Open Champion Brian Harman, Mt Rushmore Of Girls Not To Mess With, NFL Head Coach Draft, And Hank Goes After PFT

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Open Championship.

Speaker 1 Open Championship? Open Champion, golfer, Brian Harmon, great dude. We are Brian Harmon fans now.
Just a regular SEC loving red-blooded American who happened to win the Claret Jug.

Speaker 1 We have the Mount Rushmore of Girls Not to Fuck With. We promised that when we did guys not to fuck with, so that's equal.

Speaker 1 We're doing both. So we have girls not to fuck with.
We have the long-awaited coaches draft, NFL coaches draft, hot seat, cool thrown, lot to get to. Champion Golfer of the Year.

Speaker 1 Champion Golfer of the Year, Brian Harmon, and guys on chicks.

Speaker 3 Hey, this is Rhea from Chicks in the Office. And this season, we're heading home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.
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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 then I love the sound of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all of the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Keyland, Trick Ivenu.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Keylay, Trake.

Speaker 4 It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 Presented by Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take. Today is Wednesday, July 26th.
And boys, it's time for our NFL head coaches draft.

Speaker 4 I've been looking forward to this for the last six months.

Speaker 1 We have some other things we're going to discuss. I think a lot of it will probably be discussed in Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 But to refresh everyone's memory, in January, we were having a discussion and we decided Jake set a calendar reminder that on July 26th, we are going to do the NFL head coaches draft for current NFL head coaches, which head coach you'd want coaching your favorite team.

Speaker 1 And we thought July 26th would never get here, but July 26th has arrived.

Speaker 1 And so anyone, I hope there's one AWL out there who noted that in January and was like, these motherfuckers better come through.

Speaker 4 Jake is that motherfucker. Yeah, he is that motherfucker.
Jake, you are that motherfucker.

Speaker 1 So we're here. I'm ready.

Speaker 4 I'm very much excited about it.

Speaker 4 It is the true sign that football is back. We missed another sign, by the way, that football is back, which is getting an invite to your fantasy league.
Yes.

Speaker 4 So getting asked to rejoin a fantasy league that you were in last year. Yes.
That season is now upon us. That was a great email that I got.

Speaker 1 The auto invite.

Speaker 4 My body is ready.

Speaker 4 You know what? I actually don't think that my body is ready yet. No.
Because that's eight hours on the couch at times.

Speaker 4 Moving to a new place. You don't know the channels yet.
Things are all weird. Got new cable services.
It's true.

Speaker 1 Got new TVs.

Speaker 4 New remotes. We're not ready yet.
So we need to spend the next month just game planning, getting ourselves ready. This is a good first step forward.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. It is the perfect.
What do you do in the middle of July? Well, you rank head coaches. So let's do it.
Let's get into it.

Speaker 1 How are we going to decide who has first pick? So there's four of us, so we'll all pick eight head coaches. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lotto ball. Lotto ball.
Okay. Random number generator.

Speaker 1 Closest to the pin. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. 17.

Speaker 1 Eight.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's one 1 to 100, right, guys?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm going with 8.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll go with 51.

Speaker 1 I'll go 52. You motherfucker!

Speaker 1 Price is right. All right, here it is.

Speaker 1 84. So, Jake, you get to pick what you want to go first?

Speaker 1 Sure. Okay, I'll go.

Speaker 4 Wait, you get to pick where you go? Yeah. I think we just picked the cycle, right? We're either going clockwise or counterclockwise.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 We'll usually go clockwise. Mountain Mountain Rushmore, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, I guess we do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll go second. Oh, okay.
So I'm going third, then Hank's fourth, who is not ready for this draft. Actually, that's good.
If I'm next to Hank,

Speaker 4 he's going to make a good state. Also, Hank's got butt issues right now.

Speaker 1 He's got major ass issues. No.
Come on.

Speaker 1 Put the camera on your ass, Hank. You can't put the camera.
My ass is in the jackpot. We're good.
Okay. It's PFT's fault.
He ordered. It was good food, but...
Not good for my stomach.

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it is. It's your fault because you can't eat anything with even like one little pepper on it.

Speaker 4 I assume you were a grown-up. They didn't.
Sorry, I ordered Thai food and they didn't have the dino chicken bite tank.

Speaker 1 I'm fine. Do you like speak mac and cheese? I just.
A grilled cheese. Can I get a grilled cheese? Can I get Bill Belichick, please? By the way, I did.

Speaker 1 Then I don't care.

Speaker 1 All right, you know what? No, no, no, no. Let's see how the draft goes.
All right.

Speaker 1 First pick, and obviously, discussion is welcome. It is a podcast.
So, you know,

Speaker 1 maybe the first round will be kind of intuitive. But once we get deeper,

Speaker 1 you can stand on the soapbox for your guy.

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick. Oh, good pick, Jake.
I don't like that pick one.

Speaker 1 No, I like it because Hank didn't know.

Speaker 5 No, it was in my, I was taking it no matter what Hank said.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, okay, all right. Who are you a fan of, Jake?

Speaker 1 How are you a fan of your team and you're not picking your head coach? You're a mutual journalist.

Speaker 1 Well, Hank, I'm going to just.

Speaker 5 I'm just the best of the 32.

Speaker 1 Little spoiler, I know it's not my pick. I will not be choosing Matt Eberflus with the first pick, just so you know.
Yeah, but you're not going to be

Speaker 1 an inter-division rival. Intrunal.
And Mike McTaniel is a good coach.

Speaker 1 Nice change. Oh, got him.
Got his ass.

Speaker 4 Hank is in a world where he's dealing with some serious intranet issues.

Speaker 1 He's going to be like,

Speaker 1 I'm the fart. I'm coming right over there.

Speaker 1 He's going to be like, the year the Vikings missed their pick. He's just going to be on the toilet.
Okay.

Speaker 4 PFT. All right.

Speaker 1 PFT's notes. I'm looking over, not to cheat, but he's just looking at the Wikipedia page.
Wikipedia page.

Speaker 1 that. Wikipedia page.

Speaker 4 This draft would be utter chaos if we didn't have a list of head coaches. We just had to remember the baseball draft.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm going to Andy Reid. Okay.
Love Andy Reid. I thought he should have been 1-1.

Speaker 4 I did too. That's why I'm so happy.

Speaker 1 He's just had Patrick Mahomes. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 So, Jake, he also got to.

Speaker 4 He also got to a Super Bowl when he was in Philly, right? Yeah. He made it to four consecutive, lost four consecutive NFC championship games.
It's not easy.

Speaker 4 He's been a great head coach for the last, what, 25 years?

Speaker 5 I think he's 1-1B, just based off the numbers that Bill Bell is doing.

Speaker 4 He's 1-1B.

Speaker 1 But this is what you want for the next season, too.

Speaker 4 Wait, oh, yeah, we need to define this. Yeah.
Are we drafting based on

Speaker 1 time? No, it's right now.

Speaker 1 Who you want to be? I said that in the intro. I'm drafting on vibes.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That means that. Translation, Hank did no research.
He doesn't even have a list. No, I do.

Speaker 4 He could also mean that literally, and it means that his butthole is just gyrating with pain.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 That was pregame. Like, I'm ready to go.
I'm on the field. I'm here.

Speaker 1 That did not need to be said.

Speaker 1 With my first pick,

Speaker 1 I'll go with Sean McVay. Sean McVay, he doesn't even want to coach.
He has a Super Bowl. He basically quit.

Speaker 1 He quit. Okay.
I mean, we're not denigrating picks, but okay. He basically

Speaker 1 quit. I didn't hear you say that.
No, no, I was joking. You can denigrate as much as you want.

Speaker 4 Piquet, can I push back on that real quick?

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

Speaker 4 So he is about to have, I I think, his first child. Yeah.
His wife is with baby right now in utero. And he timed it out so the baby will be born during football season.
That's bad clock management.

Speaker 1 He's still going to be there.

Speaker 4 That's bad clock management.

Speaker 1 I would still, if you're going to be able to get to the bottom of the business

Speaker 4 out where you have it in that one week after the Super Bowl and before the Combine really starts.

Speaker 1 If you told every team in the NFL you can get Sean McVay as your head coach next year, there's like, I think there's only two teams that wouldn't take him. Like he's, he is that man.

Speaker 5 And I feel like they're going to be slept on this year just because of how bad they were last reason.

Speaker 1 Well, they're going through rebuilding. I mean, the craziest thing that we do in the media is we joke about how the Rams were going all in and trading all their future picks.

Speaker 1 And then we're like, why do the Rams suck now? Well, because

Speaker 4 they gave us no opportunity for a window of discussion.

Speaker 4 That's the thing. We never got to discuss whether or not the Rams would become a dynasty.
So we took that as a personal shot at our profession.

Speaker 4 He stole content from us.

Speaker 1 Took two different quarterbacks to the Super Bowl. So if you want to have the

Speaker 1 quarterback situation that you were trying to do with Patrick Mahomes, Danny Reed, Jake. That's how stupid that was.

Speaker 1 Two great, great quarterbacks. Yeah, incredible quarterbacks, but he did.
He took two different quarterbacks to the Super Bowl. Hank, you have a wraparound snake draft.

Speaker 1 Yep, I'm going with a ESPN Classic Show. I'm going Mike and Mike here.
Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel. Oh, I thought you were going to say Mike McCarthy, and I was like,

Speaker 1 you might actually have acid poisoning. No, I was thinking about going with just the...
No, actually, I'm not going to go into my picks. Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel.

Speaker 4 You're not going to go into your picks on a pickle.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm not going to go to my strategy because you guys will steal them.

Speaker 4 I think you just took two guys named Mike. I think that's what you're strategy for.

Speaker 1 Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel. I mean, Mike Tomlin.
All right. Mike Tomlin, good pick.
Mike Vrabel, also good pick. I think he's our friend.

Speaker 1 And he's a great coach. All right, I'll just stick.
You know what? I'm happy because my next pick, I was scared that it was going to get taken, but I will take Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 1 The start of this entire conversation was Kyle Shanahan's offense.

Speaker 4 I have the Young Guns. Yeah, it's a great pick.
Yeah. Great pick.
I'm shocked that Hank didn't take Kyle, but he hates the 49ers. We met that.

Speaker 1 Imagine if a team ever had both these guys. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 If there was somehow a head coach whose name was Mike Shanahan, then maybe Hank would have picked him. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. My pick.

Speaker 1 This seems. Now this is how fucked up this show.
And I went in with the plan. And now I'm thinking, I can't let...

Speaker 1 Hank take all the mics.

Speaker 1 And I don't want Mike McCarthy, but I can't let him take all the mics. You can't let one guy have all the mics.

Speaker 4 It's too many. It's too many.

Speaker 1 It's bullshit. All right.

Speaker 1 Like, how good would that draft board look?

Speaker 4 This is

Speaker 4 easy for me.

Speaker 1 John Harbaugh. Yep.

Speaker 4 That was. I'll take John Harbaugh.
John Harbaugh could step into any situation in the league except for maybe three and improve it. Yep.
He's got a track record.

Speaker 4 Now, some would say, well, he won a Super Bowl with an elite quarterback, Joe Flacco, who's system coach. I would say that John Harbaugh has reinvented himself a couple times.
Yep. And now

Speaker 4 he's really good at going with what his best players do best. Yeah.
So I'm going to go with John Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 I had tiered the coaches, and he was a tier one coach.

Speaker 4 He's a tier one coach for sure.

Speaker 1 He's a tier one coach, so it's a good pick.

Speaker 4 And I think the only NFL coach that has kicked Jim Harbaugh's ass.

Speaker 4 Did he kick his ass? I think so. I think he took him out in the ocean.

Speaker 1 No, I think Jim tried to drown John.

Speaker 4 I think John Trout.

Speaker 4 They probably tried to drown Trout.

Speaker 1 I think Jim is the one who tries to drown John.

Speaker 4 He's the only coach that's fought Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 1 Also, we stand with Jim Harbaugh on the four-game suspension. It's bullshit.
Yeah. And I'm not even going to look into what actually happens.

Speaker 4 As far as I know, he got caught for lying about lying. About a cheeseburger.
That sounds like double jeopardy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. About a cheeseburger.
Yeah. Sounds like a QAnon conspiracy.
This guy bought a cheeseburger. Okay, Jake.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Two picks. To end the second round, I am taking Sean Payton.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Interesting. I think they had, they were the laughing stock of the league last year, and now I think bringing him in, no one's really going to talk about how bad they are.

Speaker 5 Instead, they're going to talk about, ooh, him with Russell Wilson, they could be a contender in the AFC.

Speaker 1 I like Russell Wilson, MVP, or comeback player of the year. MVP? Yeah.
Okay,

Speaker 1 I said that, I think, last summer, and that's a true summer dumb thought.

Speaker 1 As someone who's been there.

Speaker 1 I'm seeing reports.

Speaker 1 Where are your reports?

Speaker 1 He's playing well. He's throwing the deep ball.
He's

Speaker 1 working on some stuff.

Speaker 1 Is he a training camp report?

Speaker 4 Yeah, do you remember the training camp report about Russell Wilson last year where it was like he completed 21 of 22 passes? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hank just did the Bo Knicks meme. Yeah.
He's a dark horse for the MVP. Yep.
Yeah, so for the Heisman.

Speaker 5 I think they're going to get slept on because of how bad they were last year and bringing him in changed things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he does bring consistency.

Speaker 1 He is a

Speaker 1 steady, Eddie head coach.

Speaker 5 So I'm going to continue the trend of.

Speaker 1 How many quarterbacks has he taken to the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 One. Oh, okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 So your entire.

Speaker 1 I feel good. Yeah, no, no, no.
But yeah. Okay.
You made a mistake with that comment to start. I know.

Speaker 5 Yeah. But it's still Bill Belichick.

Speaker 1 I can't regret that. Yeah, no, I understand.

Speaker 5 Taking Andy Reid 1-1 would be getting cute with it.

Speaker 1 I don't know. If you got Bill Belichick at second pick, Bill Belichick's the greatest coach of all time.
We're talking about next season. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Andy Reid feels like he's at the top of his game.

Speaker 4 Think about this.

Speaker 4 If Andy Reid coaches the Patriots, what's the record?

Speaker 1 I don't don't know, Hank.

Speaker 4 Not as good as...

Speaker 1 Pedrik's going to go.

Speaker 4 That's not the question.

Speaker 4 Would you like Andy Reid to coach the Patriots? No.

Speaker 1 Ever.

Speaker 1 Here's my Bill Belichick take, because I do.

Speaker 1 He's dead by the time Belichick retires. I do obviously think he's the greatest coach of all time, but last year...

Speaker 1 They played well. But the Matt Patricia

Speaker 1 and the Joe Judge thing made me think, like, is he senile? He seems to have corrected it, so it probably will wash away, but you, Hank, you had those thoughts. No, okay.

Speaker 4 Well, you should. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Keeping up with the trend of rings only. I'm going to go with Doug Peterson.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I think he did a tremendous job in year one with the Jaguars, and I think they're going to be a very sexy pick to maybe make some noise in the AFC.

Speaker 1 Sexy pick. All right, Jake.
Calm down. Sexy pick.
They're in the AFC South. How sexy.

Speaker 4 Put it back in your Dockers, Jake.

Speaker 5 I think people are going to love them to win the division and maybe win a game in the playoffs, which How was last year?

Speaker 1 How sexy on the Jake Marsh scale, let's say, Kevin Harlan to Bob Costas in his prime? Sexy. Ooh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How sexy.

Speaker 5 I think outside of the big three, the Bills, Chiefs, and Bengals, I think

Speaker 5 they're going to be knocking out that door. Okay.
Yeah. In the AFC.
Do you guys agree?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 5 They could. It's not crazy.

Speaker 1 I want.

Speaker 4 Prove it to me this year. Yeah.
Prove that last year wasn't a fluke. Yeah.
Right. But if also, you got to give Urban Meyer some credit for establishing a culture in Jacksonville.

Speaker 5 But if they go 12 and 5, win the division, win another game in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Without Urban Meyer, Jacksonville does not draft Trevor Lawrence. Fact of fiction.

Speaker 4 True.

Speaker 1 Fact. Okay.

Speaker 1 PFT. So wait, who are your two picks there?

Speaker 5 Sean Payton and Doug Peterson.

Speaker 1 Good picks. Good picks.

Speaker 4 All right. I'm going to go.

Speaker 4 My next pick.

Speaker 4 This is tricky. I've got three names that I'm choosing from right now.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 Nicholas Siriani.

Speaker 1 Nick Siriani.

Speaker 4 And again, this is from this point forward. Who do you want?

Speaker 4 I think he does what his players do best, and he's a very flexible coach. He's corny, but whatever, it works.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, that's a good pick. I'm surprised that he's lasted this long, especially if Jake's doing rings only.

Speaker 5 I know. I was between the two of them.

Speaker 1 I mean, Pete Carroll, especially what he did last year.

Speaker 5 They're supposed to be the worst team in the league, right?

Speaker 1 He's forever young. So Pete Carroll, yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd feel pretty good with him

Speaker 1 at the helm.

Speaker 4 It's that gum. That gum keeps your face, the muscles tight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he did have like a rejuvenation year where it was like, oh, is Pete Carroll, you know, is it all falling apart? And then, boom, they were

Speaker 1 way better than expected. I think they're over-under before the season was like five and a half.
I think they were in

Speaker 5 projections to like be the first overall pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, uh, okay, Hank. All right, I'm gonna go with a classic ESPN show.
Okay, Mike McDaniel and Mike McCarthy.

Speaker 1 I love it. He got the four mics.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I can't hate on that strategy. Mike McCarthy, great coach.
Great strategy. If we basically should have won the Super Bowl last year, was knocking right in the doorstep.

Speaker 1 Mike McDaniel is probably the best up-and-coming coach in the league. Like, if you're

Speaker 1 in a futures franchise, if this is a franchise draft, Mike McDaniel's probably going first.

Speaker 4 Well, that's kind of what we're doing right now.

Speaker 1 Over Kyle Shanahan? No, no, no. This is just for this season.

Speaker 1 Over Kyle Shanahan? This is for the next 30 years. Over Kyle Shanahan? Didn't Kyle Shanahan almost retire too? I thought he went to like...

Speaker 4 No, Kyle Shanahan taught Mike McDaniel everything he knows.

Speaker 1 Right, and then he basically retired and said he's going to whatever, Tahiti.

Speaker 1 You're thinking of Cliff Kings. Oh, yeah, I am.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't have said that because Hank would have picked Cliff King's right.

Speaker 1 Okay. This is where it gets tough.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think a lot of the coaches are in the same grouping where they're good coaches, but it's like,

Speaker 1 can they break through? Can they break through? And you know what?

Speaker 1 I'll do it.

Speaker 1 I'll take Dean Campbell. Okay.
I'll take Dean Campbell.

Speaker 1 Listen, I think that coaching the Lions is everything's on a curve. So if you get the Lions on the precipice of the playoffs, that's essentially like the NFC championship game.

Speaker 4 Well, they won their last game of the regular season, and they kept the Green Bay Packers out of the playoffs. That is a playoff game.

Speaker 1 We'll see. This will be a big year for him, but it seems like he is a classic case of if the players can buy in, it works.
And if they don't, it can fall apart in hilarious fashion.

Speaker 1 It seems like everyone's bought it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 PFT. Sean McDermott.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good pick.

Speaker 4 Surprised that he lasted this long. Good pick.
Also, maybe the coach that could kick almost every other coach's ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the only problem with Sean McDermott is that that playoff game was tough.

Speaker 4 It was. It was tough.
It was tough. He's had a couple tough playoff losses.

Speaker 1 It was tough. It was tough.

Speaker 7 Just Squibkin.

Speaker 4 Still a very good coach. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 To mark the halfway point of this draft, I'm taking Zach Taylor.

Speaker 1 Bengals. Yeah, slept on.
Super Bowl appearance. Now, would some say that's just Joe Burrow? No, they have

Speaker 1 questions.

Speaker 5 Yeah, their defense is great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But who's the defense? Joe Burrow.

Speaker 5 He's in charge of the whole team, which means he has say in the defense.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You could have done Coach Lou as your next,

Speaker 1 who you'd want to be head coach. Yeah, we should have done coordinators too.
Next week we'll do coordinators.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 This next pick, I don't know if this is a reach or not, but

Speaker 5 Kevin Stefansky has taken the Browns. He took the Browns to the playoffs in his first year.

Speaker 4 Well, he didn't coach that game. Remember, he had COVID.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he had COVID. He was in the basement.
The fact that he

Speaker 5 got them there.

Speaker 1 They won a game, right? Yeah.

Speaker 5 The Steelers. Yeah, they beat the Steelers.
That's a huge deal to not be the laughing. Like, 11-5, 8-9, 7-10, your first three years as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns is really impressive.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Agreed.
We're Kevin Stafansky, guys. Yeah.
Okay, good pick. Good pick.
Good pick.

Speaker 4 All right, this one might be a little controversial. We got one year of evidence to go off of, but it's Brian Dable.

Speaker 4 I would take Dable. Yeah.
I thought what he did with the Giants last year was he got the most out of that team. Yeah.
We'll put it that way. All right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had him in my tier two, and I have one last remaining guy in my tier two. It hurts me, but I do objectively think he is a good head coach, and it's Matt LaFleur.

Speaker 4 I do think he's a a good coach. Where are these tears? I made tears.
Oh, you made tears for yourself?

Speaker 1 Yeah, for myself. I just basically brain-dumped tears.

Speaker 4 You could have also done a list.

Speaker 1 No, that's it's a list.

Speaker 4 Like, is it numbered? 1 through 32?

Speaker 1 Well, I don't want to show you the rest, but yeah. I'm erasing it.

Speaker 4 Why did you divide them into different tiers? Because I'm already numbered 1 through 32.

Speaker 1 Because I have a draft strategy, so it's like if there's a tier 2 guy and there's a bunch of tier 3 guys, I have to take the tier 2 guy value.

Speaker 4 You've been hanging out with Stephen Shea too long.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, Matt LaFleur.

Speaker 1 He was my tier 32. He did get a little bit of of Che Brain.
Did he help you with this draft?

Speaker 4 This is a very easy

Speaker 1 strategy of like, hey,

Speaker 1 have a process.

Speaker 1 Because if I didn't have this process, I would have taken Mike McCarthy in the third round just to block Hank from the mics.

Speaker 4 I've got a process too. I googled a huge mistake.
List of current National Football League head coaches, and then I sorted them by wins on Wikipedia.

Speaker 1 Listen, I googled that as well, and then I just tiered them. All right.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I had a couple strategies. The first one was get all the mics accomplished, and then the second strategy is just pick pick the sexiest, most attractive, best featured men.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to go with Arthur Smith. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then in my next pick, I'm going to go. I'm just going to go with the hometown guy, basically, won us to Super Bowl, Nick Siriani.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Okay, well, Nick Siriani's already been taken.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Round two.
That actually was great value. Yeah, it would have been awesome to have.

Speaker 1 It's nice.

Speaker 4 But Hank, like the fact that they didn't change their cleats at halftime, halftime, how good of a coach can he be? True.

Speaker 1 Well, now I'm scared to make my other pick.

Speaker 1 My brother pick. Brandon Staley.
You're sure. Yeah.
He's there. Great coach.
Math guy. He's there.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This is getting too tough. Who took Sirianni? IFT.

Speaker 5 Round three pick two.

Speaker 5 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Now it's getting tough.

Speaker 1 I guess I'll take Frank Reich. I don't know.
I think he sucks, but...

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think he sucks, too.

Speaker 5 You know, I was listening back to the episode January 27th, and there was the episode that he was hired, and I don't think you were a fan.

Speaker 1 No, the problem is

Speaker 1 I can't take all NFC North and not take Matt Hieberfloos. So I got really stuck in a spot.

Speaker 1 If you want to know what my tiers are, it was tier three left is Frank Reich, Kevin O'Connell, Robert Salah. Okay.
So, and I didn't really, it was, I was kind of stuck in a hard spot there.

Speaker 1 So Frank Reich's my pick. All right.
And I don't like it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Yeah, I don't like that pick either.

Speaker 1 No, I don't like it.

Speaker 4 So Robert Salah hasn't been taken yet.

Speaker 1 No, he's not.

Speaker 4 Would you like to? I'm going to go with Robert Salah. He's a tier three coach according to Big Cat's metrics.

Speaker 1 So this is a great value.

Speaker 4 This is a great value pick right here.

Speaker 1 I have to go with him.

Speaker 4 Maybe the smoothest head coach. I got a lot of smooth boys on my team.
I got him, and I got Sean McDermott. No hair, not a hair to rub between them.

Speaker 1 Good pick.

Speaker 5 Good pick.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 5 TFT, left hand up.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Ron Rivera. I appreciate the support.

Speaker 1 Now we're dipping in the tier fours. However, yeah.

Speaker 4 I would say tier four.

Speaker 1 With the Panthers, they were in the mix every year.

Speaker 5 Obviously. Had Ken Newton.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And in D.C., in D.C., he had Taylor Heineken.

Speaker 1 And he bragged about winning division.

Speaker 4 Well, no, that's not exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 What was it? Seven and nine?

Speaker 4 Well, he found out from a reporter also last year that they were bounced from the playoffs after a loss. And he didn't know that.
In week 17, he was talking about the family.

Speaker 1 No, I'm talking about the Panthers. Oh, yeah.
In his press conference after he got fired from the Panthers, which is bizarre that he had a press conference. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was like, we won the division three years in a row, and the last year was 7-9.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Rivera's head coaching record, if you take out the one season where Cam Newton was out

Speaker 4 15 and 1, I think he's had one other winning season, maybe two, but he's like a 500 career head coach. He has dealt with a lot of shit in D.C., though.

Speaker 4 Today, he gave a press conference, and he was like, yeah, big difference this year. In the past, I felt like I was just kind of managing the team.
Now with new ownership, it's great.

Speaker 4 So, I guess that's his new excuse for it. But, yeah, Rivera probably won't be back next year.
I'm just going to go out and limit and say that.

Speaker 1 Okay, you have one more pick?

Speaker 5 Yeah, this is getting very, very thin now.

Speaker 1 I can't tell if this is good or bad, podcast. Terrible.
People love

Speaker 1 the draft.

Speaker 1 Terrible. They love Lisbon.

Speaker 1 You guys are going to love this shit.

Speaker 4 You guys are going to eat this shit up.

Speaker 1 That was such a quick, terrible.

Speaker 5 Todd Bowles.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl champion. Top 10 coach.

Speaker 4 As we said at one point on part of my day. Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 1 No, he wasn't.

Speaker 1 He was in

Speaker 1 his coordinator. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Super Bowl champion.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl champion. Yeah.
Sure.

Speaker 4 Basically, I feel like we're playing a game of hot potato here just to see who can avoid drafting Josh McDaniels. Yes.

Speaker 1 That's kind of hard to do. Hank will do it.
Yeah, no, I was. Yeah.
Hank will do it. Okay.

Speaker 4 For my next pick,

Speaker 1 this is. I mean, these last eight.
It's tough. It's tough.
It's real tough.

Speaker 4 Kevin O'Connell.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Taking Kevin O'Connell, I think that this year the Vikings are going to be very good.

Speaker 1 I think that's my Kirkwood. Who did you take with your last pick? Salah.
Oh, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 4 So Kevin O'Connell's another tier three.

Speaker 1 Look at me. Stacking up

Speaker 1 value. Oh, I have one priori.
If I drop last tier three, it's Matt Eberflus. So I'm taking him.
Okay. So there's my Tier 3.

Speaker 4 You definitely didn't put him into Tier 3 because he's the coach of the Bears.

Speaker 1 No, but he was bottom of Tier 3. So I'm on bottom.

Speaker 4 Wait, you have tears in your tiers?

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. You rank your tiers.

Speaker 4 How many tiers are inside of each tier?

Speaker 1 Well, no, it's just a ranking inside the tier.

Speaker 4 You said bottom, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's the bottom of tier three.

Speaker 4 The bottom tier of tier three of tier three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's ranked in order. Okay.
All right. Yeah, he's the bottom of tier three.

Speaker 1 It's a pretty straightforward system.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm going to go with the coach that spearheaded some of the greatest offenses in NFL history.

Speaker 1 And Teebo Mania. Okay.

Speaker 1 Josh McDaniels. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, he did spearhead Teebo Mania. Maniac.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Credit to him.
Yeah. Yeah.
Good call. Okay.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 is this my last pick, Jake? Thank God. Last four left.
All right, well, I got to do it then.

Speaker 1 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

Speaker 4 You're making a mockery out of this head post draft.

Speaker 1 Take this very seriously, Hank. I wanted Belichick, and then after that, it's like, whatever.
You just took him Baldwin home and took all the mics with you. Just punted on the entire head post.

Speaker 1 Hey, Mics, get in the car. We're out of here.

Speaker 1 Hey, ghost draft rigged.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, my last pick. I'm going to take D'Amico Ryan.
I think he's going to be very good. Yeah.
I'm a big D'Amico Ryan guy.

Speaker 4 Everyone around Houston seems to like him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he was, I mean, the 49ers' defense was elite.

Speaker 1 So D'Amico Ryan's my last pick.

Speaker 4 All right, I'm going to take Shane Steichen

Speaker 4 of the Colts. We're Colts guys now.
Nice. So this is the guy who's going to be.
Can't we see this guy up close in person? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Mr. Irrelevant.
Mr.

Speaker 4 Irrelevant.

Speaker 1 Is Dennis Allen? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Dennis Allen. Hank took Jonathan Gannon.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Dennis Allen is is Mr. Relevant.
All right. Anyone want to do trades?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'll give you all the mics for Bill Belichuk.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I would have 11 guys. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 4 Who do you have from your tier two list?

Speaker 1 Fuck, I was deleting my tiers as I went because I was trying to remember.

Speaker 4 So I was going to package. I was going to package a couple tier three guys to move up to tier two.

Speaker 1 I had, I don't even know who I have on my team.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'll never read him.
I'll remember.

Speaker 1 No, that's no, we don't need to go through this.

Speaker 5 Well, I have 11 guys and Hank has

Speaker 1 Bill Belichick, the greatest of all time. Five.
And McDaniels. I have Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels back again, and Vrabel back again.

Speaker 1 No, you don't have Vrabel. I have Vrabel.

Speaker 1 You have Arthur Smith, Brandon Sale, and McDaniels, Gannon, and Belichick.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love my guys.
Damn. Good team.
My team is on the floor.

Speaker 4 Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike.

Speaker 1 I would trade you Matt LaFleur for someone.

Speaker 4 Yeah, okay. Would you trade me Matt LaFleur?

Speaker 1 I'll trade you Matt LaFleur for Brian Dable.

Speaker 4 Straight up. No deal.
Okay. No deal.
Toss in your last pick. Who's your last pick?

Speaker 1 Matt Eberfloos. No, Damiko Rins.

Speaker 4 Don't pawn Matt Eberflues off on me.

Speaker 1 No, dude, he was a tier three. You were a coach.

Speaker 4 I'll take D'Amico Ryans and Matt LaFleur for Robert Salah.

Speaker 1 No, no deal. No deal.
I had a chance to draft Robert Salah and I said no. Okay.

Speaker 4 I had him in tier two.

Speaker 4 On my chart, he's valuable.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Well, that was great podcasting, everyone.

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Speaker 1 What else is going on today?

Speaker 4 Oh, quarterback's getting paid. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Justin Herbert got a bag. And Saquon Barkley.

Speaker 4 Saquon Barkley got a bag.

Speaker 1 He got $900,000 more.

Speaker 4 In incentives.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Now, okay, color me skeptical, but a guy like Mr. Mara, a guy that's been around this game for a long time,

Speaker 4 very careful with his money,

Speaker 4 some might say. Yes.
Is there a possibility, big cat, that Saquon Barkley is having a pretty solid season? and Mr. Mara subtly indicates maybe let's not get him over these certain thresholds.

Speaker 4 Interesting. Maybe it would be good for Brian Dables' career if he were to not give that extra $900,000.

Speaker 1 Which would be hilarious if it was over $900,000. It would be.
It's like, I think there was a report because the Packers have to share the financials because they're publicly owned.

Speaker 1 I think every team got cut a check for like $300 million this year. And he's like, yeah, $900,000.
I can't pay

Speaker 1 my best offensive player.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 yeah, is Saquon Barkley a scab?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it seems like he went back. He went to the Zoom call and he said, this sucks.

Speaker 4 This sucks.

Speaker 1 And then they were like, how about

Speaker 1 less than like a three-bedroom house? Yeah. Sure.

Speaker 4 And then Saquon Barkley unemphasized from the group chat, this sucks. Yeah.
And he's like, you know what? That's my price to turn my back on the entire position.

Speaker 1 It's doggy dog world.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 if you're Austin Eckler right now, and then you have this big Zoom call that you lead, and then a day later, your quarterback signs for infinity million dollars, basically. Yep.

Speaker 4 How pissed off are you?

Speaker 1 Very, very pissed off.

Speaker 4 Very mad if you're Austin Eckler.

Speaker 1 And it is what it is because you knew Justin Herbert was going to get it. It was whatever.

Speaker 1 The question I have with Justin Herbert is when...

Speaker 1 Has Joe Burrow been paid?

Speaker 4 No. So every time a quarterback gets paid, you have to have the conversation about, well, who's the next guy to get paid? It's Joe Burrow.
And in this case, it's Joe Burrow, who's next guy.

Speaker 4 And then pretty soon we're just going to be saying, like, when rookies sign the rookie deal,

Speaker 4 wait till Bryce Young hits the open market.

Speaker 1 But Joe Burrow and Justin Herbert were the same draft class.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so Joe's next.

Speaker 1 You would think Joe would have already been paid.

Speaker 4 I wonder if Joe's going to break off a little for his running back.

Speaker 4 Interesting.

Speaker 1 Joe for Joe. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Okay, other things that happened in the sports world? I mean,

Speaker 1 we should at least mention it. It was very, like,

Speaker 1 sad. Brownie James James had a cardiac incident at USC practice.

Speaker 4 And he went into cardiac arrest, so it was heartstopped.

Speaker 1 That's, it's crazy. That's one of those, like, would never even make a joke about it moments, but that was obviously trending.

Speaker 1 And it sucks, too, because when that happens and then the entire internet decides to spend the rest of the day hypothesizing on why it happened, that's pretty shitty.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's pretty bad. I made a mistake today.
A big internet. It's like a rookie internet mistake.
I got deep into the replies to the replies to the replies.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 And I just feel so much worse about humans in general after that. It was bad.
It was bad.

Speaker 1 It was bad internet. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I wish the internet had been shut down today. But

Speaker 1 you just basically crawled into Billy's brain for an hour.

Speaker 4 I did. Yeah.
I got it's a scary place. I truly heard both sides.
I heard both sides of every argument. So don't tell me I have to listen to both.
I heard every side.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is probably a good episode that Billy's not on because you'd be like, well, I heard reports and it's just, you know, Fart Sniffer 69, 17 replies deep. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I went to, I watched Doogie Hauser. It was bad.

Speaker 4 I know what this was. Yet somehow not as bad as the DeMar Hamlin clone incident.
Which I, we can look back on that and everyone should go back.

Speaker 4 Like kids should study that in textbooks for the next five years.

Speaker 4 The reaction to DeMar Hamlin showing up in a snow game and you can't see his entire face because he's wearing a mask to protect himself.

Speaker 4 And like half the internet, it seemed like, was like, that's a clone of DeMar Hamlin.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 And people believed that it was a fucking, it was an actual clone of Dam Harlamland.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And it was what I say to anyone who has these grandiose conspiracy theories, yes, there's been some weird things that have happened in the past few years, but you have to ask yourself how many people would have to be in on it for this to successfully be like, you know, pulled off.

Speaker 1 And that's the entire Bills locker, like 100 people in the Bills locker. Everyone in the Bengals.
Would have to be like, yeah, that was not DeMar Hamlin.

Speaker 1 That was a clone, but we're not going to say anything.

Speaker 4 And I'm still confused about what the in game was of having a clone show up, but it's not actually DeMar. This is when we need Billy on the show.

Speaker 4 We do need Billy to explain, like, what was their, what was the motivation? What was the big chess move that they were playing there?

Speaker 4 But yeah, sucks for Bronny, sucks for his entire family, sucks for a lot of people. Yeah.
So hope he's okay. Yeah, hope he's okay.

Speaker 1 Hope he can get back to playing basketball.

Speaker 1 What else? Oh,

Speaker 1 do you, well, I guess, is that going to be in your hot seat, cool throne, Hank? Yeah. Okay.
All right. So let's go.
I don't really know how to go about it, but. Okay.
Well, you know what?

Speaker 1 I don't want to be mean. Yeah, but let's let Hank have his moment.
Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 7 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right, hot seat, cool throne. Hank, the floor is yours.
Make sure you turn your

Speaker 1 camera on. True.

Speaker 1 I can go about this two ways.

Speaker 1 I can be on the hot seat and be really out of pocket, or I can be on the cool throne and just be a nice guy. PFTL, I'll leave it up to you.
You got to be out of pocket.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be that out of pocket.

Speaker 4 Hank, I want to let you off the leash. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want me to be out of pocket?

Speaker 1 Be out of pocket. All right, my hot seat is Blake's.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 First of all, you got a new dog, named it Blake, and so all the other Blakes are on the hot seat. That's true.
And obviously, you know,

Speaker 1 this is Blake.

Speaker 1 It is a cool name for a dog. It's a great dog.
I met him the other day. He's an absolute delight.
Yep. Great dog.
You love him. We all love him.
I love him so much.

Speaker 1 But unfortunately, the lasting memory of your previous dog is misreporting this news on Jalen Brown.

Speaker 4 What does this have to do with Blake? What does this have to do with Blake?

Speaker 1 It was a two-for-one hot seat. Let him off the leash.
You can't be upset. I know.

Speaker 1 Is Blake not a good boy? Well, it's like you're already kind of like. He's a very good boy.
You're forgetting about Leroy. And if you remember Leroy, it's like, oh, Leroy.
Oh, remember when he

Speaker 1 had the worst breaking news of all time for no reason when he was already dead?

Speaker 1 Which was?

Speaker 1 That Jalen Brown was doing a sign-in trade. Okay, well, listen.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing, Jalen.

Speaker 1 You wait. See, no, I get to defend my dog.

Speaker 5 I was just saying the fine print.

Speaker 1 Leroy has the percentage.

Speaker 4 I get to defend my dog on this one. R.I.P., may he rest in peace forever.
Leroy got a scoop from somebody who had given him a scoop before.

Speaker 1 Scooping the grave and Leroy. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm aware that

Speaker 1 my dog is dead, Hank. That's mean.
Hey, I'm

Speaker 1 aware.

Speaker 1 I laid on his leg. You let me off the leash.
You see, go off the leash.

Speaker 1 I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to do this.
He didn't want to go there.

Speaker 4 I laid with Leroy as he talked.

Speaker 1 But you say Leroy, like in repentance. When he got the scoop, he was dead.

Speaker 4 Well, if you know anything, if you were, if you actually read Twitter.com or X, whatever they're calling it right now, you'd know that the account is called The Ghost of Leroy.

Speaker 4 It's not Leroy, it's Leroy's ghost. Okay.
Okay, so.

Speaker 1 Well, you said Leroy, not the ghost of Leroy.

Speaker 4 Leroy has never been perfect. The beauty of Leroy.

Speaker 1 The ghost of the- We were talking about the ghost of Leroy or Leroy. Can I finish? Well, you got to clarify.

Speaker 1 Can you let me finish?

Speaker 4 Thank you for letting me.

Speaker 1 Leroy or the ghost of Leroy. Fuck up, Hank.

Speaker 4 The ghost of Leroy.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 4 And Leroy as an alive dog was batting about 55, 60% on scoops. The point of Leroy was it was hilarious when he would get a scoop correct, and then other actual reporters would have to credit a dog.

Speaker 4 Which I agreed with

Speaker 1 when he was with us. Yes.

Speaker 4 And so every now and again, Leroy, his ghost, would come back with a ghost little howl, ooh,

Speaker 4 and he'd break some news, and he was right about some of the news. He was wrong.
There was a material change.

Speaker 1 But was he?

Speaker 4 There was a material change.

Speaker 1 But aside in trade, he's already signed.

Speaker 4 Well, there's a possibility at some point in the future he will be

Speaker 1 traded after he signs. That was my point.
So you've just, you're actually 50% of the way there. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, forgive me for not going that far with that.

Speaker 4 I was a little triggered when Hank put my dead dog on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 No, I put Blake's on the dog.

Speaker 1 I put Blakes on the hot seat.

Speaker 4 I'm aware that it's crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm aware that it was a good thing. Well, no, I'm not Blake's on the hot seat.
It's like, you know.

Speaker 4 Hank, why are you so mean about my dogs?

Speaker 1 I literally, like, you love Blake.

Speaker 1 off the leash. You did Lee, and you let him off the leash.

Speaker 1 I love Leroy too, but when you make these fake rumors and everyone believes them, I don't make the fake rumors.

Speaker 1 It triggers me, and it's like, why am I getting triggered at a dog who's dead because his owner won't, like, what's going on? I think fact-check.

Speaker 4 I think you're on the hot seat, Hank, for getting mad about a Twitter account from a dead dog.

Speaker 1 But you have to see what I'm saying. But I know who runs the Twitter account.
Yeah. And my, again, it always comes back to let, you know, let him rest.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 you had to have seen this coming, PFT, because when it did happen, you were kind of rubbing it in Hank's face

Speaker 1 on text about Jalen Brown's sign-in trade. A lot.
So, you had to have expected this reaction to come.

Speaker 4 Of course. Of course, Hank's going to do a victory lap.
He gets very few of them. He hasn't won a lot recently.
So he's going to hide stuff a little bit.

Speaker 4 Oh, great job, Hank. Maybe it's because you golf, like, conservatively speaking, 50 times more than I do.

Speaker 1 But yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 Leroy's account was wrong on this one.

Speaker 4 The dead ghost dog was wrong on this one. There There was a material change.
He hasn't been traded yet. He's not wrong.
He's just not right yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Either way, shout out to Jalen Brown.
Highest contract in NBA history. Will it buy him a left hand?

Speaker 1 Everyone says that. It's like,

Speaker 6 what do you think he's doing in the offseason?

Speaker 1 That's what people do in the offseason.

Speaker 1 Robert Williams is going to be shooting threes. Jalen Brown's going to be dribbling with his left hand.
The Celda's going to win the championships.

Speaker 1 Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum are 25 and 26, and they're about to be signed for the next 15 years.

Speaker 4 If you're saying we're definitely going to win a championship, if only our highest paid player can learn how to use his left hand, I don't think that's a bad situation.

Speaker 4 The highest paid player ever in NBA history, $304 million. If he can unlock the other side of his body, we're in good shape.
Exactly.

Speaker 4 How much are you going to have to pay him when he does learn to go left?

Speaker 1 We got time. We got time to figure that out.
It's very rare that

Speaker 1 the NBA contracts in the next like, whatever, 10 years, the salary cap's going to go up 10%.

Speaker 1 So it's like in five or 10 years, when Jalen Brown and Jason Datum are only 30, it's going to look like two great deals.

Speaker 1 When he's making $68 million in four years, it still will be a lot of money. Yeah, but if we have two or three rings, it's worth it.
Two or three, yeah. Not two, not three.

Speaker 1 It's rare that a joke that all of Twitter makes can make me laugh, but the clip of the actual one-handed basketball player

Speaker 1 who's an amputee, he does not have a left hand, and being like, this is what the Celtics just paid for, it made me laugh.

Speaker 4 It is funny. It was funny.

Speaker 1 And the robot,

Speaker 1 the robot shooter dribbling.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because we made a robot programmed AI on Jalen Brown. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Hank, listen, I'm sorry that you hate my dead dog.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 I hate you for making me feel any type of way towards someone who is dead. Yeah, he doesn't hate Leroy.

Speaker 4 He hates you. He hates me.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's very clear.

Speaker 1 You are basically Baby Gronk's dad.

Speaker 1 That's true. Like, it's not, I have nothing against Baby Gronk.
I have nothing against Leroy, but it's the one who's weaponizing him and blasting him out there when

Speaker 1 he's literally dead.

Speaker 4 Maybe I'll turn, maybe Blake will become Baby Leroy. And he'll break news that'll piss you off.

Speaker 1 I mean, again, at least. We should only have him break Boston's course news.

Speaker 4 Boston's course news.

Speaker 1 Exclusively that's new. And all bad news.
That's his entire beat.

Speaker 4 Belichick on the hot seat this year.

Speaker 1 Baby Leroy can't confirm.

Speaker 1 All right, what's your cool throne, Hank?

Speaker 1 Again, I didn't want to do that. Why don't you just give us the cool throne

Speaker 1 on the leash? Yes. Yes.
What would the version have been? You turned the page. Oh, the cool throne was just going to be the Celtics.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 That probably was an easier way to do it. But you were dying to get to the Leroy.
That's all I was worried about. It was hard.
Again, it's like

Speaker 1 it has nothing to do with Leroy, but it's like I did feel these type of way. Because, again, if you were doing all this behind the scenes out,

Speaker 1 you're going to talk about me and my stomach issues before the show, which was off the record.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 the texts that you were sending the day that you broke the faked story were so out of pocket. Like, I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 4 How are they out of pocket?

Speaker 1 You were rubbing it in his face. Yeah, okay.
Well,

Speaker 1 the best part about this, people who are watching on the YouTube won't realize this,

Speaker 1 especially people listening just to the audio, but we can't actually see Hank's face. He's behind

Speaker 1 a monster computer. So we have no idea.
He's just getting so angry like the fucking Wizard of Oz back there.

Speaker 5 It's like the dealer in deal on no deal. Yeah, the banker.

Speaker 1 By the way, I don't think. If you watch YouTube, You can see it on YouTube.
I didn't realize we had to say this, but there was a few people who commented this.

Speaker 1 But for the record, this is not our new studio. The new office is coming in September.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're also getting his wall painted, so it's not going to look as Chicago.

Speaker 4 Can we still have an entire wall in front of Hank's face so I don't have to look at him during shows?

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm down for that. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Well, you besmirch my dead dog.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll just go reverse. My hot seat was going to be Kim Kardashian because in another

Speaker 1 fake piece of media that you guys were trying to spew, it came out that Tom Brady is not dating Kim Kardashian and is actually dating supermodel Irena Scheich.

Speaker 4 We don't spew anything on this show, Hank. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just lies, fallacies, and just things to trigger me.

Speaker 1 Fact or fiction, Hank.

Speaker 4 Fiction.

Speaker 1 I don't even know. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 Fact or fiction. A guy can be seeing two different girls at the same time.

Speaker 1 Fact. Physically?

Speaker 4 Fact. Yes, physically.

Speaker 1 Anyone, yeah, you could see 20 girls at the same time.

Speaker 4 Okay, so he might still be seeing Kim Kardashian.

Speaker 1 But no, but that was a rumor about them speaking at a party. This is them actually being spotted out together.
Hank.

Speaker 1 If the rumor.

Speaker 4 Is that a party not out?

Speaker 1 No. No.
No. No.

Speaker 1 That's in? No.

Speaker 1 Tom Brady was driving her. They went out together.

Speaker 1 He picked her up. He dropped her off.
She was wearing the same clothes. Like, this is real rumors.
The Kim Kardashian stuff was just made up bullshit on the 4th of July. Okay, Hank.

Speaker 1 They happened to be at the same party. They had a conversation.

Speaker 1 And then it was like, oh, they're dating. It's actually the 3rd of July.

Speaker 1 Hank, fact or fiction. Tom Brady, if he got maybe denied by Kim Kardashian, what's the best way to possibly win her love? Go find a supermodel and be like, look, I don't need you, but please call me.

Speaker 1 No. Fiction.
Here I am in the press.

Speaker 4 Look how much buzz is being generated by me dating this person. Fiction.
Would the Kardashians be interested in generating buzz? I think they might.

Speaker 1 Fiction. Okay, fiction.
He was probably so sick of the rumors. He's like, I got to prove that this isn't a thing.

Speaker 1 Supermodel, let's go out to him.

Speaker 4 I bet he was thinking about Kim K the whole time. No.

Speaker 1 Okay, that was a very spicy hot seat cool through on PFT.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 On with the show.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Hank because he's a piece of shit.

Speaker 4 My other hot seat is

Speaker 4 Kyle Shanhan's wife.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Kyle Shanahan's wife is on the hot seat because Kyle gave a press conference today, and they were asking about his players, and they asked him about Debo Samuel in particular.

Speaker 4 And he said, Never in my life has anyone anyone sent me as many pictures of themselves shirtless as Debo Samuel, but it looks good.

Speaker 4 So apparently Debo's blowing them up with just with like topless picks, left and right. Apparently, Debo was saying he was out of shape last year.

Speaker 4 Debo says that he played like shit last year, which I would love to have a shitty Debo Samuel on my team. Yes.

Speaker 4 But he's showing, he's apparently texting all these pictures of Kyle, just being like, look how jacked up I am all offseason. I kind of like that.
So I kind of like it too. Yeah.
But

Speaker 4 hot seat, I guess, everyone that Kyle Shanahan's ever dated because I guess no one sends him nudes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now he gets Debo Samuel.

Speaker 4 I'll send nudes to Kyle Shanahan. Why not? Or topless.

Speaker 4 I'll try to break that record this offseason. Do it.
My cool throne

Speaker 1 is

Speaker 4 integrity.

Speaker 4 Integrity is on the cool throne.

Speaker 4 At the PGA Canadian

Speaker 4 tournament this weekend, this is a crazy story. A player named Justin Doden

Speaker 4 signed an incorrect scorecard, but it just wasn't incorrect.

Speaker 4 They had him listed as 3 under par, and his playing partner was in the clubhouse and saw it on TV that they listed him on the leaderboard 3 under par.

Speaker 4 His playing partner was like, wait, no, he's not 300 par.

Speaker 4 I verify a scorecard. I signed it, and I had him at 1 under par.
And so they alerted the PGA of Canada, whatever that organization is. They brought the scorecard out.
They looked at it.

Speaker 4 And on the last hole, he got a seven.

Speaker 4 In real life, he got a seven. On the scorecard, it was listed as a five.
Not only was it listed as a five, but it had been listed as a seven. Yep.

Speaker 4 And he used a pencil eraser to erase the seven and drew in a five and falsified a scorecard after his playing partner had already signed it. Yes.

Speaker 1 And it would have been the difference between making the cut and not.

Speaker 4 I kind of respect the move.

Speaker 1 Of cheating?

Speaker 4 I said on the last show, like,

Speaker 4 if you're on the PGA tour, just cheat. Yeah.
You can make a lot of money. I actually don't respect the move.
It's kind of a shitty thing to do, but

Speaker 4 it takes some balls to try to do it. It takes some huge balls.
So,

Speaker 4 yeah,

Speaker 4 it was bad. It was very, very bad.
So I guess he got kicked out of the tournament.

Speaker 1 Probably. Kick him off the tour.
People forget Vijay Singh did the same thing. Really? Yeah.
Did he? He did it in the Asian tour. He got kicked out of the tournament.

Speaker 1 This was before his career took off when he was 22 years old. Doesn't like to talk about it, but basically the same thing.

Speaker 4 I hope he learns from this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Wins and Masters.

Speaker 4 And Wins and Masters, and then we all forget about it 20 years from now.

Speaker 4 But yeah, the balls, the balls that it takes to actually erase his score.

Speaker 4 Also, if you're going to cheat, just

Speaker 4 change the number on two different holes and put that as a six and then change a five to one.

Speaker 1 Don't do the last hole.

Speaker 4 Not the last hole.

Speaker 1 It's the one that you remember the most.

Speaker 4 And probably the hole that you played the worst on. If you got a seven, then you're three under.

Speaker 1 He also hit it in the water.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so everyone knows.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everyone knows.

Speaker 4 So everyone knows yeah uh but

Speaker 1 you can't know you can't integrity don't worry plug god we're gonna get there integrity matters

Speaker 1 uh okay my hot seat i have two uh

Speaker 1 the first is joe biden's new dog which might actually just be major biden so major biden got kicked out of the white house biting people too much joe biden got a new german shepherd it has also bitten four people yeah there's no that's major biden It's the worst Washington commander.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's his name.

Speaker 4 The new dog is Commander the Dog.

Speaker 1 But that's Major. That's Major.
No.

Speaker 4 Major was. I'm saying they didn't kick out Major.
It's a clone.

Speaker 1 They just were like, yeah, we sent Major away. We got a new dog.
Looks exactly like Major. He just went on and just started biting everyone again.

Speaker 4 So there are a lot of videos. This is where the problem comes up of the two dogs together.
Oh. So they have been in the same room at the same time as each other.

Speaker 1 Either way, he's biting everyone.

Speaker 4 Our colleague, Uncle Chaps, made a very good point, which is you live in uh maybe the one of the most secure buildings you have access to anyone in the military that you want get somebody train the fucking dog yeah somebody should be there to train that fucking dog yeah although it kind of rocks if they're going out just biting every it's kind of funny to have a shithead dog like taking massive dumps in the oval office yeah that part's kind of funny it yeah and they should just put actually they could easily solve all of this and be like just put a

Speaker 1 lawn sign just beware of dog yeah boom problem solved yeah it's like well we we it was pretty clear this dog is is not well-behaved.

Speaker 4 Hank, do you also hate Commander?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 You are becoming Max.

Speaker 1 But Commander actually bites people.

Speaker 1 That's an owner issue. Okay, so this is a get Biden out.
No, I mean,

Speaker 1 at least maybe get him some more time with the dogs.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he should spend all of his time with the dogs.

Speaker 1 How you train a dog should actually play into electability.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 you should be given a puppy at the start of the campaign trial, and then they judge it based on obedience.

Speaker 4 If you can train a a puppy, you can train a Congress.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
My other hot seat is Elon Musk.

Speaker 1 So this was a couple days ago. Actually, no, it might have been today.
So Elon Musk, a couple days ago, tweeted, we should stop making our appliances so smart.

Speaker 1 And then this guy named Mike Lee Pearl posted an article about Elon Musk. I don't know when it was written.
I'll just read from it. So this is Elon basically being like, appliances are too smart.

Speaker 1 This article says

Speaker 1 it's talking about Elon Musk in his, in, in SpaceX or wherever.

Speaker 1 Elon comes down, he walks over to the breakfast bar and he picks up a package of Pop-Tarts. And the funniest thing to me was the fact that most of us take Pop-Tarts for granted.
He was transfixed.

Speaker 1 This was like a scene out of 2001, a Space Odyssey, when the apps examined the monolith. It was clearly the most fascinating thing he had seen that morning.

Speaker 1 Eventually, Musk realized that Pop-Tarts were best enjoyed toasted, so he opened a package and put two of them into the toaster.

Speaker 1 Thompson said, only Musk made the rookie mistake of inserting the pastries horizontally rather than vertically.

Speaker 1 When they pop back up, he had to stick his fingers into the toaster to grab his breakfast. This was a problem, and at about six in the morning, Musk proceeded to scream at full volume, fuck, it burns.

Speaker 1 Fuck, it burns. Two older ladies at the front desk nearby watched in mortified silence.
So maybe they're not so smart, the appliances. He just didn't know what a pop-tart was.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it reminds me of that Farside cartoon where it's the guy at Millville School for the Gifted, and and he's pushing on the door where it says pull. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So, Elon is a very smart guy, but he's also one of the dumbest idiots on the planet when he practices certain things.

Speaker 4 Practically speaking,

Speaker 4 some of the decisions, like the rebranding of X. Yeah.
Did you hear that he wanted to name PayPal X when he was working at PayPal? So he's been sitting on this idea.

Speaker 1 X is the coolest letter. It's the best letter.
It's the best letter by far. So we'll give him that.

Speaker 4 It's in my first tier of letters. Yep.

Speaker 1 Top of the title. Oh, letter draft Friday.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, we should should do that.

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 Hank's going to take him.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 he's the dumbest smart guy in the world.

Speaker 1 But I also like to just spin zone this. It's kind of like when Trump didn't know what a blizzard was.
Like, Elon Musk finding out as an adult what a pop-tart is.

Speaker 1 kind of rules because you basically get the rest of your life with pop-tarts. It's like when Nick, do you remember when Nick Van Exel found out what iced coffee was as like a 50-year-old man?

Speaker 1 Like that, it sucks that you don't have it for that long, but then to get that new surprise that late in life has to be awesome.

Speaker 4 That's kind of a treat. I had that with Uncrustables.
Yeah. And now it's like, holy shit,

Speaker 4 it's something to look forward to.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I kind of feel bad for Elon Musk that he never had Pop-Tarts growing up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He had diamonds. Explains why.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. And then my cool throne.
I don't really have a cool throne because it was going to be Jalen Brown, but Hank took it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'd say so.

Speaker 1 He He went hard in the paint. I'll just.
Messi scored two more goals. There it is.
Messi scored two more goals. He's the GOAT.

Speaker 1 Also, the Women's World Cup. They're playing it.
It's like one in the morning.

Speaker 4 They sure are.

Speaker 4 It's tough. Even as massive of women's soccer, as massive of fans of women's football as we are, Big Cat, it's tough for us to stay off.

Speaker 1 I will say that I'm betting it, and it's kind of a thrill to wake up and just be like, oh, one, oh, lost.

Speaker 4 Yeah, for me, it's just all loss. Yeah.
So that's been less than a thrill. But I guess we played Netherlands tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
8 p.m. I'll be watching.

Speaker 4 I'll be watching that game, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck yeah.

Speaker 4 I watched the second half of the Vietnam game. That was bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That was the worst three-goal victory I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 I had minus six and a half. So we got to get better.

Speaker 1 We got to get better.

Speaker 4 We got to get a lot better. It's always tough when Vietnam trails you.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jake.

Speaker 5 My hot seat's the Milwaukee Brewers. So the Milwaukee Brewers game against the Cincinnati Reds Monday night.
The first batter of the game, Ellie De La Cruz,

Speaker 5 he hit a long ball and it was robbed. It was going to be a home run.
So, then on his next at-bat, on the scoreboard, the Brewers put almost hit a home run in the first inning, but didn't.

Speaker 1 Oh, and what did he do?

Speaker 1 Hit a

Speaker 1 156-foot dinger.

Speaker 4 It's a bit unprofessional by the broadcast crew, right?

Speaker 5 No, not the broadcast crew.

Speaker 1 The scoreboard.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 5 The in-stadium scoreboard. Yeah, that is tough.
So he was staring at that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He showed them. Did you guys see the graphic? Like, maybe a week or two ago, where it was like longest home runs in history.
And it was just very funny because it was like Josh Gibson 700.

Speaker 1 Like Mickey Mana, Babe Ruth, 600. It's like, and then when did Statcast come out? And like, then it's like, like, the longest one in the last 20 years was like 505.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I feel like we used to get 55

Speaker 1 runs all the time.

Speaker 4 Well, they said that Alan Hill.

Speaker 1 The Babe Ruth and Mickey Mana ones were like hit into stadiums where there was no stands. There was just a field and they counted the roll.
Oh, this is like a golf dive?

Speaker 4 What do they carry?

Speaker 9 They caught the slope went down.

Speaker 1 It is kind of cool to look at old stadiums. The polo grounds, the coolest stadium to look at.
It makes no sense. Oh, all the designs.
The center field was like 600 feet.

Speaker 4 It was a rectangle. The old Detroit stadium is my favorite.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. The overhang double deck.
Yeah, that ruled. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Two football-related cool thrones. My first, Jimmy Graham.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's in the league.

Speaker 5 He's back with the Saints. When I saw that, I thought it said one-day deal to have League of

Speaker 1 playing this season.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the Saints. Did he play last year?

Speaker 5 I don't think so. He was on the Seahawks.

Speaker 6 Was it last year or the year before?

Speaker 1 He was on the Bears.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he went to the Bears after the Seahawks, I think.

Speaker 5 No, did not play in 2022. Bears 2021, Saints 23.

Speaker 9 Seahawks, oh, he was on the Packers.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Last year?

Speaker 5 2018-19.

Speaker 1 The Bears 2021.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. Nobody last year.

Speaker 4 I feel like that never happens that a player takes a full year off, especially that late in their career and comes back.

Speaker 5 So good for Jimmy Graham.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's flying the plane.

Speaker 4 He's flying planes. He's got to fly the team playing.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 My other cool throne, PFT, can you give that to me?

Speaker 5 Joe Burrow, he just signed a deal with Body Armor.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yes.

Speaker 1 Shout out Body Armor.

Speaker 5 Because Joe Burrow is our friend and Body Armor is our friend, and they're now partners.

Speaker 1 Nothing else?

Speaker 5 There was a video with Caleb that they announced the deal. The colleague.
So shout out Body Armor and Joe Burrow.

Speaker 4 He's got Zach Taylor.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, okay.
Yeah. He has Zach Taylor.

Speaker 1 Great video with Caleb. Great video with Caleb.

Speaker 5 Shout out Body Armor and Joe Burrow.

Speaker 4 And he's about to get paid.

Speaker 1 Also, cool throwing the corn fairy.

Speaker 5 Yes, 3:30 to 6:30 Eastern.tv.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 5 Thursday through Sunday. You're calling it?

Speaker 1 MV5 Invitational presenting. Go, Jake.
Yep. Will you have your pants off?

Speaker 1 Yes. Say yes.
Tune in to find out. Tune in to find out.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Pants off. Jake, you got to slip in one call for us.

Speaker 1 Tell me.

Speaker 1 I'm coming.

Speaker 4 I was going to say, he stuck that right in the hole. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 how about a long putt and just be like, it's getting there.

Speaker 1 It's getting there.

Speaker 5 But it has to drop or it doesn't hit the same.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If it doesn't drop, you just be like, oh, that was like a typo when you're going from your clit to your dick to your.

Speaker 1 Is there any water hazards?

Speaker 5 Yeah, 17 is a 200-yard par through with water to the left.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's wet.

Speaker 4 That's so wet.

Speaker 4 That's so wet.

Speaker 1 And he's going to be wet.

Speaker 5 Okay, it's getting there. It's wet.

Speaker 4 It's in the hole.

Speaker 1 It's in the hole. Say it real quick.

Speaker 4 Say he stuck that right in the hole.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 4 Got it. He's really long.

Speaker 1 Also, just ask.

Speaker 4 Say this guy's really long.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just continually ask everyone what their favorite hole is.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, dude. Better speed up the pace of play.
They're going to start stroking guys out there. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's true. Wouldn't want to see a guy stroked today.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've seen a few guys stroked before, and it's not pretty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just throw it in there. Be loose.
We'll see. Be loose with this.

Speaker 1 That's a no.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's get to our interview. Speaking of golf, awesome interview with Brian Harmon.
Just a fucking great dude.

Speaker 1 Like, I think we're friends with him now because he is a cool dude who just won the Claret Jug.

Speaker 10 So, PFT, before we get to Brian Harmon, Experian is your big financial friend, helping you find ways to save, manage your credit, and apply for cards labeled no ding decline.

Speaker 1 No approval, no ding.

Speaker 10 Download the Experian app today. Disclaimer: Applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved.

Speaker 10 Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry, which will impact your credit scores.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. He is fresh off his open championship win.
He's got the claret jug right bef behind him. It is Brian Harmon.
He is mega.

Speaker 1 First of all, congrats.

Speaker 1 I know you're probably on a whirlwind. Thank you for coming on.
Because actually, let's start there. What has the last like 48 hours been? Because it's probably been insane for you.

Speaker 11 Sunday night, didn't sleep.

Speaker 11 I got picked up at 3 a.m. from our rental house.
Flew out at 5.55,

Speaker 11 slept, I don't know, a few hours on the

Speaker 11 airplane, and then full-on, full-on dad since then.

Speaker 1 Got home. Oh, man.
That's humble.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it is. Back there, it's like, oh,

Speaker 11 don't let it change you. I'm like, change me.
I'm 36 with three kids, buddy.

Speaker 11 Like, I'm set.

Speaker 4 Yeah, are they treating you any different now that you're a major champion?

Speaker 11 I was up at 6.30 with a bottle this morning from a one-year-old. It's just

Speaker 1 tough, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I mean, it was incredible to watch. I will be fully transparent.
I didn't know I was a Brian Harmon fan until this weekend.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 somehow made all of England hate you and the U.S.

Speaker 1 And I love that because so what you said

Speaker 1 in the post-game or the post-round interview, I think on Saturday, that they were saying stuff you couldn't repeat. You can repeat it here.

Speaker 1 So, what was the stuff that was being said to you while you were trying to win?

Speaker 1 The clear chug.

Speaker 11 Short stuff, you're going to choke. You don't have the stones for this.

Speaker 11 You know,

Speaker 11 F you, F this, F, F, you, you, you know, just, I mean, nasty stuff, but I'm an SEC football fan. I mean, it's like, bro, like,

Speaker 11 y'all are killing me, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's nothing compared to Death Valley. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Go to LSU on a Saturday night, you'll, you'll hear way worse.

Speaker 11 Man, I've welcomed the LSU fans to Athens many a times, but you know, it's just

Speaker 11 it was brutal.

Speaker 1 It was brutal.

Speaker 11 I just can't, I can't imagine someone walking down, you know, like Augusta National

Speaker 11 and someone yelling, like, oh, you know, you're going to choke. Someone's got to leave.
It just wouldn't, it's just not, it's just, it's off-putting.

Speaker 11 It's just a weird.

Speaker 1 Did it fuel you a little bit?

Speaker 4 Did that give you extra motivation?

Speaker 11 It didn't hurt. You know, like I've always said,

Speaker 11 I've been saying if they wanted me to play worse, they should have been nice to me.

Speaker 1 That'd have hurt me.

Speaker 11 But,

Speaker 11 yeah, I mean,

Speaker 11 the passion of the fans over there is cool. I was obviously on the bad end of it, but it's not a lot of times that we get to play what I consider as a real away game.
That's what it felt like.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and if you're watching on the YouTube right now, you know this already. But if you're listening, you should just know that he has the claret jug behind him.

Speaker 4 It's over his right shoulder right now. I think probably the best trophy in golf.
I love the claret jug. Did you put, have you drank out of it yet?

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 11 we filled it up with beer. Again, it's beer on

Speaker 11 Sunday night. And then,

Speaker 11 so

Speaker 11 my wife rents this lake house pretty much every year up here in upstate New York. And get here, and last night we were going to...

Speaker 11 Fill it up again and she's looking in the in the bottom and she's like we're not we're not drinking out of this thing She said this thing needs a scrubbing.

Speaker 11 It is it is not not pretty on the inside of things as well.

Speaker 11 We'll just deal with that later. Let's kick that can down the road a little bit.

Speaker 4 There was one guy in the British media that was, he wrote an article about your bow hunting and all this stuff, kind of calling you barbaric American.

Speaker 4 And they said, basically, like, I shudder to think what he's going to drink out of the claret jug. Like, you're going to fill it up with animal blood.
Yeah, like,

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 11 They kept asking me questions about hunting. I was like, man, they must be really interested about, you know, all my deer hunting and stuff.
Boy, they didn't like it at all.

Speaker 1 They were. No.

Speaker 1 You know how they hunt over in England?

Speaker 4 It's way worse than in America.

Speaker 1 It's way worse. It's way worse.

Speaker 11 And it's like, well, do you guys eat meat? Oh, yeah, we love meat. Well, then what are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was very fun. It was bizarre that you became this guy.
I think it was a lot because of Rory and Tommy Fleetwood.

Speaker 1 But like I said, by the end of the tournament, I was like, wait, I'm a huge Brian Harmon fan because he's standing up for America. Like, this is, yeah, he hunts.
Yeah, he owns a tractor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he likes SEC football. Like, what? Fuck you.
Let's, you know, anyone anyone going away. What now? What now? What are you going to do? All right.

Speaker 1 So now that we've gassed you up enough,

Speaker 1 you got me all fired up. Yeah, we got you fired up.
This is what we do. We do a little rope-a-dope with all of our guests.
The waggle is really annoying.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it's awful. I'm sorry.

Speaker 11 Sorry to everybody.

Speaker 11 Yeah,

Speaker 11 it's not great.

Speaker 11 I was, when I first got on tour, I was one of the fastest guys on tour. You can ask anybody, junior golf, amateur golf, college golf.
I was go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 11 And I just found myself kind of twiddling my thumbs all day. And Lucas Glover is one of our really good friends.
And I asked him, he's a fast player, always been.

Speaker 11 I said, man, I don't know if I can do this. Like, I can't sit around today.
He's like, man. He goes, if I could go back and do it again, I slowed down.
And I made a conscious effort to slow down.

Speaker 11 And I just, I didn't understand that when I slowed down, it just opened up like this whole, like,

Speaker 11 like kind of not like OCD. I don't want to, you know, say that, but it's just like, I just, I don't want to go until I'm ready.
And I just got slower and slower.

Speaker 11 And I've sped up a little bit, but I'm working on it. But it's like, damn, I slowed down, started playing really good.
So,

Speaker 1 I mean, what?

Speaker 11 Say it sucks. I know.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 that's a great answer because being like, yeah, I know it sucks, but like, this is how I play, I think is, is totally fine. It's the guys who are slow who are like, oh, I'm not slow.

Speaker 1 That's what gets annoying.

Speaker 11 I'm fully cognizant of it. I wish it wasn't that way.
I try to make up for it where, like, when it's my turn, I'm ready to go.

Speaker 11 Like, I'm not like, oh, I'm going to get a number now, or now I'm going to read my putt. And so I feel like I try to be as ready as I can.
And I'm still working on it.

Speaker 11 I just, I would love to get back to just like, you know, look, a couple looks and then go.

Speaker 11 But it's one of those things where I probably hit too many shots when I used to play really fast before I was ready to play, just because I'm trying to like, it's almost like you're trying to make a point, like how fast you are.

Speaker 11 Right. Yeah, just what wasn't real productive.
So I look, I get it. I understand.
And I've heard it from, I've heard it from everybody, but

Speaker 11 you know, I'm drinking out of Claire Jugg on Sunday night, so I really don't give a shit.

Speaker 11 I'd love to care more, but

Speaker 1 did you? I don't know if you saw it, but the broadcast did a waggle tracker, which kind of did you dirty. And it was a shot where I think you had like 20 waggles.

Speaker 1 So it was like they had you going by that 20th one.

Speaker 11 Ooh, I thought it was a good shot, too.

Speaker 11 Sometimes it's one waggle, sometimes it's 20 or however many.

Speaker 11 Those assholes.

Speaker 11 I was trying to put a ruler up for how tall I was too.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, he's a short guy, waggles it all the time.

Speaker 1 Clowns.

Speaker 4 How tall are you? Because

Speaker 4 I'm a fellow short king as well.

Speaker 11 5'7.

Speaker 4 5'7? Is that with the shoes on or with the shoes off?

Speaker 11 Well, I mean, if they asked me to take them off, I'd have taken them off, but you know, here I was, shoes on.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like you and Messi having a great weekend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Short kings are back.

Speaker 11 I don't even know how tall Messi is. So why doesn't that get brought up?

Speaker 1 It does.

Speaker 1 It does. Yeah, well,

Speaker 11 I don't watch soccer. I hate to disappoint all the Europeans again.

Speaker 1 Here's a tip. And this is just a free tip.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe just pick a little bit of a smaller SUV to get out of. That's all.

Speaker 1 Because that clip of you getting out of the SUV, that hurt because it was like, oh, that's him. There he is.
And the SUV was towering over you. So we got to get you a smaller car.

Speaker 11 He's got books in the seat and everything, huh?

Speaker 1 but it was i mean so in a real question about like you're you're obviously not the tallest guy it's pretty crazy watching pga golf right now and like it's all about the distance and how hard how far guys can hit it out of the t-box how are you able to like compete week in and week out because you're so consistent in your career knowing that guys are going to drive it you know 30 40 yards past you and you got to make it up somehow

Speaker 11 you know I told the story earlier. I was playing with Rory at Memorial.
This was probably seven or eight years ago. And I've always said Rory's probably the,

Speaker 11 I mean, at least in our generation, he's the most talented driver of the golf ball that maybe he's ever lived. He's incredible.
He really is.

Speaker 11 And obviously, he's bombing it. He's in these beautiful drives, but he gets up on this on the short par four and he knocked it way down there.

Speaker 11 And he just like feathered this perfect little wedge up onto the green, like in between shot.

Speaker 11 And I was like, damn, man, I'm not, I'm not any better at him at that. And like, I have to be a lot better

Speaker 11 at that than he is. And

Speaker 11 that's, that's kind of where I try to make up the difference. It's like the stuff that doesn't take like pure,

Speaker 11 you know, God-given athletic ability to do. Like, I'm going to try to be one of the best at that.

Speaker 1 So around the green

Speaker 11 wedges, short irons, irons, mid-iron, stuff like that. Stuff where you don't have to be able to swing to 130 miles an hour.
Like, I just don't want to give up any ground there.

Speaker 11 And then I figure I got a puncher's chance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and you're, I mean, your putting was out of this world good on uh all weekend long. Was there a moment when you knew like I'm in the zone?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm because I think it was the stat was everything, you made everything within five feet, and you made 13 out of 14, 10 and in, and like the lowest amount of putts in 20 years.

Speaker 1 Like, you were, you just made made everything so did you could you feel that were you like this is i the the cup is looking bigger i'm i'm hitting every putt

Speaker 11 i i had a feeling that i had a big putt week coming um

Speaker 11 i've been putting really good for about a month i really started striking the ball well kind of mid last year like a lot better than i've kind of statistically done for a long time and the putters just been kind of lagging um

Speaker 11 But yeah, I was I was hooping some you know the mid-range stuff you get a lot of mid-range putts over there where the pins are in the pins are around top of hills or right behind bunkers so you're really having to you know be strategic and I was hooping a lot of you know putts where I'd played safe into the green

Speaker 11 and those are the ones that you kind of have to have over there but um yeah

Speaker 11 I just I made some really good mid-length ones and all the short ones were the greens are a little slower over there but but those greens were unbelievably pure I mean they did an incredible job yeah you made kind of a strategic blunder though afterwards you gave away your secret weapon the 50 mirror i don't care y'all

Speaker 4 i mean i'll give you one yeah the 50 mirror that you buy we're big fans of junk science in all its forms and i feel like golf

Speaker 11 there's no one on the planet that owns more golf trinkets and and just nonsense training aids than i do instagram's got me on the full

Speaker 11 every time it's like oh something that lets your you know makes a beat when your wrist goes i've got it all of them yeah i i love that You're just like us.

Speaker 4 This is what normal, like weekend golfers, we see those Instagram ads. We're like, that's going to fix my swing.
The one that's like almost like a fly fishing rod that you practice your driving with.

Speaker 4 What's the dumbest thing that you've ever bought to try to improve your game?

Speaker 11 I bought the

Speaker 11 I've got the

Speaker 11 club that's got the blue really wippy shaft on it. It might have only selled a fly fishing one where it literally

Speaker 11 bended around your ear.

Speaker 11 That one ain't it. it.

Speaker 1 Doesn't work for you?

Speaker 1 That's fantastic.

Speaker 4 But you got to keep using the mirror, though. I mean, the results are not.

Speaker 11 The mirror's not going anywhere. I've got the one I love is the,

Speaker 11 I use it every day when I warm up. It's a big bent club, like the compressor.

Speaker 11 That one's money. That one's good.

Speaker 1 Suggest that one.

Speaker 1 What about, all right, so

Speaker 1 off topic on golf, and I want to, I have a couple more golf questions in a minute, but Megacorp.

Speaker 1 When they decided to sign you,

Speaker 1 was there even a negotiation or you're like, wait, there's a thing called Megacorp? I'm in. Because, I mean,

Speaker 1 I had no idea what Megacorp was. And your hat saying Megacorp, I was like, holy fuck, there's a Megacorp?

Speaker 11 They're awesome, man. They are so much fun.
They are an absolute,

Speaker 11 they're an absolute riot. And we go and we play.

Speaker 11 I've done some days with them up in Wilmington, and they've got a golf course up there we play all the time. And whenever they order their drinks, they call them airstrikes.

Speaker 11 So they bring in these, they bring, you know, they just, oh, I need an airstrike, and here comes these drinks from just the woods. These people just bring these,

Speaker 11 they are absolute, they are absolute beauties. They are so much fun to be around.

Speaker 4 Yeah, do you feel like you play better? Like you get that mega edge because you're wearing mega corp on your hat? I feel like we're doing a mega cast right now. Like this is a great.

Speaker 1 We're crushing this interview. You're not a major champion.

Speaker 4 You're a mega champion.

Speaker 1 Mega champion.

Speaker 11 That is so funny that they just

Speaker 11 hammered you guys with

Speaker 11 all the stuff. You just got it littered across the studio now.

Speaker 1 Instantly. Like

Speaker 1 we did the podcast on Sunday night.

Speaker 11 They just make stuff appear. If you need something, it's just

Speaker 1 there.

Speaker 1 It was 9 a.m. I walked out of my house and there was five boxes of Mega Corp merch.

Speaker 1 We still think there's something shady, but that's, you know, we don't have to bring that up with you because Megacorp Megacorp is just like, Megacorp is going to take over the world.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. I don't know how.
I don't know what they're doing, but I'm in. Like, I want to be, when the history is said,

Speaker 1 all said, you're done.

Speaker 1 We want to be on the side of Megacorp.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Can't beat them, join them. Just got to go.

Speaker 4 Some guys have major league baseball advertisements on their shirts.

Speaker 4 You're rocking a company that does dominate the world. Megacorp.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's pretty good. Pretty good.
I'd say advantage to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I got a question that's not about golf either, but it's about your bow hunting.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 4 I don't know if you're going to get invited on the Joe Rogan podcast. You might.

Speaker 4 He might want to talk to you, but we can do that conversation right here.

Speaker 4 What is it about bow hunting that first, you know, a lot of guys, they go hunting and they never try to even, you know, be a bow hunter. But I feel like using the bow, it's almost like a...

Speaker 4 a type of zen that you have to get yourself into with the concentration.

Speaker 4 I guess it's probably, you can tell me, is it the skills that you learn while bow hunting, are those translatable at all to playing golf?

Speaker 11 Yeah, trying to, I mean, so I've killed, I've been out to Colorado four times, killed four really nice elk, and

Speaker 11 just having to settle yourself down, control your nerves, and um,

Speaker 11 there's something really primal about it, man. Just being out there, it's just super intimate, like you're right there with them.

Speaker 11 Um, you know, with I've I've done plenty of hunting with rifles, rifles. And,

Speaker 11 you know, just

Speaker 11 doing it from that far away for me, it's just not the same as being in something's backyard, in something's house, and

Speaker 11 being right there with them. So

Speaker 11 for me, that's the only way I really care to do it anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, the difference between Rory and you.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Anyone can bomb a 300-yarder.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You're going with a bow.

Speaker 1 Are you ready to tell us how much the tractor is that you bought?

Speaker 1 I mean, I will. I mean, it's public.
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they asked you, and you said you hadn't told your wife yet. I assume you've told your wife.

Speaker 1 So you bought yourself a tractor.

Speaker 1 What was the price of the tractor?

Speaker 1 Another tractor.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 11 It'll be the

Speaker 11 third one that I own. But it's a...
The actual tractor is probably $70,000. And then with all the attachments, it's probably closer to $100.

Speaker 1 That's nothing. Come on.
You just want, I mean, you won the Clare Jug. Like, I like that.
You know, when you ask Brian Harmon, what's the first thing you buy? It's a tractor.

Speaker 1 You're walking off the 18th being like, oh, I'm going to buy this tractor I had my eyes on.

Speaker 11 Hey, man, I got three

Speaker 11 college tuitions to pay for, man, down the road. We got to

Speaker 1 play.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 4 that's what you should do next time. Don't roll up in the Chevy Tahoe.

Speaker 1 Roll up on a tractor.

Speaker 1 I might put it on a boat for True next year and roll up to the course every day with it.

Speaker 1 So, back to golf real quick. We were talking about it on Saturday night.
You're sitting in your Airbnb.

Speaker 1 You got a five-stroke lead or a six-stroke lead, whatever it was. Are you sitting there being like, well, this can go one of two ways here?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm either going to win this thing or I'm going to choke and it's going to be, yeah, drastically terrible.

Speaker 11 That can only go two ways. You know,

Speaker 11 you're either, you know, you're either the guy that's going to win it or the guy that's going to lose it.

Speaker 1 It's hard.

Speaker 11 It'd almost be easier to be a shot back or a shot in front.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it was a unique experience. But

Speaker 11 I just, I kind of had a feeling I was getting ready to go Sunday morning. I was in the shower and

Speaker 11 I found myself worrying about it. And I just kind of felt like, you know, you can't win the open in the shower.
So just get to work and

Speaker 11 see what happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's smart. Now, were you visualizing Kirby Smart when you said that?

Speaker 1 Because we were, I was just thinking about.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's just a funny visual to be like, what would Kirby do here?

Speaker 11 Man, I'm just super impressed with the guy. You know, I've known him in passing.
We've spent just a little bit of time together.

Speaker 11 And a lot of the stuff that he says seems cliche, but you're like, damn, it just, the dude just gets it done. Like, he just, just an animal, relentless, and super impressive.

Speaker 11 So, I'm like, well, I'm just going to copy him. That seems like it's working.
We'll just try that out. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Has he reached out to you?

Speaker 11 Yeah, yeah, he texted me. Um, say, congrats, and and um, yeah, he's he's a he's a great guy.

Speaker 1 That's pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, you, and you just all you do is win right now because you are a Georgia Bulldog.
You got back-to-back national titles, they are a problem right now. Yeah,

Speaker 11 they are a problem, they got it rolling.

Speaker 1 Now, now, talking about the psyche of a Georgia fan, are you guys now like in the cocky we expect it?

Speaker 1 Because for the longest time, like Mark Rick years, it was like a lot of like good teams, but never could get over the hump. And Nick Sabin is always like the boogeyman.

Speaker 1 Are you now comfortably like, yeah, Georgia is here and we're not going anywhere? This is going to be our decade.

Speaker 11 I don't think any real Georgia fan feels that way. I think there's enough scar tissue there where you're like, ah, like,

Speaker 11 when is the curtain going to get ripped back? Like, when is the, when's your heart going to get ripped out again?

Speaker 11 Because it was, I mean, wow. I mean, those 10 years for as awesome as Mark Rick was and as great as a person he was, boy, we had some tough games.
Just games you're like,

Speaker 11 man, again, like, again.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 so

Speaker 11 I don't think any Georgia fans taking it for granted. At least not any ones that watch the same games I did growing up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're kind of in the same situation that you were in on Saturday night. It's like everyone expects Georgia to go out there and win every game.

Speaker 4 I think they're, what, like minus 150 to win the SEC, like already, against all those other great teams that they have. So when you're thinking about Kirby Smart in the shower, as you said earlier,

Speaker 1 what are you imagining? What are you imagining him saying? Is he wearing the visor in the shower? Or is he halfway? How wet is he in the shower?

Speaker 4 Oh, he's wet. He's a white.

Speaker 11 He still has to use shampoo. That's the one great thing about being bald.
No shampoo.

Speaker 1 Bar stove.

Speaker 4 So you're going in Sunday and you have this lead. You've got a massive lead and you're trying your very best.

Speaker 4 Just, okay, we got to go out there, win the open championship, because the alternative is that you're known as a choker at that point. Are you looking at the scoreboard?

Speaker 4 Are you looking at the leaderboard during your round? Are you planning your shots based off, okay, I still got this lead? Let's continue to be safe.

Speaker 4 Are you just going out there and executing the way that you planned at the start of the round?

Speaker 11 Yeah, just going out and executing. I couldn't help but think about how awful pre-bent defense is.
Like, I hate to keep bringing up football references, but it's like

Speaker 11 that ever, it never works. It never works.
And I wanted to stay aggressive. My game plan had been really good all week.

Speaker 11 I've been driving, you know, driving the hell out of the ball and obviously putting it good. So I just wanted to keep putting pressure on the golf course.

Speaker 11 And I've spent too much of my career worrying about what other guys were doing, probably, you know, much to my detriment.

Speaker 11 So I was out there just trying to play against myself and just trying to out execute myself every time, just every time trying to get a little bit more confident, a little bit better.

Speaker 11 And I did a really good job of that, I thought.

Speaker 1 So you bring up, you know, your career.

Speaker 1 It's a fascinating career because you've been tremendously successful, made a ton of money playing golf, but you obviously hadn't had this moment that you had on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Was there any part of you, you know, getting into your 30s where you're like, maybe it won't ever happen.

Speaker 1 Like maybe this major thing, i i'm a really really good golfer i'm better than 99.9999 of the world but that that last piece it's not it's just not in the cards for me yeah especially um

Speaker 11 you know a couple years ago i had it had a pretty good chance at augusta i was um they made a couple shots back going to saturday ended up finishing you know 10th or 11th or something but Felt like, you know, at that point, I was like, all right, maybe I'm kind of rounding in for him.

Speaker 11 And then I come back the next year and,

Speaker 11 you know, I've got four iron in where I had nine iron the year before. So, I mean, these courses are getting longer.
They're, they're making them different.

Speaker 11 And there was definitely a point where I'm like, man, I don't know if I

Speaker 11 don't know if I can, I don't know if I can elevate enough. I don't know if I've got the skill set to hang sometimes.

Speaker 11 And, you know, you go six years without winning. And I had all these great top tens and was around the lead a lot, but it was just never,

Speaker 11 you know, yeah, it's, it's, it's been a hard time, I mean, as successful as I've been,

Speaker 11 I had to just kind of take a step back and be like, you know, is that, is that good enough?

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 for me, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 11 I'm glad that

Speaker 11 I kept at it. I've always

Speaker 11 liked the grind of it. I've always, you know,

Speaker 11 kind of like climbing out of bad spots. So,

Speaker 11 yeah, man, it's like I said, this this has all been a kind of a whirlwind, but

Speaker 11 I'm not shocked, but I'm, you know, I'm surprised, I guess, because

Speaker 11 I hadn't really,

Speaker 11 I mean, I'd always knew that I had the potential, but I never really considered like what it would be like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is tremendous.

Speaker 4 Golf is such a tough sport because, as well as you can play, you can go out there and play to the best of your ability, and sometimes you still don't win. There's only one guy that wins every weekend.

Speaker 4 do you still have fun playing golf when you're not winning if you go out there and you you play to the best of your ability is that still fun for you or in the back of your head is like shit that sucks i i i didn't win again like is that does that take away from your enjoyment of it it it starts wearing on you when you've got like

Speaker 11 you know you've got

Speaker 11 you know your peers that have won more times and and

Speaker 11 You start looking like, damn, man, I've had 50 top 10s and I got two wins.

Speaker 11 Like, maybe, maybe i'm not maybe i'm not a winner you know i feel like i've wanted every level and and done it you know a bunch but like when is it when's it coming is it not coming is it you know when's when's my turn again so yeah it's it's a it's a rough sport you're having to beat you're having to beat someone playing the best golf of their life every single week and you know other than for guys like tiger rory and the guys that are just complete animals, it's pretty tough deal.

Speaker 4 You're a winner. You're a mega winner now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And

Speaker 4 Can you settle something?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 4 I read that you're actually right-handed. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Speaker 11 Yeah, righty. Yeah, full ratty.

Speaker 4 So why'd you decide to start playing golf left-handed?

Speaker 11 Baseball. Yeah,

Speaker 11 play baseball.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 11 my parents tell a story when I was little, every time I pick something up, I'd

Speaker 11 swing it lefty. So they'd get me

Speaker 11 a right-handed glove, considering I was going to, or think I was going to throw it. So I'd catch it with the right-handed glove and take my glove off and throw it back to him.

Speaker 1 Like Jim Appetit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The whole story though is tremendous because it is like it's so crazy thinking about any professional sport, you know, the guys who don't win the big championship over and over, but they're still so good and they're still so accomplished at their profession and just keep grinding and finding that one moment.

Speaker 1 Like, those are the stories you watch sports for, you know?

Speaker 1 Not over there. They hated me.

Speaker 1 That is true. Not over there.

Speaker 1 Not over there.

Speaker 11 There was no underdog love over there. They hated me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's true.
You should have. Did you chirp back at all? Did you say anything back?

Speaker 1 Oh, boy, did I want to. Boy, did I want to?

Speaker 4 We can give you the floor right now.

Speaker 4 If there's anything you'd like to say,

Speaker 11 you can't give them the fuel, man. Because

Speaker 11 if you let them know it's bugging bugging you, then

Speaker 11 they won't stop.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's true. That's smarter than you.

Speaker 11 Make a bogey like on Saturday and people are cheering. You're like, what the?

Speaker 1 Come on, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, break, but I'm doing my best.

Speaker 1 Come on. Yeah.

Speaker 4 If you were to address the country of England right now, you have the floor. What would you like to say to them?

Speaker 4 Oh, man.

Speaker 11 Red coats came and went.

Speaker 1 That'll be about it.

Speaker 1 You got the clear chug. You got the clear chug.

Speaker 1 I had one last question.

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Speaker 1 So, you have shot a hole-in-one in the same round before.

Speaker 1 That's insane. What was going through your head when you hit the first and then when you hit the second? This is in tournament play.

Speaker 1 Like, people,

Speaker 1 you know, obviously professional golfers most of it a hole in one, but you wait your whole life to hit a hole in one, you hit it two times in one day. Like, tell me how that felt.

Speaker 11 Well, the first one was on number either three or four, and it got me back to even par for the day. And then the next one was, I think, on hole 14, and it also got me back to even par for the day.
So

Speaker 11 it wasn't like I was setting the world on fire. I was sucking wind.
It was the first, it was the final round of the first playoff event. And, gosh, I think I was 80th or 90th on the FedEx Cup.

Speaker 11 So, man, I was grinding trying to get, I think, into the top 100 for the next week. So, I mean, two hole in ones, I think, got me just inside the top 100.

Speaker 11 I think it ended up finishing inside the top 70 somewhere for the year. So, I mean, I was stoked to have them, but I was just, I mean, full-on grind mode trying to.

Speaker 11 I just went, I wasn't very good.

Speaker 1 I wasn't very good.

Speaker 1 You did buy drinks for everyone. I saw that.
Credit to you.

Speaker 11 What a great place to have. Two all-in-ones.
That was fantastic.

Speaker 11 Luckily, our mutual friend Kevin Kisner was well into the bag, so

Speaker 11 he couldn't hurt me too bad by the time I showed up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, he bought 300 beers and a bunch of bottles for the media center for all the journals.

Speaker 4 That's like $190,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where were those

Speaker 11 to fail me out when these guys were asking all these hunting questions last week?

Speaker 1 Buy them all this booze and then they'll receive it. That's a good point.
That's a good point. No zombie goes unpunished.
I did have one last, last question. You have not tweeted since 2020.

Speaker 1 You want to fire off a tweet right now?

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 1 maybe just the eyeballs? Maybe the eyeballs? Just tweet the eyeballs?

Speaker 11 Twitter just doesn't make me happy.

Speaker 1 It just doesn't.

Speaker 1 What if you just said?

Speaker 4 What if you just said, I'm going on part of my take tomorrow? Mega. Mega episode.

Speaker 1 I have a mega episode. Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be great. We can figure that out.
We can figure that that out.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I'm about to get my login back.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, I don't think you have your login, but yeah,

Speaker 11 everybody's blue checks. Do I still have a blue check? Probably not now, huh?

Speaker 1 No, you definitely don't. You definitely don't.
Yeah, you need to just tweet. Wait, do you have

Speaker 4 $8, you can get a blue check? Do you have $8?

Speaker 11 Or a green check? Isn't there a green check now, too? Blue check.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you got?

Speaker 1 Green check. You're smart.
You're smart to not be on Twitter. But yeah, if you just tweet, you know, mega episode coming on part of my take.

Speaker 1 People would like it.

Speaker 11 First time.

Speaker 11 Y'all and Mega Corp are a matchman in heaven.

Speaker 1 I just want a truck. Yeah.

Speaker 4 The merch is cool, but it would be, you know, it's really cool if they just sent me a giant Mega Corp truck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And we're going to say this right now, just so it's clear, because Megacorp, like, they negotiate very well because of their name. And how could you not be mega?

Speaker 1 But this is the last time we're giving them free advertising. So they're going to have to start becoming a title sponsor, pardon my take.
Yeah, they will, man.

Speaker 4 They'll do it. it.

Speaker 4 I actually looked it up. Their stock jumped about 9%

Speaker 4 since Thursday, since you started playing.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 You should get a little cut of that.

Speaker 1 And so should we.

Speaker 1 It's going to jump again tomorrow. So should we.

Speaker 1 A little cake for that.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
Drone strike me, Megacorp.

Speaker 1 Listen, Megacorp should be like, why not? Why can't we,

Speaker 1 we're like Wayne's World. We'll sell out.
We'll wear Megacorp. I'll get a Megacorp tattoo.
I don't care.

Speaker 11 I'm very confident there's a few employees that have Mega Corp tattoos.

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't you? Yeah, I would tell you.

Speaker 4 I might name my next fictional son Mega Corp.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I'm just watching this like perfect synergy of like,

Speaker 11 it's happening.

Speaker 1 It's going. Who doesn't want to be mega? Yeah, this is like, you know, like people who make their job, their entire personality, it's lame, except if you work at Mega Corp.
Like that is totally fine.

Speaker 1 I mean, y'all nailed it.

Speaker 11 You've nailed it. It's just, it's, it's perfect.

Speaker 4 All right. My last, last, last question.
Give me a prediction for college football. What are the Bulldogs going to go this year? Is anybody going to beat them?

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 11 Tennessee at Tennessee is a tough one.

Speaker 11 Next last game of the year,

Speaker 11 SEC Championship will be a tough one. I mean, you know, without a missed field goal from Ohio State, they lose in the playoffs.
So

Speaker 11 it's just so hard. Kirby will have them ready to play, but there's no telling.

Speaker 11 My prediction is

Speaker 11 I think they'll drop one, but that

Speaker 11 they'll end up carrying the torch at the end of the year.

Speaker 1 All right, well, Kirby,

Speaker 4 you think about Brian in the shower when you're getting ready for the SEC championship game this year?

Speaker 1 It's a mutual shower. Maybe we'll just get in the shower with him.
Let's just get

Speaker 1 to the shower. It's a little northwestern there.

Speaker 4 I don't know if we need that. We're talking about southeastern.

Speaker 1 Human loofah.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Brian, you're a recurring guest now, so we will definitely definitely have you back on.
This is a lot of fun, man. Yeah.
And are you playing in the BMW?

Speaker 11 In Chicago, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we'll see you then. Yep.
So, yeah, we'll be there for the practice round. So we'll see you then.

Speaker 4 I'm just going to show up in case you hit a hole in one. You have to buy me a beer.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 There you have it. I'll buy you a beer anyway.
How about that? Okay.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Yeah, we're going to also be just wearing megacorp gear, so you'll know who it is.

Speaker 11 They'll buy you a beer, too, I promise.

Speaker 1 i promise all right well thank you so much man congrats again uh awesome story and appreciate it thank y'all appreciate y'all having me

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Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

Speaker 1 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hank?

Speaker 1 Hank? Do it over, do it over. No, we'll keep this in.

Speaker 4 How you feeling, Hank? You got the Rona?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe.
What's up with those sandals? Were those given to you by the hotel?

Speaker 1 No, these are free sandals, though. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. They

Speaker 4 told them from like a gym inside of the game.

Speaker 1 I know free ads, but

Speaker 1 I think they're from.

Speaker 1 Those are big time

Speaker 1 free sandal vibes. Yeah.
Uh, okay. Mount rushmore time.
We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of Girls Not to Fuck With. We already did guys not to fuck with earlier in the summer.

Speaker 1 Now we're going to do girls not to fuck with.

Speaker 1 Hank and Max are going to go first.

Speaker 4 First nominee, all women, because we should respect all of them.

Speaker 1 Yes, we should respect all of them.

Speaker 1 Hank and Max, me and PFT, then Billy and Jake is the order today. Hank?

Speaker 1 Yep. Clear number one, one here.
Max is giving me a look of pure fear that I'm a little confused about. We just haven't talked about this one.

Speaker 1 Clear number one. Max sent me two picks two seconds ago, so I got to go with my gut here.
Clear number one. Girl with the cracked iPhone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good call. Wait a second.

Speaker 1 That's my pick. Yeah, very good.

Speaker 4 That's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I've only said it like three times on the show, but that's fine.

Speaker 4 That's a good pick.

Speaker 1 Good pick, Hank. Good pick.

Speaker 12 Should we have saved it for you?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 4 no, I'm saying it's a good pick.

Speaker 1 I'm not denigrating it just so I can see Hank's fucking shitty ass face.

Speaker 4 I'm not denigrating. It's a good pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no. It's a good pick.
Good pick. I'm aware.

Speaker 4 Good pick. Okay.

Speaker 4 Correct. So, big cat, where do we go with ours here?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Three should we go with four.

Speaker 1 I was going to impress. Are they actually numbered? Yes.
They're all numbered.

Speaker 1 We go with six.

Speaker 1 Six is good, yeah. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 Girl who doesn't have any friends. That's a big time red flag.
That's a big time what's going on here. Can't keep a lot of friends.

Speaker 1 Don't know really what's, you know, doesn't have like a best friend, doesn't have a group of friends.

Speaker 4 Or she has a very big group of girls that she talks about that she used to be friends with that she hates.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about is that the same as a girl that only has guy friends? Yeah, that's why. No, no, that's different.
That's fine. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. But girl who doesn't have any friends is

Speaker 1 there's a, there's something there that's, you don't want to, you don't want to get, you don't want to mess with that.

Speaker 4 She got nothing to lose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 You'll be her whole life. Yeah.
And you will, that will be bad. Yeah.
I mean, you having friends is a problem. Correct.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 1 Yes. You wanting to go to the bar with your friends.
You want to go golf with your friends. If she didn't have friends, now you're in trouble.
Okay. Jake.

Speaker 4 Go for it. Jake's nervous.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do it.

Speaker 1 Jake's rescue.

Speaker 1 It would fucking go if you were just like, girls who are cutting.

Speaker 1 I know exactly where this girl is going. I know exactly.

Speaker 13 A girl on their period.

Speaker 1 Oh, that would not be.

Speaker 1 I think you and I are thinking the same thing. That's biology, Jake.

Speaker 1 This is Jake's first drop in. It's biology.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 13 nothing against it, but like everyone knows.

Speaker 1 I was saying

Speaker 6 that I was saying the only.

Speaker 13 It's nothing like personal. It's just.

Speaker 1 Look. Sounds personal.

Speaker 4 A wise man told me the only thing a period stops is a sentence.

Speaker 13 No, it's nothing like too deep.

Speaker 1 It's just like they admit it too.

Speaker 13 Like, don't screw with me when it's that time of month.

Speaker 1 Some girls like it. Yeah.
Yeah. It's more pleasurable.
Isn't that why we can't? They're legally, we're not allowed to have a woman president. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Billy's laughing.

Speaker 1 Next. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, yeah, they have two. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Lost in the snake.

Speaker 4 Bill, you said this one.

Speaker 1 Billy's cheesing hard.

Speaker 6 These were two of Jake's like first like things.

Speaker 1 I mean yeah it's a good first thing.

Speaker 1 Pregnant women. Okay.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fine. They've got a they're building a human.
Yeah, they are building a human.

Speaker 4 Their body is dedicated to more important things.

Speaker 1 They're building a human.

Speaker 4 Pregnant women really have no time to fuck around with any small issues. Yes, correct.
A lot of perspective.

Speaker 1 They're also make me feel like the biggest pussy alive.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, not necessarily Big Cat because remember, we passed kidney stones, and the doctor in the hospital,

Speaker 4 she gave birth to triplets. That's true.
And she said, that's the biggest pain of her life. So I've pretty much given birth.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 So I want to hear from none of y'all pregnant bitches.

Speaker 4 I'd say that we go with

Speaker 1 maybe I like number 11.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 4 A mother grizzly bear. Yep.

Speaker 1 Oh. Don't want to fucking bear it.
Wait, Billy said he saw one last night. No, no, I'm not going to be able to do it.
No way, Billy.

Speaker 1 He said he saw a bear outside his shower.

Speaker 4 No, no, I was pissing last night and I was looking through the pines. He was hoping so.

Speaker 1 I was seeing something that was moving through the pines.

Speaker 4 I was like, that could be a black bear.

Speaker 1 So that is definitively not seeing a bear. It was actually Kirk Minahan.

Speaker 1 But Jake, didn't I follow it up with it? Could have been anything? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I like to imagine that Billy and Jake have these quaint little breakfasts together and Billy just tells Jake all of his lies

Speaker 4 in the morning, gets him out of the system. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's our next pick. You don't want want to screw with that.
I like that. No, definitely not.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right, do you guys have any original picks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, first one was original. Okay.

Speaker 1 We're going to go with a girl who is a Taylor Swift Super fan. Yeah.
We had Swifties on our list.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about this. Well, there's Guy Swifties too, so let's.
There's Guy Swifties, too. I was thinking about this.

Speaker 1 While I was eating breakfast, and then I was like, I don't want to deal with Kelly. Kelly Keeks.
Like, she will rip my balls off if I say this. So I was like, someone else will pick it.
I'll let them.

Speaker 1 Kelly, when you get to this point in the show and someone tags you with this clip, it was Hank who said it, not me. Yeah, I mean, I like Kelly Keeges.

Speaker 1 Very funny girl, but I feel like at probably multiple times. Woman, yeah, what do you mean, girl? Woman, lady.

Speaker 4 Is she above the age of 18?

Speaker 1 She's a woman, whatever you want to call her.

Speaker 4 Damsel? Wait, is she in distress?

Speaker 4 You never know. Does she need you to save her?

Speaker 1 I feel like at multiple times in Kelly Keeges' life, she's had a cracked iPhone and been a die-hard swimming.

Speaker 1 And and probably the last person in the world you want to fuck with. I mean, if you want to.
And that's coming from a place you love.

Speaker 1 If you want to, you can go for the triple threat and just be like, woman who's obsessed with the monarch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because it actually, like, starting to go through my head. I'm like, that actually, like, a woman who's obsessed with like real-life princesses.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Swifty's going to be like a terrorist group.

Speaker 9 They can.

Speaker 5 dig up things that you didn't even know were possible.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Whoa, what does that mean?

Speaker 4 Just on the internet. Like, if you said something bad about Taylor.
You got some darker background shit?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I'm a friend.
I forgot about Scorpio. I'm a Swift.

Speaker 4 You Swifty?

Speaker 1 I'm not.

Speaker 1 Our next picks, we will go with

Speaker 1 die-hard astrology girls. Oh, good one.
No, but they're easy to fuck with. Good one.
What do you mean?

Speaker 4 Hey, what's your sign?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 I'm a Scorpio, too. Oh, they're easy to fuck with.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Fucked with. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You just talk about astrology and you're like, oh, what's your sign? Then you're like, look up what's compatible. Then you're like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Then you're like. That sounds miserable.
Then you're trapped in an astrology conversation.

Speaker 4 Right, but like then it's they're easy to fuck with.

Speaker 1 But who gets the payoff? I don't know.

Speaker 4 It just depends on what you're looking for from the astrology girl. I don't mind fucking with astrology people.
It's not like I'm not intimidated by an astrologist.

Speaker 4 I'm just like, wow, that person's dumb.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you ever talk to someone and they're like, what's your birthday? And then you tell them your birthday, and they're like, oh. And you just see like it changed their whole attitude about you?

Speaker 1 Because that's happening.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Dude, you just be like, yo, sorry.

Speaker 1 Sorry. I just thought that was a funny thing.

Speaker 1 I don't have any problem.

Speaker 12 I just think that you're very.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they are. No, I actually.
So you wouldn't say that to them. You don't say that to them.
No, I actually love

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 4 When people are that upfront about things that I know I will not like, I appreciate it. Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 And it's also like a great tell of like when someone says they're big into astrology, you know, like, okay, I'm going to lower the bar of expectations on this person's intellect. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, it's just, you're just not going to be firing on all cylinders. Right.
But that's totally cool. Yeah.
Passions are cool. Yeah.
But sometimes I'm mad about this clip.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so because they're too dumb to realize we're talking about it. No, no.
You know what?

Speaker 4 I bet a lot of people out there will think that this clip kind of relates to them, but at the same time,

Speaker 4 make them think that they're special.

Speaker 1 Right. They'll be like, oh, I'm not that into astrology where I'm dumb, but actually, if you're listening to this right now, you are.

Speaker 4 But they only do it because it's kind of interesting to follow and just to think about.

Speaker 4 But they don't actually believe it.

Speaker 1 They want to share it with you.

Speaker 4 If you're like, oh, I didn't call you back, like their parents are like, oh, Mercury was in retrograde. No, that's just real.
Mercury in retrograde is real. That's astrology.

Speaker 4 When it comes to sports, it's real. Sounded kind of dumb.
You're sounding like an astrologer. Yeah, no, when it comes to sports, it's real.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good picks.

Speaker 4 Let's go with that one.

Speaker 1 You want to go with that one or you want to go with seven and then we come back with that one? Okay. Yeah, seven is another good one.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Horse girls. Girls who are super into horses.
Okay. I feel like that's something's something's wrong there.
Something's off.

Speaker 4 It's kind of a double threat. It's kind of little riding.
It's kind of girls who don't have any friends is one of them. And it's also definitely from a super, super rich, well-to-do family.
Right.

Speaker 1 The combination is definitely. It's wrong with money and the ability to ride.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Good. Good point, Hank.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just asking questions. I just feel like

Speaker 1 if you like horses more than humans, I don't know. Something might be a little off.
Or get a dog. I like dogs.

Speaker 1 You guys are very animalist except for dogs.

Speaker 12 No, no, that's fair. I love dogs.

Speaker 1 But also, I love you. Of course, you can love your dog more than anyone, but if you you love a horse more than anyone, you're an evil person.
Well, no, I love you.

Speaker 1 If you love your dog more than anyone, if you love your cat more than anyone, you're an evil person. Well, no, I love your hedgehog more than a person, you're an evil person.
Well, I think humans.

Speaker 1 I do think humans are more important than all animals, but yes. Even dogs, bro?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Depends which humans.

Speaker 1 Okay. But, like, yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. So, like,

Speaker 6 yeah, Parambe should have died.

Speaker 1 No, but, yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 He shouldn't have. We should have figured out a way not to kill him.
But damn. a human child.
Like, we're talking about a human child. He shouldn't have gone in the fucking cove.
I mean, that is true.

Speaker 4 He was asking for it. He fell.

Speaker 1 The provocation was there. Well, Harambe probably waved at him and said, Come on down.
I want to clear too: these are not racing horses. Racing horses are different.
Like the ones at the stables.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about like those show horse, the show estimate things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're there for like to get their long hair brushed and shit. Like horse, or if girls are big into like horsing race,

Speaker 1 I can't speak. Horse racing.
Racing horses. Yeah.
That's different than the jumping over a little shit.

Speaker 1 How come there aren't any female jockeys in the horse race? There have been. There are some.
Yeah. I feel like there are some.

Speaker 4 Ranch girls are also, I think, outside of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Ranch girls.

Speaker 4 I'm talking about a girl that like after school, she drives out to a stable somewhere. pets and combs her horses.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Yeah, even I would go even one further.

Speaker 1 Not even after school because her schools, she's homeschooled, and then she goes outside to her house and pets her horses. That's weird.
Yeah, very weird. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy, I feel really, really good about this one. That one will piss off more people than astrology.
For sure. Because horse girls aren't dumb.

Speaker 4 They're mostly online. Right.

Speaker 1 They cannot afford to pay a phone bill.

Speaker 4 They haven't lost all their money to internet.

Speaker 1 Or astrology girl. Yeah, but astrology people are stupid.
They won't even know we're talking about them. But they will see this clip.

Speaker 1 No, they won't see it. Girls are astrology.
They'll tell themselves that they're not that into astrology because they're stupid. Yeah, because

Speaker 4 if you're really into astrology, you still say, oh, I just like reading it because it's interesting.

Speaker 4 But also, on the flip side, they think that we're stupid because, like, fantasy sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a fair trait. And that's a fair trade.
It's completely fair. Like, the same thing with Taylor Swift.
That is us in football. Like, we are one and the same.

Speaker 1 We're just, we're dumber than women.

Speaker 4 There probably should be, there's probably a female equivalent of part of my take where it's five chicks sitting around just being like, okay, worst guys in the world, the guy that tells you about their fantasy team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're right.

Speaker 1 And they spend an hour talking about us personally. And they're right.
They're completely crazy. Yeah, guy who cares too much about his bets.

Speaker 1 They're literally talking about me, and I'm like, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 13 Our last two picks. The first one, it's in the news right now.

Speaker 5 We feel good about it.

Speaker 13 You do not want to fuck with the United States women's national soccer team.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a good pick. Good pick, good pick.

Speaker 13 They're going for three straight women's World Cups right now.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And you don't want to screw with them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're dominant.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Absolutely dominant.
Yeah. Rose Lavelle, former part of my take guest.

Speaker 13 Yes. Awesome player.
2019.

Speaker 1 They're so good. Also, that goes for just like, as an entity, how good they are at soccer, but also you don't really want to deep get into any takes about it.
No, no. Just talk sports.

Speaker 1 You'll get fucking speaking.

Speaker 4 Let's just talk sports. Yeah.
Also, Alex Morgan, don't fuck with her. She's nuts.
Do you remember she got arrested at the East Cox Center?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that kind of ruled because she was trying to go around the world. Yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 4 But she was, I think she had like a 0.18 BAC. She's gotten a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 She's trying to get hammered all around the world. I think she got arrested in France in that part of the US.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 trying to fight a Frenchman. Good, good.

Speaker 4 Because she was like, fuck the French soccer team. That's the USA, bitch.

Speaker 13 And they were front and center on that bleacher report graphic four years ago.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 12 When they won it. All right.

Speaker 13 This last one, Billy.

Speaker 1 I'm actually.

Speaker 1 I'm going a little bit rogue because we disagree on this. This wasn't on the table.
We have a good draft.

Speaker 1 You agreed with me this earlier. Jake's putting you down on our list.

Speaker 1 We have a good draft right now. Don't screw it up.
Go road.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite part of every Mountain Russian. No, we're on a roll.
You guys have two picks in every size. We're on a roll.
You get two picks, don't you?

Speaker 6 No, no.

Speaker 1 I don't think they need two picks. They've done a good job this draft.
I feel good about it. Go rogue, Billy.
Yeah, one pick. One moment.
You know what I'm saying? I think the first five.

Speaker 1 First four, three,

Speaker 1 two.

Speaker 4 Girls with unnaturally colored hair, dyed hair.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah. That's like hanging up every hair.
Let's hear, let's hear Jake. Let's hear Jake.

Speaker 1 Every woman in the world. Let's hear Jake.

Speaker 1 Charlie, go ahead with yours.

Speaker 1 Like purple hair. Yeah, Jake, go ahead.

Speaker 4 Girls with long fake nails.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Okay. These were both our...
We agreed on... We agreed on the fail.
Okay, we'll do

Speaker 1 long fake nails. You want to combo them?

Speaker 1 You want to go fake hair and long nails? And hoop earrings. Well,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 All the accessories.

Speaker 12 I also think most girls wear hoop earrings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 Big hoop earrings. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 5 I think long, fake nails.

Speaker 1 Okay. Long fake.
Long fake nails.

Speaker 4 I'll scratch you right up.

Speaker 1 Okay, Our last one's easy.

Speaker 4 Can't believe this one lasts.

Speaker 1 We can't talk about it for more than a sentence. No.

Speaker 4 Hillary Clinton.

Speaker 1 Body counts. Next pick.
Should kill you. Next pick.

Speaker 1 I thought we had this. Next pick.

Speaker 1 Next pick. Yeah.
Go to the next pick now.

Speaker 1 Now. That I thought.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. Go to the next pick now.
Amanda Nunes.

Speaker 1 Oh, good one. Good pick.
Good pick. Yeah, that's a good pick.
All right. Wow.
Okay. Good draft, guys.
But, I mean, I thought it had a great fourth rounder, and then you had Hillary.

Speaker 1 The political ones just win.

Speaker 4 No, Trump didn't win.

Speaker 1 It got him second place when they did not deserve it. Yeah, it's coming.

Speaker 4 Are you talking about 2020 or are you talking about in Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 Gang is also political, though. So I see your point.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 12 I feel good about this rum, but you guys are going to win.

Speaker 1 No, we could win.

Speaker 13 The soccer team won because it's going to be happening during the World Cup.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think you guys stunk.

Speaker 1 No, I think we were.

Speaker 4 Well, we also had Erica Nardini on our list.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't fuck with her Cardi B.
Big time, don't fuck with Cardi B.

Speaker 1 I feel like when she went after the dude whose stepfather died in the Titan submersible, it was like, that guy's in, fuck the Blink 182 concert. You don't want to be on Cardi B's wrong side.

Speaker 4 Prime Ronda Rousey. Yeah.
Yeah. Choke you out.

Speaker 1 Man, a news fucker up. So with Hillary.

Speaker 1 A mother with young children in public. Yeah.
Yeah. I was thinking

Speaker 12 world champion cheerleaders because every cheerleader is a world champ.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like the super competitive ones in that area.

Speaker 1 What do you guys think about adult women who still sleep with a stuffed animal? Okay. Yeah.
That one. Kind of crazy.
It's also like most women, but yeah. Is it? I don't think so.

Speaker 4 I think a lot of adult women have a stuffed animal, but they don't necessarily sleep with them.

Speaker 1 What are they called, Jake? Oh, squishmallows? Squishmallows.

Speaker 4 Squishmallows. What are those? When do those become cool?

Speaker 1 They're actually really cool. I mean, my kids have them.
They're like just really soft

Speaker 1 big pillows.

Speaker 4 But they're stuffed animals disguised as pillows to like.

Speaker 1 I don't have stuffed animals. You guys remember Webkins?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Webkins was like this interactive pet that you like take care of online.

Speaker 1 We were

Speaker 1 Tamaguchi. Yeah, Tamaguchi.
Remember when we got Tommy Gachi? Yeah, Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had to keep him alive when you were 18. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we had the Twitter account. Yeah.
That was awesome. Yeah.
We should make you do that again. We should make Billy keep a real baby alive.

Speaker 4 We had girl with princess tattoo.

Speaker 1 Girl or princess necklace. Oh, you know, it was a huge miss.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 The girl who's way too into Disney.

Speaker 1 An adult. An adult who's like way too into Disney.

Speaker 4 Yeah, having like Tinkerbell tattoos, Tinkerbell bumper stickers.

Speaker 1 And being like, I want my wedding to be at Disney.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a big one. I couldn't really think of the haircut to describe it, but like a woman with short.

Speaker 4 We were saying the Karen haircut.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, but you know.
I don't know how to describe that. I feel like...

Speaker 4 I think you're just a woman with short hair. You just described it.

Speaker 1 But some short hair is nice. It's got to be like short hair above your ears.
I think they get... I think they

Speaker 1 to defend women with short hair. I think they just get sick of having long hair their whole life.
Yeah. It does.
TFT,

Speaker 1 I actually can empathize with you because I do bat time with my kids and like washing long hair. My daughter's hair sucks.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it does kind of suck. You have to always have like a scrunchie or a hair tie with you.

Speaker 1 And you have to wash it. It gets hot as it kind of gets so hot.

Speaker 4 You have to time out when you wash it because you can't shampoo it every single day. Yeah.
It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's crazy they don't wash their their hair every time they shower well it makes sense because it takes forever yeah so i think it's more like a necessity of like i'm done with this also dry shampoo didn't know that existed until recently we had uh sorority girls yeah especially during roster disagree

Speaker 1 i think it's sorority girls that i don't think it's sorority girls in college i think it's sorority girls who continue to refer to their sisters like 20 years later yeah sorority girls they're harmless they're nice yeah good people for the most part but there's always one or two that take the sorority more seriously than everybody else takes the sorority.

Speaker 1 It's the same as guys way too into his frat. Yep.

Speaker 4 When they start flashing gang signs.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Yeah.
We also had Serena Williams at a Grand Slam.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 4 We had a pregnant woman on a plane with two kids and a bunch of popcorn that gets spilled everywhere.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Don't fuck with her. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. This one will be spicy when we put out the graphic, but you just got to remind people we did guys not to fuck with, too.
What about girl with cauliflower ear?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

Speaker 4 In the spirit of fairness, that should have been 1-1. Hank, that's a bad 1-1.
You shouldn't have stolen mine. You should have stolen Big Cat.

Speaker 1 A lady with a gun. Yeah.
Yep. Yep.
That's pretty good. Your mom.
Yeah. Don't mess with mama.
Don't mess with mom.

Speaker 4 Don't mess with mama.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Grandma. Okay.

Speaker 4 Grandma. She's sweet.
Don't mess with Big Mama.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't go to Big Mama's house.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We should redact our last pick, PFT, for our safety.

Speaker 4 How about this one? Our last pick is Hillary Clinton. Big Cat and PFT do not have any suicide.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up the show. We have, by the way, we have an incredible interview with LaShawn McCoy coming Friday.
We interviewed him last night, and it was awesome. He's a recurring guest for sure.

Speaker 4 He's got takes. The man has takes.
So many takes.

Speaker 5 He's so good for television. He's going to have a long career in media.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that you guys like it.

Speaker 4 I like it when you say that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Yeah, I mean, like, it was great. You guys gotta listen.

Speaker 1 All right, so Hank has left to take a shit. False.
Oh, sorry, I couldn't see you back there.

Speaker 4 He's back.

Speaker 4 That was quick. Jake, like that.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you just turn my mic off?

Speaker 1 Hank is drunk with power. Motherfucker.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank. Guys on chicks.
See if you can read. My boyfriend Max and I had the biggest debate ever.
Oh, fuck. Oh, no.
No!

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. They wrote over.
They rode over.

Speaker 1 My biggest, my boyfriend Max and I had the biggest debate over what is the most iconic reality TV show. He swears by Jersey Shore and I said Vanderpump rules.

Speaker 1 I'm dying to know what your guys' opinion on this is and what reality show you think is best and why. Iconic?

Speaker 1 The challenge. It's got to be real world.
No, yeah, real world.

Speaker 1 Real world started it all, changed it all.

Speaker 1 Puck, all-time. He was the number one villain.
Bad boy. I mean, so, I mean, mean, he literally made fun of a guy who had AIDS.
Yeah. I would say he was as bad as you could get.

Speaker 4 It's tough to get past the real world. If you're going to go iconic, I mean, DNFL.
It started every reality show of them all.

Speaker 1 But I think, well, so I think the most, like,

Speaker 1 iconic, though, might mean Jersey Shore because it really did. Like,

Speaker 1 the problem is,

Speaker 1 who has Jersey Shore here? The boyfriend?

Speaker 1 He's right if the debate is Jersey Shore or Vanderpump Rules. Vanderpump Rules is obviously insanely popular.
Jersey Shore was like guys and girls, like Jersey Shore parties.

Speaker 1 There is no Vanderpump without Jersey Shore. Well,

Speaker 1 there's no Jersey Shore without Real World. But my point is, Jersey Shore, like, completely captivated the entire country for summers.

Speaker 1 Vanderpump is very, very talked about, but I don't think there's like Vanderpump parties going on, are there? I think this past season, with the, with the scan of human beings.

Speaker 1 People dressing up like him. People were fist bumping.
They were doing something. Yeah, not like Jersey Shore, but this past season had a lot of heat.

Speaker 5 Bachelor, too. Not as big anymore, I feel like.

Speaker 1 And also, Survivor gets to be thrown in there.

Speaker 4 Oh, Survivor.

Speaker 1 Survivor, Sugars, absolutely.

Speaker 4 44 seasons. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend's friend comes over from over two hours away once every like three to four months. The morning after they go out, they always crawl into bed together.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 They don't sleep in the same bed, but they'll lay side by side and reminisce. Is this normal?

Speaker 4 In the same bed.

Speaker 1 In the same bed.

Speaker 1 Normal? No.

Speaker 1 But I'm okay with it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's not normal. Let's not get it twisted.
It's not something that most guys do.

Speaker 1 I think most girls do this.

Speaker 4 Girls do it all the time. Girls fall asleep together.
Yeah. At the end of the night, yeah, they'll be like, okay, let's go talk about the boys we dance with.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think it's not normal, but I also don't think it's sus, if that makes sense.

Speaker 4 What are they talking about?

Speaker 1 They're talking about sports.

Speaker 4 If they're talking about sports,

Speaker 1 they're cool. They're also probably talking about how drunk they were.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, we got a couple fake ones. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Wait, what's your take on that one, Hank? What?

Speaker 1 I don't think it's that weird. Yeah.
I think

Speaker 1 it's not like normal, again.

Speaker 1 If you're still drunk and it's like your boys that you haven't seen in a while,

Speaker 1 and it's the day after, and yeah, that's the good stuff. You have to do a post-game.
That is the good stuff.

Speaker 4 You know, like the post-game is important, whether it's done in a living room, everyone's still drunk, you're all drinking waters on the couch, remembering what happened last night, replaying things, what would you do different?

Speaker 4 That's a conversation that happens amongst guys all over the country. This one just happens to happen in your bedroom.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, this one is the most obviously written by a dude of all time. Okay.
My boyfriend likes to perform cunnelingus on me.

Speaker 1 He's pretty good at it, but he insists on blowing a raspberry on my clitoris every time. He calls it finishing move.

Speaker 1 I've usually always come to fruition before he does it, but the raspberry always makes me laugh and sucks the euphoria out of my body.

Speaker 1 He keeps doing it because I clearly like it, because I laugh every time. Is this gaslighting? Is this a deal breaker? Should I blow raspberries on his balls? Help.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's definitely written by a guy. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 The answer is yes, you should blow raspberries on his balls.

Speaker 1 Raspberries are funny, though.

Speaker 4 They're funny. Yeah.
Makes a funny sound. You got to lighten the mood sometimes in the bedroom.
Yeah. Can't all be serious also

Speaker 1 he's sucking your looking your pussy so let's not be you know beggars don't be choosers here yeah you know you're you could easily as a guy just not do that you're you're looking a gift horse right in the mouth

Speaker 1 all right we'll end with this one

Speaker 1 Sup, fellas. Yesterday, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot that he won two Friday tickets to the Masters next year.

Speaker 1 He was all excited and then proceeded to tell me that he was not inviting me and was inviting his dad instead.

Speaker 1 Am I in the wrong for being upset for not getting the invite? Yeah, yes.

Speaker 4 The masters is the most dad weekend of all time. Yes.

Speaker 1 I did see, because I think that happened today. Everyone found out.

Speaker 1 I saw some screenshots. I saw a very funny one where some girl was like, my dad got master's tickets.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Claire. My dad got master's tickets.
And now me and my siblings are all like, who's he going to take? And then she updated.

Speaker 1 It was like, update, my dad applied for a single because he thought that the masters would take charity on him because he would want to go by themselves.

Speaker 1 And also, he didn't want to have to pick one of us, so he's just going by himself. Claire Rogers.
Yeah. Very funny.
Total dude's rock move.

Speaker 4 Also, the Masters, until very recently, didn't allow women to be members there. So it's kind of, it's a boys' weekend.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come on. And it's a dad.
If it was like, if he picked like a guy from work, you have a right to be mad. But your dad, come on.
You have to.

Speaker 1 Okay, good show. That was a great show.
Great show. Got a little of everything.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Great show, show, Hank.

Speaker 1 You too.

Speaker 1 I literally brought it up because I didn't want it to be concerned.

Speaker 1 He didn't give you a warning. So you can't.
Oh, he would have found a way to make it. In a court of law, you can't be upset what he said after the warning.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Numbers?

Speaker 1 3.69.

Speaker 4 99.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Here we go.
PFT's watching.

Speaker 1 16. Ooh.

Speaker 1 16.

Speaker 1 LaShawn McCoy on Friday, and then it it is grit week. So, everyone get ready.

Speaker 4 Grit week's coming. Love you guys.

Speaker 4 on me.

Speaker 4 Seven years to sing.

Speaker 4 I won't say it. See, but I'm feeling so little everywhere.

Speaker 4 So I learned my vision.

Speaker 4 Say after me.

Speaker 4 I like the way it's going to say to something.

Speaker 4 Say after me.

Speaker 4 I like the way it's going to say the children. Drink on

Speaker 4 gun.

Speaker 4 Drink on me.

Speaker 4 me,

Speaker 4 drink on me.

Speaker 4 Just wait a while anyway.

Speaker 4 You're all fit up to run.

Speaker 4 You're shy and away.

Speaker 4 Love is coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 Be shy and away.

Speaker 4 Love is coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 take on me, take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 up,

Speaker 4 I'll make

Speaker 4 you

Speaker 4 all

Speaker 4 the

Speaker 4 soul.