CFB With Andy Staples, 1 Question With A Fullback Texans Andrew Beck, Lighthouse Presentation And More

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take,

Speaker 1 we have our good friend Andy Staples in studio talking college football. Great time with him.
We talk about the whole landscape, everything that's going on.

Speaker 1 It's been an awesome, awesome season, and we're only one month into it. So, we have Andy on in studio.

Speaker 1 We also have Andrew Beck, the fullback of the Houston Texans, who ran back a kick for a touchdown. Heaviest player to run back a kick for a touchdown in 50 years.

Speaker 1 One question with the fullback news segment:

Speaker 1 We are going to talk Monday Night Football. We're going to do the Lighthouse finale for now.
I want to leave that open, but Hank has brought a PowerPoint slide.

Speaker 1 We have Jimbo's slides. We have Jimbos.
We have hot seat chill thrown.

Speaker 6 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't play all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elene, Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elene Track Avenue. It's part of my take.
There's another part to sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, September 27th, and

Speaker 1 people are mad about Jalen Hurts and the tush push.

Speaker 2 Mad about that tush push. Very upset.
They want it banned.

Speaker 2 The haters want it banned. Listen, as a Commanders fan, has to play the Eagles twice every year.

Speaker 1 You got to get tush-pushed a lot.

Speaker 2 I love the tush-push. I do too.
I really do. I think if you don't like it, then stop it.
Figure out a way to stop it.

Speaker 2 Until then, if you don't like it, you can either try to figure out how to make teams stop doing it to you or do it yourself. But it turns out you don't have a quarterback that can squat a semi-truck.

Speaker 2 Right. So, and you don't have the best offensive line in football, so it's harder.

Speaker 1 And by the way, the Eagles dominated the Bucks. That was kind of a comeback to reality for the Bucks game that you saw.
Like, hey, the Eagles, yeah, they are one of the best teams in the league.

Speaker 1 They went down. They took care of business.
I completely agree with you, PFT. The tush push does not bother me in the slightest.
You know what a good way to not have the tush push in your face?

Speaker 1 Don't let the Eagles get to the one-yard line. You can stop them on the first two downs.

Speaker 1 Also, if you watch it, I really think that if they ban this play, I think the Eagles will still do it and it will go from like 99% success to like 97%.

Speaker 2 What are you going to legislate into it? You're going to say you can't push your quarterback from behind? Okay, well, Jalen Hurts will still run a quarterback sneak and be awesome at it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like they don't, even in that touchdown play, he wasn't pushed.
Yeah. They push him for maybe a second effort, but again, 90% of the time, he's getting those yards himself.

Speaker 1 Get a Jalen Hurts, get an offensive line, or I actually think that defenses should start throwing players over the line. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like holding them by their legs and their arms, and just as the snap count goes, you just basically toss a player at Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 2 We talked about doing that with Darren Sprolls, like throwing your running back over the line of scrimmage. So that could work.
I actually have a way that I think might work.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm stupid. I got a couple ways.

Speaker 2 Maybe I'm an idiot.

Speaker 2 The only way I can see the defense being able to really counter, it's kind of like in soccer when you have a penalty shot and the goalie has to guess which side it's going to.

Speaker 2 You you generally know what gap Jalen Hurts is trying to get to. It's usually just right over the guard on the left side, maybe in between the guard and the tackle.
They're big boys.

Speaker 2 They can just submarine you and take you out.

Speaker 2 Have a normal defensive line, and then have like three linebackers stacked up in an eye. And then as the ball is hiked, all three of your guys, one right after the other, hits the same hole.

Speaker 2 You guess the hole that he's going to go to. You got three guys going through the hole at the same time.
I think that has as good a shot as any is working. I like that.

Speaker 1 The other one, maybe a little more outside the box. You should just get your biggest guys,

Speaker 1 same philosophy, figure out which hole they're going to go to, and have them lay on top of each other, four defensive linemen laying on top of each other, and then have all the linebackers push that back into the Eagles.

Speaker 2 Just push a mound of mounds of dudes.

Speaker 1 Just push a stack of dudes back at the Eagles.

Speaker 2 I've been saying they should do that hockey. Yeah.
With like 30 seconds left. Get all your players laying on top of each other in the mouth of the goal.

Speaker 2 You can't score there's probably a rule against that um yeah there's not really there are no real other good ways to counteract it it's troy palomalo or lavar arrington yeah you jump you need to jump over the line of scrimmage and time the snap perfectly oh maybe do the uh the bellichek maybe have a gunner yeah come in from the side try to time it right and then and then run directly at him but yeah people are talking about it being a rugby scrum first of all i'd like to clarify it's not a scrum it might look like a scrum it's a mall it's rugby mall that's when one guy gets the ball everybody kind of binds onto him and pushes that guy through it's a mall and they the eagles apparently brought in a uh a scottish rugby player to try to figure out a way to stop it like get one step ahead of it see what offenses could do was it the eagles that did that max some team did that to try to figure out how to stop the tush push yeah i don't know i don't i don't think it was the eagles yeah so some team brought in a scottish guy and he was like you can't stop it It's organized mass.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 2 And as long as their mass is more organized, which they will be, because they know the snap count, they know the play, then there's no way to stop it for zero yards. I think, you know what?

Speaker 2 It was the Eagles. Kelsey said that on his podcast with his little co-host.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I really do think, though, this is just how the NFL works. There's innovation, then there's a counteraction to it.
Like, someone will try to be able to figure out how to stop it.

Speaker 1 The people who are like, this is bullshit. This isn't football.
First of all, I think it is football. Getting one yard.
Yeah. Manned football is football.

Speaker 1 And I'm not too worried about it because you see, okay, the Eagles played on Monday Monday night football. They're tush-pushing all over the place.

Speaker 1 Do you know what the best offense right now in football is? It's a team that plays with everyone outwide in the Miami Dolphins. So there's two ways to skin a cat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The way the NFL works is people find innovation. They find a play that works.

Speaker 1 They're going to spam it till it doesn't work. And I don't think we should be changing rules against it.

Speaker 2 I would love to see that matchup, though. The Dolphins against the Eagles.
Two distinct styles of offense. It's coming.
It's coming.

Speaker 1 Souping. Soupy?

Speaker 2 You think it's Soupy, Max?

Speaker 4 I think it's in like three weeks, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's coming off.

Speaker 8 Sunday, October 22nd, Sunday night football.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to see that.

Speaker 1 I wish the Eagles would just, yeah, it would be great if the Dolphins just played with no down linemen and the Eagles only tush-pushed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they could do it. They could go the length of the field.
Where it gets interesting, too, is on third down for the Eagles. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because they know if it's third and six, they have to get four yards. Right.
And then they'll run the tush-push. So they can run the ball when it's third and six, third and five.

Speaker 2 Most teams are passing that situation. It makes everything different.
And Max, like, I think it's a fun play to watch. I know you like it because it's like, it's man football, organized mass.

Speaker 2 It's just cool. It's a cool play.

Speaker 1 It's also not new. Tom Brady's was when Tom Brady would do that play, it was like 100% successful.
That was my point about Justin Herbert in the Brandon Staley fourth-down call. Just do that play.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, it will work for everyone.

Speaker 1 Maybe not Kyler Murray, but everyone. No, actually, Kyler Murray probably works.
He's so small.

Speaker 2 Maybe the defense gets like a really tiny guy that runs underneath people's legs. Yeah.
And right into right into Jalen Hurts' knee.

Speaker 1 So, Max, how are we feeling about the Eagles overall?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, that was a boring game. That was just a take-care business game.
Red Zone looked bad, but

Speaker 4 Hurts still doesn't look exactly like I want Hurts to look, but the run game is amazing.

Speaker 1 The defense is amazing, and Jalen Carter is an absolute beast. Jalen Carter is so good.
It's very good.

Speaker 2 It's so fucked up that the Eagles got Jalen Carter. And on draft night, well, it was the most

Speaker 1 people are starting to blame the Bears for that.

Speaker 4 I mean, I said that after week.

Speaker 1 I said that after the week, he would not be playing right now for the Bears. They're so dysfunctional.

Speaker 4 It would be worse than what it is now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he probably wouldn't be on the roster. He probably would have quit football.
He'd been like, I'm not around. I played at Georgia.

Speaker 2 This isn't a real football team. It's just disgusting that the Eagles got their mitts on him.
Everybody knew it was going to happen. And then when it happened, we're like, how did this happen?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. We knew.

Speaker 2 The plan was always for them to get quarter. Yeah.
It's not fair.

Speaker 1 It's the best. I know people are doing the

Speaker 1 retroactive draft takes. I saw the one today that

Speaker 1 the Lions letting go, or did they trade DeAndre Swift? Do they let him go?

Speaker 4 They traded him for like a third or a fourth or something.

Speaker 1 Right. And so people were basically saying, imagine Jalen Carter on this Lions defense.
Like, that is what they need, someone like that. And yeah, the Eagles just have an embarrassment of riches.

Speaker 1 Do you, Max, do you want to say anything publicly about the fact that you were watching the game on stream and our co-worker Stephen Chase said that he wants Jalen Hurts hurt.

Speaker 1 He wants to see him get hurt. And you didn't bitch slap him.
Not very Philly-like of you.

Speaker 4 I should have slapped him. It was absolutely disrespectful to say about my guys.
I know what you're going to say.

Speaker 4 I'm just going to say it first. What? I'm going to do the eight-mile.
I know what I said about Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you did say you wanted Patrick Mahomes to tear his ACL.

Speaker 4 That was in the moment. I didn't want Patrick Mahomes to be hurt long term, but I wanted to

Speaker 4 play. That's not true.
Not true. I didn't want him to play the second half of that game.

Speaker 2 You just said that. You said, I hope he tears his ACL.

Speaker 1 I never said that. Yeah, you just said it.
Never said that.

Speaker 1 You just said it like five seconds ago. What? You just said that.
Am I going insane? No, he said, I did say I wanted Patrick Mahomes to tear his ACL.

Speaker 4 I didn't say tears ACL. I said I wanted him to get hurt.
You just said that. You said that.
I don't think I said tears.

Speaker 8 You might have slipped, but you said it.

Speaker 2 What is going on?

Speaker 1 Did I say ACL? I don't think I said ACL.

Speaker 4 I said ACL.

Speaker 1 He didn't even hurt his ACL.

Speaker 2 Oh, Big Cat said ACL. I said ACL.

Speaker 1 So did Max. Oh, Max.
Mahomes hurt his ankle. But you wanted him to tear his ACL.
Yeah, you wanted him. You were hurt.

Speaker 4 I don't think I ever said that. Okay.

Speaker 4 Well, this is gaslighting. This is gaslighting.

Speaker 2 Max, what about the play calling on that first drive? You think that was Nick Siriani being like, everyone's talked about A.J. Brown.
He was yelling at people on the sidelines last week.

Speaker 2 Let's force feed the ball to A.J. Brown.

Speaker 4 I mean, he absolutely ate on the first.

Speaker 4 A.J. Brown is a good player.
You get the ball in the hands of the good player. I don't care what happened last week.
Like, people who are like, oh, yeah, you're just trying to force A.J. Brown.

Speaker 1 Yes, you have A.J.

Speaker 4 Brown on your team. You want A.J.
Brown to have the ball.

Speaker 2 Much like 8 Mile, I'm just going to get ahead of it and say, congrats, Max, on beating the Commanders by at least 25 points this weekend. No, I mean, our offensive line can't block shit.

Speaker 2 I think Sam Howell is getting pressured 79% of the time on his drop backs. With that defensive line, you guys, oh, man.
30 points minimum. Don't do that.
Maybe 40. Congrats on the blowout.

Speaker 1 All right. So other game, Joe Burrow's back.
The Bengals are back.

Speaker 1 Kind of. Didn't look great, but he did say afterwards, he's like, I know what was at risk for my injury, but I also know it was at risk to start 0-3.
And that was something I couldn't let happen.

Speaker 1 So yeah, the Bengals, that was a big, that was a big win for the Bengals because you need Joe Burrow to be healthy, but you also got to win games.

Speaker 1 Like 0-3 in that division would have been a tough, tough uphill battle.

Speaker 1 And I love the all-whites. It's a big hole.

Speaker 2 All-whites were great. Joe didn't look like himself, though.
He was like all over the map, not accurate. He's thinking about it.
Have you seen the side-by-side of his injured leg and his healthy leg?

Speaker 2 Yeah. His injured leg is like Kate Moss thin.
It's like a bone. It's very injured.

Speaker 1 But he did say something after the game that I thought, you know,

Speaker 1 he doesn't look like Joe Burrow yet. But he said that his defense was balling out.
The Bengals defense looked like the old Bengals defense.

Speaker 1 And that's the important part because he said part of the Bengals defense playing the way they are, I can take less risks.

Speaker 1 I can know that, you know, I can throw the ball away and put the ball where it can't be, you know, picked off.

Speaker 1 And you saw a lot of that last night, where some of the balls are going out of bounds, where he's like, I'm not going to risk this with our defense balling the way they are. Yes.
And they were.

Speaker 7 Sam Hubbard played a hell of a game. They were great.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jamar Chase looked good, too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Get the ball to Jamar Chase. Find Jamar Chase anywhere he is.
Get him the ball downfield. The offense will look a lot better if you can do it.

Speaker 1 He wanted the ball more. Maybe a Diva?

Speaker 2 Diva, yeah. Jamar on D.
Va watch for sure.

Speaker 1 I think we just projected that to the point where now we're just seeing maybe it's confirmation bias that we're seeing receivers like say, I want the ball more. A.J.
Brown, another one.

Speaker 2 Well, if you're a receiver, you probably always want the ball.

Speaker 1 Again, D.Va is not a bad thing. We want more D.Va receivers.
It makes the league fun. And if you're that good, you should be a little bit of a diva.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and they brought Chad Johnson back, the ultimate diva receiver. Yeah.
Brought him back for this game, fresh off ringing the bell at the lighthouse last weekend.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's doing the tours.

Speaker 2 He's making the tour, yeah.

Speaker 1 He never rung the bell. He just made that up.

Speaker 2 He said he was going to ring the bell. Sounds like you guys pulled the carpet out from under him.

Speaker 1 No, it's legends only. Legends only.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, that is a segue.

Speaker 1 PFT, you want to do a quick ad and then we'll get into the Lighthouse finale?

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Speaker 1 Lighthouse. Finale, for now.
I don't want to ever put a cap on. I mean, it sounds like you've been putting caps on it left and right.
Oh, it sounds like you're the one that's capping about Wednesday.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, saying this. No, you did that because it was a Monday.
We were doing all of our games.

Speaker 2 Hey, if there's one person who's capping about the Lighthouse, it's you.

Speaker 1 It's you. So who would like to go first? I think you got to go first, Hank.
PFT, do you have any? I mean, what is PFT?

Speaker 2 I mean, I have truth on my side. I wield the mighty sword of justice and truth.

Speaker 1 For anyone who's listening to the first episode of Pardon My Take, welcome to the premiere lighthouse podcast in America.

Speaker 1 Well, we're truth seekers, me personally. Can you set the stage for the new lighthouse or should I set the stage for the first time? I'll set the stage.

Speaker 1 The Patriots built the largest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

Speaker 1 That's actually

Speaker 1 not true.

Speaker 1 It was discussed, promoted. What do you mean largest? TFT

Speaker 1 commentator

Speaker 1 came out of the woodwork and a in pure jealousy.

Speaker 2 You didn't even give the full story about why they built it.

Speaker 1 You said that the lighthouse, well, they had a lighthouse there, then they built the bigger Jumbotron that covered the old lighthouse, so they had to build a bigger lighthouse and said, fuck it, let's make the biggest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

Speaker 1 Astronomy. No big deal.

Speaker 1 And then PFT has come out of the woodwork. He's contacting potentially fake military members

Speaker 1 to get facts disproving the fact that it's a real lighthouse.

Speaker 2 His name is Commander Kroll, and he is a commander in the United States Coast Guard. And you know what?

Speaker 2 I'm sick of people forgetting about the Coast Guard. When you ask them, like, when you say, thank you for your service, when you say, okay, what's your favorite branch of the military?

Speaker 2 People always talk about the Navy. They talk about the Air Force.
They talk about the Army. No one ever mentions the United States Coast Guard.
They're the real heroes, Hank.

Speaker 2 You ever seen the orange helicopter rescuing somebody from a sea? Yeah. That's the Coast Guard, my friend.

Speaker 1 I love the Coast Guard. I grew up on the water.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Hank, without further ado, by the way, if you're watching on the YouTube, please subscribe

Speaker 1 because because we're trying to get 500,000 and we want to do that so that we can release the max 5k tape. Yep.
All right, here we go. Lighthouse.
Shout out to Ben Domek.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you say his last name.

Speaker 2 Who's the one who's a fan of the

Speaker 1 person?

Speaker 1 He's my on-field reporter.

Speaker 1 Like we said last week, you talked about the mountains and the rivers, and I needed to find someone that could, you know. Verify some of these facts for me on the ground.

Speaker 1 Wait, so someone did the work for you? Yes. No.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm not like Jake. I'm not.
No, he doesn't work for Barcelona. I'm not like...
Where does he work?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 What do you mean you don't know? What's his area of expertise?

Speaker 1 He just helped me. He helped me.
I had to get assistance. I told you I couldn't go to New England and verify these facts, so I had to have someone help.

Speaker 1 Where did you meet him? I'm not like Jake. I'm not like Jake.
I actually give people credit for the reports they helped me on.

Speaker 2 Where did you meet this guy?

Speaker 1 Can we just get into the report? Let's start.

Speaker 1 Is this editor-at-large the spectator?

Speaker 8 No, it's a different spelling. Oh.

Speaker 8 Is it just an AWO, like slitting your DMs and helped you?

Speaker 1 No, don't worry about it. This guy who has 200,000 followers, I think.
I do not worry about it. I think it's Megan McCain.
That's Megan McCain's husband.

Speaker 1 Did you get Megan McCain's husband to come in?

Speaker 2 Are you getting facts from Megan McCain?

Speaker 1 No, it's a different spelling. Yeah,

Speaker 1 oh, Dominic. Yeah.
I was going to say, you brought in a political operative to take us down.

Speaker 2 Stick to sports, Hank.

Speaker 1 You guys are sticking to sports. I'm just trying to get away from that.
I know I read the name wrong. So, all right.
You know what? Flag. But the contest hasn't started.

Speaker 1 So that actually doesn't count. There's no contest.
First, we'll go into the history. The earliest known lighthouses was was built in Egypt over 2,000 years ago.

Speaker 1 Brad Pitt is an archaeologist.

Speaker 1 He found the remains of more than 30 lighthouses built by ancient Romans.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but he was in the movie Troy.

Speaker 1 Basically, a Romania.

Speaker 2 Yeah, which was about Greece, not Egypt or Rome.

Speaker 1 Next slide. Wait, wait.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Factor fiction.

Speaker 1 This is the fact or fiction section of the

Speaker 1 presentation. Factor fiction.
This is for Big Cat and PFT. Okay.
PFT said these these exact words on Friday.

Speaker 1 For a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation, it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway. I'm going to say fact.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that sounds like something I would say. Now, let me pull up the exact words.

Speaker 8 But do you pause and put a comma after navigation?

Speaker 1 Next slide.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 Go back to that, Hank.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, aid to navigate. I'm just pulling this up right now.
I want to make sure that...

Speaker 2 By definition, federal aids to navigation are any marine aids installed and maintained by the United States Coast Guard.

Speaker 2 To answer your question, yes, the fact sheet that I sent is current for a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation. Comma, it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway.

Speaker 1 Next slide.

Speaker 1 Introducing my next example, my next, what do you call it? Evidence?

Speaker 1 Exhibit. Exhibit.
Exhibit. Thank you.
Exhibits A. Experts.
Evidence A. Exhibit A.

Speaker 1 You like lighthouses?

Speaker 2 I'm going to build you an entire podcast of a lighthouse. I'm exhibit.

Speaker 1 The Neponset River. Neponset River is a river in eastern Massachusetts in the United States.
Its headwaters are at the Neponset River Reservoir in Foxborough, near Gillette Stadium. Wait, how near?

Speaker 1 Next slide. What do you mean, headwaters?

Speaker 2 Yeah, headwaters literally means come.

Speaker 1 Next slide. The start of it?

Speaker 1 The Neponset River is federally funded. This is a Neponzet River in Milton, Massachusetts.
This was a fun fact, just right down the street from our old office in Milton.

Speaker 1 You used to walk by it every day to go get coffee. Okay.

Speaker 1 During the construction of Gillette Stadium, the river was relocated to the edge of the property adjacent to the Freemingham Secondary and Daylit.

Speaker 1 You did not write any of this. Yes, I did.

Speaker 2 So wait, wait, they moved the river?

Speaker 1 So that is Gillette Stadium. Actually, go to the next slide.
How do you move a river? Wait, wait, wait, go back.

Speaker 2 You just said they relocated the river.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 How do you move a river?

Speaker 1 Ever heard of dams?

Speaker 2 That plugs up a river.

Speaker 1 And it moves it. It moves the stream.
Okay. It's the same technology.
I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 He's starting to cook. Next slide.

Speaker 1 That is Gillette Stadium, and that is the Neponset River. A federally funded water.

Speaker 2 That's the head of the Neponset River.

Speaker 1 Allegedly. Wait, go back a couple slides, memes.
It's the head of it.

Speaker 2 Go back one more, memes?

Speaker 1 Two more.

Speaker 1 No, go back. A lighthouse to be considered a federal.
It must be clearly visible from a federal waterway. Continue.

Speaker 1 Last slide.

Speaker 1 That is the lighthouse. And in the distance, not far away at all, is the Neponset and River, a federally funded waterway.

Speaker 2 Okay, so Hank, a couple things. In conclusion, one, is this or is this not a view from the lighthouse above, it looks like about three times as high as the lighthouse is of the river.

Speaker 1 I do not, that's not a selfie stick.

Speaker 2 I am not convinced that you can see that waterway from the top of the lighthouse. I would like to see evidence about it.
I would also like to see evidence you can see the lighthouse.

Speaker 2 from the waterway. It looks like there's trees there.
The picture that you've shared right now, Hank, is fucked up. That's twice as tall as that stupid fake lighthouse we need to see a picture from

Speaker 1 the head of the naponza river to the lighthouse hank hank included a picture taken from the good year blimp also this is the reverse angle that could be someone that could be someone selfie stick hank you need someone sitting in a boat that's what i'm saying in the river because there's a tree line there

Speaker 1 I mean, again, you didn't give me enough time. You really kind of tried to turn this court case around quickly.
You tried to do it on Monday.

Speaker 1 Well, I don't have time to go to Massachusetts, but when I do, or if I can get Ben Ben or someone else to help me out, I will prove that you can clearly see the lighthouse from a federally funded waterway, therefore making it a lighthouse officially.

Speaker 1 All right. Is this...
Was that it? Okay. So, okay.

Speaker 2 Wait, so now I get to respond. Do you?

Speaker 1 Wait, also, I have a question. The lighthouse, it looks like it's just the top is lit, but it doesn't actually have like the light that you shine out.

Speaker 2 There's no lights that go out. No.
In fact, they keep it dark almost all the time, which is a safety hazard.

Speaker 2 For birds, too. Birds probably fly into that thing all the time.

Speaker 1 Wait, but what if you're on a boat at the head of the Deposit River, a federally funded waterway, and the lighthouse isn't on?

Speaker 2 If there's a shipwreck, then

Speaker 2 that goes back to the New England Patriots.

Speaker 1 We need to go wreck a ship. We should.
We got to go wreck a ship and be like, we didn't know the land was a mile away.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'd like to rebut a couple points made by Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 7 Henry,

Speaker 2 what is your evidence that the Neponsit River is federally funded?

Speaker 1 I have the website.

Speaker 2 Okay, tell me what federally funded means.

Speaker 2 I want to know more details about that.

Speaker 1 Joe Biden sends a cash app transaction every month to

Speaker 1 different rivers across the country. It says it right there, though.
It does say, go back one. Neponset River is federally funded.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's Hank's evidence. That looks like facts.

Speaker 1 Neponset River.com. Okay.
Oh, it's not Goon.gov.

Speaker 2 Interesting. Huh.
Interesting, Hank.

Speaker 1 Wow,

Speaker 2 you really proved my point very succinctly.

Speaker 1 Is everything that's federally funded?gov? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 It just needs

Speaker 1 a federal waterway.

Speaker 1 That's all it needs. All right, so.

Speaker 2 Well, no, there's a couple things. I'm just scratching the surface here.
By definition,

Speaker 2 federal aids to navigation are any marine aids installed and maintained by the U.S. Coast Guard.
Did the U.S. Coast Guard install or do they maintain the fake lighthouse at Gillette Stadium?

Speaker 1 Can we go to the next slide?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're not answering.

Speaker 1 For a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation, it's a very important thing. We're in the currently visible from a federal wedding.

Speaker 1 I do not know the exact details of the construction of the

Speaker 1 Gillette Stadium lighthouse.

Speaker 2 It says it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway.

Speaker 1 I remain unconvinced.

Speaker 2 I remain unconvinced that it's clearly visible from a federal waterway. And I looked up which waters...

Speaker 1 What is the last slide? Hey, Hank, wait.

Speaker 2 I looked up which waters are federally controlled. Federally controlled waters are waters in which vessels must observe federal requirements.

Speaker 2 Do you know what the federal requirements that vessels have to observe when they're on the Neponset River are?

Speaker 7 Are there any?

Speaker 2 If you're boating, can you take a boat onto the street?

Speaker 1 That's the same as all the other federally.

Speaker 2 No, can you take a boat onto the Neponset River without observing federal mandates?

Speaker 1 No, absolutely not. You don't know that.
That's number one. I do.

Speaker 2 The waters include either the coastal waters, the Great Lakes.

Speaker 2 territorial seas, or bodies of water connected directly to one of the above up to a point where the body of water is less than two miles wide. So what that means is if it's connected to the ocean,

Speaker 2 it still would be a federal body of water until the point where the river is more narrow than two miles wide. I don't think that's I'm looking at that right now.

Speaker 2 That doesn't look like it's two miles wide.

Speaker 1 It's easily two miles wide. No,

Speaker 2 no, that doesn't look like two miles wide to me, Hank.

Speaker 1 What's the that distance right there? Do we have it? That's a mile and a half. Okay, well, then it's definitely not two miles wide.
Yeah, it is. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 No, that's a mile and a half per little spoke. No, it's not.
No, no, he's making that up. So, now, wait, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, because he's got the stadium on the map, too.

Speaker 2 Are you saying Gillette Stadium is three miles long?

Speaker 1 Five, six, seven, eight. It's a big ass stadium.
So, that means that what you're saying right now, that's 15 miles away from not even the lighthouse? Yeah, maybe it's two. I forget.

Speaker 1 It might be that's why they had to make it the biggest lighthouse in the continental U.S. too far away if you're saying that's one and a half miles each.
Maybe it's half a mile. I forget.

Speaker 2 If it's a half mile away, then that would mean that Gillette stayed, that the football field in New England was a mile and a half long.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't know how big tracks are. No.

Speaker 1 Nope. No.
Some miles. I think.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I'm more of an impartial observer here. I think the only way we can conclude this is we need someone sitting in a boat at the head of the Neponset River taking a video with that day's newspaper.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 prove that the lighthouse is helping them navigate and also

Speaker 2 yeah and also measuring the head of the neponset river to see if it's more than two two miles wide.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. I mean, it's a federal.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the good news is the Lighthouse saga is not over.

Speaker 2 Listen,

Speaker 2 I'm keeping an open mind about it. Sounds like you're not.
I am. I just think that you're very wrong.

Speaker 2 I think you're so wrong.

Speaker 1 I just presented every piece of evidence you could pot. Like, if this was a jury, I would win 10.0.

Speaker 2 You know what? It's sad.

Speaker 2 It's sad to me. 10.0, you would win.

Speaker 1 You're partial.

Speaker 2 A 10-person jury.

Speaker 1 How big are juries? 12. 12.
12. 12-0.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing, Hank. It's sad.
It's really sad. I agree.

Speaker 1 It's very, very sad. I agree.
That

Speaker 2 a once-proune New England Patriots fan who expected nothing less than Super Bowls every year has reduced themselves to creating a PowerPoint presentation and hiring out slaves to help you make this court case.

Speaker 2 Did you pay this person in? Instead of talking about football.

Speaker 1 Pro bono.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so slaves. Hank, so

Speaker 1 in the case.

Speaker 2 This is slavery.

Speaker 1 No, it's not. That's how just the law system works.
If you've ever read a book, you would know that.

Speaker 1 This is very similar. Again, being a Proud Patriots fan, this is par for the course.
People try and take us down. They try and make up these rules to flakate PSI, fake reports, fake U.S.

Speaker 1 Coast Guard people just trying to tear down

Speaker 1 the greatest franchise that NFL football has ever seen.

Speaker 2 It's just sad.

Speaker 1 And someone's got to defend it. Someone's got to defend the wall.
I've been there before. I would go to jail for the Lighthouse.
I would go to jail for Tom Brady. I already have.

Speaker 1 You got to go to jail for the Lighthouse. Yeah, I would.
And you got to break in. You would go to jail for the White House.
I would.

Speaker 2 Break in and take a picture of the DePonset River.

Speaker 1 I just might have to. I don't think to break in.
They would welcome me with open arms.

Speaker 2 I don't think you would go to jail for the White House.

Speaker 1 I'm proud of you, Hank. For the White House.
For putting this presentation together, even though you didn't. But I'm proud of you.
I mean, that's... Well, no, the Ben guy did everything.

Speaker 1 Who do you think made this presentation?

Speaker 2 Well, I know that Hank made the slide that has Brad Pitt representing Egypt.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One of the most famous Egyptians out there.

Speaker 1 Why are you coming at me for getting help when PFT and his fucking little commander friend don't get any heat? Interesting. Well, he went out to the field.
Did PFT find those songs?

Speaker 1 Or did that guy do it? It's called journalism, Hank.

Speaker 2 I reached out to the head of the United States Coast Guard to ask for their official comment on the record.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're. Yeah, he did.
And so I can't reach out to an expert in the field?

Speaker 1 What are your qualifications? What's Ben's qualifications? White House expert in the field. Guy who made this

Speaker 1 PowerPoints.

Speaker 1 I made this PowerPoint. You did? All All right, then I take it back.
I'm proud of you. Thank you.

Speaker 2 I thought that the screenshot that you used was... You're mad.
You're mad. That's not a screenshot you would use if this was a neutral PowerPoint.

Speaker 1 Somehow you've wiped the internet clean. I literally tapped into Google PFT short, and

Speaker 1 there wasn't a lot of the good ones.

Speaker 1 I could have probably found, I could have, probably could have worked harder to find some better ones, but you've done a good job. You tried to write a hit piece.
Yeah, he was. I was wiping those out.

Speaker 1 He was. It's a little comedic relief.
It's sad. I mean, I tied in the Neponza River.
I'm close to the Neponza River. I've bathed in it.

Speaker 1 You've bathed in it? Yeah. You've bathed in it.
Yeah. How many times? At least once.
When? Many times. I mean, I've gone swimming.

Speaker 1 Swimming and cleaning and washing off counts as bathing, right? You bring soap?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Neponza Rivers. You brought soap with you into the Neponza River.
No, but like if you have sand on you, well, now we have another thing we have to do. If you have sand on you, you're dirty.

Speaker 1 What qualifies as bathing? Jumping in the water is bathing.

Speaker 2 Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we first start to tell lies.

Speaker 2 That's you right now. All right, so

Speaker 1 we're to be continued again. Also, is this a cartoon illustration?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that looks like it's AI. It doesn't look real.
Hank, did you use

Speaker 1 AI?

Speaker 1 Do you think I know how to use AI? Wait, I don't know. I'm just good question.
Because

Speaker 1 let's look. Let's think about this this way.
This looks like a future stadium.

Speaker 2 NFL games this year played in Gillette Stadium. Hank.

Speaker 1 One was at night.

Speaker 2 One was at night and the other was on a rainy day

Speaker 2 against the Eagles. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That's a sunny day with the stadium, Hank. This is a fake picture.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 This is unless it was a preseason game, but I don't see preseason crowds like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the trees tell you it's late October. Wow.
Oh my God. Hank.
Hank, you used, you basically went and got a pamphlet that basically they created for the lighthouse. Look at this.

Speaker 1 It's literally type in Gillette River. I mean, Gillette Stadium to Ponza River.
You can see it.

Speaker 2 I'm not arguing that you were lazy in choosing your picture that you used a fake picture. You used a fake picture, though.

Speaker 1 It's a rendering.

Speaker 1 A rendering isn't used in a court of law.

Speaker 1 What if I had a rendering of you murdering someone? Could I be like, look at this?

Speaker 2 It's not a fake picture. It's a rendering.

Speaker 1 Hank, that is an.

Speaker 1 I'm now taking it back again.

Speaker 1 Terrible slideshow. This is sad.

Speaker 4 Disgusting.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's no proof that that's not a real picture. Who are they playing? When was this game played? Preseason.
Preseason. And the trees look like that? Yeah, global warming.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Sold out crowds.

Speaker 1 That would mean that the leaves would wait a long time to know they're getting. And you also don't think weather's real.
So how can you say global warming? Global warming.

Speaker 1 You've really boxed yourself in here. That is the fakest picture ever.
Look at the concourse. That's fake.
Those are fake. That's unbelievable.

Speaker 8 Patriots only home preseason games at night.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. My God, that's a full stadium.

Speaker 2 What does the scoreboard say?

Speaker 1 It was Texans 20, Patriots 9. This is like the scene for for that

Speaker 1 means can you zoom in on that could that could have been before the eagles what do you mean the eagles game the eagles game it was raining and maybe not before the game started well the whole

Speaker 1 field the stadiums yeah we actually have a good good fan

Speaker 1 show up early it was tom rady now and also the the leaves have already turned in first week of september yeah we went over this global warming global warming okay god we think

Speaker 2 it's abbreviating the scene you know what this is such a bad powerpoint that i'm gonna pull up a real picture of gillette i'm inclined to give hank the dub just because it's so depressing.

Speaker 1 Because I think they're just missing stuff in this picture, too, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, Hank, you

Speaker 1 that's that's tough. A rendering? The slide that could render anything.

Speaker 2 The slide that said that the Ponset River is federally funded was pretty convincing, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was. That

Speaker 1 is that the old lighthouse or the new one?

Speaker 7 Oh, that's the old one.

Speaker 1 Nope. Ariel.

Speaker 1 Not even close to right.

Speaker 7 Oh, man, Hank.

Speaker 1 Hank, this is tough. Yeah, just click on one of them.
These are the other angles.

Speaker 1 Hmm. Mm, man.
I don't see a river. That's the reverse angle.
Okay, I don't see a lighthouse. That's also the reverse angle.
I don't see a river or a lighthouse. That's the old lighthouse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the lighthouse. That's the old one? It's the lighthouse.

Speaker 1 You know what? I feel bad for the old lighthouse. Yeah.
I actually got shunned. I think the old one was

Speaker 1 the old one. Okay, so this is a real picture.
And you can see it. And you can't see the river.
Yes, you can. Where? No, it says Gillette Stadium rendering oh that's the rendering

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 oh there's the exact picture boom enhancements coming

Speaker 1 oh so yeah that lighthouse isn't even real it hadn't even been that's a fake you literally found the fake picture picture is real they just rendered in a lighthouse i don't understand no the difference no it's not

Speaker 1 yeah it is

Speaker 1 You think they rendered in the...

Speaker 8 Oh, it could have been a New England Revolution game.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 full crowd.

Speaker 1 You can see. Wait, go back to the one that we found that Hank actually took from the internet there.
This one. Click on this.
Click on the article.

Speaker 1 Enhancements coming to listen.

Speaker 2 That's from 2021.

Speaker 1 Wow, Hank. We don't even know if the river's still there.
That's a real picture. They might have moved it

Speaker 1 a little Photoshop in.

Speaker 2 So it's Photoshop. Like it's a picnic.

Speaker 1 It's a real picture.

Speaker 2 No, you just said it's Photoshop.

Speaker 1 Interesting. With an additional...
Yeah.

Speaker 2 With an additional what? It's a tough look. What did they add in?

Speaker 1 The Lighthouse added.

Speaker 2 They added in the Lighthouse.

Speaker 1 This is a tough look, Hank.

Speaker 2 I mean, someone's going to send a clear picture from the lighthouse of the river no they need from the river to the lighthouse here are my terms here are my terms for the new england patriots i will stop going on the lighthouse i will actually love the lighthouse if they stop referring to it as a lighthouse yeah because it's not a lighthouse and the fact that they're putting out press releases saying it's the biggest lighthouse in america it is it which is woe woe be unto the good people of cape hatteras who have an actual lighthouse that they've looked after for hundreds of years you know how many lighthouse tenders have have lived and died in that place?

Speaker 2 You know how much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into maintaining the Cape Hatteras lighthouse?

Speaker 2 And then you just come in one day and your billionaire owner takes a break from banging his 25-year-old girlfriend or massage therapist and he decides he's going to spend money. I'm sorry, I'm heated.

Speaker 2 He decides he's going to throw money at the problem and make a lighthouse taking away all the credit that should belong to the real lighthouses, the real lighthouse keepers that built this fucking country and made it safe for international commerce to exist.

Speaker 2 And meanwhile, you come in and just you turn your nose up at it. And you're like, I'm a Patriot.

Speaker 1 I'm the best.

Speaker 2 They're the best franchise. We can do a better lighthouse.
Fuck off. Admit it's not a real lighthouse.
And then I will back off.

Speaker 1 That was passionate. You don't have that type of passion.
I asked, what do you mean? New England,

Speaker 1 it's not just a one, we're not better than all the other football teams. We're not just one state.
We're not just one city.

Speaker 1 We go to the tallest U.S. lighthouses.
We represent an entire. Oh, look at this.
See, this is bullshit. They're taking valor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, see, that's the official New England Patriots propaganda.

Speaker 1 Sports business journal.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that the Patriots censor. Sports business journal.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. We've got, we got a, I mean, we need what?

Speaker 2 What does that asterisk say right there, Hank?

Speaker 1 Oh, there's an asterisk. It says

Speaker 9 not not functioning.

Speaker 1 We spent all this time and they just tweeted it out.

Speaker 1 All this research.

Speaker 2 But it's still bullshit that it literally says it all.

Speaker 1 Tallest U.S. lighthouses.
That's a fact. Oh, man.
All right. Well, I would like to see a picture from the river.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to see that, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I would.

Speaker 2 And I'm still undecided on buying a lighthouse.

Speaker 1 I am undecided on whether I'll help you buy a lighthouse. That's what I know.
I actually know. I'm not undecided on that.
If you do,

Speaker 1 I will match. Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. So 44 grand each? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's just, we got to know the upkeep.

Speaker 2 That's the only thing. I think there's probably a significant amount of upkeep that goes into a lighthouse.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm excited to see the analytics of skips during this section.

Speaker 1 You got to let us know on Friday. All right.
Well, let's get back to the show. You know what?

Speaker 2 The commanders are about to buy the land, are about to use the land where old RFK Stadium used to be. Lighthouse.
Right next to the Potomac River and the Anacostia River.

Speaker 2 We could actually build a bigger lighthouse.

Speaker 1 We should just buy some land. And yeah, we should buy some land near the Mississippi River

Speaker 1 and build a lighthouse. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And have it be the tallest lighthouse.

Speaker 2 We should do that. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So to be continued again.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 We need the picture. We need the picture.
You've presented some facts. That slide that said Neponset River federally funded waterway was compelling.

Speaker 1 So what does this say? The top of the lighthouse stretches seven flights of steps above the stadium's highest concourse. Even on a gloomy day, Boston's skyline more than 20 miles away

Speaker 1 is visible in the distance. Okay.

Speaker 2 So you can see real buildings from it.

Speaker 1 But can they see back?

Speaker 2 They can't see back. No.

Speaker 1 We got to find out if they can see back. They can't.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get back to the regular scheduled program to be continued on the Lighthouse.
Great work all around.

Speaker 2 That was fascinating stuff. I mean, I ran into an intellectual Titan in Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 1 Oh, pleasure to debate. Ben.

Speaker 2 Pleasure to debate, Hank. It is Megan.

Speaker 1 I just spelled his name wrong. What?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, it was Megan the King's Titan?

Speaker 1 How did you get. I got sources.
Don't worry. He just hit you up and was like, let me help you defeat the Lighthouse.
No, I was just like, who do I know that's a good journalist?

Speaker 1 that's great well shout out ben he did a great work

Speaker 1 i mean that was great work i again i don't think he did any of it he did all of it can we go to slide five please memes

Speaker 1 that's so funny that you didn't spell the person's name correct

Speaker 1 uh slide five says the deposit river is federally funded is that the river they used to jump into when you were hungover uh

Speaker 1 Not that spot, but yeah, that river. All right.

Speaker 1 Hot seat chill thrown.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 1 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 1 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 1 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.
Okay, hot seat. Chill thrown.
Hank. Let me pull up my notes.

Speaker 1 Hot seats. Your notes or someone else's? I mean, they're always my notes.
You know me.

Speaker 1 Not anymore. Hot seat is myself.
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 Not for anything Lighthouse related, but

Speaker 1 I did start

Speaker 1 declaring that I'm going to find a big 10 team this fall,

Speaker 1 going on Saturdays, picking a different team every week.

Speaker 1 Then about three weeks in, well, I had a bachelor party Labor Day weekend, and then I went out the first two Saturdays of the week, uh, fall and realized, remembered that I never used to go out on Saturdays because being hungover Sundays is the worst

Speaker 1 doing this show.

Speaker 1 And so I've kind of just

Speaker 1 put a pause on the Big Ten fandom.

Speaker 2 Why don't you just not drink?

Speaker 1 I was talked about this before. I am not fully capable.
Like, I'm not there yet.

Speaker 2 Just go beers only.

Speaker 1 But beers only, like, once I get a couple beers with me, I want to have like you know 20 beers with me so are you i'm just not i'm not i'm not a uh i'm not i'm not like that type of person i can just go out i can just not go out and not drink but i can't go out

Speaker 1 and then not drink you cannot go out you can not i cannot i have no problem not going out yeah yeah no i understand that if you're in a bar you're gonna drink yes yeah so wait so you are you do one this weekend no

Speaker 1 but then we have surviving bar stool and then that's why it's on pause that's why i'm on the hot seat but i feel like you have to do do one this weekend

Speaker 1 why because you're going to run out of time this basketball season oh okay so this is going to it's on pause i'd say i put myself on the hot seat season i put myself on the hot seat it was a good idea i was here this summer maybe not working as much as i was and i was meeting all these people at all these different big ten schools like oh you know i want to i want to find a big ten team to root for didn't factor in football season yeah you did say you muttered under your breath on sunday you're like i forgot i used to not drink on saturdays yeah the last like four years, like Friday, I was always a big Friday night guy.

Speaker 1 Kind of recover Saturday, and then you're good for Sunday. Going from the bachelor party, which obviously you're you get drunk on a weekday?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's because we work on Sundays, so it's like kind of different. Uh, you got to make your weekdays the weekends.
Um,

Speaker 1 but yeah, just having the three the three consecutive Sundays where I wanted to die was not, was not, was not good. So, I, I, you know, for the betterment of myself.

Speaker 2 Hey, can I make a suggestion? Yes. Why don't you just do noon games and then you go home after the noon games?

Speaker 1 I tried that twice. Or no, I tried that once.
Day drinking is fun. And then it leads to night drinking.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But the best is going out, watching the early games.
True. Watch them at a bar, and then you watch like the first half of the second games.

Speaker 2 You order Uber Eats, and then you just chill out on your couch and you're fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I just, that's definitely an option. I just have kind of, you know, with Surviving Parcel coming up, I was like, I want to get my mind right.
I want to get my mentals on point.

Speaker 1 Two weeks ahead. This is,

Speaker 1 it's great watching Hank battle adulthood because if you remember last week when I complimented him, I was like, You're really grown up.

Speaker 1 And then after we finished taping that show, he texted the group text chat like 20 minutes later. He's like, Does anyone know where my wallet is? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was here. No, I just fell out of my paw.
He got locked out twice. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then lost his wallet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, listen. Yeah, it's a battle.
It's a rivalry right now. You got to get a win.
You're getting a win right now. I'm trying to be an adult.
Yeah. All right.
You're cool. You're chill thrown.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to beat me. No, I can't fool myself.
That's, you know, some people can be like, I understand. Go out for a little bit, go out, don't go out, go out for a couple hours.
And it's like, eh.

Speaker 1 I can't, me, for me, it's like anything over two beers might as well get blacked out. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Cause you're just, you're feeling it the next day no matter what.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, you know, obviously it's the, it's not a hard job, but watching football on stream, like there's nothing better than being hungover and just lying on your couch, kind of half dead, watching football, eating, maybe fall asleep for the late games.

Speaker 1 Like you can't really do that here. So it's like you're just like, just mentally in a torture shamer.
People think that this job is easy. No, it's not.
It's not easy to watch football all day.

Speaker 2 And my cool throne is Jim Tom Sula.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. He's mine, too.
Well, I got him first.

Speaker 1 No, I'm glad. I'm glad.
His European football team, he led his European football team to a 14-0 championship season where they won each game by an average of 27 points.

Speaker 2 What team is that?

Speaker 1 It's a German team.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what team? Do you know? It's the Four Aces. It's the Rhine Fire.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Rhine Fire, yeah. So perfect season.

Speaker 1 Who's on the Four Aces?

Speaker 2 Have you ever had one of those? Perfect season? Nope.

Speaker 1 Who's on the Four Aces?

Speaker 1 Dustin Johnson, Pat Perez, Peter Uline.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Patrick Reed. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2 Good job.

Speaker 1 Good job.

Speaker 2 It was nice to see Jim Tom Sula celebrate. Yes.

Speaker 7 He looked all wet and happy.

Speaker 1 He looked awesome. Yeah.
Okay, PFT, your hot seat chill thrown.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is golfers. Golfers this weekend over in Europe.
Because have you guys seen the Fairway videos that are coming out? The Fairway Rough videos?

Speaker 1 I saw our guy, Dan Raffports. He kind of disputed it.

Speaker 2 He's trying to debunk it, but that was only one hole of the course. And by debunking it, he further went to show, like, oh, if you miss the fairway by five yards, it's not that bad.

Speaker 2 If you miss it by seven yards, then you're basically in a rainforest. Yes.
It looks bad.

Speaker 7 And it's penal.

Speaker 2 I can't wait. It is penal.
It is penal.

Speaker 1 It's penalty. It's a long time penal.

Speaker 2 It's perverted over in Italy, and it is penal. It's at the Marco Simone golf course.
I actually, I went to their Google reviews to read what the feedback from the public has been.

Speaker 2 So this is prior to them hosting the Ryder Cup. I found one one-star review that said,

Speaker 2 I played there two weeks ago. My son was locked in a bathroom for 45 minutes, faulty lock, no cell reception.

Speaker 2 After finally finding him and getting a maintenance guy to open the door, had to get to the first tee. The kid was traumatized.

Speaker 2 The manager didn't care about our experience, even told me afterwards he wasn't even sure there was a problem with the lock. So,

Speaker 2 the bathrooms will take you alive over there. So, if you got bad butt issues and you're playing in the Ryder Cup, Max, just keep it easy.
Just like boiled rice, boiled ground beef like a sick dog.

Speaker 2 Yeah, make sure that your stomach is okay. Yeah.
And then my cool throne was going to be Jim Tom Sula, but instead, I'll make it double golf. Charlie Woods.
Yeah. He just won a tournament.

Speaker 2 Charlie won a tournament. First of many.
Probably not even his first. Probably his like 100th.

Speaker 1 For sure.

Speaker 2 But he's on.

Speaker 2 Right now he's on pace to win 40 majors,

Speaker 2 which is pretty incredible. Is that good?

Speaker 8 And Tiger was on the bag. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was on his back. Walking.
Love that. Walking.

Speaker 1 walking interesting like he's walking again yeah so charlie keep doing what you're doing buddy yeah um all right my hot seat i got a couple uh big ben and jerome bennis did you see this clip link maybe the funniest uh like cell phone of all time big ben and and jerome bennis were talking about i think the 2004 afc championship game and they're like the patriots cheated and they told the story that uh they had a hand signal to run counter to to flip their play.

Speaker 1 And the Patriots had figured out their hand signal because Jerome Bettis is like, we had this hand signal back in the day. We ran all the time.
So not really like cheating, just they knew it.

Speaker 1 They called a timeout. The Patriots called a timeout and then set up to stop the counter.
And the Steelers still ran the same play and stopped it. And so it was,

Speaker 1 it's quite the clip. They basically just kept on telling the story.
saying the Patriots cheated. And the whole time it was Jerome Bettis essentially saying, yeah, we're so dumb.

Speaker 1 We had the same hand signal, and then we ran the same play after a timeout. And we didn't have a chance.
We're so dumb, we don't respect the ring. That's 10 miles away.

Speaker 1 It was so great because Big Ben was like, Yeah, they cheated.

Speaker 2 There was another great clip from that when Big Ben explained how he got the nickname Big Ben.

Speaker 7 Oh.

Speaker 2 Do you guys know? No. You might think it's because he's a big guy, and his name is Ben.
But apparently, when he was in college, they ran a Hail Mary play, and they called the play Big Ben.

Speaker 2 and score a touchdown, so everyone started to call him Big Ben. I don't think it's ever occurred to Big Ben that maybe they named named the play Big Ben

Speaker 2 because they're big quarterback. Yeah, his job was to just go back and throw the ball as far as he could.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, I'm not even a big guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's like, Come on, I don't know how people think like I'm big, but I'm actually not. It's just the name.

Speaker 1 And then my other hot seat is Aaron Rodgers because I think I have rent in his head.

Speaker 1 He mentioned me on the Pat McAfee show when I think they were talking about Jordan Love, like some people online saying that Aaron Rodgers' support of Jordan Love is fake.

Speaker 1 And Aaron Rodgers is like, oh, is that big cat?

Speaker 1 Looks like it's flipped. Was that you? No, it wasn't.
I said, I said it's fucked up that Jordan Love is good.

Speaker 2 But you never said that you think he's.

Speaker 1 No, I said it's fucked up Jordan Love's good because it's not fair.

Speaker 2 Faking the support.

Speaker 1 That was never you. No, no.

Speaker 2 Did you think it?

Speaker 1 No, actually, I didn't. Yeah.
No, I actually didn't. I actually think that might be genuine.
Okay. I think Aaron Rodgers isn't that bad about it.
I'm going to rule that you are in his head.

Speaker 2 In Aaron Rodgers' head, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So nice little flip there. My cool throw

Speaker 1 is Tyree Kale because he came out today and said that when he retires, he wants to just kind of get out of the limelight and enjoy his retirement in peace and also be a porn star. Okay.
I like that.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he wants to be a porn star.

Speaker 2 That's what Miami will do to you. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think he's on a Twitch stream or something. He said this.
So, yeah, tune in. I would watch.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would watch. He's very fast.
To be honest here, I would watch. Yeah.
Everyone here in this room would watch and don't pretend you wouldn't. You'd want to see how he fucks.

Speaker 2 I'd want the hips, must go like a mile a minute. Fast switch muscle.
Like a drill base. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's like a hummingbird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or woodpecker.

Speaker 2 Because he's going to have a bruise on her pubic bone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then my other cool throne is the White Sox who are running $1

Speaker 1 Thursday. I think it's either their last home game or close to it.
$1 to get in.

Speaker 1 There's actually talk about Cubs fans taking over because they're playing the Marlins and the Cubs need the Marlins to lose.

Speaker 1 But a reporter asked about it because it's the middle of the day and it's a one o'clock game, or sorry, $1 game.

Speaker 1 He said, if you can't get off work but want to buy a ticket to Thursday's $1 White Sox game, I just confirmed with the team that you can bring your laptop into the ballpark, but not your laptop bag.

Speaker 1 So you can just carry just rod on your computer in there?

Speaker 2 You know what they should do? If they want people to attend game, they should be like, tonight is official, don't get shot night.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, it's this is,

Speaker 1 I just want to see some people just walking with their laptop because that's an awkward feeling when you don't have a bag for your laptop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you just feel the whole time like, I'm going to drop this.

Speaker 2 As far as end-of-the-year promotions go, I don't know that bring your laptop to the park is as good as Bark at the Park Night.

Speaker 2 I've seen a couple of those in the past. I fucking love Bark at the Park Nights.
They did one, I think the Mets did one the other night. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they did the Simba Cam where people were just holding their dogs up.

Speaker 2 They should do that every night. Dogs should be welcome in stadiums.
Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, your hot seat, Chill Trump. My hot seat is Zach Wilson for two reasons.

Speaker 8 One, the Jets brought in Trevor Simeon.

Speaker 2 Yes. Ride the Simeon.

Speaker 8 And number two, Joe Namath just verbally destroyed Zach Wilson's confidence.

Speaker 1 But on the flip side, Robert Salah came out and he said, what did he say? Oh, yeah, you said he's our guy, right? No, not. I think he even went further and said, like, he's not the reason we lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, he's not the only reason, but he's a pretty big one.

Speaker 1 He's a pretty big reason.

Speaker 8 So Joe Namath said on the Michael Kay show, I don't know why we're trusting this again because I got duped a few weeks ago. Oh man.
But this is from Joe Namath's mouth. I don't believe in him.

Speaker 8 I don't believe he has a future as a good player. And I think they made the wrong choice when they drafted him.

Speaker 1 Ooh, tell us how you really feel. Joe out on a limb.
He's a thrower, not a passer.

Speaker 2 Damn. Come here, Susie.
I want to kiss you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So give me a kiss, Susie.

Speaker 8 Probably not great.

Speaker 1 Probably not great. Not great.

Speaker 2 But the fact that they're bringing in Simeon, like the Jets need to...

Speaker 2 They need to have a reality check, I think, because

Speaker 2 they're trying to

Speaker 2 bring in some competition without making Zach Wilson actually have his feelings hurt. Right.
So they're getting players that are not going to be a threat to him.

Speaker 2 And they're like, here, we're just getting you some support.

Speaker 1 That's all.

Speaker 2 You need to get him an actual replacement.

Speaker 1 Also, Zach Wilson, what you should simply do is point out that I believe you have better stats than Joe Namuth, because people forget that Joe Namuth was actually under 500 as a quarterback and also had significantly more interceptions than touchdowns.

Speaker 1 So, Zach Wilson, this is probably going to be ugly, but let's look it up. Zach Wilson is 17 touchdowns to 22 interceptions.
17 to 22.

Speaker 1 And Joe Namath

Speaker 1 is,

Speaker 1 let's see, Joe Namath is 173 to 220. I feel like Zach Wilson has a better ratio, does not?

Speaker 2 0.77. What was the other one?

Speaker 1 Joe Namath? Yeah. 173 to 220.

Speaker 2 Joe Namath is

Speaker 1 worse. Yeah.
So point it out, Zach,

Speaker 1 by 0.01%.

Speaker 8 Get his ass. Also, this Sunday, we get the official Billy Football bowl because it's Zach Wilson versus Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Actually, wait.
Passing of the torch.

Speaker 7 I'm dumb at math.

Speaker 2 I think Zach Wilson is 0.01%

Speaker 2 worse than Joe Namath. Either way.

Speaker 1 Okay, so throw a touchdown, Zach, and no interceptions, and then you'll be better. Sclap back, yeah.

Speaker 8 My chill throne is rivalries.

Speaker 8 Allegedly, the New Mexico State.

Speaker 2 Oh, one quarterback to the orange squeeze?

Speaker 8 Orlando.

Speaker 1 Orlando squeeze.

Speaker 8 The New Mexico State quarterback allegedly pissed on New Mexico's logo.

Speaker 7 I like that. I like it.
Good. Love it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Literally pissed.

Speaker 2 Pissed on the lobo?

Speaker 1 Logo. Well,

Speaker 1 Lobo, the logo. Oh, whoa.
Lobo the logo.

Speaker 8 Lobo the logo.

Speaker 1 CD just skipped there. Lobo the logo.
So

Speaker 1 Jerry Kill is the New Mexico State head coach. He's one of my favorite characters in golf college football because football almost killed him.

Speaker 2 Was he the guy that ate ice cream on the side?

Speaker 1 No, that was Dilly Bardan. Okay.
Who looks like Jerry Kill. Jerry Kill, football was giving him seizures, so he had to retire because he was like, if I keep coaching football, I'm going to die.

Speaker 1 But now he's back.

Speaker 2 Rivalry gone too far is the caption on that video. I think that's perfect.
I think it's good for college football.

Speaker 1 Also, Jerry Kill was an all-time, I love when teams' mascots look like their head coaches. He did look like a gopher.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think that's the best thing.

Speaker 2 Coach K looks like the Coach K.

Speaker 1 And then the old

Speaker 1 head coach for the Penn State basketball team, who was that? He looked like a nitty line. He had white hair, short guy.

Speaker 1 I love when that happens.

Speaker 1 It's very fun. It's like 101 Dalmatians where you end up looking like your dog.

Speaker 1 Do you remember his name? Max? Oh, no, Villanova Basketball. Oh, that's interesting.
Max gets Villanova basketball in Pennsylvania. Dick Harter? Huh.

Speaker 4 No, Villanova doesn't have a...

Speaker 1 They have a football team.

Speaker 4 Not an FBS team.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Whatever his name was.
Dick Harter? I don't know. Dick Harter? Dick Harter?

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was their coach until...

Speaker 1 Shut your mouth, Jake.

Speaker 1 I don't think that was his name.

Speaker 2 Shut up Blue Chew.

Speaker 1 Jake, how do you not know this? You're the college basketball guy i'm sorry i don't know that one it was like pat song oh pat chambers yeah

Speaker 1 okay yeah i didn't really

Speaker 1 yeah i get click

Speaker 1 yeah pat by

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 hank is on fire today yeah kind of i like it hank hank's got his ever since the trial he's been good yeah he's been good all right let's get to our interview Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Manascalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Here he is, Andy Staples.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, our good friend Andy Staples. You can find him on Three Sports, the Andy Staples show.
You can find it on podcasts, YouTube, everywhere.

Speaker 1 We talk college football on Wednesdays, so it's perfect that you were here in person to talk about college football and everything that's happening. It's been a very exciting year.

Speaker 1 I want to start with this.

Speaker 1 Is this the most aggrieved people have been in college football in terms of coaches, players? We have it everywhere. Brian Day calling out Lou Holtz.
Is

Speaker 1 Colorado getting Oregon releasing a tape where Colorado is being like,

Speaker 1 call the National Guard. We're going to kill some ducks.
All these things. Everyone's got to gripe.
Kirby Smart getting upset because Georgia fans aren't loud enough.

Speaker 2 Jimbo Fisher trying to hit a guy on a fumble return. Yeah, it's like...

Speaker 1 He wasn't trying to hit the guy. I'm disappointed in him.
You got to break down on that. Yeah, but the motivation has been out of control,

Speaker 1 real or perceived. And it feels like everyone's mad at someone.
Even we forgot to mention Michigan, the week one pretending that Jim Harbaugh died and doing the free harbaugh force up.

Speaker 1 What's going on right now? It's great. It is great.
It's pro wrestling. Yes.
That's exactly what it is. I recorded the open for my show tomorrow or tonight, and that is what it is.

Speaker 1 Like this is pro-wrestling. I started watching that wrestler show on Netflix.
Yeah. And Don Jones, our guy.
Yeah, exactly. I was listening to Al Snow talk about, okay,

Speaker 1 you got to put the baby face over. You got to have the heel get heat.
That's exactly what's happening. So Dan Lanning used Deion Sanders to put himself over, and Deion allowed Dan Lanning to get over.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If we're using that terminology, that's exactly.
And Dan Lanning said it yesterday. He's like,

Speaker 1 what Deion's doing is great. He's bringing so many eyeballs to the sport.
Think about this.

Speaker 1 When Oregon dropped that video on Monday night, All we in the college football universe were talking about was Oregon. And you can say, well, see, you're doing that because of Colorado.
Yes, we are.

Speaker 1 But now we're talking about Oregon. Yes.
And we're going to be talking about Oregon. We're like, oh, my God, Oregon plays Washington soon.
That's going to be amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's good for everybody. It is.
It is.

Speaker 1 I did like the Dan Lanning clip. I mentioned it.
Oregon fans got mad, but like his clip where he's like, we're about wins, not clicks. He was doing it in front of ESPN camera.

Speaker 1 And also, again, I think Dan Lanning. Oregon, you have a break.

Speaker 1 Well, not in Times Square. They're in, what are they, Grammar Sea? I can't remember what neighborhoods are.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think in that game, they were wearing special cleats that change colors depending on their mood. Or Oregon's the original all-sizzle-nose steak team.

Speaker 1 They're the ones we always said, well, you know, they just go fast and wear fancy uniforms. They don't actually play football.
But now they've got these.

Speaker 1 giant 300-pound dudes like Josh Connerly who, yeah, oh, yeah, they can play football too.

Speaker 2 Also, wasn't Lanning doing that for clicks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, he's doing it in front of a camera, which I get.

Speaker 1 I liked Dan Lanning a lot, but it was just, it was funny because every coach should be trying to do things for clicks because it gets recruits and it gets your name out there.

Speaker 1 Also, it's the entertainment business. Like, if you aren't Kirby Smart or Nick Sabin, or I guess not Ryan Day does it too now, but if you're not them, be entertaining.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're like Dave Doran at NC State wins like eight, nine games every year. Like, imagine if he was fun.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's true.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So what about Ryan Day? I feel like if we're doing the wrestling analogy, he might have worked himself into a shoot.

Speaker 1 Yes, I guess Lou Holtz. It was a work that became a shoot.

Speaker 2 Lou Holtz is at home being like, look at you all emotional right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, like,

Speaker 1 what a come up for Lou Holtz to be relevant, huh? Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 That's not the guy you target, but Ryan Day needed someone to say that out loud to hang his argument on because you know Ryan Day hears that every day of his life. You've turned Ohio State soft.

Speaker 1 Woody Hayes is rolling over in his grave. Like he hears it every day.
So he wanted a chance to say,

Speaker 1 here, stick that up your ass. Like,

Speaker 1 we needed a yard. We got it against 10 guys.
But we got it. Yes.
Yeah, no. Twice.
They got it twice against 10 guys.

Speaker 2 So with the Lou Holtz thing, I almost hope that Ryan Day continues to go after Lou Holtz. I hope he, I hope after every single game that he has, he's like, hey, Lou Holtz, where are you at?

Speaker 1 Where are you at, Lou?

Speaker 2 I hope Lou starts attending Ohio State games.

Speaker 1 Just sitting up in an effigy. Yeah, sitting up in a booth, like giving him a thumbs down.

Speaker 1 Let's remember the circumstances that Lou Holtz interviewed. That's on the McAfee show.

Speaker 1 I'm blanking on which member of the Toxic Table does that. He was Ty.
Ty. Ty Schmidt.
Does the dead-on Lou Holtz impression? Yes. He's in latex.
He's interviewing Lou Holtz.

Speaker 1 Right. And first of all, like, I've done radio with Lou Holtz before.
Like, he is exactly what you think he'd be.

Speaker 1 This was back when Jacoby Brissette was playing for NC State and he called him Jacoby Brisket multiple times.

Speaker 1 And I just kept giggling and he didn't know why.

Speaker 1 But it is, it's amazing that that's the guy you target. Like, oh, I'm going to get him.
Yeah. I'm going to show him.
Okay. You don't need to show Lou Holtz.

Speaker 1 You need to show James Franklin and Jim Harbaugh. Yeah.
Because that's who you need to worry about.

Speaker 1 And that is the concern because what we saw Notre Dame doing to Ohio State's defense late in the second half were that. The more they ran the ball, the better they got at running the ball.

Speaker 1 The Michigan method. Sounds a lot like Michigan.
And I guarantee you, that's what James Franklin's looking at and going, okay, here's how I'm going to attack them too.

Speaker 1 And oh, by the way, Kyle McCord is awesome when he's got time to throw. When they brought some pressure, that's a problem.
So

Speaker 1 when you're playing against Abdul Carter and Chop Robinson in a few weeks, Penn City, there will be pressure.

Speaker 2 So you were in South Bend, though, and you just mentioned before we started interviewing that you talked to Marcus Freeman. Yes.

Speaker 1 You got 10 minutes to Marcus Freeman.

Speaker 2 Is Marcus

Speaker 2 standing by the fact that he didn't want to cause a penalty for his team, and that's why he didn't run a guy up there?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 2 I'm familiar with the arrow paradox, Andy, but the arrow paradox says that you can divide anything in half enough times and it'll never get to zero.

Speaker 1 He did want to cause a penalty. What he didn't want to cause was a free play.
So I got the full explanation of that.

Speaker 1 So if you don't want to go very in the weeds, you might want to skip 15 seconds for it. But here's what happened.
So

Speaker 1 they did not find out right after that second down play. Because if it's right after the second down play, which is an incomplete pass, you just run somebody on the field.

Speaker 1 They found out as Ohio State State is lined up, ready to go. And so the ball's on the far hash, down in the end zone.
The coach can't go past the 30.

Speaker 1 So he's like, we can't run somebody on because they won't make it across the line of scrimmage in time. They'll snap it.
Free play. And it's a free play.
You just drop the flag and the play goes on.

Speaker 1 So even if you stop them, then you have to stop them again. The only way to do it is to get one of your defensive players to touch an offensive player.
And they had no way because it's too loud.

Speaker 1 So they have now created a signal.

Speaker 1 So the cornerback nearest their sideline from now on, there will be a signal to that guy. If you need it, touch the receiver, get the officials' attention.

Speaker 1 So, my theory is he didn't want to get an 11th guy on there because the 10 guys on defense and the gaping hole where Ohio State scored a winning touchdown covers up for the fact that they called a pass play on second down when they had the ball and didn't let they easily could have had Ohio State.

Speaker 1 Ohio State could have been sitting there with no timeouts, 46 seconds more

Speaker 1 harder.

Speaker 1 And that one play that actually almost got picked off, which was crazy. That coaching decision gets lost in the shuffle because of the 10 guys on the field.

Speaker 1 If we're assigning blame to things, that's way worse

Speaker 1 than the 10 guys on the field. Because I remember

Speaker 1 I'm standing there on the field and I'm looking at the clock and I'm bad at math, but I'm like subtracting 40 seconds from the clock or subtracting a timeout.

Speaker 1 Like, how did you, how do you not just hand that off there?

Speaker 1 It's also, I think that what happens now is we get confused because there is the idea that in football you don't want to play to to uh you know what is it what's the saying you want to play to win not play to not lose right but that's a situation like that's to me more like three minutes left run your offense that was clearly a just do the math and figure out a way to have them have no timeouts and the littlest amount you're also running the ball well right it's yeah it's a loaded box but a screen against a loaded box is the same problem as a handout right it's a loaded box right right and it almost got picked off so that to me me, there is a sliding scale on that.

Speaker 2 Right. Obviously, at the end of a game, victory formation, you're playing to not lose.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 You're not trying to do anything. You're like, okay, we've got to win.
You're right.

Speaker 2 Like, if it's the further away from the end of the game, it is, the more aggressive you can take with yeah, like four minutes left.

Speaker 1 I get it. You don't want to turtle and just run the ball into the line and then punt.

Speaker 1 But when you were in that spot where it's like a minute and a half left, and you can literally just do the math and be like, how can we get them to have no timeouts? Right.

Speaker 1 Because it's going to be a lot harder. And it ended up costing them the game.
They ran 15 plays. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, they had a minute 26 when they got the ball back. It's crazy.
And they would have had one fewer timeout or 40 seconds less than that. So, what is that? That's 46 seconds.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's good math. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 What about Sam Hartman? Pretty boy? Too pretty to play. He's this ball.

Speaker 1 He is. He should have.

Speaker 2 That running play in the first half, if he had just, if he had cut back a little bit, extended the ball.

Speaker 1 He wasn't able to get the ball. He was

Speaker 1 to run. Sam was built to throw.

Speaker 1 Soft.

Speaker 1 No, not soft.

Speaker 1 He was in that slow mesh at wake. That's yeah, no, that one scared them.
The slow mesh scared them.

Speaker 1 Watch Sam Hartman versus, say, a young college quarterback. Like Sam Hartman, there could be a defender three inches from his face.
He's just standing there ready to throw the ball.

Speaker 1 And you see, like, a freshman, they're bailing, they're freaking out. Like, he does not care.
He will stand there and get clobbered and still get the ball away.

Speaker 1 The slow mesh at wake is like the scariest offense. Well, I asked, you just be like, dude, get rid of the ball.
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 I asked Mitch Griffiths, who's their new starting quarterback, like, how do you deal with that? He's like, you just get used to it.

Speaker 1 I'm like, but there's three 300-pound dudes like five inches from your face. He's like, nah, it's fine.
And they would just wait till the very last second.

Speaker 1 So, Notre Dame, let's finish with Notre Dame in this. That felt like it could have been obviously the biggest win for Marcus Freeman.
It also could have been like

Speaker 1 not a passing of the torch, but it does feel Ohio State has been in that upper echelon of programs, Notre Dame right below it, where it's like Notre Dame's very good year in and year out, but they can't beat the top four or five programs in the country.

Speaker 1 And that was their moment to do it. They can still go to the playoff if they run the table.

Speaker 1 What do you think in terms of Notre Dame, your vibe of being around the program, like headed in the right direction?

Speaker 1 Or was that one where it's like, fuck, the same old, same old, like can't beat the big dog? No, they're definitely headed in the right direction. I think getting Sam helps.
in that respect.

Speaker 1 But, I mean, elite offensive line, their freshman running backs are really good.

Speaker 1 And then they have some freshman receivers that can play. Marcus Freeman, since he's gotten there, has upgraded the talent.
They've got to upgrade a little more on the D line.

Speaker 1 I think that's the really important place that they're missing right now where they're pretty good, that they could be really good.

Speaker 1 But I feel like they are deeper and more talented than they ever were in the Brian Kelly era. And it feels like the NIL era and Freeman.

Speaker 1 just make that easier to do than it used to be because they're a transfer destination as well as for the grad transfers. Yeah, yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 guys who have been in college three, four years are smart. You know, and they look at the big picture and they say, oh my God, if I'm a star at Notre Dame, I'm going to make bank.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like you don't want to go there. You don't want to go to Notre Dame to have fun.

Speaker 1 You're like your freshman's software year. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like grad school. You got an instant job.

Speaker 1 Exactly. If you're in Notre Dame.
Yeah. And so, and Sam Hartman obviously changed it because my theory with Notre Dame was they've just never been able to get that elite, elite quarterback.
Right.

Speaker 1 And now they have it. So let's see if they can run the table.
Yeah, I mean, it's going to be, it's fun when Notre Dame's in the mix. So I have another program,

Speaker 1 Alabama. We buried Alabama.
Yep. Unfortunately for us, we didn't look at the schedule because they are going to win the SEC West.

Speaker 1 LSU is going to give them a little challenge. Yeah,

Speaker 1 their two hardest games are Tennessee, bye-week, LSU, both at Tuscaloosa.

Speaker 1 Like, what's going on in Alabama? I went to the game against Texas, and the guys

Speaker 1 I was in their suite, and they were just like, how do we not have a quarterback? This is crazy. What's going on program-wise for Alabama? They didn't have a quarterback.

Speaker 1 The offensive line isn't as good as it usually is.

Speaker 1 That's really it right there, because in a nutshell, and now that they've decided on Jalen Milro as their quarterback, and they're actually building an offense around him, running plays that work for him, I think that's going to help them going forward.

Speaker 1 Because I think what they were doing early in the season is, well, we don't know if it's going to be Milro or Ty Simpson or Tyler Buckner. So we're just going to

Speaker 1 call an offense that would kind of work for all of them. It doesn't work.
And it's clear Simpson and Buckner aren't really the guys.

Speaker 1 So now you use Milro, who is a very athletic guy, very fast, good runner, but he throws a great deep ball. The problem with him is intermediate stuff.
So figure out how to work that best.

Speaker 1 You've got a good defense. And then if the offensive line does get better, your backs are very good.

Speaker 1 And you keep like against Ole Miss, they were not having the greatest success running the ball, but they kept running the ball. And Ole Miss never could

Speaker 1 take advantage of that. So against other teams, they're going to have success running the ball.
And it's going to look a lot like the Alabama of old, where they just, you know, steamrolled you.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't like you don't get completely blown out. You get beat like 28-7.

Speaker 1 But it's going to feel like you were hopeless the entire game.

Speaker 2 You're not going to have the ball at all. Yeah.
So Lane Kiffen might have also worked himself into a shoot. Did you hear what he said about the defense?

Speaker 1 I loved it.

Speaker 2 He said, like, I saw something in the defense. That's not their coordinator calling the plays.
It's somebody else. I can see his fingerprints all over.
He does it every year.

Speaker 1 So we like to call it throwing a lit match in the Alabama football facility. Not a smart idea.
No.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, he said, oh, it looks like Treveris Robinson, who we played against when he was at South Carolina, not Kevin Steele, who we played against when he was at Auburn.

Speaker 1 Nick came back on Monday and he's like, You know, Mississippi State,

Speaker 1 we feel like they're a bigger challenge than the last game we played Because they're aggressive on defense. And it's just like, oh, twist the knife.

Speaker 1 I love that Link even does this every Alabama week where he'll like, he'll talk some shit, but then he'll also be like, Nick Saban's the goat. Yeah.
So he basically walks away a win-win.

Speaker 1 It's either he's talk shitting backing up or he lost to the goat. Yeah, but we know he likes to troll them.
Yeah. But you got to win one.
You got to win one. You got to win one.

Speaker 1 And it's getting, the stat I saw, what is it, one in 18 against teams that eventually won nine games. Yeah.
So you've got to start beating those teams.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't get why it does it. It's almost like he's like, I'm not afraid to punch a hornet's nest again.
Like, it's the dumbest thing ever. It's one thing to say it, back it up.

Speaker 1 And that style isn't really built to beat Alabama. That offense they play,

Speaker 1 you got to be perfect almost to beat Alabama with that. So I saw their fans are like, well, you got to, how do we approach this game differently? You don't because this is who you are.

Speaker 1 But the problem is you're a bad style matchup for Alabama.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Texas.
Let's stay in the SEC.

Speaker 1 Texas.

Speaker 2 We kind of talked ourselves out of Texas a little bit by the transitive property of Alabama having a down game against USF.

Speaker 2 We're like, wait, did we Texas back ourselves after that win against Alabama? But now since it looks like Alabama is good, I think the pendulum for us has swung back. Now Texas is legit again.

Speaker 2 You think they're legit, legit, college football playoff legit?

Speaker 1 I think they're very good. Now,

Speaker 1 they've got to beat Oklahoma, but I look at what they did against Baylor, and I almost am more impressed with that than I am with Alabama because Texas always got up for those games like Alabama.

Speaker 1 It was the games that they're supposed to win that they come out flat, but they kicked the crap out of Baylor. And like this week, they got an undefeated Kansas come in.

Speaker 1 Jalen Daniels looks amazing. But this is a team.
And it kind of started at the end of last year with Kansas where... Texas started playing those games like they meant something.

Speaker 1 And now I don't think they're going to take Kansas lightly. They used to.
Texas used to always over Kansas. They lost to them two years ago.
They lost to them, you know, Charlie Strong's last year.

Speaker 1 So it is possible, but I just think they're going to keep showing up.

Speaker 1 And the difference with Texas this year versus Texas, really since 2009, is there are legitimate NFL players on both sides of the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 1 Tavondre Sweat, Byron Murphy, Alfred Collins on that D line. Those guys are going to be top three round picks in the NFL.

Speaker 1 You know, their left tackle, Kelvin Banks, he's going to be a first first-round pick in 2025. There's legit NFL talent on the rest of the offensive line.

Speaker 1 JT Sanders is tight end, is usually the best skill position player on the field.

Speaker 1 That's not what they've had. They always got great recruits, but they never developed them in anything.
Now they've developed them, and these dudes can play.

Speaker 2 So does a one-loss Texas team, do they make the college football playoff?

Speaker 1 I think so. I think so.
It really depends on what happens everywhere else. What happens to Pac-12, I feel like, is the big question mark.
Listen, the Pac-12 is so deep. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 And a 12-in-1 Pac-12 champ better make the play. Better.
Yeah. Because you know they'll cannibalize them.
Oh, yeah. But it is crazy how good the Pac-12 is.

Speaker 1 It's awesome to see and sucks to see at the same time. No, no.
Because this is it. But Washington is just demolishing everyone they played.
There's so much fun. I'm not sure if I'm doing it on them.

Speaker 1 I did. I did.
It was probably a mistake. But you know what I did? I looked at their schedule and I was like, oh, they don't have to go to Utah.
I was it.

Speaker 1 I picked Oregon to win the league, and I'm sticking by that. Now, I could be proven hilariously wrong when they go to Seattle, but I think that's going to be a great.
It was a great game last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a great game last year. And so Utah is the wild card in that because what happens if Cam Rising comes back?

Speaker 1 Because their defense is good enough to play with anybody, but their offense will not be able to hold up against Oregon or USC or Washington unless Cam Rising comes.

Speaker 1 Kyle Wittingham said after the UCLA game, he said, that's the best my defense ever played. And he's been there a long-ass time with some really good defenses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that's a 7-7 game, if not for a pick-six. Yeah.
So, I mean, it was. They suffocated him.
And that, and that UCLA team can move the ball. Yeah.
So I'm just,

Speaker 1 it really sucks that this is it because this is what they were pointing toward. This is what they've been working toward.
I know. And then, like, I don't think this is going to be as fun.

Speaker 1 With Utah trying to win the Big 12 title and with Washington and Oregon trying to, you know, they'll play each other, but it's, but it's for

Speaker 1 wherever they are within the Big 10, like relative to Ohio State and Penn State. I don't know how much fun that's going to be.

Speaker 1 Counterpoint, the Big Ten's back, because as the standings right now, I think six out of the top nine teams are Big Ten teams for future Big Ten. Oh, teams.
The ones they grabbed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because even UCLA is better than they have been. But the other three that they're grabbing from the Pac-12 are awesome.
And probably we'll say that.

Speaker 1 Obviously, Caleb Williams won't play in the Big Ten, but Lincoln always has a quarterback.

Speaker 1 I trust Dan Lanning to stock the roster at Oregon. Kalen DeBoer, because they're moving to the Big Ten, I don't know that anybody's going to try to poach him from Washington.

Speaker 1 I think now he can be at Washington as long as he wants and not feel like, oh, there's somewhere else out there where I have a better chance to win a national title.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we got to go to a game at Washington, too. It's so fun.
It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 The stadium's beautiful.

Speaker 2 The tailgate scene is actually very underrated.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 You can take the boats in after sailgating. You got the team, the rowing team, like picks you up and rows you to the stadium.

Speaker 2 It's a lot like SEC football football in terms of the tailgate scene. It's just different types of fish.
Well,

Speaker 1 exactly. Salmon and catfish.
Yeah, you're crawfish. Yeah, you're moving away from redfish and

Speaker 1 red snapper and all that. But yeah, no,

Speaker 1 I think Washington is so much fun. And I'm so happy for Michael Pennix Jr.
because this is a guy who had three season-ending injuries in Indiana.

Speaker 1 And you thought, oh, he's never going to be able to really have a good college career. And he's been incredible.
Yeah, he's been insane. Their offense is insane.

Speaker 1 So if you had to predict right now who's coming out of the Pac-12, because it is, all these teams are going to have to play each other. I think USC obviously is a little bit easier because

Speaker 1 they don't have to play the entire whatever it is, north.

Speaker 1 But who do you have coming out of the Pac-12? I've still got Oregon.

Speaker 1 I like them because I like the way they're built on the lines of scrimmage. It started with Cristobal, but then Landing has come in and just improved it.

Speaker 1 They went and got Josh Connerly away from USC as a five-star recruit. It came down to them in Oregon.
He's their left tackle now.

Speaker 1 They go get Jordan Birch out of the transfer portal, former five-star guy who was at South Carolina.

Speaker 1 I like when people have special offensive and defensive linemen. My motto is the people with the best big people always win.

Speaker 1 So I'm sticking with Oregon. Okay, I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Patchwork, I mean, we didn't even mention Washington State is electric. Cam Warden is awesome.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I wasn't even bummed out when, like, I was bummed out that the Badgers lost to Washington State, but I also, it was different than last year. I respected the fuck out of Washington State.

Speaker 1 I knew they were a really good team. I was driving to South Bend on Friday night from here,

Speaker 1 and I almost texted you as Wisconsin's beaten up on Purdue to say, maybe Washington State's just a wagon. They are.
Yeah, like I seriously don't see that as a bad law.

Speaker 1 Like, they are a very, very good team, and Cam Ward is a problem. Like, he's a problem to guard.
Yeah, and Jake Dickert's done a great job there.

Speaker 1 And I appreciate that he keeps putting the screws to everybody. Like, hey, you left us behind, but look at what we do.
Look at how we show up. Look at how we play.
Look at our fan base.

Speaker 1 And I don't know that it has, that it amounts to anything tangible in terms of conference affiliation, but I am enjoying them rubbing everybody's face in it. What are they going to do?

Speaker 1 Are they going to, I mean, the smart move would be keep the Pac-12 branded and just make the Mountain West the Pac-12. That's what I would say.

Speaker 1 That's what I've been saying since all that happened, since you saw Cal and Stanford go to the ACC is, yeah, you keep the Pac-12 name, intellectual property, NCAA tournament money, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 And then you merge with the Mountain West, let the Mountain West people run it, but you call it the Pac-14 or whatever, because the brand's stronger. Right.
And it's their, it is their brand.

Speaker 1 Like they went to court, and the other Pac-12 schools can't do squat. Like they have, basically, they are the board of directors of

Speaker 2 the school that the other schools would be like, no, you can't have this after they leave.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 they were going to be like, we're going to take a little bit of money to help ourselves move into these new conferences.

Speaker 1 Washington State Organization. They're like, no.
That's like Dave and Caller Daddy. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 They should get the merch rights.

Speaker 1 They should.

Speaker 1 What if Dave just played, like, the first game of the Pac-12 season next year is just Dave on a football field?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 the law that I'm hoping for that would be so funny is I saw someone tweeted out, I can't remember who it was, but basically Washington State and Oregon State have two years

Speaker 1 where they could just have a Pac-Two. Yes.
For two years, and no one could do anything.

Speaker 2 So they could win or get an automatic birth?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And like in NCA parlance, you do it based on do you get a bid to the basketball tournament? You actually have to have five teams to get the automatic bid to the basketball tournament.

Speaker 1 So they'd have to do something. But I would love it if they just were the Pac-12.
You got to be the two-pack. Yeah.
You got to be the two-pack extra.

Speaker 1 Like, just have the two-pack hologram as your commissioner. Yeah, just play like five times.
Yes.

Speaker 2 No, just play once.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But in Vegas.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why not? Oh, that'd be so funny.

Speaker 1 Well, put the Pac-12 championship field out in Vegas. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Zaga now is playing in a real conference. Yes.
So congratulations to them.

Speaker 2 All right. So give us your final four because before the season started, you had Colorado in all four spots.

Speaker 1 I did. I did.
I was in on Deion early. No, the one I had in one of my four spots was Clemson, I am ashamed to say.
And then they lost to Duke.

Speaker 1 And they, I mean, they put up a fight against Florida State. But yeah,

Speaker 1 they're going to need to retool their strategy.

Speaker 1 I had a question about

Speaker 1 Clemson.

Speaker 1 At what point does Dabo, like Keon Coleman from Florida State, who lit up lsu who is a transfer from michigan state at what point does dabo watch these guys beat him and he's like hey this transfer portal thing that might actually be an asset i will give you an even better example of that what if keon coleman were on clemson instead of florida state that game who wins the game clemson exactly one player yes and so with dabo i know he doesn't want to do it continuity is something that they use to their benefit for a long time they they had a period of four years where they only lost seven players to attrition.

Speaker 1 So, like getting kicked off the team or just leaving.

Speaker 1 And that's why they were winning so much. But the world has changed.
Like, if you make recruiting mistakes, you can't cover them.

Speaker 1 You have to develop somebody out of that if you're not going to just grab out of the portal. They could still do this where, you know, they have people who leave because they're not playing very much.

Speaker 1 So they have the spots. So

Speaker 1 three, four spots a year. Right.
Imagine if Clemson with all these future NFL players says, hey, want to fill our one gaping hole here? Everybody in the portal is going to want to be there.

Speaker 1 So I don't think he has to change that much. I think it's doable.
It's just not fixable this year.

Speaker 1 It's also insane to me that you wouldn't use the portal specifically for the offensive line because you can go out and get like a 23-year-old

Speaker 1 who's got man strength. A grown-ass man.

Speaker 1 And he's beat a boy most times. Right.

Speaker 1 And it's like, why wouldn't you do that instead of getting a kid who, yeah, you'll project to be a great offensive lineman, but he's probably 40 pounds too light when he comes on campus.

Speaker 1 Like, these are the things that it feels very easy, but Dabo is resistant to change. Yeah, because he worries he's going to mess up the culture and the chemistry of the team.
But I think

Speaker 1 if it's one or two, three guys a year in really key spots, I don't think you're messing anything up. Right.
Because that type of person, and you'll have your choice.

Speaker 1 You can pick someone who's about what you want to do. You want to be about.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what also helps the culture is winning football games.

Speaker 1 That helps too.

Speaker 2 And playing in big football games.

Speaker 2 That will bring the guys together nicely, I think.

Speaker 1 But so so, my, my other three of my four, still, still kicking. Uh, Georgia was one.

Speaker 1 Which we'll see. I mean,

Speaker 1 they're not going to lose until the SEC championship game. I don't think they're going to be challenged.
I, I saw that, you know, I watched that halftime video from the South Carolina game.

Speaker 1 They're down 14 to three, and Carson Beck's just winking at the camera, like, nope, they're not getting beat. So, them,

Speaker 1 uh, I have Penn State coming out of Big Ten. I like that.
I think their defense is out of this world good. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then I

Speaker 1 still,

Speaker 1 now I don't know. I had Oregon, but now I don't know if I should have Texas there.
Yeah. And that's the problem.

Speaker 1 Like, I find it very hard to wrap my brain around that I have become a believer in Texas as quickly because I was a big Texas skeptic for a long, long time.

Speaker 1 But again, going back to my the best big people win theory,

Speaker 1 that's Texas, right? Yeah. It sucks we don't have a 12-team playoff this year.
This is the year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it'd because you have the teams that all will like there will be a two-lost team, probably out of the Pac-12, or even the Big Ten, where you're like, that team could compete for a national.

Speaker 1 And I did, we're going to do this on the show every Monday for the rest of the year where we project what the 12-team playoff would look like.

Speaker 1 And so I had Penn State winning the Big Ten, and I had Michigan and Ohio State both also making it. I had like a Michigan-Alabama first-round matchup in Ann Arbor.
I mean, can you lie?

Speaker 1 I fucking love fake brackets.

Speaker 2 Yes, you could do a fake bracket across any sport, and I will just imagine that game in my head and be like, it's like the high-speed rail map that goes viral.

Speaker 1 It's like looking at it and be like, oh, that'd be sweet. Well, I could get from New York to D.C.
in an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 And you know what's going to happen next year because we've had years like this where it's like there's two great teams and everyone else sucks.

Speaker 1 Next year we'll probably have where it's like, why are we doing a 12-team playoff?

Speaker 1 The 12-team sucks and all that. This is the year.
It's much like the Pac-12. Our timing is off.
My favorite is everybody's just getting pissed at me. Why is Fresno State in there?

Speaker 1 Because somebody has to be in there in the group of five. I would love to see Fresno State play.
I would too. Hey, they've been awesome.

Speaker 2 They shut out Arizona State.

Speaker 1 I know. USC did not.
Yeah. They have been lights out.

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Speaker 1 All right. So, I mean, this has been a great college football season.

Speaker 1 We do want to talk about Colorado. Now, we...

Speaker 1 I wasn't surprised by the Deion hate that's coming. Right.
And it's coming hard and fast right now.

Speaker 1 And he even said he did a little bit of a, to go to college basketball, he did a little bit of a Dan Hurley, like, come get us now because we're never going to be this bad.

Speaker 1 i appreciated that i like that a lot but uh overall like the sentiment you talk to coaches you talk to administrators how does everyone feel about colorado is it a you know rising tides lifts all boats or are people like we kind of hate this guy no they like him now okay they realize they like him there was a lot of kind of side-eyeing of dion throughout the offseason because of the way he handled the roster flip yeah they did not like him kicking people off the team.

Speaker 1 I think they didn't like him kicking people off the team on camera because

Speaker 1 everybody else does that. That's right.

Speaker 2 He said the quiet part out.

Speaker 2 This happens across the sport. Deion was just upfront and very, very blunt, maybe overly blunt about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like making it very clear from his first day there, like, you guys are not going to be here.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing. On Saturday on NBC in prime time, there was an Ohio State Notre Dame game

Speaker 1 that came down to the final play.

Speaker 1 More people watched a dog shit Oregon, Colorado game that was over on the first play. Yep.
More people watched that than the Notre Dame law has to do.

Speaker 1 I was wrong. I got to give Casey credit.
She said she predicted. Yeah, she did.
And I was like, no way. Yeah,

Speaker 1 she was our guest picker on my show last week, and she said that on my show. And I'm like, come on.
Yeah, I had the same reaction. I was like, no fucking way.

Speaker 1 And then the ratings come out, and it's like, how is this possible? Well, and imagine this week. Yeah.
Big noon kickoff. So 10 a.m.
local. I know.

Speaker 1 They're going to be the wake and bake factor in Boulder is going to be incredible. But Caleb Williams against this offense or against this defense.

Speaker 1 And now Shador Sanders should be able to do a little better against USC's defense than he did against Oregon. So like I think for college football, it would be great if USC struggles with Colorado.

Speaker 1 If Colorado gives them a game, that is great for the sport. If USC beats them 55 to 10, then we may not pay much attention to Colorado for the first year.

Speaker 1 Now, I agree with Deion. They will be much better.
Yeah. Because that's one of those things where the casual fan may sort of disappear for a little while, but they're still working.

Speaker 1 And here's the thing about Deion, and this is the part I don't think the haters of Dion get.

Speaker 1 Dion is one of the few people who is that level of a former player, who is willing to do the things you have to do and work the way you have to work to be a good college head coach.

Speaker 1 He's good at talent acquisition. He's good at motivation.
And he's good at organization slash hiring assistance. Do you know how I just described Urban Meyer and Dabo Sweeney?

Speaker 1 I was going to say not Herm Edwards.

Speaker 1 No, but Urban Meyer and Dabo Sweeney, neither of whom were primary play callers at any stretch before they became head coaches and won national titles because they're great at getting good players, great at motivating them, and they're great at hiring assistants.

Speaker 1 Shout out, my guy, Sean Lewis.

Speaker 1 That's exactly Johns Badger, yeah. Exactly right.
And Sean Lewis can turn this into a better head coaching job than he would have gotten as Kent State's head coach. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so, like, I did a story with Sean last year when they were in that stretch. He was Kenn State's head coach, and they had a stretch where they had to play at Washington, at Oklahoma, at Georgia.

Speaker 1 So, they were always beat to hell by the time they got to Mac play.

Speaker 1 And he just, he would, everybody knew he was a good coach, but you could never sell that higher if you're a power five program

Speaker 1 because they were never going to have the right record for it. Right.

Speaker 1 If he's the OC at Colorado and he's masking their deficiencies while also creating an offense that is functional against decent defenses, yeah, everybody notices that. And he goes lightning fast.

Speaker 1 That was his thing at Kent State. What does Colorado have to do to get better next year?

Speaker 2 Bigger people on defense?

Speaker 1 Bigger. It's all the big people.
Yeah, but here.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing: Deion already started that.

Speaker 1 So that Colorado State game, when they got Lil Wayne leading him out of the tunnel, when they got The Rock there, they had like an Alabama D-tackle commit.

Speaker 1 They had, you know, big-time offensive line recruits there.

Speaker 1 And he's telling them, you can play next year. And the difference between

Speaker 1 them and the places those guys normally go, Alabama, Ohio State, LSU, is

Speaker 1 you can't play right away, probably in Alabama, Ohio State, or LSU. You're going to have to work your way into it.

Speaker 1 At Colorado, you can step right in and play, and you may struggle a little bit, but if you're that talented, you're going to be pretty good by the end of the season.

Speaker 1 And I still think Dion, the ace up his sleeve that he has that no one else has, is he was.

Speaker 1 Like, if you watched his career, especially at Florida State and coming out of the draft, he was NIL before NIL. Oh, yeah.
Like he was player first, And, you know, I need to be paid.

Speaker 1 And the cornerback position doesn't get talked about. So he can sit in all these living rooms and be like, my goal is to get your kid to the league and to get him paid.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing I don't think people understand because

Speaker 1 the people who don't like Dion think he's just doing this for attention.

Speaker 1 He could get attention doing anything.

Speaker 1 He wants to be a coach.

Speaker 1 And he wants to be a coach. He started at high school level.
Yeah. It's Jackson State.
Yeah. And it's funny because everybody's like, how come you guys never talk about Prime Prep?

Speaker 1 I'm like, Prime Prep got dissected. Deion shouldn't run a school.

Speaker 1 Like, Deion shouldn't be the president of the University of Colorado. I think we learned that.

Speaker 1 But he can coach the football team there. What do you think about

Speaker 2 members of the media calling him Coach Prime?

Speaker 2 Do you call him Coach Prime? It's a little weird.

Speaker 1 That part I agree.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I call him. On the broadcast,

Speaker 1 when I call him Neon,

Speaker 1 there's some coaches I call coach, and then there's some coaches I call by their first, and there's no rhyme or reason to it because sometimes, like, if they're like Marcus Freeman's younger than me, so I'm not going to call him coach.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, he's Marcus. But some of the older guys, I'm just like, well, you look like somebody who might have coached me back in the day.

Speaker 1 And then, so I grew up in a house with a, you know, a dad who was a high school assistant coach. And so I was around high school football practices growing up.

Speaker 1 And those people, all of them call each other coach. Yeah.
Like they don't use names. And sometimes they just speak in the language of coach.
Like it's sort of like I am Groot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basically, you based on tone, you know what they're saying coach coach

Speaker 1 coach

Speaker 1 the problem with Dion is that he's a first name guy he's like Shaq like when you say coach Sanders I'm like who are you talking about how about prime what if I just called him prime do you think that would make him mad I think he should just be coach Deion

Speaker 1 Because Deion is what, like, when you say Deion, you think of Deion Sanders. Absolutely.
But you don't think of his last name. When you say Shaq, you think of Shaquille O'Neal.

Speaker 1 Like, if Shaq was a coach, Coach O'Neal would would sound weird. That would sound very strange.
Right. So, he's a first-name guy.
Coach Diesel? Coach Diesel, yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, I had a friend that wanted to name his son Coach because then they get immediate respect from everybody that they talk to.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I like it when they name him like president.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think that's the perfect one, or colonel.

Speaker 2 Yeah, give him a title, like a military, a military title.

Speaker 1 Mr. Florida State had a guy named Mr.
Alexander. That's the ultimate in respect.
You're just always Mr. Mr.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and the coach's wife is always Miss, and then the first name, whatever that might be.

Speaker 2 All right, so this weekend, we got some good games. LSU, Mississippi.

Speaker 2 Can Lane win one of those?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if he can.

Speaker 1 It's weird. I've almost given up trying to predict what LSU will do because I thought they'd struggle in Starkville, and they went and just bombed Mississippi State.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, well, Arkansas just lost to BYU.

Speaker 1 They're going to struggle covering these LSU receivers. They did, but I didn't think Arkansas would be able to score on LSU the way they were.
And that was just this back and forth thing.

Speaker 1 So I think LSU should be able to win this game. I think they're just better up front than Ole Miss.
But

Speaker 1 again,

Speaker 1 it seems like everything I pick with LSU is wrong. Yeah.
What about? Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2 I was going to say the Battle of the Nerds, Notre Dame Duke.

Speaker 2 Which asshole fan base is going to be happier this weekend?

Speaker 1 See, I don't feel like Duke football fans are like that. They're the same people.
They're the same. They are, but they aren't.

Speaker 1 This is what I struggle with.

Speaker 1 It's like when LeBron was in Cleveland, I was like, no, Cavs fans and Browns fans aren't the same. No, they're not the same.
They are, but they aren't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, no, Duke basketball is like, I imagine Duke basketball fans as a Duke basketball fan has a Duke sticker, a New York Yankee sticker, and an Alabama sticker on his car at the same time.

Speaker 2 It's actually Hank, and he's a Duke Patriots fan and a Cowboys one.

Speaker 1 So it's a star, a lighthouse.

Speaker 1 I had to get the Lighthouse. I'm sorry.
I don't know how much more Lighthouse talk there will be on this.

Speaker 1 This is Lighthouse possible. Yeah, yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 But no, so I think the Duke, like, I love the Duke football story because I think Mike Elko has done a great job. Riley Leonard is awesome.
This is not the week they want to be playing Notre Dame.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 they were probably praying

Speaker 1 that Notre Dame stopped Ohio State and was going to come in all fat and happy because I was at South Bend yesterday. I talked to Audrey Estime last night.

Speaker 1 Like, they are bounced back and they're pissed. They're pissed off.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They need to get Holtz to give him a pregame speech.

Speaker 1 All right, man.

Speaker 1 Duke is. I think he can call Duke soft, although Duke's not soft.
No, they're not. We saw them play Clemson.
They ain't soft. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
So my last question.

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Speaker 1 Okay, so we talked about all the big dogs.

Speaker 1 What's a team that you've got your eye on that you're like, ooh, this could be something.

Speaker 1 Something's happening here they might not make the college football playoff but we could be talking about them at the end of the season as either a spoiler or 10-win team new year's day you know day bowl like something like that miami oh yeah miami's been

Speaker 1 i'll go back to my big people thing like go to the beginning of the season acc media days mario cristobal is there and he's usually pretty hard on his offensive line like he doesn't say nice things about his offensive line unless he feels really good about it and he was singing the praises yeah and then you saw them against a m and they protected tyler Tyler Van Dyke very well.

Speaker 1 They've been able to run the ball on everybody. And, like, because I couldn't figure out with AM,

Speaker 1 could they not get a pass rush going? Could they not tackle? Or was it maybe Miami's just pretty good? And then you see AM against Auburn, and they just shut Auburn down.

Speaker 1 So I'm thinking, maybe Miami is pretty good.

Speaker 1 And Miami's got Florida State, obviously, still. There's a Miami, North Carolina game that could be a lot of fun.
Drake May.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Francis Maui-Noah, that's the name you need to know.

Speaker 1 The right tackle from Miami. He's a true freshman.

Speaker 1 Mario Cristobal says he has the greatest muscle density of any offensive lineman that has ever come through Miami, which I actually believe Mario Cristobal probably keeps that step.

Speaker 1 That's a great quote.

Speaker 2 I love it when coaches talk about players like their horses. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The cupboard was bare in Miami when we got there. Like, they did not have dudes.
Well, they've got a tackle who's been hurt who started, I believe, 36 games in his career. And he's,

Speaker 1 once he comes back, that's great for depth, but they're doing doing great.

Speaker 1 That group has improved quite a bit. And if you can improve on the line of scrimmage that dramatically, you're a very different team than what we saw last year.

Speaker 1 Like Miami, they got their asses beat by Florida State last year. That was embarrassing.
I don't think

Speaker 1 they're that team anymore. I love it.
Miami being back is a great thing for college football.

Speaker 2 I got one last, last question. Who do you think the best team just off the top of your head in the Sunbelt conference is this year? Sunbelt.

Speaker 1 You think Sunbelt. Well, PFT, I know you're obviously talking about Sean Elliott's Georgia State Panthers there with.
Overrated.

Speaker 1 They got Chad Staggs, who'd been the DC at Coastal Carolina for a while. I was thinking about that.
You know, I know my Sunbelt ball. Of course it's JMU.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 1 And the NCAA is still screwing them. It's fucked up.

Speaker 2 They could go undefeated this year and they won't get a bowling ball.

Speaker 1 It's wrong. It's nuts.
It's wrong.

Speaker 2 It's very stupid. It's stupid, though.

Speaker 1 It's very, very stupid. Yeah, I mean, this college football season,

Speaker 1 I just am so happy that there's, it feels like we have so many good quarterbacks, too. Like, I mean, the Pac-12 alone.
But I think we're going to get this from now on. Because guys transferring.

Speaker 1 Guys transferring in NIL. Like Sam Hartman, Bo Nicks, and Michael Pinnix Jr.
all could be in the NFL right now. They probably were going to make the same amount of money or more going back to college.

Speaker 1 Right. And so you see them go back for another year.
I don't know that it changes their draft stock. Like, Michael Pinnix's medicals will be what they will be.
Right.

Speaker 1 But he will be a legend at Washington forever.

Speaker 1 I like this speech because everyone, you know, there's a lot of older college football fans that have the hand ringing about the NIL and the game has changed, transfer Portal.

Speaker 1 I, we are going to get to see guys. I've told this story before, but I like it really hit me when at week one, I bet on Louisiana Tech and I turn on the game and I fucking bet on the game.

Speaker 1 I was like, what the fuck? How do I get away from this guy? But like, at least I know the names and it's kind of cool. Well, and we're going to see it in college basketball.

Speaker 1 I know you're a big college basketball guy. You're going to see more people stay.
And kind of like when we were kids, when we actually knew who was on each team,

Speaker 1 football is going to be even more like that. The difference is we may not know who's on each team.
We're going to know the players and they're going to pop around. They're on, exactly.

Speaker 1 But that's fine. Like quarterbacks, as long, listen,

Speaker 1 the quarterback dad complex, they always, you know, they hold, they make them do eighth grade twice so that they're the right age and all that. You got to make sure they graduate in three years.

Speaker 1 That way you get that free transfer and then you get unlimited transfer so you can JT Daniels it and go to four different schools.

Speaker 1 Now it's everywhere.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
No, I like seeing even the Badgers with Tander Mordecai. Like it's fun watching him play.
I knew he was good watching him at SMU, and now he's fun.

Speaker 1 Big kid, I'm telling you right now, they get a little more team speed in there. Yeah, and I know Luke Fickle is going to do that.
I know that's going to be a priority in the offseason.

Speaker 1 That offense is going to rip.

Speaker 1 I got ahead of myself in the preseason.

Speaker 1 Shocker for anyone who listens to this show, I would never do that.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I've taken a longer-term approach where it's like you can't, even like a Deion who went 3-0, but you can see that it's not, you can't flip an entire team and make them at these, you know,

Speaker 1 here's the deal: tamper with the best slot receiver on every Sunbelt team. Okay.
All right. And just

Speaker 1 collect. Yeah.
Just be like, hey, hey, you ever think you want to make up a t-shirt? Because you know those dudes are fast. They're going to get on the bars.

Speaker 1 They're probably like, well, Dre Archer played in the Mac, but he's from Florida. But like, there's a Dre Archer out there who could be a star in that offense at Wisconsin.
Okay. All right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You ever think about making some t-shirts? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did that Caleb Williams. Probably the most regrettable DM ever.
I was like, dude, we can make so many good t-shirts.

Speaker 1 Didn't respond. Caleb Williams, people understand, like, Caleb Williams' parents have been setting him up to be the number one pick in the NFL draft since he was like eight years old.

Speaker 1 Do they realize that it's going to be the Bears?

Speaker 1 I think they're okay with that. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
I know that they threw out there that he might stay.

Speaker 1 I spent all summer trying not to text you.

Speaker 1 I don't think the Fields thing is going to work out. I don't want to burst your balloon.
No, no, no, no. This is before all that.

Speaker 1 But no, he's just trying not to play the Cardinals. Yeah.
Like, because the Cardinals, they drafted Josh Rose and threw him in the trash. They draft Kyler and they're already abandoning and tanking.

Speaker 1 So it will be the most hilarious thing in the world if the Bears, thanks to

Speaker 1 trading for that Panthers pick. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 they get him. Yeah.
Because the Cardinals are trying to suck. and not doing as good a job as the Bears.
Get me excited. How can it misses Kale Williams?

Speaker 1 The the most can't miss since Trevor Lawrence or Andrew Luck. Okay.
Because the man makes magic.

Speaker 1 And the things that he can do that are magical are not things that you can't do in the NFL. Right.

Speaker 1 Because you'll see quarterbacks in college who do amazing things, but you're like, oh, the first time he gets hit by NFL players, he's going to break in half.

Speaker 1 Caleb Williams is a eyes downfield. The things I do that are magic

Speaker 1 are in service of throwing the ball down the field. Right.
It's Mahomes' ass. Yes.
very, very similar, different arm angles, that sort of thing. And here's the thing: whoever gets the number two pick,

Speaker 1 also the Bears, Drake May.

Speaker 1 Well, they should draft

Speaker 1 both and have a competition. I'm saying that.
Run two quarterbacks in the same offense. Yeah, because Drake May is going to be good in the NFL too.
Do the old Lloyd Carr. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just switch back and forth. Oh,

Speaker 1 it is very exciting to see this because

Speaker 1 these two are so much fun to watch. And any other year, if Caleb Williams wasn't there, like Drake May would be so obviously the number one pick in the draft.

Speaker 1 But Caleb Caleb is so, like, I knew when Caleb was a freshman at Oklahoma, that game against Kansas where there's the fourth down play and his back's got the ball, but he's not to the line to gain yet.

Speaker 1 And Caleb just steals it from him.

Speaker 1 He just has these instincts that nobody else has. Yeah, special.
Yeah. He's special.
Okay, I'm excited now. Well, Andy, everyone go check out Andy on three networks.

Speaker 1 You can find him on YouTube, podcasts. How many podcasts a week are you doing? Three? Six right now.
Six. Yeah, during the season.

Speaker 1 We don't have two player podcasts.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I would talk about this with my friends anyway, so I may as well just turn the mic on.

Speaker 2 Do you look at having conversations with people like this is wasted time right now?

Speaker 1 We could be podcasting. We could be recording this.

Speaker 2 These words could be monetized. Yes, I'm very transactional like that.

Speaker 1 Do you ever find yourself missing Ari reminding you that stars matter? Oh, yeah. Ari Wasserman, my former co-host at the athletic,

Speaker 1 always reminded me of storms. But here's the thing.
Here's what people don't get about that. When I got hired at Sports Illustrated in 2008, it was to cover recruiting.
Right.

Speaker 1 So I've always known that stars matter. But he, to his credit, he branded it well.
It's funny that people are now figuring it out.

Speaker 1 Like, hey, the best recruits, the best recruiting class will be the team that wins next. But what I love is when people get so mad about it, right?

Speaker 1 People want in their minds to believe that a team full of gritty three stars can win on heart alone. Yep.
Stars matter. Absolutely not.
Stars matter.

Speaker 1 Give me a six foot seven, 350 pound guy who played basketball until his junior year of high school and only played football for a year, but now he's a third-year junior and he's dominating everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or like right after the draft, when they talk about how many three stars there were, it's like, yeah, but like 90% of the five-stars got drafted. Right, right.

Speaker 1 There's 32 five stars a year and there's 2,000 three stars.

Speaker 2 Who's in charge of the star system?

Speaker 1 Well, our guy is Charles Power at on three.

Speaker 1 He's the one who ultimately decides what stars you get and the politics of all that.

Speaker 1 I feel so bad for those guys because it, you know, and they're trying their their best and but they've got the players hitting them up the parents hitting them up the coaches hitting them up it's a it's a weird deal it's such a weird little subsection of sports that people who love college football understand and no one else knows exists but it's the most intense because you get that dude who is convinced he's a five star and he can't get that fifth star He will be just

Speaker 1 all over you until you get it. And I feel for those guys because they are fielding those phone calls and those DMs constantly.

Speaker 2 Just constant links to their huddle tapes and all that.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Yeah.
Well, I get the huddle tapes sometimes too. And that's fun because, like,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 when I was at Florida, Jockwez Green was there. And Jockwez is a high school coach in Bradenton, Florida now.

Speaker 1 He's got a kid named Ian, who I can't remember his last name, but his nickname is Big Chicken. He's a D-Tack.
I like that. And I don't know that he, I don't know where he falls in the star system.

Speaker 1 I think he's younger anyway. But I just love his name, Big Chicken, and he's this giant dude who squats like 600 pounds.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it makes it pop.

Speaker 1 So, thank you, Big Chicken, for sending me your huddle tape. Yes, yes,

Speaker 1 shout out, Big Chicken, Marietta, Georgia, the big chicken. They got the big dude, the big chicken.
Big KFC. That's a big.

Speaker 1 I knew a guy from there, and I think that's where Sean McVay's from.

Speaker 2 Is it the biggest KFC?

Speaker 1 It's just a big fucking chicken that they have on the side of the street.

Speaker 2 No, it's a roadside attraction.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not like that.

Speaker 1 We talk about it like this. It's this podunk.
Marietta

Speaker 1 is like suburban, suburban Atlanta. That's what the big boss man in WWF.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He's a correctional officer from Cobb County, Georgia, which makes it sound like he's out in the country. Oh, no.
It's the most suburban of suburban. Yeah, yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 Well, Andy, thank you as always. You are the best.
Great to see you in person. Hopefully, next time you come visit us, our new office will be open.

Speaker 2 And hopefully you'll have like 70 extra pounds because you look too good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he does look good. Listen, I will count calories with anybody who wants to count capital.
Me and Cole Kublick's my calorie counting buddy now from the SEC network.

Speaker 1 My wife got me on it like two years ago. And

Speaker 1 just put it in there.

Speaker 1 When I said I was losing weight, well, I don't know, the 20 millionth time I said I was going to lose weight like two years ago. Andy texted me.

Speaker 1 He's like, all you got to do is you got to get your Apple Watch setting and you got to burn 1,500 calories a day. And I was like, okay, okay, this will be easy.

Speaker 1 And then I went and I went to the gym for like an hour and it was like, you've burned 350 calories. You can't walk on the treadmill.
You know.

Speaker 2 What is it, the 34, 30?

Speaker 1 That's so many calories you burn every day. Well, I don't burn that many every day, but I count all the ones I eat.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And that's, so what that does is it keeps you, like when you would just grab a bag of potato chips before,

Speaker 1 you never do that again. Yeah.
Because you're like, this is 300 calories that I will never, you think about how long that is on the treadmill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was golfing with Big Cat the other day.

Speaker 2 Actually, the Writer Cup video just came out today. Beautiful.
And his watch went off on the second hole. It was like 10 a.m.
He's like, congratulations, your exercise ring is closed.

Speaker 1 It's like all I do is walk around.

Speaker 1 I had somebody text me about that because they were trying to get into it they're like they they send me their their rings and and their their goal was 500 calories a day i'm like dude you just do that breathing yeah you gotta move move up a little bit on a sunday i don't even come close to that um all right well andy thank you as always uh and we'll definitely have you back on before the season's over my pleasure thanks andy

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Houston Texans fullback Andrew Beck for one question with the fullback.
So we're all going to ask a question, then you get a question.

Speaker 1 I'll start your punt return, or sorry, kick return this weekend. So for people who missed it, he was, Andrew Beck was technically in the last 50 years the heaviest guy.

Speaker 1 You're not fat, but the heaviest guy to return a kickoff for a touchdown.

Speaker 1 And he did it at 255 pounds, returned a kick against the Jaguars. So my question, though, is watching it, how surprised were you while returning it?

Speaker 1 And at what point were you like, holy shit, I'm going to the house? Because it looked like you were more shocked than anyone else.

Speaker 15 I mean, as soon as it went up, I was excited. I was like, this is my ball, 100%.
Because I played with B-Mac in Denver before this. He's a kicker for Jacksonville.

Speaker 15 So before the game went to him, I was like, hey, man, don't try anything with like push kicks or anything like that. He's like, no, man, wouldn't kick it short to you this whole game, promise.

Speaker 15 Sure enough, like second or third one goes up. See it go up.
I'm like, man, this is mine 100%.

Speaker 15 And it kept just carrying. And I was like, we're not supposed to step back, but I've committed at this point.
So I take like a couple of steps back and I hear Mike like

Speaker 15 running towards me. And then right before he bumps into me, he's like, oh, me, me, me.
I'm like, oh, there's nothing I can do about it now. Like I'm committed.
I've stepped back to return the ball. So

Speaker 15 drop it. And he heard me say something that I'm not going to say to y'all, but my mother's going to watch this.
She'd get mad if I said it on the radio. But pick it up.

Speaker 15 And as soon as I made those first three guys miss and turn the corner, I saw where everybody was because they had condensed it to try and make a play when I dropped the ball.

Speaker 15 I was like, I can get to this corner. I might be able to score.

Speaker 15 And as soon as I got over the first defender, I was like, oh, I'm getting to the house 100% because I knew I was going to get the corner on B-Mac.

Speaker 15 I have to outrun the kicker, or I had to go back to the locker room right after that.

Speaker 1 There was no doubt.

Speaker 15 And then got down the sideline, felt like a thousand yards later, crossed the goal. And I turned around, and Brevin Jordan's another tight end.
He's standing there. He's like,

Speaker 15 Hey, man, you did it. Like, woo, let's go.
And I just looked at him. I was like, Are there any flags?

Speaker 15 Started going crazy. It was, it was a really, really cool feeling.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 2 What a cool story. My question was going to be: as a fullback, you probably don't have a touchdown celebration planned.
So when you get into the end zone, what goes through your head?

Speaker 2 Did you think of a celebration due in the moment? Or have you gone back since then and be like, damn, you know what?

Speaker 2 I really wish I'd done the thing where I pretend to unscrew the top of the football, chug it, spike it. Are you having second doubts about your celebration?

Speaker 15 How legendary without it, man? I got to text y'all beforehand. Y'all got to come up with celebrations and sell them to people.

Speaker 1 Stone cold the football. Like, like, chug a beer, slam it.
That's incredible.

Speaker 15 I wish, man, I was so focused on trying to breathe. Because what people don't understand is I'm on the kickoff team, too.

Speaker 15 So, my first thought after I like hugged Brevin and started celebrating, guys, is I'm about to have to run down and cover another kick, man. What am I going to do?

Speaker 15 And I went up to our special teams quarter, he's celebrating. He's so excited.
I couldn't even celebrate him. I looked him dead in the eyes.

Speaker 15 I was like, Frankie, I don't know how I'm gonna cover this kick, man. What are we gonna do? He's like, I'll get you a blow for this one since you got the touchdown.

Speaker 15 But that was the only thought was going through my mind. I was like, No flags, go catch your breath because we still got like another basically half to play.

Speaker 15 And how the hell am I going to to cover this kick? That's it. Yeah.
Should have planned something. Man, unscrewing the top of the ball is tough.
I got to do that next time.

Speaker 1 You got to have one in your back pocket. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, Cheek.

Speaker 8 Hey, Andrew, Jake Marsh, part of my take podcast. My question is: if a running back runs and a wide receiver receives, why is a fullback called a fullback?

Speaker 15 Wow. It's got to go back to the weight thing, right? Like halfback.

Speaker 1 I wanted to Google it before this, but I didn't want to spoil it for anyone. I think it's because fullbacks.

Speaker 15 Is there a reason?

Speaker 1 I think they're actually

Speaker 2 found because they got an asshole. on them

Speaker 1 that's what we're gonna go with yeah it's a fullback it's gotta be the weight thing yeah

Speaker 2 because the running backs are about half of what i weigh approval and a quarter well i think it's because a fullback is lined up fully in the backfield halfback is lined up actually no that doesn't make sense because a quarterback no i was gonna say it's a quarterback and then a fullback and then a half that makes no sense at all

Speaker 15 It's got to go back to like the old like Wing T days or Wishbone days or something like that. There's definitely a real answer to that.
100%. I'm not the one to ask.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 this question doesn't count for one question to a fullback, but we do give a trophy out every year to the best college football fullback. It's called the low man trophy.

Speaker 2 And so we've been doing that for the last six years. We would like it if you would be on the committee to nominate and vote on who the best fullback in the country is.
Do you accept the honor?

Speaker 15 100% would be my honor. I love it.

Speaker 1 Awesome. I love it.

Speaker 2 The committee grows.

Speaker 1 And we'll get an answer for you on the four growth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it says a fullback in football gets the name because it's behind or or back of the quarterback.

Speaker 4 But the half-back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. That doesn't make sense.

Speaker 8 That's the only explanation I see. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Taylor Swift fancy.

Speaker 15 We're going to come up with a better one than that.

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 4 Hi, Max, producer. Part of my take here.

Speaker 4 There's a play that's circulating in the NFL right now that is garnering a lot of controversy. It's called the Tush Push.
I don't know if you've ever heard of it.

Speaker 4 People are really upset about it and want it outlawed, and I want to know why those people are wrong.

Speaker 15 So this has got to be about the QB sneak stuff, right?

Speaker 1 Right,

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 15 Obviously, I read that from the Eagles and stuff like that. I mean, we did it in the game last against Jacksonville.

Speaker 15 I come back and I pushed CJ and it looks great on paper until we opened up a hole and CJ almost got assassinated by the linebacker because nobody, you can't get to the second level to block.

Speaker 15 So I pushed him right into the linebacker.

Speaker 15 I don't know if it's the best. Like it looks great on paper until you run it.
And even CJ was like, man, that sucked when he popped up.

Speaker 15 I was like, you're the first down dude doesn't even matter but no I'm here for it I'm here for it I you know what it's man it's such a cool play to watch it's like a major rugby vibes like the scrum and everything like that it's like old school gladiator style man they should do it every play yeah i agree three or four yards carry i think they could get down the field the entire way down the field i think they could if they ran it from the 25 they could average 2.5 yards per carry and just bleed the clock going like a 12 minute drive yeah time of possession would be insane.

Speaker 15 It would. The other team can't win it if they don't touch the ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true Army football. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So our other producer, Hank, isn't here yet. So I'm going to ask Hank's question for him.
He sent me this question before the interview.

Speaker 2 So you were the Patriots in 2019 for a cup of coffee, right?

Speaker 1 You were there for a little bit.

Speaker 2 Hank wanted to know how awesome the old lighthouse was at Gillette Stadium. Did you get to see the old lighthouse that looked over the field?

Speaker 15 I mean,

Speaker 15 I don't know. I was so busy trying not to mess up anything back there.
Like the whole building, the tension's so high. I don't even think I ever looked up.

Speaker 1 Sounds like it was forgettable.

Speaker 15 It was a lighthouse. Yeah.
I mean, I tell people the same thing.

Speaker 15 Like when they ask about how your time there was, like, I probably learned more about football and like playing the game in the 15 minutes I was there than I had in years leading up to that, just because the intensity and the demand they have on their guys.

Speaker 15 And I mean, little did I know, it's just kind of an NFL thing. Like we got here and it's the same way.
Y'all were mentioning earlier, like how D'Amico is and how intense of a guy he is.

Speaker 15 It's the same thing with him. It was the same for my, you know, time in Denver, you know, however that went.
But, uh, but, you know, I, it's,

Speaker 15 I guess, getting back to the lighthouse, man, no, I can't think of it off the top of my head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was forgettable. That's a forgettable lifetime here.

Speaker 1 You were also in a tough situation. They brought you in.

Speaker 2 You were filling in for, uh, it was like right after Devlin left, too. And that dude was a fucking tank at fullback.

Speaker 15 Dude, so we actually

Speaker 15 overlapped a little bit. Like I was there with him for

Speaker 15 it was, he got hurt that season like that I was there leading into. So I got to learn a little bit from him, man.
One of the best dudes I've ever met.

Speaker 15 Such a great dude and an absolute unit at fullback. Yeah.
Like the full, our last preseason, there were three fullbacks on the roster that preseason.

Speaker 15 It was me, Yak, who's in, I think he's still in Vegas with the Raiders, or was last year, and Jimmy D.

Speaker 15 And Jimmy D with a neck roll, obviously,

Speaker 1 his trademark thing.

Speaker 15 And none of us did, but for the last preseason game, if you look, he did. So all three of us did.
It was actually pretty cool, man. But it was like the only game that I ever did.

Speaker 15 I thought it was the coolest thing, dude. That thing's damn near cheat code.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I love your head roll.

Speaker 15 Snapback, man. It was great.
I loved it. The neck roll.

Speaker 1 The full speed run through people with that thing on.

Speaker 2 The cowboy collars, the old school face mask. I love everything about the fullback position.

Speaker 1 All stocks, pads.

Speaker 1 So, all right. So that's a good answer.
The lifehouse was completely forgettable, almost like it wasn't there,

Speaker 1 which is like the opposite of what a lighthouse is supposed to do. Yeah, a lighthouse is supposed to let you know exactly where it is.

Speaker 2 Well, Belichick hates look at me guys, and that's what a lighthouse by definition is. Right, right.

Speaker 1 Um, all right, so do you have a question for us?

Speaker 15 Yeah, man, but I don't know if y'all are going to answer.

Speaker 15 Okay, so of all of the active NFL players that you've fed on, like I saw you had Horror the Destroyer a little bit ago, most disappointing interview you've had.

Speaker 1 Dak Prescott. Yeah, that's pretty easy.
That's pretty easy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No doubt about it. Not even a question.
That was so easy.

Speaker 2 You didn't even have to say like active NFL players.

Speaker 1 Well, it might have been Dan Marino.

Speaker 2 What's the word? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If it was just player. If it starts with DA, we don't want him on the show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. Wait, did you just say

Speaker 1 Hoyer the Destroyer?

Speaker 15 Oh, yeah, man. The towels?

Speaker 1 That's what you call Hoyer the Destroyer.

Speaker 1 The towels?

Speaker 15 Y'all don't see the towels that he had when he was in. It was when he was first drafted, right? He had all those Hoyer the Destroyer towels that used to spin around.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that was a thing until when I was in New England.

Speaker 15 Somebody kept putting him on his spot in the meeting rooms. They had hundreds of them.
And every day would just put a Hoyer the Destroyer towel. He's trying to like, who the fuck is doing this?

Speaker 15 And I don't know if they ever found out. I don't know if it was equipment guy or something like that.
It might have been Stiddam because it was Stiddom's rookie year too.

Speaker 15 But yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I'm looking right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We got to start calling him Hoyer the Destroyer, the Destroyer. His real name's Axel.
He's way cooler than he lets lets on.

Speaker 1 Hoyer the Destroyer.

Speaker 15 He's a good guy. I don't know if he'd remember.
We were there at the same time. He's a little bit further along in his career than I was at the time.
But yeah, man, he's a good guy to be around.

Speaker 1 Has that, well, I can't ask another question, but I'll just pose it out there. Like,

Speaker 1 you can ask me.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, do you ever, is it ever weird, like, seeing a guy that you played on the same team with and you have to like reintroduce yourself?

Speaker 2 That's a good question. I was thinking about that.
I don't know if anybody else in the room has an example of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Absolutely.
It's the worst.

Speaker 15 It's almost almost as bad as like when you walk up to him and you're like, he's definitely going to remember me. We played together for a while.

Speaker 15 And you're like, hey, great, great man, good to see you. And he's like, huh?

Speaker 1 He's just like that blank face, like that.

Speaker 15 He looks at you like I'm supposed to know you from somewhere. Face, he just gives you the generic answer, like, yeah, man, good luck the rest of this year.

Speaker 15 You're like, oh, man, he doesn't have a clue who I am. That's tough.

Speaker 2 Big cat, what about like, hypothetically, if you were on an NFL team and you switched teams a couple times, like, would it take a while for you to relearn brand new handshakes with every team that you go to?

Speaker 2 Because you build up these handshakes that you invent with your teammates. You're like, fuck, I can't use those handshakes anymore.
I got to learn new ones.

Speaker 1 Well, Andrew, you were just telling me about that, right?

Speaker 15 100%. Yeah.
No, obviously, I'm a big handshake guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 15 everywhere you go, having to make up new handshakes. Sure, that's a pain.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 I delegate at this point. Someone's like, man, we got to get a handshake.
Like DP, our running back here is like, man, we got to get a handshake.

Speaker 15 I was like, ah, man, you're definitely the guy to come up with it, too. Let's go.
I want to see what you got.

Speaker 15 That's where I'm at now. Yeah.
Smart.

Speaker 1 Love it. All right.
Well, Andrew, thank you, man. We really appreciate it.
We got to come. Maybe we were just talking to the PR guy, come down to Houston.

Speaker 1 We've actually been talking about maybe Grit Week next year doing a little Texas. So

Speaker 1 maybe get you back on the show. And you now are part of the Low Man Trophy Committee.
So congratulations. That's a huge honor.
Unbelievable honor. Yes.
Yeah. Unbelievable honor.

Speaker 15 I appreciate you guys, man. Thanks.
Thank you all for having me. I'm excited for the committee, too.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the trophy is expecting to come back, man.

Speaker 2 They are. They truly are.
The trophy is literally just a tire. And sometimes we nail a beer can to it.
It's the grittiest trophy in sports.

Speaker 15 That is a necessity. Yeah, I'm denying the committee if we don't add the beer can as a permanent attachment to the trophy.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like it.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Thanks so much.
And run some more kicks back. Yeah, I want to see more.

Speaker 2 Bring back the fullback. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do some dives.

Speaker 1 Old. I don't have to.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.
Thanks, man. See ya.

Speaker 15 Appreciate y'all.

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Speaker 1 Hey PMT. So I work for the Cincinnati Reds, and as we were shutting down the stadium stadium after the last game of the year, there was a woman crouching down by a fence that needed to get moved.

Speaker 1 Okay. I walked up to her and said, excuse me, ma'am.

Speaker 2 I need to move you.

Speaker 1 And as it turned, and as I said it, they turned around and it was a dude. Oh.
The long hair and jeans completely threw me off. Do not recommend

Speaker 1 very awkward. Kind of looked like PFT, to be honest.

Speaker 1 What was that last part? Kind of looked like PFT, to be honest.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, it sounds like a handsome guy.

Speaker 2 I would say that, yeah, it happens. And you can't let it affect you if you have long hair.
It's probably been, I don't know, eight months. I get it like twice a year.
I'll be at a restaurant.

Speaker 2 Someone will come up behind me. What can I get you, ladies?

Speaker 1 Or,

Speaker 2 excuse me, ma'am, would you like another drink?

Speaker 1 I've never gotten it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, no offense, Max, but

Speaker 1 never gotten it. Wolf.

Speaker 2 Because you probably...

Speaker 1 You get more like, hey, what's up, miss?

Speaker 1 What position do you play on the softball field? Catcher?

Speaker 4 I don't know if you just heard me. I said, I've never gotten it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you get that instead. No.
Also,

Speaker 1 that would be the same thing. Spin zone, PFT.
I think part of why you get it is you got a good ass.

Speaker 2 I do have a good ass. Right.
There was one time I was in South Carolina. I was at a grocery store.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 What? Hank's just too small, Joe.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's very funny. You also don't have a beard.

Speaker 2 I don't have a beard.

Speaker 1 Let's say, come on, let's back off my boy. Hank's mad.
Back off my boy. Hank's mad.

Speaker 2 Again, this is like when Big Cat got upset about Sam Howell. I'm not going to take anything Hank says personally today because he's mad about his lighthouse.
His lighthouse is like your Justin Fields.

Speaker 2 That's how much he loves this fucking thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, no, not anymore. Well, I hope he comes to reality about it soon.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I was in a grocery store one time in South Carolina, and I was in like the deli section, and I was reaching.

Speaker 2 I was bending over to get something out of the frozen thing that was in the middle. And then I turned around, and the deli guy behind the counter was just looking at my ass.

Speaker 2 And then I looked at him, and he looked at me and he was like, oh, no. And I was like, I was like, you were just looking at my ass, weren't you? And he's like, no, no, I wasn't.
I was like, it's okay.

Speaker 2 It's okay. I got a good dump.
He's like, no, I swear to God, I wasn't. But he was so embarrassed.
But yeah, it happens occasionally. Listen,

Speaker 2 it comes with the territory. I'm secure in my sexuality.

Speaker 1 That's all. That's all.

Speaker 2 It's never happened to me from the front.

Speaker 1 I'll say that. Facts.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Except when you dress up like a woman like four times in one month. No, it was like three times in four years.

Speaker 1 No, there was a stretch.

Speaker 2 Listen, I got asked to be a bridesmaid in Dana Beer's wedding. What am I going to say? No, Dana Beers?

Speaker 1 Hey, Hank.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend asked me to take the garbage out before work. I threw the garbage in my trunk because I was too lazy to carry it all the way to the the dumpster.

Speaker 1 Two days later, I had no idea what my car was. Like, straight land fell until I opened my trunk and found the garbage still sitting there.

Speaker 1 I had put the garbage in the trunk and somehow just drove to work and forgot to drop it off the dumpster.

Speaker 1 I had to remove my trunk carpet and soak it in soapy water. Still smells like shit.

Speaker 1 People probably thought you committed a murder. This is such a relatable move.
Like the moving of boxes or garbage, I just do, I like gradually get there. Yeah.
Where it's like, oh, I'll get it.

Speaker 1 I'll get it to the door. I'll get it to the garage.

Speaker 1 I'll get it to the it's or the other move that guys do I think everyone here does it like when you have something in your car and maybe it's in your back seat and you're just like I'll just get it later Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 You're like what why wouldn't I just get it now?

Speaker 2 It's the very definition of out of sight out of mind.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like you took the garbage and you put it away just not in the right place, but it was gone like sometimes us as guys, we don't have was it object permanence where if you don't see something, then it doesn't exist.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's the mindset with trash.

Speaker 1 My golf clubs have been in my car since we last golfed. There's no reason for them to be in there right now.
No. I just don't want to take them out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because then it's like one extra thing I have to do.

Speaker 1 Hey, PMT boys. This is even more relatable, but even worse.
I was using my parents' shower the other day, and I broke the shower head off and put it back up with electrical tape. Oh.

Speaker 1 They don't know that it broke. What should I do if they eventually find out? I'm also just living in constant fear that it'll fall off again while they're using it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, they're going to find out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think you just don't say anything. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Some guy came in and was working in the bathroom, a guy broke into the house and took a shower, and the guy broke into the house, broke the shower, and fixed it.

Speaker 2 Isn't this the plot of the cat in the hat?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is just don't worry about this one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, nobody uses those shower handles, anyways. Yeah, that's that's the bigger question: is why we're using the handle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is also back to the out of sight, out of mind. This is a future you problem.
Yeah, don't stress, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, last one, that was it. That was it.

Speaker 7 Or you know what you can do?

Speaker 2 You can go take another shower, pretend to slip, grab the handle, and then go out and be like, I almost fell on my head, but good thing that shower handle was there. I reached out, grabbed it.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry that it's broken, but the alternative was I cracked my head open in your bathroom.

Speaker 1 I've broken probably

Speaker 1 every single towel rack that I've ever had in my life. I don't know if you guys have that happen.
I've broken a couple. Just a

Speaker 1 little bit of weight where you're just stuffing the towel in.

Speaker 2 I never do the fold.

Speaker 1 Every guy does the stuff. Yeah.
The stuff is a terrible move.

Speaker 2 That's why I've moved on to hooks. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hooks are so much. I have hooks now, but I've definitely had a lot of towel racks.

Speaker 2 I broke a toilet one time in a bathroom, and it was like the mom of a friend. And I went over, I took a crap, and I sat down.
I sat down too hard on it.

Speaker 2 The entire back of the toilet shattered in half. The toilet flooded the bathroom with water.
It started dripping through the basement ceiling. I had no explanation for why.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 spin zone, that is kind of how like a porno could start.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Hey, you need some help with these pipes? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, numbers: three,

Speaker 1 one,

Speaker 1 sixty-nine, twenty, eighteen. Memes, ever gotten it? Nope.
Okay, two,

Speaker 1 thirty-eight,

Speaker 1 thirty-eight,

Speaker 1 thirty-eight. By the way, everyone, three, we're on schedule.
The door, the soundproof doors have been delivered to the have shipped to the new office. We are on schedule.
The countdown begins.

Speaker 1 I think we are after this week. We are three weeks away from our new new digs, our permanent home.
I couldn't be more excited. So thank you to everyone who's just dealt with whatever this visual is.

Speaker 2 And the flushing, there it is.

Speaker 2 And the flushing pipes. And the small, very, very unrealistic camera perspective where I look short.

Speaker 1 You can say, love you guys. Huh? You say, love you guys?

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 a matter of day to find

Speaker 2 shy away.

Speaker 2 I've been coming for your love of you, for your love of day.

Speaker 2 Don't

Speaker 2 meet me

Speaker 2 safe.

Speaker 2 I'm all designed,

Speaker 2 but he stole a little bit.

Speaker 2 No that

Speaker 2 might be okay.

Speaker 2 Say I'm me.

Speaker 2 It's no better. To be safe inside, to be safe inside.
To be safe.

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone.

Speaker 2 I wanna be fine.

Speaker 2 I wanna

Speaker 2 see.