Joakim Noah, NFL Week 2 Picks And Preview, Eagles Run It Down Vikings Throat + Fyre Fest Of The Year

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Okay, let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence.
And then a lot of work will be done. No place to hang out or wash in.
And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to electric avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue It's Pardon My Take presented. This is about martial sports.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Friday, September 15th.

And boys, I'd like to announce something.

The Minnesota Vikings are my pinky team.

Okay.

All right.

It's official.

It's official.

They are not winning.

I can't believe we got an early drop.

Nowhere close.

They're 0-2.

And I actually thought Kirk Cousins played okay tonight. When he had time to pass and when he didn't have time he stunk but when he had time i think all four of his touchdown passes were from like a relatively clean pocket yeah he was on his third left tackle no center uh eagles defensive line is really really fucking So Kirk Cousins does not get the blame for this.

The blame goes for the fact that the Minnesota Vikings couldn't stop anything in the run game.

So the Eagles had 259 yards rushing.

They doubled up time of possession.

It was 40 minutes to 20 minutes.

It was an ass kicking.

They could not stop anything.

They certainly couldn't stop the cheat play.

The Jalen Hurts get behind Jordan Miladis' huge ass and just drive forward two yards. I say cheat play.

I'm kind of just asterisk.

I'll get it. anything they certainly couldn't stop the cheat play the jalen hurts get behind jordan my lot is huge ass and just drive forward two yards i say cheap play i'm kind of asterisk i'll give the vikings an asterisk on this loss because they couldn't stop the cheap play that play is awesome 200 stop that 259 yards yeah is insane and the eagles have a running back and it was it was 5.4 yards per carry it was it really did feel like every time they wanted to run the ball there was that one drive where i think it was 10-7 or maybe it was actually did the vikings go up for no 7-3 and the eagles were like all right we're not fucking around anymore and they just ran the ball ran the ball ran the ball right down the field do you think that the eagles chose to start gainwell because his name's gainwell and that name for running back? That's a great name.
Forgetting that the guy they had behind him was named Swift, which is also a very good name for running back. The Eagles have the two best running back names at the running back.
And Boston Scott's a great name, too. It is, yeah.
Yeah, they have great names. Rashad Penny's a great name.
They've got all the names. They have all the names.
Yeah. But yeah, this was...
Listen, people know our piece with Kirk Cousins. This was not on him.
He had very little time, and he did everything he could to keep the Vikings in this game. He threw it to Justin Jefferson a lot.
Yeah, Justin Jefferson is incredible. You want to do the insult stat? I don't want to do the insult stat.
Do the insult stat. Do you want me to? Yeah, because people want to hear it.
All right, so Justin Jefferson. Fun stat about Justin Jefferson.
He now has more receiving yards than any Bears wide receiver ever. But the Bears haven't been playing football that recently, right? They're an expansion team.
Well, they haven't been doing the forward pass since Jay Cutler. Okay, so it's been, what, over 100 years of Bears football? Yeah, so it's an insult stat.
It hurts. But it also, like every Bears stat, when you do wide receivers or quarterbacks, will always hurt.
It then did have us go down a Johnny Knox rabbit hole, which is nice because I love Johnny Knox. It sucked that his career ended that way.
But, yeah, Justin Jefferson is incredible. Johnny Knox from? From? The from from the you from damn you I think Vanderbilt I think it's I think Earl Bennett was Vanderbilt as well I think maybe I'm making that up it might you might be thinking of Earl Bennett and uh Jay Cutler that's embarrassing if I do a from and it's not right I I think you might be right though I think you might be right Abene Christian.
You were thinking of Earl Bennett and Jay Cutler. Yeah, to be fair, I was.
Yeah, you were thinking of that. I'm swearing off Frums for the next three weeks.
Because I was like, wait, do I know this? I was like, wait, I don't know this. It sounded like it was a, I don't know, a question where you knew he could have gotten into Vanderbilt.
It was, I know exactly where your brain was. or bennett but yeah the justin jefferson is out of this world good like some of the the catches he was making the like the run after the catches he was making he is so fucking good and now though we have to ask ourselves is he gonna get to a point where he's like i like to win because i'm one of the best or if not the best wide receivers in the game.
I thought what we saw tonight, Big Cat, was perhaps the emergence of two diva wide receivers. Yeah.
Maybe Jefferson, maybe Brown. A.J.
Brown, I would say, yeah. But it seems like maybe A.J.
Brown's divaness is coming out because he realizes he's not him on the Eagles. Devontae Smith is.
Devontae Smith, despite the fact that he's got skinny legs. Also, great moment while we're watching the game.
I think you mentioned you're like, did you see A.J. Brown going up to Jalen Hurts, Diva Watch, and Max goes, yeah, but then Jalen Hurts threw him the ball four times straight.
So you placated him. Yeah, it's like that's exactly what a Diva is.
You force the ball to him. And to be fair, we want Diva Wide Receivers.
We missiva wide receivers. It's good.
Justin Jefferson kind of has a case. He's the best receiver in football right now.
It would be nice if he won some games. It would suck to be that much better than everyone else and be like, why are we 0-2? Yeah, and after the Kirk Cousins experience in Minnesota, who knows who he's going to get to play with next.
Again, not Kirk's Kirk's fault tonight. Not his fault.
We don't. We're not going to fall.
People will think that we'll just be like, oh, primetime Kirk. Not his fault.
No, this was not primetime Kirk. The fumble did have the fumble.
The fumble was bad. But then he had no time.
Like Kirk, we've said this many times, but Kirk, when his offensive line sucks and he's on the road and the defensive line is down his throat, he looks like he's like five feet tall. Yeah, so I actually pulled up a stat.
This is next-gen stats. That's how deep we're getting into technology here.
Kirk Cousins threw four touchdown passes in rhythm, which is between two and a half and four seconds against the Eagles, tied for the most such TDs in a game in the next-gen stats era. I would imagine there's a few players that have four touchdowns, but that's the most.
Yes, yes. I mean, yeah, he was not bad tonight.
And since, oh, this is fun. Since 2016, he's thrown 114 touchdown passes in rhythm, 15 more than any other player.
Kirk Cousins, avid subscriber to the rhythm method. Yes, yes.
Yeah. He is all in on it.
If if he's got good protection it'd probably help out a little bit max you are the star of the show today yeah so we haven't even gotten to that point but we can do a preview yeah so we people will have to trust us because we did tweet it out uh max later on in the show we little peel behind the curtain how we do our third our our Friday shows is Thursday afternoon, we do the majority of the show. We do all the weekend preview.
We do the Fyre Fest. If we have an interview, we'll do that.
So that way, after the game, all we have to do is 15 minutes to start the show. During that, you'll hear it when we get to it, but Max nailed the score.
And when I say nailed the score, he got it exactly correct. Yeah, that was cool.
That cool that was a cool moment and i saw it coming i think like midway through the third quarter i'm like uh there's a path here that i could nail this prediction exactly correct and it was weird because i like wanted i didn't want the vikings to score but i was like it would be cool to have that in my have that clip of me just banging that score you like. You were like, yo, the 34-28 is alive right now.
It's actually really alive. Saw it coming.
So what do you think? The Eagles defense, secondary, got work to do. Yeah.
There's a lack of communication in the secondary right now. There has been the hardest sense of words to say.
You sound like a play-by-play guy or the color commentator there's a lack of communication these guys are snot around they're not on the same page yeah no the past two weeks I was watching an ex video this week from Baldy and he was talking about how last week there was just a bunch of blunders in the secondary and guys were just wide open for absolutely no reason. And again, it happened the exact same thing tonight.
But the D-line can help with a lot of those mistakes because every guy in that front seven is just so good. As long as the turf is good.
As long as the turf is good, correct. I think you guys are down your top three corners now.
Slay's healthy. Slay's healthy.
We had to score a Gami injury. Yeah, but you're down.
Yeah, we had a name, an injury Gami today. We had two Bradburys out on opposite sides of the ball in the same game.
I'm going to venture to say that's never happened in the history of the NFL, but you guys have, I think, three cornerbacks are injured now, so that's going to be tough for you. You still got Slay.
Big play Slay. I think it's one corner, maybe two safeties, one linebacker.
Max, I have another question. Play calling.
Got better. It started off poor, but then once we realized that we could run the ball every single time.
Yes, I'd agree with that. We just did the run the ball play.
It felt like they were trying to get Jalen Hurts some running plays,

but they all felt kind of half-assed.

Yeah, but you figured it out.

I mean, it's a new offensive coordinator.

It's early in the season.

You don't want to be playing your best ball right now.

That's what I keep saying.

You don't want to be playing your best ball.

2-0 is 2-0.

2-0 is 2-0, and you'll get better throughout the season.

New coaches got to get a feel for the guys.

We'll be fine. Yeah.
Hank, thoughts on the game? Hawkinson. Hawkinson.
He did it for you. Two touchdowns, seven receptions.
Great game. That was a great recap.
So, Max, you're out two cornerbacks now and a starting safety. Yeah.
Okay. Yes.
You had James Bradbury, Reed Blankenship, and then you had another injury tonight. Okay.
2-0 is 2-0. 2-0 is 2-0.
But the good news is the front seven is good enough. They're going to be able to get pressure on anybody.
Whenever Jalen Carter's on the field, which isn't every drive which makes me upset, I just watch. He's the only thing I watch.
So you actually are a little like it's getting a little homoerotic.

Yeah.

No, it's great.

I showed you that that one play during the game is awesome.

Also, we should say Max for people who are listening right now and they're like, hey,

is this guy sick for like the seventh straight week?

He is.

He's going to see a doctor, though.

Yeah.

Any Chicago doctors out there? Please help Max. Real doctors.
Real doctors. doctors or a vet we could send you to a vet i feel i feel like i feel like i'm your parent because i've been telling you go to the doctor for the last two weeks yeah no it's not that bad it's just this i've had a cough for six weeks now and it just doesn't go away and he keeps saying long covid and he already took already took antibiotics, and that did nothing.
Yeah, so I went to the doctor.

I took steroids, and then I went back to the doctor, and then they gave me antibiotics.

And it helped us.

My throat is fine.

I just still have this call.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm talking to a doctor right now.

Yeah.

No, there'll be a doctor that'll hit us up.

It's like you're treating us like a therapist doctor.

Like, I've talked about my feelings.

I feel sick.

Yeah, I'm just venting.

How many drinks a week do you have? That's subjective. It's all right.
Everyone lies to their doctor. The one person in the world you shouldn't lie to.
Really the dumbest brain thing that men do. We're like, hey, this guy's here to help you.
And then you lie to him. The doctors know that though.
They know to multiply your drinks by five. But it's just such a funny concept where it's like, yeah, I'm going to lie to my doctor.
Yeah. The one guy that you don't want to lie to.
Have you ever been to a doctor where they don't put you on the scale, but they ask you what your weight is? Yeah. Never give them the right weight.
No. 6'3", 215.
No. You're like, what's bothering you? Nothing.
I feel great. Like, you know, this is the one time you should actually bitch.
All right. But, yeah, Eagles 2-0, Vikings 0-2, Vikings pinky team.
I might add another pinky team. We'll see how it goes.
But they're not winning the Super Bowl. No chance.
No, there's no chance. Although I've got a future on the Vikings at plus 4,000.
Okay. That's dead.
Yeah. I might as well just light that on fire.
No, they're not. They've got too many defensive issues.
The defense stinks. Yeah.
And their offense, I mean, Justin Jefferson just, he's so fucking good. I thought their defense couldn't be any worse than last year.
It might be. Well, granted, they did play the Eagles tonight.
That might mean that the Patriots are really good, Hank. It's just really tough when you get undressed in that manner in a pro football game where it's like, we're going to do this one thing and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Absolutely nothing. I do love the cheat play.
It might be cheating, but I love it. No, it's a great play.
It's the best play in sports. I can't believe Jerry Jones didn't ban that this offseason.
I thought for sure he would. He really wanted to.
Put a pin in that. He'll do it next offseason.
Or AI Jerry Jones will do it yes yes um okay let's kick it to ourselves weekend preview and you get to hear max tradamus and then we have joe kim no after that there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is chosen, every recipe made with a purpose. Their oven gold turkey, smoked master ham, and ever roast chicken are made from premium whole cuts, hand trimmed, and perfectly seasoned.
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Week two, boys.

I almost said week three.

Week two, because week three college football.

Week two, we're ready to find some things out.

Just a general week two note I wanted to throw out there.

Teams that lost by double digits are 39 22 and one in week two yeah this is the classic don't overreact but we're going to overreact anyways so that's the panthers the bengals the steelers the seahawks the bears and the giants are all teams that fall under that category where they lost badly and now you got to say to yourself huh who, huh, who do I like this week? Is that real? Yeah, I made a little note today, and it was before I hadn't heard about that stat in particular, but it's the same mindset. If a team gets their ass kicked, if they were a favorite that gets their ass kicked in week one and then they're underdogs in week two, that's going to be a system play for me this year.
Yeah, I like it. I like it.
So we're going to do it how we did it last week we're going to do with the tv games starting with i think the best game of the week it is chiefs at jags what do you got oh well we'll do that when we do the yeah chiefs at jags i think that is sound i'll give up bear sound i don't give a fuck yeah this seems like i don't to hear the Bears. I was looking through this late and it's like if we weren't Bears and commanders fans, those are probably the games that aren't going to be on TV this weekend.
Yeah, probably Broncos commanders Tampa Bay Broncos commanders is late slate. So we'll have enough TVs.
It would have it would have been on the cut line. Bears would have been on the cut line.
I think, officially because there is a couple not great games. But Jags, Chiefs will be center TV, sound.
I'm so excited for this game. So there's a couple thoughts I want to throw out there.
One is Andy Reid, longer rest, which we all know. Hibernation.
Hibernation. He had a long rest before the Lions game, though.
Yeah, he did he had a very long rest but andy reed off of a bye mini bye uh because they played on thursday uh last 20 years on eight or more days he's 45 35 and one against the spread and 56 and 25 straight up yeah pretty good and he's getting chris jones back which is probably the biggest thing considering that i think the jaguars have two offensive linemen that are down one of them being Brandon Scherf yes one of two uh all pro players from the Washington franchise in the last like 40 years Cam Robinson suspended for four games Cam Robinson out uh Chris Jones who won the contract negotiation because I would say not Chris Jones uh he basically said okay we'll take you back and we'll give you some, maybe a potential more money and incentives. If you have like 15 sacks this year, they also, I saw someone posted on Twitter that someone on chiefs, Reddit did a deep dive into Chris Jones's agents.
And basically they don't have any players except Chris Jones. So they get all their time.
So they were like trying really hard to get Chris Jones more money. But yeah, I'd say Chris Jones probably didn't win that, but I'm happy he's back.
He's fun to watch play football. Is Kelsey playing? I don't know.
Because it seemed like he was going to try to play last week. So you would assume if he tried to play last week and it was coming down to the wire that he would play this week.
Last week felt like a don't hold me back, bro. It was put out the report I fought to try to play like a lot of uh a lot of emotion going into week one yeah there was a report that own bruise that taylor swift is trying to tank the chief season to make her eagles win that came courtesy tiktok some lady on tiktok said that's that's a good report i believe it also mahomes is an underdog or favorite of three or less 19 six to six and one so i think it's three and a half now so I guess that's outside of that but uh I so I think that the Chiefs will have a very good game I think they'll win this game the only thing that's popping in my head and this is after doing a million shows all week I was thinking about what what year was it it must have been 2019 when the Jaguars lost to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game

in, I think week two the Jaguars kicked the shit out of the Patriots in Jacksonville and won their Super Bowl week two that makes me a little nervous the Jaguars are like oh this is our Super Bowl Miles Jack wasn't down yeah people forget Jack out of the league the Jaguars should have won that game the Jaguars should have been in the Super Bowl Blake Bortles should have been in the Super Bowl. First Nick wasn't down.
Yeah. People forget.
Miles Jack out of the league. The Jaguars should have won that game.
The Jaguars should have been in the Super Bowl. Blake Bortles should have been in the Super Bowl.
Versus Nick Foles. Against Nick Foles.
Yes. And tell me that Blake Bortles doesn't win that.
Can you imagine if Jacksonville had a Super Bowl parade and Blake Bortles was up front driving a Silverado, just cranking tunes and just chugging bush lights? Yeah. It would have been the best Super Bowl parade parade.
That was an insult graphic that went around. Remember it? It was Bortles, Foles, Kirk Cousins, Tom Brady.
Case Keenum. Or Case Keenum.
Right. Thank you, Hank.
Case Keenum and Tom Brady. It was like Tom Brady didn't win this Super Bowl.
Yeah. Out of these four quarterbacks.
I mean, fucking Bortles, man. He should have been Super Bowl MVP.
So in this game, if the Jaguars beat the Chiefs in a shootout, will there be somebody that says a major passing of the torch moment from Mahomes to Trevor Lawrence? For sure. I've got my eye on a passing of the torch this weekend.
I might be jagging off. Yeah, this game makes me nervous because I probably will most likely bet the Chiefs, and I am a little nervous about the fact that the jags like this is this will be kind of everything and then it will be fade hard the jags jags next week yeah so the good news if you're a jaguars fan all right i guess if you're a chiefs fan great news going into this week is that cadarius tony can't possibly play worse right oh yeah no he can't there's no chance but i saw a stat that was like every time they attempted to pass Kadarius Tony the ball, the scoring differential was like .9 points minus.
So they like lost a point every time they attempted to pass. They would have won the game without him on the field.
Yeah. So I think, yeah, he could play worse.
Why not? You think so? I think he's the only guy up for the challenge. He is.
If anyone can it's tony i believe in him yes yes um okay so i'm excited for this game that's all i wanted to say me too i'm very excited nerd nugget so nugget real quick before jake does his nerd nugget um something to keep your eye on just an overall trend this year it's from last year it looks like it's carrying over uh last year there were 3416 attempts of at least 15 yards downfield, right? So about 3,500 passes attempted that travel 15 yards downfield. That's the fewest in any season since 2006.
And this year, so far, we're even behind that. It's only one week, but we're even behind last year, which was that might is the nfl taking out taking passing out of the game of football that might also the the bears definitely skew those numbers well the bears also check down patty check down well he's becoming a running back now yeah we'll see if patrick mahomes can learn to pass the ball like pocket thrower trevor lawrence they might have a shot yes uh i am worried about the jags offensive line though uh i think it's gonna be Chris Jones he's got something to prove he's got incentives to make and he's yeah he's got incentives he has to make these incentives to get his money and he's off a mega buy yeah huge huge buy uh all right next up another tv game nerd nugget yeah nerd nugget sorry uh Jaguars head coach Doug Peterson returns to face Kansas City where he served as Chiefs OC from 2013 to 15.
He also was on the coaching staff with Andy Reid in Philadelphia from 2009 to 2012. Didn't you have a Doug Peterson nerd nugget last week? Is it just Doug Peterson's been on a lot of teams? Should we just make that the nerd nugget for the Jaguars? Was that not? Am I confusing? I'm not saying you did a bad job.
It might have been. I think it was Doug Peterson started his his career jaguars colts was the colts uh new week one quarterback oh okay all right good well with doug peterson it's like you've got the best former philadelphia eagles coach in the nfl and also andy reed playing where do you where do you how do you rank those max as a philly guy it's got to be dougie p dougie p andy r what that look? Yeah, it's got to be Dougie P, dude.
Andy was there for so long, though. But a flag flies forever, dude.
He meant so much. All those NFC championship losses that you have.
Dougie P has a statue. Philly Philly.
Alright, Nick Sirianni or Dougie P. Dougie P.
Okay. Nick Sirianni lost to Super Bowl, too.
Yeah. Oh, Tank got you.
Good on that one. Damn.
You're not remembering all those NFC Championship game losses, Hank. Hank, I'm proud of you.
That was fucking— I mean, yeah. Tank got you bad.
No, it's— Dick Vermeer or Dougie P. But Andy Reid had the Eagles in contention every single year.
Right, but did they win anything? This is an insane question. I know.
It's Dougie P. Andy Reid's got a fistful of rings from the years that he had them in contention That's Nick Foles easy I don't know why It's the exact same question It's the exact same question Okay, that's fair He's got you twice now I think I just like Andy Reid as a guy more than I like Donovan McNabb as a guy.
Andy Reid's more of like a Philly guy. What's the difference between the two, Max? McNabb was kind of a jerk on his way out.
They're both kind of chunky? No, I mean. One guy is the kind of guy that you'd want to date your daughter.
Yeah, right. The other guy, he comes home and you're like, hey, what's going on here? No, McNabb said some shit after he left.
Yeah. Well, you guys said some shit to McNabb.
Yeah, while he was puking into the huddle. Max, Andy Reid beat you.
He got concussed. Andy Reid beat you in a Super Bowl.
That's also true. That's 3-0 this side of the room.
Okay. Unreal.
Dougie P. Okay, next game on TV, Ravens-Bengals.
Yes. Very excited for this one.
Will Joe Burrow bounce back? I say yes. New haircut, Big Cat.
New haircut. Can't play.
He is, unlike Canary Stoney, who I think can play worse, Joe Burrow cannot play worse. I think that was the lowest.
I think you'll look at Joe Burrow in 15 years, Hall of Fame career, he'll be like, remember that game? That was the worst game I ever played. Did he play worse in this game

or against the Steelers in week one last year?

No.

I feel like TJ Watt played really good in that game.

They scored in that game, though.

They didn't score against the Browns.

He was pretty bad.

If you own any of the Bengals players on offense

in fantasy football, you're like,

what the fuck happened last week?

What just happened?

So I'm excited for this game because AFC North, baby.

AFC North. These teams don't like each other, Big Cat.
They don't like each other i do ravens already very very injured yeah oh right right out of the gate john harbaugh sneaky great as a underdog too he's in that camp of like coaches that somehow find an extra little something for underdogville i love zay flowers zay flowers gonna be i've been watching a lot ofay Flowers in week one. That dude is going to be a problem.
That's the only reason why I'm kind of leaning the Ravens is because, you know, when you have these AFC North battles, they know each other so well. Ravens are running a new offense.
They ran a lot more wide receivers out there. And Mark Andrews might be back.
Yeah, but they've got some linemen down. They've got everything down.
The Ravens are the Ravens. Defensive line on the Bengals is going to eat this week.
They're always injured. Okay, next up, Seahawks at Lions.
I was looking back through history. I think this might be the most hyped Lions crowd ever because last time, I think they're 17-1 to win the Super Bowl right now,

and they're 1-0.

1993, they were 15-1, and they were 1-0.

It's like I went through every year the Lions Super Bowl odds.

They were always like 40-1, some 100-1s.

The fact that the Lions won on Thursday night,

they have a team that is considered a Super Bowl contending team,

and it's a home game, it's going to be fucking awesome. It's going to be fucking awesome it's going to be awesome it's going to be so loud and so much fun and I'm excited to watch this Lions game also our friend Jared Goff little little fun betting nugget 10 and 1 against the spread weeks 1 and 2 in his career that's pretty cool that's pretty good he loves the good weather he loves it he loves early season all right so here's a bunch of reasons why i think the seahawks might suck yeah okay they were three and five to close out the season last year correct two of those wins came against john walford remember him yep john walford on the rams and uh the other was zach wilson yep and then there was uh baker mayfield i think and i think he started that last game for the rams but the two those three wins came against bottom-tier quarterbacks.
And they needed that last win to get in. They needed the last win.
They were playing for a lot. They started out the season hot, beat some good teams, beat a couple teams that they really should have beaten.
And also now I think they might be down their two starting tackles. Yeah.
So Aiden Hutchinson, he plays like a tornado. Very attractive family.
attractive family very attractive family very very attractive family um he's probably gonna have a pretty good day for the Lions so everything is telling me the Seahawks might actually suck but it's that stat that we talked about earlier where a team gets their ass kicked all the expectations of the world are now on the Lions their favorites favorites as they should be they seem like they're going to be a pretty good team. Add that into the fact that Pete Carroll is 20-11 against the spread after he loses as a favorite.
So just something to – everything about this game screams bet on the Lions. But because it's telling me that and I'm smart enough now to know that I'm an idiot.
If I trust myself, I think I'm going to fade myself.

Can I give you a counterpoint?

Yeah.

These lines are different.

Fuck.

That's all I keep saying to myself.

They might be different.

They might be lying.

We're talking about those lines.

No, we're not talking about the same old lines.

We're talking about these lines.

These lines are way better than those lines.

I think what I might do is just hold my nose, take the Seahawks,

and then just write it off to being smart when that bet loses. Yes.
It's a loss. I can live with that loss.
Yes. Go ahead, Jake.
Nerd Nugget. No two teams in NFL history have ever combined for at least 80 points in three consecutive meetings.
These two teams can do that. Last year, 48-45, 2021, 51-29.
You got to take the over. You got to take the over.
51-29. And 48-45 last year.
You got to take the over. You have to.
It's history. I want to be a part of history.
Yeah, you got to be a part of history. Three straight games combining for 80.
There's a couple teams that are playing week two that I would actually say have must-wins and can't loses. And the first one is Raiders at bills the bills must win it does feel monday night football was a disaster it feels like the bills have to win this game and they have to win it convincingly to get their swagger back a little bit yeah the stefan digs story with the reporter who uh accidentally on a live mic said he's terrible to deal with and will say fuck you to your face, and then had to walk it back and be like, just kidding, I didn't actually mean that.
Yeah, you did. You said it on a live mic.
You meant what you were saying. Just weird vibes.
Is it not true that he'll say fuck you to your face, though? That's actually a good thing. It is a good thing.
He's a dog. Yeah, well, also, you'd rather that than have him be passive aggressive to your face.
He's a dog. Put a his chest max it does feel like it's kind of i don't want to sound the alarm so bad but the bills just they need to win they need to win this game and they need to do it well and they need to win by a lot and everyone will be like chill out the bills are still awesome yeah so um just a little little counterpoint to maybe why the bills should knock the shit out of the raiders the The Raiders are pulling the old football guy move of staying at the Greenbrier this week.
Yeah, they've been on the East Coast. Yeah, kind of.
It doesn't really make a lot of sense. No.
You usually do that when you've got two East Coast games back-to-back. Yeah, they played in Denver.
And they played in Denver last week. And then Josh McDaniels is like, well, you know what? Bill Parcells would have these guys stay at the Greenbrier, so I'm going to make them stay at the Greenbrier.
The Greenbrier, there's something going on there. Why do so many teams just hang out in the hills of West Virginia for a week in between games? That's actually the place where the shadow government was going to be in the event of a nuclear war against the United States.
So that's probably what's happening. The Greenbrier estate was going to be a place where the government would all fly out to and plot their next move.
I also think, now that you just gave us that fact, someone do some investigative journalism, but there's probably a 99% chance that Mark Davis just rented out the Raiders facility for like a birthday party. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like that's why they had to say it's not, they didn't, they weren't like, let's get a competitive advantage, staying closer to the time zone. They're like, no, we can't use it because there's a bar mitzvah at the raiders facility it might also just to be we gotta get some cash they might have done to get away from mark davis for a week it's that would be so funny but i just there's a bounce house in the raiders facility right now yeah mark davis charged someone like a hundred thousand dollars like hey look that's a that's a practice squad player we gotta pay our guys To me, it seems like it's a try-hard move on McDaniel's part.
You can't break the green bar of glass for no reason. You have to do that when it makes sense.
Right, right. Okay, Nerd Nugget.
Similar to last game, when the Raiders and Bills get together, a lot of points are typically scored. In their last five meetings, they've averaged a total of 57.2 points per game okay so another over okay i do think that josh allen just goes nuts this week he has to he will i think he will as well he looks so depressed after the game when he was saying that like yeah it feels like it felt last year and i hate that i feel that way he just looks super super down this is again right i want to be happy i want josh to be happy.
This is a must win get right. Yep.
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Okay, next one. I want to say right now I was a week early.
I was premature. The Bears going to Tampa Bay is the biggest game in Bears franchise history.
I'll just say that right now. I was a week early on my prediction of biggest game in Bears franchise history.
This is a must win. I've watched some of the tape.
It's bad. It wasn't just Luke Getzey.
Justin Fields played bad. Chase Claypool was awesome.
Chase Claypool is a bum. Get him out of here.
I don't even think he's going to play, which would be good. They should honestly cut him.
Yeah, they should. They should.
But I think that it's one of those situations you can't do it right now. You got to.
Yeah. A first round pick.
It was a second round pick. Second round pick you gave up for him.
Yeah. That sucks.
30 second overall. Okay, Max.
Thanks. So that is a first round pick.
Yeah. Thank you, Max.
Thanks, Max. But I know that sucks to be like, well, we made a mistake.
Don't shake your head. Don't shake your fucking head.
I said oof. It sucks.
You ask me, what is it? Don't shake your fucking head. It sucks to admit that you made a mistake so quickly and you gave up a lot to get just an absolute loser.
Yeah, but we have two first round picks, which also sucks. But you got a loser.
He's a loser, Biggie. Oh, he's a bum.
You can't win with him. He's a bum.
Two things happened way too early that make me very nervous.

One, every year, if you know the Bears franchise, Virginia McCaskey is like 150 years old. She's a woman from the Titanic.
Wonderful lady. Has owned the Bears forever.
And her sons are running the Bears. George McCaskey runs the Bears.
At least one point in every single bear season we get a report that either virginia or george are not happy with what the direction of the bears we got that in week one so we already have the report and nothing happens from it it stays the same the bears just continue to suck but they let it be known that they're not happy that they oh my god how'd this happen we

suck again do they ever get concerned is there ever a report that they're concerned with the

direction of the franchise there was one i think maybe the end of the trestling years where where

well there was one time where george mccaskey got pushed uh at the stadium that was funny uh

virginia mccaskey i think like was like uh went and went to a game and was like very just you know

upset at the at the loss or something these are the reports that we get nothing changes again

But it has every year. It's happened way too early.
The other thing that's happened way too early... Sounds like she just needs to get laid.
Maybe. I'll dick her down.
Just do it. Just fucking bend her over.
Doggy, baby. Your name's not Virgin McCaskey.
It's you, Sister Jean in Virginia.

That's a hell of a three-way.

That would maybe be the oldest three-way ever.

Yeah.

I mean, they'll both be in Chicago.

I'm only 27, though.

That's okay.

The other thing that's happened way too early. Do you think they've ever met?

Yeah, definitely.

They might be the same person.

I don't think I've ever seen them in the same room.

Let's look into that.

Yeah.

The other thing that's happened way too early that makes me very nervous is that i've already started telling myself two first round picks yeah that's bad that's so that's really bad and the bears they need to win this game so so badly because they play the chiefs in kansas city next week oh and three disaster start i'm having a crisis of confidence all right but counterpoint big cat And 0 three would look very bad on the record it looks bad you don't nobody out there is going to have chicago bears oh and three in their twitter handle right that's not you're not going to brag about maybe i have to do that now but what if you guys go down to tampa bay the offense looks great you guys score 35 points they need to the bucks score 37 points you would be happy with that if the offense looks good yeah if Justin Fields look good I would I could I could spin my spin zone myself if it looks like it looked on Sunday though it's disaster everything I thought is gone everything I believed just again crisis of confidence going on in my brain right now you're it been a torturous week having to deal with this. It's not necessarily a must-win.
It's a must-offense. No, it's a must-not-look-like-you-did-against-the-Packers.
Just do... Max, was that you? Yeah, I'm sorry.
That was a hiccup. You just can't look that bad.
You must-score. It's a game.
Must look competent. Yeah.
That's where the bar is because there was no competence on Sunday, and so you just need competence. I also am starting to – another bad thought in my head.
I feel like DJ Moore is probably already like, what the fuck? I want out. Yeah, well, it would be nice if you threw the ball to him more than twice.
Yeah bet it's bad and the tape is worse i saw all baldy's breakdowns it's bad yeah it basically just relived all week because i i had a flashback this week where it was like remember the the classic mitch trubisky screenshot with the packers game it was that all over again people just just throwing it up they're like dude i saw the game. Can we bury the tape? No, we got to watch the tape over and over and over.
So they have to look good. I think you'll get the best effort.
I also am starting to think that Ibraflus isn't the guy. Like, again, these are all the thoughts that are going through my head.
It's a crisis of confidence. Winning cures all.
I speak on behalf of America and probably all Bears fans when I say let Justin Fields run the ball. Let him run the ball.
Let him do everything. Put in some design runs for him.
Let him stretch the defense out. Let the defense get uncomfortable.
Try to figure out where he's going to go. And then the passing game opens up.
When you do that, when Justin Fields is breaking off 60-yard runs, then the rest of the offense looks awesome. And on top of that, Justin, if you're listening, I still have confidence in you, but don't be afraid to let it fly, baby.
Like that Josh Allen arm punt where he threw a 60-yard interception, I'd suck a dick for one of those, okay? It was a great interception. Like you throw an interception 60 yards down the field, I can't be upset.
Let's keep a running stat for interception of the year. That one's up there.
Because I think that Josh Allen pick was the best interception I've seen. Yes.
Yes. That was great.
Okay. Next game, Packers-Falcons.
I love the Falcons. I got a stat for you.
I love the Falcons. Desmond Ritter has never lost a home game in college or NFL.
That's a pretty good stat. That's a pretty good stat.
And where are they playing this weekend? They're playing in Atlanta. I love the Falcons offense.

And if you only pay.

Love is a strong word. Well, no, here's why.

Because if you only pay attention to fantasy football, you're like,

the Falcons offense sucks.

Because your guy, Drake London, isn't getting any catches.

Because Kyle Pitts doesn't get the ball downfield.

But guess what?

They're playing mustache football.

Yeah.

Arthur Smith has a mustache.

They're going to run the damn ball.

Did you watch the clip, though?

Someone made a cut up of Kyle Pitts. And he was just open on everything i know i know every he was there was one play where he juked the cornerback so bad that he broke his ankles and desmond ritter didn't throw him the ball but kyle pitts still had to celebrate because he's like that move was incredible like he clapped in his face like i got you i didn't get the ball but i I got you.
That's a good rep, Big Cat. He had a lot of good reps.
He had a great rep. Obviously, it would be nice to hit him downfield every now and again, but I still love the fact that Arthur Smith sometimes will just be like, ah, fuck it.
I feel like just running the ball. Yeah, no.
Let's just run it. I agree with you.
Also, I had another insult stat. You know how there was always a stat like if you played Bama the next week, you would lose because Bama would just beat the shit out of you.
Turns out it's actually the reverse with the Bears. Oh, because I had to note that the Bears might have softened up the Packers.
Over the last 20 years, teams that have played at Soldier Field the following week are 95-58-2 against the spread. Okay, that's not good.
But 31- two against the spread okay that's not good but

but 31 and 16 against the spread since 2017 so they basically get all their good reps against the bears are like we could do this aaron jones might have gotten himself hurt though that's maybe that's the one good thing about your defense like players will run so fast directly through your defense that they pull a hamstring yeah and they can't play next week yeah so. Yeah, so that one hurt.
All right, two more for the noon games. Chargers to Titans.
Tannehill. So in his press conference, he said, guys, I just want to move on to San Diego.
I'm not going to answer any more questions about what happened Sunday. I'm not happy about it.
No one in the building's happy about it. But at the end of the day, it's over.
San Diego? Yeah. He said move on to San Diego.
San Diego. it no one in the building's happy about it but at the end of the day it's over san diego yeah he said he said move on to san diego and they put in the in the in the parentheses los angeles chargers yeah so he said san diego but it also makes me think um it's actually not over ryan tannahill i think you still suck well no we again we're waiting for the facts to come out we don't have enough body of evidence yet on Tannehill.
And clearly he's still figuring out this league if he doesn't know that they play in Los Angeles. Correct.
So let's wait until we make judgment about Ryan Tannehill. I think this is the year that he takes that next step, big guy.
This is like Urban Meyer finding out about Aaron Donald. No one tell Ryan Tannehill they aren't in San Diego anymore.
Yeah, I got a couple questions for you. Do you remember Khalil Mack? Yeah.
He was awesome. Yeah.
2018.

Fucking ruled.

Do you remember Joey Bosa?

Yeah.

It'd probably be nice if maybe a defense had those two guys and maybe they could get some pressure on the quarterback.

Joey Bosa, I would put more like, hey, what's up, dude?

And that was a shootout that got away from them with the Dolphins.

Khalil Mack, he's old now.

He is old.

He's getting old.

But still, he's still pretty good.

And when you have Joey Bosa on the other side,

and they're passing the ball so much, they did a pretty good job of stopping the run. Pin your ears back.
That's my coaching tip to the Super Chargers of San Diego is pin your ears back this week. Yeah, this kind of feels like, I don't want to say a must win for the Chargers, but they kind of got to win because there's a lot.
This season is supposed to be a big one for them it should be uh in the in the titans game last week there was a great video that came out if you haven't seen it go watch the saints it was inside the nfl derrick carr on the sidelines against the titans to win the game and he goes over the sidelines he's like hey just run a go route run a go route and then the camera cuts over to jameis winston next to him who hears the words go route and he goes yes and then they call the go route car throws it downfield jameis when he heard the words go route it was like it was the pavlovian dog that like drools when he hears the bell when jameis hears you say go route yes yes absolutely i was about to say that his eyes his eyes get so wide i love it i there's just something about jamie's that god damn i love that i know we'll get to the dolphins game but um i've been i've been watching some some film twitter uh as you can tell the mike mcdaniel adjustment that they made against the chargers so basically when they played the chargers last year they were running tyree kill in motion and the Chargers were able to figure out where he's going because he's coming in motion. And they basically decided this year to run Tyreek Hill in motion without running him in motion because he's so fucking fast.
So they would snap the ball, and he would run sideways and then come looping around, and no one could guard him. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen.
He so fucking fast he could do motion without motion is motion should motion be illegal i like motion feels like it's a running start i like motion because uh if you root for bad football a bad football team it feels like you're at least trying something it's like pussy football line up line up like men you know the play's not gonna work but at least she looks like it's like busy work yeah it's it's like hey i'm doing something over here yeah um you've been watching a lot of twitter film yeah i've been watching a lot of film yeah i like i do most of my film watching also on twitter i guess it's x videos if you're watching it x videos i watch a lot of x videos during the week to study uh nerd nugget los angeles has absolutely dominated the series as of late winning 11 of the past 13 also four of the last five matchups in the series decided by one score. Yeah, I was going to say, because I remember the Titans were pretty big underdogs last year, and then they almost won that game.
I think they lost like 17-14 or something. So I just, I feel like the Titans, if you can get even a C-minus game from Tannehill, they just do it to everyone.
They make everyone play at their level. They make everyone play in a fist fight.
I think C plus. You get a C plus game from Tannehill.
One touchdown, two interceptions. Last game, Colts-Texans.
Okay. Yeah.
I actually like Houston in this game. Yeah, why not? It's been a rough week for the Stroud boys out there, for sure.
But he was the first rookie quarterback in NFL history to make a week one start, over 45 dropbacks, zero interceptions. Wow.
So we can build it off that. Good for him.
I don't know. Is Anthony Richardson concussed? Well, he hurt his knee.
And his head? I don't know if it was his head. He also took a pretty bad shot to the head.
Yeah yeah i this game yeah i guess we'll find out if who's not bad yeah so who's not bad bull yeah i like the texans as well all right yeah i like domico domico seems like i like domico a lot the defense is playing hard will anderson is a beast i like domico i'm yeah texans te Texans. Texans.
Okay. Nerd Nugget.

I have a good one for this game.

It's only the second game in NFL history featuring two starting quarterbacks

under the age of 22.

They're both 21.

The only other was Jameis Winston versus Marcus Mariota week one 2015.

And who won that game?

I think.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm asking you.

The winner of that game.

So the winner of this game will go on to have an illustrious career

as a starting quarterback.

This is big.

This is huge.

Titans 34, Saints 20.

No, wrong game.

Okay.

This is awful.

Oh, no.

Jake.

How did you not think that was going to be a follow-up?

I think the Titans won.

I'm looking at the Saints, you idiot.

You idiot, Jake. Oh, no, you idiot.
You moron. You fucking idiot.
Come on, Jake. He's starting to blush.
42-14 Titans. Okay, 42-14 Titans.
So that projects to the Texans. 42-14 Titans.
Yeah. Although, CJ Stroud, I don't know which one.
Is he Jameis or Marcus Mariota? I don't think anyone's Jameis. Yeah, no one is Jameis.
He's truly one of one. It was 21-0 Titans after the first quarter.
Oh, wow. Okay.
All right. Afternoon slate.
49ers-Rams. So, Big Cat, you talked about the Alabama thing and the contrary stat with with the Bears let's not forget the stat with the 49ers last year yes teams the very the very next week so I'm not counting a bye week because the Chiefs were the anomaly in this but the very next week after playing the 49ers last year teams were 0 and 15 straight up they beat the fuck out of you so that will be for the Steelers Monday night yeah but uh yeah this is I'm just going old reliable and I fucked this up last week because we have to remember our NFC West circle of death yep McVay beats Carroll and Shanahan beats McVay yes and that happens every time I know the NFC championship game I know that was a big game for McVay but he's one in versus shanahan so the one being the nfc championship game the most important one uh since 2019 so just go with all the real and then everybody beats the cardinals and everyone beats the card yeah so yeah i'm with you on this one 49ers i feel like they're they might be the best team in the league through week one they'd win the super bowl yeah they did win the super bowl if it was last week yes yes um Okay the Super Bowl.
They did. If it was last week.
Yes, yes.

Okay.

Pittsburgh only rushed the ball 10 times against them last week.

That's crazy.

Steelers might not be bad.

They just played a really good team.

Yeah, we'll see.

We're waiting for all the facts to come out.

Speaking of which, do you have any facts about Mel Tucker?

Did you do any digging?

Not yet.

Oh, you're going to do that at the bar?

Yeah.

Okay, all right. You're going to just ask Michigan State fans, what do you think about Mel Tucker? Well, if they win, maybe it'll be worth investigating more.
But if they lose, I might just move on. Okay, you might just move on to the next one.
Nerd Nugget. The Niners have tallied 11 consecutive regular season wins dating back to week eight of last season, a streak that started at the Rams, where they are this week.
It's their longest regular season winning streak since okay they've been on fire in the regular season yeah a lot of wins both these coaches used to used to coach for the commanders isn't that interesting nugget okay next up commanders of broncos let's do it this game's gonna be ugly i think it probably will be ugly so if you look at the recent history of these two franchises uh broncos low-key have just been in disarray since 2016. Oh, yeah.
So this is from Nikki Javala from the Washington Post. We're not doing Fancy Fuckboys yet.
Yeah, well, it's a her. Okay.
That's fine. That is a good Fancy Fuckboys.
Nikki Javala? That's a great Fancy Fuckboys. Since 2016, the Broncos have had 12 quarterbacks starting.
The Commanders have had 13. The Broncos have had five defensive coordinators.
The Commanders have had three. The Broncos have had seven offensive coordinators.
The Commanders have had five. And each team has had two different ownership groups.
So that's a fun little stat for you right there about depressing franchises. I think that the Commanders defense, I was telling Max this earlier, and I meant it to be a compliment about the Philadelphia Eagles.
I was saying – Oh, he did not take it that way. The Commanders, I think, have a better defensive line than even the Philadelphia Eagles.
Well, Max is also on his shit right now because he came up to me. He's like, how do you feel knowing the Bears passed up Aaron Donald? So he's already got Jalen Carter as Aaron Donald.
I mean, he was a top three defensive lineman in the league. Did you watch the film? I watched.
I actually watched the film too. He was awesome.
I just kept Twitter searching Jalen Carter throughout the week and then just watched different people break down how good he is. God damn it.
I wish I could do that. The Vikings also have a back.
This game will this game alert never mind oh go give us a prediction right now tell us the final score i'm just no no tell us the final score no final score but i was just saying no no final score max uh 34 28 eagles oh okay big big shootout so they're not gonna cover uh they push. Push.
So not going to cover. You don't believe in them.
Yeah. You want to amend your final score? But I was going to say the Vikings starting center is out, so that means Jalen Carter over sacks.
Oh, okay. Back to this game.
I think this game is going to stink, PFT. I think it's going to be a game that one team is going to win on a field goal at the end of the game.
Yeah, well, that'd be great because that would mean the commanders would cover. Yeah.
Either way, it does feel like a field goal game. Since 2002, the Broncos are teams playing against the Broncos are 3-21 in weeks 1 and 2 in Denver.
So that goes back to the altitude. Yeah, the altitude and the hot.
Now, I feel like Ron Rivera is going to turn into Riverboat Ron this week. I don't think we've got analytical Ron.
I like that prediction. That was week one.
We had analytical Ron in week one. Week two, the riverboat's coming back.
Because if you remember, Sean Payton did some interviews after he accepted the Broncos position. He talked about what this offseason was for him, how he had a bunch of offers, a bunch of teams that were interested in the services of Sean Payton to be the head coach.
He mentioned that pending what was going to be happening in Washington, some of the ownership groups reached out to him to see if he was interested in coming to D.C. He talked about another man's job.
So this is a revenge game. Rivera knows when another man talks about another man's job.
This is a hypothetical revenge game. This is a hypothetical revenge game.
Sean Payton hypothetically would have taken Rivera's job. I like this.
So Rivera is going to be on the warpath, and it's going to be nice. And I think the commanders in that defensive line, which is the best in the NFL across all divisions, I think that they're going to get after Russ Wills.

Okay.

It might be a tough day for him.

Nerd Nugget.

Also on that end, PFT,

this is a potential milestone game for Ron Rivera.

A win would give him 100 regular season wins in his coaching career.

That sounds impressive until you realize

how many years Ron Rivera's coached.

A lot of years.

Yeah, he's 99 and 90, I believe.

Yeah.

He had that one year with Cam Newton.

But he would become the eighth active head coach

Thank you. very as coach a lot of years yeah he's 99 and 90 i believe yeah oh yeah he had he had that one year with cam newton yeah but it's the saddest active head coach to reach 100 he should have it's insane like when people a big mark when people say that rivera is coaching for his 100th career win you're like wait he doesn't have 100 career wins yet how did that happen it's hard to do i yeah it is it's tough fact that he gets all those opportunities it's tough to stay in the league for as long as Ron Rivera has.
I think it's a good accomplishment. It actually is very, very hard to be 100 wins and almost be 500.
Yeah. It's a Jeff Fisher stack.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Next up, memes.
Your Jets at the Cowboys. Blake Bortles did get back to me.
I asked him if he would like to take a meeting with the Jets,

knowing that he has the Nathaniel Hackett connection.

I said, do you want to meet with the Jets?

Want to break some news?

He replied, LOL, not a chance in hell.

So that sounds like a no.

So that's a no.

That's a firm no from Blake. That's a firm I'm retired.

I think what's going to happen is you have to try with Zach Wilson. Zach's your guy memes i want to hear you say zach's my guy your coach said it zach's my guy yep that's some good zach's your guy zach's the guy wait is he the guy or is he your guy he's just the guy right now because there's no one else oh he's the guy right now he's the guy right now so t's the guy right now.
So TGRN. Right now he's the guy.

Okay.

RNHTG.

So they have to say that and they have to try,

but I would be shocked if playing against this Dallas Cowboys defense

didn't make the Jets be like, well, he was the guy.

Yeah.

He was definitely the guy.

Rex is our quarterback is what you're doing right now.

Yeah, just run the ball.

Run the ball.

Run the ball.

I agree with that.

Every play.

Breesaw is awesome. Davinco is the ball.
Run the ball. Run the ball.
I agree with that. Every play.
Breesaw is awesome. Davin Cook's good, too.
Yep. Okay.
Are you okay? I'm good. I'm had a rough week.
Are you okay? Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself. I am trying to convince myself.
Football was pretty much over week one, but I'm trying to bounce back. But that video of Aaron Rodgers coming out with the American flag.
That was sick. Did you see his statement? What? Yeah, he went dark night on everyone, right? He basically said he's coming back.
Yeah. He said it's always darkest right before the dawn.
Is that true? Do we have any astronomers out there that listen to the show? Is it actually darkest right before the dawn? Yeah, I feel like that's not true. I feel like it gets gradually lighter before the sun rises.
Yeah, a little bit lighter. Is he coming back? Yeah.
Yeah, totally. I think he, although he has guaranteed money, so I don't know if he has to.
Yeah, actually, Aaron Rodgers, well, he gave up a lot of it. But next year he gets a ton.
I shall rise yet again. I shall rise yet again.
Okay, so he's either coming back or he's storming the Capitol. It seems like a threat.
One or the other. Yeah.
But that video, dude, you can just play that video. This has...
I actually think the Jets are going to be live in this game. But we all know, sitting in this room, this has potential for disaster.
Is Aaron going to go to the game? No. Potential for disaster.
Disaster. Zach Wilson drops back.
His 30-yard drop back. In inter interception he's not running away from mika parsons like a mika i like that mika parsons we're trying to just like feminize him it's like morning joe's co-host yeah mika parsons that's not how you say it's micah micah micah are you thinking of Minka Fitzpatrick? No, Mika.

Mika Parsons.

Don't forget, Mika Parsons has a big foot fetish.

Remember that video?

Mika Parsons wants to get those sacks.

Rex Ryan will be watching this game intently.

What do you got?

Dak Prescott also stinks.

That was for Max.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

People are mad about the Dak slander.

Yeah.

Dak does stink. Yeah, Dak sucks.
He, he could throw just as many picks as Zach Wilson. 100%.
Yeah. No, I mean, it wasn't.
They scored a defensive touchdown, a special team touchdown. I actually have a fun fact.
Could you guys tell me the last time a team in NFL history had a 40-plus point shutout with at least one offensive, defensive, and special team touchdown in a season opener. I cannot.
There's only one other team. I cannot tell you.
Is it a memorable game or is it just a good one? Very memorable. It was the Akron Pros versus the Wheeling Stogies in 1920.
Who could forget that game? They had to change the name of the Stogies i have one for each team dallas leads the nfl in takeaways and interceptions dan quinn arrived okay it's one

week yeah okay yeah and also i take a lot of these from the team's game notes online the jets have a

pro zach wilson one on their first page of their of their uh media guide zach wilson since 2022 is

Thank you. online the jets have a pro zach wilson one on their first page of their of their uh media guide zach wilson since 2022 is third in the league in fourth quarter passer rating oh okay behind joe burrow and dak prescott mr fourth quarter now does that have anything to do with prevent defense maybe it probably doesn't have anything to do with the fact that minimum minimum 50 dropbacks in the fourth quarter i don't know i don't think it has anything to do with the fact that they're getting their ass kicked in the fourth quarter.
You have to pass the ball. Joe Burrow, Dak, Zach.
What's that face, memes? That's good. When were they getting their ass kicked in the fourth quarter? Last year? Last year, no.
Never? I'm trying to think. Mike White was in a lot of comeback games.
Yeah. But they led when they were...
They went 5-2 before Brees Hall got hurt and they led in most of those games. So he might be Mr.
Fourth Quarter. Heard it here first.
It might also blow up in our faces. Yeah.
This is going to be a, you're going to have to watch this like, you know, through your hands, seeing how this game goes. Because it could get disastrous.
You got this. You got this.
You got this. Come on memes.
You got it. Memes, rally for your boys.
You know what you could do? You could just say it's the biggest game in Jets franchise history, and then you just do it the next week, too, and the week after that. You just keep doing that.
It's a good coping mechanism. I highly recommend it.
Yeah, you're right, memes. They were actually in all those games, so maybe it wasn't.
Mr. Fourth Quarter.
The year before when he was a rookie, yes, they went like 3-13. So we're counting those two, though, right? Yeah, you get counted those.
Since 2022. Oh, since 2022.
So it's just last year. And last week.
So last year and last week. Third best fourth quarter passer rating in the league behind Burrow and Dak.
Interesting. There we go.
But if you count in rookie year, then it's... You can build on this.
It's all right. You can build on this.
Yeah. All right.
Last afternoon game, Giants at Cardinals. So how should we rank the Giants knowing that Dable just partied his balls off on...
Oh! Yep. Did you get that wrong? At the time, I used all available information.
Okay. And it was like 30 minutes.
I was in the Uber home back with max and i was like i'm gonna look really bad from this it came out it was like six-year-old birthday material change when i saw it happen i was like yes i'm so happy we're already recording yeah because i knew i was screwed from the beginning uh then giants twitter came at me but at the time michael k had to issue an on-air apology good it sounded like when i saw this report i thought michael k was fucking with everybody and he was like they had a big party yeah it was for a six-year-old but okay jake i'm gonna get your back for a little bit here no i was i shouldn't no no i mean i know we're reporting at the time there's also a good possibility that he got fucked up at his six-year-old's birthday party this is parents parents like to drink at their kids Yeah, Michael Kay just did a confirmation bias investigation. It was like, how do you lose 40 to nothing? Okay, did he drink last night? Yeah.
Was it a party? Yeah. Did he have a party, Jake? It was a party.
He had pizza. A late night party.
Yeah. I'll just say right now, if you eat a lot of pizza, you could get just as hungover.
He did look big. It's a fact.
That is a fact. If you stuff yourself with pizza, you could feel just as bad the next day.
When they did the side-by-side shot of the two coaches, Daybold, he did look like he was challenging McCarthy. Yeah, he was doing something.
All right, so I think the Giants, I think we're going to learn that the Cardinals are bad. Maybe.
I still think that their defense is going to be pretty good. Yeah.
I think the Giants are going to win this game. Their defense is violent.
Yeah. What, Max? PFT is only saying that because the commanders barely beat them.
No, I'm saying that because if you watch the X videos and the Twitter film on it, Max, that defense was headhunting. But it might have also been Sam Howell not being super decisive.
No, no. They were coached that way.
Okay. I'm telling you, watch the Cardinals this week.
Tell me that they don't take sneaky violent shots. It would be so funny if the Giants put up like 50.
No, no. I'm fucked.
The Cardinals defense is sneaky good. It has nothing to do with Sam Howell doing a reverse spin move and dropping the ball into the end zone.
It has nothing to do with Sam Howell forgetting to slide and getting his head put into a leg lock. It has nothing to do with Sam Howell remaining upright as he's going to the sidelines and getting his head knocked off.
That defense. They coach that.
It's that defense. They're a dirty team.
PFT was really upset that the Commanders had the same odds to win the Super Bowl as the Bears and the Giants. I was.
We're 1-0. You played the worst team in the league.
That was my exact response. One of the best defenses in the league.
We're 1-0. By the way, you want to bet on Zach Ertz to score a touchdown.
He has a touchdown in five straight games versus New York. He has more touchdown receptions versus the Giants, seven than against any other team in his career.
What team was he playing for? He was playing on the Eagles. It's true.
Yeah. It is true, but he was playing on the Eagles.
Again, these teams love to boost their teams up. This is a birthday party fact, Jake.
You have to read it in context. It's true, though.
Now I'm going to have to bet it. I'm going to have to bet him to score a touchdown.
I'll have to do it. Who's going to throw it to him? Because I don't want to look like a fool.
Is it Josh Dobbs or is it Clayton Toon? I don't know. He loves playing against the Giants.
All right. So Uber Eats, what are we going to get for dinner? I'm going to throw something out there.
Yeah. Burritos.
Ooh, I like burritos. Yeah.
Oh, we got a yes for memes. All right.
Okay. So are we deciding it? Uber Eats, burritos, Sunday Night Football? Yeah.
Because we're going to try to live stream. We're going to try to get in the studio for at least the second half so Hank can watch the second half.
Well, Hank and Jake, your two teams are playing. What do you think? I think it'll be a good game.
Let's get sushi. Sushi? Oh, for eating the dolphins.
Oh, okay. Yeah, we might have to wait for burritos.
Maybe we get burritos tonight on Uber Eats. Yeah, that sounds good.
Okay, so yeah, let's do that, and then we'll get sushi, Uber Eats. You should watch The Cove leading into this week and get hyped up.
Get almost anything order now, Uber Eats, last game, Sunday Night Football. Here's a fun fact, Dolphins and Patriots, that I didn't realize you guys probably saw this on X.
To his middle name is Donnie. I did not know that.
Did you know that? Is that true? Donnie. Because anyone can edit Wikipedia.

No, it's on pro football reference, too.

Sometimes they fuck that up, though. D-O-N-N-I-E.

His name is Tu...

Yeah, I got to look that up.

Can you say the whole name?

I got to look it up.

I'm already in the process.

Okay, say the whole name.

Tu-N-N-G-A-M-A-N-U-O-L-E-P-O-L-A-T-U-N-G-A-V-I-L-A-L-A.

No, you have to say the middle name.

What do you mean?

Oh, Donnie. Yeah, come on.
That was the whole point of saying it. Say it again.
Tuaninga Manu Olepola Donnie Tungavailoa. See, that rocks.
That's a fucking great name. His real name's Donnie.
Yeah. I love the two of when they ask him still can't throw deep and he's just like 466.
Oh, what guys had me do uh what's his name from the box Vita Vea his full name I forget it but I did it like uh I have one question about this game outside of the fact that Tua I could I didn't know that I could become a bigger Tua fan a bigger Tua non-fan but the fact that his middle name is Donnie fucking rocks Donnie to make shirts makes shirts. He should be Donnie.
Donnie. Yeah.
It's a night game. You think they're going to light the lighthouse? I think they have to.
Both? I think the lighthouse is actually going to be awesome at night. Are they going to light both, Hank? Well, they got rid of the first one, Big Cat, because remember they built a bigger scoreboard that was bigger than the old scoreboards.
They had to destroy the old lighthouse, and then they built a bigger lighthouse to look over the bigger scoreboard. Will they be lighting the lighthouse, Hank? Duh.
Okay. Who's the keeper of the light this week? Do we know? Probably someone G.
G? Probably Teddy Bruschi. Donnie Wahlberg.
Will it affect your bet seeing who lights the lighthouse no okay are you excited

to see the lighthouse at night i cannot wait i need to get into this lighthouse uh here's a fun

fact about the lighthouse i actually have one ready for you uh it's actually the second biggest

lighthouse in america oh you idiot no moron what's the biggest the old one the statue of liberty is

the biggest lighthouse it was used as a lighthouse you fucking moron american history's the biggest? The old one? The Statue of Liberty is the biggest lighthouse. It is.
It was used as a lighthouse, you fucking moron. It's not a lighthouse.
It's American history. Okay, it was used.
That doesn't mean it is currently. Question for you, Hank.
Is the current lighthouse in Foxborough at Gillette Stadium, is that used as a lighthouse, Yes, clearly. No, it's not, because in the own description that the Patriots have, they put it in quotation marks because it's not a real lighthouse.
It is a real lighthouse. Oh, no.
Why isn't it in quotations, Hank? I don't know. Because it's not a real lighthouse.
So are you nervous about this fact that it's a quotation's lighthouse? No, I think PFT, this lighthouse, lives rent-free in PFT's brain. I like that PFT did research on the lighthouse.
It's the biggest lighthouse in the country. Besides the Statue of Liberty.
No. False.
Not counting the most famous. Can you climb the top of the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, you can, Hank.
No, you can't. As a matter of fact, you can.
No, you absolutely can. You 100% can.
No, you can't. Yes, you can.
They might have stopped it. But you can, but you could have at some point.
No, Big Cat, this is interesting because I have a follow-up question to Hank's inaccurate question. Can you climb to the top of the lighthouse in New England, Hank? Yeah, I could get up there.
Actually, you can't because they're not even selling tickets to get up to the top of the lighthouse until October. So it's a non-functional lighthouse.
Oh, you got to go, Hank. You got to go.
They don't sell tickets to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty either. That's exactly what you tried to gotcha, lighthouse fact me.
Crown access is limited. It's impossible.
Oh, so you can still do it. It depends.
So retract your statement. You can climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
Is there a light at the top of that thing? Yeah, it's the torch. It's the most famous torch in America.
Yeah, come on, dude. They light it up on every shot.
All right, whatever. Well, luckily, Hank, in their Path the Patriot throwbacks.
That's not even an American lighthouse, though. The Statue of Liberty? It was built in France.
It was gifted to us. It's the most American thing in the world.
It's built on American soil. It's a Trojan horse.
Yeah, I still think that to this day there's like some dead 400-year-old French soldiers inside that just couldn't get out. Yeah.
What do you got, Jake? In their Pat the Patriot throwbacks at home, the Patriots. Oh, they're wearing those? Seven and one.
Oh, that's big. That actually is huge.
They just lost their most recent to the Bills last year. That's huge.
Before that, seven in a row. I'm going to put myself in Hank's head real quick.
When he hears the Pat the Patriots throwback, he thinks of that Titans game in the snow where they scored like 30 points in a quarter. Yeah, Brady had like six touchdowns in the first half.
This might be a uniform game. Yeah.
Are the Dolphins wearing their throwbacks? I don't believe don't believe so okay that would rock i do have a sad stat uh you know about the lighthouse speaking of the torch no it would be a real shame if someone jumped off the lighthouse home underdogs in the belichick era including this week with tom brady there was 141 games they were home underdogs 10 times since tom brady or without tom brady has been 46 games they've been home underdogs 10 times. Since Tom Brady or without Tom Brady, there's been 46 games.

They've been home underdogs 15 times.

But that was with the old Lighthouse.

Fact.

Fact.

Only one is with the new Lighthouse.

Yep.

Last week.

Fact.

I watched the film.

It was tough.

All right.

So let's do our picks.

And Jake, you got the records?

Yes, I have our records.

Big Kyle, congratulations. 2-0, the only one.
Me, PFT, and Hank, 1-1. Max and Memes, 0-2.
So we've decided something, and I think this is for the betterment of the show and also for the punishment. Max and Memes cooked this up because they all both went 0-2.
But if the idea and the goal is to get people to want to watch this and attend this live comedy slash whatever vaudeville. An intimate evening.
An intimate evening. We're going to split the punishment.
So it's going to be memes, Max and Jake. The three of them are competing against each other.
The last place person in that group will have to do the 15-minute intro opening act. And then me, PFT, and Hank will compete for the hour slot.
So the last place person in the three of us will be the hour. So that way you're guaranteed me, PFT, or Hank will be putting on the hour show.
Hopefully that will help when we eventually do put this out.

Yeah.

Also, I feel like this would be a good time to update the Pancake League.

Yeah.

So congratulations to Hank.

A huge week.

Seven pancakes.

Wow.

Nice, Hank.

Nice, Hank.

Big Cat with three.

Me with two.

Max and Memes with one.

PFT.

A goose egg.

PFT.

You listen to everything.

I'm not good at these only leagues.

Yeah.

Shout out Sam Schwartzstein for the stats. Yeah.
Okay. How are we picking? Who goes first? I think Hank went first last time, right? Yeah.
So I go first? Yep. And around? Oh, man.
I'm not ready. Can I pass? No.
I think I can. So you go last? Yeah, I don't want to do that, right? I will take, for my first pick, I'm going to take...
You know what? I'll be part of history. I'll take the Lions-Seahawks over 47.5.
You want to do over 79.5? No. For the streak? No, I do not.
There's my pick. Memes.
I'm going to do the Giants minus 4.5.

Okay.

Tough defense.

I'm going with the Pats plus 3.

Good pick, Max.

Your Pats.

Good pick, Max.

Jake?

I'm going to go with Raiders Bills over 46.5.

Okay.

Average a lot.

It's a good pick.

I like it.

I'm going to take the Bengals minus 3. a half cincy spicy they're back against the ravens yeah it's three and a half right yeah spicy yes okay i have two yeah packers plus one bad pick packers plus one against the falcons the falcons bears bucks under 40 and a half good pick bears bucks under 40 and a half.
Good pick. Bears, Bucs, under 40 and a half.
I wanted the Lions, Seahawks. Jake kind of fucked me with the Nerd Nugget.
Yeah. I had to be part of history.
Sorry. Have to be part of history.
I'm going Chiefs, Jags over 51 and a half. Points.
Points. Points.
Points. Points.
Over 51 and a half? Points. Way over 51 and a half.
Points. Way over.
Over 79 and a half, Jake. Points.
Yeah? No. No.
I'm going to go with Bengals minus. Ew.
You already took that. What am I saying? Come on, Jake.
What are you saying, Jake? Come on, Jake. What are you saying? Come on, Jake.
Giants minus four and a half. No.
Get right. No.
Oh, my God. Pass.
Pass. Pass.
Pass. Pass.
Pass. Pass.
Pass. Pass.
Pass. Pass.
I'm trying to update. I'm trying to write it in.
No, no excuse. Pass.
I'm trying to write it in. Max, go ahead.
I'm going Jets, Cowboys over 38 and a half. Love it.
Gross. Well, defensive touchdowns.
Yeah. And Mr.
Fourth Quarter. I like the pick.
Brown Steelers over 38 and a half. Okay.
I'll join you on Monday Night Football. I'm taking the Panthers plus three.
I'll just write this all in after. I'm going to go with.
I hope this hasn't been taken. Bills minus eight and a half.
No, it hasn't been taken.

Against the Raiders, get right.

Okay.

All right, so you have the over in that game and also the over.

Oh, yeah, it doubled up.

Okay.

Interesting.

You need that game to go a certain way.

And if it doesn't, oh, well.

Okay.

Let's get to Fancy Fuckboys before we do Joe Kip Noah.

What's up, boys?

What's up?

What's up? How we doing? You fuck up. What's up? My? What's up?

How we doing?

You fuck up.

What's up?

My name is Maglio Stramaglia.

Maglio.

Y'all remember you from last year and also the year before that.

And also twice that year.

What the fuck you mean?

What's up?

My stardom.

Travis Kelsey.

Oh, you dickhead.

He's playing this week.

He's going to be coming off feeling good after that Taylor Swift suck fest. Yeah.
Taylor Swift, he's on his back. Put him on your team.
Drop to the number one. Take him.
Start him. Start him.
Get some points. Fuck yes.
My sit-em. Colorado State.
Yeah. Playing the boss this week.
Jay Norvell was talking shit That motherfucker Dion

Shows up like a classless piece of shit

Doing his press

Wearing sunglasses inside

And a fucking hat

Can you believe the stones on this guy?

He made it personal

This piece of shit

I might sleep up

Aliens

We got aliens popping up all over the place

I don't know if it's a smokescreen or what

Mexico

I don't know why they're all dead

I want to see a live one

So I can fucking kill it myself

Thank you. Oh, yeah.
We got aliens popping up all over the place. I don't know if it's a smoke screen or what.
Mexico.

I don't know why they're all dead.

I want to see a live one so I can fucking kill it myself.

Yeah.

Fuck.

You just say you want to fuck and kill the alien?

Yeah.

Necrophilia.

Yeah.

All right.

Which one first?

Fuck.

Yeah.

Smart choice.

Smart choice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice, bro.

Okay.

What's up?

Thanks, Maglio.

What's up, Maglio?

What's up, rest of the fans? You fuckheads? This is Donnie Tagovailoa. Nice.
This weekend, I'm starting the lighthouse. Yeah.
Starting the lighthouse, fuck yeah. It's telling all the dolphins, stay away.
Yeah. The only ship that thing's keeping away is championships, if you know what I'm saying.
Yeah. sitting Travis Kelsey going up against Maglio.
Dumb fuck head to head. Stupid fucking shit head.
He's got a bone bruise, Maglio. He's got a deep bone bruise.
That's what you get when you nail her swift, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah.
Fucking brain bruise. Been daggering a little bit too much with old Swifty.
My sleeper is crack cocaine guns and hookers. They just got my boy.
They massacred my boy. Look what they've done to my boy.
Cocaine, crack, guns, hookers. It's a Warren Zivon song for our teenage.
I fucking love him. Rest in peace to my man Hunter.
We got you on the inside. Hell yes.
Hell yes. What's up? What's up, you you fuckers This is Zippo Galippo Zippo ZG My stardom is the Dallas defense They're gonna face fuck Zach Wilson They're gonna make him his bitch Digs Mika, Mika, here he come Don't drop the soap, Zachy Mika's coming My sit-em is Danilo Cavacante.
That fucker got caught. Danilo Cavacante?

Danilo Cavacante.

That fucker got caught, dog. The bounty

hunter said, I'm coming to find you. Go birds.

Put himself in. Go birds.
Go birds.

Go birds. Go birds.
My sleeper

is that fat fuck Bloopy.

I hate him so much, but I also

have to admit the fact that ever since we became

the mascot, the Braves and won the NL East

every single year. Yo, you see Danilo

Cavacante's favorite baseball team. They lit

I'm sorry. I hate him so much, but I also have to admit the fact that ever since we became the mascot, the Braves have won the NL East every single year.

Yo, you see Develo Canicante's favorite baseball team.

They lit up the scoreboard for the Braves.

They said congratulations to the Bravos for winning the NL East in their own stadium. In their own stadium.

They do this at your own home.

Bad sports style.

Except we love Matt Olsen.

I have a dumb question.

Yeah.

Tonello?

Yeah, he should go back to jail.

All right. at your own home.
Bad sports style. Except we love Matt Olsen.
I have a dumb question. Yeah.
Tonello? Yeah, he should go back to jail. How? Oh, nope.
I just answered it myself. Oh, whoa.
Now you gotta tell us. Give us a little insight into the conversation that just went on inside your own brain.
Yeah, that was great. I just saw the, and I know this probably happened a few years ago.
I know it happened a few years ago. I saw the wild card standings.

There was three wild card teams, and I was like, how the fuck does that work?

That's an odd number of wild card teams.

You didn't realize.

It's six. As I was about to say that, I remember the division winners.

Yeah, it's six, and then the first two get a bye,

and then one of the division winners has to play in the wild card opening weekend.

Three-game series at the home team.

So we are getting Cubs-Phillies.

Cubs are losing right now.

It's on pace for the 4-5 matchup.

It's not looking good.

How many games left?

Like 20, 14, 15.

Max, what do you think about that?

The fact that in Philadelphia, they congratulate the Braves on winning the division in their own stadium.

I think that was probably the grossest thing that I've ever seen in Philadelphia.

Yeah, it was bad. Not the murderer that they caught wearing an Eagles shirt.
And pose with him. Yeah, that was awesome.
It was so good. He's got to wear clothes.
They held him up like he was a deer. He does have to wear clothes.
Like a deer they just shot, like holding him by his hoodie like it's antlers, just posing him for the gram. That picture was an absolute joke.
I do think that anyone that gets arrested, they should have to wear the shirt or baseball cap of their favorite team during the mugshot. Yeah.
That way we can all be like, look at this Yankees fan that just got arrested for triple homicide. Go birds.
Yeah. Go birds.
Okay. Let's get to our great interview with Joe Kim Noah in person.
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OK, here he is. Joakim Noah.
okay we we now welcome on a recurring guest, our friend Joakim Noah. Actually, last time we had you on, I was looking it up.
It was maybe one week before COVID. So it was February 2020.
So it's good to see you. Good that we all made it through.
You're in Chicago. You have the One City, One Love basketball tournament that we were just talking about before.
It's an awesome, awesome thing you're doing that we'd love to get involved in. But for people who don't know, can you explain what exactly you guys are doing? Thanks for having me.
It's good to do Barstool and In the Chi. I think that this is where Barstool belongs.
And, you know, just to be back, you know, not having played with the Bulls for almost 10 years and to be able to do these leagues and still be involved in the community, something that's really cool. And, you know, One City is a league that we started with Kobe Williams and Noah's Ark Foundation.
And it's working with 28 violence prevention groups and using their mentorship to bring in kids. And we're doing it through a league.
We're paying the kids. We're incentivizing the kids.
And this is the first season and the finals are tomorrow. Yep.
And we're really excited.

We're doing it at 167 Green Street, that beautiful court overlooking the whole city. Looks like it's in the clouds.
Yeah. So we're all really excited.
The kids are excited. And you know, it's been great, man.
Just the support, the love, and just everybody just uniting to, to, you know, put in work in the communities that need it. And I think that's what it's all about.
It's great because basketball is like the universal language. You get people playing basketball and you can, you know, be competitors on the court and then shake hands after.
I mean, it's a great project. I, we said before next next year we're going to try to set it up that you guys can play some games at our new office when we open it up, which would be incredible.
I appreciate that, Big Cat. And it's just like, yo, you know, it's cool because we can talk about it and we're all in this together.
And what I tell the guys is nobody's bigger than the work. So, you know, whether I pull up or the kid who's we're all we all have the same input and we're all trying to grow this thing together so it's the beginning uh it's it's been really special and um let's just keep building yeah yeah i also the last time we had you on like i said was before covid you have since squashed your beef with kg that is squash that is squash and is squash.
And it started here. Remember you guys were talking about it a lot.
We brought it up. We brought it up.
He was just doing his movie with Adam Sandler. Yes.
And, you know, you were talking about the beef from like 10 years ago. And, you know, people come up to me in the street all the time, like, yo, KG, man.
Fuck KG. And I'm like, yo, man, I got kids.
I'm not tripping about this stuff, this was a long time ago. Walked around thinking about Kevin Granato all day.
Yeah, I'm like damn, people are still like on that so there was an opportunity to just really go and talk to him and vibe with him on his show and talk about what we're doing in Chicago he spent a lot of time here in high school and, you know, gets a lot of love out here in the city. So I just wanted to, you know, let him know what we were doing and he's all about it.
And it was just, like, cool to have that conversation with somebody that you really looked up to, then became kind of like a rival. And then, you you know you can kind of talk about all those times and and and squash it and see what's up for the future yeah did he say he was sorry he kind of did he kind of did he said hey man kind of did i should have called you a bitch i'm sorry basically basically that's what happened yeah yeah so that you you won that argument then if

he had to apologize he's kind of a bitch that's a beta move i forgot barstool you guys are all about that bullshit man we just restarted you're like joe keem you want to come and talk about one city yeah joe keem noah says kevin garnett's a baby no i i'll wear that i called him a bitch for you you squashashed the beef I just restarted for myself Talk about that with him later Yeah, it is cool to see what you're doing here Chicago, I have to imagine Chicago has a very special place In your heart for you want to come back in the community And do something like this Can you just tell us, I'm sure Big Cat knows Because he was here watching you play at the time, but what was your connection with the city of Chicago? And the city was everything, you know. I mean, you're playing for one of the most special sports teams in the world.
So much history. You know, I didn't know much about the city before I got here.
I just knew it was a tough city. And I just wanted to go out there and play hard every night.
And I think that, I don't know, I think that our teams, you know, during that time were teams that this city was really proud of. And, you know, those are the most special times I had on the court, you know, I still some of my best friends today were from those teams.
You know, you know, Taj. I see you see what Luol is doing right now, you know, coaching South Sudan.
It's the newest country in the world. And they're going to qualify for the Olympics.
It's crazy. Yeah.
And it's all because of Lou work you know this is the guy i was sitting next to uh on the plane for eight years and now he's really using his platform to do things that are just so much bigger than just basketball he started a basketball culture in sudan yeah in south sudan and they're gonna qualify how many times not to bring up a bad memory, but because I'd say probably once a month, I think about what if Derrick Rose didn't get injured. How many times do you think that pop in your head were like, fuck? Especially that year when the Bulls were the one seed and the first injury.
Does it just like you'd be daydreaming and you'd be like, damn, that sucked. Yeah, I'm not going to lie.
That was a really tough moment for him and for all of us, you know, when you have that hope of winning a championship. And I think that hope and those emotions were, you know, everybody in the city was feeling those emotions, you know.
So, yeah, it was definitely tough. I felt like we could have won some championships for sure.
But the reality is what you remember is what you have at the end when this is all said and done is your friends, your relationships and your memories. And you know what? Those were great memories, you know, being with those guys and battling with those guys.
I wouldn't change that for anything. And even though, you know, that was tough, we're still tight, we're still cool, and we're going to keep building.
So to me, that's what it's all about. Yeah.
There were some rumors at the time that LeBron was considering coming to Chicago. Were you excited about that possibility or were you a little bit apprehensive? Like, there's going to be an entire thing about LeBron coming here.
It's going to change the dynamic of the team that we have right now, change the culture. or were you a little bit apprehensive like it is going to be an entire thing about LeBron coming here it's going to change the dynamic of the team that we have right now change the culture were you were you like it were you uh looking forward to that happening or was it more of like uh it'd be cool if it did but uh I could deal without all the drama cool without no hell no come on I was trying to I was recruiting him yeah I was trying to get him to Chicago.
All those guys, Chris Bosh, D-Wade, you know. But I think that the whole thing was just great, just the battles against them.
You know, I really felt like if we were healthy, we would have got them, you know. But it was cool because it was a thing where it wasn't just Chicago that was rooting against them.
It was the whole country that was rooting against the Heat. Yes.
So it was like everywhere you went, people were like, yo, fuck the Heat. Yes.
And we were the team that kind of had a shot. And it was like we all came through the draft.
It was just like the way that we were built, just like it was something that we could really be proud of. We were you know, we were all brothers, like first checks together.
Like, yo, this is this is we're going up against, you know, the other side of just free agency and super team. We're like, you know, fuck all that shit.
Yeah. And, you know, like we're the guys who are just like who did it right through the draft.
And we're going at you guys. So they beat us every time, but in the playoffs,

but they were definitely some battles I'll never forget.

The Derrick Rose at the all-star game when they're all dancing and he's just

all business.

That was like the embodiment of like the two teams at that time.

And yeah, I mean, the Bulls fell short, but it was, it did feel like, Oh man,

if everyone can get healthy, there's a chance here.

There was also a rumor that you were going to maybe join LeBron out in the Lakers, and then they signed Dwight Howard. That would have killed me, just so you know.
If you had been teammates with LeBron and slapping him on the ass and laughing at his jokes, it would have killed me a little bit. Yeah, it didn't happen, and it's probably a good thing.
Yeah, did you think about that? Like'm gonna have to laugh at all his jokes i'm gonna talk about the godfather like i'm gonna drink his wine you know at that at that point i mean i'm sure it would have been pretty good the wine it probably drinks pretty good wine um you know what i don't it's it's maybe it's better it just didn't happen yeah and you know overall i'm just at that point i was surviving so i was just trying to get a gig right you know even before i talk to you guys it's like yo it's march or april i don't have a team you know um i hadn't played in a couple years so you know when that's taken away from you um shit i would have went anyway yeah you would have done anything do you play pickup at all because i always i always imagine like if you're a professional athlete maybe you removed from the game for a couple years then you just start playing pickup and dominating people how much fun that would be you do that ever like randomly show up to a game like i'm just gonna i'm just gonna beat everyone here i don't but i'm always the thing my problem is i'll go to games and I'll be like, yo, I think I can still bust his ass. But I can't.
My homie always tells me. He's like, nah, you can't.
You have no shot. We went to a WNBA game yesterday.
My homie Matt said, you know, I don't think you can beat her in one-on-one. I'm like, you're crazy.
But anyway, it's just

the competition.

You need someone to keep you in check, but I would imagine

yeah, you're sitting there like, fuck it.

Let me get 10 minutes.

Yeah, but

even 10 minutes, it's a lot of work

that goes into even playing 10 minutes.

You can't just go out there and

you'll get hurt.

Basketball is no joke, man.

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I have an idea for you, a viral idea. I think, remember when Erlacher did his whole hair transplant? What if you did a shot transplant, all of a sudden you're like warming up and you have like a sick three-point shot now, not the push shot.
That'd be cool. Are you going to help me change the form? Yeah, let's go.
We got Mark Titus here. Yeah, please.
He's a shooting coach. You beat him in the national championship.
He was on the bench. But you probably, you definitely beat him directly.
Yeah. You're like, fuck that guy.
He actually told us a very funny story that I want to hear your side from. He said that Greg Oden in the national championship, it didn't dawn on him until he was standing on the free throw line with maybe a minute and a half left.
And it might have been Al or Corey Brewer being like, yo, we're going to get fucked up tonight. And we got so many women ready back at the place.
And Greg was like, shit, those are are supposed to be my chicks and that was the moment he was like i we lost the national title so was it as fun as as greg like knew he was missing out on wow what a question holy shit it was a long time ago you know yeah um but you can imagine like getting that chip and bring it back to school i mean it, it was so good. We came back for a second year.
Yeah, yeah. So, you know, they're like, yeah, you can go to the NBA now.
And we're like, I know we're going to stay in college. Which is smart.
Probably will not be done again in today's college basketball. Like back-to-back champs is going to be very hard with all the movement, transfer, everything.
Like you guys might be – we might be in 20 years talking about the fact that, oh, yeah, Florida was the last team to do it back-to-back. I mean, they should.
Yeah. They should.
Come on, man. It was a hell of a run.
You know, there's not a lot of guys who, you know, you say, here's the jing, here's the money, and you say, no, I'm going back to school. And that's why I'm so proud of those years, man, because it wasn't about the bread.
You also had the collection of maybe the wildest group of athletes ever assembled on one college campus at one time between the basketball team and the football team. Don't forget Ryan Lochte.
And Ryan Lochte and Dan Bilzerian, right? So of all those guys, who on the football team were you guys were you guys coolest with like was there did you guys hang out uh between the two groups or was it we did all teams doing our thing we were all tight man yeah and it worked out you know it was i mean when you're winning you know you can imagine you're on a college campus like uf i mean there was enough for everybody yeah you know you don't have to be you know it wasn't well tebow doesn't take any so he's right exactly that's right that's right you know you ever hang out with tebow and just like wait for girls to come up to him and then he's like okay i'll introduce you here i'm not gonna take this wingman yeah no he wasn't a great he wasn't a great wingman but you know he just made it so fun, man. This guy was a savage on that field.
Yeah. You know, so, you know, he was just, that's all he cared about, lifting weights and all that extra testosterone, you know what I'm saying, when you're not getting any box.
Yeah. It's built up.
It's built up. All that build up, it's a real real thing it makes you a beast on the field yeah I mean hello what uh so Billy Donovan your coach in Florida now obviously the coach of the Bulls what is it about him uh that can give confidence to because the Bulls are in a weird spot right now they're kind of in a transition don't really like one foot in one foot out talent but maybe not all the pieces uh do you still you have confidence that Billy like what's his coaching style that will get them through this I love coach Donovan you know I think he's like he's just a real good balanced dude who's great coach but you know pull you to the side talk to talk to you, and coach you hard when you need it too.

So I think he has the right balance of really getting guys

and getting the best out of guys.

So I'm happy he's here, and I'm looking forward to a big year this year.

Yeah.

You've famously squashed the beef with the KG, as we mentioned.

Have you squashed the beef with George W. Bush?

I can't do that. What was the beef well he went to the white house oh yeah you decide to you know i'll respect the building the office of presidency but i'm gonna leave my shirt untucked is that what happened that's what i read is that you tell me i don't know where'd you read that in the post new york post? I'm not sure.
I might be missing some facts here.

But yeah, what I read was you decided to go to the White House, but you're like, I'm going to leave my shirt untucked out of protest for the war in Iraq.

I mean, I just kept my shirt untucked.

It had nothing to do with a protest.

Don't overthink it. But I mean, yeah, I do have my views and I didn't feel like we should be out there at all.

And it was tough to be in that position when, you know, you don't align with the president's views. But I also knew that, you know, me not going was this was a moment that was bigger than me.
And I was thinking about my teammates as well. Like if I hadn't went, what that would have done for them.
So, you know, being as respectful as possible, even though, you know, I didn't agree with a lot of things that were going on at the time as a, you know, as a 19 year old kid. And, you know, as athletes, that's a tough position to be in because, you know, you, you know, eyes were on us.
We had just won the championship. I was the MVP of the Final Four.
And you don't go. It's not just you.
And these are lessons that I live with today. It's like when I make decisions or when I say things, it doesn't affect just me.
It affects my whole team. It's my whole crew.
And so, yeah, I have my views. And at the time, that was a decision I had to make.
And I think people felt that. I wasn't real comfortable being at the White House during that time.
But I you know, I did it for my teammates. Yeah.
It is kind of strange that they take a bunch of kids, basically, and they invite them to the White House for a photo op as they're currently sending other kids overseas to fight an award. It's a strange position that you're put in.
It's rough. You can't go drink a brewski.
Right. But you you can go and you didn't drink at all at florida come on man we were lit but i mean but i think it was an interesting it's it's interesting that we talk about this because think about it's like we can barely have conversations in the living room if people have different views nowadays yeah it's true and as an athlete like you're expected to you know go shake hands at the highest level so you know those were that's that's real talk yeah what about what about your beef with obama you got beef with all the presidents oh you talk shit to him yeah well you talk shit to him apparently talk shit to him.
Apparently, he talks shit to you, too, right? Playing basketball. I mean, geez, just because you talk shit doesn't mean that you got beef, man.
So beef squash with Obama. Come on, of course.
Of course. What's his game like? He's pretty good.
Yeah, but are the guys he's playing against taking it easy on him? I wasn't. Okay, good.
Did you swat him? I mean, I tried, but I was like, yo, you're not getting nothing. Because he was talking a little trash.
So I was like, okay, I'm going to put that press on you. I'm not going to let you just because you're the president.
So I went hard. He had to feel it yeah what uh i'm sure you've thought of this if not been asked about this but how much money do you think you guys that florida team would have made if the nil existed then because it i mean it's great that kids are getting paid now it's awesome it took too long to get there but i always think about the the college athletes like with the johnny manzel doc where it's like these guys would have been rolling in it and they deserved it have you have you had that like calculation in your head like you would have been selling you know chevys and and sandwiches and pizzas and just doing everything yeah i mean it would have been nice but you know i'm not tripping i think that i'm i'm proud journey, you know, and, you know, I can go to sleep at night in peace.
But, you know, I think it's a good thing, but it's only the start of the fight. You know, this Final Four thing generates, what, billions of dollars? You know, so some guys are getting paid and can sell the pizza, but not everybody.

Right.

And, you know, this thing is generating a lot of bread.

And, you know, it's the final four.

Your parents should be able to go to the final four.

Right.

I mean, you guys are generating billions of dollars.

Like, that's not so okay.

And that's nice.

That's nice.

But it's a Band-Aid. Yeah, there's more work to be done.
It's tough because the people who deserve more of the share, being the players, they're only on campus for one, two, three years, and it's tough for them to get together and make any sort of lobbying effort or change anything that's going on until it's too late and they're already gone. And then after they move on to the next level or whatever the case is, then they're not going to all get back together and continue to apply pressure on the NCAA.
It's a tough position. So have you thought about what would be a fair way to share all that money? I mean, no.
I haven't thought about it, to be honest. But it should.
Yeah. It should.
And, you know, I'm not educated enough to. I just know that there's something's off.
Yeah. Something's off.
This thing is generating too much money and guys are getting NIL deals. Like, no, there's a piece of the pie like television revenue.
Like, come come on why aren't the guys and the girls getting paid off that and i think that that's what okay free education yeah yes great we need that but we deserve a piece of the pie yeah yeah um how much when you watch devin booker you know he's been ascendant the last couple of years how much credit do you think you deserve for double teaming him in that practice oh my god that's crazy yo yes we're double team sensationalism at its finest well then you tell us set the record straight i mean i loved it it was like oh yeah joe keem still got that dog in him it never stops stops. No, but I mean, come on, man.
Like, the guys were playing to 11. The guy has, like, the first nine buckets of the game.
I'm like, yo, it's a close game. I'm not trying to get off the court.
Like, I get it. Some guys might not care about winning in pickup.
Like, I want to fucking win. Yeah.
You know, it was just second nature to me. And then the the next thing i know it's like this shit is going viral and everybody's like kobe's talking about like what he would do i'm like oh shit this is this is a real conversation and then i go to uh i'm at nobu in malibu like the next day and who do i bump in right away it's like d book's in there it's just weird like weird.
Like, so what's up? Yeah, is he looking for the double team? He's like, what the fuck? Here it comes again. It was a great clip.
You're like, fuck, yeah, I'm playing hard. I mean, hearing that side of it, there's nothing worse if you're playing pickup at any level than having to sit for a while.
Exactly. You want to keep winning.
You want to stay on the court for five, six games six games yeah and if it's not about trying to win like what what the fuck are we doing yeah this is this is boring yeah you gotta you gotta want to win i i'd imagine tibbs watched that clip and was like that's my guy he never gives up he was he was proud yeah he probably was like well he was like i just hope that joe king played 46 minutes that game he probably didn't give a fuck he is i mean i love tibbs he's an incredible basketball coach was there ever a time where you're like hey can you take it a little easy on us like we don't have to go this crazy all the time i mean almost every day you told him that i mean tibbs you're wilding you know how many times i would see kyle corver practice. He would stay in his car until the last minute.
And I would walk by and I would see Kyle and it was just like his eyes were wide open. He just like, you knew what he was thinking.
He's like, I don't know if I can do this. Yeah.
He's like, fucking, we just had a game and we're doing defensive slides. It's like, what the fuck is going on? There's no no other team that's doing it and then he's just looking at his books like number one number one defensive team you know best rotation is in the league and he's like that's because you guys are doing it the day after practice man that's why we're doing it yeah and i mean the results if the results are there it probably truth is why kyle korver keeps getting out of the car exactly it's so funny because i think everybody out there's been been at a job that they hate yeah where they pull that exact move waiting until the last second in the parking lot and then it starts creeping over and you get out of your car like one minute late yeah and it's yeah that's that's a big sigh and kyle korver's a millionaire many times over it's just like oh here we go again.
Tibbs was nuts, man.

Like you'd be winning by 20 points if they made two threes

at the end of the game and we won by 14,

he could come into the locker room and be going nuts on us.

Like we lost.

Yeah.

I mean, like, yo, what the fuck just happened?

We won by 20.

We won by 15, bro.

Like chill.

Yeah. But, you know, that was the vibe at the time.
I'm sure he's chilled. No, he hasn't chilled at all.
No? No, definitely not. I mean, you tell me.
You know him obviously very well. It feels like all he does is basketball.
Like, I would imagine he lives in his office with a bunch of Chinese food containers out. And he's just basically cracking the code to basketball at all times.
I mean, wouldn't you want that to be your coach? Yeah, definitely. Exactly.
He might not have been in his office because Gar Foreman and John Paxson were definitely bugging his office. And you know that that's true.
You know that's true. Come on, man.
Shout out to Pax. Shout out to Tibbs.
Those are the best times. I'm not worried about no bugs, man.
I see what they're trying to do on Barstool. They're not going to catch me, guys.
Don't worry. We're getting all kinds of headlines.
I'll keep my thoughts to myself, but I have a lot of thoughts. We can talk about it after.
It's crazy how much you know about this shit, though. Well, I mean, I lived through it.
I was just like, I mean, Tibbs was, you said it, but like the way he had you guys playing in the middle of February when a lot of teams can, you know, take an off night or be like, all right, well, we had back-to-backs or we had a long road trip. That Bulls team, every single night, brought all the intensity, and it was awesome to watch.
Because I always use you as a description for, you know, we're fans we we root for the the jersey and we want the players to care as much about the franchise and the city as as we do and i always point to you as being one of those guys just like when you watch him you know how much he cares and those are the best guys to root for appreciate that yeah yeah and that's why we're still here yeah you know and all the guys who are on those teams, you know, it wasn't me or Tibbs. It was like the whole squad, 1 through 15.
Yeah. Benchmob.
Yeah, benchmob. And that's why we're tight to this day, you know.
Like, you'll never hear me. I'll tell jokes about Tibbs and shit, but I love Tibbs.
Yeah. I love PAX.
I love all those love all those guys. It's just really, really special times.
And it's 10 years later and we're talking about doing work in the community and doing all this stuff. But it was because of those teams.
And even though we didn't win, those teams resonated and our coach had that identity. Like, yo, back to back, I don't give a fuck.
You guys are playing 40 minutes. And people look and people look at it now like yo you guys are crazy but you know what that's in in some way like that represents what this city is all about so um yeah i'm proud of i'm proud of those teams yeah where do you uh where do you go to do you have an outlet right now to get that competitive fire out because like you're such a passionate player such a get, it's like you, you enjoyed turning it up to 11.
And now you said you don't play pickup basketball. So you got to have something that you do that lets you get that fire out, right? Well, the year I retired, um, I started working with, um, the basketball Africa league.
And so I started, you know, I was around the game and, you know, we're in year four. And I'm just like really proud to be doing work in Africa right now.
You know, the people really, the kids really need it. You know, my father's side of the family is from Cameroon.
Joel Embiid's the MVP. There's one indoor court in the whole country.
You know, imagine when we can start building some real infrastructure and it's growing. It's growing.
Like basketball is really not part of African culture yet, but when it is, holy shit, it's, it's, it's real. Yeah.
I mean, just look at the team France. You've talked about that.
Like, the international game is insane right now. It's insane.
The best two players in the league are international guys. Yeah.
Yeah, all over the world. And then you got Victor coming.
Exactly. And they listen.
Yeah. You know, these kids over here, you know, they got all their TikToks and stuff.
So they're comfortable. I mean, they're not playing around over there, and they listen.
Yeah. Can us a scouting report on Victor? I mean, he's like the kid's the real deal.
Left pull up everywhere, left right, handle, 7'3". I mean, we haven't seen anything like that.
So, you know, he's a guy I really – I went to go see him play um two weeks before the draft he was playing in a playoff game in France you know a lot of guys like here they shut it down because they're going to be a top pick nah he was he was playing to me that says a lot about you know the character of the guy the guy likes to hoop and I think there's going to be you know some growing pains but he got the perfect coach with pop who's gonna just sit him down and be like yo young fella just take it easy i've seen this i've seen this before yeah you know this is this is not a sprint it's a marathon you know just keep working on your shit and you're gonna be all right it is the perfect setup for him um i had one other question about the bulls teams at what point did you know Jimmy Butler was different because it is crazy to think about his path where he was drafted the first couple years with the Bulls and now he's you know that heat run was improbable this year the one in the bubble was crazy like he is a superstar did you have that moment where you're like oh shit this is he yeah he's gonna be something real here I mean, you is a superstar. Did you have that moment where you're like, oh, shit, this is – yeah, he's going to be something real here.
I mean, you know, Jimmy's probably the toughest competitor I've ever been around. And, you know, it started right away.
I mean, he got his – he wasn't playing in the beginning. And then he had that big game in the garden where luau got hurt or he got he fouled out and he had to guard mellow the rest of the game and we ended up winning the game and but you know young young jimmy rookie and i think that gave him a lot of confidence he worked his ass off and um you know the sacrifices that he made in the summers were just unbelievable i mean people don't know this but he was going whole summers no tv jesus whoa that's like i'm out i'm out that's why that right there that's probably the only reason why i'm not in the nba right now i could never give up tv fuck that whole summers no tv whole summer no tv not worth it it's's not worth the millions of dollars to me.
What do you do? Yeah. I mean, you got to.
Just practice, I guess. Grind.
Waking up early, like, I mean, 4 a.m., 5 a.m., you know. I could cure cancer without TV.
Like, I think about how much time I waste watching TV. That's insane.
Yeah, you're right, PFT. We'd be in the league.
World peace. I would be simultaneously president of the United States, established world peace, and also NBA MVP.
Jesus Christ. First ever.
All you have to do is just turn the TV off. You could tell me, okay, PFT, you'll grow a foot and a half, and you'll be the richest man in the world.
All you have to do is just never watch TV again. No, I no i'm out i'm sorry it's too much for me i mean it's it's easy to say that when you got a 500 million dollar company uh well it's actually one dollar it's worth a dollar oh they've bought it back for one dollar so you guys are just i could buy and sell this company at least 100 times over yeah i got enough money in my pocket to buy this company yeah it bought it back for one dollar from the person he sold it to for what 400 million 550 million so yeah yeah that's a lot of cheeseburgers yeah that's a lot of cheeseburgers that's what i'm saying is this the first interview that you've done in a room where uh when somebody flushes the toilet you can hear the pipes come through on it yeah i feel really comfortable i'm not gonna lie well this is a temporary office we're waiting for the new one um i had one last question as we progress through the season every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept but you know what isn't hard to accept discover believe it or not discover is accepted at 99 of places that take.
You heard that right, 99%. So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover.
Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Well, it's two questions.
One is I told you a story before we started. I kind of want to tell it again, but I'm going to respect you if you don't want me to.
can do it okay this is an all-time joke even know a story because this is also like you know you you got kids you're married now like you're you know a different life but this just don't go into like too deep no no this is 10 years ago this 10 years ago eight years ago uh we were tbt donnie mcgrath and matt walsh all-time stoolies i was on the team with them uh and they had the tournament in chicago you were it was summer so you weren't here but they were staying at your house in an apartment in the i think it was like what was it river west area um and we were partying at your house and donnie called up you and was like joe kim where should we go tonight what's what? And you said to him, just stay exactly where you are and don't worry about a thing.

And then 30 minutes later, about 15 girls showed up to your apartment and they're like, we're here to party.

And it was the most incredible flex I've ever seen.

I mean, it was basically you are Uber Eats.

It was incredible.

It was fucking insane.

It was fucking insane. I've never seen a move like that.
You called in Seal Team Sex. You're just like, stay right where you are.
I got you. I'm going to start by answering this question by telling my wife, baby, I love you.
It was a long time ago. Yes.
And it wasn't me. It was a long time ago yes and uh it wasn't me it was a promoter you don't have the bat phone anymore that's all i'm gonna say no bat phones no bat phones that was a long time ago i'm not that guy anymore yeah yeah but i mean i i just i mean you that was like the coolest move i've ever seen so you i already you, but then I was like, this guy's the coolest guy ever.
And he's loyal to his friends. That's a fact.
Well, you know what? I'll take that as a compliment. Yes.
And yeah, I'm happy you guys had a good time. Yes, yes.
But the last, last question. So One City One Love, the finals is happening Saturday.
I'm not sure when we're going to air this, i just wanted to say it's incredible what you guys are doing and we would love to get involved because it really is like sport and competition in sport i think can solve a lot of the problems that we have today like it's a lot of if you give kids an outlet to compete and and work as a team i think a lot of things can be fixed that, you know, are problems in our society. And I just think you guys are doing a great job and I'm excited for the future.
I appreciate you, bro. I think that, um, first of all, thanks a lot for having me on the show.
I think it's really dope. And one city, something that, you know, gets me excited when I wake up, you know, I think about it all the time the time.
I love the people that I'm working with. This is people that we've been working with for a long time.
And so I'm really proud of that. And the basketball is just a great way to get the kids to come in, and then the real work starts.
And we can put in some programs that can really help kids who need it. So let's just, I think it's just great to just, we can come from different worlds and have conversations and make a difference.
And I think that that's what this tournament is all about. Shout out to Kobe Williams, my guy, bringing the guys together.
the city has so much to offer and makes us so happy.

We might as well just give back and do what we have to do

to make sure that this is a better place.

That's awesome.

We definitely want to be involved as this moves forward.

Yes, and we want you to come to our new office,

and yeah, we'll shoot around.

You can block us.

You can see how many times you can block us.

I'm in.

All right, Joakim, thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.
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We got Fyre Fest of the Week. Hank.
Yeah. Yeah, you're up.
You got a Fyre Fest? For Fyre Fest of the Week. You got a Fyre Fest, spot? We do this on Fridays.
Yep. We've been doing it for a while.

This show is coming out on Friday.

Yeah.

Today's Thursday.

It's the weekend.

Okay, so we record this every Thursday.

Mm-hmm.

You're a technicality.

You're on a technicality kick.

Yeah.

Taking a lot of L's.

Yeah, a lot of L's.

I got a spider problem.

Oh, no.

He's a nice guy.

No, I love spider.

I love Dan DiOrio. He's my guy.
uh there's just like i think i'm scared of spiders arachnophobic what you have spiders in your house i have spiders in my house i have a little like balcony thing there's spiders all over them and i've spray them dude that's what i've realized i'm scared to spray them yeah why i don't know i just i realized that i'm just like holy fuck there's a shitload of spiders out here. I'm scared.
To spray them? Yeah. Why?

I don't know.

What kind of spiders are we talking about?

I realized that I'm just like, holy fuck, there's a shitload of spiders out here.

I got to get some spray.

And then I just haven't done it yet.

Are we talking about deadly spiders?

Venomous spiders?

I don't think so.

I hope not.

So you're just scared of vegetarian spiders?

Yeah.

Oh!

You guys are going to screw with them so much.

Yeah, this is a new way to fuck with Hank Unlocked. Do you have spider bites? No.
I had them last month. I'm still here.
So they're not even attacking you. They're just your roommates.
Yeah. So don't worry about it, Hank.
You're fine. What's the worst that happens? You end up getting a superpower? Star in some Marvel movies? Yeah.
What would happen if you took a spider and you threw it off your balcony? Would it die? Probably. No, probably fly.
Yeah, I think it would fly. Yeah, probably fly.
Catch the wind. Kind of makes you a bitch.
Yeah, that's fine. I'm a bitch.
I mean, they're spiders. Like, you just kill them.
They eat other bugs. Yeah, just fuck.
They're good for the ecosystem. I'm going to get the spray.
I'm just like, like, legit. Again, I understand I'm a bitch.
I understand that this is a bad thing. I just, like thing I just have had the thought like what if I spray them and they fight back no no no what if they get mad right now they're living and they're living a good life and there's a lot of them how many I had a realization I oh, man, there's some over here and some over here.
I looked up.

They're all over the ceiling.

That's the worst feeling.

When you see like one ant and you're like, huh, let me look at this.

And you're like, fuck, there's 300 ants.

There's never one.

Yeah.

You're not a bitch for being scared of spiders because spiders are not fun.

You're a bitch for being scared to spray them.

That's my problem, though, is there's so many spaces that they are that I feel like I'm going to spray them.

And then they're going to.

The other ones are going to be like, yo, the guy's got the spray. They're going to regroup, man.
OK, I think you're a bitch for being afraid of spiders. I'm not afraid of spiders necessarily.
I just have realized this week once I had the realization, like the instant reactions, like, all right, go get some spray and kill them. And I've just been kind of like pushing that off, despite the fact that I know they're there.
You're afraid that they're going to team up, that you're going to make a very powerful enemy? Yeah, so maybe I just need to say it, give myself some confidence to go do it. But you also have a door, right? You can close the balcony door and all the spiders are just outside.
Right, that's why I've just been letting them live. But like, I also, it's weird when I go out there, I'm like, damn, there are spiders gotta put you through a test spider test catching things and eating their insides come on Hank you got this alright yeah this weekend I just need to say it I need a little say it out loud to realize they're fighting back just fight through that I hope you die from a spider that'd be hilarious you know saying all this it would, it would be very funny.
Stop, Jake. That would not be mean.
That would be funny if the spiders actually did, in fact, fight back. And then we were like, oh, Hank was right.
Did you know that the average person eats eight spiders a year in their sleep? That's what I'm like. I had three last night.
I had a bunch. I've been probably gulping on spiders all the time.
They know. They know.
They're like, yo, he ate Ricky last week. Yeah.
We got to fuck him up.

If he brings that spray out, it's on site.

That's totally a fake stat, by the way, that everyone just says.

Yeah.

It's one guy eats like a million spiders and then screws it up for everyone else.

I think it's like some dork scientist that loves eating spiders.

And then he came into work.

He's like, well, actually, did you know it's not that weird?

Yeah.

Everyone does it.

Yeah.

Counting all of us in the room. Okay.
PFT. My fire fest of the week is that I'm a little man.
Yeah, you are. That was so mean.
Hank put out a video. But funny.
Thank you for putting this out on all platforms to make sure that nobody saw it. I missed it on the first two.
It popped off. He texted the group chat being like, hey, I'm sorry, PFT, but I had to put this video.
I'm sorry if it offends. I'm sorry if this offends, but I appreciate you dropping that on every single platform and being like, yo, this is really fucked up what this girl said, but making sure it was on TikTok, Instagram, and on Twitter or X.
But you guys did Weather Girl interviews for Barstool Sports Advisors, and you selected the funniest clips, and there was one where you asked the Weather Girl, what shows at Barstool do you watch besides Advisors? And she said, oh, I saw part of my take. That's the one that's got that little man, the small guy.
Is it dwarf? Is it midget? And Hank's face lit up like he just got the best birthday present of all time when he heard her say that. I'm trying to clarify.
It was incredible. I watched part of my take.
I just watched the one with the little guy. And I was trying to feel her out.
Who was she talking about? You were so happy that she went down that route. And then Jerry.
Jerry piling on was the craziest thing of all time. Jerry's like, yeah, he's little.
Yeah, he is pretty short. Yeah, yeah, good point.
Well, no, I tried to clarify. Maybe it was someone else.
I was like, are you talking about PFT? And she was like, yep, exactly. Did you ask if it was an African-American or if it was a white man? I didn't have to because she knew.
I was like, PFT. And she's like, yep.
And then I don't know if you saw this PFT because people were saying, oh, obviously she's talking about Zah. She's talking about Zah.
She clarified in the comment section. She's talking about PFT? Yeah.
What did she say? She said, I meant it. At you.
This was at you. At PFT Commenter.
I meant it in the nicest way possible. Oh.
Okay, well, that's not a problem. She might not know who I am.
It sounds like she knows exactly who I am. She said she's a fan of Part of My Take.
And she also added you. Because everyone's tagging me in the video, obviously.
Yeah, no, but she added you. And then she thinks...
I think she thinks I'm Zah. No, I think she knows exactly.
Zah's not on Part of My Take. There's two things I'm...
She watched shows. She said, yes, I watched part of my take.
Very confident in. Number one.
8X AWL. She's thinking about Zah.
Number two, that card's defense is for real. Two things I'm sure of.
Little man. That was a tough one.
Little man. Whatever, I'm 5'8 and a half.
If you think that's a little man, go live in China for a year. See how short that is.
Yeah.

Facts. All right.
My fire fest is my wife's out of town this weekend, and I'm realizing that I'm just a fourth child because the texts she sent me are like, if you want to get them dinner, you can get them pizza. Like things that are like this, like this setup of the house.
Like, and I'm quickly realizing I am just a fourth child. Yeah.
Well, husband meal. Yeah.
But like could eat pizza for dinner if you wanted directions to the closest pizzeria and shit like that. Yeah, I guess I am.
I'm not a grown man. You have to change the baby's diaper.
Just heads up. Yeah, all these little things.
They like to eat breakfast. I got to do a little bit better.
You know what you could do? What? Order Uber Eats. Order Uber Eats.
That's a fact. Plug God, Jack.

Natural plug. Nice.

That was natural?

Yeah.

That was good, Jack.

The fun thing, though,

about my kids' age

is whatever you get them

for dinner

is the only thing

in the world

they do not want.

So that just happens.

They change their mind

when it gets there, right?

Instantly.

What if it's in the shape

of a dinosaur?

Nope.

Like, look at these

dino nuggets.

Still, they'd be like,

oh, I had that four weeks ago. Yeah.
Again again I would just do dino nuggets and mac and cheese I mean that's pretty much what you run the ball you just run the ball run the ball left run the ball right run the ball left again that's a lot of also just pancakes because they have the frozen pancakes I cook up pancakes for dinner breakfast lunch everything you ever just do this move? Who wants ice cream? Yeah. And boom, everybody's happy.
Yeah. Snickers.
Shout out Snickers. Plug God.
Jake. Yeah.
I fell off a scooter. Oh, no.
I got really lucky. Are you skinned up? A few scrapes, but it could have been bad.
Your life flashed before your eyes? Yeah. Wow.
You're wearing a helmet, though. I need to start wearing a helmet.
Oh, my God, Jake. You weren't wearing a helmet? No.
Your mother's going to be so upset when she gets this part of the podcast. Yep.
Were you buckled up? You can't really do that. That sounds very unsafe.
Yeah. Don't worry, Mrs.
Marsh. Why? We'll make him wear a helmet.
We'll also make him start wearing a condom when he does misrepositions. I thought I could multitask and tried picking it up.
Oh, no. Should have stopped.
Again, Jake, you keep finding yourself in situations where you will need the handicapped apartment. I need to see you in a helmet just cruising down the street.
Were you on the street, the open road? Well, there's bike lanes here. They're very nice.
They're nice and, like, separated. Also, we forgot to congratulate Jake on his big break with the Yankees.

So congratulations, Jake.

So the Yankees are having a 24-year-old, Emmanuel Barberi.

I don't know if I said that correctly.

He's filling in for John Sterling this week.

And there's another person filling in for Susan Long.

Justin Shackle.

Yeah, he's been doing it a little bit.

This is like made out of the Jake factory.

Yeah, fellow Big Jay.

So congrats to him.

Made out of the Jake factory.

It's the first time, I think, since the 70s or 80s that both john or susan won't be there oh my god she's in george george's box of all the dramatic things roger is in george's box roger clemens he's coming out of retirement is that jimmy butler box too? Oh, my God. He's in George's sweet, sweet box.

All right.

Good luck to everyone this weekend.

Good luck to our water dogs who are not playing this weekend because they get the week off for the Pro Bowl.

Yes.

Yes.

The Cannons, I guess the player on the Cannons took offense to us

being like, we kicked their ass. Well, we did.
Which one? One of them liked a tweet And they're like this league And I was like Well we kicked their fucking ass Fact or fiction We beat the shit out of the Cannons Hey Cannons player We kicked your fucking ass dude Yeah I wonder which one it was There's a few There's a few AWLs on that I think it was a Cody Or a Kobe Well Brody Merrill just retired. Brody is a Brody, yeah, yeah.

All right, numbers.

Memes, you ever gotten this?

18.

No.

I'm going to go with one.

69.

12.

20.

9.

9.

9.

9.

All right, we'll see everyone on Monday.

Love you guys. I'm talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'd say it anyway.

Today is another day to find you shying away.

I'll be coming for your love again.

Shying away.

I'll be coming for your love again.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take me. Take me.
Take me. Take me.
Take me. Take me.
Take me on Thank you. It's better to be safe than something.
Thank you. Take on me.
Take on me. Take me.

Take on me.

I'll bring you.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take me on.
Take me on.

I'll take you on.

Take me on.

Take me on.

Take me on.

I'll take you on.