Bills Left Tackle Dion Dawkins, NFL Preseason Over Reactions, Mt Rushmore Of Things That Aren't Real And Johnny Football Documentary Review

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have an incredible interview. I'm giving it a must-listen to all AWLs.
This is a guy we've never had on, who we will become. He is a recurring guest now.
I think best friend, too best friend too yeah deon dawkins from the buffalo bills had us in absolute stitches uh just a hilarious hilarious dude great great story so must listen for all awls we're gonna do the mount rushmore of things that are not real in honor of our queen what's's her name? Playing Baros Gomez.

What's her name?

Line.

I'm looking it up right now.

Give me one second.

I just we're going to do things that are not real.

We're going to talk a little football, some golf, some Tiffany Gomez, Tiffany Gomez, our

queen, things that are not real.

And then we have a review of the Baker Mayfield documentary. Johnny Football documentary.
Baker Mayfield is not Johnny Football. The Johnny Football documentary.
Damn, that hurts for Baker Mayfield. What, all Browns quarterbacks look the same? Yeah, they do.
The Johnny Football documentary at the end of the show. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And I'm allowed to solve the work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to electric avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to out. It's part of my take, presented by Marshall Sports.

Welcome to part of my take.

Today is Monday, August 14th, and football is back.

So back.

Football season is fully back.

The preseason's back.

Time to overreact to everything that we saw.

Oh, I have some overreactions that I wrote down.

Okay, first, right off the top, Stetson Bennett, future Hall of Famer. Yeah.
He's part of it. He looks good.
It actually is crazy that we're in a world where I was reading an article that was like, Stetson Bennett, who is set to be Matthew Stafford's backup and potential heir apparent. Like, what? Okay.
Let's fucking do it. But before we do overreactions, P i know you were in ireland uh hi so you probably weren't able to watch all the games let me just ask you a quick question uh if i told you that a quarterback unnamed had a stat line of three for three 129 yards two touchdowns would you say that's a good day i'd say that's a great day that's for justin fields that's a great day listen i was box score i was in ireland but i did watch the clips he was throwing some fucking dimes i i am air yards traveled i love that stat yeah i think i think uh what was it like the 60 yard touchdown pass went like negative two yards in the air doesn't matter he threw him open he's he managed the game correctly dj moore had me rock hard i'm okay saying that uh listen i am at the point now where it is there's a line in the sand it's it's enough you know back and forth is he the guys justin fields is the guy i have started hate bookmarking justin fields slander to come back to it later.

Good, good.

So he could play a perfect game and people would still nitpick him.

That's fine.

Three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns.

Yeah, I overreact.

But yeah, the Bears look fucking awesome.

And DJ Moore, you are the best ever.

Are they putting too much on tape, though?

Are they showing all the wrinkles to the offense? Three plays, that's all you need. Three plays, three for three, 129 yards.
Pretty good outing. I went through the same thing with Sam Howell's outing.
I went back, watched the highlights. Did he go three for three, 129 yards? No, I think he went nine for 12, so he had six more completions.
And he had one touchdown and, yeah, Super Bowl. I'm thinking Super Bowl night.
It's the best time the haters out there that are like oh well they're they're basically playing like a glorified practice don't take anything away from it fuck you let us be able to overreact to these things this is why i like watching preseason football because you you find a couple guys that you're like oh these dudes could be guys and then and then they you'll never hear from them again but still we still have like three weeks of hope that we get to have from these meaningless games so let me just be delusional there's nothing worse than the guy on twitter before an nfl preseason game that's like just a reminder this is nfl preseason a lot of these guys might not even make the team overreacting to a play or a clip is ridiculous uh how about you're fucking ridiculous and i hope you get hit by a bus yeah because i'm gonna watch preseason and guess what you know what else i'm gonna do preseason any bad play i'm just gonna spin it to a positive play so if if a team looks bad if my team looks bad for a series i'm i'm gonna say yeah it's preseason they're the third stringers who cares if they look good i'm like wow we have depth this is awesome so what i'm we're the best team ever so so we can point at the stat if we end up losing we can be like well i think the raiders went undefeated last year in the preseason yeah if your team wins you're like well the ravens never lose preseason games the most impressive streak in sports going right now not telling us and they're us. Yeah, you did fuck up with that one, Jake.

That's a reminder.

Jake, come on.

That's a fucking reminder.

I want to be better.

Take them this week.

Yeah, so if your team wins, you can be like,

well, the Ravens, they lock it in the preseason.

They care about it. They're usually a pretty good team.

So you can spin it either way that you want.

That's the beauty of preseason is that it's basically

the eye of the beholder.

You just basically watch a game, and however you need to get to a point where you feel confident about your team you do that you

make you make giant leaps in logic you you nitpick you take only the good plays you just discard the

bad ones that's what preseason football is now the other part of preseason football is watching

other teams and being like they suck yep so I have some hot takes Russell Wilson sucks well I

I'm going to disagree with you on that one. He was not wearing a Gilligan hat on the sideline doing interviews during the second half.
That's one thing that Sean Payton was looking for. Absolutely no Gilligan hat.
I think his rules, in fact, he had a list. No uniforms off after you're done playing no sunglasses no Gilligan hats and no interviews during the game Russell Wilson checked all those off okay so he might be following protocol but he sucks he's back uh other hot take Nathan Rourke is better than Dak Prescott did you see that play I did not see that play oh my god can you send him that play It was like the greatest play that's ever been played.
He's a Mac legend, CFL legend, Nathan Rourke. If the Cowboys wanted to be, if they were, to quote Logan Roy, if they were serious people, they would start Nathan Rourke week one.
Yeah. Yeah.
So his brother was the starting quarterback for Ohio. He had him bowl game.
He was hurt. Yeah.
Yeah, they're Macbred. Okay.
That was a legit pass by Trevor Lawrence right there. That was good.
Yeah. He's better.
Oh, wait. He's not on the Cowboys.
He's better than Trevor Lawrence. He's better than Trevor Lawrence.
That's what I meant. But he also is better than Dak Prescott.
Well, he's a higher number than Dak Prescott, right? Congrats on saying the highest number, Logan. Yeah.
I forgot it came. It went against the Cowboys.
Again, this has all been a blur. So I agree with you on that because, Big Cat, you'll remember last year, I was more of a Justin Fields guy in terms of like Justin Fields versus Trevor Lawrence.
Well, I was not. I was trying to play cool.
You're trying to temper expectations. I'm not.
I'm not. I think Justin Fields is better than Trevor Lawrence.
He's the best quarterback. It might be the worst take.
I might look back on this in two years and be like, you've said a lot of dumb shit on this podcast before this might be one of the dumber ones that i've said uh max max duggan had a very impressive line who are the stat lines that we always compare him to like the uh the the crazy stat lines where it's like the josh rosen stat rosen yeah max duggan played the entire second half for the chargers he went two for three three for 19 yards. Pretty good.
I like it. Pretty good.
Did you guys see the wild stat? No. With Max Duggan and Stetson Bennett, they played each other in their final college game at SoFi.
Wow. That's wild.
That's crazy. That's wild.
Preseason game at SoFi. Please put a note in the file to fade the Chargers week one.
Shane's looking at me. He's very upset.
They're playing the Dolphins. They're not playing any starters.
They're not playing any offensive starters. Julian Edelman taught us this lesson.
You need to play offensive starters at least a few snaps. A few series.
It's disgusting that the C-words are out there acting like they're the vintage New England Patriots. It's crazy.
Like we want to take all our guys out and just give the backup guys a shot. If you remember how the C words ended their last season, they should be playing only starters.
Correct. When I read you guys all of my week one reminders, you told me to remind you to disregard all my week one reminders.
Okay, but yeah, that's the last, that's the final reminder. Jake, what I want is to know every team that doesn't – or someone else can tweet me this.
Every team that doesn't play their offensive starters for at least a series in the preseason, they're out. They're getting faded hard.
Hard. Shane is looking at me just incredulous right now.
Anthony Richardson is good. I do have a Cowboys one, a positive Cowboys one, even though the third stringer for the jaguars is better than their franchise quarterback uh deuce vaughn is awesome and i loved him at kansas state he is he is deuce vaughn is going to win a lot of fantasy leagues deuce vaughn is so sick to watch i love the clips and practice of him that are basically him running in between his own offensive lineman's legs he's just like uh when when you're playing Kart or you're playing Super Mario Brothers and you get hit by – you get hit with a feather.
Is that the one? No, the lightning bolt. Yeah.
Deuce Vaughn looks like he got hit by the lightning bolt. Yeah.
And he's just like wiggling between everybody's legs. He's faster than everyone.
So fast. He's awesome.
So fast. Jalen Carter still the draft.
I said it. Facts.
Always have been. I said it.
He looked like he was trying, and he was good. Yeah, Anthony Richardson's good.
He ran over a guy. That was cool.
That means he's a franchise quarterback in my eyes. Kenny Pickett might be MVP.
That's another one. Mike Tomlin said that Kenny Pickett needs to play more than a seasoned vet, and he was very good.
He said we need Kenny to be who we need him to be,

and he was who they need him to be.

And he needs to play to the standard, which is also the standard.

Jordan Love, 7 for 10.

Not good.

One touchdown.

Not good.

They spanked the Bengals. I read one tweet where it said that he missed a couple of receivers.

That's the only thing I'm remembering from Jordan Love.

Is that one tweet?

Yep.

And I don't even know who wrote it. I just saw it and was like, yeah, he did miss some receivers.
I didn't watch a second of the game. My last one was DeMar Hamlin is alive.
Is that the same DeMar Hamlin? Yep. What if that's the guy that that girl was yelling at on the plane? I mean, we're going to get to Tiffany Gomez, our queen, for our Mount Rushmore, but people thinking she's a body double are just telling on themselves they've never seen a woman put on makeup.
You don't know. Well, women are tricky like that.
They can fool us pretty good. I can look at the same woman in three different states of wearing makeup, hair up, hair down, different bangs, and they look completely different to me.
Right, but they're all the same woman. They're all the same woman, technically.
But sometimes women be tricky. Yeah, no, and they be shopping.
Females be tricky. Yeah, but it is a woman can look different.
Yes, true. So everyone's like, this is a completely different person.
This is bullshit. It's like, well, you've never gotten laid.
Arthur Smith looks awesome in his mustache. The mustache is perfect.
And he's jacked. Dude, he's kind of looks like you with the mustache.
Oh, thank you. We're both good-looking guys with chins.
Appreciate that. I was gonna, yeah.
I mean, he is still thickless cage, but he is, the chins have gone away a little bit. Oh, he's gotten in shape.
He's lost probably, I'd say, 30 pounds. Best shape of his life i want to yeah best shape is like going to this this training camp i want to see him recreating the uh the a-rod picture was just kissing himself in the mirror yeah that would be hot i'd put it up in the studio maybe you can say this as a person so i did not classify this as an official pft dream bet you might recall last year on a thursday night football game i think it was the browns and the steelers i I dreamt that there was going to be a defensive special teams touchdown.
Like a vivid dream. Put that bet in.
It hit. I dreamt that the Houston-New England game was going to be – Did you have another dream bet after that? No, I think I'm 1-0 on dream bets.
Okay. And this one I said was going to be 13-6 in the fourth quarter.
I was off. It was 13-3 in the fourth quarter.
Took under i did not i didn't put it out there as an official dream bet but i am going to classify myself as being 1-0 on dream bets that i have not said were actual dream bets got it yeah cj stroud struggled a little he's a bust no he's gonna be fine stroud boys stand back stand by we're gonna be fine and bryce young his touch is perfect i am i am in bryce's uh memes do you so we all walked in here it's like you know nine o'clock at night every I got here first and I watched as everyone walked in here it was kind of like that meme the teacher walking in with the with the uh the same shirt yeah same outfit every day every single person walked in here and memes goes you see the Jets yeah and so memes what tell us what's what you saw in the jets game because you asked every like pft got off a flight from ireland two minutes ago you're like you see the jets game yeah the defensive line is very good will mcdonald the first round draft that's what everybody would say will mcdonald famous irish guy okay the whole pub was cheering for him will mcdonald jermaine johnson uh running backs look great zach wilson had he was checked down sally but he did fine okay is that is that a new phrase that we're doing this year for you memes check down sally yeah if you check the ball down you check down sally memes i'm rooting for the jets this year i'm pumped to watch the defensive line okay i like that that's when you. That's when you know you need ball back.
I just want to watch my defensive line work. Yeah, people are comparing it to the New York Sac Exchange, but...
Oh. People are just getting excited.
It's Jets Twitter. You? They're just getting excited.
This is good memes. I'm not going to shame you.
We gave that whole speech for a reason. Yeah, no, I just need football back.
It was just funny just asking everyone if they'd seen the Jets game. Like it was the Super Bowl or something.
Yeah, no, it was a really bad game, too. Matt Corral didn't play great.
It was tough to watch. Well, he's not going to have to play.
Yeah. Well, you never know.
You thought Matt Corral was the next in waiting? He had some draft hype going in that he got hurt yeah yeah i like james

winston oh james should be the starter 92 yards one touchdown no interceptions 121.8 passer rating

i don't know how they calculate that but um it sounds like that's high yeah he was really good

and the chiefs probably gonna suck this year was there is there a new james winston workout video

that came out or was that a recycled old one it's's recycled. Okay, because I was going to say, I can't keep track of it anymore.
It's some variation of his trainer with a wiffle ball bat and then Jameis holding a ball that looks like it's filled with bees, and he's just dancing around a bunch of tackling dummies. He's saying numbers.
It actually is not too dissimilarimilar than the proud boys actual the the nazi group doing their initiation where they beat someone up yeah to say cereals yeah it's kind of similar to that it's like i wouldn't be shocked if james just getting hit with like a pool noodle while he has to name you know sitcom characters yeah i i give it till week three where james winson should be the starting quarterback i mean i think he should be the starting quarterback now people are saying Derek Carr got too jacked yeah he does one picture of him well that's kind of like that's the Carr method is his brother who was we that was a miss on our part when we're talking about quarterbacks that were drafted highly that became good solid backups Blaine Gabbert was the other one Blaine Gabbert and then David Carr David Carr got jacked up because he knew that okay I'm going to be backing up Eli Manning in New York. He's never going to let me play.
So all I have to do is just do curls all day long, stand on the sidelines wearing a cutoff tank top, and look awesome. And that's kind of the path that Derek seems to be going on, where it's just like, okay, just get the biceps going.
Yeah, too big. He looks too big.
Okay, that was good. It felt good to talk about football i can't wait to overreact to week two preseason uh shane buchelle better than patrick mahomes yeah i'd say so week two well did patrick mahomes play today he played a little bit yeah okay two for two 15 yards oh that's not three for three 129 it's not no check down sally patrick mahomes what are you gonna say jake is week two the old old week three where the starters play three quarters? Yeah.
They don't do that anymore. We were talking about that last year because I think week two should be the new week three.
Yeah. But then week three is now the new week four.
Right. And week one is like nothing.
Week one is the new Hall of Fame game. It's the Hall of Fame game.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. It's all confusing.
All right. Other things.
Did you guys see Lucas Glover's swamp ass? Yeah. Yeah.
I lost the playoff. He won.
He won, which he deserves a lot of credit. He just went back to back.
It looked like he was wearing a reverse thong, the way that the swamp ass just showed up on the waistline and right down the butt crack. And CBS no favors they were like they followed him for about 20 seconds at one point just just showing his butt crack and that guy i mean credit to him because he looked like he had the worst swamp ass i've ever seen in my entire life and he won the tournament in overtime um but yeah that was that was something i I also – I know Lucas – has he won two in a row? He's won two in a row, right? I believe so, yeah.
And we're going to be out there at Olympic Fields this weekend talking to some golfers, seeing our friend Max, who he had a moment where I was like, oh, here comes Max. But he's not out of it, right? No, no, but, yeah, in this actual tournament he was like third and he hit a shot that was a beautiful shot to possibly hit an eagle, and he missed that putt.
But that's not – we're not going to get negative. We're going to see him this week.
He's still in the hunt. What's Rory say that he's focused on the road to Dubai? Yeah, he wants to.
That's what Max is on too. Yeah, the championship of the road to Dubai are more important than majors to Rory.
But I can't get behind – as much as wanted to be a lucas glover guy because of this swamp ass and knowing like any big guy has had to deal with this any guy really having to deal with this swamp ass is why you can't wear khakis or light you know gray or light tan in the summer lucas glover not wearing a glove is insane if your name's glover his name's Yeah. And I went and I looked it up, and he says that he actually would be a 10 handicap if he wore a glove.
I think Jim Nance said that. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.
No, it was from an interview a couple years ago. He said that he can't feel the club when he wears a glove.
Yeah, it's like taking a shower with a raincoat on. I mean, you got to have that skin on skin.
He needs to wear a glove. Yeah.
He's Lucas Glover. Yeah, well yeah well i almost respect it's like when you see a defensive lineman not wearing gloves it's like this guy's kind of fucking crazy yeah i don't know lucas probably pisses on his hands like moises aloo yeah he said that he when he when he was coming up he would uh dick harman his coach in houston would cut the fingers out for him so he would just to keep his like palm not getting ripped up.
And then he was like, I can't wear a glove. Like I can't do this.
See, I've always wondered why golfers don't wear two gloves. If you've got one glove on, if one glove is good, why not the second like a batting glove? Yeah.
Or wear it on the wrong hand. We should start that movement.
We should. Yeah.
Teddy two gloves. Yeah.
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Just a few simple swaps, and suddenly it feels like something that I'd order at a fancy cafe and that's why i always go for boar's head the quality the craftsmanship the fresh premium flavors that turn an everyday sandwich into something next level so if you're tired of the same old lunch try upgrading with boar's head head to the deli counter grab your favorites and see just how easy it is to make every bite amazing discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local boars head deli counter um and then the only other thing i had and you guys might have other sports stuff before we get to who's back um i think as of right now uh i am ready to make my one and only drop from my dingers okay so i i wanted to talk about wander franco now big cat the rules, you're not allowed to drop Wander Franco. Okay, so you guys want me to keep this guy on my team.
You, Jake, specifically. I'm just saying what we said at the beginning of the season.
No, no, Jake, are you specifically saying that Wander Franco should still be in the dingers only league? No, he should be banned for life. But unfortunately it's not up to us.
We've already done the rules. Okay, fine.
If I had a vote, I would absolutely say kick him out. Get him out of there.
Kick him out. All right, so let's relax.
But we can't change the rules midseason. We don't do that.
If he's on the IL, which he probably will end up being, then I can kick him out. You think they're going to design him as injured for fucking a year old i mean isn't that that's it that's an all-time injury it's also all legend by the way uh but yeah isn't that a mental injury uh they had wander franco giveaway day today and if you were under 14 you got a free hat yikes that's pretty great you hear about this one the hat looked awesome by the.
Yeah, it was a good hat. The hat was great.
Separate the art from the artist. Let's not go criticizing hats because of Wander Franco, what he may or may not have done.
It was a good hat. Let's separate it.
Did you hear about this one, that he just wants to get sent back down to the minors? Oh, nice. Did you hear that? Yeah, so I think you're allowed to make this ad drop.
No, I mean, we agreed that it's only for injury. So if he goes on the IL.
If he goes on if he goes on the il yeah if they're like sorry we're putting this guy in this we're putting this guy on the il uh for hopping on jeffrey epstein's airplane then yes you can drop him all right can i all right can you make do you want to make like a provisional no no here's what we'll do here's what we'll do here's fair i i will not drop them bylaws of the Dingers Only League. Which are ironclad, which we will never change.
Ironclad. So by the bylaws, I cannot drop him.
That's fine. That's fair.
I'm not going to contest that. I'm not going to appeal that.
Jake says that's fine. That there's alleged pedophiles in the Dingers Only League.
Jake will stand up. No, I said take him out.
When the media comes my press secretary jake marsh will handle all questions uh what i will do is i am personally going to sit him so if he plays and hits any home runs i don't want to count it okay that's fair right do you want a replacement no no he doesn't know i'm just personally i'm playing i'm. Okay.
Yeah. Who would have thought? I'm close to, I have to be close to bingo with pedophile, alleged pedophile and vertigo.
Well, Mountcastle's back. Like, what the fuck? Yeah.
And I'm not in last. Yeah, PFT's in last by a significant amount.
You might be able to catch up now that I don't have a shortstop. Was he playing shortstop? Yeah? Yeah.
Memes in the lead. Okay.
Yeah. There were some very funny memes out there about Wander Franco.
As funny as they can be, there was one it was like, what was it? It was Wander Franco and Karl Malone showing up to the high school prom and it was Kobe and Shaq. There also was one guy who was defending him, which again, it is is alleged but you don't have to be the guy who jumps in front of this one yeah uh but he was like it's this is bullshit it's alleged which again I agree if it's alleged like we don't know any of the facts uh but he's like this bullshit is alleged this is probably a girl he broke up with that's trying to get back at him and someone's like dude so you just said a girl who's 14 he broke up with yeah yeah and now she's upset so she's dragging his name through the mud uh listen we talked earlier about how guys are stupid and can't tell the difference between the same woman sometimes um 14 to 18 is a pretty big four years Yes, yes.
So was lying that's that's what i've heard from the uh the wonder friend or the wonder apologists out there saying that he didn't know that she was 14 not 18 that's that's a pretty significant age difference right there do we have any update on like the team or anything do they say anything other than i think they're they're waiting for the facts well he had a he had a day off today and they said it was a scheduled day off um yeah the other meme that was funny was a school night the the the money ball meme yeah with jonah hill and yeah brad pitt and it's like billy this is wander franco he's one of the best pure hitters in baseball his only defect is he's a pedophile i mean that's a funny meme yeah it's good meme again alleged we'll find out uh more i guess but he's all he is no longer counting for my team okay but he's still on your roster he is on my roster he's on my il il parentheses p alleged that's i want that officially noted uh here i have a statement for the rays during today's games we were made aware of the social media posts that are circulating regarding wander franco we take the situation seriously in close contact with major league baseball as it conducts its due diligence okay so we'll find out um they didn't really tweet today yeah i mean if it's not true that's bullshit uh but yeah he, he is going to be on my IL parentheses P, a legend. Okay, let's get to who's back of the week.
Jake, you want to start? I could start. You're sitting in Hank's seat.
I know, it feels weird. But yeah, my who's back of the week is the NBA Hall of Fame.
Basketball Hall of Fame. Yeah.
The inductions. What? No, go ahead.
I have something to say about it. Okay.
I really like Dwayne Wade's speech. I don't know.
Why were they doing the Basketball Hall of Fame at 11 o'clock on a Saturday in August? I'm just saying, are they trying to get the least amount of people to watch? It just made no sense. It was so random that the Hall of Fame was happening right now.
The speeches always do creep up on you. You have no idea that they're happening until they get put online.
And they don't know that was today. Yeah.
I think that's what they always do. Doesn't the Baseball Hall of Fame happen in the middle of summer? I think it's like Sunday afternoon or something.
Well, also the basketball Hall of Fame. The NFL Hall of Fame does the Hall of Fame game.
It's like the start of football season. It's like makes sense.
Like why wouldn't you do the basketball hall of fame in the middle of february so the basketball hall of fame they usually they they bring out all the inductees uh during the final four right remember we saw that when we were down in houston yes that's like it's the it's the longest hall of fame season in any sport right it goes it goes from like late march to yeah like mid-august yeah so who is who else isn't w? Wade, Dirk. Wade, Dirk, Tony Parker, Powell.
Becky Hammond was honored. Crazy.
Was honored? That's not in the Hall of Fame. Pop, I think.
Yeah, Pop. I saw Pat Riley said about Dwayne Wade, he's the greatest Miami Heat player to ever play, and this is not a knock against LeBron.

Usually when you have to follow it up by saying it's not a knock,

that means it's a knock.

Yeah, she got in.

Because we are sex positive both ways,

Dwayne Wade's dad, he looks like he's like 40 years old. Yeah, that was a great speech.

He's a good-looking dude.

I was shocked.

Yep.

Sex positive.

Like, if that had been reversed, we would have had to say something, so now we had to say something this way that's your who's back basketball hall of fame okay my who's back of the week is the epl yes english premier league is back oh it started off this week and uh i was i got to watch some of the games in a pub in ireland they fucking love that sport over there. It's crazy.
It's like NFL on steroids for opening week there. So I'm just looking at the top of the table right now.
Looks like Arsenal's got it wrapped up already. They start off 1-0.
So Arsenal, congrats on winning the 2023 English Premier League table. You also have a new short king PFT, Conte, for Chelsea.
Yep. He's like 5'7", but I think he's probably more like 5'6", and 5'5".
And he's so fast, and he's so much shorter. It's awesome watching him play.
It's been a good year for short kings. Between Messi, Marquise Noel, Conte, we're back.
Deuce Vaughn, we're fully back. Bagel Boss.
Yeah, Bagel Boss. No, that was years ago.
That was a couple months ago. That was years ago.
That was years ago. We should just start saying Bagel.
You should start putting Bagel Boss clips out, being like, wow, this just happened. Yeah, that guy.
I wonder what he's up to these days. Probably still angry.
Probably nothing good. Probably still angry.
Bryce Young. Yeah.
Short Kings are big time back. Short Kings.
Declan Rice tearing it up for West Ham. We're looking great.
The Hammers started out with a draw. Very happy about that.
Okay. And I was talking soccer.
I was talking soccer. That's all I got for the EPL.
All right. My who's back.
Also, Holland is just unfair. Yeah.
Victor Holland. Yeah, yeah.
That dude just, all he does is score goals. That too yeah but uh this dude Victor Holland he's like six seven all he does is score goals this guy this guy might be the best soccer player to ever play yeah Jersey Jerry's got his rookie card no really yeah he's been tweeting he's been tweeting non-stop about him so hopefully he can make some money off it there was a guy in the bar that was shout out to the irish awl that came up and said uh because it was burnley playing against man city he's like what the fuck is jj watt doing as an owner he can't he can't stop this holland guy they're blaming personally jj watt for not being able to stop holland from scoring which i love yeah that's how it works all right my who's back is um random people going viral and having their life changed so this guy uh Anthony Oliver I think is his name the bearded country singer yeah who has gone crazy crazy viral uh I feel like his life has completely changed and of course the internet tried to ruin it all of us like very quickly being like who does this guy vote for which side is he on is he industry plant uh i don't know the dude's voice rocks i watched that song probably about 20 times his voice rocks he did do the smart thing of keeping out a couple of the verses um because he's maybe he's not bob dylan can i should can i share a couple verses with you that he kept out of the song? It's like a money for nothing type.
Yeah. The best way I describe these verses are Billy football's Twitter trying to be you.
Got it. So one of the verses is I wish politicians would look out for minors and not just minors on an island somewhere.

That's strong.

That is Billy football being you.

That's very strong.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Makes you think.

And then the other one was, well, God, if you're five foot three and you're 300 pounds,

taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds.

Yeah, okay.

He's not Bob Dylan. He kept these verses out of the clip, which was very smart.

Yeah, I mean, listen, in some of our best songs,

like Money for Nothing and The Star Spangled Banner,

sometimes you got to delete a verse every now and again.

Yes, yes.

Make it, yeah, that's smart.

That's very smart for him because, yes,

the first thing people will do when they see anybody go viral

is they're like, okay, well, if this guy's not on my side,

then he sucks.

Right.

So let's try to figure this out. And he's an industry plant or yeah it just it ruins what was a great story the dude went viral awesome singer song rocks and then everyone's like well we got to figure out everything about him and where he stands and then we'll make a decision whether this song is good or not how about you just make a decision with your ears the song fucking rock yeah this song is way better than try that in a small town yeah can we all agree on that the singer and he had dogs in his in the background just chilling and i looked up his other songs they also rock again not bob dylan and i love his twitter handle too it's ain't got a dollar yeah he he he is awesome so So I'm a big fan of him.
I'm not a big fan of the Internet at large, but that's nothing new. Wait, I had another who's back.
Fuck. Was it Cooper Flag? No.
Yeah, so Cooper Flag, he's looking at UConn. Is that right? Well, he moved up a class.
Oh. So I think he's 2024, 2025 now.
Who's in that draft class, though? I don't know, but they're saying he can go to number one well that would be the last 20 that would be the greatest call and part of my take how can you move up a class something with like oh he's one of the september babies yeah so at yukon yukon would be awesome that's what i'm hoping for him i'm gonna ignore his entire season season at Duke and then take credit if he gets drafted one more. He's reclassifying from 2025 to 2024, making him the new favorite to be number one pick in 2025.
We did it, boys. So back.
We're so close. Duke is a favorite.
UConn was a staple of his games. Kansas, Kentucky involved.
He'd be the first 1-1 white Americans since like 1977.

Yeah.

Cooper Flagg out of Maine of all places.

Shout out Maine.

Maniacs.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Please go to UConn, Cooper Flagg.

We will chip in an NIL deal.

I won't.

I do not want to go to UConn.

Of course you won't.

Big East.

I hate UConn.

You want him to go to Duke?

Fuck yeah. I would love for him to go to Duke.
You and Hank. Why you you want him to go to duke fuck yeah i would love for why would you hank why would i want him to go to yukon i also was just out of shock like max just chiming in there because hank would not have been listening to the conversation about it so i was like whoa what okay there's also one more who's back oh who's that james harden is back what do you mean he's not fat anymore i mean he's just doing the whole song and dance again he said he's not coming to training camp oh yeah no duh yeah so but you want him uh well yeah whatever what do you mean whatever i i think he's better than the alternative but i think daryl more is just going to do the same ben simmons thing by the way, he's just going to hold him.
He's not going to play. He's going to hold him.
What you just said is the most demoralizing place to be as a sports fan. I've been there many times.
There's nothing worse in a sports argument than being like he's better than the alternative because in your heart of heart, you know it's not going to work out, but you have to convince yourself some way. So you're like, are we going to do otherwise i've been there it sucks i'm just going and we're going to do the whole ben simmons thing again well it's all the haters out there that are saying james hard isn't staying in great shape this offseason he's going to show up uh looking fat slobbingly looking like maybe he's just been drunk on a boat for the last three months that's bullshit because he's actually working very hard he's in china right now uh releasing his wine collection in china oh and he is on a boat getting drunk oh no in china uh yeah trying to sell his bottles of wine so he is working hard yeah he's working hard oh i remember what my other who's back was uh that lady's rolex in hawaii that rule did you see that no okay so uh a new y York Times reporter tweeted out a picture I gotta find it it's uh so tragedy in Hawaii like I think 80 people died like really really sad stuff and uh this guy tweeted out a picture and a story which I don't I don't blame the woman in the picture because like she her house burned down don't know where she's from, all that stuff.
But again, people died in this tragedy. And he tweeted out, like, all right, found it.
This guy tweeted out, On Friday, Alicia Stratton searched desperately through the wreckage of her Lahana home the rolex watch her parents gave her when she graduated college suddenly her fiance pulled it from the ashes you found it she said choking up it was damaged but still legible and then it's a zoom in picture of her holding the watch and she has a perfect manicure it's while people are like there was deaths and the guy tweeted out about Rolex. That seems like it is she married to revel yeah is that revel's wife that seems like something he would do i don't know i i know a brick watch would have found itself yeah yeah doesn't get burned boxes are back and it is very sad if anyone there's a bunch of gofundmes and stuff uh i donated some you if you could donate it's it's awful tragedy because a lot of people who live in hawaii who are not looking for their rolexes they're looking for their pets or their loved ones and it's a lot different it's like the entire part of the island is just gone yeah yeah so rolex is not really the paramount thing that people should be caring about right now uh okay let's get to our interview deon dawkins uh incredible interview there's a must listen interview for awls he's gonna be a recurring guest awesome awesome interview you know that one sandwich you always crave the one that just hits every single time for me it's a simple yet perfect combination boar's head oven gold turkey sliced thin piled high on fresh sourdough, with sharp cheddar, crisp lettuce, tomato, a little honey mustard, and just a touch of mayo.
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Head to your local Boar's Head deli and experience the craftsmanship behind every bite. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest it is left tackle for the buffalo bills the man who protects josh allen deon dawkins uh thanks for joining us for sure you i've i've read up a lot about you i've heard stories about you you seem like uh a great guy who's got a lot of personality but i i want to start with you protecting Josh Allen.
Yeah. You know how important of a role that is.
I think the role is important in itself. I guess I'm getting credit, but I'm one of five.
So there's a whole unit of us that protect Josh. You know, if you want to look at the blind side, like from the movie and all of that stuff, then yes, I am the left tackle.
I am the blind side. I am the whatever you want to call the hurrah.
But yes, Josh makes it very easy at times and also makes it very hard. Yeah.
So we call it mashing all the buttons when he decides that he's just going to do crazy shit. Right.
From your perspective, when he does that, are you like, wait, dude, we can't protect you if you're going to just start running people over? Josh is a wild card, man. Josh, I fucking hate the kid.
I fucking hate him, bro. I fucking hate him and love him at the same time because Josh gets out of trouble.
Sometimes he's just doing his own thing and he fucking – am I allowed to curse? Yeah. Fuck.
God damn it. Bitch.
Motherfucker. Fuck.
Yeah. God damn it.
Oh, pussy. All right.
No, no, no, no. But Josh makes us all have heart attacks throughout the game over and over and over.

Like when the world is watching and he's running and we're like, all right, here we go.

Like literally the O-line, we look at each other and we're like, it's going to happen.

It's going to happen.

And then he jumps over somebody or he runs through somebody and then he hits the ground.

And we're like, and then he's like, come on, let's go.

And we're like, you're a fucking freak.

You know, like mutant for real, you know? Yeah, he is. You said you'd give up every last finger for him.
I would. You'd kill for him.
I would. Would you die for him? We would.
I'd die. I'd take a bullet for him.
See, let's take a bullet. In my heart.
Yeah. In my brain.
I'd take one in the temple. Right here or on the other side? Right here.
Boom boom would i die for josh allen it's so easy to say yes fuck no oh okay all right no like absolutely i would i would die for him and he's he's done nothing but great things for me and my family and uh i take it personal like i really take it personal yeah like when people do weird shit i'm like bro listen

just calm the fuck down yeah you know but yeah cut off every finger if i had to it would be smart because then you couldn't get called for holding anymore yeah not at all i can't even beat my dick yeah i'll be like this just make it like a hand like a dick hamburger Dick Hamburg

Start nubbing the fuck out of it

You know what I'm saying? That shouldn't be funny as hell. Damn it, Josh.
Start nubbing the shit. Be like, you fucking Josh.
Fuck. Look.
No, for sure. Today's first day of pads.
I got to ask, what do offensive linemen do when you're not wearing pads? What are those practices like? The crazy thing is for the world that's listening now, I think practice is harder without pads than it is with pads. Who? Because it's hard to differentiate from the trenches.
When you're in the trenches, it's physical all of the time. It's just a standard of physical.
Some plays, the defensive lineman hits you and you'll be like, all right, that's a little bit too much. And then the next play, we'll get them.
Be like, boom, all right, see, we just got you back. So it's just like a ping pong thing where it's like, we might as well just put the pads on.
But the first day of pads is always lit. It's always a lot of what I call fuckery.
sits up and down the whole day yeah guys are usually nervous but i take it where it's harder the day before pads than it is because you're thinking about getting into pads you're thinking about being physical right the human body craves contact craves it yeah um static we we uh one of our first guests that we ever had on the show was a guy that you

you played with for a while richie incognito holy shit yeah and so i've heard that you and richie are very close he was my big bro a big help for you when you got here kind of like showed you how to be a professional yeah that sort of thing which is wild to think that richie is like here's how you be a professional knowing what we know about richie what we all know about richie Yeah, yeah.

But you guys are like...

The truth will set you free.

You guys are thick as thieves, right?

As... how you'd be a professional knowing what we know about richie what we all know about richie yeah yeah but you guys are you guys are like you free you guys are thick as thieves right as as as what thick as thieves you ever heard that no you guys are boys that's my dog yeah thick is thick yeah yeah because i i read the story that you're nicknamed the snowman it is uh with because you were shoveling snow when you were growing up and uh that whole story was incredible but you you messed up a game, and Richie Incognito came in the next day and was like, you don't snow shit, like giving you shit.
This is true. When that happened, were you like, uh-oh.
Richie's got his sights on me. Like, you know, a lot of people were scared of the dude.
I seen right through Richie. I was like, you're a softie.
You're a good dude, but you're a softie and you care. That's why you're saying that.
So yeah, that definitely happened. He definitely came in and was like, you don't know shit.
You blonde haired motherfucker, like all type of stuff. And yeah, but that's definitely how that bond connected though.
Cause once I was like, you know what? I like you, you know, like I can rock with it. And he's been real ever since.
I've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, and the good. Yeah.
So your story is incredible because from everything I read, there was definitely like a moment where your life could have gone one of two ways. I read the story and there was a stealing phase is what you you called it yourself like you were just stealing stuff bikes everything everything that obviously don't steal but calling it a stealing phase kind of rocks um but like what what was that like light bulb that went off where you're like all right this is i gotta stop doing this like i have real talent i have real things that i can contribute to the world change.
Yeah. I went through a phase in college, too.
I wound up getting arrested in college for fighting. Defending your teammate.
Defending my teammate. I read all about it.
For sure. That was a ride or die move.
It was. Yeah.
And at that moment, I said, like, you know what? I really just need to kind of stay in the house until I, you know,

cross this threshold.

Cause I've always been, been told like, you know, like Dion,

like you're a bigger guy, like you're really freakishly athletic,

like your calves are humongous and, and all these like weird things.

And I'm like, all right, bro,

like you probably are just a coach just trying to brainwash me and just tell

me just so I can fit through your program of system.

And after that and situation at Temple, I was like bruh, I could be a millionaire in three years. Like a lot of kids are walking around campus thinking that like, oh man, like I'm at Alabama, bro.
It is the best thing in life. But I had realized, I was like, bruh, this is so fake life.
Like we're on a full scholarship. We eat and for free, our clothes are for free.
We get stipends and we're on campus with a bunch of girls and dudes and everybody just in this one giant mosh pit. And it's like, this is not real.
So I realized that it wasn't real. It was more so like a fake life, how I seen it.
And I was like, if I could just, you know, take a step back from all of this and just get what I have to get done, life will be way more funner after this yeah life you know yeah i mean it's a great story it's you know a lot of people being open about like the things they went through i think it's it's great for people to read about and be like yeah this is people have two paths in life you were literally looking down the other path and chose the the one that got you here for sure multiple times yeah i'm thankful for the people what i had in my corner like i'm really thankful for coach rule because you know like a lot of people like want to go to them giant schools right like everybody wants to go to alabama and wants to go to auburn and texas and tennessee bro if i would have went to one of those schools i would not be here today right because there's so many kids that they could replace it would have have been over with. At Temple, it was like, oh, Deion is really kind of all we got.
So we got to ride with him. So I was thankful for it.
You know, like it comes at a time and a place where, you know, you have to think about are you a problem child or could there potentially be a problem? And if there is, are you going to be in the right situation and have the right people to, you know, back you? Yeah. place is buffalo too buffalo is a great spot like do you like do you like the cold weather games you know i prefer the cold weather games over the hot ones that's the correct answer from a lineman yeah that miami game was probably pretty tough no it was the hardest game ever you know it was it was a it was a moment in my career where i was like what the fuck am i doing like this is the type of shit that can really kill you it was a moment in my career where i was like what the fuck am i doing like like like this is the type of shit like that can like really like kill you like it was so hot i think there was only two offensive linemen that finished that game and it was me and roger saffo and if he would have went down i think that my brain would have told me you need need to go down too.
Yeah. Something happens.

But Josh kept kicking and I was like, bro, I don't know how we're doing this.

I felt like I wasn't even there, bro. It was just like every play, it was just like just breathing and just grabbing.

So if there was holds, there was probably a shit ton of them and they didn't call them

because I was out of it.

It was scary.

Yeah.

We were at that game, the Monday night game that you guys had up here against the Patriots a couple years ago. The cold game.
The cold game, yeah. That seemed like a game that it might have been fun to be an offensive lineman.
It was freezing, but it was fun. Yeah.
It wasn't that cold. We were at the game.
No, it was freaking me. I took my shirt off.
Yeah, I did too. No, it was pretty cool.
We were in the sweet. It wasn't that cold, but sweet.
Yeah, sweet life. It's 72 degrees.
It makes a lot of sense. Everyone's like, it's so cold.
They're like, we're fine. It's actually warm.
I had to take off my jacket. Do you want a beer? Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Right.
Watching you guys just out there just having to deal with all that shit. Man, that was a crazy game.
I liked it. I enjoyed it.
But the worst part about it, wait, was that? No, so I'm thinking about the Dolphins game, like when it was snowing. They were they were throwing snowballs yeah that one was wasn't as cold i think the patriots was probably the coldest game of the year no the bears we played the bears in chicago yes now that was the coldest game we had the hottest game of the year and then to come back and play the coldest game did you go to the bar after with the team we got stuck there right yeah yeah yeah we went to the bar yeah definitely you want to thank me that that was you yeah wait was it the bar was it the strip club it was the bar not the strip club i don't want to get in trouble well fuck everybody was watching we were at the strip club at the titties what's the strip club look like on christmas eve it was a bunch of shit it was horrible but it but it was like probably all of six or seven girls there.
They were all like fucking threes. It's Christmas Eve.
Yeah, it's tough. They were all threes.
It's tough. And it was just like, here, take $20.
Yeah. But I was the bar.
Facts. So I got that.
Perfect. I was for a moment there.
Oh, yeah. We went to the bar first, and then, yeah, I'm such a fan.
If you guys win the Super Bowl, maybe I'll get interviewed on NFL films.

I was like, this is the moment that your team came together.

It was.

And then DeMar Hamlin happened like a week later.

Also a tragic situation.

Yeah, so I think that might have brought you guys together more.

Right.

But the strip club was definitely.

No, it wasn't the strip club.

I got to say.

DeMar, strip club, DeMar.

It was like a combination of.

It was a trifecta. The trifecta.
We're all're all in there to win you know the trifecta the titties definitely took us there i i i never seen some of my guys you know what i'm saying all right so you i when i when we said uh we wanted to interview you were like deon doggins everything i've heard he's authentically him. Is like Sean McDermott, we've had him on a couple times.
We just interviewed him. Does he let guys just be themselves? Because I think that is such a great sign for a coach.
You see me? Yeah. I am a nut, bro.
I am a wild card. He allows me to be a wild card.
Yeah. So I appreciate him.
He does let you be yourself. But it comes with what it comes with, right? If you're just yourself and you're not performing and you're just a slap, then it doesn't work.
You have to stack your chips and then handle your business and then let yourself show.

I was myself from the jump, but I really came out with who I truly was once I started to, like, you know, put my part in, like, to this team. Like, I wasn't just like, hey, what's up? You already snowed, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like, nah, hold on. Slow it down.
You already snowed with your boy. And then came through.
And then it was like, you already snowed with your boy. And then it just got already up, blah, blah, blah.
It just got up it just got bigger and bigger but like you can show yourself let that be known that you got personality then put the work in on like on the field yeah and then slowly slowly you know just jab your like your snow shit around the world yeah you know i love it the snow goes on the snow goes on i i love your quote about macaroni and cheese, too. Stir that joint up.
Yeah. Stir it up.
Keep stirring it. It's just like, you feel me? It's like an engine.
Yeah. Cheese or truck.
They put it on the side of a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese, right? They did. Like, stir it up, stir it up, make it wet.
Make it wet. That's probably why, like, yeah, Kraft knew, you know? Just keep it nice, it nice wet and juicy you know what I'm saying like we've all been there like on a quick day in the afternoon like with the Kraft box it takes like five minutes or less boil the water put the noodles in like like in there a little shot of milk put the little powdered nasty ass cheese makes that joint up like this.
It should start going. It start making hella noise.
Takes us to different places, but as a kid, like, you were lit. You know, you joke about it, put your finger in there, lick it a little bit.
Nice way and juicy. You're like a soundboard.
This is great. Yeah.
Do you do any impressions of the guys on the team? Nah. Yeah.
Skip. Yeah, the running back coach.
A little bit. You want to hear it a little bit? Yeah.
So Skip, like every year we have a meeting, and his job is to, you know, work the security of the ball. Right.
So he'll he's real short, real, real short, ball headed dude, probably like all the five foot tall, you know. And he walks up in the front.
He's like, what's up, guys? You know what I'm saying? And then he holds and a ball here and he's like, yeah, you got to work the five points of pressure of the ball. And I mean of the ball.
And then he just – and then he goes like – he's like, yeah. And then when you double in trouble, never toss the ball from here to here.
You just got to hold the ball like this, right? Just like this. And it's just, you know, and he flows, but yeah.
I like it. I don't even know the guy, but that was a good impression.
Yeah, that was perfect. That was perfect.
what's up guys you know what I'm saying yeah I'm Skip what's up yeah what's up you listen to him when he talks about ball security because you catch passes I do two touchdowns I do have two teddies yeah no big deal I want to break the record what's the record I think it's six if I'm correct I think it's Donald Penn if I'm correct you can do it I think more offensive linemen should actually do celebrations after a good play, like when they make a good block. Yeah, pancake block.
They don't let us do shit, bro. But you can do it in the end zone when you score, but you can't do it after a good block.
See, I think it'll be funner on the line of scrimmage. Like, imagine if you cleaned somebody out on a pool or something like that, and you can just do like a Jeff Hardy, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like something cool.
That's what I'm saying. We can't do that.
Personal taunting. You know, like let us live.
You know what I'm saying? You don't get no shine. You knock the guy out and they're like flag for making him feel bad.
Facts. You stood over him.
Like, duh, he's on the ground. What do you mean? I put him there.
What the fuck is there? Like, that's what the game is, right? You know, like. See, like, I be, like, trying to tell people, right? Like, football is, like, everybody wants their team to win.
Oh, we're going to go to the Super Bowl. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like, everybody, right? It's entertainment, though. It's entertainment, right? Like, football is entertainment.
We are at work. But, like, I think that at a point, multiple people should be able to be eligible, right? Like, imagine if the center could, like, block and then come out and catch a pass.
Yeah, make it fun. Or, like, if a left tackle could be in the middle of a pass pro and be like, oh, and then turn.
Or, like, you know, dope. Yeah, that would be.
NFL is the NFL. Well, Deion, this has been awesome.
I know you have a meeting you got to go to. I don't want you to be late because you'll probably get in trouble.
Just tell them that it was us. Yeah, tell them that it was us.
Yes and time. Yeah, but yeah.
I had everyone pointing to me being like, Deion's got to be late. You just tell Sean McDermott that you're with us I would take this charge I would take this warning so you guys have as much time as you want the guys in the back are freaking out what the fuck I would take this charge what's the fine for being late to a meeting first one is just a warning okay you haven't gotten a warning yet zero okay stay one of pads this is this is like you giving you take this is something that okay it's worth it all right well i have one last question it's a roback question rhoback.com use promo code take 20 off first purchase i'm wearing the shorts right now q-zips polos hoodies shorts uh everything uh roback.com the best in the biz What's it like being back in the dorms? Is it weird? Not at all, bro.
Really? You like it? Bro, I was a guy, you know? So, like, going back, like, to the dorms, it just brings me back to all the fuckery that goes on. But here, they make it so elite because, like, you would think that we're all on twin-size beds, but we're not.
Like, we kings some nice they feel like like california kings like i'd be stretched you know and the room is is smaller so it's ice cold in there you got your own little shitter like you're good that's perfect josh made it seem like you guys were in prison he was trying to like show off how gritty he was i mean josh josh makes 250 million like yeah it's just shitty for him you know what i'm saying golden toilets and uh jumping over guys you know he gets to see himself with holograms i mean you make a good amount of money you make it what is it 60 million you signed for i i got some bread when you ink that was it i mean was it everything that you ever dreamed of and more it was yes i like i can't yes it was a life-changing experience just from a pen, you know, like just once that pen, when you finish your signature, boom, that money is there, you know, but you enjoy it in the moment. And then when you have it, it kind of puts like a huge amount of stress on you.
Like, holy fuck, like I'm the guy now. Like I can't fuck up.
I'm the guy. Dion's supposed to be this, this, this, this, this.
And then you kind of just settle in. And then you chase another one.
Yeah. Is that weird? I always think that that would be weird if you're a professional athlete and everybody out there knows what your salary is.
It's dumb. Yeah.
But I guess like in the athletic world, like it separates players.. But I just think it would be fair if everybody's shit was on display.
I want to know what the coach makes. I want to know what the GM makes.
I want to know what the coaches make, like our individual coaches. I want to know what the strength coach makes.
I want to know everything. We make $75,000 an episode.
I was going to say it's actually $80,000 now. $80,000.
And three bored apes. Yeah, three bored apes.
And what? Three bored apes, the NFTs. Oh, wow.
Yeah, we get that paid every single episode. Yeah, that's fire.
I'm stacking apes. It's sick.
So what do you guys do? This, this. What's your cash? Oh, my cash? We get $75,000 in a bag handed to us after every episode.
Are you asking, where do we invest we invest it? Like, what do you do with it? Well, yeah, I guess invest it, but do you guys do anything fun? I turn it into more apes. Pretty soon I'm going to have all the apes.
You're just an ape slayer. Yeah, I'm going to be an ape monopoly.
It's going to be amazing. I'm on the board of apes.
I don't really spend a lot of money.. What kind of car you drive? Dog food.
Mercedes. What kind of Mercedes? GLS 450.
Nice. What about you? I got a Jeep Wrangler.
4xE. How big are your tires? They're 24s.
Okay. So I guess the car.
Nice. But everything else is just like, yeah, I just, I try to make enough money that I can lose at gambling.
Facts. Yeah, it's a nice life.
All right, well, Dion, recurring guest now so we got to have you back on appreciate you're the best i when we saw this interview we're like this we're gonna rule love bro so yeah yeah you're coming back for everything sure thanks man appreciate it dion dawkins was brought to you by verizon i'm a verizon customer i've got verizon right here on my phone football back. And this season, Verizon is making sure that football fans everywhere have a great plan to watch all the Sunday afternoon out-of-market games.
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Shout out, Verizon. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
We're doing the Mount Rushmore of things that are not real in honor of Tiffany Gomez, plane lady, who finally emerged after months of not being around. I don't know.
She made a really weird video. I thought it was a great video.
Well, yeah, she looked great in it. She apologized.
No apology necessary. Listen, if you in your heart of hearts believe that there's somebody who's a not real motherfucker on a plane, you should say something.
If you see something, say something. Right.
If there's a reptilian on the plane, I want to know. I find it interesting that we haven't gotten the other camera angle to show exactly who she was pointing at.
Right. We don't know.
We don't know. She might be right.
In fact, I think she is right. I've reached out to her.
I said, hey, Tiffany, big fan. Let's take a stand together versus online bullying because she's bullied over there yeah she's been bullied over getting kicked off an airplane and delaying a flight for a couple hundred people whatever who amongst us hasn't done that and so I invite her care to come on part of my take and discuss love it I also uh I'm of the belief she delayed that flight she saved all their lives something would have happened yeah if it had gone off as planned you never know the domino theory right butterfly effect so tiffany gomez you're our queen um yeah i like her a lot as a person i think she's really smart yeah right i i like her brain i do too she's she's just something about her.
I really like her.

I feel like I can trust her.

I like her more than a friend.

I can trust her.

You get a sense when you look at somebody whether or not you like her, and I'm looking at her.

And I like her.

I like her a lot.

Okay, so Mount Rushmore, things that are not real.

She's also so strong.

So strong.

She's strong.

She's very strong. You can see her traps.

That's a strong woman.

You don't wear that type of cut shirt if you're not strong. She's strong she's very you can see her trap that's a strong woman you don't wear that type of cut shirt if you're not strong she's strong uh okay mount rushmore things that are not real what's the updated uh stay count pfc with 23 and the rest of the team's tied with 21 all right it's getting tight i think there's nine times right three weeks we're ending right Three weeks.
Yes. Three weeks left.
Nine left. Okay.
Who's up?

The order is hank and max become pft me billy okay so hank is not here so it's just max hank is freaking out are you putting him on speakerphone do you want me to yeah all right if he'll pick up no he oh he he's texted me five times during this recording asking if I'm cooking. Okay.

Okay. No, he's texted me five times during this recording asking if I'm cooking.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

I'm FaceTiming him.

Hank's on vacation for anyone who didn't realize, but that was assumed.

Anytime he's not here, it's vacation.

I just also want to say that with Tiffany Gomez, I would like her to be in person.

I think it'd be a better interview if she was in person.

And maybe over dinner.

We'll do our first dinner.

Yeah, we'll just talk about it.

All right, here's Hank.

All right, here's Hank.

Okay, Hank's there.

Hank.

Hey, Hank.

Can you hear them, Hank?

He's...

All right, he's not saying anything.

I think he legitimately just wants to listen.

Okay. All right, well, Hank's listening, being a creep.
I was going to ask Hank's thoughts on Tiffany Gomez as a person. Hank, what are your thoughts on Tiffany Gomez as a person? Nothing.
Wow. Yeah, we got nothing.
Hank wouldn't smash. Put it out.
Put it out. Hank would pass.
Wow. All right, more for us.
Okay. 1-1.
Wood. Okay.
Oh, he said wood. All right.
Please update all the press releases and change it. Hank would smash.
1-1. Birds.
Not real. Birds.
All right. A little unoriginal, but that's fine.
All right. That's what this is about.
So go off on that. What do you mean that birds aren't real? Birds aren't real.
They're a government plant. So you're just reading this guy's website now? And I mean, there was a whole movement about it.
Yeah. Have you ever seen a bunch of birds go on to- Yeah, it was satire.
It was satire. Yeah.
Birds aren't real. Have you ever seen them on telephone wires? That's them charging.
I kind of like that part. That's them charging.
That is the best thing if I'm on a road trip. That's something that I will always say.
If you see birds on a little cable line, it's like, oh, yeah, that's them charging. Okay.
Okay. You've never seen a baby pigeon, right? Oh, wait.
I think Hank's trying to say something. You've never seen a baby bird? You've never seen a baby bird? I've seen lots of baby birds.
I've seen so many baby birds. Lori Markkinen.
There's tons of baby birds. No, you've never seen one.
Okay. R11 is easy.
So easy. Should we say it at the same time? Yeah.
Three, two, one. The female orgasm.
Not real. Not real.
Not real. Big orgasm has been lying to you guys.
Girls don't come. They don't.
And to pretend that they do is a slap in our face. They just do it because they like to make us feel bad for coming too quick.
Right. Exactly.
They can do the whole moans and everything, but let's be honest. Let's get real honest here.
That's just not real. Guys come.
Girls don't. Yeah, it was probably a clitoris sitting in the back row of that airplane.
That's not real. Yeah, right.
I'm out of here. Exactly.
Exactly. And they make you feel bad about the whole non-orgasm thing, but really they're just doing that knowing that in their heart of hearts there is no female orgasm.
It just doesn't exist. And squ pee we got it on our list well Mr.
Positions you probably if anyone can crack the case you're Oppenheimer put him in a lab in New Mexico Mr. Positions will find a female orgasm Okay.
Is Billy contributing anymore?

Yeah.

Oh, he is.

He's active in the group chat.

Nice.

Yeah.

Did he have birds?

Yes.

Okay.

That was...

Actually, no, that was Meme's recommendation.

Ugh.

Okay.

We're going to go with Manti Teo's girlfriend.

Okay.

Good pick. Not real.
Good pick. We did not Manti Teo's girlfriend.
Okay.

Good pick.

Not real.

Good pick.

We did not have that. That was Billy.

Yeah.

It's a great pick.

Good pick.

But actually.

It was real to him.

She was real.

She was just a he.

Yeah.

Saying that.

Yeah.

No.

I mean, technically, he was talking to a person.

That is true.

But Manti Teo's girlfriend.

It was not Lene Kakua.

Yes.

Correct.

And then we're going to go with the moon landing.

Oh, okay.

Not real.

Interesting.

Dallas Goddard.

You want anything else on that?

Jay, do you believe the moon landing is real?

I don't know.

I think so.

But you just took it in things that aren't real. Because it's things that people wouldn't think aren't real.
Okay. All right.
Interesting. I think we go with two, PFT.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Go ahead.
Do it. All right.
Number two on this list. The in-stadium mile-per-hour numbers for pitchers on the home team.
Not real. Not real.
It's always like five miles per hour higher than they really are. There's no chance that's real.
Cannot. Stadium MPH for the home team.
Yeah. Yep.
As a side pick, StatCast is not real as well. For home team pitchers.
Yep. Yep.
Okay. The stadium MPH for home team pitchers.
good yeah so us yeah uh first one we're gonna go

with uh women pooping oh okay not real not real they don't do it or come yep yep got it this is a big women aren't real yeah well except tiffany yeah yeah she's real um she can poop on me and then And the next one, really the OG conspiracy, Tupac's death.

Oh.

Not real.

Oh.

I like that.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.
Interesting. Is Hank listening to this? Yes, he's listening.
Okay. We're sending some texts.
Okay, because I have a third. I think we should go.
Now we unleash it. Okay, things that are not real.

Henry Lockwood's resume when applying to Barstool Sports.

Okay.

Hank?

I guess that'll take down the anonymous.

What does that even mean?

What do you mean what does that mean?

I have it right here.

First of all, Hank, when is your birthday?

June 13th.

Okay, so on June 13th 13th 2013 how old were you 19 okay so on your resume it was dated May 15th 2013 and he wrote I'm a 20 year old stoolie through and through he also spelled the word guarantee G-A-R-U-N-T-E-E. And then we get to the brass tacks here.
He says, more importantly, I am soon to be graduating from Boston University Center for Digital Imaging Arts. Is that university real? It was.
Yeah, it's not real anymore. And then he says, what does this mean for you and your campaign? It means that I have the skills, the equipment, and the manpower necessary to write, produce, and edit any kind of video you can possibly imagine or want to get made in any location at any time and make it look professional for free.
Hank, how much? Those are all facts. No, they are not.
How much equipment did you have? I had unlimited equipment. From where? From where? The Boston University Center for Digital.
That wasn't real. Yes, it was.
No, it doesn't. You can't find it right now.
He goes on to basically... Hank, I'm curious.
It's Northwestern. We got unaccredited.
No, no. Northwestern still exists.
This place doesn't exist. Hank, would you say that you had all the manpower necessary? How much manpower did you have? Yeah, me.
I'm also trained and experienced in motion graphics. Is that true? Is that video? Does that just mean videos? Color correction to ensure the quality of the video is top notch.
Everyone can go watch the combine video. This is where all of these skills were on display.
And then he finally says at the end, this part is real. Part of it is real.
I'm attaching my demo reel that I give to the corporations. How corporations did you give it to uh the museum of science when applying at their companies as well as my resume and my gronk the world video i made before i went to film school along with the buddies my buddies that shows deep down i'm just a movie junkie stoolie and let loves to smash it um yeah that wasn't real.
The Gronk the World video was so real. That part was real, but everything else was just a lie on this resume.
That's a terrible pick, but that's fine. No, it's a great pick because you know.
I mean, everything, whatever, it's a terrible pick. You did not have the manpower.
He had unlimited manpower. Unlimited manpower and all to produce and edit any kind of video you can possibly imagine

or want to get made in any location at any time and make it look professional for free.

Hank, that's fact.

Okay.

All right.

That's our pick.

Good pick.

Henry Lockwood's resume when applying to Barstool Sports.

Yes. As a 19-year-old saying he's 20.
Guaranteed. Okay.
Our last two. We're first going to go with the 2020 NBA Bubble Championship.
Oh, good pick. That's a good pick.
Good pick. Was that you, Jake? That was memes.
Good pick memes memes. Good pick.
Yeah, I mean, everyone talks about Mickey Mouse. Yeah, no, it's not real.
Didn't happen. Do you guys think you'd be saying it if LeBron didn't win? No.
No, not at all. Absolutely not.
First time, Jake? First time here in the show? Welcome, Jake. Yeah, if your teams won it, you'd be saying.
Oh, yeah. Nine percent.
It's the hardest championship ever.

We'd make a bigger banner.

Who won the?

Yeah.

What is Hank saying?

Are you saying something, Hank?

Okay.

This just shows that Hank does not trust you whatsoever.

No, he does.

He's been tweeting.

We're good.

We're good.

He's letting me cook.

Okay. All right.
Our final pick uh epstein killing himself okay okay good pick billy okay good no memes oh yeah okay this is a time right up billy's alley is helping you shouldn't get memes too okay so yeah i didn't know billy was still helping it should just be you and billy okay no more memes you, memes. I mean, memes was supposed to be in place of Billy.
I thought it wasn't. Well, I think we put memes on the team with the understanding that Billy would probably not.
Yeah, right. If Billy doesn't contribute, you can ask memes.
If he does, go with Billy. Like, if I ask Billy and he ghosts me, then I can.
Correct. Yeah, that's correct.
That's correct. Fair.
All right, PFT, what do we want to do? I like 14.

14's great.

14, four.

Let's go 14.

Okay.

McDonald's fries, calories when eating them in the car.

Those aren't real.

Not even real food.

Don't count. At all.

Especially the bottom of the bag, the extra fries.

And double especially as you're driving.

Yes.

Yes.

I was thinking of just saying like calories overall. Calories are fake.
Right. Right.
But these especially. Like you get a side fry for the car.
That doesn't count. Like if you ate a side fry, it's kind of like going to like Costco or Sam's Club.
If you get a bunch of the free samples and then you walk out, you're like, yeah't eaten anything today that doesn't count if you have you can also have the fries like in your garage after you get home and you're waiting to go in the house it's very similar to eating anything at your kitchen counter standing up yeah those aren't or in front of the fridge in front of the fridge yeah you're just not yeah tony sobrenatio never ate a cold cut in his life right right if you ask me like did you eat today i actually didn't eat anything if the fridge is still open yeah still open then there's no calories there's a great scene the sopranos where i think tony is he's getting broken up with carmelo like divorces him says like i'm moving out and tony's at the fridge and he just goes back to eating the cold cuts but like sadly at the fridge Yeah.. Just divorce cold cuts.
Yeah. All right, your last pick.
Taxes. Oh.
Okay, disavow. Yeah.
I'm going to disagree with that one. I pay extra taxes.
Yeah, but they're not real. You guys had a good draft going in that one.
That might have fucked you. Yeah.
Actually, no. I think Jake had the best draft.
Jake had a good one. Our team.
Yeah. Well, memes.
No. Memes had the best draft.
Memes three of the four were Billy's. It'd be a real shame if you tagged the IRS in this graphic.
I think two of the four. Mm-hmm.
Actually, Birds was a bad pick. That's just...
What do you mean? That's like the most internet thing of all time. Right.
Go Birds. You're a fucking Eagles fan.
Oh, wow. Yeah, you can't say Go Birds.
Not real. You can't say go birds.
Yes, I can. No, the birds are fraudulent.
No, I can say go birds. Go fakes.
I have a. All right.
So let's do honorable mentions. I have some honorable mentions.
Do you have ones that Hank wouldn't let you say? No. Yes, you do.
I have a spicy one that doesn't make any sense, but I'll just say it. I don't think shark attacks are real.
Well, they're very rare. I just don't think they're real.
They're very rare. I think someone hits their leg on a coral reef or something.
Sharks have a great marketing team where every time there's two shark attacks a year, and then it's just national news. I don't believe them.
I don't believe them. I do not think they're real.
I think someone's a bad swimmer.

There's definitely AWLs who have been bitten by a shark.

Okay, you're a bad swimmer.

I would love to get bitten by a shark.

If you're an AWL bitten by a shark, tag me in your story.

And you're proof.

It's fake what happened.

You probably stubbed your toe and then overreacted.

Can you imagine how sick that would be, though, for the rest of your life?

You're in a bar.

You're wearing shorts.

You've got just a bite mark on your calf. It'd be amazing.
Yeah, but it's not real. I said it was a hot take.
Alright, Max, give us the ones that you... I really wanted to do today's version of Avril Lavigne.
Oh, good pick. Hank also...
Wind was another one that probably wouldn't have looked good on a graphic, but.... Demar Hamlin.
Yeah. Demar Hamlin.
Not, not real. Hank liked money.
Okay. Money and taxes.
Both not real. Oh, a good one actually would have been Bitcoin.
That shit's not real. Hank's low key.
Right about, about money. Not being real though.
He said, you said you just spend it. Yeah.
I want Hank to be the fucking, just give us the econ class one day.

Maybe next time.

Put a reminder in.

Hank's econ class, July 26th, 2024.

That's Friday.

Thursday, 25th.

Yep.

Perfect.

Hank's econ class.

I want him to just sit us down.

What's the context when we forget about this?

No, just Hank teaches us about the economy.

Hank teaches all his thoughts on the economy.

Okay.

Hank teaches us an econ class.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

I had aircraft carriers.

Yep.

They weigh over 220 million pounds and they float somehow.

And we're supposed to believe this.

Yep.

They've got, you land airplanes on them and they float. Similar to i had clouds clouds being one billion pounds that's not real that's a total weight for every cloud for an average cloud an average fully grown cloud an average cloud weighs a billion not a wonder franco cloud an average adult cloud hank just texted me flying whales flying oh flying whales across the country yeah across the country.
Oh, okay. I was thinking of like whales with wings.
We're always reminded of this. The yellow line.
Watching a football game. The yellow line.
It's not real. Not official.
Not official. Yeah, the yellow line.
Emmitt Smith, when he played for the Cardinals, that never happened. The other one is Jerry Rice for the Seahawks.
That definitely never happened. Andre Johnson played for the Titans.
Yeah, that didn't happen. That did not happen.
That one's crazy. Who did T.O.
play for at the end? He played on the Bengals and the Bills. He played on the Niners? No, well, he played on the Niners.
Oh, yeah. He was good on the Niners.
He was okay on the Bills, I think. The Bengals was the weird one.
The Bengals was very weird. Seahawks.
I had a weird stat. Practice God.
Larry Fitzgerald has more tackles than drop passes. It's unreal.
That's crazy. LeBron playing 20-plus seasons in the NBA without a significant injury.
That's just interesting. That's not real.
That's interesting. That is not real.
That's not God-given. That's not real.
Any others? Magic eye posters. Magic eye posters are not real.
I lied for so long and said that I could see him. I'd be like, oh yeah, I see the giraffe.
Never seen a magic eye in my life. Nope.
Nope. Max, you have others? Nope.
I think that's it. Okay.
This is a fun one. Shohei Otani.
Yeah. Not real.
Not real. Not real.
Patrick Mahomes. Yeah.
Any time an athlete does something insane, that's not real life. Yeah.
Hank, would you like to keep listening or? Hank? I think he checked out. Yeah.
He's putting in overtime. Yeah.
He's got an umbrella in his drink sitting back right now. I think Hank's got one of those apps on his phone where it disconnects him if he works for too long.
It's like the screen time app, but for any sort of like actual employment type responsibility that he's doing. Tiger Woods just entire career is not real.
It's very unreal. That's that one stretch that he had was like 144 tournaments without missing a cut.
It's fucking insane. Yeah, there's some weird stats out there that are very unreal.
You just look at them, you're like, how is this fucking possible? Barry Bond stats. Barry Bond stats.
There's a lot of those, yeah. Tony Gwynn stats.
Those are all unreal. Okay, good Mount Rushmore.
Oh, Doc Ellis throwing a no-hitter on acid? Yes. That's crazy.
That Yes That's crazy That's crazy unreal Yes That might be the most impressive athletic feat of all time Didn't he have like 11 walks He walked a shitload of people Because he was tripping balls at the time I know Because if he had thrown a perfect game I'd be like that didn't happen Yeah But the fact that he threw in It's like Nolan Ryan's no hitters He's got so many of them Because he would rather walk a guy than throw him like a meatball down the middle of the plate. I'm going to look up Doc Ellis' no hitter.
Will Chamberlain's sex numbers. Yeah, that is unreal.
Yeah, there's no way. There's no way.
All right, Doc Ellis, no hitter. How many walks? God, it's so hard to find old baseball stats.

Eight walks.

Yeah.

That's perfect.

Solid no-hitter.

Yeah, that's so wild.

Eight walks.

That's way more impressive than, I don't know,

some guy that just gets traded to your team throwing a no-hitter.

The game four of the World Series.

Not real.

Oh, no-hitter?

It wasn't real. That wouldn't do well with votes.
That's just a huge thing. Yeah, well, that should be mentioned at least.
At least should be mentioned. That wasn't real.
That wasn't a real no hitter. So you guys won that game? No, but it wasn't a real no hitter.
Just said combined no hitters. Yeah, combined no hitters should be a different stat.
Oh, if we wanted to do sports memories, the Eagles players saying they got a piece of Cody Parkey's football, blocked it. That's not real.
I saw that going viral on TikTok recently. It was just like the last three minutes.
Jesus Christ. This always does.
Okay. Let's finish up with some Johnny Manziel.
We watched the documentary. Yeah, it was good.
I liked it. It was very good.
I had memory hold a lot of all that stuff that went on with him. Yeah.
So it starts out in Scottsdale. And the first thing that you see is Johnny Menzel drinking a beer.
Yeah. And then that's also how it ends to Jake spoiled that for us last time.
Spoiler. Yeah, but Johnny, when he was at College Station,

it's kind of crazy to think that he did not get recruited really to Texas,

but that was in the Mack Brown heyday where they had in Texas,

I think over the course of three seasons, they had Johnny Manziel, Robert Griffin, and Andrew Luck. And Mack Brown did not offer any of them a scholarship.
I think Mack Brown offered Johnny Manziel and Robert Griffin to play at Texas as safeties, not as quarterbacks. The part about his high school was crazy because I didn't know all that.
But his senior year, he had 75 touchdowns in 12 games. Yeah.
And because of blowouts, he only played full four total games for like four games to the end. Like I went and looked back at his entire high school career.
He had 127 touchdowns in 26 games his junior and senior year. 4.8 touchdowns a game.
Yeah, that must have been so much fun. It was probably so much fun for him.
And then his goal when he was in high school, he just wanted to play college football. Yeah, he wasn't looking past that.
So he was like, I just want to want to play at a big time school, have fun playing football with my friends in college, and then anything past that he didn't really consider. But his freshman year at A&M was just fucking insane.
That was A&M's first season in the SEC, right? Yeah, it was insane. Insane, crazy season.
I had forgotten just how quickly it all happened because freshman winning the Heisman had never been done.

The Bama game, which was perfect that we had the Mark May.

I wish we still had him on TV.

I'm like, there is 0% chance Texas A&M could win this game.

And then Johnny Menzel goes to Tuscaloosa as 14-point underdogs,

wins that game, and it was like everything from that moment on,

his life completely changed.

It did make me feel a little bad about how much it's thankfully the nil exists now but like the whole part about him and uncle nate his friend nate who that was sad that they don't talk yeah nate seemed like a ride or die dude yeah also nate being like we had a saying at texas a&m win or lose we still booze like i think that's a saying everywhere. No, they invented that and started there.
That was very funny. But it made me feel really bad watching Johnny Menzel explain it and it is complete bullshit.
How much money? They built an entire new stadium. They were selling millions and millions off his name, image, and likeness and he was getting zero dollars.
And they i watched the documentary and i didn't i that was the first time i had learned that his dad wasn't oil rich yeah that was a great great story that they planted how did no journalists look into that yeah so at the time johnny was taking like private jets all across the country he was sitting courtside at nba games he was everywhere and everybody was like how come johnny manziel is able to afford to do all this stuff and they were just like we're gonna tell we're gonna leak to the media that his dad's rich as fuck and that he grew up with this money and then everybody was just like oh yeah that makes sense so john manziel is just independently wealthy no he's making a shitload of money signing autographs and it is like the definition of a victimless crime yeah it's not even a crime like the ncaa and you see what's going on with harbaugh right now the ncaa much like the nfl at least used to do this they think that they are a branch of law enforcement they didn't break any laws yeah manziel didn't break any laws he just broke a bunch of bullshit rules yeah i mean you could obviously get him on the taxes and all right who taxes aren't real not real a&m i think they they made over 700 million dollars in donations after his freshman year which is almost twice as much as they've ever raised in one season so you could say johnny manzel probably directly responsible for about 350 million dollars worth of gifts to texas a&m and making their like entire introduction the sec work yes and he got paid zero dollars off that and of course he's going to find some way on the side to make a little bit of money, and then they just stonewalled everybody, and he got to spend for, what is it, one quarter or two quarters against Rice, and that was his punishment, which is a very funny punishment. But you brought up Mark May and being able to watch those guys on TV, that was such a treat back in the day.
Mark May and Lou Holtz. It was like watching two dogs with a debilitative brain injury just barking in different languages and spitting on each other.
It's the best. And they never made a lick of sense with anything that they said.
Probably set the record for being the wrongest that anybody will ever be on TV. And they did it on a weekly basis for like, I don't know, 15 years.

It was great TV.

And it was great TV.

Great TV.

But yeah, the whole thing was, I mean, just watching it from his angle,

obviously the Browns chapter, there was some self-sabotage,

which he admitted to like the zero minutes watching tape.

But yeah, the Texas A&M part, like just how quickly it happened and how like he just couldn't even go out of his house and the expectations on him and he couldn't make any money all that stuff was just insane to watch because i i had memory hold a lot of it as well yeah like he was he was one of the most defining like fun athletes to watch in college football history. He was like the anti Tebow too.
Yeah. We were just getting over Tebow being like, you know, captain America at, at Florida.
And that was like the standard that you set for, okay, this is what a great college quarterback looks like right now. And then Johnny Manziel comes in, does everything completely like 180 degrees different from Tebow.
He was like the bad boy. He was fun to root for.
And then like, like I said earlier, he never thought about going to the NFL, so he gets to the NFL. It's not fun anymore.
Not enjoying anything. Doesn't really work.
In fact, the only play that I really remember of Johnny on the Browns is the play that he ran with Kyle Shanahan, where Kyle Shanahan was screaming at him on the field like Johnny forgot to play, calls him over to the sidelines, and then runs him down the field as a receiver. But that play didn't count on foot, but it was an awesome play.
It was an awesome play. I forgot also about him going to Vegas and getting dressed up in a disguise.
That was an all-time mistake. I didn't know the Combine story.
His dad having to pretend that he was in the hospital was crazy. It's crazy.
And it did get dark for a minute there because, like, him saying it, like, I was going to just live. Because I remember that when he had got cut by the Browns and then he was just on TMZ basically every single day, Johnny Menzel going out partying.
Like, hearing it from his side was like, I was going to just go as hard as I could and then kill myself. Yeah.
It was pretty – I pretty I mean I'm happy that he's alive I'm happy that he's still here and he really is like one of the most iconic college football players of all time you beat the Drake curse he beat the Drake curse the last thing I had of the did you see the list that he made when they sat down it was him and Uncle Nate and they were on the plane and they just wrote down all the stuff that they want to accomplish in life yeah it was like was like, make a million dollars. Get mentioned in a Drake song.
Yeah. And he actually, like, checked off everything that was on that list.
Yes, he did. And the last thing I had that was just very funny was the draft night stories.
And one, the story about how he, like, the Texans, he had met the McNairs, I believe, wooed them, and then the next day went out and got drunk at like a very notable Houston golf course and like basically ruined his chances of going to the Texans and the other one was when he started falling and the Cowboys pick at 16 and the Cowboys pick Zach Martin everyone booed and Zach Martin is like a hall of famer yeah he's he's it was like so funny watching that back being like outside I mean he probably was the best player in that draft and Mike Evans and Blake Bortles there's some good company in that draft but Zach Martin was a fucking incredible pick by the Cowboys yeah there was also the story about how he he missed the Manning passing academy because he said they just slept in. Yeah, definitely went out, got hammered.

That probably that did more to tank his draft stock than most anything else

because Arch Manning is the shadow commissioner.

Yeah.

So you duck his passing Academy where gets around pretty quickly.

It's it is good.

You know, the ending like seeing that he feels like he's back and like,

you know, with his family and everything was heartwarming

because it was one of those documentaries where you watch,

you know that he's still alive.

You hope he's doing well.

But it could have gone a very, very dark way where it's like shit.

The media and everything, all the hype, he never had a chance.

So thank God he's on the other side of it.

Unreal story.

If you were to transport your body into Johnny Football's body, which, by the way, Johnny Football is a great, great nickname. Johnny fucking football.
Johnny fucking football. If you were to be Johnny Football for a day in college, it would have kicked ass.
It would have been awesome. If you had been Johnny Football for a week, that probably would have sucked.
No, that also would have kicked ass. For a full week? Yeah, for a semester, no.
Yeah. I still would have kicked ass.
There would have been parts that would have kicked ass, but he wasn't having fun. He couldn't do anything.
He couldn't be a normal human being. And then Cliff Kingsbury just trying to keep the reins on him the best that he could.
Cliff Kingsbury is just not that attractive without the sunglasses. Exactly.
I know that trick very well. Yeah, yeah.
But it was a good documentary. Everyone should watch it.
Untold stories on Netflix. This isn't even an ad.
We just watched it because we liked it. And they've got the Florida one coming out soon, too.
I think that one will be must watch. They also they also didn't mention that.
I mean, it just came out like weeks ago. It was probably after they were finished recording.
But he's opening up a nightclub in College Station. Oh, really? Yeah.
Smart. I think like two bar that thing's gonna rock yeah it is those are like those guys they can just like i know i think ron dane still lives in madison like you could still have an awesome life oh he's gonna make so much money off that yeah so much who's gonna like want to go to college station and not want to go to the money bar yeah that.
That's the only good thing in College Station. Yeah, and then Bama went and won the national title that year.
That's when they just obliterated Notre Dame. And he won the Heisman.
Heisman's fly forever. That's pretty cool to be like, I can just go to New York in December every year and just be around a bunch of legends.
What's Johnny doing? Do you know what his job is right now the nightclub yeah he's doing the nightclub yeah that's why because the ending didn't really say what he was doing yeah usually with a documentary like that it's like drinking beer in scottsdale yeah but then i that's when i like looked into it and i was like oh yeah he's opening a nightclub and i should i feel like they should have mentioned that yeah they probably should have mentioned that mentioned that. I should have mentioned that.
But yeah, Johnny fucking football.

We'll get him back on.

Yeah.

People forget he did a podcast at Barstool.

Also Dave and Erica.

Dave's picture, not the best.

Yeah.

Him just being drunk as fuck with Johnny.

Uh-huh.

And when they showed that clip of him at Barstool with Erica next to him,

I think we were just right off camera because we were about to interview him.

Yeah.

That day that he came in.

Yeah, because he was a good interview.

And yeah, Dave's picture was probably a lot of fun.

I'm going he still can play. Not at the NFL level.
Does he still have any eligibility left? Could he go back? That's what I'm saying. That's the rule.
Tell me Texas A&M would love to have him. Be incredible.
Okay. Great show, boys.
Great show. Feel good about this show.
I feel like we're on a little bit of a heater. Also, just that just that interview with dawkins was awesome awesome i love that guy um we got some good interviews coming up this week we got some uh we got a lot of interviews this week but we're doing some stuff down uh with the pga so we're gonna get some new guests maybe talk to max have max back on uh all right numbers eight 69 i can't wait for this new machine yeah this is all what i'm calling no man's land era i just basically so the new machine the dead ball era well there were moments there were moments when we uh i i had i talked to some people thank you for everyone reached out one guy sent a new machine that had the ping pong balls the size of beach balls and i think we wouldn't have been able to fit anything else in the office um so we've decided that the new machine what the what i've would have tasked uh jordan at our office who does a really good job of building is uh basically the same old machine i was like make it as big as it was with the refrigerator on it.
Yeah. So, like, that will be the full machine.

So that will be perfect.

But, yeah, I can't wait for the new machine.

I can't wait to – that first, Hank, have you ever gotten it,

is going to be so sweet.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

So you're going to start out of the gate.

Of course.

Why wouldn't I?

Wow.

Why wouldn't I?

Because none of us have gotten it at that point.

Right, but that's –

But, Hank, yeah, it's a great quote.

It's a great quote.

It's great to have you.

Okay.

Memes, you've never gotten this.

Nope.

Let it go back to Hank.

Three.

Memes is three.

He said, let it go back to Hank.

All right, Shane, what do you got?

Ten.

Shane, you still mad at me about the Chargers?

Okay.

You looked into it?

I said facts.

They're not starting any starters. Look what happened to Michael.
Okay, he's now talking about injuries. This is scared.
Chargers are scared. Chargers are scared.
All right, here we go. 41.
41. Oh, wait.
That's what it was on Thursday. Back to back.
Back to back.

Love you guys.

This fact comes from Jay Kuda.

Unbelievable follow on Twitter.

It's J-A-Y-C-U-D-A.

More than 60 players named Mike have played for the St. Louis Cardinals franchise.

No other franchise has had more than 50 Mikes.

That's pretty good. Wow.
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Thank you. I like to play it to be safe I like to play it to be safe

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You are the things I've got to remember

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You are the things I've got to remember