CFB With Andy Staples, 1 Question With A Fullback Texans Andrew Beck, Lighthouse Presentation And More

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Andy Staples in studio talking college football. Great time with him.
We talk about the whole landscape, everything that's going on. It's been an awesome, awesome season, and we're only one month into it.
So we have Andy on in studio.

We also have Andrew Beck,

the fullback of the Houston Texans who ran back a kick for a touchdown heaviest player to run back a kick for a touchdown in 50 years one question with the fullback new segment we are going to talk Monday Night Football we're going to do the Lighthouse finale for now. I want to leave that open, but Hank has brought a PowerPoint slide.
We have Jimbo's slides. We have Jimbo's.
We have hot seat, chill thrown. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection

you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always

deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10%

off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat work gear. Okay,

let's go. no place to hang out or wash in and then i can't name all on the sun oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to electric it's part of my take present about martial sports Welcome to of My Take.
Today is Wednesday, September 27th, and people are mad about Jalen Hurts and the tush push. Mad about that tush push.
Very upset. They want it banned.
The haters want it banned. Listen, as a Commanders fan, has to play the Eagles twice every year.
You got to get tush pushed a lot. I love the tush push.
I do too. I really do.
I think if you don't like it, then stop it. Figure out a way to stop it.
Until then, if you don't like it, you can either try to figure out how to make teams stop doing it to you or do it yourself. But it turns out you don't have a quarterback that can squat a semi truck.
Right. And you don't have the best offensive line in football, so it's harder.
by the way eagles dominated the box that was kind of a comeback to reality for the box uh game that you saw like hey the eagles yeah they are one of the best teams in the league they went down they took care of business i completely agree with you pft the tush push does not bother me in the slightest you know what a good way to not have the tush push in your face don't let the eagles get to the one yard line you can stop them on the first two downs also if you watch it i really think that if they ban this play i think the eagles will still do it and it will go from like 99 success to like 97 because what are you going to legislate into it you're going to say uh you can't push your quarterback from behind okay well jalen hurts will still run a quarterback sneak and be awesome at it yeah right like they don't even in that that touchdown play he wasn't pushed yeah they push him for maybe a second effort but again 90 of the time he's getting those yards himself get a jalen hurts get an offensive line or i actually think that defenses should start throwing players over the line yeah like holding holding them by their legs and their arms. And just as the snap count goes, you just basically toss a player at Jalen Hurts.
We talked about doing that with Darren Sproles, like throwing your running back over the line of scrimmage. So that could work.
I actually have a way that I think might work. Maybe I'm stupid.
I got a couple ways. Maybe I'm an idiot.
So the only way I can see the defense being able to really counter, it's kind of like in soccer when you have a penalty shot and the goalie has to guess which side it's going to. You generally know what gap Jalen Hurts is trying to get to.
It's usually just right over the guard on the left side, maybe in between the guard and the tackle. They're big boys.
They can just submarine you and take you out. Have a normal defensive line and then have like three linebackers stacked up in an eye.
And then as the ball is hiked, all three of your guys, one right after the other, hits the same hole. You guess the hole that he's going to go to.
You got three guys going through the hole at the same time. I think that has as good a shot as any is working.
I like that. The other one, maybe a little more outside the box.
You should just just get your biggest guys same same philosophy figure out which hole they're going to go to and have them lay on top of each other four defensive linemen laying on top of each other and then have all the linebackers push that back into the eagles just push a mound of mound just push a stack of dudes back at the eagles i've been saying they should do that hockey hockey. Yeah.
With like 30 seconds left. Get all your players laying on top of each other in the mouth of the goal.
You can't score. There's probably a rule against that.
Yeah, there's not really. There are no real other good ways to counteract it.
It's Troy Polamalu or LeVar Arrington. That's what you need.
Jump over the line of scrimmage and time the snap perfectly. Oh, maybe do the Belichick check.
Maybe have a gunner come in from the side, try to time it right. And then, and then run directly at them.
But yeah, people are talking about it being a rugby scrum. First of all, I'd like to clarify.
It's not a scrum. It might look like a scrum.
It's a mall. It's a rugby mall.
That's when one guy gets the ball. Everybody kind of binds onto him and pushes that guy through.
It's a mall. And the Eagles apparently brought in a scottish rugby player to try to figure out a way to stop it like get one step ahead of it see what offenses could do was it the eagles that did that max some team did that to try to figure out how to stop the tush push yeah i don't know i don't think it was the eagles yeah so some team brought in a scottish guy and he was like you can't stop it it's organized mass right and as long as their mass is more organized which they will be because they know the snap count they know the play then there's no way to stop it for zero yards I think you know what it was the Eagles Kelsey said that on his podcast with his little co-host yeah yeah I really do think though this is just how the NFL works there's innovation then there's a counteraction to it like someone will try to be able to figure out how to stop it.
It, it, the people who are like, this is just how the NFL works. There's innovation.
Then there's a counteraction to it. Like someone will try to be able to figure out how to stop it.
The people who are like, this is bullshit. This isn't football.
First of all, I think it is football. Getting one yard.
Yeah. Man football is football.
And I'm not too worried about it because you see, okay, the Eagles played on Monday Night Football. They're tush pushing all over the place.
Do you know what the best offense right now in football is?

It's a team that plays with everyone out wide in the Miami Dolphins.

So there's two ways to skin a cat.

Yeah.

The way the NFL works is people find innovation.

They find a play that works.

They're going to spam it until it doesn't work.

And I don't think we should be changing rules against it. I would love to see that matchup, though.
The Dolphins against the Eagles. Two distinct styles of offense.
It's coming. It's coming.
Soupy? You think it's soupy, Max? I think it's in like three weeks, actually. Yeah, it's going to be Sunday, October 22nd, Sunday Night Football.
I can't wait to see that. I wish the Eagles would just.
Yeah, it would be great if the Dolphins just played with no down linemen and the Eagles only tush pushed. Yeah, they could do it.
They could go the length of the field. Where it gets interesting, too, is on third down for the Eagles.
Yeah. Because they know if it's third and six, they have to get four yards.
Right. And then they'll run the tush push.
So they can run the ball when it's third and six, third and five. Most teams are passing that situation.
It makes everything different. And Max, like, I think it's a fun play to watch.
I know you like it because it's like it's man football organized mass it's just cool it's a cool play let him do it not new tom brady's was when tom brady would do that play it was like 100 success yeah that was my point about justin herbert in the brandon staley fourth down call just do that play yeah like it will work for everyone uh maybe not kyler murray but everyone no actually kyler murray probably. He's so small.
Maybe the defense gets a really tiny guy that runs underneath people's legs. Yeah.
And right into Jalen Hurts' knee. So, Max, how are we feeling about the Eagles overall? Yeah, I mean, that was a boring game.
That was just a take-care-of-business game. Red zone looked bad, but Hurts still doesn't look exactly like I want Hurts to look, but the run game is amazing.
The defense is amazing. And Jalen Carter is an absolute beast.
Jalen Carter is so good. He's very good.
It's so fucked up that the Eagles got Jalen Carter. And on draft night, it was the most.
Yeah, it is. People are starting to blame the Bears for that.
I mean, I said that after week one. He would not be playing right now for the Bears.
They're so dysfunctional. It would be worse than what it is now? Yeah.
Because he probably wouldn't be on the roster. He probably would have quit football.
He'd been like, I'm not around here. I played at Georgia.
This isn't a real football team. It's just disgusting that the Eagles got their mitts on them.
Everybody knew it was going to happen. And then when it happened, we're like, how did this happen? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. We knew.
The plan was always for them to get quarter. It's not fair.
It's the best. I know people are doing the retroactive draft takes.
I saw the one today that the Lions letting go or they trade DeAndre Swift. They let him go.
They traded him for like a third or fourth or something. Right.
And so people were basically saying, imagine Jalen Carter on this Lions defense. Like that is what they need.
Someone like that yeah the eagles just have an embarrassment of riches do you max do you want to say anything publicly about the fact that you were watching the game on stream and our co-worker steven chase said that he wants jalen hurts hurt he wants to see him get hurt and you didn't bitch slap him not very philly like of you i should have slapped him it was absolutely disrespectful to say about my guys. I know what you're going to say.
What? I'm just going to say it first. What? I'm going to do the eight mile.
I know what I said about Patrick Mahomes. Oh, yeah.
You did say you wanted Patrick Mahomes to tear his ACL. That was in the moment.
I didn't want Patrick Mahomes to be hurt long term, but I didn't want him to play. That's not true.
Not true. I didn't want him to play the game you just said that you said I hope he turns his ACL I never said that yeah you just said it never said you just said it like five seconds ago what you just am I going insane no he said I did say I wanted Patrick Mahomes tears ACL I didn't say tears ACL I said I wanted to get hurt you just said that I don't think I said tears it might have slipped but you said it what is going on did I say ACL I don't think I said ACL I said he didn't even hurt his ACL Oh, Big Cat said ACO.
I said I wanted him to get hurt. You just said that.
I don't think I said tear his ACL. You might have slipped, but you said it.
What is going on here? Did I say ACL? I don't think I said ACL. I said ACL.
He didn't even hurt his ACL. Oh, Big Cat said ACL.
I said ACL. So did Max.
Mahomes hurt his ankle. But you wanted him to tear his ACL.
Yeah, you wanted him more hurt. I don't think I ever said that.
Okay. This is gaslighting.
This is gaslighting. Max, what about the play calling on that first drive? You think that was Nick Sirianni being like, everyone's talking about A.J.
Brown. He was yelling at people on the sidelines last week.
Let's force feed the ball to A.J. Brown.
I mean, he absolutely ate on the first. Like, A.J.
Brown is a good player. You get the ball in the hands of a good player.
I don't care what happened last week. Like, people who are like, oh, yeah, you're just trying to force A.J.
Brown. Yes, you have A.J.
Brown on your team. You want A.J.
Brown to have the ball. Much much like eight mile I'm just going to get ahead of it and say congrats Max on beating the commanders by at least 25 points this weekend no I mean our offensive line can't block shit I think Sam Howell is getting pressured 79 percent of the time on his drop backs with that defensive line you guys oh man 30 points minimum don't do that maybe 40 congrats on the blowout.
All right. So other game, Joe Burrow's back.
Kind of. Bengals are back.
Kind of. Didn't look great, but he did say afterwards, he's like, I know what was at risk for my injury, but I also know it was at risk to start 0-3, and that was something I couldn't let happen.
So, yeah, the Bengals, that was a big win for the Bengals because you need Joe Burrow burrow to be healthy but you also got to win games like oh and three in that division would have been a tough tough uphill battle so and i love the all whites it's a big hole all whites were great joe didn't look like himself though he was he was like all over the map not accurate he's thinking about it have you seen like the side by side of his injured leg and his healthy leg yeah his injured leg Kate Moss thin. It's like a bone.
It's very injured. But he did say something after the game that I thought, you know, he doesn't look like Joe Burrow yet, but he said that his defense was balling out.
The Bengals defense looked like the old Bengals defense. And that's the important part because he said, part of the Bengals defense playing the way they are, I can take less risks.
I can know that, you know, I can throw the ball away and put the ball where it can't be, you know, picked off. And you saw a lot of that last night where some of the balls are going out of bounds where he's like, I'm not going to risk this with our defense balling the way they are.
Yeah. And they were.
Sam Hubbard played a hell of a game. Great.
Yeah. Jamar Chase looked good too.
Yeah. It was it.
Get the ball to Jamar Chase. Find Jamar Chase anywhere he is.

Get him the ball downfield.

The offense will look a lot better if you can do that.

He wanted the ball more.

Maybe a Diva?

Diva, yeah.

Jamar on Diva Watch for sure.

I think we just projected that to the point where now we're just seeing –

maybe it's confirmation bias that we're seeing receivers say,

I want the ball more.

A.J. Brown, another one.

Well, if you're a receiver, you probably always want the ball. Again, Diva is not a bad thing.
We want more diva receivers. It makes the league fun.
And if you're that good, you should be a little bit of a diva. Yeah.
And they brought Chad Johnson back, the ultimate diva receiver. Yeah.
Brought him back for this game. Fresh off ringing the bell at the lighthouse last weekend.
Oh, he's doing the tours. He's making the tour.
Yeah. He never wronged the bell.
He just made that up. He said he was going to ring the bell.
Sounds like you guys pulled the carpet out from under him. No.
Legends only. Legends only.
Okay, well, that is a segue. PFT, you want to do a quick ad, and then we'll get into the lighthouse finale? I used to think that sandwiches were just, you know, basic, until I realized how easy it is to level them way up.
It's all about starting with the best ingredients. Lately, I've been obsessed with this sandwich.
Boar's Head Ever-Roast Chicken, a little smoked gouda, arugula, sliced avocado, and a drizzle of balsamic glaze on toasted ciabatta. Just a few simple swaps, and suddenly it feels like something that I'd order at a fancy cafe.
And that's why I always go for Boar's Head. The quality, the craftsmanship, the fresh premium flavors that turn an everyday sandwich into something next level.
So if you're tired of the same old lunch, try upgrading with Boar's Head. Head to the deli counter, grab your favorites, and see just how easy it is to make every bite amazing.
Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Lighthouse.
Finale. For now.
I to ever put a cap on. I mean, it sounds like you've been putting caps on the left and right.
It sounds like you're the one that's capping about the lighthouse. No.
It was a Monday. We were doing all of our games.
If there's one person who's capping about the lighthouse, it's you. It's you.
So who would like to go first? I think you got to go first, Hank. I mean, what is PFT? I mean, I have truth on my side.
I wield the mighty sword of justice and truth. For anyone who's listening to the first episode of Pardon My Take, welcome to the premier lighthouse podcast in America.
Well, we're truth seekers, me personally. Can you set the stage for the new lighthouse, or should I set the stage? I'll set the stage.
The Patriots built the largest lighthouse in the continental US. That's actually not true.
It was discussed, promoted. What do you mean largest? PFT commentator.
It's not my name. Came out of the woodwork and in pure jealousy.
You didn't even give the full story about why they said that the lighthouse. Well, they had a lighthouse there.
Then they built a bigger jumbotron that covered the old lighthouse. So they had to build a bigger lighthouse and said, fuck it.
Let's make the biggest lighthouse in the continental US. Asterisk.
No big deal. Okay.
And then PFT has come out of the woodwork. He's contacting potentially fake military members to get facts, disproving the fact that it's a real lighthouse.
His name is Commander Kroll, and he is a commander in the United States Coast Guard. And you know what? I'm sick.
I'm sick of people forgetting about the Coast Guard. When you ask him, like when you say thank you for your service, when you say, OK, what's your favorite branch of the military? People always talk about the Navy.
They talk about the Air Force. They talk about the Army.
No one ever mentions the United States Coast Guard. They're the real heroes, Hank.
You ever seen an orange helicopter rescuing somebody from a sea?

Yeah.

That's the Coast Guard, my friend.

I love the Coast Guard.

I grew up on the water.

Okay.

So, Hank, without further ado, by the way, if you're watching on the YouTube,

please subscribe because we're trying to get 500,000,

and we want to do that so that we can release the max 5K tape.

Yep.

All right.

Here we go.

White House.

Shout out to Ben Domek.

I don't know how you say his last name.

Thank you. Because we're trying to get 500,000 and we want to do that so that we can release the max 5k tape.
Yep. All right.
Here we go. White House.
Shout out to Ben Domek. I don't know how you say his last name.
Who's that? He's my on field. He's my on field reporter.
I like we said last week, you talked about the mountains and the rivers, and I needed to find someone that could verify some of these facts for me on the ground. Wait, so someone did the work for you? Yes.
No. Yes.
What? I'm not like Jake. I'm not.
No, he doesn't work for Barstool.

I'm not. Where does he work?

I don't know.

What do you mean? You don't know.

What's his area of expertise?

He just helped me. He helped me.

I had to get assistance.

I told you I couldn't go to New England and verify these facts.

So I had to have someone help.

I'm not like Jake. I'm not like Jake.

I actually give people credit for the reports that helped me on.

Where'd you meet this guy?

Thank you. to New England and verify these facts.
So I had to have someone help. Where'd you meet him? I'm not like Jake.
I'm not like Jake. I actually give people credit for the reports that helped me on.
Where'd you meet this guy? Can we just get into the report? Let's start. Is this the editor at large at the Spectator? No, it's a different spelling.
Oh, okay. It's just an AWO, like slitting your DMs and helped you? No, don't worry about it.
Is this guy who has $200,000? Do not worry about it. I think he's Meghan McCain's husband.
Did you get Meghan McCain's husband to come in? Are you getting facts from Meghan McCain? No, it's a different spelling when you Google a name. Oh, Dominic.
Yeah. I was going to say, you brought in a political operative to take us down.
Stick to sports, Hank. You guys should stick to sports.
I'm just trying to verify. I read the name wrong.
So, all right. You know what? Flag.
But the contest hasn't started. So that actually doesn't count.
There's no contest. First, we'll go into the history.
The earliest known lighthouses was built in Egypt over 2,000 years ago. Brad Pitt is an archaeologist.
Gladiators. Found the remains of more than 30 lighthouses built by ancient Romans.
Yeah, but he was in the movie Troy. Basically a Roman.
Which was about Greece. Not Egypt.
Or Rome. Next slide.
Wait, wait. Okay.
This is a great screenshot. This is the factor fiction section of the presentation.
Factor fiction. This is for Big Cat and PFT.
Okay. PFT said these exact words on Friday.
For a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation, it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway. I'm going to say fat.
Yeah, that sounds like something I would say. Now, let me pull up the exact wording.
Pause and put a comma after navigation. Next slide.
Wait, wait, wait. Go back to that, Hank.
Okay. Okay.
Aid to navigate. I'm just pulling this up right now.
I want to make sure that federal law by definition, federal aids to navigation or any Marine aids installed and maintained by the United States coast guard to answer your question. Yes.
The fact sheet that I sent is current for a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation comma. It must be clearly visible from a federal waterway.
Next slide. Introducing my next example.

My next.

What do you call it?

Evidence exhibit exhibit.

Thank you. Next evidence.

Evidence.

Exhibit a like you like lighthouses.

I'm going to build you entire podcast of a lighthouse.

I'm exhibit the Nipponset River.

Ponset River is a river in eastern Massachusetts, the United States.

Its headwaters are at the Nipponset River Reservoir in Foxboro near Gillette Stadium. Wait, how near? Next slide.
And what do you mean headwaters? Yeah, headwaters literally means come. Next slide.
The start of it? The Nepons River is federally funded. This is the Nepons River in Milton, Massachusetts.
This was fun fact just right down the street from our old office in milton okay so walk walk by it every day to go get coffee okay during the construction of gillette stadium the river was relocated to the edge of the property adjacent to the freemingham secondary and dale it you did not write any of this yes i did so wait wait they moved the river so that is gillette stadium actually How do you move? Wait, wait, wait, go back. You just said they relocated the river.
Yeah. How do you move a river? Ever heard of dams? That plugs up a river.
And it moves it. It moves the stream.
Okay. Same technology.
I'm not sure if that's true. He's starting to cook a little bit.
Next slide. That is Gillette Stadium, and that is the Neponset River, a federally funded water.
That's the head of the Neponset River. Go back a couple slides, memes.
It's the head of it. Go back one more, memes.
Two more. A lighthouse to be considered a federal.
It must be clearly visible from a federal waterway. Continue.
Last slide. That is the lighthouse.
And in the distance, not far away at all, is the Neponson River, a federally funded waterway. Okay.
So, Hank, a couple of things here. In conclusion.
One, is this or is this not a view from the lighthouse above? It looks like about three times as high as the lighthouse is of the river. I do not.
That could be someone holding a selfie stick. I am not convinced that you can see that waterway from the top of the lighthouse.
I would like to see evidence about it. I would also like to see evidence you can see the lighthouse from the waterway.
It looks like there's trees there. The picture that you've shared right now, Hank, is fucked up.
That's twice as tall as that stupid fake lighthouse. We need to see a picture from the head of the Neponset River to the lighthouse.
Hank included a picture taken from the Goodyear blimp. Also, this is the reverse angle.
That could be someone on a selfie stick. Hank, you need someone sitting in a boat.
That's what I'm saying. In the river.
Because there's a tree line there. I mean, again, you didn't give me enough time.
You really kind of tried to turn this court case around quickly. You tried to do it on Monday.
Well, I don't have time to go to Massachusetts. But when I do, or if I can get Ben or someone else to help me out, I will prove that you can clearly see the lighthouse from a federally funded waterway, therefore making it a lighthouse officially.
All right. Is this? Was that it? Okay.
So wait. So now I get to respond.
Do you? Yeah. Also, I have a question.
The lighthouse, it looks like it's just the top is lit, but it doesn't actually have the light that you shine out. There's no lights that go out, no.
In fact, they keep it dark almost all the time, which is a safety hazard. For birds, too.
Birds probably fly into that thing all the time. Wait, but what if you're on a boat at the head of the Neponset River, a federally funded waterway, and the lighthouse isn't on?

If there's a shipwreck, then that goes back to New England Patriots.

We need to go wreck a ship.

We should.

We got to go wreck a ship and be like,

we didn't know the land was a mile away.

Okay, I'd like to rebut a couple points made by Henry Lockwood.

Henry, what is your evidence that the N Neponset River is federally funded?

I have the website.

Okay.

Tell me what federally funded means.

I want to know more details about that.

Joe Biden sends a cash app transaction every month to the river.

Different rivers across the country.

It says it right there, though.

It does say, go back one.

Neponset River is federally funded.

Yeah, that's Hank's evidence. That looks like facts.
Neponsetriver.com. Okay.
Oh, it's not .gov. Interesting.
Huh. Interesting, Hank.
Uh-oh. Wow, you really proved my point very succinctly.
Is everything that's federally funded .gov? I don't think so. It just needs to be a federal waterway.
That's all it needs. All right.
So, well, no, there's a couple of things. I'm just scratching the surface here.
By definition, federal aids to navigation are any marine aids installed and maintained by the U.S. Coast Guard.
Did the U.S. Coast Guard install or do they maintain the fake lighthouse at Gillette Stadium? Can we go to the next slide? Yeah, you're not answering.
For a lighthouse to be considered a federal agent navigation, it must be clearly visible from a federal wetland. I do not know the exact details of the construction of the Gillette Stadium lighthouse.
It says it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway. I remain unconvinced.
I remain unconvinced that it's clearly visible from a federal waterway and i looked up which water last slide hank wait i looked up which waters are federally controlled federally controlled waters are waters in which vessels must observe federal requirements do you know what the federal requirements that vessels have to observe when they're on the neponset river are are there any if you're boating can you take a boat out on same as all the other federally no can you take a boat onto the neponset river without observing federal mandates no absolutely not you don't know that that's number one i do uh the waters include they're either the coastal waters the great lakes territorial seas or bodies of water connected directly to one of the above up to a point where the body of water is less than two miles wide. So what that means is if it's connected to the ocean, it still would be a federal body of water until the point where the river is more narrow than two miles wide.
I'm looking at that right now. That doesn't look like it's two miles wide.
Easily two. No, no, that doesn't look like two miles wide to me, Hank.
What's the that distance right there? Do we have it? That's a mile and a half. Okay, well, then it's definitely not too much.
Yeah, it is. What are you talking? No, that's a mile and half per little spoke.
Oh, no, no, no, he's making that up. So now wait, no, no, no, because he's got the stadium on the map to that state.
Are you saying Gillette Stadium is three miles long?

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

It's a big-ass stadium.

So that means that what you're saying right now,

that's 15 miles away from not even the lighthouse?

Yeah, maybe it's two.

I forget.

It might be.

That's why they had to make it the biggest lighthouse in the continental U.S.

It's too far away if you're saying that's one and a half miles each.

Maybe it's half mile.

I forget.

If it's a half mile away, then that would mean that Gillette State say that the football field in New England was a mile and a half long. Yeah, doesn't that how big tracks are? No.
Nope. No.
Some Olympic ones. I think, now I'm more of an impartial observer here.
I think the only way we can conclude this is we need someone sitting in a boat at the head of the Neponset River taking a video with that day's newspaper.

Yeah.

To prove that that lighthouse is helping them navigate.

And also measuring the head of the Neponset River to see if it's more than two miles wide.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a federal.

Okay.

So the good news is the lighthouse saga is not over.

Listen, I'm keeping an open mind about it.

Thank you. two miles wide.
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
I mean, it's a federal. Okay, so the good news is the Lighthouse Saga is not over.

Listen, I'm keeping an open mind about it.

It sounds like you're not.

I am.

I just think that you're very wrong.

I think you're so wrong about this.

I just presented every piece of evidence you could pot.

Like, if this was a jury, I would win 10-0.

You know what?

It's sad.

Disagree. It's sad to me.

10-0, you would win in front of a jury.

You're partial. Yeah.
A 10-person jury? How big are juries? 12. 12.
12-0. Here's the thing, Hank.
It's sad. It's really sad.
I agree. It's very, very sad.
I agree. That a once-proud New England Patriots fan who expected nothing less than Super Bowls every year has reduced themselves to creating a PowerPoint presentation and hiring out slaves to help you make this court case.
Did you pay this person? Instead of talking about football. Pro bono.
Yes. So in the case, this is slavery.
No, it's not. That's how just the law system works.
If you've ever read a book, you would know that. This is very similar.
Again, being a proud Patriots fan, this is par for the for the course people try and take us down they try and make up these rules to flake gate psi fake reports fake u.s coast guard people just trying to tear down the greatest franchise that nfl football has ever seen it's just sad and someone's got to defend it someone's got to defend the wall i've been there before i would go to jail for the lighthouse i would go to jail for tom Brady, I already have. Will you go to jail for the light? Yeah, I would.
And you've got to break it. Someone's got to defend the wall.
I've been there before. I would go to jail for the lighthouse.
I would go to jail for Tom Brady. I already have to go to jail for the light.
Yeah, I would. And you got to break in.
You go to jail for the way. I would break in and take a picture of the deposit river.
I just might. I don't have to break in.
They would welcome me with open arms. I don't think you would go to jail for the White House.
I'm proud of you, Hank, for putting this presentation together, even though you didn't. But I'm proud of you.
I mean, that's. Well, no, the Ben guy did everything.
Who do you think made this presentation? Well, I know that Hank made the slide that has Brad Pitt representing Egypt. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
One of the most famous Egyptians out there. Why are you coming at me for getting help when PFT and his fucking little commander friend don't get any heat.

Interesting.

Well, he went out and went to the source.

Or did that guy DM him? It's called journalism, Hank.

I reached out to the head of the United States Coast Guard to

ask for their official comment on the record.

Sounds like you're.

Yeah, he did.

And so I can't reach out to an expert in the field?

What field of expertise?

What's Ben's qualifications?

White House expert in the field.

Guy who makes PowerPoints. I made this PowerPoint.
You did? All right. Did I take it back? I'm proud of you.
Thank you. I thought that the screenshot that you used was, you're mad.
You're mad. That's not a screenshot you would use if this was a neutral PowerPoint.
Somehow you've wiped the internet clean. I literally typed into Google PFT short, and there wasn't a lot of the good ones.
I could have probably found, I probably could have worked harder to find some better ones, but you've done a good job wiping those out. He was.
It's a little comedic relief. It's sad.
I mean, I tied in the Napanza River. I'm close to the Napanza River.
I've bathed in it. You've bathed in it? Yeah.
You've bathed in it? Yeah. How many times? At least once.

When?

Many times.

I mean, I've gone swimming and cleaning and washing off counts as bathing, right?

Swimming and cleaning?

Yeah, in the Paws River.

You brought soap with you into the Paws River? No, but if you have sand on you.

All right, well, now we have another thing we have to investigate.

If you have sand on you, you're dirty.

What qualifies as bathing?

Jumping in the water is bathing.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we first start to tell lies that's you right now all right so it's so we're to be to be continued again also is this a cartoon illustration it looks oh yeah that looks like it's ai it doesn't look real hank did you you use ai do you think i know how to use ai wait i don't know i Good question. Because let's look.
Let's think about this real quick. It looks like a future stadium.
NFL games this year played in Gillette Stadium. Hank, who have you played? One was at night, and the other was on a rainy day against the Eagles.
That's a sunny day with a full stadium, Hank. This is a fake picture.
No, it's not. Yes, it is.
Unless it was a preseason game, but I don't see preseason crowds like that. Yeah, the trees tell you it's late October.
Wow. Oh, my God.
Hank. Hank, you basically went and got a pamphlet that basically they created for the lighthouse.
Look at this. It's literally typing Gillette Stadiumonza river you can see it i'm not i'm not arguing that you were lazy and choosing your picture that you used a fake picture used a fake picture though it's a rendering a rendering isn't used in a court of law what if i had a rendering of you murdering someone could i be like look at this it's not a fake picture it's a rendering hank that is good catch jake i i'm now taking it back again i do i terrible slideshow this is sad uh disgusting i mean you there's no proof that that's not a real picture who are they playing when was this game played preseason preseason and the trees are turning like that yeah global warming oh oh that's the opposite that would mean that the leaves would would wait a long time to turn.
No, they're getting it. And you also don't think weather's real.
So how can you say global warming? Global warming. You've really botched yourself in here.
That is the fakest picture ever. Look at the concourse.
That's fake. Those are fake.
That's unbelievable. Patriots only home preseason game was at night.
Oh, my God. That's a full stadium scoreboard say it was Texans 20 Patriots 9 that doesn't look like the scene for that that could have been before the Eagles that would mean the Eagles game the Eagles game it was raining and maybe not before the game started well the whole field the stadiums yeah we actually have a good good fan base that show up early.
It was Tom Brady night. And also, the leaves have already turned in the first week of September? Yeah, we went over this.
Global warming. Global warming.
Okay, got it. We did go over this.
It's abbreviating the same. You know what? This is such a bad PowerPoint.
Can you pull up a real picture of Gillette? I'm inclined to give Hank the dub just because it's so depressing. Because I think they're just missing stuff in this picture too, right?

Yeah, I mean, Hank, you... That's tough.

A rendering?

You could render anything.

The slide that said the Ponce River is federally funded

was pretty convincing, though.

Yeah, that was.

Is that the old lighthouse or the new one?

That's the old one.

Nope.

Ariel?

Not even close to right? Oh, man. Hank, this is tough.
Yeah. Just click on one of them.
These are the other angles. Man, I don't see a river.
That's the reverse angle. Okay.
I don't see a lighthouse. That's also the reverse angle.
I don't see a river or lighthouse. That's the old old lighthouse.
That's the old one? It's the lighthouse. You know what? I feel bad for the old lighthouse.
Yeah. It really got shunned.
I think the old one was better than the new one. Okay.
So this is a real picture. And you can see it.
And you can't see the river. Yes, you can.
Where? No, it says Gillette Stadium rendering. Oh, that's the rendering.
Yeah. Oh, there's the exact picture.
Boom. En oh so yeah that lighthouse isn't even real it's yeah it hadn't even been that's a fake you literally found the picture is real they just rendered in a lighthouse i don't understand the difference no it's not yeah it is you think they rendered in the the oh it could have been a New England Revolution game.
Yeah. Full crowd? You can see.
Wait, go back to the one that we found that Hank actually took from the internet there. This one.
Click on this. Click on the article.
Enhance is coming to let's see. That's in 2021.
Wow, Hank. We don't even know if the river is still there.
That's a real picture. They might have did a little bit of Photoshop in.
So it's Photoshop. Like it's a pic.
No, it's a real picture. You just said it's Photoshop.
Interesting. With the additional.
Yeah, with an additional. What is it tough? What do they add in? Lighthouse added.
They added in the lighthouse. This is a tough look, Hank.
I mean, someone's going to send a clear picture from the lighthouse of the river. Oh, we need from the river to the lighthouse.
Here are my terms. Here are my terms for the new england patriots i will stop going on the lighthouse i will actually love the lighthouse if they stop referring to it as a lighthouse yeah because it's not a lighthouse and the fact that they're putting out press releases saying it's the biggest lighthouse in america it is which is woe woe be unto the good people of cape hatteras who have an actual lighthouse that they've looked after for hundreds of years.
You know how many lighthouse tenders have lived and died in that place? You know how much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into maintaining the Cape Hatteras lighthouse? And then you just come in one day and your billionaire owner takes a break from banging his 25-year-old girlfriend or massage therapist. And he decides he's going to spend money.
I'm sorry, I'm heated. he decides he's going to throw money at the problem and make a lighthouse taking away all the credit that should belong to the real lighthouses the real lighthouse keepers that built this fucking country and made it safe for international commerce to exist and meanwhile you come in and just you you turn your nose up at it you're like i'm a'm a patriot.
I'm the best. We're the best franchise.

We can do a better lighthouse.

Fuck off.

Admit it's not a real lighthouse.

And then I will back off.

That was passionate.

You don't have that type of passion.

What do you mean?

New England, it's not just a one.

We're not better than all the other football teams. We're not just one state.

We're not just one city.

We represent an entire lighthouses.

We represent an entire.

Oh, look at this.

See, this is bullshit. They're taking valor.
Yes. That's the official New England Patriots propaganda sports business journal.
Yeah, that the Patriots sent to them sports business journal. Oh, man.
We've got we got to. I mean, we need what? What does that asterisk say right there, Hank? Oh, there's an asterisk.
It says not. Not a functioning.
We spent all this time and they just tweeted it out. All this research.
But it's still bullshit that it literally says it right there. Tallest US lighthouses.
That's a fact. Oh, man.
Well, I would like to see a picture from the river. Yeah, I want to see that, too.
Yeah, I would. And I'm still undecided on buying a lighthouse.
I am undecided on whether I'll help you buy a lighthouse.

That's what I know.

Actually, no, I'm not undecided on that.

If you do, I will match.

Okay.

All right.

So $44,000 each?

Yeah.

We got to know the upkeep.

That's the only thing.

I think there's probably a significant amount of upkeep that goes into a lighthouse.

Yeah.

I'm excited to see the analytics of skips during this section all right well let's get back to the show you know what the commanders are about to buy the land are about to use the land where old rfk stadium used to be lighthouse right next to the potomac river and the anacostia river we could actually build a a bigger lighthouse. We should just buy some land.
And yeah, we should buy some land near the Mississippi River. Yeah.
And build a lighthouse. Yeah.
And have it be the tallest lighthouse. We should do that.
Okay. All right.
So to be continued again. Sure.
We need the picture. We need the picture.
You've presented some facts that slide that said Neponset River federally funded waterway was compelling. So what does this say? The top of the lighthouse stretches seven flights of steps above the stadium's highest concourse, even on a gloomy day.
Boston skyline more than 20 miles away is visible in the distance. Okay.
So you can see real buildings from it. But can they see back? They can't see back.
No. We got to find out if they can see back.
They can't. All right.
Let's get back to our regular scheduled program to be continued on the lighthouse. Great work all around.
That was fascinating stuff. I mean, I ran into an intellectual Titan in Henry Lockwood.
So it's a pleasure to debate. Ple Pleasure to debate, Hank.
It is Megan. I just spelled this name wrong.
What? It is. Yeah.
Oh, it was Megan. It literally is.
How did you get? I got sources. Don't worry about it.
He just hit you up and was like, let me help you defeat the lighthouse. No, I was just like, who do I know? That's a good journalist.
That's great. Well, shout out Ben.
He did a great work. I mean, that was great work.

Again, I don't think you did any of it.

He did all of it.

Can we go to slide five, please, memes?

That's so funny that you didn't spell the person's name correct.

Slide five says the Neponset River is federally funded.

Is that the river they used to jump into when you were hung over?

Not that spot, but yeah, that river all right hot seat chill throat hi hi it's rigs from foreplay and you know what is back it's pga tour 2k25 that's right it's time to tee it up in iconic pga tour events the first look is a free-to-play demo experience of pga tour 2k25 releasing ahead of the full game launch players can experience the new swing mechanics get a look at upgraded visuals and start their 2k25 journey plus have all of your progress carry over to the full pga tour 2k25 game try pga tour 2k25 first look for free now on ps5 xbox series s and x and Steam. Okay, Hot Seat, Chill Throne, Hank.
Let me pull up my notes. Are these your notes or someone else's? I mean, they're always my notes.
You know me. They're not anymore.
Hot Seat is myself. Yeah, I agree.
Not for anything Lighthouse related, but I did start declaring that I'm going to find a big 10 team this fall, uh, going on Saturdays, picking a different team every week. Then about three weeks in, well, I had a bachelor party Labor Day weekend.
And then I went out the first two Saturdays of the week, uh, fall and realized, remembered that I never used to go out on Saturdays because being hung over Sundays is the worst, this show. And so I've kind of just put a pause on the Big Ten fandom.
Why don't you just not drink? I, we've talked about this before. I am not fully capable.
Like, I'm not there yet. Just go beers only.
But beers only. Like, once I get a couple beers with me, I want to have, like, you know, 20 beers with me.
So are you... I So are you? I'm not like that type of person.
I can just go out. I can just not go out and not drink.
But I can't go out and then not drink. You can not go out.
You can not go out. I have no problem not going out.
Yeah, yeah. No, I understand that.
If you're in a bar, you're going to drink. Yes.
Yeah. So are you due on this? No.
But then we have surviving bar stool. And then.
That's why it's on pause. That's why I'm on the hot seat.
But I feel like you have to do one this weekend. Why? Because you're going to run out of time.
This basketball season. Oh, okay.
So this is going to. It's on pause.
I put myself on the hot seat. I put myself on the hot seat.
It was a good idea. I was here this summer, maybe not working as much as I was.
And I was meeting all these people, all these different Big Ten schools. Like, oh, I know I want to I want to find a Big Ten team to root for.
Didn't factor in football season. Yeah, you did say you muttered under your breath on Sunday.
You're like, I forgot I used to not drink on Saturdays. Yeah, the last like four years, like I was always a big Friday night guy kind of recover, and then you're good for Sunday.
Going from the bachelor party, which obviously took a lot- Wait, you would get drunk on a weekday? Yeah, I mean, that's because we work on Sundays, so it's like kind of different. You got to make your weekdays the weekends.
But yeah, just having the three consecutive Sundays where I wanted to die was not good. So for the betterment of myself.
Hey, can I make a suggestion? Yes. Why don't you just do noon games and then you go home after the noon games? I tried that twice.
Or no, I tried that once. Day drinking is fun.
And then it leads to night drinking. Yeah.
But the best is going out watching the early games. True.
Watch them at a bar. And then you watch the first half of the second games.
You order Uber E eats and then you just chill out on your couch and you're fine yeah i mean i just i that's definitely an option i just have kind of you know with surviving parcel coming up i was like i want to get my mind right i want to get my mentals on point two weeks ahead this is uh it's great watching hank battle adulthood because if you remember last week when i complimented him i was like you're really grown up and then after we finished taping that show he texted the group text chat like 20 minutes later he's like does anyone know where my wallet is yeah it was here no i just fell out of my pocket he got locked out twice yeah and then lost his wallet yeah i mean listen it's a battle it's a rivalry right now you gotta get a win you're getting a win right now i'm trying to be an adult yeah all right you're cool you're chill thrown i'm trying to beat you know i can't i can't fool myself that's you know some people can be i just go out for a little bit go out don't go out go out for a couple hours and it's like yeah i can't me for me it's like anything over two beers might as well get blacked out yeah yeah yeah because you're just you're feeling it the next day no matter what. And then it's like, you know, obviously it's not a hard job.

But watching football on stream, like there's nothing better than being hung over and just lying on your couch kind of half dead.

Watching football, eating, maybe fall asleep for the late games.

Like you can't really do that here.

So it's like you're just like just mentally in a torture chamber.

People think that this job is easy.

No.

It's not.

It's not easy to watch football all day.

And my cool throne is Jim Tomsula. Oh, yeah.
He's mine, too. Well, I got him first.
No, I'm glad. I'm glad.
His European football team, he led his European football team to a 14-0 championship season where they won each game by an average of 27 points. What team is that? It's a German team.
Yeah. What team? Do you know? It's the four aces.
The Ryan fire. Oh, run fire.
Yeah. So perfect season.

Who's ever had one of those.

Have you ever had one of those perfect season?

Nope.

Who's on the four aces?

Dustin Johnson,

Paparez,

Peter Uline.

Oh no.

Patrick Reed.

There you go.

Good job.

Good job.

It was nice to see Jim Tomstula celebrate.

Yes.

He looked all wet and happy. He looked awesome.
Yeah. Okay.
PFT, your hot seat, chill throat. My hot seat is golfers.
Golfers this weekend over in Europe. Because have you guys seen the fairway videos that are coming out? The fairway rough videos? Yeah.
I saw our guy, Dan Rappaport. He kind of disputed it.
He's trying to debunk it, but that was only one hole of the course. And by debunking it, he further went to show like, oh, if you miss the fairway by five yards, it's not that bad.
If you miss it by seven yards, then you're basically in a rainforest. Yes.
It looks bad. It's penal.
I can't wait. It is penal.
It is penal. It's penal grounds.
Big time penal. It's perverted over in Italy, and it is penal.
It's at the Marco Simone golf course. I actually went to their Google reviews to read what the feedback from the public has been.
So this is prior to them hosting the Ryder Cup. I found one one-star review that said, I played there two weeks ago.
My son was locked in a bathroom for 45 minutes. Faulty lock, no cell reception.
After finally finding him and getting a maintenance guy to open the door, had to get to the first tee, the kid was traumatized. The manager didn't care about our experience, even told me afterwards he wasn't even sure there was a problem with the lock.
So the bathrooms will take you alive over there. So if you've got bad butt issues and you're playing in the Ryder Cup, Max, just keep it easy.
Just like boiled rice, boiled ground beef like a sick dog. Make sure that your stomach is okay.
And then my cool throne was going to be Jim Tomsula, but instead I'll make a double golf. Charlie Woods.
Yeah. Just won a tournament.
Charlie won a tournament. First of many.
Probably not even his first. Probably his like hundredth.
For sure. But right now he's on pace to win 40 majors.
True. Which is pretty incredible.
Is that good? And Tiger was on the bag. Yeah.
He was on his bag. Love that.
Walking. Interesting.
People were like, he's walking again. Yeah.
So, Charlie, keep doing what you're doing, buddy. Yeah.
All right. My hot seat.
I got a couple. Big Ben and Jerome Bennett.
Did you see this clip, Nick? Maybe the funniest, like, cell phone of all time. Big Ben and Jerome Bettis did you see this clip? maybe the funniest cell phone of all time Big Ben and Jerome Bettis were talking about I think the 2004 AFC Championship game and they're like the Patriots cheated and they told the story that they had a hand signal to run counter to flip their play and the Patriots had figured out their hand signal because Jerome Bettis was like, we had this hand signal back in the day.
We ran all the time. So not really like cheating.
Just you. They knew it.
They called a timeout. The Patriots called a timeout and then set up to stop the counter.
And the Steelers still ran the same play and stopped it. And so it was quite the clip.
They basically just kept on telling the story saying the Patriots cheated and the whole time it was Jerome Bettis essentially saying yeah we're so dumb we had the same hand signal and then we ran the same play after a timeout and we're so dumb we don't respect the river it's 10 miles away it was so great because Big Ben was like yeah they cheated there was another great clip from that when Big Ben explained how he got the nickname Big Ben. Oh.
Do you guys know? No. You might think it's because he's a big guy and his name is Ben.
But apparently when he was in college, they ran a Hail Mary play and they called the play Big Ben. And scored a touchdown so everyone started to call him Big Ben.
I don't think it's ever occurred to Big Ben that maybe they named the play Big Ben because their're a big quarterback. His job was to just go back and throw the ball as far as he could.
Yeah. He's like, I'm not even a big guy.
Yeah. He's like, come on.
I don't know how people think I'm big, but I'm actually not. It's just the name.
And then my other hot seat is Aaron Rodgers because I think I have rented his head. He mentioned me on the Pat McAfee show when I think they were talking about Jordan Love.
Like some people online saying that aaron rogers support of jordan love is fake and aaron rogers like oh is that big cat looks like looks like it's flipped was that you he's no it wasn't i said i said it's fucked up that jordan love is good but you never said that you think he's no i said it's fucked up jordan love's good because it's not fair faking the support that was never you no no did you think it no actually I didn't yeah no I actually didn't I actually think that might be genuine okay I'm gonna rule that you are living his head in in Aaron Rodgers head for sure yeah yeah so nice nice little flip there uh my cool throne is uh Tyree Cale because he came out today and said that uh when he ret, he wants to just kind of get out of the limelight and enjoy his retirement in peace and also be a porn star. Okay.
I like that. So, yeah, he wants to be a porn star.
That's what Miami will do to you. Yeah.
Yeah. He said, I think he's on a Twitch stream or something.
He said this. So, yeah, tune in.
I would watch. Yeah.
I would watch. He's very fast.
To be honest here, I would watch. Everyone here in this room would watch and don't pretend you wouldn't.
You'd want to see how he fucks. The hips must go like a mile a minute.
Fast switch muscles. Like a drill bit.
Yeah. He's like a hummingbird.
Yeah. Woodpecker.
Girl's just going to have a bruise on her pubic bone. Yeah.
And then my other cool throne is the White Sox, who are running $1 Thursday. I think it's either their last home game or close to it.
$1 to get in. There's actually talk about Cubs fans taking over because they're playing the Marlins, and the Cubs need the Marlins to lose.
But a reporter asked about it because it's the middle of the day, and it a one o'clock game uh or sorry one dollar game he said if you can't get off work but want to buy a ticket to thursday's one dollar white socks game i just confirmed with the team that you can bring your laptop into the ballpark but not your laptop back so you just carry just your computer in there you know what they should do if they want people to attend game they like, tonight is official, don't get shot night. Yeah.
Well, this is... I just want to see some people just walking with their laptop, because that's an awkward feeling when you don't have a bag for your laptop.
Yeah. Because you just feel the whole time like, I'm going to drop this.
As far as end of the year promotions go, I don't know that bring your laptop to the park is as good as bark at the park night, which is... I've seen a couple of those happen.
I fucking love bark at the park nights. They did one, I think the Mets did one the other night.
Yeah. And they did the Simba cam where people were just holding their dogs up.
They should do that every night. Dogs should be welcome in stadiums.
Yes. All right, Jake, your hot seat, chill throat.
My hot seat is Zach Wilson for two reasons. One, the Jets brought in Trevor simian yes ride the sibian and number two uh joe namath just verbally destroyed zach wilson's confidence but on the flip side robert salah came out and he said what did he say oh yeah he said he's our guy right no not i think he even went further uh and said like he's not the reason we lost yeah well he's not the only not the only reason, but he's a pretty big one.
He's a pretty big reason. So Joe Namath said on the Michael K show, I don't know why we're trusting this again, because I got duped a few weeks ago.
Oh, man. But this is from Joe Namath's mouth.
I don't believe in him. I don't believe he has a future as a good player.
And I think they made the wrong choice when they drafted him. Tell us how you really feel.
Going out on a limb. He's a thrower, not a passer.
Damn. Come here, Suzy.
I want to kiss you. Yeah.
Give me a kiss, Suzy. That's probably not great.
Probably not great. Not great.
But the fact that they're bringing in Simeon, the Jets need to have a reality check, I think, because they're trying to bring in some competition without making Zach Wilson actually have his feelings hurt. Right.
So they're getting players that are not going to be a threat to him. And they're like, here, we're just getting you some support.
That's all. You need to get him an actual replacement.
Also, Zach Wilson, what you should simply do is point out that I believe you have better stats than Joe Namath. because people forget that Joe Namath was actually under .500 as a quarterback and also had significantly more interceptions than touchdowns.
So Zach Wilson, this is probably going to be ugly, but let's look it up. Zach Wilson is 17 touchdowns to 22 interceptions.
17 to 22. And Joe Namath is is let's see joe nameth is 173 to 220 i feel like zach wilson has a better ratio okay so that's 0.77 what was the other one uh joe nameth yeah 173 to 220.
Joe Namath is

worse. Yeah.

So point it out, Zach. By 0.01%.
Get his ass. Also, this Sunday, we get the official Billy football goal because it's Zach Wilson versus Patrick Mahomes.
Oh, yeah. Actually, wait.
Passing of the torch. I'm dumb at math.
I think Zach Wilson is 0.01% worse than Joe Nam Okay. So throw a touchdown, Zach, and no interceptions.
And then you'll be better. Yeah.
My chill throne is rivalries. Allegedly the New Mexico State quarterback.
What, when we lost to the orange squeeze? Orlando. Orlando squeeze.
The New Mexico State quarterback allegedly pissed on New Mexico's logo. I like that.
I like it. Good.
Love it. Yeah.
Literal piss. Pissed on the Lobo? Logo.
Well, Lobo the logo. Oh, whoa.
Lobo the logo. Lobo the logo.
CD just skipped there. Lobo the logo.
So Jerry Kill is the New Mexico State head coach. He's one of my favorite characters in golf's college football because football almost killed him.
Was he the guy that ate ice cream on the side of it? No, that was Dilly Bardin. Okay.
Who looks like Jerry Kill. Jerry Kill, football was giving him seizures.
So he had to retire because he was like, if I keep coaching football, I'm going to die. But now he's back.
Rivalry gone too far is the caption on that video. I think that's perfect.
I think it's good for college football. Also, Jerry Kill was an all-time.
I love when teams' mascots look like their head coaches. He did look like a gopher.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's the best thing. Coach K looks like the Duke Blue Devil.
And then the old head coach for the Penn State basketball team. Who was that? He looked like a nitty line.
He had white hair, short guy. I love when that happens.
It's very fun. It's like 101 Dalmatians where you end up looking like your dog.
Do you remember his name? Max? Oh, no, Villanova basketball. Oh, that's interesting.
Max gets Villanova basketball.

Dick Carter.

No, Villanova doesn't have a.

They have a football team.

Not an FBS team.

I don't know.

Whatever his name was.

Dick Carter.

I don't know.

Dick Carter.

Yeah, that was their coach until.

What's your mouth, Jake?

I don't think that was his name. Shut up, Bluetooth.
Jake, how do you not know this? You're the college basketball guy. I'm sorry.
I don't know that one. It was like Pat.
Oh, Pat Chambers. Yeah, Pat Chambers.
Oh, okay. I didn't realize that.
Pat Mycock. I get credit for that.
I got you. Pat Mycock.
Hank is on fire today. Yeah, kind of.
I like it. Hank's got his...
Ever since the trial, he's been good. Yeah, he's been good.
All right, let's get to our interview. We've got Andy Staples.
He's brought to you by our friends at Body Armor. Time for Andy Staples and shout out to Body Armor.
Body Armor helps us stay hydrated throughout our interviews with the biggest guests in the world. Packed with electrolytes and no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or dyes, Body Armor hydrates the best athletes in the world and more importantly, us during interviews.
Body Armor is available in stores nationwide. You can head over now to Body Armor store on Amazon and get yours today.
We love Body Armor. We're drinking all the time.
They have great flavors. Their water is great.
Great, great bottles of water because they're big and they got the wide mouth yep so body armor is available in stores nationwide but you can head over now to body armor store on amazon and get yours today here he is andy staples okay we now welcome on a very special guest our good friend andy staples you can find him on three sports the Andy Staples. You can find him on 3 Sports, the Andy Staples Show.
You can find it on podcast, YouTube, everywhere. We talk college football on Wednesdays, so it's perfect that you were here in person to talk about college football and everything that's happening.
It's been a very exciting year. I want to start with this.
Is this the most aggrieved people have been in college football in terms of coaches players we have it everywhere ryan day calling out lou holtz colorado colorado getting

oregon releasing a a tape where colorado's being like call you know call the national guard we're

gonna kill some ducks all these things everyone's got a gripe kirby smart getting upset because

georgia fans aren't loud enough like jimbo fisher trying to hit a guy on a fumble return. Yeah, it's like he wasn't trying to hit the guy.
I'm disappointed in Jimbo. You've got to break down on that.
Yeah, but the motivation has been out of control, real or perceived, and it feels like everyone's mad at someone. Even we forgot to mention Michigan, the week one, pretending that Jim Harbaugh died.
Right. And doing the free Harbaugh.
Four's up. What's going on right now? It's great.
It is great. It's pro wrestling.
Yes. That's exactly what it is.
I recorded the open for my show tomorrow or tonight, and that is what it is. This is pro wrestling.
I started watching that wrestler show on Netflix. Yeah.
Yeah, Matt guy yeah exactly i was listening to al snow talk about okay you you gotta you gotta put the the baby face over you gotta have the heel get heat that's exactly what's happening so dan lanning used deon sanders to put himself over and deon allowed dan lanning to get over yeah that terminology, that's exactly. And Dan Lanning said it yesterday.
He's like, what Dion's doing is great. He's bringing so many eyeballs to the sport.
Think about this. When Oregon dropped that video on Monday night, all we in the college football universe were talking about was Oregon.
And you can say, well, see, you're doing that because of Colorado. Yes, we are.
But now we're talking about Oregon. Yes.
And we're going to be talking about Oregon. And we're like about was Oregon and and you can say well see you're doing that because of Colorado yes we are but now we're talking about Oregon yes and and we're gonna be talking about Oregon we're like oh my god Oregon plays Washington soon that's gonna be amazing yeah it's good for everybody it is it is it's it's well I did like the Dan Lanning clip I mentioned it Oregon fans got mad but like his clip where he's like we're about wins not clicks He was doing it in front of ESPN camera.
And also, again, I think it's Oregon. You have a board.
Well, not in Times Square. They're in a grammar.
See, I can't remember what neighborhood. Oh, yeah.
I think in that game, they were wearing special cleats that change colors depending on like their mood or organs. The original all sizzle, no steak team.
They're the ones we always said we always said, well, they just go fast and wear fancy uniforms. They don't actually play football.
But now they've got these giant 300-pound dudes like Josh Connerly who, yeah, oh yeah, they can play football too. Also, wasn't Lanning doing that for clicks? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He's doing it in front of a camera, which, again, I liked Dan Lanning a lot, but it was funny because every coach should be trying to do things for clicks because it gets recruits and it gets your name out there. Also, it's the entertainment business.
Right. Like, if you aren't Kirby Smart or Nick Saban, well, I guess not.
Ryan Day does it too now. But if you're not them, be entertaining.
Like, if you're like Dave Doran at NC State wins like eight, nine games every year.

Imagine if he was fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's true.

Yeah.

So what about Ryan Day?

I feel like if we're doing the wrestling analogy, he might have worked himself into a shoot against Lou Holtz.

It was a work that became a shoot.

Lou Holtz is at home being like, look at you all emotional right now.

Oh my God.

What would it come up for Lou Holtz to be relevant?

Here's the thing.

That's not the guy you target, but Ryan day needed someone to say that out loud yeah to hang his argument on because you know ryan day hears that every day of his life you've turned ohio state soft woody hayes is rolling over in his grave like he hears it every day so he wanted a chance to say, here, stick that up your ass.

Like, we needed a yard.

We got it against 10 guys.

But we got it.

Yes.

Yeah, no.

Twice.

Twice.

They got it twice.

Twice against 10 guys.

So with the Lou Holtz thing, I almost hope that Ryan Day continues to go after Lou Holtz.

I hope after every single game that he has, he's like, hey, Lou Holtz, where you at? Where you at, Lou? I hope Lou starts attending Ohio State games. He hangs him in an effigy.
Yeah, sitting up in a booth, like giving him a thumbs down. Let's remember the circumstances that Lou Holtz interviewed.
That's on the McAfee show. I'm blanking on which member of the toxic table does the- I think it was Ty.
Ty. Ty Schmidt does the dead-on Lou Holtz impression.
Yes. He's in latex.
He's interviewing Lou Holtz as Lou Holtz.

Right.

First of all, I've done radio with Lou Holtz before.

He is exactly what you think he'd be.

This was back when Jacoby Brissett was playing for NC State,

and he called him Jacoby Brisket multiple times.

And I just kept giggling, and he didn't know why.

But it's amazing that that's the guy you target. Like, oh, I'm going to get him.
I'm going to show him. Okay, you don't need to show Lou Holtz.
You need to show James Franklin and Jim Harbaugh. Yeah.
Because that's who you need to worry about. And that is the concern.
Because what we saw Notre Dame doing to Ohio State's defense late in the second half were that the more they ran the ball, the better they got at running the ball. The Michigan method.
Sounds a lot like Michigan. And I guarantee you that's what James Franklin's looking at and going, okay, here's how I'm going to attack them too.
And oh, by the way, Kyle McCord is awesome when he's got time to throw. When they brought some pressure, that's a problem.
So when you're playing against Abdul Carter and Chop Robinson in a few weeks, there will be pressure. So you were in South Bend, though, and you just mentioned before we started interviewing that you talked to Marcus Freeman.
Yes, yesterday. You got 10 minutes from Marcus Freeman.
Nine minutes. He's still standing.
Is he standing by the fact that he didn't want to cause a penalty for his team? And that's why he didn't run a guy out there? I don't't know if you're familiar with the arrow paradox andy but the arrow paradox says that you can divide anything in half enough times and it'll never get to zero so he did want to cause a penalty what he didn't want to cause was a free play so i got the full explanation of that it's so if you don't want to go very in the weeds you might want to skip 15 seconds forward but here here's what happened so they they did not find out right after that second down play because if it's right after the second down play which was an incomplete pass you just run somebody on the field they found out as Ohio State is lined up ready to go and so the ball's on the far hash down in the end zone the coach can't go past the 30 so he's like we can't run somebody on because they won't make it across the line of scrimmage in time. They'll snap it.
Free play. And it's a free play.
You just drop the flag and the play goes on. So even if you stop them, then you have to stop them again.
The only way to do it is to get one of your defensive players to touch an offensive player. Yeah.
And they had no way because it's too loud. So they have now created a signal.
So the cornerback nearest their sideline from now on, there will be a signal to that guy you need it touch the receiver get the officials attention so my theory is he didn't want to get a an 11th guy on there because the 10 guys on defense and the gaping hole where ohio state was right there touchdown covers up for the fact that they called a pass play on second down when they had the ball and didn't let they easily could have had Ohio State. Ohio State could have been sitting there with no timeouts.
40 seconds or a timeout. And that one play that actually almost got picked off.
Yes. Which was crazy.
That coaching decision gets lost in the shuffle because of the 10 guys on field. If we're assigning blame to things, that's way worse.
It's crazy. Than the 10 guys on the the field because i remember i was i'm standing around the field and i'm looking at the clock and i'm i'm bad at math but i'm like subtracting 40 seconds from the clock or subtracting a timeout like how did you how do you not just hand that off there it's it's also i think that what happens now is we get confused because there is the idea that in football you don't want to play to to you know what is it what's the saying you want to play to win not play to not lose right but that's a situation like that's to me more like three minutes left run your offense that was clearly a just do the math and figure out a way to have them have no timeouts and the littlest amount you're also running the ball well right if yeah's a loaded box, but a screen against a loaded box is the same problem as a handoff.
Right. It's a loaded box.
Right. Right.
And it almost got picked off. That's me.
There is a sliding scale on that. Right.
Obviously, at the end of a game, victory formation, you're playing to not lose. Right.
You're not trying to do anything. You're like, okay, we've got to win.
You're right. The further away from the end of the game it is, the more it is the more aggressive you can take yeah like four minutes left i get it you don't want to turtle and just run the ball into the line and then punt but when you were in that spot where it's like a minute and a half left and you can literally just do the math and be like how can we get them to have no timeouts right because it's going to be a lot harder and and it ended up costing them they ran 15 plays yeah i know.
So, yeah, they had a minute 26 when they got the ball back. It's crazy.
And they would have had one fewer timeout or 40 seconds less than that. So what is that? That's 46 seconds.
Yeah. That's good math.
It's crazy. What about Sam Hartman? Pretty boy? Too pretty to play football? He is hot.
That running play in the first half just if he had cut back a little bit extended the ball he wasn't he wasn't built to run sam was built to throw but soft i will no not soft he was in that he's in that slow mesh at wake that's yeah no that one scared the slow mesh scared watch watch sam hartman yeah versus say a young college quarterback like sam hartman there could be a defender three inches from his face. He's just standing there ready to throw the ball.
And you see a freshman, they're bailing. They're freaking out.
He does not care. He will stand there and get clobbered and still get the ball away.
The slow match at Wake is the scariest offense. Well, I asked him.
You're just like, dude, get rid of the ball. What are you doing? I asked Mitch Griffiths, who's their new starting quarterback like how do you deal with that he's like you just get used to it yeah like but there's there's three 300 pound dudes like five inches from your face right now it's fine and they would just wait till the very last second so Notre Dame let's let's finish with Notre Dame in this that felt like it could have been obviously the biggest win for Marcus Freeman it also could have been like oh not passing of the torch, but it does feel Ohio State has been in that upper echelon of programs, Notre Dame right below it, where it's like Notre Dame's very good year in and year out, but they can't beat the top four or five programs in the country, and that was their moment to do it.
They can still go to the playoff if they run the table. What do you think in terms of Notre Dame your vibe of being around the program like headed in the right direction or was that one where it's like fuck the same old same old like can't beat the big dog no they're definitely headed in the right direction I think getting Sam helps in that respect but I mean elite offensive line their freshman running backs are really good like they and then they have some freshman receivers that can play marcus freeman since he's gotten there has upgraded the talent they've got to upgrade it a little more on the d line i think that's the the really important place that that they're missing right now where they're pretty good but they could be really good but i feel like they are deeper and more talented than they ever were in the brian kelly era yeah and it feels like the nil era and and freeman just make that easier to do than it used to be because they they're a transfer destination as well as for the grad transfer yeah because guys who've been in college three four years are smart you know and they look at the big picture and they say oh my god if i'm a star at notre dame i'm gonna make'm going to make bank.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like you don't want to go there. You don't want to go to Notre Dame to have fun.
You're like your freshman. No, it's a year.
Yeah. It's like grad school.
Yeah. Instant job.
Exactly. If you're a Notre Dame.
Yeah. So Sam Hartman obviously changed it because my theory with Notre Dame was they've just never been able to get that elite, elite quarterback.
Right. And now they have it.
So let's see if they can run the table. Yeah, I mean, it's going to be – it's fun when Notre Dame's in the mix.
So I have another program, Alabama. We buried Alabama.
Yep. Unfortunately for us, we didn't look at the schedule because they are going to win the SEC West.
LSU is going to give them a little challenge. Yeah, that's in Tuscaloosa.
Their two hardest games are Tennessee games are Tennessee by week LSU, both at Tuscaloosa. Right.
What like what's going on in Alabama? I went to the game against Texas and the guys I was in the I was in their suite and they were just like, how do we not have a quarterback? This is crazy. What's going on program wise for Alabama? They didn't have a quarterback.
The offensive line isn't as good as it usually is. That's really it right there in a nutshell.
And now that they've decided on Jalen Milrow as their quarterback and they're actually building an offense around and running plays that work for him, I think that's going to help them going forward because I think what they were doing early in the season is, well, we don't know if it's going to be Milrow or Ty Simpson or Tyler Buckner. So we're just going to, we're going to call an offense that would kind of work for all of them.
It doesn't work. And it's clear Simpson and Buckner aren't really the guys.
So now you use Milrow, who is a very athletic guy, very fast, good runner, but he throws a great deep ball. The problem with him is intermediate stuff.
So figure out how to work that best. You've got a good defense and then if the offensive line does get better your backs are very good and you keep like against Ole Miss they were not having the greatest success running the ball but they kept running the ball and Ole Miss never could take advantage of that so against other teams they're going to have success running the ball and it's good it's going to look a lot like the Alabama of old, where they just steamrolled you.
And you don't get completely blown out. You get beat like 28-7.
But it's going to feel like you were hopeless the entire game. You're not going to have the ball at all.
Yeah, so Lane Kiffin might have also worked himself into a shoot. Did you hear what he said about the defense? I loved it.
He said, like, I saw something in the defense. That's not their coordinator calling the plays.
It's somebody else's. I can see his fingerprints all over it.
He does it every year. That's what we like to call throwing a lit match in the Alabama football facility.
Not a smart idea. No.
And so, yeah, he said, oh, it looks like Traveris Robinson, who we played against when he was at South Carolina, not Kevin Steele, who we played against when he was at Auburn. Nick came back on Monday and he's like, you know, Mississippi State,

we feel like they're a bigger challenge than the last game we played

because they're aggressive on defense.

And it's just like, oh, twist the knife.

I love that Lane Kiffin does this every Alabama week where he'll talk some shit,

but then he'll also be like Nick Saban's the GOAT. So he basically walks away a winwin it's either he's talk shitting backing up or he lost to the goat yeah but we we know he likes to troll them yeah but you gotta win one you gotta win one it's and it's getting the stat i saw what is it one in 18 against teams that eventually won nine games yeah so you gotta start beating those teams yeah i don't get why it.
It's almost like he's like, I'm not afraid to punch a hornet's nest again. It's the dumbest thing ever.
It's one thing to say it, back it up. And that style isn't really built to beat Alabama.
That offense they play, you've got to be perfect almost to beat Alabama with that. And I saw their fans are like, well, how do we approach this game differently? You don't because this is who you are.
Right. But the problem is you're you're a bad style matchup for Alabama.
Yeah. Texas.
Let's stay in the SEC. We kind of talked ourselves out of Texas a little bit by the transitive property of Alabama having a down game against USF.
We're like, wait, did we Texas back ourselves after that win against Alabama?

But now since it looks like Alabama's good,

I think the pendulum for us has swung back.

Now Texas is legit again.

You think they're legit, legit college football playoff legit?

I think they're very good.

Now, they've got to beat Oklahoma,

but I look at what they did against Baylor,

and I almost am more impressed with that than I am with Alabama because Texas always got up for those games like Alabama. It was the games that they're supposed to win that they come out flat, but they kicked the crap out of Baylor.
And like this week, they got an undefeated Kansas come in, and Jalen Daniels looks amazing. But this is a team, and it kind of started at the end of last year with Kansas, where Texas started playing those games like they meant something.
And now, I don't think they're going to take Kansas lightly. They used to.
Texas used to always over Kansas. Yeah, they lost to them two years ago.
They lost to them, you know, Charlie Strong's last year. So it is possible, but I just think they're going to keep showing up.
the difference with texas this year versus texas really since 2009 is there are legitimate nfl players on both sides of the line of scrimmage to vondre sweat byron murphy alfred collins on that d line those guys are going to be top three round picks in the nfl um you know their left tackle kelvin banks he's going to be a first round pick in 2025.

There's legit NFL talent on the rest of the offensive line.

JT Sanders is tight end, is usually the best skill position player on the field.

Like, that's not what they've had.

They always got great recruits, but they never developed them in anything.

Now they've developed them and these dudes can play.

So does a one loss Texas team, do they make the college football playoff i think so i think so it really depends on what happens everywhere else it happens pack 12 i feel like is the big question mark listen the pack 12 is so deep it's crazy 12 and one pack 12 champ better make the play better yeah because you know they'll cannibalize oh yeah but it is crazy how good the pack 12 it's it like it's awesome to see and sucks to see at the same time. Because this is it.
But Washington is just demolishing everyone they played. I love them so much.
They're so much fun. I did.
I did. It was probably a mistake.
But you know what I did? I looked at their schedule and I was like, oh, they don't have to go to Utah. That was it.
That was the only thing. I picked Oregon to win the league, and I'm sticking by that.
Now, I could be proven hilariously wrong when they go to Seattle, but I think that's going to be a great – it was a great game last year. Yeah, it was a great game last year.
And so Utah is the wild card in that because what happens if Cam Rising comes back? Because their defense is good enough to play with anybody, but their offense will not be able to hold up against Oregon or USC or Washington unless Cam Rising comes back. Kyle Whittingham said after the UCLA game, he said that's the best my defense ever played.
And he's been there a long-ass time with some really good defenses. Yeah, I mean, that's a 7-7 game if not for a pick six.
Yeah. So, I mean, it was – They suffocated him.
And that UCLA team can move the ball. Yeah.
So, I'm just – it really sucks that this is it because this is what they were pointing toward this is what they've been working toward i know and then like i don't think this is going to be as fun with utah trying to win the big 12 title and with washington and oregon trying to you know they'll play each other but it's but it's for where wherever they are within the big 10 yeah like relative to ohio state Penn State. I don't know how much fun that's going to be.
Counterpoint the Big Ten's back because as the standings right now, I think six out of the top nine teams are Big Ten teams, are future Big Ten teams. The ones they grabbed? Yeah.
Because even UCLA is better than they have been, but the other three that they're grabbing from the Pac-12 are awesome and probably will will say that, like, obviously Caleb Williams won't play in the Big Ten, but Lincoln always has a quarterback. Yeah.
I trust Dan Lanning to stock the roster at Oregon. Kalen DeBoer, because they're moving to the Big Ten, I don't know that anybody's going to try to poach him from Washington.
Right. I think now he can be at Washington as long as he wants and not feel like, oh, there's somewhere else out there where I have a better chance to win a national title.
Yeah. We got to go to a game at Washington too.
It's so fun. It's beautiful.
Stadium's beautiful. Yeah.
Tailgate scene is actually very underrated. Oh yeah.
They got, you can take the boats in after sail gating. You got the team, the rowing team like picks you up and rows you to the stadium.
It's been, it's a lot like sec football in terms of the tailgate scene. It's just different types of fish.
Exactly. Salmon and catfish.
Yeah, crawfish. Yeah, you're moving away from redfish and red snapper and all that.
But, yeah, no, I think Washington is so much fun, and I'm so happy for Michael Penix Jr. Because this is a guy who had three season-ending injuries at Indiana, and you thought, oh, he's never going to be able to really have a good college career.
And he's been incredible. Yeah, he's been insane.
Their offense is insane. So if you had to predict right now who's coming out of the Pac-12, because it is – all these teams are going to have to play each other.
I think USC obviously is a little bit easier because they don't have to play the entire whatever it is north. Yeah.
But who do you do you have coming out of the pack 12 i've still got oregon yeah i i like them because i like the way they're built on the lines of scrimmage it started with christobal but then landing has come in and just improved it you know they they went and got josh connerly away from usc is a you know five-star recruit it came down to them in oregon he's their left tackle now they go get jordan birch out of the transfer portal former five-star guy who was at South Carolina like I like when people have special offensive and defensive linemen my motto is the people with the best big people always win yeah so I'm sticking with Oregon okay I like that the uh yeah the patch I mean we didn't even mention Washington State is electric Kim Ward is awesome yeah that I wasn't even bummed out when like was bummed out that the Badgers lost to Washington State, but I also, it was

different than last year. I respected the

fuck out of Washington. I knew they were a really good team.

I was driving to South Bend on Friday night

from here, and

I almost texted you

as Wisconsin's beating up on Purdue

to say, maybe Washington State's just a

wagon. They are.
Yeah, like,

I seriously don't see that as a bad loss. Like, they very very good team and Cam Ward is a problem like he's a problem to guard yeah and Jake Dickert's done a great job there and I I appreciate that he keeps putting the screws to everybody like hey you left us behind but look at what we do look at how we show up look at how we play look at our fan base and i don't know that it that it amounts to anything tangible in terms of conference affiliation but i am enjoying them rubbing everybody's face in it what are they going to do are they going to i mean the smart move would be keep the pac-12 brand right and just make the mountain west the pac-12 that's what i would that's what i've been saying since all that happened since you saw cal and stanford go to the acc is yeah you keep the pack 12 name intellectual property ncaa tournament money all that stuff and then you merge with the mountain west let the mountain west people run it but you call it the pack 14 or whatever because the brand's stronger right and it's their it is their brand like they court and the other Pac-12 schools can't do squat.
Like they have, basically they are the board of directors. Yeah.
It's so funny that the other schools would be like, no, you can't have this after they leave. Oh, they were going to be like, we're going to take a little bit of money to help ourselves move into these new conferences.
Washington State and Oregon State are like, no, absolutely not. This is like Dave and Caller Daddy.
Yeah, exactly. They should get the merch rights to the Pac-12.
What if Dave just played the first game of the Pac-12 season next year is just Dave on a football field? But the law that I'm hoping for that would be so funny is I saw someone tweeted out, I can't remember who it was, but basically Washington State and Oregon State have two years where they could just have. For two years.
Yes. And no one could do anything about it.
Does the winner get an automatic berth? No. And like in NCAA parlance, you do it based on do you get a bid to the basketball tournament? You actually have to have five teams to get the automatic bid to the basketball tournament.
So they'd have to do something. But I would love it if they just were the pack two.
You've got to be the two-pack. Yeah two-pack.
Like, just have the two-pack hologram as your commissioner. Yeah, just play like five times.
Yes. No, just play once, but in Vegas.
Yeah. Why not? Oh, that'd be so funny.
Put the Pac-12 championship field out in Vegas and just play on it. Gonzaga now is playing in a real conference.
Yes. So congratulations

to them. Alright, so

give us your final four because before

the season started, you had Colorado

in all four spots. I did.

I was in on Dion early.

The one I had in one of my

four spots was Clemson, I am ashamed

to say, and then they lost to Duke

and they put up a fight against

Florida State, but yeah, they're going to need to ret retool their strategy I had a question about yeah go ahead at what point does Dabo like Keon Coleman from Florida State who lit up LSU who is a transfer from Michigan State at what point does Dabo watch these guys beat him and he's like hey this transfer portal thing that might actually be an asset I will give you an even better example of that. What if Keon Coleman were on Clemson instead of Florida State? Who wins the game? Clemson.
Exactly. One player.
Yes. And so with Dabo, I know he doesn't want to do it.
Continuity is something that they use to their benefit for a long time. They had a period of four years where they only lost seven players to attrition.
So like getting kicked off the team or just leaving. And that's why they were winning so much.
But the world has changed. You make recruiting mistakes, you can't cover them.
You have to develop somebody out of that if you're not going to just grab out of the portal. They could still do this where they have people who leave because they're not playing very much.
So they have the spots. So three, four spots a year.
Right. Imagine if Clemson, with all these future NFL players, says, hey, want to fill our one gaping hole here? Everybody in the portal is going to want to be there.
Right. So I don't think he has to change that much.
I think it's doable. It's just not fixable this year.
It's also insane to me that you wouldn't use the portal specifically for the offensive line because you can go out and get like a 23-year-old who's got man strength. A grown-ass man who will be a boy most times.
Right. It's like, why wouldn't you do that instead of getting a kid who, yeah, you'll project to be a great offensive lineman, but he's probably 40 pounds too light when he comes on campus.
Like, these are the things that it feels very easy, but Dabo isbo is resistant to change yeah because he worries he's going to mess up the culture and the chemistry of the team but i think if it's if it's one or two three guys a year in really key spots i don't think you're messing anything up right because that type of person and you'll have you'll have your choice you can pick someone right who's about what you want them to be about.

Yeah.

You know what also helps the culture is winning football games.

That helps too.

And playing in big football games.

Yes.

That will bring the guys together nicely, I think.

So my other three of my four are still kicking.

Georgia was one, which we'll see.

I mean, they're not going to lose until the SEC championship game.

I don't think they're going to be challenged.

I watched the halftime video from the South Carolina game. They're down 14-3, and Carson Beck's just winking at the camera like, no, they're not getting beat.
I have Penn State coming out of Big Ten. I like that.
I think their defense is out of this world good. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And then I still, now I don't know. I had Oregon, but now I don't know if I should have Texas there.
Yeah. And that's the problem.
I find it very hard to wrap my brain around that I have become a believer in Texas as quickly. Because I was a big Texas skeptic for a long, long time.
But again, going back to my the best big people win theory, that's Texas. Yeah, it sucks.
We don't have a 12 team playoff this year. This is the year because you have the teams that all will like there will be a two loss team probably out of the Pac-12 or even the Big Ten where you're like that team could compete for a national.
And I did. We're going to do this on the show every Monday for the rest of the year where we project what the 12-team playoff would have looked like.
And so I had Penn State winning the Big Ten, and I had Michigan and Ohio State both also making it. I had like a Michigan-Alabama first-round matchup in Ann Arbor.
I mean, come on. I'm so dumb.
I fucking love fake brackets. You could do a fake bracket across any sport, and I would just imagine that game in my head and be like, it's like the high-speed rail map that goes viral all the time.
I was looking at it and being like, oh, that'd be sweet. I could get from New York to D.C.
in an hour and a half. And you know what's going to happen next year, because we've had years like this where it's like there's two great teams and everyone else sucks.
Next year we'll probably have where it's like, why are we doing a 12-team playoff? The 12-team sucks and all that. This is the year.
It's much like the Pac-12. Our timing is off.
My favorite is everybody just getting pissed at me. Why is Fresno State in there? I'm like, because somebody has to be in there from the group of five.
I would love to see Fresno State play in it. I would, too.
Hey. They've been awesome.
They shut out Arizona State and USC did not. Yeah.
They have been lights out. We're going to get back to Andy in a second.
He's brought to you by our good friends over at the Farmer's Dog. I love the Farmer's Dog.
Blake absolutely loves the Farmer's Dog. He houses his food.
He's never been this excited to eat, and he's doing great, putting on weight, getting big, growing strong, growing healthy. And I think that the Farmer's Dog has a lot to do with it.
The results of switching your dog's food from kibble to fresh can seem like magic. When a senior dog starts acting like a puppy again and the pickiest of eaters can't wait for dinner time, you might think some spells were cast.
True story, Blake would eat like maybe a quarter of his dinner. They'd wander around the house for a little bit, get disinterested.
I'd have to lead him back. Not anymore.
He loves his farmer's dog food, eats it all in one sitting. The farmer's dog doesn't use any sorcery or secret ingredients to make their fresh food.
They just use science. But the farmer's dog makes and delivers fresh, healthy dog food.
It's developed by vets, it's nutritionally balanced, and it's made from real healthy ingredients to human food safety standards. It's the best option for dogs at all life stages because it's not kibble.
It's not canned goo. It's just real healthy food.
Traditional dry and wet food dog options are highly processed, can use much lower quality ingredients than they claim to, and they're extremely difficult to portion accurately. The farmer's dog isn't just fresh, high quality food.
They also send the food pre-portioned specifically for your dog based on their unique nutritional needs. It's super easy.
It just arrives at my door. I don't have to worry about monitoring the dog food bag, seeing when he's about to run out, going out to the store, get new dog food, driving back with it.
Don't have to worry about any of that stuff with the farmer's dog. They send it directly to your door and it's always on time.
A fresh diet has been found to have all sorts of benefits from healthier coat and skin to better breath, even easier digestion and smaller, better poops. His poops are great, super easy to pick up.
A healthy diet isn't just important for humans. It's also important for dogs.
It doesn't matter if they're young or old. It's always the right time to begin investing in their health.
Help them live a healthy, happy and full life along with you. and you can get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at thefarmersdog.com slash PMT.
That's 50% off, half off, plus you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash PMT, and boom, 50% off.
That's thefarmersdog.com slash PMT. And now more Andy Staples.
All right, so, I mean, this has been a great college football season. We do want to talk about Colorado.
Now, I wasn't surprised by the Dion hate that's coming. Right.
And it's coming hard and fast right now. And he even said he did a little bit of a to go to college basketball.
He did a little bit of a Dan Hurley like come get us now because we're never going to be this bad i appreciated that i like that a lot but uh overall like the sentiment you talk to coaches you talk to administrators how does everyone feel about colorado is it a you know rising tides lifts all boats or people like we kind of hate this guy no they like him now okay they realize they like and there was a lot of kind of side-eyeing of dion throughout the offseason because of the way he handled the roster flip. They did not like him kicking people off the team.
I think they didn't like him kicking people off the team on camera because everybody else does that. That's right.
You said the quiet part out loud. Except Dabo.
This happens across the sport. Deion was just up front and very, very blunt, maybe overly blunt about it.
Yeah. Like making it very clear from his first day there, like you guys are not going to be here.
But here's the thing. On Saturday on NBC in prime time, there was an Ohio State Notre Dame game.
Crazy. That came down to the final play.
More people watched a dog shit Oregon, Colorado game that was over on the first play yep more people watch that than the Notre Dame Ohio State game I was wrong I gotta give Casey credit uh she said she predicted yeah she did and I was like no way yeah she she was on she was our guest picker on my show last week and she said that on my show and I'm like come on yeah I had the same reaction I was like no fucking way and then there the ratings come out and it's like how is this possible well and imagine this week yeah big noon kickoff so 10 a.m local I know they're gonna be the wake and bake factor in Boulder is gonna be incredible yeah but Caleb Williams against this offense or against this defense and now Shador Sanders should be able to do a little better against USC's defense than he did against Oregon. So, like, I think for college football, it would be great if USC struggles with Colorado.
If Colorado gives them a game, that is great for the sport. If USC beats them 55 to 10, then we may not pay much attention to Colorado the rest of the year.
Now, I agree with Deion. They will be much better.
Yeah. Because that's one of those things where the casual fan may sort of disappear for a little while, but they're still working.
And here's the thing about Dion, and this is the part I don't think the haters of Dion get. Dion is one of the few people who is that level of a former player, who is willing to do the things you have to do and work the way you have to work to be a good college head coach.

He's good at talent acquisition, he's good at motivation,

and he's good at organization slash hiring assistants.

Do you know who I just described?

Urban Meyer and Dabo Sweeney.

I was going to say, not Herm Edwards.

No, but Urban Meyer and Dabo Sweeney,

neither of whom were primary play callers at any stretch

before they became head coaches and won national titles because they're great at getting good players great at motivating them and they're great at hiring assistants shout out my guy sean lewis that's exactly right badger yeah exactly right and sean lewis can turn this into a better head coaching job than he would have gotten as kent state's coach yeah and and so like i i did a story with sean last year when they were in that stretch he was ken state's head coach and they had a stretch where they had to play at washington at oklahoma at georgia so they were always beat to hell by the time they got to mac play and he just he would everybody knew he was a good coach but he you could never sell that higher if you're a power five program because they were never going to have the right record for it if he's the OC at Colorado and he's masking their deficiencies while also creating an offense that is functional against decent defenses. Yeah.
Everybody notices that. And he goes lightning fast.
That was his thing at Kent state. What does Colorado have to do to get better next year? Bigger people on defense? Bigger.
It's all the big people. But here's the thing.
Dion already started that. So thatado state game when they got little wayne leading them out of the tunnel when they got the rock there they had like an alabama d tackle commit they had you know big time offensive line recruits there and he's telling him you can play next year and the difference between them and the places those guys normally go alabama Ohio State, LSU, you can't play right away probably in Alabama, Ohio State, or LSU.
You're going to have to work your way into it. At Colorado, you can step right in and play, and you may struggle a little bit, but if you're that talented, you're going to be pretty good by the end of the season.
And I still think, Deion, the ace up his sleeve that he has that no one else has is he was like if you watched his career especially at Florida State and coming out of the draft he was NIL before oh yeah like a player first and you know I need to be paid in the cornerback position doesn't get talked about so he can sit in all these living rooms and be like my goal is to get your kid to the to the league and to get him paid and that's the thing I don't think people understand because the people who don't like Deion think he's just doing this for attention. He could get attention doing anything.
Right. He wants to be a coach.
And he wants to be a good one. He started at high school level.
Yeah. Went to Jackson State.
And it's funny because I'm like, how come you guys never talk about prime prep? I'm like, prime prep got dissected. Dion shouldn't run a school.
Like Dion shouldn't be the president of the university of Colorado. I think we learned that, but he can coach the football team.
What do you think about, about, uh, members of the media calling them coach prime? So do you call him coach prime? It's a little weird. I don't know what I, I don't know what I call it on the on the broadcast what i call him neon and so there's some coaches i call coach and then there's some coaches i call by their first and then there's no rhyme or reason to it because sometimes like if they're like marcus freeman's younger than me so i'm not going to call him coach like yeah he's marcus but some of the older guys i'm just like well you look like somebody who might have coached me back in the day so i call it and then so i grew up in a house with a you know a dad who was a high school assistant coach and so i was around high school football practices growing up and those people all of them call each other coach yeah like they don't use names and sometimes they just speak in the language of coach like it's sort of like i am groot yeah basically you based on tone you know what they're saying coach coach coach it's hard for me like talking about culture all the time the problem with dion is that he's a first name guy he's like shack like when you say coach sanders i'm like who are you talking about how about prime what if i just called him prime do you think that would make him mad i think he should just be coach dion is what, like, when you say Deion, you think of Deion Sanders.
Absolutely. But you don't think of his last name.
When you say Shaq, you think of Shaquille O'Neal. Like, if Shaq was a coach, Coach O'Neal would sound weird.
That would sound very strange. Right.
So he's a first-name guy. Coach Diesel? Coach Diesel, yeah.
I had a friend that wanted to name his son Coach. Because then they get immediate respect from respect from everybody that they talk to.
I don't know. I like it when they name him like President.
I think that's the perfect one or Colonel. Yeah.
Give him a title like a military title. Florida State had a guy named Mr.
Alexander. That's the ultimate in respect.
You're always Mr. Yeah, and the coach's wife is always Miss and then the first name whatever that might might be um all right so this weekend we got some good games lsu mississippi can lane win one of those yeah i don't know i don't know i it's weird i have i've almost given up trying to predict what lsu will do because i thought they'd struggle in starkville and they went and just bomb mississippi state and like oh well arkansas Arkansas just lost to BYU they're gonna struggle covering these LSU receivers they did but I didn't think Arkansas would be able to score on LSU the way they were and that was just this back and forth thing so I I think LSU should be able to win this game I think they're they're just better up front than Ole Miss but again it seems like everything I pick with LSU is wrong yeah what about ahead.
I was going to say the battle of the nerds, Notre Dame Duke. Yes.
Which asshole fan base is going to be happier this weekend? See, I don't feel like Duke football fans are like that. They're the same people.
They're the same. They are, but they are.
This is what I struggle with. It's like when LeBron was in Cleveland, I was like, no, Cavs fans and Browns fans aren't the same.
No, they're not the same. They are, but they aren't.
Yeah, no, Duke basketball is – I imagine Duke basketball fans as a Duke basketball fan has a Duke sticker, a New York Yankee sticker, and an Alabama sticker on his car at the same time. It's actually Hank, and he's a Duke Patriots fan and a Cowboys fan.
So it's a star, a lighthouse. I had to get the lighthouse.
I'm sorry. I don't know how much more lighthouse talk there will be on this is a lot yeah this is so but now i so i think the duke like i love the duke football story because i think mike elko has done a great job riley leonard is awesome this is not the week they want to be playing notre dame like they they were probably praying yeah that notre dame stopped ohio state and was going to come in all fat happy.
Because I was at South Bend yesterday. I talked to Audrick Estame last night.
They are bounced back, and they're pissed. Pissed off.
Yeah. They need to get Holtz to give them a pregame speech.
All right, man. I think you can call Duke soft.
Although Duke's not soft. No, they're not.
We saw them play Clemson. They ain't soft.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. So my last question, I had the Roback question.
RHOBACK.com. Use promo code TAKE.
20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything.
Roback.com. Promo code TAKE.
Are you wearing Roback right now? I am. You are.
You're a Roback athlete. Performance hoodie, baby.
Yes. Okay.
So we talked about all the big dogs. What is a team that you've got your eye on that you're like, ooh, this could be something.
Something's happening here. They might not make the college football playoff, but we could be talking about them at the end of the season as either a spoiler or 10-win team, New Year's Day Bowl, something like that.
Miami. Ooh, yeah.
Miami's been. I'll go back to my big people thing.
Like Like go to the beginning of the season, ACC media days, Mario Cristobal is there and he's usually pretty hard on his offensive line. Like he doesn't say nice things about his offensive line unless he feels really good about it.
And he was singing the praises. Yeah.
And then you saw them against A&M and they protected Tyler Van Dyke very well. They've been able to run the ball on everybody.
And like, cause I couldn't figure out with A&M, could they not get a pass rush going? Could they not tackle? Or was it maybe Miami's just pretty good? And then you see A&M against Auburn, and they just shut Auburn down. So I'm thinking maybe Miami's pretty good.
And Miami's got Florida State, obviously still. There's a Miami-North Carolina game that could be a lot of fun.
Drake May. So, yeah, Francis Maui Noah.
That's the name you need to know. The right tackle from Miami.
He's a true freshman. Mario Cristobal says he has the greatest muscle density of any offensive lineman that has ever come through Miami, which I actually believe Mario Cristobal probably keeps that stat.
That's a great quote. I love it when coaches talk about players like their horses.
Yeah. The cupboard was bare in Miami when he got there.
They did not have dudes. Well, they've got a tackle who's been hurt, who started, I believe, 36 games in his career.
And once he comes back, that's great for depth, but they're doing great. That group has improved quite a bit.
And if you could improve on the line of scrimmage that dramatically, you're a very different team than what we saw last year. Like Miami, they got their asses beat by Florida State last year.
That was embarrassing. I don't think they're that team anymore.
I love it. Miami being back is a great thing for college football.
I got one last question. Who do you think the best team just off the top of your head in the Sunbelt conferences this year? Sunbelt.
When you think Sunbelt. Well, well, PFT, I know you're obviously talking about Sean Elliott's Georgia State Panthers there with.
Overrated. They, you know, they got Chad Staggs, who'd been the DC at Coastal Carolina.
I was thinking about that. You know, you know, I know my Sunbelt ball.
Of course, it's JMU. That's right.
And the NCAA is still screwing them. It's fucked up.
They could go undefeated this year and they won't get a bowl. And it's wrong.
It's nuts. It's wrong.
It's very, very party, though. It's very, very stupid.
Yeah. I mean, this college football season, I'm I just am so happy that there's it feels like we have so many good quarterbacks to like, I mean, the Pac-12 alone.
But I think we're going to get this from now on because guys transferring guys transferring in NIL like Sam Hartman, nix and michael pennix jr all could be the nfl right now they probably were going to make the same amount of money or more going back to college right and so you see them go back for another year i don't know that it changes their draft stock like michael pennix's medicals will be what they will be right but he will be a legend at washington forever i like this speech because everyone you know there's a lot of older college football fans that have the hand ringing about the NIL and the game has changed, transfer portal. We are going to get to see guys.
I've told this story before, but it really hit me when week one, I bet on Louisiana Tech and I turn on the game and I fucking bet on Hank Barber. I was like, what the fuck? How do I get away from this guy? But at least I know the names and it's kind of cool.
Well, and we're going to see it in college basketball. I know you're a big college basketball guy.
You're going to see more people stay. And kind of like when we were kids, when we actually knew who was on each team.
Football is going to be even more like that. The difference is we may not know who's on each team.
We're going to know the players and they're going to to pop around. Right, I'm going to know what team they're on.
Yeah, but that's fine. Like, quarterbacks is long.
Listen, the quarterback dad complex, they make them do eighth grade twice so that they're the right age and all that. You got to make sure they graduate in three years.
That way, you get that free transfer, and then you get unlimited transfers so you can JT Daniels it and go to four different schools. He's on Rice now.
He's everywhere. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I like seeing even the Badgers with Tanner Mordecai.
It's fun watching him play. I knew he was good watching him at SMU, and now he's fun.
Big Cat, I'm telling you right now, they get a little more team speed in there, and I know Luke Fickle's going to do that. I know that's going to be a priority in the offseason.
That offense is going to rip got i got ahead of myself in the preseason shocker for anyone who listens to this show i would never do that uh but i've i've taken a longer term approach where it's like you can't even like a deon who went three and oh but you can see that it's not you can't flip an entire team and make them at these big dog levels right away.

Tamper with the best slot receiver on every Sunbelt team.

Okay.

All right.

And just collect.

Yeah, just be like, hey, you ever think you want to make up a T-shirt?

Because you know those dudes are fast.

You want to get on the bar?

They're probably like, well, Dre Archer played in the MAC,

but he's from Florida.

But there's a Dre Archer out there who could be a star

in that offense at Wisconsin. Okay.
All right. Yeah.
You ever think about making some t-shirts? Yeah. I did.
That's Caleb Williams. Probably the most regrettable deal.
I was like, dude, we can make so many good t-shirts. Didn't, didn't respond.
Caleb Williams. People understand like Caleb Williams parents have been setting him up to be the number one pick in the NFL draft since he was like eight years old.
Do they realize that it's going to be the Bears? I think they're okay with that. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
I know that they threw out there that he might stay. He's not staying.
I spent all summer trying not to text you. I don't think the Fields thing is going to work out.
I don't want to burst your balloon. No, no, no.
This is before all that. But no, he's just trying not to play the Cardinals.
Yeah. Because the Cardinals, they drafted Josh Rosen, threw him in the trash.
They draft Kyler, and they're already abandoning and tanking. So it will be the most hilarious thing in the world if the Bears, thanks to trading for that Panthers pick, and they get him.
Yeah. Because the Cardinals are trying to suck and not doing as good a job as a bear.
Get me excited. How can't miss is Kale Williams is the most can't miss since Trevor Lawrence or Andrew luck.
Okay. Because the man makes magic.
Like he's met and the things that he can do that are magical are not things that you can't do in the NFL. Right.
Cause you see, you'll see quarterbacks in college who do amazing things, but you're like, oh, the first time he gets hit by NFL players, he's going to break in half. Right.
Caleb Williams is an eyes down field. Yep.
The things I do that are magic are in service of throwing the ball down the field. Right.
It's Mahomes-esque. Yes.
Very similar, different arm angles, that sort of thing. And here's the thing.
Whoever gets the number two pick.

Also the Bears.

Drake May.

Well, they should draft both and have a competition.

I'm saying that.

Run two quarterbacks in the same offense.

Yeah, because Drake May is going to be good in the NFL too.

Do the old Lloyd Carr.

Yeah.

Just switch back and forth.

It is very exciting to see this because these two are so much fun to watch.

And any other year, if Caleb Williams wasn't there, Drake May would be so obviously the number one pick in the draft. But Caleb is so – I knew when Caleb was a freshman at Oklahoma, that game against Kansas where there's the fourth down play and his back's got the ball but he's not to the line to gain yet and Caleb just steals it from him.
Yes, yes. He just has these instincts that nobody else has.
Yeah, special. Yeah, special.
Okay, I'm excited now. Well, Andy, everyone go check out Andy on three network.
You can find him on YouTube podcast. How many podcasts a week? You doing three six right now? Yeah, during the season.
Holy shit. We don't play around.
Damn. I don't know.
I just I would talk about this with my friends anyway, so I may as well just turn the mic on. Do you look at having conversations with people like, this is wasted time right now? Exactly.
I could be podcasting. We could be recording this.
These words could be monetized. Yes, I'm very transactional like that.
Do you ever find yourself missing Ari reminding you that stars matter? Oh, yeah. Ari Wasserman, my former co-host at The Athletic, always reminded me.
But here's the thing. Here's what people don't get about that.
When I got hired at Sports Illustrated in 2008, it was to cover recruiting. Right.
So I've always known that stars matter. But he, to his credit, he branded it well.
It's funny that people are now figuring it out. Like, hey, the best recruits, the best recruiting class will be the team that wins the national championship.
What I love is when people get so get so mad about it. People want in their minds to believe that a team full of gritty three stars can win on hard alone.
Yep. Absolutely not.
Give me a six foot seven, 350 pound guy who played basketball until his junior year of high school and only played football for a year. But now he's a third year junior and he's dominating everyone yeah or like right after the draft when they talk about how many three stars there were it's like yeah but like 90 of the five stars got drafted right right there's 32 five stars a year and there's 2000 three stars right yeah right who's in charge of the star system well we our guys uh charles power at on three he he's the one who ultimately decides what stars you get and the politics of all that.
I feel so bad for those guys. And they're trying their best, but they've got the players hitting them up, the parents hitting them up, the coaches hitting them up.
It's a weird deal. It's such a weird little subsection of sports that people who love college football understand and no one else knows exists but it's the most intense because you get that dude who is convinced he's a five star and he can't get that fifth star he will be just all over you until you get it and i i feel for those guys because they are fielding those phone calls and those dms constantly just constant links to their huddle tapes and all that shit yeah yeah well i get the huddle tape sometimes too and that that's fun because like the uh so i i when i was at florida jacques green was there and jacques is a high school coach in in bradenton florida now he's got a kid named uh ian who i can't remember his last name but his nickname is big chicken he's a d tackle and i don't that.
And I don't know where he falls in the star system. I think he's younger anyway.
But I just love that he's named Big Chicken, and he's this giant dude who squats like 600 pounds. Yeah, it makes it pop.
So thank you, Big Chicken, for sending me your huddle tape. Yes.
Shout out Big Chicken. Yes, shout out Big Chicken.
Marietta, Georgia, the Big Chicken. Yeah, they do.
The's a big... I knew a guy from there.
I think that's where Sean McVay's from. Is it the biggest KFC? It's just a big fucking chicken that they have on the side.
It's a roadside attraction. Yeah.
But it's funny. We talk about it like it's this podunk.
Marietta, Georgia, is like suburban, suburban Atlanta. Because that's what the big boss man in WWF.
Yes. He's a correctional officer from Cobb County, Georgia, which makes it sound like he's out in the country.
Oh, no. It's the most suburban of suburban.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Well, Andy, thank you as always.
You are the best. Great to see you in person.
Hopefully, next time you come visit us, our new office will be open. And hopefully, you'll have like 70 extra pounds because you look too good.
Yeah, he does look too good. Listen, I will count calories with anybody who wants to count.
Me and Cole Kubelik's my calorie counting buddy now from the SEC network. My wife got me on it like two years ago and just put it in there and it works.
When I said I was losing weight, well, I don't know, the 20 millionth time I said I was going to lose weight like two years ago, Andy texted me. He's like, all you got to do is you got to get your Apple watch setting and you got to burn 1500 calories a day and I was like okay okay this will be easy and then I went and I went to the gym for like an hour and it was like you've burned 350 calories you can't walk on the treadmill you know it was it the 34 30 that's so many calories you burn every day well I don't burn that many every day but I count all the ones I eat okay and that's so what that does is it keeps you like when you would just grab a bag of potato chips before every day you never do that again yeah because you're like this is 300 calories that i will never you think about how long that is on the treadmill yeah i was golfing with big cat the other day actually the writer cup video just came out today beautiful and his watch went off on the second hole.
It was like 10 AM.

It was like,

congratulations.

Your exercise ring is close.

It was like,

all I do is walk around.

I had somebody text me about that.

Cause they were trying to get into it.

They're like,

they send me their,

their rings and their,

their goal was 500 calories a day.

I'm like,

dude,

you just do that breathing.

Yeah.

Move up a little on a Sunday.

I don't even come close to that.

All right.

Well,

Andy,

thank you as always.

And we'll definitely have you back on before the season's over. My pleasure.
Thanks, Andy. Andy Staples is brought to you by Bushmills.
Did you know that the Bushmills distillery is the world's oldest? It's the oldest whiskey distillery in the world. They came first.
Bushmills Irish whiskey. Bushmills earned a license to distill in 1608 from King James I.
There were other licenses to distill whiskey that were granted around Ireland, but none of those distillers have survived. Only Bushmills has survived until today.
Not only is it the oldest, but Bushmills has been making single malt whiskey longer than anyone. The best of both worlds, Bushmills is a smooth, triple distilled Irish whiskey, but with the complexity of a single malt, which is why Bushmills is Ireland's most awarded single malt whiskey.
You can chart your own course with Bushmills. We had some out in the golf course the other day.
So tasty. It fueled Hank and my furious comeback during the silent scramble.
Things didn't turn around for us until we had a little Bushmills in our body. Then boom, we're shooting lights out.
Bushmills is awesome. It tastes so good.
Bushmills, I'd like, can you send me some Bushmills? I will drink it. I will drink Bushmills.
I love it so much. Bushmills, the official whiskey of the PGA Tour.
Bushmills, the official whiskey of the PGA Tour. And now here's one question with a fullback with Andrew Beck.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Houston Texans fullback Andrew Beck for one question with the fullback.
So we're all going to ask a question, then you get a question. I'll start your punt return, or sorry, kick return this weekend.
So for people who missed it, he was, Andrew Beck was technically in the last 50 years,

the heaviest guy, you're not fat, but the heaviest guy to return a kickoff for a touchdown.

And he did it at 255 pounds, returned to kick against the Jaguars.

So my question though, is watching it, how surprised were you while returning it?

And at one point were you like, holy shit, I'm going to the house because it looked like

Thank you. So before the game on it, I was like, hey, man, don't try anything.
It was like push kicks or anything like that. He's like, no, man, wouldn't kick it short to you this whole game.

Promise.

Sure enough, like second or third one goes up.

See it go up.

I'm like, man, this is mine.

A hundred percent.

And they kept just carrying.

And I was like, we're not supposed to step back, but I've committed at this point.

So I take a couple of steps back and I hear Mike like running towards me.

And then right before he bumps into me, he's like, oh, me, me, me. I'm like, there's nothing I can do about it now.
Like I'm committed. I've stepped back to return the ball.
So drop it. And he heard me say something that I'm not going to say to y'all, but my mother's going to watch this.
She'd get mad if I said it on the radio. But pick it up.
And as soon as I made those first three guys miss and turned the corner, I saw where everybody was because they had condensed it to try and make a play when I dropped the ball. I was like, I can get to this corner.
I might be able to score. And as soon as I got over the first defender, I was like, oh, I'm getting to the house 100% because I knew I was going to get the corner on BMAC.
I half-doubled on the kicker. Or I had to go back to the locker room right after that.
There was no doubt. And then got down the sideline, felt like 1 thousand yards later, crossed the goal.
And I turn around and Brevin Jordan's another tight end. He's standing there.
He's like, hey, man, you did it. Like, woo, let's go.
And I just looked at him. I was like, are there any flags? He said, there are no flags.
I started going crazy. It was a really, really cool feeling.
That's awesome. That's great.
What a cool story. My question was going to be, as a fullback, you probably don't have a touchdown celebration planned.
So when you get into the end zone, what goes through your head? Did you think of a celebration to do in the moment? Or have you gone back since then and been like, damn, you know what? I really wish I'd done the thing where I pretend to unscrew the top of the football, chug it, spike it. Are you having second doubts about your celebration? How legendary would that be? I got a text job beforehand.
Y'all got to come up with celebrations and sell to people. Like stone cold football.
Like chug a beer and slam it. That would be incredible.
I wish. Man, I was so focused on trying to breathe because what people don't understand is I'm on the kickoff team too.
So my first thought after I like hugged Brevin and started celebrating the guys is I'm about to have to run down and cover another kick, man. What am I going to do? And I went up to our special teams coordinator.
He's celebrating. He's so excited.
I couldn't even celebrate with him. I looked him dead in the eyes.
I was like, Frankie, I don't know how I'm about to have to run down and cover another kick man what am i gonna do and i went to our special teams quarter he's celebrating he's so excited i couldn't even celebrate with him i looked him dead in the eyes i was like frankie i don't know how i'm gonna cover this kick man what are we gonna do he's like i'll get you a blow for this one since you got the touchdown but that was the only thought was going through i was like no flags go catch your breath because we still got like another basically half to play and how the hell am i gonna cover this kick that was it yeah i should have planned something oh man unscrewing the top of the ball is tough I gotta do that next time you gotta have one in your back pocket yeah all right Jake hey Andrew Jake Marsh part of my take podcast my question is if a running back runs and a wide receiver receives why is a fullback called a fullback oh wow it's got to go back to the weight thing right halfback. I wanted to Google it before this, but I didn't want to spoil it for

anyone. I think it's because fullbacks.
Is there

a reason? I don't know. I can't look

right now. Because they got an ass on them.

That's what we're going to go with. Yeah, it's a fullback.

It's got to be the weight thing. Yeah.

The running backs are about half

of what I weigh.

I think it's because a fullback is lined up

fully in the backfield. Halfback is

Let's go. It's got to be the weight thing.
Yeah. The running backs are about half of what I weigh.
Well, I think it's because a fullback is lined up fully in the backfield. Halfback is lined up.
Actually, no, that doesn't make sense because a quarterback. No, I was going to say that.
It's a quarterback and then a fullback and then a half. That makes no sense at all.
It's got to go back to the old wing T days or wishbone days or something like that. There's definitely a real answer to that, 100%.
the one to ask yeah this isn't this question doesn't count for one question to a fullback but we do give a trophy out every year to the best college football fullback it's called the low man trophy and so we've been doing that for the last six years we would like it if you would be on the committee to nominate and vote on who the best fullback in the country is do you accept the honor 100 would be my honor be my honor. I love it.
Awesome. The committee grows.
And we'll get an answer for you on the fullback question. Yeah, it says a fullback in football gets named because it's behind or back of the quarterback.
But the halfback. Yeah, I know.
That doesn't make sense. That's the only explanation I see.
Yeah. Okay.
Taylor Swift fans are going to have a field day with this. We're going to come up with a better one than that.
Max. Hi, Max.
producer, part of my take here. There's a play that's circulating the NFL right now that is garnering a lot of controversy.
It's called the Tush Push. I don't know if you've ever heard of it.
People are really upset about it and want it outlawed, and I want to know why those people are wrong. So it's got to be about the QB sneak stuff, right? Right.
Yes. Obviously, I read that from the Eagles and stuff like that.
I mean, we did it in the game against Jacksonville. I'd come back and I pushed CJ.
And it looks great on paper. And so we opened up a hole and CJ almost got assassinated by the linebacker.
Because you can't get to the second level of the block. So I pushed him right into the linebackerer i don't know if it's the best like it looks great on paper until you run it and even cj was like man that sucked when he popped up like you got the first down too it doesn't even matter but no i'm here for it i'm here for it i you know what it's man it's such a cool play to watch it's like a major rugby vibes like the scr scrum and everything like that.
It's like old-school gladiator style, man. They should do it every play.
Yeah, I agree. Three or four yards per carry.
I think they could get down the field. The entire way down the field.
I think they could. I like it.
If they ran it from the 25, they could average 2.5 yards per carry and just bleed the clock going like a 12-minute drive. Yeah.
Time of possession would be insane. It would.
The other win if they don't touch the ball. Yeah, it's like Army football.
Yeah. So our other producer, Hank, isn't here yet.
So I'm going to ask Hank's question for him. He sent me this question before the interview.
So you were on the Patriots in 2019 for a cup of coffee, right? You were there for a little bit. Hank wanted to know how awesome the old lighthouse was at Gillette Stadium.
Did you get to see the old lighthouse that looked over the field? I mean, I don't know. I was so busy trying not to mess up anything back there.
Like the whole building, the tension's so high. I don't even think I ever looked up.
Sounds like it was forgettable. It was a lighthouse.
Yeah. I mean, I tell people the same thing.
Like when they ask about how your time there was, like, I probably learned more about football and like playing the game in the 15 minutes I was there than I had in years leading up to that, just because the intensity and the demand they have on their guys. And I mean, little did I know, it's just kind of an NFL thing.
Like we got here and it's the same way y'all were mentioning earlier like how d'amico is and how intensive a guy he is it's the same thing with him it was the same for my you know time in denver you know however that went but uh but you know i it's i guess getting back to the lighthouse man no i can't think of it off the top of my head yeah it was forgettable that's a forgettable light you were also in a because they brought you in you were filling in for uh it was like right after devlin left too and that dude was a fucking tank at fullback dude so we actually we overlapped a little bit like i was there with him for it was he got hurt that season like that i was there leading into so i got to learn a little bit from him man one of the best dudes i've ever met such a great dude and an absolute unit at fullback yeah like the full our last preseason there were three fullbacks on the roster that preseason there's me yuck who's in i think he's still in uh vegas with the raiders was last year and uh and jimmy d and jimmy d with a neck roll obviously yeah And none of us did. But for the last preseason game, if you look, he did.
So all three of us did. It was actually pretty cool, man.
But it was like the only game that I ever did. I thought it was the coolest thing, dude.
That thing's damn near a cheat code. Yeah, I love the neck roll.
Snap back, man. It was great.
I loved it. Full speed run through people with that thing on.
Cowboy coll the old school face mask i love everything about the back position all starts pads the uh sorry so that's a good answer the the lighthouse was completely forgettable almost like it wasn't there uh which is like the opposite of what a lighthouse is supposed to do yeah a lighthouse to let you know exactly where it is well belichick hates look at me guys and that's what a lighthouse by definition right right um all right so do you have a question for us yeah man but i don't know if y'all are going to answer okay so of all of the active nfl players that you fed on like i saw you had horror the destroyer a little bit ago most disappointing interview you've Yeah, that's pretty easy. That's pretty easy.
Yeah, money. Let's go.
No doubt about it.

Not even a question. That was so easy.
You didn't even have to say like active NFL players. Well, it might have been Dan Marino.
What's the word? Yeah. If it was just players.
If it starts with DA, we don't want him on the show. Yeah.
That's incredible. Wait, did you just say Hoyer the Destroyer? Oh, yeah, man.
The that's what you called hoyer the destroyer the towels you don't see the towels that he had when he was in it was when he was like first drafted right he had all this hoyer the destroyer towels that used to spin around i didn't know that was a thing until when i was in new england somebody kept putting him on his spot in the meeting rooms they had hundreds of them and every day would just put a hoyer the destroyer tell he's finally like he's doing this and i don't know if they ever found out i don't know if it was an equipment guy or something like that it might have been stidham because it was stidham's rookie year too but yeah man oh my god i'm looking right now yeah we gotta start calling him hoyer the destroyer the destroyer his real name's axel he's he's way cooler than he lets on where the destroyer he's a a good i don't know if you'd remember that we were there at the same time he's a little bit further along in his career than i was at the time but yeah he's a good guy to be around has that well i can't ask another question but i'll just pose it out there like um you can ask me oh yeah like do you ever is it ever weird like seeing a guy that you played on the same team with and you have to like reintroduce yourself that's a good question. I was thinking about that.
I don't know if anybody else in the room has an example of that. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. It's almost as bad as when you walk up to him and you're like, he's definitely going to remember me.
We played together for a while. And you're like, hey, great, great, man.
Good to see you. And he's like, huh? He just got that blank face.
He looks at you like I'm supposed to know you from somewhere face. He just gives you the generic answer.
Like, yeah, man, good luck the rest of this year. You're like, man, you didn't have a clue who I am.
That's tough. Big Cat, what about hypothetically if you were on an NFL team and you switched teams a couple times, would it take a while for you to relearn brand new handshakes with every team that you go to because you build up these handshakes that you invent with your teammates? You're like, can't use those handshakes anymore i gotta learn new ones well andrew you were just telling me about that right 100 yeah no i'm obviously i'm a big handshake guy yeah so everywhere you go having to make up new handshakes sure that's a pain yeah i delegate at this point someone's like man we got to get a handshake like dp our running back here is like man we, we got to get a handshake.
I was like, man, you're definitely the guy to come up with it, too. Let's go.
I want to see what you got. That's where I'm at now.
Yeah, I love it. All right.
Well, Andrew, thank you, man. We really appreciate it.
We got to come. Maybe we're just talking to the PR guy.
Come down to Houston. We've actually been talking about maybe Grit Week next year, doing a little Texas.
So maybe get back back on the show. And you now are part of the Loman Trophy Committee.
Congratulations. That's a huge honor.
Yes. Unbelievable honor.
I appreciate you guys, man. Thank you all for having me.
I'm excited for the committee too. Let's go.
Yeah, the trophy is – Pullbacks are making a comeback, man. They are.
They truly are. The trophy is literally just a tire.
And sometimes we nail a beer can to it. It's the grittiest trophy in sports trophy in sports that is a necessity yes i'm denying committee if we don't add the beer can as a permanent attachment to the trophy i like it i like it all right man thanks so much and run run some more kicks back yeah i want to see more bring back the fullback yeah do some dives old school I don't have to smash my shit.
All right. Thanks, man.
Good to see you, man. See ya.
Appreciate y'all.

Okay, let's wrap up the show we have Jimbo's today's Jimbo's brought to you by the one and only Snickers the most satisfying solution for all those rookie mistake moments packed with chocolate caramel peanuts and nougat Snickers is the go-to play when life throws blitzes your way rookie mistake maybe you just need snickers learn more at snickers.com slash nfl the snickers ice cream bars are elite jimbos thank you to snickers okay hank jimbos hey pmt so i work for the cincinnati reds and as we were shutting down the stadium after the last game of the year there was a woman crouching down by a needed to get moved. Okay.
I walked up to her and said, excuse me, ma'am. I need to move you.
And as it turned, and as I said it, they turned around and it was a dude. The long hair and jeans completely threw me off.
Do not recommend. Very awkward.
Kind of look like PFT, to be honest. What was that last part? Kind of look like PFT, to be honest.
Okay. Well, it sounds like a handsome guy.
I would say that, yeah, it happens. And you can't let it affect you if you have long hair.
It's probably been, I don't know, eight months. I get it like twice a year.
I'll be at a restaurant. Someone will come up behind me.
What can I get you, ladies? Excuse me, ma'am. Would you like another drink? I've never gotten it.
Yeah, well, no offense, Max, but never it woof because you probably you get more like hey what's up miss what what position do you play on the softball field catcher i don't know if you just heard me i said i've never gotten it yeah yeah no you get that instead no i mean that would still that would be the same thing spin zone pft i think part of why you get it is you got a good ass i do have ass. Right.
There was one time I was in South Carolina. I was at a grocery store.
Oh, no. What? Hank just too small, Joe.
Okay. That's very funny.
You also don't have a beard. I don't have a beard.
Hey, come on. Back off my boy.
Hank's mad. Back off my boy.
Hank's mad. Again, this is like when Big Cat got upset about Sam Howell.
I'm not going to take anything Hank says personally today because he's mad about his lighthouse. His lighthouse is like your Justin Fields.
That's how much he loves this fucking thing. Yeah.
Well, no, not anymore. Well, I hope he comes to reality about it soon.
But yeah, I was in a grocery store one time in South Carolina and I was in like the deli section and I was reaching. I was bending over to get something out of the frozen thing that was in the middle.
And then I turned around and the deli guy behind the counter was just looking at my ass. And then I looked at him and he looked at me.
He was like, oh, no. And I was like, you were just looking at my ass, weren't you? And he's like, no, no, I wasn't.
I was like, it's okay. It's okay.
I got a good dump. He's like, no, I swear to God, I wasn't.
But he was so embarrassed. But yeah, it happens occasionally.
Listen, it comes with territory. I'm secure in my sexuality.
That's all. It's never happened to me from the front.
I'll say that. Facts.
Yep. Except when you dress up like a woman like four times in one month.
No, it was like three times in four years. No, there was a stretch.
Listen, I got asked to be a bridesmaid at Dana Beer's wedding. What am I going to say? No Dana Beer's All right.
Hank, my girlfriend asked me to take the garbage out before work. I threw the garbage in my trunk because I was too lazy to carry it all the way to the dumpster.
Two days later, I had no idea why my car was like straight landfill until I opened my trunk and found the garbage still sitting there. I'd put the garbage in the trunk and somehow just drove to work and forgot to drop it off.
This is I had to remove my trunk carpet and soak it in soapy water.

Still smells like shit.

You probably thought you committed a murder.

This is such a relatable move. Like the moving of boxes or garbage.

I just do.

I like gradually get there.

Yeah.

Where it's like, oh, I'll get it.

I'll get it to the door.

I'll get it to the garage.

I'll get it to the.

It's or the other move that guys do.

I think everyone here does it. Like when you have something in your car and maybe it's in your back seat and you're just like i'll just get it later like what why wouldn't i just get it now it's the very definition of out of sight out of mind yeah like you took the garbage and you put it away just not in the right place but it was gone like sometimes us as guys we don't have was it object permanence where if you don't see something then then it doesn't exist.
Yeah, that's the mindset with trash. My golf clubs have been in my car since we last golf.
There's no reason for them to be in there. Right.
No, I just don't want to take them out. Yeah, because then it's like one extra thing I have to do.
Hey, PMT boys, this is even more relatable, but even worse. I was using my parents shower the other day and I broke the shower head off and put it back up with electrical

tape. They don't know that it

broke. What should I

do if they eventually find out?

I'm also just living in constant fear that

it'll fall off again while they're using it. Yeah.
I mean,

they're going to find out. Yeah.

I think you just don't say anything. Yeah.
I don't

know. Some guy came in and was working

in the bathroom. A guy broke into the house and

took a shower. No guy broke into the house and took a shower.

No guy broke into the house, broke the shower and fixed it.

Isn't this the plot of the cat in the hat?

This is just don't worry about this.

Yeah.

I mean, nobody uses those shower handles anyways.

Yeah.

That's the bigger question is why we're using the handle.

Yeah.

This is also back to the out of sight, out of mind.

This is a future you problem.

Yeah.

Don't stress.

Yeah.

All right.

Last one. That was it.
That was it. Or you what you can do you can you can go take another shower pretend to slip grab the handle and then go i'll be like yeah i almost fell on my head but good thing that shower handle was there i reached out grabbed it i'm sorry that it's broken but the the alternative was i cracked my head open in your bathroom i've i've broken probably every single towel rack that I've ever had in my life.
I don't know if you guys have that happen. I've broken a couple.
Just a little bit of weight. Yeah.
You're stuffing the towel in. I never do the fold.
Every guy does the stuff. Yeah.
The stuff is a terrible move. That's why I've moved on to hooks.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hooks are so much easier. I have hooks now, but I've definitely had a lot of towel racks.
I broke a toilet one time in a bathroom and it was like the mom of a friend. And I went over, I took a crap and I sat down and I sat down too hard on it.
The entire back of the toilet shattered in half. The toilet flooded the bathroom with water.
It started dripping through the basement ceiling. I had no explanation for why.
But spin zone, that is kind of how like a porno could start. Yeah, that's true.
Hey, you need some help with these pipes? Yeah. All right.
Numbers. Three.
One. 69.
20. 18.
Memes, ever gotten it? Nope. Okay.
Two. 38.

38.

38.

By the way,

everyone three,

we're on schedule.

The door,

the soundproof doors have been delivered to the,

have shipped to the new office.

We were on schedule.

The countdown begins.

I think we are after this week,

we are three weeks away from our new digs,

our permanent home.

I couldn't be more excited.

So thank you to everyone

who's just dealt with whatever this visual is and the flushing there it is and the flushing pipes

and the small very very unrealistic camera perspective where i look short

you say love you guys huh you say love you he love you guys? Love you guys. I'm talking away.

I don't know what I need to say. I say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you shining away. I'll be coming for your lover, coming for your lover, baby.
I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm Take me on me Take me on I'll be gone Let your own change Be let's say you Thank you. I'll be gone

Little cheese