Nuggets HC Michael Malone, Comedian Big Jay Oakerson, Celtics Lose Game 7 And Hank Is Down Bad + Success Finale Recap

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we got a twofer for the people. Nuggets head coach, Michael Malone, awesome interview with him, and then Big Jay Oakerson, incredible stand-up comedian, he's got a new special out.
He was in studio, so an extra long part of my take remember we only have tuesday and friday this week so if you want to save some for wednesday you can we have game seven celtics heat we're going to talk about that game where hank's head is at also maybe someone getting a random smooch over the weekend.

Who's back the week and succession finale series finale. So we'll talk about that after the interview.
So if you haven't watched it, just don't listen to the last 10 minutes of the show because there will be spoilers before we do all of that. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And there's not lots of work to be done No place to a lot of washing. And then I can't blame all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
heat we're gonna get to every single angle hank jake max who was a boston celtics fan for one game and one game only but pft i gotta start with you because you have to feel incredible relief for your bet the 10 000 to win a thousand when you bet the heat up 3-0 and the panthers up 3-0 cash is is got to be the biggest relief of all time.

It was an investment, Big Cat.

It wasn't a bet.

The mission was always to make 10% ROI on your investment.

It had never happened before in the history of the NBA.

And there's a reason why I didn't do this bet

if it was a six-game series.

You need seven games.

You need that extra cushion there to win.

So this all fell into the model statistically. It was exactly where I wanted to be.
It's no different than if we had won game four, that we won game seven. It's 10%.
Then we collect, we regroup, we move on. I need Carl Nassib though, to tell me how many times I need to make this bet before I become a quadrillionaire, like the compound interest.
I don't know how that works, but I'm pretty sure if I take the squarest parlay of all time at 10% ROI, eventually I'll be the richest man on earth. So I'm waiting to hear how I can, I guess, advance and use my winnings to make more money.
But it wasn't about me. It wasn't about the bet.
I actually, I hated to win the bet that way when you had Jason Tatum go down with a sprained ankle on the first play of the game, pretty much don't refer you that he was not going to be himself on defense he wasn't moving at all on offense every shot that he was taking it was like he was he was thinking really hard before every single shot trying to will his way to be able to get a little bit of elevation on any shot so it was tough you don't want to win that way if i if i could give the money back i would because it felt dirty honestly winning

winning that 10 that way yeah it's uh warren buffett the guy from wolf of wall street and pft the greatest investors of our time um let's talk to hank should we pft should we talk to hank well we can talk to hank i don't know if he's going to talk back to us good good point we we we do not know if Hank will partake in today's pardon my take coming off an L,

uh,

Henry. to Hank I don't know if he's going to talk back to us good good point we we do not know if Hank will partake in today's pardon my take coming off an L uh Henry yeah you're trending on Twitter some are saying that you ended the stream early I didn't okay in the stream did end early PFT I don't push the buttons uh factor fiction where are you at mentally why don't you tell us how you're feeling? And please do elaborate.
Use your words as much. The beauty of a podcast is there are no commercial breaks.
That's true. Big cat.
I'm here as I always am. I'm always ready to give my takes.
I'm feeling very disappointed. Uh, there was a lot of excitement going into the game.
It almost felt like people from Boston were a little bit too sure the Celtics were going to win everyone was already kind of counting the Red Sox and Celtics as the first two teams to ever come back from three nothing before it actually happened not you I was expecting them to come out I was expecting them to come out uh too you know anxious or ready to blow the doors off and and miss some shots and that happened I wasn't surprised in the first quarter second quarter and quarter. And then the third quarter, they had a run.
They had the momentum. The crowd was in it.
They were getting defensive stops, and they just could not make a shot. They had some really, really bad turnovers, a lot of turnovers, I think like 14 or 15, and they just could not hit a shot.
Obviously, Tatum going down in the first play, not going to make excuses, but that's never what you want. And besides Derek White, no one was hitting shots.
So let me ask you a question. Not to make excuses, because Tatum's injury was real.
Like, you could see he was hobbled. He was not the same.
But you brought up a point that you thought a lot of people were saying game seven was over. over like you guys were good walk me through saturday night when derrick white makes that put back one of the most insane endings to an nba game with the stakes as high as they could be you yourself are not thinking we got this oh i absolutely did oh i was i was i was okay listen i said it after game four it It felt like, again, it did.
There was a lot of comparisons to 2004. They got blown out game three.
Then they get it to seven. And then in game seven, obviously that was a blowout.
So obviously that's how you felt. We've been in this way before.
And in game seven, we blew them out. I was confident.
I felt like we had all the momentum on our side and we did. And then our star player got hurt And we couldn't.
It's not even. There's no excuses to be made.
They just missed every single shot. Live by the three, die by the three.
And they died by the three. Game six was unbelievable.
PFT. I was with PFT.
Just that win and the day after did. It did feel like a game seven win.
It felt like a series win. I was basking in it.
I it i truly was i mean the way that you won game six is almost better than winning the series that was just such an incredible that's true and coming back like yeah counts essentially is a win no see i i said that too that's that's the true hard part of being a boston sports fan that people always make fun of us for but we we lost a game seven at home to an eight seed uh in hockey we lost a game seven at home to an eight seed in basketball is there anyone in this room that roots for both those teams wait were they both it was both from the same part of the country yep is there anyone in this room who has just complete ownership of henry lockwood jake marsh oh no jake that guy he owned you yeah can you say it south florida boston what will you say what i just said jake marsh owns henry lockwood yeah jake marsh jake marsh owns henry lockwood i had all the momentum i had pfts really stupid bet and then max i had you know obviously we'll get to, the dumbest video and funniest video maybe in the history of this podcast, and it just sucks so much that it doesn't matter as much because the Celtics lost a series. If the Celtics had won that series, I would, I mean, I'm still going to relive that video many times.
Oh, yeah. If they had won the series, it just would have been so much sweeter, and it sucks.
It's a disappointment. As fun as the series was, as fun as Saturday night was, it's a letdown.
They should have been in that spot. They win game one or two, and then they could have won the series in six.
It's USA losing the gold is what happened. Yeah.
Because you had the moment. You had the iconic moment in game six.
You had the iconic kiss heard around the world with Max and his bro.

And all of it gets just kind of erased from history.

Except the Max and the kiss.

That will come up often.

Do you want to explain it?

Yeah, we could explain it.

So in game six, the Derek White game, which was insane.

The Celtics almost blew that game.

That's the other part of that game.

The Celtics shouldn't have even been in that position. If Duncan Robinson makes makes a wide open three one of two shots that he had at the end then then we're not even talking about game seven and by the way we were wrong we said that game six was game seven we said that game five was game six game seven was game seven it's true and that was a good lesson yeah game seven is always game seven that was the true must win by the, next time we have Duncan Robinson on, Jake, remind me to ask him.
I think on that three he shot with like a minute and 40 left, he shouldn't have dribbled. He dribbled once, and he was in.
When he caught the ball, he was in perfect rhythm to just rise and shoot. He had one dribble, and I think that took him out of his rhythm.
Just put a pin in that one but so back to Saturday night incredible I it wasn't an incredible game I actually was sitting on my couch being like what did I just watch because it felt like both teams wanted to lose and it wasn't well played but it had the most insane ending ever because you had Jimmy Butler terrible for 44 minutes that he played he played 46 last two minutes he scores 10 points gets the the three-point foul hits all three free throws to go up wait a second it was a two-point foul that missoula challenged which into a three-point but then got you the the 0.9 seconds back yeah yeah and yeah it was it was a dumb challenge it did that was it was maybe the worst challenge of all time ever ever and so jimmy butler nails all three ice in his veins three seconds left uh ball out at half court marcus smart turns misses a shot misses a three pointer and derrick white gets to the rebound where he was like he was the inbounder gets to the rebound, puts it up in, in with no time left on the clock. Maybe the most ridiculous ending.
Cause everyone was watching Marcus smart miss and being like series over game over, everything's over. And Derek White just snuck in there and did it.
Meanwhile, uh, we're, so I'm on my couch, PFT and Hank are watching together Saturday night, holiday weekend. We're not streaming.
Max decided that content is king, which I want to give him a little. If we had Buckeye stickers, we could put on our helmets.
Max gets a couple of cameras on his helmet for Saturday night because he had he could have done nothing. He could have enjoyed his weekend.
He could have been at the bar doing nothing but having fun. Instead, he decided to do live reaction videos.
So not live. He didn't go live.
He took the video, then he posted it on Twitter. He posted the video of Marcus Smart missing and Derek White hitting the shot.
Of him, like, being happy and then being like, holy shit, Derek White got this in time mixed in there his boy boyfriend just my boy all right I just want to get it right we're about to be in pride month we're about to be in pride month okay all right that was something I was curious I was hoping it was a random sneaks the softest most sensual kiss on Max's ear it was like the tiniest littlest kiss it was the kiss it was the kiss you you kiss before you get your dick sucked that's what the kiss was and uh not only does max have that kiss happen but then he posts the video again no need to post anything uh and it will live in lore of this show forever. PFT, when you saw it, I mean, your reaction was probably the same.
Like, I watched it. I stayed up.
There's little moments where, like, I talk about being tired because of my kids, but when I have to actually, like, break it down, I'm not tired because of my kids. I'm tired because Max gets centrally kissed by his boy at 1130 at night, and then I stay up till 130 reading all the replies and people roasting Max.
That's why I'm really tired. That's the problem.
So first of all, what was Max doing even filming himself for this? Like, I agree with you. I'm glad that it happened.
Max is not. He's not a heat fan.
He's just trying to claw back a little tiny bit of self-respect after having to shave his face because Hank beat him. So he starts live-streaming.
He's not live-streaming. He takes the video and he's getting his loser's stench all over the Heat.
I was so fucking mad at Max for putting his loser-ness and the entire Philly sports fan thing onto the Miami Heat. Completely fucked everything up at the end.
He had no business doing that. I'm glad, again, I'm glad he did.
What happened tonight? I'm glad he did. So tonight, we had a little word on the part of my take text thread before the game.
You haven't even said thank you yet. And thank you, Max.
I asked Max to start rooting for the Celtics because I can't have him rooting for Miami. I need him rooting for the Celtics in order to fully support our friend Jake in the Miami Heat.
And yeah, maybe my $10,000. I almost said the B word investment that I had.
But Max, it was, I, I just couldn't believe what I saw. I was like, why is Max, why is Max doing this? Why is the all time on first air? Yeah.
Putting that up. But, but again, I'm very glad that it happened.
Yes. And Max did do a phenomenal job of being a Celtics fan tonight tonight his last tweet tonight was damn thought we had it always next year hashtag boston celtics which i don't think i've ever seen anyone hashtag the entire team name uh but hold on timeout timeout i'm gonna take a uh eric spolstra timeout where he just walks on the court and demands a timeout, which is the most power move of all time.
I realize what just happened here. Hank just did a really good job of deflecting what was going to be the sadness of Hank onto Max, which I'm happy we took that detour.
But why don't we go back to Hank? I do. After me, I need to hear from Max.
I need to hear about the next morning or, it set in that he took a video of his boy kissing him on the cheek. Did you know the kiss happened? I don't think I knew that the kiss happened.
It was very soft. It was so sensual.
It was so sensual. It was a very soft kiss.
Yeah. It was like, babe, let's get an Uber and get out of here.
Number one, I don't really know why I was taking those videos. I think in the moment, I was like, it had the makings of an epic Boston collapse.
And part of that made it feel like it was going to be a win for me. And I was like, I need to capture this moment of this win.
Like, I don't get these often.

And then it started. You wouldn't have gotten it.
It wasn't your team. I know.
No, but. Yeah, I know.
That's how big of a loser you are. You know what this is? Max is to Hank as Big Cat is to Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah. You were trying, but you can't celebrate until the banner's raised.
I know. And then I took that video, and I can't even tell you if I remember the kiss or not.

Oh, you'll never forget that. So then, yeah, walk me through the next morning.

Yeah, what did the guy say?

No, I mean, instantly.

When did you realize what you had done?

It started to blow up, and I was like, do you understand what you just did?

And he's like the guy in my friend group who's just always – he's just the bit guy. He's always kissing you? Yeah.
No, he's just always doing – He's like jerking you off, like doing weird shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that guy.
Yeah, yeah, he's that guy. Yeah, but I had to post a video.
It was a funny video.

I didn't have to post a video.

What did he say after?

Did he explain the kiss?

Did he say anything about the kiss? No, he still hasn't given me an explanation for why he did it.

I think he just saw that I was recording.

And kissed.

And then it was like, it'll be so funny if I, in his mind, ruined this video with a kiss.

And he did.

He made the video.

Yeah, but he did the opposite.

In your eyes, he did the opposite.

I'm asking like, like. Does he do well? At all.
What? Like, does he do well in his profession? Yeah. He's great residential real estate in Philly.
Okay.

But I'm asking, like, what do PFT and I have to put up to have him just walk behind you

and kiss you all the time?

That's a good question.

I'd have to ask.

Mid-six figs?

I'd have to ask.

Have you ever kissed him back?

Obviously not.

I didn't even.

Well, no, that's not obvious.

That is not obvious.

That's true.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Is this the first time they've ever kissed you?

It also makes it worse that he looks so much similar to me, but just a better look.

Much better eyebrows.

Yeah.

His eyebrows are insane.

He gets those eyebrows done. Yeah.
Yeah. I'll put that out there in the world.
He gets those eyebrows professionally. Oh, you can tell.
First thing I noticed before the kiss. He's just got great brows.
We should go back to Hank, though, for a second. Yeah, no, we should go back to Hank for a long time.
I do have some questions for you, Hank. Yes, I do, too.
Hank, would you have rather gotten swept or lost game seven in heartbreaking fashion at home after thinking that you were about to win game seven and complete really like the the uh red sox how long is the patriots super bowl 28-3 like the boston triple crown of comebacks i would have rather lost game seven okay i'll go question. Hank, do you regret any of your actions,

notably being silent during losses and a cocky asshole during wins?

No, that's, I mean, this is just a, that's, that's fan fiction made up by you.

I've never been that.

I've been on every stream.

I think the fans, I've done every stream.

I've answered on every single podcast.

I'm happy when they win.

I'm sad when they lose with that.

If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

I know what you want me to say. Sad slash mute mute What does that mean? Was I sad slash mute tonight? No, because you knew the fire was on You knew you had to show up Well, you did that in the stream early Next follow-up question That was a biased question What? That was a biased Objection I wasn't biased I was just asking a question It's just fact or fiction leading question words permitted are higher after women after a loss leading question yeah uh okay where do the celtics go from here because i'll just throw a couple things out there al horford is old yep great great player great career uh but you saw it like in the series you didn't know some nights he just

was old uh and then he would all of a sudden al horford has this incredible knack of like being like 25 year old al horford when he did he block jimmy butler at the rim like insane shit uh al horford's old jalen brown does not know how to dribble i don't know if that's something he's going to learn. And then, I mean, Jason Tatum, obviously, I think Jason Tatum probably smells the best coming out of this run just because he did have moments where he was the alpha and he did get injured in this game.
But where do you go? And Marcus Smart. I don't know.
Do you keep rolling out the same thing year after year and not getting over the hump? Yeah, I mean, the Jalen Brown thing is interesting just because of the Supermax. If they give him the Supermax, then him and Tatum will be by far the most paid two players in the whole league.
He can't dribble. That was tonight when Tatum gets injured.
You kind of need Jalen Brown to go off. He tried.
He took a lot of shots. He didn't make a lot of them.
And, and yeah he was just a lot of turnovers a lot of turnovers he's so young that's it's just the the supermax thing is where it gets complicated i think i think i think you explore i think there's some exploring that has to be done okay coaching i think you have to look at the roster i don't think you touch tatum i really don't think you you touch jalen brown but if you know they can figure something out do you think maybe you learn how to dribble eventually because this did happen last year too it did happen last year the free throws happened last year the free throws happened this year I that's what's tough when you're this young of a team but it's almost like the early you know the magic with with Shaq and Penny it's like why would you split them up just because they're're so young. No, you're...
They went to the finals. They went to the Eastern Conference finals.
They went to Game 7. Obviously, two disappointing years, but...
You're in a weird spot. Do you blow it up with two NBA All-Star players that are, like, both under 26? No, you're in a weird spot because the Celtics, if you roll out the Celtics exactly the same, they're still a top-five team in the NBA.
I think that's confidently you can say that they have two incredibly uh talented young guys but there does feel like it's like running into a brick wall a little bit without at least some tweaks to the roster yeah yeah well the switching a coach too that's obviously yeah it's the same coach who knows that would be the fourth different coach in four years though and at some point you got, maybe it's the players. Although, he obviously didn't get fired.
Well, he did. But that was weird.
He would still be the coach if he could just not fuck. Right.
So if the Celtics had come back, taking game seven, got into the finals and had a respectable showing in the finals, like one, two games against the Nuggets, there would be chatter about keeping Missoula. They're making the decision for you.
You're to fire missoula this offseason so that's that's kind of a win right there i don't know i think brad likes him yeah and i so missoula's been obviously criticized a lot uh but if you actually put up his resume next to email doka it's not that dissimilar like they went i think what I think, what, the Celtics last year, they swept the Nets in the first round, then they went seven, then they went seven, and then they lost in the finals. I mean, this year, obviously, they went six in the first round, but they seven and seven.
They came up short tonight. But it wasn't like, I think, what, Missoula won more regular season games.
I'm just saying, like, if you look at it just objectively, both resumes, they're very similar, and the team is obviously very, very talented. So maybe he's the fall guy.
I don't know. Well, I'm looking at it like Ryan Day, Urban Meyer.
Yeah. Joe Missoula.
So I don't think you could, like, if Imei Odoka is coaching this team, I think that they win the the series I don't think that that's unreasonable to say that he's worth at least one extra game in a playoff series like this although Missoula got him back from down 3-0 like that also happened right like that I I think that if they got swept it's a no no-brainer because it felt like if they had given up in game four and it's like clearly this is not working but to be that close to history like he did something right in the last three games yeah yeah i mean they did win three games in a row like i i think it's not as cut and dry obviously as it would have been but i still think like the way especially that they looked like they were giving up at the end of game three was bad.

That's a position where like a good coach can at least drag effort out of guys in a game three when you're looking like you're about to go down three nothing in a series that you should win, that you're a big time favorite to win.

I think a decent coach at least gets some effort out of those guys at the time.

I'm just saying like if I were Hank, I would want to fire him.

Yeah.

So what Hank, if you're Brad Stevens,vens you're you are brad stevens for a day what do you do i explore you just explore you spend the whole day exploring yeah so i'm making some calls on the jersey shore on a saturday night yeah just explore yeah i started yeah i started trying to you know connect some dots see see what pieces we what we can do if there's a good if there's a good move you make't have to force anything. I don't think they don't have to force anything.
Like you said, if they come back. Yeah, they're a top five team.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, it's a weird spot to be in if you're like, know that you have a chance to be competing for titles, but also know that something is is a little off that something needs to change a little bit to get over that hump it's gotta make shots yeah it's a make or miss league uh i have a couple more questions for hank do you have a couple more pft you have any more for hank yeah yeah i've got a couple more okay go ahead okay uh hank do you think that jimmy butler is michael's son? No. But not a secret child.
Why not? I mean, anything's possible, I guess. Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
So it's possible. So you're not saying anything is possible.
Is there a 0% chance? No. Okay.
So there's a chance. Billy just perked up.
Billy's going to be like definitively yes. No, I was researching this over the weekend.

There's some very interesting pictures of his mother with Michael Jordan

around nine months before his conception.

There was pictures of his mother with Michael Jordan?

Yeah.

I see those pictures?

Yeah, that was the craziest part.

Okay.

Did you find these in the same website that you saw pictures of Mother Teresa

with Dr. Fauci?

I was going to say, I haven't seen these pictures, but'm gonna trust you billy at this one moment at this juncture uh what other questions you got for hank that was really the only last one that i had for him oh yeah do you think that do you think maybe you would have won this game if jason tatum had painted red paint onto his ankle after he hurt his ankle no i wish i don't know what you know the difference between the nfl and the nba is but patrick mahomes talked his ankle up and he went into halftime and they they juiced him up with some of the strongest shit ever he came out he was fine i was hoping that at halftime like that they were gonna you know make that same call get him that same same juice and he looked more hurt in the second half than the first i was i was really hoping for some halftime like yeah miracle yeah it is jimmy butler did turn his ankle like by my count 700 times in the last five weeks um it i don't know maybe jason like it he did look very injured i will say that like you can't you can't be like oh he he he looked fine and he just didn't show up. Like, he looked injured.
I just don't. We see sprained ankles a lot, and it's game seven.
Okay. That's what? What's wrong with what I said? I don't.
It sounds like you're trying to downplay the injury or say, like, I'm just, it's game seven. Leave it all out on the floor.
He literally did. I simply would have wanted it more.
Yeah. I would have taped up my ankle and been like i'm good to go i think jimmy butler's ankle wanted it more than jason

tatum's ankle one thing about me and pft if we turn our ankle we don't come out of a game seven

no never you would have to kill me you would have to kill me like a racehorse out there

uh okay hank my other questions where's your sadness at right now give it to me

Thank you. kill me you would have to kill me like a racehorse out there uh okay hank my other questions where's your sadness at right now give it to me out of 10 you've talked some shit i have talked some shit and like i said the you know i can't enjoy you can't enjoy game six really um i would say it's probably an eight eight eight out of ten yeah i mean the first of all you expect them in the beginning of the series to go to the championship like that's an expectation you you did have the quote that you went and scouted the eastern uh conference second round semifinals the knicks and the heat being like how does how how do we lose to either of these teams i said it's hard not to watch these two teams and not think about the finals which was fair the game The game was trash.
And so you expect to win the series before the series starts and you go down three nothing. And then when it's like we can do this again, 28 to three 2004 Red Sox, 2023 Celtics.
This would be amazing. Max got kissed.
This is going to be so funny. Like he did get kissed.
It went, you know, it's a double. It's a double.
It's a double sadness. What about, is there a feeling like, because you going into this game, you had the same feeling of like, you're going to do it because you've done it.
Now the shine is off a little. Does it give you hesitation next time you're trying to do something like this? No.
No? No. So you're unflappable in that regard.
Yeah, you got to fight. Okay, there's no loser creeping in your brain.
No, again, it'd be one thing if they lost or it'd be one thing if they obviously got beat. Well, they got killed.
They got killed tonight. They beat themselves.
They did not play a game that you needed to play in game seven to win. It wasn't even like the Heat.
Heat just hit their shots. The Celtics they had good they had in the first half they had way better opportunities and they just they missed everything everything you know it's crazy just a little sabermetrics it's been over four years since hanks had a parade damn it's a long ass time that's tough it's a long ass time um we should talk about the heat we should give the heat some shine and jake uh well let's start with you jake yeah so you got to be feeling very conflicted right now on one hand the heat won and pft won his bet on the other hand hank lost and he's your friend so you kind of don't wish you had this right nope this is scenario.
You know why? Why? Because the Heat are in the NBA Finals and the door's still open to play golf with Hank this month. Oh.
We're spending a lot of time together throughout June. So it's a perfect world.
So you should call him a loser. You're a loser.
Oh. He gave him the point.
He gave him the point. Did that hurt? That hurt.
This is perfect. We're going to be spending.
We're going to be on the road a lot throughout going to be on the road oh look at that even better this is great we're going to be playing a lot of golf together and the heat still won jake is back jake is back perfect it's awesome it was is that in this moment jake is being super extra polite to hank by saying by trying to tell him hey listen we experience all these wonderful times together but jake doesn't't realize that Hank's going to hate that because you're going to be a reminder of how much you dominated in these entire playoffs. Yeah, because they're going to go out and golf.
What do guys talk about when they golf? Sports. Sports.
NBA finals going on. What are we going to talk about? So it all worked out.
Jake, did you shake his hand? Yeah, he actually initiated it. Oh, that was good sportsmanship look at you yeah jake earned it i mean he had to battle off you and max that's not an easy thing to do what what was i doing i know i'm talking uh i'm talking about pft oh no my eyes are up here you were looking at big yeah you're looking at me sorry yeah uh yeah no he did have to battle off, although Max put on a game-severed performance.

Are you upset at Max at all?

No.

Okay, Max, what do you think the fixes are for your Celtics?

I can't describe.

Again, it sucks because they lost,

but the joy that that video brought me,

just the fact that he posted it in the first place

really gave me a lot of laughs on Sunday.

Max, what are the fixes for your Celtics?

First is stop talking about that video because Celtics lost and it doesn't matter.

Okay.

That still exists, though.

But you lost, so it's fine.

First, you've got to blow it up.

You've got to blow it up.

How many times can you get close?

I mean, as a Celtics fan, I cannot stand watching this team get so close year after year and then falling short. It's bullshit.
You didn't even shoot 40% from the field a game seven to go to the finals? Bullshit. I can tell Max is very upset.
It's not wrong. I mean, you got to do something.
We got to change something. This is Boston.
We're about winning championships in Boston. All right? None of this close shit.
Next year, though. We're supposed to be title town, Max.
We are supposed to be title town. That's the one thing about Bostonoston is we're fucking title town baby

it'd be so perfect if the celtics listened to max's advice and did some drastic moves blew the team up but made great moves and then came back and beat the fuck out of six yes yes i mean that wouldn't change a single thing this guy knows ball all right so let's talk about the heat though That was, I mean, I, for one, thought the Celtics were going to win game seven because, like, you can't have a more devastating game six ending and have it be 3-3 after you have all these chances to close it out. I did think, though, when Spolster came to the press conference after game six, and he was like, it actually sounded like the dude online who's trying to sell real estate or 10X or whatever, where you're like, you don't even believe this bullshit.
He was like, it's just great competition. We look forward to being able to compete one more time.
As crazy as it sounds, though, it was smart of him because you have to just essentially just pretend none of that happened and go play game seven. Whereas, like, I know personally, if I were the coach of the team that had just lost like that, it was three three.
I'd have been like, it's over. We're dead.
We shouldn't even show up. Fuck this.
Like, this is all bullshit and cry into a little puddle and just melt away as all the reporters try to ask me questions. Yeah, I mean, I mean, Spolsterster definitely deserves credit i think they said that he's been to the final six of the last what 15 years it's crazy in the nba yeah it's crazy thing now obviously some of those were were lebron james and dwayne wade on your team but he's he's a great coach but he he gets some credit but caleb martin gets most of the credit tonight so caleb martin unreal I think he was the he was the worst of the Martin twins right I think his brother got drafted Caleb didn't but then Caleb now is about to make like a hundred million dollars just based on this series it's insane what he was able to do out there one fun thing about him because I know you used to watch his games when he was on yeah he was.
Yeah. He was a double wolf pack.
He went to NC State. Yes.
He was on their wolf pack. He went wolf pack to wolf pack.
Yes. In college.
Yeah, he's awesome. He like just remembering from watching those Nevada games like I would bet on him and they would always make it thrilling in the fact that they would like be down and then they would just start raining threes and the martin brothers would get going he was incredible he was the best player on the court

for long stretches of this game and the series there was a moment where it was like legitimately

uh caleb martin versus derrick white because derrick white did which like he he tried to

will the celtics back into this game but yeah the heat like i i just don't like as as much as you

Thank you. which like he tried to will the Celtics back into this game.
But yeah, the heat, like I just don't, like as much as you like want to give them, I don't know how to give them the proper credit for, because like at one point they kind of blew this, but to be able to get off the mat in game seven and have that kind of performance was incredible. Like they looked so gassed.
Jimmy looks so gassed. like derrick white at the beginning of this series jimmy was eating him alive by game six derrick white was completely shutting him down he thought like there's no way the heat are going to be able to win this game and what they showed tonight heat culture it is it it's as thriving as thriving could be there's never been a worse call than when i said heat culture was dead yeah very much alive i i just think that the heat are you you can't even you don't you don't need to say undrafted when talking about the heat anymore they're just good they've just got a lot of really good players they develop the fuck out of them somehow they've got a great system in place for that but they're just good and they scare me a little bit as you know if you're if you're watching the nuggets and you're rooting for the nuggets which i think that we are uh with the exception of our darling jake um the heat should scare you it's not about them being a fluke anymore it's not about anything weird going on they're not getting like lucky breaks here and there although obviously tatum's injury on the first play of the game that was a good break for the heat but the heat are just a fucking good basketball team all around and they've got guys that step up when their stars aren't playing well and i'm i'm a little bit afraid of the heat in the finals as an as a long time three-year nuggets fan they scare me just because they got they got some bullshit going on and they like i what was the stat we had it a while ago where they like the amount of games that they've won being down 10 in these playoffs alone i think eight or nine of them like duncan robinson even duncan robinson that game six he misses two wide open threes that could have put the heat in the nba finals and then he comes back tonight and and hits some big big shots like the entire team is just completely unflappable and there's nothing that can bother them.
And I do think it starts with Spoh and Jimmy Butler. And Jimmy Butler did show up tonight where it looked like he had ran out of gas and he had one last push.
And yeah, I mean, Jake, what did we miss? The heat are fucking good. It's true culture winning this game because Hank is disgusted by this.
Pretty much any other team, like you said, Big Cat, I don't know how you physically bounce back from as devastating as a loss as you experienced in game six. Look at when the Ray Allen shot the next game.
Like the Spurs fought, but we knew that he were winning that game. I really thought the Celtics were going to win this game just based off momentum, but that's culture.
Spoh, Spoh, right after they lost game six, he's like, we want to tip this thing off right now. Right.
They were not backing down. I knew they wouldn't lay an egg, but I didn't expect this.
Yeah. Hank? Me neither.
Culture. Yeah, Tatum got hurt.
Tatum got hurt. That's culture.
That. Why did the Celtics not have Kevin Millar, Bill Miller, Uclus, David Ortiz, Tim Wakefield, Johnny Damon? Why weren't all those guys sitting courtside for this year? Johnny Damon, was that a game or two ago? Yeah, that was a miss.
I thought they were going to roll them out, too. I don't know if they weren't around or they couldn't make the trip but do you think the game goes different if you and dave are sitting on the wood because dave had 104 fever so he couldn't make it to the game you got to think that things go a little different yeah you never know you never know what you can do yeah i'm on that floor what was the text you sent to try to get on the wood i didn't send a text to try and get on the wood what was the text you sent to get on the wood was it a ha ha no i mean me and dave text after games we just texted after the game and what did you say we were like wouldn't it be crazy if we went to no no no we only we only texted after the game was like that was crazy on real wind you know back and forth normal stuff and then i was just you know hoping you never know obviously i'm very grateful to ever have gone once i don't care if i never go again but i was like he's gonna if he goes he's gonna take someone maybe text me so i was just kind of like you're like hey you see max and his boy that could be us on the wood getting the phantom vibrates in my phone be like can you text me and at least he was you know he was sick but that doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah it doesn't matter if we kissed in the garden yeah this could be us he sent him a meme of max in his boy no i hope i mean i hope day feels better that that that does hurt yeah you know we should we should actually bring that guy on for any any like heartbreaking loss that guy should have to come on the show and give the kiss of death to one of us yes technically the celtics have yet to win a game since that kiss has been posted that is true kiss of death for for i i mean i guess as a celtics fan it would be the kiss of death all right this is like when i tried to be a lebron james stand for like a week and it just goes against every fiber of your being all right so we do have nuggets coach michael malone coming up we're going to talk a little uh basketball with him nba finals is set heat nuggets i'm very excited i think it's gonna be an awesome series uh pump for this i know that the ratings police are going to be so mad they also are going to be mad about the stanley cup final which we have the knights the the vegas knights going up against the florida panthers no overlap by the way for heat and panthers what do you mean the stanley cup and the nba finals not one day overlap so it's okay that was important i was worried for a second well for south florida yeah no i was worried i was worried yeah to the games.
No double hunters. Yeah, he's going to be going nuts.
Yeah. So we did put in the synopsis on Friday.
I wrote it at like one in the morning, and I was like Stanley Cup final set. Heard a lot of people being like, not true.
So thank you to the Vegas Knights for showing up tonight and winning six to nothing. And it was never a doubt.
So we had almost like it was crazy because as the stars win tonight we would have had another 3-0 comeback game seven but the knights were too good and they said fuck this we're done with this shit stop fucking around yeah i mean the knights the knights are a fun team for root for i i love how much the city of las vegas just straight up embraced right off the bat they became like an institution in ve Vegas. Yeah.
Year one. Mark Davis goes to the games, sits behind the ice, puts on his white suit.
He looks fantastic. The two cities with maybe the most cocaine done per capita.
Vegas, Miami, playing against each other in Stanley Cup. Brooks will be on his best behavior.
That didn't have anything to do with the previous sentence, just saying that Brooks will be on his best behavior. And Alec Martinez, our guy.

We've become Knights fans for a week, and look at them now.

They're in the Stanley Cup final.

Hank, what were you just looking at your phone for?

Nothing.

What were you just scrolling?

What were you doing?

Let us know.

See something, say something.

I saw something.

Say something. I saw something, you say something.

I didn't see anything. I saw a stat.
What was it was the game seven stat what was it peruans and celtics both lost game sevens at home to 18 florida team is that true who roots for them jake marsh your daddy they the celtics beat the heat last year in game seven what are you gonna what are you to get Jake for Father's Day? Nothing. You should.
You should get him something. I won't.
You should. He's got to win a fucking championship.
Okay. A wrestle means nothing.
Ooh. Okay.
Don't be careful with that. It's true.
I think I got two chances. It also goes against the kiss video that we want to live forever.
Two weeks. Yeah we got to be careful with that talk okay okay kiss video has got to stay i mean it's staying it doesn't matter we're never forgetting that no no it's our 9-11 that that actually it it overshadowed the last second shot no yes my my sunday again like it doesn't just really like it hurts because i was really really looking forward to the celtics winning and then really really being able to land to it, my Sunday, again, it doesn't really hurt because I was really, really looking forward to the Celtics winning and then really, really being able to lay into it.
But my Sunday morning, I was like, oh, I'll move some stuff on Saturday, move some stuff on Sunday. I spent all Sunday morning just switching back and forth between Derek White, all the different angles and all the different heat reactions, and then just Max video like for a solid three hours i was just sending it to random people like friends and family just be like so you gotta understand max our producer and i would just send him the video i don't think it was that funny if you don't know the whole backstory but i still was like you gotta see this watch this yeah the posting it was really just the posting it, you took the video and then posted it.
Yeah. It was the rare video.
At one in the morning, I almost woke up my wife to show her. I didn't, but I was like this close.
It was like, you can't believe what Max just did. You know what, though? Max serves a very valuable purpose when he does something like that.
I was looking for anybody to be mad at. I was looking for a reason why that last shot went in because it was just such a ridiculous last play that it it leaves everybody in stunned silence watching but the second that i saw that max put that video up i was like okay yeah that's that's the guy that's the bad you're my scapegoat you were a great scapegoat for that happy to be here who's the bad guy uh okay let's do's back in the week, and then we'll get to our great interviews.
Again, we're going to do succession talk at the end of the show. Tuesday and Friday shows this week, so if you want to save one of the interviews for Wednesday, because there won't be a new show on Wednesday, but we'll be back for game one of the NBA Finals.
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Okay.

Who's back in the week.

Hank,

I have a couple.

My first one is a Cinderella.

Okay.

This is in college baseball. Tulane finished the regular season 15-39, and then they won the AAC Conference Tournament, and they're going to the tournament.
NCAA. You know who loves Tulane? Don't tell me to say it.
Grow the game. Too soon.
But that's it know I usually hear that in basketball but it's always that's 15 and 39 15 and 39 yeah holy fuck who they beat in the championship I don't know what they're probably gonna play like rice or something and maybe you know maybe shock the world that's insane 15 and 39 is pretty fucking crazy that's a bad team yeah that's a really bad team uh then my other who's back of the week shots. That's a bad team.
Yeah. That's a really bad team.

Then my other who's back of the week, Shots.

This is a little PSA or something I feel like we've talked about before.

But with the move to Chicago, me and PFT were out.

And I do truly, you know, meeting a lot of AWLs, everyone's saying welcome to Chicago, welcome to Chicago.

A lot of people were also, you know, buying, coming over with Shots. And I personally met a met a point in my life where like I try and just not even drink liquor when I'm out but I feel bad because people are just you know it's a nice gesture and I appreciate the gesture but I think I'm just gonna have to start turning them down or if people want to buy a shot just buy a shot and we'll cheers and you take it but I feel bad turning them down but I also just don't i can't be drinking 10 shots a night you just yeah go ahead my rule of thumb is no shots uh that has started to go sideways since i've been in chicago because i've been on a little malort kick for the last couple days and uh i i my my rule is i will not be taking shots that other people buy for me of malort any longer it's not not happening.
I can't keep up this pace that I'm on right now. It tastes like the devil's come.
It's awful. It does taste like gasoline.
It tastes like if somebody threw up gasoline and then re-drank it, that's what Malort tastes like. I'm still – I will buy myself some Malort occasionally as a treat.
But I have to set a hard and fast rule because it's quickly

getting out of hand i will not be drinking any more shots of malort that people buy for me i can't do it i'll be dead within a month yeah i think i've told this story but the uh cardinal steelers super bowl we had one of our friends trying to drink an entire bottle of malort and he did before halftime and then like during it might have been like right it's actually right during like the uh run back i missed that run back live because they were like hey where is he and then i found him in my room and he had just started puking up malort in my room and i it like i smelt it for like six months it was the worst thing i can still I can still smell it on the roof of my mouth yeah it stays with you for so long it honestly feels like a drink that somebody made up as a joke yeah yeah as a dare uh Hank that's a good rule I've had a rule for it's been like eight years now never I'll never take a free shot from anyone because of that Like I, it actually at declans for the oshi game the usa versus russia game at fucking seven in the morning i had to be peeled off of wells street because i took so many free shots so just if you make it a if you make it a rule it's no hurt feelings right that's the thing and i do appreciate it's just awkward when they come over like here's a shot and in my, I don't really want this. But I also don't.
You know, I don't want to seem like an asshole. But that's kind of what I'm getting at.
It's just a hard and fast rule because you can't break it either. Like, I don't.
If someone tries to buy me a shot, say, hey, thank you so much. I appreciate it.
I don't take shots. Yeah.
Buy a shot for yourself. We'll cheers.
Yeah. Could we add one more rule? Yeah.
Buy Billy shots. Closed bottles and cans only.
What do you think? You're going to get roofied by a stoolie?

Well, I got QB sneaked once.

What do you mean?

It's a long time ago, but Coors Light's only.

The worst one I ever got was a Shard Bomb.

You ever guys get Shard Bombed?

No.

Some dude came up to me.

It was a bar called River Shannon in Chicago.

I don't know if it's still there.

And was like, big cat shard bomb

and he just handed me a glass of chardonnay and we had to chug it and i just went right outside and puked my guts out so no shard bombs either i thought people just walk you up to you and sharding shard bomb i mean the problem is you have to get you have to do the shard bomb once because when someone says hey shard bomb that's a cool name and you're like a fucking white wine? Okay. How bad could it be? Really bad.
That's the bachelorette party version of icing your bro. Yeah, Shard Bomb.
I had to respect the ingenuity of a Shard Bomb, but never again. Never again.
You just say bomb after anything. Yeah, right.
You have to chug it. Yeah.
Dude, remember? You just got poutine bombed. Like Vegas bombs at brunch.
Yeah. I don't even know.
It was like it was a red bull and orange juice and vodka she's like yeah okay i'll take a bomb sure uh all right good who's back no more shots pft great who's back ang uh my who's back of the week is live golf because live golf is tweaking their rule format that they have they are now now instituting relegation and promotion in Live Golf League, which is great. So what they're doing is they're having players that finish between 25th and 44th.
They will be in the open zone becoming free agents where they can move between teams or leave live golf. If they're essentially live golf,

just invented the PGA tour.

So you're not like guaranteed a spot on live golf.

Other players can play well and then get moved up into live.

They invented qualification school.

Are we worried about our fourth ace?

What's his name again,

Hank?

Don't Jake.

Don't Jake.

It's like Pietro or something.

You lie. You line.
Peter. You line you line yeah are we worried about our fourth ace no he's he's actually probably top top one of the better aces oh he is so you take him over what other what what ace would you take him over maybe pat perez okay and dustin johnson and bubba okay okay so i think power rank your aces.
DJ number one. He's the GOAT.
Great guy. We'd love to have him on the show.
Yeah. DJ, Bubba, Uline, Paparez, I guess.
Oh, wow. Okay.
All right. My who's back is DeAndre Hopkins.
Free agent DeAndre Hopkins. got cut what team is gonna take him uh that was a nice little nfl is still king when deandre hopkins got cut i think it was like friday uh what do you think pft where is he gonna go i mean ravens i mean he was rumored the patriots were talking to him that everyone i hate how it now has become like any really good player gets cut or is like on the block and they're like chiefs he'll take less and you know it's probably true yeah it's i would love to see him on the bills actually yeah yeah it'd be sick i mean but i'm just happy for for hopkins like this is his super bowl getting cut from the cardinals must be awesome if you're a good player and you get to just pick where you want to end up next like he's he's left two of the most unstable franchises in the past four years those are two great days that he has yeah when he finds out that he's leaving the texans he's fucking pumped then he finds out that he's leaving the cardinals he's probably psyched about that too i'm just happy happy for him.
Yeah, the Cardinals are going to be bad, bad.

Like, really, because it is one of those,

you just keep forgetting that Kyler Murray is not going to be starting the year.

You know what this sounds like to me?

I bet you the Cowboys are going to make their fans believe that they're in the Hopkins running until, like, the very last second,

and then he's going to sign with the Bills.

Yeah, and it would be funny if he went to the Ravens although lamar jackson like is that too much too fast you know like the you never want to be the guy who's like i never have help i never have help then you have so much help then it's all on you yeah it's great to have an excuse that excuse he won't have anything left at that point but lamar jackson's already saying things publicly like i'm going to be passing the ball a lot more than i'm going to be running it so he's setting himself up to have like everybody look at him and say well maybe maybe the problem might have been you at some times here lamar whereas in the past he was the most sympathetic guy in the nfl he wasn't getting a big contract his mom was working as his agent and he had absolutely no help at wide receiver as is tradition for the for the Ravens. It would be weird to watch a Ravens game and see them have outstanding wide receivers all across the field.
It wouldn't feel right. I also just revealed myself as not having that dog in me because I know that Lamar Jackson and the Ravens probably don't think that way, where I'm thinking about it.
If I were Lamar Jackson, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get so much help that then I can be blamed. You never want to be in that spot where you can't make at least one excuse.
That would suck. You got to at least leave yourself an excuse in life for something going wrong.
Absolutely, and they would have none. I would love to see him on the Bills.
I think Bills Super Bowl if they get DeAndre Hopkins. Yeah.
All right, Billy. Billy's wearing sunglasses for some reason.
They're USA sunglasses. It's Memorial Day still.
It's actually not Memorial Day. Oh, two more minutes.
Two more minutes. You got it.
Billy just got real banged up this weekend. Thank you for your service.
Yeah. There was a moment where we were having a healthy debate in the kitchen, and I felt like I was just arguing with the South Park character

because Billy was getting aggro with his sunglasses on.

He's like, it's fucking Memorial Day, bro.

Art imitates life.

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He's back.

If you remember Derek, other way around.

Just let him go.

He's cooking.

Hold up.

Hold up.

Let Billy cook.

Wait, what did I say?

Life imitates art. No, art imitates life.
Anyway. Oh, I guess because you are imitating art.
Yeah, I did that on purpose. Billy's a work of art.
Got it. So Derek from More Plates, More Dates, who was the one that exposed Liver King for being on steroids.
Actually, he should come on the show. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Ask him about Ozzempic i will and then uh so he basically i know i know his co-host great dude yeah yeah yeah uh basically arnold started talking about his steroid use uh for the first time and talked about his cycle and basically he wasn't on that much steroids compared to a lot of guys today in bodybuilding, which just goes to show that he is the GOAT.
Okay. So not as much steroids.
Yeah. Which just shows that according to him.
Yeah, but he had Derek confirmed that this makes sense according to what it was rumored to, but everyone thought that it was impossible that he could have done it like that. Got it.
So he's still the goat. Okay.

And the Taliban.

Wait, the Taliban's back?

Why?

They literally invaded Iran.

By the way, it's midnight, so take the glasses off.

Nope.

Why?

Because it's fucking America.

Okay, but it's not Memorial Day. Yeah, but I'm still going to wear my American flag.

Now it's stolen.

No, I can wear American flag sunglasses.

This is America.

Wait, what did the Taliban do? They're just acting up. Shit.
They just get invaded Iran. Kind of.
Taliban they do get a little wild sometimes. They just kind of get a little bored and then they get fucking wild.
Yeah, they go away. They pop up.
They're like herpes. Yeah, I think it's just like five years a little flare-up i think it's just like the nature it's kind of like uh the taliban's kind of like being on a bachelor party at all times we're like you know if you're on a bachelor party for long enough you get bad ideas like hey let's go do this i mean we think about it dudes hanging out all day doing like muscle ultimate the ultimate bro trip yeah don't think about bringing your chick yeah and then eventually you can only watch your guys like do a bunch of pull-ups in the desert you got to eventually go do something about it yeah they just they hang out they bro out together probably play a lot of cards shoot guns just guys being dudes yeah and they're like hey why don't we just go invade iran was it iran yeah but the worst part is they now just got like a bunch of stuff around them like you know when your buddies just start using excavators and like going to construction sites when they're just bored and like they start trying to use heavy equipment and heavy machinery well imagine that with like u.s military equipment that just left and now wait how how often does that happen part of that, you know, when your buddies get drunk and it's like a college campus and then there's like like excavators.
I do. I actually do.
I actually imagine. I actually know exactly what you're talking about.
Imagine that. That did happen.
Humvees. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Tanks. No, it's it.
We all were in college at one point. And if there was a fucking, you know, huge backhoe sitting in the in the middle of the street at two in the morning.
Yeah. I tried to climb about like a drunk 19 year old is really no different than a three year old going down the street and seeing an awesome backhoe and just stopping and staring.
I'd be like that kicks ass. Let me get on that thing.
All right, Jake, you're who's back. And then we're going to get to Michael Malone and Big J.
My who's back is lacrosse. Big weekend of lacrosse.
Notre Dame men, Northwestern women, national champions. And the PLL season is here.
Oh, hell yes. Billy and I will be heading to training camp in Albany later this week.
Opening weekend for the PLL. And a huge announcement last week.
The league is shifting to home cities next year. Yes.
In 2024. So the Waterdogs need a permanent home.
Yeah, Paul Rabel's going to come on the show in the next week or so. If he doesn't give the Waterdogs Chicago, we riot.
I think we just actually, we just, I think we just kidnap him and keep him in this hot fucking studio and just like beat him up are you guys gonna stop we could do that really yeah i mean jake we might yes this is a throwback to last year when billy picked tgi fridays over over like a staple deli because of a booth people were forgetting people forgetting it was also friday oh yeah so that is true that i mean you forgot that part i was like it is friday jake let's go to tgi fridays yeah also in the name we just been playing lacrosse all day and i really just wanted someone to just come up to me with a big cup of ice water and just keep refilling it. We did this.
Yeah. And you wanted the booth.
Yeah. Yeah.
So stay tuned for some content in Albany. Our friend Dugues will be joining us.
We'll be there Thursday, Friday. Is he in a wheelchair? He might be.
He's on crutches. Okay.
It's going to be electric. Dugues is a great, great case for never doing anything athletic past the age of like 23 crippled dudes

yeah he broke his ankle at alumni lacrosse that's like you're you're just it's there's no glory in it you're just only going out to just break the you basically i mean pfd when you play in your rugby game like you're essentially just playing hoping you don't get injured that's the only win No, it's to me the feeling of playing an alumni rugby game when i unretire every year is the exact same feeling that i get when i make a ten thousand dollar bet that ends up winning one thousand dollars so like at the end of the game if i if i walk off the field under my own power not in an ambulance i'm like okay that was an awesome game i'm so happy to do that but yeah you should not you it's really the dumbest thing ever because somebody in those games, whether it's lacrosse, rugby, any sort of like high contact sport, some old guy always gets like devastatingly injured in that. And then they have to go back to their real job.
And there's nothing worse. I mean, at Barstool, you can get away with a lot and it's not the exact same.
But if you go back into a real office job and you're in like

a sling with black eyes and a broken nose then people are like what is this person they're not this is not a serious individual wait billy do you have a black eye right now no okay no he doesn't i thought for a second maybe that was why he's wearing the glasses i'm actually ashamed i don't And that's why I'm wearing glasses.

Who the fuck comes back for Memorial Day weekend without a black eye? Pussies, that's who. Also, shout out Notre Dame.
They won the National Lacrosse Championship, D1. They beat Duke 13-8.
Yeah, who won the women's? There's no way to know. There's way to want no wait one second well no jake said shout out notre dame and northwestern yeah okay all right let's get to our interviews we have coach mike malone uh and then big j okerson uh first quick ad summer is here and with that warm weather it's time for warm weather, it's time you deserve to look and feel your best all the time.
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Thank you so much for joining us, Coach. We wanted to give the Nuggets their shine because there's been a lot of talk about the media not giving the Nuggets their shine.
So we thought having you on would be great. So first of all, all congrats on the sweep and my first question is what do you think about lebron potentially retiring first off it's great to be on with you guys i have uh i have a tremendous coaching staff who are all big fans of your show your podcast and when they heard i had a chance to go on they said coach you got to do it uh big cat pft are great guys you're gonna have a fun time so thanks for having me on yeah yeah as far as the lakers sweep yeah i really can't comment on your first question so all right so my real first question uh because that was not the real first question is way more important uh you have nine days rest now is this going to be the best your voice ever has sounded before game one and how quickly are you going to lose your voice when you get into the nba finals in game one yeah there's no doubt my voice is going to have plenty of time to get some rest and uh come game one, hopefully in Denver next Thursday, it'll be ready to go.
And probably by halftime, we'll be a little bit hoarse, but our guys are used to it. It's crazy.
Been here for eight years now. And to be a part of a team and a franchise that's gotten better and better and better, gotten healthier, allowed us to get to this point.
It's been a real fun ride to this point, but we're not satisfied.

Yeah, it really has been awesome watching your team for especially

the last three years or so.

I saw it was about three years ago.

I remember I was watching you guys play, and I was like,

if they can get all healthy at the same time,

this is a team that can win an NBA championship.

They've got the talent on the team. It's about lining up the health of Murray and Porter and getting some nice pieces around because they've got a stud in Jokic.
And they're primed. They play a fun, entertaining style of basketball.
I know there's a lot of ratings talk already out there. If you like watching fun basketball, you should love watching this Nuggets team play because they're very entertaining.
Was there was there a time though over the last few years where you just weren't sure that the health of all your guys was going to line up to a point where it was going to turn you guys into a contender well yeah I go back to you right after we traded for Aaron Gordon about three years ago whenever it was and shortly after that trade deadline we played the Clippers in LA and we were fully healthy at that point. They were fully healthy.
And we went in there and won that game. And Aaron Gordon's impact, the defense on Kawhi.
And after that game, I know for me, I said, if we can stay healthy, we've got a chance to win it this year. Unfortunately, as we all know, shortly thereafter, Jamal suffered his ACL injury.
And then the following year, Michael Porter missed 73 games. But the last time our core was fully healthy was the bubble.
And we made it to the Western Conference Finals. And we lost to the Lakers.
And so, you know, if you want to achieve something great, you have to go through failure. And I think our guys, like every other great team and player in the past, we've gone through adversity.
And I think being healthy, staying together, having tremendous ownership in front office that have remained patient, have allowed us to be in this position. But I knew once we got back being healthy, adding a few pieces like KCP, like Bruce Brown brown drafting well we'd be back in the western conference finals fighting for our first appearance in the nba finals and that's what we've been able to do to this point yeah it was it was a great moment watching after after the sweep was concluded and you're walking off the court and the yokich brothers come up to you and they start tossing you around like a bag of potato chips.
Is that something where they approach you and you're like, I have to let them do whatever they want because they're intimidating me right now and they're the Jokic's and they get full reign? No, you know, it was really more about like love. And like I've gone over to Serbia so many times and I spend so much time in the offseason, not just with Nikola, but with Nemanja and Strahina and their parents.
And so we've created a very close bond. And so when I went off the court to find them, to hug them, they came running down.
I said, oh, what's about to happen? And as you mentioned, next thing you know, I was being thrown in the air. And I can honestly say that's the first time this ever happened.
But a really cool moment. I've had so many people send me that video.
but I think it just speaks to the bond and I can honestly say that's the first time this ever happened but a really cool moment I've had so many people send me that video but I think it just speaks to the bond that I have with the entire Jokic family had a big hug with Jamal Murray's father Roger we've been with these guys so much and we spend so much time with them not just on the court but off the court I remember one year I flew to Toronto to go with Jamal Murray to a Cleveland Cavalier-Toronto Raptor playoff game just so he could feel what it was like. And now all these years later, Jamal Murray averages 32 points a game in the Western Conference Finals and is a huge part of us getting to our first NBA Finals.
It must also be nice having the Jokic brothers just relatively courtside at a lot of games. So you don't have to have an enforcer on the court all the time.
You just got the big Serbian boys standing up, just staring daggers at the other team and at the refs. And you just point at them.
They're like, yeah, listen to these guys, please. Well, it's great to know I got two security guards that got my back at all times.
And I can remember Nikola's rookie season. I think we were playing Phoenix and Tyson Chandler and Nicola got into it.
And out of the corner of my eye, I see this very large object moving at a high rate of speed down towards the court. And one of his brothers was about to run onto the court and handle the business for Tyson Chandler.
Thankfully, security got to him before that happened, but they are passionate. They love their brother.
They love the Nuggets, and thankfully, I'm on their good side. So I know they're in my corner, which is great to know.
It's an incredible story, Jokic specifically. He is the best basketball player in the world.
I'm confident in saying that. You've been with him pretty much from the beginning here.
Was there a point where you saw it? Because you saw it because you can't you know people are like oh we knew he was going to be this guy they're lying he was a second round draft pick you know he had to get in better shape and learn the game a little bit more but was there what was the point where you're like okay this guy his ceiling is best basketball player in the world well I agree I think he is the best is the best basketball player, and I think he's proving it every single night. And, you know, I go back, my first summer in Denver was also Nicola's first summer, and we went to Las Vegas for summer league, and at one point in time in Vegas did I say, hey, we have a franchise player.
You know, it was just no one saw that, to your point. But But as we got into his rookie season and he lost some weight, got in shape, we had some injuries.
We played a game in San Antonio with Tim Duncan still playing and Nicole went out there and put up like 25 points, 13 rebounds, seven or eight assists. And that's when for me, like the light bulb kind of went, wait a minute.
He just did this against one of the greatest players of all time, one of the most well-coached teams and best coaches in NBA history in Greg Popovich.

We may have something special here.

And it really kind of, I think, a defining moment for our franchise was year two and reinserting him back into the starting lineup as our starting center.

And our trajectory from that point in time just took off. Our offense took off.
He became the focal point of everything that we did because his innate ability to make everyone around him better and the fact that he takes the most joy in making plays for others, we have kind of identified that, and the rest has been history to this point. It really is like so much fun watching him play because of what you just said, where even if he's not scoring, you can see the impact he has on the other defense where everyone's collapsing and he's getting guys open and he's has his fingerprints over every possession, whether he's scoring or not.
Are there times, like I would imagine as a coach, are there times where you're just like, hey, just go figure something out. Like you're the best player in the world.
Like don't even drop a play. Like I know you got this.
Like you're going to get it. You get the ball, bring up the ball.
Everyone's going to collapse. You find someone or you score.
Like you can do everything. Do you ever say like no play, just go do it? Well, yeah.
I mean, sometimes the best play is just get the ball to Nicola. Yeah.
And then to your point, through his IQ and unselfishness, you know he's going to make the right play. Whether or not we make the shot, whatever, it doesn't matter.
Like, you know you're going to get the right look. And I think a great example of that was in game three against the Lakers, fourth quarter.
And he grabs the clipboard before I get in there and he says he says listen me and Jamal are going to play this two-man game you other three guys just get out of the way be ready and let us play our game and we did it like five or six straight possessions and pulled away from the Lakers so and that's one thing I have to say about Nicola that in the eight years that he continues to get more comfortable with is being more vocal, being a leader, using his voice to end those moments, not keep it within, but what do you have to say? Because you're out there and we all trust you. And so that's just one of many examples where, hey, man, I know in this situation, we're going to get the ball to Nicola in the low post, in the high post, on the elbow, on the wing,

and let him make a play like he's done time and time again.

Yeah, there's some haters out there.

A good friend of our show, Kirk Goldsberry, he wrote a scathing article.

I didn't read the entire thing.

I read the first paragraph, and then I clicked it because I knew it was fake news,

about his defense and about how he gives up a lot of easy layups.

We told him to his face he was wrong. He's a numbers guy.
We're eyeball guys. We know ball.
We knew that those plays, that highlight reel wasn't telling the full story. Do you read any of the naysayers out there about him? Does he read the naysayers? And if so, do you guys use that as motivation or are you guys just completely locked in on what you're doing? So, you know, I learned, you know, I'm the son of a coach.
My father's in the NBA for many years, and he was in Detroit with Chuck Daly and the bad boys. And one thing he learned from Chuck Daly was don't listen to the radio, don't watch TV and don't read the newspaper.
And now in today's NBA and just social media world, it's don't look at anything because something negative is being said about you at all times no matter what you're doing what level you're playing at or you're winning at a high level people are going to find something to attack and i i did see the article because one of the coaches showed it to me because they were so upset and the whole premise of the article was one game against san antonio and yakub pertle and how Nikola is not a good defender and we have no chance of winning at a high level because of

that. Well, we're starting the finals on Thursday, so I think that we've shown and Nikola has shown

that he can be a good enough defender and we as a team can be a good enough defender. And in eight

years, I think we've taken some of that perceived disrespect, if you will, and used it as motivation. I think this year for the first time that I've ever been with Nicola, I do think the negativity around the MVP narrative became somewhat of a distraction and was very negative.
And I think it really turned him off and a lot of other people off. for, you know, I can't speak for you guys in that matter.
But so I think there are times that we use it as motivation. But at the same time, we have to spend as much energy as possible in trying to win the NBA finals now.
Try to win a championship. And if we're worried about all the other things, that's going to distract us from concentrating on the task at hand which is trying to win a series.

I like that.

We're in the finals.

Take that for data.

Yeah, and I did take away Embiid's MVP this year.

So personally as a show, Jokic is now our MVP.

We vote on the MVP after the playoffs start.

That's just how the show always works.

Yeah, that way we can never be wrong about our MVP

and people can never rub that in our face and be like,

well, what did they do in the playoffs?

We wait until after the playoffs are over. Whoever wins the championship, we give a team mvp yeah right now it's the nuggets uh i i had one more question about about yokich uh specifically about in-game management for him he tends to get his arms cut more easily than any player in maybe nba history it always looks like after the first quarter he's been handling feral cats and just gotten scratched up with blood everywhere.
Do you have a cut guy that's on retainer that just is assigned to Nikola's arms? No, that's a good idea, though. We might have to hire somebody because whether it's Boston or Miami, we know those cuts are going to be even that much worse.
But, no, it kind of reminds me of the scene in Rocky. Like, cut me, Mick.
You need somebody to help him out so uh nicole is a warrior man the guy and people always talk about his lack of athleticism but like what they don't remember is okay game four against the lakers he played 45 and a half minutes you know there's a game against portland a four overtime game a few years ago where i played him 63 minutes and he's able to like he's got you know maybe he's like secretariat he's big into horses he can run for days he may not jump over people but his conditioning is at an elite level and uh you're right he looks like he's been through a war every time he comes into locker room after a game yeah speaking of horses has he gotten you on a horse when you've gone to serbia yeah i was uh well first off his brothers were pissed off because they never get the he's never given his brothers the opportunity to go on the on the horse and so they were really like insulted that he allowed me to go and not them but it was it was like a practice day for the horse and so we went to the track it was me nicole the horse and their trainer and obviously i'm sitting in i don't know what you call it the buggy the thing behind it there's that kind of a horse you don't sit on the horse and he goes all right coach just take it nice and easy this is like a warm-up i'm like okay and i get on the horse and all of a sudden i think i'm like ben hur i'm like whipping the reins let's go so we come around the first time he's yelling, slow down, you're going too fast. And then I went one more lap even faster, and he was really mad.
He goes, Coach, you're never riding my horse again. So I did it one time.
You got it. You can't take it away from me.
Yeah, yeah, you got it that one time. So the other, you know, your team has been playing so well as a team, but Jamal Murray specifically has been out of this world good.
There was a story that came out recently that when he tore his ACL, he actually asked you, like, does this mean I'm done with the Nuggets? Walk me through your watching him tear his ACL and having to deal with, like, all right, we're missing this guy. He hasn't been able to reach his full potential.
And how how you mentally were able to get him build him back up to a point where he could have easily won the mvp of the western conference finals he's been that electric and he also is now getting like the the superstar playoff kind of treatment where we saw him in the bubble we see him this year like he shows up for these big big moments he does He does. He lives for those moments.
And, you know, you reference that the night that game happened was against Golden State in San Francisco. He tears his ACL.
We stayed over that night. And that next morning, we're on the bus going to the airport.
And I'm sitting next to him. And we're having a conversation.
And you could just see the fear, the dejection, and like, what what just happened and more importantly what's about to happen and you know when he said to me coach like are you guys going to trade me that really hit me and it was an emotional conversation because of you know everything we have gone through together and where we were at and I just tried to reassure him in that moment and every day day after that, no, like we're, we're not thinking of you as damaged goods. You're our guy.
And not only are you going to come back from this injury, Jamal, you're going to come back a better player. You're going to attack your rehab.
You're going to come back stronger, better. And I think he's proven that.
And I think this year, the biggest game of the season for me, and Jamal's confidence and getting back to level was we played, I think, Portland on December 8th. And Jamal hits the game winner over Jeremy Grant.
And you could see almost like him take a deep breath and remind himself, hey, I'm a really good basketball player. I went through a really long journey getting back to this point.
And there were some dark days in that journey and coming back from the ACL injury, but he attacked

it. And all we tried to do as an organization, all I tried to do as a head coach was support him

and show him how much we loved him, not rush him back. A lot of people wanted him to come back last

year in the playoffs. You know, is he ready? Is he not? And I wasn't going to push him.
You know,

I wanted him to feel really comfortable about stepping back on that court. And that happened

this year. And to your point, you know, Nikola was amazing in the Western Conference Finals.
He won MVP. But you can make a great case as well for Jamal.
32 points a game in a four-game sweep. And he has 30 points in the first half of game three.
And in game two, he had 23 points in the fourth quarter alone to allow us to win that game so uh just thankful that he's back healthy and in really good place mentally and that's a great story because i think um when it comes to the the building of these teams and injuries and everything that goes into it as fans we sit there and we're like what the heck like ac it's actually we we have a joke here joke here. Adrian Peterson ruined ACL injuries for everyone because the running back, he came back in like eight months.
And so now anyone gets injured and we're like, what the hell? Why aren't they back? But the mental side of sports and being able to keep your guys mentally in it when they're not maybe participating on the court, that's got to be a tough part of the coaching job that people don't really see. Well, it is.
And I'm glad you brought that up. Because one thing we did last year for Jamal to, you know, because it was really hard for him to be at practice and have to sit there and watch everybody else playing the game he loves.
That's like torture. Hey, man, come watch his practice.
You can't touch a ball or do anything, but like be there and be a good teammate. Man, that but so we try to do we try to get him involved in the process and so every game we play in a regular season we do the same thing in the playoffs we watch a personnel edit so we're getting ready to play miami so one of our coaches will take our team through a personnel edit talking about each of their players their tendencies what their strengths are so we started having jamal do that last season.
Jamal, you present to our team. And it was just a way to keep him involved where, okay, I can't play the game, but I can still try to help my guys out.
I can come in and sit in on a coach's meeting. And so trying to do things like that just to keep a young man who's going through a really tough time, just keeping him mentally engaged and letting him know you're not playing right now but you're still a part of this like you're still going to be a part of this moving forward and I do think that helped him kind of getting through that that really tough year all of last season yeah yeah it must be tough for a guy that's that much of a competitor to have to sit back and watch everything.
And now you're talking about like keep strategies, keeping your team together, keeping players focused when they're not playing. You have a pretty significant layoff.
We don't know who you're going to be playing in the finals. We don't know how long the Heat Celtics series is going to go.
What's your strategy right now in terms of rest versus rust? Do you have guys competing in practice? Do you have simulated scrimmages? Are you giving the guys time off just to recuperate? How are you handling the layoff between now and the finals? Yeah, I mean, we met for a while as a staff yesterday. So the first day back was a complete blackout day.
We got really back late from L.A. Yesterday was a player development, treatments, lift kind of a day.
We're going to get on the floor here in a little bit. And we don't know who we're playing yet.
So the next three or four days are going to be just about the Denver Nuggets. You know, kind of cleaning up all the things for the first.
We're 12-3 so far. So after 15 games, what are the things that we have to clean up offensively, defensively, special situations, whatever it may be.
And then at whatever point in time we finally know who our opponent is, we know we'll have three or four days to get ready for game one to prepare for their personnel and their plays and the walkthrough and what our game plan is going to be. We're meeting as a staff every day talking about both Miami and Boston just to get ready for each team and what they present.
But it's a challenge because we played every other day. Our guys are in peak conditioning and in a rhythm right now.
And then all of a sudden you take that away. And that's our biggest challenge.
How do we maintain our conditioning? How do we maintain our rhythm while not playing games? And it's hard to do. When I was an assistant in Cleveland, we had the same same situation we swept the round uh first round we swept the second round and our next opponent had both gone to a seven games so we had like an eight nine day layoff for both of those and I think it affected us kind of getting into the Eastern Conference finals but uh our guys will be ready I have no doubt about that yeah so you talked about Cleveland you you had an incredible career in basketball.
You've been around some great players. You also were with the Warriors before they became the Championship Warriors.
Is there any parallels in watching Steph Curry when he was at the beginning of his career being like, he was kind of similar to Jokic, where he was obviously great in college basketball, made a tournament run with Davidson, but no one thought he was going to be what he is. Did you see it when you're watching him in practice and being like, yeah, this guy is special.
He's going to be one of the best players in basketball? Well, yeah, because with Steph, getting to know him, you realize, okay, this guy, the character, I mean, just a tremendously high character, young man, tremendous work work ethic the guy every day had a routine routine discipline worked on his game before and after every practice and you knew he had a skill i mean his ability to shoot the ball was just as ub brown said many years ago shooting makes up for a multitude of sins and one thing steph curry can do is shoot and score the basketball as we've all come to see in the years since they won all those championships and then you draft a guy like Clay Thompson and then we drafted a guy like Draymond Green and Harrison Barnes and you can see the makings of something special I wound up leaving there to go to Sacramento to be the head coach but when I left to go there you know my second year in Golden State we upset Denver in first round, and we gave San Antonio a hell of a series in the second round. So you saw all the makings of a team that had championship DNA, and obviously as they continue to add to that, you know, those three or four core guys, you know, the rest has been history.
Obviously they've been almost like a dynasty these last 10 years. Yeah, so I made the comparison uh in I think it was a week ago or so uh that Steph and Jokic even though they don't obviously play the same position they're very different in how they play uh they are similar in the fact that a defense the the the the like orbit of the defense the gravity of the defense always collapses on them and opens up everything else do Do you see the same thing where it's like these guys, even if they're not making shots, it's everything that comes around it that the defense has to prepare for that makes them so special? Yeah, I think the truly defining characteristic of a great player is the one that makes his teammates better.
And obviously, Steph, to your point, you know he's going to attract the crowd every night, two, sometimes three defenders, and I think his playmaking and unselfishness is somewhat underrated. We all talk about Steph Curry as a shooter and a scorer, probably the greatest shooter in NBA history, but he also has the ability to make those around him better.
I've often used the analogy, and I'd be curious to see if you guys find this funny or you see it. I think LeBron James and Nicole Jokic are very, very similar.
And the eye test, you say, hell no. One's a great athlete, freakish, and the other guy can't jump over the Sunday newspaper.
But to get away from that, both those guys, their IQ, their unselfishness, their ability to make everyone better and impact the game, rebounding, scoring, playmaking, and just making timely plays and seeing things before everybody else sees them. And having coached LeBron for five years and now Nicola for eight, those two guys I think are incredibly similar once you get past the obvious athleticism.
That's really interesting. The one thing that I would agree with on that, they both will make passes.
And you see it in football sometimes. A quarterback throws a pass before the receivers open.
Jokic and LeBron both make the pass. They start passing the ball before their guy is even open to receive the pass.
They truly do see that before it ever happens. Yeah.
No, they do. I mean, that's a great thing about like some guys are playing checkers out there, and then you have a few guys that play chess and see things developing.
And guys understand pretty quickly when they first come to our team, first time playing with Nikola, hey, you better have your head on a swivel because if you're open, he's going to find you. And sometimes guys are running through the lane.
They get hit in the back of the head and he yells at them, Hey, be ready to catch the ball. Cause I'm going to find you when you're open.
So that's the best part about playing with him. The guy is so unselfish.
He just wants to win. Doesn't care about the, he's almost embarrassed by the attention at times.
And he's just such a selfless superstar and feel very, very fortunate to have the opportunity to coach a guy who's like that i like the analogy too just because when lebron and yokich both get the ball at the top of the key the defense is already kind of screwed because they can do everything and it's like you don't there's nothing you can really do to stop whatever their next thing is because they could go to the hoop they can could hit a fadeaway, they could pass, everyone could collapse on them.

That spot already has bent the defense in a place they don't want to be.

And for me, like most games, I'll start off the first play of the game,

we're going to post up Nicola because I want to see what the other team's

game plan is.

And everybody's got a choice to make.

Are you going to play Nicola straight up or are you going to double team him?

And he, like LeBron, has seen every conceivable defense that you can imagine. And the one thing you love about Nikola, like after, I think it was game one against the Lakers.
We're up 1-0, and everybody talked about the Lakers. They're in a great place.
They're down 1-0, but they had Rui Hachimora guard Nikola, and it went really well yeah and you know we got a kick out of that because one we were up 1-0 and no one was talking about that and Nikola like and Rui Hachimura is a hell of a young player and he had a tremendous western conference finals but like no one figures out Nikola right he's seen everything like he's had the defensive player of the year type players draped all over him, and he's going to find a way to beat you, whether it's scoring or finding the open man for Jamal, for Michael, for KCP, whoever it is to make the shot. So, yeah, when Nicola has the ball in that low post on that elbow, that defense has a decision to make, and Nicole is going to make the right read every time.

There's usually no correct decision.

Just hope that he screws it up somehow, which he never does. And hope somebody misses.

Yeah, yeah.

Hope they miss a shot.

That's the defense that they have to play sometimes.

I have two questions.

Well, it's a two-part question,

but I feel like every championship team has to have an X factor to win,

and that might just be a term we make up in the media of an X factor. Which one of these X factors is more important to your team? The altitude or Rocky, the mascot being able to drain half court shots on top of a 50 foot ladder, throwing the ball over his head.
No doubt. Rocky.
You know, it's funny before I got here, they told me a story. It was like maybe the season opener.
Rocky was being like coming. He was rappelling down to the floor.
Yes. They had the spotlight on him.
And ladies and gentlemen, here comes the world's most famous mascot. And then something happened where as he's coming down, Rocky passes out.
His body is limp. Coming down.
But, yeah, so Rocky is definitely important, but I think you can see it on the other team's face. When they come to Denver and they play in this altitude, that first quarter you can see guys huffing and puffing.
And it's something from Doug Moe, the greatest coach in Nuggets history, his teams back in the day trying to outscore you getting up and down. I got a great message from Dan Issel the other day, one of the all-time greats in Denver Nuggets history.
His teams back in the day trying to outscore you getting up and down. I got a great

message from Dan Issel the other day.

One of the all-time greats in Denver Nugget

history saying, hey, run the

Lakers off the floor. Keep running, keep running,

keep running because we do have an advantage

built into our city.

But I can never discount the importance of

Rocky. Yeah, smart.

Before a game, so before game one,

do you get nervous?

We've had Danny Hurley on a bunch

and he, you know, during UConn's run, we were talking to him, he drinks urine before the game, which intimidates everyone else. But he also said that he has to get in a Zen moment where he doesn't want to be so mad about the referees or something before the game that he has to shut off all the lights lights and give himself a moment what's your pregame routine are you do you do you get the butterflies as the game's about to tip off well first thing I got a question and I know Danny and Bobby and obviously we have a ton of respect for their family St.
Anthony's guys I'm a Seton Hall prep guy via New York. But I just – whose urine is he drinking?

Is it his own or somebody else?

It's so – hopefully his own, yeah.

Well, it's a mushroom –

Do we know that?

Well, it's a mushroom tea that looks like piss,

and we told him he should just go with it and be like,

yeah, I'm drinking piss before the game.

Because, listen, it's like the old saying,

like never get in a fight with a guy who's got nothing to lose.

If you see the other coach drinking piss before a game, you're in trouble. You definitely are.
So I don't drink piss or anything. Okay.
Noted. But it did work for him.
He had a hell of a season. So congrats to you, kind of Danny Hurley.
But you know what? I haven't done it for as long as I have been. I don't get – I'm so locked into my pregame routine and getting ready and doing my notes and my ATO plays and preparing that like, and then, you know, like as you get ready for the jump ball, I'm sorry, we know we've done our job, we've prepared our guys, we're ready for whatever comes our way, but I can't say I get nervous, you know, like where my heart is beating out of my chest it's um i don't think the nba finals will be any different but i've never been there as a head coach i was there as an assistant coach one time but um when you work hard and you're detailed and you're prepared you know you kind of let the chips fall where they may after that yeah all right uh thank you coach i have one last question yeah the roback question promo code take for 20% off your first purchase.
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Use promo code TAKE. So my last question, Coach, and this has been fantastic.
We loved having you on. You had a quote.
So Jokic has had eight triple doubles in these playoffs. He's been out of this world averaging a triple double.
And you had a quote saying there's no stat padding there. Like he's doing it.
And it's not like something that we're, you know, orchestrating. So walk me through game six of the Suns when you're up 20 with two, three minutes left.
And Jokic is still on the court because he only has nine rebounds. Walk me through that decision.
I said he doesn't stab that. I stab that for him.
I keep him out there so we can get those marks. You know, it's funny you say that.
Somebody asked me a question, and then I was walking out of the press room after that game, and the guy who asked me the question came up to me and goes, you know I agree these playoffs Nicole has been unbelievable he goes but one one rebound in the Phoenix Sun series I have to say he did stat pad yeah it is great because you're right you're right he is not stat pad he's been unbelievable but there is that one game where you were you were up 20 the Suns were dead and he was still in there with three minutes left and I was like huh and then he And then he got his rebound and he got pulled. I think he got a rebound, another assist, and he got taken out like 20 seconds later.
Well, you know what's funny about it? Like I get these questions after like a big game and there's always going to be some guy saying to me, Coach, you were up 25, but three minutes ago, you still had your starters in. And like that's what they focus on.
For me,, maybe it's being around the game as long as I have been.

And probably to the detriment at times,

I always have fear that somebody is going to come back and make a run with

the three point line.

And so, and then I got home yesterday and my, I got two daughters,

a senior who just graduated.

She'll be a freshman in college next year.

And a sophomore who will be a junior next year.

And they came over to me laughing and there was this meme and it says uh this is uh mike malone when his team is up 30 and somebody doesn't hustle down the court and it was a guy a coach throwing a chair across the court and they and it said and like one of the titles is that bro is always angry so i'm not always angry i can smile and have a good time with you guys. Yeah, yeah.
No, listen, we love the Nuggets. We're a very pro Nuggets podcast.
We've been rooting for you for a while. I do want to say it was a, from a personal standpoint, it was a questionable decision to not play KCP the entire fourth quarter of game two.
What was going on with that? Some of us were very interested in KCP getting one more anything in the stat column, and you didn't play him the entire fourth quarter, Coach. Zero minutes in the fourth quarter.
And the best thing about that is if you see KCP in the fourth quarter when he's not in. He's the first guy off the bench.
He's cheering

on Bruce Brown, who played for him in that fourth quarter. And after that game, I think it was the same game where Jeff Green and Bruce played the whole fourth quarter and KCP and Aaron Gordon did not.
And that group that was out there just was playing at such a high level, defending, scoring, and we pulled away.

So I'm sorry.

You gave him a participation trophy on his bet. Well, no, thank you for your apology.
That's all I was looking for. Listen, I'm not making this personal.
The apology was well received. I appreciate that.
If high fives counted as points, you would have won that bet. So PFT, help me out.
So PFT stands for? It stands for Pro Football Talk. Okay.
Or Pretty F&E Thick, either one. So when are we going to change it to PBT? Pro Basketball Talk? Yeah.
If the Nuggets win, I'll be PBT in the finals. Yeah.
You heard it here. There we go.
We know ball. In the finals, I will be PNT commenter.
Yeah. And then yesterday, the guys told me, oh, you're going to love these guys.
They're awesome. Big cat.
I'm like, Andres Galarraga's got a podcast. So now I have a much better awareness of you guys, the podcast, and I will definitely be tuning in.
so I used to do a hit for the Bears in Chicago on Fox Chicago at

like 7 a.m. on Mondays after their games.

And there's a big cat, James Williams, who used to play for the Bears.

And so when I showed up the first time, the people were like, wait, you're not like a

six, seven black guy.

What's going on here?

So I, it happens every now and then.

Yeah.

But Andres Galarraga, legend of the game. Legend, legend, no doubt.
Yeah. Well, coach, best of luck.
We're rooting for you. We appreciate you coming on and we got a, you're now a recurring guest.
So anytime we want you on, you have to come on. I can't wait.
I will definitely be on with you guys again. Looking forward to appreciate the time and the opportunity and appreciate all your support.
Love to hear that this is a pro nuggets podcast. We appreciate that.
There's not many of them out there. So thanks a lot.
Yeah, absolutely. All right.
See you coach. Michael Malone was brought to you by our great friends at the Barstool store.
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and now here's Big Jay Oakersonerson and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is big j okerson very funny comedian go check out his uh new special dog belly you can watch it on youtube now big j thank you for coming in thank you for having me what a cool studio it's You know it's a dump. You can just say it's a dump.
It's lived in. It's lived in, for sure.
No, it's definitely... It needs a woman's charm, I guess, but I gotta respect the Smith machine, the weightlifting rack.
Yeah, you haven't even noticed... The best part about it is you're sitting on a couch that is being held up by paint cans.
Is it really? Yeah, so be careful with any sudden movements. Also, this is velour, so I assume any part that's scratchy is semen.
Yes, probably. Yes, exactly.
Well, so thank you for coming on, man. You are a very, very accomplished, funny comedian.
We thought it would be great to have you on. You're also a sports fan? Yeah, big sports day for Philly.
Yeah. Bob.
Outski. Yeah.
So if you look right there to your left, Max, our producer, he's actually getting people are saying he looks like you right now because he's got a soul patch. He had to get the soul patch because the Sixers lost to the Celtics.
Oh, that was the thing. Yeah.
Are you a Sixers fan or you just thought they were going to win? No. Unfortunately, a Sixers fan.
Yeah. Do you feel like getting rid of Doc, that's going to cure anything? I think it's good.
You had to get rid of Doc. It's the first move, yeah.
I don't know at this point. This might just be me talking angry shit because they lost, but I think maybe Embiid could go too at this point.
Yeah. Doesn't have that dog.
Yeah don't think he's uh he's gonna be a winner yeah yeah he's awesome i mean he's an unbelievable talent and that's my favorite like our show is basically built on being like you know the dumbest sports fans and that i would imagine is being called into every philly radio station right now being like he's not a winner he's a loser guy who just won the mvp yeah he's. I don't think he's a loser is the wrong word.
I just don't think he's like, he doesn't have that fight. Like you said, he won't put the he can't lead that team.
Yeah, but he doesn't make anybody else better. It's been a while since we had the championship DNA conversation.
I don't know if he has championship DNA. He gives off a little Carson Wentz vibes.
Yes, but I'm also. That's the meanest thing you can say about someone ever i know it is that was that was over the line i'll admit that i'm almost thinking for philly and the personality of philly sports i say a straight up for john moran yeah i like that philly can handle uh a problematic like alan iver he's like alan iverson yeah way to me.
Yeah. Like, the way he plays and his off-court.

If there was social media when Allen Iverson was playing,

he'd have flashed a gun.

Oh, for sure.

He got caught with guns, like, all the time.

Yeah.

And he would just get in trouble, but there's no video.

Right.

There wasn't, like, TikToks of him, like,

singing and waving it around.

It is.

We were talking about it the other day,

but it's just insane that John Morant, like,

the one rule is just don't take your gun out during an instagram live it's very easy actually yeah you'd have thought he would have like figured it out after the first one but it does now make funny like all of the you know when he has to do a sit down wearing like a turtleneck and be like that's not me i should have done that that's not the person i am and i don't you I know that. And he was so like, and then, you know, what is it? A month later? Yeah.
Yeah. Well, it was.
Season's over. It was a little longer than two months.
Let's give him some grace. It's been three days now.
So we can say today it's been three days since John Moran has last showed a firearm on a social media post. They had to erase that board that says Days Without Incident? Yeah.
Let's celebrate the progress on this one. i was reading a little bit about your history and the way that you came up through the scene did you you were you got started doing stand-up when you were in college is that right no oh yeah i guess so i was in college for like a month or two and then i tried an open mic and i did good enough that it gave me an excuse to quit college yeah i love it it it.
It wasn't a good excuse. Actually, Bert Kreischer on his podcast, we had one of the funniest moments of self-realization.
Maybe sometimes I feel like we hang on to something we thought when we were younger and has never really been challenged. And I used to always tell the story of starting comedy.
I told this to Bert on his podcast once. I was like, I started started doing comedy i dropped out of college uh immediately it was just community college anyway and my uh my parents were all pissed off and uh they got furious and i said that i eventually got my family to get behind me just in the sense of i had a speech with them and i was like you know this is i'm a quitter by nature and uh if i have a backup plan i'll bail this.
But I think I want to try doing this. So, you know, I can go back to school in a couple of years if this isn't working out good.
But right now I got to put all my eggs into this basket. And Bert just started cackling and goes, you could have done both.
And he's absolutely right. Yeah, absolutely.
I just didn't care for school. Yeah.
So any excuse to get out of it would have been fine for me. it's a good origin it's like bill gates did bill gates drop out of college no i think yeah kobe kobe yeah kobe kobe yeah all these guys didn't go to college yeah kairi yeah and then yana yeah all these guys yeah darryl dawkins it makes sense though it's like uh you know burn the boats you know you don't have if you don't leave yourself a backup option was young enough.
I mean, I was doing comedy. You first start.
If you're getting up once a week, it's fantastic. Right.
And these things are always at night, and they're not over too late. And these are all things I could have just gone to the three classes I was taking.
Right, do a 10-minute set. Yeah.
Do you remember the first joke you took? I have to put all my eggs in this basket. Well, I mean, that is true.
If you want to be a real comedian, you have to, like, wake up at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to live that life.
Drink a beer to get rid of the shakes. Yeah.
My first, I don't remember the first joke I ever told, but I know my first, like, set I ever wrote was all, it's such an interesting thing starting, started at 19 so when you're that young you

don't realize i think until you get older like you need some life experience to right talk about

so when i first started i thought i was being a genius too i was like jerry springer shows crazy

what's with maury povich living with your mom's nuts you're just you're just doing the greatest

hits of skipping school and staying home yeah yeah you What's with the Price is Right? Yeah. You guys think you'd rock Plinko? What's going on there? I remember it was Eddie Murphy that was talking about kind of that same thing, write what you know, and his first set was just about taking a shit.
Yeah. Because he was like 14 years old, and that's the entire life experience that he had was just shitting.
Well, it's kind of funny. Eddie Murphy is such a good example because he lives on those two specials.
And not to take anything away from him, they were hits and they were both great and they hit me when I was younger. But as someone who's been doing it so long now, I see the 19-year-old, because he was 19 in Delirious.
Right. So I see that all over it now.
Do you know what I mean? At the time, he was older than me when I saw it and i thought he was like a seasoned and he was but like the material itself is not really like anything like like you know it doesn't really give you any insight into him yeah he does a a long sit on like you know what if this old tv star butt fuck this tv star i mean that plays and then like the one long story about the barbecue yeah the rocky story like don't don't mess with a white guy after you just saw Rocky. And then Raw.
Yeah, Raw was in his early 20s. So yeah, it is funny.
He's always threatening to come back and do comedy again. And then it doesn't work out.
And then I think the reason always comes out. He's like, well, where could I possibly work out new jokes when I'm so famous? Right.
You could, I think he's worried. Like he, I don't know if his skill level on that particular thing, stand up is like changed, but he hasn't done it in 30 years.
Yeah. It'd be pretty rocky.
And from everything we've talked about with, with comedians, it really is. You have to do it every day.
Like you, all you could do is disappoint. Right.
Yeah, that's true. That is true.
You can't really do anything. oh wow right where he left off right right yeah the bar's already so he left the bar so high you can't just show up guys i went to go see creed three in the theater the other day he's got to move up with a rocky movie so you also uh you were you were security for escorts is that right yeah i mean that's a wild i mean everyone you you have the look like anyone who's been on maybe not escorts but like a bachelor party and you hire a stripper you usually walk in the door yeah they were relying on that look and didn't really ask me about any of my defensive skills or uh and the look you know i guess usually would work i try to use my mind in that i job more like where you know there is somebody somebody in the ladder here has given a credit card number to somebody right because uh you know that's just how it works so like reminding them of that driving escorts that were just escorts was actually weirdly seedier because you just drive and like you wait outside of some weird house and then some girl goes in and then comes out and then has to have a conversation with you like like you know right she's like sorry i was late i had to queef out some calm sorry were you waiting long uh yeah the other ones were like uh you'd go and they were like strippers also so like you'd go in and they would like dance.
And some of them weren't escorts. But some of them like it was pretty gross.
Yeah. I mean, it is like the look, I think, is 95 percent of the job because you walk in and it's a bunch of dudes at a bachelor party.
And they just need to have someone who they're like, oh, he could probably fuck me but sometimes it would be like sending me to north philadelphia with like 15 like uh young black dudes and me where they're good so it's like you know you gotta be like hey guys rap music right just try to like relate hey look at my fubu sneakers i'm sure you had some wild so you were doing that and stand up at the same time yeah i thought it was a good way to like make money and not have to like put too much work in also fat insecure kid that i definitely thought i was like oh and these hot shit like one i might get paid to watch these girls get naked basically yeah and then uh and then they're probably gonna be all horned up probably take a shot at me shot the title on the way home no it was you go it was mostly depressing and then the ride home was them you know telling me their long-term plan of getting their children back from the government or yeah finally getting away from this guy that beats them up yeah okay well here we are yeah good luck yeah time to go get gang banged by guys in ocean city so let's put a pin in this conversation about your child being taken by the government let's go do this gang bang in ocean city new jersey yeah did you use your own car for that or was it a company car own car what did it smell like afterwards was there because you anyone that's ever had a stripper come to their house there's a distinct stripper smell yeah maybe there i don't really fully remember that i said i was definitely in the beginning i didn't do it very very long i shouldn't say i did it for several years but very on and off so i would do it like six weekends in a row or something and then i'd be like you know get away from it and then like you'd lose sort of that company and but there was a time where you could just go on the yellow pages and anything that was like you know you look for it's like bills creepy entertainment or something yeah some name it just made sense that it was going to be strippers yep and you can call and be like hey i'm a driver i've done this before and i mean with no back check they'll be go pick up these three girls you sound like not a murderer I did it one time in New York only. And it was sort of a different system, I think, here than it was in Philadelphia.
I picked up, I told this on Marc Maron's thing years ago, but I picked up these, it was three girls. And the plan in New York, they just have you get girls in the car and then just wait for something to roll in.

You know, you wait for a call to come in. Oh, so, yeah, you're like an Uber sitting there.
I mean, no one got a job of these girls. And thank God, that would have been its own problem.
Yeah. One of them mercifully didn't have a lazy eye.
One of the three. and then just listening to them compare notes over

how to get this one old man off that everybody gets called to and just it was really like uh it was pretty creepy and then just sitting in a car double parked in times square for like four hours and then the guy's like yep guess nothing tonight no work did you get paid and that no no there's no it's the only the only night i ever did it in new york it was just one night i would imagine talking about life experience and how you started coming at 19 that's that's like the fastest way to get life experience to do a job like that yeah no for sure and also comedy itself because then you start traveling and opening for you and you kind of get like experience how it goes you know it's like someone like pete davidson who's like so young but i mean he was thrust into life experience he definitely has things to talk about right right because of all those things but yeah at 19 all i knew was like my mom's house me and my friends going to an eagles game playing basketball and going to the mall yeah to try to talk to chicks so it really wasn't anything like uh i had nothing it was all tv shows i've seen yeah movies i've watched yeah it's i was reading your bio it refers to you as a comics comic

that seems like a good thing to be called would you consider yourself a comics comic

i don't know i hope so i mean the people i always like like to watch i would describe like that

whether it be patrice or atel or people like that when they went on stage giraldo when they

went on stage the clubs like the comics all tried to like stop what they were doing and watch them

Thank you. that would be Patrice or Attell or people like that.
When they went on stage, Geraldo, when they went on stage, the clubs, like, the comics all tried to, like, stop what they were doing and watch them and the staff. So that's a cool thing.
But, yeah, it would also be good to be a people, an audiences comic. Yeah, I was going to say, is there, like, a little sneaky diss in there where it's like, yeah, he is the funniest guy.
He just hasn't had, like, the, like, Dane Cook tour. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's a i don't know if it's like backhanded at all but like it definitely is such a funny right yeah anyone they call a comic not that they're not successful people whatever they call a comics comic is like they're a comics comic because no one else knows about right yeah right the comics are aware what it said that you you were on a tough crowd right yeah i did it once yeah that seemed That seems like maybe one of the funniest shows that nobody talks about these days. I used to love watching Colin Quinn and the rotating panel that he would have on.
Sure. Where are you from? Are you from here? I'm from originally Washington, D.C., so I remember watching that show almost every night in college.
Yeah. The problem, I mean, it's great.
It was a hilarious show. I loved it but like i'd have to assume like the long term like issue with it was it was really local new york comedy scene like heavy you know i mean like you had to know right they would say names like the the booker of the comedy seller like everyone knew who it was yeah right and they go you know how Esty gets when she's in a bad mood booking the show yeah i assume people in like iowa are like what the fuck are they talking it was very local yeah but it was i mean one of the funniest shows ever on tv yeah but so so your new special is it dog belly you had a couple specials is this the one like i i love by the way that you did on youtube i feel like comedians are starting to do that and we've you know we're friends with uh stav and he has his special out on youtube like what did you try to sell it and you're like no i want to do it on youtube because i can make just as much money and more people will see it no i was trying to just have uh one of the streaming services pay for it outright just like it completely.
And then with all the quarantine stuff and like everything changing, I mean, quite frankly, it was like I had a couple like Netflix and HBO were both supposed to come like watch me like run the hour to see if they were interested in picking it up. And then by the time after like quarantine me too and then black lives matter happened and essentially in in not so many words they were like yeah we can't just throw some

straight white guy that no one really knows that well into the mix right here like there's nothing

to sell it with so it kind of like then i got defeated and then david tell and ari shafir were

kind of like the two people were like just let's do it right do it yourself yeah and then uh

Thank you. so it kind of like then i got defeated and then david tell and ari shafir were kind of like the two people were like let's just let's do it right do it yourself yeah and then uh easier said than done also it's crazy expensive to do yeah but like i do love the ownership of it and everything and it is pretty great but then we were like we'll make it high quality also so we can like try to sell it and then by the time it came like you know hey now's the time to like shop this around if we're gonna see if somebody wants to buy it i was like man it's gonna hurt more if i give them a finished product too and then they go this is great but no yeah so i was just like let's just give it let's just give it out uh for free and then you hope you know moves tickets yeah when you were watching the debut of it on youtube were you nervous were you did you click into be like nobody's gonna watch this oh my god it was fun yeah it is that's the other thing with all the streaming services that my i've been on comedy central and netflix before and like you only just know by like reaction online yeah like social media uh interaction and like uh you know there's nothing to stress over the numbers that when it's on youtube go like every hour and be like huh that was a slow hour yeah yeah and now it's like you know even hits like and it did great it's like 1.6 million i think it is uh in a month which is good i think we hit the million in five days that's almost the thing i hit the million in five days and now it's like 1.6 and you're like seem to have hit a bit of a wall there so you don't know what's going to make people like jump back on it again yeah no matter how much promotion you put into it no matter how big you are i assume that everybody at every level has that moment where they click into it and they're like what if nobody watches me yeah like i would definitely be thinking about that especially all the promotion i did like leading up to it and then like ari was great you know in the producing of it like the day it came out he made me just like five hours and text every celebrity or person i've met in my life some of them did it too which is pretty funny like hey lead singer of living color we're sort of we sort of know each other and he promoted it for me which i thought was really cool yeah that's always a shitty feeling to have to do like in the content game to like ask other people to share because it's it is what makes kind of the world go around but it also like it never is fun to just be like hey you're my friend can you do this even though we're friends like please plug me also i don't have good karma on that i have a lot of people that are like can you post this thing and i'll just be like mark as unread yeah right right right and then time comes for you and you're like shit yeah i probably should have replied yeah and then i'll be crappy i'll be like can you believe so and so didn't answer the way i wouldn't know if you did not promote their special as well right or just like the week before your special comes out you just go back through all those messages and just do nothing but other people.
Just knowing that you're about to send that text out to them. Yeah, just build it all up.
I also, I was listening to a show you're on probably a month ago. You do a lot of cruises or you've done a lot of cruises.
Yeah. I'm fascinated with that, what it's like to be a performer on a cruise because I've been on a cruise maybe once or twice um they're not the best they suck yeah i was good like it is very weird pretty quick yeah to be on vacation with everyone at the same time but from a performer's perspective like are you just watching the whole thing being like what is going on well it's funny whatever day however many days a cruise is i feel like I've done like the four and, I think I've done three, four, and five days I performed on.
And whether it's five or three, the last day you're like, get me off this goddamn thing. Right.
Like if I can't look at this buffet or buffet people anymore. Yeah.
But I've never done like a cruise ship that was like, thank God, that's the thing that it'd be a tail tuck for me because it's just what I do. but if you do like a cruise ship that was like thank god that's just the thing that it'd be a tail tuck for me because just what i do but if you do like a like carnival cruise lines or norwegian cruise and you're on just the cruise as the comedian the rules are insane uh there's a comic like legendarily got helicoptered off the plane because he went into a girl like a girl's room like on the cruise they found that he went with like a customer right into the room they helicoptered him off the plane because it's such a rule break apparently right but the ones i've all done are chartered cruises so it could be carnival or norwegian but they're not involved it's it's taken over by a So I've done a Shiprocked is the one I've done the most.
It's a heavy metal cruise ship. Oh, that's badass.
So it's called like Korn and Godsmack and all these bands that I've done it with. And that's rule-less.
You can go back to anybody's room. But the median weight of females on Shiprocked, I'd say, is about me plus.
So it's not a real fuck fest. Right.
But it is like there are no rules. So it's not so bad in that regard.
And then also, in your downtime, you could go watch bands play all day long. Right.
It's pretty cool. But I mean, I assume...
And even that, after a while, just like they suck.

You know what I mean?

You go and you do them, but like they wear a thing.

I've done the Impractical Jokers a couple times.

That's fun.

There's a bunch of friends on it there.

So like the entertainment-wise and stuff to do is better on those,

but it's still just after so many days.

Yeah. And if I was just on a cruise ship where the entertainment was like

a Cher impersonator and like a comic who has to do cruise ships, it would be, yeah. Yeah.
So that sounds crazy. They helicoptered a guy off because you're not allowed to fraternize at all with the other people that are on the cruise.
You have to just like be by yourself or with the other performers. Yeah.
And you could hang out, I think, with like the staff that's from all over the globe right so like no one has a great grip on english they just know how to say washi washi and squirt your hands with hands yeah i see i see you got the uh the x on your hand are you straight edge no that's that's almost like that's confusing that's like stolen valor straight edge people so confusing i think the last little bit of ink was getting put into it when someone came up to me and

goes, straight edge?

And I was like, oh, right.

No, it's my show.

That's the bonfire logo.

And that's the mouth of the Legion of Skanks logo.

So that's what it's supposed to be.

But yes, it does appear that I am straight edge.

Yeah.

It does confuse people when I smoke pot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was going to say.

And that's my pot smoking hand. Yeah.
So confusing suck on that cm punk you started your own festival with skank fest which like that's i mean incredible like to to have the balls to be like hey let's get everyone together it's grown to such a huge level did you ever imagine that it would get to like the level that people are looking forward to buying tickets right away to skank fest every year i didn't even think it was a good idea i thought it was going to be a failure of an idea um that's the vision of lewis j gomez he really like sees it you know he knows how to like him you know he got uh rebecca trent and christine evans who's my girlfriend for a long time now uh to kind of help him. And they're all three partners.
Those are the three major partners of the festival. And they put that thing together every year.
I'm just like a figurehead by name. It's my podcast.
It's kind of like the focal point of it. But, yeah, that's those guys.
I really – I'm small potatoes in my visions. When I did my first Comedy Central special,

it was like 17 years into doing comedy.

I got that.

And my agents reminded me the other day

when we finished the second show that night.

I went to him and I was like,

that was as far as I pictured in comedy.

I'm like, I don't know what the next thing is.

Yeah.

I said I wanted to do an hour special

that everyone could see.

That's it.

Yep.

I'm like, now what?

Pack it up.

Yeah. It's over.
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Now here's more Big J. So what is the next big thing for you to conquer? You want to do movies, TV? Nope.
I don't like either of those things. I love broadcasting.
I really do. I really like to do the bonfire with Robert Kelly now.
I did it for eight years with Dan Soder, who's a genius at that stuff. Excuse me, Legion of Skanks.
have so many like broadcasts that seems to scratch the same itches like stand up to me yeah acting and like sitting around reading other people's like funny words or whatever doesn't really like i don't know i don't like it i feel like every time i've done acting i was in a movie hustlers and within and within those three days, I was there.

Long days.

But within that, I got to watch J-Lo do, like, the dance she did in the movie, which was insane. Cardi B was there at one point, Lizzo, Usher, and, of course, J-Lo.
And with all of it, I just, I mean, the 30 seconds or two minutes of like actual filming I was a part of every day was not worth the just sitting. I still look at those days as like nightmarishly long sitting around doing nothing days.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you were smart to drop out of college. Yeah.
Yeah. Sitting in class.
It wasn't my thing. It wasn't my thing.
What's, I love asking comedians, like, what's the best underrated comedy city in America that you like to go? Because most comedians, and you can maybe tell me I'm wrong, they say Miami sucks. Wow, really? Does everybody say that? Yeah.
Because I, yeah, Miami sucks. Yeah, why is that? I don that i don't know well for me it's because whatever reason that's just a city i just like don't draw like tickets in okay and then people show up for a comedy show and and it's mostly cubans who want to hear you know cuban household parents are like this right and i don't don't have any of that.
In fact, I go up there. I'm like, what's up, Cubans? And then I start doing a Mexican voice for them, which they don't love.
I think people are just too hot in Miami. Like physically.
I think you're right. It's a city that does like they want to go party.
They want to interact. They're not really into like sitting and observing like a thing.
So unless again, if I was drawing my own audience, it's I mean, I Tampa is a great place for me. Yeah, but they love Hulk Hogan.
Right. Yeah.
I mean, Tampa, like all the retired wrestlers living in Tampa is one of my favorite things about it. So funny.
Yeah. I on Monday nights, you can go to Hulk Hogan's restaurant and it's just like-

I've been.

You know, it's like, what happened?

He goes, I just had coconut shrimp

with Bruce the Barber beef.

Yeah, yes.

Yes, there's something about Tampa.

It's just like, it's just so pure Florida.

Like, people think of Florida,

they think of Miami.

I think Tampa is the most Florida of Florida.

No, it is because you get all of it.

It's the white trash,

the morbidly obese Latinas walking around in uh short shorts and bathing suits i mean just confidence yeah yeah it's it's a beautiful beautiful place it's a place that's why i would never live there florida's too humid for me to live my fat hoodie lifestyle all year round oh yeah dude tell me i mean i was actually wondering like have you been big j forever because that like i know personally like the bodega i go to around the corner from my house like i'll walk out and there's a guy out there all the time who calls me big guy and i'm like that kind of hurts because i know he's not saying that to everyone you know what i mean like he's saying he's profiling me he's like big guy hey big man yeah So were you always big jay yeah well the name came was funny why that even sticks like in like comedy and like that i've just always used it was when i first started comedy i i switched schools senior year of high school i went from philadelphia to south jersey for one year and my best friend that i became friends with at school's name was jay also by the way six foot tall not little but he was uh he started dating a girl who was like kind of friends with the group so when she would differentiate who she was she would say big j and little j he's still called little j by the way which is so funny yeah um but uh and was it. So then when I started doing comedy, I started in the all-black circuit.
And I saw the disregard for a comic's last name by the host was very evident right away. They really didn't.
So rather than have it get massacred all the time, I was like, I'll just be Big J. and then which worked out and then when i started getting uh into the more mainstream stuff like the mainstream clubs and everything i just put my last name on it but i kept big j such a funny pompous thought because i have none i'm sure but i was like what about all my black circuit fans right i don't want to not know who you know they see jayerson, they're not going to know it's their favorite white comic.
Yeah, you don't want to turn your back on them. And it's funny at 45 getting the question because I always just, like, give, like, a half-hearted.
They're like, what do you want me to say? I bring up Big Jay or just Jay Oakerson? I'm like, whatever, man. It's weird if you say one or the other.
No, big J, please.

Yeah, don't fuck this up.

Would you rather be like a slightly portly man, like in Big Cat's example and have somebody

be like, what's up, big dog?

Or would you rather be someone who's evidently small like myself and be called like, what's

up, big boy?

Because for me, whenever I get called like, I mean, I hate. Yeah, that's the one way that you can really twist a knife it's like you don't you don't mean that i don't know it's funny i i have so many uh like internal aspirations to just go shopping at a mall and buy cool jeans and be smaller yeah but i also feel like there's like an identity loss in being like too small like Like one thing I've always, not that I haven't had any problems or people fucking with me physically in the world, but I think it's just a little less of like that.
You know what I mean? I've also done, just for like argument's sake, squatted down and walked at a height of like a girl I know once, and I was like, what a terrifying world. Yeah, right.
It looks like everybody's like looming over you when they talk and everything so it's like uh i guess i'd rather be like a bigger guy than a smaller guy yeah i don't want to shred it you can't die from small yeah that's true you can't yeah being like oh you can yeah you can starve to death yeah small people do live longer that is just a fact. Like big dogs.
Like I know, like there's a there's a moment where my body will just be like, you shouldn't have done all this. Yeah.
But then you also have those years where you're a very heavy problem for everybody. That's true.
When you can't move so much. Can't be picked up.
Carry a tank of something with you at all times. Connected to nose hoses.
Yes. Yeah.
You can't get shredded, though, because that's not funny like there are no really good looking comedians there's something i think there's really funny people that are they have to find it's almost that's like the harder thing is then you have to find what's like like kitschy about you you can't just be like it's always been very easy for me to get pussy and i got a pretty awesome dick yeah. Yeah, right, right.
You're not going to really reel anybody in with that one.

So that's the other thing is like being a big guy, especially young.

That was such a funny thing me and Patrice O'Neill had

in the beginning of my comedy because I, as most fat comics will do,

to all my jokes in the beginning, again,

because I had no limited life experience where I'm fat, and this is what being fat's like, and this is fat, and I've done this fat thing. And I guess Patrice had a bunch of jokes like that too at the time, like just being fat jokes.
And I remember we did a show at Caroline's here in New York one time, the late Caroline's now, years ago. And he, something, it kind of telephoned back to me.
I looked up to Patrice so much. And they were like, Patrice says you're stealing his material.
And that got me, that frazzled me in so many ways because one i look up to him too i was hurt because i mean

i know it's not true and also like but i'm like well how do i argue this like i don't want to be if i go argue this patrice like he's gonna win the argument he's like such a bigger personality and and funnier and there's all these like you know so i i kind of ignored him for a while and i remember he gave me a call landline how long ago this was and his first word just goes i didn't say that you were stealing my jokes he explained that he was like i just said to someone i go by the time i get on stage closing these shows these showcases i have nothing to talk about because jay's doing all fat guy stuff which made much more sense to me and then he said yeah he goes but i'm gonna like he goes but i shouldn't even have said that because he was like you could do with those jokes do them he's like i'm been doing this longer i should be i don't want to just do i got more to say than just like simple fat guy jokes and as soon as he said that i was like well i don't want to just do simple fact yeah so i feel like that was such an important moment for me too to almost be like yeah i shouldn't rely because i don't want to be my eventually my thing be taken down by like a fat a fatter guy oh no a fat guy's going on before me i'm done there's another up-and-coming fatter comedian you're fucked you're looking at like everyone who's doing the stand in the comedy cell you're like wait you're checking weight his bmi is okay his oh no he's from philly too oh shit we got a fat guy and then the anger when a guy who's like slightly chubby he's like being a big fat fuck like me like don't yeah you can't you can't take those you can't take that from us yeah that's interesting that sounds like a a pretty cool thing for patrice to do to like have the ability to see that yeah he's not stealing material i'll call him i'll give him some words of encouragement because he got back to him yeah um he seems like a good guy and i always seem that it always seems like in comedy there's always going to be competition even if they're your friends if they're your peers you're all ultimately competing against each other in the same way but i do think that now that there's more opportunities that's just not you know you get a special on comedy central you get a special on HBO. Now that there's more opportunities for you to put your own stuff out, I do feel like from the comedians we've talked to, it's become more like, yeah, you can have friends, like true friends that you root for.
No, absolutely. There's so many avenues and stuff too.
And I think also like that competition thing, I don't, it's not a, I wonder if that was more of like an LA thing new york i've always felt much more of a sense i know i think it's changed now i think there's so much splintering with like there's like a woke comedy scene or something it's like a whole different it's just crazy shit but uh in new york i felt because new york did what didn't really seem to be like the bulk of everybody was trying to become like a sitcom actor or anything. If you were doing that, you were out in L.A.
And I think that competition, but it manifested in a weirder way. In L.A., everyone was super nice to each other, it seemed like.
Very complimentary. And no matter what you did, Kevin Hart explained this to me once when he moved out there, what the difference was.
And he used the example that if I started i uh started going hey guys i'm wearing uh i'm start wearing a half top on stage it's my new thing fat guy in a half top you know if i walked into the comedy cell or new york clubs like that there's five guys waiting to trash me out of that for my own good to be like what the hell are you doing right you look like a moron like that's stupid in LA because it's so competitive when they know it's a ridiculously shitty idea just in case that idea pops in some way they're like brilliant dude it's so brilliant you know because like you're drawing people you're brave it's whatever you know so it was more it sounded more supportive I feel like in that world but've never, like I said, I have no acting movie star TV heavy ambitions at all. So I feel no competition with any.
I love comics. I like bullshitting with them and hanging out with them as much as possible.
I do think, though, I've always thought the idea how people, the NBA has become, the offseason is almost more exciting than the season for some people where it's like the the trades and the who wants out if you could find someone who could like the woge or the shams of the comedy scene yeah and being like this guy talks shit about this guy like this guy doesn't think he should be headlining and not opening like yeah it would it would be fascinating to watch oh man if yeah but it would be bad yeah i would assume it would be very bad very quickly well you know i think i can't speak on everybody but i feel like especially my friend groups there's like my opinion of someone's comedy does not ever affect my opinion of them as like a person you know i mean now the people that i choose to be like friends with are people who like and ever years ago when i started even i kind of like catch shit for that because i was hanging out i was told by keith robinson who kind of mentored us do comedy with our like peers and wherever you can get stage time but kind of hang around the higher-ups you know i mean the guys you like look up to kind of where you want to be and i would do that but then i would kind of like catch shit because when i was like a 10-year comic and it's like he hangs out every day with these like four or five-year comics that are his friends that'd be like like lewis and dave from legion And I'm like, yeah, well, they make me laugh.

You know what I mean?

I know they're young comics and figuring out that.

But I was technically still a young comic.

You know, I was just a little longer than they were.

We talk about that all the time on the show, like the thing like they couldn't believe.

Yesterday on Legion of Skanks, Dave was saying Dave Smith used to be at my house all the time.

And he was broke.

And he was like, they thought I was kind of like doing it because I was working the clubs a little bit, but they didn't, you know. I was also broke.
And Dave saying that he was impressed that when we wanted to order food, like I had one of those change jugs that had enough change for us to. He's like, man, this guy can just go pull $20 out of that change jug whenever he wants to.
He's killing it. Yeah, they were impressed by that.
Yeah like my friendships were not and i said like i've always taken people on the right go soon almost to a flaw i used to get shit for it that it's like if i had like a pinky inside the door i was also like can my friends come right yeah because i like to have like people around and stuff like i've gotten better spending time by myself as i got older now but like when i was younger i was like we'll get these guys in also that's a great quality to have i want them to be around yeah so i i did cut you off what's your favorite underrated comedy city underrated comedy system my said miami sucks yeah um i don't know if it's like necessarily a city because i think like denver is like it's people know how great denver is right it's that club you know but more i'd say the most underrated state for comedy is ohio ohio just has a crazy amount of clubs for me and my like like what i prefer with like audiences it's all blue's all blue collar, pretty much. You know what I mean? That's where I kind of flourish in a place where, again, because of broadcasting, it's truckers, blue collar factory warehouse guys, people who can just put in headphones and just do their job all day.
And getting them through that kind of thing is, like, where I tend to do where. So I like those ohio just has i mean so many clubs that's crazy i never even thought 10 15 clubs yeah yeah a bunch of like a bunch of big cities that are slept on in ohio like columbus is a very very big city columbus and a kill great club um cleveland's got a great club cincinnati's got a great club so it's like yeah they're all over the place then.
Then there's like Dayton and Toledo and these like smaller cities that still have like a funny bone in them you can go do. So I do like that.
That's probably my most underrated. That's a good answer.
How bad did the Eagles Super Bowl hurt you? You were there. Would have hurt worse if I paid for it, not Burt.
Yeah. That's, well, Max, our producer, I had a future on the Eagles to win 200 grand.

I put it in August, 22 to 1.

So I sent him, because he's a diehard Eagles fan, I bought him a ticket for six grand.

And I said, if the Eagles win, you don't have to pay me back.

But if the Eagles lose, you have to pay me back every dollar.

So he had the watching the Eagles lose and then realizing at the end he had to pay for the ticket. His face isn't enjoying the story.
Yeah, no. You're not over it.
It's just a punching bag for all Philadelphia failures. I'm happy that we could bring up both of them within the past 30 minutes.
It was a hell of a year. Even the sports I couldn't care about.
You know, they also lost soccer this year. Yes, did they? Yes, yes.
On the same weekend, they lost. Oh, I forgot about that too.
Yeah, but that – I mean, so do you like watch every Eagles game you're in into the season and everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard.
I watch every Sixers game too. I watch all 82 games.
Damn. With minimal exceptions.
Sometimes it gets ruined for me and it's not worth it to watch it.

But for the most part, I'm able to avoid it.

And I watch mostly on DVR, yeah.

I'm usually flying home on Sunday when the game's happening.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, it is.

It's my complete escape.

It's my favorite thing. But Eagles and Sixers primarily.

I love it.

I don't watch hockey or baseball, really.

I feel like there's a lot of comedians that just don't like sports. It's weird.
Maybe it's just because, I don't know. I don't know what it is.
There's so many gays now. But I feel like we have comedians on all the time.
Because gays are taking over comedy? You said you heard it here first. Or sports.
Or sports. Maybe it's the other way.
Or sports. Comedians are like, no, I'm not watching watching this but yeah i i feel like maybe i'm way off like um no there's plenty that yeah do not care at all right a bunch of my friends don't in fact i have very few comedian friends who give a shit about sports right yeah a lot of them couldn't care less shane for sure yeah shane loves sports yeah loves.
But, like, Joe DeRosa's, like, good friend of mine, doesn't care. I always wonder, like, what...
It would open up so much of my life if I didn't care about sports. My scheduling, like, just, like, happiness.
Yeah, well, I just... For me, it's like a pure...
It's an unjudgeable escape from... I guess unjudgeable is wrong.
Yeah, we just called Embiid a loser.

Yeah, so it's judgeable.

But I mean, it's just pure, like, there's nothing I can do about any of it.

You know what I mean?

Right.

It's just my pure enjoyment.

Yeah.

That's why I fell in love with the Impractical Jokers and Jackass

and those kind of shows so much that I'm a fan of

is because that's what it's unjudgeable comedy for me.

It's like, I wouldn't do that. Right.
Like, it's something I would. So there's no way I can watch that and be like you know it would have been funnier you know this could have been like I have no idea right it's not my like thing at all so it's like I can appreciate that I think sports has a similar thing yeah it's like sit back and watch these guys go my emotion towards sports has gotten funnier as I got older how so just like the like the actual, like the beautiful story of like a thing.
I remember a couple years ago, I think it was the first year the Sixers made the playoffs in like quite some time. And we went to the game.
We went to the game one, I think, against the Heat it was. And they won the first round.
This is back when, this was before Doc Rivers, still Brett Brown. But they made the playoffs with Embiid, and they showed the hype video before the game.
And my girlfriend and my daughter are both kind of looking at me because I was glassy-eyed for sure. Yes.
And they were like, what? And I was like, these 12 guys, man, just like, like they weren't supposed to do anything this year they just did so it was i'm so proud like i should be proud of guys who i don't know at all man was i proud dude great group of kids that is so true though it's i was saying a couple months ago on this show they should have if you go to a therapist if a guy goes to a therapist they should give you like a mitt and a ball to throw back and forth with your therapist so you can open up about all this stuff while just playing catch and yeah well it's not gay because yeah i'm playing sports also uh doctor can you call me champ yeah right right let me let me swing the bat yeah no it's it's true how's work going yeah. I'm sure a lot of guys would actually open up in this situation.
Yeah, hitting a home run at work? Just using only sports. Yeah, Poppa sure did.
I sure did. I mean, I remember that game was so funny how emotional I got.
I mean, like, I get – I'll go back and watch hype videos for things that, like, are way over the Super Bowl win year for the Eagles. Some genius put together a promo, and it's the whole season going backwards.
Do you remember seeing that at all? It's like every story has a beginning, I think it's called. I watch it a lot.
Yeah. And it just goes, it starts at the winning, the championship game, to go go to the super bowl and then it just starts doing everything backwards while playing negative talk clips oh yeah so it's like them winning against the falcons and it's like you hear what they're saying carson wentz is out this season's over and then they show the the 61 yard field goal come back to the t all the way back to like uh camp and the guy's like you know they're starting it all together and then they drop back on the line and then just cuts to doug peterson saying we're better than nine and seven guys we work too hard for this and it just i'm getting goosebumps telling it yeah it's stupid no but it's not yeah nobody believed in you guys no yeah i did that knew you guys had this in me.
Yeah. No, it's- But every year of Eagles and Sixers both, I go, at some point, my poor girlfriend, who tries desperately to care, but doesn't really, I look over and I go, something special happening this year.
At some point in the season, I go, something special here. Yeah.
So are you mad at the groundskeeper for the Super Bowl super bowl the guy that laid that grass down the slippery grass i hate i hate excuses and i want to say all of them no yeah but i really yeah cleats that one was fucked up he knew what he was doing i was very mad about that because a chiefs fan maybe you should only have to pay three grand back because of the grounds yeah now he loves to the fact fact that he's saying this. He just always yells at me for making that excuse.
Yeah. Because I did like a month long of excuses and like deep dives into the sod father.
And like everyone was like, you're a loser for caring this much. And then now I've just like, now that we've removed ourselves, I'm like, Max, remember when you fucking cared so much about this? I would never make an excuse for a lost bet.
that but i you're right like something about sports as you get older it's like you weirdly don't care as much but then you are like more romantic about it much romantic and and don't care which i think is good right that's a good i guess it's more things going on in your life there was a time like dan soda always reminds me even a short time ago i mean it was still mcnab years i think it was his

last year and they lost uh in the playoffs championship game to the um it was the cardinals

that was the cardinals uh versus pittsburgh yeah and they lost that game and everybody was going

to stay to watch the second game in my house and he reminds me i told everyone i was like

I think. the Cardinals versus Pittsburgh year.
Yep. And they lost that game and everybody was going to stay to watch the second game in my house.

And he reminds me, I told everyone, I was like,

guys, I'm not watching any more football.

Oh, we got to watch the other game. I'm like, I'm done.

Like, I was really bummed

and like, sort of angry. And I really

held that for a while.

Genuinely, and I'm happy about this. It's

good. I love, again, now I look at all

the news. I'm reading all the articles and Doc

Rivers is fire. And what do we do next?

I'm more like into that

Thank you. genuinely and i'm happy about this it's good i love again now i look at all the news i'm reading all the articles and doc rivers is fire and what do we do next i'm more like into that than i am like i'm already over the thing i'm like man they crumbled what else is new yeah i gotta move on from it much quicker yes was a part of you happy to see andy reed win no you don't let you don't love andy reed no i do love andy reed no for sure but not against the eagles obviously not against against the Eagles, but at the same time, it's like, oh, he's a good friend.
No, no, no, no, no. No, his remaining children, something could have happened to them, and I'd be like, whatever, dude.
Yeah. Whoever makes us win this game.
But you have to respect Andy Reid, at least the coach, Andy Reid. Maybe not the family man.
Yeah. But I I mean that guy's lost everything to football and just keeps showing up yeah it's true it's the only thing yes it is very true two children I think right one well yeah one died and then one yeah it was in yeah I think he might have I don't think he killed a kid but he like I think he did it was a vehicular man like I think the kid is in very bad shape yeah not great now you remember when hulk hogan's kid yes was racing around and nick yeah yeah he smashed into a tree and the his friend became a vegetable yeah and then they had the hulk they had the hulk hogan audio of the phone call and he was like i don't know what your friend did wrong with god brother that brought that kind of karma down on him.
Your son drunkenly driving into a tree? Jesus Christ. He's like man I don't know what your friend did seem like a good guy but he must have some darkness wearing a little.
He's hanging around the wrong crew. Anything wiretapped or illegally filmed with Hulk Hogan has not gone his way, I would say.

Now, good commercial for that big, thick wiener, though, right?

Yeah.

Pringles can.

I had a dangler.

He did.

He did.

All right. I have one last question.

This is a rowback question.

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Actually, speaking of shorts, I got to ask Big J, your look. I love your look.
Thank you. It's kind of like stuck in the 90s, but in a good way.
Sure. Is that like the jorts? You don't see jorts.
Enough. Enough.
I would say enough at all. I love it, though, because there does seem like some comedians, they hit success, which you've hit success, and they might go on steroids or get skinny or buy designer clothes.
I like it. Now, this is my thing.
You know what? I didn't dress when I was young any way that I necessarily would have been my first choice. Not that I hated it or anything how I was dressing,

but it was all kind of a choice of sizes.

It's another thing being like a big guy.

When I was younger, I would have dressed much more like

rock band shirts and all that kind of stuff.

And I just never did because I just went with the flow of everybody.

And that was whether it be the one strap-off overalls

or whatever the 90s brought. The old stripe shirt the pleated pants tech vest yeah yeah just everything i would try everything try to be the versus like what i wanted to do so then when i got the confidence to just do that i did but i know it's open to scrutiny which i'm fine with also no i like this you're like the the i mean i kind of do it every day where it's like being adults.
Awesome. I can eat ice cream every night.
That's right. Like I can dress however I want.
It's rules. Yeah.
I like, I feel like a, like a white ghost face killer. I like the look.
Yeah, no, it's good. It's like if, if, if you go to a place that wouldn't let you in while you're wearing jorts and a hoodie, is that a place you want be in no probably not fuck no no but it's also weird when they let me into a place because they do recognize me and then you're like i shouldn't go in actually because if you're not supposed to wear them i really don't want to be that sore thumb right yeah right does that happen a lot now i just did something uh on i did gutfeld on fox news the other day for the first time And I went there and as i was meeting the panel backstage i was like oh i didn't even overthink that i'm gonna be the guy with a knee ripped jeans and big combat boots on and everybody else is like in a wonderful suit or and the and the girls were dressed to the nines and it was like i sat there i'm? Hey, don't mind my knee and hand tattoos.
Oh, this? No, I'm not straight edge. I'm just an idiot.
The straight edge tattoo is very funny. Yeah, it is.
You're not straight edge. Because I'm sure you get that all the time.
All the time. Go to a bar, order a drink.
They're like, a tough week for you. Yeah.
They're like, wait a second. You're 17.
It's my first beer ever. That's the old me.
I kicked that habit of not drinking. All right.
Well, thanks so much for coming by, man. Thank you guys for having me.
Yeah, we appreciate it. Go check out Dog Belly now.
Good luck to the Eagles. And sorry about the Sixers.
It's going to be a big Eagles year. Big Eagles year.
You think so? Yeah, I do. He's as down as he can be right now.
It's rock bottom for him. Because the Sixers? Life.
The Sixers and then the Soul Patch also is just no good. Yeah.
Those are the only two things. You're doing all right.
Yeah. Yeah.
I thought I was going to say girlfriend left him because the Eagles and Sixers law. Well, he slept with his girlfriend's roommate.
Yeah. That's not true.
That's not true. Wait.
I felt we don't have to get into all this. He fell asleep in his girlfriend's bed.
I slept walk one night, bit of drinking the night before, and I woke up in my girlfriend's roommate's bed. Yeah, slept with her.
With the roommate. Yeah.
Asleep in the bed. She never woke up and realized that a person crawled into her bed she was also drinking yeah it happened yeah it happened it happened i mean if we're talking technicalities you you don't you're not a big baseball fan no i mean i got into the world series you know what happened with me my stepfather when i was uh young he moved he got it when my mom and i was like 11 and then he was super in like the phillies so i started watching and then because his explanation of it and his like you know enjoyment of it got me into we went to a couple games that was 93 oh and they went to the world series yeah what a personality that team had and then they did joe carter yeah and then i think i have this number right i think for 13 years after that game after that year they were like the worst team in baseball or one of them always they were barely made the playoffs if ever in those 13 i don't think i made the playoffs in 13 years and then um 2008 i was just already kind of out of it like right not caring about the sport but this last one i uh i watched i enjoy the World Series.
I mean, didn't enjoy how it worked out. Yeah, so that one game when you guys got no hits, was that a no-hitter? Yeah, I think someone threw a no-hitter again.
But there was, you know, what was fun was to come back and watch. I think the first one I watched the full game was them just rocking the home run.
Oh, that was the game before. That was sick.
Yeah, that was like a hell of a game. You had a lot of hits.
Maybe this is awesome. Shitload of awesome shitload of heads times you got no hits the next time i think at the end of that game i was like maybe i'll start watching the phillies next year this is a couple games i was like oh yeah baseball yeah like when it ain't going good it's so boring that's what it hit me i was like it's a very boring game if your team's terrible yeah and there's so many of the games so many but i did uh i say i 82 games a year, the Sixers I watched the 10 win season so much so that at one point my girlfriend goes I don't know if it's good for you like your physical health of watching this because you're coming home every day to escape into this game and by halftime they're down by 20 you're thinking about buying an ish Smith jersey because it's the the only player on the team doing anything yeah that's a that's a lot of losses that's a lot of bad days that you're forcing yourself to have yeah that's so many losses that's brutal so i do appreciate uh where they are now for sure i said it's why it doesn't like take the the steam out of me so much i'm like you know what they gave us so that's my adult approach to all of it i go hey man we're only supposed to get 82 games and we got you know there you go that's we got like 90 something yeah great group of kids out there yeah james harden trying together yeah and they do what they did these guys i love it well thanks so much thank you we appreciate it this episode of part of my take is presented by duracell few sports are more technically demanding than auto racing because of those standards williams racing only trusts one brand of disposable batteries duracell we were just down in miami maybe the new title town we're down there a couple weeks ago for the f1 race got to hang out with the williams crew and with duracell had a blast did the simulator did the reaction timing thing it was a lot of fun down there you might not think that you need the same batteries that help power Williams Racing until you do that's because Duracell is engineered for more they're a proud partner of Williams Racing and of part of my take you can learn more at Duracell.com I actually just went out to the store the other week.
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Okay.

Let's wrap up, Billy.

You want to leave?

Yeah.

Billy hasn't seen the succession finale.

Spoilers if you haven't seen it.

PFT.

I loved it. That rocked.
Oh, wait hank's out of here too hank has not seen it as well similar to the stream tonight hank's leaving early interesting uh i loved it i loved it i thought it was perfect i want to know your thoughts we haven't talked about it at all all. I know I do like the conspiracy theorists out there that think just because we have a Max ad deal now, we just started watching Succession.
We have watched all four seasons. It was one of my favorite shows.
I know the stupid debates of like, is it an all-time great show? I don't fucking know. I just know that I really liked the show and the characters were incredible and the acting was awesome.
And it was a great series finale. I thought they did a great job.
Yeah. In retrospect, they couldn't do anything funny with it.
Like there were a lot of theories out there that they were going to have Greg inherit the company. There were some other ones out there that were kind of like, they were fun like that, but it wouldn't have gone along with the theme of the show in general uh which is just like tragedy and the way that that kindle ended they left it kind of uh ambiguous when he was staring out at the water i thought that was a great last scene because he's looking out at the water um roman had just talked earlier about how the water is like all connected like through the channels channels and tributaries, like it's all connected across the world.
Roman's looking out at the water. Sorry, Kendall's looking out the water and thinking about probably the guy that he killed.
Yeah. That drew.
He didn't. That didn't happen.
That did not happen. Did not happen.
He's probably also thinking about the time where he almost died in a swimming pool underwater. he's thinking about jumping over the edge i actually read an interview with the actor that plays kindle and he said there was one take where he just walked up to the edge and tried to jump in and the guy that plays his bodyguard his only friend at the end call the actor actually had to come and like take him down off the ledge which is just kind of perfect because the dude that Jeremy Strong plays Kindle, kind of a weird guy.
He makes people like very uncomfortable on set because he's like almost kind of method with it. And he just went rogue on that one and decided to almost kill himself in character at the end.
But I liked how they wrapped everything up, giving Tom, who's just basically a big plastic sheet of paper, the title of CEO, where he's just going to be the pain sponge for Madison. That thing.
I thought that was a really good, I thought that was a good way to wrap it up. It's so perfect because everyone lost.
Like even Tom, who's the winner, he has to go be CEO for a guy who the night before was like, I want to fuck your wife. And I think she'd probably fuck me too.
That's his boss now. Like he has to go and be that guy's pain sponge.
Like, so he achieved a technically the win because he's a CEO, but there's no like happiness in Tom's life. He got what he wanted, but what he wanted was just this, like, people shaking his hand and respecting him and having this, like, empty power.

And then all the other, like, the siblings, that scene when they're in the boardroom fighting, it was essentially what Shiv said in the funeral episode.

When she's like, yeah, we were always outside, like, you know, messing around while, like, while like dad did business like that's what they were doing the business was happening and they were in this room side room fighting with each other like saying the meanest shit to each other shiv ends up being essentially like her mom she just like she's now the the wife of of the power she's like she doesn't win anything roman nailed it was like we're just all bullshit he goes back to his life of being insanely rich and then kendall like he was from episode one of the entire season was aspiring to have this role that he like just because he was the eldest boy like that was yeah there was no other like qualifications that he had. He didn't do anything well.
He was a tragic, tragic figure, but like the, the part where he's like, yeah, dad told me when I was seven that I was going to run the company. Like, that's what he lived with his entire life where he was like, this is my destiny.
I am going to be the CEO of, of waystar, uh, Royco just because of who I was born, like where I was born. I actually think the one guy that is going to have the happiest life after this is probably Roman because he's still got billions of dollars and he's just going to go off and be like a drunk, horny, weird asshole on his own, which is what makes him the happiest.
Yeah, he's doing that type of shit. He doesn't, he never actually wanted real power.
He just wanted to be able to be a dickhead to people. And he can still do that if you have billions of dollars.
So I think he's going to be happy after the fact. Tom is maybe the biggest cuck in the history of television.
It's crazy. So not, so for, for the foreseeable future, his boss is not giving him any power, going to make him act like he has all the power, but just cuck him behind the scenes in terms of business while also literally cucking him by fucking his wife and just being like, hey, here's how it's going to end up.
I'm going to be dominating you on and off the court for the rest of your life. But you get to smile and just pretend like it's fine.
And Tom is like a sick son of a bitch. So he's like, yeah, okay, yeah.
That's actually the best outcome that I can hope for in this instance. And yeah, I think Tom getting the company at the end is perfect because you know that he's not, you know he's not gonna like do anything substantial with it.
He's never been a guy that makes moves. He's a reactive person.
So he's just gonna get fucked over for the rest of his life but he's still gonna have greg around and him taking greg back at the end perfect was awesome because he needs his own punching bag to be he can only absorb so many body blows from his boss and from his wife he needs to have an even sadder more pathetic guy that has to that's forced to hang out with him and just get dominated so tom at least has like one outlet for any rage or aggression that he might still have he's like yeah you're disloyal you don't really bring anything to the table but you're very easy to make fun of and just bully so i'm gonna pay you to be my bitch he the slap fight in the bathroom was so perfect and yeah you're right Like Greg, his entire story arc was essentially just being like the biggest weasel out there. He was obviously the comedic relief in the show, but he was a weasel.
He was blackmailing. He was information trading.
And he essentially just made one move too many when he was trying to he was quadding up with the Roy siblings. And but still, ends up right where he started like being tom's bitch i i just thought like it was weird because i think like that show was so good because all those people are such terrible terrible awful people but you did find yourself rooting for them a little bit and it was nice at the end where no one won because they're all terrible, awful, terrible people.
So it was like, I know that sometimes people want like this winner or, you know, to feel satisfied. But like, that was why I liked it so much.
Because like, oh, yeah, these are horrendous people. And guess what? They're still all insanely rich beyond belief.
Like they all, I think, walked with someone did the math math they all like have like two billion dollars in the payout so they they all have everything but they have absolutely nothing and that's why i loved it like they all lost everything yet they're still richer than anyone could ever believe or anyone could ever possibly attain and i like even the shiv part people were pissed at shiv i i loved it just because she got fucked over by her siblings constantly she got fucked over by her dad she got fucked over by her husband at the end of season three finally she was like i'm like fuck this like i'm gonna fuck you over back like there was no no one ever showed her loyalty why would she ever do that back you know who actually up the best now that i think about it is connor connor connor spent a hundred million dollars on his presidential campaign and got like half a percent of the vote nationwide and now he is the ambassador to slovenia and his i guess his wife is just going to hang out in the united states and like be an actress or whatever yeah long distance long distance distance two week i think kendall said oh two week itch yeah yeah no but good for connor connor's living the dream man just going over slovenia hanging out probably drinking some grappa dude and not only that but connor that scene when they had the um virtual dinner with dad thing that they watched that scene was basically showing all of us that connor was the only one who had a relationship with his father that meant anything everyone all the other three kids were just transactional like they want to be like the the the next in line their dad promised it to him at various points played him like a fiddle trust issues all that shit like watching that scene he's like oh wait logan roy did have friends and connor was his friend like they had a relationship that wasn't just purely who's gonna who's getting your company when you die and i thought that was perfect too where it's like all three of these terrible people just fought tooth and nail uh backstabbing each other constantly to try to get essentially their father's love and become like the successor. When Connor was just an oddball, barely on screen, and he got the one thing that none of them would ever get.
And that was like friendship with their father. I did miss Brian Cox in the last season a little bit.
I understand why he had to go and how that was used to advance the plot.

But I missed having him on screen because he's such an awesome actor.

I've gone back.

I've started watching some old Brian Cox stuff.

Did you know that he was the first Hannibal Lecter?

He was Hannibal before Anthony Hopkins was in the movie, I think it was Manhunter.

Oh. And that was like, if you've ever seen Red Dragon dragon i think red dragon was a remake of of man was it my manhunter one of these i think it was manhunter and he's fucking awesome and i watched like 10 minutes of clips of him as hannibal lecter awesome actor incredible super troopers super troopers everything yeah um adaptation yeah you name it yeah it was it was a great show i loved it i i my test for all movies and shows is do i wake up the next day thinking about it and i did like i woke up this morning thinking about the finale thinking about this the whole show i will probably re-watch it i don't know where it is like you know the immediate rankings I fuck i have no fucking idea like i probably i like sopranos more does that i don't if you tell me you like succession more than sopranos cool that works i don't know it's tv like it's subjective yeah i also liked roman's shirt that he was wearing at the end which is like the little boy's shirt that he wore once he went to his mom's house.
Yeah.

And his mom gave him some clothes to put on.

Somebody looked it up, and that's like a $9 shirt that you can buy at Walmart.

That's perfect.

And everything else that they wear in that entire show is like,

even the black t-shirts that they wear are $500 designer black t-shirts.

The mom just like not liking the idea of eyes was so perfect what a fucking crazy crazy woman she was like the little blobs in your in your skull who wants those uh but yeah great series we're reminder we're gonna do blood sport on friday so we're gonna do a review of blood sport go. This wasn't an ad.
This was just us talking about succession.

Good show, everyone.

Hank, good show.

Good show.

Feel better?

No.

You don't?

No.

Feel worse?

Yeah.

PFT, we lost him?

His headphones cut out.

His headphones cut out.

PFT, just say a number.

69.

No, I didn't say numbers yet. That's a false start.
That's a false start. You just said say a number.
Yeah, I said say a number. I didn't say numbers.
Numbers. No, no, no.
You're a false start. You're going last.
Text PFT to say a number. I'll do 69.
Okay, 69. 18.
43. 43 for PFT.
Wait, wait. We got to go to the board for that.
You said say a number. I said say a number.
I didn't say numbers. I thought you said numbers.
No, I said say a number. You know I said say a number because you said say a number.
I think if 69 hits today, we really need to go to the rules. Okay.
Well, Hank has it, so hopefully, Hank, I'm rooting for you. No.
I'll go 17.

Billy?

I'm going to go with the only other number I've won with, 21.

Okay.

Actually, I shouldn't let this happen.

Memes. That was total.

Memes, have you ever gotten this?

Nope.

59.

You've never gotten this?

Never gotten it.

Okay.

20.

What did PFTC?

43?

43.

I shouldn't be letting this happen.

That's going right now. It's already going.
It's already going. Thank God it's not 69.
It's nine. I really wish that would have been 69.
If it was 69. I had an all-time fucking freakout.
I'm going to be honest. I'd destroy this whole studio.
He would have freaked out. I destroy this whole studio.
I would have freaked out.

I would probably destroyed the ball machine.

Yeah.

Okay.

Great show.

Reminder Friday.

Friday.

We're back Friday.

We're back.

PFT actually will be back in studio with us.

So Friday we're back and we'll see that.

Love you guys. You got an animal fact I got distracted he got distracted beezlebots were a gigantic frog he's so mad at me about 69 it was in my head because there was a possibility PFT when I said out, I said, say a number.
Is that the same as saying numbers? You said, say a number to the whole crew? I just said, say a number to you specifically. And then Billy said 69, that's offside.
Well, I didn't hear him coming in. Coming in, I just heard, say a number.
Say a number. I thought you were telling me to say a number.
Well, it's no harm yeah now it was i always had billy just go i was i was literally i didn't have my fact ready because i was going through hypothetical rage scenarios in my head it was like i like got i got like like dimensionally angry let's do one more number there's another let's do one more There's another like time space where it did hit 69. Yeah, you're right.

And I felt the rage of that guy in this dimension okay let's do one more number okay you want to do one more number pft sure numbers 69 i got it oh pft's lag so I think we're going to give it a PFT. No because he's no no we're not flipping a coin yeah no i said it immediately when we can't it was instantaneous no no if pft call heads or tails no why does he get to pick it it's a heads no no show me show me the coin no you could have flipped it PFT got 69 21

2020 all over again

What do you got?

Billy, what's your number?

21

45

Big T man

17

Memes, you still haven't gotten this?

Still haven't gotten it Since the last time Still haven't gotten it 72 Oh my god Damn We could have gotten such aggro Billy Want to do one more, Billy?

Yeah, you know what?

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

See you guys on Friday. I'll lead it in.

See you guys on Friday.

See you guys on me Take me on Take me on Take me on You're not too long Some need let you say I'm always in it But I'm feeling some little way It's harder than the box I came to say to me. It's better to be safe than something.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take me. Take on me.
I'll be gone. The day I'll take on.
Things that you say and give it a lot more. Just to play my world and freeze away.
You all think I'll talk to you. Take on me Take on me I'll be gone

Let's go

Let's go We'll see you next time.