Bills Left Tackle Dion Dawkins, NFL Preseason Over Reactions, Mt Rushmore Of Things That Aren't Real And Johnny Football Documentary Review

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry, we got you.

Speaker 2 Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code New Aldi25. Orders $30 or more, save up to $25, and it's 1231, see out for details.

Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have an incredible interview. I'm giving it a must-listen to all AWLs.
This is a guy we've never had on who we will become. He is a recurring guest now.

Speaker 3 Fake best friend, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Deion Dawkins from the Buffalo Bills had us in absolute stitches.

Speaker 1 Just a hilarious, hilarious dude. Great, great story.
So must-listen for all AWLs. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Things That Are Not Real in honor of our queen.
What's her name? Playing.

Speaker 1 Barros. Gomez.
What's her name? Line.

Speaker 3 I'm looking it up right now. Give me one second.

Speaker 1 We're going to do things that are not real. We're going to talk a little football,

Speaker 1 some golf, some.

Speaker 3 Tiffany Gomez.

Speaker 1 Tiffany Gomez, our queen. Things that are not real.
And then we have a review of the Baker Mayfield documentary.

Speaker 3 Johnny Football documentary.

Speaker 1 Baker Mayfield is not Johnny Football. The Johnny Football documentary.
Damn, that hurts for Baker Lee.

Speaker 3 What, all Browns quarterbacks look the same?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they do. The Johnny Football documentary at the end of the show.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of

Speaker 1 work will be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can blame all on the sound. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to electric I revenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electric I revenue. It's part of my take.

Speaker 3 Presented by Marshal Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Monday, August 14th, and football is back.
So back.

Speaker 3 Football season is fully back. The preseason's back.
Time to overreact to everything that we saw.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have some overreactions that I wrote down.

Speaker 3 Okay, first, right off the top, Stetson Bennett, Future Hall of Famer. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's part of it. He looks good.
It actually is crazy that we're in a world where I was reading an article.

Speaker 1 It was like Stetson Bennett, who is set to be Matthew Stafford's backup and potential heir apparent. Like, what? Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's fucking do it. But before we do overreactions, PFT, I know you were in Ireland.

Speaker 1 Hi. So you probably weren't able to watch all the games.
Let me just ask you a quick question.

Speaker 1 If I told you that a quarterback, unnamed, had a stat line of three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns, would you say that's a good day?

Speaker 3 I'd say that's a great day. That's a good day for Justin Fields.

Speaker 1 That's a great day.

Speaker 3 Hey, listen, I was. Just box score.
I was in Ireland, but I did watch the clips. He was throwing some fucking dimes.

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 3 Air yards traveled. I love that stat.
Yeah. I think, what was it, like the 60-yard touchdown pass went like negative two yards in the air? I'm a hateful.
It doesn't matter. He threw him open.

Speaker 3 He managed the game correctly.

Speaker 1 DJ Moore had me rock hard. I'm okay saying that.

Speaker 1 Listen, I am at the point now where it is, there's a line in the sand.

Speaker 1 It's enough, you know, back and forth. Is he the guy?

Speaker 1 Justin Fields is a guy. I have started, hate bookmarking Justin Fields slander to come back to it later.
Good, good. So

Speaker 1 he could play a perfect game and people would still nitpick him. That's fine.
Three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns. Yeah, I overreact, but yeah, the Bears look fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 And DJ Moore, you are the best ever.

Speaker 3 Are they putting too much on tape, though? Are they showing all the wrinkles to the offense?

Speaker 1 Three plays. That's all you need to do.

Speaker 3 Three plays, three for three, 129 yards. Pretty touchdowns.
Pretty good outing. I went through the same thing with Sam Howell's outing.
I went back, watched the highlights.

Speaker 1 Did he go three for three, 129 yards?

Speaker 3 No, I think he went nine for 12, so he had six more completions. And he had one touchdown.
And yeah, Super Bowl. Yeah.
I'm thinking Super Bowl now.

Speaker 1 It's the best time to play.

Speaker 3 And the haters out there that are like, oh, they're basically playing like a glorified practice. Don't take anything away from it.
Fuck you. Let us be able to overreact to these things.

Speaker 3 This is why I like watching preseason football because you find a couple guys that you're like, oh, these dudes could be guys.

Speaker 3 And then you'll never hear from them again. But still, we still have like three weeks of hope that we get to have from these meaningless games.
So let me just be delusional.

Speaker 1 There's nothing worse than the guy on Twitter before an NFL preseason game that's like, just a reminder, this is NFL preseason. A lot of these guys might not even make the team.

Speaker 1 Overreacting to a play or a clip is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 How about you're fucking ridiculous? And I hope you get hit by a bus because I'm going to watch preseason and guess what? You know what else I'm going to do preseason?

Speaker 1 Any bad play, I'm just going to spin it to a positive play. So if a team looks bad, if my team looks bad for a series,

Speaker 1 I'm going to say, yeah, it's preseason. They're the third stringers.
Who cares? If they look good, I'm like, wow, we have depth. This is awesome.

Speaker 3 We're the best team ever.

Speaker 3 So we can point at the stat. If we end up losing, we can be like, well, I think the Raiders went undefeated last year in the preseason.

Speaker 3 If your team wins, you're like, well, the Ravens never lose preseason games.

Speaker 3 The most impressive streak in sports goal is fucked up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you did fuck up with that one, Justin.

Speaker 1 That's a reminder.

Speaker 3 Jake, come on. That's a good idea.
Come on, Jake.

Speaker 1 Got to be better.

Speaker 1 Got to be better.

Speaker 5 Take them this week.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so

Speaker 3 if your team wins, you can be like, well, the Ravens, they lock it in the preseason. They care about it.
They're usually a pretty good team. So you can spin it either way that you want.

Speaker 1 That's the beauty of preseason is that you're basically the eye of the beholder.

Speaker 1 You just basically watch a game and however you need to get to a point where you feel confident about your team, you do that.

Speaker 1 You make giant leaps in logic.

Speaker 1 You nitpick. You take only the good plays.
You just discard the bad ones. That's what preseason football is.

Speaker 1 Now, the other part of preseason football is watching other teams and being like, they suck. Yep.
So I have some hot takes. Russell Wilson sucks.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm going to disagree with you on that one. He was not wearing a Gilligan hat on the sideline doing interviews during the second half.
That's one thing that Sean Payton was looking for.

Speaker 3 Absolutely no Gilligan hat. I think his rules, in fact,

Speaker 3 he had a list.

Speaker 3 No uniforms off after you're done playing, no sunglasses, no Gilligan hats, and no interviews during the game. Russell Wilson checked all those off.

Speaker 1 Okay, so he might be following protocol, but he sucks. He's back.

Speaker 1 Other hot take. Nathan Rourke is better than Dak Prescott.

Speaker 3 Did you see that play? I did not see that play.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Can you send him that play? It was like like the greatest play that's ever been played.
He's a Mac legend, CFL legend.

Speaker 1 Nathan Rourke, if the Cowboys wanted to be, if they were, to quote Logan Roy, if they were serious people, they would start Nathan Rourke week one. Let's see.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. So his brother was the starting quarterback for Ohio he had in bowl game.

Speaker 1 He was hurt. Yeah, yeah.
No, they're Mac bread.

Speaker 3 Okay, that was a legit pass by Trevor Lawrence right there.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's better. Oh, wait, he's not on the Cowboys.
He's better than Trevor Lawrence. He's better than Trevor Lawrence.
That's what I meant. But he also is better than Dak Prescott.

Speaker 3 Well, he's a higher number than Dak Prescott, right? He rats on saying the highest number, Logan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I forgot it came.

Speaker 1 It went against the Cowboys. Again, this is a

Speaker 1 blur.

Speaker 3 So I agree with you on that because, Big Cat, you'll remember last year, I was more of a Justin Fields guy in terms of Justin Fields versus Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 1 Well, I was trying to get a break.

Speaker 3 You're trying to temper expectations.

Speaker 1 I'm not.

Speaker 3 I think Justin Fields is better than Trevor Lawrence. He's the best quarterback.
It might be the worst take. I might look back on this in two years and be like,

Speaker 3 you've said a lot of dumb shit on this podcast. No, that was.

Speaker 3 This might be one of the dumber ones that I've said.

Speaker 3 Max Duggan had a very impressive line. Who are the stat lines that we always compare him to? Like

Speaker 3 the crazy stat lines where it's like the Josh Rosenstein. Josh Rosen, yeah.
Max Duggan played the entire second half for the Chargers. He went two for three for 19 yards.

Speaker 6 Pretty good. I like it.
Pretty good.

Speaker 5 Did you guys see the wild stat? No. With Max Duggan and Stenzin Menet.
They played each other in their final college game at SoFi. Wow.

Speaker 1 That's wild. That's crazy.
Their first preseason game. That's very well defined.
Please put a note in the file to fade the Chargers week one. Shane's looking at me.

Speaker 5 He's very upset.

Speaker 7 They're playing the Dolphins.

Speaker 1 They're not playing any starters. They're not playing any offensive starters.
Julian Edelman taught us this lesson. You need to play offensive starters at least a few snaps, a few series.

Speaker 3 It's disgusting that the Sea Words are out there acting like they're the vintage New England Patriots. It's crazy.
Like, we want to take all our guys out and just give the backup guys a shot.

Speaker 1 Anthony, what do you think?

Speaker 3 If you remember how the Sea Words ended their last season, they should be playing only starters. Correct.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 5 I read you guys all of my week one reminders. You told me to remind you to disregard all my weekly remotes.

Speaker 1 Okay, but yeah, yeah, that's the last.

Speaker 3 That's the final reminder.

Speaker 1 Jake, what I want is to know every team that doesn't, or someone else can treat me this.

Speaker 1 Every team that doesn't play their offensive starters for at least a series in the preseason,

Speaker 1 they're out. They're getting faded hard.

Speaker 1 Hard. Shane is looking at me just incredulous right now.
Anthony Richardson is good.

Speaker 1 I do have a Cowboys one, a positive Cowboys one, even though the third stringer for the Jaguars is better than their franchise quarterback. Deuce Vaughan is awesome, and I loved him at Kansas State.

Speaker 1 Deuce Vaughn is going to win a lot of fantasy leagues.

Speaker 3 Deuce Vaughn is so sick to watch. I love the clips in practice of him that are basically him running in between his own offensive lineman's legs.

Speaker 3 He's just like when you're playing Mario Kart or you're playing Super Mario Brothers and you get hit by something, you get hit with a feather. Is that the one? No, the lightning bolt.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Deuce Vaughn looks like he got hit by the lightning bolt. Yeah.
And he's just like wiggling between everybody's face. He's so fast.

Speaker 1 So fast. He's off.
So fast.

Speaker 1 Jalen Carter steal the draft.

Speaker 1 I said it.

Speaker 1 Facts. Always said it.
I said it. I said it.
He looked like he was trying and he was good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Anthony Richardson's good. He ran over a guy.
That was cool. That means he's a franchise quarterback in my eyes.

Speaker 1 Kenny Pickett might be MVP.

Speaker 1 That's another one.

Speaker 1 Mike Tomlinson said that Kenny Pickett needs to play more than a season vet, and he was very good.

Speaker 3 He said, we need Kenny to be who we need him to be. And he was who they need him to be.

Speaker 1 And he needs to play to the standard, which is also the standard.

Speaker 3 Jordan Love, seven for 10. Not good.
One touchdown. Not good.
They spanked the Bengals.

Speaker 1 He threw. I read one tweet where it said that he missed a couple of receivers.
That's the only thing I'm remembering from Jordan Love.

Speaker 3 Is that one tweet?

Speaker 1 Yep. And I don't even know who wrote it.
I just saw it and was like, yeah, he did miss some receivers. I didn't watch a second of the game.
My last one was DeMar Hamlin is alive.

Speaker 3 Is that the same DeMar Hamlin? Yep.

Speaker 3 What if that's the guy that that girl was yelling at on the plane?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's...

Speaker 1 We're going to get to Tiffany Gomez, our queen, for our Mount Rushmore, but people thinking she's a body double are just telling on themselves they've never seen a woman put on makeup. You don't know.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 3 women are tricky like that.

Speaker 3 They can fool us pretty good like i can i can look at the same woman in three different states of wearing makeup hair up hair down different bangs and they look completely different to me right but they're all the same woman they're all the same woman technically but sometimes women women be women be tricky yeah no they and they be shopping females be tricky yeah but it but it is

Speaker 1 A woman can look different.

Speaker 3 Yes, true.

Speaker 1 So everyone's like,

Speaker 1 this is a completely different person. This is bullshit.
It's like, well,

Speaker 1 you've never gotten laid.

Speaker 3 Arthur Smith looks awesome in his mustache. The mustache is perfect.

Speaker 1 And he's jacked. Dude, he's

Speaker 1 like you with the mustache. Oh, thank you.
We're both good-looking guys with chins.

Speaker 3 Appreciate it. I was going to, yeah, I mean, he is still thickless cage, but he is.
The chins have gone away a little bit.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's gotten in shape. He's lost probably, I'd say, 30 pounds.

Speaker 1 Best shape of his life.

Speaker 3 I want to, yeah, best shape of his life going to this training camp. I want to see him recreating the A-Rod picture.
He's just kissing himself in the mirror. Yeah.
That would be hot.

Speaker 1 I'd put it up in the studio. Maybe he'd say there's a person.

Speaker 3 So I did not classify this as an official PFT dream bet.

Speaker 3 You might recall last year on a Thursday night football game, I think it was the Browns and the Steelers, I dreamt that there was going to be a defensive special teams touchdown. Like a vivid dream.

Speaker 3 Put that bet in.

Speaker 1 It hit.

Speaker 3 I dreamt that the Houston New England game was going to be.

Speaker 1 Did you have another dream bet after that?

Speaker 3 No, I think I'm 1-0 on dream bets.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 And this one I said was going to be 13-6 in the fourth quarter. I was off.
It was 13-3 in the fourth quarter. Took the under.

Speaker 3 I didn't put it out there as an official dream bet, but I am going to classify myself as being 1-0 on dream bets that I have not said were actual dream bets. Got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, C.J. Stroud struggled a little.

Speaker 3 He's a bust. No, he's going to be fine.
Stroud boys, stand back, stand by. We're going to be fine.

Speaker 1 Bryce Young, his touch is perfect.

Speaker 1 I am in Bryce's memes, do you... So we all walked in here.
It's like, you know, 9 o'clock at night.

Speaker 1 I got here first, and I watched as everyone walked in here. It was kind of like that meme, the teacher walking in with

Speaker 1 the same shirt, same outfit every day. Every single person walked in here, and memes goes, You see the Jets game?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so, memes, tell us what you saw in the Jets game because you asked every, like, PFT got off a flight from Ireland two minutes ago. You're like, You see the Jets game?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the defensive line is very good. Will McDonald, the first-round draft.
That's what everybody was saying.

Speaker 3 Will McDonald, famous Irish guy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 The whole pub was cheering for him.

Speaker 1 Will McDonald, Jermaine Johnson.

Speaker 1 Running backs look great.

Speaker 3 Zach Wilson had, he was checked down Sally, but he did fine. Okay.

Speaker 3 Is that a new phrase that we're doing this year for you, memes? Check down Sally?

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you check the ball down, you're checked down Sally. Memes, I'm rooting for the Jets this year.
I'm pumped to watch the defensive line. Okay.
I like that.

Speaker 1 That's when you know you need ball back. I just want to watch my defensive line work.
Yeah, people are comparing it to the New York Sack Exchange, but. Oh.

Speaker 1 People are just getting excited. It's Jets' Twitter.
They're just getting excited.

Speaker 1 This is good, memes. I'm not going to shame you.

Speaker 1 We gave that whole speech for a reason. Yeah, no, I just need football back.
It was just funny just asking everyone if they'd seen the Jets game.

Speaker 1 Like it was the Super Bowl or something. Yeah, no, it was a really bad game, too.
Matt Crowell didn't play great. It was tough to watch.

Speaker 1 Well, he's not going to have to play. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, you never know. You thought Matt Crow was the next in waiting? He had some draft hype going in that he got hurt.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I like Jameis Winston.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jameis laying it up out there.

Speaker 3 92 yards, one touchdown, no interceptions, 121.8 passer rating. I don't know how they calculate that, but it sounds like that's high.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was really good, and the Chiefs probably are going to suck this year.

Speaker 3 Is there a new Jameis Winston workout video that came out, or was that a recycled video?

Speaker 3 It's recycled. Okay, because I was going to say, I can't keep track of it anymore.

Speaker 3 It's some variation of his trainer with a wiffle ball bat and then Jameis holding like a ball that looks like it's filled with bees and he's just like dancing around a bunch of tackling dummies.

Speaker 1 He's saying numbers. It actually is not too dissimilar than the Proud Boys actual the Nazi group doing their initiation where they beat someone up and they have to say cereals.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's kind of similar to that. It's like I wouldn't be shocked if Jameis just getting hit with like a pool noodle while he has to name, you know, sitcom characters.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I give it till week three where Jameis Winston should be the starting quarterback.

Speaker 3 i mean i think he should be the starting quarterback now people are saying derek carr got too jacked yeah he does one picture of him well that's kind of like that's the car method is his brother who was we that was a miss on our part when we were talking about quarterbacks that were drafted highly that became good solid backups playing gabbert was the other one playing gabbert and then david carr david carr got jacked up because he knew that okay i'm going to be backing up eli manning in new york He's never going to let me play.

Speaker 3 So all I have to do is just do curls all day long, stand on the sidelines wearing a cut-off tank top, and look awesome.

Speaker 3 And that's kind of the path that Derek seems to be going on, where it's just like, okay, just get the biceps going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, too big. He looks too big.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That was good. It felt good to talk about football.
I can't wait to overreact to week two preseason.

Speaker 3 Shane Buchel, better than Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say so. Week two is a good thing.
Well, did Patrick Mahomes play today?

Speaker 3 He played a little bit, yeah.

Speaker 3 Two for two, 15 yards.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's not three for three, 129 yards.

Speaker 3 It's not, no.

Speaker 3 Check down Sally, Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say, Jake?

Speaker 5 Is week two the old week three where like the starters play like three quarters? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We don't do that anymore.

Speaker 3 We were talking about that last year because I think week two should be the new week three. Yeah.
But then week three is now the new week four. Right.

Speaker 1 And week one is like nothing. Week one is the new Hall of Fame game.
Hall of Fame game. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all confusing. All right.
Other things. Did you guys see Lucas Glover's Swamp Ass? Yeah.
Yeah. I lost the playoffs.
He won. He won, which

Speaker 1 deserves a lot of credit. He finally won the water in the playoff.

Speaker 3 It looked like he was wearing a reverse thong, the way that the swamp ass just showed up on the waistline and just right down the butt crack.

Speaker 1 And CBS did him no favors. They were like, they followed him for about 20 seconds at one point,

Speaker 1 just showing his butt crack. And that guy, I mean, credit to him because he looked like he had the worst swamp ass I've ever seen in my entire life, and he won the tournament in overtime.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 that was something. I also,

Speaker 1 I know Lucas, has he won two in a row? He's won two in a row, right?

Speaker 1 And we're going to be out there at Olympic Fields this weekend talking to some golfers, seeing our friend Max, who

Speaker 1 he had a moment where I was like, ooh, here comes Max.

Speaker 3 But he's not out of it, right?

Speaker 1 No, no, but yeah, in this actual tournament, he was like third and he hit a shot that was a beautiful shot to possibly hit an eagle and he missed that butt.

Speaker 1 But that's not, we're not going to get negative. We're going to see him this week.

Speaker 3 He's still in the hunt. What's Rory say that he's focused on the road to Dubai?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he wants to do that.

Speaker 3 That's what Matt is on, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the championship and the road to Dubai are more important than majors to Rory.

Speaker 1 But I can't get behind, as much as I wanted to be a Lucas Glover guy because of this swamp ass and knowing like any big guy has had to deal with this, any guy really, having to deal with this swamp ass is why you can't wear khakis or light gray or light tan in the summer.

Speaker 1 Lucas Glover not wearing a glove is insane.

Speaker 3 If your name's Glover.

Speaker 1 His name's Glover. Yeah.
And I went and I looked it up, and he says that he actually would be a 10-handicap if he wore a glove.

Speaker 5 I think Jim Nance said that. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 1 it was from an interview a couple years ago. He said that he can't feel the club when he wears a glove.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like taking a shower with a raincoat on.

Speaker 3 You gotta have that skin on skin.

Speaker 1 He needs to wear a glove. Yeah.
He's Lucas Glover.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, I almost respect it. It's like when you see a defensive lineman not wearing gloves.
It's like this guy's kind of fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Lucas Glover. He probably pisses on his hands like Moises Alou.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said that when he was coming up, he would, Dick Harmon, his coach in Houston, would cut the fingers out for him. So he would just, to keep his, like, palm not getting ripped up.

Speaker 1 And then he was like, I can't wear a glove. Like, I can't do this.

Speaker 3 See, I've always wondered why golfers don't wear two gloves. If you've got one glove on, if one glove's good, why not the second, like a batting glove?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or wear it on the wrong hand.
Maybe we should have that movement.

Speaker 3 We should. Yeah, Teddy Two gloves.
Yeah. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

Speaker 3 Whether you order catering platters ahead from your local Boars Head retailer, or you create your own spread at home with Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 3 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boar's head, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 And then the only other thing I had, and you guys might have other sports stuff before we get to who's back.

Speaker 1 I think, as of right now, I am ready to make my one and only drop from my dinger zone.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I wanted to talk about Wander Franco.

Speaker 1 Now, Big Cat, I think we made

Speaker 1 by the rules. You're not allowed to drop it.
So, you guys want me to keep this guy on my team? You, Jake, specifically.

Speaker 1 You, you saying what we said at the beginning of the season jake jake are you specifically saying that wander franco should still be in the diggers only league no he should be banned for life but unfortunately it's not up to us we've already done the rules okay fine so

Speaker 3 if i had a vote i would absolutely say kick him out get get him out of there okay

Speaker 1 kick him out all right so let's ask

Speaker 1 i don't but we can't change the rules midseason we don't do that wait but if he goes if he goes if he's on the i l which he probably will end up being then i can kick him out you think they're going to...

Speaker 3 Tesla Game is injured for fucking a 14-year-old?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 isn't that

Speaker 1 an injury? That's a mental injury.

Speaker 1 It's also all alleged, by the way. But yeah, isn't that a mental injury?

Speaker 1 I had Wander Franco giveaway day to day.

Speaker 3 And if you were under 14, you got a free hat. Yikes.
That's pretty crazy. Did you hear about this one?

Speaker 1 That hat looked awesome, by the way. I'll just say that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a good hat. The hat was crazy.
Separate the art from the artist.

Speaker 1 Let's not go criticizing hats because of Wander Franco, what he may or may not have done.

Speaker 3 It was a good hat.

Speaker 3 Let's separate it. Did you hear about this one that he just wants to get sent back down to the minors?

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice.

Speaker 5 Did you hear that? Yeah, so I think you're allowed to make this odd drop.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, no, we agreed. That's the IL for injury.

Speaker 3 So if he goes on the ILL, if he goes on the IL, yeah, if they're like, sorry, we're putting this guy on

Speaker 3 the IL for hopping on Jeffrey Epstein's airplane,

Speaker 3 then yes, you can drop him.

Speaker 1 All right, can I

Speaker 5 make you want to make like a provisional?

Speaker 8 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Here's what it will do. Here's what we'll do.
Here's fair.

Speaker 1 I will not drop him by the bylaws of the Dingers-only League. Which are ironclad.
Ironclad. Will never change.
Ironclad.

Speaker 1 So by the bylaws, I cannot drop him. That's fine.
That's fair. I'm not going to contest that.
I'm not going to appeal that. Jake says that's fine.

Speaker 1 That there's alleged pedophiles in the Dingers-only League. Jake will stand up and

Speaker 1 when the media comes after me, I'm going to say my press secretary, Jake Marshall will handle all questions.

Speaker 1 What I will do is I am personally going to sit him. So if he plays and hits any home runs, I don't want a counting.
Okay. That's fair, right?

Speaker 5 Do you want a replacement?

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't have to. No, I'm just personally,

Speaker 1 I'm playing a man down. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have thought

Speaker 1 I'm close to, I have to be close to bingo with pedophile, alleged pedophile, and vertigo. Mount Castle's bad.

Speaker 1 Like, what the fuck? Yeah. And I'm not in last.

Speaker 5 Yeah, PFT is in last by

Speaker 3 a significant amount of points.

Speaker 1 Billy might be able to catch up now that I'm

Speaker 1 Billy. Shortstop.
Was he play shortstop?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yep.
Memes in the lead.

Speaker 3 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 3 There were some very funny memes out there about Wanda Franco. As funny as they can be.
There was one. It was like,

Speaker 3 what was it?

Speaker 3 It was Wanda Franco and Carl Malone showing up to the high school prom, and it was Kobe and Shaq.

Speaker 1 There also was one guy who was defending him, which, again, it is alleged, but... You don't have to be the guy who jumps in front of this one.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But he was like,

Speaker 1 this is bullshit. It's alleged, which again, I agree.
If it's alleged, like, we don't know any of the facts.

Speaker 1 But he's like, this is bullshit. There's alleged, this is

Speaker 1 probably a girl he broke up with that's trying to get back at him. And someone's like, dude, so you just said a girl who's 14 he broke up with? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And now she's upset, so she's dragging his name through the mud.

Speaker 3 Listen, we talked earlier about how guys are stupid and can't tell the difference between the same woman sometimes.

Speaker 3 14 to 18 is a pretty big four years yes yes so if she was lying that's that's what i've heard from the uh the wander friend or the wandere apologists out there saying that he didn't know that she was 14 not 18.

Speaker 1 that's that's a pretty significant age difference right there do we have any update on like the team or anything do they say anything other than i think they're they're waiting for the facts well he had a he had a a day off today and they said it was a scheduled day off um

Speaker 1 yeah the other meme that was funny was the school night the the the money ball meme with Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt. And it's like, Billy, this is Wander Franco.

Speaker 1 He's one of the best pure hitters in baseball. His only defect is he's a pedophile.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a funny meme. Yeah, it's a good meme.
Again, a legend, we'll find out more, I guess. But he is no longer counting for my team.

Speaker 3 Okay, but he's still on your roster.

Speaker 1 He is on my roster. He's on my IL.

Speaker 1 IL parentheses P, alleged.

Speaker 1 I want that officially noted.

Speaker 1 Here, I have a statement for the the Rays. During today's games, we were made aware of the social media posts that are circulating regarding Wanda Franco.
We take the situation seriously.

Speaker 1 We're in close contact with Major League Baseball as it conducts its due diligence. Okay.

Speaker 1 So we'll find out.

Speaker 1 They didn't really tweet today. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 if it's not true, that's bullshit.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 he is going to be on my IL parentheses P, allegeant.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to who's back of the week.

Speaker 1 Jake, you want to start?

Speaker 7 I could start. You're sitting in Hank's seat.

Speaker 5 I know.

Speaker 7 It feels weird.

Speaker 5 But yeah, my Who's Back of the Week is the NBA Hall of Fame. Basketball Hall of Fame.
Yeah. The inductions.
What?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 go ahead. I have something to say about it.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I really like Dwayne Wade's speech.

Speaker 1 I don't know

Speaker 1 why were they doing the Basketball Hall of Fame at 11 o'clock on a Saturday in August? I think it's always this time. I'm just saying, are they trying to get the least amount of people to watch?

Speaker 1 It It just made no sense. It was so random that the Hall of Fame was happening right now.

Speaker 3 The speeches always do creep up on you. You have no idea that they're happening until they get put online.

Speaker 3 Oh, that was today? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think that's what they always do.

Speaker 1 Doesn't the Baseball Hall of Fame happen in the middle of Sunday?

Speaker 5 I think it's like Sunday afternoon or something.

Speaker 3 Well, also, the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 The San Francis Hall of Fame does the Hall of Fame game. It's like the start of football season.
It's like makes sense.

Speaker 1 Like, why wouldn't you do the Basketball Hall of Fame in the middle of February or something?

Speaker 3 So, the Basketball Hall of Fame, they usually bring out all the inductees during the Final Four, right? Remember, we saw that when we were down in Houston.

Speaker 3 It's the longest Hall of Fame season in any sport.

Speaker 3 It goes from late March to

Speaker 3 mid-August. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So who else is it?

Speaker 5 Wade, Wade, Dirk, Tony Parker, Powell, Becky Hammond was honored.

Speaker 1 Crazy. Honored? That's not in the Hall of Fame.
Pop, I think.

Speaker 9 Yeah, Pop.

Speaker 3 I saw Pat Riley said about Dwayne Wade, he's the greatest Miami Heat player to ever play, and this is not a knock against LeBron.

Speaker 3 Usually, when you have to follow it up by saying it's not a knock, that means it's a knock.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 she got in

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 we are sex positive both ways.

Speaker 1 Dwayne Wade's dad is like, he looks like he's like 40 years old. Yeah, he's a good-looking dude.

Speaker 1 I was shocked. Yep.
Sex positive. Like, if that had been reversed, we would have had to say something.
So now we have to say something this way. That's your who's back, basketball hall thing?

Speaker 1 Hall of Fame.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week is the EPL.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 English Premier League is back.

Speaker 3 We started off this week, and

Speaker 3 I got to watch some of the games in a pub in Ireland. They fucking love that sport over there.
It's crazy.

Speaker 3 It's like NFL on steroids for opening week there. So I'm just looking at the top of the table right now.

Speaker 3 Looks like Arsenal's got it wrapped up already. They start off 1-0.
So Arsenal, congrats on winning

Speaker 3 the 2023 English Premier League table.

Speaker 1 You also have a new short king PFT, Conte, for Chelsea.

Speaker 1 He's like 5'7, but I think he's probably more like 5'6 and 5'5.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's so fast, and he's so much shorter. It's awesome watching him play.

Speaker 3 It's been a good year for Short Kings between Messi,

Speaker 3 Marquise Noel, Conte. We're back.
Deuce Vaughn, we're fully back.

Speaker 1 Bagel Boss. Yeah, Bagel Boss.

Speaker 1 That was a couple of months.

Speaker 1 That was years ago.

Speaker 3 That was years ago.

Speaker 1 We should just start saying bagel, but

Speaker 1 you should start putting bagel boss clips out being like, wow, this just happened.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that guy, I wonder what he's up to these days. Probably still angry.
Probably nothing good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably still angry.

Speaker 3 Bryce Young.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Short Kings are big time.

Speaker 3 Declan Rice tearing it up for West Ham. We're looking great.
The Hammers started out with a draw. Very happy about that.
Okay.

Speaker 3 And I was talking soccer. I was talking soccer.
That's all I got for the EPL.

Speaker 1 All right, My Who's back.

Speaker 3 Also, Holland is just unfair.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Victor Holland? Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
That dude just, all he does is score goals.

Speaker 3 Well, that too. Yeah.
But this dude, Victor Holland, he's like 6'7. All he does is score goals.

Speaker 3 This guy might be the best soccer player to ever play. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jersey Jerry's got his rookie card. Oh, really? Yeah, he's been tweeting.
He's been tweeting non-stop about him. So hopefully he can make some money off it.

Speaker 3 There was a guy in the bar that was, shout out to the Irish AWL that came up and said, because it was Burnley playing against Man City. He's like, what the fuck is J.J.
Watt doing as an owner?

Speaker 3 He can't stop this Holland guy. They're blaming, personally, J.J.
Watt for not being able to stop

Speaker 3 Holland from scoring, which I love.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's how it works. All right, my who's back is

Speaker 1 random people going viral and having their life changed. So this guy,

Speaker 1 Anthony Oliver, I think is his name, the bearded country singer, who has gone crazy, crazy viral.

Speaker 1 I feel like his life has completely changed. And, of course, the internet tried to ruin it all of us, like very quickly, being like, who does this guy vote for? Which side is he on?

Speaker 1 Is he an industry plant?

Speaker 1 I don't know. The dude's voice rocks.
I watched that song probably about 20 times. His voice rocks.
He did do the smart thing of keeping out a couple of the verses

Speaker 1 because he's maybe he's not Bob Dylan. Can I share a couple verses with you that he kept out of the song?

Speaker 3 It's like a money-for-nothing type. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The best way I describe these verses are Billy Football's Twitter trying to be you. Got it.

Speaker 1 So one of the verses is, I wish politicians would look out for minors and not just minors on an island somewhere.

Speaker 1 That's strong. That is Billy Football being you.

Speaker 3 That's very strong. Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 1 Makes you think. And then the other one was, well, God, if you're 5'3 and you're 300 pounds, taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 He's not Bob Dylan. He kept these verses out of the clip, which was very smart.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, there's, listen, in some of our best songs, like Money for Nothing and the Star-Spangled Banner, sometimes you got to delete a verse every now and again.

Speaker 3 Yes, make it, yeah, that's smart.

Speaker 3 That's very smart for him because, yes, the first thing people will do when they see anybody go viral is they're like, okay, well, if this guy's not on my side, then he sucks. Right.

Speaker 3 So let's try to figure this out.

Speaker 1 And he's an industry plant. Or, yeah, it just ruins what was a great story.

Speaker 1 The dude went viral, viral, awesome singer, song rocks, and then everyone's like, well, we got to figure out everything about him and where he stands, and then we'll make a decision whether this song is good or not.

Speaker 1 How about you just make a decision with your ears? The song fucking rocks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this song is way better than Try That in a Small Town. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can we all agree on that?

Speaker 1 And he had dogs in the background just chilling. And I looked up his other songs.
They also rock. Again, not Bob Dylan.

Speaker 3 And I love his Twitter handle, too.

Speaker 1 It's Ain't Got a Dollar. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He is awesome. So

Speaker 1 I'm a big fan of him. I'm not a big fan of the internet at large, but that's nothing new.

Speaker 1 Wait, I had another who's back. Fuck.

Speaker 5 Was it Cooper Flag?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so Cooper Flag, he's looking at UConn, is that right?

Speaker 5 Well, he moved up a class.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 So I think he's 2024 or 2025 now.

Speaker 1 Who's in that draft class, though?

Speaker 5 I don't know, but they're saying he can go to number one. Well, that would be the

Speaker 1 greatest call and pardon my take is.

Speaker 3 How can you move up a class?

Speaker 5 something with like color

Speaker 1 oh he's one of the september babies yeah so at uconn uconn would be awesome that's why i can't prove for him i'm i'm gonna ignore his entire season at duke and then take credit if he gets announced friday he's reclassifying from 2025 to 24 making him the new favorite to be number one pick in 2025.

Speaker 1 we did it boys

Speaker 1 so bad we're so close

Speaker 1 just a reminder uconn was a staple of his games kansas kentucky involved he'd be the first 1-1 white American since like 1977.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Cooper Flag out of Maine, of all places.
Shout out Maine, the Maniacs. That's crazy.
Yeah, please go to UConn, Cooper Flag. We will chip in an NIL deal.
I won't.

Speaker 1 I do not want to go to the United States. Oh, of course you won't.

Speaker 7 I hate UConn.

Speaker 5 You want him to go to Duke?

Speaker 9 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 I would love for him to go to Duke.

Speaker 9 Why would I want him to go to UConn?

Speaker 1 I also was just out of shock, like Max just chiming in there because Hank would not have been listening to the conversation about it. So I was like, whoa, what? Okay.

Speaker 9 There's also one more who's back.

Speaker 1 Oh. Who's that? James Harden is back.
What do you mean? He's not fat anymore?

Speaker 9 I mean, he's just doing the whole song and dance again. He said he's not coming to training camp.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. No duh.
Yeah. So.
But you want him.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, whatever. What do you mean, whatever?

Speaker 9 I think he's better than the alternative, but I think Daryl Moore is just just going to do the same Ben Simmons thing. By the way, he's just going to hold him.

Speaker 1 He's not going to play him. He's going to hold him.
What you just said is the most demoralizing place to be as a sports fan. I've been there many times.

Speaker 1 There's nothing worse in a sports argument than being like, he's better than the alternative.

Speaker 1 Because in your heart of heart, you know it's not going to work out, but you have to convince yourself some way. So you're like, well, what are we going to do otherwise? I've been there.
It sucks.

Speaker 9 I'm just going in. We're going to do the whole Ben Simmons thing again.

Speaker 3 Well, to all the haters out there that are saying James Harden isn't staying in great shape this offseason, he's going to show up looking fat, slobbingly, looking like maybe he's just been drunk on a boat for the last three months.

Speaker 3 That's bullshit because he's actually working very hard. He's in China right now, releasing his wine collection in China.
Oh, and he is on a boat getting drunk. Oh, no.
In China.

Speaker 3 Yeah, trying to sell his bottles of wine. So he is working hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's working hard. Oh, I remember what my other who's back was that lady's Rolex in Hawaii.
That rule. Did you see that? No.
Okay, so

Speaker 1 a New York Times reporter tweeted out a picture. I got to find it.
It's

Speaker 1 so tragedy in Hawaii. Like, I think 80 people died.
Like, really, really sad stuff. And this guy tweeted out a picture and a story, which

Speaker 1 I don't blame the woman. In the picture because, like, she, her house burned down.
I don't know where she's from, all that stuff. But again, people died in this tragedy.

Speaker 1 And he tweeted out like, all right, found it. It's

Speaker 1 this guy tweeted out, on Friday, Alicia Stratton searched desperately through the wreckage of

Speaker 1 her Lahana home for the Rolex watch her parents gave her when she graduated college. Suddenly, her fiancé pulled it from the ashes.
You found it, she said, choking up.

Speaker 1 It was damaged, but still legible. And then it's a zoom-in picture of her holding the watch, and she has a perfect manicure.

Speaker 1 It's while people are like,

Speaker 1 there was deaths and the guy was tweeted out about a Rolex.

Speaker 3 That seems like it, is she married to Ravel? Yeah. Is that Ravel's wife? That seems like something he would do.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I know a brick watch would have found itself.
Yeah. Yeah.
Doesn't get that way. Rolexes are back.
And it is very sad if anyone, there's a bunch of GoFundMes and stuff.

Speaker 1 I donated some. If you could donate, it's awful tragedy because a lot of people who live in Hawaii who are not looking for their Rolexes.

Speaker 1 They're looking for their pets or their loved ones, and it's a lot different.

Speaker 3 It's like the entire part of the island is just gone. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So Rolex is not really the paramount thing that people should be caring about right now.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our interview. Deion Dawkins.

Speaker 1 Incredible interview. This is a must-listen interview for AWLs.
He's going to be a recurring guest. Awesome, awesome interview.

Speaker 10 The pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 10 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 10 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is left tackle for the Buffalo Bills, the man who protects Josh Allen, Deion Dawkins.

Speaker 1 Thanks for joining us. For sure.

Speaker 1 I've read up a lot about you. I've heard stories about you.
You seem like a great guy who's got a lot of personality.

Speaker 1 But I want to start with you protecting Josh Allen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know how important of a role that is.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 8 the role is important in itself.

Speaker 8 I guess I'm getting credit, but I'm one of five, you know, so there's a whole unit of us that protect Josh.

Speaker 8 You know, if you want to look at the blind side, like from the movie and all of that stuff, then yes, I am the left tackle. I am the blind side.
I am the whatever you want to call the hurrah. But yes,

Speaker 8 Josh makes it very easy at times and he also makes it very hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So when he, we call it mashing all the buttons, when he decides that he's just going to do crazy shit.
Right.

Speaker 1 From your perspective, when he does that, are you like, wait, dude, we can't protect you if you're going to just start running people over?

Speaker 8 Josh is a wild card, man. Josh.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate the kid.

Speaker 1 I fucking hate him, bro.

Speaker 8 I fucking hate him and love him at the same time because Josh gets us out of trouble. And sometimes, like, he's just doing his own thing.
And he fucking,

Speaker 1 am I allowed to curse him? Yeah, yeah. Shit, fuck.
God damn it. God.
God fucking.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 Damn it. Oh, pussy.
All right.

Speaker 8 No, no, no, no. But

Speaker 8 Josh.

Speaker 8 Makes us all have heart attacks throughout the game over and over and over. Like when the world is watching and he's running and we're like, all right, here we go.

Speaker 8 Like literally the O-line, we look at each other and we're like, it's going to happen.

Speaker 8 It's going going to happen. And then he jumps over somebody or he runs through somebody and then he hits the ground and we're like,

Speaker 8 and then he's like, come on, guys, let's go. And we're like, you're a fucking freak.
You know, like, mutant for real, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, he is.
You said you'd give up every last finger for him.

Speaker 8 I would. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you kill for him. I would.
Would you die for him?

Speaker 1 We would.

Speaker 1 I'd die. I'd take a bullet.
I'd die for him.

Speaker 8 See, let's take a bullet.

Speaker 1 In my heart. Yeah.
In my brain. I'd take one in the temple.

Speaker 8 Right here or on the other side?

Speaker 1 Right here. Boom.

Speaker 8 Would I die die for Josh Allen?

Speaker 1 It's so easy to say yes. Fuck no.
Oh, okay. All right.
No, like, absolutely.

Speaker 8 I would die for him, man. He's he's done nothing but great things for me and my family.
And I take it personal. Like, I really take it personal.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like, when people do weird shit, I'm like, bro, listen, just calm the fuck down. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, but yeah, I'll die for him.

Speaker 3 Cut off every finger.

Speaker 1 If I had to,

Speaker 3 it would be smart because then you couldn't get called for holding anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Not at all.

Speaker 1 I can't even beat my dick.

Speaker 1 I'll be like this.

Speaker 1 Just make it like a ham, like a dick hamburger.

Speaker 1 Dick hamburger.

Speaker 1 Start nubbing the fuck out of it. You know what I'm saying? That should be funny as hell.

Speaker 1 Start nubbing the shit like you.

Speaker 8 Fucking Josh.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 No. No, for sure.

Speaker 3 Today's first day of pads. I got to ask, what do offensive linemen do when you're not wearing pads? What are those practices like?

Speaker 8 The crazy thing is for the world that's listening now, I think practice is harder without pads than it is with pads. Who? Because it's hard to differentiate from the trenches.

Speaker 8 When you're in the trenches, it's physical all of the time. It's just a standard of physical.

Speaker 8 Some plays, the defensive linemen will hit you and you'll be like, all right, that's a little bit like too much.

Speaker 8 And then the next play will get them, be like, boom, all right, see, we just got you back. So it's just like a ping ping-pong thing where it's like, we might as well just put the pads on.

Speaker 8 So, but the first day of pads is always lit.

Speaker 8 It's always a lot of what I call fuckery. It shits up and down the whole day.
Yeah. Guys are usually nervous, but

Speaker 8 I take it where it's harder the day before pads than it is during pads.

Speaker 3 Because you're thinking about getting into pads. You're thinking about being physical.
Right. The human body craves contact.
Craves it.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Economic.

Speaker 3 One of our first guests that we ever had on the show was a a guy that you played with for a while, Richie Incognito.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And so I've heard that you and Richie are very close. He was

Speaker 3 a big help for you when you got here, kind of like showed you how to be a professional. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That sort of thing, which is wild to think that Richie is like, here's how you be a professional, knowing what we know about Richie.

Speaker 8 What we all know about Richie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But you guys are like...

Speaker 3 You guys are thick as thieves, right?

Speaker 8 As what?

Speaker 3 Thick as thieves. You ever heard of that?

Speaker 8 No. You guys are boys.
That's my dog. Yeah.
Thick as thick.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Because I read the story that you're nicknamed the snowman. It is.

Speaker 1 Because you were shoveling snow when you were growing up. And that whole story was incredible.

Speaker 1 But you messed up a game and Richie Incognito came in the next day and was like, you don't snow shit, like giving you shit. It is true.
When that happened, were you like, uh-oh?

Speaker 1 Like, Richie's got his sights on me.

Speaker 8 Like, you know, a lot of people were scared of the dude.

Speaker 1 I didn't give, I seen right through Richie.

Speaker 8 I was like, you're a softy.

Speaker 8 You're a good dude, but you're a softy and you care. That's why you're saying that.
So,

Speaker 8 yeah, that definitely happened. He definitely came in and was like, you don't schnow shit,

Speaker 1 you blonde-haired motherfucker, like all type of stuff.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 8 yeah, but that's definitely how that bond connected, though. Yeah.
Cause once I was like, you know what? I like you. You know, like.
I can rock with it. And he's been real ever since.

Speaker 8 You know, I've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy, the crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And the good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So your story is incredible because from everything I read, there was definitely like a moment where your life could have gone one of two ways.

Speaker 1 I read the story and there was a stealing phase is what you called it yourself. Like you were just stealing stuff, bikes, everything.
Everything.

Speaker 1 Obviously, you don't steal, but calling it a stealing phase kind of rocks.

Speaker 1 But like, what was that?

Speaker 1 like light bulb that went off where you're like all right this is i got to stop doing this like i have real talent i have real things that i can contribute to the world i gotta change yeah I went through a phase in college too.

Speaker 8 I wounded up getting arrested in college for fighting.

Speaker 8 Defending your teammate.

Speaker 6 Defending. I read all about it for sure.

Speaker 1 You were, that was a ride or die move.

Speaker 8 It was. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And at that moment, I said,

Speaker 8 like, you know what?

Speaker 8 I really just need to kind of stay in the house until I, you know, cross this threshold.

Speaker 8 Because I've always been, been told, like, you know, like, Dion, like, you're a bigger guy, like you're really freakishly athletic, like your calves are humongous and, and all these, like, weird things.

Speaker 8 And I'm like, all right, bro, like you probably are just a coach just trying to brainwash me and just tell me just so I can fit through your program of system. And

Speaker 8 after that and situation at Temple, I was like, bro, I could be a millionaire in three years. Right.
Like a lot of kids are walking around campus thinking that, like, oh man, like I'm at Alabama, bro.

Speaker 8 Like, this is the best thing in life. But I had realized, I was like, bro, this is so fake life.
Like, we're on a full scholarship. We eat and for free.
Our clothes are for free.

Speaker 8 We get stipends and we're on campus with a bunch of girls and dudes and everybody and just in this one giant mosh pit. And it's like, this is not real.
So I realized that it wasn't real.

Speaker 8 It was more so like a fake life, how I seen it. And I was like, if I could just, you know, take a step back from all of this and just get what I have, took it done.

Speaker 1 life will be way more funner after this phase yeah life you know yeah i mean it's a great story it's you know a lot of people being open about like the things they went through i think it's it's great for people to read about and be like yeah this is people have two paths in life.

Speaker 1 You were literally looking down the other path and chose the one that got you here.

Speaker 8 For sure, multiple times. Yeah.
I'm thankful for the people that I had in my corner.

Speaker 8 Like I'm really thankful for Coach Rule because, you know, like a lot of people like want to go to them giant schools, right?

Speaker 8 Like everybody wants to go to Alabama and wants to go to Auburn and Texas and Tennessee. Bro, if I would have went to one of those schools, I would not be here today.
Right.

Speaker 8 Because there's so many kids that they could replace.

Speaker 8 It would have been over with at temple it was like oh deon is really kind of all we got so we gotta ride with him so yeah uh i was thankful for it you know like it comes at a time and a place where

Speaker 8 you know you have to think about are you a problem child or could there potentially be a problem and if there is are you gonna be in the right situation and have the right people to you know back you yeah i feel like that place is buffalo too buffalo buffalo is a great spot like do you like do you like the cold weather games you know i prefer the cold weather games over the hot ones that's a correct answer from a lot of people yeah that miami game was probably pretty tough.

Speaker 8 No, it was the hardest game ever. You know,

Speaker 8 it was a moment in my career where I was like,

Speaker 8 what the fuck am I doing?

Speaker 8 Like,

Speaker 8 this is the type of shit that can really kill you.

Speaker 8 It was so hot.

Speaker 8 I think there was only two offensive linemen that finished that game, and it was me and Roger Sappho. And if he would have went down,

Speaker 8 I think that my brain would have told me you need to go down too.

Speaker 8 Something happens.

Speaker 8 But josh kept kicking and i was like bro i don't know how we're doing this i felt like i wasn't even there bro like it was just like

Speaker 8 like every play it was just like just breathing and just grabbing so if there was holds there was probably a shit ton of them and they didn't call them because i was out of it yeah you know it was it was like scary yeah we were at that game the monday night game that you guys had up here against the patriots a couple years ago cold game the cold game yeah that seemed like a game that it might have been fun to be an offensive lineman it was it was freezing but it was fun Yeah.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that cold. We were at the game.

Speaker 8 Nah, it was fun.

Speaker 1 I took my shirt off. Yeah, I did too.
Nah, it was pretty cool. We were in the shot.

Speaker 3 Not sweet. Yeah.
It wasn't that cold in the sweet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sweet line.

Speaker 1 It's 72 degrees. It makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 It's so cold. We're like, we're fine.
It's actually warm.

Speaker 8 I had to take off my jacket.

Speaker 1 Did you want a beer? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Right. Watching you guys just out there just having to deal with all that shit.
Man, that was a crazy game.

Speaker 8 I liked it. I enjoyed it.
But the worst part about it, wait, was that? No, so I'm thinking about the Dolphins game, like when it was snowing, they were throwing snowballs.

Speaker 8 Throwing the snowballs, yeah, yeah, that one wasn't as cold. I think the Patriots was probably the coldest game of the year.

Speaker 8 No, the Bears. We played the Bears in Chicago.
Yes, now that was the coldest game. We had the hottest game of the year, and then to come back and play the coldest game.

Speaker 1 Did you go to the bar after with the team?

Speaker 1 We got stuck there, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we went to the bar.
Yeah, definitely was that. You want to thank me?

Speaker 8 That was you? Yeah. Wait, was it the bar or was it the strip club?

Speaker 1 It was the bar, not the strip club. I don't want to get into strip ball.

Speaker 1 Well, fuck, everybody was watching. We were at the strip club doing dollars at the titties.
What's the

Speaker 1 week? The club looked like on Christmas Eve.

Speaker 8 It was a bunch of shit.

Speaker 1 It was horrible, but Christmas Eve.

Speaker 8 It was like probably all of six or seven girls there.

Speaker 1 They were all like fucking Christmas Eve, yeah.

Speaker 8 They were all threes. It was tough.
And it was just like, here, take $20. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I was the bar. Facts.
So I got that. Perfect.
I was for a moment. Oh, yeah.
Like, we went to the bar first. Yeah, and then

Speaker 8 for a moment, I was like, I'm such a fan.

Speaker 1 If you guys win the, if if you win the Super Bowl, maybe I'll get like interviewed on NFL Films. I was like, this is the moment that your team came together.
It was.

Speaker 1 And then DeMar Hamlin happened like the week later.

Speaker 8 Also tragic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that I think that might have brought you guys together more.
Right. Yeah, but the strip club was

Speaker 1 no, it wasn't the strip club. I got to say.
The bar, strip club, DeMar.

Speaker 8 It was like a combination of

Speaker 1 trifecta.

Speaker 8 We're all in there to win.

Speaker 1 You know, the trifecta, dog.

Speaker 1 Because the titties definitely took a stance.

Speaker 8 I ain't never seen some of my guys.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? All right. So

Speaker 1 when we said we wanted to interview you, we're like, Deion Dawkins, everything I've heard, he's authentically him. Is like Sean McDermott, we've had him on a couple of times.

Speaker 1 We've just interviewed him. Does he let guys just be themselves? Because I think that is such a great sign for a coach.
You see me? Yeah.

Speaker 8 I am a nut, bro. I am a wild card.
And he allows me to be a wild card. Yeah.
So I appreciate him. He does let you be yourself, but it it comes with what it comes with, right?

Speaker 1 If

Speaker 8 you're just yourself and you're not performing and you're just a slap, then uh-uh, it doesn't work.

Speaker 8 You have to stack your chips and then, you know, handle your, your business and then let yourself show. Like I was myself from the jump, but I really came out with who I truly was.

Speaker 8 Once I started to like, you know, put my part in like to this team. Like I wasn't just like, hey, what's up?

Speaker 1 You you already snow

Speaker 8 like nah hold on slow it down you already snow with your boy and then came through and then it was like you already snow with your boy and then it just got already up

Speaker 8 it just got bigger and bigger but like you can show yourself let that be known that you got personality then put the work in on like on the field yeah and then slowly slowly you know just jab your like you're snow shit around the world yeah so it's just

Speaker 1 you know i love it the snow goes on the snow goes on i i love your quote about macaroni and cheese too stir that joan up yeah stir it up keep stirring it it's it's just like you famous like an engine yeah

Speaker 3 yeah and then cheese a truck they put it on the side of a box of craft macaroni and cheese right

Speaker 1 like stir it up stir it up make it wet make it wet

Speaker 8 that's probably though that's probably why like yeah craft craft new you know just keep it nice wet and juicy you know what i'm saying like like we've all been there like on a quick day in the afternoon like with the craft box it takes like five minutes or or less.

Speaker 8 Boil the water, put the noodles in, like, like in there, a little shot of milk, put the little powdered, nasty ass cheese, mix that joint up like this. It should start going.

Speaker 8 It starts making hella noise. It takes us in different places, but

Speaker 8 as a kid, like, you were lit. You know, you joke about it, put your finger in there, lick it a little bit.

Speaker 1 You nice way juicy.

Speaker 1 You're like a soundboard. This is great.

Speaker 3 Do you do any impressions of the guys on the team?

Speaker 1 Nah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Skip. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 8 running back coach.

Speaker 1 A little bit. You want to hear it a little bit? Yeah.

Speaker 8 So Skip, every year, we have a meeting and his job is to

Speaker 8 work the security of the ball.

Speaker 8 He's real short,

Speaker 8 real short, bald-headed dude, probably like all of five foot tall, you know and he walks up in the front he's like what's up guys you know what i'm saying and then he holds and the ball here and he's like yep you got to work the five points of pressure of the ball and i mean of the ball and then he just and then he goes like he's like yeah and then when you double in trouble

Speaker 8 never toss the ball from here to here you just gotta hold the ball like this right just like this and it's it's just you know and he flows but yeah i like it i don't even know the guy but that was

Speaker 8 perfect that was perfect We should call Skip.

Speaker 1 He'd be like, what's up, guys? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, Skip.

Speaker 1 What's up? Yeah, what's up?

Speaker 3 You listen to him when he talks about ball security because you catch passes.

Speaker 1 You have two touchdowns. I do have two teddies.
Yeah. No big deal.
I want to break the record.

Speaker 1 What's the record?

Speaker 8 I think it's six, if I'm correct. I think it's Donald Penn, if I'm correct.

Speaker 1 You can do it.

Speaker 3 I think more offensive linemen should actually do celebrations after a good play, like when they make a good block.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pancake block.

Speaker 8 They don't let us do shit, bro.

Speaker 3 But you can do it in the end zone when you score, but you can't do it after a good block.

Speaker 8 See, I think like it'll be funner on the line of scrimmage. Like, imagine if you cleaned somebody out on a pool or something like that, and you can just do like a Jeff Hardy, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, like some cool. That's what I'm saying.
Like, yeah, we can't do that.

Speaker 8 Like,

Speaker 1 personal taunting, you know, like, let us live.

Speaker 8 You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't get no shine.

Speaker 3 You knocked the guy out and they're like, flagged for making him feel bad.

Speaker 1 Facts. Yeah.
You stood over him.

Speaker 1 Like, duh, he's on the ground.

Speaker 1 i put him there

Speaker 1 like that's what the game is right you know like see like i'll be like trying to tell people right like football is like everybody wants their team to win oh we're gonna go to the super bowl block up block up block like everybody right

Speaker 1 that it's entertainment though

Speaker 1 it's it's it's yeah it's entertainment right like football is entertainment we are at work but like i think that At a point,

Speaker 8 multiple people should be able to be eligible, right? Like imagine if the center could, like, block and then come out and catch a pie. Yeah, make it fight.

Speaker 8 Or, like, if a left tackle could be in the middle of a pass pro and be like, and then turn. Or, like, you know, like, that should be dope.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be. That would be.

Speaker 8 Hey, NFL is the NFL. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Deion, this has been awesome. I know you have a meeting you got to go to.
I don't want you to be late because you'll probably get in trouble. You're fine.
Just tell them that it was us. Is it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tell them that it was us.

Speaker 8 Got some time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But

Speaker 1 it'd be all right. Like, I had everyone pointing to me, being like, Dion's got to be late.
You just tell Sean McDermott that you were with us.

Speaker 8 You know, I would take this charge.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would take this warning so you guys have as much time as you want. Yeah.
The guys in the back are freaking out. They're like, what the fuck? What's that? I like you guys.
So what the fuck?

Speaker 8 I would take this charge.

Speaker 3 So what's the fine for being late to a meeting training? Warning.

Speaker 8 First one is just a warning. Okay.

Speaker 1 And you haven't gotten a warning yet? Zero. Okay.

Speaker 3 It's day one of pads.

Speaker 1 This is this is like you give and you take.

Speaker 8 This is something that

Speaker 8 it's worth it.

Speaker 11 All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Speaker 11 Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's Cookies and Cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

Speaker 11 One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

Speaker 11 One also has other delicious flavors flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com.

Speaker 1 What's it like being back in the dorms? Is it weird? Not at all, bro. Really? You like it?

Speaker 8 Bro, I was a guy, you know? So, like, going back to the dorms, it just brings me back to all the fuckery that goes on.

Speaker 8 But here, they make it so elite because, like, you would think that we're all on twin-sized beds, but we're not. Like, we're all on like kings sometimes.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 8 They feel like California kings. Like, I'd be stretched, you know, and the room is smaller, so it's ice cold in there.
You got your own little shitter. Like, you're good.
That's perfect.

Speaker 3 Josh made it seem like you guys were in prison. He was trying to show off how gritty he was.

Speaker 1 I mean, Josh, Josh makes 250 million.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, it's just shitty for him. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 8 Golden toilets and jumping over guys. You know, he gets to see himself with holograms, which makes a piss.

Speaker 1 You make a good amount of money.

Speaker 1 You make it, what is it, 60 million you signed for? I got some bread when you inked that was it i mean was it everything that you ever dreamed of and more

Speaker 8 it was yes i like i can't yes it was a life-changing experience just from a pen you know like just once that pen when you finish your signature boom that money is is is there you know but

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 8 you enjoy it in the moment And then when you have it, it kind of puts like a, like a huge amount of stress on you. Like, holy fuck, like, I'm the guy now.

Speaker 8 Like, i can't up i'm the guy this is the dion's supposed to be this this this this this and then you kind of just settle in and then you chase another one yeah yeah is that weird having i always think that that would be weird if you're a professional athlete and everybody out there knows what your salary is it's it's dumb yeah

Speaker 8 but i guess like in the athletic world like it it separates players but like i just think it would be fair if everybody's shit was like

Speaker 8 on display. Like, I want to know what the coach makes.
I want to know what the GM makes. I want to know what the coaches make.
Like our individual coaches. I want to know what the stream coach makes.

Speaker 8 I want to know everything.

Speaker 1 We make $75,000 an episode.

Speaker 3 I was going to say it's actually $80,000 now. $80,000.

Speaker 1 And three board apes. Yeah, three board apes.

Speaker 8 And what? Three board apes.

Speaker 1 The NFTs. Oh, wow.
My board apes every single, every single episode. Yeah.
That's fine. Stacked apes.
It's sick.

Speaker 8 So, like, what do you guys do?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Yes.

Speaker 8 But, like, with your cash.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 we get $75,000 in a bag handed to us after every episode. Oh, yes.

Speaker 3 Good job. Where do we invest it?

Speaker 1 Oh, like what do you do with it? Oh, yeah, I guess invest it, but like you guys do

Speaker 3 like anything fun, I turn it into more apes. Okay, and pretty soon I'm gonna have all the apes again.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna be an ape slayer.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm gonna be an ape monopoly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's gonna be a border of apes. Yeah, yeah.
No, we don't do, I don't do, I don't really spend a lot of money.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I um, what kind of car do you drive?

Speaker 1 Dog food, Mercedes.

Speaker 8 What kind of Mercedes?

Speaker 1 Uh, GLS 450. Nice.
What about you?

Speaker 3 I got a Jeep Wrangler and

Speaker 3 4xE.

Speaker 3 How big are your tires? They're 24s. Okay.

Speaker 1 So I guess car. Nice.
But everything else is just like, yeah, I try to make enough money that I can lose it gambling. Facts.
Yeah, it's a nice life. All right.
Well, Dion, this has been awesome, man.

Speaker 1 You're a recurring guest now, so we got to have you back on. Appreciate you.
You're the best. When we saw this interview, we're like, this is going to rule.
Love, bro. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're coming back. Thanks for everything.
For sure. Thanks, man.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 12 Ball's here. Kids are back in school.
Vacations are over. And cozy season is officially on.
You know what that means? Bombas season is on.

Speaker 12 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 12 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 12 And if you head over to bombus.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

Speaker 1 We're doing the Mount Rushmore of things that are not real

Speaker 1 in honor of Tiffany Gomez, plane lady who finally emerged after months of not

Speaker 1 being around. I don't know.
She did it. She made a really weird video.

Speaker 3 I thought it was a great video.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, she looked great in it.

Speaker 1 She like apologized. No apology necessary.

Speaker 3 Listen, if you in your heart of hearts believe that there's somebody who's a not real motherfucker on a plane, you should say something. If you see something, say something.
Right.

Speaker 3 If there's a reptilian on the plane, I want to know. I find it interesting that we haven't gotten the other camera angle to show exactly who she was pointing at.
Right. We don't know.
We don't know.

Speaker 3 She might be right. In fact, I think she is right.
I've reached out to her. I said, hey, Tiffany, big fan.
Let's take a stand together versus online bullying because she's been bullied over this.

Speaker 3 She's been bullied over getting kicked off an airplane and delaying a flight for a couple hundred people, whatever. Who amongst us hasn't done that?

Speaker 1 And so I invite her kara to come on part of my take and discuss love it i also uh i'm of the belief she delayed that flight she saved all their lives something would have happened yeah if it had gone off as planned you never know the domino theory right butterfly effect so tiffany gomez you're our queen um

Speaker 1 yeah i like her a lot as a person i think she's really smart yeah right i i like her brain i do too she's she's just something about her i really i really like her um I feel like I can trust her.

Speaker 1 I like her more than a friend.

Speaker 3 I can trust her. I can just, you get a sense when you look at somebody whether or not you like her.

Speaker 1 And I'm looking at you.

Speaker 1 And I like her. I like her a lot.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Mont Rushmore, things that are not real.

Speaker 3 She's also real. So strong.

Speaker 1 So strong.

Speaker 1 She's strong. She's very strong.
You can see her traps.

Speaker 3 That's a strong woman.

Speaker 1 You don't wear that type of cut shirt if you're not strong. She's strong.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Mont Rushmore, things that are not real. What's the updated

Speaker 5 statement? Big Con PFT with 23, and the rest of the team's tied with 21.

Speaker 1 All right, it's getting tight. I think that cuts, right? Three weeks.

Speaker 7 We're ending right for your labor days.

Speaker 1 Yes, three weeks left.

Speaker 7 Nine left.

Speaker 5 Okay, the order is Hank and Max, Big Con PFT, me, Billy.

Speaker 3 Okay, so Hank is not here, so it's just Max.

Speaker 9 Hank is freaking out.

Speaker 1 Are you putting him on speakerphone? Do you want me to? Yeah, you can. All right.

Speaker 3 If he'll pick up.

Speaker 9 No, he, oh, he's texted me five times during this recording recording asking if I'm cooking.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 9 All right, FaceTiming him.

Speaker 1 Hank's on vacation for anyone who didn't realize, but that was assumed. Anytime he's not here, it's vacation.

Speaker 3 I just also want to say that with Tiffany Gomez, I would like her to be in person. I think it'd be a better interview if she was in person.

Speaker 1 And maybe over dinner. We'll do our first dinner.
We'll just talk about it. Our first dinner part of my tank.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank's there.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Hey, Hank.

Speaker 9 Can you hear them, Hank?

Speaker 1 He's can't hear them.

Speaker 9 All right, he's not saying anything. I think he legitimately just wants to listen.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, well, Hank's listening, being a creep. I was going to ask Hank's thoughts on Tiffany Gomez as a person.

Speaker 9 Hank, what are your thoughts on Tiffany Gomez as a person?

Speaker 1 Nothing. Wow.

Speaker 9 Yeah, we got nothing. Hank wouldn't smash.

Speaker 1 Put it out. Put it out.
Hank would pass. Wow.
All right, more for us. Okay.

Speaker 9 1-1.

Speaker 9 Would.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, he said he would.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Please update all the press releases and change it. Hank would smash.

Speaker 1 1-1. Birds.
Not real. Birds.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 3 A little unoriginal, but that's fine. All right.

Speaker 1 That's what this is about.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 go off on that. What do you mean that birds aren't real?

Speaker 9 Birds aren't real.

Speaker 9 They're a government plant.

Speaker 1 So you're just reading this guy's website now?

Speaker 9 And, I mean, there was a whole movement about it. Yeah, it was.
Have you ever seen a bunch of birds go on?

Speaker 3 It's in a parody? Yeah, it was satire. It was satire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Birds aren't real. Have you ever seen them on telephone wires?

Speaker 3 That's them charging. I kind of like that part.

Speaker 1 That's them charging.

Speaker 9 That is the best thing of...

Speaker 9 If I'm on a road trip, that's something that I will always say. If you see birds on a little cable line, it's like, oh, yeah, that's them charging.

Speaker 1 That's them charging. Okay.

Speaker 3 You've never seen a baby pigeon, right?

Speaker 9 Wait, I think Hank's trying to say something.

Speaker 1 You've never seen a baby bird.

Speaker 9 You've never seen a baby pigeon.

Speaker 1 I've seen lots of baby pigeons. So many baby birds.

Speaker 1 Lori Marketing.

Speaker 3 There's tons of baby birds.

Speaker 9 No, you've never seen one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 R1-1 is easy.

Speaker 3 So easy.

Speaker 1 Should you say at the same time,

Speaker 1 three, two, one.

Speaker 3 The female orgasm.

Speaker 1 Not real. Not real.
Not real. Not real.

Speaker 3 Big orgasm has been lying to you guys.

Speaker 1 Girls don't come. They don't.

Speaker 1 And to pretend that they do is a slap in our face.

Speaker 3 They just do it because they'd like to make us feel feel bad for coming too quick.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. They can do the whole, you know, moans and everything, but let's be honest.
Let's get real honest here. That's just not real.
Guys come, girls don't.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was probably a clitoris sitting in the back row of that airplane. That's not real.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. I'm out of here.
Exactly. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And they make you feel bad about the whole non-orgasm thing, but really, they're just doing that knowing that in their heart of hearts, there is no female orgasm.

Speaker 1 it just doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 And squirts just pee.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got it on your list. You got a new list? Yeah.
Nice. Well, Mr.
Positions, you probably. Yeah.
If anyone can crack the case, you're Oppenheimer. You're like staying over here.

Speaker 1 Put him in a lab in New Mexico. Mr.
Positions will find a female orgasm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Is Billy contributing anymore? Yeah. Oh, he is.
He's active in the group chat. Nice.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he have birds?

Speaker 7 Yes. Okay.
That was.

Speaker 5 Actually, no, that was meme's recommendation.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 We're going to go with Mantaiteo's girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Good pick.

Speaker 1 Not real.

Speaker 3 Good pick. Good pick.
We did not have that.

Speaker 1 That was Billy. Yeah.
It's a great pick. Good pick.
But actually, it was real to him. She was real.

Speaker 1 She was just a he

Speaker 1 saying that. Yeah, no, I mean, like, technically, he was talking to a person.

Speaker 5 That is true.

Speaker 7 But Manta Teo's girlfriend.

Speaker 3 It was not Linnae Kikua. Yes.
Yes. Correct.

Speaker 5 And then we're going to go with the moon landing.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay.
Not real. Hmm.

Speaker 3 Interesting. Dallas Goddard.

Speaker 1 You want anything else on that?

Speaker 3 Jay, do you believe the moon landing is real?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 you just took it in things that aren't real.

Speaker 9 Because it's things that most people wouldn't think are.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Interesting.
I think we go with our, with two, PFT.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Go ahead.
Do it. All right.

Speaker 3 Number two on this list.

Speaker 3 The in-stadium mile per hour numbers for pitchers on the home team.

Speaker 1 Not real. Not real.

Speaker 3 It's always like

Speaker 3 five miles per hour higher than they really are.

Speaker 1 There's no chance that's real.

Speaker 5 You cannot. In-stadium MPH for the home.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 1 As a side pick, StatCast is not real as well. For home team pitcher.
Yep. Yep.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 5 The in-stadium MPH for home team.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Good. So us? Yep.

Speaker 9 First one, we're going to go with women pooping.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Not real.
Not real. They don't do it.
Or come. Yep.
Yep. Got it.

Speaker 9 This is a big women aren't real. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, except Tiffany Dominic.

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah, she's real.

Speaker 1 She could poop on me.

Speaker 9 And then the next one, really the OG conspiracy, Tupac's death.

Speaker 1 Oh. Not real.
Oh. I like that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Is Hank listening to this?

Speaker 9 Yes, he's listening.

Speaker 9 We're sending some texts.

Speaker 1 Okay, because I have a third.

Speaker 1 I think we should go

Speaker 1 now we unleash it.

Speaker 1 Okay, things that are not real.

Speaker 1 Henry Lockwood's resume when applying to barstool sports.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 5 I guess that'll take down the

Speaker 3 anonymous.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? What does that mean?

Speaker 1 I have it right here.

Speaker 1 First of all, Hank, when is your birthday?

Speaker 1 June 13th. Okay, so in June 13th, 2013, how old were you?

Speaker 1 19. Okay, so on your resume, it was dated May 15th, 2013.

Speaker 1 And he wrote, I'm a 20-year-old stoolie through and through.

Speaker 1 He also spelled the word guarantee, G-A-R-U-N-T-E-E.

Speaker 1 And then we get to the brass tacks here. He says, more importantly, I am soon to be graduating from Boston University Center for Digital Imaging Arts.
Is that that university real?

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not real anymore. And then he says,

Speaker 1 What does this mean for you and your campaign?

Speaker 1 It means that I have the skills, the equipment, and the manpower necessary to write, produce, and edit any kind of video you can possibly imagine or want to get made in any location at any time and make it look professional for free.

Speaker 1 Hank, how much are all back?

Speaker 1 No, they are not.

Speaker 1 How much equipment did you have?

Speaker 1 I had unlimited equipment.

Speaker 1 From where?

Speaker 1 From where?

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 Boston University Center for Digital Center. That wasn't real.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was. No, it doesn't.
You can't find it right now.

Speaker 1 He goes on.

Speaker 3 Wait, Hank, I'm curious.

Speaker 3 It's Northwestern.

Speaker 1 We got unaccredited.

Speaker 1 No, no. Northwestern still exists.
This place doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 Hank, would you say that

Speaker 3 you had all the manpower necessary? How much manpower did you have?

Speaker 1 Yeah, me.

Speaker 1 I am also training and experience in motion graphics. Is that true?

Speaker 3 Is that video? Does that just mean videos?

Speaker 1 Color correction to ensure the quality of the video is top-notch. Everyone can go watch the combine video.
This is where all of these skills were on display.

Speaker 1 And then he finally says at the end, this part is real. Part of it is real.

Speaker 1 I'm attaching my demo reel that I give to the corporations.

Speaker 1 How many corporations did you give it to?

Speaker 1 The Museum of Science. When applying at their companies, as well as my resume and my Gronk the World video I made before I went to film school along with the buddies, my buddies that shows deep down.

Speaker 1 I'm just a movie junkie stoolie and Lit loves to smash it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that wasn't real.

Speaker 1 The Gronk the World video was so real. That part was real, but everything else was just a lie on this resume.

Speaker 1 That's a terrible pick, but that's fine. No, it's a great pick because you know.

Speaker 1 I mean, everything has whatever. That's a terrible pick.
You did not have the manpower. He had unlimited manpower.
Unlimited manpower and all of the

Speaker 1 to produce and edit any kind of video you can possibly imagine or want to get made in any location at any time and make it look professional for free. Hank?

Speaker 1 That's facts. Okay.
All right. That's our pick.
Good pick.

Speaker 5 Henry Lockwood's resume when applying to Barcelona Sports.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 As a 19-year-old saying he's 20.

Speaker 3 Guaranteed.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Our last two. We're first going to go with the 2020 NBA Bubble Championship.

Speaker 1 Oh, good pick. Good pick.
That's a good pick.

Speaker 3 Good pick. Was that you, Jake?

Speaker 5 That was memes.

Speaker 3 Good pick, memes. Good pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's...

Speaker 5 Everyone talks about Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's not real. It didn't happen.

Speaker 5 Do you guys think you'd be saying it if LeBron didn't win?

Speaker 1 No, not at all. Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 First time, Jake? First time hitter in this show?

Speaker 1 I mean.

Speaker 1 Welcome, Jake.

Speaker 5 Yeah, if your teams want it, you'd be saying it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 A million percent.

Speaker 1 It would say it's the hardest shot to yes. Exactly.

Speaker 3 We'd make a bigger banner.

Speaker 1 Who won the.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is Hank saying?

Speaker 9 Are you saying something, Hank?

Speaker 1 Okay. This is...

Speaker 1 This just shows that Hank does not trust you whatsoever.

Speaker 9 No, he does. He's been tweeting.
We're good. We're good.
He's let me cook. Okay.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 5 Our final pick is Epstein killing himself.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay.
Good pick, Billy. Okay.
Good pick.

Speaker 1 No, Billy. Memes.
Oh, memes. Yeah.
Okay. This is a title.

Speaker 1 If Billy is helping, you shouldn't get memes, too.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't know Billy was still helping. It should just be you and Billy.
Okay. No more memes.
Bye, memes. See you memes.
I mean, memes was supposed to be in place of Billy.

Speaker 1 I thought it wasn't.

Speaker 3 Well, I think we put memes on the team with the understanding that Billy will probably not help.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. If Billy doesn't contribute, you can ask memes.
If he does, go Billy.

Speaker 5 Like, if I ask Billy and he ghosts me, then I can contribute to it.

Speaker 1 Correct. Yes, correct.
Correct. Fair.
All right, PFT, what do we want to do? I like 14.

Speaker 3 14 is great. 14, 4.

Speaker 3 Let's go 14. Okay.

Speaker 1 McDonald's fries, calories when eating them in the car.

Speaker 1 Those aren't real.

Speaker 3 Not even real food.

Speaker 1 Don't count them at all. Especially the bottom of the bag, the extra fries.

Speaker 3 And double, especially as you're driving.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 I was thinking of just saying like calories overall calories are fake right right but these especially like you get a side fry for the car that doesn't count you like if you ate a side fry it's kind of like going to like costco or sam's club if you get a bunch of the free samples and then you walk out you're like yeah i haven't eaten anything

Speaker 3 that doesn't count if you have you can also have the fries like in your garage after you get home and you're waiting to go in the house it's very similar to eating anything at your kitchen counter standing up.

Speaker 1 Those aren't in front of the fridge. In front of the fridge.
Yeah, you're just not.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Tony Soprano never ate a cold cut in his life.

Speaker 1 Right, right. If you ask me, like, did you eat today? I actually didn't eat anything.

Speaker 9 If the fridge is still open, still open, then there's no calories.

Speaker 3 There's a great scene in the Sopranos where I think Tony is, he's getting broken up with. Carmella like divorces him.
Says, like, I'm moving out.

Speaker 3 And Tony's at the fridge, and he just goes back to eating the cold cuts, but like, sadly, at the fridge. Yeah.
Just divorce cold cuts. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, your last pick? Taxes.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. Disavow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm going to disagree with that.

Speaker 3 I pay extra taxes. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but they're not real.

Speaker 1 You guys had a good draft going in that one. That might have fucked you.
Yeah. Actually, no, I think

Speaker 1 Jake had the best draft. Jake had a good one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, memes.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 1 Memes had the best draft.

Speaker 5 Three of the four were Billies.

Speaker 3 It'd be a real shame if you tagged the IRS in this draft.

Speaker 1 Two of the four.

Speaker 1 Actually, birds was a bad pick. That's just amazing.
What do you mean?

Speaker 9 That's like the most internet thing of all time.

Speaker 1 Right. Go birds.

Speaker 3 You're fucking Eagles.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Yeah, you can't say go birds.

Speaker 1 Not real. You can't say go birds.
Yes, I can.

Speaker 3 No, the birds are fraudulent.

Speaker 9 No, I can say go birds.

Speaker 1 Go fakes. I have a.
All right, so let's do honorable mentions.

Speaker 9 I have some honorable mentions.

Speaker 1 Do you have ones that Hank wouldn't let you say?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yes, you do. I have a spicy one that

Speaker 1 doesn't make any sense, but I'll just say it.

Speaker 3 I don't think shark attacks are real.

Speaker 1 Well, they're very rare. I just don't think they're real.
They're very rare. I think someone

Speaker 1 hits their leg on a coral reef or something.

Speaker 3 Sharks have a great marketing team where every time there's like two shark attacks a year, and then it's just national news. I don't believe them.

Speaker 1 I don't believe them. I do not think they're real.

Speaker 5 I think someone's bad AWLs who have been bitten by a shark.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're a bad swimmer. So you're a shark attack survivor.
You're a bad swimmer.

Speaker 3 I would love to get bitten by a shark.

Speaker 5 If you're an AWL that bitten by a shark, tag me in your story.

Speaker 1 Great, and I'll be in your proof.

Speaker 1 It's fake what happened. You probably stubbed your toe and then overreacted.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine how sick that would be, though, for the rest of your life? You're in a bar, you're wearing shorts, you've got just a bite mark on your cap. Of course, it'd be amazing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's not real.

Speaker 1 I said it was a hot take. All right, Max, give us the ones that you.

Speaker 9 I really wanted to do today's version of Avril Levine.

Speaker 1 Oh, good pick.

Speaker 9 Hank also.

Speaker 9 Wind was another one that probably wouldn't have looked good on a graphic, but yeah.

Speaker 1 DeMar Hamlin.

Speaker 9 Yeah, DeMar Hamlin, not real.

Speaker 9 Hank liked money.

Speaker 3 Okay, money and taxes, both not real.

Speaker 1 Oh, the good one actually would have been Bitcoin. That shit's not real.

Speaker 3 Hank's low-key right about money not being real, though.

Speaker 9 You said you just spend it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want Hank to be the fucking, just give us an econ class one day. Maybe next.
I'll put a reminder in. Hank's econ class,

Speaker 1 July

Speaker 1 26th, 2024.

Speaker 5 That's Friday, Thursday, the 25th.

Speaker 1 Yep, perfect. Hank's econ class.
I want him to just

Speaker 5 contact when we forget about this.

Speaker 3 No, just Hank teaches us about the economy.

Speaker 1 Hank teaches all his thoughts on the economy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Hank teaches Austin Econ.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 I had aircraft carriers. Yep.
They weigh over 220 million pounds and they float somehow. And we're supposed to believe this.
Yep.

Speaker 3 You land airplanes on them and they float.

Speaker 1 Similar to that I had clouds clouds being one billion pounds.

Speaker 3 That's not real. That's the total weight for every cloud?

Speaker 1 For an average cloud. An average fully grown cloud.

Speaker 3 An average cloud weighs a billion pounds.

Speaker 1 Not a Wander Franco cloud. An average adult cloud.

Speaker 9 Hank just texted me flying whales.

Speaker 1 Flying whales. Oh, flying whales across the country.
Oh, right.

Speaker 9 I was thinking of like whales jumping

Speaker 1 whales with like wings.

Speaker 5 We're always reminded this. Yeah.
The yellow line. Watching a football game.

Speaker 1 Not yellow line.

Speaker 7 It's not real. Not official.

Speaker 1 It's not official. Yeah, yeah, the yellow line.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Immitt Smith, when he played for the Cardinals, that never happened.

Speaker 1 The other one is Jerry Rice for the Seahawks. That never, definitely never happened.

Speaker 3 Andre Johnson played for the Titans.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That didn't happen.
That did not happen. That one's crazy.
Who did T.O. play for at the end? He played on the Bengals and the Bills.
Did he play on the Niners? No, well, he played on the Niners.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. He was good on the Niners.
He was okay on the Bills, I think.

Speaker 1 The Bengals was very weird.

Speaker 3 The Bengals was very weird.

Speaker 1 Seahawks. I had a weird practice.

Speaker 1 Larry Fitzgerald has more tackles than drop passes. It's unreal.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 LeBron playing 20-plus seasons in the NBA without a significant injury.

Speaker 3 That's just interesting.

Speaker 1 That's not real. That's interesting.
That is not real. That's not God-given.
That's not real.

Speaker 3 Any others? Magic eye posters.

Speaker 1 Magic eye posters are not real.

Speaker 3 I lied for so long and said that I could see them. I'd be like, oh, yeah, I see the giraffe.
Never seen a magic eye in my life. Nope.

Speaker 1 Nope. Max, do you have others?

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 I think that's it. Okay.
This is a fun one.

Speaker 3 Shohei Otani.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not real.
Not real. Not real.

Speaker 8 Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Anytime an athlete does something insane, that's not real life.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Hank, would you like to keep listening?

Speaker 3 Hank? I think he checked out. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He was putting in overtime. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's got an umbrella in his drink sitting back right now.

Speaker 3 I think Hank's got one of those apps on his phone where it disconnects him if he works for too long. It's like the screen time app, but for any sort of like

Speaker 3 actual employment type responsibility that he's doing.

Speaker 1 Tiger Woods just entire career is not real.

Speaker 3 It's very unreal.

Speaker 3 That one stretch that he had was unreal.

Speaker 1 Like 144

Speaker 1 tournaments without missing a cut is fucking insane. Yeah, there's some weird stats out there that are very unreal.

Speaker 1 You just look at them and you're like, how is this fucking possible?

Speaker 3 Barry Bond stats. Barry Bond stats.
There's a lot of those, yeah.

Speaker 1 Tony Gwynn stats. Those are all unreal.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Good Mount Rush. Oh, Doc Ellis throwing a no-hitter on acid.
Yes. That's crazy.
That's crazy unreal.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 That might be the most impressive athletic feat of all time.

Speaker 1 Didn't he have like 11 walks? He walked a shitload of people because he was tripping balls. I know.

Speaker 1 Because if he had thrown a perfect game, I'd be like, that didn't happen.

Speaker 1 But the fact that he threw in.

Speaker 3 It's like Nolan Ryan's no-hitters. He's got so many of them because he would rather walk a guy than throw him like a meatball down the middle of the plate.

Speaker 1 I'm going to look up Doc Ellis' no-hitter.

Speaker 9 Will Chamberlain's sex numbers?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that is unreal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no way.

Speaker 1 There's no way. All right, Doc Ellis, no-hitter.

Speaker 1 How many walks?

Speaker 1 God, it's so hard to find old baseball stats.

Speaker 1 Eight walks. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's perfect. Solid no-hitter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's so wild. Eight walks.

Speaker 3 That's way more impressive than, I don't know, some guy that just gets traded to your team throwing a no-hitter.

Speaker 9 The game four of the World Series.

Speaker 1 Not real.

Speaker 3 Oh, no hitter?

Speaker 1 How many wins are? I don't do well with votes.

Speaker 5 That's just a huge thing.

Speaker 9 Yeah, well, that's, I mean, should be mentioned at least.

Speaker 1 At least should be mentioned. That wasn't real.
That wasn't a real no-hitter.

Speaker 3 So you guys won that game.

Speaker 9 No, but it wasn't a real no-hitter.

Speaker 1 Combined no-hitters.

Speaker 9 Yeah, combined no-hitters should be a different stat.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 if we want to do sports memories, the Eagles players saying they got a piece of Cody Parky's

Speaker 1 football, blocked it. That's not real.

Speaker 1 I saw that going viral on TikTok recently.

Speaker 9 It was just like the last three minutes. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Just always does. Okay, let's finish up with some Johnny Manzel.

Speaker 13 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boar's Head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 13 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 6 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 13 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd.

Speaker 13 Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 We watched the documentary. Yeah, it was good.

Speaker 3 I liked it. It was very good.

Speaker 1 I had memory hold a lot of all that stuff that went on with him.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So it starts out in Scottsdale, and the first thing that you see is Johnny Menzel drinking a beer. Yeah.
And then that's also how it ends, too. Jake spoiled that for us last time.
Spoiler.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But Johnny, when he was at college station, it's kind of crazy to think that he did not get recruited really to Texas, but that was in the Mac Brown heyday, where they had in Texas, I think over the course of three seasons, they had Johnny Manzel, Robert Griffin, and Andrew Luck.

Speaker 3 And Mac Brown did not offer any of them a scholar. I think Mac Brown offered Johnny Manzel and Robert Griffin to play at Texas as safeties,

Speaker 3 not as quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 The part about his high school was crazy because I didn't know all that, but his senior year, he had 75 touchdowns in 12 games.

Speaker 1 And because of blowouts, he only played four total games, four full games to the end. Like, I went and looked back at his

Speaker 1 entire

Speaker 1 high school career. He had 127 touchdowns in 26 games, his junior and senior year, 4.8 touchdowns a game.
That must have been so much fun.

Speaker 3 It was probably so much fun for him. And then his goal when he was in high school, he just wanted to play college football.
Yeah. He wasn't looking past that.

Speaker 3 So he was like, I just want to play at a big-time school, have fun playing football with my friends in college. And then anything past that, he didn't really consider.

Speaker 3 But his freshman year at AM was just fucking insane.

Speaker 3 That was AM's first season in the SEC, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was insane. Insane, crazy season.
I had forgotten just how much, how quickly it all happened because the freshman winning the highs would have never been done.

Speaker 1 The Bama game, which was perfect, that we had the Mark May.

Speaker 1 I wish we still had him on TV. Yeah.
Yeah. There is 0% chance Texas AM can win this game.
And then Johnny Menzel goes to Tuscaloosa with his 14-point underdogs, wins that game.

Speaker 1 And it was like everything from that moment on, his life completely changed.

Speaker 1 It did make me feel a little bad about how much it's thankfully the NIL exists now, but like the whole part about him and Uncle Nate, his friend Nate, who that was sad that they don't talk.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Nate seemed like a ride or die dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, also Nate being like, we had a saying at Tex A ⁇ M, win or lose, we still booze. Like, I think that's a saying everywhere.
No, they invented that. It started there.
That was very funny.

Speaker 1 But it made me feel really bad watching Johnny Menzel explain it. And, like, it is complete bullshit.
How much money they built an entire new stadium.

Speaker 1 They were selling millions and millions off his name, image, and likeness, and he was getting zero dollars. And the fact that they

Speaker 1 I watched the documentary, and I didn't, I, that was the first time I had learned that his dad wasn't oil rich. Yeah, that was shocking.

Speaker 3 A great, great story that they planted.

Speaker 1 How did no journalists look into that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, so at the time, Johnny was taking like private jets all across the country. He was sitting courtside at NBA games.
He was everywhere.

Speaker 3 And everybody was like, How come Johnny Menzel is able to afford to do all this stuff? And they were just like,

Speaker 3 we're going to leak to the media that his dad's rich as fuck and that he grew up with this money. And then everybody was just like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 So Johnny Menzel is just independently wealthy. No, he's making a shitload of money sending autographs.
And it is like the definition of a victimless crime. Yeah.
It's not even a crime.

Speaker 3 Like the NCAA, and you see what's going on with Harbaugh right now. The NCAA, much like the NFL, at least used to do this, they think that they are a branch of law enforcement.

Speaker 3 They didn't break any laws. Yeah.
Manzel didn't break any laws. He just broke a bunch of bullshit rules.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, you can't, like you said, get him on the taxes and all that. Right.
Who taxes aren't really.

Speaker 3 AM, I think they made over $700 million in donations after his freshman year, which is almost twice as much as they've ever raised in one season.

Speaker 3 So you could say Johnny Menzel probably directly responsible for about $350 million worth of gifts to Texas AM.

Speaker 1 And making their entire introduction to the SEC work. Yes.

Speaker 3 And he got paid $0 off that. And of course, he's going to find some way on the side to make a little bit of money.
And then they just stonewalled everybody.

Speaker 3 And he got to spend for, was it one quarter or two quarters against rice? Yeah. And that was his punishment, which is a very funny punishment.

Speaker 3 But you brought up Mark May and being able to watch those guys on TV. That was such a treat back in the day.
Mark May

Speaker 3 and Lou Holt.

Speaker 3 It was like watching two guys with two dogs with a debilitative brain injury, just just like barking in different languages and spitting on each other. It's the best.

Speaker 3 And they never made a lick of sense with anything that they said. Probably set the record for being the wrongest that anybody will ever be on TV.

Speaker 3 And they did it on a weekly basis for like, I don't know, 15 years. It was great TV.

Speaker 1 And it was great TV. Great TV.
But yeah, the whole thing was, I mean, just watching it from his angle.

Speaker 1 Obviously, the Browns chapter, there was some self-sabotage, which he admitted to, like the zero minutes watching tape.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the Texan M part, like just how quickly it happened and how like he just couldn't even go out of his house and the expectations on him and he couldn't make any money, all that stuff was just insane to watch because I had memory hold a lot of it as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like he was, he was one of the most defining, like fun athletes to watch in college football history.

Speaker 3 He was like the anti-Tebow too. Yeah.
We were just getting over Tebow being like, you know, Captain America at Florida.

Speaker 3 And that was like the standard that you set for, okay, this is what a great college quarterback looks like right now.

Speaker 3 And then Johnny Manzela comes in, does everything completely like 180 degrees different from Thebow. He was like the bad boy.
He was fun to root for.

Speaker 3 And then, like I said earlier, he never thought about going to the NFL. So he gets to the NFL.
It's not fun anymore. Not enjoying anything.
Doesn't really work. In fact,

Speaker 3 the only play that I really remember of Johnny on the Browns is the play that he ran with Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 3 Where Kyle Shanahan was screaming at him on the field like Johnny forgot to play, calls him over the sidelines, and then runs him down the field as a receiver.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that play didn't count, but it was an awesome play.

Speaker 1 It was an awesome play.

Speaker 3 And yeah, the I forgot also about him going to Vegas and getting dressed up in a disguise. Yeah.
That was an all-time mistake.

Speaker 3 That was an all-time mistake.

Speaker 1 I didn't know the combine story, his dad having to pretend that he was in the hospital. Yep.
It was crazy. And it did get dark for a minute there because

Speaker 1 him saying it, like, I was going to just live.

Speaker 1 Because I remember that when he had got cut by the Browns, and and then he was just on TMZ basically every single day, Johnny Menzel going out partying, like hearing it from his side where he's like, I was going to just go as hard as I could and then kill myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was pretty, I mean, I'm happy that he's alive.
I'm happy that he's still here and he really is like one of the most iconic college football players of all time.

Speaker 3 He beat the Drake curse. He beat the Drake curse.

Speaker 1 The last thing I had of the.

Speaker 3 Did you see the list that he made? When they sat down, it was him and Uncle Nate, and they were on the plane, and they just wrote down all the stuff that they wanted to accomplish in life. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It was like, like, make a million dollars, get mentioned in a Drake song. Yeah.
And he actually, like, checked off everything that was on that list.

Speaker 1 He did. And he, the last thing I had that was just very funny was the draft night stories.
And one, the story about how he, like, the Texans, he had met the McNairs, I believe,

Speaker 1 wooed them, and then the next day went out and got drunk at like a very notable Houston golf course and like basically ruined his chances of going to the Texans.

Speaker 1 And the other one was when he started falling and the Cowboys pick at 16 and the Cowboys pick Zach Martin and everyone booed. And Zach Martin is like a Hall of Famer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like so funny watching that back. Being like outside, I mean, he probably was the best player in that draft.
And Mike Evans and Blake Portals, there's some good company in that draft.

Speaker 1 But Zach Martin was

Speaker 1 a fucking incredible pick by the Cowboys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there was also the story about how he missed the Manning Passing Academy because he said that he just slept in. Yeah.
Definitely went out, got hammered.

Speaker 3 That probably did more to tank his draft stock than most anything else because Arch Manning is the Shadow Commissioner. Yeah.
So you duck his Passing Academy. Word gets around pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 It is good.

Speaker 1 You know, the ending, like, seeing that he feels like he's back and, like, you know, with his family and everything was heartwarming because it was one of those documentaries where you watch, you know that he's still alive.

Speaker 1 You hope he's doing well.

Speaker 1 But it could have gone a a very, very dark way where it's like, shit, the media and everything, all the hype. Like, this, he never had a chance.
So, thank God he's like on the other side of it.

Speaker 1 I honestly think. Unreal story.
Unreal story.

Speaker 3 If you were to transport your body into Johnny Football's body, which, by the way, Johnny Football is a great, great nickname. Johnny Fucking Football.
Johnny Fucking Football.

Speaker 3 If you were to be Johnny Football for a day in college, it would have kicked ass. It would have been awesome.
If you had been Johnny Football for a week, that probably would have sucked.

Speaker 1 No, that also would have kicked ass. For a full week? Yeah, for a semester, no.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and then...

Speaker 3 There would have been parts that would have kicked ass, but like, he wasn't having fun. He couldn't do anything.
He couldn't be a normal human being.

Speaker 3 And then Cliff Kingsbury just trying to keep the reins on him the best that he could.

Speaker 1 Just like, okay.

Speaker 1 Just not that attractive without the sunglasses.

Speaker 3 Exactly. I know that trick very well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was a good documentary. Everybody should watch it.
Untold stories on Netflix. This isn't even an ad.
We just watched it because we liked it.

Speaker 3 And they've got the Florida one coming out soon, too, I think.

Speaker 1 That one will be must-watch.

Speaker 9 They also didn't mention that, I mean, it just came out like weeks ago. It was probably after they were finished recording, but he's opening up a nightclub in College Station.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah. Smart?

Speaker 9 I think like two weeks ago

Speaker 9 called the Money Bar. That thing's going to rock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. Dude, those are like, those guys, they can just...
Like, I know, I think Ron Dane still lives in Madison. Like, you could still have an awesome life.

Speaker 9 Oh, he's going to make so much money off of that thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So much fun.

Speaker 9 Who's going to want to go to College Station and not want to go to the Money bar?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's the only good thing in college station.
Yeah. And then Bama went and won the national title that year.
That's when they just obliterated Notre Dame. So, and he won the Heisman.

Speaker 1 Heismans fly forever. Like, he can, that's pretty cool to be like, I can just go to New York in December every year and just be around a bunch of legends.

Speaker 3 What's Johnny doing? Do you know what his job is right now? The nightclub. Yeah, he's doing the nightclub.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's why, because the ending didn't really say what he was doing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, usually with a documentary like that, it's like, oh, he's drinking beer. Yeah, he's drinking beer in Scottsdale.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 But then that's when I looked into it and I was like, oh, yeah, he's opening a nightclub. And I feel like they should have mentioned that.
Yeah, they probably should have mentioned that.

Speaker 1 That should have mentioned that. But yeah, Johnny fucking football.
We'll get him back on.

Speaker 3 Yeah, people forget he did a podcast at Barcelona.

Speaker 1 Also, Dave and Erica. Dave's picture, not the best.
Yeah. Him just being drunk as fuck with Johnny.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. And when they showed that clip of him at Barstall with Erica next to him, I think we were just right off camera because we were about to interview him that day that he came in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because he was a good interview.

Speaker 1 And yeah, Dave's picture was, it was probably a lot of fun, but they put his picture drunk with Johnny Football in the montage of Johnny being like, I was going to kill myself. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Not great timing.

Speaker 1 It was a great timing.

Speaker 5 He played for

Speaker 7 fan-controlled football. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's been, he's been doing some of that.
I mean, I'm sure he still can

Speaker 1 play, not at the NFL level.

Speaker 3 Does he still have any eligibility left?

Speaker 1 Could he go back? That's what I'm saying. That's the rule.
Tell me, Texas A ⁇ M. We'd love to have him.
It'd be incredible.

Speaker 1 Okay. Great show, boys.
Great show. Feel good about this show.
I feel like we're on a little bit of a heater.

Speaker 3 Also, just that interview with Dawkins was awesome.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 3 I love that guy.

Speaker 1 We got some good interviews coming up this week.

Speaker 1 We got a lot of interviews this week, but we're doing some stuff down with the PGA. So we're going to get some new guests.
Maybe talk to Max.

Speaker 1 Have Max back on.

Speaker 1 All right, numbers. 8, 69.

Speaker 5 I can't wait for this new machine. Yeah, this is all what I'm calling no man's land era.

Speaker 1 I just basically, so the new machine the dead ball era. Well, there were moments, there were moments when we

Speaker 1 had, I talked to some people. Thank you for everyone who reached out.

Speaker 1 One guy sent a new machine that had the ping-pong balls the size of beach balls, and I think we wouldn't have been able to fit anything else in the office.

Speaker 1 So, we have decided that the new machine,

Speaker 1 what I've tasked

Speaker 1 Jordan at our office, who does a really good job of building, is

Speaker 1 basically the same old machine. I was like, make it as big as it was with the refrigerator on it.
Yeah. So, like, that will be the full machine.
So, that will be perfect.

Speaker 1 But, yeah, I can't wait for the new machine. I can't wait to.
That first, Hank, have you ever gotten it, is going to be so sweet. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 You're going to start out of the gate.

Speaker 1 Of course. Why wouldn't I? Wow.
Why wouldn't I? Because none of us have gotten it in the middle. Right.
but that's the

Speaker 1 first time. Welcome to the show, Jake.
It's a great question. Glad to have you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Memes, you've never gotten this. Nope.
Let it go back to Hank. Three.

Speaker 9 Memes is three.

Speaker 1 You said let it go back to Hank. All right, Shane, what do you got? Ten.
Ten. Shane, you still lying to me about the Chargers? Yeah.
Okay. You looked into it?

Speaker 1 I said facts.

Speaker 1 They're not starting any starters.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's now talking about injuries. This is scared.

Speaker 1 Chargers are scared. Chargers are scared.
All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 41.

Speaker 1 41.

Speaker 1 Wait, I got a good fact. Oh, wait.

Speaker 5 That's what it was on Thursday.

Speaker 1 Back to back. Back to back.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 This fact comes from Jay Kuda, who unbelievable follows on Twitter.

Speaker 1 It's J-A-Y-C-U-D-A. More than 60 players named Mike have played for the St.
Louis Cardinals franchise. No other franchise has had more than 50 mics.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 I'm coming for you, let's get shy.

Speaker 1 I'm coming for you, lovely.

Speaker 1 I keep

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 drinking only.

Speaker 1 Talking away,

Speaker 1 but I'm not one to say I'll take you anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's on my day, the final shade.

Speaker 1 I'm coming to your lover, kid, creepy, dream, cake.

Speaker 1 I'm coming to your lover, kid.

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 1 not afraid of the world.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I won't stand in spirit beats the right of way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 I like the better to be safe.

Speaker 1 I like to play it to be safe, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Is it a fun? Just play my burning way.

Speaker 1 There are things I've got to remember. You shine away

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway

Speaker 1 You shine away

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 1 only