Josh Duhamel, Mt Rushmore Of Manly Things That We Wish We Could Do And Dan Snyder Has Officially Sold The Team

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have a recurring guest, and I think maybe our best friend now, Josh Duhamel. He has a new show coming out called Buddies, and we get into the story of him just like the best friend to all his best friends uh and i think he's now our best friend great interview with him and we have mount rushmore of manly things we wish we could do uh the washington commanders officially have a new owner we're gonna talk some open championship and then we have Firefest of the Week.
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USAA. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then I love the soft work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Friday, July 21st.
And for the last time on Pardon My Take, we will utter Dan Snyder's name. PFT.
Your team is officially free.

You have a new owner.

Congratulations.

Josh Harris, thank you.

Hank, thank you very much for finally congratulating me.

I actually found the news out today because Hank texted the group chat,

congrats.

Yep. And I saw that, and I was like, what is Hank congratulating me for?

And I looked it up.

The deal was done.

The witch is dead. Fuck you.
We won, Dan you're out bye bitch see you later i feel uh i feel a lot of emotions today i'm happy i'm still angry at the man i don't think that we should ever say his name again he's paying a 60 million dollar fine on his way out the door that was the price for his indiscretions 60 million dollars for fraud and for sexual harassment which hilariously reduces the value of the team to 5.9 billion dollars so that'll teach him a lesson yep he only made uh 5.1 billion dollars profit off this sale so owners will think twice before before fooling around with the books it was a funny day they were were having their big league meeting up in Minnesota. Jerry Jones showed up, and he looked like a geriatric Top Gun pilot, saying that he was looking forward to going out to D.C.
to administer some capital punishment. I think Jerry actually thought that he was going to kill Dan Snyder today.
I think that in his mind, Jerry Jones saw it like the meeting in Goodfellas where they were supposed to make somebody snyder steps in the door boom shoot him in the back of the head uh so i was i was happy to see jerry happy in that regard i've got a couple dan snyder facts here can i can i run through some of the greatest hits of the dan snyder era and then we'll be done talking about this bitch for forever yes please uh all right we yeah we by the way we all congratulated you minus one person um but i think that person's a little upset because they got their owner stolen today because if you read josh harris's uh you know opening memo to the washington community he was like this is going to be my main focus i'm going to bring a super bowl to the washington you know fans the best fans in the world he grew up a fan of the team yeah he's so you know that that's probably going to be his biggest priority it's going to be everything else is on the back burner i think is exactly what he said he's like all the other teams that i own don't know which ones they even are anymore joel who yeah who's the guy that i gotta take care of in philly i forget no i don't care about him i don't care about him but yeah more he's got us in the right direction max did not congratulate pft he was the only one that's fine well we congratulate him a million losers yeah no we have we have we've done a lot of we've how many we we popped we literally popped champagne in december for this yeah you came over to my desk in december and we popped champagne because of dan slander someone gets proposed you congratulate him then you do the party before and then you do the wedding like it's all it's all one one congratulations yeah yeah pft is basically like uh you know instead of birthday month he had uh owning our owner selling a team year yeah and it's a good year. It's the best season that we've had in the last 30 years

of being a fan of this team.

All right, so yeah, give us the facts.

Some fun facts, okay?

Dan Snyder, in his ownership tenure

for the Washington Redskins Commanders football team,

had an equal number of playoff wins,

team name changes, and botched Sean Taylor days.

Two for both of them. He had more team names than first team all pros in the entire 24 years he had two all pros two first team all pros one was this year a special teams guy jeremy reeves not a knock against that but like if that's one of your all pro guys that's like that's one of them the other was was a guard was brendan sure so besides that we had no all pro players first team for the last 24 years uh we had a dea and fbi raid that nobody talks about from three years ago where they raided our team's medical facility kind of shut up about that for a while um our best player of that era trent williams left the team because dan stopped negotiating with him after he got scalp surgery because the team doctors misdiagnosed cancer on his scalp.
And then Dan said, we're not going to pay him a dime. We had to trade him for basically nothing to the 49ers where now he plays excels.
As Greg Kittle said the other day, he might be the best player in the NFL. The stadium rained shit on fans.
It literally leaked shit onto fans multiple times. The stadium also fell apart and almost killed Jalen hurts.
He sued grandmothers who couldn't pay their season ticket bill because they lost all their money in the 2008, 2009 financial crisis. Well, that wasn't his fault.
We don't know that. I'm sure he had a hand.
His grandmother grandmother's gotta pay i'm sure dan snyder had a hand in ruining the economy trust me yeah he definitely did i know a dan snyder job when i see one that had his fingerprints all over uh they installed a hooters at fedex field which rocks and then they named it after rfk because they couldn't name a stadium after him so they said we'll do the next best thing we'll name a hooters after him inside our new stadium well i mean if we know the kennedys he probably in afterlife was like that is the most tremendous honor of all time yeah just don't don't put a pool in there for people to take their dates to like the jaguars that would be a bad idea yeah or volkswagen might end up upside down in there yeah uh they never won 11 games never happened he never won 11 games he maxed out at 10 i think twice maybe every other team the nfl has had an 11 win season since at least 2008 and the washington franchise's last 11 win season was 1991 pretty bad yeah pretty bad and maybe the worst transgression he signed will Compton. Hmm.
Hmm. So that that'll tell you something about his talent evaluation right there.
Yeah. Well, there was a story that came out today where Jay Gruden said what everybody always knew, which was Dan Snyder would make all the free agency decisions, all the draft picks just based on on vibes, just going off of like games that he had seen on TV occasionally.
Or if you want a new quarterback, he would come and say, hey, I know you have a whole team of scouts whose job it is to watch tape. I just really want a new toy.
So can we get a quarterback? Okay, so only that one, because I saw that Jay Gruden quote, I actually don't think was that bad because I would do the same thing if I owned a team. I'm just being honest.
I don't don't want to be a hypocrite if I were if I owned a team I'd be like you know they'd have a draft board I'd be like no that guy lost me money in a college bowl game that guy like yeah he's pretty sick and I would I would definitely put my foot down and be like I want that guy like I watched him once and it was awesome you might do that for like the first five years but then you probably you might learn your lesson and jay gruden was saying that the owner of the the bangles used to do that except the owner of the bangles would sit in on scout meetings and actually like watch tape with the rest of the guys and they'd say yeah i still tell you what i still want that quarterback so let's draft him yeah so jay was like i respected that at least i yeah that would maybe be i would maybe try to at least learn a little bit of something before i uh started throwing my weight around in in the uh pre-draft meetings but i i just know that like that's one and i think you probably would be the same way i think everyone here would be the same way that if you owned a team you would definitely be like no it's my team i'm making the decision this guy's cool let's draft him yep yeah i i definitely would have that that itch of like a fantasy football owner where it's like i like this guy have you seen his spiral yeah right yeah brady quinn one one yeah exactly uh let's see what else they gave albert haynesworth a hundred million dollars and all he did was fail conditioning tests and then he took a nap on monday night football in the middle of a play and then he started getting speeding tickets left and right. And he basically quit playing football so that he could drink at the bar and tell friends how cool his boat was.
That was, that was Albert Haynes worth the rest of his career. Basically he, Dan Snyder also saw the oversaw the worst playing field, maybe in the history of American sports at FedEx field, didn't do anything to change it.
A few fun leg injuries that occurred on that field that was not changed. RG3 ruined him.
Chase Young, Alex Smith almost killed Alex Smith. Joe Burrow, Adrian Peterson, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Allen.
Just a few names right off the top there. Really, the list goes on and on and on.
I could say a whole bunch more things about the man that I've probably already said ad nauseam for the last seven years, but I'm glad that he's gone. He's gone.
He can't hurt me anymore. I'm excited.
Bye, bitch. And major shout out to Jim Irsay, because who would have ever thought that Jim Irsay would have been the one that got this ball rolling when he sat in the golf cart smoking a cigarette outside the owner's meeting saying I think the time has come to do something about Dan Snyder and at the time we discussed it because you remember the conversation that we had where I said I would become a Colts fan and a Colts season ticket holder if this made Dan Snyder sell the team I vaguely remember that and I'm going to say right now that you don't have to do that based on the Colts new uniforms today when everyone is releasing like the coolest new uniforms.
And then the Colts were like, hey, what if we just were Duke football? And it was it's hard to fuck up a uniform release. The Colts did it.
So I'm going to give you an out just based on that. Well, it's too i already bought cold season tickets oh nice uh i'm going to be giving them away to youngsters or just really anybody that i feel like how much how much did that cost uh 1200 bucks okay oh that's pretty cheap yeah pretty reasonable i mean i didn't get great seats i wasn't gonna get match for that i wasn't gonna get fantasy seats yeah you want to match yeah i'll match fuck it okay so now 1200 big cat and i will be giving away colt colt tickets every home game this year i guess we're going to be anthony richardson fans too was it just game time i'll do it right now yeah it was 1250 for season tickets so i i picked those up i'll match you got to figure out a way to give them away during the season though people.
People need to submit something to us. I would like to send youngsters, though.
I just like saying I send a youngster to a game. We also should.
I mean, Jake's going to have to do this. I don't want to be in charge of actually having to give away any of these tickets.
What if we did a Jim Ursa lookalike contest for kids? So get dressed dressed up in your, in, in like a Jim Ursa outfit and the best ones, baby Ursa. Yeah.
There'll be baby Ursa seats. Yeah.
Well, all right. Okay.
I'm going to, I'm going to buy. I mean, they are the ugliest uniforms.
Did you guys see those? I saw those. I didn't, I didn't necessarily hate the black helmets, but they don't look like Colts uniforms.
It's just so hard to, like, basically teams now just release new variations

of their jersey, throwbacks, which the Seahawks, that one rules.

I saw the Browns did white helmets.

They basically can release anything, and it will be like instant 2,000 quote tweets,

just fire emoji.

And then I saw the Colts today.

I was like, well, I guess you tried.

I mean, good try, guys. But now I'm a Colt season ticket holder i'm gonna do it right now they kind of look like they look like what section did you get them in uh let me look it up because i'm gonna get the same section well i don't know that you can get seats right next to me because it was a pair of seats that were kind of by themselves was it was in the corner of the end zone oh they're they're not in the corner of the end zone, but they're not good seats.
Kind of in the corner of the end zone. Yeah.
Yeah. We're in section six, 18.
Okay, great. I'm going to get six, 18 as well.
So we'll just be giving away six, 18 every single time. Six, 18 to six, 18 crew.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Two, two lucky four lucky fans going to Colts games.
How do we want to select each week? week? Do I just pick or do we want them? I think people should have to pay us. Face value at least.
I don't know. We'll figure out some way to determine who to give away.
I'm sure that we have a lot of listeners in Indianapolis that I'd ideally like to give it to people that wouldn't be able to go see the games otherwise. We got to go if they have a Monday night game.
So we take the good games. Yeah, we'll know.
The games are the early slate. There's two TBD games at the end of the season, but everything else is the early slate.
You have to predict whether or not the roof is going to be open. And then when Mr.say makes his decision about the roof being closed or not we'll pick somebody who had the correct answer to that this is gonna be great i'm doing it right now i'm literally buying it right now yeah 12 50 yeah you can just log on they got you have plenty of good seats still available also some bad ones yeah congrats to whoever's gonna get to sit in our four seats every single game we could do lottery ball yeah we there's a lot of shit we could do and when i say we uh it is you jake right but yeah you're gonna decide how we're picking i'm gonna i'm gonna buy these tickets and transfer them all to you right now and you're gonna have to do it okay but that's fine bottom line is i want to say a big smooch.
Yeah. I just, I just want to kiss his face.
I just want to grab his cheeks and just plant one right on that, right on that mug of his. Thank you.
Thank you, sir. Yeah.
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What did he end up getting on that last hole? Was it like an eight? Nine. Nine.
Oh, brutal. So, yeah, the course is kicking ass, and our guy Max is looking good.
He wrote on his golf glove NFG, which afterwards he was asked about it, and he said he can't say it because it's a bad word, so'm assuming it's no fucks given uh oh what not not a racial slur no not a really racial slur but he is uh yeah like whatever works works if he has to write that on his cleats great i don't care so max looked good brooks looked good we're gonna have ourselves a nice open championship yeah it's a nice leaderboard already and it's it's a cool open leaderboard because you've got some players from countries that you usually don't see on the leaderboard of a masters the guy that's tied for the lead right now it's like Emilio right Emiliano yeah from Argentina and there's an amateur who's tied for the leader who's like 6'8 I don't know how he plays golf I was reading about it I think think they made a rule about how long the drivers can be. So if you watch him drive, he has to kind of dip down and almost bet he looks like he's swinging with baby clubs.
He also had one where he's in the bunker and he had his leg up and he just has the longest legs ever. But yeah, it's a mix of like weird names and big names and yeah I'm this course hopefully it gets even harder because I just love the course the court like watching guys have to hit out of bunkers and just be fucked because they you know hit a perfect shot and then just rolled into the bunker 200 yards down down the fairway like it's it's beautiful yeah there was maybe the highlight of the day was victor hovland so the course showed up big time but the course also had some assistance from the wildlife yes a bird flew right over his head and took a shit on his arm as he's about to take a shot and he takes a step back and he just goes i got i got shot on i got shot on by a bird yeah and he was fantastic he shouldn't have off.
It's good luck. Yep.
We also had people bitching about the NBC coverage. You know that you're in trouble when Hugh Freeze is the first to chime in.
He was upset about the commercials. I had that too.
I didn't realize it was on like four different streaming apps at once. And it was hard to follow.
I don't know how they, I just don't understand how golf coverage can still be so difficult to follow, to watch. It just makes no sense to me.
Not next week. Next week, barstool.tv.
It'll be great. The plug god.
The plug god. I love it.
Plug in our company. When they do the picture-in-picture commercials, I don't think they realize that it's a golf ball and when it's basically on half the screen you can't see the ball so it's basically useless yeah like they try and do the the playing through thing and you just can't see anything that's going on there was a moment i was watching uh on the peacock app and trey wingo was in studio and they were talking and as they were were talking on a small screen behind them, Rory missed that putt from five feet that came backwards at him.
And I was like, how is it possible that we didn't get to see this? So someone's got to be able to figure out golf coverage. Maybe it's Jake Marsh.
Maybe he will save us. I've got an idea.
Here's how you fix. On 18 fix on on 18 yeah oh what do you do his caddy was standing directly behind him uh too close to when he hit his shot and they didn't give him a penalty when he was in the bunker wait you're not allowed to do that no i'll send you the i mean it's it's obviously like super golf hardos but it's it is a rule And once again, it's just Rory, so they let him get away with it.
Damn. Interesting.
Fuck. I was just going to say the way to fix golf coverage, it's pretty easy.
You just show every fucking shot. Yeah.
Yeah. And have it live.
And then have like a sponsor, have like a Rolex logo in the bottom right-hand corner. Yeah.
Boom. Yeah.
Now, in the weekend, you don't care what the 57th place guy is shooting on the eighth hole.

No, no.

But the first round, you need to see every shot.

First round.

There was a shitload of shots that you didn't see.

And then on the weekend, Jake, it's simple.

You show every shot from the top like 10 guys.

They do a good job with that when they just like lock in on the leaders.

I just want to give more credit to the golf cameraman.

Again, I think that's probably the hardest job in sports.

Also, we had a very cool leaderboard wrinkle.

If you look at it right now, it has Jordan and then Spieth right underneath it.

So Matthew Jordan, who is, I think, from Liverpool,

and then Jordan Spieth is right under it. It just looked like he was listed twice and kind of rocked.
He's the club champ. This is a really boring thing for me to say out loud.
But I did see it and was like, this is cool. That's really lame now that I'm saying it, that I got pumped up for that.
But I did. I saw it and I was like, whoa, his name's twice it's the same like the uh leaderboard where it says scott van pelt when it was adam scott and then bo van pelt yeah yeah isn't that his twitter banner picture i think so yeah yeah yeah either way good good job i'm looking at this this tweet that you just sent over here the uh the allowed and not allowed you can't tell shit from that angle his caddy might be off to the side oh wow they really got into this Jesus Christ I didn't know this was a rule I'm looking at the shadows oh my god oh I see why Hank is on board with this because it's it was promoted by live golf enthusiasts.
Well, no, I'm I bet a lot of money. I bet a lot of money on Rory to miss the cut.
So he goes in the and I was like, oh my God, this is happening. This is happening.
This is happening and he somehow saved par and then it comes out. He cheated.
So it's like you know, I don't want to win like that Hank. I want to win.
Well, I don't want him to hit the second bunker shot out like i that was a crazy shot crazy putt but i think you want him to be dq'd i think you should get stroked there was he should get stroked there was also that moment where it looked like he was going to shoot a shot with the ball right up against the bunker and just try to get out just straight out and the crowd erupted i would absolutely let the crowd dictate it because it was it was one of those moments like should i do it should i go full send here and the crowd was like yeah fucking do it i would just be like fuck it and i would just be stuck in that bunker right now i know it's anti golf etiquette but like i it it is fun rooting that's the only person i bet to miss the cut so when this is happening i was like let's go let's like it's it's fun it's kind of fun to root for bad shots obviously when they're great golfers it doesn't really happen but when that happened i was like this is all this is all happening yeah yeah so uh i don't know if you guys saw but uh liverpool the beatles go on they're from there no way yeah yeah i don't know if you saw during the broadcast i knew they were from london i didn't know what part of the city it was i i maybe i just caught every time they came back from from uh commercial break but it was every single time they're like look at this john there was one

story they were like john lennon used to walk by this golf course and uh like you know his initial songs that he you know wrote for the beatles were probably dancing in his head as he walked by this golf like john lennon pretty sure grew up pretty poor probably was like fuck this fuck this golf course but yeah why not let's just probably got high on that golf course yeah yeah they probably

did I'm pretty sure it grew up pretty poor. Probably was like, fuck this.
Fuck this golf course. But yeah, why not? They probably got high on that golf course.
Yeah. Yeah.
They probably did. Probably took some acid on the 17th green.
Yeah. Yeah.
The Beatles. The Beatles.
All right. What else we got? We have more out of Northwestern.
Yeah. The quote that went viral, which I didn't appreciate, but it was talking about the Northwestern ha hazing it was weirdo fat guys on the team doing weird fat guy shit uh brutal for fat guys everywhere because i think everyone knows like when you're like yeah weirdo fat guys doing weird fat guy shit everyone's mind could be like oh yeah they they do sometimes do weird fat guy shit so that's fat fat guy shit.
That's code for like offensive line shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's offensive linemen.

It's,

you know,

it's usually dick and balls.

It's something weird happening.

Yeah.

It sucks.

It's,

you know,

weird fat guys had a bad day.

Like if you're a weird fat guy and you logged on Twitter today,

you're like,

fuck,

this is not my day.

Yeah.

And,

and the report was that the hazing apparently went back like decades back to the 90s so that naturally does beg the question what did darren revel know how long has he known it for what did he cover up also he's been he's he's the first person that i think of when you say okay name somebody that's been actively interested in everything northwestern sports since the 90s yeah there's one guy and that's jenry reval he did have a very cryptic tweet that i think is all i can guess he he said uh i am thoroughly embarrassed for my profession and oh billy's billy's frozen uh for this show so i think he just tried to say something from like two minutes ago If I had to guess billy's saying like low-key though you need weird fat guy shit to make your team good yes it looks like he's doing the lebron powder thing he's gone billy's like dude if it happened since 1990 that's not hazing that's tradition yeah like it's a big difference also if you didn't come it's not

gay or if it happened underwater uh billy you're back what were you gonna say about weird fat guy shit offensive linemen just have a different culture okay um so back to revel he said i'm thoroughly embarrassed for my profession. think this is his cryptic way of being like pro hazing which is i never thought i'd see that from revel i was very confused by revel's tweet because when i first saw it i first of all i thought i missed some major news that broke but there's nothing out there it's just darren revel tweeting his emotions out and my first reaction was like either i missed something no i didn't miss anything but but what is darren revell's profession yeah because as far as i know darren revell is he's in the business of being darren revell so he's in the business of sports betting and memorabilia collector of tickets yeah i when i saw this tweet i was like

has something happened to the martin luther king jr collectibles like what what what profession is he speaking about yeah i don't i don't know really a journalist anymore right yeah so i think he's talking my best guess is he thinks that being a northwestern graduate is his profession and he's embarrassed for how this is being all

disseminated by the media i don't know it's crazy it's it's so funny too because when you look at that tweet and then look at the avatar of the man that sent it yeah and he's saying i'm thoroughly embarrassed for my profession it's revel sitting there with what appears to be um seven or eight celery stalks and he's

covered head to toe in buffalo

wing sauce wearing goggles.

So I don't... what appears to be seven or eight celery stalks, and he's covered head to toe in buffalo wing sauce wearing goggles.

So I don't know what profession he's taught.

Like Darren Revelle's profession is being Darren Revelle,

Northwestern graduate Darren Revelle.

Being an annoying guy online at all times.

Yeah, it's a dark day for those of us that like to wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning

and tweet out high-definition videos of John F. Kennedy's brains being splattered all over the streets of Dallas, Texas.
It was a dark day indeed. He's on some fucking emo, like, drunk girl shit with this sub-tweet.
I'm just going to tweet this out there and hope everyone can kind of figure out what I'm saying, but I don't have the the balls to say it i'm so embarrassed for all those people out there in my line of work who just regurgitate press releases from major corporations it's a sad day oh man oh that's funny call me racist on this day when i when i own nine or more pieces of mlk merchandise over nine black friends over nine which is 10 that's funny that's cute that's funny that's cute that's cute on this day of all days to call me racist all right what else do we what else we got going on i i did you guys see lane kiffin he looks good's been in the sun a lot. I didn't see him, no.
I think it's SEC media day today, and there was a clip where a guy said that he oftentimes gets confused for a Kiffin, and Lane Kiffin was like, what's your mom's name? I got to ask my dad some questions. A very funny, like, back and forth.
But I just saw it in Lane Kiffin. Like, he's living his best life.
He's tan as, like, leathery skin tan. Just looking like he's just getting NIL deals done left and right, ready to win, I don't know, eight or nine games, which is good enough at Ole Miss.
So, good for Lane. Cruising the beaches with Coach O.
Yeah. Risen up all the ladies.
coach oh's just risen up everyone coach oh coach oh rizzed us up before rizz was even a thing he coach oh doesn't even have to rizz it just kind of when he opens his mouth rizz comes out you know yeah he he oozes rizz yeah it's yeah it's it's it's a little bit of like oil that he puts on to protect himself from ray baker and then just rubs it back in with the Riz. Here's how strong Coach O's Riz game is.
He literally Riz'd up the sun. Yeah.
He made the sun his best friend. He did.
He fucked the sun. Yeah.
Ray Baker. All right.
Anything else? Anything else? So we did tape our Mount Rushmore when we were all together in North Carolina. Jake and Billy.
so this is going to be obviously a little out of order, but we thought it was more important to have Mount Rushmore's when we're all together. We will be back all together for Grit Week, but Jake and Billy, how are the vibes on your team? Do you have any discussion afterwards about what took place, how you feeling, everything? We're good.
It's on to the next one we billy takes responsibility for his actions i think based off the poll why oh why does it okay i didn't hear responsibility for his actions okay i haven't heard that go go go billy no we were a bow you're allowed to speak now we were a bow. No, no, no.
Billy, you're allowed to speak now. No, we were a bow.
We were a bow versus a Barry away from winning. Like we came second very close to you guys.
I still stand by my McCaffrey pick. I think that actually helped us.
You don't think it helped us? I disagree, but it doesn't matter. But we're on to the next one.
We feel good. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait. You don't think it helped us i disagree but it doesn't matter but we're on to the next one we feel good we wouldn't no no wait wait wait you don't think the mccaffrey pick helped us no i think my absolutely helped us so when you said billy takes responsibility for his actions what did you mean by that jake For screwing up two of the four picks.

But Billy doesn't think that's the case.

Wait, wait, wait.

McCaffrey was actually the right move. Jake's putting words in your mouth.

McCaffrey was the right move.

Also, Jake said that Billy took responsibility for his actions,

but Jake didn't address the fact that he didn't get the sheet up.

Yeah.

Okay, well, that's a lie.

What about your actions?

Second of all. Bo versus Barry, I totally take...
If we had Barry Sanders... Wait.
Fuck. No, if we had Barry Sanders, we would have won.
That's the fact. McCaffrey actually helped us.
We may have won with Marshall Falk. Okay, so it sounds like you guys are not on the same page.
Yeah, we're not on the same page. I don't know how we were.
No. I thought it was over when – No, Marshall Falk.
That, by the way, that Mount Rushmore was such a cheat code for engagement because whenever you have like 12 picks of an entire history of a position, everyone's just going to respond with their personal favorite running back. I think I even saw a how do you guys not even mention Steven Jackson? I was like, well, I don't think he's a Mount Rushmore running back.
He was good. But like it's my favorite type of because it is everyone's personal fandom comes out, which I respect the hell out of.
But it is just such a cheat code because when you have such a finite amount of picks of course there's going to be huge misses like billy and jake missing marshall falk we could also do a mount rushmore pretty good marshall falk was not a miss no one gives a fuck about marshall falk i'm sorry besides replies no one gives a fuck that's wrong billy marshall falk was really fucking good no yeah billy i think marshall falk is the only player in nfl history to have three rushing touchdowns in the same game and also have a game where he had 200 yards receiving yeah he was he was like the first of a new generation of like game changers also i apologize for saying wasn't good enough to be good enough for the old people, like for older guys. I apologize for saying that Billy took responsibility for his actions because I must've misread the tweet.
We were a boat versus Barry from winning today. I take full responsibility at PMT sports biz.
So I guess that's on me. I, I, I saw that he said, I take full responsibility.
But, and then I'd mentioned it mentioned it on here, and he freaks out. But he said publicly that he takes full responsibility.
Well, that's his Billy Hot Takes account. That's not it.
I take full. Oh, right, right, right.
It's in the name. It's a hot take.
You said he takes full responsibility. Billy, I'm just curious.
Mix them up. Billy, I'm just just curious from your perspective, what percentage do you think the responsibility lies with Jake on that for not having a sheet? No, no.
I mean, I think the audible to McCaffrey actually like saved us points. I think we would have been in third place.
We picked Marshall Falk. Right, but my question was, is it like 5%, 10%

Jake not having the sheet?

I mean,

he didn't have the sheet up. We usually have

a sheet and he usually points at it.

Go watch the YouTube.

Go subscribe to the YouTube and you can see

our eyes.

Marshall Falk, by the way, is number one.

Do you have the tape?

Yeah, go to the YouTube.

Marshall Falk is number one all-time receiving yards for running back in 12 all-time rushing yards. That's pretty fucking good.
It's pretty good, yeah. That's pretty goddamn good.
Eighth all-time. But his name gets overshadowed by so much better players.
Yeah, he was good, but if you throw a Christian McCaffrey in there, that more of a spike for like modern fans i mean christian mccaffrey could end up having a career better than marshall fuck but right now he is not better than marshall not yet not yet does anyone remember johnny unitas they do but like not as a great i i think a lot of people say he's just there yeah he's he's definitely remembered as great he's 100 great guy. What about Joe Namath, Billy? Yeah, Joe Namath had more interceptions.
Well, he beat Johnny Unitas. Than touchdowns, right? So who the fuck's Johnny Unitas? This is football history with Billy Football.
We should remake NFL. Remember when they had Drunk History? We should remake NFL films with Billy Football.
And it's just Johnny Unitas throwing interceptions. This guy wasn't.
Who the fuck remembers him? Actually doing a drunk history of certain memories that you have in the NFL, like certain games or certain players, that would actually be very good. Yeah.
There's also visual evidence of Billy staring at my computer before the pick was made oh wow he's going in because i was looking for i was looking for the name and he's trying to find silent bad podcasting i was trying to i was trying to find where on the sheet where it was i was like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck uh bo jackson yeah i couldn't see it it is also very funny that billy's trying to lecture us on uh on the history of the greatest nfl running backs of all time but he's a person that doesn't know the difference between bojacks and barry sanders that's a very good point that's a very good we're good billy we're on to the next we got points on the board it does not sound like you guys we're gonna we're gonna win it does not you guys you took full responsibility what happens when you win mount rushmore what do you get because that's what we're getting okay oh you know what let's do the mount rushmore first let's do mount rushmore then we'll do josh dumo because this is a perfect preview for mount rushmore uh pft who's mount rushmore brought to you by this mount rushmore of manly things we wish we could do yeah the mount rushmore of manly things that we wish we could do manly abilities that we wish that we had it's brought to you by the barstool sportsbook the part in my take the threesome bet hit today if you're watching the open championship it was more kawa max homa and who's the third ace hatton hatton oh hatton and hatton all got a par or better on the 17th hole um we've got the fleetwood Mac bet, which is a great name for a bet, rooting for both Tommy Fleetwood and Rory McIlroy to finish in the top 10. We've got all sorts of baseball bets popping up over the summertime.
I'm on the Barstool Sportsbook. I'm making an investment in the United States women's national team in their game against Vietnam.
Bitter rivalry. Can't wait to watch that action.
Women's World Cups going to be fun to bet on too. Terms apply.
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And now, here is the Mount Rushmore of manly abilities that we wish that we had. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.
We are doing the Mount Rushmore of manly traits we wish we had. This is going to be tough for Billy because I know that he saw this topic and was like, you call me a beta? No, Billy had a hard time thinking of responses because he's like, well, I can already do all this.
Yeah, so it will be a little emasculating, but guess what? We should be able to make fun of ourselves, boys. We should be able to poke fun of our own weaknesses.
So these are Mount Rushmore of manly traits we wish we had. Hank and Max are up first.
Me and PFT second. Jake and Billy third.
Hank and Max. Good luck.
Good luck. Hey, good luck.
Hey, let's have a good luck, everybody. Let's have a good one.
Let's not talk over each other. No each other no denigrating picks if you are going to denigrate a pick just say i'm not denigrating the pick but if i were to denigrate the pick here's how i'd do like that that's just decorum all right the one one manly traits that i wish i had yeah i mean it's also it's basically just like things that people in the 50s could do more or less yeah yeah Yeah.
So our first one is just an everyday handyman. Okay.
Being able to hang stuff, being able to do stuff around the house. Fix things.
Your toilet's broken. Oh, I can fix that.
I like that one. Oh, I got to hang this.
I got to build something. Yeah, have a sweet set of tools that you take on airplane flights.
And I have the tools. It's just like I'm not really that capable.
Well, not anymore. Have you guys seen? They were confiscated.
TSA airplane flights. Have you guys have the tools? It's just like, I'm not really that capable.

We're not anymore.

Have you guys seen?

They were confiscated.

Have you guys seen the like Twitter accounts that are now getting like popular where it's like back when men were men and it's like a picture of an eight year old being in the

West Virginia coal mines?

Yeah.

It's like this is when like when people died when they were 15, like wish we could go back

then.

Back when men were men.

It's a picture of like a Confederate soldier or they'll just be like, wish we could go back then. Back when men were men.
It's a picture of, like, a Confederate soldier. Or they'll just be like, it will be like a guy, like, holding up a big deer that he killed.
And then the next picture will be, like, Pride Parade. And they'll be like, we've lost our way.
Way back when men were men. And it's the Dauphin, Prince of France.
Yeah. I love those.
Like, yeah, I really wish I could go back to when middle age was like 22 years old. Okay, good pick.
Thank you. Yeah, pretty good pick.
All right, I think we should go with our one. Our one, one, yeah, right off the bat.
Being able to fix a car. So engine, I mean, I know how to change a tire, but like if you don't, that's something, but I have no idea how to do anything anything with the engine like there's nothing manlier than like steam coming out of your car popping up the top and being like oh i just gotta fix this and then we're good to go back on the road you got a bandana in your pocket that you pull out wipe your grease off your hands with it yeah just knowing knowing about cars being a car guy take a look under the hood yeah your neighbor's car is broken you're like yeah let me get a know what? You got an Allen wrench? I can fix this in two seconds.
Oh, if you fix another man's car, you get to fuck his wife. Also, that's a fact.
Also, imagine I sometimes daydream about when I take my car to the shop and then they tell me everything that's wrong with it. If I knew anything about it, I could be like, actually, you're wrong.
And being like, how about we cut that price in half buddy i know cars cars are too digitized nowadays back when men were men yeah back when cars back before back when cars were analog yeah back when cars if you got in a car accident you died every time that's when men were men no like there's too much automation and it's like hard to actually do it yeah i want to be able to kill myself on the road with a car. I don't want a robot to do it.
Yeah, now if you want to fix a car, you got to have like a computer science degree. Masters in computer science.
Yeah, exactly. All right, that's our one one.
We're going to go with the ability to grow facial hair. Yeah.
Oh. Yeah, no, I'm with you.
I'm with you on that one. That's a good pick.
That is a good pick. For both of you boys.
I know, because, you know, just not there yet. Yeah.
One day, maybe. I actually read this crazy thing that men developed beards because it prevented them from getting their throats slashed in combat.
That's definitely true. It was like an extra thing of armor.
Yeah, that's true. I was like, shit.
The anonymity of this one's going to be tough. Anonymity? Yeah.
I was sayingy by default no it could be pft yeah that could easily be pft easily i actually thought about putting on a list max or hank no no yeah did i say that did i say that word right yeah it's yeah now you got also also if you have like a really weird face being able to grow facial hair over all of it is a good cover-up in case like have you ever seen somebody that normally has a beard that has to shave out of nowhere and how hideous they look? It's gross. It's so gross.
And then they have to take pictures for a photo shoot the next Monday. Hank had this look on his face like, are you talking about me? I actually thought you were talking about me too for a second.
I was like, wait, more context. I'm good.
No, all the young listeners grow beard. It does wonders.

I'm going to go rogue on this one

for a 2-2.

Yes, yes, yes.

Team sport.

No, let him go rogue.

Jake, let him go.

Let him go, Jake.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jake, Jake, have you

been allowing Billy to go rogue?

Yeah. I like this too.
Yes. No.
We can save that. Okay.
You can save that. They can save that.
This is a good one. What do you say, Shane? No, but I don't think.
Rogue. It's manly.
It's manly. All right, wait.
Let's hear their pick. Grilly meat successfully.
Okay. Okay.
Not good. be more manly cooking okay really meat not cooking no no that's fine yeah barbecue yeah yeah okay yeah cooking out smoking running the grill good yeah smoking the grill meat running the grill but if you weren't gonna go, I'm not denigrating.
I'm not denigrating. If I wasn't going to denigrate it, I would say that manliness is just eating whatever you cook as badly as it's cooked on the grill.
Manliness is doing a Twitter thread of your pork shoulder and fucking it up so bad that everyone's like, holy fuck, Billy, what did you do? But not going to denigrate, and I'm not talking about anything specifically. It's fucking right to fuck.
It's amazing for interaction. Yeah.
No, that's good. I'm not denigrating.
I just say I can't relate to that one. Yeah.
I'm Mr. Grillmaster.
I just wish I was able to grill meat successfully. Okay.
So, Big Cat, I think that we got a lot. Yeah, we got a lot.
I like number four. Okay.
That we have on the list. can save that you think so yeah i don't think these guys are gonna or they're not gonna do it okay so you want to go with is number two can you guys like ever just like meet beforehand that's we we do we have a whole list but then it's just too redundant i i would say i'm playing bingo yeah no it's ridiculous yeah i don't think it is five okay number two that's actually you guys can actually pick our next one yeah all right yeah you want one five okay all right we should let it pick okay yeah we'll do number five okay opening opening a bottle without a can opener or a bottle opener yeah so whether it's like your hands your hands doing the doing the lighter.
Yep. On the end of a table.
Great pick. That was you guys got to pick.
That's a great pick by Hank. That's a great pick by Hank.
No, good pick Hank. Good pick.
That's pretty childlike. That's a good pick.
Like a man has a bottle opener on his keychain for his home that he owns. Do you? No.
Yeah. What's it? My bottle opener? Yeah.
That's not manly. You need a tool to open your bottles where we can just do it with our hands.
No, that's like civilized man. No, I control my own destiny when I have a bottle.
Yeah. College kids do that.
They're not really grown. Because they're not men.
That's a great point, Billy. Hank just picked a random number and we had a great pick.
No, it's... That's a good pick.
We're going to go with our one, two. Thank you, Hank.
You're welcome. Well, yeah.
Thanks for me. I just want us to draft pick uh we're gonna go with our one two thank you hank you're welcome uh well yeah thanks thanks for me i just want us this draft uh we're gonna go with heavy lifting okay just working out just anything if you know you're you have to move something like hey can you help me move this giant you know bureau and it's like a struggle that's one of those ones that it's like because we're true we draft mount rushmore true to form does not apply to me in PFT.
Got it. I just moved in an entire house on my own.
That's a lie. All on my own.
What are you going to say, Max? I took a piano upstairs by myself. It doesn't necessarily have to do with moving.
If you're rearranging something in the house, and as the man of the house, it's like, oh, yeah, can you go pick that up? Again, I know i don't know what i mean how often do you have to fix your car i dude i wish i could fix my car every day tune it up no you don't yeah no you don't yeah i wish just needs a new spark plug yeah just the rotary diggers checking the rotary diggers uh and then our next one i guess you'll probably say this doesn't apply to you guys either, is being a good fighter.

Okay.

Just being able to look at someone, size them up, be able to beat the fuck out of them. We had that on our list.

Yeah.

Ours was boxing, which is more manly.

Yeah.

I mean, there's a lot of ways to do it.

I mean, it's like, you could say martial arts would be cool.

So now we can take the pick that we didn't take.

Yeah, we can take that pick, and it's a great one.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're going to take woodworking skills.

Being able to use a saw.

We had it. Being able to build a deck.
A table. Building things.
Carpentry. Yeah.
Okay. We're going to take woodworking skills.
Being able to use a saw. We had it.

Being able to build a deck.

A table.

Building things.

Carpentry.

Yeah.

Carpentry.

Building things with your hands.

Woodworking.

Basically, Ron Swanson.

Yeah.

I don't know how to build anything.

I wish I could.

It's different than fixing stuff.

It's building things.

Oh, you need a shed?

I'll build a shed.

Even applying lacquer to something and then making the wood nice and shiny. that's staining a deck oh yeah state yeah uh putting uh what like uh burying uh foundation and cement something like that maybe repaving your driveway oh chopping down trees building a log cabin oh by hand abraham lincoln shit That's how deep our draft is.
That was the pick we were going to take. We took Abraham Lincoln third as a man.
Unbelievable fighter. So we actually got fighting, too.
Yeah, he's a good wrestler. Wrestled a bear, right? That's badass.
All right. Can you tell us which one's rogue before you do it? Okay.
So here's our non-rogue one. Okay.
But down the graphic. Being non-allergic to dogs.
No. Being a morning person.
Like. That's the non-rogue one? No.
Being a morning person. Men wake up.
They're like waking up at 5 a.m. And they can get up quickly.
It's like, what the hell? This is Billy's brain just completely poisoned by the weightlifting influencers on Instagram being like, if you wake up at 4 a.m., you basically have 28 hours in your day. You have three days in a day.
But the thing is, we never wake up early. When I sleep at night, I actually sleep.
I wake up early every day. I sleep inside of a cold plunge.
Yeah. Oh, wait.
So you're saying I'm more manly than you?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Nice.

I appreciate that.

No, but like waking up early is a state of mind, too.

I feel like I'm up early all the time.

As someone who does wake up early, it fucking sucks.

Yeah, but like you do it.

Like you don't make any excuses.

Yeah, because I have to.

Yeah.

Early is also-

That's a man-ass thing.

You have to wake up early, so you do.

Early is very relative, too.

That is true. Like if you go to bed late what's early and uh go rogue go rogue rogue rogue if i go rogue what's your rogue tell me tell me if i go rogue the listeners have to reward me or i won't go not how it works that's pandering tell me tell me your rogue illegal's whispering.
Did you hear it? I heard it, yeah. Can you say it? Sorry, is it not your pick? I think Billy said operating a lethal weapon system.
All right, being able to operate multiple weapon systems. That's nerd shit.
No, it's not. That's how you kill people.
No. All right.
Go ahead, Jake. What's your last pick? Being able to fall asleep at any time.
What the fuck? Oh, my God. All right.
You know what? I'm going to stand in and say you guys get the rogue pick. Yeah.
Your pick was bad, Jake. That was really bad.
Being able to fall asleep? Yeah. No.
That's a bad thing. No, but that's not manly.
That's a weakness. It's a dad move dad move Yeah, it's a dad move Not a manly move I think that I just like Assume these are all dad Alright, let's just go with Owning a house No, no, no, no, no, no I actually think We're spending 24 hours Operating Yeah, not a good thing What is it exactly? Operating Just knowing your way around weapons Okay, that's fine that's a good pick good pick

that's the best of those three picks like guys who can know how to like bit like to break down their weapon and rebuild their weapon and clean it and stuff like that's like maybe that's what we need to do for these guys every fourth pick they can throw out three options and we'll pick the best man rushmore is the worst thing i ever am in my life that's a good life but i'm really freaking bad.

It makes you a loser.

I'm a loser.

Yes.

Okay.

You can blame it on Billy. We have a ton of stuff.
Falling asleep was Jake's pick. Falling asleep and waking up early.
It's two things that contradict each other. It's a good podcast.
I know exactly what we're doing doing I will go rogue more if we win When we go rogue Just like please Okay for last pick In manly things Being able to fuck for longer than just like a couple minutes before coming Yes That's some man shit right there That's school. No shit.
No. That's when you last forever.
What? What are you talking about? Bill? Never mind. Billy.
You got better stamina when you're young. You're just stroking it out in high school.
Incorrect. Billy, you were fucking like a porn star in high school.
Damn. No, I mean now.
Yeah. Lasting long in bed would be manly as fuck.
Yeah. to do like multiple positions i was a man before puberty yeah and and i'm not even talking about like fucking like a porn star i'm talking about like or just respectable 10 minutes yeah being able to like switch and then switch back yeah and then switch back another time yep like crazy shit still haven't nutted yet yeah not having to say to say, oh, you're just so hot.
That's why I came so fast. You know, just getting that out of the repertoire.
You came, right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Was that good for you? Yeah. At least having the girl pretend to orgasm and it's believable.
It's essentially being like being good enough that the girl tells her friends about you.

Yeah.

Can you imagine the rush that would come along with that?

You found out that that your girl was like telling all her friends how good you laid it down.

Like he fucked me for half hour.

I didn't even say an hour there.

I said a half hour.

Honestly, sounds like too much work.

It sounds like at least three injuries for me.

That's a groin, an ankle and maybe like a back yeah just give me a good 10 minutes 10 minutes would be fucking great uh okay last pick for you guys uh i think we're gonna go the historical route here doesn't imply as much anymore but it might it might still depending on the circumstance you're really couching this pick. Yeah, I'm nervous.
You afraid? Quick draw with a gun. Oh! A duel.
Being able to win a duel.

Yes. Yeah.
I'm nervous. You're afraid? Quick draw with a gun.
Oh. A duel.
Being able to win a duel. Yes.
Wait, is that not what Billy said, though? No. That's kind of in my realm.
No, you said operating weapon systems. Yeah, that's a weapon system.
You know what that means? I'm talking. They didn't have a weapon system in the 1800s.
I'm talking like. It was your fucking hand in your holster.
Clint Eastwood, quick draw with the gun. A Colt .45 is a weapon system by definition.

That's like when you're learning how to use...

We gave you six shots.

Yeah, it's quick draw with the gun.

Also, Billy said operating multiple weapon systems.

Like knowing how to use...

Yeah, like someone starts to make a move

and you shoot a bottle out of their hand.

Yeah, exactly.

All right, there's a lot that we actually have on the list

that we didn't get to.

Tying a knot, like a really good sailor's knot.

Boy scout-ish.

Okay, but that's still like, I don't know how to fucking tie.

Like if someone hands you a rope, it's like tie this boat.

Tie a bowline.

Make sure it never leaves.

I couldn't do that.

Oh, here's one that I actually wanted to pick, but being able to whistle with two fingers.

Yeah.

That would be fucking.

People at the baseball game.

Thank you. Oh, here's one that I actually wanted to pick, but being able to whistle with two fingers.

Yeah.

That would be fucking. People at the baseball game.

Like every time I see someone.

It's the scream whistle that I was.

I have a scream whistle.

Hold on, I'll show you.

Don't.

What?

That's a scream whistle.

This is PFT.

You probably wouldn't have picked this, but bartering. Yeah.
Being but but bartering yeah being a good barter and enjoying bartering like i don't i don't get in situations where i'm like maybe i could have negotiated but i just didn't want to yeah it's too awkward i love negotiating yeah but guys that will just walk up and just barter everything like that's a man everything's on the table yeah yeah i was buying a car the other week and i put down my costco card on the table. I was like, I just wanted, he asked me what my credit score was.
I was like, well, this is the kind of guy you're dealing with right now. Executive membership.
Yes. Love that.
I also had understanding the stock market, like really understanding it. When people are like, what's going on? You're like, here's actually like, I can understand macroeconomics.
That's like politics and news. Yeah yeah just having that i also had uh being able to give really good directions to understand the markets yeah markets and being like oh yeah well this is happening because of this and that we i know it's bullshit but just having the answer to it is very manly uh being able to give really good directions is big time i can't give direct i had a woman the other day i was walking stella and she was asking directions on an address that was on my block and i still was like i think it's right there but i don't know it was literally my street i'm new here it's like because it's smart by her it's like find someone walking a dog they know the area did not we had uh man we had a lot of ones that were left on the table being able able to drink whiskey, a shot of whiskey, and not even blink at it.
Yeah. Just, like, throw it back.
Also, knowing the differences between bourbons. Being like, this is a 10-year, this is a 20.
Scotch, too. Yeah.
Driving a manual car. Yep.
Big one. Owning a house.
Owning a house. Owning a house.
You said that, yeah. Impossible.
Yeah. What about tying a bow tie without a video kind of a manly move that one friend when you're in a wedding party like i got you and just ties everyone totally emasculates everyone else i was trying to think like we were talking earlier like the you know the most the most menly men are in the army and just like being a like a scary slash motivational speaker yeah like being able to just being able to fire up a group of men yes yeah being a leader of men yes yeah yeah having other men fear you yeah but also respect you yeah but like they they fear you so much that they love you yeah i think that's a michael scott yeah being considered a leader of men would be awesome yep historical but conquering shit

yeah gangas khan yeah haas yeah big time for me personally just being able to get something down off of the top shelf for somebody that would be such a great move i'm so envious that someone's like hey can you get this plate down from the top shelf and and you don't have to go grab like a A chair to stand on?

Yeah.

This one, I know how to do it.

I've done it before but i still doubt myself being able to like confidently be able to like jump a car that one i always like i'm always like am i about to fucking kill myself oh jump start a car yeah jump start a car yeah oh i thought that's what you guys picked no we're working on cars but like literally being able to like that's that's different than working on cars. That was in my head.
Someone's car is dead. Jumper cables.
Yeah, jumper cables. I know how to do it, but I also always like, I'm about to kill myself.
Knowing how to field dress, like anything you've hunted and killed. Yep.
Yep. That's a good one.
Just gutting animals. Gutted deer.
Yeah, stalking a bear in Alaska. Yeah.
Killing it and then posting on your instagram hell yeah just being able to to just go in your backyard and and you know hunt and then cook it yeah yeah that thing is cool no but like yeah the full full process what about uh being able to spit tobacco super accurately in a straight line into like a thing that pings in the corner Yeah. Yeah just gutting tobacco just swallowing tobacco just being like above average in every sport it's not manly like just all across the board like could swing a great golf club can like you know juggle a soccer ball can throw a spiral all that shit a bow and arrow accurately yeah yeah like just having that competency archery is cool bow hunting yeah anything else that was a good mount rush i think that's it i feel good about that i don't feel good about your guys picks i mean we're not good at this but we made people laugh yes so the weapon systems was a very hard laugh from big cat one of the first pieces of advice if you're gonna be bad yeah be really bad be the worst and, I mean, picking just a wild combo of waking up early

and being able to fall asleep at any time.

I just didn't have a lot in the bag.

You guys couldn't decide if you want to be narcoleptics or insomniacs.

Also, Jake's just such a natural alpha male.

There's not a lot to improve on.

It's true.

Just being Jake Marsh should have been our first pick.

Being Jake Marsh in the Jake Marsh-Henry Lockwood relationship. As manly as it gets.
Okay. Good Mount Rushmore.
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And now here's Josh Dumo. Okay.
We now welcome on a very special guest. He's a recurring guest now.
He was actually when he came on the first time. It's Josh Dumo.
He's back. That's, I mean, we, we wanted to have you back.
We didn't think think it'd be this soon but we're happy that you're here uh buddy games is uh the movie that is out now you can watch it it came out in may but you also have buddy games the show coming out in the fall uh i actually couldn't be more excited for this i just read about it i want to talk about all of this we're gonna get we'll do a little vikings preview as well oh good but let's start from the beginning buddy games is your real life like this happened so tell us that how this was created and i have a million questions about buddy games through the years yeah i mean the whole thing is based on something my buddies and i have done for the last 20, almost 25 years, depending on when the official date was we actually started. We were doing some version of it since we were kids, but then it kind of became official in the early 2000s.
Every third weekend of August, every single year, we get together for a weekend of tomfoolery. and it is, you know, everything from golf to ping pong to, you know, cornhole, stuff like that, the basics.
Then we always have a really heated wiffle ball tournament with the full field, the whole thing. And then we always do one game that's just outrageous.
One year it was splatel where we had to get on these paddle boards from buoy A to buoy B about 50 yards apart and you had to paddle across from buoy A to B in your underwear and a helmet and the other team got to sit and shoot paintballs at you. Or you know just stupid things like human bowling down these hills and trying to take out as many garbage cans as you can that's where the whole idea came from and then we wrote a script based on that uh made the first movie that came out in 2019 or 20 and then that did wall did the second one that just came out in may now we got a tv show so it's all been you I can't even believe it.
I can't believe that our stupid games now have a TV show coming out. And that's awesome.
It's, it's incredible. It's like, I try to tell this to everyone and I do a bad job of it.
Like your friends, whether it be high school, college, wherever you meet, like your core group of friends, finding a way to get with them every single year is so important because you get you get to that age where the bachelor parties stop and it's very easy to just kind of lose touch every single year the fact that you guys been doing this for 20 years is that's incredible I'm very jealous yeah I mean it's become more a reason to get together than anything the games are kind of the backdrop but it's really a reason to get together and see each other because we really have a tight group of friends and because of the games we've stayed very close to the years and these guys look look forward to it like christmas every year um and you know it's funny because like you said there's so many groups of people across the world who do stuff like this in some form. And I think that that's why the show is really going to be relatable to a lot of people because people are doing something similar to this anyway.
So the show, we have groups of friends that come from all over. One team is from Oregon, one's from California, one's from Oklahoma, one's from Philadelphia, Chicago.
And they all lived in it. They live in this big cabin together.
So it's sort of got a big brother vibe, but there's three events each episode where they all have to sort of fight for survival. And, you know, it's not just about how athletic you are, because most of people are mid, you know, mid-30s to 40s, some are even 50.
So they're sort of weekend warrior types, but they still have that competitive fire, if you will. So, yeah, it's a really, really fun, funny, dramatic, emotional show that I think people are going to really love.
If I know anything about events like this, when you get a bunch of friends together in a competition, there's probably a shitload of cheating that goes on or attempted cheating or bending of the rules or like manipulation, sabotage, that sort of thing. I have to imagine the same way with you.
Yeah. I mean, sabotage for sure.
My buddy, Bob, who I actually play in the movies, we call him the Bob father is the king of sabotage. And so much so that, you know, when we were developing the TV show, I was like, okay, we need these guys to fuck with each other.
These teams need to really like mess with each other to try to get a leg up. And that's what, you know, and CBS loved the idea of making the first game on in each episode is called the curve curveball where if you win that curveball you get

to sabotage another team and that's part of the fun is is constantly you know pulling little pranks

on each other I mean Bob is is is the master of that all right so I have a million questions about

your buddy games um worst injury I'd imagine there's been some injuries because as you get

older and everyone's like oh I can still do this and even like a little thing like playing wiffle ball you you play a full day of wiffle ball with your friends and then your arm can't you can't move your arm for an entire like week so what's the worst injury the worst was a guy that only came one year uh through a hip that's what i knew that's when i that's what i knew we were getting up in age is oh my god he threw a hip that's not supposed to happen yet bo jackson yeah he wait was he so he showed up one year and then he hurt his hip and then he never came back yeah it typically it's the same core group of guys but that year one of bob's buddies that he was working with or something, he let him come play. I forget his name, but he threw a hip.
Last year, Wadi, one of our best friends, threw his elbow out with a ball. As they get older, the games become a little less high octane, if you will yeah a lot more uh it's it's more it's more drinking than it is uh competing but we still do the games okay pretty soon it's gonna be like grumpy old men uh buddy game so that would rock it's usually somebody that takes it a little bit too seriously as everybody else gets older one guy still tries to like bring the noise maybe they bring in a ringer to be on their team but yeah if you if you if you try really hard at anything past the age of 35 you're going to get injured yeah that's the truth that is the truth i i i ruptured my achilles tendon about 20 years ago and that was kind of the beginning i was like okay i gotta take it easy i gotta really warm up.
And the calf never really came back. So I have one calf about half the size of the other ones.
My buddy's only a half calf or decaf. What does the winner get? It's usually, it depends.
Usually it's like golf equipment. We don't really play for money as much as we do this big trophy and uh you know if you we have an we have an mvp we have an lvp lvp is something you don't want to win and so yeah these guys you know if you didn't know we were best friends you would think we're worst enemies yes that's that's that's perfect friendship you just got a friendship yes where if like you walk past a group of guys you're like are those guys about to fight like no actually they've known each other for 20 years exactly yeah all right so has anyone ever been kicked out has anyone ever been not asked back oh yeah oh oh why uh you know like i there's a core, such a click sometimes, it's crazy.
But, you know, there's several of us that I've known since early grade school, a couple of them from kindergarten. So there's a core group of about 12 of us who've known each other forever.
And then there's been a couple that have come along, you know, over the college, then good work friends. And, you know And if they fit into the group, they get to stay.
But then a couple of guys who just were like, why the hell? Who invited this dude? And so I'm not going to say any names. But yeah, there have been a couple that have been haven't been asked back.
That would be like the biggest disappointment of my life. If you got invited to buddy games and then you didn't get asked back.
You thought you had a great showing. Yeah.
We all got along real well. It's like the invitation.
It's better to love than lost and never have loved. No, I would have.
I would never want to be invited to buddy games and get invited in and then be never asked back. Oh, you two.
You two would fit in just fine. Trust me.
Oh, we might have. Yeah.
There should be enemy games. Was that an invite? That you actually hate.
Yeah. Was Yeah.
I'd be down to go. Can we do a podcast of the games as we could we could have like we could like telecast live.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah. Jake Marsh on the play by play.
Yes, we could absolutely do that. Yeah, I would actually love that.
How do you say is there like one commissioner that stuck around throughout the years? Bob The Bobfather We call him Buddy Glue He's the guy that sort of gets it all going It's he and I that run it every other year We kind of take a year off And then the other guy takes over We usually either do it at my cabin Out in Minnesota Or we go to This year we're going to Missoula, Montana Okay, so when it comes back to Minnesota we're in oh I'd love that I'm not okay yeah no we're in so if it goes to Minnesota next year we're in I like it like it travels around it's like a big time bowl game everyone gets a gets a spot I so Bob sounds like a great dude because that's the other part of like the your entire buddy games and what i was saying about friends getting together you need that one friend who is very proactive and being like we're doing this because if you don't have that then it all falls apart so shout out bob he needs that he needs the shout out yeah that's the truth if you don't have that dude that keeps everybody in contact everybody you know you know, life happens. You grow up, you get jobs, you have families, and, you know, you lose touch with your buddies.
And thankfully for Bob that he's sort of kept us all tight like that. Is this a, like, significant others invited situation, families invited, or is it just the buddies? No, we don't.
We usually on Saturday, so it goes Thursday, Friday, Saturday usually, or is it saturday sunday friday saturday i think it's i think saturday is usually the last day anybody goes home on sunday so uh the big the big the last big event is wiffle ball and it's really fun because it's like it's like you know soft it's like a big softball it looks like a softball game only we do it in a giant field we put a fence up and we invite spouses and parents and whoever wants to come but you know the first two days before that it's just the boys yeah oh that's great it sounds great yeah i'm in i'm in yes i'm not so in it's really fun yeah it sounds like now are you cutting in anyone from your buddy group into the Buddy Games show? Are they getting any, are they wet in the beak?

Uh... Are you cutting in anyone from your buddy group into the Buddy Games show? Are they getting any – are they wet in the beak? What do you mean? Are they competing in it? No.
Are they getting a little cash? Production credit. Yeah.
Bobby does. Bobby is a partner with me on this.
I couldn't do this without him. Trust me.
He would have my head. Okay.
And also the truth is he brings a lot of value because he's got great ideas for games. A lot of which at CBS loved.
So yeah, he's in fact, he was, we shot it in Columbia, Bogota, Columbia, the TV show and he got COVID on his, on his flight out to,

to Bogota and was,

you know quarantined away from the rest of us so we never even got to come to set he flew all the way out there and i didn't even get to see him other than he's like you better not come up here i'm not feeling well i think i might have coveted and so i went up and knocked on his door and like stood back about feet just to say, hey, man, are you okay? And I'd left him a couple of things in front of his door. Well, then I get COVID a couple of days after he leaves.
And I swear to God, I wasn't near him. So everybody on the production thinks that he gave me COVID.
So he's worried that they're never going to let him be a part of it again because he gave me COVID and that uh you know we had to shut down for a few days I feel like I know Bob you should actually you should do the next the next season or I guess next year would mean big cat come we should do that one in Columbia too yeah I feel like that would be a good video I feel like I know Bob because he's he's like it's not the fact that he had COVID. It's not the fact that like he wouldn't get a he just was pissed that he probably can't be part of like just dudes hanging out.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean he was not he was not happy because it was you know he was looking forward to coming out there and seeing it.
And you know it's a lot of flying to just sit in a hotel room for three days and fly back. Yeah.
Have we figured out what the game is going to be, the wild card game is this year? I think he knows. He hasn't told me yet.
I'm not sure, but I'll be sure to report back. Yeah.
I'll send you some video. How's that sound? Yeah.
The one that you were talking about sounds like American Gladiators, just on a lake. Well, there was another one where you had to stand there in your underwear about 25 yards away, and each team had to put the helmet on and underwear again, and they got to stand there in your underwear about 25 yards away and each team had to put the helmet on and underwear again and you got to sit, they got to stand there, just had to stand there.
And you hear the, when you hear the thump of the paintball gun, if you flinched at all, you lose points. And so it's like literally standing there in front of a firing squad having to take this.
But it's the visual of these dudes who, you know, we're almost 50 and we're standing there in our underwear. It wasn't pretty.
And so I could send you some video of that, although I'm not sure. I'm not sure it would be okay with the rest of the dudes.
It's great because I also feel like every group of friends has a game that they grow up playing that is native to whatever house they had or whatever backyard they have. Every guy grows up playing Nutshot too, which is just you sit across a room from somebody, open up your legs, and then you just roll a basketball at their nuts, and then you can't flinch, and you just have to watch the basketball roll into your sack.
sort of the same idea as the game i just explained only yeah much more slow yeah but yeah this all rules like i i don't know if my genuine excitement for not only the show but potentially maybe being part of buddy games like i hope it's coming through because uh this is actually like so we're building a huge office in chicago 40 000 square feet and a lot of what we're doing is similar to this, where it's like, let's find the dumbest games we can compete against. Because people love watching like friends just play stupid games and fail.
And it doesn't have to be like some crazy athletic thing. It's just watching friendship and stupid things happen come through a screen is just the best.
Yeah're gonna love the show then it's it that's that's pretty much what it is and and the best part about it is that these guys i didn't want it to feel too much like things we've seen uh whether it's you know american ninja warrior or or even amazing race these are all great shows were extremely, but we wanted us to have like that. You need to be able to feel that these guys have known each other.
These guys and girls have known each other forever. And so some of the games require physical prowess, but some of them are how well do you know each other and how well do you know who can, okay, who's going to canoe lake who's going to be strapped to the giant cornhole board who's going to actually do the tossing you know like because you know these things who's good at what mostly because you've known them for so long you know yeah i could i could tell you exactly which guys in my group would be good at which particular events and a lot of them had to do with you know each one of them had to contribute in some different way.
Yeah. Yeah.
It sounds amazing. Yeah, it does.
I'm very excited to watch, very excited to participate. We should probably get a little bit into the Vikings because last time you were on the show, we laid into you pretty good about the Vikings and about Kirk Cousins.
I'm actually on the other side this year. I heard we signed Carson Wentz, by the way, as our backup.
Did you really? No, I wish. Okay, Jesus Christ.
I was about to say something nice about the Vikings. I would have instantly retracted.
People have commented on the fact that I was on your show. I love you and pardon my take.
I was like, did you like the Carson Wentz part? Not so much. Yeah.
In a show, the entire premise of this show is us being as wrong as we possibly can be about sports. Your Carson Wentz take was maybe the worst take that we've ever had.
Yeah, you out-taked us. You out-taked us.
I still believe in him. Somebody's going to pick him up, and he's going to come back.
He's going to do it. God, no.
God, no. We're not going to get into that again, though.
I've kind of switched this offseason on the Vikings because it turns out I've come to terms with the fact that I genuinely like Kirk Cousins. Yes.
He's a very nice guy. He's a great dude.
Yeah. My personal feelings towards Kirk were more about feelings that I had in the past about him always being just good enough to give you hope and then smashing that hope that hope the vikings offense was was pretty good last year and you got better on offense and you have a good defensive coordinator you can't be any worse than you were on defense so i think i might be back in on the vikings yeah we lost a bunch of players though but apparently we picked a bunch up yeah i i feel the same as you do about kirk he's apparently just the dude.
But I still have a hard time thinking he can take us all the way. Again, he's sort of not a great showing in that playoff game against the Giants.
But again, that's not all his fault. He did play really well.
And he won a bunch of games that typically we lose. So, you know, that was the best I've seen him play last year for sure.
Yeah. And it does feel like, I don't know, last year we all kind of felt the same way.
They were winning all these weird games. It felt like it was a fluke-ish.
Now it's a new season. You can, you know, that doesn't carry over.
They could have a totally different season where they're winning games differently. Yeah.
Apparently this new D coordinator, what's his name again? You got Brian Flores, right? Yeah, you got Brian Flores. Yeah, Flores, Flores, right, of course.
He's apparently, they are really high on him, and we couldn't be any worse than we were last year, and the Vikings are usually stout on defense, so it was tough to watch how porous we were. So I'm thinking he's going to bring back the you know the vikings defensive old hopefully that's what i ended up doing is just gonna be good yeah that you just described by by the way one of the worst feelings in all sports when your team is known for one thing and then they finally can do the other thing well and the one thing they're known for just completely evaporates like it's like hey well you can always rely on our defense and it's like oh we have a decent offense justin jefferson's the best receiver in the game and the defense is nowhere to be seen yeah yeah it was not it was not good and we had the players too i just didn't i don't understand it it's weird you just say scheme it was scheme yeah i guess it was it is nice to just think though like it can't get any worse than it was last year on defense.
if the offense comes back to 32 i think we're 31st in the league in defense yeah now if you got i i do bears might have been worse i reserve i reserve the right to to stand by a take though if um if the vikings get out to a hot start i might just start including last year's point differential on this year's stats too and just say like in the last 18 months, the Vikings have the worst point differential of any team that's won this many games. I might still do that, but I do.
I kind of believe in it. Are you a Bears fan or something? No, it's just fun.
It's just fun. When you have a take that you get addicted to, it's hard to let it go, you know? Yeah.
Like you and Carson Wentz.

Never let a good take die.

Never let a good take die.

All I care about is 2023 and at least give me some hope.

Every year we've got hope.

Every year we say this is the year, and it's been, I think, 61 years.

Yeah.

Josh, I want to play a fun game that we play with everyone.

It's called We Read a Headline.

So I just searched your name and then news. I'm going to read this headline.
Josh Duhamel has become a bit of a doomsday prepper in case shit hits the fan. What's that about? Yeah, I've got this recurring, I don't know if it's a nightmare or a daymare, of shit hitting he's shit hitting the fan in LA and I need to get out and I'm, and I've, and I've devised a plan to get out.
And if I do, and which I will with my family, we have been, I've been building this place out in, uh, somewhere in the North woods, uh, that I could, I think that we could, we would be okay. Um, and so I, I don't know.
It's just, it, maybe it's just a hobby. Maybe I'm a crazy psychotic, you know, conspiracy theorist, but you know, any little thing goes wrong in LA and things seem to lock up quickly.
They go sideways. And, and, and so that's just a, it's been a thing that I've, that I've worked worked and it's been a lot of fun building the place out there by the way i bet project now is it set up to host buddy games because like what if shit hits the fan but buddy games still has to happen yeah yeah oh we could do both for sure we have a fishing derby that's one thing we do by the way is a fishing derby and i would just keep all the fish freeze them so we'd have food for the next you know several months yeah i like bring them out there you make make them make them make them play and work at the same time yeah yeah you don't work you don't eat did you have um have you started to like stockpile food like like freeze dried shit yeah yeah to a degree i i to degree i haven't i haven't become that psychotic about it yet but um i do have the infrastructure to to uh you know live comfortably for a while out there i like how you phrased it to a bit of a doomsday prepper, just kind of dipping your toe in.

I don't think that's how that works.

I think you're either are or you aren't.

It's a binary thing.

It's like,

you can't be like,

oh yeah,

I got this little side hobby.

I'm building an entire fortress in case shit.

It's just a,

just a bit of a doomsday prepper.

Well,

you know,

I don't want to,

I don't want to be that much of a,

you know,

a Debbie downer.

I want to,

I mean,

I don't want to be that much of a Debbie Downer. I mean, I feel like it's been fun, too.
I also wanted just a place just to retreat to that was out in the middle of nowhere and something private, and it sort of turned into, okay, so I'm going to need a big generator. I'm going to need to reverse osmosis the wells.
I'm going to have to be able to fish. This is not a bit of a doomsday prepper.
You got a cellar with some sturdy locks on it. You are a doomsday prepper.
Hey, you got to think about these things, man. Have you purchased seeds? Do you have like an enormous amount of seeds that you're waiting to plant out? I do, actually.
Yeah, so you've got a doomsday garden. I started, I started learning how to see, I'm a bit of a farmer now too, just a bit of a farmer, not a bit of a farmer, bit of a farmer.
I'm learning how to till and seed and, and grow stuff. You know, it's, it's all happening incrementally.
Uh, I don't, I can't give 100% of my time to it, but I do really enjoy learning basic survival stuff. So what is the doomsday scenario for Los Angeles? Because you've obviously thought about this.
What's the most likely scenario where just LA comes to a standstill? It rains one day and traffic on the 405 is too bad. And you're like, fuck this.
get out to my cabin yeah what qualifies as you know uh reason to to dart i guess it's 54 degrees one day you know they take out our cell towers or they take out or gas they shut down gas stations or any and if you remember in 2008 they started having to there's a there's a shortage in gas and there's a book that I read that I think that started me off on this path. It's called Patriots, a guide to surviving the coming collapse, I think it was called.
And it sort of played out. You don't buy that book.
I like this. I love this.
You don't buy that book, The Patriot's Guide to the Impending Collapse of Society. You don't buy that unless you already want to become a doomsday prepper.
And listen, I like this because most doomsday preppers are psychos, and they've lost kind of all sense of reality. So I will actually backtrack and say you are a bit of a doomsday prepper because you're still a regular guy living a regular life.
You're just making a break glass in case of emergency plan. I'm just taking necessary precautions taking necessary precautions man that's all i don't want to be caught with my pants down yeah you aren't you are uh wait so this book so you read the book and then you're like oh this makes a lot of sense yeah so what they didn't did you read the book no i did not read the book yeah so it's it.
So it basically plays out the 2008 scenario.

And, you know, if we hadn't gone in and saved the banks,

it plays out what would have happened or what could have happened in a very realistic way.

And I'm like, yeah.

I mean, and I've seen, you know, something goes sideways in L.A.

and there's riots in the streets and people are, you know, and freeways can lock down quickly.

So, you know, any it's a very delicate environment.

You know, if things if things aren't, you know, copacetic, things can go sideways here quick.

And you only have you only have the freeways out and those can lock down quickly so how do you get out well dirt bikes dirt bikes is the answer oh dirt bikes the answer i like that you are reminded when you watch like a documentary about 2007 2008 we all believe in money and that's why money is worth something but the second that we all believing in cash, then, yeah, we are kind of in a scenario like what you're talking about. Every man for himself.
Things go off the rails. Now, let me ask you this.
Are you a member of any online forums or message boards dedicated to prepping? No. No.
Okay. Just a bit.
That's good. Yeah, you're a bit of a doomsday prepper.
Yeah. Yeah, i think you are a bit it's not all the way well we don't want to see you go all the way you want to be on the show i should actually be doing a better job to be honest i'm i'm not entirely ready but i'm getting there you always get more ready yeah and every time you see a headline in the news about a ufo visiting you're like yep all these idiots out there you're dumb you're not ready I'm ready for this.
Yeah. Yeah.
And every time you see a headline in the news about a UFO visiting, you're like, yep, all these idiots out there. You're dumb.
You're not ready. I'm ready for this.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I say I am. But then, you know, one thing goes wrong.
And how do I change the tire on my motorcycle? Oh, God, I'm screwed. And also like, oh, shit, I got a I got a meeting with with the studio on Friday.
i can't miss that so we're gonna have to delay getting out of town um all right well josh this has been awesome man we love having you on actually i got one more question because i i went back and read some of your bio before we started taping today and i saw that you were you were voted male model of the year in 1997 i thought we talked about this last time didn't we? Well, we talked about how good looking you are. I think we spent a majority of the interview just being like, you're hot.
Tell us about that. I was actually hoping for a tip from you this time.
If you win a male model of the year competition, I have to imagine you've got to look, right? Like there's a certain look. So we go from doomsday prepping to male model of the year in 1997.
You can do it all. Can you tell us how you turn on that look where it's like, yeah, this is my modeling look.
This is the hottest that I can be. Yeah, it was – my modeling days were short-lived, man.
I was – I got off to a start, but then I was just really insecure about it and didn't – I wasn't comfortable. I didn't really have a look.
I think that's part of the reason why I was not successful is I, I had more of a deer in the headlights look than a blue steel. And so, yeah, I wasn't incredibly successful at it.
Yeah. Well, male model of the year.
Yeah. You do do it all.
Well, that was for, it was for IMTA. It was a thing they do in New York City where all these aspiring actors and models go.
And I got asked to go to this thing. And they sponsored me because I didn't have any money.
And I'd never been to New York. So they took me to this thing.
And over the week, the word got out. It was between these three guys.
This dude from, I forget where the other guy was kansas or something and then there and then another kid from cedar rapids iowa who was ashton kutcher um and so we were both we both kind of came up at this convention for and and we're competing for the male model of the year and we did it all man there like full-on like bikini like walks down the runway in our speedos there's a fashion there was you know they had photo it was like a it was truly a real life zoolander i love it and you beat ashton i did i did that's the one thing i beat ashton at in my career yeah um all right so my last question rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use code take 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos uh hoodies joggers shorts everything rowback.com promo code take 20 off so josh this i we love having you on you are a recurring guest you have to come to chicago to for our buddy games when we get it all set up and we would if the invite is real is real, we will absolutely come to Minnesota next year. But my last question is, so you kind of have it all.
Male model, you have the doomsday prepping, you're a great actor, you've been in a ton of movies, you've got great friends. Have you thought about the fact that the one thing that keeps you normal is that your football team sucks and what happens if they actually want it all people might start hating you i don't care man i'll take that super bowl victory they can good answer they can hate all they want i want that i want that super bowl and uh so yeah i'm not worried about that um okay i think i think that people would be happy for the vikings just because it's almost like well good for them they finally did it after i think there's what the two or three teams that haven't won it how many teams let's see the chargers vikings browns won it haven't they not a super bowl super bowl lions there's not a much not a bunch, if you take out the new teams, like the Panthers

and the Texans, but the old teams

that have been competing for a very long time,

it's pretty tough to not have a Super Bowl.

And by the way, they're one of the

top 10 winningest team.

They're in the

top, like winning percentage, they're top

10, so they've always been good.

So that's what makes it even harder

is the fact that we're always in the the conversation but never can quite pull it off but i feel like

o'connell's got the goods our head coach yeah flores i think i feel like this is this is the

regime that could do it yeah yeah dalvin cook everybody we'll get what's gone now yeah yeah

we did we did i think i did the stats yeah yeah there you go we did the stats i think last year

Thank you. Everybody.
It's gone now. Yeah.
We did. We did.
I think I did the stats. You did that on purpose.
Yeah. There you go.
We did the stats, I think, last year. Not just a pretty face.
The Vikings have been to the playoffs like 30 out of the last like 45 years or something crazy where it's like they're always in the playoffs. And it's definitely a different.
It's like the reverse coin of like a Lions who don't go to the playoffs and are just sad. So.
All right so you you you're okay if people start hating you if the vikings would at all i'm okay with that i'll take a i'll take a super bowl victory that's an even trade for me yeah yeah yeah okay we'll help make sure that everyone hates you thanks um all right well josh thank you so much dude we love having you on uh we do have to set it up when we're set up in chicago because we are basically building what you've described in buddy games so we're building recess yeah we made an entire office at a recess yeah you and bob got to come and we'd love to have you out hey if you get a chance check out buddy game spring awakening too i think you guys yes think you guys really dig it. Yes.
Yes. I'm all in on Buddy Games.
Give me everything with Buddy Games. It's the second movie that just came out in May.
It's really fun. I love it.
I love it. Give me a video game of Buddy Games.
Ooh. Ooh.
I like that. Then you don't have to go see your buddies.
I'll take 10% off that. Yeah.
We just put it all into the cloud. Uh-huh.
Yeah. all right well josh thanks so much man appreciate it bye guys josh dumo is brought to you by game time the exclusive ticketing partner of barstool sports we're going to be colt season ticket holders shout out game time uh we're gonna be giving away tickets to every Colts game.
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enter your email and redeem code pmt for 20 bucks off your first purchase terms apply go to the game time app enter your email and redeem code pmt you get 20 bucks off your first purchase some terms apply all right i'm trying to i'm trying to finish my uh my my tickets but i'm i can't i can't do it where they don't automatically renew. I don't want Colt season tickets for life.

So that same thing happened with me.

There's a question, like a series of questions that they ask you.

Yeah.

And the first one is, do you want to sign up for like forever Colts,

the auto renew?

And there's only a yes answer.

There's not a no.

So you did it?

Yeah.

So I did it.

So I'm going to call him tomorrow and be like, hey, I just want to let you know I'm not renewing these.

Okay.

That's not happening. Yeah.
Jake, you you're gonna have to do that for me um okay i've purchased colt's tickets there it is i just hit submit so i have matched uh we're just gonna give away colt's tickets all year what a giveaway i can't believe i never thought that I would be a Colt season ticket owner. And here I am.
Life comes at you fast. Thank you, Mr.
Ursa. Yes.
Thank you, Mr. Ursa.
I mean, it's a thank you for me, too, just because we don't talk about Dan Snyder anymore. Yeah.
So he changed money in the Dan Snyder jar. We're not allowed to say that name.
Yeah, he changed my life. Okay, Fire Fest of the week.

Let's do it.

Hank, start us off.

Yeah, we were talking about lifetime stats the other day on Mount Rushmore,

and I was thinking about this after.

What do you guys think the lifetime stat of how many haircuts you've got in your life?

Not that many.

Yeah, PFT is a bad person.

You could probably calculate the ballpark. get like one every three or four weeks so that's like uh thousands that's what i couldn't figure out thousands i don't think it's thousands it's definitely not thousands could be you never know no it's definitely not thousands because let's say you get 12 haircuts a year.
Hank, let's do the math. What's 12 times 30? That's 360 for Hank.
Yeah. Hank, you're not 90 years old.
Hank's not a world-renowned educated person. Maybe Jeff D.
Lowe has thousands. 90 years old is 1,080.
That's barely 1,000. Yeah.
And you didn't get one as a baby. It feels like thousands.
You never know. Whatever.
Hundreds. I got a a haircut yesterday this is the first time this has ever happened to me it was driving me nuts the barber turned me around in the chair for the entire haircut so i had no idea if like i just didn't know what was going on the whole time you know sometimes they turn you around for a second and do something do your back whatever then they turn you back you're looking at the person, cut your hair.
He turned me around and did not turn me back around for 45 minutes. And it turned out fine, but I was kind of losing my mind when it was going on.
I was like, is this guy just butchering my hair? I scare those. I don't know.
So two things, either one, he wanted to create a sense of community in the barbershop and wanted you to talk to other people. Nope.
I was looking wall i was actually on the far the farthest i was on the farthest chair and i was turned towards the wall i kind of like this though like the big kind of a surprise yeah at the end it was driving me nuts i was like i just didn't know and i kept like kind of trying to like you know lead him and he just he was not having it so were you happy with the result i was but it was it was it was 45 minutes of anxiety that i wish you know wasn't the case damn that's brutal i uh i i got my last haircut in brooklyn and i i pussied out on saying goodbye i've been doing that for a few things is that a lame move i just i don't like doing goodbyes and it's like yeah i kind of know the guy but also like maybe he'll just think i died and that's kind of cool too yeah iris good buying him he'll either think that you died or that you moved away and you're an asshole for not saying bye yeah or that you secretly don't like his haircuts anymore and you're going somewhere else or i just decided never to get my hair cut again yeah i had a pretty heartfelt goodbye with the uh the guys at the convenience store next to the office last time i was there i was like this is it it's weird it's been real we tapped up because it's people he told the older guys like come here he's going yeah it's people it was it was nice it's people you see every day like because i you know i'd see the people who cut my hair like at the bodega and all that stuff like oh hey what's up but yeah i just i pussied out maybe i'll go back and say goodbye i have like one more day or two more days that i can do it i'll probably say goodbye because that's you're not gonna do that nah i might i might because i he always did super bowl squares too so maybe i'll just be like, get me in on the next year. Yeah.
He's still one foot in. Yeah, right.
Still got some connections to Brooklyn. Yeah, exactly.
All right, PFT. Yeah, my Fyre Fest.
I mean, I can't really complain about anything. Life is very good for me right now.
This is the happiest that I've been. I really feel bad even complaining about anything because this is everything that I've wanted happened today so I'm so excited about that so I guess my fire fist is just that I've had really chapped lips recently and I'm always afraid of using too much chapstick because that's how they get you right you get addicted to chapstick and then you have to use it more and more and more I've never used it see and your lips are your lips are Hank.
You have some of the best lips I've ever seen, Hank. Very highly kissable.

Thank you.

But I don't

really know how much

chapstick is too much chapstick to get me

addicted to it, but I've tried using

Vaseline. I've used other chapsticks

and I just can't get over the

chapped lips.

Try sour cream. Yeah.
Is that a thing? Try maple syrup. You guys are just going to get me fat.
You probably have a sunburn. Yeah, that's what it is.
When you came back from vacation on whatever was Sunday, I was like, whoa, you got sunburned. You definitely have a sunburned.
Yep, I've got sunburned lips. okay that's nothing so i'll just wait i'll just wait it out i'll be good yeah you'll be fine allo um all right my fire fest i have a few uh one just moving sucks i didn't realize uh well moving is one of those things that you just kind of forget how much it sucks and then until you actually get in it you're like oh yeah this really fucking sucks um and it really really sucks when you got three kids and a dog you have to like manage all that shit so i'm just been a bad day bad it's gonna be a bad few days for me just bear with me because moving sucks uh i also have fire fest justin field said he's gonna throw over 4 000 yards this year and then it reaction online being like, oh, my God, the Bears have never had a 4,000-yard passer.
And also, if he doesn't throw over 4,000 yards this year, then it's going to be like, oh, they still don't. So that sucked.
The fat guy quote, that was bad. And then finally, we're going on Grit Week soon.
We got Grit Week in two in two weeks and max told me i won't say who uh about a sponsorship deal uh and he was like yeah they want us to they want everyone to shave their face and i was like i'm in if everyone shaves their face and so i think we should all shave our faces i'm in yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I said it's a big sponsors.

It's sponsors that help us.

Correct.

They really would like if you did.

Well, no, I will do.

I said I will have no problem because Max is like, they want you to do it.

They said they wanted me to do it.

And I was like, yeah, I'll do it.

If everyone does it, strengthen numbers.

And now Max and Hank are not being team. I also figured out so we don't have to do this but we should do it as a team that would be funny it sounds like this is something that the sponsor really wants and i wanted i want to give the sponsor what they there's already a solution here what's grittier what's grittier than all of us just bearing our insecurities to the world nothing is the answer such a i mean i'm not shaving my beard you can say whatever you want what for hank you're not gonna be a team player i i put it i i risked i'll like you know if a bet comes up that's fair i'll do it but i'm not just gonna fucking sponsor hank what about a sponsor shave them what'd about a sponsor? Let's not pin him down and shave him.
What did you say? Pin him down and shave him. You can't even see Billy's face right now.
You have a fucking computer that used to be plugged into an ethernet cable. I'm not there right now.
Okay, well, listen. What does that mean? Billy's going to, his face is going to be a black screen today.
We have We have no video of him. Oh, he's back.
Or it'll be like one frozen freeze frame throughout this entire episode. That's just a forewarning for everyone watching the YouTube.
I wish you will not see Billy's video in this episode. And you can't see how wet he is.
Yeah, he's so wet. He showed up so wet.
I'm not wet anymore. It looked like you didn't know we were recording and had to run like 20 blocks to get back to wherever you're recording from you look you look a little bit like a uh a frat version of will must champ right now just like a little damn i was playing pickup basketball and the shower didn't take and no but then i got the after sweats from the shower yeah i know the shower didn't take it's the worst uh either way uh i apologize to all awls i guess we're not shaving our faces no man i'm down i even said i would shave my head so am i enough money you guys are the host the advertisers pay for you guys they don't pay for us you know they pay for us we're no we win as a team we lose as a team that's a team no you guys we all right so we share.
Yeah, we'll profit share off this deal.

No problem.

No problem. I'm down.

I'm down.

Salaries.

Billy's down.

If we're talking.

I'm down.

If we split everything evenly, I'm down for the whole year.

This specific ad, I will pay you out of my pocket if I have to.

How much?

Whatever the number is.

No problem.

Guess what? If the number isn't what you want, I got a cold season ticket. I can sweeten the deal.
We're going to work on Sundays. Okay.
I apologize. Why do you do this to me? I apologize to EWL.
It's Max's fault. He's addicted to seeing my fat face.
a fat face. My face would be fat.
No, you like looking at my fat face. Yes, I do.
Who cares? You got a family. You got kids.
It doesn't matter. What is that supposed to mean? I still want to look good.
Hank's saying that you gave up. Yeah.
It doesn't matter. It sounds like Hank gave up on showing his face.
Yes. Yeah, I did.
And it was the best thing I ever did. Hank, I hope someday you get married to the love of your life.
And she's like, I don't like your beard. I'll shave it then.
Okay. Billy, your fire fest.
So first fire fest is my dog won't go down down a spiral staircase so i've had to carry him about twice a day down the spiral staircase he will go up we've we've made progress but i'm basically carrying like 110 pounds uh over my shoulder down a spiral staircase twice a day uh which is fun hopefully we can you know make some content of him learning

how to go down um second fire fest is i just realized that everyone is going to be in chicago

on sunday and yes i did this to myself but it's still uh it was a very sobering uh thought um

but yeah so yeah billy i i took a look at your spiral staircase kind of been in denial about it

but yeah. No, we know you've been in denial about it.
You've definitely been like

Thank you. But yeah.
So yeah, Billy, I took a look at your spiral staircase. Kind of been in denial about it, but yeah.
No, we know you've been in denial about it. You've definitely been like, this will never happen.
When you saw your spiral staircase, did you think in the house on Sunday at the office? Did you think to yourself like Whitey's going to have no problem at all with this? It's basically a vertical staircase that you have. No, I i absolutely knew he was gonna have problems uh but i was in denial about it i don't even think billy's like internet cut out his speaking pattern cut out his brain cut out billy plug the ethernet back into your ear yeah he's his brain is delayed right now all right well billy yeah i mean yeah it was gonna come time moves on yeah yeah shit happens jake next fire fest yeah well we have grit week grit week will be your finale uh go ahead jake uh yeah so i'm sitting in my new apartment right now as you can see if you're watching on YouTube I have my boxes but I have not

unboxed anything because

I am in an ADA compliant

apartment with a

shower head that is lower than my head

has an extra little peephole

the towel racks are lower

so might have to do some

shifting around so stay tuned

what do you mean by shifting around getting in a wheelchair i might be transferring apartments we'll see did you not look at any of these apartments before you you it's that's very unlike you that's something i would do or billy i did i did and they sent me uh similar videos and they said the unit i would be living in is identical videos I did. I did.
And they sent me similar videos and they said the unit I would be living in is identical. The videos I got wasn't the case.
So stay tuned. But now you're prepared for anything.
Yeah. And maybe you just give off the vibe of like a paralyzed person.
You think about that? Your voice or something? Like something happened where they're like, yeah, we got to get this guy. Now, now if you are changing does that mean you don't stand with disabled people well that was a bad choice of words but you know what i'm saying no i 100 stand with disabled people i understand next to yeah okay because if i if i were you i would keep that i would keep it and be like i understand like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make a fuss yeah like learn what they have to go through it'll give you perspective do you have the bar do you have the bar next to your toilet it's like no more yeah yeah no bar come on jake i i i respect and i mean i don't know I know I agree with, Jake, because you are taking a spot from them right now.
Yeah, exactly. It's like when somebody parks in the handicap space.
That's what Jake's doing with his entire life. I feel really uncomfortable doing it.
So we'll see. I've got some meetings tomorrow and we'll figure it out.
Is there any features that are like an upgrade that you're like oh this is kind of sick the walk-in shower's got to be nice jacob are you worried like car karma wise if you go and make a big fuss and get switched you're gonna have like a tragic accident i'm just asking i'll have to come back to this department i like i would be scared of that it's like it's like uh it's like switching your flight or something you know what i mean like oh shit what happens if the other you know the flight i switched to i i view it in the perspective like pft said i'm taking this place right now of someone who needs it more very selfish yeah very selfishly right now um and my other one this is from a few weeks ago sometimes when i get when i get a hotel room that's ada compliant some of the features are better for me yeah oh yeah racks are nice dude the bar living up off the toilet when you're when your legs fall asleep yeah living for a year is a different story okay only oh this would only happen to you jake i'm happy it has happened to you because it really is not your fault fault. And it is a very easy way out to be like, yeah, I wouldn't take it from someone else.
But we have put you in a sufficient pickle. Right.
So it's tough. I thought I'd be moving in today, but now I'm just sitting in an empty room with a bed and a desk.
Do you think you're too good to live in an ADA compliant apartment? No, I'm just uncomfortable staying here with it's someone else who might need it more. So your fire fest essentially is that you have working legs? I feel so uncomfortable.
Where's the microwave Jake? Is it a Skip Bayless waist level microwave? You're basically complaining that you are like you're like yeah this is bullshit they gave me this thing my legs work i have a skip too i forgot to say that i'm skipped up what yeah what do you mean i got a skip micro oh really my first skip yeah i got my first skip nice yeah that's so we'll see what happens um and my other fire fest is i visited the sleepway camp i went to a few weeks ago and I reffed a 15 and under color war basketball game. Why is that a fire fest? Because it was a disaster.
A 14-year-old told me, I need another pair of glasses. That's awesome.
At halftime, I may have asked the the kids who won the jump oh i didn't know who got the ball so you did a bad job reffing you'd say yes a very bad job were you rooting for one color over the other no no no what do you mean color war basketball like wisconsin against kentucky Jake's just stepping into rakes right now

No basketball like Wisconsin against Kentucky. Jake's just stepping into rakes right now.
No, like half the camp is one color. Yeah, god damn it, Jake.
Jake, let's focus on what really matters is that as an adult, you're still using the phrase sleep away camp. Yeah.
I'm actually surprised that the term color war is not changed. That's a good point.

I mean,

like why would it?

It's fucking camp.

Yeah.

Blue versus green,

but yeah,

that's,

that's the week I'm having.

Hopefully the next time you hear me,

I'm in a different apartment.

Jake,

someone needs to make the meme of the,

the bloods in the crypts,

holding the bandanas together with ref Jake behind them.

Yeah,

but it was, it was a good experience. Sounds it was great yeah it was awesome yeah all right uh let's finish it up last show ever in the studio yeah so this is that we're retiring we should i'm gonna have them ship it because we haven't figured out what to do with it.
So we'll sell it or maybe we'll put it.

We could hang it in the rafters.

Yeah.

Do something like that.

Put it up, you know, as like memorabilia.

There was a poll.

Hank, did you see the poll?

A poll?

A poll.

The guy who kept all the numbers.

Billy, stop breathing that mic.

No, I did not see the poll uh six nine there we go 18 fuck no that doesn't count i didn't hear numbers on my end i literally said numbers and then i stopped i didn't hear it i didn't hear it on my end i didn't hear it on my end okay uh well max will we stop breathing to the mic that's that's interference that's producing producing by max you were trying to suck down the mic that was 17 uh okay uh we got has anyone ever gotten two in a row um i think 20 will have gotten two in a row shout out to the dude big cat i don't know if you saw the dude. He tweeted at us or DM'd us in May and said, Hank's going to get the last lottery ball number in the studio.
Remember, this is the last one in the studio. Yeah, this is the last one.
No, but I'm going to be the last winner. I'm the reigning champ of that.
That machine is mine. You can just ship it to my house.
So the guy who did the poll said that I have won five times, and he had everyone vote on it. He had two examples.
He had five times. I literally saw him be like, here's five.
Big Cass says he has five wins. I'm going to attach the videos, and then he attached two videos.
Listen, I respect all wins. I've never said anything about Michigan claiming 14 national titles, so I'm very consistent with this.
I'm the reigning champ.

Okay.

Have you ever gotten this?

Nope.

You've never gotten it. Remember, Billy got it for the first time,

and then he retired until someone else got it,

and I got it on the next show.

Oh, yeah.

Back to back.

Yeah.

All right.

I'll go with 85.

20.

Big Cat got it twice in a row,

but just one wasn't on the show.

Yeah, I did get it twice in a row. Are you sure that Meems hasn't gotten it?

No, Meems never gotten it.

It's about to hit right now.

I see it.

Fuck.

79.

Oh.

Let's do another one.

Counts? Yeah, yeah.

This doesn't count.

18. Let's do the same numbers.
We'll just go same numbers. Bye studio.
I'm going to miss the studio too. I'm going to miss it a lot.
I think I still have cable boxes in that studio that I need to return. That's going to happen.
53. Let's do one more.
Are there? Max? Everyone, numbers. No cable boxes.
Wait, put them back in. 18.
Put them back back in. Mickey Mouse.
What is going on here? Just give me 69. Can you give me it for the last fucking one? I'll take 17.
I'll take 17. Bill, you have a computer.
PFT, what's your number? I'm not at internet. I'm not at my computer.
I'm not at my computer right now. Did you guess the number, Hank? It's 17.
No, I had 17. 100.
40. Let's do another.
Damn. Should have picked 40.
We'll keep all the same numbers. Third time.

40.

No, I got 17.

You can't do that.

All right, fine.

I'll go back to 85.

That's fine.

17.

8.

20.

18.

4.

Did you have 4 memes? No.

All right, let's do one more.

We're just going to keep it.

I'll do 8.

33.

17.

20.

Billy, 1. 3, 2, Billy.
What are you doing, Billy? 81. Numbers? 12.
18. 17.
20. Nice pick, BFT.
I quit. I quit.
I quit. You just have to say the number after.
You already did. 18.
I can't hear it in time. Oh, yeah, Jake.
Jake's the reigning champ. Way to go, Jake.
Way to go. The reigning champ.
Very cool. No, that's not Mickey Mouse.
It doesn't matter, Jake. No, Jake.
It's two will ever be drawn. No, it's two balls, Jake.

Way to go.

California Condors.

Last ever champion. The largest wingspan of any bird.

I don't know if I can take this one.

No, Jake.

You're taking it just like you took that fucking ADA apartment.

You're taking it.

It's getting late.

Love you guys.

Good job, Jake. I'll be coming for your love, okay? Oh Thank you.
Take it on me Take it on me Take it on me I'm out. Thank you.
Take it on me Take it on me

Take it on me

Take it on me I'm not alone. Thank you.