guys goes, they're like, okay, five minute break.

Speaker 4 He goes, you can't take a five-minute break in six minutes. And I was like, that's the union right there in a nutshell.

Speaker 4 But if I would have told you guys 10 years ago while you were sitting there not spelling the words correctly that you would be here, you wouldn't probably have believed it.

Speaker 1 No, it's been a dream.

Speaker 4 Why have you guys been so successful, do you think?

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 2 I mean, there's a lot to that. A lot of it does have to do with timing.

Speaker 1 I would say luck, yeah.

Speaker 2 A lot of it has to do with timing because we started a podcast before everybody had a podcast.

Speaker 4 There were some. We had a shot at Aaron and I.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was a shot at you. Calm the fuck down.
Again, I love Erin. She's the best

Speaker 2 but yeah like everybody has a podcast now yeah and not there wasn't that much competition to like mainstream sports talk radio mainstream you know television that you watch in the mornings so we kind of were in the right place at the right time yeah and I think we tapped into a way of watching sports that a lot of people really missed which was they're supposed to be fun and you're supposed to be able to make jokes and you're not supposed to take it too seriously and it I think also when we started our production value was like nothing, right?

Speaker 2 And so people liked that. It was refreshing because you don't want to watch people talk about sports wearing a suit in a studio being super professional.

Speaker 2 It's like that's not how people talk about the game.

Speaker 4 But that's also what I like about Amazon and even Fox too, where it's like, yeah, it's

Speaker 4 a little bit more. professional at Fox just because like they are in a studio, but you don't have to wear a tie.
And for Amazon, like it's just Fitz is wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, just being authentically yourself is cool, too.

Speaker 2 And the great thing with like Terry and Jimmy is you can put them in in a suit, but that doesn't mean that they're going to be

Speaker 1 buttoned up and stuff.

Speaker 4 But how have you guys navigated in the cancel culture that we live in? Like, how do you feel like you've been able to sort of dodge these landmines that exist?

Speaker 4 That you're, I feel like this, like people are waiting for you to mess up.

Speaker 4 Back to the aforementioned like a sideline thing, like you do one thing wrong and it's like, it doesn't, I know this all too well.

Speaker 4 Like things don't leave the internet and like really bad shits happen to me. And it's like people

Speaker 4 can still see that.

Speaker 4 And like I was a victim of something really shitty, but like people still take take shots like it's my fault that like my phone got hacked right so it's like there's all these landmines out there that you kind of have to navigate and how have you guys done that with success and not been canceled I think it honestly and people will that we've we've said this many times before and people like oh you guys are just saying this say this but Getting canceled on ESPN was the best thing to happen to us because you guys know my thoughts on all that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we started at this like, you know, progression where we started the show, it got really big, way bigger than we thought, very fast. And then it was like, all right, what's the next step?

Speaker 1 Oh, we got to get a TV show. Then that all comes crumbling down.

Speaker 1 And as disappointed as we were in the moment, we both, and Hank included, had the epiphany of like, our audience will go anywhere for us. Our audience.

Speaker 4 They're coming for you guys. Right.

Speaker 1 They will be here for us. We don't need to go to some other platform.
We don't need to take this step up in like, you know, being on TV or doing something else.

Speaker 1 We can do what we want to do in our world and our audience will back us. And so I think having that, like we almost have like this little island that we can't be touched.

Speaker 1 Obviously, there's things that could touch us. Not saying that like, you know, anyway.
No, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think we put up so many years of content that people have enjoyed and they've been with us for so long that

Speaker 1 we know what we have and we're happy with it and we don't have to try to look for the next best thing.

Speaker 4 Well, that's where you always go. You know, the guys over at Fox have been together for 30 years.
You can consume sports anywhere now, right?

Speaker 4 Your phone, watch a show, don't watch a show, listen to the podcast, but you are coming for the people and investing in people.

Speaker 4 And even we had Dan Patrick on our podcast and just those were the heydays of ESPN because it was about the Bermans. It was about the, you know, rich eyes.
And it was about the individuals.

Speaker 4 And the sports were secondary. And like that shift is now it's like, and that's, you know, everyone has like a changing of the guards with whatever they're doing.

Speaker 4 And I don't know what's going on over there because I don't work there anymore, but I love people. Right.
That's even for me, like with sports teams.

Speaker 4 Like, yes, I have fandom being from Seattle and I root for Seattle teams, but like I still root for individuals if they go somewhere else. Right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And it really does come down to like, there's something very

Speaker 1 freeing about realizing that what you have is awesome and not saying, oh, I need the next thing and the grass is greener and that stuff.

Speaker 4 Except in relationships, I'm always looking for the next best thing. I'm kidding.
Yeah, Steve, I love you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Steve, we love you.

Speaker 2 That's remaining to be seen.

Speaker 1 That's a cute name for Ryan. Just call him Steve.

Speaker 4 You guys really want me to be together with Ryan?

Speaker 1 We'll have a fake wedding. No, it's fine.

Speaker 2 Like when people's dogs get married to each other, you're going to do a fake wedding with Russilla.

Speaker 4 I wish some of my weddings were fake, you know?

Speaker 4 It saved me a lot of money.

Speaker 2 When you say some of my weddings, that's always a fake sign.

Speaker 4 Hey, look, guys, you know, in life, you have to own who you are.

Speaker 4 There's many chapters to my story, and I'm good with all of them.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Does any fan base hate you?

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 Is there one that you like?

Speaker 4 You mean like a city or yeah, that you hear from?

Speaker 4 I don't know how to. I mean, maybe now.
I don't know. I don't think that there's one.
I haven't.

Speaker 1 We can find one for you. Oh, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it.

Speaker 2 What do you think about Dak Prescott?

Speaker 4 Oh, I have no problem with Dak Prescott. I think he's in an unenviable position, but also a great position.
If you're the quarterback for America's team, it comes, the good comes with the bad.

Speaker 4 I don't ever feel sorry for people that are in positions that are

Speaker 4 enviable.

Speaker 2 What do you think about the Bills?

Speaker 4 I love the Bills. Having, like, when we went there last week or two weeks ago, whatever it was, phenomenal.
Like, what a great fucking city.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 4 You're looking for a fish.

Speaker 2 I'm fishing. I'm on a fishing.

Speaker 4 No, I don't think there's a fan base that's like, I have a target on my back. I'm sure that there's a lot of individuals that think I'm annoying, but I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 Do you like read your comments?

Speaker 4 No, I stopped doing that after the bad thing happened to me because it was only going to be whatever. But I think I told you guys this really early on in my career.

Speaker 4 I always have to put that in quotes because I always feel like a dick being like my career.

Speaker 4 Dead Spin, you guys weren't born yet, yeah, wrote an article and said, because I dyed my hair dark.

Speaker 1 I remember that, I remember that, right? We talked about this.

Speaker 4 I didn't want to be a Barbie on the sidelines. Now I'm like, oh God, I'd love to be a Barbie on the sidelines.
I'm going back.

Speaker 4 The uh, I've dyed my hair dark, and they wrote that Carissa Thompson's on a suicidal path to Frumpeville. And I cried, and I was like, Oh my god, that's so mean.

Speaker 4 And then after that, I was like, Well, who cares?

Speaker 1 And then they became the judgers of everyone. Isn't that funny how it works?

Speaker 4 Bored.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the people who judge the most have stuff where in the past where they're like, oh, yeah, I've changed as a person.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, like growing up, my mom was like, you don't like everyone. Why would you think that everyone likes you? I just think that's a good lesson.

Speaker 4 Really early on, it was about if I'm going to get into this industry, be prepared for negative comments.

Speaker 4 Someone's not going to like the way you look or like, uh, not like your hair or not like what you're wearing. Like, who cares?

Speaker 4 As long as I stay employed and the people I work with and the people I work for are good with me, then I don't really care what Joe in the basement thinks. That's smart, though.

Speaker 1 It's hard to get to that point. I struggled with it.
Did you? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 When you start and you read, you know, especially when it's early internet and like it feels like, you know, we would blog and it'd be like 20 comments every blog. So you could read them all.

Speaker 1 And yeah, you definitely see it. And you like, it, you, you see 19 positive comments, one negative, of course.
That's the only one that sticks with you.

Speaker 1 And then you got to slowly get to a point where it's like, listen, there's going to be people who hate me.

Speaker 4 It was right when it is what it is. Twitter came out, and I didn't know how the search button on it worked.
So I put in Carissa Thompson.

Speaker 1 Oh no, never did it.

Speaker 4 And it, you guys, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I tweeted out my name because I didn't know how it worked.

Speaker 4 And so then I came back and everyone's like, cool, is that how you spell your name? And I was like, fuck, that's embarrassing.

Speaker 1 I was like looking up what people were saying about me and it was a tweet.

Speaker 4 And so then that was like really early on. It must have, when did Twitter come out? Like 2004 or something? It was like nine, yeah.

Speaker 1 Nine. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So it was right then. And then after everything bad that happened to me, I was like, I'm not looking at any of this crap anymore.
But yeah, I just, and I, I don't say this arrogantly.

Speaker 4 I just am very comfortable with, you know, that's why I self-deprecate about whether it's the marriage stuff. We're like, if I have this zit on my face or what, I don't really care anymore.

Speaker 4 And not in a bad way. I just think I'm like, at a point, I'm sure you guys are there too, where you're comfortable with who you are.
And that's very liberating. It's very liberating.

Speaker 2 I saw the zit. I was like, she's so brave.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 I am. I'm a hero.
Just like us.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Stars.
They're just like us.

Speaker 4 They're grocery shopping.

Speaker 2 The biggest complaint that we get, which I actually agree with now, is that the cameras that we have are too high.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's gross. Like,

Speaker 1 me and Big Cat are not.

Speaker 2 This face right here.

Speaker 4 I couldn't agree more.

Speaker 2 This face is meant for radio, and my voice is meant for telegraphy.

Speaker 4 How many chins am I getting over here?

Speaker 4 You guys, I'm not interested in seeing 4K, 12K. Like, back up, blur the photo, give me some film.
Like, the best pictures that we have.

Speaker 4 Think about, like, when we looked at our parents' photo albums, they look incredible

Speaker 4 because it's blurry. It's basically a filter now, is like what photographs were back in the day.
I do not want, and back the camera up. Why are we so low?

Speaker 4 Unlike you, who you probably have a great team uh at fox and amazon our team loves to just like if we take a bad picture that's the thumbnail that's the thumbnail yeah they're like wait no you know who does that articles do that why do they pull like a random getty image when you're like mid-conversation or again like i took one picture at a fanatics party like five years ago and you can't go fat and everyone uses it and you're gonna use it right you're like dude i don't look like that anymore i know i had this one no i look fatter but yeah you're stupid i had a wearing like it was like my first headshot when i worked for the colorado rockies and i was in this brown suit and i saved up all my money and bought it at express and i thought i was like killing it that i couldn't get rid of that stupid picture for like 20 years so our guys go worse they actually take pictures of us and then they go in and they photoshop them to make us worse look even worse they do they'll make people work for you yeah dead serious they will hire them they will make us fatter yeah

Speaker 4 they will put our eyes bags under our eyes best though and especially like now in like the filter days or you know editing photos or something and someone's like oh you look great there i'm like yeah because that's not what I look like, and I don't care.

Speaker 4 I don't want to know what I look like anymore. When your phone's like, face not recognized, I'm like, Perfect.
Like, some shit's changed.

Speaker 4 Although, I did, I was doing way too much Botox for a while, and then I was like, I look like a cat. Like, we need to stop with this and bring it down a notch.
My mom goes, What are we doing here?

Speaker 4 Like, that's the thing where you like realize you're like, Yeah, so it's also funny when people just don't understand how age works.

Speaker 1 They'll like see a picture of me from seven years ago. They'd be like, Damn, what happened? I'm like, Seven years, dude.
What do you mean, what happened? Like, seven years, right? Exactly.

Speaker 4 Like, I have three children, seven years, and I'm really rich. My favorite calling coward line was someone said to him, they were like, how do you sleep at night with the things you say?

Speaker 4 And he's like, next to a really hot redhead on a bed full of money. And it's like, I'm good.

Speaker 1 Like, that's how I say that. That's a coward thing to say.
All right. Well, I know you are pressed for time.
This has been awesome.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not. I don't have nothing to say.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So you can say forever. Perfect.
You do the whole show with us.

Speaker 4 No, I will get out of here. I love you guys.
I'm so proud of you. I really am.

Speaker 4 Like, on our way over here with Fitz and Wood, I know you're going to talk to him next, but I was was just saying, I'm good for you guys. Appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Proud of you too.

Speaker 4 And you've done it your way.

Speaker 1 So it's good for you. It's always nice having friends on who like we've known for a very long time and just seeing it.
It's just great. Yeah, I'm really proud of you guys.

Speaker 4 And I will take some of that coffee. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, you get some of the coffee.

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Speaker 1 What night are we going going to go out Super Bowl week in Vegas?

Speaker 4 All of them.

Speaker 1 No, I can't do all of them. I only could do one.

Speaker 4 So we don't have the game this year. So Fox has it two of the three years.
We had it last year and we'll have it next year.

Speaker 4 So this is sort of my free year because I don't actually have to do the broadcast. So I'm down for all of them.

Speaker 1 Wednesday night? Yeah, we'll figure it out.

Speaker 2 Wednesday is usually pretty good. Yeah.
Maybe Thursday too. Maybe Thursday.

Speaker 4 Get a pack of heaters, smoke up Johnny. Real banner year at the Bender household.

Speaker 1 It's just, I can't do Vegas is going to kill me. Actually, New Orleans is going to kill me next year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got to be more disciplined on that one.

Speaker 1 We went to the Final Four in New Orleans a few years ago. The last day we were there, we were there for like six days.
I'm not joking. I took a walk.

Speaker 1 I just walked for seven miles away from the hotel and then seven miles back because I was so bloated and felt so crappy.

Speaker 4 Wait, you get in more trouble in New Orleans than you do in Vegas?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because of the food. Yeah, the drinks too, the hand grenades, and then just

Speaker 1 have side of bumbo with everything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can smoke sigs inside in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Crazy.

Speaker 4 Wait, I'm going to, because Wit's coming in here.

Speaker 4 Wit, of course, being from Louisiana, when we were down there, he ate so much because he went out with David Changs on our show as well, who I don't incredible, you know, vichelin chef and

Speaker 4 has done more in his life than I'll ever do. But him and Witt went out and they ate at every place in town.

Speaker 1 It's like I felt

Speaker 1 like I would start every day and be like, oh, yeah, why wouldn't I have five beignets with my coffee? You look great. No, I don't, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 Carissa, you're the best. Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Thank you. Thank you for coming on.

Speaker 1 Thank you for stopping by.

Speaker 4 Thanks for, and by the way, next podcast we're doing, the fourth one or fifth one, depending on how we're counting this thing, we'll do it at the ranch.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah, I'm in.

Speaker 4 I'm not kidding. I'll get your ass up on my horse.
We'll chase some, you know, steer around and have a time.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it someone on a horse.
I'll just pet the dogs. I've been on a horse one time.

Speaker 1 I love it. Feet on the ground.

Speaker 2 I'm stealing the horse too.

Speaker 1 All right. Bye, guys.

Speaker 4 Love you.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is the manager of the Texas Rangers who just won the World Series, his fourth World Series.
Some are saying maybe the greatest manager in MLB history.

Speaker 1 We can maybe have that debate. It is Bruce Boce.

Speaker 1 I want to start by saying

Speaker 1 we just heard you talking to someone from your team, IT team. They called you Skip.
Can we call you Skip?

Speaker 1 please please okay that worked for me okay great all right well skip how's it uh you know the dust has settled you have it a couple weeks four fourth world series where does this rank how are you feeling like in terms of oh my gosh we just did that like no one expected us to win this thing and we just won a world series by winning every game on the road yeah well i'll first uh begin with uh i mean it was a hell of a ride

Speaker 7 especially what these guys end up doing you know winning 11 consecutive games on the road against the teams that we had to play. So, you know, they're all special and they're special in their own way.

Speaker 7 But this one,

Speaker 7 you know, we did deal with a lot. And for this to happen,

Speaker 7 it really hasn't sunk in, to be honest. It happened so fast and you have to parade.
And I just drove to Nashville. It was about a 10-hour drive from Dallas.
So

Speaker 7 I'm being humbled here right now. I got my wife telling me to take the trash out and I got grandkids on me.
So

Speaker 7 right now I'm just chilling, relaxing.

Speaker 7 But at some point this winter, I'm sure I'll reflect and just think how blessed I am for this to happen, especially the first year. There's so many people to thank for this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, for sure, Skip.

Speaker 2 Question about coming back to Major League Baseball. So, you were in Nashville, you were enjoying life.
Like you said, your grandchildren hanging out, thought you were retired.

Speaker 2 You get a call to come back and manage again.

Speaker 2 Now, you were only out for a few years, but was there anything that changed about Major league baseball and about managing in those short years that you were out that took you a couple weeks maybe a month or two get used to uh a new way of doing things

Speaker 7 well i i'll say this again yeah it changed quite a bit i think you look at the rules um this was the first time i had to deal with the three batter minimum you know initially i wasn't a big fan of it but it's something you get used to

Speaker 7 um i always tried to i guess get the best matchup I could. And so when you have a three batter pocket there, then the strategy is a little bit different.

Speaker 7 But the biggest is the clock, no question about it. And I think it has really worked out well.
I love it personally. It keeps the game moving, action.
They took the shift away.

Speaker 7 So I think it's a better game, no doubt about it.

Speaker 7 They're shorter, they're crisper.

Speaker 7 It allows you to play your guys more. They don't need the days off like they used to.
There was times when games would be over four or four and a half hours.

Speaker 7 You know, nobody wants to see that, you know, when the game's dragging along. So I think it's been good for everybody.
So I say that's a biggest difference.

Speaker 7 Now, as far as the players and everything, you know, there's some things that just won't change.

Speaker 7 Our guys, I mean, they're great players. They're competitive.

Speaker 7 You know, that

Speaker 7 part will never change. The fundamentals, you know, that's never going to change in our game.
So you still have to do that. And they sure, they talk about analytics.

Speaker 7 And, you know, that was part of the game when I first started managing. And I'll go back to 1995.
Now, granted, I was using color pencils and charting out where they hit the ball and everything.

Speaker 1 So it's a little bit different now.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 7 so it really hasn't changed as much, except for the better, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
All right. So I have a question about this run because it was an incredible run.
Like I mentioned off the top, won every road game out there.

Speaker 1 I'm dumb. Okay.
So Jose Altuve hits that home run against you guys in game five. I was like, the Rangers are dead.
Dead man walking. No chance to go back to Houston and win both these games.

Speaker 1 What did you say to the guys? Or was there a speech or was it just, I trust these guys. I know that we're not dead.

Speaker 1 Because from the outside looking at, I was like, you can't come back from that where you were about to take a 3-2 lead and now you have to win two games in Houston.

Speaker 7 I'll be honest. I didn't say anything.
I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be different than all the other times that we took a gut punch.

Speaker 7 I mean, these guys just kept getting up all year. And you talk about the injuries, every team deals with them.
But, you know, with the Grom and guys going down, they just kept focusing forward.

Speaker 7 But, you know, I'll go back to Seattle when we lost that last game there. If we won one more game there, we win our division.
We go home. We have five days off.

Speaker 7 But now we got to go to Tampa and beat those guys in their home ballpark. And didn't phase these guys.
They went to Baltimore, didn't phase them.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 7 I really thought the best thing for this club right now, hey, just keep doing what we're doing. That's bounced back.
I mean, they kept getting up after getting knocked down so many times.

Speaker 7 And it was an

Speaker 7 extreme series, obviously, with, you know, both teams winning all road games.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 7 these guys did it all year. And it's because we had men on the team and they were able to handle it.

Speaker 1 I love it. Dogs.
We had men. Dogs.

Speaker 7 We had a bunch of dudes on the team yeah when they sold you to come back to and uh manage the rangers um i imagine that there were some conversations about the plan that was in place to be competitive i don't know if that plan included uh winning a world series in year one that probably would have been a lofty and ambitious goal for you but what how how quickly did you expect to compete i'll be honest when i was talking to chris young our general manager and he was talking about his vision and our owner ray davis is talking about his commitment he was going to go out and get some starting pitching uh like chris wanted and he was going to give us the the tools that we needed uh i i really had a good feeling about this club now i go to spring training and i i as you mentioned uh we had dudes out there oh my goodness this this is a talented ball club with a really good pitching staff and that just sent a sense of confidence all over these guys so now to say we're going to win the world series you know that's that's hard to say but I really thought that we would have a shot at it by getting to the postseason.

Speaker 7 I really felt this club doesn't get to the postseason. I'm going to be shocked.
And that's how good I thought they were. So

Speaker 7 I just looked at, you know, what they had in place. When you have a Segier and Simeon up the middle, Jonah Hine coming into his own,

Speaker 7 Garcia, I mean, I mean, what a dude this guy is. And then you look at the young guys, Tavaris and Young.

Speaker 7 It just was loaded with talent. So I wasn't surprised that we got there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So one guy I wanted to ask about specifically, Nathan Avaldi, who it feels like he doesn't get enough credit for just being that like big hoss that you can throw out there

Speaker 1 in a series and be like, he will shut them down. He'll give us innings.
He did it obviously with the Red Sox. He did it again with the Rangers, but like he never gets talked about that way.

Speaker 1 What is it when he's out there? Are you at a certain level of calm? Like, I just know he's going to go out and shove. Like, that's just,

Speaker 1 he's got those, like, he's just, he's just nails, like, big moments he is there for.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 7 And I think he will talk about them now.

Speaker 7 You know, part of our game, you got to have talent, but it's performing under pressure. And we couldn't have had a better guy out there on the mound needing to win one more game.

Speaker 7 I compare him to a guy we had in 2014, Madison Pop Gardner. Yes.
You know, certain players, you know, those guys.

Speaker 7 they just get better in the moment in the big moment i'm talking about so uh we had all the confidence with him. And you look at the game that he pitched.

Speaker 7 I mean, he was in trouble. It seemed like every inning, first four innings, but, you know, he just has the calmness and the confidence about him.
And he just, he, he just nails it for you out there.

Speaker 7 So he just.

Speaker 7 is a guy that I think is going to go down as one of the greatest postseason performers when you look at what he's done. And you can talk about that game he had in LA.
That was amazing.

Speaker 7 But, you know, a game like that, I think, does so much for a player. It's like, hey, I've done it.
I could do it again. But he just has that maniacal focus you love every game.

Speaker 7 But in that postseason, he ramps it up even more.

Speaker 1 I love it. Those are the type of players you just love watching because like it doesn't matter what their regular season is.
You know, when the postseason comes along, they're going to have it.

Speaker 1 Bumgarner's a great, you know, he was that stretch that he had with you guys and the Giants, it felt like he was the most automatic thing. And it was just something nasty about it.

Speaker 7 Whereas like when he's on the mound, he takes it personally and he's just never going to get off the mound he's going to get outs and that's what he's going to do for his team you know i had a great seat watching it and uh they are they're you appreciate you know not just their talent but you know the makeup of these guys uh because there's i mean there's a lot of stake the pressure and uh these guys thrive on it they're better that that's what separates them from the average player so we were uh lucky when we signed nate i knew that uh and getting to know him i mean what a great teammate too you know you hear that a lot but he's off the chart with that and he's always pulling for the guys but he's the guy that you know he wants he wants the ball out there you know not just to win but he he's doing it and he has a cause I'm talking about he wants to do it for his teammates and so we're lucky to have him healthy because we lost him for a while and we were a different team without him but when we got him back i think the other starters uh feed off him too yeah what about yourself what about if you were to self-scout yourself or Or I guess a different way to ask it would be what would your players say about you

Speaker 2 that's different during the postseason as opposed to the regular season? Because I think you are the best postseason manager of all time.

Speaker 2 If you just look at the numbers, like you've done very well for yourself. So do you change at all in the postseason or is it the same old, same old stay consistent throughout the year?

Speaker 7 You know what? I think the players would say that.

Speaker 7 I'm consistent. I hope they do.
I hope they don't say, hey, the manager was panicking over there.

Speaker 7 But I do things different. And they were good with it.

Speaker 7 We moved the order around, hit young eighth, dropped low down. And these guys were all in.
They didn't care who did it, how we did it. They just wanted to do it.
And so they were good with that.

Speaker 7 They were good with me. I didn't have to sit down with each one of them and say, hey, this is why we're doing it.

Speaker 7 So I think I had some trust from them. But I think more than anything, they said, no, he's got the same calmness that he has during the season.
That's what I'm hoping they would say. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 The dumb question here, but I'm dying to know it. Obviously, postseason is different, but regular season, how often do you think you get bored watching baseball? There's a lot of games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where you're just like, damn, this game is kind of boring.

Speaker 1 Or your mind wanders. Yeah, your mind wanders.

Speaker 7 Boring may be a little strong, but I will say there are games.

Speaker 1 You know, we

Speaker 7 were a club that could blow out teams. So, you know, that's going to change the game.
You know, you're. you're actually hoping it gets over, to be honest.
You don't want to pummel somebody too bad.

Speaker 7 Or we've been on the other end. And that's the same way.
Now,

Speaker 7 back when I was with the Giants, you know, what we were called

Speaker 7 the team with torture. That's every game was a one-round ball game.
Yeah. This was a little, you know, just a different brand of baseball.
And so we had quite a few of those games.

Speaker 7 I probably used more position players pitching this year than I've used in my whole career. And that's where the games change a little bit.
So, yeah, I'll be honest.

Speaker 7 Those are games you're hoping that win pretty quick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, board might be the wrong word, but like, do you you ever catch yourself in the middle, you know, like say the middle of July, you're on the road and you're like, you kind of snap to and you're like, wait, I haven't really been paying attention to the last half inning.

Speaker 1 Like, whoa, I should probably start watching a little more.

Speaker 7 Yeah, ah, man, I, I, I can't say that,

Speaker 7 you know, because I, I always have a fear of getting surprised. Yeah, that's my thing.
You know, I talked about with the players, be prepared, whatever. And this game will humble you, man.

Speaker 7 As soon as you drop your guard, something's going to happen. And I've been there, and so I

Speaker 7 try not to doze off too long.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a good answer. That's probably why you're one of the best managers of all time, and I would be terrible at it.

Speaker 2 I got another dumb question for you. So one thing I love about baseball, besides the new big bases, the big bases are really nice.
I'm sure you'll agree with that. They're slightly bigger.

Speaker 2 But from the managing perspective, it's the only sport where the leader of the team gets to wear the uniform on the field. So you wear the baseball pants, you put those on, you put the jersey on.

Speaker 2 I would love to see it in the NBA if like Tom Thibodeau has to put on like an actual jersey to go out there to coach the game.

Speaker 2 Do you like getting dressed up in the pants or would you prefer to wear, I don't know, like some athletic shorts or some

Speaker 1 like a tracksuit before a game?

Speaker 7 That's a good one. Yeah, you know what? None of I haven't really thought about it, but it wouldn't be a bad idea.
Wear a sweatsuit or something, you know, just a little more casual.

Speaker 7 But no, actually, I like putting uniform on. Actually, for years,

Speaker 7 first couple of years, I still put spikes on i like that yeah concrete dugout so you know there's something about putting that uniform on it it is special and now there's so many of them and my biggest uh

Speaker 7 worry on the days I'm gonna walk out with their own uniform. They got so many different ones.
And so my office is separate from the clubhouse.

Speaker 7 So I got to walk in there just to see what union we're wearing that day.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you also are known for having maybe the biggest head in baseball.
And I don't say that as an ego thing. I'm literally saying you have the biggest head.
More brains.

Speaker 1 What size head do you have?

Speaker 7 Normally I'm an eight and an eighth, but some hats I wear eight and a quarter. If you notice, I think it snuck up on MLB again during the postseason.

Speaker 7 When you win, when you clinch each round, they break up the hats for you. And none of them fit.
They look like a beanie on my head. And when I go back and look at it, that's the dumbest look.

Speaker 7 I look like Domer Pyle running around there with this big head. So, uh yeah that's uh

Speaker 7 that's kind of my i guess my claim to fame this big head and back when i played you know that was really abnormal so they had a special order my helmets and hats and uh sometimes i'd take a while and you know i wasn't a good player so i got moved around a lot played five years of winter ball where that hat that helmet had to go with me

Speaker 7 and so it had about 20 coats of paint on it.

Speaker 1 Do you think there was ever a front office that was like thinking about signing you and they're like, but we're going to have to get a new helmet and like hats? Like, this isn't worth it.

Speaker 7 No, it's the clubbies that panic.

Speaker 7 They're in full panic when I show up. Oh, no.
And especially at the press conference, you know, they need a little bit of time of time to get a hat so I can wear it at the press conference.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it makes you smarter. It means you got more brains in there.
So I think it's an advantage.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I wish. I wish that was the case.

Speaker 7 There's a couple of parking spaces in there, trust me.

Speaker 2 There was one that I saw. So the hat was hanging on by dear life in the celebration.
I think when you get a snapback, do you go with the last button on it, or is it the last two buttons that you use?

Speaker 7 Well, I try to go with the last button, and it looks so bad, and then I just unbutton. That's the best way to go when it doesn't fit, and just kind of lay it on the head.

Speaker 7 And, you know, eventually it's getting to the side and everything. Like it said, now you're looking like Gomer Pyle, you walk around around.
You guys are too young to know who that is.

Speaker 1 I don't know. No, we know Gomer Pile,

Speaker 1 for sure. Come on.
We know that. We know our references.

Speaker 1 One thing we love about managers when they get kicked out of a game,

Speaker 1 has there been times when you're like, I have to get kicked out to fire up my team? Like,

Speaker 1 I'm not even mad about anything, but I got to use an excuse to get the guys riled up.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to go, or maybe even a time where you're like, I kind of want to sit in my office, air conditioning, watch the rest of the game in here.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no,

Speaker 7 you're right on both.

Speaker 7 There's times, yeah, you got to go out there, I think, when things are getting stagnant. and, you know, they need, you know, to know that, you know, you're passionate about the game.

Speaker 7 But there's some games there where, as you mentioned earlier, they get a little long.

Speaker 7 And so you're looking for that window where you can go out there and just give them the business and go to the office and watch the rest of it.

Speaker 1 What's your, have you ever done the dirt on the on the home plate move? That's my favorite.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, I did that early. I did that 95, 96 a few times.
I love that too, to be honest. Oral Weaver was the best.

Speaker 7 No, that was one of my favorites. But I don't move around quite as well now.
So I'm afraid I'll go down kicking dirt.

Speaker 1 It's just such a hilarious concept to be like, I'm going to make you clean. And then the ump usually tells the catcher they have to clean it.
And it's just the best.

Speaker 1 Like the entire interaction is so funny.

Speaker 7 All right, right.

Speaker 7 You know, that part of the game's kind of left us, to be honest. I mean, it's still happening, but really the only argument now is balls and strikes.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, you to, you know, just replay and or review it. And so it's, it's a little, it's a little different game as far as that.
And I know that's an entertaining part of the game.

Speaker 7 I'm not the best at my arguing. I need to work on that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 7 it's a great part of the game. I loved it when the umpires went out there.

Speaker 1 Speaking of review real quick,

Speaker 1 I'm so fascinated by this because every player that ever has like a bang bang play thinks that they made the play and they immediately tell the manager hey go look at it do you have a rule with some of your guys because you know that they're just not like they never are right like hey look i you think you caught that but i like you think you catch everything right right you know that reminds me of uh steve finley great player i had center fielder and uh he you know he was always safe and he got me thrown out of more games this is back when you could review it and uh geez i don't know what he cost me but uh you know back then i think it was 250 bucks every time you get thrown out.

Speaker 7 But, you know, they add up. And, but now with the review, it doesn't matter if they do that.
You just look at it.

Speaker 7 Now, where it's going to come into play, and I think we believe baseball is going to get it, Triple A, that challenge system on balls and strikes. Yeah.
You get three. And

Speaker 7 same thing what you're talking about with the players at the plate. Every strike they call is not a strike.

Speaker 7 So that's going to be the tough one. You got to tell the players if it does happen.
Hey, we can't burn these up on you all three. So, you know, you got to be positive on this because

Speaker 7 that's more of a case where you got to challenge right then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the first batter of every game is going to be like use all three challenges. I was right.
Yeah. You're right.

Speaker 2 There was actually a specific game this year. It was on September, I think, 20th.
It was against the Red Sox where you got ejected.

Speaker 2 And the day before, I believe you told your team or you made a public statement to the effect of we need to be more locked in at the plate.

Speaker 2 And then the next game, you get kicked out for arguing balls and strikes, showing your guys that you're locked in at the plate from the dugout. That's how locked in you are as the manager.

Speaker 2 So you get kicked out. They go on to win that game and your team rallies behind you a little bit.
Would you say that that was the best ejection of your career?

Speaker 7 I mean, you never know, you know, if it made a difference or not, but, you know, you certainly feel better when.

Speaker 7 when that happens and they do bounce back and you're hoping, well, maybe that did supply some kind of spark, uh you know to get them going again because it's a long season man it's 162 games and some of these games you're going to go out there flat so you got to do what you can to get things going and and if you go out there you get thrown out come back and win yeah i'll be honest it's a pretty good feeling for a manager yeah um

Speaker 1 so one of our favorite players who you manage tim linsecombe when you when he came up and you're managing him were you like how is this possible How is this guy throwing like this?

Speaker 1 He's so small and like he's just a freak. That's his nickname.

Speaker 1 What were your thoughts when you saw Tim Linscum for the first time? And you're like, this is something like I've never seen before?

Speaker 7 Yeah, no.

Speaker 7 When first time I saw him was my first year with San Francisco in 2007.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 opening day of spring training.

Speaker 7 We go out on the field and Dave Regetti, my pitching coach, says, by the way, look over there. Look at this little scrawny kid.
He probably weighed 140 pounds. And I'm serious.
I mean, he was small.

Speaker 7 He goes, that's your number one pick. You know,

Speaker 7 last year, I said, you're kidding me.

Speaker 7 And I looked at him and, you know, after about two throws, he was winging this thing. It had to be close to 100 miles an hour.
We put him in a game. I mean, we used him that spring.

Speaker 7 And I said, this is incredible what this kid's doing. I mean, you're talking about doing everything just right, you know, as far as,

Speaker 7 you know, having that torque when you're throwing.

Speaker 7 He was just,

Speaker 7 as you said, he's just a freak. And I was still amazed.

Speaker 7 And I will say this, after we just won, you know, I've been trying to get a hold of Timmy the last couple of years, and he sent me a really nice text. He's like my kid.

Speaker 7 That's how much I love this kid. But I'm still amazed at things in this game.
And he is one of the more incredible talents that I've had in all my years.

Speaker 7 He's right up there at the top.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was so much fun to watch him pitch.

Speaker 2 If you're dealing with a personality, I don't know if Tim would be like this. I don't know what he was like during games, but Madison Bumgarter certainly would come to mind.

Speaker 2 If you're the manager and you go out there and you're going to take the guy out, and they give you the look, like, don't take me out of this game. Have you ever been talked out of taking manager out

Speaker 2 or taking a pitcher out?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think a couple times.

Speaker 7 You know,

Speaker 7 I didn't this year like I normally do, where I go out there and check on him just to look in his eyes, whatever.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 7 Madison was one of them. I mean, he didn't, he never wanted to come out of the game.
And so there were times when he would be honest.

Speaker 7 He goes, listen, I know I can get this guy or next two guys, and then I'm good. So I'd leave him in.
And

Speaker 7 shoot, even Chris Young, our general manager, he was telling a story

Speaker 7 back in the postseason

Speaker 7 2006 when he was pitching against the Cardinals. He said, You know, you went out there, I thought I was coming out of the game, and you left me in.

Speaker 7 But, you know, just looking at him, talking to him, and telling him what I thought, he's, you know, he's the right guy out there. I left him out there.
So, yeah, you're going to have those moments.

Speaker 7 That's the beauty of our game. You know,

Speaker 7 you talk about analytics, you know, that comes in handy, all that stuff. But you just got to have a feel for, I think, for the players who, who, who, you who the man is.
And

Speaker 7 hopefully that helps you make your decision.

Speaker 2 What I love about you is we can tell how much you love the game of baseball. Like, you really love baseball.

Speaker 2 And we've talked to some football coaches that have almost broken down in tears describing how much they love football when they talk about just the game of football.

Speaker 2 Can you just talk about the game of baseball and why you love it?

Speaker 7 Gosh, I go back to when I was a kid. I never forget.
My dad, I'm the son of a sergeant major that, you know, we moved every three years. And he's the one that got me playing baseball.

Speaker 7 But he got stationed at the Pentagon, so he took me to watch the Washington Senators play. You know, this is back in the late 60s.
And

Speaker 7 first time I saw the field like a lot of kids, I went, oh my goodness, I had Frank Howard, who unfortunately just passed,

Speaker 7 who ended up being a coach for me back when I was with the Mets for a little bit. And

Speaker 7 that's all I wanted to do.

Speaker 7 All day, I just played baseball. And then when

Speaker 7 my career ended as a backup catcher,

Speaker 7 I knew that I wouldn't stay in the game. I didn't know really what role.

Speaker 7 But once I started managing, I said, man, this is what I should be doing. And I never thought.
that time I'd manage in major leagues. I had the manager of a major league club on such a high pedestal.

Speaker 7 I would have been happy with managing my leagues my whole life. That's how much I loved it.

Speaker 7 you know, it just, it just is in me. And, and my wife said the same thing when I came back this year.
She goes, I knew he's going to go back. You know, he'd be watching the games and making comments.

Speaker 7 And I knew how much he missed it.

Speaker 7 And, and, uh, sure enough, you know, after I tried to help the French team and, you know, helped them qualify for the WBC, I knew, you know, if I ever had a chance that I would come back and manage.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That's, I mean, that's great.

Speaker 1 You can tell, like PFT said, it just comes across how much you love the game. A couple last questions.
What's the hardest thing about managing a baseball team that people, that fans like us get wrong?

Speaker 1 Where it's like, you don't understand this part of the job that is more difficult than maybe average fan understands?

Speaker 1 Because from where we're sitting, being a baseball manager is the best job in the world because you get to just, you know, hang out with the boys, make a couple calls here and there.

Speaker 1 It feels like a good time, but what is the hardest part that we miss?

Speaker 7 well that is the best time i mean that's what we all love to do is when a game starts it's it's before the game there's no getting around especially in the postseason uh you know your obligations uh

Speaker 7 to you know talking to the media um you you really don't get as much time with the team as you would like because you got to do uh you know the network guys uh

Speaker 7 Fox, they would come in and then, of course, the radio guys.

Speaker 7 And then you have your local media, then have the local radio and then you got to go in the room and and address the national media so you're running the gauntlet for over an hour uh dealing with all your uh media responsibilities and and so that's that's the toughest part i think because you you you know you you want to spend time with the guys you want to get out on the field which it's early don't get me wrong you're getting on the field but there's no um there's there's not a lot of free time and so that's that's one of the toughest things And the other one I'll say is at the end of spring training.

Speaker 7 Spring training could be my favorite time when it starts. You know, you're getting with the guys, you're having a great time and getting back on the field and, you know, just

Speaker 7 getting to know everybody, the new players. At the end of spring training, those lats cuts are horrible.
They're the worst. I was one of those guys.
I know what they're going through.

Speaker 7 You think about it, it's a big difference. I know what minimum salary is, $750,000, whatever, versus going down to Triple A, you know, making 40 or 50.

Speaker 7 So it's, you know, it's tough call for these kids. And I understand it.
So that's the worst part of it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. It seems like the media part would be pretty challenging because you've got to do an hour worth of media for different people.

Speaker 2 And then you have to figure out different ways to say the exact same thing to every person that you talk to, right?

Speaker 7 Right, right. Yeah.
Yeah, no, it is. You do, because you do get asked the same question so many times.
So, but hey, it's your job.

Speaker 7 you understand it uh you know that's this part of why you know we do what we do i guess uh we know it's it comes with the job because somebody's going to do it and anytime you can take it off the players that's our job and so you know that's what i try to do hopefully we're the first people to ask you if you get bored

Speaker 1 do you get to eat during games you ever you ever have like a hot dog during a game it's like i said it's a it's a grind it's a grind yeah do you get to eat pft was wondering if you get to eat during games.

Speaker 1 Do you just sneak one?

Speaker 7 I've never eaten during a game. I've seen a couple managers do it.
I don't, no, I don't, but uh, no, I

Speaker 7 uh, I tell you what, the food is unbelievable, guys. You, you guys need to come by a clubhouse.
I'll show you. It's like a five-star restaurant how these guys eat now.

Speaker 7 Back in, you know, when I came up, you know, you got a bowl of chips and maybe a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Now, you have four or five chefs in there, shrimp, steak, chicken, all this.

Speaker 7 It's unbelievable how well these guys eat.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 but you trade it all for the coffee with the greenies in it.

Speaker 1 That's a little different than today. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had one last question: Roback question: RHOBACK.com. Use promo code TAKE 20% off your first purchase.
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Speaker 1 Baseball, the sound of baseball is the best. So tell me, in your years of being in the game, managing, playing,

Speaker 1 who had the best sound off the bat?

Speaker 7 Ooh, and that's a good one.

Speaker 7 Tell you what,

Speaker 7 Adolis Garcia,

Speaker 7 that's pretty good. You know, Seeger, he's right up there too.
When you're hitting, you know, coming off the bat, 115 plus,

Speaker 7 that's good. Now, Sheffield, I coached third when Sheffield was with San Diego.
This is back, what, 93, 94. And, oh, my goodness, the sound of coming off his bat, it's just different.

Speaker 7 And, you know, those guys, the elite players,

Speaker 7 you can tell when that ball's hit who's hit it sometimes.

Speaker 2 That's dangerous, too, to be coaching third base when Gary Sheffield's. That's the worst.

Speaker 7 I'm not the quickest guy either.

Speaker 7 And I'm a big guy, so I'm a pretty good target.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 As a third base coach, were there ever any situations where a guy's rounding second, he's coming at you, and you just have no idea whether or not to send him. You just decide,

Speaker 2 screw it, I'm going to send him. Like, it seems like that's a split second choice.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah, no, I tell you, there's nothing worse, too. You get the guy throwing about 20 by 20 feet.
I got to tell you a quick story of Larry Walker.

Speaker 7 Larry's from Canada. I mean,

Speaker 7 unbelievable instincts in the game, base running, and just had a cannon for an arm. He's in right field and base hit the right field and our base runners coming around.

Speaker 7 And I'm not going to challenge him. I mean, he is like a line drive, one hopper.
He knew it. So instead of coming up throwing home, he came up and threw right to third base.

Speaker 7 Meanwhile, I let the runner come around third base and the ball got there before he even had a chance to start to get back. That's probably my most embarrassing time on the field.

Speaker 1 Yeah, being third base coach, there's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2 First base would be the best. Yeah.
First base, you take their batting glove from them, pat him on the ass. Nice, nice job.
Good eye. I like the way you waited for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 back, back. Third base coach, I would suck so bad because I'd be like, well, what if the throw's bad? So I'd send everyone, but make them make a throw.
Just get all my guys thrown out.

Speaker 1 But that's why

Speaker 1 you're the best. So, skip, this has been awesome.
We'll take you up on it. Maybe when you're in Chicago this summer, you come in the studio, bring some of the guys.
We'd love to meet you in person.

Speaker 1 And congrats again. Incredible.

Speaker 1 Four World Series.

Speaker 1 The last five times you've been in the playoffs, you've won a World World Series four out of five of them. The only time being the Cubs, no big deal.

Speaker 1 But yeah, congrats. You're a legend.

Speaker 7 I appreciate that, guys. I enjoyed my time here with you.
Thanks a lot.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. Thanks, Kip.

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Speaker 1 Experian.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, let's do it. Guys on chicks.
Give it to us. Reading.

Speaker 1 You're a great reader.

Speaker 5 Hey there, lottery ball winner Hank and everyone else.

Speaker 1 Ah, that's bullshit.

Speaker 5 My husband and I have been married for almost five months. I recently just learned that he records his farts on Snapchat and saves them in his memories to show his other guy friends.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 I'm a little concerned. I'm now just finding out about this.
Is this normal guy behavior?

Speaker 1 Do I need to be worried?

Speaker 2 No, that's exactly. Like, if you were to do a hierarchy of things that you would want your husband to be posting on Snapchat, this should be number one.
That rules.

Speaker 6 I'm in a Snapchat group that's called OnlyFarts.

Speaker 1 Only. Yes.
Like, literally. Can you add me?

Speaker 1 I don't have Snapchat. Can you add me?

Speaker 6 Well, that would be no, but if you post anything but a fart in the chat, then you get kicked out of the chat.

Speaker 1 We should do Twitter spaces where it's just dudes farting or we tap guys in and then they hold it up to their ass and fart you wait max can you can you next time you get one can you can you call me i think there's some saved i could i could probably hit me with one hit me with one let me i'm pulling it up all right i love it only farts

Speaker 1 that fucking rules

Speaker 6 wait oh also the guy who sent this is the kiss guy oh

Speaker 1 that guy does it all. Yeah, he's a dual threat.
Yep. Kisses and he farts.
What more do you need?

Speaker 1 All right, next one.

Speaker 5 Hey, boys, go birds.

Speaker 5 Our son is seven months old and named James, but nicknamed Jimmer after my husband's great uncle Jimmer.

Speaker 5 My husband started calling the baby Jim Ursai a few months ago and now just calls him Ursay, which he responds to.

Speaker 5 We're both fans of the show, but I don't know how much Jim Ursa, I don't know much about Jim Ursae other than what you guys talk about. Is it okay to call our firstborn son this?

Speaker 5 And what should I know about my son's new namesake, Jim Ursa?

Speaker 1 Oh, let's not do that.

Speaker 2 He's a great guy.

Speaker 2 Solid owner. I think everybody in Indy loves him.
The one thing you can say about Jim Ursa is that he successfully avoided hiring Josh McDaniels by taking an hour-long shit in his bathroom.

Speaker 1 Don't let your kid drive.

Speaker 1 That would be the case. But yeah, you're screwed.
Once a nickname comes, it's there. Although, I feel like the nickname, there's like waves to it.

Speaker 1 Like, it's obviously what your parents call you, but then you'll get a nickname maybe like in like elementary school and then maybe get another one in college.

Speaker 1 So you can just ride it out and maybe it will be something different. But Ursai is a great nickname.

Speaker 2 It is a really good nickname, yeah.

Speaker 2 What's the whale's name? Tokate? Tokute. You could switch up to Tokite? Tokute.

Speaker 2 The beautiful Orca, R.I.P.

Speaker 5 Hey, boys, congrats on the new office.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 5 My boyfriend is a big Steelers fan and is looking forward to them playing the Browns this Sunday. However, I need him to pick me up at the the airport a little over an hour drive.

Speaker 5 My flight lands at 3:45 p.m. Should I let him watch the whole game or should he be a loving boyfriend and pick me up from the airport since we know the Steelers aren't really that good?

Speaker 1 Wait, Uber. Whoa!

Speaker 1 Steelers

Speaker 1 have a good record.

Speaker 2 They said that they're flying into an airport that's over an hour drive away.

Speaker 1 It's probably like a Pittsburgh, West Virginia situation.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's an airport in Pittsburgh, though. I know.
No, I know.

Speaker 1 I'm saying like they might live in West Virginia. Like Pittsburgh airport is an hour away from like a lot of where people live.
That's true.

Speaker 2 That's a long drive. That is.
Uber.

Speaker 1 That's a long drive. Uber.
Also, would Jake like to apologize for saying that the Raiders beat the Steelers?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I screwed that up. Okay.

Speaker 1 I apologize. I just got a tweet.
That's the only reason.

Speaker 2 I think it was like eight tweets from the same guy.

Speaker 1 People are pretty crazy about that stuff if you mess up one thing.

Speaker 2 That's why I always try to follow up later and then they listen through the whole show and they're like, whoops. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's all right.

Speaker 1 I just apologize. It's a good morning when I wake up and I don't have like a hundred tweets about something I fucked up.

Speaker 2 I I think the only good way to compromise on this guy's unchicks would be if he drove to the airport and then you drove him back from the airport so he could watch on his phone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then driving to the airport's in the middle of the game.

Speaker 2 That's the part that he doesn't want to do. He could get there super early.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, he could go to the bar.
Let him get drunk at the airport bar.

Speaker 2 Then he can't drive home.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right, last one. Hey, Big Coffee, the Duke of James Madison, Mr.
Gomez, best in the office, MaxiPad.

Speaker 5 My fiancé likes to listen to sad breakup songs as he works out. I asked him about it and he said it makes him work out harder because of the pain and passion felt in the songs.
Is this normal? No.

Speaker 5 Do other guys do this?

Speaker 2 No, that's kind of weird.

Speaker 5 Unless you just

Speaker 5 broke up.

Speaker 1 Deep-seated shit.

Speaker 2 Maybe he's listening to sad breakup songs to scare him into getting into such good shape that he'll never get broken up with.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's weird. I think there's like a grace period like after a breakup where it's like appropriate.
But I don't think

Speaker 1 it's popping those on all the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you should be a normal guy and play Fort Minor.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fort Minor fucking rocks. I feel like he might be ready to break up with you.

Speaker 5 Or in love with his ex.

Speaker 1 Yes. That's bingo.
Hank got it. Hank knows.
Hank got it. That's real.
That's not fake.

Speaker 1 Probably. Yeah, probably.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 It's up to you to determine. Did you really get the lottery ball? We don't know.
I did. No, that could be fake.
My reality. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
whoa, that could be fake.

Speaker 2 In my reality, you didn't get it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you never got it. That's an illusion.
Oh, that's it. That's an illusion.
Question everything, right? That's an illusion. Question everything.
All right. Let's wrap up.
Numbers.

Speaker 2 18.

Speaker 1 I'll go 71.

Speaker 1 You got this?

Speaker 1 Three. Yeah.
In my reality, I have.

Speaker 2 I'll go eight.

Speaker 2 Shane 10, Pug 37. Pug.

Speaker 1 Pug. Pug.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Speaker 6 Memes, what do you have?

Speaker 1 Three. Max hit 71.

Speaker 1 59.

Speaker 1 59.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 What are you saying, memes? You got a complaint? No, I can't talk to you. Worry about Zach Wills.

Speaker 1 I'm another one.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of pain. Shine it away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of free.

Speaker 1 I'm shining away,

Speaker 1 I'm all coming for you, many ways.

Speaker 1 hold it, hold me.

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 take it,

Speaker 1 take on me.