Joey Chestnut, NBA Free Agency, Mt Rushmore Of MLB Names + Our Dingers Only Baseball Draft

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have maybe the best slash worst show we've ever done. We have our baseball draft.
We've been teasing it for a while. We're going to do a regular show to start, so we're going to talk some NBA free agency, Fowler who's back of the week some more current events and then we have Joey Chestnut getting ready for the 4th of July the greatest athlete ever created and Mount Rushmore baseball names and then we go to our baseball draft where yeah it's two hours of dudes just naming names I love love this fantasy baseball league that we've created.
It's called Dingers Only. It's going to be fucking awesome.
Do we have merch? We should have merch. Maybe we forgot merch.
We're going to get merch for the Dingers Only League, but it's going to be an interesting show. It's going to be a different show.
I'm excited for everyone to listen to it. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working?

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No place to hang out or wash in, and then I can't blame all on the sun.

Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher oh we gonna rock down to it's part of my take presented by bar sports welcome to part of my take today is monday july 3rd and pft we should have been nba players because holy shit they're getting paid and it is awesome yeah it

really is like some of the names that are getting these huge huge deals it just you scratch your

head but then you're like oh yeah they actually have to spend that money um i don't want to call

michael malone a liar when he said that we're running this shit back with bruce brown i think

he said at the parade like damn right bruce is coming back we're running this shit back

anything you say at a championship parade should be that that's client, patient, confidentiality. You can't hold that against anybody.
You're drunk at a parade. You're going to say what you want.
And, yeah, good for him. I think he got like $40 million, and the Nuggets could only offer him like $8 million a year.
So they tried to keep him, Big Cat. They tried to keep Bruce Brown.
I mean, we said this right after they won the title.

Cause remember Bruce Brown was the one who said it.

And we're like,

you know,

when the worst time to negotiate a new deal is,

is like seconds after you win a title with your boys and you're drenched in

champagne because Bruce Brown,

the night he won a title said,

I want to stay.

It's a perfect fit.

And money is not everything.

The money will come.

So I'm not worried about that right now. I don't hold that against him whatsoever because $45 million is a lot more money than $8 million a year.
Yeah, yeah. No, he said all the right things, but at the end of the day, when you're looking at $45 million next to $16 million, you'd have to be a fucking moron not to take the $45.
So congratulations to him. The biggest loser in free agency is Jeremy Grant.
Jeremy Grant got $150 million to return to the trio Blazers. Now on paper, you're like, wow, that's a great deal.
But the contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Dame. He was like, this is what we're doing in free agency? We're resigning Jeremy Grant yeah fuck you guys i'm out and now dame lillard is in a so i said i was gonna do it and uh i did it right away i was like dame no loyalty left in the nba like can't believe he would do this people reacted accordingly very upset at me uh but the the interesting thing with dame right now is he wants to to the Heat, and the Heat don't have the best offer.
And now you have Blazers and Heat fans arguing online where Heat fans can basically be like, well, no, we want him and he's going to be ours. And there's nothing you can do about it.
And the Blazers being like, wait, we can't get any free agents no matter what. So we have to get like a ton of draft picks and that will just be a showdown for the next month.
It feels like who, like, can the Blazers actually get a good deal or do they just have to be like the, the, the theory that the Blazers should treat Dame correctly so that they could get future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world. They're not going to get future free agents.
They should get whatever they can get because as good as Dame was for them, he's the best blazer of all time. Incredibly loyal.
Seems like a great dude. You can't just be like, oh, because you were a great dude, we'll just take Tyler Hero and call it even.
Yeah. Those are my favorite people online.
The ones who were like, well, why would anybody ever sign with Portland after watching what they're going to do to Dame if they don't send him to the place that he wants? That's a good point. It's a great point.
And we'll follow that away in the future. When they don't get good free agents, it's because of how they treated Dame.
And it has nothing to do with the franchise, nothing to do with the fact that people don't want to play in Portland. It's just straight up how they're going to treat Dame.
They really have no leverage. Dame doesn't really have any leverage in this situation.
He's just saying, I would like for the heat can we just make that happen and i guess like if he has he has done a lot for that organization and so they might just try to do him a solid and be like okay here we go but like if you're a gm your job is not to treat players that have requested trades away from you as good as possible your job is to try to try to basketball games in the future. And if that's going to be to the heat, whatever, maybe they'll trade them.
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they'll trade them somewhere else.
And then maybe it's a three-way trade. And not only that, it's not even shitting on Portland because I think outside of like four or five franchises in the NBA, there's not a lot of franchises that are like destinations for free agents.

That's just how the league works. It's not like there's a lot of cities in the NBA that guys aren't being like lining up to go to.
I mean, I fell for it when I thought LeBron and D-Wade were going to go to Chicago. It's like, well, that was fucking stupid.
But yeah, the Blazers should do whatever is best for them. I have another biggest loser for you, PFT.
It's Kyrie Irving haters because Kyrie Irving, who has played sparingly for the better half of, like, what, three or four years going now, got paid three years $127 million to stay with the Mavericks. I don't think they were bidding against anyone except Luka Doncic's happiness.

Like, I think it was just,

we have to sign him because we traded for him and we have to do it now.

Otherwise we're not going to get another star and Luka might leave.

So the Kyrie Irving haters probably have to eat one here because he got a lot of money for not playing a lot the last few years.

And I think Kyrie's leverage was that he was,

he was going to take a visit to Phoenix.

He like wanted to drive to play for $2 million.

Yeah.

He wanted to drive to Phoenix. To play for $2 million.
Yeah, he wanted to get on an RV and go to a sweat lodge or have some peyote or something like that, go on a vision quest out in Phoenix, and that was enough to make Mark Cuban sweat and be like, we can't have him leave the state. We've got to keep him locked down.
So, yeah, he got paid a shitload of money. Fred Van Vliet, good for Fred Van Vliet.
Houston, doing something. Houston did a lot of things in free agency, and they did the most with Van Vliet.
I forget how much money they're paying him. It was about $200 million, somewhere in that vicinity.
Three for 128. Three for 128.
He's a culture setter. They're paying for the culture.
They're paying for the culture. So he's getting like super max money, but not just the, he's not getting five years.
He's going to have another bite of the apple soon, but good for him. I don't really understand it because they just drafted a point guard that is presumed.
Yeah. So he's going to, it's like paying culture, $123 million for Udonis Haslam if he was actually good.
So like, no, it's, it's an adult. an adult.
You're basically getting an adult in the room to be like, hey, this guy actually knows how to be a pro. We have a very young, talented team.
We'll pay him a lot of money to hopefully, you know, some of that young championship calorie, won a title in Toronto, rub off on everyone. I like that.
Yeah, he's just a role model. model.
They, they, they bought a role model and free agency for was it? Amen Thompson. So he's going to, yeah.
I mean, it's a good fit. And especially if you look at like Van Vliet and the money that he was making in Toronto, I don't know what state income taxes in Canada, probably pretty high.
Uh, he is going to be rich as fuck in Houston. So good for him.
Yeah these deals are awesome they they obviously the uh the meme goes around where you know they have like uh chris middleton signed for three years 102 million dollars and michael jordan made like 93 million dollars in his career which it actually if you take out the last two years with the bulls michael jordan in the other like 14 years of career made $30 million. So I love those memes.
I actually think we should go one further. I think Tyrese Halliburton and Lomelo both signed Supermaxes.
So it was five years up to $260 million. So you're going to get paid like $50 million a year.
Dan Marino's career earnings was $51. million john elway's was 45 million now it's obviously different sport different era everything but i think just for memes memes you're you're on this right now we need to just find like babe ruth's career earnings and be like look at this uh karis lavert is making like 16 times what babe ruth made his entire career.
Yeah. Just for the retweets.
Yeah, I like that. Or like compare them to like people in the military or teachers.
Yeah. Like the average teacher makes $37,000 a year, but Karis Levert is going to be set.
His grandkids' grandkids are going to be set for life. It's basically whenever someone does a tweet like 35 years ago diehard came out in theaters wow yeah time yes time is time keeps going money keeps going up time goes differently uh it's just a bunch of those memes back and forth about how much with these money these guys are making it is cool they're making so much money Like all – it's good for them, and I love it, and it is awesome to see some of these contracts come down, and you're just like, holy fuck, this guy's getting what? And fuck it.
I mean, Dante DiVincenzo just got, what, four years, 50 million for the Knicks? Like, why not? Why not? I think the moment that I realized that to be upset about any of this is so stupid was when tony snell a few years ago got paid like 44 million dollars over like three years or four years to be with the bucks and it was like cool fuck it you can't you can't get mad about that what are you gonna do like demand that the milwaukee bucks sign a bunch of teachers and firefighters no you you just got to get your game up. Like we should have been basketball players just going back to the beginning.
We should have like, if anything, this is a lesson to everyone out there listening. Like get your game up.
Don't be a podcaster like us. Be an NBA player like them.
Yeah. People who are like, how come the NFL players don't get this much money unless you're like a quarterback? Well, because there's more points in basketball, so you get paid by the points.

It's pretty simple math, guys.

And punt, pass, and kick is very expensive on the bottom line for NFL franchises.

Putting that on has to be a headache.

Yeah, but yeah, shout out to all the players

that just got rich as fuck today.

That's good for them.

We also should mention James Harden.

I think this is three trade requests in four years so he opted in with the sixers which actually is a good move for the sixers because they can get something for him i think james harden did it because he's like i don't like anyone who has salary cap money is probably not going to be good so i'd rather opt in and then trade and be able to play for a team

that's good uh he wants to go to the clippers which would be the funniest place for him to go i don't i can't imagine like if they added kairi that would be the perfect all like least dependable team maybe ben simmons as well all weirdos kairi paul george but i i think we said i don't know if we were – I think we were off air when we were talking about it, PFT, but, like, the Clippers have become, like, the greatest legacy-changing thing for Paul George. He's becoming – if James Harden goes to the Clippers, Paul George is easily, like, the most likable and most dependable player they have.
Yeah, yeah, have they'd have Westbrook they would have uh then in this case who is dependable who is dependable but not maybe not likable is dependable you know exactly what you're getting I think he's getting like three million dollars a year for the Clippers like he's getting paid nothing um and then obviously you've got Kawhi who I don't think is is Kawh? Sometimes. Sometimes.
Does he still play? He's not unlikable. He's just not dependable.
Just weirdos. They've just got a bunch of weirdos on the Clippers, which is – that's exactly how I like my Clippers.
I don't like my Clippers to be feisty and to be like the team that has expectations on them. The Clippers should always be just very, very strange basketball players grouped into almost like you put a bunch of different animals inside a mason jar and you make them get along.
Well, it's also perfect because they're opening up a new arena. So they're like, well, we need guys to be able to sell seats in this new arena.
And that's essentially what they're doing. They're just collecting as many guys as they can.
It doesn't make sense basketball-wise, but they're like, look at all the names we have come by season tickets yeah i like that strategy it's a good strategy for them uh who else who are the other big winners uh oh draymond lakers the warriors shout out the lakers the lakers keeping their young guys together yeah ruey austin reeves uh they got gabe vincent as well i i actually think the lakers like have a pretty damn good team. It is funny how we immediately forget about the team that just won the title.
Everyone's like, look at, you know, Eric Gordon went to the Suns. Suns are filling out their roster and look at the Lakers like, well, yeah, the Nuggets are still the best team.
Let's, let's, let's, let's pump the brakes until we'll, you know, we start playing ball and we see that they're like drastically different which i don't think they will be um but yeah the the lakers uh i'm trying to think oh yeah the warriors getting draymond green i like that just because draymond green being in a different uniform would have sucked like if he was on the mavericks it would have sucked it would it's gonna be weird though how long was his contract his contract's four years 100 mil yeah so the last two years of that contract, he's not going to be good at all. But, I mean, I feel like he's not good offensively already.
Like, he's just going to keep doing, like, being Draymond Green and making it all work defensively. And they're like, I like teams, even though if it makes no sense, they're like, we're going to keep it all together together we're going to try to eke out one more and what's the worst that happens like all of them age poorly and we have like a sick you know like retirement night all of them together i think there's not really many other options i think it's going to be cool to have draymond around once chris paul starts getting a little too chippy once he tries to take like in the face too much of that leadership role's going to be someone's getting a hit in the face.
Someone's getting a hit in the dick. Yeah, so Max or Hank, because you guys kind of share teams, James Harden, do you want him to stay on the Sixers? I think he's going to start the season on the Sixers.
I think it's going to be a Kevin Durant kind of situation where he might get traded later in the season, but I don't think anyone's going to offer what Daryl Morey wants for this year for the Sixers. Thoughts? That's exactly what I was going to say.
I said it first. I was going to say that too.
PFT, were you going to say that? Yeah, I was just going to say that James Harden, he might just have to eat his way out of town.

That's really the only – that's the last shot that he has left in his bag right now,

just get fat again, which, by the way, that was the funniest trade move of all time.

Like, oh, you're not going to trade me?

Well, I have it in my power to get fat over the span of two weeks.

Yes.

Yeah, morbidly obese.

Yeah, and Pat Bev also on the team, which is huge for our guy roan uh who's a sixers fan having pat bev be on his favorite team and doing a podcast with him but max do you want james harden to play the entire season with the philadelphia 76ers from the reports of the guys that we would get back i would rather have james harden like okay i don't that makes sense i don't i don't need i don't need norman powell instead of james harden if you're thinking logistically of like trying to have a winning basketball team um i don't think that it's gonna stick i think eventually more he's gonna get something out of it but i think it's gonna probably be in like by like around christmas time okay yeah i feel like but I think it's going to probably be around Christmas time.

Okay. Yeah, I feel like that's

going to...

Daryl Morey doesn't feel like a guy who's just going to trade someone

just because he wants to be traded.

I don't like that James Harden wants to leave us.

You would think that if you're a good team

that has a chance to win a championship, you would want to stay, right?

Yeah. I mean, you guys, this is your window, right?

That's not adding up to me.

It's a great point. I love this city, and I just want, like, I don't understand why someone would want to leave it.
Do you think he has less faith in the team than you do as a fan? I just think getting the opportunity to play with the MVP, like, you don't get that opportunity every year. So why would you be literally running from it as fast as you can? Hey, don't you want guys that want to be there? Yeah, definitely.
I like this. How you feeling, Max? Ain't no fun when they're out.
No, I agree. I mean, I'm happy that I have another Sixers fan in here to, you know, just do some discourse on my Sixers.
Okay, what else? Also, Derek Rose, he's returning to Memphis. That tells me that Jerry Reinsdorf has really lost his fastball, not the fact that he can't field competitive teams in both sports that he owns, but the fact that he wasn't like, let's just bring Derrick Rose back just to fill the United Center because that felt like that was going to be the move.
But, yeah, I like him. Oh, and we forgot Dylan Brooks.
Dylan Brooks. Yeah.
Hope you have fun learning Chinese, buddy. Turns out four years, $80 million for the Rockets is a little different than going abroad.

I mean, I like that for the Rockets too.

You got Fred Van Vliet to basically be the adult number

and Dylan Brooks to be like the past.

Yeah.

Dylan Brooks, there's no chance that he's as bad

as we all remember him as being in that last series.

He's not. He's a good defender.
He's not bad. we all remember him as being in in that last series he's not he's a good he's not he's not bad he's just he's just a dumbass and you can he just did dumb things yeah he's he's not dumb by his nature he's not bad at basketball by by like as a person but he's just he's just stupid and so you can fix stupid sometimes yeah and you also every single team needs one like a rationally confident stupid guy who thinks that they can stop lebron in a seven game series that's not a bad thing to happen have like you want one of those guys you don't want a whole team of those guys but you need one of those guys who thinks they're the best player in the world and can go know go toe-to-toe with people for a game or two yeah the the big john thompson quote you need you can win a chip with two of those guys if you have five of them they'll get you fired yeah exactly exactly um okay any other nba stuff was fun free agency fun time contracts everywhere i grade free agency overall i give it a b minus this year well it's you know what it is is like i was thinking about it because i was like god damn it i wish the nba did free agency not on a holiday weekend when like you know there's a lot of sports all year round and like this is the one stretch we can just bank on being like not a lot going on but it's actually smart for them because there's nothing going on and the nba can just have free agency for a couple days and everyone can freak out and then forget about who got signed uh until like christmas day yeah i just i wish that kairi had gone somewhere else that would have turned this from a b minus into like an a minus because that would have added a little extra drama to there were too many guys re-signing with their own teams for my liking i like i like the this league drama that goes along with it i don't care that cal kuzma is coming back for 100 mil yeah this league big time this league um okay other news ricky fowler's back big officially big no one watched it people watched it on their phone cbs i do not understand what happened they basically they they had a weather uh inclement weather coming in detroit so the rocket mortgage tournament they started everyone at like eight in the morning and the coverage didn't begin till three o'clock so everyone had to just like i i don't know about you guys but i just scrambled i was watching i watched.
I watched a couple of things on ESPN plus. And then I was like, wait, is it on NBC? Cause it was on the golf channel.
And then finally I figured out it was on CBS sports app for like the last, like three holes of the tournament. And then the overtime, just a complete disaster of live rights.
I don't understand how it happens. Well, it happened because it was in the script that Max Homo was going to get a hole-in-one and we still don't really have video evidence of it because we didn't see it on a big screen.
We only saw it on a phone. It was grainy footage that was uploaded.
So we don't know. Jake, I don't know if you have any comment on that.
It looked like Max faked his hole-in-one today. Yeah.
I mean, you saw him celebrate very calm celebration. He acted like he was there before, but I guess he didn't see the ball go in the hole.
So I guess it's an open case. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he said he hasn't seen either of his hole-in-ones on tour. It's good to have Ricky back.
Ricky's been awesome for the last month. He's the most likable guy.
You can't root against Ricky Fowler. Also also i didn't realize like the full story that he rehired his swing coach i think um is how like he basically someone likened it to like getting back with the next wife and being like sorry i was the one who fucked everything up like it it takes a lot of like swallowing pride to rehire your coach and he went through some dark times.
was it like uh was it 1600 days or something it was a long long stretch that he hadn't won i think it was 2019 was the last time he won so yeah it's he's gonna be in the rider cup he looked awesome it was good that he finished one the fact that he finished one too with that t shot on on uh the second time they played 18 i thought he was fucked and. And yeah, Ricky's great for golf.
Stamped great for golf. Yeah, recurring guest a part of my take.
People forget that. Ricky, we got to have him back on.
We got to have Ricky back on. I can't wait.
If we win the Ryder Cup, I can't wait for him to remake that picture where everybody's making out with their wives or girlfriends afterwards. Yes.
And Ricky's just in the middle, just smiling like, I don't have a face to kiss right now. Yes.
I need him with Allison Stoke, right? That's his wife. Yes, Olympian.
Yeah, full on just tongue wrestling. Yes, yes.
Ricky's got a kid now. Listen, wow, we all age so fast.
Ricky's got a kid. He was a guy with no girlfriend last time we saw him in the Ryder Cup.
Yeah, that was awesome. It was awesome to see Ricky back.
Congrats to him. Any other sports news? I don't think so.
It's about a baseball draft. We have a baseball draft.
I'm very excited about that. We were drinking Coors Lights because it was on Hank's birthday.
So we cracked open some 40s and just said a bunch of dudes' names. And at one point, I think Billy had like five minutes to make a pick, and then it circled back to him, and he needed another three minutes to make his pick after that.
Yeah. But we have been keeping track of the scores in our league over the last month or so since we did the draft.
We should say, though, because the original scoring format has changed a little bit. So it was originally going to be dingers only, so you get one point per home run.
And then you had one guy, and his designated spot was only getting hit by pitches. So that was going to be worth 10 every time he got hit by a pitch.
We quickly realized that that scoring system makes no sense whatsoever because it's just basically a one-man team where if you have the guy that gets hit by the most pitches, you automatically win the league because they're so overvalued. So we made an adjustment on the fly and we reduced it to five points per hit by pitch.
Jake was not happy about it, but Hank suggested it. We all agreed that it was the right call to make for the spirit of fairness and competition.
So Jake thinks that Hank has out to get him and was, Jake, I guess I'll let you state your case here, but I think you have to acknowledge that it would be unfair just to have your hit by pitch guy be the only player that counts on your roster. We should just make by pitch one point next year it should be dingers only that's the name of the league dingers only jake yeah no it's whose idea was 10 points in the first place i just wanted to have a hit by pitch guy on the roster it was just interesting how i was in first place or second place and we changed it after after the league had begun.
That's all I said. That is interesting.
Yeah, but it was – Everyone gets five points. In fantasy football, you don't change – Yeah, you're right.
In fantasy football, you don't change scoring after week one. Jake's going in and out.
I can't tell what's going on with his mic. He just doesn't like how we change the rules during the season uh i also think that's pretty screwed up just billy you voted in favor i didn't i'm the only one on video who said oh yeah you're right you're right you're right everyone else did yeah yeah yeah the top two the first and second place at the time were not present for the vote right but it doesn't matter because five out of eight voted

yes. I think

we should just... I actually think hit by

pitch was a big mistake in general.

I think it should be the dingers only is what gets

me gassed up. Just dingers.

I like having

one guy that gets hit by pitch. Ten points is

way too much per hit by pitch. It should be

I think two. Two is the magic

number. Yeah.
Okay, so next year we'll do two. This year we'll, I think, two.
Two is the magic number.

Yeah.

Okay, so next year we'll do two.

This year we'll have to deal with five.

One bit of sports news.

Elon Musk, the country of Italy,

has asked Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to fight in the Coliseum.

That is good sports news.

That's huge sports news.

The country of Italy.

Think about it. Imagine they fought in the Coliseum.
It turns out Elon Musk is actually sick of jujitsu too. So this is actually like a good matchup.
That actually, I mean, that's genius by Italy. They were like, Oh, the two richest dudes in the world want to fight.
Wonder what we could charge for this. Yeah.
Also, we got a spot for it. A lot of pasta.
Elonk and mark zuckerberg i want to throw this out there we will host in the new uh barstool office in chicago we will host the fight so we'll talk we'll negotiate but we are happy to host the fight and billy you your assignment said kidnap both of them yeah just have them show up um okay. Okay, let's do who's back, and then we'll get to Joey Chestnut, and then we will do Mount Rushmore baseball.
Oh, by the way, congratulations to Jake and Billy. You guys are back as well on your Mount Rushmores, like kind of making a little charge, making it interesting.
So we'll find out. We're only down by three points.
That's huge. We're about to run the table.
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Okay, who's back of the week, Hank?

Who's back

of the week? It was going to be Ricky.

It's Colin Kaepernick.

He did an interview and said he still works out five to six times a week waiting for an NFL call so he could be back same you work out five to six times a week Billy we've seen some visuals that would go opposite yeah I would not I work out five to six days a week waiting for an NFL. Maybe Colin Kaepernick should switch to being a wide receiver.
We can get him matched up one-on-one against Will Compton and see what he's got in that department. Ooh, okay.
I like it. All right, so Colin Kaepernick's back.
That will be – that Florio just got, like, a full month's worth of blogs to write. That's perfect for him.
I'm happy for him more than anyone. Yeah, it's it's that's a goldmine and also he loves posting those so that he can get mad at his own readership online for being like florio wire my favorite you know what more they call it yeah well the comment section has migrated to twitter and so he still he gets down in the weeds on that um the the uh i don't care about this response to the the Colin Kaepernick has started to rival the I don't care about Michael Sam comments that would come out every time Florida would write a Michael Sam article.

So, yeah, all the replies for Florida are just going to be like, who cares?

I don't care.

Like people just letting him know, like, hey, I don't care about this so much that I logged on two-factor authentication to tell you. I'm using one of my rate limit tweets to let you know that I don't care about this article.
Yes. Yes.
Okay, good. Who's back? PFT.
Great who's back, Hank. My who's back of the week, again, United States soccer, bitch.
We're up 4-0 against Trinidad and Tobago. We were beating two teams at once, two countries at once, 4-il and uh i think one dude had a hat trick so we're back big time this is in the the gold cup i think that's the tournament that we made up just that we could get another dub it's all the north american teams plus we put qatar in there too because they're technically north american i guess in some way um but yeah looks like we're on the on the fast track for another Gold Cup, bitches.
Yeah. Fuck yes.
Let's go, USA. All right.
My Who's Back is the Friday before July 4th news dump because there were a lot of firings. We actually had a couple people let go at Barstool, which sucks.
But ESPN had friends of ours, people that we've had on the show many times. That sucked.
And that was like it actually became so big that it wasn't a news dump. You thought you could maybe get it under the rug right before July 4th weekend, but that was a lot of shocking names at ESPN are no longer.
Andrew Marshall's Twitter was like, was like Woj.

Yeah.

It was crazy.

Steve Levy.

So,

I mean,

Jeff Van Gundy,

Jalen Rose,

Todd McShay are good.

Steve Levy is still there.

What?

Steve Levy is still there.

He sent like a tweet that.

Wait,

is that a Leroy?

Did Leroy break that one?

Steve had like a tweet that was talking about how good it was. He other people leaving he Josh prayed it yeah because Andrew Marchand quote tweeted Steve Levy's still fully DSPN he was reacting to his colleagues being let go but some have misconstrued his tweet leading to question about his status wow PFT you just John Rom dad him no he got he got me good.
Jalen Brown him.

He got me good.

Oh, Jalen Brown.

When's that happening?

Oh, Hank, has he re-signed yet?

No.

Hank, did he sign yet?

Okay.

But yeah, it sucked.

That whole day sucked.

Because Steve Levy said, feel numb.

Been trying to find the right words.

Maybe there aren't any.

That, to me, sounded like he was gone.

Oh, no. He was sad for his friends.
Yeah, he's sad for his friends. Either way, it sucked.
It's also like a reminder that we work in a, I mean, everyone's job in America. Like, you know, people get fired every day.
Everyone's going to get fired eventually. We'll get fired eventually at PFT.
It will suck. It might be cool, though, depending on what we do to get fired.
Like if we get fired eventually we'll get fired eventually pft yeah it will suck it might be it might be cool though depending on what we do to get fired like if we get fired for kidnapping mark zuckerberg and elon musk that would be awesome i could play a lot of golf if i got fired imagine how much golf hank would play oh my god well hank would fire us he would keep the job he'd probably take our salaries yeah he'd be like we're just we're just doing some some little cleaning up on the books we're gonna let these two guys go i'll do their work for them hank when you play golf as your job does that still count as taking some time off to play golf like do you need to play more golf to to calm down and relax after playing golf at work i wouldn't know i i hoped i hope to find that out one day oh you're going pro love it either way it sucked a lot and i feel really bad for everyone got fired anyone takes joy in any of them sucks um but yeah it was it was one of those like friday news dumps that became so big it wasn't it it had the opposite effect of a Friday news dump yeah the 4th of July news dump is a tried and true tradition in sports usually it's the NFL that has like seven suspensions that they hand out at like 458 on that Friday night and it's like I think most of that had already like trickled out slowly during the week with the Isaiah Rogers news and all that stuff but yeah if you need to bury anything just get it out there that friday yeah uh all right jay or billy you're who's back uh my who's back is the coliseum and the forest fires the smoke's back yeah that sucks you you know there's more you know what i learned today there's more trees in in canada than there our stars in the Milky Way. Is that true? Damn.
Yeah. I went to

a museum today.'s crazy why is Canada hogging all the trees? yeah it's fucking nuts it's not very polite what are you looking at me for Hank? there's a shitload of trees in Canada maybe less now than there were a couple weeks ago that seems like an impossible stat. I thought so too.
I was at a

fucking museum today. I saw some dinosaurs,

Billy. Yeah, and they all pissed

all the water. They pissed all the water.

They didn't see that fact. That's true.

I looked it up after the show and that is true.

Who's doing the forest fires,

Billy? The Canadians

and they won't put them out.

Also at the museum, I took my kids.

I had maybe the funniest, weirdest interaction. I met our good friend Stavros' brother.
He's fucking jacked. Is he really? Yeah.
Yeah. He was like, hey, what's up, big cat? And I was like, hey, what's up? And he's like, I'm Stavros' brother.
I was like, fuck, dude. That's awesome.
Which museum were you at? Whatever, the Natural, the natural history, the natural history museum.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That that's personally my favorite museum.

Just wanted to put that out there.

It is a cool museum.

I went to the butterfly exhibit and I was like deathly afraid because I

thought my son was going to just stomp on a bunch of butterflies and they

had like butterfly police there that were like,

don't touch the butterflies.

Even though the butterflies were trying to touch us,

the butterfly museums and the butterfly sanctuaries are the best place to go when you're hung over it's the most relaxing stroll of your life it also just makes anytime you're looking at insects in a glass case i just think of uh silence of the lamps yeah well this is fucked up because i went to the i went to the chicago zoo on friday checked out some of the animals they've got this glass case it's basically a closet that's filled with Madagascar hissing cockroaches. And there's like tens of thousands of them in this closet.
It's the most fucked up room in the world. Junior's like funny on, on most dangerous game, they served me a plate full of Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
And I thought I was actually going to have to eat them. And then right before I picked one up and was about to like bite its head off the bug guy came out of nowhere i was like no you're not actually supposed to eat those and then i just had to then i just had to eat up blended up mealworms oh okay eat the bugs eat the bugs billy do as you're told wear your mask it's fire fire it's fires outside billy you lib yeah uh all right jake you're who's, I know who's back.
PFC hinted at it, but complaining about Twitter, Elon dropped a new rule saying if you're unverified, you can only read up to 600 tweets a day, but if you're a proud blue checkmark holder like me, you can read up to 6,000. And I personally have not noticed a difference because I love having my blue checkmark, and this is just another perk of that.
Okay. So the real who's back is just you bragging about it.
No, people were really pissed off about it. I loved it.
I loved it. Anytime Elon can make like all of Twitter collectively be like, I'm quitting.
Follow me on blue sky. I think it's the funniest shit ever.
Yeah, it was so funny because I think what happened was there was something i got fucked up with the back end of the system and then he's like well no that's just my new feature where you're not allowed to read all the tweets and then all the advertisers are like wait if you're limiting access to viewing tweets doesn't that mean that you're not gonna sell enough we're not gonna have our ads shown to people because those are limited too and then elon was like oh fuck yeah that's right i guess i just better make half the timeline ads now so now it's like every two posts i'm seeing um uh what's his name tommy chong tommy chong and like his wife telling me to buy cbd oh yeah yeah i'm trying to everywhere on twitter right now it's that one in the uh all quiet on the western front for like a month and a half yep seeing that movie um i actually muted i my first block i blocked kate hudson on twitter because i got sick of seeing that that empires game that she was always advertising yeah oh that game rocks maybe the least horny thing i've ever done in my life all right let's do um we're gonna do joey chestnut then we're gonna Baseball Names, and then the baseball draft, which I'm very excited for everyone to listen to. You know that one sandwich you always crave? The one that just hits every single time? For me, it's a simple yet perfect combination.
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Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests it is joey chestnut who i have called the greatest athlete in our time i've said it every fourth of july i think for like the last decade that we are lucky enough to be alive when joey chestnut is competing. Joey, thank you for joining the show.

Let's just get right to it.

How are we feeling a day before your big day?

July 4th is now Joey Chestnut's day.

How are we feeling?

I'm feeling great.

Way better than last year.

No cast.

And, dude, I'm happy and hungry.

Yes.

That's what I like to hear.

What's the number that we're going for this year?

What is success looking for you? That record of 76, it could go down. The weather's looking a little bit iffy.
They're calling for thunderstorms. And it's been a long time since we've had rain.
So I don't know what – yeah, the hot dogs, when they get cold, they're hard to eat. So I'm really hoping that there's no rain.
But if it's good condition, I see a record. Now, what does rain do? Because we've had you on a few times.
And obviously, one of the times we talked about the time I competed, which was seven years ago, and you famously told me, famously to me, that the buns are looking fast today. And I was like, how the what how what does a fast bun look like so what happens if it rains is that like is this like uh tim wakefield's knuckleball like he needs the perfect weather what happens to the buns if there's moisture in the air yeah so if they're fast buns uh i mean they're not stale if okay sometimes the Bunger, they just get stale fast.
I don't know why, but if they're stale, then they're not stale. Sometimes the buns, they just get stale fast.

I don't know why.

But if they're stale, then they're not going to absorb the water quickly.

But if there's a storm, if they're raining on the hot dogs, then the buns are going to be already kind of wet.

Those buns might be faster.

But if the hot dogs get cold and then they get rubbery cold dogs are not good and it's not ideal so if you could design like a perfect morning of weather for the hot dog eating contest in order to like have optimal eating conditions what would that be a little overcast 82 degrees uh it makes sure the sun's not beating down it's trying to dry out the buns but also warm it up that you're sweating. Sometimes it's hard to get your heart beating to eat.
So you need a little bit of heat so you're sweating and loose. So what are we doing this week to train for the competition? What is the final two days before a big contest like this look like for you?

Yeah, so I had a little bit

of a little salad for dinner,

a protein supplement. Tomorrow's going to be

a big cleanse.

I might eat a little bit

over easy eggs or something tomorrow.

But really, it's going to be

a liquid diet.

And go in Tuesday...

Yeah, I'll go in

completely empty, daily contest.

So, who is Thank you. liquid diet and go in Tuesday.
Yeah, I'll go in completely empty daily contest. Who is the competitor right now that you have your eye on or is it just you? Are you just competing against yourself at this point because you're so much better than everyone else? No, I'll never disrespect my competitors.
These guys, Jeff Asper, awesome eater out of Boston and he he's actually beaten me a bunch. And for some reason, he hasn't been able to put together a good performance in hot dogs.
But one of these days he's going to surprise a lot of people, and I've got to make sure that I'm not surprised. I'm not going to be lazy.
This guy really can't eat 66, 67 hot dogs, but he just hasn't put it together yet. What's the number? You said 76 is a record, but what's the number that we'll never see a human being throw 110 miles an hour? It probably just won't ever be able to happen.
What's the peak for hot dogs where you're like, all right, this is the number that if I hit, I'm pretty confident no human can ever touch this. No, I can't think of it that way.
As soon as I say the absolute limit is 85, and then somebody will come out and do 86, and then I've already mentally blocked myself. I'll never be able to beat that guy.
So infinity. Right now, I could do any ticks if somebody came out here and did 85.
So I'm not going to limit myself. And I'm sure one of the days some stud is going to come out and just push me.
This is why you're the greatest. This is why you're the greatest.
Because that was a trick question, and you didn't fall for the trick. There is no limit.
It no limit it's like you have no limit they said the four minute mile was impossible to run until roger banister ran it and now it's like okay they just redefined what possible was yeah this is uh this hunger the feeling bold the feeling i'm ignoring those feelings i'm just gonna push it i love it okay so yeah so you're shooting for a record tomorrow i i hope that you get it i mean everyone's gonna be rooting for you somehow you've managed to be both dominant and also universally beloved have you ever thought about that like most people there's some fatigue that goes along with sustained bouts of success and you've just dominated the sport of competitive eating but people still love you i uh there's definitely people who want to see me fail and it and i uh it is what it is i i've been really lucky that fourth of july i uh i get a lot of support and not necessarily pressure but support and people are pushing me to to be my best and i'm out there going they should put you on on put you on not Rushmore. That's how American Joey Chestnut is.
But I'm being serious, Joey. Like, I know you're a humble guy, and I appreciate that.
But when I think of, like, the greatest athletes of all time, it's like Michael Jordan, Secretariat, Tiger Woods, Joey Chestnut. I think that would be my rush for right there.
Is that so crazy?

Do you scoff at me putting you in the conversation with those guys?

Because I truly believe it in my heart of hearts.

Your dominance on July 4th is so incredible and such a joy to watch.

That's how I feel.

Thank you.

Dude, there'll be a lot of people who argue with you.

But right now, I have to agree with you because I'm pushing hard i'm i'm i'm not gonna let anything stop me you look like you're in great shape right now you look like you've been working out guns looking nice and swole you look a little bit jacked up joey i uh i've been trying to work out last year i was i was so fat and soft and because i've made leg injury and multiple infections so this year I've been working out and I put a lot of work into making sure that I can keep doing this in the future. So how are we testing the limits of what's possible in terms of eating hot dogs? Like you've been so dominant for so long that you have to be looking for like these tiny little edges, like sabermetrics almost, like trying to find out a way that you can get better that other people haven't thought of yet.
So what's been like the latest development in terms of your training regimen or what you're focusing on to get those extra couple of dogs down? Yeah, I've been experimenting with a couple of little things with my dunking liquid. Traditionally, it's just hot with warm water so I've added a couple little things

that maybe help

help digestion a little bit

but

this year I was like

with being a little bit hamilectrous

for so long I've been

doing all my feet with my left hand

so I couldn't quite perfect it

I wanted to be able to do dunking with both hands

and I'm going to figure that out eventually that'll take some time off but uh this year is i'm i i feel really i i think my health right now is the biggest deal so what like in terms of your career where are you uh like the longevity how long do you think you can do this for because i You still shock me but like is this something that in 10 years we're gonna have you on part of my take god willing and we're gonna be having the same conversation we're gonna be like joey chestnut you know 20 years in a row i hope that happens but have you is there any part of you that's seeing the end in sight in sight no, no. 20 years is a little unrealistic,

but I'm looking.

Tom Brady did great at 45,

and it's really hard to retire when you're on top.

Yes.

It's going to be...

I'm going to ride the thing until the wheels fall off.

I love it. I love it.

You're dominant. Like Big Cat said, you are maybe the most dominant American athlete of this generation.
Do you ever amaze yourself with how much you can eat? Are you ever like, oh, holy shit, that's incredible. Oh my god, yeah.
There have been some times where I'm in a practice, and I'm like five minutes in, and I'm more than 50 hot dogs in. I'm like, whoa, this is a little bit scary.

I think I might hit my limit before 10 minutes.

So there's times where things are just clicking perfectly,

and my breathing and everything working together.

And it's just almost not magic, but it feels good.

I love it.

There's being in the zone for hot dog eaters, too. Oh, yeah.
All right, so I have one last question, Joey, and we will be rooting for you on 4th of July. Hey, it's John Gruden.
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So you said 76. Knowing what you're doing right now, we're taping this Sunday night.
Do you think 77, you got 77 in you on Tuesday? We want people to tune in being like something special is going to happen. I'm not going to make you guarantee anything, but are you thinking that you are in a spot where 77 is doable? It's doable.
But there's things out of my control. There could be silly protesters.
There could be a thunderstorm. But if I'm feeling as good as I have the last two weeks, I can do it.
What are we looking for? Minute number eight, where do you need to be for everybody? We're going to be watching at home being like, Joey said he could get 77 today. What's a good benchmark, like minute number eight, that you're within striking distance? Minute eight, definitely I like that 50 hot dogs in five minutes is really right there.
Minute eight, it depends. Sometimes my last minute I'm doing six minutes, sometimes I'm doing seven.
That's 68. If I'm at 65, it's almost guaranteed that i'm gonna hit it uh 53 it's getting closer yeah okay okay i like that and i guess last last question the night before are you able to sleep or are you just like a nervous wreck like what time do you go to bed before you get up to eat 70 plus hot dogs i try to get to bed like nine and i wake up at five uh drink drink my last like little water chug and count my belts make sure the inspiration is loose but uh yeah i i sleep well i'm a fat boy yeah i love it i love it well joey love you, man.
We're rooting for you on 4th of July.

It's one of my favorite things.

I will tweet it out again.

I'm not going to say that you're going to win,

but when you go out and put your best effort,

that I was lucky enough to see Joey Chestnut in his prime.

So thank you as always, and best of luck on 4th of July.

Oh, thank you, guys.

Great to be on with you again.

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Might as well put the on the barstool sportsbook terms apply must be 21 or over gambling problem call 1-800 gambler download and sign up for the barstool sportsbook today okay before we do our baseball draft we're gonna do mount rushmore mount rushmore of baseball names so these it just occurred to me we're gonna do about two and a half hours of just saying names of baseball players. No, that's great.
That's awesome. The Dinger Only League.
We should make some shirts. Dingers Only.
Yes, Dingers Only. So baseball names.
It's going to be player names. It's going to be the rules are you can do nicknames, but it to be what the announcer called them so perfect example Chipper Jones would count because his real name is Larry but the announcers called him Chipper Jones so that would be a good example of a baseball name a baseball nickname that counts everyone get it? Everyone on board? Everyone like it?

Easy enough?

Yeah.

Hank, he's staring off into the abyss.

Oh, my God.

I'm good.

Okay.

Okay.

So.

I'm thinking.

You're thinking.

Thinking of names.

I'm going to list some fucking good-ass names right now.

Also, if you'd like to give a little story of the person's name you say, that would work too. Billy and Jake, you are up first.
You're on the clock. Mount Rushmore, baseball names.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Are you going to say it? Yeah, I'm going to say it. Oh, no.
Well, he's not vetoing. We have a really great relationship.
I don't know why. Wait, wait, wait.
Who said you didn't? You guys don't understand what I'm saying. I thought that there's a pick that is clear that I wouldn't expect Jake to say.
Go ahead. Oh, fuck.
Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.
First pick. Go ahead.
No, go ahead. Go ahead.
I know what they're saying. Okay, go ahead.
I should steal it. No.
Yeah, go for it. Rusty Kuntz.
Oh, that's not his name. That's not his name.
That's not his name. What? Rusty Kuntz.
That's not his name. His name's Rusty Kuntz.
Rusty Kuntz. So I was right.
No, but you have to say the pronunciation. No, it's Kuntz.
No, it's Kuntz. So you don't get the name then.
So you don't get it. No, no, no.
Rusty Kuntz. Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz.
No, no, no. Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz, Kuntz.
Rusty Kuntunts. All right, so you guys get Rusty Kuntz.

Why is that a cool name?

Well, on the graphic, it's K-U-N-T-Z. Well, but we're going to phonetically place everyone.
Oh, so we're changing the rules. Yeah, no, that's not.
No, we always do phonetics. No, we don't.
We always do phonetics. The guy's name is Rusty Kuntz.
We got the one. His name is Kuntz.
Yeah. Okay, great.
He fell for my trap. Nope, you guys fell for mine.
Oh. I was not going to say that.
Say cunts. Koontz.
Say cunts. No.
Then it doesn't count. Say cunts.
Rusty Koontz. No, because then you don't get cunts.
Cunts, cunts, cunts. No, no, no.
Jake has to say it. Billy's said it enough.
Jake, say his name. Cunts, cunts, cunts.
No, I'm a professional. I say how it's pronounced.
All right. So then when people are voting, please remember that you're voting for Rusty Koontz.
It's actually not that cool of a name. Yeah, it's not that cool of a name.
At all. It won't count.
You can't vote for Rusty Kuntz unless you say it. Just say it.
No. Say it.
No, this is Ray Allen Part 2. No, it's not.
Just say it. Say it in an Australian accent, then it doesn't count.
Please everyone know when you vote for it. Kuntz.
Kuntz. It doesn't count if you say it in English.
All right, so when you're voting for it on the poll. Yeah, so this is them trying to rig the poll.
Yeah, Hank knows what I'm talking about. No, we're voting.
Sickening, Jake. We're voting for what you said, which is? R-U-S-T-Y space K-U-N-T-Z.
Say the name. Rusty Coons.
Okay, so that's what you should vote for. Rusty Coons.
Okay. Cunts.
They're going to win because the graphic's not going to... You can't put context on that graphic.
Okay. Oh.
Yeah, I don't really know how to go here. I'm just going to go with Coco Crisp.
Okay. Good name.
Solid name. Great name.
Great name. On our list.

On the list.

I feel like I might have left something off the board there, but it's a great name.

It's a great name.

No, they're just going to do a bunch of players that nobody knows who they actually are.

That's not true.

Not at all true.

That's not true.

PFT.

We got the whole board in front of us.

We got a lot to work with here.

Because we never would stoop to doing Rusty Koontz. No, I like...
That is a... No one knows Rusty Koontz.
16 and 3. A little this and that.
A little pepper and salt and pepper. Yeah, let's do it.
Okay. You go first.
All right. Our first pick will be Pete LeCocq.
Pete LeCocq. Oh.
Yeah. Sounds like a fake person.
Pete LeCocq. Well, wait until you hear our next pick.
Oh, I can't wait. Pete LeCocq.
I feel like if no one knows these people, it's... No, I like our strategy.
I like our strategy. Let them go.
It's cool for the graphic. I'm sorry you don't know seeing.
Who did Pete LeCocq play for? For the Cubs. Yeah, the Cubs.
Easy. And the Royals.
When? So we fucking 70s, dude. It wasn't that long ago.
I take your... It wasn't that long ago.
What position did he play, PFT? He was a utility guy. He was a lefty-lefty.
First base. I take your Pete LeClock.
It's not your turn. You're not even close to being up right now.
Snake, Billy, snake.

Fuck.

All right.

For a second, maybe the best player.

Also, just a fun little Pete LeCocq story.

The final appearance for Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson.

Pete LeCocq, grand slam off of him.

Wow.

Who could forget?

Yeah.

Pete LeCocq.

I mean, you can't not laugh about that.

By the way, P.F.T.'s right.

He was a first baseman.

Yeah.

We know our Pete LeCocq. Lefty, lefty.
You can't not laugh when I say Pete the way, PFT's right. He was a first baseman.
Yeah. We know our Pete LeCocq.

Lefty lefty.

You can't not laugh when I say Pete LeCocq.

It's funny.

All right.

Easy second pick for us.

Maybe the best player on this list.

Yogi Berra.

Great one.

Great name.

Absolutely fantastic name.

Do you guys not know who that is?

Fuck.

I'm going to be honest. I was thinking Yogi Berra before he said Rusty.

Oh, wow.

Then you get credit for it. Yeah.
It was in my head. Okay, Billy.
No, we're not in. We're not in.
We're not in. I was trying to get him to go.
Great picks, PFT. Yeah.
I feel bad. I just gave me the worst.
Pete LeCocq and Yogi Berra. I just gave you.
I'll run. Oh, man.
I wish to run. I got a great run, too.
I got a great run, too. You got to get the video, the look that Max just gave me because it was dire.
He was just like. Yeah, because he knows Pete LeCocq just fucking slams.
All right, well, then I'm just going to go with my heart. I'm going to go with the guy I love the most.
You said name a story if you got him. Came to the Red Sox in the trade deadline.
Used to jump through the ceiling, make unbelievable plays, shortstop, second baseman pokey reese good name okay great name name great great fielder great great vibes guy 2004 world champion near and dear to my heart nick torrini also randomly is a huge pokey reese fan which we've truly bonded over like when he came in it was like wearing i was like are you wearing a pokey reese fucking jersey he's like like, yep. And I was like, you're a man after my heart.

Yeah, Pokey Mountain.

Pokey Reese.

Good pick.

Probably not great for the graphic, but good for my heart.

Hey, guys, what position did Rusty Cunts play?

No idea, but the graphic's all in mind.

Oh, interesting.

I don't give a fuck.

Sell out.

Sad, sad.

Yeah.

You have two picks.

Yeah, so first pick, take your Pete LeCocq and raise you with a. Sell out.
Sad. Sad.
Yeah. You have two picks.
Yeah.

So first pick, take your Pete LeCocq and raise you with a Johnny Dick shot.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

When did he play?

Don't give a fuck.

Okay.

Okay.

So baseball trivia thing or a Mount Rushmore?

Yeah.

How did you get his name?

We looked at all.

Yeah.

We looked.

Yeah.

We did research.

You let Bleacher Report pick your team.

Yeah.

I could have.

All the teams, all the names we're picking, we knew off the top of our head.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That's fine.

I don't know. Yeah, we looked.
We did research. You let Bleacher Report pick your team.
Yeah. I could have.
All the teams, all the names we're picking, we knew off the top of our head.

That's fine.

I don't hate this strategy.

I think the graphic people will.

That's all that matters. We should just say team one picked by Bleacher Report.

Do we want to start over and do Mount Rushmore baseball players you watched in your lives?

You guys just saw that we got your first pick.

Everyone knows about LeCocq.

We know more names than you guys. Of course.
Everyone got your first no we just know knows about lecoq no we know everyone knows yeah everyone knows the cock yeah um all right fine fine you don't want us to go with no no go with whatever you want no you you go yeah yeah yeah we'll go we'll go active for you is that okay with you guys oh is that okay yeah okay i like all you have to do is say. Mookie Betts.
Okay. I'd say that's a better name than Pokey Reese.
Yeah. Great name.
Great name for a dog. Active player.
Everyone knows who he is. Great pick.
Great pick. Thank you.
It's contentious. It is very contentious.
I like it. I like it.
I'm also, again, Max is out, not passing the ball today.

Oil Can Boyd.

Did they call him Oil Can Boyd when he was the announcers?

I feel like they did.

They did when he was at the Brockton Rocks.

I think they did.

If you go to the Baseball Hall of Fame, you see Oil Can Boyd.

Okay, that counts.

I mean, I have other ones, if not, but that one.

No, that one counts.

He played the Brocktons like a town.

His name was Dennis. Yeah, there's no way they called him Dennis.
Nois no you're right i never heard dennis boyd so you're right you're absolutely right good pick good but he played uh he did like the it was like a single a maybe not even uh what they call it international league yeah and he pitched when he was like 60 in massachusetts for the brockton rocks okay pft we got lot we can go from. Yeah, we've got some down towards the end of the list.
The last guy still remaining. Yeah, I like 15, 17, and I also am a fan of six.
So you go with your gut. There's a lot of good names.
I think I numbered my list differently than you numbered your list. Oh, shit.
Did I not send you the numbered list?

You didn't send it to me.

Fuck.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, that was bad.

Nice synergy.

I thought I did.

No, it's fine.

I've got a numbered list, too, but I think it's different from what Big Cat looks like.

We just have a slightly different numbered list.

Jake and I have a really awesome shared doc.

Here.

Because we're on the same page.

No, we feel good about ours.

No, you don't.

I was thinking 15, 17, and 6.

But what are you thinking?

What do you like?

I like Al Albuquerque.

Yeah.

Al Albuquerque.

Shout out Mike Francesco.

Alberto Jose Albuquerque.

Yep.

Great fucking clip.

Can we put that clip in?

Mike Francesco?

No, no, that's PED. What? That's a PED.
You're hearing somebody else say it? Okay. Yeah.
Yep. Great fucking clip.
Can we put that clip in? Mike Francis. No, no.
That's P. That's P.
D. What? That's a P.
D. You're hearing somebody else say it? Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
Last pick for us. We're going to go with a Minnesota twin.
One of my favorite names out there. Booth Bonser.
Booth Bonser. Pitcher.
I love saying his name. I remember him playing.
Don't you worry, Jake. Don't get your fucking

doggers all wrinkled. You guys are the ones that came

at us. Booth Bonser, our last pick.

Go ahead, Hank.

Or Max.

Our last

pick. Where's my list? Oh, we'll go with

a cinematic one.

Moonlight Graham. Okay.

What's your favorite

Moonlight Graham highlight?

Probably Field of Dreams. Okay.
What's your favorite Moonlight Graham highlight? Probably Field of Dreams. Okay.
Was it really? Moonlight Graham. That was the whole premise of Field of Dreams.
Shoot list Joe Jackson. No, Moonlight Graham was the guy that was the pitcher, the ghost.
Oh, okay. Remember? Yeah, sure.
Moonlight Graham. It's been a while since I saw that one.
Is that Angels in the Outfield? No, that's a great movie, though. There are a lot of great baseball movies, aren't there? So many.
More than any other sport, in my opinion. Depth-wise.
Yeah. How many games do you think Moonlight Graham played? I think in the movie, Moonlight Graham, he played one game and then he died.
He played one game and then he died heroically. No, he didn't die.
He lived for like 60 more years. Something happened.
He was like the hero of that movie. He maybe went to war or something.
Yeah, he was the doctor. Can we have it in the graphic? One game played? Which war? The Civil War? He was born in...
Moonlight Graham is a real person. Let's not worry about my history.
Everyone knows who Moonlight Graham is. There's no way they introduced him as Moonlight Graham.
We're playing one game. Which side did he fight on? He's in the movie.
Moonlight Graham, yes. He's in a major motion picture as Moonlight Graham.
The announcers, the actors, called him Moonlight Graham. You're picking the guy from the movie.
Yeah, but he's a real guy in real life. Based off of a player who played in the major leagues.
Moonlight Graham was a great pick in Europe. Moonlight Graham was a great pick.
Moonlight Graham was a great pick. Moonlight Graham was a K fucking shuttlecock up.

Did anybody see the movie?

Facts.

With the chimp and Joey Tribbiani, and the chimp was playing baseball.

Yeah, and.

Yeah.

Okay, what's your last pick?

Goose Gossage.

Okay.

Good pick. I don't know why we have a match played for the Yankees.

Know who he is.

Yes, you do.

Didn't see him play, but if that's okay with you guys.

That's a good pick.

Big spitball guy.

He was a cheater.

I hope you're okay with that. I didn't know that.
Oh, yeah. That's what he was known for.
He lubed that ball up. All right.
Good draft. What did we miss? There's a shitload that we missed.
There are some great names out there. Dizzy Dean.
That's a good one. Randy Johnson.
Yep. Al Kaline.
Alkaline. Oral Hershizer.
Oral Hershizer is a great name. It is.
Also, we were saying we were walking over Because PFT and I did this just off the top of our heads Barry Bonds is a great name Barry Bonds is a great name I know that maybe it's because he's so good But Barry Bonds is a great name So is Babe Ruth Babe Ruth is a great name Named a candy bar after him UNESCO Betancourt is always fun to say That's's a good one. Ryan Sandberg we had on there.
Milton Bradley. Milton Bradley.
Did you guys only have four? Willie Mo Pena. Yeah, that's a good name.
You should have used that one. I like Mo Vaughn, too.
Mo Vaughn's a good one. He's not Pee Wee Reese.
He's not Les Vaughn. Who is Pee Wee Reese? He was a guy.
Pee Wee Reese is a guy who put his arm around Jackie Robinson. He's ended racism in America.
Max said that and inspired me to pick Pokey. Yeah.
Because of. Oh, it just made me think of Reese.
Dusty Baker is a good name, too. If you if you there are some hilarious ones from way back in the day.
If you just I just Googled best names. Pretzel Pizzullo.
He played for the Phillies. Let's just make up someone.
Bunny Brief. Like Spit Shine Louie.
Some of these are just Bill Malarkey. Phenomenal Smith.
Phenomenal Smith. 1884 to 1891.
Oh, this one's good. Orville Overhaul.

Some of these are fucking hilarious.

Mudcat Grant.

Oh, that's good.

That's a good one.

Mordecai Three Finger Brown.

Oh, this one's hilarious.

Playing second base, third base, and shortstop from 1943 to 1952.

Snuffy Sternweiss.

Snuffy Sternweiss.

Possum.

I don't even know how to say the last name. Stubby Clap.
That was 2001. I don't remember Stubby Clap.
I like Tug McGraw, too. Tug McGraw's a great one.
Mysterious Walker. There's a football player that's going to be probably playing college football next year for University of North Texas.
His name is Mo, O H last name. Bility mobility.
I mean, dice K is a great name. Yeah.
Especially for a pitcher. Yep.
Oil slick McGee, 1915 to 1916 for Max's Philadelphia Phillies, bud weiser. Oh, that's his name.
He's woke, but we love Coorsors Light We do love Coors Light Razor Shines

Dick Pole

These are some

Chicken Hawks

Some of the old names

That's not a real name

Cannonball Tickum

Oh yeah

Yeah

I remember old

CT

Cannonball Tickum

What a fucking name

Peekaboo Veach

Yeah

Baseball's gone for a long long time

Alright

Good Mount Rushmore

You guys

Good job everyone

Thank you. Rusty cunts.
Very upset. Just say it.
Just say rusty cunts. I got upset with you guys.
Say rusty cunts. No.
All right, so everyone vote. Remember, you're voting for rusty coots.
There it is. Pink gaslighting.
It's not Gaslighting. Say the name that you want people to vote for.
Tyre Alfredo. Luckily, in this competition, that doesn't matter.
Tyre Alfredo, you just made that up. I just thought of a great idea for the news, too.
I've been making them up the whole time. Jake, I'm just curious why people would vote for Rusty Coons.
Why is that a fun name? Right. Because it sounds like an inappropriate word that you guys have been saying.
It doesn't really sound like one. a real cunt about this okay fine just say it no if i say it now i definitely can't i have to stand on my ground all right everyone just remember you're voting for rusty coonts

maybe do on the on the uh maybe have it's no no no no no that's oh no that's sanctimonious

nts it's the sanctimonious. All right.
Okay. Time for the baseball draft.
Okay. It is time for our baseball draft dingers only.
And it's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light. Everyone thinks about the day they'll eventually get to retire and enjoy all the freedom that comes with it.
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We are going to do a little retiree this week.

We won't have another episode until Friday with Dungeons & Dragons.

But please do enjoy our MLB Dingers Only baseball draft presented by Coors Light. Okay.
It is time. We promised the AWLs.
We'd be doing a fantasy baseball league this year, and we are ready to do it. I'll just say this right now, PFT.
This could be a true test of who's a real AWL and who's not. We have the takeies coming up.
This could be the worst thing we do. Well, it could be, or it could be the best thing that we do, because what we've done is we've snatched fantasy sports back from the nerds.
Yes. We're taking it to the real jocks that understand how to play ball, and we've changed the rules a little bit.
Yeah. It's not complicated.
You don't need to bring decimal points into sports. We have a new league.
It is everyone on part of my take. Evan and Shane, who work behind the scenes, are co-owning a team.
Memes is also here. So there's eight teams total, and the league is called Dingers Only, and it's very simple to follow everyone has there's 10 rounds everyone has to pick one position player from each position and then you also get a 10th pick which I will explain in a second but the rules are simple dingers the only stat is dingers if you hit a home a point.
That's it. That's the whole game.
Doesn't matter the type of home run. Doesn't matter the type of home run.
There's no pitching. There's nothing.
Dingers only. It's who has the most dingers at the end of the Fantasy Baseball League.
We're playing rotisserie style, so it would just be all eight teams listed. Whoever's got the most dingers is the winner.
And then the wrinkle pft would you like to say it yeah this is what i'm very excited about we get one other player one extra player in a unique position so this extra player's position their home runs don't count you're not counting dingers for this extra player the only stat that will be counted for the extra slot is hit by pitches so you're going to get one person and then you're going to just root for them to get beaned because every time they get hit by a pitch it counts as what 10 10 10 points as opposed to everything else which is one point so that's really the wild card is yes if you pick a guy that gets beaned and just honestly rooting for a guy to get hit by a pitch it's going to be awesome and uh so yeah if you're listening to this right now it is july 3rd uh we're starting the league on july 3rd nothing else matters prior to this yeah we're drafting the league in early june or mid-june if your player if you draft a player today and they get hurt before july 3rd you are allowed to switch one player out if there's an injury that happens.

That doesn't matter if it's before or after.

There's no ads or drops in the entire league

except for the one time injured.

So if a guy gets injured, you get one time.

If you have two guys get injured,

you only can replace one of them.

Fingers only.

And your team is your team.

There's no changing.

There's no picking up players.

Should we do trades? Yeah, we can yeah we can have trades trades are allowed i don't see how anyone would trade uh but it is the simplest fantasy baseball league that you could possibly follow it's dingers only parentheses and one guy who gets hit by pitches well if there is a trade it would be hilarious because you'd only be allowed to trade the same position for another position. So I could only trade my shortstop to somebody for another shortstop, and then someone got fleeced.
Yes, exactly. Exactly.
We might have to do trades. We're drafting positions.
Positions. Oh, no, Hank.
Because regular fantasy baseball, I think it's outfield, right? Maybe the easiest league to track of all time, and Hank's draft strategy is out the window. I was just going for dingers.
Hank told us beforehand, he's like, I've got this. I have a system that is going to break this league.
Yeah, that disregard. I mean, it couldn't have been more simple when we were talking about it.
Well, I thought it was literally just dingers. No, everyone's going to have a second baseman.
Everyone's going to have a third baseman down the line. It's binary.
Is it a dinger or is it not a dinger? Yeah, it's a ball. All right.
I got a no ball. Also, we're drinking some 40s of Coors Light while we do it.
Yes, because it is Hank's birthday. That will date when we're drafting.
This is going to be funny to watch. This is going to suck to watch if you draft tonight and your guy just goes hot.
Dingers and none of them count. Wasted dingers.
Nothing worse. Should we count right away? No, let's count right away.
Isn't there a Twitter account? Yeah, a home run tracker. Yeah.
You have to turn notifications on starting July 3rd. Actually, it would be kind of funny if we started counting tomorrow night and we just then on July 3rd, we had an updated leaderboard.
Yeah. Do you want to do that? That's dope.
Let's do it. Okay.
All right. All so all right so we're gonna count the stats starting tonight wednesday june 14th 14th to be the start of the stats i like it i love it we're gonna be rooting and no one else will know yeah that's fine and so it's just strictly based on points it's not head-to-head matchups yeah so actually this is great because people are july 3rd they're gonna like no one can be invested on game one of the MLB season.
No one can be invested when it's zeros all around. On July 3rd, we're going to reveal the leaderboard.
Right. So we can't tweet about it or anything the next three weeks.
No, you can't say a word. Yeah, we can talk in our group chat.
You can update it and send it to us. Yeah, I love that.
Okay. I'll make this league, this link public where people can't they can just view it so they can i'll update it daily and they can see you mean when when we go live on july 3rd yes yes i'll tweet out this link that we're just tweet out a leaderboard every morning from pardon my yeah i'll just yeah fingers only all right last thing before we start the draft of course because we're doing this and we're competing against each other we have to have a punishment and i think this one will be we we try we've tried to do punishments that will pay off for the awls so the bowling one was eye-opening how many people thank you to everyone who watched it live we obviously have the mount rushmore where the losing team is going to have to do uh the solitary confinement with each other And this one is going to take a little logistical work, but I think we can pull it off.
The loser of this league, we're going to find a college baseball team, most likely Northwestern in Evanston, and the loser of this league has to get six outs against Northwestern. Pitching.
Yeah. So pitch six outs and we're gonna be a full inning of outs we're gonna be in the field a little bit too we're gonna have we're gonna have the outfield will be a combination of us so loser has to pitch and second second place has to catch second place has to catch loser Second place has to catch.

Loser has to pitch.

And that will be quite something.

It will be.

I'm already calling it. Max is going to have to catch.

He just looks like a catcher, doesn't he?

He looks like a catcher.

He crawled out of the wound just with a chest pad on and shin protectors.

Wait, so if there's that dropped third strike thing?

Yeah.

We don't have to worry about that.

Well, the catcher. Well, but do you think anyone's going to strike anyone out? Billy totally could.
I'm going to end up hurting myself throwing this ball. Oh, no.
Better help. Yeah.
You have enough medicine to beat yourself up? I'm going to have to get Tommy John if I lose this. I would struggle struggle finding the plate.
Yeah, hit somebody. After that wiffle ball pitch.
Oh, my God. That's different.
I forgot about that. That was one of my favorite clips of all time.
Trying to throw a ball. I get a hold of the ball.
Six, seven feet? I get a hold of the ball for the first time. That'll be a good July 4th post.
It will be, yeah. The best part is to...
How come we didn't use that clip for Zach Wilson throws this year? That would have been perfect. The best part is, I blame you.
The best part is, with the second place, you can't do anything. You can't change.
You can't sit anyone. You can't do anything.
Team is your team. Oh, you could trade.
Yeah, you could trade. You could trade.
You could trade. That might be a strategy, like if someone's in last in the second.
I don't think you understand the concept of the trade, though. You'd have to trade a position for the same position.
Do worse. Yeah.
Trade for an injured player. Okay, so that will hopefully be one of the best videos we ever do.
Someone trying to get six outs against a college baseball team while the rest of us are in the outfield. Okay.
We also have TJ here. TJ, I would like you to do one thing for us.
After each round, can you just give us a quick 20-second draft grade so we can grade as we go? I like it. And then I think that's it.
I think that's all the rules. The only other thing we had was in the 11th round.
So it's a 10-round draft. The 11th round, we'll all pick one pitcher, which will only be for tiebreakers.
So if there's a dead tie for last place, the tiebreaker will go to strikeouts of your pitcher. So the pitcher has nothing to do with it unless a tiebreaker comes into play.
Okay. Draft order.
You have a deck of cards. I've got a deck of cards, so you want to just do high card? Yeah, let's do high card.
I'd say high card gets to pick the draft order. We should probably try to go in a circle.
Yeah. Because it will get confusing otherwise.
Go around.. Yeah.
Okay. Big Cat.
You want to just pick a card? I got the king. That's a good card.
Is ace high or low? You want me to just reach in? Yep. I think Big Cat has a high card.
Hank got an eight. Max, this is going to be a bad podcast episode.
Just let it go. Jake got a five.
Give me an ace. Give me an ace.
Fuck. I got a jack.
Max. This is higher, right? Yeah.
Six. Are we doing it by That's the Order? Memes has his own team.
Oh, we're going to go in. We're going to go in.
Yeah, Memes is the own team. Memes.
How would you guys rank the suits? Nine. And what happens if like someone's...
Spades is the best. Ace of Spades best card there is.
So someone else gets a thing and I win. This is me.
I got a four. All right, so Max, you were right.
What's two, three, four? Fuck, I don't want to go first. Matt, you got to do Shane and...
Oh, you got to do Shane and Evan. Shane and Evan.
If he gets ace of spades... You got to turn your mic up.
Oh, I didn't think... Oh! Oh! All right, so Matt or Shane and Evan, you guys get to decide where you want to go in the draft order, and then we'll just go in a circle around that.
And I'll say thisane's shane's the newest guy on the team and he every time i'm walking by his desk he's got multiple games up he's he's oh he's a yeah he's a sneaky youngest seam head and evan evan does our youtube stuff he's great uh except for that one time he had it up late that you can blame evan uh some tech some technical difficulties evan this is actually the healing process is to get roasted. That's when we feel good.
And Shane, if everyone remembers, Shane is fantastic. Behind the scenes guy created the greatest A of all time on a T-shirt.
That A. He's our Photoshop guy.
People are still talking about the A. He's the guy that made all the Lamar Jackson Photoshop, which took like two hours apiece.
Yes. All right.
So Shane and Evan, what pick do you want? You pick. What do you think? Three.
You're going three? We'll go three. All right.
So no, that works. That works.
Too much pressure going first. No, that works.
So memes, you go first. Let's go.
Max will go second. Shane and Evan will go third.
Billy fourth. And we'll go around the room.
Okay. So it is snake draft.
That way we need to stay in a circle because otherwise we're fucked. Don't you agree? Yeah, yeah.
Don't you agree? Yep. There's no way we're going to remember if we jump around.
I'm just picking last? Yeah, but then you get two in a row. I'm fucked.
All right, so snake. Snake draft.
Why are you fucked? Because snake draft. Everyone's equal.
Everyone's out to get you. That's the whole point of a snake draft.
I like getting too close together. How quickly do you think we're going to get through the draft before we start picking guys who have already been picked? I'm on top of this.
But still, how quickly? Four picks. I was going to say.
I don't know if my guys are still playing. All right, Derek G.
Eames, let's go. Again, the worst thing we've ever done.
Let's try to do it quickly. Let's do quick picks.
Oh, no. Also, say their position.
I'm going to take Otani. Okay.
Oh, wow. Otani's DH.
DH, right? Max took Schwarber. Max took Schwarber.
Left field. Am I writing in all the picks or are we writing in all our computers? I think you're writing in all the picks.
We got to slow it down a little bit because I'm color coding them. Yeah.
I think you're writing it on the picks. We've got to slow it down a little bit.
Because I'm color coding them. I think you're writing it on the picks.
Okay, hold on. Maybe we should make everybody write in their own picks.
Good pick. Good pick.
I was shocked that he had 46 home runs last year. Dude, he's a fucking beast.
I know. That's a lot.
Both are good picks.

Schwerber's a left fielder.

We can help you with this.

All right.

Memes and Evan.

Sorry, Shane and Evan.

We're going to go Matt Olson.

Okay.

First baseman, Atlanta Braves.

Never heard of him.

Big fan of the podcast.

Is he?

Love him.

He went as big cat for Halloween.

I've never heard of him.

We've got to get him on.

I mean, I've never heard of him We gotta get him on I mean like

I've never heard of him

Because I just

Stare at him all the time

Because that's how much

I love him

Shout out Matt Olson

AWL

Let's get him on the show

Can we get him on the show?

Matt Olson's probably like

Who the fuck

Are Shane and Evan?

I'm on their team?

That's not yellow

Fingers only

Alright Billy you're up

I'm going either with Huey

Oh no

Aaron Judge

It's... Shane and Evan.
I'm on their team? That's not yellow. Fingers only.

All right, Billy, you're up.

I'm going either with Huey.

Oh, no.

Aaron Judge.

Here you go.

You can't say either.

That was Huey.

Huey Jennings has been hit the most.

Aaron Judge.

Aaron Judge.

Aaron Judge.

Okay.

I'll go with the leader at the time of this recording.

Pete Alonzo.

Who's hurt. Good pick.
Nice pick. Pete Alonzo.
He's out for like five weeks. Great.
That's a tough start for Jake. Tough start for Jake.
If I had said Huey Jennings, would you guys have made me have Huey Jennings? Yes. We'd make you have the person you drafted.
Yes. When you say a name, that's your draft.
Huey Jennings played in the 50s. Okay.
He's been hit 280 times in his career. So you looked up an old? I was looking at who's been hit the most.
And so you were going to pick a guy who's been hit the most. I did.
I forgot. Craig Biggio.
Okay. Hank.
This is a no-brainer. I'm just going based off the people, the highlights I want to see, the dingers I want to see the most, Vlad Jr.
Yeah, great swing. Good one.
He hits the ball. I want to get tagged in those tweets.
I want to see the videos. Give me all of his dingers.
I'm going the same way, Hank. Former Cub.
I'll go Jorge Soler for the Marlins. He fucking hits nukes.
Can't play in cold though that's not a problem miami not a problem at all that was the best one in like april he would he would be wearing like a a wetsuit trying to hit dingers okay uh pft you have two picks i got two picks back to back i'm gonna go first of all yordan alvarez nice he's a big mashing boy too When he mashes, the haters get smashed. I got two picks.
Back to back. I'm going to go, first of all, Jordan Alvarez.
Nice. He's a big mashing boy, too.

When he mashes, the payters get smashed.

Also hurt.

Fuck.

But he's a VH.

That's okay.

How hurt is he?

MRI.

MRI is what I've seen.

He hit a dinger the other night.

Yeah, yeah.

No, because I wanted to take him, too, and then I looked it up earlier,

and it was like, oh, yeah.

Will the Astros be able to compete without Jordan Alvarez? Welcome to the club, PFT. Might not be back until after the All-Star break.
This is fucking Adalberto Mondesi all over again. That was, you know what, PFT, can I just say that when you picked it, I was pissed I didn't pick him.
Yeah. So I also didn't know you.
It was a nice pick. It was a good pick.
I mean, that home run in the World Series. Iconic.
It was. Was.
Okay. All right.
I'm going. That's your DH pick.
That's my DH pick. I'm going to take my hit by pitcher guy.
Ooh. At shortstop, I'm going Josh Smith from the Texas Rangers.
Ooh. This guy loves to get hit by baseballs.
He loves it so much. And I also looked up the list, and he follows me on Twitter.
So that's basically why I picked him. Josh Smith, I'm going to be rooting so hard for you to get hit.
It's 10 points. I think it was worth one hit by pitches.
I was wondering if this was like a kicker situation where you want to save it or not. Yeah, I know.
It's like, is there going to be a run now? We don't really know. Does his home no no i'm about to follow josh smith right now he's going to be like why did pft just follow him you'll find out josh you'll find out in due time my friend okay i am going to now i'm worried about injured guys how do you search whether guys oh wait oh oh wait josh smith's last tweet was thank you to everyone who reached out and sent prayers i'm doing fine and will hopefully be back on the field no way no way who's that april 4th so he's back so okay he's back he probably got hit by a pitch back he's back he's all the way back uh okay i'm caught oh my god no he got hit and he got hit in the head with a pitch oh and was and he was going to die Alright, this is bad.
This is a bad start to my draft. Should we do 20 points for concussion? Jeez Alright Now I got to root for this guy to keep getting beaned Yeah, I'm going to pick because I'm going in front of Hank Just hoping he comes back ever.
Oh, this is fucked up. Yeah.
I'm going to take Mookie Betts, right fielder. Okay.
Dodgers. Good pick.
Thank you. I was going to take him.
I knew you were. But I will go with my third baseman, current Red Sox, Red Sox, Raphael Devers.
Ice cream cones, right? Yeah. Raphae Bigscoops.
Show it from Carabas. Raphae Bigscoopscoots leave that name he wished me happy birthday today shout out to him I text him all the time I felt bad because our last text was him texting me happy birthday and then he was like even though you didn't say anything to me this past year wait you had back to back happy from him yeah oh that's brutal at least he made it he made it you know that's brutal he made it a joke but it was like yeah but we talk on instagram we talk on instagram dms like we it's not that's weird no it's you know reply to a story be like yeah okay he built a gym in his basement and i was like this is fucking sick oh dude he sent me a video of his house.
He basically bought a house in Saugus, and the whole house is a gym. Yeah, no, I know.
His living room is a gym. So we have talked, but seeing it in the text thread was tough.
About like a four-bedroom house. And I was joking.
I was like, if we're not friends on Facebook, I don't know when your birthday is. We are friends on Facebook.
It's not even a thing that I'm- Double wh it was tough whatever love you jared okay uh jake yeah so i took an injured player pete alonso this looks like three to four weeks so not not the end of the world okay um i'm gonna go we should start the stats after this show airs no no no no no we're fair that way 14 so um i can't wait to root i'm this is the whole point of this was to turn on my notifications right we're done it's gonna be awesome all these players um so you can do that for just singular players maybe on the mlb app i'll look into it or the oh yeah you might be right yeah i'll look into it i'll let you guys know um so for hit by pitch there's i'm looking at the active leaders on baseball reference. Is Huey there?

I don't think so.

What's his name?

Really?

No, he's like number one all time.

What's his name?

Huey Jennings.

I was about to pick him.

I didn't realize. Number one hit by pitch player is 207 and second is 151.

So I'm taking Anthony Rizzo at 207.

Okay.

I'm going to hit by pitch 207 times.

He's my hit by pitcher.

He's good.

He's good at that.

Very good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Billy.

I'm taking Mike Trout.

Smart.

Please don't be hurt.

Please don't be hurt.

Pick.

Oh, man.

I should have taken Mike Trout.

Mike Trout.

Dude, I'm diesel right now.

Trout center field.

Yeah, Billy right now.

Judge is Trout. Billy.
Yeah. That's solid, Billy.
Yanderthal ball. Oh, man.
Judge is also hurt, by the way. What? Toe into.
What? You're a Yankees fan, Billy. Unknown timetable on that one.
Unknown timetable. Dude, he was playing when I saw him.

What was that?

I got pissed about the pitch clock.

Like a month ago.

TJ, we'll do a great after each two rounds when it comes back.

All right, who's up?

Shane and Evan.

Shane and Evan.

We're going to go with Adoles Garcia.

Okay.

He is outfield.

I think he is.

On the Rangers.

Yep.

Right fielder.

He's right fielder.

Yep.

I feel like fucking Shane might be.

Yeah, he knows what he's doing.

Real wild card.

He had three MLB games on in the middle of the day.

Jesus Christ.

Wow.

Look at all these right fielders in gray right now.

I mean, that's our position.

Dude, Aaron Judge has turf toe.

Oh, no.

That sucks.

This is a great time capsule.

Apparently, it was when he went through the gate to make that catch.

Ah, shit.

That was a sick catch, though.

It was sick.

Okay, Max.

I'm going to get my catcher out of the way here. Salvador Perez could be hurt.
I haven't checked. Whatever.
It's good. He's a good player.
He was on the Seamhead Express last year. Very good player.
Okay. And then memes to complete the second round.
I'll go with Ronald Acuna. Okay.
Good one. TJ, quick grades.
Hank had the worst pick. Vlade Guerrero is not in the top 60 in home runs this year.
Aside from the injured guys, that's a really bad pick. But he does hit home runs, TJ.
Yeah, he's a tank ass, but he only has nine home runs this season. Play for Georgia.
Oh, man. It's early.
It is early. Not really.
Not really at all. It's the 4th of July.
This is running for the all-star break. He's going to get hot.
All right, Beams, you got another one. What do you got, Beams? I'll go with Ozzie Alves.
Ooh, okay. So you're just going all Braves.
I don't hate that strategy. Just watch Braves games.
Braves never lose. I'm going to go with Bryce.
Okay. What position has he been playing this year? DH.
Okay. Because he was like, weren't they trying him out of first base too? No.
Yeah, they talked about it, but he hasn't really played. Okay, Shane and Evan.
We're going to go with Bo Bichette, shortstop. Great name.
Fun to watch him swing, too. I'm going to say right now I'm so lost on who is still available.
We're only in the third. Are you looking at the...
Yeah, I just saw him. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Bo Bichette, shortstop. Okay.
Great hair. Maybe the best hair in MLB right now.'s a great name Yeah Great baseball name Great baseball name Not as good as Pete LeCocq Alright go ahead Oh fuck Billy I'm trying to figure out if this guy's injured Or if he's still alive Yeah He's a player that was born in the 19th century? I'm going with J.D.
Martinez. Okay.
Designated hitter. All right.
The Dodgers. Sox legend.
It is weird seeing, you know, for maybe some people that listen to this show maybe aren't locked into baseball, but they have the DH in the National League now, and it's it's weird to see oh yeah i knew that breaking news yeah i'm saying obviously we know that but there's probably people listening that are like what dh on the dodgers how does that work now we're not going to see like a pitcher hitter like shohei otani like that's pointless shohei otani is a pitcher and he does hit i know but he picked the one guy that When he pitches, does he hit? I'm not going to see people... Dontrell Willis was a pitcher that he could rake.
Oh, Zambrano fucking raked. What's the point of knowing how to pitch and knowing how to hit if you can't do it in the same game? Lincecum hit, too.
Yeah, he had... Yeah, Jake Arrieta.
Yeah. Yeah.
Remember when john lester hit his one home run that was electric when bartolo cologne hit his one home run yep that was awesome okay who's up there's on me we talked about it yeah i'm gonna go with randy or rosarena left fielder tampa bay okay they're like really good yeah i have a future on the raise uh i'm gonna say billy Hold on. Stupid questions.
He had a thought. He had a thought.
Give're really good. Yeah, I have a future on the Rays.
What were you going to say, Billy?

Hold on.

He had a thought.

Give it to us.

It's not the double Rays anymore.

Does Otani get paid way more because he can do both?

I don't know what his contract...

I mean, he's still on his first contract.

He will get paid a massive, massive amount of money.

If he can pitch and hit, they should pay him as a pitcher.

It's two players.

And he's very good at both. Yeah.
He will get paid a shitload of money. Like if he can pitch and hit, they should pay him as a pitcher and hit.
He's two players. Yeah.
And he's very good at both. Yeah.

He will get paid a shitload of money.

Like he should get like way more money.

He's going to get a lot of money. He should get like two contracts

worth of money. He's going to get a lot of money.

Okay.

Let's make it. Okay.

Hank. People can call me a fake

fan. I don't care.
Just

moved to Chicago. I will

be watching a lot more Cubs games. I'm going to

try and get into the Cubs. Try and you know

Thank you. Hank.
People can call me a fake fan. I don't care.
Just moved to Chicago. I will be watching a lot more Cubs games.
I'm going to try and get into the Cubs. Cheer him on.
For that reason alone, I'm taking Patrick Wisdom. I was going to say, there's not a lot going on, but Patrick Wisdom does rake.
He hits him in bunches. Yeah.
You already took a third baseman. Oh, no, Hank.
Damn. Rivers.
Shit. Tuck blocked.
Unless you want to make Wisdom your hit-by-pitch guy. Or else he's ineligible.
Nah. You're passing? Yeah, I'll take.
No, Muncie's third base, too. Fuck.
Give me a Cunha Jr. gone yeah give me Jake Berger nope third base Lindor I think he's available okay sure yeah Lindor shortstop okay I will go with um I'll take Max Muncy even though he has a hamstring.
Damn it. I'll take Max Muncy.
Pick. It's not that bad of a hamstring.
You're all going to have an injured player. I read it.
An even playing field. He's not going to go on the IL.
Yeah. Okay.
Max Muncy. All right.
I am going to take a player that has not been drafted yet. And that do this.

I'm going to,

you know what?

I'm going to take Patrick wisdom.

Nice.

Third base.

I hope he hits so many home runs.

Yeah.

I hope he does too.

I'm rooting for him.

And then next I'm going to go with.

Has Nolan Gorman been picked yet?

I don't believe so.

All right, I got Gorman.

Second base. Second base, filling out the infield.

Okay.

Okay, I am going to go with center fielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

The stunner of the season so far, Jack Swinsky.

All right, good pick.

Yeah.

Jack Swinsky.

He fucking crushes balls.

Thank you. Pittsburgh Pirates.
The stunner of the season so far, Jack Swinsky. All right, good pick.

Yeah.

Jack Swinsky.

He fucking crushes balls.

Chicago guy.

Oh, Swinsky.

Hank, you're up.

Oh, I thought it was 50.

I'm going to go with.

Shout out to everyone who's listening right now.

You know what?

For the AWLs I was watching.

I was like, this is quiet.

No one's watching.

This is brutal. I'm going to get drunk.
Drink a beer because guess what? It's July 3rd and there's no way you have work today. So drink along with us as we draft.
Why the fuck is the baseball Reddit just r-baseball private? What the fuck? They get accepted. No, it's the fucking...
They know you're not a seam head. Oh, aren't they striking right now? Reddit's all fucked up.
Is Reddit on strike or something? It's like third party... TJ, quick explanation of what's going on.
Subreddits are just all locked up and messed up right now. Got it.
My choice or coinc... Billy, were you going to just quickly be like, hey, I'm doing a dingers only league.
Everyone drop your favorite dingers. No, no.
I was researching something else. Okay.
I'm'm gonna go with the legend from brazil yan gomes nice that's your Chicago cubs fun to say yan too oh shit i'm coming up soon fuck um i'm gonna go with this guy who's been all over twitter since he got called up ellie De La Cruz on the Reds. Everyone's been talking about him.
Yeah. Nice.
Took the pick with the kids. Yeah.
Yes. That group, what was it? Oh, yeah, those guys.
All right, I have a question about that, not to distract from the draft. No, no, this is good.
Billy, you think while we talk about some of them. Motherfuckers are locked.
All the Reddits. What is that? Use MLB.com.
ESPN, dude. Reddit is Billy's brain.
Yeah. That's what you feel to understand.
I like that. I like that.
LaCruz. It says he's multiple positions on Reds.com.
He's a shortstop. Billy's like, where do I get all my opinions from now? He hit his first home run as a walk-off, and then everyone was online being like, if I caught a home run, I would negotiate for so much.
I would ask for this. That's Revell.
What would you actually, like, because everyone says that, but it's kind of like being in a real negotiation. Like, would you actually have the balls to really try and negotiate something sick? Or I feel like what he got compensated for what he did, which is just catch a home run ball, was pretty fair.
Yeah, I think I would. I think if it was like Aaron Judge's last year, you'd ask for money.
But a first home run, it's like, what do you expect? Yeah, for a first home run, I think you could probably get away with doing, like, free ticket to a game, all you can drink. Yeah.
That seems like a fair trade, right? Yeah. That one in particular, everyone was like, this kid should have asked for more.
And it's like, it's. No, he got, didn't he get a signed bat, too? Yeah, he got everything.
If it was at, like, a Nationals game or a Pirates game where they do the races, I would want to be one of the pierogies that raced. Yeah, if I caught that ball, it would be like, sign bat, picture, let me throw out the first pitch.
What about a record breaker? Record breaker you hold on to and you sell. That's just a fact.
But that guy did hold on to it, tried to auction it, and it didn't go well for him. I would also, also though like if you caught judge's record-breaking home run that wasn't actually the record-breaking home run because the record is 70 uh i would have offered like i would i would offer judge to buy it back for less than what i could get an auction you know what i mean like if i could get 500 000 in auction500,000 in auction, I'd be like, judge, let's do $250,000,

sign some stuff.

Like, I'm not going to be a dick about it.

Cash.

Because then you don't have to pay taxes.

I think the Derek Cheater $3,000 hit

was like an all-time fleece by the Yankees.

What'd they get?

Oh, yeah.

Because it was a home run.

It was a home run.

He got it.

And he settled for, like, playoff tickets in a suite.

Oh, no.

And he was like $6,000 in debt.

Oh.

They took him in the back and, like,

Thank you. And he settled for like playoff tickets in a suite.
And he was like 6K in debt. Oh.
They took him in the back and like. I would want a gift basket.
A sleepover and a gift basket. Okay.
So I've been trying to find who my hit by pitch guy. Wait.
So we've been doing all this and you still don't have a pick? No. I got a guy.
I've been trying to figure out who's the most hated man in baseball currently that people want to hit oh that's a good that's what that was my strategy like a guy who like is going to get beamed and i'd love to know where reddit factors into how you're going to because all the the threads were who's the most hated hated man in baseball right now i was trying to find because i think like jose altuve like everyone's over hating him because he was your pants. I think it's the fans and the media.
You still don't know. I'm going Carlos.
Oh, fuck. Is he even playing? Carlos Correa.
Okay. Wait.
As you're hit by pitch. Shortstop.
You already said it. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. Okay, perfect.
So you're playing it. You're using him as your hit by pitch guy? Yep.
Carlos Correa. Yeah..
I think he probably hits a lot of home runs. No? Might.
I mean, I took Rizzo. Well, by taking him as my hit-by-pitch guy, you guys can't have him.
Correct. Just move.
Defense. Smart.
All right, Shane and Evan. We're going to go with Nolan Gorman.
He's gone. Second no.
Just do command F in the sheet to double check. I got it.
We're going to go Francisco Alvarez. Catch him.
Okay. I am going to I'm going to go with Tatis.
Good pick. I think he's playing right field this year.

Francisco Alvarez.

Okay.

Yes, sir.

I'm putting a bounty on Carlos Correa's head.

Any MLB pitcher who hits him will get something.

Suck their dick.

Sure.

He's going to suck your dick good.

Yeah, that's bad bounty.

Yeah, it's terrible bounty.

We can chill.

Worst bounty.

Tour of the Barstool office.

Okay, who's up?

I'm going to go with Freddie Freeman.

Okay.

Beams loves the Braves.

Freeman loves on the Dodgers.

He's on the Dodgers.

But he does love the Braves.

And then he's legend.

Nolan Arenado.

Ooh, okay.

Third base. Third base.

Yep.

All right.

Is it Max?

This is me.

I'm going to go with Bo Bichette.

Nice.

Taken.

Taken.

Taken.

Great pick, though.

Great value.

Great value. Great value.
All right. now I'm all thrown For a loop here I was pretty This was definitely Gonna happen Correa Only in round 5 Correa by the way Has the same amount Of home runs As Vlade Jr Okay Why are you hating On Vlade Jr That was a bad first round.
He is a stud.

Not in the top 60.

All right.

He was last year.

Shit.

Give him some time.

All right.

My next pick was also already taken.

Real players don't heat up until after the All-Star break.

Everyone knows that.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'll go with

Julio Rodriguez.

Okay.

Center field.

We are going to go with Corbin Carroll.

Let's go. I'll go with Julio Rodriguez.
Okay.

Center field.

We are going to go with Corbin Carroll, left field.

Nice.

Diamondbacks.

Has anyone taken Jordan Alvarez yet?

Yeah, you can look that up also on the sheet.

I took him in the first round.

Whose pick is it now?

Max?

It's Billy.

Oh.

TJ, did you have a grade of that?

Was that a full two rounds?

That was the end of the fourth, yeah.

Worst pick in those two rounds?

Do you have the spreadsheet in front of you?

I guess, no.

Yeah, probably because he had some runs.

Okay.

No, yeah, but also to take away home runs for other people.

Sure.

Think about the negative home run.

You're right.

Yeah.

I'm underthinking it.

Two steps ahead. I'm going with Bretttt do we do sorry brent rooker sounds good brent rooker i'm very close to motioning for billy to put on auto draft i would if i could i'm like i'm i got aaron judge and mike trout i like that's auto-draft.
Good names. You got good names.
Yeah. Great names.
Okay. My turn.
I'll go with Chicago guy, Luis Robert. Okay.
Center fielder. White Sox.
15 homers at the time of this recording. Okay.
I'm going to take a left fielder here. I need to fill out my left field.
I'm torn between two people. I am too, so I'm probably going to take the one you don't take.
I'm going to take a left fielder here I need to fill out my left field I'm torn between two people I am too so I'm probably going to take the one you don't take I'm going to give it to you Oh I don't want that one He is who you deserve He's more tied to the show He's more tied to you and PFT So I'm going to take Juan Soto That's who I wanted But you have to take now Yeah I'll take Christian Yelich. Damn it.
Wait, I need positions. Christian Yelich left field.
I mean, if I'm going to have. With left field.
Guys, just be gentlemen and fill in your own. I am.
Rosters. God damn it.
It helps you keep track of what you need and what you don't. Yeah, no, it does.
Whatever. Christian Yelich, he's going to do it for me.
He stinks. The fact that they were right next to each other, it was like, I should take Juan Soto, but also Yelich.

Yeah.

You could have stuck in it to me more when Christian Yelich.

You want to trade?

No.

First trade of the season?

For a different player.

No.

No, no, no.

We have to trade position for position.

Yeah, I know.

I'm saying, like, let me free up, I guess.

No, I wanted. I wanted.

Wait, did you take. I want Wisdom.
That's one. Wisdom? I got Wisdom.
Yeah. What do you have? Devers.
Nah, I like Wisdom. Okay, PFT, you have two picks.
That stands. Soto Yellich? Yeah, I have Yellich.
All right, I got two picks, so I'm going to go with Conforto. Has he been taken? I don't believe so.
Okay, I'm going right fielder. Right fielder.
Wait, left fielder. Right fielder.
Right fielder. Right fielder, San Francisco.
Going by ESPN MLB. Yep, right fielder.
So for my next pick after that, I'm going to go with Julio Rodriguez.

Damn it.

Great pick.

Wait.

I don't think someone took him.

Max did.

I did, yep.

Oh, you did?

Oh, shit.

You just wrote J-Rod.

Oh, if you look at the top, I'm writing the snake draft.

All right.

I'm going to go with first baseman, Milwaukee Brewer, Rowdy Tellez.

Nice.

He's a great name.

Great name to root for.

Nice.

Nice.

Okay, so I am up.

This is getting tough, boys.

Yeah.

It's getting really tough.

Let's see.

Let's see.

I want to make sure that he hasn't hit it in bunches.

Has he gotten? Oh, no. He hasn't hit a home run in fucking forever.
You know what? I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it because I have a future on this team.
I'm going to take Ryan Mountcastle, first baseman, Baltimore Orioles.

Ryan.

35-1.

My three futures this year, Orioles 35-1, Rays 13-1,

and the Chicago Cubs 100-1.

Not looking so good.

It was actually funny because when I put in the Cubs at 100-1,

they then went down to 60-1, and I was like, damn, great value by me.

They're back to 100-1.

So, not so great.

Go, Cubs, go.

Here we go.

I want the Cubs. Chicago, what do you say?

All right.

I'm going to take my designated hitter, and I'm going to take Marcel Ozuna.

Nice.

Atlanta Braves, 13 dingers on the year. That's about the extent of what I know about him.
Used to play for the Marlins. I think he's dealt or dealing with some legal troubles.
Great. Outlaw.
That means he's got to play harder. He's got legal fees to pay.
Oh, yeah. He had that DUI video? I don't know.
Something. I don't know.
I want to handcuff him, Hank. I mean, listen.
This isn't an ethic. Who was it? Who did you pick? Marcelo Zuna.
I think maybe it was him. Oh, no.
Fuck. What? I just searched him.
He provides an update on his status after exiting last night's game following a hit-by-pitch on his right wrist. That's the thing.
Hit-by-pitch guy is dangerous because you get 10 points, but you get hurt. All right, Cheek.
He's day-to-day. He's fine.
410-foot single. What a beast.
That's a guy that's a dingers-only guy. If you're hitting 410-foot singles, only guys that hit dingers can do that.
Oh, that means he doesn't hustle. No, yeah.
That's a guy that hits dingers, though. That's a guy that hits the ball and is like, that's on here.
He's like, that one's gone. Yeah.
Okay. I'm going to go right fielder Hunter Renfro.
Okay. Just hit a homer two minutes ago, so maybe he'll get hot for tomorrow.
There you go. Jake just

walked up to the

roulette wheel. Back-to-back

numbers. He's like, oh, shit.

Just it.

Okay. Billy?

Bobby Witt Jr.

Bobby Witt Jr.

He is a

shortstop? Yep. Oh, yeah.

Shortstop. B-Witt.

Nice. Bob Dub.
Nice. Nice.
Alright, who's up? Shane and Evan. We're going to go with Jose Ramirez.
Third base. That's a good pick.
He's going to get hot. Indians? Guardians? Sorry.
Guardians? Do you think that historically you're allowed to refer to them as the Indians? Did the Cubs beatubs beat the Indians? The Cubs beat the Indians. They beat the Indians, yeah.
But then doesn't that open the dollar's box? What if they played again? It would be the Guardians. It's like, yeah, wow.
Redskins won the Super Bowl. They did.
They won three of them, actually. I mean, it's like Baltimore Colts.
Indy Abner's Colts. Yeah, it is what it is.
It's part of our history, Hank. It's shameful as it is.
They changed it, yeah. Okay, who's up? Max.
If it's so bad to change it, why don't they retroact? I am going to go with... Oh, I work.
Paul Goldschmidt. Okay.
Cardinals. First base.
That doesn't sound like a guy that hits dingers. He does.
What does that mean? Sounds like a guy that does your taxes What does that mean Hank? It just sounds like a normal It just sounds like a normal account Sounds like a guy that what? What else do you want to add to that? Maybe your doctor or your lawyer Maybe goes to church on Saturday Kind of guy No it just doesn't What if his last name was just Schmidt? What would you say then? It just doesn't sound like a guy. It doesn't jump off the page as a guy that hits dingers.
He does hit dingers. We'll see.
Okay. Who's up? I'm going to go with Sean Murphy, catcher, Braves.
Okay. Loading on the Braves.
Loves this.

I like that strategy.

I really do.

Yeah.

I mean, they're a good team.

They're going to hit fingers.

And then at shortstop, Willie Adamas.

Okay.

It's on Tampa.

Oh, yeah.

I'm up, right?

Yep.

Well, it was the end of the sixth round.

Yeah, TJ. Oh, end of the sixth round, TJ.

I like the Soto pick was the best out of that bunch, I think. I, Mike.
Damn. TJ.
He's going to heat up. Yep.
Stay tuned. Ooh.
What about Yelich? He's going to heat up, maybe. Okay, who's up? I'm up.
This might be stupid because I don't know when he's coming back, but he's such a vibes guy. I'm going to go with Jazz Chisholm.

Oh, nice. Marlins are hot right now.
Great name. He's hurt right now, but he's just such a guy.
That sounds like a guy that hits dingers. Jazz Chisholm? Yes.
Like, hits dingers, fucks bitches. Jazz Chisholm.
What if his name was Shlomo Chisholm? Second base, Max? What if his last name is at now? Second base. Chism.

They have Chism playing center field because Arise is at second.

Look at Shane.

Okay.

Baseball reference has second base shortstop. Oh, but Shane just said, where is he playing every day, Shane?

Center field.

There it is.

Shane.

All right, now I'm all out of the list.

Do you have a center fielder?

No.

Yes, I do. No, I meant like available.
Sorry. I don't.
I'm so excited for this. All right.
Fine. Fuck it.
I'll take Labor then. Okay.
He's playing second, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Good pick. We are going to go with Marcus Simeon, second base.
Whoa. Okay.
Billy. I'm going with Jake Berger, third base.
Okay. Berger sounds dope.
I'm going to go with Brandon Lau, second baseman, Tampa Bay. Okay.
Okay. Great pick.

My original plan was to just pick a bunch of Chicago Cubs and White Sox,

but then I realized not a lot of them hit dingers,

so that ran its course.

But now I think I'm just going to be a pods guy.

Okay.

I live in San Diego.

I'm taking Tatis Jr.

All right.

Took him already?

So long ago.

So long ago.

What the fuck?

Great pick, though.

Yeah.

When?

Like 15 minutes ago.

It's not even.

Dude, he's.

Roy's.

He's on the old school.

Fourth round.

Fourth round.

Oh, Brandon Lau just went on the injured list.

Oh, damn.

This draft is awesome.

This is awful.

I'm having a great time.

I'm having a great time. I will take Teoscar Hernandez, right fielder, Seattle Mariners.
Okay. You took Vlad Jr.
as a right fielder. Oh, Hank, we are.
No, Vlad's a first baseman. Shane? Yeah, Shane, can we get a ruling on Vlad's positioning? I'm sorry? Can we get a ruling on Vlad's positioning? What about his positioning? I think he's drunk too.
What? Yeah, you're right. What position has Vlad been playing? First base.
Okay.

He's listed on ESPN first.

I color coded.

So Vlad's your first baseman, so orange.

And then Teoscar Hernandez.

Yes.

Right fielder.

Okay.

Damn.

Tati Soto, one-two punch would have been great. Half my team is hurt.

Okay, I'm going to take...

Actually, you want to trade?

No, thank you.

Sure.

No, thank you. Oh, wait.
Has this guy been picked? Sure. This is getting tough.
Yeah, but even if your guys hurt, the other teams aren't guaranteed to score while they're hurt. That's what's great about dingers only.
Dingers only. I'm trading a guy that has 11 home runs for a guy that has 12.
That's good value. I'll give you something else, Max.
We can do a double trade if you want. No, thank you.
You're fun. You're a lot of fun.
I like the vibe. Tatis is a vibes guy.
I mean, that's a guy in one of my clubhouse. He's always suspended.
His teammates hate him. Nah, he's a great guy.
I'll give you Jan Gomes. No, thank you.
Alright, I'm going to take Wander Franco. What position? Shortstop.
Rays. Okay.
All right, good pick. I'm just picking teams, guys from teams that I have bets on.
I'm going to go with Siri. Oh, yeah, I saw that.
From the Rays. What position? Centerfield.
And then I'm going to go with Dalton Varshow. Blue Jay.
Big BJ. Nice.
Left field. I'm so stupid.
I should have taken Danzy Swanson. If you want him, if you need a shortstop, Hank.
Let's go with... I'll go with Estry Ruiz.
Are you serious? Are you looking at my computer? Are you looking at my computer? No, I'm sure we have the same exact thing pulled up. MLB baseball player stats hit by pitch.
He's leading the league. He's a hit by pitch player? He's leading the league with 12.
What is it? Estuary Ruiz? Yes. Estuary, like a river? He's got 12.
Small river. He's got 120 points.

That's incredible.

Yeah.

I need him to keep up the pace.

I mean, what?

Pirate Simon's calling me.

Pirate Simon?

It just went away.

That was wild.

Did you pick up?

I was about to.

It might be an accident.

What a steal by me.

Yeah, literally.

I had him.

He's leading the league. I had him pulled up Damn Damn Okay That changes everything Alright I will go with Zach Netto What position? Hit by pitch Los Angeles No S3 Ruiz No S3 Ruiz.
No S3 Ruiz.

Mark that if that changes the league.

That pick right there.

It could be huge.

Round eight, pick two.

That could be huge.

All right, Jake.

All right.

I'm going to go.

Actually, he's humming along.

Yeah, we got two and a half rounds.

Hello?

Pirate Simon's calling him.

About dialing me? Okay, next. next I'm gonna go third baseman Make sure I have third baseman What does he do nowadays Third baseman for the Braves Austin Riley I can tell ya We play Kyle with him I'm going with Yandy Diaz As my First baseman He He's listed as first baseman.
Can I take him already? No, I took Wander Franco. You were thinking of Yon Gomes? I command F'd Yandy.
So Yandy Diaz, first base? Yeah, but for some reason he's listed as third base sometimes. Shane, can you weigh in?

What's up?

Is Andy Diaz a first baseman or a third baseman?

He's first.

Cool.

Nice.

Good pick, Billy.

All right, Shane and Evan.

Who are you thinking?

We're going to go Jonathan India for our hit-by-pitch guy.

Okay.

Jonathan India is sixth right now hit by pitches eight he has on the season 10th last year he's working his way up yeah he's got all your stats um i'm gonna go i'm gonna go another phil trey turner sure slow start but he's coming back That What position, Max? Vintage Max talking himself into a pick. Yeah.
Sure. He said sure to no one.
I was going to take Trey Turner. Max, what position? Is he listed as shortstop? Yeah, shortstop.
Are you sure, Max? No, he's just sure. No, no, yeah.
No, yeah. No, no, yeah.
That's Max. All right, memes.
I got a question. And this is very no one, no one who's listening right now is going to know what we're talking about.
Does Cream live in the office? DJ? He's a Viva Hours car. Let's walk by.
Yeah, it's Tuesday night. Him, Jack Mack, and Travi for the boys are in the cave right now.

It's 1130.

All right, I like that.

Grinding.

You got to add you and Bubba to that list, TJ.

That's the Viva Hours.

That's the Viva Hours.

Somebody's got to keep the lights on around here.

Our Fasoli, some may call him, legendary guy.

He's already moved to Chicago.

He said that anyone who works past 6 p.m. Is it 6 p.m Yeah, they call that Viva hours Viva hours have now begun It's man time dudes only.
Okay Who's up? I'm gonna go with Jared Kalanick. Yep Mariners This is good.
We're learning names Jared Kalanick. What position about? Yeah.
I feel like that's the beauty of this is that you. Yeah, we start following guys.
We need an update from TJ because we have eight down. Oh, yeah.
I think there's a lot of value left on the board. I feel like you guys are playing to the list too much and not to the names.
Some names on here. Do you think about my Tatis? Oh, we're kind of boxed in because we can only pick one position.
Yeah.

If you scroll down a little bit, though, there's some huge name guys

that came off injuries after the start of the year.

Yeah, we're just looking at current leaders.

Yeah, that are going to hit 30 home runs in the rest of the year.

Any center fielders you would take?

Oh, don't give him a tip.

I keep seeing C and thinking center. It's catcher.
I'll go with Jazz Chisholm. He's taken.
No, he wasn't taken. He wasn't taken.
Oh, yeah, because Hank couldn't take him. A center fielder? Yeah.
It's good value. It's a great name.
Make a list of names that you would pick that you can tell us at the end Who's up? This would be me You sound excited Hurry up Do you feel any pressure as the person who played baseball longest On this show? For sure Oh, wait a minute Let me just make sure we don't have an injury, and then I'm good. Three, two.
Oh, shit. Manny Machado.
Good pick. Is that one of the names you were thinking of, TJ? Yes.
Oh, let's go. You guys can see my computer screen.
Manny Machado. It's the Third base? To be fair, TJ also gave me a name that I didn't take because of the integrity of the game.
Jake, I think I deserve some credit for that. That's huge.
What was the name? I'm not going to tell you. That's not integrity at all.
Really? No, Shane and Evan. Shane and Evan.
We're going to go with Adam Duvall, center fielder. Fuck you.
Duvall. I'm going with Gary Sanchez at catcher.
He's been on like three teams this year. He's been on the way for fire.
Oh, Gary. A lot longer than the best nickname, El Gary.
Dude, but he, what do you mean? Wait, Shane and Evan. Adam Duvall is what position? Center field.
Center field purple. Okay, so Billy took Gary.

What's wrong with Gary Sanchez?

Oh, he's great.

I loved him on the Yankees.

He's just like not guaranteed to be in the league.

Why not?

Because he's been on the Mets.

He's been on, I think, the Twins.

But he's hitting dingers.

He's got five home runs this season.

Can't catch.

Can't call a game.

Oh, shit.

He's having a bad year I can't switch my pick can I Nope Nope Fuck You cannot Nope He's like a better hitter than he is a catcher Yeah I should take him as your DH Fuck Who's up Wait do a homerun If he's a catcher and Yeah, I should take him as your DH. Fuck.
Who's up? What?

Wait, do you homeruns?

Who's up?

If he's a catcher and he's at DH for a game,

does that count?

All right, go, Jake.

There's no way that anyone's going to catch on to that.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah, then I can pay attention.

Let's go.

I'm going to go with Adley Rushman. Okay, nice.
Superstar. Superstar.
What's your Baltimore? All right, Hank. Did I steal him from you? No, you did not.
Ayan Gomes. Yeah.
I'm going to take my, I believe I need a center fielder. I'm going to take my center fielder.
Mass guy. Grew up with his cousin.
Great name. Legendary name.
Mike Yastrzemski. Center fielder.'m gonna take my center fielder mass guy grew up with his cousin great name legendary name mike ischremsky center fielder san francisco giants hey good pick good pick good pick uh all right I have uh pick I'm gonna go with I grew up with his cousin his cousin didn't have the same last name as just chrumpsky always always felt bad it does suck you gotta They just changed call your scum.
She, she's grandson, but people don't know. I'll go with Cal Raleigh from the Seattle Mariners.
Okay. I'm looking at Fangrass right now.
He has eight home runs, minus three and a half. He should have 11 and a half home runs.
So that's a great value. He should have 11 and a half home runs? He should have 11.
He's an underachiever. Okay, got it.
As I'm looking. I just found this list.
I really wish I had it. Kyle Raleigh, second base? Catcher.
Kyle Raleigh, catcher. Seattle Mariners.
Got it. I'm going to go with Adam Frazier, second baseman, Balmer Orles.
Okay. And then I think I'm going to take a shortstop.
Adam Frazier, second base. Yep, second base.
And then at shortstop. Oh, wait.
You took Nolan Gorman. Wait, did I? Yes.
You have Nolan Gorman. Of course.
Yeah, my man, Nolan Gorman. Yeah.
Okay, so you need a catcher testing you need a catcher and shortstop pft oh catcher is nolan gorman a second baseman i have him a second baseman yes i see i don't see red or blue on your team okay i need a i'm gonna go with anthony volpe oh nice yeah he's been playing short Good pick PFT Thanks PFT I looked it up because I was going to maybe Pick him as well and the first Article was Yankees Or Brian Sorry not Brian Cashman what the fuck his name Brett Bo Aaron Boone, says that Anthony Volpe is staying up. Can I answer this? Good.
Well, the question answered. One less thing I have to worry about.
That's never a good conversation to have that you have to ask if he's staying up. Oh, damn it went to voicemail.
What's your question, Hank? No, my freshman year basketball coach, this guy's a legend, Coach DJ, he gets everyone's information information he calls them every year on their birthday he called you just called me but i didn't answer oh call him back whoa freshman year basketball intermission it's time for the final round are you still up i am still up coach dj i'm actually recording i'm recording a podcast right now so you're so you're live on the air. Thank you for calling.

Oh, Henry, I love you.

Fantastic.

I am very glad.

I missed you last year, but I wanted to say happy birthday.

Thank you, Coach.

I appreciate it.

I always appreciate you reaching out.

Yeah.

I'm glad you're on the podcast, and I'm sorry that I'm so old that I actually don't know

what half the things that you do, but I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well.

Appreciate you, Coach.

Hope everything is going well.

Everything is fantastic.

Just went to saw the Citrus guys today playing in Wellesley League,

and they won by two in a buzzer beater.

But, you know, love you guys.

You keep me going.

All of you do.

Love it.

Thanks, Coach.

Absolutely.

Love you. Happy birthday, and keep doing what you're doing.
All right. Love you, too.
Have a good one. You, too.
All right. Bye.
All right. That fucking warmed my heart.
Nice guy. That guy.
That warmed my heart. That guy's the man.
He loves you. He loves you.
He loves you every single year. Holy shit.
How long ago was he your coach? Freshman year of high school. Oh, 16 years ago? Yeah.
Calls you every year? Every one of his players. Oh, my God.
That guy's the man. But he probably just has to call people all the time.
Yeah. That's awesome.
Shout out to Coach TJ. That ruled.
He probably gets to call someone every day. Yeah.
That ruled. That's actually a good strategy.
He's a man. So this is the last round.
So if you at the top, there should be one missing color for your final position. Alright, go ahead.
PFT, did you already pick your last pick? Oh, I get another pick. That's right.
You just took Volpe. Yeah, I took Volpe.
He's definitely staying up. PFT, catcher.
What do you think TJ about Volpe? Is he definitely staying up? Yeah, he's not going to hit a bunch of home runs. Well, you don't know that.
How do you know that. He's a Yankees fan.
I'd say 20 max. Okay, well that's 12 more home runs.
That's a shitload of home runs. 12 more points.
Who would you have taken, TJ? I got a list. I don't want to tip pitches.
Yeah, I bet you do. Alright, so...
That's the catcher. I know.
I know. I need a catcher.
And so, for my catcher, I'm going to take a guy, a little guy. You may have heard of him.
Goes by the name of JT Real Muto. Nice.
Nice. Billy, what do you think about that, Max? I almost took him in like the third round.
But you didn't. I know.
Now I got him. Real Muto, baby.
Big Cat, second. This is a bad pick, but I have to have at least one cub on my team so i'm gonna take nico horner second base sports team he hasn't he hasn't hit a home run like a month uh hank also second baseman yep i'm going strict strictly on name recognition uh kevan biggio yeah so that was the guy i was looking up, and I was like, ooh, he's having a bad year.
Yeah, he is. He's adding 190.
Six home runs, though. Right.
And I looked him up because I was. I got him at 202.
Oh, nice. So when TJ tipped us off, I went and looked deep in the list trying to find someone.
I saw him, and I saw that he hasn't played a ton of games. He's like, oh, did he get injured? He's just sitting a bunch.
Yeah, but he's a biggio.

He had a home run tonight.

Oh.

Bang.

Doesn't count, though.

Doesn't count.

Does not count.

True.

Tomorrow is the first day.

Okay.

Me, I need a DH, and I think this is someone TJ was hinting at.

But Giancarlo Stanton has been injured, and he just did his fifth home run.

Oh, that's a DH. We're home run oh we are really really dumb I almost let that slip but he'll get injured again probably but also hit like 10 home runs before then god damn it shit yeah dh Stanton CJ's I who you're talking about that was on the list yeah damn it we might be the old the only fantasy baseball league that didn't have on Carlos Stanton.
Next year, we're doing this league from game one because Dinger's only rules. Yeah.
So we will be now. I'm going to love tracking this.
Okay, Billy, last pick. Let me just figure out this this guy's healthy.
Going Zach McKinstry. Never mind.
Never mind. Never mind.
That's very close, Billy. Billy, you need a second baseman.
I know. I'm looking.
I worked on this the whole time. I just found out there was projections, too, that you could find.
I've been looking through those.

Okay.

I'm going with Jorge Polanco.

Okay.

That's a good name.

Jorge Polanco.

Twins.

Yeah.

Okay.

Who's up?

Shane and Evan need...

What do they need?

Fuck me.

What's wrong?

Shane and Evan DH. Hey, Polanco.
He's got a torn hamstring. Oh, no.
Are you serious? You're going to have a torn rotator cuff. I know.
But then I can expense the surgery. Sweet.
We're going to go with Justin Turner. Oh.
Red Sox. Okay.
That's a DH? Yep. I will go with Ty.
I'm never going to win this league. I will go with Ty France as my hit-by-pitcher.
Is he up there? In hit? Yeah, he is. He's up there.
He's number two. Who's number one? Ruiz oh yeah that's right that's three ruiz sorry hank that's gonna change that's gonna change that's fate because think about it like juan soto could hit like five more home runs than christian yelich but if estuary ruiz gets just hit by a pitch two more times,

that's insane value.

All right, Mr. Irrelevant.

Memes needs a hit-by-pitch player.

I was going to take time for it.

Andres Jimenez.

Okay.

All right.

My team sucks.

All right, real quick.

Go back through.

My team is trash.

Pitchers for tiebreaker. This is strikeouts.
Strikeouts. Pitchers for tiebreaker.
Let's do it fast. Am I up first? Yeah, just go quick.
I thought we weren't doing anything. Do you not want to be up first? I think I should get to go first.
Oh, yeah. Go first, Piers.
I went last. I'm going to go with Strider.
I'll go with Kevin Gossman. Good pick, Big Cat.
Thank you. This means very little.
No, you don't know that. It means everything.
You know what Max just did? Max ensured that it's going to come down to his pitcher in the last game. Shut up.
This is like picking in the last round where you don't don't think it means anything, but it could mean everything. It could mean for second place, too.
I'll go with Shohei. Nice.
Shohei's been picked, though. Oh, yeah.
Yes, BFT. He gets picked twice.
I'm so happy I didn't pick Shohei. That's embarrassing.
Clayton Kershaw. Dude, was he Dude, was he picked in the first...
Was he the second pick? Well, no, it was the first overall pick. First overall pick.
Clayton Kershaw. Damn, dude.
First overall pick. Clayton Kershaw.
I'll go Gary Cole. Why not? Fuck.
That's what I was... Okay? Shh.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I want to see a word cloud of things that we've said during this draft.

I think it's mostly just fuck.

Yeah.

All right, Billy.

I'm going Shane McClanahan.

Okay.

Yes.

Good pick.

Raise.

We're going to go Hunter Green.

Okay.

Reds.

I will go with Tristan McKenzie. Did somebody pick Gary Cole? Yeah.
Yeah, dude. Sucked.
Zach Wheeler? All right. Go for it.
Wow. How do you not pick Zach Wheeler, Max? Fake fan.
Yeah, I don't know. The pitcher doesn't matter.
It's not going to matter. All right.
Okay. So this is strikeout starting Wednesday, June 14th.
You might be like tied for second. TJ, who'd we leave out? Nick Castellanos.
Hunter Renfro. Oh, we should have taken Castellanos.
Hunter Renfro. Hunter Renfro got taken.
Gunnar Henderson. Okay.
I think he's going to be really good. Bregman.
Did anybody take Bregman? No. Joey Gallo has 11.
There's a guy named Vinny Pasquatino that plays for the Eagles. Joey Gallo has 11 homers? Joey Gallo's destroying the ball.
Pasquatino's hurt right now as well. Oh, my God.
Pascatino? Did anybody take Bellinger? Vinny Pasquatino. No, nobody took Bellinger.
We should have taken... I can't believe nobody took Castellanos.
Just in case. I was looking at him, but I don't know That's on memes.
He's only cool in Cincinnati. That's on your Fox.
That was a Cincinnati thing. That's your fetish.
Yeah, listen. That was a Cincinnati thing.
Jimmy Carter is going to die any day now. Castellanos is going to hit four home runs.
Castellanos has been really, really good this year. He's been on fire, but he still hasn't been hitting that many home runs.
So that means he'll probably hit shitload of home runs. I don't know.
I think that he's playing as well as he possibly could be playing right now and still not hitting. He's hitting a shit ton of doubles.
He peaked. Okay.
Anyone else? Paul DeJong. I think he got taken.
I just did one from every position. TJ, do you have one from every position? I need a pitcher.
All right. You should track yours.
Okay. Yeah.
Unofficial. The leftovers.
TJ beats us. The scraps, dude.
It's like the heat. You track TJ's? Yeah, it's like the heat.
Undraft the team. Yeah.
Put it into the... TJ, text me your list.
I'll add it to our sheet. Got it.

Damn.

All right.

Well, if you finish top two, TJ should get something.

Get to laugh at us during the video.

Yeah, you should get to pick what the pitcher has to wear.

If you finish top two.

I mean, this has been a painful draft to get through, but the fun of the league starts now. Yeah.
It's going to be a very fun league to keep track of. And thank God we taped all this on a podcast so people could listen to this and be like, what did I just listen to? Yeah, you just listen to guys saying names, many of which were repeats.
Yeah. 40 check.
Yeah. My team's good enough to not come in last.
You think? Could be good enough to come in second. I think those guys were going harder than us in this room back there.
I think so too. Shane and Evan meant business.
They took no hesitation on their pitch. I'd like to apologize to Josh Smith.
I'm going to be rooting for him to get hit by a pitch after he battled back from almost dying by getting hit by a pitch. Yeah.
I would like to not apologize to Estuary Ruiz. Just keep getting fucking plunked, dude.
Josh, I just hope you get hit on your shoulder a lot. It will be such a game changer if someone has a guy get hit by a pitch like 10 times.
Yeah, just take your ass out there, Josh. Use your ass.
Huge. Still got a bounty on Carlos Correa for any NMLB pitcher.
What are you going to do? Can you give him a tour of the office? Is that what they're calling it now? Yeah. The whole office.
The deep office. The very, very back of the office.
TJ, can you do us one last favor? Yep. Can you go, because we trust you, can you go hit the lottery ball machine yeah okay uh before you do that not gonna say the word yet numbers oh i didn't say really you said numbers really i just said numbers there's none hey what the fuck you said numbers but you just said numbers in a sentence oh just said numbers.
There's none. Hey, what the fuck? You just said numbers.
Yeah, but you just said numbers in a sentence. No, I said numbers.
If you listen back, I said numbers after you said that. Let me go 21.
I'll go with TJ. Hold on.
Oh, you can just tell us. Make sure you put it back in if there's one in there.
TJ, I'm getting the room up here. What? Oh.
Oh, TJ's getting the room. I'm doing 40.
I'll do 17. I think I'm the only one that drank all 40 ounces.
Memes, have you ever gotten this? What the hell's going on on TV? I don't believe so. I could have got it by the day this airs.
Probably not, though. No, probably not.
As of now. Probably not.
But when is now? Oh, nice. We got it.
Memes and Shane. Numbers.
28. 1.
20. Evan.
5. 5.
I hope Evan gets it. That'd be awesome.
55. 55.
55. 55.
55. All right, this is perfect.
Rooting for you, Hank. Genuinely rooting for you, Hank.
What is that? I can't see. Show it to the camera.
Oh, TJ. Oh, is that? Oh, 68.
Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus.
So close. And Hank would have gotten it on his birthday, even though this is Eric three weeks later.
Oh, man. I could have been rational.
All right. Well, so schedule.
No show, obviously, July 4th. No show on Wednesday.
Friday, we have Dungeons and Dragons with special guest Donnie.

So get excited.

Great, great episode with Tim Woods back.

And then on Sunday we'll be back together.

Love you guys. Today's a night to find you, shine it away.
I'll be coming for your love, girl. I'll be coming for your love, girl.
Take me, take me. Take me, take me.
I'll be gone. Take me.
Bye. Thank you.
I think we're better to be safe and safe. Take me on me.
Take me on.

I'll be gone.

Imagine you're changing.

Let me stay in a little while.

Just a moment.

You're the way.

You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shining away.
I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me Take on me