Howie Long, College Football Is Back, Trey Lance Traded + Mt Rushmore Of Fictional Animals

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Let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And there's lots of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's a part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take, today is Monday, August 28th.
Hank, say it. Say it.
Summer's over. Nope, football's back.
Real football. We watch real football.
And guess what? There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game. yeah that's true he doesn't have that saying he doesn't have the energy that you need you need somebody that you need michael irvin calling the first game of every season yeah not jason garrett

who would put himself to sleep. It really felt like week zero in Dublin.
Yeah, it was like all jacked up, ready to go. College football's back.
I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games.
They all they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.
I'd rather hear Al Gore commentate a football game than jason garrett but it's tough it is back it is an hartman looks great did you see how green the grass was in ireland it looks it was so that's all i wanted to see check that off the list it was not much of a game it was it was yeah it was it was watching notre dame uh hawaii being being pesky uh covering the spread and then in fitting fashion uh in the the returning Heisman Caleb Williams who probably the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it because it was Pac-12 Network. Yep.
I was watching it on a stream on my phone that was giving me all the viruses that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like hey this is why we're dying? Yeah, because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football. Well, you remember when Oklahoma played against Army a few years ago in that awesome game? You couldn't find it.
You had to go deep into the dark web to find it. Some guy streamed it.
The fun. Yeah, it was a guy streaming it, and then the chat that was popping off to the side.
I love those chats. Yes.
But yeah, football's back. It's officially back.
It's good to have games that mean something besides, obviously, the Commanders-Ravens game, which was the most important preseason game of all time. I'm looking forward to this weekend, though.
Yeah, week one. So can I run through some of the games that we have? You tell me how excited you are on the ball scale for the following games coming up.
Virginia at Tennessee. Yeah, sure.
That's a fucking whomping yeah maybe like two balls that's a two balls two balls uh ohio state at indiana uh that's a two and a half balls that's a whomping that's gonna be a whomping uh we've got west virginia at penn state yeah that's a that's a four and a half balls four yeah it's gonna be good one now the five balls yeah l five balls. Yeah.
LSU, Florida State. That's a five balls.
Six balls even. What about Utah, Florida? Utah, Florida.
That's a five balls. That's another five balls right there.
UMass Auburn. UMass won outright.
Sure. It looks fucking good.
I might do it again. You know what I'm really looking forward to? Friday night, Saturday morning, whenever they put out the graphic of how to watch every game, what channel it's going to be yeah it's like there it's the college football equivalent of when golf posts where the hole is going to be that's trick right yeah yeah yeah he does a great job with that I'm I'm just excited for meaningful football yeah it's great in college football I like how they set it up that college football gets I wish week zero like everyone should play week zero they should just move the season forward or back I it would be, a whole week where it should just be week zero should be all the games because it's nice to have college football get the spotlight for a couple weekends.
Wouldn't that be week one? Then you'd have week negative one. No, no, it'd be week zero, but everyone plays, and then week one.
What don't you understand? Why does only seven games played on week zero? Why can't everyone play on week zero? But I think what Hank's wondering is like, what do you do with the week zero games then? You move those a week earlier too. No, you could just have everyone play on week zero.
But then you move all the other games. Two games, week negative one.
Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.
What if you just do all the cupcakes on week zero so every team's still playing and you still get a lot of games? I don't care. I just want all the games right now.
That's really what I'm looking for. That's what I want.
We also have the Battle of Miami. Blaine Gabbert's brother, who plays for Miami of Ohio, said, we're the real Miami.
They're playing Miami. I like that.
Talk your shit. Talk your shit.
Yeah, I like it, too. They intentionally did that.
They were like, it'd be fun if Miami played against Miami, right? It's like the Giants get together with the Giants in the offseason, have a barbecue. Yeah.
First time you'll hear this. I think Miami's going to win.
Oh, God. I like Miami, Jake.
I'm taking Miami. R.I.P.
Bob Barker, because I really want to do a bump, bump, ba-dum. My 100% lock.
I will cut off a testicle if Miami doesn't win that game. There you go.
There you go. By the way, RIP Bob Barker, the GOAT.
Yeah. I'm sad.
I thought he was just never going to die because it felt like he trended like three times a year, and I was just ready for him to die. And I was like, oh, wait, he survived.
Then he actually did die. And he is, in my mind, the GOAT game show host.
Yeah. I know Trebek.
It was great. It was the GOAT game show.
Right. And he was the host for so long.
He was the perfect host for it. Just like the perfect amount of kind of horny, you know, made sure that everyone got their pets spayed and neutered, would get a little pissed off when people were dumb.
He just was the best. He best he was all class you felt like he was built in like a hollywood like a 1950s hollywood lab just everything about him he was perfect i love bob did you know that he was born on an indian reservation he was a member of the sioux tribe yes i didn't know that until after he passed away yes and this was a death that most people were probably prepared for because the second that it happened well he got the vaccine yeah so that's probably why so did the uh the head of wagner who died mysteriously in russia in an airplane he was vaxxed he was vaxxed look into it i've seen that movie why did that man how did bob barker first scene they ever said the bane one what yeah oh yeah that is the first scene how did bob barker die do they say I think yeah just old oh just of being Bob Barker okay yeah I think he was like 90 90 99 and a half 99 and a half that's yeah you hear this one did you did you see this one did you hear this one Bob Barker uh lived as close to 100 without going over that's a good like that yeah yeah that was that it's great because there was one guy who was very smart and actually tweeted that.

And then I just saw that tweet 7000 times by other people. That would be so deflating.
Like when you're 99 and a half, all you got to do is you just got to live to be 100. Yeah, he was just awesome.
I would tell people, don't don't publicize my death until it's I want people to think I died on my 100th birthday. Yeah.
But yeah, R.I.P. Bob Barker, one of the goats.
Yeah, he really was one of the goats. The other big news from this weekend, besides college football being back

and Bob Barker, one of the goats. Yeah, he really was one of the goats.
The other big news from this weekend besides college football being back and Bob Barker passing away was Trey Lance getting traded. He's a cowboy.
Trey Lance, I don't know. I think it's weird because I think John Lynch is such a good GM.
That's why he doesn't get criticized because find another team that trades three first-round picks and misses that badly on a quarterback and still is potentially a Super Bowl team like he's built such a great team that he could do that but that has to be one of the worst bus slash trades in in NFL history I absolutely loved RG three weighing and being like and now it's official Trey Lance by giving up three first round picks to trade up and take this quarterback. It's the worst draft bust of all time.
It's so funny hearing that from RG three, like because the trade is almost exactly the same as what the Redskins gave up with the Rams to move up and take RG three. Obviously like injuries is a little bit different.
Although I guess Trey Lance has been injured too. Yeah.
But yeah, you have to have a strong take about John Lynch and Cal Shanahan. I think they should be fired, Big Cat.
I think they should be fired. And then I think that they should be picked up by the Washington Commanders.
That's what I think. I guess it's a combo of John Lynch being so good at other parts of his job, drafting other players, and maybe a little bit of Zach Wilson going before him.

Yeah, takes a little bit of the sting off.

But it is such a bad trade.

And then the guys that the Dolphins used for those picks,

Jalen Waddell is who they drafted.

They used one of them to trade for Tyree Kill

and used one of them to trade for Bradley Chubb.

Pretty good.

Yeah, it's a good haul.

All for Trey Lance.

Got a good haul for that. But yeah, if you look at how they managed to carry on with Brock Purdy, they also drafted Brock Purdy.
Now, he was Mr. Irrelevant, so it was like every team, including the Niners, passed on Brock Purdy lot.
They should have drafted Brock Purdy number three. They should have.
It's actually, in a weird way, it's a credit to Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch overall that they were able to miss on this, and they can get a quarterback that's not as highly touted who fits in their system yeah so I I am I'm very much looking forward to though the first terrible interception Dak Prescott throws yes I will be clamoring I'll be standing on the table for Trey Lance which will be exactly two weeks from right now as we're sitting I can't wait the first Dak interception of the season is going to hit so different. Just show Trey Lance on the sideline.
Well, they did bring in Trey Lance. Oh, yeah.
The camera's going to be right on him after that first interception. One more thing about, I forgot, college football.
The new rule about first downs sucks. The fact that they keep the running clock sucks.
Yeah. It sucks.
It's stupid. It sucks.
Small sample size. Very small sample size but uh the average amount of plays per game last year were 68.7 obviously that's a very large sample size three hours and 27 minutes yesterday they played it was 63 plays a game so about five plays less and they shaved three minutes off the game well they just added more commercials they fucking It sucks.
They're ruining college football. Well, so it was a Navy game.
They run the ball quite a bit. Yeah, but they didn't, I mean, they didn't have the ball that much.
They fucking suck. Yeah, it was bad.
It was an ugly game. It was still football.
Yeah, and what I like about the college football rules being different from the NFL is you can watch it with casuals and then point out to them, actually, the clock stops on a first down until they get up. I hope they just change it back.
Did they change it for the end of the game? No, they changed it because games were going too long. Oh, no, no, no, no.
It does stop. Yeah.
At the end of the game, which is a rule that the NFL should adopt. Yes.
It would make games more exciting at the end. But yeah, they made it so that the games wouldn't last as long.
They shaved three minutes. Again, small sample size, but they just jam more commercials in there.
Yeah, it's tough. Also, I think it was on Friday, the news broke that Steven Strasburg retired.
Oh, you might be forgiven for not knowing that he wasn't retired. I just wanted to bring up some stats about his contract.
These are fun facts about his most recent contract. This is post-World Series.
Wait, he retired?

So they probably should have protected him more injury-wise.

So that we can go back.

Now we can officially litigate the Strasburg shutdown,

which filled like nine months of content on ESPN.

Should they shut him down?

I say yes.

I think it was the right decision to shut him down.

I agree.

They won a World Series.

But here's some fun facts about the contract that he got post-World Series, right?

So post-World Series, he was paid $460,000 per pitch. Whoa.
He was paid $2.6 million per out. Whoa.
$7.8 million per inning pitch. And he was paid $30.6 million per start.
Whoa. Probably the worst contract in baseball history.
Oh, man. That is significant.
Shout out Scott Boris. Yeah.
Shout out Strasburg for getting that money. Yeah, no fault of his own.
He can do whatever he wants, but it's staggering to think of $460,000 per pitch. They should really factor in those type of contracts when electing Hall of Famers.
Like, he's a Hall of Famer in my mind. Hall of Fame bag getter.
He won series he was like he did have moments of just pure like brilliance and then he cashed into an astronomical level why shouldn't he be in the hall of fame he played it well yeah it's the american dream yeah chase daniel should be in the hall of fame yeah why not the guy did it all making money mostly is what matters um yeah the only one who got who's better is Victor Hovland, who made $21.6 million in the last seven days. All while playing for Manchester City, too.
Yes. Pretty impressive.
He had a nice goal today. So $18 million, it was a hell of a win.
And 3.6 last Sunday. It looked like he was about to choke it away on, what was that, like the 16th hole? It got back to three strokes.
They put him away. Shout out.
Max came and tied for seventh. Yep.
With, like, everybody else. I think everybody tied for seventh.
Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Great job, Max. Top 10.
But, yeah, Victor Hovland. If we're just basing golf off the last two weekends, Victor Hovland is Tiger Woods 2001.
I don't know why. Ryder Cup.
He said, yeah, Ryder Cup's coming. I don't know why, though.
He was like, yeah, I'm going to go enjoy it. I'm going to go back home, hang with my friends and stuff.
It's like, dude, if you're playing that well, go find a game to play in. Yeah.
I just start taking people's money. Find a tournament.
There's got to be a tournament. Go win a member guest.
Yeah. Play wherever you can.
Is he on the road to Dubai? Probably. I think all roads lead to Dubai they do yeah that's so great yeah all right what else we had preseason week three I don't know I'm just ready for the season yeah who cares I really like I week three is now the new week four or the old week four yeah although I was watching yeah I was watching the Bears game and they pulled Justin Fields like in the red zone it was just made no sense.
But yeah, there were some starters playing sparingly, but I'm just ready for the season. Yeah.
What do we think about Rodgers? How he looks. He's going to be incredible.
Yeah. I mean, you catch the Jets game.
It's a great game. Yeah.
That's it. That's all you got.
You watch the whole game. No, I watched the first two drives, and then it was college football.

That's all you needed?

Well, you just want to watch, make sure he doesn't get hurt.

And then Salo was saying that the reason why he wanted to play was he wanted him to have some experience in MetLife.

Oh.

Like, get used to the stadium.

On the new turf.

On the new turf, yeah.

On the new non-injury turf.

Yeah, experience.

The home logo.

Not ripping up grass and tossing it in the air.

Yeah, the home logo.

That's a big one.

We also won USA 1 Little League World Series. That rocked.
Yeah, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
Let's do it, boys. Curse out.
Eat our dick. Well, no, because you're 12.
Curse out. Good game.
Yeah. Not really.
No. It was all-time announcer jinx.
Who was doing it? Steve Levy? Carl Ravitch. Carl Ravitch.
She was like, Curse out hasn't given up a home run all Little league world series next pitch walk off home run yeah rocked the little league world series is good to watch like the funny clips of when uh or when a player steps up to bat and it says a fun fact about them underneath yeah there was one that i saw last week and it said this guy his favorite sport is baseball oh i thought that was really interesting i I saw one of the kid was favorite emoji, the eyebrow raise. Oh.
Yeah. Not the double eyes? No, he's just doing some suspect things.
There was one that said, has a crush on his teacher, Mrs. Smith.
Sup, Mrs. Smith? That was a real one.
Yeah, that was a real one. That was a very real one.
It's real every year that I see it. Yeah.
All right. What else in the sports? I mean, this is like our last.
I feel like this is the last weekend of summer. Yeah.
Hank, would you like to say anything about you? You're noticeably very sunburned. Yeah.
You know, I was trying to get in the last few days of summer, but it's over. I had my last.
Oh, you're admitting it. You're admitting defeat.
So you're done playing golf for this entire summer. We've won the war.
Yeah. I played my last.
I played my last. The temperature dropped.
It felt so nice out. I played my last weekend rounds of golf for at entire summer we've won the war yeah i played my last temperature dropped it felt so nice i played my last weekend rounds of golf or at least till october what does that mean but you work during the week don't you you're all business now that's what i'm saying definitely no week golf and weekend golf i'm taking off till give me september wait you're not playing this week no more well that's work oh okay all But you are playing this week.
For work, yeah. And what's October? Is that the pro-am you're playing in? Yeah.
By that point, hopefully we're in a good enough spot where I can take a little bit of time on a Saturday and go play. So you're going to pedal to the metal for the next four-ish weeks.
No, for the next two days. All fall.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Well, I mean, it is – this does feel like – this was the last weekend where I was like, oh, I don't have anything, like, pressing that I have to be – you know, I had all the games on, but it didn't feel like it's going to feel next weekend.
It was preseason for us, too. Yeah.
Right. So it's – listen, even for the NBC people, they had Joe Montana.
They interviewed him. They said five-time Super Bowl winner.
So Steve Young's somewhere just punching air. Like, what the fuck is this about? God damn it.
Yeah, I don't know. Anything else? I mean, cut day? Cutting guys? I have one for who's back.
Okay, all right, all right, all right. So let's save for who's back.
We'll go to who's back. Kirk Cousins looks great.
Yeah, he does. Have you seen the mustache? He looks awesome.
He's got the mustache. It's part Johnny Cakes, part the dude from, what is it, Office Space.
I was like, you know what I'd do? Two chicks at once. Yeah, it sucks so much that we can't hate him anymore.
He's just a nice guy. I don't know if that mustache plays with Kirk, though.
That's not a nice guy mustache. I'm either going to kill you or blow you mustache.
It's a week three. It's a preseason week three mustache.
Like he's not going to go into the season. It's for fun.
Yeah, that was a fun dress up thing. It was probably like if you're watching, if that was on hard knocks, it was like the boys.
He lost a bet in the quarterback room. He probably got like too high of a score on the immaculate grid that he does every day after practice.
Yeah. Like you got to do manchu kurt yeah so that that he's definitely shaving that right it would be shocking if he came out there wearing that i would actually think differently about the vikings as an organization if he if he played with that all year better or worse i think better yeah i think better i think they'd have an edge to them they're 40 to 1 okay they're 40 to 1 i'm in on All right, let's do...'s do rated t for team my name is paul hayman special counsel to roman reigns and the bloodlines wise man step out of the ropes and onto the island in wwe 2k25 an epic wwe themed world ruled by the one and only roman reigns.
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It was messy. Oh, yeah.
Beat the Red Bulls, scored another, or no, yeah, an unbelievable goal, probably the craziest pass I've ever seen in the sport of football. Was it better than his pass in the World Cup final? I think it was.
Yeah. I mean, that was a great one.
You remember that one, Hank. Actually, that World Cup final was awesome.
It was the best game of soccer ever played. One of the most enjoyable sporting events I've watched in the last year, I think.
Yeah. But he's back, had the craziest pass I've ever seen, got it back, scored a goal.
A little give and go is the technical term. I might be a converted soccer guy because of Messi.
Dude, he am he's the target audience every time the clips come up i'm like how is he this good more like how is the mls this bad yeah but i love that they're just trotting like i love how they just you can do that you know who no one's talking about ronaldo we're playing in saudi arabians and no one nobody cares cash and checks and that's it no one cares not messy he's here for the love of the game messy is dominating and loves the game and the pink jerseys are awesome when you're winning yes it was very sad when miami was just getting the shit kicked out of him this is not miami of ohio this is inter miami but they were getting the shit kicked out of him for a long time in the pink jerseys what does it mean it means inside inside it's one of those stupid MLS things where. Football club.
Yeah. Where they try to copy.
Yeah. Sporting.
KC. Yeah.
DC United. You know, it's just one team.
Football team. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
No, it's just stupid. Good one, Hank.
It's dumb. They just.
Oh, Real Salt Lake is my favorite one. Oh, yeah.
What the fuck? Come on.

They're just trying to sound cosmopolitan.

But yeah, Miami, when they're winning, those pink jerseys are sick.

How sick would it be if the MLS just named every single team after a breed of dog?

That'd be great.

That would be awesome.

Shout out our water dogs, by the way.

Incredible comeback.

Three seed.

Three seed?

Three seed.

I like that.

No one expected anything from us.

No one's talking about the water dogs.

Not even us. It's just crickets.
Yeah. Okay.
That's your who's back. Messy.
Yeah. And walk offs.
And walk offs. Why walk offs.
For the World Series. Yeah.
That was a sick home run. Peak of that kid's life.
Almost definitely. Well, he'll say when he has kids.
No, actually, I completely agree with you. There's no way.
This is the second. This is the best moment of my life after the walk off.
But until then, I don't know what you could do. No, there's nothing.
There's nothing you can do for the first time. I'm sure he's dude.
You think he's seen boobs? You kidding me? I don't know. That that is he will never.
He has peaked. He's peaked.
What? What, Hank? No, I just they're 12 year oldsyear-olds, so I'm not going to go there. Well, 12-year-olds can see boobs, too.

Something's on your mind, yeah.

Well, I'm sure, like, even the high school girls, they're in that kid's grade.

Like, anyone.

Any girl that's within a 10-year radius of that kid is like, oh, my God.

A high school senior is like that 12-year-old that just hit a walk-off home run.

So hot.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And he's just like, I want to hang with my boys.

Yeah.

I don't even know what this means yet.

It's the last year of innocence. 12 years old.
Yeah. Okay.
PFT. My who's back of the week is Donald Trump.
Yes. As a golfer.
Yes. Specifically as a golfer.
He's 6'3", 215, built out of basically iron. Pre-reported.
Well, we don't know. I believe it.
I actually did. I looked it up.
I looked up other athletes that are 6'3 and 215. So Trump is the same size as Lamar Jackson, Derek Carr, Jamal Murray, Kenny Pickett, Kevin White, your guy, Lou Dort, your other guy, and John Wall.
These are all the same body type as Donald Trump. I just like being able to pre-report.
I would like to pre-report my weight at all times now i'm pre-reporting that i'm also 6'3 yeah and i'm also 6'3 215 as as a golfer trump had a better weekend than victor hovland did so i'm gonna read this this is from is it truth this is a truth so you can't lie on it yeah it's true it's a truth it's a pact i am pleased to report for those that care that i just won the senior club championship. Must be over 50 years old at Bedminster Trump National Golf Club shooting a round of 67 shot of 67.
Now, some people will think that sounds low, but there is no hanky lanky. No hanky lanky guys.
I know we were about to accuse him of hanky lanky, but there was none. Hey, that would be Hank if he lost a little weight.
Yeah, it'd be hanky lanky. Yeah, as soon as you get you get into all business mode hanky lanky, but there was none.
And that would be Hank if he lost a little weight. Yeah, it'd be hanky lanky.

As soon as you get into all business mode, hanky lanky.

We need Hank.

Yeah, we need you on the basketball court.

Hanky lanky out there.

Stretch three.

There's no hanky. There's a lot of food out here.

I'm going to get fat.

That's a problem.

I walked on the golf course today.

You did?

Yeah.

Really?

You didn't take a cart?

Wow.

I burned something off.

Yeah.

That's tough. So is six pack coming soon? Yeah, in the winter.
Oh, okay. Cool.
Many people watch, plus I'm surrounded by secret service agents. Not much you can do, even if you wanted to, and I don't.
For some reason, I am just a good golfer slash athlete. I have won many club championships, and it is always a great honor.
I love it. So, Shot 67.
Did you see he followed up too? Because people were like, this is fake. He followed up with another true social was like, here's the, uh, the head groundskeeper at this club.
Call him if you have any questions. He just put the guy's phone number on the internet.
Really? Yeah. You want to call him? Yeah, we can.
I got to try to find it. Yeah.
Cause I, I think I think that it was a... I think he's lying about the 67.
I actually do. I think it's more like a 65.
Trump. But he's being very humble.
How mad do you think the guy that came? Or do you think the people that play in that tournament just know? Yeah. If you enter a golf tournament against...
That's probably a really, really nice club course. Yeah.
People paying there probably pay a lot of money.

If you're playing against Trump or Kim Jong-un,

you're going to get your ass kicked.

They should do the match, Donald Trump versus Kim Jong-un.

Did he have like 11 hole-in-ones?

Yeah. 18.

He shot an 18?

No, I think it was like 12 holes-in-one.

Let's not get crazy here.

It was sick, yeah.

Jake, you'll probably put that on your scorecard soon. He pulled a Jake.
Kim. Kim Jong Jake.
Listen, no hanky-lanky with my stuff, though. Yeah.
11 holes in one. Yeah.
38 under. The only advice in the world is just.
38 under? Yeah. That's pretty good.
I mean, tell me that you wouldn't tune in to watch that match. Oh, that would be best to tell you.
Okay, here it is. Do you want to call it? Yeah, let's call it.
All right. It's here.99-6156.
Mickey. Mickey Gallagher.
That's a great name. Mickey Gallagher.
Okay. He's the head golf club.
Sorry, Mr. Callfart.
Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I promise you I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.
Have a great day. The mailbox is full.
Oh, too many people. He's going to be so pissed.
So bad. Like, I remember when Billy put my phone number out there and how mad I was for like three days.
Yeah. This is at least twice as bad.
Way worse. When Donald Trump tweets out your phone number.
Oh, man. You're fucked.
Yeah. But shocker, Rick Riley says that it wasn't actually 67.
Oh, don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86.
Great journalism, Rick. Way to get to the bottom of this one.
Jesus, come on, Rick. He said the caddies threw his ball 80 yards down the fairways and took it out of bunkers.
Partners swatted all his putts away once on the green. Members are pissed.
It's on you if you're mad at Donald Trump for beating you in golf. He's the best golfer in the United States States that rules if you have your caddies throwing the ball down the fairway for you I'm cool with that, that's fucking awesome okay, my who's back is Herm Edwards being a fraud because Arizona State has a bull ban Herm Edwards was at Arizona State wait, wait, Arizona State self-imposed a.
Self-imposed a bull band. What's different between that and what they've been doing unintentionally every offseason for the last 15 years? Yes, that's true.
That's a good point. But, yeah, he was at Arizona State, got fired.
Is he back on ESPN? He's probably doing some hits, yeah. Probably back on ESPN, probably talking about, like, character and the young man, and, like, he is back on ESPN.
He joined last season, so. So, yeah, so he's on ESPN, probably talking about character and the young men.
He is back on ESPN. He joined last season.
So, yeah. So, he's on ESPN giving speeches about upstanding character and doing the right thing.
And he just left this mess in his past. So, he's a total fraud.
I mean, that's what Herm Edwards is best at, though. Just talking about young men.
Yeah. And how important it is to develop young men.
Still the best is when he got the jersey and he couldn't believe how small it was yeah he's like what the fuck is this yeah it turns out didn't work out and he's left uh a nice little fire behind for them to deal with yeah it is a brilliant strategy by arizona state being like hey i know there's a lot of expectations on us this year we will not be playing in a bowl game. Don't buy those tickets yet.
The 20 seniors were very upset.

Yeah.

They're like, fuck, we really thought this was the year.

Yeah.

Arizona State's been decent at times.

They've had a couple flashes. They had that big win against Oregon, Justin Herbert.

Remember that one?

Brock Osweiler.

Notre Dame.

Notre Dame.

Oh, that was when we went there.

I burned couches.

Yeah.

Went to the weirdest bar ever.

We went to a bar in Tempe for the Notre Dame-Arizona State game, and it was like a legit club that just like for the whole game was just music blasting with the biggest game they'd played in like a decade. And then every time they scored a touchdown, it would just be CO2 cannons.
CO2 cannons, everything. It was so Arizona State.
That's perfect. It was awesome.
I can't really make fun of Arizona State because their college experience is better than pretty much everyone's college experience besides maybe Arizona. I wish that I had gone to Arizona State.
I stayed out with some kids that were there, and we went out. They were burning couches.
Do you think Gronk unintentionally went to Arizona? Woke up in a dorm that had a pool. I woke up and walked outside the balcony.
I was like, this is the greatest college of all time. Yeah.
I feel like there's a good chance that Rob Gronkowski meant to go to Arizona State. He might have.
And he accidentally went to Arizona. He might have.
He's like, oh, shit. I have to buy a book for one of my classes.
Yeah. I mean, both schools, just fake life.
Incredible. Yeah.
Incredible place to go to college. Okay, Jake.
My who's back is B's. Oh, no.
Orioles Rockies had a B delay today. Oh, shit.
I love a good B delay. It's the best.
There's one every year. Dude.
This crushed the over on when the B delay usually is. Because I feel like it's usually early June we get a B delay.
Yeah. And I'm pretty sure the Orioles, Batista, didn't he get hurt? He tears UCLA or something.

I said UCLA again.

Did that two times on Friday.

He tours UCLA?

Yeah, I keep saying UCLA instead of UCLA.

I just start the letters, and I can't stop them.

Yeah, it's just – the train just goes off to track.

Sportsbrain.

UCLA.

He tours UCLA?

UCLA injury.

I'm not seeing.

Okay, that's bad. That's very bad.
I feel bad I'm not seeing. Okay.
That's bad.

That's very bad.

I feel bad for Orioles fans and myself.

Yeah, that sucks.

But yeah, be delay.

That rules.

Yeah, man.

Can't believe this is going to be about playoff baseball in like a month.

Oh, yeah.

Your Cubs are looking pretty good.

Dude.

The Cubs are beyond frisky.

I need them to get in there. Well, they've been playing some bad teams.
But they did their work. They did their work.
You play who you play. Yep.
We have five weeks left in dingers only. And PFT is most likely.
What's the bottom? Just give us the bottom three. Don't say most likely, Jake.
Give them the bottom three numbers. I'm like the athletics.
I've got that E eliminated from contention next to me. Billy 96, Hank 95, PFT 58.

Oh, I'm four for last?

You got 106.

Damn, I've been on a hot streak ever since I got that fucking P-file off.

Max's guy, Ty France, got hit five times this week,

so he's now winning the league by 42 points.

Damn it.

Diggers only.

First rule.

Fuck.

Max.

I miss Max.

Miss that big oaf.

Do you think he's listening? No. Yeah Yeah You think so? You think so? Yeah Say something nice about Max If he's listening I miss him That actually is very nice I do miss him I miss his presence He grows He grows a great beard He does That he desperately needs to have at all times Yes He's holding on for dear life He wears a great high bun because he has long hair that he never wears down.
Yeah. Yeah.
His hair is actually best on the podcast. His hair is the best on the podcast.
He's a great carpool partner. We carpool to this office.
Is he? Yeah. Actually, no, I've carpooled with Max before.
We've had good talks. What does he play? What kind of music does he play? Oh, Uber carpool.
Oh, you guys get in the same Uber? Yeah. Actually, I'm going to take it back because I carpooled with him like in maybe December, and he talked me into a future on Villanova

that they didn't even make the tournament.

So I'm taking that back.

Carpooling with Max literally cost me money.

It's like, oh, dude, once we get this guy back and this guy back,

oh, it's going to be incredible.

So, yeah, I miss Max.

All right.

Should we get to our interview?

Let's do it.

Howie Long, incredible interview. Oh, I have a question for Hank.
Explain it. Hank explains it all.
What happened to Drake's album? Oh, yeah. For all the dogs, right? Also, Hank, you know you're doing a PowerPoint soon? When is that? Thursday.
Thursday. Me, Max, and Hank each have a portion.
About what? I have to explain the new NFL rules. We assigned it to you when you were gone football math and i think max has to do i'll do the i guess max won't be here so if one of you guys want to substitute or can double up max's uh same face memes different place memes you got to do that now same face different place all right so memes will do that and then i'm gonna write a quiz for you now i'm explaining new rules okay yes so be ready't have to do anything.
You just got to bring your brain. But more importantly, tell me about for all the dogs.
He announced the album, put out the artwork, said it was coming soon. Yeah.
Didn't say when. And then he put out like a, there was a new, he has an OVO sound radio and they put out a new episode on Friday night.
So everyone was reporting that that's when it was dropping. Stop being in the table.
I'm not being in the table. Just talk with my hands.
But he's still on tour, so I wanted his concerts. He was like, I said it's coming out.
It's coming out soon, but I'm still doing these shows. Basically, once he's done with his tour, it's going to come out.
Wait, when's his tour over? I don't know. I was told the album was coming out last Friday.
That's what I thought, too. Since when did they start doing tours that just never end? Is this Tom Segura? Did he do this? Well, no, it's just nice.
You don't actually have to be on tour anymore. You can just fly into a town.
Taylor Swift got didn't she extend her tour to 2024? By like three years. Yeah, that's crazy.
She's a terrorist. That's nuts.
Yeah. Fuck.
All right. So Drake, when is it coming? When the tour ends.

I don't know when that is.

Drop the album, coward.

Come on, do it.

Well, it says it's a summer album.

Summer's almost over.

Summer is over, Drake.

Summer's over, Hank.

Admit it.

Summer's over. If I'm just basing it off the cover art, I think it's going to be a banger.

Yeah, I hope it's a rap album.

How mad do you get when summer ends knowing how happy I am?

I get very sad, but I said this other day The difference between summer ending When you are a child versus adult Like when you're a child and summer's over It is legitimately depressing Yes the back to school commercials Instant triggering thought And just knowing you have nine months of hell before you can have summer again. At least in the fall, it's like I'd rather be in summer, but the fall is fun too.
Maybe the most depressing moment of every summer is when your mom would take you to Old Navy. Just be like, got to get a couple new fits.
Let me get a long sleeve with a line across it, and then another long sleeve with a line across it. I'm ready to go.
And then if you're a parent, there's no bigger difference at all because you're so excited about back to school. Parents fucking love back to school.
They couldn't wait to get rid of your stinking ass. They were so happy.
You left their house, and they're like, thank God that piece of shit's no longer here. Get ready to read, buddy.
They were so happy to not have to deal with your bullshit. Yes.
Yeah, having to read an entire book the last three days before school starts. Oh, shit.
I forgot about the book. Summer reading.
Summer reading project, yeah. Oh, man.
Shout out Sparknotes. Dude.
Oh, Jake. Oh, wow, Jake.
So you're admitting to not short-dust, Jake. It's not cheating.
It's using a resource. It is.

Did you read the book

or just Sparknotes?

Oh, Jake probably did both.

No.

Depends.

You cheated.

No, it's not cheating.

Now that I'm like

living it all over

with my kids,

I just like school sucks.

It fucking sucks.

School sucks.

You have to get up

so early to go to school.

And it's just

all you got to do

is sit there

and just fucking learn shit and they call on you And you have to do homework God did Well they called on you You didn't do the homework Yeah no I wasn't active I was active in class I just you know I just like to mess around with my friends Yeah active in what way Like I was always good Like some people were shy Or like didn't want to talk Like I was always down to do the reading I would just throw my hands up for answers. If they were, what do you think about this? And I would just throw something out there just to participate, even if it was wrong.
Homework, not good. Test, not good.
Oh, test sucks. Behavior, not good.
Test anxiety is the worst. Dude, doing projects, science projects.
Oh, man. But I was active.
You remember that bullshit that they made you learn math? useless dude math science useless yeah history oh dude i i was so bad at math i never even i've never been in the same room as calculus no never came close i took algebra two twice i got i got a worse grade the second time that i took it than the first time i just kept on bumping myself down to lower math i took algebra in college's when I knew it wasn't for me. I took one day of calculus, walked out, and then they're like, you're going to be in algebra.
And I was like, I've taken algebra three times. You made it farther than me.
I literally have never been in the same room as calculus. We've never met.
I never want to be one of them. Why would you ever need calculus to do anything? For anything.
No. The best part was they would give you the graphing calculator, the TI ti-82 and then you just spend your entire time playing drug wars on it yeah and the uh what's the asteroid game that that one rocked yeah yeah that calculator was so fucking yeah it was a tank expensive too a couple hundred bucks yeah yeah uh okay good good uh talking drake yeah well i mean there's probably like a 16 year old AWL right now who's listening to this part

being like fuck

yeah

fuck my life

it's not just you

school sucks

Charlie Woods

school sucks

and also you know what

Charlie

well school probably

doesn't suck for him

because he probably just

probably just goes to golf school

well he's probably

super smart

he's probably the smartest

kid ever

he probably teaches

the calculus class

yeah

like teacher let me

handle this

yeah no this is

it's good

we're keeping the young

AWLs humble

there's a lot of talk

about us getting old

guess what

So, let's go. yeah like teacher let me handle this uh yeah no this is uh it's good we're keeping the young awls humble there's a lot of talk about us getting old guess what i'd rather be me than you right now bitches i didn't really do it again about my education but i feel like going back to college is the best what do you mean being the old not being the old person in college that guy was weird no but like the random old lady going back to college in your four years of college like yes yes 100 this week oh that was the welcome week where you just like drink for an entire week get fucked up the only bad part about going back to college is when you maybe you uh schedule yourself for an early-ish morning class on a friday never in the first week you're like well this was a mistake i need to i need to change up my entire degree platform that i have right now so i don't have to so i can still get drunk on a thursday night my first semester i had friday classes not a single semester after i take a single friday class i would literally like tuesdays and thursdays i would go to like i'd work like a legit like eight to seven job i just go to all my classes and then just be done there was one year that i tried to set it up where i had every single class.
And I mean literally every class, only Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yeah.
So I'd have a four-day weekend. And I tried to do it my very first Tuesday in school.
I had to sprint around campus. Yeah.
And it was physically impossible for me to make all those classes. So at the end of the day, I probably had like 25,000 steps just getting around campus.
And I just couldn't do it i was like fuck i give up i'll do i'll do monday wednesday class the problem is that you should have just knocked onto the class that's what i started doing i did the all the two i loaded up tuesday and thursday and then just stopped going to half of them yeah and read the book for that one weekend though having having a four-day weekend was pretty awesome that's a little tip for all the college students going back to college right now uh your professors are lazy pieces of shit that have tenure so either go to the class or read the book don't do both that's it like all the answers will be either if you go to the class and listen and take notes you're good and if you don't just read every book they assign and then you're good you can probably take a shitload of zoom classes too oh yeah and then just like turn your computer on go away that's true yeah you definitely do that yeah um all right howie long incredible interview with howie long been a long time we want him on and is brought to you by our friends of coors light coors light fall doesn't have to be a buzzkill to your summer chill wow perfect ad reads reading hank's mind right now coors light helps you find moments to unwind. Big work presentation, follow it with a happy hour, some friends, and a cold Coors Light.
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CoorsLite.com slash take. Get it there or delivered straight to your door which is their Instacart okay here he is Howie Long okay we now welcome on a very very very special guest it is someone we've wanted to have on for a very long time we're completing the uh long family trilogy uh it is howie long hall of famer super bowl champ uh father of three great great men and uh two of them who have become our very good friends in chris and kyle uh let's start with this i mean thank you for coming on we we really like we I remember when we first started hanging

out with Kyle and Chris it was probably like a decade ago we're like hey when were you gonna get Howie on when were you gonna get Howie on and now you're here and we couldn't be more excited I I think they were frightened for me uh Kyle was Kyle just they both love you guys and I To be honest, I'm not a podcast watcher.

Diane does play their podcast as she's walking around the house doing whatever she does around the house and uh you know periodically i just go oh my god did they say that oh you can't do that you know i'm more buttoned up. I think, you know, i'm now 63 so uh i'm a little bit different but they were excited that i was coming on and uh they love you guys and you know they both had different approaches chris was i know chris threatened you guys and kyle said have fun yeah and that's the difference between chris and kyle chris and Kyle Chris and Kyle are two totally different guys.
Same house, same love, same rules, just came out different. Yeah, you probably don't know this, and I think a lot of our listeners might not even know this, but I think you actually have been on this show before.
I think when we interviewed Chris, there was one point where you walked in the room and we screamed a question at you. And I think you might have said something and walked out.
You're doing a drive by. You're counting a drive by.
Chris has done a lot of stuff over the years, as you can imagine. So, you know, I know they talk about your show a lot.
Yeah, cool. And I listened to a little bit earlier today.
You were talking, I think it was yesterday or the day before, with Daryl Johnson. Oh, okay, good.
I was going to say, it's very hit or miss when you listen to an episode where it's like you could get a really good interview and then you could get us talking about something completely different that you might have been like, what the hell are these guys talking about? Yeah, and listen, I've been at it for 43 years now, including the Raiders, and this is the 33rd of Fox. So anything you want to talk about, we can talk about.
We can talk about Oakland, Los Angeles, Las Vegas. We can talk about the boys.
We can talk about Villanova, which is a good plug for them. Yeah.
I got an easy one to start out with. Who do you love more, Chris or Kyle? I told them at the wedding because Howie just got married up here in Montana.
And I said, look, guys, I pulled both of them aside. I said, look, Howie's getting married.
and this is all about Howie just got married up here in Montana. And I said, look, guys, you know, I pulled both of them aside.
I said, look, how he's getting married and this is all about Howie. And I was speaking at the wedding and I said, look, I'm going to, I'm going to really talk.
I know you guys keep score, but I'm going to, I'm going to really talk Howie up. And I started out with, you know, a lot of people ask why I waited to name our third child Howie.
And I said, well, you know, it's easy because he's our favorite. You know, he's the best athlete in the family.
He's really just our favorite. And I want to just get that out now after all these years.
You know, they took it pretty well. They were good about it.
I love that. I love that you looked at Chris when he was born.
You're like, no, not yet. Not a Howie.
Not yet. Look at Kyle.
You know, the funny thing about Chris when Chris was born, it's something people don't know. I had 11 fingers when I was born.
I had an extra pinky finger on my right hand. And so here we are at the hospital in Santa Monica., you know, Diana just delivered Chris and the doctors.
You could see they were kind of, you know, they take the baby and they take Chris over and wipe him down. And I can see there's something going on.
And, you know, your biggest concern always as a parent is health. And, you know,

that's number one, you know, gender, whatever it is, it is as long as it looks healthy, baby,

we're, we're blessed. Um, and Chris had, Chris had the 11th finger, uh, and they tie it off.

There's no cartilage and, you know, it ends up kind of dying off and they, they cut it off, but,

uh, we have that in common. Wow.
That's such a good tight end yeah you gotta leave that yeah you gotta leave that finger i i did want to start with uh villanova and we could go through your whole career because it's an incredible career but villanova obviously not known for football what was the decision uh with villanova and you also boxed at Villanova you are

like probably like the toughest guy in the world uh but what from Charlestown why'd you go why'd you end up going to Villanova um it's a complicated story um I left my my dad left when I was probably about nine eight or or nine. He grew up in it.
And these are this is a story that, you know, I think a lot of people don't know. But my dad grew up in an orphanage from birth to 18 years old.
He was six, seven to 55 and, you know, never played sports. And obviously, when you're growing up in an orphanage and at 18, they give you the option of going into the military or staying until what was then the legal age, 21.
He goes out and joins the army and they put him in the Alaskan ski patrol, throw some head 220s on him and shove him down the freaking mountain. I mean, that was his military experience.
He's in the Alaskan ski patrol. Gets married to my mom.
And, you know, we, my sister and I, and we were also separated when I was probably nine. I grew up in a few different households.
I had the good fortune of having really, really great extended family. It was a classic, you know, Boston Irish Catholic, Charlestown kind of neighborhood family.
And it started with my grandmother, who was who was a widow. And, you know, she worked at Hood's Milk.
And my uncles worked at either the projects or Hood's Milk. And, you know, at some point, I each uncle had a specific hand and kind of helping to raise me, but specifically my Uncle Mike and Edie and my grandmother, and particularly my grandmother.
And desegregation hit Boston's school system, and I hadn't played sports until then. This was ninth grade.
We played in the street. It was a dead-end street, Albion Place, and at the bottom

of the street was the L train. You went out, you played, you played, you did everything.
Hockey, basketball, football, anything. It was on Rutherford Avenue on a patch of grass and by Hood's Milk.
We never played organized sports, but when that whole desegregation thing hit and the blessing riots and all that,

my grandmother asked my uncle Billy and Aunt Ada to take me. And he was the first relative.
He was then working, I think, at the D Street Project in South Boston. He took me in for three years and a high school coach walking down the hallway named Dick Corbin, who ended up coaching at Harvard with Joe Restek Sr.,

ended up kind of changing my life when he said,

hey, who are you and do you want to go out for the football team?

And I was 14 years old and I had started school early.

Why, I don't know.

But I ended up as a 17-year-old freshman at Villanova.

But long story short, I had two scholarship offers. I had Boston College and I had Villanova.
And for a couple of reasons, a challenging neighborhood. I wasn't a particularly tough young kid.
I didn't really figure it out until I was about 16, 17. And she had made the decision in great part because she wanted me to get out of the neighborhood and go down to Villanova.
And I was recruited by a guy named Bob Capone, who was a coach there. And I went there with the clothes on my back.
It was a challenge academically. It was a challenge socially.
It was a challenge, certainly financially. I never never left i was there thanksgiving christmas you know spring break i didn't know what spring break was i mean you have no money where are you gonna go on spring break i went to summer school there every summer so i lived in the dorm and i still see the visual of the dorm with you know sydney Marie, who's a runner from Africa and, you know, another runner from Ireland, and it were like five lights on the dorm at Christmas.
And, you know, I was one of those rooms and Villanova was the best experience. I met my wife there.
She was a classics major. I wasn't, uh, Greek and Latin.
So yeah. And I was in survival mode.
And ironically enough, I played with a guy named Joe Restick who ended up going to Notre Dame and captaining Notre Dame. You see his name in Rudy, in the movie Rudy, when he's checking the list, his dad was Joe Restick senior who coached at Harvard for 20 some odd years.
Again, you come to a lot of forks in the road in your life. And the interesting thing was a player either got hurt or pulled out of the Blueberry game, which they don't play anymore down in Alabama on Christmas Day.
And Joe Rustic was on the selection committee and joe uh you know put my name forward you know ironically enough i i was on the north team and my coach was a guy named jimmy johnson from oklahoma state and i end up winning the mvp uh you know kind of like kind of like kyle's story I mean, only Kyle was more well known coming out of high school and college so I win the MVP and the next thing I know they have pro days at big schools Oklahoma, Texas, Florida they have pro day and all the scouts come and I ran. And I ran 35 times.
I ran in the snow. I ran in the rain.
I ran on the front lawn of my dorm and sneakers were, you know, a scout was just coming by and checking a box. No one really, you know, in my mind had me pegged as, and I certainly didn't think I was going to be drafted in the second round.
So, you know, a guy named Earl Leggett comes up, defensive line coach, the same coach that brought up Michael Strahan and a great coach. I think he's, you know, as good a defensive line coach as I've, you know, could ever imagine in the NFL.
He built you from the ground up. And the prototype was a guy from a small school, didn't have, you know, kind of a formulated plan, build it from the ground up, get in your

stance, take the first step, you know, this is how you get off the ball, the whole thing. And they draft me in the second round.
And I tell the boys and they laugh. My contract was 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88 in an option year.

Ron Wolfe, who went on to, you know, Green Bay Packer fame and, you know, is in the Hall of Fame, GM, great talent evaluator. He was part of the group that drafted me in the second round.
So I was, you know, I bought a used Coupe de Ville. uh i Oakland up on the map.
I bought a used Coupe de Ville in Tucson, Arizona from the only agent that would even speak to me. And he was used car salesman.
I think his name was Bernie Perlon and drove out to Oakland and never looked back and lived with a guy by the name of Cedric Hardman. My rookie year played for the Niners was a great player with the Niners.

And ironically enough,

it was Joe Green's roommate in college at North Texas state.

And we played them that year.

And Joe came over to dinner in our little house in Alameda.

And it was,

you know,

you're living the life,

man.

My check was $1,007 after taxes.

So then my sons get drafted and they can buy me.

Yeah, that's an incredible – I mean, the whole story is incredible.

Do you think about the moment when this guy, your high school coach,

just sees you walking down the hallway and it's like –

maybe someone else would have seen your size and been like,

hey, let's get this kid in football.

But like these sliding door moments, it feels like you had so many to get to that point

and have a Hall of Fame career.

I'd say there's no way.

Whether it's Earl Leggett, it's the Blue-Grey game, it's Dick Corbin,

who was my high school coach, Bob Capone at Villanova.

I think of Sister Mary Margaret Cribben, who was, you know, someone who is, you know, being an athlete, you know, I think at places, you know, it's human nature for a professor at a Villanova or University of Virginia or wherever to kind of look at an athlete in a different light. And certainly, hey, listen, when you go in that class your freshman year,

and it's a philosophy class, and the question is, if a cow eats the daisy, does the daisy then become the cow, or does the cow become the daisy? I turned to the guy next to me and said, I'm flunking this person class. I have no shot.
So it was a challenge, you know, and there were a lot of forks in the road. And I've always had somebody at each fork that, you know, and it's like Fox, you know, I retire.
We want to raise the boys in Virginia. We looked around the country, looked everywhere, Oregon to Cape Cod.
And, you know, Diane found this 65 acre parcel with an old 1846 Georgian five minutes from the University of Virginia. You know, at that time, there's no internet, there's no, you know, cell phones or like, you know, a briefcase, you know, you're really kind of left to your own kind of research.
And, you know, you do Chamber of Commerce, you're looking at weather, you're looking at crime, you're looking at change of season, you're looking at proximity to airport, you're looking at university town, maybe. And it came down to Chapel Hill and Charlottesville, and she found an old Georgian house.
And we restored it. And yet again, another fork in the road.
And, you know, I'd like to say it was a brilliant decision, but we just got lucky and the boys loved Virginia and we had a great time there. And then I retire.
And I, you know, LA at that time, there were floods, there were fires, there was the riots, the whole thing. And it was like, you know, God is sending, you know, a message.
Get out of L.A. because it was all happening.
It all kind of happened at the same time. And we decided we're going to raise the boys somewhere else.
And we we decided to pick up and move to Virginia. You know, I'm exaggerating, but we moved to Virginia on a Friday.
I got a job at Fox on Monday. That's crazy.
So now I'm one, we're raising boys on an opposite coast from where I'm working. I'm flying out on Friday, and I'm driving up to Dulles, and it's two hours plus up to Dulles up there, And you take a flight and you pray the flight's good.
And you go out and do the show. And, you know, you think to yourself, well, there was a show that was going to be on TNT and it was more money.
And here we had this Fox thing, which was a blank sheet of paper, literally a blank sheet of paper. You know, it was Fox Sport at that point.
And David Hill and Ed Gorin and Scotty Ackerson and that whole kind of group at the beginning and Terry and Jimmy and JB, who was great. And then later on, we added Kurt, we added Michael Strahan, who couldn't have computer generated a better guy to be on the show.

You don't think when you're doing that, you're... Kurt, we added Michael Strahan, who couldn't have computer generated a better guy to be on the show.

You don't think when you're doing that, this is year 30.

When I started there, Chris was, I think, nine.

Kyle was five.

Howie was four.

So my kids grew up with, Terry's kind of the, he's the Shreveport, Louisiana version of Uncle Buck. The movie Uncle Buck.
You know, where all the stuff that, you know, you can't, you don't want him to do, he does with your kids. Yeah.
You know, and he was great. I mean, they love Terry and Terry loves kids and it's been a great run.
But did I expect 30 years of doing it? And I coached high school football for eight years back there. I coached Little League baseball.
I kept the book. In Little League, someone's crying in between innings every inning.
And, you know, you're part bookkeeper. You're part, you know, I don't know what, psychologist.
You know's it's a challenge. But to be a part of, you know, coaching them for eight years, all the boys in the league and high school football was important to me.
And Fox was a network that would allow me to do that. And I made that a priority.
And they they certainly that and uh were very supportive and then ironically enough you fast forward here the nine-year-old is playing in an nfc championship game or kyle's playing you know i go to that game st louis is playing you know uh st louis is playing the bears and kyle decides he's gonna you know get in a barroom brawl. And it was kind of an awkward moment.
But there have been some great moments where I remember when Philly was in the NFC championship game in Philly. And you've got to remember, Terry's like an uncle to the boys.
So I'm sitting at the desk and our grandson, Waylon, who's now seven, was, I don't know exactly how old he was then, maybe three or two and a half or three. And he comes by the set and I put him up on my lap and we're facing the crowd.
And behind me is the stage where Terry's presenting the trophy for the NFC championship game and he's interviewing Chris and he has a dog mask on I mean you know and I've got I've got I've got Waylon in my lap and we're looking at the monitor and seeing this and it was such a surreal moment you know I I just I I really have to try to you know whether it's Kyle's Kyle with the Pro Bowls and Chris with the two Super Bowls and you know we cover a lot of those games we did the Super Bowl we're down 28-3 I say we you know you know the Patriots are down to 23 mean, Chris had a decision to make when he left St. Louis.
And my thought process was, okay, so why are you playing? And, you know, you have money. Why are you playing? And he said to win, to want to win a championship.
And I said, well, the guy in Newland has gone on x number of times they've

been in the championship x number of times they've been in this many super bowls they've won x number of super bowls he really liked atlanta he liked the coach who's now the defense coordinator in dallas and he he really liked his his conversations with them but i you know i said new england new England he he finally decides to go to new england and uh and here we are covering the game and it's the first half and then it's the third quarter and i'm standing next to terry on the sideline and they're down 28 to 3 and i'm the worst freaking dad in the world because i have pushed my son to new england and the team he liked is up 28 to three and this is going to be a blowout. Wow.
And Terry said to me, Terry said to me in like, you know, it's like, call it what you want. You know what I mean? He's a savant.
He just said, don't worry, little buddy calls me little buddy. Why? I don't know.
Little buddy, Tom's going to throw it all around the yard. It's going to be the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.
There it is. This is genius.
Terry Bradshaw, certified genius. Yes.
First reported by Allie Long. You said your dad was in the Alaskan Ski Patrol.
That's pretty tough. Don't discount yourself, though, because you flew out of Dulles Airport every single week for I don't know how many years.
That's harder. That's harder than being on top of a mountain in Alaska.
That's, in my opinion, the worst airport to fly out of. I knew every tree between Charlottesville and Dulles Airport.
Not Dulles. It's just Dulles became Culpeper.
I don't know if you know the area. I'm from Herndon.
There was nothing between between culpeper and and dulles airport now it's just merged on down so yeah it was it was a challenge to do that travel i think year i want to say 17 or 16 we bought a parcel out in arizona north north scottsdale and we built a house out there. So my travel now is much easier.
I do one hour flight home. I could be home at seven o'clock on a Sunday night.
So I want to go back to the Raiders. When you first, you get drafted by the Raiders and you meet Al Davis for the first time.
What was that like? You know, I really wasn't really a historian of the game as a kid at villanova i mean i i didn't really think about the nfl diane and i both we laugh about this but it wasn't in my in my wheelhouse i didn't think about it i said you know i'm maybe i'll get with the team i remember and you know i've laughed about. When I went and worked out for the Eagles, Dick Vermeule was there.
And Dick was, Dick's the sweetheart of a guy, if you know Dick. He's a really nice, nice man.
And Dick thought he was helping me when he said, look, before a team cuts you, make sure they try you at offensive guard. And he actually said that.
And, you know, in his mind, I think he was, he was trying to help me. And I, the older I've gotten, the more I come to appreciate that.
And I sat next to him at the hall of fame this year and had a great conversation with him, just a good man. But I get to Oakland.
You got to remember Villanova has a priest on every floor, you know, and at that time the dorms were split up, you know, women didn't go in the dorm, you know, on after a certain time of day or, you know, whatever the rules were, there's no alcohol. It's a dry campus.
You walk in that locker room and guys are smoking Salem lights and playing cards. And, you know, it's it's the Oakland Raiders.
And the characters were larger than life. And, you know, the first day you're going against Art Schell and Gene Upshaw on pit drills.
And, you know, just a couple of months ago, I'm playing Delaware, you know, in front of 3000 people. So it was, it was a bit of a shock.
And thankfully, I survived my rookie year and got through it. Yeah.
So you're that Raiders team. First of all, you got the best compliment of anyone I think ever because Hunter S Thompson, I think, did a whole piece on that Raiders team that won the Super Bowl.
He called you the manliest man ever, which I don't think you can get a better compliment than that from Hunter S. Thompson, the manliest man ever, which I, you are, I can attest to that.
Did you spend some time with him? Was he, were you like when he was, when he was doing that piece with the Raiders? Cause I'm sure that like just seeing that Raiders team, all the characters and everyone involved, it was such an iconic team. It was an iconic team and it had great characters.
You know, the Lake Cliff Branch, all those people that you talk about, it's Ted Hendricks. Ted was the smartest player I ever played.
Ted could come in on a Monday morning after a long Sunday night and we'd pop up the video of the upcoming opponent. He called plays.
Lyle Alzado. Matt Millen, who is one of the great characters.
If you can, you you can you could pull up pull up matt millen howie long pat sullivan uh it's it's an image and when you see it on your screen you're going to go oh my god so what had happened there was we were playing new england in the playoffs out the coliseum yes you know we kind of kind of crapped the bed at the end, had a fumble or, you know, whatever, there was a special teams player, whatever it was. I mean, we, we all could have played better and we lose, but there was an article in the Boston Globe earlier in the week about how the Patriots never looked at vocal talent.
And, you know, he took great offense to it. And I didn't know who he was.
I mean, at that age, I didn't know who was in somebody's front office. I didn't know who he was.

At that age, I didn't know who was in somebody's front office.

I didn't know who was in our front office other than Ron Wolfe.

I didn't know what Ron Wolfe did.

I didn't know he was the GM because you didn't have titles with the Raiders.

This guy's walking him down the sideline yelling at me throughout the whole game.

I'm saying, why is there a drunk guy on their sideline? And, you know, I didn't know what the deal was. So now we're walking off and Matt and I would always walk off together.
And this guy, I could see the guy, you know, my head's on a swivel everywhere I go. So, you know, if I'm at a restaurant, I'm eyeing up who's the biggest threat.
You know, when I, when I'm walking off the field, my peripheral vision is, is keen. And I see this

guy coming towards me now. Now he's saying, Howie, Howie.
And it seems like he wants to

make friends and I'm just ignoring him. And he said, you know, Hey, Howie, you know, I said,

I just gave him a hand or whatever and started walking. And he said, you don't know who I am.
And I, I said, no, I don't know who you are. And I think I'm paraphrasing, but he said something like, I own the team and I, and, and then it dawned on me.
And I said something like, you know, unless your dad died last night, you don't own shit and he he extended his hand towards me and matt saw this and matt club well allegedly yeah i'm looking at the picture it's right after he allegedly allegedly punched the gm of the patriots in the face no he didn't he hit him with his helmet oh he hit him with his helmet the Miles Garrett

allegedly he allegedly punched the GM of the Patriots in the face. No, he didn't.
He hit him with his helmet. Oh, he hit him with his helmet.
The Miles Garrett. Yeah, allegedly.
Assault. Allegedly.
That's incredible. And, you know, I've seen him now later in years because he owned all the satellite trucks that broadcast the games.
That's his business. And, you know, they sold the Patriots.
And, you know, he's a nice guy. Seems like a nice guy.
And it was just, you know, heat of the moment. Those things happen.
But they generally don't happen with a civilian. You know, I mean, it's one thing you get in a fight at work.
Fights at work were, you know, you got in fights at work, you know, and that's kind of the way it was and it was you had the beat writer you had your three major networks and there's no you know there's no sports radio there's no you know internet there's no 5 000 shows talking about it jay glazer's not in your closet or under your bed yeah um you know there's nobody so things don't the building. Flights on planes, flights in the locker room, flights on the field.
Those things didn't happen. Plus, our facility was, we were an island unto ourselves.
The building was, nobody's in the building. There's nobody in the building.
I compare it to New England.

I remember one time I went up

and I was doing a story

on one of the Patriots.

I think maybe it was Junior Seau.

I think.

And, you know, Burge,

who's a gentleman who works

for the Patriots

and he's kind of Bill's right-hand guy,

said, you know, Bill wanted to invite you out to practice. So I go out to practice and it's the indoor bubble and name another practice where there's not one person, not one person, not friend of, not sponsor, not, there's not one person in the building other than me standing on the sideline.

And that reminded me of our building. Our building was like that.
Al was like that.

Al was larger than life. And he had a, he wore a cologne that, and the defensive line always

was way down, you know, on a secondary abbreviated field during individual period where we did warm-ups and did individual drills. And he'd walk out of the building and you could smell that perfume.
And I'm telling you, every coach was parkered up immediately because he was at every practice. Yeah.
he was brilliant football mind uh good boss i remember one time he walked up to me i'm sitting on my helmet at practice and he said ah long you think you're fucking tough and i'm saying to myself this does he think he can kick my ass yeah yeah howie long is being brought to you by our great friends at Sport Clips.

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And now here's more Howie Long. I mean, these Raiders teams, like I said, iconic.
When you guys play in the Super Bowl, the story kind of goes that the Eagles were all buttoned up, you know, no one's going out, and the Raiders are the Raiders. That's the 80-81 team.
Okay, all right. So that was the 80-81 team, but the Raiders from Al Davis down, it felt like the team played with such swagger and kind of this uncontrolled chaos.
And could you feel that when you're standing on the side,

like these guys are crazy, but they're on my side.

So I'm happy. They're so crazy.

Well, Lyle Alvado, you know, and it's a,

it's a really, it's kind of a funny story, but Lyle and I,

Lyle came there in 1982. Okay.
Strike shortened year.

We're practicing in Oakland, but we're playing in LA. So every game's a road game.
So Lyle and I are living in a single hotel room with two queen beds at the Oakland Airport Hilton. Now I'm living with Lyle Alzado in a room.
think about that i'm 22 years old 21 22 years old um he was i you know i called him three mile lyle you know bless his heart because it was you never knew when you know it was going to explode you know he he was benevolent, kind,ical he was he was a card carrying bad man yeah um and you know we were close as close as a 34 year old and a 22 year old could be And we would take a cab when, you know, we'd stay at the hotel down in LA. We take a cab, first cab drive, right after the team meeting in the morning, everyone else went up to the room, they left for the stadium at maybe, well, you know, 1030, 11 o'clock, we left at 905.
We wanted to be there early lyle would get dressed he lied down on the floor fully dressed not pads you know shirt pants cleats taped up the whole thing and would fall asleep and i would pour over you know out of east near i right they run this 17 times you know that was my way of doing things so we get in this cab and we say the cab driver we go to the stadium so we're going we're going we don't know where we are because it's our first week in la you know he takes us to dodgers stadium now the meter lyle had a you know it's like a mood meter. It's like the RPMs in your car when they're on red and he was just curious.

So Lyle, the meter, Lyle had a, you know, it's like a mood meter. It's like the RPMs in your car when they're on red, and he was just furious.

So this repeated itself, you know, we finally get to the Coliseum. We take a cab every week.
That's what we do. We did that in 83 when we went to the Super Bowl.
So we're down in Tampa Bay and this is before the Super Bowl became, you know, the crazy kind of, you know, roadblocks, you know, concrete barriers.

I mean, 9-11 changed everything. And I remember we did that Super Bowl down in New Orleans, which was, you know, really kind of an eerie experience.

But so here we are in this cab going to the stadium to go to the Superbowl. Try to imagine that today.
Yeah. So we're in the cab going to the stadium down in Tampa Bay, the old stadium.
And we get caught in traffic, like a mile and a half from the stadium jam packed traffic. Kyle wants the cab driver to go up on a curb and drive down the curb the cab driver bless his heart I you know I don't know how long he'd been here and he was the communication was a challenge and Lyle was MF this and that and we get out of the car and Lyle Alzado and I with our bag bag, walking through the parking lot of the stadium, Super Bowl XVIII, to get to the stadium from the cap.
Holy shit. Yeah, now you got police escorts.
You got the whole nine. That's insane.
Can you talk a little bit about your acting career? I've always been a fan of Firestorm. Thought that was a criminally underrated movie.
YesHS copy is in Canton I remember when we took the tour

They've got a copy of the movie right there

Fantastic movie

But what I didn't realize about your career

Is that you were supposed to be in that thing you do

You actually

I'm in the director's cut

But they cut your scene

I'm in the director's cut

I think it was a Disney film

I believe It was a Disney film, I believe.

It was a Disney film.

So I think it inferred that Tom Hanks and I were lovers.

You were a gay couple?

Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

Although there was nothing tangible to point to that other than you kind of put two and two together

and we shoot this scene late at night and I'm waiting for him. And one of the band members who's a problem needs to get back to wherever.
And so, you know, I'm excited. I'm in the film and, and the film comes out and I'm not in.
My assumption was, and I can't, you know, because it'm in the film and and the film comes out and i'm not in my assumption was and i i can't you know because it's in the director's cut if you watch the director's cut it's in the director's cut and you can youtube and and watch it it's it's uh an awkward little scene uh but uh yeah i did that and then I got a call about Broken Arrow

and

John Woo was directing

Broken Arrow.

And John Woo was directing Broken Arrow. And I was supposed to be there for three weeks.
I ended up staying for three months. And John Woo kept coming in my trailer and saying, you're John Wayne.
I make you bigger. And just kept coming in and adding.
so I'm basically driving around in a Hummer with John Travolta for

you know, and just kept coming in and, you know, adding. So I'm basically driving around in a Hummer with John Travolta for, you know, for two, two and a half months.

And Fox had signed me to a two picture deal with,

they had the right if someone else made an offer to do something outside of that contract to preempt me within five days.

Thank you. They had the right, if someone else made an offer, to do something outside of that contract to preempt me within five days.
Disney made an offer to do a film, and they came up with Firestorm. Not only did they preempt me, but they had me do the film during football season in Canada.
so I'm getting done with our show landing in Canada going through customs

the whole thing

getting to the hotel, getting up at six o'clock in the morning, Monday through Friday. I'm up in the woods in Whistler shooting this film, go back down and I've got a production meeting Saturday morning.
I've got to be back down there on Friday night. And it happened for three months.
And I'm getting calls from home from Diane where the boys have set up ramps and they're jumping their bikes in the pool. And, you know, how he's getting pulled out of carpool.
So that film for me, whether, you know, listen, I'm not saying, you know, that was a direction I would go in or, you know, I was any good or, but the option of it to me wasn't viable, you know, because here I am, I'm on the road for three months. I'm working seven days a week for three months and the boys are home and dies there.
And she's, you know, she had a thriving law practice in L.A. She went to law school at USC and she had given all that up to raise the boys.
And here I am on the road and she's by herself. And, you know, she's got these kids.
And I made a decision at that point that, you know, it was going to be about them as much as it possibly could be. And I don't regret a bit of it.
You know, I don't think you ever regret that. And I think I saw this somewhere.
I don't know where I saw it in the video. Somebody said, uh, the greatest accomplishment or the biggest compliment you can get is that your kids as adults want to spend time with you yeah and you know i'm very lucky that uh we have i have diane diane's a saint so she has a great relationship but you know the dad thing being a pro football player and two sons playing pro football there's a lot of there's that father-son angst you know they're always being compared being compared.
And, you know, whether I want to be reminded, they want to be reminded of it. You know, they're reminded all the time who their dad is.
And I tried to be in the shadows as much as I possibly could be and try to enjoy the ride. And I think we did as good a job as we could.
I want to go back to, I mean, you have done an unbelievable job. Your sons are great and we love them.
So I'd say you, you might be dad of the year, dad of the dad of the millennium, including manliest man on planet earth. I wanted to go back.
I wanted to go back to a quick story about the lockout year. A little birdie told me that you're a good basketball player and used to play in pickup games with the lakers who were pretty good at the time i if i remember uh is that true no no no no no i'll tell you what it is one i did play you know at that time there was no otas we didn't really have much of a weight room you know nutrition was a non-factor physical therapy therapy, feet tissue, none of that.
It was none of that. Basketball, like at Villanova, was my way of staying in shape and playing.
And I played Manhattan Beach a lot. I played with the guys from Villanova, Eddie Pickney at one point.
We had a court up here in Montana at our first house blacktop court and i remember it was uh the steve kerr um uh larry kustovia frank brachowski um uh the brothers the the the barry brothers uh were up there we would have pickup games up there. Occasionally you'd see – you know, I don't remember playing against, you know, anybody that was of any consequence in the NBA, but in L.A.
But up in Montana, every year there was a party up here on the 4th of July where all those guys in the basketball group all got together, they we played pickup games over at my house on the lake so what's your game like is it a football player playing basketball or do you have a real basketball game because you know what it looks like when a football player plays basketball yeah you know I would say no left because my shoulder is I had it replaced a few years years ago. I mean, that didn't go up above my, you know, it was like, it stops.
So left hand wasn't great. You know, enjoyed running.
I could run. And that was the thing that, you know, and I always told the boys, I said, if you get an opportunity to run, show somebody you can run.
Even when you're big like Kyle, run. And Kyle's like the tiger at the zoo.
You know, the tiger's laying there on the ground, and it's cool, and boy, it's big. And then all of a sudden it gets up and takes off and runs 10 yards and jumps over a 10-foot wall.
You know, you've got to show people that you can do that. And all you wanted to do was compete, whether that's playing defense or, you know, you know what your role is.

I enjoy – I love playing basketball.

I couldn't imagine being paid to play basketball.

That would be so much fun.

And now I can't – you know, I mean, with all the surgeries, I can't play basketball anymore.

Yeah.

What about your audition for Fox NFL Sunday for that show?

Because we love the show, right? It seems like you guys get along really well watching the relationships between you guys develop over the years. It's been a big part of a lot of people's football watching experience, but I'm curious, what was it like when they're starting the show and you're auditioning for it? It was, I had gone, well, you have to kind of, let's set the table.
And not knowing this at the time, David Hill came over from Australia and England and, you know, Skype TV. And, you know, he'd done everything there was to do in Europe.
And Rupert tagged him to, you know, create this box sports out of nothing and hire everyone.

And the pregame shows at that point were half hour.

And the thought of doing a one hour long pregame show, people were saying, you're crazy.

What could you do in an hour?

And an hour, as you know, flies by.

It just with commercials and everything else just flies by. And no one told me what they wanted at the time.
They were just running people in and, you know, doing it. And I thought they wanted like Bob Costas.
And I did every conceivable research, pinpoints on games

watched a million games

it was a hypothetical week

and I literally spoke to the

commissioner, I spoke to multiple

coaches, I spoke to

I had a stack of papers this big

and what he'd seen

was he'd seen

me doing an interview like this

and where he saw that

local news or whatever

I'm sorry. seen was he'd seen me doing an interview like this and where he saw that you know local news or whatever or i did hbo inside the nfl and i had my own segment where you literally ran the prompter with a scroll you wrote it on a scroll honest to god you wrote it on a scroll and you you had a your hand down here hitting the button to start the prompter and that was kind of my first experience with doing something in from a national standpoint so i go in there and i'm i'm buttoned up i'm stiff i'm you know i'm doing the kind of prototypical.
David Hill wanted a show that probably like your show where, you know, it's two guys sitting around having a conversation in a family room. And until it gets to that point where you actually feel that way, you're not capturing the essence of what he wanted.
And and it, you know, Terry was very helpful with that. You know, day one wasn't good.
Day two was better. And they wanted a player, defensive player.
They want an offensive player, quarterback. They wanted a head coach.
And that was what they, they cast. I mean, so it wasn't a great, it wasn't a great audition from what i gather uh david hill reminds me of that all the time but i said well you know you you 30 years later you did something right yeah how long into the show until terry said something just outrageous that really like popped that balloon that really made everybody seem like i have to imagine that he's the one that kind of made everybody comfortable and went off script or or went off on a weird tangent maybe mispronounced the word cat i don't know no well let me let me say this and you know and you're a classic example of this he's he's got that jed clamp he's got that jet clamp that I'm going out to the cement pond, do my gazintas down pat.
He's rode that thing all the way to a bank account that, you know, trust me, he's one of the smartest people I know. Truly, he really, really is.

He's brilliant.

When you turn on the light, regardless of what's happened during the week,

you know, the issues that he's had over the last two years. And, you know, the last two years, you know,

him dealing with the medical issues that he's had, you know,

people didn't realize how challenging and difficult it was

and what a challenge it was for him to, you know, to be on air you know sharp and coherent and you know and all that um he's a brilliant guy but trust me we're not a rehearsal show uh we do our show live we don't rehearse uh and the reactions when he says things are so genuine because it's like, oh, my God, did he just say that? You know, he's kind of the white Charles Barkley. Yeah, it makes the show.
Yeah, it really does. I've always said that.
I think Terry, you know, God bless him. You know, it's 30 years.
We've been together 30 years. And, you know, early on there were, you know, we couldn't look, we couldn't be any more different.
You know, I'm from Boston. He's from Freeport.
He's Baptist. I grew up Catholic, Villanova, Louisiana tech quarterback, defensive lineman, Steeler Raider.
You know, he's, we couldn't be any more different, but he's like the older brother I could have never imagined having. Yeah.
It's a great relationship. Yeah.
We want to talk a little ball about this year. I'm sure you've done some prep.
What is a team? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
What's a team that you've got circled that you're like, okay, this is a team that could surprise some people that maybe people aren't looking at not a Chiefs or an Eagles, but a team that you're like, I like what they're building and I can see something. This might be the year they take the next step.
I think there's about – and it's interesting because I looked at it from that perspective last night.

You know, I was sitting here late last night and I said, you know, look, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Buffalo, Cincinnati, San Francisco, Baltimore, Dallas, Chargers. Jets, are they real? Is it, you know, a mirage? I don't know, but it's going to be fun to watch.
I would say teams like, and I'm not sure if the Seahawks are a surprise team, but I kind of love what they've done there, what the GM and the head coach have done there again. You know, they had, they had kind of a little, they had a little bit of a gap there where they got off track and, you know, maybe they didn't hit on the draft picks that they usually hit on, particularly with mid-round picks.
And, you know, you certainly want to hit on a quarterback. And I think the quarterback for them at this point, and I think he's a, you know, he's, he really had a great year last year.
He's a bridge to, you know, whoever that is down the road, whether it's through the draft or free agent, whatever it is. But they're a team that I like.
Jaguars, I think, are going to be a team that, you know, I remember that game down there in the playoffs and we were at a dinner that, you know, Jimmy was talking about maybe retiring. So we didn't get to see a lot of it.
And I went back and looked at it again. And I like what they're doing down there.
I like Doug. I think Doug brings a calm, particularly to the quarterback room.
And I think that's, if you've got a quarterback,

you have to have somebody, somebody, you know, whether it's in Detroit with their offensive

coordinator. And I like what Detroit does.
And, you know he's great. He's great TV.
He's a great listener. I can relate to him.
I think Russell – Russell is – you know, I coached against Russell in high school.

So, you know, I've seen him for a long time.

He's been the same. The guy you see over the last 10 years is the same guy he was in college, same guy he was in high school.
You know, he was one of those guys that was 20 when he was 12. You know, just mature.
I remember he was throwing a football because kyle and him played

baseball against each other they both got drafted major league baseball um and i was in a parking lot in richmond and we were throwing i was throwing a football with him and he's a 13 14 year old kid and i called university of virginia and i said there's a 13 14 year old kid down here in richmond that throws the ball better than anybody you have on the team.

Now, like I said you you need to you need to you know offer this kid that was before you never went off prototype decides yeah whether it's whether it's bill parcells or you know you fill in the, any great team at that point or any great GM or head coach. I want 6'4", I want 225, I want, you know, big arm.
I want some athleticism, but I want a pocket quarterback. And, you know, Russell is a guy that I think needed Sean Payton to come in.

I think you always have to have a friend.

I don't know if you do.

You know, I had friends.

Bill Paquette was a good teammate of mine, Queens, New York guy.

And, you know, Diane certainly, you know, would be someone who would say to me,

you know what, you're acting like a horse fast.

You know, come on, dial it back.

Let's get back on who you are and what you're about. And, you know, let's get the train back on the tracks.
I thought Russell got big, not because Russell was out of shape. Right.
Russell maybe just lifted too much. He was, you know, Russell's not out of shape.
He's never going to be out of shape. To say that Russell fell off a cliff in one year, he had some injuries.

You know, let's factor that in.

The offensive line was bad.

The running back went down.

You know, there were built-in excuses, but you have to be able to read the room, particularly as that guy.

That guy has to be kind of the barometer for the team.

He sets the pace.

He sets the agenda.

And I think Sean is the guy that will come in and he's not afraid to tell you, you know, the office thing.

That's not, no, we're not doing that.

The coach that you have, you know, in the office looking at filmmaking suggestions.

No, we're not doing that. We're going to get back to the basics.
We're going to get back to run the football. We're going to make the offensive line better.
We're going to get back to doing the things and tailor the offense to a version of what Sean's run down in New Orleans and adapt it to Russell. That defense, what did they give up?

16 points a game?

Yeah, they were awesome.

Yeah.

You give up 16 points a game in the NFL, you should be winning some football games.

Now, they lost some close games.

Denver could be, you know, I think Russell's going to be better.

I love Sean Payton.

Sean Payton, you know, look, Sean Payton can talk to bark off a tree. You know, he loves football and loves talking every single play.
And, you know, sitting in the green room with him was, you know, I've had a great luxury of being next to Jimmy Johnson for all these years. And it's like, you know, the Einstein of football and how to build a football team and how to manage people.
And the whole thing is sitting, you know, two seats down for me for almost 30 years. He took a three, I think three years off to coach Miami.
Sean was a different perspective and a different way to look at it, which I think was really good for me. At least I enjoyed hearing that.
And I think he's going to be great for Russell. And you've got a new colleague, a friend of ours, Julian Edelman, joining Fox.
Yeah. I hope you're ready because he's probably listening to this right now.
Actually you have to be ready to just beat all the Patriots homerisms out of him. Cause he's going to be, he's going to be like a PR person for the new England Patriots on set.
You have to be ready to just beat all the patriots homerisms out of him because he's going to be he's going to be like a pr person for the new england patriots on set you have to be ready to be like julian you're not calling it straight you got bill you got bill in your ear bill bill uh the art of being a producer on a show is and bill has mastered it you know it's it's a one word kind of pop in your ear, which is great. You know, I don't need somebody, you know, nobody does.
Nobody needs someone barking in their ear. Bill does a great job of it.
Julian, listen, when you've won as much as he's won and you've won as many Super Bowls as he's won, God bless him. Knock yourself out.
You want to puff your chest out, you certainly can do that. I mean, Terry's won four.
He went to four. Won four, was two-time MVP.
Those Steelers, I think, won four in six years. So I'm used to it.
I'm used to – you know, everyone on that set has a reason to peacock up. Yeah.
You know, and I think he'll fit right in. He seems like a really, really good guy.
I had one last question. It's a rowback question.
This has been great, by the way. We'd love to have you on any time you want to talk, Paul.
It was your guest we've circled for a very long time. The rowback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

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I have another little – My favorite sweatshirt.

Oh, there you go.

I mean, you look good in everything.

You have –

I know about that.

Yeah.

No, you do.

You do.

Chisel draw. I'm a nine iron.
I look good from everything. I know about that.
No, you do. I'm a nine iron.

I look good from about 120 out.

I don't know.

We're drivers.

I'm a Murray McElroy driver.

I'm a potato gun.

I'm a 340.

I need 340 to look good.

I'm a howitzer.

Yes, yes.

So the other little birdie note I got, you're a big boater. You boat a lot.
You're out in Montana. You also rescue a lot of people with your boat.
How many people have you rescued in your life with your boat? I can't imagine being in distress, whether you run out of gas or whatever, and having Howie Long come and rescue you. That's got to be the coolest feeling in the world i you know i don't know if when you're when you're in

peril in the water and you're you know whether it's your your sail boat or whatever is capsized

and you know you're scrambling to kind of you know one stay on the boat and hope the boat doesn't

sink or people are broke down and you've got to pull them in. And it's, you know, it's, it's Montana.
It's a, it's a 28, 28 mile long lake and it's 15 miles wide at the widest point. And like, like in Chicago, you know, that lake can, you know, it can act like an ocean real quick.
And, you know, we've certainly bailed some people out. But you know what? I would hope that if my wife was out there on a boat and I was on the road that somebody would do the same thing.
I mean, you know, it's just like, you know, we used to do that. I remember when you used to drive down the road and somebody was on the side of the road.
You know, you say to yourself, you know, should I pick this person up? You know, nowadays you're inclined not to do it because you don't feel safe. Because I don't know whether it's the news or the volume of news where you're just afraid to do things like that.
But somebody's out in the water that's yelling for help. Yeah, I'll hop in my boat in a heartbeat.
So how many, what's the number? What's the number of rescues you've done? I'd say over the years. What do you think, Di? How many times have we rescued people? Over 15.
Holy shit. That's incredible.
You you're you're a superhero you're you're a real life superhero no please there's a lot of people in this lake who are who have done the same thing we we sold our old boat our original boat was 22 foot cobalt and now have a 28-foot because with the grandkids and

everything, we wanted to be safer. And if we got caught up in Big Fork with a storm, the ride back can be pretty rough.
But our neighbor, who's a doctor, and he was just a sweetheart of a guy in our first house here. And he was out there by himself in our 22-foot Cobalt.
And he was at the deepest point of the lake, which is 390. Uh, and it's right off the highway, a highway, meaning two lane road that bumps up to the mountains.
So the mountains are on one side of the highway and the lakes on the other. So I could throw a baseball from the road into the mountain or into the lake.
So he's probably a mile and a half, two miles into the lake. He's fishing.
He's kind of trolling and his rod falls over. He goes over to grab it.
He's 64 years old at the time. Maybe he falls out of the boat.
Now the boat kind of goes away from him and he's in the middle of the boat with jeans on t-shirt he's got the rod in his hand he gives up the rod obviously at some point he took his jeans off because it's extra weight he's got to make it to that highway where the rocks are and you got to climb up on the highway so now the question for you as a good samaritan driving down the road are you stopping for the 63 year old guy in your dad's white bvds with with blood running down his leg because he's climbed up the rocks and he's near dead jesus that's the question yeah yeah i i don't know who stopped for him somebody did stop for him him I don't know if I would have stopped if I didn't know it It's like Walter White The first episode of Breaking Bad I have one last question And you have to answer it honestly You and your prime Chris and his prime Kyle and his prime prime, wrestling match, who wins? Oh, good question. Kyle is, you know, Chris and I would, Chris is hard to kill.
He's one of those guys. You've tried.
Seriously, you just have to kill him. I mean, that's the way to stop him.
Kyle is frightening. When he puts hands on you, it's a different kind.
It's like some people are, I'm heavy handed. He's heavy handed on a bigger scale.
He's like, you know, the Schwarzenegger movies, where he's kind of a robot. Terminator, yeah.
Terminator. I'm T1.
He's like T4. You know, he's the bigger, you know, it's, listen, big truck.
Terry's offensive line average 255. Think about that.
Yeah. Biggest offensive line in the league average 320.
I was at the Hall of fame game and kyle was playing the game and i typically don't go down on the field when the boys are playing i just try to avoid that and i said to myself you know what i'm in the hall of fame i'm gonna go down and watch my son warm up so i'm watching him down there and i'm in the end zone the offensive line is down down the corner as they always are. And he starts from the 20-yard line.
He's walking toward me. And as he's walking toward me, you don't grasp.
It's like NASCAR. I don't get NASCAR watching TV, right? This car is going around in a circle.
You go to NASCAR and you get up on the fence and a car goes by 200 miles an hour. You get it then.
Oh, I go, Oh, I get it. As he's walking towards me, what's running through my head is how the frick would I deal with that? Yeah.
And you know, it's, we all, all you can do is play in your era and all you could do is be as good as you can be in

your era and you know very proud of the fact that you know i was an all decade player in the 80s and

reggie white was the other defensive man and you know very proud of that you fast forward now

the biggest offensive line is 320 across the board different game so it's anyone who says it's not

Thank you. You fast forward now, the biggest offensive line is 320.
Across the board. Different game.
So anyone who says it's not, it's Clint Eastwood and Grant Torino saying, get off my lawn. Trust me, I have no problem saying that.
It's bigger, it's stronger, it's faster. And that's the way it is.
So you think Kyle, you're taking Kyle in a wrestling match.

I would take Kyle, yeah.

I think Chris would take Kyle in a wrestling match.

Are you kidding me?

Your hope is that you can land some kind of, you know,

you see a boxing match where, you know,

it appeared to be a glazing shot at the head.

So how did that knock him out?

You know, you pray you get something like that because otherwise,

and listen,

you're in Chicago.

I mean,

you know,

I don't know if you've heard

some of the stories

about practice there,

but he's had some,

I've gotten some calls

and I've gotten some calls

at the end of the day

where, you know,

you beat three people up,

you know,

in one practice

and they asked him to leave

and they suspended him

for a preseason game.

I mean,

Thank you. at the end of the day where, you know, you beat three people up, you know, in one practice and they asked him to leave and they suspended him for a preseason game.
I mean, he's hard. He's the nicest guy in the world.
He really is. He's a sweetheart.
He was our sweetest kid. When the switch goes off, it's hard to bring back.
That's why, that's why we have him on our side. That's why we, we, we, we, we stay friends with him.
It's good. He's a good guy to have on your side.
So Chris, Chris is, Chris is, you know, tough with a capital T and hard to kill. Yeah.
You know, you've got to kill him. He's training.
He's, he trains every day with that mindset. Yeah.
It's crazy. I mean, he's down the gym here when he's up in Montana, and I watch him, I go, what's he training for? You know, the same thing that all of us are training for.
When you walk out your door, is there a guy in the bushes that's been waiting to kick your ass if you're limping a little bit? You know, you've got to be ready. You've got to be ready to be hard to kill.
Yeah, I love it. I love it.
Well, Howie, thank you so much. This really has been a pleasure.
We'd love to have you back on any time. Good luck.
Year 30, incredible achievement, especially when you think about media business. Guys come and go.
And year 30, it's really, I would say, being year 30 in the media business, it's probably harder than playing over a decade in the NFL just because of how, how the change happens. So both accomplishments incredible.
And, uh, thanks so much for your time. Well, I appreciate you guys.
I, you know, uh, a lot of people, uh, listen to your, your show and, and love what you guys do. And certainly my family does too.
And so I, I've heard a lot about you guys don't know a lot about it but he you know between kyle and chris and everybody else they they've kind of let me know how great you guys are appreciate you having me on yeah thank you thanks so much howie long was brought to you by cars.com wherever life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be, there's a car for that on cars.com. I did a little bit of research over the weekend, found some sick, sick El Caminos on cars.com.
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Wow. So this is it.
This is the finale of Mount Rushmore season. This week will be the last three and then someone will be in a 24 hour stream with their partner for all of us to watch narrate so what happens if there's a tie yeah we should probably figure that out tie for last place are we going 12 and 12 oh man no we got to figure out some kind of competition for last place tie right i mean is it is it just a a monomono Mount Rushmore on the Tuesday after Labor Day?

That's scary.

I think it has to be a Mount Rushmore, right? We have to decide it with a Mount Rushmore.

Maybe if it's a two-team tie.

What if we did one Mount Flushmore?

Because it's not Mount Rushmore season anymore.

Two-point tie for last. I mean, Tuesday, Wednesday, technically it's not Mount Rushmore season anymore.
Two point tie for last.

Yeah, I mean, Tuesday, Wednesday, technically it's NFL season.

Maybe it's Mount Rushmore head-to-head,

and then the two guys who won and memes get to vote on air.

Who won and lost to Mount Rushmore?

No, absolutely not.

Down.

No.

Okay.

All right, so then we put it up to the –

Let's fair. Types of water.
Between the two teams. Types of water.
We've never done that before. Between the two teams.
And then the winners are allowed to denigrate during the Mount Rushmore. Yes.
Right? Yeah. Okay.
This has been a good Mount Rushmore season. Yeah.
Some great moments. It is what it is.
I'm focused on the future. I'm ready to go as hard as I can this week.
Last Sunday, doing three on Sunday was... You kept on saying that.
Hank was like, you guys screwed me. You guys screwed me.
Well, I screwed myself. Oh, you were hungover.
That's right. My brain was not firing on any level.
And you can get away with that in one game. It's kind of like you think you're a reliever.
You just say, oh, I'm a little hungover. I might have to pitch an inning and then they're like, nobody.
You're on the bump starting. Triple header.
Yeah. What? So when you were gone for vacation, Max cooked.
Max is gone for vacation. Are you cooking? I am.
I am buzzing. I haven't had a sip of alcohol.
Have you? That's a lie. Have you haven't asked Jake.
We did sober golf all weekend. Well, I always do sober golf.

Yeah.

Wait, but you didn't drink Friday or Saturday night?

Friday.

But that's a weekday.

Friday's a weekday.

Well, past midnight?

Friday night is a weekend.

Friday day is a weekday.

Friday.

Wait, we drink during the day? What are the weekend days?

Friday night.

When's the weekend?

Friday night is a weekend night.

Friday night is 100% a weekend night.

But, Hank, also.

Friday after five is the weekend. You're saying that you drank on friday night did you stop drinking at midnight definitely not possibly i was an early night also friday after five is

literally the weekend that's when the weekend starts no the weekend's and midnight on friday

no it's not friday's a weekday all right so then you gotta start working till midnight i've told

you it's all september friday at five that's it's like the best time of the of the week that's

I'm sorry. No, it's not.
Friday's a weekday. All right, so then you've got to start working until midnight.
I've told you. It's all September.
Friday at 5. It's like the best time of the week.
That's the afternoon. Friday at 5 is when the weekend starts.
This is insane. The week is Monday to Friday, so the week would end when Friday ends.
No, the week ends when you leave work on Friday. Friday night is a weekend night.
Yes, 100%. This is insane.
You're just doing... We're doing the bodybuilder for him right now.
This is insane. How many days in a week? Five.
Or seven. No, I'm saying how many days in a weekday? There's five weekdays.
How many days in a weekday? How could there be five weekdays, three weekends, and seven days? What? What? Because Sunday night is not a weekend night. Sunday night's a school night.
right Sunday night is a weekend night No it's not You're a moron You want to put up a poll? No I know my body What's more of a weekend night? Friday night or Sunday night? I'm going off technicality. But that technically.
Sunday night is not a weekend night. Sunday night's the school night.
Correct. Friday night is a weekend night.
Not in my book. Okay.
All right. Okay.
So we're up two. Hank and Max.
On the second place. And then.
Oh, yeah. So 30, 28, 27.
Yeah. who's in last? Hank and Max currently okay we got a lot of we got a lot of cooking we gotta do Hank and Max I sent Max a lot of you know a lot of notes I was trying to listen in I was really active Max today has texted me cook and texted me a name for someone thing that's not an animal okay was Billy involved in this Jake? yeah was memes involved that's all i need to know okay okay good no do the billy strategy you said billy has a strategy that was the other thing i was i was playing hurt and jake was playing with a buff because there was no billy and he had memes it was on it was i'm also worried i misunderstood this assignment but we'll see okay well j if you're looking for a fictional animal, you could take the eagle that you got today.
Allegedly. Hank was right there.
I was. It was impressive.
All right. So what's the order? Hank and Max, Big Cat and PFC.
Same order every week. I still don't remember it.
You don't fucking know when a weekend night is. It's not the same order every time.
Saturday and Sundayay okay shut up you're making me mad if you say i don't work on the weekends what day is that friday night friday night you don't work friday you are such a liar so if this is all stemming from the fact that you got hammered on friday night trying're trying to backtrack and be like, I didn't drink at all.

You didn't drink at all weekend.

I didn't.

Okay.

All right.

What's your order?

Hank and Max.

Yep.

Big Cotton PFT.

Okay.

Us.

All right.

Don't bang on the table.

Don't bang on the table.

Yeah.

That was my bad. Come on, Hank.

Come on, Hank.

We're going to go 1-1.

Probably the biggest animal franchise of all time. The ringleader of it all, Bugs Bunny.
Okay. Okay.
Good pick. Bugs Bunny.
Great. That's all, folks.
Yeah, that wasn't our 1-1. Don't care.
Didn't ask. Okay.
I'm just telling you. It was a good pick.
It was a good pick. Should we go our 1-1? Yeah, let's go 1-1.
Yeah. Brian from Family Guy.
Great dog. Great dog.
Very fun. All-time dog.
It was on the list. Yeah.
All-time dog. Tell me what Bugs Bunny, what's your favorite Bugs Bunny moment? Probably when they beat the Monstars.
Oh, okay. Sure, you're a late- Would you guys like Brian from Family? Watching the family up Lola really, really taught me a lot in my youth.
Would you guys like Brian from Family Guy or Brian Griffin? We ate the carrot. Brian from Family Guy.
Brian from Family Guy. When he would stump Elmer Fudd over and over again there's the answer that's the correct answer you should have gone with that one the goat is duck season rabbit season that's the best yeah yeah okay alright good pick do you want to say anything about ours you don't want to say I like yours thanks Jake the talking dog very cool we would have taken him if you guys didn't.
Love that, Jake. Love that from you.
Thanks. Speaking of dogs, we're going to go with Scooby-Doo.
Okay. Good pick.
Solves mysteries. Yeah, Solves mysteries.
And he's an all-time good vibes guy. Great Dane, yeah.
And better. It's kind of a dog.
He can speak, but kind of not speak. Brian's really not believable.
It's a fucking dog, dude. No, Scooby't really talk.
He just is like, whoo. No, he's going to go scuba.
Yeah, but that's how dogs are. It's like you can kind of speak to him, but you can't.
You don't like Brian from Family Guy's? I'm not going to. Wait, so bunnies talk? All right.
Oh, no. Do you know any dog that kind of talks? Every dog.
Yeah. Do you know any bunnies that kind of talk?

Yeah.

I watched a video today.

A girl was shaking her head and the bunny responded.

That's not talking.

Did the bunny talk?

Sign language.

That's not talking.

I respect all languages.

All right.

Next, we're going to go with Patrick Star.

Okay.

He's starfish, I guess.

Yeah.

Patrick's awesome.

He's stupid. He's from Spongebob.
He's a starfish. Oh, okay.
What's Spongebob? He's just a sponge. But I don't think he's...
He's not an animal. I don't think he's an animal.
Okay. You want to take our second? Yeah.
Okay. I mean, yeah.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Beasts. I love them.
Do you have to pick one? What's the rule? We gotta pick one? Do we? Why? I mean, is it fictional animals? You take the Louis Tunes. You take the Louis Tunes.
No, but I mean, they're all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're the same.
They're brothers. Oh, so you value them all the same? Yeah, I do.
I respect all of them. Equally.
Yeah. Fictional.
PFT said I vote fictional animals. Those are fictional animals.
What are your technicalities? Do you not want us to take the whole Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? No, it's not fair, but sure. Okay, fine.
Let's do fair.

We'll do fairness.

Okay.

Should we take one of them?

Yeah, we can take your guy.

Michelangelo.

Michelangelo, the party dude.

Yep.

Cowabunga.

Pizza all the time.

Yeah.

Is that okay with you?

That is.

That's the best turtle.

Say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, parenthesis, Michelangelo.

I'm a Raphael guy myself.

Reverse.

Michelangelo, parenthesis, TMNT. TMNT, parenthesis, Michelangelo.
I'm a Raphael guy myself. I'm a reverse.
Michelangelo parenthesis is TMNT. TMNT parenthesis Michelangelo.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. Hank and Max.
I think Hank's regretting his first pick. I'm regretting a lot of things.
I'm going to be in this room. Snoopy.
Snoopy. Classic.
Classic. Classic.
Iconic. What's your favorite Peanuts cartoon?

Probably Thanksgiving.

Charlie Brown Christmas.

Yeah.

When Lucy holds it for Charlie Brown.

No, yeah. That's not Snoopy.

He doesn't go to school.

Snoopy just sleeps on the fucking shed, dude.

With Woodstock, the bird.

Yeah.

Snoopy's a good pick, though.

Snoopy's a good pick.

He's a good dancer. Yeah.
Good vibes guy. Yeah.
With Woodstock, the bird. Yeah.
Snoopy's a good pick though. He is good.
He's a good pick. He's a good dancer.
Yeah. Good vibes guy.
Yeah. Oh man.
I mean, you've gone Bugs Bunny and Snoopy. We're just going.
I've locked up the 60 year old vote. Yeah.
No, I think that I don't, your dad's going to listen to this. Be like, get him Hank.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's my boy.
You're going to go Mr. Ed next.
No, but sticking with the theme, we're going gonna go with Winnie the Pooh Okay Okay Good pick Winnie the Pooh's a classic I like his ride at Magic Kingdom Eeyore It's kinda I like Eeyore But yeah Big bummer Yeah What's that? It's more your style Eeyore And Winnie the Pooh just doesn't wear pants Oh bummer Respect that Oh Pft we have our fucking board open yeah i think we go five you guys have always had your board no we we thought we thought brian from family guy would get picked right away uh yeah let's go five air bud real to go out i'm on the list it's a real dog they use them in the movies's a fictional animal though, Jake. No.
Did he play basketball? Yes. I looked it up on the Wikipedia.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Jake just left. It was on our list.
Jake did. No, this is why this is bullshit.
Air Bud is the character that the dog plays. Then dog's name is Buddy.
Did it happen? Did the story happen? The story? Yeah. Was that a real thing that happened where dog was like like, there's no rule, this is a dog, can't play basketball.
No, it's a fictional animal. Air Bud is a fictional animal.
I would have taken it in my first two. No, Air Bud is a fictional character that the dog plays.
The dog is an incredible actor. You don't think Air Bud's a fictional animal? It's entirely, I feel like I'm insane.
It's based on a true story. Hank doesn't believe this.
It's not based on a true story. Hank doesn't believe this.
That was an obvious pick. No, Hank's.
You didn't think of it. I had it on the list.
So then you're fine with it. I'm only mad at Jake here.
Hank is just playing along. I'm just saying I also researched.
It would have been taken in our first day. No, you did not.
You did not research. You did not research.
You need to figure out what fictional means and you should have taken them first because that is Air Bud is the definition of a fictional animal. The name of a movie.
The dog named Buddy. I'll trade you.
We'll take back Air Bud. You give us all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I think that's bullshit that they're not counting Air Bud. I don't know if we can get a third party's opinion here.
You understand what fictional means. This is insane.
insane. It's insane that you don't think that Air Buds.
The dog didn't play basketball in a real life. Yes, he did.
It's a real dog in the video. So that means that any actual dog, like animal, doesn't count? I haven't heard any other ones on the list.
Okay, we have other ones, though. Air Bud is entirely fictional.
It's a movie about a dog that plays on a high school basketball team that didn't happen don't forget about football pft and he plays football in hockey yeah he did the laker game halftime show in 1991 i know that the dog is real so it's based on the true story air bud is a fictional character that the dog plays in a movie yeah but the dog in the movie know how acting works, Jake? All right, so is Oppenheimer a fictional scientist? No. But Cillian Murphy is just playing a portrayal.
But Air Bud didn't actually play in a fucking high school basketball game. He did the halftime show at the Lakers game.
It's not a real story. I don't care.
It's fine. Well, no.
Air Bud is a character. It's completely different from different From the dog You guys don't want us to take it

We can't take it

But like this is

I mean personally

You had him on your list

And you didn't pick him

I feel bad for Jake

You had him on the top too

Shut the fuck up

Well Jake just goes to

Fucking Buzzfeed

For all these anyway

Air Bud was the first one

I thought of

It's a sports movie

You thought we were gonna say

Oh fictional

Not fictional

You thought we were gonna say that

I probably would've

No you would

Alright

So wait

What's the

I stand

I stand by

All right.

So wait, what's the...

I stand by Air Bud.

I think Air Bud, that's a rock solid.

I stand by Jake's research, but I guess that's just me.

But even with his research.

He did the halftime of a Lakers game.

Do you understand that he's a character...

He's in rider mode right now.

He's a character in a fucking movie that plays a basketball... Like Like he plays in a high school basketball game.
Does he not? Yeah. And he plays on the high school football team.
Air Bud defenseless retriever. There's a whole series.
It's a great, great series. So that is fiction.
Yeah. You understand that part? Like, yes, it's a fictional thing.
The movie stars in his fiction, but his skill and the documentary fiction but his so that would make him a fictional character i mean it's a real dog like it's buddy but it's fine memes can we get a vote i'm so confused by this entire conversation is air bud a fictional character look we got memes evan and shane here i trust They can vote Air Air Bud a fictional character? Look, we got Memes Evan and Shane here.

I trust they can vote.

Air Bud's a fictional character.

Thank you.

Unless there's a dog that was playing varsity ball.

Yeah.

Right.

But he did do the halftime show at the Lakers.

Yeah, no, Jake just doesn't understand what fiction means.

I was so mad at Hank.

I knew what you were doing, Hank.

He's on his troll show.

It's a real thing.

And that might be the difference.

If you had picked it, none of us would have said this.

You realize that.

I was literally picked it. None of us would have said this.
I was debating him

or winning the poop. And I was like, I'll stick with the class.
Yeah, we would never

have said a word. You thought you you thought like you had your big Trump card.
I was pumped.

Yeah. All right.
I lost the vote I tried okay next pick

he was

just like going through all this

research for this big moment

to try to get us with Air Bud

you could have just taken him

but then I would have broken my own rule but none of us if you had taken Air Bud we would have said good pick we had him you're not getting your own rule We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have.

We all have. We all have fictional characters in a fictional draft.
Which you're not getting is that the dog is a real dog. He existed.
Yeah. Is he dead? Yeah.
No. Was he in every single movie? Fuck.
Was he in every single movie? I think so. What? I mean, it fell off a little bit.
The football one slapped and then I think volleyball started to get a little unrealistic. Wait, didn't he play hockey? They also did MXP.
They did the chimpanzee who did snowboarding. Oh yeah, most extreme prim Yeah.
They should do one where Air Bud joins the military. No, he wasn't in every single one.
They had a bunch of direct-to-video ones that he did not star in. Air Bud joins the military and comes back home, and then his dog greets him at the door.
There's Air Bud World Pup, Air Bud's seventh-inning fetch, Bud, Spikes Back. That's volleyball.
Snow Buddies, Space Buddies, Santa Buddies, Spooky Buddies, Treasure Buddies. Sounds like he retired.
Just cashed in, yeah. Air Bud.
He was on America's Funniest Home Videos. Were all the buddies, were those his offspring? Yeah, I believe that was a storyline.

I think in like the fourth or fifth one,

he had offspring.

Oh, but in...

That might have been the volleyball one.

But Hank, in real life,

were they his offspring?

Well, it's all, it's a documentary.

So I was going to say,

that would be proof

that he's playing a character.

Yeah, I was just,

I thought you guys were going to

take Jake for his word, but...

Okay.

Jake just doesn't understand fiction. No, he doesn't.
It's okay, Jake. You don't understand fiction.
That's all right. Whatever.
Anyways. He actually was only in Air Bud.
Right. So he wasn't even in the second one.
He wasn't even in. So you're taking Air Bud, parentheses, defenseless retriever.
No so and spikes back and golden receiver no that's just it's proof it's like james receiver that's what it's like james bond multiple dogs can play it yeah okay yeah um all right we're gonna go soundtrack yeah we're gonna go with pikachu okay mouse. I'm going to allow Pikachu.
You don't know what it is? It's an animal. Okay.
Yeah. That's actually good value for this round.
Yeah. Yeah.
Good job, Jake. Thanks.
And we're going to end with a classic, Mickey Mouse. Okay.
That's a Mickey Mouse thing. Mickey Mouse in the last round is no matter what you say about him.
It's like when they took LeBron People hit on it Jake are you familiar with the origin of Mickey Mouse? I'm not no Pretty racist Actually very racist Look up the cartoon Steamboat Willie You just took a racist mouse Wow You guys took Kanye That was a great mean, you guys took Kanye. One, one.
Yeah, that was a great pick. It was an awesome pick.
You guys lost that one. Those albums were incredible.
Yeah, listen, Walt Disney was also a virulent anti-Semite, Jake. Yeah, we also, I mean, people pointed out after the fact that, what was the one we tried to take that was, oh, Toy Story, that we couldn't take Toy Story as a trilogy, and you had Star Wars that has like 17 movies.
Well, we discussed this.

Right, I know, but that people pointed out

that was bullshit.

I didn't, but people did.

Okay.

People did.

Okay, PFT.

Wow, we got our board open.

We do.

I like 7, 8, 9, 10.

And then on the secondary list. We have a secondary list.
10. And then on the secondary list.

We have a secondary list.

I like number 8 on the secondary list.

Oh, yeah.

Let's do it.

Yeah, yeah.

Lola Bunny.

Yep.

The first one.

Non-nerfed version.

Non-nerfed.

When she still had that ass.

Yeah.

So Lola Bunny, parentheses, first version.

First version.

Yeah.

The hot version.

Yeah, parentheses, hot version.

The hot version.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The one that gave everybody boners. Yes.
No, no, no, because there's... They took away your tits and ass.
It's Air Bud. You can't have Air Bud.
If you're going to parenthesis that, you have to parenthesis Air Buds. No, it's two...
There's multiple Air Buds. There's multiple Lola Bunnies.
I have parenthesis on all of our picks. It's two distinct Lola Bunnies.
Our picks should be Lola Bunnies, hot one. No.
Air Bud one. Air Bud, parentheses, fictional character.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, parentheses, Michelangelo.

No.

Brian from Family Guy, parentheses, great pick.

Tell you what, Hank, I'll take Lola Bunny, parentheses, the hot one,

if you take Lola Bunny, parentheses, the ugly one.

No. All right, fine, Lola Bunny.
I mean, people know we're talking about the hot one, if you take Lola Bunny, parentheses, the ugly one. All right, fine, Lola Bunny.
I mean, people know we're talking about the hot one. Can we do parentheses first version? Lola Bunny, parentheses, 1990.
What was that, 97? Yeah. 96.
There's a lot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too. You want the live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? I want all of them.
Yeah, we got all of them. All right, so you get Michelangelo live action version.
No, no, no, no. So first version? No.
Of Lola Bunny, yes. All right, fine.
No, we won't. We won't.
We'll just take Lola Bunny. That's fine.
They'll know what we meant. Hank, this is great because this is what, like, the reason why this is getting attention is what we're very, like, no one wants to be in this box.
I think we're going to be in the box. I think last we fucked us.
I think this was a bad draft. You mean you mean us.
We fucked you because we made you drink. Yeah.
You had a partner. Listen, you didn't drink at all this weekend.
Yeah. Yeah.
You want to know what know what Max sent me? Jessica Rabbit. That's not our pick.
Who is that? It's not a fictional animal. That's not an animal.
Yeah. Well, I guess humans are animals.
Was she part animal? I guess she was being part. No.
I think she was part animal. I don't think so.
Her last name was Rabbit. That's very confusing.
She married a rabbit. Oh, got it.
Took the last name.

Not a very boss woman.

No.

So we're just going to hope and pray that the classics take us to victory here.

Wait.

Garfield?

No.

Oh.

You might take Garfield now?

You didn't think about it. What was on your list?

You didn't even have Garfield on your list no i had i had no help do you want us to help you no we'll give you a pick no okay um kermit the frog okay okay just classics yeah yeah okay okay i i hate it i think you guys That was a good draft by you guys. You never Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
I hate it.

I think you guys, that was a good draft by you guys.

You never know though.

So I guess the drinking thing was, turns out science proven wrong on that.

You should drink more.

You should drink on Friday?

Oh, no.

Like I thought that was going to help me make better picks.

It didn't.

Max let you down.

What was Billy's strategy?

So Billy said, if it's a children's cartoon, take it off key they're kind of lame we got to choose badass ones like that was his strategy he said because i sent him the list that i had and he said the dog from i am legend the dog from sandlot and cocaine bear cocaine bear actually not fictional yeah oh it was a real bear i wasn't considering taking it but he he didn't want to take it. He wanted to go badass.
We also had Hercules on our list. I said the majority of fictional animals are kid-friendly.
I had Free Willy. Bluey.
Bluey. Blue's Clues.
Yep. Is Elmo an animal? No, he's like a monster.
He's a monster. Oh, okay.
Big Bird. Jaws.
Barney. Barney was good.
That's a good pick. Scary.
King Kong. Yeah, we had King Kong, Godzilla, Jaws.
Taz. Taz is a great one.
I don't even know what kind of name he is. Tasmanian Devil.
Yeah, there it is. Yeah.
You remember Joe Camel? The cartoon camel that sold cigarettes to kids? Very cool. That guy, Rob.
Clifford. Clifford, the big red dog.
Tom and Jerry. Wile E.
Coyote. Ragle, the dragon from Game of Thrones.
Yeah. Thought about that.
Yeah. Why didn't you go with it? I'm rattled.
I mean, I stuck with the classics. I just need.
I don't even know. That's an L.
Rocky, the raccoon from Avengers. I thought about Pikachu.
We haven't seen the Avengers, so that'd be a pander pick.

Yeah, Flipper.

Donkey from Shrek.

Donkey from Shrek, great pick.

Nemo.

Nemo is really good.

Yeah, that's why we banned him.

Yeah.

The rat, Remy, right?

From Red's Remy.

Yeah, that one's a good one.

All the 101 Dalmatians.

Hank, if you had taken Free Willy, I would have gotten so mad at you. You fucking hate orcas.
Scrooge McDuck. He rocks.
Yeah, I mean, Alita could have learned a thing or two. Just fucking jump over and free yourself.
Yeah. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Pretty sure the end of that one of those movies, he literally just jumps over a seawall and that's... Yeah, he could have done that the whole time.
I thought... I had to text our resident nerds, Clem and Robbie Fox, asking if Baby Yoda was an animal.
And they said as much as we're animals. Didn't think we could pick it.
Yeah, I'm glad nobody picked a human and tried to... Billy definitely would have picked a human and Been like, well, technically we're the most dangerous animal.
Max did. Yeah.
Jessica Rabbit. I mean, Brian from Family Guy is a human, but whatever.
What are you talking about? In the context of the show, he's just. He's not.
He's a talking dog. That's the whole thing about his character.
You picked a talking rabbit. We picked a talking dog.
But the talking rabbit isn't living with humans. It's living with its own kind.
It literally walks around with Elmer Fudd the whole time. Oh, its own kind? Yes.
Tasmanian devil's own kind? No, but like other animals. Elmer Fudd.
So is the enemy. Yeah.
You're pro-segregation. No, I just don't like the...
I think they should just have separate but equal places to live. It's written as a person.
He talks like a person. He does person things.
Kermit the Frog literally lives with other humans. What are you talking about? He lives with Miss Piggy.
Yeah, but he lives with humans, too. He does not live with Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy is simping hard, and he does not want any piece of that. Doesn't he talk to humans? Dude, he lives in the fucking...
He lives in Manhattan. No.
No. It starts with him like they have to rescue him out of the pond.

He starts singing.

He lives on Sesame Street, which is...

Do they have streets in the pond?

Yeah.

And he talks to humans.

Sesame Street humans are on that show.

They talk to all the animals.

No different than Brian.

Very different.

It's all right.

It's a good pick.

It was a good pick.

I'm not...

No, you're mad you didn't take it.

You're mad you didn't take it. It's a good pick.
It was a good pick. You guys had a good draft.
Thank you. So do you.
Thanks for any of the 80, 80 year old. Yeah, my grandfather will.
Joe Biden's going to love your draft. Wake up for it.
Yeah. What's up, Joe? Let me get that dog you got.
No, Joe's definitely. He's been asleep for a while.
He's been asleep before Howie Long even came on. Probably wakes up at 2 a.m., though.
He eats dinner at 10. Okay, yeah, imagine he just wakes up, yeah, at like 4.30 to take a piss, and he's just sitting at YouTube being like, memes, where the fuck is the show? Where's the show? Where's the show? Okay, good episode.
We have Kentucky Sports Radio on Tuesday. We are hosting.
We do it once a year. Very excited.
10 to 12 Eastern time. We say this every year.
Please follow it. We love the AWLs, but we want to talk to the Kentucky Sports Radio listeners.
That gives us the best sound bites. We're going to play the best of on Wednesday's show with a guest as well.
But, yeah, please let us talk to the Kentucky Sports Radio listeners. We're only going to be taking calls from Kentucky area codes.
RIP Harvey. We're definitely going to have to do a Harvey Memorial.
All right. Let's do numbers.
Three. Ninety-nine.
38 for it. I'm going to guess 38.
Ten for Shane. Memes, you ever gotten this? I have not.
have not I'm going to go with 69 6 Hank's number 6 God Drake Did you guess 6? That was where he won it Ended the streak I don't remember that Basically never happened because that was the old machine Last one to win there Not true, yeah, six. Cool.
Half. I don't remember that.
Basically never happened because that was the old machine. Black that out.
Last one to win there. Not true.
Jake was. Yep.
Congrats, Jake. Yes, Jake was.
I mean, wrong. Do we have the clip of the last lottery ball ever drawn that won? It was Jake.
Officially? Well, you got it. Wait, is it on the records, Jake? Yes.
We kept all of those going for those records, but they only extended it like eight times because you got it. Then I eventually got it.
It was official. I have it written down.
It's counted. You got it, too, that day.

Good job, Hank.

You got it, too, that day.

I also think we may have not reset the machine,

so when I got it, it might have been like 94.

No, no, no, no, no.

It was official.

It was official.

Okay.

See you everyone Wednesday.

Love you guys.

Animal Fact is Air Bud Was an actor

I'm talking away

I don't know what

I'm about to say

I'm saying it anyway

Today's in my day

They're calling you

Shining away

I'm coming for your love

Okay

Take on me

Be the same

I thought you said it

It's about me

Somewhere in the way

Southern

I'm notless to say. I thought you said it.
It's about me. So I'm a little bit.
So I'm learning. It's okay.
Say it to me. I like the better to be safe and sorry.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Thank you. Take me out Take me out

Take me out

Take me out

Take me out

Take me out

Take me out