Eagles TE Dallas Goedert, Mt Rushmore Of Triangles, MLB All Star Game + Guys On Chicks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a great show for the people. We're talking MLB All-Star Game.
We're talking Home Run Derby. We got Hot Seat, Cool Throne, a great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles.
one of those interviews I'm going to tell AWL

and I'm not saying this just because takeies are on friday but one of those interviews we sat down we didn't really know a lot about dallas goddard we stood up after and we're like that guy fucking rules we want to be friends with him uh we have mount rushmore of triangles of actually hilarious mount rushmore because our minds wandered. And then we have guys on chicks to wrap it all up.
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Okay, let's go.

Boys!

Boys!

Now in the street there is violence. We'll be right back.
All on the sun, oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we're taking it higher Welcome to Pardon My Take Today is Wednesday, July 12th And PFT, we're back, baby. The NL is back.
We've won the all-star game, the most important game in the entire summer. It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys.
The NL is back on top. You know what's kind of sick to think about is somehow baseball does have the most competitive all-star game.
When you look across every sport, they all suck. They all suck.
This happened to be an especially shitty game because I think, like everybody else in America, I was rooting for a tie. I was rooting for the dingers off for extra innings where it was going to be three players, three swings each from each team, and whoever got the most dingers was going to win the all-star game.
That's what I wanted to see.

That's what everyone wanted to see.

At least the long,

as you said,

the long national league nightmare is over in America. It's been nine games.

We were in a nine game losing streak,

which is bizarre.

It's like so insane to think that in an all-star game between the two leagues

that one team could dominate like the AL has.

Yeah.

But somehow it happened and they lost twice tonight too, because a shout out to the Mariners fans who took a stand for America and took a stand for righteousness, and they booed the Astros players coming into this game. Thank you, Seattle.
Good sports town. Hank's not here, so I can say it, and he won't bleep it out.
He won't delete it because he's usually a coward. Seattle, good sports town.
Yes, yes. And it was.
You know, know listen all the al fanboys are going to be like oh it doesn't matter it's just it's just an all-star game no no it matters the nl's back on top one and oh in the last one it's called the mid-summer classic for a reason okay it's actually the mlb cup yeah you can't get better yeah every player actually wins a free roster spot on the houston rockets so it's a pretty big deal it's a pretty big deal but yeah it was a boring game other than the the start was awesome when it was just like awesome catches awesome catches uh that wasn't a great start for me i bet on the over in the first inning and so to have two warning track catches at the wall like that i i you know what at least at I knew, okay, I can get up and go to the kitchen, make my dinner because this bet's done. And I'll say this, and this is going on a little bit of a tangent because no one has brought this up recently, but we're at the point of the summer where it's like, I just really want football to be back.
And I find myself missing college football. I love NFL, but college football I miss the most because of the chaotic energy.
Like that is the chaotic energy sport because you have guys messing up and making mistakes that just leads to craziness. MLB, they're so fucking good.
Every time that ball got hit in the outfield and the sun was like right on the edge and you're like, they should absolutely miss this catch. And then they it's a real big bummer i want to see more errors i want to see more you know chaotic energy so they're just too good the pros are too good the turns out the all-star game the baseball players playing the all-star game are pretty good at baseball they should they should just have two outfielders two outfielders and metal bats at least metal bats in the home run derby actually you know what the one thing that the all-star game is really good for and the home run derby is uh the people

that like to change rules the mike greenberg dumb rules this is the best time of year for that i know

during the home run derby you had a really good rule about just about the guys the kids that are

out in the outfield yes yeah so the kids in the outfield we saw one of them get just absolutely

smoked by a vladdy line drive um and it made me think, I was thinking about it before, but like when someone gets hit with a ball, I want to laugh. Right.
I want to laugh. It's funny.
I want to see injuries. They're funny.
They're funny to watch. Person falling on face, guy getting hit in the balls, all funny things to me.
Maybe someone getting hit in the stomach, puking. Guy who walks down the stairs after yelling at the umpire and shatters both his patella tendons.
Funny. I watched it a hundred times.
But I have a heart, and as a father of three, I do not like to see kids get hurt. So I'm watching the Home Run Derby.
I'm like, you know what? I'd rather if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat, like college

20 to 30 year old kids, guys drunk as hell, fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their

face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff.

Cause then we can laugh as a country.

We can laugh at them.

They brought it on themselves at that point.

That'd be very funny to watch.

I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids they could then elect to compete in the home run derby to win their freedom to win their way out if they if they win the home run derby they get to come back for the rest of the year and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year if they don't win they're suspended for the rest of the year okay i love that love that idea. Let me just throw a little addition to it.
They can compete in the home run derby or the night of the home run derby. They can compete in a winner takes all match where we have like a big ring and a bunch of live ferocious animals try to attack them.
And if they survive that, then they get the freedom. fine too you can do gladiator style yeah you basically made gladiator for steroid abusers i like that a lot but how electric would that be it's like okay you got caught if you admit if you if you you can't say like somebody put something in in my workout supplement you can't pull a julian edelman on this you can't like deny like oh i went to gnc bought something off the shelf i thought it was safe you have to be like yeah hand up i was using steroids because i love dingers and if you love dingers that much why don't you get on the field and hit a whole pack of dingers for everybody i i love the idea would you be open to saying too that if you win your freedom you also win the freedom to continue to do steroids the rest of the year no that's why i said yeah yeah you get to yes that's part of the thing yes where if you win you get to stay juiced for the rest of the year also we can incorporate kind of your rule and just put every player from the 2000 what was it the 2019 uh astros put them in the outfield and they're blindfolded yes yes they have a glove they can protect themselves but but they're blindfolded they're blindfolded with um the big rubber ducks that make huge noises you see it like target on their feet so you can you can you the players can be like yeah they're squeaking around they're looking like idiots that can't really run and they're blindfolded um there was a great moment in the home run derby switch hitter.
We had a switch hitter that went from both sides of the plate. And he should have just hit right-handed the whole time.
He was awesome from the right side. And, okay, so a lot of people were saying, isn't this a touching moment? We get this maybe once every couple of years.
His dad was throwing BP to him, which is great. It's a great moment.
But do you think that there's a small part of his dad that goes home and at the end of the day, you still have to look yourself in the mirror and know that you got shelled by your son tonight? Oh, definitely. And if you don't pitch well, too, that's actually the worst thing.
But it would be funny if we had a wife in the eye and you're like, yeah, okay, we did a great thing for his son. But also, I know you think less of me as a man because i gave up so many dingers tonight i we need like chris bryant's dad who would probably try to strike him out the entire time yeah um the yeah the home run derby i think we say this every year they screwed it up they've screwed it up they i know what it used to be with the 10 ounce it took forever because guys were just taking pitches but yet again we have a home run derby where we just it's it's essentially a stamina competition of who can hit you know the fastest home runs and it has nothing to do with the long ball and being able to just ooh and ah a Sammy Sosa just hitting moon shots I want that back so I don't know what they have to do Maybe it's just 10 outs and you can only take like three pitches the entire time.
But I just, it just isn't as fun. I know that Julio Rodriguez breaking the record.
That was cool, but you don't get to see any of them land. I want to see, I want to see balls go 500 feet and I want to watch them and I want to watch someone try to catch them.
And then the guy steps back and he's like, all right, here comes another, boom and here comes another and not this boom boom boom boom rapid fire yeah each home run it felt like it meant more because we're all we all got to take all of it in now it's you see a ball go out they show you the exit velocity and they show you the speed at which it leaves the bat and then you have to do the math in your own head and be like yeah that was probably a dinger nice dinger that i didn't even get to they've turned they've turned the home run derby into math right right and obviously these are all uh mid-july problems we're talking about and also we should say that vladdy jr he got fucked going into the final round because he's a big boy he took big boy daddy hacks and he was exhausted by the time the semifinals were over then he had to bat again right like one right after the other and he still won that was that was a a shocker to me and most people that were watching but um yeah they need to find a way to to uh take incorporate some of the old part and maybe you can put like a time limit if you make it i don't know like six minutes per player um but you have to like let every home run land so they're not taking all the pitches. I want to see every ball land.
You can't take your next cut until the first one lands. Yeah, exactly.
We're in complete agreement in that. Yeah, Vladi, wild moment, Jake, seeing all the pictures of Vladi and Vladi Jr.
They both won, what was it, 16 years apart they won home run derbies something like that yeah crazy really wild i mean that's jake your your heart must have been fluttering because it's it's it's baseball it's the most romantic sport it's midsummer classic it's a home run derby father son you you probably were creaming your dockers pretty close it's hard not to get romantic about baseball who was it after the the derby was over there they were talking about vlad jr and they said like isn't this a great story you were born in cuba when you come to america and you win the home run derby he's like wait i'm pretty sure he was born in canada he was born in canada he was born in canada and i don't think that no i'll have to look it up j can you fact check me on this I don't think that Vladimir Guerrero is Cuban no I'm pretty sure he was raised in Dominican yeah Dominican Republic right yeah I'm 90% sure but yeah they really screwed that one up um also it was great that we got to see that hard O Pete Alonzo lose because I I to say it, I know Mets fans get a reputation for being a little toxic. We might know a couple of them in our lives, and they do seem to complain more than any other fan base, probably rightfully so, because bad things happen to them.
It would drive me nuts if my best player took the home run derby as seriously as Pete Alonzo does. And then it would drive me insane.

Yeah.

If you win,

then if you're winning wins,

you can still,

you can still be like,

yeah,

that's right.

We got the best home run hitter in major league baseball.

It's provable.

You can at least like pretend to celebrate that.

But when he,

when he doesn't win,

it's just like,

what are,

what are we doing,

Pete?

Where are we doing,

man?

Yeah.

Also of note,

Christian Yelich,

that coward did not compete in the home run derby. Don't do that.
Don that what he's a coward no no no christian yelich our good friend uh wisely took the home run derby off because he wants to focus on the second half and he should do that for the rest of his career he's a coward he's not yeah that's what he's going to do he's he's i think he's afraid of how much he's going to love watching me and you tongue punch each other's fart boxes. He's going to have to watch.
You know that, right? Like if if he ends up winning the home run derby, he's going to have to click on to whatever video we put out of me and you licking each other's buttholes. Yes, absolutely.
We also should note the all star jerseys were terrible. I don't know what they were doing they looked so so bad uh it feels like it you shouldn't you shouldn't be like it should be

easy to not mess this up and i also wouldn't hate it if they i don't know if they you i feel like

i remember that they used to but did they ever do it where it was just roads and and home like

you wore your uniform your great emblem on it yeah i think for a while it was like that

Thank you. but did they ever do it where it was just roads and home like you wore your uniform your great emblem on it yeah i think for a while it was like that yeah i love that i know that they used to let them wear their own hats i pft i think it's also just baseball in general that is is ripe for us just changing rules it's it's the most the the rules feel they they change for the better pitch clock has been awesome only billy doesn't like it because he he wants to get drunk and uh there's been a lot of good rule changes but go back to some of the old school maybe we're just getting nostalgic but go back to some of the like the 90s all-star home run derby stuff yeah so the nba gets all their rule changes from reddit to to a fault the mlb gets all the rule changes from truth social there's got to be some like halfway meet in the middle where just common sense can prevail and try to help out rob manford they should have made the bases even bigger for the all-star game that would have been that would have been great just giant bases hit the button make the bases bigger um okay so uh reminder we with the rest of our show we're actually back together so hot seat cool throne and guys on chicks and dallas goddard and mount rushmore we're all in the same room um but reminder friday takeies over 20 different awards blake of the year podcast listener of the year it was a fantastic show it's one of my favorite shows every year a lot of pressure a lot of pressure hope everyone's doing their job subscribing and unsubscribing sharing it going up to a random phone subscribing listening to it playing the youtube on loop all these things matter i would like you want to people out there to go to a public library and go to every computer and click subscribe on part of my take and start playing the YouTube and just have it do the playlist and have it play.
Apple store, every screen in the Apple store. Yes.
Yes. Someone do that for us.
And maybe, maybe you will win your eight straight award-winning listener awards. Okay, let's kick it back to ourselves.
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Yeah, you're up first. Surprising.
Wow, never thought you'd go first. My hot seat is America.
Okay. Why? My good friends over in Thailand came out at Burger King Thailand called the Real Cheeseburger.
It's just 20 slices of cheese in between a bun. Yeah, it rocks.
It rocks. And this is bad timing foriamson who's who's just been talking about how hard he's trying to maintain weight that's going to be an issue for him i'm gonna have one yeah well you gotta go well no there are some places over here in america i know that there's an international mcdonald's here in chicago there's definitely an international burger king somewhere yeah i mean it looks delicious so it's just a grilled cheese with 20 pieces of cheese but does the cheese grill i don't know dude grilled cheese is i think top top meals that you can randomly crave yeah you guys ever have that where it's like there's it's not something you eat very often but it's like every i don't know month or two months i say to myself i really want grilled cheese.
I also think that a grilled cheese is one of those things that it's better the less effort that you put into it. Yeah.
You can make a gourmet grilled cheese with some of the best cheese in the world. But for my money, if you just take like two slices of Wonder Bread and some Kraft singles, that's perfect.
And a shitload of butter. Shitload of butter.
Shitload of butter. Get that nice crispiness.
Some people put mayonnaise on both sides, which sounds gross, but as a male boy, I approve. And it works.
It actually gives you a nice crisp on either side. That reminds me, one time Papa John's RIP Papa, what's he up to these days? We got to track him down.
He's running for government. He's running for government.
He is good for government, just in general. He's going to be government.
Yeah. But one time Papa John's had a special.
Congress. Yeah.
Where they had, if your football team scored a certain number of touchdowns, you got a free topping for every touchdown they scored. And one, this is back in like 2013, the Redskins scored, I don't know, like 50 points out of nowhere.
And so I ordered a Papa John's pizza that had 11 extra cheeses on it. And that reminded me a lot of it.
It was just piled was maybe the best pizza ever it was like deep dish yeah yeah it's fantastic so cheese is back cheese is

back america's in the hot seat uh and then the cool throne i'm gonna put myself in the cool throne

we started a home run league dingers only fantasy baseball league uh tj producer who of that show

told me that vlad grow jr was a bad pick

because he doesn't have a good home run swing he won the home run derby and i think since we've

already established that we can kind of change rules and reformat things that i should be

retroactively awarded points considering i vote no dingers only league the whole point of the league

is to pick players that hit dingers so the home run derby should be the world series so you

Thank you. It's a dingers-only league.
The whole point of the league is to pick players that hit dingers. So the home run derby should be the World Series.
So you think that he should have 25 points because he hit that many home runs? No, the real thing is... If we're a dingers-only league, we should be awarding the best dinger hitter in the league.
And whoever's team he's on, that's the person who should get extra points. No, what we need to do, we need to stay one ahead of nba and adam silver next year we'll have an in-season tournament that will be played on the home run derby the dingers cup yeah the dingers cup you pick a player on the dingers on a home run derby and that becomes the dingers cup i think we should vote on what i mean it's just okay all right yeah put up three of us in this room.
Who thinks Hank should get a lot of points for a meaningless competition that wasn't part of the reason? It's a ringer's only, and my guy hit the most dingers.

Hank doesn't even vote for himself.

Okay.

All those against?

All right.

Oh, Hank's hands up.

No.

Sorry, Hank.

You voted against yourself.

It's a dingers-only league, I think, in the spirit of competition.

I think all the AWLs would agree with me.

In the spirit of competition...

You're gaslighting us.

It's dingers-only, and I think, in the spirit of competition. I think all the AWLs would agree with me.
In the spirit of competition.

You're gaslighting us.

It's dingers-only, and I had the player that hit the home run derby.

You know what?

We'll let you have Vlad's home run derby total.

You can't golf for the rest of the summer.

Well, then I'd win the league.

Probably, yeah.

Yeah.

You wouldn't – are you serious right now?

I don't want to fucking do the punishment.

I mean, I think you have a good use to pitch.

True.

You're lefty.

I just feel like I should be awarded for it.

And I know that if either of you two were in the same position, you would.

Actually, I wouldn't.

Just the same way you retroactively change the rules.

You would re-retroactively change the rules for yourself.

I'm going to die. I won't count any of Ryan Mountcastle's home run derby swings.

Yeah.

Whatever.

It's dingers only, I thought, in the spirit of the league.

Dingers, we should be awarding the greatest dinger hitter in the league,

Vlad Garo Jr.

How about this?

If the guy on your team makes the postseason, those dingers count.

No, let's just keep going with dingers only.

Not home run dingers from the home run derby that doesn't what are you talking about a dinger is a dinger if you said i agree i shouldn't be every home run he hit but since he won the oh you want one i'll give you one i think like five or ten no no you can get one home run 10 bonus points it seems like a fair fair we already voted disagree uh you're just doing this because there's some people who are like do home run dingers count oh you know what it was it was it was tom tom fredelli oh yeah yeah he was like he asked do home run dingers count that's your i i was telling tom's taking no yeah yeah you are my dms the past three weeks have been flooded with exclusively people saying that's weird because because the show came out last week. Dingers only and.
You haven't been on your phone. Dingers only and Big Cat tried to rob me in Dungeons and Dragons.
How? I mean, there's been so many. How did I try to rob you? Like three days ago.
They just said that I got the most kills by a by a wide margin but i killed you but you i already should have you should have already been dead no but i killed you so how could you have the most kills when i killed the guy if you had the most kills i killed you because if you had followed the rules correctly then wait tim woods is the one who judges the rules are you questioning tim woods this is also it goes against the spirit of dungeons and dragons 100 exactly This also, you guys not giving me points for winning the Home Run Derby, goes against the Dingers Only League. Yes, the league is Dingers Only, and you're not crediting the Home Run Derby.
So just so that we can recap. This is pathetic.
You want Home Runs to count in a made-up tournament that doesn't have anything to do with the actual league to count, and you also think Tim Woods is an idiot. Fiction, fiction.
I think that if you, the person on your team in the Dingers Only League, wins the home run derby, you should get extra points. Okay.
How about a pizza party? Yeah. We'll give you a pizza party.
Done. Dingers Only Pizza Party.
Done. Fine.
Yeah. You won the Dingers Cup.
Good job. Hank won the first ever Dingers Cup.
Ten points. Yeah.
Dingers Cup. Pizza Party.
Good job. Great job, Hank.
In season. That wasn't pathetic at all.
Yeah, that wasn't. I mean, it's Dinger's only, right? He won a participation trophy.
Yeah. It's Dinger's only.
He won the home run derby of Dinger's. Okay, good job.
Good job, Hank. You won the cup.
You won the in-season cup. Okay, PFT, your hot seat, Cool Throne.
My hot seat is Chief Saholic. Yeah yeah chiefsaholic got arrested the law caught up to him and he was uh he was putting cuffs and some more details came out about chiefsaholic's crime spree apparently it wasn't just him robbing one bank in oklahoma apparently this dude went around the country kind of as we suspected to every like road chiefs game robbing banks he had an ironclad foolproof method of laundering his money, which was he would take his cash to a casino, exchange it for chips, play one hand of blackjack, and then turn his chips back in.
They put all that together. So he's busted by the feds big time.
Probably going to go to prison for a while. Wait, are you saying he wasn't a criminal mastermind? I'm saying, what I am saying about Chiefssaholic is don't we have bigger fish to fry than chiefsaholic don't we as a nation nobody went to jail for the financial crisis back in 2007 2008 all those bankers are still out there chiefsaholic is basically a modern day robin hood stole from the banks gave to himself and we're we're castigating him for it we're throwing him in jail maybe for the rest of his life it feels messed up yes also he should have just he should have left the country yeah what is billy gonna do now nothing that was billy's only job yeah keep chiefsaholic on the run yeah or find him uh my other hot seat is novelty drinks because margaritaville in times square closed it shut its doors doors.
It was a great place. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.
They had at least upwards of one working elevator at any given time. How many times did you go? I went once.
Do you think you're somewhat to blame? For leaving? For moving to Chicago? Probably, yeah. No, no.
Just for not like you should have been going every weekend. Well, I tried to go twice, but the first time I went- It's a vacation destination.
They closed it down for the summer. You don't take vacations on the show.
It wasn't open in the summer. And then it was only open in November, which is when I went.
Surprisingly, not a lot of people go to Margaritaville in November and December in Times Square in New York City. I never saw this failing.
This is brutal. I tried my very best to make it work.
It didn't work out. There was a small part of me that was like, oh, shit, they saw that PFT is moving to chicago who's going to come to our resort and they're like we better close this thing down but i i didn't see a way that was going to fail and it failed which is very very sad i'm going to miss i'm going to miss that margaritaville should be too big to fail it should it should be subsidized by the government yeah i'm going to miss it but i will find there are other margaritavilles out there which i will be going going to.
Yes. Then my cool throne is I was going to say Zion Williamson.
I mentioned earlier he talked about how he has something to blame for his weight gain and his issues. She's getting paid a lot of money when he's 24 or 22 years old, having all the money in the world.
And it's tough to not eat. I understand if you gave me that much money when I was 22, I would also get fat as fuck.

But my other cool throne is going to be the USA because USA beat Canada in the CONCACAF Gold Cup.

Finals.

No, no, that was the quarterfinals.

Oh.

So we moved on.

We beat the dastardly Canadians in a penalty kick shootout, and it was awesome.

The shootout was fun as fuck.

It started out with maybe the most dramatic scene I've ever seen in professional soccer. Both the teams were lined up waiting to start kicking, and the ref was like, no, you guys got to back up to midfield.
The USA said, fuck you, I'm not leaving. Canada, you move first, then we'll move.
So it was a standoff, just both teams waiting for each other. After about like two minutes of both teams not moving, Canada started to backpedal first.

And then the USA was like, that's right, bitch.

We told you to move.

They backed up.

Matt Turner stepped in.

Goalkeeper for Arsenal, which is why they're so good.

Why they won the Champions League last year.

And so he started backing up.

Or the rest of the team started backing up.

We go on to win.

Dominate Canada again tonight.

We're playing Panama in the semifinals.

Easy dub.

So up yours, Panama.

Are we going to put out our best team?

Give us the canal back.

Probably not.

Probably not.

I think they're still taking a break.

Hank pretends that he doesn't like soccer.

I think deep down inside, you would like rooting for America, Hank.

I'm just looking for a really good Champions League team.

That's not what you're looking for.

We've talked about this.

Burnley?

Champions League is like the top teams they play in the tournament.

You're looking for. We've talked about this.
Burnley? Champions League is like the top teams they play in the tournament. You're looking for a really good championship league team.
What the fuck is the difference? There's like the EPL? Championship champion team? No, Champions League is the highest of high. You're looking for a second tier team in England.
Yes. that's not champions league shit yeah that's okay champions league is like the top of every european league right got it league it is a little confusing so there's champions league and championship league the english premier league and then i'm pretty sure the second league is called the english championship league yep so that is confusing i would agree with you the Champions League is like teams from all over Europe.
I need to really... I've just been thinking about I want to get into soccer.
I really want to find a good Championship League team. I need to double check to make sure I was right about this because it is...
You know what I love about international soccer though? I actually don't give a fuck. It gives you every excuse to just be like, fuck you, we're from America.
It's the English League Championship is the second league.

Quite confusing.

I would agree.

And then I think it just goes like League Two and then like, oh, no.

What's La Liga?

No, no, no.

That's Spain.

It's even more confusing.

It goes EPL.

I know that one.

Then it goes English League Championship.

Then it goes English League One. That's the third one.
That's the third one. That is tricky.
Where does the Liga rank in those four? The Liga is Spain. The Liga is not in what we're talking about.
Yeah. I don't know what that means.
I just hear people say it. That's where Messi used to play.
The Farmers League? Yeah, the Farmers League. Farmers only.
All right. My hot seat is Darren Revell so Pat Fitzgerald got fired from Northwestern I was a little shocked I thought he'd survive it but it seems like more came out seemed like it was a situation that uh was bigger than than one thing uh and then Darren Revell went 24 hours uh silence on twitter finally broke his silence after about 27 hours and just wrote sad period darkness retreat for old darren yeah he was he was probably doing some mental gymnastics listen darren it happens to the best of us you all get got sometime you have to take it like a man you have to issue a statement i know a lot of people online were waiting what does dar revel have to say about this does he have a comment is he going to take the side of his coach is he going to take the side of his university yeah he tried very hard he's got a lot of pat fitzgerald merch probably he got a uh espn headline changed so there was a moment if you follow the whole thing uh he got it there was a espn headline that said pat fitzald knew, and he got very upset, was like, there's no evidence that he knew, and then they changed it.
He probably thought that he had staved off everyone at that point. Then he got fired.
I imagined in my head he is the woman at the inauguration of Trump who falls to her knees and yells no when he got fired. He'd known him for 27 years.
His very good friend. What happens if they get a coach that doesn't like Darren Revell? He never hazed Darren Revell.
Yeah. Darren definitely needed some hazing.
Yeah. The internet was broken down trying to figure out whether or not hazing was a good or bad thing.
It was a banner day for people who were like, I got hazed. I turned out fine.
Usually when you say I turned out fine about anything, it means that you did not turn out fine yep it means when you say like i got i got hazed and i turned out just fine except i'm a person that goes online to defend hazing yeah besides that that's like andrew tate usually has one of those a month where he's like my dad hit me when i was a kid look how i turned out i'm great i i am technically in a romanian prison right now but nothing bad happened to me. I think one thing, great point.
Anyone who says I turned out i'm great i i am technically in a romanian prison right now but nothing bad happened to me uh i think one thing great point anyone who says i turned out fine there you are not about anything anything it could be like xyz happened to me when i was a kid i turned out fine yeah i smoked my my father made me smoke cigarettes when i was five years old look how i turned out yeah i'm great i'm totally totally fine i'm totally great i'm not mad at all i'm totally fine about it i think one thing we can all agree on though is a great choice for the next northwestern head coach would be urban meyer oh let's get urban back in the conversation not afraid to get his hands dirty the guy is a molder of young men and let's just get urban back into the big 10 yeah and say what you will like you know hazing not okay urban Urban Meyer will just do it himself by kicking kickers. Yeah, exactly.
He'll be the head hazer. Yeah.
He knew all along. Yeah.
The naked bear crawl doesn't sound like hazing. That part just sounds like guys being dudes.
Yeah. The rest of it, yeah, you can make some arguments for it.
Yeah, but it was- I did a naked bear crawl when I was a kid. I turned out fine.
It turned out fine. It was definitely a situation though that uh when you're when you're watching Ravel just go silent I don't actually care what he has to say I just know that if it was any other school he would be the first to talk about it complete hypocrite uh and coward and then all he said was sad also knowing him knowing the you know the infamous Super Bowl video where he like has all his tweets crafted and planned before the all-star home run derby night is a huge night for those random stupid tweets that he probably had to he probably had to like wash at least 10 to 15 tweets yeah about random home run derby related factoids because he had to stay silent yeah the length of all the home runs added together could like could go across the country that sort of shit yes yeah it's a big night for him you're right he went radio silent that was sad to see yeah he probably had some really cool old pictures of vlad jr you know and it just it was just it was very funny i was just watching it i was on i was on ravelle watch and he just had uh a picture of the parking at in seattle for the Home Run Derby as his last tweet from like 1 p.m.
on Monday. That was it.
That's so sad. It was so perfect.
We didn't get any concession stand prices for Ravel. No concession stand.
It was a disservice that I did to his followers. Do you think he's more sad that Pat Fitzgerald got fired because he knows him and he had an in and he considered him a friend, or because I know for a fact he owns over three pieces of pat for sherald member yeah probably that one yeah it's probably not i own i own nine dreadlocks that got cut off of northwestern players yeah before they were deemed acceptable to join the team i owed three bars of soap that were used in the human loofah now what am i supposed to do with this a shrek mask what am i gonna do yeah yeah that's Yeah.
Yeah, that's definitely what he's thinking right now. He probably has like Pat Fitzgerald's Social Security card from when he was like a kid.
I do. I think that we should hire their strength and conditioning guy, though.
Yeah. That guy rocks.
He's the man. And then my cool throne is all of us being intelligent people because I had a moment.
I was reading an article the other day that I was like, you you know what I'm hard on myself for being the shit for brains but no one's as dumb as the guy who got caught in the college baseball betting scandal I don't know if you guys saw this but the report finally came out exactly what happened I'm going to read this to you real quick uh on April 28th Bert Eugene Neff Jr. walked into the BetMGM sportsbook at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati in possession of a large amount of cash, looking to make a huge score.
His proposed wager quickly aroused concern and suspicion among the staff. Three people familiar with the investigation told Sports Illustrated that Neff wanted to bet more than $100,000 on a college baseball game that night, Alabama at No.
1 LSU. the game had gotten virtually no gambling traffic and neff's desire to bet on the tigers far exceeded the sportsbook established house limit on college baseball it was foolhardy act that created a surreal scene and the ripple effects from that incident continued to be felt more than a month later so here's exactly what happened uh neff an obscure youth league coach from Mooresville, Indiana, with a penchant for networking and recruiting circles, stood at the window and pleaded his case for making the huge wager to the book's staff, the sources say.
He indicated, this is to the staff, he indicated that he had inside information on the game and he did it in the palm of his hand neff was texting with alabama baseball coach brad bohannon via the encrypted messaging app signal while at the the ticket window attempting to place the wager the sources say his texting was so indiscreet to the point that the book's video surveillance cameras were able to zoom in on the details of neff and Bohannon's text exchange, making Bohannon's name visible later in screenshots. Video cameras could see the text conversation back and forth.
It couldn't have been more reckless. It was, I don't know how you could be dumber than that.
He walked up to the window, had $100,000 on a game that has no one betting on it, saying, I have inside information, then went, stood back, texted the coach so brazenly that they were able to just be like dude you're you're literally texting the coach right in front of them that's partially on the coach for giving that tip to maybe his biggest shithead friend yes he knew that this is a guy that could not be trusted with information if you know this kind of guy at all you know that he would do something like this you gotta just be like be cool man but like we'll tell it to your friend who's cool it was it was a great reminder like hey i'm dumb i'm not that dumb no paul pelosi doesn't go up to nasdaq and he's like i've got a great tip on semiconductors let me put my trade in come on this trade needs to go in i'm look i'm on the phone my wife right now she's demanding that i log this this option i need to put it in right now please backdate this for to yesterday yeah right now yeah sir but yeah made me feel good also cool thrown uh zuck is pretty jacked yes yeah he's got like an eight pack although if i was that rich i i'd either be fat as shit like zion or i'd be jacked as hell like mark zuckerberg no in between i would just do the drugs to get jacked to shit and just still eat yeah yeah right exactly just eat and just take drugs and have someone i do you think that someone could get rich enough like do you think the very richest people in the world have people just work out their body form i've always wondered if just somebody that comes by with the electric stimulator yeah just hits you just basically pushes your your arms as you bench press just move me move Move me around. Do all the motions for me.
Knock me out and have me lift. That's a good idea for the next home workout device is just a big suit that you strap yourself into and it just moves you around.
So you don't have to think about doing it. You just sit in the suit for 30 minutes.
You get to work at it. It's the old Babe Ruth machine when he would just stand in there and it would just jiggle him around uh the towel on two sticks that just moves yeah yeah nobody does that one anymore i'm sure it worked why not or or just laying down and having someone throw a medicine ball at your stomach yeah i think that's how harry houdini died no he got punched no i know yeah you got punched in his stomach yeah r.i.p.
r.i.p. to a great one double h okay let's get to's get to our Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore triangles. And then we have a great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles.
He was, I would say, our MVP from TEU because we interviewed him and we basically said that guy fucking rocks. We love him.
So it's a must listen. Before we do that, PFT, you had a quick word from one of our sponsors.

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Yeah, contentious. PFT and I are first, then Billy and Jake, then Hank and Max.
We're going to go hard in the paint to start the first one. Shark fin.
Boom. Shark fin.
Shark fin. The scariest thing you see above the water, the shark fin.
The last thing you see before you get fucked. Maybe the most dangerous triangle out there.
You guys ever done the Jaws ride at Universal? No. You see the fin? Ooh, scary.
Scary shark fin.

Scary shark fin.

Shark fin, number one triangle.

Yeah.

Good pick.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

That's as close as we'll get to just having them blow us.

It's great when there actually is a good pick,

and we all have to begrudgingly be like, good pick.

Because you know it takes a lot.

Yeah.

All right, we're going to go with something that everyone in the world has had

and everyone in the world likes, a slice of pizza.

Ooh.

That's a good pick.

That's a good pick, Jake.

Fuck.

This draft is awesome.

I studied.

We studied.

We came ready.

Good pick.

Max?

Max?

Oh, it's us.

That was going to be our pick.

That's a good pick, Jake.

Hank doesn't want to say he's been wanting to do this for a very long time.

We will go with a tortilla chip. Ooh.
Good pick. Good pick.
It's a good pick. And then we will go with, this might be contentious, the pyramids.
Ooh. That's not a triangle.
Not a triangle. You mean like a pyramid? Hank, they're literally called pyramids.
They're called a different shape. It's a three-dimensional object.
We have this on our list, but Billy shot it down because it's three-dimensional. It's a pyramid.
But it's triangular. I feel like that's...
No. Is a pyramid a triangle? It has more than three sides.
I guess a triangle has three sides. Yeah.
That has more than three sides. A pyramid...
If you're looking at it from the front, you're seeing three sides. Okay, from the front? What's the front of a triangle? Or what's the front of a pyramid? Wherever they put the fucking king.
Inside. They put it inside the pyramid.
So the pyramids of Giza? Or just the pyramids? He's talking about Giza, yeah. Is it allowed? I think it's triangular shape.
Maybe just say a silhouette of a pyramid. I don't have a problem with it playing.
Okay, here's the thing.

They're literally built by aliens.

Iconic.

I vote to allow Hank's bullshit pick,

but just know people are going to come at you for it.

So what do you want, the pyramids of geezer or just the pyramids?

He's taking the pyramids.

Okay.

All right, Billy.

I think the one you came up with right here.

Yep.

Yep.

Go ahead.

Wait, did you guys pick twice? Yeah, it took Torchita shit. Yeah, that's right.
Yep. A beer pong rack.
Why were you just taking a picture of me? I'm sending it to someone. For what? Where can you meet right now? I said no.
I'm recording. Who asked? Stephen Che.
Oh. Did you redo that? What'd you do? No, that's fine.
A rack beer pong ball.

A rack of beer pong cups. Okay, that's good.

Fuck off.

Beer pong rack.

Tell him the fuck off.

A beer pong rack.

Are you talking about the full rack six?

Are you talking about ten rack?

Either way, they're triangular.

Yeah, but I want to know specifically.

Well, I mean, like 21 cup.

I want to know what Billy's thought of a beer pong rack is.

I mean, I like to play 21 cup.

Okay. Okay, sick.
I like to play 22 cup. Isn't that called man pong? Yeah, for men.
Dude, you ever do the full table? That ruled. You Civil War? Yeah.
Billy, when was the last time you played beer pong? No, literally the full entire table is beer pong. So not triangular? No.
100 cup? You can rack a couple times, but the entire table is full's full 100 cups pretty cool yeah it's basically dudes just being like we don't have any plans for the afternoon so let's just here's our plan let's do a six hour activity where we get hammered this will be awesome and then and it is yeah until you get into a fight yeah with your best friend uh okay good pick thank you good picks all around. Yeah, pretty good pick.

Except pyramids.

Big Cat PFT with the wraparound.

Okay, PFT.

Pyramids are the most iconic thing ever built.

They're one of the seven wonders in the world.

And you're disparaging it. I'm not denying that.

I'm just saying, are they triangles?

Yes.

Okay.

You're the geometry expert.

They're made up of triangles.

How many geometry classes have you taken?

All right.

Well, a piece of pizza is not a triangle, but slices.

There's three sides.

Yeah.

We picked a slice.

Yeah.

We picked a slice of pizza.

Slice of pizza.

Okay.

Pick one side of a pyramid.

Yep.

What do you think about number 10?

Yeah.

I think we'll go eight and 10.

Okay.

All right.

I'll say eight.

You say 10.

Okay.

Eight is going to be the hurdle button in Madden. Ooh.
The hurdle button in Madden. Sick button.
What is it? That's only on PlayStation. It's PlayStation.
Yeah, PlayStation. Yeah.
Okay. No, the hurdle button.
What about on Xbox? That's why. That's why.
On PlayStation, it's triangle. Yeah.
Learn ball. So it's Y and triangle is your answer.
No, it it's Triangle. So do you want the Hurdle Button Madden on a PS4? No.
No, we can afford PS5. Just the Hurdle Button Madden.
Jake, you're making this super complex. So Hurdle Button Madden.
You're picking a Triangle and Y. Don't listen to him.
Shut up, A. That's right, sir.
People will know what the Hurdle Button Madden is madness what about a person that's only put xbox okay well then they'll figure they'll figure out what it is what about a person that's never been to egypt hank also i'm an xbox guy but i know exactly what i've played a playstation before yeah i have everyone you've never played a playstation that's a lie that is a lie cap that is an absolute fucking lie xbox you've never played a play we have a playstation in the office you never played it nope that's a lie we'll find footage wait so try so yeah i mean i guess yeah we'll find footage exactly exactly there's a triangle on the playstation oh yeah okay all right our next one that's a pick we're gonna go with the blue mountain emojis on coors light that's On a can. Look at a can of Coors Light.
It's two blue triangles. Well, it's actually.
What? It's not. It's like one, two, three, four.
That is a pander. Five.
It's actually technically not a pander. No, we're talking about the ones that turn blue, Billy.
It's not an equilateral pentagon. I will say.
There's five sides. That's a mountain range.
That's five sides. There's more than three sides.
We're talking about five. Shut up.
There's five sides That's a mountain range That's five sides There's more than three sides Shut up There's five sides There's more than three sides I'm not talking about Like the designed mountains That are like Drawn on there No no I'm talking about The one up top You idiots Dude it's That's not a triangle It's two triangles Yeah but they're overlapping Three sides But there's no cut Yeah you picked a mountain range You picked a picked a two triangles that is fucking each other way less of a triangle than a pyramid that's a try if you look at it those are two triangles two three four five sides that's two triangles next to each other well it doesn't look like that it's two overlapping triangles next to each other you know this you know why no no that Billy? That's a twin-peaked mountain. Because it's mountains.

But that's a twin-peaked mountain.

Is it the mountain are blue, or is it the mountains are blue? Right, so you're picking a five-sided mountain.

You're picking the two triangles.

That's worse than a pyramid because it's overlapping.

We let pyramids stand.

Yeah, we did.

We just said that it's bullshit.

Okay, good.

Moving on.

No, not moving on.

You know you're wrong.

No, I'm right.

It's a twin-peaked mountain.

The Coors Light Blue Mountain.

Billy, you're mad you didn't think of it. All you see when you see a Coors Light can is red.
That's it. That's all you see.
We see the whole beautiful can. Do we have two? No, we have one.
No, we got to go with something else. Why? This? No, that's boring.
That is not boring, dude. This one.
This one. No, the Bermuda Triangle.
No, that's not boring. The Bermuda Triangle.
No, that's a good one. We had that on our list.
The deadliest triangle. Yeah, we had it on our list.
Well, no, the deadliest triangle we already picked. It's the shark.
Yeah. Well, the fin doesn't really.
The fin tells you you're about to die. The fin tells you right before you're about to die buddy no no i mean i don't think anyone's died from a shark fin i bet you someone also dolphins have dorsal fins too and okay well we're not a shark i've seen a lot more dolphin dorsal fins you can take dolphin fins good pick right but we won't bring a triangle shark fin you fin, you're over.
Also, you can have shark fin soup, and it gives you boners.

Mm-hmm.

Facts.

All right.

You guys have your last two picks, Hank, Max.

Uh-oh.

I don't know what Max just gave me.

Look, this is going to tie back to the pyramids as well.

Ooh, a tie back pick.

The Illuminati side.

Oh, that's a good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick. That's a very good one.
Good pick. That's not a good one.
And then we'll go fuck, what was it? A guitar pick. Okay.
Is that a triangle? Guitar pick? Is it rounded a little? It's rounded, but listen, I'm not in the business of denigrating other people's picks. it is rounded yeah i'll count that as a triangle top all right we can take another one no no wait wait shark fins are rounded yeah what yeah they are yeah yeah that's fine it's a fine pick it's a fine pick hank it is a pick no yeah no i'm i'm allowing it it's literally a pick yeah yeah a pick it's a great pick.
The pick pick. You couldn't...
I'm a shark fin's round. Fact or fiction, you can never play guitar without a guitar pick that well.
That's actually fiction. But like...
A lot of people ever heard of Mark Knopfler? One of the greatest advancements in guitar playing was a guitar pick. Fact or fiction.
I don't know if you can call that advancement. Well, it started without one, and then they advanced it.

Yeah.

I guess so.

Yeah.

So fact.

Yeah.

I mean, Mark Knopfler is pretty good at guitar.

It doesn't use a pick.

I've heard of him.

Dire Straits, bro.

Money for Nothing.

I don't know.

That was my mom's going to college.

Saltans of Swing.

Great song.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Our final pick.

PFT's favorite.

Doritos.

Okay.

So that's a tortilla chip.

Tortilla chip.

That's a tortilla chip.

Thank you. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
All right. Our final pick.
PFT's favorite. Doritos.

Okay.

So that's a tortilla chip.

Tortilla chip.

That's a tortilla chip.

Dorito.

That's a tortilla chip.

It's a tortilla chip.

Jake, look up the ingredients of a Dorito and tell me if tortilla chip is part of it

because it is.

We had Cool Ranch Dorito.

We had Cool Ranch Dorito on our list, but we can't do it after tortilla chip.

Yeah.

Like, oh, I'm going to take a pepperoni pizza slice. Well, we didn't take cheese.
Yeah. okay, you're right.
No, you're right. You're right.
Fair. No, that was a good way to argue for yourself, Hank.
All right, Billy, we're going to go with the other one. I'm proud of you.
That's fair. That was like a high school debater right there.
You fucking dominated him. Absolutely correct.
It's not my first rodeo. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Our final pick is going to be oh oh I have an idea no no no no I'm saying this one yes we talked about it it's the I like it Billy's got an idea it's the football related one oh no it's the foot no you said two I'm saying two oh no no The office love triangle of Jim, Pam, and Roy. Oh, man.
Okay. I hated that.
I hated it so much. And that's Mount Rushmore.
Thanks, guys. I don't think the love triangle made me laugh once.
No. It's probably the cringiest part of the whole show.
Well, it's a love trying. It's a trying.

Jim, not that great of a guy.

Pam, not that great of a girl.

Can we get that extra pick?

Roy just wanted to fucking ride jet skis with his bro.

All right, so it's our last pick.

Yeah, because I think we go with...

We have number one still there.

Yeah.

I was going to say number one or number 11. Let's go with one.
Triangle offense. Triangle offense.
One titles. A lot of titles.
So many chips. Scotty.
Scotty. Triangle.
Triangle. It's a good pick.
Triangle. Yeah, it's a good pick in the fourth round, too.
Yeah. We were thinking about maybe taking it first, and we were like, no, shark fitting, bro.
That was a good Mount Rush one. That was a pretty even one.
We didn't even do any of the actual angles. We didn't do an isosceles, scalene rocks.
Well, how about this? Fuck, marry, kill, isosceles, scalene, equilateral triangle. I would kill equilateral.
Whoa. No, no, no.
I think you're right. I would kill equilateral.
I would fuck scalene, and I would marry isosceles. Yeah yeah because isosceles like it's got some shit to her yeah like kind of fun yeah but the scalene you want to fuck one time never be around no the scalene tries to peg you no the scalene triangle is the cracked iphone of of the triangle kingdom or do you fun to hang out with for one night or do you marry equilateral i think you equilateral.
No, but that would get boring after a while. I feel like the Scalene is actually like a Coors Light Blue Mountain.
Yeah. No.
The Scalene is safe, but also fun. Yeah.
Kind of looks like it. Yeah.
Another one we missed. The Eiffel Tower is just all triangles.
It's pretty cool. Yeah.
That's how they built it. The Eiffel Tower in Vegas.
Okay. Yeah.
All right. The Citgo sign.
Pyramids in Vegas. Oh, yeah.
That's good. Bass Pro Shops.
Oh, the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid. Fuck.
Oh. Fuck.
I blew that one. Wow.
Damn it. Hank, you blew it worse, though, because you picked the pyramids and not the Bass Pro Shop Pyramids.
Yeah, I picked one of the seven wonders of the world. I think it's eight.
Of the world.

Did they add one?

Well, yeah, the Bass Pro Shop.

The Library of Alexandria or whatever

is shut down.

Dude, we lost a lot.

Shut down, burned to the ground.

We lost a lot in the Library of Alexandria.

Yeah.

Slice of watermelon.

Yeah.

Summertime.

Summertime.

Yeah, nothing better.

Just the food pyramid.

No, the food pyramid sucks. It makes you feel bad you feel bad John Wooden's pyramid of success oh yeah that's a good one pyramid schemes damn the food pyramid was such bullshit they were like yeah you should just eat grains all the time it's all bread and rice and no room for candy I'm so mad we didn't do pyramid pyramid schemes.
Pyramid schemes rock. They're pretty easy to do.
If you're at the top. Yeah, right.
They kind of rule. I've always said I'd be down to get into a pyramid scheme and try to get some more people into it.
And then bank. We had a rack of billiards balls.
Okay. The flying wedge.
The band. Flying V.
Flying V and Mighty Ducks. Or just regular ducks.
But there's only two sides yeah i guess yeah there's no third side yeah paper football paper football rules shark tooth yeah shark tooth second best part of a shark when we were having that debate about shark fins and killing people i sent hank shark tooth and then he goes that's a that's a terrible pick, because that's the thing that actually kills people, is the shark tooth, which is also a triangle. Yeah, but the fin is so badass.
That's true. The fin is more iconic.
But that was more of a fighting pick of you saying that the fin is what kills people. Yeah.
I don't like getting contentious, so that's why I didn't pickago there's the viagra triangle yeah what does that mean it's just this little stretch where just old dudes just creep on younger ladies there's fantastic restaurants yeah very good restaurants i've eaten there like three times yeah it's very good restaurant italian restaurants italian fucking memes well no it's just interesting that's Hank eats at the Viagra Triangle he's trying to find an older dude what are we gonna do let him fucking play you do you've made until recently Hank's life has just been hanging out with older dudes yeah that's true you do roll with an older crew so so you might you might have daddy issues yeah maybe that's why i'm in the vt all the time um all right any others that we missed i think we nailed most of them yeah then we're gonna see that list and we're gonna feel them the protractor oh the triangle yeah that one sucks no that's like it's an honorable mention but no one's been wowed by the triangle for an instrument. It's the dude who can't play an instrument.
He goes up and plays a triangle. That's mean to Nate.
Does he play the triangle? Oh, no, he plays tambourine. Okay, good.
What's the signal for soccer VAR? Do they do a triangle? No, it's a box. They make a television with their hands.
Oh, we should do Mount Rushmore squares. Yeah.
Oh, there are a lot of good squares out there. Squares are lame.
What? I don't think they're lame. Jake Marsh.
Yeah. That's probably one of the more common pieces of criticism I get.
One, one. Nerd square.
Okay. Good Mount Rushmore, everyone.
Way to go. And now it's time for our interview with dallas goddard and it's

sponsored by body armor because we get ourselves ready with body armor when we're doing our interviews we're drinking body armor strawberry banana drink is the best drink out there the body armor water go buy it all on amazon right now this interview with dallas goddard we're drinking body armor we're getting ready that's the way to go body armor now on amazon here is philadelphia the Eagles tight end Dallas Goddard.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest it is philadelphia eagles tight end dallas goddard he is uh here with us at tight end you we told you right before you sat down we got a great story for you and i feel like it'd be a good icebreaker great one i'm looking forward looking forward to hearing it. It sounds incredible.
So you have a friend named Dallas.

I do.

Okay.

Yes.

Okay.

So when we were at the Super Bowl.

I know where this is going.

Yes.

Max right here, big Eagles fan, huge Eagles fan.

He gets through a friend of a friend, starts texting your friend Dallas.

Yep.

He thinks he's texting you the day before the Super Bowl.

Which would have been sick.

It would have been sick.

I'm actually a little upset that he gave me the wrong Dallas.

But here's the thing, your friend Dallas was texting him being like, what are you up to tonight the day before the Super Bowl he was in Arizona everything probably wound up and he thought he was like, I'm gonna party with Dallas Goddard the day before the super bowl and so you also know rory hand yeah yeah i know so he texted me and and was like he was like yo i got a friend i got a friend who's at the super bowl and i was like he might i don't even know if he said that but i he was talking about you and then i got a text and it was like yo r, Rory just gave me your number. It's Dallas.

And I was like, what?

Obviously, obviously it's got to be you.

Because he was just talking to me about you.

Like, what are the chances that you have another friend also named Dallas

that was also friends with the one mutual that I knew?

And also in Arizona.

In Arizona.

In Arizona.

In Arizona.

Yeah.

So maybe it was you.

No, I got it sent to me. And Rory actually sent it to me and being like, ha-ha, I got these guys.
You know what I mean? He was pretty stoked about it. I'm like, cool, good job.
All right, so you're an idiot, Max, but that's okay. We love you for it.
Well, then the Shane – yeah. Yeah, Shane Gillis then got involved and was texting his Max, and it was – Yeah, Shane thought that – well, Shane was pretending to be Max, texting what he thought was you try to sound a whole deep circle yeah what do you say straight chilling what are you doing cool what's up play a play a play a cool cool you know we got the same lingo though yeah so we thought it'd be good icebreaker but yeah so we there was a moment in time when we were in Arizona, like all hungover being like, Max is going to hang out with Dallas Goddard before the Super Bowl.
The day before, man. Should have been down on the strip.
Is your friend Dallas also named after a shitty football team? Dude. Yeah, he is.
But his parents don't like him. His aunt did.
Oh. So his aunt and uncle were such big Cowboys fans that they convinced their brother or sister, whatever one it was, to name him Dallas.
You know, tough. That's crazy.
So was your dad kind of pissed that you got drafted by the Eagles? You know, he probably definitely would have rather had me go to the Cowboys. But, you know, at that case, you kind of just got to bear your losses.
They ain't won in so many years. At this point, you might as well jump bandwagon.
Yes, yes. You know, now he came to a good one so i i got a weird question i i don't think we've we've done a million interviews and i was thinking about it you got drafted by the eagles the year after they won the super bowl so like three four months what's it like going into a locker room where everyone has a super bowl ring and you're like the new guy that's got to be pretty intimidating right i don't know if I'd say intimidating but it's like there's like a level of inclusion that they had that it's like man we're in OTAs like I'm new it's everybody on the team last year's team flies in they go to the ceremony but you're just kind of left out of it you know like yeah damn you didn't win a ring and it's like you're doing stuff and they're talking we got to do what we did last year I'm like last year I was in calls I don't know what that is you know what I mean uh so it's just like they had their own thing going and you know after a couple years uh so many people come and go that you lose that team but the first year it was just like you know it was the people that won the Super Bowl and the people that came in and did it yeah did you think at any moment like they might mix it up and you'd get a ring because I would definitely be thinking that like they just put me on a list and I somehow get a ring.
Man, I knew I probably wasn't getting that, but I definitely thought we were going to go back and win it the next year and the next year and thought I'd have a lot of them by now, but here we are sitting with none. Did Chris Long's corner of the locker room, did it still smell like marijuana after he left? Oh, nonstop.
Yeah, that corner stays there. They know who to put into that corner.
It's got great filtration up above so uh they definitely put the right people over there so it doesn't stink up the whole building just that part but yeah no chris he's a legend man he's he's a good dude yeah it's great dude do you want to do you want to talk about the super bowl now or we can talk about it later yeah we're good i think i'm almost over it you know like i'm moved on it's this next year you know they wouldn't let me over? It doesn't sound like you're over. How slippery was that turf? How much were we blaming the Sodfather? Man, the Sodfather did not do good.
But he knew. He knew what he was doing.
Yep. You know, all I can say is it was a great game till the end.
You know, if the field was better, if we're playing on turf, you know, I'd take us 10 out of 10. But I have to say that.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, the turf sucked. It did turf sucked it did it was there's a lot of people slipping you know you can't make that up but we played on the same one uh you know i just i hope we get back and can play on good turf next year yeah yeah because i mean your guys season was incredible was there a moment during the season where you're like this is a special team like this is different because you know the start i think there's a lot of people even in the media who are like, they're not that good, they haven't played anybody.
Was there a moment where you're like, no, we're really, really fucking good? Yeah, it was probably the second week of the year when we played Minnesota and just kind of handled them. Our defense played lights out, our offense played well, and then we just kept rolling from there.
You know, really when we got A.J. Brown in the offseason um I kind of thought it was going to be special then just adding another stud wide receiver to uh Smitty and Jalen just have another person um so really I just I had high expectations all year but that that week two game on Monday night or Sunday night whatever it was uh I just felt like if we just stay healthy uh we can go a ways.
It just occurred to me that playing in Philadelphia, you probably get a lot of Dallas sucks chants. Always.
But they're not about you. Sometimes.
I don't know. You know, they're like, it could be coming in.
We're not even playing Dallas, and they'll throw them out there, you know. So we do definitely got a lot of hatred, and people in Philly do love the name that it is Dallas, and they definitely make jokes.
I think I have to do a Twitter fan says about Dallas every year when we come to the Dallas games and how much they talk about how they suck. But it's a cool thing to have.
You brought up A.J. Brown.
Have you talked to him about the moon landing? He doesn't believe it? He doesn't believe it, yeah. I mean, I feel like that's a pretty common consensus lately.
What do you think about the moon landing? So I don't think the live version that people saw on TV was them on the moon. I think that was created on Earth.
Okay. But I think maybe we went to the moon before that.
But they didn't have the cameras set up there. They didn't have Bluetooth and stuff.
So I don't know. Satellite seems a little a little scared i don't know i've researched it a little bit but they might have went you know yeah is there a moon yeah is there yeah i don't know that's a good question just asking questions yeah yeah um you ride a unicycle i do um i actually just bought another one for my house in uh philadelphia had to buy an air tank to fill up and been riding down the driveway to get my mail every day um that's a weird site my whole family does it so really we got uh i probably got five aunts that ride it my grandpa used to ride it and then a bunch of cousins my grandpa gave us all 50 if we learned to ride it so no shit everybody was learning that pretty early that's That's crazy.
Are you guys like jugglers too? Are you guys like that's a weird family trait? No. Yeah, I don't know how they got into it.
I think somewhere where they were from, they were trying to have like the Genis World Record book or whatever it is of people riding the unicycle and they wanted to be a part of that. So I just got roped into it from there.
So are you good at ridingicycle oh i'd say i'm pretty good i used to ride in like parades and small towns in south dakota i can ride like a six foot tall one i sound like you know that like little panda yeah i can't flip bulls but like you might be if i practice i think i could do it yeah you might be the coolest guy to ride a unicycle because like you i would like most guys cooler if you can ride a unicycle no're the coolest person to ever do it yeah right yeah like no one's gonna fuck with you because you're an nfl tight end but they ride a unicycle right like i see a guy in a unicycle i'm like what's this guy's problem yeah not for you a lot of things yeah it puts my stress away you know i I'm just balancing here on life. How many unicycles do you have?

So I have one that's actually mine.

My mom probably has – she's got three six-footers.

Well, these all came from my grandpa when he passed away,

so they're all in our family now.

But we probably got 20, 30 of them.

Jesus Christ.

Big wheels, little wheels.

Do you do tricks or anything?

I can do like a little bunny hop. I've been working on going backwards.
That's a lot tougher. You know, spinning circles and ride them.
I think that is the trick. The unicycle is the trick.
Is there a clause in your contract about like, hey, maybe tone it down on the unicycling? No, dude. I think they're pretty safe.
It's like, you know. Well, if you're good at it.
It's like a bike. Well, no.
A bike has two wheels. It's half a bike, yeah.
It's half a bike. No, they're pretty safe, I think.
Only a few, like, hits everywhere. It's by definition not a bike.
Yeah, you're right. By unicycle, correct.
All right, so as far as the Dakotas go, why do you guys need two of them? Well, hmm, because there's,ota and a less good dakota so north dakota is kind of like where people go that aren't cool and like south dakota is the cool dakota okay um really just like canada didn't want them so like we'll just give them north dakota yeah yeah but there's a lot of unicyclers in south dakota that kind of it's actually started it actually my grandpa and my family's from north dakota so i'm a first generation South Dakota? That kind of takes down the coolest. It actually started – actually, my grandpa and my family's from North Dakota, so I'm a first-generation South Dakota.
Okay. I was cool enough to move down South Dakota.
It's like the Oregon Trail, except you guys are just on unicycles pedaling south. It's going to take you forever.
We still got the dirt roads. Yeah.
What was it like going to a smaller college, especially now that you're in the NFL? Are people – do they ask you questions time like what was it because all these guys you know Ohio State you know the Alabama all these big schools you went to South Dakota yeah it was unreal um once I got into like my junior and my senior year it was like the easiest football ever played I know we played uh Indiana State once and their nickel was five six pounds. First play of the game.
I run a hitch. He catches, tackles me, and I fall down on him.
They bring the stretcher out. He goes off in the ambulance.
I see some people after the game. I'm like, hey, man, thinking about your guy, prayers, let them know I'm thinking about him.
And he's like, oh, yeah, he's right over there. He was in street clothes.
He's like, he just didn't want to want to play anymore you're too big so you know I played I played a lot of competition that definitely wasn't as good as the NFL you know most of the safeties were probably like five two guys so like running down the seam was really easy uh it was a lot of fun though you know it was it was kind of like I was just playing football in high school still yeah it all worked out was that like a learning curve getting

to the NFL and you're like oh wow these guys are some of them are just as strong as I am yeah it was definitely a learning curve um really the blocking aspect wasn't that bad I'm just kind of a strong farm kid um but like when it came to running routes like I said I was going against safeties that were way slower than me couldn't move uh so it took me a little bit of time to develop like the art of route running in the NFL where safeties are faster than you. Linebackers are faster than you.
So it took a little bit of time to get that aspect of the game. But once that came, it all kind of slowed down.
Did you get recruited anywhere else besides South Dakota? No. Well, I had a bunch of like D2 offers, some basketball, some football.
But I walked on to South Dakota State. It was like the biggest place I could have played.
So I decided to give it a try. And at what point during your college career did you know that you could you're like people are like, hey, you're an NFL guy? You know, for me, it was in high school, like coaches recruited me.
They were D2 coaches saying I could go to the NFL.

They were probably filling me full of smoke, saying that, you know, their program would get me there. But it was probably, you know, early on in my first year there that I, you know, I was Googling Brent Selick's name, checking his 40 time, doing that kind of stuff.
And I felt like I correlated. And we had a good tight end at the time.
Cam Jones, who he hurt his senior year but he was going to be you know go to mini camps and have a shot to go on the team and from the time I got there I thought I was just as good and could be better than him so early on I thought I had a good shot it was just hoping the coaches would give me an opportunity to show what I thought I could do. Yeah we were talking to Lane Johnson right before the Super about Nick Sirianni and what type of coach he is because we only see what's in front of the camera, what's presented to us.
And he sometimes comes across a little bit corny on the outside. What is the team perception of Nick in terms of his motivational stuff, planting seeds, planting flowers, showing up wearing Rocky t-shirts, trying to embrace embrace himself to the city of philadelphia what is what's the view on nick from inside the locker room yeah initially when he got there it was right when ted lasso dropped and i was watching that and i thought they went together great you know it's all about uh connecting you know love your teammate it's all about whatever um you know he he's a little bit corny he tells us his stuff but you know like when he we were two and five and he's like the roots are going underneath eventually you see a flower and uh after he had that statement i think we went on like a six and oh run or something like that so uh he's a little bit of corny his stories you know you might have heard him before but he does a good job explaining them uh you know it keeps us talking about him You know, afterwards, you know, we all go to each other and we'll talk to Lane.
That story was done with him. But it's like next time, five meetings later, he'll show us a picture of, you know, whatever it is, a loofah or something.
We're like, oh, yeah, details. We know what's up.
But, no, he's a great coach. He does a good job of, you know, keeping everything exciting, connecting, competing, all the things that he says we really embody in our locker room, and I feel like that's why we've had the success.
So this year you guys are so great. And the play, did they get rid of the spear play? Or they made it so it's not good? No, you can still do it.
I think Jerry Jones tried to ban it. Yeah, he the quarterback's knee yeah the quarterback's knee so when you would line up uh for that could you tell on the other side of the ball like those guys that they knew they had no shot it was it was like a hundred percent success yeah i think uh we didn't get it once on third down and went for it and got it on fourth down but i mean as you guys have probably heard on tv jaylen squats like 600 pounds yeah uh so Yeah.
So, yeah, every time he's going to get it. And then it doesn't help that, you know, now we can push the Reggie Bush rule that he got in trouble for.
You know, it's just legal. So you get Jalen plus two or three other guys behind him.
It's tough not to get it. Yeah.
Would anyone, would any of the defensive linemen or linebackers be like this bullshit? Like saying like, oh, all the time. Call us like pussies and like, you're soft.
Like run a real play. I'm like, I need it.
You know what I mean? Don't get us to third and one. Don't get us to fourth and one.
Stop us. You could honestly, you could run that play every down.
I think we could go up and down the field. Yeah.
I think Jalen would break more than you would think and probably drop a safety and take it. No, but I think you get like three and a half yards every time you did it.
Minimal. If the other team even knew it was coming, you could just do the entire drive.
Yeah, I think we could get close. That's so funny that they would say that too because you know that they watched it in practice that week and they still can't stop it.
Yeah, I don't know how you do stop it. Our O-line interior, the worst part about it is they work on it.
You know what I mean? They work on Kelsey going low. The other one's going a little bit higher than Kelsey.
If Kelsey can take out one guy's legs, you know, we got two or three yards. And, I mean, unless someone goes Troy Palomaro and jumps over the top.
But even still, then you have Jalen Hurts who, like you said, squats 600 pounds. And keep pushing forward.
Yeah, right. For sure.
That's the part. I'm glad they didn't take it out.
You know, it was definitely a beneficial for us i think they should just move it back you know you can't do it inside the five yard line you know we need to get some passing touchdowns i think jalen had like 15 uh one yard quarterback sneaks would have looked good in my stats yeah could have helped i could have helped on my fantasy owners you know yeah so i don't get any points for pushing them in that's sad yeah so do you have a message for your fantasy owners because i feel like you're right on that cusp where everyone has dallas on his team on their team and then there's sometimes where you know weeks where it might not might not help do you have any message for them like man man that's tough um because you do the worst part is i play fantasy and i pick myself and every week i plan on having a big week but uh you know the worst part is this year we led in so many games that we'd be in the second half of games. And if you didn't have your catches in the first half, we only ran the ball in the second half.
So, you know, it's tough. You know, it's not really always on me, my fantasy owners.
It's really on the team. You know, we just we need to not be winning by so much so we can throw and catch up and uh air raid offense not run the ball yeah have your defense give up more touchdowns in the first yeah you know maybe don't draft the eagles defense because they killed it this year you know maybe try to get a maybe let i want them to be good too it's hard do you actually did your stats are pretty consistent it's just the touchdown the touchdowns i pushed jalen in too much right you know so this next year though we've been talking and uh he doesn't want rushing touchdowns he's good he broke the uh quarterback rush touchdown per year whatever um so now he's now he's ready to start throwing them well you should get credit if you if you physically carry him into the end zone that's what i'm saying if i'm pushing like three three you know he doesn't need those six yeah he doesn't six.
He gets plenty. Do you feel a little bit out of place in the locker room? Not having gone to the University of Georgia, man, more and more that in Alabama.
We got a lot of them folks. You know, they call us the Eagle Dogs now.
So definitely a little bit. But I've tried to fit in with those guys and they're a fun group.
So, you know, I claim like Georgia is my school that I would have went to if i could have if they recruited if i could have went so if george had offered you would you have said yes oh absolutely if anybody offered me i probably would have said yes when did you get a full ride uh i got like a half scholarship at the end of my sophomore year so a year and a half i was on scholarship do you still have student loans oh dude i was lucky enough that you know mr lurry paid me enough that i was able to pay you make enough money to pay that off that's that's gotta be sick it was it was a nice thing to write a check it was kind of upsetting that it was that big though yeah did they do like a ceremony for you when you you when the coach was like, okay, you're coming on full-time?

Or was it just like offseason? No, it was pretty low-key.

I think it was to the point.

Like, at this point, I was already two-time first-team all-conference.

So I think it was like, we should just put this guy.

We're not going to make a big deal out of it

because everybody probably assumes he's already on scholarship.

And they'll kind of look like the weirdos that didn't want to put me on scholarship yes how good of basketball were you um I mean in South Dakota I did score a thousand points in uh high school but that is also I mean I wasn't playing the best competition week in and week out and you know in South Dakota I was the tallest the biggest the most athletic the most athletic, so I had that advantage. But just like pretty much any other competitive NFL player that has any skills with hard work and dedication to basketball, I probably could have been in that.
Yeah. Did you ever get to hang out with Mike Dom? Mike Dom, he's my dude.
Dude, Mike Dom was the best. He's a dom.
Yeah. I love Mike Dom.
I mean, you guys went to the tournament a couple times. Yep.
I think he took them all four years. He just signed another contract in whatever country he's playing in now.
Shout out Mike Dom. We lived right next to him all throughout college.
He was awesome. He was the man.
Yeah. He was the man.
He ran South Dakota State for sure. I believe it.
Were you actually – did you actually work on a farm? Oh, yeah. That was some of my first jobs growing up.
You know, I did bales, fed cows, drove four wheels around and moved them from pasture to pasture, all that kind of stuff. Oh, yeah.
Your country. Did anybody ever call you big country? Dude, no.
I think it's because we're from a little country. Big country's got to be like Texas or something.

Everything's bigger.

South Dakota's just like little country.

It does get forgotten a lot.

It's the bougie Dakota, right?

Yeah, the bougie Dakota.

Bougie, bougie country.

Has anyone from South Dakota ever won a Super Bowl?

Adam Vinatieri.

Okay, that one counts.

Jim Langer.

Okay.

Back with the Dolphins in the day. Other than that, probably not too many.
Nate Gary. Okay.
Legend. What do you think about Mount Rushmore? My South Dakota, to get tourists there, everybody should go see it at least once.
But like three minutes in, you've seen it all. You've seen it all.
Usually like you walk up to it, and before you get to viewing station you're like well you guys good should we head back and see go see the rest of the state in five minutes you go up there you're like wait is there another one is there like somewhere else i should look like the only thing is like you've seen national treasure and like the big pond in the back like yeah i wish that was there to like make it a little bit cooler but i don't think it is you should actually you should bury some of your treasure dude that now we're talking yeah that people who flocked south dakota little make a little like uh map yeah give it to someone in like 50 years like i probably forgot about it at that time did you did you have to go like every year for school trips uh not for school trips but i've probably been like seven times we actually went as a football team. We went out to Rapid City to have a few practices for our fans out there.
Nobody came. It was miserable that day.
But we got to stay in like an Army barracks and got to see Mount Rushmore. So nobody was that excited.
Yeah, seven times is too many. You know, it was cool when I was like six years old and my grandpa and grandma took us on an RV trip out there.

That was fire.

You know, the perfect age to do it.

But the older you get, the less cool it gets.

Pretty much South Dakota.

Do you have a football coach that tried to teach you a life lesson from Mount Rushmore?

Gosh, I don't know if we did have a lesson with it.

I don't know if there is a lesson to it.

Teddy Roosevelt kind of rocks. I couldn't even tell you all the presidents on it.
I could name three for sure. George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt.
Just because you said it. There's another one.
There's another one on there. Ben Franklin? Alexander Hamilton? Maybe.
He's on the $100 bill. He's not even a president.
You got it got it. Smart.
Yeah. Thomas Jefferson.
It is Thomas Jefferson. TJ's up there.
Overrated, though. All right.
Well, this has been awesome. I have one last question.
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Promo code TAKE. So we are at Tight End U.
What are you hoping to learn? Man, really, I'm just coming here to, you know, meet these guys. And then I'm just going to pick their brains.
You know, everything Travis says, you know, for myself, I want to get one of those 1,000-yard seasons. So I'm just going to pick his brain, see what he sees, ask him about it, and, you know, see how I can take that next step.
Well, we actually saw his presentation, and it was just a slideshow saying, have Patrick Mahomes be your quarterback. Yeah, I mean, I can't go over there.
You know, Jalen Hurst does a good job. No, Jalen Hurst is a man.
I'm just going to tell him to throw it to me a little bit more.'s probably it i need to be his best friend yeah do you think jalen hurts is like doesn't get enough respect for being because people will do top five quarterback lists i don't know how he's not in the top five right now yeah um you know a lot of those lists are just people are trying to get likes or whatever okay be careful be careful what i'm What I'm saying is I think Jalen has to be at the top.

Yes. Be careful.
Be careful. Be careful.
No, what I'm saying is I think Jalen has to be at the top.

Yes.

You know, and if you don't, you're just trying to use his name.

That's what I'm saying.

You know, like.

Okay, got it.

I'm not dogging the people that don't.

The making of the list.

I'm from Philadelphia.

He's number one.

Right, right.

The making of the list is a really honest profession and that you respect.

You know, like you can say he's got good talent around him. No, he's a dog.
He's really good. I think he should be top three, top two.
It's hard to take anything away from Patrick. You go down that list and there's probably 10 quarterbacks that could be in the top five.
Depends on what fan base you are. But personally speaking, Jalen's in the top two, and he's not two.
Yeah, depending on what fan base we want to antagonize, and that's the person that we would leave off. For sure.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. For sure.
Okay. No hard feelings.
Yeah, it's okay. Last thing for the Eagles fans watching, can you just give us a Dallas Sucks? Yeah, you know, to all the Eagles fans, Birds and Dallas sucks.
There we go. Nice.
Did you say that losing to Washington on Monday Night Football, that really spurned you guys to be great this year? That was actually, dude, my last play in that game, I fumbled and broke my shoulder. Oh, yeah.
So it was like a hard fire fracture. That's a fun memory.
Not a face mask, right? Not a face mask. Not a face mask they didn't call it so it doesn't really count uh-huh you know nobody's if a tree falls and nobody hears doesn't make a sound can't be a face mask if it wasn't called yeah yeah for sure sorry but that game rocked sorry it was good you know it was sick to like you know we were eight and oh maybe nine and oh at the time and to like be the one the game.
Yeah. And then sit out the next five weeks.
Well, actually, all right, so last, last, last question. Before the Super Bowl, would you or any of your teammates ever drink champagne before the Super Bowl? Like, the night before? Oh, for sure.
Some people would. But no one who's actually playing on the team.
Like guys have a job to do like as in celebrating yeah as in celebrating no no no and anyone who did celebrate before the super bowl like they shouldn't be allowed to be eagles fans that's not sure oh the fans the fans yeah if i was a fan uh champagne's a little weird before yeah drink beers before and before and get ready for the game. Yeah, but champagne before the Super Bowl?

Those fans are probably why we didn't win.

Yeah, exactly.

I hope there's no one in here.

No.

I don't really believe it.

If you went out, you drank champagne, and then you threw up on yourself.

We were planning on having two days of champagne drinking.

Yeah, and you lost your phone the night before the Super Bowl.

That'd be bad.

I just had pregame jitters. I had pregame jitters.
We were at a party. They were bringing champagne around.
I was like, sure, I'll dabble. I'll dabble in a little bit of the bubbly.
It's fine. And then a lot of pictures were taken.
It turned into a whole thing. I got a little bit more intoxicated, over-served, some may say, later in the night.
Bad guy. Bad guy.

Bad guy.

Bad guy.

Yeah,

so he's the one to blame.

So,

him and the sod father.

Yeah.

The sod father.

Sod father.

Give it to him.

It was so bad,

he had to retire.

Yeah.

Maybe he was going to retire.

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Well,

thank you so much,

Dallas.

Appreciate it,

man.

Yes,

thank you guys.

Okay,

let's wrap up the show. We're doing guys on Chicks.
Guys on Chicks. Amigas, como esta? Let's do it.
Yeah. Guys on Chicks.
Damn. Oh, Hank's reading.
Nice. You got this, Hank.
Objen. My friend has...
These are also unchecked. Uh-oh.
Checked. Uh- oh checked unprompted plug hank back in my friend has been talking to a 23 year old hank by the way uh we did a meet and greet today and guys kept on coming up to him being like hey where have you golfed so far shut the fuck up i he listed like every golf course in the greater chicagoland area at one point i said h, just list the ones you haven't been to.
It is the summer of Hank. It was that one guy.
You're like, Monday I played here. Sunday I played here.
Saturday here. Friday here.
It was impressive. You just named all weekends, basically.
Monday. Whatever.
I told you guys before

you can do this

we've been grinding all day

my friend has been talking to a 23 year old

married man for one year and he is now getting

separated

my friend is seriously dating him

and thinks that she loves him and wants to

be with him to see if it works out

this guy is a scumbag loser

yeah that's it

no question

just know that when you get with him

I'm going to go what's out there. the world and it's you and then he's gonna do the exact same thing to you i need to see what's out now in her defense if you meet a 23 year old guy you probably don't immediately think this guy's married but she knows but she knows yeah don't do that bad form hey bad form by that girl also getting married that young weird move yeah and bad form by everyone cheating.
Also getting married, that young, weird move. Yeah, and bad form by everyone.
Cheating on your wife. Could have just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend and just cheated on her and then broke her heart that way.
No, that would have sucked too. Hey, what's up, Big Cat, PFT, Hank, Billy, Max, and that guy who lied about his hole-in-one? Yep.
My boyfriend and I have been having the typical arguments throughout our relationship that you'd expect where to spend the holidays who does what chores who plays music in the car etc there's however one argument which we have not been able to settle that he always wins my boyfriend feels that when we go to the movies that he should get to pick what movie we see because i don't know actors names very well i will confess that i often mix up characters and get lost in the plot but he insists that girls don't appreciate good movies like guys do i said this is bullshit and i want to see the new barbie but he said it'll be a cold day in hell before we see barbie over oppenheimer how do i get control over movie selection i think they're going to be a lot of couples separately that go to the theater and they go to different movies yeah you also just have to this guy needs to just suck it up i understand what he's saying but i actually am the person who never recognizes actors and is that shitty person to watch a movie with but you have to suck it up and know that he's got to he's got to go see barbie and then you go see oppenheimer together like why not go to two movies i i remember i had to go see pitch perfect three or something something. I actually enjoyed it.
You know what the worst is?

I'm terrible at going to see a movie and then remembering the characters' names throughout

the movie. It'll be over and then I'll be like

yeah, remember when that guy

with brown hair said this to the

girl with the red hair and then everybody else

knows who their names are in the movie.

That part does not register with me. I'm

sitting there listening to them say each other's names for an hour and a half.

Can't remember the second I walk out of the theater. Yeah.
You know what movie rocked that I saw mixed reviews about? Air. What was the mixed reviews? I saw some people be like, it wasn't that good.
It was fantastic. Don't say Stephen Shea.
Fantastic. I heard some dicey reviews too.
Who? Hank was talking about a big game about Air, and I thought, oh, that's because it's got Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in it. Any movie they're they're in i was just i thought it was an absolute delight i loved it i was laughing my ass off i think that's also people struggle watching movies that they know are real life and they're like we know what happens just go and enjoy it yeah newsflash at the end of oppenheimer we win world war ii yeah titanic it sinks sinks.
Yep. Okay.
Barbie. Barbie.
Margot Robbie's hot. Yeah.
Ryan Gosling hot. And then they try to give her.
Guys on chicks. They try to.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
Ryan Gosling is hot. Yeah, he's so hot.
He's dreamy. My boyfriend listens to your podcast whenever we're in the car.
How do I get him to talk to me? No. want to take away listeners talking car time is for listening also i'm a big believer i disagree actually what i like talking in cars yeah you do it's annoying hank will get on the phone hank will what were we i think i think we're going to talk for march madison hank talked to me like four hours straight.
When is he supposed to make these business calls in the car? On the golf course? On the way to the golf course. Talking in the car, I'm a big believer.
If it's a road trip or it's maybe a 30-minute trip where you're going to see other people, sure, talk. If you're going in the car to go out to dinner, save that conversation.
you don't want to waste it you're a material yeah you can't you can't be going through all the stuff and then you get to dinner and you're like so what do we talk about so be smarter than that but then if it's a really long road trip like eight hours you have to have some music love to talk about that yeah yeah he would talk the whole time and he goes like this okay no that's max that's max he goes now that i've got you here for the next four and a half hours i got some questions we get a lot done we do get a lot done but i want to kill myself the entire time that's so maybe my favorite videos that i see are when uh when girls post videos like selfie videos of themselves in a car while their boyfriend is listening to part of my yes and they're just staring at the phone listening to us talk about god knows what rolling their eyes like i can't believe i'm with a guy that finds this entertaining yes i love those videos those downloads count the same though yeah because you know those those women secretly got got the hots for us yeah they definitely hey if you're doing it right now sup yeah sup sup how you doing because you i Because I know what you're talking about. That woman, basically, every time her boyfriend puts it on, these guys again.
Yeah. I don't want to listen to them.
Well, guess what? Guess what, babe? Dump that zero. Get with the hero.
Yeah. Come on.
You can be a part of my take groupie. We should sign up for like a list serve.
Hard on my take. Would y'all, speaking of that.
No Take Strike that from the record Okay No go ahead

No that was a bad joke

No good segue Hank

Bad joke

Bad segue

Speaking of that

Just a joke

I don't even

I shouldn't even read this

No you have to

No you gotta

Would y'all ever consider

Doing a kid friendly episode

Thanks for your consideration

Uh

What

I think we've tried

What do you mean

It just doesn't work

I wish I said

Heart of my take

And I said speak of that.

Oh, like a PG episode?

Yeah.

We could.

I don't know what we talk about.

So no.

The answer is no.

Probably not.

We should do it.

You know what we should do?

We should do a Nickelodeon episode.

Or a Berman.

A Berman.

Like one week.

Yeah.

Like a kid-friendly Berman.

No, but you know what?

I like the idea of all these kids being molded by us.

We don't want to.

What if we do a kids bop version of part of my take?

Yeah.

That would be sick.

Have just kids read our lines of dialogue that we've already said in an episode back to each other.

Let's do numbers.

69.

Yeah.

Billy's not here.

Hank? 17, I guess. do uh numbers 69 yeah billy's not here uh hank 17 i guess 26 jake and max you guys can say a number 18 max 20 Oh.
Oh, here we go, Max.

90.

90.

90.

All right.

Okay.

Takey's Friday.

Everyone enjoy.

Love you guys. I'm talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'd say it anyway.

Today is my day to find you shy away.

I'll be coming for your lover to pray.

Needless to say.

All the sudden ends, but I'll be stumbling away. Slowly learn that life is okay.
Thank you. The same with something.
The only thing. The only thing.
The only thing. The only thing.
The only thing. The only thing.
Things that you say isn't life-long

Just to blame my worrying weight

You are the things I've got to remember

When you shine away

I'll be coming for you anyway

When you shine away

I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me

Thank you. Take me.
Take me.

Take me.