Sam Darnold, Mt Rushmore Of Pisses, Joey Chestnut Is The GOAT American, Britney Spears vs Vic + Monday Reading

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have Sam Darnold on the show. We interviewed him at TEU.
It was awesome in person. Great talking to Sam Darnold.
We also have the Mount Rushmore of pisses, peas. Great Mount Rushmore.

We're back after the week off july 4th so we got a lot to talk about we got who's back of the week we got a monday reading we're gonna get right back to the show the last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button. Get a quote today.
Restrictions apply. USAA! All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the streets there is violence And I'm not like this So it works Boy! We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take.
Today is Monday, July 10th, and the boys are back. Hello, boys.
Hello, boys. Hello, boys.
Good to see of you it's a great great to be back we had uh the week of fourth of july off so we haven't talked to the people in a while i hope everyone enjoyed dungeons and dragons on friday i certainly did tim woods is a legend uh but boys where should we start i mean i actually think i was thinking about i was trying to recap everything that happened this past week. And there's only one way to start.
And I know everyone's like, oh, Victor Wembenyana and Britney Spears. No, it's our guy, Joey Chestnut, being the greatest American of all time and saving, literally saving the 4th of July for America.
Yeah, that's when he goes between being the greatest athlete to ever compete in a sport to being an absolute legend, a living legend, the Paul Bunyan of chugging glizzlies. Because this dude was fucking he he walked out of the locker room when they canceled the event.
And the look on his face was just one of utter sheer determination. I said that they should put that face on money.
That should be a portrait that exists on like a four dollar bill however much a hot dog costs that should be on that denomination of currency because he was determined he was going to make that thing happen come hell or high water and then he stepped out there and yeah it wasn't his best performance but given the circumstances he absolutely he still dominated everybody and and put his best foot forward continued the streak dude is a legend he he i mean they tried to freeze him out we know what happens to the buns he told us what happens to the buns when they sit out they get stale they're harder to eat he still dominated 16th championship i i know that people think maybe we get a little hyperbolic when we talk about joey chestnut in terms of the greatest of all time I don't think we are we're doing it enough because this that past fourth of July not only did he you know cement himself even further better than everyone else never going to be touched but he's also maybe on a short list of greatest Americans of all time he saved the sport he saved eating like the list of people that you can count that have done something of that magnitude, it's Joey Chestnut and it's Teddy Roosevelt when he saved football.

Yeah.

When he turned into the Woke Football League, we're not allowed to have people die on the field anymore. But it was such a great moment because we were all bummed out when the hot dog eating contest was canceled.
Everybody was just pissed off. Like, what are we going to do before the barbecue starts? This is what we do every 4th of July.
It's appointment television. We get amped up about it.
And he just, he, as an individual, made sure that it happened. He's like, we're going to do this fucking thing.
Yeah. And then he did the fucking thing.
And then he did the fucking thing. He is, yeah, he's up there.
If we did a new Mount Rushmore of greatest Americans of of all time it's joey chestnut who else get tj off get thomas jefferson he's a fraud overrated arnold schwarzenegger i'm trying to think who else if we're talking just like sucking down hot dogs i feel like nancy reagan might have a have a say yeah it's been a while since she's gone viral for being the throat coat memes imagine if she competed in the nathan's hot dog eating contest that would that would be a matchup yes a hologram nancy reagan yeah that would be great if we just did it's like uh when they when they do like what this horse would look like against secretariat and they just did that as an animation maybe you get like the monday night football graphics going again and what's it like mike and ike's she's swallowing them like pills yeah tic tacs yeah yeah she's like a yeah she's like when you give your your dog pills you just put them into like a little peanut butter capsule gulp boom no it was it was great though i was i was so happy that we at least got to have the contest it was it was a great moment for america it really was it really was um uh the other things that so victor wambanyama uh welcome to america buddy uh no no no way to like be introduced to to our culture and our world and have britney spears try to grab your ass and then have it become like a international incident on your second week in this country i i still don't really know what the big issue was watching the video i i like what what what was that she tried to grab him a security guard kind of swiped and then it she almost hit herself in the face it was the way the news came out yeah the report came out the day before and everyone used their own imagination thinking that his security guard like punched her in the face. Yeah.
And then once the video came out, I was like, oh, this is. This is nothing, Parker.
Yeah. I'll be honest with you.
This was a story that I saw the headline and I was like, okay, I don't really need to read past this headline. I'm not sure this even happened.
It was like TMZ needed something to write about. and they are the king it's them and uh and our good friend robert little at black sports online tmz and bso they know how to write a fucking headline they do and so they they got everybody's attention on an otherwise slow news day it would it would be great if uh like the most shocking part is britney spears knows who victor webin yama is maybe like hoop head.
Like maybe she's a baller. But that would be great if like ESPN hired her for maybe some of the vacancies on NBA Countdown.
Like how great would that be? Britney knows ball. How high did she have to reach up in the air to grab his ass? Yeah.
I imagine that his ass is probably like above the top of her head and i probably yeah it's i gotta say because he's playing right now um in a summer league game and i think he's playing better than his first one i know that we're a victor webiniam podcast we've staked our reputation on it uh everyone will remember this it would be so fucking funny if a bust. No, no.
I think you're kind of misconstruing what our point was. Like we were already right about Victor women.
You said that he's the best prospect in the history of the NBA draft. What he does with that from this point on, that's on him.
But we were, he went first overall. We nailed that one.
So if he's a bust, like that would be funny, right? Like that would be pretty funny. No, Hank, why not? I not I don't think he's gonna be a bus no I I don't think so either I I don't think so either but it would be kind of funny it'd be very funny yes because I mean he's sad buss are sad yeah I get that like Greg Oden like that's sad that was different though that was like more about injuries if he if he just like wasn't good at playing basketball you know okay you're you're That's sad.
That was different, though. That was more about injuries.
If he just wasn't good at playing basketball, that'd be fun. Okay, you're right, Hank.
That's impossible with his size. Yeah.
The only way he's a bus is if injuries. Okay, so I agree, Hank.
Bussar said, what if he just sucked really bad this year and then became an all-time great? That would be funny. Yeah.
So how many first-round picks do the Thunder have right now?

They've got, like, I know they have 35 draft picks.

I think, like, 15 of them are first-round picks.

I think they have one of the Rams' picks.

Is it possible for the Thunder to, like,

what would be the amount of first-round picks

that the Spurs would accept for Victor Wimbaniama?

Oh, I don't know.

But the Thunder don't need it.

They have Chet.

I can't wait to watch Chet and Victor go at it. We've got victor women yama at home they've been women yama at home yeah it's gonna be like i actually think both of them will be relieved when they play each other because they know that they're not gonna get bodied they're just they're just gonna like pirouette pirouette around each other for for you know 48 minutes and just like do a little dance i actually think that when they play against each other they're going to see that as an opportunity for them to be able to back down somebody finally yeah so they're going to start like throwing their tiny little bodies around into each other yeah yeah be like look at this i'm a real man yeah it will it will be a mano-a-mano but yeah that was uh that was quite the story that was also one of those like hey we're in the middle of July.
Not a lot to talk about. Let's just run the Victor Wembenyama-Brittany Spears storyline for four days straight.
Yeah, it was pretty good. It was a great headline.
I have a goddamn, I feel really, really old, and I wish that I didn't read this today. Oh, no.
So the Nationals drafted Dylan Cruz from LSU. That dude's a beast, by the way.
LSU players went one and two in the MLB draft. Yeah, Skeens went to the Pirates.
Yeah, and they asked Dylan Cruz who his idols were growing up playing baseball. And he said that as a kid, he modeled his swing after Bryce Harper.
Oh. Yeah, I wish that he had never said said that I already love him because he's going to be an awesome player in major league baseball he's a great college player but I just really wish he had said any name except for Bryce Harper dude that's that's kind of like we we joked about it when Brandon Miller said that Paul George was his goat but I saw another clip of another prospect being like Paul George my favorite player and I was like this is this maybe is like what this is what the future is like we need to stop saying like MJ LeBron just ask like who's your favorite player because for a lot of these kids like if you're 18 years old what is that do the math.
2015 is when you were 10 years old.

So you were too young probably to even understand the heat, LeBron.

That's crazy.

Yeah, that is nuts.

Dele was my favorite player growing up.

That's a bummer.

I can't believe you just told me that.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

All right, other news. Damian Lillard, I'm so sick of him but I'm more sick of him the report I don't know if it came from him but maybe his agent basically being like I want to go to the Heat and nowhere else he's done a really good job of taking like the best goodwill that any player's ever had and just finding like how quickly can I erode all ofode all of this? Yeah.
I don't know how serious he is about that. I mean, he does want to go to the heat, obviously, but when he says, I don't want to play, I won't play for any other team.
If they do trade him to a different team, is he really just going to sit out the entire time? That'd be crazy. That in him.
That's, I think that's the only leverage that he has is to say that he would do that. I don't know if he'd actually follow through, but I'm still, what they should do threads the new uh the new twitter that should just be a dame lillard free app no dame lillard discussion on threads i'm down for it by the way should we should we talk about threads i'm i'm already it was fun for like two and a half days yeah yeah two and a half days two days i i've just uh yeah i i don't know i don't know what to do with it now because i just don't there's nothing it's too nice it's uh a bunch of people like trying to go viral by being like asking like questions like what what is everyone having for dinner and shit like that i tried to play that game for like a day and a half got bored like i i think i'm done i think

i'm done with yeah you know this part yeah uh you can't delete it or you're gonna delete your instagram as well if you try to delete it it'll delete your instagram account us oh damn you crafty minx that's why i never got it it is funny it is funny like on a on a bigger scale of like the the all the like anti-elon guys being like well zuck will zuck will save us the guy who like he's the four years ago like the whole country was having a crisis about zuckerberg like you know like swaying elections and all this shit and like how he was like this he had to go to congress he Congress. They're like, no, no, he's not Elon.
It's cool.

We'll just give him all of our information.

We have the collective memory of a goldfish in this country.

It's really wild that Zuck is now the good guy in a battle between like Zuck and Elon Musk.

I think they both suck.

But it was fun for the first two days because everybody pretty much treated Thread like it was a burner account.

Yeah.

Like what they said there didn't matter at all. And there's definitely going to be some people that do get canceled for their jobs in like seven years when they look back at what you put on Thread for like the first two days when everybody was just like firing off takes left and right.
It's like, oh, it's a new social media app. It was like Twitter in 2009, 2010.
Yeah. When people just like saying whatever, like 10 years from now, there's going to be a congressperson that has to get in front of a microphone be like i was it was the lyrics to a

rap song that i was putting up there okay listen it was thread it was the wild west at this point

it wasn't real but yeah i got i i'm with you big cat i have not been on thread in the last two days

after just like doing nothing but random top 10 lists yeah of things and then it's like oh yeah

that app oh yeah i remember that one yeah the first day and a half was exciting it was like

Thank you. after just like doing nothing but random top 10 lists of things.
And then it's like, oh, yeah, that app. Oh, yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah, the first day and a half was exciting. It was like because there's nothing going on.
Oh, new app. And then as soon as I realized that I was following a bunch of people that I'm following for their pictures, not their thoughts, and now they're giving me their thoughts.
I don't need their thoughts. That's guys and girls.
That's guys and girls. Yeah.
I thought we were still out for his pictures. Yeah.
Oh, the J-Lo one. I got to find it.
J-Lo had one where I was like, I think it was the moment I was like, I think I'm done with this app forever. She, hold on.
I got to find it because it was, it was, everyone's just too nice too they're all like everyone's like oh this is nice i'm getting here do you see dane cook he was like this this place is so nice like all these all this community that we built it's like dude we've been on this for a fucking 24 hours what are you talking about really really strange stuff very strange it also sucks having to first in the morning. Now there's another app that you have to log on to and see what's going on.
Now you've got to go Twitter, Instagram thread right in the morning or else you're going to feel like I'm missing out on something. And you know what's going to happen.
That's the thing. Thread.
I feel like if anything happens on thread, it's just going to be on Twitter and probably vice versa. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't think think you need both um jlo said next thread hummingbirds appear to me in some of the most important moments of my life what's your spirit animal i was like i'm i can't do this i can't this is why we have bullying on twitter sloths like this we we cleaned out twitter to to be brutally honest about everything sloths because they're lazy and they sleep all day and you only see them when you're on vacation, Hank.

Yeah.

Did you see your theories prove corrected?

The Island Boys were making out on Threads? Oh, yeah.

Well, I know that that's true.

Yeah, twins.

All twins.

All twins have kissed.

The Island Boys were making out on Threads?

I actually never saw it.

It was for OnlyFans.

They have an OnlyFans.

They were kissing and then they're like, come check out our OnlyFans. I saw it on Twitter.
I said it was on threads. That should be the sign that the internet was a bad idea.
The whole thing is a bad idea. Officially a bad idea.
If like people are, if twin boys are making out with each other to drive subscriptions to their OnlyFans as a promotional stunt, everyone needs to log off. You should not be allowed to use the internet in the summer.
I like that it's like twin brothers kissing. We were fine with the guy who's just publicly been letting his wife get railed for the last week out of 22.
I got it. That's fine.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's been, it really is in terms of like the internet delivering on a, on down sports times. It was fun for that.
Like I appreciated Zuck doing it when he did it because there really was nothing going on. And like, Hey, let's all fuck around on an app for a couple of days and then we'll forget it until some type of controversy happens and we'll go back on it

and then we'll forget it again yeah it was it did fill a nice purpose there it gave us something to do for for those two down days um i've got i had another drunk idea we could get into that real quick because i'm sure that a lot of people out there have have thought about this at some point but we need to make it happen as a reality i've been playing a lot of golf recently i've gone out with Hank a couple times here in Chicago,

and they need to make a happen as a reality. I've been playing a lot of golf recently.
I've gone out with Hank a couple times here in Chicago.

And they need to make a fucking golf ball with a chip in it that you can locate on your phone.

When you lose it in the woods or in a bush or in tall grass.

We've spent, what, like $50 billion on an F-22 to shoot down a hot air balloon.

I think that the technology exists out there to put a chip in a golf ball.

They have 20,000 of them at every Topgolf that you go to.

Now, I understand the naysayers will be like, well, then you won't have to buy new golf balls because you'll just always be able to find them. No, that's how you use American ingenuity.
You make the chips slowly wear down. So they are only good for like a couple of months.
And then you have to re-up on new balls. but this needs to happen i know that we probably have somebody out there from taylormade that's listening right now let's make a golf ball with a chip in it we're way overdue for that apple tag yeah apple tag they got it they have it they created that who's they uh taylormade tp5 oh wait oh he's reading the onion right I mean, no, TP fives are the best golf balls.
I've been playing the best golf ball. Yeah.
But I used to. I have an entire rack of TP fives and I burn through like nobody's business because there's shut up, Hank.
There's not a chip in them. So I lose them all the time.
Also, give me a ball with a chip in it. it's not that hard to worry about it because like if you go in the water you're not going to go get it yeah if you hit it in deep grass you're not going to go get it you're still gonna have to buy new balls explodes in the water yeah there are gps golf golf balls they're about okay well they need to be they need to be incorporated into everyday life yeah but so pft the only downside if we're if we're just in the trust tree and we're just, you know, like pretend we're in Shark Tank, what then, like, it kind of is a bad thing because, like, I'll hit it in the woods and then I'll just, like, wait until no one's looking and then drop it right by the woods.
That's fine. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat anyway.
Right, but, like, people, like, you know, you want to, i don't want to know where my ball is people like why do you have so many balls you only need one ball it's like well i don't want to hit it out of like when because when i hit it out of bounds i hit it out of bounds yeah oh me too and i'll just like if it's more than 100 yards off the fairway i'll probably just let it go oh if i can't see the ball within like the first pass through it's like that that one's gone forever it would make golf so much more fun the rounds would go faster it would be better just let's let's make it happen i'll i'll put my name behind this one i'll help taylor may develop a cheap economically feasible what's that smile no no what was that was that smile? I was just a couple of things were just making me laugh. Go on.
Well, I was thinking I remember the track thing. And then also me and PFT were playing yesterday.
And he a couple of times was playing like legitimately like two fairways over. It was funny when I heard when he was like, if it's 100 yards away was like no not a good line fairway got a good line but the fairway after yeah if i'm in the other fairway i'm definitely going to play it i'm in a fairway it's a great shot yeah no no no it just made me smile yeah good i'm glad that we could make you laugh some of us hank some of us can't get out there and golf seven to nine times a week yeah i mean I mean, this is a – yeah, whatever.
Whatever. For everyone, by the way, who's giving Hank shit this summer, just know – All the time.
It's all I hear. Just know that before the summer started, he did sit me and PFT down.
He's like, I'm not working this summer. So he said that to us.
Yeah, it's the summer of Hank. That's not exactly how I said it.
Yeah, you're like, guys, just so you know, I'm not going to work this summer. But he also told us like once football season starts, he's into work mode.
He's going to work like you've never seen him ever. No one's ever going to work harder.
I don't have an office I can go to. The golf course is literally the only, my only sanctuary.
Making deals out on the golf course. If the office was open, I'd be there.
But you leave me no choice. He did alert us that he will not be working this summer.
So lay off of him. Okay.
Lay off. We're not blindsided by this.
I was shocked. Just make a fucking chip.
I was shocked when he texted us. PFT was like, hey, I have a vacation plan.
It's like, dude, you told us you weren't working this summer. What do you mean you have a vacation planned? Yeah.
Do you mean August? Yeah. The only vacation you would plan is to work like i have a vacation planned i'm gonna work for a week actually not even again this kind of kind of fits this false narrative that you guys are trying to spin but i am going to whoa whoa whoa whoa did you or did you not say i'm not working this summer no i said you know i'm gonna enjoy myself this summer because we don't have an office to work out of.
And once the fall comes, we're going to be living in the office. But you guys spend that in me not working.
I am taking vacation in August to Block Island, which doesn't have a golf course. What? No, that actually is an anti vacation.
That's that's work. I'm going to work.
You're in prison, basically, if you go out. How do they not have a fucking golf course? They just don't have one there.
I think it's like they want it that way. You just got to hit it in the ocean.
Yeah, but that did come over me. I was like, damn, I'm taking all this time off, and I can't even play.
Wait, there is one. No.
Okay, Billy. I promise you.
Hank is scouting. Hank is on Google Earth, zooming in.
That looks like like a hole the artist he's worked this last month was trying to find a single golf course on block there's two golf courses man gotta be embarrassed i mean uh only other thing i had for us uh cooper flag is is is like making waves and i just want to remind everyone he was our guy first. The real deal.
We had him when he was 16 years old. We've been grooming two guys, Cooper Flagg and Charlie Woods.
Everyone else, back off. He's awesome.
He's just swatting balls into the backboard. He had, what, six blocks in the championship game? Throwing alley-oops to himself.
And everyone who's like, well, he's going to be a duke blue devil i will just choose to just not acknowledge that entire year of his existence well he definitely wouldn't have gone to duke if coach k was still there that's true you would not have fit into coach k's system uh by the way quick bear season two uh recap awesome awesome season way too much coach k talk yeah that was a sneaky little subplot wasn't it yeah it was it was but everyone should go watch that show it's fucking awesome is he related to coach k no he looks like it no no it was just watch the show okay uh all right it's a very stressful show though yeah you've ever worked in a restaurant before you get ptsd from the dinner rushes all that stuff you feel like you're back in it yeah oh uh i had a drunk idea too speaking of restaurant business i went out to dinner a couple weeks ago and uh when i was finishing i had some leftovers and a dude came up and he was wearing a shirt that was different than all the other waiters and was like can i take this for you i think we could just eat for free if we just show up to really nice restaurants and we just go to like people who are just finishing being like can i take this for you and then just walk out yeah stand there with your hands behind your back like you're looking very official i mean it's your piece you could probably only do it once at each restaurant but it would work i i handed him my food like it was nobody's business being like this guy will come back with a bag and yeah i i think i found a way that if if we ever fall in hard times we can just live off of that yeah next time you see a homeless person on the street don't don't give them any money don't give them food it's like teaching a man to fish as opposed to handing him a fish yeah you go up with a nice van hewson shirt from's off the rack. You tell him tuck it in these khakis, put a belt on, and then you can eat for free at any restaurant in the city.
Yes. Yeah.
Just be like, just walk up and just kindly say anyone who's just about done. Hey, can I take that for you? Can I bag that up for you? All right.
So should we do who's back? Then we'll get to Sam Darnold and the Mount Rushmore pisses. Let's do it.
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Hank, who's back of the week? Yeah, who's back of the week is Billy Lying. He just instilled some hope into me, but there's definitely not.
That's the worst lie I've ever told you. Yeah, but you can't just whatever.
Block Island Club. Wentworth Golf Course.
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All right. Yeah, give me the location of those, Billy, and then let me know.
My other who's back. I have a couple of the four aces.
Oh, yeah. Huge, huge comeback today honestly i'm not even trolling i was watching it it was interesting like cam smith was winning he had a chance to birdie 18 and his team would have won and he would have won he had a two-shot league but he bogeyed it so his team lost but he still won the like single single tournament and afterwards he was like mad was like, how do you feel? He was like, it's kind of mixed emotions because I wish we had won.
But the four aces are just a wagon. What are the four aces again, Hank? Dunson Johnson, Patrick Reed, Peter Uline, Paparez.
Bang. There we go.
Nice. Finally got it.
Finally got it. There are absolutely zero golf courses on Block oh yeah i got so positive just tried to mansplain you yeah but these websites are lying well no you you have to click more than one click into like a google search result and then you can figure that out leadingcourses.com it says there's two and they're not in lock island uh jamie from from uh the joe rogan show if he only got to like go off the very top like third of the screen on every time he tried to pull up like a google fat check and then my other who's back it's it's really who's you know who's now is this vegas globe oh yeah yeah they they rolled it out this weekend and it's maybe the coolest thing i've ever seen like i feel like it's going to be everywhere all the time now like it's the it's the future it's like a giant i don't even know how you would describe it it's unbelievable really really good i would fuck the globe it's a 360 degree led screen that can be changed and manipulated to look like different things like they had sick fireworks on fourth of july they make it look like like they had an nba basketball for the summer league i i don't know how much it costs but like do you know what side you know what the craziest part about the globe What? Who created it? Yeah.
John Taffer. James Dolan.

Wow.

James Dolan.

There was an article uh a few years ago that was basically like the here's the headline forget kevin durant new york knicks owner james dolan's actual passing project is building futuristic dome-shaped arenas so if you're a knicks to hate this globe. You've got to protest this globe.
I mean, he's really good at designing globes. Yeah, but he literally has been spending the last, like, 10 years of his life building a globe instead of a basketball team.
Yeah, but look where Kevin Durant's at now, and look at this fucking globe. That's true.
That's true. Did the globe really go down for a minute? Did you that picture was that photoshopped because i don't know it was it it was someone tweeted it it was like las vegas local or something and it was like when your computer screen goes to like a blue screen it was like please restart it ruled i hope that that was real that sounds like it might have been photoshopped it probably was yeah it's got the xbox red ring of death on it yeah that would be awesome to play like video games on the globe dude the globe is the future you're obsessed with buildings in las vegas it seems like no that's what i'm saying like i would fuck that's quite an afternoon like fucking allegiant stadium and then going over and just using the globe like an anal bead also a special fuck you fuck you to, like, anyone out there who's like, what a waste of resources.
Like, the world is, like, you know, on fire. We're all going to die.
Yeah, dude. If we're going to die, I want to watch something cool.
I want my TV. I want to be able to see something cool as I die.
Yeah. Vegas.
This is actually, like, a great other thing that we can add to billionaires. If you're a billionaire, you either have to own a sports team of some sort or design something cool for all of us to look at and just have our minds blown by.
And if you're a great owner, then do both. I can't wait for the article that's going to come out in a month about globe accidents, like people getting in traffic accidents.
Just look at the globe. Because I would just stare at that thing does it mean doler's gonna turn the mecca they should turn the mecca into a globe i think he wants to i think he wants to build another globe in london yeah i don't see how anyone can see that but potential investor and be like i'm in like if you have any any amount of money to invest and you're getting offered the chance to invest in that globe like you have to say yes yeah yeah what does it do it just puts cool shit out there yeah everyone takes pictures of it it's like they're gonna however much it costs to advertise on it is like it's better than a billboard absolutely globe all right is that all your who's back uh-huh that was good good job pft uh my who's back the week is bob huggins yes bob huggins is kind of back it seems like he might be back i don't know but he's he's employing a brilliant legal defense right now he's claiming that he never actually resigned from wvu after he got a dui um it was less than david freezes dui in terms of bac but he did he did DUI, a pretty bad one.
And they claim that he resigned at the time. West Virginia University said that he's stepping down from his position as head basketball coach.
He is now saying that he never resigned, that his wife sent an email saying that he was maybe going to step down and that they ran with that. And so now he's claiming that he's going to come back and coach west virginia basketball unless they fire him and they're kind of the ball's in their court at this point but um as far as a legal strategy goes i think it's it sounds pretty ironclad it's like my wife sent you an email i didn't yeah yeah and if you want to fire me fire me and then i get paid i'd assume yeah or fire my wife yeah my wife i got i got hacked by my wife is what he's saying.
I, how if you want to fire me, fire me, and then I get paid, I'd assume. Yeah, or fire my wife.
I got hacked by my wife, is what he's saying. Because he already took a pay cut after the radio thing.
It feels like he might just coach West Virginia for $1 next year. That's fine.
If this was in Louisiana, they would be like, okay, yeah, that's a good legal defense you're back in. West Virginia is kind of – they're kind of Louisiana adjacent in terms of how they apply their laws.
But that's going to be – Why does he just retire? Well, because then he walks away from all that money. They owe him money.
Yeah. I hope Hoggy goes like the Jim Calhoun route and goes and finds like a Division III school and just gets them all on the treadmill and wins all the games.
Yeah.

That'd be fun. It's a school that

exists in a place that doesn't have roads

so he can't drive. Yes.

Where would that be? Does Block Island have

a college and roads, Billy? Golf

carts? Yeah. No idea.

Yeah. All right.
Good. Who's back?

You got any others?

No, that's just it. I was going to sayy being a liar too but hank took mine yeah uh what did i uh what did i do to you i got a few who's back first is wimbledon talking tennis uh i didn't know i didn't know federer was fully retired oh yeah yeah you're in a suit watching yeah i know kind of a cuck move well well jokovic is gonna keep just tallying up wins in his face oh i'm not i'm not a i'm not a fashion guy but uh spieth spieth ricky and justin thomas were there and i saw the picture i was like oh spieth looks good like i kind of like his outfit the most and then he was just getting cooked for his suit not being ironed can i say something and i And I don't think this is true because Jordan Spieth has a lot of money.
But I think I have that same suit. And I understand what happened because it's like a $500 suit that you buy on Instagram.
One of those swipe up ads. And I'm pretty sure it's the exact same suit.
Yeah, it does. It does wrinkle very quickly because it's a $500 on instagram you know when you get those ads they're like you'll never own another suit again i bought one of those and it does wrinkle and it's exactly that same color and it looks exactly like it i think he's wearing a 500 instagram suit and if you fly somewhere and you pack a suit it's going to be a little bit wrinkly like all that travel is going to make it wrinkly.
Then you have to remember, oh, I got to get my suit pressed after you get to a new city, new country, new hotel. Probably just doesn't have time to get the small.
It's a small amount of wrinkles. It's not a good visual, but it's not like the most wrinkly suit that I've ever seen in my life.
Jake, find me a picture of the suit I was wearing for the Barstool Invitational and send it to the group. Oh, I got it.

I think I'm wearing the same suit as him.

It's not the same color, but...

But I think, and it's wrinkled.

And mine wrinkles as well.

I think he bought a $500 Instagram suit.

And it makes sense.

There's also a good chance that Big Cat's like,

oh, he has a wrinkly suit.

I have a wrinkly suit.

That must be the same suit.

Look at it.

Look at it.

Look at it. I just sent you the picture.
Okay. Same color.
Same thing. It looks exactly the same.
Same material. I think he went the $500 Instagram suit route.
I think that's a different color. Yeah, I got to see the buttons.
All right. We got to see the...
Are those cufflinks you're wearing? No. No.
I don't think so. So, like, the buttons on the bottom sleeve.
It could be. It looks the same.
Yeah. Again, you look good, too.
I thought it was. I thought I thought I thought he looked fine.
And then I saw him getting cooked. I was like, well, that's why I don't know fashion.
I just I was like Homer Simpson meme when I was like, I was going to roast him. And then I was like, wait, I think I know exactly what happened here.
And listen, it's a comfortable suit. Like it did work.
It is. It is cheap.
So you're saying he will. He will.
But the ad, he will get another suit again. It seems like he might.
He might. So the thing is, it's now I'm really going to just tell myself it's one of those.
It's I get targeted for a lot of the ads. Max knows Max back me up the the like, hey, you ever want a shirt that hides your belly and your tits? Like, get this shirt.
You'll never own another shirt. And it's just a T-shirt and you're still fat in it.
This is the suit version of that. It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well.
And so it's like it's like it's like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form. Is this a fat, is this a fat suit or is this a suit for people that don't like ironing? I bought it because it was like, this will fit the contours of your body perfectly.
The linebacker build. Yeah, right.
Everyone says that it's built for a linebacker. Let me just say this.
It's a compelling ad. It's a compelling ad when you see it on your instagram and i have so many of the t-shirts i have so many of those i will try to confirm through maybe jt if he can figure out what exactly suit he's wearing so um but yeah that was talking to us oh i like the idea that you and max get served ads and it's It's your body like tj watts dude and you're like yeah it is yeah i'm not kidding it's it's it's basically the alex jones picture in every ad they're like do you look fat and frumpy with man tits in your shirts and it's like some guy like slouched over with like stains on his shirt he's like try this shirt this shirt.
And it's like perfectly contoured for wide shoulder guys. Pop your biceps.
Hide your fat. And then you put it on and it's just a t-shirt.
Tight around the biceps, loose around the waist. That's always the line.
That's always the line. Dude, it always gets me.
I'm like, fuck, so I'll look jacked and skinny? There is a large portion of AWLs listening now being like yup i know exactly what you're talking about and i get those shirts as well so we stand with you max and i stand with you we've been targeted and harassed by mark zuckerberg for our body yeah i might look into this i think it's a minority i'll send you the suit the best part about the suit is you just you go you go and and you don't get measured for it. You just click.
Medium large. It's basically like, what body type are you? Fat? Husky? Sturdy? It's like only three options.
He's good when it comes to those algorithms. Yeah.
Because he's got all your pictures, so he knows what your body type is. I get the I get the like lift kit ad.
Like, do you want to add an extra one and a half to two inches to your height? Well, then just slip these on in your shoes. I get a big cat legends every day.
Yeah, only that I see all over the place. All right.
My other one other who's back is eating, which is actually kind of perfect for this eating is back. I don't know if you guys saw this, but there's a new TikTok trend called girl dinner.
So girl dinner, I'll read a little bit of the article. This isn't the Monday reading.
It could have been, though. According to TikTok, where the trend has more than 30 million views, girl dinner is akin to an aesthetically pleasing lunchable and artfully arranged pile of snacks that when consumed in high enough volume constitutes a meal or so the thinking goes so it was basically came uh like they set the scene it's 90 90 degrees outside you come home from a long day at work you grab a popcorn bag of popcorn a glass of wine some bread some cheese a hunk of chocolate settle into the couch for a night of snacking and watching tv is there anything more glorious welcome to girl dinner so it's just i've been eating i've been eating girl dinner for the last 20 years of my life there's nothing i like better than doing an all-lapse dinner just all appetizers all finger food maybe even all dips like five different types of dips dude sounds like a snack a snack is girls no no it's different no no hey it's a lot of snacks girl dinner is both popcorn and chocolate hank hank and and wine hank typical girl dinners may include some kind of fruit a block of cheddar sliced salami a sleeve of fancy crackers and a dish of olives girl dinner is both chaotic and filling charcuterie? No, it's just, dude, I've been eating girl dinner forever.
I accidentally eat a full sleeve of crackers and a block of cheese while I'm standing in front of my fridge. That's girl dinner.
Girl dinner is the best. And then this woman who works in L.A.
said, I think the concept of girl dinner came to me while I was on a hot girl walk with another female friend of mine. The concept of eating? I think it's hot girl walk.
Yeah, but no, it's hot girl walk. What did I say? Hot girl walk.
Yeah. Are they hot? Are they hot girls or is it hot outside? They're hot girls.
No, no, it's the walk. The walk is a hot girl walk.
Yeah. She said.
Yeah, it describes the walk. It doesn't describe the girl.
A guy can do a hot girl walk. So here's the last thing I'll read from it.
She said she and her friend have been discussing the unmatched perfection of bread and cheese as a meal unto itself. As simple as it is satisfying.
We love love eating that way and it feels like such a

girl dinner because when we do we when we do it when our boyfriends aren't around and we don't have to have what's a typical dinner it's a how is this it's just eating it sounds kind of like the plot of yellow jackets honestly that's the real girl dinner it's girl dinner baby this is my dinner it's chaotic and filling so uh yeah girl dinner eating is is back all the way back also i like hot girl dinners also uh all the northwestern alums are back for uh speaking out against uh hazing oh wait no that's right they all went silent which i don't actually care but it is funny because they are the loudest people in the world. I don't think Greeny.
Greeny was in Japan, so I think he gets to be like, I was on a flight for two weeks. Time zones.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I just.
Oh, and they can't find a school for Skip. Yeah.
They can't find a school. Nobody wants to work with Skip.
Yeah. Yeah.
The Northwestern thing, though, it's weird. I don't really understand like well i guess there'll be more facts that come out um but it just the the part i was just interested is like let me hear all the northwestern alums that are down our ass when they win four football games billy billy's got to take he's been brewing on it no dudes who don't play in transfer are the biggest snitches ever oh billy i mean like because they're they're the only ones who's like there's something wrong with this program it's not wrong with me it's the program that's wrong and they're like in like they don't buy in yeah yeah exactly no but like they'll get bill buy into getting humped i mean if you think of a dog if you think of a football pile, there's probably more.
Yeah, listen, more intimate. They're more intimate than then who hasn't their boys.
We actually do it. We do it every Wednesday.
Yeah, I'm part of my take like a football team's brotherhood. It is always like what happens in a football locker room would shock everyone in the world probably all the time.
Yeah, I'll just say that part of this. of this, like there's some parts that aren't funny.
There's some parts that are funny. By far the funniest is the fact that they're going to have to have a locker room monitor that is not affiliated with a football team at all whose job it is to just stand in the locker room and observe what's going on and then report back to the university.
Make sure there's no humping. They're going to end up humping that guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's got to be a million. Northwestern, I guess I'm not going to say it.
It's a tricky one. It's a tricky one.
But there's got to be way worse. There's no doubt in my mind that there's other programs that like if whatever then i just i just

know uh this is and this is just from a personal perspective uh every time that northwestern beats

wisconsin i hear about it constantly and then i hear crickets now so where are those guys

i think they're gonna have to fire fitzharreld unfortunately yeah the soap slips the soap

slip and slide in the showers is just a classic across the country if that is wrong then i don't

I'm going to go this locker room monitor. They're going to bring in, no offense, Jake, but like somebody like Jake, they're going to bring Jake into the locker room.
It's going to be Ravel. Ravel's going to be like, I'll fix this.
I will be the locker room monitor. Yeah, Jake is going to be the locker room monitor.
No offense. They're just going to bring in a dude to watch naked dudes Yeah, that's their job And make sure that there's no Naked hijinks going on in the locker room Alright, Billy, you're who's back I can't believe this dropped so far But UFC Awesome card last night Probably one of the highlights was Israel Adesanya Going to confront Drikas Duplesis I hope I pronounced that right in the cage after he won.
That was awkward. It was.
What did he say? Yeah, what did he say, Billy? I can't say it. Why not? Because I actually didn't see this.
Oh, it sounds like Billy might not have gotten the fight card. He didn't get it.
He didn't watch. I didn't get the fight.
I didn't get the fight. He was reading headlines again.
So prove to us that you watched. Tell us what he said.
I honestly don't know. He said, what's up, my brother? Oh, okay.
He said that, and then he said, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. And then Drikas said, I'm not your brother.
Your brothers are in New Zealand. And it was just a whole thing.
Okay. But basically Duplass is saying.
Why is that so bad? Duplass is saying he's the only African champion in the UFC. He's from South Africa.
Yeah. And he's like playing off some like old, like 1990 South Africa stuff.
But what's funny is. That's called a part time.
What happened in the 1990s in South and Nigeria when it comes to like sports World Cup and everything. So there's a lot of even black Southricans rooting for trikus against adesanya because he's originally nigerian trikus is just an awesome name for a fighter he's and and bo nickel was incredible he's so awesome he showed people he could box yeah but it was a great card it was a great fucking card and uh oh also there's another thing adesanya another part of it is, there's video of Adesanya when he was kickboxing in China saying that he was really Chinese and that he's not actually African.
He's Chinese. So like that might be another element to the whole thing.
Okay. So it's going to be a great fight.
He's going to 26 and meet it. Yeah.
Yeah. That was another part.
Yeah. This is a battle of who's more African is what I'm hearing.
And Billy is the judge. Yes.
Billy will be judging. I'm just bringing it up.
He will be ringside scoring scoring the fight. Okay, is that you have any other who's backs Tom Brady? Oh, yeah, I did Lee involved with a Kardashian after your boys white party.
Yeah, what about the report that came out today? Billy, if you're gonna if you're gonna bring up news, you got to stay up to date. this was at the end of my list after britney spears and stuff so who had the report today there was a report today that he was seen at a party talking to multiple women who had the report i don't page probably new york times oh i was hoping it was florio and then you had to you had to use no no that white party uh yeah we we, we will still sneak in at some point.

We were there.

I was there.

Yeah.

They never caught me.

USA just scored.

We're going to beat Canada.

Yeah, let's go.

Yeah.

Suck it, Canada.

Fuck you.

That's for those wildfires, bitch.

Yeah, let's go. I feel like we definitely could do an amphibious assault on the white party.

We just came from the sea.

Why don't we just go from the sea? There's probably no security on the wife part on the white party we just came from the sea like what why don't we just go from the sea there's probably no security on the sea so hank why would you not be excited about tom brady dating kim kardashian is that a real question yeah yeah why wouldn't you she's hot she drove kanye crazy she can't you know know. Oh, she made Kanye crazy.
Fact or fiction, he went crazy after he married her. She's Ava Braun, you're saying? Kanye was always a little bit crazy.
That's easy to say in hindsight. I feel like you would have been I love Kanye before Kim K.
Let me ask you a question, Hank. And her past relationship.
Chris Humphreys's disaster like every relationship she's been in not great because she's she's for clout she's all about clout tom brady's a real man he cares about you know family brotherhood love yep why do you care he's not playing anymore yeah but also hank what if tom brady said uh kim kardashian's the love of my life and i just want to be happy will you not let him be be happy? If he said that, he can do whatever he wants, but I'm not going to let the internet and Billy football just report on fake rumors. Kind of sounds like you're being a cock block right now.
Are you being a cock block? No, I just let all the facts come out. That party looks insane, though.
He wants to get down with the thickness. Come on, Hank.
Dude, Giselle was like a little.

He had no cake.

That was worse.

That was worse, by the way.

Giselle was all natural.

Giselle is all natural.

Giselle is a two by four compared to Kim Kardashian.

I see a timeout.

Billy saying he just wants to get down with the thickness

is way worse than you calling every golf course a track.

Just want to update the log there. Okay.
I mean, I think they're actually both good phrases. I like that with the thickness.
That with the thickness is fun. It sounds like you're not.
It sounds like your body shaming Kim Kardashian a little bit. Me? She's got a fake body.
And Tom Brady would never do something like that. So, like, I don't.
I just like, do something like what? Have sex with a full figured female? No, Tom Brady's all natural himself. He's all about, you know, she may be too inflated for him.
Oh, you the victory. What's a better comeback?

28 to 3 or the Ray J tape?

Yeah, exactly.

See, that's what I like.

Hank, what's Kim's PSI's on her ass?

I don't know.

It's too much.

The ideal gas law or parts? You're saying you would never go for something that inflated?

Yeah.

No, I just think that report came out a week and a half ago. The one that came out today was he was at a party talking to multiple women.
Okay, but on the news, Tom Brady talks to people at parties. Yeah, okay.
And also, Hank, just on a basic level. However, sources tell page six.
Brady was also spotted engaging in conversations with various women at the party. I think he was talking to men, too, because i don't see any of those reports but hank on a basic level like you and tom brady are bros right like you guys are boys and he comes back after night he's like yo i just met this chick i think i'm gonna smash she's so hot and you're like no bro that don't do that don't know i would be like tom do you get some

fucking pizza with the boys and let's fire up the xbox that's what you're doing you're cock no no no i'm in i'm in math class and i got jimmy john sitting next to me being like did you hear tom brady's banging kim and i'm like dude you're making that up bro don't slander my bro like that We might have an issue here.

I'm just defending his arm.

Why is that slander?

Handball!

Penalty.

Oh, no.

Handball. bro don't slander my bro like that we might have an issue i'm just i'm just defending why is that why is that slander penalty oh no man ball in usa penalty coming for uh canada this is bullshit damn what do you like about kim kardashian pfc uh she's extremely attractive no but do you think those are- What's your favorite part?

She's a billionaire.

She is a business mogul. She's a lawyer, Hank.

She went to law school.

She has a very successful line of cosmetics,

and she's got an ass that won't quit.

Her dad was a lawyer.

You know what's crazy?

Do you think Kim Kardashian and Tom Brady

were both the two head honchos

walking to that party?

Tom Brady's the alpha-muchin man, and Kim Kardashian's the alpha-much the two head honchos walking to that party. Like Tom Brady's the alpha.

I don't know.

Kim Kardashian's the alpha.

I don't know.

Who else is higher ranking?

Drake.

Drake.

I do not think Drake is higher.

I think Drake was there.

You sure?

Drizzy wasn't there?

He was there.

Right, memes?

Yeah, Drake was there.

But I don't think Drake, Tom Brady or Drake to women.

Hank, tell us, Tom Brady or or drake i mean you could ask me

anything and it's tom okay all right literally anyone do you not think drake would be like at a party fuck tom brady would be cooler funnier probably sing better okay who's higher than kim Alex Earl

Rihanna

Livvy Dunn

Beyonce

That orb in Las Vegas

All of them. Everyone you just said.
Is Kim K like the- It's weird that you have like a big thing against one of your best bros banging Kim Kardashian. That's what I'm saying.
He's a cock block. That's weird.
I think you're jealous. This is fan fiction.
I'm so used i'm so used would you have obviously oh so there it is okay so that's exactly brady i don't hold myself to the standards that he holds to yeah you're like yo dude you you would never you like you shouldn't go for her and then you're you're like yeah yeah i'll meet you in a second we'll play some war zone you're in the bathroom texting kim k being like yo like i'm the

one she's right if if if tom brady comes out publicly i will i will take everything i just said back and i'll be the biggest kim k fan in the world i love it tom brady's gonna end up like lamar odom but like in amsterdam just like a nicer venue i mean yeah she's she is the she's What are you scared of?

Wait, wasn't she, wasn't that Khloe?

Yeah, but like Sam and Kurt.

Yeah, Kardashians, yeah.

So now like,

the mean. Wait, wasn't that Khloe? Yeah, but like Sam Kurs.
Kardashians, yeah. So now, like...
The Kardashian Kurs is real. He's dating, what, OJ Simpson's daughter-in-law? Yeah.
Half-daughter? No, no, Khloe. No, that's just Khloe.
Yeah, but so that would make Kim OJ's half-daughter. False.
No that's not how step half-daughter that's not how that works the stepsister to the real killer oj son yeah there you go got it uh all right i don't know how we got jake you you're up yeah i don't know how i'm gonna follow that conversation we haven't talked for a while

the guys

lies I don't know how we got Jake. You're up.
I don't know how I'm going to follow that conversation.

We haven't talked for a while.

The guys.

I didn't miss.

I didn't miss that, Billy.

I don't know what.

Like, come on.

Who's back?

That was a meandering 20 minutes.

It started with Northwestern and ended with Hank fucking Kim Kardashian.

It is really weird, though, that Hank is totally against Tom Brady. Dude.
Being with Kim. He's being a real fucking, like, dog.
He's being a vibe killer. Dog.
It's rumors. I'm defending him against rumors.
If you guys had rumors where, like, I would defend you, too. No, dude.
Tom Brady's a stay-at-home dad. He needs to find another sugar mama to pay his bills because he always likes women who make more than him.
That's just the facts. He needs a woman with money.
That's the facts. You can't deny it.
There could be something there. There could be something there.
Again, Tom can do whatever he wants. But until I hear it from him, I'm not going to let people decide what's best for him.
He got dumped by his ex-wife who needed a better trophy husband. Now he's looking for someone to take care of him.
All right, Jake, your who's back. My who's back is the NBA Cup.
It was revealed this weekend. I think a lot of people don't like it.
I think it's awesome. I think it's a professional version of the Maui Invitational Battle for Atlantis.
I don't think anything's wrong with it. Okay, so I actually agree with you, Jake.
Yeah. I know you think that I only shit on things just to be cool.
That's not the fact here. And here's why.
There's one reason why I like it. I looked at the schedule.
The final four is December 9th. What is December 9th? That's Army-Navy Day.
That is the day that you're like,

oh, fuck, college football is over.

So scheduling-wise, I'm in.

I will watch this.

I will like it.

Like, December 9th,

I don't think people are circling NBA

on their calendar,

but now this gives you a reason to do so.

Yes.

There is that feeling that you get

after Army-Navy's over

where there should be more sports on that day.

Right.

Exactly.

The Heisman is on.

Right.

Yeah, there's never is that feeling that you get after Army Navy's over where there should be more sports on that day. Right.
Exactly. The Heisman is on.
Right. Yeah.
There's never any good sports on after that. I think it's going to be great.
I hope that some real shitty team wins it so that they can just hang up a banner that sounds like NBA Cup Finals. If the Bulls win this, I will make the best shirt ever.
So basically for people who haven't been connected or read up on, it's basically world cup version of nba yeah it's like four uh six groups five teams each and there's knockout stages and then the final eight teams playing vegas it's a whole thing they were they did a good job of weaving it into the regular season so you won't even notice it until that december 9th day and then you'll be like oh this is kind of fun and and also i think the players each get like $500,000. One team, 500K each.
Each. So that's good.
Even a millionaire, that's a big deal.

Well,

it, and then you'd be like, oh, this is kind of fun. And also, I think the players each get like $500,000.

Winning team, $500,000 each.

Each.

That's good.

Even a millionaire, that's a big deal.

Well, and the games are in Vegas,

so it's like we're going to get great content out of the winning team

just blowing all that money that night.

Yeah, so I'm excited.

Yeah, okay.

Good who's back, Jake.

Also, Eli De La Cruz.

Yes, still in home.

Yeah.

Awesome. He stole all three bases in the same inning in in in two pitches it's wild it's crazy so much fun to watch uh max is underneath the desk right now trying to plug in the computer we might we might lose you guys but let's get to our interview we have an awesome interview with sam donald we're plugged in we're plugged in awesome interview withold, and it is brought to you by our friends at BetterHelp.
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Okay, here he is, Sam Darnold. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

It is 49ers quarterback, Sam Darnold, former Jets, former Panther quarterback, former USC quarterback.

Let's start here, though, because you are a 49er now.

How does that feel?

Are you, like, you went to OTAs.

Yes, I did.

You're with Kyle Shanahan.

Yep.

How's it gone so far? It's great. Man, first of all, thanks for having me.
This is awesome. You know, I've been a fan of the show for a while and this is a very formal setting.
So this is good. Yeah.
This is how ESPN does it. Exactly.
No, but it's great, man. Like it's nice to be on the West coast again.
I can't lie. Like by my family, it's like a a 45 minute flight down to orange county so that's really nice for my parents to be able to come on up for games super easily um and then obviously the organization man like that's you know this past year was my first first time hitting free agency so kind of the first time i i had a choice really um and to be able to just see what you know uh their organization's like um that offense is like um and just the culture that's set in in that locker room um by just great dudes and guys that you know obviously it's it's a profession it's a business and they take it very very serious but at the same time like um like I feel like they they do a great job of kind of having fun, but also mixing that with being able to lock in on the field and do your work when you need to do it.
So, yeah, we were just out at your teammate, George Kittle's barn. We were working out with him, did an interview with him.
And he told us that you guys have become pretty close. You lived at his pool house, right, during OTAs? But then you moved out, and he was wondering why you moved out.
Yeah. Well, I got my spot.
Okay. Is there anything else? No.
Any other reason why you moved out? No. That he would have told us maybe? No.
To ask you about? Uh-uh. You didn't think it was haunted oh the pool house yeah oh yeah it was yeah there was something going on oh yeah yeah that's not why i moved out i moved out because i had already spent a week there but that didn't help um you know we have to follow that up yeah yeah tell us all about the ghost i think you actually do see ghosts like i think it's like a real thing like legitly yeah uh legitimately no um it was crazy

though man like Tell us all about the ghosts. I think you actually do see ghosts.
Like, I think it's, like, a real thing. Like, legitimately? Yeah.
Legitimately? No. It was crazy, though, man.
Like, I'd never had anything like that happen to me before. I'm talking about, I mean, I guess both, you know, the New England game and at George's house.
No. But it was just, it was crazy, man.
Like, I woke up, and you know how sometimes you have a dream and then you wake up and you feel like you can't move for like maybe four or five seconds whatever it is um and you know I felt that and I woke up it was like 3 a.m went to go take a pee and you know came back fell right asleep and then that next night um you know the night after that the same thing happened um and i like i just like couldn't like i had to like keep focusing on this thing in the court like there was something else the hat man like in the room was it a dude wearing a hat no oh that's telling us about the hat man no uh was george george didn't tell you guys about this no no i'm kidding it might have been him yeah just watching exactly yeah he's just watching me uh no that's no dude it was it was very creepy and i had never dealt with anything like that before and uh i like know a couple people who have had situations where like you know there there have it was like old, like civil war, you know, place where now there's like a hotel or, um, a dorm and people have like certain experiences with that. Um, but it was just like super, super weird.
Like, and it just felt like when I woke up, there was something like holding onto me. Yeah.
Um, and then that next night I like felt that something was in the room with me and it was the, it was the freakiest thing. I'm like getting chills talking about it right now, but that's never happened to me before.
And, and I'm sure it sucks for you. Cause you can't be like, tell the media I saw a ghost.
Yeah, no, I didn't see him. I didn't, I just felt it.
Listen to your body. Yeah.
I felt it. So, no, but that was, I mean, yeah.

I'm glad George told you about that.

Yeah.

That makes me super sick.

I believe in ghosts, so I'm with you.

I'm on your side.

You went ghost hunting in Milwaukee a few years ago.

If you don't believe in ghosts, I don't believe in you as a person.

Really?

Yeah.

Ghosts are real.

How could you say ghosts aren't real?

Yeah, I mean, if you believe in angels, right, you believe in all that stuff, I guess. Little children, if they die, they become a ghost.
Someone who's been wronged, they're a ghost. Yeah.
That's just a fact. Yeah.
It's just sometimes they feel like making their presence felt, and sometimes they don't. Right.
The more I think about them, the more I think it probably was just George. Just like put on one of his luchador masks.
Yeah. Goes upstairs next to you, watches.
But it's got to be cool playing in that new offense. And as a free agent, you chose to go to San Francisco, right? Like, this seemed like a place that might be a good fit, a good place for you to start, you know, getting back out there and see what you can do.
We always say, like, imagine any quarterback in Kyle Shanahan's system because it seems like it's a very quarterback-friendly scheme. And I guess you're a gunslinger, right? Would you consider yourself a gunslinger? I mean, I play quarterback, yeah.
Yeah, you're a gunslinger. You're a gunslinger.
Yeah, for sure. I'll let you guys call me whatever, yeah.
So what is it? Because we know ball. We watch the All-22.
We study. We break down all the film.
But from your perspective as a quarterback. You guys break down connotations.
Yeah, I'm a film rat. Yeah.
Yeah, when you're when you're looking at different offenses and and you see the kind of offense they run san francisco what is it about that that made you say i want to be a part of this um guys are open i mean there's a lot of guys open on on dang near every play um it just seems like there's there's a ton of answers um great run game um i mean whenever you can have a great run game as a quarterback, that's always a comforting feeling. And, yeah, I think, you know, just with the certain weapons that they have, you know, Debo, Ayuk, George, obviously Christian, Juice, Juwan Jennings, like there's so many guys you can go on and on, but they've been there for so long.
And Kyle's been able to understand kind of what everyone does well, what they don't do well. And I feel like every game plan he uses and gets the most out of his guys.
Yeah. And that's a very good feeling as a quarterback, knowing that the coordinator is going to put everyone in the best position possible.
Do you think Kyle has hyperdrive in him? What is that? Adam Gase, when he was like, we're going to go into hyperdrive. Remember that? No.
Yeah, he was like, our offense is about to go into hyperdrive. Did he say that? Yeah, he said that.
Okay. Yeah.
That was probably one of the two years I was with him that I wasn't really paying attention to the media very often. Yeah.
Smart. I was with him for two years.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, hyperdrive can last for a very long time. You actually should see a doctor if it goes for more than a few weeks.
Yeah. Okay.
Hyperdrive was kind of like Viagra. Yeah.
A little bit. Yeah.
Sometimes hyperdrive is like over in like six seconds too. Yeah.
It's great while it lasts, but then everyone else is unsatisfied.

Oh, okay.

That makes a lot of sense, actually.

You mentioned the media.

Billy is a Jets fan.

He wrote a report that basically Jets fans or Jets quarterbacks struggle

because of the New York media.

Do you feel like his report is founded in fact at all?

You're saying the Jets struggle because of the New York media? Quarterbacks specifically. Quarterbacks.
Yeah, the media basically takes him down. No.
Okay. No.
So Billy just wasted all that time for nothing? No, I mean, I think you could, you know, have a case for it for sure. Personally, you know, living through it, I don't think so.
Yeah. You know, I think there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of different situations where, um, maybe they make something bigger than it is.
Um, and now whether, you know, you have a great, you know, an organization that allows that to kind of creep into the locker room or not, you know, that's, that's a different story. Um, but I think it's, it's about, you know, having that culture where that won't happen

and having a quarterback with a good head on his shoulders

that is just going to continue to play after play and game after game

because at the end of the day, like, it's hard to win in the NFL.

And if you make the biggest thing out of every single loss,

it's going to be hard to have success that way. Did you ever get an apology for the seeing ghost clips? Because you got fucked.
You got fucked. By ESPN? Yeah, you did.
You got done dirty big time. No, you know how many clicks they got for that? Yeah.
Yeah, but that's the thing. It's like they could take something from every single game if they're doing mic stuff.
Yeah, right. And they could choose to paint somebody in whatever light they want to after a game.

Well, all the stuff that goes on in between plays, they can find a clip, put it out there.

But for whatever reason, they just chose you.

And they're like, okay, we'll put this out for him.

Yeah, I mean, it is what it is, man.

They screwed you.

They also screwed you with the monographic.

Yeah.

That was kind of funny.

It was very funny.

That was pretty funny.

But it was like, they basically were like, here's a meme for the internet. I was like the sickest I've ever been.
Like on my deathbed, it felt like. Obviously, I wasn't.
But I was laying in bed watching the game. And that comes up.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like all my phone just blew up.
All my friends just like all caps, ha, ha, ha, ha, crying, laughing face. And then, of course, like I'm sick, so I'm kind of laughing, but I'm also like, this is just stupid.
This is, and then another thing to maybe his point, uh, just another thing that I had to deal with in the media, you know? Um, but no, I thought it was more, especially after a couple of days went by, I thought it was more funny. Okay.
That's a good attitudeonucleosis yeah exactly you probably were like man like in training camp when they made me point to the camera i never thought it would be for mononucleosis six touchdowns yeah i remember actually doing that it was like that yeah there we go and uh dude so and then that's going to be a meme now which is great uh no but i just i

remember when i did that stupid thing whatever it was otas or training camp i was like i was like

this is gonna be used whatever reason this is gonna be used for uh it's not gonna be like no

good is gonna come out of this for me and then it was the worst case scenario and so from that

moment on uh i think i've done a lot better job of in those media days just being like hey like

I don't know. good is going to come out of this for me.
And then it was the worst case scenario. And so from that moment on, uh, I think I've done a lot better job of in those media days, just being like, Hey, like I'm going to pass on that.
Like, Hey, give me, give me your touchdown celebration. I'm like, I'm good.
I'll just say here, you guys can take a headshot at me and then I'll bounce. Thanks.
Yeah. You need to be like touched on celebration.
Just hand me a clipboard. I'm back to the next play.
Literally just. Yeah.
That could happen to anybody too.

Like anytime you use a water fountain, you can get mono.

Have you done like a mono awareness campaign?

Well, the toughest thing I know, you know, she, my mom was the one who was kind of, who

brought it up and like, you know, you could have got it anyway, right?

You could have got it from sharing a bottle with one of your teammates on accident that's such a bomb thing to say you're such a nice guy yeah i was like mom you don't even have to bring this up but i think for her it was more just like you know a couple minutes went by not talking in the car and my mom can talk so it was like she had to say something and that was going to be it yeah and uh so she she brought it up and I was like, yeah, you know, it could have been anything. But it also sucks because mono is like a real thing that like you said, you were really, really sick.
Oh, yeah. But everyone just thinks of it as like the high school kissing disease.
So it's like a joke, but it's not. Well, I had to.
Yeah. A hundred percent.
Like I shouldn't have got it at 22. Yeah, for sure.
but yeah like I I had to, yeah, 100%. Like I shouldn't have got it at 22 for sure.
But, yeah, like I had to keep on weight however I could. Like I was dropping LBs like crazy.
Oh, I need mono. Fuck.
You want to kiss after this? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's how it works, but sure.
Yeah. No, but it sucked.
I mean, i was dropping a ton of weight and um they're like you literally just the doctors were like you gotta keep on weight however you can so i was eating burgers fry like i was eating five guys a ton and because nothing really sounded good right um i was drinking a ton of milkshakes um not milkshakes protein shakes and maybe milkshakes Yeah. From five guys.
But yeah, no, it was just brutal.

Because it was like I was, you know, I ended up keeping my weight on. I was like 220, 225, but it was just not good.
Right. Right.
And then I came back that season and, you know, I just didn't feel great the rest of the year, and it was just kind of brutal, honestly. How did you find out that you had it? Like for a while were you just like i'm i'm tired i'm out of shape did you think that it was just like your body being out of shape no so it's actually crazy so week one we played buffalo um in new york and i wake up that sunday and that's when i first felt sick and played the game played decent, didn't play great, but we had a chance to win.
Josh ended up driving it down and beating us. But, you know, I just remember after the game sitting in my apartment like, dang, I don't feel right, and went in that next day on Monday and felt sick as a dog and thought maybe, you know, got some medicine, did whatever I need to do with doctors.
And I went home the next day, woke up Tuesday and I was just like, something's wrong with me. So they were like, all right, let's go get your blood work done and just rule out mono.
That's how they said it. Let's rule out mono.
And sure enough, got it back and got the phone call from Gase. Yeah.
He's like, yeah, you're going to be out for a few weeks. And when you come back, hyperdrive.
Yeah, exactly. No, it was brutal.
This is such a – it's so funny whenever we talk to athletes and, like, the things we remember versus, like, your job being like, what about hyperdrive? And you're like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Hyperdrive never.
Yeah. You just sent it to the media.
Yeah. This is like hyper Yeah.
I think this might be the first time I'm hearing about it.

Maybe the second, obviously.

So that was his problem. Yeah, you weren't in Hyperdrive.

Yeah.

I wasn't.

He didn't prepare his team for Hyperdrive.

Yeah.

I mean, I remember, you know, having a conversation about, you know,

going more to our basic stuff and going a little bit more high tempo.

Maybe that's what he meant by that.

Yeah.

He needs to clearly say Hyperdrive. Activated.
There's a button that every coach has. Yeah.
And he pushed it. You didn't know.
Yeah. Exactly.
Do you think you got your swagger back a little bit? Because I do. I think it was somewhere around week 14, 15 last year where I was like, I'm believing in Sam Darnold.
I said that on the show. I was like, I think I'm ready.
Let's go. Yeah.
I mean, you know, I think, I think for sure, you know, being in Carolina, I think just getting away from New York and going into Carolina, you know, having honestly, you know, 2021 two years ago, I had a good start to the season and then middle hit, you know, hit a lull. But I felt, you know, just that first little little start to Carolina, that 2021 season, I felt really good.
And then got hurt and some things happened and the whole season kind of fell apart. And then I was ready to go.
I really liked, we hired McAdoo at the end of 2021. And I was really pumped up about being in his system because it was West Coast ish.
And I hadn't really been in a West Coast system since my rookie year. And so I was just really excited to learn his system.
And once I got it in OTAs and we kind of ran it, I was really pumped. You know, we were doing a lot of on the ball stuff, kind of what Eli was doing when McAdoo was the OC, I think,

in New York, when they had, when they had a couple of good years, um, with, with OBJ making the one handed catch and stuff. Um, that was McAdoo calling plays and, um, they were going no huddle.
So I was excited about that. Um, but yeah, so I was, I was excited and then Baker gets traded there and you know, I ended up hurting my ankle, grade three ankle sprain the last preseason game against Buffalo.
Josh is really bad luck actually. I just know.
Yeah. No, but so hurt my ankle and then I was, I like, couldn't do anything for like eight weeks.
And then came back later in the season and felt good, man. You know, I felt really good running that system.
And, you know, kind of, like I said in the beginning, we had a really good run game and I felt like that really helped. You guys were winning games too.
We were winning games and, you know, Tampa wasn't doing very well, so we had a chance at the end. You know, I think we were up 24-10 going in the fourth quarter against Tampa, and if we beat them and then beat New Orleans week 18, we would have gone to the playoffs.
Right. It was Mike Evans.
It would have been crazy, and I probably would still be in Carolina if that happened. And then, sure enough, Mike and Tom go off in the fourth quarter.
And, you know, that was kind of it for our season. About McAdoo, does he maintain the same look all year round? Or does he come in with his hair slicked back occasionally? So he never, like, fully slicked it back.
He never had the pomade in. Yeah.
But he would, like, he would work out every morning. Dude was jacked.
Like, jacked like, and he's got really short arms and short legs. So he would deadlift a ton and bench press a ton at like five 30 in the morning, every morning.
And, uh, he would come in some days and his back would hurt. I'm like, Oh coach, I wonder where, you know, why your back's hurting.
No idea, man. Cause he probably had been deadlifting four times a week.
Yeah. He's getting the growth hormone active in his body.
Yeah, and it's like 400 pounds. Jesus.
No, he's a beast. But he would come in and he would have just showered, so it would be slicked back sometimes.
But he didn't put anything in it, so it would just fall apart halfway through the meeting. But no, McAdoo's a stud, man.
He's a good dude. Yeah, and he wears his dad's suits, which was cool.
Yeah, does he? Well, his press conference when he was the Giants head coach, he was wearing a suit that was like five times too big, and it was just a very funny visual. Yeah.
No, getting to know the guy over this past year, he's not a suit guy. Yeah, not a suit guy, right.
There's some football guys, it's like whatever you want to do, like if you put them in a suit, they're going to look weird he's definitely that um what about other football coach greg williams yeah is he zero blitzing you in practice all the time yeah you know he would go off script a couple times you know because uh him and gase you know would go at it uh you know in training camp just trying to you know mix it up on each other because obviously gase being the head coach he would, you know, script some things during practice to get the right look and get, you know, get it dialed in. And so whenever Gase would highlight whatever, you know, run cover three or cover two here.
And sometimes Greg would just, you know, kind of fuck with him every now and then. And, you know, go cover zero on the play where we wanted to get a good play action, fake, go over the top, and get a nice little high backer and he would bring zero he's like just like dude it's in in the game it's like you know second and six and we're gonna run a play action try to go over the top like you're not gonna run cover zero that's dr he would he probably would yeah yeah yeah he did it you know last last play of the season or uh last play of the game against the raiders which wasn't great.
No, that was not great. That's Dr.
Heat. That's what he does.
That's what he does, man. You can't take the good with the bad with him.
He's always going to be Heat. 100%.
Yeah, that's true. It's a good way to look at it.
I like to play a fun game called Games That I Gambled On and Lost, but it was actually worse for you. The USC-Ohio State uh bowl game oh taking it way back yeah you got sacked eight times in that game i did bet on usc how much did that suck for you it sucked for me but how much did it suck for you yeah how much did you put on it it was a good amount it was a good amount couple grand and usc was not couple grand yeah and it wasn't it wasn't fun i really believed in you guys uh couple grand i mean shoot that was probably worse for you A couple grand.
Yeah. And it wasn't fun.
I really believed in you guys. A couple grand.
I mean, shoot. That was probably worse for you, it sounds like.
Okay. You got sacked eight times.
Getting sacked by Nick and some of those beasts that were up front at Ohio State. I don't know.
But a couple grand, man. Yeah.
It hurt. It hurt all along.
And I was actually at my buddy's house, and he had just switched to streaming. So it was early streaming.
So it was always just a little bit behind. And so it would be like the TV would freeze, and then you'd just be sacked again.
And I was just like, what the fuck is happening? I'm just on the ground. Yeah, it's like, how did that happen? That's great.
Yeah, that was one of those games that you could just tell right away, like, they can't block. And when you're in that game and you know that, you're just like, this is the ball out yeah yeah that's when the gunsling that's when you just gotta you know take your one-on-one matchup and and uh give them a chance yeah uh yeah but it wasn't you did have a great career at USC was it I mean dumb question how sick was it to be the star quarterback for USC it was fun man it was fun able to, you know, uh, I think the best thing, and a lot of people don't maybe don't realize this, like USC is not in a great area.
It's in South central LA. Um, so we have, we have like our one bar that we would go to.
Um, but everything else is we would go to frat houses. We would go to, you know, people's, um, you know, whatever it was, just a house.
We we would throw like house parties but we weren't like out in LA we weren't in downtown or you know hitting up any of the clubs in in Hollywood you know right um so that was really fun because it was it was a real college experience and to you know be be good at the same time and be winning ball games uh it's pretty fun it really is it's like the top like when you think of like what would you want to be if you could pick like any position

any school it's like star quarterback yeah i feel like this is something you guys have probably

talked about yeah i think you're up there like that's got to be kentucky derby winning horse

would be pretty good future prospects are pretty easy at that point like a sick point card at unc

maybe but that was good yeah yeah but yeah usc usc quarterback is there like a group chat that you're on um yeah like carlson palmer no but i am like pretty close with with most of the guys um most of the recent quarterbacks yeah um so and kill will pretty damn good who's that caleb yeah he Yeah. He's a beast, man.
He's really good.

Yeah.

Are you worried, though, USC having to play in the Big Ten?

You guys kind of play a pussy brand of football?

That would be – sure.

You ever been to Piscataway on a Friday night?

Yeah, you want to go to play West Lafayette? I was actually thinking about, like, yeah, it's got to suck for a football team. But I was thinking about basketball and women's volleyball, like having to travel all those games that far for that many games.
I feel like that would be tough. Yeah.
I'm happy USC and UCLA are in the Big Ten, but it does kind of like – I liked watching Pac-12. It was fun when USC plays Arizona.
Was it fun? Did you fun did you even watch the pac-12 yeah all the time well actually i mean you guys found a way to make it so that no one could watch the pac-12 uh whatever his name is larry whatever pac-12 commissioner yeah just bad move after bad move but i love pac-12 yeah i mean yeah that was how i grew up watching usc man yeah you know, but. Were you originally recruited to be a linebacker at USC? So I played linebacker and receiver my sophomore year of high school.
But that was, you know, we had a senior quarterback who had kind of been waiting his turn to play. And I wanted to play varsity football.
So the only way to get on the field was to play receiver and linebacker. True football guy.
Yeah, just a, you know, ball, you know, love ball. No, but it was great, man, just to have that experience.
And then there were actually some seniors that were getting recruited, some offensive linemen that were getting recruited, and Coach Ogeron comes out there. He's got his old little, you know, camera out and, like, his flip camera or whatever it was.
And he's, like, recording the guys going through bags and stuff. And, like, this is literally just, like, blindside.
Yeah. This is, like, them, you know, him getting recruited.
And then all of a sudden, like, we start doing linebacker drills, and we didn't have a linebacker that would get recruited to USC at the time. And he starts filming.'m like what the fuck is he doing and then he just starts filming me as I'm going through the bags and I'm like what the heck is going on dude um so that was that was a pretty crazy experience for for him to and then he came up to my coach afterwards I didn't say or talk to him at all um but he went up to my coach and was like hey like we think this kid has a chance like you know because i was a sophomore at the time and he saw something um but yeah that's crazy yeah that senior quarterback ended up getting hurt um broke his collarbone in like the you know third to last game and so i ended up going in the last couple games like two and a half games and uh started my junior year and uh started my senior year that actually shows like if you hadn't if you hadn't been playing linebacker probably wouldn't have gotten that spot right at the end of the season yeah to get in a quarterback yeah no 100 you want to play varsity ball that's awesome yeah i probably would have been playing jv or something you know would have just been the backup and who knows if i would have been in good enough shape to to run around and do some of the things that I did at quarterback.
Yeah. How far do you think you could throw a football? Good question.
That's a good question. Thank you.
I would say probably like 65, 70. Yeah.
That's pretty decent. That's pretty far.
Yeah. Yeah.
What about a Vortex football? On a good day. 65, 70.
You know those Vortex footballs? Like the Nerf? The ones with the big tail on them. Like the Nerf ones? Yeah.
Yeah. How far do you think you could throw one of those bad boys? Probably like 120 yards? I don't know, man.
120? Yeah, I bet you could. Yeah.
They got the tail. They spiral in the wind.
It's the best toy ever. Yeah.
You just throw it up and it just keeps going. Yeah, it's awesome.
Yeah. I don't know.
Probably 121 yards or something like that all right well josh you're good friends with josh our best friend um when he lets it rip

i was actually texting him before this and did he give you any advice yeah he didn't tell me to say

hi to you guys or anything oh that's funny he probably because we probably we call him every

morning so oh he probably was like we already said hi yeah well you got a new phone did you

he got a new phone a while ago yeah you i have that yeah yeah uh it's josh allen new

Thank you. So he probably was like, we already said hi.
Yeah. Well, you got a new phone.
Did you? He got a new phone a while ago.

Yeah.

I have that.

Yeah.

It's Josh Allen new in our phone.

You don't know.

Sometimes I call the old one too, just for fun, for nostalgia.

You don't like we have Josh Allen's phone number.

Oh, are we, are we doing it?

No, no, no.

No, I have new.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

You made me like do a double pick.

I'm like, wait, the fuck?

I have a serious. Josh said hi.
I have a serious question, if that's okay. You made me do a double pick.
I'm like, wait, the fuck? Josh said hi. I have a serious question, if that's okay.
It's okay. That's fine.
Your grandfather has the best name of all time, or had the best name of all time, respectfully. Yeah.
Dick Hammer. Yep.
When did you first realize what an awesome name that was? Probably high school. Yeah.
Sophomore, junior year of high school yeah i don't even knew you know i didn't i didn't even really put it together until then to be honest he was just cramp grancy to me uh but yeah pretty epic name you know his story too and yeah he was a legend right yeah one of the four original marlboro men uh he was um captain of a you know firefighting squad in LA um he went to the 1964 Olympics played volleyball um played volleyball and basketball at USC as well um he's like a true American hero yeah man's man yeah I didn't even know him too he died in 99 so I don't even know if he's if it's real hero. Yeah.
Man's man. Yeah.
I didn't even know him too. He died in 99.

So I don't even know if he's, if it's real, you know, to be honest.

No, it's, it's very, I never heard the stories from him.

Yeah.

It's very real.

And his name is Dick Hammer on top of all that.

What a bad.

Unbelievable.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

That's got to give you tons of street cred.

Dick Hammer.

Yeah.

Um, all right.

Last question.

Rowback question.

This has been awesome.

Uh, RHOBACK.com. Use promo code.
Take 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, all of it, Roback.com.
All right, so Sam, this has been awesome. You're here at Tight End U.
Are you the only quarterback here? No. Okay.
No, there's a few others. But you've got to be like, everyone's going to kind of love you around here because it's a bunch of tight ends and you get to get them the ball.
Yeah, exactly. I get to feed all of them for the next couple days.
Are you learning stuff here too? Or are you just like throw the ball, throw the ball? Of course. Yeah, no, just to be able to hear these guys because we spend so much time in the quarterback room, obviously, and with the offense we're not usually, you know, with the tight ends talking about technique or how they're going to separate one-on-one.

Or, you know, if it's zone and you got a, you know, a little, you know, in-cut, like if they want to throttle down or anything like that.

So, like, to be able to hear them kind of talk about football that way is going to be really cool for me.

You know, to be able to hear that and hear what they're thinking a little bit.

What about getting you out running a few routes?

I saw that Thursday night game.

I remember how fast routes.

I saw Sam's face.

He's like, did this dude just say routes?

I remember how fast you are.

You can say it however you want.

You're a great route runner.

I love watching the routes.

But yeah, I remember

you're sneaky fast. Yeah, I probably won't be running any routes or routes.
Yeah, definitely won't be running any routes. But no, probably not going to run any routes.
You're back. I might, who knows.
You're back. Are you back? I'm back in on Sam Darnold.
I think you're back. 100%.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you guys want to say that, sure.
No, I'm saying

it right now. I'm not going to be a little headline.

Okay, Sam Darnold's back.

I said it. Big Cat.

Big Cat said it. How about this?

Are you feeling the healthiest that you have in years?

I feel really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel really good, healthy, ready to roll.

That's a good headline right there. I always love that.

Healthiest I've felt in years. Do you feel a little

bit bad you didn't get the ball faster against Ohio State? A little bit? Yeah. That one sucked.
Not as bad as he. All right, Sam.
Thanks so much. Thanks, guys.
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It's a good Mount Rushmore. There's a lot of meat on this bone.
It is a good Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of best pisses.
How many times do you think you've pissed in your life? Like five a day? I'm like eight a day. Ten a day.
Body armor water. Ten a day? I'm sorry.
That's a callback to the beers when everyone thought that meant I drank ten beers a day. Yeah.
I think just off the top of my head, I'd say ten million peas. Yeah.
I probably pissed ten million times. It's been a lot.
That would have been a good stat. Yeah.
It was actually funny before we started this one. Longest piss in your life.
Oh. We said we're going to do the Mount the mountain rushmore peas and ink i think for a second was like you mean like green peas like the letter like black eyed peas yeah i thought it was like things with things with the letter p i have a i have a crazy uh piss stat okay every single water molecule on earth has passed through a dinosaur's piss okay that's not true that's right it's like that stat where it's like you're no every time you take a piss you're pissing out hitler's blood yeah how is that possible billy i just saw it okay so it's not so you've been googling yeah you googled best pisses no no i want to know what videos those turned up no i haven't been googling i just remembered i just remember that stat how is that possible though there was water because it was it's been millions of billions of years where dinosaurs were like alive and they drank so much water during that time that it passed they drank all the water they at least at least passed through one dinosaur system all the water on earth was drank by at least one dinosaur yes Yes.
I don't... That...

Okay.

It's insane.

I saw it.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is insane.

Let me pull it up.

Let me figure that out.

That seems like one of those

Neil deGrasse Tyson stats

that he just...

Yeah, do you know how big

the ocean is?

Farts out of his brain.

Yeah, they're not drinking salt water, right?

I guess, yeah.

All right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Hank and Max. Yeah, he confirmed.
He Googled the exact thing and it came up. Hank and Max.
No, we're first. Billy and Jake.
That's correct, right? Billy and Jake. Yes.
Billy and Jake, Hank and Max, me and PFT. Okay.
Here we go. 1-1.
Billy and I agreed on this. It's rare.
Drunk at the bar piss. Okay.
Okay. All right.
Good. Good.
Waiting in line. Long line.
Crowded bar. You've had a couple beers.
That graphic says drunk at the bar piss. Yeah.
Not waiting in line piss. Yeah.
Oh. Yeah.
That's drunk at the bar piss. That's drunk at the bar piss.
Being drunk at a bar and taking a piss. Yeah.
I still feel confident in it. I'll say this, not to denigrate.
We're not denigrating. Go ahead.
We're not denigrating picks. Yeah.
But we didn't have that on our list. No way.
Nope. No way.
You're lying. You're lying.
No, we did not. We didn't have it on our list.
We have 14 deep lists. We did not have that on our list.
Learn out the ones voting. It's a good pick.
It's a pick. I'm actually surprised.
We've had some bad picks. I didn't think this was...
Oh, it's not bad. Yeah, it's a good pick.
I think we should wait. Yeah.
All right. Okay.
We are going to go with piss after a long Uber ride. Okay, that's a good one.
So you're stuck in an Uber for a long time. You don't want to ask them to pull over.
You're trying not to throw up. You're trying not to piss.
You think, oh, I can hold it. And then you're just basically sitting with your legs crossed for 20 minutes.
It is good. And you're wondering the whole time, am I going to make it? Because if you're in your friend's car, you're just like pissing in a cup or pissing whatever you're pulling over.
But if you're in an Uber, you just have to wait. Yeah, that's a good pick.
Big Cat, I think we go with number two on this list i think we'll one two okay two picks all right you you go one i'll go two all right uh our first pick is going to be uh after a movie piss the best piss you know you get that big the big soda you don't want to get up you don't get you don't go take a piss after getting out of a movie theater dude i pee during movies yeah oh i never you know how You big those sodas are? Yeah, your bladder's expanded. Oh, that's crazy.
No, because if you're... The best pisses are...
And I'm not going to denigrate, but the best pisses are when you can't control the situation. Right, like leaving a movie to miss the plot.
Yeah, you can leave a movie. No, you can't.
No problem. That's crazy.
You don't do it all the time. That's crazy.
How many times do you watch movies and you're looking at your phone and then you look back and you're like, oh, shit. That's it.
That's right. Like you stop paying attention.
Going to the movie. Yeah.
And you don't think my phone while I'm at a movie theater. And then when you drink your entire soda, have your popcorn, you walk out.
It feels great. It is.
Oh, OK. All right.
You guys pissed at movies? That's crazy. That's not on our list.
Okay.

Okay.

This one shouldn't have slipped.

This is insane that you guys didn't take this already.

Peeing in the snow.

Pissing in the snow.

Writing your name in the snow.

Rocks.

Watching it melt.

You find a little piece of ice.

Not only dogs do that.

Only dogs do that?

I've never done that.

Okay.

I grew up in Florida.

I grew up in Florida.

I didn't know that was a thing for humans.

Being in a snow was on our list.

It's even better when it's really cold and your

piss looks like it's heating up.

I actually used

to commit graffiti around campus

by peeing my name into snow banks

and it got to the point where I got in trouble for it.

I have multiple pictures of my name

in... Actually, I shouldn't say this.

How'd they know it was you? I wrote my name. Oh okay that sounds badass wasn't it you just writing the college's name? Well it was so god damn cold that it just stayed frozen.
Got it alright our second pick is going to be in your pants in a bathroom with Mark Schlaireth. Okay.
All right. Oh.
A little pander pick. Great piss.
Piss dogs. Yeah.
Okay. Very fun.
Very funny. Yeah.
That's fun. All-time piss.
So this are. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
Yeah. Two, three.
You went hard on the pander on round two. Yeah.
Oh, okay. Great.

All right.

To wrap up the second round,

we're going to do the piss that passes

the drug test.

That is a good pick.

Good pick.

That's a good pick.

That was all Billy.

That was all Billy.

Good pick.

Billy, why would you pick that?

That's a good pick.

I like how Jason said that.

Okay.

Good pick.

Good pick.

We're going to go with our, yeah, number three. Right there.
Just read it. I know.
He doesn't want to read it. Don't change it.
He doesn't want to read it. He looked away from it when you pointed at it.
Pissed during a long road trip. Okay, okay.
But is that in the car or out Out There's two different things

Like at a rest stop

Okay

Alright

Okay

Like what do you guys want us to write on the graphic

No no that's fine

At a rest stop

They're talking about our five

Yeah

Rest stop piss

It's a rest stop piss

That's fine

Okay so piss at a rest stop

Yeah

No no no

Road trip

We'd like it road trip

Road trip rest stop piss

Yeah

This is

We can do that

Just the worst version of ours

But okay

Yeah

Not really

Yeah no you guys

You said a long Uber

You're just a long car ride

Thank you. rest stop piss yeah this is we can do that the worst version of ours but okay yeah not really yeah no you guys are long uber you're just a long car ride no but but you stop you take a break you have you ever driven for like no you guys just love taking different variations of our picks what are you talking about an uber's only tops like 40 minutes max stopped a road trip piss is like three hours you just did a pick of a moment that you were hitting like 183 at Hofstra when it happened.
I didn't make that pick.

Okay.

I hit 213.

Sorry, that was mean.

Because that is sick that you actually played college baseball.

Three home runs?

Like, yo, I'm being honest.

That's sick.

Now you're paying attention.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm not.

What do you call yourself? The stares of the caa rules yeah hate pandering pander pander pics are whack uh our next pick is going to be in the serious studio standing next to ed sheeran okay very good so basically basically stealing our lives you guys just want to be us you're stealing our lives It's like when Jay Peterman took off Framer's stories. I mean, that's the most talked about piss in the history of this podcast.
You guys are trying to get everyone to vote for us. Those are iconic pisses.
Those are some of the best pisses I could ever think of. They're good pisses.
They're both good pisses, but not your stories. Yeah.
Not your Cirque, not your Monk. You guys, one of them is a video.
Everyone's seen everyone's seen it everyone loves pissed dogs and one of them you've talked about every other podcast for seven years so whatever iconic pisses okay fine all right pft we have our whole board stop sweating us so hard you guys sweat us you know that yeah you do uh okay i'll go one and then you just pick whatever you want because I love our whole list.

Okay.

This one shouldn't have lasted this long either.

The shower piss.

Yep.

The shower piss is elite.

Hank and I had a debate about this.

Why?

I'm not a shower piss guy.

What?

What?

I was like. How do you clean your feet?

What do you fucking mean you're not a shower piss guy?

No, no, no.

I'm down to go against my partner here.

We were outside and I was like.

Wait a minute.

I don't know what to say. He said, how do you clean your feet?

That's hilarious.

That's how you're supposed to get all the fungus out.

But I was like, oh, shower piss, shower piss.

He's like, what?

I'm like, what do you mean?

What are you talking about?

Shower pisses are so gross.

How can you not pee in the shower?

It's like automatic that I pee in the shower.

I'll hold a piss to go in the shower.

For sure. The water hits you.
Even if you just pissed, you have to pee again in the shower it's like automatic that i'll hold the piss to go in the shower for sure the water hits you you have to even if you just pissed you have to pee again in the shower it's also kind of badass when you're like a little dehydrated and your piss is like yellow in the shower it's like cool different colors yeah uh moise salue used to piss on his own hands that's tough i shit before shower piss during yeah before shower piss during shower if you if you like doing that take b vitamins i think your piss turns electric on our list that one might be just an honorable mention but okay um yeah yeah i can't believe you don't pee in the shower i so pft if you want to do last one i like it but i also i also think uh six seven is is six seven is good yeah or sorry not the last one second to last one let me see let me see let me see okay yeah i think that's a good one yeah yeah all right our last pick we're gonna take peeing onto a smoldering fire a fire that's going out putting out the fire

that's a great pick i know you know that rules billy you can't fight against it because you

love it one of the first going camping you got your own fire hose yeah just being like oh i'll

put it out oh it's so cool it is good one of the first memes i ever saw was like a kid pissing with

like your favorite team and then pissing on his rivals's logos. Have you guys seen that one? Calvin and Hawks.
Yeah. Oh, sure.
Yeah. Calvin and Hawks.
I have a question. I've never done that.
I think it sounds sick. What does a hot piss smell like? You're outside, so it doesn't really smell bad.
It smells like burnt. Yeah, it smells great.
No. It smells like the end of the fire.
Calvin and Hawks. It it is an awesome, awesome.
Yeah, no, I can see that being sick. Smells like masculinity.
Calvin and Hobbes goaded. Especially if it's at night.
Yeah, it sounds like fajitas. Yeah, and it's like fire smoke smells great.
Good pick. We are going to go with our last pick in the ocean.
Okay, good pick. We were debating that.
We thought about that. We shower piss we think that's a better piss so we don't want to do too well no again again we're we're talking about all of your guys pisses are very controllable like you piss in the shower you could piss in the toilet you wait what is that but that you you're making it peeing peeing in the ocean you're at you're at the beach you don't have an option you can walk a million miles in the sand to go to a port-a-potty or you can just go go in the ocean.
No one takes a bad pit. Yeah, but you're confusing something right now.
You're basically saying it can only be a piss that you really have to do. Those are the best ones.
Okay, so explain to me peeing with Mark Schlereth. You had to go.
Everyone had to go. I was standing literally next to a toilet.
I could have peed in the toilet. But the video.
We were in the bathroom. It wouldn't have made the list if you had just gone to the toilet.
That's a lot closer than getting up and getting out of the movie. It would be a lot less than a toilet.
I could have peed in the toilet. We're in the bathroom.
It wouldn't have made the list

if you had just gone to the toilet.

That's a lot closer than, you know,

getting up and getting out of the movie.

It would be a lot less of iconic

if you just pissed in the toilet.

There's some holes in your arguments.

Not to denigrate.

Nope.

It's just...

I feel bad for women

that they don't get to do

most of these pisses.

All these are just dudes rock.

I mean, ocean, shower probably.

They get to do those. They can do.
But it'd be very dangerous for a woman to put out a fire with her piss. Wait, how could they do it in the shower? It just goes down their leg.
Yeah. I feel like they probably do do it in the shower.
Just open up a little bit. Do they just squat over the drain? No, I think they just go.
They just stand. It just falls out.
Whenever a woman stands up, all her piss falls out her vagina. Maybe this is why women go to the bathroom together because they don't get any other good pisses.
Yeah. So they just hang out.
Girls will be girls. Or they have to hold them above the toilet.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Last pick.
Some great honorable mentions. We have our top four.
We agreed on it. Wait, wait.
That means nothing. Yeah.
Because this one I thought was going to go. This one I thought was going to go so much earlier.
That's why I didn't bring it. put it higher No, no, no You guys get two Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Give us a shot Alright Pissing to get out of class Okay Puerto Rico Everyone's done that You get the bathroom pass Waste 10-15 minutes That's like you just Yeah, it's is.
Yeah. But everyone's done it.
It's relatable. Okay.
Which is why the middle of the night piss. Okay.
We're going with Jake's pick. What? The cousin of the middle of the night drink.
The middle of the night piss is more annoying. It's not really enjoyable.
Because when you wake up, you're like, oh, I have to get out of bed. Yeah, you're like, I have to piss.
This sucks. You try to close your eyes.
Getting out of class, it's like you can go 15 minutes for peeing for 30 seconds. You feel like a bitch when you have to piss in the middle of the night.
No, but then you wake up and you're like, oh, it's 3 a.m. I can sleep for another like three to I could see that.
Six hours. Yes.
And you're like, oh, I'm usually mad at myself when I have to piss in the middle of the night. You're mad that you have to get up and then you try to will yourself to go back to sleep and then you realize this is going to get worse before it gets better.
No, then you like check i like the i like the class one that that's that i mean everyone did like oh can i use the bathroom yeah and you're not going to the bathroom but sometimes you are we left a good one on the board well honorable mentions wiping off the the stains on a toilet bowl with your piss oh yeah like cleaning up the toilet with your pee yeah um this one is just a personal one but the sink piss is elite. I thought you were going to say that.
Yeah.

Well, one of our picks was yeah like pissing like if you have a side yard like coming home and not even like pissing outside before you get in like during a pool party yeah you don't want to go inside you're all muddy and

dirty one of our picks and i don't want to hear anyone who disagrees this but i piss in every

pool i've ever been in yep 100 yep really yes all the time jake a friend's house yes every

pool i've ever been in in my entire life every pool i pissed it's one thing if it's like a public

pool like a water park no it's the same it's already filled with dinosaur piss. There's a hot tub.
What's your thing? No. I piss in hot tubs.
No. Fuck yeah.
No, you don't piss in hot tubs. Yeah, I do, Billy.
No, the dilution is not there. I feel a little bit worse about doing it, but it's also so hot it makes you piss.
Sometimes I will get up, but I'm not going to sit here and say that I've never done it. I pee in hot tubs, I'd say, 60% of it.
Yeah, hot tubs are not. Now, I will make an effort.
If there's an acceptable place to pee that's nearby where you don't have to go inside, I will use that. Correct.
This is respectful. And you know what yes here's here's my difference actually i uh i don't think i ever pee in an indoor hot tub okay i can see how that makes sense it feels a little grosser yeah it's the ground yeah yeah i'm about that 50 60 hot tubs 101 in pools like i will i will stand not even getting in the pool and pissing the That's hot that's how much I like pissing in pools the thing is hot tubs will turn a different color if like not true that's not true that diet does not exist actually I pissed at a hot tub like last week when you listen to this when you listen to this you guys have all seen the dirty hot tubs tweet them at big cat pft okay cool go and clean hot tubs, and then I make them dirty.
Here's the thing is we are just saying what people are too afraid to admit. Correct.
And in fact, I think Billy P is in hot tubs. Yeah, he definitely does.
I think you're in denial. Well, that's why I look at them, and they're like, oh, it's dirty.
Yeah, so you do pee in hot tubs. Yeah, you do pee in hot tubs.
But I try not to. This is my point with pools.
Yeah, I don't go out of my way to pee in a hot tub. But if the situation presents itself to me, then I situation is in the hot tub this is this is my point with pools there's two types of people in the world people who piss in pools and liars that's it jake i don't want to hear you're a mutant i'm not okay but you agree i'm not in those categories yeah you're a mutant you've never done it jake well you did lie about your hole-in-one besides that that? Yes.
Jake, you've never done it?

Have I peed in a pool before?

Ever.

I don't think so, no. Oh, my gosh.

Definitely in the ocean.

You know, every swimmer does it.

I love peeing in pools.

Yes.

Like the Olympic-sized pools?

Yes.

Oh, definitely.

Every swimmer.

It's the best.

Also, after an airplane ride,

I know you can piss on an airplane,

but, I mean,

there's a reason why the urinals are packed right outside of a gate

yeah i had that on the if you're after an airplane ride when you're on the window yeah because you don't want to get up i also said that pissing on an airplane is probably mount rushmore of worse it's bad piss yeah just being in that bathroom buses buses is worse yes yes yes yes uh pissing in a bottle on a road trip and not having to stop.

We had pissing in a bottle.

Elite. Peeing off of any elevated surface.
Yep. And then watching it fall down.
Watching it fall down. It's always fun.
I had a dog pissing on a fire hydrant. Yeah.
Just a classic of the show. Hilarious.
Hilarious. Any long line, like at a sporting event? Like 15, 20 minutes? Yeah, that kind of sucks.
That's what you guys wanted to say for your first you the moment you got to the front yeah no that's good the um uh pissing in between cars at a football tailgate also awesome open up the doors yeah and you're just like because you've been drinking and you're just like i need to piss just stand there pissing pissing between subway cars i haven't done that exhilarating alley pisses that sounds. Alley pisses are great.
That's a great piss. Port-a-potty is one of the worst.
You find a nice dumpster to go behind in an alley so you're shielded. Oh, that's the best.
The first piss after an STI clears up. Yep.
Great piss. Also, golf course.
No pain. Golf course pisses.
Great piss. Outdoors.
Do you guys think peeing at a nice course is rude? No. I actually think the nicer the course, the more open it is to that.
There is no... Like, peeing outside just is...
It just is what it is. But I feel like if we're lucky enough to play Augusta one day, we wouldn't do that.
Dude, it's great because my is so young and he like is potty trained when he has to pee when we're outside I'll just let him

pee anywhere like on the street I don't give a fuck has anyone ever got a public urination

I have I have really as well yeah what happened college college happened yeah college do you get

fine or something like the cop was such a dick he came over he was laughing with me yeah he comes

over he shakes your hand it's always worth 200 bucks but then 75 mine was expensive I was such a dick. He came over.
He was laughing with me. Yeah, he comes over.
He shakes your hand. It's the only way for $200.
$75. Mine was expensive.
Mine was $200, I think. I think mine was $200, yeah.
Let's see. Did no one pick the morning piss? The morning piss is good.
That's crazy. That's a great piss.
Oh, yeah. Color check.
That's when it's exciting. Oh, yeah.
I'm hydrated. And you just feel great.
Or I'm not hydrated. Yeah.

Bad teammate.

Sneaky piss.

When you get away with pissing when you're really not supposed to.

When are you not supposed to piss?

In various of these situations.

Go on. Outside.

Like when no one notices that you're even pissing.

Oh, okay.

Because you're like doing it casual.

Okay.

Like there's something in front of you.

Like a winceinator piss?

Not pissing. Have you guys ever done a Zoom piss? Where they don't know that you're peeing on a zoom call? I've done that.
It's crazy. What a rush.
With your camera still on? Yeah. Camera still on.
Oh wow. It's like you're basically like that guy.
What's his name? Tubin. Yeah.
Jeffrey Tubin. You guys ever pissed while riding a bicycle? Cause I've been able to pull that off and I was sick.
Accidentally. Yeah.
Like, I've had it. I've had it.
You lock your legs. It's gotten squoze out of me.
Yeah. They probably do that during, like, the Iron Man, right? Are you still pedaling the bicycle? No, you lock your legs.
You just piss off to the side. Can't do it in the wind, obviously.
And you need to get a little bit of speed behind you. Yeah, you get it.
Yeah. In your pants or dick out? No, you get your dick out and just fucking go off to the side.
Is it a thing in other sports or just like rugby where you take a knee on the field and you just pull your dick to the side and pee on the field? No, you do that. Yeah.
That was just for sport. I did that at Lollapalooza one year.
The bike is just for sport, right? Yeah, I know. I just like pissing in random places I'm not supposed to.
Pools. You are supposed to piss in a pool.
I was trying to think of a situation where it would be convenient to pee on a bike. If you're in a bike race and they've never been in a bike race.
Yeah, no. That's losing stuff.
All right. I think we...
Oh, this is one that we totally missed. Ice in the urinal.
Yeah. That was kind of Jake's, yeah.
Brutal miss. Brutal miss.
That is when you get an ice and you're all... Also, I like...
This might be weird, but I liked the Wrigley Troughs. Because you just don't...
There's no... You don't have to aim or anything.
You just stand there and piss. It is a little weird because you are standing dick to dick with a bunch of dudes.
But there's also just no... It's just free reign.
Yeah. If you can squeeze in, you can make make it it's like a wide open receiver there's there's a concert venue in northern virginia that had one of those troughs except it was a circle bowl so you had to stand up oh yeah it was probably like 20 feet wide it was massive and you had to walk up to it and there were guys just on the other side of the bowl with their dick out peeing at you and you had to pee at them into this big ass it was like a bird bath yeah you're pissing into it sucked that might be the worst no that rocks like interior rocks but until you've been at one of those things at a poison concert when you're 17 years old and you've got probably 30 55 year old guys with their dicks out peeing right at you reality hits you hard and it's not that cool yeah yeah that i've i've seen those those are brutal because you're just yeah staring oh the pissing contest at a time it was fun what was the pissing contest who can see who can piss the sword fights yeah no no like like you're like out in the lake and you're trying to see who can piss the farthest oh yeah yeah sword fights are all fights.
Sword fights are also fun. Sword fights with the boys, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so I do it with my son. It's awesome.
Sword fight all the time. I fucking dominate them.
I like the urinals that touch the floor. Like, they're so tall, you literally just piss on the floor.
Yeah. Although those get a little splash back.
They can, yeah. Yeah, those get a little splash back.
That just doesn't mark the spot. Yeah.
I love pissing in pools. I want to piss in a pool right now.
Oh, my God. It's pool right now we should do a podcast from a pool yeah I just want to go into a pool just to piss and then get right out Jake you've never pissed in a pool no I was just thinking I tapped PFT on the shoulder I got a water park when I was younger I think there's a pool where we're staying yeah Jake you should do it see like that do it.
You want to piss in it? See, like, that's a nice hotel. Like, I would feel rude to do that.
So you'd feel better about doing it around poor people? Yeah. That's messed up, too.
I would do it in my own pool, like, if I were to do it for the first time. Because then, like, I'll upset my mom, but she'll get over it.
Now I want to get invited to your house just to piss in your pool. How would she know? That's the thing.
They never know. Yeah, you don't know.
You don't have to tell your mom. Right.
No, exactly. I would feel less guilty doing it to her than to a random stranger's pool.
Jake, I guarantee you, your mom pees in her pool. And shout out, by the way, whoever started the blue dye, like, rumor back in the day that just got kids to not piss in pools.
Like, oh, they put blue dye, so if you piss, it will... Has it ever happened? No, never.
Right. It's not not a real thing but they did a great job of scaring all the little kids child abuse yeah i powered through that mentally tough just peed anyway uh okay good mount rushmore everyone today's mount rushmore is brought to you by stella blue coffee amazon prime day is here help make stella blue coffee the number one coffee and cold brew on all of Amazon, 20% off Stella blue on Amazon, 20% off.
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It helps a lot. I told you guys we had a Monday reading,

and I tipped off memes,

and I wanted to make sure he was on the show today.

So memes, I want you to chime in whenever you feel necessary.

I'll jump around, but here's the Monday reading.

It has to be about memes, right?

Well, kind of.

It comes from Slate, and it's titled the reply guys who won repeatedly commenting on your crush's twitter posts is a terrible dating strategy until it isn't and it's an entire article about dudes that are reply guys who ended up dating the chicks they were replying to i gotta i i'm gonna read a couple snippets but this is literally the story i'm i'm actually upset they didn't use memes in this article because he was our reply guy that we ended up fucking um not actually i not actually just dry humping yeah right right right, so. All right, here it is.

All right.

Ariel, a 32-year-old flight attendant in Los Angeles, actually married one of her reply guys.

They recently celebrated her second wedding anniversary.

She remembers his replies to her tweets back when they were first talking as being a cut above.

It would just be like, it wouldn't just be like, you're hot.

The way he did it was so much more delicate and sweet and poetic and not like disgusting ariel's not her real name and then it talks to the reply guy who says ivan a 37 year old lawyer and ariel's husband started following his now wife in 2017 when a picture of her happened across his feed one fateful day i thought to myself this is the is the most beautiful face I've ever seen in my life. This is a guy online who sees a face online and says, wow, I need this.
He said with around 5,000 followers, she wasn't hugely famous or anything, but to Ivan who had 19 followers, that's a perfect reply guy number, by the way. Yep.
Like 19 followers. Probably followed 3,000 people.
Yes, it's perfect. But with 19 followers, she was way out of his league.
He hit follow, but he didn't interact with her for more than a year. I didn't even have the courage or self-confidence to even be a reply guy at that point.
So he was a reply guy in waiting. He was a lurker.
Yeah. Playing it cool.
Getting the entire landscape. Here's the best part.
But but after a while he started to notice a way he could differentiate himself every reply guy has had this epiphany by the way being like no she's gonna fuck me i would see under every post that she had all these dudes that were just like wow beautiful gorgeous ivan continued i was just like i don't want to do that she gets that so many times from all these people all over the country if he could show he wasn't like the rest of them he might have a shot this is a real article by the way uh an opportunity to break the silence finally arose in 2019 i posted something like uh this is from arielle i posted something like i had a bad day at work who wants to buy me a steak arielle. And so our first real interaction was on Venmo because he sent me $20 for a steak.
This is a very dangerous article. This is the worst.
It's giving so much hope to so many guys out there. They're just like, you know what? I just got to post harder.
I just haven't posted enough yet. Oh, my God.
Reply guys are finally winning. It's a whole whole article about reply guys just finding a way to reply their way into relationships with hot chicks online yeah memes do do you have a moment where you're like hey i think i think i might be in with these guys so my first tweet when i created the part of my meme account big cat retweeted it and i got a thousand followers instantly wow yeah so there so you got your reply you were just like boom it's it's on site yeah first sight i was like i think i got something here but remember what it was i think it was coach dougs on it was that photo that's in the studio of the guy on the water ski yeah with coach dougs photoshopped onto it oh man i uh here's one other guy sounds like a banger devin is a 32 year old journalist who is uh a following in the world of philadelphia sports twitter and last summer a guy named eric himself a known quantity in that scene to a degree, very publicly declared himself her reply guy.
He started tweeting about her and sending silly replies to posts of hers. I posted a photo of me and my friend at a Phillies game and was like, I want you to hit me with a baseball bat.
And now they're dating. That guy rocks.
Fucking the the best the best uh it was a bit but it also wasn't it became a community preoccupate preoccupation so many other people within philly sports twitter would kind of weigh in and even other guys and girls would be like it was so nice when eric saved my cat from a burning building. He got everyone helping him.
And he helped me and my grandma across the street. Corny stories that obviously aren't true.
Devin said, but it was just cute. It was like everyone kind of had his back and shipped us in a way.
So look at that. Hank would never do that.
Hank would never do that for his boy, Tom Brandy. Yes.
This is a whole article about reply guys finding a way in. So, dangerous pft i completely agree i i do want to hear i want to fast forward like 50 years from now 60 years from now when they have grandkids like how'd you meet how'd you guys end up meeting so well i told your i told your grandma that she was so hot that i wanted her to hit me in the face with a baseball bat.
Yeah. So I was actually her number one reply guy.
So it was pretty beautiful. It was a beautiful relationship from the start.
So, yeah, reply guys finally have a win. Well, I mean, let's go around the room real quick because I'm pretty sure that most people in this room have some sort of a reply guy situation that they found themselves in.
And, like, Big Cat, I know that you would reply to Russillo a lot.

Yeah, I reply guy to him trying to get him to lift with me.

I was a big reply guy for Florio, honestly.

Yep, and we have reply guys.

Shout out to FSU Brando.

Love that guy.

Love that guy.

Clue Haywood.

Yep, big reply guy.

I have another reply guy who I retweet sometimes.

I need to give a shout out to.

Bully football. Bully football.
He just bullies me after every tweet. That's literally all he does.
Yeah. He just like shits on me.
It's really funny. That sounds really fun.
Do you guys have any reply guys that you just like know and you're like, yeah, that's my guy. Oh, yeah.
This guy. I outlasted the kid that used to tweet us about getting.
Actually, never mind. I'm not going to say.
Oh, what? There was a reply guy, but I outlasted him. He was fighting for a response for like two years.
I'm sure you guys saw some of them. Will Hank ever get the lottery ball? No, no.
Before that. It was before that.
But he's dead. He gave up.
He actually died? I hope so. The moral of the story is that if you're a ply guy out there and you just comment on hot chicks pictures all the time, don't give up.
It's the meme where the guy's digging for diamonds and there's one guy that gives up and he's like an inch away from finding the diamond mine. The next post might be the one that does it.
Yeah. I mean, when we run the Greg Olson interview next week,

I have a funny story about my guy, VP of Big Cat Corp,

who was an original reply guy who is like part of my life now.

So I guess he should have been in this article as well.

He found his way into my life.

It's reply guys.

They win.

PFT is Miley responding?

No, but it is funny. When I tweet at Miley and like backs me up like they back up this one guy yeah yo yo thank you for for donating your lambo to my grandmother she's really sick and had a hard time getting to the hospital last week dude maybe you need to get like a photoshop picture of you uh in a phillies jersey and be like i just want you to hit me with a bat yeah no i don't know i might be over miley low-key oh no way she's too skinny i like i like kim kardashian type figures no hanks is not gonna like that so he'll talk you out of that no pft you can you go for kim k that'd be nice it'd be an upgrade for you i would not me me and me and kim k i would never work i just she would break me in half um just like when you're at the level that you're at with Tom, it's like it's almost impossible for him to upgrade.
No. Yeah.
No, you're right, Hank. If any of us were dating Kim K, that's great for us.
The true definition of a best friend is talking your friends out of having sex with insanely attractive women. How would you go crazy if you started dating Kim K? What do you think would happen? Hank? I don't know.
Yeah. That would be a power couple.
He would fall back into his old Franny Liden ways. That would be so awesome if Kim K dumped Hank because he golfed too much.
I just want a man around more. Hank, can you tell us who would be an acceptable person for Tom Brady to date? Good question.
Good question. I know what Hank, he wants a little class.
What about Sidney Sweeney? Too young? Too young. Okay.
What about? Shakira. Okay.
Shakira. She's married.
Kate Winslet? Yeahlet Yeah Yeah that's what you want You want the Yeah Like a A classy Anne Hathaway Meryl Streep Pippa Middleton Melissa McCarthy No He could date Kate He could date Kate Middleton Kate Middleton's Dua Lipa Dua Lipa yeah Taylor Swift Taylor Swift think about that think about that she would just nag him yeah bangers yeah um all right that's our show by the way take these are coming on Friday so everyone be on your best behavior like and subscribe tell everyone to subscribe go subscribe on some extra phones because uh takeies are coming friday and we want the awls to go for eight in a row but it might not happen so it's gonna i will say i appreciated a lot of a lot of awls were earning their takeies by reaching out and telling me how uh i kind of got screwed in dungeon and dragons all uh everything that happened at the end uh i should have benefited a lot more kills. So there was a lot.
It was an overwhelming amount of DMs and responses of people being like, hey, just so you know, Big Cat tried to screw you, but we got your back. So thank you.
I'm being award-winning listener. It sounds like they're being just Hank simps.
Yeah, they're Hank simps. They're corporate suits.
They're bootlickers. Can you stop clicking that thing? Max is asking you to stop clicking that thing.
I'm not me. There's something in your hand that you keep playing with, and it's making a sound.
Yeah. What is this? Fact or fiction, is there something in your right hand right now? Show your hand.
Guess what it is. Oh, it's something gold-related.
Yeah. Fuck you.
Fuck you. All right.
Jesus Christ. PFT.
How was the fourth, though? It was good. Numbers? 6-9.
I won. I won.
That was nice. That was nice.
He was all on me. He's too close to me right now.
I was also distracted. I'm watching the end of this USA Canada game.
Yeah, that's all right. More concerned with soccer.
Okay. I'll go 17.
i'm gonna go 48 for the size of kim kardashian's ass last thing forgot forgot uh if this is gonna be a weird thing to say but just trust me that we have good intentions if you live anywhere between buffalo and detroit and have a big piece of land that you wouldn't mind the boys coming over to and building a really big hole hit us up pmt intern at barstool sports.com we want to fucking dig dig a hole we have excavating experience no we don't yeah uh but yes so we want someone who's willing to let us build. Let's just say three hours of hole digging and we'll leave it at that.
But yeah, only real inquiries, please. This is not going to go well.
There's no way this is going to go. We're going to show up to like some dudes like a fucking apartment complex.
Yeah, we need to see the deed to your house. Yeah, deed to your house, pictures.
You in front of the picture with your phone out and the time stamp. And a dig safe report.
And a dig safe report. Oh, yeah, that's a good point, Billy.
Yeah, excavating. But also it would be kind of funny if there wasn't a dig safe report.
Or, yeah, if you own a beach. Yeah, bonus points if you think maybe there's some oil on your property.

I still think we should do East Palestine and help get rid of some of that

toxic dirt there.

It's on the list.

It's on the list.

All right.

One.

Memes, have you ever gotten this?

No.

One.

Okay.

What was your numbers, PFT, Hank?

48.

Hank?

26.

Okay.

Martin St. Louis.

64.

Jesus Christ.

64 and 64.

Love you guys.

Hide for the lead.

Hummingbirds have eggs the size of peas.

I'm fine. for your lover, okay? I'll be coming for your lover, okay?

You've been so good to me Give you anything

You've been so good to me

Your love inside of me

Take on me

Take on me Take on me Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Take me me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Leave us today.
I'll sit here. It's about me.
So let I wait. It's not a man in my mind.
It's okay. Say it to me.
It's better to be safe than sorry. Say it to me.
It's better to be safe than sorry. Queen of the Sea Bye.
Thank you. Take me on me.
I don't think I'm here. I don't think I'm here.

I don't think I'm here.