Charissa Thompson, 4X World Series Champ Bruce Bochy, CFB And The Bills Are In Trouble

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have a lot to get to.

We have a great interview with Carissa Thompson, our friend Carissa, in studio.

The manager of the World Series Texas Rangers, Bruce Bochy, on the show as well.

We are going to talk Monday Night Football. The Bills are in trouble.
We're going to talk some college football. Jaden Daniels for Heisman.
We have Hank's presentation about the lighthouse, which he's been complaining about, crying about, being a baby about. And then we have guys on chicks.
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Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, November 15th, and the Buffalo Bills stink.

They might be dead. They might be dead.
dead let's talk window you got to talk window ready ready what's the window close you think it's officially closed i think i think they're about to jump out of the window it's that was a very bad monday night football game hank why are you taking a picture of me he's doing a tiktok he's doing a tiktok i I didn't mean hey tick tock I had the over under cameras in here I had the over under on when we're gonna get pissed off at Hank during this show at being five and a half minutes into it smash the under on that one you know what Hank is probably one of those please a plant he's a comment section plant yeah because he was trying to derail us because we were actually gonna bash the bills he's one of the guys like you guys never say anything bad about the bills.

You guys are pussies.

You're frauds.

He was trying to get us off our game.

I'm going to do.

Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to start my own tick tock.

It's going to be one second with Henry Lockwood for the entire year.

Yeah.

One second a day.

I like it.

Three hundred sixty five teacher.

Yeah.

Three hundred sixty five days of grumpy Hank.

Grumpy Hank.

OK.

The bills are bad.

They're in trouble.

Sean McDermott bad. Ken Dorsey, fired, which is, we know it.
It's shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. When you start firing offensive coordinators, defensive coordinators in the middle of the season, it usually is not a great sign.
I have a question for you, Big Cat. With Ken Dorsey.
Yeah. Did Ken Dorsey put 12 guys on the field at the end of the game last night? Ken Dorsey also didn't throw the interceptions that Josh Allen has been throwing more of.
He has been bad. I think they need to get an offensive coordinator installed that will tell Josh Allen harder not to turn the ball over.
We know Josh is a gunslinger. I still think he's a very good quarterback.
This season has not been good because if you look at his numbers you can live when Josh Allen is in the high 30s and like the 10 to 15 interception range right now through 10 weeks he's at 19 touchdowns 11 interceptions the interception on first down at the end of the half when he basically gave them three points that That was really, really bad. And you can't win football games when you're careless with the football like Josh Allen's been.
He's been bad. Something is wrong.
Maybe it is the offensive coordinator. I think it also just needs – Josh needs to have like a come-to-Jesus moment of like, hey, I can't be a superhero on every single play.
I have to take care of the football better because you're putting your defense in a bad spot. You're putting your team in a bad spot when you throw those type of interceptions.
I thought the defense didn't play poorly at all last time. No, they played well.
They played pretty well. Broncos had the ball at the 50-yard line every drive.
Yeah, the Broncos lived in between the 30-yard lines for this entire game. So the defense in Buffalo is not the issue.
although it is kind of weird that they put 12 guys on the field for that field goal at the very end uh mcdermott also had you remember he had 12 guys maybe even 13 guys on the field at the end of that vikings game he did that on purpose that they didn't call yeah did that on purpose like was this was this on purpose and hoping that they didn't call it because it was such a short field goal it was i don't know it was it was a comical ending of the game because it was like sean payton was also trying to lose the game by doing using his timeouts and then doing the rush on the field uh fire drill but the biggest takeaway from this game and we'll talk about the broncos in a second because russell wilson actually does look good uh is the bills are broken and they right now i would say almost i don't think they're gonna be in the playoffs i don't think they are either they have a really tough schedule they're five and five now and it feels like everything whatever it was it was you can point back to the 13 seconds you can point back to demar hamlin the bengals game last year in the playoffs but something is very broken and it feels like there's blame to go around a lot of places. Josh being, he's a quarterback.
He gets the blame when they don't win and he gets the blame when he throws bad interceptions. And I think Sean McDermott, who has, he has had some bad moments this year.
The 13 guys on the field, the weird travel to London where the Bills clearly were sleepwalking the first half also Sean McDermott I know this is old school coaching James Cook fumbles on the first play of the game doghouse James Cook I think it was his second fumble uh in his career now he did have some other weird moments because I think it was that was Josh's fault on the handoff then he also fumbled and picked it up, which was the coolest play ever later in the game. Why would you bench your guy who is – they came out in the end of the second quarter and they had a touchdown drive where everything looked great, and it all started because James Cook was running the ball and being explosive and everything fed off that.
You basically sat one of your key parts of your team because he fumbled the ball in the first play it makes no sense it makes no sense coaches coaches have dog houses for running backs they don't have dog houses for quarterbacks or kickers imagine if you're no no imagine if you bench your kicker in game yeah yeah that's what i'm saying or if you if you bench your quarterback because he threw an interception right early in the game it's only running backs get put into the doghouse. It's like, I can't trust this guy.
Well, maybe James Cook has had a significant enough body of evidence to prove that maybe he can hang on to the football for a while. It was like a recurring thing where you fumble.
And granted, running backs don't. It's not like you're running the ball as often as you're passing in most offenses yeah so if you throw one interception every like 35 passes not as big a deal as if uh you fumble once every like 12 carries so i understand that but but james cook is a good player it didn't really make a lot of sense that they were like we're just going to do latavius murray yeah let's let's build our offense in 2023 around latavius he's 33 or how in running back years he's like like 35, but yeah, um, it was, he made some questionable decisions.
I thought that the bills, um, the bills offense would not be this discouraging if they didn't turn the ball over all the time. Like it looks like they've got guys in space.
Sometimes, um, Josh Allen, you could say it's a bad year. You could also point at either the Madden curse or what i think is more likely the room 40 curse ever since josh allen um disgracefully deez nutsed us on these very airwaves in front of children um he hasn't been the same quarterback maybe he needs to apologize for that i'm not sure but josh i i like josh as a person i want him to do well i root for josh every time he plays he's electric to watch when he's playing well.
He has not played well this year. No, he's not played well.
And he has to figure out the turnovers because it feels like it's gotten progressively worse in the last few years. I think he has 71 interceptions since 2018.
And I also think there's a arm strength is a great asset to have, but it also can be a negative when you think you can make every throw all the time I've watched it before with you know Cutler Favre had a little of this where it's like I am my arm is so strong that I don't care what the coverage is and figuring out how to to to maybe take a little off and also say I don't have to make every throw I don't not every not every throw has to be, oh, these guys are covered, but my arm is so strong I can get it in there. That decision-making has to fix because otherwise the Bills are – I mean, again, I don't think they're going to make the playoffs this year, but we're talking long-term now.
Like this is something that he's got to start fixing right now so that he can build on it going into next year. The other thing is Ken Dorsey, I have no problem with Ken Dorsey being fired in the fact that some of the play calling is absolutely tragic.

The fourth and one shotgun, why?

Any team that's in fourth and one and goes shotgun, the OC should be fired right away.

Yeah, I hate that.

You have to get one yard, and you're like, now let's get seven yards.

It's crazy. It's crazy.

I hate that, and it seems like the running backs, they're on their heels.

We'll see you three. If you need five yards, he'll get you three.
Yeah. It feels like they overthink all of these things.
We also now have Stefan Diggs. His brother said, got to get 14 out of there.
It feels like, I mean, we've been on Diva Watch with Stefan, but it is feeling like it's hit a critical point everything feels wrong in Buffalo I feel bad for the people of Buffalo but I think that they everything we're saying they know and they have known for you know the majority of this season that everything is broken and you have to figure out a way to fix it uh because you're paid Josh a lot of money and he's got it and the interceptions. I feel like Josh misses Dayball.
I think they had something really good together. I like Joe Brady, though.
Joe Brady was half of the offensive mind behind Joe Burrow when he was at LSU. He wasn't great in Carolina.
He wasn't, but again, he was in Carolina. Now he's got a new chance.
He's got a new chance. He's got a better quarterback.
I'm excited to see what they do, But, yeah, I don't think that the Bills are going to make the playoffs. I don't think it's going to happen.
Their schedule is a gauntlet now. So that was supposed to be one of their easy wins, especially at home.
And they almost – that's the thing that's frustrating with the Bills. As bad as they have looked, they almost won that game last night.
You know what I mean? Like they go up with a minute left. That's just kind of how they've been living where even in their bad games it's like oh they could win this game they play the jets uh who have their number at eagles at chiefs cowboys at home how many of those are at night that's the big question because this year josh allen has only one seven touchdown well no i guess he has uh what eight touchdowns now and nine interceptions actually none of those None of those four i listed are at night the chargers the following week is a night game that's very good because josh allen this year has turned into kirk cousins in prime time yeah what are you gonna say that makes no sense what those aren't night games one of those games should be a prime time game you think it'll be flex it should be which one in vegas tariko be like let's go.
Chiefs, cowboys not not dolphins jets eagles chiefs cowboys eagles chiefs or cowboys yeah versus the chargers yeah chargers well the network's got to like block certain games so like those are going to be america's game of the week with nance and romo for some of them because they're all 4 p.m starts yeah josh has not been good in prime time this year also the chargers game is

the peacock exclusive game oh oh the cock on the Saturday night yeah um all right other side of this game the Broncos I don't know how it happened but Russell Wilson looks better and and I don't want to say all the way back but he is playing winning football and making plays with his feet and making nice passes and not making the mistakes,

I'm kind of rooting for him because we, ourselves included, all of the media, everyone has spent like a year and a half shitting on him. And what do we love to do as media and as Americans is we love to tear someone down and then be like, you know what? We're rooting for you to come back.
Yeah, but that's what we're doing. it's so fun to shit on russell wilson i know it's so fun and i like doing it uh but yeah he looked good last night and for the last couple weeks he looked good he beat he beat patrick mahomes and josh allen yeah back to back pretty hard to do and now let's see this this would be a two-game winning streak for the broncos when they're up at halftime Before these last two games, the Broncos were 0-10 in their last 10 games where they had a halftime lead.
No, three games. Three games in a row.
It's three games in a row. Three games in a row they've done it.
So it was against the Chiefs and then who else? Packers. The Packers, they had a halftime lead.
Three games in a row after going 0-10 with leads at halftime. It does feel like they might have found something, turned something around.
Russell, to your point, when he's making plays with his feet, he's a completely different player. I think for the last four or five years, Russell got into the mindset of, oh, I'm too valuable to this team.
I don't need to use my feet as much. I don't want to get hurt.
I don't want to take hits, which, yeah, there's a time and a place for that to be little bit more conservative and and to get rid of the ball and to not want to run and avoid some of the linebackers taking clean shots at you but it also makes you a worse quarterback when you are good with your feet and you don't use them at all yeah and so he he was doing that he was taking hits downfield he was scrambling he was avoiding line but he looked good russell wilson actually looked good. Yeah, he's looked good for the majority of this season.
It's funny because I feel like Sean Payton negged him into being good. Yeah.
It's like all the talk has been Sean Payton has already moved on from Russell Wilson. He didn't pick Russell Wilson.
This is going to be – they're going to draft the future of the franchise. Sean Payton is going to be here longsell wilson is gone uh and now i feel like that having that in your relationship where sean payton's like i don't really care about you like you stink at football russell was like no i don't i'm still good he uh he fixed him by neutering him yeah which is just by ignoring dogs yeah he he like took away his balls and said i i'm the big sack in town i could care less here or you're not.
And then you have to prove to me that you're going to be the quarterback. And also- You're not allowed to bring your own trainer into the locker room.
Yes. And you're not allowed to have an office that no one else can go into.
Hank, do you have an office? No. Good.
Mincy has one here. The last thing I had about the Broncos, Patrick Sertan is awesome he completely shut down stefan diggs when he was up against him credit to the broncos because i know there was going to be a fire sale i'm a big believer if you have really good players you should try to keep them and he's a really good player and he's young and try to keep them and also mims is electric as a punt return that was a part of the field position is he had a couple that flipped the field for the broncos that was pretty much it yeah yeah he had he had some nice returns and we would be talking about this game completely differently if they had missed that first field goal and it stood like if i we we still would be saying oh no i would still say the bills are we still would be saying that there's bad things about the bills um would we give russell wilson and the broncos as much that kick goes in? Probably not as much, but it's just like, it's, it's, it's so funny how like one small outcome like that can determine being optimistic about the Broncos future.
Cause I think if you're a Broncos fan, you watch this game and this is a game that you lose every single time for the last two years and you somehow figure out a way to win it. you're feeling good you're feeling really good about yourself this morning but things it was a very

very fine line between winning and losing now granted the bills are definitely broken even if

they had lost that game yes or even if they'd won that game they're definitely broken yes no they're

they're completely broken there's i it's it's a tobacco right now for buffalo and and again they

have the gauntlet coming up i do think that the broncos yeah i mean look i guess they could

Thank you. There's I it's it's a debacle right now for Buffalo.
And again, they have the gauntlet coming up. I do think that the Broncos.
Yeah, I mean, look, I guess they could find a way back into the playoff picture. I don't I'm not going to say they're going to make the playoffs.
They're in the hunt. They've at least they've at least found a way forward.
If Russell Wilson is going to be on the roster next year, I know his contract. There's weird shit where like they have to cut him at a certain point but he he's playing to a level where it's like maybe we can figure out a way to use our assets our picks for something else besides a quarterback yeah i'm gonna defer to florio on the contract stuff he's he's always like right on top of that that's the one thing that mike florio is great at he can like identify a loophole on when you can get rid of a quarterback remember he had derrick carr before anybody else did yeah so Florio do some work on that when could the Broncos potentially move on from Russell Wilson yes um okay let's do some college football talk uh we got a lot of college football to get to is there anything else in the NFL that we missed I was gonna say weirdly enough Sunday Night Football this week is between the two hottest teams in the league Broncos Vikings who would have thought a few weeks ago I would have called Flex of the on that.
Now it's actually going to say, weirdly enough, Sunday Night Football this week is between the two hottest teams in the league, Broncos-Vikings. Who would have thought? A few weeks ago, I would have called Flex of the Year on that.
Now it's actually going to be a good game. Flex of the Year.
What is your Flex of the Year? I'm still looking into it. Do you get more excited about the schedule than the actual games? I think so.
Yeah. It's like looking ahead.
It's crazy. Yeah.
I think that actually is the truth, where you're like, look at this schedule. it's like uh you're like a little kid who like you give them a piece of candy and they don't

want to eat it because I think that actually is the truth, where you're like, look at this schedule. It's like you're like a little kid who you give them a piece of candy

and they don't want to eat it because they like to just have the piece of candy.

Yeah.

I don't want to watch the football.

I just want to know that the football is going to be coming.

Well, I like watching it too, but I also get excited about that.

The schedule is way, yeah.

Jake, can you predict what the highest rated game this year will be

from now until the end of the season?

Starting now?

Yeah, starting now.

I can look into it. I care about ratings.
That's how I judge whether or not a game is good or not. Yeah.
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The story of the season. By the way, how happy do you think Deion is that the Jim Harbaugh thing happened? Very happy.
Becauseember and then the the backlash to losing in october november has been completely erased by the fact that jim harbaugh has sucked up every headline uh jim harbaugh suspended for three games uh by the big 10 hours before uh oh no hours i think they actually were already on the plane to Happy Valley. It was Friday.
It was Friday. He found out via social media.
So did Ward Manuel, who is the AD for Michigan. Jim Harbaugh suspended.
Didn't coach the game on Saturday against Penn State. And Jim Harbaugh went in front of the media yesterday and gave the most Jim Harbaugh quotes of all time.
So he first started by saying Michigan is America's team. He said it's got to be America's team.
America loves a team that beats the odds, beats the adversity, overcomes what the naysayers and the critics, the so-called experts, think. Well, yeah, they do rely on a network of clandestine surveillance to accomplish everything i can see why that would align with the usa the the the adversity is my favorite part of this because it feels like the adversity was created by michigan cut their own leg off yeah look look at look at me just gutting this out on one leg cut your own leg and be like well i i can barely walk this is crazy yeah i i first of all was shocked to see jim harbaugh in front of the media at all because i thought that he died yes i thought he was dead because um after the game when sherrod brown gave his speech i fucking love you man i fucking love you man this is for you jim i for you coach i said it was basically the speech that everyone uh when they're on a bachelor party and they see their college friends or old friends that they haven't seen in a very long time like 12 beers deep sitting around like i fucking love you man i fucking love you so much we should get a house together that was what he did after that game i honestly thought he was dead it looked like rigs leaving pinehurst it was it was surreal it was one of those moments where it's like this is definitely not a cult yeah definitely not a cult um now i i love harbaugh because he does give quotes like this and he puts himself in the most ridiculous scenarios he's the ultimate football guy yeah so the other quote the the biggest one was he had a raspy voice and he said i I'm the iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter.
Something's going on there, but I'll get it worked out. Work it out of my system.
Do some more pushups. Eat an apple.
I'm an iron wall that viruses bash against and shatter. Jim Harbaugh is Dwight Schrute.
I am a vaccine. He is incredible.
Like the virus. Show me a virus.
I will shatter it with my iron wall. I'm going to work out.
I'm going to do so many push-ups that the virus is not going to be able to keep up. You know what? Jim Harbaugh actually thinks that he can make a virus tap.
Yeah, absolutely. He submits them.
Absolutely. I actually thought that the most surprising quote of the press conference was when he was talking about the chickens, because we all know that Harbaugh in the past says that he doesn't eat chicken because chicken is a nervous little bird that gives off nervous energy in fact uh i was i was actually talking to a michigan player yesterday and he said the very first day that harbaugh got to school there he uh he was inspecting the buffet line in there like uh in the cafeteria for the team and he walked up to the chicken because there were chicken cutlets.
And he just stared at it and started scratching his head. And he pulled the nutritionist over and said, hey, what's the deal with the chicken here? They're like, well, it's got a lot of protein.
It's lean. It's good for players after workouts.
And Harbaugh was like, I want you to do a study for me. I want you to investigate because it's a nervous bird.
I want you to look to see if there's been any rise in mental illness in the United States and the consumption of chicken. I want to see if there's a correlation between the two.
So he's been anti-chicken for a long time, eating steak, drinking milk, that whole thing. And then he's done a complete 180 in a stunning turn of events.
Harbaugh actually owns chickens now and he praised them for being low maintenance, high production. And he said, yeah, so he's now like a believer in chickens.
Yeah, he said they lay an egg every 26, 27 hours. They need water.
They need food. I play with them, too.
I let them out in the yard, run around. They're happy to see me.
Yeah, basically was like, oh, these chickens produce something. Yeah, I can win with this.
Roosters are the first ones in the facility every single morning. They don't read the press clippings.
They take a shit on them. Chickens, he said, there was a time I said chicken was a nervous bird.
I was dead wrong. Yeah.
If I can change and you can change, then we all can. What a beautiful moment.
Listen, I know there's a lot of college football fans that hate Michigan at this moment. I get it.
I think Michigan clearly did something wrong. I think they should be suspended or whatever happens in the future, I'm down with.
I love Jim Harbaugh. I will always love Jim Harbaugh.
I will always ride with Jim Harbaugh. He is the funniest guy basically ever in college coaching, and he's a great coach.
I love him, and I do think there's a difference so I thought the Big Ten was wrong for what they did because I don't know how you do an investigation that quickly and then be like all right three games here we go like if you think that Michigan did something wrong I'm gonna I'm gonna most likely agree with you because it seems like there's a lot of smoking guns everywhere. Due process still does matter.
And just like throwing something at the wall and being like, hopefully everyone will be fine with three games, which doesn't even really mean anything because he can coach during the week. It was such a half measure, half ass thing by the Big Ten that it leaves me like no other conclusion than the Big Ten has no idea what they're doing and they're just trying to save face the funny thing is if you're if you're a fan of Ohio State or another Big Ten school I I completely agree with being so mad at Michigan yes and you want Michigan like kicked out of college football you want the death penalty for Michigan I would too if I went to one of those schools but if you're detached from it and you can look at it from just an objectively ridiculous point of view it's a very funny scandal that's's happening.
Jim Harbaugh is the perfect person to be having to address this and to deal with the adversity that he inflicted upon himself. This is good for college football because it's hilarious.
From my point of view, it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. But again, if you're an Ohio State fan, you should want Jim Harbaugh put on the nearest train and then taken directly to Chicago to go coach the Bears yes that and and you should want that too big cat please uh but yeah this is um it's funny but I would also caution like if you're a fan of a serious college football team if you love Ohio State if you love Alabama Georgia any powerhouse school USC you name it Texas you should be very worried that due process right is not existing because I got news for you you're cheating your dick off too it might you might not be doing it as egregiously as what Michigan is doing and you're probably not going into like military grade sophistication with your surveillance of other teams but every single school if they're good is cheating big time and you don't want this to be the precedent for when you get caught because if you're a michigan fan and this happens across college football it happens across all college sports a little bit in pros but mostly at the college ranks we saw it last year with alabama and their basketball team if your team is the one that's being investigated you turn you turn into a legal scholar so fast you do so much reading you learn so much you learn all the laws about uh uh transfer transfer of handgun possession you learn everything that you have to know about like okay here's the ncaa bylaws that they're going to use to persecute us with and here's how this does not meet x y and z criteria and then everybody else in the country learns the top line it's like you're a bunch of cheating fucks you should be suspended immediately and then you just reply in twitters all day being like actually this is exactly what happened the only thing i'll push back on you for is alabama and georgia should not be worried because the one thing that you should always give credit to the sec is they do things correctly in the fact that they never punish or hurt their best teams they're experts at at looking the other way.
They do. Like, Greg Sankey would never do this.
He would never do this. A team that is about, is on the precipice of going to the college football playoff, that is like the talk of the nation, he would never be like, hey, let's cut our own legs here and try to hurt our own conference.
That's the difference in the SEC and Big Ten. We got Tony Petony patiti a fucking moron like dude just figure out the fact that maybe we could win a national title for the first time in in whatever it's been like eight nine years and get the fuck out of the way and just say the ncaa has to deal with it that's what sec does and they they win national titles tony patiti needs to pretend that he's the cop from from uh the the nuns pull up after the bank robbery.
Just look the other way. Yeah.
I didn't see nothing. Just be like, look, Michigan, it's not fair.
Life is not fair. Here's a little lesson for everyone out there.
Life is not fair. If you're Tony Petitti, this is different.
If it was Rutgers, if it was Purdue, if it was Wisconsin, yes, that's different than Michigan. I like life is not fair.
It sucks that I have to admit this. But Michigan and Ohio State are different than the rest of the Big Ten.
And you need to treat them like they are different than the rest of the Big Ten. Because if the goal is to get as many bowl games and more money for college football playoffs and these big TV deals, you have to prop up your big time like breadwinners when it comes to college football I think I I think I misspoke on his name I think it's Sharon Brown or Sharon Moore I said Brown earlier that's Ron Moore is the interim coach of Michigan he probably is happy he did that because you know he's like I listen that was an emotional thing he definitely the next day was.
Yeah. I went a little too hard.
Maybe not, though, because maybe I bet you they had the longest hug ever when he went back to the hotel. Oh, yeah.
Harbaugh said he's like, I'd die for that guy. Yeah, exactly.
They both die for each other, which is beautiful. But Sharon Moore, he's coaching on Saturdays.
Harbaugh still gets to coach the team during the week. Well, Harbaugh's also coaching the team on Saturdays because going back to the game, 28 runs in the second half, no passes.
I know there was one pass that was a PI. That was Harbaugh.
JJ McCarthy, what do you finish? Seven for eight? Yeah, and it's shocking because he's a good quarterback too. Yeah.
And they were just like, you know what? Fuck it. We're going to run the ball down Penn State's throat the entire time.
yeah it did feel like harbaugh like he was sending him at like a smoke signal to harbaugh like this is for you coach i got your back and uh i don't know what the rules are how close harbaugh is allowed to be to the stadium i know he can't be on the sidelines he said he was five inches away from the tv when sharon moore was giving that speech he was probably speaking like during the game he was trying to kiss the tv if i was michigan's ad here's what i would do during the games i would give harbaugh a headset and i would say okay it's a one-way headset they can hear everything that you say but they can't talk back to you um and just put it on them and have harbaugh he would totally believe that he's still coaching the game yeah he even said when he was like people were like how are you dealing with all this stuff he's like i just dive into work which is football yeah you just want to coach football max was at the game he said it was the worst sporting event he's ever been to i mean did you watch it was horrible yeah the james franklin is i i would assume all penn state fans are now feeling like he has to go i know he wins he's he's won 11 games, I think, four or five times, but he's never going to win the big one. He's not going anywhere.
From what I've been told by other Penn State people that know more about me is that the way his contract's set up is that there's no way that you can get rid of him. Yeah, but we talked about this a couple weeks ago if it was still going to be a 14 playoff uh for the next like 10 20 years then you're looking at this and you're like uh yeah franklin he's not going to get us to that next level he's got to go you guys will be in the playoff yeah but then it's just going to be the same thing yeah no he's never going to be well you'll get to the 12 team playoff and then you'll just see what happens against ohio state and michigan they're I was saying this in memes.
Penn State. They're not the Jets.
Yes, they are. No, they aren't.
They win 11 games. Yeah.
They're not the Jets. I'm saying this year, the defense is really, really good, and you have a quarterback who's hyped up and thought that he was going to be the difference maker in the program, and then the quarterback just isn't good enough and the offense is not good enough say what you want about the jets but at least they were smart enough not to play christian hackenberg that's different well no it's same since they played him but college nfl the the penn state is a classic case and we're going to talk about jimbo in a second of a program having to come to grips with what they might be versus what the team, what, what the fans expect.
Because if you asked 90% of college football fans, would you like 11 wins a year and to be in like a new year's day bowl? They'd be like, fuck yes, I would. Penn state is one of those college programs that they have a history of national titles.
They have a history of great success.

And the bar is so high that James Franklin,

he can win 11 games all he wants.

If he can't beat Michigan and Ohio State, that's not enough.

But they still recruit like those guys. I know.

So that's the difference is that they bring in the guys

that should get you to that next step.

But Franklin just can't coach that big game. He plays so soft.
He coaches so soft. He's got rock for brains.
It runs up the middle, runs up the middle, hope for a slant, and then punt on fourth and one. Just punt.
He's just punted so many times. At the end of the day, I was like was like all right this is penn state football i'm not gonna i i don't get upset about penn state football like i do other other sports but it's like it's still frustrating to see like the same thing over and over again what are their rankings in terms of recruiting are they are they up there they're up there ohio state but i feel like i feel like they're outside they're in that like if i were to just throw a dart and say what I think Penn State's recruiting is like I would say that they're probably seventh through tenth somewhere nationally the way the rankings have gone in the last few years is essentially there's Ohio State there's Georgia and there's Alabama and then those three teams have dudes that are on a different level.

And then the Michigans, the LSUs, the Florida States, the Penn States, they're right there, but there's still that gap between like,

oh my God, that's three teams.

But that tier two is still competing for playoff spots.

Sometimes.

Like Penn State is never competing for that playoff spot.

One time.

Well, that's because they have to play against Ohio State.

They had the possibility.

Yeah, but so does LSU.

Here's the difference. Right now, if you look at 2024, and I don't know, you know, obviously signing day and all this stuff, everything can change.
Georgia and Ohio State, Georgia has four or five stars. Ohio State has five.
Penn State has zero. Like, that's the difference.
It's like you can get a lot of four stars, but can you get the five or six or seven five stars every single recruiting class that those become the true difference makers when you play on Saturday? Yeah, so if you have a team of four stars, you can beat the shit out of bad teams because you can run the ball, you can run the ball, you can run the ball, and then you can rely on a decent passing game. If you have five stars at running back or at wide receiver, then that's when you can compete with that next level.
And Penn State doesn't have that. But there's a tier two.
There's tier one that is in the college football every year. You know what I mean? No matter what, they're in it every year.
There's a tier two that every couple of years, they're going to make it into the fourth seed, probably get smoked, but they're playing for a college football playoff every so years.

Penn State is in that third tier when they should be in that second tier.

Yeah, and look, it also comes down to what you do with your five stars

because that's the biggest thing.

Look, I'm looking right now at a random year, 2021.

2021, Penn State had zero five stars. Alabama had had seven ohio state had seven georgia had four that's the difference if those elite guys those are the top three in terms of five-star recruits in 2021 having those elite guys and then doing something with them like actually making them great what i'm hearing max is that you need to spend more time tweeting at high school players that are being recruited by penn state being like hey i can't i can't put that much that much passion into penn state football the other thing is uh and clemson was obviously in that tier they've taken a step back but they were in that like they got the five six uh five stars i feel like texas is getting up there too well the the funny thing is because we're going to talk about Jimbo, is looking at that 2022 class when he had eight five stars, and it was the greatest college football recruiting class of all time, and Jimbo Fisher has now been fired.
His buyout is comical. He's owed $19 million in the next 60 days, another $7 million in the next 120 days, and then $7 million every year from 2025 to 2031.
It's so good. So he gets almost 27 million in the next 90 days of his life.
And then it's not offset. That's a crazy thing.
A lot of times coaches' salaries, they get offset. If you get a new job, then the money that you make at the new job counts towards what you're getting paid

in your buyout.

And you have to prove that you're looking for a new job in order to get that money.

Jimbo is just going to get all this money.

And we put a price target on the cost per barrel of oil a couple months ago at, I think,

$90 per barrel.

It got to $90.

I think it got to like $93.

And then it dipped back down again.

But that's when Texas A&M alum have real fuck you money.

Once the oil prices get that high, it got so bad that they were like you know what um we're just gonna say fuck it and get rid of jimbo because we're gonna have to go out get a new coach and we're gonna have to fund that buyout too and pay jimbo fisher but it's not worth it having a team that's barely above 500 every year and and the picture that's so funny is the texas a&m donor giving a like 160 million dollars at halftime of the texas a&m mississippi state game that was literally just like here's his bio that was the the 12th man foundation that was like giving their annual donation it was just specifically a check to get rid of jimbo fisher and oh my god you you pay me that much money to off, and I am going to fuck off so hard. You will never see my face again.
I would leave the country immediately. I would buy an island.
I don't know what Texas A&M does now because I think that might be the worst job in college football. And I know that people are like, what the fuck are you talking about? You get paid so much money.
The expectations are so crazy. And Jimbo Fisher couldn't he had the recruiting classes the covid year is weird he won 10 games he even beat alabama in 2021 and it's still not enough like it's i don't know who would want to take that job uh if it's anything besides just a money play which yeah i would hand up yeah i understand take that job but you you have to take that job knowing you're going to get paid a lot of money and you're probably going to fail.
Because the bar that they want to be at is so disconnected from where they are. Yeah, well, Big Cat, you forget.
Texas A&M has a history of winning national championships. And winning 10 games.
Oh, wait. That's right.
They've won 10 games, I think, twice in the last 20 years. Oh, and oh, wait.
The national championship that they won, I think, was 1937 1937 yeah the most recent one the uh one name that they're looking for is uh oregon dan lanning who came out and said that uh this was his quote i think i've been really really clear here since day one i'm not going anywhere there's zero chance i'd be coaching somewhere else i've got unfinished business here oregon fans rightfully were like this is awesome happy he said it that doesn't mean shit i don't think he's gonna take it i he i think very well could not take it yeah we know though the college football coaches will say whatever they want to say in the moment and then take it later yeah just coaches in general right people in general in fact will say that until you put a big check in for them they're like yeah i'll do that nick saban said i will not be the coach coach of Alabama Crimson Tide. Like two weeks before he went and was the coach of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
Yeah, Bobby Petrino said he wasn't going to leave the Falcons. And then he wrote a note on a napkin and left it in the locker room.
Yeah. Moxco Burris said he actually had a good tweet because it was – I can't remember what the context was.
It was something about players thinking about NIL. And like it's a distraction.
maybe saban said it was a distraction he's like he literally sat in front of the michigan state team and was like i'm not going anywhere and then was at lsu two weeks later yeah brian kelly didn't brian kelly didn't even go to the senior like dinner at cincinnati because he's like fuck that i'm out yeah like coaches will do whatever i i it's great that dan landing said i like dan dan lanning a lot i'm rooting for dan lanning i hope he stays because it's better for college football if he does and guys don't keep jumping around but i would never ever take a quote from a coach and be like yep good we're good yeah it's over i would uh if i was a and m i would look at elco they're probably looking at him right now i would i would be i would be shot up belichick belichick? Well, they do have a history of bringing professional coaches down to the college level. Yeah.
I think Sherman did that, right? Why not Urban Meyer? Urban Meyer at- He's a freak. It would actually be perfect if he was at A&M because it is, again, a cult.
Yeah, it's just freaks of different nature. Urban Meyer is the perfect cult leader.
Yeah. I mean, he sucked as an NFL head coach, but as a college head coach where he is like the warlord slash cult leader at whatever town he's in then he's really good at that and there's no more insulated place in the world than college station texas it would be fun it would be very fun if he went get him back in the sec that would be great yeah uh they probably are delusional enough to think that they can they can try to get saban they'll probably just like make a phone call to Saban be like hey are you interested no okay sorry for bothering you Kansas head coach Lance Leipold they'll probably talk to him he's the only problem with him which is not fair because he's won literally everywhere he's gone UW Whitewater Buffalo now Kansas is he's a little older so that's like the only thing that people always like well he's old who cares he wins games yeah I also heard a rumor about Dan Campbell Texas A&M alum oh no you could never I don't think he's gonna leave Detroit that would although there's definitely a group of Lions fans who are listening to this right now and it might not be a large group but I bet you there's a group that are like, that'd be cool, because then Ben Johnson would be the coach, and they don't want to lose Ben Johnson.
Yeah. I see you there's some people who are thinking that in their head.
They're like, because when you get that offensive coordinator whiz kid, and it's like, well, we're going to lose him eventually, it's not a large amount. Maybe Lions fans, you can circle a trust.
You can tweet me and say you've thought this and it's not the worst thought you can you can tweet me that i hope dan campbell stays at detroit he's perfect for detroit but i guarantee you there's some lions fans in the back of their head they're like oh that that would kind of work out i actually think that's that's not a thought that you've had already but it's a great spin zone to keep in your back pocket in case you do lose Dan Campbell. There's a couple.
It's a perfect way to work it out and say, OK, well, at least we didn't lose Ben. Yeah, I think that is now our coach.
I think ninety nine percent of Lions fans love Dan Campbell. There's just a circle of trust.
I will not judge you if you treat me this. I will not judge you.
All right. Last couple of things.
Jaden Daniels should be the Heisman. We talked about it quickly on Monday.
I have some stats for you, PFT. Jaden Daniels versus Florida had 372 passing yards, 234 rushing yards.
That's been done a lot, hasn't it? Five total touchdowns. First player in FBS history to have 350-plus passing yards and 200-plus rushing yards in a single game.
Was that his Heisman moment? Listen. I want to hear what the heisman moments are for his competition we we also need to be start like he is lamar jackson when lamar jackson won the heisman with three losses yeah that's what he is except his stats might be better so um we can look his main competition i would say bo nicks michael pennix right and then marvin har.
Obviously, if you're going to go with, like, the most talented player, Marvin Harrison probably, like, in terms of pure talent, maybe better. And then a small sect of Michigan fans who are like, well, J.J.
McCarthy is going to be, like, 45 for 50 against Ohio State for 375,000 yards. Yeah, you could do that.
But if you look at passing yards,

Jaden Daniels has 3,164 yards.

Bo Nix has 3,135 yards.

Michael Penix has 3,533.

All pretty close together.

Very, very similar in terms of stats.

And then you go to rushing yards.

Yeah.

Jaden Daniels has 918 rushing yards. He's going to have 1,000 rushing yards this year.
Bo Nix, 121. Michael Penix, negative 27.
Jayden Daniels has more touchdowns, more rushing touchdowns than the rest of them. And his completion percentage is not quite as good as Bo Nix, but it's better than Michael Penix.
He also, here's some more stats. We're just going to give you guys all the things you need to go out and tell everyone.
Jaden Daniels is averaging 408 total yards per game. Second place is 350.
That's a pretty big difference. Most plays of 20 plus yards in 2023, Jaden Daniels has 76.
Michael Penix has 57 and Bo Nix has 39. 76 plays of 20 plus yards.
Here's quick power conference ranks by stat. Jaden Daniels, total yards a game, first.
Total TDs a game, first. Pass yards a game, second.
Pass TDs a game, first. Rush yards a game, first.
Rush TDs a game, sixth. QBR, first.
Passer rating, first. Yards a play, first.
EPA a play, first. i feel like i'm spitting bars here these he's leading everything so i i found i found another interesting stat on death valley insider and they compared joe burrow's 2019 with jaden daniels projected yeah 2023 uh in a in a 12 game regular season so here's what they're projecting to obviously jo, Joe Burrow, more passing yards, 4,366.
Jaden Daniels on pace for 3,797. But if you look at total yards, Joe had 4,614.
Jaden Daniels on pace for 4,809. And Joe had 47 total touchdowns.
Jaden Daniels would have 46 total touchdowns on pace. on now it's not he doesn't play defense not as good as joe burrow but if you want to just look at purely from a statistical point of view jane daniels is really really fucking good and his defense is one of the worst the best he's the best player in college football this year and that's what the award should be it shouldn't be a team, and we're completely unbiased in all of these takes.
Yeah, it's not like we're only saying this because we put a future on him to win the Heisman Trophy. I do like that there were some people being like, do you have a future on him or something? I'm like, yeah, we literally said it.
We put it in live on air on Monday show. Yeah, I'm just kicking myself.
I didn't get it at 900. I'm an idiot.
That's okay. Let's Let's just stay.
500 is good. 500 is good.
Stay the course.

And Jaden Daniels should be your Heisman.

Take these stats and spread them from sea to shining sea.

Jane Daniels Heisman moment.

He has a Heisman moment.

I don't know what the other guys are.

That's what I go off of.

Yeah.

It's just who has, who has the greater one replay that you watch over and over again.

All right.

Last thing quickly, James Madison. I told you I would give you i would i'm splitting my time now um because my football team is garbage uh i am splitting my time between jayden daniels for heisman and jmu for a bowl game get jmu into a bowl game let the kids play and you know what and jacksonville state i'm gonna say let jacksonville state play in a bowl game too okay um so it is a possibility it's actually a i'd say about 50 chance that jmu gets to play in a bowl game even though they're not eligible is this biased no no possibility or if i if i was being biased i would say like they're probably gonna play in a bowl okay it's it's about 50 50 so they are ineligible to play uh in the postseason however, if there are not enough bowl-eligible teams in college football this season, then they will allow teams that are not eligible due to technicalities to play.
Got it. So that's a real thing.
I don't know if that would put them in a New Year's Six or not. And again, I'm speaking hypothetically.
If they do happen to win out, they got game day this weekend, which is awesome, in Harrisonburg against App State. And then they have Coastal in the last game, which are going to be two tough games.
but assuming if they happen to win out they got game day this weekend which is awesome in harrisonburg against app state and then they have coastal in the last game which are gonna be two tough games but assuming if they happen to win both those games then there are a number of ways that they could get into a bowl game so who are we rooting against so we're rooting against a lot of different teams i can give you the entire list of teams that i'm rooting rip them off so shout out to NIT Stu who actually compiled all this for us. FIU, Buffalo, Wake Forest, Colorado, Washington State, Hawaii, Houston, FAU, Cal, TCU, Mississippi State, Old Dominion, South Carolina, Eastern Michigan, Northern Illinois, Navy, Rice, Western Michigan, Colorado State.
And then we've got a bunch of others that we're rooting to lose two games, including, unfortunately, your Wisconsin Badgers, which might happen, might not. No, they're bad, so it could very well happen, although I kind of think that they're going to beat Nebraska because Luke Fickle said, we're going to find out who wants to be here.
Yep. That's always the sign of things might start to turn around because they're going to have a little, like, you don't want to be here, bro.
So we just don't want teams to reach six wins and if not enough teams reach six and you can also be bowl eligible at five and six i believe i don't know how all that works i think they changed it a couple years ago so there's uh there's 40 teams that are in the hunt jmu needs eight or more of those to come up short got it so i think it's a it's a good possibility okay all right 50 50

all right we're rooting against those teams i'm in i'm in i'm rooting against those teams so

everyone has their their marching orders it's to recap jim harbaugh funniest guy in the world

uh jmu needs to be in a bowl game jayden daniels heisman yep that feels good i like where we're

at yeah these are all fun things to embrace yes um okay now let's get to a not fun thing um for hank

Thank you. Yep.
That feels good. I like where we're at.
These are all fun things to embrace. Yes.
Okay, now let's get to a not fun thing for Hank. It's hot seat, cool throne.
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Hank, hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat is Valley Sports Southwest. No, it's you.
It's you. It's you.
My cool throne is me. No, your hot seat is you.
Why is your cool throne you? Do you decide who my hot seat is? Well, I think the listeners decided because it took you this long to come up with this. All right, fine.
I will ignore that, I guess, if you want to get right into the presentation. Yeah, let's do it.
You guys are absolute divas. Hank threw.
There's 100 cameras in here. Hank threw everything.
I take pictures of you guys all the time, and I take my phone out. He goes, it took me five minutes before I get pissed off at Hank.
Do you get pissed off at this camera? Do you get pissed off at that camera? No. There's a difference between these cameras and being like oh what's the show well hank you came into this room at the very start of the show before we even started taping you shot me a look you're giving looks today giving looks no you came in to go did you do the presentation it was a question it was a valid question especially considering the events of last tuesday here's what hank did he tried everything to not do this presentation he told me he had a call right as the show started.
You heard me on the call. Fake company.
Then he came in and he unplugged everything with the TV so that Max and Memes had to hustle trying to get everything set. He was like, oh, the presentation doesn't work.
The presentation doesn't work. It works.
We're ready to go. Let's go.

Let's see this presentation, bucko. All right.
Well, you know, I did a lot of thinking the past couple of weeks. I don't think I've ever heard you bucko him before.
When you bucko a guy, that's so much worse than buddy. Let's do it, bucko.
The assignment at hand. Are you guys going to let me speak for this one, or are you just going to interrupt me every two seconds? No, please.
Go ahead, sport. the assignment at hand was

to do a presentation about how the Gillette

lighthouse was not real, which I think part of the reason why I struggled to get it done was because I had already admitted that the lighthouse was not real and we had spent a lot of time going through reasons for what makes a real lighthouse and what makes and what makes a fake yeah because you keep bringing it up no you guys kept bringing it up and and my point being that i didn't know how to do a presentation where you know explaining why the lighthouse wasn't real when we've already gone over that and i've already admitted that it wasn't real so i you know decided to to think bigger and and go into what reality and what's real and what's fake really means. So without further ado.
Did you get meta with it? You got metaphysical? Let's begin. Wait, Hank, right off the bat, I have one gripe about the opening slide of this.
Okay. What does the date say on that presentation? That was just the day I started it.
Henry John Lockwood, 11- today is what the 14th that should say the 14th well i can't help when i start like i've been working on this for a while you always date your powerpoint presentations when you make them okay also gillette is spelled incorrect good point jake are you like what no one gives a great point point. Cut his mic.
Not joking. Which lighthouse are you talking about here, Hank? The Gillette Lighthouse.
Oh, because that's a different lighthouse with one T. Okay, so the date's wrong.
Date's correct. Okay.
All right, well, this... I mean, Max is four minutes fucked up.
He's literally lying on the ground right now flopping around didn't even give me the presentation the way i sent it uh this is supposed to be a lot clearer i don't know why it's see-through but what does real and fake actually mean real the definition is actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact not imagined or supposed fake means not genuine or counterfeit. Huh, counterfeit's an interesting word.
With that being said, I would like to now open up the floor to you guys. I have some examples, and you tell me what's real and what's fake.
Okay, so you're opening up the floor for questions? No, I'm opening up the floor for you guys. Well, we're not allowed to talk.
Well, you've been around me 100 times, right? What do you think opening up the floor means? It means you guys can give me... You have two words you can say.
I don hundred what do you think opening up the floor means it means you guys can give me you you have one you have two words i don't think you know what opening up the floor means i'm going to show you pictures you each no no other commentary just real or fake all right i'll play next slide that is jesus christ i think he was a real person he existed he existed it's a real or fake he existed he existed real real all right next slide he didn't look like that though yeah that's not a good representation of jesus no so you're saying that there's some debate on whether it's no no i'm saying that real person that picture right there as a person is not a likeness of what jesus do you have a picture of what he looks like? Yeah, they made a they tried to get a picture.

Would you call it a rendering? You remember that painting?

He was a real person who existed.

Do you have proof? Yes.

There's historical record

of Jesus. Council of Nicaea.

Okay. I just don't know

how you can say that's not a real picture of him if you don't have a real picture.

What's a drawing? But whatever. Okay, go on.

It's clearly a drawing. It didn't have

pictures back then, idiot. The moon landing.
Real. Real.
How is there wind on the flag? It's not wind on the flag. They put wires in the flag to make it stand out.
That's actually a fact. You can see the wires.
Next picture. This pair of chests.
I'm very bad at this. This pair of chests.
I'm going to say real. Hank, there's only one chest there.
Real. Yeah, I'm also bad at it.
I've been berated several times for not correctly identifying fake boobs. I'm going to say those are- They look real.
I think they're fake. I think those are fake.
Next slide. These Christmas trees.
Let me take a look. Fake on the right.
They're all fake. Fake, fake, fake fake fake fake the big bang real I didn't ask you to go to the next slide but go ahead real yeah it's real we do an evolution now I'm just asking questions I'm just trying to I opened the floor for you guys I wanted some is there a point to all this are you actually this is like your Hank doesn't know are real or fake.
He's like, this is a perfect chance for me to ask some questions that I never, I feel too stupid to ask. Is the Big Bang real? You guys tell me.
I know, obviously, but you tell me. But there's no proof of the Big Bang being real.
There is. There's a lot of proof.
There's a shitload of proof. Look at Neil deGrasse Tyson's timeline right now.
I'm sure he's tweeted about it nine times today you're talking about evolution i believe in evolution i do not believe that we all just sprouted out of nowhere and and a dude gave a girl or his rib and was like here now you're a girl some somewhat someone argue that we're living in a simulation someone argue that the bing bang is real someone argue that you know that those boobs are real. Those boobs are fake.
Are you questioning just like science? There's arguments, and you've got to question everything. That was kind of the- Are we doing flat earth next, Kyrie? The hypothesis that I went through is like, yes, technically, by definition, some would say that this lighthouse is not real, but there's some that would say that it is real.
I want to give Hank credit because Hank actually, this is a genius argument that you're making right now. By taking the entire concept of what we think of as reality and questioning it, that's the only way out of this.
I actually think Hank is doing a good job. Next slide, please.
Iris Murdoch, you guys are familiar, famously said, You tell me. We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion.
The great task in life is to find reality. You could put any quote anywhere and just put a name under it.
Be like, here's this quote. What? Yeah.
Oh, look, I'm looking up a quote right now. The Gillette lighthouse is completely fake.
And anyone who thinks it's real is an idiot. Donald Trump.
Trump would never say that. He absolutely.
Hank, what's your favorite Iris Murdoch novel? Probably The Great Caspi. Next slide.
Now, we go on to the... You definitely never even read The Great Caspi.
You just know it's a book. You might like that.
That's Scott Fitzgerald. Yeah.
Green light. Green light across the pond.
Lighthouse is a new. You just described a lighthouse.
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
So anyway, the question of what's real and what's fake can be questioned by anyone. Someone could say something's real and someone could always have an argument that it's fake.
Just because someone has proof that something something's real doesn't mean that it necessarily is and it's our job as humans to determine find you know find what's an illusion and what's reality like that's our daily task is what is real and what is fake some things they might be like some things like you know jesus that may maybe he wasn't real maybe those things weren't real but he's a symbol he's a symbol of hope yeah he's a symbol of what we're going for you're smart what you've done you've been like there are a lot of idiots in this world me being one of them well also i think maybe hank's been hanging out with somebody that has a history of questioning whether or not things are real and that has rubbed off on him oh lighthouses in new england uh wait go back please can you respect my slides the first lighthouse was built in north america was the boston light so it was built in boston in massachusetts it's been a symbol of our state of our region for a long time it's a beacon of hope if you will is that real next slide is that lighthouse real that lighthouse is real i don't Oh, it is. Okay.
All right. I want to set the ground rules.
So that real? Next slide. Is that lighthouse real?

That lighthouse is real.

I don't know what.

Oh, it is.

Okay.

All right. Just, I want to set the ground.

Well, so that lighthouse is real.

Got it.

It depends on who you ask.

This is Sally snowman.

She was the last lighthouse keeper in America.

Would.

So she, she is retiring at the end of 2023 and will not be replaced.

So in 2024, being a lighthouse keeper as a job is not real in no it's still a real job it's not happen anymore anywhere in the world in america okay is this that's my world does she still real job sally snowman currently a lighthouse keeper i'm saying in 2024 right but right now yeah right this i saw that you put the date at the start of your presentation what was that again november 5th 2020 okay so as of the date of it's taking a long time to come to these conclusions as of the date of this presentation it's a real job got it but in 2024 it will not be a real job however in 2023 it was a real job so it it kind of opens it up. It's like things can be real at some point, but fake in others.
How does that work? You can't say in 2023 it was. It is.
Next slide. The last major lighthouse built in America was in 1962.
It was Sullivan's Lighthouse in South Carolina. That was until the Gillette Lighthouse.
In conclusion, it's our job as humans, as intellectuals, to sift through the nonsense and the illusions and determine what's real and what's fake. And really just find those beacons of hope.
Just because someone tells you, you know, Jesus wasn't real. It doesn't mean you can't use them as a symbol of hope.
Just because PFT says this lighthouse isn't real. It doesn't mean you can't, it's not, it doesn't have to be real to you and as a region.
So I think it's like, maybe it's not real to you guys. It's like wrestling, but Patriots fans, new Englanders, they will recognize this lighthouse as a real thing, as a beacon of hope, and as a symbol of our team and our region.
So that was kind of what I came to. It was hard.
Obviously, I had to say the lighthouse wasn't real, but in doing my research and coming to these conclusions, it's just not real to you guys. I've gotten dumber.
I think that's fair. I've gotten dumber.
think hank took the weirdest possible way to reach a reasonable conclusion which is if we believe in the lighthouse then it's real well i didn't know what what the the the task was like make a presentation about how the lighthouse isn't real but we know we've gone through that right so i didn't have to say it's not real i did on the show right when they after they lost i mean i like the presentation was good you've confused everyone which was smart you did kind of like a hey look at my thumb g you're dumb slap him in the face what is real is this real right now i i i you know some are some are saying that you know the big bank theory is really the big question like some some are saying that we're just uh it was it was a comment it was an elon musk tiktok and it was a comment in the tiktok so not an elon musk quote this is a billy football some are saying that we are uh living in a simulation and the simulation is to determine how humans will deal with ai and we're we're about to come to that that's about to come a head. And that has to do with the lighthouse how? Okay.
The Big Bang Theory. Did it happen or not? We might not even be here.
Exactly. Nothing is real.
Exactly. Yeah.
I mean, you did a good job of confusing everyone. That was actually very smart of you, Hank.
I give it an A+. It was good.
You took the right route, was just question everything. Literally everything.
And so then nothing can be proven. What's that on the slide? What is that slide? It's a zoomed in Sally Snowman.
Memes and Max are loving it. It looked like Rico.
I like Sally Snowman. I'm a Sally Snowman guy.
Goat. Sounds like a character in a children's book.
Alright Hank, good good job thank you are you feel good that that's done with yeah it's stressing me out yeah we know how much of that slide did you do yourself all of it all of it the boston light i had dms from people but i had to go i went the whole the whole beginning beginning. I think the only slide that I had some help with was the Boston Light.
I mean, it was a good presentation. You have us questioning everything.
Nothing is real. Or is everything real? That's on us.
Who's to say? That's for us to determine. That's the conclusion only a man who's very upset with the state of their football team would reach.

Yeah.

Well, none of this really even matters.

This is really, yeah.

When you zoom out, you're like, this is where the Patriots season is.

We're doing a presentation of what's real and what's fake.

I mean, I've talked more about lighthouses this year than the Patriots.

That's probably a fact.

Yeah, that is a fact.

That is a fact.

Because you keep bringing it up.

Yeah.

No, I'll never bring it up again.

I never want to.

I mean, it's done.

It's settled.

We've gone through the exercise. It's up to you you whether determined it's real or fake i choose real you choose fake it's like it's it's like religion you know still real to me yeah great job hank thank you great job was it a great job yeah everyone everyone watch the youtube subscribe to the youtube hank's presentation what is real but if it was good or not is entirely subjective we don't know that's true we don't know anything point if we learned anything we don't know that's really the biggest takeaway from hank's entire presentation no one knows question everything nobody can ever be wrong all right pft your hot seat cool throne uh well first of all hank did you do uh cool throne yeah my cool throne And then Hot Seat was...
My Hot Seat was the Bally Sports executive. No, your Hot Seat was you.
Taking the clip down. Yeah, about James Harden.
That was soft. It was soft.
That was a good speech the guy gave. It was impassioned.
He was right. He was right.
Is impassioned a word? Yeah, it was an impassioned speech that he gave. It was emotional.
It was just impassionate. Well, it was an impassioned speech that he gave it was emotional it was just a passionate well it's good impassioned speech can't say it was a passion's passionate is it in passion passion impact like em like empathy you become passion empath showing intense feeling yeah there it is i nailed it i am an empath so you're not the only nerd here jake uh all right uh my hot seat is conor mcdavid because his coach got fired again yeah so it's time to ask the question is conor mcdavid a coach killer big cat because this is coach number four i think for him not only did his coach get fired but they lost their number one fan ryan whitney he has he has he has uh, disavowed the Oilers, which actually has made them win.
Cause so this is going to sound sad for me. I did put tweet alerts on for Whitney because I saw that he was doing Twitter spaces, emergency Twitter spaces.
And let's just say we, we love Whitney. He's our, the number one guest who's been on this show.
He's not really a guy who's going to be working overtime. So when he was doing the Twitter spaces, I was like, this is good.
But now I have Twitter alerts on for him, and all he does is just be like, congrats to the Oilers for winning. You're lucky that I stopped being a fan.
Yeah, well, they should be. Here's the thing with Witt is that Witt now gets to claim that he was initially right.
He was only wrong about changing his mind and being wrong. Yes.
So his original take that they suck was correct. But this is, yeah, it's Conor McDavid's fourth head coach.
A lot of people are saying he's a coach killer. I'm going to say that he's a coach killer just because it's fun and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player.
You're so good that if you don't win everything all the time, then it means that you suck, actually. Speaking of Twitter spaces, did you guys see the Dolphins fan invade the Jets' Twitter space? I did.
Yeah, it was pretty good. This is very funny.
This is just classic radio prank. Two points I just wanted to make.
I was a big Robert Solifan. Because of what he did with the defense, I thought he did a really good job.
And I thought keeping him or letting him go after the season was going to be a huge mistake. But holy shit, I don't know what the agenda is behind the scenes with Zach Wilson, but it's fucking disgusting at this point uh second point i wanted to quickly make was y'all fucking suck fins up baby this is all all all oh that's great jets twitter space with like 800 people yeah i i love the idea of the jets fan like kicking him off and then looking at his phone be like get the fuck out of here man like let this guy in staring just solemnly at his iphone oh that's great that is great it is good um and our friend pete blackburn pointed out on twitter that every coach that mcdavid's had has had some sort of a dick reference in his name oh so just something he's got knob lock now he had woodcroft he had tippet before and then ken hitchcock oh i've been all of his coaches so he's got a type and he likes to get them all fired okay so i'm just i'm excited that we have that narrative now yes mcdavid agree you have to latch on to a narrative in a sport that you i consider myself to be a hockey expert but i know that a lot of people in this room don't um but it's good to just take if you're a a puck boy, find a narrative and then just latch on to it and keep repeating it.
Coach killer. My cool throne is diapers.
Diapers on my cool throne because Dan Campbell has been asked about his fourth down choices that he's making, how he's going for it so often in fourth down. And he is advising Lions fans to wear diapers when they watch the game.
He says, here's what I would say, because I tell my family this. Just wear a diaper before some of these games.
I'll give them an alert and say, put them on and be ready to roll. Only Dan Campbell could describe putting on diapers as being ready to roll.
Ready to roll. Like ready to shit yourself.
Yeah. I actually, I don't hate the idea.
All cards on the table, I have worn a diaper during a game before. So you can pee yourself.
You can be a pee dog. Yeah, I did one time when the lines at the bathroom were very, very long in the stadium.
You can dipe up for a game. Yeah.
Dipe up for a game. This is my kids.
I'm like, you're ready to roll. Yeah.
Just ready to roll, baby. Ready to roll.
I actually act the day and poop your pants. I start.
I might start wearing diapers when we're watching NFL streams on Sunday. That won't be gross.
You got seven hours of football. I'm going to be like...
That sounds like a bit we could leave on the table. It's like Mel Kiper.
Mel Kiper in the draft. Yeah.
There's bathrooms right next to us. Yeah, but I understand the principle behind it.
Yeah. Which is...
It's good in principle. I think that's where we're...
It's good in principle. Yeah.
And yeah, I mean, you pee in the sink. I do.
Yeah. But that's a hole.
That's a drain. It is a hole.
I don't sit in my own urine. We just wash dishes in it.
You've also peed in the sink. I have peed in the sink.
Yeah. But yeah, Dan Campbell.
Talk about the old office piss sink now that we're not there anymore. Yeah, I mean, I think I talked about it when we were there, too.
Yeah, there was a shop sink that no one used in the hallway. Did you get busted? I got busted.
There was a couple times where someone maybe came around the corner and I had to zip up real quick.

Like, oh, washing my hands.

I got busted.

It was during a Sunday.

I was peeing in the shop sink.

Which is just for the reference.

It was in the hallway.

In the middle of the hallway.

It's a hallway that's not used on Sunday.

It was our office and there was three other businesses in this same.

But we only had two bathrooms for 50 people. I know.
Yeah. We had two- Not just two bathrooms.
We had two toilets for 50 people. 50 people.
And so there was a shop sink that was in the back hallway to the businesses. On a Sunday, nobody else used this office.
Which I put everyone onto. I was like, yo, guys, there's a sink we can piss in.
It was just us for the most part. The rule was just leave the water running.
Yeah, leave the water running. Don and so uh yeah i went back there i relieved myself i was like the fourth person to use it that day and then i heard uh footsteps around the corner and as i'm zipping up this woman's like excuse me and i looked at her and i was like can i help you and she was like yeah i work here yeah and i was like oh well i'm pissed i piss here sorry yeah so do i yeah this is i'm working right now actually there's listen max what are you gonna say you're gonna say that was bad no i was just gonna say you were like yeah we only did it on sundays did i don't think that's true every day i only peed in that sink on sunday listen i listen i pee in the sink my house.
Every other pee in the sink in the office setting has only been because we have had a limited amount of toilets. It was the old New York office, the first office that we had like 100 people in two bathrooms.
That was when I started pissing in the sink. I only do it when I have to.
What if your son sees you peeing and starts doing it? I'd be like, look, this is what we do. We're men.
Do you have a specific sink or is it just all sinks? All sinks. Yeah, kitchen sink, no problem.
After I do the dishes, give myself a little reward. I would love to see a urinal built into this studio right here.
Backed over in that corner. That's a good spot for it.
That would be a good spot. Alright, my hot seat is Max.
Max, you're on the hot seat. Oh, I isn't this isn't a college basketball show no it's not oh you have so many losses you don't even know what you're on the hot seat for i know what it's for you're on the hot seat because the philadelphia water dogs are now the team the water dogs are in philadelphia and uh so they announced all the that was a good clap jake no one.
It's more of a boo. So we've been given Philadelphia as the home of the Waterdogs, fitting that we finished second last year.
Max, every time that we lose, it's your ass. No, now we band together as a group to root for Philadelphia.
Oh, I band together to root for the Water Dogs? Okay.

Mm-hmm. Valid.
Valid counter. I just had a question, but you answered.
I forgot what place that the Philadelphia Water Dogs position last year. Second.
So we're the Philadelphia Water Dogs. I love it.
I love it. Philly Philly.
When Paul Rabel was talking me through the different options, I was like, it'd be weird if, you know, like Boston or D.C. or I think it was Great Lakes maybe for the Midwest region.
I was like, why don't we just put this all on max? That seems – I'm happy to have them. I'm happy to have the dogs.
I'm happy to ride with my guys. I'm happy to blame you.
I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go to battle for my guys.
I don't think you are. I am.
I'm very excited about this because Philly's a great sports town. Great sports town.
Philly's a passionate sports fans such as yourself, Max. I would like to see an SEC-type atmosphere, kind of like the bank, kind of like a JV version of the bank.
It would be a shame if we started throwing batteries at the Whipsnakes. We don't do that anymore.
Why did I say it? Do you want to replay what i just said yeah that would be it would be a shame but it would be a real shame if we did a pardon my take battery giveaway i would actually for one of the game i would like our stadium to be like the uh the safe space for philly fans to be able to do all the stuff they used to do no i want them to like wow yeah yeah yeah we should, yeah. We should bring Santa Claus out every halftime and have the crowd just boom.
Just get it out of your system. Yeah.
We want the nastiest fans in the world. I like that.
I like that a lot. Trash.
You don't have to do anything. Yeah.
I want exclusively Philly trash after these games. No one likes this.
You literally just have to open your eyes. And you open your eyes every day, and it's trash.
Okay, fine. Max, this is exciting.
Yeah, no, I'm excited. I'm excited.
Water dogs. I love my water dogs.
My boys are going to be fired up to play in Philly. This group is going to be fired up for Philly sports.
It's going to be awesome. The correct way to pronounce is the fluffy water dogs.
Water dogs. Fluffy water dogs.
Fluffy? Fluffy Water Dogs. You're just saying different letters.
It's the Fluffy Water Dogs. That's how you say it in Philadelphia.
Fluffy? The Fluffy Water Dogs. Yeah, I don't think anyone says Fluffy.
It sounds like Fluffy when they say it. I like the Fluffy Eagles.
Like the Philadelphia? Yeah, yeah. Kind of like that.
That's not Fluffy. If you're drunk enough, it sounds like Fluffy Eagles.
I'm excited. I'm excited.
All right, so big announcement. Yeah, that's great.
My cool throne is Giancarlo Stanton. So he now gets a pass to be injured because Brian Cashman did a press conference, and Brian Cashman said, talking about Giancarloman said, we try talking about John Carlos in.

We try to limit the time he's down,

but I'm not going to tell you he's going to play every game next year

because he's not.

He's going to wind up getting hurt again,

more likely than not because it seems to be part of his game.

What a quote.

So in this,

in this press conference,

was this the same one where he's just standing outside,

like yelling at reporters?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It seems like he's a,

that's a man that knows he might get fired soon. Yeah.
Yeah. So you see the agent's response? No.
What did he say? Stanton's agent responded today. I read the context of the entire interview.
I think it's a good reminder for all free agents considering signing in New York, both foreign and domestic, that to play for the team, you've got to be made of Teflon, both mentally and physically, because you can never let your guard down, even in the offseason. Cashman might be trying to get fired.
That's what I'm saying. It's a man that knows that.
Actually, I think he might. I think he might want to get fired, because if you're the GM of the Yankees and you don't win a World Series, everyone's like, this guy's a clown.
And anything less than that, and you lose a lot. You haven't won a World Series in a long time.
So it seems like a thankless job. You usually don't give a big like media press conference outside what what appears to be like, I don't know, a strip of like street side restaurants.
Yes. In front of the media screaming at everybody.
If you're very secure in your job. Yes.
Yes. All right.
So I look forward to more cashman quotes if he's trying to get fired.

Jake.

My hot seat is the New Orleans Pelicans.

Zion Williamson, first overall pick, superstar.

Told the media he's, quote,

trying his best to buy in right now.

So that sounds very optimistic. Someone quoted you and said he should try to buy an oxygen mask

because he was breathing really heavy during that press conference,

and I laughed.

Would you consider Zion Williamson to be a superstar?

No.

No.

I don't think I would.

I don't think he's played enough games to be a superstar.

There's no way he's a superstar.

Even though I would have just said superstar.

He is not a superstar.

That's why I wanted to address it because I feel like he is called a superstar a lot,

but I don't think that he is.

Superstars play.

What other player has torn through their shoe and affected a stock? He was a college superstar. I absolutely agree with that.
Yeah. He was definitely a college superstar.
He won a championship, right? Yeah, that team was loaded. Yeah, they were really good.
And your cool throne? My cool throne is lucky underwear during the manning cast patrick mahomes told the mannings that he's worn the same pair of underwear for his entire nfl career every game that was fucked up too how he predicted that so perfectly he knew that that that did you see the clip he the eli manning was like uh i think the broncos were like first and goal on the 10 he's like are they gonna score going to score a touchdown and how? And he's like, they're going to run. They're going to run.
They're going to do a play action pass and score. Literally exactly how it went down.
Yeah, pretty sick. Also, to your point earlier, PFT, I'm going to say Eagles Chiefs Monday Night Football is going to be the highest rated game of the season moving forward.
Also, there's potential of Taylor appearing in primetime standalone. It has to be Super Bowl rematch.
And she's a Philly girl. I mean, it has to be the highest rated game of the year, right? Yeah.
Good call. Ratings of the year.
Yeah. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We've got two of them.
Great ones. Carissa Thompson in studio and Bruce Bochy.
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me okay we now welcome on our very good friend,

recurring guest, third time on.

It is Carissa Thompson.

You can see her on Thursday Night Football,

Amazon Prime.

Let's start with that.

I'm not in my prime,

and this is the third time I've been on?

You are in your prime.

Yeah, the first time was when you came on.

We got every single fact about your life wrong. Yeah, you did.
You said you went you went to Washington State we called Larry David you didn't let us talk to Larry David second time was um in your office in California with uh EA so it was you and Aaron were on the show great time so this is number three we're back on our home turf again factually wrong though I know that this is your podcast so I'm gonna shut up and let you ask the questions but you know the first time we all met it wasn't your podcast yet it was on the set oh sports live before you guys had a dollar and now i'm in this bazillion dollar studio 20 actually 20 bazillion dollars i didn't want to put your business in the streets but if you want to tell people again how rich you are yeah so bravo to you guys the first time you were on part of my take i remember we were in three different locations i was in like my new york apartment i think big cat might have been in san francisco for some reason you were in hollywood hills hobnobbing with the big shots and as i normally do i remember my washer and dryer was right behind me because that was also my kitchen yeah that's right yeah just reached in for clean laundry and your top ramen but you guys have come a long ways we have wait so i actually i i try to black out uh the spelling bee because it was kind of embarrassing um was that a low point for you in your career no that was a high point we went opposite directions we walked in i remember it was so sad because we walked into Fox Sports and there was like a timed union dinner and everyone left. That's true.
And we're like, who's going to run the cameras? And they're like, we'll let one guy stay. So it was like one guy, Carissa, me, Dave, and Hank standing there being like, what are we doing? It was fantastic.
So for those of you that were born, I don't know, recently, Fox Sports Live was the first program on FS1 when it became a cable entity. And we had no idea what we were doing.
But I still reference that show regularly because the shit that we got away with was phenomenal. Yeah.
Gary Payton openly referencing like I jerked off $30 million and Andy Roddick saying what's the other hand for? Like it is one of the greatest moments that no one saw on television. We had so much fun.
It was Gary Payton, Donovan McNabb, Andy Roddick. Gabe Kapler was on it as well.
And the show didn't do as well as we wanted, but you guys were a highlight. And I'm just very proud of how far you've come.
I remember the whole time just being like, Carissa probably is like, why? She's going to call her agent after this and be like, what did you just sign me up for? This is crazy. On the contrary.
I've just watched from afar. You guys continue to succeed.
Yeah. What would you say is the low point in your career? Oh, God.
Low point in my career? Probably when I said play cock instead of play clock at a Minnesota Gophers game when I was looking for the Big Ten Network. Because it was so cold outside.
And I kept saying the word over and over again because i tried to correct it and then at this point i was like back to you tom like i'm saying talk 10 times i was like i'm gonna be fired there's no way i am gonna continue in this industry but yeah that wasn't a highlight they have a word with you after that were they like did you do that on purpose no they i mean they understood you know the minutes like it was outside right yeah like there wasn't a dome at the old gophers game yeah so they understood that i was freezing but they were like hey maybe next time like if you get it the word wrong on accident maybe don't keep saying it timer i also like i it's maybe because we've been around media for so long now and been doing this i my uh respect for sideline uh analysts and and people who are they cutting to has grown exponentially because you guys get like no time and you have to nail it and it's like we're gonna go to you 20 seconds you got to get everything out all this information and i would i would do that i'd play say play clock cock every time there is a reason that I am no longer a sideline reporter and I say this to Aaron Andrews all the time.

I'm like, you prep all week long.

You have all these calls with players.

You have all these calls with coaches.

You have all this for 15 to 20 seconds

and then half the time it's not even on camera.

It's just like a report.

So I'm like, the ROI on the amount of work

that you put in versus what you actually see, I give them so much respect and there's a reason that i don't do that yeah yeah i would just freeze every time they send it to me like wait i'm on okay and they're like all right that's all time's up yeah joe back to you the details with like how you hold the mic each reporter's got like a different grip on it do i go two finger do i go three do i do the extended pinky like which way you have to make sure that the mic flag is pointed directly at the camera. And there's a lot of red meat, too, because it's like a break in the action.
So if you screw up anything, that's all anybody talks about for the next five minutes on Twitter. It's a big like what's where's the upside? Like, you're only going to fail in that situation.
Yeah, I just talked to Mike Tomlin. He says that we need to go out in the second half and compete.
I and I've said this before, so I haven't been fired for saying it, but I'll say it again. I would make up the report sometimes because A, the coach wouldn't come out at halftime or it was too late.
And I was like, I didn't want to screw up the report. So I was like, I'm just going to make this up because first of all, no coach is going to get mad if I say, hey, we need to stop hurting ourselves.
We need to be better on third down we need to stop turning the ball over quarterback we need yeah exactly and and do a better job of getting off the field like they're not going to correct me on that I'm like it's fine I'll just make up the report it would be very funny if you were like yeah so I just spoke with Arthur Smith at halftime and he said B. John Robinson blew smoke in his face yeah he's not getting the ball yeah that would be funny if you know what like I would go back and do sidelines if I could make it up.
You know Best in Show? How funny that show was because of the stuff that... What's the actor...
What's the guy's... Kenzo Washington.
No, incorrect. Whoever the main actor is.
No, that's incorrect. Yes.
Michael McCann. Okay.
Anyways, the guy that plays, who's the actor, I passed away in best in show and chris myers is like a spot-on like version of him in the real but the dog show doesn't let you have fun no yeah that's the only reason i wouldn't want to do the show yeah we got kicked out of the dog show well i got we also been kicked out of a lot of well we also faked the credential i got arrested at the dog show i didn't hear about that yeah that was actually the highlight of my career that might be the low light of most people shut up but i got arrested and I was put into the dog show. I didn't hear about that.
Yeah, that was actually the highlight of my career. That might be the low light of most people.
Shut up. But I got arrested and I was put into a holding cell.
No, you were not. Like a dog kennel? Yeah, they basically put me downstairs where the Great Danes were.
They're like, stay in here. The Department of Homeland Security started asking me questions because they thought that we had fake credentials to get in.
Phenomenal. They thought that we were terrorists.
I was like, I honestly- That's not funny. I wanted to come in here and pet dogs.
And the funny thing was, it wasn't even really for content. No.
We just wanted to hang out with dogs. We showed up with fake credentials.
I want to work here. They were bad fake credentials.
Wait, I think Amazon Prime for Thursday Night Football spiced it up a little. We should have two truths and a lie sideline reporter.
They're going to make up one up one and you guys have to guess i might do that in the post game show depending on how this game goes here on thursday so no problem we're taping this before bears panthers we probably run this next week which but we got we you guys have black friday too jets dolphins yep um bears panthers yeah i'm sorry no hey look it's the only game on i always look at it like this this is also why I've gambled in the past like I don't care about basketball game four in the NBA season but I care if I put money on it right so it's the only game on it's prime time what else are you doing so even if the teams maybe aren't as great as you want and the matchup's not ideal it's still the NFL and it's football it's also Thursday nightursday night football i love it because it's like the unofficial kickoff to the weekend you're like all right here we go we have all the football ahead of us because i'm so dumb that like when monday rolls around i'm watching my football like oh man it's over three days so we get football yeah see now we're being optimistic yeah it's a beautiful it's the father in you yeah it's like kickoff we remember when you You've had no children. You're all grown up now.
I know. I know.
I'm just a lot more tired. All Yeah.
It's a beautiful father in you. Yeah.
It's like kickoff. We remember when you had no children,

you're all grown up now.

I know.

Yeah.

I'm just a lot more tired.

All right.

So Thursday night football on Amazon prime.

It seems like you guys have an awesome time.

The best.

Seems like you guys have a really fun time.

How has it been like in terms of place spot in your career,

like getting to work with all these people?

Cause the,

the entire panel is just like characters.

So shout out to Amazon for giving us the runway to be ourselves right i mean you guys i don't need

to tell you you've made a very good living off of being yourselves and when a an employer allows

you that same as at fox like they've always let me be who i am good bad or indifferent and amazon

does the same thing fitz is ripping off his shirt you know in Buffalo and Whit is carrying Kevin Hart off the set like there's just they let us be us and I think hopefully the viewer sees that it's authentic because we aren't polished and we're not I mean there's a time and a place to be professional but at the end of the day it's football it's fun and it's not that serious so balancing information and entertainment is sort of the perfect 50 50 goal and that's hopefully what we do every week are you allowed to cuss on the broadcast uh are you allowed to uh i think it's frowned upon but uh if it's if it's if uh you know a four-letter word slips out every now and then i'm sure it's not the biggest deal but i don't think they encourage it it would just be awesome if, especially for a game like this. You were like, welcome back to Thursday night fucking football.
Yeah. You want me to do it? You should never dare me to do anything.
I know. Because I'll try it once, probably twice.
Boy, does this game fucking suck. Oh, that was a nice slip in there.
Hey, I got jokes, guys. Maybe you got a new boyfriend.
I do. I have a great boyfriend because I was a terrible scout.
I should never be a GM. I think i'm good i did like first rounders and they end up being total bust so i now don't pick my boyfriends and actually someone else did so what is it like dating ryan rusillo ryan rusillo and i are finally together after all these years he is my brother and this is the kind of relationship we have i know everyone yeah i remember van pelt was always like you and rusillo should get together So I'm like, he's like my brother.
You guys are going to end up together in the end. relationship we have.
I know everyone, I remember Van Pelt was always like, you and Rosilla should get together.

He's like my brother.

You guys are going to end up together in the end.

Do you have a pact where if you're both 60 and single,

listen, if you're both 60 and single,

will you marry Ryan Rosilla?

No, because he's like my brother

and I'm just not into marrying my siblings.

Friend zone's so hard.

No, it's not a friend zone.

He would feel the same way.

He'd be like, there's no way I could marry my sister.

We're just like too close. I heard that so much in eighth grade.
We're just too close to friends. I don't want to ruin it.
Eighth grade. But sometimes.
No, I'm just kidding. Wait, so who picked your new boyfriend? Matthew Stafford and Kelly.
Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, they were like, Carissa, you've dated some real losers and married some.
So we're going to pick your next one. And I just thought it was like a rebound.
I was like, this is cool. Like, I'll date this guy.

He's chill, easygoing.

And then, actually, it's my longest relationship I've ever been in.

So, a happy relationship.

Love it.

You know, we've had some real bad ones.

But, yeah.

Well, we got to meet him to approve.

You would approve.

Yeah, maybe Super Bowl week we'll meet him.

Yeah.

We'll give him, you know, the ocular pat down.

I'm going to get him hammered and try to have some tough conversations with him.

Hard-hitting questions.

I'll do truth and a lie. That's what you should have the game come up with.
Yeah, I'm going to get him hammered and try to have some tough conversations with him. Hard-hitting questions.

All two truths and a lie, that's what you should have the game come up with.

Yeah, I'm going to get him hammered and be like,

hey, Rusillo was talking a lot of shit about you.

You should probably step to him.

Yeah, get him hammered and just talk about how handsome Rusillo is.

No, you guys, you know what?

How much do you squat?

Because Rusillo squats like 450.

Ryan is fucking jacked.

We need to get Rusillo out of the house. His house

is almost as nice as your guys' studio.

Yeah, we went to it.

This guy's rich too. What's going on? I still

have 75 jobs and you guys have

the best ones and are loaded. I actually think that

Rosillo would be great in prison. He would

love that. Wow.
There's a headline.

Think about it because he doesn't

really go outside that much.

As long as prison had league pass. Yeah.
And weights. Yeah.
So obviously prison has weights, so you just work out, eat, and then watch basketball all day. Tales from the prison yard.
Yeah. He's actually in prison right now, just in a $10 million house.
Yeah. That's cool.
He's like Pablo Escobar. All right.
I actually, I got a question for you. We play this game with every guest that sits down.
Oh, so I'm down oh so i'm not special okay god no but it's like a recurring thing that you do you know you guys have bits that you do on on thursday football um you have a gun and there's one bullet in your gun and you have to shoot somebody do you shoot aaron andrews or do you shoot jeff bezos oh where am i shooting them in the head in the face oh jesus yeah in Kill shot. Oh my God, you play this with everyone? Back in the head.
We ask the same question to everybody. Execution style.
Everyone always says Bezos, by the way. I would never kill Jeff.
He signs my check. Okay, so that's me, Aaron.
So bye. No, because she would know.
No, I would never kill Aaron. This is hard.
You have to answer this? Yeah, but if you don't shoot anybody or you try to shoot yourself, then everybody dies. Oh.
Yeah, I'd shoot myself. That's smart.
Then we're all going down together. Yeah.
And Jeff. We're all, yeah.
I'd rather take us all out than have to pick. Yeah.
That's beautiful. Versa Thompson wants to murder Aaron Andrews and Jeff Bezos.
Myself, Aaron, and Jeff. Okay.
But we'll all be in heaven together in a really nice house. Yeah, that's true.
Who do you think? That would actually suck because Jeff Bezos would definitely get the first billing in that, right? Yeah, because it would be his house. Yeah.
Yeah. Jeff Bezos dies, also present Aaron Andrews.
Oh, yeah. We're always the others.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your podcast with Aaron, though, probably would go top of the charts. Fine.
Then death it is. It's like when a musician dies and everyone just listens to all their music that week.
There we go.

Yeah.

People should die more.

We've recorded episodes.

This is Al Michaels calling right now. Oh, he didn't let us talk to Larry David.

Do you want to talk to Al?

Yeah, yeah.

Al, don't say anything.

You're on speakerphone.

Say hi to the Pardon My Take guys.

Hi, Al.

Wait a minute.

Are you on the air?

I am.

So say hi.

To Pardon My Take? Yeah. I have a lot of bills.
Yeah. Okay, say goodbye before we both get fired.
By the way, you are not coming back tomorrow, right? What are you doing? Where are you going tomorrow? Yeah, I'm coming back to L.A. Oh, with me, right? Yeah, we're all coming back together.
You? You've already kicked me off the plane. No, no, no.
Amina you me kaylee and jared i'll go to la perfect oh wait we got eric and dan too yeah yeah we'll go we'll go well look at that we have a party yeah yeah we love you al i'm going to la anyway so we'll catch up 24 hour party yeah yeah it's my listen everybody calm down oh this guy he's good everyone al can you just say real quick the bears are back the cow bears no the bears that's how we need to end this conversation i love you i love you i'll see you i've got nothing better than that aloha damn it it. I was so close.
He said the cowbears? Cowbears. Jake Marsh's jaw was on the floor of that entire phone call.
Yeah, he's obsessed with Al Michaels. So am I.
Big Al Michaels fan. So am I.
And this is how sweet Al is, probably because he feels bad for all of us peasants. He lets us fly back with him.
It's a little PJ talk. On his, yeah, yeah.
It's a little PJ talk. Big Cotton PFC when I'm calling.
Good game So you guys are on my PJ. Oh, thank you.
Thank you. We're going to be on his PJ.
Herbie gets a PJ too, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, so I saw a tweet from Herbie yesterday. He does travel a lot.
He's got his dog with him on the plane now. Yeah.
And he said that his dog just got certified as an emotional support animal. That feels like a fake emotional support animal to me.
It feels like he just wanted his dog to be able like he just wanted his dog don't have to do that for a pj yeah that's probably true yeah yeah but i'm definitely don't i'm not going to question the authenticity of ben because ben can do no that's the dog's name yeah i'm pro ben what i'd like to because i'm going to turn this around and open this discussion up for the fake pre-borders. Those are the people I want credentials on.
Yeah. You got to show me the handicap.
I'm all for you having to get on the plane early, but you look like you're walking fine. Yeah.
You look just- You're talking to me right now. I walk- I slip in.
You're that guy. Yeah, I slip in.
You're the guy that's like, oh, I've got kids. I got to get on early.
No, I don't say anything. You just slip in.
With all your children? No, by myself. You're a fake pre-order.
Yeah. Who are these people? Pickett's always been like a group three is called, and he's like way back in the day.
If he's group five. Oh, yeah.
This one's not group three. They don't say anything.
They don't say anything. No, the best is the group sevens that are hovering around the entrance.
Yeah, I don't love it. Now, I'm the asshole that's got to be like, hey, what group are you? And they're like, seven.
And I'm like, oh, sorry. Can I get by? And then it's like, oh, I'm an asshole because I'm in first class.
I've been in 32B most of my life. You got to be right.
I'm moonwalking into first class at this point. I'd never hover.
It's literally just as soon as they start boarding the very first person. I'm like, all right, let's go.
You're a fake pre-boarder. You know what? No, it's not.
I'm sitting first class. How long have I known you? Ten years.
Pretty easy. I have no problem with it.
They never say anything. It's a hack in the system.
Yeah, because then we're not supposed to question if you actually have a handicap. Question all the rules.
Steve Jobs taught me that. Oh, God.
I don't know if Steve Jobs said that. One time I had a guitar and they told me you can get on with the pre-board.
And I did. I started- Why? Because you have an instrument? Yeah, they said, sir, you have a guitar.
You obviously need that to function in society. You're a weird guy.
So I went up to the front and then a line behind me formed. I was the first person pre-board.
Everybody behind me was a veteran. I don't go in front of veterans.
No, they got behind me and they looked at me. I was like, I got the guitar.
They have like Vietnam hats on and I'm like, it's a Gibson. You're an asshole they told me to i don't go in front of veterans no i don't go in for the flight attendant told me to i don't go in front of veterans if they say boarding group one is boarding and i'm group two i will get in the back of group one they're gonna get to two i know how numbers work you are everything wrong with this no not at all with society not at all society with life yeah yeah let's just with your generation i like when people do that uh wait so i want to go back because you you said that so matthew stafford and kelly hooked you up but you also kind of hooked up taylor swift and travis kelsey no i can't take we can't take credit for that no take credit no do it because we want a clip and we'll just put it.
Oh, for social? Yeah. No, Travis was very sweet and he said, I owe you guys big time.
Now, this is how this whole deal played out was Aaron and I have known Travis, you know, forever and he's been so great to us. He bought Aaron a baby present when she had Mac.
Like that's... That's the line of...
A demarcation of being a good guy? Yeah, when I didn't buy you a baby gift, I'm a bad person. You think O.J.
Simpson ever bought a baby present? Probably. Let's not...
Why are we gonna... That's where you go? You go, okay, you're just throwing.
That's a very loose line. There's a lot more to life than buying somebody a present.
Yeah, being like, he's a great guy. He bought a baby present.
You are Travis Kelsey. You don't even...
He doesn't even have to know that Aaron had a baby, but he took the time but a baby it's his pre-tailor that's not true how do we know that what was the yeah so they got some are saying that travis knew that if he did this that you would go on a podcast yeah because it really matters all right travis is a great guy we wanted him to be with someone great we love taylor swift so the whole story know, he was telling it on his podcast to his brother about how he had made the friendship bracelet with his phone number on it. He couldn't give it to her.
Okay, we all know that. And we were like, you have to give Taylor, like give Travis a try.
This was like months before they ended up getting together. So in sort of a tongue in cheek way, I think he was like, I owe you guys big time.
We had nothing to do with with it but we will gladly take credit for things we did not do okay can you hook maybe hank up with somebody yeah he's always singing sexy red okay so what he's always like my booty hole brown he says all the time right so do you think maybe you could put the word out to sexy red like hank lockwood single ready to mingle sure ice spice what what i don't know ice spice yeah Taylor knows Ice Spice. name or something i don't know i'm happy to play matchmaker i love love even if i've been terrible at it in the past do you think hank would be cute with what's his type everything everything oh wow that narrows a big small tall short i like that equal opportunity he loves big women i know that Yeah.
We're going to get back to Carissa Thompson in a second. She's being brought to you by Chevy.
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And now, here's more Carissa Thompson.

Who has been your favorite guest?

Favorite guest of all time.

I'll ask the questions around here.

Well, we have our consistent crew of recurring guests that we love.

And there's like, you know, Rousselo's in there.

Back Prescott.

Scott Van Pelt.

Blake Bortles.

Blake Griffin. So you can't pick a favorite.
Who's your favorite kid? Let's do the Dion. Who's your favorite kid? My daughter.
Easy. Okay.
No problem. Well, because it's your only girl.
Well, yeah. And everyone always asks me that.
Like, they're getting a trump card and I just am like, my daughter. Yeah, I would say.
Oh, she's kind of like- Like, I have a favorite dog. I love both of my dogs, but Willis is my favorite because he's the OG and he's been there the longest.
So- Oh, what's your other dog's name? Daisy. He knows.
She knows. Yeah.
He's she. She knows.
Yeah. Is she? Yeah, it's a she.
Well, I felt bad because I bought Willis and I was like, I'm a dick. I need to adopt a dog because I believe that all dogs, hence the proceeds for Ruby Ranch, are going to the dog rescue that I'm going to start on the ranch because I was like, oh, I need to adopt a dog.
And she's the sweetest dog in the world. And then the dog that I bought is a dick, but I love him because he knows that i bought him yeah and he's like i'm rich and yeah you're poor yeah yeah right wait so the ranch we got to get some stella blue coffee there because i have a coffee yes i would love dogs but tell us about the ranch you bought a ranch yes uh because i watched yellowstone i was that chick that was like oh now i want a ranch so i looked for a time.
I found this awesome property and I'm renovating it currently. And then I'm going to just bring all the dogs that I can onto the ranch.
I have cattle there right now. I have a pig.
I've got a horse. And I'm just going to turn into a big animal rescue because I'm a shitty person in a lot of ways.
But this is like my good deed. This is my, you know, my deposit back into life.
So you're the happiest place on earth. It really is.
You know, I called it Ruby Ranch because it is there's no place like home and it's my version of Disneyland. It's just animals running free and like.
My vision of retirement is just having kind of a ranch or a farm with a whole bunch of animals and just hanging out on my porch. It's throwing a ball.
Okay, then come to Ruby Ranch. Me, you, Rosillo, you're welcome to come.
I'll come, I'll come. they'll love the animals bunch of bunch of chickens they have fresh eggs in the morning it's awesome it's like the best like look at this point professionally and like personally we've done a bunch of different stuff we've been when i used to work in entertainment you're like okay you go to the oscars you go do super bowls like you've done all these things and then i feel like as i get older i want to do less and less and less and like go to the middle of nowhere and talk to no one so have you been able to do less like this I actually am very curious about we talk about it every now and then allude to it like someday we won't someday everything ends I look at it like this as long as I have opportunities to stay employed I want to stay employed as long as I can because I love my job like it doesn't feel like work? I'm sure you guys feel exactly the same way.
So hence why I'm very fortunate that Fox lets me also work at Amazon. Amazon lets me work at Fox.
I get to do the podcast. I started an interior design company during COVID.
I just like to do a lot of things if the opportunities are there, but I also know that those will go away one day. So then at that point, I'll just disappear on the ranch.
And I always think about it like this. Like if you're on the bull, stay on until that thing bucks you and then be like, peace.
That's a great setup. As long as people are still giving you money to do an insane job that you love.
Why would I be dumb to leave? 100%. And then at the end of the day, you're like, I'm just going to go hang out with the animals now.
See you. Bye, humans.
That's a great, you set it up perfectly. But this is why i have so much respect for people like barry sanders or an andrew luck who like walked away from a game where they could make so much money especially you know nowadays with andrew luck you know more recent i know the paychecks weren't the same for barry back in the day but like the guys that walk away from that and i know it's not just about money but for me right now it is like paying bills and like stockpiling cash and then disappearing yeah that's the problem for us like we'll never stop doing this because if we said we're going to retire tomorrow like sunday i'd text bft and be like you want to watch some football if i had told you guys like 10 years ago when you're on the set what during the union break with the best union line ever was one of the guys goes they're like okay five minute break he goes you can't take a five minute break in six minutes.
And I was like, that's the union right there in a nutshell. But if I would have told you guys 10 years ago while you were sitting there not spelling the words correctly that you would be here, you wouldn't probably have believed it.
No, it's been a dream. Why have you guys been so successful? Do you think? So, um, I mean, there's a lot to that.
A lot of it does have to do have to do with timing i would say luck yeah a lot of it has to do with timing because we started a podcast before everybody had a podcast yeah there were some i had a shot at aaron and i yep yeah um it was a shot at you on the fuck down again i love aaron she's the best um but yeah like everybody has a podcast now yeah and not there wasn't that much competition to like mainstream sports talk radio mainstream you know television that you watch in the mornings so we kind of were in the right place at the right time yeah and i think we tapped into a way of watching sports that a lot of people really missed which was they're supposed to be fun and you're supposed to be able to make jokes and you're not supposed to take it too seriously and And I think also when we started, our production value was like nothing, right? And so people liked that. It was refreshing because you don't want to watch people talk about sports wearing a suit in a studio, being super professional.
It's like, that's not how people talk about the game. But that's also what I like about Amazon and even Fox too, where it's like, yeah, it's a little bit more professional at Fox just because they are are in a studio but you don't have to wear a tie and for Amazon like it's just Fitz is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like right you know just being authentically yourself is cool too yeah and the great thing with like Terry and Jimmy is you can put them in a suit but that doesn't mean that they're gonna be buttoned up and stuff but how have you guys navigated in the cancel culture that we live in like how do you feel like you've been able to sort of dodge these landmines that exist that you're i i feel like this like people are waiting for you to mess up yeah back to the aforementioned like sideline thing like you do one thing wrong and it's like it doesn't i know this all too well like things don't leave the internet and like really bad shits happen to me and it's like people can still see that and like i was a

victim of something really shitty but like people still take shots like it's my fault that like my

phone got hacked right so it's like there's all these landmines out there that you kind of have

to navigate and how have you guys done that with success and not been canceled i think it honestly

and people will that we've we've said this many times before and people like oh you guys are just

saying this to say this but getting canceled on espn was the best thing to happen to us because

I'm sorry. and people will that we've we've said this many times before and people like oh you guys are just saying this to say this but getting canceled on espn was the best thing to happen to us because you guys know my thoughts on all that yeah we started at this like you know progression where we started the show it got really big way bigger than we thought very fast and then it was like all right what's the next step oh we got to get a tv show then that all comes crumbling down and as disappointed as we were in the moment we both and hank included had the epiphany of like our audience will go anywhere

for us our audience they're coming for you guys right they will be here for us we don't need to

go to some other platform we don't need to take this step up in like you know being on tv or doing

something else we can do what we want to do in our world and our audience will back us and so i think

Thank you. up in like you know being on tv or doing something else we can do what we want to do in our world and our audience will back us and so i think having that like we almost have like this little island that we can't be touched obviously there's things that could touch us not saying that like you know anyway of course yeah yeah but i think we put up so many years of of content that people have enjoyed and they've been with us for so long that we we know we know what we have and we're happy with it and we don't have to try to look for the next best thing.
Well, that's where you always go. You know, the guys over at Fox have been together for 30 years.
You can consume sports anywhere now, right? Your phone, watch a show, don't watch a show, listen to the podcast, but you are coming for the people and investing in people. And even we had Dan Patrick on our podcast and just those were the heydays of espn because it was about the bermans it was about the you know rich eyes and it was about the individuals and the sports were secondary and like that shift is now it's like and that's you know everyone has like a changing of the guards with whatever they're doing and i don't know what's going on over there because i don't work there anymore but i love people right that's even for me like with sports teams like yes i have fandom being from seattle and i root for seattle teams but like i still root for individuals if they go somewhere else right right and it really does come down to like there's something very uh freeing about realizing that what you have is awesome and not saying oh i need the next thing next thing.
And the grass is greener and that stuff. Like except in relationships, I'm always looking for the next best thing.
I'm kidding. Yeah.
Steve, I love you. Yeah, Steve, we love you.
That's remaining to be seen. That's a cute name for Ryan.
Just call him Steve. You guys really want me to be together with Ryan? We'll have a fake wedding.
No, it's fine. Like when people's dogs get married to each other, you're going to do a fake wedding with Riscilla.
I wish some of my weddings were fake, you know?

Would have saved me a lot of money.

When you say some of my weddings, that's always a good sign.

Hey, look, guys, you know, in life you have to own who you are.

There's many chapters to my story, and I'm good with all of them.

Yes.

Does any fan base hate you?

Oh, I'm sure. Is there one that you like? You mean like a city? Yeah, like a city.
Yeah, that you hear from. I don't know.
Maybe now. I don't know.
I don't think that there's one. I haven't.
We can find one for you. Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah, let's talk about it. What do you think about Dak Prescott? Oh, I have no problem with Dak Prescott.
I think he's in an unenviable position, but also a great position. If you're the quarterback for America's team, the good comes with the bad.
I don't ever feel sorry for people that are in positions that are enviable. What do you think about the Bills? I love the Bills.
When we went there last week or two weeks ago, whatever it was, phenomenal. What a great fucking city.
Why? You're looking for me? I'm fishing. I'm on a fishing.
No. I don't think there's a fan base that's like i have a target on my back i'm sure that there's a lot of individuals that think i'm annoying but i don't do you do you like read your comments no i stopped doing that after the bad thing happened to me because it was only gonna be whatever but i i think i told you guys this really early on in my career uh i was for that in quotes because I always feel like a dick being like my career.
Yeah. Deadspin.
You guys weren't born yet. Yeah.
Wrote an article and said, because I dyed my hair black. I remember that.
I remember that. I didn't, right? We talked about this.
I didn't want to be a Barbie on the sidelines. Now I'm like, oh God, I'd love to be a Barbie on the sidelines.
I'm going back. I dyed my hair dark and they wrote that Carissa Thompson's on a suicidal path to Frumpyville.

And I cried and I was like, oh my God, that's so mean.

And then after that, I was like, who cares?

And then they became the judges of everyone.

Isn't that funny how it works?

Bored. The people who judge the most have stuff in the past where they're like, oh yeah, I've changed as a person.

Yeah, I mean, growing up, my mom was like, you don't like everyone. Why would you think that everyone likes you? I just think that really early on, it was about if I'm going to get into this industry, be prepared for negative comments.
Someone's not going to like the way you look or like not like your hair or not like what you're wearing. Like, who cares? As long as I stay employed and the people I work with and the people I work for are good with me, then I don't really care what Joe in the basement thinks.
That's smart though. It's hard to get to that point.
I struggled with it. Did you? Yeah, of course.
When you start and you read, you know, especially when it's early internet and like, it feels like, you know, we would blog and it'd be like 20 comments every blog. So you could read them all.
And yeah, you, you definitely see it and you like it, you, you see 19 positive comments, one negative. That's the only sticks with you.
And then you got to slowly get to a point where it's like, listen, there's going to be people who hate me. It was right when Twitter came out and I didn't know how the search button on it worked.
So I put in Carissa Thompson. Oh, no.
Never did that. You guys.
No, no, no. I tweeted out my name because I didn't know how it worked.
And so then I came back and everyone like cool is that how you spell your name and I was like fuck that's embarrassing I was like looking up what people were saying about me and it was a tweet and so then that was like really early on it must when did Twitter come out like 2004 or something like nine yeah nine yeah so it was right then and then after everything bad that happened to me I was like I'm not looking at any of this crap anymore but yeah I just and I i don't say this arrogantly i just am very comfortable with you know that's why i self-deprecate about whether it's the marriage stuff or like if i have this zit on my face or what i don't really care anymore and not in a bad way i just think i'm like at a point i'm sure you guys are there too where you're comfortable with who you are and that's very liberating very liberating i saw that zit i was like she's so brave yeah i know i am i'm a hero just like us yeah stars they're just like us they're grocery shopping the biggest complaint that we get which i actually agree with now is that the cameras that we have are too high oh it's gross like oh me and big dad are not this face right here i couldn't agree more this face is meant for radio and my my voice is meant for oh how many chins am i getting over here you guys i'm not interested in seeing 4k 12k like back up blur the photo give me some film like the best pictures that we have yes about like when we looked at our parents you know photo albums they look incredible i know because it's blurry it's basically a filter now is like what photographs were back in the day i do not want and back the camera up why are we so and unlike you you probably have a great team uh at fox and amazon our team loves to just like if we take a bad picture that's the thumbnail that's the something yeah they're like wait no you know who does that articles do that why do they pull like a random getty image when you're like mid-conversation or again like i took one picture at a fanatics party like five years ago you can't fat and everyone uses it and you're gonna use it right you're like dude i don't look like that anymore i know i had this one no i look fatter but yeah you're stupid i had a wearing like it was like my first headshot when i worked for the colorado rockies and i was in this brown suit and i saved up all my money and bought it at express and i thought i was like killing it that i couldn't get rid of that stupid picture for like 20 years so our guys go worse they actually take pictures of us and then they go in and they photoshop them to make us worse look even worse they do they'll make people work for you yeah dead serious they will fire them they will make us fatter yeah they will put our eyes bags under our eyes the best though and especially like now in like the filter days or you know editing photos or something and someone's like oh you look great there i'm like yeah because that's not what i look like and i don't care i don't want to know what i look like anymore when your phone's like face not recognized i'm like perfect oh yeah some shits change although i did i was doing way too much botox for a while and i was like i look like a cat like we need to stop with this and bring it down a notch my mom goes what are we doing here like that's the thing where you like realize you're like yeah so it's also funny when people just don't understand how age works they'll like see a picture of me from seven years ago they'll be like damn what happened i'm like seven years dude what do you mean what happened like seven years right exactly yeah uh i have three children seven years and i'm really rich my favorite calling coward line was someone said to him they were like how do you sleep at night with the things you say and he's like next to a really hot redhead on a bed full of money and it's like I'm good like that's how I sleep. That's a coward thing to say um all right well I know you are pressed for time this has been awesome.
No I'm not I have nothing to do. Oh okay so you can stay forever.
Perfect you do the whole show with us. No I will get out of here.
I love you guys. I'm so proud of you.
I really am. On our way over here with Fitz and

Whit, I know you're going to talk to him next, but

I was just saying, good for you guys.

Appreciate it. I'm proud of you too.
And you've done it

your way, so it's good for you guys. It's always nice

having friends on who we've known

for a very long time and just seeing it.

It's just great. It's fun.
I'm really proud of you guys.

And I will take some of that coffee. That's awesome.

Yes. Yes.
You get some of the coffee. I have one last

question. Roback question.
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Promo code take. What night are we going to go out Super Bowl week in Vegas? All of them.
No, I can't do all of them. I only can do one.
So we don't have the game this year. So Fox has it two of the three years.
We had it last year and we'll have it next next year so this is sort of my free year because i don't actually have to do the broadcast so i'm down for all of them wednesday night yeah we'll figure it out wednesday is usually pretty good yeah maybe thursday too maybe get a pack of heaters smoke up johnny real banner you're at the bender household it's just i can't do vegas is gonna kill me actually new orleans is gonna kill me next year yeah got to be more disciplined on that one. We went to the Final Four in New Orleans a few years ago.
The last day we were in there, we were there for like six days. I'm not joking.
I took a walk. I just walked for seven miles away from the hotel and then seven miles back because I was so bloated and felt so crappy.
Wait, you get in more trouble in New Orleans than you do in Vegas? Yeah, because the food. Yeah, the drinks too, the hand grenades, and then just- The hurricanes.
You just have side of gumbo with everything. Yeah, you can smoke cigs inside in New Orleans.
It's crazy. Wait, because Witt's coming in here.
Witt, of course, being from Louisiana, when we were down there, he ate so much because he went out with David Chang's on our show as well, who, I don't, incredible, you know, Michelin chef and has done more in his life than I'll ever do but him and Whit went out and they ate at every place in town it's like I feel so sick I would start every day be like oh yeah why why wouldn't I have five beignets with my coffee you look great no I don't but that's okay uh Carissa you're the best love you guys thank you coming on thank you for stopping by thanks for and by the way next podcast we're doing the fourth one or fifth one depending on how we're counting this thing we'll do it at the rant yes yeah i'm in i'm not kidding i'll get your ass up on my horse we'll chase some you know steer around and have a time i like it i like it so much i'll just pet the dogs i've been on the horse one time on the ground feet on the ground i'm gonna stay on the horse love. Bye, guys.
Love you. Carissa Thompson was brought to you by Pardon My Cheese Steak.
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The videos from that are going to be coming out shortly with Donnie and Billy over in Uganda, watching them showdown against Kenya. I think Billy gets into the game.
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Okay. We now welcome on a very special guest.
He is the manager of the Texas Rangers who just won the world series, his fourth world series. Some are saying maybe the greatest manager in MLB history.
We can maybe have that debate. It is Bruce Bochy.
I want to start by saying we just we just heard you talking to someone from your team IT team they called you Skip can we call you Skip please please yeah that works for me okay great all right well Skip how's it uh you know the dust has settled you have it a couple weeks for fourth world series where does this rank how are you feeling like in terms of oh my gosh we just did that like no one expected us to win this thing and we just won a world series by winning every game on the road yeah well i'll first uh begin with uh i mean it was a hell of a ride especially what these guys end up doing you know winning 11 consecutive games on the road against the teams that we had to play so you know they're all special and they're special in their own way but this one uh you know we we did deal with a lot and for this to happen uh it really hasn't sunk in to be honest it happened so fast and you have the parade and and i just drove to nashville it's about a 10 hour drive from dallas so i i'm being here right now. I got my wife telling me, take the trash out.
I got grandkids on me, so right now I'm just chilling, relaxing, but at some point this winter, I'm sure I'll reflect and just think how blessed I am for this to happen, especially the first year. There's so many people to thank for this.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure, Skip.
Question about coming back to Major League Baseball. So you were in Nashville.
You were enjoying life, like you said, your grandchildren, hanging out, thought you were retired. You get a call to come back and manage again.
Now, you were only out for a few years, but was there anything that changed about Major League Baseball and about managing in those short years that you were out that took you a couple weeks maybe a month or two get used to a new way of doing things well i i'll say this again yeah it changed quite a bit i think you look at the rules this was the first time i had to deal with the three batter minimum You know, initially I wasn't a big fan of it, but it's something you get used to. I always tried to, I guess, get the best matchup I could.
And so when you have a three batter pocket there, then, you know, the strategy's a little bit different. But the biggest is the clock, no question about it.
And I think it has really worked out well. I love it personally.
Keeps the game moving, action. They took the shift away.
So I think it's a better game. No doubt about it.
They're shorter. They're crisper.
It allows you to play your guys more. They don't need the days off like they used to.
There was times when would be over four four and a half hours you know nobody wants to see that you know when the game's dragging along so i think it's been good for everybody so i say that's the biggest biggest difference now as far as the players and everything you know there's some things that just won't change uh we our guys uh i mean they're great players they're competitive uh uh you competitive that part will never change the fundamentals that's never going to change in our game so you still have to do that sure they talk about analytics that was part of the game when I first started managing and I'll go back to 1995 now granted I was using colored pencils and charting out where they hit the ball and everything so it's a little bit different now but uh and so it really hasn't changed as much except for the better i think yeah yeah all right so i i have a question about this run because it was an incredible run like i mentioned off the top won every road game uh out there the i'm dumb okay so jose altuve hits that home run against you guys in game five I was like the Rangers are dead dead man walking no chance to go back to Houston and win both these games what did you say to the guys or was there a speech or was it just I trust these guys I know that we're not dead because from the outside looking at I was like you can't come back from that where you you're about to take a 3-2 lead now you have to win two games in Houston. I'll be honest.
I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be different than all the other times when we took a gut punch.
I mean, these guys just kept getting up all year. You talk about the injuries, every team deals with them, but with DeGrom and guys going down, they just kept focusing forward, but I'll go back to Seattle when we lost that last game there.
If we won one more game there, we win our division. We go home.
We have five days off, but now we've got to go to Tampa and beat those guys in their home ballpark. Didn't faze these guys.
They went to Baltimore. Didn't faze them.
I really thought the best thing for this club right now, hey, just keep doing what we're doing. That's bounce back.
They kept getting up after getting knocked down so many times. It was an extreme series, obviously, with both teams winning all road games.
These guys did it all year and it's because we had men on the team and they were able to handle it i love it dogs we had men dogs a bunch of dudes on the team yeah when they sold you to come back to and manage the rangers um i imagine that there were some conversations about the plan that was in place to be competitive i don't know if if that plan included winning a World Series in year one. That probably would have been a lofty and ambitious goal for you.
But how quickly did you expect to compete? I'll be honest. When I was talking to Chris Young, our general manager, and he was talking about his vision, and our owner Ray Davis was talking about his commitment, he was going to go out and get some starting pitching like Chris wanted.
And he was going to give us the tools that we needed. I really had a good feeling about this club.
Now, I go to spring training, and as you mentioned, we had dudes out there. I went, oh, my goodness, this is a talented ball club with a really good pitching staff.
And I just sent a sense of confidence all over these guys. So now to say we're going to win the World Series, you know, that's hard to say, but I really thought that we would have a shot at it by getting to the postseason.
I really felt this club doesn't get to the postseason. I'm going to be shocked.
And that's how good I thought they were. So I just looked at you know what they had in place when you have a Seager and Simeon up the middle Jonah Heim coming into his own uh Garcia I mean I mean what a dude this guy is and then you look at the young guys Tavares and Young it just was loaded with talent so I wasn't surprised that we got there yeah so So one guy I wanted to ask about specifically, Nathan Ivaldi, who it feels like he doesn't get enough credit for just being that, like, big hoss that you can throw out there in a series and be like, he will shut them down, he will give us innings.
He did it, obviously, with the Red Sox. He did it again with the Rangers.
But he never gets talked about that way.

What is it when he's out there, are you at a certain level of calm?

I just know he's going to go out and shove.

He's got those – he's just nails.

Big moments he is there for.

Right, and I think we'll talk about them now.

Part of our game, you've got to have talent, but it's performing under pressure,

and we couldn't have had a better guy out there on the mound needing to win one more game. I compare him to a guy we had in 2014, Madison Bob Carton.
Yes. You know, certain players, you know, those guys, they just get better in the moment, in the big moment I'm talking about.
So we had all the confidence with him. And you look at the game that he pitched.

I mean, he was in trouble.

It seemed like every inning, first four innings.

But, you know, he just has the calmness and confidence about him. And he just nails it for you out there.

So he just is a guy that I think is going to go down

as one of the greatest postseason performers

when you look at what he's done.

You can talk about that game he had in L.A.,

Thank you. He just is a guy that I think is going to go down as one of the greatest postseason performers when you look at what he's done.
You can talk about that game he had in L.A. That was amazing.
But, you know, a game like that I think does so much for a player. It's like, hey, I've done it.
I can do it again. But he just has that maniacal focus you love every game.
But in that postseason, he ramps it up even more. I love it.
Those are the type of players you just love watching because it doesn't matter what their regular season is. You know when the postseason comes along, they're going to have it.
Bumgarner's a great – that stretch that he had with you guys in the Giants, it felt like he was the most automatic thing, and it was just something nasty about it, whereas when he's on the mound, he takes it personally, and he's just never going to get off the mound. He he's going to get outs and that's what he's going to do for his team you know i had a great seat watching it and uh they are there you appreciate you know not just their talent but you know the makeup of these guys uh because there's i mean there's a lot of stake the pressure and these guys thrive on it they better.
That's what separates them from the average player. So we were lucky when we signed Nate.
I knew that. And getting to know him, I mean, what a great teammate, too.
You know, you hear that a lot, but he's off the chart with that, and he's always pulling for the guys. But he's the guy that, you know, he wants it.
He wants the ball out there, you know, not just to win,

but he's doing it and he has a cause.

I'm talking about he wants to do it for his teammates.

So we were lucky to have him healthy because we lost him for a while and we were a different team without him.

But when we got him back, I think the other starters feed off him too.

Yeah.

What about yourself?

What about if you were to self-scout yourself?

Or I guess a different way to ask it would be, what your players say about you um that's different during the postseason as opposed to the regular season because i think you are the best postseason manager of all time if you just look at the numbers like you've you've done very well for yourself so do you change at all in the postseason or is it the same old same old stay consistent throughout the year you know You know what? I think the players would say that, that I'm consistent. I hope they do.
I hope they don't say, hey, the manager was panicking over there. But I do things different.
And they were good with it. We moved the order around, hit young eight, dropped low down, and these guys were all in.
They didn't care who did it, how we did it. They just wanted to do it.
And so they were good with that. They were good with me.
I didn't have to sit down with each one of them and say, hey, this is why we're doing it. So I think I had some trust from them.
But I think more than anything, they said, no, he's got the same calmness that he has during the season. That's what I'm hoping they would say.
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That's amazon.com slash barstool23. And now here's more Bruce Boshi.
The dumb question here, but I'm dying to know it. Obviously, postseason's different, but regular season, how often do you think you get bored watching baseball? A lot of games.
You get bored? Yeah, where you're just like, damn, this game is kind of boring. Or your mind wanders.
Yeah, your mind wanders. Boring may be a little strong, but I will say they're a game.
We were a club that a club that could blow out teams. So, you know, that's going to change the game.
You know, you're actually hoping it gets over, to be honest. You don't want to pummel somebody too bad.
Or we've been on the other end, and that's the same way. Now, back when I was with the Giants, you know, we were called the team with torture.
Every game was a one-round ball game. This was just a different brand of baseball.
So we had quite a few of those games. I probably used more position players pitching this year than I've used in my whole career, and that's where the games changed a little bit.
So, yeah, I'll be honest. Those are games you're hoping to win pretty quick.
Yeah, bored might be the wrong word, but like, do you ever catch yourself in the middle, you know, like say the middle of July, you're on the road and you're like, you kind of snap to and you're like, wait, I haven't really been paying attention to the last half inning. Like, well, I should probably start watching a little more.
Yeah, man, I can't say that, you know, because I always have a fear of getting surprised. Yeah.
That's my thing. I talk about with the players, be prepared, whatever.
And this game will humble you, man. As soon as you drop your guard, something's going to happen.
And I've been there. And so I try not to doze off too long.
Yeah. That's a good answer.
That's probably why you're one of the best managers of all time, and I would be terrible at it. I got another dumb question for you.
So one thing I love about baseball, besides the new big bases, the big bases are really nice. I'm sure you'll agree with that.
They're slightly bigger. But from the managing perspective, it's the only sport where the leader of the team gets to wear the uniform on the field.
So you wear the baseball pants, you put those on, you put the jersey on. I would love to see it in the NBA if, like, Tom Thibodeau has to put on, like, an actual jersey to go out there to coach the game.
Do you like getting dressed up in the pants, or would you prefer to wear, I don't know, like some athletic shorts or some – like a track suit before a game? That's a good one. Yeah.
You know what? I haven't really thought about it, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to wear a sweatsuit or something. Just a little more casual.
No, actually, I'd like to put a uniform on. Actually, for years, the first couple of years, I still put spikes on.
I like that. In a concrete dugout.
There's something about putting that uniform on. It is special.

Now there's so many of them.

My biggest worry on the day is I'm going to walk out with their own uniform.

They've got so many different ones.

So my office is separate from the clubhouse,

so I've got to walk in there just to see what uni we were in that day.

Yeah, and you also are known for having maybe the biggest head in baseball.

And I don't say that as an ego thing. I'm literally saying you have the biggest head.
More brains. What size head do you have? Normally I'm an eight and an eighth, but some hats I wear an eight and a quarter.
If you notice, I think it snuck up on MLB again during the postseason. When you win, when you clinch each round, they break up the hats for you.
And none of them fit. It looked like a beanie on my head when I go back and look at it.
That's the dumbest look. I look like Gomer Pyle running around there with his big head.
So, yeah, that's kind of, I guess, my claim to fame, this big head. And back when I played, you know, that was really abnormal.
So they had a special order, my helmets and hats. Sometimes that would take a while.
You know, I wasn't a good player, so I got moved around a lot, played five years and went to ball. That helmet had to go with me.
So it had about 20 coats of paint on it. Do you think there was ever a front office that was, like, thinking about signing you and they're like, but we're going to have to get a new helmet and, like, hats.
Like, this isn't worth it. Yeah, no, it's the clubbies that panic.
They're in full panic when I show up. Oh, no.
Especially at the press conference, you know. They need a little bit of time to, you know, get a hat so I can wear it at the press conference.
Yeah, I think it makes you smarter. It means you've got more brains in there.
So I think it's an advantage. Yeah, I wish.
I wish that was the case. There's a couple of parking spaces in there, trust me.
There was one that I saw. The hat was hanging on by Dear Life in the celebration.
I think when you get a snapback, do you go with the last button on it or is it the last two buttons that you use well i try to go with the last button and it looks so bad and i just unbuttoned that's the best way to go when when it doesn't fit and just kind of lay it on the head and uh you know eventually it's getting to the side and everything like it said now you're looking like gomer pile he walked around around you guys are too young to know who that is i know No, we know Goldberg Pyle. I know Goldberg Pyle, for sure.
Come on. We know that.
We know our references.

One thing we love. You guys are too young to know who that is.
No, we don't go over Pyle. For sure.
Come on.

We know that.

We know our references.

One thing we love about managers when they get kicked out of a game,

has there been times when you're like,

I have to get kicked out to fire up my team?

Like I'm not even mad about anything,

but I got to use an excuse to get the guys riled up.

Or maybe even a time where you're like, I kind of want to sit in my office, air conditioning, watch the rest of the game in here. Yeah, no, you're right on both.
There's times, yeah, you got to go out there, I think, when things are getting stagnant and, you know, they need to know that you're passionate about the game. But there's some games there where, as you mentioned earlier, they get a little long.

And so you're looking for that window where you can go out there and just give them a

business and go to the office and watch the rest of it.

Have you ever done the dirt on the home plate move?

That's my favorite.

Yeah, I did that early.

I did that in 95, 96 a few times. I love that too to be honest uh or a weaver was the best uh no that that was one of my favorites but uh i don't move around quite as well now so i'm afraid i'll go down kicking dirt it's just such a hilarious concept to be like i'm gonna make you clean and then the ump usually tells the catcher they have to clean it and it's just the best like the entire interaction is so funny all right right you know that part of games kind of left us to be honest i mean it's still happening but really you know how many arguments balls and strikes yeah you know you got you know just replay and uh or review it and so it's it's a little different game uh as far as that and and i know that's the entertaining part of the game.
I'm not the best at my arguing. I need to work on that.
Yeah. Yeah.
But it's a great part of the game. I loved it for them.
Speaking of review real quick, I'm so fascinated by this because every player that ever has like a bang, bang play thinks that they made the and they immediately tell the the manager hey go look at it do you have a rule with some of your guys because you know that they're just not like they never are right like hey look you think you caught that but I like you think you catch everything right right you know that reminds me of uh Steve Finley great player I had center fielder know, he was always safe. And he got me thrown out of more games.
This is back when you could review it. And, geez, I don't know what he cost me.
But, you know, back then I think it was $250 every time you get thrown out. But, you know, they add up.
But now with the review, it doesn't matter if they do that. You just look at it.
Now, where it's going to come into play, and I think baseball is going to get it, Trip Wade has a challenge system on balls and strikes. You get three.
And same thing what you're talking about with the players at the plate. Every strike they call is not a strike.
So that's going to be the tough one. You've got to tell the players if it does happen does happen hey we can't burn these up on you all three so you know you got to be positive on this because it's that's that's more of a case where you got a challenge right then yeah that's the the first batter of every game is going to be like use all three challenges i was right yeah right there was actually a specific game this year it was on september i think 20th 20th.
It was against the Red Sox where you got ejected. And the day before, I believe you told your team or you made a public statement to the effect of, we need to be more locked in at the plate.
And then the next game, you get kicked out for arguing balls and strikes, showing your guys that you're locked in at the plate from the dugout. That's how locked in you are as the manager.
So you get kicked out. They go on to win that game, and your team rallies behind you a little bit.
Would you say that that was the best ejection of your career? I mean, you never know, you know, if it made a difference or not. But, you know, you certainly feel better when that happens, and they do bounce back.
And you're hoping, well, maybe that did supply some kind of spark to get them going again because it's a long season, man. It's 162 games, and some of these games, you're going to go out there flat, so you've got to do what you can to get things going.
If you go out there, you get thrown out, come back and win, yeah, I'll be honest. It's a pretty good feeling for a manager.
Yeah. So one of our favorite players who you manage, Tim Lincecum, when he's came up and you're managing him, were you like, how is this possible? How is this guy throwing like this? He's so small and, like, he's just a freak.
That's his nickname. What were your thoughts when you saw Tim Lincecum for the first time and you're like, this is something like I've never seen before? Yeah, no.
First time I saw him was my first year with San Francisco in 2007. And opening day of spring training, we go out on the field and Dave Rigetti, my pitching coach, says,

by the way, look over there.

Look at this little scrawny kid.

He probably weighed 140 pounds.

I'm serious.

I mean, he was small.

He goes, that's your number one pick last year.

I said, you're kidding me.

I looked at him, and after about two throws, he was winging this thing. It had to be close to 100 miles an hour.
We put him in a game. I mean, we used him that spring.
And I said, this is incredible what this kid's doing. I mean, you're talking about doing everything just right, you know, as far as, you know, having that torque when you're throwing.
He would just, as you said, he's just a freak. And I was still amazed.
And I will say this, after we just won, I've been trying to get a hold of Timmy the last couple years, and he sent me a really nice text. He's like my kid.
That's how much I love this kid. But I'm still amazed at things in this game, and he is one of the more incredible talents that I've had in all my years.
He's right up there at the top. Yeah, he was so much fun to watch him pitch.
If you're dealing with a personality, I don't know if Tim would be like this. I don't know what he was like during games, but Madison Bumgarner certainly would come to mind.
If you're the manager and you go out there and you're going to take the guy out and they give you the look like, don't take me out of this game. Have you ever been talked out of taking manager out? Or taking a picture out? Yeah, I think a couple times.
You know, I don't, I didn't this year like I normally do where I go out there and check on him just to look in his eyes, whatever. But Madison was one of them.
I mean, he never wanted to come out of the game. So there were times when he would be honest.
He goes, listen, I know I can get this guy or the next two guys, and then I'm good. So I'd leave him in.
Even Chris Young, our general manager, he was telling a story back in the postseason in 2006 when he was pitching against the Cardinals. He said, you know, you went out there.
I thought I was coming out of the game and you left me in. But, you know, just looking at him, talking to him and telling him what I thought.
He's, you know, he's the right guy out there. I left him out there.
So, yeah, you're going to have those moments. That's the beauty of our game.
You talk about analytics. It comes in handy, all that stuff.
You just got to have a feel for, I think, for the players, who the man is, and hopefully that helps you make your decision. What I love about you is we can tell how much you love the game of baseball.
Like you really love baseball. And we've talked to some football coaches that have almost broken down in tears describing how much they love football when they talk about just the game of football.
Can you just talk about the game of baseball and why you love it? Gosh, I go back to when I was a kid. I'll never forget.
My dad, I'm the son of a sergeant major that, you know, we moved every three years. And he's the one that got me playing baseball.
But he got stationed at the Pentagon. So he took me to watch the Washington Senators play.
You know, this is back in the late 60s. And the first time I saw the field like a lot of kids, I went, oh, my goodness.
I had Frank Howard, who unfortunately just passed, who ended up being a coach for me back when I was with the Mets for a little bit. And that's all I wanted to do.
It's all day. I just played baseball.
And then when my career ended as a backup catcher, I knew that I wouldn't stay in the game. I didn't know really what role.
But once I started managing, I said, man, this is what I should be doing. And I never thought that time I'd manage in major leagues.
I had the manager of a major league club on such a high pedestal. I would have been happy with managing minor leagues my whole life.
That's how much I loved it. You know, it just it just is in me.
And my wife said the same thing. When I came back this year, she goes, I knew he's going to go back.
You know, he'd be watching the games and making comments. And I knew how much he missed it.
And and sure enough, you know, after I tried to help the French team and, you know, help them qualify for the WBC, I knew, you know, if I ever had a chance that I would come back to manage. Yeah.
Yeah. That's, I mean, that's great.
You can tell, like PFT said, it just comes across how much you, you love the game. A couple last questions.
What's the hardest thing about managing a baseball team that fans like us get wrong? Where it's like you don't understand this part of the job that is more difficult than maybe an average fan understands. Because from where we're sitting, being a baseball manager is the best job in the world.
Because you get to just hang out with the boys, make a couple calls here and there. It feels like a good time, but what is the hardest part that we miss? Well, that is the best time.
I mean, that's what we all love to do is when that game starts. It's before the game.
There's no getting around, especially in the postseason. You know, your obligations to talking to the media.
You really don't get as much time with the team as you would like

because you've got to do the network guys, Fox.

They would come in, and then, of course, the radio guys.

And then you have your local media that had the local radio.

And then you've got to go in a room and address national media.

So you're running the gauntlet for over an hour dealing with all your media responsibilities. And so that's the toughest part, I think, because you want to spend time with the guys.
You want to get out on the field, which it's early. Don't get me wrong.
You're getting out on the field, but there's not a lot of free time. And so that's one of the toughest things.
And the other one I'll say is at the end of spring training, spring training could be my favorite time when it starts, you know, you get with the guys, you have a great time and get back on the field and, you know, just, just, you know, getting to know everybody, the new players at the end of spring training, those last cuts are horrible. They're the worst.
I was one of those guys. I know what they're going through.
You think about it, it's a big difference. I know what minimum salary is, $750,000, whatever, versus going down a triple A, making $40,000 or $50,000.
So it's a tough call for these kids, and I understand it. So that's the worst part of it.
Yeah. I mean, that makes sense.
It seems like the media part would be pretty challenging because you've got to do an hour worth of media for different people. And then you have to figure out different ways to say the exact same thing to every person that you talk to, right? Right, right.
Yeah. Yeah, no, it is.
You do. Because you do get asked the same question so many times.
So, but hey, it's your job. You understand it.
You know, that's part of why, you know, we do what we do, I guess. We know it's, it comes with the job because somebody is going to do it.
And anytime you can take it off the players, that's our job. And so that's what I try to do.
Hopefully we're the first people to ask you if you get bored. Do you get to eat during games? You ever have like a hot dog during a game? Like I said, it's a grind.
It's a grind. Yeah, do you get to eat? PFT was wondering if you get to eat during games.
Do you just sneak one? I've never eaten during a game. I've seen a couple managers do it.
I don't I don't. But, no, I tell you what, the food is unbelievable, guys.
You guys need to come by Clubhouse. I'll show you.
It's like a five-star restaurant, how these guys eat now. Back in the year, when I came up, you know, you got a bowl of chips and maybe a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
Now, you get four or five chefs in there, shrimp, steak, chicken, all this. It's unbelievable how well these guys eat.
Yeah, I love that. But you trade it all for the coffee with the greenies in it.
That's a little different than today. Yeah.
I had one last question, Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Use promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything at Roback.com. Baseball, the sound of baseball is the best.
So tell me, in your years of being in the game, managing, playing, who had the best sound off the bat? Ooh, man, that's a good one. I'll tell you what, Adoles Garcia, that's pretty good.
You know, Seager, he's right up there too. When you're hitting, you know, coming off the bat at 115 plus, that's good.
Now, Sheffield, I coached third when Sheffield was with San Diego. This is back, what, 93, 94.
And, oh, my goodness, the sound coming off his, it's just different. And, uh, you know, those guys, the elite players, uh, you, you can tell when that ball's hit who's hit sometimes.
That's dangerous too, to be coaching third base when Gary Sheffield's the worst. You know, I, I'm not the quickest guy either, you know, it's a, it's, and I'm a big guy, so I'm, I'm, I'm a pretty good target.
Yeah. Uh, As a third base coach, were there ever any situations where a guy's rounding second, he's coming at you, and you just have no idea whether or not to send him, and you just decide, screw it, I'm going to send him.
It seems like that's a split-second choice. Yeah, yeah, no.
I tell you, there's nothing worse, too, than you get a guy throwing about 20 by 20 feet. I got to tell you a quick story of Larry Walker.
You know, Larry's from Canada. I mean, unbelievable instincts in the game, base running, and just had a cannon for an arm.
He's in right field, and base hit to right field, and our base runner's coming around. And I'm not going to challenge him.
I mean, he's like a line drive one hopper.

He knew it.

So instead of coming up throwing home, he came up and threw right to third base.

Meanwhile, I let the runner come around third base,

and the ball got there before he even had a chance to start to get back.

That's probably my most embarrassing time on the field.

Yeah, being third base coach, there's a lot of pressure. First base would be the best.
Yeah. First base, you take their batting glove from them, pat them on the ass.
Nice job. Good eye.
I like the way you waited for that pitch. Yes, they did.
Yeah, back, back. Third base coach, I would suck so bad because I'd be like, well, what if the throw's bad? So I'd send everyone.
But make them make a throw. Just my guys thrown out that's why you're the you're the best so skip this has been awesome we'll take you up on it maybe when you're in Chicago this summer uh you come in the studio bring some of the guys uh we'd love to meet you in person and and congrats again incredible four four world series um you the last five times you've been in the playoffs, you've won a World Series, four out of five of them.
The only time being the Cubs, no big deal. But, yeah, congrats.
You're a legend. I appreciate that, guys.
I enjoyed my time here with you. Thanks a lot.
Yes, absolutely. Thanks, Skip.
Bruce Boshy was brought to you by BetterHelp. Part of my take is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Okay, Hank, let's do it. Guys on chicks, give it to us.
Reading. You're a great reader.
Hey there, lottery ball winner Hank and everyone. Ah, that's bullshit.
My husband and I have been married for almost five months. I recently just learned that he records his farts on Snapchat and saves them in his memories

to show his other guy friends.

Yep.

I'm a little concerned.

I'm now just finding out about this.

Is this normal guy behavior?

Yeah.

Do I need to be worried?

No, that's exactly.

If you were to do a hierarchy of things that you would want your husband to be posting

on Snapchat, this should be number one.

That rules.

I'm in a Snapchat group that's called Only Farts.

Yes. Like literally.
Can you add me? I don't have Snapchat. Can you add me? Well, that would be no, but if you post anything but a fart in the chat, then you get kicked out of the chat.
We should do a Twitter spaces where it's just dudes farting. Where we tap guys in and then they hold it up to their ass and fart.
Yes, yes. Wait, Max, can you next time you get one, can you call me over? I think there's some saved.
Oh, hit me with one. Hit me with one.
I'm pulling it up. All right.
I love it. Only farts.
That fucking rules. Wait.
Oh, also the guy who sent this is the kiss guy oh that guy does it all yeah he's a dual threat yep kisses any farts what more do you need all right next one hey boys go birds my our son is seven months old and named james but nicknamed jimmer after my husband's great uncle jimmer my husband started calling the baby Jim or say a few months ago now just calls him or say yeah she responds to we're both fans of the show but I don't know how much Jim or say I don't know much about Jim or say other than what you guys talk about is it okay to call our first born son this and what should I know about my son's new namesake Jim or say oh let's not do that he's a great guy um solid owner i think everybody in indy loves him uh the one thing you'll you can say about jim ursay is that he successfully avoided hiring josh mcdaniels yeah taking an hour-long shit in his bathroom don't let your kid drive that would be the kid but yeah you're screwed once a nickname comes it's it's there although Although, I feel like the nickname, there's like waves to it.

Like, it's obviously what your parents call you, but then you'll get a nickname maybe like in like elementary school and then maybe get another one in college.

So you can just ride it out and maybe it will be something different.

But Ursa is a great nickname.

It is a really good nickname.

Yeah.

What's the whale's name?

Tokatay?

Tokatay.

You could switch up to Tokatay?

Tokatay. The beautiful switch up to Tokatay? Tokatay.

The beautiful orca, RIP.

Hey, boys.

Congrats on the new office.

Thanks.

My boyfriend is a big Steelers fan and is looking forward to them playing the Browns this Sunday.

However, I need him to pick me up at the airport a little over an hour drive.

My flight lands at 345 p.m.

Should I let him watch the whole game or should he be a loving boyfriend and pick me up from the airport since we know the Steelers aren't really that good? Wait, Uber. Whoa.
Steelers have a good record. They said that they're flying into an airport that's over an hour drive away.
It's probably like a Pittsburgh, West Virginia situation. There's an airport in Pittsburgh though.
I know. I know.
I'm saying like they might live in West Virginia, like Pittsburgh Airport is an hour away from like a lot of where people live. That's true.
That's a long drive. That is a very long drive.
Uber. Also, would Jake like to apologize for saying that the Raiders beat the Steelers? Yeah, I screwed that up.
I apologize. I just got a tweet.
That's the only reason why. I think it was like eight tweets from the same guy.
People are pretty crazy about that stuff. If you mess one thing.
That's why I always try to follow up later, and then they listen through the whole show,

and they're like, whoops.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's all right.

I apologize.

It's a good morning when I wake up and I don't have like 100 tweets about something I fucked up.

I think the only good way to compromise on this guy's unchakes would be if he drove to the airport,

and then you drove him back from the airport so he could watch on his phone. Yeah.
But then driving's in the middle of the game that's the part that he doesn't want to do you get there super early yeah yeah he could go to the bar let him get drunk at the airport bar then he can't drive home yeah yeah all right last one hey big coffee the duke of james madison mr gomez best in the, MaxiPad. My fiance likes to listen to sad breakup songs

as he works out.

I asked him about it and he said,

it makes him work out harder

because of the pain and passion felt in the songs.

Is this normal?

No.

Do other guys do this?

No, it's kind of weird.

Unless you just broke up.

He's got some deep-seated shit.

Maybe he's listening to sad breakup songs

to scare him into getting into such good shape that he'll never get broken up with yeah yeah that's weird i think there's like a grace period like after a breakup where it's like appropriate but i don't think it's weird to just all the time popping those on all the time yeah you should be a normal guy and play fort minor yeah fort minor fucking rocks i feel like he might be ready to break up with you or in love with his ex yes that's bingo hank got it hank knows hank got it that's real that's not fake probably yeah probably who knows it's up to you to determine did you really get the lottery ball we don't know i did no No, that could be fake. My reality.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That could be fake.
In my reality, you didn't get it. Yeah, you never got it.
Oh, that's interesting. That's an illusion.
Question everything, right? That's an illusion. Question everything.
All right, let's wrap up. Numbers.
18. I'll go 71.
20. You got this? Three.
Yeah, in my reality, I have. I'll go 71.
20. You got this?

Three.

Yeah.

In my reality, I have.

I'll go eight.

Shane, 10.

Pug, 37.

Pug.

Pug.

Pug.

Pug.

Pug.

Meme, what do you have?

Three.

Max, it's 71.

20.

Pug.

59.

59. Love you guys

What are you saying memes?

You got a complaint?

No

Worry about Zach Wilson

I'm talking away

I don't know what I'm about to say

I'm saying it anyway

Today's my day to find you

Shining away

I'm coming for your love again

Shining away

Thank you. I'm coming for your love.
Thank you. Just to play that bird and breathe away.
You are the things I've got to remember. I'm trying to find.

I'll come for you anyway.

I'm trying to find.

I'll come for you anyway. Take on.

Take on.

Take on.

Take on.

Take on.