Max Homa, Vernon Davis, Reading Headlines, Mt Rushmore Of Broadcast Calls + Fyre Fest

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On today's part of my take, we have a twofer for the people. Our good friend Max Homa in person at Olympia Fields.
We went and walked the course with him yesterday. It was awesome.
So we also got to interview him, catch up with him. We also have Vernon Davis.
You all know him. One of the best tight ends the last 20 years.
Vernon Davis on the show. We're going to do Mount Rushmore of best broadcaster calls of all time, which I'm shocked we haven't done.
A lot of pressure on Jake. Did we look it up? A lot of pressure on Jake.
I'll triple check, but I don't think so. I don't remember doing it.
A lot of pressure on Jake. We're going to read some headlines because there's not a ton going on.
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No place to hang out or washin' And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's a part of my take presented by Marshall Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Friday, August 18th. And boys, I'm booking it up right now.

We have exactly.

Oh, it's loading.

It's loading.

It's loading.

I have a there's a website countdown to kick off.

It's loading.

How many days to kick off? It's 20 days, nine hours, 42 minutes, 55 seconds. I'm rock hard right now.
20 days. Less than three weeks.
And I start the show this way because I think we all, I speak for everyone here. At this point of the summer, just give me football.
We're there. We're basically there already.
We got preseason tonight.

We've had preseason.

We're getting into the preseason takes.

Some of the first injuries have started to happen.

It does feel like there's football going on.

We would never get overreact to preseason takes whatsoever.

But yeah, it is.

I consider this to be football season.

Hard knocks is going on, which I've had a couple days to think about hard knocks and kind of digest it for a while. Hard knocks is not what it used to be, sadly.
No. It's still interesting.
You still get football. You still get the shot of the sprinkler.
You get pads hitting against each other. You get to hear football.
That's kind of nice. But it's almost like you're hearing a train coming around a corner, and you can feel the vibration on the tracks, but it's not quite there yet.
I i want that train about to run me over i want that light right in my face i actually i think the jet did the jets uh ditch their second day of practice with the bucks today that was a story that's where you know we're at with the stories i think the the bucks showed up and they're like wait where are the jets oh there's training camp fights though yeah that's we're at that part of the season where these guys are sick of hitting each other they They want to hit somebody else. They finally get to hit somebody else, and they get into big brawls with them.
The skirmishes last about five seconds, and then depending on what kind of coach you are, you either say, this is awesome. I'm very glad that this happened.
Like Dion, who said, my only problem was the guys that didn't fight. Shout out Dion.
Although Dion, not exactly a great fighter, you wouldn't say. He's thrown a couple punches this day but yeah then you get the coaches that are like you know I'm going to pull guys from practice if they fight that's my rule yeah I tend to be if you sucked last year you want your guys fighting if you were good last year you don't want you keep everyone safe yeah so we've been doing this the last few Fridays we're just going to read some headlines because this is what's going on in the sports world we We are a sports podcast.
We're going to bring you the headlines that matter. From all around the globe.
From all around the globe. Let's start with Nuggets, Lakers, Suns, Warriors to tip NBA season.
Yeah. Who would have thought that the reigning champions would play against the Lakers starting the season? Never would have guessed it.
No. Oh, sorry.
For a second there, I thought the Lakers won the title. Well.
Because it made you think. You know what? For a while there.
I'm so excited about this game. You know why, Big Cat? This is a rematch of the best NBA game of all time.
Yes. And nobody ever talks about it because it was game one of, was that the Western Conference Finals? Yes.
It also is a rematch of the best sweep of all time. That's true.
Yeah. The most exciting sweep of all time.
Could have gone seven. Didn't.
Went four. So that will be fun to watch.
Yeah, that's all I got. Great job.
Also, the NBA needs to learn a lot about sports from the NFL, namely like allow tackling and that sort of thing. And seven points.
And seven points, which, yeah, that's the – we got a little bit of shit given to us by troops the other day because he's like, oh, y'all not make fun of football, right? But football, you score six points and it's worth on one touchdown. And football, proper football.
Hey, blood. Bummer clap, blood.
If you score one goal, it's only worth one point, isn't it? It's like, yeah, dude, don't be a fucking idiot. Make your goals worth three points.
Yeah. Make penalty kicks worth two.
Yeah. Boom.
It's very easy. Very easy to do.
And you get the illusion of higher scoring. But the NBA needs to learn from the NFL and know how to properly do a schedule release.
I had no idea that the NBA schedule release was today. The NFL gives us the announcement of the date of when the schedule release will be released.
Then you get the official date of when the schedule release is going to be. And then finally you get the schedule.
And don't forget the leaks too. You get all the leaks.
Would anyone even want to leak this? No. Well, maybe the Chargers social media team could do like an anime thing for the NBA.
Help them out a little bit. Get some buzz going.
By the way, that just triggered something in my head talking about seven points for football and how soccer should change their point scoring system. Big big time big time uh get your math tightened up because football math you you'll you know the first week you want to maybe watch a preseason game and do some counting exercises get yourself ready figure out where you're on pace for yep uh totals math all that stuff and learn the channels and learn the channels you forgot the channels jake can you remind us um the week before the nfl season starts to go back and review all the new rules that have been put in place because there's probably like two rule changes uh they did something with the kickoff but we need to be on it we need to be in mid-season form week one that's the standard that i will present i'll do a presentation each from today on the show.
Yeah, I would like that. I love Jake volunteering to do a class project.
Of course. Mrs., you forgot to sign some homework.
No, that was never me. I get that comparison all the time on Twitter.
I would hate those people. Why? Because they said it before you.

We also do need to grade Jake on a curve because for the longest time we're comparing him to who he happened to sit next to.

Correct.

So yeah, sitting next to him.

It's like, yeah, of course, Jake would be that guy.

Now you're your own man, Jake.

We also need a reminder, Jake, in that same episode when we do your presentation, I would like to give Hank a math quiz, football math quiz football so we'll just shoot numbers at him and see how fast he can do it got it just get everyone from today yeah i guess it's our pre-friday september 1st get ready yes yes and max maybe you do a slide of the new new names new places that we we did a few months ago but just maybe refresh us okay yeah i'll just put together a power talking to put together a PowerPoint. We'll do all these things in one presentation.
Okay, perfect. All right, next headline.
Sources, Thorne wins Auburn's starting QB job. The second biggest story on ESPN.com right now is the Auburn's starting QB job.
I'm just using this as a segue to say we have college football coming up next week. We have Andy Staples on the show week after we're gonna have tom fornelli we don't forget about college football i'm actually more excited about this college football season than i've been in a very long time yeah i've been listening listening to the podcast reading all that i've so andy talked to us a little bit about cruising message boards we'll have to get into that when he when he's actually broadcast on the show but going to college football message boards is where you get the actual truth about sports and really life in America.

I love SEC message boards.

They have the best tiger droppings.

Hogville.

Just feed it.

Inject it directly into my veins.

It's the lifeblood of Southern culture.

I've been saying that if Hogville was in charge of running our nation's defenses on 9-11 and tracking jets, they would have been able to stop it. They are the true Mark Wahlbergs.
Ex-Northwestern coach Fitzgerald volunteers at high school. No word from Darren Revelle yet.
Interesting. I hope it's Darren Revelle's high school.
That would be great. That would be great.
Interesting that Darren hasn't talked about it. I'm surprised that he hasn't gone down to Alabama yet.
He should go down there just for a week that's the ultimate rehab assignment for for a coach that is either fired or has to be removed in disgrace as you go to alabama for one season you get rehabbed and then next thing you know boom new job just go to walmart buy a polo some some khakis stand on the sideline they'll eventually be like oh yeah yeah he's part of the team yeah um urban myers should do that too yeah he should yeah absolutely should uh lions wide receiver williams likely out for rest of preseason i'm starting to think that jameson williams might be cursed because if you remember he's already out for six games for gambling and now he's out there which is a weird rule that you can play in the preseason when you're suspended from the regular season but he was because he was injured last year from Alabama towards ACL. So missed most of last year.
They were using the preseason to try to get him reps. So halfway through this season, they're able to get him, you know, just insert him into the offense.
Now he's out again. He might be cursed.
I think that he – I'm going to take his side on this because Dan Campbell was saying if he's going to be suspended, if he's going to miss games, we're going to ride him so hard in the preseason in practice. He's going to be out there taking every rep.
I think that he probably just got over wrapped. Yeah, he did.
That can happen. You got over wrapped all the time.
Sources. Eagles.
Reddick to have thumb surgery. Damn.
Oh, wait, this is breaking news. What team does team does he play for? It says Eagles Redick.
Oh, wow. The Eagles.
That's the same city as the Sixers. This is a prank.
No. Not a prank.
Okay, so let's click it open. Hassan Redick to have thumb surgery.
Eagles edge rusher Hassan Redick will have surgery. Oh, we'll just put a club on it.
It's fine. The injury occurred Monday joint practice with Cleveland Browns, although Reddick is expected to miss practice time.

The Eagles are confident to be ready for regular season.

Who gives a fuck?

The Patriots.

He didn't have that many sacks last year, right?

Big Cat.

None in the Super Bowl.

Oh, he had 16 sacks last year. Did he have any in the Super Bowl?

No.

I don't think your old defense had any in the Super Bowl.

Fucking saw.

Yeah, saw.

Saw.

You still are upset.

Anheuser-Busch back his sponsor of Commanders.

Thank you. No.
I don't think your old defense had it in the Super Bowl. Fucking Sade.
Yeah, Sade. Sade.
You still are upset. Anheuser-Busch back his sponsor of Commanders.
This is some real headlines. That's Josh Harris, baby.
That's the Josh Harris. Should have done Coors Light.
Should have. Should have.
But there was a quote that I read from Jason Wright, friend of the program, that now people are eager to do business with the Washington franchise that were once not eager to do business with them at all. So interesting.
What changed? Interesting that one guy can make that big of a difference. Yeah, things are looking good.
Things are looking good. Although it would be very funny if Anheuser-Busch, if Bud Light tried to get in and reverse their image because there's the rumblings of the commanders changing their name back to the Redskins.
So Bud Light's trying to swing. They're trying to swing the pendulum the other way and be like, look, we're in favor of going to the Redskins.
Please start drinking our beer again. Yeah.
Although they're not going to change the name back to the Redskins. No, they should be the Hogs.
Last one, chief superfan indicted on bank robbery charges. How many times are they going to indict this guy? He's like Trump.
Yeah, it's absurd is a witch hunt they just keep throwing indictments i don't i'll say this it's a very politically motivated da i i'll say this uh i don't really understand what an indictment is an indictment is when they find enough evidence to bring charges against you so they go to are you are you going to jail or no that's the arraignment is when they bring you in when you get indicted yeah then they bring you in and they book you at your arraignment what's the percentage of indictments that end up in jail i think you have to you have to be uh apprehended or show up to an arraignment if you're indicted so indictment really is they just they basically like send you you get a warrant, they send you a letter in the mail being like,

hey, you ran this red light.

Yeah, you get a warrant.

I got indicted a lot of times in New York.

Yeah, so you have charges that are formally pressed against you when you have an indictment.

I was reading some of these charges.

They seem just Mickey Mouse.

Does Double Jeopardy exist in this country anymore?

It should.

Because I think he got indicted on 11 charges of robbing banks.

Oh, I thought you were talking about Trump. No no not him uh what do you think about his about trumpson i actually have a piece of legal advice for trump yeah he should flip on his son oh how funny how funny would that be if if trump actually is the one that turns state's witness and he's like don jr was in charge of the entire thing sends his son to prison donald trump gets off scott well i mean he could also just put in uh jared kushner jared kushner is tom wamskamp get rid of all he's just sitting on a boat being like you're gonna do the time getting rid of your son-in-law somehow i think he hates his son more than he hates his son-in-law though i could see that yeah it would just be very funny to have to have trump like be like in in a court court of law pointing his finger.
He's like, I wanted to get I wanted to concede the election. But this son of a bitch put me up to it.
I just know not to get political. I just have indictment fatigue.
It doesn't mean anything to me. I just keep seeing this word.
I'm like, tell me when something happens, because as of right now, it doesn't matter to me. What do you think Trump's weight is going to be? Because they have to weigh him in when they bring him in.
Shit. He's a hoss.
He's a hoss. He is a hoss.
So I'm not going to, like, whatever his weight is, that's hoss. I think it's...
It's not fat, it's hoss. 2.55, like a linebacker.
Yeah. He's a hoss.
He's basically Brian Cushing. He's a hoss.
And then trending stuff on Twitter, the only thing I saw was we were laughing, Theo Epstein is trending because one Yankee fan said who'd you rather have be your GM next Derek Jeter or Theo Epstein who would you rather have be your and we like Derek Jeter friend of the program recurring guest but who'd you rather have Derek Jeter or the greatest you know GM guy of all time I would rather have Derek Jeter be the GM of the Yankees from my for contact. Because Theo Epstein being the GM means the Yankees will win a World Series

in like five years.

Yeah, Derek Jeter, great player.

Maybe not that great of a general manager.

People are asking.

Okay.

One person is.

Any other stories?

Any other things?

I did see Chris Bosh just had to

just twist the knife a little bit.

He said if the Bulls were able to trade Luol Deng to the Clippers back in 2010, the big three would have happened in Chicago. That hurt.
Yeah. I feel so stupid for that whole summer thinking that it was going to happen.
You really did? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I think Chicago, New York. I can't remember if there was another.
I mean, Cleveland obviously thought LeBron was going to stay. I think the Knicks had a chance.
No, I'd say New York. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Chicago, New York. I can't remember if there was another.
I mean, Cleveland obviously thought LeBron was going to stay. I think the Knicks had a chance.
No, I'd say New York. Yeah, yeah.
Chicago, New York. Yeah.
Wait, you're saying you wanted that to happen? At the time? Yeah. So...
Yeah, it would have had to be a LeBron fan. Yeah, that's basically what...
No, yeah. I mean, this was 13 years ago.
So he's done a lot of bad for the world since. Is this your first time listening to Big Cat talk about sports?

If he can get a great player on his team,

he will completely flip his opinion

and figure out a way to spin his way into being a LeBron fan.

I was rooting hard for that.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, I just wanted you to say.

You would have been a huge LeBron fan.

We were all connecting the dots, being like,

it's going to happen.

It's going to happen.

And it didn't happen.

It's kind of crazy that Wade played here. Yeah, very briefly.
think he played for the calves too yes he did which is weird wait dwayne wade played for the calves his last year we should put together a list came back to miami yeah yeah but yeah we should put together a list of holy shit i forgot that guy played theirs yeah okay oh mount rushmore of it yeah that's a good monday love it mount rushmore of holy shit that guy played there. Yes.
That's great. Okay, anything else before we get to our interviews? We have great interviews, great Mount Rushmore coming.
I can't think of anything. It's football.
Football's back. Football's so back.
We've done some great football interviews coming up. I know people are like, oh, another golfer.
First of all, I'll have Max Holman whenever he wants because I think the best interviews we do are the guys that we're genuinely friends with. And second of all, we have football coming.
We got so much football coming. You're going to have football coming out of your fucking eyeballs.
Out of your asshole. Yeah, out of your asshole.
There's a Women's World Cup finals this weekend. What? I saw U.S.
parted away is with the coach. Wait, they're still playing that? Yeah, they're still playing.
The England game was pretty good, actually, the other day. The minute we were out, the tournament was canceled.

No, no.

I think it's coming home.

When and where?

It's England against Spain in the finals.

And then it's...

When?

That's Sunday morning.

What time?

Way too early.

And then there's the consolation match, which...

Take the over on the consolation match.

Yeah.

Those games always have a lot of goals.

For full disclosure, I am... Sunday at 5 a.m i am oh i'm oh and 12 in the women's world cup i lost so much money on the women's oh and 12 haven't won a single bet mr women is just not working out this time around but yeah women are very mysterious to me in general 5 a.m i don't know if that's local eastern no definitely not the computer does it for you yeah so it for you.
Yeah, so that's 5 a.m. Chicago, so 6 a.m.
Eastern.

Okay, so I'm taking the over in the consolation match,

and then I'm taking a tie.

I'm taking a draw at the end of regulation in the finals

because FIFA's rigged.

People forget that.

That's a great sleep bet.

Yeah.

A draw?

Well, I wake up at about 7 a.m. as the game's ending,

and I'll get to see hopefully overtime. Yeah, sleep 7 a.m.
as the game's ending. Yeah.

And I'll get to see hopefully overtime.

Yeah.

Sleep bets play.

Okay.

Let's get to our interviews.

We've got Max Homa, then Vernon Davis.

When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.

Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.

See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, here he is, Max Homa.
Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend. It is Max Homa.
We're at the FedEx Cup playoffs at Olympia Fields, the second to last tournament. I want to congratulate you by the way for making the cut this weekend so congratulations on that there is no cut yeah i didn't think you were going to congratulate me on getting an honorable mention for the mount rushmore uh you got honorable mention though yeah yeah that was big this is now see this is the problem with doing that mount rushmore guest that we truly love comes on.
They're like, so that's how you feel about me. Hank's in trouble with Edelman.
Yes. Way more trouble.
Yes. We would have picked you, but he made us pick Chris.
I know. I heard it too.
Yeah. In a podcast that's filled with bad ideas, that was by far and away or worse.
Yeah. We ranked our friends.
Terrible idea. Publicly.
Yeah. We were like, hey, here are our friends.
But yes, we're here. Big weekend.
Very excited for you. We got to walk with you.
We got to walk behind you. Watch how the sausage gets made.
You looked, I'll say this. Watch doing the Pro-Am and seeing you play up close.
You do actually have to putt the ball into the hole. I noticed you weren't doing that every single hole.
So that's a tip. Yeah, I was scooping a lot of them we get this uh lovely thing in pro-am day where par is your friend uh worse you can make us par you feel real good going into thursday yeah yeah par is your friend yeah i saw you warming up when you were putting out of the putting green i think i figured out your little stance that you do yeah you you got your legs spread apart you're trying to feel the uh feel the undulations of the green and then you do this little flex thing with oh yeah and that's what that's where you figure out what the slope is separator yeah because what is it like one one knee stops spinning before the other and that's how you can figure out which way it's going i think yeah i if you obviously can like see part of a slope and i feel like i'll go in there kind of sideways and when i do the little cool the cool knee thing yeah i feel like back at zero.
So then I could actually feel what it really is. I don't let myself.
Can you like lay down on the green? Probably. That would be awesome.
That actually is not a bad idea. Yeah.
What about a level? Can you put a level up there? No, that's a one. That's illegal.
Yeah, that would, that's why I practice my feet. Cause I use a level to help me.
I was saying, if you do a level, you could just roll a ball. Yeah.
Just roll a golf ball. Or just what you should do is just put levels in your shoes that only you can see.
It's actually not a bad idea. Is that Aimpoint? Are you Aimpoint? Nice, dude.
Yeah, I watched a YouTube video. Nice.
And then I did it. I tried it.
And? And I don't know what I'm doing. I stood there and I was like, you're supposed to guess the thing from one to three and then you do the...
Guess is probably not the right word. Yeah, well, that's what I was doing.
Yeah was like oh i'm gonna do aim point it did nothing for me you sound like every everybody i meet that does i saw a youtube video yeah and i tried it and this is my thing now yeah yeah i aim pointed yeah that's how i i feel like i i watch a youtube video before i go to sleep about golf and then i'll think about it in my sleep and i'll wake up the next day and be like that was a great practice session yeah yeah now I'm good it's like uh back in what they say in high school or college if you slept with the book under your pillow you'd learn it by osmosis I believe it that's a fact I believe it 100% college yeah or just you know take a bunch of Adderall and lock yourself in the library that too they both yeah same thing same thing but uh all right so I know the season isn't complete because we have this big weekend and hopefully next weekend. But overall, what would you rank your game right now? Like out of 10? Yeah.
Do it in the balls method, Glennie balls out of five. Five balls is the max.
Like 4.3. Okay.
That's pretty good. 4.3 balls.
I like to leave a little room for improvement. Now, yeah.
So if you're judging your game, have you ever played at a five? Or is it like 4.5 is the best and then you just need a couple lucky breaks? Yeah, I've probably never played at a five. I've probably had days that were five.
Right. This darn game, man game man you play four days so you always feel like an idiot one of them uh but yeah so yeah you usually get a lot especially when you win you get lucky a bunch and uh things seem to go your way uh yeah i would love to play at a five once for four days yeah it feels like that'd be so cool i would imagine put well no when you when you broke the record at uh la country, that was probably a fine, right? Yeah, my home course, though.
We call it a track, actually. It's a track.
It's a track. Now, we defended you because we love you.
That actually is the good news because when we do the Mount Rushmore and we forget you or people yell at you on the course, those are the bad sides, but we defend you on the other sides. People were coming at you for practicing after the USs open that was a wild uh yeah can you explain it to people because like i feel like it was a totally regular thing that people are like what the hell he like it's almost like the dream he thinks he's on the team yeah yeah uh that was that was one of those i felt like i had a good nice i was really really bummed out friday like really bummed out and I went to practice Saturday.
That was one of those moments where I flipped my phone on and I saw people saying, why is he practicing? What a look at me moment. And that was when it was like, all right, no phone for a while.
This is bad. So I don't think it's very rare or weird.
My coach is at the golf course, so I would like to practice with him with him. Uh, the balls and everything are set up.
I would still need to call it Sunday. I went and play golf with my friends, Greg and Mark and all them.
And, and we got to go to their golf course, but Saturday morning I was like, Oh, I'd like to get some working. Cause I missed the cut.
My coach is not going to drive all over Los Angeles while he's also coaching people playing on the weekend. Right.
Uh, and then when other people people said why then are you wearing your uh logos those are the only shirts i brought because i thought i was gonna make the cut right so so it wasn't like a jj watt moment like bringing the cameras out no no if anything it's mamba mentality yeah always trying to grind and get yeah if anything it's i don't know why they were filming me when i missed the cut you should go fill somebody else well it's also a very simple rule of like did you post about it no so clearly like he if if no one had posted that you were there no one would have known you were there so it doesn't really matter i just tried to get in get some work get out i'm just trying to get better at this game you can't yell at me because i lost money uh on your bets and then also yell at me for practicing that's true that's a good point that's fair also i think people in a weird way are like well he probably took a practice spot from someone who's competing i went as far down the left as i could i wanted nothing to do with all the people who were beating my ass all week i wanted to just live in uh anonymity over there so yeah well we do have to respect you now because you did finish top 10 at a major that was huge that was so open championship that was big. I felt it too in my bank account.
It was amazing. So thank you for that, Matt.
You're welcome. Very proud of you.
You're welcome. So you feel like you're – are you playing the best golf of your life? It's been – this year has been for sure the most consistent.
I don't feel like I have a glaring weakness. You still go through lulls where it sucks.
But for the most part, I feel like when I'm playing at – Yeah, Hartford, that was – Thursday was a tough one. Well, when you when you did text me at like 2 in the morning, you're like, hey, are you in New York this weekend? I'm like Friday night, and I was like, oh, Max is going through it.
I was going through it. Back-to-back miscut.
I was like, I don't think you want to come down to New York. Well, so have you guys met Colt Nost? No.
Colt Nost, he works out here. He does all the encore stuff.
And uh his wife natalie who i'm close with was she had come in for colt's birthday and so she doesn't do anything while he's at the golf course so she she's like we should go have a girls day in new york and do all this stuff i'm like cool we're gonna i mean this was at 1 a.m yeah i know we're gonna go like have a spa day and do the whole thing i was like oh man i've never i never gotten to see the bar so i'll do that so i texted you too and i woke up like there's a zero percent chance i'm getting all the way to new york i saw it when i woke up at like 6 30 and i was like yeah i don't think this is a text wood that was sent with sound mind i've been yeah i've been doing better with the drunk texting as i've gotten to be in my 30s but that was that was definitely a bold dumb decision oh i'm honored that i got a you up yeah yeah so it's been you you said you it's most consistent year. Yeah, it definitely has felt really good.
I feel like when I'm playing well, I've had good results. And when I haven't, I've turned those into like top 25s.
I'm pretty proud of, I'd always, even in years past when I'd had good seasons, last year was my best season up until this one. I didn't have a ton of top 10s, but my high finishes were really good.
This year I am at 10 top 10s. I was really proud of that.
So it's definitely been better. There's obviously a lot of great golfers I got to continue to catch up to.
But it's been nice to just see some of that consistency translating to the results. And you're in sixth or seventh place? What are you in right now? Sixth, yeah.
Sixth place. So you probably don't know this off the top of your head.
How much money does that translate to if you finish in six?

Like 2.5 million probably. Yeah, you do know it.

Yeah, that's a lot of money.

I got fifth last year, so I know what the base is.

It's crazy the amount of money that they put into the FedEx Cup.

Yeah.

Absolutely life-changing stuff.

Someone asked us why we go to Memphis.

One of my buddies asked me, why did we go to Memphis?

Like last week because it was hot as the sun.

Yeah, you said you wanted to rip all the hair off your body.

Yeah, if I had enough time, I think I could have done it. You'd just smoothest but I mean FedEx is there and I mean the least we can do for FedEx's play in their backyard it's not like the biggest uh biggest ask uh although I would like it if they could somehow turn uh turn the AC on just a little bit how are you how was your pants situation last week I wore white on Sunday so smart yeah Lucas LG did not.
did not get to memo. I mean, they were just following him around.
It looked like he was wearing the thickest coat. I know.
On Friday, it was hotter than Sunday. And I wore a dark because I was talking to Joe Pryor.
This is the stuff. This is the inside baseball.
I was like, what color pants do I wear tomorrow? Because Sunday was going to be worse. He goes, basically, I thought about it.
I was like, I'm going to save white for Sunday. but i had these dark grays he goes go dark and i looked at him uh on like the maybe like the 12th hole and i he was wearing just the worst gray color you could wear and i was like in my head i looked at him i was like it looks like he pissed himself and i looked down i said it looks like i pissed myself it was a tough scene it was very hot and we were talking earlier on the course about one of the programs that you got to play in.
You were paired up with Chris Berman. Oh, yeah.
Which is amazing. Like, you can't draw that up any better.
And he's obviously known for being a sweaty guy on the golf course. But you were saying that he shot the round of his life.
It was the best I've ever. He was on fire.
I think we became good friends because of it. I've seen him play at pebble, uh, for the celebrity program for the 18th seat.
And I've been out there and I've watched him and I mean, he is the most happy go lucky. Like you guys know him, but he's the best dude.
Um, but he just like, he doesn't move great anymore. Uh, and I went out there and I was not expecting a ton just from what I'd seen.
And he played unbelievable. So, uh, I think future programs we might be linked because I might be his rabbit's foot at this point.
His muse. Yeah.
He just needs a little max touch, that famous max touch. I like that.
Max, I want to bring this up because we do take every opportunity to dump on you when we bet on you and you finish out to the top 10 out of major. So mean.
You did. So mean.
All of them at once. No, this is good.
This is good. This is good.
You finished fourth in the Comcast Business Tour top 10. Did you bet on that? That's like, I didn't bet on it, unfortunately.
I didn't know that I could bet on it. But that's like a sneaky couple mil that isn't talked about that much.
Yeah, it's like a super top 10. I know it's not a major.
but like think about it. One week of golf, you get top 10.
That's good. But think about like 30 weeks of golf here.
Top four. Yeah.
That's basically better than winning a major. Yeah, it is.
Yeah. Good point.
Yeah, it is. It is.
So congratulations for that. I want to make sure to bring that up.
There's another thing that I just learned today too, because we have this handy dandyandy PR sheet. So I looked through it, just planning on asking you like the most generic questions I could find here.
But I learned something about you that I don't think you've ever you've shared with us before. Maybe you have.
You got a phone call from Tommy Lasorda. Oh, yeah.
What? Yeah. So you're obviously you're big.
You're big. I know.
Well, actually, we are in the afterlife as well. Yeah.
So I have a it's a funny story.i.p to tommy he was awesome and yeah the the original go so i met him doing a inside the pga tour shoot we got to they took joe and i to uh dodger stadium it was awesome it was empty we got to run around the bases like little kids it was the most fun day and then they said you know tom was sort of in his office would you like to meet him and i said of course and he made a deal with me that day that if i ever won he would call me and i did not think that was going to happen so i was in the press conference and they said that there's a phone call for me and i thought obviously i was not thinking about that and at that point that answer the phony you know raspy voice he said max it's tommy lasorda i always knew you could do it but my favorite part of that story is you know tommy's getting up there in age and um he i walk introduce myself and, you know, I say, I'm Max. He goes, Max, I love that name.
And then he's telling me a story and he's going to sign something for me. And he, he asked me six times what my name was.
And, uh, the last time he said at the beginning and then the very last thing was, Oh, Max, I love that name. And I looked at Joe and I was laughing so hard, uh, because it was just like the most perfect, you always want like a story when you meet the legends and kind of your heroes right i was like we finally got a story he he went i think he was probably the oldest person we ever interviewed it was awesome that he was able to do it before he passed but it was a great interview where you're like this guy has so many great stories but we realized the interview was over when he like went back to story one and he just started telling it like he'd never told her it.
We're like, well, we'll hear it again. Cause it's awesome.
There's a good time. You kicked the Philly fanatics ass.
That was most of the stories I told were just about different fights. It's great.
I'm sure those run together. There's a really cool video.
I can't remember if I was watching on TV or it was at the game, but he was, he got to do the, it's time for Dodger baseball. That's how like we, we as Dodger fans fans start the game somebody gets on the mic and does it and he got up there and they hand him his mic and i don't know the woman with him uh but she's standing next to him and you're literally i've done it once you're literally just supposed to yell it's time for dodger baseball obviously tommy says some more things as he should but then he gets into like a rant of a speech and the woman takes the mic goes it's time's time.
It was awesome. That's the best.
Yeah. He's an ultimate dude.
Yeah. All right.
We met Joe. You're caddy.
We squashed. You guys completely squashed the beat.
Yeah. We squashed Joe.
He doesn't. Yeah.
He, I was, I was afraid that he hates us. He doesn't.
He told us. I didn't want to warn you that he, that he told me last week that he squashed the beef already by listening to you.
Oh, he just mentally squ he told me goes man i did it i i caved it's football season i have to listen because they're my favorite podcast i have to listen that's i mean that's a good grudge but anyway so so obviously we're there's no are people saying p the p word they are yeah so we have to stop it i mean sure i mean they have to stop giving up we're telling you we've told you before directly no more p word yeah like it's actually it's actually bothering me so the other thing is i saw that you also we might not like spicy meatball anymore it's not it has nothing with not liking spicy meatball but when i feel i almost do feel bad in a way because i'll have people say yell it or yell something and then that joke is it's over like any joke it's like it's the 50th time i've heard it right like so it's not as funny they expect me to laugh it's like i play with brooks one time i actually played with him the day he dyed his hair remember we bleached yeah yeah on the very first that's the dude equivalent of just like cutting your bangs midlife crisis big time well he so we all walk on the tee we play with the day before normal hair or his regular hair and he walks on the tee and like takes his hat off to kind of like you know brush back his hair and we're like whoa that is not what you had yesterday so we started talking about it and one of the guys in the crowd yells well the real slim shady please stand up and it was pretty funny because it was like hit him everyone at least gave a chuckle well then by the 15th hole we've now heard that joke 700 times to the point where it's not funny anymore. And then they look at us.
I was like, we're being rude. So that's how I am with spicy meatball.
You guys are funny. And you came up with a funny thing, spicy meatball.
And you said, say something like spicy meatball. Right.
So everyone said, yep, that's spicy meatball. Yeah.
All right. So we need to, I just like, I original.
I like some originality. If you want me to laugh, I mean, if that's what you're going're going for the laugh if you just want to rep that you listen to part of my take that's cool too but i i just feel bad because i'm not going to laugh because i hear it here at all time i i was gonna say maybe we just have a good good drive max you're gonna love that yeah we're gonna love that yeah you're gonna love that always plays good or bad by the way i just want to just uh for people listening if you heard someone taking a piss it was not it was it was my nephew who i brought out to the golf course today he's six he just took a piss it was awesome it was very nice work so so we need to find something more original yeah just i mean you could go with spicy people whatever you want i'm anti-pewared i will not laugh yeah or i don't condone condone it.
I'm not cool with that one. Spicy Meeple, I'm cool with.
You're probably not going to get a reaction. If you're looking for a reaction, maybe just come up with your own joke.
And we should also just remind people that Max is doing his job. I am also working.
And it's a very stressful job. So maybe after the round of Spicy Meeple.
Sure. Again, I'm cool.
Support. I'm very thankful for the support.
I'm very thankful for the support. I've gotten strictly just through this podcast and my friendship with you guys.
It's been awesome. But yeah, I don't.
I also am trying to win. Yeah.
Right. And we actually care about you as much as the bad stuff we say.
Like I do. I am like when I'm watching you, I feel like it's you have the best compliment I can give you is we have a few relationships through the years with this podcast where it becomes a situation where like I'm rooting for someone more than just like, oh yeah, that guy's been on the show.
Yeah. Like I'm actually like, I want you to win.
I want you to do well. So you're rooting for Dak Prescott this year.
Dak Prescott is not on that list. The list is not huge.
I would say it's basically you. It's you.
It's Josh. You know what not you're not a mount rush for recurring guests you're a mount rush for a human being yes that's more you know what man no but it's like you josh that really hit me man thank you yeah yeah yeah josh i almost said something unintentionally mean i don't mean this as a mean thing it's gonna sound mean hit me with it you're a better human being than you are a golf yeah i love that well it's but i'd hard.
Maybe once in a while I'd like you to be kind of a dick and a better golfer. Sure, yeah.
I would also love that. It's hard because our reflex is mean because that's what we do.
We bust balls on the show. We even had it today when you were walking up one of the fairways and a random woman was like, Max, I love you.
I'm a huge fan. You're amazing.
And I just blurted it out. I was like, well, he's seven, so he's not amazing.
He's very good. He's actually six.
I was like, why did I say that? No, but it's good. I mean, that's guys being guys.
Yeah. Dudes being dudes.
That's how we show affection. But we do care.
If you were only nice to me, I would be alone that you hate me. Yeah, that would be lame.
But yeah, we do very much care. So we want everyone to root for Max and be original and also remember he's doing his job uh speaking of the recurring guests you guys met brian harman today yeah and you got the deep into the mega course yeah oh yeah it was a mega uh friendship i got to meet i got to play with him last week and and i had just never really noticed his hat i guess before and that's all i could see it's all all we can also because i'm staring it's just yeah he's direct eye line his cat he's also like six five it doesn't help countries yeah yeah what's his name country country that's big country that's just country country that i could tell he was the man too because we were talking to brian harman for like 10 minutes and he didn't say a word and then he just said something like very funny at the end oh yeah he doesn't talk yeah he's he's a quality over quantity guy right we i mean i've known him for a while now and he's awesome brian's great like we have a really good relationship so i love playing with him but countries like words per round are very low but they all they always hit yeah yeah i went up to him and uh they they looked at us they didn't recognize us because we've just interviewed him over zoom one time so we don't have like an established relationship i walked up to him and his caddy looked like he was going to step forward yeah yeah and so i just he's got that i was like i was like

megacorp oh yeah they're the megacorp uh did you by chance meet jt poston today no do you know his

caddy aaron fleaner's nickname is big cat it's been big cat forever yeah i gotta meet him yeah

so we were he was asking if you guys were out or if i was gonna see you guys and i said you

were gonna be here today because we figured you guys had to link up how much of the guys on the on the tour are you like going to dinner with and stuff that always is interesting yeah because it's like you obviously are competing for dollars and you're like if you get matched up with someone that you're friends with on a sunday it's like no conversation i would yeah so like are you do you try to keep a distance or are you like no I'm with these these guys know my life better than anyone else as most things go it's who my wife wants to go to dinner with okay who she's friends with your manager my manager yeah she she's very uh or not she sorry this golf thing is interesting there's definitely like a handful of guys I would be friends with if we didn't all play golf, if we didn't all work together.

And then the rest I get along with, but probably not well enough to just like go to dinner.

So I don't do it a ton, but there's a handful of guys I'll try to link up, especially if everyone's kind of solo.

Because nobody, I mean, I have a nine-month-old.

Nobody's grinding dinner with me at the moment.

Wait, so if you get linked up on a Sunday, say you're like, I't know fourth or fifth and you're with like one of your closest friends is there no conversation it actually depends the person so colin i would i would say colin and jt are like my closest friends out here and uh when me and me and justin play like we played travelers together we'll talk a lot and there's moments where you can kind of tell like maybe you know he was he was playing great on friday and i was trying to make the cut and it kind of felt like one of those like i'm gonna we both kind of like went our separate ways and call and i are super close and i love playing with him and we played the open together a couple weeks ago we talked a lot but we played the final uh final round at the farmers this year and we barely talked really and it's just because you kind of get in grooves we're like you know if one guy's playing really great you you sometimes if they get near the lead you almost kind of stay away a little bit let them kind of do their thing and then if they're not playing well you also kind of take a step back but if it's a thursday friday you're kind of chatting the whole time but i noticed colin and i really didn't talk much at all till after and it was nothing weird it was just one of those we both kind of, I think we were grinding against each other.

Yeah, so we wanted to, we were like competing

and he had that game face on.

So I was like, I'm going to stay my distance.

We're very stupid sports fans.

And when you were talking about like,

oh, Thursday was a little bit more relaxed,

Friday more relaxed, weekend more serious.

The strokes count the same on Thursday.

Yes, they do.

I've actually been trying to do a better job of that. I noticed like if I want to talk, start talking.
Like if it's going to help me, that's all that really matters. The only thing was is last week I played with Tommy Fleetwood on Sunday and he has this like mini driver thing.
And I've played with a couple people that have had it and I haven't really seen anybody seen anybody hit it that great he hit it unbelievable at least when i played with them and he had unbelievable and on 17 he hit it and he was right next to lead i think he was one back and uh he hit it right down the fairway and i almost went to go tell him like oh i've just seen a lot of people seem to hit that left like i was gonna ask him what do you do different to not and but the next hole has water like all down the left i'm like i'm gonna wait yeah so he teed off 18 i said took a lot in me not to talk to you about this but like i asked him uh so you try to pick your spots but it gets uh i don't know it for me like i i've been big on the hey if you're gonna treat thursday like it's just a walk in the park like try to treat sunday like that as well saturday too and if you're struggling maybe talk your way out of it a little bit uh go back to enjoying your day but it is tricky everyone's different it's nice being out here long enough you kind of know the guys who like to talk and the guys who don't so right if they don't like to talk poor joe i end up just talking to joe the entire time wearing him out he gets it he's a cool guy i like joe a lot i felt bad when i was talking to him i was like i would hate us too well joe's even mentioned though joe's mentioned he goes i hate that i like basically took it out on like big cat and pft because he goes i love them like i love their podcast he goes i just don't like what he had he deals with it more than i do yeah i can shut it off and just keep walking and i'm sure he looks at them and or i've heard him say things to people like you know basically shut the fuck up uh so he deals with a lot more of it than i do yeah are you still doing the uh no fox given on your wait wait we don't know that oh yeah sorry yeah in fg it's something no idea what it means i have like the uh i've read a couple uh different versions of that there's been i can't think of them off the top of my head but there's been some good uh good other guesses oh okay people are guessing yeah you should just start doing random letters and have everyone just try to guess what you're talking about a fucking garden that's a good one we we made a very inappropriate joke about that that i won't repeat but you can go back and listen to it i've made a guess at what it meant okay um you're going to be in the rider cup this year well i remember your joke now. A lot of pressure.
A lot of pressure. Now you're not competing for your bank account.
You're competing for America, which is a way bigger deal. You're going back to the homeland? Back to your home base? You're not playing on Europe? That's your home track in Europe, right? Ciao.
Yeah, so have you thought about, have you allowed yourself to think that far in advance where you're like, the Ryder Cup's coming up, this is going to be cool? Honestly, not until last week. I've been trying to, I mean, I've been in the getting a pick category this whole time.
I felt like last week, open really, but last week solidified it where now I think it would be crazy if I didn't, but you never know. But yeah, so I started to kind of dream about it last week, and it would be amazing.
I've watched it so much on TV. Last year at the President's Cup, I was playing with Billy Horschel and his caddy at the time.
He's played Fooch. He's been to a bunch of Ryder Cups, and he said, Are you having fun? And I said, This is the coolest thing I've ever done.
And he goes, Well, the next time it's hot in Arizona or the next time you don't want to practice, go practice, because I promise you the Ryder Cup is ten times crazier than this. And I can't really imagine what that's like because last year was insane at the President's Cup.
So, yes, I'm both nervous and excited. But it'll be fun.
Playing for your country is wild. I've done it twice now, and it is insane.
So to have a whole – it'll be crazy to do it over there where they're going to hate us, which is also kind of fun. I've only ever done it on our soil where you feel like the king of the world.
We can't stop them from saying, no, they say whatever they say. They're probably just ordering.
I'm going to look over. Yeah.
Right. Oh, this guy knows me ordering, ordering their breakfast.
That would be sick. I wonder if they do that.
Yeah. We do, we do pretzels and they do pasta dishes.
Wait. So do you, do you talk to some of the guys that are going to be on the team? Yes.
Have you guys had a conversation like, hey, this is coming up? Yeah. Like, start game planning? Yeah.
Just curious of who's going to play with who. They do a lot of – they have statisticians who kind of pick who you play with.
But we all have, like, preferences of, you know, like Colin, like I'd love to play with Colin and things like that.

So we just have talked a little bit about,

about just like what we think would happen,

but the team's still so much in flux.

You don't really know how it's going to round out.

We should get John Rahm. He went to Arizona State.

Yeah.

Like that's, he basically what he was like,

I'm going to go to the funnest place in America.

That'd be such a, that'd be a really tough sell for a trade. Yeah.
To get John Rahm. Yeah, we get Jon Rahm.
Or Fleetwood. He's got a mullet.
Yeah. That's pretty weird.
He looks like he could be from Alabama. There's no difference yet.
Are you a visualization guy? Yeah, a little bit. Here's a great headline.
Just visualize this headline. Ready? After the Ryder Cup's over.
Land of the free and the home of the brave. Oh, that that's good what do you think about that that's really good did you guys ever see the old picture there's a couple years ago at the open championship uh Kevin Kisner showed up the first day with a 1776 hat on oh love it that's awesome love it it's it's crazy because I feel like this one especially like everyone's talking oh who's gonna make the U.S.
team is you like the europe team is so much better it feels like you guys are going to be the underdogs yeah so that what better than underdogs on a road game so and we haven't won we haven't won on the road and since like the early 90s that's crazy yeah holy shit i didn't realize two years ago uh they absolutely dominated it was like one of the most dominating uh u.s or performances ever us won like they won by points or something. Yeah, Terrell Hatton said that it was because of COVID.
Oh, okay. Make an excuse.
Yeah, he said it was because of COVID because there were no European fans over there. Yeah.
And so he's like, it was the American fans, and they were being loud, and it was obscene, basically. Sounds like an excuse.
Yep. Sounds like an excuse.
Sounds like an excuse. Although.
I'm leaning into that excuse. Yeah.
We lose. Oh, absolutely.
We'll spin zone it for you. Yeah, yeah.
It's yeah it's no problem yeah no if you're an american golf fan you should start planning that vacation right now what a great trip that would yeah it would be awesome this is it was weird i've had a few people say oh i'm coming to rome and this and that and i think to myself that's wild but i guess it makes sense i mean italy's italy's awesome uh went for the first time last year the food is is a joke. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean.
It's incredible. We get it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, we're big spicy meatball guys. I'm not Italian, but I have Italian children.
So that counts. That does count.
Yeah. 1% Sicilian.
I have a shirt that says proud Italian father. Yeah.
You can't figure out if it means that I'm Italian or my kids are Italian. My kid's Italian.
But yeah, I'm a proud Italian father.

I think you take that.

Yeah, why not?

Why not?

Yeah.

All right. I have one last question.
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Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com. Pitch me on Cal coming to the Big Ten.
Because you guys are just completely lost in the wilderness. It's very easy.
What, you're going to say academics? Would you like a couple easy wins? Oh, that's true. Would you like to expand your fan base to the West Coast because at some point they cow fans might turn but they'll go straight to the big 10 okay but i'm just saying it's you i mean have you have you followed all this like you guys are you guys are cooked right now i know it's super depressing i i do feel really bad because i watch all the conference realignment from a perspective of my team is safe but i also know that like maybe they aren't in 10 years you know what i mean like it could come for everyone who's not a big dog i think the benefit now that i think about that cal will bring with all the that uh the smart folks that have gone there and that go there currently is that we could help you guys uh change your name to big 10 to big however many actual teams there are because they can they could do the math to figure out how many it is true because clearly you guys have not quite figured that one out yeah yeah uh that doesn't seem like a hard adjustment just even if one team came yeah we haven't been 10 for a very long time so it seems like it seems a little bit concerning that hasn't been adjusted yeah uh but yeah so i think those are a couple of the uh couple of the few things we bring okay what about this like Every time you beat Cal, you can just dunk on Aaron Rodgers, too.
That's true. Okay, this helps.
This helps. Yeah, no, I'm a big Aaron Rodgers fan now.
I am a huge Aaron Rodgers fan. It'd be crazy if anybody was anti-Aaron Rodgers fan.
Right. I hate him.
No. You do.
He's a good-looking guy. He's a piece of shit.
He should be in prison. That's disgusting.
You should be in prison for saying that. For everything? For murder? No, wait.
We don't joke about that. Why? Remember when he said that? I'm not joking.
You should actually be in prison. I don't joke about that? Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was very funny. In retrospect, that was a very funny joke that he said, we're not joking about.
Yes, yes. He fucking neutralized it.
Yeah. So fast.
All right, well, so I'll think about it. Yeah.
I'll talk to the commissioner. And my last is just please and my last is just please yeah please please please could maybe get you you don't want to join the acc no no i don't that would look that would be just so weird if it was bi-coastal the big 10 so much cooler we were talking i can't imagine like okay cal doesn't have an enormous budget and could you imagine like our softball team or our golf team well i guess golf travels a lot but like softball or baseball team has to go play like ruckers yeah ruckers gets the ruckers always get screwed in this conversation because they always get thrown in there though it's like oregon going to piscataway and like ruckers like what are we gonna do like we've been on a bus like that's our budget we have a bus budget yeah it's gonna be interesting so we we gotta you didn't graduate from cal though so i can't really take anything you're saying seriously four years you were there for four years you didn't graduate i have to do my thesis are you serious where this is the most messed up i played for my country in college and that's why i didn't get to go to my last thesis now you might not yes it might be illegal to do it against you well It might be illegal to do it.
Dr. Klee, I still have a vendetta against you.

Well, it might be illegal to do it,

but what if we had Billy Football

write your thesis for you?

What's it on?

It's basically sociology,

interdisciplinary studies.

Oh, sociology.

Consumer behavior and globalization.

You're such a mimbo.

Billy, do you know

consumer behavior and globalization?

Yeah, that's Billy.

That's right up Billy's eye.

He's got that for you.

Sociology is the major that everyone's like, I'm going to go pro. That would be huge.
I do sociology and communications. Well, they gave me the heads up.
I got in there, and then I kind of nudged the advisor. I'm like, yeah, you know I'm only in here because of the golf thing, right? He goes, oh, we know.
Oh, it's very fair. I was like, okay, cool.
He's like, take this class, this class, and this class. I want to ask you real quick before we're done.
You went to a Taylor Swift concert? I did. And you fell asleep during the concert? No.
Wait, you went with Lurch, too. Yeah, Random.
Did not know he was going. That's hilarious.
I saw that in the picture. That's so disrespectful to Taylor.
I did not sleep. No, I did.
How is it? The Swifties are going to be so upset. I heard that you fell asleep.
Who told you that? My wife's TikTok? Yeah. Yeah.
I was sitting. Sitting with your eyes closed.
You're resting your eyes. I mean, I had to blink at something.
How can can you sit down for that show? It's just the air is tour, man. Dude, buddy, you try three hours.
It was a grind. You play golf for four hours every day, and you walk on a course.
Max, I'm going to tell you this right now. Max, Max.
Yeah. I'm going to tell you this right now.
We can protect you from a lot of things online. Not Swifties.
No shot. We will.
I'll join the Swifties. I'll be like, yeah, that guy sucks.
We got an argument. So ourosh isner uh who's dave's buddy uh took took us to the concert lurch showed up he works for josh so that was a fun reunion uh so it's uh four four guys for their wives and one of our friends connor is six foot eight which is not good at a taylor swift concert and everyone stands all time and he was being so friendly he's sitting as much as he can but he wanted to watch at some point so he stands up so we decided to switch and make it uh guys and girls so that they could all hang out and swift out and we could just talk and uh so i walk over there i hadn't seen him in like it's a long show i hadn't seen like an hour and a half i'm like oh how's the show going we're standing and the the girl behind me is uh yells at me and goes hey it's not social hour it's a concert i can barely hear myself talk and i laughed i looked at her i laughed and she looked to be dead oh yeah serious and she goes you don't know how much this means to me yeah yeah and i was like okay sorry so i stopped talking and then she starts yelling at him to sit down oh and and then finally connor had had enough after two and a half hours of being yelled at for being tall being tall shamed and he finally turned around and lost it he goes you know what get better seats next time i just do not know what to tell you i'm very tall it's not social i didn't sleep i sat down i was exhausted that was very important to her though yeah it was again more important to her than all of us for the record you were not sleeping not sleeping you're just don't like taylor swift it was what's your least favorite Taylor Swift song? My least favorite? Yeah.
I think they're all great. Okay.
I'm afraid of all of you. You don't care about her.
It was awesome. Plus, I didn't get to see it because of my angle at the stage, but she gave Kobe Bryant's daughter the hat, and it was cool for me because it felt like then it was like full circle.
I remember because my running joke for a very long time, and it will continue, is anytime a Clippers fan talks shit to me, I tell them that Taylor Swift has more banners at Stable Center than the Clippers do. That's like Michael Jordan's numbers retired at the Heat.
Damn, that's sick. He is.
They retired his number. That's sick.
They're like, he's so good. But wait, so that was smart of you.
You just invoked Kobe to make us back off the Swift thing. But you do hate it.
Genius. Neutralized.
Genius. Were you even wearing a home-decorated Taylor Swift outfit? Not home-decorated.
Lurch's was. It was painted on him.
But I had the bracelet. I had the Taylor Swift shirt.
I was full mode. Yeah.
Okay. I got into it.
All right. We'll call off the dogs.
Please, because they're frightening. Yeah.
No are you don't want you want the smoke from kelly keeks no no no i've seen her videos no shot that's no she is very very serious about taylor swift we're good taylor is the greatest and she should be queen of the world yes yeah there you go queen of the world yeah i like that um all right well max best of luck this you, guys. We're rooting for you very, very much.

And everyone just, you know, lay off Max.

Let him go to work.

Say something after the round.

Yeah, sure.

I'll take anything that's just not the P word.

Whatever it is.

The funniest, most original comment Max will give you comment of the day.

Yes, comment of the day.

I'll pin it in my brain.

Just remember, Max is always great for us because he gives us his time.

He comes on whenever.

If we text him, he's like, yeah, come on. him If he wins a big tournament He'll come on drunk that night So with that we have to do our part So everyone's got to do their part We want more drunk Max We want him to win We want him to be drinking out of stuff We want all that We're sick of second place Max We want a winner T-10 Oh's more like eight or nine.
Ten. Ten.
T-ten. Oh, that max.
This guy. He's got to be

uncomfortable being this close to two trophies.

Yeah.

Show him on the camera.

Show him on the camera.

Break it down into hives.

Show him the camera.

He doesn't know what to do.

That sweater was black when I walked in.

What a loser.

Yeah, he's not content. All right thank you guys hey it's ria from tricks in the office it's officially mini skort season and abercrombie has the ones to go out in their scarlet mini is a classic it's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans.
And I'm excited to style their new Sienna Skort. It's a little more flirty and it's perfect for a date night.
Make plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. Here is Vernon Davis.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is two-time Pro Bowler, one-time Super Bowl champ Vernon Davis, also the host of pretty much every show ever created.
We want to talk football, but we have to start with the fact that you have seemingly hosted everything. How do you do it? How do you have enough time? We were going through it.
It was like Dancing with the Stars on dominoes masters american cornhole league professional horseshoes league you're doing everything dude yeah busy man how are you doing this hey man y'all sound like my you sound like my friends you sound like my grandmother my brother everyone's asking like hey how do you have time to do all this stuff and i just tell him look it's about i just try to maximize my time as much as i can and uh anytime i get an opportunity that seems right i go after it okay you're an actor you're a musician you just i don't know how you have enough time to do any of this but maybe most impressive of all from our perspective you are an owner of a basketball team you're a part owner of the brisbane bullets in the nbl down in australia we are the owners of the new zealand breakers of the nbl so we're kind of rivals right now i need to look up and see what happened the last time we played against you guys but owner to owner let's start here uh you played for dan snyder he's gone Josh Harris is now in

how excited are you about a new owner in Washington D.C.

because I know you're from the area

yeah I'm extremely excited for this team

this new ownership group because

Josh Harris is a guy he's all about the community

he's all about the people

that makes the team what it is

even the employees

and the rest of the group

that's a part of the upper management

and I really feel like

Thank you. makes the team what it is even the employees and the rest of the group that's a part of the upper management and i really feel like as a businessman or entity in general anytime you integrate those core pieces to what it is that you're trying to do and for them they're trying to win a championship i really think that they're going to make a difference within that organization yeah yeah the pft is very very excited that's how that's how we run the new zealand breakers as well all about the community we've done great things down down in christchurch yes yes huge um i got a question to start.
It is about to be football season.

You've been out of the league for a little bit now.

Do you find yourself this time of year being like, man, I kind of miss it.

Like I miss the maybe not camps, you know, the actual like physical toll of camp,

but the camaraderie, the grass, all that stuff.

No, I don't. Not anymore.

Not anymore. I used to because I'm so busy with everything else.
It's a bit of a distraction. It's like a distraction for me when it comes to football.
And it's not a bad thing because I don't want to spend the rest of my life wishing that I was still on the football field. I had my time.
I enjoyed it. there's nothing greater than being able to walk out onto the football field on Sundays and play a game that you grew up playing in and playing on teams that

you grew up rooting for. So it's an amazing accomplishment.
I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. So with that being said, I just try to move on and just take the things as they come.
Yeah, that's good perspective. That's very good perspective because there's a lot of guys who leave the league and you can tell that there's like a hole missing there and they wish they were out there.
And so it's good perspective that you've been able to have that happen and then pass. Yes, absolutely.
Yeah. And during your career, you played on a nice little stretch of all-time football guys as your head coach.
Yes. Yeah, obviously Mike Nolan.
People forget he wore a suit on the sidelines at one point to honor to honor his father I think he's the last coach to do that it was like him and Jack Del Rio they kind of pushed the dress code uh one season then you played for Mike Singletary and I have a question about Mike Singletary for you um Delaney Walker your former teammate it was you know it's a big story at the time you and Singletary didn't well. You had your differences.
You said what you said. But Delaney Walker shared a story that at one point, your coach made a rap song about you after you guys got into a little argument.
And then he came into a meeting the next day, and he made everybody listen to a rap song about how Vernon Davis is all about himself and just wants the ball. Is that true? Well, it was a rap song about myself and Michael Crabtree at the time.
Michael Crabtree came in and he and I got into, I don't know, we had a debate. I wouldn't say an argument.
We had a debate and Coach Singletary heard about it or either he saw it, I can't remember. But he stood up in the meeting and he made the song about Crabtree and I.
What is it weird?

I mean, the Mike Singletary clip, obviously a very famous clip.

What happened afterwards in the locker room when he, you know,

does the whole can't win with him, can't.

Unfortunately for you, it was very quotable.

But what was the conversation like after that went down?

I'd rather play with 10 guys than to play with someone that's all about themselves. I want winners.
I told Vernon. Can't do it.
Can't win with them. I can't coach them.
Can't do it. And so unfortunately for Mike Singletary, that was his defining moment as a coach.
He obviously had a Hall of Fame playing career. But what afterwards did you watch that and you're like, hey, what the fuck, coach? I'm trying out here.
Yeah, I'm sitting back with my girlfriend, my kid's mom at the time, and I'm looking at it and I'm like, wow, this is crazy. This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.
But as I had a chance to ponder on it i i realized that it was the it was the right thing for me i needed it at that time because coming into the national football league being able to have some success once you figure the game out you develop you have this chip on your shoulder where you need a humbling moment and i think that was a humbling experience for me that i needed so i'm not gonna sit there and say that he was wrong because i can't because what he did didn't go against me it actually helped me yeah yeah what about when uh when he took his pants off in the locker room and said you guys are all playing like ass and then pointed at his butthole did that was that a defined did that help you did that light a fire inside you no it didn't it didn't. It didn't.
But I get what he was trying to do, what he was trying to – what he wanted to relate to the team. Honestly, we were losing, man.
We were getting kicked. We were getting punched.
We just didn't have that winning team at the moment. But as time continued to go by, we got better yeah yeah Harbaugh Harbaugh takes over and you guys have some immediate success with him another

all-time football guy uh what was it like we we've talked to coach Harbaugh a bunch on this show we

know we know him pretty well but I'm always interested to hear stories from guys that

played for him because it seems like it's just every day is a brand new story about oh my god

I can't believe what coach Harbaugh did today uh so from your perspective like what was he like

Thank you. from guys that played for him because it seems like it's just every day is a brand new story about oh my god I can't believe what coach Harbaugh did today uh so from your perspective like what was he like as a motivational guy as a head coach Harbaugh was very charismatic he was he had great energy he's a great human being he was the kind of guy that's like yeah he's gonna let you do what you want to do but it has to be within the scope of the team like it has to be you can't go outside the team like you know you can't do anything foolish you can't get into car accidents you can't do you can't steal you don't want to do all that kind of stuff that's a good rule be a part of the team i'm on his side with the please don't get into car accidents rule yeah yeah i mean just no i, just, no, I'm just giving examples.
I'm just saying, I'm just saying like, he'll let you, like he'll give us, you know, throws a bone here and there. Like, you know, some guys might want to have, I don't know, want to bring their family.
Guys want to bring their families to practice on a Monday, Tuesday. They might want to have extra spaces for their family to park at game day.

He'll work with us, but only if we're winning games and doing the right thing.

He was an amazing, amazing coach.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

Like I said, great energy, great spirit about him.

And guys just wanted to win.

Guys just wanted to win with him.

And that's what we loved about Harbaugh.

Yeah.

And then you went to Jim Tomsula, who is an all-time football guy, but maybe not the most successful head coach ever. But we love him.
He's a dog. Yeah, we love Jim Tomsula.
Jim Tomsula was quite the guy. He was actually my neighbor for a few years.
I knew his family. His son and my son played on the same flag football team.

So I had a chance to really get to know Jim Tomsula and his family

in San Francisco as well

as in Washington. He was also with the

commanders when I was there.

So from those four guys,

if we're going Mike Nolan,

Singletary, Harbaugh, Tom Sula,

that's a murderer's row

of just intensity, one right after the other that you played for. Out of those four guys, who was the most intense? Oh, most intense, I'm going to have to say Mike Singletary for sure.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was intense, man.
You just had to always make sure you were on top of your assignment and make sure you did the you did the right thing around him. He was no joke.
Yeah. Yeah, he has that stare that you could just see, and you're like, oh, man.
He's intense all the time. We interviewed him once, and we started talking about football, and I thought he was going to cry just talking about football because he's that intense.
Yeah. I concur.
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That's www.nobullproject.com backslash barstool for 30% off. I have a tweet I want to read to you and I want you to walk me through it.
This is from – actually, it doesn't have a – oh, it's from 2013.

It's from you, and it says,

it should be a league rule saying that a defender cannot tackle a player

by his penis.

NFL, the most painful thing ever.

Hashtag NFL.

You got tackled by your dick.

Oh, man, that was painful that day.

I remember that.

I remember that like the back of my hand That was tough Man that was tough What happened when you You got tackled by your penis Did you say to the guy like hey dude don't tackle me by my penis What the fuck are you doing No I was just trying to figure out what was going on I mean I knew the uniform was uniform, but I didn't know your penis was the part of your uniform. What's going on? The clip is so funny because it's like it couldn't be more apparent that he was like trying to tackle your big guy, hard to bring down, and he's like, well, I'll just grab for the penis and bring him down that way.
Yeah, I should have wore some pants or put a sticker across my crotch saying, don't touch here. that should be a flag i mean there's a reason brett farve never got tackled by his dick but you on the other hand may be a bigger target there uh yeah so i you you've had you've had some interesting times in your career you go out to denver and you win a super bowl was that the that was the year where peyton manning uh he was injured and he he had that famous picture of him in the cold tub Wearing the football helmet studying his iPad While you guys were out of practice because I guess he was limited then But what was was there was there a big I don't know if it's Culture shock is the right word but going like starting to play with a Legend like Peyton Manning and how intense that guy is and how much he Prepares was there anything that you had to change about your game going out To Denver playing with him Peyton Manning and how intense that guy is and how much he prepares.
Was there anything that you had to change about your game going out to Denver playing with him? Peyton Manning was a special individual. He was, he was different, man.
He was who we perceive him to be. He is very, very about football.
He's an example of what a football player is supposed to be like, both physically and intellectually. He had it all, man.
Just watching him be a leader in that locker room was quite an experience. I thought of myself as a leader during most of my career, I would say, but the way he led was different.
It was beautiful to watch. And I definitely took some advice from him and learned a few things yeah yeah I mean it's obviously the it speaks for itself his entire career is incredible I mean it was uh it was cool to to see you because you were such a great player on the Niners and it felt like you know we talked about the some of the losing years to see you have that moment especially after the Super Bowl against the Ravens to have that moment where it's like it all comes together and it's like yeah he deserves he's a guy who feels like we're watching he deserves to win a Super Bowl ring yes absolutely that was probably a relief too like you get you get a Super Bowl ring you still have a lot of career in front of you and then you're like i can go play wherever and just make a bunch of money and i don't have to worry about chasing a ring or finally getting one because i've already gotten there yeah i'm i like to look at of course you want to win a super bowl with the team that you started out with but you have to keep in perspective that even though you don't you're you you didn't even though you didn't win a championship with the team that you were initially on, think about the hard work, the hours, the dedication, all the time you put in to being the best football player you could possibly be.
All that blood, sweat, and tears that you put out. That's what you did did it for you did it for the moment to come and that moment to come comes in any way it doesn't like coach he's always say he's always say it doesn't matter how you win as long as you win yeah yeah you know it could be a field goal maybe maybe we we kick a field goal and we win a game that way or maybe We don't put up any points.
It's all field goal points. But it's okay.
We won the game. We move on to the next one and we get even better.
Yeah. I mean, it's a good message for everyone listening.
A question I like to ask guys who played like you did, what is the thing that fans get wrong the most when it comes to the professional game? What is the thing that, like, you hear fans say, and they're just like, you're just wrong. You don't understand how the game works or the preparation works or what goes into this.
Well, a lot of times you hear fans talk about play calling. Why didn't coach call this play? Why didn't coach call that play? But they don't understand, like, it's all situational.
Like, it depends on what they're lining up in like we might come out i might we might come out in the team we plan we might plan for a cover two team right but the team might come out in a different coverage you know it might be cover two man you know it's a difference between regular cover two cover two man or they might have one week they might have somebody else

over the tight end, and then they might have a free safety or linebacker covering the tight end, then you play them, they got a corner on you, a nickel. Or they just switch it up.
They take a corner and put them a nickel. You just never know.
You have to be prepared for anything. So certain plays that we plan for, we can't really run in practice.
And then the fans or someone on the outside might be looking at a play totally different than the offensive coordinators looking at it. They're looking at what's best for the team.
Sometimes it's not about how good a player he is, right? We might have Calvin Johnson over here. Some people might say, why didn't he just throw to Calvin Johnson? He's lined up on Asante Samuels, right? Over to the right.
But yeah, maybe. But the way the coach is seeing is that this is the better play for us in this situation.
We can take a chance right here to Calvin Johnson. Yeah, sure.
But this might be the best situation right here. Yeah.
This might be theatch maybe calvin johnson is has caught like three passes out of three passes out of seven attempts maybe it's not going his way so coach might want to look on this side it depends it goes that way and yet i said calvin johnson catching three passes out of seven because look calvin johnson is not perfect yeah he's the hall of fame he's. But even great players have bad days.
Even great players, sometimes it might not go the way they planned. Yeah.
But nine times out of ten, they're going to come through. I mean, it's a good point because I know we sit on the couch all the time and we're like, why didn't you pass there? Why didn't you run there? And I know I'm wrong, but it feels good.
It feels good to criticize coaches. It feels really good to just say they need to dial something up here yeah like just you can always dial something up dial it up heat up the quarterback that's all you got to do on defense take a shot take the top off the defense i like saying that too it's really easy it's not a hard make them respect the deep ball then the underneath opens up see all these things they're like things that we kind of like halfway here from commentators when we're watching the football games, and they seep into like part of our brain, and we just regurgitate it back out like it's our own thoughts.
You think we're smart. I know you think we're smart.
You got to establish the run. Part of my take, but I think – part of my take, but you guys are smart.
Yes, yes. What was the conversation with your brother when he retired at halftime? He's right there.
Well, Vontae, come and tell us. Nothing, Vontae.
Nothing, nothing, nothing. Did you talk to him on the phone? He actually just went to go see my grandmother.
He just walked out the door. Halfway through this interview.
Yeah, yeah. He gave up on the interview.
That's so funny. But what did he say? Yeah yeah i mean we we had a chance to chat about it vante has always been the type of kid to do what he feels he wants to do he's been like that since he was a kid whatever he wanted to do he always felt like he had the freedom and liberty to do it and look who am i to judge of course as an older brother you you wonder why you try to figure it out and you say, hey, why? I didn't teach him that.
I didn't. We didn't talk about this right here.
But then you got to go back and ask yourself a question like. I don't know what's going on mentally with this kid.
I don't know what's going on with my brother. Maybe there's something in his head that I can't see that I can't feel no one knows about you don't know so i can't judge him i can't say that what he did was right or if it was wrong i don't know i don't know i don't i don't know if i would if i was in that situation i don't know if i would have done the same thing maybe i would have i don't know depends on who you are mentally because some people and we're all in our in our mind and we we're so caught up on what how things are supposed to work or how the world sees things or how things supposed to be oh if i'm a if i'm if i'm a tough guy i don't give up i don't quit but that's not always the case we have to take we got have to take into account that life is sometimes tough.
Life is okay. Life is sometimes

stressful. Sometimes life can be too hard.
And you have to walk away from something, something that

you love. And in the moment, there's no right or wrong way to that person.
So I had to really

process all that and think about it. I said, okay, I get it.
This is a very compassionate moment.

And I have to be there for my it. This is a very compassionate moment,

and I have to be there for my brother,

and I have to have an understanding

because that could have happened to me.

Yeah, I was going to say,

I might have asked the question wrong.

We judged, and we thought the moment ruled.

No, it's fine.

No, we thought it ruled.

We thought it was awesome.

It was awesome.

We thought it was fun.

Who hasn't been in a spot where, like,

you know what, I'm done.

I'm done.

I loved it. He knew he was done.
He walked away. He was like, like, you know what? I'm done.
I'm done. I loved it.

He knew he was done. He walked away.
He was like, I'm not going to go out there and pretend. I quit.
Yeah. We loved it.
In the moment, we were like, this is awesome. If I did it, if I did it, you guys could talk about me.
You could say whatever you want. That's fine.
Everyone has a right to an opinion. Everyone has their take, their perspective, and the way they see things.
This is okay. And you should.
I mean, like, everyone has to say something about whatever it is that just happened to someone.

You know?

It's just the way life is.

It's okay.

Yeah.

But we had his back, for the record.

Like, we thought it was very cool.

Yeah.

We liked it.

It was admirable in my mind.

Yeah.

I love quitting things.

Yes.

It's like my favorite.

Yeah.

When you're done, you're done.

Why keep going? When you're done, you're done you're done why keep going

now you can make fun of it

he can make fun of it for the rest of his life

he can become a comedian and talk about it

yeah true

that's a fact

so you hosted the challenge after show

I assume you're a challenge fan

and I wanted to ask you

who your GOAT challenge competitor is

oh man that's a good question

thank you

Thank you. you're a challenge fan and I wanted to ask you who your GOAT challenge competitor is.

Oh man, that's a good question.

Thank you.

Thank you. I really like Fessy.

We became really good friends. I know

a lot of people probably wouldn't say he's the GOAT.

Yeah, there's only one answer.

But I think with his background

in sports, I thought he did a wonderful job.

I think he did a great job just, just, I don't know, doing what, whatever it is that they do out there. It's crazy, man.
I can't imagine myself going out there and doing that. I cannot imagine.
So I take my hat off to all those guys just for everything that they're able to do from just being a total athlete. Because that stuff is hard.
It's not easy out there. You have to be athletic to do a lot of the stuff that they're doing.
Yeah. I mean, the answer is Johnny Bananas.
That is the GOAT. It pains me.
I'm not a Johnny Bananas guy, but he is the GOAT. I knew you were going to say that, man.
He's the GOAT. You know he is.
The mental, the physical, he's the GOAT. You had a little period where CT got his cardio back, and he was focusing on that.
West did steroids. But why would you say CT? Why would you take Johnny Bananas over CT? Because as much as I love CT, he doesn't have the longevity that Johnny Bananas does.
And he didn't have the mental game. CT was a guy who lived with his heart on the sleeve.
If something pissed him off, he let it know. He bashed Adam Skullin that one season.
Episode one. He ate his brains.
It's mental. You know it's mental.
It's Johnny Bananas. The answer is Johnny Bananas.
Everyone always goes for Johnny Bananas or CT. It's Johnny Bananas.
Unfortunately, it's Johnny Bananas. He is the guy.
I think you have to be impartial as the host. You can't.
You want to say it's Johnny Bananas, but you can't. But you know it is.
Look, like I said, I really like Fessy. I like his potential.
I like his athletic background. And I think if he's one of those guys to stay around as long as CT and Johnny Bananas has been around, I think he could become one of those guys that we can talk about and really be in the rankings.
But I still like him. I think he did a wonderful job.
Okay. You were famous for your incredible athleticism going back to high school.
You set some records in track and field. Going into the NFL draft, your combine stats were just unreal.
Go back and look at what he ran in the 40-yard dash, how big he was, how strong he was. But then you get to D.C.
and you get to work with the strength and conditioning goat, Deuce Gruden, who I'm sure just took your body to the next level. Chiseled it.
Just chiseled it, yeah. Tell us about Deuce Gruden because we are a big pro-Deuce Gruden podcast.
We think he's an absolute beast. Yeah, Deuce is one of those guys where you say, don't let the size fool you, right? Because he's like what? Deuce is probably like 5'2".
Yeah. On a good day.
But he was really, he was very inspiring. It was cool to be able to work with him and have him be a part of the strength and conditioning team.
His knowledge, his experience, and his energy, good vibes, great vibes. So being able to be around that was pretty phenomenal.

Yeah, I would imagine.

When's the last time you lifted?

Because your peak, I'm reading these numbers,

460 bench press, what was it, 685 squat.

If you just got on the bar right now,

what do you think you could still put up? 135 pounds. That's it? Come on.
Come on. My shoulder.
My shoulder. Look, my body's good.
Never had surgery. But I got, you know, shoulders popped out here and there.
But I just try to stay away from that bench press. okay that's i mean i i feel like that's a mark of like every ex uh great athlete they're like yeah look at my numbers and then you ask them they're like i just use resistant bands and it's like well i can't say anything because i know you squatted 685 when you were like 18 years old yeah i'm just looking to look good i gotta look good i'm just looking to look good yeah you're an actor now you gotta have the uh the popcorn muscles for the screen right so you you co-starred in a movie with morgan freeman how was that i imagine that that was intimidating work with him it was pretty pretty amazing working with morgan freeman i i just like taking his energy and just taking in how his work process it was was phenomenal.
Watching him have a debate with the director for 15 minutes after we were done with rehearsal, that was pretty cool to see. Just the best voice ever.
Yes, by far. I imagine anything that he says sounds good.
Yes, by far. By far.
Morgan Freeman. Tough question.
Let's take Patrick Mahomes out of this. What quarterback right now would you have liked to play with? Alex Smith.
No, right now. Is Alex Smith still playing? I'm messing with you.
I'm messing with you. Yeah, because he could still be playing.
I don't know. I'd love to play with Lamar Jackson.
Okay. Why? Just because of how good he is? He can do it all.
When you have a quarterback that can run past and run, that's a dual threat. The chances of them winning the championship are very high.
At some point, I think Lamar Jackson is going to win the championship if he can still win between now and the next three years. Yeah.
Give us your official prediction for this season. Who's winning the Super Bowl? And then secondary, a team that's going to surprise somebody.
The team that's going to win the Super Bowl this year will probably be Baltimore Ravens. Okay.
Secondary, we're going to surprise everyone. I think the Washington Commanders secondary is going to surprise everyone.
Good. I like that.
I like that a lot. Do you root for the Commanders now? Yeah, I do because I'm here in Washington, D.C., and I played for them for four years.
Yeah. Vernon, I have one last question.
It's actually a guest question. So I saw that you're an avid curling fan.
I was honorary captain for three Olympic Games. Okay.
So I have the only curling fan I know, our guy, All Business Pete, who does our tech stuff um pete do you have a curling question for vernon davis because i've never met a curling fan you're the second curling fan i've ever met so i don't even know what to ask you about curling how much time we got you go ahead yeah you could it's the it's the robot question go ahead uh what's your favorite sport and why is it curling a lot of people say I don't think my favorite sport is curling. I'm not going to say it's my favorite sport.
My favorite sport is basketball. I love basketball.
Not familiar with it. I tried the sport when I was in San Francisco and I went out on the ice.
And to me, it felt like shuffleboard. It felt like I was, it was equivalent to being, I don't know.
Yeah. Being in front of a shuffleboard.
It was a very strategic game, and after I figured it out, I was like, wow, this is a pretty cool game. Were you good when you were the honorary captain? Because Pete here tried once, and he failed miserably.
That's hard. Is it translate being a curling fan to actually being good at curling well i think i think that if you you can he can yeah you can get good at you can get good at i gotta practice you're good at anything i think you really put the time in to perfect the craft and the craft is just it's real it's it's interesting the way they they spin the slightly, and they're sweeping to get more distance.
It's a sweet science is really what it is. It's a sweet science, yeah.
All right, well, that was, I mean, I had to have Pete, he literally is the only person I've ever met who likes curling, and I saw that you were an honorary captain and you like curling, so you're the only two people i know in the world that like curling it is the most boring sport ever created that's because you don't understand it and he doesn't get it he doesn't get it brain he can't figure it out you you spin the rock onto a uh it's a target it's shuffleboard it's the easiest game to understand i like watching curling once every four years when it comes on at like i don't know 7 a.m when the olympics are in a weird time zone it's the first thing they put on it's a relaxing way to start your day but i don't think hey can you make a drinking game out of it if you can make a drinking game out of it then i'll watch it yeah it's called shuffleboard at a bar of course those guys are drunk those guys are drunk when they're on the ice come on you should lead with lead with that, Pete. Here's why you should like curling.
Yeah. I'm trying to keep it exclusive.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah, Pete. Well, you couldn't blow it up if you tried.
Yeah. They're coming to New Jersey.
U.S. Nationals.
All right. That's not curling talk.
At the American Dream in New Jersey. No one cares.
Everybody's invited. No one cares.
Everyone? Everyone. Everyone's invited? Everyone's invited.
Putin? Well. Okay.
Okay. Not everyone.
Not everyone. Not everyone.
He's busy. Not everyone.
He's busy. Not everyone.
Wait, Vernon, your favorite sport is basketball? Who's your favorite player? Who's your coach? Oh, my favorite player of all time, Michael Jordan. All right, good.
Good answer. And who's your favorite player right now? Well, I want to – I can't go back.

I'm going to stick with this guy even though he's getting old.

I'm going to have to say LeBron James.

No, come on.

Come on.

Don't you think it's weird that he's played 20 years without a major injury?

Well, look, I played 14 years with no surgery.

Yeah, that's kind of weird too.

Yeah, very interesting.

Take care of yourself, man.

Yeah, how much do you take care of yourself? How much does it cost a month to take care of yourself all you spend well i would go to the couch so i would go i would get a massage massage three times a week that's about 150 dollars per massage chiropractor twice a week that's about 75 bucks then i have what else then i'm getting stretched so those are my main two those are the main two things that i would do to take care of myself massages and chiropractic yeah i always love those stories that come out once every couple years about a player that like just lies and say spend like $70,000 a month on their body to stay in shape. Those are the best.
I think about $2,400 a week will do it. Okay.
That seems reasonable. That's a good ROI if you're getting million-dollar contracts.
Yeah. That's good.
Yeah. I think you made a sound investment.
Yeah. No, I wouldn't go any more than that.
Okay. All right.
How depressed would you be if you woke up one day and your body just looked like mine and you look down you're like what the hell i wouldn't have anything to live for did you say i should kms yeah i think so i will not kms vernon this has been awesome man appreciate you coming on anytime you want to come on and talk ball, we're open to having you back. So thanks so much, man.
Come to Chicago sometime. Stop by the studio.
Yeah. Okay, absolutely.
Thank you, guys. We're going to get to Mount Rushmore in a second, but it's brought to you by Babbel.
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Rules and restrictions may apply. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
Mount Rushmore of best broadcaster calls. Jake you feel the pressure yes do you think shot of a lifetime will be picked I mean it was either going to be picked but you guys are talked about during no we were not going to pick it it was definitely what you're talking about honorable mention you guys are going to.
Okay. Can you give us the scores? Well, now that the paintball video has been dropped, it's going to be 26 for Big Cotton PFT, 24 for Hacks.
Hacks. Hank and Max.
Hank and Max and 23 for us. So three points separating everyone.
We have seven left. Anyone's game.
This is anyone's game. All right.
What is the order today? it'll be me and billy it'll be hank and max it'll be big fat and pft there's so much pressure on you for this one jake though yeah but like you're expected to win right hank was expected to win taco bell yeah max that's very true he was yeah and you guys just read a buzzfeed article also watch the paintball video yes watch the video. Speaking of people that should have won, the fact that Billy's team was the only one that didn't win was...
I mean, you had me. I was scared.
Spoiler. Billy also just cheated the whole time.
Billy's an army of one. I actually can't wait to see the footage to see how much Billy really cheated.
Did you watch it? I am looking over the last cut right after we're done. Was it clear with Billy just kept on getting shot and not going,

doing anything?

Matt is nodding his head. Good.

I'm happy because that was maybe the most frustrating thing of all time

is shooting Billy.

And then him being like,

it didn't hit me,

bro.

It's like,

dude,

there's paint right there.

He said it was the adrenaline adrenaline.

Yeah.

He did very difficult to play.

Billy's too tough for paintball.

He doesn't feel the bullets in him. And then he pulled off his shirt and he had like 10 welts on his back.
Do we get that footage too? Yeah. After that, good.
Good. Yeah.
Okay. Yes.
Big pick. 1-1.
Yes. What are you doing? I'm excited.
There's no pressure on this pick. It's the greatest call in the history of sports.
Do you believe in miracles? We did not fumble it. Good pick.
Good pick. Oh, we're going to play all the picks too, which would be great.
Also, I feel like I learned this semi-recently. Not the championship.
Wait, Jake, you didn't know that? No, no, I knew it. Have you ever seen Miracle? The entire start.
But I saw it in elementary school. That's the whole point, though.
You haven't watched Miracle since elementary school? Whenever a team wins, it's such a rewatchable movie. I didn't get that.

Could you try again?

Whenever it came out.

You fucking minx.

I saw it in theaters like one other time.

We're keeping that.

Hell yeah, Siri.

Jake, you know, the whole origin of the people forget that segment was just repeating that

people forget that that wasn't the championship game.

Yeah.

I obviously fell for it.

Five seconds left in the game. Do you believe in't the championship game.
Yeah. I obviously fell for it.
You believe in miracles?

Yes.

Unbelievable.

Yeah, it was great.

Do we want just like –

I think it should say –

Because we only have so much room for characters.

It should say, do you believe in miracles?

And then the USA versus hockey, Lake Placid.

Okay.

Okay.

Good pick.

Great pick. Thanks.
We're going to go with down goes Frazier. Ah, okay.
That's what we figured was going to be too. Yep.
And what was the official Frazier versus Foreman? Foreman, yeah. I can't say that I watched that fight.
Andy Dundee Ali's trainer right next to me is saying that you may hear him. Down Frazier down goes Frazier down goes Frazier the heavyweight champion is taking the mandatory eight counts and four good pick what should we do PFT we thought those were going to go one two we did I think that the third one on our list is iconic all All right.
It's third or eight.

Three.

Okay. We're going to go our first, but you say our first pick.

The band is on the field.

Band is on the field.

It's at a game so famously called the game.

Yep.

Cal Stanford.

The band was on the field.

Was literally on the band was literally on the field.

Then ran on the field.

I still don't know how they didn't stop that play. It's insane.
it's just called the play the play it's pretty sick armand will probably try to squib it and he does ball comes loose and the bears have to get out of bounds rogers along the sideline another one they're still in deep trouble at midfield they tried to do rugby baby the ball is still loose as they get it to rogers this happening today With social media It would have been insane For all the haters that think that rugby laterals Can't work in football Oh, it's pretty good. Even insane.
Sensational. Dramatic.
Oh.

Great call.

For all the haters that think that rugby laterals can't work in football.

Yep.

Bear witness to that play.

Should we go five?

Yeah, let's do five.

All right, memes.

You'll love this pick.

Can you just type it in?

Yep.

Yep.

I know it.

Castellanos home run.

Fuck.

It's so good.

It's so good.

It was on our list, but I couldn't take it 1-1. That would just be a slap to the face of the whole industry to the whole industry it would have been it would have to the but i had it on the list it is such a hilarious funny call iconic call became a meme that's probably going to win you guys the draft just because of the social media and i mean i just made a comment earlier tonight that uh that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of.
If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, As there's a drive in a deep left.
I think the fact that it was during COVID too, and there was no crowd noise. I don't know if I'm going to be putting on this.
It could have been better. Holy shit.
What a call. What a call.
That's like one of those things that I can't wait until my kids are older and be like, hey, let me show you this video. And let me set the stage for you.
It's so good. Okay.
Yeah. You guys have your next pick? Yes.
This is a favorite one of my lifetime that isn't necessarily my team. Uh-oh.
But Auburn's going to win the football game. Okay.
The kick six? I don't know. Kick six.
Kick six. Good one.
Good one. This is all going to be good.
This is going to be the least contentious one we have. I just really like listening to these, too.
It makes me think about sports. This is their home radio call.
Yeah, that's the one. Rod Bramblett, who unfortunately passed away a few years ago.
What a bummer. I'm just trying to give context.
I don't need context. The guy died.
Okay. It is the voice of the Tigers.
It's just an extra death I don't want to think about. I guess if this thing comes up short, he can field it and run it out.
All right, here we go. All right, here we go.
56 yarder. It's got – no, does not have the leg.
And Chris Davis takes it in the back of the end zone. He'll run it out to the 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 45.
There goes Davis. Oh, my God.
Auburn's going to win the football game. Auburn's going to win the football game.
He ran the miss field goal back. He ran it back at 109 yards.
They're not going to keep him off the field tonight. That's a great part, too, right? They're not going to keep him off the field.
Also, I like the analyst going Oh my God! Auburn has won the Iron Bowl in the most unbelievable passion you will ever see. I cannot after a big enough win in the SEC everybody's stingray Steve comes out a little bit.
Yep. Yep.
That was a great call. All right.
Here we go. Good pick.
Good picks all around, guys. So far so good.
so good picks all around i don't have anything to say bad about like people would be like what's wrong with you guys you just did a mount rush war with no bickering we had uh what was uh heavy machinery yeah well that's because we just don't know shit we're like oh yeah i guess that's good pick yeah um all right this next one uh bill buckner behind the bag vince scully it's uh during fever pitch jimmy fallon i think he has nightmares from this there's a scene okay this one doesn't like hit my brain immediately like some of the other ones but let's listen i'm familiar but it's uh maybe a reach we'll see we'll let the voters say we'll see oh if you can't find it then this is the worst pick of all time it's the error i think you pass it bill buckner between the legs yeah scully calls mookie wilson's epic at bat yeah little roller up along first behind the bag

it gets to Buckner

here comes Knight and the Mets win Now, it's a great call because it's Vin Scully.

I don't know.

That might have been the first reach of the draft.

Okay.

I mean, maybe for our fan base, it might not be the best pick. So.
Okay. It's an iconic play.
Okay. I think it's a great call.
Okay. Next pick.
We'll see. Our next pick is going to be.
Wait. You don't have a snake works? Oh, fuck.
I got fucked up.

I got fucked up.

We will see you tomorrow night.

Okay.

Good pick.

Wait, which one?

There's two.

Jack and Joe.

Jack Buck said it.

Then when Joe said it, it was really cool.

There's a right answer.

It's Jack Buck.

Yeah.

I would have gone Joe.

Because his was a callback to his dad. Because Joe has all sentiment in it Unfortunately Jack Buck passed away What? Fucking A Alright Kirby Puckets He's taking the original Into deep left center From Mitchell And we'll see you tomorrow night That's great The plexiglass at the old twins place.
I have no idea why it was there. Oh, the best.
I was rooting so hard for the Braves at this point. But Kirby Puckett was awesome.
Yeah. Did some things later on in life, I think.
Yeah, we don't need to get into that. But just like how he was a true short king.
Yep. He was a hoss too a hoss of a short king and a great name okay people forget that the twins have pinstripes yeah we're going for a more general one here but we do have a specific what is that if you want uh we're just gonna go with bang and oh you can't do that you have to pick a You have to pick a bang.
Give us your best bang, Max.

The curry from three.

Bang after.

You'll know the one I'm talking about.

The regular season game against the Thunder?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

PFT.

We dominated this draft.

I think we got two great ones coming up.

So many good ones.

Westbrook on the drive. Falling away.
Won't go. Rebound taken by Iguodala.
They do have a timeout. Decide not to use it.
Curry. Way downtown.
Bang! Bang! Oh, what a shot from Curry. It was a double bang.
That was a double bang. Yeah, you got two bangs out of that one.
I mean, that is the best play-play guy call and that is his that is the best one that he has the rare double bang when it happens you get goosebumps yeah uh all right pft so i think to me this is pretty easy big cat we'll go number eight and then we'll go number six yep you like that same you go go eight first same exact wavelength okay that was exactly what i was thinking we just. I can't believe that this baseball call is still on the board.
I don't believe what I just saw. Kirk Gibson.
Kirk Gibson home run. Yeah, that's what I was going back and forth.
I was thinking. That's the Vin Scully call.
I overthought it. I overthought it.
That's the Vin Scully call. That's a good one.
And then underrated part about this call, he doesn't talk after he says that. He lets the moment exist.
Yes. It's like jazz.
It's the words that he didn't say. Gibson swings and a fly ball to deep right field.
This is going to be a home run. Unbelievable.
A home run for Gibson. And the Dodgers have won the game five to four.
I don't believe what I just saw. That's not Vin.
That's not Vin. I don't believe what I just saw.
That's just how I think of all Dodgers moments. I'm like, oh, it must have been Vin Scully.
I mean, it's iconic, iconic moment. I don't believe what I just saw is so great.
What? What's his name? Buck Ripley. Oh, even better.
Buck. Buck Ripley.
I mean, I don't believe what I just saw. That's goosebumps.

Wait, why? The article I'm reading is crediting Vin Scully.

No, it's saying credit Vin Scully

for Jack Buck's

historic call.

Wait, what?

Wait, play the...

It's not Vin Scully.

Gibson swings and a fly ball

to deep right field.

This is going to be a home run. Unbelievable.
So it's Kirk Gibson, Vince Scully. Oh, wait, wait.
It's Buck. It's Jack Buck.
Jack Buck. Yeah, it's Jack Buck.
Yeah. That makes sense.
That was a very dumb moment of ours. Did you say his name was Buck Gibson? so here's what happens right i when i typed into google who said i don't believe what i just saw in big letters the big headline that comes up is it looks like it says buck aped ripley yeah all right and it's saying that jack buck aped a guy named ripley like copied a guy named All right.
So there's a whole story about how people think it was Vin Scully because it was a Dodgers, which we just did. Yeah.
Buck was calling the game for the national radio broadcast. He said, I don't believe what I just saw.
Scully was calling the game for the local TV broadcast. He had equally historic call in a year that has been so improbable.
The impossible has happened. Wow.
So both i i don't believe what i just saw is is the iconic one uh all right last one i can't believe this thing get picked i cannot believe this thing get picked maybe the greatest call of all time it is jim ross mankind he's broken in half i cannot believe this thing get picked.

I'm not an old school wrestling guy.

You guys are the only wrestling guy. But this is a meme.

No, no, but you've heard it.

It's a meme format as well.

Memes?

People absolutely use this memes.

Okay.

Here's the thing, too.

That killed him.

Oh, my God.

Look at that.

Oh, man.

Look at that.

Oh, man.

Look at that.

Oh, man. That killed him.
oh my god as god is my witness he is broken in half that is memes back us up that is absolutely a meme it's a good pick meme said okay i mean do you like to call yeah i just don't know it so i'm not gonna pick some like actually that's not true but you've heard it yeah you've definitely heard it in a meme format but it's what was the match for the hell in the cell undertaker versus mankind um i'm gonna go back to a more historical iconic one that doesn't necessarily mean a lot to me, but is under the iconic. Well, no, this means a lot to you.
What? Giants win? Oh. I'm not going to say it because there's still one more pick, but I refuse to take.
There was one that I refuse to take. All right.
That's your team. What? I was going to say Giants win the pennant.
Oh, I thought you were going to say the other thing. I know.
I know what you think I was going to say. I said Giants win the pennant.
Okay. Good pick.
A historic, you don't need to know what that is, but you say Giants win the pennant and people know what you're talking about. Shot heard around the world.
Yeah, 1951. Not taking any chances.
Locked in without too big of a lead in second, but he'll be running like the wind of Thompson hits one. Back to throws.
There's a long time. I tell it me, I believe.

The Giants won the pellet.

The Giants won the pellet.

The Giants won the pellet.

The Giants won the pellet.

Bobby Thompson hits into the right neck.

The Giants won the pellet.

There's something about that old-timey, like, block.

It sounds like Chaps doing an FDR accent.

It's awesome. It's awesome.
Good good pick i like to pick classic last pick 1951 yeah so uh when we we were gonna do this one earlier this week so memes gave a recommendation that i can't ignore. I want to add some comedy to this.

So Kevin Harlan announcing a streaker.

Oh.

The man is drunk.

And there he goes.

Let's go in the secondary.

Hey, somebody has run out on the field.

Some goofball in a hat and a red shirt.

Now he takes off the shirt.

He's running down the middle by the 50.

He's at the 30. He's bare chested and banging his chest.
Now he runs the opposite way. He runs at the 50.
He runs at the 40. The guy is drunk, but there he goes.
The 20. They're chasing him.
They're not going to get him. Waving his arms.
Bare-chested. Somebody stop that man.
Here comes the blue coat. Oh, they got him.
Here comes the blue coat. Oh, and they tackle him at the 40-yard line.
All right. So my only issue with it is.
That was the most exciting thing to happen tonight. I mean, it's the same category as Tosiano.
That was a great call. All right.
I'm ready for the last 11-31 now, Kevin. Let's go.
Look at. There might be funnier.
We had Kevin Harlan, the LeBron James call. With no regard for human life.
So there's a couple funny ones that we'll throw out there that you can play. We were thinking about doing Bartolo has done it.
Yeah. All-time call.
What a moment. That might just be one of the best sports moments.
I am shocked that Havlicek stole the ball and didn't get picked. Hank put it in there.
I'm sure he did. The one that I was going to say, I wouldn't say is touch them all, Joe.
Oh. Colon looking for his first hit of the year.
He drives one. Deep left field.
That goes Upton. Back near the wall.
It's out of here. Bartolo has done it.
The impossible happened So great The impossible has happened The team vacates the dugout As Bartolo takes the long trot His first career home run And then the other ones we were thinking. One of the best parts about that call was right before the pitch.

He goes, Bartolo looking for his first hit of the season.

Yeah.

The best.

The other.

This one's a classic that we were thinking highly considering doing.

Roger Clemens is in the box.

Susan Waldman.

Maybe the funniest call of all time when she's crying on air.

He's in Georgia's box.

Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen in my life roger clemens

is back yeah that top one roger clemens is in george's box and roger clemens is coming back oh my good goodness gracious of all the dramatic things Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen, Roger Clemens standing right in George Steinbrenner's box announcing he is back. Roger Clemens is a New York Yankee.
That's so good. We also had friend of the show, Joe Buck, a disgusting actorandy moss i thought that was gonna get picked for sure

it's tough too because you see this on a graphic and it doesn't really paint the picture oh i think everyone knows it though yeah no i'm saying in general in general the vikings are not inside field goal range from lordan anderson moss Randy Morris is in for a touchdown.

Oh, Al Harris playing off. Bit up on the route.
And Randy Moss, without even really being able to run, as he shoots the moon to the fans here in Green Bay. That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss.
And it's unfortunate that we had that on our air live let's get back to the play Randy lost I don't even know what he did now he did social media and everything a couple other classics that we missed send it in Jerome Bill Raftery I thought this I thought this one would get picked Lundquist, In Your Life. Yeah, Tiger.
Tiger Woods chipping for Masters. There's a really good one.
All these have mostly been from the side of either just pure excitement or from the winning team. But for a losing one, the Plano East High School Football Championship in Texas, I forget they were winning by like 28 points with a couple minutes left, and they end up choking away the game at the end.
And then after the comeback happens, then the team that was up comes back and beats the team that just came back. The announcers from the team that ended up losing just goes, God bless those kids.
I am sick. I want to throw up.
It was a good one. The best.
Yeah, we almost picked

that one. That one probably wouldn't look good on the graphic.

I think the best Mike Breen bang is Ray Allen.

Oh, we also

were thinking about doing, no disrespect,

but I'd knock it out of the park. Yeah.

Hank also said,

Michael, you stuck it.

Oh, after the shot

against the Cavs. Yeah, yeah.

I also wanted to say the Villanova National Championship. That's not a bad one that was yeah where it's like villanova i also was looking i thought i thought in my head that bobby knight call was better the the chair on the floor yeah but it wasn't yeah i think it's just the moment not the call the uh the long home run by john carlo Stanton that ended up just being an out.
Can we actually listen to that? That was a funny one to go back. Yes, that one is very, very funny.
Stanton's at 273, 35 homers and 97 RBI. And Ploiecki, who always now catches.
They're not saying that, well, I want Ploiecki to catch me. but the numbers with Evaldi and Ploiecki are much better than Evaldi and Vasquez.
That's why Ploiecki's... Oh, no, this isn't it.
This ends up being a single. There was another one where it was caught.
Oh, there were two different ones? There goes deep left. It is high.
It is far. It is gone.
Out of the ballpark? A Stantonian home run.

This is it.

There's a multiple.

Now, what did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

Yeah, that's good.

A Stantonian home run.

Top of the wall.

I thought it went out.

Aaron Boone is looking.

Are they going to look at this?

Yeah, then they tried to cover it up when it wasn't even close of the monster seat all right let's see i thought it hit off the top and came back yeah there's another one from a home game uh it is gone but caught yeah sterling all right good mount rush for though yeah you feel good about that i apologize to the youtube viewers right now because you're just gonna not we're not showing them yeah actually you're just gonna can can we play one more it's a short one can you just search for that's kind of gay college football it's a very funny call it's on espn that looks like a pass that needs to be caught. Yeah, you can't use your shoulder to catch a football.
You've got to get your hands out there every night. And I'm out there with my kids working on catching the football.
They want to use their body. It's just a natural instinct as a human being.
But you've got to learn to be able to put the ball in your hands. hands are what makes it possible your shoulder pads are hard and stiff your hands are are tender and they can move and caress the ball that's that's kind of that's kind of gay but now i would never pick one of my calls but if i were the ending the ending of the Arizona ball is pretty serious.
Yes, yes. But again, I'm not picking that.
I'm not picking that. I'm not picking that.
I'm not picking that. I'm not picking that by accident.
No, it's all good. Yeah.
All right. Good Mount Rushmore.
Good Mount Rushmore. That was just a solid Mount Rushmore.
Just good vibes. I feel good about it.
Yeah. Well, I feel great about our picks.
Yeah, I feel great about our picks. Really good.
I feel real good about my picks. We're on mathematically safe zone.
Oh, so you guys won this one? No. Well, I think we will.
Okay. Congrats.
What's our magic number? That's what I want to know. That's what we got to figure out.
What's our magic number so that we don't have to do the punishment? Yeah. Well, you're only up three points and there's 21 points left.
No, I know. Yeah, but we still want to know.
We still got to know what the magic number is. No, Jake, we said we want to know what the magic number is.
Yeah, we're not saying we've hit it. We're saying what is our magic number? I don't know.
Right. So please figure that out.
Okay. Figure out what our – we got to start talking magic numbers.
I feel like it's too tight for any magic numbers to be pulled up. You still want to know.
You can have a magic number in day one of baseball. Yeah.
Your magic number day one of baseball is 161 okay right if you win if you win the first game you're 161 yeah is your magic number think it's like yeah it's a weird formula i don't think it's that weird it's wins combined with last place losses but if you know but if you win every game though jake yeah that's your magic number yeah then That's your magic number. Yeah.
Okay, so your magic number would be seven. Seven more points? Seven more wins.
Seven more wins. Seven more wins.
So 14? 14. Is our magic number? Probably.
Well, no, it's lower than that. Yeah, it's two.
It's how many points? Two lower than that? There's 21 left. So 15 is our magic number.
And if we win this one, it'd be 13. Yeah.
Okay. If.
Big if. Big if.
All right, let's do our last ad, and then we'll do FireFest and send everyone along the way for the weekend. Yeah.
Before we get to FireFest, it's brought to you by our good friends over at Paramount+. Paramount+.
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I thought it was a typo because it's such a good deal, Max. 50% off.
I wasn't reading the... I thought you were actually asking if that was part of the...
Do you think that's a typo? Because 50% is a lot off. That sounds like a ton.
It might be a ton. We might have to review this later.
Yeah, that was a little sneak behind the curtain. That's what we do for cuts.
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It's been weird starting off. I've been going last for five, four years.
Yeah. Hank's on vacation.
Yeah. So a little follow-up to a few weeks ago.
I'm moving on Monday. Let's go.
Okay, Jake, let's start. No longer LARPing is a disabled person.
It's exciting, but it's also, it sucks because I'm going to be spending the week actually moving in. Now, were there any things about your apartment, your American Disabilities Act approved apartment that you're going to miss? No.
Now, Jake, you said it sucks because you'll be moving in. Would you say it sucks to not be able to use your legs? Because that would suck more.
Yeah. So, a little perspective for you.
We're opening up that spot for someone who needs it more than me okay just so guilty over the last month living out of boxes yeah so you had really tough yeah yeah so actually thank you jake thank you for doing that for living out of boxes yeah and then giving your spot up yeah it's very you're a hero i couldn't imagine doing it another day yeah but now someone who needs it will get it and i'm going to be moving again very good very good uh pft uh my fire fest of the week is that blake my dog bit my penis what he bit my penis tackled your penis like vernon davis got tackled by his penis he bit my penis uh he's a little bit bitey right now so he kind of puts his teeth on everything i had his rope toy i was holding his rope toy he leaned in for it to try to grab it i pulled it back he missed low he bit me on my penis he bit me directly on my penis and now he's got a taste for penis so no penis is safe around him he's probably just gonna try to just fly at everyone's dick now he's's dick now. He's got a sex problem.
He's got a sex problem. Blake's got a sex problem.
But yeah, that was it was very painful. Did not break the skin, fortunately.
So I'm okay. Wait, so your dog gave you head? I got head.
With teeth. Yeah.
Yeah. I got a really bad.
Your dog sucked you off. I got a really bad blow job for my dog.
But he bit me right on my penis. And then and then yesterday he had his in too by mistake that was that rocks it's rock it does rock it rocks he didn't swallow it but he chewed it he put it in his lip actually yeah so i just went in it's a three milligram got it out he didn't even puke or anything um he didn't complain about about trying dip for the first time unlike somebody else that's sitting in this room with us um so yeah blake kind of blake uh is at one point like super masculine and then at another point like very feminine yeah so he loves giving head and loves in yeah um all right my my fire fest let's see mount rushmore um i so i i have two one is uh there was a guy with a big belly walking down my street the other day.
And my daughter was like, oh, look, that's dad. My son actually corrected her and was like, that's not dad.
But yeah, that hurts a lot. So that put it in perspective that what they see, that's bad.
So diet's going well, though. Lost about 10 pounds.
All right. And then I also almost pooped my pants.
Almost pooped. I didn't tell you guys the full story.
I told you guys that I almost, I was, it was an emergency that I pulled my pants down and did the spin move and just barely dunked it and almost rimmed it out. The full story is I didn't just barely get into the toilet.
I pooped on the floor a little bit. Just a little bit.
Yeah, it was bad. It was really, really bad.
I don't really know what to say other than it was really bad. Well, these bathrooms here suck anyways.
It was. I blame the toilet.
toilet I bet you would have made it it was at home but it was the thrill of victory agony of defeat moment because I thought I had made it and then I was sitting on the toilet and then I looked down on the floor and I was like wait a second I'm like uh oh how'd that poop get there you're gonna be seeing like a phantom poop there every time you go to that bathroom it was bad that's where it was it was bad i just i didn't put my pants but almost worse pooped on the on the ground yeah yeah max do you have one um sure i have i've had a call for like six weeks now i can't get i can't get rid of it i think i just have it forever yeah and that's that doesn't that's not a thing anymore and long long covid yeah yeah the other thing everyone treat max and give him remedies for long covid all right thank you um and the last one is it's a small problem which is weird because he's gotten vaccinated seven times yeah that's true but maxinated i bought a new uh like bed frame and it's like a cheap one that doesn't have like a headboard or anything it's just like it gets your bed off the floor and it doesn't have like slats and i move around in my sleep so like my box spring slides off of the bed like midway through my my sleep when you say you move around a lot in your sleep do you mean like in your bed or to like the next bedroom next door that you move no i was gonna say why don say, why don't you just sleep in your girlfriend's bed, roommates' bed? I live in Chicago now. Oh, okay.
But I wouldn't put it past you to hop on a flight while sleepwalking. Stand up in her bed again.
Max moves around a lot. He fondles feet.
Yeah. Feet guy.
That's also not true. We saw a picture.
Yeah. Wait.
So Max, wait. Hold on.
So your bed, you get in your bed at night, you sleep, and then you wake up, and it's just completely off. It's not off.
It's like halfway off. This also might be a lose weight.
You're a violent sleeper, it sounds like. Is that a – I think it's a lose weight.
If you're rolling in bed, moves the mattress, that's a lot of force. But what if it – I think it's just like a violence.

Yeah, I think it's a violent thing.

I think that you're a violent roller.

Well, probably with all the news that's been going on for your favorite teams,

you're probably – you're bottling it all up and it gets out in your sleep.

Maybe?

I've never thought of – I didn't think about this as a weight thing.

It could be.

I think it is.

It could be a weight thing.

I think it always goes like me pooping on the floor is a weight thing. Yeah.
My kids pointing to fat people and being like, look, there's daddy. That's a weight thing it could be i think it could be i think it always goes like the me pooping on the floor is a weight thing yeah my kids pointing to fat people and being like look there's daddy that's a weight thing there's a lot of weight things okay treadmill almost exploding every time i go for five miles an hour treadmills are there's once you once you realize you've also signed me up for this 5k that's a real fire fest that oh yeah future max is running the chicago 5k so is memes are we all doing, I have to wait.
I'm running the 5k. You don't have to PFT college football show is that weekend.
So I'm not gonna be able to attend but Max is running Hank is running memes running Jake is running White Sox Dave is running. I'm gonna give it should I be running if you want to I'm not gonna make you I've can take my spot if you want PFT.
That might be the weekend where I do my marathon. Max gets $5,000 if he runs under 33 minutes.
I hate that you're saying that because I'm not going to be able to run under 30. I'm not going to be able to do that.
And I can't do that. Why not? Not with that attitude.
I'm telling you right now. That's a very slow.
You kind of don't want to do that because you're going to get a check for five thousand dollars at a charity and then you're going to be like no i'm keeping it like i don't even want to say that i would give it to them because i'm not going to be able to finish it so i can't give it to this and also that i'm not going to also you hate dogs this actually happened though because when we were doing i was doing a video for still blue and i just randomly said max is going to it and he gets 5k if he does it under 33 minutes and he said well i'm just gonna donate it to pause and i said well i'll just match so now i actually would oh 10k so but he's not it's not gonna happen so it's zero and i feel bad for the dog it's very sad that you've resigned the fact that you can't run an 11 minute mile i canminute mile. Can you? What is it, like three? 3.1.
3.1. Yeah, I could run an 11-minute mile.
Dude, 11-minute mile is not that fast. No, but three.
1.1. Like, the distance is going to – I'm going to end up – I'm going to get an injury.
Like, my back is going to come out. That would be so funny.
Like, it's going to – I'm not a distance runner. That's not that far and it's 11 minutes long.
What's the best way to train for this? Run. I practice running.
I also refuse to do that. Max, what about this? What if I ran it the day before with a timed and then you just got to beat me? I'm not going to beat you.
You've run – I've never run three miles in my life. In the most.
I haven't run three miles in 15 years.

Wrong.

You did it.

You did it.

Oh, yeah.

I did do it at the Super Bowl.

Yeah.

On the treadmill.

Yeah.

True.

But treadmill is different.

I am a sneaky beast.

I forgot I'm a sneaky beast.

Correct.

Built different.

I've tried to run three miles and then I got like a mile.

This was like at my most athletic too.

At my most athletic.

Max, what if I ran it with you and you only have to beat me by 10 minutes? If you can beat me by 10 minutes, I'll kick in 5K. Wait.
He has to beat you by 10 minutes? I'll spot him 10 minutes. No, no, no.
Five minutes. I'll spot you 10 minutes.
I don't think I can do it. You don't think you can finish a 5K? The best part about all this, we're going to find out.
Yeah, we're going to find out. We're going to find out.
Yeah, okay, the line is set. Memes, you don't have to run it if you can make sure that you can film Max the whole time.
Well, that has to be running it. No, he could get on a bike.
Actually, no, Pifty, you should ride the front seat of a tandem bike,

and memes will ride the back.

Backwards.

They probably don't allow bikes in a 5K on the race course.

I think they will.

If we just go last.

Yeah, no, but I'm going to run it, and Max, that's the goal.

If you can cover a 10-minute spread against me, 5,000 charity. The only way it would work is if i could give myself breaks in those 10 minutes well you can you can yeah clock still goes but you can't still go no but we start at the same time yeah okay so you don't know what my finish time is going to be got it got it 25 minute mile 5k i can do that if you get when is it uh september 9th the day before nfl so like three weeks yeah i'm also going on vacation next week.
I'm bulking. It's the day before NFL Sunday.
So like three weeks?

Yeah.

I'm also going on vacation next week.

I'm bulking.

Or not next week.

Yeah, no, PFT, don't tie.

Just make him run the 33.

No, no, no.

I said it.

I said it.

I'll stand by it.

Okay.

I just need a course map so I can scout out where the water stations are.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

It's going to be fun, though.

It's going to be very fun.

Jake, that was you doing a bit? No. No.
Okay. Always be going to be fun, though.
It's going to be very fun. Jake, that was you doing a bit?

No.

No.

Okay.

Always be ready.

Yeah.

Okay.

Numbers.

Memes, you ever gotten this?

18.

69.

20.

Memes has one.

Eight.

Memes is going to get this one.

88.

Pulls 88.

88.

88 degrees.

Love you guys. The Eiffel Tower gets taller

in the summer I'll be coming for you, lover. I'll be coming for you, lover.

I'll be coming for you, lover.

I'll be coming for you, lover.

I'll be coming for you, lover.

I'll be coming for you, lover.

It's okay.

Stay after me.

Please be better, take a save.

Tell me.

Stay after me.

Please be better, take a save.

Tell me.

Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Thank you.
Don't need me Shade me Don't need me Don't need me Don't Take me on me Bye-bye. Take my feet.
Take my feet.

Take my feet.

Take my feet.