Brooks Koepka, NFL Week 3 Picks And Previews + The Niners Are A Wagon

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Speaker 1 On today is part of my take NFL week three picks and preview. Fantasy lad boys and our good friend Brooks Kefka in person.

Speaker 1 We went out and golfed with him today. We talk Ryder Cup.
We talk

Speaker 1 how many majors he's going to win. We also get a guest question from Jersey Jerry.
Very, very funny questions. He had two.

Speaker 1 Very funny questions. Great interview with Brooks.
And we wrap it all up with Firefest.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 5 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of soft work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then a candle game all on the sun.

Speaker 6 It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 Isn't it about Marshall Sports?

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, September 22nd.

Speaker 1 And the 49ers are really fucking good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Brock Purdy's really fucking good.

Speaker 2 Throwing some dimes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 I still like Brock.

Speaker 2 I think he's better than just a system guy.

Speaker 1 I like Brock, too, but there's a lot of times he throws passes and then his receivers are so fucking good that it doesn't matter. Or they're so wide open it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Or that one where he threw that was a terrible pass and then got tipped up and then caught for like a 20-yard. I like Brock Purdy.

Speaker 2 Where did it hit his receiver? What? Where'd it hit his receiver?

Speaker 1 It was wildly overthrown. In the hands.
Yeah, but I like Brock Purdy, but this was maybe the first time. Maybe it's because it was a primetime game where I was like, Brock Purdy's good.

Speaker 1 The guys around him are really fucking good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, one thing Kyle Shah has actually kind of figured out is that the one place on the football field where there are very few defenders is behind the line of scrimmage.

Speaker 2 So maybe just throw a lot of passes there. Yeah.
Because they're very hard to pick off.

Speaker 1 They're just, I mean, the defense is fucking phenomenal. They just bottled up the Giants.
And I don't even like...

Speaker 1 The 49ers are now at a point where

Speaker 1 through, I know it's early in the season, but we obviously know last year they were a very, very good team. When teams lose to them, I don't even ding the team.

Speaker 1 I'm not even saying like the Giants are trash. The Giants just had to play the Cowboys and the 49ers, which might be the two best teams in the NFC.

Speaker 1 Might be the two best teams in the NFC. What do we think?

Speaker 2 I think that division's the best teams in the NFC.

Speaker 1 Okay. But either way, the Giants, like, that was a tough road trip for them.
They're one and two, going back home.

Speaker 1 The 49ers are just that much better than pretty much every team in the NFC and maybe every team in the NFL.

Speaker 2 I want to tip my cap to the officials for what they did right before halftime tonight. Yes.
A little dust up on the field between Trent Williams. I forget who on the Giants it was against.

Speaker 2 They didn't throw anybody out, even though both players kind of threw punches at each other. I like that.
Let the boys play. Let the boys play out there.
It's football. Let them scuffle.

Speaker 2 Let them get in each other's faces.

Speaker 2 A lot of Twitter narcs out there are posting the video of Trent Williams throwing a punch, neglecting to throw the previous punch that was thrown in that highlight clip conveniently. But I like it.

Speaker 2 I like them.

Speaker 2 Assess offsetting penalties. Let the boys play.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Danny Dimes,

Speaker 1 not so good in primetime. I think it's, I don't even know what his record is at this point, but it's very, very bad.
He had a tough night. Again, very tough team to play against.
Not a ton of weapons.

Speaker 1 Saquon's out, but he was... 137 yards, which is hard to do in an NFL game, especially when you throw the ball 32 times.

Speaker 2 I feel like Danny Dimes can throw some Danny Dimes as long as they don't get a big hole, you know? Yeah. Like as long as it's a close game, he can break off a couple passes.

Speaker 2 But when you're expecting a pass from the Giants, they're not really able to air it out on you.

Speaker 1 This also was like one of those games where

Speaker 1 the Giants use so much effort coming back against the Cardinals, and Daniel Jones was so phenomenal in that second half.

Speaker 1 He didn't run the ball tonight. Like you didn't see the full Danny Dimes when he's actually playing very well.
But yeah, the 49ers are fucking awesome. And I don't know.
I don't really know.

Speaker 1 Let's see. I'm going to do a quick look at their schedule to see what they're going to get tested.

Speaker 2 Let me ask you this, Big Cat, while you're looking that up. If the Super Bowl were today, do you think that the 49ers would win it? Yes.
I think so, too.

Speaker 2 I think that they were the best team in the NFL today.

Speaker 1 Well, they were the only team ready to play today because they weren't counting the Giants as being ready to play. Oh, great.
The 49ers play the Cardinals next week.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Then they do get to play the Cowboys on Sunday night football in week five, which will be very, very bad rules.
But yeah, the 49ers, I don't know

Speaker 1 at the Eagles later in the season is maybe their toughest remaining game. Like,

Speaker 1 they're just going to waste teams. They're going to absolutely waste teams, and we're going to find out if Brock Purdy's the guy yet again when we get to the playoffs.

Speaker 1 That's really what it's going to be.

Speaker 2 Very excited about the matchup against the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so yeah, Giants

Speaker 1 go home, play the Seahawks, I think they're playing next. They had a long week.
Yeah. Mini-buy.
Yeah, mini-buy. Brian Dable was throwing flags around, was getting angry.
I like to see that fight.

Speaker 2 He was ready to play.

Speaker 1 He was ready to play.

Speaker 1 But yeah, not a great game for the Giants tonight.

Speaker 2 No party, no birthday party for his kids. Actually, if you're going to have a party, Brian, this is the Saturday to do it.
Oh, they got it.

Speaker 1 Seahawks at Dolphins at Bills and then Commanders. That is not easy.
Nope. The Giants could very well be like a two-win team going into November.
Yikes.

Speaker 1 But that's also kind of what we expected when it comes to the regression monster that is biting the Vikings and the the Giants right now from last year's

Speaker 1 incredible runs.

Speaker 2 I'll go ahead and make a prediction.

Speaker 2 If they only have two wins going into November, I think the Giants will be the best two-win team in the entire NFL going into November.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like that. The friskiest two-win team.

Speaker 2 They're not that bad.

Speaker 1 I also think that we do need to, I know you're maybe more in on Brock.

Speaker 1 I like Brock Purdy. I think he's a good quarterback, but I think that for the sake of

Speaker 1 being able to talk about the 49ers, because it's boring to talk about a team that's dominating everyone we need to keep alive like the is Brock Purdy good yeah I think I think

Speaker 1 for our own like you know fodder do we trust him in the playoffs right we don't know we won't know until he gets to the playoffs is he injury prone right we don't know right because like that is really what that's all Brock Purdy is at this point because I think he's asserted himself as a bona fide NFL starter he's a good quarterback but then we get to just have the discussion game on the line Brock Purdy's got to go you know 80 yards do we trust him?

Speaker 2 And it's shocking if you watched

Speaker 2 a lot of college games where he was playing at Iowa State, where it's Brocktober. It's Brocktober, but outside of Brocktober, you watch a lot of big noon kickoff.

Speaker 2 He goes out there, doesn't play that well. It takes a while to unsee all the stuff that you've seen already.
Yeah, so I feel like we've seen enough from Brock.

Speaker 1 I like Brock. Yeah, but it goes back to what we talked about on Sunday, Hank.
Like, the Niners, at this point,

Speaker 1 if you're a Niners fan, you just want to play the playoffs right now because they're ready. They are ready.
They're the first. I'm going to say right now, the Niners have clinched a playoff berth.

Speaker 1 Congratulations. Congratulations to the San Francisco 49ers.

Speaker 1 That's huge. Also, the Kansas City Chiefs have officially won the AFC West.

Speaker 2 Congratulations to the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 They're going to say both of those. We were the first to have it, so when it happens, please credit part of my take.

Speaker 2 Congratulations to the New England Patriots on drafting Caleb Williams with the first overall pick.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Hank, you're not going to.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're booing? Why are you booing? Because you want him? I don't want Caleb Williams on Patriots. I want Caleb Williams on the Patriots.
Well, no, I'm back on Justin Fields.

Speaker 2 Memes, would you rather lose this game or beat the Patriots this game, and now they get Caleb Williams?

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Answer correctly.

Speaker 1 He's really taking his time. Lose this game.

Speaker 2 Oh. Okay, so Memes is laying down, raising the white flag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go pet his belly, Hank. It's over.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to the rest of the slate. We got a ton of preview to do.

Speaker 1 Let's kick it to ourselves. All right, it's time for our NFL weekend picks and preview segment.

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Speaker 1 Boys, week three, maybe not the best slate, but... No, they're all good, dog.
They're all good. But I have a bone to pick, and I think we need to start being more vocal about this.

Speaker 1 This is something we've talked about in the past. This This is something we have stood on firmly.

Speaker 1 The nine early games and three late games is an abomination.

Speaker 2 It's tough.

Speaker 1 It should be seven and five.

Speaker 2 It's an abomination to the Lord. And looking at the late slate, it's not going to be the same.
It's an abomination to the Lord.

Speaker 1 It's an abomination to the Lord.

Speaker 2 Yes, this schedule, whoever made this schedule, Roger Goodell, this is sacrilegious. Well,

Speaker 1 they thought a couple teams, the Bears, would be good. But either way,

Speaker 2 no, this is the worst part, is that there's only one 305 game. Right.
So we're going to be watching the Panthers and the Seahawks for 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 305 shouldn't exist. It should be seven games early, five games late, and all of them starting at the exact same time.
You have the 12 o'clock Central Time or 1 o'clock, and then the 3.25 or 4.25

Speaker 1 for the late games. Don't do the thing where we have to be like, oh shit, this game's about to start.
We got to get our bets in. And don't do the thing where we have three games.

Speaker 1 It's It's basically like they give us an overdose of football to start the day. And then they're like, oh, you like that? You like that high you just had? Well, guess what?

Speaker 1 We're taking away your supply. It's tapering off.
And we're cutting it at a third.

Speaker 2 It's tapering off.

Speaker 1 Giving you Andy Dalton.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But then on Monday, we've got the double header.
The double heads. I do wish that the games were a little bit more staggered on Mondays.

Speaker 1 I don't like that there's so much double head. It's a double header, but it's not a double header.
It's not a double header. It's a double header that starts with the third inning.
Yeah, which I like.

Speaker 2 I remember that one year we had Mike Golick, Mike Greenberg, and Mike Dika on the broadcast.

Speaker 2 Mike and Mike and Mike.

Speaker 1 And we had the Chris Burman, the pun is blocked. Yeah.
The classic call. But yes, it is fix it, NFL.
You do almost everything right. We don't complain about a lot because we love football.

Speaker 2 That's not true.

Speaker 1 We complain about some stuff, but we're not like Florio. Right.
We don't complain like Florio.

Speaker 2 I'm willing to admit that my life is better because football is in it. Yes, but

Speaker 2 because we love it so very dearly, we want to have the most amount of football possible.

Speaker 1 This is just such a simple fix that they could easily do that I'm just begging you, asking you, because I think next week's the same thing. Like, there's no rhyme or reason for it.

Speaker 1 I'll go halfway. I'll go eight and four.

Speaker 1 Eight and four, I can deal with.

Speaker 1 Nine and three is a bullshit thing.

Speaker 2 The problem is when you're watching like a loaded early slate of games, there's too many games on to pay attention to at once.

Speaker 2 And then in the afternoon, you've got all the games that you don't want to pay attention to on at the exact same time. Right.

Speaker 2 It's like wasted calories, empty calories in the three o'clock window today.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's get into the games. As we've been doing this year, we're going to talk about the early slate, what games are going to be on TV.

Speaker 1 We actually fixed it, though. We actually were able to watch every single game last Sunday because we got the YouTube multi-view, which is nice.
But the main TVs,

Speaker 1 let's start with Bill's Commanders. Let's start with Bill.
I think that is probably the best. It's either that or the Falcons Lions.

Speaker 2 So, I mean, also the Jets and Patriots for Sicko reasons. For Sicko.
For perverted reasons.

Speaker 1 But that will be on there, but it's 0-2 versus 0-2. But Bills Commanders.
Yeah. No, 1-1.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, yeah, the Jets are 1-1. That's right.
Yeah, that's right. My bad.
My bad. My bad.

Speaker 1 The Bills Commanders, going to be a great game. PFT.
Yep. I have a staff for you that should make you maybe a little scared.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm already scared, but go ahead.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen has 57 wins in his career. How many of those 57 wins are by seven or more points?

Speaker 2 A lot of them. I'm going to say 24.
30.

Speaker 2 43 of the 57 are by seven or more points uh so the the point spread is right around there it's six and a half but i i think the commanders are ready for this game well so i'm i'm teetering on the edge of delusion when it comes to the i'm always teetering on the edge of delusion just in life but when it comes to the commanders i'm feeling like if we win this game I'm thinking NFC championship game.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking that like the commanders are for real, for real, if they win this game. If they lose, I can just be like, okay, we just need to to steal one from Philly, and I'm happy at three.

Speaker 2 I'd be very happy at three and one. I told you, if the Commanders are three and one, they're for real, for real.
I think they're for real, for real if they win this game.

Speaker 2 If they win this game, I'm almost thinking Supy Big Cat. That's how delusional I'm getting.
Why not?

Speaker 2 Why not us? Sam Howell looked awesome. He was a great guest on part of my take, and I feel like...
Actually, I saw a very funny thing. The Bills, the last three times the Bills have played

Speaker 2 whatever you're going to call the Washington team, they've had three different names.

Speaker 2 And then they're not going to play again probably for a couple years. So

Speaker 2 there'll be four different names in four years. The Bills are very, very good.
I'm willing to acknowledge the fact that this is going to be a tough, tough matchup for a defense.

Speaker 2 If anything,

Speaker 2 maybe the D-line can get after that Bills' offensive line. But Josh Allen is Josh Allen, and he's good.
He's still good.

Speaker 1 He's still good. I have a good stat for you, though.
Hit me. Last five years, teams after playing in Denver are 24 and 10 against the spread.

Speaker 2 Because our bodies are just soaked in oxygen. You feel

Speaker 2 saturated with oxygen.

Speaker 1 Coming out of the mile high. And by the way, we don't have Jake here because he's in Atlanta for the MLP, Major League Pickleball.

Speaker 1 We have his nerd nuggets, though. Yeah.
He sent them to us. Max is going to read them for us.
Okay, we'll kick him out. Can we do a Jake voice at least, Max?

Speaker 2 Yes. I would like to hear that.
But first, Max, before you say that, I want to correct the error that we had last week, and we've seen it all over the media.

Speaker 2 I can't believe, I actually blame myself for not speaking up at the time. I forgot about this.
You know the stat about Pittsburgh not losing a home Monday night game in, what, since 1991?

Speaker 2 How quickly we forget the year 2020 when COVID switched everything around.

Speaker 2 The Washington football team

Speaker 1 Wednesday night game, right?

Speaker 2 It was a Monday night game. I think it was played on Monday night, but it was originally supposed to be like a Thursday night game.

Speaker 1 I thought it was played on like a Tuesday.

Speaker 2 It was

Speaker 1 wrong about Double Renegade. People were correcting.

Speaker 2 I saw that.

Speaker 1 A lot of people were tweeting. A lot of people are passionate about double renegade.
I saw that. I do appreciate the AWLs because, like, I heard double renegade.

Speaker 1 I was like, waking up on Wednesday morning and having all these people be like, you've got to get your boy PFT in check. There was no double renegade.

Speaker 2 I heard two renegades.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 But the 2020 game between the Commanders or the football team and the Steelers, either it was played on Monday night, but it was supposed to be like Thursday night football, or it was a Monday night football game that got moved to Wednesday.

Speaker 1 I know it was not played on a Monday night. I feel like I can, I feel confident in saying that.

Speaker 1 December 7th, 2020, let's look at a calendar real quick. December 7th.
Oh, maybe it was played on a Monday night. Pearl Harbor Day.

Speaker 1 So it wasn't a Monday night game, but it was moved to a Monday night game? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Got it. So we did.
It was like a Thursday night football game that was rescheduled to a Monday night. So we did beat.

Speaker 1 That doesn't really, yeah. The COVID year doesn't count for anything.

Speaker 2 I think this one should count.

Speaker 1 That was the Steelers, yeah, 11-0. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The worst 11-0 team of all time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was tough. It's always tough.
It was kind of like the Vikings last year when a team has a record and everyone's like, well, their record is really good. And it's like, but we know.

Speaker 2 We know. I'm going to have all my boys being like, yo, you got to correct your boy, Big Cat.
That was actually played on Monday night.

Speaker 1 That was played on Monday night. Yeah, Double Renegade hurt you.
I heard two Renegades.

Speaker 2 How? I heard two Renegades. There was one coming out of one commercial break, one coming out of another commercial break.
Was it piped in? It might have been piped in on the broadcast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They take Double Renegade very seriously in Pittsburgh.

Speaker 2 I can tell. As they should.
I can tell.

Speaker 1 As they should.

Speaker 2 Well, the fact stands that it was immediately after the renegade was played that J.J.

Speaker 1 Wash. How can we know if there was even one renegade? Fuck up.

Speaker 1 Sir, sir, a second renegade. That's true.

Speaker 1 All right, Max, nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 8 I don't really know how to do a Jake voice.

Speaker 8 I will try and go.

Speaker 1 Come on, if you're going to be able to do it. Okay, got it.

Speaker 8 Bill's star wide receiver, Stephon Diggs, is from just outside the D.C. area and has played on the road against the Commanders twice during his NFL career.

Speaker 8 In two games at Washington, Diggs has totaled 17 catches for 242 yards and one touchdown.

Speaker 1 Wow. You got it.
Towards the end.

Speaker 2 That's a great, great nerd nugget, Max.

Speaker 1 It's like a radio DJ.

Speaker 2 Which is cool in Maryland, yeah.

Speaker 1 I actually think not only the Maryland connection, but the fact that Jack Del Rio likes to play man coverage, I think Stephon Diggs is going to eat on some.

Speaker 2 We'll see. Forbes is going to have his hands full.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to eat. I'm going to bet some props.
All right, next game. Falcons at Lions.

Speaker 1 This is going to be fun to see what the Falcons are and what the Lions are, actually. Jan Campbell did say

Speaker 1 they needed that loss for reality to come back down to reality. They do have a ton of injuries.

Speaker 1 CJ Gardner Johnson's out. He played the entire second half with a torn peck.
Is that right, Max?

Speaker 8 I mean, yeah, that's what I saw on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's right. That's as much sourcing as we're going to do.

Speaker 1 So the Lions trying to find out, like, are they like, this is a game they should win if they have hopes of being one of those top teams in the NFC.

Speaker 1 I kind of like the Lions in this game, but I also saw that clip of Bijan Robinson that looked like an actual video game. Yeah.
And he might be my favorite player right now in the NFC.

Speaker 2 He's got the most balance. That run doesn't happen if the defense isn't focused on Kyle Pitts being the most effective decoy of all time.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Arthur Smith versus Dane Campbell, I think the biggest matchup of coaches, like physically, if we're taking their weights, dividing them by two,

Speaker 1 Arthur looks good.

Speaker 2 Andy Reed,

Speaker 2 huh?

Speaker 2 Andy Reid, Heberflues.

Speaker 1 Well, no, Andy Reed, but if Andy Reid... Oh, you mean Justice?

Speaker 2 I'm talking about this weekend.

Speaker 1 Justice weekend. Got it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, two big boys going at each other. Mustache focused on it.

Speaker 1 Belichick and Salah.

Speaker 2 No, Belichick's skinny. He's on that.

Speaker 2 He's got that shot going. But I really like what Arthur Smith is doing with the Falcons.
I like it a lot. He's playing just like

Speaker 2 pound you in the mouth football, smash mouth football, R.I.P. to our good friend.
But I think I like the Falcons in this game.

Speaker 2 I think that they're a very sneaky team because they don't have like a splash. They don't have Desmond Ritter.

Speaker 2 He's not being looked at as being like a top 10 quarterback, top 15 quarterback yet. He's probably not, but they just get the job done.
I don't know how they do it. The Falcons just get the job done.

Speaker 1 I feel like this is the perfect game for the Lions, though, with the injuries they have, especially in the secondary, their defense does not look like it's that much improved.

Speaker 2 They've got one dude playing defense. Yeah.
Hutchinson, and then nobody else. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, and what's his name? Malcolm Rodrigo. Rodrigo.

Speaker 1 But Desmond Ritter doesn't scare me in the slightest.

Speaker 2 No, that's what I'm saying. But the fact that he doesn't scare teams, I feel like, I don't know, they just look like a good football team.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They look

Speaker 1 like a good all-around team. I feel like the Falcons are going to be a solid team all year, but there will be moments where Desmond Ritter has to do something.
It's like, can he?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and also the Lions have, I think Taylor Decker might be hurt. I think

Speaker 2 Amon Ross, St. Brown,

Speaker 1 practice this week. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, I don't know. He'll play.
I feel like, yeah, they'll all play.

Speaker 1 They'll all play.

Speaker 2 But I just feel like people are sleeping on the Falcons. I like the Falcons.

Speaker 1 All right, Max, Nerd Nugget.

Speaker 8 The Falcons have been flawless in the fourth quarter this season, outscoring opponents 27-0 in the final 15 minutes in their first two games.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 8 This is the best fourth quarter scoring margin in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of detail in these. Through two games.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 8 Yes, through two games, that is the best fourth-quarter scoring margin.

Speaker 1 What is the margin again?

Speaker 8 27-0.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It was the Packers game that they, yeah.

Speaker 1 They were down 12.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think the defense is mid in Atlanta. I don't think that they're a great defense, but I think they get the something about the Falcons.
They just get the job done. They're not sexy.

Speaker 1 We didn't talk on Sunday because it's all a blur, but the fact that Jared Goff was so good at a fake,

Speaker 1 he handed the ball off and he pretended that he still had the ball and got hit like five seconds after the play,

Speaker 1 elite.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I like that. Elite.
I like that.

Speaker 1 I don't like him getting hit for no reason.

Speaker 2 But something about the guy, like when you do a handoff, I like it when they do the stick the ball behind their leg so they hide it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then that sets up the fake stick the ball behind your leg again. Yep.

Speaker 1 And then the Rogers trick. Yeah, yeah.
I like that. All right, next up on the TVs: Broncos Dolphins.

Speaker 1 Will the Broncos maybe win a game? Probably not. No.
Tua, Tua, this podcast is Tua Non-sponsored. Tua is now the betting favorite to win MVP.

Speaker 2 I think that's throwing your money away.

Speaker 1 He's pretty good. He's been pretty, pretty good this year.
I am,

Speaker 1 I'm hoping. Well, I'm just stating facts.
He's now the betting favorite to win MVP. Yep.
And

Speaker 1 I would like to see maybe Vic Fangio revenge game. Yeah.
Vic Fangio revenge game.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 I got to figure out a way to bet this because the Broncos threw two games, and maybe this isn't how it's going to go, but their scripted plays.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson in the first quarter has looked great, and then it just all falls apart. Yeah, he's just goes back down to check down.

Speaker 2 It's the first, and the second quarter was pretty good last week, too, but the second half, they just don't make any adjustments. I don't know what's going on.
You know what?

Speaker 2 I might flip on this if Russ wears a wristband this weekend. Oh, if it's a a wristband game,

Speaker 2 then it's going to be all scripted as far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 1 Also, we get the Miami Heat. Always a story early in the season.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to see the giant thermometers out there.

Speaker 1 I want to see Russ Pugh. I want to see Russ Pugh.

Speaker 2 How long do you think it lasts for like because the Dolphins run the old-school Denver-based rushing attack? Because they got Mike McDaniel took it from Kyle. Kyle took it from his dad.

Speaker 2 His dad coached in Denver. Something about just Denver running backs, though, I still always think are going to be nasty because of the lingering effects.

Speaker 2 Are there any lingering effects of the old school Denver running attack that still live in Denver, Colorado?

Speaker 1 Mike Brown, Orlandus Gary.

Speaker 2 Yep, all those guys. Mike Anderson.
Mike Anderson. Mike Anderson.

Speaker 1 What was I thinking of? I don't know who I was thinking of. Orlandus Gary, though, I remember as well.
Yeah. Yeah, there was a stretch where it was like, oh, it doesn't matter who's back there.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, it did kind of matter because they won two Super Bowls with Terrell Davis.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 1 So we kind of tricked ourselves to be like, it doesn't matter who's back there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it really does. But then with Sean Payton and Mike McDaniel, I feel like I want to hear Sean Payton's like truth serum thoughts on every single coach in the NFL because you know he's got takes.

Speaker 2 We've heard some of his takes. I want to hear what Sean Payton says behind closed doors about Mike McDaniel because I'm pretty sure he hates him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably rinky-dink football.

Speaker 2 Yeah, candy ass.

Speaker 2 Candy ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 the Broncos' defense has been bad. And I don't know what that was what they were basically the last few years.
That was the thing that was keeping them in games, keeping them somewhat competitive.

Speaker 1 It's been bad. I feel like the Dolphins might eat.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and they're also hurt on defense, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget.

Speaker 8 The Dolphins are 8-1 at home all-time versus Denver.

Speaker 1 Yeah, come on, Max.

Speaker 8 The Broncos' lone win in Miami was.

Speaker 1 Jake voice. You had it.

Speaker 1 Here,

Speaker 1 let me do it for you. Okay.
Okay. Let me pull it up.

Speaker 1 I got to find it.

Speaker 1 We are on Broncos, Dolphins.

Speaker 1 You also got to make sure that to be true, Jake, you got to like fuck up one thing and then just get really upset at yourself.

Speaker 1 Okay, Broncos, Dolphins. The Dolphins are 8-1 all-time.
Home. I can't do it.
No, you do it, Jake. It's hard.
You do it.

Speaker 2 There it is, right there.

Speaker 1 The Dolphins. You got this.

Speaker 1 Broncos at Dolphins.

Speaker 1 The Dolphins are 8-1 all-time versus Denver. The Broncos alone win in Miami was October 23rd, 2011, which was an epic comeback win led by Tim Tebow.
Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Florida.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 1 That was good.

Speaker 1 That was good.

Speaker 2 It is the.

Speaker 1 He's got to be the guy. I'm going to send it to Hank.
I'm going to forward it to Hank right now. He's going to have to be the guy going forward.

Speaker 2 It's definitely the matchup of the biggest difference in elevation in the NFL, right? Denver to Miami? Because Miami is probably like, or no, probably New Orleans, right? Yeah. Below sea level.

Speaker 2 Anyways, the point stands that Russ Wilson is probably going to puke.

Speaker 1 Yes. I would like to see him puke because then we can make some fat jokes.
It'll be a good time. I just forwarded it to you, Hank.
All right, next up:

Speaker 1 Jets Patriots. This will be on TV.
Memes versus Hank.

Speaker 1 Hank, first question is for you. Yep.
Are you nervous about the first game away from the Lighthouse? No, I think it's good. It's good to get away from the Lighthouse.

Speaker 1 It makes it that much better when you see it on the way back, you know, as any sailor knows.

Speaker 1 You can't appreciate a Lighthouse if you don't go out to sea.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's no such thing as light without the dark, right?

Speaker 1 Right. Exactly.

Speaker 2 So by out to sea, it's interesting that you brought up the lighthouse, Hank, because he always does. You always do.

Speaker 2 You love talking about that fucking thing, the big glorified, glow-in-the-dark butt plug that you've got.

Speaker 2 I did actually hear back from the Coast Guard regarding your last question.

Speaker 1 Hank, did you do any research? I did. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 Let's do some lighthouse talk.

Speaker 2 If you remember on Wednesday, as part of my take, Hank was incessantly speaking of this lighthouse and said that, oh, well, they probably don't have the current stats, the current roster when it comes to lighthouse facts that I gave, which was that Cape Hatteras Lighthouse was, in fact, the tallest in the United States.

Speaker 2 I heard back from the Coast Guard because I asked, you asked me to ask, Hank, and Commander Kroll says, Thank you for reaching back out for clarification and for sharing the lighthouse information with your listeners.

Speaker 2 The Coast Guard has a long and proud history of managing our nation's waterways, so I hope your listeners enjoyed learning about this mission.

Speaker 2 To answer your question, yes, the fact sheet I sent is current. By definition, federal aids to navigation are any marine aids installed and maintained by the U.S.
Coast Guard.

Speaker 2 Aids to navigation include lighted and unlighted buoys, lighted and unlighted fixed structures such as day beacons, ranges, and lighthouses.

Speaker 2 For a lighthouse to be considered a federal aid to navigation, it must be clearly visible from a federal waterway as a reference point or to mark a hazard to navigation. Pause.

Speaker 1 Hank is thinking.

Speaker 1 When you said close to a waterway,

Speaker 2 a federal waterway.

Speaker 1 Hank's brain started to go into map mode. And

Speaker 1 I don't think Hank's map in his brain is very good.

Speaker 2 It's not up to date.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking Rhode Island.

Speaker 1 Hank has like four things in his map brain.

Speaker 2 You know, Rhode Island's not an actual island.

Speaker 1 Rhode Island, it's not that far off way of the water. Hank, could you draw us a map of America from memory?

Speaker 1 I could draw the outline.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So, Hank, so in other words, it's not a lighthouse if it's not visible from a federal body of water.

Speaker 1 And have that's, I mean, that's to be determined whether it is or not yet.

Speaker 2 No, I'm pretty sure the Coast Guard looked into that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what was your research, Hank?

Speaker 1 I was watching some videos trying to find

Speaker 1 some proof to prove PFT wrong.

Speaker 1 Okay. And I stumbled upon one of the greatest YouTube videos of all time.
Probably one of the most viewed videos ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Lighthouses rule. You don't like the lighthouse, you suck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, drinking out of cups. It's a great video.

Speaker 1 Hank, that was your research?

Speaker 2 I would actually submit that I love lighthouses so much that I want to protect them against imposters. Correct.
You, on the other hand, must hate lighthouses. You think everything's a lighthouse.

Speaker 1 PFT is like the people go around looking for stolen valor, but for lighthouses.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Mm-hmm.
Just like the Patriots aren't. You're not really being a true patriot if you can't acknowledge that the United States is not a good person.

Speaker 1 I am being a true patriot. I got to get on a boat.
I got to get on a boat and go up and down the sea line because I think there's some issues. I think there's a clear line of sight.

Speaker 2 No, there's not, Hank. You're wrong.
It's a fucked up, stupid lighthouse. They call it a non-traditional lighthouse.
Non-traditional lighthouse. The aka not a lighthouse.
Not a lighthouse.

Speaker 1 It identifies as a lighthouse, but we don't accept that identification.

Speaker 2 No, I don't. I don't.

Speaker 1 At all. Hank?

Speaker 1 The jury's out on whether or not you can see it from the water. I still think there's a chance.

Speaker 2 You think that this lighthouse should be able to compete against

Speaker 2 traditional lighthouse.

Speaker 1 This is a to be continued. Hank's going to do some more research.

Speaker 2 He's out of facts.

Speaker 1 There's no more. We'll update everyone on Monday.

Speaker 2 I fucking hate that thing.

Speaker 1 Hank will have to do some more fast researching. PFT, we were driving by an airfield.
He was going F35, F-16, that's a 22 bomber. I didn't say anything.

Speaker 1 I said F-16,

Speaker 2 F-5, F-14B.

Speaker 2 Wrong. And I was right about all three.

Speaker 1 You can't identify planes. You can't identify Lighthouse.
Well, you might be just structure-blind.

Speaker 2 I'll get into a plane off with you any day of the week, honey.

Speaker 1 I fucking love it. All right, to be continued.
Okay, but as far as the football field goes, the Jets have not beaten the Patriots since 2015, 14 consecutive losses.

Speaker 2 That's a long time.

Speaker 1 That's a long-ass time.

Speaker 2 Do you think the Patriots can play spoiler?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You do.

Speaker 2 They're ahead of you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they are. You actually, I think.
And everyone going into this game, I don't know what the preseason line was for this game, but the patch couldn't have been favored.

Speaker 2 I really do think that whoever

Speaker 2 loses this game, it's like it's a franchise destroyer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is a franchise-destroying game. Yeah.
I mean, was it last year, the punt return, one of the greatest games of all time, absolute barn burner? I'm expecting another one of those this year.

Speaker 1 Was that last year? Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is going to be the same exact game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's three to three. You got to be pretty nervous for this game, huh, meems?

Speaker 2 I'm pretty pumped.

Speaker 1 I think it's a win-win. Oh, you're pumped.

Speaker 5 I think it's a win-win.

Speaker 1 How?

Speaker 9 One.

Speaker 1 Positive side. You win.
They're both positive. Oh.

Speaker 5 Win, and the Patriots are dead. It's the first time the Patriots will start off 0-3 since 2000.
Bill Belichick's first season as Patriots head coach.

Speaker 1 Okay. And then...

Speaker 1 That's coming, actually winning. When was the last time they started 0-2?

Speaker 1 2001. What happened that year? They won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 But this would be 0-3. No, I know, I agree.

Speaker 1 It's good context if he's going to go into historical.

Speaker 2 But did you guys win the Super Bowl Bowl in 2000?

Speaker 1 No, we didn't.

Speaker 2 So if you lose this game, you'll be 0-3. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So this is the season.
Yeah. Okay.
That's very fair.

Speaker 2 I think it's the franchise. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then memes, other win.

Speaker 2 Other win.

Speaker 5 Zach Wilson has a humiliating game, and then you get a new quarterback the next week.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Speaking of Zach Wilson, do you know, I have a good stat for you.

Speaker 1 I have a good stat for you. We're watching some of the Niners Giants game.
I have a good stat for you, memes.

Speaker 1 Do you know Zach Wilson out of the 34 34 quarterbacks that have had 300-plus plays since the start of last season, he's actually not the worst?

Speaker 1 I did not know that. He's the second to worst.

Speaker 1 Who do you think the worst is?

Speaker 2 300-plus plays

Speaker 1 since the start of last season. Who's the worst quarterback statistically?

Speaker 2 The way you're asking makes me think it's going to be shocking.

Speaker 1 Mac Jones. No.

Speaker 1 That would have been cool. Deshaun Watson.
Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is

Speaker 1 Oh, Zach Wilson better than Deshaun Watson. Let's go.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to bump you up, bro. Let's go.
Okay. Hank, are you going to be betting on the Patriots? Yeah.
Yeah. You have to.
Okay, give us our nerd nugget.

Speaker 2 You said it already.

Speaker 1 Oh, which one?

Speaker 1 2015? The Patriots have beaten the Jets 14 straight times, and a win this week will match the team mark for most consecutive wins over an opponent.

Speaker 1 Parentheses, New England beat Buffalo 15 straight times from 2003 to 2010. That's so awesome.
Suck it, Bill's Mafia. That's so awesome.
And memes. You geek.

Speaker 2 That the Patriots have two of the longest winning streaks of all time

Speaker 2 against both divisional opponents.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, they've owned the division. You're somehow missing.

Speaker 1 I miss Jake.

Speaker 1 You don't like the voice? No, yeah, I miss Jake. I miss the real deal.
I miss it. I think the first one was good.

Speaker 2 Then you started feeling yourself a little bit too much, Hank. No, that wasn't the best.

Speaker 1 You think the geek was ad-libbed? That was the double parentheses. Okay, next game.
Chargers-Vikings. Loser leaves town.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 So, a couple things going on with the Chargers right now. Brandon Staley firmly on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm getting flashbacks to the Matt Nagy 2018 double doink and then the next season carryover because

Speaker 1 people are asking Brandon Staley about the Jacksonville loss in the playoffs. And so he's having to address that.

Speaker 1 As he should. He keeps saying that the Jacksonville loss hasn't carried on to this season whatsoever.

Speaker 1 If you've seen our training camp, if you've seen the way we played the first two games, it hasn't had any impact on our team whatsoever.

Speaker 1 I actually would disagree because we have seen the first two games. I'm going to say it's a carryover.

Speaker 2 He's in his own head, whatever it is. I don't know if it's actually the last playoff game because he started doing that a little bit last year.

Speaker 2 You remember, like, he started to get away from the super aggressive Brandon Saley, let's go for it on every fourth down, which would just drive people insane.

Speaker 2 He started kind of fading away with that when his defense was really good. Yeah.
Or he thought his defense was really good. Now his defense is not good at all.

Speaker 2 I think they're probably, what, the worst defense in the NFL? And he's a defensive head coach. And he's a defensive head coach.
So he's all fucked up in his own head right now.

Speaker 2 I don't think he knows what's a carryover and what is just like a carryover from last week or a carryover from yesterday or a carryover from five seconds ago when he's confused about what to do on the field.

Speaker 2 I think he's just fucked up and in his own head.

Speaker 1 Brandon Saley, maybe you're just a defensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 Not the worst headache.

Speaker 2 That's fine. That's fine.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of guys out there. Vic Fangio.
Yeah, Jack Del Rio. Yeah, there's a ton of guys.
Vance Joseph. Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a ton of guys. Brian Flores.
Brian Flores.

Speaker 1 On the Vikings.

Speaker 2 The Vikings defense is also not very bad.

Speaker 1 Also, very bad.

Speaker 2 So, this screams also, just the color scheme of these two teams playing each other, it screams over. This is a good over matchup.

Speaker 1 Well, it screams, I'm going to take the over, and then there will be like no less than three or four red zone turnovers. Yeah.
Where you're like, how is this game not over?

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it's going to be, I have this game on the TVs. It's going to be a fun game.

Speaker 1 Also, Also, the Vikings signed Cam Akers,

Speaker 1 which little throwback Cam Akers,

Speaker 1 the Twitter exchange that always makes me laugh when Cam Akers in 2021 said, I want a girlfriend, man. And then Captain Cush replied, I'm pushing 30, never had one.
Chase that money and dream, man.

Speaker 1 A girl will come along eventually. And he replied, with all due respect, I'm not trying to be like you, bro.
Yeah. Just totally dunked on a guy who was actually like being nice and genuine to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, no, I think the guy was,

Speaker 2 What was the Twitter avatar of the guy that replied?

Speaker 1 It was Captain Cush.

Speaker 2 Was it an ape? That sounds like an ape.

Speaker 1 No, he was just a guy with a sailor hat on.

Speaker 2 Not a board ape?

Speaker 1 Okay, Captain Cush. 0-0-0-3.
But yeah, Cam Akers, probably not going to change anything.

Speaker 1 I did see the funny joke that it was like Cam Akers got signed to the Vikings so that Alexander Madison's not the worst running back on the team anymore.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it feels like maybe the Vikings should have kept Dalvin Cook around. Maybe.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Instead of going with a guy that they think is Dalvin Cook in some of their press photos, they could have just stuck with a real guy.

Speaker 1 That's got to be such a bummer if you're a backup running back who gets all this probably and like, give him more carries, give him more carries.

Speaker 1 Because you get such a little amount of carries, everyone is like, look at his, look at his flash, look at his legs. And then you get the starting job.
It's like, oh, fuck, this is why I was a backup.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it just happens that he was getting in on downs when Dalvin was very, very tired and the defense was tired.

Speaker 1 Because Dalvin ran through him. Because Dalvin ran through him.

Speaker 2 And so now that he gets in with a fresh defense, it's like, wait,

Speaker 2 can we take back? Can we do a take-y-backy? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think Kevin O'Connell and Brandon Staley look a lot alike, too. I feel like they're cut from the same cloth.
Yeah. Might be related.
A little bit. I'm going to look into that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, reminder, because we have to remind everyone, the new nightmare, Kirk Cousins, 48, 38, and 2 against the spread at the noon slot, and then 21 and 34 against the spread

Speaker 1 3 p.m. or later.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I like Kirk in this.

Speaker 1 New nightmare. I like Kirk.

Speaker 2 I also don't think that's.

Speaker 2 I know it's easy to just point out the quarterback. Justin Herbert's been pretty good this year, though.
He's been okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's not the problem. The problem is.
He's been good.

Speaker 1 He's not great in the second half, though. His team's like,

Speaker 1 it feels like Justin Herbert is a great quarterback who, when you need to ice a game away or get first downs or get some of the, like even last week against the Titans, they get the ball in overtime three and out.

Speaker 1 Like, and I know they're trying to push the ball downfield more, which they should because he has an insane arm but yeah you gotta i feel like justin herbert has to i it's a lot to put on him but i think that the way they paid him and the way he's talked about he does have to have a couple hero ball games where it's like we won solely because of justin herbert yeah uh the good news for the chargers though austin eckler's probably

Speaker 1 there's not a lot but he's getting paid like one that's my point it's like it's not it's unfair to put that on him like daniel jones is not no he's not no he's not that guy but But there are certain guys where it's like you get talked about in a certain,

Speaker 1 you know, rarefied air that, yes, you are expected a couple games a year to have a game where it's like you were so fucking good that there was nothing the other team could do.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of what I'm looking for from Justin Herbert.

Speaker 2 This could be it.

Speaker 2 Austin Eckler being back is a big difference, too. Yes.
Huge difference. I feel like he's the one running back that isn't talked about the way that he should be, given how good he is.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Like he's really good, but I think people see a Chargers running back and they're like, well, they've always had a good running back, so should we really be giving this guy all the credit? No, Austin.

Speaker 2 I think Austin Eckler is good enough to give him all the credit.

Speaker 1 Very good. Nerd nugget.
Kirk Cousins has thrown 25 passes to wide receivers. Justin Zefferson.

Speaker 2 This is a different voice.

Speaker 1 The fourth most touchdown passes by a QB wide receiver duo in franchise history. The Tandem is just one score shy of tying quarterback Warren Moon and Chris Carter for third place all time.
Ooh. Okay.

Speaker 2 That really isn't isn't that interesting of a nerd nugget. The fourth most.

Speaker 2 They're close to being.

Speaker 1 We're on fourth most. Yeah, fourth most.

Speaker 2 That's not good.

Speaker 1 Okay. Fourth most.
And we're talking franchise history. Yeah.
Yeah. Fourth most watch.

Speaker 1 Who could forget? Fourth most. You think they'll stop the game?

Speaker 1 What is the other one? It's obviously Randy Moss and Culpepper. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then probably

Speaker 2 Gus Ferrat, Chris Carter. Probably Randy Moss and whoever came to the bottom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we kind of need more context here.

Speaker 1 Not to nitpick the nerve nuggets. Okay.
Next game on TV. Saints Packers.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Good game. Find out who's for real.
I don't think the Saints are. I actually don't think either team is that good.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think the Packers are very good either. I think they played a weak opponent in week one.
I don't know who that was.

Speaker 2 But I don't think either team is good. I agree with you on this because

Speaker 2 we saw Monday night. Derek Carr looked very humid.
The team looked

Speaker 2 kind of slow compared to Saints' offenses that I've seen in the past. As you said, like Taysom Hill, probably the best quarterback in that game.

Speaker 2 We're probably going to get a heavy diet of Taysom Hill again.

Speaker 2 I think I like the Saints, but I don't love either team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Saints, if they,

Speaker 1 the one speed guy, I mean, Olave is pretty fast. Did you see

Speaker 1 Mad Dogs pronounce his name as Olive? He's like, Olive had a touchdown. But Rashid Shaheed needs more play.
That guy's electric. And he's a great name to say.
He's good.

Speaker 2 Again, play Jameis.

Speaker 2 All the the complaints go away once you play Jameis Winston.

Speaker 1 We become a Saints podcast the minute you put Jameis Winston.

Speaker 2 Jameis 101 had a great graphic that he's been tweeting out recently. Have you seen it?

Speaker 2 It's the side-by-side comparison of Jameis Winston to Derek Carr, and then it lists probably 15 different stats on there. And all but two favor Jameis Winston.

Speaker 2 Some of them, there's like four that have asterisks on them. That's all you have to zoom in and read what the fine print is.
The fine print is actually

Speaker 2 if you counted games where Jameis Winston came in in mop-up duty in the fourth quarter and just like took knees every time or didn't throw the ball, he would be this much better than these current stats are.

Speaker 2 So the asterisks were actually the stats should be better than they are, but I kept them as the bad stats. And he's still better than Derek Carr.

Speaker 1 It's unfortunate, too, because a couple years ago, all the stats were Jameis Winston versus Dan Marino because it was all like before the age of 26.

Speaker 1 Jameis Winston, unfortunately, time is undefeated. He's getting older.
Now we're going Derek Carr versus Jameis Winston. Feels like it's slipping.

Speaker 2 Well, the good news is that if Jameis never starts another game, we still have the ability to look back and say, if he had started this many games, here's what his stats project to.

Speaker 2 Greatest quarterback ever. The greatest quarterback to ever live.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Nerd Nuggets, Saints Packers.

Speaker 9 The Packers have won.

Speaker 2 I can't do this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just do regular voice. Packers have won 10 consecutive home openers, longest current streak in the NFL since 2019.
The Packers also have the best record in the NFL at home, 27-6.

Speaker 2 That is Aaron Rodgers. Yes, an Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 1 Okay. Ball's here.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 continuing with the slate. Titans at Browns.

Speaker 1 Mike Florio wrote an article how Deshaun Watson should have been ejected from the game on Monday night. Why?

Speaker 1 He made contact with an official.

Speaker 2 Well, what was the official wearing?

Speaker 1 Do the official present themselves as

Speaker 2 somebody that wanted to be touched?

Speaker 1 Yeah. The failure to eject Deshaun Watson ultimately traces to money, said Mike Florio.
Okay, I

Speaker 1 wanted to keep watching. Follow the money.
Follow the money. Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 Let's follow the money.

Speaker 1 The guacamole. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Florio is looking at his contract and saying follow the money, but I don't know if he's thinking about like what fans would want to see necessarily.

Speaker 1 I feel bad because I do love, I love, love, love love Mike Florio. He is a dear friend.

Speaker 1 But this is just a sign that we need an NFL controversy because if this is what we're writing about, that Deshaun Watson bumping an official, he should have been ejected.

Speaker 2 The NFL wants very badly for Deshaun Watson to be on screen at all times representing the NFL. Correct.
Yes, that's what Florio's saying. Got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 we just, we got to get something going on. We got to get something going on for Florio.
This is a sad state if he's writing like two days after the fact that Deshaun Watson should have been ejected.

Speaker 2 You know, Florio's at his best when there's like a looming labor strike or like a lockout and he gets to dive into employment law and read contracts and shit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 When it comes to the actual like contact on a football field, that's when the takes really start to fly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. So

Speaker 1 we got to get something good for him.

Speaker 1 Mike Rabel is an underdog. That's all I'm thinking about in this game.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I like him.

Speaker 1 And no, Nick Chubb is brutal.

Speaker 1 It feels like this might be, if the Titans go into Cleveland and win this game, it might be it for the Titans.

Speaker 2 Well, Kareem Hunt's back.

Speaker 1 Is he officially?

Speaker 2 I think so. Did he sign?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're getting back into the Hunt business.

Speaker 1 Brown's really putting all moral standing aside.

Speaker 2 Getting them all back there. Yeah.
For Kareem Hunt. So I feel like

Speaker 2 I agree with you. I like the Titans in this position a lot.
I feel like the Titans and the Falcons feel very similar to me. They'll make your life very, very tough when you play against them.

Speaker 2 They're probably not going to do anything that flashy, but they'll beat the shit out of you for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I don't know if Cleveland has that toughness right now.

Speaker 1 They get you in a street fight. Nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 You got this.

Speaker 1 Derek Henry needs one more rushing touchdown to reach 80 for his career to become the seventh NFL player in the Super Bowl Air to reach 8,000 rushing yards and 80 touchdowns within his first eight seasons.

Speaker 1 Eric Dixon, Barry Sanders, Emma Smith, Sean, Alexander, Lee Day, and Thomas Adrian Peterson.

Speaker 2 If you're listening to this song like 1.5 speed, I feel very who is that?

Speaker 1 Who was the first?

Speaker 1 Derrick Henry. Got it.

Speaker 1 Derrick Henry.

Speaker 1 Needs one more rushing touchdown to reach 81st career.

Speaker 2 When does Tractor Cito season start?

Speaker 1 Until it gets a little cold.

Speaker 2 Yeah, late October. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. If you slow that down, though, that was perfect.
That was,

Speaker 1 except you mumbled Derrick Henry.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I didn't know who you said.

Speaker 1 I was a little bit trouble hearing that part.

Speaker 1 Texas Jaguars. Not a TV game.
Not a TV game at all. We are on a record watch.
We're on a record watch officially. Stroud boys stand up.

Speaker 1 CJ Stroud is 12 pass attempts away from breaking a record for most pass attempts by a rookie quarterback without throwing an interception.

Speaker 2 There we go. That's a good question.

Speaker 1 91 pass attempts. I like that it's pass attempts, not completions.
91 pass attempts,

Speaker 1 most by a QB in his first two starts without an interception. So he already has that record.
The record through three games is Warren Moon with 103. That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 Let's go, CJ. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I feel like we could maybe break that record if we were put out there long enough. Yeah.
Where we would just get hit and sacked and throw the ball out of bounds directly.

Speaker 2 Get a lot of intentional groundings.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Also, Trevor Lawrence is one and three against the Texans.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Texans kind of, I think they have the Jaguars' number, right? A little bit.

Speaker 2 That's a division that's filled with weird stats and teams that you wouldn't expect to always beat up on each other.

Speaker 2 But I feel like no matter how bad the Texans are, the Jaguars always play down to the level. Yes.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Not the most exciting game. I would like to see the Jaguars maybe

Speaker 1 look like a competent offense for four quarters.

Speaker 2 Yeah, put it together.

Speaker 1 Because Trevor Lawrence is phenomenal, but it doesn't feel consistent. No.
And we saw that against the Kansas City Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Not exactly. Yeah, nerd nugget.
Speed? No.

Speaker 1 I'm out. You're not built for speed.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Although I am fast. Why don't we just focus on being able to read?

Speaker 2 Well, the speed helps that with his adder roll.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, also, if he reads fast, he can make mistakes, and we can't figure out what the mistakes are. True.

Speaker 2 The Texans have beaten the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 No, just do, just talk. Max, you just do them again.
Just do your regular volume. The Texans have beaten the Jaguars.
The Jags have been five straight times.

Speaker 1 The last time the Jags beat the Texans at home was 2017 when quarterback Blake Arthur Bortles had a flawless game. 21st century.
His middle name is Arthur? 327. Maybe 19 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 What a great middle name for Blake. Blake Arthur Bortles.

Speaker 1 Oh, Bab.

Speaker 2 I love Babs. Oh, no, that's right.
His middle name is Blake. It's Robbie.

Speaker 1 Robbie Robbie. Robbie.
Yeah, Robbie, Robbie.

Speaker 1 Okay, Colts-Ravens to finish out the first slate. I feel like the Colts might be a little live in this game.

Speaker 2 Oh, Minshew. We're going to get a Minshew game.
And so, Minshew,

Speaker 2 he's good for one of those surprise-y games, especially considering how injured the Ravens are. So, I feel like the Colts are live-wire.

Speaker 1 They're live-wire. Yeah, I have this circle.
This is my live-wire game as well. Yeah, live-wire game of the week.
I do like the Ravens. I think they are

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 1 what we thought was going to be an incredible AFC. Obviously, Aaron Rodgers getting hurt, Joe Burrow being injured and not playing well.

Speaker 1 The Ravens are the one team that's looked good through two weeks. The Chiefs lost week one.
Like, the Ravens look, the Ravens and Dolphins are the two AFC teams.

Speaker 1 They can be like, ooh, they've looked pretty good out of the game.

Speaker 2 There are a couple games over the course of any given week where I feel so confident in one team that I spook myself out of it.

Speaker 2 So for this one, it was the Ravens for me. And when I'm ever too confident about something, I'm like, well, I'm dumb, so I must be wrong.

Speaker 2 So that's why I'm thinking that the Colts are a good team this week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, see, I'm the opposite, where I think the Colts are such a live wire, and they're going to cover this game with ease. I will most likely have to bet the Ravens.

Speaker 2 Okay, so we're fading ourselves

Speaker 2 into against each other. We are just a verbal meme.

Speaker 1 It's just PFT and Big Cat in a living room, both dogs chasing their tails.

Speaker 2 Well, what's great about this situation that we have is me and Big Cat will both be right about this game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just about which way we're right about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's actually like when two dogs are sitting on a couch together and like one dog tries to bite, like clean their leg and is actually biting the other dog's leg, and the other dog's like, What the fuck?

Speaker 2 That's not that's not your leg, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 That's what we're doing right now.

Speaker 2 More like a human centipede, maybe, because I we could we could both find a way to fuck this up. But yes, I don't know, I fade myself so hard on this, I'm thinking the Colts, and also like Minshew.

Speaker 2 You might get a spark from Minshew, yeah, you might get a spark.

Speaker 1 All right, late slate. Wait, did you give us your nerve nugget? No, Max, go back to it.
I want to hear Max. I want to hear Max's beautiful voice.
Max had the radio voice going for a second.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was good. good.

Speaker 1 Hank, you go. Why?

Speaker 1 Hank, go.

Speaker 1 Hank. Texas have beaten the.

Speaker 2 No, we just did that one. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 After last week's performance, Ravens, QB Lamar Jackson owns 22 performances with at least 200 passing and 50 rushing yards, tailing only Cam Newton and Russell Wilson for the most 250 games in NFL history.

Speaker 1 I miss Jake. These nerd nuggets don't hit the same.

Speaker 2 Because you don't have the passion. Right.
He's very passionate about that.

Speaker 1 He's got the passion. And then when we say, well, that stat was stupid, he's like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 He takes it very, like, personally.

Speaker 1 It's just, the magic is gone right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we could tell you that you're an idiot and your stats suck.

Speaker 1 He's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 1 All you guys do is just complain about shit that I say.

Speaker 1 When have I ever said that?

Speaker 1 All right. Panthers, Seahawks, late, slate.
Andy Dalton.

Speaker 2 Yep, let's go.

Speaker 1 Andy Dalton, let's fucking go.

Speaker 2 Andy Dalton is coming to town to fuck up everybody's survivor pool this weekend.

Speaker 1 Yes, last time Andy Dalton played in Seattle, he threw for 418 yards and a touch and two touchdowns in a loss. Oh.

Speaker 1 But he did it. He did that.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's Christian McCaffrey, not drugging. Oh, that was cool.
That's what I'm talking about too. Okay, so Andy Dalton is back.
I did a little, oh,

Speaker 2 you know, this is going to be fun.

Speaker 1 Andy Dalton, I always like watching Andy Dalton games.

Speaker 1 Made me think, oh, Andy Dalton's been in the league for a really long time. So then I went, followed the the rabbit hole real quick.
2011 draft. Great draft.

Speaker 1 A lot of really good players in that draft. Cam Newton, J.J.
Watt, a lot of really good players in that draft.

Speaker 1 Also saw a name that I hadn't thought about in a while. Did Julio Jones ever really retire?

Speaker 2 That's a good question. Yeah, right?

Speaker 1 I was like, wait, Julio Jones.

Speaker 2 I think he just silently washed up.

Speaker 1 He was on the Bucs last year. Yeah.
And then he just, nowhere.

Speaker 2 He just found a nice warm rock. Like that always climbed on top of it and sunned himself and fell asleep.

Speaker 1 That always blows my mind because you can't tell me that Julio Jones isn't better than some of the receivers that are out there.

Speaker 2 But he probably doesn't want to just not get paid anything at all to go out there and play. He's probably made enough money over the course of his career.

Speaker 1 But go play for the Chiefs. So then we can all tweet, be like, oh, Chiefs, too many receivers.

Speaker 2 They got another bullshit. Yeah.
Yeah, he could probably pick it or like the Bills.

Speaker 1 I'm shocked I didn't take Julio Jones on my fantasy team. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's it. No, that's a good point.
I don't think he ever officially retired.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 So I remember when he signed with the Bucks.

Speaker 2 When he signed with the Bucs, it felt like the last dance for him. Right.

Speaker 1 But he never said anything. Right.

Speaker 1 So, Julio Jones, Julio Jones and Larry Fitzgerald just hanging out together, not retired, but kind of retired. Yeah.
The 2011 draft, yeah, it was Cam Newton, Von Miller, Marcel Darius, A.J.

Speaker 1 Green, Patrick Peterson, then Julio Jones.

Speaker 2 Pretty good draft.

Speaker 1 Pretty good draft. And Andy Dalton in the second round.

Speaker 1 And J.J. Watt with the 11th pick.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this game,

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is just going to be.

Speaker 2 The problem with this game is we're going to pay very, very close attention to the first half of it because it's a 305, 405 kickoff. Right.
And we're going to have to watch it.

Speaker 2 I like the Panthers to cover the spread, but I like... They're not going to win, I don't think.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think they're going to win either.

Speaker 2 Because the defense isn't very good. Shaq Thompson's outright out for the season.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I want to take the Panthers, but I think I'm going to be smart.

Speaker 2 No, I'm going to be dumb. I'm going to take the Panthers.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 Max?

Speaker 1 He's ready to go.

Speaker 8 Now I'm ready. Despite playing on the East Coast, the Panthers are actually 7-4 over the last 10 years in regular season games on the West Coast.

Speaker 2 That's fun. Wow.
That's kind of fun. That is fun.
Over the past,

Speaker 2 how many years?

Speaker 8 10. 10 years.

Speaker 2 Some Cam Newton in his prime years there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Next

Speaker 1 I guess we got to talk about it. Bears and Chiefs.
So, the Bears had a day on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Just to rehash, I was actually happy we weren't recording a show that day because it did get a little crazy there in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 The Bears started the day. Their starting left tackle, Braxton Jones, was put on IR.
We don't know when he got injured. It was a neck injury.
Probably seems very severe.

Speaker 1 Maybe out for the rest of the season. Who knows? Bad news for the offensive line.
Oh, that's okay. It's nothing could get worse than that.

Speaker 1 Then Justin Fields

Speaker 1 did an interview where I actually liked what he said. And he basically said, I feel like I'm playing robotic and talking about the coaching, maybe getting too much in his head.

Speaker 1 He's got to say, fuck it. I'm just going to go out there and ball, play with more feel.

Speaker 1 That I didn't think was that crazy, but it became a big thing. And we'll get more to that.

Speaker 1 And then after that, the Bears defensive coordinator, that if you haven't been following, stepped away from the team for no reason that anyone could understand, wasn't there for the Bucs game.

Speaker 1 He filed his resignation by printing out on his home computer and then taking a picture of it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's the Notes app. It's the Notes app for a 50-year-old, for boomers.

Speaker 1 Taking a step back to take care of my health and family. Then it started a flurry of rumors that got a little out of hand.
We still don't really know what's going on.

Speaker 1 We do know the fact that he hired a lawyer who then released the statement. Kind of feels like whenever you hire a lawyer in these situations, maybe it's not just health and family.

Speaker 1 But again, we don't know. Speculation was pretty insane on Wednesday afternoon.
Then after that,

Speaker 1 Justin Fields did another press conference or media scrum where he clarified what he was saying, saying, I didn't mean to blame the coaching. It's all on me.

Speaker 1 Then they cut Nathan Peterman, who then they re-signed on Thursday.

Speaker 1 And this all happened on Ryan Pohl's birthday.

Speaker 2 That's a tough day for Ryan.

Speaker 1 You think he got a cake?

Speaker 2 Was he

Speaker 2 like in the middle of blowing out the candles?

Speaker 1 Welcome to the 38 Club, Ryan Poles.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sorry, man. That was probably a very big bummer of a day.
You left one thing out, Big Gat. There was also a video that came out of DJ Moore talking to a player on the opposing team.

Speaker 2 I forget who he was talking to last week, and they're like, hey, man, they're not using you right. And he was like, yeah, tell me about it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, and also Javon Brisker liked a tweet of someone being like, the Bears are a dumpster fire. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I said afterwards that he did that to keep receipts. I'm like, dude, those receipts are never like we're, you can't get a refund on that.

Speaker 2 That's why you use bookmarks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's that. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I want to stand up for Justin Fields for a little bit here. Yes.
Because what he said wasn't that bad. No, it was good.
But he was being honest, and we want honesty from players, right?

Speaker 2 We want them to be genuine when they're talking to the media. And then the media are real dickheads about it.
And they get one little snippet, and then they just start talking about it.

Speaker 2 I can't believe you you said the word coaching. Well, yeah, no shit.
Definitely some of it's coaching. For whatever reason, the coaching is making him robotic.
It's not working.

Speaker 2 What they're trying to do isn't working. He said that honestly, and then they're like, oh man, he said coaching.
That means he hates his coach. And then they go on and on.

Speaker 2 Justin Fields is not going to give another interview where he says anything remote, remotely close to the truth

Speaker 1 or interesting. But also,

Speaker 1 right with everything he says.

Speaker 2 And then you're going to complain about him not being friendly with the media and be like, why won't this guy give us any good information? Why is he being so short with us?

Speaker 2 Well, because you fucked him. Yeah.
Because you fucked him over.

Speaker 1 Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It was one of those situations where what Justin Fields said, I thought was good.
He basically was like, I have to stop overthinking.

Speaker 1 The coaches are doing their job during the week.

Speaker 1 Once we get to the game, I have to play my game, which hopefully means he's going to run some more and be the Justin Fields we saw at the end of last season.

Speaker 1 And then everyone took it to be like, he blamed his coaches. It sucks.
I just,

Speaker 1 even for the Bears, this is record speed for them to become a complete and utter circus. It was this season.
This season,

Speaker 1 and guess what? They get to go play the Kansas City Chiefs this weekend. And guess what? Also,

Speaker 1 this probably won't come up right, PFT, this graphic.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes is.

Speaker 2 What pick was he in the draft?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he was pick 11, I think.

Speaker 2 And what pick was Mitch? Mitch was two.

Speaker 1 You think they're going to bring that up? They might bring that up, but no, we got a new one that even hurts even more.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes has the highest winning percentage for a QB in NFL history at 79.3%.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, Justin Fields has the lowest winning percentage of any NFL in NFL history or QB in NFL history with 18.5%.

Speaker 1 I have a feeling that's going to show up. So, yeah.
So, yeah, the Bears had that whole thing happen on Wednesday, and then they have to go play the Kansas City Chiefs.

Speaker 1 And again, this season, it's even for the Bears. I am shocked with how quickly, like, the Bears have had circus seasons.
They've had dumpster dumpster fire seasons.

Speaker 1 They've had seasons where they're a complete laughing stock. This happened way faster than I thought.

Speaker 2 And a lot of it happened in the span of like 12 hours. Yeah.
It was just the worst day ever to go through.

Speaker 2 And then Max said something really dumb today, which was, I'm thinking about betting on the Bears.

Speaker 1 Well, he said Bears' money line. I said, I actually think the Bears are going to be in this game.
I don't think they're going to win the game.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be live in this game because I do think what Justin Fields basically said is, I'm going to fucking, fuck it. I'm running.
And I'm going to run past everyone.

Speaker 2 Do you think the day was so bad that it's like us against the world now? Because I think it quite literally is the Bears against the entire world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, although they don't have a defensive coordinator.

Speaker 2 Did they have one before?

Speaker 1 Still don't know what happened,

Speaker 1 which is weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I do think they're going to give their best effort, but unfortunately for them, their best effort's probably not going to be enough.

Speaker 2 How soon until we get a players-only meeting? I mean, they should go players-only.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the whole thing is just a complete dumpster. Oh, and and just cherry on top, they have not won a game in almost a calendar year.
Yeah. We're getting close to a calendar year.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I am, on Sunday night, I was emotional. I am back to believing in Justin Fields because I have no other option, and I do desperately want him to be good

Speaker 1 because I like him a lot. But yeah,

Speaker 1 this is a complete

Speaker 1 clown

Speaker 1 car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a complete joke, and I'm excited. Yeah, this is going to be a fun game.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 it well everybody in the world is gonna be betting on the chiefs i the more the more we talk about the more i am convinced that it is the bears against the world like nobody nobody even you don't really believe them that much no i believe i believe that they're gonna cover the spread yeah i think winning the game max you want to get sick with it it's hard i mean now i have to but it's hard to say that they are gonna win a game when they haven't won a game yeah in almost a calendar year but this is the one the chiefs don't look that great

Speaker 2 the offense looks slow. Yeah, no.
It's a revenge game against Matt Nagy. You haven't even brought that up.

Speaker 1 The Chiefs, well, it's a reverse. Matt Nagy revenge game against the Bears.

Speaker 2 Who do you think hates the other person more? The Bears hating Matt Nagy or Matt Nagie?

Speaker 1 These guys on this Bears team don't really...

Speaker 1 A lot of them weren't there for Matt Nagy, so I think it might be Matt Nagy hating the Bears. Either way,

Speaker 1 the Chiefs' defense is the quiet story of the first two games. They have been very good.
And so that makes me very nervous. The Chiefs' offense has not shown their best.

Speaker 1 I also think we might get a best from the Chiefs' offense because the Bears' defense sucks. Now I'm talking myself back out of it.
Either way, this game's going to be fun.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for football on Sunday. But Sunday.

Speaker 2 Think about this with Matt Nagy. You watched him week one when he had an entire offseason to drop weird

Speaker 2 third and one plays that bottom of nowhere.

Speaker 2 He is going to be looking at this as a big revenge game. That means he's going to really let the freaky shit fly.
And the freakier shit that Matt Nagy comes up with is really, really bad.

Speaker 1 Counterpoint. Counterpoint.
The Bears don't have a defensive coordinator. Obviously, Eberflus is a defensive coach.
He's going to be calling the plays.

Speaker 1 And they don't have very good players on defense.

Speaker 1 Just a counterpoint.

Speaker 2 I think Matt Nagy might just psych himself out of this one. I would love it.

Speaker 1 I would love it. All right.
We've got a nerd nugget. This one's going to hurt.

Speaker 1 I can already tell.

Speaker 1 Nerd nugget.

Speaker 1 Chiefs' tight end. Travis Kelsey is currently banging Taylor Swift every single night

Speaker 1 for the last consecutive 112 nights. Only Titans wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins has had a longer active streak with 147.

Speaker 1 That was a great nerd nugget. All right, Max, go ahead.
Give us the real one.

Speaker 8 It was close to that. Chiefs tight end Travis Kelsey currently holds the second longest active streak of consecutive games played with a pass reception at 144.

Speaker 8 Only Titans wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins has a longer active streak with Oh,

Speaker 1 nice, Hank.

Speaker 2 That was a good improv.

Speaker 1 I thought you fully improved it.

Speaker 1 Filled in the blanks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I think that Travis Kelsey is not actually dating Taylor Swift. I think that this is, listen, we've been in the podcast game for a long time.
We know it does numbers. Jason Kelsey is a very smart guy.

Speaker 2 I think him going on the air and saying the rumors are 100% true, you don't say 100% if your brother's dating Taylor Swift. You just say, yeah, they've been seeing each other.

Speaker 2 They're getting along really well. You don't go with the 100% route.

Speaker 1 We've talked about this phenomenon before, but this is one of those stories that I missed the start and I've just missed the whole thing.

Speaker 2 Okay, so Travis, so I've just tried to send Taylor Swift a bracelet after he saw her concert. Got it.
Didn't get to her, and now they reconnected. Now they're hanging out quietly, right?

Speaker 1 Quietly.

Speaker 2 They're seeing each other quietly.

Speaker 1 Okay, quietly.

Speaker 1 All right, Cowboys, Cardinals,

Speaker 1 last game before Sunday night football, Trayvon Diggs, ACL. That sucked.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 In practice, I got to say, and this is going to sound fucked up, but if you lose a great player for the season, it really sucks when it's practiced because at least I want to see it.

Speaker 1 I do. I knew what you were going to say.
But it's the truth. You at least want to see it happen so you can go through the emotions of like, oh no, he's down.
Oh, no, this is bad. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's an injury. But listen, don't you think that you, like, I want to see it happen.
I don't want to just get a fucking Adam Schefter treat being like, Trayvon Diggs, torn ACL in practice.

Speaker 2 There's a tree falls in the forest. I want to know if his own teammate did it to him.
Right.

Speaker 1 If it was a false

Speaker 2 non, usually they'll say a non-contact practice injury. Right.
This sounds like it was a contact practice injury.

Speaker 1 I want to know.

Speaker 2 That means they might be protecting somebody that tore his ACL. Yes.

Speaker 1 I want to know. I want to know exactly how it went down.

Speaker 1 Did Michael

Speaker 2 Parsons do his little like tiger crawl into Diggs' knee? Right. That's what I'm going to assume happened.

Speaker 1 And there's definitely a difference. I know there's not, but just hear me out here.
If a guy tears his ACL

Speaker 1 and it was a non-I feel like ACLs aren't exciting injuries to watch.

Speaker 2 They can be.

Speaker 1 And the only reason.

Speaker 1 I sound fucked up. I feel like half drunk because we've been doing shit all day and it's been a long day.

Speaker 1 I like ACLs just because when they grab the top of their shin, I'm like, ooh, ACL.

Speaker 1 I feel like a doctor. I feel like a doctor.
It's the only injury that I can actually tell when it happens because they grab that part of the top of their shin and I'm like, yep, ACL.

Speaker 1 What I was going to say, though, is if an ACL happens or an injury happens, it's a non-contact injury, I can at least come to grips with it being like, that was going to happen no matter what.

Speaker 1 That was a ticking time bomb. Whereas like a Nick Chubb thing,

Speaker 1 you grieve in a different way because you're like, fuck, this is such fucked up shit that this happened. That is such a fluke thing that just happened.
And you can be angry for a different direction.

Speaker 1 Either way,

Speaker 1 the whole point point of this is I want to see it. I want to see it to be able to grieve properly.
I think Cowboys fans will back me up.

Speaker 2 I think they want to know what happened. Right.
You want to know what happened for sure. You want to know who to blame.
You want to know what to blame. Do we blame the practice field? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did it happen during a play?

Speaker 2 Is it the sod? Do we need to tell Jerry to get new sod?

Speaker 2 Did he slip on like one of those grates when you're walking out of the tunnel onto the field? Did someone roll up on him?

Speaker 2 Did he get rolled up on? Was he doing a

Speaker 2 drill that was too physical that he should have been doing at practice? Right. Can we get mad at the coaches coaches about it? Give it to me.

Speaker 2 Did Dan Quinn throw up when he saw it? Yeah. Like, how bad was it?

Speaker 1 I want to see all of these. I would love, man.

Speaker 2 I mean, seeing Russ throw up would be great. Seeing Jerry Jones puke would be awesome.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it would. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It would be a weird color. Yeah, it would just be a good one.
It would be a lot of blood.

Speaker 2 It would be blood and glitter from the surfer.

Speaker 1 Blood, for sure. All right, Max, give us a stat.
Oh, by the way, the Cowboys are going to win this game.

Speaker 1 Cowboy?

Speaker 2 Yes, Cowboys. The Cardinals' defense is real, though.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys are real. It was so real.
So real.

Speaker 1 28 half.

Speaker 1 In the second half,

Speaker 2 it started to rain.

Speaker 1 It did start to rain. It was so real.

Speaker 8 Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott will play his 100th career game in week three against the Cardinals.

Speaker 8 He does suck, but he is the only player in NFL history with at least 150 touchdown passes and 25 rushing touchdowns in his first 100 games. A lot of picks in there, too.
You got to throw that.

Speaker 2 I'm still mad that he hasn't thrown an interception this year.

Speaker 1 Well, the offense has been very vanilla because they haven't had to play. They haven't had any games.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let Dak cook. Right.
Really unleashed Dak this game.

Speaker 1 Okay, last year.

Speaker 2 Is Who De Baker playing Max?

Speaker 8 No, he's on the IR, but that's probably like a ploy for him to get traded to the Eagles.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 They're doing an IR ploy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, guys.

Speaker 8 This is a Jonathan Taylor thing.

Speaker 1 It's definitely a ploy.

Speaker 1 Okay, Steelers at Raiders Sunday Night Fight. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, you remember Jonathan Taylor? Yeah. What's going on with him?

Speaker 1 The Browns should call him.

Speaker 2 The Browns should absolutely 100% call him. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Or the Vikings.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Steelers at Raiders.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this game's going to stink because the Steelers play very boring football.

Speaker 2 They can't play any worse. They can't play any worse on offense.

Speaker 1 And the Raiders' defense is not good, so maybe

Speaker 1 if Matt Canada can't get an offense going against the Raiders,

Speaker 1 then just don't let him back on the plane.

Speaker 2 We gave all the stats about the Steelers. The craziest one was that they didn't run a single play inside the 30-yard line, and they won.
Yeah, I don't know when the last time that's ever happened.

Speaker 1 It's quite shocking.

Speaker 2 They need to score at least one offensive touchdown on a drive that lasts more than like five plays. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I'd like to see two first downs and then a touchdown on a drive by the Steelers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that'd be nice. That would be nice.
Yeah. Maybe like a couple runs mixed in, maybe a play action pass, and then like a 20-yard touchdown.
Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Should we do our picks? So standings

Speaker 1 for the, what are we, what are we, what are we calling, for the major league bracket? And then we'll have a triple-A. I don't know what we call it.
So if you remember, if you missed last week's show,

Speaker 1 the punishment is still staying the same. Vegas show, one hour for the loser, 15 minutes for the runner-up,

Speaker 1 15-minute opener. And we've split it up.
So it's Max, Memes, and Jake in one bracket. They will be, one of those three guys will do the opening act for 15 minutes.
Me, PFT, and Hank, Hank.

Speaker 1 One of us will do the hour-long show in Vegas. Right now, I'm at 3-0-1.
Hank's at 1-2-1. PFT is 1-3.

Speaker 1 And then in the little kids' table, Jake's 3-1. Max is 1-3.
Memes is 1-3.

Speaker 1 Still early. Still very, very early.

Speaker 2 One good weekend makes up for anything.

Speaker 1 But there is a problem right now. I did point out to PFT, he is in last in all of our bets right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but my team's 2-0.

Speaker 1 Which is pretty cool. It's true.
That's true.

Speaker 2 What did it cost you? Everything?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so dingers only, PFT is going to lose. Pancake,

Speaker 1 Hank is just running away with it. He's got 18, and PFT is in the last with two.

Speaker 2 I would like to see Lane Johnson put a couple pancakes on films.

Speaker 1 That's some pancakes. Okay, picks.
Who's going first?

Speaker 2 This time.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 first week one. Yeah, he'll pick first week one, big hat.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I'm taking Saints plus one and a half.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Okay.
Saints plus one and a half.

Speaker 8 I will be taking the Chicago Bears plus 12 and a half.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 2 That's a lot of points. A lot of points.
They pay these guys to play football, too, Max.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake is going to take the Lions minus three,

Speaker 1 so that he sent me his picks in the preferences. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm going to take the over in Bill's Commanders.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I like it.

Speaker 2 I like that. Let's get some points going.

Speaker 1 I like it a lot.

Speaker 5 What's the number?

Speaker 2 43 and a half.

Speaker 1 Hank? I am going to take the under in Chargers Vikings.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Gross.

Speaker 1 54 and a half. Yeah, that's gross.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of points. How dare you? That's a lot of points.
Yeah, but that's a fun.

Speaker 2 You want that to be fun, Hank. How dare you?

Speaker 1 Why can't you root for fun once in your life? If it was 52, I could root for fun. 54 and a half is too many.
Okay, I have two picks. I'm going to take the Bengals minus three.

Speaker 1 I actually think this is the Bengals week to write the ship.

Speaker 1 I've been the Bengals whisperer.

Speaker 1 I've nailed them both weeks, and now's the time. Now's the time to get ready.
A little extra rest for Joey B, Monday night football, Bengals minus three.

Speaker 1 And then I will take

Speaker 1 under Steelers Raiders 42.5. I just don't.

Speaker 1 Steelers just don't.

Speaker 1 Their offense. Doesn't that scream of like a 17-13 game? It does.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Great uniform matchup, though.

Speaker 1 Great uniform matchup. Old school matchup.
Classic. Dolphins, minus six and a half.
Oh, you bitch.

Speaker 1 He bitched you. You're a bitch.
Got him.

Speaker 2 I'm going to take the Patriots minus two and a half. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice.

Speaker 2 Let's go, Hanks. Two and a half.
All right,

Speaker 2 getting away from that lighthouse is going to be good for him.

Speaker 1 Jake will take the Eagles, Bucs over 46.5.

Speaker 1 And there is the game for the Niners, which we already talked about. Debo.
Who was just out with a season-ending injury two seconds ago? He healed himself. Yeah.
Kittle. He's Wolverine.

Speaker 1 No, and Kittle has has caught a million passes tonight.

Speaker 1 Max.

Speaker 8 I am taking Bill's commanders under

Speaker 1 43.5. All right.

Speaker 1 I think that's good for you. You think so?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, our defense is awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I think the only way the commanders win that game is under.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Memes, give it to us.

Speaker 2 Give it to us.

Speaker 5 I don't like it, but Ravens, Colts, 44.5 over.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Okay.
Nice. By the way, I think we should get wings this week

Speaker 2 Uber Eats. I mean, I would love some wings.

Speaker 1 You can get almost anything at Uber Eats. Order now.
Uber Eats. Do it right now.
Almost, almost anything. I think we go wings Sunday night.
You feeling that? Yeah. You feeling what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 All right. Let's, before we get to Brooks Kepka, let's do a little fantasy lad boy.

Speaker 9 Experian is your big financial friend, helping you find ways to save, manage your credit, and apply for cards labeled No Ding Decline.

Speaker 1 No approval?

Speaker 2 No ding.

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Speaker 2 what music do we use for this i don't know

Speaker 1 oi oi boy oi mates oi oi mates what's a good one then how are we doing gentlemen hey gentlemen hey gemin we get along very very well my name is ricky elliot and i'll start on this week

Speaker 1 is Stephen A. Smith.
Stephen A.

Speaker 2 Smith.

Speaker 2 What are you doing then? Guys got a fucking cannon on off the pitch.

Speaker 1 Get him on the cricket pitch. Get him throwing some between the wickets.

Speaker 2 Oh, the first pitch he threw.

Speaker 9 He'd be a great cricketer.

Speaker 1 How'd it go? It bounced.

Speaker 2 Dounced.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but if you're looking at it from a cricket perspective, it's A1.

Speaker 2 I guess that's why Shannon calls him skip.

Speaker 2 It's Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 1 Oh, right.

Speaker 1 Cloud chasing wannabe celebrity. He's not dating Taylor Swift.
He's just trying to get some podcast bump.

Speaker 2 Hands off for Riety, right?

Speaker 1 And what's sleeper?

Speaker 2 Sleeper? It's mad dog Russo.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Russo. Russo.
He was on Claire Steak

Speaker 1 talking about taking edibles,

Speaker 1 getting a couple cocktails, and watching Colorado. And I said, hey, Leo meme.

Speaker 1 Me too. Yes, too.

Speaker 2 Smoking that wacky tobacco.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Alright, hey, what's up?

Speaker 2 I'm Blake Blue.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 2 Blake Blue. Might be Australian, not sure yet.
Not sure where my mum's from.

Speaker 2 I'm starting Drake London. Drake London, great name.
Drake, Drake. London.
Drake London?

Speaker 1 London's calling you.

Speaker 2 London's calling you, Drake, right now.

Speaker 2 We like Drake London this weekend. Lots of Atlanta Falcons in it.
And then I'm sitting brushing your teeth. Brushing your teeth.
Just drink some cider, innit?

Speaker 1 Just drink cider. Drink some cider.

Speaker 2 Good as good as nothing.

Speaker 2 We're just normal men. We're just innocent men.
My sleeper is soup. It's not soup season yet.
Many folks have been saying it's time for soup season.

Speaker 2 You can eat soup all you like all year round, but it's not soup season quite yet. Not yet.
You hold on the soup season that you're chasing online with

Speaker 2 the bait is

Speaker 2 a soup. Guinness is a soup.

Speaker 1 Guinness is

Speaker 1 barley soup.

Speaker 1 It's coffee is soup. Coffee's bean soup.
Coffee's a bean soup.

Speaker 2 Everything's a soup.

Speaker 1 It's a bean soup.

Speaker 2 My body's just blood soup, in it. Blood soup and water.

Speaker 1 Water soup. Water soup.

Speaker 1 The human body is just.

Speaker 2 It's blood, water, water, water. Snot and cum soup.
Cum soup. Come soup.

Speaker 1 My, hey, oi. Oi, oi, oi.
Cheerio. What's a good one? It's Eugene Bottom Snatcher.
The bottom snatcher. Eugene, I'll snatch those bottoms from you.
Hold on to your body. Watch out, ladies.

Speaker 1 I'll snatch them bodies with my little pincher grip. My stardom is the Echoes.
We're waking them up this weekend. Know the name.

Speaker 1 Versus fucking Irish.

Speaker 1 Verse Ohio State. Great game Saturday night.
I don't even know what accent I'm doing. Great game Saturday night.

Speaker 2 I'm excited. Fuck the Irish.
Fuck those.

Speaker 7 I'm excited.

Speaker 1 The peaky blonde is.

Speaker 1 My name is Arthur Fucking Shelby.

Speaker 1 We're going to be back.

Speaker 1 My sit-em is

Speaker 1 the cops. The cops stink.
They stink, they stink, they stink. And then my sleeper is Rupert Murdoch.

Speaker 1 He retired.

Speaker 2 Oh, that little Australian cunt.

Speaker 1 That guy's gonna die soon.

Speaker 2 I meant cunt in a good way. He's gonna die soon.

Speaker 1 Right. He's like Jopa.
You take him out. You take him out of this job.

Speaker 2 He's gonna die. He doesn't have anything to do.
No more news to produce. Which one of his kids is gonna take over?

Speaker 1 Lachlan.

Speaker 1 I answered him.

Speaker 1 I fucking answered him. I was gonna say Kindle.

Speaker 2 No, it's Lachlan. Lachlan's gonna take over, you fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 You ignorant slut, you.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Rupert Vurdoch, he's going to fall down some stairs and die.

Speaker 1 I'm going to call my shault right now. He's dead.
How old is that? How old is he? He's a dead fucker. He's dead.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 7 I'm so excited for Saturday, by the way.

Speaker 2 Saturday is the best slate of college football I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 1 Oh, six ranked versus ranked matchups. And on top of that, Florida State and Clemson play to start the day.
So,

Speaker 1 have you decided? Yeah, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 Ohio State, I think. Yeah, yeah.
Where are you going? I don't know. That's the thing I kind of want to not drink this weekend.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I'm going to make the game. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
I got to hit up Titus.

Speaker 2 We'll just drink on Friday then.

Speaker 1 But then I want to beat the whole game. That's the weekday.

Speaker 2 That's what I said. He doesn't want to drink on the weekend, so drink on Friday.

Speaker 1 That's actually, it's going to be an awesome game. I'm so excited for that game.
And it's going to be, I think, very close. So you really need a game that can't be a blowout for a second.

Speaker 1 So you can just be there. That's what I would, yeah.
I would like to actually get into one of these games. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's got to be a lot of Ohio State players.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Have you guys seen the flight aware maps of the guys that draw the college football logos with airplanes before each weekend? Yes.

Speaker 1 They're awesome.

Speaker 2 I don't know who's doing that.

Speaker 2 They did an elephant for Alabama and had the eyes and the tusks in the route that a plane flew.

Speaker 1 I think it flew flew over Alabama. Those guys are awesome.
Hank, I have a solution for you. You don't have to drink,

Speaker 1 or you could just drink a couple Coors Lights while you watch it. I think Big Ev and Titus are streaming that game.
So you just come and stream.

Speaker 1 Get Ohio State Jersey and just go fucking nuts with them. Bet a big bet on Ohio State.
Go nuts. Be like a kind of a scumbag.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wear your jean shorts, your Cowboys jean shorts. Maybe some Timberlands.
You got some Timberlands?

Speaker 1 no i got some uggs oh okay that's not ohio state that's cheesy guys do you still have your earrings no i want to see hank show up to work it's also just like knowing that we're going to be getting frank the tank and shane gillis notre dame clips yeah that's hard to go against yeah but someone's got to stop them

Speaker 1 if those two guys win this game they're going to take over the world i know i want that it's the greatest combo of all time that's the world i want to live in literally the greatest combo of all time That's the world I want to live in.

Speaker 1 It's like if aliens came down and like, give us your two best men, it'd be like Shane and Frank.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine if Notre Dame won the college football title and then Shane and Frank were just like parting their asses off like as winners together?

Speaker 1 Shane's drinking a thousand beers, Frank drinking a thousand Cokes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or just like birch beer cream sodas.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I mean, if you think that people hate Notre Dame fans now,

Speaker 2 just wait until they win this game.

Speaker 1 If they win this game, the Sam Hartman hype is going to be insane. Good looking dude, by the way.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview with Brooks Kepka. PFT, you got a quick word for one of our sponsors before we do that?

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Brooks Kepka. We just golfed with him.
He's about to be in the Ryder Cup. Let's start.
No spoilers, because we got the video coming out soon.

Speaker 1 Max is right on it. He's going to have it out very, very quickly.

Speaker 1 Great our golf game. No spoilers.
Tell us what we are.

Speaker 1 What would you say, like where we're at? The three

Speaker 1 PFT shocked me. PFT was very,

Speaker 2 I shocked myself. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So, you know what? I actually feel sorry for you, Brooks. I do, because you're good at golf.
So, when you go out there, you're not really like that happy.

Speaker 2 If you hit a good shot, you're like, Yeah, that's what I'm supposed to do.

Speaker 1 I suck at golf.

Speaker 2 So, if I hit one good shot, I feel like magic is coursing through my blood. I feel like I'm the best golfer in the world for just that one instance.
You don't get that anymore because you're so good.

Speaker 2 So, I don't know. Maybe like, maybe if you suck at golf, it's actually better than being good at golf.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just suck more. Yeah.
What did you think about my use of driver? Uh, on everything. It was a lot.
A lot of

Speaker 1 drivers. I love that, though.
Maybe too much driver. Yeah.
You actually got addicted to it that you even tried it yourself, which I did.

Speaker 1 Is that like, are there certain things that would, if you did them in, let's say, a major,

Speaker 1 you don't do like driver off the deck because people will be like, what an idiot, even though it might be the right shot. I mean, we could try it.
Right.

Speaker 1 But are do you, in the back of your head, you're like, I'd rather not be criticized for this shot, even though Driver Off the Deck is the play?

Speaker 1 Well, I think going forward, I'll think about that play a little bit. Yeah, going forward, Augusta next year missed the first screen.
It's like, oh, it's going to be a driver.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I feel like

Speaker 1 it's just so frowned upon for professional golfers to go driver off the deck. Like, be free.
It's like, hey, sometimes driver off the deck is the play. Got to hit the big stick sometimes.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What about wearing shorts during a major? Shock the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, what's the ruling on that?

Speaker 2 I I think you're allowed to wear a kilt, but you can't wear shorts. Is that true?

Speaker 2 That seems racist against Americans.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll ask Ricky. I feel like he would know more, right? Yeah, right.
So let's talk about that. Your caddy is from Northern Ireland.
Yeah. You're about to play in the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 1 Are you worried at all about this fact? Because

Speaker 1 he was saying that Rory's his favorite golfer of all time. Yeah, right.
And you're about to go up against him. I know.

Speaker 1 So is there a part of you that's like, if it comes down to it, you're like, can I trust this guy?

Speaker 1 Never thought about it like that. Yeah.
But I think he's got his American passport, right? I mean, we got to count him. Okay.
Yeah. I feel like we can count them.
A lot of people passports.

Speaker 1 I don't know. How long has he been your caddy?

Speaker 1 Ooh, 10 years? 10 years. All five majors.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Has he been your caddy during a rider cup before?

Speaker 1 Yes. All the other ones.

Speaker 2 How was he?

Speaker 1 Well, we lost, I think, two of them. Interesting.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. Just throwing out stats.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if we're looking at stats, I think that you might have them all.

Speaker 1 No, no, we won what? We won in 16. We won in 20, 18, we lost.
Yeah, so okay, we're 2-1. We're on the winning side of that.
But this will be the deciding factor this week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we are like about we're a week away from the Ryder Cup. How pumped up does the Ryder Cup make you?

Speaker 1 Because it feels like everyone we talk to, it's obviously you're not even playing for money, but it feels like everyone is just more excited to play in the Ryder Cup than pretty much any other event.

Speaker 1 It's pretty cool. It's definitely the most nervous I've been my entire life.

Speaker 1 Like, dude, if you were in a football stadium, people screaming on the first T, and then it just goes deathly silent. Yeah.
It's the weirdest feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 Like, imagine playing football and it's just dead silent. Yeah.
It's pretty crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So you're, you said it's the most nervous you've been playing golf. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Depends what you're hit.
If you're hitting driver, first hole, it's a whole lot easier. But if you got like an iron, three wood, you know, bigger face, you can hit it.

Speaker 1 Wait, do you get nervous for majors? No, not like that. No.
I view it as like excitement, right? Like you get a little jittery or whatever it means, but like it's, I'm excited to hit the nazaj.

Speaker 2 You know what? I've heard that it's a privilege to be nervous because it means that you put yourself in a situation where there's expectation on you.

Speaker 1 Pressure is a privilege. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Wait, so when you go into a major, though, are you

Speaker 1 not nervous at all? You're just excited to play. What about if you have a lead, let's say, hypothetically, like a big leader, there's rain.

Speaker 1 Nerves?

Speaker 1 No. Not even if people are like slow play.
They're already designing.

Speaker 2 If people are designing t-shirts already with your name on it, like congrats, Brooks. That's five.

Speaker 2 If people are doing that, you don't feel extra pressure at all?

Speaker 1 No, because we got five. We got five.

Speaker 2 Now we got five.

Speaker 1 Did you feel very smart when you said you figured something out at Augusta? And everyone's like, what is Brooks talking about? And it was like, he's literally just saying he's going to walk slower.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's exactly what it is. Just slow play everybody else.
That would

Speaker 1 play at my own speed, right? Right. It's easy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So, so at the Ryder Cup, Big Cat mentioned it.
You guys don't get paid anything. anything.
I feel like the players should get paid.

Speaker 2 That's basically the NCAA tournament all over again, except for golfers. You guys get paid.

Speaker 1 Ruining a gig.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 it's about pride. It's about your country, which is great.

Speaker 2 I feel like they could break you off a little cup of mil.

Speaker 1 They do. They do really well.
They do really well for themselves. Yeah.

Speaker 2 TV rights. Everybody watches it.
They need to pay the golfers. Pay the players.
We're on the side of the players.

Speaker 1 Justice for the players.

Speaker 1 Justice. You could start this, PFTV.

Speaker 2 Justice for the players. Professional golfers don't get paid enough money.

Speaker 2 They're basically living in their parents' house, just like college.

Speaker 1 Struggling by struggling to get by, yes.

Speaker 2 And at the Ryder Cup, if you win, they should break you off a couple mil.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm saying. We could all use a little bit of help.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you get to the Ryder Cup, is it weird like having to, I assume you guys are kind of all close when you get there because you're all playing on the same team.

Speaker 1 Obviously, you play with Live on a team, but is it a different dynamic that you're all rooting for each other so hard that it like changes how you like view golf? Yeah, it is weird, right?

Speaker 1 Because you are rooting for yeah 11 other guys the entire time guys you're like competing against in majors you're now rooting yeah i never looked at it like that but it's it's definitely a weird

Speaker 1 weird situation right yeah because i don't say i'm not gonna say you're rooting against but like you know i would be if i'm up there and somebody else is up there i'm i hope they ain't in the water right i'm gonna be flat out honest right so um

Speaker 1 yeah i guess it is a little different so Like, do you guys do like team building exercises? Would you guys hang out at the Ryder Cup? Yeah, we probably

Speaker 1 get two hours to ourselves every night, and we just kind of all hang out in the team room. It's quite fun, mess around, tell some jokes.

Speaker 1 Justin Thomas, who we're a big fan of, he's got to, like, that's when he's got to shine because everyone was claiming that he was just made the team for the boys club. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, like, he's got to, he's got to bring some like funny jokes. Yeah, he needs to.
He needs to bring it. Yeah.
He's got to bring beer.

Speaker 2 He should show up first a couple cases of beer.

Speaker 1 I think he was hitting him out last time on the first tee. That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Getting everybody excited, right? We were having the discussion, though. Like, I know that there was controversy whether he should be on the team or not, but his international play speaks for itself.

Speaker 1 Where, like, if you're a guy who like it would almost be like if they had a

Speaker 1 Ryder Cup for majors, like, why wouldn't you put Brooks in? He always steps up in the majors. Like, Justin Thomas always steps up in the international play.
You got to put him in there. He's a killer.

Speaker 1 Got to. Yeah.
That's why you know you can trust him. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I feel good about it.
I'm happy he's on my team. Yeah.
What about Max? Max is nervous. Max will be fine.
Okay.

Speaker 1 He'll have a good teammate. It'll be fine.

Speaker 2 He's going to be a great teammate. Yes.
Max is the nicest guy in the world. From a serious golf standpoint, if you're in the Ryder Cup, do you play differently because it's a team format?

Speaker 2 Or are you playing the exact same style?

Speaker 1 That depends on the format, but like if we're playing alternate shot, I'm going to hit driver because no matter where it goes, I don't have to hit the next one. So I feel pretty good.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter if it's behind a tree.

Speaker 1 I don't have to play it. Right.
This is on you now. Yeah, somebody else.
That's a you problem. Yeah.
Yeah. Smart.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Very smart.

Speaker 1 Hank, you got any golf questions? I was going to ask the match play question, PFT just took it right out of my hand. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Good question, Hank.

Speaker 2 Good question, Hank. Great question, Hank.

Speaker 2 In a scramble format, if you putt the ball and it stops, like, let's say, hypothetically, three inches from the hole, and then you just walk up and you tap it in casually before your teammate has a shot at the hole, is that a four or is that a five?

Speaker 1 That is a five. Yes, correct.
I disagree.

Speaker 1 I agree. Wait, you're a bad person.
I agree.

Speaker 1 You're a bad guy. I are a Raider Cup team.
I agree. Yeah.
No, I agree. You're taking that shot by hitting the next shot.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I I misspoke.

Speaker 1 Once you put it in the hole, that's your score. Yep.
That's how it works. Rules are rules.
Good point. Good point.
And we're playing for money. It matters.

Speaker 1 Let's talk some football. Florida State's back.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 they're better.

Speaker 1 They're better. I mean, they kicked Allisu's ass.

Speaker 1 Are you still rooting hard for Florida State? Yeah. Still rooting for Florida State.
I think they do. I think they're a three team.
Maybe not, but hey, I don't think Georgia's number one.

Speaker 1 Let's put it that way.

Speaker 2 Do you wish you had gotten gotten Deion?

Speaker 1 That would have been nice.

Speaker 2 You ran Deion out of town.

Speaker 1 I know. I heard him say the other day he wasn't from Florida State.
Well, yeah, not even because you guys ran him out. I don't know if we can ever get him back now.

Speaker 2 He wanted to coach for Florida State, and you guys turned your nose up at him. Yeah.
And look what he's doing now. It's been a rough few years.

Speaker 1 Do they hit you up for money? Yeah, I've been hit up. Do they hit you up?

Speaker 1 Do they call you the Monday after you win a major?

Speaker 1 After I signed with Liv, I got hit up.

Speaker 1 I'll never forget that. Yeah, no.
They did their Hall of Fame, whatever, induction, whatever. So I went up November.
Yeah, so that was right after his son would live. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Perfect timing. So we know you got it.
Yeah, we know you're good for it. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Did you give him anything? Are you a booster?

Speaker 1 No, I'm not a booster, but I help the golf team out a little bit. Okay.
Okay. That's big.

Speaker 2 I bet if you called him up and you're like, hey, I'm unhappy with the direction of the program, Deion Sanders would make a big difference here in two years.

Speaker 2 I bet they'd listen. Start throwing your weight around.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Those NILs get a few kids wearing the Smash stuff.

Speaker 1 yeah kids yeah my my son chris used to be a four aces fan but i'm coming home with all the smash merch i think we got to convert him yeah we can turn them yeah wait so uh good segue are you a better golfer now that you're a dad blake jr

Speaker 1 haven't played like it yeah it was a little uh because that is hungover from the pga that is a bad it was a little bit of a hangover

Speaker 1 it was a little yeah don't blink right yeah just taking this theme to heart

Speaker 2 i see the posters everywhere i'm like yeah that's that's a nod to brooks

Speaker 2 How long are you officially not hungover?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're good now. We sobered up.
Okay. When did you finish in the U.S.
Open?

Speaker 1 19th? Okay. Something topic.
It's pretty good.

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Speaker 2 You had a post on Instagram of your son, and it said Blake of the Year. He was wearing a Blake of the Year onesie.
A lot of people were saying that you actually did name your son Blake.

Speaker 2 Can you confirm that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're...

Speaker 1 We did not decide to go with that. Oh, but so it's stolen valor.

Speaker 1 Maybe you can still name change.

Speaker 1 What if he's known to the general public as Blake? Oh, yeah, that's fine. All right, so that's perfect.
That's all that matters. You can call him whatever you want at home.
Yeah, that's

Speaker 1 him Blake. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I'm pretty sure he's got a few Blake outfits. Yeah, yeah, it's smart.

Speaker 1 We have to, we were actually talking before we started playing, like, it's our job as the fun uncles to just buy him only Blake stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want him to be confused when he's like five or six years old. What's my name? What is my name?

Speaker 2 So, it's going to go, it's going to go Brooks, and and then you're going to pass the torch to Charlie Woods, and then Charlie Woods passing it to Blake Jr. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think golf is in good hands right now.

Speaker 1 It's solid. It's never been in better hands.

Speaker 2 Will you allow your son to play golf?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
There's a lot of money to be made out here.

Speaker 1 We'll keep that generational.

Speaker 1 Are you going to let him play football? If he wants to, yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't think size or height is on his side. Yeah.
So, yeah. But Huey, absolutely.
Yeah. You're a a big strong guy.
Yeah, you're for a golfer.

Speaker 2 They said, what height did they give you on the PA today? Did they say that you were six feet tall?

Speaker 1 No, they said 6'2.

Speaker 2 You're not 6'2.

Speaker 1 Are you 6'2?

Speaker 2 And spikes.

Speaker 1 I mean, Hank's not 5'10 either. 5'10.
I was 6'1.

Speaker 1 And then they conveniently left PFT's height off. Yeah, they didn't let us know

Speaker 2 that, which is perfect. That was bullshit.

Speaker 1 You wonder who wrote those? That was bullshit.

Speaker 2 Do you ever wear spikes, like metal spikes?

Speaker 1 I used to way back when I started, but I just wore them just to hear the click-clack.

Speaker 2 yes yeah I thought I was cool and then yeah some people keep doing the click clack and then they walk in people's background shots and you can hear them come and get exasperated with it yeah why it really bugs people you know what I mean is is there a difference between wearing plastic spikes and metal spikes um

Speaker 1 you hear the click clack when you're on the concrete other than that I don't really think there's a difference could you golf in just normal shoes just Air Force ones

Speaker 1 Probably, yeah. I'd probably slip once or twice, but yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It doesn't seem like it makes that much of, I mean, the spikes on golf shoes are so small. I never really understood why golfers wear cleats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not like we're moving that much. Yeah, I mean, you look at like JT, he's like off the ground when he hits, yeah, or like Scotty.
He wears metal spikes too. I'm like, you're off the ground.

Speaker 1 Why do you need to wear them?

Speaker 2 If Scotty wore them, he just like tears Achilles on every shot.

Speaker 3 Have you ever tried?

Speaker 1 I think he might actually wear metals, or he did at some time, I think.

Speaker 2 I mean, have you ever tried to move your feet like he does when you swing? It seems like it's there's a lot going on.

Speaker 1 No, but Dave Portnoy does a pretty good job of it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 He kind of does that.

Speaker 1 Let's look into the future. How many majors?

Speaker 1 What would be what you like?

Speaker 1 What's the number? I know you have a number in your head. It's not saying I'm going to win this, but like what you would be like, this is what I feel like I can do.

Speaker 1 And what I'd be like, that's an unbelievable career. I feel like I can get to 12.
12?

Speaker 1 Yes. You're fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 Think about it, right? Like, think how many I've already blown. Like, I blew one to Phil.
So that'd be six. Tiger.

Speaker 1 So that's seven. John Rom.
Well, Hank blew that to him. John Rom.
Yes. Thanks, Hank.

Speaker 1 So that's eight. Could you feel Gary Woodland lost to Gary? So that's nine.
Like, I should have. I feel like I should have nine right now.

Speaker 1 Could you feel the shift when Hank texted us and was like, should we get Brooks on after he wins the Masters? That was the exact time. That was on Saturday.
Yeah. Could you feel it? I felt that.

Speaker 1 It was in the rain delay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You did say that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So 12 majors. 12 majors.

Speaker 2 I mean, you'd be right up there. Is there any chance at all? If we stretch it out, let's say you never choke another one away again.
Hank never screws you over. Any chance at all you beat Tiger?

Speaker 1 I hope so. That'd be great, right?

Speaker 1 That was the benchmark. Yeah.

Speaker 1 14 until I gave him 15. Yeah.
Here's a little tip. Call it an objective, not a goal.
Emmanuel Acho taught us that. That's a positive thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you set a goal and you don't get it, then you failed. If you set an objective and you don't get it, then you didn't fail.
Shoot for the moon.

Speaker 1 I don't know. He wrote a whole book about it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the old saying is: Shoot for the moon. If you miss, if you fall short, you'll be a star.
Yeah, which doesn't really make sense. No, it never made sense.
Stars are closer than the moon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that never made sense.

Speaker 2 Be a moon.

Speaker 1 Jerry, you had a question for Brooks. Jersey Jerry's here.
Come on, talk in the mic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jerry's got a text. Jersey Jerry, yeah, go sit in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, from the clouds. No, no, sit right here in the middle.
Sit right here in the middle. All right, all right.

Speaker 1 Come on, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Seems like the appropriate setting. Yeah, all right.

Speaker 2 Jerry was worthless today, by the way.

Speaker 2 Worthless as a caddy.

Speaker 12 I'm not a good putter.

Speaker 2 I'm a good chipper. Question.

Speaker 1 You were good with the rangefinder, dude.

Speaker 12 From the clouds, but we'll ask this. So it's a fuck Mary Kill.

Speaker 12 We're going to go Chris Jenner,

Speaker 12 Ivanka Trump, and Michelle Obama.

Speaker 1 Good question, Jerry. Good question, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 1 Good question, Jerry. That is a great question.
Thank you. Holy hell.
How would you answer it, Jerry?

Speaker 12 So I would marry Chris Jenner.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 I would kill Michelle Obama. Okay.
And I would fuck Ivanka.

Speaker 2 No surprises here, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a tough one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I would marry Chris Jenner as well. Smart.
Just for the fact.

Speaker 1 I think I'm the same as you. Just for the fact of, like, in case anything happens, I feel like I'd walk away pretty exactly.
Yeah. Pretty good with that.
Yeah. What else you got for Brooks?

Speaker 1 Anything else?

Speaker 1 That was it.

Speaker 1 I didn't know where this was going. Thanks, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Thanks a question, Jerry. Think of another one, Jerry.
Think of another one. We'll end with you in a minute.

Speaker 2 Brooks, do you have any questions for us?

Speaker 1 Do you think this... I'll ask a question that...

Speaker 1 Do you think this podcast has positively helped you or negatively helped you? You struggle with this sometimes. No, I think Jackson is a toss-up because people call him pervert all the time.

Speaker 2 how much does Rick hate us?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think Rick, first off, he still had no idea until today that who Barstool,

Speaker 1 pardon my take, he had no idea what it was.

Speaker 1 And I think the Blake thing drives him up a wall.

Speaker 1 And then for a while, because I think they were shouting with the port noise match that didn't happen, I think they were shouting Dave, Dave this, Dave that, whatever.

Speaker 1 And he's like, who are these people?

Speaker 1 So I've had to explain it to him and pretty much everybody I play with, I have to explain the Blake thing

Speaker 1 Because I don't think many golfers watch this podcast,

Speaker 1 which is sad. But

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 I think Rick struggles with it. I love it.
I think it's great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When did we first interview? Was it before your second or third?

Speaker 1 It was in... Beth P.

Speaker 7 It was right before the third, yeah.

Speaker 1 Right before the third. So we've actually

Speaker 1 helped you in three majors. Yeah.
Exactly. That's pretty huge.
And solo, I can only do it too. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 2 I would say that we also helped with the PIP stuff, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Is that what it was?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when I was on the PIP, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It definitely helped.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 How much did you get off that?

Speaker 1 Less than my live contract. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How much are we owed here? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can just give it to us.

Speaker 2 Here's a good question. How awesome is it to be rich?

Speaker 1 That's big cat.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Better than being poor.

Speaker 1 It's pretty cool. Yeah, it's good.
Your pool is awesome. Yeah, your pool is sick.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where you can like see, can't you see into the bottom of your pool? Yeah, you can see on the side.

Speaker 1 I thought like when that was being designed or when Jenna came up with that, I thought it was going to go way different, way cooler for me. And then now it's

Speaker 1 a workout video, yeah. It's like, yeah, I thought I saw that going differently in my head.

Speaker 1 Have you reconciled with your dogs or dog? My dog? Yeah. Yeah.
Because, yeah, we, it's a bad visual.

Speaker 2 It was a bad visual. Max had an incident like that, or Max, where he just had a dog and he just went pet it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that was, did you have a like you had to have a conversation with your dog being like, hey, sorry, I know that we had that on screen where I just wasn't petting you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a bad look. But yeah, we've, we've worked it out.
We've worked it out. That's good.

Speaker 2 That dog needed a boop.

Speaker 1 Another serious, serious golf question.

Speaker 2 What's the hardest shot to hit in golf? Ooh, good question.

Speaker 1 Probably driver off the deck backwards. Ooh.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that would be tough.

Speaker 1 What do you call the back part of the driver?

Speaker 1 The butt?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you have a favorite shot you've ever hit in your life?

Speaker 1 Favorite shot.

Speaker 2 The one that keeps you coming back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that you can, like, you sometimes will daydream about.

Speaker 1 Probably, what was it, 16 at Bell Revere, part three. Hit a four and I'm like eight feet.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Rick wanted me to hit five or five.
I forget what it was. I hit five or four.
Rick wanted me to hit the other one. And I was like, not happened.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which probably could have helped. Did you get par? Par out? No, yeah.
I made Birdie there, and I can't remember what I did in the last two. But what about? Do you know when you're in the zone putting?

Speaker 1 Can you feel it? Like, right when you get on the putting green in the morning, yeah, I feel like you know putting, you definitely know. You got it or you don't got it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then if you don't, because like I can, I, when we're, when we're watching you and you're like locked in, it's like every putt's going in. Yeah.
And it's awesome to watch.

Speaker 1 It'd be awesome if I could do that all the time. Yeah.
Oh, here's a hypothetical. You've seen us play.

Speaker 1 Do you think that we could compete on the PGA tour tour if we magically, every single shot that was on the green, any part of the green, the next putt automatically went in?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you could be out there. You think so? I don't think so.
Yeah. I still have to get on the green, but the second it gets on the green, it's an automatic putt.

Speaker 1 You think so?

Speaker 1 You have to watch how today was played. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You could see, yeah. Maybe it's a scramble.
Okay, another hypothetical: 18th green at Augusta. We're on the green.

Speaker 2 We have one-shot lead, Sunday at the Masters. We're on the green, but it's the farthest possible point on the green from the hole.
That's where we start. That's our first shot.

Speaker 2 Could we par out to win the Masters?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Justin putting? No.

Speaker 1 Justin putting, no. No?

Speaker 1 We couldn't get a four?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 What do you think? What would the lead have to be for us on the T-box of the 18th at the Masters to win the Masters?

Speaker 1 Well, I think Scotty four-putted

Speaker 1 last year, right? From like, I forget how many feet, but I think it'd have to be five. Five-stroke lean.
Five-stroke lean.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think they still blow that.

Speaker 1 I'd blow that. I would definitely blow that.

Speaker 2 What if you took the best part of all three of our games and combined them into one golfer? Would we be able to compete on the live tour?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you just add. It depends which team you want to play for, I guess.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So which is the worst team that we could make it on?

Speaker 1 Ooh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Who's in last place in Stannings? I don't even know.

Speaker 2 Do you guys have rivalries?

Speaker 1 We got to get rivalries. It's tough.
We haven't even won.

Speaker 1 We're looking to

Speaker 1 finishing the podium in the top three right now. You got to get rivalries.
What's going?

Speaker 2 You guys are talking shit. You think it's going to be

Speaker 1 Cam Smith or Taylor? Gooch. Yeah.
And Hank, what's your favorite team?

Speaker 2 Four Aces. And who's on it?

Speaker 1 Do you do the Four Aces podcast?

Speaker 2 I actually quizzed him on this this morning. He's French line, Patrick Reed,

Speaker 1 Paparez. Oh, you got it.
All right, yeah.

Speaker 1 True fan right there. Die hard.
All right, well, I have one last question.

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Speaker 1 My last question is, Jerry. Jerry, get back up here.
Another question. This should be a good one.
It should be good. The first one was great.

Speaker 1 Serious, serious.

Speaker 1 Serious one.

Speaker 12 Because

Speaker 12 I'm starting to get into golf, and one of my favorite golfers is

Speaker 8 John Daly.

Speaker 12 If he wasn't an alcoholic or a drunk, could he have been the best golfer ever?

Speaker 1 He's definitely one of the most talented guys I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 I played with him this year, the practice round at the British. Awesome.
Dude,

Speaker 1 we got to set this up. You got to play nine holes with this guy.
Yeah, I would love to. He's phenomenal.
Well, maybe not. He's the best.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 You just said me. No, but it would be me.

Speaker 2 The drinking.

Speaker 1 You could catty a drink. You could catty.
No, no, you're not talking drinking.

Speaker 1 Playing golf.

Speaker 12 Yeah, but I want to play.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll sit out. I'll sit out.
That'd be great. For you.

Speaker 12 Like, I think of him as like Mike Tyson.

Speaker 1 Yes. Pretty much.
He's a legend. Like,

Speaker 12 he was amazing. People would love to see John Daly.
And then

Speaker 1 people still love to see John Daley.

Speaker 2 I mean, people still love to see Mike Tyson. That's true.

Speaker 2 Does the ball make a different sound off the club with John Daly?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 1 He used to, too. I mean, he still does, but I mean, it's impressive to watch him play.
His son's pretty good, too. Yeah.
His son's actually really legit.

Speaker 2 Do you have a favorite golfer?

Speaker 1 Mine was Adam Scott growing up.

Speaker 1 Just swings it really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nobody knows who that is.

Speaker 2 No, he's the Australian guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm a dimple head. Yeah, I know about the golf, I know about the swing.

Speaker 1 I love it, yeah, hell yeah.

Speaker 2 Uh, he was good, he was a good player. I don't want to have, I don't want to be the best golfer in the world, I just want to have the nicest swing that way.

Speaker 2 People can just look at the swing and be like, Look at that easy swing, exactly, yeah,

Speaker 2 okay, good job, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jerry, just got one more question.

Speaker 12 Two questions, okay,

Speaker 1 okay, all right. All right, what uh,

Speaker 12 don't take this the wrong way, Brooks, please.

Speaker 1 Uh, uh,

Speaker 12 what size

Speaker 1 shoe is your wife?

Speaker 1 Is she an eight?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 last question.

Speaker 12 In the summer, what color nail polish does she use?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 In the summertime?

Speaker 1 I think she goes for bright colors in the summer. Yeah, she switched it up.

Speaker 1 She's got it done. She's got her nails done.

Speaker 1 It's good. It's good.
Jerry, you can stand up.

Speaker 2 Now, Jerry, yeah, talk yourself in.

Speaker 1 Before Jerry even started at Barstool, he used to run a 32

Speaker 1 right around March Madness called, was it Feet the Street? 64, 64. It was just local women foot contest.
So they would submit and he'd buy them. He'd buy the winner a $500 gift card for a manicure.

Speaker 1 It was Judge Women's Feet.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, was it what is the winner? Just whichever one Jerry likes to do?

Speaker 1 Jerry, Jerry Light Cross, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Jerry, Feet the Street.

Speaker 2 Were there like upsets?

Speaker 1 big time upsets

Speaker 1 you're gonna bring that back now yes i can bring it back

Speaker 1 are you talking the mic what he said explain it come here come here explain it to us so pretty much how it started was this

Speaker 12 so it was during covid and i was like instagram live i was having fun i was like you know what I can make a big foot competition.

Speaker 1 So what I did was I had my graphics guy make like a bracket and and it was called Feet the Streets.

Speaker 12 Kind of like beat the streets, same shit. So, what I did was, I just put like Instagram posts every day, like, hey, if you want to compete in this competition,

Speaker 12 name's anonymous, it's just feet. We're going to do March Madness style.
I'll make the bracket. Hey, if you're a one seed, you're going to go against this seed.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 12 So, actually, a girl from Jersey City won it.

Speaker 1 Oh. And she, a lot went into it, though.

Speaker 12 You have the ankle. You have to show the ankle so I can can see the ankle.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 The arch is big. The color is big.

Speaker 12 Now a girl who had ugly toes, she had a toe ring.

Speaker 1 So that gave her. That boosted her up.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That boosted her up. I could see.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I like how Jerry was like, there's a lot that went into it.

Speaker 1 For instance, believe it or not, like...

Speaker 12 The girls still message me to this day, like, hey, you got to bring this back. We want to compete again.
Some fee picks, okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, if you bring it back, we'll get Jenna in. Seriously?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to give her a one-seat pack. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 We'll see how far she makes it.

Speaker 1 You can blame anything on COVID.

Speaker 2 Jerry was like, so it was COVID,

Speaker 2 so I did the foot bracket.

Speaker 1 You know, people are doing crazy things.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Brooks, best of luck at the Ryder Cup.
Yeah, go USA. Best of luck this weekend.
What? Best of luck this weekend. Yeah, best of luck this weekend.
Best of luck at the Ryder Cup.

Speaker 2 And we did say, since you guys are criminally underpaid or not even paid at all during the Ryder Cup, if Team USA wins, we're getting you a pizza party. Pizza party.
Yes. From part of my take.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I love that.

Speaker 7 Pizza party.

Speaker 2 It's better than money.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That actually is.
Pardon my cheesesteaks as well. We'll throw in the pardon my cheese steaks.
Okay, I love that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I'll match.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's double pardon my cheesesteaks and a pizza party. Yeah.
That's where we're going to be. Pretty fucking.

Speaker 1 Let the boys know that. I will.
I want to make sure.

Speaker 1 Right when you land, you should be like, hey, listen, I know we're not playing for money, but I'll text Max. We're playing for cheese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
All right. Well, thank you, Brooks.
Appreciate it. Yep.
Enjoyed it, boys.

Speaker 2 Thanks, man.

Speaker 6 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 6 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 6 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 6 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Okay, we'll wrap up with Fire Fest of the week. Hank.
Dan.

Speaker 1 Hank. Dan.
Henry. Dan.

Speaker 1 Henry.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 I was making some Trader Joe's orange chicken tonight, and I'm like. Look at you cooking for yourself.
Yeah. You're a big boy.
Well, not quite.

Speaker 1 You're a big boy. That's a frozen meal.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Oh, that is? Oh, shit.
Well, I put it in the oven. Not a big boy.

Speaker 2 So you put it in the oven? I took it out. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Put it on a sheet. Yeah.
A baking sheet. Tray.

Speaker 2 Did you spray any oil on the sheet? Yeah. Okay, so that's cooking.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you get depressed doing that a little bit.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's like you're kind of grown up.

Speaker 1 I get depressed at how ungrown up I am when I really think about it. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I mean, that's a big college meal. That's like

Speaker 1 a good one.

Speaker 1 I've been out of this game for a long time.

Speaker 1 No, it's tough. Like I am, you know, becoming more and more aware of how much more adult I should be than I am.
But it is what it is.

Speaker 1 And then I burnt myself with the sauce, making the sauce. Oh, no.
Just burnt my fingers.

Speaker 1 You want a band-aid? I put it in the microwave for like a minute.

Speaker 2 You boiled the sauce?

Speaker 1 You heat up the sauce.

Speaker 2 I don't think you have to heat the sauce up to the boiling. Do you need a band-aid?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 Let's put a band-aid on, though. It was hot.
I put a band-aid on, like, my kids will just, like, bump their, like, foot, like, band-aid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Band-aid.

Speaker 2 I mean, think about it this way. If you heat the sauce up that much, you're not going to be able to eat it, right? You have to wait.
It just needs to be warm. Warm sauce.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was just a little too warm. Burnt my finger.
Also, I bought the spider spray. I still haven't done it yet, though, so I'm preparing myself for war this weekend.
Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 You could just also wait them out.

Speaker 1 Like, winter will

Speaker 1 then come inside.

Speaker 2 I don't think so. That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 1 How where? Do you have a door?

Speaker 2 Keep your door closed.

Speaker 1 Get it airtight. Make that shit airtight.
Plug all the holes.

Speaker 1 I don't want them to devise a plan and, like, infiltrate. Okay.

Speaker 1 You have the smartest spiders ever living outside your apartment.

Speaker 2 Are you sure these are spiders? Are they not like possums? Because the way that you're talking about them makes them sound like mammals that have brains that can like open doors.

Speaker 1 Do you put on music in your house? Yeah. I just want to feel what a night in the Henry Lockwood house is like.
Music,

Speaker 1 not really like ambient music. Yeah.
That's more of like certain times I'll put on music. Oh, okay.
Do tell

Speaker 1 those times. No, just like on a Friday night or like, you know, sometimes in the morning or whatever, just to like wake up.
Yeah. But I'm not just like, you know, have music going constantly.

Speaker 1 A lot of golf YouTube videos. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Smart.

Speaker 1 You get the fog machine going. Yeah.
Not a lot of fog machine. No.
Laying off the shit. You walk around in your boxers?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shirt off?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to do more shirt off because I'm trying to, again, like. Shame yourself? Yeah.
Yeah. That's actually a good idea.
I should do that more. It's bad.
Hank's real bad.

Speaker 1 And your six-pack is coming, right?

Speaker 2 I'm just trying to get, you know, exercise every day.

Speaker 1 Not even saying work out every day. Just like walk.

Speaker 2 Just sweat. Just walk a little.
Yeah, burn 100 calories. Hank's got an outstanding picture frame.

Speaker 1 In his apartment. Really?

Speaker 2 Really nice. It's actually a TV, but it looks like a work of art.

Speaker 1 It's got a little frame on the screen. Oh,

Speaker 1 I guess this is another.

Speaker 2 He puts art screensavers on, so it looks like he's got a painting with a little cord coming out of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We went to Dana Holgerson's house. You guys were there for the inception.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he had a giant 65-inch picture frame, and it was just him and one of his players on the sidelines, like a very random picture.

Speaker 1 We were drinking, and after a few drinks, I got the confidence to be like, Dana, like.

Speaker 1 Did this guy die? Like,

Speaker 1 why do you have this giant life-size picture of him on your wall? And he was like, you fucking idiot. And then, like, took the remote.
I was like, it's a slat show.

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know what these pictures are. I was like, that's sick.
Need one.

Speaker 1 So, shout out to Dana for that. Another realize how not, although I don't think you guys can.
Could you guys hang something into a stud on a wall? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm pretty good at that.

Speaker 2 It is hard. You got to get a drill.

Speaker 1 I have a drill. I just, I've been, I've been, I've watched a couple videos.
I've made a couple attempts.

Speaker 1 Not successful so far.

Speaker 1 Built a whole shelf and I'm trying to hang it but yeah it's it's a little life growing up Hank I like it I like it okay PFT what's your fire fest like I found the studs and everything my fire fest is um I've had a pretty clean week overall the airport thing earlier what airport thing earlier you just drove by and and I named every plane a hundred percent correctly how do you know

Speaker 2 another incident this hour would you know if you're going to go into that how would you know if I was wrong about planes Hank you don't know shit about planes I can just tell you don't go on your balcony to look at them because you're scared of the the spiders that are out there.

Speaker 1 No, I sit out there. That's the problem.
I just still sit out there. Oh, well, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 So I'll talk about this morning. I got dropped off at Hank's place.

Speaker 2 I got dropped off about, I'd say, 15 minutes away from Hank's apartment this morning by an Uber driver who was taking me to this place.

Speaker 2 Hank very graciously agreed to drive me out to the golf thing today.

Speaker 2 And I don't have a car yet because I just got my wallet back. You can't buy a car without a license, it turns out.
Shocker. Probably a good rule for that.

Speaker 2 But I get dropped off about 15 minutes away from Hank's apartment. I get out and I'm like,

Speaker 2 this doesn't look like Hank's apartment. I've been to Hank's apartment several times.
This is not the right building.

Speaker 2 But then I think maybe I'm on the back side of his apartment where sometimes people can drive in where the garage is. And there's Hank's car that's parked on the curb with its lights flashing.

Speaker 2 And Hank said, I'll be out front waiting for you. So I step out.
I'm like, oh, okay, well, I must be at Hank's place then. Uber driver shuts the door, drives away.
I look at my phone.

Speaker 2 I'm about 15 minutes away from Hank's apartment.

Speaker 2 He took me to the complete wrong address.

Speaker 2 And I think the reason why I did was he was driving through downtown, kept running into barricaded streets that were blocked off, and then he looked at, because I noticed on his little display phone he had set up with a navigation on it, that the next person he was picking up for his ride was right around the corner from where he dropped me off.

Speaker 2 He just dropped me to his next pickup, to his next fair, and dropped me off. And then I was like, oh, shit.
Well, I guess I'm screwed. So then Hank had to come pick me up.

Speaker 1 It's a solid move. Yeah, it's a solid move.

Speaker 2 Solid move by Hank.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 I like to just impulse buy things, especially if it's early in the morning and I see an advertisement for it. Yes.
And I'll be like, oh, this seems kind of cool.

Speaker 2 And I buy a lot of limited edition stuff that the NFL puts out that nobody else in the world ever buys. I think they just target me for some of this stuff.

Speaker 2 I saw an advertisement for a Darius Rucker limited edition line of clothing. conjoined with the NFL.

Speaker 1 It was like a partnership.

Speaker 2 Gotta have it. So I opened it up and I was like, this is kind of sweet.
They got like flannels and western style shirts with little

Speaker 2 NFL team logos on it.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 2 why don't just buy clothes, Darius Rucker NFL clothes for the whole boys? Yeah. For all the boys.
Did you?

Speaker 2 So I spent $500 on Darius Rucker-themed NFL merchandise as a crossover that had all your tubes on it.

Speaker 1 I'm pumped. I'm pumped too.

Speaker 2 I looked at my email today. I forgot how much I spent on it until I opened up the email.

Speaker 1 Listen, that pays for itself. It does.

Speaker 2 It's sweet.

Speaker 2 It's like snap-ups. It's got the the Western style.
It says the team name right across it.

Speaker 1 Whenever I buy something dumb, I just say pays for itself. It will.
It never does. It will.
But it pays for itself.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's content, right? It's content.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Plus, I think you guys will like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I guarantee you I'll like it. Sam Darnold.

Speaker 1 Okay. My Firefest is...

Speaker 2 Head looks huge.

Speaker 1 I alluded to it earlier, but the Cubs suck. And yeah, that was like the one thing.
I was like, oh, yeah, the Bears season's already a disaster, but at least the Cubs are going to be in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I don't think so anymore. And I don't think we're going to get the Max versus Big Cat Cubs Phillies situation, which would have been great.

Speaker 2 If the season ended today, would you guys be in?

Speaker 1 I think we just, because of tonight's loss,

Speaker 1 I think you're tied. But I think the Diamondbacks, because they beat the fuck out of us the last couple weeks,

Speaker 1 would have the tiebreaker. So I think we might be out.
I think we might have, yep, we're officially out. It's actually the Marlins.
We're tied with the Marlins.

Speaker 1 So maybe we have the tiebreaker over the Marlins. Who knows? Either way, not fun times.
They should have. They're playing really bad teams and they're losing to really bad teams.

Speaker 1 And Jake had a fire fest. He got hit with a ball while golfing.

Speaker 1 Was anyone with him?

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 1 Oh, you were golfing. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Two times this week. Both times.
Both times for work. Both times for work.
Both for work.

Speaker 1 Who set up

Speaker 1 both of these shoots? Both for work. Both for work.
Meme set up both. Meme set up the one I had to go to on the FBI.

Speaker 1 Is there football on right now? There is. Yeah, there's football on right now.
Both for work. Weekend.
I said the whole time weekend.

Speaker 2 I won't golf on weekends.

Speaker 1 Wait, but it's the complete opposite.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be so focused on work that I'm going to stop golfing on weekends.

Speaker 1 I legitimately, legitimately, like, I have not been golfing. Meme.

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 2 Except for two times this week. Which week.

Speaker 1 The video we made today will be a banger.

Speaker 2 When's that coming out, Max? Tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Monday after Ryder Cup. So Monday.

Speaker 8 I I don't understand the Monday thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Monday doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2 People are going to want to on Monday.

Speaker 1 Everyone subscribe. A week after the Ryder Cup.
500,000.

Speaker 8 I think it should be Thursday. We always put our shit.

Speaker 1 Let's get to 500,000, okay? Let's get to 500,000. Then we have the 5K and the golf.
Let's

Speaker 1 hold shit back.

Speaker 8 Let's make the golf of 500K.

Speaker 1 That's what people actually want to watch. Well, yeah, but they're going to get to 500K.
It's not going to be ready. I want to get to half a million.
We've got to be in the half a million.

Speaker 1 Do we get a plaque? I want a plaque. No.
1 million? You want 1 million subscribers? Okay, we want 1 million subscribers.

Speaker 1 Someone find a bot farm that you're doing.

Speaker 2 Memes, make us a plaque when we get to 500,000.

Speaker 1 Make yourself.

Speaker 1 If you're watching this right now and you're not subscribed, you're a scumbag. Please do it.

Speaker 1 Big cat's been on his absolute deviousness with me playing golf.

Speaker 1 I just didn't think. Oh, did you play golf today? And then I had a call at like 9:30 this morning, and Big Cat, me and Big Cat were the first two on it.
And he was like,

Speaker 1 Wait, you golfed yesterday, right? Yeah. I was like, Yeah, for the Morgan and Morgan thing.
And then I came in the office. He's like, Did you golf yesterday?

Speaker 1 I didn't think golf was happening in September. That's what I understood.
That was like a real fight. There was a real fight.
Yo, he was very mad at me. I actually did forget.

Speaker 1 He didn't actually, because listen, I am a troll. I understand where you're coming from.
You've years and years, a decade plus of me trolling you. That one was literally me being a fucking bimbo.

Speaker 1 Okay, I actually forgot. But yes, I have been on my TV as shit.
I thought we said goodbye to golf.

Speaker 1 Wait, answer honestly.

Speaker 2 Have you played more golf since you quit golf than you did when you were playing golf?

Speaker 1 I haven't even. I played 18 holes total, both for work.

Speaker 2 Wait, 18 holes total, like the entire month of September?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 1 You haven't played any more golf? No, well, the.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 What am I forgetting? I don't know. You haven't played golf.
Probably the time you played golf. No, no.

Speaker 2 You haven't played any golf whatsoever.

Speaker 1 I've literally, we did the scramble speed golf that day. That was before.
Check your app. Check your app.
Check your app. 18 birdies.
I mean, I haven't. I know I haven't.
I'm a man of my word.

Speaker 1 Man of his word.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I believe you. I'm checking out.

Speaker 1 Got anything planned coming up? No.

Speaker 1 Do you want to golf with me next week? Oh, I might be be golfing. Yeah, I do.
I would love it.

Speaker 1 I might just start golfing with Hank and being in just no showing. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 2 82723. Hank went private on 18 Birdie, so you can't tell me.

Speaker 1 He lost his account. This is like the president

Speaker 1 having their schedule redacted. I shot a 105 on 827.23.

Speaker 1 That's not bad. That's pretty bad.

Speaker 2 Because you were playing a lot of golf then. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, he is still now. All right, numbers.
Brooke said my swing was good. Yeah, he was paying.
He said that's all of us. Three.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Ooh.

Speaker 1 I don't know who had that first.

Speaker 2 99.

Speaker 1 I'll go 69. One.

Speaker 2 99. Hank had three first.

Speaker 8 I'm checking. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's go. All right.

Speaker 1 I'll go one.

Speaker 1 I'll go one. Memes, do you ever get it?

Speaker 1 Have you ever gotten it? 20. No.

Speaker 1 32. All right.
I got one.

Speaker 1 73.

Speaker 1 73. All right.

Speaker 1 Have a great weekend, everyone. Great for Paul Weekend.
Great for Paul Weekend. See everyone on Monday morning.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 I'm not taking to find you. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love up day. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love update.

Speaker 1 I'm the

Speaker 1 lady.

Speaker 1 Somebody rest the same.

Speaker 1 I won't say it. Spirit beats someone

Speaker 1 waiting. Slowly learning that life is okay.
Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's a better tip of the safe to sell it. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's a better ticket, safe to sell it. Things I can say, every little I thought.
Just away my memories away.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me