Eagles TE Dallas Goedert, Mt Rushmore Of Triangles, MLB All Star Game + Guys On Chicks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a great show for the people. We're talking MLB All-Star Game.
We're talking Home Run Derby. We got Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 A great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles.

Speaker 1 One of those interviews, I'm going to tell AWLs, and I'm not saying this just because Takeys are on Friday, but one of those interviews, we sat down.

Speaker 1 We didn't really know a lot about Dallas Cotter. We stood up after him.
We're like, that guy fucking rules. We want to be friends with him.

Speaker 1 We have Mount Rushmore of triangles, of actually hilarious Mount Rushmore, because our minds wandered. And then we have...
guys on chicks to wrap it all up.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And I love the song for the freedom.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all of your sons. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to

Speaker 1 Pardon My Take Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then Barstake.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Wednesday, July 12th, and PFT.
we're back, baby. The NL is back.
We've won the all-star game, the most important game in the entire summer.

Speaker 1 It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys. The NL's back on top.

Speaker 5 You know, it's kind of sick to think about is somehow baseball does have the most competitive all-star game. When you look across every sport, they all suck.
They all suck.

Speaker 5 This happened to be an especially shitty game because I think, like everybody else in America, I was rooting for a tie.

Speaker 5 I was rooting for the dingers off for extra innings where it was going to be three players, three swings each from each team. And whoever got the most dingers was going to win the all-star game.

Speaker 5 That's what I wanted to see. That's what everyone wanted to see.
At least the long, as you said, the long National League nightmare is over in America. It's been nine games.

Speaker 5 They were in a nine-game losing streak, which is bizarre. It's like so insane to think that in an all-star game between the two leagues, that one team could dominate like the AL has.

Speaker 5 But somehow it happened, and they lost twice tonight, too, because shout out to the Mariners fans who took a stand for America and took a stand for righteousness.

Speaker 5 And they booed the Astros players coming in this game. Thank you, Seattle.
Good sports town. Hank's not here, so I can say it, and he won't bleep it out.

Speaker 5 He won't delete it because he's usually a coward. Seattle, good sports town.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. And it was, you know, listen.
All the AL fanboys are going to be like, oh, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 It's just an all-star game. No, no, no.
It matters. The NL's back on top.
1-0 in the last one. It's called the Midsummer Classic for a reason.
Okay.

Speaker 5 It's actually the MLB Cup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't get better. Yeah, every player actually wins a free roster spot on the Houston Rockets.
So it's a pretty big deal. It's a pretty big deal.
But yeah, it was a boring game.

Speaker 1 Other than the start was awesome when it was just those two awesome catches, awesome catches.

Speaker 5 That wasn't a great start for me. I bet on the over in the first inning.
And so to have two warning track catches at the wall like that,

Speaker 5 you know what? At least at that point, I knew, okay, I can get up and go to the kitchen, make my dinner because this bet's done.

Speaker 1 And I'll say this, and this is going on a little bit of a tangent because

Speaker 1 no one has brought this up recently, but we're at the point of the summer where it's like, I just really want football to be back. And I find myself missing college football.

Speaker 1 I love NFL, but college football I miss the most because of the chaotic energy. Like that is the chaotic energy sport because you have guys messing up and making mistakes that just leads to craziness.

Speaker 1 MLB, they're so fucking good. Every time that ball got hit in the outfield and the sun was like right on the edge and you're like, they should absolutely miss this catch.
And then they get it.

Speaker 1 It's a real big bummer. I want to see more errors.
I want to see more, you know, chaotic energy. So they're just too good.
The pros are too good.

Speaker 1 It turns out the all-star game, the baseball players playing in the all-star game are pretty good at baseball.

Speaker 5 They should just have two outfielders. Two outfielders and metal bats.
At least metal bats in the home run derby.

Speaker 5 Actually, you know what the one thing that the all-star game is really good for and the home run derby is the people that like to change rules, the Mike Greenberg dumb rules.

Speaker 5 This is the best time of year for that. I know during the home run derby, you had a really good rule about just about the guys, the kids that are out in the outfield.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
So the kids in the outfield, we saw one of them get just absolutely smoked by a Vladdy line drive.

Speaker 1 And it made me think, and as I was thinking about it before, but like, when someone gets hit with a ball, I want to laugh, right? I want to laugh. It's funny.
I want to see injuries. They're funny.

Speaker 1 They're funny to watch.

Speaker 1 Person falling on face, guy getting hit in the balls, all funny things to me. Maybe someone getting hit in the stomach, puking.

Speaker 5 Guy walks down the stairs after yelling at the umpire and shatters both his patel attendants.

Speaker 1 Funny. I watched it a hundred times, but I have a heart.
And as a father of three, I do not like to see kids get hurt. So I'm watching the home run derby.
I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'd rather, if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat, like college, 20 to 30 year old kids, guys,

Speaker 1 drunk as hell, fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Because then we can laugh.
As a country, we can laugh at them.

Speaker 5 They brought it on themselves at that point. That would be very funny to watch.

Speaker 5 I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids, they could then elect to compete in the home run derby. to win their freedom, to win their way out.

Speaker 5 If they win the home run derby, they get to come back for the rest of the year and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year.

Speaker 5 If they don't win, they're suspended for the rest of the year.

Speaker 1 Okay, I love that idea. Let me just throw a little addition to it.

Speaker 1 They can compete in the home run derby or the night of the home run derby, they can compete in a winner-takes-all match where we have like a big ring and a bunch of live,

Speaker 1 ferocious animals try to attack them. And if they survive that, then they get their freedom.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's fine too. You can do gladiator style.

Speaker 1 I like that. You basically made gladiator for steroid abusers.
I like that a lot.

Speaker 5 But, but how electric would that be? It's like, okay, you got caught. If you admit, if you, if you, you can't say like, somebody put something in my workout supplement.

Speaker 5 You can't pull a Julian Edelman on this. You can't like deny like, oh, I went to GNC and bought something off the shelf.
I thought it was safe. You have to be like, yeah, hand up.

Speaker 5 I was using steroids because I love dingers.

Speaker 5 And if you love dingers that much, why don't you get on the field and hit a whole pack of dingers for everybody i i love the idea would you be open to saying too that if you win your freedom you also win the freedom to continue to do steroids the rest of the year no that's why i said yeah yeah you get to get this that's part of the thing yes where if you win you get to stay juiced for the rest of the year also we could incorporate kind of your rule and just put every player from the 2000 what was it the 2019 uh astros put them in the outfield and they're blindfolded yes yes they have a glove they can protect themselves but but they're blindfolded they're blindfolded with um the big rubber ducks that make huge noises you see at like target on their feet so you can you can you the players can be like yeah they're squeaking around they're looking like idiots they can't really run and they're blindfolded um there was there was a great moment in the home run derby uh switch hitter we had a switch hitter yeah that went from both sides of the plate and um

Speaker 5 he should have just hit right-handed the whole time he was awesome from the right side and to okay so a lot of people were saying, isn't this a touching moment?

Speaker 5 We get this maybe once every couple of years. His dad was throwing BP to him,

Speaker 5 which is great. It's a great moment.
But do you think that there's a small part of his dad that goes home?

Speaker 5 And at the end of the day, you still have to look yourself in the mirror and know that you got shelled by your son tonight.

Speaker 1 Oh, definitely. And if you don't pitch well, too.

Speaker 1 That's actually the worst thing.

Speaker 5 But it wouldn't be funny if we had a wife in the eye and you're like, yeah, okay, we did a great thing for his son, but also I know you think less of me as a man because I gave up so many dingers tonight.

Speaker 1 We need like Chris Bryant's dad who would probably try to strike him out the entire time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the home run derby, I think we say this every year. They screwed it up.
They've screwed it up. I know what it used to be with the 10 ounce.
It took forever because guys were just taking pitches.

Speaker 1 But yet again, we have a home run derby where we just, it's essentially a stamina competition of who can hit the fastest home runs.

Speaker 1 And it has nothing to do with the long ball and being able to just ooh and ah, a Sammy Sosa just hitting moonshots. I want that back.
So I don't know what they have to do.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's just 10 outs and you can only take like three pitches the entire time, but I just, it just isn't as fun.

Speaker 1 I know that Julio Rodriguez breaking the record, that was cool, but you don't get to see any of them land.

Speaker 1 I want to see balls go 500 feet and I want to watch them and I want to watch someone try to catch them. And then the guy steps back and he's like, all right, here comes another.
Watch this. And boom.

Speaker 1 and here comes another. Not this boom, boom, boom, boom, rapid fire.

Speaker 5 Yeah, each home run, it felt like it meant more because we were all we all got to take all of it in.

Speaker 5 Now, as you see a ball go out, they show you the exit velocity and they show you the speed at which it leaves the bat.

Speaker 5 And then you have to do the math in your own head and be like, Yeah, that was probably Dinger. Nice dinger that I didn't even get to.

Speaker 5 They've turned the home run derby into math, right?

Speaker 1 Right. And obviously, these are all mid-July problems we're talking about.
And

Speaker 5 we should say that Vladdie Jr., he got fucked going into the final round because he's a big boy. He took big boy daddy hacks, and he was exhausted by the time the semifinals were over.

Speaker 5 Then he had to bat again, right, like one right after the other, and he still won. That was a shocker to me and most people that were watching.
But yeah, they need to find a way to

Speaker 5 incorporate some of the old part. Maybe you can put like a time limit.
If you make it, I don't know, like six minutes per player,

Speaker 5 but you have to like let every home run land so they're not taking all the pitches. Yes, I want to see every

Speaker 1 ball land.

Speaker 5 You can't take your next cut until the first one lands.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. I we're complete agreement in that.
Um, yeah, Vladdy, wild moment, Jake. Seeing all the pictures of Vladdie and Vladdie, Vladdie Jr.
They both won, what was it, 16 years apart?

Speaker 1 They won home run derbies, something like that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 truly wild. I mean, that's Jake.
Your heart must have been fluttering because

Speaker 1 it's baseball. It's the most romantic sport.
It's midsummer classic it's a home run derby father son you you probably were creaming your dockers

Speaker 1 pretty close

Speaker 5 it's hard not to get romantic about baseball who was it after the the derby was over they were they were talking about vlad jr and they said like isn't this a great story you were born in cuba and you come to america and you win the home run derby's like wait i'm pretty sure he was born in canada he was born in canada he was born in canada and i don't think that no i'll have to look it up jay can you fact check me on this?

Speaker 5 I don't think that Vladimir Guerrero is Cuban.

Speaker 1 No, I'm pretty sure he was raised in Dominican.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Dominican Republic, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm 90% sure. But yeah, they really screwed that one up.

Speaker 1 Also, it was great that we got to see that hardo Pete Alonzo lose. Because

Speaker 1 I'm going to say it. I know Mets fans.
get a reputation for being a little toxic.

Speaker 1 We might know a couple of them in our lives, and they do seem to complain more than any other fan base, probably rightfully so, because bad things happen to them.

Speaker 1 It would drive me nuts if my best player took the home run derby as seriously as Pete Alonso does.

Speaker 1 It would drive me insane.

Speaker 5 Yeah. If you win, then

Speaker 1 even when he wins,

Speaker 5 you can still be like, yeah, that's right. We got the best home run hitter in Major League Baseball.
It's provable. You can at least pretend to celebrate that.

Speaker 5 But when he doesn't win, it's just like, what are we doing, Pete? What are we doing, man?

Speaker 5 Also, of note, Christian Yelich, that coward, did not compete in the home run derby.

Speaker 1 Don't do that.

Speaker 5 Don't do that. What? He's a coward.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Christian Yelich, our good friend,

Speaker 1 wisely took the home run derby off because he wants to focus on the second half, and he should do that for the rest of his career. He's a coward.

Speaker 5 He's not, yeah, that's what he's going to do. He's, he's, I think he's afraid of how much he's going to love watching me and you tongue punch each other's fart boxes.
He's going to have to watch.

Speaker 5 You know that, right?

Speaker 1 Like, if he ends up winning the home run derby, he's going to have to click on to whatever video we put out of me and you licking each other's buttholes yes absolutely um we also should note the all-star jerseys were terrible i don't know what they were doing they looked so so bad uh it feels like it's you shouldn't i you shouldn't be able you should like it should be easy to not mess this up and i also wouldn't hate it if they i don't know if they you i feel like i remember that they used to but did they ever do it where it was just roads and and home like you wore your uniform with like an emblem on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think for a while it was like that. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 5 I don't know that they used to let them wear their own hats.

Speaker 1 PFT, I think it's also just baseball in general that is ripe for us just changing rules. It's the most,

Speaker 1 the rules feel, they change some for the better. The pitch clock has been awesome.
Only Billy doesn't like it because he wants to get drunk. And

Speaker 1 there's been a lot of good rule changes, but go back to some of the old school. Maybe we're just getting nostalgic, but go back to some of the like the 90s all-star home run derby stuff.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so the NBA gets all their rule changes from Reddit to a fault. The MLB gets all their rule changes from Truth Social.

Speaker 5 There's got to be some like halfway meet in the middle where just common sense can prevail and try to help out Rob Manford with everything.

Speaker 5 They should have made the bases even bigger for the all-star game.

Speaker 5 That would have been great. Just giant bases.

Speaker 1 Hit the button, make the bases bigger um okay so uh reminder we we the rest of our show we're actually back together so hot seat cool throne and guys on chicks and dallas godder and mount rush were all in the same room um but reminder friday takeies

Speaker 1 over 20 different awards blake of the year podcast listener of the year it was a fantastic show it's one of my favorite shows every year A lot of pressure. A lot of pressure.

Speaker 1 Hope everyone's doing their job. Subscribing and unsubscribing, sharing it, going up to a random phone, subscribing, listening to it, playing the YouTube on loop.

Speaker 1 All these things matter. I would like to win.

Speaker 5 I would go out there to go to a public library and go to every computer and click subscribe on part you take.

Speaker 1 And start playing the YouTube and just have it, do the playlist and have it play.

Speaker 1 Apple Store. Every screen in the Apple Store.
Yes. Yes.
Someone do that for us. And maybe, maybe you will win your eighth straight award winning listener awards.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's kick it back to ourselves. Hot seat, cool throne, Mount Rushmore of triangles, Dallas Goddard, and guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 Man, I'll tell you what, when you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 1 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 1 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 1 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're up first. Surprising.
Wow. Never thought you'd go first.
My hot seat is America. Okay.
Why?

Speaker 1 My good friends over in Thailand came out at Burger King Thailand

Speaker 1 called The Real Burger.

Speaker 1 It's just 20 slices of cheese in between a bun. Yeah, it rocks.

Speaker 5 It rocks. And this is bad timing for Zion Williamson,

Speaker 5 who's just been talking about how hard he's trying to maintain weight. That's going to be an issue for him.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have one. Yeah, well, you got to go to.

Speaker 5 Well, no, there are some places over here in America. I know that there's an international McDonald's here in Chicago.
There's definitely an international Burger King somewhere.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it looks delicious. So it's just a grilled cheese.
With 20 pieces of cheese. But does the cheese grill? I don't know.
Dude, grilled cheese is, I think, top

Speaker 1 top meals that you can randomly crave. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you guys ever have that where it's like, it's not something you eat very often, but it's like every, I don't know, month or two months, I say to myself, I really want a grilled cheese.

Speaker 5 I also think that a grilled cheese is one of those things that it's better the less effort that you put into it.

Speaker 5 Like you can make a gourmet grilled cheese with some of the best cheese in the world, but for my money, if you just take like two slices of Wonder Bread and some craft singles, that's perfect.

Speaker 1 And a shitload of butter. Shitload of butter.

Speaker 5 Shitload of butter.

Speaker 1 Some people put nice crispiness.

Speaker 5 Some people put mayonnaise on both sides, which sounds gross, but as a male boy, I approve. And it works.

Speaker 1 It actually gives you a nice crisp on either side.

Speaker 5 That reminds me one time Papa John's R.I.P. Papa, what's he up to these days? We got to track him down.

Speaker 1 He's running for government. He's running for government.
He's been for government, just in general.

Speaker 5 He's going to be government. Yeah.
But one time, Papa John's had a special role

Speaker 1 where they had,

Speaker 5 if your football team scored a certain number of touchdowns, you got a free topping for every touchdown they scored.

Speaker 5 And one, this is back to like 2013, the Redskins scored, I don't know, like 50 points out of nowhere. And so I ordered a Papa John's pizza that had 11 extra cheeses on it.

Speaker 5 And that reminded me a lot of it. It was just piled high.
It was maybe the best pizza I've ever had. It was like deep ditches.

Speaker 1 Like a deep ditch. Yeah.
Fantastic. So cheese is back.
Cheese is back. America's in the hot seat.
And then the cool throne, I'm going to put myself on the cool throne.

Speaker 1 We started a home run league, dingers-only, fantasy baseball league.

Speaker 1 TJ, producer of that show, told me that Vlad Grow Jr. was a bad pick because he doesn't have a good home run swing.
He won the home run derby.

Speaker 1 And I think since we've already established that we can kind of change rules and reformat things, that I should be retroactively awarded points. Considering

Speaker 1 the Dingers-only league,

Speaker 1 the whole point of the league is to pick players that hit Dingers.

Speaker 1 So the home run derby should be the World Series.

Speaker 5 So you think that he should have 25 points because he hit that many home runs?

Speaker 1 No, no. The real thing is...
If we're a Dingers-only league, we should be awarding the best dinger hitter in the league. Hank.
And whoever's team he's on, that person should get extra points.

Speaker 1 What we need to do, we need to stay one ahead of NBA and Adam Silver. Next year, we'll have an in-season tournament that will be played on the home run derby.

Speaker 5 The Dingers Cup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Dingers Cup. You pick a player on the Dingers, on the home run derby, and that becomes the Dingers' cup.

Speaker 1 I think we should vote on what. I mean, it's just

Speaker 1 vote for everybody. Let's just do this in this room.

Speaker 5 Who thinks Hank should get a lot of points for a meaningless competition that wasn't presented?

Speaker 1 Dingers only, in my job, hit the most.

Speaker 5 Hank doesn't even vote for himself.

Speaker 1 Okay. All those against? All right.
Oh, Hank's hands up.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 5 Sorry, Hank. You voted against yourself.

Speaker 1 It's a dingers-only league. I think, in the spirit of competition, I think all the AWLs would agree with me.
In the spirit of competition, you're gaslighting us.

Speaker 1 It's dingers only. And I had the player that hit the ball.

Speaker 1 You know what? We'll let you have Vlad's home run derby total. You can't golf for the rest of the summer.

Speaker 1 Well, then I'd win the league. Probably, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't. Are you serious right now? I don't want to fucking do the punishment.
I mean, I.

Speaker 1 You have a good. You used to pitch.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 You're lefty.

Speaker 1 I just feel like I should be awarded for it.

Speaker 1 And And I know that if either of you two were in the same position, you would actually the same way you retroactively change the rules, you would re-retroactively change the rules for yourself.

Speaker 1 I won't count any of Ryan Mountcastle's home run derby swings. Yeah.
I just, whatever.

Speaker 1 It's dingers only, I thought, in the spirit of the league, you know, dingers, we should be awarding the greatest dinger hitter in the league, Vlad Grojan. How about this?

Speaker 5 If the guy on your team makes the postseason, those dingers count.

Speaker 1 No, let's just keep going with dingers only,

Speaker 1 not home run dingers from the home run derby. That doesn't.
What are you talking about? A dinger is a dinger. If you say.
And I agree. I shouldn't be every home run he hit, but 41.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want one? I'll give you one. I'd give one home run or 10.
No, no, no. You can get one home run.
10 bonus points. It seems like a fair, fair.

Speaker 1 We already agreed. Disagreed.

Speaker 1 You're just saying this because there were some people who were like, do home run dingers count? Oh, you know what it was? It was Tom, Tom Ferneli. Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's right. He asked me.

Speaker 1 Do home run dingers count?

Speaker 1 You were stealing Tom's cake again. Yeah, again.
No. Yeah, yeah, you are.
You are. My DMs the past three weeks have been flooded with exclusively people saying

Speaker 1 Dingers Only and

Speaker 1 you haven't been on your phone. Dingers Only and

Speaker 1 Big Hat tried to rob me in Dungeons and Dragons.

Speaker 1 How?

Speaker 5 I mean, I could want me to, there's been so many.

Speaker 1 That also came out. How did I try to rob you?

Speaker 5 Like three days ago.

Speaker 1 They just said that I should have, I should have, I got the most kills by a wide market. But I killed you.
But

Speaker 1 you should have already been dead. No, but I killed you, so how could you have the most kills when I killed the guy? If you had the most kills, I killed you.

Speaker 1 Because if you had followed the rules correctly, then you would have missed it. Tim Woods is the one who judges the rules.
Are you questioning Tim Woods?

Speaker 5 This is also, it goes against the spirit of Dungeons and Dragons 100%.

Speaker 1 Exactly. It's also you guys not giving me points for winning the home run derby goes against the dingers-only

Speaker 1 league.

Speaker 1 Yes, the league is dingers-only, and you're not crediting the home run derby.

Speaker 1 Just so that we can recap. This is pathetic.

Speaker 1 You want home runs that count in a made-up tournament that doesn't have anything to do with the actual

Speaker 1 count. And you also think Tim Woods is an idiot.
Fiction, fiction. I think that if you, the person on your team in the dingers-only league, wins the home run derby, you should get extra points.

Speaker 5 Okay, how about a pizza party? Yeah, we'll give you a pizza party. Done.
Dingers-only, pizza party. Done.

Speaker 1 Fine. Yeah, you won the dingers cup.
Good job.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 10 points. Yeah, dingers cup, pizza party.

Speaker 5 Good job. Great job, Adam.
In season. That wasn't pathetic at all.
Yeah, that wasn't.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's Dingers-only, right?

Speaker 5 He won a participation trophy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's dingers-only.

Speaker 1 He won the home run derby of Dingers.

Speaker 5 Okay, good job.

Speaker 1 Good job, Henry. You won the cup.
You won the in-season cup.

Speaker 1 Okay, PFT, your hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 5 My hot seat is Chief Zaholic. Yeah.
Chief Zaholic got arrested. The law caught up to him, and

Speaker 5 he was put in cuffs. And some more details came out about Chief Zaholic's crime spree.
Apparently, it wasn't just him robbing one bank in Oklahoma.

Speaker 5 Apparently, this dude went around the country, kind of as we suspected, to every like Road Chiefs game, robbing banks.

Speaker 5 He had an ironclad, foolproof method of laundering his money, which was he would take his cash to a casino, exchange it for chips, play like one hand of blackjack, and then turn his chips back in.

Speaker 5 They put all that together. So he's busted by the feds big time.
Probably going to go to prison for a while.

Speaker 1 Wait, are you saying he wasn't a criminal mastermind?

Speaker 5 I'm saying what I am saying about Chief Zaholic is don't we have bigger fish to fry than Chief Zaholic? Don't we, as a nation? Nobody went to jail for the financial crisis back in 2007, 2008.

Speaker 5 All those bankers are still out there. Chief Zaholic is basically a modern-day Robin Hood, stole from the banks, gave to himself, and we're castigating him for it.

Speaker 5 We're throwing him in jail, maybe for the rest of his life. It feels messed up.
Yes. Also,

Speaker 5 he should have left the country.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is Billy going to do now?

Speaker 5 Nothing.

Speaker 5 That was Billy's only job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Keep Chief Zaholic on the run. Yeah.
Or find him.

Speaker 5 My other hot seat is novelty drinks because Margaritaville and Times Square closed. I did.
It shut its doors. Do you? It was a great place.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.

Speaker 5 They had at least upwards of one working elevator at any given time. How many times did you go? I went once.

Speaker 1 Do you think you're somewhat to blame?

Speaker 5 For leaving?

Speaker 1 For moving to Chicago? Probably. No, no, just for not like you should have.
Been going every weekend.

Speaker 5 Well, I tried to go twice, but the first time I went. Vacation destination.
They closed it down for the summer.

Speaker 5 it wasn't open in the summer and then it was only open in november which is when i went surprisingly not a lot of people go to margaritaville in november and december in times square in new york city i never saw this failing this is brutal i tried my very best to make it work it didn't work out i do there was a small part of me that was like you know oh they saw that pft has moved to chicago who's going to come to our resort and they're like we better close this thing down but i i didn't see a way that it was going to fail and it failed which is very very sad i'm going to miss i'm going to miss that margaritaville margaritaville should be too big to fail it should it should be be subsidized by the government.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm going to miss it, but I will find. There are other margaritavilles out there, which I will be going to.
Yes.

Speaker 5 Then my cool throne is, I was going to say Zion Williamson. I mentioned it earlier.
He talked about how he has something to blame for his weight gain and his issues.

Speaker 5 Just getting paid a lot of money when he's 24 or 22 years old, having all the money in the world. And it's tough to not eat.
I understand.

Speaker 5 If you gave me that much money when I was 22, I would also get fat as fuck.

Speaker 5 But my other cool throw is going to be the USA, because the USA beat Canada in the CONCACAF Gold Cup.

Speaker 1 Finals.

Speaker 5 No, no, that was the quarterfinals. Oh.
So we moved on. We beat the dastardly Canadians in a penalty kick shootout, and it was awesome.
The shootout was fun as fuck.

Speaker 5 It started out with maybe the most dramatic scene I've ever seen in professional soccer.

Speaker 5 Both the teams were lined up waiting to start kicking, and the ref was like, no, you guys got to back up to midfield. The USA said, fuck you.
I'm not leaving. Canada, you move first, then we'll move.

Speaker 5 So it was a standoff, just both teams waiting for each other. After about like two minutes of both teams not moving, Canada started to backpedal first.

Speaker 5 And then the USA was like, that's right, bitch, we told you to move. They backed up.
Matt Turner stepped in.

Speaker 5 Goalkeeper for Arsenal, which is why they're so good, why they won the Champions League last year. And so he started backing up, or the rest of the team started backing up.
We go on to win.

Speaker 5 Dominate Canada again tonight. We're playing Panama.

Speaker 5 in the semifinals. Easy to up yours, Panama.

Speaker 1 Are we going to put out our best team?

Speaker 5 Give us the canal back. Probably not.
Probably not. I think they're still taking a break.
Hank pretends that he doesn't like soccer.

Speaker 5 I think deep down inside, you would like rooting for America, Hank.

Speaker 1 I'm just looking for a really good Champions League team.

Speaker 1 That's not what you're looking for.

Speaker 1 We've talked about this. Burnley? Champions League is like the top teams they play in the tournament.
You're looking for a really good Championship League team. What the fuck is the difference?

Speaker 1 There's like the

Speaker 1 champion team? Yeah. No, Champions League is the highest of high.

Speaker 1 You're looking for a second-tier team in England. Yes.
Right. That's not Champions League.
Shit.

Speaker 1 That's okay.

Speaker 5 Champions League is like the top of every European league. Right.
Got it. League.

Speaker 1 It is a little confusing. So there's Champions League and Championship League.
The English Premier League, and then I'm pretty sure the second league is called the English Championship League. Yep.

Speaker 1 So that is confusing. I would agree with you.

Speaker 5 The Champions League is like teams from all over Europe.

Speaker 1 I've just been thinking about it. I want to get into soccer.
I really want to find a good championship league team. I need to double check to make sure I was right about this because it is.

Speaker 5 You know what I love about international teams?

Speaker 1 I actually don't give a fuck.

Speaker 5 It gives you every excuse to just be like,

Speaker 5 fuck you, we're from America.

Speaker 1 It's the English League Championship, it's the second league. Quite confusing, I would agree.
And then I think it just goes like league two, and then like, yeah, oh, no. What's La Liga? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's even more confusing. It goes EPL.
I know that one. Then it goes English League Championship.

Speaker 1 Then it goes English League One.

Speaker 1 That's the third one. That's the third one.

Speaker 5 That is tricky.

Speaker 1 Where does La Liga run? La Liga is Spain. It's four.
The Farmers is not

Speaker 1 what we're talking about. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I don't know what that means. I just hear people say it.
That's where Messi used to play. The Farmers League? Yeah, the Farmers League.
Farmers Only.

Speaker 1 All right. My

Speaker 1 hot seat is Darren Revell.

Speaker 1 So Pat Fitzgerald got fired from Northwestern. I was a little shocked.
I thought he'd survive it, but it seems like more came out. It seemed like it was a situation that was bigger than

Speaker 1 one thing.

Speaker 1 And then Darren Revelle went 24 hours

Speaker 1 silence on Twitter. Finally broke his silence after about 27 hours and just wrote sad period.

Speaker 5 Darkness retreat for old Darren. Yeah.
He was probably doing some mental gymnastics. Listen, Darren, it happens to the best of us.
You all get got sometime. You have to take it like a man.

Speaker 5 You have to issue a statement. I know a lot of people online were waiting, what does Darren Revelle have to say about this? Does he have a comment? Is he going to take the side of his coach?

Speaker 5 Is he going to take the side of his university? Yeah. He tried very hard.
He's got a lot of Pat Fitzgerald merch, probably.

Speaker 1 He got an ESPN headline changed. So there was a moment, if you follow the whole thing,

Speaker 1 there was an ESPN headline that said Pat Fitzgerald knew, and he got got very upset. Was like, there's no evidence that he knew, and then they changed it.

Speaker 1 He probably thought that he had, you know, staved off everyone at that point.

Speaker 1 Then he got fired. I imagined in my head, he is the woman at the inauguration of Trump who falls to her knees and yells no when he got fired.
He'd known him for 27 years. His very good friend.

Speaker 1 What happens if they get a coach that doesn't like Darren Revelle?

Speaker 5 He never hazed Darren Revelle. Yeah.
Darren definitely needed some hazing. Yeah.
The internet was broken down trying to figure out whether or not hazing was a good or bad thing.

Speaker 5 It was a banner day for people who were like, I got hazed, I turned out fine. Usually when you say I turned out fine about anything, it means that you did not turn out fine.
Yep.

Speaker 5 It means when you say like I got I got hazed and I turned out just fine except I'm a person that goes online to defend hazing. Yeah.
Besides that.

Speaker 1 That's like Andrew Tate usually has one of those a month where he's like my dad hit me when I was a kid and look how I turned out. I'm great.

Speaker 5 I am technically in a Romanian prison right now, but nothing bad happened to me.

Speaker 1 That's such a great point. Anyone who says I turned out fine, you are not.
About anything. Anything.

Speaker 5 It could be like XYZ happened to me when I was a kid. I turned out fine.
Yeah, I smoked.

Speaker 1 My father made me smoke cigarettes when I was five years old. Look how I turned out.
Yeah, I'm great.

Speaker 5 I'm totally fine. I'm totally great.
I'm not mad at all. I'm totally fine about it.

Speaker 5 I think one thing we can all agree on, though, is a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach would be Urban Meyer.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Let's get Urban back in the conversation. Not afraid to get his hands dirty.
The guy is a molder of young men. And let's just get Urban back into the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and say what you will. Like, you know, hazing, not okay.
Urban Meyer will just do it himself by kicking kickers. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 He'll be the head hazer. Yeah.
He knew all along. Yeah.

Speaker 5 The naked bear crawl doesn't sound like hazing. That part just sounds like guys being dudes.
Yeah. The rest of it, yeah, you can make some arguments for.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I did a naked bear crawl when I was a kid. I turned out fine.

Speaker 1 It turned out fine.

Speaker 1 It was definitely a situation, though, that

Speaker 1 when you're watching Ravel just go silent, I don't actually care what he has to say. I just know that if it was any other school, he would be the first to talk about it.
Complete hypocrite and coward.

Speaker 1 And then all he said was sad.

Speaker 1 Also, knowing him, knowing the infamous Super Bowl video where he has all of his tweets crafted and planned before, the all-star home run derby night is a huge night for those random, stupid tweets that

Speaker 1 he probably had to wash at least 10 to 15 15 tweets about random home run derby-related factoids because he had to stay silent.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the length of all the home runs added together

Speaker 5 could go across the country, that sort of shit. Yes, yeah, it's a big night for him.

Speaker 5 He went radio silent. That was sad to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he probably had some really cool old pictures of Vlad Jr.

Speaker 1 You know, and it just, it was just, it was very funny. I was just watching it.

Speaker 1 I was on, I was on Revelle Watch, and he just had a picture of the parking in Seattle for the home run derby as his last tweet from like 1 p.m. on Monday.
That was it. That's it.
It was so perfect.

Speaker 5 We didn't get any concession stand prices. No concession stand.
It was really, it was a disservice that he did to his followers.

Speaker 1 Do you think he's more sad that Pat Fitzgerald got fired because he knows him and he had it in and like he considered him a friend?

Speaker 1 Or because I know for a fact he owns over three pieces of Pat Fitzgerald member.

Speaker 5 Yeah, probably that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's probably that.

Speaker 5 I own nine dreadlocks that got cut off of Northwestern players before they were deemed acceptable to join the team.

Speaker 1 I owe three three bars of soap that were used in the human loofah. Now what am I supposed to do with this? A Shrek mask.
What am I going to do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's definitely what he's thinking right now. He probably has like Peffis Gerald's Social Security card from when he was like a kid.

Speaker 5 I do, I think that we should hire their strength and condition guy, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That guy rocks.

Speaker 1 He's the man. And then my cool throne is

Speaker 1 all of us being intelligent people because I had a moment, I was reading an article the other day that I was like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm hard on myself for being the shit for brains, but no one's as dumb as the guy who got caught in the college baseball betting scandal.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys saw this, but the report finally came out exactly what happened. I'm going to read this to you real quick.

Speaker 1 On April 28th, Burt Eugene Neff Jr. walked into the Bet MGM Sportsbook at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati in possession of a large amount of cash, looking to make a huge score.

Speaker 1 His proposed wager quickly aroused concern and suspicion among the staff.

Speaker 1 Three people familiar with the investigation told Sports Illustrated that Neff wanted to bet more than $100,000 on a college baseball game that night, Alabama at number one LSU.

Speaker 1 The game had gotten virtually no gambling traffic, and Neff's desire to bet on the Tigers far exceeded the Sportsbook established house limit on college baseball.

Speaker 1 It was a foolhardy act that created a surreal scene, and the ripple effects from that incident continued to be felt more than a month later. So here's exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 Neff, an obscure youth league coach from Mooresville, Indiana, with a penchant for networking and recruiting circles, stood at the window and pleaded his case for making the huge wager to the books staff, the sources say.

Speaker 1 He indicated, this is to the staff, he indicated that he had inside information on the game, and he did it in the palm of his hand.

Speaker 1 Neff was texting with Alabama baseball coach Brad Bohannon via the encrypted messaging app Signal while at the ticket window, attempting to place the wager, the sources say.

Speaker 1 His texting texting was so indiscreet to the point that the books video surveillance cameras were able to zoom in on the details of Neff and Bohannan's text exchange, making Bohannan's name visible later in screenshots.

Speaker 1 Video cameras can see the text conversation back and forth. It couldn't have been more reckless.
It was, I don't know how you could be dumber than that.

Speaker 1 He walked up to the window, had $100,000 on a game that has no one betting on it, saying, I have inside information, then went, stood back, texted the coach so brazenly that they were able to just be like, dude, you're literally texting the coach right in front of them.

Speaker 5 That's partially on the coach for giving that tip to maybe his biggest shithead friend because he knew that this is a guy that could not be trusted with information.

Speaker 5 If you know this kind of guy at all, you know that he would do something like this. You got to just be like, be cool, man.
Pretty cool. Tell it to your friend who's cool.

Speaker 1 It was, it was a great reminder. Like, hey, I'm dumb.
I'm not that dumb.

Speaker 5 No, Paul Pelosi doesn't go up to Nasdaq and he's like, I've got a great tip on semiconductor.

Speaker 1 Let me put my

Speaker 1 trade in.

Speaker 5 Come on, this trade needs to go in.

Speaker 5 look i'm on the phone with my wife right now she's demanding that i log this that this option i need to put it in right now please backdate this for to yesterday yeah right now sir but yeah made me feel good also cool throwing uh zuck is pretty jacked yes yeah he's got like an eight pack although if i was that rich i'd i'd either be fat as like zion or i'd be jacked as hell like mark zuckerberg no in between i would just do the drugs to get jacked as shit and just still eat yeah yeah right exactly just eat and just just take drugs and have someone.

Speaker 1 Do you think that someone could get rich enough? Like, do you think the very richest people in the world have people just work out their body form?

Speaker 5 I've always wondered if they're not. Just somebody that comes by with the electric stimulator and just hits you?

Speaker 1 It just basically pushes your arms as you bench press.

Speaker 5 Just move me, move me around, do all the motions for me. Knock me out.

Speaker 1 That's actually lift.

Speaker 5 That's a good idea for... The next like home workout device is just a big suit that you strap yourself into and just moves you around.
So you don't have to think about doing it.

Speaker 5 You just sit in the suit for 30 minutes. You get a workout.

Speaker 1 It's the old Babe Ruth machine. Yeah.
When he would just stand in there and it would just jiggle and

Speaker 5 the towel on two sticks that just moves. Yeah.
Yeah. Nobody does that one anymore.
I'm sure it worked. Why not?

Speaker 1 Or just laying down and having someone throw a medicine ball at your stomach? Yeah. I think that's how Harry Houdini died.

Speaker 5 No, he got punched. No, I know.
Yeah, he got punched. In his stomach.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 R.I.P. R.I.P.
to a great one. Double H.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore triangles. And then we have a great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles.

Speaker 1 He was, I would say, our MVP from TEU because we interviewed him and we basically said that guy fucking rocks. We love him.
So it's a must-listen.

Speaker 1 Before we do that, PFD, you had a quick word from one of our sponsors.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore time. We are doing the Mount Rushmore of triangles.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore of Triangles. This one's

Speaker 1 contentious. Yeah, contentious.
PFT and I are first, then Billy and Jake, then Hank and Max.

Speaker 1 We're going to go

Speaker 1 hard in the paint to start the first one.

Speaker 1 Shark fin. Boom.
Shark fin. Shark fin.

Speaker 1 The scariest thing you see above the water, the shark fin.

Speaker 5 Last thing you see before you get fucked.

Speaker 1 Maybe the most dangerous triangle.

Speaker 5 Dazz ever done the Daws ride at Universal.

Speaker 1 No. You see the fin? Ooh, scary.

Speaker 5 Scary shark fin.

Speaker 1 Scary shark fin. Shark fin, number one triangle.
Yeah. Good pick.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Speaker 1 That's as close as we'll get to just having them blow us.

Speaker 1 It's great when there actually is a good pick and we all have to begrudgingly be like, good pick.

Speaker 1 Because you know it takes a lot. Yeah.
All right, we're going to go with something that everyone in the world has had and everyone in the world likes. A slice of pizza.

Speaker 5 Ooh. That's a good pick.
Good pick.

Speaker 1 That's a good pick. Good pick.

Speaker 1 Fuck. This draft is awesome.
I studied. We studied.
We came ready. Good pick.

Speaker 1 Max? Max? Oh, it's us. That was going to be our pick.
That's a good question. That's a chase.
You've been wanting to do this for a very long time.

Speaker 1 We will go with a tortilla chip. Ooh, good pick.
Good pick. It's a good pick.

Speaker 1 And then we will go with,

Speaker 1 this might be contentious.

Speaker 1 The pyramids. Ooh.
That's a triangle. Not a triangle.
It's going to be like a big pyramid.

Speaker 1 They're literally called pyramids.

Speaker 5 They're called a different shape.

Speaker 1 It's a three-dimensional observation object. We have this on our list, but Billy shot it down.
Because it's three-dimensional. It's.
But it's triangular. I feel like that's

Speaker 5 a pyramid a triangle.

Speaker 1 It has it has more than three sides. I guess a triangle has three sides, but it has more than three sides.
A pyramid if you're looking at it from the front,

Speaker 1 you're seeing three sides.

Speaker 5 Okay, from the front? So, what's the front of a triangle? Where? What's the front of a pyramid?

Speaker 1 Wherever they put the fucking the king.

Speaker 5 Inside. They put it inside the pyramid.

Speaker 1 So the pyramids of Giza or just the pyramids?

Speaker 5 Are you talking about Giza?

Speaker 1 Is it allowed?

Speaker 1 I think. I mean, maybe.

Speaker 5 Maybe it's triangular shape.

Speaker 1 Maybe just say a silhouette of a pyramid. I I don't have a problem with it playing.
Okay, that's true. Here's the thing.
They're literally built by aliens. I will.
Iconic.

Speaker 5 I vote to allow Hank's bullshit pick, but just know people are going to come at you for it.

Speaker 1 So what do you want? The pyramids of Giza or just the pyramids? He's taking the pyramids. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think the one you came up with right here.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yeah.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Wait, did you guys pick twice? Yeah, it took torches. That's right.
That's right. Yep.

Speaker 1 A beer pong rack. Why were you just taking a picture of me? I'm sending it to someone.
For what?

Speaker 1 Where can you meet right now? I said, no. I'm recording.
Who asked? Stephen Che. Oh.

Speaker 1 Should we redo that? Would you do it? No, that's fine. A rack beer pong ball.
Tell CC. A rack of beer pong cups.
Okay, that's good.

Speaker 1 Fuck off. Beer pong off.
So

Speaker 5 are you talking about the full rack six? Are you talking about 10 rack or

Speaker 1 triangular?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I want to know specifically.

Speaker 1 Well, we're just putting a beer pong rack. Like 21 cup.

Speaker 5 I want to know what Billy's thought of a beer pong rack is.

Speaker 1 I mean, I like to play 21 cup. Okay.
Okay, sick. 21 cups.
I like to play 21 cups. That's it called Nanpong.
Yeah. For men.
Dude,

Speaker 1 you ever do the full table? That was that rule.

Speaker 5 You Civil War? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Billy Ruffins. What's the last front pops?

Speaker 1 No, literally the full entire table is peer pong. So not triangular? No.

Speaker 1 You can rack a couple times, but it's the entire table's full. 100 cups, pretty cool.

Speaker 5 It's basically dudes just being like, we don't have any plans for the afternoon, so let's just... Here's our plan.
Let's do a six-hour activity where we get hammered. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This will be awesome. And then,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 5 Until you get to a fight with your best friend.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good pick. Thank you.
Good picks all around. Yeah, pretty good pick.

Speaker 5 Except pyramids.

Speaker 1 They got PFT with the wraparound. Okay, PFT.
I think. Pyramids are the most iconic thing ever built.

Speaker 1 They're one of the seven wonders of the world. And you're disparaging.

Speaker 5 I'm not denying that. I'm just saying, are they triangles?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 You're the geometry expert.

Speaker 5 They're made up of triangles. How many geometry classes have you taken?

Speaker 1 All right, well, Pizza Pizza is not a triangle, but slice is. There's three sides.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we picked a slice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we picked the slice of pizza. Slice of pizza.
Okay, I picked one side of the pizza. Okay, yep.

Speaker 5 What do you think about number 10?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think we go 8 and 10.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
I'll say 8. You say 10.
Okay.

Speaker 1 8 is going to be the hurdle button in Madden. Ooh, hurdle button in Madden.

Speaker 1 Sick button. What is it? Well, that's only the PlayStation.
It's PlayStation. Y.
Yeah, PlayStation. Yeah.
Okay. No, the hurdle button.
What about on Xbox? That's why. That's why.

Speaker 5 On PlayStation, it's triangle. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Learn ball. So hurdle button Madden.
Y and triangle is your answer. No, it's triangle.

Speaker 1 So do you want the hurdle button in Madden on a PS4? No.

Speaker 1 No, we can afford PS5s.

Speaker 5 Just the hurdle button in Madden.

Speaker 1 Jake, you're making that super complex.

Speaker 1 You're picking a triangle and Y. Don't listen to Hank.
Shut up, Hank.

Speaker 1 a hurdle button in Madden. You don't respect Haddon.
People will know what the hurdle button in Madden is.

Speaker 1 What about a person that's only played Xbox? Okay, well, then they'll figure out what it is.

Speaker 5 What about a person that's never been to Egypt, Hank?

Speaker 1 Also, I'm an Xbox guy, but I know exactly what. I've played a PlayStation before.
Yeah, I have.

Speaker 1 You've never played a PlayStation before. That's a lie.

Speaker 1 That is a lie. Cap.
That is an absolute fucking lie. Xbox.
You've never played a PlayStation. We have a PlayStation in the office.
You never played it? Nope. That's a lie.

Speaker 1 We'll find footage. Wait, so try.
So, yeah, I mean, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll find footage exactly exactly there's a triangle on the playstation line oh yeah okay all right our next one that's a pick we're gonna go with the blue mountain emojis on core's light

Speaker 5 that's right on a can look at a can of cores light it's two blue triangles yep well it's actually

Speaker 1 what it's not it's like one two three that's a that is a five it's actually

Speaker 1 technically no we're talking no we're talking about the ones that turn blue billy it's not a it's not an equilateral equilateral pentagon i will say there's five sides. That's a mountain range.

Speaker 1 No, that's five sides.

Speaker 1 There's five. Shut up.
There's five sides.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about like the designed mountains that are like drawn on there.

Speaker 5 No, no. I'm talking about the one off top.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 that's not a triangle.

Speaker 5 It's two triangles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but they're overlapping, but there's no cut. Yeah, you picked a mountain range.
You picked up the one. Those are two triangles fucking each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but way less of a triangle than a pyramid. I'll tell you that.
That's a triangle. If you look at it, those are two triangles.
One, two, three, four, five sides.

Speaker 1 That's two triangles next to each other.

Speaker 1 Well, it doesn't look like that. It looks like

Speaker 1 two triangles next to each other. No, no, no, no.
I'm not going to be a twin-peaked mountain.

Speaker 5 Because it's mountains. But that's a twin-peaked mountain.
Is it the mountain or blue, or is it the mountains or blue?

Speaker 1 Right, so you're picking a five-sided mountain. We're picking the two triangles.
That's like worse than a pyramid because

Speaker 1 we let pyramids stand.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we did. We just said that.
I'm letting it stand.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. A core like blue mountain moving on.

Speaker 1 No, not moving on. You know, you're wrong.
No, I'm right. It's a twin-peaked peak.
The cores like Blue Mountain. Billy, you're mad.
You didn't think of it. It's all you see when you see a

Speaker 1 cores like can is red.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's all you see.

Speaker 1 We see the whole beautiful can.

Speaker 1 We have two. Do we have two? No, we have one.

Speaker 1 No, we gotta go with something else. Why?

Speaker 1 This?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's boring. That is not boring, dude.
Oh,

Speaker 1 this one. This one.
No. The Bermuda triangle.
No. That's not boring.
The Bermudic triangle.

Speaker 1 We had that on our list. The deadliest triangle.
Yeah. We had it on our list.
Well, no, the deadliest triangle we already picked. It's the shark.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, the fin doesn't really. The fin tells you if you're not dead.
The fin tells you right before you're about to die, buddy. No.
No, the final thing. Anyone's died from a shark fin.

Speaker 1 I bet you someone has a fire.

Speaker 7 Also, dolphins have dorsal fins, too.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we're not going to do shark fins. I've seen a lot of sharks.

Speaker 7 You can take dolphin dorsal fins.

Speaker 1 You can take dolphin fins.

Speaker 5 Good pick. Right.

Speaker 1 But we won't have to be afraid. Everyone's trying to send a shark fin, you're you're over.
Also, you have to, you're dead.

Speaker 5 You can have shark fin soup, and it gives you boners.

Speaker 1 Facts. All right, you guys have your last two picks.
Hank, Max.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. I don't know what Max just gave me.
Look, this is going to tie back to

Speaker 1 the pyramids as well. Ooh, a tie-back pick.
The Illuminati size. Oh, that's a good pick.
Good pick. Good pick.
Good pick. That's a very good one.
Good pick.

Speaker 1 That's not a good one.

Speaker 1 And then we'll go.

Speaker 1 Fuck, what was was it?

Speaker 1 A guitar pick.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is that a triangle? Guitar pick? Yeah.
Is it rounded a little?

Speaker 5 It's rounded, but listen, I'm not in the business of integrating other people's picks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is rounded. Yeah, I'll count that as a triangle.

Speaker 1 All right, we can take another one. No, no, no,

Speaker 1 no, no, shark fins are rounded. Yeah.
What? Yeah, they are. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's fine. It's a fine pick.

Speaker 5 It's a fine pick, Hank.

Speaker 1 It is a pick. No, yeah, no, I'm allowed.
It's a pick. It's literally a pick.
Yeah. Yeah.
A pick. It's a great pick.
The pick pick. You couldn't.

Speaker 1 Factor fiction. You could never play guitar without the guitar pick.

Speaker 5 That's actually fiction.

Speaker 1 But like, a lot of people have heard of guitar. One of the greatest advancements in guitar playing was the guitar pick.
Factor fiction.

Speaker 5 I don't know if you can call that an advancement.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 it started without one, and then they advanced it. Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 5 I guess so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So fact.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, Mark Knopfler's pretty good at guitar. Doesn't use a pick.

Speaker 1 You ever heard of him?

Speaker 5 Dire Streets, Streets, bro. Money for nothing.

Speaker 1 I don't know either. That was my wife.
Romeo and Juliet.

Speaker 5 Sultans of Swing.

Speaker 1 Great song. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
All right. No problem.
Our final pick. PFT's favorite.
Doritos.

Speaker 1 Okay. So tortilla chips.
That's a tortilla chip. Tortilla chip.
That's a tortilla chip. Dorito.
That's a tortilla chip. It's a tortilla chip.
Dorito. Jake, look up Dorito.

Speaker 1 Look at the ingredients of a Dorito and tell me if tortilla chip is part of it because it is.

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 Cool Ranch Dorito.

Speaker 5 We had Cool Ranch Dorito on our list, but we can't do it after tortilla chip.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, oh, I'm going to take a pepperoni pizza slice. Well, we didn't take cheese.
Yeah, okay, you're right. No,

Speaker 1 you're right. Fair.
No, that was a good

Speaker 1 way to argue for yourself, Hannah. Hi, Billy.
We're going to go with Dorothy. That was fucking.
I'm proud of you. That's fair.
That was like a

Speaker 1 high school debater right there. You fucking

Speaker 1 correct. That's on my first rodeo.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1 Our final pick is going to be. Oh, oh, I have an idea.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I'm saying this like

Speaker 1 we talked about it.

Speaker 1 It's the.

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 5 Billy's got an idea.

Speaker 1 It's the football-related one. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 No, you said two. I'm saying two.

Speaker 1 No, no. The office love triangle of Jim, Pam, and Roy.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That story. I hated that.
It was so much fun.

Speaker 1 And that's Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 5 I don't think the love triangle made me laugh once.

Speaker 1 No, it's. I mean,

Speaker 1 might have been the cringiest part of the whole show. Yeah.
Well, it's a love triangle. It's a triangle.

Speaker 5 Jim not that great of a guy.

Speaker 1 Pam not that great of a girl. Can we get that extra pick? Roy just wanted to fucking ride Jet Skis.
Yeah. He was bro.

Speaker 1 All right, so it's our last pick?

Speaker 5 Yeah, Piquette, I think we go with...

Speaker 1 We have number one still there. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I was going to say number one or

Speaker 5 number 11.

Speaker 5 Let's go one. Okay.
Triangle offense.

Speaker 1 Triangle offense.

Speaker 5 Triangle offense.

Speaker 1 One titles. One titles.

Speaker 5 So many chips.

Speaker 1 Scotty, Scotty, triangle. Triangle.
It's a good pick. Triangle.
Yeah, it's a good pick in the fourth round, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We were thinking about maybe taking it first, and we're like, no, shark fitting, bro.

Speaker 1 That was a good Mount Rush one. It was a pretty good one.
We didn't even do any of the actual angles. Like, we didn't doce scale.
Scaling rocks.

Speaker 5 Well, how about this? Fuck Mary Kill, isosceles, scalene, equilateral, collateral, triangle.

Speaker 1 I would kill equilateral.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 I think you're right. Yeah.
I would kill equilateral. I would fuck fuck Scalene.
And I would marry isosceles. Yeah, because Isosceles, like, it's got some shit to her.

Speaker 1 Isosceles commented.

Speaker 5 It's kind of fun. Yeah.
But the scalene, you want to fuck one time, never be around anyone.

Speaker 1 No, the scalene triangle pegged you.

Speaker 5 No, the scalene triangle is the cracked iPhone of the Triangle Kingdom.

Speaker 1 Or do you fucking?

Speaker 5 Fun to hang out with for one night.

Speaker 1 Or do you marry Equilateral? Yeah, I think you marry Equilateral.

Speaker 5 No, but that would get boring after a while.

Speaker 1 I feel like the Scalene is actually a Coors Light Blue Mountain.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 5 the Scalene is safe, but also fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It kind of looks like it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Another one we missed. The Eiffel Tower is just all triangles.
It's pretty cool. Yeah.
That's how they built it. The Eiffel Tower in Vegas.
Okay. Yeah.
All right.

Speaker 5 The Sitko sign. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Here's the way Pargas. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Hank. Bass Pro Shops.

Speaker 5 Oh, the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Oh,

Speaker 1 fuck. Fuck.
I blew that one. Wow.
Damn it.

Speaker 5 Hank, you blew it worse, though, because you picked the pyramids and not the Bass Pro Shop.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I picked one of the seven wonders of the world. The seven

Speaker 1 Of the world.

Speaker 1 Did they add one?

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, the Bass Pro Shop.

Speaker 1 The Library of Alexandria or whatever is shut down. Dude, we lost a lot.
Shut down.

Speaker 1 Burned to the ground.

Speaker 1 We lost a lot in the Library of Alexandria. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Slice of watermelon. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Summertime. Summertime.
Yeah. Nothing better.
Just the food pyramid. No, the food pyramid sucks.
The food pyramid makes you feel bad. This was John John Wooden's Pyramid of Success.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's a good one.

Speaker 1 Pyramid schemes. Yeah.
Yeah. Damn.

Speaker 5 The food pyramid was such bullshit. They were like, yeah, you should just eat grains all the time.

Speaker 1 With all bread and just eat rice and no room for candy. I'm so mad we didn't do pyramid schemes.
Pyramid schemes rock. The flying scheme.
They're like pretty easy to do. If you're at the top.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, they kind of rule.
Like, I've always said

Speaker 1 I'd be down to get into a pyramid scheme and try to get some more people into it. And then bank.

Speaker 1 We had a rack of billiards balls.

Speaker 5 Okay. The flying wedge.

Speaker 1 the band,

Speaker 1 Flying V and Mighty Ducks. Or just regular ducks.
But there's only two sides for that. Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 5 There's no third side. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Paper football. Paper football is a good one.
Paper football rules.

Speaker 1 Shark tooth.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Shark tooth.

Speaker 5 Second best part of our selling event.

Speaker 1 When we were having that debate about shark fins and killing people, I sent hang shark tooth. And then he goes, that's a terrible pick.

Speaker 1 Because that's the thing that actually kills people is the shark tooth, which is also a triangle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but the fin is so badass. That's true.

Speaker 1 The fin is more iconic.

Speaker 1 But that was more of a fighting pick of you saying that the fin is what kills people. Yeah, I don't like getting contentious, so that's why I didn't pick it.
In Chicago, there's the Viagra Triangle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is that?

Speaker 1 It's just this little stretch where just old dudes just creep on younger ladies.

Speaker 1 There's fantastic restaurants there. Yeah, very good restaurants.
I've eaten there like three times. Yeah, it's very good restaurants.
Italian restaurants?

Speaker 1 Italian restaurants, yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucking memes what no it's just interesting that hank eats at the viaga triangle yeah he's trying to he's trying to find an older dude what do we what are we gonna do let him let him fucking play

Speaker 1 you do you've made until recently hank's life has just been hanging out with older dudes yeah that's true you do roll with an older crew yeah

Speaker 1 so you might you might have daddy issues

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm in the VT all the time.

Speaker 1 All right. Any others that we missed? I think we nailed most of them.
Yeah. Then we're going to see that list and we're going to feel the Batractor? Oh, the triangle.
Yeah, that one sucks.

Speaker 1 It's an honorable mention, but no one's been wowed by the triangle for an instrument.

Speaker 1 If the dude can't play an instrument, the audio plays a triangle.

Speaker 5 That's mean to Nate.

Speaker 1 Does he play the triangle? Oh, no, he plays tambourine. What's the signal for soccer VAR? Do they do a triangle? No, no, no.

Speaker 5 They make a television with their hands.

Speaker 1 Oh, we should do Mount Rushmore squares. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, there are a lot of good squares. Those are lame.

Speaker 1 What? I don't think they're lame. Jake Marsh.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's probably one of the more common pieces of criticism I get. 1-1.

Speaker 1 Nerd square.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Mount Rushmore, everyone. Way to go.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Philadelphia Eagles tight end Dallas Goddard.
He is here with us at tight end U.

Speaker 1 We told you right before you sat down, we got a great story for you, and I feel like it'd be a good icebreaker. Great one.
I'm looking forward to hearing it. So

Speaker 1 you have a friend named Dallas. I do.
Okay, yes. Okay, so when we were at the Super Bowl.
I know where this is going. Yes.
Max right here, big Eagles fan, huge Eagles fan.

Speaker 1 He gets, through a friend of a friend, starts texting your friend Dallas. Yep.
He thinks he's texting you the day before the Super Bowl,

Speaker 1 which would have been sick.

Speaker 1 He I would have been a little upset if you gave me the wrong Dallas. But here's the thing: your friend Dallas was texting him, being like, What are you up to tonight? The day before the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Turning up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was in Arizona. Everything probably locked up.
And he thought he was like, I'm going to party with Dallas Goddard the day before the Super.

Speaker 1 And so you also know Rory Hand. Yeah.
Yeah, I know Rory Hand. So he texted me

Speaker 1 and was like,

Speaker 1 He was like, yo, I got a friend. I got a friend who's at the Super Bowl.
And I was like, he might, I don't even know if he said that, but he was talking about you.

Speaker 1 And then I got a text and it was like, yo, Rory just gave me your number. It's Dallas.
And I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Obviously, obviously it's got to be you because

Speaker 1 he was just talking to me about you. Like, what are the chances that you have another friend also named Dallas that was also friends with the one mutual that I knew? And also in Arizona.
In Arizona.

Speaker 1 For Arizona. For Arizona.
Yeah. So yeah, that's true.
Maybe it wasn't you. No, I got it sent to me and uh, Rory actually uh sent it to me and being like, ha ha, I got these guys.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 He was pretty stoked about it. I'm like, cool, good job.
All right, so you're an idiot, Max, but that's okay. We love you.
Well, then the Shane Gillis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Shane Gillis then got involved and was texting his Max, and it was.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Shane thought that.

Speaker 1 Well, Shane was pretending to be Max, texting what he thought was you.

Speaker 1 Trying to sound cool. A whole deep circle.

Speaker 1 What do you say, straight chilling? Yeah, cool. Straight chilling.
Cool and cool. And what are you doing? Cool.
What's up, Clay? What's up, play and play?

Speaker 1 Cool. Cool, and I'm playing.
Cool. We got the same lingo, though.
Yeah. So we thought it'd be a good icebreaker.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so there was a moment in time when we were in Arizona, like all hungover being like, Max is going to hang out with Dallas Goddard before the Super Bowl. Day before, man.

Speaker 1 Should have been down on the strip.

Speaker 5 Is your friend Dallas also named after a shitty football team?

Speaker 1 Dude. Yeah, he is, but his parents don't like him.
His aunt did. Oh.

Speaker 1 So his aunt and uncle were such big Cowboys fans that they convinced their brother or sister, whatever one it was, to name him Dallas. You know, tough.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 So is your, was your dad kind of pissed that you got drafted by the Eagles?

Speaker 1 Um, you know, he probably definitely would have rather had me go to the Cowboys, but uh, you know, at that case, you kind of just got to bear your losses. They ain't won in so many years.

Speaker 1 At this point,

Speaker 1 at this point, you might as well jump bandwagons. Yes.

Speaker 1 You know, now he came to a good one. So I got a weird question.
I don't think we've done a million interviews, and I was thinking about it.

Speaker 1 You got drafted by the Eagles the year after they won the Super Bowl. So like three, four months.

Speaker 1 What's it like going into a locker room where everyone has a Super Bowl ring and you're like the new guy? That's got to be pretty intimidating, right? Really?

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'd say intimidating, but it's like there's like a level of inclusion that they had that it's like, man, we're in OTAs. Like I'm new.
It's everybody on the team.

Speaker 1 Last year's team flies in. They go to the ring ceremony, but you're just kind of left out of it.
You know, like, damn, you didn't win a ring.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you're doing stuff and they're talking, we got to do what we did last year. I'm like, last year I was in cause.
I don't know what that is. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So it's just like they had their own thing going. And, you know, after a couple years, so many people come and go that you lose that team.

Speaker 1 But the first year, it was just like, you know, it was the people that won the Super Bowl and the people that came in and did it.

Speaker 1 Did you think at any moment like they might mix it up and you'd get a ring? Because I would definitely be thinking that, like, they just put me on a list and I somehow get a ring. Man,

Speaker 1 I knew I probably wasn't getting that, but I definitely thought we were going to go back and win it the next year and the next year. And I thought I'd have a lot of them by now.

Speaker 1 But here we are sitting with nine.

Speaker 5 Did Chris Long's corner of the locker room, did it still smell like marijuana after that?

Speaker 1 Oh, non-stop. Yeah, that corner stays there.
You know, they know who to put into that corner.

Speaker 1 It's got great filtration up above, so they definitely put the right people over there so it doesn't stink up the whole building, just that part. But yeah, no, Chris, he's a legend, man.

Speaker 1 He's a good dude. Yeah, he's a great dude.

Speaker 5 Do you want to talk about the Super Bowl now, or we can talk about it later?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're good. I think I'm almost over it.
You know, like, I moved on.

Speaker 1 It's this next year. They wouldn't let me.
Almost over it? It doesn't sound like you're over it.

Speaker 5 How slippery was that turf? How much are we blaming the sod father?

Speaker 1 Man, the sod father did not do good, but he knew what he was doing.

Speaker 1 Yep. You know, all I can say is it was a great game till the end.

Speaker 1 You know, if the field was better, if we were playing on turf, you know, I take us 10 out of 10, but I have to say that. Yeah.
Yeah. No, the turf sucked.
It did. It was.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of people slipping. You know, you can't make that up, but we played on the same one.

Speaker 1 You know, I just, I hope we get back and can play on good turf next year. Yeah.
Yeah. Because, I mean, your guys' season was incredible.

Speaker 1 Was there a moment during the season where you're like, this is a special team? Like, this is different.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, the start, I think there's a lot of people even in the media who are like, they're not that good. They haven't played anybody.

Speaker 1 Was there a moment where you're like, no, we're really, really fucking good? Yeah, it was probably

Speaker 1 the second week of the year when we played Minnesota

Speaker 1 and just kind of handled them. Our defense played lights out.
Our offense played well. And then we just kept rolling from there.

Speaker 1 You know, really, when we got A.J. Brown in the offseason, I kind of thought it was going to be special then just adding another stud wide receiver to Schmitty and Jalen just to have another person.

Speaker 1 So really I just had high expectations all year, but that week two game on Monday night or Sunday night, whatever it was,

Speaker 1 I just felt like if we just stay healthy, we can go a long ways.

Speaker 5 It just occurred to me that playing in Philadelphia, you probably get a lot of Dallas sucks chance.

Speaker 1 Oh, but they're not about you. Sometimes, I don't know.
You know, they're like, it could be coming in. Like, we're not even playing Dallas and they'll throw them out there.
you know. So

Speaker 1 we do definitely got a lot of hatred, and people in Philly do love the name that it is, Dallas, and they definitely make jokes.

Speaker 1 I think I have to do a Twitter fan says about Dallas every year when we come to the Dallas games and how much they talk about how they suck. But it's a cool thing to have.

Speaker 1 You brought up A.J.

Speaker 5 Brown. Have you talked to him about the moon landing?

Speaker 1 He doesn't believe it?

Speaker 5 He doesn't believe it, yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I feel like that's a pretty common consensus lately.

Speaker 5 What do you think about the moon landing?

Speaker 1 So I don't think the live version that like people saw on TV was them on the moon. I think that was like created on Earth.

Speaker 1 But I think maybe we went to the moon before that. But like, but they didn't have the moon.
They didn't have Bluetooth and stuff. So I don't know.
Satellite. It seems a little scary.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've researched it a little bit. But they might have went.

Speaker 1 Is there a moon? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
That's a good question. Just asking questions.
Yeah, I got it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You ride a unicycle? I do.

Speaker 1 I actually just bought another one for my house in Philadelphia. I had to buy an air tank to fill up and been riding down the driveway to get my mail every day.

Speaker 1 That's a weird sight. My whole family does it.
Really?

Speaker 1 I probably got five aunts that ride it. My grandpa used to ride it and then a bunch of cousins.
My grandpa gave us all $50 if we learned to ride it.

Speaker 1 No shit. Everybody was learning that pretty early.
That's crazy.

Speaker 5 Jugglers, too?

Speaker 1 Are you you guys like that's a that's a weird family trait no uh yeah i don't know how they got into it i think somewhere where they were from they were trying to have like the genus

Speaker 1 world record book or whatever it is yeah of people riding the unicycle and they wanted to be a part of that so i just got roped into it from wait so are you good at riding the unicycle oh i'd say i'm pretty good i used to ride in like parades in small towns in south dakota i can ride like a six foot tall one i'd say i'm like you know that like little panda yeah i can't flip bowls but like you might be if I practice, I think I could do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you might be the coolest guy to ride a unicycle because, like, you, I would, like, most guys. You wouldn't be cooler if you can ride a unicycle.

Speaker 1 You're less cool with it, less cool.

Speaker 5 You're the coolest person to ever do it. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because stuff is. Like, no one's going to fuck with you because you're an NFL tight end by riding a unicycle.
You're going to be able to ride a unicycle. Right.
Like, I see a guy in a unicycle.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what's this guy's problem? Yeah. Not for you.
A lot of things. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 It puts my stress away. You know, I'm just balancing here on life.

Speaker 1 How many unicycles do you have?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I have one that's actually mine. My mom probably has, she's got three six-footers.
Well, these all came from my grandpa when he passed away. So they're all in our family now.

Speaker 1 But we probably got 20, 30 of them. Jesus.
These big wheels, little wheels. Do you do tricks or anything?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can do like a little bunny hop.

Speaker 1 I've been working on going backwards. That's a lot tougher.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 You know, spin in circles and ride them. I think that is the trick.
A unicycle is the trick.

Speaker 5 Is there a clause in your contract about, like, hey, maybe tone it down on the unicycling?

Speaker 1 No, dude, I think they're pretty safe. It's like, you know,

Speaker 1 it's like a bike.

Speaker 1 Well, no, a bike has two wheels. It's half a bike.
It's half a bike. No, they're pretty safe, I think.
I think. Only a few hits.

Speaker 1 By definition, not a bike. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you're right. By unicycle craigs.

Speaker 5 All right. So as far as the Dakotas go, why do you guys need two of them?

Speaker 1 Well, hmm.

Speaker 1 Because there's like a better Dakota and a less good good dakota so north dakota is kind of like where people go that aren't cool and like south dakota is the cool dakota okay um really it's just like canada didn't want them so like we'll just give them north dakota yeah but there's a lot of unicyclers in south dakota that kind of it's actually started it actually my grandpa and my family's from north dakota so i'm a first generation south dakotan okay so i was cool enough to move yeah move downstairs it's like the oregon trail except you guys are just on unicycles peddling south Taking forever.

Speaker 1 You still got the dirt roads. Yeah.
What was it like going to a smaller college? Like, especially now that you're in the NFL, are people, do they ask you questions all the time?

Speaker 1 Like, what was, because all these guys, Ohio State, you know, all the Alabama, all these big schools, you went to South Dakota. Yeah, it was unreal.

Speaker 1 Once I... got into like my junior and my senior year, it was like the easiest football ever played.
I know we played Indiana State once and their nickel was 5'6, 123 pounds. First play of the game.

Speaker 1 I run a hitch, he catches, tackles me, and I fall down on him. They bring the stretcher out.
He goes off in the ambulance. I see some people after the game.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hey, man, like thinking about your guy, like prayers, let him know I'm thinking about him. And he's like, oh, yeah, he's right over there.
He was in street clothes.

Speaker 1 He's like, he just didn't want to play anymore. You're too big.

Speaker 1 So, you know,

Speaker 1 I played a lot of competition that definitely wasn't as good as the NFL. You know, most of the safeties were probably like 5'2 guys.
So running down the seam was really easy.

Speaker 1 It was a lot of fun, though. You know,

Speaker 1 it was kind of like I was just playing football in high school still. So

Speaker 1 it all works out.

Speaker 5 Was that like a learning curve getting to the NFL? And you're like, oh, wow, these guys are, some of them are just as strong as I am.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was definitely a learning curve.

Speaker 1 Really, the blocking aspect wasn't that bad. I'm just kind of a strong farm kid.

Speaker 1 But like when it came to running routes, like I said, I was going against safeties that were way slower than me, couldn't move.

Speaker 1 So it took me a little bit of time to develop the art of route running running in the NFL where safeties are faster than you, linebackers are faster than you.

Speaker 1 So it took a little bit of time to get that aspect of the game. But once that came, it all kind of slowed down.
Did you get recruited anywhere else besides South Dakota? No.

Speaker 1 Well, I had a bunch of like D2 offers, some basketball, some football. But I walked on to South Dakota State.
It was

Speaker 1 like the biggest place I could have played. So I decided to give it a try.

Speaker 1 And at what point during your college career did you know that you could, you're like, people are like, hey, you're an NFL guy.

Speaker 1 You know, for me, it was in high school. Like, coaches recruited me.
They were D2 coaches saying I could go to the NFL.

Speaker 1 They were probably filling me full of smoke saying that, you know, their program would get me there.

Speaker 1 But it was probably.

Speaker 1 you know, early on in my first year there that I, you know, I was Googling Brent Selick's name, checking his 40 time, doing that kind of stuff. And I felt like I correlated.

Speaker 1 And we had a good tight end at the time. Cam Jones, who he hurt his back his senior year, but he was going to go to mini camps and have a good shot to go on the team.

Speaker 1 And from the time I got there, I thought I was just as good and could be better than him. So early on, I thought I had a good shot.

Speaker 1 It was just hoping the coaches would give me an opportunity to show what I thought I could do. Yeah.

Speaker 5 We were talking to Lane Johnson right before the Super Bowl about Nick Siriani and what type of coach he is, because we only see what's in front of the camera, what's presented to us.

Speaker 5 And he sometimes comes across a little bit corny on the outside.

Speaker 5 What is the team perception of Nick in terms of his motivational stuff? Planting seeds, planting flowers,

Speaker 5 showing up wearing Rocky t-shirts, trying to embrace himself to the city of Philadelphia.

Speaker 5 What's the view on Nick from inside the locker room?

Speaker 1 Yeah, initially when he got there, it was right when Ted Lasso dropped, and I was watching that, and I thought they went together great.

Speaker 1 You know, it's all about connecting, you know, love your teammate. It's all about whatever.

Speaker 1 You know, he's a little bit corny. He tells us his stuff, but

Speaker 1 when we were two and five and he's like, the roots are going underneath. Eventually you see a flower.
And after he had that statement, I think we went on like a 6-0 run or something like that.

Speaker 1 So he's a little bit corny. His stories, you know, you might have heard him before, but he does a good job explaining them.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 it keeps us talking about him. You know, afterwards, you know, we all go to each other and we'll talk to Lane.
That story was. dumber than heck.

Speaker 1 But it's like, next time, five meetings later, he'll show us a picture of, you know, whatever it is, a loofah or something. We're like, oh, yeah, details.
You know what's up.

Speaker 1 But no, he's a great coach.

Speaker 1 He does a good job of, you know, keeping everything exciting and keeping us close and, you know, connecting, competing, you know, all the things that he says we really embody in our locker room.

Speaker 1 And I feel like that's why we've had the success. So this year, you guys are so great.
And the play that,

Speaker 1 did they get rid of the spear play?

Speaker 5 made it so it's not you can do it you can still do it i think jerry jones tried to be yeah he tried to

Speaker 1 the quarterback's knee yeah yeah yeah. The quarterback's knee.
So when you would line up for that, could you tell on the other side of the ball, like those guys knew they had no shot?

Speaker 1 It was like 100% success. Yeah, I think we didn't get it once on third down and went for it and got it on fourth down.
But I mean, as you guys have probably heard on TV, Jalen squats like 600 pounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, yeah, every time he's going to get it.
And then it doesn't help that, you know, now we can push the old Reggie Bush rule that he got in trouble for, you know, it's just legal.

Speaker 1 So you get Jalen plus two or three other guys behind him. It's It's tough not to get a game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, would anyone, would any of the defensive linemen or linebackers be like this bullshit, like saying like

Speaker 1 call us like pussies and like you're soft, like run a real play? I'm like, I need it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, don't get us to third and one.
Don't get us to fourth and one. Stop using it.

Speaker 5 You could honestly, you could run that play every down.

Speaker 1 I think we could go up and down the field. Yeah.
I think Jalen would break more than you would think and probably drop a safety and take it.

Speaker 5 No, but even, I think you get like three and a half yards every time you did it.

Speaker 1 Minimal.

Speaker 1 If the other team even knew it was coming you could just they could line higher drive yeah i think we could i think we could get close that's so funny that they would say that too because you you know that they watched it in practice that week and they still can't stop it yeah i i don't know how you do stop it you know our old line interior like the worst part about it is they work on it you know what i mean they work on kelsey going low the other one's going a little bit higher than kelsey if kelsey can take out one guy's legs you know we got two or three yards and i mean unless someone goes troy palomalo and jumps over over the top.

Speaker 1 But even so, then you have Jalen Hurts, who, like you said, who squats 600 pounds and keep pushing forward

Speaker 1 for sure. That's the part.
You can't do it. I'm glad they didn't take it out.

Speaker 1 It was definitely beneficial for us. I think they should just move it back.
You know, you can't do it inside the five-yard line. You know, we need to get some passing touchdowns.

Speaker 1 I think Jalen had like 15 one-yard quarterback sneaks. Would have looked good in my stats.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it could have helped out my fantasy owners.

Speaker 1 I don't get any points for pushing them in. That's sad.
Yeah. So do you have a message for your fantasy owners?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like you're right on that that cusp where everyone has Dallas on his team, on their team. And then there's some times where, you know, weeks where it might not, might not help.

Speaker 1 Do you have any message for them?

Speaker 1 Man, man, that's tough. Because you do have to do that.
The worst part is I play fantasy, and I pick myself, and every week I plan on having a big week.

Speaker 1 But, you know, the worst part is this year we led in so many games that we'd be in the second half of games.

Speaker 1 And if you didn't have your catches in the first half, we only ran the ball in the second half.

Speaker 5 So, you know, it's tough.

Speaker 1 You know, it's not really always on me, my fantasy owners.

Speaker 1 It's really on the team. You know, we just

Speaker 1 need to not be winning by so much so we can throw and catch up and air raid offense, not run the ball. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Have your defense give up more touchdowns in the first half.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, maybe don't draft the Eagles' defense because they killed it this year. You know, maybe try to get a, maybe let, I want them to be good too.
It's hard.

Speaker 1 You actually did, your stats are pretty consistent. It's just the touchdowns.
The touchdowns. I pushed Jalen in too much.
Right, you know, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 This next year, though, we've been talking, and he doesn't want rushing touchdowns. He's good.
He broke the quarterback rush touchdown per year, whatever.

Speaker 1 So now he's ready to start throwing them.

Speaker 5 You should get credit if you physically carry him into the end zone.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. If I'm pushing like 3-3, he doesn't need those six.

Speaker 1 He doesn't need all six. He gets plenty.

Speaker 5 Do you feel a little bit out of place in the locker room not having gone to the University of Georgia?

Speaker 1 Man,

Speaker 1 more and more. That in Alabama, we got a lot of them folks.

Speaker 1 You know, they call us the Eagle Dogs now. Um, so definitely a little bit, but I've tried to fit in with those guys, and uh, they're a fun group.

Speaker 1 So, you know, I claim like Georgia is my school that I would have went to if I could have. If they recruited, if I could have went to.

Speaker 5 So, if Georgia had offered you, would you have said yes?

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. If anybody offered me, I probably would have said yes.
Definitely, yes.

Speaker 5 When did you get a full ride?

Speaker 1 Uh, I got like a half scholarship at the end of my

Speaker 1 sophomore year. So, a year and a a half, I was on scholarship.

Speaker 5 Do you still have student loans?

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, I was lucky enough that Mr. Lurry paid me enough that I was able to pay those loans.
You make enough money to pay that off.

Speaker 5 That's got to be sick.

Speaker 1 It was a nice thing to write a check. It was kind of upsetting that it was that big, though.

Speaker 5 Did they do like a ceremony for you when the coach was like, okay, you're coming on full-time? Or was it a bad thing?

Speaker 1 No, it was pretty low-key. I think it was to the point,

Speaker 1 like at this point, I was already two-time first-team all-conference.

Speaker 1 So I think it was like, we should just put this guy. We're not going to make a big deal out of it because everybody probably assumes he's already on scholarship.

Speaker 1 And they'll kind of look like the weirdos that didn't want to put me on scholarship.

Speaker 1 Yes. How good at basketball were you?

Speaker 1 I mean, in South Dakota, I did score 1,000 points in high school, but that is also...

Speaker 1 I mean, I wasn't playing the best competition week in and week out. And, you know, in South Dakota, I was the tallest, the biggest, the most athletic.
So I had that advantage.

Speaker 1 But, you know, just like pretty much any other competitive NFL player that has any skills with, you know, hard work and dedication to basketball, I probably could have been in that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you ever get to hang out with Mike Tom? Mike Dom. He's my dude.
Dude, Mike Dom was the best. He's a dog.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you guys went to the tournament a couple times. Yep.
I think he took him all four years. He just signed another contract in whatever country he's playing in now.
So shout out Mike Dom.

Speaker 1 We lived right next to him.

Speaker 1 He was college. He was He was the man.

Speaker 1 He was the man.

Speaker 1 He ran South Dakota State for sure. I believe it.

Speaker 5 Were you actually, did you actually work on a farm?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was some of my first jobs growing up.

Speaker 1 You know, I did bales,

Speaker 1 fed cows, drove four-wheelers around and moved them from pasture to pasture, all that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah.
Your country?

Speaker 5 I would call you big country?

Speaker 1 Dude, no.

Speaker 1 I think it's because we're from the little country. You know, like big country's got to be like Texas or something.
Like everything's bigger. Like South Dakota is just

Speaker 1 little country. It does get forgotten a lot.

Speaker 5 It's the bougie Dakota, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the bougie Dakota. Bougie.
Bougie country. Has anyone from South Dakota ever won a Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Adam Vinatari. Okay.
And

Speaker 1 a couple. Jim Langer.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Sack with the Dolphins in the day.

Speaker 1 Other than that, probably not too many. Nate Gary.
Okay. Yeah.
Legend.

Speaker 5 What do you think about Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 My South Dakota, to get tourists there, everybody should go see it at least once but like three minutes in

Speaker 1 you've seen it all you've seen it all like usually like you walk up to it and before you get to the viewing station you're like are you guys good should we head back and see go see the rest of the state in five minutes you go up there you're like wait is there another one is there like somewhere else i should look like the only thing is like you see national treasure and like the big pond in the back like yeah i wish that was there to like make it a little bit cooler, but I don't think it is.

Speaker 5 You should actually, you should bury some of your treasure. Dude,

Speaker 1 now we're talking. Yeah.

Speaker 5 People flocked to South Dakota.

Speaker 1 Dude, make a little like a map. Yeah.
Give it to someone in like 50 years. Like I probably forgot about it at that time.

Speaker 1 Did you have to go like every year for school trips?

Speaker 1 Not for school trips, but I've probably been like seven times. We actually went as a football team.
We went out to Rapid City to have a few practices for our fans out there.

Speaker 1 Nobody came. It was miserable that day.
But we got to stay in like an Army barracks and got to see Mount Rushmore. So

Speaker 1 nobody was that excited. Yeah, seven times too many.
You know, it was cool when I was like six years old and my grandpa and grandma took us on an RV trip out there. Yeah.
And that was fire.

Speaker 1 You know, the perfect age to do it. But the older you get, the less cool it gets.
Pretty much South Dakota.

Speaker 5 Do you have a football coach that like tried to teach you a life lesson from Mount Rushmore?

Speaker 1 Gosh, I don't know if we did have a lesson with it. I don't know if there is a lesson to it.

Speaker 1 Teddy Rose. I could kind of tell you all the presidents on it.
Yeah. I could name three for sure.
Okay, name three.

Speaker 1 George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt, just because you said it. There's another one.
There's another one on there. Ben Franklin.

Speaker 5 Alexander Hamilton. Maybe.

Speaker 1 He's on $100 bill. He's not even a president.
Yeah. You got it.
Smart. Yeah.
Universal.

Speaker 5 Thomas Jefferson. It is Thomas Jefferson.

Speaker 1 It might be Thomas TJ. Thomas TJ's up there.

Speaker 5 Overrated, though.

Speaker 1 We drove 1,700 miles of old Highway 61, the whole country top to bottom, just to prove one thing. Comfort food can make anywhere home.

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Speaker 1 The road trip might be over, but dinner's just getting good.

Speaker 1 So we are at tight end you.

Speaker 1 What are you hoping to learn?

Speaker 1 Man,

Speaker 1 really, I'm just coming here to

Speaker 1 meet these guys

Speaker 1 and then I'm just going to pick their brains. You know, everything Travis says,

Speaker 1 you know, for myself, I want to get one of those thousand-yard seasons. So I'm just going to pick his brain, see what he sees, ask him about it, and see how it can take that next step.

Speaker 1 Well, we actually saw his presentation, and it was just a slideshow saying, have Patrick Mahomes be your quarterback.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I can't go over there. You know, Jalen Hurts does a good job.
No, Jalen Hurts does. I'm just going to tell him to throw it to me a little bit more.
That's probably it. I need to be his best friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you think Jalen Hurts doesn't get enough respect for being because people will do top five quarterback lists? I don't know how he's not in the top five right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, a lot of those lists are just people are trying to get likes or whatever. Okay, be careful.
Be careful.

Speaker 1 Be careful.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is not worse. What I'm saying is that we're describing our job.
We have a job to do. We're impartial.

Speaker 1 We don't call it. I think Jalen has to be at the top.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You know, and if you don't, you're just trying to use his name.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it. I'm not

Speaker 1 the making of the list. I'm from Philadelphia.
He's number one. Right, right.
The making of the lists is a really honest profession. And the impact of the power.

Speaker 1 You can say he's got good talent around him.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 he's a dog. He's really good.
I think he should be top three, top two.

Speaker 1 You know, it's hard to to take anything away from Patrick. And you go down that list, and,

Speaker 1 you know, there's probably 10 quarterbacks that could be in the top five. Depends on what fan base you are.
But personally speaking, Jalen's in the top two. Yeah.
And he's not two.

Speaker 5 Yeah, depending on what fan base we want to antagonize. And that's the person that we would leave off.
For sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, exactly. For sure.
Okay. No hard feelings.
Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Last thing for the Eagles fans watching, can you just give us a Dallas Sucks? Yeah, you know, to all the Eagles fans, go birds and Dallas sucks. There we go.
Would you say that

Speaker 5 losing to Washington on Monday Night Football, that really spurned you guys to be great this year?

Speaker 1 That was actually,

Speaker 1 dude, my last play in that game, I fumbled and broke my shoulder. Oh, so it was like a hard five.

Speaker 1 Not a face. You know, it's a Washington.

Speaker 5 Not a face mask.

Speaker 1 Not a face mask. They didn't call it, so it doesn't really count.

Speaker 1 You know, nobody, if a tree falls and nobody hears it, doesn't make a sound, can't be a face mask if it wasn't called. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 For sure. I'm Sorry, but that game rocked.

Speaker 1 No, dude, it was good. You know, it was sick to like, you know, we were 8-0, maybe 9-0 at the time, and to like be the one that lost the game.
Yeah. And then sit out the next five weeks.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, all right. So last, last, last question.

Speaker 1 Before the Super Bowl,

Speaker 1 if would you or any of your teammates ever drink champagne before the Super Bowl? Like the night before?

Speaker 1 Oh, for sure. Some people would.

Speaker 1 But no, no, like no one who's actually playing on the team. Like, you guys have a job to do.
Like, as in celebrating? Yeah, right. As in celebrating, no.
No, no.

Speaker 1 And anyone who did celebrate before the Super Bowl, like, they shouldn't be allowed to be Eagles fans. That's not true.
Oh, the fans? The fans? Yeah. Like, if you drink champagne.

Speaker 1 If I was a fan, champagne's a little weird before. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Drink beers before and like you're ready. Beer's fine.
Yeah, yeah. But champagne

Speaker 1 before the Super Bowl. You know, those fans are probably why we didn't win.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I hope there's no one in here. No, like if you win.
I don't really believe it.

Speaker 5 If you went out, you drank champagne and then you threw up.

Speaker 1 We were planning on having two days.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and you lost your phone the night before now. No, Super Bowl, that's it.

Speaker 1 I was just, I was, I just had pregame jitters. I had pregame jitters.
We were at a party. They were bringing champagne around.

Speaker 1 I was like, sure, I'll dabble

Speaker 1 in a little bit of the bubbly. It's fine.
And then a lot of pictures were taken. It turned into a whole thing.
I got

Speaker 1 a little bit more intoxicated, overserved, some may say, later in the night.

Speaker 1 Bad guy. Bad guy.
Bad guy.

Speaker 5 Bad, bad guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's the one to blame. So

Speaker 5 him and the Sod Father. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Sod Father. Sod Father.
Sod Father. Shod Father.

Speaker 1 It was so bad he had to retire. Yeah, exactly.
Or something like that. Maybe he was going to retire.
Hell yeah. Yeah.
All right. Thank you so much, Dallas.
Appreciate it, man. Yes.
Thank you guys.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up the show. We're doing Guys on Chicks.
Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 5 Amigas, como está.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 1 Guys on chicks.

Speaker 5 Damn, there's a story. Oh, Hank's reading.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Memes always

Speaker 5 paragraphs. Objin.

Speaker 1 My friend has... These are also

Speaker 1 checked. Uh-oh.
Unprompted. Plug Hank back in.

Speaker 1 My friend has been talking to a 23-year-old. Hank, by the way,

Speaker 1 we did a meet and greet today, and guys kept on coming up to him being like, Hey, where have you been so far? Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 He listed like every golf course in the greater Chicagoland area. At one point, I said, Hank, just list the ones you haven't been.

Speaker 5 It is the summer of Hank.

Speaker 1 It was, it was that one guy, you used you're like, Monday, I played here, Sunday, I played here, Saturday, here, Friday. Here, it was impressive.
You just named all weekends, basically.

Speaker 1 Monday, Monday.

Speaker 1 Whatever. I told you guys before.
Yeah, you told us you're not working this time.

Speaker 1 You can do this.

Speaker 1 We've been grinding all day. My friend has been talking to a 23-year-old married man for one year, and he is now getting separated.
My friend is seriously dating him

Speaker 1 and thinks that she loves him and wants to be with him to see if it works out. This guy is a scumbag loser.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 5 That was a question. That was a question.
Just know that when you get with him, that's how you got with him. Right.
So he might stray elsewhere for his next girlfriend.

Speaker 1 And also, 23-year-old married man probably means he married his high school sweetheart. Probably means he was like, I need to see what's out there in the world, and it's you.

Speaker 1 And then he's going to do the exact same thing to you.

Speaker 5 I need to see what's now. In her defense, if you meet a 23-year-old guy, you probably don't immediately think this guy's married.
But she knows. But she knows.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Bad form.
Hey, bad form by that girl. Also, getting getting married, that young weird move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and bad form by everyone. Cheating on your wife.

Speaker 1 Could have just stayed boyfriend, girlfriend, and just cheated on her and then broke her heart that way. No, that would have sucked too.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's up, big cat PFT Hank, Billy Max, and that guy who lied about his hole-in-one?

Speaker 1 Yep. My boyfriend and I have been having the typical arguments throughout our relationship that you'd expect.
Where to spend the holidays, who does what chores, who plays music in the car, etc.

Speaker 1 There's, however, one argument which we have not been able to settle: that he always wins.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend feels that when we go to the movies, he should get to pick what movie we see because I don't know actors' names very well.

Speaker 1 I will confess that I often mix up characters and get lost in the plot, but he insists that girls don't appreciate good movies like guys do.

Speaker 1 I said this is bullshit and that I want to see the new Barbie, but he said it'll be a cold day in hell before we see Barbie over Oppenheimer. How do I get control over movie selection?

Speaker 5 I think they're going to be a lot of couples

Speaker 5 that go to the theater and they go to different movies. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You also just have to.

Speaker 1 This guy needs to just suck it up. I understand what he's saying, but I actually am the person who never recognizes actors and is that shitty person to watch a movie with.

Speaker 1 But you have to suck it up and know that

Speaker 1 he's got to go see Barbie and then you go see Oppenheimer together. Like, why not go to two movies?

Speaker 1 I remember I had to go see Pitch Perfect 3 or something. I actually enjoyed it.

Speaker 5 You know what the worst is? I'm terrible at going to see a movie and then remembering the characters' names throughout the movie.

Speaker 5 It'll be over and then I'll be like, yeah, remember when that guy with brown hair said this to the girl with the red hair, and then everybody else knows who their names are in the movie.

Speaker 5 I, that part does not register with me. I'm, I'm sitting there listening to them say each other's names for an hour and a half, can't remember the second I walk out of the theater.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you know what movie Rock that I saw mixed reviews about? Air.

Speaker 1 What was the mixed reviews? I saw some people be like, it wasn't that good. It was fantastic.
Don't say Stephen Che.

Speaker 5 Fantastic. I heard some dicey reviews, too.

Speaker 5 Hank was talking about big game about air, and I thought, oh, that's because it's got Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in it.

Speaker 1 That's any movie they're in. I was just, I think it's an absolute delight.
I loved it. I was laughing my ass off.
I think that's also, people

Speaker 1 struggle watching movies that they know are real life, and they're like, we know what happens.

Speaker 1 Just go and enjoy it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Newsflash, at the end of Oppenheimer, we win World War II. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Titanic, it sinks. Yep.
Okay. Barbie.

Speaker 5 Barbie. Marga Roby's hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ryan Gosling hot.

Speaker 1 And then they try to give him

Speaker 1 They try to. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. Ryan Gosling is hot.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's so hot. He's dreamy.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend listens to your podcast whenever we're in the car. How do I get him to talk to me?

Speaker 1 No. Yeah, that's.
He wants to see the music. The car time is not for talking.

Speaker 5 Car time is for listening.

Speaker 1 Also, I'm a big believer.

Speaker 1 I disagree, actually. What? I like talking in cars.
Yeah, you do. It's annoying.

Speaker 5 Hank will get on the phone.

Speaker 1 Hank, will

Speaker 1 we? I think we're going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 When is Hank supposed to to make a boss for March Madden? Hank talked to me like four hours straight.

Speaker 5 When is he supposed to make business calls in the car on the golf course?

Speaker 1 On the way to the golf course.

Speaker 1 Talking in the car, I'm a big believer. If you're going, if it's a road trip or it's maybe a 30-minute trip where you're going to see other people, sure, talk.

Speaker 1 If you're going in the car to go out to dinner, save that conversation.

Speaker 5 You don't want to waste it. Your A-material.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't be going through all the stuff and then you get to dinner and you're like, so what do we talk about? So be smarter than that.

Speaker 5 But then if it's a really long road trip, like eight hours, you have to have some music.

Speaker 1 I would love to talk about that. Yeah, he would talk the whole time.
And he goes like this. Okay.
No, that's Max. That's Max.

Speaker 1 He goes, now that I've got you here for the next four and a half hours, I got some questions. We get a lot done.
We do get a lot done, but I want to kill myself the entire time. That's so funny.

Speaker 5 Maybe my favorite videos that I see are when girls post videos, like selfie videos of themselves in a car while their boyfriend is listening to part of my taste.

Speaker 5 And they're just staring at the phone, listening to us talk about God knows what, rolling their eyes. Like, I can't believe I'm with a guy that finds this entertaining.
Yes. I love those videos.

Speaker 5 Those downloads count the same, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you know those women secretly got the hots for us. Yeah.

Speaker 5 They definitely. Hey, if you're doing it right now, sup.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sup. What's up? How you doing? Because

Speaker 1 I know what you're talking about. That woman, basically, every time her boyfriend puts it on,

Speaker 1 these guys again. Yeah.
I don't want to listen to them.

Speaker 5 Well, guess what? Guess what, babe? Dump that zero.

Speaker 1 get with a hero yeah come on you can be a part of my take groupie we should sign up for like a listserv hard on my take

Speaker 1 would y'all speaking of that no just kidding take strike that from the right okay no go ahead no that was a bad joke no good segue hank bad joke speaking

Speaker 1 about just a joke

Speaker 1 I don't even, I shouldn't even read this. No, you have to.

Speaker 5 No, you got to. Would y'all ever consider doing a kid-friendly episode?

Speaker 1 Thanks for your consideration.

Speaker 1 What? I think we've tried.

Speaker 5 What do you mean? It just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 We said said heart of my take and I said speak. Oh, like a PG episode? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We could.

Speaker 5 I don't know what we talk about.

Speaker 1 So, no. The answer is no.
Probably not.

Speaker 1 We should do it. You know what we should do? We should do a Nickelodeon episode.
Or a Burman.

Speaker 5 A Burman, like one week, like a kid-friendly Berman.

Speaker 1 No, but you know what? I like the idea of all these... kids being molded by us.
Or a kids.

Speaker 5 What if we do a kids bop version of part of my take? take?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That would be sick. Have just kids read our lines of dialogue that we've already said in an episode back to each other.

Speaker 1 Let's do numbers.

Speaker 5 69.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Billy's not here.

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 5 17, I guess.

Speaker 1 26.

Speaker 1 Jake and Max, you guys can say a number. 18.
Max? 20.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 what do we got, Max?

Speaker 1 He's pretty ninety,

Speaker 1 ninety,

Speaker 1 ninety. All right, okay,

Speaker 1 take East Friday. Everyone, enjoy.
Love you guys. I'm talking away.

Speaker 1 No, I don't know what I'm to say. I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a mother day to find you shy.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of the grave. Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I wanna say it's about me, stumble it away.

Speaker 1 Still I learn that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Dream only

Speaker 1 stays in the lifelong, just a flavoring way.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 And you're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 When you're shy and away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I'll

Speaker 1 make

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 earth.

Speaker 1 Drink only

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Drink on me. I'll

Speaker 1 make

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 drink on earth.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Drink only

Speaker 1 me.