NFL Week 2, Fastest 2 Minutes, Justin Fields Is Not The Guy, Commanders 2-0, Cowboys Rolling And Hank Watches The End Of The Patriots Game

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, week two of the NFL, we're going to talk about every single game from Sunday. Some good things, some very bad things.
I am back to rock bottom. PFT's commanders are 2-0.
We're going to be taping during the second half of sunday football so by the end of this hank could be oh and two and also rock bottom uh we're going to do who's back of the week fastest two minutes the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your tee time. Start searching multiple courses in your area from one app.
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Okay, let's go.

Bye!

Bye! Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff work can be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't name all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue I love you.
It's part of my take. It's part of my take.

It's part of my take.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Monday, September 18th, week two.

the Raiders.

We start in Tampa Bay where Claypool looked like he went to a trainer this weekend as the Bears were all about that chase, no treble.

Speaking of base, Mike Durnt-Evans made the Bears' defense look like they were fourth stringers.

And if you're taking a long view of this game, the Bears played like Dookie.

Hey, Teej, have you heard about this? Have you seen

this one? They're calling them

Bustin' Fields. That's a good one, Boone.

Womp womp. Bucks 27,

Bears 17.

Womp womp!

Going from Green Day to Green Bay

as they clashed with Atlanta

with Drake London calling game.

And here's to you,

B. John Robinson.

Arthur loves you more than you would know. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
As a new running back scampered to 170 total yards, only to set up young way, cuckoo, cuchoo, Mrs. Robinson.
Don't do that, I'm lifting all the way. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
For the winning kick, the Falcons 25, the Packers 24. Sticking in the south, the pool was rocking in Duval, and in a touching tribute to former Jaguars coach Urban Meyer, Andre Sisco picked off Mahomes.
Let me see that thong. Fingers in your booty go.
That thong, thong, thong, thong. Taylor Swift fans said Travis Kelsey and the Chiefs are never, ever, ever going back to the Super Bowl as birthday boy Patrick Mahomes should have been less concerned with blowing out the candles and more concerned with blowing out the Jaguars.
It wasn't a blowout, but after a sky green Moore touchdown, the Chiefs had the only fans left in the stadium.

Chiefs 17, Jaguars 9.

Up to Cincinnati, where

Sleepy Joe Burrow wandered around

aimlessly, looking completely lost

as he looked at the Ravens' pristine

bleached white uniforms and said,

You ain't black.

Da-da-da-da-da.

Da-da-da-da. Da-da-da D all afternoon long, and it was the cast-off Nelson Muntz Aguilar who had the last laugh.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ravens 27, the Bengals 24.
Up to Detroit where Jared Coco Golf had America in his box. Jimmy Butler too, boom.
As Joshua's U.S. Open down the field, Reynolds wrapping up two touchdowns.
But it was a Seattle Seacocks flashing brilliance late with Pino Smith's play heading into overtime where the Hawks put on their United Auto Workers hats and walked off the Assembly Lions. Seattle 37, Lions 31.
Speaking of tennis boom, Zion Tannehill got past his overweight bad tape in New Orleans from last weekend throwing Mariah Quills all over the field to his receivers. Keenan Jimmy Fallon was very, very rude to the defense, but sober enough to smash eggs on their face on the way to two scores.
The Titans won in overtime as DeAndre 3000 Hopkins and big boy Mike Vrabel might look like outcasts, but they were ready to put some stank on you. Titans 27, the Chargers 24.
Tick, tick, tick. Out in L.A.
where San Fran's offense was humming as Tebow Samuel was like a virgin. Going untouched with a rushing touchdown.
Doing his best impression of a Christian. Who also scored for the Niners.
They weren't all easy though as quarterback Cock Dirty had an STD, a sweet touchdown as he scored to end the first half with zero time left on the clock. Some would say the points don't matter, but others disagree as Sean McVay played whose line is it anyway? Lining up for a field goal down 10, Drew carrying the Rams the outright loss, but an important against the spread cover.
That's gonna mean something,

Tiege. Niners 30, Rams 23.
Some spread. Some spread.
In mile high, Terry McLaurin-Pobert represented Washington well and took the top off, getting his hands all over an enormous TD. That's hot bro.
Speaking of tops off, Logan Thomas had the worst headshot of any Washington commander. But no, that does not make it right to tweet it, Ravel.
Keep that video in the drafts. Brandon Johnson & Johnson made the defense autistic after a deep shot almost swung the game for the Broncos.
But the commanders held on and stopped the two-point conversion, leaving D.C. fans screaming, Oh my fucking God, you're going to make me calm.
Commanders 35, Broncos 33. We finish in Dallas where Johan Sebastian Zak Wilson looked baroque as Ludwig Trayvon Beethoven Diggs had one of the three interceptions deafening out any last remaining Wilson supporters.
That Cowboys offense wasn't finely tuned as they Chop up in wood and had to use their kicker wolfgang abradeus mozart for the majority of their points it was no doubt the cowboys would win after seeing a game played with such violence cowboys 30 jets 10 that was the dumbest one we've ever done music to my ears. All right.
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Pardon my take.

Okay, week two in the books,

except for Sunday Night Football,

which we are watching the fourth quarter.

Mac Jones just threw an interception.

Hank, do you want to talk about it right now

or do you want to talk about it later?

Let's put the game play out. It's not looking good, though.
Because PFT had a really good hypothetical question. I actually should ask.
I think that we should start the show off with that hypothetical. Okay.
Would you rather be in the position of the New England Patriots right now as an organization, as a franchise, or the New York Jets? Patriots. Why is that? Go on.
Expound.

Better organizational structure in general. But in terms of right direction, wrong direction.
Lighthouse. New lighthouse.
Fake lighthouse. Their defense is banged up, but their defense is good.
I don't mean to get back on the lighthouse thing, but did you see the lighthouse and how bad it looked? It looked awesome. There's like three lights.
Listen, if you were a moth, if they turned that thing off and it was the middle of the night and all the lights were off and they turned that lighthouse on, the moth would be like, fuck that. Not worth my time.
I could already tell the lighthouse for this show is going to be one of those things that we're going to probably I'd say in the next week or so, we're going to hit a point where people like stop fucking talking about the lighthouse. And then we're going to persist.
And persist and it's gonna get very funny in like three weeks time there'll be two weeks where it sucks shit and it's so gonna have to listen to us talk about the lighthouse and it's gonna be awful it's gonna be terrible podcasting but then week 10 we're just gonna do an entire lighthouse show i actually did reach out to the U.S. Coast Guard for comment on the situation

because there was a very funny graphic that the Sports Business Journal put out

of the tallest lighthouses in America,

and it had the New England Patriots one listed as number one,

and then number two was Cape Hatteras, and then the rest of them.

There was an asterisk next to the New England one.

It said, asterisk, not an actual functioning lighthouse.

Hank, thoughts?

Mack Jones, yeah, threw an interception.

So we'll talk about the game at the end after.

But I think – asterisk not an actual functioning lighthouse hank thoughts uh uh mac jones yeah through an interception so all right we'll talk about the game at the end after but i think we should maybe fourth quarter yet either okay maybe fours up maybe we can address that though you would rather be the patriots in the situation you're in than the new york jets definitely definitely i'd probably agree i've got it i've got that the question is. There's no Patriots players that are deactivating Twitter.

There's no subtweets.

There's nothing like that going on within the organization.

There is some silver lining to this situation.

And their defense is banged up.

So according to Jason OTC, he's a cap guy on Twitter.

If the cap goes up to $256 million next year,

the teams with the most effective cap space would be, number one, the New England Patriots.

Bang.

115 million.

Number two, Chicago Bears.

99 million.

Number three, Washington Commanders.

85 million.

We're rich.

We're rich, boys.

I didn't scroll down that far.

Exactly.

We're rich.

We're rich.

We got all this money to spend.

Yeah.

You're going to get Kirk Cousins.

I don't think so.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

All right.

Well, we'll talk about the Jets and Cowboys. We'll talk about Sunday Night Football when we get there.
Week two in the books. We found some things out this week.
We're going to go through every game. Some hard truths.
I'm saying it's hard truths time, which we'll get to. But let's start with the morning slate or afternoon slate.
No, morning slate. Ravens-Bengals was the first game I wrote down.
Ravens 27, Bengals 24. Lamar Jackson continues to own the Cincinnati Bengals and Joe Burrow.
I think he's 7-1 in the last eight against them. And also Joe Burrow continues his streak of coming out the gate slowly.
So he's 1-7 in weeks 1-2. The Bengals, this is my big takeaway.
I want to talk about the Ravens as well, but Bengals fans were booing the Bengals in the first half. Do we think that's appropriate? Good sports town or bad sports town? I would say good sports town.
I would too just because of how bad their offense looked in the first half i have i actually have a plan to fix the bengals offense you ready for this yeah it's so crazy it might work they should throw the ball downfield to jamar chase occasionally well they're it's turns out they're not they're not at all yeah just like last year when joe burrow missed a lot of training camp and he came in first two weeks they looked looked off. They will probably be fine.
But also Joe Burrow re-injured his calf and was seen limping after. Not great.
So I actually am in favor of the booing because it felt like it wasn't a boo. You guys suck.
It was a boo. Be better.
Yeah. There's a difference in the boo.
They expect more. It was like, we want you to, we know you're better than this boo i actually shout out to cincinnati for raising the standards so high in the last couple years i was shocked by the because after after one year of success they would never boo right but after a couple years they expect it so they're gonna let them know the fans in cincinnati had a banner day there was also a great headbutt oh this is the fan head textbook headbutt this this dude was wearing zubaz overalls which strong look very strong look and he was uh he was apprehended by security in the concourse and there was a guy that was talking shit to him executes a perfectly placed like scottish hooligan style headbutt while handcuffed while handcuffed to the guy's chin knocks his glasses off that was the best part and knocks him out yeah the the glass sound the glasses sound and knockoff made it a 10 out of 10 head.
I was I was actually wondering this because I saw I've seen some Philly fights recently. I've seen some Bengals fights.
I've seen some Cowboys fights today. Do you think that teams their fans fight better and have more entertaining fights and are more prone to like physically escalating a situation if the team is good or if the team is bad? Oh, that's a good question.
I feel like it's just a fan base. Yeah.
Yeah. I think if the team's really good, they get softer.
I think you need to be... It's like good enough where you expect more, but you still have that grit to you.
But then you get another level. If you're great, then you start robbing banks.
Yeah, well, yeah, right. Kick it off.
If you're on either end of the spectrum, really, really bad or really, really good, I think apathy probably comes into play a little bit. It's like, yeah, it's not worth fighting.
Like, we're going to lose this anyway. Or it's not worth fighting.
We're good. We're going to win this game.
Yeah. Right in that middle zone is where you want probably the angriest fans.
I also saw a great video of a Philly fan after Thursday Night Football. He was just walking with a leash and a Vikings helmet.
And someone yelled at him from the car, and he's like, I'm just walking my dog! And he was just walking the Vikings helmet down the street. But yeah, the Bengals are looking bad.
They were rusty again to start the game. Joe Burrowrow i think had what was it i think it was 35 yards in the first half um and they just they look off and now that he might be injured again i would say there's you took the panic button out yeah you look at it especially with the ravens being 2-0 and beating you at home and the browns will see what happens on monday night football and knowing the landscape of the AFC, you can't dig yourself that big of a hole.
Yeah, if you're a Bengals fan, you're not smashing the panic button because it's happened before. Like you said, they get off to slow starts with Joe, but you're locating it.
You took it out of the garage. You want to know that it's still where you left it the last time that you put it away.
The Bengals, their offense just looks out of sync. Again, with Jamar Chase, if you can get him downfield, that would be nice because he's fucking awesome, and you should throw him the ball occasionally.
The Ravens, however, look pretty good. Dude.
But Odell, he might be hurt. Is he hurt? I don't think it matters.
They're already the most injured team. They've somehow made Nelson Aguilar good.
Yeah, they made Nelson Aguilar good. That's the hardest thing in the world to do.
It was a great catch that he had. Zay Flowers looks awesome.
It's still shocking to me to see Baltimore receivers that are that dynamic. Yeah, Zay Flowers is phenomenal.
Lamar Jackson was making big plays, big throws. I also, I don't know if this is part of Todd Munkin's offense, but it felt like, and this might be anecdotal because we only have two games to go from, and we were watching this game, obviously, but it felt like Lamar didn't have as many designed runs but was able to run very effectively because lanes were just open and he was getting like big.
Whenever they needed a big first down, he was able to get it with his feet and not put himself in harm's way. He was just racking off eight-yard runs like it was easy.
And it was used perfectly where it's like it wasn't like a designed run. It wasn't him running for his life.
It was looking downfield. It's not there.
Oh, yeah, I'm Lamar Jackson. Here's the space for me to do this.
Yeah, he looks awesome. And I haven't seen Harbaugh that fired up after an early season win in a long time.
He was like shoving his assistants. I love it.
I love it. The Ravens are one of the best teams in the entire league right now so i i'm very much looking forward to seeing how they operate with an awesome passing offense yes the uh by the way we mentioned on friday but uh ebo our great stats guy uh john harbaugh is uh 23 and 2 against the spread in their last 25 games is an underdog.
Underdog king.

Pretty good, yeah.

He gets the boys riled up, ready to go. And yeah, the Ravens, with all the injuries they've had, which that's kind of redundant when we talk about the Ravens.
We shouldn't even have to mention their injuries because we just presume that they're injured. But yeah, the Ravens looked very good today.
Yeah, if I was a Bengals fan watching this and you see Joe limping around after after the game he's got a cap injury i would want him to get the preemptive aaron rogers sheath put on his heel yeah like just install that swear ankle brace install that during the week so that nothing happens to him also another haircut yeah what if he just keeps getting shorter and short just shave it all off yeah if he's just gonna keep doing it i i i saw the second half of the Bengals, it felt like they found something where they started to kind of wake up for the season. So if you're a Bengals fan, you're saying, okay, we – because the first half literally looked like a replay of the Browns game where it was the same thing and they just couldn't do anything offensively.
So maybe that's it. Maybe Monday night football against the Rams, which would be a tough game.'ll get right maybe yeah you'll come out and feel good i would like uh yeah i i feel like bangles fans don't panic don't hit the panic button i'm putting them in the uh you'll be you'll be just fine category you'll be just fine you'll be just fine but also and this is a scary thing to even think about but i was thinking about this so i have to say what I think about.
And I know Bengals fans deep in the back of their heads are thinking about this because you're 0-2. I do think the Bengals will be heard from later on this season.
I'm not panicking about the Bengals this year. But if for some reason this season does go sideways, these are the type of seasons where you're like, wait, we have this window here.
What the fuck just happened? It's a window season. So you like, there's an extra little panic when you start.
Oh, and two, and you're supposed to be a Superbowl contending team because you're like, wait, we can't waste one of these seasons. Yeah.
They'll, they'll be fine. In one way that you can tell that they're still definitely in that window is that the people that are taking the most joy in their losses outside the division, the chiefs fans.
Yes. Chiefs fans still make sure to include you and you're, Oh, awesome.
The Bengals loss. That means they're scared.
That means that they're scared. It means they're scared.
Okay. Speaking of the chiefs, chiefs, 17 Jaguars, nine, what we thought was going to be one of the funnest games of the, of the weekend was probably the worst, probably the sloppiest worst we had in this game.
If you missed it, there was four consecutive plays, plays, not possessions, plays. That was Kansas City fumble, Jacksonville fumble, Kansas City fumble snap, interception.
Four straight plays. Hank just scored.
The Patriots just scored 17-10. Are they gone for two? No.
They're down 14 in the fourth quarter. You go for two in these spots.
A lot of time, though. A lot of time.
A lot of time. But, yeah, so we had fumble, Jacksonville fumble, fumble snap, interception.
Yeah, it's ugly. It was ugly.
Can we blame that on the heat? Because they brought the giant thermometer out, which I love. You get two giant thermometer seasons, one at the start of the year, and then one once it gets really cold.
And on the sideline in Jacksonville, it was 120 degrees on the giant thermometer. I don't know if that thing was calibrated or what, but that's a very hot day.
Everybody was in the pool. The pool was rocking.
The pool was absolutely filled. Just everybody.
You don't get out of the pool, by the way, if you're at a football game and you get in the pool in Jacksonville, you just stay in there and piss. Yes.
For the rest of the day. But it was it was a bad game.
It was ugly. Trevor Lawrence didn't look very good today.
He looked bad. So we had Trevor Lawrence had since 2016 when they started tracking this.
Trevor Lawrence had the most pass attempts in the red zone without a completion. Seven.
So they went to the red. It felt like the Jaguars in the red zone.
The Chiefs at the beginning of the game wanted to basically give the Jaguars the game. They were getting, you know, fumble lock and all this stuff.
And the Jaguars just couldn't do anything offensively. And then Mahomes that drive at the end of the first half I want to say, where they kind of woke up and went right down the field.
That's like, that's a game that Jaguars, you're killing yourself because you held the Chiefs to 17 points. And if your offense was just semi-competent, you win that game.
Like that's a very winnable game for the Jaguars that just did not go their way. Yeah, as far as the Chiefs go, the passing offense still doesn't look good, doesn't look much better.
Carious Tony had a hilarious fumble. He had a very funny fumble where he ran backwards.
He fumbled like 20 yards backwards. Yeah, he continues to be hilarious to me.
Sky Moore, good receiver, needs to change his number. Yeah.
He wears number 24, right? 24, that's not a receiver number. I know you can wear whatever number you feel that you are that day.
24 is not a receiver number. He and Pacheco should switch.
They should switch. Absolutely.
Isn't he 19? Pacheco is 10, I think. 10.
10. Yes.
They should switch. They should absolutely 100% switch.
The offense in general this season so far averaging 18.5 points per game. The Chiefs.
Yeah. Not good.
Small sample size. Only two games.
Now compared to the commanders that have eric biennemi and they're averaging 28 points a game i just thought that was interesting interesting we also had the very rare uh two two offensive uh line things mahomes passing to an offensive lineman which is a very funny play you should be allowed to do that by the way he just stood there he's like what the fuck dude why'd you throw that to me if you weigh over 300 pounds you should be constantly eligible it should be yes you should be allowed to catch that, by the way. He just stood there.
He's like, what the fuck, dude? Why'd you throw that to me? If you weigh over 300 pounds, you should be constantly eligible. You should be allowed to catch the ball.
I agree. And then we also had the Chiefs benched Juwan Taylor in the middle of a drive and then brought him back in.
Now, Juwan Taylor, if you remember on Thursday Night Football opening night, was getting put all over X videos, being like, this guy's offside on every play the league said we're gonna watch it closer and they started calling it on him and so they benched him in the middle of a drive which is very rare brought him back but they benched him for maybe uh the best name i've ever seen on a football field they benched him for prince tega wanoga that's pretty good yeah he's a uh he's he's from africa he he moved to alabama i want to believe and he became a four-star recruit after playing football for one single year prince tega wanoga when when you can maybe look it up jake wanogo maybe prince tega wanogo what a fucking how awesome is that to be that good of an athlete huge human being to play football for a single year and immediately georgia's like i want you he went to auburn it'd be incredible yeah it'd be incredible yeah um yeah shout out prince tega if you're just named prince that's very cool tega wanogo i still think i still think the best football name of all time that we don't talk about enough is dick butkus yes his name is literally fact dick butkus dick butkus yeah yeah i mean he's he was i think he was on the field for week one he probably needs to play for the bears probably they could use him uh patrick mahomes is 28 years old today congrats patrick depressing stat time no i don't want to i don't want to are you is Is this going to be another like we're never going to watch a Super Bowl again?

Do you think we're going to be watching Patrick Holmes when we're 50 years old?

Yeah.

Probably.

Yeah, for sure.

And I realized that and I was like, fuck.

Yeah, we might be.

But he's going to be old.

And they're going to be talking about him like he's old.

He's like 38 years old.

They're going to be like, wow, I can't believe that you're still out here on the field.

I can't believe you're still alive and able to form sentences.

Wow, you're so old, 38. And then we're going to be 50.
And my son's going to be like, what's this graphic saying? The Bears could have drafted him. Yeah.
Don't fuck. Don't.
It's ancient history. Yeah.
I don't want to think about that. Yeah.
That's. Yeah.
But he is 20 years old and is already a Hall of Famer. Hall of Fame career.
I think if you're 28 years old, if you retire today, he's a Hall of Famer. First ballot.
That's got to be the cool. I just want to see someone do that.
Yeah. Instead of walking away from a team like the Lions when they stink, walk away at the prime of your career when you're on a very, very good team.
Right. If Andrew Luck had retired with two Super Bowls.
Yeah. In the middle of a dynasty walk away.
Yeah. But the Chiefs, that was a big win for the Chiefs because it did feel like, oh, shit, are they going to start 0-2? Now, they play the Bears next week, so that's a win for them.

But still, that was a big win to go into Jacksonville

with, like, I would say a B-minus game on offense and win.

Yeah, I'd say worse than that.

I'd say, like, a C.

They had a C game, and they came out with a win.

So you're 1-1.

And Chris Jones is back, and he was heard from.

And Travis Kelsey also.

Also is back.

Back and heard from.

Yes, and heard from. Okay, next up, Hank is dying.
Hank, you want to give us an update? How's this going? Dolphins are driving the ball, passing a stop. Maybe a pick.
A pick six. Maybe a pick six.
A pick six would be nice for you. Okay, next up, Seahawks-Lions.
We said this on Friday, but this was going to be the most fun game, and it really kind of proved to be that when these two teams play, why can't we get these two teams playing on? Pick. There's your pick.
Yeah, he's nice. Hank called it.
Let's go. Hank asked for it and it delivered.
Wow, Hank. Coach Hank.
Huge. Hank's back.
Yeah, the Seahawks Lions, all they do is play awesome games together. That's what they do.
Yeah. Did you see the new thing that the Lions were starting to do this week with the blue ski masks? Yes.
So CD Deuce said that he wanted to see Detroit Lions fans rocking blue ski masks at home, which is weird because he's – this is his first year in Detroit, right? Yeah. But he's like anointed himself as being like the fan representative.
I like that. So that's CD De deuce doing the cd deuce things and so he asked them to wear blue ski masks it's a great idea until you lose and then the other team gets to wear blue ski masks in the locker room while they celebrate yes you have to be ready for that but yeah the uh the lions i guess they looked okay um but it was just too many points from the seahawks gino smith looked if there was one play where he just started dancing around like he was michael vick and he ended up going backwards like yes like cadarius tony yes on that one play but um yeah it was a fun game fun game to watch so gino smith was lights out in the overtime uh lions defense couldn't stop any anyone uh they are now since 2022 they've had three losses where their their offense has scored more than 30 points that's tough yeah that's tough to do also i would like to now we love dan campbell we love dan camp love him uh phenomenal coach has the lines going in the right direction this was a big big game they had the barry sanders statue that they unveiled which it's crazy it took this long i know there was bad blood but it's crazy barry sanders should have gotten a statue when he was still playing yeah it's insane also the statue they were they they nailed it it looks cool i haven't seen it it looks very very cool so barry sanders statue day lions big home game uh tim robinson.
It was a Detroiter, Detroitian, Detroit native. He, I think, is now like if the Chiefs thought maybe Paul Rudd had a little bit of the magic, Tim Robinson definitely trumps that in terms of cool NFL fans.
But Dan Campbell, he doesn't really make a lot of sense sometimes. And again, this is coming from a place of love.
So just know that I'm not criticizing him in the fact that he's a bad coach. He's a good coach.
But I have a question for you, PFT. And I think Lions fans might be thinking the same thing.
Dan Campbell, in the second quarter, fourth and four at the 31, he went for it. Turnover on downs.
Or sorry, yeah, he went for it instead of kicking a field goal. In the second half, fourth and two at Detroit 45, he went for it, turnover on downs.
The Seahawks went and scored, so then they went up 24-21 aggressive dan campbell i like that dan campbell's

aggressive fake punts all this stuff he's aggressive what the fuck was he doing at the end of the game when the lions had the ball at the 50 with all three timeouts down three and they basically were like let's play for overtime that didn't make any sense at all if you're going to be aggressive be aggressive exactly that's my only thing is like be consistently aggressive so it's not really like Dan Campbell is a bad coach.

It's just be – I think Lions fans would probably want him to be consistently aggressive in that. Be aggressive all the time because it's kind of like sitting at a blackjack table and you're like sometimes I'll split and sometimes I won't.
No, no. You have to play – if you're going to play one way, play that way the entire game.
Yeah, it's so frustrating when he doesn't do it at the end. When it probably makes the most sense to be aggressive in that situation.
It would make more sense to get all conservative in the first half or if you're on your own 45-yard line and you decide that you're going to go for it instead of punt. If you're going to play that way for the vast majority of the game and then when you actually have a chance to win, we all shrivel up.

I don't know. I would like to hear what his explanation was on that, because I don't it didn't make any sense at the time.

Doesn't make any more sense later. There might have been something that he he saw.

I don't know. But I think that's a fair criticism of Dan Campbell there, where it's like, dude, you have an offense that can move the ball.
that is move. I know they lost an offensive line.
They were down a couple offensive linemen today. I think Taylor Decker didn't play.
And then they, they got a Vita Vita. I think that's how it was, how you pronounce his name.
He got hurt. So they were, they had a little protection issue.
Once they were down a couple offensive linemen, I think Sewell was moving over, but but still you were you were able to move the ball pretty well all day uh and you had three timeouts and you were sitting on the 50 yard line take some shots win the game right then don't go to overtime they never got the ball back yeah this tells me that that dan campbell doesn't respect jack fox enough the fact that they went forward on fourth and two from their own 45 you would have pinned them deep no doubt in my mind uh the the offense for the line still looks good so i wouldn't panic if you're detroit jared threw his first pick in like 380 plus uh pass attempts the streak is over it wasn't his fault not the the running back's fault yeah he cut off his route early and i'm in ross st brown looked awesome again today yeah i'm Ross St. Brown is just, he got hurt.
He was hobbling off. I don't know what ended up happening.
It was his foot, but he hobbled off. And then like one play later, they ran a trick play with him running the ball.
And it was like, he's such a fucking, he's just built different. This goes back to that thing that we're talking about on Friday's show, where if the Seahawks, they were in a position where they were massive favorites in week one they get the shit kicked out of them and then they're underdogs in week two you bet on that team every time and p carol i think is a consistent enough coach where you can say okay the team isn't going to fall apart right they're going to be they're going to be competitive in most games that they play yeah and geno smith Smith looked great.
He had a nice bounce-back game, and like I said,

I think he was six or seven in overtime.

He was just picking them apart.

Tyler Lockett's going to be catching touchdown passes

until we're 55 years old.

For the rest of the time.

And that is the Patriots game.

The Dolphins just scored a touchdown.

Jake clapped.

Jake clapped right in Hank's face.

The Shrek clapped.

That was like Northwestern.

Now, Hank, there's still eight minutes left.

Never say never.

Don't ever count out touchdown Mac.

Yeah, I think it's over.

Max, Max memes.

Found that a little too funny, I would say, Hank.

No, I'm laughing at the camera angle.

Oh, no, don't.

We're not looking at YouTube.

Subscribe.

Great golf videos.

Last thing with the lions game did you guys happen to see the horniest man alive at the lions game yeah i got tagged in it oh you got tagged in it um can i read the text messages so i don't i'm not i think this is kind of a weird move to take a picture of someone texting yes uh, they did. Whoever ended up posting it did black out all the numbers.
So that's good. So it's kind of like one of those situations where we can have a good laugh.
No one gets harmed. I'll read the text messages to you.
The woman says to the man, give me a few. I'm going home after this.
He replied, OK. She then replied, then I'm fingering myself for a while.
You've got my pussy throbbing. He wrote back, if you can't squirt, then just video you.
And he actually wrote, if you can't squirt, then just video you pissing. And she wrote back, oh, I'm squirting.
And he wrote back, I want you to piss on my hard. And then he didn't finish that one.
I think I know where he's going. And then he wrote, I want you so fucking bad.
She wrote back, I want you looking up at me while I watch you eat my pussy. He said, fuck yes.
And then he said, I want to come see you over after this game. Lions fans, you got to be more into the game.
I'm going to say it right now. That's bad fandom.
You got to be more into the game. When was this picture taken? I don't know.
That matters. This game was back and forth all game.
You can't do that in overtime. It's Barry Sanders day.
You can't do that in overtime. You can't be telling girls, if you can't squirt, just piss.
Yeah. You hold up.
Listen, it's late in the game. I'm going to hold my fours up real quick, and then I'll bring them over to your house.
I mean, come on. You got to be more locked in yeah it's tough it's a it's a tough look but listen we're we're all humans at the end of the day big cat i don't know about this guy he's a dog if you can't squirt just piss that guy is just like every other guy being like you know what um i don't need to actually know if you come as long as you as long as you pretend like it happened then it's good enough for me doing some investigative journalism the screenshot time on the phone is 1343 which is 143 so it's very early in the game okay yeah that's like first detroit's eastern time right so did they have to order at 143 eastern yeah uh i don't know you got to be locked in because now here's a win probably counterpoint to that's early in the game.
You probably pissed him into overtime. Yeah.
Pissed him into overtime. And he also was just walking around with a loaded gun the rest of the game.
Just thinking about this. Like his mind was not in the game.
You got to be locked into the game. It was probably right after they tied it.
This is one of the biggest games the Lions have had home game like the hype barry sanders day and you're just your your thought is not like oh how are we going to convert this third down it's hey just send me a video you pissing that'll be squirting i'm looking come on okay i'm looking at the win probability at the time at the time this text was sent uh it was lions big time win probably so that win. So that tells me this Lions fans getting a little too comfortable with the new look Lions.
Yep. You're like, hey, we got this.
It's over. We'll never give up a lead.
That's you need that. You need a little adjustment here.
So all Lions fans, I think this goes for everyone. You all have to take ownership of the piss, not squirt guy and be like, we got to do better as a fan base.

No pissing for the rest of the week, Lions fans.

Only squirting.

Only squirting.

That's the only way you're allowed to get rid of any fluids.

And make sure you video it.

Oh, man.

Yeah, it's never...

Text messages when you're sexting like that,

they just never look good.

Yeah, I'm usually not a fan of taking a picture over somebody's shoulder. this one's too funny that's a pretty good one if you can't squirt then just video yourself pissing i want you to squirt on my heart uh okay uh let's take a quick break and then we will come back with some more games yeah we're gonna jump back to some games in a second before do, they're brought to you by Coors Light.
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The auction is going to go live from September 28th until September 30th. Bid to become the MVP of your entire tailgate game day will never be the same okay next up we got Bills Raiders Bills 38 Raiders 10 I maybe I'm taking a leap here but I think that Bills fans for a brief second when Jimmy Garoppolo went 75 yards in your face and the Raiders went up 7-0, you saw your whole entire world crumble.
Yeah, you thought this was it. You thought window closed.
We said it. We're like, this is a problem.
This is going to be an issue if the Bills don't win this game. And then from that point on, they went on a 38-3 run and five of their next seven drives were touchdowns and the sixth was a field goal you know what the turning point in this game was was josh allen teabagging the safety yes just trying to hurdle him landing with his nutsack right on top of his head and from that you can't come back from getting teabagged no and josh just ended up teabagging for the rest of the game it was it was great to see then after the game josh was talking about how he felt last week he said said, I love feeling how I felt last week.
I really do because it makes the good feel that much better. I actually don't think that he believes that.
No. He looked very depressed after last week's game.
But turns out Josh Allen's still good. He's very, very good.
He's very, very good. He was making Josh Allen throws from weird angles, bullets all over the place.
So the bills are okay. Like that was a game you needed to blow out the Raiders.
And that's exactly what you did. You absolutely blew the doors off of them and you got to feel good again.
You even had a Stefan dig singing the shout song, which the bills tweeted out like being like, see he's happy. He likes it here.
Yeah. So it feels like all is right with the world.
The Bills just have to not play the Jets. Yeah.
The Jets have that. It's the Jets Super Bowl whenever they play the Bills.
Right. And the Jets have two games have made Josh Allen look very mortal and the Bills look bad.
And so you just got to not play the Jets. Get out of the division.
Get out of the Jets division. And also it helps when you hold Josh Jacobs to nine carries for negative two yards Yeah You can't be wearing number zero When you have a stat line like that Did you see Matt Milano's interception? He absolutely It was a beautiful offensive rebound box out Yeah Of Josh Jacobs They asked him if he bossed Josh Jacobs on it And he was like like, no, I Milano'd him.
We'll see if that one catches on. It's just a delicious cookie.
Just a delicious cookie or a perverted Italian. Yes, yes.
But that was an off. That was a man play by him.
Yeah, it was awesome. He just like he manned him up.
Also, did you see Takeo Spikes tweet about his obstructed view? He's not so happy. It was actually like the worst.
So I guess he went as a guest of the Bills. They're building a new stadium is the big point.
But he was in a suite and he couldn't see the entire field. Well, that's funny because if you're sitting behind Takiya Spikes, you also cannot see the field.
Correct. Because his neck goes from the 20-yard line to the other 20-yard line.
They did one of these like can you guess this players on twitter last week yes i saw that it was a silhouette of takio spikes but they were trying to say okay played for these franchises had this many tackles from this year to this year it's like we don't need to see anything else i recognize that outline anywhere yes they called him the volcano because his neck went from his shoulder blade up to the side of his ears. Speaking of great football names.
Oh, Tequila Spikes. Yeah, fantastic.
Yeah, but the Bills, they're good. They're back.
Yeah, they're back. The Bills are back.
Are they playing? They're playing the Commanders in Raujohn, Maryland next week. So rivalry game.
A little revenge for 1991. That will be a very good game.
Yeah. I'm excited for that game.
It should should be good but i feel i'm happy for for bill's mafia because i do think and you guys can tweet us if we're way off but when the raiders went up seven nothing there was definitely like a holy fuck our lives flashed before our eyes yeah you can't lose like what if we just suck and like every everything sucks now yeah yeah so the bills are all the way back the ra, I think the Raiders are going to be not good. Yeah.
They beat a Broncos team. I saw a stat.
I think it was the Giants didn't score for the first six quarters of the season, and they have more points than the Raiders on the season. Yeah.
So the Raiders. That's tough.
It's going to be a long season. But good news is let's take a look at the schedule for the Raiders, that's, that's tough.
It's going to be a long season,

but good news is let's take a look at the schedule for the Raiders.

I'm sure that's easy.

They're home against the Steelers next week.

And then at the Chargers,

they could win.

They could peel off a couple of wins better get them in now though,

because I feel like the wheels are going to fall off.

If I know,

if I know Josh McDaniels,

this is the season will end poorly.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, the Patriots are back, Hank.

Five minutes left.

This is fun watching you just sweat it out.

I mean, if you're watching the YouTube, go subscribe.

You get to see Hank just like he's all over his seat just trying to figure out a way to.

Now you should go for two.

Sure.

Yeah, I agree.

If you're an analytics boy like us, we're men actually we've graduated um okay next up titans chargers brandon staley's getting fired brandon staley knock off is not a nerd anymore and i mean that in a in a bad way yeah i liked it when he was a nerd yes i liked it when brandon staley was going for fourth downs when it was like fourth and five doing crazy shit left and right now he's playing he's playing like a p word yes i'm not going to say the full word but he's playing like one yes he is if he's a pussy he's turning he's turned from a nerd into a pussy he's a mental pussy yeah he uh similar to the the dan campbell conversation about like consistent. If you're going to be conservative all the time, be conservative all the time.
If you're going to be aggressive, be aggressive. He punted on fourth and one from the Titans 44.
Yeah, that's not the Brandon Staley I know. It's like.
How do you turn somebody back into a nerd? Like, it's whatever the reverse swirly or reverse wedgie. I don't know.
We need to bully him back into being a nerd so is brandon staley not a good coach or is it the chargers are so overhyped he gets unduly criticized i don't i don't think that they're that overhyped so although they do before the seat come on you know that every year they're the darling of like look at this roster me personally i did not do that this a lot of media does, and the dudes that they have, like it's the dude off thing. They get, Justin Herbert is the media darling, and he's a very good quarterback, but it doesn't show up winning-wise a lot, like as much as it should.
So Justin Herbert, and this isn't on him, he had, or sorry, the Chargers are the 33rd team in Super Bowl era with 50 plus points and zero turnovers through two games. And they're the only one that's 0 and 2.
Yep. That's there's a lot of bad Chargers stats.
I also have one. They had Justin Herbert at 300 yards to TDs.
The Chargers defense had five sacks. Derek Henry didn't get 100 yards and the lost the game.
Yeah, it's very tough to lose those games. It's really, really tough.
And they went for two. I liked when they went for two and they threw the pass to the offensive lineman right in Vrabel's face because you know that Vrabel is watching that and being like, damn, I really wish we could do something like that.
That's straight out of his playbook. It's tough for Chargers fans when you're playing decent football and then your coach is just absolutely ruining it for you right i do think he might be fired i i think he's definitely on the hot seat uh because there definitely feels like justin herbert and maybe justin herbert isn't better than this but and they were throwing a deep today they were throwing they were they were actually like letting him kind of some shots, which is good because that's what you should do with Justin Herbert.
But the fact that they got the ball first in overtime, went three and out. Ryan Tannehill, who came off one of the worst games ever, was able to just throw like dink and dunk.
He had two big passes, but for the most part, he was able to just throw checkdowns and beat them he had that one bomb though that set him up for the touchdown the short derrick he had a 70 yard pass the 70 yard pass was sick yeah he had a 70 yard pass and a 40 yard pass uh light house is blinking different colors that's sick oh wow hank incredible watch out watch out you guys invented a stop boys are back But yeah. Also, you're not factoring how tall it is.

Like your analogy that if you wouldn't be able to see it, it's so tall and the light's so bright.

You'd be able to see it from a long distance.

Well, wouldn't you?

Your eyes would be drawn to the giant jumbotron that they built instead.

No, not if you're.

It's so tall that you could.

You probably see that thing from situate.

Absolutely not.

No.

If there was a coast, if there was an actual like ocean next probably can't see from the ocean then it's a then it's a uh safety hazard for all ships coming nearby mac jones always has like a little bit of a scared look on his face he's got to fix his face i don't think he's as bad as people say he is but he he hasn't bad no i know i mean well the interception was bad one two had intercept but face, like, he's got a hat. Maybe he needs a mustache.
You know what it is? A mustache? It goes back to when he got carried off the field and was crying. That's all I see.
You're right. That's all I see when I look at Max.
He needs to, like, punch a small child or something. Or, like, do some kind of, like, badass thing.
Win a fight. Get another DUI.
He should win a fight. Facial hair and win a fight.
Maybe a tattoo. Neck tat.
Or he gets a DUI on purpose and then prepares himself for the mug shot. Yes.
And has an awesome looking mug shot during it. He needs some type of moment that changes it.
Yeah. Because, yeah, you think about it.
It's the crying. It's the gritty and the pro bowl.
Yep. And the DUI.
But he needs something to harden him. I think he needs a mustache.
I think he needs a Fu Manchu. That would actually rock.
Titans Chargers. So I'm a big believer in the Titans just because Mike Vribble is a great coach and they make everyone miserable to play against.
But this, again, Brandon Staley, you've got to start winning games, right? Yeah. If you're a defensive coach and your offense is playing great and you're still not doing anything, it's like, what are you doing here? What would you say you do here, Brandon? He's a defensive coach, and his team's finished 29th and 23rd scoring against the last two years, and he inherited a team that he went backwards.
Now, a spin zone, if you're a Chargers fan, you'd rather stink defensively and be good offensively than have it be like 2009 all over again when you had the number one ranked offense and number one ranked defense, and you still don't make the playoffs. But they have so many dudes.
They got a lot of dudes. They have so many dudes.
Some of those dudes got to do something. I think we have a loser leaves town game next week for the Chargers.
Who are they playing? At the Vikings. Oh, that is.
Both 0-2. That's a good call.
I think the loser's done. The loser of that should be your pinky team.
Well, Vikings already. You'll take both? You don't want to.
Let me think about that. If the Vikings win that game, I'll add the Chargers.
Yeah, Chargers, Vikings, both teams have a lot of guys. Yeah, by the way, people were like, every year I do the pinky team the pinky team and they're like well you're such a coward for not doing like the Chiefs or something like I'm not the the genesis of it is I'm saying I do not think this team will win the Super Bowl so it would be disingenuous to be like I don't think the Chiefs are gonna win the Super you're daring of course I think you're daring the Chiefs to take your pinky right I don't the Vikings are not going to win the Bowl.
And if they do, I will cut off the tip of my pinky. That's the point.
I'm telling you definitively, this team will not win the Super Bowl. If I say the Bengals or the Chiefs, I still think the Bengals could win the Super Bowl.
So it would be stupid for me to say that. People want me.
They're sickos, perverts. They want it.
What about the Patriots? I don't think their odds were good enough before the season. The Vikings were plus 4,000.
Yeah. They were right on the cusp because they won the NFC North last year.
Yeah. They went to the playoffs.
They were, you know, in that conversation. You had them a Super Bowl future on.
I know at least one person who put a Super Bowl future on. That was me.
Yeah. 4,000, that's a lot of pluses yes um okay next up we'll i'll do the bears at the end of the first games just so that people can wait for my uh sad i got a lot of a lot of things i have to say uh falcons packers the packers blew this game kind of yeah but arthur smith is a good coach no arthur smith's a great he's a very good coach, it turns out.
He's also kind of crazy. And he looks awesome.
We thought he was debating going for it at the end of the game instead of kicking the field goal. They were just showing a close-up of him.
That's the angle that you get of a coach that's making an insane decision. Yes.
But we have no idea what was actually happening on the field during that time. I think Ku was just warming up and staying off the field until it was time for him to kick.
But the fact that we thought Arthur Smith could do it says a lot about how afraid of Arthur Smith's brain we are. And also, Arthur Smith, the mustache is working because you don't know this because you're obviously on the sidelines.
The camera loves you. Yeah.
The camera was all over, Art. And he had the cutoffs.
Oh, he looked cut off good. He looked so strong.
Is Arthur Smith a daddy? is a zaddy i think he's a zaddy he is a zaddy he's daddy goals he looks he looks like a uh a truck driver that won the lottery and never told anybody about it yes you know kind of yeah kind of yeah actually like some dude that was in logistics and then got a lot of money and then pretended to not be in logistics anymore it was like i'll just coach football instead yeah that's exactly what arthur smith looks like yeah you're right you nailed it fun fact about desmond ritter he's now 30 and 0 at home as a starter going back to college on friday i said that he had never lost a home game yeah so shout out desmond ritter i like what arthur smith does like i know fantasy owners again are probably pissed off about the whole kyle pitt situation because they don't really throw him the ball yeah he's a great decoy though yeah and also that's not in the game Arthur Smith's fault there's like two guys three guys that are running with Kyle Pitts and then boom you get Drake London that's wide open underneath right so and B. John Robinson is the real deal he's so fun he had he had 172 yards today he makes people miss's so explosive.
It unfortunately goes even further to the case of drafting a running back and like let it because he does look faster than everyone. Yeah, he's got those rookie legs.
You can tell. You can tell when a rookie running back starts to run the ball.
Yeah. Yeah, he's got great balance, too.
Yeah, I think he has the best balance in the NFL. The Falcons are fun.
Yeah, they might be Especially when they wear those red helmets and black uniforms. Awesome combination.
The Falcons helmets today were great. I say the Packers blew it because, and again, we're going to get to my own problems.
So I know that everyone will reply and be like, oh, worry about yourself. I get it.
But the Packers had a 24-12 lead, and they ran 10 plays after that lead, and they gained seven total yards. They needed just first downs, and they didn't get a first down.
They punted three times. They were not able.
Jordan Love was not able to get him a first down. You didn't get him one on that sneak? No, the one where he, that was the drunkest of football players ever looked on the field without being drunk it was so funny did he even get the ball on that i know i think he just dove forward without the ball he you know what he looked like uh he looked like when you're walking down your stairs at night and you and you miss the last step you think there's one more step and you do the fake step yep you're like oh fuck and your whole world kind of like falls apart a second.
Yeah, he looked like that. It was not good.
But, yeah, that was a game the Packers should have won. They were, again, 24-12, and they ran 10 offensive plays and gained seven yards.
We're going to pause real quick because they're kicking a field goal. 55 yards.
Two minutes and 19 seconds left. No way, Jason Sanders.
The Dolphins are kicking a field goal to put the game away to end Hank's season. To make it a two-possession game.
Week two. And the kick is up.
And Hank is alive. This is on the wind machine.
Hank is alive. If the Patriots get back down to red zone.
They're getting back down to red zone. We'll let you just narrate it.
It's Kenny Chesney night too, Hank. You can't lose on Kenny Chesney night.
Wait, what did Kenny Chesney do? He rang the bell. Where? At the top of the lighthouse.
Oh, okay. He's got content on United States of America.
Ding. We should have a little lighthouse counter in the bottom of the YouTube.
It's so ridiculous that the person that does the ceremony before the game at the lighthouse doesn't light the lighthouse. They ring the bell at the top of the lighthouse.
They should light the lighthouse. They should be a torch.
Yeah. Can we play a little? Like the Olympics.
Can we play a little Falcon schedule game real quick? Yeah, let's look ahead. Let's just look ahead real quick.
When there was like enemy ships coming into town, they rang the bell. It's like the most important part of the lighthouse.
You're obsessed with the lighthouse. We've on hey you're talking about the falcon paul revere relax you're so all you think about is the lighthouse we've already moved on uh bait sisters falcons at lions jaguars i mean the thing is the i don't really know what the falcons are so i don't like they could win both those games i'm just gonna i'm gonna look at the rest of the schedule and say they will win uh 55 of their games yeah they don't have a tough schedule how wild they only have one true road game the first six weeks yeah this is a london game they get they have the texans and the cardinals so those are those are nice two wins uh yeah i think the falcons could be like a nine win team they'll beat the jets they have the bears also a win the The Colts.
Yeah, the Falcons are going to the playoffs.

I think so.

I'm going to say it right now.

Let's play whose line it is anyway.

Can you look up the Falcons at Lions?

Falcons at Lions.

I'm going to take Lions minus three.

I'm going to say Lions minus four.

Hank, are you looking it up?

No.

Oh.

Whose line is it anyway, Hank?

Is Belichick wearing a wedding ring on his index finger?

That's a weird move. He's married to the game.
That's a weird move. He's married to the game.
Of lacrosse? Yeah. I don't think it's out yet.
What do you mean it's not out yet? I don't see it. That's a lie.
I don't see it. It's definitely out.
Okay. All right.
Well, whose line is it anyway? Jake, go find that line for us. Lines minus four.
Thank you. Okay.
Thanks, Jake. Nailed it.
Good job. It came out.
Hank didn't even look. I did.
No, no. The line came out in between when Hank said that and when Jake said it.
It is so true. Let's go overdriving.
All right. You're driving.
You're driving. All right.
Let's do Colts-Texans, and then we will pause for the end of this game, and then we'll come back with the Bears talk. So Colts-Tts Texans Gardner Minshew might be the best backup of all time he's very good he's so fucking good so fun when he gets into this today's game was really a story about how god-awful the Texans offensive line is yeah because I think they were down four players I think they were basically playing all their all their second stringers but we always always talk about David Carr and his rookie season.

He just got sacked.

And then he was like a scared dog for the rest of his career because every time he would get the ball, he'd be like,

oh, shit, I'm about to get hit.

Right now, CJ Stroud has been sacked 11 times in two games,

which is on pace to smash the record of 76 in 2002 when David Carr. Yeah, yeah he was sacked six times today just absolutely no time uh and they throw it a lot i think he had like didn't he have another game where he had like 40 plus pass attempts so it's he's not only like under pressure but they're also making him throw it a shitload so cj stroud yeah 47 pass attempts 30 for 47 yeah he's gonna get killed uh also from this game we gave jake an assignment and that's to pronounce kayemi fairbairn's full name yeah so they showed it on the graphic and it was very small font okay here we go you got this john christian kaimi noee Al-O-Ame-Ka-Ike-Oke-Kumu-Pa.
Really rolled right off the tip of your tongue. That was beautiful, Jake.
Thanks. Fourth and four.
And you want to talk through this, Hank? Oh, they're timeout. All right.
So finish up this game. The Colts probably should figure out how not to get Anthony Richardson hurt.
Yeah, he self-reported the concussion, apparently. And he's been hurt now twice in two games.
Should we reach the level where we need Anthony Richardson to protect himself against himself? Probably. Stop running the ball so much, Anthony.
You look awesome when you do it, and he's really good when he does it. I would say he looks like the best of the rookie quarterbacks

that we've seen so far. Well, in limited

fashion. He only played what? Like a quarter today?

Yeah, but he looked awesome that quarter. He did.
He scored a touchdown.

Two. Two touchdowns.

Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, the Colts

definitively

beating the Texans like this.

Not that bad. Alright, here we go, Hank.
Fourth and four.

Fourth in game. Shotgun.

60 seconds. Make sure you get two feet inbound hank all right talk about it hank lateral play lateral lateral quick throw get across you gotta get across oh no lateral they did the lateral play lateral push push push oh he might have got it no i don't think he did oh i think he got it oh my god what a play that was oh that was great they're giving it to him let's go let's go hank remember hunter henry was part of the arkansas lateral right now yeah they're reviewing it he was part of the arkansas lateral sure little rugby strange 69 is a great jersey oh that's an incredible jersey oh you remember jordan gross on the pan a gross 69.
Yeah. That was awesome.
Was that Hunter Henry who lateraled it? No. That's a first down, maybe.
That's a first down, Hank. That's a first down.
Fight. You got to fight.
You got to fight. Come on, Hank.
Fight, Hank. Fight.
Keep fighting. Strange.
Light up. Do you want to do a couple ads while they do the review, PFT? Yeah, I would love to.
I would love to do a couple ads while they do the review. This episode of Part of My Take is being brought to you by our great, great friends over at Omega Accounting Solutions.
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That's 855-505-DAVE or visit omegataxcredits.com slash barstoolsportsnow. Hank, do you want to get back into doing play-by-play here real quick? And I'll do the other ad later.
Yeah, it seems like they're trying to not give it to him. I don't think there's disputable evidence, though.
It's close. I think he got it.
I think the fact that they ruled it a first down first. Yeah, I think that's it right there.
You can't see. Yeah, you can.
You can see exactly where it is. You can see where the marker is and his knees down there.
This should be a first down. It should be clear.
This should be a first down. Come on, Hank.
And Hank, if you're getting stressed out, you should give BetterHelp a call. Yes.
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BetterHelp.com slash PMT. Okay, I think that's it, Hank.
I think the game might be over. Yeah, it's over.
I think the dynasty might be over, Hank. I think the game might be over.
It's over. That's bullshit.
You guys definitely had that first down. That was the first down.
That was the first down. That's bullshit.
don't know what the the actual ruling was there

but you got robbed of at least a an attempt did they blow the whistle before he pitched it back was it like a no they just progress the evidence was not clear from what i saw brutal all right so hank let's talk about this game real quick Thoughts

0-2

Fought hard in both games. Where are you at now? We're just not giving ourselves, you know, we're not helping ourselves out.
We're not, you know, above average team. We're an average team.
When you're an average team, you can't, you know, make mistakes, fumble in the other. When you're in field goal range, you've got to convert enough fourth downs,

can't throw interceptions.

Both games, I was like,

I feel like we're interviewing Bill Belichick.

You need your QB1 to be clutch.

Both games, they've had chances to be clutch.

They came up short both times.

Very short.

But the NFL, it's the little things. It's the little things.
It's the game of ventures. Truly, truly.
You guys might have played the toughest schedule, too, to start. Yeah, definitely.
Two hard games. Two very hard games.
And the Dolphins are 2-0 and look great. And the Pats could easily be 2-0, but they're 0-2.
Well, yeah. You learned that from your one week as a Nebraska fan.
Yeah. So don't do that.
I mean, that was a first down. That was a first down.
Jake, first down uh jake dolphins 2-0 yeah 2-0 but everyone on twitter is telling me it's an asterisk season oh because of this play okay but i disagree you're 2-0 2-0 jake will you apologize for being 2-0 no i will not good man dolphins 2-0 two road games too at the chargers at the patriots yep on paper it looks really impressive and on the

field it looks really impressive did you hear mike mcdaniel when he was talking about his his first year coaching how he was so excited to have his first three game losing streak because that's the one thing that he thought that he was like more prepared for than anybody else thought yeah is like keeping your guys together which is the biggest question we had about mcdaniel like, yeah, I kept telling my wife, I'm so excited to hit a three game losing streak.

Yeah, it's good.

It makes me appreciate the 2-0 start even more.

First time over 2001, they won the Super Bowl that year.

Oh, there we go.

Hank's back.

We're back.

Hank's back.

Which lighthouse did they have?

Did they have a big lighthouse or the small lighthouse?

I think they were still in the old stadium, so no lighthouse.

So under that rule, Mac Jones has to get hurt in Malik Cunningham? Bailey Zapp. Bailey Zapp.
What are you guys laughing about over there? You got to talk. I'm sorry.
We can't do this camera angle again. It looks absolutely ridiculous.
Has it changed? How short do I look? You look so small. All right, wait gonna get I'm gonna be shorter real quick if you're watching on YouTube welcome back to part of my take a show hosted by I'm former president Jimmy Carter and this is my co-host Joe Biden is Joe Biden tall have you seen that picture have you seen the Jimmy Carter picture He literally looks like he should be in a Russian nesting doll.
It's the exact same thing. It's the forced perspective of the camera angles.
Yeah. I'm not actually sure.
He's the tiniest person in the world. I'm not a little man.
Yeah, it's a parallax effect. You got it.
So, Hank, you're now saying Super Bowl. No, I mean, that's just what the stats and trends would lead you to believe.
Yeah, the last time you were on to Super Bowl.

Dynasty.

Back to fiction.

So how are you feeling overall about, I mean, Mac Jones,

the problem is he has moments where he looks very good.

Yeah, the offensive line was terrible.

He was getting pressured all night.

He was scrambling well.

He made some good throws.

You know, the fumble wasn't his fault. Interception was.
Hey, just say the refs fucked you. The refs did fuck us.
You guys were going to score a touchdown on that drive. The refs fucked you.
And you were going to go for two. You were going to win.
Yeah, 0-2 is tough. The spoiler thing is turning out to not be true.
Again, when you said it, it made no sense. Every game is going this is you know this is gonna be the most fun season for you the good thing is you guys have your literal like get right is the Jets that's nice yeah next week that's nice you'll I mean Zach Wilson that's that has to feel comforting yeah like you is that in Foxborough too I don't.
No, that's in the Meadowlands. And then you go into Dallas.
Oh. That defense is going to...
That is your Super Bowl. I got a split jersey.
That is your Super Bowl. No, I feel like a team Super Bowl in the regular season has to be a home game.
Oh, please get a Zekiel Elliott split jersey. Yeah.
Yes. Yes, you absolutely should.
That would rule. Tua with another really good night, too.
Tua's good. Same with Raheem Mostert.
Except for when he turned his ankle on that one play. That looked bad.
And having a guy named Van Ginkle on your team is just... He's a monster.
He's a monster. I thought, Hank, maybe you can correct me if I'm wrong.
You are. At the start of that drive...
Were you doing the Tua fingers? What? Hold my fours up. Are you sure? Yeah.
You were wiggling them around a little bit. It looked like the two of fingers.
How many fingers was he holding up? I was holding up four. I don't know.
Something I noticed. Yeah, four.
Fourth down, fourth quarter. Congrats, Jake.
Two and O. Thanks.
You too. Asterix.
Yeah. Yeah.
Big time asterix. That play should have been a first down just by how cool it was.
Yeah. Strange 69.
How are you going to cut that guy short? Offensive lineman getting a first down to extend the game. Just be like, hey, let's play this out.
We need someone in the review booth who's like, do we want more football or less football? Well, I think that. The camera wasn't directly down the line either.
It was like the PFTJ thing. It was a parallax effect angle that they use to reverse it.
Sometimes there are plays that are just awesome enough where there should be somebody with common sense, like you said, that reviews them and they're like, this play was too cool. Right.
We can't erase this play from football history. And also right now, that play is now erased from the memory of all football.
And there's 30 seconds left. And the minute this game ends, NFL Sunday is over.
Yeah it a little bit let us watch it but we get two games tomorrow we get two games tomorrow I love two games on Monday's two games on Monday's rules all right uh let's do it Bucks 27 Bears 17 um it's over it's over what's over it's over the Justin Fields era it's over he's not the guy it's over it's over what's over it's over the justin fields era it's over he's not the guy it's it's bad he it's probably the the like most dis disheartening heartbreaking realization to be like i put all my blind faith into this i i spent all summer being is going to be awesome. He's awesome.
The bears have never had a quarterback. This awesome.
Uh, nothing looks good. And every problem that I knew in the back of my head was there has jumped up.
We got the bad screenshots. It doesn't seem like he's seeing the field.
Well, I know the is stupid but it's also him like he's not he's not able to get it down the field I know the offensive line sucks but again it's Justin Fields like he has not made any of the steps forward that you wanted as a passer that I was hoping for this year and I now officially think it's's over. Yeah, but it might not be.
Remember how good he looked on that first drive? Yeah, listen, of course he could, like, maybe things change and the rest of the year looks incredible and this is the lowest point of the season, but the Bears have lost 12 straight games. They have not won a game since October 24th.
They're a bad team. They're a bad franchise.
They're never going to have the right quarterback. It just sucks.
It's all over. They're going to find a way, even with two first-round picks, to have us not get Drake May or Caleb Williams.
Or one of those guys will suck because the Bears will always have a sucky quarterback.'s over it's I'm back to just the the bottom of the bottom the it's over it's it's it's really really sad I spent the entire game just like sighing deep sighs and and clenching my my stomach pillow it's just over there he I don't think that he's going to end up being what he needs to be to be a good NFL quarterback and I it kills me because I root for him so hard he's such a great guy and I want him to be good because he's so electric but some of the things that he's missing you just can't miss that one that one screenshot where there's a guy running wide open up the seam and it ends up being a sack, those are plays that you have to be able to make year three as a quarterback. Or at least start being able to make them, to start being able to see the progression, to be like, you can keep building it.
As of this moment, none of it is there, and it's just a terrible, terrible feeling. So how much goes on him? How much goes on the coaching? I think it's everyone's to blame.
I think Iberflus is, I mean, you can't, losing 12 games in a row, the defense is bad. And he's a defensive coach.
He was the DC today. And Baker Mayfield, who I like, looked awesome.
Baker Mayfield was able to do anything. Mike Evans had more yards receiving than the Bears had net passing yards.
That a problem like that's a the whole thing is a joke so I I know people thought I was going to be like oh no I still have hope I don't I have no hope I hope maybe something crazy happens and I'm like completely surprised and somewhere along the line this year he proves that he is the guy I've always wanted him to be and that I hope he is. But as of right now, as it's standing, week two, and I know overreactions can always be dangerous, but this isn't an overreaction.
This is a accumulation of everything that we've seen, hoping that it would start to piece itself together. And we have not seen any signs of that happening.
We're reaching the point where it would almost be worse if Justin Fields in like the second half of the season had flashes of excellence again. And then you had to go through another offseason being like, I think I believe in Justin Fields again.
Right. And I don't know what happened to him.
Like whatever they worked with him on this offseason, he looks like a different guy. The problem is I think that he's not trusting himself,

and he's waiting for guys to get Ohio State open,

and that doesn't happen in the NFL.

Like, you can't wait for guys to be wide open.

Like, the timing is off.

What he's seeing is off.

He'll have a couple throws here and there.

That touchdown to Chase Claypool, who shadowed Chase Claypool for saving his career by showing up early here and there that touchdown to chase claypool who shadow chase

claypool for saving his career by showing up early today and scoring a touchdown but it just doesn't

when you're watching it you have to be honest none of it looks good right now and none of it looks

like it's going in the right direction so what other conclusion would i have to be then it's over

like you i again maybe something clicks and maybe everything changes. And if that happens, I'll be the happiest person in the world.
But if I have to, like, objectively analyze it as of this second, it's not good. And I don't see how it gets better.
So it sucks. It's been a really depressing day.
It was so much fun last year to watch bears games and have them be exciting right it felt like it was a different franchise that you were watching yeah their defense sucked ass and they were getting beat a lot but it was still fun it was fun football now it's just back to being like depressing bears football right and it's like back to square one back to trying to figure out what happens like going forward because you know the cap you got a lot of cap, you got all these picks. But the most important position in all of professional American sports is the quarterback.
And the Bears as a franchise have never been able to figure out the quarterback. Do you think it's something to do with Ohio State quarterbacks that the receivers are too good in college? I mean, and that's why they don't pin out in the NFL because like you said said, you don't get college open.
I don't know. And maybe, you know, like it's sick to say, but like, I want Justin Fields to be good.
So bad that like, if he went somewhere else and got good, I'd be like, okay, I'm rooting for him. Yeah.
I'm rooting for him. Yeah.
And, and it just right now, it's just, I have to be honest and I have to say that it, none of it, none of it looks good and none of it looks like it's going in the right direction. It pains me to hear you like this.
It was really, really depressing. It's so much better for the show when you have an extreme amount of hope, and then it gets stolen from you in a heartbreaking fashion.
Now I'm actually legitimately saying, are the Bears the worst team in the NFL? They might be. I don't know, because the way they've been playing and the way they look and like the Bucs like they were in this game which is crazy they made it a three-point game and then what happened to pick six like and then another interception so it's just and and that was the story last year where they were in games in the fourth quarter nothing you know nothing good would happen it was like bad pick six too yeah we're like oh screen pass yeah we're like no he's building it's fine like winning games is not important right now at some point losing 12 games in a row is a problem for everyone yeah for the coaches for the for the players for everyone like you can't lose 12 games in a row and be like oh no we're building something here yeah and whose first round pick do you have we have the panthers so you have panthers and yours right which i mean maybe it'll be one two i was saying that during the stream i was like has any team ever had one two you're gonna have it's so depressing a very interesting decision to make if the bears stink and end up getting like a pick in the top five maybe even two picks in the top five no if they have the number one pick you have to take caleb williams yeah that's i i don't care how the rest of the season goes you just have to but then the world should get mad at the Bears for taking Caleb Williams and probably robbing us yeah robbing the world of Caleb I understand how this all works it was it's it's really hard to continue to like to love and get hurt that's really what you're a fool you're a fool big cat yeah because I really feel like a fool I yeah I feel like a real fool because i really fell in love again yeah and and i'm back to square one where i just have always been where this team just never does anything right and it's just it hurts it really hurts so uh i can't wait to fall in love again and have the same thing happen it will happen people will get to watch it i'll fall in love with someone new and then i'm my heart broken again i'm like the everyone knows like you know like the girl who's in like her like early 40s like will she ever find someone no probably not it's probably been too long now was that movie was it 21 dresses yeah i don't know i'm that i'm that like hey will he ever find the one he loves no you just might you just be a slut for the rest of your life yeah i just gotta keep like like i it's it's really sad but it's like hey you got a good life you know you got good friends you have a great job you get a good family like don't worry about it also but then all i do is worry about people literally all i do people would hate the show if we all had good winning teams oh my god we were just stunting on oh i was actually thinking about that if the bears ever got good or the badgers like won a big like if the badgers won a national title people would fucking despise me yeah they just love i'm a punching bag which i'm fine being one but it hurts the guy i'm sick of getting punched i still think he'll be okay i don't i think he'll be okay what define okay they just need to run that first drive series but defenses know what to do now and they know not to let him run and they know to make him a pocket he seems like he's afraid of running sometimes like he'll he'll break contain he'll get out outside the tackle box and you'll see the little light bulb go on above justin field said he'd be like oh i could run it no justin that's a bad justin try to pass the ball do you know what it is i think what's happening this season is he's really trying his absolute hardest to be a pocket passer and throw and and learn how to throw the ball at an nfl level and the problem is he's trying to stay in the pocket and do the right things and that gives him no time like you'll see it multiple times during the game where the light bulb will go off like i gotta run but it's too late because the nfl and if you if you if you try your hardest to be the pocket passer and then the very last second try to run you're gonna get a 300 pound guy like jumping on your back he's thinking last year he was he would run a lot he wouldn't try to pass as much he would just run he'd'd take off and run.
He's thinking too much. It sucks.
It is the cycle of death when it comes to a quarterback that's so awesome with their legs, where they are good running the ball. And then they think, well, no, I need to dial it back to extend my career.
I need to be more of a pocket passer. And then you lose everything that you loved about the guy and everything that made him an awesome player.
And then eventually he'll get back to the cycle of, fuck it, I'm my legs and scramble right and when he gets back to that point then he's going to be fun to watch again and then he'll be like well if i really want to make it in this league i gotta learn how to be a pocket passer not run all the time they have the chiefs next week what if you win what if you win whose line is it anyway i did that whole thing today chiefs i got myself so pumped up today i was like chiefs aren't like chief. They're not juggernauts.
Seven and a half. I think it's more.
Seven and a half sounds right to me. I think it's nine.
What is it? More. 11 and a half.
11. 12.
13. Oh, my God.
This is how bad the Bears are. I'm going to bet the Bears.
It makes sense. That's how bad the Bears are.
Let's ride on the Bears. Yep.
Like 13-point spreads are only for very bad teams. Yeah, that's really bad.
And then we play the Broncos, which maybe we'll be able to win because the Broncos can't get out of their own way. And then I have to figure out what tattoo I'm going to get.
Oh, yeah. Thursday night football.
Because I'm going to have to get a tattoo. The Bears aren't going to win that game.
The commanders are going to play down. No, they are not going to win that game.
They're really bad. You guys are being nice friends and being like, maybe it will change.
They're bad. I just want you to have hope.
They're a bad team and a bad organization, and it will never, ever be different. And that's it.
The Bucs are good, by the way. Baker's awesome.
Baker is fun. I'm telling you, I think his teammates love playing with him.
He's putting his head down. He's running people over.
He's getting people's faces talking shit. You get to see the old confident, cocky Baker.
It's fun. Yeah, he's 2-0, no interceptions, 490 yards, three TDs, no interceptions.
Tom Brady never went 2-0 with no interceptions with the Bucs. Oh, interesting.
It's very interesting. Is Baker better than Tom? I think maybe.
It is cool to see Baker reinvigorated and play really good football. Yeah.
It's fun to watch. Okay.
That was enough about the Bears. Baker, though.
Congrats to Baker. Bucs are fun.
NFC South, not so bad. Yeah.
It happens every year. We think we know we know everything when the season starts right and then we get proven to be fucking morons nfc west better than we thought we never learn anything yes we never learn anything uh commanders though two and oh two and oh 35 33 a very fun game i will not be apologizing for being two and oh the last time the commanders were two and oh was 2011 with the original RG3, Rex Grossman III, as a quarterback.
This was an awesome second half. First half stunk.
We stunk in the first half. Russell Wilson, I don't know what it is about him.
He's really good in the first half. Maybe it's the altitude.
It's crazy. I think the Broncos just go into every game with a great game plan, use all their good plays, and then they suck.
Yeah, right off the bat. They came out hot.
They were thrown deep to Mims. Russell Wilson looked like old Russell Wilson.
Now he looks like old Russell Wilson in the second half. The defensive line, best defensive line in football.
I stand by that. Tied with the Eagles.
They were all over the place. They were all over the place.
Sweat, Allen, the place sweat alan pain young played pretty well chase young they said he was on a pitch count coming in and then he was just like fuck it i want to play every down if you'll let me and he did all right chase young played pretty good but when you have that entire defensive line and chase young as a bonus then yeah they're really really fucking good on defense yeah they're i mean the commanders are fun even with sam howell spinning around every single play yeah which is scary he likes his spins um but he he i listen i feel like sam howell the word to describe him this week i think last week it was moxie maybe poise this week i think he looks sharp is he three and oh as a starter yeah he's three. You don't do that by accident.
You don't. You beat the Cowboys.
Right. You beat a couple good teams in there.
The Cardinals defense, obviously, elite. But Sam Howell looks pretty good.
Good enough. I think Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season with the rest of that defense.
I think the Commanders are, you know, you could make the argument, and I'm not making this argument, but be like, oh, cardinals and broncos it doesn't matter you came back from 21 to 3 like that's t you have to have something to be able to do that yeah so the uh the last time that the commanders came down from 18 points on the road to win before today was november november 4th 1990 shout out grant boston for that fact so wow they're scoring points the. The camera's always on BNME on the sidelines.
Rivera's probably going to get a little bit pissed off at that. Yes.
They're basically anointing him the next head coach while Rivera's coaching team. Congrats to 100.
Yeah. 100.
Ron Rivera, 100. And we did see Riverboat Ron today.
You did. We did see it.
He went for two. He was playing like a little bit on that knife's edge.
And I think he was pissed off at Sean Payton. And he never beat the Broncos.
Congratulations to Ron Rivera for finally beating the Broncos. Yeah, 2015 Super Bowl revenge game.
Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful.
He doesn't forget. I also love Brian Robinson with how tall he runs.
Yeah. You don't see that very often.
A running back running as tall as he does. In high school, your coach would be like, you're running scared.
Yeah. But he runs like he loves contact.
When he gets out in the open, you're like, what's going on right now? Why is this isn't a running back? Because you're just, we're very used to how tall is he as a human being? I want to say over six feet. He's got to be 6'2".
Yeah, you don't see running backs that tall. And the way he runs, I'm always like, what's going on here? 6'1", 228.
Yeah. He's a fucking monster.
He is a monster. And he loves running directly at people and softening them up.
He's very fun to watch. I'd like to see him bounce it away from contact occasionally.
But he does. He just picks a guy.
He's like, okay, I'm going to run directly at your face. And it's crazy how many, like, the commanders for everything that happened with Dan Snyder and the franchise, like, they've drafted very well because they have a lot of fucking good players.
Well, our strategy is draft the biggest guy from the SEC that you can find. It's a great strategy.
And it's a good strategy. It's a very good strategy.
It's a really good strategy. The Eagles are doing the same thing.
Yeah. Well, there's just basically Georgia, which is the cream of the SEC.
But yeah, I feel good about the commanders for the first time in like 30 years. So I'm going to ride this wave, okay? Yes.
I'm going to be insufferable as long as we keep winning. And I've already talked myself into the possibility of us beating the Bills at home next week.
I feel like the defensive line is good enough where they can get at Josh, make him uncomfortable. And then the offense, as long as Sam plays today, I'll give Sam a B plus.
It was a birthday boys, Sam Howell, Terry McLaurin birthday on Saturday for Sam birthday on Sunday for Terry. They kissed at midnight like me and big cat do every year.
And part of my take. And they had that connection.
That was a sick ass jump ball. They threw downfield.
I I'll say this. If the commanders are three they're for real yeah because they have play the bills and the eagles yep so if they split those they're for real yep that's that that's a good test to have i think they're going to be an average to above average team this year which is to me that's like my super bowl the nfc beast is dominant seven and one shout out to the nfc beast because they're seven and one it's the first time since 1989 that a division has been seven and one and the only loss is against themselves we we eat ourselves beat ourselves up yeah um as for the broncos uh fun fact that i completely memory hold uh nathaniel hackett was two and one with the broncos to start the season oh i didn't know that did you i Did you? Yeah.
That was shocking. Well, because the week one loss was so bad that it felt like it counted as five.
They beat the Texans week two, and then they beat the 49ers. Remember that weird 11-10 game? Yeah.
In week three. What was the Texans game? Wasn't that another ugly win they had? It was an ugly win, but they were 2-1 under Nathaniel Hackett.
They're 0-2 under Sean Payton payton i know that doesn't sean payton's a way better coach than nathaniel hackett but that's kind of crazy sean payton's very happy that they're oh and two right now yeah very happy no nathaniel hackett nathaniel hackett is very happy that sean payton is oh and two right yes yes yes i don't know what the fix is for the broncos just do the first quarter plays in all four quarters I've said it before four quarters. I've said it before.
If team scripts work so great, you do the 15 plays, and then you just run it from 15 to 1. And then you also hit the flip button.
Yeah. So you just reverse the field.
Yeah, you do 1 to 15, 15 to 1, then 1 to 15 again flipped. Yep.
Pretty easy. And then 15 to 1 flipped.
And then the game's over. We could be OCs.
That's 60 plays did in madden yeah it was very easy to do i mean the broncos almost won this game at the very end the commanders played awesome in the second half and then the broncos have the hail mary at the end of the game and that was that that was a low point for me uh russell was crazy russell wilson threw a great hail mary throws it really high. Came down, got tipped like four times, ended up in the end zone.
At that point, I thought the game was over. It was like, okay, we lost.
We lost. And then people will say there was pass interference on the two-point conversion.
To them, I say, did they call it? Did they call it? I don't think they did. And I will not be apologizing for being 2-0.
They did not call it. gonna apologize so it was not a pass interference it was not pi i thought it was just let the boys play let the game be decided on the field not by the stripes great job by the officials keeping the flag in their pocket uh and then yeah again chase young played pretty well so if we can get like 75 of his ability i'm gonna be very happy boy also winning in den in Denver in September is very hard to do.
Very hard. I'm going to gas you up until the commanders get really good, and then I'm going to be a jealous bitch about it.
No, please. I expect nothing less.
Because I'm as low as I can get, and I can feel your enthusiasm. I'm very excited for you.
So it's like that fine line where I'll continue to be excited. If you win a playoff game I'm gonna be like fuck you bitch I want everything you've got like I'm gonna fucking cut your tires and key your car you motherfucking bitch oh if I win the Super Bowl if the commanders win the Super Bowl this year and don't look at me like that Max when I even said that yeah Max fuck you dude yeah you piece of shit fuck you see this is this is where I will always have your back because it's these fuckers like Max who...

And Hank is already like a different person.

He's back to humble pie.

Like he's changed.

But these fuckers like Max were like, my team's always fucking good.

Yeah, Max.

I mean, that's not...

I mean, let's just not get ahead of ourselves.

You beat the Cardinals and...

Cardinals, great defense.

And the Broncos. Yeah.
And Sam Howe just spins on everybody. Okay, You beat the Cardinals and the Broncos.

Yeah.

And Sam Howell just spins on everybody.

Okay, you beat two 0-2 teams as well.

Good point.

Fine.

Interesting.

Fine.

Also coming off a Super Bowl.

Now, Max, obviously a Super Bowl win.

Oh!

Coming off a Super Bowl.

And a World Series.

0-2.

That is quite the way to phrase that, my friend. Super Bowl appearance.
Coming off a Super Bowl and a World Series. I went to.
That is quite the way to phrase that, my friend. Super Bowl appearance.
Coming off a Super Bowl. It's like Billy when he's like, yeah, I served.
Under no circumstances do I think that the Commanders will win a Super Bowl this year. I don't think that.
I'm saying if they won a Super Bowl, I would be such a dickhead and I would love being an asshole. I would love just tasting that.
But here's a fun thing, PFT, because you were trying to give me hope being like, what if Justin Fields turns into being a good quarterback? I think it's the same chances. Mander's winning a Super Bowl, Justin Fields being a good quarterback.
It could happen. It could.
It won't. I would love that for the show.
But it could. If I won a Super Bowl and then Justin Fields was like a Pro Bowl starter.
Yeah, it could. That'd be great for everybody involved.
Anything could happen. It could happen.
I'm also on Josh Harris' watch. Well, at the end of the game, Josh Harris gave the game ball to Ron Rivera.
Nice. Last week, Ron Rivera gave the game ball to Josh Harris.
If you're a player and you see your coach and your owner getting the game balls, at some point, aren't you like, what the fuck? I hope they just keep giving it back and forth to each other. Thank you, sir.
No, thank you, sir. Like if I'm Rivera, I'm definitely giving a game ball to Josh Harris if we win the next home game.
Yeah, three and O. It's great for job security.
And Ron Rivera knows how to keep a job. Just keep giving the game ball to the guy that signs your paychecks.
But I watched him in the locker room. I watched Josh Harris.
He was wearing that same burgundy polo shirt that he wore he likes it during handshake he likes it it's interesting because that polo shirt does not have the commander's logo on it it doesn't say commander's it's like his own burgundy shirt that he brings from home i think the name's getting changed i think we're going back to football team after this season a football team or hogs hogs those are the two the two answers. Yep, or red hogs.
I'd be happy with that, too. Hogs would rule.
Hogs would be so sick. Hogs would be awesome.
It's a no-brainer. But, yeah, congrats to the Commanders.
2-0. 2-0.
Next week will be very, very interesting. Very interesting.
That's a weird way to say that. Why? Well, I don't know.
That feels nerve. Bill's minus three in Rauld John, Maryland.
What's actually fascinating about the commander's season so far, and I know they're about to play their second home game. They've only had one.
But it's weird seeing a stadium where you have a home field advantage. And we're going to have a home field advantage.
And it's crazy. Yeah.
Because in the past, it was just nobody was there. And if you were there, you were were wearing the other team's colors like when the Steelers came to town it was like 90% Yinzers in the stadium just I mean waking up 2-0 waking up 2-0 is good I'm gonna I'm gonna read all the articles I'm gonna watch all the morning shows I'm gonna get mad when they don't mention Sam Howell as being like one of the better quarterbacks in the NFC I'm gonna do all the crazy fan shit that I've missed doing.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Next up.
Wait, before the season started, Hank and I had a little debate about who you'd rather have, Mack Jones or Sam Howell. Where do you stand on that now? Mack Jones.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Is he 2-0? He's not. Sam is.
And it was his birthday. Much worse teams.
Okay. Okay.
And you are what your record says you are. Where are you seeing minus three, by the way? I'm seeing six and a half.
Six and a half. Yeah, minus three with hammer time on the bills.
I love the commanders. I love them.
Six and a half. If you love them at minus three or plus three, you've got to love them at six and a half.
I'm going to double. Next up, 49ers Rams, 49ers, 30 Rams, 23 49ers are a wagon.
They are. This was, this was like kind of a flex by the 49ers because Brock Purdy didn't even play that great.
Like he missed some deep shots that this could have been a blowout. And the 49ers still kind of had this game.
Like, yeah, the Rams were way better than I thought they were going to be. And Pakua Nakua is incredible.
He's broke the record today. 25 catches in his first two games total, which is a record for most catches in your first two NFL games.
Yeah, it turns out Matt Stafford can still throw the fucking football. Oh, he's awesome.
He's got like a laser arm. But it was more to me like the 49ers didn't play, I don't know, like it was like a B game, B minus game on offense, and they still were able to win.
How much of that would you say differently if the Rams didn't kick a meaningless field goal at the end of the game to cover the spread? That was an all-time move. I would say that they spiked it before, too.
I would say that the 49ers beat the shit out of the Rams. But since the Rams covered, it's like they didn't play their best game, but they won.
Yeah. But yeah, at the end of the game, Sean McVay knows the spread.
I don't know who he was really trying to appease on that unless he knows that the ownership. The boosters.
Yeah, the boosters. The alumni.
The alum bet on the Rams every game. And yeah, that was an ultimate meaningless but very meaningful field goal.

Yes, yes.

And the 49ers do own the Rams outside of the NFC Championship game.

I think it's nine regular season games,

which I think the 49ers' official account tweeted that.

You shouldn't tweet that.

Yeah.

When you say nine last regular season games, everyone's like, wait, but what? Why did why did you say regular season yeah what's the hell and it's like the most important game yeah one that won the rams super bowl yep on the way to the super bowl so yeah the uh the 49ers though they i it's got to be kind of scary actually hank this is a good way to bring you back in as when the patriots were like winning super bowlsls was there a part of you like week to like the 49ers if you could just start the playoffs right now just do it the only bad thing that can happen for the rest of the season is injuries yes they're a scare part of that because I know you have to play the whole season out but they are so good and I think they are the best team in football right now the regular season just feels like like the preseason for the playoffs, and you're just hoping for no injuries. Right.
Because even the losses, that's where everyone would always try and, you know, the Patriots are bad, the Patriots are bad. But when you have a good team that's as stacked as they are, you're like, bad games will happen, but we're just waiting for the playoffs.
Yeah. Get the number one seed, get a bye.
That's it. Then it's showtime.
Just coast a little bit. Going back to Skip Bayless' proclamation week one, that if the Super Bowl were week one, the 49ers would have won.
Week two, I would say the Bills. If the Super Bowl was week two, the Buffalo Bills would be world champions.
They would have even been in the playoffs, though. They had no wins.
That's true. That's a good point.
That's a great point. They would have been on the outside looking in.
Yeah. By the way, Brock Purdy.
So he did miss some big time like shot plays. I, though, think that Brock Purdy, we should start talking about Brock Purdy's greatness as it relates to Matt Campbell and the meltdown that Matt Campbell's career has had.
If you missed it, Matt Campbell, who's still the coach at Iowa State, they lost to Ohio at Ohio, Maction, this weekend. And then this little short guy on the way, because it's a Mack school, so it's basically, it looks like a high school stadium.
Matt Campbell was walking off the field, and this guy was like, you're on the hot seat. And Matt Campbell turned around and had to be held back from trying to fight this guy.
And it made me realize Matt Campbell was, he was being talked about for the USC job. Yeah.
He was the hottest name in football. And NFL.
Yeah, and NFL. He could have picked any job he wanted.
Maybe it was all Brock Purdy. He's a system coach maybe it was all brock purdy brock purdy

deserves more credit for getting matt cable to a point where all these schools were considering hiring him because since that moment he's done nothing and well yeah and brock purdy has done everything and he looks he's such a great middleman in terms of getting the ball from the center into debo samuel's hands right and or brandon iuk and just letting him cook. So I think Brock Purdy deserves even more credit and his status should go up even more when you talk about how bad it's gone for Matt Campbell since.
Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.
That's fair. One and the same.
So that was all Brock Purdy. I love it when Debo gets the ball on the outside and then he breaks a couple tackles and then you're like, oh, is he going to get out of bounds? And then he just does the little swim move and keeps hopping back inside and then goes into the end zone.
I feel like he does that every week. It's also just insane.
There's two teams. I guess the Chiefs, too, although their offenses looked clunky so far.
But the Dolphins and the 49ers, when they're humming on offense, it looks like every single player is faster than the defense. Yeah.
Like Christian McCaffrey, when he gets the ball is already running at full speed before he even gets to the hole. I love that.
Christian McCaffrey was talking shit today. It's always surprising to me when he like, it's like watching a Corgi bark at somebody after he gets tackled and then gets up in their face and starts yelling at him.
It's like, wait, you're Christian McCaffrey. You're, you're, you're not really like a shit talker, but I like it.
I like the fire. I'm actually surprised, though, that the 49ers skill position players don't talk more shit knowing Trent Williams is there.
Yeah, he can take care of everything. You can just talk shit and your big friend will handle it.
There was a clip that went viral of Trent Williams and his run blocking and his technique. And it's so fun to watch him play because he'll do shit that you don't see another offensive lineman do in the league.
He'll get over your back and then push you down from the back of your waist and just shove you straight down into the ground. He doesn't always just line up straight up against you and pancake you.
He'll get weird angles on you because he gets bored just dominating people the right way. Yeah, yeah.
He wants to emasculate you. He's awesome to watch.
He's also crushing the pancake game for Hank.

Oh, yeah.

Hank, you got that going for you.

What's the standings in pancakes?

Oh, seven.

It takes a few days.

Oh, okay.

But week one, Hank was dominating.

Look at you, Hank.

Mr. Pancakes.

It's not all bad.

It's not all bad.

All right.

Before we finish up with the last two games, let's do one last ad, and then we will talk

about the Jets with Memesie Boy.

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It's actually gold diggers, G-O-A-L, like field gold, not gold diggers.

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It's a play on words.

So it's an app for people who dig goals and want to go for the extra point together. Goals are important when you're searching for your partner this season.
My goal, of course, is to watch the commanders win it all, hypothetically. The person that you find on the league may not be rooting for the same football team, but you'll be on each other's team, which is an even bigger win.
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No, I think the Giants just finally woke up. They started the season in a 60 to nothing hole, which is pretty hard to do.
Big hole. Big hole.
But yeah, the Giants like that, that feels like a season saved today. Because if they had lost to the Cardinals, they played the 49ers on Thursday night football.
It could have easily been an 0-3 start. They saved their season in the second half.
Yeah, whatever happened at halftime with Brian Dable, he probably lit into him pretty good. Probably threw a party for a six-year-old.
Yeah, no parties on Saturday night this time, Jake? 1-0 following throwing six-year-old birthday parties this year. No, he's 1-1.
He's 1-1. Oh, yeah.
That's a bad stat. Bad stat, James.

1-0 after not following a play.

Yeah.

1-0 since the game after his birthday party for a six-year-old.

Yeah.

Let this be a lesson to all you coaches out there.

Don't celebrate your children ever.

Don't tell them they're great.

Coach.

Yeah.

Your job is to coach not to be a dad.

You're coaching for your job.

Act like it.

There's six months that you get to be a dad, and then six months where all you think about is football. Shout out Cortez being out there.
Cortez the fan. If you don't know Cortez, he's a Cardinals super fan.
He has a helmet. He wears full jersey, pads, helmet, and the helmet, it looks like he's trying to make the high school roster.
He just has a tape, and it says Cortez across the helmet, and he's the best. It's a helmet from, like, 1973.
Does absolutely no good protecting Cortez. None.
But he's got a thick skull. He'll be fine.
Yeah. The other great fan of the day was the guy that was in the crowd wearing the Duke New York Giants.
Yes the daniel jones super fan the most hateable

person alive very much very much most hateable person ever uh but the giants look good they look good in the second half and uh listen i'm rooting for the nfc beast i want i want it to be i take pride in my division they did happy to see the comeback the cardinals did run all over the giants it was pretty shocking how much james connor every single he every single time he touched the ball, he just ripped off a 10-yard run. Yeah.
So I don't know. 49ers can run the ball.
So that might be a problem on Thursday. Oh, let's play Whose Line is it anyway.
On Thursday. Where is it at? It's in San Francisco.
The Giants are staying out west. Oh, at the Greenbrier.
They're staying out west of the Greenbrier. Okay.
I'm going to say six and a half. 49ers, seven and a half.
Oh, seven flat. Ten.
Ten. Whoa.
I still like the Niners. Disrespectful.
I like them, too. I still kind of like the Niners.
I like them, too. Yeah.
That feels like Niners. Yeah.

Although they are staying out west.

Daniel Jones looked good in the second half.

And they're staying out west, PFT.

That's true.

Saquon is banged up. The Raiders stayed out east-ish.

Ish.

And they got cross-moked.

They didn't.

Yeah, but the Raiders.

They came out hot.

It's true.

The Raiders didn't stay out east.

Right.

They just went east prematurely.

Yeah. Yeah.
They went further east. You know who else went east too early when he shouldn't have? H-Man.
H-Man. Okay.
Last game. Cowboys, Jets.
Memes. Cowboys 30, Jets 10.
A shit pumping. Would you like to start? I have a question for the group that we can talk about after,

but you want to give us your quick.

You said to us, Zach Wilson didn't play that bad.

He didn't play that bad.

So you're doubling down.

In the first half, he didn't play that bad.

Well, he's Mr. Fourth Quarter, so he was definitely good in the fourth, right?

No, it unraveled.

What happened?

Oh, no.

He didn't throw any interceptions, did he? Okay, so, Memes I'll use a thought starter and you can go off this. Is there a chance that Mika to you, Micah to the rest of us, Micah Parsons is the best football player alive? I know, obviously, Patrick Mahomes exists, but Micah Parsons is watching him play football.
He is faster and stronger than everyone else on the football field. It's fucking insane.
He was everywhere. He had two sacks, nine pressures, three tackles for a loss.
He had a play where he just ripped the ball out of Dalvin Cook's hands. He's just every single play.
He's faster and better than everyone.

There's one where he sacked Zach Wilson

and then he crawled like a dog for like

nine seconds. Yeah.
And he was faster

crawling on his hands and knees than I would be if

I was sprinting. Yeah.
Very impressive

stuff. The other one where Zach Wilson's kept on

trying to reset his throwing motion.

Yeah. Micah Parsons just

buried him. I know it might

be a hot take, but he might

as we're sitting here right now, he might be the best

football player alive. Football.
I feel like he's

Thank you. The most fucked up part about it is they drafted Zach Wilson over him.
Oh, no. Well, you can't do that because he went.
I mean, Zach Wilson stinks. No, actually, you know what? It's they drafted Devontae Smith over Mic over Michael Parsons.
Michael Parsons was the pick after. Devontae Smith is a wide receiver.
On the Eagles? Yeah. I'm saying the Jazz.
I know, but the Eagles. You can't say the second pick to 11th pick, although I guess that would be, I know I have some history with that, but you guys needed a quarterback.
You can't do that. And they drafted him off of one throw at the at the combine okay so you do agree zach wilson like you need another quarterback this year you can't do this season he didn't play that bad in the first half that made it seem like all right if the defense could get a stop which they didn't do today yeah that's the concerning part is yeah, you're right.
Zach Wilson wasn't like laughably hilarious. Let's all make fun of Zach Wilson bad in the first half.
But your defense, which is supposed to be one of the best in the entire league, was pretty bad. Dallas's offense was awesome today.
Dak was great. The running game was great.
They were like perfectly balanced, just shredding what should be one of the best defenses in the league. So I am a Cowboys hater, but I will acknowledge a fact that is objectively true.
The Cowboys scored 50 points before allowing a point to start the season. The first team to score 50 points before allowing one since the Chargers and Bears in 2006.
They're historically good so far. The Cowboys are a very good football team.
You ran into a buzzsaw today, Memes, but you would have liked to see your strong units be strong units. Yeah, so the only kind of positive swing you could try to turn is that the Cowboys are the best team in the NFL right now.
Oh, okay. But play somebody in again they stink like dak prescott throws interceptions which he should have done today which he didn't it looked like the greatest offense of all time no he looks good today he did we we have to give dak credit when he looks good they had 44 minutes of possession oh it's pretty good how many minutes are there? 60.
Sauce dropped a pick six in the first half. The game's different if Sauce picks that off.
Yeah. Yeah, they take the lead.
It's just bad. It was just so bad.
You're so angry. It's so bad.
What's going to happen is the Jets aren't going to do the fun thing. They're not going to get Jameis Winston, even though they absolutely should.
Or Kirk Cous going to try to trade for kirk cousins uh they absolutely absolutely should and the vikings also should not trade kirk cousins until the season's done well if they start oh on three if they start they still won't do it if you could get a second round pick if the vikings aren't going to have kirk cousins be their quarterback next year i agree that's i brought it up last I think it's a smart move to do, but I don't think ever in a million years with a team that's like 0-3 that had expectations of the playoffs. Yeah.
They're not going to trade them away, I don't think. They should try.
They should at least pick up the phone and make a call. They're going to do something boring.
They're going to do something that's just going to be like, okay, we'll tread water, and hopefully Aaron will come back from his miracle ankle surgery in time for the playoffs, which we're not going to be in. But they're probably going to get somebody like Colt McCoy, who's like, okay, nice enough, not going to really make an impact on your season.
They're probably going to get somebody like Chad Henney, someone that doesn't really move the needle, and then you're going to have a bunch of really boring losses this year. Yeah, Chad Henney already confirmed he's staying retired.
So did Blake Portals. Yeah, nobody's coming.
We get Zach Wilson for 15 more games, and we just get to be tortured for 15 more games. Everybody gets a laugh.
I get to be miserable. Everybody wins.
Yeah, did you see Jerry had a very special guest in his box tonight he had the president of fifa that dude was in his box oh that's a good fancy fuckboy name yeah was it what's that guy's name he's definitely a pervert if you know gino gino i don't know i feel like i jerry jones is definitely angling for some sort of world gianni infantino g. Gianni Infantino.
Yeah. That guy, Gianni Infantino, walked out of Jerry World with one of those old school cartoon burlap bags with a dollar sign on it.
Yes. Jerry definitely bribed him with something.
Yes. Yeah.
You got to get another quarterback. Or you just got to jet the fuck up.
You got to get another quarterback. Your team is good enough to maybe be a playoff team.
Everything was planned correctly, but you got to get another quarterback now. I mean, but if they don't, they just have to wheel Aaron Rodgers out on his hospital.
He is getting, he is listening to Dolphins fuck. That's good.
Yeah, you guys said that. I must have missed that.
He might be trolling don't know but he said that the healing sounds there's healing sounds of dolphins having sex that checks out yeah he's also getting a weird surgery where he's getting a bridge put into his achilles so listen if aaron rogers comes back this year i will buy all the aaron rogers healing shit. I'll go on one of those retreats.
I'll do everything. If he comes back from an Achilles in under four months and plays football, I'm buying all of it.
I'll suck the vaccines out of my body. Patriots have the lighthouse.
What if the Jets just build like a hospital tower and it's just Aaron Rodgers giving the thumbs up? Gets it it's like Hugh Freeze I like that yeah what's the Patriots Lighthouse oh it's this new thing so Big Cat we have to go back because they had an old lighthouse and then they built a bigger jumbotron by the way while we were doing that is that stolen valor if you claim it to be a lighthouse. Like how we make the joke and then we

get back into the lighthouse.

Think about it. Think about it.
It's

stolen valor because a lighthouse is a

Coast Guard installation. It's supposed to be saving lives.

And it's supposed to be saving lives. If you build a fake

lighthouse that probably kills more people during

the construction than it will ever save,

that's stolen valor right there. So you

don't like to play mini golf?

What does that mean? There's fake lighthouses all over there. Are you thinking about windmills? I actually never play the windmill hole.
There's lighthouses too. Where? On like every coastal mini golf course in the windmill.
Hank, you've played every golf course in America, so you've probably seen a few more than I have. By the way, while we were talking, I just got an email that says defective product shirt.
And I was like, oh, shit. Like we screwed something up.
This is big cat wondering if there's a recall. Don't really want my money back.
Just wondering where to send it. And then it was that Justin Fields is the guy shirt that we sold.
That hurt. That hurt a lot to see.
Yeah. The Cowboys are really really fucking good hank your cowboys are really good

they are you should put a future on them i'm going to oh here we go michael parsons is incredible i he's so much fun to watch play football who do the cowboys when's the cowboys first real game patriots because they they just have been beating up on new york teams uh cowboys at sam fran Sunday. Oh my God.
They play the Cardinals

next week. Holy

shit. Yeah.
at Sam Fran Sunday. Oh my God.

They play the Cardinals next week.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

At Sam Fran.

That'll be fine.

Is it worse than the Bears?

Oh my God.

It better be for Cowboys.

This is going to be a real good litmus test.

It is at Arizona,

but if it's not 14,

it's not.

Oh,

12 and a half.

Oh,

damn. Oh, that's's gonna be a shit pumping man michael parsons is gonna how many he's gonna break the record he's he should break the record he's so fucking good uh okay last thing before we do who's back the week uh our friends from direct tv it's time to move on to the overly direct take presented by direct tv direct tv is the ultimate destination for pro football it's where fans can get their football fix this season whether you're watching games live on tv or streaming app direct tv has you covered and you can get direct tv without a satellite uh get a 400 reward card with 24 month direct tv package and receipt of 23 24 n NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube offer, not endorsed or associated details at direct tv.com.
You can be watching direct TV and watch football all year long with direct TV. Direct TV is the ultimate destination for pro football.
It's where fans can get their football fix this summer. So like we said, get a $400 reward card for with a 24 month direct tv package and receipt of the 2324 nfl sunday ticket from youtube which we have love it offer not endorse or associated details direct tv.com so we're gonna do something different at the end of uh these monday shows direct tv our direct take uh overly direct take everyone's got to bring a hot take do you have one cowboys my overly direct take is the cowboys are going to win the super bowl cowboys are going to win the super bowl my overly direct take is that the new england patriots are going to make the playoffs love it oh yeah they're going to make the playoffs patriots are going to make the play they're going to trade for kirk cousins and then everything will be fixed okay my overly direct take is the is the Tennessee Titans are going to win the AFC South.
It's very direct. Which Pete Prisco is going to be punching air.
It'd be a disaster for the Jaguars. He's going to be punching low-flying air.
Did Pete have the Jaguars winning this game? I don't think so. Okay, so this is one where it wouldn't be a disaster.
I think he has them at 14- three. Yeah.
Minimum. Jake.
The Cardinals are going to win at least five games. Five games? They've been competitive in both of these games.
Who are they winning against? I don't know. Okay.
It's a hot take. Courtesy of DirecTV.
Max. Buda Baker will be an eagle by the end of the week.
You've been talking about this concert. This is when you know.
This and this is something we saw with hank as well uh when when the patriots were rolling you become a truly insufferable fan when you see every other player and you're like yeah they'll be on my team they want to be an eagle you can tell he just wants to be a bird that's our guy there's there's just there's little there's little crumbles that are what are the crumbles are you talking about crumbs yeah a little but what are the crumbles there's little crumbles uh he practiced all week today he practiced all week and then today he was a late add to the injury report and inactive for the game okay you know they don't want to get him hurt before a deal is coming uh eagles cleared two guys off of their practice squad to make room for potentially bringing somebody else in.

Okay.

Safety.

Safeties have been bad and or hurt.

Okay.

Devontae Maddox just went out for the year.

Cardinals are 0-2.

Buda Baker, Eagle.

Okay.

Makes sense.

Buda Baker, Eagle.

Memes, your overly direct take.

Overly direct take.

Mika Parsons winning MVP.

Mika Parsons winning MVP.

That would be awesome.

When was the last time that happened?

It's got to be like Lawrence Taylor or something, right?

NFL, I mean, they never give it to defensive players.

Lawrence Taylor.

Lawrence Taylor.

There we go.

86. So, Mika Parsons MVP it's not crazy it's not crazy okay well thank you to DirecTV those are overly direct takes let's finish up we got who's back of the week Hank you want to start with who's back of the week it's also you know what I'll ask you this way row this way.
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I never take them off all weekend long. I am a joggers guy now.
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I hope you guys saw that. He's officially endorsed by Roback.
So Roback.com, getting all of our friends. Roback.com, promo code TAKE.
Hank, who's your who's back of the week? My who's back of the week is journalism. Okay.
Oh. We talked about it Thursday when it broke.
Biz and Witt on Spitting Chickles podcast. I'm like Babcock News.
They kind of broke it. They were the first to the story.
They got a lot of pushback from traditional media, hockey media, saying that this was sensationalist news. It's fake news.
Babcock's not doing this. It's not an issue.
And then Columbus ended up having to look into it more, and then today he resigned as coach. So the pen is mightier than the sword.
Yes. Shout out biz.
I liked it. He stood on it and he said, yeah, we're a players podcast.
So if you mess with the players, you're going to you're going to hear about it. I think he said you're going to hear about it.
No spit, no lube, sandpaper finish. Yeah, he though.
There was a lot of real journalists who were coming after biz being like, you guys are making it up. You're sensationalizing, doing the old playbook of trying to drag Barstool through everything.
Biz and Witt stood firm and they're like, this is what we're hearing. This is the story.
It's fucked up to do this to players. And I'm happy for those guys.
They deserve it. Yeah, apparently it was like multiple people on the team, too.
So it's not like one guy that this happened to. Yeah.
It was several players, which it's still a wild move to bring somebody into your office. Be like, show me your camera roll right now.
It's also crazy. Like I was, I was just thinking about the whole thing and how everyone was trying to take, there was this backlash to R a biz with Grinnell, like trying to take down their shows.
Merle's.

Yes.

Merle's.

Everybody rides.

They were trying to take down their show.

It's like,

these guys are popular and the biggest hockey podcast for a reason.

There's they're fucking successful,

hardworking,

smart.

Well,

maybe not hardworking smart.

Like they do.

They don't just make shit up.

They wouldn't have just made this up.

They're not crazy people.

Like they're not sensationalist.

They don't,

they don't just,

Thank you. smart like they do they don't just make shit up they wouldn't have just made this up they're not crazy people like they're not sensationalists they don't they don't just they protect players and they speak for players and they're not trying to get crazy headlines this was a story that they stood on and i'm i'm proud of them yeah it sounds crazy to say i'm proud of them they wouldn't want drama if it wasn't warranted.
Exactly. They're not drama guys.

They want to make people laugh and want to talk about the sport they love.

So the fact they were in this probably made them uncomfortable, but it's fucked up that anyone questioned their motives ever.

Yeah.

It turns out they were right.

Yeah.

So this was right on my.

I want to get my soapbox for the boys.

You should start a rumor that Iberflues is doing that to the Bears players.

I heard he was.

And then they'll get him fired.

I heard he was. Luke Getze.
PFT. My who's back of the week is Lauren Boebert.
Oh. The congressperson from Colorado.
There was a nice video that came out. She was taking in a play, enjoying the arts in Denver.
And she went there with her boyfriend. And she got caught vaping.
She was getting felt up. She was feeling her date up, and then they got kicked out, and it was a great video.
If you haven't seen it, I keep watching all the different angles that come out. I think she- I've watched so many of the angles.
So many angles, really good angles. I think she set it up because she knew she looked smoking in that dress, and she just waiting for the video she just she got kicked out intentionally so the security footage would show how great her dress looked yes on her way out and this is not me being horny no no i am being horny but i think i'm being reasonably horny given the no no no i i hundred percent i tweeted on friday night i was like listen i don't want any political weirdos after me.
Like, can we just say that video was hot? She was hot. Like she was very hot.
He was touching her tits. She was touching his dick.
Then they left. They got kicked out.
And you could see the security cam of them like giggling. They probably went home and fucked for hours.
They were so happy. It's the perfect.
It's the quintessential eighth grade date. They went to go see a show.
they felt each other up. Beetlejuice.
They vaped and then they got kicked out. That is my ideal 8th grade weekend.
Yeah, it was hot. It was very hot.
Hank, have you seen the same videos we've seen? Wasn't it like a children's musical? Beetlejuice. It's Beetlejuice.
There was like a kid right behind her. No, wasn't it like Beetlejuice by like the sixth graders?

I don't know about that. I don't think so.

It wasn't a musical.

Yeah, no, it was.

It was Beetlejuice the musical.

Oh, yeah, it was a musical.

It's known for the movie, I feel like.

Mrs. Jones seventh grade class.

Well.

I don't think that's the case.

I think you're fake news.

I think that you're.

I thought it was like her daughter's play.

Yeah, it was hot.

It was hot.

It was not her daughter's play.

I don't think.

Yeah.

It was hot as fuck. Boebert gomas one's gotta go oh don't make tiffany gomez she's gotta be i'll tell you what she's my number one i saw that dress those motherfuckers aren't real oh they're not yeah no they're great they're not a knock until bobert takes a uh feet pick i'm gonna go with go with Gomez.
Yeah. She's my day one.
Yeah, for sure. She's our queen.
She's our queen. But yeah, Boebert didn't know you had it in you.
You had it in you. You definitely had it in you a couple times.
And no political weirdos. We don't give a fuck about politics when we say that video was hot.
It's just an objectively funny, hot thing. It made me hot.
It was really good. It made me hot.
I would vote for her. I wish.
Just so that we could get more videos of her getting kicked out of places for doing handjobs. Yeah.
All right. Here we go.
So that we're fair and balanced. Criticize the video.
It wasn't long enough. Yeah.
There it is. I didn't get all the angles.
There it is, folks. I would have liked to see it go all the way to the house just let them let them like zoom in why are you kicking people out of your theater for for having sex yeah lock me up throw away the key honest here if they were gross then kick them out yeah absolutely but it wasn't gross but hot it was really good yeah uh all right i don't think it was a kid's place i'm as bad okay there you go um well it wasn't bad anyway it was hot did you see it hank it was hot i don't think you've watched the video that was my problem with it people were debating good or bad hypocrite this just say it was hot and then on her way out she's like flipping off the security guards that's hot too hot hot as fuck yeah um okay my who's back the week is is people getting mad about kids running on fields.
Oh, yeah. So we have to debate again.
Always. I love it.
People getting upset because Colorado won as a 24-point favorite against Colorado State in overtime. And then everyone took to Twitter and was like, this is bullshit.
24-point favorite. I don't know how we keep having this debate.
It's very funny to me because i just every time it pops up i think of all the kids colorado being boulder being this case uh who had like the best night ever and rushed the field went out and partied made memories with their friends forever and then woke up the next day and saw like a bunch of people being like you can't do that as a 24 point favorite and they're like oh man last night actually wasn't that fun now that i'm reading this stranger on twitter uh i think a good rule of thumb is if you're between the ages of 18 and 24 squeeze all the fun out of life that you possibly can correct it's it's awesome being that age and do it yeah do whatever makes you feel good and people who are criticizing you probably are jealous that they don't have that much fun left if they if they were there they would be doing the exact same thing that you would and my favorite argument is the people who are like well if if you do this for every game it loses all the uh feeling for it and and like the the uniqueness of it okay well then that's on. If Colorado storms the field every single game, it won't be as fun by the 10th time.
That's on them. They've done that to them themselves.
Let them do it to themselves. Who cares? I want to see a team that's a heavy underdog storm the field after you kick a late, meaningless field goal to cover.
Yeah. The Rams fans should have done that.
You should have stormed the field to celebrate that.

Yeah.

Just have fun.

Just don't listen to people that tell you not to have fun because they're lame.

Right. It's a very simple college kids having fun.

Someone says is bad.

I'm going to side with the college kids because I remember like I think that's really what it comes down to is I think there's people who just unfortunately don't remember what it was like to be like 20 years old and how fucking awesome it was to just do random shit with your friends i remember it was awesome i wish i could do it every now and then now at the same token like if you let's say that you're like an alabama fan and you point at that you're like look at you guys you guys shouldn't be doing this that's just because they've had all the joy sucked out of them by having years and years of success right and these high expectations when you're just new to it like colorado is absolutely enjoy every second last year also alabama when they do it they do it probably for the national title that's also fun yeah i get it there's different yes there's different like schools that have varying degrees i i still though like if kids are doing it and having fun, fuck it. Have fun.
Live your life. You remember when they saw in the field at Tennessee last year and the goalposts? Yeah, it was like in the river, right? Yeah, that goalpost is still floating around Knoxville somewhere.
That's fun. Enjoy that.
Yeah. Because who knows? Next year, you might lose to florida in heartbreaking fashion just

get your teeth kicked in i got to storm the field in madison one time when when we beat ohio state my freshman year it was fun we all got to storm the court for basketball yeah it was oh and you guys won the big 10 championship we did we want to share it you got to speak on the stage yeah it was fucking fun yeah it's really cool yeah um my who's back is champagne wasn't weird at all that I was a 37-year-old dude swearing on stage.

No.

That Lauren Bomber video was really cool. Yeah.
My who's back is champagne. It wasn't weird at all that I was a 37-year-old dude swearing on stage.
No. That Lauren Bobert video was so hot.
I'm going to watch it again. I am too.
Let's watch it together. My who's back is champagne.
Let's get a blanket and watch it together. All right, champagne.
It's champagne season in the locker room. We had two division clinchers this week in baseball, the Braves and the Dodgers, and then the Orioles and Rays.
Division's not settled, but they're both in the playoffs. Two weeks left.
PFT. That's another thing people get mad about.
The celebration when you clinch the playoffs. Fuck it.
Spray some champagne. The Orioles ran out of booze, and they started just spraying condiments on each other.
Oh, really?

Yeah.

That's pretty awesome.

Doing lines of Old Bay.

Also probably, what's his name?

Peter Angelos?

No.

Yeah.

He probably was like, oh, we only need like a 24 rack.

Well, he probably got him Andre.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jay Roger.

Yeah.

I'm watching the video right now.

She just goes right at his head.

Yeah.

And she did a little like, oh, stop.

We're watching Beetlejuice. Yeah.
And he was like, no, you're so hot, babe. I want you to come all over my.
I want you to, instead of, if you can't squirt, just pee. Yeah.
Champagne season. So who else? So Braves and Dodgers won the division.
Orioles and Rays clinched a playoff spot. And we have two weeks left.
Bloopy, by the way, today got absolutely torched by like a six-year-old. Oh, I love that.
I think he was playing free safety. Just got burned.
Burned. Baseball playoffs.
Yeah. Cubs, I don't think we'll be in it.
But baseball playoffs. Also, Dingers only.
PFT is going to lose. I'm going to lose.
Second place is still up for grabs. Who's going to lose the second weekend? I lost the second.
I said Jordan Alvarez, and he was injured the day before the draft, and I didn't know that. If he was healthy, it's anybody's game.
I've started training. I mean, he got my arm.
I ordered spider tack. Yeah.
Think about how bad his team is. I had a pedophile, alleged, who I had to drop.
And you subtracted your score. Take away his home run.
It was bad very bad season for me who's gonna be catching though that's the question that's a three-way race between me memes and shane and evan okay right now it's memes jake i would love for you to catch i'm trailing by 16 i would love for you to catch i'm happy to catch it would be so funny yeah oh my god oh i'd be so sorry yeah would you bring out of the golf course did you bring like icy hot or oh biofreeze yeah i keep it in my golf bag yeah you would have biofreeze on it you just wear biofreeze shin guards yeah it'd be great also who's back of the week is uh max because he's going to the doctor finally tomorrow so hopefully he'll get cured yep you're gonna do it you're gonna do it you're gonna do Good sweetie, you got this. You want me to come with you? No,.
You're going to do it. You're going to do it.
You're going to do it, sweetie.

You got this.

You want me to come with you?

No, but I am going to the DMV tomorrow morning to the doctor's office, which sounds like the worst morning in the history of life.

You're a grown up.

If you're the AWL, if Max's doctor is an AWL and you're listening to this right now,

you have permission to break HIPAA and send us the report.

Or just bring out the tarp and put them down. Can you get us a report so you can give it to us on Wednesday? Yeah.
What was that? Does that mean you're not? I will not be giving you a report. Why? We share everything here.
You just had to move away from that voice. What do you mean? You're not going to tell us what's wrong with you? Oh, I'll tell you.
I mean, I'm not going to give you my vitals.

Well, there's a rumor that you have swine flu.

And that you were attacked by a bear.

Swine 09.

It would be great if you had swine flu.

I had swine back in the day.

You did?

Oh, yeah.

Is that just what they call in the Philly when you eat too much pork?

Swine 09.

All right.

Great show, everyone. We'll see everyone on wednesday let's do numbers uh 18 also tune into the writer cup yes you guys are all debuting in it yes yes first episode airing today yes everyone can stop yelling at me youtube yeah thanks for getting that up max yeah i had nothing to do do the editing of this.
If there's any mistakes, let us know. Or let Max know.
Numbers. Have you ever gotten this? 1.
3. Nope.
69. 57.
18. 18.
20. Shane, 10.
Would you guess 50? 1. Uno.
81. Ah.
Damn.

No one's really close.

No.

I always...

I didn't think about...

You could just be saying numbers.

Like, you could just be saying...

No, Hank's watching me.

Hank is watching me.

Hank is watching me.

I can see.

Love you guys.

88 is the largest number without an N in it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Yeah, because 100. Mm-hmm.
Whoa. Whoa.
Yeah, because 100.

Yeah.

Yeah.

88 is the largest number without an N in it.

Changes to 82.

What about infinity?

Oh, no, that's Simon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

What about Google?

A Google.

Googleplex?

A Google or a Googleplex.

Is that a real number?

Yeah.

I don't think that is.

No.

It's great.

Thank you. Google, a Google, Googleplex, a Google or a Googleplex.
Is that a real number? Yeah. Thank you.
See you in the light bulb. Display my memory.
You are the things I've got to remember.

You shine away.

You are becoming a baby.

You shine away.

You are becoming a baby.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.