
Kyle Long In Studio, Week 8 Picks And Preview, Bills Are Back (Sort Of) And Fyre Fest Of The Week
The Bills are back, sort of. We talk TNF and if Al MIchaels is ok (00:00:00-00:14:30). Week 8 picks and preview for every game including do the Rams stink? Is Hank back in on the Patriots? Down a wild name rabbit hole and more. Fantasy Fuccbois (00:14:30-01:35:08). Kyle Long joins us in studio to talk football, o-line play, the time Bill Callahan owned him in combine interviews, adult softball and more (01:35:08-02:20:41). We finish with Fyre Fest of the week (02:20:41-02:47:34).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Kyle Long in studio, the first ever guest in the new Pardon My Take studio. We have week eight picks in preview talk thursday night football fantasy fuck boys
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it's part of my take the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your hearts. Welcome to Pardon My Take.
Today is Friday, October 27th, and the Bills are back, sort of. Yeah, the first half Bills were back.
Sort of. So it's tough to say because the first half Bills were definitely back, and their defense played really well to the point where their offense didn't need to take the top off in the second half.
Yeah. They remained tarps on, unlike Fitzy there.
Or us. Or us.
But it seemed like they were back. This win felt a lot better than the last couple games.
You can say that if you're a Bills fan some things that you'd like to do different in the second half on offense but you didn't need to and and the fact is the bucks only got close because that last drive they got extended like three times on fourth down it was yeah the bucks the bucks if you look at that box score you're like oh the bucks were in this game they were not they covered the spread which was a tragedy also shout out the bills punter yeah what a night from him beast i mean that last one he almost put on the one yard line he should have put it on the one yeah so uh not the best game yeah it was football it was football and it was nice to see josh running around out there it was good to see him so he hurt his shoulder hurt his right shoulder and then they reported that he was giving low fives Yeah. Not high fives.
Yeah. Which is a very medical, that's a medical term.
It is, yeah. It was supinated, not pronated at the end of it, which my medical degree tells me.
He just fucked up his shoulder a little bit. He's got a mini-buy now.
Yeah, mini-buy. Mini-buy.
Yeah, the Bills, they look like they maybe fixed a little bit of what was ailing them. It did help that Vitavia was out.
You know what they did? They stopped the bleeding. They stopped the bleeding.
They got a win. Maybe this is what the Bills are.
Maybe the Bills are just going to end up being like an 11-win team, and they'll look – Hank, were you making a noise at that? I heard it. Maybe the Bills are going to be an 11-win team,
and they'll have at least two more times this season
where they look like the worst team in football.
Yeah, I think the Bills right now are above average.
They're an above-average team,
but I don't think that they're the world beaters.
How quickly do you recover from a torn ACL if you're Tredavious White?
He needs to get on that Aaron Rodgers shit. Is Matt Milano no chance of coming back? I don't think.
He broke his leg, so maybe, I don't know. It's better than a sprain.
You know what? Better than a sprain. That's right.
A sprained leg is the worst injury you can have. It's the worst thing you could get.
I'm going to say Matt Milano will be back for the playoffs. And I've done zero research into it.
Okay. And yeah, the Bills have the Bengals next, which will be a great game.
That's Sunday Night football next week that'll be good that'll be a great game as for the bucks they stink yeah yeah they're they have no real running game to speak of their defense minus vita vea also bad uh just bad baker mayfield looks better than most thought he would this year that's the best thing i could also i have no idea what no idea what Todd Bowles is doing as head coach. Well, he's Todd Bowles.
He's playing a chess match against Todd Bowles as a coach. The fake field goal or field goal or just run out the clock play they did at the end of the half was insane.
You had the holder telling the kicker, like, no, no, we're not going to run this play.
So that tells me either the kicker went out there and was like, fuck it.
I know we're supposed to just run the clock out, but I can make this.
And the holder was telling him no.
Or it was a look to see if they were going to fake it.
And the kicker really wanted to fake it.
And the holder was like, no, we're not snapping this ball.
I thought my Amazon stream was glitching because it was like a perfect loop of crowd noise and everyone was standing still. Yeah.
It's like, what's going on here? It was a very weird into the first half. Just Todd Bowles continues to amaze me as a head coach.
He doesn't amaze me at all. He's just not good.
No, that's how he amazes me. Todd Bowles.
He's boring and not good, which is the worst combination. But he does find creative ways to be bad.
Whatever that was at the end of the half was a very creative way to be bad. And the craziest thing about this game is that the Bucs could have easily won on the last play.
Which is crazy. Credit to Baker Mayfield.
He threw a perfect Hail Mary. He really did.
You know what? I think that is the number one incompletion of the season so far. That was a great Hail Mary that he threw.
That was an insane Hail Mary. Godwin didn't turn around.
Bucs fans are saying Mike Evans had illegal contact at the 10-yard line.
Yeah.
They're never going to call that.
Al Michaels, make any mistakes tonight?
He did have a slight one when he was like,
and it looks like the Bucs are going to punt,
but he was actually retroactively correct
because they came out in the field goal formation
and then, like we described, took the delay game and punted.
But he said, looks like they're going to punt,
and Kirk Herbst was like, I think that might be a field goal, Al.
Yeah, I mean... out in the field goal formation and then like we described took the delay game and punted but he said looks like they're gonna punt and kirk herpshire's like i think that might be a field goal al yeah i mean al probably really enjoys going to buffalo because there's zero chance that somebody sneaks a vegetable on his plate yeah that's true absolutely they don't they don't allow those in the city walls celery yes so get this off my garnish jake jake did you hear any uh any al michaels mistakes didn't hear any mistakes, no.
He does seem bored with bad football, though. I was going to say, the energy definitely wasn't the Al Michaels I'm used to growing up.
All right, I'm going to look up real quick. I'm going to look up Al Michaels on Twitter and just play the first video.
Here it is. Under pressure there's no energy.
Well, that seems like a very, like, meh play. It was Baker Mayfield only almost getting sacked three times and then getting a 12-yard run.
Okay, a 12-yard run? You don't even yell for a 12-yard run? Or no, third quarter. But, I mean, still.
I would say we've had this debate on the stream. Is that a nice little chunk that he got? I would say that's like – Okay.
That's an exciting play. Hail Mary to end the game.
All right, let's listen to it. We're going to give an honest assessment.
Mayfield dancing all around.
As far as he can throw it.
Jump ball coming.
Crazy stuff.
Not this time.
Crazy stuff.
Not this time.
Crazy stuff.
I'm not going to speak much on this time.
I don't think you can say crazy stuff in a more boring voice.
Also, what does not this time mean?
It didn't happen this time. Compared to other times it's happened not this time i i love al michaels he is part of many memories but if i last week i tried to defend him this week i think i'm going to say let's just maybe hope we can like shoot him up with some testosterone and have one last ride here some coke yeah no i mean like herb street herb street is a great friend to lee corso on game day right to old people everywhere he loves lee corso they seem to have a genuinely touching relationship correct he needs to take that same energy to al michaels and bring cocaine into the booth to get Al going during games.
Yeah.
For America, Kirk.
Okay, well, so...
Take that private jet on one of those Thursday flights
you take down to Columbia
and then come back real quick to see Al
drop a bag on his desk and let America have fun.
It's just, I love Al,
and I don't want to see him go out this way.
I think...
What?
I mean, he's a legend and i'd be surprised if he got back on the playoff game the nbc second playoff game remember he did the oh chi-riko no nbc had two wild card playoff games and they put al michaels with tony dungy for the chargers jacks we can't have that playoff game. It was like the guy to get Jack Collinsworth out there.
Jason Garrett. Yeah.
Somebody with some energy. It would be it would be bad for this nation if it was Al Michaels and Tony Dungy calling a playoff game.
It happened last year. Can he like like like Jonathan Henderson just get slapped in the face before the game and just be like, whoa! Let's go.
Old school Al. That'd be nice.
It'd be an improvement. Do you think it's a situation where no one just wants to say hey? Because he is a legend.
He's a legend. It's that no one wants to be the guy that has that conversation.
And honestly, I think that if it's good football, Al Michaels can still get the job done. And they paid him so much money.
Not this time. You know what? I'm actually going to defend Al Michaels.
I am too. As a football fan, we owe it to Al to just suck it up.
Think of all the joy that he's brought us. I'm going to suck it up.
I'm going to acknowledge that maybe he doesn't have the right energy, that he turns exciting plays into downers sometimes. But as a football fan, this is what I've trained for.
I will absorb all of Al Michaels' negative energy, and I will not complain about it. Here, I'll one up you, PFT.
Thursday night football. We always get excited for it because it is football.
It's Thursday night. It's kind of the start of the weekend.
off the weekend hank don't say anything uh it usually is a bad game maybe al michaels is the perfect guy for thursday night football yeah because like you don't want to peak too early no you want to kind of ease your way into the weekend yeah no that's a good spend zone yeah i like that but that's perfect i think i think we should just all agree to to just this shit. I'm going to take it.
Yeah, I'm going to take it. Also, NFL fans, they're just turning their backs on him.
No, they're not turning their backs on him. So many great memories with him.
Oh, Malcolm Butler interception. Now we hate this guy.
No, no, no. They're not turning their backs.
Why would you use a Patriots? They're just saying because it's one of the more iconic plays and calls by him. It was an NBC game.
That was a compliment.
I don't think anyone's turning their back on him.
I think it's just simply they're pointing out the fact that it might be time.
There are some people that are clowning him.
What have you done for me lately, Lee?
That's facts, Hank.
I'm not going to clown Al.
It's like Al Michaels and Bill Belichick kind of at the same stage in their careers right now.
Well, Bill Belichick signed a three-year deal.
And Bill Belichick's coming off a win. Yeah, I mean, Al Michael has signed a massive contract with Amazon.
Unrelated to any of this, get excited because Bears play the Panthers in two weeks on Thursday Night Football. Can't wait.
Al might just snore. I love the TNF on Prime jingle.
Oh. I don't like how you say TNF.
Yeah. Jake, I noticed how you remember that Patriots-Seahawks game was an NBC game.
Yeah. Do you remember what all Super Bowls, like the network? Yeah.
Jake, I noticed how you remember that Patriots-Seahawks game was an NBC game. Yeah.
Do you remember what all Super Bowls, like the networks they were broadcast on? No chance. The last 10 to 12 years.
Okay, Rams-Patriots. CBS.
Broncos-Panthers. Fox.
Who was on it? Who was on it? It's been the same crew. Steelers-Cardinals.
I think that was. This is a disgusting memory, Jake has.
I would guess Alan Criss, but maybe not. No, wrong.
Madden? Yeah, I think it was Madden's last full game. Yeah, but I know the 28-3 was Fox.
Seahawks, Broncos. That was Fox.
I think you just said that. Did I? Yeah.
No, I said Panthers-Broncos. Oh, Panthers-Broncos or CBS.
Super Bowl 50.
That was the year that they had the gold 50 at every 50-yard line.
Duh.
I think ESPN's in the mix in 2027.
I think they entered the cycle.
Okay.
But, yeah, I didn't realize I could do that until now.
Pretty sad. Wait, what was Seahawks-Broncos?
Seahawks-Broncos was Fox. Okay.
I don't know what to do with this information. He just knows all of them.
Yeah, I don't know what to do with this. Jake is a massive fan of networks.
Huge. We had to get you a jacket like the one with all the NFL logos.
Jake loves booths. Yeah, he do.
Wait, no. He loves booths now.
He loves booths and trucks. It's my new office.
Power rank him, Jake. Booths, trucks.
How is your booth compared to NBC's booth? It's great. Don't have a cough button.
The only thing that I don't have. We got improvements.
We can always get better. I would say PFT, nothing in the booth can happen without the truck.
But the truck comes first. But would the truck ever be there without the booth, Jerry? What's that? Would the truck ever show up if there wasn't a booth? You could technically broadcast a game with no broadcasters.
What? Oh, that's true. Remember, I'm pretty sure WWE didn't carry the King Lawler, have like a health scare, and they just went silent the rest of the broadcast out of respect for him.
They did that, I think, unintentionally at some NFL game in the last 10 years where there was like a quarter with no announcers. Yeah, where like the sound of the bullseys.
And the announcers got very scared because they realized how much football still kicks out their voices. Yeah, we don't need you.
No, no. We shouldn't go back to that.
We shouldn't go back to that. Just a sound.
No, no, no. Get rid of their jobs.
Okay. Let's get into the week eight.
Pick some preview. And then we have Kyle Long in studio and finish up with Fyre Fest.
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Hey boys, week eight, no bye weeks. So much football.
It's very weird that there's no bye week this week, right? I kind of like it just because this is almost, it would be impossible for the witching hour not to be electric this week with eight, no, seven games? I just feel like every year that I've played fantasy football, which, by the way, I gave up on my fantasy teams in record time this year. It's so liberating.
I think it was week five. I looked at all three of my rosters and I was like, no, just not going to do it.
Just not going to do it anymore. I already stink.
And now I don't care about it. I get the notifications.
I ignore them. That might make me the asshole in the fantasy league, but it's so nice to not have to worry about it.
Can I, can I, I agree with you you and i actually had an idea the other day because i have two fantasy leagues with people i've been friends with for a very very long time there needs to be a service like you know like a divorce attorney where i don't have to tell them i'm gonna stop playing fantasy but someone some third party can intervene and be like listen he's dead so he's not playing fantasy anymore or like some some excuse so it's the awkward like that's the only thing that's keeping me in there is like i just i don't i there these are my friends and i understand friendship and all that stuff but i do not care at all about fantasy so much so that one of my friends texted me during week seven he's like i'm kicking your ass right now i was like what the fuck are you talking about dude and then i looked at my team i had forgotten to start like half the team you know what it was for me i'm in like a suicide eliminator pool and i just forgot to do it one week and when i forgot to do that then i was like okay i'm just i'm not going to open up the yahoo app anymore but that now that you say it out loud we can learn from ourselves we can admit mistakes we can grow i think i'm gonna have to at least try because i feel i do feel like a bad friend right no i exactly i'm not doing it so i'd like to immediately retract that i fucked up i took who who'd i take uh emeco before and karon butler they're not bad they're not bad they're not ryan gomes was 265 five pounds 260 pounds they're not bad emecca okafor is not bad i can't offer everyone admitted my mistake i'm gonna fix it i'm gonna try to play it but i'm not i'm not gonna have any fun doing it who amecca okafor and crumb no they were very good yeah not a dime back i'm gonna survive the pool that that consumes most of my my my brain we gotta get we gotta get one back on the show. We should.
I mean, when the reporter said to him, like, we have a report here that you make, you know, $2 million and the state is losing this. And he just goes, I make a hell of a lot more than that.
It's so great. Not a dime back.
It's so great. But to my original point, I feel like every year that I played fantasy football, I would always just ignore the bye weeks and just not think about that.
And it was always week eight.
I always had players that were on bye weeks week eight.
No, no buys.
But no buys this week.
No buys.
So let's get into it.
We will be in the new gambling cave watching all the games.
I think the idea is on Sunday night because the Bears play Sunday night.
We're going to watch that in here while we do the podcast.
You get live reactions that way. But let's start with the best games.
Noon slate, one o'clock slate. People get mad when I say noon.
I think the best game is Jaguar Steelers in the noon slate. Let's talk about Jaguar Steelers.
Jaguar is about to go on their bye. Steelers off a big win.
Mike Tomlin is a home dog. We keep hammering it.
18-5-3 against the spread. Maybe even an Allen Robinson revenge game.
I guess so. He had a revenge game last week.
I guess so. All I know, the Jaguars are going for five straight right now, which is the Jags haven't had a lot of good winning streaks over the course of their franchise.
This would be nice for them to get. They're spraying down footballs in Jacksonville.
They're getting ready the water so they're they're having a guy with a hose out on the practice field urban meyer had some hose out there too but this is different they're spraying it down and then they're simulating the rain uh the steelers however you mentioned mike tomlin easiest coach to bet on as an underdog feels like a hammer mike tomlin game also this is maybe the biggest thing going into this game. It's a terrible towel statement game because Trevor Lawrence opened his mouth and referred to the terrible towel as those little yellow towels.
Yeah. Now, he was saying it.
He was like giving them respect and it got quoted. Pittsburgh took it personal.
This is a personal game for the towel. Double renegade.
It might be a double renegnegade game but he called out the towels the the jackuars kind of own the steelers well we remember 2017 yeah blake yeah yeah went in there and put up like 44 it was incredible um so i i lean steelers here because of the tomlin home dog i also have a stat george pickens really good receiver starting to kind of blossom into he's one of our favorite receivers to watch Deontay Johnson being back is huge for George Pickens and I actually think maybe Matt Canada's offense won't be as bad when Deontay Johnson's on the field this is a stat that I've I don't even know really what it means it's it but it sounds really impressive so they have a stat yards
per route run so essentially just how many how many routes you're running and how many yards you got uh pretty easy to understand with Deontay Johnson on the field George Pickens is averaging 4.0 yards per route run which is actually like it would be the second in the NFL only behind Tyree Hill without he's averaging 2.7.
So George Pickens, Deay johnson matters for george pickens and we saw it in the second half against the ramps yeah that's interesting i know that tyree kill had that one stat where cadarius tony had the craziest one where like every time they threw him the ball uh the chiefs lost a point and yeah one that was one yeah but yeah i would like to see those stats for our general lives just like per step like per per mile walked how many uh how many desserts do i have yeah like what's the what's the ratio on that farts per per step walked yeah um also 1.2 i agree with you i think that it matters not just like dionte dionte is obviously like a very good guy to have complimenting georgeens, but just in general, having two good options to go to helps the other guy. And they do compliment each other well.
And I think the Steelers are finally realizing that Jalen Warren is really fucking good. I also was watching some Jalen Warren highlights and people are saying he might be one of the best running backs in terms of blitz pickup and blocking.
So Jalen Warren, give Jalen Warren the ball more. Maybe make Najee Harris like a junior tight end.
I want to know what his war is, his wins above Najee, his one. What's his one? Because when he touches the ball, it's hard to believe that he is like NFL running back caliber speed.
Yeah. He just looks like he's running through snow.
And for the Jaguars, like you said, going for five straight, Trevor Lawrence looks awesome. Their defense looks better than people thought it was going to be this year.
Calvin Ridley, is he getting iced out? I don't know. You think he's getting iced out? That was weird that he got no targets on Thursday Night Football.
Yeah. And he was open sometimes, and Trevor Lawrence wasn't even looking at him.
Do we have an ice out? Maybe doghouse alert. That's more of a running back thing.
Doghouse, iced out. Yeah.
Yeah, running back is a fumble, and then you get into the doghouse. You get into the guy's doghouse.
But you can get iced out as a wide receiver. You can.
Also, fun stat, if I were to just ask you off the top of your head, what do you think the Steelers' record is in their last 15 games? Pretty good. They're 11- 11 and four.
Yeah. Cause they finished the season.
Like remember the, the whole talk at the first part of the season was his Mike Tomlin going to go under 500. Yeah.
And they ended up nine and eight. Yes.
So the Steelers have been just good. They've been winning weird games.
They've been winning them in, in strange ways, but they just win. They figure out a way.
Kenny Pickett might be Mr. Fourth quarter.
I like that. He is.
Jake, you're a nerd nugget. Good timing we got because Pittsburgh leads the NFL with three wins this season when trailing after the third quarter.
The Steelers have also won 14 games since 2020, trailing after the third quarter. That's also most in the league.
Mr. Fourth Quarter.
He's Mr. Fourth Quarter.
I like that. He's Mr.
Fourth Quarter. Also, Mike Tomlin met Glorilla this week.
Yeah. I'm a big fan.
Huge Glorilla fan. I know, hank you're a big fan too right huge huge huge hank you look very corporate today thank you is it the vest no it's hank looks like he got off the golf course today i wish i would go off i did not uh this is the perfect vest weather today it is it is beautiful vest weather and it's not there's not a lot of time for vest weather like it's about to be cold vest weather's over no but you go vest under the coat yeah because then you go coat off vest in the office i saw my opportunity i took it yeah you you that's that's it right there you you just grabbed it vest weather yeah what is it uh luck is up no luck is what happens when opportunity meets preparation preparation he was prepared for back vest.
I'm woefully underprepared for vest. I don't think I own a single vest.
I have two, and I never wear them. So I saw my opportunity and took them.
I had a vest phase, and then when the entire Wall Street accounting bros took over vests, I ditched it. But I might get back in a vest.
I might be a vest guy this winter. It's's fun especially puffy vests i don't really like hank's look right now he looks like trash but a puffy vest oh sorry i forgot you were there uh a puffy vest looks nice i like the ones that have the like ribs on them you know what i'm saying the seams that go down the side yeah yeah the puffy vest yeah that's good that's good they make you look jacked up too yeah who looks great in a a vest is Vrabel.
Vrabel is a big-time vest guy. Okay, next game up.
Rams at Cowboys. I have a theory that I would like to throw out there.
The Rams stink. I don't know if they stink.
Okay, that's my theory. I'll explain my theory.
Were they ever good? Well, no, they were never good, but here's what happened. The Rams are mid.
They're decidedly mid. I think they might stink, and here's what happened.
Every year, there's like one or two teams that have a great week one, and it sticks in our head for a while, maybe too long. The Rams beat the Seahawks week one.
They were like maybe six-point underdogs. Because remember, going into the season, the Rams, I think their over-under for wins was five and a half or something like that.
They were not supposed to be good.
They beat the Seahawks.
Everyone's like, oh, shit.
They might be good.
DiPuca, look at this.
They're good.
Since then, their two wins after the Seahawks' week one win was against the Colts in overtime.
Colts not that good.
They're frisky, not that good.
And the Cardinals in week six, Cardinals stink.
Their losses are Niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers.
So the question I ask is,
are the Cowboys closer to the Niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers,
or the Colts Cardinals?
I think it's the former, not the latter.
Yeah, I'm not saying that they stink, though.
I'd say that they're probably going to lose this game.
I'm going to bet on them to lose this game,
especially because McVay's got he's he had
the baby.
The baby's here.
He can't score a touchdown.
A head coach can't score a touchdown.
Matt Stafford does have a homecoming game, kind of.
Right.
In Dallas.
Yeah.
People forget.
Highland Park.
You went to high school with Clayton Kershaw.
So I don't I don't think that the Rams stink, though.
I think that they're perfectly mid team.
The Cowboys are capable of playing perfectly mid teams very well. It's just a working theory that they might stink because it is keep an eye on you know how we do do that where it's like week one bad or or good i mean what when uh the cardinals killed the titans week one whatever it was a few years ago titans i think ended up being okay it's just week one always has one of those weird things that were like oh fuck that was the taylor luon game right yeah i didn't want to bring that up yeah well yeah it's a very important part of nfl history yes um yeah i do think i think that the rams are perfectly average i think the cowboys are an above average team and i am a believer in the triplets though that's what we're calling matt stafford puka nakuha and koopa cup cooper cup koopa cup would be cool koopa cup is a good Puka and Koopa Cup.
Koopa Cup. Koopa Cup.
Koopa Cup. Koopa Cup would be cool.
Koopa Cup is a good...
Puka and Koopa?
That's an event in Mario Kart.
Koopa and Puka.
I like that.
That sounds like that could also be like a Disney movie with two, you know,
a fat animal and a small animal like Pomona and Tumba.
Yeah.
What is that?
Timon and Pip?
Timon and Pumba.
And Pumba.
Yeah.
Yeah. You got it.
Thanks, Hank. Is that correct? You mentioned it.
Put this in the tickler. Nakua Matata.
Ooh, I like that. Yep.
That will be on Boomers. You mentioned that the Cowboys can absolutely beat a mid or bad team.
Dak versus bad teams. He is 27, 13, and 2 against the spread versus teams under 500 and 17 and 26 against spread versus teams above 500 yeah i also think that mccarthy looks at an opportunity coach against mcveigh like if i if i beat this guy i'll finally get that respect yeah you know so i i do like the cowboys this week and the rams i i actually think that having a baby during a week for a coach is probably way more impactful than if a player has a baby during the week and they miss a practice, right? I think that he's probably not getting a lot of sleep.
He's not spending as much time just grinding film. Good points.
We'll see. Good points.
Jake, your nerd nugget. Cowboys rookie kicker Brandon Aubrey is one of six kickers in NFL history to begin a career with at least 16 straight field goal makes and is closing in on the NFL record of 18 straight.
And there's the jinx. He's 16 of 16 on field goals and 12 of 13 on extra points.
Can we bet on him to miss a kick? We should be able to. Because that was the jinxiest jinx of all time.
Credit to the Cowboys. Well, you said it out loud.
Yeah, but they wrote it down. I don't think a written jinx in a media playbook versus a spoken jinx.
The percentage of announcer jinxes is probably so low because they say it every time. You always remember them.
No, you always remember them. Jake, you're bringing stats into an equation that absolutely does not need.
We just need to go with our balls on this one. Anytime an announcer says that a kicker is good, he's the worst kicker.
You guys, announcers lives matter this is bullshit didn't um the rams had mar right yeah they had the former kicker of the cowboys just missed the revenge game that missed nine field goals or whatever and they cut them this week that's that's tough i wanted to see a mar revenge game yeah um okay next up vikings at packers i only have one stat for this game and i have a feel the stat is uh how many touchdowns rushing touchdowns the vikings have this year zero zero is correct that's pretty crazy it is zero rushing touchdowns my feel is i think the packers stink i think jordan love's not good but the vikings just beat beat the Niners on Monday Night Football in front of the world. They're going to play at Lambeau against a very stinky Packers team.
You have to bet the Packers. I don't know about that because the Vikings seem like they're kind of rolling into form right now.
Why would you say that, Monday Night Football? Because they had a great game against a really good team that was kind of banged up and injured yeah but i'm big cat come on i i saw monday night football i did too and i i went i went i'm not i was like oh my god the the vikings are are what a one point favorite against the packers and lambo like this is a hammer time on the vikings it's like nope dan you do this to yourself all the time you watched one awesome game and're like, the Vikings are awesome. I have a hot tip.
Okay. And by hot tip, I mean I was walking around the halls earlier and just heard someone in the room.
I don't know who it was, and I didn't listen to the full conversation. But as I walked by, I overheard someone saying 78% of the money is on the Vikings.
Yeah. Don't know if that's true.
I believe it. But it's a hot tip.
It does sound like it would be true. It's a hold your nose pick.
The Packers stink. They do stink.
And I think I'm going to ride with Creed, though, because before the last game. So we talked about Kirk Cousins loving Creed, the Texas Rangers loving Creed.
I didn't realize this at the time. Kirk Cousins has replaced the team prayer, which means a lot to Kirk Cousins with everybody listening to Creed in the locker room.
That's nice. So the last two games they've been on their creed shit oh yeah i might wait to find out how much scott staff is being played in that locker room before i make my final pick source but i am right now i'm currently square as fuck and i'm gonna ride with the bike yeah i just i it's a total feel because i really do think the packers are not good but it any given sunday uh jake Packers quarterback Jordan Love leads the NFL in second half passing yards per game is tied for number one in the league in second half passing touchdowns per game and number two in the league in second half offensive touchdowns this season yeah because they're behind Mr.
Second half yeah yeah when you play from behind Mr. Second Mr.
Second half. Okay.
Yeah. When you play from behind.
Mr. Second Half.
Mr. Second Half.
Okay.
All right.
Next up.
Next game up.
Patriots and Dolphins.
All right.
Patriots and Dolphins.
Tyreek is going to play.
Damn.
Yeah.
It was just announced.
That was the weirdest thing ever when Tua was like, hope we get Tyreek back soon.
And everyone's like, huh?
What?
What'd you just say? It does feel like a get- right game for miami doesn't okay i agree but i feel like the and we talk about this with kyle long uh coming up great interview with him i do think the dolphins if there is ever a look ahead it is the chiefs next week and maybe it's not like look ahead they come flat, but maybe look ahead. We pack it in as quickly as we know this game is good and the back door is wide open.
It's also a super look ahead because that's a lot of travel they have to do. Yeah, that's a lot of travel.
Yeah, you got it. Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a really long trip ahead of you.
So it's a super, yes, I'm saying.
That's hanging over their head even more.
That's when I'm at my lowest.
Do you think they packed all their shit, getting ready to go over to Germany?
Wait, do we know their plans?
We don't know yet.
We got to find out.
We're only betting it on that.
Because whoever goes later, fade them.
That's what we've learned.
Germany's a long ways away.
But I feel like they probably already have their shit packed going to this game. If they're leaving on Monday, you don't have time to go home.
That's a big suitcase you got to bring over there if you're going on Monday. But I do like Miami in this game, and maybe it's just me reacting to the Patriots looking decent against the Bills.
Mac Jones winning the Super Bowl. Oh, wait, wait.
You hear this one? Congrats to Hank and Mac Jones for winning the week seven Super Bowl. Oh, yeah.
Congrats. I had heard that.
It was big. You guys.
You loved doing that to everyone. You needed the last 20 years.
You needed one big time. The bill is the fucking bills.
We beat the Chiefs. That's the Super Bowl.
Oh, I like you. You bet on the bills last week, Hank.
You did. Yeah, I did.
I lost. I'm doing bad in my picks.
No longer hung over, though. Nah.
Oh, okay. It's a little foggy.
Yeah, we got to have some day beers on Friday. Yeah, we got Halloween coming up.
We're going to Madison. This is a week I'm giving myself till next, like, Tuesday.
Okay, till the get right spot. Yeah.
That's your get right spot, Tuesday. Back in the gym.
Tuesday. Everyone tweet Hank next Tuesday.
Be like, get right. Welcome back.
Let's go. Yes.
You feel confident? No. Oh, okay.
What's the weather forecast? Do we know? Hot. It's going to be hot in Miami.
I'm sure. Yeah.
Two sidelines. It's not the heat.
It's the humidity. That's true.
Yeah, they always say that. I just...
Rain. I don't know.
Rain. Oh.
Potential. That would maybe probably help the Patriots.
Help the Pats, yeah. Jump up a little bit.
Mack Jones is 0-5 against the spread in his career versus the Dolphins. Yeah, we've never beat Tua.
You've never beaten Tua? No. Damn.
That's surprising. That's tough.
I think that's a good sign, though, because you know Belichick is like, we to beat tua yeah you got to beat tua so are you gonna money line yes oh wow have to okay i like like we've talked about i don't i don't i don't feel good going into the game but then before the game i'm like why won't we just win this game oh you really are you really are a tanking team welcome to welcome that's exactly. That's every single Bears game.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is a great opportunity to play spoiler. It really is.
Yeah. If we beat the Bills and Dolphins, I will have been that accurate about.
And guess who's next? And the Jets, too. And guess who's next? Jets? No.
Commies. Oh, nice.
That'll be good. Yeah.
Good luck spoiling that one. Jake, your nerd nug your nerd nugget well first off tyree kill when he faced the media today regarding his hip he said i just wanted some attention man because my mom wouldn't talk to me so i needed some attention from somebody okay i respect that yeah i get it i get it miami has had a player record multiple sacks in four straight games by four different players week four at buffalo andrew van ginkle week five against the giants zach sealer week six against the panthers christian wilkins week seven at philadelphia bradley chubb so they're all eaten you remember bradley chubb yeah i feel like last week we stopped talking about old chubb for a while didn't we yeah he's good he is good he's good uh it's so with tyreek hill it's funny like that's like a dog that pretends to have an injury yeah to get I had a dog that for about two years would only have a hip injury when it was at home with my parents.
And then I took it to college a couple times. It was able to walk everywhere, go up and down steps, and go back home where there was another dog.
Be like, oh, no, my hip hurts. Come scratch me.
Yeah, yeah. That's what Tyreek Hill's doing.
Need some attention. Yeah.
Okay. So Tyreek Hill's playing.
Next up, Eagles of Commanders. The little boy off.
Little boy was never anything said by anybody in that game. Oh, it was little you small.
You little small is what was said. Little you small.
Little you small. Yeah.
I think little boy was set off. Yeah, because you were saying big boy, little boy.
I was saying we were doing big boy plays on you yeah like that was a little boy play correct there was definitely that thrown around there's a lot of boys this is this is bigger than a little boy game this is a perm game oh yes yeah max and i agreed to bet a perm oh beautiful on this game god about that so one of us is going to have to go to sport clips and uh and get our hair permed up i love it so max what are we going to do all right because it can't you can't do it straight up right because the eagles are what six and a half point favorites should we just do the spread oh i mean max that would suck for you like if you win by three you won the game and you got to get a perm yeah no that's true i think you almost got him what about what about three what about three even um deal fine okay that's a great negotiation because he just two seconds idiot you should have just said straight up dude you should have just said straight up so max is going to buy a car soon and he's like i suck at negotiating can somebody help me? I told him I'd negotiate for him because I love doing that.
Max, I just ran circles around you. That was so bad, dude.
I'm not a negotiator.
Jesus Christ.
How are you doing, Max?
Good.
This game's must win for the Eagles.
No, I meant in general.
How are you doing?
It's fine.
It's fine.
Okay.
The episode popped off.
Popped off.
I told Max, too.
Max, I think with this last recent tragic loss and clips and everything I think Max has actually crossed the threshold and that if the Eagles win the Super Bowl people would be legitimately happy for him I don't think so I do not you Hank you fucking hate him right now you're right if the Eagles won people would be like, okay, good for Max. He deserves one.
But you're forgetting that to get to a Super Bowl, they'll have to endure like three months of Max being obnoxious. Not true.
And then they'll win. So you need a team.
I'm done being obnoxious. You need a team to just start their first game being.
Yeah, that's a lie. You need a team to start their first game in the Super Bowl.
I guess. I don't know.
Yeah. I'm a different man.
I'm a different man right now. I think you've developed a big fan base of people that really enjoy seeing this content.
So it's like that market now exists. Yeah.
You created the market. No, the sadness market is booming.
It's also a market that really dislikes it. Yeah, but you know what? Those guys.
That's jealousy. And they also just completely over exaggerate everything.
It's the guys who are like, Max is on the show for two hours.
Like this is it's crazy.
That's just that's just the anyone that's on the show.
That's not named Big Cat or PFT market.
Correct.
And we've all everyone's had their fair share of the ire there.
And Max also the fact that Philly keeps losing in these big moments is the
reason why you're in these prominent positions on the show.
So it's not like the entire show is just Max all the time. He can't help it, but his teams are losers.
So we have to feature. Yeah, you've been in big moments.
And Max, I had my brain kind of switched a couple of years ago when I realized, like, people are going to complain about everything. and it's actually a compliment because it's what we do with our sports teams where it's like you root for your sports team and you're like fire that guy that guy sucks that's no different than people who are like I listen to every PMT I fucking hate Max like well yeah you're gonna find something to complain about and like it's okay like you can complain.
You can complain about anything. Like, go do it.
It means you care.
We want people to care.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Has your mom said anything to you?
My mom was good.
My dad thought it was really funny.
My mom was also a huge Phillies fan. Like, that's her number one team.
She said that it was nice to hear how sad I was after the game because it made her feel better about me. See? So you're providing useful service to dejected Phillies fans.
I feel like your parents had to have loved the movie clips. I look ridiculous right now.
I don't know. Those were just those.
Anyone can watch that and find humor in them i haven't watched any any any last thing max any word on people throwing out the idea that you might have early onset fleming yeah so people were saying this online uh that max's hand motions the the fist the screaming when he was tinting Yeah, tinting his fingers. On the couch.
That was my favorite. Just like people are saying, Max, like, hey, Max, are you looking in your closet and being like, oh, that's a good shirt.
I want you on that. Yeah, that's really the biggest worry for me is.
You have early onset Fleming. The biggest worry for me with early onset Fleming is I do like to like chew on water bottles, which is the biggest red flag of anything.
Well, Frank is we love Frank. Frank is the absolute best.
So it wouldn't be the worst if you got full bled fledged Fleming. Yeah.
Yeah. Full blown Fleming.
Maybe someday. Okay.
Okay. Yeah.
I got a question for you, Big Cat. Yeah.
Do you think that the Eagles Commanders series, is that becoming a throw out the record books? It might be. Because they do.
The Commanders are always way worse than the Eagles, except going back to what was it, 2020? Yes. When Doug Peterson pulled all the starters in week 17.
They are always worse, but they always play them very, very tough. I feel like this is a throw out the record.
I agree with you.
I agree with you.
I also think, oh, by the way, sack watch, Sam Howell, 40 sacks on pace for 97.
He went the other direction.
It's insane how many sacks he's taking.
Like David Carr, when he was in the league, it was nuts his first year.
76 sacks.
People were like, will somebody please step in and help him?
Sam Howell is on pace to just dust David Carr.
Yeah, dust him.
And it's not even the 17-game schedule because he's on pace for 21 more sacks.
Max, last question for you.
Are you worried about Jalen Hurts' knee?
No.
They said it's like a pain thing.
He's just going to play throat.
He's a warrior.
It's just a pain thing.
He's an absolute dog.
I trust my guy out there.
I think you should be.
Why does the human body experience pain, Max? Is it because everything's fine? Yeah, he's fine. He's fine.
Okay, yeah, he's fine. But I will say, Kevin Byard game.
Yeah, dream team. Yeah.
Dream team. Not dream team, but you love having guys.
Yeah. Talking about guys.
Kevin Byard's a guy. You love having another guy.
I think that Jalen Hurts' knee is a problem. He's's wearing a brace on it and he also was asked about it and they're like is it a concern would affect you going 40 said i hope not yeah it's gonna affect that was on sunday and then the no that was his press conference he said i hope not yeah that was after the game on sunday oh okay and like going forward they're like yes it won't be an it won't be an issue for the fact that we're even talking about it is kind of an issue.
Yeah, but some guys are built different. He's a dog.
Okay. He might be wearing it just in case the stadium collapses on him again.
Just to be sure. He's throwing a lot of picks, fumbles, the knee.
He doesn't look like himself. Can we admit that, Max? The pick in the last game was tipped.
Answer the question.
Does Jalen Hurts look like himself?
I didn't like how in unison you guys were right there.
That was beautiful.
It was great.
The last game, yes.
I will say in the Dolphins game, yes.
He looked like himself.
I don't care what you say.
Yes.
I don't think he looks like himself.
He threw one pick that got tipped, and he played a flawless football game after that. Who would you rather have? Jalen Hurts this season or Jalen Hurts from last season? Who was better? In totality, last season.
Okay. So he doesn't look like himself.
But it's a week-by-week league. Okay.
On Sunday night, he looked really good.
All right.
Listen, I'm grasping at straws here.
I'm trying to find reasons to think that the commanders can win this game.
So I'll take whatever I can.
Also, the commanders have hired a nerd this week.
We got a nerd.
So it's Eugene Shen.
He is now like the senior vice president of analytics.
We didn't have a guy like that before.
I like that.
So we got him.
He was on the Jaguars for a while. He was on the Raven ravens then he went off to manage a trust fund or a hedge fund yeah now he's back and i just it's a good hire i think josh harris made a good hire we needed a guy like that but also i'm putting myself in ron rivera's shoes who is not a heavy analytics guy yeah shall we say he's not really a big anything guy but now we hired a nerd Rivera is probably not going to coach after the season's over I don't know if he's gonna be fired mid-season but he's definitely not coming back this year so if you have a nerd in place right now telling Ron Rivera what to do with his team how is Rivera gonna react to that is he gonna be like yeah do whatever you want with my team? Or is he going to actually take this guy's advice, put it into practice? I feel like giving a guy who's on his deathbed a nerd to tell him how to fix things is just going to kill him faster.
Yes. It's like if you gave Jimmy Carter a social media manager right now.
Yeah. Like, okay, this guy's going to run your Instagram account.
It's over. He's like, okay, just pull the plug.
It's over. Yeah, it's over.
All right, nerd nugget. Eagles wide receiver A.J.
Brown tied an NFL record last week
when he posted his fifth straight game with 125-plus receiving yards,
joining Calvin Johnson in 2012 and Pat Studsill in 1966.
He's also the third player in Eagles history
to register five straight 100-plus yard receiving performances,
joining T.O. and Harold Jackson.
He's very good.
He's awesome.
He's very good.
Terry McLaurin's NFC East lead might be dwindling by the moment. trouble.
Yeah. Okay.
Next game. Jets Giants.
MetLife. The MetLife Bowl.
Jets going on the road. Jets going on the road.
Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones. I think so.
I think he is. It's so crazy how much the Giants fucked that up.
Like, you had Daniel Jones for four years, and he was, what, somewhere between the 15th and 20th best quarterback? He played pretty good in spurts last year. Well, no, no.
So I'm saying the previous four years. Yeah.
Yeah. Last year, he played good.
Yeah. Why didn't the Giants say, hey, is this the outlier? Maybe we should franchise tag him.
They were just hoping that this is who he is. Yeah.
Last year he played good. Yeah.
Why didn't the Giants say, hey, is this the outlier? Maybe we should franchise tag him. They were just hoping that this is who he is.
Yeah, right. Like, hey, let's franchise tag him.
See if he's that guy again instead of being like, no, that's him. We only use the does he look at himself if a player is playing worse than they did the year before.
With Daniel Jones last year, they should have been like, is Daniel jones is he really playing like himself right now the answer would be no right but still like you if you're in that position as a team you think that this is just the brand new yeah it's like if i see myself i see a good picture of myself and i look skinny i'm like am i skinny now yeah no um fun stat the giants winning last week against the commanders that was their first home win since the boat picture really no i just made that up i mean i could believe any that sounds like it would be uh my favorite thing in terms of storylines going into this week is on wfan yeah did you see was it don la greca that was talking about zach wilson oh no uh i was thinking don la greca talking about uh chris russo which was great no this called him a weakling which is an all-time insult because russo needs to retire yeah he does he's a you're a weakling yeah that's a great insult it really is an insult that you only get on sports talk radio yeah you you get bum and you get fraud and weak weak those are the big three yeah but there's another guy i don't have his name in front of me but he went in on zach wilson because zach wilson during the bye week went to utah with his girlfriend he went apple picking he went well this guy was like this guy's going apple picking you're supposed to be the quarterback you should be in the film room the entire week you should be at the facility the entire week studying in the meeting room by yourself he's like any other position you can leave but the quarterback i want my i don't want my quarterback traveling with his family during the bye week. I want my quarterback to be an incel.
That's what I want. Also, Zach Wilson is definitely in the category of too much information can be dangerous for him.
Yeah. Like, you don't want to just have him overloaded with ideas.
Well, the entire premise of the Jets offense being good is just minimize the amount of time that Zach Wilson has with the ball in his hands.
Yeah, figure out a way to get Garrett Wilson on slants that Zach Wilson can hit.
Yeah, just play on defense more.
Yeah, punt the ball on first.
All right, nerd nugget.
The Jets defense has an active streak of 24 straight games
without allowing a 300-yard passer,
the second longest in the NFL behind New Orleans. Whoa.
Okay, good segue. Saints and Colts next.
Here's a fun fact. Do you know that we're in week eight? The Colts are the only team to score 20 points in every game this season.
I did not know that. 20 points or more.
That is a very fun fact. That's pretty fun.
Also, the NFL apologized to Jim Irsay personally. Yes, I saw that.
So Jim Irsay put out a tweet saying, just a heads up, the NFL has admitted to us that they screwed up the calls at the end of the game. So hang the banner, Colts fans.
You guys should have won that game. We actually do think that you should have won that game.
Yes, you should have. That was bullshit the way that it came down.
So maybe Jim Irsay just hallucinated Roger Goodell coming in and apologizing to him. Yes.
That's probably just as likely. But yeah, the Colts, I mean, their offense is fun.
They are fun. With Gardner Minshew, you're either going to get a crappy, weird, awful performance where he takes some shots and they don't pan out, or he could actually step in and win you a game.
I think Gardner Minshew, I'm going to bet some Gardner Minshew props this week because the Saints do play a lot of man coverage, and that's usually what he does well. So I don't know if they can win this game but i am gonna bet some gardner minshue props and have some fun he does stink against the zone yeah he does he does he doesn't understand the he's just like wait i want to throw it there what the fuck he's probably two guys there i think he sees his own defense and like if you're playing basketball against the zone and pick up you're like these pussies yeah probably sees his own defense he own defense.
He's like, these guys are a bunch of pussies. Yeah, they won't call me man, I'm man, I'm man.
And tries to make crazy throws because he's like, I'm a man. These guys are bitches.
And he's perfect for man coverage because he's like, fuck it. I'm going to throw it there.
Yeah. Give my guy a chance.
I like that Dennis Allen is so bad and so dumb. He's now into his coach speak where he's like, fuck everyone.
You guys don't know what you're talking about. He said this week, you get in the middle of the season and there's generally not a lot of people from outside your building that are coming in that are going to make significant changes.
We've got our guys and we're going to be hard at work trying to fix some issues. You got this, Dennis.
You actually have Sean Payton'ston's guys yeah you got this but i i just like
that being like no no you guys don't know this building i also like the fact that by saying that he's justifying his entire employment yeah he's like that's why i'm here is because i'm a guy that's been in the building yeah and i'm gonna fix this and i'm gonna fix everything yeah uh we are on coin alert with the saints remember the jets coin yeah there's a saints coin oh hell yes and it's undefeated right now. So this week, they are predicting a win against the Colts.
The coin is. Okay.
They're predicting the Saints to go 11-6 on the season. So they're predicting a win against the Colts, then a win against the Bears, win against the Vikings, win against the Falcons, and then they're going to beat the Lions.
So we're going to find out in short order whether or not this coin is legit or if it's a fraud. So they have a win this week? They have a win this week.
Okay. But it's early.
It's early in the coin's history. Week eight is when you start.
Separating. You start paying attention.
Like, is this counterfeit or is it legit? Yes. Okay.
Nerd Nugget. You got it.
20 points. Colts.
Only team. Damn.
However, Indianapolis. Don't however, man.
Big Cat, the fact that you're doing me like once a week? You like stealing the nerd nuggets, but then you also have to look at yourself in the mirror and being like, I'm a nerd. I'm casually.
Well, he just dropped. He dropped.
However, I have a little context. Go ahead.
However, and it'll be tougher this week because the Saints only allow 18 points per game. However, however, Also, however, shout out to Blake, who won the Colts tickets contest.
Oh, yeah, yes. He says he'll be dressing up as Gardner Minshew going to the game.
Oh, love it. Looking forward to seeing that.
Love it. I hope to see some people dressing up as Mr.
Ursae for Halloween in the Saints, too. It would be nice.
It would be nice. Okay, next up, Falcons, Titans, Titans, throwback jersey.
Will Levis, maybe Malik Willis. I hope it's Will.
I don't. Vrabel hinted at a two quarterback thing.
I don't do that. Don't do that, Vrabes.
Yeah. So it's going to be tough to erase the stink, much like how we were talking about with the Steelers week one when they got dominated by the Niners.
It's hard to move on past that. Malik Willis' first game was an all-time bad performance.
Yes. Really, really bad.
And I think he got better. I hope he got better.
Wait, you're saying his first game last year? No, his first game ever. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Because he came in, remember, in the London game and that was very bad.
But somehow I don't think it was as bad. Well, that running, remember, staying in bounds? I do remember that.
That was a brain fart. That was very bad.
That was a brain fart. Yeah.
I'm hoping for Will Levis just because I'd like to see him play. Yeah.
I do think that the Titans have a leg up because they spent more time preparing for the throwback helmets than they did for travel plans to London. Yes.
They've been practicing with theback helmets for like two weeks now they're ready to go they're ready to roll and um who knows more who has the advantages does arthur smith have more of an advantage having coach with vrabel or does vrabel have more of an advantage working with arthur smith for all those years i think arthur smith i think the person who's learning from learns. It's like the student in the pupil and the master in the pupil.
Was that right? Is it pupil student? Pupil student. Yeah.
Yeah. I got it.
Whatever. I haven't slept all week.
I think that the person learning from someone learns all their tricks and then adds new tricks. Okay.
That variable doesn't know. Unless you're Belichick, in which case you just don't teach them certain things so you have to beat them as a head coach later you've got that correct and arthur smith i maybe my favorite uh battle going on right now in football is arthur smith versus fantasy football uh players and prop betters yeah because they are pissed i think he intentionally does i love it i'm pretty sure.
I want him to just, I want him to just, I want to see Tyler Algier and running 40 times and Corderell Patterson being the only one who catches the ball. Yeah.
He's being openly antagonistic to fantasy football players. It's great.
I do like that a lot, but actually we haven't had this conversation about Bijan because Bijan has looked really, really good when he's played. And then last week, he only got one carry, right? Yeah.
And that one carry seemed like a fuck you to people because if he was actually, if he had an illness, if he had a migraine or whatever, you'd think that he would have just not given him the ball at all, right? But giving him the ball one time seems like a fuck you. Is Bijan Robinson somehow in Arthur Smith's doghouse? Okay.
we might be on doghouse watch with him i thought about this and then another thing i thought about with this situation is could arthur smith be a sneaky genius could he be saying we just spent a lot of money on this first round pick running back don't put too many miles on him early in the season bjohn is going to look that much faster late in the year. He might be doing like a Derrick Henry tracker Cito.
Yeah. Let him get cooking later.
Like he won the game without B. John.
Guess what? That's, you know, 15 carries. He doesn't have it on his legs when you get to December.
Yeah, but you'd also you would have liked to win some of those close games you were in early. True.
True. But I actually don't think he's in the doghouse, but it is something that we should pay attention to.
Yeah, I heard. There was a report that he vaped in his face.
There was a report that he is in the doghouse. In fact, in terms of doghouses, Belichick's doghouse is the worst, right? Saban's got to suck really bad.
Mike Vicks. Yeah.
Yep. I bet Sean Payton's probably pretty bad too.
Yeah. Sean Payton's doghouse.
Yeah, for sure. Dan Campbell.
Dan Campbell's's dog uh dan campbell i feel like he would put you in the doghouse he'd still come give you a pet yeah come in and like get sneaky some food like you know i love you i don't want to put you in this doghouse look what you made me do babe his wife's asleep at night that kind of guy he sneaks back he's like hey it's gonna be our little secret yeah i'm supposed to feed you but you know you're a good boy the only reason you're in the doghouse i love you so much yeah basically a pimp Dan Campbell's a pimp Titans running back Derrick Henry
can a little secret. Yeah.
It's supposed to feed you, but you know you're a good boy. The only reason you're in the doghouse is because I love you so much.
Yeah. Basically a pimp.
Dan Campbell's a pimp. Titans running back, Derek Henry, can record his 39th total 100-yard rushing game this week, including regular season and playoffs.
He would surpass Eddie George, who has 38 for second most, and Earl Campbell has 40. So, Derek Henry.
Wow. Titans have a really good history of running backs.
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris Johnson. The Oilers.
But Chris Johnson, Eddie George, Derrick Henry. Yeah, you want to go Earl Campbell? It's pretty crazy.
Yeah, they do. We should put this in for July 27th.
July 27th is a Saturday. Okay, so July 25 25th thursday let's do all-time rankings of position groups i also have hank teaches us an econ class that day i do i like that like run that's a big day for this oh that's huge okay great we'll double up but yeah all-time rankings for position groups franchise wise niners Niners, Niners quarterbacks?
Would you go Niners quarterbacks? You could go
Packers quarterbacks, unfortunately.
Yeah, it'll be good.
It'll be good. That's going to be a lot of fun.
That's going to be a lot of fun because I do
think running backs
for Titans might be, they might be
number one. Okay.
Let's go to the next game. Texans Panthers.
Frank Wright giving up play calling duty. Major cook behavior.
I have this probably going to sound stupid when it and when we play the game and the Texans beat the Panthers because the Panthers think I think Bryce Young is going to look good today. I think the Panthers might win their first game of the season.
So the Panthers off a bye. They are desperate for a win right now.
They're trying something new on the offensive play calling side. And it does seem like this is a big, big week if you're a Panthers fan to just have Bryce go out there and not get blown off the field by C.J.
Stroud. For your own mental future, for your own well-being, you want to see Bryce Young
look like he belongs on the same field as C.J. Stroud.
Yes. And Thomas Brown, the new
offensive coordinator, I think
like, so he's McVay Tree.
He was with the Rams. He also
was with Georgia with Nick Chubb, running backs
coach. He was with Wisconsin when Melvin Gordon
had 2,500 yards, running backs coach.
I feel like he's going to
run the ball and get wide receivers open.
Yeah, and who's the running back?
Is it Miles Sanders?
Sure.
Is it?
Chubba.
Yeah, Miles Sanders and Truba Hubbard.
Yeah, yeah.
Remember Miles Sanders?
Yeah.
He was pretty good.
Maybe give him the ball.
I think this might be the first time.
It's also the fourth time.
This might be a nerd nugget I'm stealing.
The fourth time the number one and number two pick in the draft played in that same season oh i'm not stealing it uh some of the stats are very funny the the jets and jaguars played actually the jets won even though zach wilson he had a 90 91 yards rushing memes probably remembers that titans beat the bucks with mariotta and winston 40 titans beat him 42 14 and then one of the
funniest stat lines the cults beat the chargers in 98 17 to 12 both quarterbacks were exactly 12
for 23 okay that game peyton manning and ryan leaf um and uh yeah so i don't know that doesn't
mean anything for here it's just kind of cool yeah number one number two we're gonna watch
this game though and then immediately we're gonna be like one guy's a bust yeah so according to this
I'm going to go ahead game, though, and then immediately we're going to be like, one guy's a bust. Yeah.
So according to this, Trevor Lawrence was a bust. Jameis Winston was a bust.
And Ryan Leaf was a bust. And the right pick was Zach Wilson, Marcus Mariota, and Peyton Manning.
Great players. Yes.
Nerd nugget.
Panthers wide receiver Adam Thielen has 49 receptions this season,
which is 33 more than any other of his teammates.
He also has 59 targets, 30 more than any other teammate.
So he's just getting every catch on that team.
He's still good.
The Panthers are talking about going out there and getting another wide receiver.
He's one of the best.
Wide receiver at home.
Yeah.
You got one at home.
Okay.
Before we get to the late slate,
We're going to take a quick break for a very special ad make sure you're watching the youtube because this is pepperoni brought to you by pft and blake yeah that's right i got blake right here blake is uh blake is ice cold against the spread he's won four and when he took the bucks tonight plus nine and a half so we'll know if he is on a little hot streak or if he's still the worst gambler in football. But he's brought to you by Puperoni.
I got some Puperoni, and Blake's going to – Blake, give me a wave. Good boy.
Good wave. Tune into the YouTube to watch Blake do all his tricks.
Come here, Blake. Come here, buddy.
Or you can go to Puperoni.com and find some more information about these great treats for your dog. Blake loves it.
Blake's doing great.
He's a football dog.
He's here in the studio.
Everyone loves him, and he's growing up nice, big, and strong.
He's about 60 pounds right now, thanks to Pupparoni and all the treats and all the good food that he's having.
We love Blake very much, and I love football.
Do you love football, Blake?
Wave if you love football.
Give me a big wave.
Blake, give me a big wave.
Big wave. Big wave.
That's a good big wave. Good all right come here show you sure you could face the camera come here come here big guy there you go there you go there's a good boy he's huge and there's blake he's a big boy yeah thank you blake you give me a kiss thank you good kiss pepperoni okay we are back that uh ad was brought to you by blake and pft blake is here and hank went to uh check on blake and memes said what's hank gonna do give him a bad attitude takes one to know one did you give my dog a bad attitude it was a good line it was a really good line yeah i don't understand i don't understand being just beef with me i like it though i like the beef for the record when i brought blake into the studio max was on the floor blake went right up to max's cheek started sniffing him max ignored him oh about 10 seconds until i was like max are you gonna say hi to my dog and then finally you turn around you're like oh hey oh it's a dog good oh that because he walked out of the studio and he goes if i see that dog again i'm gonna open hand slap that fucking it's a lie i said i said max oh, it's a dog.
Good. Oh, because he walked out of the studio and he goes, if I see that dog again, I'm going to open hand slap that fucking bitch.
I said, Max, it's not a girl dog.
It's a lie.
Okay.
Did you ignore fact or fiction?
You ignored the dog for the first 10 seconds.
10 seconds, fiction.
10 seconds is fiction.
It's longer?
It was significantly shorter.
We were in the middle of the conversation.
And then I've been playing. I've been the one watching Blake this whole time.
You've been in the studio.
But if I hear him crying, I've been the one going out
and making sure he's all right.
All right.
Okay.
Probably because you love to see dogs cry.
Let me take a look at this dog in pain.
Wrong.
Back to the games.
Bengals at Niners.
Maybe a game of the day.
I would say this game is actually can't lose for both teams. Well, Sam Darnold starting most likely is.
I think that you can't really get out of concussion protocol that quickly, right? Tua did. Tua did.
Well, he watched Gruber. Yeah.
We need to know what mid-2000s comedies Brock Purdy's been watching. He did practice today, though.
Oh, okay. So maybe he's out of the protocol.
I'm hoping for a Sam Darnold game. I would like to see that.
I am as well. I am as well.
Bengals off a bye. T.
Higgins back. A little healthy.
Joe Burrow got that pep in his step. Trent Williams, is he playing? Debo's not.
Debo's out. Debo makes a big difference.
Both those guys make a huge difference.
Because Debo, he's the guy that Brock Purdy looks to when they blitz, right?
Right.
And Trent Williams is a guy who blocks everyone when they blitz. Yeah.
And I feel like if it's a blitz and you're looking at the hot route, having a guy that you trust that you've got good rapport with is pretty important in terms of timing as opposed to a guy that maybe you haven't worked with that much where you might throw a ball too quickly. These are good points.
It might get picked off at the end of a game hypothetically. These are good points.
I feel like Debo, yeah, they've got Ayuk, who's a great receiver on the other side in his own right, but also is Debo the most important player on the offense? I think Trent Williams is. Trent Williams is, yeah.
I think Trent Williams is for sure. I also, Christian McCaffrey is playing through an oblique injury,
and I don't think he's exactly the same.
I'll say that.
The two touchdowns covered up a lot of stuff for him.
Yeah.
He's last two games, 15 carries, 45 yards, 11 carries, 43 yards.
Obviously, he catches the ball as well. But yeah, maybe just like Christian McCaffrey at 85% is still one of the best running backs in the world.
But Christian McCaffrey at 85% without Debo Salmon, without Trent Williams, things look different.
This is going to sound horny, but it's not.
Okay.
Get the bonk list ready.
If you have a hip injury or an oblique injury going home to Olivia Munn every night, it must be tough to have that injury fully healed wait he's dating olivia munn isn't he no is it different olivia definitely i was gonna say same definitely not that's what that's what i meant yeah let me rephrase that it applies to both though i don't know who's dating olivia munn but if you have an oblique injury going home to olivia what's harry's Munn is married to oh they're engaged they're engaged yeah they have a kid together they're divorced Sudeikis no fuck why can't I even think of his name right now John Mulaney John Mulaney yes thank you lives June 2021 yeah weak hips probably on that guy right now this has been a fun we got it all we connected it thanks for tuning in to pop culture who's married to psudeikis and olivia munn broke up no olivia rodrigo yes rodrigo blankenship no who did snake is wild right olivia wild this is fucking crazy it's funny because like we we cannot keep track of the olivias but i know like 20 different jaylens yeah and i know exactly who they are how many deshauns do i know a fuckload yeah fuck all right can't can't but the point stands which is when you're married to her it must be tough to rehab from like anything involving your to any of the olivias any of the olivia yeah and olivia you're good yeah uh okay so yeah i i kind of lean the bangles here i kind of lean the bangles here i don't know i don't know who's joe burrow dating we don't know and we were going to respect his private life come on hey that's's... It's up to Joe.
Whoever he wants.
Olivia Holzmacher.
What?
Or... I don't know how to pronounce it.
That's actually who he's dating?
Yeah.
He's dating in Olivia.
Did you know that when you said it?
Did you know it was in Olivia?
Did you know that was in Olivia?
I swear.
No, I thought you had us up.
I swear to God.
What the fuck is going on?
I feel like Vince Lombardi.
What the hell is going on out here?
I've never met an Olivia in real life. And everyone's fucking him.
I'm going to be Hank Stram. Am I the only person that hasn't fucked an Olivia? I haven't.
I have not. Okay, good.
Me neither. Max just raised his eyebrows.
Hank's doing a little Jersey Jerry wink. That's nuts.
Too many Olivias. Holy shit.
Do they just make olivia's hotter i think maybe if you date an olivia you you reach the top there's gotta be a pick in here somewhere for you big guy i'm also thinking of i have a couple i have a couple friends whose daughter's name's olivia and they listen to this show and they're gonna text me and be like what the fuck dude olivia Olivia's are hot. Well, they marry quite well.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Shout out Olivia's everywhere.
Do you have any listeners named Olivia?
Oh, for sure.
And they're the hottest.
They are the hottest.
Yeah.
Hit up the YouTube comments if your name's Olivia.
What's up?
Nerd Nugget.
This was the best analysis of a game ever.
This is crazy.
That was nuts. That was nuts.
I feel like you knew that. I promise you I did not.
The 49ers are the only team in the NFL to have four different players with two or more interceptions this year. Talanoa, Hufunga, Diamador, Lenore, Charveria, Sward, and Fred Warner.
You just did that because you want to say the name. What? You did that Nugget because you wanted to say the name.
You crushed it. I practiced it.
Yeah, but you wanted you wanted to flex you flex say it again you flex with the nerd nugget the amador lenore no no shut up what the other the other guy tarvarious ward no what are you doing right now the amador lenore talanoa who funga yeah oh yeah what the hell yeah and fred warner again. Yeah.
Because he was like, oh, you want me to do the hard name? And he said two. And he didn't do, yeah.
Fred Warner is the only one of those four who are easy. Yeah, but Funga is the hard name.
If you have a crazy name and you can play defense, you're on the 49ers. Yeah.
Okay. Browns and Seahawks.
I'm high on the Seahawks. I am too.
I think we've reached a good point in the does Deshaun Watson really love football discourse. And I think the waters have been muddied successfully enough to now that I'm at the point where I'm like, yeah, I don't think he really does love football.
No. I also, I'm so high on the Seahawks.
PFT, would you like to ride on a bet with me? Well, I do like the Seahawks this week. No, I know.
Would you like to ride on a bet with me? It depends on what the bet is. You have to say yes before and then you have to bet it with me.
Yeah. Seahawks plus 400 to win the NFC West.
Both their games against the 49ers are ahead of them. You love betting against our friends.
Listen, we have some friends on the Seahawks, DK. Yeah, it's true.
More like a frenemy. It's not a bet against the 49ers.
49ers actually might be better at winning the Super Bowl as a wild card. How about that take? I don't think DK can do it.
Well, you already said yes, so you have to do it. Yeah, I will do it.
But I just also want to fire up DK a little bit. DK, he's a hothead right now.
He's been injured. I don't think this guy's got together.
It seems like all the pre-draft analysis was right on him, where it's like, why is DK, you know, why has he fallen so low? Well, because he can't turn. I think he has learned how to turn, but he forgot his bread and butter.
Yeah. He's very tough at going straight now.
Cancel the bet. Just looked at their schedule.
Hadn't looked at their schedule. I already said yes, though.
Okay, we'll do a little bet. I'll sprinkle.
A little friendship bet. I'll sprinkle a little bit.
Oh, can we do, I don't know if you can parlay the Seahawks to win the West and the 49ers to win the Super Bowl. Well, what you can do...
That would be a wild one. Here's what we should do.
There's some bets, because I was looking at exact order of division bets. Yeah.
We can bet on the Seahawks to win the division. 49ers coming second.
Rams coming third. Cardinals coming fourth.
Okay. I would ride on that, because you'd probably get some good value.
Yeah. Yeah, they have a tough schedule.
And I also... All my Seahawks love, as crazy as it it sounds is because i bet on the bangles versus seahawks and i had no business winning that game and i walked away from it being like respect yeah they're a tough team that's a that was a respect loss the seahawks they're a tough out yeah no they're a good team i yeah and the browns pj walker on the road nah yeah um pj walker's a nice player.
He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.
Nice guy. Jake.
The Seahawks defense currently has a three-game streak of keeping opponents under 250 yards of offense. The last time that occurred was the last three games of the 2015 season.
Legion of Spoon? Was that Legion of Boom or right after? I don't know. This is Legion of Spoon, and I
do believe in the Seahawks defense.
I feel like they are
for real. I'm going to say
Seahawks defense for real. Kyle
called them when we were
driving over here, called them
in the middle period, the Legion of Whom.
I had never heard that. That was
good. That's good when they're having a bad season.
That's what I'm saying. It was Legion of Boom, then it was legion of whom now it's legion of spoon okay yeah i like that yeah i like that uh okay next up ravens cardinals cardinals stink yeah they stink but they hit in the first half again they did they did this is the this is the playbook for the cardinals you go out there you might even win the first half you compete you have a good game plan compete.
Then you compete. And then at halftime, their coach is like, okay, remember we're tanking right now.
So we're going to make zero adjustments or maybe make a bunch of wrong adjustments at halftime. Then we're going to get our teeth kicked in the second half and everybody's going to be happy afterwards because this is the game plan.
This is what we're going to do. I want to keep that formula going because I'm a very bad gambler, but when I find something that works, I stick with those so they keep me afloat to support all my other terrible bets.
Yeah. So I've been making money on this one, but now the Cardinals are missing Zach Ertz, a big part of their offense, and they're missing James Conner, who's actually been good this year.
Yeah. So this is going to be the make or break moment for me.
I'm going to do it again this week. And if they burn me, then I'm off the Cardinals.
But they're going to get their shit kicked in in the second half, at least. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Nerd Nugget. The Ravens' seven overall touchdowns allowed this season ties their 2000 Super Bowl team for fewest permitted by Baltimore through the first seven games of a season in franchise history that's pretty the Ravens are good yeah they're very good yeah like seven touchdowns in seven weeks if the Ravens if the Todd Munkin offense if that was the the game against the Lions the launching pad for that offense like we could look back and be like oh shit the Ravens are really good um they also just love this is another uh lamar playing the nfc yeah that's true a good point yep so 16-1 they just love playing anyone but the afc north yeah i feel like whenever the ravens play the afc north it's trouble whenever they can get out of the division they can beat people is kyler murray playing this week no are we sure not sure i think he participated in practice fully oh so maybe but because job needs him to play the cardinals have all the short kings hollywood brown the injury more more is so fun to watch explosives he's back soon kyler murray he's back soon um okay last uh afternoon game chiefs at broncos i thought we were gonna get our first snow game of the year.
It's going to snow in Denver on Saturday. So is it going to be cold on Sunday? I don't know.
They'll get it off the field. Yeah, they'll get it off the field.
So I was excited because I was like, ooh, first snow game. Pretty early, but it would have been cool.
Did you know, and this is a fucked up stat because the Chiefs are really, really good and probably the best team in the NFL. Did you know that the Chiefs lead the league in passes dropped? I did not know that.
Such bullshit. Yeah.
18. That's such bullshit.
It is. Well, half those are Kadarius Tony.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's bullshit. Also, here's a stat, little whoa stat for everyone out there.
Patrick Mahomes in his career has lost 17 games in the regular season.
Russell Wilson in his Broncos career has lost 16.
So if Russell Wilson loses this game, he will have the same amount of losses in his one and a half years with the Broncos as Patrick Mahomes has his entire career. So everything about this game tells you take the Chiefs, including that stat right there.
Yeah. And they've been historically dominant over the Broncos who have just had a sad, sad recent history against the Chiefs.
But I was thinking to myself, because I'm looking for an excuse to not bet on the Chiefs in this game. Do you think Broncos players are going to play harder knowing that they're playing for the right to possibly not be on the Broncos anymore? Like you get out of jail.
You could get traded. Yeah.
Play your way out of jail. Yeah.
It's a possible, just something that I thought about. I'm probably very dumb in using that analysis to try to bet on the Broncos this week yeah but it's something that crossed my mind and i'm not totally convinced that it's wrong you just work it out you got a couple you got 48 hours to work it out yeah uh all right last game bears chargers oh nerd nugget sorry this one's actually crazy i do this once a week or it's my favorite one you're calling your shot yeah last week it worked yeah all right ibiased.
Okay. This is from Curtis Siebel on Twitter.
Since the beginning of 2017, the Chiefs have either led or have been tied for the lead in the AFC West in 102 of 111 regular season weeks. They've led the AFC West for nearly six consecutive years.
Well, they've won the AFC West for seven consecutive years. Week one week 17 slash 18 102 out of 111 i'm gonna say b minus crazy i'm sorry because the chiefs like but leading like even the chiefs are 30 and 3 or pepperoni's 29 nomination i feel like they lost the game between weeks one and four where they didn't lead every week.
Well, the Chiefs haven't led every week.
Yeah, the Chiefs haven't led every week.
Well, 102 out of 111.
If you had said 110 out of 111, I would have been like crazy.
Well, okay.
I'm being unbiased.
It's a good stat.
I feel like the Patriots have a longer run.
The Patriots had 11 years in a row,
so the Chiefs are tied for the second most
with seven years in a row winning the division.
So of those nine weeks, eight of them came in 2021.
So most of them, they have.
Okay, that's interesting.
Yeah, you're working towards something.
That's how you got to frame the stat now is like,
besides this one year that completely disboost my point.
Week two through week nine of 2021,
and then week one of this year when they lost to the Lions.
They've led the AFC West since 2017 every week. They're really good.
I think that's fairly impressive. I'll go up to a B.
Fine. I'm going to give you a B.
That's good. Yeah.
I convinced myself. Now that I think about it, I would sell a kidney to even have the weeks that they didn't lead the division to have the commanders in the last 7 years.
Just how many years they've led the division's crazy that's yeah eight weeks yeah eight weeks oh my god eight weeks sounds awesome uh all right bears chargers um tyson pageant let's see what you got yeah the only note i had for bears chargers i i literally just wrote why question mark why i think it's just they they didn't want to burn one of their flexes. Chicago is obviously a big market.
And yeah. Why? That's it.
Why are you doing this? So I am going to take the Bears against the spread because they like Brandon Saley just lives to fuck up games and make them a three-point win or three-point loss. That's what he loves to do.
Yeah. Yeah.
I to say like they always find a way they seem to be playing it's like going back to phil rivers yeah justin herbert when the ball in his hands driving down a score fourth quarter right exactly has to happen exactly uh nerd nugget chargers running back austin eckler needs one touchdown to reach 30 for his career that would set the record for most receiving touchdowns in the super Bowl era by a running back with a single team. They would break a tie with Brian Westbrook, who has 29 with the Eagles.
Okay. I would put the Chargers up there with the Titans in terms of good running backs on a team for a long time.
Yeah. They've got a good history.
Yeah. Danian carries a lot.
Yeah. Lorenzo Neal.
Natron Means. Natron Means Business.
Michael Turner, Darren Sproles. Yeah.
They had some Michael Turner Darren Sproles yeah Melvin Gordon Ryan Matthews Ryan Matthews picks and standings I feel like I'm taking on water standings for the warm up opening act of our show in Las Vegas I am 9-4-1 Max is 8-6 Memes is 6-8 Aww And for the main event Between you guys Big Cat 7-5-2 PFT 8-6 So I guess you guys are technically tied Yeah we're I'm not going to win. Yeah, we're tied.
We both have eight points. Yeah.
Hank
six, seven and one.
That would be an electric show. Got your
ass. All right.
You're up first. I'm up
first. Fuck.
Yes. Can I pass?
No. Can't
pass. Nope.
Being up first?
Nope.
Fuck.
I don't want to be up first.
I'll go with...
Talk a lot about the Packers.
I'll do a stupid one.
Saints-Colts over 43 and a half.
All right.
Who's up next?
That would be Memes.
I'm stalling.
Should we just start a new cycle now that we have?
Yeah, let's start a new cycle.
PFT, go first.
This is our seats now.
These are our seats now.
We're going from the old studio, and it's all.
Yeah, yeah.
It's all jumbled.
So you go PFT.
We'll go around.
This feels like we're switching up methods in midstream.
No, this is fine.
You want to go Hank second?
I just think it's easier for us to tap.
I agree with Jake.
Okay.
We're going to be in this circle exactly this way.
Okay.
Okay.
Steelers.
Steelers.
Steelers.
It's a towel game.
Steelers plus two and a half.
Okay.
Jake, I'm going to go with Rams plus six against the Cowboys. Okay.
Sean, McVay, baby game. Okay.
Max? Jake, did you listen to what we said about that? Yeah, I know. Baby can't score a touchdown.
Yeah. McVay can't score.
More time away from his job. Max.
What did you say? I said the over in the Saints-Colts. I'll say Packers plus one and a half.
Great. Against the Vikings.
Smart move. You're an idiot.
I laid that trap perfectly. I don't think the Packers are so bad.
They're never going to win that game. You fell for the trap, idiot.
Shut up. You shut up.
It's actually my mortal lock and advisor, so I really do like him. All right.
Memes. Jaguars minus two and a half.
Oh, head to head with PFT. Hank, double.
Bears plus eight and a half. Tyson Bajan, Moneyline.
Love it. Love it.
And then I'm going to go in honor of Olivia. Bengals 49ers over 43 and a half.
Okay. Memes.
Vikings Packers over 42. Okay.
Remember when Olivia Soprano died? Do you know the Vikings are actually like six and one to the under, I think this year. I did not know that.
Makes no sense. They miss it by like a couple points.
Yeah, by half a point every time. All right i will go falcons titans under oh i like that max i like what you did there you've got 35 and a half army navy wow okay go ahead jake i'm going to go with eagles commanders over 43 and a half It wasn't like 34, 31.
Yeah. The other time.
Exactly. I'll go again.
Fine. You little small.
Part two. All right, PFT.
I'm going to take the Ravens, Cardinals over 44.5. Did someone take the Seahawks? No.
I'll take the Seahawks minus three and a half and those are our picks we'll post them out on Sunday and let's do some fantasy fuckboys bum bum bum bum what's up fuckers what's up fuckers it's deadless big hole my stardom is Christoph Porzingis. Boo.
Unbelievable debut for the Seas. The spacing on the floor was incredible.
30 points. Game winning three.
Clutch gene defense. If he stays healthy, this team's winning number 18.
Oh, okay. My sit-em, Bellatrix Lestrange.
Of course. Oh, what? She's a murderous whore.
What'd she do? Took out Sirius. Took out the long bottoms.
Someone's got to stop this bitch. Right.
I've been saying that for years. And my sleeper.
I know exactly who it is. That's a good point.
Is driving into poles. Oh, shit.
You fall asleep at the wheel, or you're just blind as a bat. You just drive straight into a parking lot and into a pool.
You can suck my dick. It happens to a lot of guys.
The video is unbelievable. We're going to watch it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, I suck my dick from the back. I'm starting.
Hey, what's up, you cocksuckers? You cocksuckers. This is Buzz Flaviano.
What's up, Buzz? Great. Yeah, there we go.
They call me the b-man i'm starting i'm starting sam halloween spooky spooky making scary throws to scary terry this weekend love sam how i'm sitting giant poles in parking lots because some people pull it up on a fucking google maps and they say oh look at this day glow yellow that was wrapped around this pole telling you don't hit me and then all of a sudden somebody took the day glow yellow off and it's now a very hazardous pole that many people will be driving into god forbid god forbid my sleeper is carbon monoxide because you should change your carbon monoxide batteries when you set your clocks back which as we know this weekend good call what's up fuckers It's Santino Fantino My stardom this week is Barry Sanders
And a special fuck you to LinkedIn
Because Barry Sanders couldn't get into his LinkedIn
And he asked everyone to help him out
What fucking job is Barry Sanders looking for
I don't know but now I can't look up his resume
I have no idea what he did
He said LinkedIn has suspended my account
As they don't believe it's me
It is him
My cinema is the Chicago Bull
I'm sorry. Look up his resume.
I have no idea what he did. He said, LinkedIn has suspended my account as they don't believe it's me.
It is him. It's Barry.
My cinema is the Chicago Bulls. One game in, they got a players-only meeting.
Yeah, that's pretty good. That's sick.
Oh, Bill's had a players-only meeting, too. Yeah.
That's pretty good. They told Billy Donovan, take a hike.
And then my sleeper is Conestallians with the Michigan Manifesto. I want to read that manifesto.
It's going to be great. 550 pages.
That's a big-ass book. That's a huge book.
If you write a manifesto about something, you're fucked up. You're fucked up.
Real quick, with the manifesto, this is new news today. The FBI has actually joined the investigation to Michigan football.
Well, how many FBI agents went to Ohio State? Well, there already was an investigation. That's a separate.
Yeah, but this is a new investigation. The FBI now is investigating.
Because there was a staffer, I think Matt Weiss's name, he got all of his computers taken over the summer. Yeah.
Michigan. What's the difference between a manifesto and a mission statement? The manifesto is if you're going to murder somebody.
Yeah. Typically.
I'm more of a protocol guy. A written statement of a person's or group's beliefs, aims, and policies, especially their political beliefs.
Yeah, if you write a manifesto, you should be arrested. It's bad.
It's very bad. Stick with protocols.
There's a conspiracy theory that I am 100% on board with now about counter stallions. Yeah.
So Big T brought this to my attention yesterday. I've been digging into it a little bit.
There was some allegations that Michigan had also helped out future opponents of potential future playoff teams to get ahead of it so that Michigan would, in theory, have an easier time in the college football playoff. You go back and you look at South Carolina, who I think they scored zero points on offense yeah the week they before they played tennessee and then they dropped 60 points on tennessee yeah and then the week after that they go on the road against another top five team clemson and they beat clemson and they were a shitty team until those two weeks and the game against tennessee that's the first time that that south carolina had been wearing wristbands on defense.
The first time they've ever done that. Wait, the Clemson thing doesn't make sense, though, because Clemson sucked last year.
No, Clemson, I think at the time. No, they weren't in the college football playoff.
I'm pretty sure. Okay.
But I like the other part. Well, let's look it up.
Yeah, no, we just got to clean it up because I think the Clemson part might be Big T should let go of the Clemson part.
Okay, I asked Big T also to bring me a connection.
What is the connection between Michigan and South Carolina? Because if there's a connection, then I'll continue pulling on the string.
The defensive coordinator at South Carolina played defensive back at Stanford from 2007 to 2009 when Harbaugh was their head coach. Ooh, interesting.
It is interesting to think about. It's a lot of interesting things.
Clemson had lost the previous week to Notre Dame. They got smoked in November of 2022, or two weeks before, three weeks before.
So I guess the theory on this, so Clemson didn't stink at the time, right? They had taken a very bad one loss, a bad one loss. So the theory is that Harbaugh was looking ahead, protecting himself in case he lost to Ohio state.
Got it. To be like, we don't want to be the only, yeah, we don't want to go up against another one loss team and compete to see who's going to get it i don't hate it i don't hate it i love this story so much and there's two best there's two very funny possible outcomes to it one michigan wins the national championship which would be hilarious and then gets a lifetime ban and then lifetime ban uh two michigan if like all this shit is real then the big 10 probably not the ncaa the Big Ten might say you're not playing in our championship game this year and Michigan would I don't know if they might not be eligible if there's enough shit going on behind the scenes the only problem is the NCAA works so slow they do Jim Harbaugh still opening investigation for the COVID violations that's true they drag their feet so.
I have had some very high level conversations with the highest of levels at Barstool Sports about a potential national championship game. If Michigan is bowl ineligible between Michigan and James Madison, if James Madison is also undefeated.
I like that. We're not thinking about James Madison.
The conversations have started. Yes.
I like that. High level.
High high level high level high level the highest the highest of level conversations the level i've had a couple sit downs with some big shot callers here um they're talking about okay i like it hank what's up did you get to see pft's video i haven't yet have you seen it pft i have seen the video yeah can i see it can we see it oh what do you mean my video great we can see the listeners out there we can see it uh the video of you crashing into a pole so how did you see it because i was the one that got the security footage yesterday max no you didn't yeah i went into this into the office i was like hey let me see the surveillance footage and the guy started playing it for me and downloading it i was the one that got it you came in late i have not seen it i would like to see it also everyone subscribe to the youtube because we now have the capabilities of playing videos for ourselves in studio watch this poll so we might start doing this like a jamie please pull up pft crashing into a pole okay so there's the pole where's the there you said there's another car actually i can't even. Oh, no.
This is not helping. I can't even see the pole because it's yellow.
I'm a good driver thing. So what we're not seeing right now is the giant 18-wheeler that was coming at me from the left.
You guys didn't even get all the angles. He said he was going to send you all the angles.
He was like, awesome powers going back and forth. Oh, no, PFT.
This is a bad look. Okay.
There we go. There's my car.
And then crunched right into it. Oh, no.
And then I backed up. And the sensors, you know the sensors are going crazy right now.
Every sensor was going nuts. And you just were like, nah, I'm fine.
And I'm trying to get out. Oh, and you're scraping it more? I can't even see that pull.
Oh, my God. Oh, this is not helping.
I'm a good driver. But you do it.
That's it, though, right?
You didn't even play it from the start.
Then I get out of there.
There's no 18-wheeler.
No cars inside.
See that car on the left?
On the far left?
Yeah, like 100 feet away?
No, that's a FedEx 18-wheeler that made me turn out of there because I had to.
Which is a pretty routine turn that you're making.
The FedEx is on the street. Yeah, and this is also a right.
The FedEx is right here. This is a pretty routine turn that you're making.
The FedEx is on the street. Yeah, and this is also a...
The FedEx is right here. This is a very regular turn.
I'm a perfect driver. Yeah, okay.
Well, Jake's not allowed to laugh. You hear that, Jake? I'm not laughing.
You're not allowed to laugh. Yeah, but if you thought about laughing, then cut it out.
Yeah. I'm not laughing.
Okay. You rooted for Jim Boeheim.
I just want to know. You rooted for Dan Snyder's team for a very long time.
Say what you want about Dan Snyder, but I don't think he. Yeah, you're wrong, Jake.
He has a driver. Also, Jake's a big Tony Elliott guy.
Tony Stewart. Tony Stewart.
Big Tony Stewart guy. Play the hits.
I need to know. Don't call it hits, dude.
What the fuck? It's not a game. Jesus Christ.
Now Jake's laughing. I'm laughing at how stupid I am.
That backfired. I made a bad turn, but that pole came out of nowhere.
And the fact remains that the pole used to be clearly marked as a safety hazard with yellow. And then Hank designs a parking lot.
And all of a sudden, the safety yellow is completely gone. You did this, Hank.
You did this. I'm going to fix it.
I'm going to get a giant fathead of you there to commemorate the moment and remind people not to drive into this pole.
So like two days ago, I was just looking at how awesome my car was before I ran into this pole. And then now it's just like, I'm so disappointed in myself.
It's a sick car though. There's gotta be a guy.
Someone hit us up. Auto Body Shop.
Give us a nice deal. No free ads.
No free ads. All right.
Let's get to Kyle Long. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
Long-term, long-time friend of the show. Recurring guest.
In person. First ever in-person guest in the new part of my Take Studios.
It is Kyle Long, our guy. Three-time Pro Bowler.
No big deal. You can see him on CBS on Sundays.ays you can see him on the green light podcast you can also see him on the barstool pro football football show uh on friday nights and sunday mornings rear uh kyle what's going on boys welcome it's great to see you awesome studio awesome building here i'm so happy i was just saying before we started i'm secondhand proud of you guys like your family and you are family yes we've been uh nurturing this relationship for a while so it's great to see y'all in studio i appreciate that does that mean how he's our dad too yeah how he's you know somewhere in there you know you might get some kick down some uh some kickbacks from the old flat top i just want to i want the ability to visit the montana house for like one week a year you got it and there's nobody willing to invite more people to our summer home than my dad.
He's so proud of it. Like you guys are of the studio.
Dad's like, have you been to Montana? Yeah. You know, you guys talked to him.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, we talked to him. It was a great interview.
I want to go to Montana and I want PFT and I to go out on a boat and pretend that we're in trouble. So he has to rescue us to get those numbers up.
Yeah. Well, the thing is, if he does rescue you in the the middle of the lake dad always brings the biodegradable soap just in case in the emergency of you're really dirty he's like did you know you could you can bathe out here it's a big bath catch this soap i love that that's such a dad thing because he's going out there to save you but also he's bringing a dad fact with him he's like did you know that this lake is so clean that it could actually be bathwater? Yes.
This Mr. Kiel's, Dr.
Kiel's soap will actually benefit the fish population. He was great.
He was great on the show. And I didn't realize it before we interviewed him that he was in that thing you do.
Yeah. So did you, when did you find out that your dad played a gay guy in that thing you do? That's a great question.
Great question. I knew that he was, he had a part, a small part, something like in the director's cut, I believe.
It was the scene with Tom Hanks and my dad leaving a nice hotel going to a date night. And dad's waiting in the car for Tom Hanks, who's trying to get his band members back to the hotel.
They've been drunk all night. So he's like, I'm going on a date.
But yeah, dad, Tom Hanks dating in a drop- Corvette, probably, you know, 1960s Corvette. It was a good look for my dad.
Yeah. And actually, it is a big come up.
If your dad, in theory, in like movie land, Hollywood world, if he is good looking enough where he could conceivably play Tom Hanks boyfriend. Yeah, he's a dual threat.
Just like when you look at some of these quarterbacks, they can it they can stand in the pocket dad yeah he's got it yes at a high level yes um all right so i mentioned at the top you you you analyze football for a living now which actually before we talk about the nfl right now and maybe some week eight picks uh how do you like analyzing football for a living is it is it a little weird sometimes i thought it was going to be a lot easier than it is okay honestly uh you know every sunday luckily i just do pre-game i don't have to do post-game and i'm with cbs sports and we tee up the nfl today show with phil sims and and boomer and all those guys but my job is give people my opinions before the game what's going to happen and i don't have to answer them after the's great. I don't have to come back in at halftime and say, well, I was way fucking off on Detroit this week, which is great.
And, you know, that's fun. I get to talk from an O-lineman's perspective, which there's not many of in TV.
You get a lot of skill players. You get a lot of quarterbacks, coaches.
Cowboys. You get a lot of journalists.
Yeah. But I think the offensive line community is one that isn't, isn't able to speak up on a national level enough.
And I love what Whitworth's done with Amazon. He does a really good job and they let him lead some segments, which is great.
I think he's an ass kicker and a great guy. But as, as far as I go, yeah, I watch, I watch what I watch, which is a line of scrimmage.
and if you do something worth talking about outside of that i'm probably going to talk about it but it's it's hard you know it's hard you have to come up with fresh things to say every week i can't just say their d-line's better yeah yeah yeah you got a lot of tips you can you can just call people frauds i can call people frauds which i've done yeah i called daniel jones daniel loans a couple years ago and that was my first like step over the line i was like daniel loans and people were like that wasn't that good yeah you can also just make stuff up you can make stuff up which i have yeah if you're wrong you'd be like that was a bit yep that's that's essentially the entirety of this show you have to check the injury reports too because like you and PFT, we know the teams. We know the rosters.
No, I oftentimes like to let it surprise me. When you're asked about these, it's like somebody was like, what's going to happen in this game? I'm like, well, so-and-so's going to have a great game.
They're like, so-and-so's on IR. Yeah.
And I'm like, who was going to tell me that before this show? I like to get to the games on Sunday and be like, wait, I haven't seen this guy. And someone's like, oh, well, he broke his leg last week.
I'm like, oh, that's cool. You know what else you get to do is like if a player, let's say Brock Purdy on Monday Night Football, Brock Purdy doesn't play well.
Then you go out and you absolutely like crucify the guy. Then I'd say like, this guy sucks now.
And then they announce, well, he actually had a concussion in the second half. Then you say, that's bullshit.
They're making excuses for him. You get to say that injuries aren't real, too, which is a real fun part of the show.
Oh, man. And that's one thing that's tough about being in the media is they say, like, if you're calling a game or something and you guys have called live events, they say if there's an injury, you're just supposed to say the guy's down.
You're not supposed to take guess. We're not doctors.
We're not any of that stuff. And that's a point of emphasis before the season when you have your seminar, your webinar or whatever.
They're like, guys, you're not doctors. Like when Romo speculated.
He's like, I don't want to speculate here, but that looks like a sprained ankle for Dak Prescott when his foot was turned back. We did a rough and rowdy once when a guy had a seizure after getting knocked out, and I did the right thing of not talking about it, but I didn't realize the whole time they had the camera on us, and I was just like this.
I had my hands over my head, and everyone was like, did the guy die? All we see is dan just looking like he died so yeah i i gotta learn on that i asked jim nance uh you know for any advice you know you ask you get an opportunity to have a phone call with a guy like jim nance it was a conference call it wasn't like i called jim nance but uh you know jim any advice and he was like you know it's important to remember that it's a visual medium and i was like before, before he could even continue, I was like, fuck. Sometimes silence is golden.
Yes. And he paused for five seconds.
And he was like, you don't have to fill up this space. He was like, people are watching the game.
They happen to be listening to us. That's good.
That's really good. Well, I have some advice for CBS.
If you want to take this to the suits upstairs. Great.
CBS, fantastic network. I love watching games on your TV station.
Am I going to get invited to it on Sunday? On Fox, one thing that I think CBS could maybe learn from a little bit that Fox does is when a player gets injured, they play the Fox NFL Sunday music, but they do the somber version of it. Got it.
And they go to commercial break. They need a somber CBS song.
Yeah, you need injury music to let people know, like, hey, we're playing the buffer music, but also we're not happy about it. We're not excited.
Like, I think both me and Big Cat have said in the past that we want the Fox NFL injury music to be played at our funeral. As you lower the casket.
It's like, which stadium has the most disrespectful PA announcer? Like, if somebody goes down, what are they going to play? Yeah. I mean, it's always what another one bites the dust.
Yeah. I've heard it all.
A guy that's been injured in every stadium in America. Like I've heard all the songs.
That's a nice set. That's a nice little trophy in your, in your closet.
Yeah. Just a guy who's been injured in every state.
Just a stack of fucking band-aids. Like, uh, you know, and some dirt to to rub on it yeah like worst injury of the year could be an end of the year nfl award like you have the golden crutch yeah hey sorry well they give you the ed block courage award which i've won i won it uh i won it because i came back from a brutal injury that's the award essentially like somebody who showed toughness and the ability to get back on the horse and And then I got injured again, and they were like, yeah, he can't win the award again.
He can't keep doing this. They kept voting me in, and they were like, no, no, no.
It's got to be somebody else. Yeah, yeah.
He's getting injured on purpose. Getting injured sucks.
Yeah, I mean, let's actually go into that real quick, because it is very fascinating when we hear guys talk about injuries, because we think, oh, okay, oh yeah like you know you're still around the team you're still part of the thing but that's not how it works the nfl is that the worst part about the injury the fact that you are essentially a ghost in the facility you took the word right out of my mouth if people don't talk to you people don't even like converse with you yeah i mean not only are you not playing and not helping, but throughout the day, your schedule's different. You know what I mean? You may go to meetings with the office.
Let's say I get an injury to my lower leg. I can't play for six weeks.
For six weeks, I'm going to be lifting by myself with the training staff. I'm going to be in early with the training staff.
I'm going to be in late with the training staff. I'm not going to be able to practice with my guys.
They guys they're gonna eat lunch at a different time than i am you become a ghost you become a stranger to your own closest friends and then when you get back in the building after you've rehabbed and done all the things that they said if you do this you'll be be able to come back you get back you don't feel like yourself on the field and that's become your identity throughout the years then you say yeah this isn't me i don good. I don't feel good at all.
And then you start to have the self-doubt. And then that injury becomes your career.
Yeah. Do you ever have coaches that blamed you for getting injured? Yes.
That's the worst, isn't it? Yes. Why'd you step there? Dude.
This guy's got pussy bones. We went to Tampa Bay, and we were playing in my fourth year, I believe,
and we had a fullback by the name of Paula Sique,
who had a voice like an angel, like a songbird, but he was a rugby guy.
I think he was Kiwi.
I like this guy.
He's checking all the boxes.
We ran the Andy Reid shovel pass in the low red area.
Okay.
I was on the deuce block.
So it's a double team with me and the right – I guess I was playing guard it would have been the right tackle we're double teaming a guy cutler flips the ball to lecica behind the deuce you know they go with the shovel pass option um and the ball was fumbled it landed on my legs near the back of my legs while i'm driving into the end zone and the pile falls on my legs, specifically my right ankle, which just got exploded.
And I remember I went in after I got surgery I got surgery like two days later I went in to go meet with my coach and he was like you know if you just use that fucking technique that I told you what a dickhead oh and I remember looking at him like you've got to be kidding kidding. Yeah.
In this moment here, that's what you chose to say. Yeah.
Like the entire pile just fell on my leg. What the fuck do you want me to do? Yeah.
I mean, so that does happen. And, you know, was it my fault? Maybe.
Was it not my fault? Maybe. Yeah.
Football shit happens. There's bodies flying around everywhere.
Me and Will Compton were talking about it today. I said, there's some days I look at this game and I say, I can still play.
And then he today i said there's some days i look at this game and i say i can still play and then he said and there's some days i look at the game and i'm like how did i play this right right with all the bodies flying that's crazy so so uh when it comes to like coming back from injury you just said it like the self-doubt how how do you deal with that where you're like i know i should be moving this guy in front of me, but I can't.
There's like a 10% of my strength is not there or I'm missing something. And how do you – because I would imagine that happens in literally every locker room in the NFL and teams that are going through that.
Like a bunch of guys who get injuries, you think, oh, they're back.
But you don't realize that actually they're not back until they overcome that self-doubt. self doubt you know there's levels to there's different categories of players in the nfl as it pertains to response to injury like you go watch lane johnson last week against jalen phillips lane johnson's out there on one leg jalen phillips is one of the premier rushers in the nfl lane johnson's holding his own is he in pain 100 there's no self-doubt in there though yeah some of these guys are just wired differently joe burrow on a calf look like shit the first few weeks but he's like guys i'm okay right like i'm joe burrow right patrick mahomes every week seems as if he's limping yeah yeah people are always around his feet but he's got mental toughness i i was gifted physically i could do things that guys can't do.
I can roll out of bed and go jump over something or run through something. But when you get injured, when I got injured, it was devastating mentally and from a confidence standpoint.
And when you get back, before you even try to block somebody, you go through warm-ups. You go through high knees.
You go through side shuffles. And if you feel like shit during high knees, I promise you you'll feel even worse during football.
So if this is your return, like I'm thinking about Kyler Murray, 21 practice day return window. He probably feels good in Indy and all that stuff.
When things crank up, when he has to avoid a rush, when he's got to put that leg in the ground a different way, it may not feel the same. Some guys just don't listen to that voice.
I was a guy that did. And when it happened repeatedly, four years in a row, you start to say, hey, man, let's just get out of here alive.
Can I tell you something, though? That makes you normal. Yeah.
What you're describing right now is not a deficiency that you have. think that's what 99.9 percent of people have based off uh 500 000 years of evolution basically it's like hey if you're injured then protect that injury and if it feels bad then that shouldn't be something you continue to do so it's like it's a normal thing that you have but some guys are just just like, OK, they can tune that out.
And they're absolute psychos.
Like Tyreek Hill is another guy that I feel like he gets injured every week for like two plays and he gets back in the game.
Yeah, he puts his head down.
He does.
He sulks a little bit, but he's walking at nine miles an hour.
Yeah.
And he gets back to the huddle and he's like, just throw it to me again.
Your brother told me the funniest, like he explained an injury in the NFL.
And he said the worst part of getting injured in the NFL is that you get injured and then you go into the locker room and then you're sitting there in a ton of pain. And there's a dude who's like 140 pounds wearing khakis and a team issued polo with his hands on his hips being like, you really not going to get back out there? And you just want to be like, dude, shut the fuck up.
No, well, they don't even ask you that question. Big cat.
What they say is, so are we going to tape this or are we going to what do you want to cast or they didn't even ask you they're like so you are going to play how are we going to get it done right right right and just being frustrated with like fuck i need a second here uh oh go ahead i was going to say as an analyst like welcome to the big leagues you're you know big time cbs now your words carry weight behind them um i was actually looking at your rankings of america's teams that you put out now this wasn't on cbs this was with green light on green light with your brother chris uh it says right here that you have the houston astros as america's team so i went second so this thing is uh the america's team has taken on a life of its own right every week we get to pick who we to pick who we think America is going to hang their hat on as their favorite team. And I thought, you know, with Michigan cheating, with Houston's history of cheating, I saw the response to Michigan.
It was a polarizing response, I would say. And I like Altuve, and I like to ruffle feathers.
And Chris is a Phillies fan, so I picked the Phillies and the Astros to play in the World Series and then I picked the Astros to beat the
Phillies. It looks like we're all wrong.
Yes. You were right
last year. But America's teams, they're
fun. Yeah.
I would say right
now America's team, in terms of the NFL
if you had to say which team
it's the Lions. The Lions
are kind of there.
You still got to go Chiefs, though, right?
Chiefs.
Yeah.
Eagles.
Eagles.
Yeah.
I would say Chiefs.
And now more so than ever, the Niners, because Brock Purdy's being doubted.
Sam Darnold's playing this week, or we think.
Yes, I think he is, yeah.
Brock Purdy's being doubted.
Nobody roots for a team harder than a team with a guy that's being doubted.
Yeah.
And Brock Purdy's the guy. And, yeah, I team harder than a team with a guy that's being doubted.
Yeah.
And Brock Purdy's the guy.
And, yeah, I would say the Niners are on my America's team.
The Vikings, they were frisky as a motherfucker that night. They might be.
We're going to get back to Kyle Long in a second,
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Last minute tickets. and now here's more kyle long uh okay i want to talk about some some teams right now uh and we just mentioned the chiefs you were in kansas city for was a year two years year year how the fuck is andy reed this good at coaching i i like we we've been saying for the last few weeks the Chiefs have reached their final form of the dynasty Patriots in that they brought back Nicole Hardman.
They're also winning with defense now and Patrick Mahomes isn't doing these shot plays. They've morphed into a different team and they just keep winning.
They didn't miss a beat, but if you look at these Chiefs first Chiefs five years ago, they are playing completely different ball. One thing that stands out to me about all successful coaches in this league is they all have that X factor.
Whatever it is that they do, they do it very well. Andy Reid understands the offensive line position as well as anybody I've played around.
He also gives the keys to the car to Andy Heck, who is the offensive line coach. And that's a name that doesn't get talked about enough for the Chiefs.
But he's the run game coordinator as well.
Andy Reid's in charge of screens.
He talks to the linemen.
He knows the linemen better than anybody.
Better than anybody not named Andy Heck.
Right.
Which most head coaches don't do that.
They're not that involved with the offensive line. The offensive line is the biggest group in numbers on the football field.
With the Chiefs, they're the most talented group on the football field. Tackle to tackle, the inside three, they're great.
Andy Reid knows that that's the strength of the football team. But in addition to that, they have Patrick Mahomes.
In addition to that, they have Travis Kelsey. And to your point, Steve Spagnuolo's defense, 21 points or less in each of the first seven games, they look Patriots-ish where they find new ways to win each year.
It's crazy. You say, how are they going to do it? They don't have a receiver.
Well, they've got a great defense. Right.
Okay. Now their defense, you know, maybe their defense struggle.
Well, watch Rasheed Rice go put up 140 in one of these games. Right.
Nicole Hartman's back. That's great.
Huge punt return. He's a guy that knows how to press the buttons on his team.
He understands personalities. He lets you go.
One thing he always said was, Monday through Saturday, those are my days. Sunday's your day.
Oh, I like that. And I was like, huh, it makes sense.
His guys have fun. Yeah.
His guys have fun, and they win. Do you think sometimes he gets too cute with it, especially in the red zone? Oh.
Or does he get bored? Especially when he's playing. It's kind of the same thing.
When you're playing against the Broncos on a Thursday night game
and then you're running like these crazy double passbacks.
My question is this.
Is that Andy Reid or is that Matt Nagy calling the plays in Denver?
Well, because I feel like Andy did that before Matt Nagy was calling the plays.
Do you think that this recent game was a Matt Nagy special?
Which one?
Are you talking about?
The three wasted opportunities in the red area.
Probably a Matt Nagy special.
Yeah.
But I have seen a lot of Andy Reid doing that type of stuff, especially in the red zone where they're doing like a fake struggle pass, pass to a tight end. Look, there's a creative threshold, though, where it goes from creative to cute.
And I think we can agree on that where it's like, oh, wow, that was really creative. It worked.
I'll tell you what the threshold is because I know exactly where that line is. If it works, it's creative.
If it's 100 yeah 100 and we saw that with nags in green bay there was too many cute plays that didn't work and then obviously they have the people and the the installation right in kansas city where they can say the person making the decision on this cute play is number 15 patrick mahomes the ball's in good hand i think it can actually not work and still be creative if it looked like it could have worked. Yeah.
Like if a guy's open and you just missed the pass, it's dumb and cute whenever you get tackled for a loss. And the defense has to cover it.
Yeah, when you get tackled for a loss, it's instant like you got too cute. Also, if there's a pancake on the play.
If somebody on the offensive line steamrolls somebody, then it's not cute anymore, even if it is a double reverse pass back to Patrick Mahomes. That was powerful.
I love that. That offensive line's awesome.
They should get all the kudos that they can because everybody else gets talked about on that team, whether it's Chris Jones or Mahomes or Kelsey or Taylor Swift. The reality of it is you've got to beat people up front.
Creed Humphrey, Trey smith joe tooney and then taylor and smith their tackles they've been great this year and there was widely publicized all the penalties on juwan taylor at the right tackle spot but they're figuring out what's legal in terms of alignment okay so i like where we're going with this because when we talk about offensive linemen on the show we usually we try to spread out a little bit but like every other show we'll talk about the left tackle or the right tackle that's usually what we key on give us your top interior lineman on the offensive side of the ball in football I think if we're going to go group I'm going to go Kansas City okay group is Kansas City because you're only as strong as the guy next to you I truly believe in that and you mentioned tackles That's great's great one group of guards that i really like or at least the guard tackle combination is in chicago i love it yeah i love it they've got a guy named tevin jenkins who's an ass kicker he is a mood setter if he can stay healthy he's legit darnell right has been awesome has been great for the chicago bears um and put a big tight end next to him, and now you have a three-man wall where you can just wash the backside of a run play. And I think that's really underappreciated.
I'm glad you asked about the inside, guys. Yeah, we need to pay more respect to the guards.
Bill Callahan's group. The OGs.
Bill Callahan's group is great. He's a great coach.
He is a great coach. Everywhere he's been.
How did you guys let him out of the building? I don't know. I don't know how we let him out.
It feels like everywhere that Bill Callahan goes, the running game improves instantaneously. Wait, so I have a question because Bill Callahan's a phenomenal coach, and we were making this argument the other day that Dante Skarnackia might actually be the GOAT, not Brady or Belichick, because every time he coached the Patriots offensive line, they were incredible.
How are those two guys better than better than everyone else? Like, what is it? The technique or how they're teaching? Cause you'd think a coach is a coach to coach. Yeah.
Obviously a head coach. There's a lot involved, but like all these coaches in the NFL, the offensive line coach, they clearly know what they're doing, but there's still a couple of guys that are that much better than everyone else.
Can I tell you the difference? Yeah. I'm very interested in this because Dante Skarnickia feels like a wizard of odds.
I had a visit with all these coaches.
Okay.
Pre-draft.
Skarnickia, it was like old school.
It reminded me of like a scene from Rudy where they're in there watching film.
You know what I mean?
Like old school football.
I mean, they still run hills after practice.
They hit a heavy bag after practice.
People hate going to work in New England because they work so hard. Bill Callahan, I had my visit with him, and Frank Pollock, who is the O-line coach in Cincinnati, I believe now.
They were in Dallas together with Zach Martin. This is right before Zach Martin got drafted.
They had Tyron Smith and a few other guys. But Bill Callahan pulls up a play.
He says, all right, we're running this protection. You know, it's third down.
This is the linebacker we're responsible for. Who are you blocking? He essentially said, this guy comes down.
Who are you blocking? And he clapped like a second later, and he said, you can't play for me. Oh, damn.
Because you didn't answer right away? Right away. He said, quarterback's hit.
You can't play for me. Oh, I love that.
He left, and I did the rest of the meeting with Frank Pollock. Damn, that's awesome.
So to your question, I would say this. He doesn't have any room for bullshit.
Right. If you play for Bill Callahan, just like if you play for Bill Belichick, you better know what you're doing.
Right. Big Cat, what's the promo code for Muggsy? Take.
Yeah. No, he got it.
Can't play for me. No, he got it.
He got it. He can play.
I actually was offside. Yeah.
I've said that before. Chawan Taylor.
That's such a – that's so funny. Like, all right, my right-hand guy's going to handle this.
You're an idiot. There's some coaches that work you to death.
There's some coaches that expect you to have such a high football acumen and i think callahan's one of those guys and i wish i got that question right oh man did you answer it like after he left the room like costanza with the jerk i think i still don't know how to block i think i just said the three the three technique yeah all right so another offensive line question related uh tyson bajant is obviously starting for the right now. Justin Fields injured.
I feel bad for Justin Fields because it feels like no matter what, it's not going to work out. But this guy on Twitter who I've mentioned before, Robert Schmitz, he was the one who posted the initial video of Justin Fields taking a little bit slower in his dropbacks.
Tyson Bagent is a lot quicker in his dropbacks. How important that for an offensive line even like a fraction of a second does that make you guys that much happier where it's like he's getting to his spot so quickly we're going to be okay it's not necessarily the getting to the spot quickly which does matter yeah i mean you want to get to your spot quickly as a quarterback so that you can then what step up right or deliver the ball or get out of the pocket and seeing bajant be on time we always hear uh people say on schedule tyson bajant was on schedule there was nothing that he saw that thwarted his focus away from the guys down the field and you know one of my pet peeves is when people say he keeps his eyes downfield it's like where the fuck are you gonna look you know what i mean he not only keeps his eyes downfield he can make like, where the fuck are you going to look? You know what I mean? Uh-huh.
He not only keeps his eyes downfield, he can make the throws. When he's going outside the numbers, when he's forced off of his spot.
He gets to his spot so quickly that he can see the danger coming if somebody gets beat and get off his spot quickly. Yeah.
If you are oozing back to your spot, then it becomes a race to get out of there. He has his feet planted early, and the important thing is the ball's out.
Yeah. The ball's out, dude.
And I remember when Russell Wilson was playing in Seattle, that he was doing great, but he was running around like nobody's business. I would have hated to have played offensive line for Russell Wilson.
Yeah. I would have given up a ton of sacks.
Right. When I played for Cutler, I knew Cutler was going to stand in the pocket and throw the ball.
It may have been to the other team. It may have been to our team.
But at the end of the day, no sacks. Right.
We're all happy. Right.
So if I'm an offensive lineman, I'm happy to see what Tyson Bajan's done for Chicago. And I know the receivers like him.
And you can hear the guys on the sidelines saying, man, this kid's got moxie. Yeah.
There's something about him. He's got some swag.
I'm sure that he will have like his you know shoe dropping moment where it's like oh yeah this is why he's division two and was undrafted but it is crazy to watch the side-by-side video of him just how quickly he gets back and how the offensive line can just look that much better i think we should i wish we had ability i wish we had brains to do advanced stats to be able to discern exactly when it is the quarterback's fault. Because you guys get screwed.
Russell Wilson is a perfect example. He would get sacked a lot, but a lot of them weren't his offensive line's fault.
It was him running into sacks. I think after five seconds, it should be considered a tackle for loss.
Okay. I like that.
Purely based on... Yeah, because there's no chance that you can block a guy from five seconds.
Right. I mean, it's like we watched Jalen Hurts or – no, who was it? Lamar Jackson run around.
Ten seconds he had. Ten seconds.
And then these DBs are supposed to cover for ten seconds? That shouldn't be a completion against me. Yeah.
You're right. We need to start doing this.
It's an advanced analytics. Our opinions on, yeah, it's advanced analytics and it's slightly opinion.
It's just strictly the eye test that we give it, but we keep track of it. Yeah.
And how many belong to the quarterback, how many belong to the O-line.
Yeah, it's like the Sam Howell conversation we had this morning.
I mean, Sam Howell is on record to be, and everybody said this,
Sam Howell's on record to break the sack record.
By a lot.
By a shitload.
But stick with me here.
The Washington Commanders, they are top five in the nfl with time before pressure right which tells me that sam howe is just not fucking throwing the ball if you look at his sack numbers um the time in pocket before he gets sacked is uh it's astronomical it's like one of the high he spends more time in the pocket than any other quarterback in the nfl All the other guys that are closely grouped in that position with him that spend like, I don't know, like three to six seconds before a sack occurs, they're some of the least sack quarterbacks in the NFL because they're moving around, they're keeping their eyes downfield. But Sam gets sacked a ton when he spends a long time in the pocket.
So I kind of agree with you. It's not just the O-line.
It's the defense, too. The defense is not great.
Can we talk about that? The defense is not great. Actually, the Commanders might be America's team, if I'm thinking about it.
Literally. Yeah, they are America's team.
They used to be great a while ago, and everyone's lost faith in them. A guy named Harris.
The guy that runs the show is always asleep. Ron Rivera.
Can we do something about Rivera? What is he doing? What is Rivera doing on the sidelines? Is he coaching? I think he's coaching. I think he's just, you know, he's dealing with personalities probably.
Like you see last week, Jonathan Allen's frustrated. I love that though.
I love it too. And I love it too.
And I've been in Jonathan Allen's shoes and I could totally have, you know, I can empathize with what he's going through. But, you know, I look at this defense and they are just, you know, are just forged from steel up front.
They're a group that has way too much talent to be doing the things that they're doing, giving up the points that they're giving up. And I think a lot of it falls on Jack Del Rio.
You can't just have four guys and expect those four guys to get home. In this iteration of the NFL, you need to manufacture pressure.
You need to dial up blitzes. You need to put the pressure on the offense.
Yeah, when we were blitzing a couple weeks ago, it was working. We were getting home.
We were putting pressure on them. And there are some times when that front four will get pressure.
Like Chase Young has been better this year. You're going to get home with him.
Montez Sweat is a great player. Jonathan Allen, Payne, I think those guys are all very good players.
I don't put the blame on them for this. I think that in the schemes that they're running, they're asking their rookie cornerback emmanuel forbes who's been benched now um to you know to stand out there and cover elite guys one-on-one and he's too aggressive to do that if if pressure isn't getting home if a guy's like trying to jump a route but your defensive end isn't going to get to the quarterback for another second that's going to result in giving up 150 yards to aj brown every single time yeah it's just's just bad.
It's bad on the defense. Okay.
So off of this dumb question, very dumb question. And no, you don't have to name names, but you've obviously been in a lot of locker rooms when a coach has lost the locker room.
Is it something that like every player says to each other? Like, yeah, I think he's lost it. I think he's lost the locker room.
Do you guys like send a message around? Yeah. I mean, where's the locker room? Yeah.
Hey, anyone's seen the locker room? You're looking underneath the couch. Locker rooms on a milk cart.
I just saw John Fox looking around, lifting up, like lifting up rugs. I think he's trying to find the locker room.
You know, there was too many to remember. Too many locker rooms lost.
You're like, are you a locker room thief? Were you taking it? You're like the Bermuda triangle of locker rooms. I was like the toilet that gets passed down through a shitty house that gets sold to another owner.
I'm just like, yeah, you can shit on me. I'll be here.
Cal's got seven locker rooms over the course of his career. Just sit down.
Yeah. You always, as a player, feel like you can win football games.
I mean, regardless of how bad your team is, that's why they made a movie any given sunday it's real i mean that's real but you can also feel like you have a coach that's going to put you in bad situations right right and yeah i mean it's tough playing in the nfl is tough you have to have so many things right from quarterback to line play to defense to the staff and we just didn't get it right in chicago for a long time we had some things right yeah pieces we had pieces right there were years where we had a great defense there were years where we had an explosive offense but we couldn't get complimentary yeah all that i love complimentary football it's my favorite and to your point when you do get to that point in the season where you're like we're fucked yeah it's like who are we You kind of get excited. Yeah, right.
Like new faces. We don't want to be the number one pick, but who are we going to get? Who are we going to get? Do you get a little boost towards the end of the season if you know that the coach isn't coming back where it's like, okay, now it's time to play for my job.
You know, I've got to go out there and I have to perform individually. Can you feel that difference when guys start thinking about their own futures with the team as opposed to the team? Every day in the NFL is an opportunity to invest in your future.
I remember when Akeem Hicks first showed up to Chicago and I was like, I was doing the math. Like, Akeem Hicks, okay, this guy's a monster.
I played him when he was in New Orleans and he was a load. I had to ice my neck for like three weeks.
But he came to the building and it became evident to me that practice wasn't going to be as easy for me. And said there's two ways i can go about this i can challenge this motherfucker every day and we can both get better or i can just be the guy that brother-in-law's in practice and we're not going to get any better and our team's definitely not going to get any better akeem and i made the decision to go at it every day our lockers were right next to each other we hated each other in practice but when we got to the locker room we shared a can of dip we were buddies um i think that's the decision that all these guys and all these locker rooms have to make like i think about denver and all these great players that they're potentially going to ship out yeah and that's what i said this is gonna be a showcase game for those guys the chiefs yeah this is a free agency tryout this is is a trade tryout.
It's a combine.
That's what the end of the season is.
But it just it weighs on you when it happens every year.
Yeah.
Year after year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How sweet is it when you sign a big contract, though?
It's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
When you're sitting there eating your oatmeal and they're like, it's done six year, 50 million dollar.
And the guy sitting next to you's like hey buddy that's
you buddy it makes all the shitty days worth it but then you get your money and you're like but we're still like we still can't win i still feel bad in the morning sometimes when you when you got the contract did you cry um i don't know if i don't know if i cried i was just juiced i was just juice. It was
funny because it was after my third
year.
The Bears don't know if i cried i was just juiced i was just juice yeah uh it was it was funny because it was after my third year um and the bears don't re they don't extend people early and i remember that's a good way to do business yeah johnson's going through that right now i remember yeah pay that guy yes pay jaylen johnson lose the orange sleeves pay jaylen johnson but i remember i was in my i had made three straight pro bowls they had just moved me to tackle in my third year and i was like so the fuckery is beginning right you know what i mean and i had a five-year deal with a club option for a fifth year because i was a first rounder and i remember my dad said to me he was like things are going great you're doing awesome you're you're blocking your ass off but you got to get your deal done now he was like it's not about the big number it's about the guaranteed number get it done now and i remember being like they've never done a deal and my agent at the time marvin demoff did a great job and made it happen um and i remember we went to joint practice and practiced against the patriots and they had jamie collins who at the time was the akeem hicks of linebackers yeah I was like. He's an ass kicker.
And I remember Joey, our cap guy, was on the sideline with Pace before practice, before the week of practice. I walked up to him, and this was right when we were opening contract talks.
I walked up to Joey, and I said, how much does he make? And he told me, I said, fucking watch this. And the whole week, I was just trying to find Jamie Collins.ins oh my god and i got signed soon after that that's awesome and uh but the the point of this is you sign early and then you get hurt you're still taken care of right if you don't sign early then i could be looking at three straight pro bowls and just living on a rookie deal the rest of my life right right so kudos to my dad who had the foresight to be like no no get no, no.
Get it done. He's a smart guy.
Do guys ever look sideways at a teammate that's holding out, that's making a big deal in the media about their contract? Or is it usually just like, hey, we understand the business we're in. We'll support a guy.
Yeah, it'd be great to have him out here practicing with us. I don't really remember anybody holding out.
Do you? No. And it does seem like the one thing that all the players are aligned with every locker room is like never talk about someone else's money.
Leave. Yeah.
Stay out of the. It happened a little bit in Kansas City, though, with Chris Jones this year.
Yes. Remember that? Yeah.
Well, I wasn't there for that, but I think everybody in that locker room understands that Chris Jones is the reason for the season on defense. And they're like, hey, whatever SAC Nation wants, SAC Nation gets.
And he got it, and he's come back. He's had a sack in every game.
His name's Sac Nation? I didn't know that. That's like he's the commander of Sac Nation.
I thought that was because his ball sack ruptured through his compression shorts at the combine. I think it would be the peen team.
Yeah. Did you have a problem with that, Kyle? Mine doesn't hang.
Yours never broke through a pair of compression shorts. I hear the word flop a lot, where it was cold in that locker room ac works in washington but i gotta say you know it's frustrating and we did that we did the episode i remember i called you and i was like guys we gotta do that i gotta get in front of you literally you were like it was actually i felt so proud that we had made it to a point where it's like if a dick accidental dick pic comes out, we are the PR team.
Was that what it was? Yeah. That I saw on TV.
No, it was like PR team. All right, we've got to get our aces on this.
We're going to call BFD and Big Cat. I mean, that's awful.
I mean, think about it, though. It's like you're one Google away from seeing a stack of nickels.
Yeah. So I just think about all the people that never wore compression shorts yeah never sweat through a pair of pants yes yeah never ran around for four hours yeah you're an athlete i'm no world beater yeah but i will say you know yeah that was about a core representation it was all right that's that's one thing i think a lot of women don't understand is that any given moment of any given day your penis can fluctuate wildly yes right now i'm a tic tac right now sitting and talking to you i think i'm an indoor animal can you just announce our dick sizes of the given moment i actually think i'm having a good dick moment right now i'm i'm like i'm like i wore the wrong jeans for a good dick mugsy jeans actually help with that yeah they do they do they get a nice little cradle on page jeans needs to fix their you know coxage uh i have a question about podcasting life because obviously you and your brother doing a great job green light pft and i have both been on multiple times awesome podcast uh maybe not exactly the podcast, but you guys are playing in a softball league.
You won. That's fucked up.
That's fucked up. If I was playing in adult men's softball and the Long Brothers show up, and you're just ripping...
We're effort guys. We're not athletes.
But you were ripping balls down the line. Big lefty hitter.
Didn't you get drafted by the MLB? Yeah. White Sox.
You just said, we're not athletes. I was a pitcher.
You were a professional baseball player. The one thing they don't let me do in softball is throw hard.
And I was a left-handed through 97. So I'm like, I'm playing one-handed out here.
Have there been moments where guys have been like, wait, this is not what I signed up for? No, because if you're from an area like Virginia, you understand that baseball is one of those things that everybody plays. And if you're not playing lacrosse, you have a baseball bat in your hand.
And there's a lot of skilled dudes. And I don't know if you know this about softball, but, I mean, there's kind of a ceiling to the shit you can do.
It's true. It's true.
The old guy who knows where to place the ball can be just as good. When you're playing a team with a bunch of roofing shirts and baseball pants, you're like, we could be in trouble here today, in trouble here right right um you know when six of the wives are behind the the home plate smoking cigs you're like these guys are good dude it's always it's always when the opposing team has like a whole posse there and it's the biggest point of their week i remember prime time yeah when we would play and it would be like oh shit they got a cooler they got kids there like these people this is their day.
It's their prime time. Yeah, when we would play and it would be like, oh shit, they got a cooler.
They got kids there. It's like these people, this is their day.
Nine o'clock first pitch, there's babies. Yeah, right.
You're always in trouble when that happens. Yeah, some of the wives have just like a little bit of face paint underneath their eyes like their moms at the Little League World Series when they show up.
You don't invite your whole family out if you suck at football. My father--in-law came one time, and I was like, I can't wait.
We went and played golf that day, and I was like, well, I didn't hit it well at golf.
I can't wait until you see me hit a softball.
You know what I mean?
It's way different.
It's great.
I hit it every time.
I think I ground it out twice and had two infield pop flies.
And he was like, you guys aren't very good.
So I'm a firm believer in don't bring your fucking family because you can lie about it. Yeah, right, right.
how is your golf game going i've seen some video did you quit i quit what made you quit uh i reached out to frankie borelli about playing in the barstool classic and it was just i got ghosted that's that's bullshit frank that's the pinnacle of my career would be potentially losing some balls in the barstool classic would you make a comeback if frankie by the grace of you to play? Yeah, I might have to go through like rigs or something. Yeah.
Well, I mean, we're going to have a simulator here, and you're going to be back a bunch of times. I'm a huge – so I'm a simulator golfer.
That's what I am. Okay.
You're always 10 steps from a refrigerator. You know what I mean? That's smart, yeah.
There's a lot of things you can have in the sim that'll make your day a lot more enjoyable. Are you still race car driving? I do.
I do some of the simulator stuff on iRacing. It's a lot of fun.
I haven't done it as much. Dad life has taken some of those hours.
You really feel like a shithead when you are playing video games as a dad. And you're like, And I do feel like a shithead.
Yeah, real shithead. Real shithead.
I feel bad in my airplane simulator when Blake is in the next room just whining at me. Like, he wants to play.
And I'm like, I can't. I'm being a bad dog.
How is Blake? He's huge. He's like 60 pounds now.
Almost six months old. It's almost your size.
That's nice. That's funny.
It's funny. Actually, no.
I think that's a compliment because I've been feeling kind of fat recently. Really? Yeah.
I've been feeling a little chalky. You don't look fat.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
But the shirtless picture of us, me, Big Cat, and Jersey Jerry behind Max on the couch came out. There's just a lot of unflattering angles.
You know how the internet is. Yeah.
They're mean. It happens.
It's vest season for guys with tits. Yes.
Yeah. Layers, sweatshirt season.
It's my favorite day of the year when that temperature drops. You're like, oh, you won't see.
Even if I'm sweating, I'll keep the vest on. Yeah.
You won't see the contours of my body for six months. Nope.
This rules. Yeah.
All right. Last question.
This has been awesome. Kyle, you're the best.
You will be back a few times. So, well, I guess this is going to come out after.
But when Kyle does come, he's going to stream with us as well. So, we're going to watch Thursday Night Football together.
We should ask him that. So, what's your official prediction for Thursday Night Football? Oh.
The Bills are going to win. Okay.
Okay. I mean.
Well, this is going out after. The Bills are going to win at home.
The Bills won if it's going out after. They already won? The Bills won.
Dominated? Without Ed Oliver? I think Ed Oliver's not playing. Okay.
As first reported by Kyle Long. If I'll.
I mean. Yeah, the Bills are going to win.
Okay. Josh can't look.
Josh and those guys can't look the way they've looked for a number of weeks in a row.
Three weeks in a row.
No.
Yeah.
It just can't happen.
All right.
Last question.
Roback question.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
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So, tell me if I'm stupid.
The Dolphins have a game against the Patriots this week. They have a game against the Chiefs next week.
The Dolphins are on fraud watch. We put them on fraud watch.
Is there such a thing as a look-ahead game in the NFL? I know it exists in college. If there ever was one, it's going to be this one for Miami, who's got to travel across an ocean and play against the best team in the world.
Right. So I would say yes.
But the issue is just be patient take what the defense has given you yeah don't try don't try to do too much because you know new england's gonna be laying in wait yeah because i just i love those spots in college it really does work every single time if you're just like oh they got a big game next week okay cool i'm gonna fade them this week yeah but it doesn't it's it's too much buttoned up professional professionalism in the nfl then i'll have look ahead games yeah i mean you're reminded too much of what the task is at hand right right so that college coaches need to do that more i also just love fading a college team after they have a big win because you just know they're gonna party non-stop yeah did you colorado yeah yeah did you ever uh go overseas yeah i did i got fired on my way back from london what do you mean i played like shit and i had to sit across from nags and his wife and they were essentially like is it the raiders game yeah hey i'm gonna pee my pants can i go pee really yeah all right well we're ending the interview i have to be so bad yeah you started moving and i was like yeah the only problem is we don't know where the bathrooms are because this office oh yeah you have to You have to go like around. All right, Shane, get him to a bathroom.
Kyle Long, everyone. Thank you so much, Kyle.
Thanks, Kyle. He started moving.
I was like, I think he's going to pee himself. Today's Fyre Fest segment is sponsored by our friends at Morgan & Morgan.
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This is a paid advertisement. Morgan and morgan check them out they're great people they will protect you okay fire fest of the week henry you've been hung over since monday i've been hung over since monday although i did i went to a blackhawks game i've been kind of weaning myself off and by weaning myself off it's just like having a few beers every night so i'm not just dead that's the right strategy yeah I know we got the we're at the weekend it's friday we're at the weekend so that's why i was giving myself till yeah yeah next week so let's talk about it real quick hank because i feel like this is you've had this before you turn 30 this summer um it's a bitch yeah it's a bitch when you drink for a full weekend and then you don't feel normal until like thursday afternoon yeah i mean these were these were you know two my two best friends getting married so they're late nights with the boys travel mixed in the middle of it and then obviously with the new offices and stuff i've there's been a lot of a lot going on so it's bad i mean it all monday all tuesday like i was just i was just in I still kind of am.
You do have the only cure for it. Max cured me.
I mean, there was a lot, a lot of good stuff happening though. Like Max and the Phillies losing.
Oh, I was disappointed. It kind of like content wise.
It was like, yes, this content. So good.
I'm happy for us. The Max Iwana.
We got so high up the Max Iwana. We hotboxed this room.
This office is amazing. Being here finally is amazing.
Obviously there's a lot to, a lot to come, but that's all exciting stuff. Oh, we got so high up for Maxiwanna.
We hotboxed this room. This office is amazing.
Being here finally is amazing. Obviously, there's a lot to come, but that's all exciting stuff.
We're going to come. We're going to come hard.
It's come already a little bit. We coming.
It's like pre. It is really a dream.
It's unreal. It's just we're so close.
And I'm not going to say we're so so close but so far but it's like once everything
is fully done and finished we're gonna be golf simulator going in on monday buzzing yeah
hank's gonna be working so hard in the golf simulator so hard i'm so excited i'm so excited
going to mass in this weekend super excited about that what else are you doing what are you doing
tomorrow hank uh probably gonna come here for a little bit and then what maybe golf oh yeah wait
but what month are we in it's october it's's September. September was the no golf month.
No, I know, but we were doing once the office opens, we're like working, working, working, working. So that way we can golf on Fridays in the summer, except for the one Friday you owe us for week seven.
Office isn't open. Where are we sitting right now? We can't.
Half of the office isn't open. We can't produce content from the office besides this podcast.
Except for this. If you guys want to come record tomorrow, I'm down.
Okay. Great.
What time? 9 a.m. I was thinking more like 2.
2 o'clock. Hank will be busy at that point.
Good luck at your golf game. Thank you.
Your little golf game. Can't be me.
Are you golfinging with him i did it yeah yeah and you can play a quick 18. exactly we'll get some content out of it and then yeah my next wow the next my next fire fest just the sentence itself is what i realized is the true fire fest as a 30 year old uh i don't have a halloween costume yeah wait where where where are you going to hall i got invited to a Halloween party.
Oh, Donnie's. I got invited to a Halloween party.
Shit. I got invited.
Not really. Like someone else told me about it.
But I kind of want to go. But you also can't go to a Halloween party without a Halloween costume.
But also, like, I don't want. I got an idea for you.
Harry Potterter no oh similar max you still got those overalls i could read it in your fucking face you were like i have an idea i could just see in the side of your eyes a great idea that is a max you're gonna need those overalls buddy. You're crazy if you don't think I threw those out the second I lost it.
Max, we're going to need your fucking big jumbo pants. No, you're not getting shit.
I'm just going to look up. You just showed up.
I look ridiculous. Philly's overalls.
Nothing is working. I can get the wig, throw some pigtails in there.
You should do it, Hank. And just scream and cry and say you're not crying, but cry.
Yeah, that's a great idea. Great idea.
That's Fyre Fest cured. All right.
Great. Great.
Bullshit. I knew.
I knew. Ah.
Okay. PFT or Fyre Fest.
Look at what I do for you yeah nothing is working uh my fire fest well we know one of them which is uh a telephone pole hit my car the other fire fest is similar in that i'm having i'm having a bad week in parking lots in general so there was that incident that happened on tuesday On Monday, there's a McDonald's next to my house. I like to stop in sometimes, get a little McCafe going in the morning, maybe get a McMuffin, get a steak, egg, and cheese biscuit sometimes.
I- McCriddle? Oh, I love the sauce at McCriddle. Yeah, really good.
I'm like Jerry Jones and pour extra salt on it. But I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car in what I thought was a McDonald's parking spot because it's in a McDonald's parking lot.
Turns out the McDonald's parking lot is shared with, I think, another local business. And I was not allowed to park my car there.
I went into the store, got my meal, came out, and there was a giant boot on my car. They booted my car.
And like five minutes I was on the side. Yes.
Shit. So I see- Was this after the accident? No, it was before.
It was before the accident. Oh, my God.
So I see the boot on the car, right? And there's a security guy. He's dressed in a uniform that looks like a police uniform.
And he just hands me a slip of paper. And it says like, do not move your car.
Call this number. And the guy just turns around, gets into his car and drives away.
And I was like, I was like, hey, how do I get this boot off my car? Like I got places to be. I'm a mover and a shaker.
Right. How do I get out of this parking lot right now? And he just looks at me, doesn't respond, chooses to not respond, gets in his car and drives away i get into an uber to go to the office and i call the number and the person on the other end says yeah there's supposed to be a second guy in that parking lot that you can pay to get your boot off right what a scam and i'm like wait what because the first guy just got into his car and either he is unable to speak or he just chose not to speak to me and left.
And they're like, no, you can pay it on site. So I go back and the second person came up and I was like, what's going on here? Why can't I move my car? How'd you boot? He's like, yeah, you're not supposed to park here.
There's a sign over there in the corner that says you're not supposed to park here. In the space or in the corner? The sign is in the corner.
It's not on the space. That's crazy.
It's like the sign says like from that point, you can't park here. And it's like almost an intentionally small sign.
So I asked the guy, I'm like, so how can I get this? And he's like, well, I can take a payment right now. And I thought the whole time that this was like Chicago parking police.
It's not. It's like a private company that does like, instead of doing a tow truck, it's a tow truck business that didn't want to have to pay money for a tow truck.
Right. They just got like one boot that they just put on people's cars.
They're like, Hey, you owe me 150 bucks to take this boot off. So I pay the guy 150 bucks, get the boot off and I'm able to drive away.
I'm still like 50% thinking it's just a scam. And these people weren't even supposed to be there and they just show up to parking lots and do this, but they got my money.
I need to make sure that they don't steal any more of my money. Damn.
I did pay. They also wanted to see my driver's license and I don't know why not the police needed to see my driver's license.
Sounds like a scam. Sounds like I might have gotten hosed on this one.
Sounds like you might have gotten a scam. So you gave me your card information and all of your name and address.
I swiped my card. It's the New York address.
I still haven't changed. It'll be good.
That's good. It'll be good eight years before I change my ID again.
I just got a New York ID. So I probably got scammed.
Either that or it's just a crock of shit and wasted an entire morning trying to do shit. But yeah, I'm having a bad week in parking lots.
I need to stay out of parking lots. Yeah, you do.
For the rest probably of my entire life. That sucks.
Yeah. Quite a fire fest.
Shit. Okay.
How are they allowed to do that? They're just allowed to like- It's a scam. Walk up to your car and be like, sorry, you can't drive anywhere now.
I'm sure if you were like a lawyer and could hit them with some information- Morgan and Morgan. Yeah.
Like you could probably get them to take it off for free, but you'd have to do a lot of a lot of haggling a lot of lawyering yeah am i insane to think that i could pass the bar exam no yes without studying yes that's probably an irrational confidence thing because i'm good at taking tests i'm not what type of questions they yes very hard logic it's not logic yeah it's very hard i did do i did two sample questions and i got them both right is Is it just like multiple choice, like crime or no? Yes. Crime or no? Murder.
Yeah. Is it a crime? Find $1,000 on the ground.
Give it back. Yeah.
Good answer. Yeah.
No, I think if I did a bar exam, I could pass all of it except for the essay part. You're triggering so many lawyers.
I'm pretty sure. What? I'm pretty sure the test is 50-50.
No, it's like four multiple choice answers. No, I'm saying how it's weighted, the scoring.
Half of it is multiple choice and half is essay. So essay is very important.
Yeah, you'd be bad at the essay. Yeah, I don't want to do the essay part because that requires a lot of detailed explanation of my thoughts.
But I'm good at...
Just cite a bunch of cases.
I'm good at reading a test question and figuring out what they're trying to ask me and then answering it.
I'm good at not studying for things in the passing test.
People who study for the bar, they lock themselves in a library for 25 hours.
Yeah, but they might be overthinking it.
I think PFT is right.
Yeah.
People who go to law school don't.
Yeah. Like a lot of people.
Yeah, they waste their money. Yeah.
People who go to law school don't. Yeah.
It's like a lot of people.
Yeah.
They waste their money.
I could pass it right now.
I don't think so.
I don't know.
But I like the confidence.
I mean, there's also no way to prove that you're wrong.
Do you become a lawyer if you pass the bar exam?
People don't go to medical school and they save lives all the time.
Yeah.
That's true.
CPR.
CPR.
You know CPR?
I know of it.
Yep.
Okay.
That's a fact. Okay.
My Fire Fest. my fire fest could you coach an NFL game right now not well yeah I could be a terrible lawyer right now wait no but no but you're saying passing a test like if you if I had to pass a test of coaching an NFL game I would fail I've watched enough SVU I think to pass bar exam.
That's what I'm getting at here. Okay.
What are you guys shaking your heads at?
Max thought he was joking about the bar.
I said, no, PFT's been talking about this for weeks.
He really thinks he can pass it.
He could.
The multiple choice part.
So then take it.
Okay.
If you're talking about it for multiple weeks, then take it.
I'll do it.
I'm going to get signed up.
No, you won't.
It's also like two full days. Yeah.
No, it's going to gonna be morgan and commenter soon no you have to do the whole thing you can't say only the multiple choice part that's what i just said though like i could not pass the written part but that's part of the bar correct but i could pass the i could pass the multiple choice part i could get 200 points on the sats yeah i mean but like that's not take pat like doing well on the SATs. My entire argument is that I think I'm delusional.
I understand that I'm probably wrong, but I do. I have a rational confidence that I could pass the multiple choice part.
You're a good writer. Don't sell yourself short.
I don't, but it's like open-ended questions. I would just turn it back on them.
I'd be like, this question is illegitimate. You have no authority to ask me these questions because I do not recognize you as the bar exam administrator.
Yeah, I don't have the slightest clue what type of questions could be asked on the bar exam. I have no fucking idea.
So I'm looking it up now. I think written is only 30%.
Oh, okay. That's a passing grade passing grade but you'd have to go perfect it's a hundred it's 200 multiple choice questions okay ready a man is sitting on a beach chair peacefully and in a relaxed meditative state when a truck racing on the sand ran down a sunbathing elderly person the man said out loud oh god look what the truck driver did the man driving that truck was racing going about 100 miles per hour someone called 911 a woman who is sitting on the beach nearby but facing the other way heard the man's outcry see when the case comes to a trial will the court allow both the man and the woman to testify about the man's utterances yes both the man and women woman and man can testify because it is an excited utterance exception to the hearsay rule that goes to the material issue of the case yes because this is not hearsay and it is not being entered for the truth of the statement by either witness so they can both testify no neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed for his meditation and the woman cannot repeat the utterance of an impaired witness no neither can testify because the utterance do not fit any of the exceptions to the hearsay rule hmm i think the answer is neither of them can testify uh which one no neither of them can testify because the utterance do not fit any of the exceptions to the hearsay rule or no, neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed.
I want to say that one, but I don't think that's the right answer. Okay, so I'm going to say D.
I'm going to say, yeah, neither of them can testify. Oh, okay.
C? A. Okay.
Do you have to see the last Tuesday and Wednesday? Yeah, but that's one of 70. Yeah, exactly.
I could go 69 for 70 the last Tuesday Wednesday in February and July okay all right Illinois bar exam all right a small town police officer pulled over a driver for speeding he believed that the driver was acting irritable and fidgety but he had no articulable reason to think anything was wrong he searched the car anyway and found two cartons of freshly canned peaches which were owned by the driver's neighbor and reported stolen off reports 24 hours earlier authorities charged him with theft under the state criminal code his motion to suppress the evidence because of an unlawful search was denied on appeal with the appellate court likely reversed the lower court decision denying the motion to suppress yes because the search warrant was unconstitutional due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car yes because when a car is pulled over for speeding the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search no the stop and search were within the normal bounds of proprietary for speeding. Stop.
No, because driver being fidgety is enough for a probable cause full search of the vehicle. How relaxed was this? This one's pretty easy.
This is A or B. It's A or B.
It's no, it's not because the driver did not. Can you read me A and B again? Yes, because the search was unconstitutional due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car.
Yes, because when a car is pulled speeding the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search it's a because if it he can also search the car if the driver gives him consent to search the car so i don't know if the guy gave him consent hey i'm gonna say a but i don't recall any point in that question you're right about consent yeah there we go there we go i'm one for one in my last one you're one for two one for one in my last one. You're one for two.
One for one in my last one. All right, last one.
Okay. A pet breeder is in the business of breeding calves at his cattle ranch where he has a stable of prolific cows who are very fertile.
Oh. The newborn calves need constant attention and care.
One day, one of the employees inadvertently leaves the fence door open and a newly born calf breaks free and goes to his neighbor's land the breeder went to the neighbor's land to retrieve the calf for its safety and to make sure it was unharmed however he was arrested on a trespass charge after entering the land the breeder appealed will the court dismiss this charge yes because he had a limited privilege to enter the land to prevent harm to his cattle yes because the tender pet doctrine allows temporary entry to retrieve baby animals. That's a pretty specific doctrine.
No, because the neighbor had a right to keep any living chattels that crossed onto his, it says chattels. I don't know what that is.
Yeah, it's like, it's a livestock. Okay, that crossed onto his land.
No, because his status as a breeder made him unqualified for a limited license. Okay, so I think this one is also A or B.
I think you're within your rights
to retrieve your wandering livestock.
This might be a hezi hay with the...
It might be B because B was, I think,
a very specific one.
Pet doctrine, yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to go with B.
A.
Okay, well...
That was a hezi hay.
One for three.
One for three.
Well, I narrowed that one down to...
Right. One for three is not passing.
I was technically right on the last one. What do you have to get to pass? Better than one for three.
Listen, I'm not here to be a farm lawyer. I'm here to be a cool lawyer.
I think we should actually, what we should do is you should take it. We can see if we take it and I'll read all'll read all the answers on live stream and let people guess yeah it sounds good let's just do a subathon pft takes the bar you can do it during the 24 hours yeah well let's see the thing is i want to be able to read that's part of yeah no you're right to like deduce the test and what they're right you're right you have to get but we can set it up that people can see the question while you're reading it.
266 out of 400.
I'll take it during the 24-hour stream.
Wait, I only have to get 266 out of 400, right?
That's so many questions.
Oh, I could do this.
Oh, especially if I studied for it?
Yeah, but the written is a big port, like 30%.
If I studied...
I took the SATs, I literally blacked out halfway through and just did CCCs.
I could not sit still for that long.
Your firm declaration is you could pass the bar multiple choice portion only yeah if i studied i could definitely do it okay and then i'd be all your lawyers well no because you would have passed the bar i'd sue everyone the multiple choice you could be a lawyer but you have to every piece of advice you give has to be choice. Yeah.
I'd ask the objection, Your Honor. Why am I objecting? A? Because I didn't pass the full bar? Witness rephrase to A, B, C, D, or E, all of the above? Yeah.
This is the best Morgan & Morgan segment we've ever done. It is.
It is. All right.
My Fire Fest. I haven't been sleeping.
I had. So we've been doing a shit shitload of stuff haven't been sleeping tuesday night we got home after we all smoked that maxiwana and it was fucking good uh and i went to bed and i so every time i get home stella's sleeping in my spot and i put her in her dog bed next to me on the floor and uh all of a sudden three four times the middle night so I went to sleep at one i get up at 6 30 four times in that time frame the tv just turned on and i couldn't figure it out and i have a remote on my phone so i kept on turning it off so i literally like i'd fall asleep get in deep sleep tv would turn on what the fuck you have a ghost well no i woke up the next morning and i was like stella you're ready to go out and she got up and the remote was literally under her ass so every time she moved so i just didn't sleep that night uh not her fault my fault but that sucked that's the worst when you're behind on sleep and then you you're expecting a particular night to be an awesome night of sleep right full eight and then it just doesn't happen oh i have full eight i don't know what a full eight means i haven't gotten full eight a long time you haven't been filleted i've not been filleted in a long time uh the uh my other fire fest is we're going to madison this weekend oh go uh anyone who wants to come to the live show it's going to be an awesome awesome time uh it is 4 30 p.m kickoff is at 6 30 so you got more than enough time 10 north charter Street.
It is a 10 minute p.m. Kickoff is at 6.30, so you've got more than enough time.
10 North Charter Street. It is a 10-minute walk to Camp Randall, so come out.
It's going to be awesome. But, boys, I believe that the Badgers are going to upset and shock the world.
And I know that this is how it happens to me, where there's no reason for me to believe this other than the fact that, ready for thisake 20 years ago this month a freshman big cat stormed the field when wisconsin as i think a double digit underdog beat number three ohio state oh and 20 years later 20 years later and a double digit underdog is playing number three ohio state wow yeah so i'm gonna get crushed and what happened the last time you went to Madison for an athletic event? We want to share the Big Ten championship. And what did you do afterwards? I stormed the field.
One and only your last one storms. Yeah, so this is the problem though because I don't think they're actually going to win, but I'm going to work myself into a frenzy and be like, yeah, it's going to happen.
What if it does? It's going to be incredible. Hank, do you want to get it's Halloween night game? Camp Randall.
Vibes are great. Luke Fickle was on the other sideline that night telling Robert Reynolds to choke Jim Sorge out.
I don't know if Luke Fickle actually did that. It's destiny.
It's destiny. Hank, do you want to get a quick pump in when we get to Madison? Sure.
Strength and conditioning coach asked us. Yeah.
Okay. I mean, I did tell us off till Tuesday, but I'll, I can break it.
Quick pump. Yeah.
Quick pump. Let's get juiced up.
It's squat over. Yeah.
Do some squats. Yeah.
Okay. Jake, your fire fest.
Yeah, this is pretty well documented, but we haven't talked about it on the show yet. When you guys took your shirts off the other day, I was very uncomfortable.
It brought me back to my days of shirts versus skins where I prayed I was on shirts. And it was.
Jake, you had in the corner. You had the best visual out of all of us.
No, it was bad, too. You were.
For people who don't know the picture, it's on our streams. Yeah, on our streams.
I don't know if we could put it in the YouTube, whatever. It's late, so I'm not going to make everyone do more editing.
But Jake, I've never seen a person sitting while also running away. Yeah.
And that's what he was doing. He was running away while sitting.
And the amount of tweets I got like, take your shirt off. You're the reason the Phillies lost.
You are. You are.
I apologize to Max because the last two players to get out were named Jake and Marsh. So.
Oh, yeah, that's right. My God.
So between that and the shirt, it really was my fault. Oh, my.
I said he could blame me. You made the right choice, though, because with those couches, there's no good angle you can possibly have.
Also, like, I didn't get sucked up into the peer pressure. You didn't cave.
Yeah. You're your own man.
Getting sucked up in the peer pressure rules.
Especially when it's tarps off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like whenever it's like,
oh,
if your friend tells you to jump off a bridge,
we do it.
Yeah.
If everyone is.
What football game was that last year
where just a couple guys took their shirts off
and by the end of the game,
the entire section was filled.
It was like in the upper deck.
Yeah.
With dudes with their shirts off.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Indiana.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
peer pressure gets a bad rap.
Like peer pressure kind of rocks
because it means like all your friends
Thank you. Yeah.
Right. Peer pressure is the us thing.
Rules. I just kind of got caught up.
Yeah. It is cool getting caught up in something.
Yeah. Getting peer pressured into something.
No, you won't do it. It's also nice standing your ground.
No. That is a law in Florida.
Yes, it is, Jake. You're back.
Castle Doctor. Okay.
Good show, boys. We'll see everyone Sunday night.
We watching the Bears beat the Chargers. Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, it could happen. Live while we record.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? No, Dan of you. Why do you do that? Just say no.
Just say no and be all mad. Lawyer 101.
Objection. Redirect.
Answer a question with a question. Numbers.
18. 17.
27. Some guy gave it to me outside the Laugh Factory last night.
8. Memes? Just kidding.
3. No.
What was your number? I'll take 20, but I wanted to take memeses. Oh, no..
I'm stuck. Is Shane picking? Shane fucked up.
Yeah, Shane fucked up. Shane and Evan are in the part of my balls category.
Okay. What'd Shane take? 10.
Hmm. Memes? I'm stuck.
69. Okay.
Say your numbers again real quick. 8.
17. 27.
69. Three's going to hit.
18. Max is 20.
Shane is 10. I can see 20.
Just don't know what he needs. Those balls are really flying.
You have to press it. So it's like the tension rises.
Here go 41 let's do one more let's do one more let's just do one more counts okay but we have to stop doing two after tonight okay we'll do three I'm gonna go eight again 27 again counts officially. We're working the new ball machine.
Is anyone changing?
Nah, 69.
Evan.
Oh, yeah.
We didn't have Evan.
Evan.
28.
28.
28.
All right.
10.
8.
27.
17.
18.
20.
28.
And then what was memes?
69. 28 and then what was memes 69 70 Oh one off me
70
So close
Okay we'll see everyone Monday
Love you guys. Thank you.
Come on, you take me out.
I'll be gone.