Open Champion Brian Harman, Mt Rushmore Of Girls Not To Mess With, NFL Head Coach Draft, And Hank Goes After PFT

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Okay, let's go.

Boys!

Boys!

Now in the street there is violence, and there's lots of work to be done No place to hang a low washing And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's part of my take. It's in my martial sports.
Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, July 26th.
And boys, it's time for our NFL head coaches draft. I've been looking forward to this for the last six months.
We have some other things we're going to discuss. I think a lot of it will probably be discussed in Hot Seat Cool Throne.
But to refresh everyone's memory, in January we were having a discussion and we decided, Jake, set a calendar reminder that on July 26th we are going to do the NFL head coaches draft for current NFL head coaches, which head coach you'd want coaching your favorite team. And we thought July 26th would never get here, but July 26th has arrived.
And so anyone, I hope there's one AWL out there who noted that in January. It was like, these motherfuckers better come through.
Jake is that motherfucker. Yeah, he is that motherfucker.
Jake he is that Jake you are that motherfucker so we're here I'm ready I'm very much excited about it uh it is it is the true sign that football is back we missed another sign by the way that calls back which is uh getting an invite to your fantasy league yes so getting asked to rejoin a fantasy league that you were in last year yes that season is now upon us yeah that was a great email that i got the auto invite my body is ready yeah no you know what i actually don't think that my body is ready yet no because that's eight hours on the couch at times um i moving to a new place you don't know the channels yet things are all weird got new cable services it's true got new tvs new remotes we're not ready yet so we we need to spend the next month just game planning, getting ourselves ready. This is a good first step for us.
Yes, yes. It is the perfect what do you do in the middle of July while you rank head coaches.
So let's do it. Let's get into it.
How are we going to decide who has first pick? So there's four of us, so we'll all pick eight head coaches yeah um lot of ball lot of ball okay random number generator uh closest to the pin yeah okay 17 eight i mean it's one to 100 right guys yeah i'm just going with eight okay uh i'll go with 51 go 52 you motherfucker. Price is right.
All right, here it is.

84.

So, Jake, you get to pick what you want to you want to go first sure okay i'll go wait you get to pick the where you go yeah i think we just picked the the cycle right we're either going clockwise or counterclockwise okay we'll usually go clockwise mount rushmore right yeah oh i guess we do yeah okay i'll go second. Oh, okay.
We're either going clockwise or counterclockwise. Okay.
We'll usually go clockwise.

Mount Rushmore, right? Yeah. Oh, I guess we do.

Yeah. Okay.
I'll go second then. Okay.
So I'm going third, then Hank's fourth, who's not

ready for this draft. Actually, that's good.
If I'm

next to Hank, he's going to make mistakes.

Also, Hank's got butt issues right now.

He's got major ass issues. No.

Come on. Put the camera

on your ass, Hank. You can't put the

camera. My ass is in the jackpot.
We're good.

Okay. It's PFT's fault.

He ordered. It was good food, but

Thank you. Come on.
Put the camera on your ass, Hank. You can't put the camera.
My ass is in the jackpot. We're good.
Okay. It's PFT's fault.
He ordered. It was good food, but not good for my stuff.
Well, no. We're fine.
This is not podcast conversation. It is.
It's your fault because you can't eat anything with even like one little pepper on it. I assume you were a grown up.
Sorry, I ordered Thai food and they didn't have the the dino chicken bite tank. I'm fine.

I'm ready to go.

Do you have these big mac and cheese?

Can I get a grilled cheese?

Can I get Bill Belichick, please?

By the way, I did.

Then I don't care.

All right.

You know what?

No.

No.

No.

No.

Let's see how the drop goes.

All right.

First pick.

And obviously, discussion is welcome.

It is a podcast so you know

maybe the first round will be

kind of intuitive but once we get

deeper you can stand on the

soapbox for your guy

Bill Belichick

I don't like that pick

I like it because Hank didn't get it

I was taking it no matter what Hank

said

who are you a fan of Jake

how are you a fan of your team and you're not picking your head coach

I'm a neutral journalist

Let's do this. I was taking it no matter what Hank said.
Okay. All right.
Okay. All right.
Who are you a fan of, Jake? How are you a fan of your team and you're not picking your head coach? I'm a neutral journalist. Well, Hank, I'm going to just – I think he's the best of the 32.
A little spoiler. I know it's not my pick.
I will not be choosing Matt Eberflus with the first pick, just so you know. Yeah, but you're not going to be an inter-division rival.
Intra. And Mike McDaniel is a good coach.
Nice, Jake. Good job, Jake.
Oh, got him. Got his ass.
Hank is in a world of hurt right now. He's dealing with some serious internal issues.
He's going to be like the year. I hope I have to fart.
I'm coming right over there. He's going to be like the year the Vikings missed their pick.
He's just going to be on the toilet. Okay, PFT.
All right. I think this is.
PFT's notes I'm looking over. Not to cheat, but he's just looking at the Wikipedia page.
Wikipedia page. Yeah, Wikipedia page.
This draft would be utter chaos if we didn't have a list of head coaches. We just had to remember, like, the baseball draft.
Yeah, yeah. All right, so I'm going to Andy Reid.
Okay. Love Andy Reid.
I thought he should have been 1-1. I did too.
That's why I'm so happy that I got him. He's just had Patrick Mahomes.
Okay. Yep.
Yep. So, Jake, he also got to – Bill Belichick said Tom Brady.
He also got to a Super Bowl when he was in Philly, right?

Yeah.

He made it to four consecutive – lost four consecutive NFC Championship games.

It's not easy.

He's been a great head coach for the last, what, 25 years?

I think he's 1-1-B just based off the numbers that Bill Belichick.

1-1-B.

Yeah.

But this is what you want for the next season too.

Wait. Oh, yeah.
We need to define this. Are we drafting based on – for the next season, too.
Wait.

Oh, yeah.

We need to define this.

Are we drafting based on?

No, it's right now.

No, it's right now.

Who you want?

I said that in the intro.

I'm drafting on vibes.

Okay.

All right.

That means that translation Hank did no research.

He doesn't even have a list.

No, I do.

You'll see.

He could also mean that literally, and it means that his butthole is just gyrating with pain.

Yeah.

Okay. That was pregame.
I'm ready to go. I'm on the field.
I'm here. I will go with my first pick.
I'll go with Sean McVay. Sean McVay.
He doesn't even want to coach. Has a Super Bowl.
He basically quit. Been to two Super Bowls.
He quit. Okay.
I mean, we're not denigrating picks, but okay. He basically has a Super Bowl.
I didn't hear you say that. No, no.
I was joking. You can denigrate as much as you want.
Can I push back on that real quick? Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
So he is about to have, I think, his first child. Yeah.
His wife is with baby right now in utero. And he timed it out so the baby will be born during football season.
That's bad clock management. still gonna be there that's bad clock management I would still you gotta time that shit out where you have it in that one week after the Super Bowl and before the combine really if if you so if you told every team in the NFL you can get Sean McVay as your head coach next year there's like I think there's only two teams that wouldn't take him like he's he is that I feel like they're gonna be slept on this year just because of how bad they were last well they're going through rebuilding I mean the craziest thing that that we do in the media is we joke about how the the Rams were going all in and trading all their future picks and then they're like we're like why do the Rams suck now well because they gave us they gave us no opportunity for a window of discussion yeah that's the thing we never got to discuss whether or not the Rams would become a dynasty.
So we took that as a personal shot at our profession. He stole content from us.
Took two different quarterbacks to the Super Bowl. So if you want to have the, hey, it's only the quarterback situation that you were trying to do with Patrick Mahomes, Danny Reed, Jake.
I realized how stupid that was. Two great, great quarterbacks.
Yeah, incredible quarterbacks, but he did. He took two different quarterbacks to the Super Bowl.
Hank, you have a wraparound, snake draft. Yep, I'm going with an ESPN classic show.
I'm going Mike and Mike here. Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel.
Oh, I thought you were going to say Mike McCarthy, and I was like, you might actually have acid poisoning. No, I was thinking about going with just the – no, actually, I'm not going to go into my picks.
Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel. You're not going to go into your picks on a podcast? Well, I'm not going to go into my strategy because you guys will steal them.
I think you just took two guys named Mike. I think that's what you're strategy.
Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel. I mean, Mike Tomlin.
All right, Mike Tomlin, good pick. Mike Vrabel, also good pick.
Thank you. Because he's our friend.
And he's a great coach. All right, I'll just stick – you know what? I'm happy because my next pick, I was scared that it was going to get taken, but I will take Kyle Shanahan.
The start of this entire conversation was Kyle Shanahan's offense. I have the young guns.
Yeah, it's a great pick. Yeah.
Great pick. I'm shocked that Hank didn't take Kyle, but he hates the 49ers.
We know that. Imagine if a team ever had both these guys.
Oh, my God.

If there was somehow a head coach whose name was Mike Shanahan,

then maybe Hank would have picked him.

Yeah.

All right.

My pick.

This is how fucked up this show, and I went in with a plan,

and now I'm thinking I can't let Hank take all the mics,

and I don't want Mike McCarthy, but I can't let him take all the mics. You can't let one guy have all the mics It's bullshit Like how good would that draft board look This is easy for me John Harbaugh I'll take John Harbaugh John Harbaugh could step into any situation in the league Except for maybe three and improve it He's got a track record Now some would say well he won a Super bowl with an elite quarterback joe flacco who's system coach i would say that john harbaugh has he's reinvented himself a couple times yep and now he's he goes he's really good at at going with what his best players do best yeah so i'm gonna go with john harbaugh i uh i had uh tiered the coaches and he was a tier one coach he's a tier one coach for sure he's a tier one coach, so it's a good pick.
And I think the only NFL coach that has kicked Jim Harbaugh's ass. Did he kick his ass? I think so.
I think he took him out in the ocean. No, I think Jim tried to drown John.
I think John tried. They probably tried to drown each other at some point.
I think Jim is the one who tries to drown. He's the only coach that's fought Jim Harbaugh.
Also, we stand with Jim Harbaugh on the four-game suspension. It's bullshit.
Yeah. And I'm not even going to look into what actually happened.
As far as I know, he got caught for lying about lying. About a cheeseburger.
That sounds like double jeopardy to me. Yeah.
About a cheeseburger. Yeah.
Sounds like a QAnon conspiracy. This guy bought a cheeseburger.
Okay. Jake.
Two picks. To end the second round, I am taking Sean Payton.
Okay. Denver Broncos.
Interesting. I think they were the laughingstock of the league last year, and now I think bringing him in, no one's really going to talk about how bad they are.
Instead, they're going to talk about him with Russell Wilson. They can be a contender in the AFC.
I like Russell Wilson MVP or comeback player of the year. MVP? Yeah.
I said that I think last summer and that's a true summer dumb thought. As someone who's been there.
I'm seeing reports. Where are your reports? He's playing well.
He's throwing the deep ball. He's working on some stuff.
Is this a training camp report? Do, do you remember the training camp report about Russell Wilson last year where it was like he completed 21 of 22 passes? Yeah. Hank just did the Bo Nix meme.
Yeah. He's a dark horse for the MVP.
Yep. Yeah.
For the Heisman. I think they're going to get slept on because of how bad they were last year and bringing him in changed things.
Yeah, he does bring consistency. He is a steady Eddie head coach.
Yeah. Okay.
So I'm going to continue the trend. How many quarterbacks has he taken in the Super Bowl? One.
Oh, okay. All right.
So your entire... I feel good.
Yeah, no, no. But yeah.
Okay, you made a mistake with that comment to start. I know.
Yeah. But it's still Bill Belichick.
I can't regret that. Yeah, no, I understand.
Taking Andy Reid 1-1 would be getting cute with it. I don't know.
If you got Bill Belichick at second pick. Bill Belichick's the greatest coach of all time.
We're talking about next season. I don't know.
Andy Reid feels like he's at the top of his game. The thing about this, if Andy Reid coaches the Patriots, what's the I don't know Hank not as good as Patriots gonna go that's not the question so would you like Andy Reid to coach the Patriots ever okay here's my here's my Bill Belichick take because I do I do he'll be dead by the time Belichick retire I do obviously think he greatest coach of all time.
But last year. They played well.
But the Matt Patricia thing. Besides the lateral game.
Which wasn't his fault. And the Joe Judge thing made me think, like, is he senile? He seems to have corrected it, so it probably will wash away.
But, Hank, you had those thoughts. No.
Okay. Well, you should.
Yeah. Okay.
Keeping up with the trend of rings only, I'm going to go with Doug Peterson. Okay.
I think he did a tremendous job in year one with the Jaguars, and I think they're going to be a very sexy pick to maybe make some noise in the AFC. Sexy pick.
All right, Jake. Calm down.
Sexy pick. They're in the AFC South.
How sexy? Put it back in your dockers, Jake. I think people are going to love them to win the division and maybe win a game in the playoffs.

How sexy on the on the Jake Marsh scale.

Let's say Kevin Harlan to Bob Costas in his prime.

Sexy.

Yeah.

How sexy. I think outside of the big three, the Bills, Chiefs and Bengals, I think.

OK, they're going to be knocking out that door. OK.
Yeah okay yeah in the afc do you guys agree uh i don't know they could it's not crazy i want this is prove it to me this year yeah prove that last year wasn't a fluke yeah right but if also you got to give urban meyer some credit for establishing the culture in jacksonville but if they go 12 and 5 win, win another game in the playoffs. Without Urban Meyer, Jacksonville does not draft Trevor Lawrence.

Fact or fiction?

True.

Fact.

Okay.

PFT.

So, wait.

Who are your two picks, sir?

Sean Payton and Doug Peterson.

Good picks.

Good picks.

All right.

I'm going to go my next pick.

This is tricky.

I've got three names that I'm choosing from right now.

I'm going to go with... The secondni.
Nick Sirianni. And again, this is from this point forward.
Who do you want? I think he does what his players do best, and he's a very flexible coach. He's corny, but whatever, it works.
Yeah, yeah. No, that's a good pick.
I'm surprised that he's lasted this long, especially if Jake's doing rings only. I know.
I was between the two of them. I mean, Pete Carroll, especially what he did last year.
Yeah. They were supposed to be the worst team in the league, right? He's forever young.
So Pete Carroll, yeah, I'd feel pretty good with him at the helm. It's that gum.
That gum keeps your face. The muscles tight.
Yeah. But he did have like a rejuvenation year where it was like, oh, is Pete Carroll?

You know, is it all falling apart?

And then boom, they were way better than expected. I think they're over under before the season was like five and a half.

I think they're in projections to be the first overall pick.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hank.

All right.

I'm going to go with a classic ESPN show.

Mike McDaniel and Mike McCarthy. I I can't I can't hate on that strategy Mike McCarthy great coach strategy if we basically should have won the Super Bowl last year was knocking right in the doorstep Mike McDaniel is probably the best up-and-coming coach in the league like if you're if you're you know in a in a futures uh franchise this is a franchise draft Mike McDaniel is probably the best up-and-coming coach in the league.
If you're in a futures franchise, this is a franchise draft. Mike McDaniel is probably going first.
Well, that's kind of what we're doing right now. Over Kyle Shanahan? No, this is just for this season.
Over Kyle Shanahan? This is for the next 30 years. Over Kyle Shanahan? Didn't Kyle Shanahan almost retire too? I thought he went to like, no, Kyle Shanahan taught Mike McDaniel,

everything he knows.

Right.

And then he basically retired and said,

he's going to whatever Tahiti.

You're thinking of Cliff Kingsbury.

Oh yeah,

I am.

Fuck.

I should have said that.

Cause Hank would have picked.

Okay.

This is where it gets tough.

Yeah.

I think a lot of like the coaches are in the same grouping where they're where they're good coaches, but it's like – Can they break through? Can they break through? And you know what? I'll do it. I'll take Dan Campbell.
Okay. I'll take Dan Campbell.
Listen, I think that coaching the Lions is – everything's on a curve. So if you get the Lions on the precipice of the playoffs, that's essentially like the NFC Championship game.

Well, they won their last game of the regular season,

and they kept the Green Bay Packers out of the playoffs.

That is a playoff game.

We'll see.

This will be a big year for him,

but it seems like he is a classic case of if the players can buy in,

it works, and if they don't, it can fall apart in hilarious fashion.

It seems like everyone's bought it. Okay,ft sean mcdermott yeah good pick surprised that he lasted this long pick also maybe the coach that could kick almost every other coach's ass yeah that's the only problem with sean mcdermott is that that playoff game was tough it was it was tough it was tough he's had a couple tough playoff losses it was tough it was tough it's just squib kick still very good coach yeah okay uh to mark the halfway point of this draft i'm taking zach taylor bengals yeah slept on super bowl appearance now would some say that's just joe burrow no they have oh okay all right i'm just asking questions yeah their defense.
Yeah. Yeah.
He coaches the defense? Joe Burrow. He's in charge of the whole team, which means he has a say in the defense.
Okay. You could have done Coach Lou as your next – who you'd want to be head coach.
Yeah, we should have done coordinators too. Next week we'll do coordinators.
Okay. This next pick, I don't know if this is a reach or not but kevin stafanski has taken the brown he took the browns to the playoffs in his first year well he didn't coach that game remember he had oh yeah he had cove in the basement yeah the fact that he he got them there they won a game right yeah it's dealers yeah they beat the sealers that's a huge deal to not be the last like, 8-9, 7-10, your first three years as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns is really impressive.
Agreed. Agreed.
We're Kevin Stefanski, guys. Yeah.
Okay, good pick. Good pick.
Good pick. Alright, this one might be a little controversial.
We got one year of evidence to go off of, but it's Brian Dable. I would take Dable.
Yeah. I thought what he did with the Giants last year was he got the most out of that team.

Yeah.

We'll put it that way.

All right.

Yeah, I had him in my tier two, and I have one last remaining guy in my tier two.

It hurts me, but I do objectively think he is a good head coach, and it's Matt LaFleur.

I do think he's a good head coach.

Where are these tiers?

I made tiers.

Oh, you made tiers for yourself.

Yeah, for myself.

I just basically brain-dumped tiers.

You could have also done a list.

No, it's a list. Is it numbered? Yeah.
1 through 32? Well, I don't want to show you the rest, for myself. I just basically brain-dumped tiers.
You could have also done a list. No, it's a list.

Is it numbered?

One through 32?

Well, I don't want to show you the rest, but yeah.

I'm erasing it as it goes.

Why did you divide them into different tiers?

Because I already numbered one through 32.

Because I have a draft strategy, so it's like if there's a tier two guy

and there's a bunch of tier three guys, I have to take the tier two guy value.

You've been hanging out with Steven Che too long.

I'm just saying.

Matt LaFleur.

He was my tier two.

This is a little bit of Che brain.

Did he help you with this draft?

This is a very easy strategy of like, hey, have a process.

Because if I didn't have this process, I would have taken Mike McCarthy

in the third round just to block Hank from the mics.

I've got a process too.

I Googled.

That was a huge mistake.

List of current National Football League head coaches,

and then I sorted them by wins on Wikipedia. Listen, I Googled that as well, and then I just tiered them.
All right. Okay.
I had a couple strategies. The first one was get all the mics accomplished, and then the second strategy is just pick the sexiest, most attractive, best-featured men.
So I'm going to go with Arthur Smith. Yeah.
And then in my next pick, I'm just going to go with the hometown guy, basically won us the Super Bowl, Nick Sirianni. Okay.
Well, Nick Sirianni has already been taken. Oh.
Good pick. That actually was great value.
Yeah, it would have been awesome value. Nice.
But, Hank, the fact that they didn't change their cleats at halftime,

how good of a coach can he be?

True.

Well, now I'm scared to make my other pick.

My other pick?

Brandon Staley?

Sure.

He's there.

Great coach.

Math guy.

He's there.

Okay.

Who took Sirianni?

BFT, round three, pick two.

Oh, man. I don't't know now it's getting tough i guess i'll take frank reich i don't know i think he sucks but yeah i think he sucks too you know i was listening back to the episode january 27th and there was the episode that he was hired and i don't think you were a fan no i the problem is.
The problem is I can't take all NFC North and not take Matt Eberflues. So I got really stuck in a spot.
If you want to know what my tiers are, it was tier three left is Frank Reich, Kevin O'Connell, Robert Salah. Okay.
So I was kind of stuck in a hard spot there. So Frank Reich's my pick.
All right. And I don't like it.
Yeah, I don't like that pick either. No, I don't like it.
So Robert Salah hasn't been taken yet. No, he's not.
Would you like Robert Salah? I'm going to go with Robert Salah. He's a tier three coach according to Big Cats Metrics.
Yeah. So this is a great value pick right here.
Have to go with him. Maybe the smoothest head coach.
I got a lot of smooth boys on my team. I got him and I got Sean McDermott.
No hair. Not a hair to rub between them.
Good pick. Good pick.
Thanks. PFT, left hand up.
Oh. Ron Rivera.
I appreciate the support, Jake. Now we're dipping in the tier fours.
However. Yeah.
I would say tier four. With the Panthers, they were in the mix every year.
Obviously.

Had Cam Newton.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And in D.C. he had Taylor Heineke.

And he bragged about winning division.

Well, no, that's not exactly what happened.

What was it?

Seven and nine?

Well, he found out from a reporter also last year that they were bounced from the playoffs

after a loss.

No, no, no.

And he didn't know that.

In week 17.

No, I'm talking about the Panthers. Oh, yeah.
In his press conference after he got fired from the Pan after a loss. No, no, no.
And he didn't know that. In week 17, he was like, oh, I didn't know that.
No, I'm talking about the Panthers.

Oh, yeah.

In his press conference after he got fired from the Panthers,

which is bizarre that he had a press conference.

Yeah.

He was like, we won the division three years in a row,

and the last year was 7-9.

Yeah, Rivera's head coaching record,

if you take out the one season where Cam Newton was out of this world

and went 15-1, I think he's had one other winning season, maybe two,

but he's like a 500 career head coach.

He has dealt with a lot of shit in D.C., though.

Today he gave a press conference and he was like,

yeah, big difference this year.

In the past, I felt like I was just kind of managing the team.

Now with new ownership, it's great.

So I guess that's his new excuse for it.

But, yeah, Rivera probably won't be back next year.

I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that.

Okay.

You have one more pick? Yeah. This is getting't be back next year.
I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that. Okay, you have one more pick?

Yeah, this is getting very, very thin now.

I can't tell if this is good or bad podcasting.

People love the draft.

They love lists.

You guys are going to love this shit.

You guys are going to eat this shit up.

That was such a quick, terrible.

Todd Bowles.

Okay.

Super Bowl champion.

Top 10 coach.

As we said at one point, I'm part of my team.

Super Bowl champion.

No, he wasn't.

He was in it as a coordinator.

Okay.

Yeah.

Super Bowl champion.

Super Bowl champion.

Yeah.

Sure.

Basically, I feel like we're playing a game of hot potato here just to see who can avoid drafting Josh McDaniels. Yes.
That's kind of what we're doing. Hank will do it.
Okay. For my next pick.
I mean, these last eight are going to be. It's tough.
It's real tough. Kevin O'Connell.
Okay. Okay.
Taking Kevin O'Connell. I think that this year the Vikings are going to be very good.
I think that. You're Kirk Cousins' guy.
Who did you take with your last pick? Salah. Oh, yeah, that's right.
So Kevin O'Connell is another Tier 3. Look at me, stacking up value on the big cap proprietary draft chart.
I have one last Tier 3. It's Matt Eberflus, so I'm taking him.
Okay. So there's my Tier 3.
And you definitely didn't put him into Tier 3 because he's the coach of the Bears. No, but he was bottom of Tier 3, so I'm unbi yeah of course you rank your tiers how many tiers are inside of each tier well no it's just a ranking inside the tier you said bottom though so yeah he's the bottom bottom tier of tier three of tier three yeah it's ranked in order okay all right yeah he's the bottom of your straight it's a pretty straightforward system all right i'm gonna go with uh the with the coach that spearheaded some of the greatest offenses in NFL history.
And Tebow Mania. Okay.
Josh McDaniels. Okay.
Yeah. Well, yeah, he did spearhead Tebow Mania.
Yeah. Credit to him.
Yeah. Good call.
Okay. That's a pick.
Is this my last pick, Jake? Yes. Thank God.
Last round. Four left.
All right, well, I've got to do it then. Thank then.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. You're making a mockery out of this head coach draft.
We take this very seriously Hank. I wanted Belichick and then after that it's like whatever.
You just took your ball and went home and took all the Mikes with you. Just punted on the entire head coach.
Hey Mikes, get in the car, we're out of here. Head coach draft rigged.
Okay. All right.
My last pick, I'm going to take D'Amico Ryan. I think he's going to be very good.
Yeah. I'm a big D'Amico Ryan guy.
Everyone around Houston seems to like him. Yeah.
And he was, I mean, the 49ers defense was elite. So D'Amico Ryan's my last pick.
All right. I'm going to take Shane Steichen of the Colts.
We're Colts guys now.

Nice.

Can't wait to see this guy up close in person.

So Mr. Irrelevant.

Mr. Irrelevant.

Is Dennis Allen?

Yeah.

Dennis Allen.

Hank took Jonathan Gannon.

Yeah.

Pew, pew.

Yeah.

So Dennis Allen is Mr. Irrelevant.

All right.

Anyone want to do trades?

Yeah.

I'll give you all the mics for Bill Belichick, Jake.

So I would have 11 guys? Yeah. Yeah.
I'll give you all the mics for Bill Belichick, Jake.

So I would have 11 guys?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Let's go.

See?

Who do you have from your tier two list?

Fuck.

I was deleting my tiers as I went.

Because I was trying to.

Because I was going to package.

I was going to package a couple tier three guys to move up to tier two.

I had. I don't even know who I have on my team.

I'll never remember.

No, we don't need to go through this.

I have 11 guys and Hank has...

Bill Belichick, the greatest of all time.

Five.

And McDaniels.

I have Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels back again

and Vrabel back again.

No, you don't.

I have Vrabel.

You have Arthur Smith, Brandon Staley, McDaniels, Gannon, and Belichick. Damn.
Love it. I love my guys.
Damn. Good team, mate.
My team is on the floor. Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike.
I would trade you Matt LaFleur for someone. Yeah, okay.
Would you trade me Matt LaFleur? I'll trade you Matt LaFleur for Brian Dable. straight up no deal okay no deal toss in your last pick who's your last pick uh matt eberflus no don't pawn matt eberflus on off on me no dude he was a tier three i'll take i'll take d'amico ryan's and matt lafleur for.
No. No deal.
No deal. I had a chance to draft Robert Salah, and I said no.
Okay. I had him in tier two.
On my chart, he's valuable. Okay.
Well, that was great podcasting, everyone. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Yes. Is there a possibility, Big Cat, that Saquon Barkley is having a pretty solid season? And Mr.
Mara subtly indicates maybe let's not get him over these certain thresholds. Interesting.
Maybe it would be good for Brian Dable's career if he were to not give that extra $900,000.

Which would be hilarious if it was over $900,000.

It would be.

It's like I think there was a report because the Packers have to share the financials because they're publicly owned.

I think every team got cut a check for like $300 million this year.

And he's like, yeah, $900,000.

I can't pay my best offensive player. So, um yeah is take one barkley a scab yeah it seems like he went back he he went to the zoom call and he said this sucks this sucks and then they were like how about uh less than like a three bedroom house yeah sure and then saquon barkley unemphasized from the group chat this sucks yeah And he's like you know what that's my price to get my back on the entire position it's doggy dog world but if if you're if you're austin eckler right now and then you you have this big zoom call that you lead and then a day later your quarterback signs for infinity million dollars basically yeah how pissed off are you very very very very mad if you're austin and it is what it is because you knew Justin Herbert was going to get it it was whatever the the question I have with the Justin Herbert is when has Joe Joe Broberman paid no so every time every time a quarterback gets paid you have to have the conversation about well who's the next guy to get paid it's Joe Burrow and in this case it's Joe Burrow who's next guy and then pretty soon we're just gonna be saying like when rookies sign the rookie deal wait till wait till Bryce Young hits the open market but Joe Burrow and Justin Herbert were same draft class yeah so Joe's next you would think Joe would have already been paid I wonder if Joe's gonna break off a little for his running back interesting Joe for Joe.
Other things that happened in the sports world.

I mean, we should at least mention it.

It was very, like, sad.

Bronny James had a cardiac incident at USC practice.

He went into cardiac arrest, so his heart stopped.

It's crazy.

That's one of those, like, would never even make a joke about it moments,

but that was obviously trending.

And it sucks, too, because when that happens

and then the entire internet decides to spend the rest of the day

I would never even make a joke about it moments, but that was obviously trending. And it sucks too because when that happens and then the entire internet decides to spend the rest of the day hypothesizing on why it happened, that's pretty shitty.
Yeah, it's pretty bad. I made a mistake today.
It's like a rookie internet mistake. I got deep into the replies to the replies.
Oh, yeah. To the replies.
Oh, yeah. And I just feel so much worse about humans in general after that that it was bad it was bad it was bad internet yeah i wish the internet had been shut down today but um you just basically crawled into billy's brain for an hour i did yeah i got it's a scary place i truly heard both sides i heard both sides of every argument so don't tell me i have to listen to both i heard every side yeah this is probably a good episode that billy's not on because he'd be like well i heard reports and it's just you know fart sniffer 69 17 replies deep yeah yeah i went to i i watched doogie hauser it was bad i know what this was yet somehow not as bad as the damar hamlin clone incident which i we can look back on that and everyone should go back like kids should study that in textbooks for the next five years.
The reaction to DeMar Hamlin showing up in a snow game and you can't see his entire face because he's wearing a mask to protect himself. And like half the Internet, it seemed like, was like, that's a clone of DeMar Hamlin.
Yes. And people believe that it was a fucking it was an actual clone.
Right. And it was what I say to anyone who has these grandiose conspiracy theories.
Yes, there's been some weird things have happened in the past few years, but you have to ask yourself how many people would have to be in on it for this to successfully be like, you know, pulled off. Yeah.
And that's in the entire bills like 100 people in the bills locker. Everyone in the Bengals would have to be like, was not damar hamlin that was a clone and we're not going to say anything and i'm still confused about what the end game was of of having a clone show up but it's not actually damar this is when we need billy on the show we do need billy to explain like what what was their what was the motivation what was the big chess move that they were playing there but yeah uh sucks for brawny sucks for his entire family sucks for a lot of people yeah um so hope he's okay yeah hope he's okay hope he can get back to playing basketball um what else oh do you well i guess is that gonna be in your hot seat cool throne hank yeah okay all right so let's i don't really know how to go about it but okay well you know what i don't want to be mean yeah but let's let's let hank have his moment there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich.
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Alright, hot seat, cool throne.

Hank, the floor is yours.

Make sure you turn your camera on.

True.

I can go about this two ways.

I can be on the hot seat and be really out of pocket,

or I can be on the cool throne and just be a nice guy.

PFT, I'll leave it up to you.

I think you've got to be out of pocket.

I don't want to be that out of pocket.

Hank, I want to let you off the leash. You want me to be out of pocket be out of pocket all right my hot seat is blake oh okay first of all you got a new dog named it blake i did so all the other blakes are on the hot seat that's true and obviously you know the last name for a dog the it is a cool name for dog it's a great dog i met I met him the other day.
He's an absolute delight. Great dog.
You love him. We all love him.
I love him so much. But unfortunately, the lasting memory of your previous dog is misreporting this news on Jalen Brown.
What does this have to do with Blake? What does this have to do with Blake? It was a two for one. Let him off the leash.
You can't be upset. I know.
Is Blake not a good boy? Well, it's like you're already kind of like. I think he's a very good boy.
You're forgetting about Leroy. And if you remember Leroy, it's like, oh, Leroy.
Oh, remember when he had the worst breaking news of all time for no reason? When he was already dead? Yeah. Which was? That Jalen Brown was doing a sign-in trade.
Okay, well, listen. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

No, no, no.

You wait.

He signed?

No, I get to defend.

You're also saying the fine print.

Leroy has the percentage.

I get to defend my dog on this one.

RIP.

May he rest in peace forever.

Leroy got a scoop from somebody who had given him a scoop before.

Scoop in the grave.

And Leroy.

Yeah, I'm aware that my dog is dead, Hank. That's mean.
Hank, I'm very aware. I, you, I, you, I, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,.
And Leroy, yeah, I'm aware that my dog is dead, Hank. That's mean.
Hank, I'm very aware. You let me off the leash.
I laid on his little puppy chest and gave him a hug. I didn't want to do this.
I didn't want to do this. He didn't want to go there.
I laid with Leroy as he took his last breath in. But you say Leroy in the current tense.
When he got the scoop, he was dead. Well, if you know anything, if you actually read Twitter.com or X, whatever they're calling it right now uh you'd know that the account is called the ghost of leroy it's not leroy it's leroy's ghost okay okay so well you said leroy not the ghost leroi has never been perfect and the beauty of leroy the ghost that we're talking about the ghost of leroy can i finish well you gotta clarify i need you to clarify let me finish thank you for let me finish Leroy or the ghost of Leroy? Shut the fuck up, Hank.
The ghost of Leroy. Thank you.

And Leroy, his ghost, would come back with a ghost little howl. Oh, and he'd break some news.
And he was right about some of the news. He was wrong.
There was a material change. But was he? There was a material change.
But a sign and trade. He's already signed.
Well, there's a possibility at some point in the future he will be traded after he's signed. That was my point.
You're actually 50% of the way there. Yeah.
Well, forgive me for not going that far with that. I was a little triggered when Hank put my dead dog on the hot seat.
No, I put Blake's on the hot seat. I put Blake's on the hot seat.
I'm aware that he's dead. That was crazy.
I'm aware that it was wild. Well, no, I just put Blake's on the hot seat.
It's like, you know. Hank, why are you so mean about my dogs? I literally, like, again.
Do you love Blake? You let him off the leash. You did let him off the leash.
I love Leroy, too. But when you make these fake rumors and everyone believes them.
I don't make the fake rumors. It triggers me.
And it's like, why am I getting triggered at a dog who's dead? Because his owner won't, like, what's going on? Won't fact check. I think you're on the hot seat, Hank, for getting mad about a Twitter account from a dead dog.
But you had to see this company. But I know who runs the Twitter account.
Yeah. And my, again, it always comes back to, you know, let him rest.
Now, you had to have seen this coming, PFTV, because when it did happen, you were kind of rubbing it in Hank's face. A lot.
On text about Jalen Brown's sign-and-trade. A lot.
So you had to have expected this reaction to come. Of course.
Of course, Hank's going to do a victory lap. He gets very few of them.
He hasn't won a lot recently. So he's going to high-step a little bit.
Oh, great job, Hank. Maybe it's because you golf, conservatively speaking, 50 times more than I do.
But, yeah, okay. Leroy's account was wrong on this one.
The dead ghost dog was wrong on this one. There was a material change.
He hasn't been traded yet. He's not wrong.
He's just not right yet. Yeah.
Either way, shout out to Jalen Brown. Highest contract in NBA history.
Will it buy him a left hand? Everyone says that. It's like, what do you think he's doing in the offseason? That's what people do in the offseason.
Robert Williams is going to be shooting threes. Jalen Brown is going to be dribbling with his left hand.
The Celtics are going to win the championship. Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum are 25 and 26 and they're about to be signed for the next 15 years.
If you're saying we're definitely going to win a championship if only our highest paid player can learn how to use his left hand, that's a bad situation. The highest paid player ever in NBA history.
$304 million. If he can unlock the other side of his body, we're in good shape.
Exactly. How much are you going to have to pay him when he does learn to go left? We got time.
We got time to figure that out. It's very rare.
And the NBA contracts in the next, like, whatever, 10 years, the salary cap's going to go up 10%. So it's like in five or 10 years, when Jalen Brown and Jason Tatum are only 30, it's going to look like two great deals.
No, when he's making $68 million in four years, it still will be a lot of money. Yeah, but if we have two or three rings, it's worth it.
Two or three, yeah. Not two, not three.
It's rare that, like, a joke that all of Twitter makes can make me laugh,

but the clip of the actual one-handed basketball player,

who he's an amputee, he does not have a left hand,

and being like, this is what the Celtics just paid for, it made me laugh.

It is funny.

It was funny.

And the robot shooter dribbling. Yeah, we made a robot programmed ai on jalen brown yeah uh hank listen i'm sorry that you hate my dead dog i don't i hate you i hate you for making me feel any type of way towards someone who is dead yeah he doesn't hate leroy he hates you he hates me that's.
Yeah, it's very clear. You are basically Baby Gronk's dad.
That's true. Like, it's not.
I have nothing against Baby Gronk. I have nothing against Leroy.
But it's the one who's weaponizing him and blasting him out there. You know what? He's literally dead.
Maybe Blake will become Baby Leroy. Yeah.
And he'll break news that'll piss you off. I mean, again, at least, at least only have him break Boston.
And all bad news. That's his entire beat.
Belichick on the hot seat this year. Baby Leroy can confirm.
Oh, all right. What's your cool throne, Hank? Again, I didn't want to do that.
Why don't you just give us the cool throne on the leash? Yeah. What would the version of Ben if you turn the page? Oh, the Throne was just going to be the Celtics.
Oh, okay. That probably was an easier way to do it.
But you were definitely going to get to the Leroy show. It was hard.
Again, it has nothing to do with Leroy, but it's like I did feel this type of way because, again, if you were doing all this behind the scenes you're going to talk about me and my stomach issues before the show, which was off the record. And then the text that you were sending the day that you broke that fake story were so out of pocket.
Like I couldn't believe it. How were they out of pocket? You were rubbing it in his face.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, the best part about this, people are watching on the YouTube won't realize this, especially people listening just the audio but we can't actually see Hank's face he's behind the computer a monster computer so we have no he's just getting so angry like the fucking Wizard of Oz back it's like the dealer and deal or no deal yeah the banker yeah by the way I don't watch YouTube you can see it on YouTube didn't realize we had to say this, but there was a few people who commented this.

But for the record, this is not our new studio.

The new office is coming in September.

Yeah.

People are also getting this wall painted.

So it's not going to look as.

Can we still have an entire wall in front of Hank's face so I don't have to look at him during shows?

Yes, I'm down for that.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, you besmirched my dead dog.

Well, I'll just go reverse.

My hot seat was going to be Kim Kardashian because in another fake piece of media that

you guys were trying to spew, it came out that Tom Brady is not dating Kim Kardashian

and is actually dating supermodel Irina Shike.

We don't spew anything on this show, Hank.

No.

Yeah, just lies, fallacies, and just things to trigger me. Fact or fiction, Hank? Fiction.
I don't even know. It doesn't matter.
Fact or fiction. A guy can be seeing two different girls at the same time.
Fact. Physically? Fact.
Yes, physically. Anyone.
Yeah, you could see 20 girls at the same time. Okay.
So he might still be seeing Kim Kim. No, but that was a rumor about them speaking at a party.
This is them actually being spotted out together. Hank, is the rumor at a party not out? No.
No. No.
No. That's in? No.
Tom Brady was driving her. They went out together.
He picked her up. He dropped her off.
She was wearing the same clothes. Like, this is real rumors.
The Kim Kardashian stuff was just made up bullshit on the 4th of July. Okay, Hank.
They happened to meet at the same party. They had a conversation.
And then it was like, oh, they're dating. It's actually the 3rd of July.
Hank, fact or fiction. Tom Brady, if he got maybe denied by Kim Kardashian, what's the best way to possibly win her love? Go find a supermodel and be like, look, I don't need you, but please call me.
No. Here I am in the press.
Look how much buzz is being generated by me dating this person. Fiction.
Would the Kardashians be interested in generating buzz? I think they might. Fiction.
Okay, fiction. He was probably so sick of the rumors.
He's like, I got to prove that this isn't a thing. Supermodel, let's go out together.
I bet he was thinking about Kim K the whole time.

No.

Okay, that was a very spicy hot seat, cool throw, and PFT.

Yep.

On with the show.

My hot seat is Hank because he's a piece of shit.

My other hot seat is Kyle Shanahan's wife.

Oh.

Kyle Shanahan's wife is on the hot seat because Kyle gave a press conference today, and they were asking about his players, and they asked him about Debo Samuel in particular. And he said, never in my life has anyone sent me as many pictures of themselves shirtless as Debo Samuel, but it looks good.
So apparently Debo's blowing him up just with like topless picks left and right. Apparently Debo was saying he was out of shape last year.
Debo says that he played like shit last year, which I would love to have a shitty Debo Samuel on my team. Yes.
But he's apparently texting all these pictures of Kyle just being like, look how jacked up I am all offseason. I kind of like that.
So I kind of like it too. Yeah.
But hot seat, I guess, everyone that Kyle Shanahan's ever dated because I guess no one sends him nudes. Yeah.
Now he gets Tebow Samuel. I'll send nudes to Kyle Shanahan.
Why not? Or topless. I'll try to break that record this offseason.
Do it. My cool throne is integrity.
Integrity is on the cool throne at the PGA Canadian tournament this saw this tournament this weekend this is a crazy story a player named justin dodin uh signed an incorrect scorecard but it just wasn't incorrect they had him listed as three under par and his playing partner was in the clubhouse and saw it on tv that they listed him on the leaderboard three under par his playing partner was like wait no he's not three under par i i verify a scorecard i signed it and i had him at one under par and so they alerted the pga of canada whatever that organization is they brought the scorecard out they looked at it and on the last hole he got a seven in real life he got a On the scorecard, it was listed as a 5 Not only was it listed as a 5 But it had been listed as a 7 And he used a pencil eraser To erase the 7 And drew in a 5 And falsified a scorecard after his playing partner Had already signed it Yes, and it would have been the difference between making the cut and not. I kind of respect the move.
Of cheating? I said on the last show, like, if you're on the PGA Tour, just cheat. Yeah.
You can make a lot of money. I actually don't respect the move.
It's kind of a shitty thing to do. It's a very shitty thing to do.
It takes some balls to try to do it. It takes some huge balls.
So, yeah, it was bad. It was very, very bad.
So, I guess he got kicked out of the tournament. Kick him off the tour.
People forget Vijay Singh did the same thing. Really? Yeah.
Did he? He did it in the Asian tour. He got kicked out of the tournament.
This was before his career took off when he was like 22 years old. Doesn't like to talk about it, but basically the same thing.
I hope he learns from this. Yeah, and wins a Masters.
And wins a master's and then we all forget about it 20 years from now yeah but yeah the balls the balls that it takes to like actually erase your score and then also if you're going to cheat just cheat by change the the number on two different holes and put that as like a six and then change a five don't do the last hole not the last hole it's the one that you remember most. And probably the hole that you played the worst on.
If you got a seven and you're three under. He also hit it in the water.
Yeah, so everyone knows. Yeah, everyone knew.
So everyone knows. Yeah.
But you can't. No, you can't.
Integrity matters. Don't worry, plug God.
We're going to get there. Integrity matters, Jake.
Okay. My hot seat, I have two.
The first ise biden's new dog which might actually just be major biden so major biden got kicked out of the white house biting people too much joe biden got a new german shepherd it has also bitten four people yeah there's no that's major biden it's the worst washington commander yeah it's that's his name isn't it it's the new dog is commander or the dog. But that's major.
That's Major Biden It's the worst Washington commander Yeah That's his name The new dog is Commander the dog But that's Major That's Major No Major was I'm saying they didn't kick out Major It's a clone They just were like Yeah we sent Major away We got a new dog Looks exactly like Major He just went on And just started biting everyone again So there are a lot of videos This is where the problem comes up Of the two dogs together Oh So they have been in the same room at the same time as each other either way he's biting everyone our colleague uncle chaps made a very good point which is you live in uh maybe one of the most secure buildings you have access to anyone in the military that you want get somebody to train the fucking dog yeah somebody should be there to train that fucking dog yeah although it kind of rocks if they're going out just biting. It's kind of funny to have a shithead dog like taking massive dumps in the Oval Office.

Yeah.

That part's kind of funny.

Yeah.

And they should just actually they could easily solve all of this and be like, just put a lawn sign.

Just beware of dog.

Yeah.

Boom.

Problem solved.

It was pretty clear.

This dog is not well behaved.

Hank, do you also hate Commander?

No. You are becoming Max.
But Commander actually bites people. That's an owner issue.
Okay, so this is a get Biden out. No, I mean, at least maybe get him some more time with the dogs.
Yeah, he should spend all of his time with the dogs. How you train a dog should actually playability yeah you should be given you should be given a puppy at the start of the campaign trail and then they judge it based on obedience if you can if you can train a puppy you can train a congress yes um all right my other hot seat is elon musk um so this was a couple days ago actually no it might have been today so elon musk a couple days ago, we should stop making our appliances so smart.
And then this guy named Mike Lee Pearl posted an article about Elon Musk. I don't know when it was written.
I'll just read from it. So this is Elon basically being like, appliances are too smart.
This article says it's talking about Elon Musk in SpaceX or wherever. Elon comes down, he walks over to the breakfast bar, and he picks up a package of Pop-Tarts.
And the funniest thing to me was the fact that most of us take Pop-Tarts for granted. He was transfixed.
This was like a scene out of 2001 A Space Odyssey when the apps examined the monolith. It was clearly the most fascinating thing he'd seen that morning.
Eventually, Musk realized that Pop-Tarts were best enjoyed toasted, so he opened a package and put two of them into the toaster, Thompson said. Only Musk made the rookie mistake of inserting the pastries horizontally rather than vertically.
When they popped back up, he had to stick his fingers into the toaster to grab his breakfast. This was a problem, and at about 6 in the morning, Musk proceeded to scream at full volume fuck it burns fuck it burns two older ladies at the front desk nearby watched in mortified silence so maybe they're not so smart the appliances he just didn't know what a pop tart was yeah it reminds me of that far side cartoon where it's the guy at millville school for the gifted and he's pushing on the door where it says pull yeah Elon is a very smart guy, but he's also one of the dumbest idiots on the planet when it comes to certain things.
Practically speaking, some of the decisions, like the rebranding of X, did you hear that he wanted to name PayPal X when he was working at PayPal? So he's been sitting on this idea. X is the coolest letter.
It's the best letter. it's the best letter by far so we'll give him that it's it's in my first tier of letters yep top of the first letter draft Friday oh yeah we should do that that's good Hank's gonna take him uh yeah he's he's he's a dumbest smart guy in the world but I also like to just spin zone this uh It's kind of like when Trump didn't know what a blizzard was like Elon Musk finding out as an adult what a pop tart is kind of rules because you basically get the rest of your life with pop tarts do you remember when Nick Van Exel found out what iced coffee was as like a 50 year old man like that it sucks that you don't have it for that long but then to get that new surprise that late in life has to be awesome that's kind of a treat i had that with uncrustables yeah and now it's like holy shit i get it's something to look forward to my 30s and 40s but yeah i i kind of feel bad for elon musk that he never had pop tarts growing up yeah he had diamonds yeah uh okay and then uh my cool throne i don't really have a cool throne because it was going to be Jalen Brown, but Hank took it.
Yeah, I'd say so. He went hard in the paint.
I'll just go. Messi scored two more goals.
There it is. Messi scored two more goals.
He's the goal. Also, the Women's World Cup.
They're playing it at like one in the morning. They sure it's it's tough even as as massive of women's soccer as massive of fans of of the women's football as we are big cat it's tough for us to stay up i i will say that uh i'm betting it and it's kind of a thrill to wake up and just be like oh one oh lost yeah i'm for me it's just all loss yeah it's so that's that's been less thrill.
But I guess we played Netherlands tomorrow. Okay.
Yeah. 8 p.m., 9 p.m.
I'll be watching. I'll be watching that game too.
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
I watched the second half of the Vietnam game. That was bad.
Yeah. That was the worst three-goal victory I've ever seen.
I had minus six and a half. So we got to get better.
We got to get better. We got to get a lot better.
It's always tough when Vietnam trails you. Okay, Jake.
My hot seat's the Milwaukee Brewers. So the Milwaukee Brewers game against the Cincinnati Reds Monday night.
First batter of the game, Eli De La Cruz. He hit a long ball and it was robbed.
It was going to be a home run. So then on his next at-bat, on the scoreboard, the Brewers almost hit a home run in the first inning but didn't oh and what did he do hit a 456 foot dinger and it's a bit unprofessional by the by the broadcast yeah right not the broadcast for the scoreboard yeah that's the in-stadium scoreboard yeah that is so he was staring at Yeah, he showed them.
Did you guys see the graphic maybe a week or two ago where it was longest home runs in history? And it was just very funny because it was like Josh Gibson 700. Yeah.
Mickey Mantle. Babe Ruth 600.
And then when did StatCast come out? And the longest one in the last 20 years was like 505. Yeah, I feel like to get adam done all the time well they said that alan hill the the babe ruth and mickey manna ones were like hit into stadiums where there was no stands there was just a field and they counted the roll oh it's just like a golf drive what do they carry it caught the slope down uh-huh it is kind of cool to look at old stadiums.
The polo grounds, the coolest stadium to look at. It makes no sense.
It was like center field was like 600 feet. It was a rectangle.
The old Detroit stadium is my favorite. Oh, yeah.
The overhang double deck. Yeah, that ruled.
Yeah. Two football-related cool thrones.
My first, Jimmy Graham. Yeah.
He's in the league. He's back with the Saints the saints when i saw that i thought it said one day deal to have yeah no i thought that too playing this season yeah the saints did he play last year i don't think so he was on the seahawks was it last year the year before he was on the bears yeah he went to the bears after the seahawks i think uh no did not play in 2022 bears 2021 saints 23 seahawks oh he was on the packers yeah last year 2018 19 oh yeah i remember that yeah yeah nobody last year i feel like that never happens that a player takes a full year off especially that late in their career and comes back so good for jimmy graham maybe he's flying the plane he's flying planes yeah flying the Yeah.
My other cool throne, PFT. Can you give that to me? Joe Burrow.
He just signed a deal with Body Armor. Oh, hell yes.
Why is that your cool throne? Because Joe Burrow's our friend and Body Armor's our friend. And they're now partners.
Nothing else? There was a video with Caleb that they announced a deal. A colleague.
So, shout out Body Armor and Joe Burrow. He's got Zach Taylor.
I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, okay.
Yeah, Zach Taylor. Great video with Caleb.
Great video with Caleb. Shout out Body Armor and Joe Burrow.
And he's about to get paid. Also cool throwing the corn fairy.
Yes, 3.30 to 6.30 Eastern. What? Thursday through Sunday.
You're calling it? MV5 Invitational presented by Ole Miss. Let's go, Jake.
Yep. Will you have your pants off?

Yes.

Say yes.

Tune in to find out.

Tune in to find out.

Yes.

Pants off.

Jake, you got to slip in one call for us.

Tell me.

I'm coming.

I was going to say he stuck that right in the hole.

Yeah.

No.

How about a long putt and just be like, it's getting there.

It's getting there.

But it has to drop or it doesn't hit the same.

Yeah.

If it doesn't drop, you just be like, oh, that was like a typo

when you're going from your clit to your dick to your –

Is there any water hazards?

Yeah, 17 is a 200-yard par through with water to the left.

Oh, that's wet. That's so wet.
That's gonna be wet okay it's getting there it's wet it's in the hole it's in all right say it real say he stuck that right in the hole yeah okay got it he's really long also just ask this guy say this guy's really long yeah just continually ask everyone what their favorite hole is. Okay.
Yeah. Noted.
Better speed up the pace of play. They're going to start stroking guys out there.
I don't know if that's. Wouldn't want to see a guy stroked today.
Yeah. Or would we? I've seen a few guys stroke before, and it's not pretty.
Yeah, just throw it in there. Be loose.
We'll'll get loose with it we've got that's a no uh okay let's get to our interview speaking of golf awesome interview with brian harman just a fucking great dude like i think we're friends with him now because he is uh a cool dude who just won the claret jug so pft before we get to brian harman all protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
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Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com okay we now welcome on a very special guest he is fresh off his open championship win he's got the claret jug right behind him it is brian harman he is mega uh first of all congrats i i know you're probably on a whirlwind thank you for coming on uh because actually let's start there what what has the last like 48 hours been because it's probably been insane for you sunday night didn't sleep uh i got picked up at 3 a.m from our rental house flew out at 555 slept i don't know a few hours on the airplane and then uh full-on full-on dad since then got home man that's humble yeah it is back there it's like oh i don't you know don't let it change you i'm like change me i'm 36 with three kids but it's like i'm set yeah are they treating you any different now that you're a major champion? No. I was up at 6.30 with a bottle this morning from a one-year-old.
It's just – That's it. That's it, man.
Yeah. That's it.
Well, yeah, I mean, it was incredible to watch. I will be fully transparent.
I didn't know I was a Brian Harmon fan until this weekend. You somehow made all of England hate you and U.S.
and I love that because so what you said uh in the post game or the post round uh interview I think on Saturday that they were saying stuff you couldn't repeat you can repeat it here so what was the stuff that was being said to you while you were trying to win the Clara Chug?

Short stuff.

You're going to choke.

You don't have the stones for this.

You know, F you, F this, F you, you, you know, just, I mean, nasty stuff,

but I'm an SEC football fan.

I mean, it's like, bro, like, y'all are killing me, man.

Yeah, that's nothing compared to Death Valley. Go to lsu on a saturday night you'll you'll hear way worse man i've welcomed lsu fans to athens many times but you know it's just it was brutal it was brutal yeah well i just can't i can't imagine someone walking down you know like augustan national and someone yelling like know, you're going to choke.
Someone's got to leave. It just wouldn't.
It's just not. It's off-putting.
It's just a weird. Did it fuel you a little bit? Did that give you extra motivation? It didn't hurt.
You know, like I've always said, you know, I've been saying, if they wanted me to play worse, they should have been nice to me. That doesn't mean me.
But, yeah, man, I mean, the passion of the fans over there is cool. I was obviously on the bad end of it, but it's not a lot of times that we get to play what I consider as like a real away game.
That's what it felt like. Yeah, and if you're watching on the YouTube right now, you know this already, but but if you're listening you should just know that he has the claret jug behind him it's over his right shoulder right now i think probably the best trophy in golf i love the claret jug did you put have you drank out of it yet yeah we filled it up with we filled it up with beer guinness beer on uh sunday night and then uh so i've uh my wife rents this uh lake house pretty much every year up there upstate new york and get here and last night we were gonna fill it up again and and she's looking in the in the bottom and she's like we're not we're not drinking out of the thing she's like needs to scrub it is it's not pretty well yeah we'll just deal with that later Just kick that can down the road a little bit there was one guy in the british media that was he wrote an article about your your bow hunting and all this stuff kind of calling you barbaric american and they said basically like i shudder to think what he's going to drink out of the claret jug jug like you're going to fill it up with animal blood yeah i don't know they know.
They kept asking me questions about hunting. I was like, man, they must be really interested about, you know, all my deer hunting and stuff.
Boy, they didn't like it at all. No.
You know how they hunt over in England? It's way worse than in America. It's way worse.
It's way worse. And it's like, well, do you guys eat meat? Oh, yeah, we love meat.
Well, then what are we talking about?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was very fun.

It was bizarre that you became this guy.

I think it was a lot because of Rory and Tommy Fleetwood.

But like I said, by the end of the tournament, I was like, wait,

I'm a huge Brian Harmon fan because he's standing up for America.

Like, this is – yeah, he hunts.

Yeah, he owns a tractor.

Yeah, he likes SEC football.

Like, fuck you.

Let's, you know, anyone going away.

What now?

What now?

What are you going to do?

All right, so now that we've gassed you up enough.

You got me all fired up.

Yeah, we got you fired up.

This is what we do.

We do a little rope-a-dope with all of our guests.

The waggle is really annoying. Yeah, it's awful.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everybody.
Yeah, it's not great. When I first got on tour, I was one of the fastest guys on tour.
You can ask anybody, junior golf, amateur golf, college golf. I was go, go, go, go, go.
And I just found myself kind of twiddling my thumbs all day and uh lucas glover is one of our really good friends and i asked him he's a fast player always been i said man i like i don't know if i can do this like i can't sit around with it he's like man because if i could go back and do it again i'd slow down and uh i made a conscious effort to slow down and i just i didn't understand that when i slowed, it just opened up like this whole, like, like kind of not like OCD. I don't, I don't want to, you know, say that, but it's like, I just, I don't want to go until I'm ready.
And I just got slower and slower. I've sped up a little bit, but I'm working on it, but it's like, damn, I slowed down, started playing really good.
So I mean, what? Say it sucks. I know.
Well, that, that's a great answer because being like, yeah, I know it sucks, but like this is how I play. I think it's totally fine.
It's the guys who are slow who are like, Oh, I'm not slow. That's, that's what gets annoying.
I'm fully cognizant of it. I wish it wasn't that way.
I'm trying to make up for it where like when it's my turn, I'm ready to go. Like I'm not like, oh, I'm gonna get a number now or now I'm gonna read my putt.
So I feel like I try to be as ready as I can. And I'm still working on it.
I just I would love to get back to just like, you know, look, couple looks and then go. But it's one of those things where I probably hit too many shots when I used to play really fast before I was ready to play just because I'm trying to like – it's almost like you're trying to make a point like how fast you are.
Right. Just wasn't real productive.
So, look, I get it. I understand.
I've heard it from everybody, but, you know, I'm out of Clare Jug on Sunday night, so I

really don't give a shit.

I'd love to

care more, but

did you, I don't know if you

saw, but the broadcast did a waggle

tracker, which kind of did you dirty,

and it was a shot where I think you had like 20

waggles, and so

it was like, they had you going.

By that 20th one,

ooh, I bet it was a good shot, too.

I'm ready. Sometimes it's Thank you.
waggles so it was like he had you going by that 20th one oh that was a good shot too

sometimes it's one waggle sometimes it's 20 or however many those assholes it was a lot of waggles I was surprised I put a ruler up for how tall I was too.

Like, oh, he's a short guy.

Waggles it all the time.

Clowns.

How tall are you? Because I'm a fellow short king as well. 5'7".
5'7". Is that with the shoes on or with the shoes off? Well, I mean, if they asked me to take them off, I'd have taken them off.
But, you know, here I was, shoes on. Yeah.
It's like you and Messi having a great weekend. Yeah.
Short kings are back. I don't even know how tall Messi is, so why doesn't that get brought up? It does.
It does. Yeah, well, here's a – Well, I don't watch soccer.
I hate to disappoint all the Europeans again. Here's a tip, and this is just a free tip.
Yeah, I call it soccer. Yeah.
Maybe just pick a little bit of a smaller SUV to get out of. That's all.
Because that clip of you getting out of the SUV, that hurt because it was like, oh, that's him. There he is.
And the SUV was towering over you. So we got to get you a smaller car.
He's got books in the seat and everything, huh? But it was, I mean, so in a real question about like, you're, you're obviously not the tallest guy. It's pretty crazy watching PGA golf right now.
And like, it's all about the distance and how hard, how far guys can hit it out of the tee box. How are you able to like compete week in and week out? Cause you're so consistent in your career knowing that guys are going to drive it 30, 40 yards past you

and you've got to make it up somehow.

You know, I told this story earlier.

I was playing with Rory at Memorial.

This was probably seven or eight years ago.

And I've always said Rory's probably the –

I mean, at least in our generation,

he's the most talented driver of the golf ball that maybe he's ever lived.

He's incredible.

He really is.

And obviously he's, he's bombing it.

He's hitting these beautiful drives,

but he gets up on this on the short par four and he'd knocked it way down

there.

And he just like feathered this perfect little wedge up onto the green,

like in between shot.

I was like, damn, man, I'm not, I'm not any better at him at that. And like, I have to be a lot better at that than he is.
And, um, that's, that's kind of where I try to make up the difference. It's like the stuff that doesn't take like pure, you know, God given athletic ability to do, like, I'm going to try to be one of the best at that.
So round the green, wedges, short irons, mid-irons, stuff like that, stuff where you don't have to be able to swing at 130 miles an hour. I just don't want to give up any ground there, and then I figure I've got a puncher's chance.
Yeah, and your putting was out of this world good all weekend long. Was there a moment when you knew, like, I'm in the zone? Because I think it was the stat was you made everything within five feet and you made 13 out of 14, 10 and in, and the lowest amount of putts in 20 years.
You just made everything. So could you feel that? Were you like, this is – the cup is looking bigger.
I'm hitting every putt. I had a feeling that I had a big putt week coming.
I've been putting really good for about a month. I really started striking the ball well kind of mid last year, like a lot better than I've kind of statistically done for a long time.
And the putters have just been kind of lagging. But, yeah, I was hooping some you know the mid-range stuff you get a lot of mid-range putts over there where the pins are in pins around top of hills are right on bunkers so you're really having to you know be strategic and i was hooping a lot of you know putts where i played safe into the green and those are the ones that you kind of have to have over there but uh yeah i made some really good mid-length ones and all the short ones were and the greens are a little slower over there but but those greens were unbelievably pure i mean they did an incredible job yeah you made kind of a strategic blunder though afterwards you gave away your your secret weapon the 50 dollar mirror i don't care i mean i'll give you one yeah the 50 dollar mirror that you buy we're big fans of junk science in all its forms and i feel like golf on the planet there's no one on the planet that owns more golf trinkets and and just nonsense training aids than i do instagram's got me on the full every time it's like oh something that lets your – makes a beat when your wrist goes.
I've got it. All of them.
Yeah. I love that.
You're just like us. This is what normal – like weekend golfers, we see those Instagram ads.
We're like, that's going to fix my swing. The one that's like almost like a fly fishing rod that you practice or driving with.
What's the dumbest thing that you've ever bought to try to improve your game i bought the um i've got the the the the club that's got the blue really whippy shaft on it it might have only said the fly fishing one where it literally it's gonna like bend it around your ear that one ain't it doesn't work for you that's fantastic but you gotta you gotta got to keep using the mirror though i mean the results the mirror's not going anywhere i've got the one i love is the um i use it every day when i warm up it's a that big bent club like the compressor that one's money that one's good suggest that one what about uh all right so off off topic on golf and I want to i have a couple more golf questions in a minute but megacorp um when they decided to sign you was there even a negotiation or you're like wait there's a thing called megacorp i'm in because i mean i had no idea what megacorp was and your hat saying megacorp i was like holy fuck there's a megacorp they're awesome man they're so much fun they're an absolute they're an absolute right when we go and we play uh um i've done some days with them up at uh in wilmington and they've got a golf course up there we play all the time and whenever they order their drinks they call them airstrikes so they bring in these they bring you know they just oh i need an airstrike and here comes these drinks from just the woods these people is they are absolute they are absolute beauties they are so much fun to be around yeah do you feel like you you play better like you get that mega edge because you're wearing mega corp on your i feel like we're doing a mega cast right now like this is a great we're crushing this interview you're not a major champion you're a mega champion mega champion that is so funny that they just they just just hammered you guys with the all the all the stuff you just got littered across the studio now instantly like i we we we did the podcast on sunday. It's what they do, man.
They just make stuff appear. If you need something, it's just there.
It was 9 a.m. I walked out of my house, and there was five boxes of Megacorp merch.
We still think there's something shady, but that's, you know, we don't have to bring that up with you because Megacorp is just like, Megacorp is going to take over the world. I don't know how don't know how i don't know what they're doing but i'm in like i want to be when when history is said all said and done we want to be on the side of megacorp yeah can't can't beat them join them just just gotta go yeah some guys have major league baseball advertisements on their shirts you're you're rocking a company that does dominate the world meg it's pretty good pretty good i'd say advantage to you yeah um i i got a question that's not about golf either but it's about your bow hunting okay so um i don't know if you're going to get invited on the joe rogan podcast you might you might you might want to talk to you but we can do that conversation right here what is is it about bow hunting that first – a lot of guys, they go hunting, and they never try to even be a bow hunter.
But I feel like using the bow, it's almost like a type of zen that you have to get yourself into with the concentration. I guess it's probably – you can tell me.
Is it the skills that you learn while bow hunting, are those translatable at all to playing golf? Yeah, trying to. I mean, so I've killed, I've been out to Colorado four times, killed four really nice elk.
And just having to settle yourself down, control your nerves. And there's something really primal about it, man.
Just being out there. It's a super intimate, like you're right there with them.
I've done plenty of hunting with rifles and you know, just, just doing it from that far away for me, it's just, it's just not, it's not the same as being in something's backyard, in something's house and, and being right there with them. So for me, me that's that's the only way i really care to do it anymore yeah yeah i mean the difference between rory and you yeah anyone can bomb a 300 yarder yeah you're going with a bow uh are you ready to tell us how much the tractor is that you bought uh i mean i i will i mean it's public okay yeah because yeah they asked you and you said you hadn't told your wife yet i assume you've told your wife so you you bought yourself a tractor what what was the price of the tractor another another tractor okay it'll be the third one that third one that i own but uh it's a actual tractor's probably 70 grand and

then with all the um attachments it's probably closer to 100 that's nothing come on you just

i mean you won the claret jug like i i like that that you know when when you ask like brian harvin

what what's the first thing you buy it's a tractor you're walking off the 18th being like oh i'm

gonna buy this tractor i had my eyes on hey man i got i got three college college tuitions to pay

All right. buy it's a tractor you're walking off the 18th being like oh i'm gonna buy this tractor i had my eyes on hey man i got i got three college college tuitions to pay for man down the road we got to play yeah i mean that's that's what you should do next time don't roll up in in the chevy tahoe roll up on a tractor i might put it on a boat for true next year and roll up to the course every day with it.
So, back to golf real quick. We were talking about it.
On Saturday night, you're sitting in your Airbnb. You got a five-stroke lead or six-stroke lead, whatever it was.
Are you sitting there being like, well, this can go one of two ways here. Like, I'm either going to win this thing or I'm going to choke and it's going to be yeah drastically like terrible I can only go two ways you know you're either you know you're either the the guy that's going to win it or the guy that's going to lose it it's hard and so it's yeah it's almost it almost be easier to be a shot back or a shot in front um yeah it was a unique experience but um i just i kind of had a feeling i was i was getting ready to go sunday morning i was in the shower and i was i found myself like worrying about it and i just kind of felt like you know you can't win the open in the shower so just get to work and see what happens yeah that's yeah that's.
Now, were you visualizing Kirby smart when you said that? Because I was just thinking about it. It's just a funny visual to be like, what would Kirby do here? Man, I'm just super impressed with the guy.
You know, I've known him in passing. We spent just a little bit of time together.
And a lot of the stuff that he says like seems cliche but you're like damn it just the dude just gets it done like he just just an animal relentless and super impressive so i'm like well i'm just gonna copy him that seems like it's working we'll just try that yeah has he reached out to you yeah yeah he texted me um second grads and and um yeah he's a he's a great guy that's pretty cool yeah i mean you and you just all you do is win right now because you are a georgia bulldog you got back-to-back national titles they are a problem right now yeah they are a problem they got it rolling now now talking about the psyche of a georgia fan are you guys now in the cocky we expect it? Because for the longest time, like Mark Rick years, it was a lot of good teams but never could get over the hump. And Nick Saban is always the boogeyman.
Are you now comfortably like, yeah, Georgia is here and we're not going anywhere. This is going to be our decade.
I don't think any real Georgia fan feels that way. I think there's enough scar tissue there where you're like, when is the curtain going to get ripped back? When is your heart going to get ripped out again? Because it was, I mean, wow.
I mean, those 10 years for as awesome as Mark Rick was and as great as a person he was, boy, we had some tough games. Just games where you're like, man, again? Like, again? And so I don't think any Georgia fans taking it for granted, at least not any ones that watched the same games I did growing up.
Yeah. They're kind of in the same situation that you were in on Saturday night.
It's like everyone expects Georgia to go out there and win every game. I think they're, what, like minus 150 to win the SEC? Like already against all those other great teams that they have.
So when you're thinking about Kirby Smart in the shower, as you said earlier, what are you imagining him saying? Is he wearing the visor in the shower? How wet is he in the shower? Oh, he's wet. He's a wet boy.
He still has to use shampoo. That's the one great thing about being bald.
No shampoo. Heaven.
Bar of stuff. So you're going to Sunday and you have this lead.
You've got a massive lead and you're trying your very best. Just, okay, we got to go out there, win the Open Championship because the alternative is that you're you're known as a choker at that point.

Are you looking at the scoreboard? Are you looking at the leaderboard during your round?

Are you planning your shots based off? OK, I still got this lead. Let's continue to be safe.

Are you just going out there and executing the way that you planned at the start of the round?

Yeah, just just going out and executing. I couldn't help but think about like how awful prevent defense is.
Like I hate to keep bringing up football references, but it's like it never works. It never works.
I wanted to stay aggressive. My game plan had been really good all week.
I've been driving the hell out of the ball and obviously putting it good. I just wanted to keep putting pressure on the golf course.
I've spent too much of my career worrying about what other guys were doing, probably much to my detriment. So I was out there just trying to play against myself and just trying to out-execute myself every time.
Just every time trying to get a little bit more confident, a little bit better. And I did a really good job of that, I thought.
So you bring up your career. It's a fascinating career because you've been tremendously successful, made a ton of money playing golf, but you obviously hadn't had this moment that you had on Sunday.
Was there any part of you, you know, getting into your 30s where you're like, maybe it won't ever happen. Like maybe this major thing, I'm a really, really good golfer.
I'm better than 99.9999% of the world but that that last piece it's not it's just not in the cards for me yeah especially um you know a couple years ago I had a pretty good chance at Augusta I was um they made a couple shots back going to Saturday ended up finishing you know 10th or 11th or something but felt you know, at that point I was like, all right, maybe I'm kind of rounding for him. And then I come back the next year and, and, um, you know, I've got four iron in where I had nine iron the year before.
So, I mean, these courses are getting longer. They're, they're making them different.
And, um, there was definitely a point where I'm like, man, I don't know if I, I don't know if I can i can i don't know if i can elevate enough i don't know if i've got the skill set to to hang sometimes and uh you know you get six years without winning and i had all these great top tens and was around the lead a lot but it's just never you know yeah it's it's it's been a hard i mean as successful as i've been um i had to just kind of take a step back and be like, you know, is that good enough? And for me, it wasn't. And I'm glad that I kept that.
I've always liked the grind of it. I've always, you know, kind of like climbing out of bad spots.
So yeah, man,

this, like I said, this has all been a kind of a whirlwind, but I'm not, I'm not shocked,

but I'm, you know, I'm surprised, I guess, because I hadn't really, I mean, I'd always knew that I had the potential, but I never really considered, like, what it would be like. Yeah, I mean, it's tremendous.
Golf's such a tough sport because as well as you can play, you can go out there and play to the best of your ability, and sometimes you still don't win. There's only one guy that wins every weekend.
Do you still have fun playing golf when you're not winning? If you go out there and you play to the best best of your ability is that still fun for you or in the back of your head is like shit that sucks i i i didn't win again like is that does that take away from your enjoyment of it it it starts wearing on you when you've got like you know you've got you know your peers that have won more times and and you start looking man, I've had 50 top 10s and I got two wins. Maybe I'm not a winner.
I feel like I've won at every level and done it a bunch, but when is it coming? Is it not coming? When's my turn again, it's a rough sport. You're having to beat someone playing the best golf of their life every single week.
And, you know, other than for guys like Tiger Rory and the guys that are just complete animals, it's a pretty tough deal. You're a winner.
You're a mega winner now. Yeah.
And can you settle something? Because I read that you're actually right-handed. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Yeah, righty.
Yeah, full righty. So why did you decide to start playing golf left-handed? Baseball.
Yeah, play baseball. So I guess my parents tell the story when I was little.
Every time I pick something up, I'd swing it lefty. So they'd get me a right-handed glove considering I was going to – or considering I was going to throw it.
So I'd catch it with the right-handed glove and take my glove off and throw it back to them. You're like Jim Abbott.
Yeah. The whole story, though, is tremendous because it's so crazy thinking about any professional sport.
you know know the guys who don't win the big championship over and over but they're still so good and they're still so accomplished at their profession and just keep grinding and finding that one moment like those are the stories you root you watch sports for you know not not over there they hated me yeah That is true not over there there was no underdog love over there they hated me yeah you did yeah that's true you should have did you chirp back at all did you say anything back oh boy did i wanna boy we can give you the floor right now if there's anything you'd like to say to great brit to Great Britain. You can't give them the fuel, man.
Because if you let them know it's bugging you, then they won't stop. Yeah.
That's true. That's smarter than us.
Make a bogey on Saturday and people are cheering. You're like, what the? Come on, man.
You're brave man yeah brave i'm doing my best come on yeah if if you were to address the uh the country of england right now you have the floor what would you like to say to them oh man red coats came and went i had one last question. Rated T for team.
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WWE 2K25 available now. So you have shot a hole in one in the same round before.
That's insane. What was going through your head when you hit the first and then when you hit the second? This is in tournament play.
People, obviously professional golfers, mostly hit a hole-in-one, but you wait your whole life to hit a hole-in-one. You hit it two times in one day.
Tell me how that felt. Well, the first one was on number either three or or four and it got me back to even par for the day and then the next one was i think on hole 14 and it also got me back to even par for the day so it wasn't i wasn't like i was setting the world on fire i was i was sucking wind it was the first it was the final round of the first playoff event and uh, I think I was 80th or 90th on the FedEx Cup.

So, man, I was grinding, trying to get, I think, into the top 100 for the next week.

So, I mean, two hole-in-ones, I think, got me just inside the top 100.

I think I ended up finishing inside the top 70 somewhere for the year.

So, I mean, I was stoked to have them, but I was just, I mean, full-on mode trying to, I just went, I wasn't very good. Yeah.
I wasn't very good. You did buy, you did buy drinks for everyone.
I saw that. Credit to you.
New York City. What a great place to have two hole-in-ones.
That was fantastic. Yeah.
Luckily, luckily our mutual friend, Kevin Kisner, was well into the bag, so he couldn't, he couldn't hurt me too bad by the time I showed up. Yeah, he bought 300 beers and a bunch of bottles for the media center, for all the journalists.
That's like $190,000 in New York City. Yeah, where were those guys to bail me out when these guys were asking all these hunting questions last week? Buy them all this booze and then don't receive it.
That's a good point. That's a good point.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I did have one last, last question.

You have not tweeted since 2020.

You want to fire off a tweet right now?

I just, I mean, I.

Maybe just the eyeballs?

Maybe the eyeballs?

Just tweet the eyeballs?

Twitter just doesn't make me happy.

It just doesn't.

What if you just said, I'm going on part of my take tomorrow mega mega episode yeah i'm i'm i have a mega episode yeah yeah that'd be great we can figure that out we can figure that i have to get my login back i was gonna say i don't think you have your login but yeah then i take everybody's blue checks do i still have a blue check probably not now huh no you definitely don, you definitely don't. You definitely don't.
Yeah, you need to just tweet. Wait, if you have $8, you can get a blue check.
Do you have $8? I keep paying now. Or green check? Isn't there a green check now, too? Blue check? Yeah.
What do you got? Green check? You're smart. You're smart to not be on Twitter.
But yeah, if you just tweet, you know, mega episode coming on Pardon My Take Tonight, people would like it. I'm telling y'all first week y'all mega corporate match made in heaven yeah well i just i just want a truck yeah the merch is cool but it'll be you know it's really cool if they just sent me a giant mega truck yeah yeah yeah and we're gonna say this right now just so it's clear because mega corp like they they negotiate very well because of their name and

how could you not be mega but this is the last time we're giving them free advertising so yeah they're gonna have to start becoming a title sponsor pardon my take yeah they will man they'll do it i actually looked it up their stock jumped about uh nine percent since thursday since you started playing oh wow you should get a little cut of that and so should we It's going to jump again tomorrow.

So should we it's gonna jump again tomorrow so should we a little cake a little cake for that yeah yeah they drone strike me megacorp listen megacorp should be like why why not why why can't we'll sell we'll we're like wayne's world we'll sell out we'll wear megacorp i'll get a Megacorp tattoo. I don't care.

I'm very confident there's a few employees that have Megacorp

tattoos. Why wouldn't

you? I might name my next

fictional son Megacorp.

I'm just watching this

perfect synergy of

it's happening.

Who doesn't want to be mega?

People who make their

job, their entire personality, it's lame, except if you work at Megacorp. Like that is totally fine.
I mean, y'all have nailed it. You've nailed it.
It's perfect. All right, my last, last, last question.
Give me a prediction for college football. Where are the Bulldogs going to go this year? Is anybody going to beat them? I don't know uh tennessee at tennessee is a tough one last next last game of the year uh sec championship will be a tough one i mean you know without a missed field goal from ohio state they lose in the playoff so it's it's just so hard curby i have them ready to play but it's just there's no telling.
My prediction is I think they'll drop one, but that they'll end up carrying the torch at the end of the year. All right, well, Kirby, do you think about Brian in the shower when you're getting ready for the SEC championship game this year? It's a mutual shower.
Maybe we'll just get in the shower with him. Let's just get – let's cut to the chase.
There's a little Northwestern there. I don't know if we need that.
We're talking about Southeastern. Human loofah.
All right. Well, Brian, you're a recurring guest now, so we will definitely have you back on.
This is a lot of fun, man. Yeah.
And are you playing in the BMW? In Chicago, yeah. Okay, so we'll see you then.
Yep. So, yeah, we'll be there for the practice round round so we'll see you then i'm just gonna show up in case you hit a hole in one you have to buy me a beer yeah i'll buy you a beer anyway how about that okay perfect yeah we're gonna also be just wearing megacorp gear so you'll you'll know who it is they'll buy you a beer too i promise I promise Yeah.
All right. Well, thank you so much, man.
Congrats again. Awesome story and appreciate it.
Thank you. I appreciate y'all having me.
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Okay, Mount Rushmore time. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hank. Do it over.
Do it over. No, we'll keep this in.
How are you feeling? You got the Rona? Yeah. Maybe.
What's up with those sandals? Were those given to you by the hotel? No. These are free sandals though.
Yeah. Oh time.
It's like you stole them from, like, a gym inside of an entire factory.

I know free ads, but I think they're from.

Those are big time free sandal vibes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mount Rushmore time.

We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of girls not to fuck with.

We already did guys not to fuck with earlier in the summer.

Now we're going to do girls not to fuck with.

Hank and Max are going to go first. First nominee, all women, because we should respect all of them.
Yes. Respect all of them.
Hank and Max, me and PFT, then Billy and Jake is the order today. Hank? Yep.
Clear number one one here. Max is giving me a look of pure fear that I'm a little confused about.
We just haven't talked about this one. Max sent me two picks two seconds ago.
Clear number one. Girl with a cracked iPhone.
Good call. Way to steal my pick.
Very good. That's fine.
I've only said it like three times on the show, but that's fine. That's a good pick.
Good pick, Hank. Should we have saved it for you? No,

I'm saying it's a good pick. I'm not

denigrating. Just so I can see Hank's fucking

shitty ass face.

I'm not denigrating. It's a good pick.

Yeah, no. It's a good pick.

I'm aware. Good pick.

Okay, correct.

So, Big Cat, where do we go with ours here?

Here we go.

Three, four.

I was going to press it. Are they actually numbered? Yes.
Yes. They're all numbered.
We go with six. Ooh.
Six is good, yeah. Okay.
All right. Girl who doesn't have any friends.
That's a big-time red flag. That's a big-time what's going on here.
Can't keep a lot of friends.

Don't know really what's, you know, doesn't have like a best friend, doesn't have a group of friends.

Or she has a very big group of girls that she talks about that she used to be friends with that she hates.

Yeah.

What about, is that the same as a girl that only has guy friends?

Yeah, that's fine.

No, that's different.

That's fine. Yeah.

But girl who doesn't have any friends.

There's something there that's, you don't want to get, you don't want to mess with that. She got nothing to lose.
Yeah, exactly. You'll be her whole life.
Yeah. And you will, that will be bad.
Yeah. I mean, if you're having friends is a problem.
Correct. Correct.
Yes. You wanting to go to the bar with your friends.
You want to go golf with your friends. If you didn't have friends, now you're in trouble.
Okay, Jake. Go for it.
Jake's nervous. Yeah, do it.
Jake's nervous. It would fucking rule if you were just like, girls who are cunts.
I know exactly where those are going. I know exactly.
A girl on their period. Oh! That's what I was thinking.
I think you and I are thinking the same thing. That's biology.
This is Jake's first proposition. It can't help that.
It's nothing against it, but, like, everyone knows. Oh, yeah.
It's a joke. It's that time of month.
I was saying the only. Like, it's nothing, like, personal.
It's just. Look.
Sounds perfect. A wise man told me the only thing a period stops is a sentence.
No, it's nothing like too deep.

It's just like they admit it too.

Like, don't screw with me when it's that time of month.

Some girls like it.

Yeah.

It's more pleasurable.

Isn't that why we can't, they're legally, we're not allowed to have a woman president?

Yeah.

Okay.

I like Billy's laughing.

Next up.

No, no, no. Oh, yeah, they have two.
Yeah. Lost in the snake.
No, you said this one. Billy's cheesing hard.
These were two of Jake's first things about that. I mean, yeah, it's a good first pick.
Pregnant women. Okay.
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
That's fine. They're building a human.
Yeah. They are building a human in a lab.
Their body is dedicated to more important things. Yeah, they're building a human.
Pregnant women really have no time to fuck around with any small issues. Yes, correct.
A lot of perspective. They also make me feel like the biggest pussy alive.
Yeah, well, not necessarily, Big Cat, because remember, we passed kidney stones. That's true.
And the doctor in the hospital, she gave birth to give she gave birth to triplets and she said that's the biggest pain of her life yeah so i've pretty much given birth that's true uh okay so i want to hear from none of y'all pregnant bitches uh i'd say that we go with maybe i like number 11 okay yeah okay a mother grizzly bear Yep. Ooh.
Don't want to fuck with that. Wait, Billy said he saw one last night.
No, no. No way, Billy.
On the internet? He said he saw a bear outside his shower. No, no, I was pissing last night, and I was looking through the pines.
He was hoping he saw it, yeah. I was seeing something that was moving through the pines, and I was like, that could be a black bear.
So that is definitively not seeing a bear. It was actually Kirk Minahan.
But Jake, didn't I follow it up with it? Could have been anything. Yeah.
I like to imagine that Billy and Jake have these quaint little breakfasts together, and Billy just tells Jake all of his lies in the morning, gets him out of the system. Yeah.
Okay. That's our next pick.
Yeah, you don't want to screw with that. No, definitely not.
Yeah. All right, do you guys have any original picks? Yeah, first one was original.
Okay. That's our next pick.
Yeah, you don't want to screw with that. I like it.
No, definitely not. Yeah.
All right, do you guys have any original picks? Yeah, our first one was original. Okay.
We're going to go with a girl who is a Taylor Swift super fan. Yeah.
We had Swifties on our list. It's a very good pick.
I was thinking about this. Well, there's guy Swifties, too.
There's guy Swifties, too. I was thinking about this while I was eating breakfast, and then I was like, I don't want to deal with Kelly.
Kelly Keeks. Like, she will rip my balls off if I say this.
So I was like, someone else will pick it. I'll let them.
Kelly, when you get to this point in the show, when someone tags you with this clip, it was Hank who said it, not me. Yeah, I mean, I like Kelly Keeks.
Very funny girl. But I feel like at probably multiple points.
Woman, yeah. What do you mean girl? Woman, lady.
Is she above the age of 18? She's a woman. Whatever you want to call her.
Damsel? Wait, is she in distress? Never know. Does she need you to save her? I feel like at multiple times in Kelly Keegs' life, she's had a cracked iPhone and been a diehard Swiftie.
And probably the last person in the world you want to fuck with i mean

if you and that's coming from a place of love if you want to you can go for the triple threat and just be like woman who's obsessed with the monarch yeah because it actually like starting to go through my head i'm like that actually like a woman who's obsessed with like real life princesses yeah okay good pick

Swifties could be like a terrorist group

they can dig up things that

you know Like a woman who's obsessed with real-life princesses. Yeah.
Okay. Good pick.
Swifties can be like a terrorist group. They can dig up things that you didn't even know were possible.
Yeah. Whoa.
What does that mean? Just on the internet. Like if you said something bad about Taylor.
You got some dark in your background shit? Yeah. No, I'm a Taylor.
I'm a Swiftie. You're a Swiftie? I'm not.
Our next picks, we will go with Die Hard Ast girls. Good one.
No, but they're easy to fuck with. Good one.
What do you mean? Hey, what's your sign? Oh, my God. I'm a Scorpio, too.
Oh, they're easy to fuck with. Okay, and then fucked with.
Yeah. You just talk about astrology, and you're like, oh, what's your sign? Then you look up what's compatible.
Then you're like, oh, yeah. Then you're like.
That sounds miserable. Then you're trapped in an astrology conversation.
Right, but then they're easy to fuck with. But who gets the payoff? Well, it depends on what you're looking for from the astrology girl.
I don't mind fucking with astrology people. I'm not intimidated by an astrologist.
I'm just like, wow, that person's dumb. Yeah, but have you ever talked to someone and they're like, when's your birthday? And then you tell them your birthday and they're like, oh.
And you just see it changed their whole attitude about you? Because that's happened to me personally. No, it's the truth.
Dude, you just be like, yo, sorry. I just thought that was funny.
I don't have any problem. I just think that you're very dumb.
Yeah, they are. Yeah, no, I actually.
But you wouldn't say that to them. You wouldn't say that to them.
No, I actually love it when people say things. Like when people are that upfront about things that I know I will not like.
I appreciate it. It's also like a great tell of like when someone says they're big into astrology, you know like, okay, I'm going to lower the bar of expectations on this person's intellect.
Yeah. Like it's just, you're just not going to be firing on all cylinders.
Right. But that's totally cool.
Yeah. Passions are cool.
Yeah. People are going to be mad about this clip.
No, I don't think so because they're too dumb to realize we're talking about them. You know what? I bet a lot of people out there will think that this clip kind of relates to them, but at the same time, make them think that they're special.
Right. They'll be like, oh, I'm not that into astrology where I'm dumb, but actually, if you're listening to this right now, you are.
But they only do it because it's kind of interesting to follow and just to think about. But they don't actually believe it.
It's a great excuse. They just want to share it with you.
If you're like, oh, I didn't call you back. Oh, Mercury was in retrograde.
No, that's just real. Mercury in retrograde is real.
That's astrology. When it comes to sports, it's real.
You're sounding kind of dumb. You're sounding like an astrologer.
No, when it comes to sports, it's real. Okay.
Good picks. Let's go with that one.
You want to go with that one or you want go with uh seven and then we come back with that one okay yes seven is another okay horse girls girls who are super into horses okay like that's something's something's wrong there something's something's off it's kind of a double threat it's kind of riding it's kind of girls who don't have any friends is one of them. Yeah.
And it's also definitely from a super, super rich, well-to-do family.

Right.

The combination is definitely.

It's wrong with money and the ability to ride.

Okay.

Okay.

Good point, Hank.

Yeah.

Just asking questions.

I just feel like if you like horses more than humans, I don't know.

Something might be a little off.

Yeah, get a dog.

I like dogs.

What?

You guys are very animalistic except for dogs.

No.

That's fair.

I love dogs.

Oh,

Thank you. I don't know.
Something might be a little off. Yeah, get a dog.
I like dogs. You guys are very animalistic except for dogs.

No, that's fair.

I love dogs.

But also, horses... You can love your dog more than anyone,

but if you love a horse more than anyone,

you're an evil person.

You can love your dog more than anyone,

but if you love your cat more than anyone,

you're an evil person.

If you love your hedgehog more than a person,

you're an evil person.

Well, I do think humans are more important

than all animals, but yes. Even dogs, which humans okay but like yeah okay it's still like yeah harambe should have died no but yeah maybe he shouldn't have we should have figured out a way not to kill him but damn a human child we're talking about a human child He should have gone in the fucking cove.
I mean, that is true. He was asking for it.
He fell. The provocation was there.
Well, Harambe probably waved at him and said, come on down. I want to clear, too, these are not racing horses.
Racing horses are different. Like the ones at the stables.
I'm talking about like the show horse, the show equestrians. Yeah yeah they're there for like to get their long hair

brushed and shit like horse or if uh girls are big big into like horsing race i can't speak

horse racing horses yeah that's different than the like jumping over a little shit and like

you know how come there aren't any female jockeys in their course there have been there are some

yeah i feel like some yeah ranch girls are also i think outside of that yeah yeah i'm

And I'm talking about a girl that, like, after school, she drives out to a stable somewhere, pets and combs her horse for a while. Yeah.
I would go even one further. Not even after school, because her school, she's homeschooled, and then she goes outside to her house and pets her horses.
That's weird. Yeah, very weird.
Okay. All right, Billy, I feel really, really good about this one.
That one will piss off more people than astrology. For sure.
Because horse girls aren't dumb. They're mostly online.
Right, exactly. They can afford to pay a phone bill.
They haven't lost all their money to internet scams. There's more astrology girls.
Astrology people are stupid. They won't even know we're talking about them.
But they will see this clip.

No, they won't.

Girls are astrology girls.

No, because they'll tell themselves that they're not that into astrology because they're stupid.

Yeah, because if you're really into astrology, you still say, oh, I just like reading it because it's interesting.

But also, on the flip side, they think that we're stupid because, like, fantasy sports.

Yeah, that's a fair trade. And that's a completely fair.

Like, the same thing with Taylor Swift. That is us in football.
Like we are one in the same. We're just, we're dumber than women.
There probably should be. There's probably a female equivalent of part of my take where it's five chicks sitting around just being like, okay, worst guys in the world.
The guy that tells you about their fancy team. Yeah, they're right.
And they spend an hour talking about us personally and they're right they're completely correct guy who cares too much about his bets they're literally talking about me and i'm like yeah you're right all right uh our last two picks the first one it's in the news right now we feel good about it you do not want to fuck with the united states women's national soccer team oh that's a good pick good pick they're going for three straight women's world cups right now yeah and you don't want to screw with them yeah they're dominant yeah absolutely dominant yeah rose lavelle former part of my take guest yes awesome player 2019 they're so good also that goes for just like as an entity how good they are at soccer but also you you don't really want to get into any takes about it. No, no.
You'll get fucking tongue-talked. Let's just talk sports.
Yeah. Also, Alex Morgan, don't fuck with her.
She's nuts. Remember she got arrested at Epcot Center? Yeah, but that kind of ruled because she was trying to go around the world.
Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah.
But I think she had, like, a .18 BAC. She's trying to get hammered at Epcot, man.
That's what we do. I think she got arrested in France In that part of France Trying to fight a Frenchman Because she was like fuck the French soccer team That's the USA bitch They were front and center on that Bleacher Report graphic Four years ago Alright this last one Billy I'm going a little bit rogue We We just agreed on it.
This wasn't on the table. We have a good draft.
Don't listen to Jake, Billy. You agreed with me this earlier.
Jake, how are you down with the list? We have a good draft right now. Don't screw it up.
This is my favorite part of every Mount Rush. We're on a roll.
You guys have two picks. We're on a roll.
You get two picks, dummies. I don't think they need two picks.
They've done a good job this draft. I feel good about it.
Go rogue, Billy. Jake's going to go mom.
You know what I'm saying? Go five, four, three, two, one. Girls with unnaturally colored hair.
Dye hair. That's like pink.
Let's hear Jake's. Let's hear Jake's.
Almost every woman in the world has older hair. Jake, go ahead with yours.
Like purple hair.

Yeah, Jake, go ahead with yours.

Girls with long fake nails.

Okay.

Okay.

These were both our, we agreed on, we agreed on the, no.

Okay, we'll do fake nails.

Okay, long fake nails.

Long fake nails.

You want to combo them?

You want to go fake hair and long nails?

And hoop earrings.

Well, okay.

All the accessories.

Okay.

It's all the accessories.

Yeah.

I also think most girls wear hoop earrings. Yeah, they do.
Big hoop earrings. Yeah.
All right. I think long fake nails.
Okay. Long fake nails.
I'll scratch it right up. Okay.
Our last one's easy. Can't believe this one lasts.
We can't talk about it for more than a sentence. Hillary Clinton.
Body counts. Next pick.
She'll kill you. Next pick.
Damn it. I thought we had this one.
Next pick. Now I don't know.
Next pick. Yeah.
Go to the next pick now. Now.
That I thought. I thought I had a good last pick.
That's a good one. Go to the next pick now.
Amanda Nunes. Oh, good one.
Good pick. Good pick.
Yeah, that's a good pick. All right.
Wow. Okay.
Good draft, guys. Yeah.
But now, I mean, I thought I had a great fourth rounder and then you had Hillary. The political ones just win.
No, Trump didn't win. It got them second place when they did not deserve it.
Are you talking about 2020, or are you talking about in Mount Rushmore? Gang is also political, though, so I see your point. Damn.
I feel good about this, but you guys are going to win. No, we could win.
The soccer team won because it's going to be happening during the World Cup. Yeah.
I think you guys stunk. No.
I think we were right. Well, we also had Erica Nardini on our list.
Don't fuck with her. Cardi B.
Big time, don't fuck with Cardi B. I feel like when she went after the dude whose stepfather died in the Titans submersible, it was like, that guy's in, fuck the Blink-182 concert.
You don't want to be on Cardi B's wrong side.onda rousey yeah yeah just choke you out manna nuna's fuck her episode hillary uh a mother a mother with young children yeah public yeah yeah i was thinking uh world world champion cheerleaders because every cheerleader is world champ yeah uh super competitive ones that are like i'm going do you guys think about adult uh women who still sleep with a stuffed animal okay yeah that one kind of crazy yeah it's also like most women but yeah is it i don't think so i think a lot of adult women have a stuffed animal they don't necessarily sleep with it they call jake oh squish mellows squish mellows squish mellows what are those when they're like actually really cool. I mean, my kids have them.
They're like just really soft, big pillows. But they're stuffed animals disguised as pillows to like.
Yeah. They're bigger.
Oh, I don't have stuffed animals. Do you guys remember Webkinz? Squishmallows.
What? Webkinz, it was like this interactive pet that you like take care of online. We were, no, we were.
Tamaguchi. Yeah, Tamaguchi.
Remember when we got Tamaguchi? We had Billy.

TNT Tamaguchi.

You had to keep him alive when you were 18.

Yeah.

Good job.

And we had the Twitter account.

Yeah.

That was awesome.

Yeah.

We should make you do that again.

We should make Billy keep a real baby alive.

We had a girl with princess tattoo.

Or a princess necklace.

Oh, you know it was a huge miss? Oh, my God. The girl who's way too into Disney.
An adult who's, like, way too into Disney. Yeah, having, like, Tinkerbell tattoos, Tinkerbell bumper stickers.
And being like, I want my wedding to be at Disney. Yeah, that's a big one.
I couldn't really think of the haircut to describe it, but, like, a woman with short We were saying the Karen haircut. Yeah.
Yeah, but you know. I don't know how to describe that.
I feel like. I think you just, a woman with short hair, you just described it.
But some short hair is nice. It's got to be like short hair, like above your ears.
I think they get, I think they. To defend women with short hair, I think they just get sick of having long hair their whole life.
Yeah. It does kind of suck.
I actually can empathize with you because I do bath time with my kids and washing long hair, my daughter's hair sucks. Yeah, it does kind of suck.
You have to always have a scrunchie or a hair tie with you. And you have to wash it five times.
It gets hot as fuck. It's crazy.
It gets so hot. You have to time out when you wash it because you can't shampoo it every single day.
Yeah. It's tough.
It's crazy to wash their hair every time they shower. Well, it makes sense because it takes forever.

Yeah.

So I think it's more like a necessity of like, I'm done with this.

Also dry shampoo.

Didn't know that existed until recently.

We had sorority girls.

Yeah.

Especially during Russia.

Disagree.

Disagree.

I think it's sorority girls that, I don't think it's sorority girls in college.

I think it's sorority girls who continue to refer to their sisters like 20 years later.

Yeah, sorority girls, they're harmless.

They're nice.

Good people for the most part.

But there's always one or two that take the sorority more seriously than everybody else takes the sorority.

It's the same as guys way too into his frat.

When they start flashing gang signs.

Yeah.

We also had Serena Williams at a Grand Slam.

Yep.

We had a pregnant woman on a plane with two kids and a bunch of popcorn that gets spilled everywhere. Yep.
Don't fuck with her. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay, this one will be spicy when we put out the graphic, but we just got to remind people we did guys not to fuck with, too.
What about a girl with cauliflower ear? Yeah. Oh, shit.
I wouldn't. I wouldn't fuck with them.
In the spirit of fairness, that should have been 1-1. Yeah.
Hank, that's a bad 1-1. You shouldn't have stolen mine.
You should have stolen Big Cat. A lady with a gun.
Yep. Yep.
Yep. That's pretty good.
Your mom. Yeah.
Don't mess with mama. Don't mess with mom.
Don't mess with mama. Yeah.
Grandma, okay. Grandma's sweet.
Don't mess with big mama. Yeah.
Don't go to big mama's house. Okay.
We should redact our last pick, PFT, for our safety. How about this one? Our last pick is Hillary Clinton, Big Cat, and PFT do not have any suicidal thoughts.
Okay. Good Mount Rushmore.
Okay. Let's wrap up the show.
We have, by the way, we have an incredible interview with LeSean McCoy coming Friday. We interviewed him last night, and it was awesome.
He's a recurring guest for sure. He's got takes.
The man has takes. So many takes.
He's so good for television. He's going to have a long career in media.
Yep. I like that.
I like it when you say that. Yeah.
It was great. You guys got to listen.

All right.

So Hank has left to take a shit.

False.

Oh, sorry.

I couldn't see you.

He's back.

That was quick.

Jake liked that.

Wait, did you turn my mic off?

Hank is drunk with power.

You motherfucker.

All right, Hank.

Guys on chicks.

Let's see if you can read.

My boyfriend, Max, and I had the biggest debate ever. Oh, fuck.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I had the biggest debate over ever a fuck no no no no no they wrote over they wrote over my biggest my boyfriend Max and I had the biggest debate over what is the most iconic reality tv show he swears by Jersey Shore and I said Vanderpump rules I'm dying to know your guy's opinion on this is and what reality show you think is best and why. Iconic? The challenge.
It's got to be Real World. No, yeah, Real World started it all, changed it all.
Puck, all time. He was the number one villain.
Bad boy. I mean, he literally made fun of a guy who had aids yeah i would say he was as bad as you could get it's tough to to get past the real world if you're going to go iconic i mean the nfl it started every reality show them all but i think well so i think the like iconic though might mean jersey shore because it really did like the the problem is Who has Jersey Shore here? The boyfriend? He's right if the debate is Jersey Shore because it really did like the problem is who has Jersey Shore here the boyfriend he's right if the debate is Jersey Shore Vanderpump rules Vanderpump rules is obviously insanely popular Jersey Shore was like guys and girls like Jersey Shore parties there's no Vanderpump without Jersey Shore well there's no there's no Jersey Shore without real world but my point is jersey shore like completely captivated the entire country for summers vanderpump is very very talked about but i don't think there's like vanderpump parties going on are there i think this past season with the with the scan of people dressing up like them people were fist bumping they were doing yeah not like jersey shore but this this past season had a lot of a lot of heat bachelor too not as big anymore i feel like but and also survivor gets to be thrown in there oh survivors survivor yeah absolutely 44 seasons yeah okay my boyfriend's friend comes over from over two hours away once every like three to four months the morning after they go out they always crawl into bed together whoa they don't sleep in the same bed but they'll lay side by side and reminisce is this normal in the same bed in the same bed uh normal no but i'm okay with it yeah it's not normal let's not get it twisted it's not something that most guys do but i think most girls do this girls do it all the time girls fall asleep together yeah at the end of the night Yeah, they'll not normal.
Let's not get it twisted. It's not something that most guys do.
But I think most girls do this. Girls do it all the time.
Girls fall asleep together. Yeah.
At the end of the night. Yeah, they'll be like, okay, let's go talk about the boys we dance with.
Yeah. I think it's not normal, but I also don't think it's sus, if that makes sense.
What are they talking about? They're talking about sports. Then it's cool.
They're also probably talking about how drunk they were. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, we got a couple fake ones.
I don't know. This means.
Wait, what's your take on that one, Hank? What? I don't think it's that weird. Yeah.
I think it's not like normal. Again.
If you're still drunk and it's like your boys that you haven't seen in a while. Right.
And it's the day after. And yeah, that's that's the good stuff.
You have to do a post game. Good stuff.
You know, like the post game is important, whether it's done in a living room. Everyone's still drunk.
You're all drinking waters on the couch. Remembering what happened last night.
Replaying things. What would you do different? That's a conversation that happens amongst guys all over the country this one just happens to happen in your bedroom um i mean this one is the most obviously written by a dude of all time okay my boyfriend likes to perform cunnilingus on me he's pretty good at it but he insists on blowing a raspberry on my clitoris every time he calls it finishing move i've usually always come to fruition before he does it, but the raspberry always makes me laugh and sucks the euphoria out of my body.
He keeps doing it because I clearly like it because I laugh every time. Is this gaslighting? Is this a deal breaker? Should I blow raspberries on his balls? Help.
I don't think that's definitely written by a guy. Oh, yeah.
The answer is yes, you should blow raspberries on his balls. Raspberries are funny, though.
They're funny. Yeah.
Makes a funny sound. You got to lighten the mood sometimes in the bedroom.
Yeah. Can't all be serious.
Also, he's sucking your licking your pussy. So let's not be, you know, beggars don't be choosers here.
You know, you could easily as a guy just not do that. You're looking gift horse right in the mouth.
All right. When with this one.
Sup, fellas. Yesterday, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot that he won two Friday tickets to the Masters next year.
He was all excited and then proceeded to tell me that he was not inviting me and was inviting his dad instead. Am I in the wrong for being upset for not getting the invite? The Masters is the most dad weekend of all time.
Yes. I did see because I think that happened today.
Everyone found out. I saw some screen shots.
I saw a very funny one where some girl was like, my dad got Masters tickets. Yeah, Claire.
My dad got Masters tickets. And now me and my siblings are all like, who's he going to take? And then she updated.
It was like update. My dad applied for a single because he thought that the masters would take charity on him because who would want to go by themselves.
And also he didn't want to have to pick one of us. So he's just going by himself.
Claire Rogers. Yeah.
Very funny. Total dudes rock move.
Also, the masters until very recently didn't allow women to be members there. So it's of it's a boys weekend yeah come on and it's a dad if it was like if he picked like a guy from work you have a right to be mad but your dad come on you have to uh okay good show that was great great show had a little of everything yeah great show hank you too i said i literally brought up because I didn't want to be contentious.
Great show. Had a little of everything.
Yeah. Great show, Hank.
You too.

I literally brought it up because I didn't want to be contentious.

He did give you a warning, so you can't. Oh, he would have found a way to make it.

In a court of law, you can't be upset what he said after the warning.

Okay.

Numbers?

Three.

69.

99.

Ooh.

Here we go.

PFT's watching. 16.
Ooh. Here we go.
PFT's watching.

16.

Ooh.

16.

LaShawn McCoy on Friday, and then it is Grit Week,

so everyone get ready.

Grit Week's coming.

Love you guys.

1, 2, 3. I'm the one I'm about to say I'm safe anyway Today's an update

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming

I'm coming I'm coming Take me, take me Take me, take me

Take me, let's just say

I'm upset in, but I'm feeling so

I'm let it wait

So I'm learning my mind is okay

Take me, I can't let it be

Take me, take me Take me, take me Take me, take me Thank you. Take on me.
Take on me. Take me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.