SCF With Ryan Whitney, Paul Rabil In Studio, Nuggets Take G1, BloodSport Movie Review and Fyre Fest

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have a twofer for the people. We have Ryan Whitney previewing the Stanley Cup final, talking a little hockey.
And then we have our good friend Paul Rabel in studio.

Speaker 1 PLL is back. We went to the negotiating table with him.
Maybe some rule changes for lacrosse coming up. Maybe a big interview that he promised us.
We're going to talk NBA Finals game one.

Speaker 1 We are going to do a review of Blood Sport, the greatest movie ever that Max didn't like.

Speaker 1 Very excited for that. I think we nailed our first movie review.
We've done them before, but that was our first official movie review.

Speaker 1 Next week, we're going to do 38 at the Garden, so go check that out. And we have Firefest of the Week.
And by the way, Blood Sport.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And I'm not loud to solve the problem.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 1 And then we take it higher

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electricity

Speaker 6 presented by Barstow

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take today is Friday June 2nd

Speaker 7 and it's Nuggets and 4 Nugs in 4.5.

Speaker 1 The Denver Nuggets, it was closer than it looked final score-wise, 104.93, but they had control of this game from the first tip.

Speaker 7 I think we kind of expected it, though.

Speaker 1 The Heat, obviously coming off a seven-game series, going straight from Boston to high altitude. Probably not the best setup for a team to face a team that's been resting for like a week and a half.

Speaker 1 But that was bad news for the Heat.

Speaker 7 So it's interesting you brought up the altitude, Big Cat, because the Heat stunk at shooting tonight. They had a bad performance, Max Struss, 0 for 9.

Speaker 1 0 for 9 from 3. He threw 0 for 10, and Caleb Martin was also 1 for 7.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Duncan Robinson 1 for 6. Basically, everyone who was good against the Celtics turned into a pumpkin against the Nuggets.

Speaker 7 So I went deep. I went knuckles deep in some research studies,

Speaker 7 Billy football style. I dug deep into some actual journalistic papers here.
Okay. There's a report or a study that was done by Harvard University.
You ever heard of it?

Speaker 7 They compared how visiting players shoot free throws from and away at Denver. And outside the Pepsi Center, they shoot 76%.

Speaker 7 At high elevation, they shoot 74.5%, which is a big difference in free throw percentage. Now you look at a three-point shot.

Speaker 7 I have to imagine that if you're the heat coming from sea level, ball flies a little bit further. Max Truce missed a lot of shots off the back iron.
I give the MVP so far to air.

Speaker 1 Yeah, to air. Not just a movie.
It's funny you bring up free throws because the Heat actually were 100% from the free throw lines. Two for two.
Yeah. Two for two.

Speaker 1 The lowest amount of free throws attempted in an NBA Finals game. It was just bad news for the Heat.

Speaker 1 I still think the Heat are going to be heard from in this series.

Speaker 1 I don't actually think Nug's in four, but the fact that Jokic had a triple double and it was the most casual triple double, there was a moment, I think, like maybe start of the fourth, where he had like five or six field goal attempts.

Speaker 1 He finished eight for 12. He didn't even have to shoot, and the Nuggets were able to dominate that game.
And Jamal Murray continues his stretch of being like the best.

Speaker 1 Is he the best robin going right now?

Speaker 7 He's definitely, if he was on a team with anybody except for Jokic, everybody would talk about him being the finals MVP. Yeah.
Because he's awesome. What do you have? He had six rebounds.

Speaker 7 I know he had 10 assists. Yeah, that sucks.
That was bad. I bet on him not to get a triple double or double double double.
It's whatever.

Speaker 7 But I do also have a bet on him to win finals MVP, just in case he goes off a couple games at plus 1,000. But he is the best Robin.
He's the best.

Speaker 7 I would say that they have the best 1-2-3 in the NBA right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the four out of five starters in the double digits. It's like this is what the Nuggets have been all playoffs, especially at home, yet to lose a game at home in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 And it's not just Jokic, just everyone else is chipping in. It's what we've seen, like when we talked to Mike Malone last week or this week, sorry, my weeks are all fucked up.

Speaker 1 Isn't that crazy? Just a side tangent. You get one day off and you just lose concept of time.
Yeah. Memorial Day fucks me up every year.

Speaker 7 I was preparing for Hot Seat Cool Throne today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just like it happens and I just, I don't know what day it is for the entire week. Yeah.

Speaker 7 One three-day weekend screws us up. That's why Hank is always gone from there.

Speaker 1 He's always yawning. Yeah.
Oh, wait. Hank, what do you think about that?

Speaker 1 That was a pretty good Hank impression.

Speaker 7 That was Max. Yeah, Max.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, but the... Thanks for being Nuggets, the crazy thing about the Nuggets is like, Jokic has always been this good, or at least for the last four or five years.

Speaker 1 It's the fact that everyone around him has been either injured or not great. And now everyone around him is healthy and great.
And so Jokic is still doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 Like, he's been this dominant and this great

Speaker 1 for an extended period of time, but now he has a full team around him, and they're seemingly unstoppable.

Speaker 7 I would say that watching a big man that can pass like Jokic is maybe my favorite thing in all of sports to watch. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'm thinking through every single league, a quarterback with just a cannon arm, that's fun to watch.

Speaker 7 A great kick returner like Dante Hall, Devin Hester. Yep.
Those guys are. But I actually think that watching a big man that is just throwing no-look passes over his head from the post, down low,

Speaker 7 I think that's my favorite thing in all of sports to see.

Speaker 1 We might have to do a, maybe put this on the Mount Rushmore list. I mean,

Speaker 1 a lefty home run.

Speaker 7 Lefty home run is good.

Speaker 1 A lefty home run is sweet.

Speaker 7 Do you like, yeah, like Mo Von?

Speaker 1 Schwarber. I mean, just Schwarber home runs just are the best.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but I mean

Speaker 7 a big chunky dude that has sick no-look passes. That's got to be number one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's very high up there.

Speaker 7 So we were watching the game.

Speaker 1 An outfielder with a cannon for an arm. Yeah.
That's like a guy who can throw from right field to third with no bounce. That's pretty fucking sick.

Speaker 7 Vladimir Guerrero

Speaker 1 for a couple years. I'll just watch those and just be like, holy fuck.

Speaker 7 Those are fun to watch. We were talking to Ibo, works here at Barstall, and he was telling me that Jokic was an awesome water polo player.
Believe it.

Speaker 7 And it makes a ton of sense when you watch his passing. Like, he passes like a water polo guy.
And given his love of horses, he's probably the best two-polo sport player in the world. I'd agree.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And basketball player.
And

Speaker 1 the best basketball player in the world.

Speaker 1 It does feel, and again, this is obviously just after game one, so we will overreact a little bit, but it feels like this is the crowning of Jokic as the best player in the entire world.

Speaker 7 In the universe, universe, universe.

Speaker 1 He's the universally the best basketball player.

Speaker 7 He's the universal MVP. Yeah.
Not just limited to the United States.

Speaker 1 Now, I did have a question for Hank.

Speaker 1 I'll field it for him. Well, no, we have Celtics fan Hank sitting right there.

Speaker 1 He did have a tweet that said that he was depressed about how the series against the Heat ended and that he was convinced that the Celtics would have beaten the Nuggets in five.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, it is all about matchups in the NBA.

Speaker 8 The Celtics are probably the best team in the NBA if you really look at it position by position, player by player.

Speaker 8 You know, we ran into a heat team that was getting frisky at the right time, but we're still a better team. We're a better team than Nuggets.

Speaker 7 You're a better team than everyone. If that was a nine-game series, you guys won that.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 You go on paper, you're the champs. You win it in eight.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's spot the lie. Factor fiction.
Fact. Factor fiction.
Fact.

Speaker 1 Better team than everyone. Denver's all.

Speaker 7 Denver's just straight up bigger.

Speaker 1 They're just bigger people.

Speaker 1 I mean, Aaron Gordon, like his defense and what he adds to that team is crazy because they do have, and Michael Porter Jr.'s tall, like they have just big guys.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's funny watching the Heat try to match up against the big guys because

Speaker 7 they have Bam, who's a big guy Asterix. He's a big guy adjacent.

Speaker 7 He's got long arms, but he's not super tall. He's not a true center.
Then they've got Cody Zeller, who looks like he's a flea trying to ride a buffalo when he's trying to defend defend Nicola Jokic.

Speaker 7 And then after that, they don't really have anybody else.

Speaker 1 And the problem that he'd have in this series,

Speaker 1 who knows? Maybe they'll start. Heat culture will rise back up.
I do think that tonight, like, there was very little chance that he could pull off a win tonight.

Speaker 1 Sunday night will be very, like, they'll throw as much as they have at the Nuggets, some adjustments.

Speaker 1 But the Heat zone defense, which was great against the Celtics, Jokic was built in a lab to beat his own.

Speaker 1 Like, you have a big man who can stand at at the foul line and can pass everywhere and can also shoot and drift. Like, he can do everything.

Speaker 1 You can't, there's like, if the zone collapses on him, he will always find the open player.

Speaker 1 So, it's going to be interesting to see what Smo comes up with. I do, do you think that he.

Speaker 1 We never made predictions, but I was thinking Nuggets and six.

Speaker 7 Nugs and five. Five.
Nuggets and five.

Speaker 1 Five might feel. Because when I was thinking six, the problem with six is that would be the Nuggets winning in Miami, where I feel like the Nuggets.
Yeah, five feels right.

Speaker 7 I think that they'll get one Jimmy Butler game. He'll go off for like $45.50.

Speaker 1 Game three. The Nuggets win game four, then they close out in game five.

Speaker 7 Then they close out at home.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this won't aged poorly. This won't be a huge game.
Heat culture's dead.

Speaker 7 We can say heat culture is dead.

Speaker 1 Heat culture's officially dead. Yeah,

Speaker 1 this will be replayed. I hope we make the Miami Heat

Speaker 1 hype tape. Now,

Speaker 1 when they win this series in six.

Speaker 7 We're also going to have a completely opposite take on failure when the Heat lose the finals. This is a great season for the

Speaker 7 they won the championship.

Speaker 1 Well, I said it during the stream, but there is a small part of me, you know, if you're a sports fan and you have to, you're always having to like slip and slide through different arguments and try to figure out what your angles are.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't hate it if Spo like ripped off like five or six titles in the next 10 years because I absolutely would say that he's the greatest NBA coach of all time and that's why LeBron won those titles.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I am, there is definitely a part of me that's a big Spo fan being like, go, Spo, go, win a bunch of titles without LeBron, and then I will say that you're the GOAT.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, Phil Jackson, he had Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Anybody can win a title with Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 Who did Spo have? All Spo needs to do is win like, what, like, eight more? What did Phil end up with? He ended up with 11? Yeah, that's just a ridiculous amount of rings to have. 11.

Speaker 7 We should put more respect on Phil Jackson's name.

Speaker 1 Spo needs to win nine more. If he can win nine more titles, then we can just say he's the greatest, and that's why LeBron won.

Speaker 7 No, but you can also play this game with Spo, where if the Heat keep getting to the finals with undrafted guys, and even if they don't win, you can just be like, this is a bigger accomplishment making it this far through the Eastern Conference playoffs than it was winning six titles with Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippen on your team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Yeah, I mean, this is the, let's just say it right now, the best coaching job we've ever seen.
Of all time.

Speaker 1 This playoff run, win the title or not, best coaching job we've ever seen.

Speaker 7 Incredible job.

Speaker 1 Did you see a stat, by the way, that we missed that we have to call out?

Speaker 1 Pat Riley has been part of 25% of all NBA finals.

Speaker 1 That's insane. That's not serious.
That's insane.

Speaker 7 I love the shot whenever they show him in the crowd and it's him with Alonzo Morning. Yeah.
And they're just sitting there looking like gangsters ready to take some people out on the court.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Pat Riley is a very underrated basketball guy because he's been behind the scenes for so long that he doesn't really give that many press conferences anymore.

Speaker 7 We don't get to see him in action on the sidelines.

Speaker 7 Everybody thought, actually, for a while, that he was calling the shots, that he was essentially coaching the team when Spo took over and Spo was his figurehead, his puppet.

Speaker 7 But no, Pat Riley turns out just is he called the shots.

Speaker 1 He is. Dude, so 19 NBA finals for him.
Three as a player, 10 as a coach, six as an executive. That's 25% of NBA Finals in League history.
That's insane.

Speaker 1 He, yeah, and it also is, not to bring up a bad thing for the Knicks fans, it's a great what if because Pat Riley obviously leaves New York.

Speaker 1 Like, what if he had just become, you know, he went upstairs in New York? Obviously, James Dolan is the biggest issue there, but, like, he is the culture. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he went to Heat and made that culture.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they're going to get one at least.

Speaker 1 I'm still confident

Speaker 1 nugs and five. Oh, no.
Oh, are they talking about supposedly going to get 10 more?

Speaker 7 10 more titles?

Speaker 1 10 more titles. Yeah.
Greatest coach of all time. Not Not even close.

Speaker 7 I like squatting on that take just to protect.

Speaker 7 This comes purely out of defending Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 I mean, exactly. And LeBron James, like, if you hit him with True Serum, he'd be like, I barely knew how to play basketball before I met Spo.
That's, I think we can all agree on that.

Speaker 7 What did he win in college?

Speaker 7 Think about it this way: Michael Jordan in college got shut down by Dan Dokich.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 Then in the NBA, rattles off six. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also won a title in college, though.

Speaker 7 I'm overlooking that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. One other thing before we get to our interviews.

Speaker 1 Adam Silver just teasing us all with John Morant. Wild, wild

Speaker 1 tease where he said

Speaker 1 they released a statement saying we've uncovered a fair amount of additional information.

Speaker 1 We probably could have brought it to a head by now, but we've made the decision that it would be unfair to these players and these teams to announce that decision in the middle of this series.

Speaker 1 So he's announcing that there is a decision, but it won't be be announced yet.

Speaker 7 A fair amount of information. How many

Speaker 1 more hands.

Speaker 7 There's more Instagram stories and guns. Yes.

Speaker 1 He's got. He's.

Speaker 1 I would actually imagine that he probably got put onto just a hype tape of John Morant with guns.

Speaker 7 Well, so would it be worse if it was multiple guns? I think it'd be way worse if it was multiple games. If he just had one gun that he really loved that he couldn't give up.
It's like his binky.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you get that. It's an emotional support gun.
Exactly. Like, that's totally understandable.
If you have a different gun, like, people have different hats that they take out.

Speaker 7 They like look at themselves in the mirror. No, I'm going to take the.45 today.
Yeah. Today feels more like a 50-cal.

Speaker 1 But this is like, so he's not, we don't want to take away from the NBA Finals, but we're going to announce that something severe is going to happen after the NBA Finals.

Speaker 1 So please, just don't talk about it during the NBA Finals, even though it's very vague right now and leaves it open to interpretation where everyone can talk about it for the next two weeks.

Speaker 7 I know what this is. This is the NBA promoting Oppenheimer.
John Morant is going to be an Oppenheimer building an atomic bomb. He's in the movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That'd be great if John Morant was in the background with his gun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, with the bomb. Yeah.

Speaker 7 He's on the plane. He's going live on the Enola Gay.

Speaker 1 And he wasn't actually cast in the movie. He just happened to be where they were filming.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he's like, I brought my bomb.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, I heard you guys had a bomb movie.

Speaker 1 Let me go to my car real quick.

Speaker 7 I do think the NBA Finals is very similar to Oppenheimer. We both know how it's going to end.
Yes. The history has already been written.
Yes, that is true. The Nuggets will win.
The Nuggets.

Speaker 7 I will retire from this podcast.

Speaker 1 No, don't do that.

Speaker 1 At some point, at some point.

Speaker 1 At some point. Okay.
That was scary. My life flashed before my eyes.

Speaker 1 I will retire. How quick do you think Billy would be like, oh, actually, I can move to Chicago? He's already got this clue.

Speaker 1 Weird.

Speaker 1 I now am ready to go. Bags are packed.
I'll tell you what.

Speaker 7 I will not retire no matter what you guys say, but

Speaker 1 I will

Speaker 7 give up all my integrity.

Speaker 1 I will relinquish

Speaker 7 my integrity as a sports journalist.

Speaker 1 That's fair.

Speaker 7 As a dean of the Medeal School of Journalism, I will give that all up.

Speaker 7 You won't know ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I won't know ball.

Speaker 7 Officially, ball not knower if the Nuggets don't win. Okay.

Speaker 1 That will not. Hold me to it.
Accountability. Oh, I will.

Speaker 7 Anytime you say anything, I'm just like, but you don't know ball.

Speaker 1 I'll get a ball removed. Oh, okay.
I'll get a ball removed cosmetically. Yeah.
Yeah. If the Nuggets.
You'll get a testicle removed. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a really dumb bet.

Speaker 7 It's not a bet. It's just a fact.

Speaker 1 And that's yourself and I'll say it with yourself.

Speaker 7 I shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1 No, definitely not.

Speaker 7 You get carried away sometimes on this show.

Speaker 7 There's something about what happened. You sit down in the studio and you say stuff and then you instantly regret it and then Big Cat tells you, wait, be careful, don't say that.

Speaker 7 And then you're like, okay, good point, Big Cat. And then you catch your breath and you say something dumber.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it makes the tattoo bet kind of pale in comparison now.

Speaker 1 That tattoo bet

Speaker 7 a tattoo of just one ball.

Speaker 1 No, you know what you should do? All right, let's clean this up. You're not going to get a testicle removed.

Speaker 1 If the heat do win this series, you have to get a tattoo of a basketball and then get it removed. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's get a ball removed. Okay, that's fair.
Yep, that's totally fair.

Speaker 1 It's the pain of just getting a tattoo for like one week and then immediately getting it.

Speaker 7 I got to let it set in for a while.

Speaker 1 Show it off. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 If I get the ball in my bicep, I got to get the prayer hands underneath it too.

Speaker 7 It's a winning combo.

Speaker 1 We should actually get all of the balls and puck on our, like, somewhere on our body, and then when you fuck up with a take, you can get it remote.

Speaker 1 We're taking it remote.

Speaker 7 That's a great idea.

Speaker 1 Where we're just everyone who's on part of my take has to have the same tattoo, just a soccer ball.

Speaker 7 And we see who the smartest is.

Speaker 1 Basketball, football, baseball. We'll throw in tennis.
Fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'll have that removed like in two seconds. Actually, no, I know the most about tennis.

Speaker 1 Jokovich is the goat, and I've been right all along.

Speaker 7 Yeah, there's so many balls out there you could get. Yeah.
Rugby ball.

Speaker 1 Billiards.

Speaker 7 Ooh, you'd have to get all of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'd have to, you'd have to collect all the balls.

Speaker 1 All the billiards ball. Bocci.
Bowling ball. Bowling ball, yeah.
I think you have to earn the balls and then

Speaker 1 you're right to replace. Oh, like yeah, the buck guy stickers.
Yeah, or like in general. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 I'm a five-ball.

Speaker 1 I'm in.

Speaker 1 I'm in. Fuck it.

Speaker 1 Just in like the cutest little tattoo on your ankle. We do it ankle, ankle tattoos.

Speaker 1 Like, what sorority are you in? I got tramps. The balls.

Speaker 1 All balls.

Speaker 1 All right. I might just get one of my balls tattooed to look like a basketball.

Speaker 1 That would be cool. Yeah, it'd be awesome.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's get to our interviews.
We've got two great ones. We got Ryan Whitney and Paul Rabel.

Speaker 9 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
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Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 10 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on. I think we actually found this out, Wit.
You are our most recurring guest in

Speaker 1 history. I think so.
I think you are officially... Wow.
We have to do the analytics, but you were like second or third four years ago. And you come on like three or four times a year.

Speaker 1 So you have to have like gone past everyone else.

Speaker 11 So you're just going on two or three years ago. I mean, I don't know.
That's not, that doesn't sound very analytics to me. It sounds like you're just guessing, but I'll take it.

Speaker 1 I think you're number one.

Speaker 7 You might be. Ever since Titus came on the show and said all those nasty things, and we had to stop inviting him on,

Speaker 11 you just gave him his own show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we gave him his own show, so we didn't have to have him on anymore. Um, all right, so it is Ryan Whitney, our number one recurring guest.

Speaker 1 We wanted to have him on because we have been talking a lot of basketball, a lot of basketball talk on PMT. We got to talk some hockey.
Sell us on this Stanley Cup Cup final because

Speaker 1 not us. We're puckheads.
You know that. But from the average fan outside who maybe isn't the biggest hockey fan, they're like Florida and Vegas.
Who the fuck cares?

Speaker 11 Well, I feel like those people are probably

Speaker 11 too dumb to get through to at this point.

Speaker 11 Like, if based on whoever the teams are, you're not even going to watch, I mean, it's kind of hard to get those people's attention and have them give it a legit chance.

Speaker 11 But for any hockey fan fan that's enjoying watching the highest level playing for the best trophy that's the hardest to win in sports, you know that these two teams should produce pretty entertaining games.

Speaker 11 And they're both very similar.

Speaker 11 The fact that neither one of them has a Stanley Cup, I think, is kind of exciting, especially with all the teams that we've had kind of run through the past, what seems like 10, 15 years with the Penguins, Blackhawks, Kings, et cetera, to win multiple titles.

Speaker 11 But the hockey's going to be good because they're mean,

Speaker 11 they're physical, and they're kind of proving that as much as the game's changing throughout the regular season with skill and lack of physicality and sometimes boring regular season games because of maybe not the fights and the things that the fans really did enjoy, the playoffs are still

Speaker 11 a man's game, for a lack of a better term. It's like

Speaker 11 it's two teams that basically beat the shit out of whoever they play against. They've just bullied every team they've played against.
Vegas has huge D, so it's old school hockey.

Speaker 11 It's hard to get to the net. Florida's got the best American-born player right now and Matthew Kachuck, so that should hopefully get some eyeballs.

Speaker 11 And Eichel as well is just like high-level American player. So those are the two stars for each team.

Speaker 11 So there's a bunch of great storylines for hockey fans and fringe fans, but people who are just saying, I'm not watching based on, I don't really care about these two teams, they're out of the question.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's the Stanley Cup final. Like you said, it's the best trophy in sports.

Speaker 7 For those of us who've been lucky enough to hoist the Stanley Cup, it's a time that you won't forget and something that your entire town won't forget.

Speaker 7 And if you look at the Panthers, I didn't realize this, but at the end of the season, they almost didn't even get into the playoffs.

Speaker 7 They had to have the Pittsburgh Penguins lose on the last day of the regular season for them to sneak in, which is a crazy run.

Speaker 7 So, yeah, kind of to your point of the regular season doesn't mean as much. You guys are turning into the NBA, actually.

Speaker 7 You guys are doing load management in the regular season and just get into the playoffs, and then you can flip the switch. You don't even have to watch hotels.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 11 No load management. It's the game has changed.
The men above, the men in the suits have changed the game.

Speaker 11 There's just a less physical factor, a smaller physical factor to hockey now, which is also a good thing. I mean, you're seeing

Speaker 11 smaller players become superstars. You're seeing the fastest game, the fastest the game's ever been.
So there's definitely some positive sides to it.

Speaker 11 But for people who like old school hockey, the regular season's changed. But for you to say it's the players doing the load management.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 11 They're just not the type of players to get in the league anymore, the physical ones.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I will watch every second of the Stanley Cup final because how can you not? It's the best.

Speaker 1 But you have to, listen, you are an ambassador to the game. You got to understand if you can change one mind, you've done your job.
So, like, pitching this Stanley Cup final is important.

Speaker 1 Would you say, though, Witt, These playoffs have not been the best? Because

Speaker 1 second and third round, sweeps.

Speaker 1 i know the stars made a little bit of a series of that but then got absolutely dump trucked in game six like it feels like it's out the first round was exceptional and then the last two rounds have not maybe been up to fully par for the stanley cup playoffs no doubt and and unfortunately I mean, people always say, and I agree that the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs are like the best postseason around.

Speaker 11 And the first round, like now it's the past few years, especially more than ever, have become must-watch TV, must-watch games. They're out of control.
The action, the games going seven, it's crazy.

Speaker 11 There's four games a night, it seems like.

Speaker 11 But I think guys are just going so hard. And just the first round is such a battle that they're kind of gassed out the second round.
The second round seems to be the worst round a lot.

Speaker 11 And then the conference finals, it rears back up. This year was disappointing, right? You got a sweep on one side.
You got,

Speaker 11 what is it? What was it? A gentleman.

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't a sweep. It wasn't a sweep.
We should just.

Speaker 11 Sorry, Rod Brendan Moore said.

Speaker 1 Rod Brindenmore did say it was not a sweep. It shows it's a sweep, but it wasn't a sweep.
Loser talk. But yeah,

Speaker 1 they weren't the most competitive conference finals.

Speaker 11 But I think that the cup will be awesome. I think the cup,

Speaker 11 like a lot of, Vegas is the favorite, and I kind of understand why.

Speaker 11 But if Bobrovsky's playing like this, like Sergei Bobrovsky, who I think Charles Barkley called him Sergei Bobopachukuk, something hilarious on TNT.

Speaker 11 He's a big hockey guy, though, but if he continues to play like this,

Speaker 11 I don't know if they can be beat. I don't think they can be beat.

Speaker 11 I think he's 11-2 in the playoffs with this insane save percentage and goals against, and he's in one of those zones.

Speaker 11 That's the one thing I'm worried about for the Panthers is I think if they could have chose once they swept it or once they finished the conference finals, they probably would have said, we'll play in two nights.

Speaker 11 We'll play the third night. Give us two nights off because of what they had going.
So 10 days days off, I think it's the second longest break between conference final and cup final.

Speaker 11 That could kind of maybe kill what they had going. I don't think it will, but that's a possibility.

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So, wait, you actually, you played in the Stanley Cup in 2008, right?

Speaker 7 You were on the Penguins. Did you guys win?

Speaker 11 No, we lost. Thanks.

Speaker 1 Okay, what's that like?

Speaker 7 Because you always hear about the glory afterwards, you know, drinking out of the cup, that whole thing. It's the best trophy.
As you said,

Speaker 7 when you guys lost the Stanley Cup, what was the mood like after the game in the locker room?

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 11 am I supposed to go after this and just get run over by a car or two? Like, this is just, you're killing me here. But

Speaker 11 it's very, very... emotional.
I just remember in the room, like everyone's just kind of breaking down at different moments, and you're just so close to your dream. We lost at home, too.

Speaker 11 We won a triple overtime, maybe double overtime game five we were down with a minute to go max talbott tied it up we won in overtime double overtime and then we're going back we're like all right we got you know we got this series let's go three two going home and and and detroit put on a clinic and then just to hear them celebrating and

Speaker 11 it was it was it was soul crushing i mean it was definitely the worst loss of my career and that's including the gold medal game i think just That's a quick tournament and that's heartbreaking as well.

Speaker 11 So I've been, I've been on some special losers, but you just work all year. And we ran through the Eastern Conference that year.
I think we swept Ottawa.

Speaker 11 We beat the Rangers in five and Philly in five.

Speaker 11 I think we had 14 games to get to the cup final. And then Detroit was still playing Dallas when we were done.
And they ran through them. And they had a legendary team.

Speaker 11 So, you know, they ended up getting them the next year after Jose even left Pittsburgh to go to Detroit. I was gonzo.
That's probably why they won. They got Chris Kunitz.

Speaker 11 But I do remember just being so crushed. And granted, the next night, you're hanging out with the guys and you're not over it, but still appreciate what a great run it was.

Speaker 11 But right at the immediate aftermath,

Speaker 11 it was crushing.

Speaker 1 Wait, so you had a rest versus rust, right? Like you guys were off versus rust? It wasn't that bad.

Speaker 11 We didn't, because I think they wanted six and we wanted five. So it wasn't like this.
I think it was maybe six days.

Speaker 11 But I don't think against Detroit that year,

Speaker 11 it could have been a quick break or a long break. They were just that loaded and ready to win another one.

Speaker 7 And he had a foot injury, too. So like right after the season's over, you were like, hey,

Speaker 7 maybe it's time for some time off. Just so you guys know, I had a foot injury that whole time.

Speaker 11 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11 I just want to be like an NBAer and come out and just let you guys know what I've been struggling with this entire time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, getting surgery. Now, wait, so what is it like, though, like six days off when you're on a run like that?

Speaker 11 Like, it's so fun.

Speaker 11 And, and, and um, I'm sure it's changed, but Biz always talks about the guys on LA he knows when they won their cups, they were finishing out series early, too, and we were through the East, as I mentioned, and we were ripping it up.

Speaker 11 Like, you know, we're having bangers, just unreal nights at the bar. Everyone's getting after it because you knew, you know, and then you get back in the rink the next day.

Speaker 11 Maybe you'd skate the next day. And

Speaker 11 I just remember, you know, going through that run and having the break towards the cup final. We definitely celebrated after we won the East.
And then it's just the excitement.

Speaker 11 You're on the ice every day. It's June.
It's like the whole hockey world's watching you. There's a hundred reporters at every practice leading up to it and the excitement leading in.

Speaker 11 And then I'll never forget. We started in Detroit, game one, and got out there for warm-ups.
And the place is like, I don't know, 80% full. The music's rocking.

Speaker 11 And there is the Stanley Cup final logo in the middle of the ice. And throughout the playoffs, each series and round feels important, but that was like on steroids.

Speaker 11 It was just the vibe and the energy in the building. You could feel it.
Like, this is different than those other three. I'll never forget that.

Speaker 1 And we talked about that.

Speaker 11 And we didn't score a goal in game one or game two. We got rolled.

Speaker 1 Too much rest.

Speaker 7 Yeah. We talked about

Speaker 7 the playoff speed last time you were on the show about the difference. Is there a difference even between playoff speed and Stanley Cup final speed?

Speaker 11 Yeah, I think so. Or maybe it was the fact that Detroit was that good and far and away the best team we'd faced and they were that fast with and without the puck.

Speaker 11 But yeah, it was a jump up, which kind of leads me to like the first round's nuts, like I mentioned, and then, you know, the grind of the playoffs, second round, third round, they're a little tired.

Speaker 11 This year wasn't great, but then you're always right back fired up. Like, this is now it, four games away.

Speaker 1 What's so, what's your official pick? We're a golden knights podcast, by the way.

Speaker 11 So, I picked Florida, um,

Speaker 11 which is great for Vegas because I haven't picked Florida one series.

Speaker 11 I picked every I picked Boston, I picked Toronto, I picked Carolina, but now I'm at the point of like, all right, something special is going on here, and the goaltending and like what Kachuck's doing, it's just leading me to think they'll somehow get it done.

Speaker 11 But I was open on chiclets, I'm not confident at all.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So other things we've got to clean up from the playoffs. Connor McDavid's a bum.

Speaker 11 Wrong.

Speaker 1 Did he win? Is he playing? Is he still playing?

Speaker 11 Is he on the Knights?

Speaker 11 He ran into a great Vegas Golden Knights team. He was very adamant that next season, Stanley Cup, it's a complete failure again.
I'm going to keep backing the best player I've ever seen.

Speaker 11 So I don't know what you want me to tell you. He's not a bum.
They need some more guys around them. I want him to be a bad guy.

Speaker 7 He was banged up. I think you said he was the best player in any sport in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's got

Speaker 1 zero rings. Zero Stanley Cup final rings.

Speaker 11 So who's the best player in the NBA?

Speaker 7 Nikola Jokic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's about to get his ball.

Speaker 11 I thought he didn't win MVP, did he?

Speaker 7 Only because he won so many that they got tired of giving it to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he won two the last three years.

Speaker 11 All right, so if he wins it, then

Speaker 11 you can give him the best athlete in the world. But you guys just troll my McDavid comments, and you're always going after him.

Speaker 11 And he's breaking records, and he's doing things that haven't been done in about 40 years in the NHL. He's joining the list of Gretzky Lemieux every season.
He's hopping on these lists with them.

Speaker 11 I don't know what you want me to tell you. You need 20 guys to win a Stanley Cup.

Speaker 1 You know what list he should hop on? It's the one where they engrave it on that big cup.

Speaker 11 Hey, if his career ends and he doesn't win a Stanley Cup, I will bow down to you guys as being incorrect in terms of Connor McDavid's greatness.

Speaker 11 But I'm not jumping off the fence before the guy's 28 years old or whatever he is. He's 27.

Speaker 1 Well, I bet on him. I told you I bet on them.
This is a proof of it. Prime River.

Speaker 11 You bet on everyone, you lose it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to bet on him again next year.

Speaker 7 I'm very much looking forward to Wendy actually bowing down to us. That's going to be a new year.

Speaker 1 He's 26.

Speaker 11 He's 26.

Speaker 1 Okay, so he's getting a little old.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 7 When do you hit your prime as a hockey player?

Speaker 11 I would say it's 25 to 29, those four years. So he's one year in.

Speaker 7 He's got to do it quick because then if he's in his 30s, we'll just say, well, it was other people on the team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's ring changing he was along maybe then he'll get a real team around him as he's a little older takes a little less money and then he wins about four we'll see i i i did uh i'll admit we are trolling uh watching him play hockey is incredible like i mean can you not at least say yeah no i know nuts but he still hasn't won anything like i can't give him all the credit until he's a winner but he is out of this world like it is crazy watching him play because he looks like he's playing a different sport than everyone else on ice that was yeah that's my point it's nuts And yes, you're right.

Speaker 11 You got to win a title to be considered the best of all time or one of them. But watching him like night in and night out, he's just, it looks like a different league.

Speaker 11 It looks like an alien on the ice. Like, you think the TV's on fast forward.
He's cutting back, cutting in. He's now he's like leading the league in goals this year.

Speaker 11 It's, it's, I'm, I'm not, my heart rate's going up, guys.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, throwing a Zen.
That will help it.

Speaker 11 Um, oh, I need one of those Zen 12s you got from Qatar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the nines. Yeah, Where do they get the power?

Speaker 11 The market over here, it's like people are probably jonesing for nines or 12s.

Speaker 7 Nines.

Speaker 7 If you take one of those, you just start instantly sweating.

Speaker 1 I got the great experience. I get the hiccups when I throw two of those.

Speaker 11 Do you ever get one, a package that's like, must have been mismanaged at the lab and it just cripples you?

Speaker 1 I'm like, what the hell is that?

Speaker 7 You know what I like to do, Wit? I like to play Zin roulette, where I take one of the nines and then I mix it in with a bunch of threes, and then I never know when I'm going to get the nine.

Speaker 11 I like that. I like that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it keeps you fresh a little bit. You were talking a second ago about that big Vegas D.
Talk to me about how big their D is.

Speaker 11 Oh, funny PFT. Going with the dick joke.

Speaker 1 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Speaker 7 Well, we are, we're fans of Alec Martinez.

Speaker 1 He's our guy. He's big D.

Speaker 11 Did you guys rip on him or something?

Speaker 1 And he's no, no,

Speaker 7 we did a preview of

Speaker 7 the NHL playoffs, and it was maybe 30 seconds long, and we just said stupid things about each city. Then we found out that he's a listener, and he was disappointed that we trashed Vegas.

Speaker 7 So we're trying to make it up to him.

Speaker 1 And I have ripped on him because he did score that goal against the Blackhawks in 2014, the game seven overtime goal. But now that I know that he's a listener, we are a Golden Knights podcast.

Speaker 1 We're that easy.

Speaker 11 Well, when we talk about the big D in Vegas, he's actually, I think, the smallest one. And they're all like, you know, Petra Angelo is 6'3.
We got McNabb's about 6'6. Theodore's 6'4.

Speaker 11 I think he's 6'1, like 2'10 still. And I believe he ⁇ I think he's the all-time record holder of block shots in the NHL.

Speaker 11 That could be completely incorrect.

Speaker 1 I like that. We're going to go.
No, we're going to go. Wait, we just wait.
Memes just said, fact-checked it. Yes.

Speaker 11 Correct. Oh, nice.
Okay. I got one right.
But it just, that's kind of what they're blocking shots. They're hard to play against.
So that's the big D I'm talking about.

Speaker 11 Not where your mind's headed to the gutter, PFT.

Speaker 7 I wasn't talking about that. What about the big P's? The Brooks Kepka's beloved P's.

Speaker 1 You guys, boy. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sorry for your loss. I know how much that pains you that Brooks is the best golfer in the world.

Speaker 11 I shouldn't say it pains me. Like, I'm amazed at how nasty he is at golf.
I just, I feel like

Speaker 11 you're the guys that he's like, oh, I'll be cool to them. And then he treats people that he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.

Speaker 1 They just don't know him. That's kind of my

Speaker 1 own.

Speaker 11 But I've always been told that I've never met him.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 11 So I'm a talking head dogging him when I dog him.

Speaker 11 I've never once said anything about the golf game. He's an assassin.
It's a joke out there. So So watching domination as I talk about McDavid, I enjoy it.
It seems to me, without knowing him,

Speaker 11 a little bit of a dickhead.

Speaker 1 No, but I've said nice things about him. So there's a lot of people.
Because he blows you. No.

Speaker 1 Yes. You blow him, idiot.

Speaker 1 Big difference. Happy Pride.
We haven't gotten blown by him yet.

Speaker 11 That's Big D.

Speaker 1 We're still waiting. Yeah, no, you were so.

Speaker 11 I didn't even know. I didn't know you had bet him.
Great bet.

Speaker 11 Looking back, you'll never sniff that guy again at plus 2,500.

Speaker 1 He's the one who's

Speaker 11 bad after what he did at the Masters.

Speaker 11 I do want to find out. He won't share.
I think he wouldn't. Maybe he would with you guys.

Speaker 11 You guys are all butt buddies, but he said he knew exactly what he messed up Sunday at Augusta, and it'll never happen again, but he won't share it.

Speaker 1 It's the pace. No, he was doing it.
Did you watch him

Speaker 1 in the PGA championship? He was walking extra slow so that no one ahead of him could hold him up.

Speaker 11 Because he was bitching bitching after the Masters about how slow guys were playing.

Speaker 1 And the way he plays, he plays so fast where he just gets up to the ball and hits it.

Speaker 1 So he was walking up the fairway in the PGA championship, super deliberate and super slow, so that every time he got to the ball, he was ready to go.

Speaker 11 That was what he didn't want to share with the other reporters.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, he didn't even share with us. I just figured it out because, like, we know him so well.

Speaker 11 We're like, yeah, you guys are so tight.

Speaker 11 I do, yeah, as a golf nut, it's insane. And how fast he plays is pretty sick.

Speaker 11 But nobody

Speaker 11 calls the Panthers the P's. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 He's now called them the Ps, but

Speaker 11 unless people in Florida that are doing meth, living in the side of a crack house, like call them the P's, I've never heard that in my life.

Speaker 1 Well, Jake released a shirt that is very political. It just says G-O-P-S.

Speaker 1 So the G-O-Ps.

Speaker 1 I think Jake's Jake's on this Zoom. Maybe one of the worst shirts we've ever released.

Speaker 11 Go peas.

Speaker 1 It's pretty nice.

Speaker 1 Hey, Jake, have you ever heard people call that?

Speaker 11 Before Brooks Kepka, no. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. And you'll know.

Speaker 11 People on Twitter are calling them that.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 11 It spreads. A lot of people are calling them that.

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 11 I don't. Big Cat as

Speaker 11 Kepka's best friend. Even you can admit.

Speaker 1 No, he was on one when he said peas.

Speaker 1 He was drunk.

Speaker 11 i call him the peas now no it was during a pga press conference yeah he said i'm gonna go watch the peasant get his mind right he said i'm gonna go home and watch the peas no he said it drunk before he was said it before that was the second time he called oh yeah yeah he said it during the tournament yeah no he was drunk then too i'm calling him the peas that's called

Speaker 1 the peas being ice cold just get buckled yeah i mean he came on our show drinking out of the wanamaker on the show it was awesome but yeah the peas no one says the peas you know what i do like their rat tradition tradition, though, where they throw the rats onto the ice.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I looked it up. Ariana Grande getting hit by a puck tradition.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I like that. That's another story.

Speaker 1 Can you know the story of how the rats began?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I was going to say it, but you can probably tell it better than I can.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I mean, if you looked it up,

Speaker 11 I think I have it right, but in 96, when they ended up going to their first stand in the cup final, they got swept by the Avs.

Speaker 11 But I think that year, there was rats like in their old building or wherever they were. And one of the guys on the team actually killed one with a stick.
And like the story grew.

Speaker 11 So all of a sudden on this playoff run, every goal, they're chucking rats on the ice. They had to basically get rid of the tradition.
I still think you can't do it after a goal scored.

Speaker 11 Maybe they've changed it for the maybe they'll change it for the finals.

Speaker 11 There's a legendary picture, though, of Patrick Wall getting scored on him in the finals for Colorado, and he just like ducks back into the net as thousands of rats are falling out.

Speaker 7 Yes, no, it's great. So, yeah, that's pretty much the story.
It was Scott Mellonby, so it was in the locker room, and Mellonby grabbed a stick and hit it with a slap shot against the wall.

Speaker 7 And then later on that night, he scored two goals.

Speaker 1 So Van Biesberg called it a rat trick.

Speaker 7 And then the next night, they started throwing rats on the ice. It is a cool tradition.
I like that weird shit in NHL, like when they do it in Detroit with the octopi, the octopuses.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's the best.

Speaker 1 All right, I have one last question for you, Win.

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Speaker 1 My last question for you is: how long do you think it will take for Conor Bedard to be better than Connor McDavid?

Speaker 1 A year?

Speaker 11 I don't think he can be. I'm going to say it.

Speaker 1 Well, that's... What if he wins a cup?

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 11 I could throw out names of guys who've

Speaker 11 won a cup. That doesn't necessarily mean you're a better player, but.

Speaker 1 We're a ring podcast. Okay.

Speaker 11 Okay. Well, I don't know what.
Okay, so

Speaker 11 I still don't think it can happen because looking at how bad the Blackhawks are. They look horrible.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 what if Connor Berdard's that good?

Speaker 11 I think he's going to be incredible, and I think he'll be a future superstar, but I think McDavid's like once every 20 years type guy. I mean, I don't see.

Speaker 11 If Bedard is better than McDavid, then it's only good for Sherguts because Hockey's going to continue to grow, but I don't see it happening.

Speaker 7 Then McDavid should have to change his first name if he's

Speaker 1 better than that.

Speaker 11 Maybe one of them drops an N and just has one N in Connor.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Witt, you have to acknowledge that saying that it's not possible to be better than Connor McDavid is that's wishful thinking on your part.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it is possible. Wembinyama is going to be the best player of all time.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I just think for what was discussed in terms of McDavid, I mean, they've both been talked about since they were like 13 years old in terms of like future upcoming

Speaker 11 prodigies in the game. But I just think McDavid is that good.
I think this kid could be incredible, like maybe right beneath him. I'm just sorry, boys.

Speaker 1 I I don't agree with you. What do you think? I'm going to take right beneath him.
I'll take right beneath him. That's fine.

Speaker 7 You are saying that it's impossible to be better at hockey than Connor McDavid.

Speaker 11 No, I'm not saying it's impossible. You asked me if he would be better, and I said I don't think so.
Okay. I'm not saying someday there won't be somebody better than him, but I don't

Speaker 11 be Connor Bedard.

Speaker 1 I mean, if Kachuck wins a ring or if Alec Martinez wins another ring, he's better than Connor McDavid.

Speaker 11 Yeah, Zach Whitecloud. If the Vegas Golden Knights win it, he's better than McDavid.

Speaker 1 I'm with you.

Speaker 7 I have one last question for you. You guys, I don't know your schedule for Chicklets.
Are you guys going back and forth from Miami to Vegas?

Speaker 11 So, Biz is at every game because TNT has the broadcast for the first time. They got the finals, which will be great.

Speaker 11 Their crew does an unreal job. So, he'll be back and forth to every game.
I think we'll be at game four in Florida and

Speaker 11 game three in Florida, I believe. I won't be down there for three and then game five in Vegas.

Speaker 7 Okay, because I was going to say,

Speaker 7 if it's you, Biz, and RA. Pray for my liver.

Speaker 7 Going back and forth between Vegas and Miami. That's like the Spit and Chiclets Iron Man triathlon for you guys.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I mean, if we see R.A. after that one, it's a miracle.

Speaker 7 Who gets eliminated first? The Panthers, the Golden Knights, or R.A.?

Speaker 7 That's the question.

Speaker 1 R.A., for sure. That's good question.

Speaker 11 He ain't making it four games.

Speaker 1 No, definitely not. All right, well, wait, you are the best.
Thank you so much for fitting us in, and we'll talk again soon.

Speaker 11 All right, appreciate it. Great coming on, reoccurring guests.

Speaker 6 Whether I'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate, Boarshead is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself. Their platters are a hit every time.

Speaker 6 They've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more. And if you want to take it up a notch, grab a few dips.

Speaker 6 My personal favorite, the blazing buffalo chicken, hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

Speaker 6 Boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 6 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 11 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend.

Speaker 1 Maybe like five or six time recurring guest. It is Paul Rabel.
It is time for PLL season five. That's right.
Which is crazy. We're in season five.

Speaker 7 Hey, Paul, can you remind me real quick? Because I got a bad memory. Who won the last championship? Right.

Speaker 6 That's where you want to start.

Speaker 7 Well, I mean, we... I know, I just forgot.

Speaker 1 The last I talked to you, you were like, hey, what are your ring sizes? Right. So PFT, oh, nope.
Looks like we don't have rings yet.

Speaker 6 Well, we were debating this because the rings are made. But

Speaker 1 these are my favorite camps where it's like the owners

Speaker 6 before the players. Giving to the owners before the players would have caused a little bit of disposition.

Speaker 1 Well, we paid for them as owners.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but you know, what type of precedent does that set? Owners are usually last to get it.

Speaker 7 Do you watch sports? Because

Speaker 7 usually what happens is they present the trophy to the owner right after the Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 We need to get players in here. Or get you guys to, I think week three and Fairfield are where we're giving the rings out.

Speaker 1 Okay. We're also unprecedented owners because, and the team is unprecedented.
It's the worst team of all time to win a championship.

Speaker 6 I have a photo of the rings, early photo.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me see. Is there a dog on it? Yeah, of course.
Max won't want that one.

Speaker 6 All right, there you go.

Speaker 1 Ooh, those are icy. I like that.
Yeah, I like them. I like them.

Speaker 6 They got shades of purple. That's nice.
Obviously, you guys will have your name on them. I don't think we discuss numbers, though, so I don't know that numbers are coming in.

Speaker 6 To be fair, for those listening, it took about three months to get Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Jackie has a ring size.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I just get checking in.

Speaker 6 I'm a co-founder of the league and your guys admin.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 7 I think I told Big Cat just normal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I was like, I've got regular hands.
No, I think I just, I said, I think the text I sent you, I was like, give me a 13 and PFT a 12. Right.
So hopefully they fit.

Speaker 1 If they don't, they'll be necklaces.

Speaker 6 We ordered three in different sizes, so you guys will just.

Speaker 1 So Hank gets one?

Speaker 1 Hank's an owner.

Speaker 6 Hank should get one. Yeah, all right.
We need to double check on that. Yeah, he should get one.

Speaker 7 Did you forget about Hank?

Speaker 1 No, no, we just talked to RJ. I think we were in the works.
We got the Boogs and Billy Football and Jake, and they were all asking. No, that, that.
Everyone's now asking. Guess what?

Speaker 1 Now I don't want my ring.

Speaker 1 Well, it's dug

Speaker 1 one. If we're just handing them out to everyone.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, that's the thing. It's your guest checkbook.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. That's true.
That's true. All right.
So, PLL season five, we're very excited.

Speaker 1 You've been very busy, though, I feel like you, so you bought MLL?

Speaker 6 We bought MLL a couple of seasons ago.

Speaker 1 But explain what's happened in the past year with PLL.

Speaker 6 You guys have been doing great, like, you you know ESPN which also happened last year or year before like where's where's the PLL overall in your vision and what the expectations are at yeah because we we were walking back here and this is our fifth season and ahead of our first season is when I first came on the show and we were talking about the history of professional lacrosse so there was a league that I played in major league lacrosse we ended up buying them in 2020 end of 2020 after the pandemic and uh and then integrated one of their teams, the Boston Cannons, to the Cannons.

Speaker 6 But the reason we say that is our fifth season, at least on air with ESPN, we call back to 25 years of pro lacrosse history, which is valuable because if we look at the NBA Finals going on, there's always comparison to players in the 80s versus players now and teams with X amount of championships.

Speaker 6 So we get to benefit from that.

Speaker 1 Some are saying, not me, but some are saying you bought that just so that they could play Paul Rabel highlights.

Speaker 6 That's what some are saying.

Speaker 1 Some are saying that. Some are saying that.
Because that just triggered in my brain. It's like

Speaker 6 a few highlights in POL.

Speaker 1 We have 25 years of history of when I was the best lacrosse player in the world. Interesting.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and let's make sure that runs on air.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I'm being booked for halftime segments.
Listen, I would do the same thing if I were you. So, smart box.

Speaker 6 I don't have a fucking podcast. All right.
I need to be on halftime on ABC.

Speaker 7 I'm going to be the top 10 goals in lacrosse history.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 7 Number seven.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's number five.

Speaker 6 I'm pretty sure. I actually did this this past weekend during the college Final Four.
I was like, you know, in 2007, when we played Duke, we were up six to one, and we ended up winning that game.

Speaker 6 So this game reminds me of that one.

Speaker 1 How many titles did you win at Johns Hopkins? Two. Two.
That's nice. Three, not in the works.

Speaker 6 We went to a third and we lost.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Was that the last one?

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was the last one.

Speaker 1 Shit. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Do you think about that one more than you do the wins?

Speaker 6 Well, when I was playing, I would say I do. That's very athlete rhetoric of you to bring up.
I think about the losses more than I do, but it's also true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, is it? I mean, yeah.

Speaker 6 I watch you guys during the playoffs, both hockey and the NBA.

Speaker 6 You guys feel it, right? When someone loses, you're like, motherfucker.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Hank's probably best to answer that one because he's had two game seven losses against eight seeds.

Speaker 1 At any point in your career, have you lost in the semifinals?

Speaker 6 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Never? Quarterfinals?

Speaker 3 Quarters, yes.

Speaker 6 Quarters are, we say, are like the biggest game to win in college because you get onto this disproportionate stage of the final four. There's like 60,000 people and you never touch that.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 After you lost, did you think, A, did you have any interest in the game afterwards? Like, did you care about watching the game afterwards?

Speaker 1 And two, did you just think you would have beat the team that you would have been playing?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you mean if you lose in the semis.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But even the quarters, even the next round, like

Speaker 1 are you going to be like, I'm going to watch this game? Or are you like, fuck this? I have no interest whatsoever.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, think about, so Penn State lost in the semis to Duke, and the ncaa doesn't have replay on any coaches challenge or end of or end of game and so the duke player's foot was all over the crease and so the goal should have been disallowed but because they don't replay they moved on it was like the world cup in 2010 when france played ireland and got through and ireland was out and so if you're penny state i mean you're living the rest of your life especially those seniors basically answering that question as we got host what what now it's going along the same hypothetical what if you in the semis lost by 20 at home?

Speaker 1 Would you then go out and be like,

Speaker 1 would you go out and then be like, oh, we definitely would have won the title?

Speaker 6 Right, right. Yeah, we match up better against that team than this team.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's fun to do. I mean, Hank tweeted that, you know, the Celtics would have beat the Nuggets in five.
I agree.

Speaker 1 If the Bulls had beaten the Heat, they would have won the title.

Speaker 7 No, straight up. I think Hank's right.
Like, the Celtics would have dominated the Nuggets. I would have changed my bet.

Speaker 1 If the Wizard had won 55 games this year, they would have won the title.

Speaker 7 That's also a fact.

Speaker 6 Possible. These are all right.

Speaker 1 You just never know.

Speaker 6 You never know. Once you get so, so semifinals.
They would have been favored.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you want me to say. They would not have been favored.
They would have been favored.

Speaker 7 They would not have. Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 Because they were not favored before game seven.

Speaker 7 So they would not have been favored. I'm going to get Vegas on the line and get a hypothetical line.

Speaker 1 No, the Nuggets got minus 210 before game seven. So

Speaker 1 they would not have been favored. What do you guys think? Because they could have been playing the Heat.

Speaker 6 What do you think about Daryl Maury's hypothetical when he's like, you know, there's basically eight players in the NBA and you have to make a move at one of them and your chances to win i believe the final is yeah greater than 50 yeah that's probably true but the the eight players they do change there's addition subtractions to that eight player list every single year so you it's either that if you want to win now or you just basically have to get lightning in a bottle in the draft yeah well that's why this is why i love basketball is that the best players that the ball is in their hand the whole game right they're on the floor lacrosse is more like hockey where you know you can't really anticipate the flow of the game and then you have to change in-game your style of play, the coaching.

Speaker 6 In basketball, you can count on X amount of possessions, X amount of shots, and

Speaker 6 that is, to me, as a fan, it's more debatable, more exciting because you get to see those guys, those stars every game do well or play shitty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, if you go back in NBA history, I think

Speaker 1 the last time a team won a title where they didn't have a top 10 guy was probably the Pistons, and that team was just very good overall when they beat the Lakers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like every other iteration was pretty fucking good. No, No, no, no.
No, the 2004 Wallace.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I say it was top 10.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, I'm talking about the one that beat the Lakers at the end of the Lakers.

Speaker 1 Taus Phillips. It was the guy who had the mid-range.

Speaker 1 Rip Hamilton was there. Tayshawn Prince.
But that's kind of

Speaker 1 it. Like every other title team that you look at, they had one of those guys that was the best player or the top 10 player.

Speaker 7 That Pistons team probably had players number like 11 through 16.

Speaker 1 As a team, they were great.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but they didn't have anybody the top 10. Right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 All right. So we do have to talk about the city model that you're now introducing.
So I just assume the water dogs are going to be Chicago.

Speaker 6 Well, that's part two of progress. So we've gone from six to eight teams.
We've gone from NBC to ESPN. We have new sponsors on board.

Speaker 6 We announced last week that we were taking our eight teams to home cities next year.

Speaker 1 And what are the home cities? Which is a huge one, right?

Speaker 6 I mean, how do you guys feel about, you know, sports, especially at the pro level and their association with a home market?

Speaker 1 And you were were smart the way you did it because I think you can't build, we've seen it with some of the spring football leagues. Like, it's hard to just day one be like, oh, this is your team.

Speaker 1 Now you like it. Yeah.
Now you guys have some.

Speaker 6 And if you get that wrong, then you're moving people around on the monopoly board.

Speaker 1 So what are the cities? Do we know the cities?

Speaker 6 We know some.

Speaker 7 Okay. Can we do a city reveal?

Speaker 6 We cannot do.

Speaker 1 Can we do a city reveal?

Speaker 6 Well, I saw the segment this week around you guys wanting the dogs in Chicago. Well, no, it's not really a want.

Speaker 1 It's more like a demand.

Speaker 7 Well, as owners, we can also just move the team to Chicago.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 6 technically not. We have a bidding process that we've yet to disclose to ownership groups.
So that's coming from me to you. Okay.

Speaker 6 And so there's a lot of people who are going to be able to do how much money can we pay you.

Speaker 1 Do you know how Chicago politics works? Essentially, we can rig the bidding process.

Speaker 7 I'll get Lori on the line. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 She's got some time.

Speaker 6 Well, politics talk. Okay.
So a stadium is important. Done.
Done.

Speaker 1 Great. Done.
Soldier Field's going to be empty soon.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I asked players to send a ride.

Speaker 1 Could it be indoors? Yeah, could it be indoors? No stands.

Speaker 1 I love indoors. Could be like

Speaker 1 the maybe shrink the field a little bit to like a middle school basketball gym

Speaker 1 just off the top of my head with a golf simulator in one of the ends that you guys can maybe run into.

Speaker 7 We would also have a full-fledged media apparatus built in

Speaker 7 right next to the field.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh my gosh, we should just do this.

Speaker 6 This is new PMT Studios doubles as Water Dogs home field advantage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when you come play the Water Dogs, it's actually a three-on-three game.

Speaker 6 Will you guys have a pool?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Will you guys have a shower? Yeah. Will you guys have

Speaker 6 Andy? The players.

Speaker 1 We can cut all these guys

Speaker 1 and find guys that don't demand shit.

Speaker 7 I have a sauna. Do they want a sauna?

Speaker 6 They love a sauna.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, I'll sauna.

Speaker 6 That's actually on the list.

Speaker 6 They want unconditional love.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Absolutely not. That's a deal, bro.

Speaker 7 Can there be one condition? What's the condition? If they win.

Speaker 6 Yeah. They get unconditional love?

Speaker 7 Yes. If they're winners.

Speaker 1 If they win all their games. Back-to-back.

Speaker 6 Any loss, you lose the unconditional love. Just off the table.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Owners have to go to every game.

Speaker 8 No. No.

Speaker 1 That's also a no.

Speaker 6 Even when you live and podcasts from the

Speaker 7 still can't guarantee it. Don't you have like a one weekend that's like opening week of the NFL? I might miss that one.

Speaker 1 Well, no, we'll do owners representative.

Speaker 1 This weekend. Yeah.
Owners. Oh, we'll have an owner.
It's on ABC. Yeah.
We'll have an owner's representative at each game. Okay, great.
That's fair. Great.
Okay. What's the starting goalie's name?

Speaker 1 Dylan Ward. He will be our owner's representative.
He'll be at every game. Easy.
That was so easy. Done.
Congrats, Dylan. You're an owner.

Speaker 6 Weight room?

Speaker 1 Sure. Yep.
Okay, great.

Speaker 6 Stella Blue Coffee. That felt like pandering to me.

Speaker 1 Done. That's done.

Speaker 1 No problem. As much as they want.

Speaker 6 Call of Duty, PlayStation, Grassfield instead of turf.

Speaker 1 How about hardwood? Yeah, hardwood is going to be probably cleats. We were saying cleats on a basketball court.
Deal break. Beautiful sound.
Sound like a bunch of horses. So we're halfway there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're halfway there. So this is exciting, though.
So how eight cities. And then what's it going to, are there going to be home games? Are you guys still going to play?

Speaker 6 No, we're keeping, yeah, so there's home games. We're keeping the touring model because we're still building overall attendance and viewership and such.

Speaker 6 So basically what it looks like is you will host a home game in your market, and then each team gets to do that over the 10 regular season games.

Speaker 6 And then there's two availability markets to expand to. Nice.
And then playoffs and championship will probably fall in home markets of the teams that are winning.

Speaker 7 Okay, so are the teams that are like in the home market, let's say hypothetically, just tossing this out there, maybe the Water Dogs are in Chicago. Right.
They're going to live in Chicago?

Speaker 7 They're going to practice in Chicago? Yes.

Speaker 6 I would love the players to get to their home markets.

Speaker 6 There's going to be probably a transitional phase that we're going to figure figure out with our players because they don't know as much as we do where they're going to end up.

Speaker 6 We're still figuring out that. We announced it early so that we could engage with our audience,

Speaker 6 learn more date from more data that's coming in from ESPN to Ticketmaster Live Nation, talk to a bunch of people, including our players, around okay, the prospect of hypothetically water dogs go to Chicago, who's down to live there.

Speaker 6 What is that?

Speaker 1 Be an intern at Barstool Sports, get our coffee, that kind of thing.

Speaker 8 That kind of thing.

Speaker 1 Could be a full team of interest.

Speaker 8 That kind of thing.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 there we go. This is two birds with one stone right here.
Yeah. Any of them want a nanny, my kids.
Boom. Like, we could get all the problems solved.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's designated drivers on the weekend.

Speaker 1 Could be a water. We will put them to work.
Yeah, yeah. So, okay.
So double my side.

Speaker 6 So we really, you know, that's criteria. We want our owners engaged.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're engaged. That's exactly what we're doing.

Speaker 6 And we want them to work with their players in market.

Speaker 1 We're running for the Rust program.

Speaker 7 Then I'll be engaged. How about that?

Speaker 6 Okay, that's good to know. Yeah.
Okay, what about markets that are non-starters for the dogs?

Speaker 1 Ooh,

Speaker 1 St. Louis, right? Yeah.
I think we said we're never going to go to St.

Speaker 7 Louis. St.
Louis is our Mount Rushmore cities will never go to the bottom. What about Washington? Yeah, Washington, D.C.
would love it.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 6 You guys would support the dogs in D.C.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll also throw out another one that if not Chicago, we would move to Oakland and be the kings of Oakland because they've lost every team in the last like five years.

Speaker 1 We wouldn't actually do anything, but we would just say that we brought it.

Speaker 6 What about California? Just call it California. We could move up and down the state.

Speaker 7 Oh, the California Water Dogs?

Speaker 7 We would.

Speaker 7 We could buy a one-bedroom.

Speaker 6 California Water Dogs. So we have California, Washington, D.C., Chicago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, New York. You know, San Diego.
We have all their teams taken from them, too. What about Honolulu?

Speaker 6 Honolulu would be awesome.

Speaker 1 I'm going to throw one out there as well. And this, like, I think we can, we haven't discussed it, but we would definitely be down with the Youngstown, Ohio Water Dogs.
Capital of Grit. Okay.

Speaker 1 Mystery Water Dogs. Yeah, Mystery Water Dogs.
You don't know where they are. No, Alaska.
Oh, yeah. Okay, that too.
Play their games at like 3 a.m. Yeah, like our mountain water.
Don't know what it is.

Speaker 7 Kind of like a husky, anyways, isn't it? The mystery

Speaker 1 woggers. Just the American Water Dogs.
All of the country's ours.

Speaker 6 The American Water Dogs.

Speaker 6 Yep, that's a catch-all.

Speaker 1 Who's our big rival?

Speaker 1 This. The Whipsnakes.

Speaker 7 The Whipsnakes. I fucking hate them.
Move them to the Sentinelese Islands.

Speaker 7 That's their home state game.

Speaker 6 And what about, what about, so we're probably, a good guess for a lacrosse fan, someone who watched MLL would say the Cannons are going to be in Boston.

Speaker 6 And then whatever. Did you ever watch the Boston Cannons? Of course.

Speaker 8 My man. Growing up.

Speaker 6 Do you want to love the Cannons?

Speaker 1 Maybe we can get you on the battlefield. Three of your favorite Cannon players.

Speaker 6 You know what I kind of like?

Speaker 1 Peter Uline,

Speaker 1 Paul Rabel. There's one.

Speaker 1 He also told me he really was a big Matt Rambo.

Speaker 6 He was a big Matt Rambo fan, big Kevin Buchanan fan, and Ryan Boyle, who pulls our games with Jake.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah. So there's three right there.

Speaker 1 You know what you should do? And this is just like, I'm being serious here.

Speaker 1 You're doing the city model, it would actually be advantageous to do something like they used to do in like the NBA way back in the day where it's regional draft.

Speaker 1 So like if Chicago got the Water Dogs, they get at least one Notre Dame player every year. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So you keep that. connection.
Yeah. And this may be me trying to get both Kavanaugh brothers, but that's fine.

Speaker 6 I'm willing to do that. What do you guys think about drafts drafts in general?

Speaker 1 I like them when they're rigged. Yep.
Yeah. We get first pick every year.

Speaker 6 The difference between American Pro Sports and just call it like global football is the draft because without the draft, you can just acquire players when they're young and assign them to your academies.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Or even in college.
And I think now with NIL happening the way it does, that I would push the NBA to move in that direction and the NFL.

Speaker 6 The NBA easier than the NFL because of all like the contact and how difficult it is to play in the NFL.

Speaker 6 But if you kill a draft, you can just start acquiring these players that are superstars when they're 16 anyway. Yeah.
Have you thought about doing a snake draft?

Speaker 1 Yes. Snake drafts.
We can do a snake draft. Also, I mean, we can just get rid of a draft.

Speaker 6 There's only eight teams.

Speaker 1 It's not, it's not as, it's not as like, it's not 31 teams. We have to go 31 up, 31 down.

Speaker 1 Eight is reasonable.

Speaker 6 Also, eight is reasonable.

Speaker 6 And eight allows us to grow the awareness and

Speaker 6 the wage profile of our players.

Speaker 6 The more we add teams, the more everyone sort of dilutes.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about draft order? Maybe 50 bucks Frank the Tank cameo. He decides a draft order every year.

Speaker 6 That would be interesting. That's a good idea.

Speaker 1 He just randomly decides a draft order.

Speaker 1 More money than 50 bucks.

Speaker 1 We don't even tell him what he's deciding the draft order for. You just give him the names of like each captain and he will just rattle it off for you late August.

Speaker 6 That feels like a good idea though to honestly crowdfund against the fans of each team for the number one pick and all that money goes to us.

Speaker 1 The owner. Done.
Done. Yeah, I mean, you could do

Speaker 7 it. It's interesting because

Speaker 7 I've thought about getting rid of the draft, what that would look like in football and in basketball.

Speaker 7 It's kind of weird that you take kids coming out of college and then you tell them, okay, you're going to move to this city. This is where you're going to work.

Speaker 7 You don't have a choice in the situation. But now that I'm an owner, I love that.

Speaker 1 But we're paying you millions of dollars. But they do have a clearance, right? They don't have to sign.

Speaker 6 Like, Leono Messi and his family didn't have to sign with Barcelona Football Club.

Speaker 7 No, Hank, let's talk about it real quick. Because if you go to college for

Speaker 7 any other vocation, right? You have a choice of where you're going to go and they're going to pay you maybe sometimes what about West Point.

Speaker 7 Shitload.

Speaker 6 And then they can put you on loan as well.

Speaker 1 No one's coming out of college making millions of dollars except for professional athletes.

Speaker 7 No, but some people, you make hundreds of thousands of dollars and you get to choose where you work.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 if you got offered to get millions of dollars but told where to work, they're taking yesterday. Ronnie James, right? Like Ronnie James.

Speaker 7 I'm not crying for professional athletes not being able to do this. I'm saying it's completely different from every other thing about American business.

Speaker 6 I love it. And it turns it into more of a business because now you're scouting and you're acquiring talent when they're young.
You're helping them develop. They are allowed to go to college and play.

Speaker 6 You have to pay them on background. You can loan them out to other teams if you want.

Speaker 1 I would like, though, for the Water Dogs to be in a position where we can do the process and actually see it all the way through, tank for multiple years in a row to just try to get as many assets and then get like a really tall guy who runs out of gas every single playoffs.

Speaker 6 I mean, look, I've gotten owners from different leagues that are asking if they can sit down and meet with you guys, how you were able to turn that team around so quickly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was

Speaker 1 a bigger one.

Speaker 6 Neglig expansion, and everyone wants to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's actually one of them is criticize the team publicly.

Speaker 1 It's really the

Speaker 1 key is to be as hands-off as possible where you don't even watch the games. Right.

Speaker 7 We put our lacrosse guys in a position to make lacrosse decisions. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're just the owners. Exactly.

Speaker 1 We hired good people.

Speaker 7 Andy Copeland.

Speaker 1 Andy Andy Copeland, who I might have put on the hot seat two years ago.

Speaker 6 Well, he felt that heat.

Speaker 1 Well, we weren't playing D.

Speaker 1 We said on this show, we got to take away the D from his name. He's just Andy Copeland now.
Like, it was ridiculous how bad we were. So we're better now, though.
We're good. We're champions.

Speaker 1 Jake Marshall on the call. He's doing, he's been, let's talk about Jake Marshall.
Okay, yeah, yeah. Has he been, is there room for him to eventually be like the Kevin Harlan or Joe Buck of lacrosse?

Speaker 6 On the slate regularly. I'm pushing for him.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He loves doing it, and no one works harder.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 6 his prep sheet is like three different laminated

Speaker 6 stats and team qualifiers and all that stuff. He comes with a game face.

Speaker 1 Well, and I don't know if you hear, but when he's about to call a lacrosse game for you guys, we say on this show, like, if you don't tune in, we hope you die. So, like, it's a pretty good incentive.

Speaker 6 It's a good push. The highest viewed games are when Jake Marsh is on the call.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of people. People don't want to die.

Speaker 7 Did you know that he doesn't wear pants when he's on the the call?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I haven't seen that, but it doesn't surprise me.

Speaker 7 Just nude from the waist down, but he's not

Speaker 1 no underwear.

Speaker 7 Well, it depends on where he's at. Some states have different laws.

Speaker 7 Yeah, typically just no belt, no pants, just whatever God gave him.

Speaker 6 Because he's getting hot.

Speaker 1 Well, no, he says he needs it for his voice. Yeah.
Oh, because he really finds his voice for him. Vocal cards come from our test.

Speaker 1 Exactly. They really do.

Speaker 7 I have a question for you. Kind of a serious question.
As a commissioner, how would you rank the other commissioners?

Speaker 7 If you look at Roger Goodell,

Speaker 1 Bettman,

Speaker 7 and the other ones, Rob Manford and David Stern.

Speaker 6 So I love Adam Silver. He's the man.

Speaker 6 He's been super supportive of the PLL and strategic at times. Two online.
I've never met Roger Goodell.

Speaker 6 Gary Bettman was just recognized for his career at the Sports Business Awards, and he's probably the most controversial. I mean, Roger.

Speaker 6 Roger and then Bettman. But Bettman was a part of two strikes, I think, in the NHL.
And he came over from the NBA. So he's got loads of experience, but he's a legal background.

Speaker 6 And was it Bettman that the Bettman era that really started the fans booing commissioners, and that's bled over to Goodell? I think it started with Bettman, didn't it?

Speaker 7 I think it was like when Goodell started finding people for everything, for literally everything. Like, oh, your socks are a little bit too low.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 $10,000. Yeah.
But I don't think Goodell's even, he's not really controversial anymore because everyone hates him.

Speaker 6 I feel like he has a pretty big PR campaign right now going on. Yeah.
Where he's doing a lot more media. They used to never do media.

Speaker 1 But Selig was also very hated for how he dealt with steroids.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Manfred now.

Speaker 6 Imagine Manfred coming on this show and talking about rules.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which never happened.

Speaker 6 Would never happen.

Speaker 6 And Major League Baseball is getting so much love right now for doing something that we've been calling for for 15 fucking years. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're late to it. Yeah.

Speaker 6 But they get credit. We just changed our shot clock a little bit, made it a little bit faster.

Speaker 1 Well, Goodell does something that we've noticed over the years that we point out every time he will take something away that is fun.

Speaker 1 And then when everyone gets upset, he'll give it back. And then he'll be like, look, I gave it back.
Like when he did the touchdown celebrations. And then he gave it back.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, Goodell, what a good job. So you need to do that.

Speaker 6 Oldest trick in the book.

Speaker 1 Take away goals for an entire season.

Speaker 6 Take away.

Speaker 1 Every game's a 0-0 tie. Then give it back.
And everyone's like, holy shit, Paul Rabel, we got goals again. That's a lower wages.
Good strategy.

Speaker 6 Lower wages the year before you're going to increase wages.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 Or start just out of nowhere, finding people like $50,000 because your cleats are too bright. Yeah.

Speaker 7 And then be like, tell you what, I'm going to let you do one weekend where you can wear whatever color shoes you want as long as you donate your game check to charity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Replays when he did instant replay for past interference and then was like, I'm taking it away. Games are going to be shorter.

Speaker 6 What about finding owners?

Speaker 1 We're not cool with that. Wait, new owners did you say finding or finding

Speaker 1 finding owners no that's not okay no good luck not good good luck i mean you know how long it took you to sign a contract right commissioners become an owners commissioners answer to owners anyway that's true you are yeah you are figurehead yeah we are your boss not to negotiate against myself but you say puppet yeah you're a puppet to be fair what we decide on behind the scenes like off the mics is We usually get into it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's where it really gets dirty. Yeah, where we have those

Speaker 1 knockdown, drag out fights in the conference rooms. Exactly.

Speaker 7 It is cool, though, that you bought the league that you used to play in. That's got to feel good, right? Like an ultimate flex.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it was good. It was good.

Speaker 6 They were difficult, man.

Speaker 6 You guys still haven't seen the documentary that you're in, have you?

Speaker 7 Billy saw it.

Speaker 6 Billy saw it. You know, you guys are on Hulu right now.
Pardon my take and you guys basically bringing in the story

Speaker 6 of

Speaker 6 Major League Lacrosse and Premier Lacrosse League.

Speaker 7 I did see that clip.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did see that clip, too.

Speaker 6 It's a good story. You guys should watch.

Speaker 1 I'm always nervous, though. Like, we were on Good Morning America the other day.
Do you guys know that? Huh? Liver King interview, and it was just us shirtless. And I was like, fuck it.
Right.

Speaker 1 So, I never really kind of this one. This one was good.
I don't go back. I go forward.

Speaker 6 This one was good. But yeah, no, at that time, bring that up because at that time, when we were signing the players over to us, their ownership group just started talking a bunch of shit on us.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? And yeah, and things should have brought us together.

Speaker 6 It's like they don't have a network deal.

Speaker 6 They don't have any money.

Speaker 6 There was one rumor that came out because Mike and I went to the Super Bowl

Speaker 6 on behalf of a partner yet to be announced. It was Gatorade at the time.
And they're like, they're spending all their money on themselves.

Speaker 6 And then on the phone players, he was like, did you guys spend 50K to go to the Super Bowl? And I'm like, what the fuck is this turning into?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I heard that that was true.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that you went to the Super Bowl. It wasn't cheap.

Speaker 1 You spent all that money.

Speaker 1 You should, when you get in these negotiations that are tough, tap us in. We're ready to just completely soil someone online yeah

Speaker 1 you give us the list of names and we'll just tweet shit about them all the time yeah you have a price yeah we will do we will get in the mud for you who's your biggest enemy you did get in the mud for me that one time remember we talked about it yeah when you took your helmet off and got in that fight right yeah right

Speaker 1 and everyone was like that's what it was like this is weird the guy who took his helmet off and got in a fight is also the guy uh you know putting down the the suspensions but you were in the right you you you did not handle that you had someone else handle it, which I respected.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
So I did get in the mud for you because people were saying, oh, Paul Rabel's not going to suspend. You let someone else handle it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Which was fair. Your brother.
You have to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 1 Hands off this one. Right.
This is his brother and his mom.

Speaker 1 Not my decision. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Was that ever awkward? Like, guys wanted to fight you, but they're like, he's the commissioner. I don't know if I should.
Yeah, it was hard.

Speaker 6 Actually, training camp started last week. I was there

Speaker 6 for the first few practices, and it felt better than it ever has because I was now two seasons away from playing.

Speaker 6 And so even last year after I had retired, it was still a little bit of that stare down in a hallway, like sizing you up type of thing, which I hated because, you know, I'm not going to come back.

Speaker 8 Right. But maybe.
Officially? Officially retire.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 7 There could be a sequel to that movie.

Speaker 1 You should just have the championship team sign you every year right before the championship game.

Speaker 6 Right before the championship game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just be like,

Speaker 6 Yeah, put waiver, extend waivers a few more weeks into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 See if you can get like 15 titles and just be like, I'm the the goat. Look at all these rings.
That would be sick. We have some serious.

Speaker 6 Which commissioner do you think would do that? Oh, Goodell.

Speaker 1 Goodell. Goodell, for sure.

Speaker 1 I have one last question for you, Paul. And this has been great.
PLL coming back. Season five.

Speaker 1 Check it out. Training camp started.
We have Billy and Jake in Training Camp right now.

Speaker 6 June 3rd and 4th, Saturday and Sunday at 1 p.m. Both games on ABC.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.
Water Dogs play at 1 o'clock. Yes.

Speaker 6 Yes. Against Chaos on Sunday.
Yes. We have eight ABC windows.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 6 We're trying to figure out where to bring the water dogs. We had someone, our director of marketing sent me

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 6 you guys and all of your listeners. It's waterdogscomehome.com if you want to have a say

Speaker 6 in where the team goes.

Speaker 7 Okay, which market wants it?

Speaker 6 D.C., Chicago, California.

Speaker 1 Where else do you go? Youngstown.

Speaker 6 Youngstown, Alaska. Alaska.
And then America.

Speaker 1 Let's throw in Afghanistan. Right.
Let's just see.

Speaker 6 Let's see. Get some votes.

Speaker 1 Let's just see. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 that would throw a little wrinkle in your league.

Speaker 7 Imagine flying into Kabul for a tournament.

Speaker 1 Look, Navy SEALs are also known as water dogs.

Speaker 1 Altitude, too.

Speaker 6 Navy SEALs are also known as water dogs.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's true. Yes.

Speaker 8 So,

Speaker 1 you know. All right.
So, my last question: Rowback question, promo code take 20% off your first purchase. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, and shorts.

Speaker 1 Shorts, when you're going to see PLL this year, wear your rowback all summer long.

Speaker 1 This is the most important thing.

Speaker 1 You need to get us Bill Bellicheck on PMT.

Speaker 7 You promised.

Speaker 1 Right. It's time you tell us, you tell Bill wherever he wants us to be, time, place, we don't care.
We'll be there.

Speaker 6 Okay, I'm going to lean into this one.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 Okay, so what's in it for me?

Speaker 6 I will strategize on this.

Speaker 7 We made a deal last year when you were on this show. We said that

Speaker 7 we would go to a game.

Speaker 6 It wasn't a good deal, though. It was like flying you guys by private airline and helicopter on.
We had some demands.

Speaker 1 We had some demands.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 We will be in attendance for an entire weekend of games. Okay.

Speaker 7 If Bill Belichick will be there, and we can interview Bill Belichick at the tournament.

Speaker 1 At the games.

Speaker 6 Well, it may.

Speaker 1 Wait, Hank, what? Wait. Or we could just be anywhere else.
Yeah, we don't have to do that. Like, it does have to be a weekend, a full weekend.
And we don't have to interview Belichick if he's not.

Speaker 1 Like, we can. Yeah, we can go interview Belichick.

Speaker 6 Here's what I'll say. And you want him in person.

Speaker 1 In person? I will care more.

Speaker 1 I will ramp up up my care.

Speaker 6 That would be an incredible podcast, by the way.

Speaker 7 Yes, it would.

Speaker 1 So we don't have to interview Bill at a game. Yeah, and we don't have to go to a game.

Speaker 6 But he wouldn't let that happen.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 We will go to one game.

Speaker 1 We will go to one. No game.
All game. And we will care significantly more.

Speaker 6 A water dogs game.

Speaker 1 Sure. And we will care.

Speaker 1 You're missing the care part. I'm taking my care from zero to at least 10.
I know.

Speaker 6 That's why they asked for unconditional love.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm willing to. If they win.
I don't want to promise too much. I mean, I can actually maybe speak for myself in my area, but we are designing the new studio.
Like,

Speaker 1 we could put some signage up. Yeah, some water dogs.
Water dogs. That might be the Water Dogs mural.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A Water Dogs mural. A championship mural.

Speaker 7 A small mural. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A pocket-sized mural.

Speaker 6 That's like a sticker.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 We'll get a sticker on the wall.

Speaker 1 There will be a sticker.

Speaker 7 I'll draw a picture of a dog in a post-it note and put it behind me.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I don't see the water dogs helmet here now that we're

Speaker 1 put a PLL sticker on my computer. That's Billy took that.

Speaker 1 Right here. But on the computer,

Speaker 6 PFT coming in. Bang!

Speaker 7 My owner's jacket.

Speaker 1 Damn. I wear this.
I've never even seen that.

Speaker 6 Every day.

Speaker 7 Because you're not in the owner's club.

Speaker 6 Right. I'm not.

Speaker 7 You're in the Commission Club.

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's sick. Yeah, we could get something on the wall.
I'm not sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So let's do that.
Okay, cool.

Speaker 6 So I'll work on that

Speaker 6 throughout the offseason.

Speaker 7 Right now. Now is the off season.
It's the offseason today.

Speaker 1 Right now.

Speaker 6 We'll work on that right now.

Speaker 7 You mean this offseason?

Speaker 1 The football offseason, yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Right now.
We will go right now.

Speaker 1 It would be the start of Grit Week. It would be incredible.
We'll ask at least three lacrosse questions. When is the ring ceremony?

Speaker 6 He will definitely talk about lacrosse.

Speaker 1 We will ask him lacrosse. That's a guarantee.
Guaranteed to ask about lacrosse.

Speaker 6 He's only been on one other podcast.

Speaker 1 Which one? Yours?

Speaker 6 Since 2007, we played Duke, and we were down 6-1, and we won the championship. Yeah, it's a self-call.

Speaker 6 He's been on my podcast.

Speaker 1 Okay, so he knows how to do a podcast. We would take great

Speaker 1 awful about it, though.

Speaker 6 It was, I don't know, five or six years ago, and he was like, yeah, I'll do it. And he was like, so what is a podcast? When I started taking out the microphones, so now he knows.

Speaker 1 He's like, how many people are going to listen to this? Now he knows. I don't know.

Speaker 6 Now he knows. Now he knows.

Speaker 1 So he's prepped.

Speaker 1 I mean, it would be.

Speaker 6 I'm going to have to go through his guy, Burge.

Speaker 1 That's fine. So we got to do that.
Whatever you got to do.

Speaker 6 You guys have maybe take Burge out for dinner.

Speaker 1 I've heard about Burge.

Speaker 7 No problem. He's a legend.
I bet you.

Speaker 1 He's a legend.

Speaker 1 I bet you he has heard this podcast. I guarantee you.
Because Edelman plays it constantly. He's just walking around with a boom box.

Speaker 6 He's going to have a conversation with the crafts. They're investors in the PLL.
You guys are owners. We should make this happen.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Under owner. We'll talk to him.
Yes.

Speaker 6 Let's talk about when he's done coaching in the NFL, which PLL team. That's my only

Speaker 1 question. Done.

Speaker 7 I want to fire Copeland in a second Yeah.

Speaker 1 For Bella Chan.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
Well, Paul Rabel, always great to see you. Always great to have you come by.
PLL back. Water Dogs playing

Speaker 1 this weekend. Jake Marsh.
Jake Marsh.

Speaker 6 Jake Marsh on the call. The boys are already there.
Love you guys. Thanks for having me.
Yes.

Speaker 12 Man, I'll tell you what. When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts.

Speaker 12 That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 12 that thing is packed roasted peanuts nugget caramel milk chocolate it's like the mvp of candy bars and when you bite into it boom it sorts you out gets your head back in the game of life satisfying your hunger remember this snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else snickers satisfies man that's a winning play okay uh

Speaker 1 We're going to do the second half of the show. We have our first movie review.
Well, we did one a couple weeks weeks ago, but

Speaker 1 Max has joined us. Max.com.
Go download Max.com. We talked about succession last week.
Good Max. Good Max.

Speaker 1 We talked about Succession last week. We're going to do some movie reviews in the coming weeks, and we started this week with Bloodsport.

Speaker 1 Bloodsport, a classic 1988 action movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Actually, the movie that started the Mussels from Brussels.

Speaker 1 This was his first starring role. I think he was like 28 in this movie.
Very good-looking guy. But blood sport.
What? He's French?

Speaker 1 The muscles from Brussels. Brussels.

Speaker 1 France. Belgium.
Belgium. Close enough.
Waffles. I was trying to figure that out.
This, and we'll get into the notes. This was.

Speaker 1 I've obviously heard about him. I know you talk about him a lot.
It was a little bit before my time, so this is my first JBC movie. And he is

Speaker 7 JC V D.

Speaker 1 Yeah. JC V D.

Speaker 7 And it is awesome. I forgot.
I probably haven't seen this movie in 15, 20 years. It's better than when I saw it when I was younger.
It is. It's like a fine wine, gets better with age.

Speaker 7 What I really like about this movie, you know how they have the Bechdel test?

Speaker 7 I'm pretty sure that's the one where if you watch a movie and two women have a conversation with each other that isn't about a man, then it passes the Bechdel test.

Speaker 7 With this one...

Speaker 7 There should be a Van Damme test where there are more punches than there are words said during the movie.

Speaker 7 And it passes with flying colors. It's incredible.
From the very start to the end, it's just everything that you want out of a cheesy 80s action movie.

Speaker 1 It's the best. It is

Speaker 1 the thing I love, so little description of the movie for people who didn't watch it, but you should watch it. It's on Max.com.
It's a classic. It's a mandatory watch if you like action movies.

Speaker 1 It is Frank Dukes, who's in the Army, who

Speaker 1 was trained as a young child by Tanaka, Tanaka's son, actual son. Well, there was a couple things happened.
Tanaka, they had some flashbacks. Tanaka just casually dropping, like, my first family.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we lived in Hiroshima. Whoops.
That wasn't good. What were you going to say, Hank? I mean, there's a few things.
The scenes with the kid, the kid actors, when he

Speaker 1 helps Tanaka's son not bullied in the hug, some of the worst acting of all time. Oh, that's what makes it happen.

Speaker 1 That's a great sign of a cheesy movie.

Speaker 1 The kid's acting was horrific. Yeah, also the Rare Giants Giants fan.
He had a San Francisco Giants hat and a New York Giants jersey.

Speaker 7 As Jake Marsh pointed out, that's the Mike Frances. That's the Frances.
If they ever get together, I actually looked up that jersey on the New York Giants that he was wearing.

Speaker 7 Duke says a kid is wearing a Brian Kelly jersey, which is appropriate given the shitty accent. Yes.

Speaker 1 Right off the bat, first, it might have been the first shot, first person they showed was a

Speaker 1 man doing karate. And I just had the feeling of like, I bet you this dude is like 25.
Yeah. But he looks so much older.

Speaker 1 Like, everyone that was supposed to be young in this movie just looks way older than they.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's just me being older now that's the 80s but i was like these people are supposed to be like younger than i am and they all look like they're 35 in the 80s if you were 29 years old you would look like you were 60.

Speaker 1 yeah it also this movie is so great because it is the easiest movie to understand they telegraph everything foreshadowing is like hits you over the head with foreshadowing like the the kumite having the son tanaka's son die and then van dam has to go train with tanaka and get ready for the kumite the scene where he's he's like finally done training and he sets the table with the blindfold and then catches Tanaka's punch blindfolded.

Speaker 1 You're like, ooh, I mean, that might come back in handy later. Mrs.
Tanaka was leaking. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 She was leaking.

Speaker 7 If you like montages, this is the movie for you. There's like seven different montages in there.

Speaker 7 I like when they get to Hong Kong.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they go. So he gets trained by Tanaka.

Speaker 1 Then he's leaving.

Speaker 1 He basically went AWOL from the army in the first like five minutes to go to Hong Kong to fight in the Kumite, which is an underground fight to the death to find the greatest fighter in the world.

Speaker 7 Yes, and when they get to Hong Kong, that's when things really start to kick off because you get to meet the other fighters from different parts of the world.

Speaker 7 And it's basically like Street Fighter or like Mortal Kombat, the movie.

Speaker 1 Mortal Kombat was based on this movie. Yeah, so it's

Speaker 7 pretty much the same plot. Yes.
But they do it better in Bloodsport. But once you get to Hong Kong,

Speaker 7 it's fighters from all around the world. And they're all so very stereotypical about the countries that they come from.

Speaker 1 One even being a bad stereotypical.

Speaker 7 Yeah, very, very, I think we can all agree that that one guy. That was wild that that was ever in a movie.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 The coconut scene at the beginning.

Speaker 1 Well, wow.

Speaker 1 But you know who we're talking about, Hank. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
The

Speaker 7 Saudi Arabian guy was my favorite because he was very clearly just Asian. Yeah.
But he was wearing a Saudi Arabian headscarf. Yes.

Speaker 7 And it's like, okay, this guy, this bad guy, is now trying to kidnap the woman reporter. And then Van Dam shows up at the bar and he's like, she's not your property.
You can't claim her.

Speaker 7 I'll tell you what, let's gamble. And if I win, then she's my property.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 a quarter trick. The quarter trick is all time.
And yeah, the Saudi Arabian guy's name is Hossein. Yeah, Hossein.

Speaker 7 Saudi Arabia should put together, I mean, if they love blood sport, that's kind of their business model these days. Yeah.
They should do a big-ass international fighting trip. Why not?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Was it just me or was his buddy just Ben Roffelsberger? Oh, yeah, Ray Jackson.
And it was on brand when this first scene is like sexually harassing the woman on the bus.

Speaker 1 And then Van Dam's like, we're going to be boys now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's also great because in like these 80s action movies, there's usually a love angle which Van Dam has with the reporter, who the reporter just basically was like, I want to get in the Kumite.

Speaker 1 Also, let's fuck. And maybe you'll let me in the Kumite.

Speaker 1 But there's also like a very heavy, like, hetero-love connection where when they start playing a video game together and they look at each other like that's Bro Love.

Speaker 1 Dude him and Tanako like I wrote that down multiple times. He basically has sexual tension with everyone.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Well, that's Van Dam. Van Dam is so hot that everyone wants to fuck him.

Speaker 7 He's just chilling in his room getting ready for the Kumite and he's doing the splits on that like elevated platform.

Speaker 1 Even the military police that are after him in Hong Kong, he's got sexual tension with them.

Speaker 1 That was one of the greatest chase scenes of all time. Van Dam, so he's at the Kumite.
He goes through the first round.

Speaker 1 There's the army, We're led to believe that Frank Dukes is this incredible soldier that they need to get back a great asset for the U.S. Army.
They never addressed that, right?

Speaker 1 Because that was, I was, I kind of wasn't paying attention maybe in the very, very beginning where if they did a quick explainer, but I was like, what does he need to get back for?

Speaker 1 Like, what is his job? He needs to get hurt. Yeah, they invested in him.

Speaker 1 He's in the robo contact. He's a super soldier.

Speaker 7 One Frank Dukes could take out an entire subcontinent. Yes.
So they need him back. They can't have him getting killed.
He was like,

Speaker 1 wasn't he just like mopping the floor? No, he, dude, he's the best of the best.

Speaker 7 He's always on standby.

Speaker 1 He's just a great movie.

Speaker 7 He's like an A-bomb. It's like you have to have him around in case you need him.

Speaker 1 So the military police chase him. Maybe the greatest chase scene of all time.
They chase through the streets of Hong Kong. They probably cover like five miles.

Speaker 1 The entire chase, the military police is 20 feet behind Van Dam. Like he's always there.

Speaker 1 He never opens the gap. He's playing with them.
He's fooling with them. It's like a Scooby-Doo chase.

Speaker 1 Yeah, great montage and then we get back to uh the kumite we obviously have ray jackson his love his hetero love affair uh gets beat bad by chong lie which again another four to foreshadow when when uh when ray jackson was like i want you chong lie and he also said i this is one of my favorite parts of these cheesy movies that they have to make sure that like halfway through the movie they say the title of the movie because he's they're watching the fights and ray jackson just turns to him he's like that's why they call it they call it blood sport, kid.

Speaker 1 I wrote it in my notes that a light bulb went off for me. Yeah.
When he said that, I was like. Yeah.
That's why they call it blood sport.

Speaker 7 I had no idea why until during the sport there was blood.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Chung Li's a bad Leo.
I was like, yeah. Chung Li killed a guy.
Crazy. Former Kumite.
Then he kills another guy in this Kumite.

Speaker 7 Maybe the craziest pecs of all time. Oh.
Just like

Speaker 7 his pecs extend downward towards his knees, but it's all muscle. That's all man.

Speaker 1 He also has Chung Li all-time villain because he has one single line the entire movie, You Are Next. That's it.
That's the only time we hear him talk.

Speaker 1 Everyone starts turning on him because he's killing guys for just like he Kevin weird a guy. Like he just did

Speaker 1 bad stuff. He kills a guy.

Speaker 1 It gets silent. The crowd stands up.
They turn their back. And then it just goes back to fighting.
Well, yes, but they don't even know what they're saying. That's why they call it Blood Sport.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 7 You sign up for Blood Sport with the understanding that you might die. Yeah.
That's what makes it so alluring.

Speaker 1 So then we get to the final scene with Jean-Claude Van Dam versus Chung Lee. And this is crazy, but Chung Lee cheats and blinds Van Dam.

Speaker 1 Thankfully, we found out early on that Van Dam is trained blindfolded.

Speaker 1 Never saw that coming back. And Van Dam ends up winning.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we, I mean, I guess you're going to say this is why they call it Blood Sport, but...

Speaker 1 But the split punching the balls.

Speaker 1 That was a cheap shot. I don't think Hank knows why they call it Blood Sport.
Hank, no, I get it. No, I just feel like you're not.
You feel like you're missing all the time.

Speaker 7 You can do anything in sport to get blood.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you fast forward to it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you fast-forwarded to the championship, but I thought it was a little bit of a scumbag, low, you know, cheap shot when he just did the split and punched the guy in the nuts to advance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's blood sport.

Speaker 1 You hit him off the runway,

Speaker 1 you knock him out, or they say Matei, which is uncle.

Speaker 7 I don't like what Hank's doing right here. This is the pussification of Blood Sport that Hank's going through.

Speaker 7 It might as well be flagged Bloodsport.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a fight to the test. I mean, Chung Lee beat a guy up unconscious, and then in front of the entire audience, snapped his neck and killed him.

Speaker 1 And you're worried about a fucking nut shot. Yeah, no, I guess.

Speaker 1 I knew you were going to say that. It's blood sport.
Anything, no rules. All right.
So, Van Dam

Speaker 7 is it possible to hear a punch coming?

Speaker 1 Well, he is for him.

Speaker 7 I think for Van Dam. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He set the table.
Oh, whatever, Hank.

Speaker 7 You're just, you're anti-blood sport. I can't trust you.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just, I just. You don't know why it's called blood sport.

Speaker 7 You don't know combat sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But Van Dam

Speaker 1 wins, beats Chung Li, the greatest champion of all time.

Speaker 1 Beautiful ending. Ray Jack goes to the hospital.
I'm nice. I love you, man.
He looked like Tyler Hansborough when he was bloody and like screaming. Yeah.
He looked exactly like Tyler Hansborough.

Speaker 1 Finding the, yeah, he does like a, he finds like his, his, his surroundings, even though he can't see. You know who

Speaker 7 my favorite guys in in these types of movies are? They're the toss guys. And you see them in martial arts, too, like demonstrations.

Speaker 7 Their entire job is to run at Steven Seagal and then just get touched by him and then do like three flips because the power of his finger was so strong that it like launched you into orbit.

Speaker 7 This movie is filled with toss guys

Speaker 7 just getting thrown around left and right. They love that shit.

Speaker 1 The best one, I added it in the notes. The guy,

Speaker 1 he screamed and then Van Dam kicked him once and then he kicked him a second time and he flew out like he just flew into he flew into the abyss.

Speaker 1 That was the fight. That was a great that was laugh out loud funny.

Speaker 7 There's such an art in being a toss guy. I feel like you have to be a toss guy for enough years until you get promoted to being the guy that gets to beat the shit out of the toss guys.

Speaker 1 Yes. I also, there's also like scenes.
This is really the mark of a great 80s action movie. There's scenes that feel important that just don't have any importance and never get brought up again.

Speaker 1 When like Hussein loses his gold tooth and they zoom in on the guy who's cleaning up the mat who steals it. And you're like, will that come back? No, that did.

Speaker 1 Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
That was completely had no relevance whatsoever. But the Hitchcock Zoom, they did that too in the beginning.

Speaker 1 That's a sign of

Speaker 1 an old school movie when they're just doing the Hitchcock Zoom as much as possible.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 there was

Speaker 7 some information that I found when I looked up about this movie because I want to know the history behind Bloodsport.

Speaker 1 What was a critical reception? Oh, I have a critical reception.

Speaker 7 It's got a good score on Rotten Tomatoes. I think it's like 87 or something like that.

Speaker 7 Maybe that's IMDB that I saw.

Speaker 1 It's a 46 approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Speaker 1 One of the reviews that came out at the time was basically said, what was it? It was like, this is a cliche movie.

Speaker 1 It made money. It made good money.
But yeah, oh, yeah,

Speaker 1 Beyond Van Dam's athleticism, bloodsport is a cliched, virtually plotless exercise in action movie recycling. Disagree with that.

Speaker 7 Well, that's like saying beyond Patrick Mahomes, the Chiefs aren't a very good football team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but so. This movie, by the way, Max didn't like this movie.
We'll hear from him at the end.

Speaker 1 I did see, I saw this movie like 20 years ago, and I was explaining this.

Speaker 1 And I think you probably went through the same thing, PFT, where at the end, the movie ends, and they reveal that this is all based on a true story. And it's Frank Dukes, and he's got world records,

Speaker 1 fastest knockout, 3.2 seconds, fastest kick, 72 miles an hour, most consecutive knockouts in a single tournament, 56.

Speaker 1 So when I watched this 20 years ago, I was like, this is fucking cool. Badass.
The internet's not the internet. I just believed it.
Last night I rewatched it and I went and looked it up.

Speaker 1 And Frank Dukes is the greatest liar of all time. Yeah.
All of it is fake. So when they interviewed a screenwriter,

Speaker 7 that screenwriter said that, like, this is, there are some issues with the script based on what Frank Dukes told me.

Speaker 7 He said it is based on a true story, except Frank Dukes lied about his fighting record as well as the existence of the entire tournament.

Speaker 1 As well as his military record,

Speaker 7 which is like the entire thing is made up.

Speaker 1 He's the greatest liar of all time. Like, I actually think they should make a blood sport.
They did make two, three more blood sports, but Van Dam's not in them.

Speaker 1 They need to make a making of the blood sport. So, Frank Dukes is a guy who was in the Marines and he left the Marines.

Speaker 1 So, there's it basically is all based on this one article that was written about him in 1980, where the author feels like they just believed everything he said.

Speaker 1 He said that he was in the CIA, he was blowing up like oil depots in Iraq and like going like all these covert operations. The CIA came out and was like, none of this is true.

Speaker 1 He, they're actually, if you look at his uh military record in 1978, he was institutionalized for having like bad thoughts and like completely making stuff up.

Speaker 7 Have you ever heard of MK Ultra in the CIA?

Speaker 1 Big cat, big cat.

Speaker 7 Do you think the CIA would acknowledge this stuff if it was true?

Speaker 1 He's basically used the CIA being like a covert like organization to make his career even bigger, where he's like, yeah, well, they erased all the records.

Speaker 1 So, of course, they're not going to tell me this. Correct.
He had, so he, I like Frank Dukes simply because when he gets caught in a lie, he just lies even more. They asked for where the Kumite

Speaker 1 sword is. And he said,

Speaker 1 I had it, but I had to sell it, pawn it, to pay ransom. for a bunch of kids that were kidnapped by Somali pirates.
So he just made that.

Speaker 7 That should be a movie, too.

Speaker 1 He also

Speaker 1 produced the trophy.

Speaker 1 and then a couple years after he produced the trophy a guy came forward from a trophy shop in the san fernando valley and was like yeah he bought that from me sounds like he should get his ass kicked also tanaka is the name of a bad guy in a bond movie okay he so he just made up all this stuff they're like they tried to find it tanaka didn't exist i think it happened he they they tried to find all this stuff they there also is like these moments where they found other people who were at this alleged kumite

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 one of them said, Yeah, I was there. I saw Frank Dukes.
He knocked everyone out. It was awesome.
Like, two years later, he was like, Yeah, we had a falling out.

Speaker 1 He just told me to lie about all of that, and none of it happened.

Speaker 7 Listen, I choose to believe Frank Dukes.

Speaker 7 I choose to ignore all the facts.

Speaker 7 I just want to think that this actually happened, and that a guy that looks a lot like Jean-Claude Van Damme took, I don't know, six months off of blowing up oil refineries in Iraq for the CIA to go over there and just beat the shit out of everybody in the world.

Speaker 1 I don't even care about

Speaker 1 like what, like, Bloodsport's an awesome movie. Who cares? I like Frank Duke's The Liar because he just can't stop lying.
He, he, here's a couple other things.

Speaker 1 He doesn't smoke a little bit like Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. We've dealt with someone like this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he sold his Kumite sword in a failed attempt to buy freedom of a boat of orphans whom he later rescued from the pirates. He stopped a plot to assassinate Steven Seagal.

Speaker 1 These are all Frank Duke's what he has said.

Speaker 7 I love that because he's basically saying, like,

Speaker 7 I am so powerful at martial arts that I'm the only one who can defend Steven Seagal. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 that the discrepancies in his martial arts history are the work of fabrications by his rivals.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I read a ton of stories about this guy last night. He fucking rules because he's just so delusional.
Apparently, he got in a fight at a like. karate

Speaker 1 like expo with another karate guy and he got his ass kicked. And then after he got his ass kicked, like many people saw it happen.

Speaker 1 People were like, like yeah frank dukes got his ass kicked he's like well that guy had brass knuckles and he sucker punched me yeah it's dirty and everyone was like well no we saw it and that's not what happened and he confiscated the tape like lebron getting dunked on at his own camp it's awesome he just he keeps lying about everything everything is made up he's uh yeah frank dukes i mean a canadian hero he's from canada but still Canadian-American hero.

Speaker 7 So he's from Canada, served in the United States military. He moves.
Imagine how dumb those Somali pirates are to

Speaker 7 kidnap somebody and then to make the ransom phone call to the most dangerous person on earth.

Speaker 1 Yes, on earth. Yeah.
Literally on bad move. Yeah, so I give Blood Sport five balls.
I love this movie. I'll always love this movie.

Speaker 1 I do want to see the remake where they just figure out all Frank Dukes' lies and do like a making of Blood Sport. We should get him on the show and then make a story.

Speaker 1 I mean, clearly there's a business model for like

Speaker 1 listening to his stories as truth and then making a movie about him. Yeah.
Like who cares? It's a moment. You're right.
He's got a great imagination. Yeah, right.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I listened to an interview that he did,

Speaker 1 and he just, he's great. He's kind of got a little liver king in him where you ask him a question and he just like answers a completely different question.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, that's the point.

Speaker 7 So he says that Tanaka brought him to Masuda, Japan, when he was 16 years old to get trained as a ninja. We haven't had enough movies about ninjas recently.
I know. Nobody does ninjas anymore.

Speaker 7 Three ninjas?

Speaker 1 Great movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a five out of five for me. Five balls.
I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was saying it earlier.
I did procrastinate watching a little bit. It was a little bit late.

Speaker 1 And if there was an option to do it on one, one and a half or one and a quarter speed, I probably would have done it. But there wasn't.
And I really enjoyed it. I ended up being very happy.

Speaker 1 I was laughing.

Speaker 1 I thought the lady, you know, whose job it is to expose how heinous this event is, when he was blind and jumping around, she was laughing, having the time of her life. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, she went from, this is a heinous event that I need to expose and blow up to rooting for John

Speaker 1 Van Dam and laughed. Yeah.
Like having a good time. That's blood sport.
And

Speaker 1 the four spin kicks in a row. Incredible.
That was excessive. What a move.
That was excessive. What a move.
You can kick three, but you can't do it.

Speaker 1 How can you draw power?

Speaker 1 Like four in a row.

Speaker 1 Did you see him training?

Speaker 1 When Tanaka had him in just the torture chamber with ropes?

Speaker 1 That Princess Bride, like, that was just a... I don't know when Princess Bride came out, but

Speaker 1 that was a thing of that time. Yeah.
Because that was the same machine. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You know what? Just a stretcher.

Speaker 1 And Braveheart.

Speaker 7 That's good about Max is on Max, you can watch it while you're doing other things on your phone, too. Yeah.
And this is the perfect movie to watch in the background of anything else.

Speaker 1 So, so good. Also, shout out Frank Dukes because I did forget to mention that he is much like Lenny Dykstra.
320 wins and one loss.

Speaker 1 And then he actually corrected it in an interview like 10 years after saying it was actually 329 wins, zero losses.

Speaker 7 How did that one loss get out there in the first place?

Speaker 1 Well, he said it.

Speaker 1 He said his record was 321 wins. He missed one loss and seven draws, where it's like similar to Lenny Dykes.
You're like, hey, if you throw in the one loss, people got to believe it.

Speaker 7 He definitely misspoke.

Speaker 1 And then he just changed his record to actually 329 and zero. Also, we're just a Forrest Whitaker podcast.
Yeah, Stuart Robin. Forrest Whitaker, just great.
Him falling into the water.

Speaker 1 Also, them, again,

Speaker 1 them and the fucking journalists, like, their whole mission was to stop this thing. They got to the event and were like, you know what? We can't.
He doesn't understand Blood Sport.

Speaker 1 He doesn't understand Blood Sport. Why didn't they try to see? He doesn't.
Because it's Blood Sport. You can't stop Blood Sport.
They showed up. It's the greatest thing.

Speaker 1 Their whole job was to fly to this fucking event to stop him from fighting. They get to the fight and they sit front row and are like cheering him off.
Yeah, because

Speaker 7 you get caught up in the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I don't think he doesn't get it.

Speaker 7 Do you think the journalist was going to stop blood sport with what? An article that was going to come out four months later because it's 1988?

Speaker 1 I just thought it was funny she was laughing. Like it was like, you're supposed to have this stance of like, you just watched a guy die.
Yeah. And then she's sitting there, like, oh, he's blind.

Speaker 1 Ha ha ha. This guy just snapped a guy's neck 20 minutes ago.
You know what they're signing up for?

Speaker 1 I guess. Hank shows up to Bloodsport and someone's got a runny nose.
He's like, stop the fight.

Speaker 7 I don't think he's got a concussion. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, we got to protect him.

Speaker 1 He was a favorite in the fight.

Speaker 1 Oh, Chung Li. We got to put him in protocol.
Yeah, Chung Li was a big time fan. PFT would have made an investment in Chung Li.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 It was probably minus 2,000.

Speaker 1 I mean, he killed two guys, Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Max, you hated it.

Speaker 8 No, it was fine. It was just.
Ah, he hated it.

Speaker 1 He told me he hated it.

Speaker 8 It's just one of those movies that you have it on and you're on your phone and you're and

Speaker 8 you lose the plot.

Speaker 1 You lose the plot. The plot is the plot.
The worst, Max. There is no plot.

Speaker 7 Three men fight each other. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, I mean, you know the plot, but it's like

Speaker 8 you're not paying attention. I mean, it is, in that sense, it was like, all right, I can look up, watch them fighting.
I do love, I kept saying it, I love Ogre from Revenge of Revenge of the Air.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, Ray Jackson.

Speaker 7 He does look like, yeah, he's better off as a man. Ben Rothensberger mixed with mankind.

Speaker 1 He's great.

Speaker 8 He goes up,

Speaker 8 just a ridiculous move. He goes up to that girl, that girl on the bus.

Speaker 4 He's like, you ever been with a big man before?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I actually think if this movie is more realistic, he would win. He was so much bigger than that.
Just smashing everything.

Speaker 1 Well, he celebrated too early.

Speaker 1 And then Chung Lee did, too. Chung Li did a little celebration for him.
Again, foreshadowing. They make sure they get that.

Speaker 7 If If we did Bloodsport today, if the Saudis put together a big investment, said we're going to do the last one to live tour, and we're going to bring people across the globe to compete,

Speaker 7 I still think Steven Seagal might win.

Speaker 1 Yeah, agreed. Or Jean-Claude.

Speaker 7 To this day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Arnold. Frank Dukes.
Well, actually, real Frank Dukes.

Speaker 7 That's true. I mean, he would...

Speaker 1 He's never lost. He would say that he won.
He's never lost. I love that they found the trophy.
It was just a random trophy shop. It's just like, hey, here it is.

Speaker 7 Guy Guy rules. He's kind of a legend, actually.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 In a different

Speaker 1 reason than what, like, he's a legend because he lied about all this stuff and they made a fucking movie about it.

Speaker 7 Big cat, what if everything he said was true and you're just buying into the fake news media? It's true.

Speaker 7 No, like there are people out to discredit him because the CIA, if they created a super soldier like that, they could not acknowledge it. That's true.

Speaker 7 We don't want our enemies to know that we've got a dozen Frank Dukes that are stationed in Fort Bragg right now. Yeah.
Ready to be deployed at the drop of a hat.

Speaker 1 They had

Speaker 1 produced a picture of his medals and stuff, and

Speaker 1 the army was like, you're a Marine. You claim to be a Marine.
So he said he had a Medal of Honor. He had a Medal of Honor from the Army, and all of his awards were out of order.

Speaker 1 So he was like, well, I don't know why they put it that way. And then like a couple of years later, he's like, well, it was a costume I was wearing.
Like it was a Halloween costume.

Speaker 1 It wasn't my actual.

Speaker 7 I was actually putting on a Halloween costume of a soldier who's less decorated than I am in real life.

Speaker 7 So I didn't know how to put on all those inferior awards.

Speaker 1 He just keeps putting up shots. Yeah.
It's crazy. Frank Dukes, come on the podcast.
We'll just ask him all the questions. See how crazy you can be.

Speaker 1 All right. So let's do Firefest.
Max.com. Go check out Max.com.

Speaker 1 Awesome. Awesome movie.
Go watch.

Speaker 1 What are we doing next week? We're doing 38 at the Garden, right?

Speaker 7 Jeremy Lynn, Lynn Sanity. Sports.
Sports. Bloodsports.

Speaker 7 I had an idea.

Speaker 7 What if we did Blood Sport, but at a rough and rowdy?

Speaker 7 It was was an international rough and rowdy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Like the bat, find the baddest human on the planet. I'm down.

Speaker 1 That's why they call it Blood Sport. Yeah.
Well, you still don't understand. No, I literally wrote in my notes: light bulb went off.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you still don't get it. That's why they call it Blackstone.

Speaker 1 You do not get it.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do Firefest. Go check out Max.com.
Yeah, 38 at the Garden next week. Review on Friday's show.
Very excited. Jeremy Lynn.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, Firefest.

Speaker 1 Last night, late, I went to I went to a driving range

Speaker 1 and it's like 25 minutes away from me I've I've gone enough that I've memorized the route I don't even need the directions and on the way back the road to get on to

Speaker 1 you know the highway I needed to get on was closed for construction so it took me took me on a detour I pulled out my phone put in

Speaker 1 and then I didn't even look at it I was you know I just clicked it was listening to Google directions said it was 30 minutes away I was like that makes sense

Speaker 1 Drove 30 minutes. It took me to the same address in like deep in New Jersey, like a different town.
I hate when that happens.

Speaker 1 And it was because I was on a detour, so I wasn't, you know, I didn't really know that I wasn't going the right way. I was just kind of usually don't go this way, follow directions, don't look up.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 I was getting close. It was like a five minutes away.
I was like, I don't feel like I know where I am at all.

Speaker 1 And then I looked it up and I was a solid 50 minutes away from my destination, which is in total, like 20 minutes away.

Speaker 7 Have Have you guys ever done that in an Uber? Yeah. But you're so ashamed that as you're getting closer to the show.

Speaker 1 I was talked about on this show once.

Speaker 7 Don't say anything. I've done that actually in New Jersey before.
I was going someplace, and then I realized when I was maybe five minutes away, I'm 40 minutes away from where I need to be.

Speaker 7 And I was just so ashamed that I was like, okay, yeah, this is it. You can let me out here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I started going over the Brooklyn Bridge once, and I was like, well, I was going to Manhattan. Yeah.
Like, this is not correct. You feel like such an idiot.
You can't say anything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't. That's

Speaker 1 pride. Yeah.

Speaker 7 that was just a long long detour yeah okay pft uh my fire fest of the week is that i forgot about darts yeah i forgot about darts darts is this weekend i've got tickets to it so i'm gonna go with the boys to go see darts at msg gonna be incredible but what's the fire fest well the big fire fest hank is that when it's darts time when it's darts weekend all the boys get dressed up to go to darts you put on an awesome costume you wear a track suit i feel like your day-to-day outfits like kind of are the brand I'm dead serious.

Speaker 1 I'm dead serious.

Speaker 1 You're wearing black, blue, and red.

Speaker 7 No, I'm not. I'm wearing dark blue roback pants.
They're a great sponsor.

Speaker 1 I'm wearing mountains of blue. Those are dark blue? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Those look black. Get your eyes fixed, Hank.
These are dark blue.

Speaker 1 No, those are not. They might be dark blue.
Okay, so, all right.

Speaker 7 So even if they are black, then I'm wearing black and blue, which is totally normal.

Speaker 1 And red?

Speaker 7 But I was supposed to wear...

Speaker 1 Orange shoes.

Speaker 1 All right, cut it off. I'm just saying.
What are you doing here? PFT, I have something for you, though, because I was going to go to darts, but I realized I just can't.

Speaker 1 Max also is not going to darts, which sucks. What? He let everyone down, yeah.
Why not?

Speaker 1 How is Max not going to Darts?

Speaker 8 I don't know how this is coming up on this show.

Speaker 1 He said he's going to Darts.

Speaker 8 I've been defending myself for the past 24 hours.

Speaker 7 I've had this planned for the last six months that I'm going to darts.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 8 You're going to take my spot. I'm willing to hand over the title as Dart Father to you.

Speaker 1 No, I already bought.

Speaker 7 You're not giving me the spot. I bought my own ticket.

Speaker 8 I know, but I'm giving you Dart Father the title of Dart Father.

Speaker 7 Did you buy a ticket, Max?

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm not going. Why not?

Speaker 8 Because it's a long time.

Speaker 1 He doesn't like Darts anymore. You don't like Dart Father.
That's true.

Speaker 7 You're not a needlehead.

Speaker 8 I'm moving this weekend.

Speaker 1 I thought you moved on Wednesday.

Speaker 8 No, but I have all of the things.

Speaker 1 He's living out of his car, right?

Speaker 8 I'm living out of my car right now, and I need, I'm paying so much money for my car to be in this city.

Speaker 8 I need to take all of the things that are in my car, drop it off at my parents, and we're recording late tomorrow, or we have an interview late tomorrow.

Speaker 8 I'm not going to get down to like 10, and I don't feel like waiting for it.

Speaker 7 These are a lot of words to say we don't like darts.

Speaker 1 Either way, Max is a pussy. He doesn't like darts anymore.
PFD,

Speaker 1 I'm going to go to darts, but I really can't.

Speaker 1 But I did buy a shirt that you can wear. It's a double XL.
Yeah. And it says, it's got two dart boards where the breasts are.
And it says, stop looking at my boards.

Speaker 1 It doesn't even make sense like a pun or anything. I like that.
Boards mean, no one says boards for tits, but it's great.

Speaker 7 I might, you know what I've got in the office right now?

Speaker 1 I'd like you to wear that shirt. I've got,

Speaker 7 I might wear two shirts because I've got the one that says I got my ass eaten at the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid in Memphis, Tennessee. That's not darts.

Speaker 7 That's a pretty good, that's a pretty good shirt, though. But you got to wear a darts shirt.

Speaker 1 You can have my darts shirt. Yeah.
It's going to look great.

Speaker 7 So you guys aren't going? No one in this room's going?

Speaker 1 I just don't think I can.

Speaker 1 I have a wedding.

Speaker 7 You're going to miss darts for a wedding?

Speaker 1 I may still go, but

Speaker 1 I can chance I probably. I've got an extra ticket.
Last year when I went, I put in that future thinking it was the day of, and it cashed eight months later. So you won money.

Speaker 7 Can you give me a pick for darts?

Speaker 1 Van Goerner Smith.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Yeah, I'm going to Michael Smith.

Speaker 1 Might be Michael Van Gerren. Yeah, Max.
What about pants? Those are going to wear darts.

Speaker 7 For darts, pants. You got to have fire darts pants.
Yeah. Hank, do you have those pants that make you look like a

Speaker 7 cartoon train engineer?

Speaker 1 I actually got rid of those.

Speaker 1 I should have given them to you. Max, did your pants make the move?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
The pants are already in storage.

Speaker 7 If I give you a pair of pants that I brought, you can puke on them real quick, and then I'll just wear those.

Speaker 8 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 8 I never puked on the pants.

Speaker 7 That's actually true.

Speaker 1 Vague.

Speaker 7 You puked into the water bottle and settled the water bottle.

Speaker 1 It's a little bit of my share.

Speaker 7 Okay, that's fair. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 All right, my firefest, pretty simple. I ate 20 pieces of bread yesterday, and I have felt full for 24 hours.

Speaker 7 Carbon for darts.

Speaker 1 Also, there was a video of me, and I look comically fat, and Booger's bullying me again. I'm just going to go on a Zempic.
I don't fucking care. I'm going to do it.
Is that the shot?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to do it. And I'm going to tell everyone I'm going to do it.
And And then I'm gonna look hot. And then I'll get off of it.
And then I'll gain it all back.

Speaker 7 What does it matter? You could cool sculpt. I could cool sculpt.
Shave that in some abs.

Speaker 1 I mean, Charles Barkley's doing the major or whatever. He's getting skinny as fuck.
Booger's quote was: You don't look fat, my brother. You are fat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Make sure you correct those who say the wrong thing. It's angles, though.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's angles. Oh, no.
There was also the problem. Someone was like, I've never seen someone look.
This video is insane. They're like, I've never seen someone look fat in a black t-shirt.

Speaker 1 No, this video isn't fat. It's really good.
What about the Spanks? I wasn't wearing Spanks because I had to eat the bread. This looks like...

Speaker 1 You're wearing one of those skin-tight, like, under armor shirts, but it's not. It's so bad.
My belly was so far. I couldn't suck in my belly because I had so much bread in it.

Speaker 1 And then my tits and everything.

Speaker 1 Shut up, man. It looks like you're wearing a one-shirt.
I know.

Speaker 1 I didn't see this video.

Speaker 1 I saw Booger's quote, but yeah, it looks like

Speaker 1 you're going surfing.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, we got it. We got the picture.
Guy who doesn't understand Blood Sport.

Speaker 1 No, that's why they call it Blood Sport. No, you don't know why it's called blood sport.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 I think I'm going to do Ozepic. Do it.

Speaker 7 What if you get too skinny, though?

Speaker 7 You can't do Jonah Hill.

Speaker 1 You can't. No, what I was going to do is I'm going to do Ozepic for like two months, drop like 25 pounds, and then just slowly gain it back.

Speaker 1 Okay. Because then it doesn't feel,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 7 be skinny for the summer, and then football season, all bets are on.

Speaker 1 Right, but I'll always get fat again, but just I need... My problem is I am incapable of getting skinny again, so I need to help.

Speaker 7 I'm going to say something nice about Chicago. People there aren't as big as I thought they'd be.
But the thing is, like across the board, they're like 5% bigger. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Which is healthy because in New York, everyone's 15% too small. Yeah, they're chic.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 the models in New York, it's gross. People not jaywalk in Chicago? Yeah, they do.
Okay. Why? Because you know, sometimes in New York, it's common.
Well, New York is like, there is no.

Speaker 1 Right, like when the car is not coming, people cross the street. I did that in Chicago.

Speaker 1 No one followed me, and the people on the other side where I was walking towards were giving me a look, and I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think people might not jaywalk in front of you. I think New York is just like Boston, too.
If you go to Williamsburg, like people don't even recognize cars.

Speaker 1 They just walk in front of your car while you're driving.

Speaker 7 You run into that one person at every crosswalk that you step out a little bit into the street while you still have the don't walk sign and somebody goes out like two yards further than you and stands and waits like in the middle of traffic yes for the light to change.

Speaker 1 I actually had a very jaywalking city in America.

Speaker 1 An extra fire fest i was went to the central park zoo with my kids on saturday and we were leaving and uh my son like stepped a little bit into the street and i yelled at him very forcefully like get back on the sidewalk and there was a ups delivery woman standing next to him and she looked at she was like what did you just say to me i was like wait that wasn't for you she thought i was yelling at her when you when you started that off with i went to the zoo and my young son got too close and i thought we were gonna have another harambe situation no central park zoo all the fucking animals are asleep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was terrible. They were all fucking asleep.
What were you listening to, Max? Something about darts sucking?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I just got tagged in a clip.

Speaker 8 I'm getting

Speaker 8 shots from all directions about not going to dart father.

Speaker 6 Can I be?

Speaker 8 There's another show that's talking to me about me not going to dart.

Speaker 7 Can I be the temporary dart father?

Speaker 8 I just said I want you to have the title of the dart father.

Speaker 7 What's involved in being dart father? You just have to walk.

Speaker 1 You have to walk.

Speaker 1 What's a temporary dart?

Speaker 1 You can't just give it up and come back.

Speaker 1 Okay, so no, I'm not taking it back. I'm doing a big march.

Speaker 7 Like the Bushwhackers. Like Bushwhacker, like the guy from Ohio State that leads the band out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yes.

Speaker 8 And you have to say, I'm very fired up for darts.

Speaker 8 And then you just have to start a chant going in to the stadium just saying darts. So

Speaker 1 darts, darts, darts, darts. And then whoever you bet on has to finish

Speaker 1 second in the championship match.

Speaker 8 Well, that would have to be Hank passing over that torch. Oh, true.
Oh, wait, no, no, no, no. Wait, not second.
Hank betting on something that took a year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. How you hit it?

Speaker 8 But it hit. But it's still...

Speaker 1 So you have to go and make a winning bet.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'll go make a winning bet. Max, I have one more dart-related question for you because you seem to be an expert on it.

Speaker 1 180.

Speaker 7 How drunk should I be going to dart? Too drunk. Too drunk.

Speaker 8 If you think you're too drunk, you need to be more.

Speaker 7 If I think I'm too drunk, I'm not drunk enough to.

Speaker 1 That's correct. Okay.
That is correct.

Speaker 1 I'll drink my way to the bottom.

Speaker 1 Although I'm a little worried.

Speaker 8 It's turned into a whole thing. This year it's going to be.

Speaker 1 There's going to be cameras everywhere. It's gotten too much.

Speaker 8 It's too mainstream for me. That's also a good thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. That's why we're not going to.
You liked darts before everyone else liked darts.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and now you're just hopping on the bandwagon.

Speaker 1 But you're still the dart father.

Speaker 7 Well, I bought tickets last year. I couldn't go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Great show.
See everyone Monday.

Speaker 1 Numbers,

Speaker 1 69.

Speaker 1 18. Billy was so mad.

Speaker 7 That's the thing about Billy is he genuinely gets angry. Yeah.
If somebody takes his little sex joke ball.

Speaker 1 Right. It's crazy.
We We got to start doing that all the time. We got to take it every time because it's, it's, he was like pre-raging in the studio, like, because

Speaker 1 it's crazy. I'm 69.

Speaker 1 What did you take? I took 18 for Jake.

Speaker 8 Max? 20.

Speaker 1 49.

Speaker 1 That would have been awesome. All right, everyone, have a great weekend.
We'll see you on Monday.

Speaker 7 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 All bears are fucking hairy and cool.

Speaker 1 A shark is never

Speaker 1 talking away.

Speaker 1 So I'll be coming for your love of day. For your love of day.
for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Make

Speaker 1 me young

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 after

Speaker 1 needless to say,

Speaker 1 I'm all the same,

Speaker 1 but be stoned away.

Speaker 1 But the land

Speaker 1 is okay,

Speaker 1 say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to say, good sorry, to be safe, good sorry, to be safe, good sorry.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone,

Speaker 1 turn

Speaker 1 Dreams that you say

Speaker 1 little eyeballs, just to play my words away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've stopped to remember. When you're shy and away,

Speaker 1 I'll be killing for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 to the bed