Kyle Long In Studio, Week 8 Picks And Preview, Bills Are Back (Sort Of) And Fyre Fest Of The Week

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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take,

Speaker 1 we have our good friend Kyle Long in studio, the first ever guest in the new Pardon My Take studio. We have week eight picks and preview.

Speaker 1 Talk Thursday night football, fantasy fuckboys, great show, football Friday, feels good.

Speaker 6 Man, I'll tell you what, when you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 6 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 6 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 6 Snickers satisfies, man.

Speaker 3 That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 4 It's Pardon Mighty,

Speaker 4 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 4 Martin

Speaker 4 Take!

Speaker 4 Yeah!

Speaker 4 Martin My Take!

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Speaker 4 Martin My Take!

Speaker 4 Yeah!

Speaker 4 Martin My Take!

Speaker 4 Yeah!

Speaker 4 More than my Take!

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Friday, October 27th, and the Bills are back, sort of.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the first half Bills were back. Sort of.

Speaker 4 So it's tough to say because the first half Bills were definitely back, and their defense played really well to the point where their offense didn't need to take the top off in the second half.

Speaker 4 They remained targeted. Tarps off.
Tarps on, unlike Fitzy. Triggering.
Unlike Fitzy there.

Speaker 1 Or us. Or us.

Speaker 4 But it seemed like they were back.

Speaker 4 This win felt a lot better than their last couple games.

Speaker 4 You can say that if you're a Bills fan, probably some things that you'd like to do different in the second half on offense, but you didn't need to.

Speaker 4 And the fact is, the Bucs only got close because that last drive, they got extended like three times on fourth down.

Speaker 1 It was, yeah. The Bucks, the Bucs, if you look at that box square, you're like, ooh, the Bucs were in this game.
They were not. They covered the spread, which was a tragedy.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out to Bills Punter. Yeah.
What a night from him. Beast.
I mean, that last one, he almost put on the one-yard line. He should have put it on the one.
Yeah. So,

Speaker 1 not the best game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was football. It was football.
It was football. And it was nice to see Josh running around out there.

Speaker 1 It was good to see him. So he hurt his shoulder?

Speaker 4 Hurt his right shoulder.

Speaker 1 And then they reported that he was giving low fives, not high fives,

Speaker 1 which is a very medical, that's a medical term. It is, yeah.

Speaker 4 It was supinated, not pronated at the end of it, which my medical degree tells me he just fucked up his shoulder a little bit.

Speaker 1 He's got a mini buy now. Yeah, mini buy.
Mini buy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Bills, they look like they maybe fixed a little bit of what was ailing them. It did help that Vitavea was out.
You know what they did?

Speaker 4 They stopped the bleeding.

Speaker 1 They stopped the bleeding. Yeah.
They got a win.

Speaker 1 Maybe this is what the Bills are. Maybe the Bills are just going to end up being like an

Speaker 1 11-win team, and they'll look.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 1 were you making a noise at that? I heard it.

Speaker 1 Maybe the Bills are going to be an 11-win team, and they'll have at least two more times this season where they look like the worst team in football.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think the Bills right now are

Speaker 4 above average. They're an above-average team, but I don't think that they're the world beaters.
How quickly do you recover from a torn ACL if you're Tredavious White?

Speaker 4 He needs to get on that Aaron Rodgers shit.

Speaker 1 Is Matt Milano no chance of coming back?

Speaker 4 I don't think he broke his leg, so maybe I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's better than a sprain. You know what? Better than a sprain.

Speaker 4 A sprained leg is the worst thing.

Speaker 1 It's the worst thing you could get.

Speaker 4 I'm going to say Matt Milano will be back for the playoffs. And I've done zero research into it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And yeah,

Speaker 1 the Bills have the Bengals next, which will be a great game. That's Sunday Night Football next week.
That'll be good. That'll be a great game.
As for the Bucs,

Speaker 1 they stink.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they have no real running game to speak of. Their defense, minus Vita Vea, also bad.

Speaker 4 Just bad. Baker Mayfield looks better than most thought he would this year.
That's the best thing I could. Also, I have no idea what Todd Bowles is doing as a head coach.
Well, zero idea. Todd Bowles.

Speaker 4 He's being taught. He's like more taught.
He's playing a chess match against Todd Bowles as a coach.

Speaker 4 The fake field goal or field goal or just run out the clock play they did at the end of the half was insane.

Speaker 4 You had the holder telling the kicker, like, no, no, we're not going to run this play.

Speaker 4 So that tells me either the kicker went out there and was like, fuck it, I know we're supposed to just run the clock out, but I can make this.

Speaker 4 And the holder was telling him no, or it was a look to see if they were going to fake it. And the kicker really wanted to fake it.
And the holder was like, no, we're not snapping this ball.

Speaker 1 I thought my Amazon stream was glitching because it was like a perfect loop of crowd noise and everyone was standing still. He's like, what's going on here?

Speaker 4 It was a very weird end to the first half. Just Todd Bowles continues to amaze me as a head coach.

Speaker 1 He doesn't amaze me at all. He's just not good.

Speaker 4 No, that's how he amazes me. Todd Bull is a good idea.

Speaker 1 He's boring and not good, which is the worst combination.

Speaker 4 But he does find creative ways to be bad.

Speaker 4 Whatever that was at the end of the half was a very creative way to be bad. And the craziest thing about this game is that the Bucs could have easily won on the last play, which is crazy.

Speaker 4 Credit to Baker Mayfield. He threw a perfect Hail Mary.

Speaker 1 He really did. You know what?

Speaker 4 I think that is the number one incompletion of the season so far.

Speaker 4 That was a great Hail Mary that he threw.

Speaker 1 That was an insane Hail Mary.

Speaker 4 Godwin didn't turn around. Bucs fans are saying Mike Evans had illegal contact at the 10-yard line.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're never going to call that.

Speaker 1 Al Michaels make any mistakes tonight?

Speaker 1 He did have a slight one when he was like, and it looks like the Bucs are going to punt, but he was actually retroactively correct because they came out in the field goal formation and then, like we described, took the delay game and punted.

Speaker 1 But he said, looks like they're going to punt. And Kirk Herfshaw is like, I think that might be a field goal, Al.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, Al probably really enjoys going to Buffalo because there's zero chance that somebody sneaks a vegetable on his plate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Absolutely.
They don't allow those in the city walls.

Speaker 4 Celery. Yes,

Speaker 4 get this off my garnish. Jake, did you hear any Al Michaels mistakes tonight?

Speaker 3 I didn't hear any mistakes, no.

Speaker 4 He does seem bored with bad football, though.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, the energy definitely wasn't

Speaker 3 with the Al Michaels I'm used to growing up.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to look up real quick. I'm going to look up Al Michaels on Twitter and just play the first video.

Speaker 1 Here it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no energy.

Speaker 3 Well, that seems like a very mad play.

Speaker 1 It was Baker Mayfield only almost getting sacked three times and then getting a 12-yard run. Okay, a 12-yard run? You don't have to do that.
In the fourth quarter?

Speaker 1 No, third quarter. But I mean, still.

Speaker 4 I would say we've had this debate on the stream.

Speaker 4 Is that a nice little chunk that he got? I would say that's like... Okay.

Speaker 4 That's

Speaker 4 an exciting play.

Speaker 1 Hail Harry to end the game. All right, let's listen to it.
We're going to give an honest assessment.

Speaker 1 Mayfield, dancing all around.

Speaker 1 Throw it as far as he can throw it. Jump ball telling.
Crazy stuff, not this time.

Speaker 4 Crazy stuff, not this time.

Speaker 1 Crazy stuff. I'm not going to speak this time.
Not this time.

Speaker 4 I don't think you can say crazy stuff in a more boring voice.

Speaker 3 Also, what does not this time mean?

Speaker 1 It didn't happen this time. Right.
Compared to other times it's happened, right? Not this time.

Speaker 1 I love Al Michaels. He is part of many memories.
But if

Speaker 1 I last week, I tried to defend him. This week, I think I'm going to say

Speaker 1 let's just maybe hope we can shoot him up with some testosterone and have one last ride here.

Speaker 4 Some Coke. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? I mean, like,

Speaker 4 Herb Street is a great friend to Lee Corso on game day, right?

Speaker 1 To old people.

Speaker 1 Everywhere.

Speaker 4 He loves Lee Corso. They seem to have a genuinely touching relationship.
Correct. He needs to take that same energy to Al Michaels and bring cocaine into the booth to get Al going during games.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 For America, Kirk.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, so.

Speaker 4 Take that private jet on one of those Thursday flights you take down to Columbia and then come back real quick to see Al drop a bag on his desk and let America have fun.

Speaker 1 It's just, I love Al, and I don't want to see him go out this way.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 3 I mean, he's a legend, and

Speaker 3 I'd be surprised if he got back on the playoff game, the NBC second playoff game.

Speaker 1 Remember, he did the Torico? No.

Speaker 3 NBC had two wild card playoff games, and they put Al Michaels with Tony Dungy for the Chargers Jacks.

Speaker 1 So we can't have the playoff game. It was like the current game.
You got to get Jack Collinsworth out there.

Speaker 4 Or Jason Garrett. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Somebody with some energy.

Speaker 4 It would be bad for this nation if it was Al Michaels and Tony Dungy calling a playoff game.

Speaker 3 Well, it happened last year. Can't he,

Speaker 1 like, Jonathan Henderson just get slapped in the face before the game and just be like, whoa,

Speaker 1 let's go. Old school Al.

Speaker 4 That'd be nice. It'd be an improvement.

Speaker 1 Do you think it's a situation where no one just wants to say hey? Because he is a legend. He's a legend.

Speaker 4 It's that no one wants to be the guy that has that conversation with Al Michael. And honestly, I think that if it's good football, Al Michaels can still get the job done.

Speaker 7 And they paid him so much money.

Speaker 1 Not this time.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 4 I'm actually going to defend Al Michaels. I am too.
As a football fan,

Speaker 4 we owe it to Al to just suck it up and let Al continue. Think of all the joy that he's brought us over these years.

Speaker 4 I'm going to suck it up. I'm going to acknowledge that maybe he doesn't have the right energy, that he turns exciting plays into downers sometimes.

Speaker 4 But as a football fan, this is what I've trained for. I will absorb all of Al Michaels' negative energy, and I will not complain about it.

Speaker 1 Here, I'll one up you PFT.

Speaker 1 Thursday night football, we always get excited for it because it is football. It's Thursday night.
It's kind of the start of the weekend, kickoff the weekend. Hank, don't say anything.

Speaker 1 It usually is a bad game. Maybe Al Michaels is the perfect guy for Thursday night football.
Yeah. Because, like, you don't want to peak too early.
No.

Speaker 1 You want to kind of ease your way into the weekend.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, that's a good spend zone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like that.
It's perfect.

Speaker 4 I think we should just all agree to just take this shit.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take it. Yeah, I'm going to take it.

Speaker 3 NFL fans, they're just turning their backs on him.

Speaker 1 No, they're not turning their back. So many great memories with him.

Speaker 3 Oh, Malcolm Butler interception.

Speaker 1 Now we hate this guy. No, no, no.
They're not turning their backs on.

Speaker 7 Why would you use a Patriots? They're just

Speaker 3 saying because it's one of the more iconic plays and calls by him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. NBC game.
No. That was a compliment.
I don't think anyone's turning their back on him. I think it's just simply they're pointing out the fact that it might be time.

Speaker 4 There are some people that are clowning him.

Speaker 7 What have you done for me lately, Lee?

Speaker 1 That's facts, Hank.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to clown Al. It's like Al Michaels and Bill Belichick kind of at the same stage in their careers right now.

Speaker 7 Well, Bill Belichick signed a three-year deal.

Speaker 3 And Bill Belichick's coming off a win.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, Al Michaels signed a massive contract with Amazon.

Speaker 1 Unrelated to any of this, get excited because Bears play the Panthers in two weeks on Thursday night football.

Speaker 4 Can't wait. Al might just snore.

Speaker 3 I love the TNF on Prime Jingle.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't like how you see TNF. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jake,

Speaker 4 I noticed how you remember that

Speaker 4 Patriots Seahawks game was an NBC game. Yeah.
Do you remember what all Super Bowls, like the Netflix they were making?

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 3 the most

Speaker 3 10 to 12.

Speaker 4 Okay, Rams Patriots.

Speaker 1 CBS.

Speaker 4 Broncos, Panthers.

Speaker 3 Fox.

Speaker 1 Who is on it? Who is on it? Who's on the Cardinals? It's been the same crew. Steelers, Cardinals.

Speaker 3 I think that was NBC.

Speaker 4 This is disgusting. Who was on it?

Speaker 1 Jake has.

Speaker 3 I would guess Alan Chris, but maybe not.

Speaker 1 Wrong. Madden.
Yeah, I think it was Madden's last game. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I know the 28-3 was Fox.

Speaker 4 Seahawks Broncos.

Speaker 3 That was Fox. I think you just said that.

Speaker 4 Did I?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, I said Panthers Broncos.

Speaker 3 Oh, Panthers Broncos is CBS. Super Bowl 50.
That was the year that they had the gold 50 at every 50-yard line.

Speaker 1 Duh.

Speaker 4 You're a bad guy.

Speaker 3 I think the SPN's in the mix in 2027. I think they enter the cycle.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I think I didn't realize I could do that until now.

Speaker 4 Pretty sad. Wait, what was it?

Speaker 1 Seahawks Broncos?

Speaker 3 Seahawks Broncos was Fox.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't know what to do with this information.

Speaker 4 He just knows all of them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do.

Speaker 4 Jake is a massive fan of networks. Huge.

Speaker 4 We had to get you a jacket like the networks. The one with all the NFL logos.

Speaker 1 Jake loves booths. We do.

Speaker 1 Wait, no.

Speaker 4 He loves booths

Speaker 1 and trucks. It's my new office.

Speaker 4 Power rank him, Jake. Booths, trucks.

Speaker 7 How is your booth compared to NBC's booth?

Speaker 1 It's great.

Speaker 3 Don't have a cough button.

Speaker 1 The only thing that I don't have.

Speaker 7 We got improvements.

Speaker 1 We can always get.

Speaker 3 I would say, PFT, nothing in the booth can happen without the truck.

Speaker 1 But the truck comes first.

Speaker 4 But would the truck ever be there without the truck?

Speaker 4 What's that? Would the truck ever show up if there wasn't a booth?

Speaker 3 You could technically broadcast a game with no broadcasters.

Speaker 4 What? Oh, that's true.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure in WWE, didn't Jerry the King Lawler have like a health scare? They just went silent the rest of the broadcast out of respect for it.

Speaker 4 They did that, I think, unintentionally at some NFL game in the last 10 years where there was like a quarter with no announcers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, where like the second difficulties and the announcers got very scared because they realized how much ass football still kicks without their voice. Yeah, we don't need you.

Speaker 1 No, no, we shouldn't go back to that.

Speaker 3 We shouldn't go back to that.

Speaker 1 Just to saddle it, get rid of their jobs. Uh, okay, let's get uh into the week eight picks and preview, and then we have Kyle Long in studio and finish up with Firefest.
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Speaker 1 Hey boys, week eight, no bye weeks, so much football.

Speaker 4 It's very weird that there's no bye week this week, right?

Speaker 1 I kind of like it just because this is almost, it would be impossible for the witching hour not to be electric this week with eight no seven games seven games.

Speaker 4 I just feel like every year that I've played fantasy football, which by the way, I gave up on my fantasy teams in record time this year. It's so liberating.
I think it was week five.

Speaker 4 I looked at all three of my rosters and I was like, no, just not going to do it. Just not going to do it anymore.
I already stink and now I don't care about it. I get the notifications.
I ignore them.

Speaker 4 That might make me the asshole in the fantasy league, but it's so nice to not have to worry about it.

Speaker 1 Can I, can I, I, I agree with you, and I actually had an idea the other day because I have two fantasy leagues with people I've been friends with for a very, very long time.

Speaker 1 There needs to be a service like, you know, like a divorce attorney where I don't have to tell them I'm going to stop playing fantasy, but someone, some third party can intervene intervene and be like, listen, he's dead.

Speaker 1 So he's not playing fantasy anymore. Or like some, some excuse.

Speaker 1 So it's the awkward, like, that's the only thing that's keeping me in there is like, I just, I don't, I, they're, these are my friends and I understand friendship and all that stuff, but I do not care at all about fantasy.

Speaker 1 So much so that one of my friends texted me during week seven. He's like, I'm kicking your ass right now.
I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? And then I looked at my team.

Speaker 1 I had forgotten to start like half the team.

Speaker 4 You know what it was for me? I'm in like a suicide eliminator pool, and I just forgot to do it one week.

Speaker 4 And when I forgot to do that, then I was like, okay, I'm just, I'm not going to open up the Yahoo app anymore. But now that you say it out loud, we can learn from ourselves.
We can admit mistakes.

Speaker 4 We can grow. I think I'm going to have to at least try because

Speaker 4 I do feel like a bad friend right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I exactly.

Speaker 4 I'm not doing it. So I'd like to immediately retract that.
I fucked up. I took, who did I take?

Speaker 1 Karan Butler. They're not bad.
They're not bad.

Speaker 4 They're not bad.

Speaker 1 Brian Golden's 265

Speaker 1 pounds. 265 schools.

Speaker 4 They're not bad. Amek Okofour is not bad.
I can't offer everyone. Admitted my mistake.
I'm going to fix it. I'm going to try to play it.

Speaker 1 But I'm not going to have any fun doing it.

Speaker 7 Who? A mech Okaphor and Koron.

Speaker 1 No, they were very good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not a dime back.

Speaker 7 I'm going to survive a pool. That consumes most of

Speaker 7 my brain.

Speaker 7 We got to get John Calhoun back on the show.

Speaker 1 We should. I mean,

Speaker 1 when the reporter said to him, like, we have a report here that you make know, $2 million and the state is losing this. And he just goes, I make a hell of a lot more than that.
It's so great.

Speaker 1 Not a time back. It's so great, but not a time package.

Speaker 4 To my original point, I feel like every year that I played fantasy football, I would always just ignore the bye weeks and just not think about that. And it was always week eight.

Speaker 4 I always had players that were on bye weeks week eight.

Speaker 1 No, no buys.

Speaker 4 But no buys this week.

Speaker 1 No buys. So let's get into it.
We will be in the new gambling cave

Speaker 1 watching all the games. I think the idea is on Sunday night, because the Bears play Sunday night, we're going to watch that in here while we do the podcast so you get live reactions that way.

Speaker 1 But let's start with the best games. Noon slate, one o'clock slate.
People get mad when I say noon. I think the best game is Jaguar Steelers in the noon slate.
Let's talk about Jaguar Steelers.

Speaker 1 Jaguars about to go on their buy. Steelers off a big win.
Mike Tomlin is a home dog. We keep hammering it.

Speaker 1 18-5 and 3 against the spread. Maybe even an Allen Robinson revenge game.

Speaker 4 I guess so.

Speaker 1 He had a revenge game last week.

Speaker 4 I guess so. All I know is that the Jaguars are going for five straight right now, which is the Jags haven't had a lot of good winning streaks over the course of their franchise.

Speaker 4 This would be nice for them to get. They're spraying down footballs in Jacksonville.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 They're getting ready for the water.

Speaker 4 So they're having a guy with a hose out on the practice field. Irvin Meyer had some hose out there too, but this is different.
They're spraying it down and then they're simulating the rain.

Speaker 4 The Steelers, however, you mentioned Mike Tomlin, easiest coach to bet on. As the other dog.
It feels like a Hammer Mike Tomlin game. Also, this is maybe the biggest thing going to this game.

Speaker 4 It's a Terrible Towel statement game

Speaker 4 because Trevor Lawrence opened his mouth and referred to the Terrible Towel as those little yellow towels.

Speaker 4 Now, he was saying it, he was like giving them respect, and it got quoted. Pittsburgh took it personal.
This is a personal game for the Towel.

Speaker 1 Double Renegade?

Speaker 4 It might be a double renegade game, but he called out the Towels.

Speaker 1 The Jaguars kind of own the Steelers. Well, we remember 2017.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blake. Yeah.
Yeah. Went in there and put up like 44.
It was incredible.

Speaker 1 So I lean Steelers here because of the Tomlin home dog. I also have a stat.
George Pickens, really good receiver, starting to kind of blossom into, he's one of our favorite receivers to watch.

Speaker 1 Deontay Johnson being back is huge for George Pickens. And I actually think maybe Matt Canada's offense won't be as bad when Deontay Johnson's on the field.

Speaker 1 This is a stat that I've, I don't even know really what it means,

Speaker 1 but it sounds really impressive. So they have a stat yards per route run.
So essentially just how many how many routes you're running and how many yards you got. Pretty easy to understand.

Speaker 1 With Deontay Johnson on the field, George Pickens is averaging 4.0 yards per route run, which is actually like it would be the second in the NFL only behind Tyreek Hill. Without, he's averaging 2.7.

Speaker 1 So George Pickens, Deontay Johnson matters for George Pickens, and we saw it in the second half against the Rams.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's interesting. I know that Tyreek Hill had that one stat where, or Kadarius Toney had the craziest one, where every time they threw him the ball, the Chiefs lost a point in week one.

Speaker 1 That was in week one, yeah.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I would like to see those stats for our general lives, just like per step, like per mile walked,

Speaker 4 how many desserts do I have? Yeah. Like, what's the ratio on that?

Speaker 1 Farts per step walked. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Also, 1.2.

Speaker 4 I agree with you. I think that it matters, not just like Deontay.

Speaker 4 Deontay is obviously like a a very good guy to have complimenting George Pickens, but just in general, having two good options to go to helps the other guy.

Speaker 1 And they do complement each other well. And I think the Steelers are finally realizing that Jalen Warren is really fucking good.

Speaker 1 I also was watching some Jalen Warren highlights, and he people are saying he might be one of the best running backs in terms of blitz pickup and blocking.

Speaker 1 So, Jalen Warren, give Jalen Warren the ball more. Maybe make Najee Harris like

Speaker 1 a junior tight end.

Speaker 4 I want to know what his war is, his wins above Najee, his wand. What's his wand? Because

Speaker 4 when he touches the ball, it's hard to believe that he is like NFL running back caliber speed. He just looks like he's running through snow.

Speaker 1 And for the Jaguars, like you said, going for five straight, Trevor Lawrence looks awesome. Their defense looks better than people thought it was going to be this year.

Speaker 1 Calvin Ridley, is he getting iced out? I don't know.

Speaker 4 You think he's getting iced out?

Speaker 1 That was weird that he got no targets on Thursday night football. And

Speaker 1 he was open sometimes, and he just, Trevor Lawrence wasn't even looking at him. Do we have an ice out? Maybe Doghouse Alert.
That's more important. Doghouse, iced out.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Running back is a fumble and then you get into Doghouse Alert.

Speaker 1 But you can get iced out as a wide receiver. You can.

Speaker 4 Also, fun stat, if I were to just ask you off the top of your head, what do you think the Steelers' record is in their last 15 games?

Speaker 1 Pretty good.

Speaker 4 They're

Speaker 4 11 and 4.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they finished the season, like, remember the whole talk at the first part of the season was, is Mike Tommy going to go under 500? Yeah. And then they ended up 9-8?

Speaker 4 Yeah, so the Steelers have been just good. They've been winning weird games.
They've been winning them in strange ways, but they just win. They figure out a way.
Kenny Pickett might be Mr.

Speaker 1 Fourth quarter.

Speaker 8 I like that. He is.

Speaker 1 Jake, you're a nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Good timing we got because Pittsburgh leads the NFL with three wins this season when trailing after the third quarter. The Steelers have also won 14 games since 2020 trailing after the third quarter.

Speaker 3 That's also most in the league.

Speaker 4 Mr. Fourth quarter.
He's Mr.

Speaker 1 Fourth quarter. I like that.
He's Mr. Fourth quarter.

Speaker 4 Also, Mike Tomlin met Glorilla this week. Yeah.
I'm a big fan, huge Glorilla fan. I know, Hank, you're a big fan too, right?

Speaker 1 Huge. Huge.
Huge. Hank, you look very corporate today.
Thank you. Is it the vest?

Speaker 4 No, Hank looks like he got off the golf course today.

Speaker 7 I wish I would go off. I did not.

Speaker 7 This is the perfect vest weather today. It is.

Speaker 1 It is beautiful vest weather.

Speaker 7 There's not a lot of time for vest weather. Like, it's about to be cold.
Vest weather's over.

Speaker 1 No, but you can go vest under the coat. Yeah.
Because then you go coat off, vest in the office.

Speaker 7 I saw my opportunity. I took it.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's it right there.

Speaker 1 You just grabbed it. Vest weather.
Yeah. What is it? Luck is no.

Speaker 4 Luck is what happens when opportunity means preparation.

Speaker 1 Preparation. He was prepared for vest weather.

Speaker 4 I'm woefully underprepared for. I don't think I own a single vest.

Speaker 7 I have two, and I never wear them.

Speaker 1 I'm done.

Speaker 7 I saw my opportunity.

Speaker 1 I had a vest phase, and then when

Speaker 1 the entire Wall Street accounting bros took over vests, I ditched it. But I might get back in a vest.

Speaker 4 I might be a vest guy this winter.

Speaker 1 It's fun, especially puffy vests. I don't really like Hank's look right now.
He looks like trash, but a puffy vest.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry. I forgot you were there.

Speaker 1 A puffy vest looks nice.

Speaker 4 I like the ones that have the like ribs on them. You know what I'm saying? The seams that go down the side hold on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, the puffy vest. Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 4 That's good. They make you look jacked up, too.

Speaker 4 Who looks great in a vest is Vrabel. Vrabel is a big guy.
Vrabel.

Speaker 1 Big time vest guy. Okay, next game up.
Rams at Cowboys. I have a theory that I would like to throw out there.

Speaker 1 The Rams stink.

Speaker 4 I don't know if they stink.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's my theory. And I'll explain my theory.
Were they ever good? I think they're good. Well, no, they were never good, but here's what happened.

Speaker 4 The Rams are mid. They're decidedly mid.

Speaker 1 I think they might stink, and here's what happened.

Speaker 1 Every year, there's like one or two teams that have a great week one, and it sticks in our head for a while, maybe too long. The Rams beat the Seahawks week one.

Speaker 1 They were like maybe six-point underdogs because remember going into the season, the Rams were, I think their over-under for wins was five and a a half or something like that.

Speaker 1 They were not supposed to be good. They beat the Seahawks.
Everyone's like, oh, shit, they might be good. Debuka, look at this.

Speaker 1 They're good.

Speaker 1 Since then, they have their two wins after the Seahawks week one win was against the Colts in overtime. Colts,

Speaker 1 not that good. They're frisky, not that good.
And the Cardinals in week six, Cardinals think.

Speaker 1 Their losses are Niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers. So the question I ask is, are the Cowboys closer to the Niners, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers, or the Colts, Cardinals?

Speaker 1 I think it's the former, not the latter.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm not saying that they stink, though. I'd say that they're probably going to lose this game.
I'm going to bet on them to lose this game, especially.

Speaker 4 McVay's got, he had the baby.

Speaker 4 He can't score a touchdown. A head coach can't score a touchdown.

Speaker 4 Matt Stafford does have a homecoming game, kind of, right?

Speaker 4 In Dallas. People forget him.
How in Park? You went to high school with Clayton Kershaw. So I don't think that the Rams stink, though.
I think that they're perfectly mid-team.

Speaker 4 The Cowboys are capable of playing perfectly mid-teams very well.

Speaker 1 It's just a working theory that they might stink because it is. Keep an eye on them.
You know how we do do that, where it's like week one, bad or good.

Speaker 1 I mean, when the Cardinals killed the Titans week one, whatever it was a few years ago, the Titans, I think, ended up being okay. It's just week one always has one of those weird things.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're like, oh, fuck. That was the Taylor Luan game, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't want to bring that up. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, it's a very important part of NFL history. Yes.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I do think that the Rams are perfectly average. I think the Cowboys are an above-average team.
And I am a believer in the triplets, though.

Speaker 4 That's what we're calling Matt Stafford, Puka, and Koopa. Kupuka.
And Koopa Cup. Cooper Cup.

Speaker 1 Koopa Cup. Koopa Cup.
Koopa Cup would be cool.

Speaker 4 Koopa Cup is a good Puka and Koopa.

Speaker 4 That's an event in Mario Kart.

Speaker 1 Koopa and Puka. I like that.
That sounds like that could also be like a Disney movie with two, you know, a fat animal and a small animal like Pomon and Tumba.

Speaker 1 What is that? Timon and Pipa. Timon and and Pumba.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, you got it.
Thanks, Hank. Is that correct?

Speaker 4 You mentioned it. I'm going to put this in the tickler.
Nakua Matada.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. Yep, that will be on boomers.

Speaker 1 You mentioned that the Cowboys can absolutely beat a mid or bad team.

Speaker 1 Dak versus bad teams, he is 27, 13, and 2 against the spread versus teams under 500.

Speaker 1 And 17 and 26 against the spread versus teams above 500.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I also think that McCarthy looks at an opportunity coach against McVay like, if I beat this guy, I'll finally get that respect. Yeah.
You know, so I do like the Cowboys this week. And the Rams,

Speaker 4 I actually think that having a baby during a week for a coach is probably way more impactful than if a player has a baby during the week and they miss a practice.

Speaker 4 Like I think that he's probably not getting a lot of sleep. He's not spending as much time just grinding film.

Speaker 1 Good point. We'll see.
We'll see. Good points.
Jake, you're nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Cowboys rookie kicker Brandon Aubrey is one of six kickers in NFL history to begin a career with at least 16 straight field goal makes and is closing it on the NFL record.

Speaker 1 And there's the jinx.

Speaker 3 He's 16 of 16 on field goals and 12 of 13 on extra points.

Speaker 1 Can we bet on him to miss a kick? We should be able to because that was the jinxiest jinx of all. Credit to the Cowboys.
Well, you said it out loud. Yeah, but they wrote it down.

Speaker 1 I don't think a written jinx in a media playbook versus a spoken jinx.

Speaker 3 The percentage of announcer jinxes is probably so low because they say it every time time you always remember.

Speaker 1 No, you always remember them.

Speaker 4 Jake, you're bringing stats into an equation that absolutely does not need. We just need to go with our balls on this one.

Speaker 4 Anytime an announcer says that a kicker's good, he's the worst.

Speaker 1 All announcers' lives matter. This is bullshit.

Speaker 4 Didn't the Rams had Marr, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 They had the former kicker of the Cowboys just missed the revenge game. That missed nine field goals or whatever.
Just cut them, and they cut them this week.

Speaker 4 That's tough. I wanted to see a Marr revenge game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up, Vikings at Packers. I only have one stat for this game, and I have a feel.

Speaker 1 The stat is

Speaker 1 how many touchdowns, rushing touchdowns, do the Vikings have this year?

Speaker 4 Zero. Zero is correct.

Speaker 1 That's pretty crazy. It is.
Zero rushing touchdowns. My feel is

Speaker 1 I think the Packers stink. I think Jordan Love's not good, but the Vikings just beat the Niners on Monday night football in front of the world.

Speaker 1 They're going to play at Lambea against a very stinky Packers team. You have to bet the Packers.

Speaker 4 I don't know about that because

Speaker 4 the Vikings seem like they're kind of rolling into form right now.

Speaker 1 Why would you say that? Monday Night Football

Speaker 4 against a really good team that was kind of banged up and injured.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But I'm, big cat, come on.

Speaker 1 I saw Monday Night Football. I did too.
And

Speaker 1 I went nut. I was like, oh my God, the Vikings are, what, a one-point favorite against the Packers in Lambeau? Like, this is a hammer time on the Vikings.

Speaker 1 He's like, nope, Dan, you do this to yourself all the time. You watched one awesome game, and you're like, the Vikings are awesome.

Speaker 1 I had a hot tip. Okay.

Speaker 7 And by hot tip, I mean I was walking around the halls earlier and just heard someone in the room. I don't know who it was, and I didn't listen to the full conversation.

Speaker 7 But as I walked by, I overheard someone saying 78% of the money is on the Vikings. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Don't know if that's true.

Speaker 1 I believe it. But it's a hot tip.

Speaker 4 It does sound like it would be true.

Speaker 1 It's a hold your nose pick. The Packers stink.

Speaker 4 They do stink. And I think I'm going to ride with Creed, though, because before the last game, so we talked about Kirk Cousins, loving Creed, the Texas Rangers, loving Creed.

Speaker 4 I didn't realize this at the time. Kirk Cousins has replaced the team prayer, which means a lot to Kirk Cousins with everybody listening to Creed in the locker room.
That's nice.

Speaker 4 So for the last two games, they've been on their Creed shit.

Speaker 4 I might wait to find out how much Scott Stapp is being played in that locker room before I make my new sources.

Speaker 4 But I am, right now, I'm currently square as fuck, and I'm going to ride with the Vikings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just, it's a total feel because I really do think the Packers are not good, but

Speaker 1 any given Sunday.

Speaker 1 Jake

Speaker 3 Packers quarterback Jordan Love leads the NFL in second half passing yards per game.

Speaker 3 It's tied for number one in the league and second half passing touchdowns per game and number two in the league and second half offensive touchdowns this season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they're behind.

Speaker 4 Second half Jordan Love

Speaker 1 missed their second half. Yeah.
Yeah. When you play from behind.

Speaker 3 Mr. Second Half.
Mr.

Speaker 1 Second Half. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Next up.
Next game up.

Speaker 1 Patriots the Dolphins. All right.

Speaker 1 Patriots, the Dolphins. Tyreek is going to play.
Damn. Yeah.
It was just announced. That was the weirdest thing ever when Tua was like, hope we get Tyreek back soon.

Speaker 4 And everyone's like, huh? What?

Speaker 1 What'd you just say?

Speaker 4 It does feel like a get-right game for Miami, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 Okay, I agree, but

Speaker 1 I feel like, and we talk about this with Kyle Long coming up, great interview with him. I do think the Dolphins, if there is ever a look ahead, it is the Chiefs next week.

Speaker 1 And maybe it's not like look ahead, they come out flat, but maybe look ahead, we pack it in as quickly as we know this game is good and the back door is wide open.

Speaker 7 It's also a super look ahead because like

Speaker 7 that's a lot of travel they have to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a lot of travel.
Yeah, you gotta

Speaker 1 beat game. There's nothing worse than having like a really long trip ahead of you.

Speaker 1 That's a super

Speaker 7 that's hanging over their

Speaker 1 lowest.

Speaker 4 Do you think they packed all their shit?

Speaker 1 Getting ready to go over to Germany? Wait, do we know their plans?

Speaker 4 We don't know yet. We got to find out.

Speaker 1 We're only betting it on that. Because whoever goes later,

Speaker 4 fade them. That's what we've learned.
Germany's a long ways away. But I feel like they probably already have their shit packed going to this game if they're leaving on Monday.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You don't have time to go home. That's a big suitcase you got to bring over there if you're going on Monday.

Speaker 4 But I do like, I like Miami in this game, and maybe it's just me reacting to the Patriots looking decent against the Bills.

Speaker 1 Mac Jones and thinking Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, wait. You hear this one? Congrats to Hank and Mac Jones for winning the week seven Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Congrats.

Speaker 1 I had heard that. It was big.
You guys, you loved doing that to everyone. You needed one.
The last 20 years.

Speaker 4 You needed one big time.

Speaker 1 The Bill. I mean, it's the fucking Bills.

Speaker 7 If we beat the Chiefs, that's the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like it.

Speaker 4 You bet on the Bills last week, hang.

Speaker 1 You did.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I did. I lost.
I'm doing bad in my picks.

Speaker 1 No longer hungover, though.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I'm just a little foggy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we got to have some day beers on Friday.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we got Halloween coming up. We're going to Madison.

Speaker 7 This is a week I'm giving myself till next Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Okay, to the get-right spot? Yeah. That's your get-right spot.
Tuesday.

Speaker 7 Back in the gym Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Everyone tweet Hank next Tuesday. Be like, get right spot.
Welcome back. Let's go.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You feel confident?

Speaker 1 No. Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 What's the weather forecast? Do we know?

Speaker 1 Hot.

Speaker 4 It's going to be hot in Miami? I'm sure. Yeah, two sidelines.

Speaker 1 It's not the the heat it's the humidity that's true yeah they always say that i just right i don't know rain rain oh potential that would maybe probably help the patriots help the pats yeah jump off a little bit mac jones is 0-5 against the spread in his career versus the dolphins yeah never beat tua you've never beaten tua no damn it's surprising that's tough i think that's a good sign though if you know because you know belchuk is like we got to beat to a yeah gotta beat tua so are you gonna bet on money line yes oh wow have to.

Speaker 1 Okay. I like it.
Like, we've talked about it.

Speaker 7 I don't feel good going into the game, but then before the game, I'm like, why won't we just win this game?

Speaker 1 Oh, you really are. You really are a tanking team.
Welcome to the. Welcome.
That's exactly. That's every single Bears game.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. This is a great opportunity to play spoiler.

Speaker 1 It really is. Yeah.

Speaker 7 If we beat the Bills and Dolphins, I will have been

Speaker 7 bad accurate about that.

Speaker 4 And guess who's next? And the Jets, too.

Speaker 1 And guess who's next? Jets? No.

Speaker 1 Commies. Oh, nice.
That'll be good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, good luck spoiling that one.

Speaker 1 Jake, you're nerd-nugget.

Speaker 3 Well, first off, Tyree Kill, when he faced the media today regarding his hip, he said, I just wanted some attention, man, because my mom wouldn't talk to me, so I needed some attention from somebody.

Speaker 1 Okay, I respect that. Yeah, I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 3 Miami has had a player record multiple sacked in four straight games by four different players.

Speaker 3 Week four at Buffalo, Andrew Van Ginkle, week five against the Giants, Zach Seeler, week six against the Panthers, Christian Wilkins, week seven at Philadelphia, Bradley Chubb. So they're all eating.

Speaker 1 You remember Bradley Chubb? Yeah. I feel like last week.

Speaker 4 We stopped talking about old Chubb for a while, didn't we?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's good.

Speaker 4 He is good. He's good.

Speaker 4 So with Tyreek Hill, it's funny. That's like a dog that pretends to have an injury.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I had a dog that for about two years would only have. a hip injury when it was at home with my parents.
And then I took it to college a couple of times.

Speaker 4 It was able to walk everywhere, go up and down steps. And then go back home where there was another dog.
Be like, oh, no, my hip hurts. Come scratch me.
Yeah, yeah. That's what Tyreek Hill is doing.

Speaker 4 Needs some attention.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Tyreek Hill's playing. Next up, Eagles at Commanders.

Speaker 1 The Little Boy off.

Speaker 4 Little Boy was never

Speaker 4 anything said by anybody that game.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was Little U Small.

Speaker 4 You, Little Small, is what was said.

Speaker 1 Little you small. Small.
Little, you, small. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I think Little Boy was set off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you were saying big boy, little boy. I was saying,

Speaker 4 I was saying we were doing big boy plays on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They'd be like, that was a little boy play.

Speaker 1 Correct. There was definitely that thrown around.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of boys.

Speaker 4 This is bigger than a little boy game. This is a perm game.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Max and I agreed to bet a perm

Speaker 1 on this game. I forgot about that.

Speaker 4 So one of us is going to have to go to sport clips and

Speaker 4 get our hair permed up. I love it.
So, Max, what are we going to do? Because you can't do it straight up, right? Because the Eagles are, what, six and a half point favorites?

Speaker 8 Should we just do the spread?

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, Max, that would suck for you.

Speaker 1 Like, if you win by three, you won the game and you got to get a perm. Yeah, no, that's true.
I think you almost got him. What about

Speaker 1 what about three?

Speaker 4 What about three even?

Speaker 1 Deal, fine.

Speaker 4 Okay, that was a great negotiation because he just two seconds later said no to me.

Speaker 1 You should have just said straight up.

Speaker 4 You should have just said straight up. So, Max is going to buy a car soon, and he's like, I suck at negotiating.
Can somebody help me out? I told him I'd negotiate for him because I love doing that.

Speaker 4 Max, I just ran circles around you. That was so bad.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm not a good negotiator.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. How are you doing, Max?

Speaker 8 Good. This game's must-win for the Eagles.

Speaker 1 No, I meant in general.

Speaker 1 How are you doing?

Speaker 8 It's fine.

Speaker 8 It's fine.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 The episode popped off.

Speaker 1 Popped off. I told Max, too, Max, I think with this last recent tragic loss and clips and everything.
Collapse.

Speaker 1 I think Max has actually crossed the threshold and that if the Eagles win the Super Bowl, people would be legitimately happy for him. I don't think so.
I do. Well, some.
No, some.

Speaker 1 Not you, Hank.

Speaker 4 You fucking hate him. Right now, you're right.
If the Eagles won the Super Bowl tomorrow, people would be like, okay, good for Max. He deserves one.

Speaker 4 But you're forgetting that to get to a Super Bowl, they'll have to endure like three months of Max being a best friend.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 4 And then they'll won't be able to do it. So you need a team.

Speaker 1 You need a team to just start the first game being... Yeah, that's a lie.

Speaker 1 You need a team to start their first game in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 8 I guess. I don't know.

Speaker 8 I'm a different man.

Speaker 8 I'm a different man right now.

Speaker 7 I think you've developed a big fan base of people that really enjoy seeing this content. So it's like that, that market now exists.
Yeah. You created the market.

Speaker 1 No, the sadness market is booming.

Speaker 8 There's also a market that really dislikes it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you know what? Those guys. That's jealousy.
And they also just completely overexaggerate everything. It's the guys who are like, Max is on the show for two hours.

Speaker 1 This is, it's crazy.

Speaker 7 That's just anyone that's on the show that's not named Big Head or PFT market.

Speaker 1 Correct. And we've all been doing it.

Speaker 4 Man, everyone's had their fair share of the ire there. And Max also, the fact that Philly keeps losing in these big moments is the reason why you're in these prominent positions on the show.

Speaker 4 So it's not like the entire show is just Max all the time. He can't help it, but his teams are losers, so we have to feature.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You've been in big moments.

Speaker 1 And Max, I had my brain kind of switched a couple years ago when I realized like people are going to complain about everything, and it's actually a compliment because it's what we do with our sports teams, where it's like you root for your sports team and you're like, fire that guy.

Speaker 1 That guy sucks. That's no different than people who are like, I listen to every PMT.
I fucking hate Max. Like, well, yeah, you're going to find something to complain about.
And, like, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Like, you can complain about everything. You can complain about anything.
Like, go, go, go do it. It means you care.

Speaker 1 We want people to care. Yeah.
Yeah. Fuck it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How's your, has your mom said anything to you?

Speaker 8 My mom was good.

Speaker 8 My dad thought it was really funny. My mom was also, my mom's also a huge Phillies fan.
Like, that's her number one team.

Speaker 8 She said that it was nice to hear how sad I was after the game because it made her feel better about me.

Speaker 4 So, you're providing useful service to dejected Phillies fans.

Speaker 7 I feel like your parents had to have loved the

Speaker 7 movie clips.

Speaker 1 I look ridiculous right now.

Speaker 7 I don't know if that was just those, anyone can watch that and find humor in them.

Speaker 1 I haven't watched that anymore. Any last thing, Max, any word on people throwing out the idea that you might have early onset Fleming?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So people were saying this online that Max's hand motions, the fist, the screaming. When he was tinting his fingers, tinting his fingers.

Speaker 1 Just like people are saying, Max, like, hey, Max, are you looking in your closet and being like, ooh, that's a good shirt? I want you on that.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's really the biggest worry for me is.

Speaker 1 Do you have early onset Fleming?

Speaker 1 The biggest worry for me with early onset fleming is i do like to like chew on water bottles which is the biggest red flag of anything well frank is we love frank frank is the absolute best so it wouldn't be the worst if you got full-bled

Speaker 4 fledged fleming yeah yeah you know full-blown fleming maybe someday maybe okay someday okay yeah uh i got i got a question for you big cat yeah do you think that the eagles commanders series do is that becoming a throwout the record books series it might be serious because they do the commanders are always way worse than the Eagles, except going back to what was it, 2020?

Speaker 4 Yes. When Doug Peterson pulled all the starters in week 17,

Speaker 4 they are always worse, but they always play them very, very tough. I feel like this is a throwout the record book.

Speaker 1 I agree with you. I agree with you.
I also think, oh, by the way, sack watch Sam Howell, 40 sacks on pace for 97. He went the other direction.

Speaker 4 It's insane how many sacks he's taking.

Speaker 3 Like David Carr.

Speaker 4 When he was in the league, it was nuts as first.

Speaker 1 76.

Speaker 4 People were like, will somebody please step in and help him? Sam Howell is on pace to just dust Dale.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dust him. And it's not even the 17-game schedule because he's on pace for 21 more sacks.

Speaker 1 Max, last question for you. Are you worried about Jalen Hurts' knee?

Speaker 8 No, they said it's like a pain thing. He's just going to play through it.
He's a warrior. It's a pain thing.

Speaker 1 He's an absolute dog. I dust my guy.
I think he should be.

Speaker 4 Why does the human body experience pain, Max? Is it because everything's fine?

Speaker 8 Yeah, he's fine.

Speaker 8 He's fine.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, he's fine.

Speaker 8 But I will say, Kevin Byrd game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dream team. Yeah.
Dream team. Not dream team, but

Speaker 8 you love having guys. Yeah.
Talking about guys.

Speaker 1 Kevin Byrd's a guy. He's their guy.

Speaker 1 I think that Jalen Hurts' knee is a problem.

Speaker 4 He's wearing a brace on it.

Speaker 1 And he also was asked about it, and they were like, is it a concern? Would it affect you going forward? He said, I hope not. Yeah, it's going to affect you.

Speaker 8 That was on Sunday.

Speaker 1 No, that was his press conference. He said, I hope not.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was after the game on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Oh. Okay.

Speaker 8 And then going forward, they were like, yes,

Speaker 8 it won't be an issue.

Speaker 1 But the fact that we're even talking about it is kind of an issue.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but some guys are built different. He's a dog.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 He might be wearing it just in case the stadium collapses on him again.

Speaker 4 Just to be sure.

Speaker 1 I just throwing a lot of picks, fumbles,

Speaker 1 the knee.

Speaker 4 He doesn't look like himself. Can we admit that, Max?

Speaker 1 Factor fiction. The pick in the last one.
Answer the question at the end of the day. The factor fiction was a tip.

Speaker 4 Answer the question.

Speaker 1 Does Jalen Hurts look like himself?

Speaker 1 I didn't like how in unison you guys looked at him. That was beautiful.

Speaker 4 It was great.

Speaker 8 The last game, yes. I will say

Speaker 8 in the Dolphins game, yes. He looked like himself.

Speaker 1 I don't care what you say. Yes.

Speaker 4 I don't think he looks like himself.

Speaker 8 He threw one pick that got tipped, and he played a flawless football game after that.

Speaker 1 Who would you rather have?

Speaker 4 Who would you rather have? Jalen Hurts this season or Jalen Hurts from last season?

Speaker 8 Who was better? In totality, last season.

Speaker 4 Okay, so he doesn't look like himself.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 8 it's a week-by-week league.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 On Sunday night, he looked really good.

Speaker 4 All right. I'm just, listen, I'm grasping at straws here.
I'm trying to find reasons to think that the commanders can win this game. So I'll take whatever I can.

Speaker 4 Also, the commanders have hired a nerd this week. We got a nerd.
So it's Eugene Shen. He is now like the senior vice president of analytics.
We didn't have a guy like that before. So we got him.

Speaker 4 He was on the Jaguars for a while. He was on the Ravens.
Then he went off to manage a trust fund or a hedge fund. Now he's back.
And I just, it's a good hire. I think Josh Harris made a good hire.

Speaker 4 We needed a guy like that. But also I'm putting myself in Ron Rivera's shoes, who is not a heavy analytics guy, shall we say? He's not really a big anything guy.
But now we hired a nerd.

Speaker 4 Rivera is probably not going to coach after the season's over. I don't know if he's going to be fired midseason, but he's definitely not coming back this year.

Speaker 4 So if you have a nerd in place right now telling Ron Rivera what to do with his team, how is Rivera going to react to that?

Speaker 4 Is he going to be like, yeah, do whatever you you want with his team, or is he going to actually take this guy's advice, put it into practice?

Speaker 4 I just, I feel like giving a guy who's on his deathbed a nerd to tell him how to fix things is just going to kill him faster. Yes.

Speaker 4 It's like if you gave Jimmy Carter a social media manager right now, like, okay, this guy's going to run your Instagram account. It's over.

Speaker 1 He's like, okay, just pull the pull. It's over.
Yeah, it's over. All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Eagles wide receiver A.J. Browns had an NFL record last week when he posted his fifth straight game with 125 plus receiving yards, joining Calvin Johnson in 2012 and Pat Studsill in 1966.

Speaker 3 He's also the third player in Eagles history to register five straight 100 plus yard receiving performances, joining T.O. and Harold Jackson.

Speaker 4 He's very good. He's awesome.
He's very good. Terry McLaurin's NFC East lead might be 200.

Speaker 1 He's in trouble. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, next game. Jets, Giants.

Speaker 1 MetLife, the MetLife Bowl.

Speaker 1 Jets going on the road. Jets going on the road.
Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones. I think so.
I think he is. It's so crazy how much the Giants fuck that up.

Speaker 1 Like, you had Daniel Jones for four years, and he was, what,

Speaker 1 somewhere between, like, the 15th and 20th best quarterback.

Speaker 1 He okay.

Speaker 4 He played pretty good in Spurts last year.

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, no. So, so I'm saying the first, the previous four years.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Last year he played good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why didn't the Giants say, hey, is this the outlier? Maybe we should franchise tag him.

Speaker 4 They were just hoping that this is who he is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, hey, let's franchise tag him, see if he's that guy again instead of being like, no,

Speaker 4 that's him. We only use the does he look at himself if a player is playing worse than they did the year before.

Speaker 4 With Daniel Jones last year, they should have been like, Does Daniel Jones, is he really playing like himself right now?

Speaker 1 And the answer would be no.

Speaker 4 No, right. But still, like, if you're in that position as a team, you think that this is just the brand new Daniel Jones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like if I see myself, I see a good picture of myself and I look skinny. I'm like, am I skinny now? Yeah.
No.

Speaker 4 Fun stat. The Giants winning last week against the Commanders, that was their first home win since the boat picture.
Really? No, I just made that off.

Speaker 1 I mean, I could believe anything.

Speaker 4 That sounds like it would be. My favorite thing in terms of storylines going into this week is on WFAN.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see Don Lagreca?

Speaker 4 Did you see, was it Don Legreca that was talking about Zach Wilson?

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I was thinking of Don Legreca talking about Chris Russo, which was great.
No, this is. He called him a weakling, which is an all-time insult.

Speaker 4 Because Russo needs to retire, right? Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 He's a you're a weakling.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a great insult.

Speaker 1 It really is.

Speaker 4 It's an insult that you only get on sports talk radio. Yeah.
You get bum and you get fraud and weakly.

Speaker 4 Those are the big three. But there was another guy, I don't have his name in front of me, but he went in on Zach Wilson because Zach Wilson during the bye week went to Utah with his girlfriend.

Speaker 4 He went apple picking. He went, well, this guy was like, this guy's going apple picking.
You're supposed to be the quarterback. You should be in the film room the entire week.
What the fuck?

Speaker 4 You should be at the facility the entire week studying in the meeting room by yourself. He's like, any other position you can leave, but the quarterback,

Speaker 4 I don't want my quarterback traveling with his family during the bye week. I want my quarterback to be an incel.
That's what I want.

Speaker 1 Also, Zach Wilson is definitely in the category of too much information can be dangerous for him. Yeah.
Like you don't want to just have him overloaded with ideas.

Speaker 4 Well, the entire premise of the Jets offense being good is just minimize the amount of time that Zach Wilson has with the ball in his hands. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Figure out a way to get Garrett Wilson on slants that Zach Wilson can hit. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just play on defense more. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Punt the ball on first.
All right, nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 The Jets' defense has an active streak of 24 straight games without allowing a 300-yard passer, the second longest in the NFL behind New Orleans.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Okay, good segue.
Saints and Colts next.

Speaker 1 Here's a fun fact. Do you know that we're in week eight? The Colts are the only team to score 20 points in every game this season.
I did not know. 20 points or more.
That is a very fun thing.

Speaker 1 It's pretty fun.

Speaker 4 Also, the NFL apologized to Jim Ursa personally.

Speaker 1 Yes, I saw that.

Speaker 4 And so Jim Ursai put out a tweet saying, like, just a heads up, the NFL has admitted to us that they screwed up the calls at the end of the game. So hang the banner, Colts fans.

Speaker 4 You guys should have won that game. We actually do think that you should have won that game.

Speaker 1 Yes, you should have.

Speaker 4 That was bullshit the way that it came down. So maybe Jim Ursai just hallucinated Roger Goodell coming in and apologizing to him.
Yes. That's probably just as likely.
But yeah, the Colts.

Speaker 4 I mean, their offense is fun. They are fun.

Speaker 4 With Gardner Midshu, you're either going to get a crappy, weird, awful performance where he takes some shots and they don't pan out, or he could actually step in and win you a game.

Speaker 1 I think Gardner Minshew, I'm going to bet some Gardner Minshew props this week because the Saints do play a lot of man coverage, and that's usually what he does well.

Speaker 1 So I don't know if they can win this game, but I am... Gonna bet some Gardner Minshew props and have some fun.

Speaker 4 He does stink against the zone. Yeah, he does.

Speaker 4 He doesn't understand the coverage.

Speaker 1 He's just like, wait, I want to throw it there. What the fuck?

Speaker 1 There's two guys there.

Speaker 4 I think he sees his own defense. And like, if you're playing basketball against the zone and pick up, you're like, these pussies.
He probably sees his own defense.

Speaker 4 He's like, these guys are a bunch of pussies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they won't probably man, I'm man.

Speaker 4 And tries to make crazy throws because he's like, I'm a man. These guys are bitches.

Speaker 1 And he's perfect for man coverage because he's like, fuck it. I'm going to throw it there.
Give my guy a chance.

Speaker 1 I like that Dennis Allen is so bad and so dumb. He's now into his coach speak where he's like, fuck everyone.
You guys don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 He said this week, you get in the middle of the season and there's generally not a lot of people from outside your building that are coming in that are going to make significant changes.

Speaker 1 We've got our guys, and we're going to be hard at work trying to fix some issues.

Speaker 1 You, you got this, Dennis.

Speaker 4 You actually have Sean Payton's guys. Yeah, you got this.

Speaker 1 But I just like that being like, no, no, no, you guys don't know this building.

Speaker 4 I also like the fact that by saying that he's justifying his entire employment, he's like, that's why I'm here is because I'm a guy that's been in the building for a while.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to fix this.

Speaker 4 And I'm going to fix everything. Yeah.
We are on Coin Alert with the Saints. Remember the Jets coin? Yeah.
There's a Saints coin. Oh, hell yes.
And it's undefeated right now.

Speaker 4 So this week, they are predicting a win against the Colts. The coin is.

Speaker 4 They're predicting the Saints to go 11-6 on the season.

Speaker 4 So they're predicting a win against the Colts, then a win against the Bears, win against the Vikings, win against the Falcons, and then they're going to beat the Lions.

Speaker 4 So we're going to find out in short order whether or not this coin is legit or if it's a fraud.

Speaker 1 So they have a win this week?

Speaker 4 They have a win this week.

Speaker 1 But we don't, it's early.

Speaker 4 It's early in the coin's history.

Speaker 4 Week eight is when you start you know separating you start paying attention like is this counterfeit or is it legit yes uh okay uh nerd nugget you got it 20 points colts only teams

Speaker 1 however indianapolis don't however me picat do you feel good about the fact that oh i love it you get me like once a week you like stealing the nerd nuggets but then you also have to look at yourself in the mirror and being like i'm i'm a nerd i'm casually well he just dropped he dropped however i have a little context go ahead however and it'll be tougher this week because the saints only allow 18 points per game.

Speaker 1 However. However.
Also, however,

Speaker 3 shout out to Blake, who won the Colts tickets.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 3 He says he will be dressing up as Gardner Minshew going to the game. Oh, love it.

Speaker 1 Looking forward to seeing that

Speaker 1 Halloween.

Speaker 4 I hope to see some people dressing up as Mr. Ursay for Halloween in the Sands, too.

Speaker 1 It would be nice. It would be nice.
Okay, next up, Falcons, Titans, Titans, throwback jersey, Will Levis.

Speaker 1 Maybe Malik Willis. I hope it's Will.
I don't.

Speaker 1 Brabel hinted at a two-quarterback thing. I don't, don't do that.
Don't do that, Braves.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so it's going to be tough to erase the stink, much like how we were talking about with the Steelers week one when they got dominated by the Niners. It's hard to move on past that.

Speaker 4 Malik Willis' first game was an all-time bad performance. Yes.
Really, really bad.

Speaker 1 And I think he got better. I hope he got better.
No.

Speaker 1 Wait, you're saying his week one, his first game last year?

Speaker 4 No, his first game ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Because he came in, remember, in the London game, and that was very bad.

Speaker 4 But somehow I don't think it was as bad. Oh, that running.

Speaker 1 Remember the staying in the game?

Speaker 4 I do remember that.

Speaker 4 That was a brain fart.

Speaker 1 That was very bad. That was a brain fart.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm hoping for Will Evis just because I'd like to see him play.

Speaker 4 I do think that the Titans have a leg up because

Speaker 4 they spent more time preparing for the throwback helmets than they did for travel plans to London. Yes.
They've been practicing with the throwback helmets for like two weeks now. They're ready to go.

Speaker 4 They're ready to roll. And who knows more? Who has the advantage? Does Arthur Smith have more of an advantage having coached with Vrabel?

Speaker 4 Or does Vrabel have more of an advantage working with Arthur Smith for all those years?

Speaker 1 I think Arthur Smith.

Speaker 1 I think the person who's learning from someone learns, it's like the student and the

Speaker 1 pupil and the master and the pupil.

Speaker 1 Was that right? Is it pupil, student?

Speaker 4 Pupil, student, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got it. Whatever.

Speaker 1 I haven't slept all week. I think that the person learning from someone learns all their tricks and then adds new tricks that Vrabel doesn't know.

Speaker 4 Unless you're Belichick, in which case you just don't teach them certain things. So then you have to beat them as a head coach later.
Correct.

Speaker 1 You've got that. Correct.
And Arthur Smith, maybe my favorite battle going on right now in football is Arthur Smith versus fantasy football

Speaker 1 players and prop betters. Yeah.
Because they are pissed.

Speaker 4 I think he intentionally does.

Speaker 1 I love it. I'm pretty sure.
I want him to just, I want him to just, I want to see Tyler Algier running 40 times and Corder L. Patterson being the only one who who catches the ball.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's being openly antagonistic to fans.

Speaker 4 It's correct. I do like that a lot.

Speaker 1 But actually,

Speaker 4 we haven't had this conversation about Bijan because Bijan has looked really, really good when he's played. And then last week, he only got one carry, right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 And that one carry seemed like a fuck you to people because if he was actually, if he had an illness, if he had a migraine or whatever, you'd think that he would have just not given him the ball at all, right?

Speaker 4 But giving him the ball one time seems like a fuck you. Is Bijan Robinson somehow in Arthur Smith's doghouse?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 We might be on doghouse watch with him.

Speaker 1 I thought about this, and then another thing I thought about with this situation is

Speaker 1 could Arthur Smith be a sneaky genius? Could he be saying, we just spent a lot of money on this first-round pick, running back, don't put too many miles on him early in the season.

Speaker 1 Bijan is going to look that much faster late in the year.

Speaker 4 He might be doing like a Derrick Henry tracker Cito type. Yeah.
Like let him get cookie later.

Speaker 1 Like they won the game without Bijan. Guess what? That's you know, 15 carries.
He doesn't have it on his legs when you get to December.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you'd also, you would have liked to win some of those close games you were in earlier season. True.

Speaker 4 But I actually don't think he's in the doghouse, but it is something that we should pay attention to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I heard there was a report that he vaped in his face.

Speaker 4 There was a report that he is in the doghouse, in fact. And in terms of doghouses,

Speaker 4 Belichick's doghouse is the worst, right?

Speaker 1 Save Fumbles. It's going to suck really bad.

Speaker 4 Mike Vicks.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 4 I bet Sean Payton's probably pretty bad, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sean Payton's doghouse.
Yeah, for sure. Nerd.
Dan Campbell. Dan Campbell's doghouse.
Dan Campbell, I feel like he would put you in the doghouse. He'd still come give you a pet.

Speaker 4 Yeah, come in and like get sneaky some food.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, you know, I love you. I don't want to put you in this doghouse.
Look what you made me do, babe.

Speaker 4 His wife's asleep.

Speaker 4 That kind of guy. He sneaks back.
He's like, hey, shh, this is going to be our little secret. Yeah.
I'm supposed to feed you, but you know you're a good boy.

Speaker 1 The only reason you're in the doghouse is I love you so much.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basically a pimp. Dan Campbell's a pimp.

Speaker 3 Titans running back Derrick Henry can record his 39th total 100-yard rushing game this this week, including regular season and playoffs.

Speaker 3 He would surpass Eddie George, who has 38 for second most, and Earl Campbell has 40.

Speaker 1 So, Derrick Henry. Wow, Titans have a really good history of running backs.
Yeah, yeah, Chris Johnson, the Oilers do, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Chris Johnson, Eddie George, Derrick Henry, like, yeah, and you want to go Earl Campbell? It's pretty crazy. Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 We should

Speaker 1 put this in for July

Speaker 1 27th.

Speaker 3 July 27th is a Saturday.

Speaker 1 Okay, so July 25th?

Speaker 3 Thursday.

Speaker 1 Let's do all-time rankings of position groups.

Speaker 3 I also have Hank teaches us an e-cons like that.

Speaker 1 I do like that. I like that.

Speaker 4 That's a big day for the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's huge. Okay, great.
We'll double up. But yeah, all-time rankings for position groups franchise-wise.

Speaker 4 Niners quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Would you go Niners quarterbacks? You could go Packers quarterbacks, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'll be good. It'll be good.
That's going to be a lot of fun. That's going to be a lot of fun because I do think running backs for Titans might be, they might be number one.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go to the next game. Texans, Panthers.

Speaker 1 Frank Wright giving up play Call of Duty.

Speaker 4 Major cuck behavior.

Speaker 1 I have.

Speaker 1 This is probably going to sound stupid when we play the game and the Texans beat the Panthers because the Panthers think. I think Bryce Young is going to look good today.

Speaker 1 I think the Panthers might win their first game of the season.

Speaker 4 So the Panthers off a bye.

Speaker 4 They are desperate for a win right now. They're trying something new on the offensive play calling side.

Speaker 4 And it does seem like this is a big, big week if you're a Panthers fan to just have Bryce go out there and not get blown off the field by C.J. Stroud.

Speaker 4 For your own mental future, for your own well-being, you want to see Bryce Young look like he belongs on the same field as C.J. Stroud.

Speaker 1 Yes. And Thomas Brown, the new offensive coordinator, I think, like, so he's McVay Tree.
He was with the Rams. He also is with Georgia with Nick Chubb, running backs coach.

Speaker 1 He was with Wisconsin when Melvin Gordon had 2,500 yards, running backs coach. I feel like he's going to run the ball and get wide receivers open.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and who's the running back? Is it Miles Sanders?

Speaker 1 Sure. Is it? Chubba.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Miles Sanders.

Speaker 1 Yeah, remember Miles Sanders? Yeah. He was pretty good.

Speaker 1 Maybe give him the ball. I think this might be the first time.

Speaker 1 It's also the fourth time. This might be a nerd nugget I'm stealing.
The fourth time the number one and number two pick in the draft played in that same season. Oh, I'm not stealing it.

Speaker 1 Some of the stats are very funny.

Speaker 1 The Jets and Jaguars played. Actually, the Jets won, even though Zach Wilson had a 91-yards rushing.
Memes probably remembers that. Titans beat the Bucs with Mariota and Winston.

Speaker 1 Titans beat him 42-14.

Speaker 1 And then one of the funniest stat lines, the Colts beat the Chargers in 98, 17-12.

Speaker 1 Both quarterbacks were exactly 12 for 23 in that game, Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so I don't know. That doesn't mean anything for here.
It's just kind of cool. Number one, number two.

Speaker 4 We're going to watch this game, though, and then immediately we're going to be like, one guy's a bust.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so according to this, Trevor Lawrence was a bust.

Speaker 1 Jameis Winston was a bust, and Ryan Leaf was a bust. And

Speaker 1 the right pick was Zach Wilson, Marcus Mariota, and Peyton Manning.

Speaker 4 Great players. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Panthers wide receiver Adam Thielen has 49 receptions this season, which is 33 more than any other of his teammates. He also has 59 targets, 30 more than any other teammate.

Speaker 1 So he's just getting every catch on that team.

Speaker 3 He's still good.

Speaker 4 Like the Panthers are talking about going out there and getting another wide receiver. He's one of the best.

Speaker 1 Wide receiver at home. Yeah.
You got one at home. Okay, before we get to the late slate, we're going to take a quick break for a very special ad.

Speaker 1 Make sure you're watching the YouTube because this is Pepperoni brought to you by PFT and Blake.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 1 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, we are back. That ad was brought to you by Blake and PFT.
Blake is here, and Hank went to check on Blake, and Memes said, what's Hank going to do? Give him a bad attitude?

Speaker 7 Takes one to know one.

Speaker 4 Did you give my dog a bad attitude? It was a good line.

Speaker 1 It was a really good line.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't understand memes' beef with me. I like it, though.
I like the beef.

Speaker 4 For the record, when I brought Blake into the studio, Max was on the floor. Blake went right up to Max's cheek, started sniffing him.

Speaker 4 Max ignored him for about 10 seconds until I was like, Max, are you going to shy to my dog? And then finally, you turn around. You're like, oh, hey, oh, it's a dog.
Good.

Speaker 1 Oh, that because he walked out of the studio and he goes, if I see that dog again, I'm going to open hand, slap that fucking dog. It's a lie.

Speaker 1 I said, Max, that's not, it's not a girl dog.

Speaker 4 This is a lie. Okay.
You did ignore. Did you factor fiction? You ignored the dog for the first 10 seconds.

Speaker 8 10 seconds fiction.

Speaker 8 10 seconds is fiction. It's longer.

Speaker 8 It was significantly shorter. We were in the middle of the conversation.

Speaker 8 And then I've been playing. I've been the one watching Blake this whole time.

Speaker 4 You've been in the studio.

Speaker 8 But if I hear him crying, I've been the one going out and making sure he's all right.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Probably because you love to see dogs cry.

Speaker 1 Let me take a look at this wrong. Dog in pain.

Speaker 1 Back to the game. Spangles at Niners.
Maybe a game of the day.

Speaker 4 I would say this game is actually can't lose for both teams.

Speaker 1 Well, Sam Darnold's starting, most likely, is. I think that you can't really get out of concussion protocol that quickly, right?

Speaker 4 Tua did.

Speaker 1 Tua did. Well, he watched Gruber.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We need to know Gruber.

Speaker 4 We need to know what mid-2000s comedies Brock Purdy's been watching. He did practice today, though.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's out of the protocol.

Speaker 4 I'm hoping for a Sam Darnold game.

Speaker 1 I would like to see it. I am as well.
I am as well. I

Speaker 1 Bengals off of bye. T.
Higgins back. A little healthy.
Joe Burrow got that pep in his step. Trent Williams, is he playing?

Speaker 4 Debo's not. Debo's out.
And Debo makes a big difference.

Speaker 1 Both those guys make a huge difference.

Speaker 4 Because Debo's, he's the guy that Brock Purdy looks to when they blitz, right? Right.

Speaker 1 And Trent Williams is a guy who blocks everyone when they blitz.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I feel like if it's a blitz and you're looking at the hot route, having a guy that you trust, that you've got good rapport with, is pretty important in terms of timing, as opposed to a guy that maybe you haven't worked with that much, where you might throw a ball too quickly.

Speaker 4 These are good points.

Speaker 4 These are good points.

Speaker 4 Debo, yeah,

Speaker 4 they've got Ayuk, who's a great receiver on the other side in his own right, but also is Debo the most important player on the offense?

Speaker 1 I think Trent Williams is. Trent Williams is.
I think Trent Williams is for sure. I also,

Speaker 1 Christian McCaffrey is playing through an oblique injury, and I don't think he's exactly the same.

Speaker 4 I'll say that. The two touchdowns covered up a lot of stuff for him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's he's last two games 15 carries 45 yards 11 carries 43 yards obviously he catches the ball as well but yeah i maybe just like christian mccaffrey at 85 is still one of the best running backs in the in the world but christian mccaffrey at 85 without debo salmon without trent williams things look different this is going to sound horny but it's not okay Get the bonk list ready.

Speaker 4 If you have a hip injury or an oblique injury, going home to Olivia Munn every night, it must be tough to have that injury fully healed.

Speaker 1 Wait, he's dating Olivia Munn?

Speaker 4 Isn't he? No. Is it different, Olivia?

Speaker 1 I was going to say, same thing.

Speaker 4 That's what I meant. Yeah.
Let me rephrase that. It applies to both, though.
I don't know who's dating Olivia Munn, but if you have an oblique injury going home to Olivia,

Speaker 1 Paris Tiles. No, Olivia Munn is married together.

Speaker 4 They're divorced. Sadakis?

Speaker 1 No. Fuck.
Why can't I even think of his name right now? John Mulaney. John Malaney.
Yes. Thank you.
Lives June 20th. Here Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Week Hips, probably on that.

Speaker 1 This has been a fun week. We got it all.
We connected it. Thanks for tuning in to Pop Culture.
Who's married to Sudan?

Speaker 4 Sudakis and Olivia Munn broke up. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Olivia Rodrigo. Yes.
Rodrigo Blankenship.

Speaker 1 No. Who did Sudakis? Wild, right? Olivia Wild! It's true, Olivia.
This is Wild.

Speaker 1 This is fucking crazy.

Speaker 4 It's funny because, like, we cannot keep track of the Oliviers, but I know like 20 different Jalens. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I know exactly who they are.

Speaker 4 How many Deshauns do I know? A fuckload.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck. All right.
Can't look at this.

Speaker 4 But the point stands, which is when you're married to her, it must be tough to rehab from like anything involving your corner.

Speaker 1 To any of the Oliviers. Any of the Oliviers.
You're married to a woman named Olivia. And Olivia, you're good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so yeah, I... I kind of lean the Bengals here.
I kind of lean the Bengals here.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Who's Joe Burrow dating?

Speaker 4 We don't know. And we were going to respect his private life.

Speaker 1 Come on, hang on. That changes.

Speaker 4 It's up to Joe. Whoever he wants.

Speaker 3 Olivia Holzmacher.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 I don't know how to pronounce it.

Speaker 1 That's actually who he's dating? Yeah. He's dating a fucking old man.
Did you know that when he said it?

Speaker 3 Did you know it was an Olivia?

Speaker 1 Did you know that was an Olivia? I swear. No, I thought it was up.
I swear. What the fuck is going on? That would be next level if I was.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, Vince LeBarty, what the hell is going on out here?

Speaker 4 I've never met an Olivia in real life.

Speaker 1 And everyone's fucking Stram.

Speaker 4 Am I the only person that hasn't fucked an Olivia?

Speaker 1 I haven't. I have not.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Me neither.
Max just raised his eyebrows. Hank's doing a little Jersey Jerry wink.

Speaker 7 That's nuts.

Speaker 4 Too many Olivias.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Do they just make Olivias hotter?

Speaker 4 I think maybe if you date an Olivia, you reach the top.

Speaker 3 There's got to be a picnic here somewhere for you, big cat.

Speaker 1 I'm also thinking of,

Speaker 1 I have a couple friends whose daughter's name's olivia and they listen to this show and they're gonna text me and be like what the

Speaker 1 dude olivias are hot well they're they they marry quite well yeah

Speaker 1 okay all right shout out olivias everywhere uh do we have any listeners name olivia oh for sure they're the hottest yeah they are the hottest yeah hit up the youtube comments if your name's olivia

Speaker 1 sup uh nerd nugget oh this was the best this was the best analysis of a game ever this is crazy that was nuts that was nuts i feel like you knew that.

Speaker 7 I promise you, I did not. Okay.

Speaker 3 The 49ers are the only team in the NFL to have four different players with two or more interceptions this year. Talanoa Hufunga, Diamador Lenore, Charverius Ward, and Fred Warner.

Speaker 1 You just did that because you want to say the name.

Speaker 1 What? You did that Nerd Nugget because you want to say the name. You crushed it.

Speaker 4 I practiced it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you wanted to say the name. You wanted to flex.
You flexed. Say it again, Jay.
You flexed with a nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Diamond Lenore.

Speaker 1 No. No, shut up.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 The other guy.

Speaker 4 Tarverius Ward? No.

Speaker 1 What are you doing right now? Diamond or Lenore. Talanoa Hufunga.
Yes. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 What the hell?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And Fred Warner.

Speaker 1 He just flexed again. Yeah.
Because he was like, oh, you want me to do the hard name? And he said he didn't do yet. Fred Warner is the only one who is the hard name.
Who are easy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but a funga is the hard name.

Speaker 3 If you have a crazy name and you can play defense, you're on the 49ers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Browns and Seahawks.
I'm high on the Seahawks. I am too.

Speaker 4 I think we've reached a good point in the, does Deshaun Watson really love football discourse?

Speaker 4 And I think the waters have been muddied successfully enough to now I'm at the point where I'm like, yeah, I don't think he really does love football.

Speaker 1 No, I also, I'm so high on the Seahawks. PFD, would you like to ride on a bet with me?

Speaker 4 Well, I do like the Seahawks this week. No, I know.
Would you like to ride on a bet with me? It depends on what the bet is.

Speaker 1 You have to say yes before, and then you have to bet it with me. Yeah.
Seahawks plus 400 to win the NFC West.

Speaker 1 Both their games against the 49ers are ahead of them.

Speaker 4 We love betting against our friends.

Speaker 1 Listen, we have some friends on the Seahawks. DK.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true. More like a friend of me.

Speaker 1 I don't think.

Speaker 1 It's not a bet against the 49ers can win. Fortniners actually might be better at winning the Super Bowl as a wild card.

Speaker 1 How about that take?

Speaker 4 I don't think DK can do it.

Speaker 1 Well, you already said yes, so you have to do it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I will do it. But I just also want to fire up DK a little bit.
DK, he's a hothead right now. He's been injured.
I don't think this guy's got together.

Speaker 4 It seems like all the pre-draft analysis was right on him, where it's like, why is DK, you know, why is he falling so low?

Speaker 4 well because he can't turn i think he has learned how to turn but he forgot his bread and butter yeah he's very tough at going straight now cancel the bet just looked at their schedule hadn't looked at their schedule i already said yes though okay we'll do a little bet i'll sprinkle a little friendship sprinkle a little bit uh oh can we do i don't know if you could parlay the seahawks to win the west and the 49ers to win the super bowl well what you can do that would be a wow here's what we should do there's some bets because i was looking at exact order of division bets yeah we can bet on the seahawks to win the division 49ers coming second rams coming third.

Speaker 4 Cardinals coming fourth. I would ride on that because you'd probably get some good value.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
They have a tough schedule. And I also, all my Seahawks love, is crazy as it sounds, is because I bet on the Bengals versus the Seahawks, and I had no business winning that game.

Speaker 1 And I walked away from it being like, respect. Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're a tough team.

Speaker 1 That was a respect loss.

Speaker 4 The Seahawks, they're a tough out.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, they're a good team.
Yeah, and the Browns, PJ Walker on the road. Nah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 PJ Walker's a nice player.

Speaker 1 He's a nice player. Nice guy.
He's a nice player. Nice guy.
Nice guy.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 3 The Seahawks defense currently has a three-game streak of keeping opponents under 250 yards of offense. The last time that occurred was the last three games of the 2015 season.

Speaker 4 Legion of Spoon?

Speaker 3 Was that Legion of Boom or right after?

Speaker 1 I don't know. This one in 2013.

Speaker 4 This is Legion of Spoon, and I do believe in the Seahawks defense.

Speaker 4 I feel like they are.

Speaker 1 They're for real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to say the Seahawks defense for real. Kyle called them when we were driving over over here.
He called them in the middle period, the Legion of Whom. Oh, okay.
I had never heard that.

Speaker 1 That was good.

Speaker 4 That's good when they're having a bad season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Like, it was Legion of Boom, then it was Legion of Whom.
Now it's Legion of Spoon. Okay, yeah, I like that.
Yeah, I like that. Okay, next up, Ravens, Cardinals.

Speaker 1 Cardinals stink.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they stink, but...

Speaker 4 They hit in the first half again. They did.
They did.

Speaker 4 This is the playbook for the Cardinals. You go out there, you might even win the first half.
You compete. You have a good game plan going into it.
Must compete.

Speaker 1 Then you compete.

Speaker 4 And then at halftime, their coach is like, okay, remember, we're tanking right now. So we're going to make zero adjustments or maybe make a bunch of wrong adjustments at halftime.

Speaker 4 Then we're going to get our teeth kicked in in the second half. And everybody's going to be happy afterwards because this is the game plan.
This is what we're going to do.

Speaker 4 I want to keep that formula going because I'm a very bad gambler, but when I find something that works, I stick with those. So they keep me afloat to support all my other terrible bets.

Speaker 4 So I've been making money on this one, but now the Cardinals are missing Zach Ertz,

Speaker 4 big part of their offense, and they're missing James Conner, who's actually been good this year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 4 this is going to be the make-or-break moment for me. I'm going to do it again this week.
And if they burn me, then I'm off the Cardinals.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 4 they're going to get their shit kicked in in the second half at least against the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 The Ravens' seven overall touchdowns allowed this season ties their 2000 Super Bowl team for fewest permitted by Baltimore through the first seven games games of a season in franchise history.

Speaker 3 That's pretty impressive.

Speaker 1 The Ravens are good. Yeah.
They're very good. Yeah.
Like seven touchdowns in seven weeks.

Speaker 1 If the Ravens, if the Todd Muncin offense, if that was the game against the Lions, the launching pad for that offense, like we could look back and be like, oh shit, the Ravens are really good.

Speaker 1 They also just love... This is another Lamar playing the NFC.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true. A good point.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 16-1. They just love playing anyone but the AFC North.
Yeah. I feel like whenever the Ravens play the AFC North, it's trouble.
Whenever Whenever they can get out of the division, they can beat people.

Speaker 4 Is Kyler Murray playing this week? No. Are we sure?

Speaker 1 Not sure.

Speaker 3 I think he participated in practice fully.

Speaker 1 Oh, so maybe.

Speaker 1 Because this job needs him to play.

Speaker 4 The Cardinals have all the short kings. Hollywood Brittany.
Right off the injury.

Speaker 4 Rondo Moore is so fun to watch. Explosives.

Speaker 4 He's back soon. Kyler Murray.

Speaker 1 He's back soon.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Last afternoon game, Chiefs at Broncos. I thought we were going to get our first snow game of the year.
It's going to snow in Denver on Saturday.

Speaker 4 So is it going to be cold on Sunday?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 They'll get it off the field, don't they?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they'll get it off the field. So I was excited because I was like, ooh, first snow game.
Pretty early, but it would have been cool.

Speaker 1 Did you know, and this is a fucked up stat because the Chiefs are really, really good and probably the best team in the NFL. Did you know that the Chiefs lead the league in passes dropped?

Speaker 1 I did not know that. Such bullshit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 18. That's such bullshit.

Speaker 4 It is, but half those are Kadarius Toney. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's that's just that's bullshit.
Also, here's a stat, a little woe stat for everyone out there.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes in his career has lost 17 games in the regular season. Russell Wilson in his Broncos career has lost 16.

Speaker 1 So if Russell Wilson loses this game, he will have the same amount of losses in his one one and a half years with the Broncos as Patrick Mahomes has his entire career.

Speaker 4 So everything about this game tells you take the Chiefs, including that stat right there. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And they've been historically dominant over the Broncos, who have just had a sad, sad recent history against the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 But I was thinking to myself, because I'm looking for an excuse to not bet on the Chiefs in this game.

Speaker 4 Do you think Broncos players are going to play harder knowing that they're playing for the right to possibly not be on the Broncos anymore?

Speaker 1 Like you

Speaker 1 could get traded.

Speaker 4 yeah play your way out of jail yeah it's a possibility just something that i thought about i'd be probably very dumb in in using that analysis to try to bet on the broncos this week yeah but it's something that crossed my mind and i'm not totally convinced that it's wrong yeah just work it out you got a couple you got 48 hours to work it out yeah uh all right last game bears chargers oh nerd nuggets sorry This one's actually crazy.

Speaker 3 I do this once a week where it's my favorite one of the week.

Speaker 1 You're calling your shot?

Speaker 3 Yeah, last week it worked.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
I'm unbiased.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 This is from Curtis Siebel on Twitter. Since the beginning of 2017, the Chiefs have either led or have been tied for the lead in the AFC West in 102 of 111 regular season weeks.

Speaker 3 They've led the AFC West for nearly six consecutive years.

Speaker 1 Well, they've won the AFC West for seven consecutive years.

Speaker 3 Week one through week 17 slash 18, 102 out of 111.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say...

Speaker 4 B minus crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, because the Chiefs like... But leading it like.
Even the the chiefs are 30 and 3 or patrick is 29

Speaker 1 i feel like they lost a game between weeks one and four where they didn't lead every week they lost well the chiefs haven't led yeah the chiefs haven't led every 102 out of 111.

Speaker 1 i if you had said 100 if you had said 110 out of 111 i would have been like crazy

Speaker 1 well okay i'm being unbiased it's a good stat like the patriots had a longer run The Patriots had 11 years in a row, so the Chiefs are tied for the second most with seven years in a row winning the division.

Speaker 3 So of those nine weeks, eight of them came in 2021.

Speaker 3 So most of them, they have

Speaker 1 okay, that's interesting. You're working towards something.
So that's how you got to frame the stat now.

Speaker 4 It's like, besides this one

Speaker 3 year that completely did two through week nine of 2021 and then week one of this year when they lost to the Lions, they've led the AFC West since 2017 every week.

Speaker 1 That's fairly good.

Speaker 4 I think that's fairly impressive.

Speaker 1 I'll go up to a B. Fine.
I'm going to give you a B.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I convinced myself.

Speaker 4 Now that I think about it, I would sell a kidney to even have the weeks that they didn't lead the division to have the commanders in the last seven years.

Speaker 4 Like, that's how many years they've led the division. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Yeah.
Eight weeks? Yeah. Eight weeks.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Eight weeks.
Sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 All right. Bears, Chargers.

Speaker 1 Tyson Pagent. Let's see what you got.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the only note I had for Bears Chargers, I literally just wrote, why, question mark. Why?

Speaker 1 I think it's just

Speaker 1 they didn't want to burn one of their flexes. Chicago is obviously a big market.
And yeah.

Speaker 1 Why? That's it.

Speaker 4 Why are you doing this?

Speaker 1 So I am going to take the Bears against the spread because

Speaker 1 they, like, Brandon Staley just lives to fuck up games and make him a three-point win or three-point loss. That's what he loves to do.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think that's fair to say. Like, they all

Speaker 4 they seem to be playing. It's like going back to Phillip Rivers.
Yeah. Justin Herbert with the ball in his hands, driving down a score, fourth quarter.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 It has to happen. Exactly.
Nerd nugget.

Speaker 3 Chargers running back Austin Eckler needs one touchdown to reach 30 for his career. That would set the record for most receiving touchdowns in the Super Bowl era by a running back with a single team.

Speaker 3 They would break a tie with Brian Westbrook, who has 29 with the Eagles.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 4 I would put the Chargers up there with the Titans in terms of good running backs on a team for a long time. Yeah.
They've got a good history.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Daniel carries a lot. He's, yeah.
Lorenzo Neal, Natron Means.

Speaker 4 Natron means

Speaker 1 business.

Speaker 4 Michael Turner, Darren Sprolls. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, they had some good ones. Melvin Gordon.
Melvin Gordon.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Ryan Matthews.

Speaker 1 Ryan Matthews.

Speaker 1 Picks.

Speaker 1 And standings.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm taking on water. Standings

Speaker 3 for the warm-up opening act of our show in Las Vegas. I am 9-4-1.

Speaker 3 Max is 8-6. Memes is 6-8.

Speaker 1 Aw.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, memes.

Speaker 3 And for the main event between you guys, Big Cat, seven, five, and two, PFT, eight and six.

Speaker 3 So I guess you guys are technically tied.

Speaker 1 Uh, yeah, I think

Speaker 1 Matt wins that. Yeah, we're tied.
Yeah, we both have eight points.

Speaker 3 Yeah, uh, Hank, six, seven, and one.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that would be an electric show. Got your ass.

Speaker 1 All right, who's up first? Big cat, you're up first. I'm up first.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Yes. Can I pass? No.

Speaker 1 Can't pass. Nope.
Being up first. Nope.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I don't want to be up first.

Speaker 1 I'll go with...

Speaker 4 Talk a lot about the Packers.

Speaker 1 I'll do a stupid one. Saints Colts over 43 and a half.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Who's up next?

Speaker 4 That would be.

Speaker 4 I'm stalling.

Speaker 3 Should we just start a new cycle now that we have made it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's start a new cycle. PFT first.
Because this is our seats now. These are our seats.
Yeah, we're going from the old studio and it's all

Speaker 1 jumbled. So you go PFT.
We'll go around

Speaker 1 the clock next week.

Speaker 4 This feels like we're switching up methods and mid-streaming.

Speaker 1 No, this is fine. You want to go Hank second?

Speaker 3 I just think it's easier for us to go.

Speaker 1 I agree with Jake. Okay.
We're going to be in this circle exactly this way. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Steelers. Stillers.
Stillers.

Speaker 4 Stillers plus two and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with

Speaker 3 Rams plus six against the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Sean McVay, baby game.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Max. Jake, did you listen to what we said about that? Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Baby can't score a touchdown. Yeah, you can't get a bad thing.

Speaker 3 McVay can't score more time away from his battles.

Speaker 1 Max. Big cat, what did you say? I said the over in the Saints Colts.
I'll say Packers plus one and a half. Great.
Against the Black. Smart move.
You're an idiot. I laid that trap perfectly.

Speaker 1 I don't think the Packers are so bad. They're never going to win that game.
You fell for the trap, idiot.

Speaker 1 Shut up. You shut up.

Speaker 1 It's actually my Mortal Lock advisor, so I really do like them. All right, memes.

Speaker 4 Jaguars, minus two and a half.

Speaker 1 Oh, head-to-head with PFT. Hank, double.

Speaker 7 Bears, plus eight and a half. Tyson Bagent, money line.
Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 7 And then I'm going to go in honor of Olivia.

Speaker 7 Bengals, 49ers over, 43.5. and a half.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Memes. Vikings, Packers over 42.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Remember when Olivia Soprano died?

Speaker 1 Do you know the Vikings are actually

Speaker 1 like six and one to the under, I think, this year?

Speaker 1 Makes no sense. They miss it by like a couple points.
Yeah, by a half a point every time. That's crazy.
All right, Max.

Speaker 8 I will go Falcons, Titans, under.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that, Max. I like what you did there.
You've got 35 and a half. Ooh,

Speaker 1 Army, Navy.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay, go ahead, Jake.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with Eagles, Commanders, over 43.5. It wasn't like 34, 31 at the time, the other time?

Speaker 1 That's exactly how I'll go again.

Speaker 6 Fine.

Speaker 3 You little small. Part two.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT. I'm going to take the

Speaker 4 Ravens, Cardinals over 44.5.

Speaker 1 Did someone take the Seahawks? No. I'll take the Seahawks minus three and a half.
And those are our picks. We'll post them out on Sunday.
And let's do some fantasy fuck boys.

Speaker 4 What's up, fuckers?

Speaker 1 What's up, fuckers?

Speaker 7 It's Daedalus Diggle.

Speaker 7 My statum is Christoph Porsengis.

Speaker 7 Unbelievable debut for the Seas.

Speaker 4 The spacing on the floor was incredible.

Speaker 1 30 points.

Speaker 7 Game winning three. Clutch gene defense.
He stays healthy. this team's winning number 18.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 7 My sit him.

Speaker 7 Bellatrix Lestrange.

Speaker 1 Of course. Oh, what?

Speaker 7 She's a murderous whore. What'd she do? Took out Sirius.

Speaker 1 Took out the long bottoms.

Speaker 7 Someone's got to stop this bitch.

Speaker 8 Right. I've been saying that for years.

Speaker 1 And my sleeper. I know exactly who that is.
That's a good point. Is driving into polls.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 7 You fall asleep at the wheel, or you're just blind as a bat. You just drive straight into a pocket line and into a pole.

Speaker 4 Well, you can suck my dick. It happens to a lot of guys.

Speaker 1 The video is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 We're going to watch it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, I suck my dick from the back.

Speaker 4 I'm starting. Hey, hey, what's up,

Speaker 4 you

Speaker 1 cocksuckers?

Speaker 4 You cocksuckers.

Speaker 1 This is Buzz Flaviano.

Speaker 4 Yeah, there we go. They call me the B-Man.

Speaker 4 I'm starting Sam Halloween. Spooky, spooky.
Making scary throws to Scary Perry this weekend.

Speaker 4 Love Sam how I'm sitting giant poles in parking lots because some people pull it up on a fucking Google Maps and they say, Oh, look at this day glow yellow that was wrapped around this pole telling you, Don't hit me.

Speaker 4 And then all of a sudden, somebody took the day glow yellow off, and it's now a very hazardous pole that many people will be driving into. God forbid.

Speaker 1 God forbid.

Speaker 4 My sleeper is carbon monoxide because you should change your carbon monoxide batteries when you set your clocks back, which as well. This weekend, good call.

Speaker 1 What's up, fuckers? It's Santino Fantino.

Speaker 4 ASF.

Speaker 1 My stardom this week is Barry Sanders. And a special fuck you to LinkedIn because Barry Sanders couldn't get into his LinkedIn and he asked everyone to help him out.

Speaker 1 What fucking job is Barry Sanders looking for?

Speaker 4 I don't know, but now I can't look up his resume.

Speaker 1 I have no idea what he did. He said LinkedIn has suspended my account as they don't believe it's me.

Speaker 1 It is him. It's Barry.
My cinema is the Chicago Bulls one game in. They got a players-only meeting.
Yeah, that's pretty good. That's sad.

Speaker 4 Oh, Bills had a players-only meeting too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty good. They told Billy Donovan, take a hike.
And then my sleeper is Connor Stallions with the Michigan Manifesto. I want to read that manifesto.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 4 550 pages.

Speaker 1 That book. Anytime

Speaker 4 you write a manifesto about something, you're fucked up.

Speaker 1 You're fucked up.

Speaker 4 Real quick, with the manifesto. Yeah.
This is new news today. The FBI has actually joined the investigation to Michigan football.
Well, that's

Speaker 7 how many FBI agents went to Ohio State.

Speaker 1 Well, there already was an investment. That's a separate.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but this is a new investment. The FBI now is investing.

Speaker 1 Because there was

Speaker 1 a staffer, I think Matt Weiss is his name, he got all of his computers taken over the summer. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Mission. What's the difference between a manifesto and a mission statement?

Speaker 4 The manifesto is if you're going to murder somebody,

Speaker 4 typically.

Speaker 1 I'm more of a protocol.

Speaker 7 It's a mission statement of a person's or group's beliefs, aims, and policies

Speaker 1 for their political beliefs.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you write a manifesto, you should be arrested.

Speaker 1 It's bad. It's bad.

Speaker 1 Stick with protocols.

Speaker 4 There's a conspiracy theory that I am 100% on board with now about Connor Stallions. So Big T brought this to my attention yesterday.
I've been digging into it a little bit.

Speaker 4 There were some allegations that Michigan had also helped out future opponents of potential future playoff teams to get ahead of it so that Michigan would, in theory, have an easier time in the college football playoff.

Speaker 4 You go back and you look at South Carolina, who I think they scored zero points on offense the week before they played Tennessee, and then they dropped 60 points on Tennessee.

Speaker 4 And then the week after that, they go on the road against another top five team, Clemson, and they beat Clemson. And they were a shitty team until those two weeks.

Speaker 4 And the game against Tennessee, that's the first time

Speaker 4 that South Carolina had been wearing wristbands on defense.

Speaker 4 The first time they've ever done that.

Speaker 1 Wait, the Clemson thing doesn't make sense because Clemson sucked last year.

Speaker 4 No, Clemson, I think at the time. No, they weren't in the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure. Okay.
But I like the other part.

Speaker 4 Let's look it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we just got to clean it up because

Speaker 1 I think the Clemson part might be Big T should let go of the Clemson part.

Speaker 4 Okay, I asked Big T also to bring me a connection. What is the connection between Michigan and South Carolina? Because if there's a connection, then I'll continue pulling on this string.

Speaker 4 The defensive coordinator at South Carolina played defensive back at Stanford from 2007 to 2009 when Harbaugh was their head coach. Ooh, interesting.
It is interesting to think about.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of interesting things. Clemson had lost the previous week to Notre Dame.
They got smoked

Speaker 1 in November of 2022.

Speaker 1 Like two weeks before.

Speaker 4 Three weeks before. So I guess the theory on this, so Clemson didn't stink at the time, right?

Speaker 1 They had taken a very bad one loss. They took a bad one loss.

Speaker 4 So the theory is that Harbaugh was looking ahead, protecting himself in case he lost to Ohio State. Got it.
To be like, we don't want to be the only.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 We don't want to go up against another one lost team and compete to see who's going to get into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I don't hate it. I don't hate it.

Speaker 4 I love this story so much. And

Speaker 4 there's two very funny possible outcomes to it. One, Michigan wins the national championship, which would be hilarious.

Speaker 1 And then gets a lifetime ban.

Speaker 4 And then lifetime ban. Two, Michigan,

Speaker 4 if like all this shit is real, then the Big Ten, probably not the NCAA, the Big Ten might say you're not playing in our championship game this year.

Speaker 4 And Michigan would, I don't know, they might not be bull eligible if there's enough, if there's enough shit going on behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 The only problem is the NCAA works so slow. They do.
Jim Harbaugh's still open in investigation for the COVID violations.

Speaker 4 That's true. They drag their feet so hard.

Speaker 4 I have had some very high-level conversations with the highest of levels at Barstool Sports about a potential national championship game if Michigan is bull ineligible

Speaker 4 Michigan and James Madison and James Madison if James Madison's also undefeated.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 1 We're not thinking about James Madison.

Speaker 4 The conversations have started. Yes, I like that.

Speaker 1 High level. High level.
High level.

Speaker 4 The highest of level conversations.

Speaker 4 I've had a couple sit-downs with some big shot callers here.

Speaker 4 They're talking about it.

Speaker 1 Okay, I like it. Hank, what's up? Did you get to see PFT's video?

Speaker 4 I haven't yet. Have you seen it, PFT? I have seen the video.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I see it? Can we see it? Oh. what do you mean, my video? Great.

Speaker 4 We can see it for the listeners out there.

Speaker 7 We can see it.

Speaker 7 The video of you crashing into a poll.

Speaker 1 So did you see it?

Speaker 4 Because I was the one that got the security footage yesterday, Max.

Speaker 1 No, you didn't?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I went into this into the office and I was like, hey, let me see the surveillance footage. And the guy started playing it for me.

Speaker 1 I didn't see it yet.

Speaker 4 And downloading it. I was the one that got it.
You came in late.

Speaker 1 I have not seen it. I would like to see it.
Also, everyone, subscribe to the YouTube because we now have the capabilities of playing videos for ourselves in studio. Watch this poll come.

Speaker 1 So we might start doing this like a Jamie, please pull up PFT crashing into a pole.

Speaker 4 Okay, so there's the pole.

Speaker 7 Where's the there's you said there's another car.

Speaker 4 Actually, I can't even see the pole.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, you're this is not

Speaker 4 a good driver thing. Uh, so what we're not seeing right now is the giant 18-wheeler that was coming at me from the left.
You guys didn't even get all the angles.

Speaker 4 He said he was going to send you all the angles.

Speaker 1 He was like, awesome powers going back and forth. Oh, no, PFT.
This is a bad look.

Speaker 4 Okay, there's, there's, there we go. There's my car.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 4 crunch, crunch right into it.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 And then I backed off and I'm trying to get it.

Speaker 1 And the sensors, you know, the sensors are going crazy right now.

Speaker 4 Every sensor was going up.

Speaker 1 And you just were like, nah, I'm fine. And I'm trying to get out.
Oh, and you're scraping it more?

Speaker 4 I can't even see that pull.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh,

Speaker 1 this is not helping the I'm a good driver. But you do it.

Speaker 7 That's it, though, right?

Speaker 4 You didn't even play it from the start. Then I get out of there.

Speaker 1 There's no 18-wheeler.

Speaker 1 No car.

Speaker 4 See that car on the left? On the far left?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like 100 feet away?

Speaker 4 No, that's a FedEx 18-wheeler that made me turn out of there because I had.

Speaker 1 Which is a pretty routine turn that you're making. The FedEx is on the street.
Yeah, and this is also.

Speaker 8 The FedEx is right here.

Speaker 1 This is a very regular turn.

Speaker 4 I'm a perfect driver.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 4 Well, Jake's not allowed to laugh.

Speaker 1 You hear that, Jake?

Speaker 6 I'm not laughing.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to laugh. Yeah, but if you thought about laughing, then cut it out.
Yeah. I'm not laughing.
Okay.

Speaker 4 You rooted for Jim Bayheim.

Speaker 1 I just want to know what I

Speaker 1 you rooted for Dan Snyder's team for a very long time.

Speaker 4 See what you want about Dan Snyder, but I don't think he.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're wrong.

Speaker 4 He has a driver.

Speaker 1 Also, Jake's a big Tony Elliott guy.

Speaker 1 I know you're thinking of it. Tony Stewart,

Speaker 1 yeah. Big Tony Stewart guy.
Play the hits.

Speaker 1 I need to know what. Don't call him hits, dude.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 It's not a game. Jesus Christ.
Now Jake's laughing. Oh, I think I'm a snake.
You're not laughing

Speaker 3 that backfired.

Speaker 4 I made a bad turn,

Speaker 4 but that poll came out of nowhere. And the fact remains that the poll used to be clearly marked as a safety hazard with yellow.
And then Hank designs a parking lot.

Speaker 4 And all of a sudden, the safety yellow is completely gone.

Speaker 1 You did this, Hank. You did this.

Speaker 7 I'm going to fix it. I'm going to get a giant fathead of you.
there to kind of commemorate the moment and remind people not to drive into this poll.

Speaker 4 So like two days ago, I was just looking at how awesome my car was before I ran into this poll. And then now it's just like, I'm so disappointed in myself.

Speaker 1 It's a sick car, though. There's got to be a guy.
Someone hit us up. Auto body shop.
Give us a nice deal.

Speaker 1 No free ads. No free ads.
All right, let's get to Kyle Long.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, long-term, long-time friend of the show, recurring guest, in person, first ever in-person guest in the new pardon my take studios it is kyle long uh our guy three-time pro bowler no big deal you can see him on cbs on sundays you can see him on the green light podcast you can also see him on the barstow pro football football show uh on friday nights and sunday mornings re-air uh kyle What's going on, boys?

Speaker 1 Welcome. It's great to see you.
Awesome studio, awesome building here. I'm so happy.
I was just saying before we started, I'm secondhand proud of you guys, like your family, and you are family. Yes.

Speaker 1 We've been nurturing this relationship for a while, so it's great to see y'all in studio.

Speaker 4 I appreciate that. Does that mean Howie's your dad, too?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Howie's, you know, somewhere in there, you know, you might get some kick downs, some kickbacks from the old flat top.

Speaker 4 I just want to, I want the ability to visit the Montana house for like one week a year.

Speaker 1 You got it. And there's nobody willing to invite more people to our summer home than my dad.
He's so proud of it. Like you guys are of the studio.
Dad's like, have you been to Montana? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys talked to him. Yeah.
Yeah, no, we talked to him. It was a great interview.

Speaker 1 I want to go to Montana, Montana and I want PFT and I to go out on a boat and pretend that we're in trouble so he has to rescue us to get those numbers up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, the thing is, if he does rescue you in the middle of the lake, dad always brings the biodegradable soap, just in case in the emergency of you're really dirty.

Speaker 1 He's like, did you know you can bathe out here?

Speaker 1 It's a big bath. Catch this soap.

Speaker 4 I love that. That's such a dad thing because he's going out there to save you, but also he's bringing a dad fact with him.

Speaker 4 He's like, did you know that this lake is so clean that it could actually be bathwater?

Speaker 1 Yes, this Mr. Keel's, Dr.
Keel's soap, will actually benefit the fish population.

Speaker 4 He was great. He was great on the show.
And I didn't realize before we interviewed him that he was in that thing you do. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So did you, when did you find out that your dad played a gay guy in that thing you do?

Speaker 1 That's a great question.

Speaker 1 Great question. I knew that he was.

Speaker 1 He had a part, a small part, something like in the director's cut, I believe. It was the scene with Tom Hanks and my dad leaving a nice hotel, going to a date night.

Speaker 1 And dad's waiting in the car for Tom Hanks, who's trying to get his band members back to the hotel. They've been drunk all night.
So he's like, I'm going on a date.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dad, Tom Hanks dating in a drop-top Corvette, probably,

Speaker 1 you know, 1960s Corvette.

Speaker 1 It was a good look for my dad. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That actually, it is a big come up if your dad, in theory, in like movie land, Hollywood world, if he is good-looking enough where he could conceivably play Tom Hanks' boyfriend.

Speaker 1 He's a dual threat. Just like when you look at some of these quarterbacks, they can throw it, they can stand in the pocket.
Dad,

Speaker 1 he's

Speaker 1 at a high level yes um all right so i mentioned at the top you you you analyze football for a living now which actually before we talk about the nfl right now and maybe some week eight picks uh how do you like analyzing football for a living is it

Speaker 1 Is it a little weird?

Speaker 1 I thought it was going to be a lot easier than it is. Okay.
Honestly, you know, every Sunday, and luckily I just do pre-game. I don't have to do post-game.

Speaker 1 And I'm with CBS Sports, and we tee up the NFL Today show with Phil Sims and and Boomer and all those guys But my job is give people my opinions before the game what's gonna happen and I don't have to answer them after the game.

Speaker 1 Right. That's great.
I don't have to come back in at halftime and say well I was way fucking off on Detroit this week Which is great and you know, that's fun.

Speaker 1 I get to talk from an O-lineman's perspective, which there's not many of in TV. You get a lot of skill players, you get a lot of quarterbacks, coaches, cowboys, get a lot of journalists.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think the offensive line community is one that

Speaker 1 isn't able to speak up on a national level enough. And I love what Whitworth's done with Amazon.
He does a really good job. And they let him lead some segments, which is great.

Speaker 1 I think he's an ass kicker and a great guy. But as far as I go.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I watch what I watch, which is a line of scrimmage. And if you do something worth talking about outside of that, I'm probably going to talk about it.
But it's hard. You know, it's hard.

Speaker 1 You have to come up with fresh things to say every week. I can't just say their D-line's better.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You got a lot of tips.

Speaker 4 You can just call people frauds.

Speaker 1 I can call people frauds, which I've done. I called Daniel Jones Daniel Loans a couple years ago.

Speaker 1 And that was my first step over the line.

Speaker 1 I was like, Daniel Loans. And people were like, that wasn't that good.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can also just make stuff up. You can make stuff up, which I have.
Yeah, if you're wrong, you'd be like, that was a bit. Yep.

Speaker 1 That's essentially the entirety of this show. You have to check the injury reports, too.
Because you and I and PFT, we know the teams, we we know the rosters.

Speaker 1 No, I oftentimes like to let it surprise me. When you're asked about the day of like somebody was like, what's going to happen in this game? I'm like, well, so-and-so's going to have a great game.

Speaker 1 They're like, so-and-so's on IR. Yeah.
And I'm like, who was going to tell me that before this show? I like to get to the games on Sunday and be like, wait, I haven't seen this guy.

Speaker 1 And someone's like, oh, well, he broke his leg last week. I'm like, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 4 You know what else you get to do is like if a player, let's say Brock Purdy on Monday night football, Brock Purdy doesn't play well, then you go out and you absolutely like crucify the guy the next day, like, this guy sucks now.

Speaker 4 And then they announce, well, he actually had a concussion in the second half. Then you say, that's bullshit.
They're making excuses for him.

Speaker 4 You get to say that injuries aren't real, too, which is a real fun part of the job.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 And that's one thing that's tough about being in the media is they say, like, if you're calling a game or something and you guys have called live events, they say, if there's an injury, you're just supposed to say the guy's down.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to take guesses. We're not doctors.
We're not any of that stuff. And that's a point of emphasis before the season when you have your seminar, your webinar, or whatever.

Speaker 1 They're like, guys, you're not doctors.

Speaker 4 Like when Romo speculated, he's like, I don't don't want to speculate here, but that looks like a sprained ankle for Dak Prescott when his foot was turned back.

Speaker 1 That was, we did a rough and rowdy once when a guy had a seizure after getting knocked out.

Speaker 1 And I did the right thing of not talking about it, but I didn't realize the whole time they had the camera on us. And I was just like this.
I had my hands over my head.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, did the guy die? Like, all we see is Dan just looking like he died. So yeah, I got to learn on that.
I asked Jim Nance,

Speaker 1 you know, for any advice. You know, you asked, you get an opportunity to have a phone call with a guy like Jim Nance.
It was a conference call.

Speaker 1 It wasn't like I called called Jim Nance, but, you know, Jim, any advice? And he was like, you know, it's important to remember that it's a visual medium.

Speaker 1 And I was like, before he could even continue, I was like, fuck.

Speaker 1 You know, like, sometimes silence is golden. Yes.
And he paused for five seconds. And he was like, you don't have to fill up this space.
He was like, people are watching the game.

Speaker 1 They happen to be listening to us. That's good.
That's really good.

Speaker 4 Well, I have some advice for CBS. If you want to take this to the suits upstairs,

Speaker 4 CBS, fantastic network. I love watching games on

Speaker 1 your TV station. I'm invited to it on Sunday.

Speaker 4 On Fox, one thing that I think CBS could maybe learn from a little bit that Fox does is when a player gets injured, they play the Fox NFL Sunday music, but they do the somber version of it.

Speaker 4 And they go to commercial praise.

Speaker 1 You need a somber CBS.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you need injury music to let people know, like, hey. We're playing the buffer music, but also we're not happy about it.
We're not excited.

Speaker 1 Like, I think both me and Big Cat have said in the the past that we want the fox nfl injury music to be played at our funerals which as you lower the cast yeah it's like which stadium has the most disrespectful pa announcer like if somebody goes down what are they gonna play yeah i mean it's always what another one bites the dust yeah yeah i've heard it all a guy that's been injured in every stadium in america like i've heard all the songs that's a nice that's a nice little trophy in your in your closet yeah just a guy who's been injured in every stadium just a stack of fucking band-aids like uh you know and some dirt to rub on it yes Like, worst injury of the year could be an end-of-the-year NFL award.

Speaker 4 Like, you have the golden crutch. Yeah.
Hey, sorry. Well, they gave you the end of the year.

Speaker 1 They gave the Ed Block Courage Award, which I've won. I won it.
I won it because I came back from a brutal injury. That's the award, essentially.

Speaker 1 Like, somebody who showed toughness and the ability to get back on the horse, and then I got injured again. And they were like, yeah, he can't win the award again.
He can't keep doing this.

Speaker 1 They kept voting me in, and they were like, no, no, no, it's got to be somebody else.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's getting injured on purpose. Getting injured on this.
This sucks.

Speaker 1 yeah i i mean let's actually go into that real quick because it is very fascinating when we hear guys talk about injuries because we think oh okay you get an injury like oh yeah like you know you're still around the team you're still part of the thing but that's not how it works the nfl is that the worst part about the injury the fact that you are essentially a ghost in the facility take the word right out of my mouth if people don't talk to you people don't even like converse with you yeah i mean not only are you not playing and not helping but throughout throughout the day, your schedule is different.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? You may go to meetings with the office. Let's say I get an injury to my lower leg.
I can't play for six weeks.

Speaker 1 For six weeks, I'm going to be lifting by myself with the training staff. I'm going to be in early.
with the training staff. I'm going to be in late with the training staff.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to be able to practice with my guys. They're going to eat lunch at a different time than I am.
You become a ghost. You become a stranger to your own closest friends.

Speaker 1 And then when you get back in the building, after you've rehabbed and done all the things that they said, if you do this, you'll be able to come back.

Speaker 1 You get back, you don't feel like yourself on the field, and that's become your identity throughout the years. Then you say, Yeah, this isn't me.
I don't feel good. I don't feel good at all.

Speaker 1 And then you start to have the self-doubt, and then that injury becomes your career.

Speaker 4 Yeah, dude, you ever have coaches that blamed you for getting injured? Yes, that's the worst, isn't it? Yes.

Speaker 1 Why'd you step there? Dude,

Speaker 4 this guy's got pussy bones.

Speaker 1 We went to Tampa Bay and we were playing in my fourth year, I believe, and we had had a fullback by the name of Paul Lasique, who was, he had a voice like an angel, like a songbird, but he was a rugby guy.

Speaker 1 I think he was Kiwi.

Speaker 4 I like this guy.

Speaker 4 He was checking all the boxes.

Speaker 1 We ran the Andy Reed shovel pass in the low red area. Okay.
I was on the deuce block. So it's a double team with me and the right, I guess I was playing guard, so it would have been the right tackle.

Speaker 1 We're double teaming a guy. Cutler flips the ball to LaSique behind the deuce.
You know, they go with the shovel pass option.

Speaker 1 And the ball was fumbled. It landed on my legs near the back of my legs while I'm driving into the end zone.
And the pile falls on my legs,

Speaker 1 specifically my right ankle, which just got exploded.

Speaker 1 And I remember I went in after

Speaker 1 I got surgery like two days later. I went in to go meet with my coach.

Speaker 1 And he was like, you know, if you just use that fucking technique that I told you. What a dickhead.

Speaker 1 And I remember looking at him like, you've got to be kidding. Yeah.
In this moment here, that's what you chose to say. Yeah.
Like the entire pile just fell on my leg.

Speaker 1 What the fuck do you want me to do? Yeah, I mean, so that does happen.

Speaker 1 And, you know, was it my fault? Maybe. Was it not my fault? Maybe.
Yeah. Like football shit happens.
There's bodies flying around everywhere. Me and Will Compton were talking about it today.

Speaker 1 I said, there's some days I look at this game and I say, I could still play. And then he said, and there's some days I look at the game and I'm like, how did I play this game? Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 With all the bodies flying. That's crazy.
So, so

Speaker 1 when it comes to like coming back from injury, you just said it like the self-doubt.

Speaker 1 How do you deal with that where you're like, I know I should be moving this guy in front of me, but I can't. There's like a 10% of my strength is not there or I'm missing something.

Speaker 1 And how do you, because like I would imagine that happens in literally every locker room in the NFL and teams that are going through that, like a bunch of guys who get injuries, you think, oh, they're back.

Speaker 1 But you don't realize that it actually, they're not back until they've overcome that self-doubt.

Speaker 1 You know, there's levels to, there's different categories of players in the NFL as it pertains to response to injury. Like you go watch Lane Johnson last week against Jalen Phillips.

Speaker 1 Lane Johnson's out there on one leg. Jalen Phillips is one of the premier rushers in the NFL.
Lane Johnson's holding his own. Is he in pain? 100%.
There's no self-doubt in there, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Some of these guys are just wired differently. Joe Burrow on a calf, look like shit the first few weeks, but he's like, guys, I'm okay.
Right. Like, I'm Joe Burrow.
Right.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes, every week, seems as as if he's limping. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. People are always around his feet, but he's got mental toughness.

Speaker 1 I was gifted physically. I could do things that other guys can't do.
I can roll out of bed and go jump over something or run through something.

Speaker 1 But when you get injured, when I got injured, it was devastating mentally and from a confidence standpoint. And when you get back, before you even try to block somebody, you go through warm-ups.

Speaker 1 You go through high knees. You go through side shuffles.
And if you feel like shit during high knees, I promise you, you'll feel even worse during football.

Speaker 1 So if this is your return, like I'm thinking about Kyler Murray, 21 practice day return win.

Speaker 1 He probably feels good in indie and all that stuff. When things crank up, when he has to avoid a rush, when he's got to put that leg in the ground a different way, it may not feel the same.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Some guys just don't listen to that voice. I was a guy that did.

Speaker 1 And when it happened repeatedly,

Speaker 1 four years in a row, you start to say, hey, man, let's just...

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a great answer. Let's just get out of here alive.
Yeah, tell you something, though, that makes you normal.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 What you're describing right now is not a deficiency that you have. I think that's what 99.9% of people have based off 500,000 years of evolution, basically.

Speaker 4 It's like, hey, if you're injured, then protect that injury. And if it feels bad, then that shouldn't be something you continue to do.

Speaker 4 So it's like, it's a normal thing that you have, but some guys are just like, okay, they can tune that out. And they're absolute psychos.

Speaker 4 Like Tyreek Hill is another guy that I feel like he gets injured every week for like two plays and then he gets back in the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he puts his head down.

Speaker 1 He sulks a little bit, but he's walking at nine miles an hour. Yeah.
Then he gets back to the huddle and he's like, just throw it to me again.

Speaker 1 Your brother told me the funniest.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 he explained an injury in the NFL and he said the worst part of getting injured in the NFL is that you get injured and then you go into the locker room and then you're sitting there in a ton of pain and there's a dude who's like 140 pounds wearing khakis in a team-issued polo with his hands on his hips being like, you really not going to get back out there?

Speaker 1 And you just want to be like, dude, shut the fuck up. No, well, they don't even ask you that question, big cat.

Speaker 1 What they say is, so are we going to tape this or are we going to, what do you want to cast?

Speaker 1 They didn't even ask you. They're like, so you are going to play.
How are we going to get it done? Right, right, right. And just being frustrated with like, fuck, I need a second here.

Speaker 1 Oh, go ahead.

Speaker 4 I was going to say, as an analyst, like, welcome to the big leagues. You're, you know, big time CBS now.
Your words carry weight behind them.

Speaker 4 I was actually looking at your rankings of America's teams that you put out. And this wasn't on CBS.
This was with

Speaker 4 on Green Light with your brother Chris.

Speaker 4 It says right here that you have the Houston Astros as America's team.

Speaker 1 So I went second. So this thing is the Americas team is taking on a life of its own, right? Every week we get to pick who we think

Speaker 1 America is going to hang their hat on as their favorite team. And

Speaker 1 I thought, you know, with Michigan cheating, with Houston's history of cheating, I saw the response to Michigan. It was a polarizing response, I would say.

Speaker 1 And I like Altuve, and I like the ruffle feathers. And Chris is a Phillies fan, so I picked the Phillies and the Astros to play in the World Series, and then I picked the Astros to beat the Phillies.

Speaker 1 It looks like we're all wrong. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 You were right last year. But America's teams, they're fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I would say right now, America's team, in terms of the NFL, if you had to say which team,

Speaker 1 it's the Lions.

Speaker 4 The Lions are kind of there.

Speaker 4 You still got to go Chiefs, though, right? Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Eagles.

Speaker 1 Eagles. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I would say Chiefs.

Speaker 1 And now more so than ever, the Niners, because Brock Purdy's being doubted. Sam Darnold's playing this week, or we think.

Speaker 1 We think he is, yeah. Brock Purdy's being doubted.
Nobody roots for a team harder than a team with a guy that's being doubted. Yeah.
And Brock Purdy's the guy.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I would say the Niners are on my Americas team. The Vikings, they were frisky as a motherfucker that night.
They might be.

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Speaker 1 Okay, I want to talk about some teams right now.

Speaker 1 And we just mentioned the Chiefs. You were in Kansas City for, was it a year? Two years? Year.
Year.

Speaker 1 How the fuck is Andy Reid this good at coaching?

Speaker 1 We've been saying for the last few weeks, the Chiefs have reached their final form of the Dynasty Patriots and that they brought back McCole Hardman.

Speaker 1 They're also winning with defense now, and Patrick Mahomes isn't doing these shot plays.

Speaker 1 They've morphed into a different team and they just keep winning. They didn't miss a beat.
But if you look at these Chiefs, first Chiefs five years ago, they are playing completely different ball.

Speaker 1 One thing that stands out to me about all successful coaches in this league is they all have that X factor. Whatever it is that they do, they do it very well.

Speaker 1 Andy Reid understands the offensive line position as well as anybody I've played around. He also gives the keys to the car to Andy Heck, who is the offensive line coach.

Speaker 1 And that's a name that doesn't get talked about enough for the Chiefs, but he's the run game coordinator as well. Andy Reid's in charge of screens.
He talks to the linemen.

Speaker 1 He knows the lineman better than anybody.

Speaker 1 Better than anybody not named Andy Heck. Right.

Speaker 1 Which most head coaches don't do that. They're not that involved with the offensive line.
The offensive line is the biggest group in numbers on the football field.

Speaker 1 With the Chiefs, they're the most talented group on the football field. Tackle to tackle.
The inside three, they're great. Andy Reid knows that that's the strength of the football team.

Speaker 1 But in addition to that, they have Patrick Mahomes. Yeah.
In addition to that, they have Travis Kelsey. And to your point, Steve Spagnola's defense, 21 points or less in each of the first seven games.

Speaker 1 They look Patriots-ish where they find new ways to win each year. It's crazy.
You say, how are they going to do it? They don't have a receiver. Well, they got a great defense.
Right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Now their defense, you know, maybe their defense struggle. Well, watch Rashi Rice go put up 140 in one of these games.
Nicole Hardman's back. That's great.
Huge punt return.

Speaker 1 He's a guy that knows how to press the buttons on his team. He understands personalities.
He lets you go. One thing he always said was, Monday through Saturday, those are my days.
Sunday's your day.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. And I was like, huh, it makes sense.
His guys have fun. Yeah.
His guys have fun and they win.

Speaker 4 Do you think sometimes he gets too cute with it? Especially in the red zone.

Speaker 4 Or does he get bored?

Speaker 1 Especially when he's playing.

Speaker 4 It's kind of the same thing. When you're playing against the Broncos on a Thursday night game and then you're running like

Speaker 1 crazy double. Is that Andy Reid or is that Matt Naggy calling the plays in Denver?

Speaker 4 Well, because I feel like Andy did that before Matt Naggy was calling the plays.

Speaker 1 Do you think that this recent game was a Matt Nagy special?

Speaker 4 Which one?

Speaker 1 Are you talking about the three wasted opportunities in the red area?

Speaker 4 That probably a Matt Naggy special. Yeah.
But I have seen a lot of Andy Reid doing that type of stuff, especially in the red zone where they're doing like a fake shovel pass, pass to a tight end.

Speaker 4 Look,

Speaker 1 there's a creative threshold, though, where it goes from creative to cute. And I think we can agree on that, where it's like, oh, wow, that was really creative.

Speaker 4 I'll tell you what the threshold is because I know exactly where that line is. If it works, it's creative.
If it doesn't, it's cute. 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 100%.
And we saw that with Nags in Green Bay. There was too many cute plays that didn't work.

Speaker 1 And then obviously they have the people and the installation right in Kansas City where they can say, the person making the decision on this cute play is number 15, Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 The ball's in good hands. I think it can actually not work and still be creative if it looked like it could have worked.
Yeah, if you've got a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Like, if a guy's open and you just missed the pass,

Speaker 1 it doesn't, it's dumb and cute whenever you get like a test. And the defense has to cover it.
Yeah, when you get tackled for a loss, it's instant like you got too cute.

Speaker 4 Also, if there's a pancake on the play, if somebody on the offensive line like steamrolls somebody, then it's not cute anymore, even if it is like a double reverse pass back to Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 That was was powerful points. I love that group.
That offensive line is awesome.

Speaker 1 They should get all the kudos that they can because everybody else gets talked about on that team, whether it's Chris Jones or Mahomes or Kelsey or Taylor Swift.

Speaker 1 I mean, the reality of it is you got to beat people up front. And Creed Humphrey, Trey Smith, Joe Tooney, and then Taylor and Smith, their tackles, they've been great this year.

Speaker 1 And it was widely publicized all the penalties on Jawan Taylor at the right tackle spot. But they're figuring out what's legal in terms of a lineman.

Speaker 4 Okay, so I like where we're going with this because when we talk about offensive linemen on the show, we usually

Speaker 4 try to spread out a little bit, but like every other show, we'll talk about the left tackle or the right tackle. That's usually what we key on.

Speaker 4 Give us your top interior linemen on the offensive side of the ball in football.

Speaker 1 Well, I think if we're going to go group, I'm going to go Kansas City. Okay.

Speaker 1 Group is Kansas City because you're only as strong as the guy next to you.

Speaker 1 I truly believe in that. And you mentioned tackles.
That's great. One group of guards that I really like, or at least the guard-tackle combination, is in Chicago.

Speaker 1 I love it. Yeah.
I love it. They've got a guy named Tevin Jenkins who's an ass kicker.
He is a mood setter. If he can run healthy, he's legit.
Darnell Wright has been awesome.

Speaker 1 Has been great for the Chicago Bears.

Speaker 1 And you put a big tight end next to him, and now you have a three-man wall where you can just wash the backside of a run run play. And I think that's really underappreciated.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you asked about the inside, guys.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we need to pay more respect to the guards.

Speaker 1 Bill Callahan's group. The OGs.
Bill Callahan's group is great. He's a great coach.
He is a great coach. Everywhere he's been.
How'd you guys let him out of the building? I don't know.

Speaker 4 I don't know how we let him out. It feels like everywhere that Bill Callahan goes, the running game improves instantaneously.

Speaker 1 Wait, so I have a question because Bill Callahan's a phenomenal coach, and we were making this argument the other day that Dante Scarnackia might actually be the GOAT, not Brady or Belichick, because every time he coached the Patriots' offensive line, they were incredible.

Speaker 1 How are those two guys better than everyone else? Like, what is it, the technique or how they're teaching? Because you'd think a coach is a coach is a coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah, obviously a head coach, there's a lot involved, but like all these coaches in the NFL, the offensive line coach, they clearly know what they're doing, but there's still a couple guys that are that much better than everyone else.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you the difference? Yeah, I'm very interested in this because Dante Skarnackia.

Speaker 1 I had a visit with all these coaches. Okay.
Pre-draft. Skarneckia,

Speaker 1 it was like.

Speaker 1 Old school. It reminded me of like a scene from Rudy where they're in there watching film.
You know what I mean? Like old, old school football. I mean, they still run hills after practice.

Speaker 1 They hit a heavy bag after practice. People hate going to work in New England because they work so hard.

Speaker 1 Bill Callahan, I have my visit with him and Frank Pollack, who is the O-line coach in Cincinnati, I believe now. They were in Dallas together with Zach Martin.

Speaker 1 This is right before Zach Martin got drafted.

Speaker 1 They had Tyron Smith and a few other guys.

Speaker 1 But Bill Callahan pulls up a play.

Speaker 1 He says, all right, we're running this protection. You know, it's third down.
This is the linebacker we're responsible for. Who are you blocking?

Speaker 1 He essentially said, this guy comes down. Who are you blocking? And he clapped like a second later and he said, you can't play for me.

Speaker 1 Damn. Because you didn't answer right away? Right away.
He said, quarterbacks, hit, you can't play for me. Oh, I love that.
He left, and I did the rest of the meeting with Frank Paul. Damn.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. So to your question, I would say this.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have any room for bullshit. Right.
Yeah. If you play for Bill Callahan, just like if you play for Bill Belichick, you better know what you're doing.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Big cat, what's the promo code for Muggsy?

Speaker 1 Take. Yeah.
No, he got it. He can't play for me.
No, he got it. He got it.
He can play. I actually was off slides.
Yeah. I've said it before.
Jawan Taylor. That's such a, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 Like, all right, my right-hand guy's going to handle this. You're an idiot.
There's some coaches that work you to death. There's some coaches that expect you to have such a high football acumen.

Speaker 1 And I think Callahan's one of those guys. And I wish I got that question right.
Oh, man. Did you answer it like after he left the room? Like Costanza with the jersey?

Speaker 1 I think I still don't know how to block.

Speaker 1 He was right. I think I just said the three, the three technique.
Yeah. All right.
So another offensive line question related.

Speaker 1 Tyson Bagent is obviously starting for the Bears right now. Justin Fields injured.
I feel bad for Justin Fields because it feels like no matter what, it's not going to work out. But

Speaker 1 this guy on Twitter, who I've mentioned before, Robert Schmitz, he was the one who posted the initial video of Justin Fields taking a little bit slower in his drop backs.

Speaker 1 Tyson Badgent is a lot quicker in his drop backs. How important is that for an offensive line, even like a fraction of a second, does that make you guys that much happier?

Speaker 1 Where it's like he's getting to his spot so quickly, we're going to be okay. It's not necessarily the getting to the spot quickly, which does matter.

Speaker 1 I mean, you want to get to your spot quickly as a quarterback so that you can then what step up or deliver the ball or get out of the pocket.

Speaker 1 And seeing Bajant be on time, we always hear people say on schedule. Tyson Bajant was on schedule.
There was nothing that he saw that thwarted his focus away from the guys down the field.

Speaker 1 And you know, one of my pet peeves is when people say he keeps his eyes downfield. It's like, where the fuck are you going to look? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 He not only keeps his eyes downfield, he can make the throws when he's going outside the numbers, when he's forced off of his spot. He gets to his spot so quickly.

Speaker 1 that he can see the danger coming if somebody gets beat and get off his spot quickly.

Speaker 1 If you are oozing back to your spot then it becomes a race to get out of there he has his feet planted early and the important thing is the ball's out yeah the ball's out dude and i remember when russell wilson was playing in seattle and he was doing great but he was running around like nobody's business i would have hated to have played offensive line for russell wilson then I would have given up a ton of sacks.

Speaker 1 Right. If, you know, when I played for Cutler, I knew Cutler was going to stand in the pocket and throw the ball.
It may have been to the other team.

Speaker 1 It may have been to our team, but at at the end of the day, no sacks. We're all happy.
Right. So if I'm an offensive lineman, I'm happy to see what Tyson Bajin's done for Chicago.

Speaker 1 And I know the receivers like him. And you can hear the guys on the sideline saying, man, this kid's got moxie.
Yeah. There's something about him.
He's got some swag.

Speaker 1 I'm sure that he will have like his, you know.

Speaker 1 shoe-dropping moment where it's like, oh, yeah, this is why he's Division II and was undrafted.

Speaker 1 But it is crazy to watch the side-by-side video of him, just how quickly he gets back, and how the offensive line can just look that much better.

Speaker 1 I I think we should, I wish we had ability, I wish we had brains to do advanced stats to be able to discern exactly when it is the quarterback's fault because you guys get screwed.

Speaker 1 Like, Russell Wilson is a perfect example. He, he,

Speaker 1 he, he would get sacked a lot, but a lot of them weren't his, like, a lot of them weren't his offensive line's fault. It was him running into sacks.

Speaker 1 I think after five seconds, it should be considered a tackle for loss. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 4 Purely based on, yeah, because there's no chance that you can block a guy from five seconds. Right.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like we watched Jalen Hurts or, no, who was it? Lamar Jackson run around for 10 seconds.

Speaker 1 10 seconds, and then these DBs are supposed to cover for 10 seconds. That shouldn't be a completion against me.
Yeah, you're right. We need to start doing this.
We're saying advanced analytics.

Speaker 1 Our opinions on, yeah, it's advanced analytics, but it's slightly opinionated.

Speaker 4 It's just strictly the eye test that we give it, but we keep track of it. Yeah.
How many belong to the quarterback, how many belong to the O-line?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the Sam Howell conversation we had this morning. I mean, Sam Howell is on record to be, and everybody said this, Sam Howell's on record to break the sack record.
By a lot, by the way,

Speaker 4 by a shitload.

Speaker 1 But stick with me here. The Washington Commanders, they are top five in the NFL with time before pressure.
Right. Which tells me that Sam Howe is just not fucking throwing the ball.

Speaker 4 If you look at his sack numbers,

Speaker 4 the time in pocket before he gets sacked is

Speaker 4 astronomical. It's like one of the high, he spends more time in the pocket than any other quarterback in the NFL.

Speaker 4 All the other guys that are closely grouped in that position with him that spend like, I don't know, like three to six seconds before a sack occurs, they're some of the least sacked quarterbacks in the NFL because they're moving around, they're keeping their eyes downfield.

Speaker 4 But Sam gets sacked a ton when he spends a long time in the pocket. So I kind of agree with you.

Speaker 4 It's not just the O-line.

Speaker 1 Against the defense, too. The defense is

Speaker 4 defense is not great. Actually, the Commanders might be America's team now that I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 they are America's team. They used to be great a while ago, and everyone's lost faith in them.
Guy named Harris, the guy that runs the show is always asleep. Ron Rivera.

Speaker 4 Can we do something about Rivera? What is he doing? What is Rivera doing on the sidelines? Is he coaching?

Speaker 1 I think he's coaching. I think he's just, you know, he's dealing with personalities probably.
Like you see last week, Jonathan Allen's frustrated. I love that, though.
I love it too.

Speaker 1 And I love it too. And I've been in Jonathan Allen's shoes and I could totally have, you know, I can empathize with what he's going through.
But, you know, I look at this defense.

Speaker 1 And they are just, you know, they're forged from steel up front. They're a group that has way too much talent to be doing the things that they're doing, giving up the points that they're giving up.

Speaker 1 And I think a lot of it falls on Jack Del Ria. You can't just have four guys and expect those four guys to get home.
In this iteration of the NFL, you need to manufacture pressure.

Speaker 1 You need to dial up blitzes. You need to put the pressure on the offense.

Speaker 4 Yeah, when we were blitzing a couple weeks ago, it was working. We were getting home.
We were putting pressure on them. And there are some times when that front four will get pressure.

Speaker 4 Like Chase Young has been better this year.

Speaker 1 You're going to get home with him.

Speaker 4 Montez Sweat is a great player. Jonathan Allen, Payne, I think those guys are all very good players.
I don't put the blame blame on them for this.

Speaker 4 I think that in the schemes that they're running, they're asking their rookie cornerback, Emmanuel Forbes, who's been benched now,

Speaker 4 to

Speaker 4 stand out there and cover elite guys one-on-one. And he's too aggressive to do that if pressure isn't getting home.

Speaker 4 If a guy's like trying to jump a route, but your defensive end isn't going to get to the quarterback for another second, that's going to result in giving up 150 yards to A.J. Brown every single time.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's just bad.
It's bad on the defensive side.

Speaker 1 Okay, so off of this,

Speaker 1 dumb question. Very dumb question.
And you don't have to name names, but you've obviously been in a lot of locker rooms.

Speaker 1 When a coach has lost the locker room, is it something that like every player says it to each other?

Speaker 4 Like, yeah, I think he's lost it. I think he's lost the locker room.

Speaker 1 Do you guys like send a message around? Yeah, I mean, where's the locker room? Yeah, hey, anyone's in the locker room? You're looking underneath the couch, locker's on a milk cart.

Speaker 4 I just saw John Fox looking around, lifting up, like lifting up rugs. I think he's trying to find the locker room.

Speaker 1 You know, there was uh

Speaker 1 too many to remember, too many locker rooms lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're like the... Are you a locker room thief? Were you taking it with the best? You're like the Bermuda Triangle of locker rooms.

Speaker 1 I was like the toilet that gets passed down through a shitty house that gets sold to another owner. I'm just like, yeah, you can shit on me.
I'll be here.

Speaker 4 Cal's got seven locker rooms over the course of his career. Just sit down.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's

Speaker 1 you always, as a player, feel like... You can win football games.
I mean, regardless of how bad your team is. That's why they made a movie any given Sunday.
It's real. I mean, that's real.

Speaker 1 But you can also feel like you have a coach that's going to put you in bad situations. Right, right.
And,

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean, it's tough. Playing in the NFL is tough.
You have to have so many things right, from quarterback to line play to defense to the staff.

Speaker 1 And we just didn't get it right in Chicago for a long time. We had some things right.
Yeah, pieces. We had pieces right.
There were years where we had a great defense.

Speaker 1 There were years where we had an explosive offense, but we couldn't get complimentary. Yeah, all that.
I love complimentary football. It's my favorite.

Speaker 1 And to your point, when you do get to that point in the season where you're like, we're fucked. Yeah.
It's like, who are we going to get? Yeah, right. You kind of get excited.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Like new faces. We don't want to be the number one pick, but who are we going to get? Yeah, who are we going to get?

Speaker 4 Do you get a little boost towards the end of the season if you know that the coach isn't coming back where it's like, okay, now it's time to play for my job? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've got to go out there and I have to perform individually. Like, is there, can you feel that difference when guys start thinking about their own futures with the team as opposed to the team?

Speaker 1 Every day in the NFL is an opportunity to invest in your future.

Speaker 1 I remember when Akeem Hicks first showed up to Chicago and I was like, I was doing the math, like Akeem Hicks, okay, this guy's a monster. I played him when he was in New Orleans and he was a load.

Speaker 1 I had to ice my neck for like three weeks. But he came to the building and it became evident to me that practice wasn't going to be as easy for me.

Speaker 1 And I said, there's two ways I can go about this. I can challenge this motherfucker every day and we can both get better.
Or I can just be the guy that brother-in-law is it in practice.

Speaker 1 And we're not going to get any better. And our team's definitely not going to get any better.
Akeem and I made a decision to go at it every day. Our lockers were right next to each other.

Speaker 1 We hated each other in practice. But when we got to the locker room, we shared a can of dip.
We were buddies.

Speaker 1 I think that's the decision that all these guys in all these locker rooms have to make. Like, I think about Denver and all these great players that they're potentially going to ship out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that's what I said. This is going to be a showcase game for those guys.
Yeah, against the Chiefs. Yeah.
This is a free agency tryout. This is a trade tryout.
It's combined.

Speaker 1 That's what the end of the season is, but it just, it weighs on you when it happens every year. Yeah.
Year after year. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 How sweet is it when you sign a big contract, though?

Speaker 1 It's fucking awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you're sitting there eating your oatmeal and they're like

Speaker 1 six-year, $50 million,

Speaker 1 and the guy sitting next to you is like, hi, buddy, that's you, buddy.

Speaker 1 It makes all the shitty days worth it.

Speaker 1 But then you get your money and you're like, but we're still like, we still can't win.

Speaker 4 I still feel bad in the words sometimes.

Speaker 4 When you got the contract, did you cry?

Speaker 1 I don't know if I cried. I was just juiced.
I was just juiced.

Speaker 1 It was funny because it was after my third year.

Speaker 1 And the Bears

Speaker 1 don't extend people early. And I remember.

Speaker 4 That's a good way to do business.

Speaker 1 Jalen Johnson's going through that right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pay that guy. Yes.
Pay Jalen Johnson. Lose the orange sleeves.
Pay Jalen Johnson.

Speaker 1 But I remember I was in my, I had made three straight Pro Bowls. They had just moved me to tackle in my third year.
And I was like, so the fuckery is beginning. Right.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I had a five-year deal with a club option for a fifth year because I was a first-rounder. And I remember my dad said to me, he was like, things are going great.

Speaker 1 You're doing awesome. You're blocking your ass off, but you got to get your deal done now.
He was like, it's not about the big number. It's about the guaranteed number.
Get it done now.

Speaker 1 And I remember being like, they've never done a deal. And my agent at the time, Marvin Demoff, did a great job and made it happen.

Speaker 1 And I remember we went to joint practice and practiced against the Patriots. And they had Jamie Collins, who at the time was the Akeem Hicks of linebackers.

Speaker 1 He's an ass kicker. And I remember Joey, our cap guy, was on the sideline with Pace before practice, before the week of practice.

Speaker 1 I walked up to him and this was right when we were opening contract talks. I walked up to Joey and I said, how much does he make? And he told me, I said, fucking watch this.

Speaker 1 And the whole week, I was like, just trying to find Jamie Collins. Oh, my God.
And I got signed soon after that. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 And, but but the point of this is you sign early and then you get hurt, you're still taken care of.

Speaker 1 If you don't sign early, then I could be looking at three straight Pro Bowls and just living on a rookie deal the rest of my life. Right.

Speaker 1 So kudos to my dad, who had the foresight to be like, no, no, no, get it done. He's a smart guy.

Speaker 4 Do guys ever like look sideways at a teammate that's holding out, that's making a big deal in the media about their contract? Or is it usually just like, hey, we understand the business we're in.

Speaker 4 We'll support a guy. Yeah, it'd be great to have him out here practicing with us.

Speaker 1 I don't really remember anybody holding out. Do you? No, and it does seem like the one thing that all the players are aligned with every locker room is like, never talk about someone else's money.

Speaker 1 Leave. Yeah.
Stay out of the.

Speaker 4 It happened a little bit in Kansas City, though, with Chris Jones this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah.
Well, I wasn't there for that, but I think everybody in that locker room understands that Chris Jones is the reason for the season on defense.

Speaker 1 And they're like, hey, whatever Sack Nation wants, Sak Nation gets. And he got it, and he's come back.
He's had a sack in every game.

Speaker 4 His name's Sack Nation. That's him.

Speaker 1 That's like, he's the, you know, he's the commander of. Oh, I like this.

Speaker 4 I thought that was because his ball sack ruptured through the

Speaker 4 team.

Speaker 1 It would be the teen team. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Did you have a problem with that, with that, Kyle?

Speaker 1 Mine doesn't hang. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yours didn't never broke through a pair of.

Speaker 1 I hear the word flop a lot, and I'm like, where? It was cold in that locker room. AC works in Washington.
And I got to say, you know, it's frustrating. And we did the episode.

Speaker 1 I remember I called you and I was like, guys, we got to do an episode.

Speaker 1 I got to get in front of you.

Speaker 1 You literally, you were like, it was actually, I felt so proud that we had made it to a point where it's like, if a dick, accidental dick pic comes out, we are the PR team. Was that what it was

Speaker 1 that I saw?

Speaker 1 You know, it was like PR team. All right, we got to call, we got to get our cracks out, you know, our aces on this.
We're going to call BFT and Big Cat. I mean, that's awful.

Speaker 1 I mean, think about it, though. It's like you're one Google away from seeing a

Speaker 1 stack of nickels.

Speaker 1 So I just think about,

Speaker 1 I think about all the people that never wore compression shorts. Never sweat through a pair of pants.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You never ran around for four hours. Yeah.
You had athlete dick. I'm no world beater, but I will say, you know.
Yeah, that was about a core representation.

Speaker 1 It was. Look,

Speaker 4 that's one thing I think a lot of women don't understand is at any given moment of any given day, your penis can fluctuate wildly.

Speaker 1 Yes. Wildly.

Speaker 1 Right now, I'm a Tic Tac. Right now, sitting talking to you.
I think I'm an indoor animal.

Speaker 1 Can you just announce our dick sizes of the given moment?

Speaker 4 I actually think I'm having a good dick moment right now.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I wore the wrong jeans for a good dick moment.

Speaker 4 Bugsy jeans actually help with that. Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 They do.

Speaker 4 They gave a nice little cradle on.

Speaker 1 Paige jeans needs to fix their

Speaker 1 cocksage.

Speaker 1 I have a question about podcasting life because obviously you and your brother doing a great job. Greenlight.
PFT and I have both been on multiple times. Awesome podcast.

Speaker 1 Maybe not exactly about the podcast, but you guys are playing in the softball league. You won.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up. That's fucked up.
If I was playing in like adult men's softball and the Long Brothers show up and you're just ripping

Speaker 1 effort, guys, we're not athletes. But you were ripping balls down the line, big lefty hitter.

Speaker 4 Didn't you get drafted by the MLB?

Speaker 1 Yeah. White Socks.

Speaker 4 You just said, we're not athletes.

Speaker 1 I was a pitcher.

Speaker 4 You were a professional baseball.

Speaker 1 The one thing they don't let me do in softball is throw hard. And I was a left-hander through 97.
So I'm like, I'm playing one-handed out here.

Speaker 1 Have there been moments where guys have have been like, wait, this is not what I signed up for?

Speaker 1 No, because, you know, if you're from an area like Virginia, you understand that baseball is one of those things that everybody plays.

Speaker 1 And if you're not playing lacrosse, you have a baseball bat in your hand. And there's a lot of skilled dudes.

Speaker 1 And I don't know if you know this about softball, but I mean, there's kind of a ceiling to the shit you're doing. It's true.
It's true. The old guy who knows where to place the ball can be.

Speaker 1 When you're playing a team with a bunch of roofing shirts and baseball pants, you're like, we could be in trouble here today. Right.
Right.

Speaker 1 You know, when six of the wives are behind the home plate smoking sigs you're like these guys are good dude it's always it's always when the opposing team has like a whole posse there and it's the biggest point of their week i remember prime time yeah when we would play and it would be like oh shit they got a cooler they got kids there it's like these people this is their day nine o'clock first pitch there's babies yeah right you're always in trouble with that out

Speaker 1 yeah some of the wives have just like a little bit of face paint underneath their eyes like their moms at the little world series when they show up you don't invite your whole family out if you suck at my father-in-law came one time and you know he you know i was like i can't wait to we went and played golf that day and i was like well i didn't hit it well at golf i can't wait till you see me hit a softball you know what i mean like it's way different it's great i hit it every time i i think i ground it out twice and had two infield pot flies and he was like you guys aren't very good

Speaker 1 so like i'm a firm believer in don't bring your fucking family because you lie about yeah right right you'd be like i crushed it today how is your golf game going i've seen some of you did you quit i quit what made you quit uh i reached out to frankie borrelli about playing in the barstool classic and he it was just i got ghosted that's that's bullshit frankly that's the pinnacle of my career would be potentially losing some balls in the barstool classic would you make a comeback if frankie by the grace of god permitted you to play yeah i might have to go through like rigs or something yeah well i mean we're gonna have a simulator here and you're gonna be back i'm a huge so i'm a simulator golfer that's what i am yeah you're always 10 steps from a refrigerator

Speaker 1 you know what i mean or Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things you can have in the sim that'll that'll make your day a lot more enjoyable. Are you still race car driving? I do.
I do some of the simulator stuff on iRacing.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of fun. I haven't done it as much.

Speaker 1 Dad life has taken some of those hours. Yeah, you really feel like a shithead when you are playing video games as a dad.
And you're like, and I do feel like a shithead. Yeah, real shithead.

Speaker 1 Real shithead.

Speaker 4 I feel bad in my airplane simulator when Blake is in the next room just whining at me. Like he wants to play.
And I'm like, I can't. I'm being a bad dog.

Speaker 1 How is Blake? He's huge.

Speaker 4 He's like 60 pounds now,

Speaker 4 almost six months old.

Speaker 1 What was your size?

Speaker 4 That's nice, that's funny, it's funny. Actually, no, I think that's a compliment because I've been feeling kind of fat recently.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've been feeling

Speaker 1 fat.

Speaker 4 Thank you. I appreciate that.
Uh, but the shirtless picture of us, me, big cat, and Jersey Jerry, behind behind Max on the couch, came out. There's just a lot of unflattering angles.

Speaker 4 You know how the internet is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're mean. It happens, it's vest, it's vest season for guys with tits.
Yes, so yeah, layers, sweatshirt season. It's my favorite day of the year when that temperature drops.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, you won't see. Even if I'm sweating, I'll keep the vest.
Yeah, you won't see the contours of my body for six months. Nope.
This rules. Yeah.
All right, last question.

Speaker 1 This has been awesome. Kyle, you're the best.
You will be back a few times. So also, well, I guess this is going to come out after, but when Kyle does come, he's going to stream with us as well.

Speaker 1 So we're going to watch Thursday Night Football together.

Speaker 4 We should ask him that. So what's your official prediction for Thursday Night Football? Oh.

Speaker 1 The Bills are going to win. Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is going out after. Bills are going to win at home.
The Bills won. If it's going out after.
They already won. The Bills won.
Dominated. Without Ed Oliver?

Speaker 1 I think Ed Oliver is not playing.

Speaker 4 Okay. As first reported by Kyle Wong.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 yeah, the Bills are going to win. Okay.
Josh can't look. Josh and those guys can't look the way they've looked for a number of weeks.
Three weeks in a row. No.
Yeah. Just can't happen.

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Speaker 1 So tell me if I'm stupid.

Speaker 1 The Dolphins

Speaker 1 have a game against the Patriots this week. They have a game against the Chiefs next week.
The Dolphins are on Fraud Watch. We put them on Fraud Watch.

Speaker 1 Is there such a thing as a look-ahead game in the NFL?

Speaker 1 I know it exists in college. If there ever was one, it's going to be this one for Miami who's got to travel across an ocean and play against the best team in the world.
Right. So I would say yes.

Speaker 1 But the issue with Dolphins is just be patient. Take what the defense is giving you.

Speaker 1 Don't try to do too much because you know New England's going to be laying in wait. Yeah.
Because I just, I love those spots. I mean, college, it really does work every single time.

Speaker 1 If you're just like, oh, they got a big game next week. Okay, cool.
I'm going to fade them this week. Yeah.
But it doesn't, it's too much buttoned up professional.

Speaker 1 professionalism in the NFL to not have look-ahead games. Yeah, I mean, you're reminded too much of what the task is at hand, I would say.
Right. So, the college coaches need to do that more.

Speaker 1 I also just love fading a college team after they have a big win because you just know they're going to party non-stop. Yeah.
Did you? Colorado

Speaker 1 all year. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Did you ever go overseas?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did. I got fired on my way back from London.
What do you mean? I played like shit, and I had to sit across from Nags and his wife, and they were essentially like... Is it the Raiders game?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hey, I'm going to pee my pants.
Can I go pee really? Yeah, yeah. All right.
Well, we're ending the interview. Kyle Long is the best.

Speaker 1 You started moving, and I was like, the only problem is we don't know where the bathrooms are because this office is. Oh, yeah, you have to go like around.
All right, Shane, get him to a bathroom.

Speaker 1 Kyle Long, everyone. Thank you so much, Kyle.

Speaker 1 And he just started moving. I was like, I think he's going to pee himself.

Speaker 1 So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country-fried turkey.

Speaker 10 And, Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 10 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 Okay, Fire Fest of the week. Henry, you've been hungover since Monday.

Speaker 7 I've been hungover since Monday, although I did, I went to a Black Ox game.

Speaker 7 I've been kind of weaning myself off, and by weaning myself off, it's just like having a few beers every night, so I'm not just dead.

Speaker 4 That's the right strategy.

Speaker 4 So we got the weekend.

Speaker 7 We're at the weekend. Friday, we're at the weekend.

Speaker 7 That's why I was giving myself total.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, next week. So let's talk about it real quick, Hank, because I feel like this is...
You've had this before. You turned 30 this summer.

Speaker 1 It's a bitch. Yeah.
It's a bitch. When you drink for a full weekend and then you don't feel normal until like Thursday afternoon.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, these were, these were, you know, two of my two best friends getting married.
So they're late nights with the boys, travel mix in the middle of it.

Speaker 7 And then obviously with the new office and stuff, there's been a lot of lot going on. So

Speaker 7 it's bad. I mean, it all Monday, all Tuesday, like I was just, I was just in a fog.
I'm still kind of in.

Speaker 4 You do have the only cure for it.

Speaker 7 Max cured me. I mean, there was a lot of good stuff happening, though.
Like, Max and the Phillies losing. Oh, wow.
I was disappointed. It kind of like content-wise.

Speaker 7 I was like, yes, this content's so good. I'm happy for us.

Speaker 4 The Max Awana?

Speaker 1 That that's a good one. Oh, we got so high off the Maxiwana.
We hotboxed this.

Speaker 4 This office is amazing.

Speaker 7 Being here finally is amazing. Obviously, there's a lot to come, but that's all exciting stuff.
Oh, we're going to come.

Speaker 4 We're going to come hard. It's come already a little bit.
We come. It's like pre.

Speaker 1 It is really a dream.

Speaker 7 It's unreal. It's just

Speaker 7 we're so close. And I'm not going to say we're so close, but so far, but it's like once everything is fully done and finished, we're going to be.

Speaker 1 Golf simulator going in on Monday? Buzzing, yeah.

Speaker 4 Hank's going to be working so hard in the golf simulator. So hard.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited.

Speaker 7 I'm so excited. Going to Madison this weekend.
Super excited about that. What else are you doing?

Speaker 4 What are you doing tomorrow, Hank?

Speaker 7 Probably going to come here for a little bit.

Speaker 4 And then what?

Speaker 7 Maybe golf.

Speaker 1 Oh. Wait, but what month are we in?

Speaker 4 It's October. It's September.

Speaker 7 September was a no-golf month.

Speaker 1 No, I know, but we were doing once the office opens, we're like working, working, working, working.

Speaker 1 So that way we can golf on Fridays in the summer, except for the one Friday you owe us for week seven.

Speaker 7 Office isn't open.

Speaker 1 Where are we sitting right now?

Speaker 7 We can't, half of the office isn't open. We can't produce content from the office besides this podcast.
Except for this. If you guys want to come record tomorrow, I'm down.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Great. What time?

Speaker 1 9 a.m.

Speaker 1 I was thinking more like 2,

Speaker 1 2 o'clock.

Speaker 1 Hank will be busy at that point. Good luck at your golf game.
Thank you. Yeah, good luck at your golf game.
Don't be me.

Speaker 1 Are you golfing with him? I did it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Hank and I play quick 18.

Speaker 4 Exactly. We'll get some content out of it.

Speaker 7 And then, yeah, my next. Wow.

Speaker 7 My next Fire Fest, just the sentence itself is what I realized is the true Fire Fest as a 30-year-old.

Speaker 7 I don't have a Halloween costume.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait, where.

Speaker 1 Where are you going to Halloween? I got invited to a Halloween party. Oh, Donnie's.

Speaker 7 I got invited to a Halloween party.

Speaker 1 Shit. I got invited, not really.
Like, someone else told me about it.

Speaker 7 But I kind of want to go.

Speaker 7 But you also can't go to a Halloween party without a Halloween costume. But also, like, I don't want to have a hundred.

Speaker 1 I got an idea for you.

Speaker 7 Harry Potter?

Speaker 1 No. Oh.

Speaker 1 Similar.

Speaker 1 Max, you still got those overalls?

Speaker 1 I could read it in your fucking face.

Speaker 1 You were like, I have an idea.

Speaker 1 I could just see in the side of your eye.

Speaker 1 A great idea.

Speaker 1 Great idea. That is a great idea.
Max, we're going to need those overalls, buddy.

Speaker 8 You're crazy if you don't think I threw those out the second I'm going to get you.

Speaker 1 All right, so that's going to be getting Max. We're going to need your fucking big jumbo pants.
No, you're not getting shit.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to look up. You just showed up and I look ridiculous.

Speaker 4 Philly's overalls.

Speaker 1 Nothing is working.

Speaker 7 I can get the wig, throw some pigtails, and then

Speaker 1 you should do it, Hank.

Speaker 1 And just scream and cry and say you're not crying, but cry.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a great idea. Great idea.

Speaker 7 That's Firefest cured.

Speaker 1 All right, great, great.

Speaker 8 This is bullshit.

Speaker 8 I knew.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT, your firefighter. I'll do what I do for you.

Speaker 4 My Fire Fest, well, we know one of them, which is

Speaker 7 a telephone pole hit by car.

Speaker 4 The other Fire Fest is similar in that I'm having, I'm having a bad week in parking lots in general. So there was that incident that happened on Tuesday.

Speaker 4 On Monday, there's a McDonald's next to my house. I like to stop in sometimes, get a little McCafe going in the morning, maybe get a McMuffin, get a steak, egg, and cheese biscuit sometimes.

Speaker 1 A McCriddle?

Speaker 4 Oh, I love the sauce in McCriddle. Yeah, really good.
I'm like Jerry Jones. I pour extra salt on it.

Speaker 4 But I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car in what I thought was a McDonald's parking spot because it's in a mcdonald's parking lot

Speaker 4 turns out the mcdonald's parking lot is shared with uh i i think another local business and i was not allowed to park my car there i went into the store got my meal came out and there was a giant boot on my car they booted my car in like five minutes i was inside yes

Speaker 1 so i see is this after the accident no it's before it's before the accident

Speaker 4 um so i see the boot on the car right and uh there's a security guy, or he's dressed in a uniform that looks like a police uniform. And he just hands me a slip of paper.

Speaker 4 And it says, like, do not move your car. Call this number.
And the guy just turns around, gets into his car, and drives away. And I was like, I was like, hey, how do I get this boot off my car?

Speaker 4 Like, I got places to be. I'm a mover and a shaker.
How do I get out of this parking lot right now? And he just looks at me. doesn't respond, chooses to not respond, gets in his car and drives away.

Speaker 4 I get into an Uber to go to the office, and I call the number, and the person on the other end says, Yeah, there's supposed to be a second guy in that parking lot that you can pay to get your boot off right away.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 1 Scam.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, wait, what? Because the first guy just got into his car, and either he is unable to speak, or he just chose not to speak to me and left. And they're like, no, you can pay it on site.

Speaker 4 So I go back, and the second person came up, and I was like, What's going on here? Why can't I move my car? How'd you boot? He's like, Yeah, you're not supposed to park here.

Speaker 4 There's a sign over there in the corner that says you're not supposed to park here.

Speaker 7 In the space or in the corner?

Speaker 4 The sign is in the corner. It's not on the space.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 4 It's like, the sign says, like, from this point to that point,

Speaker 1 you can't park here.

Speaker 4 And it's like almost an intentionally small sign. So I asked the guy, I'm like, so how can I get this? And he's like, well, I can take a payment right now.

Speaker 4 And I thought the whole time that this was like Chicago Parking Police. It's not.

Speaker 4 It's like a private company that does like, instead of doing a tow truck, it's a tow truck business that didn't want to have to pay money for a tow truck. Right.

Speaker 4 So they just got like one boot that they just put on people's people's cars. They're like, hey, you owe me $150 to take this boot off.

Speaker 4 So I pay the guy $150, get the boot off, and I'm able to drive away. I'm still like 50% thinking it's just a scam.

Speaker 4 And these people weren't even supposed to be there, and they just show up to parking lots and do this. But they got my money.

Speaker 4 I need to make sure that they don't steal any more of my money because I did pay. They also wanted to see my driver's license.
And I don't know why. Not the police needed to see my driver's license.

Speaker 4 Sounds like a scam. Sounds like I might have gotten hosed on this one.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you you might have gotten this. I just scammed.

Speaker 7 I gave them your card information and all of your name and address.

Speaker 4 I swiped my card. It's the New York address.
I still haven't changed. It'll be bad.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 4 It'll be good eight years before I change my ID again.

Speaker 4 I just got a New York ID.

Speaker 4 So I probably got scammed. Either that or it's just a crock of shit and wasted an entire morning trying to deal with the shit.
But yeah, I'm just having a, I'm having a bad week in parking lots.

Speaker 4 I need to stay out of parking lots for the rest, probably of my entire life.

Speaker 1 That sucks. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Quite a fire fest.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 How are they allowed to do that? They're just allowed to

Speaker 4 walk up to your car and be like, sorry, you can't drive anywhere now.

Speaker 7 I'm sure if you were like a lawyer and could hit them with some information,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 7 Like, you could probably get them to take it off for free, but you'd have to do a lot of haggling.

Speaker 4 A lot of lawyering. Yeah.
Am I insane to think that I could pass the bar exam?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 without studying? Yes.

Speaker 4 That's probably an irrational confidence thing because I'm good at taking tests. I'm not.

Speaker 1 What type of questions do they have? It's very hard. Logic.
It's very very hard. Logic.
Yeah, it's very hard.

Speaker 4 I did two sample questions, and I got them both right.

Speaker 7 Is it just like multiple choice, like crime or no?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Crime or no? Murder. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is it a crime?

Speaker 1 Find $1,000 on the ground. Get it to it.
Give it back. Yeah.
Good answer. Yeah.
No, I think I could.

Speaker 4 I think if I did a bar exam, I could pass all of it except for the essay part.

Speaker 1 You're triggered so many lawyers. 50, I'm pretty sure.
What?

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure the test is 50-50.

Speaker 4 No, it's not. It's like four multiple-choice answers.

Speaker 3 No, I'm saying the like how it's weighted, the scoring, like half of it is multiple choice and half is essay. So essays.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're very bad at the essay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't want to do the essay part because that requires like a lot of detailed explanation of my thoughts.

Speaker 1 But I'm good at... Cite a bunch of cases.

Speaker 4 I'm good at reading a test question and figuring out what they're trying to ask me and then answering it. Like, I'm good at not studying for things.

Speaker 3 They're not studying for the bar. Like, they lock themselves in a library for like yeah, but they might be overthinking it.

Speaker 7 I think PFT is right. Yeah,

Speaker 1 people who go to law school don't

Speaker 1 like a lot of people.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they waste their money. I could pass it right now.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I don't know.
But I like the confidence.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's also no way to prove that you're wrong.

Speaker 4 Do you become a lawyer if you pass a bar exam?

Speaker 7 People don't go to medical school and they save lives all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. CPR.
CPR. You know, CPR?

Speaker 7 I know of it. Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's a fact.

Speaker 1 Okay, my Firefest.

Speaker 4 Think at, could you coach an NFL game right now?

Speaker 1 Not well.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I could be a terrible lawyer right now.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, but no, but you're saying passing a test. Like, if I had to pass a test of coaching an NFL game, I would fail.

Speaker 4 I've watched enough SVU, I think, to pass the bar exam. That's what I'm getting at here.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What are you guys shaking your heads at?

Speaker 3 Max thought he was joking about the bar. I said, no, PFT's been talking about this for weeks.
He really thinks he can pass it.

Speaker 4 He could. The multiple choice bar.

Speaker 1 So then take it. Okay.

Speaker 1 If you're talking about it for multiple weeks, then take it. I'll do it.
I'm going to get signed up. No, you won't.
It's also like two full days. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, it just.

Speaker 7 There's going to be more getting comment there soon enough.

Speaker 1 No, you have to do the whole thing. You can't say only the multiple choice part.

Speaker 4 That's what I just said, though.

Speaker 4 I could not pass the written part.

Speaker 1 But that's part of the bar. Correct.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 I could pass the multiple choice part.

Speaker 1 I could get 200 points on the SATs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, but like, that's not

Speaker 1 doing well on the SATs.

Speaker 4 My entire argument is that

Speaker 4 I think I'm delusional. I understand that I'm probably wrong, but I do, I have a rational confidence that I could pass the multiple choice part.
You're a good writer.

Speaker 7 Don't sell yourself short.

Speaker 4 I don't, but I, it's like open-ended questions.

Speaker 4 I would just turn it back on them. I'd be like, this question is illegitimate.
You have no authority to ask me these questions because I do not recognize you as the bar exam administrator.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I don't have the slightest clue what type of questions could be asked.

Speaker 1 I have no fucking idea. So

Speaker 1 I'm looking it up now.

Speaker 3 I think written is only 30%.

Speaker 4 Oh, so I can get that's a passing grade. But you would have to go perfect.

Speaker 3 It's a hundred. It's 200 multiple choice questions.

Speaker 1 Okay, ready? A man is sitting on a beach chair peacefully and in a relaxed meditative state when a truck racing on the sand ran down a sunbathing elderly person.

Speaker 1 The man said out loud, oh God, look what the truck driver did. The man driving that truck was racing and going about 100 miles per hour.
Someone called 911.

Speaker 1 A woman who is sitting sitting on the beach nearby but facing the other way heard the man's outcry see when the case comes to a trial will the court allow both the man and the woman to testify about the man's utterances

Speaker 1 yes both the man and women uh

Speaker 1 woman and man can testify because it is an excited utterance exception to the hearsay rule that goes to the material issue of the case Yes, because this is not hearsay and it is not being entered for the truth of the statement by either witness, so they can both testify.

Speaker 1 No, neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed for his meditation.

Speaker 1 The woman cannot repeat the utterance of an impaired witness. No, neither can testify because the utterance do not fit any of the exceptions to the hearsay rule.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 4 the answer is

Speaker 4 neither of them can testify.

Speaker 1 Which one? No, neither of them can testify because the utterance do not fit any of the exceptions to the hearsay rule?

Speaker 1 Or no, neither of them can testify because the man was impaired due to being too relaxed?

Speaker 4 I want to say that one, but I don't think that's the right answer. Okay, so I'm going to say D.
I'm going to say, yeah.

Speaker 1 Neither of them can be. Wrong.
Oh, okay. C? A.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 JFC, the last Tuesday and Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's one of 70. Exactly.

Speaker 4 I could go 69 for 70.

Speaker 3 The last Tuesday and Wednesday in February and July.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Illinois bar exam.

Speaker 1 All right. A small town police officer pulled over a driver for speeding.
He believed that the driver was acting irritable and fidgety, but he had no articulable reason to think anything was wrong.

Speaker 1 He searched the car anyway and found two cartons of freshly canned peaches, which were owned by the driver's neighbor and reported stolen off her porch 24 hours earlier.

Speaker 1 Authorities charged him with theft under the state criminal code. His motion to suppress the evidence because of an unlawful search was denied.

Speaker 1 On appeal, with the appellate court, likely reversed the lower court decision, denying the motion to suppress.

Speaker 1 Yes, because the search warrant was unconscious due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car.

Speaker 1 Yes, because when a car is pulled over for speeding, the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search. No, the stop and search were within the normal bounds of proprietary

Speaker 1 for a speeding stop. No, because the driver being fidgety is enough for a probable cause, full search of the vehicle.

Speaker 4 How relaxed was this? This one's pretty easy.

Speaker 7 This is A or B.

Speaker 4 It's A or B. It's no, it's not because

Speaker 4 the driver did not. Can you read me A and and B again?

Speaker 1 Yes, because the search was unconstitutional due to the officer having no probable cause that would justify searching the car.

Speaker 1 Yes, because when a car is pulled over for speeding, the officer must always obtain a search warrant prior to making any search.

Speaker 4 It's A, because he can also search the car if the driver gives him consent to search the car. So I don't know if the guy gave him consent.
A?

Speaker 4 I'm going to say A, but I don't recall any point in that question

Speaker 1 about consent. Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 4 There we go. I'm one for one in my last one.

Speaker 1 You're one for two.

Speaker 4 One for one in my last one.

Speaker 1 All right, last one. Okay.
A pet breeder is in the business of breeding calves at his cattle ranch where he has a stable of prolific cows who are very fertile.

Speaker 1 The newborn calves need constant attention and care. One day, one of the employees inadvertently leaves the fence door open and a newly born calf breaks free and goes to his neighbor's land.

Speaker 1 The breeder went to the neighbor's land to retrieve the calf for its safety and to make sure it was unharmed. However, he was arrested on a trespass charge after entering the land.

Speaker 1 The breeder appealed. Will the court dismiss this charge? Yes, because he had a limited privilege to enter the land to prevent harm to his cattle.

Speaker 1 Yes, because the tender pet doctrine allows temporary entry to retrieve baby animals.

Speaker 4 That's a pretty specific doctrine.

Speaker 1 No, because the neighbor had a right to keep any living chattels that crossed onto his... It says chattels.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's like it's a livestock charge.

Speaker 1 Okay, that crossed onto his land. No, because his status as a breeder made him unqualified for a limited license.

Speaker 4 Okay, so I think this one is also A or B.

Speaker 4 I think you're within your rights to retrieve your wandering livestock. This might be a Hezzie Hay with a.
It might be B because B was, I think, a very specific one.

Speaker 1 Pet doctrine, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go with B.

Speaker 1 A. Okay, well.
That was a Hezzy Hay. One for three.
One for three.

Speaker 4 Well, I narrowed that one down to. Right.

Speaker 1 One for three is not passing.

Speaker 4 I was technically.

Speaker 1 What do you have to get to pass?

Speaker 3 Better than one for three. Listen,

Speaker 4 I'm not here to be a farm lawyer.

Speaker 1 I'm here to be a

Speaker 1 cool lawyer. I think we should actually, what we should do is you should take it.
We can see if we take it, and we'll just, I'll read all the answers on live stream and let people guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sounds good. Let's just do a sub-a-thon.
PFT takes the bar.

Speaker 7 You can do it during the 24 hours. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, see, the thing is, I want to be able to read the, that's part of,

Speaker 4 like, deduce the test and what they're asking. You're right, you're right.

Speaker 1 You have to get. But we could set it up that people can see the question while you're reading it.

Speaker 3 266 out of 400.

Speaker 7 I'll take it during the 24-hour stream.

Speaker 4 Wait, I only have to get 266 out of 400, right?

Speaker 1 That's so many questions.

Speaker 4 Oh, I could do this.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Oh, especially if I studied for it.
Yeah, but that's so many questions. There's a big port.

Speaker 4 If I studied. I took the SATs.

Speaker 7 I literally blacked out halfway through and just did CCCs.

Speaker 7 I could not sit still for that.

Speaker 1 Wait, your

Speaker 1 form declaration is you could pass the bar multiple choice portion.

Speaker 4 Only. Yeah, if I studied, I could definitely do it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 And then I'd be all your lawyers.

Speaker 1 Well, no, because

Speaker 4 I'd sue everyone.

Speaker 1 The The multiple choice. You could be a lawyer, but you have to, every piece of advice you give has to be in multiple choice.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd ask the judge.

Speaker 4 Objection, Your Honor.

Speaker 1 Can you read it? Why am I objecting? A? Yeah, the witness rephrase. Because I didn't pass the full bar.

Speaker 4 Witness rephrase to A, B, C, D, or E, all of the above. Yeah.

Speaker 8 This is the best Morgan and Morgan segment we've ever done.

Speaker 1 It is. It is.
All right. My Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 I haven't been sleeping. I had, so we've been doing a shitload of stuff.
Haven't been sleeping. Tuesday night, we got home after we all smoked that maxiwana, and it was fucking good.

Speaker 1 And I went to bed, and I, so every time I get home, Stella's sleeping in my spot, and I put her in her dog bed next to me on the floor. And

Speaker 1 all of a sudden,

Speaker 1 four times in the middle of the night. So I went to sleep at one, I'd get up at 6.30.
Four times in that timeframe, the TV just turned on. And I couldn't figure it out.

Speaker 1 And I have a remote on my phone, so I kept on turning it off. So I literally, like, I'd fall asleep, get in deep sleep,

Speaker 1 TV would turn on.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? You have a ghost. Well, no, I woke up the next morning and I was like, Stella, you're ready to go out.
And she got up, and the remote was literally under her ass.

Speaker 1 So every time she moved, so I just didn't sleep that night.

Speaker 1 Not her fault, my fault, but that sucked.

Speaker 4 That's the worst when you're behind on sleep and then you're expecting a particular night to be an awesome night of sleep. Right.
Full eight, and then it just doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have full eight. I don't know what a full eight means.
I haven't gotten full eight a long time. You haven't been fillated? No, I have not been folated in a long time.

Speaker 1 My other fire fest is we're going to Madison this weekend. Oh, go.
Anyone who wants to come to the live show, it's going to be an awesome, awesome time.

Speaker 1 It is 4.30 p.m. Kickoff is at 6.30, so you've got more than enough time.
10 North Charter Street. It is a 10-minute walk to Camp Randall.
So come out. It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 But boys, I believe that the Badgers are going to upset and shock the world.

Speaker 1 And I know that this is is how it happens to me where there's no reason for me to believe this other than the fact that ready for this, Jake? 20 years ago this month,

Speaker 1 a freshman big cat stormed the field when Wisconsin, as I think a double-digit underdog, beat number three Ohio State. Whoa, and 20 years later.
20 years later,

Speaker 1 a double-digit underdog is playing number three, Ohio State. Wow.
Yeah, so I'm going to get Chris.

Speaker 3 And what happened the last time you went to Madison for an athletic event?

Speaker 1 We want to share the Big Ten championship.

Speaker 1 What did you do afterwards? I

Speaker 1 stormed the field.

Speaker 3 Won and all your last one storms.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so this is the problem, though, because I don't think they're actually going to win, but I'm going to work myself into a frenzy and being like, yeah,

Speaker 1 it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 What if it does? It's going to be incredible. Hank, do you want to get.
It's Halloween, night game, Camp Randall. Vibes are great.

Speaker 1 Luke Fickle was on the other sideline that night telling Robert Reynolds to choke Jim Sorgi out. I don't know if Luke Fickle actually did that.
It's destiny. It's destiny.

Speaker 1 Hey, do you want to get a quick pump in when we get to Madison?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 4 Strength and condition coach asked us.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 7 I mean, I did say I was off till Tuesday, but I can break it up.

Speaker 1 Just quick pump. Yeah.
Quick pump.

Speaker 1 Let's get juiced up. It's Squatober.
Yeah, just do some squats. Yeah.
Okay. Jake, you're Firefest.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this is pretty well documented, but we haven't talked about it on the show yet. When you guys took your shirts off the other day, I was very uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 It brought brought me back to my days of shirts versus skins where I prayed I was on shirts and

Speaker 1 it was

Speaker 1 hiding in the corner.

Speaker 4 You had the best visual out of all of us, though.

Speaker 3 No, it was bad, too.

Speaker 1 You were, for people who don't

Speaker 1 know the picture, it's on our tour streams. Yeah, on our streams.
I don't know if we could put it in the YouTube, whatever. It's late, so I'm not going to make everyone do more editing.

Speaker 1 But Jake, I've never seen a person sitting while also running away. Yeah, I was

Speaker 1 doing.

Speaker 1 He was running away while sitting.

Speaker 3 And the amount of tweets I got, like, take your shirt off.

Speaker 1 You're the reason the Phillies lost. You are.
You are.

Speaker 3 I apologize to Max because the last two players to get out were named Jake and Marsh.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 So between that and the shirt, it really wasn't my fault.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I said he could blame me.

Speaker 4 You made the right choice, though, because with those couches, there's no good angle you can possibly.

Speaker 1 Also, like, I didn't get sucked up into the peer pressure. You didn't cave.
Yeah. You're your own man.
Getting sucked up in the peer pressure rules.

Speaker 7 Especially when it's tarps off. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, when everyone's like, oh, if your friend tells you to jump off a bridge, we do it. Yeah.
If everyone is.

Speaker 4 What football game was that last year where just a couple guys took their shirts off and by the end of the game the entire section was filled. It was like in the deck with dudes with their shirts off.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Indiana.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, peer pressure gets a bad rap.
Like, peer pressure kind of rocks because it means like all your friends, peers.

Speaker 7 Probably having fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, hey, do this fun thing with us, drugs, whatever. And you're like, oh, no, I don't want to get sucked.
Yeah, I do. And I'm going to have fun with you guys.

Speaker 7 Normally, I wouldn't, but since you asked, Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Peer pressure

Speaker 1 rules. I just kind of got caught up.
Yeah, situation.

Speaker 4 It is cool getting caught up in something.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Getting peer pressure into something. Yeah.
But no, you won't do it. It's also nice like standing

Speaker 1 your ground. No.

Speaker 4 That is a law in Florida. Yes, it is, Jake.

Speaker 1 You're back.

Speaker 4 Castle Doc. Lawyer.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good show, boys.

Speaker 1 We'll see everyone Sunday night. We'll be watching

Speaker 1 the Bears beat the Chargers. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it could happen. Live while we record.

Speaker 1 Hank, have you ever gotten this?

Speaker 7 No, Dan of You.

Speaker 1 Why do you do that? Just say no. Just say no and be all mad.
It's a lawyer 101.

Speaker 7 Direction, redirect. Answer a question with a question.

Speaker 1 Numbers. 18.
17. 27.
Some guy gave it to me outside the laugh factory last night. 8.

Speaker 1 Memes? Just getting three. No.

Speaker 1 What was your number? Take 20, but

Speaker 8 I wanted to take memes's.

Speaker 1 Oh, Shane. Now I'm stuck.

Speaker 1 Is Shane picking? Shane fucked up. Yeah, Shane fucked up.

Speaker 3 Shane and Evan are in the short of my balls category. Okay.

Speaker 1 What'd Shane take? 10.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Memes?

Speaker 1 I'm stuck.

Speaker 1 69. Okay.
Say your numbers again real quick. 8.
17. 27.
69. 3's going to hit.
18.

Speaker 3 Max is 20. Shane is 10.

Speaker 1 I can see 20 just underneath.

Speaker 1 That's too fast.

Speaker 1 Those balls are really flying.

Speaker 8 You have to press it.

Speaker 3 So it's like the tension rises.

Speaker 1 There's going to be 20. Here we go.

Speaker 1 41.

Speaker 1 Let's do one more.

Speaker 1 Let's do one more. Let's just do one more.
Counts? Okay, but we have counts.

Speaker 4 But we have to stop doing two after tonight. Okay.

Speaker 1 We'll do three.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go eight again

Speaker 1 i'll go 27 again counts officially counts we're working the new volume changing is anyone changing uh

Speaker 1 no 69 all right evan oh yeah we didn't have evan evan

Speaker 1 uh 28 28 28 all right 10 8 27 17

Speaker 3 18

Speaker 1 20

Speaker 1 28 and then what was memes 69

Speaker 1 70. Oh, one off me.
70. So close.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll see everyone Monday. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's on my day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love up.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 feel

Speaker 1 the same.

Speaker 1 I'm on sentence, but I'll be stoning away.

Speaker 1 Further than life is okay

Speaker 1 Say after me

Speaker 1 It's not better to be safe It's better to be safe to be safe

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 I'll be on

Speaker 1 without