Joe Buck, Brian Harman Pissed Off All Of England, Mt Rushmore of Blue Things + Monday Reading

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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend, Joe Buck, back on the show. Awesome interview with Joe.
It had been too long, and we picked up like we had not missed a beat.

Speaker 1 He is, he is, I told him this in the interview. He is part of the fabric of Pardon My Take.
You can't tell the story of Pardon My Take without Joe Buck. He's that important to us.

Speaker 1 So it was a great interview with him.

Speaker 2 He's also become a little bit too likable recently, so we put him in his place. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So we sucked his dick and then we took it away.

Speaker 1 But we also have the Open Championship.

Speaker 1 Brian Harmon wins. We're going to talk about that.
What else happened over the weekend in the sports world? We have a Monday reading of who's back.

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Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I like the song of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 1 And then the candle game all on the sound. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric High Venue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric High.

Speaker 2 It's part of my take. It isn't about Marshall Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Monday, July 24th, and the boys are back together.
Let's go, boys. I have made the move.
move officially. We are all in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, not all of us, but the big four. Me, BFD, Hank, and Max is pretty big.
Max is huge, very large.

Speaker 2 Huge part of the show.

Speaker 1 But it's good.

Speaker 1 We made it through the summer of Zooms. So thank you to all the award-winning listeners.
We knew that there were times where it sucked because it's never as good when

Speaker 1 we're apart and we can't riff and we can't be together and chop it up.

Speaker 2 We like to see the pain in Hank's eyes when we bust his balls.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 2 Actually, I'll say this: Hank's sarcastic body language and the disrespectful faces that he makes when we're making fun of him, they don't hit the same overzone.

Speaker 1 They don't because he can also, he can zone out, and you know, he mutes his mic, and he just is watching like golf, you know, swing tips while we try to do the show. He's just thinking about golf.

Speaker 2 The screen monologue is just like a monkey dressed up in like a scallie cap, golf, swinging and golf. Golf.

Speaker 1 It's just a mini mini Hank just being like, golf.

Speaker 2 You should be golfing right now.

Speaker 1 Golf. Golf.
But yeah, we're back together. It feels good.
And speaking of golf, Brian. Oh, wait, what was that face? What the fuck? No, you got me thinking about golfing.

Speaker 1 Are you worried already? It's our fault. It's our fault.
You word already?

Speaker 2 We're making Hank take more time off work.

Speaker 1 Yes, life-life balance. But yes, the Open Championship was the

Speaker 1 sporting event of the weekend. Brian Harmon.
Shout out to all the Short Kings.

Speaker 2 Yeah, 5-7, bitch.

Speaker 1 Him getting out of that

Speaker 1 SUV, I can't speak. I also should just say I moved today.
I'm on hour like 18.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 my brain is bush. But yes, he getting out of that SUV, he looked like a mini Brian Harmon.

Speaker 2 It's almost like he needed the steps that you have for a dog to get up into a high car, for him to step out of that. He's 5'7.
He's 155 pounds.

Speaker 2 He's right-handed, but he plays left-handed.

Speaker 3 Love it.

Speaker 2 He's the Ben Simmons of golf.

Speaker 1 He also, that SUV clip when he popped out,

Speaker 1 I think that's going to be the new, when you go interview at an accounting firm or, you know, Wall Street, and they're like, how many Brian Harmons could fit in an escalate? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, that's what they're going to ask because.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 you're not allowed to ride up front, so that takes away at least three of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he needs a booster seat. But yes.

Speaker 1 I had no thoughts about Brian Harmon going into this tournament. Riggs did say top lefty,

Speaker 1 which some would say is a coward's pick because he won the whole thing. But either way, he did put us on to Brian Harmon in that respect.
I had no thoughts about him.

Speaker 1 I ended up the tournament being like, I hate watching this guy because of the waggle. But the fact that he pissed off England so much made me a Brian Harmon fan.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, he's 5'7. Again, he's a small guy.
As Kyle Long says, friend of the show, he plays beneath the wind, which is important, the opposite of your Bubba Watsons. Yep.
He was kind of...

Speaker 2 To be honest, kind of a boring champion, right? Like, we don't know that much about that.

Speaker 1 And he beat everyone by so much.

Speaker 2 He beat everyone by so much. No drama.

Speaker 2 The entire tournament was over, it felt like Saturday morning at like 6 a.m. when he started tuning.
It's like, okay, well, nobody's going to catch this guy.

Speaker 2 You thought maybe Fleetwood would have a little run, and Rahm went on a little run on Saturday.

Speaker 2 Scheffler played great today, but it was so far out of reach that all we can do is say congrats to Max Homa for finishing in the top 10 of a major in the first time in his entire career.

Speaker 2 That is the fifth major for Max. He crushed it.

Speaker 1 He crushed it. Yeah, but it was, Brian Harmon was just better than everyone, more consistent than everyone.
I think he broke the record in the British Open Open Championship for least amount of putts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He had 106.

Speaker 2 He made 58 out of 59 putts from within 10 feet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he made every single one within five, and he went 13 for 14 within 10.

Speaker 2 So when we play, we play Brian Harmon rules. It's like, if it's within 10 feet, I'm as good as Brian Harmon.

Speaker 1 Pick it up. Every 14th, you can give me, you can say I have to two-putt it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, then you'll miss by like 10 feet long, and then you have to come back and two-putt on the way back.

Speaker 1 He also also had, I think, six bogeys for the entire weekend, and four out of the six times, he birdied the next hole. So, Mr.
Consistency

Speaker 1 doesn't hit it a million miles because he's pretty short and just doesn't have that power.

Speaker 2 Well, some people, Rory's short.

Speaker 1 Rory is short, but he's got that power.

Speaker 1 Blocky had that power. Rory Loki.

Speaker 1 If Blocky had that power, it would have been his turn. Rory Loki has a dump on him.
Okay, can we talk about Rory real quick? Yeah. I'm off Rory.

Speaker 1 Officially. All right.
Well, I'm officially off.

Speaker 2 Now it's going to be 10 years going to next season, right? It's going to be 10 years. He'll never win a major championship.

Speaker 1 His answer pissed me off. So

Speaker 1 someone asked him after, said, you're going into your 10th year now without a major. Is that just what negative people like me think, or do you not think that way? And he said, I don't think that way.

Speaker 1 I think about trying to go and win a fourth FedEx here in a couple weeks. Go try and win a fifth race to Dubai.
Go and win a fifth Ryder Cup. I just keep looking forward.

Speaker 1 That, my friends, is loser talk. The next cup means nothing.
Nothing. It's your decision.
It's more money. It means

Speaker 1 that your legacy is defined by majors. No, that's all that matters.

Speaker 2 His legacy is defined by us. Well, yes.
Which is defined by majors.

Speaker 1 Just Carmelo talking about his gold medal as if it's like a big accomplishment. I like Rory.
He's a nice guy, but I saw that quote and I was like, that is just, he's just giving up.

Speaker 1 Like, that is, that's pathetic. Your majors, ask any golfer, majors are all that matters.
I would, that's a fact.

Speaker 2 I would like it if Rory just said, I'm just thinking about the Ryder Cup, because then I start to get amped up about the Ryder Cup. The FedEx thing, who gives a shit? What's the other one?

Speaker 2 The race to Dubai?

Speaker 1 The race to Dubai.

Speaker 2 Listen, I wake up in the morning every day thinking about something. The race to Dubai.

Speaker 2 I'm like, who's going to win the race to Dubai? Is it going to be Rory or is it going to be somebody else who's also competing in the race to Dubai?

Speaker 1 Is it a literal race? Like, are they racing cars to Dubai? It's a golf cart. Okay.
Everyone gets a golf cart.

Speaker 2 You get a golf cart, you start in Liverpool, and then you have to figure out how to get that golf cart to Dubai.

Speaker 1 He should have just gone full LeBron. Remember when LeBron cracked and was like, I'm richer than all of you? Yeah.
And I don't care what you think.

Speaker 2 That's also acceptable.

Speaker 1 Yes, I would have accepted that as an answer. Not the race to Dubai is what I'm worried about.
I think Rory. I just don't care about the

Speaker 1 10-year gap that I haven't been able to win a major.

Speaker 2 I think Rory can kiss his legacy, Dubai.

Speaker 1 That's what I think. Bang.

Speaker 2 Suck it, Rory.

Speaker 2 You know what I love about the Open is how all the fans there, if you attend an Open Championship, first of all, you got to be prepared to stand out in the worst weather known to man. Yep.

Speaker 2 And second of all, you get hit by so many golf balls. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The patrons get hit by way more golf balls at an open championship than any other tournament because the fairways are so fucked up and narrow.

Speaker 2 I think sometimes they don't even know they're like standing in the middle of a fairway, but they don't really realize it yet. And then just golf balls start drilling them.

Speaker 2 I feel like every golf shot that does not land in a clean, nice patch of grass ends up bouncing off somebody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's, I

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 the open just because the course like every course should have the bunkers that that england has because when you hit it in a bunker it should be punitive you should be you should be totally yeah and that's what happens in these i want pop bunkers in every golf course like that's it it should everything is harder and i like that um but yeah brian harmon he he channeled kirby smart uh he had a quote what was it it was something that he was like thinking that he he was in the shit last time.

Speaker 2 Like Kirby Smart inside a locker room before the game, screaming at people.

Speaker 1 Don't get hunted, go hunting.

Speaker 1 I was a wreck last night. This is Brian Harmon.
I was a wreck last night. This is talking about Saturday night, by the way, when he's got like, what do you have?

Speaker 2 A six-stroke lead? Five or six.

Speaker 1 Five or six. I was a wreck last night.
I mean, I've been a wreck the whole week, but I kept thinking about something Kirby Smart said. I'm not going to be hunted.

Speaker 1 I'm going to hunt, which is the most cliche.

Speaker 1 College football. How do I get these 18-year-olds like pumped up to go beat the shit out of Vanderbilt in week four speech ever? But Brian Harmon channeled it and won the Open Championship.

Speaker 2 I wonder if he was just smashing shit in his hotel room like Kirby does in a pregame speech. Just getting amped up.

Speaker 1 He seems kind of low-key. He also,

Speaker 1 the English, so the fans were giving him the business. They didn't like because they had Fleetwood and Roy McElroy like kind of hovering.
So obviously they're rooting for the hometown guys.

Speaker 1 No problem for that. Roy's from Northern Ireland.
Don't correct me. I know that.

Speaker 1 But the fans were giving him the business. They also,

Speaker 1 the British press was giving him this. This is when I turned into a Brian Harmon fan because it felt personal.
It felt like a U.S. versus England situation.

Speaker 1 They wrote this about Brian Harmon, who is a hunter, actually a hunter.

Speaker 1 He said, they wrote, in one of the more bizarre major press conference departures of recent times, the 36-year-old explained his penchant for killing animals.

Speaker 1 He missed a cut at the masters and immediately slaughtered a pig and a turkey. That rocks.
I've been a hunter my entire life, he boasted. I enjoy the strategy of it.

Speaker 1 We eat a lot of wild meat at my house, so I enjoy butchering and I do a lot of hunting. Champions traditionally drink from the claret jug.

Speaker 1 One is left to ponder what on earth Harmon may do with the famous trophy.

Speaker 2 He's going to go pheasant hunting.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? What does that fuck does that mean?

Speaker 2 What's he going to go elk hunting on the king's land and kill one of the royal stags and they're going to kill him?

Speaker 1 No. Like,

Speaker 2 listen, to he's going to fill it up he's from georgia right he's going to fill it with beer moonshine yeah he's going to drink some moonshine of the claret jug and good for him if he gets crazy he's going to put a peach cobbler in it british people they try to act like they're above hunting yeah over there do you know how they hunt in england it's way worse than the united states in england when you go on a hunt you have to buy a license and you use foxes to go out there and then chase uh sorry you you get hounds to go chase the foxes and you get these hounds to like rip the foxes limb from limb right and then you come in and then you shoot them with with like a gun or a bow and arrow at the last minute it's way worse way worse and brian harmony is actually a bow hunter which that that rocks yeah like that actually it seems a little bit more you know even playing field when you're bow hunting versus shooting a a uh deer with like a a military grade scope and sniper rifle i just when i saw that i was like fuck this fuck england I want him to win.

Speaker 1 I want him to be boring, short, all these things, right in your fucking face. And he did it.
So

Speaker 1 I don't think I'm a Brian Harmon fan. I think I'm just a fan of the fact that he won that in their face, in Fleetwood and McElroy's face, and also won it and made it so boring how he won it.

Speaker 1 He was kicking ass.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, it's good to see an American win the open. Yeah, I just like it.
It makes people squirm.

Speaker 1 I also...

Speaker 2 Did you see what he does to practice his putting? How he got so good at putting it in the middle of the shoe

Speaker 1 or spaceship putter. That's enormous.

Speaker 2 Well, he's got the moonship putter but he also he bought one of those goofy golf gadgets for like 50 bucks the ones that you see in infomercials where it's like a mirror that you practice your putting on and so anybody can buy it and he says that he's had it for years and i'm a big fan of the junk science golf gadgets and you can find one for anything that they've got like golf balls that dangle off your nose that teach you to keep your head straight they've got all these sticks that people bring out onto the range and god knows where they put them when they're trying to work on certain elements of the swing he just bought like this putter thing that's got a mirror where you can watch the blade of your putter go over it to make sure that it's straight.

Speaker 2 He's like, yeah, I paid 50 bucks for this thing and now I'm the best putter in the world.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 I think we have to, they don't sell those in England. They don't sell these like crazy infomercial.
I doubt England even has infomerphies. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have somehow talked ourselves into being Brian Harmon fans. The last thing I had about him was his title sponsor, Megacorp.
Yeah, who knows what that is?

Speaker 1 It's a freighting company. I looked it up.
It was like, this sounds badass, but I'll just say this, Megacorp.

Speaker 1 You do more than freighting. Yeah.
There's no way. Like, that's the coolest name for a company ever.
Megacorp.

Speaker 2 I saw Megacorp and I was like, this is a company that Superman is trying to stop from taking over the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think Megacorp probably is a little upset they got this much publicity because people are going to be onto them now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like you don't name a company Megacorp and just drive some trucks around.

Speaker 2 If you're Megacorp, there's a reason why you don't sponsor a Brooks Kepka or a Rory McElroy or a Tiger Woods. You're trying to fly into the radar a little bit.
Megacorp. They're freighting, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they have to ship. I wonder what they ship.
They had to wash some of their money with Brian Harmon

Speaker 1 sponsorship.

Speaker 2 This sounds like it, yeah. El Chapa was also into shipping and freighting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would like to work for Megacorp. I'll say it right now.
Megacorp sounds like the cool. Like, imagine handing your business card to someone and it says your name Megacorp.

Speaker 2 Does it have the word of MegaCorp? Does it have like a picture of the Earth?

Speaker 1 Like MegaCorp Global?

Speaker 1 I just.

Speaker 1 If you name your company Megacorp, at some point in the history of your company you will try to destroy the earth yeah and I I'm saying all this I'm somewhat bashing megacorp and it's 100% from a place of jealousy because whatever guy decided to call it megacorp that guy rocks that's a total dude dude's rock moment like they were probably drunk as fuck guys sounds like cocaine yeah probably cocaine what if we call our company megacorp what are we gonna do we're gonna be fucking mega yeah we're gonna take over the world yeah we're fucking mega world corporation oh wait that's it that's sick.

Speaker 2 A light bulb goes off.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 whoever created Megacorp, I tip my cap to you because you guys are doing something right. You got to Megacorp before anyone else could.

Speaker 2 I feel like the finance department, like the CFO of Megacorp, is really, really scared right now because he's got some tax evasion schemes that have not even sniffed the light of day yet.

Speaker 2 And now people are going to be looking into him. He's got a whole room of shady guys.
They're just cooking the books.

Speaker 1 I just, I assume that Megacorp, all their meetings, they just sit there and they're like what if we just do it mega which actually sounds like partial sports but whatever yeah mega let's go mega megacorp mega corp logistics yes well

Speaker 2 all right so so we're we're doing this in sales what if we just what if we just made it mega yeah megacorp so when you when you search for megacorp on google the first thing that comes up is megacorp logistics their website and then it has about us and then the second thing is professional golfer Brian Harmon.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 They essentially just serve to fund Brian Harmon's career. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Megacorp. I'd be so mad if the Megacorp CEO isn't killing all types of fucking crazy big game hunting in Africa.
Megacorp's got to be doing everything as large as possible.

Speaker 1 Megacorp could go to the moon. I'd trust Megacorp to go to the moon or to Mars before SpaceX.

Speaker 2 We strive to offer the best to our clients, transportation partners, and employees. It's the mega way.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's awesome.
Mega Corp. I think we should be.

Speaker 1 We should get mega with it.

Speaker 1 I think we should honestly be like, we will stop doing this podcast if they gave us jobs at Megacorp. I'm Mega.

Speaker 1 Are you Mega? To just be like, yeah, I work at Megacorp. What do you do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you work for the CIA? Well, I work for Megacorp.

Speaker 2 If you're applying for a home loan, you just have to write down Mega Corp under employer, and then the rest takes care of itself.

Speaker 1 Don't ask anybody.

Speaker 2 All right, sir. Enough said.

Speaker 1 Here's your house. And no

Speaker 1 actual thought into the logo or anything. It literally was just a hat that said Megacorp.
I thought at first it was a joke.

Speaker 2 They spent all their money on the name.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if it felt like a joke, like put your ad here. Like Brian Harmon can't get any advertising.
So he's like, look, this could be you, Megacorp. And then I Googled it.
I was like, shit.

Speaker 1 Genuine mega.

Speaker 1 Yeah. These guys are fucking killing it.
That's the catch.

Speaker 1 Absolutely killing it.

Speaker 2 Dude, let's get mega with it.

Speaker 1 I want Megacorp, come do some ad deals with us.

Speaker 2 We got some mega segments coming. We got a mega interview with Joe Buck coming.

Speaker 1 We have a mega, mega, mega. Grit week is going to be so grit.
Mega Corp should let us fucking do grit week out of the back of one of their 18 wheelers.

Speaker 2 We should just call it grit week mega.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or mega grit.
Yeah, mega grit. Oh, I think that's it.
I think it's mega grit. Mega grit.
This is the mega grit. Yeah, mega grit.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Brian Harmon, Mega Corp, way to go, dude.

Speaker 2 We're going to say the word mega like a million times over the next year.

Speaker 1 I had one last thing, hypothetical, throwing it out there. Obviously, winning a major is major.
It's mega.

Speaker 1 But Brian Harmon before this basically had a dream life. I didn't realize this because I'm not the most tuned-in golf guy.

Speaker 1 He had made $30 million in his career. He made the FedEx, whatever it is, the thing that Rory only cares about.
The race to Dubai? Yeah, the race to the tour.

Speaker 6 By the way, the race to Dubai is

Speaker 6 the road to European tours top spot.

Speaker 5 And right now?

Speaker 2 That makes no sense. Just from a directional standpoint.

Speaker 1 Right now.

Speaker 2 How do you get to be the king of Europe by going to the point of the world?

Speaker 6 He has 4,900 points. John Robinson second with 2,600.

Speaker 1 So Rory's already want to double them up. This would be like if Shohei was like, yeah, I got more important things getting in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I want to maybe do a rehab stint in AAA and hit for the cycle. Yeah.
Okay, dude. Awesome.

Speaker 2 Rory's like, I'm concerned about the race to Dubai. He's saying that basically from Baghdad.
He's like, okay, go. Yeah.
Betch, I'll beat beat you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But wait, what were he talking about? Oh, Brian Harmon. Brian Harmon had the perfect life because he made $30 million playing golf.

Speaker 1 He even said, like, this is, you know, finding something that you can lose time doing it is the key to being happy, which, you know, that's why Hank golfs all the time.

Speaker 1 He just forgets that he has meetings and stuff. He loses time.
Either way,

Speaker 1 you think there's a small part of him that's like, ah, I kind of liked being under the radar. Now people are going to start calling me short.
Expectation. Megacorp.

Speaker 1 Expectation. $30 million is a lot of money to make as a professional athlete and be completely anonymous.

Speaker 2 So what did he make today, like $4 million? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he is obviously...

Speaker 2 What's the tax rate? Any state income tax in England?

Speaker 1 No. That's why he went to war.
That's why we left. Yeah, good point.

Speaker 1 I don't think you have to claim any of that. I just...
He did have the perfect life. And he probably won't become some big star, but still,

Speaker 1 like, he had a completely anonymous life playing professional golf, making a lot of money.

Speaker 2 Well, in a situation like this, you have a decision to legend forever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he is.

Speaker 2 It's like on that Saturday, you get a big lead.

Speaker 2 You're either going to be known as an open champion, which would be good, but it does come with all those expectations, or you will be known as a guy that absolutely choked away the open champion.

Speaker 2 And that's worse. That's the only thing, like, it's a little bit worse.
Finishing in second place would have been great for him.

Speaker 2 I'm sure he would say, like, yeah, I'm glad that I won, but second place, that way you really do get to get away with never having to accomplish anything like special.

Speaker 2 It's just like, I've got a great life. I play golf.
I go to every University of Georgia game that I can. Right.
And I'm a millionaire, and nobody knows about me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, and I can just go hunt and just live my life. But yeah, that moment that Saturday night when he's like, well, this can go one of two ways now.
And then he has to close his eyes and think of

Speaker 1 an even shorter bull haircut man getting in his face, grabbing his face mask, and saying he's going to take away his scholarship. And that's how he went and won the Open Championship.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You think if you lived in Brian Harmon's hometown before this tournament, you would.

Speaker 1 Is it small?

Speaker 2 I don't know, somewhere in Georgia. Somebody walks you past his house.
It's like.

Speaker 1 Because I know about those small towns in Georgia. Yeah, you heard about those? Like Macon?

Speaker 1 Try that in Liverpool.

Speaker 2 So somebody walks you past his house and says, that's Brian Harmon's house. Your reaction is, oh, okay.
Yeah. I guess he's probably a pretty good golfer.
Now it's like, that's Brian Harmon's house.

Speaker 2 Now people are like, how do I rob it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. How do I rob that place? Well, then the guy in the back is like, no, dude, he works for mega security.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't rob that.

Speaker 2 There's actually mega security.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That Jason Aldean controversy was peak. Everyone's way too much online.
Yeah. Like, what are people even debating?

Speaker 1 It was, I was, I love, I love when I have been able to selectively, and it's more because I have other shit going on in my life, but selectively like stay a little bit above.

Speaker 1 the controversies I have no interest in where I just read a little bit about it, but don't actually understand what people are arguing about.

Speaker 1 So you can kind of sit back and just laugh about the whole thing.

Speaker 2 Jason Aldean was basically like, I want to kill everybody that I disagree with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of people were like, hey, I disagree with him.

Speaker 2 You got a lot of people to kill now, Jason.

Speaker 2 You made a lot of work for yourself, buddy.

Speaker 1 We got some guys in New Mexico who could make that for you. That was the other controversy I loved this week of people being like, there were no women in Oppenheimer.
Oh, there were women.

Speaker 1 People of color. And it's like, well, like, and then there was one person who had an entire thread about,

Speaker 1 which sucked this whole story about how they took over the New Mexico land and pushed a bunch of farmers off the land and like how the history doesn't tell that and it was horrific and it is horrific, but the bomb was killed a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Like that was wait till you get to the end of the movie.

Speaker 1 That part is pretty bad, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was Oppenheimer was very good, not great. It was funny.
So me and Jake went golfing today. Hank didn't come along because he wasn't here, but you were talking about how much he golfed.

Speaker 2 We played at this one course, and I swear to God, like seven people that we saw there came up to us and said, Oh, yeah, Hank plays here. And so Hank's played up at this course.

Speaker 1 He's been in Chicago for a month now.

Speaker 2 And he's played at this course so much that every person that works there knows Hank.

Speaker 1 Half the golfers that are up there are like, Yeah, I've played with Hank before. Shout out to Harborside.
I mean, you can shout him out at least.

Speaker 1 Are we going to have a problem getting you back to Mega Corp this fall? No, I've told you a million years ago.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm living in fucking

Speaker 1 groundhog day. But it's going to be tough to get you back to Megacorp.
court. I'm ready.
We don't have an office.

Speaker 2 You've made so many friends at all these courses, huh?

Speaker 1 Again, like it's a good idea. Where are we sitting right now? Is it my fault that I'm a friendly guy?

Speaker 1 Am I being besmirched for being a friendly, easy-going? They're going to think that you're dead. They're like, I haven't seen Hank in two weeks.

Speaker 1 Call the cops.

Speaker 2 Get the marshal over here.

Speaker 1 Can I gol Wednesday? Yeah, you can golf any day you want. They told me you're taking the whole summer off.
I know, but I'm just asking.

Speaker 1 We're inching closer to August. Like,

Speaker 1 at at some point. Once we have an office, I'll be there.
This is like, you know what it is? PFT and I are in a relationship with Hank. You just got

Speaker 1 him and we sent him

Speaker 1 away. We sent him to Real World, and he calls us the first night.
He's like, I don't even like any of these chicks here. Like, it's fine.
Like, I won't cheat on you guys.

Speaker 1 And then after a couple weeks, like, wait, he's not calling us anymore. And now I think we're in trouble.

Speaker 1 I don't come back to reality.

Speaker 1 The world is not real world. I told you guys exactly what I was was doing.
You guys are like, yes, that makes so much sense. You work so hard.
You deserve to take a little bit of time.

Speaker 1 But you love being retired. You don't have an office, so you can't even go there, so it makes complete sense.
Do this thing. I'm just worried that Hank's making so much

Speaker 1 friends. I'm getting worried.
I am.

Speaker 2 You're making so many friends, though, Hank. You know so many more people than us now.

Speaker 1 You just, you're out there. I'm out.
I'm out in the streets.

Speaker 2 Does anybody make you laugh like we do?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when you guys aren't being mean to me, chastising my entire livelihood. All right,

Speaker 1 what else happened this weekend?

Speaker 2 We have an update on the running back situation.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 They had a Zoom call. So

Speaker 2 the running backs, they continue to radicalize themselves. They got together via Zoom, which we all know that works really well when you're trying to do anything business related.

Speaker 2 Cleveland Browns running back, Nick Chubb, confirmed Sunday he participated in the call, said Saquon Barkley, Derrick Henry, and Christian McCaffrey were also in the meeting.

Speaker 2 So, sorry, it wasn't called the meeting. Josh Jacobs also took a part.
A source told ESPN's Jeremy Fowler.

Speaker 2 PFT, first report of the news, that's Pro Football Talk, said the meeting was organized by Austin Eckler, who has been outspoken about running backs not being paid their true worth.

Speaker 2 And Nick Chubb said, right now, there's really nothing we can do. We kind of handcuffed with the situation.
We're the only position where our production hurts the most.

Speaker 2 So if we go out and we run for 2,000 yards with so many carries, the next year, they're going to say, you're probably worn down. It's tough.
It hurts us at the end of the day.

Speaker 2 So basically, they got on a Zoom call and they're like, this sucks. And then everyone was like, this sucks.

Speaker 2 And then they raised their hand and somebody says, there's really not a lot we can do about it. And then everybody was like, yeah, this sucks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would be pissed if they

Speaker 1 basically we spent an entire week being like, you know how bad it sucks to be a running back? And then on top of that, all the running backs said, hey, let's do a meeting on Zoom.

Speaker 2 On a Sunday.

Speaker 1 Shoot me in the middle. Let's do a meeting.

Speaker 2 Listen, that meeting could have been an email. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It could have just been people sending me a news. Text message.

Speaker 2 This sucks. Yeah.
Just a text message. And then everybody emphasizes that.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. That's all.
That's all you have to say. It sucks.
Oh, damn. Another one of our guys didn't get paid.

Speaker 2 So we talked about it last week, about how there should not be a franchise tag for the running back position.

Speaker 2 But then I thought more about it, and I actually talked to Arian about it because Arian has real-life lived experience with the franchise tag and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 There really shouldn't be a franchise tag in general.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's the only way. They would never be able to do it just for running backs because all the other positions would be pissed.
But that's a NFL PA problem. Yes.

Speaker 1 They have fucked it up because we've gone through this

Speaker 1 when they threaten to strike. People need football.
Yeah. But the show goes on.
No, there's violence.

Speaker 2 There's violence when there's no football. Ray Lewis.

Speaker 1 Ray Lewis didn't say that. But yeah, no, the franchise tag should be gone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I started to think about the franchise tag because it's something that's become so just natural to talk about and part of the game.

Speaker 2 And for all the all the capologists out there that start to work out, okay, here's who we need to cut. Here's who we need to pay.
We can tag this guy.

Speaker 2 It becomes like part of the lore of talking about football. But from a logical standpoint, there's really no no reason why the franchise tag should even be a thing at all.

Speaker 1 You know, it's either there should be no franchise tag or they should make the franchise tag

Speaker 1 not punitive to the cap, but you have to pay the person $50 million.

Speaker 2 For any position.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for any position. $50 million flat, not punitive to the, so it's essentially like, we can't figure out a deal.
We want you so bad. Here's so much money that you won't be upset about it.

Speaker 2 Tax-free. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tax-free.
No punishment. And then you have to also go mine some asteroids in outer space and save the world.
Yeah, sure. Tax-free.

Speaker 2 Whatever, it's tax-free. But $50 million cash solves a lot of problems.
Yeah. But it is, it's weird that there's a franchise tag.
I don't really understand.

Speaker 2 I think what the players should do, they should say, we'll let you test us for weed again if you can take the franchise tag away.

Speaker 1 No touchdown celebrations.

Speaker 2 No touchdown celebrations. Yeah.
You remember that?

Speaker 2 Because the owners in the NFL, they pretend to to care about like all these different weird parts of the game, but they just do it so they can use it as a leverage chip in the the negotiations.

Speaker 2 Like, do you think that Jerry Jones gave a fuck if any of his players smoked weed? I mean, he was the owner when Michael Irvin was on the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 2 They don't give a shit if the players smoke weed, but they pretended to care about it for like 20 years because they knew, okay, the players will give us something valuable if we take away the weed test.

Speaker 2 Right. But still, players should just be like, okay,

Speaker 1 what about this?

Speaker 2 Give them the 18th game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 18th game and no franchise tag. And a 19th game.
And a 19th game. Yeah.
By the the way. And there should be football every day.

Speaker 1 No, it really does come down to the NFLPA.

Speaker 1 It's probably the weakest of the entire professional sports. I mean, think about what the NBA is able to do with their players' union.

Speaker 1 We need football.

Speaker 2 The NFLPA, their only leverage is to threaten a strike, but there's so many players on an NFL roster where, yeah, okay, it's easy for a quarterback or like a highly paid pass rusher to strike, but there's so many guys that are making like, what, $500,000, 400,000?

Speaker 2 Non-guaranteed. Non-guaranteed season to season.
And they're like, well, I really need to maximize the next four years of my life. Right.
So I'd like to spend one of those years playing football.

Speaker 1 I empathize with the players because it sucks, but I also don't, I'm part of the problem because I need football. You know what we should do? So badly.

Speaker 2 Go fund me for running backs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And, but only NFL quarterbacks are allowed to contribute.

Speaker 1 Didn't we?

Speaker 1 Me and Brick Watch will do a small business to NFL running backs. That'd be nice.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We need to do something about this.

Speaker 1 We should.

Speaker 6 We need a GoFundMe for someone for like scoring a touchdown, hypothetically. Maybe it was a guest.
It was over the football season. I'll have to look back.

Speaker 2 I don't know, but we should just shame quarterbacks into doing a GoFundMe for the running backs. Yeah.
Yeah. That's what shame is the most powerful motivator.

Speaker 1 They should just stop blocking for the quarterbacks.

Speaker 6 DK Metcalf celebration fine.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right.

Speaker 2 So if he was,

Speaker 2 we dared him to do the ole miss lift your leg and piss dog celebration from the Egg Bowl. And if he had done that, then we were going to pay his fine, but he didn't get a touchdown that week.

Speaker 1 Also, just aside notice, this is DK Metcalf and

Speaker 1 that interview he did where he's like, Yeah, I eat one meal a week and then I have, or one meal a day, and then I have five bags of candy.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, dude.

Speaker 2 You shouldn't be able to look like that eating five bags of candy a day.

Speaker 1 That's not fair.

Speaker 1 That's not right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's trolling. DK's a trolling.

Speaker 1 But I bet you, there's some guys who just have that type of metabolism genetics.

Speaker 2 What kind of bag of candy are we talking about?

Speaker 1 So much to be that big, I feel like. I wouldn't know.
Oh, Chad O'Jacingo just eats McDonald's every meal. Chad O'Jacingo isn't fucking.

Speaker 1 No, he's so huge. He's jacked up.
Some guys just have it. God's gift.

Speaker 2 I can't write. I can't wait for DK to get so fat when he's like 30 years old.
He's just going to be a whale.

Speaker 1 He's not, but yeah. No, he waits.

Speaker 2 He's going to stop running. He's like a greyhound.

Speaker 2 Once they stop racing, they just want to lay on the couch and eat candy all day. Yeah.

Speaker 6 By the way, if you guys want to get excited, it's the last week without football.

Speaker 1 What? The Hall of Fame game is next Thursday.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, Jake, I love that sentence still.

Speaker 1 10 days.

Speaker 2 I don't want to know

Speaker 2 10 days?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't want to bring up bad sentence.

Speaker 2 Wait, Jake, that's more than... What?

Speaker 6 This is the last week without football.

Speaker 1 We're entering the last week without football.

Speaker 2 But you just said...

Speaker 2 Oh, I thought you said this is the last weekend without football. No, no, last week.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, this is last week.

Speaker 6 Okay, football's back.

Speaker 1 I just imagine Hank reading, because

Speaker 1 anyone on Twitter right now is doing the countdown, and I love them all.

Speaker 1 My friend Stucky said, seven weeks from now, right at this time, you'll be placing a wager on Sunday night football after barely escaping the first week of NFL and the full slate.

Speaker 1 I read that and I get so excited. Hank reads that and he's like, it's over.
Retirement is over. Countdown is worse.
You just must hate that.

Speaker 1 I get so excited when it when when seven weeks is so doable that's nothing i saw that today too and i did i was on the plane i was like that's nothing yeah what the you're you are

Speaker 1 gotta get some golfing yeah there needs to be back to football shopping for guys

Speaker 1 back to school shopping for kids it really is the reverse of the the dread you would get as a as a kid in august when you'd be watching something on tv and all of a sudden like back to school shopping get your you know pencils and

Speaker 1 and your folders. You're like, fuck.

Speaker 6 There's definitely like a college student Sunday ticket deal, like a few weeks leading up to the season.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, it's coming.
It's coming for sure. There's, uh, if you listen to this episode of Part of My Take, by the time it's over, you will be two hours closer to football.
That's facts.

Speaker 2 That's how time works.

Speaker 1 That's facts. Okay, what else? Anything else before who's back?

Speaker 1 Let's get into who's back. Let's get into who's back.

Speaker 7 The pro football football show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 7 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

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Speaker 1 Hank, who's back of the week?

Speaker 2 Well, who's back of the week is Messi.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Back big time.

Speaker 1 Our guys. It's my hometown team.
Jake's hometown team, Inter Miami.

Speaker 2 I fucking hate MLS team names. Yeah.
Inter Miami.

Speaker 1 Although the pink goal nets are cool.

Speaker 2 Listen, I love the entire aesthetic of Inter Miami. I love entering Miami every time I go there.
But it's just the team names are stupid when it's like Inter Miami, Rayal, Salt Lake. Yeah.

Speaker 1 FC Sporting Casey. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Give me a fucking break.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Messi is the GOAT. Yeah.
Hit a walk-off PK. That was the one.
That's basically a PK.

Speaker 2 It was neither a walk-off nor a PK.

Speaker 1 It was a walk-off goal

Speaker 1 basically as time expired.

Speaker 2 An added time? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Did they even line back up after?

Speaker 2 Maybe like just to start it? Yeah, you have to kick off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That poor guy who was laying underneath the wall was so funny. Oh, yeah.
They had

Speaker 1 made a wall

Speaker 1 because everyone jumps. So there was a guy laying on the ground.
So he's just laying on the ground as Messi just puts a perfect ball into the top left corner. And storybook.

Speaker 2 That guy's job is so funny, too, because his entire reason for being there is just to lie down and then maybe get hit by the ball if they kick it low.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the best case scenario is he gets hit in the nuts. Yeah.
He stops a goal.

Speaker 2 Hockey guy would never do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Messi, though, he's the fucking best. He's the goat.

Speaker 2 He is. And Beckham was there when he checked in.
Yeah. Just

Speaker 2 all the stars were out.

Speaker 1 Braun. Bronnie.
Serena Williams. Hugging him.

Speaker 6 I think Kim Kardashian was there. Kim Kardashian.

Speaker 1 Serena Kardashian.

Speaker 2 Oh, Tom Brady was probably there too, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Yeah.
I can see him there.

Speaker 2 I actually checked his stories. He was.
Probably with Kim K.

Speaker 1 I know I've shouted this guy out before. We should go follow him, Chung Fan.
He's on Twitter. He does great threads about just random things,

Speaker 1 business, everything, sports. But I remember one that I read a few years ago about Messi that he wrote, how Messi is elite at walking.

Speaker 1 He's the greatest walker of all time because he actually would get criticized for it. And they did a whole study about it.

Speaker 1 And he spends the first five minutes, he's never ever scored a goal in the first two minutes of a game.

Speaker 1 He spends the first five minutes just walking around, just basically figuring out the weaknesses, weak points in the defense. And a lot of times he'll be walking while everyone else is running.

Speaker 1 And his gravity, the way that the defense has to

Speaker 1 move around to him just walking, changes the whole scope of the game. He's an elite walker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he walks with purpose. Yeah.
And he's very efficient. He doesn't waste energy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Messi is the GOAT.

Speaker 1 That was a sick moment. Even for soccer haters like you, Hank.

Speaker 2 Can I nitpick Messi real quick?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can we tuck in her shirt? No, that's what are we, what are we doing here, Messi? He's just MLS. Try to show this.
He's the MLS.

Speaker 2 He should have his shirt tucked in.

Speaker 1 You don't have to tuck in for the MLS. That's a fact.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a shitty golf course. Yeah.

Speaker 1 To put it in Hank's turn? I'm pretty sure they have to give those shirts back after the night so they can wash them. They only get one.

Speaker 1 It's like your mom being like, where's your jersey? Right before the game. Yeah.
I told you to put it in the laundry.

Speaker 2 yeah they are sick uniforms so I like that I like the inner Miami look yeah okay good who's back

Speaker 2 my who's back of the week is the Houston Oilers yeah the Houston Oilers are back the Tennessee Titans unveiled their throwback uniforms and you might be saying wait Tennessee they've only had a team for what the last

Speaker 2 12 years 13 years and you'd be right so the throwbacks are actually the Houston oilers uniforms which is very disrespectful to the city of Houston yeah if I was a Houstonite Houstonian,

Speaker 2 I would be so pissed off. You should not be allowed to wear another.

Speaker 2 If you go, if you move your team to a different city, you can take those colors. I get that.
But you can never actually put on the Houston Oilers uniform.

Speaker 1 And they're iconic.

Speaker 2 You're neither Houston nor Oilers. Yes.
And they're iconic. They're great.
Will Levis does look nice in the jersey, though.

Speaker 1 Ryan Danhill does not look tough.

Speaker 2 Does not look tough in the jersey.

Speaker 1 They've worn those before, though.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it sucks. It sucks.
There's nothing about Tennessee that's oily, except for the business.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like the jazz, Utah Jazz. Will Compton shits.

Speaker 2 Yeah, very oily. Very oily.

Speaker 1 Terry's

Speaker 1 on tear. Yeah.
Very oily.

Speaker 1 These uniforms are incredible, though.

Speaker 2 They're great uniforms. I mean, I love them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just. I love that we finally are getting back to some of these throwbacks.
I think the Eagles are finally doing Kelly Green.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the Pops are wearing the Patriots are doing the blue ones, too.

Speaker 2 They're wearing the blue and silver. They're wearing the Pat the Patriots along the way.

Speaker 1 Oh, you mean the middle ones? I think so.

Speaker 1 Not the Pat the Patriots.

Speaker 2 No, they are wearing the Pat the Patriots.

Speaker 1 But he's talking about

Speaker 1 the 90s. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right. That was it.
The Scott Zolak era.

Speaker 1 Old jerseys, like, I don't know what it was, but something happened in the last 10 years where they've just dulled every jersey and made because they all kind of look the same.

Speaker 1 And if you go back, even, you know, the Bucs,

Speaker 1 all these jerseys just popped so much more. They were so unique and cool.

Speaker 2 They are going to wear the cream skills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. This is going to be awesome.
I want all of it. I want all these.

Speaker 1 That should be. The Bucs should always wear their cream skulls.
The Eagles should always wear Kelly Green. The Texans should get the Oilers.
The Seahawks throwbacks are awesome.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Seawards should wear the powder blues every single day.

Speaker 1 The Colts. Colts tried.
They tried.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Falcons should always wear the Deion Sanders. You guys are Colts fans, though.
We are Colts. Yeah, no, they tried.
Said they tried.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that's the nicest way to put whatever the fuck those jerseys are.

Speaker 2 Hang the banner up. We tried to redesign our logo and we failed we failed

Speaker 2 But yeah, I love throwbacks of any sort Yeah, I really do I just I feel for for Houston on this one because it's just like kicking dirt in their face the only way that the Titans should be allowed to wear these it's like wear it to my face.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they should have to wear those in Houston playing against the Texans

Speaker 2 match the Texans get the chance to whoop their ass wearing those jerseys and then reclaim those Yeah, it should be a retirement match.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 All the way I do love throwbacks for anything though.

Speaker 1 It's also crazy that we're getting into the throwbacks that I remember vividly people hating when they were real. Like the Pistons have worn their

Speaker 1 90s.

Speaker 2 The one with the horse on it, the Grant Hill.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Grizzlies.
People thought the Grizzlies' jerseys were weird when they first came out, the Vancouver Grizzlies. Now you look back and you're like, oh, those actually are sick.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Think about the ugliest styles that are out right now.
In 20 years,

Speaker 2 your kids are going to be wearing those and they're going to think they look awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But at least they took chances in these throwbacks.

Speaker 1 I would love to see the evolution of the jerseys and the logos because it does feel like every jersey became kind of the same variation of like matte colored and just

Speaker 1 almost uniform across the board where they all kind of look the same. These ones are just, these throwbacks all are so unique and awesome.

Speaker 2 You know what it was? In the late 90s, the world thought that it was in the future already. Right.
We thought, oh, it's the year 2000.

Speaker 2 We're basically aliens that have mastered all forms of technology. Yes.

Speaker 2 We're going to make these crazy ass designs like the Pistons logo, like the wizards when they unveiled that weird angular wizard that looked like, I don't know, like a hologram of a pedophile from Harry Potter.

Speaker 2 Those things were at the time like, whoa, this is space age as fuck. Look how cool our technology is.

Speaker 2 And then by the time the mid-2000s rolled around, we're like, our technology is actually way better than it was back then, and those look like dog shit. So we're just going to dial it back.

Speaker 2 So the jerseys we have now were a byproduct of like the late 2000s, which were a reaction to the jerseys of the late 90s.

Speaker 2 Maybe it'll swing the other way soon. But right now, we're still kind of stuck in that, let's be really conservative with our redesigns.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want some crazy shit. I want some cool colors.
Okay, My Who's Back? I have two. One is Aaron Rodgers, who looks great.
I don't know if you guys saw, but the... Their jerseys stink, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they do. Is his helmet...

Speaker 2 Has his head gotten bigger or did his helmet get smaller?

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing. He did.

Speaker 2 Because his chin is like poking out the bottom of it.

Speaker 2 It looks like it's a target.

Speaker 1 Now, I'm an Aaron Rodgers defender now. I flipped, but we also have to remember the man lived in the state of Wisconsin for 20 years and then he moved.
He's going to lose a little weight.

Speaker 1 That's just a fact. He's going to lose a little bit of weight.
So he lost a little bit of weight, but I think he looks great. People are saying he looks too skinny.

Speaker 1 I think he looks just perfect, just the way he is.

Speaker 2 Because it felt like for a while in Green Bay, his helmet was getting bigger every season. He was probably doing it as like a joke or a troll that only he understood.

Speaker 1 Hilarious, by the way, now that I'm looking back, he

Speaker 2 increased it by a quarter inch every single year until it got the size of basically a NASA helmet. And now it just, it looks like it's a kid's helmet.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It looks like one of those helmets that you get to eat ice cream out of at Baskin Robbins.

Speaker 1 He looks fresh and ready to go. You should be worried about him, Hank.
Yeah. He's a bad man.
Speaking of who's back and our bet, Aaron Rodgers, Deshaun Watson, you should be worried about him.

Speaker 1 Oh, that five-yard throw.

Speaker 1 Did you see it?

Speaker 2 Big cat, did you really watch it, though? Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, Deshaun Watson at Browns Training Camp walked to the sidelines, casually as can be, fired an absolute missile into the practice throwing net, hit the center target like butter.

Speaker 2 One of the best five-yard throws you'll ever see in your life.

Speaker 1 It might have been five feet.

Speaker 1 It was crazy,

Speaker 2 it was up to five yards long. Yeah, he captioned making it look easy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He told me. I told you they were trolling because that's funny.
If they were, I don't think they were.

Speaker 2 He did make it look easy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He did. He made it look very easy.

Speaker 1 My other who's back is bunk beds. So I moved into my new house today.
My son has a bunk bed, and I did not realize bunk bed technology has gotten insane.

Speaker 1 He has bunk beds with like a legit staircase on the side of it. Hank, it's fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 I saw this thing thing and I got jealous of something that my four-year-old has that I bought with my own money. And I was like, fuck you, dude.
I want this bunk bed. Look at this shit.

Speaker 1 This is exactly, this is, I found it online. Look at that.
And he just walks up the stairs.

Speaker 1 And of course, he was just flaunting in my face, just walking back. He was like, look at me.
I can go up and down the stairs. Right in my face, Stella was going up and down the stairs.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck this. It used to be a ladder.
It used to be like you basically,

Speaker 1 if one of your friends had bunk beds, you were going to get hurt.

Speaker 1 And like, at no point was it going to be a safe thing because, you know, you'd wrestle and then you push each other off the bunk bed and all that shit.

Speaker 2 I dare you to jump off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And it was always either

Speaker 1 the thin little ladder. You miss a rung when you're walking down when you're getting like when you're a little hazy in the morning.
Bunk beds used to be dangerous.

Speaker 1 Now they just fucking rock and it's a queen bed underneath.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How's that?

Speaker 1 And then someone showed me someone because I tweeted this and people were replying and they were talking about what they bought for their kids. There's bunk beds with slides.
Legitimate slides.

Speaker 2 That to me is too far. I want

Speaker 2 one. It's softening our kids, the future generation.
When we were kids, your parents would buy you a bunk bed or a trampoline because they wanted you to get hurt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just...

Speaker 1 We actually were driving and he saw his first trampoline. He's like, I want that.
I was like, fucking never.

Speaker 2 We should get a trampoline for the office.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should.

Speaker 1 Get on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, slam balls, bass. Yeah, we can sue Barstool.
But yeah, bunk beds. I'm not one of those, oh, man, back in our day, it was so much harder.
This is, you know, this is pussy shit.

Speaker 1 I want this bunk bed. I want this bunk bed.
I think I might buy it for myself and just not even put it in my bedroom. Maybe like backyard.
Maybe just put it in the office.

Speaker 2 Is your bed upstairs in your house? Yeah. So you kind of have a bunk bed.

Speaker 1 The giant set of stairs that goes up. As cool as his, dude.
He's got everything I want and more.

Speaker 2 I kind of want a race car bed.

Speaker 1 There's things still to happen. I'm sure they're

Speaker 1 PMT. I'm sure.
Like an Indy car bed. I bet you

Speaker 1 somebody has an F1 bed.

Speaker 2 Dude, if I could sleep all night in an F-18A Hornet, oh my God. I bet you they've made them.
That would be so cool.

Speaker 1 If bunk beds now have stairs, they've definitely made them incredible. Yeah.
So. Yeah, bunk beds are back.
I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I guess this is, someone replied and said that this has been the way for 15 15 years now. So, because obviously we've we're getting up there in age, so we skipped this whole thing.

Speaker 1 So, it might, it might have been something we just never knew about until this very moment, but bunk beds rock.

Speaker 9 It does look fun to me. It looks so fun.

Speaker 1 It's just too easy for him to get down, though. Like, I do kind of want, yeah, we'll see.
All right. Maybe I'll just, maybe I'll put like

Speaker 1 Kevin McAllister, like put some nails on it or something for him. Vaseline.

Speaker 2 The nice thing about the bunk bed was your kids were almost like trapped in bed, so they weren't going to get up in the middle of the night and come wake you up. No, now not anymore.
No, yeah.

Speaker 1 When he was going to bed tonight, I was laying in the queen bed underneath him, and he did walk down the stairs like five times and thank me for the bunk bed. So at least he's appreciative.

Speaker 1 But I was also like, go to bed, dude. You like, this is way too easy for you to be able to.
He just kept on coming down. He's like, I love my new bed.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Fucking go to bed. So yeah, bunk bed's back in a big way.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 6 Who's back? Is Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt Football was picked to win the SEC by five different media members.

Speaker 2 No, what?

Speaker 1 Don't they all go to SEC?

Speaker 6 I don't know, but they're tied for fourth in terms of first place votes.

Speaker 1 When we were there for tight end you,

Speaker 1 one of their coaches was like, things are turning around. Yeah.
And I bought it.

Speaker 2 I did buy it. They said, yeah, we're pumping money in the program.

Speaker 2 Their coach, I think, just signed a long-term deal.

Speaker 1 So they're

Speaker 1 all about it. Vanderbilt is submitting to it.

Speaker 2 Word on the street is Vanderbilt might be embracing the downfield lateral.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's word on the street.

Speaker 2 These guys probably heard about that.

Speaker 1 Can I short this stock? What can we do here?

Speaker 6 I don't know. Just five people believe they're going to win the SEC.

Speaker 1 The SEC or the SEC East? Eight had them winning the SEC East. Five had them.
Because the SEC East

Speaker 1 has Georgia, but it doesn't have Alabama and LSU. So you could be like, oh, if Georgia has...

Speaker 1 a catastrophic thing happen where they just can't play football we are marshal maybe you could defeat Florida.

Speaker 5 There's also like 500 votes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. There we go.
Because

Speaker 2 I'm looking at the odds right now. Vanderbilt is plus 50,000 to win the SEC.
Georgia's minus 110. That's insane that Georgia is minus 110

Speaker 2 to win the SEC championship. That's nuts.

Speaker 6 Fucking Vanderbilt. Yeah.
So Vanderbilt, look out for them because five people think they're going to win it. Also, other who's back.

Speaker 6 Yes, I'm going to plug it. The Corn Fairy Tour.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Huge week on Barcelona.tv. We're going to be live Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday from 3:30 to 6:30 Eastern, 2:30 local time.
It's here in Chicago. It's going to be so much fun.

Speaker 6 The tea time should be released either today or tomorrow. I'm not sure, but it's going to be awesome.
Do you have any calls prepared?

Speaker 5 Not yet, no.

Speaker 1 Can you whisper?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No?

Speaker 1 You're too excited with the whispering. I need like a very hushed call.

Speaker 1 You did nail as bad as your call was

Speaker 1 for the Hank winning the lottery ball, which made me

Speaker 1 want to be

Speaker 1 deaf and have one of your ADA apartments. Yep.

Speaker 1 Your call for the PLL was awesome. Oh, thank you.
Yeah, no, you did a great job. Thank you.
I think it's I don't like the calls when it's just anything that celebrates Hank. That's fair.

Speaker 1 Is what makes me upset.

Speaker 5 That's fair.

Speaker 1 But I have to be no, I'm being

Speaker 1 this is a vulnerable moment for me, Hank. I'm admitting

Speaker 1 that I have this issue.

Speaker 1 Am I allowed to go to the work event? Yeah, you're

Speaker 1 not there

Speaker 1 this week. I thought you were trying to get your tour card.

Speaker 2 Are you going to play the chorus just to get a feel for it? My podcast?

Speaker 1 Hank is going to be the dudes on the beach doing surprise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you're going to. I know you're going to.
It's a work event again.

Speaker 1 I don't want to ruffle any feathers here. Hank,

Speaker 1 I fully expect you

Speaker 1 to find a way to go to the work thing. I fully expect you to find a way to be in this tournament.
I don't know how you're not.

Speaker 1 There's still time. Yeah, there's still absolutely time.
Okay. There's a qualifier tomorrow.
Seriously?

Speaker 1 Why aren't you playing?

Speaker 1 Come on. Brad Ford is though.
Really? So he could actually play in this tournament?

Speaker 1 How good are the guys playing in the qualifier? Probably a lot better than Radford. Why aren't you playing with the family?

Speaker 5 I was going to say the winner of this tournament last year over four days was 22 under par.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Hank,

Speaker 1 Was it broadcast?

Speaker 6 I don't know. I know they go live for the 70-second hole.

Speaker 5 I was watching that today.

Speaker 1 Okay, so instead of twins,

Speaker 1 they show the upcoming schedule at the end of the

Speaker 1 French Open, and it had

Speaker 1 FedEx on the bottom. Is Blocky going to be in this one? No.
I don't think so.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 2 If I was on the Corn Fairy Tour, I would cheat so hard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think we can do that.

Speaker 2 Why not?

Speaker 1 It's legit. It's right open.

Speaker 2 I know, but if there's no cameras on you for each shot,

Speaker 2 we're talking a couple hundred thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 It's the guy next to you because

Speaker 1 you keep the scorecard of the person you're playing with. Yeah, I would still cheat.

Speaker 2 I would find ways to cheat.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but there's a lot on the line here.

Speaker 6 The top 30 guys end of the season get their PGA tour cards, so it's coming down the stretch.

Speaker 1 I want you to get your PGA tour card.

Speaker 6 500 points for the winner.

Speaker 1 Shoot up the standing. You would forget our names so fast.

Speaker 1 I worked with these guys for a while. No, I just have you wearing all MegaCorp stuff.

Speaker 1 If you got sponsored by Megacorp, all would be forgiven.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to our great interview with Joe Buck. PFT, who we got before Joe Buck.
Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 And now, here's Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests. It has been far too long.
It is the man, the myth, the legend, Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 Joe, great to see you. Thank you for wearing the stello blue coffee hat.

Speaker 2 We haven't talked to you in forever.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about it. I was like, man, we need to have Joe Buck back on because for people people who don't know, well, no one would know this.

Speaker 1 We actually were going to have you on in the football season, and it was going to be the Monday before the Bengals and Bills played.

Speaker 1 And we know how that went, so it was good that we didn't have you on. You remember that? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 No, I just actually got back from Tahoe and that celebrity golf tournament thing and the American Century, which is a blast.

Speaker 5 I need to say, first and foremost, but I had many people in the gallery, at least

Speaker 5 4%

Speaker 5 of the 11 people that followed me were like, you've got it. When are you going back on? When are you going back on? So here we are.

Speaker 5 And yeah, I do remember that game all too well and very thankful for the way that things have turned out for Mr. DeMar Hamlin.
I've gotten to know him a little bit since then. And

Speaker 5 he is a wonderful young guy and can't believe he's going at it again.

Speaker 5 who am I to tell anybody what they can or can't do? So good for him.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 In that moment, it was, me and Big Cat talked about it the day after the incident, and it felt like America was looking at somebody to be mad about because we were so shocked at what we saw take place on the field.

Speaker 2 So we went, everyone went on Twitter and tried to find who the villain was going to be. You know, Skip Bayless had some interesting things to say at the time.
So we kind of went after him.

Speaker 2 I thought you did a good job in that situation. It was a very, very tough situation.
You were walking a tightrope where you're just reacting honestly to what you saw,

Speaker 2 but not making any missteps. Like you handled that as perfectly as you could in such a bad situation.
So, as much as we like to bust your balls, Joe, I do think you did a good job.

Speaker 5 That's

Speaker 1 clip that, please.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 let me get a copy of that.

Speaker 2 I do,

Speaker 5 you're right. The way you said it is you have to not make any missteps.
And I think the one thing that

Speaker 5 I'm really proud of everybody that was involved that night was the restraint, the restraint of not

Speaker 5 speculating, of not guessing, of not, there was no information. And when there's no information

Speaker 5 and the red light is on, and you know that you're supposed to be saying something, it's a bit unnerving to not have anything to go on other than what everybody else saw.

Speaker 5 I had no information

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 5 people watching on television didn't have.

Speaker 5 you see them working on him. You see the ambulance.
You see the ambulance leave. We eventually knew where he headed and where he ended up.

Speaker 5 But other than that, I mean, you just keep repeating yourself and you realize at that moment how small sports are.

Speaker 5 And, you know, not to be corny about it, but the job that those medical people did down on that field was like landing a plane on the Hudson.

Speaker 5 They were absolutely perfect in front of a full stadium of people, a national audience, saving somebody's life.

Speaker 5 And I can't imagine the pressure, but I think the pressure may go out the window when you're just doing your job and you're reacting in the moment. It's no different than, I would imagine,

Speaker 5 calling a Super Bowl or playing in a Super Bowl or whatever it might be. Once it's time to go, you go and you don't think about, you know, what else is around you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you did do the thing that we love, which is when announcers go, I don't want to speculate, but and then they proceed to speculate after that point.

Speaker 1 Exactly. It's a nice, yeah, yeah,

Speaker 5 I was aware of, you know, of what had transpired on the field because they made that kind of player shield around DeMar. And I think wisely, our cameras all pulled back.

Speaker 5 So the only thing we could see is what we could see from the booth with our eyes, not because of any cameras. And you could see over the players and them feverishly trying to revive him.

Speaker 5 And then as my phone is just blowing up

Speaker 5 with my daughters texting me, my wife, friends, friends I haven't heard from in forever, people that are like, you start realizing, oh my God, you know, there are people hanging on every moment of this situation.

Speaker 5 And, you know, again, to know where we are, I mean, even to know where we were.

Speaker 5 four days after that, but now where we are, where he's about to head to camp

Speaker 5 is pretty remarkable.

Speaker 1 It really is. It really is.
And I don't want to spend this entire interview sucking your dick, but I do have another moment that I would like to point out.

Speaker 5 Only on this show.

Speaker 1 I said, yeah. Only on this show.
We're going to suck your dick for a little bit, Joe, okay? All right, take on your pants.

Speaker 1 The first week, Monday night football, I said this while we were taping afterwards, the Broncos playing the Seahawks.

Speaker 1 And I said, your call of that game, the beginning of the game, where you had the sense to let the crowd just speak.

Speaker 1 I don't think you said a word from the time Russell Wilson walked on the field till after the first play transpired and letting the moment speak for itself.

Speaker 1 I'm curious, do you think that's something that, you know, 20 years ago, you would have had the wherewithal to be like, hey, this is not my moment. This is what the fans want to hear this.

Speaker 1 Because I thought it was exceptional with, and that's not just saying because you weren't speaking, and that's always nice when you're not speaking. True.

Speaker 1 But do you think that that's something you learned over time? Because I thought it was an unbelievable call by you.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think it is. I think that comes with experience not to act like the old sage on this stuff because everybody's got their own take on the way they do things.
So I don't know that

Speaker 5 I always make that right decision. I do remember in 99 at the all-star game at Fenway when Ted Williams came out from behind the gate and was being

Speaker 5 driven around the warning track and

Speaker 5 took his cap. I guess he was famous for not really tipping his cap.

Speaker 5 And it's the end of his life and it's the big moment for Ted Williams and multiple generations, some who never even maybe heard of Ted Williams and others who may have seen him play, are there at Fenway and he sticks his straight arm out with his cap like I am

Speaker 5 emphatically tipping my cap to you, the fans. I remember our producer, Mike Weissman, telling me in my ear when we had come back from commercial, we're back.
And I couldn't talk.

Speaker 5 I couldn't get anything out. I think at that point, I'm thinking of my own life and growing up in the game.
And my dad was getting on in years and the beauty of this moment. And it was,

Speaker 5 I couldn't choke. I was crying

Speaker 5 in,

Speaker 5 literally,

Speaker 5 I had tears in my eyes. And I was like, I have not, what am I going to say that's better than what we're seeing? There's no, and all I'm going to do is cut out the crowd.
So why would you do that?

Speaker 5 And I think, so there have been times in my career, and that's 20 plus years ago, there are times in my career where you realize, unless you're just ego-filled and a moron or insecure, because you feel like if you don't talk, everybody's at home going, oh, this guy doesn't know what to say.

Speaker 5 He stinks. And so I think there have been times where you realize silence is the most powerful tool you have to let the natural sounds come over over a television, which

Speaker 5 I think I've been pretty respectful of over the years with baseball and football. But that was one of those, like, all this hype of Aikman and Buck are going to ESPN and, oh, who cares?

Speaker 5 And, oh, it's going to change Monday Night Football. No, it's not.
It's the same. And then the first thing you do is you don't talk.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That was kind of the weird thing bouncing through my big brain.

Speaker 1 But it was incredible. Big head, small brain.

Speaker 1 It is really

Speaker 1 like the next level, the transcendent

Speaker 1 announcers knowing when to push, knowing when to pull back, because hearing the crowd is so great when you're trying to consume a game on TV and feeling like you're there.

Speaker 1 And I did in that moment, hearing the Seattle fans give it to Russell Wilson was exactly what I wanted to hear.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and I think sometimes it's not just the loud noises that a crowd makes. I think sometimes crowds can say all all they want to say with silence.

Speaker 5 You know, I can't tell you how many times a World Series would end and you're going,

Speaker 5 man, if this were just happening at home, you know, but you get a road team winning a World Series in a four-game sweep and then it's just dead silence.

Speaker 5 But the beauty of that is if you don't talk after you say the, you know, fill in the blank. The Chicago White Sox are world champions.

Speaker 5 Now you can hear the natural sound on those cameras with the microphones that are on the cameras that are going right into the celebration on the field and you can hear those guys acting like little kids like they just won a little league world series that to me is just as powerful as a crowd either booing or going crazy because of some uh some awesome moment yeah and and knowing when to shut up is something that ai will never take over from a play-by-play announcer

Speaker 2 the robot would never shut up so i'm that's true i'm anti-ai when it comes to that sort of thing good way to take a stand me too yeah you mentioned

Speaker 2 Monday Night Football, year two.

Speaker 2 How long have you and Scott Van Pelt hated each other?

Speaker 5 That was the dumbest thing. It's so funny.
It just

Speaker 5 Van Pelt's like the only guy I knew at ESPN before I came there. We'd been at parties together.

Speaker 2 We'd had fun.

Speaker 5 We would text over the years. He would text me stuff during golf.
I'd text him stuff that I saw on his show.

Speaker 5 And so now I always look forward to the after-the-game little catch-up with Scott because he's funny and smart. And so whatever he, I didn't even know where we were.

Speaker 5 I think we were in Indianapolis, maybe. And he asked me a question, then Troy a question, Troy another question.

Speaker 5 And I said something like being a smart ass, like, what, am I only getting one question or whatever? And he gave it back to me.

Speaker 5 And the fact that that became a thing is so funny to both of us that we came really close the next week to just blowing it up and making it absurd like some awful feud.

Speaker 5 I love Scott. So that whole thing was absolute.
I see it on Instagram. Yeah.

Speaker 5 When it would come through my feed, like, oh, this is, this is a war I want to watch. Scott Van Pelt against Joe.

Speaker 5 Nobody wants to see that. Nobody cares.
It's junk.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, it's also just what we do on the internet is just make any little moment the biggest moment.
I was actually sitting there conflicting because I was like, I love both these guys.

Speaker 1 What the hell? I took Scott's side. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You're on Scott's side?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 If I'm doing Troy Aikman, Joe, nobody wants to hear your thoughts about football.

Speaker 1 Yeah, push come to shove. It's Scott's side, just so you know.

Speaker 5 I get it. That was me.
That was really my insecurity. You're right.

Speaker 5 It's Aikman. And, you know, he's going to break it down.
Most of the time, I honestly feel like I shouldn't even be there. Like, I'm willing to wait.

Speaker 5 It's not like I need to get out of the booth five minutes earlier.

Speaker 1 I'm willing to wait.

Speaker 5 Let Troy further analyze the game. Well, you you don't need to hear from me,

Speaker 5 but you know, whatever.

Speaker 5 That stuff's fun to me. And I like, it just proves as if Brockmeyer didn't how great of an actor I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are a great actor. So, so Monday night football, is it way better in terms of lifestyle? I would imagine you get to watch all the games on Sunday now.

Speaker 1 You know, you're not, you're not sitting there while the whole slate is going on prepping for a game.

Speaker 1 Is it that much better, I would imagine?

Speaker 5 It is. I mean, I like being the standalone game, whether it was Thursday night, which we were doing at Fox or Monday night.

Speaker 5 And I miss so much on Sunday when I was getting ready for a late afternoon game or an early afternoon game because you can't watch all that stuff. And so now I'll, you know, we would get to the city,

Speaker 5 watch in a viewing room the different games that were going on, watch Red Zone, whatever the version of that's going to be this year coming up. I don't know.

Speaker 5 But yeah, getting a feel for what's happening in the league on Sunday and then being either the last word of that previous week on Monday night or the first word on what's to come the rest of that week is fun.

Speaker 5 It should lead, and I think we'll be better this year. It should lead to more kind of 30,000-foot NFL

Speaker 5 views about what's happening in the league more than just, hey, second down and four.

Speaker 5 Here's another two-yard run. I think there's time in there to actually do some stuff that is a little bit bigger picture.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you know this, Joe, but earlier when you said the Chicago White Sox are World Series champions, when you say something like that, for like a split second in my dumb brain, I believe that the Chicago White Sox are now World Series champions.

Speaker 2 Because it's coming from your voice. And it sounds, it sounds

Speaker 2 like, can you just say the Washington Commanders have won the Super Bowl, just so I can hear that?

Speaker 1 The Washington Commanders have won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's as close as I'll get. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about Justin Fields really is an MVP caliber quarterback?

Speaker 5 And with that performance, Justin Fields has solidified himself as the NFL's most valuable player.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2 Now can you say,

Speaker 2 and coming into this game, the big story is obviously the Patriots have fired Bill Belichick.

Speaker 5 And coming into this.

Speaker 1 No, I can't.

Speaker 1 I want to go back to something. You were talking about

Speaker 1 the MLB All-Star game.

Speaker 1 This is, what, the first summer that we don't get to hear any Joe Buck in, or maybe last summer as well?

Speaker 5 Well, it's my second year out of baseball.

Speaker 5 It is stunning to me. How when you get out of something that's been

Speaker 5 it's been in my life as literally as long as i can remember i grew up in the back of the cardinals broadcast booth with my dad doing the games

Speaker 5 and i did it professionally for 35 years and i did it nationally for 20 plus years to have it be out of my life and watch as a fan but not get into the weeds on baseball to see the players come up in the all-star game this past you know, whatever it was, two weeks ago, week ago.

Speaker 5 I was like, oh my God, I don't recognize half of these players. I don't know who any of them are.
And I haven't been out that long.

Speaker 5 It's amazing how when you get off the train, it leaves you and you're standing at the station and it's gone and nobody cares and the game moves on.

Speaker 5 And, you know, that, that, it's a weird lesson to learn that way, but I,

Speaker 5 it's the truth. It's passed me by.
I'm, I'm, I'm off, I'm off the carousel here.

Speaker 1 But people want you back on baseball. So

Speaker 1 are you saying that you're not going to do baseball anymore?

Speaker 5 Well, I've done interviews where, and I don't know who those people are. They want me back on baseball.
And I sure as hell don't know where they were when I was doing baseball. But now

Speaker 5 it proves the old adage: you either have to die or retire for people to go, oh, you know, that guy was okay.

Speaker 1 That guy was.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 5 the national baseball stuff, I don't see how that ever comes around again. Like I said, it just, you're gone, you're done.
You're, it's, it's beyond. I think doing,

Speaker 5 and I got, you know, this got headlines, clickbait crap in the New York Post.

Speaker 5 And when I said, you know, maybe someday if I did a handful of games for the Cardinals or if we're living in Denver and the Rockies, somebody was on a vacation and they said, hey, will you come to, it might be fun, but I watch games now and I see umpires just as I'm watching on television making signals and pointing at their watch and all the stuff with the timing violation.

Speaker 5 I have, I don't even know. This was my life, and I don't even know what the hell they're signaling with whatever they're doing.

Speaker 5 So I would have to do a lot of work to get back in the booth and call a baseball game. If somebody said, hey, do two innings, I could do two innings, but

Speaker 5 I don't see it anytime soon. Yes, if you go.

Speaker 2 It's interesting they said two innings because for a fantasy baseball league, our punishment is that we're going to have to get two innings worth of outs against maybe Northwestern's baseball team.

Speaker 1 One of us pitching. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the rest of us in

Speaker 1 that. Yeah.
So you might have to, we'll send you the footage and you might have to announce it.

Speaker 5 Now, I'll do that.

Speaker 1 I feel I will ask.

Speaker 5 I'll beg for permission. When I was at Fox, it was like anybody came along, they wanted me to do something.

Speaker 5 Now I've been at ESPN for so short a time that I wouldn't want some sort of contractual violation to end my time.

Speaker 1 Well, Scott would do it for us.

Speaker 2 No questions asked. Yeah, we'll just get Scott.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, we'll do Scott. Yeah, you're fine.

Speaker 5 Okay, I think he'd be better for that.

Speaker 1 Wait, you actually should do a baseball game and just pretend that you didn't realize all the rules changed and be like, what the fuck is this clock going on? Like, why are they going so fast?

Speaker 5 Boy, this game's got such a better pay. He's really working in a hurry.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, boy, that, boy, that base seems bigger than it used to from up here.

Speaker 1 What is it? An inch bigger? Huh? What is that? Yeah. Things like that.

Speaker 1 An inch bigger.

Speaker 2 You like the big bases, too. I love the big bases.

Speaker 5 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 5 Like, I thought when they said they're going to make the bases bigger, like, they were going to be circus bases, like clown shoes or something, like these massive things that you could slide into.

Speaker 5 I guess that's a big change.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was clamoring that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We all wanted a bigger base.
And then

Speaker 2 you can always make the bases bigger, too. You can't make them smaller.

Speaker 5 That's true. The fans have spoken and they have been given bigger bases.

Speaker 1 Although tiny bases would be funny. Yes.
Super tiny bases like teacups. I like that idea.

Speaker 5 First baseman stomping around trying to find it. The runners trying, can't.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 there's some value to that.

Speaker 9 Did you watch the home run derby?

Speaker 5 I watched some, not all.

Speaker 2 We've been trying to fix the home run derby because it feels, maybe it's nostalgia because anything that you grow up watching, you kind of want to recapture that moment in your youth when you're watching the same product later.

Speaker 2 And, you know, they tweak the rules a little bit. It's different from when we used to watch it.

Speaker 2 We think that it used to be better when you could just observe a home run and watch it land and then on to the next one.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 5 I feel like the rapid fire,

Speaker 5 and maybe it's because I'm now old, but it's like it's hard to piece together,

Speaker 5 A, how many home runs the guys actually got because they're flying over and one hits the wall and you don't know which ball that hit the wall is connected to which swing that I just saw.

Speaker 5 Like it's bang, bang, bang, bang.

Speaker 5 So I, yeah, slowing it down or doing some sort of change where it you get X number of pitches so you can actually follow the ball and know how many home runs the guy hit.

Speaker 5 I, that seems like a better use. And it wouldn't wear these guys out as much as just.
How many can you hit in three minutes?

Speaker 1 These guys are just dragging by the end of that thing. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you figured out which team you're going to hate this year in the NFL?

Speaker 1 Is it like every year? Yeah, does it change? Are you like,

Speaker 1 I'm feeling like

Speaker 5 I usually, I work my way through the divisions and I start east because we all travel west. So I've already gotten all those.

Speaker 5 Okay. I add the south in there.
So I'll go west.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think, well, we don't have an Atlanta game.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So let's throw them on there.

Speaker 2 That seems like piling on, though. Haven't they dealt with enough?

Speaker 5 Haven't they suffered enough?

Speaker 1 Have you thought about like zagging on everyone and being like, Patrick Mahomes isn't that good?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 1 Some people call him check down Patty.

Speaker 5 Check down Patty, his

Speaker 2 distance of air yards traveled for every touchdown they threw last year, career low.

Speaker 1 I think a thing.

Speaker 5 So let's get rid of him because he's checking it down. He just wins and they win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Yeah, quarterbacks are the new running backs.

Speaker 5 They could have won the last four somehow, but yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 Find a new one.

Speaker 1 He's the one guy you could do it for because everyone would be like, he's obviously doing a bit because he's that good. So you should be like, yeah, that wasn't that impressive.

Speaker 5 No, that's true. And I feel like Patrick, who might be the nicest superstar athlete of anybody I've ever met,

Speaker 1 might handle it okay.

Speaker 5 I think some guys might get a little ticked off or perturbed, but not him. No.

Speaker 1 Has that happened to you before? Has any player ever been like, hey, you're too hard on me?

Speaker 5 Let's say

Speaker 5 there's a certain

Speaker 5 family in the NFL. They've had multiple generations and

Speaker 5 multiple players in the same position in the same generation that might have thought I was too harsh on a member of the family.

Speaker 1 The greasies, really? The greasy complaints complained. It was all about Brian.
Matty.

Speaker 2 It's the bosses or maybe the longs. Probably Chris Long's a dick.
He probably hates you. Oh, God.

Speaker 5 Yeah. What a bad guy.

Speaker 5 Now, see, that'll be like, I don't know. That's the scary thing about doing podcasts is when you get the now, it's like, ding.
Okay, Joe Buck doesn't like Chris Long. Joe Buck loves Chris Long.

Speaker 5 So you feel like it's the Van Pelt thing. You mess around and you have fun with somebody.
But yeah, the Manning family does not always thought that and we were too harsh on Eli.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 this podcast gets a different treatment where even if someone says something serious, they're like, oh, they're fucking around. They wouldn't actually be serious ever.

Speaker 5 So you have to say I saw a headline that Greg Olson is worried about drawing quote-unquote penises.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, penises. But you don't have to say penis.

Speaker 2 You can say penis. You don't have to worry about drawing penises.
They don't give you the ability to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't.

Speaker 5 Be a verbal, be a verbal dong.

Speaker 1 Wait, so Eli, wait, Eli Manning, they actually were like, hey, you're too hard on the Mannings? Just Eli?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mentioned this when I was a guest on the Manning cast, and I said, it's going to be my objective, Eli, to make you like me before I hang up the Zoom call on the Manning cast.

Speaker 5 We're all good now, and I'm good with Peyton. But back in the day, I remember watching, I got home from a Sunday game.
And I turned it on, and

Speaker 5 Costas was interviewing Peyton Manning. And I think the question was, you know, what's it like with a younger brother in the NFL? And

Speaker 5 Peyton said, you know, well,

Speaker 5 it's not fun hearing Joe Buck say something harsh about

Speaker 5 your brother Eli. I was like, man, that doesn't feel like that was

Speaker 5 too coincidental.

Speaker 5 But,

Speaker 5 you know, time goes on. And I think, you know, for those guys, and Peyton's been become a really good friend, and Eli, I think, can tolerate me to a certain degree, maybe not all the way.

Speaker 5 But I actually made it a point, not to go too deep into this because it's not really that interesting. But back when the Super Bowl was, I think, last in New Orleans, it was the

Speaker 5 Ravens 49ers Super Bowl. The Pat Somerall award was going to the Mannings, and I think it was going to Archie Manning, but maybe all the Mannings.

Speaker 5 And I was there in the city because I was stalking my now wife at the time, trying to make her love me.

Speaker 5 I went and made it a point at the hotel when they were honoring Archie and Peyton and Eli. I went to the event and I went to Olivia Manning and I said, Archie's wife, I said, look, I...

Speaker 5 I have this sense or I've heard that you think I'm unfair. And

Speaker 5 I just want you to know

Speaker 5 it's never personal. And I'm a parent myself.
And I would be the same damn way if I thought anybody was picking on my kid. And I just want you to know that's not how I feel.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry that you feel that way. And then it was like the pressure and the tension was over and it was hugs and everything was good.

Speaker 2 Do you remember what it was you said that first drew their attention?

Speaker 5 Like honest God, that's the thing. I mean, there have been times where I've thought, that might have been a little bit too far.
Not with Eli, but with

Speaker 5 other athletes that I've covered over the years. Sometimes it was more kind of local baseball stuff.

Speaker 5 I remember being with my dad one time, and Milt Thompson was a cardinal outfielder, and he made a throw from left field. And my dad said,

Speaker 5 and I was sitting next to him when he said it on the air, he said, Well, if you're not going to throw a runner out from left field from that close in, you're never going to throw out a runner.

Speaker 5 And the next day, Milt kind of let my dad have it.

Speaker 5 And that, you know, you realize that these are people and they have feelings.

Speaker 5 And it's a good reminder every once in a while to just kind of check yourself because, you know, I would probably react the exact same way.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I am looking forward to Monday Night Football.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you get excited like we do, but just looking through the schedule.

Speaker 2 and thinking about where I'm going to be on that date, on that Monday, I'm going to be on my couch watching you on TV. I get excited.
I get excited about that.

Speaker 2 Do you have any games that are circled on the calendar this year where you're already like, man, I can't wait to be there?

Speaker 5 I mean, the way we start is pretty crazy to think that we've got Aaron Rodgers' debut in New York, 9-11, Jets hosting the Bills, and potentially DeMar Hamlin's return and Josh Allen.

Speaker 5 And there are so many storylines in that game. At some point, you know, you got to cover the game, but you could go in.

Speaker 5 I mean, you could fill three hours with the different storylines that are happening. And then we've got the Super Bowl rematch of Kansas City Philly week 11 in November.

Speaker 5 So I think those are the two that stand out. But

Speaker 5 there are a lot of really good games. I'm interested to see how good Green Bay is.
I think that's the one, like the Jordan Love story

Speaker 5 is.

Speaker 5 something that I can't wait to watch unfold because I was there for his start at Kansas City and that didn't go well.

Speaker 5 And then I was was watching on, I guess it was a Sunday night when he came in and played really well in mop-up duty. And I think it's such an unknown, but they seem to be so

Speaker 5 in his corner and such believers that I want to see it play out. I want to see the passing of the torch to the next guy in Green Bay.
And, you know, I'm hopeful that he's the guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's going to stink.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I got to warn you, Joe,

Speaker 1 I'm moving in a new house soon, and I have a bigger TV. So I am going to make the greatest big head Joe Buck pictures I've ever made.

Speaker 5 When I got your coffee, I tried. I realize it's a pixel thing as much as it's anything because

Speaker 5 I've tried to put my phone camera above the label on the coffee of your head,

Speaker 5 and it just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 Wait, let me see. I got you.
I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you great

Speaker 1 this year. Nope.

Speaker 1 don't, you're already, you already made a mistake. I can already see what you've made a mistake on.
How you got to go? Are you going sideways?

Speaker 1 No, and the zoom out, the sideways and zoom out is the way you get it. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 It's good.

Speaker 1 Hold on, I'll get closer. You ready? Yeah, would you please?

Speaker 1 Thanks. All right, big cats getting into the camera.

Speaker 5 This is really compelling podcast.

Speaker 1 I'll do play-by-play. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Big cat's getting into the camera right now. Joe Buck's got got his iPhone out horizontally.
The zoom out feature is locked on. Joe's weird, skinny, wrinkly fingers just took a picture of Big Cat.

Speaker 2 And it's going to turn out real well, I think.

Speaker 5 One word for you there, Big Cat. Botox.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know.

Speaker 5 I think you may want to tighten that up up front.

Speaker 5 You got a nice tan going. Have you spent some time out of doors lately or is that spray?

Speaker 1 It's a little tan. No, it's mostly

Speaker 1 with three kids now. I take two of them out all day to to try to try to just get the clock going.

Speaker 5 What do you do with the other one?

Speaker 1 The other one stays home with mom, and then I just go to the playground and everything, just try to run the clock. You know, it's just trying to

Speaker 1 get to bedtime every day.

Speaker 5 Do they know you're you on the playground? Do you have the other dads coming up to you the way I have dads coming up to me when they go, oh, are you here with your grandsons?

Speaker 5 I'm like, no, these are my children.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Do they want to get your hot take on some piece of sports information?

Speaker 1 No, it's my son thinks that I have like a million friends, which is pretty cool. But

Speaker 1 every person who comes up to me, he's like, oh, is that your friend from work? Is that your friend from work? I'm like, yeah, kind of, kind of.

Speaker 1 And then he'll eventually grow up and be like, wait, that's what you do? So at least you have a better chance with your kids.

Speaker 5 Well, Blake, one of my twins, always goes, Daddy, why did you play a Blake of the Year?

Speaker 1 He might be a Blake of the Year. We have a Blake of the Year every year, so we might have to get him into the competition.

Speaker 5 Please do.

Speaker 5 He's willing to accept awards. He just says, Daddy, why did that man want to take a picture with you? And so I've just spread it around.

Speaker 5 Your dad's a heavyweight champ of the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's exactly.

Speaker 5 Your dad is one of the greatest boxers of all time. Yeah.
And just different things. I just won the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 You got a little time.

Speaker 5 I got a little time before he knows I'm full of shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I do. I do probably need Botox.
I'm just so scared of any surgery because of your cautionary tale. So that's fair.

Speaker 5 The only time I have had Botox, by the way, way, was in the back of my head to relieve migraines. I just any surgery on my head.

Speaker 1 Oh, sure, buddy. Sure.
That's like the

Speaker 1 nose job. The nose job because you can't breathe right? Yeah, okay.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 All the things

Speaker 5 I've admitted to having 10 hair transplant surgery. You think I'm scared of admitting if I had Botox?

Speaker 1 Well, you have. I have not.
In the back of my head. You just said you had.

Speaker 5 In the back of my head for migraines, but nobody's taking

Speaker 1 the back of my head.

Speaker 9 Joe, who's looking at you?

Speaker 2 Who's looking at the back of your head?

Speaker 1 What the hell, Joe? Trying to make it look real nice.

Speaker 1 Well done.

Speaker 2 Hey, Joe, I don't have any kids, but do you want to ask me any questions about raising children?

Speaker 5 Yeah, just general sweeps of like what your philosophy is

Speaker 5 going to be when they're...

Speaker 2 I was just doing my Joe Buck impression on Monday Night Football.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I know. But I want to actually ask you a question.

Speaker 2 What's my general philosophy? Well,

Speaker 5 live and let live.

Speaker 2 I guess the kids kind of raise themselves these days. How hard could it be?

Speaker 1 It's like

Speaker 1 I raised a dog. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I'm about to get another dog. So essentially, I've had two children plus a fake kid that I used for a clout.
So,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's not, how hard could it be? You guys, you guys bitch and moan a lot about raising kids.

Speaker 1 And honestly, what?

Speaker 2 You keep them fed. They'll figure out where the bathroom is eventually on their own.
Right.

Speaker 1 That's actually kind of exactly how we did potty training in my house. But yeah.

Speaker 1 Potty training.

Speaker 5 Are you out of the nighttime pull-ups yet?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 I'm in the shit. I'm in the shit.
I got

Speaker 1 a four-year-old, two-year-old, and a newborn. I'm in the shit.

Speaker 5 But you personally are out of the nighttime pull-ups.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not either. Good.
I wear diapers at all times.

Speaker 2 Have you ever thought about getting diped up while you call a game?

Speaker 1 Oh. I should have.

Speaker 5 I mean, I've told many stories about peeing in trash cans while I call touchdowns and sprinting to the bathroom. I should just let it, I just should let it go.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Because Troy, Troy's a famous, you've told us this before.
Troy farts a lot in the, in the booth, right?

Speaker 5 Have I told you that?

Speaker 1 I think you said that.

Speaker 5 Am I supposed to nod? Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 5 Good point. Yes.
I remember that time. I told you that.

Speaker 1 But that's happened.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, yeah, I would assume it's happened. And here's the thing.
I mean, we've got at least one, two, we've got six people up in front of that booth.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So there's strength in numbers. I mean, it's not like anybody's claiming anything yeah you could just point to these

Speaker 1 fat guy ed sfita is like that was me yeah you know how it works you point to the fattest guy in the room you're like you must have hearted look at you i get it all the time you've been working with troy so long you could probably tell a troy yeah like that's

Speaker 1 troy's brand yeah that's fair you do you guys uh do you have you golfed with are you golfing

Speaker 1 Are you a golfer? You just went out to Tahoe, right?

Speaker 5 Yes, I fancy myself a golfer person.

Speaker 1 So how are you playing these days? I didn't play that great. I didn't play awful.

Speaker 5 I finished like right in the middle of the pack. I mean, I was a plus, plus 19, which it's a point thing.
So

Speaker 5 there are players and coaches and actors and people that were well behind me.

Speaker 5 So I felt good about that, but I can't putt.

Speaker 1 I'm not a good player. Oh, we're coming out next year.
We've already decided we're going to do that trip because it looks like the funnest event.

Speaker 5 It is great. I mean, it's great for you guys.

Speaker 5 you'll be the bells of the ball. You will show up on that driving range and you will have your pick of the litter of, you know, hey, Miles Teller, come on over.
Hey,

Speaker 5 you know, Aaron Rodgers, you'll get him over there somehow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And we'll just forget that we know you. Yeah, I know.
I know how that works.

Speaker 2 Watching Steph Curry, we, we kind of agree with the take that he might be a better golfer than a basketball player.

Speaker 5 It's, it's so maddening that that somebody's that good at all that different stuff.

Speaker 5 And I tip my cap, I mean, not to be serious on a show that begs me not to be, but to have that many people follow you around playing while you play golf, which is not your main gig, and to play that well and make putts and make an eagle on 18 to win the thing,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 5 that's impressive to me. I could never do it.

Speaker 5 I would have not, I would have choked.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you want to get back in the golf calling game? Because you, I mean,

Speaker 5 no, because I don't want to give you guys more to rip me about.

Speaker 2 No, you did a good job, except for the Brooks thing, yeah, yeah, that was bad.

Speaker 1 That was bad, that was bad.

Speaker 5 No, you actually totally, I mean, it was my

Speaker 1 mouth. What's that? Yeah, you did a bad job now that I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I did, and it was, I almost had a nervous breakdown that day in the car. And the way we, we'd just done like, I don't know how long our golf coverage was.
It felt like 25 hours a day straight.

Speaker 5 And we've just done four days of that. And it was going pretty well.
And then,

Speaker 5 hey, hey there's whatever name i said of the card i got all information about brooks's

Speaker 5 i guess at that time ex-girlfriend and then brad faxon corrects me and and we walk off and and my daughter was with me trudy

Speaker 5 and i think she was legitimately concerned for my well-being i was in the back of the car i'm getting into into texting fights with people that are like making fun like in a nice way like hey by the way just so you know, my wife and I are still together.

Speaker 5 And I lost a few friends on that car ride from Aaron Hills to the airport. And I thought my daughter, my daughter thought I was having a, like a nervous breakdown.

Speaker 1 You know what you need to do? And we will provide you this coverage and service going forward.

Speaker 1 If you have any of these situations, you need to text us and then we will just release a statement and be like, Joe is joking.

Speaker 1 And then just we'll take, we'll take the narrative for you and be like, you guys are so stupid, you didn't realize he was joking.

Speaker 5 Please do, because I pay a lot of money to people to theoretically do that.

Speaker 5 But it's having the insurance that you never cash in yet. I mean, ever since I've had him, I haven't had one of those moments yet, but I'm sure I will.
Yeah. And I'll call you instead of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're like the mafia when it comes to the internet.

Speaker 1 We'll protect you.

Speaker 5 You'll scrub it. You're the Leo Schreiber.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll make sure everything's good. And we also will probably start a couple rumors that we'll then put out so

Speaker 1 we can show our services. So we got this.

Speaker 5 I like it.

Speaker 5 I can't wait until when does the New York Post headline hit that Elon Manning didn't like Joe Buck?

Speaker 1 10.30.

Speaker 2 10.30 a.m.

Speaker 5 10.30 a.m. tomorrow?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, the day this show comes out.

Speaker 5 Which is when?

Speaker 5 Just give me a, give me a ballpark so I can know when they're going to clip that and not do the other part where time has healed all wounds and everybody likes each other and gets along now.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be Monday, and it's going to be something like on

Speaker 1 podcasts where hosts sucked Joe Buck's dick. He still bashed Eli Manning.

Speaker 1 I didn't bash him. I said he didn't like me.

Speaker 5 I don't know how I bashed him.

Speaker 2 No, you're thinking about Eli Manning while we're blowing you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what's going on right now.

Speaker 5 You got him. Look at that.
I've never seen a laugh like that

Speaker 1 out of a little big cat. Oh,

Speaker 2 Joe, can I just give you something to be on the lookout for next football season? So we've been on this beat the last like two, two and a half years.

Speaker 2 If a player has a baby during the week, if they become a dad during the week, if they're an offensive skill position player, they always get a touchdown.

Speaker 2 If it's a backup tight end, if it's like a number three wide receiver, just know that going in Monday at football, if they become a father that week, they're getting a fucking touchdown.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Can I go with that in the open?

Speaker 5 Obviously, you seem very adamant about this, so I feel like you've been either rewarded or burned by this theory before.

Speaker 2 No, we've been studying it. We think that it has something to do with the fact that if you have a kid, your coworkers are usually pretty happy for you.

Speaker 2 And there'll be, you know, a subconscious or a small way that it sneaks into the game plan that they want to get you the ball.

Speaker 5 That's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 5 I will pay attention to that. That means that

Speaker 5 I'm going to have to do a better job, unlike the days when I was following the dating life of Brooks Kepka to know what everybody else has going on every week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Joe, I got one last question for you.

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Speaker 1 I saw your, this is the last question. Your podcast is now going to be a TV show, is it not? Animated short, maybe?

Speaker 5 Well, we hope we've sold it to Fox for an animated TV show

Speaker 5 along the lines of a

Speaker 5 family guy type show. Yes, Oliver Hudson and I have we've struck gold.
If they pick up the pilot, we'll see.

Speaker 1 Or scab.

Speaker 5 No, we did this prior to.

Speaker 5 There's nothing to be done now. We're just sitting here.
And it's animation.

Speaker 2 That is the dream is to sell a show to a network and then there's a strike. And so you never have to make it.

Speaker 5 You're just like, fair, but there's not been one dime paid. That's the part I don't understand.
I defer to Oliver for

Speaker 5 the workings and how this whole thing, I don't really get it because they're like, hey, we sold it. I'm like, well, what do we get? Well, nothing unless they pick it up.

Speaker 5 I'm like, well, then we didn't sell anything. So

Speaker 5 that's how that works, as you guys know.

Speaker 1 Well, congrats on getting it sold.

Speaker 1 My last, last question is how much we so we haven't talked to you in a long time. It was great to have you back on.
You are one of our favorite guests. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We do love that you're part of pardon my take history in our first interview with you and you being so welcoming to coming on.

Speaker 1 But would you say now, do you regret having this relationship with us, how this interview's gone? No. Okay, good.

Speaker 5 No, I think this is good for the average person who listens to this podcast. This is is a podcast, right?

Speaker 1 This is a podcast. We actually haven't been recording any of this.

Speaker 5 Okay, good.

Speaker 5 To see

Speaker 5 the side of me that I get to display, I get to open my kimono, as they say. I get to

Speaker 5 throw it all out there for the world to see to go, oh, the guy who said that's disgusting about the Randy Moss touchdown celebration.

Speaker 5 Well, here's the other side.

Speaker 5 So, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Well, if you're the New York Post listening to this, the big headline, the big takeaway is thing. Actually, forgive the pun headline, but Joe Buck got Botox in the back of his skull.

Speaker 1 Yeah. For migraines.

Speaker 2 For migraines. That's the most interesting thing that we've learned today.

Speaker 1 It was just for migraines.

Speaker 5 It's the most interesting thing then that I want this last 4330 back in my life.

Speaker 5 If that's it, I'll just text you random shit like that, and you can just say it, and we don't have to spend this time together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. But we're now Joe Buck protectors.
So you just let us know when you need our services. We're going to go hunting on the internet.
We got you.

Speaker 5 I love those signs behind you. I love the fact that you can make fun of the signs.
I've had those signs in my house.

Speaker 1 Every beach house has one.

Speaker 2 I think my favorite one is

Speaker 2 I just baked you some shut the fuck up cakes. And it's a cat holding a tray of cupcakes that are shut the fuck up.

Speaker 5 I like the one that says one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I may or may not have just spent about $350 at HomeGoods, and I've got a big shipment coming in.

Speaker 5 My other car is a Porsche.

Speaker 1 I like that one. Yeah.
Yeah. It's a nice flex.
Get it? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Alexa, do the dishes.

Speaker 5 What a background. What an effort.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The laundry is looking at me dirty again, Joe.

Speaker 1 That's so true.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Joe, thank you as always.
You are the best. We are so excited for football season.

Speaker 1 It's the best. Monday Night Football is our favorite.

Speaker 5 It is. Wait till you hear who's doing our new theme song.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 5 You're going to like it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Imagine dragons.
Oh.

Speaker 5 Imagine dragons are going to just crank it out. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well, Joe, thanks as always, man. We really appreciate it.

Speaker 5 All right, guys. Good to be with you.

Speaker 12 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 12 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed: roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 12 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 12 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 2 And now, here's the Mount Rushmore of Blue Things.

Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore time. We're doing the Mount Rushmore of Blue Things.

Speaker 2 Well, Red Things was such a hit.

Speaker 1 Red Things was a hit.

Speaker 2 Hank, did you get any feedback on whether or not hot sauce was red?

Speaker 1 Yeah, overwhelming amount of responses saying hot sauce is orange. That's cap.
Red. Cap.
Cap. There it is.
Sidewood Cap. Cap.

Speaker 2 Live look at Hank's orange statement.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's red. You know it's red.

Speaker 2 Overwhelming majority. You're such a fucking idea.

Speaker 1 That's an overwhelming majority of ones that I read. Oh, okay.
All right. That's fair.

Speaker 2 All right. That's not cap.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Mount Rush wore blue things.

Speaker 2 He capping for real.

Speaker 1 Here we go, boys.

Speaker 1 What is that bracelet?

Speaker 1 Is that a hair tie? Yeah, it's a fucking hair tie.

Speaker 1 Any more questions? Look at bracelets.

Speaker 1 All right. Billy and Jake are up first.
This is podcasting. Then

Speaker 1 you guys?

Speaker 2 Smells like motherfucking cap detectors.

Speaker 1 Then us third.

Speaker 1 Wrap around.

Speaker 2 My cap detectors off the charts.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Big first pick. You guys ready?

Speaker 2 Huge. I wonder what they're going to take.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Okay.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 The Cores Life Blue Mountains. All right.
Okay. Blue Mountains are blue.

Speaker 2 This is the second time you guys drafted the Cores Life Blue Mountains.

Speaker 1 Not true. Do you guys admit that that was the worst pick ever? No, because the logo.
Okay. But yes, like when you

Speaker 6 become a talking point, yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think we sullied your pick? When people think of Coors, I think of the Silver Bullet and Blue Mountains. I didn't know that was the one.

Speaker 1 That was the killer when Hank was like, if Coorslike was a football uniform, it'd be silver or blue.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 6 it's factually correct.

Speaker 1 That's all that matters. Jake Font.

Speaker 2 Jake did, Loki, just say that the only reason the pick was bad was because we trashed it. Yeah.
No, no, no. We saw it.

Speaker 1 Because it became a talking point.

Speaker 1 It became a talking point.

Speaker 6 If it becomes a talking point.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 If you get into the conversation, yes. The first thing you think of Coors Light is blue.

Speaker 1 Yes. But if you look at the Coors Light logo, it is red.
Yeah. Well, you've redeemed yourselves.
Yes. This is a great 1-1.
Good job. We're off and running.
Hank and Max.

Speaker 1 I forgot we were going to.

Speaker 1 I am going to go. I mean, this is easy number two.
I?

Speaker 1 We. Sorry.
Max and I. Oh, Max.
This is bad. Max and I are going to go.
Skip. Cap.
Captain takes the ball. Yeah, you haven't really.
Have you had any picks recently? Yeah. Captain Cap.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, we discussed before. We don't have to go, Max.
Max, should we go with one? Should we go with three? Should we go?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Let's go with the third one for sure.
It's called Teamwork.

Speaker 6 Why don't you go with the fifth one?

Speaker 1 We're going to go. Okay.
Oh, you guys are the balls. Blues Brothers.
Oh, okay. That's a good pick.
That wasn't our first pick, but you want five, you'll get five. Good pick.

Speaker 1 I like it. Good pick.
All right. Our 1-1 is still there.
Well, whatever. What? No, it's fine.
That's a good pick. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2 Blues Brothers. Classic.
It's timely.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Relatable.

Speaker 1 All right. R1-1 is going to be.

Speaker 1 Carolina Blue. Bozzy.

Speaker 1 That was our next blue. Hey, nurse.

Speaker 1 That actually wasn't going to be.

Speaker 1 It is the best blue.

Speaker 6 The best Pantone of all time. I literally pay to be the only school that has that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it is sweet.

Speaker 1 It is the best.

Speaker 1 The absolute best.

Speaker 1 Piety, I think we should go two or three.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's go with number two. Yeah.
Let's go with number two.

Speaker 1 Go for it.

Speaker 2 Easy one. The ocean.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 Is the ocean. No,

Speaker 1 you don't do that. You know it's fucking blue.
It's blue. You ever been to the Caribbean, Billy? Wait, so

Speaker 1 if you scoop up ocean water and put in a clear cup,

Speaker 1 isn't the sky? Didn't you just say that was gonna be your pick? I'm just asking questions.

Speaker 2 When you look at the ocean, what color is it?

Speaker 1 Well, that's the bottom. That's blue.
That's the reflection of the sky. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait, are you saying the ocean's blue because it's reflecting the sky? That is actually why the ocean is blue.

Speaker 2 No, it's light.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because it's reflecting off the sky.

Speaker 3 No, the Caribbean is blue.

Speaker 2 Because of the sky. It's still blue even when there's clouds.

Speaker 1 Fact.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 The ocean is blue. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Billy, real quick, if you're drawing an ocean, what color crayon are you taking out?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like in and it's a water. Answer the question about waterway.
Answer the question. Billy,

Speaker 1 Billy, answer the question.

Speaker 2 I'll answer your question before, but you have to answer mine first.

Speaker 2 Sometimes it depends on if it's like brackish, if what type of inlet is. Your teachers much.

Speaker 8 The ocean is blue, but why did they pick green for land?

Speaker 1 Grass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, when you look at the earth,

Speaker 1 we look at the earth from outer space.

Speaker 1 What is it? The pale blue dot? Yeah,

Speaker 2 if you're looking down from the moon, what color is the ocean? That's not a reflection of the sky. No, it is a reflection of the sky.

Speaker 1 No, it's the sky. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 the light refracts off the water.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Either way, the ocean's blue. The ocean is blue.

Speaker 2 I'm not debating this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a fine pick.

Speaker 2 It's like, is water wet?

Speaker 1 I don't know if you're right or wrong. I just know the ocean's blue.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, we lost the draft because we picked the five first. That's fine.

Speaker 1 We'll go with Eiffel 65 on blue. Okay, good pick.

Speaker 2 We had that on on our list, too.

Speaker 1 That's a great one. Dabba D, Daba Die.

Speaker 6 I'll be honest, I have no idea what that is.

Speaker 1 It's a song Blue, Dabu Dee.

Speaker 1 That's the name of the song.

Speaker 1 Eiffel 65 on Blue.

Speaker 2 If I was green, I would die.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dabu Di, Dabu Die.

Speaker 2 I have no idea what that song is.

Speaker 1 I have a blue house and a blue window. Get some fucking culture, Billy.
Let's go with this. Blue is the color.
Yeah, yeah, for me. Football.

Speaker 1 All right. Rip it.
Two picks. Any rogues? Nope.
Okay. I feel confident about these.

Speaker 6 These are both very good picks. I'm excited.
Boise State's football field.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good blue.
Good pick.

Speaker 2 I didn't think of that, but that's a good pick.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good pick.
That's actually blue. Yeah.
That is blue. No, that's the sky.

Speaker 2 Billy, did you know that

Speaker 2 sometimes geese try to land on the field?

Speaker 2 Did you know that? And sometimes they die when they try to land on the field because they think it's water.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And what color? And what color and what color would that water be, Billy?

Speaker 1 Got your ass. Blue.
Got your ass.

Speaker 5 Because they thought it was reflecting the sun.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I'm glad I made a good pick.

Speaker 1 We made a good pick. Yeah, Jake made a pick.
It's such a good time. Good pick.
Good shit, Jake. Good pick.
Get out of here, pick up.

Speaker 1 You're good. That was a good mountain.
We did.

Speaker 2 The next one.

Speaker 1 Best flavor.

Speaker 1 Body armor. Are you body armor, Jake? Vito, Vito.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Vito. Wow.
Oh, my God. Jake, I'm so confident, too.
We actually had that on. So did we, and then we were all in the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 We can't pick this. Let's just wait.

Speaker 1 Sorry. I can't believe plug God Jake.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is anyone seeing this insane lightning storm?

Speaker 2 It is insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the thing is. You'd like to lighten the listeners.
No one. No.
Answer your question. The listeners of the population.

Speaker 1 You should just lose your pick for it. Yeah, you should lose your pick.

Speaker 2 The charger just redacted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Pithy charged. They were brained up, and I was like, can't do it.

Speaker 1 I put

Speaker 1 not the

Speaker 1 air all this.

Speaker 5 Yes, we should just go

Speaker 1 believe what he said. Bleep and and then go

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 1 What a mistake.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. Earl backlash.
No, no, no. People are going to guess.
What do you get?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 And Billy.

Speaker 1 In the middle of all of that, Billy was like, anyone seeing this lightning? As people were listening to the business.

Speaker 1 And all the cameras are pointing towards us.

Speaker 6 Will anyone in the office, like, no?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, you're fired. Yeah, you're probably fired.

Speaker 1 It's fine. Fuck.
Pack your bags. Whoa, Jake, with an F-bomb.
You said we're still rolling? What the heck? Hey, you're actually fired.

Speaker 2 Oh, double-fired. That means you're rehired, though.

Speaker 1 Congrats.

Speaker 1 All right. What's your pick?

Speaker 1 What's your pick? I can't believe Jake just dropped an F-bomb.

Speaker 1 He was really mad at himself. No, that was their second pick.

Speaker 1 No, they get another one.

Speaker 1 No, their second pick was Boise. And redacted.
Redacted.

Speaker 1 I think we might win on Redacted. Go ahead.
You get another pick. Go ahead.
Redacted on the graph. It would be electric.
Yeah, it would. It would be so good.
Redacted would be electric.

Speaker 8 And people could just guess what it would be so fun.

Speaker 6 Which one?

Speaker 1 I'm thinking of it. Redacted? Redacted.
This one?

Speaker 2 No, that's.

Speaker 1 It's kind of stupid.

Speaker 1 It's kind of stupid. I can't believe that Jake did that.

Speaker 6 They should at least have to pick their next pick should be last.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 they should lose your spot. Yeah, you lose your spot.

Speaker 1 Last two. You get the last two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you get the last two. That's fair.
All right.

Speaker 1 Max and Hank.

Speaker 1 It's not even, yeah. No, it's hilarious.

Speaker 1 We don't have a lot left. Blue raspberry flavored anything.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 Is there such a thing as a blue raspberry?

Speaker 1 No. Yes.

Speaker 1 Not actually

Speaker 1 science. Instead of it.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. But it doesn't actually exist.

Speaker 2 In stores, though, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
No, I agree with you, but like blue raspberries aren't an actual fruit. You ever know? Maybe in the Amazon or something? No, I'm pretty sure they know.

Speaker 2 It's like white cherry. No, it's definitely not, but it is like the best flavor of every case.

Speaker 5 It is a game. Everyone wants the blue raspberry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like Jolly Rancher.

Speaker 2 Yep, we had blue raspberry, jolly rancher on our list.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Okay.
Our penultimate pick. You like that, Jake? Yes.

Speaker 1 Chargers powder blue uniforms. Good pick.
Shane, you know. Nice pick.
You know.

Speaker 2 Great fucking uniforms. They're so good that even though the team sucks ass and probably always will, the jerseys make you think that they're good every year.

Speaker 1 When they break it out, they're just so fast. Oh, oh, what do you got? You got you, you, you doing something? I'll let Maxim.
That's a great, that's a great pick. We ran out of our list.

Speaker 1 We didn't have much and just texted at the wire. Yeah, we were scrambling.
Well, it's our pick.

Speaker 1 Oh, whoa, okay.

Speaker 1 We should have let them go. Fuck, they were going to go.
Yeah, we were. Oh, damn it.
You guys can go ahead. That's all right.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.

Speaker 2 So we're going to take the blues. The blues.
The genre of music.

Speaker 1 The blues. The best.

Speaker 2 Without blues, there would be no rock and roll.

Speaker 1 That's a fact. That's a stone cold.
Stone cold.

Speaker 2 Isn't this kind of a repeat of the blues brothers? No,

Speaker 2 that's a movie.

Speaker 1 And also, people are going to think you're talking about the team, so that doesn't matter. That's fine.
No,

Speaker 1 the blues. The music genre.
Big does love the blues. I do love the big blues fans.
Yeah, love the St. Louis Blues.
No, fuck you.

Speaker 1 Big fan. You said the blues.
The blues. The music genre.
Idiot. B.B.
King, Robert Johnson. Like hockey? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 The Blues. Okay, go ahead with your genius last pick.
Music genre. Howland Wolf.
Bo Diddley. Last one.
Should we go on and on and on?

Speaker 2 Kenny Wayne Shepard.

Speaker 1 Elvis. Stevie Rayvon.
Nobody listening knows any of these people.

Speaker 2 I should. That's disrespectful to our audience.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is.

Speaker 1 Very disrespectful. And Stevie Rayvon died in a fucking helicopter crash.
Yeah. Piece of shit.

Speaker 2 You got any Kobe jokes, Max?

Speaker 1 Nope. Yeah.
Oh, what about the one you were telling us before we started started recording?

Speaker 1 I'm not clever enough for Kobe jokes.

Speaker 1 Well, the one you told us is pretty damn good and really hurtful.

Speaker 1 We could go all night with you, Max. Can I go? Yeah, go ahead.
Can I make the pick? Yeah. Shout out to Alice Goddard, Bluetooth.

Speaker 2 Okay, Bluetooth.

Speaker 1 Nice. Okay.
Good pick. Everyone in this room uses Bluetooth every single day.
Probably one of the greatest inventions in the modern era. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's all right. Yeah.
It's a great pick. Great pick.

Speaker 1 It's that good of a pick.

Speaker 2 In 10 years, nobody's going to to use Bluetooth. That's a fact.
We're going to be next on.

Speaker 1 It's going to be. What is it? Like, when was the last time you used to? Green Tooth.
Blues song, PST.

Speaker 2 Earlier this morning, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, actually, when we were driving, we had the blues on the car. You were listening to it.

Speaker 1 You liked it. You were fucking singing along, tapping your fucking feet.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I listen to the blues all the time.
Little Wing. I wake up to Little Wing almost every morning.

Speaker 1 I wake up to Lil Wing. If you don't respect the Blues, you don't like music.
It's literally the foundation piece of all music. Yep.

Speaker 1 that's a fact okay you guys have your last two picks what go ahead little wing isn't a blues song little wing is definitely a blues song jimi hendrix uh yeah so you don't know what the blues are jimi hendrix played a fuckload of blues every one of your favorite rock bands has like a basis in blues yeah

Speaker 1 i know i'm down with blues okay all right uh we're gonna go with blue jeans

Speaker 2 oh that's a good pick probably the most american thing ever yeah

Speaker 1 that's actually a great fourth round pick yeah third round Third round. Oh, yeah, because you're third-round.
He's got a Muggsy jeans. Muggsy jeans.

Speaker 1 He's back. We love Muggsy.
He's back. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right. No, they're actually such a advanced, they're just, they embody the American spirit.
All the buttons on them and stuff are like built different.

Speaker 1 Yep. It's like, it's pretty awesome.
It is. Okay.
Totally revolutionary. Okay.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. I think this is a good one, Billy.
Last pick.

Speaker 2 No, I think that one's kind of.

Speaker 1 Kind of what?

Speaker 2 There's better picks out there.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say though, Billy? It's kind of what? What are yours?

Speaker 1 Go rogue. Jake doesn't believe in you, Billy.
Jake doesn't believe in you. He thinks you're an imbecile.
But you can show him that you're a smart boy. Stand up for yourself, Billy.
Go rogue.

Speaker 1 Come on. You know what?

Speaker 2 Give the audience what they want, Billy.

Speaker 1 Come on, Billy. Go rogue.
Fuck this. Jake's Jake's trying to put you in a box.
No one puts you in a box.

Speaker 2 You know that you can connect with the AWS, Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy, they're young, just like you.

Speaker 1 Come on, Billy. There's a lot of dead air.
He doesn't have to.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Talk to me. Talk to me.
Talk to me. No.
No, no. Talk to me.
Blue Crystal Meth from Breaking Bad. Oh, okay.
Nice, nice. Nice.
Do it. No, we got to do it.
He wants to pick.

Speaker 1 You have two picks. We'll decide which one's better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. Okay.

Speaker 2 Blue Crystal Meth from Breaking Bad.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Not bad. Jake, what was yours?

Speaker 6 I was going to say Sonic the Hedgehog.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 I think Sonic might win that one.

Speaker 2 Who doesn't love Sonic? He's so fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is so fast.

Speaker 6 He rolls down those hills.

Speaker 1 I think Sonic should be your last one.

Speaker 6 Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes.

Speaker 1 What about Blue's Clues?

Speaker 2 That could have counted too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so like two honorable mentions. I have a lot.

Speaker 1 I didn't want to self-pander,

Speaker 2 but Stella Blue.

Speaker 1 Stella Blue Coffee would have been. Good coffee.
But I didn't want to do that. You know, I have integrity for the game.

Speaker 1 We had. We should have done that.

Speaker 1 Jake should have done that. Yeah.
If he cared. He would never think.

Speaker 2 He almost picked Starbucks, bro.

Speaker 1 He probably did. He probably wanted to.
He's like, well, if you're a little colorblind, the green kind of looks like blue.

Speaker 1 Blue freeze pop. Blue airheads.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I need blue candy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite color. Blueberries.
Yeah, because they're all blue raspberry flavored.

Speaker 6 You guys ever do the thing with the airheads? We shake them and they shrink.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hank, I'm surprised you didn't pick this one. Blue whale.

Speaker 1 Your whale guy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The sky.

Speaker 1 The sky.

Speaker 1 I actually picked the sky, but that was kind of the ocean thing. Yeah, no, it's actually a reflection of the sea.
I want to pick waterfalls, but I feel like that also is.

Speaker 1 Another one that you guys would have said is too dated, but Frank Sinatra's eyes. Old blue eyes.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 if we had just picked blue eyes, that would have been...

Speaker 1 That would have played. But a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it would have. Yeah, so I texted that to Hank, and then he was like, problematic.
You would have walked into me and PFT's trap there. Yeah, that's for sure.
Yeah, but Frank Sinatra's eyes.

Speaker 1 I was just throwing PFC in Alleyu. That moment wasn't trying to give him.
There was a moment where PFC and I were just sitting on the couch looking up dudes' eyes.

Speaker 2 We're like, Bradley Cooper? Yeah, Cal Ripkin Jr.

Speaker 1 Frank Sinatra.

Speaker 2 I want to take Cal Ripkin Jr.'s eyes and be catch. Like, that might be a little niche.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But he does have incredible eyes.

Speaker 2 Great blue eyes.

Speaker 1 Incredible eyes.

Speaker 1 Anything else?

Speaker 1 Blue Man Group. Blue Man Group? Frauds.
Frauds. What? Why? There's 100,000 of them.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 It's a franchise?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wait, I didn't know that.
Oh, you thought it was like three guys? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the Blue Man Group. But it's in other groups.
It's in more than one city.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like Lynn Manuel Moran does more. They're struggling as Alexander.

Speaker 2 I thought that it was one Blue Man Group.

Speaker 1 Me too. I thought it was the same three guys for the last 20 years.

Speaker 6 They're still funny and cool.

Speaker 1 No, no. No.
They're frauds. Yeah, frauds.
Absolute fraudulent. I'm going to be honest, they scare the shit out of me.
Okay, that's a different conversation.

Speaker 1 I don't know why right now, but yeah, okay, that's probably good input. They remind you of cops.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 if you have a band you like and then you show up and it's four different guys playing the same music, it's the cover band, not the band.

Speaker 2 Interesting that Billy didn't pick the thin blue line.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cubby Blue. Obviously, I can't.
That one wouldn't have played for

Speaker 1 white. Cookie Monster Monster was a good one.
Yeah, I'm sorry. We had Argentina soccer jerseys.

Speaker 2 Those are nice.

Speaker 2 Pick jerseys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we picked jersey jerseys. Is that okay with you?

Speaker 1 You're wearing a jersey.

Speaker 2 It's the most popular sport in the world.

Speaker 1 It's a green jersey.

Speaker 1 You're wearing a blue jersey. You're wearing a blue jersey saying you just picked jerseys.
I mean, yeah, fair.

Speaker 1 Weezer, the blue album.

Speaker 2 Yep, great album.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Did Third Eye Blind have an album called Blue? Wasn't good.

Speaker 2 Blue Eyes Blind.

Speaker 2 Was that the one that had another?

Speaker 1 That's basically just stealing our pick from the the red draft.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but we didn't pick it, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, we didn't.
Honorable mentions, Max. I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 So it's not stealing your pick.

Speaker 1 No, it would have been, though.

Speaker 1 But I didn't. And you talked shit on that pick.
Yeah, Blue was the name of that album.

Speaker 1 Okay, what else? Blue cheese. Yeah, that was a miss.
I don't like blue cheese. Oh, I love blue.

Speaker 2 You'll grow to love it, Jake. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yelling at a baseball game.

Speaker 1 Blue. Yeah.
That is a good one. Come on, Blue.
You're blowing the game.

Speaker 1 You're my boy, Blue. Oh, yeah.
Blue, whatever is like.

Speaker 2 That one always plays.

Speaker 1 Penicillin.

Speaker 2 Penicillin? Penicillin Blue?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Viagra.
Oh, yeah. Damn it.
Adderall. Damn it.

Speaker 1 You just jaked yourself. What?

Speaker 1 Hymns. Roman.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, they have generic equivalent of Viagra.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can get four hymns.

Speaker 2 Sildenophil.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 That's number four hymns. Billy had that one off the top.
That's going down the list of pills that are put.

Speaker 2 No, no, but that's the generic name.

Speaker 1 For Viagra.

Speaker 2 I think so. Or Cialis.

Speaker 2 One of them is really good for games.

Speaker 1 Toothpaste.

Speaker 2 For gains, though, only for gains.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I think that was a good Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 2 Yes, what you did.

Speaker 1 Redacted.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's wrap up the show with a little Monday reading. By the way, Wednesday,

Speaker 1 we are going to do Coach Tears, which is a reminder to our

Speaker 6 January 27th episode. I have to listen back to the context, but I have the reminder for this Tuesday.

Speaker 1 I like this. This feels good.

Speaker 2 Right time. We were going to do a Coach draft, I think.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're starting to get a coach draft. And then we'll put out a tier list afterwards.

Speaker 2 So we'll do a draft of coaches.

Speaker 6 January 27th opening segment. Have to listen back, but you guys are going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 So what are we going to do?

Speaker 1 We each get six guys? Yeah. No, seven guys.
How many four go undrafted? It's the four of us. Yeah.
Well, I might not be here depending on the time, but we'll see.

Speaker 1 And Hank also might not be here, depending on the time.

Speaker 1 All right, so we'll go 10 guys each. Okay.

Speaker 6 If I'm here, we'll do seven. Can you front tag tag?

Speaker 1 Two that aren't drafted. That's going to suck.

Speaker 2 Can you franchise tag a coach? They should allow it. You should allow it.
If you allow for players, allow it for the coaches.

Speaker 1 Okay, I look forward to the coach draft. That's gonna be.

Speaker 2 I remember this conversation we had on January 27th.

Speaker 1 Was it like championship week or something?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we were just talking about like the best coaches that you would want right now on your team, who the best coaches are.

Speaker 2 And then we're like, we should do a draft this summer. That's the one thing that we've never drafted.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Who's not going to get drafted? Probably

Speaker 1 the weirdo guy from

Speaker 1 Cardinals.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 The new Eagles cast offs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I will draft Eberflues. I won't let him go.
I won't let my guy go off. Shot drafts.

Speaker 2 Explosives.

Speaker 1 Explosives.

Speaker 1 We're going to get you vertical. Pew pew.
Pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah, those guys will probably.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We'll just say it right now. They're not going to get drafted.
No.

Speaker 1 Okay, perfect. So

Speaker 1 there are 30 guys to pick from, and we'll get 30 drafts.

Speaker 1 Teams of 10. Okay.
Monday reading.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so you remember last week we talked about girl dinner. Yes.

Speaker 2 Which is an entirely new way to eat dinner that only girls do, which is they sit down, they have small snacks, which no one else has done. That's a brand new hot trend.

Speaker 2 Well, there was a response in GQ magazine about the male version of girl dinner, which is called husband meal.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 So husband meal.

Speaker 2 The writer says she first entertained the concept of husband meal when after a few trips in a row, I noticed that my husband would always mention ordering from the same mediocre restaurant down the block that I'm never really in the mood for.

Speaker 2 Adulthood requires you to make smart and sane choices every day and also not to gross out your wife, he explained, which is why I wait until you're out of town to order and eat an entire enchilada platter, sometimes with a side of wings.

Speaker 2 It's reverting to total bachelorhood for about half an hour. Yeah.
What she doesn't understand is that even when she's home, he's secretly wishing that he ordered this stuff every meal.

Speaker 2 So when she leaves, he's like, okay, finally I can get this and not have you look at me sideways. Like, why are we ordering from that junk place?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I know what my husband meal is, and it's just a disgusting amount of ice cream. Yeah.
And I can actually show you. This is, I'm going to, Hank, you can read off my order.
This is for me and me alone.

Speaker 1 I think I ordered a few. Let's see.
Oh, yeah, here we go. Go ahead, read that off.

Speaker 1 This is my husband meal. One chocolicious with caramel cups and peanut butter cups.
Another chocolicious, large, with Reese's Pieces and Butterfinger. That sounds elite.

Speaker 1 And one Tahitian vanilla bean frozen yogurt with Butterfinger and Reese's Pieces. So two smalls and a large

Speaker 1 with a lot of Reese's Pieces.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know. Oh, I got a smash reorder.
I think it's like 45 bucks

Speaker 1 of ice cream.

Speaker 2 And ice cream doesn't, it doesn't really travel that well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just ordered it. Do you eat the small, then the large, and the small? I mix the vanilla and the chocolate on the first go-around.

Speaker 1 Usually, do a layer of butterfinger on the bottom of the bowl, and then I'll do Reese's pieces mixed in, and then I'll come back to the last chocolate.

Speaker 1 Like, after I watch, you know, like, I mean, who doesn't burn some calories watching, like, some baseball?

Speaker 6 Didn't you live stream, like, eating a pint when you got a million followers?

Speaker 1 That's night work.

Speaker 1 That was this is like three pints, but yeah, that's that's the you basically, I think what they're saying is that it's when you can, you can basically have no judgment in your home, you just go crazy, and yes, I do that.

Speaker 2 So, she goes on.

Speaker 2 So he orders the enchilada platter sometimes with a side of wings. She replies, I didn't even know this place served wings.
How deep did this conspiracy go? Every restaurant serves wings.

Speaker 2 And he's always thinking about ordering wings. And he's just always like, she'll never let me order the wings here.

Speaker 2 It's starting to sound to me like the author of this, Gabriella Paella. That's a delicious sounding name.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 She does not, she judges her husband quite a bit. Yes.
She won't let her husband live his true life.

Speaker 1 And also, just to note, it is a side of wings, which is the perfect part here because it's every every guy's like, whoa, what if I just warmed up with some wings?

Speaker 1 It's like you don't run a marathon before you do a little stretching, like, gotta eat the wings before I eat the meal.

Speaker 2 Also, I don't think that it's that out of bounds to say enchiladas and wings don't go together. Like, sides go with anything.

Speaker 2 I don't believe in the idea that one type of meal, like if you order a steak, then mashed potatoes are the the side to that. But if you order pasta, guess what?

Speaker 2 Mashed potatoes is a great side for pasta, too.

Speaker 1 I could, you could name any meal.

Speaker 2 Any side works with any meal.

Speaker 1 But you could also name any meal, and I could spin zone at how it works with wings. Yeah.
Like mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes and steak with wings? Yes. Yeah, that's a cool down.

Speaker 1 No, that's a cool down. The fact that Jake

Speaker 2 did it. The fact Jake disagrees with that.

Speaker 1 Tacos? Incredible.

Speaker 1 Taco, that's taco. Tacos wings, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Jake, absolutely. Have you ever dipped a wing in mashed potatoes?

Speaker 6 No, that sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 It's really good.

Speaker 1 It's really good.

Speaker 2 All sides, if you like a side, it works with any main course that you also like. Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 you're spot on, though, that Jake not realizing that wings go with everything is really proof that wings go with everything.

Speaker 1 I'll try it.

Speaker 1 No, wings with everything.

Speaker 2 I posed the question to yet another set of couple friends.

Speaker 2 The husband answered with Taco Bell, though he showed me a screen grab of a group chat in which he sent a photo of a can of salmon on a hamburger bun, prompting another participant to say that it was divorce guy energy.

Speaker 1 And yet absolutely husband meal okay your husbands just want to order good food and it sounds like you're not letting them order delicious things this sounds like a real problem in your marriage also ladies uh not to break your heart here but if that group text is real what he's not showing you is the dump he also sent to his friends because that 100 happens he's like look at this my wife's out of town the salmon burger the salmon burger ran right through me boys uh yeah salmon burger i don't like salmon burger guy well yeah i'd rather have a hamburger yeah well, I'd rather have any burger.

Speaker 2 Okay, so any type of meat. She asked other people and the other husbands, these beat-down poor souls that are afraid to enjoy their true loves of food.

Speaker 2 He says a grocery store rotisserie chicken over the sink, a gigantic wok full of spam-fried rice that I will eat for dinner, put the rest in the fridge, and then over the course of the next day, just grab out of the fridge and eat big spoonfuls of cold.

Speaker 1 I have another one I'm ready to admit.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it just dawned on me because I just moved back to Chicago.

Speaker 1 There's a place, a Chinese place where I love one of their, I love two of their dishes, and there's a noodles place that I love the crab rangoons in another dish.

Speaker 1 I would order from both places for dinner. Yeah.
And just do it. That's not weird.

Speaker 6 Noodles and Chinese?

Speaker 1 It would be like three entrees in an appetizer from two different places for myself. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah. Because I was like, I love this from here.
I love that from there. Why can't I get it all? So

Speaker 1 in New York, getting two deliveries is you feel like this weirdest thing about yourself.

Speaker 6 Even when the household would split, like when I was growing up, if I got one thing and my siblings got another, and it's like, what if they show up at the same time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they would oftentimes show up at the same time.

Speaker 1 Oh, this guy,

Speaker 1 this fat ass again.

Speaker 2 Only one person gets to make this delivery.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you are a fat. I am a fat ass, and you are a fat ass if you order delivery dinner from two different places at the same time.

Speaker 2 In New York, I used to look at two different Cajun restaurants, and I really liked the gumbo at at one of them, but their jambalaya wasn't as good.

Speaker 2 And the other Cajun place made great jambalaya, but not good gumbo. So I'd order the jambalaya from one, the gumbo from the other.
The Cajun delivery guys would show up.

Speaker 2 It's a wonder nobody got killed. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. It's turf war.
But you like what you like. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I used to go get a hamburger at McDonald's or a cheeseburger, and then I would, no, sorry, other way around, I would get the hamburger at Whataburger.

Speaker 2 Then I would drive across the street to McDonald's to get their fries to make the perfect fast food lunch.

Speaker 1 I would do two large Jimmy John subs. I'd go one and a half for lunch and then a half at like three o'clock.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or you get potbelly, but then you order the pickle from Jimmy John's. Their pickles way better.
Yes, yes. This guy says, Mostly I just eat my kids' food.

Speaker 2 Best case scenario is Bell and Evans' Frozen Tenders or Annie's mac and cheese. Sometimes something weirder like Dr.
Prager's broccoli littles or fish sticks. This guy sucks.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 This guy shouldn't be allowed to comment on husband meal.

Speaker 1 Fish sticks? Yeah. You're

Speaker 1 going fish sticks? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 To be clear, husband meal is not the result of a helpless 1950s era man left to his own devices. It's 2023.
Men know how to cook and they regularly do some at home. They care about restaurants.

Speaker 2 They still watch Top Chef and have opinions on single-origin spices. I don't think we do.

Speaker 2 Does anybody here have an opinion on single-origin spices?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't. Don't care.
No, my

Speaker 1 lack of opinion is an opinion.

Speaker 2 I will never care about single-origin spices.

Speaker 1 This just sounds like an entire article about Frank's cooks.

Speaker 2 You know what this sounds like to me?

Speaker 1 Like, did you see his chili dogs?

Speaker 2 Yeah, did you see his chicken that he pounded out in the kitchen?

Speaker 2 And just salmonella went flying all across his.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what, the man knows how to cook.

Speaker 2 They say by the time they've reached their 30s and 40s, they've had to develop taste in all aspects of their lives. Partly, I assume, because of the beautiful and perfect women with whom they live.

Speaker 2 This just seems like she wanted to write an article just insulting her husband.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Be like, look how gross he is when I'm not around him. Yeah.
He needs me every day to take care. He needs me to wipe his mouth off after he's done.

Speaker 2 If it wasn't for me, he'd be dead of malnutrition somewhere just because the poor guy wanted to order a side of wings with his enchiladas.

Speaker 1 Wait till she finds out what we do at the hotel lobby little like mini mini mart. Yeah, I fucking go crazy in there.
Yep. I go fucking nuts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, basically, when you take your husband to a movie, the candy that he orders, that is ideally what he would like to eat every night that you're out. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Just a big bag of junior mint, gigantic popcorn,

Speaker 2 sour patch kids, and maybe some chocolate-covered peanuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This is crazy that she's, come on.
This guy should get to do what they...

Speaker 1 All right. Here's another alternative.

Speaker 1 Instead of him ordering like $70 worth of Taco Bell, he could cheat on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So which one's better? Yeah. Right?

Speaker 2 The husband meal might be another pussy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Husband meal's pretty good when you put it into context. Yeah, this is pretty good.

Speaker 2 If this is the biggest complaint that you have about your guy, you're doing all right.

Speaker 1 Right, right. Husband meal.
I love it.

Speaker 2 It's almost like she uses the term husband as a slur, too.

Speaker 2 The H-word.

Speaker 1 This gross guy I live with, he orders a shitload of food when I'm out of town.

Speaker 2 My husband eats Mexican food and fried chicken at the same time.

Speaker 1 I haven't

Speaker 1 piece of shit. I will say I haven't thought about the double order dinner in a long time, and that does kind of gross me out thinking.

Speaker 2 No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
It's such a good one. It's a strong move.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just some places have great dishes. And this one place had great crab rangoons.
So it's like, I have to get those, and I have to also get these.

Speaker 1 Why not both? That's pretty much what husband meal is. It's the meme, why not both?

Speaker 2 I think I want to eat a dinner with this chick's husband.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
Just sit on the couch,

Speaker 1 use your sock as your napkin. Yeah.
Sounds like a great dice.

Speaker 2 That's what every guy wants to do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not wear a shirt, probably.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Just tops off in case you you spill on yourself.

Speaker 1 I can't eat without a shirt on. I can't do a lot of things without a shirt on.
Why not? I mean, have you seen me? It's getting bad. Yeah, but if you eat with a battle.
Ozempic's going to be sick.

Speaker 2 If you eat without a shirt on, then you don't have to do laundry afterwards.

Speaker 1 Why'd you give me that face? You don't think I should do Ozempic? No. Are you going to be one of those haters who calls me fat and being like, you're going to die of diabetes?

Speaker 1 And then when I lose 30 pounds in Ozempic, they're going to be like, you cheater. I've seen you lose weight before.
Dude, it's harder now.

Speaker 2 You know what this seems like to me? It seems like Hank wants to keep you fat so no one else else will love you.

Speaker 1 No, I mean I've seen my 800 pound life or whatever.

Speaker 2 Those people's partners are fucked up.

Speaker 1 The problem is, the problem is when you have kids,

Speaker 1 I pretend that my kids are fully grown adults.

Speaker 1 So when I order, like I took my four and two-year-old out to dinner tonight, there was actually some stoolies in the restaurant who can be like, yep, this did happen.

Speaker 1 I ordered two huge entrees and they maybe ate like a little piece of both. And I was like, oh yeah, he'll have this.
Like the other night I ordered Chinese.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, yeah, my four-year-old, yeah, he'll do the kung pao chicken. He didn't fucking touch it.

Speaker 1 And I had, like, so that's my problem: I'm, I'm pretending every time I order, I'm ordering for five, including my fucking two-month-old, and it's really just for me. So that's the problem.

Speaker 6 And you guys can't lose weight off the kids' menu a lot.

Speaker 1 Yo, dude, I have a grilled cheese with every minute every single time I go out. You've got new food rocks.
I have a side of grilled cheese. Yeah, mac and cheese.
Like, amazing.

Speaker 1 It's going to have to be Ozempic or Manchuro, whatever it's called. Charles Barkley.

Speaker 1 If Chuck does it, I feel like I know his whole thing is I'm not a role model, but he is in this respect.

Speaker 2 So you're going to support me? Has he lost weight?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's lost a lot of weight. Chuck? Yeah.
He's just done the Manjuro.

Speaker 1 I think that's what it's called.

Speaker 1 Bungerno.

Speaker 2 Listen. Manchuro?

Speaker 2 San Antonio only?

Speaker 1 I'm being, I feel like I'm the opposite of all these Hollywood celebs who do it and don't say they do it. And they're like, oh, I've just been working out.

Speaker 1 If I start this Ozempic, I'm going to tell everyone.

Speaker 2 What even is Ozempic?

Speaker 1 It just makes you not hungry. It's just a pill? It's a shot, I think.
Oh, yeah, I know that part of it.

Speaker 2 There's probably no side effects whatsoever to it. None.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 We all know these drugs.

Speaker 2 They've been coming out for the last 50 years.

Speaker 2 They're appetite suppression drugs that will not fuck you up in any way possible.

Speaker 1 Fine, I'll try the old-fashioned way again, and it's going to fail again. Kettle.

Speaker 1 All right. Sure.
Are we going going to do numbers still?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got to. Let's just do random numbers.
This is just going to be the

Speaker 1 deadball error. Like when we look back on it, it's like no one counts these numbers.

Speaker 1 Give me 85.

Speaker 2 Give me 17.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll take 69.

Speaker 1 Are you watching? Are you watching?

Speaker 1 Harry, you want one?

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. What number? You ever gotten this?

Speaker 1 27.

Speaker 1 I can't wait till we get the new lottery ball machine for our new office, and you will never have gotten it.

Speaker 1 It's gonna be great. You're not gonna get it.
I'm gonna get it first. No, you aren't.
And then you're not gonna get it

Speaker 1 a thousand bucks right now. You don't get it first.

Speaker 1 Before you. No, no.
You don't get it first.

Speaker 1 That's a bad, that's bad odds. Well, yeah, no, duh.
1v1.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Deal. Deal.
All right.

Speaker 1 33.

Speaker 2 Larry Bird.

Speaker 6 All right. So we're not adding this to the record or any of that.

Speaker 2 Oh, return the charger.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Perfect honor.

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see everyone Wednesday.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 I'll become the love of the kid.

Speaker 2 Make me up

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 leave one

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 me as you say

Speaker 2 I'll say it's about me standing over

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 you're not each other

Speaker 2 say I'll be

Speaker 2 better till you say you can sign up

Speaker 2 It's the better till you can say you can sorry

Speaker 2 me.

Speaker 2 I will be gone.

Speaker 2 You know, you'll take me

Speaker 2 all up.

Speaker 2 Just a payment, but we wait.

Speaker 2 You all think I've got to even

Speaker 2 shine away.

Speaker 2 All the current people anyway. Take

Speaker 2 on me.