NFL With Dan Orlovsky, New Studio/Lottery Ball Unveiling, CFB, And Max Is A Loser Again

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, the brand new Pardon My Take studio. If you're listening to this and not on the YouTube right now, go to the YouTube, watch the new studio, because we are in it.
We have the new lottery ball machine. We we're going to talk college football we have dan orlovsky to talk some quarterback play nfl talk blog talk we have jimbos hot seat cool throne and the phillies lost and max is sitting on the couch right now we're going to get to that the barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time. Start searching multiple courses in your area from one app.
It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online. Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times.
Plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group. Earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews.
And then you can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store. Download the Barstool Golf Time app now.
Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times. Barstool Golf Time app now.

Okay, let my take. Yeah, pardon my take.
Yeah, pardon my take. Yeah, pardon my take.
Welcome to part of my take. Yeah.
Part of my take. Welcome to Part of My Take.
Today is Wednesday, October 25th, and breaking moves. Max is a loser.
I was going to start off by congratulating the Diamondbacks. Congratulations.
And the Texas Rangers. And the Rangers, too.
The Diamondbacks, they earned it. They're a fun team.
Nobody roots for them. I think they have like 20,000 fans.
Is that our guy Clue? Clue Haywood is very happy. And Dan Heron.
Congrats to Dan Heron. Dan Heron did this.
He put together Dan Heron is like a long time old friend of ours who has uh been with us from basically day one I'm very happy for Dan Heron we'll try to get him on the show uh it is crazy we'll talk about the Phillies you're right PFT we have to give for the Diamondbacks and the Rangers the fact that thebacks, the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Texas Rangers

were both down 3-2 and they had to go

to the opponent's ballpark and win two games,

six and seven, I would have, like,

what would that have paid?

For those teams to go 4-0?

They robbed the bank.

It's insane.

And the Diamondbacks, I was looking at it,

so the Diamondbacks and Rangers,

if you go back just two short years, 2021, the Texas Rangers were 60-102. The Arizona Diamondbacks were 52-110.
It's like this is what sports are about if you're a fan, the ability to have your franchise turn that quickly. The Rangers obviously spent a lot of money.
The Diamondbacks got a lot of young guys up there. And Dan Heron.
And Dan Heron. It's a true testament.
This is why you stick with your team, because a quick turnaround like this is right around the corner, and that's what you're hoping for. That's what you're praying for.
So this is awesome for a lot of reasons. I know people are talking about what the ratings will be.
I love that. The people get pre-mad ratings.
They get pre-mad about how pre-bad the ratings will be in the future, and that's why you won't watch the game. Game two on Saturday night against college football will be tough.
There'll be people that are like, I'm not going to watch this. This is going to be the lowest-rated World Series ever.
That makes no sense. I'm going to watch it.
I'm going to have fun. I'm a seam head.
Or at least you've got to appreciate October baseball. I'm rooting for the Diamondbacks.
I'm rooting for Dan Heron. So the Diamondbacks, they have the ninth lowest payroll in baseball right now, and they got the last spot the playoffs so for everybody that's saying i mean dodgers fans that are saying uh that the new wild card format is bullshit that they should go back well one of the one of the teams got to the world series and i know that that might prove why you're upset it's like okay a team that over the long season wasn't as competitive can make the world series if that's what makes you mad about this then we're watching two different sports because i love i love long shots if your team's not in it it's hard to to not root for a long shot and an underdog fun stat though so this this blew my mind um this is from twitter user free pure life okay in 2001 yeah randy johnson murdered a bird with a fastball.
They got to the World Series. Yeah.
They won the World Series, actually. Yeah, they did.
Against the Yankees. In 2023, Zach Gallin murdered a bird with a baseball playing long toss in the outfield.
Do you remember that clip? Yes. The Diamondbacks are back in the World Series.
Wow. They're bird killers.
They're bird killers. That's incredible.
It's the streak of the bird. I also love, on the other side, the Rangers.
They spent a lot of money, and Astros fans being extra salty with the fact they're like, oh, well, you bought it, and you threw a bunch of money at it. Isn't that exactly what every fan wants their team to do? Yeah.
I want my team to spend all the money every year, especially in baseball when there's no real salary cap just spend it all yeah spend it all and get me a good team exactly it was just like a hilarious uh cell phone by astros fans to be like well you guys bought that you guys paid a bunch of money for good players yeah losers so and also shout out bruce bocci uh he might he's he's his own dynasty. So he obviously had three World Series wins with the San Francisco Giants.
He is now back in the World Series with the Texas Rangers. Bruce Bochy has been in the playoffs, I think it's, yeah, five times in the last 15, 20 years, and he's won three World Series and gone to a fourth.
It's pretty insane. Yeah.
The Cubs did beat him the only time, so we are the Bruce Bochy killers. But still, insane for Bruce Bochy to just come and be like, yep, World Series, let's go.
We have another streak going on, too, that we should keep tabs on, and that's the Houston Astros are now the only team to ever lose all four home games in a playoff series. The last time it happened was against the Nationals in the the world series i remember that pretty well uh but it happened again with the texas rangers and bruce boshi did you know that bruce boshi has the biggest head in major league baseball he wears a size eight and a half or sorry eight eight and a quarter eight and a quarter so he's got a big fucking head huge head he wears an eight and a quarter hat that means big brain i'm pretty sure right if we're gonna do phrenology he's got a big brain in that wears an eight and a quarter hat.
That means big brain. I'm pretty sure, right? If we're going to do phrenology.
He's got a big brain in that skull. But eight and a quarter hat is so fucking big.
Here's another crazy. They didn't have a helmet that fit him when he played in Major League Baseball.
They had to get like a prescription hat for him. Here's another crazy stat.
You ready for this one? Since Max joined, pardon my take, the Phillies lost a World Series after leading 2-0. The Eagles lost a Super Bowl after being up 10 at half.
The Sixers lost the Eastern Conference Final after leading 3-2. And the Phillies just lost the NLCS after being up 2-0 and then 3-2 with two games at the bank.
Don't forget about the Union. Union also lost.
They lost an extra time. So, Max, you know this spot very well.
Yes, I do. I'll start with an easy one.
Do you regret not making game six a must win? Every game ever for the rest of my life is a must win that's smart that's a good that's a really good mentality that's the best answer you could have given because you failed when you also yeah it was it was not just game six right there was another one you didn't make a must win yeah i think it was game four okay fuck i think you went you went over to a not must win game yeah i said bring me back two wins in the desert. And you didn't, right?

On that weekend, you only brought back one.

What's going through your head right now, Max?

Are you going to cry?

I'm not going to cry.

I don't even know.

It's just the same.

It's just all too familiar.

Sitting in this spot.

Which we've, again, this is the first time we've ever recorded

in the I don't even know. It's just the same.
It's just all too familiar sitting in this spot. Which we've, again, this is the first time we've ever recorded in this studio.
It's just this figurative spot. All of you guys just are like fighting back like the biggest giggles.
No. Hank, look at Hank.
He's not even fighting it back. I can't even look at him.
He's not even fighting it back. I can't tell if Hank's high on marijuana or high on just Max's sack.
Maxiwanna. Maxiwanna is the best drug ever.
Oh, give me that Maxiwanna. I'm an addict.
I just don't understand how this keeps happening. Yeah.
It just keeps happening. In your deepest, darkest thoughts, do you think it's you? I don't know how you could.
I don't know. Well, do you think maybe, because I read all those very tough losses.
We forgot to mention that before any of these losses happened, you did say that you guys were title town. Whatever.
We're just loser town. We're really good at like thinking that we're good and then all of a sudden it's right right in our face every time every like no city is good is as good as philadelphia is at making you think like something like you're about to be happy like you're on on the verge of you're just so close to being on the verge of happiness.
And then it just, it just, you just strangles you. You did win a Super Bowl 2017.
That was eons ago. It does feel like every year.
I would go a little bit further even Max. I don't think that any city is as good, like is actually as good as Philadelphia thinks that it is at sports.
Yeah, I guess you could say that. Hey, new studio, though.
We should have said that off the top. Obviously, game seven.
But this is the new part of my take studio. It is not a finish.
Excuse me. Whoa.
First sneeze in the new studio. It is not a finished product.
There's going to be some changes. We have a big sign coming back here.
We're going to figure out some way to get this TV to work. Max will be in the booth.
We had to have him sit on the couch for this. Jake's in the booth.
Evan, memes, Shane's here. It's also so hot in here right now.
We have not figured out the AC in the studio yet. We got TVs in here, so we'll be able to watch games.
We're going to maybe watch Sunday football because the Bears are playing while we record live reaction. We got a new studio.
No one dresses better for a big game than you two. I'll give you that credit.
All right, so that's a funny thing that you brought up, Hank. We actually have a clip.
So, Max, during the live stream, it's baseball. You're trying to get rallies going.

We kept on telling him, hey, you got to change this.

You got to change that.

Change your hair.

Change your, you know, whatever he's wearing.

He cut his overalls off and turned them into Daisy Duke overalls. We all took our shirts off for a while.

I actually respect it, Max.

Max did everything he could to win this game tonight.

But he had a moment when it was getting really bleak that he realized that everything he was doing probably wasn't going to get them any runs. You want to play the clip memes? This could be such a bad night for me, and you guys just want it to be so much worse.
Please. That's not true.
Look at me right now. Look at what I'm doing for you.
I look ridiculous He's right daddy. I think you're doing it for us though.
Yeah, I mean max thoughts i mean nothing worked i i i i cut my fucking things my underwear is showing right now i look like a little boy i and then and then i looked like a little girl with my fucking pigtails on you You look like a kid that's dressed up for Halloween as a train conductor.

And then I did the shirt off.

That was the worst inning in the history of baseball when we took those shirts off.

Sometimes you've got to do crazy shit.

I ate shit for a Stanley Cup.

I do.

But nothing I can do can get me there.

Nothing.

Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering because I know Hank's a big Philly sports fan.
I was wondering what Hank's thoughts are after Night Live. I hate that I'm trying so hard that he's just not in any part of my eyeline.
We just need to get Hank involved a little bit in the podcast. He wasn't here on Monday.
I do like that poster behind you, Hank. No, he didn't look.
Fuck. He's not looking at you, Hank.
Honestly, I mean, the Phillies fought hard. Making it to NLCS is a good accomplishment for a team like Philadelphia.
And the most impressive part for me is just the fact that the D-backs were able to go win not one game at the bank, but two in a row in a ballpark that there's really nowhere else like it. it so to overcome that it's an sec stadium and to be able to to win two two games one one game away from elimination and win two in a row fought back multiple leads never gave up never died that that to me was really like i don't think Philly lost as much as the Diamondbacks won.

It's tough to kill those snakes.

It is tough to kill those snakes.

So, Max, what's the status of the bank?

I don't know.

I mean.

It's a very good question.

Is the bank a fraud? Yeah, thank you.

It's a very good question.

Is this bank fraud?

The home field is not what I thought it was.

Oh, no.

Because you really thought it was special. It was special for a while.
Just singing along. Yeah.
Every song. Cheering for home.
A-OK. Is that what they do? Yeah, Max.
Is it six? You're going to be A-O, A-OK, Max. I just don't know what.
I just don't know where to go. Eagles.
Sixers, baby.

The fact that the Eagles are good is almost worse.

Kevin Byard.

It's almost worse because it's just going to be the same thing

where they're just going to keep playing well

and they're going to bring you up.

It's just going to be another team that brings you up

and then you go up 10 at half of the Super Bowl, and then it just punches you right in the face. And it's just going to happen again.
It's just going to keep happening. So I just need to tell myself.
What are you doing with your fingers right now, Max? Yeah, what are you doing with your fingers? I'm worried. You do look like Billy May is about to sell me a casket I just don't know How I I don't want to be excited anymore I don't want to get my hopes up anymore I don't want to get my hopes up anymore Because it's so much harder It hurts so much more When you think that Use your words You just get then you're almost there, and you're like, we're going to do it.
We're going to win. It's going to be a great moment for me.
I'm going to be so happy. The city's going to rock.
And then they get you so close, and then everything just falls to nothing. And I'm sorry to everyone who has to listen to this right now.
This is a new studio. We shouldn't be doing this.
It is kind of crazy that the new studio is game seven. Max, have you thought? Because, look, we just opened this new office.
We'll show everyone the new office in a couple weeks. It's incredible.
Bigger than my wildest dreams. Like, everything is awesome.
The studio, we're going to make so many great memories in here is there a part of you though that like thinks like man what if i just had never joined part of my take and i could have just like and like been sad on my own time and not have to sit on that couch it's it is what it is what about the other i i probably came at you strong when I asked you, like, how much blame do you put on yourself for something like this? It would be fair to also ask you how much blame do you put on us? Yeah. It's the joy.
I think it's more of the joy that it comes from you. No, the pain for me is also super important.
This is a tough one. This is unstoppable force versus the immovable object i'll be honest with you max i i don't take any pleasure in in philly sports fans in general losing things you are very you are wildly entertaining when you lose yeah it's that's the thing and it's it is a compliment i mean it as it doesn't sound like one right now but i sincerely mean that you are extremely entertaining when you lose right it's not the city of philadelphia because i do feel bad for the city of philadelphia and i have hank's shaking his head don't shake your fucking head uh and i have a lot of friends from philadelphia but just watching your pain i mean i feel like a sicko but this is what people do to us when we lose but you guys we're losers i know we're losers in the truest sense you're you're a win win win lose he's lost more in the last 18 months than you guys have for the through the entirety of the show no he's had so much hope the last 18 months yeah that's the thing but that's so much worse that's what i'm trying to explain to you guys you wish you could just be losers like us just regular losers you can just like go like and like enjoy a nice sporting like ball game nice ball game, play some wagers.
It stinks to lose money, but it's just so much more. You just think that...
I can't stress enough. Why do I think that things are going to be...
It's insanity. What do they say about insanity? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
And it never changes. I didn't want to scream into the mic and hurt people's ears there, but it just never changes.
It's just I don't know why I think things are going to change. I don't know why I think this is different.
But, like, everything pointed to that with this Phillies team. They were so cool.
Like, they made Philadelphia likable. People were just saying that.
They were like, how is this Phillies? Stop. Oh, God.
I hate Hank so much. I'm agreeing with you.
I was rooting for him. No, you weren't.
I was rooting for him. That's a lie, Hank.
It looked different. It felt different.
It all came crash all came crash. That 5-2.
I said that loss when we were up 5-2. Game 3? I think it was Game 4.
That was absolute hard. That was Super Bowl-esque.
That game was worse than I feel right now. And the bats.
Yeah, the bats. The bats, like, Bryce Harper just has had so many, so many, so many clutch moments for the Phillies, and he just knows so.
When Trey Turner and Bryce Harper both flied out, that felt like it was over at that point. Trey's had some clutch moments, too.
He's had some really, like, for in the World Baseball Classic. Yeah, if you want to cry, you can.
I'm not doing this whole game again. I know, but you just asked me to cry.
No, but you look like you're going to. I'm not going to cry.
It's okay. It's just, I don't, like, it's just going to keep happening.
Like, you know that this is, the Eagles are going to do this. Like, this is all about to happen again.
This is all about to happen again.

Yeah, they probably are.

Hank's smiling again.

Do you remember how magical this October felt?

It did.

September felt so magical.

And then it just wasn't meant to be.

It's just never meant to be.

It doesn't get cold in Chicago or anything.

It killed a bird.

It's just never meant to be.

I got one thing to maybe cheer you up.

Is it looking at boobs?

We could look at some boobs.

You want to look at some boobs?

I did not want to see the boobs when you tried to show me the boobs.

I was trying to cheer you up, and they were nice boobs.

Max doesn't really like boobs.

This is not boob time.

It's not boobable?

All right.

I sent it to you.

Read it out loud.

I'm going to cheer you up he's looking through his phone it's probably a lot of seen it sad god damn it read it out loud read the whole thing out loud he you i don't know why you keep doing this to me he is now put thirty seven hundred dollars on villanova to win the national championship and let's go cats like i don't know why like we can't keep doing like you are literally you're just 40 to one that's 150 g you're just throwing you keep throwing away money For these moments Like we can't keep doing this I am the drill tweet Someone do the math for me I spend this much on my car I spend this much on my house And then it's like $170,000 On Philadelphia sports teams futures Just for these moments Dude you told me they were going to be good this year. They are going to be good this year.
They are. That's a good bet.
I don't know. I hate it.
I'm riding with you, dude. I'm rooting for Villanova.
We just keep losing when you ride with me. But I get as far.
I know, and it's worse. I keep saying it's

worse. I just

keep saying it's worse.

I'm not crying. He's crying.

His eyes are just watering a little bit. It's so

hot in the studio. I'm sweating

so much.

I'm sweating so much. You need a snack?

Do you need a snack?

No, I'm never eating. These overalls are not flattering.
Do you have any last words? Hank, do you have any last words? No, I'm just happy. It'll be a good first studio memory.
Look at him, Max. I'm not looking at him.
Max is a content machine. He is.
And I'll always appreciate him for that. And he rides and dies very, very hard with his team.
It's not shtick. He's riding as hard as he can.
Max would be doing this exact same thing if the cameras weren't on right now. He might be crying.
You might be holding back tears, actually. Memes just sent us the Kevin James memes with tits.
That'll cheer you up. Thanks, memes.
What do you think about Castellanos? Barrels? You need more barrels? 0 for 21. He's a hot and cold player.
Baseball's weird like that sometimes. And just everyone went cold.
Everyone went cold. What about Karen Kike? What? Remember that relief pitcher? I told you he stunk.
Yeah, Kirkring. I'm never disagreeing With you guys ever again Because every time I do It blows up in my face Yeah Every game is a must win Oh my guy Stucky Just tweeted this out That Arizona Would have missed the playoffs If Suzuki had caught that ball In Atlanta It wouldn't have mattered We would have Heartbreak would have Just went somewhere else Yeah What do you think about Blooper coming at you? Pretty strong, huh? I mean, that guy is so...
He doesn't have a single inch of anything in my brain. I don't give a fuck about Blooper.
Sounds like you're a little... Yeah, how much do you not care about Blooper? Not much, but what are we doing here? What is this? All right, all right, Max, any last words any last words no okay good well said are you you're dismissed to go to the studio where you'll be for the shows now um what a game that was it was great baseball i love baseball i actually do feel really happy for arizona diamond yeah it's like the shit you've been through you got the pool that's gonna be rocking during the world series i'm sure that I'm sure it'll turn into a baseball town.
Yeah, they should wear the green and teal. Oh, yeah.
They have some sick uniforms. Teal and purple.
I also I like their mascot, too. Their mascot gets no love because he looks like a rabid wildcat.
I think he's like a bobcat. Maybe some sort of desert desert animal.
Yeah, he's awesome. I like that.
I like the pool. I like the snake memes like the snake emoji in general good vibes good vibes from the arizona diamondbacks um other things before we get to college football and dan orlovsky uh kirk cousins was fucking awesome yeah monday night football the niners have now lost two in a row the vikings are kind of like alive-ish.

Who's back?

My pinky team.

Who's back is Creed.

Yeah.

You got the Rangers making the World Series.

You got Kirk Cousins winning games on Monday night.

This is going to be an insult stat, so prepare yourself, Big Cat.

Kirk Cousins is now 3-10.

He only beats the Bears.

I know this.

He's 3-10 on Monday Night Football.

This is the first win against a team not named the Bears.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

We propped

up his schedule a lot. And actually, I'm looking at their schedule right now.
Fuck. Pinky team might come back into play.
Packers, Falcons, Saints, Broncos, Bears, Raiders. Yeah.
They could easily rip off 4-2 there. They look real good.
They had a flash of old Vikings where they missed a pretty easy field goal. And then everybody was like, well, I've seen this movie before.
But Addison is awesome. Addison, once they get Jefferson back and you have Jefferson and Addison and Kirk Cousins playing great and he loves Hawkinson too.
That's going to be a good offense, I think. I don't think that anything that the Vikings did last night was a fluke except for that one touchdown where Addison ripped it away with like 10 seconds left.
That was a little bit fluky, but I do think that the Vikings are good offensively. And last night, their defense was pretty good, too.
Yeah, and the moment that it was like, oh, shit, Kirk is like really balling and playing different Kirk is that big throw he made at the – it was probably like seven or eight minutes left in the fourth quarter when he looked like he was going to get a sack. And it was like the whole line was collapsing on him and he stepped up and he made, and he just threw a strike and you're like, fuck Kirk.
So like he's playing great ball. If we're on Justin Jefferson, will he play again this year? Watch.
I'd say that now it's increased from being no, he won't play at all to yes definitely he definitely will play over the course of like two weeks that that stock has turned around quite a bit and now the 49ers are i don't know i mean that is two losses but i think they're fine they got to get guys healthy but uh it is like we're going to talk to jane orlowski about quarterback play brock purdy is like you know on the week, he's either the reason why they lose in the worst quarterback ever or elite. We fall into that hype, but it does feel like to buy it.
The nice thing is the 49ers for the first five games felt like they were unbeatable. Now the NFC feels like it's very wide open, like even more wide open than it was before.
And I don't think there's any truly dominant team outside of the Kansas City Chiefs. So next week, it's going to be the 49ers and the Bengals.
I'm going to say this is a must win for the 49ers in that if they lose it, they're frauds. They're on fraud watch right now.
They are just hovering above that line. I don't agree with fraud watch just because of what they did to the cowboys but they will be they we are going to call them frauds if they get beat by the bangles yeah they have the bangles and the bills i'm just letting you know like i'm getting ahead of it i do think that the niners will be fine i think that they're built in a way that yeah they're built in a way where i think they're a legitimately good team I think you'd be dumb to say that they're not a good team.

Yeah.

But if they do lose to the Bengals at home this Sunday,

we're going to have to have the fraud conversation.

Yeah, I was wrong.

The Bengals play the 49ers, then the Bills.

The 49ers play the Bengals, then go to Jacksonville.

Those are two tough games.

Yeah.

Those are two tough games.

And then they have to play, and they get the Bucs,

but then they're going against the Seahawks, Eagles, Seahawks three in a row. Their schedule looks a lot different now.
They're not just wasting teams. Yeah.
Yeah, and you're right. I mean, besides the Cowboys win, they beat the Cardinals.
They beat the Giants. Steelers.
That was a big one. And the Steelers.
Yeah, week one. And the Rams.
They always beat the Rams. Okay.
New studio. We have the lottery ball machine unveiling at the end of this episode.

We're excited to be in the new studio.

The new office is awesome.

We're going to talk about it more.

But let's kick it to ourselves, some college football talk.

Okay, before we get to college football talk, guess who's a sponsor now?

MTV and the Challenge.

It is back.

TV's most cutthroat athletic competition is back with a drama filled new season of MTV's the challenge battle for a new champion tonight at eight, seven central. It's a new era of MTV's a challenge because for the first time ever, 24 contenders who've known battle, but never victory are returning for a chance to finally win their first championship.
And they must work together to earn the prize pot. But don't be mistaken, this is still an individual game.
The biggest catch, to become a champion, they'll have to beat previous legendary champions like CT, my personal favorite, Daryl and Casey. That means they must endure utter chaos on their road to victory.
This just might be the most difficult season yet.

I love the challenge. It is the best.
It is

reality television at its finest

because in order to be the best, they'll have

to beat the best and don't miss MTV's

The Challenge. Battle

for a new champion. New season premieres

tonight at 8, 7

Central. Watch on MTV.

Don't miss now The Challenge. MTV

is the challenge. Battle for a new champion.
New season premieres tonight at 8, 7 Central. Watch on MTV.
Don't miss now the challenge. MTV is a challenge.
Battle for a new champion. New season premieres tonight at 8, 7 Central.
Watch on MTV. Okay, boys, college football.
The biggest game of the weekend was also the biggest snooze fest. And so I've broken down this week's college football recap in a tale of three coaches.
We have the losers, Dabo, James Franklin, and Lincoln Riley, and the big winners in my mind, and we'll get to the Jim Harbaugh stuff later, Kyle Whittingham, Nick Saban, and Ryan Day. Okay.
So follow me along here. James Franklin.
I would add Lou Holtz to the losers. Lou Holtz to the losers as well.
He keeps losing. James Franklin, loser, because he can't win the big game.
Yeah. I mean, that's who James Franklin is.
This game sucked. This game stunk.
It was painful to watch from start to finish. It was boring.
Ohio State just kind of smothered him. With the exception of Maserati Marv, there wasn't too much offense going on in that game.
Which, by the way, can we all agree to never call him Maserati Marv?

No.

Gus Johnson is terrible at football announcing.

I've said it.

I've been roasted for it.

I think he's awful at football announcing.

Basketball, fine.

But he just, when you're watching a game early in the day, and I know this is a big game,

but him screaming after a first down, Maserati Marv, it's like, dude, we just got into our football day. Does anybody call him Maserati Marv it's like dude we just got into our football day does anybody call him Maserati Marv Gus Johnson just Gus Johnson all day uh but that really was the difference it was just basically the if you had to write like a recap of the game it was Ohio State has Maserati Marv Penn State does not yeah that was that was the game Penn State's offense looked terrible it was just it was a boring boring game to watch And I have to think that, well, you know what's really funny now?

And we'll get to, as you said, Jim Harbaugh in a second.

I love Penn State on their high horse about integrity.

Oh, yeah.

And getting the most mad about what Michigan's doing.

I absolutely love it.

James Franklin now is 1-9 versus Ohio State, 3-16 versus top 10 teams.

His Penn State Nittany Lions, their defense is incredible. Their offense is very, very bad.
So bad they're historically bad on Saturday. They were 1-16 on third downs, which is the worst ever for any top 10 team attempting at least 15 first downs in the last decade.
But also the refs fucked them. We have to make sure to include that.
They did, but they were never going to score. They didn't actually fuck them.
They didn't actually fuck them. It was an was it was an ass kicking it was like i wouldn't say it was an ass kicking now i i would actually say it was just like smothering is the best way to put it yeah you just got smothered they had 167 yards in 57 minutes yeah and then they scored a garbage time touchdown and for james franklin it's like all been building up to this where he's like i have the team now i have the team and then he wakes up on Sunday morning he's like oh shit yet again I'm the third best team in the Big Ten East which Penn State's better than probably 95 percent of the teams in NCAA football it just so happens that they play in the same division as Michigan Ohio State who can never be so this is the conundrum you found yourself in Penn State fan.
You have a good team every year. Very good team.
You have a very good team every year. You get to play meaningful games.
You get to have that moment in the offseason where it's like, oh, Drew Aller might be actually one of the best quarterbacks in college football. This might be the year.
And then you lose big games, and then you get depressed about it, and then you're like, why can't James Franklin win the big one? So your choice is now, do with James Franklin who at least makes you happy I don't know nine months out of the year things are on the uptick nine months out of the year and until you you lose a big game and then you're like oh well we're not gonna make the playoff again this year or do you try to switch up and take the unknown and risk going you know like five wins six wins a season and then that's really unacceptable then you have to go out there and get a coach that you hope and pray will be as good as James Franklin is. Because Penn State football has not been competing for championships at all recently, but now you're at least in the conversation.
They've been close. They've been close a couple years.
We can't break through. But that's James Franklin.
He'll get you close. So if you're happy with being close, I personally would be happy with being close.
There was the year that they obviously had a gripe. They've never led a two-loss team into the college football playoff.
It was the year that they beat Ohio State, and then they lost to, I believe, Pitt in the non-conference, and that was the thing that kept them out. That was the Big Ten championship game against Wisconsin.
Here's why you've got to stick with James Franklin, to answer your question. It's a 12-team playoff.off.
Penn State will be in the 12-team playoff. That is the solution to all the problems of Penn State.
They will get to the 12-team playoff and maybe iron sharpens iron in Ohio State and Michigan are that good that when you get to the 12-team playoff and you play a big 12-team or an ACC team, you will win that game and then you win a playoff game and everything looks different because James Franklin just won the big game there's there's a question about have has he ever won a playoff game yeah and now he can be like yes he has also you get to root for upsets in the playoffs that would be something if Penn State like lost to Ohio State they make it to the 12 team playoff and then all the top teams get bounced out and then they go on a cakewalk to the championship yeah that could happen yeah possibility but yeah i feel like a lot of penn state fans are at the end of the rope with jim franklin it's like come on he's maybe this is loser talk now that i'm saying it out loud it might be loser talk where i would be perfectly happy they're just rooting for a team that at least you think has a chance every year and you're just outside of it they just keep running into a wall and drew aller is a-star quarterback, and he is young, so maybe he becomes the guy. He said himself he sucked, and he was crying after the game.
It was very emotional. Like, they sucked.
Their offense sucked. So that was the one loser.
The other two losers, Lincoln Riley, coaches the softest teams in the country. Yeah, and Utah's always a tough team.
Well, Kyle Whittingham will get to him is one of my winners. Jake, did you see that Lincoln Riley did not let anyone on USC talk to the media? I did not.
Yeah, he didn't let any of his players talk to the media. Right.
I feel like there's different rules for student athletes versus professional athletes. I would like to hear accountability after the game, Jake.
Yeah, me too. As a member of the media, I want to hear 20-year-olds tell me how sad they are.
Fair. Lincoln Riley is like that defense, and now people are saying like, Caleb Williams, could he sit out for the rest of the year? It wouldn't be the craziest thing.
It would kind of confirm what a lot of people already think about Caleb Williams. But it doesn't matter because one team is going to sell themselves on Caleb Williams, and it does not matter.
That's the thing is he basically can make the bet like, oh, yeah, one team will take me. Yeah, if Drake May, who would never lose a big-time college game, if Drake May happened to go off the board number one, there would be a team that didn't plan on taking him, but then they'd get that last-second itch where they're like, we could change the franchise.
We could all maybe extend our jobs for two years if we just drafted. That's the thing about Caleb Williams.
No matter how good or how bad you think he's going to be, any front office that drafts him, you might as well get a two-year contract extension. Easily.
Right off the bat on that. Easily.
Yeah, USC soft on defense. That's Lincoln Riley.
Again, like James Franklin and Lincoln Riley, we should not be surprised by either of these two results. That's kind of who they are.
Yeah, it is. And they are like, I don't want to sound like an old guy, but it feels like they're like millennials, not right.
It's Gen Zers. They're a team of Gen Zers.
Zoomers. Yeah, where they're like, hey, come to USC, NIL, all this stuff.
Don't have to tackle. It's going to work out.
The last loser was Dabo. Dabo is going through it.
Now, he made a suicide joke after the game which was i thought that played i thought it was funny i hate he had to take it back i hate to stand up for dabbo yeah um that joke was it wasn't a great joke but i don't think it was it was bad enough for people to get mad about yeah so if you missed it they asked him after if there's like a mental health or a mental coach on staff and he said yeah he's probably looking for the suicide hotline right now which is funny because he's implying that their mental coach needs a mental coach right exactly so he did walk it back he realized like it's not a funny joke whatever i i was not offended by it personally but dabbo he's getting his wish he said the other day that he thinks that maybe a couple losses will be good for Clemson because it will lighten up the bandwagon. But talk about a guy who has not adjusted whatsoever to the new era of college football and you reap what you sow.
Clemson was going to be the new Alabama a few years ago. Yeah, they were the new Alabama.
They beat Alabama. They took the crown from Saban – I'm a sicko when it comes to just enjoying Dabo being uncomfortable and having to go through these situations.
It's great. It's great to see.
Not because I have anything personal against Dabo, but because it puts him in such a weird position that he's not used to. Yeah.
Where you have to see a guy that was, like, embracing front-runner status a couple seasons ago. Now he needs to get his defensive line back on steroids.
Yeah. That he's got to do it all went downhill too it all went downhill after they all got popped for having hot piss yeah and then so working in reverse because I feel like they match up perfectly with each other uh Saban is like the anti-dabo where Dabo was supposed to be the new Saban and Saban we we including all of media wrote uh uh, Alabama off first half against Tennessee.
They look like they're not prepared. Second half, they go back to old school, Alabama.
And Saban is the perfect example of like what Dabo would dream to be because Dabo, you can win a championship, but in your quote unquote down years, can you still win 10 games and be in the like Alabama even in their

down years is still late into the season being like they could be in the college football playoff it's pretty crazy the consistency the floor of Nick Saban teams is so much higher than everyone else's ceiling it's nuts if I was a Tennessee fan after that second half I would be I would be counseling with Clemson's

mental health coach for advice.

That was, it was so bad,

so painful to watch i did bet on tennessee things felt good in the first half real good with eight and a half points what they should have done is scored a touchdown off one of those turnovers that they had and they should have tried to run the seven point play um squirrel white was so much fun to watch too oh that for the Oh, that catch you made? Yeah. The first half, it was like Joe Milton, Squirrel White, unstoppable.
Just bomb it. Just throw it deep.
Let Squirrel handle it. Great name.
First team all-name in college football. And then the second half, Alabama happened to him.
And Alabama happened all of a sudden, and it was drastic, and it was violent, and it was bad, and I feel bad for Tennessee fans. But Alabama does look like – it would not surprise me at all if Alabama beat Georgia and Alabama got into the college football they got to beat LSU first but yeah I agree it's I actually think so we were the first to report it when people start with this take remember we were the first to report it that this is Nick Saban's best coaching job ever it's I think Nick Saban might get more joy out of this type of season than winning a national title new problem to fix well it's also he probably loves it so much when people write him off and then he's like oh okay i'll go 11 and 1 so basically what he did was when he lost to texas that was that was planned yep that was in the that was in the game plan to lose that game and the usf bad the usf bad performance where they scored like zero points and then he probably he probably created burner accounts email accounts emailed a bunch of college football reporters leaked some stories that weren't true just to get some rat poison yeah to get some some bulletin board material going that he can then put on the bulletin board and say hey guys nobody believes that you can win boom next thing you know they're an elite team an elite team again.
Yes. So Nick Saban, yeah, big winner this weekend.
And then, again, working in reverse, Kyle Whittingham is the opposite of Lincoln Riley in every way. He is Mr.
Consistency. I tweeted out after that win that Kyle Whittingham's the best coach not named Kirby or Nick.
A lot of people were saying Jim Harbaugh. Again, we will get to that.
uh he is so consistent and he's so consistently like his teams are just fucking dogs he just like he plays the the guy who their third string quarterback went into the coliseum he's a pig farmer he grew up a pig farmer he was running people over like it's insane that this utah team that everyone was like, no cam rising like this is going to be a problem for them.

They've won big game after big game.

And every single year, Kyle Whittingham seems to have one of the toughest, best teams, well-coached teams in college football.

Yeah, I just want to see them play in a big game at the end of the season.

Utah in a bowl game is always must watch.

Yeah.

People have this outdated vision in their minds of Utah football, which is probably from like 20 years ago that they held on to for a while i know i probably did but utah is just fun to watch year in year out great great teams great football a lot of points well they just and it's it's great when you see like kyle winningham is lincoln riley's daddy and uh he's beaten him three times in a row in in basically a calendar year and it's the contrast of the two teams couldn't be more stark when you're watching them like utah you know guys at the ball like attacking the ball ton attack like tough tough guys hitting holes and then usc trying to do it with finesse it's awesome yeah i wouldn't game just comes in he's like i'm gonna punch you in the mouth and i know you won't be able to respond yeah the gin zers out in uh in southern california perfect team for that city, for Los Angeles to root for, and Utah is the perfect team for that state. Yeah, all right, and so working it all the way around, Ryan Day, also big winner, not only because he beat Penn State and his team looks tough and it looks like it is – their offense is not great, but it looks like he has molded his team to be a good foe for Michigan in the last week of the season, although I think the Badgers might sneak him on Saturday.
I don't know. I'm starting to get thoughts.
Ryan Day was a big winner because Jim Harbaugh is in some doo-doo. He's in some trouble.
So if people don't know, there's a big controversy. Michigan has a staffer named Connor Stallion.
great name connor stallions connor stallions uh he makes 55 000 a year connor stallions uh on his linkedin profile says that his skills are identifying the opponent's most likely course of action and most dangerous course of action and identifying and exploiting critical vulnerabilities and centers of gravity in the opponent scouting process is that a real linkedin profile because that sounds to me like something that you would like somebody just padding their resume and very clearly alluding to like conducting illegal activities yeah it's like if you sell drugs it's like i am a uh horticulturist and a botanist with experience in weighing and distributing different products and setting up logistics networks yes spanning from columbia to florida yeah i go to i go to opposing games and i videotape it yeah he's identifying actually his linkedin profile identify he's deleted everything uh-huh identifying and exploiting critical vulnerabilities and centers of gravity in the opponent scouting process. So the story is Connor Stallions has been buying tickets to a bunch of Big Ten games.
So 30 tickets to 11 different Big Ten games. Either he or someone he knows sitting in the seats that are just high enough to be able to see the opposing bench videotaping it then taking that videotape and essentially discerning what their hand signals are and then on game day so he would do it like if Michigan was playing they're playing Purdue this weekend he would go to a Purdue game two weeks ago watch them and then when they play Purdue he's got all their hand signals which stealing hand signals is legal in the game if you're looking across the sideline you're like oh I noticed they did this I'm gonna do it but but actually going and recording them and scouting an opponent live is very much illegal and the reason for that is because not every school has the same resources to be able to afford to buy tickets and send somebody to games also it's just like anytime it goes back to the astros thing like when you bring in electronics into cheating that's to me when it feels like it starts to be really cheating right if it's just done with like a notepad and a pen that to me feels like it'd be a much lesser degree of cheating but um yeah so not every school can send advanced scouts to games and do that to the extent that Michigan was allegedly doing.

I think he also bought at one of the games, he bought tickets behind both benches. Yes.
Right. Because he wanted to get both sets of hand signals.
Yes. And there's now video of him standing next to the defensive coordinator against Ohio State, like calling it out.
Well, I saw this one screenshot with a coach that had diagrams of hand signals on them on the sidelines. And as we alluded to last week week nothing you could tell me about the lengths to which Jim Harbaugh would go to win football games would surprise me the fact that he had his own private NSA set up where he had guys going around the country and videotaping things I would not be surprised at all to learn that I actually wouldn't I think that falls perfectly in line with what we know about Harbaugh okay so I have a theory and this is this started as a joke and then the more I thought about it I'm now believing my own joke I was going to go with the theory that Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge of it and that Michigan is going to get sanctioned and Jim Harbaugh because he had no knowledge of it has to recuse himself from Michigan and go coach the Chicago Bears that what I'm going with.
Jim Harbaugh's innocent. Jim Harbaugh had no knowledge.
And so I threw this out there, and then I thought about it more, and I think I actually believe it. I think I actually believe it.
I think this guy, he was – from everything I've read, and now this is also becoming like a true college football story, that it's a bunch of reply guys being like, here's another fact, here's another fact. another fact from everything I've read Connor Stallions was essentially like a Michigan super fan that worked his way into being on staff I think Connor Stallions might he was in the Marines he went to the Naval Academy I think he probably was like I am really good at decoding this stuff uh hire me and they're like you can't decode it and he was cheating to basically be like look how good i am like you don't know how this happened but i'm so good i went to the navy i went to the navy you you don't understand how good i am at this stuff meanwhile he's cheating i think some people in michigan knew i'm gonna believe that jim harbaugh because he's gonna be the future coach the chicago bears did not know What you're describing is entrapment.
So he goes to the Michigan head coach, or he goes to Michigan, let's say, like, defensive coordinator, or maybe an offensive coordinator, and says, here's what I can do for you. I can go ahead and send me out to these campuses.
I will videotape every single hand signal. I'll decode them all for you, and I'll give them to you.
If he put that in their heads, that's on him. So this is like he's the perfect fall guy for michigan to be like this is all this one guy's idea well i think there probably were other guys involved just because he it seems like someone was funding him he makes 55 000 a year yeah maybe he's just a big college football fan maybe he just wanted to go to every big 10 game but i weirdly enough and i know know this is sounding ridiculous, people are going to be like, you're so stupid.
You're just trying to keep for Jim Harbaugh because you want him to coach the Bears. Yes, that is true.
Fact. So you can't say that because I've already said it's fact.
But also, my theory isn't that crazy. Knowing what we know about Harbaugh, though.
Yeah, that part does kind of fall apart. Harbaugh would definitely love this scheme.
This would be perfect for him because, one, Jim Harbaugh does think of Michigan football as being a sovereign nation with its own military. His pregame speech is always like, we're here to protect the University of Michigan against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
He loves to break that out. He does think that they're their own branch of the military.
having a military guy stealing signs that's just the cost of doing war yeah that's just like that's that's just running a good military and my my entire theory falls apart very quickly when i'm like no a lot of people knew but not jim harbaugh yeah no jim harbaugh i'm like i'm like no no wait wait i don't want it i don't want it to be known that i think he's a lone wolf. I think the whole Michigan program knew Jim Harbaugh was left in the dark.
So what might save Jim Harbaugh's ass is they might go to his computer, look for documentation about this. Yeah.
Searches emails. Right.
Those searches, Microsoft Word documents, but they won't search his Excel spreadsheets, which is where he keeps everything. And if he has a password protected Excel document on his computer, that's probably the smartest way he can get out of this.
I actually think that Harbaugh to me, it seems like he's put a resume out there to get hired by an NFL team. But I would say that the NFL team would be the new England Patriots.
Hank. Oh yeah.
Think about that with, it seems like this is right in line with the culture in new England and how they do business. Do you, do you disavow coach Harbaugh or Or do you think, Hey, this is an up and comer that would look really good in Foxborough.
I disavow. You can't be, you can't be.
Oh, the worst part about this entire controversy is Dave, our boss. He is obviously gone on the defensive of Michigan.
And the part that sucks is he makes a little bit of sense that it really is obviously like as soon as Michigan gets good they're like oh they're cheating that part sucks when you can basically say well yeah of course well it is true how it works is if you get really good people like oh they're doing something and if you look at their postseason opponents um where they can't go in advanced where they don't know who they're to play next. They haven't really done so well in terms of that.
So I honestly believe it's true. I think it's funny.
I think it's the most perfect college football controversy. And I actually put a lot of blame on the message board freaks out there.
If you're a Big Ten message board freak and you had every other conspiracy theory as to why Michigan is doing well and you didn't stumble upon this one. You need to reevaluate yourself.
You need to go back to square one and say, what am I doing wrong as a message board freak? And how can I improve my performance so I can actually get ahead of this story and not wait for the NCAA to actually find out about it? Do you think it's like an Astro situation where it's Michigan, but it turns out it's like every team? I do. There have been multiple big 10 coaches who've been asked about it.
I saw Matt rule notably, and he was like, I'm not going to comment about someone else's stuff. So that I, I do think you open Pandora's box.
It's just, man, I got to figure out a way to get Harbaugh out of this. Although it maybaugh did know and he gets banned from the NCAA because that wouldn't stop him from being a coach in the NFL.
No, it's actually – Okay, so I'm cool with anything. It's actually great for you if you want him to coach in the NFL.
This is a perfect scenario because I don't think that Michigan – Michigan's probably going to get hammered with some serious, serious – And he's already got three games or a couple games still. Yeah, take away scholarships.
They're going to be – the program's probably going to be affected by this if it's true. So Harbaugh will probably be punished by the administration in order to get a lesser sentence.
I would imagine that there's things that you can do to negotiate that. I don't think that Harbaugh is going to stick around.
I hope – the best thing, if you're truly a fan of chaos, you want Michigan to win the national championship this year. Yes.
With all this shit going on. That's what I want to see.
Yeah. And it would be so fun.
People would be so angry about it. But, I mean, this is what we love about that sport, which is just complete and utter confusion and chaos, and people hate each other.
And they'll be the biggest magnet for just pure, unadulterated, just hate and vitriol from every college football fan base and it would be very funny if they won the uh yeah i'm basically working under the theory for this entire controversy i'm i'm going to the conclusion and just trying to work my way back harbaugh on the bears yeah how do i get that to happen i think i think this is very good for anybody who hopes that harbaugh would coach their nfl team Yes. I need the Chargers to now make the playoffs.
Because I feel like that's the other team that he could potentially go and coach. I don't know.
I mean, he played on the Chargers. They got Justin Herbert.
L.A. He coached in San Diego for a while.
He coached in San Diego. Like, that's history.
So, I think I'm rooting for... You think Harbaugh's an L.A.
guy? Maybe I should put in a parlay. Michigan to win the national title, Chargers to make the playoff.
I don't think he would go to San Diego or L.A. I think he would.
I think that's a – I don't know. He also has some history with the Bears' ownership.
I don't know. It could be – I just got to figure out a way.
So, great weekend in college football, though. Yes, fantastic.
That was like an awesome – in terms of everything that happened we don't even i mean florida state coming back and beating duke just smothering them in the second half uh virginia beat unc that was a crazy game great win for virginia and for teams that have beaten virginia this year yeah really improves their outlook on things the uh i saw one person they're like we unc should just never schedule a home game during fall break again that was why oh that's why yeah because the crowd wasn't that's why yeah listen uva might be the worst i think they probably are the worst power five school in terms of their football program i think their their only win was against william and mary this year uh so that's michigan state is michigan state's bad they put hitler on the board they did they did well it was it was a third party hitler yeah it was third party hitler just so we're clear you never want to get third party michigan state like that is just comically everything could have everything that could have gone bad they were like you know what let's throw a hitler on there you think they'd be able to blitz a little bit better if hitler's up on the jumbo trial but yeah got him got him yeah no michigan that was that was hard i love watching when harbaugh knows he's got his guys and he knows it like his rivals suck he's like because they were still they were still running offense at the end of the game 49 nothing like yeah yeah fuck you we're gonna just fucking kill you right so with the michigan thing real quick i don't think that harbaugh is ever going to be sorry about this I think that he's he's the only dumb thing is they got caught yeah like I think a lot of college football teams probably do very similar things to this with the amount of money that coaches get paid and how like every season can put you on the hot seat in college football and the way that these guys run their programs I'm sure that it happens a lot like there's there's a ton of teams in college football right now that are, like, circling up and being like, how can we be smarter about cheating so we don't get caught? The only problem for Michigan is they beat Ohio State two times in a row. They flew too close to the sun.
If they don't beat Ohio State this past season, because, like, hell hath no fury like an Ohio State fan that can't accept the fact they're worse than Michigan. They spent there's probably hundreds of Ohio State fans that have spent the last year trying to figure out a way to prove that the Michigan is cheating yeah and they found it yeah congrats yeah like that that's really what your problem was you you basically activated an entire army of college football fans that had been sitting back and being like you know we beat Michigan every year two years in a fine.
Fluke two years. They're like, well, we got to figure out what's going on here.
Going into the season. If you were to be told that there was one coach that was running a massive, like nationwide surveillance program on their future opponents, it would be hardball, right? Well, I would say Jimbo, but his team suck.
I could see Brian Kelly, maybe. Yeah.
Brian Kelly could do that. But yeah, Harbaugh would probably be the top of the list.
He doesn't have the best history with camera guys. Yeah, he'd be the top of the list.
Yeah, definitely. It's Harbaugh.
It falls perfectly in line with what we know about Harbaugh. And it actually, in a sick way, it makes me like him more.
Yeah, oh yeah. I love him.
How many hours a week do you think Jim Harbaugh was dedicating to having secret meetings with his illegal video staff? Yeah. He was probably doing like 10 hours a week.
And also kind of like this Conor Stallions guy because he was a Michigan super fan. He's like, how can I be on the staff? Yeah.
I know. I'll cheat.
Listen, if somebody wants to work for part of my take and volunteer to go behind the scenes and sabotage Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift's relationship so that they're no longer a threat on the podcast charts. I'm not going to say no to that.
Bring me a plan and I will entertain it. Yeah.
We will just be like, we didn't know. Just don't send us emails.
Yeah, I don't want to be included. Hank will take care of all that for us.
Yeah, Hank will be our fall guy. He's our Conor Stallions.
It was all Hank's idea. Yeah.
As far as names for fall guys go, Conor Stallions is a pretty good one. Great name.
Because you don't forget it. Yeah.
So it's like, yeah, okay, I can see a guy named Conor Stallions doing this. Great name.
Okay. Should we do Hot Seat Cool Throne? Let's do some Hot Seat Cool Throne.
It is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. When you're in need of some chill fall vibes, there are so many great options from college football games to Halloween costume parties to chilling on the deck and watching leaves fall.
There's always a way to turn off and hit reset. For those moments when you need to soak it in the season, reach for a Coors Light.
It's made to chill. There's only one beer out there that's literally made to chill, and that's Coors Light.
The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. That way you always know when it's time to chill.
When you need to hit reset, just open a Coors Light. It's mountain cold refreshment made to chill.
Coors Light is the one I choose when I need to unwind. So when you want to hit reset, reach for the beer that's made to chill.
Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to Coors Light.com slash take. Celebrate responsibly.
Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. CoorsLite.com slash take.
The greatest beer ever. Coors Light.
We love Coors Light. Henry.
My hot seat, speaking of Bill Belichick and the Patriots, are the haters, the fan fictionists that were spreading rumors that he was going to be done after this year. Oh, we covered this on Monday.
Sorry. We don't need to talk about this now.
I assumed you didn't talk about it you know as like hey we fucked up his extension oh you didn't listen to the show no because this they leaked that because he is definitely like under the microscope a little bit why else would they reverse hot seat i appreciated the wires very much big cat but on monday i uh i was out out late after the wedding i slept on a friend's couch didn't charge my phone Got to the airport My phone was about to die So I had to get a charger And instead of being able to listen to the podcast on the way home So that's your fault That's not the wired headphones fault Well it would have been nicer to do two things at once Well did you see Aaron Rodgers on the Manning cast He had a terrible microphone Then he switched to wired headphones I did not see that I think he could have just played it on speaker. On the flight? Yeah.
Yeah, he should have. Just hold it right up to your ear.
Let everyone know what's up. But yeah, we did cover this.
Are you ashamed that you would be listening to part of my take? No, I just think that's a very rude move, and if someone did that next to me, I would... If it was part of my take? Complain after the fact forever.
All right. Well, we did cover it.
And did you apologize? I apologize for what? We covered the facts as they are which is that the new england patriots leaked this news because their coach is on the hot seat so they wanted to make it seem like he was not on the hot seat because what year was it that they also did this 2007 uh right after the spy gate stuff but he remained coaching right he did yes also i had some people hit me up and we were way off on bill belichick's salary they said it's north of 20 million what yeah that's awesome good for him i respect a man that can get paid 20 million dollars a year and then just going to work miserable and scream at everybody yeah that's a lot of money yeah good for him he deserves every every penny every penny. For two and five? Yeah.
Are you back in? No, I don't know. Oh, you're back in.
I didn't really see much of the game, so it's hard for me. They look good.
Max Jones looks very good. If we spoil against the Dolphins, then I'll be all the way back.
This was a spoil game. Huge spoil game.
It just happened too early in the season to be known right now as a spoiler game. But we might look back in December and be like, the Patriots spoiled the Bills back in October.
So are you going to get all pumped up for Sunday? Yeah. Yeah, you should.
I always get pumped up. It's just during the week where it's like, yeah.
I don't know about always pumped up. I bet a lot on the Patriots every game this year.
I convince myself. I get excited.
What happened on last Friday's picks? Do you remember that? Oh, he went with the Bills.

He bet on the Bills.

Okay.

Interesting.

So you were down on the Patriots last week.

Well, I specifically said if you were listening, I don't know if you caught that part, but

I said-

Well, we didn't have headphones.

Because I wouldn't be watching.

Oh.

I'm just going to pick the Bills.

Okay.

Well, it's good to have you back.

It's good to be back.

I miss you guys.

I miss you too.

Your cool throne? My cool throne. That was such a pathetic pause that you did and looked at us i always miss you uh my cool throne is ugandan football yeah yeah so we're we're football guys through and through uh our colleague donnie donnie does came to us with a unique opportunity to help uh like fund and and grow the game of of football in Uganda.
So I don't think you guys have been fully keyed in, but basically there's a bunch of pads in Texas that the Ugandan Football League needs so that they can play and start a Ugandan Football League, and we're going to help with the help of part of my cheesesteak maybe still blue coffee get those pads to uganda and then they're going to have our logo and stuff on their jerseys i love that billy football is going out to coach with uh coach with donnie i don't know how i feel about that that's great um billy football is he going to do more harm than good in educating them on how to play football? That remains to be determined. I think he could take a quarterback and just work one-on-one and mechanics of the quarterback.
But anything strategic, I hope Billy stays far away from. I'm excited for this.
I'm excited. Grow the game.
Maybe coaching is his true calling. Yeah, grow the game.
But yeah, Donnie was like basically, hey, do you guys want to get involved in the Ugandan football league?

Yep.

Easy.

No brainer.

Love it.

Do we know what the name of the team is?

I think we can have a say in that.

The Ugandan Billies.

The Billies. The Billies.

The Billy Blakes.

Yeah, the Billies.

Just happen to be the Billies.

The Cheese Bills.

Yeah, just happen to be the Billies.

The Billy footballs.

Okay. PFT, your hot seat? Got a couple hot seats.
My first one is daylight. Yeah.
Daylight's on the hot seat because this weekend, remember, everybody, set your clocks back. Fall back.
Mm-hmm. Spring forward, fall back.
So we're losing now our daylight this weekend. I hate this time of the year.
The worst. Because you leave work and it's, you know, five o'clock sometimes and it feels like it's seven or eight o'clock at night you don't really get to see the sun so soak it up for the next couple days while you can because on it's saturday night at 2 a.m yep 2 a.m clocks go back uh my other hot seat is hank because hank i want to say first and foremost you did a great job planning out the studio.
You did a great job helping get this office set up.

But you really fucked up one big part of the office the parking lot what about it hank didn't think to take a look at the giant pole that's in the middle of the parking lot and put i don't know maybe some sort of big red blinking light on top of it to let people know hey don't run aground here um because some people drove their brand new car that they bought last tuesday uh right into the pole today wait first time he came to what pole i had i had a telephone pole in the parking lot the first time that i was in here this morning how did you do that there was a there was a truck coming like a big truck coming down this one part of the road and I had to drive in between I had to drive through a parking space to get out of the way of this truck on one side of the parking spot was a car on the other side was a giant telephone pole how giant it was a standard size so like it would be the biggest baseball bat of all time did it come out of nowhere on you yeah it really did because it didn't have a as you know certain towers that prevent this sort of thing would have a big flashing light on time was it see-through i it hit me on my blind side which is the back right uh passenger side door and it put a pretty bad scraping dent. I've never bought a new...

Wait, so you drove into it head-on

or you scraped the side of it?

It side-swiped me.

Or it just came at you?

The telephone pole T-boned me.

Thank God you're not a pilot.

Yeah.

It's not good.

It's the only new car I've ever bought in my life.

Shit.

And it lasted seven days

and now I've got a big dent and scratch in the side. So hopefully I'll get that taken care of.
But not the best. So then I come into the studio and we've got part of my take.
We've got PMTV that we're filming to show like our reaction to the studio and all that. I came in and I was very excited to see the studio.
It looks awesome. And then afterwards I was like, you know what? That might have been a little low energy,

but I just want on record. It's because I just

crashed my car in the parking lot. That's

like five minutes ago. Oh, damn.

Not a great sign, but

we're going to adapt. We're going to overcome.

Yeah. That sucks.

Oh, yeah. There's a pole right there.
Yeah, that is. They got a

picture of the pole pulled up. Yeah, that's pretty.

You know what? I can see it. That

is a pole. Yeah.
And it came out of nowhere. You shouldn't drive your car into it.
We need to put a warning sign on that pole. Can we do that? We need to take PFT's license away.
Like the yellow thing that's painted on it? That's usually the sign for. Yeah, that's very much a pole.
Warning. I can see it.
Well, now there's a little bit of red on the side, too, for my car. It's a pole.
I love that car, too. So you just drove too close to the pole? Yeah, you could say that.
When you say hit. Yeah.
I scraped, like, the entire back right passenger side door on it. And the worst part is, as I'm going through, you hear the crunch, and then you stop.
And then you're like, well, fuck, how do I get out of here? Yeah. And then you hit reverse, and it crunches it again.
and then you're like well fuck how do i get out of here yeah and then you hit reverse and it crunches it again and then i stopped again and i hit i hit forward again to pull away i was just i was just banging this pole i was just jackhammering my car damn um so sorry okay but maybe next time i just don't want it to happen to somebody else i want this to be a teachable moment we should put a sign on that pole being like, hey, heads up. Don't drive your car into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Is that too much to ask? No.
Yeah, I think we can, we'll just label it pole. You'd think as a kicker you would have.
I doinked it. Yeah.
I actually double doinked it because I went forward and then backwards again into it. Yikes.
Yeah. My cool throw.
You can buff that out. And this is the first time you've been driving in like seven years no i drove a little bit i like rented car i'm a good driver in fact one of the best things i like about my car is it's got a heads-up display so i feel like i'm a pilot when i drive it's probably got alerts too yeah my car if i get within 10 feet of something it starts beeping like crazy yeah well it's beeping, it's beeping like crazy the whole time because there was a car in front of me.

There was a car to my side.

There was a truck driving behind me at the time.

Do we have a security camera?

We're going to find out.

I would love to see if we have that footage

of me just pulling straight into that pole.

I'm a great driver, though.

I am.

Right.

My cool throne is curses.

So curses on the cool throne. There's two curses going on right now that affected the Houston Astros last night.
One, the curse of Mattress Mac. Yep.
That apparently was real. And the second, the curse of Ted Cruz.
Yes. So Ted decided he was going to go to the game, and he tweeted out that he was going to be there, and everybody in Texas was like, no, Ted, please don't go because you're 0-4.
Very funny4 at games that you attended. Ted Cruz said, no, I'm still going to go, and now they're 0-5 in playoff games that Ted Cruz has attended.
I think that's just this year. So, yeah, I would storm the Capitol if I was Nashville.
God damn. That's tough for old Teddy boy.
All right. My hot seat is NBA analysts.
So, NBA analysts because the NBA started tonight.

So, they don't have anything to talk about now that the games are being played.

Yep.

And then Giannis signed a three-year extension.

Yeah.

Which is, if you're an NBA analyst, you got to be so pissed.

That was going to be so much of your conversation and content in the next year.

Yeah.

You got it.

That was going to be like your number one storyline. You just got fast forward to kobe versus mj versus lebron yeah it's just like the double whammy of like oh now we have to talk about games and not free agency and also yannis is going to stay well they're going to do they're going to do half an hour blocks of just strict straight up wimben yama yeah and be like how is this guy doing this i'd like to see the the NBA guys be like, but if Giannis didn't sign it, where would he

have gone?

Where would we like to see Giannis?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just keep going forward.

Just don't let the facts ruin what you were planning on doing all summer long.

It seems like Giannis enjoys Milwaukee.

Yeah.

It seems like he really likes that town and it breaks people's brains.

It's like, no, he, he should want to be in New York.

Yeah.

No, no.

He's just bullshit.

Yeah.

He should want to be my, is Vic, is Gianniskoumkou, Jake, I know that. Yeah.
Is Giannis a coward for not wanting to play on the Lakers or the Knicks? Many people are asking. That should get you through at least a week.
Many people are asking. And then my cool throne plug god, tonight, if you're in uh, I'm hosting a comedy show at the laugh factory.

So this is something that we're going to be doing every month.

PFT will host it at some point.

Uh, I think Nick is going to host it.

Brandon even said we wanted to support some of the guys that are still there.

They're trying to be standup comedians.

So I was like, we'll just do a comedy show once a month.

Um, so laugh factory 7 PM sold out.

Nine o'clock has some tickets come out. I'm hosting it's gonna be a great time um got material no i'm i'm hosting it tight five like a tight two okay hosting usually they usually spit yeah but it'd be like last time i was here uh i did this show because i had to pay my bookie this time i'm doing it to try to help everyone in the office.
You should just be really. Nice come up.
You should stink. You should just be really bad.
That way everybody else looks funnier. We're trying to gaslight Brandon into hosting it and smashing a watermelon.
That would be awesome. Which also we should probably, whoever loses our picks thing, that definitely is on the table for the Vegas show.
Smashing a watermelon, going full Gallagher. Yeah, just full Gallagher.
Gallagher was great. You don't think Gallagher was funny.
He was hilarious. Yeah.
Hilarious dude. So buy tickets.
Laugh Factory tonight. Wednesday night.
9 p.m. No baseball on.
No NFL on. So yeah.
Come on out. We still have a few tickets left for the late show.
It's going to be fun. And like I said, we're going to keep doing it, so everyone will get a chance.
Maybe Hank will host one? Who from Barstool is doing it? I mean, if I keep losing this competition, I might have to get five minutes. Yeah.
Start warming up. Yeah, Mook is a very funny stand-up comedian, and when he was thinking about moving with everyone here, I was like, dude, we'll host one of these once a month.
And I think Nick also wants to keep trying to stand up so i was like yeah we'll host it and we'll have everyone rotate donnie will host one you'll host one brandon so yeah it'll be good it's good for the good for the squad um so yeah buy tickets if you have not and you want to come out and see me and obviously everyone here is invited so come on out all right jake hot seat cool throne uh my hot hot seat is coaching youth football. Marcus Freeman, the head coach of Notre Dame, he did a little reversal on a beat reporter for Notre Dame, Tim O'Malley.
He got to ask him questions because the reporter coaches Marcus Freeman's son's youth team. It was awesome.
It was an awesome clip. Here was the question.
My turn? Okay, two things. All right.
Second, third grade championship game. Okay.
Two trips to the red zone, zero points. One play was a reverse pass that was intercepted in the red zone.
You were the offensive coordinator there. Thoughts on the red zone play, Colin? Yeah.
And he also, his second question was his son, Marcus Freeman's son, Nico Freeman, was like, Nico Freeman ripped off an 80-yard run. Afterwards, though, it was called back because he didn't have the appropriate amount of flags.
Whose fault was that? Whose responsibility was that? Yeah, it was great. Yeah, so you don't see that every day.
Yeah. I like to ask questions to the media.
What is the... It's just two flags, right? I think it's two flags.
You have to have one flag on, and he was like, what happened there? Yeah, that seems like a pretty bad coaching mistake that you'd make. Yeah.
So that was funny. I put him on the hot seat.
Yeah. That would quarter.
Myts tickets they're home once again yep against the new orleans saints so let's brainstorm some ideas we had some great submissions for the jerseys last week i want to do blake's just naming blake blake exclusive so if your name is blake and you're a colts fan and you want to go to this game and get sideline passes okay how do we give proof that they're blake uh it's a name in their email but picture of your id yeah and social security card social security card and credit cards you get anyone can fake an id birth certificate social security card all right pmc internet barstool sports we're definitely gonna get a couple social security cards 100 100 yeah i'll also include the name of the street you grew up on your mother's maiden name And your dog, your first pet. Your first pet, yeah, please see that.
All right.

Okay. 100%.
Yeah. Also include the name of the street you grew up on, your mother's maiden name.
And your dog, your first pet.

Your first pet.

Yeah, please do that.

All right.

Okay.

Let's get to our interview.

Someone that we've wanted to have on for a while.

Great interview.

It is brought to you by Body Armor, our interview with Dan Orlowski.

Shout out to Body Armor. Body Armor helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world.

Packed with electrolytes and no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or dyes, Body Armor hydrates the best athletes in the world. And more importantly, us during interviews.
Buy Body Armor today. Visit the Body Armor Amazon store or retailers nationwide.
Available in stores nationwide. Head on over to the Body Armor store on Amazon and get yours today.
We're hydrated with Body Armor. That's how we do all these interviews.

It's hot in this office.

They haven't figured out the AC yet.

So go check out Body Armor.

Amazon stores or retailers nationwide.

The best water, the best drink.

Strawberry banana is the best.

Available in stores nationwide.

Head on over to Body Armor store or Amazon and get yours today.

Okay, here he is, Dan Orlovsky.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, someone we probably should have had on before, but we waited specifically for this moment so he could be the first guest in the new Pardon My Take studio. So he's part of Pardon My Take history.
It is ESPN Analyst. How many years in the NFL? 11? 12 years in the NFL.
I didn't look that up. I just guessed.
12 years in the NFL it is ESPN analyst uh how many years in the NFL 11 12 12 years in the NFL I didn't look that up I just guessed 12 years in the NFL it is Dan Orlovsky Dan thank you for joining us welcome you are the first guest I I hope that you feel uh as acclaimed as you as you should right now yeah obviously I agree it's probably a year or two late so finally getting the invite I'm I'm honored and humbled. I'm thankful to be your guys first.
I've always wanted to be. Always will remember our first.
It might be a little bit painful, but maybe towards the end of the interview, it'll feel a lot better. Yeah.
Two at the same time, being someone's first with two people is a unique experience. So we want to talk some ball.
We want to talk some NFL. We're going to obviously talk some blog posts as well eventually.
But let's start with some NFL talk. Let's start with some NFL talk because I like you and how you analyze the game because you obviously watch the tape.
You know what you're talking about. And guys like us, idiots, get things wrong all the time.
So first question, who's the guy that we get wrong the most right now?

Who's the guy who's playing better than what everyone in the media

and idiots like us are like, that guy sucks.

And you're like, I'm watching the tape.

It's not him.

Yeah, I mean, right now it probably still is Stafford.

I know for a long time it was Stafford.

Stafford is throwing the absolute piss out of the football. I mean, he's throwing it just as good as maybe he's ever thrown it.
Now, maybe it's a little bit because of LA and the Rams, and I think they're either three and three or two and four, so they're obviously on the outside looking in mid-October, but he's playing unbelievable football. I'd also say this, and I'm not like a massive,

this guy's the future of the football team,

but I do think Desmond Ritter has been better than what people think.

He's been better, dude.

There's been tough moments.

I called their London game against Jacksonville in the first half.

It was awful, but he just wouldn't throw the ball.

And I think there's a lot of growth in the last month.

He's a third-round pick, so people expecting him to be Matt Ryan, slow down. But I do think he's had moments when you're like, all right, dude,

90% of the time this kid's played pretty good football,

and then there's 10% that they've got to figure out can they get rid of it

or whatnot.

But last week I thought he played really good against Tampa

outside of some silly red zone film.

So I think Ritter because everyone's like you know I'm on with greeny green he's like Atlanta trade for Justin Fields and I'm like I don't I don't know if that's the answer I think they like Desmond Ritter I'd probably say Ritter oh yeah from the from the one to the 99 yard line Desmond Ritter played pretty well last week and he didn't throw any red picks, but he did fumble the ball twice on the one. It's hard to separate that because as a fan, you watch Desmond Ritter play and he actually makes you think that he is worse than he is because you want to pull your hair out when you get so close to the end zone and then you keep fumbling.
But you're saying that overall, like the quality of throws that he's making, the way he's running the offense, you're saying he's actually not as bad as we think he is. Yeah, absolutely.
And even those fumbles on the one-yard line, one of them is a fumbled snap with the center. How often are we going to see that? Is that really something you go, man, we got to get that fixed from the quarterback? Well, twice.
Twice he fumbled on the one. Yeah, but I'm saying one of them is the fumbled snap and then one he's running with the football and like again you put it in your left hand or you cover it with two hands and those are easily fixable can you can you throw it to the right place are you making the right throws can you make some big time throws two weeks in a row we've seen big time throws late in game so again i'm not sitting here telling like atlanta you don't have to think about quarterback next year but right now i don't know i think they're four and two um I'm 4 sitting here telling like Atlanta, you don't have to think about quarterback next year, but right now, I don't know.
I think they're four and two. Yeah.
Four and two. And you got to be sitting there going, okay, through eight or nine games as a starter, there's some really good moments.
Yeah. They're four and three.
We, we, we, I, I, I, this point in the season. Yeah.
It's like every team, you know, the really good teams and really bad teams and everyone else is like, they're three and four, four and three, something around there, something around there. And I feel like their schedule for the rest of the season is super favorable.
It wouldn't shock me if the Falcons ended up winning 10 or 11 games this year. Completely agree.
The defense is awesome. The defense is absolutely awesome.
They can run it. We know that.
They remembered that Drake London played on their team. Kyle Pitts is starting to get a little healthy so i just think like the if he plays over the next what 10 weeks or so like he has the last three or four weeks last month they'll they'll win 10 games for sure i will consider tempering my my desmond ritter hate right now for me it's mostly just about wanting to see heineke get in the game because he's more fun to watch objective i totally agree with that i totally agree with that yeah i I was on the call.
I was like, Heineke's got to at least be in the conversation for the second half. Arthur Smith was like, absolutely not.
That's why he's the coach. I love Heineke playing, for sure.
I think Ritter's played good. Great answer on Desmond Ritter because that's definitely someone that were like, easy fix.
Start Taylor Heineke or trade for Kirk Cousins. here's another one what offensive coordinator coordinator or like play calling scheme is doing the biggest disservice to a quarterback right now again you watch the tape so i need these answers because we we again we are very dumb and we're like oh he sucks stop calling that play there's a lot more involved to it that you are able to see that we aren't all right so there's a couple disservices i have to go to nfl.com and actually look at the offenses so kenny pickett in pittsburgh you know like if you pittsburgh beats the rams and in our producer friend of all i was like what did you see and i'm like they threw the ball to george pickens yeah if they didn't and all they're doing is throwing back shoulder fades to george pickens so there's such a lack of creativity in Pittsburgh.
There's definitely a disservice because I do think Kenny's had some bright moments. Houston, Indy, Tennessee, they've been good.
Ken's had a bit of Chargers. Oh, Commanders.
I think Biennium and Washington a little bit just because, I mean, early on it was working because Sam is just outrageously aggressive with the football and they were doing really cool protection stuff. Now teams have figured out that's what they want to do.
And instead of teams like trying to pressure the like tackles, they're just blitzing or pressuring up the middle of the offensive line. And it's a, it's a disaster right now.
So, um, I think a little bit just protection wise and Washington's got to get fixed. I do think Matt lafleur in green bay i love matt he's a boy of mine i've known him forever there's way too many like predictable plays on tape you know they're just like when they get in condensed splits here comes stick route so i think they got to open that up a little bit more for jordan i think jordan needs to play better as well certainly when justin was playing at the beginning of the year in Chicago with Luke Getze, that stunk.

Those are probably the main ones.

Okay, I was basically fishing for you to just figure out a way to tell me that Justin Fields is not the problem.

Those were the first two questions.

I could have just directly said, is he the problem?

I don't think that Justin is the problem with what we saw in the first month.

Now, Justin, obviously I talked about that. He didn't have conviction.
He didn't trust what his eyes were seeing. I think the unique situation with Chicago right now is this.
It's hard to see how Justin Fields is their quarterback in 2024. And I'm a Justin Fields guy.
They were halfway through the season just about. He had a month where he didn't play good.
Then he had two or three games when he started to show it. And now he's hurt.
How long is he going to be out? I just think with where they're trending draft slot-wise as well, now hopefully I'm wrong. But I think that this is why I was so bullish on Justin.
Like, dude, if you took Justin Fields and you put him in Philadelphia, he's playing – I don't know if he's playing MVP the way that Jalen did but he's playing in a way we're talking about him being like oh my gosh dude this dude's a weapon and you can use him in so many different ways they just didn't do that until like the fourth game this season so um I think it's going to be tough for Chicago unless something changes over the next two months to sit there and go pound the table. No questions asked.
Justin's going to be the guy just because how disappointing the first six or seven weeks has gone. I always see a cycle with quarterbacks like Justin Fields.
Maybe you can tell me if I'm reading into this too much, but they get into the league and they start to make some plays with their feet. Right.
He's a tremendous running threat. So he makes his make some plays with his feet, whether or not it's a designed run or he scrambles out of the pocket.
He starts playing really well, doing crazy stuff. Everyone loves him.
And then going into the next year, they say, well, we want him to be around for a while, so we're going to make sure that he turns into a pocket passer. And then you lose all the good stuff that he was doing initially that made him so much more of a threat, including, you know, like it opens up a lot of stuff.
If you have a quarterback that's doing design runs, it opens up stuff in not only the running game, but also the passing game that you can do. And so then they try to dial it back and then they realize, Oh yeah, remember when he was really good.
Let's get back to doing that really good stuff. And it's like a never ending cycle with some of these great quarterbacks that are, are dynamic with their legs.
Have you, is it my way out of balance to think that that's what's happening? Not at all. And that's kind of like the beauty of what we're seeing a little bit in Baltimore right now is like Baltimore hasn't taken that away from Lamar.
They still run Lamar. Now it's not nearly as much as they did early on.
And so I always say it this way, like, are they good enough or do they have a skill set that they can survive in the NFL as young players? Like you're just trying to survive as a quarterback, and Justin obviously did that. Then can those skills be used to allow him to thrive? I just don't think that was the case.
Like I just did something for Buffalo. They're asking, well, do they need to run Josh Allen a little bit more? Because the offense has been a little stagnant.
It's always a fascinating like individual kind of perception. Jalen Hurts is not running nearly as much in Philadelphia as this year.
I say it this say it this way dude if you're gonna take those guys and part of the reason why you're gonna take them and draft them and then pay them is because of that skill set then you have to let them use it and maybe it's not all the time or as much as they did when they were younger and you invest that finance in them but dude at some point you have to let lebron go to the rim like at some point you have to let what those guys do best be what they do best yeah yeah you save it forever you're like well we we wasted it so all right so you did something on on josh allen and the bills what is wrong with the bills because we obviously love josh allen he's a friend of ours yeah we every time the bills lose we get a million tweets being like say josh allen stinks i do not think he stinks It's's crazy to say he stinks but it also is crazy to ignore the fact that there's something wrong with their offense and it probably has been kind of wrong for you know the back half of last year and this year yeah I I think Josh is an absolute superstar um I and I'm a huge fan of like him as a player we got the golf golf together this year. He hit me with Buffalo like 19 times.
Uh, so that was a good time. I think like with, with Josh and Buffalo's offense, it is one of those things where there are moments when they play and he plays as good as you can.
And it is a little bit when they, when he pulls himself back, you know, when we sat with Brandon Bean last year, he's like, I got to get Josh to stop being so competitive. I got to curb his competitiveness.
But what makes him great is that, in part, you know, I can make any plays. It reminds me of Stafford when I was with Matthew when he was younger.
So it's like there's moments when Josh plays, you know, I always say, like, dude, at some point you have to play the way the defense is going to ask you to play. No matter how talented you are, Patrick is the best at doing it in that capacity right now.

Sometimes Josh, I just did a New England blitzed him a ton,

and Josh was like, instead of throwing the hot rod, I'm just going to run around and make a play.

Well, when you play against really well-coached defenses, they don't let you do that.

And so I think that's part of it.

I do think that they need to put them under center and go play action way more. They just don't.
And I think the diversity of their pass game is a little bit too Steph-centric. It's like, Steph, run a cool route downfield.
I'd like to see more Gabe Davis and crossing routes and some of that three-layered throws that they don't do enough of. All right.
So off of that, why the hell do quarterbacks not go under center anymore? Is it comfort? Is it comfort? College schemes. Yeah, college schemes.
What is it? Because it does feel like they're just handicapping themselves by not giving the defense multiple looks. Yeah, I totally agree.
I think one of it is lazy coaching, if I'm just being transparent. You can't run RPOs from center, from under center.
And RPOs are basically like cheat plays in my eyes with football. It's like you don't have to, as a play caller, you feel like you don't have to make the perfect play call because in so many ways, the play is almost impossible to defend consistently, especially if you've got man-beating concepts.
You play man, you play man, you could stop RPOs and then teams have designed man beating concepts. But I feel like with RPOs, the coach could always be like, well, you should have just handed it off or you should have pulled it and threw it.
And so I think that because of the obsession with RPOs, we don't go under center nearly as much. I do think the quick passing game and the desire for coaches because the offensive line play is not nearly as good as it was 15, 20 years ago.
So I think they try to cover it up with a quick passing game. I also think this, like a lot of coaches don't know how to teach it.
Like a lot of coaches don't know how to teach a drop back pass game from under center or a play action pass game, you know, because a seven step drop from drop back is nine-step or an eight-step drop from under center. Can you time it up and teach it and all that? I don't know how many coaches have like a really master's degree or PhD in teaching it.
That's crazy. It's nuts to see it like kind of basically be taken out of the game totally.
I hate it. I think it hurts everybody too.
I don't think it hurts just quarterbacks. I think it hurts offensive linemen.
I think it hurts wide receivers. I think it hurts running backs.
Like I think it hurts everybody. And I wish that teams did it more.
Like if you look really good offenses, take Patrick out because he's a freak. You know, if you look at the really good offenses in the league, it's like, well, does Miami do it? Not much, but because Miami's offense is so unique with Tyreek's speed and Jalen's speed, but like Buffalo for a month, they were the best offense in the NFL.
They were doing it a ton. Baltimore is doing it more right now.
Cleveland does it a good amount. Jacksonville does it a good amount.
Philadelphia does it a little bit, but their RPO game, because their offensive line, it's so centricric. Detroit does it a ton Minnesota just put on a clinic on Monday night to do it Atlanta does it a ton San Francisco does it a ton Seattle does it a ton Those are good offenses I want to go down south real quick to New Orleans I'm going to make two points here I think that Derek Carr is not nearly as good as he used to be.
I think that he's suffering from something. I don't know if it's injuries that have mounted up.
He doesn't look like the same playmaker that he used to be. And also the offense under Carmichael doesn't look great overall.
Is it time for Jameis Winston? I don't know if it's time yet, but the fact that it's become a conversation and a fair one is probably the biggest issue. So the Derek Carr thing for me is interesting.
I've always been a Carr guy. I've always thought he was better than people thought.
Two things. This was something that's, I guess I didn't think about it in the moment, but I think about it now, especially after last week's game.
He said he chose New Orleans in part because of the defense. So he's like, every quarterback that wins Super Bowls, it's because they have a great defense.
And I think part of that, if you watch him play, he's thinking, I have a great defense, so I don't need to be aggressive with the ball. I just check it down, don't make a bad play.
It's almost like watching a rookie play where it's like, you're scared to, the word is scared, hesitant. You're, you're so timid to throw the ball downfield and push the ball downfield and be aggressive with it.
I mean, there's some plays against Jacksonville where the receivers are three or four yards downfield. Derek's already throwing the check down to Kamara.
Like we're not even trying to let the play develop. And I don't know if that's because he has such belief in that defense, who I think is really good as well.
And their offensive line hasn't been great this year, but they got to get it figured out for sure. Because like those skill position players are so much better than they're being given the chance to be.
I think just Derek needs to, again, like say, screw it, dude. I'm just going to throw it.
You know, I'm going to be way more aggressive with the football and football and believe that if I give it away, the defense is good enough. Yeah, I've noticed a trend with us in both the Taylor Heineke conversation and also us wanting Jameis Winston to play.
When it's somebody else's team, it's like we're renting a car. It's like, yeah, we want to just take their nice toy out for a little run because it's so much fun to watch Jameis Winston play, but we don't have to actually root for him as our starting quarterback

all the time.

But he would be so much more fun.

They're going with the safety pick right now with Carr.

I would like to see there be just a full dose of Jameis

at least for one weekend.

Just let him air the ball out.

Yeah, I don't disagree.

I just think they've got to get Derek to be like,

Derek, cut it loose, man.

Stop playing so hesitant, so timid,

and just trust what your eyes are telling you.

Because right now, I'm telling you, there's plays you don't even see his eyes look downfield. He's just looking for Kamara to check it down.
Yeah, yeah. All right, you said something there that you thought Derek Carr was better than people said.
This is a tough question. Who's worse than people say? Who is not as good of a player as what people say they are? Yeah.
Yeah, that's put me on the spot. Yeah, it is.
It's a tough question. I'll start Russell Wilson.
Yeah, Russell's been fine this year, but he ain't Russell Wilson anymore. I think that's okay for us to say now.
You know, like, it's the play just, it doesn't warrant big-time quarterback play. And it's been, it's going to go down as the worst trade in NFL history.
It does, unless something drastically changes. When did Russell cross that line from being Russell Wilson to no longer Russell Wilson? Because it's easy to say when he started playing for the Broncos, but there are some people that said it was like the last year, the last two years in Seattle.
I think that's where he broke his hand. Yeah, yeah, that last, remember with the Monday Night Football, the two-minute drill on grass? Yeah, kind of like that time frame because i think so it's 23 22 20 his 2020 year was unbelievable unbelievable yeah like yeah his 21 year uh when he went through a little bit of the injury stuff and started to play really poorly on the back half of it that's kind of when he started to fall off for sure so this is this is you know almost two seasons two full seasons bad ball, you know, pretty pedestrian ball.
So I think him, you know, this is a disappointing guy for me. I was so high on Kyler Murray coming out of college.
I know he hasn't played this year, but Kyler Murray, just with the way he's played and kind of the way that things have been, I guess, handled, he's not been nearly as good as I thought.

I'm a big baker, guys.

Yeah, I put you on the spot.

You know what?

Jordan Love's been disappointing.

He stinks.

That's a good point.

He's been disappointing.

You know, like I said, Brock Purdy, you know, like I was on TV and I said,

if Matt Jones was in San Francisco, he'd be playing like Brock Purdy.

And everyone was like, you're the worst person in the world. I think Brock Purdy is a good player and he's played elite level football, but like, we have to stop thinking that every quarterback can just like it, it, when they're in a great place and they got great people around them, they can still be elite producers and playing at an elite level without being an elite player individually of themselves so um you know i don't i don't know if brock is as lights out as you know patrick mahomes would be in that offense brock is a perfect i love brock for the discourse because he every game it's going to be basically like he's a uh when we've fallen into this we called him a top 10 quarterback he was playing like a top 10 quarterback in the first so you can go off right right but then he obviously has had a little bit of a blip here in the last two games and now it's like see he stinks obviously the truth somewhere in the middle but right brock purdy like what was it as easy as like trent williams is out and debo's out and that's the difference like Like you can see that it, when he doesn't have the full arsenal of superstars,

cause the Niners are superstars.

They have a superstar roster.

Yeah.

I mean,

outside of like three guys on planet earth,

most guys need really good players around them to be awesome quarterbacks.

It's just the reality of the business.

So again,

everyone like you guys probably know,

like everyone says,

I like every quarterback and whatnot.

I actually thought Brock played pretty good on Monday night outside of the last like six

minutes.

And even like his interception, the first interception, that's a throw that he made three

times in that game.

He just throws it so early, which is one of the things he does well.

He just threw too early and the receiver never got to the ball.

Now it's a pick, but you don't sit, I don't sit there and go like, gosh, that's such a

bad throw Brock or you can't throw that ball to that player.

he's thrown got to the ball. Now it's a pick, but you don't sit, I don't sit there and go like, gosh, that's such a bad throw, Brock, or you can't throw that ball to that player.
He's thrown it to the right place. He just throws it so early that the receiver never gets to it.
Now, would that have been Debo instead of Jennings? I would think so. So I don't know.
And then the second interception, dude, there's like 20 seconds on the clock or 28 seconds. He needs to find a way to get 25 or 30 yards he's just finding a way to get a chunk so um i i actually thought outside of really like that last interception even those two interceptions i don't sit there and go oh those are awful i thought he played good so uh i just think he's a good player i don't i don't think that we could sit here right now and say like brock purdy give him 200 million bucks and we're good right right here's fair here's another trick question for you um there's no chance you could have prepared for this one give us a list of your five quarterbacks right now who are perfectly average the most who are the most mid quarterbacks in the NFL guys who like you don't really know where they are as quarterbacks so um yeah I I'd be curious to hear that because I've always put Kirk Cirk cousins in that conversation right now actually i've played he's playing great kirk cousins is definitely troy aikman said he was playing like a top 10 quarterback i actually i think i agree with troy aikman on that one i think he is playing like a top 10 guy but if we're listing the uh the middle five quarterbacks in the nfl who you got yeah so i've always said like there's like six guys that are like scheme independent people independent more often than not like and then there's this group like eight dudes who if they've got the right play caller and you know the good defense and the right support people meaning tight ends wide receivers all that stuff like they'll play like a top 10 quarterback I'll give you the guys that I think are in that world like okay that mid grouping type of thing I love the phrasing um it's not a bad thing it's not a bad thing to be a mid it just means you gotta have a decent team around i love mids yeah um okay number one dak prescott for sure yep yep uh number two ball jared goff no that's wrong you're an idiot wrong you don't watch the tape you're over one for two.
Kirk Cousins for sure. Baker Mayfield.
Yeah. And Geno Smith.
Yeah. Those would be my top five guys that are like, again, I think that those guys could play as high as like a top seven, top eight, top nine quarterback.
Or if my tackle's out and my number one receiver's not there, I might play as a top 12 or top 13 dude. What I love about that is that you listed Dak Prescott as your number one most mid quarterback in the NFL.
That just confirms everything we've said. That makes me feel good, and it also makes me feel good knowing that we can put that on a quote card, and then everyone's going to get so mad at you.
Yeah. No, that one, make sure we put it on social, and it on social and it'll go over well.
Well, the, the, the genesis of this show is essentially like, as long as we can get a couple answers, right. We'll never show our work.
Like, you know, remember when you're in like middle school and you're like looking at the back of the book for, for the math answers and you just scribble some stuff. It's like, I don't know how I got this answer, but I got it.
I got the Dak Prescott is mid. So, uh, we, we, I got a son like that right now.
I got a sixth grade son like that like dude how did you get this i don't know i just did yeah right right so it feels good to be confirmed with that all right uh another question about the league right now outside of the usual suspects so let's take out the 49ers kyle shanahan let's take out what the lions are doing let's take out what the are doing. Who's running the most creative stuff on offense that we wouldn't expect

where you watch the tape and you're like,

these guys are doing something that no one else is doing.

And they're,

and they're doing it really well.

Yeah.

Um,

Oh,

okay.

So first of all,

Cleveland.

Okay.

I think,

I think Cleveland with the way that they do like some of their play action

game.

And then also their screen game is awesome. I'm a huge Stefanski guy, Doug Peterson, you know, with Jacksonville one, the way that they use Christian Kirk and Travis ETN too, with their multiple tight ends, Houston, for sure.
Like Houston with Bobby slow, it coming from the Shanahan stuff. Big time.
Dude, I have to, can I put Andy read in?, sure. Or did you say no? No, you can put Andy Reid because we were saying Andy Reid and the Chiefs have reached final form of the Patriots with bringing back Nicole Hardman and having him be good right away.
And then also the fact that they are – it felt like overnight they have a really good defense. And Patrick Mahomes isn't throwing these home run balls anymore he's beating people a completely different way and that's the true test of a dynasty where it's like they've transformed in front of our eyes to a completely different team and it just equals wins as always yeah totally oh before i go to the nfc nfc i'm also going to do change dyke in an indie but here's the the dumbest thing that i see with kansas city right now i saw it for the past couple of weeks.
They're doing such unique at no one in the NFL is doing it where they are like doing unbelievable stuff to defensive lines with certain protections. Dude, there's clips against the chargers where they had defensive ends running to the sideline, literally running to the sideline and both tackles are running out to sideline with them, staying behind the line of scrimmage.
And Patrick's just set up behind a guard, launching a 40-yard crosser to Travis Kelsey. They got defensive linemen just because of the way that, like they're moving people at the snap and ball fakes and whatnot.
So I think that's the really interesting thing with Kansas City is like Andy Reid's been like, I don't have dominant receivers, but I'll just make defensive linemen look completely stupid. Um, I mentioned Stiken.
Oh, Ben Johnson for sure. In Detroit, Ben Johnson's probably at the top of the list, uh, with his creativity to play action game.
Um, I thought O'Connell was great on Monday night. Again, I'm a huge Shane Waldron fan in Seattle.
I think he's unreal with the stuff that he does with launch points and Gino and whatnot. So in McVay, I'm obviously a huge fan of.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's interesting with Kansas city that Travis Kelsey is able to get so open in the middle of the field all the time. And it's something like, do you know how far back this goes? It happens every single year, every single game.
It feels like where he'll just put a break off these like 80 yard catches because he sits down in zone coverage and Mahomes finds him is there a way to to get that to stop how do you how do you protect against something like that right in the middle of the field I think it's hard to protect against it because I don't know if like again this is a little I don't know if Patrick or Travis actually runs routes I honestly don't I think like Travis knows what the play call is and like where guys are supposed to be. And he just runs to where the defense can't, you know, get to where he knows where the defense is going to go.
And he's like, Oh, I'm supposed to run a corner route here and it's covered three. And I know that the safety is going to be.
So instead of running a corner, I'm just going to like run to the hash and sit down and Patrick sees it the same way. i honestly think they just don't run routes i just they chase grass almost it's almost like watching like a like an old school uh run and gun like college football team so um is there a way to stop it dude i think i've seen it once maybe realistically since the night in the naysay title game two two years ago um like that shut him down I know Tampa did in the Super Bowl, that was more D-line

stuff. I just think his

understanding of football

is so unique that

it's almost impossible to cover him.

He just runs to open space.

It's fantastic. Even if he's not

supposed to.

Then he knows, okay, there might be

open space, but he's got another receiver coming

there, so he might go to where that receiver

actually is leaving from because there's going to be more.

I just think he's super

Thank you. And then he knows, like, okay, there might be open space, but he's got another receiver coming there, so he might go to where that receiver actually is leaving from because there's going to be more.
I just think he's super, super smart. It's a beautiful way to look at it.
Yeah, I mean, they just broke. We were saying on Monday's show, but the Chiefs, I think in the fourth quarter, they had an incompletion of Travis Kelsey, but they had broken a streak that Patrick Mahomes had thrown 29 straight passes to Travis Kelsey that were a completion, which is insane.
Dude, he had a, they had a play against Chicago actually this year where Travis a hundred percent does not run the route that he's supposed to run. I saw that.
Yeah. They talking about it mic'd up after too.
Yeah. And Patrick throws it before he actually doesn't run the right route.
Like he's about to run the wrong route and Patrick's throwing it. And you're sitting there going, how does Patrick know that he's not going to run the right route? He's going to run the wrong route, but at the right time, it's, it's, it's wild.
It was, it was a crazy clip because obviously just, I mean, the bears just look stupid in that game and they look stupid overall, but they, on the sideline, Patrick said, he was like, I knew you were going to run that route that wasn't called.

And he's like, they were talking about it and laughing about it.

So they played just at a higher level.

That's why it's impossible to cover, man.

They break rules.

Yeah.

All right.

So I want to talk a little bit about your career, Dan.

We'll get to the blog, which we have some questions about the blog.

But was the most important thing that happened in your entire career, Matthew Stafford winning a Super Bowl?

The two things.

Two things, I think.

Okay.

In 2019, when I took a very hard stance, Wentz versus Prescott,

and Wentz led them to the playoffs.

They were decimated with injuries, and I was like,

he's the better quarterback.

That happened.

I did that whole garbage bag routine. I was still kind of young in this, in the business.
So that was a huge one. Um, Oh, you know, maybe three, uh, when Tampa won the super bowl.
Cause when Tom signed, I was like super bowl done and everyone's like, you're an idiot. Uh, and then when Stafford won the super bowl for sure.
Yeah, sure. Cause that was, I mean, you were, you one Stafford defender.
And it was lazy, but we could all be like, well, look, the Lions stink every year. And then he goes to the Rams, wins the Super Bowl.
It's like, well, Dan Orlovsky was right the entire time. I got lucky a little bit on that one.
I remember some playoff games. Dude, I was just, honestly, I felt it.
I wasn't just saying it, saying it. I honestly believed that he was so dumb talented.
And I knew how good Sean was because I was with Sean, you know, his first year in L.A. and with Jared.
And I knew how smart Sean was. And I knew like once Sean got a hold of Matthew, he would become so much better than anyone ever thought.
So and I got a little lucky with the way some of those games ended. But for sure.
Yeah, matthew was so good yeah you also had some holdover carson wince takes which affected me personally and a lot of other people out there who have families and friends that might have experienced carson wince as their starting quarterback uh because you were right about your carson wince over prescott take i think you held on to that for a while and you i think i think to be honest with you to this day you still think that carson wince could be an elite nfl quarterback even though he's not playing all all evidence to the contrary you will ignore you think that carson wince could step in right now and be a top 10 guy if carson wince was um off the field as talented as he is on the field he would be but he's just too much of i guess like a unique, like a unique personality, maybe a weirdo, headcase, whatever people want to call him. That's sort of the thing that I didn't know about.
I still thought he was so talented, man. I really do.
But no, I'm past putting him in the MVP conversation. That's good.
That's good. You know, to get off a take, we're going to get back to Dan in a second.
He's brought to you by Proper 12 Irish Whiskey. That's right, rich and smooth.
Proper number 12 Irish Whiskey.

It's smooth to the core.

Proper number 12 Irish Apple is a brand new product they've got.

Check it out.

It's Irish Apple.

That's right.

It is fresh.

It is apple.

It's crisp.

It's Proper number 12 Irish Apple.

It's founded by Conor McGregor. For every bottle sold, a donation is made to support our brave first responders shoot your shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey pour the roar order your bottle of proper number 12 Irish whiskey from Drizzly check it out right now it is delicious have you guys had the oh yeah proper number 12 oh yeah it's good stuff I love it this interview is also brought to you by Amazon Music hey Prime members did you know that you could be listening to this podcast episode and all Barstool Sports podcasts on Amazon Music ad-free? It's included with your Prime membership.
All Amazon Prime members also get access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts. Enjoy shows like Part of My Take, Spitting Chicklets, and many more.
To start listening, download the Amazon Music app or visit Amazon.com slash barstool 23. That's amazon.com slash barstool 23.
Shout out to all the people that have started listening to part of my take because they heard this ad read on NPR is daily show. And then they're like, Oh, I can listen to part of my take with no ads on Amazon.
Then they started listening to us. Big crossover audience there.
Your brain fell out out of your ears that's right uh I can't think of two uh more unlike podcasts than than the daily and then part of my take but we we're glad that you're here uh amazon.com slash barstool 23 that's amazon.com slash barstool 23 check it out on the Amazon Music app now here's more Dan Orlovsky all right right, here's a question that don't take offense to it because I actually mean this genuinely. A lot of people see backup quarterbacks and they're like, that guy stinks.
And why don't they get so-and-so starter that started for so long in the NFL? He'd be a better backup. I think backup quarterbacking is a very hard job and it takes the correct temperament and people don't give it enough credit.
You're a backup quarterback for 12 years in the NFL. What is it about being a backup quarterback that people get wrong consistently? Yeah.
A couple things. Number one, you're still ridiculously talented.
There's 65 people on the planet that have that job just about. So you're still still I would say like most backup quarterbacks are just as talented as the 12 to 32 starter they just can't do what those guys do as consistently or you know like maybe they do it two or tenths or three tenths of a second slower than the starter does.
And that's the difference of this guy makes 90% of the plays versus this guy makes 80% of the plays. So I think that – I think the second thing is, dude, it's so hard to keep your job when you get such little opportunity to prove your worth.
Yep. You know, like everybody else on the team gets to play.
And so, like, you know, you're not good or you're not deserving of this job. Well, I just had eight tackles on special teams, so you don't know what you're talking about.
But, like, for the backup quarterback, it's like I gave 47 high fives and nine thumbs up. You know, like, your performance doesn't really matter because you don't get the opportunity.
So, like, trying to prove worthiness of that spot on a daily basis is is a huge challenge and i think that's one of the things that like minimize some guys careers because they either think that they're better than they actually are like the best thing that happened to me dude was when the nfl told me you're a backup quarterback you know and like at some point you just got to accept it you know and then you could have the career uh and then i think the third thing is like dude you gotta be so good in the locker room because the locker room doesn't like you or doesn't get along with you or you don't fit it or impact it like they'll just get rid of you and get someone else so um but i i think the biggest thing is like the talent you're still super super super talented yeah yeah yeah i mean it's it's yeah being a backup quarterback i think would be uh a dream job for me. If you back up too far, though, then you get to the third spot being a third string quarterback.
I feel like you go to work every day feeling like you might not get in the office that day. Yeah.
Like they may have changed your key card. Were you ever a third stringer? I was like because when I got into league, they still had three.
Right. Like they still had three, we would all dress.
I was a third stringer my first year. Um, I think like two or three years, I was the third stringer.
I think it was my first year, maybe my third year. We had Josh McCown and Kitna JTO Sullivan Stanton.
So I think like two or three years, you know, we, we brought you up a couple of weeks ago because, uh, we wanted to, I, I should have relayed this to you at the, at the time I should have hit you with a dm but you need to rebrand yourself everyone's like oh dan orlovsky runs out of the back of the end zone which is maybe the funniest play in nfl history what an idiot that's what people say i didn't say that uh you do you know that you are the second uh against the spread quarterback best against the spread quarterback for the detroit lions you're six and one against the spread as a starter for the Detroit Lions. You need to go around and tell everyone that.
Like 6-1 and you played on a bad team. I'm requesting this clip for social media so I can post it.
Make sure you put it. We'll put in the part about what people say about how stupid you looked against the Vikings.
We could skip over that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, we could skip over that. We could just do the spread.
Six and one. I didn't know that.
That's good money. Dude, we were unreal versus the spread in college, too.
We used to have dudes coming up to us all the time. You paid for my partying this weekend when I was at UConn.
So maybe history against the spread. Yeah.
I got to gamble more than that. Yeah, maybe you're the best against the spread.
So when people put that clip online, I feel like you've had a good humor about it now, but did it bother you for a while? Because it is the dumbest play in NFL history. There's no question.
It still bothers me. It still bothers me.
Really? Yeah, not to a point where I guess maybe bothers I still sit there can be like, guys, it's 15 years ago. Everybody in the world that has any attention to the NFL has seen that play.
So I'm so often. I'm going to watch it again right now.
Yeah, just pull it up. Maybe add to the – get it over 10 million views.
There might be 10% of our audience hasn't seen it yet. We got to make sure they see it.
It's the amount of steps you took out of bounds, I think, is what it is. Because guys will step out of bounds, and you will rightfully so.
You'll start trending, and you'll be like, vindication. Have you guys ever heard this story of when I got to the sideline? Because I've shared that.
No, tell it to us. So obviously the play happens.
Get to the sideline. And again, I take a long journey because I'm out of bounds.
What was that? I get to the sideline and I'm having the thoughts in my head of like, yo, you are an effing idiot, dude. Like that was as bad as it gets.
And I look up and Calvin Johnson and do you remember Roy Williams, the receiver from Texas? Yes. They look at me and die laughing, just burst out laughing.
And they just, they, they just can't contain themselves. So in in that moment i was like all right they that makes me feel just a little bit better that they just could not control their their laughter i'm counting terrible i'm counting right now you took 12 steps out of the back you did an entire recovery process i imagine what like what when you woke up the next morning we were like ah no there was a lot of nfl sunday like no one's gonna remember that you're like the guy you're like steve carell from 40 year old virgin when he's like those guys are cool they won't bring that up again the best i think i was like social media wasn't as big back then as it is now obviously um i think the difference is gardner did it a couple weeks ago and they won we did it and i did it we lost by two so uh in oh and 16 season so like that that one makes it stick just a little bit long it's got staying power because of that you do like to welcome people to the club though because when gardner did it you were like hey gardner it's not so bad and then jimmy g did it a couple years ago and you're like hey look the end gardener i dm'd gardner welcome to the club i haven't gotten anything back from him which is disappointing not necessarily a club you want to be in wait did they on monday or tuesday when they did film study did they pull it up and they're like hey you see those white lines like that's out of bounds i don't remember dude i do because like we were oh and four oh and five that was like a contentious time because they had just like put john kitna in ir for like challenging our coaches in a meeting so that was was like a weird time.
So there was no laughter had in that building, man. No laughter.
I want to ask you about that season. It's interesting you brought up Kitna and getting put on IR for challenging coaches, though.
I want to talk about that a little bit. Like they put him on injured reserve because he was like, hey, what we're doing isn't working.
No, this is what happened. We were playing San Francisco and Kitna gets pressure and he like runs, he's playing court runs.
And like, instead of trying to get outside of the pocket and running away from three defenders, he like runs up into what he thinks is a seam and gets like a yard. And our coaches are like, well, John, what are you doing? And he's like's like what do you mean this isn't a team meeting because they've gotten to the point where like we watched the game as a team so they could tell us how much we sucked in front of the whole team and not just the offense and kitten is like what are you talking about they're like the the running lane is outside here he's like i'm scrambling from pressure and they're like well you should get here and so kitnell lost it he was like fine fine you guys what from now on instead of me doing quarterback drills i'll come run with the running back so i can learn where the holes are after that it was it was like hey he's gonna be on ir and then he was done for the year so that was like the first game after that had happened it was it was downhill that's crazy i think that you've done a pretty good job trying to rebrand yourself as not being the back of the end zone guy to just being the guy with maybe the worst and weirdest food takes.
It just takes in general online. And it's almost like you're a glutton.
Hopefully not football takes. No, I'm talking about like off the field stuff.
Off the field, there's a lot of red flags when it comes to Dan Orlowski. You would not pass our – if we were at the combine and we had an interview with you we'd be like not drafting that weirdo no so i'm weird dude i'm super weird yeah and i love that you own it i love that you're like yes i i have very strange tastes very peculiar food tastes i know that you eat like raw chicken you don't put salt and pepper or seasoning on your chicken is that true i certainly don't eat raw chicken but i cook it um because I'm not trying to puke, but I eat super plain chicken for sure.
I'll just go down to the cafeteria here at ESPN and I'll get cubed chicken and just eat it by itself, grilled chicken. Yeah.
I also heard from a credible source that you were in college when you found out that eggs came from chickens. Is that true? No.
Who is this person spreading this ridiculous rumor? Because I had someone texting me about that last week. Someone texted me about it last week and I was like, no, I'm not that dumb.
There's somebody that I think people trust that is spreading that rumor about you there. You should own it, dude.
You clearly didn't know that eggs came from chickens. It's okay.
We all learned stuff in college. I'm not telling you that for sure I didn't say that.
I don't recall saying that. Now we're backing up a little bit.
I like that. That's a common problem for you.
We'll share, okay? Up until maybe I was like 12 years old, I thought testicles were actual Play-Doh in your ball sack. So look, we had dumb thoughts.
I don't ever pretend to be intelligent. I only just say, I know football.
That's it. All right.
So wait, you also know. I don't know.
Did anyone send the clip to you? Or did you listen when we did a reading of your blog? Of course they did. Okay.
What did you think? Four ways to avoid temptation when on the road. It was a great blog.
Focus on knowing yourself. Focus on saying.
Do you guys want the honest answer answer here yeah it was i mean it was an all-time blog it was because what we will tell you what we took away from it and then you can yeah yeah what we took away is that dan orlovsky is so horny that he can't trust himself in a room alone with him he has to be surrounded by dudes at all times otherwise he's gonna start jacking off yeah you can't you have to watch football otherwise you'll just be ejaculating everywhere i mean there's probably some truth to that but uh the honest answer because i i knew this was so my dead ass honest answer maybe not perfect for the show is i come from a broken family okay oh god damn it why'd you do that to us this isn to us? This isn't best dad session. So like I, when I got married, I was like, I'm, I, I'm doing this one time.
I know what it's like to have like 97 step moms in the course of like six years. So I'm doing it one time.
And obviously that stuff's going to lead to, you know, mommy and daddy breaking up. So I try to avoid situations that might make a bad decision.
You just divorce shamed us. That's fucked up.
Yeah, you know, you guys opened the door. Wait, that's actually incredible because you could have played that card on us when we did the reading.
You just waited for the day where, like, I know this is going to come up, and I'm going to just fucking hit them with the Uno reverse and make them feel like shitheads. Yeah, you're a real son of a bitch.
You've been hanging on to that one. That's so fucked.
You kept it in your back pocket. Well, there was one part of the blog where you said, when I say I'm in a group, you're talking about not being alone with women.
You said, when you're in a group, I mean a group. John Kitna taught me to never be one-on-one with a female.
John Kitna taught you that? That was something that I learned with my time in Detroit. The weird thing is, i'm one-on-one with people with i i i do have moments when i'm in a room with a girl oh okay that's a quote card right there that's hot yeah same me too me too dan damn dan honestly i know you got down like that it's pretty cool being alone in a room with a chick it's crazy it's crazy it's not for everybody but i'm able to manage it man uh well it's a good blog i mean listen i here's here's what i'll say is that i know i could tell just the way following you on social media you are a great dad and i respect the hell out of that so like that's you know i appreciate it yeah that's the most dude like coming from again not trying to bash my dad or whatnot but like coming from the childhood that's like the the thing that for sure was after i achieved football i was like i just want to be a really really good dad and i know that i can't be if if i'm gonna do stupid stuff or make stupid choices when it comes to that stuff see this is why we should never have had you on yeah because you just took away like so much material from us and like this is what happens we have guests on all the, and everyone just comes away being like, we love this guy.
We might have to just delete this whole interview. Yeah.
I can give you some advice, though. You know what I do? I'll send out a weird tweet if you want me to.
What do you got? Because I got like three minutes, and then I got to go to NFL Live. You just be yourself.
We know the weird tweets will come. You'll be like, oh, does anyone ever not wipe? Well, yeah, that's the one thing I wanted to talk about here with you was there was another tweet that you had where you talked about how many days is it acceptable to go without showering when you're on vacation and you have a pool and then parentheses saltwater pool that you go into every day.
So you tweeted that out. You thought it was two to three days.
Turns out a lot of people disagreed with you and thought that was disgusting. And then you deleted that tweet shortly thereafter.
So can you walk us through? Did you have a change of heart? Why did you delete that? No, literally because what happened was a friend of ours copied the tweet and sent it to a group text that I'm in with like me, my buddy, his wife, my wife, and like question mark. And my wife looked at me, this was like a week after, maybe a month after the whole towel thing that people made it too big a deal about as well.
And she was like, take it down. And I was like, why? And she was like, people are going to think like I'm a terrible wife and I don't have any type of control over our house or whatnot, or that you're a disgusting pig and I don't clean your shower or I don't clean your towels and whatnot.
So I was like, all right, I'll give you this one. I'll take it down because I wanted my wife to still be willing to sleep with me.
Yeah, that's smart. Between me and you, you would go for two to three days without showering if you have a pool that you're dipping into.
Salt water. Salt water pool.
100%. I did it in the summer.
All right, last question. I know you've got to run.
This has been awesome, Dan. Rowback question, R-h-o-b-a-c-k.com q-zips polos joggers shorts everything uh hoodies all of it roback is the best i'm wearing the joggers right now use promo code take 20 off your first purchase promo code take roback.com last question your connecticut guy through and through give us the rankings of pizza uh number one pizza's colony grill number two yeah yeah colony grill no questions asked in fairfield though it's got to be the one in fairfield number two sally's number three modern number four pepies not a massive pepies guy wow all right so i i i stumbled upon colony grill like six years ago and like it is the best pizza in the world.
Otto Sausage is the best. I wish I could recreate it.
I have a dream of Colony Grill letting me open a pizza place in Chicago that just replicates it because it is that good. So I'm happy.
That's a good answer. Colony Grill is probably going to be upset to know that Dan Orlovsky rated them as the number one pizza.
Yeah, because you have bad taste. That might be an issue for him.

Maybe I'm the one who's got it all together and everyone

else is just screwed up. Nah, I don't think

so, dude. We read that blog post.

All right.

Well, Dan, we'll do this again.

It had been too long. First guest in the new studio.

Part of Pardon My Take History. Thank you so

much, man. Appreciate it.
You guys are the best.

Appreciate you, boys.

Dan Orlovsky was brought to you by

Pardon My Cheese Steak. That's right.
Pardon My

Thank you. much man appreciate it you guys are the best appreciate you boys dan orlovsky was brought to you by pardon my cheesesteak that's right part of my cheesesteak has unleashed a menu that will have your mouth watering in no time hold on to your taste receptors because we're introducing the stars of the show we've got the chicken bacon ranch cheesesteak it is so so good chicken bacon ranch is an elite cheesesteak they have the irresistible chicken tenders and the monumental Big Cat combo, which is what's in the Big Cat combo? Cheesesteak, fries.
And a soda? A drink. Big Cat's always ordering that.
Fuck yes. The irresistible, monumental Big Cat combo.
Whether you're a cheesesteak aficionado, a finger food enthusiast. Ug ugandan yes yeah or if you're ugandan uh simply someone who values the art of comfort cuisine this menu has something for everyone i actually want to go to uganda now i've been meaning to take a gorilla trek and go see the mountain gorillas there this is a good excuse order now on part of my cheesesteak.com also available on uber eats and we're in stadiums great stadium food perfect stadium food check out part of my cheesesteak my uh my son has named my car the gorilla car oh that's sweet makes me feel so fucking awesome I like that yeah my wife's car is the tiger car pretty cool that is sweet yeah he's just like you're you drive the gorilla car like fuck yeah I do fuck yeah I do I drive the gorilla car all right uh let's finish up the show we have the new lottery ball machine about to be unveiled in a minute but before we do that jimbos today's jimbos brought to you by the one and only snickers the most satisfying solution for all those rookie mistake moments packed with chocolate caramel peanuts and nougat snickers is a go-to play when life throws blitzes your way.
Rookie mistake? Maybe you just need Snickers. Learn more at Snickers.com slash NFL Snickers Ice Cream Elite.
Hank. I had a golf tournament this past weekend with my dad and some buddies.
I thought it would be funny to buy some exploding golf balls to prank someone by tossing them one of the balls if they needed an extra one. I kept the exploding ball in my pocket the whole round and eventually forgot about it.
As I went up to hit on a par three, I took what felt like my best swing of the day, and poof, I crushed the exploding golf ball. My friends and dad all laughed their asses off, and I proceeded to chunk and lose my ball on the next swing.
It's a good bit, though. Exploding golf ball rules.
It always plays. We need to start doing that to each other.
Yeah, we got to start doing that to each other.

Exploding microphones.

Exploding microphones. That'd be good.

Yeah.

Exploding cheesesteaks.

Would it explode if you putted, or is it just like if you hit it with a full shot?

They hit it pretty hard.

Yeah.

They hit it pretty hard.

Yeah.

Although, probably.

That'd be funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's always great when they do the exploding golf ball on the gender reveal golf balls. It's wait what the hell I like it when they just give them regular golf balls Yeah Oh yeah that's what it is I'm stupid Yes Because yeah You can always say like that would have been a hole in one Like this guy was like that was my best swing of the day Yeah Yeah I had tickets to see Shane Gillis I checked my tickets on Monday to see when the show started and found out that the show was this past Saturday, October 21st, not this upcoming Saturday, Saturday, October 28th.
So I'm out a solid $350. Don't get to see Shane Gillis, and my wife is pretty convinced this is my fault.
Well, it is. But also...
At least it wasn't something she wanted to go to. Yeah.
Well, here's what I'll say is that Shane, who we actually... People are like, when are you going to get Shane on? When are you going to get Shane on? We actually have had like a back and forth where we've, we had to cancel on him once.
He had to cancel on us once. We are definitely going to have him on.
We're going to, I told him anytime he wants to come up. So we're going to do that.
But I think Shane would say to this, your wife already knows you're an idiot because you're a Shane Gillis fan. It's like being a fan of our show.
Right. It's not like it was Taylor Swift concerts.
They were going to that show because he wanted to go see Shane Gillis, and she was like, okay. If you're an AWL listening to this right now, your wife knows you're an idiot because you listen to us, and we're idiots.
Yeah. Also, you should have had friends that were going to this show too.
This should have been a group thing. Somebody would have caught this, but because anytime one guy is in charge of his own calendar, calendar he's going to fuck it up you need like three or four guys to to cross check all that jane does have a funny bit in his stand-up special that just came out on netflix which is very funny it's uh called beautiful dogs and he's like how many women here are here because your husband or boyfriend is like shh listen this part of the podcast it's's so funny.
And it's like every single woman. So yeah, she's used to it.
Totally. Hey boys, this past weekend, I came to Chicago from Nevada for Raiders bears and to pop around the best city in the nation.
One guy in our group had to go straight to the airport from the game. So put the other 14 of us in charge of bringing his bag home with us.
We didn't realize till our Denver layover that no one grabbed his bag so it's still sitting in an airbnb in wicker park biggest jimbo move of the trip by far oh no i'm gonna say this is that guy's fault you can't that you were getting out of dodge quick like that's on you can somebody else bring my bag with and no one like no one everyone brings a carry-on like no one's checking bags you're just gonna you know that would be the most an extra bag. Yeah, that'd be the most annoying thing ever for your friend to be like, hey, can you make sure you grab my bag? Ship your bag.
I actually don't think it's that big of a deal because you know where it is. Well, you're nice.
You know where the bag is. It's not lost.
You just call the Airbnb person to ship it for you. Yeah, they're not going to do that.
I'd rather this than it being missing. No, I'd just be like, fuck it.
If I'm the Airbnb, I'm like, no, I can't find it.

It's not here.

Yeah.

Somebody else must take it.

Nah, fuck that.

Yeah, that bag's gone.

That bag's gone forever.

But the guy who did that is the real-

Yeah, he can't be mad at you.

Yeah, your friends are not responsible for your bag.

Especially if it wasn't one person.

If he was just like, will someone take it?

Yeah, right.

You got to sign someone. Yeah.
So that is that guy's Jimbobo it's not your friend's jimbo yeah yeah uh last one uh sup fellas i was listening to the podcast at work and one of the producers said he works so hard during the fall and winter that he's going to take the summer easy i work 10 to 12 hour days year round and figured hey i work hard too i should do the same i went in and told my bosses and she laughed me out of her office while calling me an out-of-touch millennial. Is she right? Interesting.
Hank, are you an out-of-touch millennial? I think you are. The age has always messed me up.
I don't think he's a millennial. With, like, millennials, Zoomers, Gen Z.
He might be a millennial. No, you're a millennial.
When year were you born? 93. We're the oldest millennials.
Yeah. So then Hank could be a millennial.
Or no, we're the... Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.
Yeah. We're the oldest millennial.
93. Yeah, you might be.
It might be to 95. Let's see.
Generations. Yeah.
Hank. This is a millennial office.
So we got to get, you know, over the old. I don't want anyone born between 1981 and 1996.
Okay. Hank is an out of touch millennial.
Yeah, you are. Hank, question about your strategy in terms of work taking it off all summer.
What Friday this summer will we be making up you missing Sunday? What do you mean? Which Friday are we going to pick in July or August that you're going to come to work because you're making up the time for NFL Sunday.

I'm sure there will be like one.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I would like you to declare it beforehand.

Okay.

Like this is the Friday, remember October,

whatever it was, 22nd.

I'm working today like it's October 22nd.

Fine.

Yeah.

So you stay here until 1 in the morning on a Friday.

Yeah.

And I'll stream more. Because I think that's a full workday i think a weekend i think it should be july 5th i think that's the

one that you should do you should pick one where there's weather in the forecast no forecast yeah

right now on the calendar i'm looking at jake there is rain expected for friday july 5th

2024 i think hank should come in for that one no this is like this is like nfl flexing schedule

you have to declare it 12 days in advance and just pray that it rains so you don't miss out on golf

Thank you. July 5th, 2024.
I think Hank should come in for that one. No, this is like NFL flexing schedule.

You have to declare it 12 days in advance.

And just pray that it rains so you don't miss out on golf.

Well, that's the beauty of this office.

I can just golf here.

No, you have to treat it like it was October 22nd where we're in the old studio, so there's nothing to do.

Hank should actually have to watch all the football from that day.

Yeah, you should have to.

We'll live stream it.

That's a perfect live stream.

We'll get the red zone from that day.

And it works out because the Patriots beat the Bills. Yeah.
Yeah. It's a great day.
Okay. Are we ready? Jake, do you have any retractions? Question mark? There's a few.
So are we making this just retractions or retractions, errors, and omissions? I think it should be. Well, they're all kind of the same thing.
It should be retractions, but then we get to declare whether or not we actually retract it. It's retraction is questionable.
It's just like adding context. No, no, no.
It's just did we fuck something up? Okay. No.
Okay. Nice.
Yeah, fuck yeah. I had a few omissions.
We pitched a perfect game in our first podcast here. That's amazing.
That's incredible. Let me hear an omission and see if we're going to do omissions.
I don't think I'm down with omissions. Okay.
This is a test run. Nick Saban, so in addition to LSU they have to beat, they still also have road games at Kentucky and at Auburn in the Iron Bowl.
Not doing omissions. Not doing omissions.
And then also Connor Stallion's Venmo to Michigan recruiting staff are with the caption GA the day before Georgia played Ohio State in the Peach Bowl. That could mean anything.
It could mean literally anything. General admission.
All right, retractions only. Omit that.
All right, you guys ready? This lottery ball machine fucking rocks. So we're never going to lose a ball again.
And Andrew Manley, who's one of our tech guys, shout out our tech team.

They've done a great job.

It's been a little bit of a fire alarm getting everything set up.

He handed me a report, and they literally have a report.

Every single ball was weighed,

and it has to be within a certain amount of weight,

so there's no funny business.

Because you can rig the lottery that way. Right.

That's one of the strategies that people have used.

So I have it.

Are we ready?

Are we ready to look?

Here we go. Turn the light on.
So this counts. We're back to keeping track.
First drawing since July 20th. Officially.
Who was the last official winner? Me. They told me to count it.
They told me to count it. What color do you guys want? What color do you guys want? What color do you guys want? I like that blue You're better than that, Jake I like the electric blue I'm just doing what I'm told You're better than that That's my favorite color of body armor right there That blue, right Jake? Two One There it is Look at this thing It's a beast That thing looks like a sweet ass bong So, yeah, it does We should smoke out of there at some point So here's the only question I have to ask you guys So it's a beast that thing looks like a sweet ass bong so yeah it does the smoke out of there at some point so here's the only question i have to ask you guys so it's a little different than the old lottery ball machine in the fact that i hit start all the balls go crazy and then i have to hit select for it to pick a ball how much time should i wait for the select five seconds five seconds Five seconds.
All right. Okay.
Are you guys ready?

Numbers.

Hank, have you ever gotten this?

Hank, have you ever gotten this?

No.

Have you?

I've never gotten this. Three.

Have you?

Three.

Yeah, actually, I did before.

PFT, have you?

Yeah, I did.

You just weren't here.

Yeah, you weren't here.

This was actually on Sunday when you were on vacation.

We came over here and ran a bunch of simulations.

I'm so excited.

All right.

What was your number?

I took 20.

Okay. 69.
Memes, what was your number? I took 20. Okay.

69.

Memes, you ever gotten this?

Nope.

Max, what's your number?

Three.

18.

What did you guess?

I'm going to go with 56.

It's going. That's nice.
Those balls are bouncing it it fires up so fast slapping jake all right i'm gonna hit the selects ready oh 72 it goes up fast whoa 72 that thing can suck and then watch this one up there Yeah, no, no, it drops. Then watch this.
Then you just drop it. Elise?

No, wait.

Oh, we took another one up there. Yeah, no, it drops.
Then watch this. Then you just drop it.
Elise? No, wait. Oh, reset.
Boom. Oh, that sound is crazy.
Yeah. Should we do one more? Yeah.
Let's just do one more. I kind of missed, like, the anticipation.
Shut up, Max. Shut up, Max.
Oh, Max. So we can make it a few more seconds.
Max, prediction for tonight, because people are going to be listening to this part of the show and I want to make sure it's in the lottery ballpark.

Seven to seven to Phillies Phillies.

OK, I thought you were going to say the Diamondbacks.

No, no, no.

OK.

All right.

Well, I just wanted to clarify.

All right.

There's there's another curse that he didn't talk about with baseball.

Crucio.

What's that?

No team has ever beat the Brewers in the playoffs and not made it to the World Series. Oh, wow.
No team has ever beaten the Phillies in a Game 7. That's true.
That's also true. First ever is crazy.
Yeah. Not that crazy.
They only made the playoffs like 13 times. I thought it was crazy.
Okay. Numbers.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? 20. Have you? No, have you? Hank, have you ever gotten this? Three.
I have not. Have you? Can I guess my number? Why are you asking me questions? I asked you after you get your number.
Why would you do that? No, you asked me before. I just asked you after.
Hank, have you ever gotten this? No. Okay.
Have you? 17. I haven't gotten my number yet.
17, 3. 18.
18. 29.
69. I don't like what you're doing, Memes.
Memes, you've never gotten any of the lottery ball machine numbers. I'm going to guess 27.
I can see three right there. No.
Yeah. What just went? 7 to 72? Oh, 7 to 2, Max.
That's why you did it. No, that wasn't why I did it, but i have picked 7 to 2 for every time you've asked me in baseball all right must win 27 is my number this is must win yes i think powering up feeling a really fly around i just want to watch it for a second you have to look away when you hit the button, though.
I will. But look at this.
Wait. How do I change it to the other ones? I don't know.
We'll figure that part out. All right.
31. 31.
So these are all being documented now

Right Jake?

Yeah I'm getting the admin to pardonmyballs.com

Where you can track it live

Okay

Love it

Love you guys I name your hearts. Yeah.
Pardon my kid. Yeah, pardon my kid.

Yeah, pardon my kid.

Yeah, pardon my kid.

Yeah, pardon my kid.

Yeah, pardon my kid.

Yeah, pardon my kid. mighty, yeah, for the mighty, yeah, for the mighty.