Max Homa And Brooks Koepka, Nuggets Win The NBA Finals And Golden Knights Win The Stanley Cup + Guys On Chicks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 3 And Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 1 So that means a half day.

Speaker 4 Yeah, give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.

Speaker 6 Upfront payment for $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow out for 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 6 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com. On today's pardon, my take, we have our US Open preview with Max Homa and Brooks Kepka, all the boys on the show talking about the big golf tournament coming up this weekend.

Speaker 1 We also are going to crown two champions. The Denver Nuggets have won the NBA title, and the Las Vegas Golden Knights have won the Stanley Cup.
A two for one.

Speaker 7 Yeah, big week for gold.

Speaker 1 Big week for gold. We are going to do hot seat, cool throne, and then guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 By the way, Mount Rushmore season starts on Friday officially, and we have some fun wrinkles to make it nice and spicy this year.

Speaker 8 Aldi is now on Uber Eats. So whether your fridge is empty and you're too tired to shop, or you just ran out of essential ingredients, don't worry, we got you.

Speaker 8 Get 40% off your first Aldi order on Uber Eats with code New LD25. Orders $30 or more, save up to $25 and it's 1231.
See out for details.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And I'm not like some work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all of the sun.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, June 14th, and the Denver Nuggets are NBA champions.

Speaker 7 The job is done. We can go home now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 What a great, great acceptance speech by Jokic. Maybe the most Serbian thing ever.
He's just like, okay, I'd like, in the words of Kevin Durant,

Speaker 7 I don't want to be a star, go to work, go home, FaceTime my horses, and hop in the pool.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was incredible watching Jokic reach the final boss, his finals MVP.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 when he was getting awarded the finals MVP, he, on the podium, he then picked up his daughter and just left the finals MVP on the podium.

Speaker 1 And Bruce Brown, there's a clip of him just picking up, being like, what do I do with this? It's his,

Speaker 1 I, he was, uh, so dominant and then afterwards, uh, basically was the most relatable guy ever where he's like, I'm just tired. I want to go home.

Speaker 1 They broke the news to him that he had a parade this Thursday, and you, it would have, like, you thought you had told him someone had died in his family because he was just like, oh, I can't go home yet.

Speaker 1 I can't go see my horses. He also had an all-time quote

Speaker 1 where he said,

Speaker 1 We succeeded in our jobs. We won the whole thing.
It's an amazing feeling, but like I said before, it's not everything in the world. There's a bunch of things that I like to do.

Speaker 1 Probably that's a normal thing. Nobody likes his job, or maybe they do.
They're lying, but it's a good feeling.

Speaker 7 It's a good feeling to be the best at your job, even if you don't like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think he honestly, if he was, if I think he has a quote in the past where it's like, if he was just doing horses for his job, he probably would be dreaming about playing basketball.

Speaker 1 Instead, he's playing basketball for his job, dreaming about being with his horses.

Speaker 7 He just wants to look at horses. Yeah.
They should fly his horses over. The horses should be in the parade.
I think we talked about that last week. Yes.
They should pull the floats behind them.

Speaker 7 Let Jokic ride behind his horses, take them down whatever the main avenue in Denver is, and

Speaker 7 let the fans celebrate. Now, Aaron Gordon...
had a completely different reaction than Jokic did, which was, I mean, he's been through a lot of shit in the NBA. A lot of people called him a bust.

Speaker 7 He was kind of thrown aside for a while. He is just so excited to be a champion.
He joined the big celebration outside the ball arena and started partying with the fans afterwards.

Speaker 7 I could see, it's like that old saying, like, there are two wolves inside of each and every one of us. Those are the two wolves.
It's like at one point, you want to celebrate doing something great.

Speaker 7 On the other hand, you just kind of, once you reach a certain age, and I imagine that Jokic lugging his body around all the time. Tired.
He gets tired.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Everybody just wants to go home at some point, put on a movie, and fall asleep in the first 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he finished it.
Mission accomplished. He incredible, incredible playoffs.
He averaged 30, 13 and a half, and 9.5 assists. So very close to a triple-double average.

Speaker 7 He is the first player in NBA history to lead the postseason in points, rebounds, and assists.

Speaker 1 Crazy. Like he was absolutely out of this world good.
Deserves all the praise. He is the best player on the planet.
I know that we do that every after every NBA finals. We're like, whoever won it.

Speaker 7 Embiid won MVP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Embiid did win MVP. He's probably very happy about that.
But Jokic took that MVP. I don't even think he cared, but we can make the argument.
He took that and he built himself off of it.

Speaker 1 And he was like, I'm going to go win the thing that actually matters, the NBA Finals, the NBA Finals MVP. He was so incredible.
He also, and we'll talk about the whole game

Speaker 1 and Jimmy Butler, which we have to bring up.

Speaker 1 Jokic, I think, now goes down as the best value pick in NBA history. Without a doubt.
So I was looking through it. The other second rounders that you could throw in the conversation.

Speaker 1 Jokic is better than all these guys. Draymond Green was a second rounder.
Manu was a second rounder. Mark Gasol, Dennis Rodman, even though that was the 27th pick, so a little smaller of a league.

Speaker 1 And Ben Wallace was undrafted. And then if you want to actually do like value picks, Kawhi was the 15th pick.

Speaker 1 John Stockton was 16. Kobe was 13.
Carl Malone was 13. 13.
Tony Parker was 28th. And then if you even, so

Speaker 1 he's a better value than all these because he went 41st overall in the draft. The only ones you could make an argument for would be Steve Nash, who went 15th.
So that's obviously outside the lottery.

Speaker 1 He ended up winning a couple MVPs. And then Giannis is the other one who went 15th and won MVPs in a finals.
But Jokic,

Speaker 1 it's clear. He is the greatest value pick.
in the history of the NBA.

Speaker 7 I actually disagree with that, big cat.

Speaker 1 You say Jordan 1st. Michael Jordan.
Yeah, picked third third overall.

Speaker 7 I still think Michael Jordan not being picked first overall and what he did becoming the best player of all time, that's a better value pick at three.

Speaker 7 But Jokic, he can, tell you what, if Jokic wins two more, like I fully expect and demand that he does, I think that he would then surpass MJ on that list just in terms of value.

Speaker 1 It's crazy just because in the NBA, second round picks, like the, you're, you're hoping, you're taking a flyer on a guy, hoping he ends up like a lot of, I would say the majority of second round picks don't end up on an NBA roster for more than a year at most.

Speaker 1 Like a lot of them don't even make the team. Jokic is the best player in the world, and he was the 41st pick overall.

Speaker 1 It's a credit to, there's one guy in the Nuggets facility. I would love to know his name.
I'm sure Die Hard Nuggets fans know him.

Speaker 1 There's one guy who definitely saw Jokic first and spent like his life mission trying to convince everyone else in Denver, being like, we have to draft this guy.

Speaker 7 Well, and that guy probably sucks at the rest of his job. Right.
Because Jokic was not, like, nobody saw that in Jokic at the time.

Speaker 1 Well, no, there's one guy who did it.

Speaker 7 But he probably saw, and this is very relatable to anybody that's ever watched any sort of prospect at any age, and you see them do one awesome thing during a game that you happen to be tuned into.

Speaker 7 Yes. And then you can't get that out of your head for the rest of their career.
And you wait for them to recapture that one player repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly so that you can be correct.

Speaker 7 There's probably, he probably watched one game, saw one bit of footwork or a great like behind-the-head pass that he made, and said, it's worth taking a flyer on this guy. And he happened to be right.

Speaker 1 You just described Tyrus Thomas' run with LSU and Big Baby Davis jumping out of the ramp out of the gym. Yep.
And like this guy. Yep.
How could he fail?

Speaker 7 That was a great team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you're right.

Speaker 1 Like those one moments where you stick to it and you're like, man, this guy's incredible. And for Jokic, it turned out to be true.
And he is,

Speaker 1 I get why he's not a bigger star when you see his answers after winning the NBA title. He's just like, I want to go home.

Speaker 1 But I think it's very relatable. And he's very, like, even the way he talks about his teammates.

Speaker 1 And I know this is very cliche because this is like a hockey meme in real life, but like, you never hear him saying I. He's talking about his teammates.

Speaker 1 He's giving his teammates all the credit, talking about how great Jamal Murray was, which he was phenomenal.

Speaker 1 And Jamal Murray gets like his entire path and all the injuries he went through and everything to get back to this point.

Speaker 1 Coach Cowell, kind of off the hot seat for a minute because that is a championship for

Speaker 7 him. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 But the whole team is,

Speaker 1 it's the official death of super teams as well. Yeah.
We declare that because they they out heat cultured heat culture, and we had uh we don't count the bubble year, but 2019 the Raptors.

Speaker 1 Uh, you could make the argument the Warriors, you know, without Kevin Durant getting injured, the Warriors might win that title. But since the bubble, you had the Bucs, not a super team.

Speaker 1 You had last year the Warriors, who were different than what they were when they won all those titles, not a super team.

Speaker 1 And then this year, the Nuggets, mostly homegrown, super teams don't play anymore. We had a decade of super teams, it's over.

Speaker 7 Ring chasing is done.

Speaker 1 You got to build it the right way.

Speaker 7 Sorry, gold diggers. Yeah.
The Nuggets are in town.

Speaker 7 Fun little stat here in the modern NBA, and I'll just take this back to, I think it's the Bulls. So the Bulls' first title run.

Speaker 7 The Nuggets are, I believe that they are the second biggest long shot to win the NBA championship.

Speaker 1 You know who the first was or who the longest shot was?

Speaker 7 Pistons? So, no, the Nuggets are not the second.

Speaker 1 I think they weren't that long of a shot.

Speaker 7 I misspoke. They were plus 1,800 when the season started.
Okay. But the biggest long shot in we'll call it the common era here was the Golden State Warriors in 2014, 2015.

Speaker 7 They were plus 2,800.

Speaker 1 A team with jump shooting can't win a title. They can't.
They've both basketball.

Speaker 7 I hope that scouts now, like the pendulum swings completely in the other way. And we have scouts over in Europe trying to draft the least athletic fat guys.

Speaker 7 And And one day they might blossom into the next yokish.

Speaker 1 Now, we aren't saying this, but some people might say it, and we do discuss everything about sports. Some people are trying to put an asterisk because they had maybe the easiest path of all time.

Speaker 1 I think if the Clippers had beaten the Suns, they would have had the easiest path possible

Speaker 7 for a one-seed. The Celtics would have smoked this team.
That's true.

Speaker 1 But yeah, they played, I think it was a cumulative 27 in seating, 27 in seating.

Speaker 1 So it was an eight seed in the Heat, a seven seed in the Lakers, a four seed in the Suns, and an eight seed in their first round matchup against Timbros.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying this because I think the Nuggets would have beaten anyone. They were the best team this year.
They have the best player in the world. Some are saying it.

Speaker 7 Now, credit to Skip Bayless, who will never stop fucking that chicken. But he said that if the Lakers had made it to the finals, they would have swept the Heat.

Speaker 7 It would have been an easier matchup for the Lakers.

Speaker 7 He's a second place, LeBron.

Speaker 1 He said Embiid's a more physically imposing player.

Speaker 1 Like to look at? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I would probably agree.

Speaker 1 He could put that right next to his MVP.

Speaker 7 It's actually a basketball game, though, and not just a physically imposing lookoff. Yes, which is a key mistake a lot of pundits make.

Speaker 1 He's so much fun to watch. He's just the way he plays, how he gets everyone involved.
He is the zone beater. They would just pass to him.

Speaker 1 There are some times when Jokic, like, is, you want him to shoot more. Because he'll make like the extra pass to a point where it's like, dude, just shoot it.
You can shoot. You can make every shot.

Speaker 1 He was just out of this world good for the entire last two months.

Speaker 1 He deserves all the credit. Michael Malone, he was actually on the hot seat a year or two ago.
He's now an NBA champion. Denver, first time ever the Nuggets have won an NBA championship.

Speaker 7 Or been in an NBA championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were in an ABA, I believe. Stan Cronke, goat owner.
We were the first to say it, but he now has the Rams, the Avalanche, the Nuggets, and the Mammoth.

Speaker 1 And Arsenal being in first place three-fourths of the season.

Speaker 7 Arsenal, I'm pretty sure, won the APL. Yeah, so that's.
Stop checking the table.

Speaker 1 He's the GOAT owner. He's won every title back to the COVID-19.
Also,

Speaker 7 it's disrespectful to the L.A. Gorillas who finished first place in Call of Duty.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. He owns them?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I believe so. Is that what you were about to say, Hank?

Speaker 2 No, that was not what I was about to say. Shout out to LAG.

Speaker 1 Celtics in six?

Speaker 2 Celtics probably would have won in six, but also this show has now lost five championships in a row.

Speaker 7 Yeah. It's tough.

Speaker 1 It's tough.

Speaker 1 Celtics, Phillies,

Speaker 1 Eagles.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 2 yeah. Celtics, Phillies, Eagles, Heat,

Speaker 2 and potentially the Panthers.

Speaker 1 Damn. Wow.
It's not over. It's time for it.

Speaker 2 So four in a row.

Speaker 1 Well, actually, and then all the way back to the Celtics. Oh, Celtics, you started it with Celtics.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah. I was because I was about to say it all coincides with when Max joined the show.

Speaker 7 Kind of interesting to think about. Well, Celtics were before.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kind of. So, yeah, that's a bad run for us.

Speaker 7 It's a terrible run for me.

Speaker 1 But again, me and PFT are really

Speaker 1 carrying our weight here.

Speaker 7 I've never lost a championship.

Speaker 1 Yep, neither have I. I haven't lost a championship in a while now.

Speaker 7 Feels pretty good to be a winner.

Speaker 1 It feels really good to be a winner.

Speaker 7 We're such losers that we're actually bigger winners than you guys are.

Speaker 9 How about that?

Speaker 2 And I had the Fire Fest back in January where I accidentally bet them to win the championship, and that ended up cashing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, huge, huge. It just feels good.

Speaker 2 Accidents happen, and sometimes they work out.

Speaker 7 It just feels good to be right about something for a change.

Speaker 7 You know, it so rarely happens in sports when you're correct about something and you see it coming and you're not a total dumbass.

Speaker 7 So I'm not going to take a victory lap, but I will just say that I'm proud of my nuggets.

Speaker 2 I'm proud of my name. I'm not going to take a victory lap because I did a Firefest segment about how I was upset about how I accidentally put them to win the championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it was accident.

Speaker 2 But it worked out.

Speaker 7 After the game, Jokic, you'll never see an NHL player do this, though, big cat. After the game was over, he went and he shook every opponent's hand before he accepted the stuff.

Speaker 7 Never see a hockey player do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, we should also talk about Stan Cronke just not understanding how a microphone works. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He just was all, he was, he was basically had his tongue in Lisa Salter's ear.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he was giving her in-person ASMR, just getting right in there. And it's unfortunate because his, uh, the one thing that he's not the best in the world at owning is a toupee.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Because that thing looks pretty bad. He also, especially from the side.

Speaker 1 It's also just a very funny visual when a team wins a championship and the owner gets to lift the trophy first.

Speaker 1 And it's like a bunch of insane athletes who we've watched go through these battles for the last couple of months, and then you have this old guy come and get all the credit, and you're like, oh, okay,

Speaker 1 he has nothing in common with the rest of these people.

Speaker 7 This belongs to me. Yeah.
He also got to hang out with Jeff Fisher for like 12 years. So he's a very cool guy.
That is true. The Nuggets went 16 and 4 in the playoffs, just absolutely dominant.

Speaker 7 And if you look at their roster, I saw when Michael Malone, when he got on the mic after the game, and he, right after the game was over, goes, our work's not done. We can win more.
Yes.

Speaker 7 like, I want to win more.

Speaker 1 He listens to the show.

Speaker 7 He listens to the show. They need to win at least three in order to be considered true champions in our book because they've got Jokic and Aaron Gordon, who are both 27.
Murray is 25 years old.

Speaker 7 Michael Porter Jr., who actually stepped up in the last game. Yeah, he did.
After having a shitty series before that.

Speaker 1 He's never taken a three in rhythm.

Speaker 7 He's 24. So they've got a good young core.
And then Bruce Brown said after the game that he wants to stick around. Sometimes money isn't the most important thing.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a drunk thing to say after winning a championship. It also sounds like

Speaker 1 when you win a championship, I bet you that's the last moment that your agent wants you to do contract negotiations.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'm looking up Bruce Brown's contracts over the years,

Speaker 7 total earnings, because it is also very easy to say that money is not the most important thing once you've made money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. That's absolutely true.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 that is, I would say, the last time that you want to, the last moment that you could pick in negotiating windows is right after a championship when when everything is awesome.

Speaker 7 Okay, so he's made $15 million, which is a good amount of money. He could use some money.
Good amount of money, but he probably could get paid a lot more money somewhere else this offseason. Yes.

Speaker 7 So who knows what's going to happen with him? But the core is so young that, man, who knows?

Speaker 7 Not five, not six, not seven.

Speaker 1 Shout out Christian Brown going back-to-back.

Speaker 7 Yeah, back-to-back. He joins the ranks of Bill Russell, Magic Johnson.

Speaker 7 Who else? I don't know. That's probably it.
Jake, I've...

Speaker 1 That's probably one we're missing. It's obvious that people are going to be like, how could you forget this person?

Speaker 7 I've got a spin zone for you, Jake. I've got one too.
Sorry about your heat.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Speaker 7 However, Dame Lillard said that he wanted to go to whichever team did not win.

Speaker 1 The reverse.

Speaker 7 Because he doesn't want to be seen as a team.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, actually, Kevin Durant did do that. He did.
Yeah, he did exactly that. He did.

Speaker 7 So Dame wants to pull a KD. He

Speaker 7 kind of alluded to the fact that he would be okay with joining the Heat. So

Speaker 7 maybe by losing this NBA Finals, you've given yourself an opportunity to get Dame Lillard and maybe get back to an NBA Finals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, listen, it's the most attractive free agent destination. So just come.

Speaker 7 Just come. Just come.

Speaker 1 There you go. Get a quote card.
I'm going to come. Yep.

Speaker 1 So, Jake, the Heat lost.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Butler faded. Let's say that.
He faded pretty bad. As good as he was in the Eastern Conference playoffs, he was just as bad.
He was not good in the finals.

Speaker 7 That's got to suck if you're a Celtics fan watching that, huh? Yeah. Man, this guy just killed us.

Speaker 1 How often, how, like, did you look up Caleb Martin and Gabe Vinson shooting this series?

Speaker 2 No, I watched one game.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
And Matt Struce. Yeah.
Yeah, none of them were good. None of them were good.
Yeah, the heat kind of turned into a pumpkin.

Speaker 1 It's more credit to the Nuggets and their defense was, they picked it up big time in the finals. But Jimmy ran out of gas.

Speaker 1 He had an incredible playoffs, but he just, like, even in game five, I don't know, with like maybe five minutes left, I think he had eight points or something. He went on a little bit of a tear there,

Speaker 1 lost 13, but

Speaker 1 two of 11 from the field or something.

Speaker 7 And despite Scott Foster's best efforts to extend this series, that foul that they called on Michael Porter Jr., was it Porter or was it Aaron Gordon?

Speaker 1 He kicked Aaron Gordon in the ball in the nuts, yeah. He got all ball on that one, and they called a foul.

Speaker 7 They reviewed it. I think everybody in America thought, okay, they're going to reverse this call because that's just Jimmy kicking somebody the nuts.

Speaker 7 And then it turns out that the guy in the replay booth was none other than Scott Foster. So Scott Foster, even though he wasn't on the court, he was perhaps more impactful.

Speaker 7 So the Nuggets beat six guys. They beat six guys.
They beat the Heat. They beat Scott.
Scott was trying to extend it. So this just proves our point that Scott Foster, he's washed.
Yeah, he is washed.

Speaker 7 He doesn't have the same impact.

Speaker 1 He tried his hardest, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't get the job done.
Extending the series.

Speaker 7 But Jake, I do agree with you that the Heat, they're a great fit for a guy that you would want to be on the heat.

Speaker 7 I think there are probably some players out there that are near the top of the list in the NBA that probably wouldn't want to go play in Miami because they do things like weigh you all the time, and that sucks.

Speaker 7 But the kind of guy that you would want on the team would be somebody that would want that type of environment to go win a championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we talk about on the show work-life balance. Work-work-balance.
Have fun. Work-work is what we need.
It's a great place to work.

Speaker 7 We do work-work balance around.

Speaker 1 Work-work. Tank almost had to do work-work, and it was a smaller moment of his life.
Destination for that. It is, yeah.

Speaker 7 I would like to see Dame play in Miami. I think he'd be a good fit on that team.

Speaker 1 Why not? Yeah, why not? But why not?

Speaker 7 Jimmy Butler, probably hurt. I don't want to make excuses.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to hurry. He's hurt in the final.

Speaker 7 You shouldn't be on the court if

Speaker 7 that's going to be an excuse. But we probably will get an update in a couple weeks being like, oh, Jimmy Butler turns out that he had eight ligaments torn in his ankle.

Speaker 1 And I still love Jimmy Butler. He's,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't know if superstar, but he's in the star category, top 15 player. But if you

Speaker 1 if you say he's was so great in the Eastern Conference finals, he deserves to get criticized for not being there in the finals. That's part of the job.

Speaker 1 If they were to hang banners on best Eastern Conference playoff performances ever, he's probably number one.

Speaker 7 I think they should hang a banner for that.

Speaker 1 I mean, he just put it right next to the MJ banner in Miami. He just dismantled.
Yeah. Just dismantled the Celtics.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Absolutely owned them.

Speaker 1 Listen, two months ago, they were two minutes away of getting eliminated against the Bulls in the play-in game.

Speaker 1 I don't like how you're dealing with it. Just saying.
It's fine. Yeah, yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it was anticlimactic. Like,

Speaker 1 it didn't feel like.

Speaker 1 I mean, they obviously, the game was in doubt with a minute left, but I don't think the series was ever in doubt. And Jimmy did say that he's not going to go to his Hall of Fame induction.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So just that's a heads up. Okay.
He doesn't care about that kind of stuff.

Speaker 7 I will cancel my hotel.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.
So you won't be there. He would have called you out as your number, his number one hater.

Speaker 7 Number one hater. Yeah.
Motivator. Haters are your marketing team.

Speaker 1 One last thing before we talk hockey.

Speaker 1 The quote that we saw, it just passed our desk while we were recording.

Speaker 1 Nikola Djokic is the best guy ever because he said, talking about the doubters, the haters, of which there are many, they didn't believe in the fat boy. It seems like it worked out.

Speaker 1 Don't bet against the fat boy.

Speaker 7 Sounds like a recap of Oppenheimer.

Speaker 1 yeah it's yeah there you go nailed it put him

Speaker 1 uh i might get this as a tattoo it's a good tattoo don't bet against the fat boy just don't do it don't right across my stomach you know what i'm gonna say jokic not fat at all used to be used to be fat he was the fat boy was fat but fat he had a glow up yeah he he was the fat boy and now the little man yeah now he's awesome he's a big big man uh jake uh did you want to also say the wild you had a crazy wild last night you want to say oh yeah there was a picture of Jokic when he was a kid.

Speaker 1 He's five. Yeah, he was wearing Devon Dung.
He was a fat boy when he was a fat boy.

Speaker 7 He was wearing what? Definitely Duggett shirt. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 It is wild in Serbia? Yep. To have like

Speaker 1 one of the odds. Yeah, he wasn't wearing like a big bull.
He was a international brand.

Speaker 7 Right, yeah. What was that, like, probably the Mutumbo era?

Speaker 7 Maybe Marcus Camby. He's probably too early for Marcus Camby.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, we got to remember that we're old. Yeah, we are.
So this was like 2000?

Speaker 7 2001. So maybe Camby.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Yeah, yeah.
That works.

Speaker 1 but either way birdman man wild shout out birdman yeah i it warmed my heart last night to see all the pictures of birdman floating across the timeline yes yes the nuggets are number one all right we have to crown another champion the las vegas golden knights stanley cup champion our knights our knights we jumped on the bandwagon because alec martinez who scored in this game awl

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 I mean, it's pretty crazy the fact that they've won a Stanley Cup. It obviously went against your caps, but how long have they been a franchise? What, six years?

Speaker 7 That was their first year, would have been 2018.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. I mean, to be into two Stanley Cup final in that time, 2017 was when they founded.

Speaker 1 What a way to cement hockey in the desert. Yeah, and this is what the Coyotes never could do.

Speaker 7 And what a great, great city to win a Stanley Cup in. They're going to have such a good time hanging out after that.

Speaker 1 You don't have to go to Vegas.

Speaker 7 You're already there. You're in Vegas already.

Speaker 7 I hope the Panthers score one more goal because that way we can say Alec Martinez, Stanley Cup winning.

Speaker 1 Winning goal, yeah. Yeah, because it's 6-1 right now as we're taping it.
We're calling it.

Speaker 1 The exit polls are in. The Las Vegas Golden Knights are your Stanley Cup champions.
Incredible run. I think maybe

Speaker 1 Whitney might have said, watch out for the Knights before the playoffs.

Speaker 7 He took like every team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he took every team, but I'm going to give him credit.

Speaker 7 Yeah, this is a big win for the South.

Speaker 1 Big win for the South. Las Vegas, one of our biggest southern markets.

Speaker 1 Deep South.

Speaker 7 I love the golden jerseys that they wear. Yes.
And they're jerseys that, if they sucked, they would look completely awful. They would be like the worst jerseys in sports if they were not a good team.

Speaker 7 But because they're good in the golden jerseys, it's incredible.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, Jake, you're a double loser.
Yeah, Max. How do you deal with this? Two.
Yeah, well, you did. Max actually lost in the same day twice.

Speaker 1 So you at least.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but he lost two championships in the same day.

Speaker 7 You forget about the union. You forgot about the union.
You have to work for Business Insiders in Philly.

Speaker 1 So, Max, what's the move here?

Speaker 1 Uh, you know, you just kind of have to eat it for the rest of your life, or the rest of your time on this show.

Speaker 1 Uh, you get get called a loser every time you walk out out the door, even though you did a lot of winning, but it makes you feel

Speaker 1 you guys are you guys are the biggest losers here.

Speaker 7 Uh, hey, Jake, did you get shut out in the last game? No. Did you have any hits tonight? Let me see.
How many hits did the Panthers have they had any hits?

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 7 Looking up the box score right now. This is going to be big.

Speaker 7 Yes, they've had hits tonight. So you did not get no hit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's nice.

Speaker 1 It's tough, though. Double loser.
You had a magical spring in South Florida and it comes to a screeching halt.

Speaker 1 But hey, second place is second place. You sound pretty down in your dumps.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Was this a failure?

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.

Speaker 10 Eight seeds.

Speaker 1 You got to.

Speaker 1 You're there to win a title. You're there to win a title.
Yeah. You're there to win a title.
I mean,

Speaker 7 you have to go go back and look and think to yourself,

Speaker 7 the Bruins definitely would have beaten the Knights.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, if we actually,

Speaker 1 I'd say the biggest takeaway from these playoffs is Bruin Celtics would have won. Yeah.
But the Heat and Panthers eliminated them. Right.

Speaker 1 But, I mean, look at the teams.

Speaker 1 But, right, Hank?

Speaker 7 You want to have a guy off? The Celtics, yeah.

Speaker 2 Bruins lost so long ago that

Speaker 2 it's tough to make that argument.

Speaker 1 That does feel like 10 years ago. You were a year younger when they lost.
It's true. It's true.
Wow. It is true.

Speaker 1 Okay. So congrats to Golden Knights.
We're going to try to maybe get someone on from the team. Alec Martinez.

Speaker 1 If you're listening to this, you're probably not because you're probably drunk having an awesome time with the Stanley Cub. But we will reach out and hopefully have him on for Friday's show.

Speaker 1 What are you going to say, Billy? You hit something.

Speaker 11 Just wanted to promo some of our July 4th merch.

Speaker 1 Yes. Good call, Billy.

Speaker 11 I'm rocking an amazing July 4th t-shirt. It's got Teddy Roosevelt on Allosaurus with a gun and a big stick, and it just says America.

Speaker 1 Is that a real photo?

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's a real photo. It looks like a T-Rex to me.

Speaker 11 No, no, it's an Allosaurus. Are you sure?

Speaker 1 Very different.

Speaker 11 Very different. Okay.
I specifically asked for an Allosaurus.

Speaker 1 I think they just drew a T-Rex. They said Billy wants to be a bad.

Speaker 1 Dude, Billy wants to be a sound. That's a T-Rex.
Billy wants to be honest with you. You can tell by the crest.

Speaker 11 You can tell by the crest.

Speaker 1 No, that's a T-Rex.

Speaker 11 No, Allosaurus is just so much better.

Speaker 7 Teddy Roosevelt riding a T-Rex. What could be cooler than that?

Speaker 1 That is just.

Speaker 1 You would be a gatekeeping dinosaur guy.

Speaker 11 No, well, fucking PFT gatekeeps planes.

Speaker 7 Yeah, because you don't know shit about dinosaurs. You don't know shit about dinosaurs.

Speaker 7 Billy, your facts about planes are

Speaker 1 shit about dinosaurs.

Speaker 7 No, you don't know anything about airplanes.

Speaker 10 Whatever, dude.

Speaker 1 You thought an F-22. Dude,

Speaker 11 I grew out of planes like in fifth grade.

Speaker 11 You grew out of planes? I grew out of planes.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's cool. What are you wearing, Max?

Speaker 10 I'm wearing the same thing as you.

Speaker 1 This is our part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yep, look at the back. Look at the back.

Speaker 1 Mount Rushmore. The Mount Rushmore.
The best journey. Best shirt that you can wear for 4th of July.

Speaker 10 By far the best shirt you can wear for 4th of July.

Speaker 7 They really hooked it up with the facial hair on that Mount Rushmore, didn't they?

Speaker 1 Yes, stored.barstillsports.com. We have everything.
There's some cool, like, new American flag jackets that look awesome. We got some new hats, everything.
So buy now because the summer's here.

Speaker 1 It's time for July 4th, one of the best holidays on the calendar. So go to store.barstillsports.com.
Great reminder, Billy. Okay, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 5 All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One-made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Speaker 5 Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.

Speaker 5 One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick-me-up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

Speaker 5 One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut, and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, hot seat, cool throne. Hank.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is the Bills dynasty.

Speaker 2 Stephon Diggs

Speaker 2 no-showed for off-season training program.

Speaker 2 They asked McDermott about it, and he said he was concerned about it, very concerned about it, and he seemed very upset about the fact that Stephon Diggs just no-showed.

Speaker 7 So did he no-show or did he show and then no-showed?

Speaker 2 I believe he no-showed.

Speaker 7 I thought that he showed up and then he just left. I think his agent said that.

Speaker 2 For the first time since Diggs joined the team in 2020, he skipped the entire off-season program. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is the article I read.

Speaker 2 Damn.

Speaker 7 Okay, now, was that the article that you read, or was that the headline that you read?

Speaker 2 This is from an article.

Speaker 7 Is it a headline from an article?

Speaker 2 Nope. This is inside of the actual article,

Speaker 2 which is inside of a blog.

Speaker 1 Have the Bills been in touch with Baby Diggs?

Speaker 1 Who's sad? He's Baby Gronk's rival.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you haven't seen highlight tape of baby diggs, it's electric. He's pretty much the most average-looking, like, eight-year-old boy just catching balls in his front yard.
I like that.

Speaker 7 I want to see more baby athletes.

Speaker 7 I want to see a baby Rodrigo blankenship. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think we should leave the little kids out.

Speaker 1 Well, no, baby Diggs wanted it. Baby Diggs called him out.
Baby Diggs called Baby Gronk out.

Speaker 7 When you say Baby Diggs, it sounds like you're saying something else.

Speaker 1 Confession, I still have no idea who these guys are. And I know you guys did a segment on it.
I still don't understand their importance.

Speaker 7 That's probably good.

Speaker 1 that's a good thing that you don't yeah uh you guys should i mean you should baby digs electric i don't know what you're saying yeah i know with the fd it's a little too close yeah baby digs yeah baby

Speaker 1 look look at this baby diggs baby digs are electric

Speaker 1 one-on-one baby digs or gronk or baby gronk

Speaker 1 and what in what kind of drill uh catching look i'm gonna show you a quick highlight of baby digs you give me your instant reaction okay he's that electric let me see him let's see hold on it's coming up it's coming up

Speaker 1 There's baby diggs.

Speaker 7 Oh, I'd beat the shit out of him. No, baby diggs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I was.

Speaker 7 I would beat him up. Monster.

Speaker 1 Womp. Look at this.
You see him? One-handed catch in his front yard. He got smack him in the mouth.

Speaker 1 Big

Speaker 1 big diggs is owed.

Speaker 2 He's

Speaker 2 owed $24 million in 2023. They're not going to be able to trade him, so they got to make it work.
Sounds like it's not working out.

Speaker 1 No, I'll be fine.

Speaker 2 I just feel, you know, the Bills, unbelievable run.

Speaker 1 This ain't getting his AFC East. We're getting back to football.
It's good to have football talk back. It's true, though.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know.

Speaker 2 And they have the mad curse to worry about.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's not an ideal situation that you'd want to have in Buffalo.

Speaker 1 And they have Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 7 Maybe they're looking at Hopkins.

Speaker 2 The Patriots to Hopkins rumors are buzzing.

Speaker 7 Which doesn't mean the whole team is going to go to Hopkins. Any sense to me.

Speaker 7 If you were DeAndre Hopkins and you wanted to play with a great quarterback, why would you want to go play New England right now?

Speaker 2 Because Belichick is the best quarterback there is.

Speaker 7 Belichick is.

Speaker 2 He is. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 7 as a quarterback, you think he's the best quarterback?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 What happened last year?

Speaker 2 They had a

Speaker 2 bad quarterback coach as their offensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 They had a bad.

Speaker 7 Who hired the defensive coach to be the best quarterback ever?

Speaker 1 Robert Kraft.

Speaker 7 This is why you shouldn't let quarterbacks hire their own offensive coordinators.

Speaker 1 Is Bill Belichick going to potentially play this year? He should. Best quarterback ever.

Speaker 2 I mean, yeah, it's a system. It's his system, and his system created the greatest.

Speaker 7 So he's a system QB. Tom Brady is.
No, Belichick's a system quarterback, too. He's Belichick, the head coach's system.

Speaker 1 But Belichick made the system? Did he create the system? Yes.

Speaker 1 Is the system sentient? Has the system taken over? Can he no longer control the system?

Speaker 1 No, it's his system. Okay.
He runs a system. So he could turn off the system when he wants to.
Yeah. Okay, you got to be careful.
I mean, AI is in the news.

Speaker 7 You got to be careful. Probably should have tweaked the algorithm last year against the Raiders.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was. Yeah, whatever.
Okay, so Hank has buried the Bills. Bills.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just saying they're on the hot seat. The Bills dynasty is on the hot seat.
Okay.

Speaker 7 I think they'll be fine. Josh Allen has very mean how you say that.
That's that's all I know is Josh Allen says that's my fucking guy. Yeah, I've got his back through thick and through thin.

Speaker 7 I think they'll be fine.

Speaker 2 Diggs was trashing him at the end of last season, too. It's tough to see.
I feel bad. Love Josh.
Love Bills Mafia.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't sound like you do because you call him a dynasty.

Speaker 2 I mean, they're the darlings. They're the media darlings.
They're the fan darlings. I think they were the odds on favor last year.
If not, then they were.

Speaker 1 Odds on? No.

Speaker 7 Odds on? No.

Speaker 2 Odds off? Yeah, odds off.

Speaker 7 Odds on would be like they were minus 100 to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 I feel like they were.

Speaker 2 And then my cool throne, this could have been a hot seat. Could have put dad and all the other

Speaker 2 Big Cat and all the other dads on the hot seat, but Peyton Hillis on the cool throne. Yes.
He was on Good Morning America.

Speaker 1 Oh, I haven't had the chance yet. Hope that day doesn't come, but why would you put me on the hot seat for that?

Speaker 2 It's just a, it's he, he, so Peyton Hillis heroically rescued his son and his niece

Speaker 2 from drowning and had to get rushed to the hospital, had basically kidney failure from

Speaker 2 going as hard as he could to to save the lives.

Speaker 2 Almost, I mean, we talked about it when it happened, but he was in like critical condition when it happened.

Speaker 1 It's a crazy story.

Speaker 2 It's a crazy story. You should definitely watch it if you haven't.
But he's made a recovery. He went on Good Morning America.
He said that

Speaker 2 I'm not a hero. I call myself a dad.
Yeah. So that just

Speaker 1 and uncle. Yeah.
I mean, like, because if you read the story, he had to swim past his son to save his niece first because he knew his niece was in more trouble and then come back and get his son.

Speaker 1 He might be number one uncle.

Speaker 7 He's a better uncle than he is a dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's number one uncle in the world.

Speaker 7 Also, that Hank, you just proved yourself wrong. Madden curse doesn't exist then.
So Josh Allen will be fine. Peyton Hillis, who could forget his Madden cover?

Speaker 1 One of the best.

Speaker 2 That still doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 What? That he was on the cover. Oh, now you're going to hear what that was on real that one year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 Didn't he beat the Patriots? Yeah.

Speaker 1 On the

Speaker 1 what? Yeah, on the Browns.

Speaker 2 In the regular season?

Speaker 10 Yeah, in the regular season with Harry.

Speaker 1 You're walking into one like that. Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 They beat you in the regular season.

Speaker 11 I appeal to beat the Patriots for any AFC team that doesn't have much playoff success.

Speaker 7 Hang the banner.

Speaker 2 What year was that?

Speaker 11 It was the off year.

Speaker 7 2000.

Speaker 2 Well, that one without Brady. Yes.
Matt Castle. All right, but yeah.

Speaker 2 Great story. Shout out to Payton Hill as hero, dad.

Speaker 1 Hero Dad. Hero Dad.
And Uncle. Yep.
All right, PFT.

Speaker 7 My hot seat is Buckingham Palace Guards. Oh, yeah.
You see the videos of Buckingham Palace Guards training? They've got like instruments and shit that they're playing.

Speaker 7 And they've had multiple members of the Buckingham Palace Guards just pass out in the hot weather, which is, if you're a British person, you shouldn't be out in the sun to begin with.

Speaker 7 But they make these guys stand out in the sun with what looks like a live raccoon on their heads and then wearing their 1776 throwbacks on their bodies that just trap in all the heat.

Speaker 7 And so these dudes that just keep passing out and the band just walks around them and keeps playing,

Speaker 7 that's football guy mentality right there.

Speaker 1 I got to say, though,

Speaker 1 86 degrees is not that hot.

Speaker 7 In Britain, it is, though. You have to judge it on a slow scale.

Speaker 7 Anything above over 60 degrees in England is boiling hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it also just added to the effect that he was, you know, he had a trombone that is the saddest instrument. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just the whole thing was perfect.

Speaker 7 As he was passing out, you think he did the womp, womp.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Womp, womp, womp, womp.

Speaker 7 And then my cool throne is Conor McGregor. Ooh.
Conor McGregor is on the cool throne.

Speaker 7 I can't believe we didn't talk about this after the last game, but he was brought out onto the court at the heat game.

Speaker 7 He was sitting court side, and they brought him out to do some sort of a stunt, like a fake fight with Bernie. Is that the heat mascot name? Yes.
Bernie.

Speaker 7 And part of the stunt was, okay, Connor, you're going to hit the mascot in the face, and then he's going to fall down.

Speaker 1 McGregor, like...

Speaker 7 hauled off and jacked him up in his chin knocked him out and then went and finished him off like on top of him landed at least one more clean shot to the face sent the mascot to the ER yeah the guy actually had to go to the ER ER.

Speaker 7 He's got his power back. Yeah, he's got his power back.
McGregor is officially back. I can't wait to see him step into any ring.

Speaker 1 A win's a win.

Speaker 7 He needed a win. Big deal.

Speaker 1 He needed a win.

Speaker 1 Like, what, like three-second KO?

Speaker 7 Yeah, and his old foe, Floyd Mayweather, is probably going to be looking for a different opponent because he's got the Gotti family out there. Yeah, the Gotti's are coming after him.

Speaker 7 Respect.

Speaker 1 Respect. Respect.
Bernie would have been back for game six if there is one. Oh, I like that, Jake.

Speaker 7 Bernie would have won.

Speaker 1 That's a great update. Bernie would have won.

Speaker 1 All right. I have two hot seats.
My first is for loser simps like Jake Marsh, who think Roger Federer is the best of all time. He is, in fact, not.
Jokovich won the French Open. He has 23 majors.

Speaker 1 Majors? Grand Slams. Grand Slams.
He has 23 Grand Slams. He is the greatest tennis player of all time.
I watched

Speaker 1 over two games of the match.

Speaker 1 No games. No, I watched games.

Speaker 7 There's games inside.

Speaker 1 I watched points, games. Three games in the last set.

Speaker 1 Over two games in the match.

Speaker 1 He is the greatest of all time. What a week for Serbia.
Back-to-back days.

Speaker 1 They have the best basketball player, the best tennis player.

Speaker 2 Serbia or Denver? Where would you rather be right now?

Speaker 7 Serbia.

Speaker 7 That's why he wants to get home.

Speaker 1 Although Serbia is fucking hopping in Serbia.

Speaker 7 Once the Serbs start, they feel themselves a little bit, a lot of bad shit usually happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they hop at the root of. Yeah.

Speaker 7 But yeah, I hope they don't have a parade in Serbia.

Speaker 1 It doesn't go well.

Speaker 1 What are you thinking, Jake?

Speaker 1 You speak for all the loser, simp, limp, dick, Federer fans.

Speaker 1 You don't have a goat. That's crazy that you asked for a picture with the loser, Sim.
Yeah, and I whispered to him. I said, hey, fucking Djokovic owns you, bitch.
Yeah, not much of a debate anymore.

Speaker 1 However, Rafa wasn't in this, and this is his tournament. Who gives a fuck? Rafa just wins all the French Opens.
That's the other thing.

Speaker 1 I think Djokovic is the first to win each major Grand Slam major

Speaker 1 three times or more. That's impressive.
No one else has done that. So

Speaker 1 he can win on any surface, any time. And he had at least two or three taken away from him because of his COVID vaccination status.

Speaker 1 So he is, we're going for 30.

Speaker 1 We're going to go for 30.

Speaker 7 They should introduce a new surface to tennis. What do you think about tennis?

Speaker 1 You have hard clay and grass. Marshmallows.

Speaker 7 Grass. I was going to say ice.

Speaker 2 Oh, I like that.

Speaker 1 I saw a video. There was like a viral TikTok of like, oh, yeah, you have a puzzle.

Speaker 7 Pickleball. And then there's six guys on each team.
Yeah. There was like people playing.
And the net is the nets behind the players instead of in front.

Speaker 1 No, but can you imagine?

Speaker 2 Do whatever they have, like bouncy ball, like racquetball material.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Ice tennis would be fucking

Speaker 7 tennis.

Speaker 7 Put them on skates.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 7 Conor McGregor would be so good at ice tennis.

Speaker 1 Jokovich is the goat. He is the goat.
And sad boys like you just crying in your serial. Oh, yeah, you're fine.
You were crying all Sunday when he won.

Speaker 1 He's the best of all time. There's no debate.
He is the greatest, and I can't wait to win more.

Speaker 1 PFT was saying with the Nuggets, I've been a Djokovic fan for my entire life. I've watched every single

Speaker 1 set, no game that he's been in.

Speaker 1 And it feels good to be vindicated that I was right all along. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 I feel like I won a major. Kennedy did.
Yeah. It did.
My other hot seat is Hank. He's 30.
Happy birthday, Hank. Happy birthday, Hank.

Speaker 1 Hank, happy birthday. He's 30 years old.
Damn. I've known him since he was 19.
He is a grow. I've always said that when you turn 30, I will officially feel old.

Speaker 1 Turns out I officially felt old like five years ago.

Speaker 1 But 30, Hank.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it feels really old.

Speaker 2 Something about 30 between 29 and 28, it just feels significantly older than those numbers. I had a flight back from Chicago this morning.
I was listening to the Life episode, and

Speaker 2 really hitting home just talking about your 20s and your 30s. I kind of hope that I'm in the Mark Titus territory where my 20s are my 30s, and my 30s are more like my 20s.

Speaker 1 Wait, so, but your 20s were like your 20s. I know your 20s.
Yeah, but like

Speaker 1 you were not living your 20s like you were in your 30s.

Speaker 7 This is a whole like game six is really game seven.

Speaker 1 Well, no, he's basically saying he wants to have Mark Titus's life, but skipping the part where Titus said that he spent his 20s trying to grow up too fast.

Speaker 1 Hank spent his 20s trying to get younger, and now he's going to go to the 30s and try to relive the 20s. I like the strategy.

Speaker 1 You should do that, but that's not what Mark Titus did.

Speaker 7 I think maybe your 20s were more like your teens. Yeah.
And now your 30s are going to be like your 20s.

Speaker 2 Well, but even you guys are talking about, I mean, I guess, yeah, I don't know. It's tough with this job because this job obviously is the greatest job in the world.

Speaker 1 But it's a job. You'd rather be with your horses in Serbia.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And like, you know, you guys talked about just having a job where you can fuck off.
Like, that's obviously never really been the case here, per se.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I'm, I appreciate all the birthday wishes. I'm excited for, I'm excited for Chicago.
I'm excited for the 30s. You know, I just

Speaker 2 felt, you know, immature and young for my age. And working at Barcelona's always been like, yeah, well, you don't have to grow up because you're working at Barcelona.
But I was like, you're 30.

Speaker 1 We are kind of like the lost boys.

Speaker 2 You can't really act like, I guess you can, but it just feels, it just feels different. 30, 30, 30s hit me in the face pretty hard.

Speaker 1 30, dirty, and flirty. Yeah.
There you go. Henry Lockwood story.

Speaker 7 I don't know if this applies to how you're feeling, Hank.

Speaker 2 30 just seems ancient. Like, even at the golf course,

Speaker 2 when I see old guys, like, when you see, you know, old guys in golf stuff, and you're like, oh,

Speaker 2 those guys are dinosaurs. Now I'm like, oh, like.
That seems like fun. Like, they're living the life.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 When I was 28 and 29, I spent those years dreading turning 30. Yes.
And then once I turned 30, I was like, oh, this isn't bad at all because I just spent the last two years worrying about being 30.

Speaker 7 It turns out I feel the same.

Speaker 1 And you get young again.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you'll get young again.

Speaker 1 It'll be okay.

Speaker 7 Although Billy brought this up earlier and it's kind of crazy. Hank was Billy's age when he started doing part of my take.

Speaker 9 How about that?

Speaker 1 I was younger. Yeah.
Wild.

Speaker 11 No, when I met Hank, Hank was my age.

Speaker 1 I was 22 when this podcast started.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 That's crazy, bro. Wild.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm happy for you because you have grown up to be a man.

Speaker 1 I don't, not a responsible man, but a man. Corporate Hank.
Yeah, corporate Hank.

Speaker 1 Your lights did just get turned off because you didn't know how to get a utility bill, but that's whatever.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, listen, I got to be a little bit more proactive.

Speaker 2 You know, I've made some bad decisions in my 20s. I'm going to try and limit those in my 30s.
Do my best.

Speaker 2 But, you know, you can't win them all.

Speaker 1 I'm excited for your 30s. You're going to pop off in your 30s.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're going to kill it. We're going to kill it in Chicago.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Huge decade.

Speaker 2 Play a lot of golf.

Speaker 1 Play a lot of golf.

Speaker 7 What's crazy is that if you think about time, when part of my take started, Hank was,

Speaker 7 it was, it was closer to being when we killed Osama bin Laden

Speaker 7 than part of my take is to right now.

Speaker 9 Yeah. How about that?

Speaker 1 It's true.

Speaker 2 I feel like I am the age when you guys started. Like I still, I'm so ready to grind.
Like when I think about

Speaker 2 your guys's,

Speaker 2 when you guys started in this career, you were around my age I am now, and you went hard for like five or six years. Like, I'm so ready for that.

Speaker 1 And then we just gave up. Yeah, that was nice.
Well, no, I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about like.

Speaker 1 We grind.

Speaker 11 I want to say something stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We work harder than you, Billy.

Speaker 11 No, I think it's a lot easier to work hard when you're your age.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 1 I would love for you to explain that to someone who has three kids at home that has to be home all the time.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I said it was going to be stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, all right. It was.
Okay, you're right. You're right.

Speaker 1 But Hank, I'll say it's significantly harder.

Speaker 11 Because he's like, I'm 30. I'm ready to grind.

Speaker 1 Your life is officially started. I think maybe at 22, maybe, Billy, because you want to go out.
Maybe I could see the argument, but I would still take having no responsibilities outside of work

Speaker 1 definitely leads to being able to work more.

Speaker 11 No,

Speaker 11 definitely stupid what I said.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, I think what you're saying is that it's...

Speaker 7 It's more fun to go out and get drunk. Right.
And you have to sacrifice some of that in your 20s. Correct.
And in your 30s, you don't want to go out and get drunk that much.

Speaker 10 Right.

Speaker 2 And I think when you get older, you just don't care as much about like the,

Speaker 2 I don't know, like you don't care about what your peers think. You don't care about like what's going on around you.
You're like, I'm just going to do what I like to do.

Speaker 1 Which is golf. Which is golf.

Speaker 1 Pretty much.

Speaker 2 But yeah, I appreciate the birthday wishes.

Speaker 7 Did you almost say when you get to your 30s, you just stop caring about your appearance? Like you guys, is that what you're?

Speaker 2 No, I'm saying like, I don't know, when you're, you know,

Speaker 2 you get self-conscious. I feel like when you're in your younger 20s, you're like, oh, what are my peers doing? Or, like, you know, you're trying to appear a certain way.

Speaker 2 You're trying to like come off as like cool or whatever. And it's like, I don't care about that anymore.
I just want to

Speaker 2 do what I want to do.

Speaker 1 Hank's grinding gold. Hank is so old now that when he started this podcast, he was, Harambe was still alive.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 22. Also, when we started this podcast, Harambe was still alive.

Speaker 7 No, but Hank is still alive.

Speaker 1 But Hank, really. Hank was 45.

Speaker 2 No, you guys were both above 30 when we started.

Speaker 1 31, I think. We did.
We celebrated our 30th birthday together. Yeah, true.

Speaker 2 In Arizona. And

Speaker 2 I thought you were so old.

Speaker 2 That one, that one, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 I guess what it is.

Speaker 10 It's kind of like

Speaker 2 when you're

Speaker 2 in middle school, kids that are seniors in high school seem like they're super, super, super old.

Speaker 2 And then you're a senior in high school, and the kids that are in college seem like they're super, super, super, super old.

Speaker 2 When I was 22 going to that 30th birthday party, I was like, damn, these guys are going hard for 30-year-olds.

Speaker 1 The other thing is... They're old as fuck.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And now I'm that old, and I like realize how the young people look at me and i'm like damn like i am not a kid anymore that's that's where it's like acting like a kid and being immature it's like you're fucking 30 dude and as you the older you get the uh less like age matt like i consider us kind of the same age now yeah you know what i mean like a 22 like billy's a lot younger than us but anyone over 30 it's like yeah you could be friends with a 30 year old like that's not that's totally normal yeah

Speaker 1 Well, I'm excited for you. All right, my cool throne is Fat Randy.
He's back. He's trying out for the Broncos stuff.

Speaker 7 Love it. The world needs more Fat Randy.

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 1 Yes. It wasn't that stupid.
Because I get what you're saying. You want to party.

Speaker 1 Also, but I would say that if I had no responsibility, I would be able to work significantly more. Although I still work a lot.

Speaker 1 I get what you're saying. It's not that stupid.

Speaker 11 But it's like, from your point of view, I could totally see like, oh, that's...

Speaker 1 No, no, it's not that stupid. It could be more spontaneous.

Speaker 7 It's like Billy's personal sacrifices are occasionally not getting drunk on a Thursday night. Yeah, that's true.
And that's your service.

Speaker 1 That's no, that's your job.

Speaker 11 This sounds really bad.

Speaker 1 I know that's huge.

Speaker 7 I know, but that's you storming the beach. Every Thursday night that you have to work in the office until 11.45 at night, that's your troop.

Speaker 11 No, no, that's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know. Like, right now we're talking about that.

Speaker 11 You're like, you got, like, you have your kids, and like, when you go to work, you're like, I got to do this because it's not just for me. So that you go hard as fuck.

Speaker 1 I don't think like that.

Speaker 11 I'm hoping that kicks in one day.

Speaker 1 Got it. Well, you're downtown.
Higher power, yeah. A kid first.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 I said it was stupid.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's true.

Speaker 1 Come on. No, I didn't think it was as stupid the more I think about it.
All right, Billy, your hot seat, cool to wrong.

Speaker 11 My hot seat is, I think you guys, we touched on it a little, but Baby Gronk's dad, a video got posted of

Speaker 7 really bad.

Speaker 7 Really sad.

Speaker 11 Really sad kind of.

Speaker 11 I hope Baby Gronk at least makes it to D3 football, which leads me to my next hot seat.

Speaker 7 I hope Baby Gronk beats the fuck out of his dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would be awesome.

Speaker 11 But But hopefully he has success because, I mean, that puts a lot of pressure on you.

Speaker 1 Very feels very exploitative at this point with Baby Gronk's dad.

Speaker 11 If you didn't see it, a video got leaked where

Speaker 1 we're part of it. Yeah, no, we are part of it.
Doesn't feel exploitative with Baby Diggs.

Speaker 10 He's my guy.

Speaker 1 Well, Baby Diggs. I will pump up Baby Diggs.
You can't exploit Baby Diggs. No.

Speaker 1 I want Baby Diggs around me all the time.

Speaker 2 Give me all the videos of Baby Diggs.

Speaker 1 Wait till you see him. He's electric.
I can't wait.

Speaker 11 But basically, he's in an interview with a podcast, and the podcasters are asking Baby Gronk questions, and then Baby Gronk's dad keeps stopping him and telling him to repeat what he says and re-ask the question.

Speaker 11 It's pretty good.

Speaker 1 It was a fast. It was a fast.

Speaker 11 My other hot seat is D3 football.

Speaker 11 Our boss said that playing D3 football is crazy, pointless, and just like, you know,

Speaker 11 you want to play D3 football? Go do it. It's very rewarding.
I actually am reaping more of the benefits of D3 D3 football now than I was when I was actually playing it. How? Just like

Speaker 11 your friend groups, the guys you meet and play with. That's college.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, but just

Speaker 1 I think we got.

Speaker 1 You got college friends.

Speaker 2 What about.

Speaker 2 I understood. So Dave, Dave was saying that, like, he wasn't saying all D3 sports.
He said specifically.

Speaker 1 He was talking. His argument.
I was there for

Speaker 1 the physical toll that you have to go through to play D3 football is a lot. Yeah, the amount you have to put in for the reward is not worth it.

Speaker 11 That's what his argument was.

Speaker 2 Thoughts, uh, like maybe like not even having a playoffs, yeah, if you get it, you make it kind of pointless.

Speaker 1 Not being able to talk to you know the podcast you're on.

Speaker 11 You, when you're cutting off all communication, the funny thing is that when you're out of it, you forget how bad the grind was, and you remember the great times, and reminiscing on those makes it all worth it.

Speaker 11 Yeah, especially when you're sitting around with your buddies.

Speaker 11 I know it's probably just a college thing, but you're like, yo, remember when like, you know bobby lit up this dude or like and you just like talk about random shit no like it makes it all

Speaker 11 i know i i actually agree with billy like group suffer suffering through some bullshit all together as a group for sure makes you way way closer with those people that you all went through that shit with together and this is probably just because it was my experience and like we think that it's much more a fulfilling than like getting hazed with your frat brothers But like frat brothers probably think that it's much more fulfilling to do that stuff because it was cooler.

Speaker 11 It's to each their own, but at the same time, at the end of it, you walk away with, like, you know, you don't, you get it.

Speaker 1 You get it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, those will be your best friends for life.

Speaker 2 When I was watching that clip, I was thinking about how mad you were

Speaker 1 when it inevitably came out.

Speaker 11 No, reading is just like he doesn't get it. It's fine.

Speaker 7 He doesn't understand the glory.

Speaker 11 Yeah, he doesn't understand the ups and downs of high school football.

Speaker 1 Man in the arena. And D3 football.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 That's a movie quote.

Speaker 1 Okay, got it.

Speaker 11 But it was sick. Yeah.
Definitely, you know, if you're looking for it, reach out to.

Speaker 2 So you would do it again and not go D1 and try and walk on at a bigger school. That was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 Just not in Lancilla because

Speaker 11 I would end up, if I tried walking on a D1, I'd see D1 parties and be like, oh shit, why am I doing this? And I wouldn't end up doing it.

Speaker 7 So D3 football is actually better than D1 football.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 In terms of molding young men.

Speaker 1 Probably. No, this is kind of like when I'm like, oh, I would never have wanted to go to college in like a warm weather climate.
Like, who would want to do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Deep down, I know that's fucking bullshit.

Speaker 7 Bill's character. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 11 And then Dricus Duplessis is totally going to get fucked up by Israel Adesania because he was talking some crazy shit about being the only African fighter in the UFC.

Speaker 11 And Israel Adesanya is like pissed off as fuck and he wants to manifest killing him in the ring.

Speaker 1 Pretty crazy. I'll be watching.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 And my cool throne is Aaron Rodgers because Zach Wilson hasn't made his life hell on the field. So that's good to hear as a Jets fan.

Speaker 7 But has he made it heaven off the field?

Speaker 11 The verdict's still out.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, Jake, finish us off. My hot seat's Oakland A's ownership.
So Tuesday night, the fans of Oakland are planning a reverse boycott at the stadium.

Speaker 1 So instead of not going to the game, they're actually all going to go to the game and try to pack the Coliseum.

Speaker 1 They also have won six in a row, and the Royals have lost seven in a row, so they're now tied with the least amount of wins in the league. So we stand on the table.
Stand with the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck John Phillips. So it's going to be a rowdy environment in Oakland tonight.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 7 I understand the thing that they're trying to do, which is we want to show and force that we're still like a committed fan base, despite what our owner is trying to do to us.

Speaker 7 At the end of the day, though, you're also giving them money, right? Yeah. But I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 7 Because Oakland has been the butt of a lot of people's jokes when it comes to like the possum that lives in the stadium or whatever.

Speaker 7 And a lot of stuff like that. But they still do have fans.

Speaker 1 Dude, Baby Diggs is terrible. Baby Diggs is a fucking electric.
This video is horrible. Dude, he makes those one-hand catches.

Speaker 7 Is that what size baby digs is usually, or is it cold?

Speaker 1 He is not.

Speaker 2 He's not going to be good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they were 12 and 50, but they've won six in a row, and now they're 18 and 50. And fuck John Fisher.
Because then it will be crazy. Stand with Oakland.

Speaker 1 My cool throwing, this would have been a Monday topic as well, but John Sterling. Yeah.
Got hit by a foul ball and just kept it going. Your hero.
Amazing. Just speechless.
Perseverance. Oh.

Speaker 1 Not great at all. Professionalism.
No.

Speaker 1 Well, he's had trouble with home run calls, so I can't really see where the ball. He can't track the ball very well.

Speaker 7 Santonian.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
But that was really impressive that he just kept going. It's like Zach Campbell.
It was, yeah.

Speaker 7 Zach Campbell does that all the time.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised he didn't go up to the booth to try to snatch that.

Speaker 7 That would have been awesome if Zach Campbell had stuck his glove out in front of John Strange.

Speaker 1 It's like in a fever pitch, right? Doesn't Drew Barrymore get hit and Jimmy Fallon's like, I got it. Yep.
Yeah. Great moves.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good job, everyone.
Let's do our U.S. Open preview.
So Y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country country-fried turkey.

Speaker 12 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 12 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very, very good friend, Max Homa. And if you hear that noise, his son Cam is joining us as well.
Probably the youngest guest we've ever had on the show.

Speaker 13 God, I'd hope so.

Speaker 1 And it's true. That's true.

Speaker 13 I would absolutely absolutely hope so.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you probably have been able to hear my son scream. Oh, it already flipped over.
My son screaming in the background in some of the Zooms we do, but it's up there. So Max is on.

Speaker 1 He's getting ready for the U.S. Open at his home course.
Is it technically your home course? Let's start there.

Speaker 13 Not even remotely. I played a golf tournament here in college and everyone's like, oh, he's the favorite to win because I won the Pac-12s here, but

Speaker 13 I've only played the course a few times.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I mean, mean it's in my it's in my hometown but it's not uh it's absolutely not my home course this place is far too uh exclusive for uh someone like me so it is your home course yeah

Speaker 7 and by the way you're not the favorite you should just so you know i have 61 there in college right i did yeah so i mean that to me that screams everything this is setting up for max homer's coming out party I mean, listen, I will take all of the good vibes I could possibly get.

Speaker 13 The major season has not been kind to me yet again.

Speaker 13 So I'll take all of it. If I need to say that this is my home course, then I'll say it.

Speaker 13 But yeah, I've just set the record straight. It is 20 miles from my house,

Speaker 13 but far from my home golf course.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 let's work on this majors thing because I did want to bring it up. Yeah, give me something, man.

Speaker 1 You brought it up, so I feel good, you know, being able to discuss it.

Speaker 1 Why do you suck in the majors?

Speaker 13 I think I'm starting to put my finger on it.

Speaker 13 I treat them all the same, but I even noticed it today. I started to get.

Speaker 1 This is funny that I asked that in front of your son. Yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1 Your son is quite literally being a human shield for you right now.

Speaker 13 I thought if I did this today, you guys couldn't be too mean.

Speaker 13 No,

Speaker 13 I could just tell I'm like more anxious. trying too hard all the things i guess you'd hear in the uh other sports where you know you get to the playoffs and it's just like a uh

Speaker 13 i it's not it's not a mental block it's like i know what i'm doing but i just feel more like high strung more wound up instead of just playing golf and i noticed after

Speaker 13 after the uh after the pga you know i went to dallas for the fort worth for the colonial the charles schwab and i got eighth or ninth and i just felt like i was playing golf uh it didn't feel like anything special and at the pga i'm trying so hard never to make a mistake so i think that that's it.

Speaker 13 But uh, I know it's not my golf game, um,

Speaker 13 but man, to be to be determined.

Speaker 1 So, we need to do like a Hoosier's thing with you, like the hoop is 10 feet, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 And the hole's four-point whatever inches wide, they haven't changed it on us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hole's a hole, you know how to get in a hole. That's all we got to say.
You, you gotta like, look, you were born to get inside holes.

Speaker 13 I mean, one time at least.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 7 No, but you've got perspective right now. I mean, this is, it's taking place.
The Sunday is going to be on Father's Day. You've got your son right there.

Speaker 7 This is all lining up for Perspective City for Max Homo. Yes.

Speaker 13 Well,

Speaker 13 I was going to say to you, PFT, because I know your son always comes in and gives and tells you nice, interesting things.

Speaker 13 My son put a little pressure on me because he said, Daddy, my seven-month-old, he came in the room room yesterday after he opened the door and he said, Daddy,

Speaker 13 you know, I want to get you a Father's Day gift, but the best Father's Day gift you could get is winning the U.S. Open.
And I, you know, it put a little pressure on me, but I know he means it.

Speaker 13 I know he can't.

Speaker 13 I know he can't leave me as a son, so he's kind of stuck, but I think he wants his dad to be a winner. Yeah.
And I just got to give that to him.

Speaker 13 So I'm glad that he's here giving me not only perspective, but pressure.

Speaker 1 That's great. Yeah.

Speaker 7 A little motivation.

Speaker 7 Now, does he does he also because my son Chris was saying the other day that Max Homo could never train hard enough to be a member of Smash GC on the live tour that you don't have oh you saw you saw that story yeah so so maybe maybe you can explain it I guess

Speaker 13 who was it that's no longer on smash smash golf club but I guess he wasn't working out hard enough for uh to vibe with Brooks Matt Wolf is no longer on I've I've only heard this through rumors, but apparently there was some rigorous workout and everyone was sore except Brooks because he's a beast.

Speaker 13 And I guess Matt didn't want to do it anymore. Or I don't know.
Brooks didn't want him to, I don't really know. But man, there were a couple of stories.

Speaker 13 I laughed real hard at the way people told them.

Speaker 1 But who knows?

Speaker 13 I wish, you know, like all the

Speaker 13 live PJ tour stuff aside, I wish some of this was more public because.

Speaker 13 You know, in a league where they have teams like that, like a normal sport, I mean, we get, we get those stories. Like Lakers have all kinds of those stories.

Speaker 13 You know, we got Pat Beverly doing funny stuff. Someone was doing something on Twitter the other day where they said this is the funniest NBA season ever.

Speaker 13 And there's the part where Westbrook, after like the motivational speech, is like, let's just have fun, guys. Like, let's have fun.
That's what this is about. And everyone's amused.

Speaker 13 So I wish some of this stuff on that tour would come out because I do think it's interesting and funny. I mean, this

Speaker 13 thing that happened with Matt leaving Smash, I mean, it was. that's entertainment and like i it's not it doesn't make anybody like look bad it's just part of the game We're golfers, man.

Speaker 13 We are not, we are not team-driven people. And I can see how that would be a problem.

Speaker 1 It's the only, like, team golf doesn't work in my mind, but the only way that it could work is if you have like in-fighting and this league stuff happen and you can, you know, everyone can get in on the intrigue.

Speaker 13 Exactly. Because if you think about like.
NBA offseason rules sports. Like it actually might be more interesting than the sport for the first like 70 games.

Speaker 13 And golf all of a sudden in the last year and a half has become like it's got the it's got the fire, it's got the juice.

Speaker 13 So, I lean into that because we have very little interesting off-the-golf course things happen ever. So, I would I would lean into that.

Speaker 7 So, just based on vibes on who you get along with on the golf course, if you were to make your own Smash Golf Club,

Speaker 7 I guess, first of all, what would the name be of it? Probably the homosexuals, I would imagine.

Speaker 1 Uh, who would you draft?

Speaker 13 I've decided it really depends on who owns the tour because I don't

Speaker 1 Yeah, who would you draft?

Speaker 13 You already picked my team, PFT. I'm going Charlie Woods, number one.
Yep. His dad, he wants number two.

Speaker 1 Baby Crock, number three.

Speaker 13 I'll take only straight legs, big cat as my last picture.

Speaker 1 Dude, I would live golf.

Speaker 1 I am golf, but louder when I don't bend my knees whatsoever.

Speaker 1 What up?

Speaker 1 That would be so good. It would be so good.
If it's the only rule, I could be on it, but I just, I can never, ever bend my knees whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Has it been, I would assume right now, like doing media kind of sucks because every question is about the live and the piff and PGA.

Speaker 1 Are you at the end of it? Are you like,

Speaker 1 I can't keep answering questions to answers? I don't even have, you probably don't even have any answers to the questions that are being asked of you.

Speaker 13 Well, I was excited because this is actually kind of the, this is the kind of beginning. I have my press conference tomorrow at three.

Speaker 13 Um, so that will be the true uh meat of it. I would imagine.
I don't know how deep you guys are going to get.

Speaker 1 I was just going to

Speaker 1 little trick that we do is instead of asking the annoying question, we're like, dude, how about these guys asking you this annoying question? And then you have to answer the question.

Speaker 13 That's why you guys are true capital J's.

Speaker 1 Um, I don't know.

Speaker 13 It's it is, though. It's one of those I'm going into.
I don't know anything. It hasn't passed yet.
Nothing's really

Speaker 13 apparently nothing was, you know, we don't know anything. We weren't even told it was happening.
So

Speaker 13 I'm playing that card because I guess it's it's become a theme, but you say something in an interview, they decide to do something else.

Speaker 13 You kind of, you could always do the, you know, freezing cold takes thing. Like, what a dumb thing.
That wasn't true at all.

Speaker 13 So I'm going to start actually trusting my gut here and just not saying a damn thing about it because I don't know anything. So I guess time will tell, but it's what a world, man.
This is crazy.

Speaker 13 You know, when I was a little kid

Speaker 13 practicing golf, trying to think about making a putt to win the U.S. Open, I did not think at any point, if I got good enough, I'd be talking about

Speaker 13 the Saudi public investment fund and what that means to golf.

Speaker 7 I'll give you an easy one, though, because you are going to have to face the media. They'll have some tough questions for you.
Here's an easy one. You know the game, FMK, right?

Speaker 7 Fuck Mary Kill is what we're going to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 FMK, it's your wife, your wife, so two different versions of your wife, and then Jay Monaghan.

Speaker 1 So which one of those do you kill?

Speaker 13 Yeah, he can't even be mad about that one. He's obviously the kill.

Speaker 13 Respectfully.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all due respect. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Wesley Snipes crying.

Speaker 1 Shooting a guy.

Speaker 1 You could also...

Speaker 13 I'm taking my wife on the first two.

Speaker 13 significantly more intimate ones.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this would play, but I've always thought that, you know, when they did this steroid investigation with Congress and all that shit, and you had like Mark McGuire being like, I'm here to talk about, I'm not here to talk about the past, I'm here to talk about the future, and Sammy Sosa just being like, no abla and glace.

Speaker 1 If you just did no abla and glace, like, could anyone say anything? Just be like, wait, did Max?

Speaker 13 I mean, they just think something better be in Spanish.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Right.
Just be like, sorry, I don't know.

Speaker 13 Who's the ESPN do that who covers the

Speaker 13 ESPN to Cortez?

Speaker 1 Oh, Sergio Sergio Dip. Sergio Dip was awesome.

Speaker 1 he's the legend yeah he would find me the one in there and just start rattling something off and i'm just absolutely lost yeah you could just speak italian the entire time too that would be good just speak with your hands

Speaker 13 you guys labeled me as like much more italian than i am i'm like a mutt but probably 10 italian everyone's like i'm italian too i'm like cool yeah we have and speaking of which and we we did do the psa has it gotten better has it have the fans gotten better i don't want to throw awos on the bus under the bus there have have been a couple good ones.

Speaker 13 Yelling, I'm not going to call you a pervert. It doesn't count.

Speaker 1 No, that doesn't. No, that person's banned.
That person's banned. Listen, I'll say it right now in front of you.
Max is playing at his home course.

Speaker 1 In his mind, he thinks he's the favorite, which he's not even close.

Speaker 1 I didn't say I was.

Speaker 1 Everyone needs to come together and be as supportive as possible for Max this weekend. Like,

Speaker 1 this should be when, like, for some reason, every time Phil plays in in New York people love him like everyone needs to be behind Max 100%

Speaker 1 There can't be any funny business no P words and I mean this like funny business If we see any P words or hear any P words you're banned from the show We will we will find you and we will publicly humiliate you in front of everyone

Speaker 13 Somebody made me laugh pretty hard. They're like, how did

Speaker 13 Brooks get Brooks of the year or Blake of the Year and Max got pervert?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that one was tough.

Speaker 13 Probably. I mean, he earned that, but it is pretty fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we're going to be listening.

Speaker 7 We're going to be watching. If we hear the P-words out there, it is takey season coming up in what, three weeks?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Four weeks.
I don't know if I've thought about that.

Speaker 13 That's why I don't want to throw the AWS.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 7 This is the biggest challenge that they've had.

Speaker 1 It's earned, not given.

Speaker 7 If they want to be, what, seven-time winners? Eight-time? Eight-time winners. This is where you step up to the play because we'll

Speaker 1 take it away. We'll give it to the daddy gang.

Speaker 13 If the AWLs do not win

Speaker 13 know, their eighth year in a row, ninth year in a row, whatever it is, um, at the take east, I will say I might have to bring back to all of all of the AWLs who have been meeting me.

Speaker 13 I might have to start saying the suck my dick thing that we don't say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so uh, it might be one of those two wrongs might make a right.

Speaker 1 Yes, I like that. No, but seriously, everyone's got to be cool about it because we will not, we will, Dak Shepherd had a huge year again with his podcast.

Speaker 1 Um, Prince Harry, there's a lot of good podcasts out there.

Speaker 1 They could get

Speaker 1 AWS.

Speaker 1 That would be a tough blow.

Speaker 1 That would be rough.

Speaker 7 Mean Girls are having a good year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Mean Girls pods popping off.

Speaker 7 I don't know what they call it.

Speaker 1 How about OnlyStands with Glenny Balls? I mean, that's kind of... Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's the number one audience.

Speaker 13 What a podcast he backed his way into.

Speaker 1 He's a genius. That's remarkable.
He's a genius.

Speaker 13 Every time that comes across my feed, it shocks me because I've been around Glenny enough to just, I just never saw that in his cards with these

Speaker 13 women basically

Speaker 13 begging him to be a part of their

Speaker 13 profession.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 13 my oh my, is he taking advantage of this?

Speaker 13 I'm impressed.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're a listener to OnlyStands.

Speaker 13 I'm an Instagram on my feed listener.

Speaker 1 I'm a supporter of Glenn Balls.

Speaker 1 I didn't want to get the P-word going again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, Glenny Balls, the Wolf of Ball Street. Did you see the very, like, there was an actual article the other day that, all right, see you, Cam.
Bye, Cam. Thanks, Cam.

Speaker 13 Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 Okay, now that he's gone,

Speaker 1 you better not fucking suck on this weekend, okay?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, but the Wolf of Ball Street, there was a press release. Some dick pill company,

Speaker 1 their stock went up by like 80% because they announced a sponsorship with Glenny Balls. And only stands.
come on he's moving markets the guy is the

Speaker 13 glenny balls has like the greatest job slash is the greatest at a job that anyone has ever done like he is he's just an incredible so i gotta tell i gotta tell one glenny story um i hope i mean i don't think this is a i'm proud of him for this so this is a good story so i hope he's not upset i'm sharing the uh you know behind the scenes stuff but uh When I did my Sunday conversation with Caleb like last year or two years ago or whatever,

Speaker 13 I had known Caleb quite a bit, but I had never met Glenny. So hang out with Glenny, whatever.
That night, me, Caleb, and a couple of my friends went to dinner.

Speaker 13 And when we were at dinner, I was just kind of asking about everywhere. I was like, you know, it's Glenny guy, you know, what, you know, seems like a trip.
You know, he's got the Hawaiian shirt on.

Speaker 13 He'll, you know, he's just, you know, he's built different. He just follows, kind of eats the ice cream.
I was like, what's, you know, what's his deal? Like, how, how is he?

Speaker 13 Because he, Glenny had also texted me like to come meet us out that night when we went to the bars. And he's like, oh, no, Glenny's a man.

Speaker 13 He's like, also, he goes, he gets more girls girls than anybody I've seen. And I was like, come on, like, actually, Glenny Balls, like his name's Glenny Balls.
Girls, all about him.

Speaker 13 He goes, yep, all about him. So text Glenny.
Caleb comes with us. We end up going out to the bars.
Glenny ends up rolling in 30 minutes later.

Speaker 13 I would say five minutes after Glenny gets to the table, there are two girls on his arm. And Caleb is just, you know, doing the Caleb face like, I told you.

Speaker 1 And I was like, God dang, dude. Glenny.
He's a guy. He's got the sauce.

Speaker 7 We might have to cut this part out, but there was one time where Glenny was, he was out of commission. He was on the DL for two weeks with a sprained neck because he ate so much pussy.

Speaker 1 I was going to say that story if PFT didn't, so we won't cut it out.

Speaker 1 That's so sick. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 1 he came back and he was like, I can't move my neck. Yeah, no, he was like, why? He's like, I was eating pussy.

Speaker 7 Neck brace like Uncle Jr.

Speaker 1 in court, but for the real Uncle Jr.

Speaker 1 I mean, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 No, he's the man. Yeah.
He's the man. It's the old Arnold.
It's the old Arnold line. Eating isn't cheating.
So he's fine.

Speaker 1 I'm not so sure we can all subscribe to that one.

Speaker 13 I mean, Glenny seems to make his own rules, so he can do whatever he wants.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I got another balls-related question, but it's actually about the golf ball.

Speaker 7 Does golf have a ball problem? I've been reading a lot about how the players on tour, there's some sort of like, I don't know, period where you guys can

Speaker 7 submit your reviews of whether or not the balls have gotten too good. Have the balls gotten too good in golf?

Speaker 13 I mean, the balls are quite good.

Speaker 13 I mean,

Speaker 13 are they too good? Is the question. I don't know.

Speaker 13 It's weird. I guess we only know what we have, so we all like it and don't want to have anything change.

Speaker 13 If my phone falls one more time, I'm going to lose my mind. Sorry, boys.

Speaker 1 That's okay. We have like half your head.
It's fine. This is actually

Speaker 1 a great YouTube. If you're listening to this, go watch on YouTube.

Speaker 13 I'll go to hold it.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 there's a problem that, so we're at the U.S. Open is run by the USGA.
The USGA is the one doing this. They think we have our balls are too good.

Speaker 13 And they have an issue because they've, you know, hosted a bunch of golf tournaments that have kind of gone awry. They've made a couple of rules changes that people haven't liked.
I like the USGA.

Speaker 13 Well, I like most of the people at the USGA. And they're in this weird spot where I feel like if they told us that the sky was blue, we would say, no, it's purple at this point.

Speaker 13 Like there's just not a lot of trust. So

Speaker 13 we could, we, we're getting reports about what, why the ball is so good. And I just don't think a lot of guys are 100% in on their info.

Speaker 13 But I also think, I mean, selfishly, I wouldn't want to change. I don't want to change balls.

Speaker 13 My balls, my balls feel, feel good.

Speaker 13 when I got them in the bag. And when I take them out of the bag, they feel good too.
So

Speaker 13 that was supposed to be a joke, and that sounds fucking painful.

Speaker 7 I guess, from like a viewer perspective, I've never once watched golf and been like, I can't watch this sport anymore. The balls are too good.

Speaker 1 Is there actually like an impact?

Speaker 13 That's kind of my take. There are the sickos out there, the golf sickos, which I get.
They're the golf sickos who the golf courses they think are playing too short now. You know, we're,

Speaker 13 I guess,

Speaker 13 not playing it to how they were designed anymore. And there's an issue with, you know, make it having more land and how, what are you going to keep doing? Just knocking down trees and homes.

Speaker 13 Like, you can't keep making the golf course longer and longer. Like, that's one angle, I guess.
But I just don't know any of my

Speaker 13 many friends who casually watch golf who have thought to themselves, I'm not turning this shit on on Sunday. I'm so fucking sick of watching Rory McElroy hit driver and then a wedge.

Speaker 13 Like, I know there's sickos out there. I know there's, there's great golf fans who are in it deep and they're very invested.

Speaker 13 I just don't think that for the majority of the fans, that's that big of a deal. And so it's, I'm just a little bit, I'm not so sure where I stand on it.
I like what I play. I, I, I don't know.

Speaker 13 It just doesn't seem like a big enough deal to make this big of a fuss about it. But I mean, shoot, I'm just a golfer.
I don't, I don't really know shit about anything. I don't know shit about fuck.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you could say that now because Cam's in the other room. Um, I want to go back to something because we should, we should talk about it.
Positive vibes going to the U.S. Open.

Speaker 1 61 at this course still is the course record uh is it going to be set up similar distance wise and every i know they make the us open very hard every year but and like 61 probably won't happen just by the design but is it like pretty much the same course that you have the course record on

Speaker 13 yeah it's pretty similar i mean i wouldn't let my home golf course change too much after uh the 61 um but yeah i mean it's it's longer some people are saying they max proofed it i i don't know i've just heard a few people a few murmurs um But no, they lengthened it actually quite a bit.

Speaker 13 They've added some T's on the part threes. I don't know if you've seen that picture that went around, the 290-yard part three.
Jesus. That was not there when I did that.

Speaker 13 So, yeah,

Speaker 13 it'll be a bit longer, but they haven't changed too much of the golf course.

Speaker 13 But I think they're going to make it firm. The sun came out today, so they can start making it really fast.
And I mean, I can't imagine it playing

Speaker 13 to a place where you could shoot 61, but I've seen, I mean, I've seen crazier things done. Uh, I would love to be, uh, I'd love to somehow get back to that place and somehow fire something like that.

Speaker 13 Uh, but I don't know. Play if you play the golf course today, I could tell you I could have seen it, but I just imagine by Thursday, it's going to be a different golf course.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 7 I was going to say, what do you shoot on a 290-yard par three? What would you take out of your bag?

Speaker 13 Uh, today it was downhill, a little downwind, so I hit three iron. But there's another par three on the front 9-7 that was 265 into the win yesterday.
So we had three wood. I mean, it's a monster.

Speaker 13 I could see,

Speaker 13 I guess,

Speaker 13 you know, with the U.S. Open, they have the amateur qualify or the qualifying for it.
So you get a lot of, or at least a handful every once in a while of guys who,

Speaker 13 you know, don't play professional golf. They're just, they qualify for the U.S.
Open. And some of those guys don't hit it super far, like the young kids these days.

Speaker 13 And I could see somebody having to bang driver on one of those two part threes, which is a tall task. But it's a fair golf course, but you look at that number and it's pretty daunting.
But you know,

Speaker 13 dimple heads like us know that pars just

Speaker 13 a construct. It's just about how many total.
72 at Shinnocock. I mean, you could call it even par, but it's just a 72.
Right.

Speaker 1 Dude, I go driver on par threes no matter what the distance. So that actually works for my game.
Straight legs, straight drives, short butts. 90 yards, driver.
Straightest golfer in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just take a little bit off of it. What? So wait, get back.
So that's 61.

Speaker 1 like when you were shooting that 61 were you in your in your head like holy i am so on fire we need to get we get back to that max

Speaker 13 i mean i was full blackout uh it was a nice day um yeah i don't know it's one of those one of those uh

Speaker 13 i mean we've all had it one of those days where everything's just going right um but yeah i can't i can get back to that max i mean It was in California, obviously.

Speaker 13 So the golf gods treat me quite nicely in this state.

Speaker 13 So I'm hoping for a little bit of that magic. But every once in a while, you know, the kid can get it going.

Speaker 13 It's been a while since I fired a 61, about 10 years, but

Speaker 13 I mean, I feel good. I'm not going to, I'm, it's not going to sit up here and guarantee a 61 or anything near it.

Speaker 13 But it is nice to play a golf course where I know that I've done something pretty great. Yes.
And then get to play a major.

Speaker 13 I mean,

Speaker 13 that feels like part of part of positive vibes only. I mean, that is very positive.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I I mean, look back at what happened with Matt Fitzpatrick, right?

Speaker 7 When he won, that was on the course.

Speaker 1 Oh, he does Massachusetts. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Like his home course in Massachusetts. I know he's Britain.

Speaker 13 Yeah, the Englishman's home course in

Speaker 13 his neighborhood of Boston.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can do it.

Speaker 7 You can definitely do this. I've been watching a lot of the videos this week of people just dropping balls into the rough and watching them disappear into the Bermuda grass.
I love that.

Speaker 7 If you're out there and you're playing in the U.S. Open, you've got spotters.
You've got guys that will show you where your ball went.

Speaker 7 If you went out there and you played in this rough without those spotters, how many balls do you think you'd lose just by missing the fairway by 10 feet?

Speaker 13 So not as, so those videos are so fucking annoying, by the way.

Speaker 13 I guess they're like, it's become like a yearly golf tradition just to be like, you see this, you can't even see the ball. Yeah.

Speaker 13 But off the fairway, the rough's not really that bad. It's not like a normal U.S.
Open. It's not great, but it's not that bad.

Speaker 13 But where they're dropping, it's behind a few of the greens where they let it grow. So I don't think you would lose that many balls,

Speaker 13 you know, hitting your second shots over greens, even if you didn't have spotters. But there's a couple spots around.

Speaker 13 This is, I'll give a little inside baseball when you go, when you guys watch this weekend,

Speaker 13 around the bunkers is the longest, thickest grass known to man.

Speaker 13 And you'll just barely miss the ball going into the bunker. And people are going to be so fucked and so frustrated because the ball is going to be, you know, two, three steps from being good.

Speaker 13 And it's going to be so, so, so bad. And I would, you could definitely lose a couple in there.
I lost, uh, we lost in our group yesterday, left of eight. We lost a ball or two.
Uh, it's like hay

Speaker 13 in there, and it's, it's not good. So I can see that, but I don't, I mean, I don't think I would lose a ball here without a spotter, but I mean, I have to say that because I'm a professional.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 But there's been a couple of U.S. opens where if you didn't have spotters, I guarantee you I'd lose two, three, or four for sure.

Speaker 7 I always love the guy that says like, oh, he'd rather be in the bunker there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know, like when you hit it right next to the bunker, oh, that's a tough break because actually the sand is preferable. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 13 That's a that's

Speaker 1 you thought about

Speaker 1 I was watching the Canadian Open on Sunday and I listen, I am a dimple head, but I'm not up to all the rules. Fleetwood just like absolutely crushing one into the stands and getting a free drop.

Speaker 1 I then spent the next 10 minutes on my couch being like, is there an advantage to just like hitting it as hard as you can right into the stands over and over for free drops?

Speaker 1 And then I realized, Oh, yeah, you're a professional golfer, so you can probably just aim for the pin. But have you thought about that?

Speaker 1 Just like letting it rip and just being like, What does it matter? It's a fucking, I get a free drop.

Speaker 13 Yeah, so funny you mentioned that. One of my favorite Joe stories, my caddy.

Speaker 13 Uh, we were in uh Minnesota three years ago, maybe, and the last hole is a par five, and the second shot's all over water. And we were between three iron and three wood.
It was

Speaker 13 in the pin, you know, it was just past the water. And then there's a decent amount of green, a bunch of rough, and then the grandstands.
And I'm in between.

Speaker 13 I think if I don't hit three iron, great, it's going to go in the water. But three wood felt like too much.
So Joe goes, listen. He's like, I got a great idea.
Because let's hit three wood.

Speaker 13 If it comes out really good, it'll just fly long and it'll bounce into the,

Speaker 13 well, backstop, basically, backstopping. It'll bounce into the grandstand and it'll stop in the rough.
And maybe if you hit it hard enough, it'll shoot back onto the green.

Speaker 13 And he's like, oh, kind of, kind of, kind of cocky about the way he said it. I'm like, it's brilliant.
Like, you're a genius. This is why I pay you the big bucks.
So we hit three wood.

Speaker 13 I hit it and it's right at it. But I hit it good.
So it's definitely going over the green into the stands. And he's yelling while it's in the air, hit that backstop.

Speaker 1 Hit that fucking backstop.

Speaker 13 It was 280 yards away, and I can still hear the ping of one of the metal parts of the structure. It hit it, hit the dead center pole, shot straight back past the flag into the water

Speaker 13 i go to look at joe i honestly of all the bad you know what are bad shots you get bad whatever of all the things i went to look at joe because i was going to lose my mind laughing because it was just everything went perfect he thought it was great he was talking about it in the air or whatever i went to go find joe and he was already like 30 yards ahead of me with his head down

Speaker 1 he thought he broke the course he's like he thought he broke the game yeah he was basically me sitting on my couch. So you should check that.
That's hilarious.

Speaker 7 What about the end of that tournament, the Canadian Open, when Dew got tackled on the Hadwin?

Speaker 1 Adam Hadway.

Speaker 7 Yeah, trying to celebrate with his buddy, like spraying champagne on him. Have you thought about who you would like to spray champagne on you and then also get jacked up on the 18th green?

Speaker 13 I can honestly say I've never thought about that.

Speaker 13 Who would be funny?

Speaker 13 Patrick Reed. There's a lot of funny ones.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Patrick Reed.

Speaker 13 That would be funny.

Speaker 13 Bryson makes these kinds of things funny, although he's big, and that would be Needa Big.

Speaker 1 People are asking if he lifts anymore. Bryson isn't that big.

Speaker 14 Is he not that big anymore?

Speaker 1 No, he's not that big. Kind of a weenie.
Dang.

Speaker 13 Dang, muscles, baby.

Speaker 13 I don't know.

Speaker 13 Hadwin's not a big fella. He was not.
I feel like he was an easy target.

Speaker 13 I would like to know someone like, you know, Brooks' size was doing what Adam was doing if that security guard would feel the same. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Kind of bravado. But I don't know.
I'm going to have to table that one. There's a lot of funny people.

Speaker 13 Actually, right now, Justin Thomas took a bunch of money off me today, so I'd like him to get tackled.

Speaker 13 Actually, that's my answer forever. I would love just Thomas after.

Speaker 1 Or Ricky Fowler.

Speaker 7 That'd be funny to see Ricky just go flying. His belt pops off.
His neon belt.

Speaker 1 Ricky was my partner today, so he doesn't deserve that after what happened to us.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Max, this has been been awesome.
I got one last question.

Speaker 15 That's the sound of extremely processed dog food, which is the norm at most pet food companies. But at the Farmer's Dog, we do things differently.
We gently cook our food without ultra-processing.

Speaker 15 It's developed by our team of board-certified nutritionists, made to human-grade safety standards, and portioned for your dog, then delivered right to your door. How does that sound to you?

Speaker 15 Get 50% off your first box, available only at thefarmersdog.com.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we got to think positive. We got to think, don't push it.
You are great. You're a great golfer.
You're about to go to your home course where you have a 61.

Speaker 1 I just want you to know, and this isn't really a question. It's more just a statement.

Speaker 1 It's Father's Day, obviously, for you. You're doing it for Cam.
You got to visualize Cam being put into your arms at the 18th green after you win.

Speaker 1 But also remember, all the dads, and I'm not going to name names, but some people who, you know, really like you and consider you a friend who are going to bet on you also have children, and you could be ruining Father's Day for them too.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and some of those friends have a big move upcoming. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's a lot of stress. And, and also, some of those friends, again, not going to name names,

Speaker 1 had Will Zalatoris in the U.S. Open last year also on Father's Day.
And he missed that putt. And he screamed, what the fuck, in front of all his kids on Father's Day.

Speaker 1 So we don't want to have a repeat of that for these hypothetical fathers out there that's fair um

Speaker 1 hypothetically speaking though it it does seem a little bit easier to get over after hypothetically one of those friends made like 70 000 in the last brooks yeah yeah but i'll tell you what when when people say like oh yeah you know like you a bad loss and then you look in your kid's eyes and it all melts away that's bullshit That is bullshit.

Speaker 1 Last year in the U.S. Open, my son actually said, Dada needs a break.
And I was like, yeah, I need a break. This is bad.
So

Speaker 1 I'm going to root for you hard. We got all the power behind you.
You just got to think positive thoughts. You can do this.
We know you can do it.

Speaker 13 I'm in, boys. I feel good.
I know I say that every time, but I do feel good.

Speaker 1 No, this time's different.

Speaker 13 This time's different.

Speaker 13 It just takes one, you know, and

Speaker 13 maybe that is this one. So I'm excited.
It will be fun, man. Getting to play.

Speaker 13 I'll just excite getting to play a major championship in my hometown is sick. So

Speaker 13 it'll be a blast. I'm looking forward to making it a very happy Father's Day for all of my gambling friends who are dads out there.

Speaker 1 Let's just do baby steps, too. You've done the baby step of making the cut in the majors.
Let's do baby step of,

Speaker 1 let's say, top 10 going into Sunday. In the mix.
Yeah. In the mix.
I'll take it. Let's see.
Just play golf. Just play golf on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Let it fall wherever it may.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Just get in the mix and then let it rip.

Speaker 13 I'm all in on that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I just want you to shoot as good as you possibly can. I want you to be the best max that max can be.
That's it. You know, the rest is just a number.

Speaker 7 No, yeah, your best is actually shooting a 61 every day.

Speaker 1 You've proven that you can do that.

Speaker 7 Yeah. So you should just do that again.
461.

Speaker 13 I mean, that would be sick. 36 under par.
If I don't win that one, I think I got to just crawl in a hole.

Speaker 13 But yeah, in the wise words of Russell Westbrook, we're just going to have fun. Yeah, we're just going to have fun.

Speaker 1 That's all that matters.

Speaker 13 As long as we have fun, it's a successful day.

Speaker 1 Last tip for you. I do this as a larger man who doesn't like to work out.
When I go on the treadmill, I put a towel over the screen so that I don't have to look at the mileage slowly creep up.

Speaker 1 What if you just put a big towel over the leaderboard and you're like, I'll just let me know on Sunday where I stand.

Speaker 13 I don't. I don't hate that.
That would be all time if you finished like, I was the U.S.

Speaker 11 Open, you never know.

Speaker 13 You finished 10 over and you're just like, look at Joe, did I win?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Did we do it?

Speaker 1 No, no man you got 40 seconds i'll put a towel over the treadmill and i'll i'll get on it for like 30 minutes and then i'll take it off and it'll be like you've run 1.25 miles i'm like what the fuck that'd be embarrassing

Speaker 13 that ran two miles in like seven and a half minutes no minutes broke the record bullshit oh who who was it

Speaker 1 i'm i'm not a is it a two-mile record

Speaker 13 yeah

Speaker 1 jake i feel like that's oh yeah oh that last last question do you think there's some some rumors now that Jake's hole in one was fake? Any thoughts?

Speaker 1 Yeah, those people are idiotic, and I hit a hole in one.

Speaker 1 Screw all those people. I'm starting to think the rumor might be true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a perfect crime.

Speaker 13 Quick, funny story. Day before, Jake, the day before your hole-in-one, one of my best friends, Steven, made his first hole in one.

Speaker 13 I'm in a group chat with him and my buddy Kyle, who has not had a hole in one. So Steven's freaking out.
Kyle was a little bit jealous.

Speaker 13 And the next day, your video gets kind of flowing around our group chat. And my friend Kyle said something to the tune of, I need to get on a golf course, ASAP.

Speaker 13 The golf gods are clearly asleep right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, it was pointed out to me that my initial reaction when someone said that video was fake was I was like, Jake would never fake anything. He's the most honest guy I know.

Speaker 1 And the person said, exactly. And I was like, hmm.
Now

Speaker 1 if it gets revealed that it's fake, I'll do the Ray Allen tweet. Okay.

Speaker 1 But how are we going to reveal it? We'll just pay one of his friends.

Speaker 1 $1,000.

Speaker 7 I just say that it's fake.

Speaker 1 It was perfectly done, by the way. Like the way you cheered and had your friends cheer was perfect.
Yeah, I was talking about

Speaker 1 it. I was talking about these accusations with my friend over the weekend, and they're like, oh, yeah, you should have ran up to the ball.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 When you get a hole in one, you're not thinking of every step of how you're going to film that. Exactly.
Especially if you faked it. Right, exactly.
Especially if you faked it.

Speaker 1 Why would you run up if the ball's not in there?

Speaker 7 It's convenient, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Also, I have the full video of my my friend running up and giving me the thumbs up the one who was running yeah he was in the ball but we didn't see the ball we just saw the thumbs up i would be like a police officer i would have i would have a body cam i golf with a body cam on me at all times and i activate it on par threes and short par fours just it's just moving the goalpost if i didn't have a video no one would believe it now i have a video but it's not good enough well either way it was probably fake but max uh i'm when i fill out my next scorecard um i'm gonna just casually put in a hole in one and just like just let it sit there could you if you could please retweet it and be like, holy shit, congrats on the hole in one.

Speaker 1 I would appreciate that. Hey, I'm in.
You buy me a beer. I'm in.
Okay, done.

Speaker 7 Deal. Oh, Max, can you also get us one of those hats that just say media on them?

Speaker 1 I love those hats.

Speaker 13 Did you see Trent had one on?

Speaker 7 Oh, he got one.

Speaker 7 Those hats kick ass. Those and the ones that just say grit on them at a golf tournament.

Speaker 1 I love those. I'll try to find one.

Speaker 13 I got it.

Speaker 13 That hat was, I was like, so you don't need a credential anymore. You just need to go into the pro shop and buy a media hat.

Speaker 1 Anybody can buy one. I

Speaker 1 I want that too. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Citizen journalism.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right.
Well, Max, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Best of luck. We are rooting for you very hard.
And go get them.

Speaker 13 Thank you. Thank you very much.
You guys are the best. PFT.
I love you guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Oh, you want to guess real quick? Because you've gotten the ball so many more.

Speaker 7 You want 25 again?

Speaker 1 25 has been high.

Speaker 13 I have a new mission. I want 69.
I want to get it before Billy gets.

Speaker 1 All right. Numbers, Max has 69.
I'll take 17. 18.

Speaker 7 I'll take 25.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 No, you don't have 69. You know, I got a tattooed on me after I got a moment.
Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Max has 69.
Okay.

Speaker 1 21. Okay.
Billy's mad, just so you know. No, he doesn't even care.
He's very mad.

Speaker 1 He's 20 mad.

Speaker 1 I don't care at all. I know.
He's so mad. Memes, you ever gotten it?

Speaker 2 20.

Speaker 1 1.

Speaker 1 What I guess. Oh, I guess 17.

Speaker 1 He's not mad at all. He's just really...

Speaker 11 No, if 69 hits and someone else gets it.

Speaker 1 Oh, 56.

Speaker 11 I'm going to smash the ball machine.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's how mad you are. You're waiting to do it.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 11 it's a threat. So if you want to choose it and it hits, like, no more ball machines.

Speaker 1 But again, not mad until she got a bunch of money.

Speaker 1 It's just stopping a baby and not ruining a line for a line in the sand. Yeah.
It's fine. Okay.

Speaker 7 Because you stole my sex number ball.

Speaker 1 All right. Thank you, Max.
All right. See ya.
461. See you guys.
Take care, Billy. See you later.
Bye. See ya.

Speaker 7 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 14 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 14 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk, chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 14 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 14 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 15 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, five-time major champion, Brooks Kepka. We are, he is, just to set the scene, he's watching his Ps go down very sadly.

Speaker 1 You know what, Brooks? I'll cheer you up. I'm sure they'll get in a fight and maybe win the fight at the end of the game.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I hope so. That's about all, that's about the only thing we're going to win tonight.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, all right, we can't let this, though, affect what's going on this week because

Speaker 1 we stumbled on the fact that every time you come on before a major, you win the major. This is the week.
L.A. Country Club.

Speaker 1 Let's start with how you're feeling. Give us general vibes.
You feeling good? I mean, a lot of things in the news the last couple of weeks. How are you feeling?

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 13 It's been crazy.

Speaker 13 Five feels great. I got to be honest.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 13 I've sobered up. We're back on track.
We're ready to go.

Speaker 13 Yeah. So definitely feeling a lot better than I did a few days after.

Speaker 7 Yeah. That's actually a smart move is to just get real banged up right afterwards and then you feel great, you know, a week later.
That's that's like thinking seven-dimensional chess.

Speaker 7 We saw you at the P's game.

Speaker 7 Yeah, the internet had its fun with you at the Panthers game. They didn't understand just how locked in you were on the hockey.

Speaker 13 Oh, I was locked. I was glued.
Didn't even want to blink. I was afraid I was going to miss something.

Speaker 1 Then the heat game the next night.

Speaker 1 Were you just gassed? Like, you looked gassed by the heat game.

Speaker 13 Oh, the heat game, I think, was my.

Speaker 13 I think I had slept like five hours. The total going to the heat game, I was struggling to stay awake.
Honestly, the drive down was miserable. It was like two and a half hours.
And

Speaker 13 yeah,

Speaker 13 I was banged up. And then they lost and made it way worse the drive down.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 But yeah, so I got it all out of my system.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I mean, it makes you appreciate the good days. Yeah.
That's what it does.

Speaker 1 Your health.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When did you start to

Speaker 1 feeling great? I like that. Instead of being like injured, you know, being injured makes you appreciate your health.
No, being violently hungover for four days makes you appreciate being not hungover.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, the worst is the day like you're sober and you get that first hangover, but then the delayed onset hangover that happens the day after you're sober, that's almost worse.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I just figured if I just kept drinking, that I'd be all right. Yeah, so that was more the

Speaker 13 plan I was on. So it was a solid three days, four days of just,

Speaker 1 I was banged up. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You deserved it. So today, i i heard that you shot 62 today is that true

Speaker 13 yeah could have yeah

Speaker 13 i like that we'll go with that okay would you shoot something around there

Speaker 13 okay i have no idea uh it was definitely on a par i beat dj and will and i played those two today so i'd beat them okay nice and now i heard a little birdie told me that this course plays slow Is that true?

Speaker 1 I don't understand how a course could play slow. Is there like a log jam anywhere? That's the only thing I'm worried about with you this weekend.

Speaker 13 yeah i mean i'm not really sure who i'm playing behind

Speaker 1 but you know if certain people are in front of me it could it could play slow yeah but just saying but you've learned the trick that you aren't going to tell anyone but we know the trick because we just picked up on context clues if you walk slower then you can't be held up

Speaker 13 exactly just take you know a little A little longer getting to the ball, maybe a little bathroom break.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and I mean, this is a perfect course for it. You've got got the Playboy Mansion that is overlooking the course.
Doesn't it like, isn't the backyard of the Playboy Mansion on this golf course?

Speaker 13 It is. That was the only reason.
I mean, I played this course in college before they redid it, and that was the only thing that I remembered from it.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 13 The golf course wasn't that bad. I couldn't remember any of the holes, but I just remember the Playboy Mansion was on it.
And it's a damn shame you can't even see it.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 that could have been fun.

Speaker 7 The whole placement on that was that number six.

Speaker 7 I can't wait till they put that one out. We should do another pin placement map and then have number six just be a bunch of vaginas all over it.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 We're excited to watch you play. Southern California golf.
I've heard there's been a lot of people talking about the rough.

Speaker 7 They're talking about the rough, I feel like, because it's the U.S. Open and you have to talk about the rough.
Is it really that bad or is it just in like a few spots?

Speaker 13 It's bad in some spots, but I don't know. I really, honestly, the practice runs, I haven't been in it.

Speaker 10 I like that.

Speaker 1 I like that a lot.

Speaker 13 I'm just planning on not going in it, so then I should be all right.

Speaker 7 Yeah, smart. That's why I don't have a sandwich.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 I say keep out of the bunker.

Speaker 1 Driver and putter. All right.
I got the guys you're playing

Speaker 1 behind.

Speaker 1 So Billy Horschel, Chris Kirk, and Brian Harmon.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're fine.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Boom.

Speaker 13 That's a good start.

Speaker 1 I like that. Yes.

Speaker 13 I didn't even look to see it was in front of me, but I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
All right. We feel good.

Speaker 1 What was the workout you were doing where you were just jumping up and down in your pool?

Speaker 13 Oh, yeah. Oh, that was the other day, wasn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 13 Sorry, it's been a bit of a blur lately.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it was a little bit of a detox. Had to get a little sweat going.

Speaker 13 I don't know. My trainer, he's actually trying to get me to go in the pool right now, but I'll be honest, I'm 100% way too lazy and don't even feel like going.

Speaker 7 Your trainer sounds awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wait. How does that work? if you're trained like you hire a trainer and he's like brooks it's time to work out you can say no

Speaker 13 yeah i've had my i'm picking my moments right now uh i'm trying to get the game you know we've had the game on tv so i'm trying i'm using every excuse in the book right now yeah i'm like the panthers are on i don't really feel like it the panthers are gonna lose now you're bombed yeah it's like okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna be depressed for a little bit and then yeah so i'm trying i'm trying my best here yeah you don't want to be depressed in a pool that's a sad look yes like kendall roy yeah is that the workout that that we were hearing about with uh is that the smash gc workout that you know it's not for everyone that is not that is not that is not the smash the smash workout is uh is is more

Speaker 1 you guys could do it it's easy what does that mean we could do the other one too you just were in the pool jumping up and down yeah yeah i mean you guys are athletes you guys could do it all yeah

Speaker 1 i just saw it and i was like is this a workout or is he playing in this pool?

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah, both.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Both.

Speaker 13 But yeah, the Smash GC workouts are

Speaker 13 apparently really tough.

Speaker 1 That's what I heard.

Speaker 1 Where are we at with

Speaker 1 the naming of your son Blake?

Speaker 13 Yeah, we're still working on that.

Speaker 13 I definitely know that when you were messaging Jenna that she, I don't know, she's somewhere back. She's behind me somewhere.
But

Speaker 13 I think honestly, a win this week just solidifies it.

Speaker 1 Because we did make a deal. She said if he wins the U.S.
Open, then I get to, she's like, I, Jenna gets to name the child, which she is giving birth. So she probably should get right a first refusal.

Speaker 1 But I said deal. So

Speaker 1 maybe it's just, maybe me and Jenna will handle it.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think, yeah, you guys keep just DMing over Instagram.

Speaker 1 We'll get the baby's name eventually. It'll be all right.
Dion Kepka. What do you think about that? That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 That is a good name Florida State that's hey I like it I tried I tried to go with one of my sons' Deion Katz and that was shut down quickly prime yeah

Speaker 7 um yeah we were talking to max a second ago about these par threes on the course what are you hitting on the on the 290 yard par three uh

Speaker 13 i hit three iron and three wood on one on both of them there's like it's stupid they have two of them that are that distance i mean they're basically part fours that are just happening to be part threes.

Speaker 7 You think anybody's going to lay up?

Speaker 13 There's got to be a short hitter out there that definitely does.

Speaker 7 But you can't do that.

Speaker 7 Let's say that my drive topped out. It probably does top out around 270, 280.
And knowing that I couldn't reach the green, you can't lay up on a par three at a U.S. Open.

Speaker 13 No, you're definitely smacking. I mean, there would be definitely guys that smack driver, which would be quite funny.

Speaker 1 That's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 13 and then there's there's one that could play like 75 yards which which is really weird one of the par threes

Speaker 1 yeah if you go to the front of the t-box and put the pin in the front it can play like 75 yards jesus that's i mean i'd hit driver on that too just take a little bit off um by the way did you see so uh our colleague dan ratport did a um a watch video with matt fitzpatrick from last year's us open

Speaker 1 um hank had the good idea of maybe we could do one with you uh from the pga championship. So I'm just pulling up right now.
Hole one, you hit driver. That was sick.
You fucking crushed that.

Speaker 13 Crushed it. Murdered it.

Speaker 1 Literally,

Speaker 13 I don't know. I think it went in the fairway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it did. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 It's not, we're just going to say it did.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then hole two.

Speaker 13 Oh, I don't even remember.

Speaker 1 I just remember how I was told that trophy. I just remember how I pulled the trophy at the end, and then it got a bit blurry after that.

Speaker 1 And there's our recap. That was a good recap.

Speaker 7 That was a really good recap.

Speaker 1 I think it was perfect. Yeah, we got it all.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 What's a good score here on this course? Is Par, you were saying like a couple weeks ago, Par is a good score with PGA. Is Par a good score here?

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think so. With the rough being difficult.
I think, honestly,

Speaker 13 I think winner will probably be six to eight under.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Are you going to win?

Speaker 13 I mean, that's why I'm on.

Speaker 1 here. Yeah.
Yeah. That's true.

Speaker 1 This is the final prep. This is a final.
This is more important than doing anything with your trainer.

Speaker 13 Yeah, honestly, yeah. I turned down all interviews basically at the course this week.
I knew I was coming on here. This is the only one that matters.
And, yeah.

Speaker 7 I love it. We're your mental coaches.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just go out there and fucking kill it. Yeah, just fucking crush it.

Speaker 13 Honestly, I just need to call you guys before every round.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Be my hype guys.
Yeah. We'll do it.
Just be like, Brooks, dude, you're sick at golf. Just go be sick at golf.
You're Brooks.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Get Dave to call me, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 if you win this weekend, he's going to be in a world of hurt because he was already in a world of hurt after the PGA.

Speaker 1 He went radio silent the last round. So if that happens again this weekend, I don't know what he's going to do.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it could be interesting. It'd be great.

Speaker 1 Do you listen? This is a real question. Do you, like, there's, you're now getting like talked about legacy and shit like that.
Do you care about it?

Speaker 1 I mean, you care about it a little bit, I would assume, but it's kind of cool to be like, once you get five, the list is getting smaller and smaller as you climb up there.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 13 I don't think you think about it right now. You don't think about it in the moment.
I think it'd be cool to reflect on it when I'm done playing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 When I'm done, I'm like, damn, that was that was a sick run.

Speaker 13 That was sweet. Got five of these things, you know, working our way to six this week.

Speaker 13 Yeah, just I think looking back would be the coolest thing. But like when you're in the moment and you're doing it, it just you just keep keep plugging along.

Speaker 7 You know, it'll be awesome if you got 10.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Double digits, man. That's where I honestly, that's what I want.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Because I think, what, only three guys have ever had double digits? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Could be wrong.

Speaker 7 You got to get him in now, though, before Charlie Woods gets up there.

Speaker 1 He's next up.

Speaker 1 You ever played for Charlie? We might have asked you that.

Speaker 1 We'll say this right now because we consider you a friend. You and Max are our guys.
We root for you guys over everyone else. Once Charlie Woods comes on, we're probably going to lose your number.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, yeah, I get that.

Speaker 13 By the time he comes, I don't know. What is he right now?

Speaker 1 He's 14. We're grooming him.
He's 14.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll definitely talk about the end. My live contract to be Don.

Speaker 1 All right, I have one last thing. Roback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code take for 20% off your first purchase.
Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts, everything. Rollback.com.

Speaker 1 By the way, it is now 6-1 nights.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you still have the game on, Brooks. That's tough.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 we can't think about that.

Speaker 1 What I do want to ask you, though, is if you do win this weekend,

Speaker 1 not to get ahead of ourselves, but it would be kind of cool if you did like the MJ where he did the six when he won the sixth. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, if you just, if you flash the five and the one over and over to let everyone know, just something to think about.

Speaker 13 I'll be doing that all the way to Vegas.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 13 I'll be doing that all the way to Vegas, and then you guys got to come.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Don't tempt us.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We have a really busy week next week.

Speaker 7 I don't think we have anything on Monday.

Speaker 7 Are you going straight to Vegas if you went Sunday night?

Speaker 1 Absolutely, yes.

Speaker 7 We might have to meet you there.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think that's

Speaker 13 epic, right? You've got to go. I did that after the first one, and I feel like after six, it's like

Speaker 7 for sure.

Speaker 7 Do you have one that, you know, that's your favorite major?

Speaker 1 Probably the last one. I mean, that was pretty sick.
No, no, wait.

Speaker 13 Including the party, but like this one could top it all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you, you, wait, ask that a question

Speaker 1 again. You know how you have to answer.

Speaker 7 Brooks, do you have a favorite major that you've won?

Speaker 13 Yes, the next one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, perfect.

Speaker 7 Okay, you're ready. He's ready.

Speaker 1 He's ready. He's ready.
He's ready. All right.
Well, Brooks, hopefully we talk to you Sunday night.

Speaker 13 Wait, is it really? Would you say it was 6'1?

Speaker 1 6'1. 6'1.
It's 6'1 nights.

Speaker 13 All right. Well, at least it's over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Exactly.
Exactly. All right.
Thanks, Brooks. Best of luck, man.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, guys.
All right. See you in Vegas.
See ya.

Speaker 12 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 12 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 12 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up, guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 Henry, world-renowned

Speaker 7 female expert.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like you

Speaker 1 feel like you're a mission?

Speaker 2 That's you, Billy. That's foreshadowing.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's the Casanova.

Speaker 7 Do you feel like you know,

Speaker 7 like you understand women more now that you're in your 30s?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 Do you think that I would say less? Are you a daddy now?

Speaker 7 Our girl's like, man, Hank is so mature.

Speaker 1 He's a zaddy. What's a zaddy?

Speaker 7 A sigma daddy?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I've seen zaddy thrown around. I'm hearing Hank's a daddy.

Speaker 1 A sexually attractive man, especially an older one who's fashionable or charismatic. Yeah, Hank's a daddy.
Fuck yeah. Hank's a zaddy.
Fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 I have a very important and concerning situation. My boyfriend of three years and I are moving in together for the first time.

Speaker 2 How can I properly prepare myself for life in a 900-square-foot apartment with a man? Give me any and all weird tics or things he may do. Thanks.
And P.S.

Speaker 2 I always remind him that he's the second love of my life next to PFT.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 2 Zaddy. Who's the real Zaddy?

Speaker 7 What's up? That's what they call me. Well, first of all, every guy has a mat next to their bed that they jerk off onto.
And that's where they come. You remember that guys on chicks?

Speaker 7 That was an all-time weird one.

Speaker 7 I would lay down bathroom ground rules the second you move in.

Speaker 7 There needs to be some communication about cleanliness of the toilet, seat up, seat down, door open, door close policy when it comes to pooping.

Speaker 7 And really, you're just going to have to come to terms with the fact that at some point you're going to be in the shower or he's going to be in the shower, and the other person is going to have to take a massive dump, and you need to figure out what you're going to do about that ahead of time.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're never going to get the remote again. Stop fighting for that.
Don't fight because that's like, listen, it's your apartment.

Speaker 1 You're going to be the one who, like, even in the bathroom setup, you're going to get 90% of the bathroom. He's going to get 10%, but he also gets the remote.
So just remember that.

Speaker 7 I hope you have a pedestal sink. That's going to be important too.
Yeah. Giles have all sorts of weird shit that they put up there.

Speaker 1 Also, guys like stickers, so maybe do like a chart, like all the chores he does. Give him a sticker.

Speaker 10 End of the week, he gets like a prize.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Something like that.

Speaker 2 I'm with PFD. The one bathroom thing is, is

Speaker 2 that's the real, that's the real challenge.

Speaker 7 Yeah. And I should say, I hope you don't have a pedestal sink.

Speaker 7 I hope you have the one that's got a lot of counter space on it so you can put all your weird-smelling lotions and stuff.

Speaker 7 He's probably going to have like three things that he keeps in the bathroom: your deodorant, your toothbrush,

Speaker 7 and maybe a razor. Yeah, and besides that, the rest is yours.

Speaker 1 I'm actually, so in my new house, I haven't moved into in Chicago yet,

Speaker 7 his and her bathrooms, and

Speaker 1 it's two bathrooms. Yeah, there's two bathrooms.

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 and it's dawned on me that I now have to clean my own bathroom and like it's gonna be a war zone in there I might put up like a Pink Floyd poster though yeah make it nancy like have it be my area put carpeting down imagine if I put a pink floyd poster and like remember those two chicks kissing that everyone had yeah just fucking this is the guy zone get a TV

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 7 it's a fucking guy zone you should get don't come in here you should get a TV in front of the toilet and then hook it up to like a Super Nintendo. Yeah.
So you can play video games while you poop.

Speaker 1 It's my fucking area.

Speaker 11 Make it like an emergency man cave. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That you can retreat to. This won't be a bathroom at all.
Like a safety room. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just make it one seat. What do you mean? Like, somehow don't even have an option to put the seat up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I like that.
Yeah. Urnal.
Urnal. Oh, yeah.
There's going to be piss all over that seat. And I'm going to sit in my piss and I don't care.

Speaker 2 Hey, Lottery 30s, Hank, Father of three cat, PF Teeny Weenie and Biker Gang Max.

Speaker 1 He just got called the baby digs. Venus is completely average.

Speaker 2 PF Teeny Weenie, that's a new one. My fiancé and I have been together four years.
He's so sweet, smart, and I'm so excited to get married. There's just one problem.

Speaker 1 Stick out now.

Speaker 1 We won't.

Speaker 2 We don't want to have sex at the same time of day. Oh.
I like to have sex at night before bed, but he likes to do it in the morning or during the day.

Speaker 2 When I try at night, he says he's too tired and just a sack. When I asked him why he prefers to have sex during the day, he said it's because he's more focused.
Is he insane?

Speaker 2 Is this going to be a problem forever? Should I cancel our wedding?

Speaker 1 I feel like it's probably that.

Speaker 10 He's addicted to jerking off.

Speaker 1 Well, I was going to say, he probably expects to have sex in the morning and afternoon. And by like five o'clock, it's kind of like

Speaker 1 Stella won't eat her dinner every night until like everyone else is eating because she's like, maybe I'll get some scraps.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's thinking, like, oh, I'm going to have sex in the middle of the day. And then by like five o'clock, he's jerking off.
He's like, not going to happen today.

Speaker 1 And then when you ask him at eight o'clock, he's like, already jerked off.

Speaker 7 Either that or what we're forgetting here is that sports are on at night. And so he might just

Speaker 7 sometimes you got to watch sports. What are you going to say, Max?

Speaker 10 He also just wakes up with a boner.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's

Speaker 1 the clear answer.

Speaker 7 He might not even have to have a woman. He already has a boner when he wakes up.

Speaker 1 So he's like, yes, that's how it is.

Speaker 7 But he might not even want to have sex. He just wakes up and it's like, I have to have sex.

Speaker 1 And here's the thing. Guys are really dumb.

Speaker 1 So you could just train him I got it training a wild horse you could start having sex start having sex every day at three o'clock then it's 315 then it's 330 you keep pushing it back he'll eventually just you know get used to it I got it you know the tick tocks where like the girlfriends wake up the boyfriends at like like 2 a.m.

Speaker 11 and pretend it's the morning do that but then have sex with him after he goes to sleep 9 p.m.

Speaker 11 yeah yeah when he goes to sleep then just like wake him up be like hey it's the morning oh i like and then be like hit him with the sex and then it's like just kidding it's 10 o'clock oh i like that or maybe you get you just get six thrusts in the morning.

Speaker 7 Like, it's compromise. Just put it in six times, and then later on, you get six more times.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have sex twice.

Speaker 2 Uh, all right. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 How old is it?

Speaker 1 I'm saying with six. I'm saying if you got six thrusts, two times a day, oh,

Speaker 1 Mr. Donald.
I'm making a joke.

Speaker 1 I'm saying if you have six thrusts,

Speaker 2 you can really make those last.

Speaker 7 You're not in your 20s anymore, Hank. That's like six seconds.

Speaker 1 Two times a day. What are you trying to break a fucking record?

Speaker 2 How do I convince my 32-year-old fiancé to stop wearing a Vietnam veteran hat in public?

Speaker 1 Silly?

Speaker 2 He got this hat on a cross-country trip to the XFL championship game, and I hate it. He's in his 30s, so no one will believe he's a Vietnam vet.

Speaker 2 This guy is thinking it's still weird and borderline disrespectful.

Speaker 7 My boyfriend,

Speaker 7 to summarize, my boyfriend bought a Vietnam veteran hat on a road trip that he took to the XFL championship game. I fucking love this guy.

Speaker 2 He claims he refers to the vacation we took there last year when he proposed that, and that anyone that gets angry is dumb.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he is.

Speaker 7 He's he's a veteran of Vietnam. He's been there.

Speaker 1 Wait, he proposed in Vietnam? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That counts. That's wild.
His life ended in Vietnam. Yes.

Speaker 1 Put him on the wall.

Speaker 11 Actually, wearing a World War I veteran's hat because none of them are alive. That's cool now?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 7 Well, Billy, you are kind of a World War I veteran. I've seen the picture of the last human to die in World War I.
Yeah, I'm a vampire. And it is Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 this guy rocks. You got to keep her.
So just thank you're lucky stars.

Speaker 7 I like the guys that wear meme war veteran hats.

Speaker 1 Those guys are cool.

Speaker 2 All right, last two. These are good ones.

Speaker 2 My fiancé and I are getting married this August right around the corner. We need advice on what shoes he should wear for his suit.
He's wearing a light gray suit with green tie pocket square.

Speaker 2 He thinks she should wear brown shoes. I'm skeptical and think black would look nice too.
This is you. They want you to make the choice.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 7 a real question. She's right, I guess.

Speaker 1 We don't know the answer to. What color is that?

Speaker 2 No, make a choice. We wears.

Speaker 1 Do we look like suit guys?

Speaker 2 Light gray, brown, or black.

Speaker 1 Light gray, brown, brown, brown. It depends.

Speaker 7 No, but indoor or outdoor?

Speaker 1 Black. Black.
Brown. Oh.
Gray. My gray suits with black.
My blue suits with brown. And everyone says, Look at this guy.
Exactly. But you don't wear pants, Jake.

Speaker 7 True. I would say if it's outdoors, brown, if it's indoors, black.

Speaker 1 Gray suit, I'm just going to tell you what they first Google.

Speaker 1 What color shoes?

Speaker 11 just make it match the belt that's the only rule I know

Speaker 2 all right last one I recently was just ghosted by a guy who I have mutual friends with I'm going on a boat party this weekend with that friend group what is the best way to handle possibly running into him while out on the lake without an escape route

Speaker 1 you can just jump off

Speaker 7 I would say you got to just in person ghost him. You just got to get so drunk that it doesn't matter.
Wait, what's the difference between ghosting and curving?

Speaker 2 Curving, you're telling them. Ghosting, you're just disappearing.

Speaker 7 I think you got to curve him. You got to curve him on the boat.
Or just hook up with his best friend.

Speaker 1 Boom. Problem solved.

Speaker 7 Okay, that's actually what you should do. Yes.
Just make out with his best friend on the boat.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 You don't even have to like the guy. It's you're on a boat.
You're both going to want to smooch.

Speaker 2 International waters. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Doesn't count.

Speaker 1 All right. Great show.
Billy, how many friends of yours from your football team do you still keep in touch with?

Speaker 11 Good amount.

Speaker 1 Numbers. 69.

Speaker 1 I won. No,

Speaker 1 I won that.

Speaker 1 I won that. I think

Speaker 7 we started at the same time, but I finished first.

Speaker 1 I think that was PFT. Kind of like my lovely.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so PFT's got 69.

Speaker 1 17. 21.

Speaker 1 How did PFFT?

Speaker 7 He's not even mad.

Speaker 1 He's not even mad. Well, you heard it with Max.

Speaker 1 I should have. I volunteered.
Billy said that if someone gets 69 of them, if Billy gets 69, Billy said if someone else gets 69 when he can't pick it, he's going to break the machine.

Speaker 11 I mean, that would be great for him.

Speaker 1 Not really. Do you guys want me to act rationally? No.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll go. What did you go? Did you want me to act rationally? What occasion? What did you go with? What? 17.
All right.

Speaker 1 No, don't break the machine, please.

Speaker 7 You guys want me to act ratio?

Speaker 1 No, because we want to sell it.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 11 What? More pieces. You could sell

Speaker 1 26.

Speaker 7 I had 69, remember? Yeah. We could sell pieces of the machine.

Speaker 1 Billy, what's your number? 21? 21.

Speaker 1 I hope I win on 10. I

Speaker 11 I hope I win on 21. Then I'm actually going to make you guys pay me.

Speaker 1 Jake, remind me, I have to decide who we're going to have pick this.

Speaker 1 Nine. Nine.

Speaker 1 Nine.

Speaker 1 Nine.

Speaker 1 What was that? Remind me to pick someone to build the new

Speaker 1 this week.

Speaker 7 Love you guys.

Speaker 11 Jokic does harness racing in his horse racing. He doesn't actually get on the horses.

Speaker 1 He's in a little carriage and he gets like pulled.

Speaker 1 Was that a fact that you learned from a video? You'd like to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I think we've been discussing once or twice that shit.

Speaker 7 I'll become a big love of you.

Speaker 7 I'll become a big lover.

Speaker 7 I'll be

Speaker 7 known

Speaker 7 change

Speaker 7 it.

Speaker 7 I won't say it.

Speaker 7 But you stay in a place.

Speaker 7 Nothing about these others. Say I'll clean.

Speaker 7 It's the better to be safe inside.

Speaker 7 I feel better to be safe inside.

Speaker 7 Take

Speaker 7 me off.

Speaker 7 I

Speaker 7 gon'

Speaker 7 say

Speaker 7 I'll go just to pay my money away

Speaker 7 You all the things I've got to remember

Speaker 7 all the kids anyway

Speaker 7 gone me,

Speaker 7 hey

Speaker 7 gon me.