
CFB Preview With Andy Staples, Mt Rushmore Of Ass Kickings, Shohei Hurt And Barstool 20th Anniversary Awards
Shohei Ohtani is hurt and everyone is sad and some media members are even puking. We recap the Barstool 20th anniversary award ceremony and talk some sports (00:00:00-00:31:13). We then welcome on our friend Andy Staples to talk College Football, dark horse picks, story lines and week zero bets (00:31:13-01:13:4). Mt Rushmore of ass kickings and we wrap up with Fyre Fest of the week (01:13:48-01:42:29).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
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On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Andy Staples on the show
because college football is back.
Week zero coming up on Saturday.
We're going to talk about the entire college football landscape with him. Some dark horse picks to win the national title.
Some picks for Saturday. Great interview.
Always great to have college football back. We have the Mount Rushmore of ass kickings.
This is a good one. This is a good Mount Rushmore to clean up the trilogies.
We're going to be, this is a good Mount Rushmore.
So get excited for that.
We have, we're going to talk some sports.
We have, we're going to maybe recap a little of the Barstool 20th anniversary awards.
We were still in Boston after the awards last night.
And then we have Fyre Fest of the Week sending you into the weekend.
And we're so goddamn close to the NFL being back as well.
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, let's go.
Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work will be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we gonna rock down to electric avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to electric avenue It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take Today is Friday, Augustust 25th and shohei otani is hurt again Yeah it's a tough day You know what i was about to say tough day for angels fans tough day for baseball Yeah for the sport for the game i feel bad for the game I actually feel worse for shohei otani Yeah he's probably missing out on a few million dollars there's word, there's the idea that maybe he will stop pitching because this is his second injury. He had Tommy John in 2018, now he's UCL.
That would suck. That would suck a lot and that would cost him a lot of money.
It would cost him a ton. He was set to make a shit fuckload of money in free agency.
Now he's just going to make a fuckload of money probably. It would be very funny, though, if the Mets signed him, and then he just pulled a DeGrom, and just like every year in June had to get shut down.
Yes. But as a batter, he can still go out there and play.
In fact, he asked to play in today's game. Like the second they told him he had an elbow injury, he's like, I can still bat though.
And a DH please take it easy on yourself chill out for a little bit i have an idea this guy can do everything why doesn't he just try to pitch left-handed i bet you shohei could pitch left-handed i i i don't i don't disagree i also have another idea why doesn't shohei otani become the best closer in the game so i yes smoltz iz. I was thinking about that.
I went up, looked up Smoltz's history. He was a great pitcher for the Braves, moved into the closing role, and then dominated for a few years, then came back and started.
He would be a lights-out closer. A lot of closers and relief pitchers are guys who just couldn't start.
Yeah. And I'm not obviously sure Otani can start, but he can strike guys out imagine if he was just like dh-ing every day and then closing games yeah that would rule uh did you guys did
you guys hear about ben verlander no yeah he heard about uh shoyotani thought he would puke
so um that makes me want to puke yeah he said he said oh my god shoyotani has a torn ucl i'm going
to throw up.
Yeah.
And then he said,
uh,
you know, That makes me want to puke Yeah he said oh my god Shohei Otani has a torn UCL I'm going to throw up And then he said Let's see He also followed up with No for those asking I am not okay Okay So he's really going through it He's the one who really I feel Worst for he also posted a picture Of Shohei standing on second base in the ninth inning last night. This picture is so much sadder now that we know that Shohei Ohtani knew he tore his UCLA at this point.
Yeah, apparently the Angels might share some of the blame in this because he's been dealing with some right-hand issues. Oh, you're saying the Angels aren't a well-run organization? Well, at least they still have Mike Trout and he's healthy.
But Ohtani has apparently – I i did a deep dive on this there are some redditors out there that have posted that otani for the last like month or so has been reaching across his body to give high fives with his left hand oh no as opposed to his right hand and people are like i hope he's okay turns out he's not okay um the ucl it sounds like sounds like another tommy john in his future and sometimes guys come back back throwing harder from Tommy John. But then I don't know what happens if you have two Tommy Johns.
Yeah. Or is it Tommy's John? I think it's.
I think it gets you even stronger. Yeah.
Like Henry Roengartner. I might just get preemptive Tommy John.
Yeah. It's smart.
Also, we heard from our good friend Karabas, who was at the Barstool Awards last night. He said, genuinely nauseous over the Shohei Otani injury news.
But he's not. He didn't puke.
He just felt like he was going to puke. He just was genuinely nauseous.
Is he okay? Now, we've definitely tweeted like this after an injury. But when it's something that we're all bummed about.
We love watching Shohei Otani play. He's having one of the best seasons ever.
But, yeah, I didn't get nauseous or want to puke after this one personally i did but that was just because i ate like 20 chicken wings last night yeah i think it was unrelated yeah but we could we could we could assign that to show hey yeah i wanted to puke when i found out that's actually not a lie to say i felt like puking when i heard the show hey otani news had nothing to do with the nine course lights and 20 buffalo wings i actually want to puke right now and that has nothing to do with other than the fact that we're in a room that's like 300 degrees so maybe that's also shohei maybe we all just haven't found our inner ben verlander or jared karabas and really felt where we want like where this puke is coming from it's shohei I wanted to puke earlier when I heard Hank yawn.
Yeah.
And also Shohei.
Oh, man.
We were driving up to Boston from New York on Tuesday,
and Brandon Walker heard his first Hank yawn.
He whipped his head around so hard from the front seat.
It was like he had seen a UFO.
He didn't say anything.
I saw his head.
He just goes, yeah.
What?
I do that every time I hear it.
It never loses its luster for me. It's still genuinely shocking that that noise comes out of that man's mouth.
Yes. All right, so where does Shohei go? Mets.
Goes to the Mets and then does not live up to the contract. Okay.
I feel like he might just stay at the Angels. Las Vegas.
Although if they fucked his injury up, maybe it's just Dodgers so he doesn't have to move vegas vegas oh you're a john fisher guy fuck you you're a scumbag too what what i said it i don't think john fisher would pay shohei otani you know he did say that once they get a new stadium he's gonna start spending really good we'll see that's gonna be sticker shock that's something really that's such a future you problem it's like man once uh once march madness is over i'm going on such a diet i'm gonna have a great body for the summertime no he's he's not going to be able to write those big checks it's not in his dna this football season i'm going to be diligent about my gambling and i'm going to be i'm going to win yeah less games i'm going to do i'm going to sprinkle in some unders this year and then i look on week. I have every single game, and half of them aren't even real games.
It is week zero. It is week zero.
We made it. We made it.
I'm excited to hopefully see how green the grass is in Ireland for the Notre Dame game. That's all I'm looking forward to in that game.
Yes. Yes.
I'm very excited for week zero, just live football. So, yeah, shout out to Shohei.
You're going to still make a make a lot of money but not as much and shout out anyone who's dealing with uh nausea diarrhea uh upset stomach premature ejaculation premature ejaculation all these things that might be related to shohei otani's injury in some form hank what was that look for i I mean, it was just... What'd he send?
A non-breaking moves, breaking moves.
Okay, breaking moves. Non-breaking moves,
breaking moves.
Isaiah Simmons is being traded from
the Cardinals to the Giants for a seventh round
pick. Huge.
Massive.
That shifts the entire
balance of power in the NFC.
Damn. Giants loading up.
Giants super team?
Super team.
Isaiah Simmons?
Watch out.
Holy shit.
Aaron Rodgers made one of his wide receivers retire.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
That was Corey Davis, Western Michigan great, Mac great.
Yeah, we saw him in the Mac championship game that one time.
Yep.
What, he's just stepping away from football or officially retired?
He said stepping away from the game. So who knows what that means it probably means uh you can't fire me i quit because you might not have made the roster i feel like you don't step away if you're going to make the roster right you don't go through camp yeah you're not trying to play right but then the minute you see like oh i might not i might get cut here right so he told Robert Salah that he was going to step away
and leave camp for a couple days.
Salah said he's dealing with personal issues,
and then he dropped out on Instagram that he was walking away from the game.
So he's saying that he could still come back.
He's not closing the door, I don't think.
But he didn't get cut.
He did not get cut.
He did not get cut.
Print it.
Write it.
He did not get cut. Did not get cut.
If he did get cut, the Jets would save $10 million. Oh, that's interesting.
So he was definitely going to get cut. It was a possibility he's been trending for the past couple years.
They were going to have to restructure his contract for sure. I mean, he's very good.
But that's a great move by him. Was he very good? I liked him.
Zach Wilson threw him in injuries. Very seems like the wrong.
He was not very good i liked him zach wilson very injuries so very seems like the wrong he was he was not very good for the jets he was he was a decent threat yeah i would call him a decent threat he was a beast in the mac so do you hate him he was a first round pick yeah i think he went like stole 10 million dollars from you guys but knowing that it seems like he might have been on the bubble and again i i that's a great move by him. Even like, I never got cut.
Do you think he was going to get cut? I don't think so. Oh.
Even the $10 million? Even with the $10 million. What was the wide receiver what on the depth chart? I believe three.
Oh, so maybe not. Yeah.
Okay. It's just, yeah.
It's all right. Now they got Randall Cobb, 32-year-old Randall Cobb.
32-year-old Randall Cobb just getting into his prime.
Speaking of roster moves, maybe the saddest tweet ever was the 49ers alerting everyone
that Sam Darnold named QB2.
Yep.
I don't remember the last time that's happened.
Well.
Where they just, they're like, big announcement QB2, Sam Darnold.
It's more about what they didn't say with that. Right.
That's who the qb3 is going to be trey lance trey lance so trey lance trey lance should step away trey lance trey lance should step away and then try to find a way to wind up in kansas city and play for andy reed and then become great it's funny because if if he was on any other team we'd be like man imagine trey lance and cal system. Yeah.
It'd be pretty sweet. Yeah.
We saw it. And he had like a couple moments where he looked competent.
But, yeah, it is really good for John Lynch that he ended up striking gold with Brock Purdy. Because giving up three first-round picks to trade up to get Trey Lance would not look good for him.
Trey Lance, yeah. I mean, we'll see what the rest of his career looks like, but right now he's in pretty good conversation for bust situation because that was a big trade.
And who else went in that draft? That was Justin Fields, right? Justin Fields, Mac Jones. Mac Jones, Justin Fields.
Trevor Lawrence went first. Zach Wilson already was taken.
Wow. This is like the draft with Marino and Elway and all those guys.
Yeah, I mean, the Jets can always say, at least we didn't take Trey Lance. Yeah, at least we didn't take Trey Lance.
Yeah, that's a tough one to trade up and take Trey Lance at three. So Trey Lance, he played, what, 16 games in college? He had that one season where he was just lights out didn't throw an interception i don't think and then covet year he played one game yeah so ever since ever since he got beaten up by jmu in the national championship game trey lance has not been the same quarterback yeah he might have won that game but we also knocked a shit out of him he started 17 total in college.
16 and then the one COVID year game.
Not a big sample size.
No, not a huge sample size.
But a reclamation.
I everyone knows this.
I if you were drafted high, I just assume that you're still good.
The draft draft guys couldn't be that wrong.
Yeah, different system.
He'll be great.
We just we just haven't seen enough yet.
Right.
Exactly.
So give him some time.
I will never give up on a top 10 draft pick. Nor should you.
Unless it was Corey Davis. Was he top 10? I think so.
I think he's number five overall. Yeah.
We got Jonathan Taylor. The Jonathan Taylor sweepstakes.
Okay. Rumored that the birds are interested in him.
And I mean, if the Eagles get Jonathan Taylor on top of everything that they have already, easy Super Bowl. Easy.
Not a doubt in my mind. Power running game.
Who's your running backs right now? DeAndre Swift. And Bobby Scott.
And Boston Scott. It would be Taylor Swift.
And Rashad Penny. In their backfield.
And Kenneth Gainwell. Wait, say it all again.
Rashad Penny. Rashad Penny.
Kenny Gainwell. Kenny Gainwell.
I like Kenny Gainwell. Yeah, I like Gainwell he's good I like our running running back room I don't think I think this is all rumors I don't think we're gonna would you say that if they get Jonathan Taylor dream team no super team super super dream team no no that's Jets that's Jets vibes this year for sure oh wow I did watch Hard Knocks and god damn it I am I'm so in on the Jets dude I'm so'm so in on them.
Go watch the Ghost video. It's out now on PMTV, me ghost hunting at Jerry's house.
I placed $10,000 on the Jets to win the Super Bowl because the Ghost told me to. Hard Knocks, they shouldn't have Final Cut.
The team shouldn't have Final Cut. It's bullshit.
It's too— It's just a suck fest. It is a suck fest.
That's what I'm saying. They've fully suckered me in now.
I'm fully believing in the Jets because of hard knives.
Well, they're showing you exactly what you want to see.
Yeah.
Oh, I know that.
I'm fully aware when I'm watching it.
This is a press release for the New York Jets.
Bullshit.
I'm like, these receivers are going to have monster years.
Minus Corey Davis.
Minus Corey Davis.
Well, more to go around for everybody else.
That's true.
That's true.
All right.
What else we got going on? Garrett Wilson,son 2 000 yards this year yeah easy two thousand spit chiclets guys interviewed tuca oh yeah let's hear his stories uh they're gonna talk well actually why don't you interview us pasta as we're tuca i'll be tuca so there's tuca raska on the show we'll both be tuca any pasta stories pasta stories? I like... Cavitelli? Yeah, I was going to say I like the vodka a la vodka.
Tell me about the 2011 cup parties. Oh, it was a movie.
Dude, Marshy was crazy. It was a fucking movie.
Cue the duck boats, baby. Did you see that tab we had? Snuts.
Early days of Sagan. Beast.
Yeah, I mean... Monster.
I've never seen a guy like that I've seen a lot of guys I'll tell you what One word Beauty Shitting himself in playoffs I don't Well that happens Yeah listen If you're a goalie Sometimes the best defense you can have Is just shit yourself And no one wants to go near you I ate too much pasta that day Just. Just Olympics.
Olympics are cool. You get to represent your country.
Yeah, kind of a waste of money. Although, if you smoke weed, you should not be throwing the javelin.
It could be very dangerous. Yep.
All right, sorry, Chickles fans, but I guess tune in, even though we just did the whole thing. We found this index card that has their questions that they asked them.
Whose questions do you think these are? It's got to be Biz. You think that's Biz? handwriting yeah it's got to be biz and then there's a bunch of stuff i don't think and i i say that because i don't think wit does questions yeah he just talks i think he because he can just go off the dome might be ra no okay i don't think you'd have like specific yeah he would be i would not be like early days of sagan he would be like, tell me about the fucking Series against the Maple Leafs You remember when the Stones played at the Garden? Oh, we love the fucking Chiclets, guys Did this one just say Allah? I got a great biz story coming later Oh, fuck yes Yeah, so it was great The 20th anniversary show was Wednesday night It was wild to see everyone in the room Basically, all of Barstool was there It was wild to see everyone in the room the entire basically all of barstool was there um it was crazy to see everyone there crazy to see like people get presented awards for funny moments basically an entire trip down memory lane i cried a couple times which some people are saying it's pussy i say that's football guy i just love my guys i love my guys in the locker room yeah i've been much i've been watching the frank the tank video where he tells people not to give up on their dreams yeah uh which that it makes me it makes me almost cry every time i watch it is legitimately an inspirational moment yes it was right here yeah put that in that was uh yeah put that in yeah put that in put that in right there uh put it in come on max is it in Max? Put it right in between these tits.
Come on, Max. Slide it right in.
I'll keep my bra on. Put it in these tits.
I worked as a court clerk. I settled as a court clerk.
I studied broadcasting in college. And it took...
I never gave up, though. And that's the lesson here.
Never give up your dream. And now I am working my dream job here in Boston.
Never give up your dream. Thank you, everyone.
Thank all the fans. Thank everyone who follows me every night.
And thanks, thanks, Army. It was our award that we gave him, so we won the award for biggest controversy, Barstool Van Talk.
I think we won that by default, because the other controversies might have been weird to give an award for. Yeah.
But we were honored to have it, but then we gave it to Frank, which I didn't discuss with you guys, but I figured you guys would be cool. I'm totally fine with that.
Yeah. I mean, Frank, Frank deserved to go home with some hardware.
I think he was the leading, the leading trophy winner last night, right? Because I gave him another trophy. Two awards later, I gave him a second trophy.
Yeah. And he, he just came up on stage, took the mic, crowd control on point, was gesturing violently, telling people, I almost gave up on my dream, but I didn't.
Never give up your dream. And I'm honestly about to cry just thinking about it.
It was so good. I'd follow him to the depths of hell.
Yeah. Also, I got to see if there's an all-22 angle because White Sox Dave almost died walking upstairs.
And it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. There was a bit of that going around last night.
Yeah, White Sox Dave won the award for best TV performance, was it?
Yeah.
For the time that he battled gum on Chicago television.
And he said to me after he knew he was going to win the award,
and he started telling himself before the winner was announced, don't trip on the don't trip on the stairs don't trip on the stairs and then he immediately tripped on the stairs hard yeah i don't know hank we should see if there's like a wide view of frank giving that speech because after it was over um there's really two ways that you can go on that stage one is back down the stairs that you took to get up the The other is the side stage, which people were coming in to present awards, like that area. And so Frank just started doing a circle.
And I was like, here, Frank, let's go this way. And I started pointing him to the side of the stage.
And then he kept going in a circle. He was like, no, Frank, this way.
And then he just walked away onto the other side of the stage and walked off that way. Frank makes his own rules.
Yeah, he does. I tried to give Frank a hug.
was not having it no he did he did the half half shoulder thing where it's like this is all you're
getting buddy and for people that say that frank is just all doom and gloom and he doesn't really
love the mets he was decked head to toe in met shit last night as his formal wear yes yes um
what other i mean there was a lot of great moments you can still the guy didn't die
yeah there was a guy who we almost had a tamar Hamlin situation where we had to stop the show well, I saw him later Well, that's what happened is like he was just drunk and fell down Yeah, me and Hank were warming up with a football while he was getting attended to by the medical staff Yeah, Jeff Jeff D low and Rico ran up there like did you what? Well, I guess Rico has training, right? Yeah. Jesse Lowe, what is he going to do? Ask him a question? Yeah.
Like, are you with us? Are you with us? Who wrote this hit song in 2002? He's like, sir. By the Black Eyed Peas.
Oh, wait. No, it's Black Eyed Peas.
Sir, what day is it today? Friday? Who was the leading passer in the Mountain West in 2003? How many fingers am I holding up? Gooch, can you check that for me? Yeah. You actually still have your double dip, sir.
I'd love to see Jeff T. Like just doing the concussion protocol just based off the dozen.
Like, bro, I don't fucking know. This well-known snack.
Ding-dongs. Dings we're looking for ding-dongs it was a great great night it was cool to see everyone it was cool to go down memory lane hopefully 20 more years I got a little sentimental I was doing some you know like I said crying a little sentimental posting made sure I said I hope I get we get takes off me it was a picture of me and Pity looking good by the way we cleaned up nice yeah i said i i can't wait to get takes off with this guy until we're old and grayer just so that people couldn't get me on that yeah that's smart it's smart to add the er on kidding that yeah mincey's done that once or twice uh it was it was um it was kind of an emotional time for sure because we do say it a lot, but I want people to know that we understand that we do have the best job in the world.
We don't take it for granted for a second. It's a surreal life, and we're very thankful to be here.
It's also like we work so hard, and there's a lot right in front of us, six inches in front of our face in terms of day-to-day. That it's cool to have those moments to be like, oh shit, this is everything.
This is the totality of everything that's been built. And shout out Dave.
Shout out Dave. Ten years from me.
Crazy. I feel old, but young at the same time.
I thought we took a great picture of the three of us. And then I click open the Instagram comment section.
Everyone was just roasting me for my stance. Yeah.
Well, they're roasting me for my chins. The stance and people were making fun of like the cuffs on your pants.
People were making fun of my suit saying it didn't fit. You can't win.
Also, that's as close as I'll ever get to wearing a suit that fits in my life. Newsflash, people.
We podcast for a living. We're not good looking guys and we don't clean up well.
No. like oh where'd you get that suit no shit dude we sit in sweatpants every day and watch football it's it shouldn't be a shock that we don't we don't look great in formal wear yeah i got my suit off the rack at dxl last week so yeah you look like you're you're gonna you're gonna go to you're gonna eat all the apps at a big big greek wedding memes said memes compliment he's ever given me, said I looked like a Bond villain.
I'll take that all day. I think you looked like a Bond villain.
Like the security guard at a Bond villain's lair. You know what that was? I'll take that too.
You know what that was? Yeah, the first guy to die in the movie. Yeah, yeah.
Literally number one. Excuse me, sir.
The guy in the GoldenEye video games that's just like pacing back and forth mindlessly that's clueless when James Bond comes behind him. Yeah, and also, listen, I don't want to tell you what was happening there, but Memes was hatless.
He's never hatless. He was giving compliments to get him back.
No, well, he said it as an insult. Oh.
Well, you took it as a compliment.
Correct.
Got it.
But memes look good without a hat.
He's like a different person.
Corporate memes.
We should make him not wear a hat.
Just go corporate memes all the time.
You do have great hair.
Memes.
Memes.
If the Jets lose Monday Night Football against the Bills week one,
you have to wear a suit the rest of the week. No hat.
PFT and I also want to do a perm bet at some point. Yeah, just curly ass here.
Max, we were probably 30 seconds away from an all-time Max moment, an all-time Max visual. He rescued it at the very last second.
We're going out to the red carpet together. And Max is like, no, I don't want to go.
I don't want to go.
I was like, no, you're going to go out there.
You're going to be my date.
Come on, let's do it.
And we're about to step out onto the red carpet.
And at the last second, Max realizes that his fly is completely down.
Oh, he came up to me with a down.
And there was about to be high resolution pictures everywhere on the internet of Max really feeling himself because he's got all these compliments about how good he looks with his with just his boxers pulled through his fly max answer this question this is circle of trust me and you that wasn't a you forgot to zip it back up after the bathroom fly that was a fat guy fly right i don't know that i don't even know what a fat guy fly is. When your fly just goes down because you're just fat,
and it's just too much stress on the pants.
Your zipper just gives up?
Yeah, just go.
No moss?
They basically, it's like taking a flag half-mast.
They're like, yeah, we can't do this anymore.
I think it was a bathroom fly.
But I also saw you without the...
I'm really bad at remembering to put my fly up
after I go to the bathroom.
That's good.
I'm really bad at it.
It is so funny. I get you out.
We should start fining you. Uniform violation.
Yeah. Fly is up right now.
Fly is up right now. Last thing I had was Skip is back.
He is – or, sorry, not Skip. Shannon Sharp is going with Stephen A.
Smith to ESPN. This just proves what we all knew, that he hated Skip Bayless.
Yeah. This is a move that's not just for Shannon Sharp.
It's to get back at Skip. Right.
It's like getting with your buddy's ex-girlfriend. You know exactly what you're doing.
And if you take the exact same job, there's a common denominator. You just didn't like the other guy.
Yes. Like if Shannon Sharp had gone into coaching, he'd be like, oh, he just was done with TV.
No, no. He's not done with TV.
He just didn't like Skip Bayless. Two very horny guys debating.
Yeah. That's what we know.
Stephen A. Smith's got to chill out, too.
He's on my guy Lonzo Ball a little too hard. He was saying he can't stand up or sit down, and Lonzo Ball posted an Instagram video of him standing up and sitting down.
He looks like he's great at standing up. Yeah.
He really does. Yeah.
And so why don't you keep Lonzo Ball, my point guard,
who probably won't ever get to see play again, out of your mouth.
Yeah.
There was also a great Jerry Jones moment the other day.
I think it was this morning or last night.
Sam Williams on the Cowboys got arrested for a second time for speeding.
He got arrested last year.
And so Jerry goes, this sounds a little hollow, but he maturing what was he going 66 miles per hour that's 32 miles per hour less this year oh 98 last year to 66 miles per hour today 66 not that bad what was it in though a 25 mile an hour school zone i didn't look it up i didn't look it up it can't't be. I'm guessing that he was going 66 in like a 40.
Yeah.
He wasn't going 66 in the highway.
Or 35 maybe.
Because in Texas, there's a bunch of highways that are like 70, 75.
So it definitely wasn't on a highway.
What if he got pulled over for going too slow?
They can do that.
Yeah.
Well, you remember Ezekiel Elliott?
Wasn't he going like 110 miles per hour a couple years ago?
Got a speeding problem?
Thanks, boy. Got a speeding problem? Thanks, boy.
Got a speeding problem, Hank?
Comeback player of the year.
Oh, comeback player of the year.
Okay.
MVP.
Maybe.
I guess you could say maybe in front of anything.
Yeah.
You never know.
You never know.
I got Baker.
As of right now, he's on the same production as everyone else.
Which is what?
Do you think he'll split votes, though? Mack Jones winning Comeback Player of the Year? Good question. That was good last year.
What's he coming back from? Exactly. He had a great season.
Matt Patricia is his OC. He had a great season last year.
He should be eligible for Comeback Player of the Year just because of Matt Patricia. Surviving Matt Patricia? That's worse than any injury.
If you look at the odds, they're so stacked to DeMar Hamlin winning, though. Oh, yeah.
That's right it is. It's going to be tough for a football writer to vote against DeMar Hamlin.
Yes, I'd agree. Okay.
Let's talk some more football. We got Andy Staples.
We're talking college ball. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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And weather whatever Ariat work year okay we now welcome on a very special guest one of our good friends it is time to talk some college football he is Andy Staples and you can find him at Andy underscore Staples on Twitter he has a new podcast on three sports is the host of it so it's uh go find it new feed everyone go subscribe uh andy is a great great college football reporter so let's let's get into it if you don't subscribe you're a scumbag and you're dead to it yeah i hope you get hit by a that's what i'm talking about yeah please um let's get it let's get into it let's start big picture i have a thought and I want to hear your thoughts on it. I think this is going to be the funnest college football season we've ever had because we have all this change, all this realignment, and it's going to be bad blood, and it's going to be weird stuff happening, and it's like one last chance at this last thing that we've had for a while now.
And it's going to be awesome.
yes this is the end of an of one particular era of college football so you've got the expanded playoff coming you have new conference alignments coming next year and you have basically teams that
have left other teams to die and yeah i i think think about this if you are washington
Thank you. And you have basically teams that have left other teams to die.
And yeah, I think, think about this. If you are Washington State and Oregon State, you want to kick the living shit out of the six teams from the Pac-12 that are going somewhere else.
If you are anybody in the Big 12, because when Texas and Oklahoma left for the SEC, you could have had the same fate as Washington State and Oregon State. So if you're Kansas State, if you're Iowa State, you get a crack at those guys before they leave.
You want to leave them with a lasting memory. So we're going to see lots of saltiness.
And then, yeah, the last 14 playoff, the last time some of these games at the end of the season are as big as they are because it knocks somebody out. Yeah, it's basically we're living in a house where mom and dad broke up, but no one's moved out yet.
Exactly. And it is.
Yeah, dad is. I don't know if dad's on the couch or in the spare room.
Like, I feel like in the Pac-12, dad's still sleeping in the same bed, and it's just all kinds of options. They have an open relationship in the Pac-12, but he's very clearly more in love with his secretary.
Yeah, dad's sleeping in a bed, and he's on Zillow every night before he goes to bed looking at homes in Piscataway. Yeah.
That's what he's doing. It's always Piscataway.
They get shit on. I respect Rutgers.
I respect Shea No Man.
I respect the program in Piscataway.
I don't like that they've become a punchline. But I do think that a lot of people are saying, okay, if you look at the SEC,
Georgia is going to be the prohibitive favorite.
They're probably going to be the favorite to win the national championship.
College football is kind of a foregone conclusion.
People are saying that they're missing the beauty,
which is that this is going to be utter chaos. If you don't like chaos, then you probably just don't like college football is kind of a foregone conclusion people are saying that they're missing the beauty which is that this is going to be utter chaos if you don't like chaos then you probably just don't like college football in general well exactly because there will be versions of chaos in probably every conference except maybe the sec because i look at the big 10 this year you know it's i don't even think it's just an ohio state michigan thing you know everybody's kind of come to terms with oh wait michigan's actually good it wasn't a fluke that they beat Ohio State two years in a row but the thing is like Penn State is loaded with freaky talent yeah this year like they could really be a Big Ten title contender and if you're a Big Ten title contender it means you could actually be a national title contender so you know it's it's it's gonna be one's going to be wild.
Like the ACC, you got Florida state saying, we got to get the hell out of this conference. Like their president said it out loud.
You've got, you've got George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice lobbying to try to get Stanford and SMU.
And is that true? Did W pick up the phone for SMU and, and called the ACC and he's like, Hey, take my boys? I wouldn't. Nothing would shock me at this point.
Yeah. And I tell you what, the SMU group, they are so great at rallying people.
Like every time they want something to happen, they will get politicians on the phone. They will get in Texas, they'll get legislative hearings called.
Like they'll have some committee. I remember when Texas and A&M and Texas Tech were looking at joining the PAC 10 years ago.
Like, this whole SMU group got everybody riled up and got a hearing called in the Texas legislature. And they're always looking for a way into that next conference because they still, like, the death penalty is still affecting them for almost 40 years later.
Yeah. And they feel like they got completely screwed in that.
And let's be perfectly honest, the NIL era was built for SMU. Yeah.
Like, they're ready to party. They got the money.
Like, 30 years ahead of their time. Kind of ironic that W would be against the death penalty in this situation, given his track record.
Yes. He killed a lot of people.
You want to start with Big Ten? Yeah, I was going to say Caleb Williams. Big Ten.
Let's start there. Big Ten quarterback, Caleb.
He's never going to play in the Big Ten. I know.
I know. It's a shame.
Yeah. But I was going to say I wanted to start with Caleb Williams.
Heisman, prohibitive favorite. Special, special player.
Last we saw him losing to Utah with the injury and everything. Does USC have a defense? Because I feel like this is going to be just Lincoln Riley every year.
The offensive is explosive, dynamic. They're going to win these big games where everyone's wowed by them.
And then they go up against a team like a Utah who wants to just punch you in the mouth and it all falls like a house of cards for them so they have tried to improve their body types on defense and and like they went to the transfer portal and they got Anthony Lucas from Texas A&M who was a freshman last year actually played very well there but uh family wanted him in a different different circumstance and wanted him somewhere else so he goes to USC. They pick up Bear Alexander, who was playing at Georgia as a true freshman on that defensive line.
And so they actually have guys that look the part now on the D-line, which is not something that USC or any of the defenses on previous Lincoln-Riley Oklahoma teams had before. And so I'm curious if that changes things a little bit, because while they're not as deep as a Georgia or an Alabama on that front, they got some stuff that a lot of the other teams don't have.
Now, Oregon has a little bit of that too, because Mario Cristobal was recruiting for them because Dan Lanning is their head coach now, and he was DC at Georgia so Oregon has some of that Washington has some of that but there's not a ton of that in the Pac-12 so it should help them theoretically but the question is are they going to be deep enough are they going to be physical enough in practice so that in November or in a Pac-12 championship game situation that they can tackle like the the tackling in the Pac-12 championship game against Utah last year was embarrassing. So bad.
And it looked like a team that doesn't hit very much at the end of the season. And then you see what Georgia does and what Alabama does and what Michigan does.
They look completely different. Yeah.
Yeah. You didn't even start out with the Big Ten quarterback with the most preseason Heisman hype.
That's nicks yeah from oregon bo nicks and cam rising back bo nicks with a giant billboard in times square is it in times square no it's not like gramercy this is the year it's like 23rd and park yeah so bo nicks uh being talked about for the is this the year that bo nicks finally puts it all together andy i feel like we've had this this exact conversation. So he was putting it together last year.
This was amazing to me because I saw this stat late in the season, and I started comparing, and I thought, this can't be real. His stats going into the Washington game last year, that's the one where he got dinged up and ended up losing.
But his stats going into that game, almost identical to Marcus Mariota in his Heisman season. And that was a dominant Heisman performance by Marcus Mariota.
So, I mean, Bo is a touchdown machine. And yeah, I mean, he's definitely matured.
The good Bo, bad Bo that you saw at Auburn, there's a lot less a bad Bo. And I like Oregon a lot.
You look at also what they've gotten through the transfer portal. Jordan Birch came from South Carolina, former five-star defensive line guy.
They have some guys that look like they could compete against anybody. And I know Georgia kicked the crap out of them last year.
I remember it. I watched.
But I'm telling you right now, they've improved that roster to the point where they could be competitive against playoff type teams. So they have to be more consistent because what happened last year against Washington shouldn't have happened.
And that you, maybe you chalk that up to Dan Lanning being a first year head coach. What happened to them against Oregon state was just embarrassing.
Oregon state ran the ball 17 times in a row while coming back from a deficit in the second half.
Like that,
this is emasculating. It is funny because the Pac-12 is the conference of quarterbacks you know because you got Cam Rising, Bo Nix, Caleb Williams, Cam Ward, like Michael Penix, all these guys.
This is – they have steady, sturdy quarterbacks, so it should be some really good football. Yeah, it is.
And you didn't mention Jaden DeLore at Arizona, who started before Cam Ward at Washington State, but he's pretty good. And then DJ Uyunglele, who's in Clemson, is at Oregon State now.
I wish DTR was still there. DTR is a guy that I wish played college football forever.
I saw DTR playing in the preseason. It was just like, God bless this.
This is only going to work in the preseason, but I'm glad he's getting his moment. Yes.
So I have a question about a team that somehow feels like it's getting forgotten. And maybe for good reason, because for the first time in what feels like, I don't know, a decade, Alabama doesn't have a surefire bona fide like this guy is a great quarterback.
Are we sleeping, though, on Bama? Because doesn't it feel like Nick Saban has – the defense is going to be very good. The offense line is going to be very good.
They're going to run the ball down your throat. It might be a throwback Alabama type of year.
Is there a little bit of like, oh, yeah, we've anointed Georgia good for good reason LSU is obviously on the come up with the year they had last year last year right yeah but is this is this going to be like a throwback Nick Saban like you're you're seeing it even with his buddy Bill Belichick in the NFL like they're gonna they're gonna zag now when everyone zigs with the spread it out oh yeah yeah there's there's a very big run the damn ball vibe coming out of alabama right now because that the front seven is very very good if you don't know the name jaheem otis yet you're going to this is a dude grew up in mississippi alabama offered him an eighth grade he showed up on campus weighing like 400 pounds they got him down to like 330 he's a monster on the defensive line but they've also got dallas turner and chris braswell who could get after the quarterback so the assumption that because will anderson's gone their pass rush is not as effective no it will be very effective where alabama got in trouble last year was their their dbs were not as as good as they usually are they were not as fast they usually are. And you saw that hurt them in games like Tennessee where you guys had Jalen Hyatt, maybe the fastest guy in the SEC, running straight at DeMarco Helms, who's a safety, and getting a 20-yard head start.
And what's DeMarco Helms supposed to do in that situation? So Alabama, I think, a little bit faster in the secondary across the board, very good in the front seven. They're big questions at quarterback.
They went and got Tyler Buckner as a transfer from Notre Dame, but he wasn't leaving a starting job there. Sam Hartman was going to be a starter at Notre Dame.
So Tommy Reese, who was Notre Dame's OC last year, is Alabama's OC this year. And he's got to pick a quarterback.
So you got Tyler Buckner,, who came from Notre Dame. You've got Jalen Milrow, who's the guy who started in place of Bryce Young against A&M last year.
And you've got Ty Simpson. Milrow, that Texas A&M game, if you're picking best athletes on a field, he would win every single time, but he can't throw the ball.
And that's the problem. He's a quarterback, too.
I caught a pass in that game I know you're gonna ask me the rowback question later I was wearing my rowback performance hoodie and I believe it it had something to do with it but Haynes King was playing quarterback at Texas A&M for in that game and he's at Georgia Tech now and we're they let you down on the field for the last five minutes if you're in the press box and so so in one hand, I had my phone. And I'm filming the play because it's a tight game coming down to the last drive.
And Haynes King gets chased, I want to say, by Willie Anderson. I think Willie Anderson was in his lap.
Throws the ball over the sideline. And all of a sudden, I see it coming.
And Texas A&M's athletic director, Ross Bjork, is standing in front he tries to catch it he's a former fullback so his hands are but I I got it while filming got it with my left hand so I you know I think that's when you ask the rowback question yeah there's my rowback endorsement for you yes you Odell Beckham did that's that's awesome and you get it on film um yes no, Milrow in that game, I'm surprised he didn't throw many passes either because he was spraying it all over. But I swear like that.
I, you know, now that I work for on three, we have all these team sites. I cruise the message boards quite a bit.
The Bama folks are convinced Milrow's the guy. Really? And it's, I don't know that i i have no way that's one of those like georgia carson beck's gonna be the guy but alabama i have no idea who the guy's your carson beck is just that just sounds like a good quarterback yeah georgia this is why alabama should run the triple option i've always wanted i was about to say like you want to do the ultimate zigwell everybody else eggs obviously with, with Tommy Reese, I guess he's no longer Tom Reese.
He was Tom Reese for like a week. No, he's back to Tommy.
You know, he must be young again. So, since they have him, they're probably not going to do it, but it would be sick if Nick Saban brought in an Army offensive coordinator and just fucked with everybody for a year.
Well, Army's not running the triple anymore, so they should steal it from them.
There's a name that you need to remember. Justice Haynes.
He's a
freshman running back in Alabama.
Steelers fans will remember
Ron Haynes. Georgia fans obviously remember
Ron Haynes. He played fullback
there and caught the
game-winning pass against Tennessee when Larry
Munson said, we stepped on their face
with a hobnail boot and broke their nose. Well, this is his kid.
Okay. And he is unbelievable.
So just get Justice Haynes, crank up the Heisman campaign for a couple years from now. So there's another quarterback in the SEC that I want to talk about because he's probably my favorite quarterback to watch in theory, and that's Bazooka Joe Milton, right? Yes.
Andyy did you know that he threw an orange 120 hearts nothing would shock me yeah but there's no joe milton throwing something like there is no joe milton projectile stat that will surprise me yeah before the orange bowl last year was the orangest orange bowl of all time clemson against tennessee they gave him an orange they said how far can you throw it he threw it which is just, he's a freak. He's an absolute freak.
He says that he can throw a football 90 yards. I don't know if that's true, but I guess I could believe it.
The problem is going to be like, can he direct where the ball is going at all? But I'm still excited to see what he does in that offense. Should Tennessee fans be excited about Bazooka Joe like I am? Yes, absolutely.
So I told Big Cat this when he came on my show earlier this week. I went to Tennessee a couple of springs ago, and this is when Hinton Hooker was still the starter.
And one of their coaches goes, okay, you're going to practice tomorrow, right? I said, yeah. He said, you're going to stand behind Joe Milton, and you're going to watch him throw a football, and you're going to say, this is the greatest quarterback I've ever seen in my life.
And the next day, I was behind Joe Milton. They were doing one of those coming out of your own end zone kind of situations.
So he takes a snap, drops back into the end zone, unleashes it like 60 yards down the field, dying. I'm like, yep, yep, best quarterback I've ever seen in my entire life.
But even though I've seen him at Michigan, I've seen him when he got the job at Tennessee and then gave it away to Hennon Hooker because he was air mailing balls in games. But that Orange Bowl, which was against a good Clemson defense, which was, you know, they didn't have a lot of opt-outs.
They were very well manned. He carved them up.
And so I'm fully in, fully believing, but I also know that Tennessee fans, if he does come out and you see the old Joe Milton appear, even in the Virginia game, he sees an opener, which they should win pretty easily against Virginia quarterback, Tony Musket, which is a great quarterback name for Virginia too. Exactly.
Yeah. Exactly.
The only one better would be Tony Blunderbuss. But the Joe Milton Heisman campaign, if he airmails like two balls in a row, is going to hit a brick wall.
And then the Tennessee fans will immediately be chanting for Nico Iyama-Mealava. And y'all remember the NIL story, the big NIL deal.
There's a dude who signed this huge NIL.
He's the guy.
And personality-wise, if there's anybody who can handle that sort of thing,
Nico seems to have the personality for it.
But they really do love this guy at Tennessee.
They think he can be a star.
I think they would love for Joe Milton to have a good year
so that Nico is not thrust into that and can develop. But he's an interesting one too because he's got a big arm.
He's 6'5 and fairly thin, but dad's like 320 pounds. Dad's a monster.
So at some point, Nico may be 6'5, 230 and just running dudes over with. Yes.
But Joe is already that. That's what Joe is.
Joe is Anthony Richardson. Maybe not quite as fast and without the backflips.
Yeah. I just, I could just watch him throw things.
Yeah. If he ends up not starting, they should just do like a Friday live stream.
We're just going to give him various things and see how far he can throw. Here's a cat.
Let's see if he can get it 30 yards in the air.
Here's a wrench.
I want to trust Joe Milton.
It's the Michigan, and it's the time that he went out of bounds on fourth down to end the game.
Those two things are in the back of my head where I'm like, I want to give it because he is so much fun to watch.
But those two things just stick in my head.
Big Cat, I'm a Florida grad.
I have to ask you a Wisconsin question. Yes.
Should Florida be trusting Graham Mertz? Oh, Mertz for Heisman. No.
I like Graham. He's a great kid.
Three years of history has told you that. He's a great kid, and I feel bad for him because it was tough for him because he had the start he had.
That Illinois game was basically a quarterback can't play more perfect football than what he did. The COVID year, we're all watching.
It was incredible. And he obviously has the tools, but just the decision-making is not always there.
And if you have that a couple times, it's the difference between winning seven eight games winning 10 games so i i'm rooting for him let's say that i'm rooting for him i do not want what i've gathered from talking to people around florida's program they love him right and everybody's excited he looks they understand yeah but it'll be a lot of you know montrell john Johnson and Trevor ETN who are very good running backs.
If they can run the ball a little bit,
maybe it takes some pressure off him,
but that's,
that seems to be the book on,
on grant.
Yeah.
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workout one also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com um all right so give us a team that you think is going to disappoint and a team that you think is going to surprise. So the one I, I need to see them do this because the expectations are sky high again.
And it's like, we talk ourselves into this every single year without them ever showing us they can do this on the field is Texas. Texas is going to be favored to win the big 12.
They're probably going to be favored in 11 of 12 games, probably every game but Alabama. They actually have quite a bit of NFL talent this year, which I know everybody's like, oh, Texas has five-star recruits every year.
They've not put out a ton of NFL talent in the last 10 years. This time they haven't.
They've got a bunch of guys the NFL people like. So there's really no excuse for them not to close out their time in the Big 12 with a title.
But I've seen too many times, and it's not just Steve Sarkeesian. It's when Tom Herman was coaching him, when Charlie Strong was coaching him, where they roll in to play somebody who they're clearly more talented than.
Last year it was Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. And they just find a way to lose.
And I need to see them win these games before I can believe. And so like their total is nine and a half.
I picked the under and everybody went nuts. And look, feel free to clown me if Texas rolls to a Big 12 title.
Great. That's what Texas should be doing.
And as they go into the SEC, they'll be in good shape. But until we see them do that with the games that they should win, where they are more talented than the opponent, I can't believe yet because I've been fooled so many times.
So, like, beat Kansas State, beat TCU, beat Iowa State, beat Texas Tech. Then we can talk.
Yeah, going back to even, like, Mack Brown when he was at Texas in his last couple years, he would just get five stars on five stars on five stars and then not develop them to the level that, like, I remember they had Malcolm Brown and Jonathan Gray at running back. And and everybody in the country was saying these are the best two running back prospects that we've seen in the last you know 10 15 years ricky williams we got two ricky williams is on our roster right now they don't turn them out i will give you a counterpoint though why uh or i guess maybe in your favor why maybe you would look to fade texas, and that is Quinn Ewers cut his mullet, which is disturbing.
I was very disappointed in that.
He said it was about leadership.
Listen, the mullet exudes leadership.
It is business up front still.
Yeah, that's true.
Why would you cut it off?
You're not losing the business if you have the party.
Yeah.
And a lot of people are talking about Arch Manning as a highly touted recruit coming in. Obviously, he's got everything in the world going for him.
But if you're plugged in on the 40 acres like we are, Andy, you know that Malik Murphy is a dog. And a lot of people in Austin are saying...
Malik Murphy is good, but... Okay.
Before we go too far with the Malik Murphy, if Quinn were to go down or a Quinn were to have problems, you might see arch. Yeah.
You think so? You think he's going to beat up Malik? I think there's a good chance. Hmm.
Interesting. I also think it's just going to be everyone just clamoring for him too.
I don't even think it's that. I think they'll play whoever they think is better.
And you know, the one thing with Arch is they're not going to pressure like the family in that. They're not going to pressure anybody to play him.
They seem to go in with a pretty mature plan for him and are perfectly accepting of if he needs a year or so to win that job. But it may be that he develops faster and they feel like he's he's ready.
So that one, I'll be curious to see if Sark announces who the backup is
and who the third guy is.
But you saw Quinn get hurt in the Alabama game.
So in game two last year.
They would have won that game.
And forced Hudson Card to play.
Yeah.
So I will be very curious to see who goes in second
if something happens with Quinn Ewers.
All right.
So and then the flip side, a team that you think is going to surprise people, that no one's talking about. I think people in the SEC are talking about this.
I don't know about nationally, but Kentucky seems to have fixed a lot of the things that caused problems last year, where they just, the offense didn't quite work. They had lost Liam Cohn to the Rams.
He comes back as the OC. This is the same guy that had Will Levis the first year Levis was at Kentucky.
So they've got Devin Leary now, who was the NC State quarterback for a long time. And it actually went into last season as, you know, NC State was a Mountain Heisman campaign for him.
He was coming off a really good 2021, but he had a shoulder injury and had to have surgery. So they could be quite a bit better.
They have some very good young receivers in Dane Key and Barry and Brown, hopefully better on the offensive line. That will be a big one for them is they just have gone kind of downhill in that department, but they've recruited well over the years.
So you think it'll come back around. And so that's one that if you're Tennessee, if you're Florida, if you're South Carolina, you're worried about them being considerably better than they were last year.
Right. Okay.
Should we talk a little Big Ten? It's going to be fun. Michigan, this is the best chance Michigan has to win a national championship.
It feels like this is the culmination of everything Harbaugh's built the last two years going to the college football playoff, beating Ohio State. But in the back of my head, I'm like, and this is going against what we historically know because what we historically know is Penn State plays Ohio State well and then gets killed by Michigan.
But Penn State feels like they also, like it's going to be a very fun east with those three teams and how it all shakes out and uh so what are your thoughts on that so Penn State gets killed by Michigan in Ann Arbor for that game to state college yeah and that and then and that's honestly it's as simplistic as that is I don't I can't explain why they can't play in Ann Arbor, but they can't. And so when Michigan comes to State College, Penn State has a chance.
And for whatever reason, Penn State always plays Ohio State tough no matter where they're playing. So that game's in Columbus, but I expect that to be a close game.
I'd probably still say Ohio State's the winner if you ask me to pick a winner right now but I would expect it to be competitive but Penn State yeah they're different different animal this year now Michigan is loaded with NFL talent Jim Harbaugh told my friend Bruce Feldman he thinks 20 guys are gonna get drafted off this roster which seems slightly aggressive but like Jim Nagy from the senior bowl said he thinks there's seven offensive linemen who are draft eligibles that's not including freshmen and sophomores some of which are good too who he thinks will be in NFL camps next year wow dudes that aren't even going to start wow and that is a lot of talent and and a lot of really good development that Michigan staff has done so I like I don't think Michigan beating Ohio State the last two years is a fluke. I need to see Ohio State beat them to prove that they can.
I do feel like Ohio State has built a little more to play on carpet in a dome. And if you play that game again on carpet in a dome, which you might be doing once the divisions go away in the Big Ten championship game.
Maybe Ohio State is better suited for that. But in November, in the cold, Michigan's built for this now.
It was either you or your former co-host Ari Wasserman said it perfectly that Ohio State has spent all these years building a program to beat SEC while Michigan built a program to beat Ohio State. To beat Ohio State.
And we had a commenter who was even better. He said, Ohio State, this is 0-0-2-2-4 on YouTube.
Ohio State is built to hang 50 on Michigan State, and Michigan's built to beat Ohio State. Right.
And it happened last year where you saw Ohio State put the – they easily could have won that game against the national champion Georgia, and it wasn't a fluke that Michigan bullied them around again. Well, and Ohio State, if they get a little bit better defensively, they can win the national championship.
That's the thing. And they'll have a new quarterback this year, but with that receiving core, we would throw for 3,500 yards in that offense.
So it's the defense, and stop giving up such big plays. Like that Michigan game, the two Cornelius Johnson touchdowns, like how in the world did you let that happen? Yeah, they need another Bosa brother.
It makes no sense. They need another Bosa brother.
They've got to find another Bosa brother somewhere. It's that simple sometimes.
They are not. It's interesting because that factory does.
It feels like the Bosa brothers chase young. But JT to him allow is a pretty damn good pass rusher.
You saw him in the Penn State game last year. If he can have more games like that, they're okay.
So what's going to happen with Harbaugh? I've heard. We've all heard the four game story.
Now it seems like the NCAA, the negotiations have broken down, which that's still puzzling to me that you negotiate the suspension with a team. But that's like the 200th most weird out-of-control thing that the NCAA does.
So is Harbaugh – how many games is he actually going to be able to coach this year, in your opinion? He'll coach all the games this year because basically – so the committee on infraction, so this would be equivalent and, and there you it's don't do too much real world justice, NCAA equivalency, but it would basically be the equivalent of the defense and the prosecutor agreed on a plea deal and the judge rejected it. That's, that's what happened.
They were going to do a four game suspension and the committee on infractions, which is the one that hears the case. It's like, nah, which means they've already decided they want to punish him more than that.
Right. So, but, but now the timing always drags out in NCAA land.
So they wouldn't even have the hearing probably till after the season. You wouldn't find out the results of that till months after that.
So Jim Harbaugh, you know, he may be the NFL by that point. He's flirted with it two years in a row or i can see him just double middle fingering them and they say okay you're gonna we're gonna suspend you for six games and be like fine i'll sit out and then i'll kick you out you know kick everybody's ass when i get back yeah yeah it is funny how the ncaa and the nfl does this too they think that they're a branch of law enforcement they think that they're actually like the justice system and they have all these hearings the atf and at the end of the day they're just all making up the rules as they go along yeah yeah the harbaugh thing though i do wonder because he has you know he talked to the vikings two years ago he talked to the broncos this past year it's not like he's a guy who is has been a great college coach and we kind of wonder if he could do it in the nfl he took a team to the freaking Super Bowl.
Yeah, he's a great coach. He took the 49ers to multiple NFC Championship games.
Yes, he is a great coach, period. Yeah, so the Michigan fans get mad when you bring this up.
Like, oh, this might push him to the NFL. They're like, how can you say that? I'm like, well, he keeps trying to go there anyway.
So why is this surprising to you?
But if I'm him, I'm like, to hell with this.
Because the situation is he – now there's multiple facets to this case,
but the Harbaugh part is this is during COVID.
You weren't supposed to have any visitors on campus.
Some folks were coming onto campus to just visit, see the campus. These were committed players that already planned to sign with Michigan and they'd driven a long way.
And basically he's like, well, I'm going to go see him. And you were not supposed to do that.
And so he, they went to a burger place. He actually, I, from what are the guys that are Michigan site, the Wolverine have told me he didn't pay for the burgers because he's Jim Harbaugh and it's free, but he put a tip down.
And that's where the receipt came from that they hit him with when they're saying, did you do this? Because he's doing what every defense lawyer will tell you. I don't recall.
And they hit him with the receipt and he still said, I don't recall. And so now they say that he's giving false or misleading information and that's what they're
actually going to try him for as opposed to it's not the burgers yeah it's saying i don't recall about the burgers which is yeah this is just such a stupid conversation to be having he went out to lunch with players that are going to play for him there should be somebody in the room with common sense and the ncaa doesn't have any of that i've always said the ncaa should have a vp of common sense. They don't
clearly, but
yeah, I
this is weird because Jim Trestle at Ohio state essentially got fired over the same thing. He lied to the investigators about knowing that some of his players were trading their stuff for tattoos and cash and stuff.
And I wonder if the NCAA people, like the enforcement staff, who honestly, they're probably having an existential crisis because what do they do anymore? Like their job for years and years was to keep players from getting paid. They can't stop that now.
So now they're going to try to hammer every coach they can. But maybe they just don't need to exist.
Maybe the enforcement department of the NCAA needs to worry about other things.
They've got to save their job.
Defund.
Yeah.
I have a couple more questions.
Clemson, Dabo, Hot Seat.
No, definitely not.
Come on.
But I'm intrigued because he's brought in Garrett Riley as offensive coordinator.
So Garrett Riley was the OC for TCU. He's the younger brother of Lincoln Riley, the USC coach.
Every time Dabo's brought new ideas into Clemson, Clemson has gotten better. I was a little worried last year when both coordinators left, Clemson promoted from within.
And it's like, okay, are you sure what you're doing is going to keep you on pace to compete for national titles? And they look stale offensively last year. They look fine defensively, but they look stale offensively.
So now they're bringing in new ideas. But I do wonder, you know, from a talent standpoint on offense, I don't worry about their defense.
I think they're going to be fine there. Do they have the playmakers beyond Will Shipley? And, you know, are they going to have the the receiving core because remember they think about who they used to have at receiver when they had you know pre-injury justin ross and t higgins and mike williams and sammy watkins and do they have any special receivers like that because that's they're going to need that to to get back to where they were yeah I would say yes, hot seat for Dabo, by the way.
Because in his own words,
he said he would quit coaching college football
if the players got paid.
It's true.
He put himself on the hot seat, Andy.
Well, the former Big Ten commissioner said
they were going to go D3.
And shockingly, they haven't.
They've just signed a larger TV deal.
Yeah, it's easy to say stuff.
A lot of people say a lot of things sometimes.
That's the basis of this show.
That's very true.
Just back to the Big Ten real quick. There's one more name I want to talk about.
You know I'm a big fullback guy. We're a big fullback podcast.
We do the Lomand Trophy for the nation's top college fullback. You are a voter.
You're on the committee for the Lomand Trophy. Oh, yeah.
There's one person and one person only on my personal preseason watch list, and that's Hayden Large from Iowa. Of course you could call iowa fullback you wisconsin might have a claim to that too army probably has a claim to that um hayden large is six foot five a massive fucking fullback that's insane it's insane that this guy's playing fullback is he going to be able to get low enough to be a proper fullback because we we all know low man wins.
Transfer from Dort College. I'm sure you followed them closely over the years.
Now, this is, but this is what I've been wondering why we don't see this more. Because this is a tight end playing fullback, essentially.
And, you know, you have people who have H-backs who are essentially tight ends that will come into the backfield and do some things. But why not? Because the fullback position has sort of been schemed out of existence in most places.
Why not just have your tight end body types doing that stuff? Why can't the tight end every once in a while just line up in front of the tailback with the quarterback under center. And now you're in the I formation.
Why can't you just do that? And so I like I'm rooting for Hayden large because I think it will open up a new world of offensive football because these guys don't want to go recruit fullbacks. They don't want to, they don't have to find them.
They don't really exist anymore in high school football. You got to find a linebacker and then move him.
So everybody wants to play tight end now.
Everybody's watching George Kittle and Kelsey, and they want to do that.
So just make them do it.
They like to block for the most part.
Put them in a three-point stance and let them lead on somebody. So are you telling me that having like a giant person that weighs a lot of weight
blocking you is more effective sometimes than having a shorter person that's very heavy? Well, you know, it's just sad because leverage though. Yeah.
The leverage. Exactly.
It's sad because like there's, it's almost like there's no room in college football for like a five, 10 guy that weighs two 70. I do worry about the short Kings, but I think I still feel like there is room because like, there's always going to be a Mac team that has a five, 10, 315 pound nose guard.
And he's going to hit any convention, bench press 550 pounds. And like, it's though, there will always be somewhere for that person to play because yes, the Georgia is the Ohio States of the world.
They need those perfect NFL-ready bodies. But everybody else, you need somebody who either can block or can't be blocked.
And so even if you're not the prettiest package, you're still useful to those guys. So PFT, I think the short kings still have a place in the game.
I'm glad to hear that. We saw it a year ago.
We're talking about big guys playing fullback. Hunter Lepke, obviously, great fullback, won the award.
But there was one play where Jalen Carter stepped in at fullback for Georgia and just took out three guys. And you're like, oh, yeah, maybe just having the biggest person you can find laying blocks.
That can work sometimes. The biggest, fastest, strongest, most explosive player on your team if you're on the goal line and you would like them to knock some people over.
Not a bad idea. I love the phrase, you just got to find someone who can block or can't be blocked.
Put that on a board and put it behind your office. I don't want to see that in a barstool store.
We're going to put that in the on-through store. As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept.
But you know what isn't hard to accept?
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Two part question.
Give me the final four.
And then also if you have a week zero bet that we can bet.
Oh, okay.
So final four, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go Georgia, Michigan. Where am I going to see? I owe my former cut.
My former co-host already watched him a thousand bucks. If USC makes the playoff, but I do think they might be able to do it.
Okay. But no, I'm going to go Oregon.
I'm going to say-12 okay first pac-12 playoff participants since 2016 and then the league goes yep and then alabama okay so two teams george and alabama play for the sec championship and alabama doesn't win it but makes the playoff anyway so two big 10 teams two sec teams i like that essentially yeah oh yeah and then week zero pick anything you like i kind of like notre dame to cover really against navy and i realize it's 20 and a half but i i i'm i'm excited to see sam harvin in that notre dame offense you in defense of that pick because i navy does feel like they always play notre dame close but when you have an entire off season to to get ready for the triple option it's different than when you schedule Navy like week six yeah you you have a and you have the buffer you're you know you're going to Ireland so everybody's going to be all up you know Guinness everywhere hopefully they don't run out of beer like they did last time remember that the I guess the credit card machine stopped machine stopped working. So they just started giving beer away and the Nebraska fans are like, all right.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. I was just in Ireland.
They're very excited about college football over there. You can feel, you can tell.
I saw blue mountains at the, at the wedding reception in Ireland. That's impressive.
So it was weird. Cause in Ireland, obviously the Guinness is fantastic over there.
Drank a lot of that.
But on every tap, they have like Guinness.
They'll have a cider.
And then they'll have Coors Light.
Coors Light is like the most prevalent American beer in Ireland. Taking over the world.
It's awesome.
It's because of you guys.
It's the billion downloads.
The mountains are green.
Yes.
Well, Andy, thank you as always.
We'll have you back on later on in the season.
You are the best. I just there was a moment there where you were talking about Ohio State, Penn State, and Michigan that I just got like a little like smile creeping over my face.
I'm like, oh, yeah, we're here. We're so close now.
We are just days away. It's the best.
It's going to be here. It's the best.
We have the whole thing in front of us. Nothing better.
So andy everyone go subscribe to this podcast uh on the on three network and uh we'll talk to you soon thanks guys see you andy rated t for teen my name is paul hayman special counsel to roman reigns and the bloodlines wise man step out of the ropes and onto the island in wwe 2k25 an epic wwe themed world ruled by the one and only roman reigns the return of promos plus intergender matches my gm goes multiplayer and more wwe 2k25 available now and now here's Mount Rushmore of ass kickings.
Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
Let's have a good Mount Rushmore.
Trilogies was...
It was.
We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of ass kickings.
Very open-ended.
Who do you think won Trilogies?
I don't know.
I have no idea. think no i don't
the losers were the awls oh come on uh ass kickings mount rushmore of ass kickings i have high hopes for this one i think there's some great things that we can throw out there who goes first it's gonna be me and billy in this case me and memes hank and max big cat and pft Okay, I love being last.
Let's go.
Okay.
Ass kickings.
Anything is on the table.
Yeah. Billy in this case me and memes Hank and Max become PFT okay I love being last let's go okay ass kickings anything is on the table yes with the first overall kick pick kick oh it's kick it's an ass kick oh yeah true uh with the first overall pick we're gonna go with USA over England in 1776 all right okay there's some back and forth there the French helped too yeah but everyone on but everyone on America's side like, yeah, we crushed them.
We lost a lot of lives. Yeah, we did.
A lot of good mustard balls. Yeah, we kicked their ass.
Okay. Yeah, I don't.
Yeah, okay. From the American perspective.
Yeah. I feel like it was a struggle, but yeah.
We had to fucking sneak attack them across the river when is a win was it didn't they didn't they then win the rematch 1812 that was more of a stalemate yeah okay all right seems like a pander pick pander to who americans yes yeah the people who've every pick is a pander pick to americans well not really really. Speaking of that.
We have Nazi Germany versus France.
I'm about to go with an anti-American pick.
Okay.
Even Drago versus Apollo Creed.
Oh, that was an ass kick.
He literally killed him.
He killed him, yeah.
The biggest ass kick of all time.
Yeah, spoiler.
Kills Apollo Creed.
And then Adonis Creed becomes a beast. Okay.
Watch that movie on the plane. All right, PFT.
We have our whole board. We do.
It's a good-looking, juicy board. It's a good-looking, juicy board.
I kind of want to go 9-12, but I'll hear whatever. Go 9-11.
You're a big 9-11 guy? If it's your first picks, it should just be 1-2 right no because we know that you'll never get one but you should just like come in like okay if this is on the board you go 9 okay the 2000 US Open Tiger Woods winning by 15 strokes that's an insane number what's great about this is it wasn't like one person kicking another guy's ass. It was one person kicking everybody's ass.
15 strokes is such a fucking out. Like, that's silly.
He kicked the course's ass. Yeah.
So that's our first pick. What do you think about that, Max? It's a good pick.
You should have been prepared for it right off the get. I was now we go you want to go 12 or 15 big cat well if we want to uh 12 i guess okay secretariat winning by 31 lengths at the belmont 31 like 31 that's links.
That's 31 horses. Insane.
There was 31 horses in between him and the second horse. Insane.
To win the triple crown. Best athlete of all time.
All time. What? You don't like that pick? That's a good pick.
Why'd you give the face? Explain the face. It's a podcast.
It's a podcast. Me and Max met, and we got a lot of lists for the other two, and this one we don't have much.
Oh, that was your own.
So that wasn't a face to the pick.
It was a face to the pick.
No, yeah.
But Trilogy's, you only had three picks.
No, we had it.
Sounds like you just did the – it's okay.
You can show me.
I won't take it.
We have 15 selections.
Yeah, we have three.
Okay.
And the second one's not as good as those two, but it's great, actually.
Hank versus the written word. And the second one's not as good as those two, but it's great, actually.
Hank versus the written word. And spoken.
Jason Baratek versus A-Rod. Oh.
Okay. Oh, is that really an ass kicking? Yeah.
Was that the same fight where they beat up Don Zimmer? Oh, Jake was so upset about that. That was so uncalled.
Well, he shouldn't have come out of the dugout. He should have come out of the dugout.
I wanted to say that. Pedro could stand his ground.
That was well within his rights. For the record, it was not.
It was actually different years. He beat the shit out of Don Zimmer.
The old man should not have come out of the dugout. That's a fact we can all agree upon.
That was a tough sight for anyone. It was just very comfortable.
For Yankees fans, fans yeah you got bodied yeah but your old man just got fucking smoked watching your grandfather get beaten with a stick yeah like he's wearing a uniform how is pedro supposed to know he wasn't a player yeah good point he looked like blair okay that one yeah that one was uncouth yeah um next we're gonna go with seahawks over broncos in the super bowl yeah pick it's the only super bowl that i can recall from my time of i said this and hank scoff and it was a score got me it was a score got me 43 day destruction i had a i had a super bowl and I bet a lot on the Broncos, and I ended that Super Bowl party early. Everyone get out of my house.
I also had the Broncos in that game. It was like, this is Peyton Manning.
This is Peyton Manning's year. This offense is so good.
That's when he set the record, right? Yeah, and then the first snap of the game was a safety. Yeah.
And it was like, well, this game's over. Yeah.
Okay, good pick. This next pick.
It's fictional. Oh.
He's already saying it's a bad pick. Bob Barker versus Happy Gilmore.
Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.
Got his ass kicked. Yeah.
Both people got some licks in there. What'd you say? Both fighters got some licks.
Did Happy Gilmore die? Okay. Alright.
Hank, Max, you have nothing left? No, let's go with it. Oh, I like it.
Go full said. What's the year? What's the year? Georgia Tech 222 to nothing.
The coach said he was trying to get revenge because they lost like 19 to nothing in a baseball game, which apparently he coached the baseball team too. So it was a football revenge for a baseball game the previous spring.
What's your favorite memory from that game? Probably like the 17th or 18th touchdown. Cumberland College had negative 96 rushing yards.
That's despicable.
And negative 82 total yards.
Do they count sacks
and negative rushing yards?
Is that why?
I don't know.
They didn't count sacks back then.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
A sack would count then as...
Georgia Tech also had
zero passing yards.
They didn't throw the ball one time.
They just ran.
That is an ass-kicking.
That is an ass-kicking. Okay.
We have our last two picks. Should we go 14-15? What's the one you said we're never going to pick? No, no.
We should go 15-1. Okay.
All right. Great.
So I'll do 15? Yeah. All right.
Nolan Ryan versus Robin Ventura. Ass kicking.
Nolan Ryan, the old man. He was what, like 40? Something like that.
Robin Ventura Nolan Ryan the old man He was what like 40 Something like that Robin Ventura was a spry Young 20s Much bigger than Nolan Ryan And Nolan Ryan just grabbed him in a headlock And beat the shit out of him It was great And the one that no one was going to pick But I do actually think it is a 1-1 Ass kicking It is Trump and the Republican debates. Trump versus all the other Republicans.
And you guys thought we were pander. No, that's not a pander pick at all.
He just fucking smoked him. He was like, you're gay.
Chris Christie, you're gay. Rand, you're gay and small.
And there's a woman here. Who cares? Disgusting.
You guys would use Trump to try and get votes. No, I mean, that was an ass kicking.
We would never do that. Was it or was it not an ass kicking? It was an ass kicking.
It was the definition of an ass kicking. Take everything out.
What he did to the other Republicans. He ended all their careers.
Yeah. Ted Cruz, your wife's ugly.
Yeah. You're short.
Yeah. Ted Cruz, your dad killed JFK.
Yeah Rubio's got a small penis. Little Marco Rubio with his tiny little Marco penis.
He just great school bullied them all. It was a total ass kicking.
Do you not agree, Hank? No, it was. It's a good fix.
Annihilation. It's great ass kicking.
Okay. It's us? Yeah, I think so.
I mean, are you stalling or you don't know if it's you this is big time getting called in class energy like what no i didn't have my hand raised i would say uh this mount rushmore versus hank and max okay come on we're gonna go any other ones yeah I mean this one I'm surprised no one else took this what are we
what are we going with? Villanova versus Oklahoma in the Final Four. Oh, yeah.
Who could forget? I was there. We were there, too.
Oh, you guys were there? Yeah. Were we? Yeah.
It was an ass-kicking? Yeah, it was the biggest blowout in Final Four history, I think. No, we were in the hotel room.
Okay, yeah. We went to the final in San Antonio.
Because Syracuse played UNC after. And that was also a blowout in Final Four history.
No, we were in the hotel room. We went to the final in San Antonio.
Because Syracuse played UNC after.
And that was also a blowout.
And then I left early.
No, Syracuse did not play UNC after.
They played Michigan.
They played Michigan, I thought.
If you're thinking of 2013, this is 2016.
So we weren't there.
Nope.
Wait, we were there.
I was there in 2016.
2016 was Houston.
Villanova, Oklahoma.
Buddy Hield. What was the one? I was there with Caleb.
Syracuse, Michigan was 2013. I was at in 2016.
2016 was Houston. I was there.
What was the one? I was there with Caleb. Michigan was 2013.
I was at that game. Don't remember for a second.
San Antonio when we left at halftime? I was at that game. Villanova beat Oklahoma by 44 points.
In what year? 2016. Yeah.
Right. Which was? I think you're thinking of Villanova also won it all in 2018.
In 2018, they covered every spread by over 10 points. You're thinking of 2018.
But that was Loyola, and Michigan was there, too. Everyone remembers 2016.
Okay. Yeah.
2018, that was where DiVincenzo went nuts. This is such a good pick, we can't figure out the year.
Okay. I knew the year.
I know the year. You're a Villanova fan.
Villanova's kicked a lot of ass over the years. All right, so you guys, a semifinal game.
Final four. Jake, what was the stat you said? Is that not the semifinals? I think it was a big sport in a final four.
Got it. Final four is a pretty big sporting event.
Been a lot of teams, a lot of games. We had another college basketball game that was saying honorable mentions.
Okay. I bet you're going to say that.
Okay. Also not a final.
Oh, fuck. Something that people would remember more.
I know what you're thinking. Let's finish the picks.
we're going to go with Joey Chestnut in every Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Except for the one he lost? So you're picking the one he lost as well? No.
He lost multiple ones. You can't say every.
You can't say every one. If he lost a couple.
2021 world record 76. Joey Chestnut in 2021 hot dog eating contest.
Because he did lose a couple. Okay.
Okay. What else we got? Honorable mention time.
Honorable mention time. We don't have any.
Other college. The other college basketball one, which is, people forget that as well.
No. Oh, I thought you were going to say that.
UMBC beat Virginia by 20. 74-54.
20. A 16 over one.
It wasn't just a fluky upset. I thought you were going to say UNLV versus Duke.
Yeah, that one too. We had Wisconsin versus Will Compton.
Yep. That was an ass kicking.
They had like three running backs that had over 150 yards, right? Yes, yes. And in unbiased, I'm showing them unbiased, Ohio State versus Wisconsin in the Big Ten championship game, 59-0, which we did on purpose because we needed to get a Big Ten team into the title, into the Final Four, and then Ohio State won it all.
Was that Cardale? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that was bad. I was on a bachelor party with all my college buddies, and we rented a room at the sportsbook, and that sucked.
That's tough. Yeah.
That's tough.
We had SEAL Team 6 versus Osama Bin Laden.
Yep.
That was an ass whooping.
Yep.
85 Bears versus Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Also, Cowboys versus the Bills in the Super Bowl, the last one.
Georgia TCU.
Yep, Georgia TCU this year.
96 Bulls just the entire year. Mike Tyson, 30-second knockout.
Yeah, there's a lot of asking. McGregor Aldo.
What? McGregor Aldo. Yep, that's a good one.
Anyone beating cancer. Kick cancer's ass.
Neem said Oklahoma State wrestlers in that bathroom. Yeah, that was an ass-kicking.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was an ass-kicking.
Hitler versus the Soviet Union in wintertime. Wintertime being the ass-kicking.
What else? Was there any others? Oh, did we say SEAL Team 6 versus some of them? Yeah. That was an ass-kicking.
Mike Tyson. Yeah.
Just take your pick. There's some good ones.
Jake versus Hank in ping pong.
Yeah, that was an ass-kicking.
That was an ass-kicking.
It was close.
It was like 218 kicked his ass.
You kicked your ass.
Jake versus my back.
Jake versus your back.
Max versus happiness.
Max versus first place.
That sounded personal.
Max was very happy the night before the Super Bowl. That's was jake good point good point all this first happiness really yeah except hank pretty much everyone first happiness sports happiness it's an ass kicking every single year that's okay uh okay oh also i the what was the year was it the Lakers one year? Only lost once in one of the Shaq-Kobe years.
Oh, I was going to – the Pistons versus the Lakers. Yeah.
The Pistons kicked their ass in the finals. That was the gentleman's sweep, right? Yeah.
Yeah. The Lakers versus the Nuggets this year, but the Lakers kicked the Nuggets ass if you didn't count the games.
Yep. All right.
Good Mount Rushmore. Feel good about that one.
Any other last ones? No? All right. No Bowl is known for their best-in-class award-winning footwear with options across training and lifestyle.
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Okay, let's wrap up the show with a little Fire Fest.
Big week of guests coming next week.
We got some work we got to do tomorrow.
And I think we're going to have our good friend Tom Franelli stop in the studio at some point next week.
Very excited about that.
College football.
What?
That's awesome. Yeah, you and Tom in the same room.
Why do we need Tom if we got Hank? Yeah, I might not be there that day. Okay.
Okay. Interesting.
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm. Okay.
Hank, Fyre Fest. Yeah, I alluded to this earlier, but this is really just a testament to our friend Paul Bissonette just being a great guy because it could have been a much bigger Fyre Fest.
Was out after the awards at a bar. Was in a lift.
Came back to the hotel. Biz and Grinnell were hanging out, steaming some lettuce, yapping it up.
Vitamins? Got out of the lift. Got out of the lift and was chatting it up with them.
And they're like, oh, there's a bar down the street.
So we were about to go.
And then I realized I left my phone in the Lyft.
Oh.
And I was like, fuck.
I think I can go get my laptop and log in there to try and get it back.
It's a young hate move. And Grinnell and Biz were like, no, we'll call it.
We'll call it.
We'll get it back.
We'll wait for it.
And they called a few times.
Didn't answer.
And Biz was like, I'm going to go to bed. And he went upstairs.
Finally, Grinnell, last call. The guy answers, comes back, gave him some cash, got my phone back.
So it wasn't too bad of a situation. It could have been a lot worse.
But an hour later in my hotel, Biz kept calling just as a guy to, like, try and help me get my my phone back so we call and i was like hello he's like oh you got it back i was like yeah i was like thanks biz like it was just a very very very nice thing to do ride or die you think biz forgot that you got your phone back and that's no he didn't know he went upstairs okay so he was like all right good night like good luck went upstairs and then grinnell like literally as we're walking to the hotel like he we were like going to the elevators he called one last time and he answered and we went and got it biz wasn't there for that got it so biz just kept was just sitting in his hotel room at a 1 a.m just like trying to help me get my phone back just class act class guy yeah that's huge he didn't have to do that he didn't like when didn't. When I got the call, it was like an hour and a half later.
And I was like, hello?
He's like, oh, you got it back.
I was just trying to reach the guy.
What a move.
I was like, thanks, Biz.
You're the man.
Yeah.
Good guy.
That is a great guy.
Great guy.
Ride or die.
Locker room guy.
Can't wait for the Tuca interview.
Yeah, very excited about that. Yeah, we just did it.
Let's put out that whole clip uh all right pft uh my fighter fest of the week it it goes back to last saturday so last saturday went over to hank's went over to hank's apartment which is wonderful condo excuse me uh It overlooks Michigan And they had the air and water show in Chicago Which was a blast It was fucking awesome the planes were incredible It was bad It's bad and I'm just Out there on the balcony like a two year old Watching these planes like a two year old that sees A fire truck going down the street that was me for like two hours just like cheering for the planes i was like let's fucking go planes yes take a video and i wanted to share the video on social media and the the video was one of the coolest parts of the show where the planes like flew past hank's condo converged flew away i put out the video and i was maybe flexing a little bit of my plane knowledge at the time and trying to flex trying to flex and i said uh look at these sweet third generation air-to-air and air-to-ground dual-use combat third generation f-18 hornets how awesome is how awesome how awesome is that about 30 seconds later i realized that those were not f-18 Hornets at all. And they were the F-16 Eagles.
They don't even look alike at all. One is dual engine.
One is single engine. The wings look completely different.
It was a rookie mistake. And I've just been exposed for being a plane fraud.
And I feel, I mean, what else can I say? I'm a fucking fraud. If I can't tell the difference between f-16 f-18 plane twitter was very very upset with me saying i don't know ball it was like day one stuff it was day one it is you learned that flight school it's day zero stuff yeah if you're going to get into a plane um and so i just i gotta start training for next year's aaron water show so i don't make the same rookie mistake again because it's it's fucking embarrassing.
It really is.
That's super embarrassing.
It'd be like if I had a picture of a football and had the white stripes on it. And I was like, look at this.
Look at this authentic game use NFL football.
You know, like people be like, yo, bro, that's college football.
You should not think of a mistake.
You should just not admit defeat and just argue with everyone.
Like what's that guy's name?
Steven Ruiz, who got in a fight with Mitchell Schwartz about coverage, about protection. Yeah.
He's like, you're literally arguing with a guy who played for the Kansas City Chiefs and won a Super Bowl. Like, just keep going.
Yeah, just double down. You don't know what you're talking about.
That's the brand new F-18 Z Hornet that you probably haven't even seen yet, but only I've seen it. Some, like, 20-year military vets like, you're wrong, PFT.
Like, no, you're wrong. What would you know? I watched the tape.
Yeah, it was just a real humbling moment, especially for me. I profess to be a plane guy, and I've just been exposed as being a complete and utter fraud when it comes.
I own both of those planes, by the way. It was a day-roiner.
It was a day-roiner. I sat down, and I was like, oh, no.
What have I done? So, yeah, I'm a fraud. I'm a plain fraud.
Yeah. All right.
Mine goes back to what we were talking about with us dressing up. We were here for the award show.
I ordered a suit MB who does a great job for us. She's the best.
Ask for my suit measurements. I'm a 38-year-old man who doesn't know his suit measurements,
so I guessed on everything, and it was so off.
I guess it's good that I guessed bigger
because I've never put on a suit that didn't fit the other way,
but it didn't fit the other way.
And then I had to have...
You looked like Tracy McGrady.
Yeah, the coat was like you could have fit me and Max in the coat.
It was insane.
And then I had... Would you say like 50.
I think I said 50. I think I said 52.
Maybe it's crazy. It was insane.
Insane misjudgment by me. And then I had to buy a new suit.
And I have Daniela, who is great, also works at Barstool, helped me with that. And I showed up to the suit store and the guys asked me all these questions like, what style do you like? And I was like, dude, I just need a fucking suit.
I don't really understand this. It cost me a thousand bucks.
I probably will never wear it again. I'm just not a suit guy, and I feel like we don't have to wear suits.
We get to dress like slobs, and that's one of the perks of this job, but it is a little embarrassing to be 38 years old and not know any of this stuff no i don't know any of that absolutely not you know how many different numbers you have to know for your suit size there's like five different things you have to know inseam you have to know like shoulder you have to know chest you have to know arm length who can keep track of all that the the i actually would have if if mb didn't correct me at the first time, the suit coat was too big.
Basically, I could wrap it all the way around me.
But I also sent in my sleeves, and I was like, I think I'm a 26.
And she was like, well, just a heads up, everyone else is ordered in the 30s.
And I was like, oh, okay, so I don't think I'm a 26. I could have had the funniest suit ever if I had just gone with 26.52.
Yeah. It would have just been insane proportions.
So, yeah, I don't know. I feel like I'm a semi-responsible adult, but this is one of those things that I can't tie a bow tie.
I can tie a regular tie. Nobody knows how to tie a bow tie.
I don't know any kind of fashion. I don't know what or what what cuts or what any of that and i don't i'm okay with it but when those little like probably once every couple years it pops up and i just feel like such an idiot and i'm like man i could probably take like two seconds go to a tailor get myself measured learn like three facts and be good and i just don't do it it's like ring size when they ask us ring size right just normal yeah i have normal fingers xl yeah i've got xl i mean who knows like are we expected do most guys is that something most people in their 30s know walking around all their suit measurements i think they do i think just i i don't think so i think the average guy wears a suit more than we do that has to be the case that's probably true that's not the case anymore.
no no no because here's i think the sweet spot for knowing what size suit you wear is probably in your late 20s early 30s when it's weddings on weddings and weddings every single summer now we're old enough where it's like there might be one wedding or two weddings each year we go to but it's not like every free weekend that we have is spent watching a friend get married right so you kind of lose track you just use suits that you used to wear in the past and then it gets depressing because then your suits turn into funeral suits and now I have well then also it's a light blue summer suit for the track and also they they just don't fit anymore right it's like I'll wear that suit that I wore three years ago for a wedding yeah when I was in much better shape yeah i also yeah i tried to justify
the thousand dollar purchase i was like well i'll wear this when i go uh to the track and lose even
more money you knew i had a great suit last night henry lockwood that was good i like good it was
also good to kind of uh weed out uh the non-ogs who were like oh hank looks like shit why why does
he have duct tape like do read a book dude watch an an internet video. Duct tape to the wall.
They did that so wrong. The duct tape challenge.
Yeah, the video, someone was asking me about it, and I was like, the original video, the challenge was supposed to be, can you get someone to hang on the wall with one roll of duct tape? Dave and Feats just did it with infinity rolls of duct tape. So they used like five rolls of duct tape, and then obviously I was able to stand.
And then by the time they realized it, like they put out a picture of me fully duct taped to the wall, losing circulation in my arm. And people were like, you guys know it's a one duct tape roll challenge.
That's the whole thing. Is it possible? I don't know.
I broke out after that, we never tried again. He almost died.
Is that like when you cover your body in paint? Like when fans get dressed up and it suffocates their skin? It was just... There was no circulation in my hand.
You were like Jesus up on that wall. I was getting purple, yeah.
Okay, good show, boys. Everyone have a great weekend.
College football is back.
Numbers.
Memes.
You ever gotten it?
Eight.
Twenty.
Oops.
I'll go 69.
One for memes.
Twenty-eight.
Ooh.
Twenty-eight.
Twenty-eight.
So close, Max.
Twenty-eight. Love you guys.
Corey Davis was the fifth pick in the NFL draft. And he's not very good.
No, he's definitely not very good. No, the very was.
Very good is Pro Bowl. I feel like he had a couple good seasons for the Titans.
Very good. Not very good anymore.
Memes is drinking the Kool-Aid so much that he's got every guy on the roster being very good.
I mean, Hard Knocks is a joke.
Memes is a joke.
Memes is a joke.
Ha ha ha ha! Take me on me
Take me on
I'll be gone
And I'll be gone
And I'll be gone To me. Begun me, take me on.
I'll be gone in a dark day. Take the stars this Friday.
I'm burning like a fire gun wild on Saturday. Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday.
I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love to come around. The things that you say, these little I know, just to blame our worries away.
You're all the things I've got to remember. You shine away.
Are they coming through anyway?
Are they coming, are they coming, are they coming, are they coming through anyway?
Take on me.
Take me out.