Jon Rahm, Tyrrell Hatton, Mt Rushmore Of Ways To Waste Money, James Harden Is A Problem & Hard Knocks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. In 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist.
Maybe there's a part of your story that you've been wanting to revise. Think about therapy as your editorial partner.
It helps you write new chapters and creates the meaningful story that you deserve to live. I've personally used therapy in the past as a tool to help me get through some times of loss and to also help me prioritize what was important in my life and help me focus on those and create a future that I was very happy in and very confident in.
Therapy has been a great tool for me. I personally recommend it.
If you're thinking about starting therapy, I couldn't recommend it more. Give it a try.

BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient,

serving over 5 million people worldwide.

Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists

with a wide range of specialties.

You can easily switch therapists at any time for no extra cost.

Write your own story with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash PMT today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash PMT.
On today's part in my take, we have a twofer for the people. Jon Rahm, Tyrell Hatton from the PGA.
We were out there today watching the guys get ready for the next round of the FedEx playoffs at Olympia Field. So we had a great time talking to both of them.
We also are going to talk Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks Episode 2.
We finally got to watch Meme's famous Jets game against the Panthers preseason week one. We are going to do Mount Rushmore of ways to waste money.
We have a long discussion, a nice discussion with our friend Max about James Harden and what's going on in Philadelphia. And a bonus, Jake Marsh enters a Twitter space that will shock you.
So a great show for everyone out there. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your

first order when you sign up for email and whether whatever in Ariat work year. Okay, let's go.
Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff Work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame All on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's pardon of my take.

It's part of my take.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Wednesday, August 16th.

And I have a very important question after watching Hard Knocks episode two.

Hit me. I am a diehard Aaron Rodgers fan this year.
I think he looks great. He's gotten hotter as he's aged.
But my question is, and this is no disrespect to Aaron Rodgers because, again, I am a diehard Aaron Rodgers fan this year. I walked away from this Hard Knocks asking myself a simple question who's the coach of the Jets that's a very good question is it Robert Salah or is it Aaron Rodgers and Rodgers coaching waiting or Nathaniel Hackett or Nathaniel Hackett I have a question about Aaron Rodgers okay is he an all-time like top five hugger yeah he's just he's hugging everybody he's going in for the hug two hands he gives you the squeeze on the back of your spine like he's giving the heimlich from reverse he loves he loves he's a lover he loves to love and he loves grass yeah and he loves grass and he also that was a very funny moment when he went up to his i'm talking about the field yeah yeah okay both but yeah when he went up to his uh former coach it was like you're're fat as shit.
I was like, yeah, he is fat as shit.

Yeah, that seemed like he was busting his balls, but also it's tough to say that to a guy that is fat. Yeah, he's very fat.
I feel like, hey, you fat fuck. And then everyone's like, yeah, he's been eating Pop-Tarts.
Yeah. It was like, alarm.
But I really am wondering, and I want to hear from memes because he is our Jets fan. but what struck me was the moment during practice when the offensive line wasn't playing up to snuff for the jets and robert salah turned to aaron rogers and he said we got to get them right for you buddy and i said huh that's weird tail wagging the dog that feels like aaron rogers is coaching this team not not robert salah yeah uh there's definitely definitely the sense that Aaron Rodgers runs the offense.
And then he takes a lot of pride. Zach Wilson gets on the field, and it's like Aaron is coaching the offense at that point.
What he says goes, there's some issues with pass protection. I've actually made a smart football take on my part.
Everyone's talking about Brees Hall, Dalvin Cook joining the Jets, right? They right they're dealing with offensive line issues pass protection issues they're two great players that are joining at running back right now they don't have a lot of time to work on pass protection in the preseason at all maybe that might be their biggest issue also I think the fact that their defensive line is so good that they get their ass kicked every the offensive line gets their ass kicked every day by a really good defensive line, that's a little bit emasculating.

Yeah, it is.

You lose your confidence.

It also –

So the Jets should make their defensive line worse is what I'm saying

so that their offensive line can get better.

Speaking of emasculating, Robert Salah saying to the team,

we were a 7-10 team last year with an awesome defense and a shit offense

with Zach Wilson sitting in the room.

Yeah.

He's just got to keep eating shit.

So he said that halfway through the film,

but at the start of the meeting, he goes,

we still have the stink of a bad offensive team on us

from last year.

Not pulling any punches.

Well, Zach Wilson's still playing quarterback

in the preseason.

Zach Wilson looking great with a big arm sleeve,

the do-rag still.

You should be limited to the amount of swag that you can wear as a backup quarterback. Agreed.
I guess he was starting in that game technically, but it's the preseason. You should have to earn the arm sleeve on the non-throwing head.
Agreed. The other big story from this hard knocks is Quinton Williams being awesome.
Shout out Optimus Prime. Shout out Optimus Prime.
Shout out his dad. Shout out his agent for getting him paid.
We need to get Quinton Williams on this show. Yeah, he seems awesome.
He seems like a part of my take guest. He seems like an awesome dude.
And his teeth look great. Remember, he got drafted with braces.
Yep. Always tough, but he is completely glowed up.
And he also is incredible at his position and really fun to watch. Had 12 sacks in a joint practice.
That's a record. Yep.
In our record book. Sack.
Update the log. It's great.
You could just titty bump some guy and just be like, sack. Oh, yeah.
You get like two steps of penetration. You're like, that's a sack.
Sack. And then I want to pull up.
Yeah. It's like playing two-hand touch as a kid.
Yeah, I got him. I got him.
I got him. I swear I got him.
You weren't allowed to blitz. The hard docs effect is in full swing on me for Will McDonald.
Defense rookie of the year. Oh, the whole team.
He might be my mystery team. I do have a mystery future team.
They could eventually be my mystery future team. They're a very good defense for sure.
I could have done without the Will McDonald like 10 minute long piercing celebration where they just had him getting just different pieces of metal stabbed through various orifices on his face yeah i had some people are into like the pimple popper thing um that i i can't watch any of that stuff yeah i can't watch that no that stuff i love bad injuries i love puke videos but piercing's not for me no no a guy on on hbo sports getting just metal rammed into his face. Was I watching OJ Made in America?

Memes, what are your thoughts on this?

Because you made us watch the preseason game that you asked everyone about.

You also had a moment where we were kind of busting your balls.

And you just like very matter of factly, like a little kid getting teased.

You're like, you guys can't ruin this for me.

You see that dime from Zach Wilson? You guys can't ruin this for me. No, I've been reading a lot of old Jets rosters from the past couple years, and it's just been very bad.
Like two years ago, it was Rashad Perriman, Denzel Mims, and Jeff Smith as the receivers, and then they didn't even list tight ends. Oh, man.
So I'm just excited about this year. I mean, they're loaded at the skill positions.
If you look at the wide receivers, awesome. Mikko Hardman, yeah.
Mikko Hardman, yeah, who had a great look during the rookie show. Oh, yeah.
The rookie show is also very funny because it was like all the African-American rookies that went out, and they did a step-team celebration, and then the white guys go out there, and they're like, look at this app. Yeah.
Everyone download this app. Yeah, they tried to play something they saw, a Twitch streamer play.
Yeah, it was pretty bad. But, yeah, Memes, I think you should be excited.
But we will ruin your fun. Offensive line looks like it's an issue.
Yeah, and we will ruin your fun. Just so you're clear, that's what this show does.
Anyone who has any fun gets it ruined like you guys are gonna ruin my phone with justin fields i know that yeah it's a fact he right so you're gonna meet you're gonna post so many slanderous memes about justin fields i can in turn ruin your fun about the jets no i'm pretty i'm pretty justin fields positive online okay that's i i'll have to do a we'll have to look through that. Yeah.
After you went through Darren Revell's tweets. Memes, I also have a question for you about Aaron Rodgers and the grass situation where he just rubs grass on his hands all the time, throws it up in the air, gets a sense for the wind, feels like he's one with the earth when he does it.
What playing surface do they have at MetLife? That'd be turf. That's turf.
new turf though this year oh i did see they got rid of the injury turf i read that they got new turf it's like double layered field turf yeah it was uh kyle shanahan complained about everybody tearing their acl on it and they finally switched it out last season well in between um aaron rogers does get has gotten significantly better looking that one that one video of him grabbing the turf when he was a clean shaven like you know year five ugly dude he had a fatter face but now he looks good yeah yeah i don't understand how these guys get skinnier he probably had some serious acid flashbacks during the the oz the mentalist thing at the start. Yeah.
That guy is a witch. Oz, he came into our studio.
We did, we did a PMTV with him last year. That guy is actually, he has to be a witch.
There's no other explanation for it. He's just like telling people, think of a number.
And then he just writes down the number of the thinking of what the fuck is going on. He should actually be a football coach.
It was a great moment though moment though when the guy was like what if you had guessed giraffe after oz the mentalist made uh a goldfish appear in aaron roger's hands what if it was giraffe i could actually see jim ursay hiring oz as like a defensive consultant quality control to just tell his coaches like hey here's what the other team's gonna run yeah uh the only other note i had from this is i so i'm starting to have the the hard knocks effects with the jets there i'm starting to buy in even more i do think aaron rogers gonna have a great year there's something about and maybe this is um the what's the guy in in dallas dan what's the guy's name defensive coordinator dan quinn dan quinn maybe it's the dan quinn effect but i love love love a defensive coordinator with a backwards hat yeah that guy there's something it does it for me that guy rocks he just gets so excited about the defensive line you want great great beard too yeah you want a defensive coordinator to have a little little shit to him little little grit to him little you know like i could kick your ass you know outside of denny's right now and he had that with the backwards hat yeah i'm i am gradually getting more sold on the jets just through watching this documentary that's produced basically hand in hand with the new york jets correct so they might not be showing us everything but what we've seen it's like okay the defense is going to be a problem i do i do like that in every hard knocks episode they they're like well in unbiased journalism let's show you two minutes where the where the practice is not going well and the coach is like we're not ready to play football yet boys yeah and then go back to like every player being the best player in the world i love how robert salat watches the silent film i don't know what the difference is between watching the silent film and then watching the film with the audio on it. But he says like, you know, I love to watch the silent film.
He likes to like just feel the energy. Yeah.
Instead of hear it. He seems like a guy that you that would be a lot of fun to play for.
Yes. Yes.
We didn't get to see Dalvin Cook. Newest New York jet was was news.
What two days ago. It feels like he's been a Jet for the last three weeks.
I know. I know.
They were dancing around it. This is a direct result of Aaron Rodgers being a selfless teammate.
Yeah, he's got more money. Yeah, more money to hand around.
More money to hand around, yeah. And then we also had Ezekiel Elliott go to the Patriots, so congrats to Hank, who doesn't have to change Ezekiel Elliott Cowboys jersey.

He can just maybe slap a logo on top of it.

Yeah.

But yeah, huge win for Hank.

What was his contract?

It feels like if you're an old running back or an older running back,

you can still get by on one two-year deals.

But I guess playoff Lenny's still out there.

Kareem Hunt's still out there. Yeah.
Wait, Kareem Hunt's still out there? He's still out there. He went to – I think he went to the Saints, and then the Colts said, no, you got to come visit us.
We're not going to let you leave. Who's the other running back in Cleveland now? The Chubb and – I don't know.
They got to have a two, right? It's not Chunt. No, I know.
They don't have the Chunt combo. Browns running backs.
Jake, reminder alert. Jerome Ford.
Okay. That – yeah, that sucks.
We wanted it. Jerome Ford.
Jake, October – or no. How many days in September? 30? September 30th.
Reminder. Bet Ezekiel Elliott.
I know. Okay.
Bet Ezekiel Elliott I know Bet Ezekiel Elliott Two touchdowns On that Sunday's game Why is that? It's the Patriots vs. Cowboys You know Bill Belichick will do that for him Yeah he'll definitely He absolutely will try to stick it to him Yeah Fun fact Do you know what Kareem Hunt's middle name is? What? His middle name is AJ Oh I've I've never heard of somebody having two initials as their middle name.
That kind of rocks. Kareem AJ Hunt.
That's like Homer Simpson, Homer J Simpson. Homer J is just J.
Yeah. J-A-Y.
Yeah. Okay.
Anything else before we have a nice discussion with Max about Philadelphia sports? I think that's it. We have a packed show coming here, so we're going to kick it back to ourselves.

But we have Terrell Hatton, John Rahm, Max having a meltdown,

Jake going into a weird Twitter space,

Mount Rushmore with ways to waste money, and guys on chicks.

Oh, boy.

Let's do it.

Shout out Optimus Prime.

When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item,

no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, before we get to Hot Seat, Cool Throne, we have to have a discussion.
If you remember, on Sunday night, we brought up, PFT and I brought up the fact that James Harden something feels off Max said well there's no better alternative and did his Max thing where he like basically pouted and and stomped around and said no I'm not mad I'm not triggered James Harden is fine he's fine this is not how that went then we woke up Monday morning and Jamesames harden said this daryl maury is a liar and i will never be part of an organization that he's a part of let me repeat that daryl maury is a liar and i will never be a part of an organization that he's a part of to a bunch of uh chinese kids at his basketball camp who were like what why are we why are we listening question, Big Cat. He said that he'll never be a part of an organization that Daryl Morey is a part of, right? Wait, hold on, hold on.
I will never be a part of an organization that he's a part of. Yes, that's correct.
Okay, so quick follow-up. What professional basketball organization is Daryl Morey a part of? All right, let me Google that.
Because I forget. Daryl Morey.
It's football season. I'm not up to speed on my basketball facts.
Daryl Morey is an American basketball executive who is president of basketball operations of the Philadelphia 76ers. Oh, the fluffy 76ers.
Yeah, the Philadelphia 76ers. So that's Max's favorite team.
That is also James Harden's current employer. Current team.
Okay, so it sounds like he's saying that he'll never be a part of the Philadelphia 76ers as long as long as daryl maury now hey also hold on also a quick follow-up to that um don't pay on the desk this daryl maury guy has he ever said anything about the business relationship between the nba and china anything like china i think he did i think he did do that a few years ago and that's exactly where James Harden is while he's making this statement about him being a liar. Interesting.
It sounds to me like odds of James Harden returning to the 76ers might be lower than we thought on Sunday. Okay, but PFT.
Now, this is bad. This is admittedly very bad.
James Harden just opted into a new contract or his last year, the contract.

What, like two months ago?

Yeah.

You know, they were going to give it a chance.

They basically almost beat the Celtics.

This was a championship team ready to take the next step to ultra championship.

That's what we call the Easter Conference Finals.

So everything, James Harden doing this is bad.

But at least, at least Joel Embiid is not also upset and deleted stuff from his Instagram and Twitter saying that he no longer lives in Philadelphia. Joel Embiid is the glue that holds this together.
So you can lose James Harden. Listen, James Harden has traveled around like a leaf through the wind.
Joel Embiid is the guy that you need to have there. And as long as they have Joel Embiid MVP, right? So Joel Embiid has not – let me just – hold on.
Look up his Twitter account. Okay, hold on.
Because I remember he used to say like on his bio that he was processing. Processing.
Because he loved the process. And he said Philadelphia processing.
Okay. I'm looking up Joel Embiid, his Twitter account.
Oh, wait, what? Are you sure you got the right one uh yeah two 2.1 million followers and it's no longer saying processing no it says uh Yawande I think that might be where he's from uh so yes that is that is from Cameroon um I mean if this is true and the Sixers he moved if they move from Philadelphia he doesn doesn't live there anymore. If they lose both Embiid and Harden in the same offseason, that's bad.
That's about as down as you can get as a franchise. Wait, breaking moves.
I know that we're doing this to Max right now, but I just—because I went on Twitter. Breaking moves.
Can someone give me a— I have to break this news. I went on Twitter and it says you know on the right tab listen live in spaces yeah um jason whitlock is hosting a space that says does it matter if obama is gay okay so let's discuss i i saw that i saw that earlier you're gonna have to wait max you're gonna have to wait and we were about to start the show and i i considered putting a pause on the start of the show just so I could get involved in this Twitter space.
Does it matter if Obama is gay? Yes, I think it does matter. I think this throws the whole Obama gay situation into chaos.
Does it matter if he's gay? I don't care. I don't think think i care i i care no i do not care i care i care deeply how how what why do you care because that would i mean that means that we had a combo president that's true the first ever combo president yeah well no kennedy was catholic and his brains blew out yeah head the first headless cath yeah.
Yeah, so okay. Actually, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. We're talking about sports.
Back to Joel Embiid. What if he was gay with Trump? That would be funny.
They should lock both of them up in the same cell for forever and then they just have no choice but to start fucking. Yeah, only 700 people in this space is shocking.
Does it matter if Obama is gay? What a question. That's a thought starter, what we call a thought starter.
Okay, but Embiid. Embiid.
Wait, what if Michelle Obama is a man? Does that count as? Interesting. This is above my pay grade.
Yeah. Because then he wouldn't have cheated, although maybe he was beforehand.

In the words of Silvio Berlusconi, everybody is a little bit gay.

You know what?

It just so happens that my gay part is a lesbian.

Yeah.

You know what?

Let's solve this once and for all.

Let's just listen to a random two seconds of this.

Okay? Max, you join. Max, you join.
Jake, you join

max you join

jake you join

jake you join

jake you join

jake you know what

leave the room for a second

while we deal with max

no no no max

jake can you leave the room

and listen while you're out

and then come back

and tell us what was said

just like 10 seconds

yeah yeah

no no no

listen till we're done with max

or you can just text

and then come back

with the cliff notes

you can probably just also text Billy and see, because he's probably already written a report about it. He's moderating.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah, Jake, take good notes. Okay, so wait.
Just a recap. Okay, so James Harden went to China, said, I hate the 10th question.
We don't have to do the whole thing. This is the longest intro into a segment that's ever been had ever on this show.
You're not going to get mad, though. I'm not mad.
I'm not mad. I'm just stating it back.
What's happening right now? The Sixers are in shambles. I don't care about James Harden in the slightest.
Wait, you just said that you wanted him and there's no better alternative options. He's better than Norman Powell

who... Well, I don't know if that's true anymore

because he doesn't want to play. It doesn't

matter. It doesn't matter.
I think James

Hart is better at basketball than any other option

that's out there right now, but he's not a better

player to have on your team than our guys. Correct.

He's the worst player to have on your team. Yeah, right.
He's

literally breaking up the team one

by one because... Oh no, this

championship roster. He's very good at it.
I mean, with the MVP, he's breaking up the MVP. He's breaking up the team one by one because oh no this championship roster he's very good at it i mean with the mvp he's breaking up the mvp okay he's breaking up the mvp yeah yeah yeah he's forced he's it's yeah i don't know never play basketball this is like this is like the last dance except it's a team that never won anything anything never even got to Finals.
I get it. But now it is just forcing.

Like, how hard is it to get a player like Joel Embiid on your team?

Very hard.

You know what it's like.

Wait, a guy who's never gone to the Eastern Conference Finals?

Pretty easy.

Pretty easy, actually.

There's actually, I would say 90% of, no, maybe 80% of NBA players have never been to

the Eastern Conference Finals.

Any team in the entire league would die to have Joel Embiid.

I don't know anymore.

Yes, it would.

I don't know anymore.

I don't know anymore.

You're such a...

The guy's switching his Twitter.

He's being a fucking teenager.

He's being a teenage girl.

This is what every single NBA player does.

Okay, but you have two of them on your team.

I think that it's a high possibility that Joel Embiid knows who Max is and did this just to fuck. No.
Yeah. I would want Joel Embiid on my team.
Fair. So? That's all I'm saying is that James Harden.
Is breaking him up. Yes.
That is a bad thing. That is not a good thing.

Is James Harden Thanos?

James, he might be.

He's the Thanos of bad teams? All he does is just go and just spread bad vibes to every single person he's at.

And I don't know whether I want to blame Daryl Morey or James Harden because...

I'm going to blame James Harden for this.

I'm going to blame both.

I think they're both doing exactly what they do.

Daryl Morey is a very good executive who always gets – I mean, you saw it with the James Harden deal initially, the Ben Simmons trade. He always waits to get the most value for these guys, so he's doing what Daryl Morey does, and then James Harden is being a petulant bitch what he does.
They're both being themselves. What's James Harden's move here? Because he really reinvented the wheel wheel he broke brand new ground in the NBA where he decided that he was going to get traded by getting too fat yeah because guys if you sign a contract you don't have that much leverage I mean in the in the NBA you have more but you still sign a contract they don't have to trade you they could just kind of ignore your trade request right if you get super fat and then break up a team from the inside out that's really the only leverage you have and james harden is very good at that i don't know if he's going to get fat again it sounds like what his strategy is is like let's go to china and really fuck with daryl morey's brain yeah and then hope that he gets so mad at me that he can't stand the idea of writing a check to me anymore well it's the craziest james harden has put himself in in the funniest predicament ever because he wants a long-term deal but he has to probably play to get that what what so how does he get how does he stay fat maybe he gets fat and is good at basketball that'd be very funny but what what team in their right mind would want james harden on them like think about wait what what i don't know he's been He's Bulls, and I hate him for it.
He's like, oh, just to Martin Rosen for James Harden, fuck off. In the words of Christopher Maxalente, fuck off.
You'll take Zach Levine. That would be like a three-team.
Well, now that's out the window because there's just zero leverage. I mean, James Harden is a snake.
The reason that he won't get a long-term deal is because you're just seeing everything he does. Why would you want a guy who will commit to you for like a third of the time that he's said to be there and then just go and ruin the team from the inside out? Yeah, but what about game one? Game one rocked.
That was sick. Game one was sick.
But he also signed the deal. He did not need to sign that deal.
He opted in. He chose to take that, and then he's just upset that Daryl Morey just didn't give him away for nothing.
Kind of a funny move on James Harden's part to sign a deal. He probably didn't have a better deal out there because the other problem is James Harden has basically negotiated himself into a corner where the reason why he signed that deal was if he went and signed a new deal with someone else.
The Clippers can't sign him for what he is getting paid. You know what I mean? If he didn't opt in, the Clippers couldn't give him a four-year, $150 million deal.
They don't have the space. So he had to opt in and then hope that he would get traded.
And now that he hasn't been traded, he has to opt out while hoping someone else opts in. And nobody's opting in on James Harden right now.
Too many ops. Too many ops.
I mean, you have to take your hat off to James Harden and respect him for being the best to ever do it at what he does. Yes.
He doesn't burn bridges. He goes like Philadelphia overpass 76ers on bridges.
That's what James Harden is so good at, just destroying front offices and destroying the entire culture of a basketball team, and then moving on. Probably the greatest player.
It's like him and Kyrie have been pretty good at it. Now, how much has this bummed you out? The I didn't care at all.
Like I saw the Harden video and I was like, all right, here you go again. He's going to play this whole song and dance.
He's going to do whatever. And then we're just going to do the same thing as Maury is just going to keep him and he's going to sit on the bench and not play anything.
It would be very. I hope he gets.
But then he got the other players on the team. Who else?

P.J. Tucker.

Oh, no.

I didn't know that.

He broke P.J. Tucker as well?

P.J. Tucker is whatever.

I don't give a fuck about P.J. Tucker.

He's a dog.

You need dogs.

He's a dog.

He is getting his guys around him to go against Daryl Morey.

So now it's either – now you have to choose sides. Now you have to choose.
So which side are you choosing? I don't know. I don't know.
All I know is that the only person I care about right now is Tyrese Maxey, and he has not gone up in support of James Harden. What about the MVP? I care about him too.
No, you said he's broken up. Yeah, the only player you care about is Tyrese Maxey.
Is it as broken up like you can get an arm of him, a leg of him, like you're picking up the pieces of him? I would love if Joel Embiid did not do that. If he...
Yeah, because he's also so calculated with everything that he does on social media that you can't just look at it and be like, oh, this means nothing. Although he did something about the union, and he was like, go Philly, go Union.
So he still likes the soccer team. No, but it's a Philly union.
Yeah, he still likes your soccer team is what I'm saying. So he's very active on social media.
I wouldn't say he's super calculated. I think sometimes he just trolls first, and then he's like, oh, shit.
Like I was just joking around. In this case, it feels real.
It feels too real. Max, did you hear about one of the small things that led to the breakup between Maury and Harden? No.
Oh, yeah. Read this article.
Oh, no. It was pizza something? Yeah.
Pizza? The little stuff matters when running a team. Oh, no oh no the seeds of mistrust between harden and maury had been planted with the smallest forgotten promises according to harden quote from harden every friday that was going to be pizza day oh we had pizza friday for the first month this season but then that was it it was supposed to be every week all year long you come come in.
Is this a butt crack? You come in on a Friday.

You get a slice.

Not some Fridays.

Every Friday.

Consistency builds championships.

That was the deal we had, but that was a lie.

It's frustrating because I'm locked in thinking about one thing and one thing only.

Winning basketball games.

Harden told the assembled class of 14-year-olds in attendance for the launch of Harden's Chinese

Wine Company.

But it would also be nice to be treated like a human. Wait, so you, whatever.
Where was this article written? That was the Athletic Premium Plus as posted on my Twitter account. Wow.
Oh. Oh, fuck.
Oh, this was you thing. Yeah.
I saw this from somebody else. How did you think that was real? Yeah.
Wait, I saw real yeah wait i saw i said the first second when he said it you gotta you gotta subscribe to the athletic premium plus i get all the articles you don't get i saw somebody else credit's not good enough like your credit's not good enough in sixers twitter like actually tweet that as like a real thing it's a real thing you just don't you didn't pass the background check to get admitted to that dude i don't know also also i just if that were real. Also, if that were real, I would side with James Harden.
If you do Pizza Friday, you have to do Pizza Friday. We were promised Bagel Mondays.
I believe in every little of us. We did Bagel Mondays.
Every Monday? I think it was. Oh.
Yeah. It's just people ate it.
Fuck, I'm such a fucking idiot. I legitimately read that and been like, Max, you're in shambles right now, buddy.
All right, Max, you know what? Let's pick up your spirits. Let's leave Jake out there for another minute.
I can't wait to hear his recap. I cannot wait for this.
I keep going back and forth on if it matters or not. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars.
One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's. Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's Protein Bar is made with Reese's Peanut Butter, and only one Hershey's Cookies and Cream Protein Bars is made with Hershey's Cookie Bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.
One Bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout one also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com uh let's bring jake back in jake is back jake has listened to the jason whitlock hosted. Does it matter if Obama is gay for the last 10 minutes?

Please let us know.

What,

where,

what should we think about?

Um,

so there were about five or six speakers,

uh,

okay.

During the span that I was outside.

I did not.

Okay.

Uh,

and five out of the six of them said it does matter.

Oh,

okay.

Here's some of the quotes i have written

down okay all right nice look at you jake um you actually i would like you to make sure that you're in every jason whitlock space put on notifications i want i want just one quote for me i just wanted well i can i can listen retroactively yeah yeah okay which i will do. Go ahead.
One speaker, the first one just said, it absolutely matters that he's gay. Oh, so that's not even a, they're just saying he's gay.
Yeah. Each speaker first, before they say anything else, they answer the question.
Oh. And then they give their thoughts.
I like that. That's a well-run space.
So it's like, hi, my name is. Yeah.
And I'm here for this reason. So you get their opinion off the bat.
Hi, my name is Dan. i'm here for this reason you get their opinion off

the bat hi my name is dan and it doesn't matter that he's got it um she said i don't really understand the context she said quote my sex life is wild and i don't care what you do in yours okay wait but she's saying it doesn't matter then but she said it did because yeah actually If you're if you're a Middle eastern terrorist if you're like an isis and obama drone striked you it's probably worse that you got drone striked by a gay guy that's true it's like when they dip the the bullets in pig blood yeah it's haram i don't know if i uh got this word for word but what i wrote down was having obama come out as gay is de-escalating to the black male role model figure. Okay.
No comment. Yeah, that one's deeper.
Okay, that's, yeah. Yeah, and then another person said it would potentially be an abomination to God.
Oh, okay. We're going with that.
Yes. So it just matters if anybody's gay.
I think the PMT... Right, it's not an Obama thing.
Yeah. I respect that, too.
Yeah. I think the AWL and the space crossover was very small, except some people got notifications that I was in this and took screenshots.
So. Nice.
Nice. I think that last speaker was Chris Broussard.
Yes. Yes.
He's like, Hey, I don't even know how I got in here. I don't even know who Obama is.
I don't like gay people.

I just don't.

Yeah, I disapprove of his gayness.

And they talked about like Jews and anti-Semitism.

Oh, so it was a crossover.

Yeah.

I don't think it went well, probably.

No, probably not.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, well, let's start with your hot seat, Cool Throne, Jake.

So many people are talking about screenshotting.

I'm going to have to retweet some of these.

Jake, what's going on oh man and then they're gonna listen tomorrow and they're gonna be like they're gonna find out am i starting us off yep okay do you should big cat should jake start us off yeah hank's not here yeah okay what hank's on vacation again? The same one. Yeah, he is.

Continue it.

My hot seat is Madden.

Okay.

The new Madden is out, and people are not happy.

The glitches are very evident, it seems. I don't know if you guys have seen some of these clips.

By the way, good reminder that Hank is on vacation.

Hank actually, I gave him all my Madden codes.

He said he was going to give them out this week on vacation so tweet hank on vacation and ask for the madden codes that's smart yeah remember when i interned we went outside msg yeah and we had people find us yeah at hen underscore ease yeah uh please make sure and here's the best part we're playing a little game with hank he has under strict orders to say that he doesn't have Madden codes. It's an NDA.
He does. He does.
So keep pressing him. DM him.
You have to, I think, tweet at him three times. Yeah.
And then he gets released. He's like red rum in the mirror.
Okay. Madden always has this, though, when it comes out.
Yeah, but the celebrations. Jalen Waddle's Waddle is not a waddle.
Well, then I'm out. I'm out on the game if it's not a respectable waddle.
Listen, Madden is in a tough position because they've had to invent a different football game, what, like 30 times? There's not a whole lot more that you can do with it. It's also just a perfect example of life with the internet where Madden released.
People are going to hate matter what release used to be a celebration day you stick around long enough and it just becomes a complaining day i'll bet the hit stick would have gotten roasted on twitter if twitter was around back in 2005 oh yeah oh yeah i would hated it now i do i haven't played madden in years and have no plans to pick it back up again but i i think that it's mostly like okay it's a race to find what we can complain about in the new Madden. Yes.
Yeah. And it's people playing deep into Madden to find it.
I feel like if you just play it regularly, you don't see it. All right.
Next. My cool throne is myself, the plug god.
We have a few things on tap this week. First, the Barstool store, 20% off sale.
This is a big one. This is a big one.
We're independent again. independent again yep 20 off sale uh you're listening today wednesday yep it's today uh most of the site there's a few exclusions but 20 off awesome unreal good deals great great merch great merch i don't like how you looked at me there jake what do you mean you like did like a you're talking my hands yeah i know but you were like almost like a i don't know what that was okay keep going okay we'll review the tape yeah um and then the second kind of a little bit patronizing did you feel that pft he was like and 20 off you little kitties go store.barswellsports.com while you look me in the eye i'll do it to him too okay all right and you'll feel the same way.
I don't want you to do that. Rough and Rowdy.
Buy R&R.com. See?

That's it.

And for the first time ever streaming live on YouTube yes huge Big Kai will be there Friday night yes so yeah tune in awesome plug God out plug God out oh my god we need to get you a necklace a plug necklace would it matter if Jake was gay I don't know let's fire up a space okay that's it matter if Jake was gay? I don't know. Let's fire up a space.
Okay. It doesn't matter if Jake was gay.
It's such a funny space. Okay, hot seat, cool throw, PFT.
My hot seat is what could have been. What might have been.
Oh. Because Kyle Shanahan last week, I believe it was last Friday, let us in on a little nugget about what the 49ers were planning to do if they had won that game against the Eagles and made the Super Bowl.
So the game, we all remember it. It sucked.
Brock Purdy got hurt. Josh Johnson got concussed immediately.
They didn't have a quarterback. They had had discussions about what they were going to do if Brock Purdy got injured because they were obviously without Jimmy G.
They were without Trey Lance. Kyle Shanahan's plan that he had in place if the 49ers had made the Super Bowl and Brock Purdy was injured, Phillip Rivers was going to start the Super Bowl on two weeks notice.
Yes. Having played zero games with the 49ers, having practiced with him zero times before that, he would have been the starting quarterback in a super bowl he probably would have won he would have won and i'm so fucking mad at kyle shanahan for saying this because i feel like i have retroactive blue balls do you know why he would have won philip rivers doesn't move fast enough to have the the graspy slippery be a problem that's very true he would have won that's very very true it would not have been an issue he's so slow it would not have been an issue it would have been the very best thing to ever happen to the nfl can you imagine that would have been one of the all-time like sports stories oh yeah like i'd say the sports story of a lifetime yeah we would have had to go to the super bowl and root for the niners and wear philip rivers niners jerseys yeah imagine how many babies he would have had after that.
So many. So many.
He still is. Yeah, he is.
Having many babies. I think he's literally just announced his wife's pregnant.
I think so. I think they're going for 11.
Is this 11th? They've got a full football team now? I think they have the whole team. I think they have the whole squad.
Shout out Phillip Rivers. Yeah.
All-time stick man. In July, he's expecting his 10th.
Wow. So it already happened.
That was a month ago. So Ben and Phillip Rivers week one touchdown.
Yeah. Got it.
Cool throne is getting disowned by your own children. Oh.
So if you've been paying attention to the news for the last couple days, there's been a rift in the storybook relationship between Michael Orr and the Tui family. No.
The family that quote unquote adopted him, you see it in the blind side.

Apparently, there was no adoption paperwork ever filed. It was a conservatorship.
And so that meant that they were making business decisions for Michael Orr. They didn't have any legal obligation to him as a parent guardian situation, but they're making business decisions.
And one of those business decisions allegedly was that they controlled most of the money and the back-end revenue from the success of the blindside movie once it came out and michael or allegedly did not get paid off from that um as opposed to the members of the tui family that did get paid out from it uh i don't know i i think we have we have to just wait for all the facts to come out i feel like this is one of the stories where we'll be we'll just wait for the next five years for all the facts to come out of it yeah but it sounds like to anybody with a working brain who watched the movie the blind side uh they probably wouldn't have brought michael orr into their family if he was a five foot five kid that was good at chess right um it probably had a little bit to do with the fact that he was one of the best football players in the country at the time and already highly recruited he picked his own school right uh no that's interesting because the two family is like the biggest boosters of old miss so it's just a coincidence though he could have gone wherever he wanted it's the the story seems really bad uh michael or like if if if it went down the way that he alleges it's very bad it's pretty much the shittiest people in the world um but yeah you're right it's gonna i think it's gonna go back and forth they have the tui family has alleged that it's a shakedown which i guess that's kind of what you do in these situations be like no shakedown yeah um i just know that michael or didn't like the movie and the way he was portrayed in the movie which should have been the first red flag to be like, hey, something's amiss. Oh, maybe the movie should have been about the family that saved him, but about the kid who pulled himself out of poverty and made it to the NFL and won a Super Bowl.
Yeah, how about the kid? Well, if you watch the movie, Michael Ord didn't know how to play football until he got onto a practice field one year in high school.

And Sandra Bullock had to walk out there, grab him by the face mask and teach him how to block.

Yeah.

No, he was already a great football player and a great athlete.

And he accomplished a lot on his own, which they didn't really.

They also made him seem like dumb as a rock.

Yeah.

They made him seem like an idiot in the movie. Yeah, that's the part he was very upset about, which I would be upset, too, if I were him.

And if you watch The Blind Side, now, I would actually like to re-watch it because it's very i'm sure it's unintentionally hilarious right now like going back and making uh tim mcgraw and sandra bullock like the heroes of this story right when it's a kid that worked his way out of having no home and an absentee mother to like ended up becoming a great, one of the best football players in the world.

That's a pretty good story.

So wait, you're saying Michael Lewis got this wrong?

I'm saying Michael Lewis may have embellished some of the facts

or woven it into a better story that he thought was more marketable

than the real story.

Next thing you're going to do is tell me that Billy Bean never won a World Series.

I'm not going to say that Billy Bean never won a a world series and that he uh had players like miguel tejada and tim hudson i actually like michael lewis is a storyteller i've read all his books no big deal i did read the blind side except the covid one that one was weird he went weird but liars poker is a great book blind side Moneyball Oh he did Moneyball Big Short Okay

Yeah

Read them all

Bang

There great book blindside money ball oh he did money ball big short okay yeah read them all bang uh there was crazy story though there's a quote from the twoies that they've always been up front about the details of his conservatorship which apparently was established to assist with mr orr's needs ranging from getting him health insurance and obtaining a driver's license to helping with college admissions i'm sure i'm sure it helped with admissions. I'm sure it was.
That feels like you could have just adopted him. You could have adopted him at that point.
Yeah, the conservatorship is weird. And so Orr alleges that he just found out that it wasn't an adoption but a conservatorship like four or five months ago.
Yeah. And so that's the reason for him filing this lawsuit.
Also, he did file the lawsuit on the day that his book came out, which is just to keep in mind that's a fact also the twoies are friends with ben mince they are yeah also there's a lot of blurry a lot of facts that we have to wait to come out on this going back and forth i think at the end of the day um you can pretty much say that yeah this has always kind of been uh the logical explanation of what happened like they didn't they didn't bring this kid into their home because he was homeless and they wanted to be great people. They brought him into their home because they're like, oh, shit, this guy's awesome at football and we're the biggest Ole Miss fans in the world.
So we might as well adopt him and then just funnel him down to Oxford. Yes, yes.
Yeah, we'll see where it ends up all right my hot seat um is us because should we say what we're thinking about for the the punishment this year we discussed it yeah should we just say it I think people get excited about it and also it gives us the bonus of saying of deciding a punishment without Hank here and then he has no say yeah uh so hot seat is us we've been spending a lot of time together we went out to the uh the the golf today so we had some downtime and we decided we're going to change some things up this year in the fall for the friday preview uh less picks but we're still going to do a competition and uh the loser of it we'll we'll absolutely say it when we get to week one like you know if there's any changes that Hank will obviously have. But the loser of it, we'll absolutely say it when we get to week one, if there's any changes that Hank will obviously have, but the loser of the competition this year is going to have to do an entire hour show in a Vegas theater by themselves.
A one-man show. A one-man show.
P.I.T. is only allowed to play one song on guitar for a certain amount of time, too, because play Freebird for 60 minutes.
But yeah, I've been thinking about it and I don't think memes Jake or Hank, I don't know what you guys would do. I think Jake could do it.
Jake's a bit of a showman. I would learn magic tricks.
Stand up. You would do stand up? Tell us a joke.
I would have to learn and prepare. I don't think you learn stand You have to write stand up.
Okay. We should make another situation.
You can't just go out there and be Carlos Mencia for an hour and just do other people. Correct.
Correct. Although I maybe I do like a tribute band to Mitch Hedberg.
Yeah. No evening with Mitch Hedberg.
I would bring out a ping pong table and just play it. Put one side up.
Okay. Just hit.
To yourself. That'd be a bit boring.
That's not a great one. It's the perfect punishment that you obviously, none of us have enough talent to do a one man show.
An hour is so long. But you also need to do something that people are going to buy tickets to this.
Yeah. Yeah.
But to be fair, like last year, we'll get a way to get everyone everyone involved that's what made last year's stream like you guys were commentating like we're all involved max should do a chip and deals routine oh that'd be good that'd be really good yeah i might just dress as fat elvis and see how many drugs i can do while sitting on a toilet yeah watch me do drugs until i die until i sit on the toilet if we did a show where we just consumed as many drugs as possible until we expired on stage i feel like people would buy tickets oh yeah oh yeah the stream numbers would be insane mr beast could never although youtube doesn't allow that um but yeah that will be that'll be great so hot seat us we'll we'll tweak it but i like the idea of just deciding a punishment with hank out not here, because you know he'll complain. You know he'll complain.
I watched, by the way, side note, Real Housewives of New York last night. I'm watching the new season.
It sucks. An entire episode was just based on them bitching at each other about not letting each other eat.
Is that not the entire series? But they literally were just Grit Week. It was just Hank Grit Week.
They were hangry. Dude, it was Hank would be a real housewife of New York.
Yeah. Like he fits in perfectly.
They're like, we worked out and then we didn't eat breakfast till 11 a.m. That was literally set.
And then my cool throne is me because I'm going to put a positive spin on life. And yes, our boss, Erica Nardini, had a profile in uh vanity fair where she said i am quote arguably one of the worst bettors of all time and he always loses the parlay talking about the can't lose parlay she said arguably that's true uh i am going to use this as a positive no one expects anything from me so uh if i am just if i have a pulse this yearambling Then I'm exceeding expectations You could set the record for biggest improvement Most improved gambler We should do an award at the end of football season Most improved gambler That won't hurt though Have you figured out what to do about Wander Franco? I've already You guys won't let me Sir, a second Eighth grader has been reported You guys wouldn't let me.
There's a, sir, a second, a second, a second, a second minor grader has been reported. You guys wouldn't let me drop.
We, you can't drop. No, no, no, no, no, no.
We, no, we didn't. So we go up to a vote.
We got a mouse. So I've done, I've done everything that I could do.
And I've also done a great job because I actually acted before the Rays acted. Okay.
And MLB. How about this? I will allow you to drop wonder franco and pick up a new player on your team if you also drop all the home runs that he got because how many he hit those home runs big cat he hit those home runs while he was in not one but two alleged relationships i'll decide i won't do you feel comfortable isn't it convenient that you're in last place and you're throwing this out there? How convenient is that? How convenient is that? Nine home runs.
Oh. That would put you.
Oh, you'd still be 14 above PFT. Take the nine off.
I don't care. Wow.
All right. And I'm not even picking up a new player yet.
So're at 66 and pft's at yeah no i don't and and i wanted on the record that pft wanted me to keep the pedophile but now this makes it a gray area if you end up losing no no i don't want to win with a pedophile alleged i didn't want you to keep him on your team i wanted you to get rid of me you didn't want me to drop him well i the pedophile legend you have you have him on your pedophile list a pedophile legend uh okay fine you know what i'll do it i'll do i'll drop him i'll drop all the home runs nine home runs and i'll pick up cory seeker okay do i still get an injured drop no so this is but this is a pedophile drop do is that separate hurt or pedophile new segment separate c segment. Is that separate? Corey Seager, I think, is available, right? I believe so.
Okay, great. All right.
So also, Jake. My team is great now.
Jake, create another list. Just, I know you've got the list of all the different positions.
Put a PL on there. Everybody gets one player on the pedophile list.
Okay. But you have to drop the home runs.
You have to drop the home runs. You have to drop all the home runs.
Or you could keep the home runs if you're comfortable with keeping fingers hit by a pedophile.

Yeah, I mean, I've basically cut him.

The Rays haven't cut him.

So Corey Seager's home run start tonight, August 15th?

That's the prisoner's dilemma of the pedophile list.

Did Corey Seager hit a home run tonight?

Do I get it if he hit one before I look?

You should give one. No, starting now.
No, you should give me one. No, because he wasn't on your team until just now.
What team is he on? Rangers. Oh, I looked up the Mariners.
Yeah, he hit one tonight. Oh, shit.
Did he? Yeah. No, it doesn't count.
I should get that. You probably have.
I should get that. I just dropped nine.
Home run alerts set up on Twitter. No, I don't.
I should get that. No, you didn't have them on your team.
All right, fine. I don't want a pedophile on my team of legend.
Okay, let's go to the interviews. We have a great interview with Jon Rahm and Tyrell Hatton back-to-back, and then we'll do our Mount Rushmore.
As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept.

But you know what isn't hard to accept?

Discover.

Believe it or not, Discover is accepted at 99% of places

that take credit cards nationwide.

You heard that right, 99%.

So make a good call for your wallet and get Discover.

Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, reigning Masters champion, one of the best golfers in the world.
It is Jon Rahm. And I have the most important question to start this interview.
Can you break the news on your master's dinner? Oh, that's all we care about. You know, there's two questions I get very often.
Okay. Number one is what I was thinking on 18 when my T-ball hit the branch.
Yeah. Right.
Number two is a master's dinner. Okay.
I can't, honestly, I haven't given it as much thought as you would think. Like the first few weeks's all i thought about for some reason and after that i haven't so i know the dessert okay what is it i don't even know if it's a name in english to be honest okay you can just say it we'll look it up it's so in spanish will be milojas which translates two thousand leaves okay there's a couple different versions and then not i guess it's like a cocktail reception.
So early on, if anybody knows from Spain, we're really known for the Spanish ham. Okay.
So we'll have that. Everything in between, I have no idea.
That's good though. I mean, Moniberico is awesome.
You got the bookends. So no, that's the thing.
Like, I don't know. I don't know.
I have to ask a bunch of questions, right? Like I have an idea on a wine that's personal to me and it's really good wine as well but i don't know if it needs to be part of the wine cellar of agasta national or not right uh i don't know what in between what goes or how much we can have or not have i know we pay for it well i pay for it so can you bring in your own chef can you bring in jose andres so he can tell the kitchen teach him a little bit what to do but i think their cooks have to It's a great problem to have. What you should do is you should, in true Spanish tradition, you should start the dinner at like midnight.
Get everybody super tired. True Spanish tradition, the dinner will start, I was going to say nine, but that would be a little early for a lot of people.
Yeah. I mean, it's probably one of the only countries where you start dinner one day and you finish the next day.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's a great problem to have, though. Masters champion.
I have to figure out a different. I don't know if a couple of guys that attended dinner would make it that late.
Dinner slash breakfast. I'm usually asleep at 930, man.
I wouldn't be making it that late. I did have a question about the Masters, the first hole, the double bogey.
I think I tweeted. I was like, thanks for coming out, John.
You did? See ya. Oh, thanks.
Having that happen, though that happen though were you like i mean i guess it's a testament to your mental strength as a golfer does that phase you at all are you like no it's a four-day tournament i'll be fine listen if you're going to make a double bogey right might as well be the the first hole of the tournament when you have 71 holes to make it up or like scot did the year before, do it on the last hole when you already know you've won and you can afford to do it, where it's technically inconsequential, right? Right. So, you know, at that point, the funny thing is I hit all those putts the way I wanted.
It was just a lack of judgment on the speed and misread on Aguamem. It's too many putts.
But, like, out of those four that I hit, the fourth fourth one went in the two short ones were just misreads i hit them good i can't really say anything else and that's what i told my caddy and i'm going to the next tee and i've always said i've told a few people this in a few more podcasts if you're standing on the seventh fairway at augusta national on the front nine right that even par and you've hit the fairway i think you're in a really good spot and that's what i had in mind and funny enough I was even standing on that fairway made birdie in seven then made the great eagle on eight and kind of the run when you know took off after that well there's also a part of your master's championship that you don't know that you should probably thank us our producer Hank who's not here today so we all bet on Brooks and on Saturday during the rain delay he was like should we schedule Brooks to come on on Sunday night? So he pretty much jinxed him. So that opened it up for you.
Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. I appreciate it.
It had nothing to do with your incredible play. Well, the rain.
It was the jinx. How much of it was the jinx and how much of it was just God raining and causing a delay? On what? So Brooks didn't have to play through the rain.
So he got to post two scores before the bad weather. Yeah.
My wave, I had to play Friday nine holes and a lot of wind and then finish the round out on the rain the next day. So...
Hardest Masters champion ever? No, I don't think so. There's been a couple of situations like that.
I think Tiger told me very similar fashion on 2005. They played 54 holes on the weekend.
Jeez. Yeah, that's a lot of golf.
That's way too much golf. Yeah, I know.
So there's been other weeks. Like the year Sergio won, it was a really windy Masters as well.
There have been some tough ones. Obviously, this one in recent memory because of how cold it was Saturday.
I mean, it was freezing in the morning. Yeah.
I think you can make the claim to the greatest golf shot of all time at Augusta. Maybe in the history of golf.
I can? Yeah. The hole-in-one that you had where you skipped across the water.
Yeah. That's the best golf shot that'll ever be hit.
It's a lot of luck, but thank you. No, but I mean- It's all luck.
So every time I hit a ball into the water now, I think,, I might John Rahm it. I might just keep skipping and go in the hole.
You're never out of it. But that was truly like one of the most incredible feats of, I don't know, it was like physics.
I don't know how you did it. Is the one and only time I've hit the green doing that? Actually, I think it's the only time I've gotten it out of the water doing that and actually goes in.
Yeah, what's the strategy? No spectators. Yeah, how do you hit that when you're stepping up to it? What are you trying to accomplish? Just hit it low? Is there any spin? Yeah.
You kind of have to pick what you think is going to be best and how the ball's going to react. Actually, you can curve it in the water because the spin of the ball will make it bounce one way or the other.
But they've actually changed where we hit it from. It used to be a more uniform slope where you could hit it harder and get a bigger bounce.
And now it's a bit flatter and then steeper slope. So you can't quite get the same angle.
So they changed it since then because we've done it so many times. They had to renew that area of the course.
They ROM proofed it. No, no, no.
They just had to do it because we were getting dangerously close to at one point somebody ended up in the pond. Yeah.
have you might want to see that happen we don't

want to do that yeah i would want to see that i have a very dumb question um do you ever surprise yourself with your strength do you ever hit a shot and you're like man i'm strong because you are strong no no there's a lot of people that hit it way further than i do but you're strong well i'm bigger than the average golfer right but i just see sometimes you hit shots hit shots. I'm like, damn, he's strong.
No. Okay.
All right. I told you it was a dumb question.
No, because you play with Rory, who I'm taller and heavier than. And he hits it way harder than I do.
So it's kind of like in golf, you can't really do that. There's a lot of players out there that are not – It's like the lanky pitchers, right?

You get the string bean that just gets on the mound and throws 103,

and you're like, this makes no sense.

Yeah, that's true.

It's the same thing.

Like Tim Lincecum or, yeah, short Lincecum.

It's the same exact feeling.

So you can't really –

This game humbles you way too quick,

so you can't get up there and just hitting a hard shot.

Okay, well, maybe this weekend think about it once when you hit one.

Just be like, man, I'm strong. If you can hit the ball – If I'm thinking about that, it's because the round is not going good and I need some positivity.
If you could hit the ball as far as Rory, how good would you be at golf? The old Michael Block. Oh.
I would be better than you. I'd be better than Rory if I could hit as far as Rory.
Oh, man. That comment did not age well for him.
No, that was tough. Yeah.
He was living the hype after. he was living he was feeling himself a little bit yeah that's okay he had a nice little moment listen he probably I think he averages about 10 years more than me so yeah it'll be great in some holes to have a shorter club end but yeah you know this game there's so many variables it doesn't mean you're going to be better right speaking of variables like you're known for your compact short backswing does that actually is that a benefit for you and i know that you you had to learn how to hit the ball that way because you were born with uh was it a club foot so you had to learn how to hit the ball that way the fact that your backswing is so short there are fewer things that can go wrong in it right in theory yeah my wife uh my my wife is a tennis player she always compared it to end erotic serve right it was also like short and quick and yeah i mean the the shorter the length of the swing technically the less time for things to go wrong uh but it's just by my biomechanics right i mean just what i had on my right foot growing up uh it's just kind of how i had to swing it there's no i can't really i could do a full turn but because that ankle can't doesn't have the mobility I lose all stability and I can't hit it yeah when I was younger I actually had a very long swing trying to you know hit it like John Daly like strong and way overdone and I couldn't hit it anywhere and he took one one smart enough swing coach who to say hey you know you kind of just hit your growth spur you're big maybe to put it in play and figure out if you can actually be good at golf.
And ever since I've had that three quarter fielding swing. So one of the craziest parts about golf is how it's like ever evolving, how you, your swing coach, you know, even tiger, when he reinvented his swing, have you had to reinvent your swing or do you think that will ever happen? I don't see a way in which right now I can make a drastic change.
The biggest change will be that, right? Like maybe trying to get me to go to parallel and perfect plane, but I don't think I would become a better ball striker that way. Right.
So maybe it would be other parts of the game where I could try to change that you wouldn't talk about as much because it's not as noticeable. But I believe more in like putting in the work every day instead of like drastically changing one day yeah yeah there's many ways to win golf tournaments and if you're comfortable you can do a lot of you know you you might be able to accomplish certain things like if i do a drastic change right now tiger had the the ability to go through those changes and maybe not have a good year but then after that one year go off right which i don't think anybody's ever really been able to do besides him yeah yeah yeah i mean that's got to be so it's got to be frustrating if you're at the top of your game it's not quite good enough and then you have to reinvent your entire swing from the ground up it feels like taking a massive step backwards and you have to i have confidence that's going to work out i do think a couple of his changes were due to injuries.
Yeah. I think I'm not, you know, I'm just making this up, but he could be, you know, he had a lot of surgeries, some knee issues.
So he had to adapt his swing to, to what his body could do. Right.
And even what he did again after his back fusion, when he won the masters, I mean, he was hitting a completely different to what he could do when he was younger and was still able to win the masters. So, so during that masters, you're competing against Tiger Woods.
Is there a part of you that's rooting for Tiger Woods to win the masters? Because it's going to be so awesome. Once I'm done and out of contention.
Yeah. Up until then.
No, I mean, you want to win. I played with him the first two days, that tournament.
And, uh, it was quite impressive to see a bit of the, not really the old tiger, but a bit of the, the glimpse of the magic. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, but no, I mean, it's great to be a part of it and see the tiger effect on the golf course but no you know i mean i'm not really rooting for anybody else yeah are you are you super i know you are super competitive are you competitive against other people are you competitive more against yourself like trying to hit like play the best john rom round that john rom can Both. It's a bit of both.
You can't really affect, like what I do shouldn't be affecting you on Thursday through Saturday really. Like you're really competing against yourself.
It's maybe down the stretch on a Sunday where your actions can take into effect what other people end up doing depending on how everybody's playing. So it's a of both yeah what's the what's the one piece of your game that you work on more than people realize like the one that maybe it's not a struggle for you but the one that you have to put in the extra effort that people you know watching on thursday through sunday are like oh john rom's just the perfect golfer because that's how we.
No, I think, ooh, it's tough to say because I spend a lot of time on everything. Right.
I think because of the cards I dealt growing up, I was dealt physically growing up. I spend more time warming up than before I show up to the range than most people think.
Like some people can get off the plane, go to the tee, and hit it. I wasn't blessed with that.
Like my right ankle just can't move and it would take me a while to warm up.

Like I could play, but not at a high level. So my routine before I get to the practice team might be a little bit longer than the average.
But that's the things that you don't see on the golf course for anybody really. For golf, I'm pretty even throughout.
like uh i think people I spend more time putting than I think people realize uh that's again that's something you don't really see yeah you don't see what we're doing at home right right it's just it's crazy it's hard it's hard to tell it's just hard to say right like when you think like the comment that always kills me in in sports is oh he's bad at this is clearly not working on it that it's probably the opposite you're probably spending a lot of time trying to fix something right you're overworking on that no not over but like a small little change right like like the numbers might not always reflect an improvement right how about that if that makes any sense no that makes perfect right so we have all these guys that that you know are full-on stats and all this guy last year was 150 faith and this year's 145 he needs to keep working on this well maybe he is working on it you just have no idea right right and then four years later bam that same player's 20th doing something like you don't know yeah yeah take some time for it to pay off uh you went to arizona state how awesome was that just how fun is i tell you right now. It was great, but probably not on the tone you're implying.
No? Arizona State, it seems like a really fun school to go to. I did not.
What tone am I implying? I didn't turn 21 until basically I had like six months left. Not even.
So it was a lot of fun, but I didn't get to experience what a lot of people think of ASU. Yeah.
Right? And I'm not going to lie. I got deathly scared when I came early on.
Like, I mean, Spain, when it comes to minors drinking, then like, obviously you have rules, but it's not. Like, the worst thing that could happen was they would just call your parents and maybe take you home.
Right. Yeah.
That's about it. Right.
Over here, if you're just holding a beer down the street, even if you're over 21, it can be an issue. You're on scholarship.
MICs, blah, blah, blah. i'm like jesus christ yeah you can can you have fun in this country like that like that was so yeah the first few years i was very scared of yeah of doing anything and then you kind of learn a little bit and and and open up right but i also had the language barrier early on uh trying to you know get used to a different culture different let's say's say, unwritten rules about what you can or cannot say in conversation.
I mean, it's a lot to get used to and be able to enjoy. Yeah.
All right. So a couple last quick questions.
I know you got to run. For Shinnecock, for the US Open, I saw you driving a Porsche, maybe a Porsche, really small car.
How'd you fit in that no it was no it was a c it was a c-class i believe okay okay well you drove right by and i was like i do fit i'm in a 6.3 i can i can fit in most cars yeah okay that was a dumb question i think once you go past once you get to the six fives is when you start getting maybe i can't fit in i still have that i still have that have that. But no, Mercedes, luckily, the sports cars have quite a bit of room.

Yes.

Germans on average are tall.

Yes.

All right.

What about Lucas Glover last week, Memphis Heat, in your game prep,

are you thinking maybe about what color pants you're going to wear?

Things could get dicey.

So the only thing, I think the only thing you could do to not see is black pants.

Yeah.

There's no way in hell you're wearing black pants yeah no i mean you i i remember i think it was my saturday round uh i was i they weren't white pants but they were like cream color and you're not thinking about see-through stuff but it was on like the sixth hole where i looked down i had black underwear and i'm like okay you can clearly see the outline but it wasn't then you see other people on the group i'm not paying attention i look at somebody at one point party and i'm like well he's got the same issue i think he had similar pants yes yes the cbs was also following him very close but i mean it's it's what was it 94 with 90 plus percent humidity i mean it's just kind of how of how it goes. Yeah, it was insane.
I wish we had like, well, yeah. You could maybe change it to nine.
Yeah. Two minutes later, it's going to be soaked already.
Yeah, that's true. You know, in all the sports, their clothing is made for sweat.
Like when you're playing football, that's made for that. Basketball, other things, right? Baseball as well.
Ours, they're not always, a lot of the brands are not made for that type of condition. I'm saying you've got the live merger going on.
Maybe you share, you cross-pollinate a little bit, you adopt some of their rules. Maybe you're allowed to wear shorts now.
You still have sweat on those shorts. That's true.
That wouldn't change. I think it's more, maybe we need to talk to somebody to make a little bit more athletic shorts.
I mean, it wasn't only Lucas. I think it was a it was a lot oh it was everyone it was everyone um all right i have one last question hey it's ria from tricks in the office it's officially mini skort season and abercrombie has the ones to go out in their scarlet mini is a classic it's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans and i'm excited to style their new sienna skort it's little more flirty, and it's perfect for date night.
Make plans to go out in Abercrombie, shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. Can you rate my golf swing real quick? And then I think PFT has one last question too.
Well, Max Holm is the swing rater, right? Yeah, but you just tell me what you think watching it. I've been working on it a lot.
How long have you been playing? My whole life. Your whole life? No, that's a lie.
Yeah, I was going to say. But I've been working on it a lot.
You tell me what you think. You're not serious.
What? I already know. We didn't even hit it.
Oh, there you go. Yeah, I piped it.
Are you serious? That's power. You got the slow-mo.
Piped. You hear me say piped? Wait, this is serious? Yeah, that's my swing.
What do you think? That sit-up is not your real setup. Have you ever thought about locking your legs? That sit-up is not your real setup.
Yeah, it is. No, it's not.
Yeah, it is. No, it's not.
Big Cat was born without ACLs. I shot a 72 at Shinnecock once.
I think you actually needed that score to make the cut. I did because I did not know I would have definitely needed it.
I mean, listen, besides the knee lock, which I still don't believe is true, everything else is good. Yeah.
Thank you. I mean, you know, it's just, yeah, I mean, that ball, you hit it good.
It goes straight high. Yeah, I mean, you're probably leaving about 40 yards over there in the tank because you're refusing to use your legs for some reason.
But besides that, no, it's on plane. It doesn't look bad at all.
Okay, thank you. That's John Rob approved.
Did you have one last question? Yeah, yeah. I want to talk about real quick the famous fortune cookie.
The fortune cookie that you opened in, what, 2013? Oh, yeah. This came up.
I don't even remember it. Yeah, so I was wondering about it.
about so you tweeted out in 2013 i'm going to win the masters and someday i guess yeah you had a fortune cookie that said like your wildest wishes will come true um i was going to ask you if you thought about that fortune cookie and about that tweet and thinking like you're walking out the 18th at augusta thinking to yourself i bet you i'm going so viral right now for my 2013 i can't stress enough how far gone from my memory that was yeah like i when they showed it to me i did not believe it was me who posted that that's incredible right now like i did have if you follow more tweets i think there was about a two-week stretch that i walked by pan express after class every single day right so like for two weeks i think every day for lunch i had pan express and had a fortune cookie i don't think that's the only one i posted because i do remember um i don't know he used to work for asia i don't know if you still does his name is doc tamarau he did a lot of social media for asu and he responded like something like that like you know maybe you have a bit of an obsession with pan express you should lay off it's good i know i guess one of my tweets was that right i mean i mean, I won't buy it every day. I just figure it out and get some orange chicken for lunch.
Well, to bookend the interview, what about Panda Express at the master's dinner? Wouldn't that be perfect? Listen, if I were to go the fast food route, Panda Express would not make the cut. Okay.

Okay.

And then I would probably be very high up.

Okay.

All right.

If I had to go that route,

I had to go that route.

Well,

John,

I know JJ wouldn't approve of that,

but we've had the discussion.

He posted a screenshot,

by the way,

of your group chat.

He broke the code.

You're not supposed to do that.

That's Matt.

That's not a good friend.

Yeah.

What do you do?

He posted a screenshot of your group chat that you had with,

with him.

Which one?

Zach Ertz.

When he was saying like, you know, like go out and play well and stuff like that for the masters oh what zach said before the round yeah but you can't you can't post a screenshot oh well i made it public i think at that point you're okay i think it was it was like just because we had discussed that i was gonna make it public if i won which is funny enough that happened uh i think it was justified was justified. You got to ask Zach that.
Just keep your eye on JJ. He's a bit of a snake.
I think Zach is too much of a nice guy to maybe say anything to him. Yeah.
If it was reversed, I think JJ might have said something. Yes.
Absolutely. Well, John, thank you so much.
It's been awesome, man. No, pleasure.
Good luck this weekend and we'd love to have you back on anytime our paths cross. Perfect thank you man no bowl is known for their best in class award-winning footwear with options across training and lifestyle no bowl has options for everyone exclusively for barstool listeners no bowl is offering 30 off your order visit www.nobowlproject.com slash barstool for 30% off your order.
Visit www.nobowlproject.com slash barstool for 30% off your entire order. That's www.nobullproject.com backslash barstool for 30% off.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Tyrell Hatton.
I said that to myself about a thousand times walking into the club today. Did I screw it up? No, you actually said it right.
Okay, Tyrell Hatton, pro golfer here at the playoffs in Olympia Fields. Great to have you on.
Excited. We actually, can I backstory we are we're not the huge the biggest golf guys right we we like watching all the majors we like playing our producer Hank who's a diehard golf fan all he does is golf when we were deciding who we're going to interview he specifically said we had to have you on the show so that's how you came recommended from our producer okay so i'm under pressure there no no i'm just saying you i i think he wanted you on the show because you're is it fair to say you can be you can be the bad boy golf uh no i mean well i get frustrated and i'll swear and throw clubs but i mean like anybody else yeah it doesn't make you a bad person that's why you're i feel like you're the most relatable golfer maybe not the bad boy the most relatable golfer out there potentially yeah yeah i'm always honest i mean yeah i did read that you have a lamborghini that's painted like like the joker is that true uh well yeah that was a while ago though um yeah that was probably might have been like five years ago now though but um yeah i had it wrapped purple um originally had it wrapped in a matte black so i kind of went from batman to to the joker but purple's my favorite color so oh i like that yeah i like that you don't that's the isn't that the royal color i think that's the royal family's color i think that's the yeah purple the color of royalty that's because like when they bump their like that.
Yeah. I like that.
You don't, that's the, isn't that the royal color? I think that's the royal family's color. I think that's the.
Yeah, purple color. I think that's because like when they bump their like leg into a coffee table, they all have hemophilia and they start bleeding.
That's the purple. That's where it comes from.
No, I'm sorry. That's a true story.
I don't know if you, I don't know if they taught you that in school. No, I didn't learn much at school to be honest.
So you are, you are, think, the most relatable golfer out there. You've dubbed yourself Headcase Hatton.
And you said, I think the quote I read was, you've judged your mental game as low as a 3 out of 10. What is the, like, what's been the arc there? Have you gotten better, you think, with your mental game? game or is it still i'm just going to show my emotion um i mean i wouldn't say i've probably i wouldn't say i've improved much in that sense um yeah i mean i always get frustrated that's just the person i am um and yeah i'll i'll show that i think the important thing is for it to not really affect the next shot.
And for sure, sometimes that does happen. But more often than not, I'll still be frustrated, but I've got a clear head and I know what I'm trying to do.
Yeah. So, so was it ever a situation where you were like, I have to stop, you know, showing my emotion and then you realize, wait, why am I trying to be someone I'm not like, I should I should be who I am on the course.
That's probably the best approach. Yeah, I think there's, there was a period where I tried to rein in, but that wasn't a very successful period at reining it in or sort of playing decent golf.
So that was a long time ago. Yeah, I just embrace who I am, I guess.
Yeah, you got to be you. And I mean, a lot of people out there when they play golf, they hit a bad shot and they do a lot of the same things that you do.
Actually, my trick is if I play like two shots poorly in a row, I like well i need to have another beer and then i'll just i'll just drink a beer and then you reach that golden ratio where you're like you know just buzz but not drunk enough where it affects your game then you really start shooting well uh i mean drinking and playing golf for me is is brutal we had a we had a lad's trip a month and a half ago and i mean the standard of golf was horrific but um i mean we had a good time yeah that was the main thing but um yeah the goal for me was was pretty sad at some of the shots that were hit yeah i i did see one moment where you got frustrated and this is the part that i warned you about like we might have to fight after this because we respect golf courses we root for the course in tournaments and at augusta you you gave the middle finger to the course you flipped off the course because you were so upset actually that might be almost a sign of respect it's like a worthy competitor to the course it's like inside you are two wolves you got matsuyama's caddy that bows to the course. I respect and you that flips it off because you're like, okay,

you got me on this one course.

Yeah.

I'm definitely not the first one.

And I don't think I'll be the last person to do that.

Yeah, that was probably not my finest moment doing something like that.

Who cares?

Listen, you should show that. Also, didn't Augusta try to fight you didn't it or injure you it started it yeah it started my wrist my wrist problem yeah i mean that's that's on the course the course through the first punch you were self-defense yeah right against the course would you like to apologize to the course? Don't.
No. Don't.

No.

Okay.

I'm not going there.

I love it because it really is, when you're watching golf,

there's obviously an air of the rules, and I get it.

But I think golf has grown in such popularity,

and a lot of people like to watch it,

and they like to see the emotions.

And even when you guys play in Arizona,

and there's the hole where fans are going crazy, that like that's sport that's fun so i like that stuff i like when you show emotion yeah i mean that that that weekend in phoenix is is carnage yeah yeah um but it's fun 16th hole is is mega yeah it is mega it's so mega definition mega what's your best shot have you have you ever gotten it very close to the uh because i would imagine talk walk me through it in the 16th hole for people don't know in the uh it's not the waste management anymore what is it now wm uh open in phoenix if you don't go for the hole you'll get booed do you does that get in your head when you step up there and you're like i know what i should do but i also don't want to get booed um well i mean i i teed myself up for a roast in the first year i played it because i think it was on the saturday they they pushed the t forward so it was like 110 yards so it was really short and uh yeah decided to get the crowd to make loads of noise and then i hit a sandwich to like 40 foot and just everyone booed yeah and i'm fully deserved horrific golf shot horrible i wanted to just yeah yeah bury myself but um yeah that was that was a bad moment if you're gonna if you're gonna boost the crowd up you need to hit a good shot yeah yeah so that was not a good time. Yeah, you should have chugged a beer right after that.
That's the only thing. Or take your shirt off.
No, I mean, it was just head in my hands and kind of try and drown out the booing. Yeah.
Do you have a favorite hole? I think that's probably my favorite hole. On that course? No, just in general.
In general. Because you got the stadium seating.
You got like 40,000 drunk bros from Scottsdale in the stands. It's nice.
It's a nice change of pace. Is there a hole that you the stadium seating you got like 40 000 drunk bros

from scottsdale in the stands like it's nice it's a nice change of pace is there a hole that you look at and you're like yeah that's i love that hole um well i mean the 16th there is is unique there's no other hole like it that we that we would play throughout the rest of the year um you do you do definitely have a bit more adrenaline when you stand on that

hole um but i think like as we're just talking about it like that one sticks in six in wrong answer the correct answer is the next one yeah the next hole the next hole is always the most important hole okay yeah agree to disagree trying to bump you up to the 3.5 out of 10 yeah now in terms of uh the caddy relationship how does that work with your caddy does he ever say to you like hey calm down or like don't react this way or does he know like i just gotta let him be himself um for the most part he'll just like leave me to it and then yeah i think once he's probably sick of listening to what's coming out my mouth then he would just tell me to rein it in and and focus on the next one yeah um so yeah he'll uh he'll let me be for a period but yeah he'll once he's had enough it's he'll say something that's it your dad's your swing coach right yeah so how does that work are you allowed to get mad at him if he if he isn't job well, does that an awkward relationship? Like you have to go back to your dad at some point and be like, come on dad, I need more help. Um, well, yeah, I mean, it has its, um, awkward moments, I guess.
Um, but he's been my coach since I was, I was 10. So we've been on a, quite a long journey.
I guess you could say he's done a good job yeah no it's

been good um i think that there's times where it's more challenging mainly because i'd be quite frustrated on the range and then it's not so much that you're almost looking for like a magic answer and there kind of isn't one.

It's just a case of some days your rhythm or your swings just slightly out and but all the positions that you'd expect to see when you're swinging well you're you're hitting those spots but you're just not um they're rhythm wise and it's so it's just a i guess it's why it's one of the most frustrating games you can. So in terms of golf, you know, like when we talk to starting pitchers in baseball, we'll always have the question of like, do you know the second you step out there? Like today's the day.
Today is my day. Do you know the minute that you get the range before around? You're like, this is everything's coming easy to me or it's going to be a struggle.
yes and no I think when you're when you're going through a phase of of playing

well everything's coming easy to me or it's going to be a struggle uh yes and no i think when you're when you're going through a phase of of playing well naturally then it feels easier um and even just but it is a mad game like you can have a warm-up on the range and you don't miss a shot and you get out on the golf course and for some reason you're trying to do exactly the same thing but you basically can't hit a golf shot right you end up shooting a bad score and then i mean i've had it plenty of times where i've had a shocking warm-up and i'm raging going to the first tee i sound on the first tee straight down the middle and you're kind of off and running and you go and you go and have a decent day. Right.
Um, yeah, but it's just, yeah, it's mad. What's, what's the hardest part of the mental game in golf? Because like for me, and I'm not a pro golfer.
I don't know if you knew that. Um, it's like holes like 11 through 17.
I'm like, I just want to go home. Do you ever have that? Where it's like, this is long.
Like this this is a long time yeah you can have that on a friday afternoon when you're basically missing the cut and you just oh yeah that probably yeah you'd be if someone was like that you can just go in you'd probably just take it withdraw yeah yeah take an injury that's what i would do no start doing this with your shoulder yeah yeah but what is what is the most difficult thing that maybe the average fan doesn't realize in terms of the mental game or even the swing game um i think one of the hardest things mentally really is when you've on a sunday and you see it every week um guys that are going out in the last few groups you've got a chance to win the golf tournament if you go have a decent day and there's always one to say one or two guys that have a bad sunday and that's um it's a frustrating place to be because you're like you're trying your best and and things just aren't happening like you can hit good golf shots to say five six feet whatever and then you you lip out the putt and it's just it's just not not going your way and you you have to keep trying your best and it it's like deflating because you you've kind of got you've done all the hard work for the start of the week to get yourself in position you carry on playing well um and it just doesn't really work out i think that's always hard um that's a good answer so is how many shots in a round would you say you need a little luck well um probably like half of them really yeah certainly yeah certainly when you get around the around the greens yeah um yeah you need you need some you need a little bit of luck right certainly for putts to drop and things like that and days when you when you're hitting good putts and they're they're lipping out and but you you have to try and trust that process and keep doing the same thing and it doesn't work But then there's other days where it's going your way and you might not hit like as good a putt, but then it will bobble in and it keeps your momentum going and you keep sort of riding that wave. So, yeah, this is, yeah.
Yeah. I mean, it's crazy to think that luck does play a big part.
Would you rather be lucky or good? Both help. Yeah.
I'd rather be lucky. I would rather be lucky.
If you're lucky all the time, then you're actually good. So you get the best of both worlds.
But you can be good and not lucky. Yeah.
Yeah. So we got the Ryder Cup coming up.
We're mortal enemies. You've competed in it twice.
Is it coming do you feel confident i hope so well um i think

for the the guys that played whistling straights um that will be on the team in rome you have that added motivation um i mean they're they're amazing weeks anyway i've been fortunate to play the last two and i i loved both weeks um i think whistling straights was a shame because we didn't have because of covid european fans couldn't travel and then you don't have that i guess that you know when any any sporting event you've got the home and away end and you've got the back and forth. It was just so heavily one-sided support for the U.S.
team. We're a good sports town.
We show up to support our golfers. Yeah, I mean, the support that the guys had that week was amazing for them.
It made it a little bit more challenging for us. but knew if it was quiet on the golf course we were doing our job because so the u.s fans won it for the united states is what you're saying no not really um i mean i mean ultimately the the u.s team played amazing yeah and um fully deserved to win there's no doubt about that i just think um home support goes a long way.
And I think that that will play a big role in Rome. Yeah.
Is there a different mindset going into a competition like that as opposed to on the PGA Tour you go out there, you're trying to play for yourself. It's an individual game.
And then you've got the team formats and the Ryder Cup. In terms of preparing and the mental state that you get in going into a round, what's the difference between the two? Well, I mean, it's kind of the same things.
All you can do is go out there and try your best. But you're not just playing for yourself at the Ryder Cup.
You're playing for your teammates, family that are there, you've got, and all the support,

the fans that are out there following you

and everyone kind of watching back home.

It's a lot bigger than yourself that week.

And I think that that shows in the emotion that you see

that players have with holding a putt

and the responses that the crowd sort of give, with holding a putt and the the responses that

the crowd sort of give like when you hit a shot into the green um and the cheers you get it's you kind of get you get goosebumps when you're on the first tee um yeah that's great it's amazing it's a great competition here's a hard question for you which would you rather have accomplished you win the Ryder Cup

England wins the World Cup

or Liverpool

wins hard question for you which would you rather have accomplished you win the rider cup england wins the world cup or liverpool wins the fa cup the premier league and the champions league in the same season you don't care about the fa cup right i mean they all count but if it's a triple crown then that's nice what is the caribou cup or something caribou cup that's elite that's Carabelle cup yeah that one doesn't matter that one um i mean selfishly i i would i would like for europe to win the rider cup okay all right wow so you just made it so the liverpool is gonna have a terrible season that's on you well yeah i'll take that do you get to watch a lot of liverpool games um yes and no being over here in the states makes it a lot easier to generally watch the games because you have them on tv right like the saturday kickoff the three o'clock kickoff in the uk um they don't show the games so um being over here in the states it's always on tv so tea time permitting i'll uh yeah i'll try and try and watch the game yeah yeah um all right so i have one last question it's a roback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use promo code take i'm wearing it right now roback.com uh promo code take qzips polos hoodies joggers shorts everything roback.com. Promo code TAKE.
Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything.

Roback.com.

What was the conversation with your fiance

after she banged the port-a-potty?

So for people who didn't see,

you were in your back swing and a port-a-potty door closed.

Yeah.

And you were pissed because you're like, what the hell?

And it was your fiance.

Yeah.

That was at

the italian open um yeah i mean there was there was no there was no one uh no fans really that week um so emily my wife bless her was walking around uh then fiance um and yeah she went went to the uh the port-loo. And as she was coming out, she saw a massive spider on the door.
So she basically, like, shit herself and jumped out the way of the door, which happened to then slam as I was basically at the top of my backswing. So that's the background.
So you actually actually you've got some context of why she slammed the toilet door on my downswing now you were you're i'm like your reaction you were like what the hell and then how quickly were you like oh no so i was like like so i kind of started laughing i looked up and obviously saw her straight away and yeah so that's why i uh it's good you saw her could you imagine if you'd like flipped out and then that would have been uncomfortable at home later that night like kick that person out i know wow i mean she was the only person standing there so it's not like um most weeks over here when you've got thousands of people walking around and you kind of that sort of noise goes on a lot and it doesn't really affect you too much but when it's um yeah when you've got one person stood on the side of the fairway and they yeah happen to do it on your your down to and you notice it more do you see the spider did you confirm that there was a spider there or was that so she might have just been lying yeah i yeah that's a good it's a very good lie. Yeah.
I actually have one last thing. Can you rate my golf swing? Can you just give me any tips or anything? I piped this one.
Just no spoilers, but I piped it. What do you think? Oh, look at that move.
Straight legs. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Why the straight the straight legs it's just that's where i get all my power and then you've got anchors on yeah i put what shoes you wearing uh those i lost my golf shoes so those were just tennis shoes okay yeah you look like you're pretty well you're locked in on the ground yeah right yeah you got to make sure you anchor yourself i don't know if you know that your dad might not have taught you that yeah well to be fair when he swings a golf club he's got his anchors on as well he doesn't move uh he doesn't move his feet but um you think i got something i would suggest that you you start off all right because you got your knees bent yeah and then you go and then you get some lock position yeah yeah yeah i don't listen i'm not going to criticize your process no well maybe you should just keep your knees bent.
Yeah. And then you go.
And then you get to lock position. Yeah, you lock it out.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm not going to criticize your process.

No, well, maybe you should just keep your knees bent and then allow your feet to move as well.

That might help you a little bit.

It makes people very mad when I post those.

They get very upset online.

It's hard to watch.

Yeah.

It's a little painful for me too.

I'm not going to lie.

People still criticize your golf swing? Just random people on Twitter, they give you advice out of nowhere? I mean, you get the odd message of people saying things. That's crazy.
But, I mean, it's easy when you're sat on the sofa, right? Yeah. I love doing the thing.
You just step up to the ball, and you're like, okay, golf Twitter roast my swing. And then you just put in slow-mo, and you swing.
And so they have to watch like a 30-second video of you not swinging. It's good.
Just get back at them a little bit. Fire back at the losers.
Yeah. Less time on social media, the better, though, I think.
I'd agree. Probably right.
Yes, unfortunately it's our job, but I'd agree. Yeah.
You'll turn it to us. Yes.
Yes. Well, Terrell, thank you so much.
Good luck this week. It was great having you on.
we're rooting for you um not in the rider cup though yeah not in the right that's fine no i'll allow that we hope you lose and i i listen i heard that excuse like well our fans couldn't come that was an excuse that's bulletin board material um take it as you wish we're gonna send the entire the entire state of new jersey is going over to italy it's gonna be like jersey store season two yes and we're gonna be in your face all the italians going home yeah well thank you so much best luck rest of the year thank you good luck rated t for team my name is paul hayman special counsel to roman reigns and the wise man. Step out of the ropes and onto the island in WWE 2K25.
An epic WWE themed world ruled by the one and only Roman Reigns. The return of promos plus intergender matches.
My GM goes multiplayer and more. WWE 2k25 available now okay mount rushmore time what are standings uh they are very close if not to even i believe you guys are up one point and then our two teams are tied or hank and mac let me double check i mean this is we do this segment every time i know it's gonna it's gonna come down to the end big cat pft jake billy 23 hank max 22 okay so sorry we're gonna do it's okay mount rushmore i expect better out of you uh if you do that again you have to listen to uh the entire do we care if obama is gay space back all all night deal okay that's how that's accountability that is it's kind of built yeah okay Mount Rushmore of ways to waste money ways to waste money who has the first pick you guys are first me and Billy are second okay so Jake and Max.
I heard that you had trouble getting in touch with Billy today. I double texted it and it worked out.
It worked out. He did contribute.
So this is Jake and Billy, a true Jake and Billy. Yep.
Memes not involved. Okay.
PFT. What do we want to do with our 1-1? I like our 1-1.
Yeah. That we have on the list.
Yeah. I also like the second one that I sent you in that text.
And then yours. So I'll let you call.
Wait, what is the second one you sent me in the text? The most recent two texts that I've sent you. Most recent two texts I sent you.
Wait, the first one or the second one? They're all good. Pick one of those.
Okay.

Buy a boat.

Yep.

Buy a boat.

Good way to waste money.

What are the two happiest days of a boat owner's life?

The day they buy it, the day they sell it.

It's always way better to have a friend that has a boat than to actually have a boat yourself.

Yeah.

This is a joke I've heard on the golf course. I would never say it, but I've heard people say it.

The three F's.

If it fucks, flies, or floats, it that's good i like that i like that i would never say that joke another another golf course joke you know what they call a boat it's just a hole in the water that you throw money into yeah i've heard that one before yeah we should do golf course jokes mount russia golf course jokes oh yeah it wouldn't work well well okay uh you guys don't like you don't like that pick it's fine I mean it's not the most relatable pick but it's fine well what is what do you mean relatable I mean how many people are buying boats it's about about rush for wasting money yeah a lot of people don't buy a boat because they know it's a waste of money I mean I wasn't gonna say anything you asked my thought on the pig fuck you dude um we're gonna go with not canceling subscriptions you don't use oh good one yeah good one my strategy on this one is uh i just wait to lose my debit card somewhere and then i get a new card and then i have to opt back into all the old subscriptions I have so many fucking mindless subscriptions. That adds up.
It adds up. It adds up.
Okay. Rocket money.
Max. First one, bottle service.
Oh, good one. Good one.
Yeah. It's always shocking how much bottles cost when somebody else pours.
And then they bring out like the sparklers. That's what you're paying for.
Yes, this is a Hank. Hank is very worried.
Why? I mean, he just keeps telling me to cook, telling me to cook, and then he's like, you have to go by this list. You have to go by this list.
Okay. Decent pick.
Next one, college. Yep, good pick.
We had that on our list too. Good pick.
Good wait, Hank went to college and got a degree and he couldn't do everything.

How is that relatable to Hank?

Hank got his job because he was so good at college.

Hank's college

fucking stopped existing.

You also forget that this is a two-man

team that I also went to college.

That's true. Did you?

I did. Villanova

alum and Hofstra attendee what percent of your of your college classes do you think are relevant to your everyday zero me actually a lot what did you do this documentary filmmaking no shit how did we not know that holy fuck fuck. Oh, yeah.
I made a documentary about...

Wait, can we...

What was your thesis about?

I made a...

I did social justice documentaries.

The first one...

Oh, who am...

The first one was about...

I went into jails and talked about people with like...

Okay, that's a good one.

Who had life without parole.

The second one was about the opioid epidemic.

Okay, that's not... Yeah, that yeah the second one was about the opioid epidemic okay

that's not yeah that's good yeah that was it so how come it takes so long for the golf videos to come out uh i mean i i've opened a year on each of those yeah i spent the in my entire junior year on the first one and my entire senior year on the on the well you spent your entire year on the rider cup so well i'm not doing the rider oh yeah we know you are because it hasn't come out yet. Right.
So that's why we're never going to see it. All right.
Paintball. Oh, yeah.
Paintball comes out tomorrow. Okay.
Let's go. Yeah.
And the whole video is out now. Yeah.
The whole video is out now. Shout out Jake for eating a worm.
I was very proud of you for that. That shocked me.
Jake, to his credit, was like, you know what? I'm not really helping out with this hole. Yeah.
Shocked Mr. Position.
I had to do something. He's going to get waist deep inside a hole.
But he was like, I got to step up the content. I'll eat a worm.
And then in very Jake fashion, the next day when we did the Billy Food Challenge, saw a noodle on the ground. He's like, that's grosser than the worm.
Yeah. That's them for that.
Okay. Our next pick.
This is a Billy entry. I'm firing away with it uh going to a strip club okay well billy especially we know how he deals with strip clubs he spends his entire paycheck there uh okay good picks uh pft what should we do here i think we should go with the one yeah number 11 on this list here uh let's go with 8 and 11 yeah yeah okay so you go first so uh Max is going to claim this isn't relatable, but I think we should go with the one.
Yeah. Number 11 on this list here.
Let's go with eight and 11.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you go first.

So Max is going to claim this isn't relatable, but I think it is very relatable.

And I want to say that I don't see this as a waste, but it is a waste.

Having kids is just.

That's not a way.

It's a money pit.

You know how much money you have to spend on daycare?

Dude.

It's shocking to see how much. That's fucking money pit.
How much do you think you spent on toys in the last five years? So, so, so much money. And here's the best part.
If you buy a kid a toy, they play with it for about five minutes. Then they're like, I'm going to play with your fucking shoes or something that could kill me.
They're like, know what's more fun than the than the paw patrol toy you got me a pair of fucking scissors i want a knife i wonder if i can fit this fork into the electrical yeah kids love remote controls they love everything that's not a toy it's it's without fail they want to play with everything that is not a toy that's why i lock chris in a crate with blake yeah. That's where he stays.
All right. What do you think that's not relatable? No, no, no.
I mean, kids is relatable too. Way more people have kids than have boats.
Yeah, but buying a boat is something everyone knows is a waste of money. I don't have a boat.
And I know it's a waste of money. Yeah.
Agreed. Okay.
Having kids.

You should actually just adopt your kids when they're 17 years old.

It's been way less money.

And then send them off to your college.

I love my kids.

I'm fortunate enough to have money, but it is.

If I thought about it, it's shocking.

And then it's a double because you also get college.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

We got college in that.

Yep.

Double pick. That's facts.
And my daughter's wedding. So we got that too.
Yep. Yep.
Yeah, it's like a mega pick. It is a mega pick.
It's a mega pick. Okay.
All right. Our next pick for biggest ways to waste money, signing James Harden to a contract.
Yeah. So having James Harden work for you.
I want to see your fat face. No, that was a great pick.
No, that was a great pick. Thank you, Max.
I agree with that. Thank you, Max.
Thank you. Max, tell me how much you...
You can't see my face. Max, James Harden to a new contract? Sorry.
Any contract. Just signing James Harden to a contract.
Signing James Harden to do anything. Signing James Harden.
Yes. Max, tell me how good that pick was.
I mean, it was great. Talk to us dirty.
You love that pick. Talk to us dirty.

Tell us how fucking good.

Tell me how much you love that pick.

How fucking good that pick was.

Huh?

You love that pick.

Would you titty fuck that pick?

It was a great pick.

Thank you.

No.

Some guy.

Shout out to the guy on the street today that just said, you were right about titty fucking.

Didn't even say hello.

He just walked by me and was like, you were right about titty fucking.

You could probably titty fuck James Harden.

Yeah.

True.

All right. I fucked up my mic stand stand i don't think i'm recovering okay keep going all right i'm never recovering from this our pick is actually going to be in a similar uh category to you guys we're going to go with continuing to pay bobby benia through 2035 okay uh it's a big waste of money This is a Ravel pick, Jake.
It's a Ravel pick. It's a Ravel pick.
I love the Okay. It's a big waste of money.
This is a Ravel pick, Jake. It's a Ravel pick.
I love the story, but it is a Ravel pick. It's a big way to waste money.
A Major League Baseball team. How much does he get paid, though? I think a couple million a year.
So that's not that much money. Didn't they figure it out that if you just use that money instead of paying Bobby Benia to invest with a guy named Bernie Madoff you'll make way more yes it was a it was a sound financial decision by the Wilpons I don't know the fact that they're still paying 2035 is insane good for Bobby Bonilla yeah good for him but the Mets are wasting money but it doesn't change for inflation 1.19 million actually is a decent deal with no change to inflation how much was a million dollars when he signed it i don't know but it's still a lot a lot no but how how much would today look it up well there's also no salary there's no salary when did he sign it when did he sign it uh when did he sign it every july 1st 2011 to 2035.
2011 was when he signed it? In 2000, the Mets agreed to buy out the remaining 5.9 million and then 1.2 million for 25 years starting July 1st, 2011, including negotiated. So if it was with inflation, they would have had to pay 1.36 million instead of 1 million.
They're paying him another 12 years. I know it's a great deal for him.
I love it. Yeah, for him.
But the Mets are wasting money. Okay.
Okay. All right, ready? Yeah.
Next, we're going to go with crypto. Yeah.
Okay, good pick. Okay.
A lot of people lost a lot of money with crypto.

Next one you probably aren't going to like, gambling.

Oh, that's not true.

If you're a bad gambler. I mean, how much money?

Have you wasted money gambling?

Nope, because I've made friends along the way, my friend.

That's actually a terrible pick.

No, it's a great pick.

No, it's actually a terrible pick because i i if yes you lose money gambling and i'm very open about the fact that i'm a loser but i wouldn't trade it because i love it and if you bet within your means it doesn't hurt and matt just for the record you would have said this last week right before the news came out yeah 100 okay good interesting okay so we had a similar one for our last one you guys tell me if you want to veto it we had tailing barstool employees gambling picks that's that is gambling that's kind of well no it's not gambling it's certified losing it's kind of technically not gambling you cannot right well it's technically not gambling is it not what gambling gambling gambling is a chance you can win if you tell us there's no chance you can win therefore you're wasting money wrong nikki smoke 70 yeah i did the fucking candles while i did win money last year god damn it i hate that everyone says that sorry i got a little trigger next pick jake i was pent up is that an official veto? Yes. It sounds to me like...
I'm going to let you stay. I'm going to let you stay.
No way. This is bullshit.
This is bullshit. No, no.
We're calling Hank. I'm calling Hank.
No, no. We just voted.
I'm calling Hank. You're such a bitch.
Hank's drunk face down in a sandbar right now. No, no.
Good pick. Good pick.
This is ridiculous. Good pick.
You don't think that's a good pick? No, I think it's a great pick. It's the same exact pick.
You literally just said it might be the same thing. Gambling after gambling.
It's a bad pick because one... What is tailing someone's pick? The Can't Lose Parlay ended up plus money last year.
If we're talking about it on this show, the three and a half field goal bet hit at like 67% our Bolarama's money. The Can't Lose Parlay won money! That's what I just said.
You look at our Bolarama picks. I think the winner, Hank, was like 500.
If this stays, the entire sanctity of Rushmore. We'll move.
We'll move. We'll veto.
Don't let him boss you around. Max, with Hank at not fear, Max has such boss energy that's bothering me.
I'm calling Hank. I'm calling Hank hank okay what's your next pick uh our fifth slash fourth pick will be uh ordering too much food not really a waste you'd rather have too much than too little i eat all my food we have experiences here on the show where we think we have bigger stomachs than we do.

Clean play club.

Yeah.

But sometimes...

There's a way you could have worded that.

That would have...

Ordering too much food.

Buying too many groceries.

Yeah.

It's healthy.

I had that pick.

It's healthy groceries.

Yeah.

I just literally just...

I buy healthy groceries and throw it out.

I would have said going grocery shopping whilst hungry.

Yes.

Okay.

That too.

Yeah.

What should we do for our last pick?

We got a lot of good ones on the board here,

Mr. Cat.
I like 16 and

18.

This is another order. Yeah.

Let's do 16. Okay.

The first part of 16,

16A or 16B?

Wait, what do you have? 16A, 16B?

Well, there's a slash in there. Oh, yeah.
I think we'd say both, right? Hosting the World Cup or the Olympics. Yeah.
It's world events. World events.
Hosting world events. Hosting a massive world event.
I think Qatar spent like $2 trillion or some bullshit hosting the World Cup. Great job by the Emirate.
Went off without a hitch. But at the end of the day, they're going to have stadiums all around their country that are never going to get used again the brazilian stadiums like they're all empty have you seen the chinese stadiums yeah it's awesome with a swimming cube yes they're like i think wolves live there now yeah it's actually really badass that's actually the only benefit is you get to watch it like cool uh this is abandoned porn it looks like a scene from what was that tv show uh with the guy and the girl traveling across the country

because of the zombies just came out.

The man, Ron Swanson was a gay guy.

It doesn't matter that he was gay.

Last of Us.

Last of Us, yeah.

They look like a scene from The Last of Us

when you watch the stadium get over the best.

Okay, good Mount Rushmore.

What did we miss?

I feel good about our picks.

Memes wanted to say OnlyFans.

Okay. What's your budge looking like what are you wasting on only fans a month it's a waste of money porn's free right but that's a fair point you know it's a waste of money uh you know you see like a trapeze artist on instagram explore and you're like all right what's this all about and then uh she's got her legs overhead and you know she's going to work yeah i'll i'll kind of take the counterpoint to that though memes at least if you're buying only fans you're you're paying the people that are providing you the service yeah you're not paying you're not giving ad traffic to some random company right hard-working ladies yeah um i had betting in uh iowa football over could probably do wisconsin as well but that's been in the news because there's players even their own players were betting the under uh any warranty buying any warranty yeah warranties are always a crock of shit insurance and blackjack yeah same thing good one uh amazon impulse buys i just do that all the time we just see something on amazon yeah but sometimes you end up liking those things yeah but it's a waste of money um i have a taco holder that's shaped like a tyrannosaurus rex and i bought two of them that sounds awesome it yeah you're right i had a claw i had a good point max thank you max you're right uh i'm being a hater mobile games yeah and app purchases i thought all the time yeah like any Like, even if you're playing COD and you get the different outfits or whatever.
Chuck, Hank didn't take taxes. Yeah.
Yeah. PFT and I have, this one's maybe more not relatable to anyone but the two of us.
Season tickets to a team you don't root for in a city you don't live in. Yeah.
Well, for the youngsters. It's for the youngsters.

You guys are giving away like good people.

It's not a waste. I don't think we're good people.

No, Jake's right. This completely makes up for

everything else we've ever done. Yeah.

Billy submitted cocaine.

We actually? Yeah.

I don't think that's a waste.

That's why we didn't do it because people

enjoy it. Yeah.

He also had dick growing pills. Okay.
Billy. Yeah.
All right. So Billy's got strip clubs, cocaine, and dick growing pills.
Also real turkey. It sounds like one night.
It sounds like Billy had a rough night last night. Yeah.
What else did we have? We had gym memberships. yeah um taking a submarine trip to go visit the titanic yep uh dogecoin you guys got it nft crypto nfts board apes wasting money on secret service agents in the early 60s yeah might as well just throw your money away our picks are so specific our two teams and theirs are so generic.
I don't know if that's going to hurt or help. Hank and Max, they're all one-word answers except bottle service, and ours are very specific.
So I wonder how that's. I don't think James Harden's that specific.
Yeah, I think. It's pretty well known.
Houston's a big city. New York's a big city.
Philadelphia's a big city. We're hitting major markets here.
Also, we technically have strip clubs with James Harden as well That's true So we've doubled in everywhere Okay great about Rushmore Let's wrap up with guys on chicks before we do that PFT you got one last ad Hi it's Riggs from 4Play And you know what is back It's PGA Tour 2K25 That's right it's time to tee it up in iconic PGA Tour events The first look is a free to play demo experience Of PGA Tour 2K25. That's right, it's time to tee it up in iconic PGA Tour events.
The first look is a free-to-play demo experience of PGA Tour 2K25 releasing ahead of the full game launch. Players can experience the new swing mechanics, get a look at upgraded visuals, and start their 2K25 journey.
Plus, have all of your progress carry over to the full PGA Tour 2K25 game. Try PGA Tour 2K25 First Look for free now on PS5, Xbox, Series S, and X, and Steam.
Okay, let's finish up the show. Guys on Chicks, who's reading? That would be me.
Max and his boss energy. That's not mean.
Mean. What? What? You say me? I said mean.
Oh oh it's mean or mean you're being mean why why does that mean to say that you have you are you do have girl boss energy right now that's fine okay i guess that's i guess that's not mean whatever you're gonna get a write-up in vanity fair soon yeah um all right we ready ready to go here yeah hi yeah i think we introduced a segment about a minute ago so probably yep hi big cat pft hank memes jake and mr second place oh that's you that would be me that's you yeah that'd be me second place was that mean uh no it's fine that's that's fact this dude i work with got super fucked up at a company happy hour and professed his love for me. He told me he wanted to marry me, and he always knew from the moment we met.
How much he does or doesn't remember from that night is constantly changing. How much weight should a female put behind a drunk guy's words? Wait, wait.
It's constantly changing? He remembers every single second of it. He's been thinking about it nonstop ever since then.
Like, oh my God, I fucked up. Anything that he's pretending is blurry is not blurry.
He might not even been drunk. The guy was just horny as fuck.
And he needed to jerk off. You should have just told him, ladies, if a guy professes his love for you and says that you want to get married, just simply say to him, go to the nearest stall and jerk off, you pervert.
And they'll come back and there'll be a different person. So what is this girl's question? She's like, are drunk words actually sober thoughts or no? Yeah, this guy's in love with you.
He's desperately in love. He's in love with love with you.
Anytime a guy talks to you one-on-one at a company party past midnight,

just say no.

Yeah.

Just cut him off.

Say shh.

Shut your mouth.

Yeah, shush him.

Shh.

No, he jerks off to you.

I'm just being honest.

It's a problem.

Tell him to stop.

Tell him to go in the stall and maybe get him a subscription to only fans not a waste of money according to memes but is all right so i'm a woman and i'll just cut to the chase that's how most women introduce themselves got this is definitely definitely not a dude writing this question all the all let's just do a social experiment any uh any pmt any awl uh women sound off in the comments in the youtube section i want you guys to announce yourself how many girls listen to the show ready ready for shout out the girls yeah let the women cook i watch a lot of porn oh okay yeah definitely definitely a chick yeah okay nice a lot of women freak the fuck out about their men watching porn, but I honestly have never thought about the opposite. Do guys get jealous when their women watch porn? Good question, sir.
I would say probably every guy is like, that's awesome. Is it? Depends on what kind, I guess.
Well, because you're thinking lesbian porn. I am thinking lesbian porn.
I said my gay side was a lesbian. I think there's dicks in the porn that girls watch.
Is there? Do they make dick only? Like, do they make... Because the porn is usually the woman is the central figure in the shots and all the angles are the woman.
I'm thinking... Do they make, like, a dick shot porn like pov of like from from the girls pov yeah right i don't know do they that would be i i don't even think that women would like watching that that would blow my but what then what do they watch i hope i hope that they watch porn of men with penises that are smaller than mine.
That would be awesome. Also, very hard to find.

Also, women have it a lot easier because, look, a guy uses a fleshlight and he's a pervert.

A woman uses a vibrator and it's like that's what all women do.

That's a double standard.

Yeah, I don't have a robot that comes into my bedroom and gives me handjobs all the time.

We do it the old-fashioned way.

So that's fucked up.

They don't need porn.

They have the vibrator, right?

Yeah, you guys have a leg up right wow the pov is that a thing it's just like a guy just sweating and making weird noises and just feeling like you're so hot yeah i'll fix i'll fix the sink after this i'll take out the trash you're way hotter than your friends And all your co-workers are bitches Yeah Oh and also Also yeah Your mother-in-law is a fight I was gonna say I'd say your mother-in-law's a cop That's what I was gonna say We could do that now Wait but the guy that's boning her That would be his mom Or she's cheating on the guy Yeah With the guy that has an intimate understanding of her marriage yeah and her in-laws and her in-laws yeah exactly gets really into it is there stepfather porn should we write this is there stepfather porn where it's like from the point of view the stepdaughter yeah we should write this porn hey boys my boyfriend's farts mr position's starring in it now that's a pov i'd watch because then he's in different positions he's like watch watch me do this he's like Oz the mentalist like here I am now I'm not Jake it's just Jake you're looking up at Jake and he's fucking and then all of a sudden it's like a flash and he's behind you I want you I want you to think of a position in your head now say it out loud and as she says she says it, Jake's there. Oh, girl.
How'd you know, Jake? How did I get here? Mr. Positions does it again.
Hey, boys. My boyfriend farts uncontrollably at all hours of the day.
Very similar to Hank. Including at night where I commonly wake up to a gas chamber.
After the von miller interview i suggested he get a panel to figure out what it is he's eating that's creating all this gas just everything just food just everything a guy puts in their body makes gas it also like he's eating like shit i know personally like if i'm eating like shit it's a fucking it's it's weapons of mass destruction. It's something that is, you know, they have they have nuclear protocols for what I can produce when I'm eating like shit.
Does gas actually work? I was talking the other day saying that when they get on a plane, they take gas and it works. It does.
I got to get on. I got to add that to my regiment of Tom's.
Yes. Gas X does work.
But yeah,. But yeah, he just has to stop eating like a garbage disposal, pretty much.
Probably not going to happen, though. Probably not going to happen, but it is as simple as diet.
It's not hard to figure out. You know when you've had like a long Sunday, like long weekend of drinking and eating, and it's just that shit.
You bottle that shit. It is like the most toxic toxic i was in a bad spot on the plane coming back from ireland because i just had been eating and drinking everything yeah about i don't know 26 hours non-stop and that plane ride was that was brutal i should get a medal i should get a medal for for surviving that flight without farting all right last one hey daddy cat pft hank jake marsh part of my take podcast and pft squirrely guy billy i'm pregnant with twin boys and my husband won't stop referring to them as big cat and pft we haven't been able to agree on any names so far my question is do you guys have any name suggestions so we'll stop calling them big cat and pft no offense thank you big Cat and PFT would be great names for twin babies yes we would get they instantly get all of our tickets to the Colts games agreed that's on the table right now and scholarship fund and I'll match yep we didn't say how much but it'll be a fund it is a fund community college I'll pay for a community college we'll.
We'll put a future bet in their name, and if it wins, they get half. But only if they bet half that they win, and then it wins again.
Yes, yes. And then we get half of that.
Big Cat and PFT, great names. Yeah, do it.
Lifetime subscription to Pardon My Take. Fun fact that I learned the other day.
So this is more about dogs giving birth than people. Did you know that different dogs in the same litter can have different dads? Oh.
So like brothers and sisters in the same litter can be half siblings. Whoa.
I thought it was a fake fact when I heard it because it came from the lips of a former member of part of my take who lies about a lot of stuff. Yep.
But I looked up, and it's straight up the truth. Wow.
That is kind of crazy. That's crazy.
Some bitch is getting railed out. They might have two dads.
Wow. Bitch as in like the female.
Actual bitch. Yeah, yeah.
Actual bitch. Misogynistic.
Yes. All right.
Great show. We are on heater.
I feel like we've had some great moments. Jake, great work today.
Keep saying that. But yeah.
Thank you guys too. Jake going to is Obama gay.
Yeah, I didn't expect it. Wait, what is it? Do we care if Obama's gay? Do we care? What do you think, Jake? Do you care? Final fact from Jake.
I do not care. Okay.
So he is gay? No. Because that kind of did the trick.
Do you guys care? Remember, each person before they comment, they have to state their stance. stance I don't care I do care because it'd be funny I don't care that he's gay I do care but in a good way Right It'd be very funny This is tremendous content Does it matter That's a different question Actually I don't think matter? Shit.
I don't know. Actually, I don't think it matters.

Fuck.

It doesn't matter.

We screwed up the one thing that we're supposed to remember there.

Fuck.

Okay, numbers.

69.

I'm going to go 91.

Memes, you ever gotten this?

Nope.

One.

20.

Memes has won.

95.

Ooh, so close. I don't want to win these

yeah

these are

yeah

these are bubble

bubble numbers

yep

love you guys

uh

the

a whale's

tongue

or no

a blue whale's tongue

weighs more than an elephant

shout out

female blue whales

we're having a good time. Oh, yeah.
I've been saying You're a little I'm not learning You're a little I've got to remember You're a shy You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little You're a little Thank you. Take on me Take on me

Take on me