NFL With Dan Orlovsky, New Studio/Lottery Ball Unveiling, CFB, And Max Is A Loser Again

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Speaker 1 On today's Part of My Take, the brand new Pardon My Take Studio. If you're listening to this and not on the YouTube right now, go to the YouTube, watch the new studio, because we are in it.

Speaker 1 We have the new lottery ball machine. We're going to talk college football.
We have Dan Orlofsky to talk some quarterback play, NFL talk, blog talk.

Speaker 1 We have Jimbo's,

Speaker 1 hot seat, cool throne,

Speaker 1 and the Phillies lost. And Max is sitting on the couch right now.

Speaker 4 We're going to get to that.

Speaker 5 When Cool Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 They're participating in McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon Mighty,

Speaker 1 the number one spot podcast on the charts and in your hearts.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 football guy for Don AWS.

Speaker 1 of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 part of my take.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, October 25th, and breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Max is a loser.

Speaker 4 I was going to start off by congratulating the the Diamondbacks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, congratulations

Speaker 1 on the Texas Rangers.

Speaker 4 And the Rangers, too. The Diamondbacks, they earned it.
They're a fun team. Nobody roots for them.
I think they have like 20,000 fans, but I. Shout out to our guy, Clue.

Speaker 4 Clue Haywood is very happy, and Dan Heron.

Speaker 1 Congrats to Dan Heron. Dan Heron did this.
He put this together. Dan Heron is like a longtime old friend of ours who has been with us from basically day one.
I am very happy for Dan Heron.

Speaker 1 We'll try to get him on the show.

Speaker 1 It is crazy. We'll talk about the Phillies.
You're right, PFT. We have to give for the Diamondbacks and the Rangers.

Speaker 1 The fact that the Diamondbacks, the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Texas Rangers were both down 3-2

Speaker 1 and they had to go to the opponent's ballpark and win two games, six and seven. I would have, like, what would that have paid for those teams to go 4-0? They robbed the bank.
It's insane.

Speaker 1 And the Diamondbacks, I was looking at it. So the Diamondbacks and Rangers, if you go back just two short years, 2021, the Texas Rangers were 60 and 102.
The Arizona Diamondbacks were 52 and 110.

Speaker 1 It's insane. Like, this is what sports are about if you're a fan.
The ability to have your franchise turn that quickly. The Rangers obviously spent a lot of money.

Speaker 1 The Diamondbacks got a lot of young guys up there

Speaker 1 and Dan Heron.

Speaker 1 It's a true testament. Like, this is why you stick with your team because a quick turnaround like this is right around the corner.
And everyone's, that's what you're hoping for.

Speaker 1 That's what you're praying for.

Speaker 4 So this is awesome for a lot of reasons. I know people are talking about what the ratings will be.
I love that. The people that get pre-mad

Speaker 1 pre-mad ratings.

Speaker 4 They get pre-mad about how pre-bad the ratings will be in the future. And that's why you won't watch the game.

Speaker 1 Game two on Saturday night against college football will be tough.

Speaker 4 There'll be people that are like, I'm not going to watch this. This is going to be the lowest rated World Series ever.
That makes no sense. I'm going to watch it.
I'm going to have fun.

Speaker 4 I'm a seam head, or at least you got to appreciate October baseball.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for the Diamondbacks. I'm rooting for Dan Herron.

Speaker 4 So the Diamondbacks, they have the ninth lowest payroll in baseball right now. And they got the last spot in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 So for everybody that's saying, I mean, Dodgers fans that are saying that the new wildcard format is bullshit, that they should go back.

Speaker 4 Well, one of the teams got to the World Series, and I know that that might prove why you're upset. It's like, okay, a team that over the long season wasn't as competitive can make the World Series.

Speaker 4 If that's what makes you mad about this, then we're watching two different sports because I love long shots. If your team's not in it, it's hard to not root for a long shot and an underdog.

Speaker 4 Fun stat, though. So, this blew my mind.
Um, this is from Twitter user free pure life. Okay, in 2001, yeah, Randy Johnson murdered a bird with a fastball.

Speaker 4 They got to the World Series, yeah. They won the World Series, actually, yeah, they did against the Yankees in 2023.

Speaker 4 Zach Gallen murdered a bird with the baseball playing long toss in the outfield. You remember that clip? Yes, the Diamondbacks are back in the World Series.

Speaker 1 Wow, they're bird killers, they're bird killers.

Speaker 4 That's incredible. It's the streak of the bird.

Speaker 1 I also love on the other side, the Rangers. They spent a lot of money, and Astros fans being extra salty with the fact they're like, oh, well, you bought it.
And you threw a bunch of money at it.

Speaker 1 Isn't that exactly what every fan wants their team to do?

Speaker 1 I want my team to spend all the money every year, especially in baseball when there's no real salary cap. Just spend it all.
Yeah. Spend it all and get me a good team.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 So it was just like a hilarious cell phone by Astros fans to be like,

Speaker 1 well, you guys bought that.

Speaker 4 You guys paid a bunch of money for good players. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Losers. Seniors.
And also, shout out Bruce Bocey.

Speaker 1 He's his own dynasty. So he obviously had three World Series wins with the San Francisco Giants.
He is now back in the World Series with the Texas Rangers.

Speaker 1 Bruce Bocey has been in the playoffs, I think it's, yeah, five times in the last 15, 20 years, and he's won three World Series and gone to a fourth. It's pretty insane.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Cubs did beat him the only time, so we are the Bruce Bocey killers, but still insane for Bruce Bocey to just come and be like, yep, World Series, let's go.

Speaker 4 We have another streak going on, too, that we should keep tabs on, and that's the Houston Astros are now the only team to ever lose all four home games in a playoff series.

Speaker 4 The last time it happened was against the Nationals in the World Series.

Speaker 6 I remember that pretty well.

Speaker 4 But it happened again with the Texas Rangers and Bruce Boschy. Did you know that Bruce Boschy has the biggest head in Major League Baseball?

Speaker 4 He wears a size eight and a half.

Speaker 1 Sorry,

Speaker 1 8 1 ⁇ 2.

Speaker 4 8 15. So he's got a big fucking head.
Huge head. He wears an 8 1 ⁇ 2 hat.
That means big brain, I'm pretty sure, right? If we're going to do phrenology, he's got a big brain in that skull.

Speaker 4 But 8 1 ⁇ 2 hat is so fucking big.

Speaker 1 Here's another crazy stat.

Speaker 4 They didn't have a helmet that fit him when he played in Major League Baseball. They had to get like a prescription hat for him.

Speaker 1 Here's another crazy stat. You ready for this one?

Speaker 1 Since Max joined, pardon my take,

Speaker 1 the Phillies lost a World Series after leading 2-0.

Speaker 1 The Eagles lost a Super Bowl after being up 10 at half.

Speaker 1 The Sixers lost the Eastern Conference final after leading 3-2.

Speaker 1 And the Phillies just lost the NLCS after being up 2-0 and then 3-2

Speaker 1 with two games at the bank.

Speaker 4 Don't forget about the Union. The Union also.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 Max,

Speaker 1 you know this spot very well.

Speaker 1 Yes, I do.

Speaker 1 I'll start with an easy one.

Speaker 1 Do you regret not making game six a must-win? Every game ever for the rest of my life is a must-win.

Speaker 4 That's smart. That's a good mentality.

Speaker 1 That's a really good mentality.

Speaker 4 That's the best answer you could have given there. Because you failed.

Speaker 4 It was not just game six, right? There was another one you didn't make a must-win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it was game four. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 4 I think you went 0 for 2 on not must-win games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I said, bring me back two wins in the desert, and

Speaker 1 you didn't, right? On that weekend, you only brought back one.

Speaker 1 What's going through your head right now, Max?

Speaker 1 Are you going to cry? I'm not going to cry.

Speaker 1 I don't even know. It's just the same.
It's just all too familiar sitting in this spot. Which we've, again, this is the first time we've ever recorded in this studio.

Speaker 1 This figurative spot where all of you guys just are like fighting back like the biggest giggles. No, Hank, look at Hank.
He's not even fighting it back. I can't even look at him.

Speaker 1 He's not even fighting it back.

Speaker 4 I can't tell if Hank's high on marijuana or high on just Max's maxiwana.

Speaker 1 Maxijana is the best drug ever. Oh, give me that maxiwana.
I'm an addict. I just don't understand how this keeps happening.
Yeah. It just keeps happening.

Speaker 4 In your deepest, darkest thoughts, do you think it's you?

Speaker 1 I don't know how you could.

Speaker 1 I don't. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, do you think?

Speaker 1 Do you think maybe because I read all those very tough losses? We forgot to mention that before any of these losses happened, you did say that you guys were title town.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 1 We're just loser town. We're really good at thinking that we're good.
And then all of a sudden, it just

Speaker 1 right in our face every time.

Speaker 1 No city is

Speaker 1 is as good as Philadelphia is at making you think

Speaker 1 you're about to be happy. Like you're on the verge of, you're just so close to being on the verge of happiness, and then it just, it just, you, you just strangles you.

Speaker 1 You did win a Super Bowl

Speaker 1 2017.

Speaker 1 That was eons ago. Yeah, it does feel like every year.

Speaker 4 I would go a little bit further even, Max. I don't think that any city is as good, like is actually as good as Philadelphia thinks that it is at sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess you could say that. Yeah.
Hey, new studio, though.

Speaker 1 We should have said that off the top, obviously, game seven, but this is the new part of my take studio. It is not a finished.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. Whoa.
First sneeze in the new studio. It is not a finished product.
There's going to be some changes. We have a big sign coming back here.

Speaker 1 We're going to figure out some way to get this TV to work.

Speaker 1 Max will be in the booth. We had to have him sit on the couch for this.
Jake's in the booth. Evan,

Speaker 1 memes, Shane's here. It's also so hot in here right now.
I have not figured out the AC in the studio yet. We got TVs in here, so we'll be able to watch games.

Speaker 1 We're going to maybe watch Sunday Night Football because the Bears are playing while we record live reaction.

Speaker 1 We got a new studio.

Speaker 6 No one dresses better for a big game than you, too. I'll give you that credit.

Speaker 1 All right, so that's a funny thing that you brought up, Hank. We actually have a clip.
So Max. During the live stream,

Speaker 1 it's baseball. You're trying to get rallies going.
We kept on telling him, hey, you got to change this. You got to change that.
Change your hair. Change your, you know, whatever he's wearing.

Speaker 1 He cut his overalls off.

Speaker 4 He took his overall Daisy Duke overalls.

Speaker 1 We all took our shirts off for a while.

Speaker 4 I actually respect it, Max. Max did everything he could to win this game tonight.

Speaker 1 But he had a moment when it was getting really bleak that he realized that everything he was doing probably wasn't going to get them any runs.

Speaker 1 You want to play the clip memes?

Speaker 1 This could be such a bad night for me, and you guys just want it to be so much worse. Please.

Speaker 1 I look at me right now.

Speaker 1 Look at what I'm doing for you.

Speaker 1 I look ridiculous.

Speaker 1 He's right. He's right, Danny.

Speaker 4 I think you're doing it for us, though.

Speaker 1 Yes, I mean,

Speaker 1 it's not fucking worth it.

Speaker 1 Everything you tell me to do doesn't work. Dominance has been covered.
It's true. Nothing is worth it.

Speaker 1 Max, thoughts?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 nothing worked.

Speaker 1 I cut my fucking things. My underwear is showing right now.

Speaker 1 I look like a little boy.

Speaker 1 And then I looked like a little girl with my fucking pigtails on.

Speaker 4 You look like a kid that's dressed up for Halloween, like as a train conductor.

Speaker 1 And then I did the shirt off.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was the worst inning in the history of baseball when you took those shirts off.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sometimes you got to to do crazy shit for. I hate shit for a Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 I'm true. But nothing I can do can get me there.

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 4 Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering, because I know Hank's a big Philly sports fan.
I was wondering what Hank's thoughts are after Night Live.

Speaker 8 I hate that

Speaker 1 I'm trying so hard that he's just not in any part of my eye line.

Speaker 4 We just need to get Hank involved a little bit in the podcast. He's

Speaker 4 on the poster behind you, Hank.

Speaker 1 No, he didn't look. Fuck.

Speaker 1 He's not looking at you, Hank.

Speaker 6 Honestly, I mean, the Phillies fought hard. Making it to NLCS is a good accomplishment for a team like Philadelphia.

Speaker 6 And the most impressive part for me is just the fact that the D-Backs were able to go win not one game at the bank, but two in a row in a ballpark that there's really nowhere else like it.

Speaker 6 So to overcome that.

Speaker 1 It's an SEC stadium.

Speaker 6 And to be able to win two.

Speaker 6 Two games,

Speaker 6 one game away from elimination and win two in a row, fought back multiple leads. Never gave up.
Never died.

Speaker 6 That, to me, was really like. I don't think Philly lost as much as the Diamondbacks won.

Speaker 4 It's tough to kill those snakes.

Speaker 1 It is tough to kill those snakes. So, Max,

Speaker 1 what's the status of the bank?

Speaker 1 I don't, I mean,

Speaker 1 it's a very good question. Is the bank a fraud? Dude, it is a very good question.

Speaker 4 Is this bank fraud?

Speaker 1 The home field is not what I thought it was. Oh, no.
Because you really thought it was special.

Speaker 1 It was special for a while. Singing along.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Every song. Cheering for all.

Speaker 1 A-O-K. Is that what they do?

Speaker 4 Yeah, Max.

Speaker 1 You're going to be A-O-A-O-K. Like, I just don't know what.

Speaker 1 I just don't know where to go.

Speaker 1 Eagles.

Speaker 1 But it's

Speaker 1 going to be like the fact that the Eagles are good is almost worse. Kevin Byard.

Speaker 1 It's almost worse because it's just going to be the same thing where they're just going to keep playing well and they're going to bring you you up.

Speaker 1 It's just going to be another team that brings you up, and then you look like you go up 10 at half of the Super Bowl, and then it just

Speaker 1 punches you right in the face,

Speaker 1 and it's just going to happen again. It's just going to keep happening.
So, like, I just need to tell myself,

Speaker 4 What are you doing with your fingers right now, Max?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are you doing with your fingers? I'm worried. I'm just,

Speaker 4 you do look like Billy May is about to sell me a casket.

Speaker 1 I just don't know

Speaker 1 how I don't want to be excited anymore.

Speaker 1 I don't want to get my hopes up anymore. I don't want to get my hopes up anymore because it's so much harder.
It hurts so much more when you think that.

Speaker 1 Use your words.

Speaker 1 You just get excited and then you're almost there and you're like, we're going to do it. We're going to win.
It's going to be a great moment for me. I'm going to be so happy.
The city's going to rock.

Speaker 1 And then they get you so close and then it just, everything just falls to nothing.

Speaker 1 And I'm sorry to everyone who has to listen to this right now. This is a new studio.
We shouldn't be doing this.

Speaker 1 It is kind of crazy that the new studio is game seven. Max, have you thought? Because,

Speaker 1 look, we just opened this new office. We'll show everyone the new office in a couple of weeks.
It's incredible.

Speaker 1 Bigger than my wildest dreams. Like, everything is awesome.
The studio, we're going to make so many great memories in

Speaker 1 Is there a part of you, though, that like thinks, like, man, what if I just had never joined part of my take and I could have just

Speaker 1 been sad on my own time and not have to sit on that couch?

Speaker 1 It's it is what it is.

Speaker 4 What about the other? I probably came at you a little strong when I asked you, like, how much blame do you put on yourself for something like this?

Speaker 4 It would be fair to also ask you, how much blame do you put on us?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 6 it's it's the joy.

Speaker 1 I think it's more of the joy that it comes from you.

Speaker 1 No, the pain for me is also super important in everything.

Speaker 1 This is a tough one. This is unstoppable force versus the immovable object.

Speaker 4 I'll be honest with you, Max, I don't take any pleasure in Philly sports fans in general losing things.

Speaker 4 You are wildly entertaining when you lose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 4 That's the thing.

Speaker 4 It is a compliment. I mean it as a compliment.
It doesn't sound like one right now, but I sincerely mean that you are extremely entertaining when you lose.

Speaker 1 Right. It's not the city of Philadelphia because I do feel bad for the city of Philadelphia and I have Hank's shaking his head.
Don't shake your fucking head.

Speaker 1 And I have a lot of friends from Philadelphia, but just watching your pain. I mean, I feel like a sicko, but this is what people do to us when we lose.
But you guys... We're losers.
I know.

Speaker 1 We're losers in the truest sense.

Speaker 1 You're a win-win-win-lose.

Speaker 6 He's lost more in the last 18 months than you guys have through the entirety of the show.

Speaker 4 No, he's had so much hope the last 18 months. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. But that's so much worse.
That's what I'm trying to explain to you guys. You wish you could just be losers like us?

Speaker 8 Just regular losers?

Speaker 1 You can just go and

Speaker 1 enjoy a nice sporty, like ball game, you know,

Speaker 1 play some wagers. And like, you know, it stinks to lose money and that, but it's just so much more.

Speaker 1 You just think that, like, the, like, I can't stress enough how much, like, why do I think that things are going to be... It's insanity.

Speaker 1 What do they say about insanity? Yeah, the definition of insanity. They're just doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 Same thing over.

Speaker 1 And it never changes.

Speaker 1 I was going to, I didn't want to scream into the mic and hurt people's ears there, but it just never changes. It's just, I get you, I don't know why I think things are going to change.

Speaker 1 I don't know why I think that this is different. But like everything pointed to that with this Phillies team.

Speaker 1 They were so cool. Like they made Philadelphia likable.
People were just saying that. They were like, how is this Phillies?

Speaker 1 Oh, God, I hate.

Speaker 1 I hate Hank so much. I don't agree with you.
I was rooting for him. No, you weren't.
I was rooting for him.

Speaker 4 That's a lie, Hank.

Speaker 1 It looked different.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 it all came crashing.

Speaker 1 I said that loss when we were up 5-2.

Speaker 1 Game 3? And it was game 4.

Speaker 1 That was absolute heart.

Speaker 1 That was Super Bowl-esque.

Speaker 1 That game was worse than I feel right now. And the Bats, yeah, the Bats in the.

Speaker 1 Bryce Harper just has had so many, so many, so many clutch moments for the Phillies, and he just no show.

Speaker 4 When Trey Turner and Bryce Harper both flied out, that felt like it was over at that point. Trey's had some clutch moments, too.
He's had some really, like, we're in the World Baseball Classic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you want to cry, you can.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing this whole game again.

Speaker 1 But you just asked me to cry. No, but you look like you're going to cry.
I'm not going to cry. It's okay.

Speaker 1 It's just, I don't, like, it's just gonna keep happening like you know that this is eagles are gonna do this like the like this is all about to happen again yeah they probably this is all about to happen again but like yeah they probably are hank's smiling again do you remember how magical this october felt and like late late september felt so magical and then and then it just wasn't meant to be it's just never meant to be

Speaker 1 killed a bird it's just never meant to be

Speaker 1 i got one thing to maybe cheer you up

Speaker 4 is it looking at boobs?

Speaker 1 We could look at some boobs. You want to look at some boobs?

Speaker 1 I did not want to see the boobs when you tried to show me the boobs. I was trying to cheer you up.
And they were nice boobs. Max doesn't really look like

Speaker 9 this is not.

Speaker 1 This is not boob. It's not boob time.
It's not boobable. All right.
Well, just, I sent it to you. Read it out loud.

Speaker 1 Let's cheer you up.

Speaker 1 He's looking through his phone.

Speaker 6 It's probably a lot of.

Speaker 1 God damn it.

Speaker 1 Read it out out loud. Read it out loud.

Speaker 1 Read the whole thing out loud.

Speaker 1 I don't know why you keep doing this to me. He has now put $3,700

Speaker 1 on Villanova to win the national championship.

Speaker 1 Let's go, cats. Like, I don't know why.
Like, we can't keep doing. Like, you are literally 40 to 1.
You're 80. You're just 40 to 1.
That's 150 G. You're just throwing.

Speaker 1 You keep throwing away money for these moments. Like, we can't keep doing this.
I am gonna, I am the drill tweet. It's like, can someone do the math for me?

Speaker 1 I spend this much on my car, I spend this much on my house, and then it's like $170,000 on Philadelphia Sports Team's futures.

Speaker 1 Just for these moments, dude, you told me they were going to be good this year. They are going to be good this year.

Speaker 1 They are.

Speaker 1 That's a good bet.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't.

Speaker 1 I hate.

Speaker 1 I'm riding with you, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for villains. I just keep losing when you ride with me.
But I get as far.

Speaker 1 I know. And it's worse.
I keep saying it's worse.

Speaker 1 I just keep saying it's worse. He's crying.
I'm not crying. He's crying.

Speaker 4 His eyes are just watering a little bit.

Speaker 1 Just feels so hot. You know what? And Max is probably sweating so much.

Speaker 1 Sweating so much.

Speaker 4 You need a snack. Do you need a snack?

Speaker 1 No, I'm never eating. These overalls are not flattering.

Speaker 1 Do you have any last words?

Speaker 4 Hank, do you have any last words?

Speaker 6 No, I'm just happy. You know, it'll be a good, you know, first

Speaker 6 studio memory.

Speaker 1 Look at him, Max. Are you not looking at him?

Speaker 6 Max is a content machine. He is.
And I'll always appreciate him for that.

Speaker 1 And he rides and dies very, very hard with his team. It's not shtick.
He's riding as hard as he can.

Speaker 4 Max would be doing this exact same thing if the cameras weren't on right now.

Speaker 4 He might be crying. You might be holding back tears, actually.
actually.

Speaker 1 Memes just sent us the Kevin James memes with tits.

Speaker 1 That'll cheer you up. Thanks, memes.

Speaker 4 What do you think about Cassianos?

Speaker 1 Barrels?

Speaker 4 You need more barrels? Go for 21.

Speaker 1 He's a hot and cold player. Baseball's weird like that sometimes.
And just everyone went cold. Everyone went cold.

Speaker 4 What about Karen Kake?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Remember that the relief pitcher? I told you he stunk?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kirkring. I'm never disagreeing with you guys ever again.
Because every time I do, it blows up in my face.

Speaker 1 Every game is a must-win. Oh, my guy, Stucky, just tweeted this out.

Speaker 1 Arizona would have missed the playoffs if Suzuki had caught that ball in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 It wouldn't have mattered.

Speaker 1 Heartbreak would have just gone somewhere else.

Speaker 4 Yeah. What do you think about Blooper coming at you? Pretty strong, huh?

Speaker 1 I mean, that guy is so...

Speaker 1 Like, I don't... He doesn't have a single inch of anything in my brain.

Speaker 6 I don't give a fuck about Blooper.

Speaker 4 Sounds like you care a little. Yeah, how much do you not care about Blooper?

Speaker 1 Not much, but what are we doing here? Like, what is this? All right, all right, Max. Any last words? No.
Okay, good. Well said.

Speaker 1 All right, you're dismissed to go to the studio where you'll be for the shows now.

Speaker 1 What a game.

Speaker 4 It was great baseball. I love baseball.
I actually do feel really happy for Arizona Diamond Basketball. Like, the shit you've been through, you got the pool.

Speaker 4 That's going to be rocking during the World Series.

Speaker 4 I'm sure it'll turn into a baseball town.

Speaker 9 Yeah. They should wear the green and teal.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They have some

Speaker 1 snake, teal, and purple.

Speaker 4 I like their mascot, too. Their mascot gets no love because he looks like a rabid wildcat.
I think he's like a bobcat, maybe, some sort of desert animal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he's awesome. I like that.
I like the pool.

Speaker 4 I like the snake memes. I like the snake emoji in general.
Good vibes. Good vibes from the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Speaker 1 Other things. Before we get to college football and Dan Orlofsky,

Speaker 1 Kirk Cousins was fucking awesome. Yeah.
Monday night football. The Niners have now lost two in a row.
The Vikings are

Speaker 1 kind of like alive-ish. Who's back? Pinky team?

Speaker 4 Who's back is Creed. Yes.
You got the Rangers making the World Series. You got Kirk Cousins winning games on Monday night.
This is going to be an insult stat, so prepare yourself, Big Gat.

Speaker 4 Kirk Cousins is now 3-10.

Speaker 1 He only beats the Bears.

Speaker 4 He's 3-10 on Monday Night Football. This is the first win against a team not named the Bears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, no.

Speaker 1 We propped up his schedule a lot.

Speaker 4 And actually, I'm looking at their schedule right now. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Pinky team might come back into play. Packers, Falcons, Saints, Broncos, Bears, Raiders.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They could easily rip off four and two there.

Speaker 4 They look real good. They had a flash of old Vikings where they missed a pretty easy field goal.
And then everybody was like, well, I've seen this movie before. But Addison is awesome.

Speaker 4 Addison's, once they get Jefferson back and you have Jefferson and Addison and Kirk Cousins playing great and and he loves Hawkinson too, that's going to be a good offense, I think.

Speaker 4 I don't think that anything that the Vikings did last night was a fluke, except for that one touchdown where

Speaker 4 Addison ripped it away with like 10 seconds left. That was a little bit flukey, but I do think that the Vikings are good offensively, and last night their defense was pretty good, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and

Speaker 1 the moment that it was like, oh, shit, Kirk is like really balling and playing different Kirk is that big throw he made at the, it was probably like seven or eight minutes left in the fourth quarter when he looked like he was going to get a sack, and it was like the whole line was collapsing on him, and he stepped up and he made, and he just threw a strike, and you're like, fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Kirk.
So like he's playing great ball.

Speaker 4 If we're on Justin Jefferson, will he play again this year, watch? I'd say that now it's increased from being, no, he won't play at all to yes, he definitely will play.

Speaker 1 He definitely will play.

Speaker 4 Over the course of like two weeks, that stock has turned around quite a bit.

Speaker 1 And now the 49ers are, I don't know. I mean, that is two losses.

Speaker 1 I think they're fine. They got to get guys healthy, but it is like we're going to talk to Dan Orloski about quarterback play.

Speaker 1 Brock Purdy is like, you know, depending on the week, he's either the reason why they lose in the worst quarterback ever or elite. We fall into that hype.

Speaker 1 But it does feel like

Speaker 1 the nice thing is the 49ers for the first five games felt like they were unbeatable. Now the NFC feels like it's very wide open, like even more wide open than it was before.

Speaker 1 And I don't think there's any truly dominant team outside of the Kansas City Chiefs.

Speaker 4 So next week, it's going to be the 49ers and the Bengals.

Speaker 4 I'm going to say this is a must-win for the 49ers in that if they lose it, they're frauds.

Speaker 4 They're on fraud watch right now.

Speaker 4 They are just hovering above that line.

Speaker 1 I don't agree with fraud watch just because of what they did to the Cowboys.

Speaker 4 But they will be.

Speaker 4 We are going to call them frauds if they get. beat by the Bengals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they have the Bengals and the Bills.

Speaker 4 I'm just letting you know, like, I'm getting ahead of it. I do think that the Niners will be fine.
I think that they're built in a way.

Speaker 4 They're built in a way where I think they're a legitimately good team. I think you'd be dumb to say that they're not a good team.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But if they do lose to the Bengals at home this Sunday,

Speaker 4 we're going to have to have the frog coming.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was wrong. The Bengals play the 49ers, then the Bills.
The 49ers play the Bengals, then go to Jacksonville. Those are two tough games.
Yeah. Those are two tough games.

Speaker 1 And then they have to play, and they get the Bucs, but then they're going against the Seahawks, Eagles, Seahawks in three in a row.

Speaker 1 Their schedule looks a lot different now. They're not just wasting teams.
Yeah. Yeah, and you're right.
I mean, besides the Cowboys win, they beat the Cardinals, they beat the Giants. The Steelers.

Speaker 4 That was a big one. And the Steelers.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Week one.
And the Rams, they always beat the Rams.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 New studio. We have the lottery ball machine unveiling at the end of this episode.
We're excited to be in the new studio. The new office is awesome.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about it more, but let's kick it to ourselves, some college football talk.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's PFT

Speaker 4 game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 boys, college football. The biggest game of the weekend was also the biggest snooze fest.

Speaker 1 And so I've broken down this week's college football recap in a tale of three coaches. We have the losers, Dabo,

Speaker 1 James Franklin, and Lincoln Riley, and the big winners in my mind, and we'll get to the Jim Harbaugh stuff later, Kyle Whittingham, Nick Sabin, and Ryan Day. Okay.

Speaker 1 So follow me along here, or follow along here. James Franklin.
I would add Lou Holtz to the loser. Lou Holtz is a loser as well.
He keeps losing.

Speaker 1 James Franklin, a loser because he can't win the big game. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's who James Franklin is. This game sucked.
This game stunk.

Speaker 4 It was painful to watch from start to finish. It was boring.
Ohio State just kind of smothered him.

Speaker 4 With the exception of Maserati Marv, there wasn't too much offense going on in that game, which, by the way, can we all agree to never call him Maserati Marv?

Speaker 1 No, Gus Johnson is terrible at football announcing. I've said it.
I've been roasted for it. I think he's awful at football announcing.

Speaker 1 Basketball, fine, but he just, when you're watching a game early in the day, and I know this is a big game, but him screaming after a first down, Maserati Marv, it's like, dude, we just got into our football day.

Speaker 4 Does anybody call him Maserati Marv? Gus Johnson.

Speaker 1 Just Gus Johnson. All day.
But that really was the difference. It was just basically, if you had to write like a recap of the game, it was Ohio State has Maserati Marv, Penn State does not.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that was the game. Penn State's offense looked terrible.

Speaker 4 It was a boring, boring game to watch. And I have to think that, like, well, you know what's really funny now, and we'll get to, as you said, Jim Harbaugh in a second.

Speaker 4 I love, I love Penn State on their high horse about integrity

Speaker 4 and getting like the most mad about what Michigan's doing. I absolutely love it.

Speaker 1 James Franklin now is 1-9 versus Ohio State, 3-16 versus top 10 teams. His Penn State and Indian Lions, their defense is incredible.
Their offense is very, very bad.

Speaker 1 So bad, they're historically bad on Saturday. They were one for 16 on third downs, which is the worst ever for any top 10 team attempting at least 15 first downs in the last decade.

Speaker 4 But also the refs fucked them. We have to make sure to include them.

Speaker 1 They did, but they were never going to score.

Speaker 4 They didn't actually fuck them. They didn't actually fuck him.

Speaker 4 It was an ass kicking. It was like, I wouldn't say it was an ass kicking now.
I would actually say it was just like smothering is the best way to put it. Yeah.
You just got smothered.

Speaker 1 They had 167 yards in 57 minutes. Yeah.
And then they scored a garbage time touchdown. And for James Franklin, it's like all been building up to this where he's like, I have the team now.

Speaker 1 I have the team. And then he wakes up on Sunday morning.
He's like, oh, shit. Yet again, I'm the third best team in the Big Ten East, which

Speaker 1 Penn State's better than probably 95% of the teams in NCAA football. It just so happens that they play in the same division as Michigan and Ohio State, who he can never beat.

Speaker 4 So this is the conundrum you found yourself in if you're a Penn State fan. You have a good team every year.
Very good. You have a very good team every year.
You get to play meaningful games.

Speaker 4 You get to have that moment in the offseason where it's like, oh, Drew Aller might be actually one of the best quarterbacks in college football. This might be the year.

Speaker 4 And then you lose big games, and then you get depressed about it. And then you're like, why can't James Franklin win the big one? So your choice is now.

Speaker 4 Do you stay with James Franklin, who at least makes you happy, I don't know, nine months out of the year?

Speaker 4 Things are on the uptick nine months out of the year until you lose a big game and then you're like, oh, well, we're not going to make the playoff again this year.

Speaker 4 Or do you try to switch up and take the unknown and risk going, you know, like five wins, six wins a season, and then that's really unacceptable.

Speaker 4 Then you have to go out there and get a coach that you hope and pray will be as good as James Franklin is because Penn State football has not been competing for championships at all recently.

Speaker 1 But now you're at least in the conversation. They're close.
They've been close a couple years. Yeah, yeah.
So they can't break through. But that's James Franklin.
He'll get you close. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 So if you're happy with being close, I personally would be happy with being close.

Speaker 1 There was the year that they obviously had a gripe. They've never led a two-loss team into the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 It was the year that they beat Ohio State, and then they lost to, I believe, Pitt in the non-conference, and that was the thing that kept him out.

Speaker 1 That was the Big Ten championship game against Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 Here's why you've got to stick with James Franklin to answer your question. It's a 12-team playoff.
Yeah. Penn State will be in the 12-team playoff.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, that is the solution to all the problems of Penn State.

Speaker 1 They will get to the 12-team playoff, and maybe Iron Sharpens Iron, and Ohio State and Michigan are that good that when you get to the 12-team playoff and you play a big 12-team or an ACC team, you will win that game, and then you win a playoff game, and everything looks different because James Franklin just won the big game.

Speaker 4 There's a question about has he ever won a playoff game? And now he can be like, yes, he has. Also, you get to root for upsets in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 That would be something if Penn State lost to Ohio State. They make it to the 12-team playoff, and then all the top teams get bounced out, and then they go on on a cakewalk to the championship.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That could happen. It's a possibility.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I feel like a lot of Penn State fans are at the end of the rope with James Franklin. It's like, come on, he's maybe this is loser talk now that I'm saying it out loud.

Speaker 4 It might be loser talk where I would be perfectly happy

Speaker 4 rooting for a team that at least you think has a chance every year and you're just outside every year.

Speaker 1 They just keep running into a wall. And Drew Aller is a five-star quarterback and he is young.
So maybe he becomes the guy. He said himself he sucked and he was crying after the game.

Speaker 1 It was very emotional. Like they sucked.
Their offense sucked.

Speaker 1 So that was the one loser. The other two losers, Lincoln Riley,

Speaker 1 coaches the softest teams in the country.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and Utah is always a tough team.

Speaker 1 Well, Kyle Wittingham will get to him

Speaker 1 as one of my winners. Jake, did you see that Lincoln Riley did not let anyone on USC talk to the media?

Speaker 9 I did not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he didn't let any of his players talk to the media.

Speaker 9 There's different rules for student athletes versus professional athletes.

Speaker 4 I would like to hear accountability after the game, Jake. Yeah,

Speaker 4 As a member of the media,

Speaker 4 I want to hear 20-year-olds tell me how sad they are. Fair.

Speaker 1 Lincoln Riley is like that defense. And now people are saying like Caleb Williams, could he sit out for the rest of the year? It wouldn't be the craziest thing.

Speaker 4 It would kind of confirm what a lot of people already think about Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't matter because one team is going to sell themselves on Caleb Williams and it does not matter.

Speaker 1 That's the thing is he basically can make the bet like, oh yeah, one team will take me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if Drake May, who would never lose a big-time college game, if Drake May happened to go off the board number one, there would be a team that didn't plan on taking him, but then they get that last-second itch where they're like, we could change the franchise.

Speaker 4 We could all maybe extend our jobs for two years if we just drafted. That's the thing about Caleb Williams.
No matter how good or how bad you think he's going to be,

Speaker 4 any front office that drafts him, you might as well get a two-year contract extension. Easily.
Right off the bat on that. Easily.
Yeah, USC soft on defense. That's Lincoln Riley.

Speaker 4 Again, like James Franklin and Lincoln Riley, we should not be surprised by either of these two results.

Speaker 1 That's kind of who they are. Yeah, it is, and they are like a,

Speaker 1 I don't want to sound like an old guy, but it feels like they're

Speaker 1 like millennials, not right. It's Gen Zers.
They're a team of Gen Zers.

Speaker 4 Zoomers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where they're like, hey, come to USC, NIL, all this stuff. Don't have to tackle.
It's going to work out.

Speaker 1 The last loser was Dabo. Dabo is going through it.
Now, he made a suicide joke after the game, which was... I thought that played.
I thought it was funny.

Speaker 1 He had to take it back.

Speaker 4 I hate to stand up for Dabo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That joke was, it wasn't a great joke, but I don't think it was bad enough for people to get mad about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so if you missed it, they asked him after if there's like a mental health or a mental coach on staff, and he said, yeah, he's probably looking for the suicide hotline right now.

Speaker 4 Which is funny because he's implying that their mental coach needs a mental coach.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. So he did walk it back.
He realized like it's not a funny joke, whatever.

Speaker 1 I was not offended by it personally. But Dabo, he's getting his wish.
He said the other day that he thinks that maybe a couple losses will be good for Clemson because it will lighten up the bandwagon.

Speaker 1 But talk about a guy who has not adjusted whatsoever to the new era of college football and you reap what you sow. Clemson, like Clemson was going to be the new Alabama a few years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were the new Alabama.

Speaker 4 Yeah. They beat Alabama.
They took the crown from Sabin.

Speaker 1 I love,

Speaker 4 I'm a sicko when it comes to just enjoying Dabo being uncomfortable and having to go through these situations. It's great.

Speaker 1 It's great to see.

Speaker 4 Not because I have anything personal against Dabbo, but because it puts him in such a weird position that he's not used to. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Where you have to see a guy that was like embracing front-runner status a couple seasons ago. Now he needs to get his defensive line back on steroids.
That's what he's got to do. It all went downhill.

Speaker 4 It all went downhill after they all got popped for having hot piss. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, so working in reverse, because I feel like they match up perfectly with each other.

Speaker 1 Sabin is like the anti-Dabbo where Dabbo was supposed to be the new Sabin. And Sabin,

Speaker 1 we, including all of media wrote Alabama off first half against Tennessee they look like they're not prepared second half they go back to old school Alabama and Sabin is the perfect example of like what Dabo would dream to be because Dabo you can win a championship but in your quote-unquote down years can you still win 10 games and be in the like Alabama even in their down years is still late into the season being like they could be in the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 It's pretty crazy the consistency. The floor of Nick Sabin teams is so much higher than everyone else's ceiling.
It's nuts.

Speaker 4 If I was a Tennessee fan after that second half,

Speaker 4 I would be counseling with Clemson's mental health coach for advice. That was so bad, so painful to watch.
I did bet on Tennessee. Things felt good in the first half.

Speaker 1 Real good with eight and a half points.

Speaker 4 What they should have done is scored a touchdown off one of those turnovers that they had and said

Speaker 4 they should have tried to run the seven-point play.

Speaker 4 Squirrel White was so much fun to watch too oh that's catcher map yeah the first half it was like joe milton squirrel white unstoppable just bomb it just throw it deep let squirrel handle it great name first team all name in college football uh and then the second half alabama happened to him and alabama happened all of a sudden and it was drastic and it was violent and it was bad and i feel bad for tennessee fans but alabama does look like it would not surprise me at all if alabama beat georgia and alabama got into the college football they got to beat lsu first but yeah i agree it's i actually think so we were the first to report it.

Speaker 1 When people start with this take, remember we were the first to report it that this is Nick Saban's best coaching job ever.

Speaker 1 I think Nick Saban might get more joy out of this type of season than winning a national title.

Speaker 4 It's a new problem to fix.

Speaker 1 Well, it's also, he probably loves it so much when people write him off, and then he's like, oh, okay. I'll go 11-1.

Speaker 4 So basically, what he did was when he lost to Texas, that was planned. Yep.

Speaker 4 That was in the game plan to lose that game.

Speaker 1 And the USF bad performance.

Speaker 4 The USF bad performance with a score of like

Speaker 4 zero points.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 he probably created burner accounts, email accounts, emailed a bunch of college football reporters, leaked some stories that weren't true just to get some rat poison. Yeah.

Speaker 4 To get some bulletin board material going that he can then put on the bulletin board and say, hey, guys, nobody believes that you can win. Boom.
Next thing you know, they're an elite team again.

Speaker 1 Yes. So Nick Saban, yeah, big winner this weekend.
Then again, working in reverse, Kyle Whittingham is the opposite of Lincoln Riley in every way. He is Mr.
Consistency.

Speaker 1 I tweeted out after that win that Kyle Whittingham's the best coach, not named Kirby or Nick.

Speaker 1 A lot of people are saying Jim Harbor. Again, we will get to that.

Speaker 1 He is so consistent, and he's so consistently like his teams are just fucking dogs. He just, like, he plays

Speaker 1 the guy who, their third string quarterback, went into the Coliseum. He's a pig farmer.
He grew up a pig farmer. He was running people over.

Speaker 1 Like, it's insane that this Utah team that everyone was like, oh, no cam rising. Like, this is going to be a problem for them.
They've won big game after big game.

Speaker 1 And every single year, Kyle Whittingham seems to have one of the toughest, best teams, well-coached teams in college football.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I just want to see them playing a big game at the end of the season. Utah in a bowl game is always must-watch.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 People have this outdated vision in their minds of Utah football, which is probably from like 20 years ago that they held on to for a while.

Speaker 4 I know I probably did, but Utah is just fun to watch year in, year out. Great, great teams, great football, a lot of points.
Well,

Speaker 1 it's great when you see Kyle Whittingham is Lincoln Riley's daddy, and he's beaten him three times in a row in basically a calendar year. And

Speaker 1 the contrast of the two teams couldn't be more stark when you're watching them. Like, Utah,

Speaker 1 you know, guys at the ball, like, attacking the ball, ton of like tough, tough guys hitting holes, and then USC trying to do it with finesse. It's awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kyle Whittingham just comes in and he's like, I'm going to punch you in the mouth, and I know you won't be able to respond.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Gin Zers out

Speaker 4 in Southern California are the perfect team for that city for Los Angeles to root for, and Utah is the perfect team for that state.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right, and so working it all the way around, Ryan Day, also big winner, not only because he beat Penn State, and his team looks tough, and it looks like

Speaker 1 their offense is not great, but it looks like he has molded his team to be a good foe for Michigan in the last week of the season. Although I think the Badgers might sneak him on Saturday.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm starting to get thoughts.
Ryan Day was a big winner because Jim Harbaugh is in some doo-doo He's in some trouble. So if people don't know, there's a big controversy.

Speaker 1 Michigan has a staffer named Connor Stallion.

Speaker 4 Great name. Connor Stallions.

Speaker 1 Connor Stallions.

Speaker 1 He makes $55,000 a year. Connor Stallions

Speaker 1 on his LinkedIn profile says that his skills are identifying the opponent's most likely course of action and most dangerous course of action and identifying and exploiting critical vulnerabilities and centers of gravity in the opponent's scouting process.

Speaker 4 Is that a real LinkedIn profile? Yes, because that sounds to me like something that you would like, somebody just patting their resume and very clearly alluding to like conducting illegal activities.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's like if you sell drugs, it's like I am a horticulturist and a botanist with experience in weighing and distributing different products and setting up logistics networks spanning from Columbia to Florida.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I go to opposing games and I videotape it. Yeah, he's identifying actually his LinkedIn profile.

Speaker 1 He's deleted everything, identifying and exploiting critical vulnerabilities and centers of gravity in the opponent scouting process.

Speaker 1 So the story is Connor Stallions has been buying tickets to a bunch of Big Ten games, so 30 tickets to 11 different Big Ten games.

Speaker 1 Either he or someone he knows sitting in the seats that are just high enough to be able to see the opposing bench, videotaping it, then taking that videotape and essentially discerning what their hand signals are.

Speaker 1 And then on game day, so he would do it like if Michigan was playing, they're playing Purdue this weekend.

Speaker 1 He would go to a Purdue game two weeks ago, watch them, and then when they play Purdue, he's got all their hand signals, which stealing hand signals is legal in the game.

Speaker 1 If you're looking across the sideline, you're like, oh, I noticed they did this. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 1 But actually going and recording them and scouting an opponent live is very much illegal.

Speaker 4 And the reason for that is because not every school has the same resources to be able to afford to buy tickets and send somebody to games.

Speaker 4 Also, it's just like anytime, it goes back to the Astros thing. Like when you bring in electronics into cheating, that's to me when it feels like it starts to be really cheating.
Right.

Speaker 4 If it's just done with like a notepad and a pen, that to me feels like it'd be a much lesser degree of cheating.

Speaker 4 But yeah, so not every school can send advanced scouts to games and do that to the extent that Michigan was allegedly doing.

Speaker 4 I think he also bought at one of the games, he bought tickets behind both benches. Yes.
Right. Because he wanted to get both sets of hand signals.

Speaker 1 Yes. And there's now video of him standing next to the defensive coordinator against Ohio State, like calling it out.

Speaker 4 Well, I saw this one screenshot with a coach that had diagrams of hand signals on them, on the sidelines.

Speaker 4 And as we alluded to last week, nothing you could tell me about the lengths to which Jim Harbaugh would go to win football games would surprise me.

Speaker 4 The fact that he had his own private NSA set up where he had guys going around the country and videotaping things, I would not be surprised at all to learn that. I actually wouldn't.

Speaker 4 I think that that falls perfectly in line with what we know about Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I have a theory, and

Speaker 1 this started as a joke, and then the more I thought about it, I'm now believing my own joke.

Speaker 1 I was going to go with the theory that Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge of it and that Michigan is going to get sanctioned, and Jim Harbaugh, because he had no knowledge of it, has to recuse himself from Michigan and go coach the Chicago Bears.

Speaker 1 That is what I'm going with. Jim Harbaugh is innocent.
Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge. And so I threw this out there and then I thought about it more.
And I think I actually believe it.

Speaker 1 I think I actually believe it. I think this guy,

Speaker 1 he was, from everything I've read, and now this is also becoming like a true college football story that it's a bunch of reply guys being like, here's another fact, here's another fact.

Speaker 1 From everything I've read, Connor Stallions was essentially like a Michigan super fan that worked his way into being on staff.

Speaker 1 I think Connor Stallions might, he was in the Marines, he went to the Naval Academy. I think he probably was like, I am really good at decoding this stuff.

Speaker 1 Hire me. And they're like, you can't decode it.
And he was cheating to basically be like, look how good I am. Like, you don't know how this happened, but I'm so good.
I went to the Navy.

Speaker 1 I went to the Navy. You don't understand how good I am at this stuff.
Meanwhile, he's cheating. I think some people in Michigan knew.

Speaker 1 I'm going to believe that Jim Harbaugh, because he's going to be the future coach of the Chicago Bears, did not know.

Speaker 4 What you're describing is entrapment.

Speaker 4 So he goes to the Michigan head coach and he said, or he goes to the Michigan, let's say like defensive coordinator, or one of the maybe an offensive coordinator and says, here's what I can do for you.

Speaker 4 I can go ahead and send me out to these campuses. I will videotape every single hand signal.
I'll decode them all for you and I'll give them to you. If he put that in their heads, that's on him.

Speaker 4 So this is like he's the perfect fall guy for Michigan to be like, this is all this one guy's idea.

Speaker 1 Well, I think there probably were other guys involved just because he, it seems like someone was funding him. He makes $55,000 a year.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Maybe he's just a big college football fan.

Speaker 1 Maybe just

Speaker 4 wanted to go to every Big Ten game.

Speaker 1 But weirdly enough, and I know this is sounding ridiculous. People are going to be like, you're so stupid.
You're just trying to cape for Jim Harbaugh because you want him to coach the Bears.

Speaker 1 Yes, that is true. Fact.
So you can't say that because I've already said it's fact. But also, my theory isn't that crazy.

Speaker 4 Knowing what we know about Harbaugh, though,

Speaker 4 Harbaugh would definitely love this scheme.

Speaker 4 This would be perfect for him because, one, John Harbaugh, or excuse me, Jim Harbaugh does think of Michigan football as being like a sovereign nation with its own military.

Speaker 4 His like pregame speech is always like, We're here to protect the University of Michigan against all enemies, foreign and domestic. He loves to break that out.

Speaker 4 He does think that they're their own branch of the military, and having a military guy stealing signs, that's just the cost of doing war.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's just like that's that's just running a good military.

Speaker 1 And my entire theory falls apart very quickly when I'm like, no, a lot of people knew, but not Jim Harbaugh. Yeah.
No, Jim Harbaugh knew.

Speaker 1 I'm like, no, no, no. Wait,

Speaker 1 I don't want it to be known that I think he's a lone wolf. I think the whole Michigan program knew.
Jim Harbaugh was left in the dark.

Speaker 4 So what might save Jim Harbaugh's ass is they might go to his computer, look for documentation about this. They'll search his emails.

Speaker 4 They'll search his Microsoft Word documents, but they won't search his Excel spreadsheets,

Speaker 4 which is where he keeps everything. And if he has a password-protected Excel document on his computer, that's probably the smartest way he can get out of this.

Speaker 4 I actually think that Harbaugh, to me, it seems like he's put a resume out there to get hired by an NFL team. But I would say that the NFL team would be the New England Patriots, Hank.

Speaker 4 Think about that. It seems like this is right in line with the culture in New England and how they do business.

Speaker 4 Do you disavow, Coach Harbaugh, or do you think, hey, this is an up-and-comer that would look really good in Foxborough?

Speaker 6 I disavow.

Speaker 1 It can't be.

Speaker 1 The worst part about this entire controversy is Dave, our boss,

Speaker 1 he has obviously gone on the defensive of Michigan.

Speaker 1 And the part that sucks is he makes a little bit of sense that it really is obviously like as soon as Michigan gets good, they're like, oh, they're cheating. That part sucks.

Speaker 1 When you can basically say, well, yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 And it is true how it works is if you get really good, people are like, oh, they're doing something.

Speaker 4 And if you look at their postseason opponents where they can't go in advance,

Speaker 4 where they don't know who they're going to play next, they haven't really done so well in terms of that. So

Speaker 4 I honestly believe it's true. I think it's funny.

Speaker 4 I think it's the most perfect college football controversy. And I actually put a lot of blame on the message board freaks out there.

Speaker 4 If you're a Big Ten message board freak and you had every other conspiracy theory as to why Michigan is doing well and you didn't stumble upon this one, you need to reevaluate yourself.

Speaker 4 You need to go back to square one and say, what am I doing wrong as a message board freak and how can I improve my performance so I can actually get ahead of this story and not wait for the NCAA to actually find out about it.

Speaker 6 Do you think it's like an Astro situation where it's Michigan, but it turns out it's like every team?

Speaker 1 I do. There have been multiple Big Ten coaches who've been asked about it.
I saw Matt Ruhl notably and he was like, I'm not going to comment about someone else's stuff. So that.

Speaker 1 I do think you open Pandora's box.

Speaker 1 It's just,

Speaker 1 oh man, I got to figure out a way to get Harbaugh out of this.

Speaker 1 Although, maybe Harbaugh did know and he gets banned from the NCAA because that wouldn't, that wouldn't stop him from being a coach in the NFL. No, it's actually okay, so I'm cool with anything.

Speaker 4 It's actually great for you if you want him to coach in the NFL.

Speaker 4 I was like, this is a perfect scenario because I don't think that Michigan, Michigan's probably going to get hammered with some serious, seriously.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's already got three games.

Speaker 1 Touchable games still. Yeah, takeaway scholarships.

Speaker 4 The program is probably going to be affected by this if it's true.

Speaker 4 So Harbaugh will probably be punished by the administration in order to get a lesser sentence. I would imagine that there's things that you can do to like negotiate that.

Speaker 4 I don't think that Harbaugh is going to stick around. I hope the best thing, if you're truly a fan of chaos, you want Michigan to win the national championship this year.
Yes.

Speaker 4 With all this shit going on. That's what I want to see.
Yeah. And it would be so fun.
People would be so angry about it. But I mean,

Speaker 4 this is what we love about that sport, which is just complete and utter confusion and chaos, and people hate each other.

Speaker 4 And it will be the biggest magnet for just pure, unadulterated just hate and vitriol from every college football fan base and it would be very funny if they won.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm basically working under the theory for this entire controversy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to the conclusion and just trying to work my way back. Harbaugh and the Bears.
Yeah. How do I get that to happen?

Speaker 4 I think this is very good for anybody who hopes that Harbaugh would coach their NFL team. Yes.

Speaker 1 I need the Chargers to now make the playoffs. Because I feel like that's the other team that he could potentially go and coach.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, he played on the Chargers. He got Justin Herbert.

Speaker 4 L.A. He coached in San Diego for a while.
San Diego.

Speaker 1 That's history. So I think I'm rooting for the...

Speaker 4 You think Harbaugh is an LA guy?

Speaker 1 Maybe I should put in a parlay.

Speaker 1 Michigan to win the national title, Chargers to make the playoff.

Speaker 4 I don't think he would go to San Diego. I think he would.
Or L.A. I think he would.

Speaker 1 I think that's a...

Speaker 1 I don't know. He also has some history with the Bears ownership.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just got to figure out a way. So, great weekend in college football, though.
That was like an awesome in terms of everything that happened.

Speaker 1 I mean, Florida State coming back and beating Duke, just smothering them in the second half.

Speaker 4 Virginia beat UNC.

Speaker 1 That was a crazy game.

Speaker 4 Great win for Virginia and for teams that have beaten Virginia this year. Really improves their outlook on things.

Speaker 1 I saw one person, they're like,

Speaker 1 UNC should just never schedule a home game during fall break again. That was why.
Oh, that's why? Yeah, because the crowd wasn't there. That's why.

Speaker 1 That's why.

Speaker 4 Listen, UVA might be the worst. I think they probably are the worst power five school in terms of their football program.
I think their only win was against William and Mary this year.

Speaker 4 That's what I think Michigan State is. Michigan State's.

Speaker 1 Michigan State put Hitler on the board.

Speaker 4 They did. They did.

Speaker 4 It was a third-party Hitler.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was third-party Hitler, just so we were clear.

Speaker 4 You never want to get third-party Hitler.

Speaker 1 Well, Michigan State, like, that is just comically everything could have, everything that could have gone bad, they were like, you know what, let's throw a Hitler on there.

Speaker 4 You think they'd be able to blitz a little bit better if Hitler's up on the jumbo truck.

Speaker 1 Got him. Got him.
Yeah. No, Michigan, that was, that was,

Speaker 1 I love watching when Harbaugh knows he's got his guys and he knows that like his rivals suck. He's like, because they were still, they were still running offense at the end of the game, 49-0.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, fuck you. We're going to just fucking kill you.

Speaker 4 Right. So with the Michigan thing, real quick, I don't think that Harbaugh is ever going to be sorry about this.
I think that he's, he's, the only dumb thing is they got caught.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, I think a lot of college football teams probably do very similar things to this with the amount of money that coaches get paid and how, like, every season can put you on the hot seat in college football.

Speaker 4 And the way that these guys run their programs, I'm sure that it happens a lot.

Speaker 4 Like, there's a ton of teams in college football right now that are, like, circling up and being like, how can we be smarter about cheating so we don't get caught?

Speaker 1 The only problem for Michigan is they beat Ohio State two times in a row. They flew too close to Michigan.
If they don't beat Ohio State.

Speaker 1 This past season, because I like, hell hath no fury like an Ohio State fan that can't accept the fact they're worse than Michigan.

Speaker 1 They probably spent, there's probably hundreds of Ohio State fans that have spent the last year trying to figure out a way to prove that Michigan is cheating. Yeah.
And they found it. Yeah.
Congrats.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like that, that's really what your problem was.
You basically activated an entire army of college football fans that had been sitting back and being like, yo, we beat Michigan every year.

Speaker 1 Two years in a row. One year's fine.
Fluke. Two years, they're like, well, we got to figure out what's going on here.

Speaker 4 Going into the season, if you were to be told that there was one coach that was running a massive, like, nationwide surveillance program on their future opponents it would be harbaugh right

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 i would say jimbo but his team suck um

Speaker 4 i could see brian kelly maybe yeah brian kelly could do that but yeah harbaugh's the best history off camera guys yeah would be he'd be the top of the list yeah definitely it's hardball like this is this it falls perfectly in line with what we know about harbaugh and it actually in a sick way it makes me like him more yeah oh yeah i love him like what how many hours a week do you think jim harbaugh was dedicating to having having like secret meetings with his illegal video staff?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was probably doing like 10 hours a week. And also kind of like this Connor Stallions guy because he was a Michigan Super fan.
He's like, how can I be on the staff? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, I'll cheat.

Speaker 4 Listen, if somebody wants to work for part of my take and volunteer to go behind the scenes and sabotage Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift's relationship so that they're no longer a threat on the podcast charts, I'm not going to say no to that.

Speaker 4 Nope. Bring me a plan and I will entertain it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We will just be like, we didn't know.

Speaker 4 Just don't send us emails. Yeah, I don't want, I don't want to be included.
Hank will take care of all that for us. Yeah, Hank will be our fall guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. He's our Connor Stallion.

Speaker 4 It was all Hank's idea. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 As far as names for fall guys go, Connor Stallions is a pretty good one. Great name.
Because you don't forget it. Yeah.
So it's like, yeah, okay, I could see a guy named Connor Stallions doing this.

Speaker 4 Great name.

Speaker 1 Okay, should we do Hot Sea Cool Throne?

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Speaker 1 Henry.

Speaker 6 My hot seat, speaking of Bill Belichick and the Patriots, are the haters, the fan fictionists that were spreading rumors that he was going to be done after this year.

Speaker 1 Oh, we covered this on Monday. Sorry.
We don't want to talk about it. Yeah, but I need to talk about this now.

Speaker 6 I assumed you didn't talk about it, you know, as like, hey, we fucked up.

Speaker 4 His extension.

Speaker 1 Oh, you didn't listen to the show?

Speaker 4 No, because this they leaked that because he is definitely like under the microscope a little bit.

Speaker 1 Why else would you reverse hot seats?

Speaker 6 I appreciated the wires very much, Big Cat, but on Monday, I was out late after the wedding. I slept on a friend's couch, didn't charge my phone.
Got to the airport.

Speaker 6 My phone was about to die, so I had to get a charger. And instead of being able to listen to the podcast on the way home, I had to check it out.

Speaker 1 So that's your fault. That's not the wired headphones' fault.

Speaker 6 Well, it would have been nice to do two things at once.

Speaker 1 Well, did you see Aaron Rodgers on the Manning cast? He had a terrible microphone, then he was switched to wired headphones. I did not see that.

Speaker 4 He could have just played on speaker.

Speaker 6 On the flight? Yeah. Yeah, he should have.

Speaker 4 Just hold it right up to your ear.

Speaker 1 Let everyone know what's up. But yeah,

Speaker 4 are you ashamed that you would be listening to part of my take?

Speaker 6 No, I just think that's a very rude move. And if someone did that next to me, I would.

Speaker 4 If it was part of my take?

Speaker 6 Complain after the fact forever.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, we did cover it.

Speaker 6 And did you apologize?

Speaker 4 Apologize for what?

Speaker 4 We covered the facts as they are, which is that the New England Patriots leaked this news because their coach is on the hot seat, so they wanted to make it seem like he was not on the hot seat.

Speaker 4 Because what year was it that they also did this?

Speaker 1 2007, right after the Spygate stuff.

Speaker 6 But he remained coaching?

Speaker 1 Right, he did, yes. Also, I had some people hit me up, and we were way off on Bill Belichick's salary.
They said it's north of 20 million. What? Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's awesome.

Speaker 4 Good for him. I respect a man that can get paid $20 million a year and then just go into work miserable and scream at everybody.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of money. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Good for him. He deserves every penny.

Speaker 1 For two and five?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Are you back in?

Speaker 6 No, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're back in.

Speaker 6 Didn't really see much of the game, so it's hard in it.

Speaker 1 It's hard for me. You look good, Max Harbour.
It's very good.

Speaker 6 If we spoil against the Dolphins, then I'll be all the way back.

Speaker 4 This was a spoiler game.

Speaker 4 It just happened too early in the season to be known right now as a spoiler game.

Speaker 1 But we might look back.

Speaker 4 So we look back in December and be like, the Patriots spoiled the Bills back in October.

Speaker 1 So are you going to get all pumped up for Sunday? Yeah. Yeah, you should.

Speaker 1 Get your game. I always get pumped up.
It's just during the week where it's like, I don't know about always pumped up.

Speaker 6 I bet a lot on the Patriots every game this year. I convince myself, I get excited.

Speaker 4 What happened on last Friday's picks? Do you remember that? Oh, he went with the Bills. He bet on the Bills.
Okay. Interesting.
So you were down on the Patriots last week.

Speaker 6 Well, I specifically said if you were listening, I don't know if you caught that part, but I said

Speaker 6 because I wouldn't be watching.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm just going to pick the bills. Okay, well, it's good to have you back.

Speaker 6 It's great to be back. I miss you guys.

Speaker 4 I miss you too.

Speaker 6 And then

Speaker 6 my cool throne.

Speaker 4 That was such a pathetic pause that you did and looked at us. I always say it back.

Speaker 6 My cool throne is Ugandan football. Yeah, yeah.
So we're football guys through and through. Our colleague, Donnie, Donnie Does, came to us with a unique opportunity to help

Speaker 6 fund and grow the the game of football in Uganda. So I don't think you guys have been fully keyed in, but basically

Speaker 6 there's a bunch of pads in Texas that the Ugandan football league needs so that they can play and start a Ugandan football league.

Speaker 6 And we're going to help with the help of part of my cheesesteak, maybe Stella Blue Coffee, get those pads to Uganda. And then they're going to have our logo and stuff on their jerseys.
I love that.

Speaker 6 Billy Football is going out to coach with Donnie.

Speaker 1 I don't know how I feel about that.

Speaker 4 It's great. Billy Football, is he going to do more harm than good in educating them on how to play football?

Speaker 6 That remains to be determined.

Speaker 4 I think he could take a quarterback and just work one-on-one and like mechanics of the quarterback. But anything strategic, I hope Billy stays far away from.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for this.

Speaker 6 I'm excited. I mean, grow the game.
Maybe coaching is his true calling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, grow the game.

Speaker 6 But yeah, it was like Donnie was like basically, hey, do you guys want to get involved in the Ugandan football league? Yep. Easy.
No-brainer.

Speaker 4 Do we know what the name of the team is?

Speaker 6 I think we can have a say in that.

Speaker 1 The Ugandan Blakes. The Billies.
The Blakes. The Billies.
The Billy Blakes. Yeah, the Billies.
Just have them be the Billies.

Speaker 6 The Cheese Bills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just have them be the Billies. The Billy Footballs.
Okay. PFT, your hot seat?

Speaker 4 Got a couple of hot seats. My first one is Daylight.

Speaker 4 Daylight's on the hot seat because this weekend, remember, everybody, set your clocks back, fall back, spring forward, forward, fall back. So we're losing now our daylight this weekend.

Speaker 4 I hate this time of the year because you leave work and it's 5 o'clock sometimes and it feels like it's 7 or 8 o'clock at night.

Speaker 4 You don't really get to see the sun, so soak it up for the next couple days while you can because it's Saturday night at 2 a.m. Yep.
2 a.m. clocks go back.

Speaker 4 My other hot seat is Hank.

Speaker 4 Because Hank. I want to say first and foremost, you did a great job planning out this studio.
You did a great job helping get this office set up,

Speaker 4 but you really fucked up one big part of the office.

Speaker 1 The parking lot. What about it?

Speaker 4 Hank didn't think to take a look at the giant pole that's in the middle of the parking lot and put, I don't know, maybe some sort of big red blinking light on top of it to let people know, hey, don't run aground here.

Speaker 4 Because some people drove their brand new car that they bought last Tuesday

Speaker 4 right into the pole today.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. The first time he came to the parking lot.

Speaker 4 I had a telephone pole in the parking lot the first time that I was in here this morning.

Speaker 1 How did you do that?

Speaker 4 There was a truck coming, like a big truck coming down this one part of the road, and I had to drive in between, I had to drive through a parking space to get out of the way of this truck.

Speaker 4 On one side of the parking spot was a car. On the other side was a giant telephone pole.

Speaker 1 How giant?

Speaker 4 It was a standard size telephone pole.

Speaker 1 It would be the biggest baseball bat of all time. Did it come out of nowhere on you?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it really did because it didn't have a, as

Speaker 4 certain towers that prevent this sort of thing would have a big flashing light on top.

Speaker 1 Was it see-through?

Speaker 4 It hit me on my blind side, which is the back right

Speaker 4 passenger side door, and it put a pretty bad scrape in.

Speaker 4 Jesus.

Speaker 1 I've never bought a new. Okay, I'm not sure.
So you like, you, you, you, you drove into it head-on, or you, like, scraped it.

Speaker 4 It's side-swiped.

Speaker 6 Or it just came at you.

Speaker 4 The, the telephone pole T-boned me.

Speaker 1 Thank God you're not a pilot. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's not good.

Speaker 4 It's the only new car I've ever bought in my life, and it lasted seven days. And now I've got a big dent and scratch in the side.
So hopefully I'll get that taken care of. But

Speaker 4 not the best. So then I come to the studio, and we've got part of my take.
We've got PM TV that we're filming to show our reaction to the studio and all that.

Speaker 4 I came in and I was very excited to see the studio. It looks awesome.
And then afterwards, I was like, you know what? That might have been a little low energy, but I just want on record.

Speaker 4 It's because I just crashed my car in the parking lot. That's like five minutes ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn.

Speaker 4 Not a great sign, but we're going to adapt. We're going to overcome.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And that sucks.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. There's a pole right there.
Yeah, that is. They got a picture of the pole pulled up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's pretty.

Speaker 1 You know what? I can see it. That is a poll.
Yeah. And it came out of no.

Speaker 1 You shouldn't drive your car into it.

Speaker 4 We need to put a warning sign on that pole.

Speaker 1 Can we do that?

Speaker 1 We need to

Speaker 1 take PFT's license.

Speaker 6 Like the yellow thing that's painted on it. That's that's usually the sign for

Speaker 6 warning.

Speaker 4 I can see it. Well, now there's a little bit of red on the side, too, for the car.

Speaker 1 It's a pole.

Speaker 4 I love that car, too.

Speaker 1 I just

Speaker 1 drove too close to the pole.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you could say that.

Speaker 1 When you say ham.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I scraped the entire back right passenger side door on it. And the worst part is, as I'm going through, you hear the crunch, and then you stop.

Speaker 4 And then you're like, well, fuck, how do I get out of here? Yeah. And then you hit reverse, and it crunches it again.
And then I stopped again, and I hit forward again to pull away.

Speaker 4 I was just, I was just banging this pole, I was just jackhammering this pole in my car. Damn.
Um, so sorry, okay, but maybe next time, I just don't want it to happen to somebody else.

Speaker 4 I want this to be a teachable moment. We should put a sign on that pole being like, hey, heads up,

Speaker 4 don't drive your car into it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, is that too much to ask?

Speaker 6 No, yeah, I think we can, we can, we'll just label it pole.

Speaker 1 You think as a kicker, you would have

Speaker 4 I doinked it, yeah. I actually double-doinked it because I went forward and then backwards again into it.
Yikes. Yeah.

Speaker 6 My cool throw. I'm going to puff that out.

Speaker 1 And this is the first time you've been driving in like seven years?

Speaker 4 No, I drove a little, but I like rented cars.

Speaker 1 I'm a good driver.

Speaker 4 In fact, one of the best things I like about my car is it's got a heads-up display, so I feel like I'm a pilot when I drive.

Speaker 1 It's probably got alert new shoes. Don't new cars have like sensors.
If I get within 10 feet of something, it starts beeping like crazy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, it's beeping like crazy the whole time because

Speaker 4 there was a car in front of me. There was a car to my side.

Speaker 4 There was a truck driving behind me at the time.

Speaker 4 Do we have a security camera?

Speaker 1 We're going to find out.

Speaker 4 I would love to see if we have that footage of me just pulling straight into that pole.

Speaker 4 I'm a great driver, though. I am.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is curses. So curses on the cool throne, there's two curses going on right now that affected the Houston Astros last night.

Speaker 4 One, the curse of Mattress Mack. Yep.
That apparently was real. And then the second, the curse of Ted Cruz.
Yes.

Speaker 4 So Ted decided he was going to go to the game, and he tweeted out that he was going to be there. And everybody in Texas was like, no, Ted, please don't go because you're 0-4.
Very funny.

Speaker 4 At games that you attended. Ted Cruz said, nope, I'm still going to go.
And now they're 0-5 in playoff games that Ted Cruz has attended. I think that's just this year.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, I would storm the Capitol if I was an actual.

Speaker 1 Yeah, damn. That's tough for old Teddy Boy.
All right. My hot seat is NBA Analysts.
So, NBA Analysts, because the NBA started tonight,

Speaker 1 so they don't have anything to talk about now that the games are being played.

Speaker 1 And then, Giannis signed a three-year extension. Yeah.
Which is, if you're an NBA analyst, you got to be so pissed. That was going to be so much of your conversation and content in the next year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got it.

Speaker 4 That was going to be like your number one storyline. You just got to fast forward to Kobe versus MJ versus LeBron.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just like the double whammy of like, oh, now we have to talk about games and not free agency. And also, Giannis is going to stay.

Speaker 4 Well, to do, they're going to do half an hour blocks of just strict, straight-up Wimbinyama on this, and be like, How is this guy doing this?

Speaker 1 I'd like to see the NBA guys be like, but if Giannis didn't sign it, where would he have gone?

Speaker 4 Where would we like to see Giannis?

Speaker 1 Yeah, just keep going forward. Just don't let the facts ruin what you were planning on doing all summer long.

Speaker 4 It seems like Giannis enjoys Milwaukee. It seems like he really likes that town, and it breaks people's brains.
It's like, no, he should want to be in New York. Yeah.
No, no, he should.

Speaker 1 This is bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He should want to be my.

Speaker 4 Is Is Giannis at Tatubacomco? Jake, I know that. Yep.

Speaker 4 Is Giannis a coward for not wanting to play on the Lakers or the Knicks? Many people are asking. That should get you through at least a week.
Many people are asking.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne

Speaker 1 plug God tonight, if you're in Chicago, I'm hosting a comedy show at the Laugh Factory. So this is something that we're going to be doing every month.
PFT will host it at some point.

Speaker 1 I think Nick is going to host it. Brandon even said we wanted to support some of the guys that are still, they're trying to be stand-up comedians.

Speaker 1 So I was like, we'll just do a comedy show once a month. So Laugh Factory, 7 p.m.
sold out, 9 o'clock has some tickets. Come out.
I'm hosting it. It's going to be a great time.

Speaker 1 You got material?

Speaker 1 No, I'm hosting it.

Speaker 4 A tight five?

Speaker 1 Like a tight two. Okay, hosting usually, they usually spit.
Yeah. But it'll be like, last time I was here, I did this show because I had to pay my bookie.

Speaker 1 This time, I'm doing it to try to help everyone in the office.

Speaker 4 You should just be really,

Speaker 4 You should just be really bad. That way everybody else looks funnier.

Speaker 1 We're trying to gaslight Brandon into hosting it and smashing a watermelon. That'll be good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Which also we should probably, whoever loses our picks thing, like that definitely's on the table for the Vegas show.

Speaker 4 Smashing a watermelon, going full Gallagher.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just full Gallagher. Gallagher was great.

Speaker 4 If you don't think Gallagher was funny, he was hilarious. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hilarious, dude. So buy tickets, Laugh Factory tonight, Wednesday night, 9 p.m.
No baseball on,

Speaker 1 no NFL on. So yeah, come on out.
We still have a few tickets left for the late show. It's going to be fun.
And like I said, we're going to keep doing it. So everyone will get a chance.

Speaker 1 Maybe Hank will host one.

Speaker 4 Who from Barcelona is?

Speaker 6 I mean, if I keep losing this competition, I might have to

Speaker 6 get five minutes and start warming up.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Mook's a very funny stand-up comedian. And when he was like...
Thinking about moving with everyone here, I was like, dude,

Speaker 1 we'll host one of these once a month. And I think Nick also wants to keep trying to stand up.
So I was like, yeah, we'll host it and we'll have everyone rotate. Donnie will host one.
You'll host one.

Speaker 1 Brandon. So yeah, it'll be good.
It's good for the good for the squad.

Speaker 1 So yeah, buy tickets if you have not and you want to come out and see me. And obviously everyone here is invited.
So come on out. All right, Jake, hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 9 My hot seat is coaching youth football. Marcus Freeman, the head coach from Notre Dame, he did a little reversal on a beat reporter for Notre Dame, Tim O'Malley.

Speaker 9 He got to ask him questions because the reporter coaches Marcus Freeman's son's youth team.

Speaker 1 It was awesome. It was an awesome clip.

Speaker 9 Here was the question. My turn? Okay, two things.
All right. Second, third grade championship game, okay? Two trips to the red zone, zero points.

Speaker 9 One player was a reverse pass that was intercepted in the red zone. You were the offensive coordinator there.
Thoughts on the red zone play call.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he also, his second question was: his son, Marcus Freeman's son, Nico Freeman, was like, Nico Freeman ripped off an 80-yard run.

Speaker 1 Afterwards, though, it was called back because he didn't have the appropriate amount of flags.

Speaker 1 Whose fault was that? Whose responsibility? That's great. Yeah, we don't see that every day.

Speaker 1 I like to ask questions to the media.

Speaker 4 It's just two flags, right? I think it's two flags.

Speaker 1 You have to have one flag on and he was like, what happened?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that seems like a pretty bad coaching mistake that he would make.

Speaker 9 Yeah, so that was funny.

Speaker 1 My Cool Thrones. I'll put him on the hot seat in the quarter.

Speaker 9 My Cool Thrones Colts tickets.

Speaker 1 They're home once again. Yep.

Speaker 9 Against the New Orleans Saints. So let's brainstorm some ideas.
We had some great submissions for the Jerseys last week.

Speaker 4 I want to do Blake's. Just naming Blake's.
Blake exclusive. So if your name is Blake and you're a Colts fan and you want to go to this game and get sideline passes.

Speaker 9 Okay. How do we give proof that they're Blake?

Speaker 4 Picture of your ID. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Social Security card. Social Security card.
And credit card. Because anyone could fake an ID.

Speaker 1 Birth certificate, Social Security card.

Speaker 9 All right. PNC internet bars still sports.

Speaker 1 We're definitely going to get a couple social security cards.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 4 Also include the name of the street you grew up on, your mother's maiden name. And your dog,

Speaker 1 your first pet.

Speaker 4 First pet, yeah, please do that.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's get to our interview. Someone that we've wanted to have on for a while.
Great interview.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, someone we probably should have had on before,

Speaker 1 but We waited specifically for this moment so he could be the first guest in the new Pardon My Take studio. So he's part of Pardon My Take history.
It is ES Pan Analyst. How many years in the NFL? 11?

Speaker 11 12.

Speaker 1 12 years in the NFL. I didn't look that up.
I just guessed. 12 years in the NFL.
It is Dan Orlovsky. Dan, thank you for joining us.
Welcome. You are the first guest.

Speaker 1 I hope that you feel as acclaimed as you should right now.

Speaker 11 Yeah, obviously, I agree. It's probably a year or two late.
So finally getting the invite.

Speaker 11 I'm honored and humbled.

Speaker 1 good to i'm thankful to be your guys first yeah i've always wanted to be always will remember us first yeah a little bit painful but maybe towards the end of the interview it'll feel a lot better yeah yeah two at the same time being someone's first with two people is it's it's a unique experience it's so we we want to talk some some ball we want to talk some nfl we're going to obviously talk some blog posts as well eventually um but let's start with some nfl talk Let's start with some NFL talk because I like you and how you analyze the game because you obviously watch the tape, you know what you're talking about, and guys like us, idiots, get things wrong all the time.

Speaker 1 So first question, who's the guy that we get wrong the most right now? Who's the guy who's playing better than what everyone in the media and idiots like us are like? That guy sucks.

Speaker 1 And you're like, I'm watching the tape. It's not him.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I mean, right now it probably still is Stafford. I know for a long time it was Stafford.

Speaker 11 Stafford is throwing throwing the absolute piss out of the football. It's, I mean, he's throwing it just as good as maybe he's ever thrown it.
Now, maybe it's a little bit because of LA and the Rams.

Speaker 11 And I think they're either three and three or two and four. So they're obviously on the outside looking in mid-October, but he's playing unbelievable football.

Speaker 11 I'd also say this, and I'm not like a massive,

Speaker 11 this guy's the future of the football team, but I do think Desmond Ritter has been better than what people think.

Speaker 11 He's been better, dude. Like,

Speaker 11 there's been tough moments. I called their London game against Jacksonville in the first half.
It was awful, but he just wouldn't throw the ball. And I think there's a lot of growth in the last month.

Speaker 11 He's a third-round pick. So people expecting him to be Matt Ryan slow down.
But I do think he's had moments where you're like, all right, dude, 90% of the time, this kid's played pretty good football.

Speaker 11 And then there's 10% that they got to figure out, can they get rid of it or whatnot?

Speaker 11 But like last week, I thought he played really good against Tampa outside outside of like some silly red zone fumble. So I think Ritter, because everyone's like, you know, I'm on a greeny green.

Speaker 11 He's like, Atlanta, trade for Justin Fields. And I'm like,

Speaker 11 I don't know if that's the answer. I think they like Desmond Ritter.
I'd probably say Ritter.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. From the one to the 99-yard line, Desmond Ritter played pretty well last week.
And he didn't throw any red zone picks, but he did fumble the ball twice. on the one.

Speaker 4 It's hard to separate that because as a fan, you watch Desmond Ritter play, and he actually makes you think that he is worse than he is because you want to pull your hair out when you get so close to the end zone and then you keep fumbling.

Speaker 4 But you're saying that overall, like the quality of throws that he's making, the way he's running the offense, you're saying he's actually not as bad as we think he is.

Speaker 11 Yeah, absolutely. And like even those like fumbles on the one-yard line, you know, one of them is a, you know, fumbled snap with the center.
You know, that is, how often are we going to see that?

Speaker 11 Like, is that really something you go, man, we, we got to get that fixed from the quarterback? Like twice.

Speaker 1 Twice he fumbled with the one.

Speaker 11 Yeah, but I'm saying one of them is the fumbled snap. And then one, he's running with the football.

Speaker 11 And like, again, you put it in your left hand or you cover it with two hands and those are easily fixable.

Speaker 11 Can you throw it to the right place? Are you making the right throws? Can you make some big time throws? Two weeks in a row, we've seen big time throws late in games.

Speaker 11 So again, I'm not sitting here telling like Atlanta, you don't have to think about quarterback next year, but right now, I don't know. I think they're four and two.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Four and two.

Speaker 11 You got to be sitting there going, okay, through eight or nine games as a starter, there's some really good moments.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're four and three.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 1 At this point in the season, yeah, it's like every team, you know, the really good teams, the really bad teams, and everyone else is like, they're three and four, four and three, something around there.

Speaker 4 And I feel like, I feel like their schedule for the rest of the season is super favorable. Like, it wouldn't shock me if the Falcons ended up winning 10 or 11 games this year.

Speaker 11 Completely agree. The defense is awesome.
The defense is absolutely awesome. They can run it.
We know that. They remembered that Drake London played on their team.

Speaker 11 Kyle Pitts is starting to get a little healthy.

Speaker 11 So I just think like the, if he plays over the next, what, 10 weeks or so, like he has the last three or four weeks, last month, they'll, they'll win 10 games for sure.

Speaker 4 I will consider tempering my Desmond Ritter hate right now. For me, it's mostly just about wanting to see Heineke get in the game because he's more fun to watch.
Objection.

Speaker 1 I totally agree with that. I totally agree with that.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 11 I was on, again, on the call. I was like, Heineke's got to have, at least be in the conversation for the second half.
And Arthur Smith was like, absolutely not. That's why he's the coach.

Speaker 11 But I love Heineke playing for sure. But I think Ritter's played good.

Speaker 1 So great answer on Desmond Ritter because that's definitely someone that we're like, easy fix, start Taylor Heineke or trade for Kirk Cousins. Here's another one.

Speaker 1 What offensive

Speaker 1 coordinator or like play calling scheme is doing the biggest disservice to a quarterback right now?

Speaker 1 Again, you watch the tape, so I need these answers because we, again, we are very dumb and we're like, oh, he sucks. Stop calling that play.

Speaker 1 There's a lot more involved to it that you're able to see that we aren't.

Speaker 11 All right. So there's a couple of disservices.
I have to go to nfl.com and actually look at the offensive.

Speaker 11 So, Kenny Pickett in Pittsburgh, you know, like if you Pittsburgh beats the Rams, and our producer friend of all, is like, What did you see? And I'm like, They threw the ball to George Pickens.

Speaker 11 Yeah, if they didn't, and all they're doing is throwing back shoulder fades to George Pickens. So, there's such a lack of creativity in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 11 There's definitely a disservice because I do think Kenny's had some like bright moments. Um,

Speaker 11 Houston, Indy, Tennessee, they've been good. Kins had a bit of Chargers.
Oh, um,

Speaker 11 Commanders.

Speaker 11 I think Bienneme and Washington a little bit just because,

Speaker 11 I mean, early on, it was working because Sam is just outrageously aggressive with the football and they were doing really cool protection stuff.

Speaker 11 Now, teams have figured out that's what they want to do. And instead of teams like trying to pressure the like tackles, they're just blitzing or pressuring up the middle of the offensive line.

Speaker 11 And it's a disaster right now. So

Speaker 11 I think a little bit just protection-wise, and Washington's got to get fixed. I do think Matt LaFleur and Green Bay, I love Matt.
He's a boy of mine. I've known him forever.

Speaker 11 There's way too many like predictable plays on tape. You know, they're just like when they get in condensed splits, here comes stick route.

Speaker 11 So I think they got to open that up a little bit more for Jordan. I think Jordan needs to play better as well.

Speaker 11 Certainly, when Justin was playing at the beginning of the year in Chicago with Luke Getzi, that was stunk.

Speaker 11 Those are probably the main ones.

Speaker 1 Okay, I was basically fishing for you to just figure out a way to tell me that Justin Fields is not the problem. Those were the first two questions.

Speaker 1 I could have just directly said, is he the problem?

Speaker 11 I don't think that Justin is the problem with what we saw in the first month. Now, Justin, obviously, I talked about that.
Like he didn't have

Speaker 11 conviction. He didn't trust what his eyes were seeing.
I think the unique situation with Green or Chicago right now is this. It's hard to see how Justin Fields is their quarterback in 2024.

Speaker 11 And I'm a Justin Fields guy. Like they were halfway through the season, just about.
He had a month where he didn't play good.

Speaker 11 Then he had like two or three games when he started to show it, and now he's hurt. How long is he going to be out?

Speaker 11 I just think with where they're trending draft slot-wise as well, it now, hopefully, I'm wrong, but um,

Speaker 11 I think that this is why I was so bullish on Justin. Like, dude, if you took Justin Fields and you put him in Philadelphia, he's playing.

Speaker 11 I don't know if he's playing MVP the way that Jalen did, but he's playing in a way we're talking about him being like, oh my gosh, dude, this dude's a weapon and you can use him in so many different ways.

Speaker 11 They just didn't do that until like the fourth game this season. So

Speaker 11 I think it's going to be tough for Chicago unless something changes over the next two months to sit there and go pound the table, no questions asked.

Speaker 11 Justin's going to be the guy just because how disappointing the first six or seven weeks has gone.

Speaker 4 I always see a cycle with quarterbacks like Justin Fields. And maybe you can tell me if I'm reading into this too much, but they get into the league and

Speaker 4 they start to make some plays with their feet, right? He's a tremendous running threat. So he makes some plays with his feet, whether or not it's a designed run or he scrambles out of the pocket.

Speaker 4 He starts playing really well, doing crazy stuff. Everyone loves him.

Speaker 4 And then going into the next year, they say, Well, we want him to be around for a while, so we're going to make sure that he turns into a pocket passer.

Speaker 4 And then you lose all the good stuff that he was doing initially that made him so much more of a threat, including, you know, like it opens up a lot of stuff.

Speaker 4 If you have a quarterback that's doing designed runs, it opens up stuff in not only the running game, but also the passing game that you can do.

Speaker 4 And so then they try to dial it back, and then they realize, oh, yeah, remember when he was really good? Let's get back to doing that really good stuff.

Speaker 4 And it's like a never-ending cycle with some of these great quarterbacks that are dynamic with their legs.

Speaker 4 Am I way out of bounds to think that that's what's happening?

Speaker 11 Not at all. And that's kind of like the beauty of what we're seeing a little bit in Baltimore right now is like Baltimore hasn't taken that away from Lamar.
They still run Lamar.

Speaker 11 Now it's not nearly as much as they did early on. And so I always say it this way, like, are they good enough or do they have a skill set that they can survive in the NFL as young players?

Speaker 11 Like, you're just trying to survive as a quarterback. And Justin obviously did that.
Then can those skills be used to allow him to thrive? I just don't think that was the case.

Speaker 11 Like, I just did something for Buffalo. They're asking, well, do they need to run

Speaker 11 Josh Allen a little bit more? Cause the offense has been a little stagnant. It's always a fascinating, like,

Speaker 11 individual kind of perception. Jalen Hurts is not running nearly as much in Philadelphia as this year.
I say it this way, dude, if you're going to take those guys.

Speaker 11 And part of the reason why you're going to take them and draft them and then pay them is because of that skill set, then you have to let them use it.

Speaker 11 And maybe it's not all the time or as much as they did when they were younger, and you invest that finance in them. But, dude, at some point, you have to let LeBron go to the rim.

Speaker 11 Like at some point, you have to let what those guys do best be what they do best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you save it forever, you're like, well, we wasted it. So, all right.
So, you did something on Josh Allen and the Bills. What is wrong with the Bills? Because we obviously love Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 He's a friend of ours.

Speaker 1 Every time the Bills lose, we get a million tweets being like, say Josh Allen stinks. I do not think he stinks.

Speaker 11 It's crazy to say he stinks, but it also is crazy to ignore the fact that there's something wrong with their offense and it probably has been kind of wrong for you know the back half of last year and this year yeah i i think josh is an absolute superstar um i and i'm a huge fan of like him as a player we got the golf together this year he hit me with buffalo like 19 times uh so that was a good time i think like with with josh and buffalo's offense it is one of those things where there are moments when they play and he plays as good as you can.

Speaker 11 And it is a little bit when he pulls himself back. You know, when we sat with Brandon Bean last year, he's like,

Speaker 11 I got to get Josh from to stop being so competitive. I got to curb his competitiveness.
But what makes him great is that, in part, you know, the I can make any plays.

Speaker 11 It reminds me of Stafford when I was with Matthew when he was younger. So it's like there's moments when Josh plays.

Speaker 11 You know, I always say, dude, at some point, you have to play the way the defense is going to ask you to play.

Speaker 11 Like, no matter how talented you are, Patrick is the best at doing it in that capacity right now um

Speaker 11 sometimes josh like i just did a you know new england blitzed them a ton and josh was like instead of throwing the hot route i'm just going to run around and make a play well when you play against really well coached defenses they don't let you do that and so i think that's part of it i do think that they put need to put them under center and go play action way more they just don't um

Speaker 11 And I think like the diversity of their past game is a little bit too Steph centric.

Speaker 11 You know, it's like Steph, run a cool route route downfield i'd like to see more gabe davis and crossing routes and and some of that three layered throws that they don't do enough of what all right so off of that why the hell do quarterbacks not go under center anymore is it comfort

Speaker 1 is it comfort is it like college schemes like i yeah college schemes like what is it because it does feel like they're just handicapping themselves by not giving the defense multiple looks Yeah, I totally agree.

Speaker 11 I think one of it is lazy coaching, if I'm just being transparent. Like, you can't run RPOs from center.
Right. From under center.
And RPOs are basically like cheat plays in my eyes with football.

Speaker 11 It's like you don't have to, as a play caller, you feel like you don't have to make the perfect play call because in so many ways, the play is almost impossible to defend consistently, especially if you've got man-beating concepts.

Speaker 11 That's, you know, you play man, you could stop RPOs and then teams have designed man-beating concepts.

Speaker 11 But I feel like with RPOs, the coach could always be like, well, you should have just handed it off or you should have pulled it and threw it or, you know, and so I think that because of the obsession with RPOs, we don't go under center nearly as much.

Speaker 11 Um, I do think the quick passing game and the desire for coaches because the offensive line play is not nearly as good as it was

Speaker 11 15-20 years ago. So, I think they try to cover it up with the quick passing game.

Speaker 11 I also think this: like a lot of coaches don't know how to teach it, like a lot of coaches don't know how to teach a drop back pass game from under center or a play action pass game, you know, because a seven-step drop from drop back is a nine-step or an eight-step drop from under center.

Speaker 11 Can you time it up and teach it and all that? I don't know how many coaches have like a, like a, like a really master's degree or PhD in teaching it.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. I mean, it is, it's nuts to see it like kind of basically be taken out of the game totally.

Speaker 11 I hate it. I think it hurts everybody, too.
I don't think it hurts just quarterbacks. I think it hurts.
offensive linemen. I think it hurts wide receivers.
I think it hurts running backs.

Speaker 11 Like, I think it hurts everybody. And I wish that teams did it more.

Speaker 11 Like, if you look really really good offenses take patrick out because he's a freak you know if you look at the really good offenses in the league it's like well

Speaker 11 does miami do it not much but because miami's offense is so unique with tyreek's speed and jalen speed but like buffalo for a month they were the best offense in the nfl they were doing it a ton baltimore is doing it more right now cleveland does it a good amount jacksonville does it a good amount um Philadelphia does it a little bit, but their RPO game, because their offensive line, it's so centric.

Speaker 11 Detroit does it a a ton. Minnesota just put on a clinic on Monday night to do it.
Atlanta does it a ton. So San Francisco does it a ton.

Speaker 11 Seattle does it a ton.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was a good offense.

Speaker 4 I want to go down south real quick to New Orleans. I'm going to make two points here.
I think that Derek Carr is

Speaker 4 not nearly as good as he used to be. I think that he's

Speaker 4 suffering from something. I don't know if it's injuries that have mounted up.

Speaker 4 He doesn't look like the same playmaker that he used to be.

Speaker 4 And also the offense under Carmichael doesn't look great overall. Is it time for Jameis Winston?

Speaker 11 I don't know if it's time yet, but the fact that it's become a conversation and a fair one is probably the biggest issue. So the Derek Carr thing for me is interesting.
I've always been a car guy.

Speaker 11 I've always thought he was better than people thought. Two things.

Speaker 11 This was something that's... I guess I didn't think about it in the moment, but I think about it now, especially after last week's game.
He said he'd chose New Orleans in part because of the defense.

Speaker 11 So he's like,

Speaker 11 every quarterback that wins Super Bowls, it's because they have a great defense. And I think part of that, if you watch him play,

Speaker 11 he's thinking, I have a great defense, so I don't need to be aggressive with the ball. I just check it down, don't make a bad play.

Speaker 11 It's almost like watching a rookie play where it's like, you're scared to,

Speaker 11 whatever the word is, scared, hesitant. You're so timid to throw the ball downfield and push the ball downfield and be aggressive with it.

Speaker 11 I mean, there's some plays against Jacksonville where the receivers are three or four yards downfield. Derek's already throwing the check down to Kamara.

Speaker 11 Like, we're not even trying to let the play develop. And I don't know if that's because he has such belief in that defense, who I think is really good as well.

Speaker 11 And their offensive line hasn't been great this year, but

Speaker 11 they got to get it figured out for sure because those skill position players are so much better than they're being given the chance to be. I think just Derek needs to.

Speaker 11 Again, like say, screw it, dude. I'm just going to throw it.

Speaker 4 You know, I'm going to be way more aggressive with the football and believe that if I give it away the defense is good enough yeah i've noticed a trend with us in both the taylor heineke conversation and also us wanting jameis winston to play like when it's somebody else's team it's like we're renting a car it's like yeah we want to we want to just take their their nice toy out for a little run because it's so much fun to watch jameis winson play but we don't have to like actually root for him as our starting quarterback all the time yes but he would be so much more fun they're going with a safety pick right now with car i would like to see there be just a full dose of jameis at least for one weekend just let him i just yeah i don't disagree i just think they got to get Derek to be like, there, cut it loose, man.

Speaker 11 Like, stop playing so, so hesitant, so timid, and just trust what your eyes are telling you. Because right now, I'm telling you, there's plays you don't even see his eyes look downfield.

Speaker 11 He's just looking for Kamara to check it down.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
You said something there that you thought Derek Carr was better than people said. This is a tough question.
Who's worse than people say?

Speaker 11 Who is not as good of a player as what people say?

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 11 that's putting me on the spot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. It's a tough question.
I'll start Russell Wilson.

Speaker 11 Yeah, Russell, Russell's been fine this year, but he ain't Russell Wilson anymore. I think that's okay for us to say now.
You know, like it's the play just doesn't warrant big-time quarterback play.

Speaker 11 And it's been, it's going to go down as the worst trade in NFL history. So it does, unless something drastically changes.

Speaker 4 When did Russell cross that line from being Russell Wilson to no longer Russell Wilson?

Speaker 4 Because it's easy to say when he started playing for the Broncos, but there's some people that said it was like the last year, the last two years in season.

Speaker 1 This is when he broke his hand.

Speaker 11 Yeah, yeah, that last, remember with the Monday night football, the two-minute drill on

Speaker 11 grass on,

Speaker 11 yeah, kind of like that timeframe. Because I think, so it's 23, 22, 20, his 2020 year was unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable, yeah.

Speaker 11 Like, yeah, his 21 year,

Speaker 11 uh, when he went through a little bit of the injury stuff and started to play really poorly on the back half of it, that's kind of when he started to fall off for sure.

Speaker 11 So, this is this is you know, almost two seasons, two full seasons of bad ball, you know, pretty, pretty pedestrian ball.

Speaker 11 So I think him,

Speaker 11 you know, this is a disappointing guy for me. I was so high on Kyler Murray coming out of college.

Speaker 11 I know he hasn't played this year, but Kyler Murray, just with the way he's played and kind of the way that things have been,

Speaker 11 I guess, handled,

Speaker 11 he's not been nearly as good as I thought.

Speaker 1 I'm a big baker, guys. Yeah, I put you on the spot.

Speaker 1 You know, Jordan loves. Jordan loves

Speaker 1 he stinks. That's a good point.

Speaker 11 He's been disappointing.

Speaker 11 You know,

Speaker 11 I said Brock Purdy, you know, like I was on TV and I said, if Mac Jones is in San Francisco, he's playing like Brock Purdy and everyone was like, you're the worst person in the world.

Speaker 11 I think Brock Purdy's a good player and he's played elite level football. But like we have to stop thinking that every quarterback can just

Speaker 11 like if when they're in a great place and they got great people around them, they can still be elite producers and playing at an elite level without being an elite player individually of themselves.

Speaker 11 So, um,

Speaker 11 you know, I don't, I don't know if Brock is as lights out as, you know, Patrick Mahomes would be in that offense.

Speaker 1 Brock is a perfect. I love Brock for the discourse because he, every game, it's going to be basically like he's a, uh, we've fallen into this.
We called him a top 10 quarterback.

Speaker 1 He was playing like a top 10 quarterback in the first quarter. That's all you can go up there.
Right, right. But then he obviously has had a little bit of a blip here in the last two games.

Speaker 1 And now it's like, see, he stinks. Obviously, the truth's somewhere in the middle, but Brock Purdy, like,

Speaker 1 was it as easy as like Trent Williams is out and Debo's out? And that's the difference?

Speaker 1 Like, you can see that it when he doesn't have the full arsenal of superstars, because the Niners are superstars. They have a superstar roster.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I mean, outside of like three guys on planet Earth, most guys need really good players around them to be awesome quarterbacks. It's just the reality of the business.

Speaker 11 So again, everyone, like you guys probably know, like everyone says I like every quarterback and whatnot.

Speaker 11 I actually thought Brock played pretty good on Monday night outside of the last like six minutes. And even like his interception, the first interception,

Speaker 11 that's a throw that he made three times in that game. He just throws it so early, which is one of the things he does well.
He just threw too early, and the receiver never got to the ball.

Speaker 11 Now it's a pick, but you don't sit, I don't sit there and go like, gosh, that's such a bad throw, Brock, or you can't throw that ball to that player. He's thrown it to the right place.

Speaker 11 He just throws it so early that the receiver never gets to it. Now, would that have been Debo instead of Jennings? I I would think so.
So I don't know.

Speaker 11 And then the second interception, dude, there's like 20 seconds on the clock or 28 seconds. He needs to find a way to get 25 or 30 yards.
He's just finding a way to get a chunk. So

Speaker 11 I actually thought outside of really like that last interception, even those two interceptions, I don't sit there and go, oh, those are awful. I thought he played good.

Speaker 11 So I just think he's a good player.

Speaker 11 I don't think that we could sit here right now and say like Brock Purdy, give him 200 million bucks and we're good.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Here's fair.

Speaker 4 Here's another trick question for you. There's no chance you could have prepared for this one.
Give us a list of your five quarterbacks right now who are perfectly average.

Speaker 4 Who are the most mid-quarterbacks in the NFL? Guys who, like, you don't really know where they are as quarterbacks. So,

Speaker 4 yeah, I'd be curious to hear that because I've always put Kirk Cousins in that conversation. Right now, actually,

Speaker 1 he's playing great.

Speaker 4 Kirk Cousins is definitely. Troy Aikman said he was playing like a top 10 quarterback.
I actually, I think I agree with Troy Aikman on that one. I think he is playing like a top 10 10 guy.

Speaker 4 But if we're listing the middle five quarterbacks in the NFL, who do you got?

Speaker 11 Yeah. So I've always said like there's like six guys that are like scheme independent, people independent more often than not.

Speaker 11 And then there's this group of like eight dudes who, if they've got the right play caller and, you know, a good defense and the right support people, meaning tight ends, wide receivers, all that stuff, like they'll play like a top 10 quarterback.

Speaker 11 I'll give you the guys that I think are in that world, like, okay, that mid grouping type of thing. I love the phrasing.

Speaker 1 It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing to be a mid.
It just means you got to have a decent team around. I love mids.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 Okay. Number one, Dak Prescott, for sure.
Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 Good call. Never,

Speaker 11 Jared Goff. No, that's wrong.

Speaker 1 That's wrong. You don't watch the tape.

Speaker 1 You're one for two.

Speaker 11 Kirk Cousins, for sure.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 11 Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 11 And Geno Smith. These would be my top five guys that are like, again, I think that those guys could play as high as like a top seven, top eight, top nine quarterback.

Speaker 11 Or if, you know, my tackle's out and my number one receiver's not there, I might play as a top 12 or top 13 dude.

Speaker 4 What I love about that is that you listed Dak Prescott as your number one most mid-quarterback in the NFL. That just confirms everything we've seen.

Speaker 4 That makes me feel good. And it also makes me feel good knowing that we can put that on a quote card and then everyone's going to get so mad at you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 No, that one, that one, make sure we put it on social and it'll go over well.

Speaker 1 Well, the genesis of this show is essentially like, as long as we can get a couple answers right, we'll never show our work.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, remember when you're in, like, middle school and you're like looking at the back of the book for the math answers and you scribble some stuff.

Speaker 1 It's like, I don't know how I got this answer, but I got it. I got the Dak Prescott is mid.
So we got a lot of money.

Speaker 11 I got a son like that right now. I got a sixth grade son like that.
Like, dude, how did you get this? I don't know. I just did.
Yeah, right, right.

Speaker 1 So it feels good to be confirmed with that. All right.
Another question about the league right now. Outside of the usual suspects, so let's take out the 49ers, Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 1 Let's take out what the Lions are doing. Let's take out what the Dolphins are doing.
Who's running the most creative stuff on offense that we wouldn't expect?

Speaker 1 Where you watch the tape and you're like, these guys are doing something that no one else is doing and they're doing it really well.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Oh, okay. So first of all, Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 11 I think Cleveland, with the way that they do like some of their play action game and then also their screen game is awesome. I'm a huge Stefanski guy.

Speaker 11 Doug Peterson, you know, with Jacksonville, one, the way that they use Christian Kirk and Travis Etienne, two, with their multiple tight ends.

Speaker 11 Houston, for sure, like Houston with Bobby Slowick coming from the Shanahan stuff.

Speaker 1 uh big time dude i have to can i put andy reed in can i or did you say no no you could put andy read because we we were saying the andy reed and the chiefs have reached final form of the patriots with the bringing back micole hardman and having him be good right away And then also the fact that they are like, it felt like overnight, they have a really good defense, and Patrick Mahomes isn't throwing these like home run balls anymore.

Speaker 1 He's beating people a completely different way.

Speaker 1 And that's the true test of a dynasty where it's like they've transformed in front of our eyes to a completely different team and it just equals wins as always.

Speaker 11 Yeah, totally. Oh, before I go to the

Speaker 11 NFC, I'm also going to do Shane Steichen and Indy. But here's the dumbest thing that I see with Kansas City right now.
I saw it for the past couple of weeks. They're doing so it's unique.

Speaker 11 No one in the NFL is doing it where they are like

Speaker 11 doing unbelievable stuff to defensive lines with certain protections.

Speaker 11 Dude, there's clips against the Chargers where they had defensive ends running to the sideline, literally running to the sideline, and both tackles are running out to the sideline with them, staying behind the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 11 And Patrick's just set up behind a guard, launching a 40-yard crosser to Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 11 They got defensive linemen just because of the way that like they're moving people at the snap and ball fix and whatnot.

Speaker 11 So I think that's the really interesting thing with Kansas City: Andy Reid's been like, I don't have dominant receivers, but I'll just make defensive linemen look completely stupid.

Speaker 11 Um, I mentioned Steichen, oh, Ben Johnson for sure in Detroit. Ben Johnson's probably at the top of the list, uh, with his creativity to play action game.

Speaker 11 Um, I thought O'Connell was great on Monday night again. I'm a huge Shane Waldron fan in Seattle.
I think he's unreal with the stuff that he does with launch points and Gino and whatnot.

Speaker 11 So, and McVay, I'm obviously a huge fan of.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's interesting with Kansas City that Travis Kelsey is able to get so open in the middle of the field all the time. And it's something like, do you know how far back this goes?

Speaker 4 It happens every single year, every single game, it feels like, where he'll just put up, break off these like 80-yard catches because he sits down in zone coverage and Mahomes finds him.

Speaker 4 Is there a way to get that to stop?

Speaker 4 How do you protect against something like that right in the middle of the field?

Speaker 11 I think it's hard to protect against it because I don't know if like, again, this is a little, I don't know if Patrick or Travis actually runs routes.

Speaker 11 I honestly don't, I think like Travis knows what the play call is and like where guys are supposed to be.

Speaker 11 And he just runs to where the defense can't, you know, get to, or he knows where the defense is going to go. And he's like, oh, I'm supposed to run a corner route here and it's covered three.

Speaker 11 And I know that the safety is going to be. So instead of running a corner, I'm just going to like run to the hash and sit down.
And Patrick sees it the same way.

Speaker 11 I honestly think they just don't run routes. I just, they chase grass almost.
It's almost like watching like a like an old school

Speaker 11 run and gun like college football team. So is there a way to stop it?

Speaker 11 Dude, I think I've seen it once maybe realistically Cincinnati and the Nav said title game two two years ago like that shut him down. I know Tampa did in the Super Bowl.
That was more D-line stuff.

Speaker 11 So I just think his

Speaker 11 understanding of football is so unique that like it's almost impossible to cover him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he just runs to open space.

Speaker 1 It's fantastic. I would love to.

Speaker 11 Even if he's not supposed to, right? He knows, like, and then he knows, like, okay, there might be open space, but he's got another receiver coming there.

Speaker 11 So he might go to where that receiver actually is leaving from because there's going to be more. Like, I just think he's super, super smart.

Speaker 11 It's incredible.

Speaker 1 Look at it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 they just broke.

Speaker 1 We were saying it on Monday's show, but the Chiefs, I think in the fourth quarter, they had an incompletion at Travis Kelsey, but it broke in a streak that Patrick Mahomes had thrown 29 straight passes to Travis Kelsey that were a completion, which is insane.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 11 they had a play against Chicago actually this year where Travis 100% does not run the route that he's supposed to run.

Speaker 1 I saw that. Yeah, they're talking about it mic'd up after, too.

Speaker 11 Yeah, and Patrick throws it before he actually doesn't run the right route.

Speaker 11 He's about to run the wrong route and Patrick's throwing it. And you're sitting there going, how does Patrick know that he's not going to run the right route?

Speaker 1 He's going to run the wrong route, but at the right time,

Speaker 11 it's wild.

Speaker 1 It was a crazy clip because obviously, just, just I mean, the Bears just look stupid in that game and they look stupid overall.

Speaker 1 But they on the sideline, Patrick said, he was like, I knew you were going to run that route that wasn't called. And he's like, I like they were talking about it and laughing about it.

Speaker 1 So they played that's why that's impossible to cover, man.

Speaker 11 They break rules. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, all right, so I want to talk a little bit about your career, Dan. Uh, we'll get to the blog, uh, which we have some questions about the blog.

Speaker 1 But was the most important thing that happened in your entire career, Matthew Stafford, winning a Super Bowl?

Speaker 11 The two things, two things, I think.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 11 In 2019,

Speaker 11 when I took a very hard stance, Wentz versus Prescott, and Wentz like led him to the playoffs. They were decimated with injuries.
And I was like, he's the better quarterback. That happened.

Speaker 11 I did that whole garbage bag routine. I was still kind of young in this, in the business.
So that was a huge one.

Speaker 11 Oh, you know, maybe three.

Speaker 11 When Tampa won the Super Bowl, because when Tom signed, I was like, Super Bowl done, and everyone's like, You're an idiot. Uh, and then when Stafford won the Super Bowl, for sure, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 Because that was, I mean, you were the number one Stafford defender, and uh, it was lazy, but we could all be like, Well, look at the Lions stink every year, and then he goes to the Rams, wins the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, Dan Orlofsky was right the entire time.

Speaker 11 I got lucky a little bit on that one. I remember some playoff games, dude.
I was just

Speaker 11 honestly, I felt it. I wasn't just saying it, saying it.
I honestly believed that he was so dumb talented.

Speaker 11 Uh, and I knew how good Sean was because I was with Sean, you know, his first year in LA and with Jared. And I knew how smart Sean was.
And

Speaker 11 I knew, like, once Sean got a hold of Matthew, he would become so much better than anyone ever thought.

Speaker 11 So, and I got a little lucky with the way some of those games ended, but for sure, yeah, I just knew Matthew was so good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you also had some holdover Carson Wentz's takes, which affected me personally and a lot of other people out there who have families and friends that might have experienced Carson Wentz as their starting quarterback.

Speaker 4 Because you were right about your Carson Wentz over Prescott take, I think you held on to that for a while.

Speaker 1 And you, 100%.

Speaker 4 I think, to be honest with you, to this day, you still think that Carson Wentz could be an elite NFL quarterback, even though he's not playing.

Speaker 4 All evidence to the contrary, you will ignore. You think that Carson Wentz could step in right now and be a top 10 guy?

Speaker 11 If Carson Wentz was

Speaker 11 off the field as talented as he is on the field, he would be. But he's just too much of, I guess, like a unique personality, maybe a weirdo, head head case, whatever people want to call him.

Speaker 11 That's sort of the thing that I didn't know about. I still thought he was so talented, man.
I really do. But no, I'm past putting him in the MVP conversation.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's good.
You know, to get off a take.

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Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 13 Sebastian Menuscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 13 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right, here's a question that don't take offense to it because I actually mean this genuinely. A lot of people see backup quarterbacks and they're like, that guy stinks.
And

Speaker 1 why don't they get so-and-so starter that started for so long in the NFL? He'd be a better backup.

Speaker 1 I think backup quarterbacking is a very hard job and it takes the correct temperament and people don't give it enough credit. You were a backup quarterback for 12 years in the NFL.

Speaker 1 What is it about being a backup quarterback that people get wrong? consistently?

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 11 a couple of things. Number one, you're still ridiculously talented.
You know, there's 65 people on the planet that have that job, just about.

Speaker 11 So you're still, I would say, like most backup quarterbacks are just as talented as the 12th to 32 starter. They just can't do what those guys do as consistently.

Speaker 11 Or, you know, like maybe they do it two or tenths over three-tenths of a second slower than the starter does.

Speaker 11 And that's the difference of this guy makes, you know, 90% of the plays versus this guy makes 80 of the plays um so i think that i think the second thing is like dude it's so hard to keep your job when you get such little opportunity to prove your worth yep you know like every other everybody else on the team gets to play and so like you know oh you're you're not good or you're not deserving of this job well i just had eight tackles on special teams so you don't know what you're talking about but like for the backup quarterback it's like I gave 47 high fives and nine thumbs up.

Speaker 11 You know, like your performance doesn't doesn't really matter because you don't get the opportunity. So, like, trying to prove worthiness of that spot on a daily basis is a huge challenge.

Speaker 11 And I think that's one of the things that, like, minimizes some guys' careers because they either think that they're better than they actually are.

Speaker 11 Like, the best thing that happened to me, dude, was when the NFL told me you're a backup quarterback, you know, and like, at some point, you just got to accept it, you know, and then you could have the career.

Speaker 11 And then I think the third thing is like, dude, you got to be so good in the locker room because if the locker room doesn't like you or doesn't get along with you or you don't fit it or impact it, like they'll just get rid of you and get someone else.

Speaker 11 So,

Speaker 11 but I think the biggest thing is like the talent, you're still super, super, super talented.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, it's, it's, yeah, being a backup quarterback, I think would be like a dream job for me.

Speaker 4 If you back up too far, though, and then you get to the third spot, being a third string quarterback, I feel like you go to work every day feeling like you might not get in the office that day. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like they may have changed your key card. Were you ever a third stringer?

Speaker 11 I was like, because when I got into the league, they still had three, right? Like they still, you know, had three. We would all dress.
I was a third stringer my first year.

Speaker 11 I think like two or three years I was a third stringer. I think it was my first year, maybe my third year.
We had Josh McCown and Kitna, JT O'Sullivan, Stanton. So I think like two or three years.

Speaker 1 You know, we brought you up a couple weeks ago because we wanted to, I should have relayed this to you at the time. I should have hit you with a DM, but you need to rebrand yourself.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, oh, Dan Orlofsky runs out of the back of the end zone, which is maybe the funniest play in NFL history. What an idiot.
That's what people say. I didn't say that.

Speaker 1 You, do you know that you are the second against the spread quarterback, best against the spread quarterback for the Detroit Lions?

Speaker 1 You're six and one against the spread as a starter for the Detroit Lions. You need to go around and tell everyone that.
Like, six and one, and you bring a bad team.

Speaker 11 I'm requesting this clip for social media so I can post it.

Speaker 4 Make sure you put it.

Speaker 1 We'll put in the part about what people people say about how stupid you looked against the Viking.

Speaker 11 We could skip over that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 11 we could skip over that. We could just do the spread.

Speaker 1 Six and one.

Speaker 11 I didn't know that. That's good money.
Dude,

Speaker 11 we were unreal versus the spread in college, too. Like we used to have dudes coming up to us all the time.
Like you paid for my partying this weekend when I was at UConn.

Speaker 11 So maybe history against the spread. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got to gamble more than that. Yeah, maybe you're the best against the spread.

Speaker 1 When people put that clip online, I feel like you've had a good humor about it it now, but did it bother you for a while? Because it is the dumbest play in the NFL history.

Speaker 11 There's no question. It still bothers me.
Like, it still bothers me.

Speaker 11 You know, like, yeah, like, not to a point where I guess maybe bothers, like, I still sit there and I can be like, guys, it's 15 years ago.

Speaker 11 Like, everybody in the world that has any attention to the NFL has seen that play. You know, so like, I'm so awkward.

Speaker 4 I'm going to watch it again right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just pull it up.

Speaker 11 Maybe, maybe add to the, get it over 10 million views.

Speaker 4 There might be 10% of our audience hasn't seen it yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we got to make sure they see it. It's the amount of steps you took out of bounds, I think, is what it is because guys will

Speaker 1 guys will step out of bounds and you will rightfully so like you'll start trending and you'll be like vindication.

Speaker 11 But it's have you guys ever heard the story of when I got to the sideline? Because I've shared that.

Speaker 4 No, tell it to us.

Speaker 11 So obviously the play happens. Get to the sideline.
And again, like I take a long journey because I'm out of bounds. What was that?

Speaker 11 I get to the sideline and I'm having the thoughts thoughts in my head of like, yo, you are an effing idiot, dude. Like that was as bad as it gets.

Speaker 11 And I look up and Calvin Johnson, and do you remember War Williams, the receiver from Texas?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 11 They look at me and die laughing, just burst out laughing. And they just, they, they just can't contain themselves.

Speaker 11 So in that moment, I was like, all right, that makes me feel just a little bit better that they just could not control their laughter. I'm counting it.

Speaker 1 It's terrible. I'm counting right now.

Speaker 4 You took 12 steps out of the back.

Speaker 1 You did an entire recovery process. I imagine

Speaker 1 when you woke up the next morning, we were like, ah, no, there was a lot of NFLs Sunday. Like, no one's going to remember that.
You're like the guy, you're like Steve Carell from 40-year-old Virgin.

Speaker 1 When he's like, those guys are cool. They won't bring that up again.

Speaker 11 The best, I think,

Speaker 11 like, social media wasn't as big back then as it is now, obviously.

Speaker 11 I think the difference is Gardner did it a couple weeks ago and they won. We did it, and I did it.
We lost by two. So

Speaker 11 in 0-16 season. So like that, that one makes it stick just a little bit longer.
It's got staying power because of that.

Speaker 4 You do like to welcome people to the club, though, because when Gardner did it, you were like, hey, Gardner, it's not so bad. And then Jimmy G did it a couple of years ago.

Speaker 4 And you're like, I actually DM'd Gardner.

Speaker 1 I DM'd Gardner.

Speaker 11 Welcome to the club. I haven't gotten anything back from him, which is disappointing.

Speaker 1 Not necessarily a club you want to be in. Wait, did they, on Monday or Tuesday when they did film study, did they pull it up and they're like, hey, you see those white lines?

Speaker 1 Like, that's out of bounds.

Speaker 11 I don't remember, dude. I, dude, because you like we were 0-4, 0-5.

Speaker 11 That was like a contentious time because they had just

Speaker 11 put John Kittna on IR for like challenging our coaches in a meeting. So that was like a weird time.
So there was no laughter had in that building, man. Yeah.
No laughter.

Speaker 4 I wanted to ask you about that season. It's interesting you brought up Kittna and getting put on IR for challenging coaches, though.
I want to talk about that a little bit. Like, was

Speaker 4 they put him on injured reserve because he was like, hey, what we're doing, is it working?

Speaker 11 No, this is what happened.

Speaker 11 We were playing San Francisco and Kittna gets pressure and he like runs he's playing court runs and like instead of trying to get outside of the pocket and running away from three defenders he like runs up into what he thinks is a scene and gets like a yard and our coaches are like well

Speaker 11 john what are you doing and he's like what do you mean this is in a team meeting because it gotten to the point where like we watched the game as a team so they could tell us how much we sucked in front of the whole team and not just the offense and kittna's like what are you talking about they're like the the the running lane is outside here.

Speaker 11 He's like, I'm scrambling from pressure, and they're like, Well, you should get here. And so, Kittnel lost it.
He was like, Fine, fine, you guys.

Speaker 11 What from now on, instead of me doing quarterback drills, I'll come run with the running back so I can learn where the holes are.

Speaker 11 And after that, it was like, Hey, he's going to be on IR, and then he was done for the year. So, that was like the first game after that had happened.
It was, it was downhill.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 4 I think that you've done a pretty good job trying to rebrand yourself as not being the back of the end zone guy to just being the guy with maybe the worst and weirdest food takes and just takes in general online.

Speaker 4 And it's almost like you're a glutton.

Speaker 11 Hopefully not football takes.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 I'm talking about like off-the-field stuff. Off-the-field, there's a lot of red flags when it comes to big Tomovsky.

Speaker 1 You would not pass our, if we were at the Combine and we had an interview with you, we'd be like, not drafting that weirdo.

Speaker 4 No, so you're. I'm weird, dude.

Speaker 11 I'm super weird. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I love that you own it. I love that you're like, yes, I have very strange tastes, very peculiar food tastes.
I know that you eat like raw chicken.

Speaker 11 You don't put salt and pepper or seasoning on your chicken is that true i don't i certainly don't eat raw chicken but i cook it um because i'm not trying to puke but uh i eat super plain chicken for sure like i'll just go down to the cafeteria here at espn and i'll get cube chicken and just eat it by itself grilled chicken yeah i also heard from a credible source that you were in college when you found out that eggs came from chickens

Speaker 11 is that true No, who is this person spreading this ridiculous rumor? Because I had someone texting me about that last week. Is it someone texting me about it last week?

Speaker 11 And I was like, no, that's not, I'm not that dumb.

Speaker 4 There's somebody that I think people trust that is spreading that rumor about you.

Speaker 1 You should own it, dude. Yeah.
You clearly didn't know that.

Speaker 1 It's okay. It's okay.
Like, we all learn stuff in college.

Speaker 11 I mean, listen, I'm not telling you that for sure I didn't say that. I don't recall saying that.

Speaker 1 Now we're backing up a little bit.

Speaker 4 I like that. That's a common problem.

Speaker 1 We'll share, okay? Up until maybe I was like 12 years old, I thought testicles were actual play-doh in your ball sack. So look, we had dumb thoughts.

Speaker 11 You thought. I don't ever pretend to be like intelligent, though.
I only just say, like, I know football. That's it.

Speaker 1 All right. So, wait, you also know, I don't know, did anyone send the clip to you or do you, did you listen when we did a reading of your blog?

Speaker 11 Of course they did. Okay.

Speaker 1 What did you think? Four ways to avoid temptation when on the road.

Speaker 1 It was a great blog. Focused on knowing you're going to go.

Speaker 11 Do you guys want the honest answer here?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, it was an all-time blog. It was

Speaker 4 because what we'll tell you what we took away from it, and then you can clear it up. What we took away is that Dan Orlovsky is so horny that he can't trust himself in a room alone with him.

Speaker 4 He has to be surrounded by dudes at all times, otherwise he's just jacking off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't, you have to watch football, otherwise, you'll just be ejaculating everywhere.

Speaker 11 I mean, there's probably some truth to that.

Speaker 11 The honest answer, because I knew this was so my dead ass honest answer, maybe not perfect for the show is i come from a broken family okay oh god damn it why'd you do that to us this isn't bad dad session so like i when i got married i was like i'm i i'm doing this one time i know what it's like to have like 97 stepmoms in the course of like six years so i'm doing it one time and obviously that stuff's going to lead to you know mommy and daddy breaking up so i try to avoid situations that might make a bad decision you make your divorce shamed us that's up yeah you know you guys opened the doors wait you that's actually incredible because you could have played that card on us when we did the reading.

Speaker 1 You just waited for the day where, like, I know this is going to come up, and I'm going to just fucking hit him with the Uno reverse and make them feel like shitheads. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're a real son of a bitch. You've been hanging on to that one.

Speaker 1 It's kept in your pack pocket.

Speaker 4 Well, there was one part of the blog where you said,

Speaker 4 when I say I'm in a group, you're talking about not being alone with women. You said, when you're in a group, I mean a group.
John Kittna taught me to never be one-on-one with a female.

Speaker 4 John Kittna taught you that?

Speaker 11 That was something that I learned with my time in Detroit. The weird thing is, like, I'm one-on-one with people.

Speaker 11 I do have moments when I'm in a room with a girl.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Oh,

Speaker 1 that's a quote card right there. That's hot.

Speaker 1 Same. Me too.
Me too, Dan.

Speaker 1 Dan, honestly. I didn't know you got down like that.

Speaker 4 It's pretty cool being alone in a room with a chick.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 It's not for everybody, but I'm able to manage it, man.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a good blog. I mean, listen,

Speaker 1 here's what I'll say is that I know I could tell just the way following you on social media, you are a great dad, and I respect the hell out of that. So, like, that's, you know, I appreciate it.

Speaker 11 Yeah. That's the most good, like, coming from, again, not trying to bash my dad or whatnot, but like, coming from the childhood, that's like the thing that for sure was.

Speaker 11 After I achieved football, I was like, I just want to be a really, really good dad. And I know that I can't be if I'm going to do stupid stuff or make stupid choices when it comes to that stuff.

Speaker 1 See, this is why we should never have had you on. Yeah.
Because you just took away so much material from us. And like, this is what happens.

Speaker 1 We have guests on all the time, and everyone just comes away being like, we love this guy.

Speaker 4 Like, why didn't she?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 we might have to just delete this whole interview. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I can give you some advice, though. You know what I do?

Speaker 11 I'll send out a weird tweet if you want me to. What do you got?

Speaker 1 Because I got like three minutes. I got to go to NFL.
You just be yourself. We know the weird tweets will come.
You'll be like, oh, does anyone ever like not wipe?

Speaker 11 Well, yo, that's the one thing I wanted to talk about here with you was there was another tweet that you had where you talked about um how how many days is it acceptable to go without showering when you're on vacation and you have a pool and then parentheses saltwater pool that you go into every day so um you tweeted that out you thought it was two to three days um turns out a lot of people disagreed with you and thought that was disgusting and uh then you deleted that tweet uh shortly thereafter so can you walk us through did you have a change of heart why did you delete that no literally because what happened was a friend of ours copied the uh the tweet and sent it to a group text that i'm in with like me my buddy his wife my wife and like question marked and my wife looked at me this was like a week after maybe a month after the whole towel thing that people made a too big a deal about as well and she was like take it down and i was like why you know like and she's like people are going to think like i i'm a terrible wife and i don't have any like type of control over our house or whatnot or that you're a disgusting pig and i don't clean your shower or i don't clean your towels and whatnot so i was like all right I'll give you this one.

Speaker 11 I'll take it down because I wanted

Speaker 11 my wife to still be willing to sleep with me.

Speaker 1 So that's smart, that's smart.

Speaker 4 Between me and you, you would go for two to three days without showering if you have a pool that you're dipping into.

Speaker 1 Saltwater. Salt water.

Speaker 4 100%. 100%.

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Speaker 1 Last question, your Connecticut guy through and through. Give us the rankings of pizza.

Speaker 11 Number one, pizza is Colony Grill. Number two,

Speaker 1 Colony Grill.

Speaker 11 No questions asked. In Fairfield, though, it's got to be the one in Fairfield.
Number two, Sally's. Number three,

Speaker 11 Modern. Number four, Pepe's.
Not a massive Pepe's guy.

Speaker 1 Wow. All right.
So

Speaker 1 I stumbled upon Colony Grill like six years ago, and like, it is the best pizza in the world.

Speaker 11 Auto sausage is the best.

Speaker 1 I wish I could recreate it. I like have a dream of letting, you know, of Colony Grill letting me like open a pizza place in in Chicago that just replicates it because it is that good.
So I'm happy.

Speaker 1 That's a good, that's a good answer.

Speaker 4 Colony Grill is probably going to be upset to know that Dan Orlovsky rated them as the number one pizza.

Speaker 8 Yeah, because you have bad taste.

Speaker 4 So that might be an issue for him.

Speaker 11 Maybe I'm the one who's got it all together and everyone else is just screwed up.

Speaker 1 Nah, I don't think so, dude. We read that blog post.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Dan, we'll do this again.
It had been too long. First guest in the new studio.
Part of Part of My Take History. Thank you so much, man.
Appreciate it. You guys are the best.

Speaker 11 Appreciate you, boys.

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Speaker 1 My son has named my car the gorilla car. Oh, that's makes me feel so fucking

Speaker 1 car. It's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 That is sweet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's just like, you drive the gorilla car. Like, fuck yeah, I do.
Fuck yeah, I do. I drive the gorilla car.
All right, let's finish up the show.

Speaker 1 We have the new lottery ball machine about to be unveiled in a minute.

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Speaker 6 Hank, I had a golf tournament this past weekend with my dad and some buddies.

Speaker 6 I thought it would be funny to buy some exploding golf balls to prank someone by tossing them one of the balls if they needed an extra one.

Speaker 6 I kept the exploding ball ball in my pocket the whole round and eventually forgot about it.

Speaker 6 As I went up to hit on a par three, I took what felt like my best swing of the day and poof, I crushed the exploding golf ball.

Speaker 6 My friends and dad all laughed their asses off, and I proceeded to chunk and lose my ball on the next swing.

Speaker 4 It's a good bit, though. Exploding golf ball rules.

Speaker 1 It always plays.

Speaker 1 We need to start doing that to each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got to start doing that to each other.

Speaker 6 Exploding microphones.

Speaker 1 Exploding microphones. That'd be good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exploding cheese steaks.

Speaker 4 Would it explode if you putted, or is it it just like if you hit it with the fish? You have to hit it pretty hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You power up to hit it pretty hard.
Yeah. Although, probably.

Speaker 4 That would be funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's always great when they do the exploding golf ball on the gender reveal golf balls. It's like, wait, what the hell?

Speaker 6 I like it when they just give them regular golf balls.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or yeah, that's what it is.
I'm stupid. Yes.

Speaker 4 You can always say like that would have been a hole in one. Like this guy was like, that was my best swing of the day.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I had tickets to see Shane Gillis.

Speaker 6 I checked my tickets on Monday to see when the show started and found out that the show was this past Saturday, October 21st, not this upcoming Saturday, Saturday, October 28th.

Speaker 6 So I'm at a solid 350 bucks. Don't get to see Shane Gillis.
And my wife is pretty convinced this is my fault.

Speaker 1 Well, it is.

Speaker 1 But also.

Speaker 6 At least it wasn't something she wanted to go do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, here's what I'll say is that Shane, who we actually, people are like, when are you going to Shane on? When are you going to Shane on?

Speaker 1 We actually have had like a back and forth where we've, we had to cancel on him once. He had to cancel on us once.

Speaker 1 We are definitely going to to have him on we're going to i told him anytime he wants to come up so we're going to do that but i think shane would say to this um your wife already knows you're an idiot because you're a shane gillis fan it's like being a fan of our show right it's not like there's like taylor swift concerts like right they were going to that show because he wanted to go seeing shane gillis and she was like okay like if you're in awl listening this right now your wife knows you're an idiot because you listened to us and we're idiots yeah also you should have had friends that were going to this show too this should have been a group thing somebody would have would have caught this but because it's anytime one one guy is in charge of his own calendar, he's going to fuck it up.

Speaker 4 You need like three or four guys to cross-check all that.

Speaker 1 Shane does have a funny bit in his stand-up special that just came out on Netflix, which is very funny. It's called Beautiful Dogs, and he's like, how many women here are here?

Speaker 1 Because your husband or boyfriend is like, shh, listen to this part of the podcast. It's so funny.
And it's like every single woman. So yeah, she's used to it.
Totally.

Speaker 6 Hey, boys, this past weekend I came to Chicago from Nevada for Raiders, Bears, and to bop around the best city in the nation.

Speaker 6 Whoa. One guy in our group had to go straight to the airport from the game, so put the other 14 of us in charge of bringing his bag home with us.

Speaker 6 We didn't realize until our Denver layover that no one grabbed his bag, so it's still sitting in an Airbnb in Wicker Park. Biggest Jimbo move of the trip by far.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this is that guy's fault. You can't.

Speaker 1 You are getting out of Dodge quick. Like, that's on you.

Speaker 4 Can somebody else bring my bag with me?

Speaker 1 And no one, like, no one.

Speaker 6 Everyone brings a carry-on. Like, no one's checking bags.

Speaker 1 That would be the most annoying.

Speaker 6 Take an extra bag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that'd be the most annoying thing ever for your friend to be like, hey, can you make sure you grab my bag? Ship your bag.

Speaker 9 I actually don't think it's that big of a deal because you know where it is.

Speaker 1 Well, you're nice.

Speaker 9 You know where the bag is. It's not lost.
You just call the Airbnb person to ship it for you.

Speaker 1 They're not going to do that. I'd rather this than it being missing.

Speaker 4 No, I'd just be like, fuck it. If I'm the Airbnb bag.
I'm like, no, I can't find it. It's not here.
Yeah, so I have to ship it.

Speaker 1 Nah, fuck that. Yeah, that bag's gone.
That bag's gone forever. But you,

Speaker 1 the guy who did that is, is the real

Speaker 6 he can't be mad at you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your friends are not responsible for your bag.

Speaker 6 Especially if it wasn't one person, if he was just like, will someone take it? Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 You got to assign someone. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So that is that guy's jimbo. It's not your friend's jimbo.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Last one. Sup, fellas, I was listening to the podcast at work, and one of the producers said he worked so hard during the fall and winter that he's going to take the summer easy.

Speaker 6 I worked 10 to 12 hour days year-round and figured, hey, I work hard too. I should do the same.

Speaker 6 I went in and told my bosses, and she laughed me out of her office while calling me an out-of-touch millennial.

Speaker 1 Is she right?

Speaker 4 Interesting. Hank, are you an out-of-touch millennial?

Speaker 1 I think you are.

Speaker 6 Ages always mess me up. Yeah.
Like, millennials, Zoomers, Gen Z.

Speaker 1 Oh, you might be a millennial. No, you're a little bit of a.
No, no, no, no, we were. 93.
We're the oldest millennials. Yeah.
So then Hank could be a millennial. Or no, we're the.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah, we're the oldest millennials.
93? Yeah, you might be. It might be to 95.

Speaker 4 Let's see, generation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a millennial office.

Speaker 6 We got to get over the old

Speaker 4 anyone born between 1981 and 1996. Okay.
Hank is an out of touch millennial. Yeah, you are.

Speaker 1 Hank, question about your strategy in terms of work

Speaker 1 taking it off all summer.

Speaker 1 What Friday this summer will we be making up you missing Sunday?

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Which Friday? Which Friday are we going to pick in July or August that you're going to come to work because you're making up the time for an NFL Sunday?

Speaker 6 I'm sure there will be like one.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well, I would like you to declare it beforehand. Okay.
Like, this is the Friday. Remember, October, whatever it was, 22nd.

Speaker 1 I'm working today like it's October 22nd.

Speaker 6 Fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you'll stay here till one in the morning on a Friday. Yeah.
And I'll stream it. Because that's a full workday.
I think a weekend then.

Speaker 4 I think it should be July 5th. I think that's the one that you should go.

Speaker 9 You should pick one where there's weather in the the forecast.

Speaker 1 Rain in the forecast.

Speaker 1 No, there is rain.

Speaker 4 Right now, on the calendar I'm looking at, Jake, there is rain expected for Friday, July 5th, 2024. I think Hank should come in for that one.

Speaker 1 No, this is like NFL flexing schedule. You have to declare it 12 days in advance.

Speaker 9 And just pray that it rains so you don't miss out on golf.

Speaker 6 Well, that's the beauty of this office. I can just golf here.

Speaker 1 No, you have to treat it like it was October 22nd where we're in the old studio, so there's nothing to do.

Speaker 4 Hank should actually have to watch all the football from that day.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you should have to. We'll live stream it.
That's a perfect live stream.

Speaker 9 We'll get the red zone from that day, and it works out because the Patriots beat the Bills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a great day. Okay,

Speaker 1 are we ready? Jake, do you have any retractions? Question mark?

Speaker 9 Um, there's a few. So, are we making this just retractions or retractions, errors, and omissions?

Speaker 4 I think it should be, well, they're all kind of the same thing. Um, it should be retractions, but then we get to declare whether or not we actually retract

Speaker 9 us adding context.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, it's just did we fuck something up? Okay,

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
Great job. Fuck yeah.
We had a few omissions. We pitched a perfect game in our first podcast here.

Speaker 4 That's amazing.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Let me hear an omission and see if we're going to do omissions.
I don't think I'm down with omissions. Okay.
This is a test run.

Speaker 9 Nick Sabin, so in addition to LSU, they have to beat, they still also have road games at Kentucky and at Auburn in the environment.

Speaker 1 Not doing omissions. Not doing omissions.

Speaker 9 And then also Connor Stallions Venmo to Michigan recruiting staffer with the caption GA the day before Georgia played Ohio State in the Peach Bowls.

Speaker 1 It It could mean that it could mean literally anything. General mission.

Speaker 1 All right, retractions only.

Speaker 1 Omit that. All right.

Speaker 1 You guys ready? This lottery ball machine fucking rocks. So we're never going to lose a ball again.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Andrew Manley, who's one of our tech guys, shout out to our tech team. They've done a great job.
It's been a little bit of a fire alarm getting everything set up.

Speaker 1 He handed me a report, and they literally have a report. Every single ball was weighed, and it has to be within a certain amount of weight, so there's no funny business.

Speaker 4 Because you can rig the lottery that way. That's one of the strategies that people have used.

Speaker 1 So I have it. Are we ready? Are we ready to look? Here we go.

Speaker 1 Turn the light on.

Speaker 4 So this counts.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. We're back to keep the ball.

Speaker 9 First drawing since July 20th, officially.

Speaker 6 Who was the last official winner? Me.

Speaker 1 They told me to count it. They told me to count it.

Speaker 1 What color do you you guys want? What colour to count it?

Speaker 1 What color do you guys want it? I like that. You're better than that, Jake.
I like the older one. I'm just doing what I'm told.

Speaker 6 You're better than that.

Speaker 4 That's my favorite color body armor right there. That blue armor.
Three chick.

Speaker 1 Two.

Speaker 1 One.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 Look at this thing. It's a beast.

Speaker 4 That thing looks like a sweet ass bong. So, yeah, it does.

Speaker 4 We should smoke out of there at some point.

Speaker 1 So here's the only question I have to ask you guys. So it's a little different than the old lottery ball machine in the fact that I hit start, all the balls go crazy, and then I have to hit select

Speaker 1 to pick a ball. How much time should I wait for the select?

Speaker 4 Five seconds. Five seconds.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay, are you guys ready? Numbers.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? 18. Hank, have you ever gotten this?

Speaker 1 20 of you? I've never gotten this. Yeah, but I have you? Three.
Yeah, actually, I did before. 50 of you? Yeah, I did.

Speaker 4 You just weren't here. Yeah, you weren't here.
This is actually on Sunday when you were on vacation. We came over here in our lives.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited. All right, what was your number, PPF?

Speaker 4 I took 20. Okay.

Speaker 1 69. Memes, you've gotten this? Nope.

Speaker 1 Max, what's your number?

Speaker 1 3.

Speaker 1 18.

Speaker 1 What did you guess? 17.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 56.

Speaker 1 It's going. That's nice.

Speaker 1 Those balls bounce that.

Speaker 4 It fires up.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 1 it's a flapping jig. All right, I'm going to hit the selects.
Ready?

Speaker 1 72. It goes up fast.
Whoa. 72.
That thing can suck.

Speaker 4 And then watch.

Speaker 1 No, no, it drops. Then watch this.
Then you just drop it.

Speaker 1 Release. No, wait.
Oh, reset.

Speaker 1 Whoa, that sound is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Should we do one more? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I kind of missed like the...

Speaker 1 Shut up, Max. Shut up, Max.
Oh, Max. So we can make it a few more seconds.

Speaker 1 Max, prediction for tonight, because people are going to be listening to this part of the show, and I want to make sure it's in the lottery ball part.

Speaker 1 7-2.

Speaker 1 7-2.

Speaker 1 Phillies. Phillies, okay.
I thought you were going to be. I was going to beat the Diamondbacks.
No, no, no. Okay.
All right. Well, I just wanted to clarify.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 there's another curse that PFT didn't talk about with baseball. Crucio.

Speaker 4 What's that?

Speaker 1 No team has ever beat the Brewers in the playoffs and not made it to the World Series. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 No team has ever

Speaker 4 beaten the Phillies in a game game seven. That's true.

Speaker 1 So true.

Speaker 4 First ever is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not that crazy. They only made the playoffs like 13 times.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Numbers. Hank, have you ever gotten this? 20.
Have you? No, have you? Hank, have you ever gotten this? Three. I have not.
Have you? Can I guess my number? Why are you asking me questions?

Speaker 1 I asked you after you guessed your number. Why would you do that?

Speaker 4 No, you asked me before.

Speaker 1 I just asked you after.

Speaker 1 Hank, have you ever gotten this?

Speaker 1 No. Okay.
Have you? 17. I haven't got my number yet.
17, 3.

Speaker 1 18. 18.
69.

Speaker 1 69. I don't like what you're doing, memes.
Memes, you've never gotten any of the lottery ball machine numbers. I'm going to guess

Speaker 1 27.

Speaker 4 I can see three right there. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What just went? 7 to 72? Oh, 7-2, Max. That's why I did it.
No, that wasn't why I did it, but I have picked 7-2 for every time you've asked me in baseball. All right.

Speaker 4 Must win.

Speaker 1 27 is my number. This is must-win, yes.

Speaker 1 Think powering up.

Speaker 1 Feeling

Speaker 1 fly around.

Speaker 1 I just want to watch it for a second.

Speaker 4 You have to look away when you hit the button, though. Look at this.

Speaker 1 I will. But look at this.

Speaker 4 Wait, how do I change it to the other ones?

Speaker 1 I don't know. We'll figure that part out.
Alright.

Speaker 1 31.

Speaker 1 31.

Speaker 1 So these are all being documented now, right, Jake?

Speaker 9 Yeah, I'm getting the admins at PardonMyBalls.com where you can track it live.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Love it. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take.

Speaker 1 The number one spot podcast on the charts and in your heart.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 football guy for D's of JWS.

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sick,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my check,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 for the

Speaker 1 day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sick,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my day,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 pardon my sin

Speaker 1 pardon my sin

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 pardon my sin

Speaker 1 for the mighty

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 pardon my sin

Speaker 1 might take

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 for the