SCF With Ryan Whitney, Paul Rabil In Studio, Nuggets Take G1, BloodSport Movie Review and Fyre Fest

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On today's part in my take, we have a twofer for the people. We have Ryan Whitney previewing the Stanley Cup final, talking a little hockey.
And then we have our good friend Paul Rabel in studio. PLL is back.
We we went to the negotiating table with him maybe some rule changes for lacrosse coming up maybe a big interview that he promised us uh we're going to talk nba finals game one we are going to do a review of blood sport the greatest movie ever that max didn't like uh very excited for that we i think we nailed our first movie review. We've done them before, but that was our first official movie review.
Next week, we're going to do 38 at the Garden, so go check that out. And we have Fyre Fest of the Week.
And by the way, Bloodsport. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Okay, let's go.

Boy!

Boy!

Now in the street there is violence

And then a lot of work can be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't blame all on the sun

Thank you. Lots of work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in. And then I can't blame all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take.
Today is Friday, June 2nd, and it's Nuggets in 4. Nuggets in 4.5.
The Denver Nuggets. It was closer than it looked, final score-wise, 104-93, but they had control of this game from the first tip.
I think we kind of expected it, though. The Heat obviously coming off a seven-game series, going straight from Boston to high altitude, probably not the best setup for a team to face a team that's been resting for like a week and a half, but that was bad news for the Heat.
So it's interesting you brought up the altitude, Big Cat, because the Heat stunk at shooting tonight. They had a bad performance, Max Struess 0 for 9.
0 for 9 from 3, 0 for 10, and Caleb Martin was also 1 for 7. Yeah.
And Duncan Robinson 1 for 6. Basically, everyone who was good against the Celtics turned into a pumpkin against the Nuggets.
So I went deep.

I went knuckles deep in some research studies, Billy football style. I dug deep into some actual journalistic papers here.

Okay.

There's a report or a study that was done by Harvard University.

Ever heard of it?

They compared how visiting players shoot free throws from and away at Denver.

And outside the Pepsi Center, they shoot 76%. At high elevation, they shoot 74.5%, which is a big difference in free throw percentage.
Now you look at a three-point shot. I have to imagine that if you're the Heat coming from sea level, ball flies a little bit further.
Max Troos missed a lot of shots off the back iron. I give the MVP so far to air.
Yeah, to air, not just a movie. It's funny you bring up free throws because the Heat actually were 100% from the free throw line.
Two for two. Yeah.
Two for two. The lowest amount of free throws attempted in an NBA Finals game.
It was just bad news for the Heat. I still think the Heat are going to be heard from in this series.
I don't actually think Nug's in four. But the fact that Jokic had a triple-double and it was the most casual triple-double, there was a moment, I think, maybe start of the fourth where he had five or six field goal attempts.
He finished eight for 12. He didn't even have to shoot and the Nuggets were able to dominate that game.
And Jamal Murray continues his stretch of being like the best. Is he the best Robin going right now? He's definitely, if he was on a team with anybody except for Jokic, everybody would talk about him being the finals MVP.
Yeah. Because he's awesome.
What do you have? He had six rebounds. I know he had 10 assists.
Yeah, that sucked. That was bad.
I bet on him not to get a triple-double. Or double-double.
It's whatever. But I do also have a bet on him to win finals MVP, just in case case he goes off a couple games at plus a thousand but uh he is the best robin he's the best i would say that they have the best one two three in the nba right now yeah the four out of five starters in double digits it's like this is what the nuggets have been all playoffs especially at home yet to lose a game at home in the playoffs and it's not just yokage everyone else is chipping in it's what we've seen like when we talked to mike malone uh last week or this week sorry my weeks are all fucked up because isn't that crazy just a side tangent you get one day off and you just lose concept of time yeah i memorial day fucks me up every year i was preparing for hot seat cool throne today yeah it's just like it happens, and I just don't know what day it is for the entire week.

Yeah, one three-day weekend screws us up.

That's why Hank is always gone from this joke.

He's always yawning.

Yeah.

Oh, wait, Hank, what do you think about that?

That was a pretty good Hank impression.

That was Max.

Good job, Max.

Yeah, no, but the—

Thanks for being here, Max.

The crazy thing about the Nuggets is like Jokic has always been this good, or at least for the last four or five years. It's the fact that everyone around him has been either injured or not great, and now everyone around him is healthy and great.
And so Jokic is still doing the same thing. Like, he's been this dominant and this great for an extended period of time, but now he has a full team around him and they're seemingly unstoppable.
I would say that watching a big man that can pass like Jokic is maybe my favorite thing in all of sports to watch. Yeah.
I'm thinking through every single league, a quarterback with just a cannon arm. That's fun to watch.
A running, a great kick returner like Dante Hall, Devin Hester. Yeah.
Those guys. But I actually think that watching a big man that is just throwing no-look passes over his head from the post, down low.
I think that's my favorite thing in all sports to see. We might have to maybe put this on the Mount Rushmore list.
A lefty home run. Lefty home run is good.
Lefty home run is sweet. You like Mo Vaughn? Schwarber.
I mean, just Schwarber home runs are the best. Yeah, but I mean.
Griffey. A big, chunky dude that has sick no-look passes.
That's got to be number one for me. Yeah, no, it's very high up there.
So we were watching the game. An outfielder with a cannon for an arm.
That's like a guy who can throw from right field to third with no bounce. That's pretty fucking sick.
Vladimir Guerrero, Puig for a couple years. I'll just watch those and just be like, holy fuck.
Those are fun to watch. We were talking to Ibo, who works here at Barstool, and he was telling me that Jokic was an awesome water polo player.
Believe it. And it makes a ton of sense when you watch his passing.
He passes like a water polo guy. And given his love of horses, he's probably the best two polo sport player in the world.
I'd agree. And basketball player.
And the best basketball player in the world. It does feel, and again, this is obviously just after game one, so we will overreact a little bit.
But it feels like this is the crowning of Jokic as the best player in the entire world. In the universe.
Universe, universe. He's universally the best basketball player.
He's the universal MVP. Yeah.
Not just limited to the United States. Now, I did have a question for Hank.
I'll field it for him. Well, no, we have Celtics fan Hank sitting right there.
He did have a tweet that said that he was depressed about how the series against the Heat ended and that he was convinced that the Celtics would have beaten the Nuggets in five. Yeah, I mean, it is all about matchups in the NBA.
The Celtics are probably the best team in the NBA, if you really look at it position by position, player by player. You know, we ran into a Heat team that was getting frisky at the right time, but we're still a better team.
We're a better team than Nuggets. We're a better team than everyone.
If that was a nine-game series, you guys win that. Hell yeah.
You go on paper, you're the champs. You win it in eight.
I mean, that's what. Spot the lie.
Fact or fiction? Fact. Fact or fiction? Fact.
That's a better team than everyone. Thank you, Hank.
Denver's just straight up bigger. They're just bigger boys.
I mean, Aaron Gordon, like his defense and what he adds to that team is crazy because they do have, and Michael Porter Jr.'s tall, like they have just big guys. Yeah, it's funny watching the Heat try to match up against the big guys because they have Bam, who's a big guy asterisk.
He's big guy adjacent. Yeah.
He's got long arms, but he's not super tall.

He's not a true center.

Then they've got Cody Zeller, who looks like he's a flea trying to ride a buffalo

when he's trying to defend Nikola Jokic.

And then after that, they don't really have anybody else.

And the problem that he'd have in this series, who knows?

Maybe they'll start heat culture, will rise back up. I do think that tonight like there was very little chance he could pull off a win tonight Sunday night will be very like they'll they'll throw as much as they have at the Nuggets some adjustments but the heat zone defense which was great against Celtics Jokic was built in a lab to beat his own like you have a big man who can stand at the foul line and can pass everywhere and can also shoot and drift.
Like, he can do everything. You can't.
Like, if the zone collapses on him, he will always find the open player. So, it's going to be interesting to see what Smo comes up with.
Do you think that he – we never made predictions, but I was thinking Nuggets in six. Nuggets in five.
Five? Nuggets in five is what I came to. Five might feel – because when I was thinking six, the problem with six is that would be the Nuggets winning in Miami, where I feel like the Nuggets – yeah, five feels right.
Five – I think that they'll get one Jimmy Butler game. He'll go off for like 45-50.
Game three. Yeah.
Nuggets win game four. Then they close out in game five.
Then they close out at home. This won't age poorly.
Heat culture's dead. We can say Heat culture's dead.
Heat culture's officially dead. Yeah, this will be replayed.
I hope we make the Miami Heat hype tape when they win this series in 6. We're also going to have a completely opposite take on failure when the Heat lose the finals.
This is a great season for the Heat. They won the championship.
Well, I said it during the stream, but there is a small part of me. You know, if you're a sports fan and you're always having to slip and slide through different arguments and try to figure out what your angles are, I wouldn't hate it if Spoh ripped off five or six titles in the next ten years because I absolutely would say that he's the greatest NBA coach of all time and that's why LeBron won those titles yeah so I am there is definitely a part of me that's a big Spoh fan being like go Spoh go win a bunch of titles without LeBron and then I will say that you're the go yeah I mean Phil Jackson he had Michael Jordan okay anybody can Michael Jordan.
Yeah, right. Anybody can win a title with Michael Jordan.
Who did Spoh have? All Spoh needs to do is win, like, what, like, eight more? What did Phil end up with? He ended up with 11? Yeah, 11. That's just a ridiculous amount of rings to have.
We should put more respect on Phil Jackson's name. Spoh needs to win nine more.
If he can win nine more titles, then we could just say he's the greatest, and that's why LeBron won. No, but you can also play this game with Spoh where if the Heat keep getting to the finals with undrafted guys, and even if they don't win, you can just be like, this is a bigger accomplishment, making it this far through the Eastern Conference playoffs, that it was winning six titles with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen on your team.
Yeah, true. Yeah, I mean, this is, let's just say it right now, the best coaching job we've ever seen.
Of all time. This playoff run, win the title or not, best coaching job we've ever seen.
Incredible job. Did you see a stat, by the way, that we missed that we have to call out? Pat Riley has been part of 25% of all NBA finals.
That's insane. That's nuts.
Yeah. That's insane.
I love the shot whenever they show him in the crowd. It's him with Alonzo Mourning.
Yeah. And they're just sitting there looking like gangsters ready to take some people out on the court.
Yeah. Pat Riley is a very underrated basketball guy because he's been behind the scenes for so long that he doesn't really give that many press conferences anymore we don't get to see him in action on the sidelines everybody thought actually for a while that he was calling the shots that he was essentially coaching the team yeah when spo took over and spo was his his like figurehead his puppet um but no pat riley turns out just he is he he called he is, so 19 NBA Finals for him.

Three as a player, 10 as a coach, six as an executive.

That's 25% of NBA Finals in league history.

That's insane.

Yeah, and it also is, not to bring up a bad thing for Knicks fans,

it's a great what if.

Because Pat Riley obviously leaves New York.

What if he went upstairs in New York?

Obviously, James Dolan is

the biggest issue there but like

he is the culture

and he went to Heat

and made that culture

they're going to get one at least

I'm still confident Nug's in five

oh they're talking about Spoh's going to get ten more

ten more titles

greatest coach of all time

not even close

I like squatting on that take just to protect

this comes purely out of defending Michael Jordan. I mean, exactly.
And LeBron James, if you hit him with true serum, he'd be like, I barely knew how to play basketball before I met Spoh. I think we can all agree on that.
What did he win in college? Think about it this way. Michael Jordan in college got shut down by Dan Dock yes then in the nba rattles off six yeah also won a title in college i'm overlooking that yeah yeah um all right one other thing before we get to our interviews uh adam silver just teasing us all with john moran wild wild uh tease where he said he uh they they released a statement saying we've uncovered a fair amount of additional information we probably could have brought it to a head by now but we made the decision that it would be unfair to these players and these teams to announce that decision in the middle of this series so he's announcing that there is a decision but it won't be announced yet a fair amount of information how many more more handguns there's more instagram stories and guns yes he's got he's i would actually imagine that he probably like got put on to just like a hype tape of john morant with guns well so would it be worse if it was multiple guns i think it'd be way worse if if he just had one gun that he really loved that he couldn't give up it's like his bink yeah you get that it's emotional support gun exactly like that's totally understandable if you have a different gun like people have different hats yeah that they take out they like look at themselves in the mirror now i'm gonna take the 45 today yeah today feels that's more like a 50 cal but this is like so he's not we don't want to take away from the nba finals but we're going to announce that something severe is going to happen after the NBA finals.
So please just don't talk about it during the NBA finals, even though it's very vague right now and leaves it open to interpretation where everyone can talk about it for the next two weeks. I know what this is.
This is the NBA promoting Oppenheimer. John Morant is going to be an Oppenheimer building an atomic bomb.
He's in the movie. Yeah.
That'd be great if John Mort was in the background with his gun. Yeah.
No, with the bomb. Yeah.
He's on the plane. He's going live on the Enola Gay.
And he wasn't actually cast in the movie. He just happened to be where they were filming.
Yeah, he's like, I brought my bomb. Yeah.
Oh, I heard you guys had a bomb movie. Let me go to my car real quick.
I do think the NBA Finals is very similar to Oppenheimer. We both know how it's going to end the history has already been written the Nuggets will win I will retire from this podcast no don't do that at some point that was scary my life flashed before my eyes I will retire how quick do you think Billy would be like, oh, actually, I can move to Chicago? He's already got this clip right now.
Weird. Now I'm ready to go.
Pags are packed. I'll tell you what.
I will not retire, no matter what you guys say, but I will give up all my integrity. I will relinquish my integrity as a sports journalist.
That's fair. As a dean of the Medeal School of Journalism.
I will give that all up. You won't know ball.
Yeah, I won't know ball. Officially, ball not knower if the Nuggets don't win.
Okay. Hold me to it.
Accountability. Oh, I will.
Anytime you say anything, I'm just like, but you don't know ball. I'll get a ball removed.
Oh, okay. I'll get a ball removed cosmetically.
Yeah. Yeah.
You'll get a testicle removed. Yep.
Okay. That's a really dumb bet.
It's not a bet. It's just a fact.
With yourself. Yeah, yeah, with yourself.
I shouldn't have said that. No, definitely not.
You get carried away sometimes on this show. There's something about what happens.
You sit down in the studio and you say stuff and then you instantly regret it.

And then Big Cat tells you, wait, be careful, don't say that.

And then you're like, okay, good point, Big Cat.

And then you catch your breath and you say something dumber.

Yeah.

Yeah, it makes the tattoo bet kind of pale in comparison now.

That tattoo bet's going to be electric.

Maybe I'll get a tattoo of just one ball.

No, you know what you should do?

All right, let's clean this up.

You're not going to get a testicle removed.

If the Heat do win this series, you have to get a tattoo of a basketball and then get it removed. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'll get a ball removed. That's fair.
That's totally fair. It's the pain of just getting a tattoo for like one week and then immediately getting it removed.
I got to let it set in for a while. I got to show it off.
Yeah, yeah. If I get the ball on my bicep, I got to get the underneath it too it's always a winning combo we should actually get all of the balls and puck on our like somewhere on our body and then when you fuck up with a take you gotta take one of the balls that's a great idea where we're just everyone who's on pardon my take has to have the same tattoo just a soccer soccer ball.
And we see who the smartest is by the end. Yeah, basketball, football, baseball.
We'll throw in tennis. Fuck it.
I'll have that removed like in two seconds. Actually, no, I know the most about tennis.
Djokovic is the GOAT, and I've been right all along. Yeah, there's so many balls out there you could get.
Yeah. Rugby ball.
Billiards. Ooh, you'd have to get all of them.
Yeah, we'd have to. You'd have to collect all the balls.
All the billiards ball. Bocce.
Bowling ball. Bowling ball.
Yeah. I think you have to earn the balls.
And then you have the right to remove. Yeah.
The Buckeye stickers. Yeah.
Or like a general. Yeah.
Okay. I'm a five ball general.
I'm in. Fuck it.
Just being like the cutest little tattoo on your ankle. We do it ankle, ankle tattoos.
Like what sorority are you in? I got tramp stamps. The balls.
All balls. All right.
I might just get one of my balls tattooed to look like a basketball. That would be cool.
Yeah, it'd be awesome. Just get the lines.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's get to our interviews. We've got two great ones.
We've got Ryan Whitney and Paul Rabel. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
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Okay, we now welcome on. I think we actually found this out with you are our most recurring guest in number one history.
I think so. I think you are officially.
Wow. We have to do the analytics, but you were like second or third four years ago and you come on like three or four times a year,

so you have to have gone past everyone else.

So you're just going on two or three years ago.

I mean, I don't know.

That doesn't sound very analytics to me.

It sounds like you're just guessing, but I'll take it.

I think you're number one.

You might be.

Ever since Titus came on the show and said all those nasty things

and we just stopped inviting him on, you surpassed him.

You just gave him his own show. Yeah, we gave him his own show, so we didn't have to have him on anymore.
All right, so it is Ryan Whitney, our number one recurring guest. We wanted to have him on because we have been talking a lot of basketball, a lot of basketball talk on PMT.
We got to talk some hockey. Sell us on this Stanley Cup final because not us.
We're puck heads. You know that.
But from the average fan outside who maybe isn't the biggest hockey fan, they're like Florida and Vegas. Who the fuck cares? Well, I feel like those people are probably too dumb to get through to at this point.
Like if based on whoever the teams are, you're not even going to watch. I mean, it's kind of hard to get those people's attention and, and, and have them give it a legit chance.
But for any hockey fan that's enjoying watching the highest level playing for the best trophy, that's the hardest to win in sports. You know that these two teams should produce pretty entertaining games and they're both very similar.
The fact that neither one of them has a Stanley cup, I think is kind of exciting, especially with all the teams that we've had kind of run through the past what seems like 10, 15 years with the Penguins, Blackhawks, Kings, et cetera, to win multiple titles. But the hockey is going to be good because they're mean, they're physical, and they're kind of proving that as much as the game's changing throughout the regular season with skill and lack of physicality and sometimes boring regular season games because of maybe not the fights and the things that the fans really did enjoy, the playoffs are still a man's game, for lack of a better term.
It's two teams that basically beat the shit out of whoever they play against. They've just bullied every team they've played against.
Vegas has huge D, so it's old school hockey. It's hard to get to the net.
Florida's got the best American-born player right now in Matthew Kachuk, so that should hopefully get some eyeballs. And Eichel, as well, is just, like, high-level American player.
So those are the two stars for each team. So there's a bunch of great storylines for hockey fans and fringe fans fans but people who are just saying i'm not watching based on i don't really care about these two teams they're they're out of the question yeah it's the stanley cup final it's like you said it's the best trophy in sports for those of us who have been lucky enough to hoist the stanley cup it's a time that you won't forget and something that your entire town won't forget and if you look at the panthers i realize this, but at the end of the season, they almost didn't even get into the playoffs.
They had to have the Pittsburgh Penguins lose on the last day of the regular season for them to sneak in, which is a crazy run. So, yeah, kind of to your point of the regular season doesn't mean as much.
You guys are turning into the NBA, actually. You guys are doing load management in the regular season and just get into the playoffs, and then you can flip the switch.
You don't even have to watch hockey until February. No load management.
The game has changed. The men above, the men in the suits, have changed the game.
There's just a less physical factor, a smaller physical factor to hockey now, which is also a good thing. I mean, like under like smaller players become superstars you're seeing the fastest game the fastest the game's ever been so there's definitely some positive sides to it but for people who like old school hockey the regular season's changed but for just for you to say it's the players doing the load management no no no no no no they're just they're just not the type of players to get in the league anymore, the physical ones.
Listen, I will watch every second of the Stanley Cup final because how can you not? It's the best. But you have to – listen, you are an ambassador of the game.
You've got to understand, if you can change one mind, you've done your job. So, like, pitching this Stanley Cup final is important.
Would you say, though, Witt, these playoffs have not been the best? Because second and third round, sweeps. I know the Stars made a little bit of a series of that, but then got absolutely dump trucked in game six.
Like, it feels like it's out. The first round was exceptional, and then the last two rounds have not maybe been up to fully par for the Stanley Cup playoffs.

No doubt.

And unfortunately, I mean, people always say, and I agree, that the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs are like the best postseason around.

And the first round, like now, the past few years, especially more than ever, have become must-watch TV, must-watch games.

They're out of control.

The action, the game's going seven.

It's crazy.

There's four games a night, it seems like.

Thank you. have become must-watch TV, must-watch games.
They're out of control. The action, the game's going seven.
It's crazy. There's four games a night, it seems like.
But I think guys are just going so hard. And just the first round is such a battle that they're kind of gassed out the second round.
The second round seems to be the worst round a lot. And then the conference finals, it rears back up.
This year was disappointing a sweep on one side you got uh what is it what was it a gentleman it wasn't a sweep we should just sorry rod brendamore said rod brendamore did say it was not a sweep it shows time it wasn't a sweep loser talk but yeah it was it was they weren't the most competitive uh conference finals. But I think that the Cup will be awesome.

I think the Cup, like, Vegas is the favorite,

and I kind of understand why,

but if Bobrovsky's playing like this, like, Sergei Bobrovsky,

who I think Charles Barkley called him Sergei Bobrovsky,

Bobrovsky, something hilarious on TNT.

He's a big hockey guy, though, but if he continues to play like this, I don't know if they can be beat. I don't think they can be beat.
I think he's 11-2 in the playoffs with this insane save percentage and goals against, and he's in one of those zones. That's the one thing I'm worried about for the Panthers is I think if they could have chose once they swept or once they finished the conference finals, they probably would have said, we'll play in two nights.
We'll play the third night. Give us two nights off because of what they had going.
So 10 days off, I think it's the second longest break between conference final and cup final. That could kind of maybe kill what they had going.
I don't think it will, but that's a possibility. Hey, it's Rhea from Tricks in the Office.
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So, wait, you actually, you played in the Stanley Cup in 2008, right? Yes. You were on the Penguins.
Did you guys win? No, we lost, thanks. Okay, what's that like? Because you always hear about the glory afterwards, you know, drinking out of the cup, that whole thing, it's the best trophy, as you said.
When you guys lost the Stanley Cup, what was the mood like after the game in the locker room? I mean, am I supposed to go after this and just get run over by a car too? Like this is just, you're killing me here. But it's very, very emotional.
I just remember in the room, like everyone's just kind of breaking down at different moments and you're just so close to your dream. We at home, too.
We won a triple overtime, maybe double overtime game five. We were down with a minute to go.
Max Talbot tied it up. We won an overtime, double overtime.
And then we're going back. We're like, all right, we got, you know, we got this series.
Let's go. Three, two, going home.
And Detroit put on a clinic. And then just to hear them celebrating.
was it was it was soul crushing I mean it was definitely the worst loss of my career that's including the gold medal game I think just that's a quick tournament and it and that's heartbreaking as well so I've been I've been on some special losers but you just work all year and we ran through the Eastern Conference that year I think we swept Ottawa. We beat the Rangers in five and Philly in five.

I think we had 14 games to get to the cup final.

And then Detroit was still playing Dallas when we were done,

and they ran through them.

And they had a legendary team.

So, you know, they ended up getting them the next year

after Hosea even left Pittsburgh to go to Detroit.

I was gonzo.

That's probably why they won.

They got Chris Kunitz.

But I do remember just being so crushed.

And granted, you know, the next night you're hanging out with the guys

and you're not going it but still appreciate what a great run it was but right the immediate aftermath it's it's it was crushing wait so you had a rest first rust right like you guys were off for I wasn't that bad we didn't because I think they wanted six and we wanted five so it wasn't like this i think it was maybe six days um but i don't think against detroit that year it could have been a quick break or a long break they were just that loaded and ready to win another one and you had a foot injury too so like right after the season's over you were like hey uh maybe it's time for some time off just so you guys know i had a foot injury that whole time yeah yeah i yeah. I just want to be like an NBAer and come out and just let you guys know what I've been struggling with this entire time.
Getting surgery. Now, wait.
So what is it like, though, like six days off when you're on a run like that? It's so fun. And I'm sure it's changed.
But Biz always talks about the guys in L.A. He knows when they won their cups, they were finishing out series early, too.
And we were through the East, as I mentioned, and we were ripping it up. Like, you know, we're having bangers, just unreal nights at the bar.
Everyone's getting after it because you knew, you know, and then you get back in the rink the next day. Maybe you'd skate the next day.
And I just remember, you know, going through that run and and having the break towards the cup final we definitely celebrated after we won the east and then it's just the excitement you're on the ice every day it's June it's like the whole hockey world's watching you there's a hundred reporters at every practice leading up to it and the excitement leading in and then I I'll never forget uh we started in Detroit game one and got out there for warmups.

And the place is like, I don't know, 80 percent full.

The music's rocking. And there is the Stanley Cup final logo in the middle of the ice.

And throughout the playoffs, each series and round feels important.

But that was like on steroids.

It was just the vibe and the energy in the building.

You could feel it like this is different than those other three.

I'll never forget that. And we didn't score.
We didn't score a goal in game one or game two. We got rolled.
Too much rest. Yeah.
We talked about the playoff speed last time you were on the show, about the difference. Is there a difference even between playoff speed and Stanley Cup final speed? Yeah, I think so.
Or maybe it was the fact that Detroit was that good and far and away the best team we'd faced and they were that fast with and without the puck but yeah it was it was a jump up which kind of leads me to like the first round's nuts like i mentioned and then you know the grind of the playoffs second round third round they're a little tired this year wasn't great but then you're always right back fired up like this is now it four games away what's so what's your official we're a golden knights podcast by the way just so i picked i picked florida um which is great for vegas because i haven't picked florida one series i picked every i picked boston i picked toronto i picked carolina but now i'm at the point of like all right something special is going on here and the goaltending and like what could chuck's doing it it's just leading me to think they'll somehow get it done. But I was open on chiclets.
I'm not confident at all. Okay.
All right. So other things we've got to clean up from the playoffs.
Connor McDavid's a bum. Wrong.
Did he win? Is he playing? Is he still playing? Is he on the Knights? He ran into a great Vegas Golden Knights team. He was very adamant that next season, Stanley Cup, or it's a complete failure again.
I'm going to keep backing the best player I've ever seen. So I don't know what you want me to tell you.
He's not a bum. They need some more guys around him.
I want him to get some hardware. I think you said he was the best player in any sport in the world.
Yeah, and he's got zero rings. Zero Stanley Cup finals.
Who's the best player in the NBA? Nikola Jokic. Yeah, he's about to get a title.
Why? I thought he didn't win MVP, did he? Only because he won so many that they got tired of giving it to him. Yeah, he won two the last three years.
Alright, so if he wins it, then you can give him the best athlete in the world. But you guys just troll my McDavid comments and you're always coming after him.
No he's breaking records and he's doing things that haven't been done in about 40 years in the NHL. He's joining the list of Gretzky Lemieux every season.
He's hopping on these lists with them. I don't know what you want me to tell you.
You need 20 guys to win a Stanley Cup. You know what list he should hop on is the one where they engrave it on that big cup.
Hey, if his career ends and he doesn't win a Stanley Cup, I will bow down to you guys as being incorrect in terms of Connor McDavid's greatness, but I'm not jumping off the fence before the guy's 28 years old or whatever he is. He's 27.
Well, I bet on him. I told you I bet on them.
This is a proving year. You bet on everyone.
I'm going to bet on them again next year. I'm very much looking forward to Whitney actually bowing down to us.
That's going to be 26. He's 26.
Okay, so he's getting a little old. Yeah.
When do you hit your prime as a hockey player? I would say it's 25 to 29. Those four years.
So he's one year in. He's got to do it quick because then if he's in his 30s, we'll just say, well, it was other people on the team.
Yeah, he's ring chasing. He was a long time.
Or maybe then he'll get a real team around him as he's a little older, takes a little less money, and then he wins about four. We'll see.
I did. I'll admit we are trolling.
Watching him play hockey is incredible. I mean, can you not at least say? Yeah, it's nuts.
But he still hasn't't won anything. Like I can't give him all the credit until he's a winner, but he is out of this world.
Like it is crazy watching him play. Cause he looks like he's playing a different sport than everyone else on ice.
I was, yeah, that's my point. It's nuts.
And yes, you're right. You got to win a title to be considered the best of all time or one of them, but watching him like night in and night out, he's just it looks like a different league.
It looks like an alien on the ice. Like you think the TV's on fast forward.
He's cutting back, cutting in. He's now he's like leading the league in goals this year.
It's it's I'm not my heart rate's going up. All right.
So, yeah, throwing us in. That will help it.
Oh, I need of those Zin 12s you got from Qatar. Yeah, the nines.
They're powerful. The market over here, it's like people are probably jonesing for nines or twelves.
Nines. If you take one of those, you just start instantly sweating.
I got the hiccups. I get the hiccups when I throw two of those in.
Do you ever get one, a package that must have been mismanaged at the lab and it just cripples you. I'm like, what the hell is that?

You know what I like to do with?

I like to play Zen roulette where I take one of the nines and then I mix it in with a bunch

of threes and then I never know when I'm going to get the nine.

I like that.

I like that.

Yeah.

It keeps you fresh a little bit.

You were talking a second ago about that big Vegas D talk to me about how big their D is.

Oh, funny PFT going with the dick joke. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, we are. We're fans of Alec Martinez.
He's our guy. He's a, he's big D you guys rip on him or something.
And he's no, no, we, we did it. We did a preview of the, of the NHL playoffs and it was maybe 30 seconds long.
And we just said stupid things about each city. Then we found out that he's a listener and he was disappointed that we trashed vegas so we're trying to make it up to him and i have ripped on him because he did score that goal against the blackhawks in 2014 the game seven overtime goal but now that i know that he's a listener we are a golden knights podcast we're that easy well when we talk about the big d in in vegas he's actually i think the smallest one and they're all like you know petro angelo's six three we got mcnab's about six six theodore's six four he's sick i think he's six one like two tenths dylan i i believe he i think he's the all-time record holder of block shots in the nhl like that that could be completely incorrect we're gonna go with that're gonna go with that.
Wait, we just wait. Memes just said

fact-checked it. Yes, correct.
Oh, nice.

Okay, I got one right, but it just

that's kind of what they did. Blockage shots.
They're

hard to play against, so that's the big D

I'm talking about, not where your mind's headed

to the gutter, PFT. I wasn't talking about that.

What about the big P's?

Brooks Koepka's beloved P's.

You guys, boy. Yeah.

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how much that pains you that Brooks is the best golfer in the world.
I shouldn't say it pains me. Like, I'm amazed at how nasty he is at golf.
I just, I feel like you're the guys that he's like, oh, I'll be cool to them. And then he treats people that he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.
They just don't know. They don't know.

But I've always been open and I've never met him.

Right.

So I'm a talking head dogging him when I dog him.

But I've never once said anything about the golf game.

He's an assassin.

It's a joke out there.

So watching Domination, as I talk about McDavid, I enjoy.

It seems to me, without knowing him, he's a little bit of a dickhead. No, but I've said nice things about him, so there you go.
Because he blows you. No.
Yes. We blow him, idiot.
Big difference. Happy pride.
We haven't gotten blown by him yet. That big D.
We're still waiting. Yeah, no, you were so bad.
I didn't even know. I didn't know you had bet him.
Great bet.

Looking back, you'll never sniff that guy again at plus 2,500.

The fact it was bad after what he did at the Masters.

Yeah.

I do want to find out.

He won't share.

I think he wouldn't.

Maybe he would with you guys.

You guys are all butt buddies. But he said he knew exactly what he messed up Sunday at Augusta,

and it'll never happen again, but he won't share it. It's the pace.
No, he was doing it. Did you watch him in the PGA Championship? He was walking extra slow so that no one ahead of him could hold him up.
Because he was bitching after the Masters about how slow guys were playing. And the way he plays, he plays so fast where he just gets up to the ball and hits it.

So he was walking up the fairway in the PGA Championship super deliberate and super slow

so that every time he got to the ball, he was ready to go.

That was what he didn't want to share with the other reporters?

Yeah, well, he didn't even share with us.

I just figured it out because we know him so well.

Yeah, you guys are so tight.

I do, yeah, as a golf nut, it it's insane and how fast he plays is pretty sick um but nobody calls the panthers the peas i'm sorry i i it's jake now called them the peas but and unless people in florida that are doing meth living in the side of a crack house,

call them the P's, I've never heard that in my life.

Jake released a shirt that is very political.

It just says G-O-P-S.

So the G-O-P's.

I think Jake's on this Zoom.

Maybe one of the worst shirts we've ever released.

Go P's.

It's pretty simple.

Hey, Jake, have you ever heard them called that? It's a brooks kapka no okay all right and you're now a lot of people on twitter are calling them that what it spreads a lot of people are calling them that now no i don't big cat as a as kapka's best friend even you. No, he was on one when he said peas.

He was drunk.

I call him the peas now.

No, it was during a PGA press conference.

Yeah, he said, I'm going to go watch the peas.

He asked him how he was going to get his mind right.

He said, I'm going to go home and watch the peas.

No, he said it before.

He was drunk.

He said it before.

That was the second time he called him.

Yeah, he said it during the tournament.

Yeah, no, he was drunk then too.

I'm calling him the peas. If Brooks calls him the peas, I'm going to call him the tournament.
Yeah, no, he was drunk then, too.

I'm calling him the peas.

If Brooks calls me the peas, I'm going to call him the peas.

Be an ice cold, just get buckled.

Yeah, I mean, he came on our show drinking out of the Wanamaker on the show.

It was awesome.

But yeah, the peas, no one says the peas.

You know what?

I do like their rat tradition, though, where they throw the rats onto the ice.

Yeah, I looked it up.

Ariana Grande getting hit by a puck tradition.

Yeah, I like that. You know the story of how the rats began? Yeah, began yeah i was gonna say it but you can probably tell it better than i can uh yeah i mean if you if you looked it up i i i think i have it right but in 96 when they ended up going to their first damn they cut final they got swept by the abs but i think that year there was rats like in their old building or wherever they were and one of the guys on the team actually killed one with a stick and like the story grew so all of a sudden on this playoff run every goal they're chucking rats on the ice they had to basically get rid of the tradition i still think you can't do it after a goal scored maybe they've changed it for maybe they'll change it for the finals there's a legendary picture though patrick wa getting scored on him in the finals for colorado and he just like ducks back into the net as thousands of are coming down.
Yes. No, it's great.
So, yeah, that's pretty much the story. It was Scott Mellenby.
So it was in the locker room, and Mellenby grabbed a stick and hit it with a slap shot against the wall. And then later on that night he scored two goals.
So Van Beesbroek called it a rat trick. And then the next night they started throwing rats on the ice.

It is a cool tradition.

I like that weird shit in NHL, like when they do it in Detroit with the octopi.

I agree.

The octopuses.

Yeah.

It's the best.

I agree.

All right.

I have one last question for you.

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My last question for you is

how long do you think it will take

for Conor Bedard to be better than Conor McDavid?

A year?

Two years?

I don't think he can be. I'm going to say gonna say it well that's what if he wins a cup i mean i i could throw names of guys who want to cut i want to cut like that doesn't necessarily mean you're a better player but yeah oh we're a ring podcast okay okay well i don't know what okay so i still don't think it can happen because looking at how bad the blackhawks are they look horrible but what if conor bedard's that good i i think he's going to be incredible and i think he'll be a future superstar but i think mcdavid's like once every 20 years type guy i mean i i don't see if bedard is better than mcdavid then it's only good for spitting share guts because hockey's going to continue to grow but I don't see if Bedard is better than McDavid, then it's only good for Spitt and Shareguts because hockey is going to continue to grow.
But I don't see it happening. Then McDavid should have to change his first name if Bedard is better.
You think so? Maybe one of them drops an N and just has one N in Connor. Yeah.
Whit, you have to acknowledge that saying that it's not possible to be better than Connor McDavid is wishful thinking on your part. wishful thinking on your part yeah grow the game it's possible when binyana is going to be the best player of all time uh yeah i just think for for what was discussed in terms of mcdavid i mean they've both been talked about since they were like 13 years old in terms of like future upcoming prodigies in the game.
But I just think

McDavid is that good. I think this kid could be incredible.
Maybe right beneath him. I'm just sorry, boys.
I don't agree with you. What do you want me to say? I'll take right beneath him.
That's fine. You are saying that it's impossible to be better at hockey than Conor McDavid.
No, I'm not saying it's impossible. You asked me if he would be better, and I said I don't think so.
I'm not saying someday there won't be somebody better than him, but I don't think it'll be Conor Bedard. I mean, if Kachuk wins a ring or if Alec Martinez wins another ring, he's better than Conor McDavid.
Yeah, Zach Whitecloud. If the Vegas Golden Knights win it, then he's better than McDavid.
I'm with you. I have one last question for you.
You guys, I don't know your schedule for Chicklets. Are you guys going back and forth from Miami to Vegas? So Biz is at every game because TNT has the broadcast for the first time.
They got the finals, which will be great. Their crew does an unreal job.
So he'll be back and forth to every game. I think we'll be at game four in Florida and game three and four in Florida, I believe.
I won't be down there for three and then game five in Vegas. Okay.
Cause I was going to say, if it's, if it's you biz and RA for my liver, you're going, going back and forth between Vegas and Miami. That's like the spit and chiclets Ironman triathlon for you guys.
Yeah. That, I mean, if we see RA after that one, it's a miracle who gets gets eliminated first? The Panthers, the Golden Knights, or R.A.? That's the question.
R.A. for sure.
It's a good question. He ain't making it four games.
No, definitely not. All right, well, Whit, you are the best.
Thank you so much for fitting us in, and we'll talk again soon. All right, appreciate it.
Great coming on, reoccurring guest. Ryan Whitney is brought to you by Coors Light.
That's right. The best beer to drink in the summertime.
The mountains are so blue. I've got a cooler that's filled with Coors Light at my house.
The mountains are bluer than ever. I love Coors Light.
It's the best beer to drink when you're watching a daytime baseball game, too. Out of all the tweets that we get with pictures of people at the ballpark the ones that have blue mountains at uh major league baseball games during day games those are the best mountains i've ever seen that's the best beer in the world you know the mountains on the bottles in the cans even turn blue when your beer is cold when you're making time to chill crack open a coors light it's mountain cold refreshment it's made to chill when you choose to chill pair your plans with an ice cold Coors Light get Coors Light delivered straight to your door Drizzly Instacart or by going to Coors Light dot com slash take celebrate responsibly Coors Brewing Company Golden Colorado and now here's Paul Rabel and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on our very good friend five maybe like five or six time recurring guest it is paul rabel it is time for pll season five that's right which is crazy we're in season five hey paul can you remind me real quick because i i got a bad memory who won the last championship right that's where you want to start well i mean we i know i just forgot i the last i talked to you you were like hey what are your ring sizes right so pft oh no looks like we don't have rings yet well we were debating this because the rings are made but doesn't sound like these are my favorite gifts where it's like we have or the players giving to the owners before the players is would have caused a little bit of disruption.
Well, we paid for them as owners. Yeah, but what type of precedent does that set? Owners are usually last to get it.
Do you watch sports? Because usually what happens is they present the trophy to the owner right after the Super Bowl. We needed to get players in here.
Or get you guys to, I think, week three in Fairfield

where we're giving the rings out.

Okay.

We're also unprecedented owners, and the team is unprecedented.

It's the worst team of all time to win a championship.

I have a photo of the rings, early photo.

Okay, let me see.

Is there a dog on it?

Yeah, of course.

Max won't want that one.

All right, there you go.

Ooh, those are icy.

I like them.

Yeah, they're icy.

I like them. They're icy.
They got shades of purple. That's nice.
Obviously, you guys will have your name on them. I don't think we discussed numbers, though, so I don't know that numbers are coming in.
To be fair, for those listening, it took about three months to get Big Cat. Yeah, you got some ring sizes.
I was like, I think I just guessed. Checking in, I'm a co-founder of the league and you're guys admin.
Yeah, I think I told big cat just uh normal yeah i was like regular hands no i think i just i said i think the text i sent you i was like uh give me a 13 and pft a 12 right so hopefully they fit if they don't there'll be necklaces we ordered three in different sizes so you guys will just so hank gets one hank should hank's an owner hank should get one yeah i check on that. Yeah.
He should get one. Did you forget about Hank? No, no.
We were getting Dugues and Billy Football and Jake. And they were all asking.
What? Everyone's been asking. Guess what? Now I don't want my ring.
Dugues is getting one? If we're just handing them out to everyone. Well, yeah.
Well, that's the thing. It your checkbook yeah so that's true that's true all right so pll season five we're very excited uh you've been very busy though i feel like you so you bought mll we bought mll a couple of seasons ago explain but but explain like what's happened in the past year with pll you guys have been doing great, like ESPN, which also happened last year or a year before.
Where's the PLL overall in your vision and what the expectations are at? Yeah, because we were walking back here, and this is our fifth season, and ahead of our first season is when I first came on the show and we were talking about the history of professional lacrosse. So there was a league that I played in, Major League Lacrosse.
We ended up buying them in 2020, end of 2020, after the pandemic, and then integrated one of their teams, the Boston Canons, to the Canons. But the reason we say that is our fifth season, at least on air with ESPN, we call back to 25 years of pro lacrosse history, which is valuable because if we look at the NBA Finals finals going on there's always comparison to players in the 80s versus players now and teams with x amount of championships so we get to benefit from that some are saying not me but some are saying you bought that just so that they could play Paul Rabel highlights that that's what some are saying some are saying that some are saying because that just triggered in my It's like, oh, weird.
Because I have very few highlights in the POL. We have 25 years of history of when I was the best lacrosse player in the world.
Interesting. Yeah, and let's make sure that runs on air.
Yeah. And I'm being booked for halftime segments.
Listen, I would do the same thing if I were you. So smart bots.
I don't have a fucking podcast, all right? I need to be on halftime on abc the top 10 goals in in lacrosse history oh wow number seven oh that's only five i'm pretty sure i actually did this this past weekend during the college final four i was like you know in 2007 when we played duke we were up six to one and we ended up winning that game so So this game reminds me of that one.

How many titles did you win at Johns Hopkins?

Two.

Two.

That's nice.

Three not in the works?

We went to a third and we lost.

Oh, wait.

Was that the last one?

Yeah, it was the last one.

Shit.

Yeah.

Do you think about that one more than you do the wins?

Well, when I was playing, I would say I did. That's very athlete rhetoric for you to bring up.

I think about the losses more than I do. But it's also true.
Yeah. Is it? I mean, yeah.
I watch you guys during the playoffs, both hockey and the NBA. You guys feel it, right? When someone loses, you're like, mother fuck.
Yeah. Hank's probably best to answer that one because he's had two game seven losses against eight seeds.
At any point in your career, have you in the semi-finals uh i don't think so never quarterfinals quarters quarters yes quarters are are we say are like the biggest game to win in college because you get onto this disproportionate stage of the final right there's like 60 000 people you never touch that all right when you after you lost did you think a did you have any interest in the game afterwards like did you care about watching the game afterwards and two did you just think you would have beat the team that you would have been playing yeah you mean if you lose in the semis yeah but even the quarters even the next round i mean are you gonna be like i'm gonna watch this game are you like fuck this i have no Yeah, I mean, think about it. So Penn State lost in the semis to Duke.
And the NCAA doesn't have replay on any coach's challenge or end of game. And so the Duke player's foot was all over the crease.
And so the goal should have been disallowed. But because they don't replay, they moved on.
It was like the World Cup in 2010 when France played Ireland and got through and Ireland was out. And so if you're Penn State, I mean, you're living the rest of your life, especially those seniors, basically answering that question as we got hosed.
What now, it's going along the same hypothetical, what if you in the semis lost by 20 at home? Would you then go out and be like, oh, we definitely would have won the title. Right, right.
Yeah, we match up better against that team than this team. yeah it's fun to do i mean hank hank tweeted that you know the celtics would have beat the nuggets in five i agree if the if the bulls had beaten the heat they would have won the title no straight up i think hank's right like the celtics would have dominated the nuggets i would have changed my bet if the win on the celtics if the wizard had won 55 games this year they would have won the title that's also a fact yeah.
Yeah. Possible.
These are all right. You just never know.
You never know. Once you get so semifinals.
They would have been favored. I don't know what you want me to say.
They would not have been favored. They would have been favored.
No, absolutely not. Because they were not favored before Game 7, so they would not have been favored.
I'm going to get Vegas on the line and get a hypothetical line. No, the Nuggets are minus 210 before Game 7, so they would not have been favored.
What do you guys have been favored because they could have been playing the Heat. What do you think about Daryl Morey's hypothetical when he's like, you know, there's basically eight players in the NBA and you have to make a move at one of them and your chances to win a final is greater than 50%.
Yeah, that's probably true. But the eight players, they do change.
There's addition, subtraction. So that eight player list every single year.
so it's either that if you want to win now or you just basically have to get lightning in a bottle in the draft yeah well that's why this is why i love basketball is that the best players the ball's in their hand the whole game right they're on the floor lacrosse is more like hockey where you know you can't really anticipate the flow of the game and then you have to change in in-game your style of play, the coaching. In basketball, you can count on X amount of possessions, X amount of shots, and that is, to me, as a fan, it's more debatable, more exciting, because you get to see those guys, those stars, every game, do well or play shitty.
Yeah, I mean, if you go back in NBA history, I think the last time a team won a title where they didn't have a top 10 guy was probably the pistons and that team was just very good overall when when they beat the lakers yeah like every other iteration was pretty fucking no no the no the 2004 wallace oh right yeah no i say it was top 10 yeah i'm talking about the one that beat the lakers at the end of the lakers yeah who was the guy yeah. Chauncey Phillips.
Chauncey Phillips. Who was the guy who had the mid-range J? Rip Hamilton.
Rip Hamilton was there. Tayshaun Prince.
But that's kind of it. Like, every other title team that you look at, like, they had one of those guys that was the best player or the top 10 player.
And that Pistons team probably had players number, like, 11 through 16. As a team, they were great.
Yeah, but they didn't have anybody in the top 10 yeah right yeah um all right so we do have to talk about the city model that you're now introducing so i just assume the water dogs are gonna be chicago well that's part two of progress so we've gone from six to eight teams we've gone from nbc to espn we have new sponsors on board um we announced last week that we were taking our eight teams to home cities next year and what are the huge one right i mean how do you guys feel about you know sports especially at the pro level and their association with a home market it's yeah and you were smart the way you did it because i think you can't build we've seen it with some of the spring football leagues like it's hard to just day one be like oh this is your team now you like it yeah now you guys have some and if you get that wrong then you're moving people around right monopoly board so what are the cities do you do we know the cities we we we know some okay can we do a city reveal we can not do can we do a half city well well i saw the segment this week around you guys wanting the dogs in Chicago. Well, no, it's not really a one.

It's more like a demand.

Well, as owners, we can also just move the team to Chicago. Well, technically not.

We have a bidding process that we've yet to disclose to ownership groups.

So that's coming from me to you.

Okay.

And so there's different criteria.

How much money can we pay you?

Do you know how Chicago politics work?

Essentially.

We can rig the bidding process.

I'll get Lori on the line.

Yeah.

She's got some time.

Well, politics talk.

Okay.

So a stadium is important.

Done.

Done.

Great.

Done.

Soldier Field's going to be empty soon.

Yeah.

I asked players to send a rider.

Could it be indoors?

Yeah.

Could it be indoors?

No stands?

I love indoors.

Could it be like maybe shrink the field a little bit to like a middle school basketball gym just off the top of my head that with a golf simulator and one of the ends that guys can maybe run into we would also have a full-fledged media apparatus built in yes right next to the field yeah oh my gosh we should just do this yeah this is new pmt studios doubles as water dogs home field advantage yeah when you come play the water dogs it's actually a three-on-three game do you well you guys have a pool uh no will you guys have a shower yeah well you guys have um they they asked for uh they asked for candy the players we can cut all these guys and find guys that don't demand shit. I have a sauna.
Do they want a sauna? They love a sauna. Okay, yeah.
I'll sweat with them. That's actually on the list.
They want unconditional love. Nope.
Absolutely not. That's a deal breaker.
Can there be one condition? What's the condition? If they win. Yeah.
They get unconditional love? Yes, if they're winners. If they win all their games.
Back to back. Any loss, you lose the unconditional love.
It's off the table? Yeah. Owners have to go to every game.
No. That's also a no.
Even when you live and podcast from the state. Yeah.
Yeah. That's also a no.
Still can't guarantee. Don't you have like one weekend that's like opening week of the NFL? I might miss that one.
Well, no. We'll do owner's representative.
That's actually thisers. Oh, we'll have an owner on ABC.
Yeah. We'll have an owner's representative of each game.
Okay, great. That's fair.
Great. Okay.
What's the starting goalie's name? Dylan Ward. He will be our owner's representative.
He'll be at every easy. That was so easy.
Done. Congrats, Dylan.
You're an owner. Weight room.
Sure. Yep.
Okay okay great um stella blue coffee that felt like pandering to me done that's done that no problem as much as they want uh call of duty playstation uh grass field instead of turf how about hardwood yeah hardwood is going to be probably clear that might be on a basketball court deal break beautiful sound sound like a bunch of horses. So we're halfway there.
Yeah, hardwood is going to be probably cleats on a basketball court.

That might be a deal breaker.

Beautiful sound. Sound like a bunch of horses.
So we're halfway there. Yeah, we're halfway there.
So this is exciting, though. So how eight cities, and then what's it going to – are there going to be home games? Are you guys still going to play? No, we're keeping – yeah, so there's home games.
We're keeping the touring model because we're still building overall attendance and viewership and such. So basically what it looks like is you will host a home game in your market, and then each team gets to do that over the 10 regular season games,

and then there's two availability markets to expand to.

Nice.

And then playoffs and championship will probably fall in home markets

of the teams that are winning.

Okay.

So are the teams that are in the home market, let's say hypothetically,

just toss this out there, maybe the Waterdogs are in Chicago. Right.
they're going to live in chicago they're going to practice in chicago yes i would love the players to get to their home markets there's going to be probably a transitional phase that we're going to figure out with our players because they don't know as much as we do where they're going to end up we're still figuring out that we announced it early so that we could engage with our audience uh learn, learn from more data that's coming in from ESPN to Ticketmaster Live Nation, talk to a bunch of people, including our players around, okay, the prospect of hypothetically Waterdogs go to Chicago, who's down to live there. What is that? Be an intern at Barstool Sports, get our coffee, that kind of thing.
That kind of thing. Could be a full team of interns.
That kind of thing. There we go.
This is two birds with one stone right here. Any of them want a nanny? My kids.
Boom. We could get all the problems solved.
Oh, designated drivers on the weekend. Could be a water dog.
We will put them to work. Yeah, yeah.
Shuffle my sidewalk. So that's criteria.
We want our owners engaged. Yeah, we're engaged.
And we want them to work with their players in market. Once you give me the ring, then I'll be engaged.
How about that? Okay, that's good to know. Okay, what about markets that are non-starters for the dogs? St.
Louis, right? I think we said we're never going to go to St. Louis.
St. Louis is off.
Those are Mount Rushmore cities we'll never go to.

What about Washington?

Yeah, Washington, D.C. would love it.

Absolutely.

You guys would support the dogs in D.C.?

Yes.

I'll also throw out another one that, if not Chicago,

we would move to Oakland and be the kings of Oakland

because they've lost every team in the last five years.

We wouldn't actually do anything,

but we would just say that we brought a franchise.

What about California? Just call it California. We could move up and down the state.
Oh, the California Water Dogs? We would. We could like buy a one bedroom apart in California.
California Water Dogs. So we have California, Washington, D.C., Chicago.
Yeah. New York.
San Diego gets all their teams taken from them, too. What about Honolulu? Honolulu would be awesome.
I'm going to throw one out there as well. I think we haven't discussed it, but we would definitely be down with a Youngstown, Ohio.
Water Dogs. Capital of Grit.
Mystery Water Dogs? Yeah, Mystery Water Dogs. You don't know where they are.
No, Alaska. Oh, okay, that too.
Play their games at like 3 a.m. I mean, our mascot is kind of like a husky anyways, isn't it? Just the American water dogs? All of the country's ours? The American water dogs.
Yep, that's a catch-all. Who's our big rival? The Whipsnakes.
The Whipsnakes? I fucking hate them. Move them to the Sentinelese Islands.
That's their home stadium. And what about, so we're probably, a good guess for a lacrosse fan, someone who watched MLL would say the Cannons are going to be in Boston.
And then what else? Did you ever watch the Boston Cannons? Of course. My man.
Growing up. Love the Cannons.
Name three of your favorite Cannon players. You know what I kind of like? Peter Ulein.
Paul Rabel. There's one.
He also told me he was a big Matt Rambo fan, big Kevin Buchanan fan, and Ryan Boyle, who kills our games with Jake. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. So there's three right there.
You know what you should do? This is just like I'm being serious here. If you're doing the city model, it would actually be advantageous to do something like they used to do in like the NBA way back in the day where it's regional draft.
So like if Chicago got the water dogs, they get at least one Notre Dame player every year. You know what I mean? Like, so you keep that connection.
Yeah. And this may be me trying to get both Kavanaugh brothers, but that's fine.
I'm willing to do that. What do you guys think about drafts in general? I like them when they're rigged.
Yep. Yeah.
We get first pick every year. The difference between American pro sports and just call it like global football is the draft.
Because without the draft, you can just acquire players when they're young and assign them to your academies. Yeah.
Or even in college. And I think now with NIL happening the way it does, I would push the NBA to move in that direction and the NFL.
The NBA easier than the NFL because of all the contact and how difficult it is to play in the NFL. But if you kill a draft, you can just start acquiring these players that are superstars when they're 16 anyway.
Yeah. Have you thought about doing a snake draft? Yes.
We could do a snake draft. Also, have you thought about – We could just get rid of a draft.
There's not it's not as it's not as like it's not 31 teams you have to go 31 up 31 down eight is eight is reasonable eight is reasonable and eight and eight allows us to grow the awareness and the and the uh the wage profile of our players the more more we add teams the more everyone sort of dilutes have you thought thought about draft order, maybe 50 bucks, Frank the Tank cameo, he decides a draft order every year. That would be interesting.
That's a good idea. He just randomly decides a draft order.
More money than 50 bucks. We don't even tell him what he's deciding the draft order for.
You just give him the names of each captain, and he will just rattle it off for you late august that feels like a good idea though to honestly crowd fund for against the fans of each team for the number one pick and all that money goes to us the owner done yeah i mean you could do it's interesting because i've interesting i've thought about getting rid of of the draft what that would look like in football and in basketball it's kind of weird that you take kids coming out of college and then you tell them okay you're going to move to the city this is where you're going to work you don't have a choice in the situation but now that i'm an owner i love that but we're paying millions but they do have a choice right they don't have to sign like leno messi and his family didn't have to sign with barcelona football no hey let's talk about it real quick because like if you're if you go to college for any other other vocation, right, you have a choice of where you're going to go and they're going to pay you maybe sometimes. What about West Point? Shitload.
And then they can put you on loan as well. No one's coming out of college making millions of dollars except for professional athletes.
No, but some people, you make hundreds of thousands of dollars and you get to choose where you work. But if you got offered to get millions of dollars but told where to work they're taking yes i'm not crying for for professional athletes not being able to do this i'm saying it's completely different from every other thing about american business i love it and it turns it into a more of a business because now you're you're scouting and you're acquiring talent when they're young you're helping them develop yeah they're allowed allowed to go to college and play.
You have to pay them on background. You can loan them out to other teams if you want.
I would like, though, for the Water Dogs to be in a position where we can do the process and actually see it all the way through. Tank for multiple years in a row to just try to get as many assets and then get a really tall guy who runs out of gas every single playoffs.
I mean, look, I've gotten owners from different leagues that are asking if they can sit down and meet with you guys how you were able to turn that team around so quickly yeah it was uh we'll never give up our secret sauce neglior expansion everyone wants to know yeah yeah it's actually one of them is is criticize the team yeah publicly it's really the seems to work the key is to be as hands-off as possible where you don't even watch the games. Right.
We put our lacrosse guys in a position to make lacrosse decisions. Yeah.
We're just the owners. Exactly.
Right. We hired good people.
Andy Copeland. Andy Copeland, who I might have put on the hot seat two years ago.
Well, he felt that heat. Well, we weren't playing D.
I said we said on this show we got to take away the D from his name. He's just Andy Copeland.
Like, it was ridiculous how bad we were. So we're better now, though.
We're good. We're champions.
Jake Marsh on the call. He's doing.
He's been. Let's talk about Jake Marshall.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Has he been.
Is there room for him to eventually be like the Kevin Harlan or Joe Buck of lacrosse? On the slate regularly. I'm for him.
Okay. Yeah.
He loves doing it and he, no one works harder. Yeah.
I mean, his prep sheet is like three different laminated, you know, stats and team qualifiers and all that stuff. He's, he comes with a game face.
Well, and I don't know if you hear, but when he's about to call lacrosse game for you guys, we say on this show, like if you don't tune hope you die so like it's a pretty good incentive it's a good push yeah highest viewed games are when jake marsh is on the call there's a lot of people don't want to die yeah did you know that he doesn't wear pants when he's on the call yeah i haven't seen that but it doesn't surprise me just nude from the waist down but he's tidy white no underwear well it depends on where he's at some states have different laws yeah yeah typically just no belt no pants just whatever god gave him because he's getting hot well no he says he needs it for his voice yeah oh because he really finds his voice yeah yeah exactly they really do i have a question for you uh kind of a serious question as a commissioner yeah how would you rank the other commissioners if you look at roger goodell right bettman yeah the and the other ones rob manford and david stern so so i i love adam silver he's the man he he uh he's been super supportive of the pll and and strategic at times two online i've never met roger goodell uh gary bettman was just recognized for his career at the Sports Business Awards. And he's probably the most controversial.
I mean, Roger and then Bettman. But Bettman was a part of two strikes, I think, in the NHL.
And he came over from the NBA. So he's got loads of experience, but he's a legal background.
Was it Bettman, the the Bettman era that really started the fans booing commissioners, and that's bled over to Goodell? I think it started with Bettman, didn't it? Yeah. I think it was like when Goodell started fining people for everything, for literally everything.
Like, oh, your socks are a little bit too low. Right.
$10,000. Yeah.
But I don't think Goodell's even – he's not really controversial anymore because everyone hates's he i feel like he has a pretty big pr campaign right now going on yeah he's he's doing a lot more media they used to never do media but ceiling was also like very hated yeah for how he dealt with steroids and like you know oh yeah and then and then man imagine man coming on this show and talking about rules you know just never happened would never would never happen It would never happen. And Major League Baseball is getting so much love right now for doing something that we've been calling for for 15 fucking years.
Yeah, yeah, no, it's true. Yeah, they're late to it, but they get credit.
We just changed our shot clock a little bit, made it a little bit faster. Well, Goodell does something that we've noticed over the years that we point out every time he will take something away that is fun, and then when everyone gets upset, he'll give it back, and then he'll be like, look, I gave it back.
Like when he did the touchdown celebrations, and then he gave it back, and everyone's like, Goodell, what a good job. So you need to do that.
Oldest trick in the book. Take away goals for an entire season.
Take away. Every game's a 0-0 tie.
back and everyone's like holy shit paul rabel we got goals again that's a yeah lower wages lower wages the year before you're going to increase yeah smart or start just out of nowhere finding people like fifty thousand dollars because your cleats are too bright yeah and then be like tell you what i'm gonna let you do one weekend where you can wear whatever color shoes you want as long as you donate your game check to charity. Yeah.
Replays when he did instant replay for pass interference and then was like, I'm taking it away. Games are going to be shorter.
What about finding owners? We're not cool with that. Wait, new owners? Did you say finding or finding? Finding owners.
No, that's not okay. No, good luck.
Not good? Good luck. I mean, you know how long it took you to sign a contract right commissioner commissioner's answer to owners anyway that's true you are yeah you are figurehead yeah we are your boss not to negotiate against myself but i would say puppet yeah you're a puppet um to be fair what we decide on behind the scenes like off the mics is we usually get into it yeah yeah that's where it really gets dirty yeah yeah we have those knockdown, drag-out fights in the conference rooms.
It is cool, though, that you bought the league that you used to play in. That's got to feel good, right? Like an ultimate flex.
Yeah. Yeah, it was good.
It was good. They were difficult, man.
You guys still haven't seen the documentary that you're in, have you billy saw it billy saw it you know you guys are on hulu right now pardon my take and you guys basically bringing in the story of major league lacrosse and premier lacrosse league i did see that clip yeah i did see that clip too it's a good story you guys should watch i'm always nervous though like we were on good morning america the other day do you guys know that huh liverking interview and it was just a shirtless i was like right so i never really kind of this one this one i don't go back i go forward this one was good but yeah no at that time bring that because at that time when we were signing the players over to us their ownership group just started talking a bunch of shit on us oh really and yeah and things like they don't have a network deal they're they don't have any money uh there was one rumor that came out because mike and i went to the super bowl um on behalf of a partner yet to be announced it was gatorade at the time and they're like they're spending all their money on themselves and then that's true players it was like did you guys spend 50k to go to the super bowl and i'm like what the fuck is this turning into yeah i heard that that was true that we yeah you went to it wasn't cheap yeah he spent all that money you should when you get in these like negotiations that are tough tap us in we're ready to just completely soil someone online yeah you guys you give us the list of names and we'll just tweet shit about them all the time yeah you have a pr fixer yeah we will do we will get in for you. Who's your biggest enemy? You did get in the mud for me that one time.
Yeah. I talked about it.
Yeah. When you took your helmet off and got in that fight.
Right. Yeah.
Right. That's what it was.
It's like, this is weird. The guy who took his helmet off and got in a fight is also the guy, you know, putting down the suspensions.
But you were in the right. You did not handle that.
You had someone else handle it right which i respected yeah yeah so i did get in the mud for you because people were saying oh paul rabel's not gonna suspend you let someone else handle it yeah yeah which was fair your brother have to yeah exactly yeah hands off this one right this is his brother and his mom not my decision yeah was that ever awkward like guys wanted to fight you but they're like he's the commissioner i don't know if i should yeah it's hard actually training camp started last week i was there for the for uh for the first few practices and it felt better than it ever has because i was now two seasons away from playing and so even last year after i had retired it was still a little bit of that stare down in a hallway like sizing you up type of thing which i hated because i you, you know, I'm not going to come back. Right.
But maybe officially officially retired. Yeah, maybe there could be a sequel to that movie.
Just have the championship team sign you every year right before the championship game right before the championship. Yeah.
Yeah. Just be like, yeah, put waiver extend waivers a few more weeks.
Yeah. see if you can get like 15 titles and just be

like i'm the goat look at all these rings that would be sick we have some serious commissioner

do you think would do that oh good though good though good though for sure um i have i have one

last question for you paul and this has been great pll coming back season five yeah check it out

training camp started we have billy and jake in training camp right now june 3rd and 4th saturday

and sunday at 1 p.m both games on abc yes yes water dogs play at one o'clock yes yes

Thank you. out training camp started we have billy and jake in training camp right now june 3rd and 4th saturday and sunday at 1 p.m both games on abc yes yes water dogs play at one o'clock yes yes against chaos on sunday yes we have eight abc windows love it i love it um we're trying to figure out where to bring the water dogs we had someone our director of marketing sent me um for for you guys and all of your listeners it's waterdogscomehome.com if you want to have a say okay in where the team goes okay which market wants it dc chicago california where else youngstown youngstown alaska alaska and then america let's throw in afghanistan right let's just see let's see get.
Let's just see. Yeah.
I mean, that would throw a little wrinkle in your league. Imagine flying into Kabul for a tournament.
Look, Navy SEALs are also known as water dogs. That's called a home field advantage, baby.
Altitude, too. Navy SEALs, also known as water dogs.
Yeah, that's true. Yes.
So, you know. All right.
So my last question, rowback question, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase, RHOBACK.com, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, and shorts. Shorts, when you're going to see PLL this year, wear your rowback all summer long.
This is the most important thing. You need to get us Bill Belichick on PMT.
You promised. Right.
It's time. You tell us.
You tell bill wherever he wants us to be time place we don't care we'll be there okay i'm gonna lean into this one yes okay so so what's in it for me i will we made a strategize on this we made a deal last year when you were on this show we said that come to games we would go to a game it was a big deal. It was like flying you guys by a private airline and a helicopter onto center field.

Yeah, we will

be in attendance for an entire

weekend of games

if Bill Belichick will be there

and we can interview Bill Belichick at the tournament.

At the games.

Wait, Hank, what?

Or we could just be anywhere else. Yeah, we don't have to do that.

Like, it doesn't have to be a full weekend? And we don't have to interview Belichick if he's not. Like, we can go interview him wherever.
Yeah, we can go interview Belichick. Here's what I'll say.
And you want him in person. In person.
I will care more. I will ramp up my care.
That would be an incredible podcast, by the way. Yes, it would.
So we don't have to interview Bill at a game. Yeah, and we don't have to go to a game.
He wouldn't let that happen. We will go to one game.
A POL game. A game, and we will care significantly more.
A Water Dogs game. Sure, and we will care.
You're missing the care part. I'm taking my care from zero to at least ten.
I know. That's why they asked for unconditional love.
Yeah. I'm willing to.
If they win. I don't want to promise too much.
I mean, I can actually maybe speak for myself in my area, but we are, you know, designing the new studio. Like, we could put some signage up.
Yeah, some Water Dogs stuff. Water Dogs.
That might be the... A Water Dogs mural.
Yeah. A Water Dogs mural.
A championship mural. A small mural.
Yeah. A pocket-sized mural.

That's like a sticker.

Right.

We'll get a sticker on the wall.

There will be a sticker.

I'll draw a picture of a dog in a Post-it note and put it behind me.

Yeah, I don't see the Waterdogs helmet here now that we're...

I'll put a sticker.

I'll put a PLL sticker on my computer.

That's...

Billy took that.

Right here.

Boom.

On the computer.

There we go.

PFT coming in.

Bang.

My owner's jacket. Damn.
I wear this every day. I've never even seen that.
Every day. Because you're not in the owner's club.
Right. I'm not.
You're in the commish club. Yep.
Wow, that's sick. Yeah, we could get something on the wall.
I'm not sure. Yeah.
All right, so let's do it. Okay, cool.
So I'll work on that throughout the off-season. Right now.
Now is the off-season. It's the off-season today.
Right now. I'll work on that now.
You mean this offseason? The football offseason, yes. Right now.
We will go right now. It would be the start of Grit Week.
It would be incredible. We'll ask at least three lacrosse questions.
When is the ring ceremony? He will definitely talk about lacrosse. We will ask him lacrosse.
That's a guarantee. guaranteed ask about lacrosse questions when is the ring ceremony he will he will definitely talk about lacrosse we will ask him lacrosse that's a guarantee guaranteed ask about lacrosse he's only been on one other podcast which one yours since 2007 we played duke and we were down 6-1 and we won the championship yeah it's a self-call he's been on he's my podcast.
Okay, so he knows how to do a podcast.

We would take great care of it.

I felt awful about it, though.

Why?

It was, I don't know, five or six years ago.

And he was like, yeah, I'll do it.

And he was like, so what is a podcast?

When I started taking out the microphones.

So now he knows.

And he was like, how many people are going to listen to this?

Now he knows.

I don't know.

Now he knows.

Now he knows.

Now he knows.

So he's prepped.

I mean, it would be more.

I'm going to have to go through his guy, Burj. That's fine.
Yeah. Whatever you got to do.
You guys maybe take Burge out for dinner. I've heard about Burge.
No problem. He's a legend.
Burge is a legend. I bet you he has heard this podcast.
I guarantee it. Because Edelman plays it constantly.
He's just walking around with a boom box. We're going to have a conversation with the Crafts.
They're investors in the PLL. You guys are owners.
We should make this happen. Yeah, owner to owner.
We'll talk to him. Yes, let's do it.
We'll talk about when he's done coaching in the NFL, which PLL team. That's my only question.
Done. First is a fire Copeland in a second for Belichick.
Yes. We'll do it.
Yes. All right.
Well, Paul Rabel, always great to see you. Always great to have you come by.
PLL back. Waterdogs playing this weekend.

Jake Marsh.

Jake Marsh.

It's going to be great.

Jake Marsh on the call.

The boys are already there.

Love you guys.

Thanks for having me.

Yes.

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What's that?

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I like to put ketchup on mine. That's how they do it out in the Windy City, baby.
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Do not put in the description extra meth, please. Don't do that.
They won't put that on your sandwich. I want to make that very clear.
But it'd be funny. Okay.
We're going to do the second half of the show. We have our first movie review.
Well, we did one a couple weeks ago but uh max has joined us max.com go go download max.com we talked about succession last week good max good good max uh we talked about succession last week we're gonna do some movie reviews in the coming weeks and we started this week with blood sport blood sport a classic 1988 action movie with jeanClaude Van Damme. Actually, the movie that started The Muscles from Brussels, this was his first starring role.
I think he was like 28 in this movie. Very good looking guy.
But Bloodsport. He's French? The Muscles from Brussels.
Brussels is Belgium. Belgium.
Close enough. Waffles.
I was trying to figure that out. This, and we'll get into the notes.
This was, I've obviously heard about him. I know you talk about him a lot.
It was a little bit before my time, so this was my first JVC movie. And he is good looking.
JCVD. Yeah.
JCVD. And it is awesome.
Awesome. I forgot.
I probably haven't seen this movie in 15, 20 years. It's better than when I saw it when I was younger.
It is. It's like a fine wine gets better with age.
Yep. What I really like about this movie, you know how they have the Bechdel test? I'm pretty sure that's the one where if you watch a movie and two women have a conversation with each other that isn't about a man, then it passes the Bechdel test.
Yeah. With this one, there should be a Van Damme test where there are more punches than there are words said during the movie.
And it passes with flying colors. It's incredible.
From the very start to the end, it's just everything that you want out of a cheesy 80s action movie. It's the best.
It is. The thing I love, so little description of the movie for people who didn't watch it, but you should watch it.
It's on max.com. It's a classic.
It's a mandatory watch if you like action movies. It is Frank Dukes, who's in the army, who was trained as a young child by Tanaka, Tanaka's son, actual son.
Well, there was a couple things happened. Tanaka, they had some flashbacks.
Tanaka just casually dropping, like, my first family, yeah, we lived in Hiroshima. Whoops.
That wasn't good. What were you going to say, Hank? I mean, there's a few things.
The scenes with the kid actors when he, like, you know, helps Tanaka's son not get bullied and hug some of the worst acting of all time. Oh, that's what makes the movie awesome.
That's a great sign of a cheesy movie. Also.
The kid's acting was horrific. Yeah, also the rare Giants Giants fan.
He had a San Francisco Giants hat and a New York Giants jersey. And he was also just- As Jake Marsh pointed out, that's the Mike Francesa.
That's the Mike Francesa. If they ever get together.
I actually looked up that jersey on the New York Giants that he was wearing. Duke says a kid is wearing a Brian Kelly jersey.
Ooh Kelly jersey, which is appropriate given the shitty accent.

Yes.

Right off the bat, it might have been the first shot.

The first person they showed was a man doing karate.

And I just had the feeling of like, I bet you this dude is like 25.

But he looks so much older.

Everyone that was supposed to be young in this movie just looks way older than they.

Maybe that's just me being older now. That's the 80s.
But I was like, these people are supposed to be like younger than i am and they all look like they're 35 in the 80s if you were 29 years old you would look like you were 60 yeah it also this movie is so great because it is the easiest movie to understand they telegraph everything foreshadowing is like hits you over the head with foreshadowing like the the kumite having the son tanaka's son die and then van damme has to go train with tanaka and get ready for the kumite the scene where he's like finally done training and he sets the table with the with the blindfold and then catches tanaka's punch blindfolded you're like oh i mean that might come back in handy later. Mrs.
Tanaka was leaking. Yes.
She was leaking. If you like montages, this is the movie for you.
There's like seven different montages in there. I like when they get to Hong Kong.
Yeah, so he gets trained by Tanaka. Then he's leaving.
He basically went AWOL from the army in the first five minutes to go to Hong Kong to fight in the Kumite, which is an underground fight to the death to find the greatest fighter in the world. Yes, and when they get to Hong Kong, that's when things really start to kick off because you get to meet the other fighters from different parts of the world.
And it's basically like Street Fighter or like Mortal Kombat, the movie. Mortal Kombat was based on this movie.
Yeah. So it's pretty much the same plot.
Yes. But they do it better in Bloodsport.
But once you get to Hong Kong, it's fighters from all around the world. And they're all so very stereotypical about the countries that they come from.
One even being a bad stereotype. Yeah.
Very. I think we can all agree that one guy.
That was wild that that was ever in a movie. Yeah.
The coconut scene at the. Well, wow.
Yeah. But you know who we're talking about.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. The the Saudi Arabian guy was my favorite because he was very clearly just Asian.
Yeah. But he was wearing a Saudi Arabian headscarf.
Yes. And it's like, OK, this guy, this bad guy is now trying to kidnap the woman reporter.

And then Van Damme shows up at the bar and he's like, she's not your property.

You can't claim her.

Tell you what, let's gamble.

And if I win, then she's my property.

Yeah.

It's a quarter trick.

The quarter trick is all time.

And yeah, the Saudi Arabian guy's name is Hossein.

Yeah, Hossein.

Saudi Arabia should put together.

I mean, if they love blood sport, that's kind of their business model these days. They should do a big-ass international fighting tournament.
Why not? Was it just me or was his buddy just Ben Roethlisberger? Oh, yeah, Ray Jackson. And it was on brand when his first scene, he's sexually harassing the woman on the bus.
And then Van Damme's like, we're going to be boys now. Yeah, and it's also great because in like these 80s action movies, there's usually a love angle, which Van Damme has with the reporter who the reporter just basically was like, I want to get in the Kumite.
Also, let's fuck. And maybe you'll let me in the Kumite.
But there's also like a very heavy, like hetero love connection where when they start playing a video game together and they look at each other, that's bro love. Dude, him and Tanaka, I wrote that down multiple times.
He basically has sexual tension with everyone. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Well, that's Van Damme.
Van Damme is so hot that everyone wants to fuck him. He's just chilling in his room, getting ready for the kumite, and he's doing the splits on that elevated platform.
Dude, even the military police that are after him in Hong Kong, he's got sexual tension with them. That was one of the greatest chase scenes of all time.
Van Damme, so he's at the Kumite. He goes through the first round.
The army were led to believe that Frank Dukes is this incredible soldier that they need to get back a great asset for the U.S. Army.
They never addressed that, right? Because I kind of wasn't paying attention, maybe in the very, very beginning, where if they did a quick explainer, but I was like, what does he need to get back for? What is his job? They don't want him to get hurt. Yeah, they invested him.
For what reason? The Robocop. Hank, he's a super soldier.
One friend of Dukes could take out an entire subcontent. Yes, yes.
So they need him back. They can't have him getting killed in the blood sport.
Wasn't he just mopping the floor no he dude he's he's the best of the best he's always on standby he's also a great movie he's like an a-bomb yeah it's like you have to have him around in case you need him but they so the military police chase him maybe the greatest chase scene of all time they chase through the the streets of hong kong they probably cover like five miles the entire chase the military police is 20 feet behind Van Damme like he's always there they they never he never opens the gap he's playing with them he's fooling with them it's like a scooby-doo chase yeah great montage and then we get back to uh the kumite we obviously have Ray Jackson his love his hetero love affair uh gets beat bad by chong lee which againshadow when Ray Jackson was like I want you Chung Lee and he also said this is one of my favorite parts of these cheesy movies that they have to make sure that halfway through the movie they say the title of the movie because they're watching the fights and Ray Jackson just turns to him and he's like that's why they call it Bloodsport kid. I wrote it in my notes that a light bulb went off for me.
Yeah. When he said that, I was like, yeah, that's why they call it blood sport.
I had no idea why until during the sport there was blood. Yeah.
And Chung Lee's a bad deal. I was like, yeah.
Chung Lee killed a guy, former Kumite, then he kills another guy in this Kumite. Maybe the craziest pecs of all time oh just like they're his pecs extend downward towards his knees but it's all muscle that's all man he also has chung lee all-time villain because he has one single line the entire movie you are next that's it that's the only time we hear him talk everyone starts turning on him because he's killing guys for just like he kevin weared a he just did.
But they did add stuff. He kills a guy.
It gets silent. The crowd stands up.
They turn their back and then it just goes back to fighting. Well, yes, they don't.
They don't even. Yeah, blood support.
Come on. You sign up for blood support with the understanding that you might die.
Yeah, that's what makes it so alluring. So then we get to the final scene with Jean-Claude Van Damme versus Chung Lee.
And this is crazy, but Chung Lee cheats and blinds Van Damme. Thankfully, we found out early on that Van Damme is trained blindfolded.
Never saw that coming back. And Van Damme ends up winning.
Wait, wait, wait. Can we, can we, I mean, I guess you're going to say this is why they call it blood sport, but the split punch in the balls.
That was a cheap shot. I don't think Hank knows why they call it blood sport.
Hank. No, I get it.
You can do anything in blood sport to get blood. Yeah, you fast forwarded to the championship, but I thought it was a little bit of a scumbag cheap shot when he just did the split and punched the guy in the nuts to advance.
Yeah, but that's blood sport. You either hit him off the runway, you knock him out, or they say Matei, which is uncle.
I don't like what Hank's doing right now. This is the pussification of blood sport that Hank's going through.
It's probably a fight to the dead. It might as well be flag blood sport, Hank.
Yeah, it's a fight to the dead. I mean, Chung Lee beat a guy up unconscious and then in front of the entire audience snapped his neck and killed him and you're worried about a fucking nut shot yeah no i guess i i knew you're gonna say it's blood sport anything no rules all right so van damme is that blinded is it possible to hear a punch coming well he yeah for him i think for van damme yeah he yeah he set the table whatever hank you're.
You're anti-blood sport. I can't trust you.
You don't know why it's called blood sport. You don't know combat sports.
But Van Damme wins, beats Chung Lee, the greatest champion of all time. Beautiful ending.
Ray Jack goes to the hospital. A nice I love you man.
He looked like Tyler Hansborough when he was bloody and like screaming yeah he looked exactly like tyler hansborough finding the yeah he he does like a he finds like his his his surroundings even though he can't see you know my cat my favorite guys in in these types of movies are they're the toss guys and you see him in martial arts too like demonstrations their entire job is to run at steven seag just get touched by him. And then do, like, three flips because the power of his finger was so strong that it, like, launched you into orbit.
Yeah. This movie is filled with tossed guys.
Yes. Just getting thrown around left and right.
They love that shit. The best one, I had it in the notes.
The guy, he screamed. And then Van Damme kicked him once.
And then he kicked him a second time. And he flew out.
Yes. He flew into the abyss.
Yes. That was a fight.
That was a great. That was laugh out loud funny.
Such an art in being a toss guy. I feel like you have to be a toss guy for enough years until you get promoted to being the guy that gets to beat the shit out of the toss guys.
Yes. I also there's also like scenes.
This is really the mark of a great 80s action movie. There's scenes that feel important that just don't have any importance and never get brought up again when like hussein loses his gold tooth and they zoom in on the guy who's cleaning up the mat who steals it and you're like will that come back no that did nothing absolutely nothing that was completely had enough no relevance whatsoever but they did the hitchcock zoom they did that too in the beginning like that's a that.
That's a sign of an old school movie when they're just doing the Hitchcock Zoom as much as possible. Yeah, there was some information that I found when I looked up about this movie because I want to know the history behind Bloodsport and how it got made.
What was the critical reception? Oh, I have a quote. It's got a good score on Rotten Tomatoes.
I think it's like 87 or something like that. Maybe that's IMDB that I saw.
It's a 46 approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. One of the reviews that came out at the time was basically said, what was it? It was like, this is a cliche movie.
It made money. It made good money.
But yeah. Oh, yeah.
Beyond but beyond van damme's athleticism blood sport is a cliched virtually plotless exercise in action action movie recycling disagree with that well that's like saying beyond patrick mahomes the chiefs aren't a very good football team yeah but so this movie by the way max didn't like this movie we'll hear from him at the end um i did see i saw this movie like 20 years ago and i was explaining this uh and i think you probably went through the same thing pft where at the end the movie ends and they reveal that this is all based on a true story yeah and it's frank dukes that's and he's got he's got world records fastest fastest knockout 3.2 seconds fastest kick 72 miles an hour most consecutive knockouts in a single tournament, 56. So when I watched this 20 years ago, I was like, this is fucking cool.
Badass. The internet's not the internet.
I just believed it. Last night I rewatched it, and I went and looked it up, and Frank Dukes is the greatest liar of all time.
All of it is fake. So when they interviewed the screenwriter about it, the screenwriter like this is there are some issues with the script based on what frank dukes told me he said it is based on a true story except frank dukes lied about his fighting record as well as the existence of the entire tournament as well as his military record so which is like the entire thing is made up he's the greatest liar of all time like i actually think they should a blood.
They did make three more blood sports, but Van Damme's not in them. They need to make a making of the blood sport.
So Frank Dukes is a guy who was in the Marines, and he left the Marines. So it basically is all based on this one article that was written about him in 1980, where the author feels like they just believed everything he said uh he said that he was in the cia he was blowing up like oil depots in iraq and like going like all these covert operations the cia came out was like none of this is true he they're actually if you look at his uh military record in 1978 he was institutionalized for having like bad thoughts and like completely making stuff up.
Have you ever heard of MKUltra in the CIA? Big Cat, do you think the CIA would acknowledge this stuff if it was true? He's basically used the CIA being like a covert organization to make his career even bigger where he's like, yeah, well they erased all the records. Yeah.

So of course they're not going to tell me this.

Correct.

He had,

so he,

I like Frank Dukes simply because when he gets caught in a lie,

he just lies even more.

They asked for where the Kumite sword is.

And he said,

I,

I had it,

but I had to sell it,

pawn it to pay ransom for a bunch of kids that were kidnapped by Somali pirates.

So he just made that.

What a great guy.

That should be a movie, too.

He also produced the trophy.

And then a couple years after he produced the trophy, a guy came forward from a trophy shop in the San Fernando Valley and was like, yeah, he bought that for me.

Sounds like he should get his ass kicked.

Also, Tanaka is the name of a bad guy in a Bond movie.

Okay.

So he just made up all this stuff.

They're like, they tried to find it.

Tanaka didn't exist.

I think it happened.

They tried to find all this stuff.

There also is like these moments where they found other people who were at this alleged

Kumite.

And one of them like said, yeah, I was there. Ikes he knocked everyone out it was awesome like two years later he was like yeah we had a falling out he just told me to lie about all of that and none of it happened listen i i i choose to believe frank dukes i i choose so i i choose to ignore all the facts i just want to think that this actually happened and that a guy that looks a lot like johnlaude Van Damme took, I don't know, six months off of blowing up oil refineries in Iraq for the CIA to go over there and just beat the shit out of everybody in the world.
I don't even care about, like, Bloodsport's an awesome movie. Who cares? I like Frank Duke's The Liar because he just can't stop lying.
Here's a couple other things. He does look a little bit like Billy.
Yeah, that's true. We've dealt with someone like this.
Yeah, so he sold his Kumite sword in a failed attempt to buy freedom of a boat of orphans whom he later rescued from the pirates. He stopped a plot to assassinate Steven Seagal.
These are all Frank Dukes, what he has said. I love that because he's basically saying, like, I am so powerful at martial arts that i'm the only one who can defend steven seagal yes and then and then uh that the discrepancies in his martial arts history of the work of fabrications by his rivals uh and i also i've read a ton of stories about this guy last night he fucking rules because he's just so delusional apparently he got in a fight at a like karate uh like expo with another karate guy and he got his ass kicked and then after he got his ass kicked like many people saw it happen people like yeah frank duke's got his ass kicked he's like well that guy had brass knuckles and he sucker punched me yeah it's dirty and everyone's like well no we saw it and that's not what happened and then he confiscated the tape like lebron getting dunked on at his own camp it's awesome he just he keeps lying about everything everything is made up he's uh yeah frank dukes i mean a canadian hero he's from canada but still canadian american hero so he's from canada served in the united states military he moved imagine how dumb those somali pirates are to to like kidnap somebody and then to make the ransom phone call to the most dangerous person on earth.
Yes, on earth. Yeah.
Literally on earth. Bad move.
Yeah. So I give Bloodsport five balls.
I love this movie. I'll always love this movie.
I do want to see the remake where they just figure out all Frank Dukes' lies and do a making of Bloodsport. We should get him on the show and then make a story.
I mean, clearly there's a business model for listening to his stories as truth and then making a movie about him. Yeah.
Like, who cares? It's a movie. He's got a great imagination.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah. I listened to an interview that he did, and he's great.
He's kind of got a little liver king in him where you ask him a question, and he just answers a completely different question. He's like, yeah, that's the point.
So he says that Tanaka brought him to Masuda, Japan when he was 16 years old to get trained as a ninja. We haven't had enough movies about ninjas recently.
I know. Nobody does ninjas anymore.
Three ninjas. Great movie.
It was a five out of five for me. Five balls.
I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was saying it earlier.
I did procrastinating watching a little bit. It was a little bit late.
And if there was an option to do it on one, one and a half or one and a quarter speed, I probably would have done it. But there wasn't.
And I really enjoy. I ended up being very happy.
Like I was like, I was laughing. I thought the lady, you know, whose job it is to expose how heinous this event is.
When he was blind and jumping around,

she was laughing having the time of her life.

Yes, yes.

She went from this is a heinous event that I need to expose

and blow up to rooting for John Van Dam and laughing.

Having a good time.

It's blood sport.

And the four spin kicks in a row.

Incredible.

That was excessive.

What a move.

What a move.

You can stop three, but you can't stop four. How can you draw power three in a row like four in a row did you see him training when when when tanaka had him in just the torture chamber with ropes that that princess bride like that was just that must i don't know when princess bride came out but that was that was a that was a thing of that time yeah because that was the same machine yeah you know what the stretcher that's good about max is on max it you can watch it while you're doing other things on your phone too yeah and this is the perfect movie to watch in the background of anything else so so good also uh shout out frank dukes because i did forget to mention that he is much like lenny dykstra 320 wins in one loss and then he actually corrected it in an interview like 10 years after saying it was actually 329 wins, zero losses.
How did that one loss get out there in the first place? Well, he said it. He said his record was 321 wins, one loss and seven draws, where it's like similar to Lenny Dykstra, like, hey, if you throw in the one loss, people got to believe it.
He definitely misspoke them. And then he just changed his record to actually 329 and zero.
Also, we're just a Forrest Whitaker podcast. Yeah.
Yeah. Forrest Whitaker, just great.
Him falling into the water. Also, them, again, them and the fucking journalists, like their whole mission was to stop this thing.
They got to the event and were like, you know what? He doesn't understand blood sport. He doesn't understand blood sport.
Why didn't they try to stop him? Because it's blood sport. You can't stop blood sport.
They showed up. It's the greatest thing in the world.
Their whole job was to fly to this fucking event to stop him from fighting. They get to the fight and they sit front row and are like cheering him on.
Hank doesn't understand blood sport. Hank, you get caught up in the show.
Yeah, I get that. It's blood sport.
I don't think you do, Hank. He doesn't get it.
Do you think the journalist was going to stop Bloodsport with, what, an article that was going to come out four months later because it's 1988? I just thought it was funny she was laughing. It was like, you're supposed to have this stance of, you just watch the guy die.
Yeah. And then she's sitting there like, oh, he's blind.
Ha, ha, ha. This guy just snapped a guy's neck 20 minutes ago.
I know what they're signing up for. I guess.
Hank shows up to Bloodsport and someone's got a runny nose. He's like, stop the fight.
I don't think he's got a concussion. Yeah.
Oh, we got to protect the players. Who do you think was the favorite in the final? Oh, Chung Lee.
We got to put him in protocol. Yeah, Chung Lee was big time.
PFT would have made an investment in Chung Lee. Yeah.
Probably minus 2,000. I mean, he killed two guys, Hank.
Yeah. Max, you hated it.
No, it was fine. It was just...
Nah, he hated it. He told me he hated it.
It's just one of those movies that you have it on and you're on your phone and you're... No.
You lose the plot. You lose the plot.
It's the easiest plot in the world. There is no plot.
Big men fight each other. Yeah, well, I mean, you know the plot, but it's like you're not paying attention.
I mean, in that sense, it was like, all right, I can look up, watch some fighting. I do love – I kept saying it.
I love Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, Ray Jackson.
He does look like – yeah, he's Ben Roethlisberger. Ben Roethlisberger mixed with mankind.
He's great. He goes up – Just a ridiculous move.
He goes up to that girl on the bus. He's like, you ever been with a big man before? Yeah.
I actually think if this movie was more realistic, he would win. Yeah.
He was so much bigger than everybody else. Just smashing everyone.
Well, he celebrated too early. And then Chung Lee did too.
Chung Lee did a little celebration. Again, foreshadowing.
They make sure they get that. If we did blood sport today, if the Saudis put together a big investment said, we're going to do the last one to live tour.
And we're going to bring people across the globe to compete. I think, I still think Steven Seagal might win.
Yeah. Agreed.
Or Jean-Claude. To this day.
Yeah. Arnold.
Frank Dukes. Well, actually real Frank Dukes.
That's true. I mean, he would He would say that he won He's never lost I love that they found the trophy It was just a random trophy shop He was just like, hey, here it is Guy rules He's kind of a legend, actually Yeah For a different reason than what Like, he's a legend because he lied about all this stuff And they made a fucking movie about him But Big Cat, what if everything he said was true and you're just buying into the fake news media it's true no like there

are people out to discredit him because the cia if they created a super soldier like that they could not acknowledge it that's true we don't want our enemies to know that we've got a dozen frank dukes that are stationed in fort bragg right now yeah ready to be deployed at the drop of a hat He produced a picture of his his medals and stuff and the army was like you're a marine you claim to be a marine so he said he had a medal of honor he had a medal of honor from the army and all of his uh awards were out of order so he was like well i don't know why they put it that way and then like a couple years later he he's like, well, it was a costume I was wearing. It was a Halloween costume.

It wasn't my actual costume.

I was actually putting on a Halloween costume of a soldier

who's less decorated than I am in real life.

So I didn't know how to put on all those inferior awards.

He just keeps putting up shots.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

Frank Dukes, come on the podcast.

We'll just ask him all the questions.

See how crazy he'd be.

All right.

So let's do Firefest. Max.com.
Go check out Max.com. Awesome.
Awesome movie. Go watch.
I had some idea. What are we doing next week? We're doing 38 at the Garden, right? Jeremy Lin.
Lin Sanity. Sports.
Sports. Blood sports.
I had an idea. What if we did blood sport but at a rough and rowdy? It was an international rough rough and rowdy yeah like the bat find the baddest human on the planet i'm down that's why they call it blood sport yeah what you still don't understand no i i literally wrote in my notes light bulb went off yeah when you still don't get it don't get it do not get it uh okay let's do fire fest go check out Max.com.
We have 38 at the Garden next week.

Review on Friday's show.

Very excited. Jeremy Lin.
Okay, Hank, Fyre Fest. Last night, late, I went to a driving range.
And it's like 25 minutes away from me. I've gone enough that I've memorized the route.
I don't even need the directions. And on the way back the road to get on to, you know, the highway I needed to get on was closed for construction.
So it took me, it took me on a detour. I pulled out my phone, put in and then I didn't even look at it.
I was, you know, I just clicked it was listening to Google directions and said it was 30 minutes away. I was like, that makes sense.
Drove 30 minutes. It took me to the same address, uh, in like deep in New Jersey, like a different town.
I hate when that happens. And it was because I was on a detour.
So I wasn't, you know, I didn't really know that I wasn't going the right way. I was just kind of usually don't go this way.
Follow directions. Don't, don't look up.
And then I got, I was getting close. Like you're finding its way.
I was like, I don't feel like i know where i am at all yeah and then i looked it up and i was a solid 50 minutes away from my destination which is in total like 20 minutes away have you guys ever done that in an uber yeah but but you're so ashamed that as you're getting close i talked about on the show you don't say anything i've done that actually in new jersey before i was going someplace and then i realized when i was maybe five minutes away i'm 40 minutes away from where i need to be and i was just so ashamed that i was like okay yeah this is it you can let me out yeah yeah i started going over the brooklyn bridge once and i was like well i was going to manhattan yeah like this is not correct you feel like such an idiot you can't say anything yeah you can't so that was uh yeah that was just a Long detour. Yeah.
Okay. PFT? My Fyre Fest of the week is that I forgot about darts.
Yeah. I forgot about darts.
Darts is this weekend. I've got tickets to it, so I'm going to go with the boys to go see darts at MSG.
It's going to be incredible. What's the Fyre Fest? Well, the big Fyre Fest, Hank, is that when it's darts time, when it it's darts weekend all the boys get dressed up to get a darts you put on an awesome costume you wear a track suit i feel like your day-to-day outfits like kind of are on brand i'm dead serious you're wearing black blue and red no i'm not i'm wearing dark blue robak pants they're a great sponsor i'm wearing mountains or those are dark blue yeah those look black get your eyes fixed These are dark, dark blue.ac pants.
They're a great sponsor. I'm wearing mountains or blue.
Those are dark blue? Yeah.

Those look black.

Get your eyes fixed, Hank.

These are dark, dark blue.

No, those are not.

They might be dark blue.

Okay, so even if they are black, then I'm wearing black and blue, which is totally normal.

And red.

But I was supposed to wear-

And orange shoes.

All right, cut it out.

I'm just saying.

What are you doing here, Hank?

PFC, I have something for you, though, because I was going to go to darts, but I realized

I just can't. Max also is not going to darts, which sucks.
What? He let everyone down, yeah. Why not? How is Max not going to darts? I don't know how this is coming up on this show.
He said he's going to darts. I know that you're not going to darts.
I've been defending myself for the past 24 hours. I've had this planned for the last six months that I'm going to darts.
Yeah, I know. You're going to take my spot.
I'm willing to hand over the title as dart father to you. No, I already bought you're not giving me the spot.
I bought my own ticket. I know, but I'm giving you dart father.
The title of dart father. Did you buy a ticket, Max? Yes, I'm not going.
Why not? Because it's a long time. He doesn't like darts anymore.
That's not true. You're not a needlehead.
I'm moving this weekend. I thought you moved on Wednesday.

No, but I have all of the things.

He's living out of his car right now.

I'm living out of my car right now, and I need –

I'm paying so much money for my car to be in this city.

I need to take all of the things that are in my car,

drop it off at my parents, and we're recording late tomorrow –

or we have an interview late tomorrow.

I'm not going to get down to, like, 10, and I don't feel like –

These are a lot of words to say that you don't like darts. Either way, Max is a doesn't like darts anymore pft i was going to go to darts but i really can't uh but i did buy a shirt that you can wear it's double xl yeah and it says it's got two dart boards where the breasts are it says uh stop looking at my boards okay doesn't even make sense i like a.
I like that. Boards mean no one says boards for tits, but it's great.
I might. You know what? I've got in the office right now.
I'd like you to wear that shirt. I've got.
Can you wear that shirt? I might wear two shirts because I've got the one that says I got my ass eaten at the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid in Memphis, Tennessee. That's not darts.
That's a pretty good. That's a pretty good shirt, though.
But you got to wear a dart shirt. You can have my dart shirt.
Yeah. It's going to look great uh so you guys aren't going no one knowing this room's going i just don't think i can i have a wedding you're gonna you're gonna miss darts for a wedding i may still go but i've got an extra i probably i've got an extra ticket yeah last year when i went i put in that future thinking it was the day of and it cashed eight months later so you won money can you give me a pick for darts? Van Gerwen or Smith.
Okay. All right.
Yeah. I'm going to ride.
It's Michael Smith. Might be Michael Van Gerwen.
Yeah, Max. What about pants? Max does not like darts.
For darts pants, you got to have fire darts pants. Yeah.
Hank, do you have those pants that make you look like a cartoon train engineer? I actually got rid of those. I wish I should have given them to you.
Max, did your pants make the move? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
The pants are already in storage. If I give you a pair of pants that I brought, you can puke on them real quick, and then I'll just wear those.
Yeah, sure. I never puked on pants.
That's actually true. You puked into the water bottle and some of the water bottles.
A little bit on my shirt. Just a little bit on my shirt.
Okay. That's fair.
I'm sorry. All right.
My Fyre Fest is pretty simple. I ate 20 pieces of bread yesterday, and I have felt full for 24 hours.
Cardboard for darts. Also, there was a video of me, and I look comically fat.
And Booger's bullying me again. I'm just going to go on a Zempick.
I don't fucking care. I'm going to do it.
Is that the shot? Yeah. I'm going to do it.
And I'm going to tell everyone to do it. And then I'm going to look hot.
And then I'll get off of it. And then I'll gain it all back.
What does it matter? You could cool sculpt. I could cool sculpt.
Shave that in some abs. I mean, Charles Barkley's doing the Majora or whatever.
He's getting skinny as fuck. Booger's quote was, you don't look fat, my brother.
You are fat. Yeah.
Make sure you correct those who say the wrong thing. It's angles, though.
Yeah. It's angles.
No, there was also the problem. Someone was like, I've never seen someone.
No, this video is insane. They're like, I've never seen someone look fat in a black T-shirt.
No, this video is insane. It's really fat.
What about the Spanx? I wasn't wearing Spanx because I had to eat the bread. This looks like you're wearing one of those skin-tight, like, Under Armour shirts, but it's not.
It's so bad. My belly was so far.
I couldn't suck in my belly because I had so much bread in it and then my tits and everything shut up it's like you're wearing a wetsuit i know i'm just i didn't see this video that booger i saw booger's cool but yeah it looks like you're wearing uh you're going surfing okay hank we got it we got the picture he doesn't understand blood sport no that's why they call it blood sport no you don't know why know why it's called blood sport. Yeah, I think I'm going to do Ozepic.
Do it. What if you get too skinny, though? You can't do Jonah Hill.
No, what I was going to do is I'm going to do Ozepic for like two months, drop like 25 pounds, and then just slowly gain it back. Okay.
Because then it doesn't feel as, you know. Be skinny for the summer, and then football season, all football season all bets are right but i'll always get fat again but just i need my problem is i i am incapable of getting skinny again so i need to help i'm gonna say something nice about chicago people there aren't as big as i thought they'd be but the thing is like across the board they're like five percent bigger yeah everyone's which is healthy because in New York, everyone's 15% too small.
Yeah, they're chic. Yeah, the models in New York, it's gross.
People not jaywalk in Chicago? Yeah, they do. Okay.
Why? Because you know sometimes in New York it's common. Well, New York is like, there is no laws.
Right, like when a car's not coming, people cross the street. Yeah, yeah.
I did that in Chicago. No one followed me and the people on the other side where I was walking towards were giving me a look.
And I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah.
Badass. I think people might not jaywalk in Chicago.
I think New York is just like. Boston too.
If you go to Williamsburg, like people don't even recognize cars. They just walk in front of your car while you're driving.
You run into that one person at every crosswalk that like you step out a little bit into the street while you still have the don't walk sign and somebody goes out like two yards further than you yes and stands in waves like in the middle of traffic yes for the light to change i actually had a very jaywalking city in america an extra fire fest i was went to the central park zoo with my kids on saturday and we were leaving and uh my son like stepped a little bit into the street and i yelled at him very forcefully like get back on the sidewalk. And there was a UPS delivery woman standing next to him.
And she looked at, she was like, what did you just say to me? I was like, wait, that wasn't for you. She thought I was yelling at her.
When you, when you started that off with, I went to the zoo and my young son got too close. And so I thought we were going to have another Harambe situation.
Central Park zoo. All the fucking the fucking animals are asleep.
It was terrible. They were all fucking asleep.
What were you listening to, Max? Something about darts sucking? Yeah, I just got tagged in a clip. I'm getting shots from all directions about not going to darts.
There's another show that's talking about me not going to darts. Can I be the temporary dart father? I just said I want you to have the title of the dart father.
What's being dart you just have to walk you have to walk you can't just give it up and come back okay so no i'm not taking it back i do a big march yeah yeah like the bushwhacker like bushwhacker like the guy from ohio state that leads the band out yeah okay yes and you have to say i'm very fired up for darts and then just and then you just have to start a chant going in to the stadium just saying darts. So darts, darts, darts, darts, darts, d if i if i think i'm too drunk i'm not drunk enough correct okay If I think I'm too drunk, I'm not drunk enough.

Correct.

I'll drink my way through being drunk.

Although I'm a little worried.

It's turned into a whole thing.

This year there's going to be cameras everywhere.

It's too mainstream for me.

That's also why.

You liked darts before everyone else liked darts.

And now you're just hopping on the bandwagon.

But you're still the dart father. I bought tickets last year.
I couldn't go. Yeah.
All right. Great show.
See everyone Monday. Numbers.
69. 18.
Billy was so mad. That's the thing about Billy is he genuinely gets angry.
Yeah. If somebody takes his little sex joke ball.
Right. It's great.
We got to start doing that all the time.

We got to take it every time because it's it's he was like pre raging in the studio.

Like because it's crazy.

It's 69.

What did you take?

I took 18.

Okay.

Max 20. 49

that would have been awesome

alright everyone have a great weekend

we'll see you on Monday

love you guys

bears are fucking

hairy and cool

a shark has never ran there. I'll be coming for your love of tea Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And I'll be coming for Needless to say I'm all the same But I'll be so little way No, then life is okay Say up to me It's been better to be safe than sorry To be safe than sorry To be safe than sorry To be safe than sorry Hey.
Take me I'll be gone. I'll be gone.
I'll be gone. Things that you say, yeah, is it liable? Just to play my worries away.
You're all the things I've got to remember. And you're shying away.
Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone. I'll be gone.