Paul Bissonnette, Sixers Whomp The Celtics, Are The Lakers Going To Win The Title? And Great Listener FAQ's

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Restrictions apply. USA! On today's part in my take, we have our good friend Paul Bissonette on the show talking some playoff hockey, talking his basically last month being in a hotel room working crazy hours at TNT.
Some funny stories from that. We are going to talk Sixers celtics game five which was somewhat shocking and a sixers blowout we're going to talk lakers warriors uh nhl playoffs hot seat cool throne and we have some great faqs some big time questions from the listeners it's all brought to you by ourselves at the barstool sportsbook today's part of my take is brought to you by the barstool sportsbook please uh download the barstool sportsbook right now and you get a thousand dollar bonus for new players if your first bet loses get up to a thousand dollars in bonus cash so download and create an account today use code take to unlock your thousand dollar bonus be sure to use code take to unlock your thousand dollar bonus i'm looking at the barstool sportsbook right now oh they don't have futures up because the games are in action before tonight the celtics were plus 175 to win the nba title um yeah the chip uh right now i'm looking i'll tell you right now Game of the month, Warriors minus seven on Wednesday night.

Warriors minus seven on wednesday night warriors minus seven game of the month uh we actually do have a line for thursday night whose line is it anyway guess celtics sixers just opened pick them and i'll say Celtics minus two. Sixers minus six okay uh i'm gonna say i'm gonna say celtics minus one it's you guys split the difference celtics minus one and a half max and pft won that uh so go download the barstool sportsbook right now use code take thousand dollar bonus for new players terms apply must be 21 plus gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER okay let's go now in the streets there is violence and then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't lay all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Wednesday, May 10th.
Wait, hold on. We got to restart.
Hey, you dropped your pacifier right there. It's on the floor.
Oh, shit. What are you talking about? You dropped your pacifier.
He called you a baby. Hey, last time.
Pick up your pacifier so you can suck on it with your binky. Last time I checked, you had to win four games to win a series.
Oh, he's doing positive, Hank, now. So the Celtics, or the Sixers, kicked the shit out of the Celtics in Boston.
Game five. Wasn't really ever in doubt.
Probably the best the Sixers have looked this playoffs probably the worst the Celtics

have looked this playoffs and we now have a 3-2 Philly lead going back to Philadelphia for game six and PFT uh I've never seen someone more dejected more down more baby than Hank he didn't speak for the entire second half.

He is in a bad, bad

spot. I

actually have seen somebody more down and dejected than Hank, and that's Hank the last time that they lost. Hank just, this is what he does.
He goes into his shell. He gets in turtle mode, and he pretends.
It's funny because Hank and Max are kind of the same guy when it comes to rooting for their respective teams. They both put on this shell of uber confidence going into games.
But it's just to mask deep down a massive, massive fear of losing. And so once that gets a little bit punctured, Hank just kind of retreats into his shell and just pretends that he didn't say any of the things that he said before the game started.
And so now now he's trying to regroup and try to figure out how he could spend this i think he's more comfortable actually coming off a loss going into the next game because he can't even pretend that they're going to stop the shit out of like hank's backs against the wall right now yeah billy stop playing with the ball is what max is telling you it's in the picking up on the mic uh hank yes you just listen to what pft said i don't even know if you're listening to anything because you're zoned out and you're not even i'm right here i'm focused i'm locked in do you think that you're in a better spot coming off a loss mentally that you can like you can scratch and claw your way back yeah i mean backs against the wall this team is tough this team has been there before just got to win and then you got a home court advantage for game seven. I love where we're at.
None of what he's saying is what he believes. He was so doom and gloom.
Again, didn't speak for the entirety of the fourth quarter. I was waiting for them to get it close.
They did not get it close. They didn't get it close.
All right, so let's talk about the actual game. Then I want to hear from Max because Max does deserve a little shine here.
No, he doesn't. Okay, Max, why don't you get your shine after Hank just did that?

No, no, no.

Hank's right.

It's a four-game series.

What?

Seven-game series.

You need to win four games to win a series.

But this one felt good.

Like, I'm going to go to sleep tonight happy.

Like, I'm not celebrate, but, you know, you got to enjoy victories.

No.

Enjoy victories.

Wake up tomorrow morning. We're on to game six.
We need to close out a series. Okay.
But tonight was really great. Yeah.
I mean, come on. Just, you know, let it loose.
I mean, everybody showed up today. Everybody showed up today.
Tyrese Maxey was phenomenal. Joel Embiid has been an absolute beast ever since you told me that he wasn't Giannis.
yeah you're right egg on my face like harden didn't he he did his job tonight he didn't need to go for 45 and that's fine that's when this team is at their best when everyone is showing up tobias harris also played great i mean it was a really really really nice game to watch after almost having a heart attack in the last one it was nice you know it was fun we were with the fellas we were playing lottery ball everyone was hanging out jake was eating a bunch of popcorn sixers were dominating hank was crying it was a great night yeah yeah no no max i'm curious from your point of view um how much do you think hank's wearing of the insult shirt going into the game played a factor did that give you any more motivation i don't give a fuck about that shirt hey i mean hey look at look at hank's face like if you're watching you should watch on the youtube right now yeah because hank's face is so uh he's it is i know you philly sickos are are waiting to look at this face and boy and like in person it is it's so much it's so nice to see hey Hank, I got a question for you as an ambassador for the Celtics fans.

What do you think about your fans booing the Celtics?

What was that in the third quarter?

Booing the home team?

You got to use some, you know, you got to get under their skin,

get the boys riled up.

They did go on a mini sort of tiny run after that.

So I had no problem with it. So I have a couple questions for Hank.
First question, and I don't think this series is over because, you know, Moses could show up on Thursday night and beat the Sixers, and then it's just everything that happened tonight is washed away. So Max, even though he doesn't really mean it, because I think he's gonna go to bed like jerking off as he falls asleep in his uh girlfriend's uh roommate's bed uh i i i like he's so happy he's like it's over i nothing is ever over i did i said the opposite i know what you're feeling just like no no no and we know he's dead inside you're doing cartwheels inside little max no I mean it is yeah there are two more games left there are two more games left so let's say they're gonna lose game six they could every everything's on the table right now let's say the Celtics best before right now so I pointed this out to Hank at halftime because a lot of the talk going into this series is like this is the finale of sorts of the process james harden you don't know what he's going to do next year like if the sixers can't get to at least the finals it's going to be big time questions going on in philly and what this team is underrated it's kind of the same for the celtics because jalen brown is looming out there and there's been talk about him leaving and find out if he's first team mba or he's got to be third team nba on wednesday to get the supermax the celtics hank as it stands right this second again they could win the series whatever but let's say they lose in six it feels like a team that they don't like each other.
The way they play is like something's off. And it's not they are so talented.
And then you watch that and you're like, what is that? Yeah, you know, I think they just missed some shots. They had a lot of good looks.
Give us the honest. Free throws are free.
Give us honest. No, what is it, Big Cat? You're yelling at me all stream.
You're not positive. Well, yeah, you weren't talking.
You weren't talking. And now I'm talking.
I'm trying to be positive. Give us the honest opinion.
Listen, we got two games left. Make your free throws.
If they make their free throws, it's a completely different game. They had a lot of open shots in the first half that they just missed.
Make or miss league. Now give us the other side.
How bad it is if they lose this series. Come on, Hank.
Give me. Give me.
I know spin it positive i understand i appreciate you trying to be positive but just give me some of like the real what's going through your head i'm thinking about a soul patch in the summer uh in chicago i'm thinking about and i shouldn't be thinking about this i really should just be saying i'm focused on game six still got two games left and i hate that this was even a thought that crept into my mind before the game. But watching the Lakers game last night and them going up 3-1 while the Celtics easily could have been up 3-1.
They could have won the series 4-0. The first games 1 and 4 were very winnable.
And so the fact that the Lakers are up 3-1 in winnable games that they could have lost and the Celtics were tied going into a crucial Game 5 didn't have me feeling good, and now I feel even worse. What do you think about my comment that maybe they don't like each other? Because it does feel it's weird seeing a team like that, that good in a Game 5 at home.
It's just unfortunate when you had the same team last year and a coach who in these moments really brought them together and he fired them up and kind of yelled at them when they needed to be yelled at. It just seems like that's not happening this year.
Having two first-year coaches in a row sucks. I will back Hank on one point.
I do think Emei Udoka would...

This team would be playing different.

Because it does feel like their defensive ability and intensity is different.

And Emei Udoka got the most out of that.

But man, were they bad.

They were so bad, PFT.

Al Horford had zero points.

0 for 7 from 3.

But, you know, again, the free throws, a couple of those shots fall. Completely different game.
Very winnable. We lost PFT.
Ah, damn. Okay, Hank actually just left the room because he had to take a poop.
And we were waiting for PFT to rejoin. So why don't we just have a talk without him here? That was a shockingly bad performance from the Celtics tonight, PFT.
It wasling and uh I don't know I feel like this is going to swing back though I think it's going to be Sixers next and then game seven anything can happen I actually I had a question for you big cat and Max um don't listen to this because this is about you and Hank but objectively speaking who do you think would be funnier with a soul patch hank or max because i keep going back and forth i think max would be funny because he'd give off a vibe that's like uh the the logo of a pizza joint slash tire replacement service yeah that would be very funny and his like round cherubic face with the soul patch be very very funny and then hank would give off more of like a meth dealer guy yeah like with a like with a big spoiler on the back of his honda civic the guy that you definitely don't want picking up your daughter on a date that's the vibe i would get from hank with a soul patch but i i think all things being equal i think max would be funnier just because he's he's definitely a beard guy hank's beard is just his face. I think Max, I think big hairy guy.
Yeah, I mean, he's fat. I didn't say that.
Yeah, but that's okay. It would be so many chins.
So Max would be funnier. It would hurt Hank far more.
Far, far more. Yeah, and that's funny, though.
Yeah, that's funny. Right, exactly.
So in terms of like max can bounce back from it i don't think hank hank might not be able to there was a moment on the stream where hank was lashing out at me and calling me fat and i was like dude you don't think i've seen all the pictures of me being fat it's just like it completely rolls off my back at this point you in a soul patch is a fresh new pot of memes that you won't be able to escape and he like settled in his brain he was like oh god you know what he's got to do he's got to go jalen brown just wear a face mask yeah yeah he uh he he was it was an all-time i and i i actually do agree with you i like i don't think by any means this series is over because I still think the Celtics have the talent to win game six and then it's, you know, all bets are off for game seven. Hank's performance tonight was the biggest baby performance I've ever seen.
He did not talk for the entire second half. It was shocking.
He just, he turtled. Max actually got, like, mad at us in a moment.
Go ahead, Max. Yeah, I mean, game three was a joke.
So there was a moment during the stream where Max got mad at me specifically because I was rooting for the Celtics to get closer. And then I was like, Max, I'm literally just rooting for the over because I knew that like if the lead stayed at like 20, that they would just not play the last five minutes.
And then it dawned on him. He's like, all right and then he got mad at jake for being positive for hank and i was like well i actually texted jake in the middle of the third quarter to be overly overly like jake i was like be the most jake you've ever been and tell hank like every dunk like yeah they cut it to 12 so i was throwing everything at him um but yeah it was, he just turtled.
He completely turtled. I do think like deep down, he knows that this could be, like the Souths could have some big questions going forward.
And it does feel like they might've made a mistake with the coach and you could squander what's a wide open playoffs. Again, Thursday could be different, but that was it.
That was, that's a a bad bad loss yeah it's it's tough and Hank Hank has gotten less mature as this show has gone on he's his maturity is aging in reverse yeah he's like a like Benjamin Button except of his ego it's been it's been a sight to see uh I I like you're right you're right the Celtics if they end up losing the series there are some tough questions some things that they have to address and it does feel like a wasted year and there's no worse feeling in sports than a wasted year where you know that you've got what it takes and you could win a championship and you just burn out in spectacular fashion that's that's a pretty bad feeling yeah I hate that feeling because I mean Hank has been fortunate enough to see how many parades, how many does that little asshole have on the sign, like 14 parades since he's been alive. He's been fortunate to see a lot of success, but I do think that having a team, and he cares more about the Celtics than he does any other team, having a team that could and should win the championship and then just losing it to Max's 76ers, that will be one that sticks with him for a while hank is back we we had a little conversation while you were gone nothing really about you more about the game we'll talk some x's and o's on the game i tell when you make this little baby face oh no we weren't talking about you we were talking about the game i actually well i did say you were the biggest baby ever, but I said that to your face.

How am I?

Big Cat, you haven't been in a team that's even closer to the playoff.

So you don't know what it's like.

I don't need to listen to PFT.

I know what he's going to say.

That's it.

I finally got it out of him.

This is what I want.

I want you lashing out.

I just don't like what the fuck would you have done if you were watching that game?

I would have gotten mad.

I would have tried to change up the momentum. I would have used better body language.
How? Just fucking fire him up. I tried.
He did try. He did try because there's a rumor on the street that we did the stream from in here tonight because Hank thought it would change the juju and it actually reversed it.
Yeah, it's a fact. I tried.
I've had a bad experience in the gambling game.

Put your headphones on Hank.

He's icing out PMT right now.

No, Hank's not being a baby at all.

Hank, you're actually handling this.

Do you want me to run a class in this journey?

No, it's fine, Jake.

I know what he did.

It's fine.

He's completely icing out PMT.

That's fine. That's fine.
Hank can't hang with it. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen, Hank.
I will say this for you, Hank. Hank's the baby back bitch.
Oh, that was mean. Do you want to borrow your headphones? No.
It's almost over. Being as big of a baby as you were tonight is a play.
Like, you care a lot.

I know you care a lot about the Celtics.

They never were close.

I was literally waiting.

Like, all right, they're going to get it.

They're going to get it back.

They're going to get it back.

They're going to get it back.

I don't think they didn't probably didn't lead the game,

maybe in the first three or four minutes.

And 13-10 was the last time.

Their 10-10 was the last time it was tied.

They started to score in the fourth quarter,

and they gave up possession.

They gave up scores every single time on defense.

They didn't get any stops.

Please stop banging on the table.

It's really bad for the audio.

He doesn't have the headphones on.

I know.

I know.

That's why I wanted to tell him.

But every time he bangs on the table,

it's really bad for the audio.

Oh, Max, is this what you wanted?

You feel good?

No, that little lash out did make me feel good. That's all I wanted.
I wanted one little lash out. He's doing a silent boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.
He's having me saying the words. He is.
I will say egg on my face because Joel Embiid has been fantastic and i did say joe umbeat's not yannis

and we did say that to max the game three was a must win they could maybe win this series

after losing game three still yet to be decided but um he max might might have one on all of us

hey big cat permission to do this real quick yeah i think i think we should do uh another

lottery ball to try to cheer hank up okay numbers 17 oh 16 18 that's a false start

Thank you. I think we should do another lottery ball to try to cheer Hank up.

Okay, numbers.

17.

16, 9, 18.

That's a false start.

That is technically a false start.

Oh, no, Hank.

I said numbers.

You couldn't hear it because you don't have your headphones on.

How did I know it was a false start?

How did you know it was a false start?

Because Big Head didn't say numbers. Numbers.

17.

17.

18.

16.

He beat us. 1.
6. 20.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, does this count? Yeah, it counts.
This counts. Also, self-report violation.
I guess me and Billy technically had false starts, too. Okay.
76. All right, so, Billy, you had a false...
No, I said numbers on that one. I took it upon myself.
I requested permission to say numbers so that Hank couldn't hear.

Yeah, he called.

All right.

Yeah, that counts.

Anyone can say numbers?

No, no.

We'll do it again.

No, it's good to know.

No, no, no.

A lot of self-reported.

A lot of self-reported.

It's chaos.

It's chaos.

We will do another lottery ball before hot seat cool throw.

Okay?

No, this is business.

Yeah, we will.

We will.

We will.

For Hank. What? We will.
Hank's so rattled he doesn't even want another chance to win. It would be crazy if Hank wanted.
We will do another lottery ball. You know what? You know what? Bad idea.
Bad idea on my part. I no longer think we should do another lottery ball.
Okay. Alright.
I don't want to do another one. Alright.
Hank 17 18 20 18 okay uh Hank Jake got 18 16 are your headphones on one imagine if they lose on Thursdays it'd be like 10 times worse uh I'll do six PST what'd you guess 16 16. Is this official? Yeah, this is official.
Come on, Hank. Come on, Hank.
Come on, Hank. Oh, 84.
Still a loser. Still a loser.
Big Cat was definitely rooting for you there. I was.
I was rooting for you. That might have been the first time.
That might have been the first time he was actually rooting for you. Because that would have been an all-time part of my take moment.
Just put your headphones back on. He won't do it.
This is great. All right.
Yeah, Joel Embiid's been fantastic. Tyrese Maxey was incredible as well.
And it remains true that P.J. Tucker, like, like if you look at the box score PJ Tucker never looks like he does much but if you watch the game it's crazy how hard he crashes the glass and how he's like in every single play yeah and I also think that Celtics defenders they're always thinking about him right even when he's when he's not setting a screen they're all in the back of their head they're like what if pj's beside me right now and that does that does affect you it's it's weird that like you can't you can't leave he can hit the corner three so you can't leave him fully alone for that but you also can't leave him alone because if you lose him in rotation like he will go crash the boards and get a rebound yeah yeah and uh joel and beat had a couple of real nice defensive plays i wasn't able to watch the game with you guys unfortunately tonight but every time he does something cool on defense i just think to myself how loud is max screaming get that shit out of here so loud so he was like this guy's incredible did you see it like the way he hopped and then he did it he was yeah he was very excited about that um okay let's talk some other games before we do that.
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Duracell wonderful sponsor this is going to be some big time stuff from us and Duracell learn more Duracell.com Duracell.com learn more right now the best batteries in the world the official batteries a part of my take learn more at Duracell.com okay I think the Lakers might win the NBA title PFT.

I mean, it's tough to stop Lonnie Walker.

Lonnie Walker is a fucking monster what a fourth quarter by him 15 points 15 points in the fourth quarter it was these games are tough to stay up for and then you have a lonnie walker fourth quarter and like as much as i don't like lebron lonnie walker's story is an amazing story. And like, you have to root for a guy like that who got, he was, you know, starter at the beginning of the season, got injured, fell out of the full rotation and then has a moment like that.
Like could not miss it became a Steph Curry verse Lonnie Walker showdown in the fourth quarter. And it feels like the Lakers with Anthony Davis, if he's playing at at his best lebron doesn't have to be the best player and then they have like a bunch of really good role players that can all step up in big moments they've had austin reeves lonnie walker rui hachimura like d'angelo russell it they just they're just tough and i i'm officially on scared that LeBron might win another title watch yeah so it's tough to stop all those guys and Kobe at the same time because I don't know if you saw RG3's tweet recapping the entire ordeal oh no but RG3 said Lonnie Walker's performance in the fourth quarter was out of this world the last Lakers player to score 15 or more points off the bench in the fourth quarter of a playoff game was kobe bryant 26 years ago in 1997 lani is 24 years old we know it was you bean we miss you wow so and then and then if that wasn't evidence enough the fact that uh it was lani's 24 years old same number as kobe um he also did uh 1997 he broke that down one plus nine plus nine plus seven equals 26 two plus six equals eight which is Kobe's other number two minus six equals negative four which is Lonnie Walker the fourth's number that doesn't make sense RG3 and then 24 Kobe's number and Lonnie Walker's age at the same time so i think we can all agree that kobe bryant actually won that game for the lakers not lonnie walker yeah he was inside of lonnie walker's body and he that was that was kobe bryant out there yeah but uh it was fun to watch lonnie walker do that at fourth like it seems like the lakers do have guys that just come out of nowhere and all the warriors need just maybe jordan pool could not suck occasionally so he sucks and uh it sucks for him can you i'm having major stomach issues hank's having major stomach issues go ahead we when you come back will you promise to put on your headphones again actually he has not replied to me he didn't big cat well he's got well hank's going i would i would like max to take that spot in Hank's spot? No, he's shaking his head.
He's got to work the soundboard. He wants to work the soundboard.
So he's shaking him off, too. I'm getting shakeoffs everywhere.
So PFT, Jordan Poole sucks, and it sucks for Jordan Poole to suck. Follow me along here.
It sucks for Jordan Poole to suck because every time he sucks, people just bring up the fact that Draymond Green knocked him out. They're like, oh, this probably wasn't good for team chemistry.
So it's like one thing to suck, but then also to suck so bad that everyone's like, hey, remember that time you got knocked out? That's extra suck. least steve kerr bounced back after michael jordan punched him in the face yeah and people are like yes we respect steve kerr now because he fought back from getting emasculated by his own teammate but yeah jordan pool he just all he has to do is just not suck yeah if jordan pool can figure out a way to not suck then the warriors should win the series but, he sucks.
I mean, last year in their, like, I think the first round and also in the title against the Celtics like that, he was, remember he'd have those spurts where he'd just be on fire? And that's what the Warriors are badly missing. I mean, they're playing Moses Moody and Gary Payton Jr.
Like Jordan Poole can't even get on the court. And it's, it's crazy to watch.
And as good as Steph was, he has triple double, I think scoring like 37 points. We do have to like say that that end sequence when he missed two shots in a row and then Draymond, like Draymond was concussed.
He actually was concussed. He hit his head so fucking hard in the second quarter.
But Draymond just driving the lane and then just throwing it to no one. And then you get a jump ball, and Steph grabs the ball and throws it out of bounds with two seconds left.
We would make fun of anyone else for doing that, so we have to say that Steph Curry, that was pretty bad late-game execution by the Warriors where they felt like they had that game, and they completely blew it. He had a timeout too, right? Yeah, they had a timeout.
The Warriors had a timeout. Steph Curry got the ball, fell down on the ground.
They won the jump ball, which was crazy. Or at least Steph grabbed the jump ball after Anthony Davis tipped it.
So they had the ball. They had an opportunity to score.
And then he just forgot the situation, didn't call a timeout.

Draymond had a couple of those possessions where he gets a head of steam going down the court, and you can tell that he's out of control

by the time he hits half court,

and that he's just going to drive it directly at the baseline.

Now, this looked like it was a setup play at the end of the game

where they were trying to get the ball to Draymond,

who was then supposed to do something besides whatever the fuck he did with it.

I can't imagine that was the design play that they were trying to run but he sometimes gets the ball going at the baseline and just you know he's not going to stop he's going to keep running full steam ahead you know what it is i think he has a little bit of ben simmons not wanting to go to the foul line in him where late in the game he's like he'll drive and you know he's not shooting because he doesn't want to get fouled and go to the line. So he kind of runs out of options because the defense knows that.
And they can, you know, like they're able to close all the passing lanes in those moments being like, he's probably not going to shoot because he doesn't want to get fouled. He doesn't want to go to the line.
And it makes it that much harder for the Warriors to execute late. he ends up playing chicken with the baseline right and the baseline usually wins that matchup yeah so uh i do expect the warriors to win game uh five yeah five game five on wednesday night i think i actually might make it my game of the month but i just don't know like they are at the point now where they need steph to do a triple double and they need clay.
They need like clay to, to somehow be old clay where he hits, you know, five threes in a quarter or something like that to have a fighting chance in this series, because it doesn't feel like they're getting much from anyone else. I saw an insult stat that I think ESPN threw out there yesterday about Steph Curry.
He's 0 for 12 on go-ahead shots with 45 seconds or less left in the fourth quarter and overtime. Damn.
So he's never hit a shot like that. And that does go back to the Kevin Love, Anthony Davis, big man putting the clamps on you on the outside.
I suspect that they chose that stat because he probably has several go-ahead shots with like 46 and 47 seconds left in the fourth quarter. Right.
But still, he's never been a buzzer beater guy for whatever reason. But again, Steph Curry is not the reason why they're losing these games.
Yeah. No, definitely not.
Hank, we're talking about the Lakers. You want to chime in? I don't think LeBron's even the fourth best player on that team.

I've talked about it on this show before,

but as much as I love watching my teams,

I love rooting against LeBron even more,

and I've had some bad experiences doing that,

and last night, it just is bad.

Like, because I hate the Warriors,

and I hate how the Celtics were in close games versus the warriors in the finals and couldn't close them out. And I'm watching this game last night and it's like, this is the warriors.
Like they're going to win. And then they miss all the shots they're making against Celtics.
Dream on green is making, I mean, that was the worst end of possession I've ever seen. And I don't think they're going to beat the Nuggets, though.
Okay. Okay.
So you're holding on to the Nuggets. If it's the Suns, who knows? Yeah.
Okay. Oh, PFT took off his headphones.
Sorry, I took my headphones off. I didn't hear any of that.
I have to just assume Hank was going, oh, my ego is so tied into Boston sports success

that when they crumbled in front of my face,

I don't know what else to do.

Is that what you said?

Was I close?

Sure.

I'm enjoying this show very much.

Very, very much.

Okay.

Nick's heat.

Julius Randle is so bad.

He really is.

He's so bad. There were so many times where he was like either...
He'd be like fadeaway three or just like lackadaisical pass. And then after the game, he said maybe the Heat just want it more.
Which I don't think that's going to go over well in the New York crowd. Probably not.
I can't figure out what julius randall does well he's the kind of player that when he plays poorly you're like oh yeah that makes sense he doesn't look like he's very good at basketball uh but then when he goes off which he does from time to time you're like how the fuck did that happen but he he goes off enough to the point where it's confusing but when i watch him play and he's not playing well it's like well yeah no shit i don't think that he's very good he just he's a really streaky player i guess but um he's injured he's a little injured which you got to give him i mean who knows how injured but yeah you're right he's streaky and i would say he has a nice spin move when it's working and he can i when he wants to to guard he can guard multiple positions um but he like talk about bad body language like i think tibbs just left him out there to foul out like he he had his fifth foul with it was like felt like nine minutes left he's like nah i just just fucking end this get go foul out like we'll move on put an obi top in yeah that was his punishment is making him play more yeah that's what tibbs is going for there actually mike greenberg had an interesting take he said that uh the heat were beating the knicks because miami's too hot and that that only affects the knicks for some reason they go down there and it's it's hot and i actually kind of understand what he's saying because we were just down miami and we know how Miami is where it does kind of suck to be outside.

But Greeny was saying that that's the reason why the Knicks are losing the series, just because of the sun.

Sun is too hot in Miami.

And the heat, I mean, they're just good, Jake.

Yeah, they're solid.

And Jimmy didn't even go off by Jimmy's standards.

But I completely. Yeah, hit me.
Stay tuned. Store.
Barstool sports.com. Little teaser for later in the show.
But yeah, I mean, I do agree with Julius Randall. The Heat did not win that game.
The Knicks lost it. Yeah.
And they were awful down the stretch. Yeah.
They're not. Turns out they're probably not a very good team and they beat a worse Cavs team.
But the series over back to the garden tonight see what happens yeah i guess also jalen brunson is hurt too yeah we should mention that he's not playing at 100 so is tyler hero yeah so is tyler hero and so is jimmy butler and i mean what what was it it was something like seven offensive rebounds in the fourth quarter for the heat it was just yeah they had a they had a bunch. They just want.
They did want it more like Julia. I guess Julius Randle should get credit.
Yeah, no, he was not wrong. You just never.
You just never hear a player say that. Hank is physically in pain right now.
My stomach is shambles. I know how you're feeling.
This is Lamar Jackson. It's the worst.
This is you. It's just the Celtics have just ruined you.

I'm sorry for making fun of you, Hank.

I'm not.

No, I'm not.

All right.

You didn't fall for that.

Max is ready to jump on that and be like, stop that.

I was just also going to apologize for gloating.

There you go.

That was nice.

Yeah, Hank, I'd like to apologize, too.

Thanks.

I was going to call you Marcus. I was going to call you Marcus Sharp, but I didn't.
The fact that I thought about it, I'd like to apologize. Nailed it.
He doesn't have his headphones in. Don't let your brain to science.
All right. So Thursday night, we are going to.
Oh, you're really. He's really lashing out now.
Go shit somewhere,op boy. All right.
So Thursday night, we will stay up for all the games. We've been up a lot.
We're going to do a little choose your own adventure for Nuggets sons. The Nuggets right now.
It's in the second quarter. They're up eight.
PFT, you want to start? What means? Did he fart on the way out? Did he crop test? I think so. Oh, no.
What a piece of shit. He's the worst.
I think the Nuggets are going to win by five. Okay.
I think they're going to win by 12. I think it's going to get ugly late.
I don't think Devin Booker can keep up the pace that he's been on. So it's going to be gross.
Booker might even get in foul trouble. The Suns have no bench.
and they're fucked when he's out. So I like nuggets by 12.
Boom. Okay.
I also think Michael Porter is going to go off for 30. He's got 14 right now.
He's got 14 right now, so it's a little bit of cheating. 30.
But, yeah, we will be potting late on Thursday night for any games that could decide a series.

Anything else, Piazza?

We talk all hockey with Biz, so we could leave that.

Should we do one more lottery ball now that Hank has left?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Hank, you ever gotten this?

Oh, he's not here.

He's pooping his brains out. All right.
Number 17. Oh, Max got 17.
18. Is this official? Yeah, this is official.
Wow. Yeah.
Number two for Hank. Okay.
I'll do six because that's probably what he would have guessed if he didn't get it. 17.
I'll go 99. This is official.
So count this as Hank's not getting this. I hope 17 pops up.
Here, let me call him real quick and see if he wants to do a number. Because that would actually be funnier if he got it when he wasn't even here.
This has been a great show. Hey, what number do you want? 17 already got taken are you there hank hank he's gonna put the phone up to 40 40 okay good guess all right you want to stay on the line for it sure all right i'm actually rooting for him to get this.
54. Damn, Hank.
54. That's tough.
Damn. All right.
How many minutes a day do you think Hank spends actually just thinking about numbers? Every day. Every day.
All right. Oh, shout out Alex Caruso.
Yeah. First team all defense, NBA.
First. How should I say this? He's the first Italian American to win that award in like 40 years.
Kobe Bryant. Yeah.
yeah and pervert um okay we have a great rest of the show pft's back in studio for hot seat cool thrown for biz and we got some big time faqs from the listeners so let's kick it back to ourselves okay before we do hot seat cool thrown quick word from our friends at the farmer's dog whether you have a few weeks old puppy or a senior who's seen multiple decades

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Hot seat, cool thrown. Henry.
My hot seat is Will Levis, unfortunately. Oh, no.
It's not really, he's not on the hot seat, but it's more just insult to injury post draft. There's been a lot of articles and reports.
People have talked to owners, and it's basically come out. The Colts said they would have taken him if Richardson wasn't available.
The Titans said they would have taken him at 11 if Skaronsky wasn't there. The Ravens probably would have taken him at 22 if they hadn't had Lamar.
And the Panthers asked, he said, you thought highly of all three QBs? And he said, no, we thought highly of all four qbs i kind of like that though if you're an nfl team and you can always just throw out there like we wanted to take this guy on draft night nobody will remember that if he ends up stinking in like three years but in the chance that he's good you can always point back and be like we actually had him we were going to take him at number 11 that's where it just went different yeah that's what a lot of people did with lamar even though lamar fell like real far like sean payton every couple months would be like you know i i stood on the table for lamar i mean we had bruce arians on the couch and he was like i want patrick mahomes we're gonna get patrick right yeah just get it out right away that way everyone can look back and when they do the google you know search they're like oh yeah they actually said they wanted him right after the draft yeah and for And for me, it's real because every quarterback, I just want a new quarterback every year because it's fun.

It's like a shiny new toy.

Yeah, exactly.

So every year I'm like, I wanted that guy.

Like I won Will Levis and Hindenhooker this year.

Last year, I think I also said I won Malik Willis, but nobody really remembers that.

So we're just going to pretend that never existed.

Never, never, never said that.

Never said that.

Never happened.

But it's fun.

It's fun to want a quarterback and to say that you want a quarterback and with you know having no real consequences when you don't get that yes so i actually for will levis it kind of sucks to hear this but also kind of you know maybe softens it a little bit to be like hey they weren't just passing on me because i put mayo in my coffee yeah but the money side of it puts a little fire in your belly, I would say. And you can also, I mean, we're spin zone masters on this show.
He's a second round pick now. He will get to his free agency year faster.
He could get paid more money if he has a really good long career. Jalen Hurts just got paid big, big bucks.
So that, you know, spin it that way. No state income tax either.
Yeah. Then my cool throne, our darling Jake, Barstool Sports, broadcasting future.
Jake and the foreplay guys are going to be broadcasting a corn fairy tour in June. Hell yeah.
Congrats, Jake. July 27th, the 30th.
Very excited. Just outside of Chicago.
I think you guys might be involved too.. I'm sure Hank will be.
Yeah, definitely. Hank will be the qualifying setup for the corn fairy.
I've got to dive into that. Are you thinking that you can make the corn fairy tour, Hank? You never know.
How sick would that be? Well, based on my limited experience playing PGA Tour 2K, it's not easy. Yeah.
You're going to at least test out the course. Oh, yeah on testing it out too Jake do you have your silent whisper, gymnast whisper ready yeah I mean we did the mini golf broadcast in February maybe that was good practice but I can't get excited for this unless there's a hole in one if there's a hole in one you should be able to go crazy and the tournament is presented by Old National Bank which I just thought was cool that's a hole in one.
You should be able to go crazy. Yeah.
And the tournament is presented by Old National Bank, which I just thought was cool. Yeah.
That's a good. That's a strong name.
It's a strong name for a bank. Like the Old National.
That was George Washington's bank. That bank will never go broke.
Yep. They would punch SBF in the face if you walked in the door.
Yes. Bill, you want to say something? Get your apes out of here.
What's the Corn Fairy Tour? It's the tour below the PGA Tour. Okay.
So like guys play in the Corn Fairy. It like guys play in the g league yeah and if they baseball certain guys get someone might promoted they get their their their pga card after playing in the yeah if someone wins this maybe they can get elevated those are the best stories yeah yeah if you get what five wins on the corn fairy tour then you get your card there's so many ways to to play tournaments and in the pga it's it's very cool like the qualifying system it's not like other sports where it's like you just have to go up a certain rank there's so many different ways to possibly qualify to play on the pga sounds like you're getting some ideas i mean i'm i'm thinking about it you can stick with the corn fairy i'm all about to live i'm just gonna make it to the pga tour it's it's live or die for me.
It's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be awesome.
Prep starts now. Okay.
Hole one, par five. Yeah, what's the distance? Handicap is a seven.
It's one of the longest holes on the course. It depends, but you can reach it in two if you're a longer hitter.
If you're not a pussy. What course is it? It's in Glenview.
Okay. Actually, speak the devil here glenn club okay uh you know you know who runs pr for the corn fairy tour it's uh tad from the jaguars remember him he was a pr guy he just hit me up he said let's get this broadcast handshake nice he's excited let's get it that was a comment that was like a private conversation i don't think anyone who's listening know who tad is no no no tad no, Tad is.
People around the league know Tad. Trust me.
This is a podcast. But the people listening, when you said that, I was like, what famous person runs the PR? Tad.
Tad is. Tad.
Tad. Cool Tad.
Tad's got a great name. He's the best Tad that you'll ever meet.
Yeah, no, he's a great dude. Didn't he get us in the pool? Yeah, he got us in the pool.
Love Tad. So there you go.
Tad. Is that short for Tadworth? I don't think so.
I think it's Taduel. Tadarick? Yeah.
Tad. Tad.
Tadley. Tad.
But I was actually thinking about this. I know we just talked about the playoffs and everything, but Lonnie should be Lonald.
Yeah. It should.
Lonnie should be Lonald. That should be his name.
I was thinking Lonathan. Lonathan's good, too.
I think it's Tadwick. Tadwick.
No, that's Chadwick. Tadley? Tadathan? It's probably like Theodore.
Tadison. What is Tad? I think.
Is it Ted? No. No, it can't be.
That would be.

Ted is a male given name or shortened version of Thaddeus or Thomas.

And then there's also one that's, this looks Irish, T-A-D-H-G.

Who the fuck knows how to say that? T-A-D-H-G.

Be real pronounced.

Careful.

Yeah, that was not Mike Tyson on the show.

That was just me saying that.

Yeah.

Okay. Hot seat culture on PFT.
My hot seat is Max. Oh, Max is on the hot seat because you know what's going on this week.
What? The Westminster Kittle Club show. Oh, no.
The dog show here in New York where you remember who won last year? Yeah. All time winner last year.
Remind me just as a bulldog, wasn't it? No, it was a trumpet the bloodhound oh it was a great great bloodhound first bloodhound to ever win i wish that they would let the dogs defend their titles yeah they should come back you should have to beat the dog to be the dog yeah so uh yeah trumpets out this year but they're out at arthur ash stadium yeah we got like outside this year yeah we got invited um and i, you know, credentials. So we can go behind.
And they're like, no, they just want to give you tickets. I was like, no, thanks.
Yeah. No, far way to go to see a dog.
I think we also got invited for credentials and stuff like that, too. No, I asked.
They said no. Oh, I got.
Oh, you got credentials. I saw it.
What do you got? Tad hooked it up. All the hookups.
No, I saw different. I thought that we were invited to go out there.
Because remember, that's where Hank and I got arrested back in 2017. At MSG, yeah.
At MSG. Yeah.
So they're out at Arthur Ashe Stadium right now. They had the agility drills last night, which are always fun to watch.
When you see the corgis go through the little sticks. Yep.
Doing the two paws, two paws, two paws. I want to see just a full dog combine.
I also like when they just take a shit. That's funny.
Yeah. When the dog's like, I got to go right now.
Yep. That's like throwing a pick six.
Or when the judge just gets right up in him, like a little too close, and the judge is enjoying it a little too much. There's some freaks that are dog show judges, some absolute freaks.
Yes. Okay.
And your cool throne? My cool throne is Jim Irsay. Ooh.
Because Jim Irsay, he's taking some matters into his own hands. There was a report that came out two days ago that the commanders last year contacted every quarterback in the league, including Patrick Mahomes, to see if they could get them on the commanders.
And they allegedly also reached out either to Andrew Luck or to somebody with the Colts to see if Andrew Luck would want to come back. Jim Irsay read this or somebody told him about it on ESPN.com.
And then Jim Irsay tweeted out that this would be clear tampering violation and that he wants the NFL to look into allegations of tampering, probably just to fuck Dan Snyder over one more time on his way out the door. Yeah.
Which I'm, I'm all in favor of. I think they should probably look into arresting him and putting him in jail for that.
If that happened, washington football team like that actually was a good thing they were doing yeah why not reach out to every single quarterback yeah i don't mind it at all it's good like yeah everyone you should call andrew luck every offseason just be like hey you feel like playing football yeah make them hang out are you done with architecture that's how deals get done so i don't i don't hate it uh but i i what's the punishment for tampering if a player? I mean, the Dolphins got a pick taken away. Yeah.
So it could be severe. It's usually a fine and a pick.
The Cardinals did too, right? Yeah. With Max's guy? You don't want a pick taken away.
I don't want that. So just reach a compromise, just arrest Dan Snyder.
Okay. And I think that would be fine.
I think that would satisfy all parties parties that's perfect um all right my hot seat uh is our friend bob huggins yeah he shouldn't have said that yeah shouldn't have said that he went he shouldn't have said that he went why'd he say that he said it twice he did say it twice he said it was twice he shouldn't have said that bob come on we love you huggy bear you can't use that word no that's also like you can you couldn't use that word, Bob. Come on.
We love you, Huggy Bear. You can't use that word.
No.

That's also like, you couldn't use that word for a very long time.

No.

That's not like, we're not on like a word transition time.

Yeah.

Where it's like, well, you know, he's an old guy.

Like, no, that word's not good for a long time.

I don't know if Bob can even play the PC card.

Like, oh, the world's gone crazy.

No.

I can't even go on the radio.

I think he actually, like, he released an apology apology immediately which i respect that because it is good to like just say like i really fucked up here because you really can't say much more i hope this doesn't get him fired um but you can't say that yeah on the radio or in life yeah when um when does castellanos play again yeah that's uh's what you say, Billy. I mean, you are.
You are. Can some guys just get the grandpa card? No, I don't think so.
I don't think Huggins. Yeah.
The grandpa card, I think, could have been played maybe in the late 90s, early 2000s on that one. Yeah.
I don't think this one works. Unless Bob Huggins was like, you know what? I'm gay.
Yeah. I can say it.

That's true.

In that case, that might play.

Yeah.

If he kisses a man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But wish he hadn't said that.

Shouldn't say that.

If he makes out with Mick Cronin.

Yeah.

At the center circle.

I think we can put that in the past and move forward.

Also, the radio hosts, they're like, isn't Bobuggins the best right after it is like what like it's just a very bizarre thing all around if you have bob huggins on the air after 11 30 a.m you might you have to be prepared for something like this to potentially happen yeah so i wish he hadn't said that not good don't say that i do i'm not big into like this guy should lose his job but the whole thing sucked yeah um said that since it's west virginia they might not care as much yeah yeah they might say and do all the right things for now and then they'll be like we've put bob through he he did the old uh like when riley cooper went to go to seek treatment right for saying what he said. For saying slurs.
Yes. All right.
My cool throne is the Chicago Blackhawks. We're going to talk about it with Biz as well, but they won the lottery.
Hank won the lottery. He predicted the Blackhawks would win the lottery.
Conor Bedard, from everything that I've heard, is next up. I got a little swept away in the moment.
I watched a highlight video. There's like a 20 minute highlight video I was watching and I did buy season tickets.
So I hope everyone here likes to go to hockey games because we're going to go to a lot of hockey games. I love hockey.
I got swept up. I mean, he looks I know there's a lot of pressure on him, but he does feel like a can't miss guy because I've got a trade proposition for you.
Okay. Put on your GM hat.
Because I'm assuming that the Wizards are going to get Wimpenyama, even though they only have like a 6% chance. But let's just say for this hypothetical, they get him.
Yeah. I would trade you Wimpenyama for Conor Bedard.
No. Do you accept or no? No.
You don't take that trade. Here's why.
Because Jerry Reinsdorf is a piece of shit. And he getting Wembiniana would suck.

Like he would ruin it.

He would find a way to ruin it.

I want him to sell the team.

Once Dan Snyder officially sells the team, we're going to move on to Jerry Reinsdorf for all of our efforts on selling teams.

No, I mean, I'm very like it was the combo of watching it happen.

Obviously, people thought it was rigged because there was a little bit of a weird thing that happened where they just eliminated the blue jackets before showing the blue jackets um and then the oilers i was watching the oilers national anthem and the pregame and everything and i got very swept up in it and i was like i'm buying season tickets fuck it good yeah yeah and we're gonna go to a bunch of games i mean right when it went to commercial break and going into that break, I think it was Kevin Weeks that said, and the Blue Jackets are the first team to move down a spot as the Blackhawks move up. I was like, wait, I didn't see that.
It was very bizarre. Where did that come from? And then we came back and then they did the drawing.
So I don't even, did they get to show the Blue Jackets logo? They did after the commercial. After they came back and then the Blackhawks moved up.
And I was like i thought we already taught what's going on right now at that moment i was like this is this is good for the nhl to have him in chicago yeah like i actually think i'm happy that you got him because having the blackhawks be good while we're in chicago is going to be awesome it's going to be fun to watch but we also got to see an all-time moment together where like 20 years from now we're going to look back on this night as it's going to be part of the lore around conor bedard yeah which is like the nhl rigged the draft yeah for chicago which i'm fine with which yeah i mean don't apologize for yeah for getting the winning side of this yeah the ducks really we're gonna have him go be mike trout jr come on anaheim come on no no this is a good thing for the nhl but it's also fun to just be there in a moment in time and know that looking back on it, we're going to be like, I'm going to tell my kids one day. Yeah.
I'm going to sit Chris down and be like, you know why the Blackhawks just won their fifth in a row is because they rigged it for Chicago. Yeah.
Also because the woke NHL wanted to ruin Columbus Day. Yes.
Yes. That's a fact.
It's, I mean, the Bulls have like a 2% chance, I think,

but that would be because now it's two for two,

last two drafts, number one pick.

I've been giving this a lot of thought

just because the move is happening next month,

and it's different in New York

because they're all rivals of Boston teams.

I'm going to be a Blackhawks fan, a Cubs fan, Bears.

I will be rooting for all those teams to be successful.

Yeah, I mean... because they're all rivals of Boston teams.
I'm going to be a Blackhawks fan, a Cubs fan, Bears.

I will be rooting for all those teams to be successful.

Yeah, I'm going to be more fun when they are.

People can call me a fake fan, but it's more fun.

I've said it about New York a bunch, too, even though they're rivals.

It's more fun living in a city when the sports teams are really good. You also are buying stock at the absolute lowest.

The Chicago sports cannot be worse. They are now back-to-back number one picks.
That means you're a really bad team. The White Sox are an absolute disaster.
The Cubs are like, they're hanging around. They might make the wild card.
But every team is as bad as it possibly can be. So the only way to go is up.
Or maybe worse. It's always weird to me that Chicago is in the West.
I always have to remind myself about that. Yeah, yeah.
For hockey. I mean, remember Detroit was in the West until a few years ago.
I thought Chicago was South. Cowboys, NFC East.
Yeah. Yeah.
Arizona used to be in the NFC East. That was weird.
The Tampa Bay Bucs used to be in the NFC Central, which is the North. Yeah.
No, I'm very much looking forward to the Blackhawks potentially being good. He looks so and you guys are gonna have to go to a bunch of games so i'm not like burning tickets like why'd i do this i'm ready okay all right good good uh billy also wait real quick if you're the nhl you should absolutely rig the draft duh this is entertainment yes listen you're a multi-billion dollar corporation do you want your best players to be playing for teams that nobody cares about.
Yeah. No, you don't.
You want them in Chicago. Yes.
Listen, you're a multi-billion dollar corporation. Do you want your best players to be playing for teams that nobody cares about?

Yeah.

No, you don't.

You want them in Chicago.

Yeah.

And like people were saying the NHL doesn't rig the draft.

That's why McDavid went to Edmonton.

No, you want Canadian teams to be good too.

Yeah.

That's a historically great franchise.

Pretty much the only two teams you don't want to be good or don't care about are the Columbus Blue Jackets, the Anaheim ducks yeah i would say the the yotes are probably on that list too the coyotes but they're building a new stadium they are so that that does count for something and they got biz loitering around too yeah but we'll biz will tell us how good connor berdard is because uh everyone says he's incredible i think columbus is could be a kind of a hockey town it could but we're just saying in terms of the nh they don't. True.
It's very clear that the original six is what the NHL, if they had a dream playoff run, that's what they want. Yeah.
Columbus, it's a sneaky big city. There are a lot of people there.
No, I'm not shitting on Columbus. I'm saying the NHL is.
And I'm sure that they like their blue jackets in Columbus. It's like a sports town.
So, of course they they care about their sports teams but from the business standpoint of the nhl you should definitely be rigging the draft and if you did rig the draft you would make sure that your generational talent goes to chicago yeah and not to anaheim yes yes uh billy my hot seat is everyone in the northeast and midwest oh we had a very mild winter that's a lot of that's a lot you're talking about the megalopolis yeah no no not down south okay there was a mile about west what uh california probably to the mississippi okay you know some parts of the the southeast okay uh we had a very mild winter uh there's a lot of ticks the winter didn't kill the ticks there's gonna be a lot of ticks tick-borne diseases are no the ticks. There's going to be a lot of ticks.
Tick-borne diseases are no joke. Did you say tick-porn? Dick-born.
You said dick-born? Dick-born. Dick-born diseases.
Have you been watching tick-born? You did just say tick-born and dick-born. You just stick your whole head in there in tick-born.
Yeah, there's this new one, babiosis. Sometimes you might get bit by a tick and just start breaking out in hives every time you eat red meat.
But just be careful out there. Do tick checks.
Get a buddy. Get naked.
Check each other with ticks because it's no joke. Now, this is tick porn again.
You just described tick porn. Yeah.
It's pretty bad. I feel like I've been out in the woods.
Yeah, me too. Some type of primal monkey porn aspect of that that is kind of right up your alley too.
Pick ticks off your friends and eat them like monkeys. What do ticks do other than be motherfuckers? Well, I mean, it's all about the wolves, man.
We killed all the wolves. The deer population exploded, and then the tick population exploded.
But what do they do? Because I know that- They're parasites. I think, yeah, but I think birds eat them.
Right. Whenever you say, like, let's get rid of this.
Everyone's like, well, if you got rid of this, then the whales would die. And this would fucking, you know, the climate would change.
What do ticks do? I'll tell you what they do. Big cat is they keep Billy's fertility in check, because if it wasn't for ticks and all the weird diseases and rashes he's gotten, there could be untold numbers of Billy footballers running around.
Can we just like that's good for the environment ticks? What is this? I might be wearing a frontline collar this year just because of last season. The ticks one.
So like the concussion thing. What? All right.
Here we go. What ticks are a favorite food source for chickens, turkeys and other ground birds like grouse, a strong and important link in the food the food chain see that's they always say the food chain and it's always bullshit because there's no way a chicken if you gave a chicken chicken or a tick they would eat the chicken yeah they're cannibals or corn if you made the chicken nice yeah right so ticks do you want do you want to be eating chicken that was raised eating ticks i don't know i want to eat the chicken that ate chicken.
Yeah. Double protein.
Right. It's a turducken.
Yeah. Yeah.
But they always just say the food chain. Fuck the food chain.
Yeah. I'm anti-tick.
I think as a podcast, we are all anti-tick, right? Huge anti-tick. Max? No, because ticks kill dogs.
So Max is pro-tick. Yeah.
I'm done with the dog thing. Are you actually mad about the dog thing, Max? I actually, last night, I was dog sitting a dog.
It was nice. Did it survive? Yeah, I was cuddling with the dog all night.
I'm a great dog guy. I have pictures to prove.
Okay. What type of dog was it? Is this like I have a black friend? Is this what you're doing right now? That does kind of sound like that.
You're like, you just happened to be with a dog last night that you have pictures with? That happened. Look at me hanging out with my cool dog.
Yeah. This is awesome.
Max, you should go to Westminster Kennel Club. Yeah.
And just so we're clear, Max, you may be done with the dog thing. We are not.
Okay. Yeah.
I mean, that's just a fact. Yeah.
I mean, there's video evidence. have evidence too it's not well you have pictures we're talking about motion pictures moving pictures right a video of you ignoring a dog but i have i mean enough pictures make make motion pictures those could be out of context we don't know video could be out of what video is not out of context seconds before you strangle the dog you know know what, Max? Wrong.
Not this weekend, but next weekend, if you babysit my dog. No, don't do this, Max.
No, no, no. Then it proves you like dogs.
Max, there are a lot of pictures of John Wayne Gacy being a funny clown around kids. That's true.
Doesn't show the end of it. All right, now I'm John Wayne Gacy.
Of dogs, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You won't dog-sit my dog. No.
Billy's just want something for free. All right, your cool throne.
My cool throne is former Bill's punter Matt Areza. There's been 200 pages of exculpatory evidence that's been released that's kind of cleared his name.
Yeah, the whole story is fucking bullshit. The whole thing's crazy.
I'm not going to go into the details, but he got tore down pretty bad. Don't want another sean oakman situation hopefully he gets his career back on track i think i think some team will probably punt god yeah yeah he is the punt god yeah it's it's pretty fucked up so hopefully he does he is on a roster uh jake uh my hot seat is bad football teams because i just noticed your shirt way.
Yeah, that was my cool throw in the Barstool store.

Okay, but I'm wearing the Hemi shirt.

Hank's wearing Celtics.

That might be the official death of the Hemi.

Yeah.

Hemi.

Wait, was it ESPN?

I mean, it's funny.

It's funny, but it's also like, ah.

Was it like the SportsCenter account last year that said, like, who's more him?

Yeah. I thought it was over then.
No, Hmy. Yeah, himmy.
Jake rocking the himmy. I'm just promoting.
We've got Brickwall Bob. Why not go Jimmy Himmler? Oh, wait, no.
This isn't the best promotion of our own merch. We've done better.
I agree. We've done better.
Dude's Himothy McVay. White hot playoffs.
You guys want to describe Jimmy Wheat Ross? Yeah, yeah. Hank's rocking an awesome shirt.
It looks like it's Lucky the Leprechaun just dunking on Ben Franklin. Yeah.
That's pretty cool. And then anti-American, but that's okay.
Max has Fear the Beard. Some great playoff shirts.
I actually. Thored up arselessports.com.
The hemi might be growing on me. It's it is funny it's one of those shirts that here's here's the pitch here here's how we'll do it max that hemi is a shirt you gotta buy now because it's gonna be a relic in like 20 years someone's gonna be like why do you have a shirt that says hemi yeah and then you'll be like well you gotta understand what 2023 was right yeah everyone was him yeah okay yeah i might be using last minute game time tickets and if i do i might have to rock this to the garden you gotta rock him yeah yeah let him know jake exactly if the when the heat win this series in the next round when come on jake come on jake when they win the series you should have to wear that shirt all series long next series okay not change it how's the I'm a little behind.
Oh, interesting. Yeah.
Sounds like it's not the best to eat. No, it is.
Oh, well, then you should have. But you said all the kettle corn.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sounds like you haven't eaten all the kettle corn. I have not eaten all of it.
Okay. So what was your hot seat? My hot seat is bad football teams because the NFL announced the announcement to the schedule and not all teams are guaranteed primetime games so next episode we'll have the schedule yes and i'm very excited because so not all teams will have primetime games there's going to be teams can have two thursday night games um black friday and there's no fox uh cbs so it just like nfc being fox cbs being asc doesn't exist any spangles on Fox.
Yeah. They messed around a little bit with that last year.
There were a couple of games where I was like, why are the Broncos and the Raiders playing on Fox? This makes no sense to me. So it's going to take some getting used to when you see that happen all the time.
But at least we've dipped our toes in it. So it's not going to be a total shock.
I like the Black Friday game, too, because I know that people will make the argument like the Sunday will be weak because there will be three games on Thursday, one game on Friday. You're taking away a bunch of games.
I kind of like that as like the cool down for a long Thanksgiving football, like having only a few games you have to watch on that Sunday is nice. It's nice because that's also a big travel day.
Yeah. So a lot of people be able to travel without worrying about missing their game.
Also, it's 500 IQ play by Jeff Bezos in the NFL. Make sure people stay home as much as possible on Black Friday.
Yeah. Do their shopping online.
That's what they're going for. That might be my 1-1 pick of the year, a week of the year is Thanksgiving week because not only the football, but college basketball feast week and the food there's so much yeah i don't really like what do you mean the turkey i'm not a big eater world cup in qatar yeah has happened at least one time before on that week too yeah true it's a great spot today we can break down our schedules okay yeah we're gonna break down going to break down our schedules.
I give the schedule makers an A-plus for the design. Yeah.
I like the system. We'll maybe draft which weeks.
Yeah. We'll do it.
Yeah, we should draft the best weeks. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's go to Biz. Let's talk some hockey with our good friend, Paul Bissonette.
Before we get to Paul, Miss the Net, he's brought to you by 3hi. I'm not a drug guy, but I am a 3Chi guy.
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3Chi, 3Chi, 3Chi. And now, here's Biz Nasty.
Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Paul Bissonette. He hasn't been on for hockey playoffs yet.
We thought, let's get this guy on because he's on your TV every single night working marathon shifts, which we want to talk about. But, Biz, we should start with you telling me how good conor bedard is because obviously that was big

news on monday night the blackhawks going from third to one franchise altering i saw people tweeting at you like he's already better than conor mcdavid yeah well i might have asked that question i also got a little you got some real bag lickers that follow you on social media You say jump, they'll say, how high, Mr. Big Cat?

I watched a highlight video of him um it was like 10 minutes long and then i immediately bought season tickets no that was just game tape from one game yeah so i'm in i i bought season tickets i'm in like he's he is he going to be as well you know the famous saying yeah you buy low high. And it's as low as it can get for the Chicago Blackhawks.
But just buddy, the way they're talking about him, it's like getting a Connor McDavid. Like, I mean, uh, who was the guy before him? Sidney Crosby, Patrick Crosby.
Yeah. Yeah.
Crosby. I feel like they spoke about Ovechkin, but like they're in Russia, right? So you just like really never know.
But I actually played under 18 against Ovechkin. And I think that he was a year younger than me.
And you're like, uh, this guy's a 35 year old man, just running around here, shooting the puck harder than I've ever seen. So I was like, this guy's going to come over and light it.
But as far as they're talking about him, yeah, it should be anothercdavid did you hear the story about how his shot came to be no wit wit was the one who dug it up i guess he like broke his hand in a certain spot at a certain age where the doctor said hey this is you don't move this like don't get antsy about like stick handling pucks like you can't move your hand because this could like stunt your growth and become a problematic area for you. So he literally like, he's like a hockey psycho.
So when the doctor told him that he was like, he didn't move his arm, but what he did do was he was shooting pucks and he learned how to shoot with just his top hand. Oh, I love that.
So he was like using his leg leverage. so he just but he just like developed strength and a flick of the wrist with his top hand that

is just like it's like Popeye like and it's actually not a bad thing that your bottom hand is very loose and and up and down the shaft very lightly right like just ah you know and and your bottom hand should always cradle and and that's where the stick handling comes from and the top hand does all the the load and the heaviness so he has this like shot that you know all the big boys who have skated with him because all the hockey nerds always get together in the lab and they travel around skate on the same training rinks in the summer so they add the upper hand and they stay there kind of like the you know when jordan used to get these games going and and they say his shot is the best they've ever seen.

It's insane what he's able to do and how he's able to quickly elevate the puck.

And he has a lethal shot.

So it's cool.

He's a phenom.

So what other part – how would you describe his game, his attributes?

Or maybe what is he going to have to work on to be impactful? Because he's going to play right away, I would assume. Yeah, so I would say that he's highly skillful, great hockey sense, good hockey brain, good playmaking ability too, so he's a good passer.
But you just always question whether a guy that size, and I would say I I think that he's he's fairly quick but you never know how it transfers to when you get to like NHL speed because he's only played junior right uh so you always just question like will he have that jump in the NHL which when you lose that those passing lanes close down a little bit more and you know your shots not your shot is is for junior beating goalies like crazy like that. But now you've got to beat NHL goalies who are way better than junior goalies.
So you just never know if it transfers over. And then the last aspect would be size.
He's like 5'9". So it's fucking...
Did you say nice? No, he's 5'9". Perfectly average size.
But in today today's nhl you can get away with that yeah i would say that you buddy if you're going to be a first line center in the national hockey league you usually want to be 5 11 6 foot around that minimum okay first of all don't buddy me second of all you got the skates on that get that gets you right up to six feet. You're an idiot.

They all get the three inches, buddy.

That's a good point.

His skates are a little bit.

He's 5'10". He's listed at 5'10".

But wouldn't you say it is fair to say.

He's like PFT.

He goes on his tippy toes for those measuring jobs.

He's wearing the three layers of socks.

No, it's the Nike 270s.

That's my secret.

He's smaller, yes, but similar to the NFL with quarterbacks like the game has changed where it's a lot more speed and it's not as much like big dudes 100 so the the counter argument back is saying the league is is is built built now and heading in a direction where it benefits player of his skill set i would compare him to like a messy where it's like let's see if he could be a little Messi out there when he's just doing all these fucking fun little things and he's just lethal. And he's like dipping and diving.
But Mitch Marner, who on my Toronto Maple Leafs, it doesn't always transfer to playoff hockey as well. So you can have as much regular season success.
He's like a 100-point guy. And when push comes to shove, the size always becomes a factor at some point.
So how does that work in the NHL when you have a top-tier talent that's expected to come in, contribute almost immediately? Is there any conversation they're going to have of, like, let's not move this guy up until it's time for him, and maybe we'll start him elsewhere and then bring him in during the season? I don't know. I just feel like he's such a hockey psycho because you could tell he's just fully all the time dialed into hockey.
So that's how these other greats, like you talk about McDavid and Crosby. So I would say that you don't put the reins on someone like that.
What Chicago needs to do is they need to go out and get a few crafty free agents who he can play with so he's not like the crosby when he came in i feel like they got enough guys early where they loaded him up where he could learn and play with players that could make plays so you don't want to put him on an island to where if he's not playing with these skillful players it's going to be a lot harder for him to step in and like continue to gain that confidence because confidence is a big part of it too right you want these kids are he doesn't he doesn't want to have an okay uh first season he wants to win the calder right you know that's how that's how he's tapped so you got to make sure you surround him for success and make sure that you allow the reins to come off and and and let him go early so because you don't want to like a guy like, so for instance, like the Rangers always like, oh, we got this Lafreniere first overall. But it's like, yeah, but they weren't talking about Lafreniere like they're talking about Bedard.
So what about some of the other guys around them? Because I understand what you're saying with that one, but the Penguins also brought in some goons when they got Crosby to protect them a bit do you think the blackhawks should they be looking in the goon department 100 go go like i don't know if reeves is up buddy go pay him two million a year for for two years give him a two-year deal maybe even a three-year deal and you just say revo we're gonna give you and if the team's not that great he's gonna get to play a little bit if anyone goes if anyone breathes on him Revo goes up and just I would sign the two toughest guys I'd after I'd go after Delorier to just put a goon line on the fourth line yeah and nobody's going to go near him I like that and there's still a little bit of that in the NHL and I feel like the pendulum has swung back in that direction like Do you feel like the playoffs have been a little bit more extra violent? Yeah, I like it. Awesome.
Get Wi-Fi on the team. What's his name? What's the guy's real name? Wi-Fi.
That's all I know. Get Wi-Fi on there.
My last question about Bedard and the lottery. I'll give him a double-wrister for you.
Let me get the lotion out'm asking questions he's not there's gonna be a plenty of time for me to go crazy for him i was thinking about naming my unborn son connor but i was like that's a lot of pressure to put on bedard uh if he's not good uh but what what uh is the draft yeah you don't need the jock snippers following you on twitter going after him and his family because he didn't leave up to the hype so now your your son has to live in shame yeah yeah that was it was a fleeting thought this morning uh what is is the draft lottery rigged we uh god we so we interviewed charles barkley today and we were joking around about it i would just say having conor bedard in chicago is very good for business yep um and you know they were supposed to draft in the third spot and I just think it's convenient. I think it's, I think it's convenient last year that Montreal got the first pick, you know, and it was in Montreal draft, you know, let's get the, let's get them really.
And that's like a, that's the mecca of hockey. Like when Montreal is good, it's really good for the league.
And as Charles said And as Charles said, he goes, man, look at how good it is for the NBA right now.

The Knicks are relevant.

The Lakers are relevant.

Who are the other big-name teams that are still in it?

Boston.

Yeah, Philly.

Golden State.

Yeah, it's good.

The league's thriving.

And, yeah, I mean, you don't want Chicago to be bad.

But, no, I don't think it's rigged.

No, I don't think that – no. But did you see what happened? The star thing? Well, the blue jackies.
So that star thing is put on a team or the number where somebody has jumped up. Okay.
So the thing about the draft this year is if, let's say,

Coyotes would have jumped off, if a team would have jumped up in odds, there would have been a star associated to the next pick. So it just so happened that every single team up until that point had been drafted exactly where they were slotted.
Yeah, it is funny to think that there's somebody behind the scenes that's putting a's putting a star on there it's like remember guys this is rigged for chicago like that guy would never be hired they would never have that person in the graphics department making sure to show to highlight what was being rigged it was just funny how it went to commercial and before they went to commercial they said okay and the blue jackets are out of it go fuck off columbus and back. In the video, it looked like the Chicago people were already celebrating in the video.
It was. It's like, you're on cue, and go.
Listen, I don't think it's rigged, but it is convenient. And then to add in the fact that you had the star thing and also the Columbus being eliminated before we even saw it, it was weird.
They didn't pull it off very well. And if you look at any of the draft parties, like Columbus was at a bar.
There was the most people. It was so authentic.
There was probably 500. There might have even been 1,000 people at it.
Like there was pictures of it online, and they didn't even get to see their card turned over. They just got kind of like pigeon-tossed.
Yeah. I feel.
But Columbus is an unbelievable market. I was hoping that if,

if any of those three teams would have got it,

it would have been Columbus.

Cause then Johnny Goudreau there and Patrick line is there.

So all of a sudden they might've been a playoff team for like this,

like underdog market where it's like,

yeah,

they got a fucking like generational player.

It would have been cool.

I love how you say Montreal,

by the way,

too.

Like last night,

I think weeks was saying it month Montreal, Montreal. It's really nice.
I like that. What do you call it? Montreal.
Well, I'm French. I say Marielle.
Marielle. Ooh.
Ooh, yeah. That's good.
Oh, yeah? You want to fucking one-up me, bitch? Yeah. You want to one-up me how I say Montreal? Say it again.
Say it again. Marielle.
Oh, yeah. So, Biz, before we talk about that.
Tell me that's not beautiful. No, it's me that's not beautiful it was beautiful before we get to that's why i can barely say english where i was born french canadian right and then i switched over in grade seven and then i i was i so i kind of suck at both now i can't even say really i can't say long thoughtful sentences in either language i'm kind of 50 50 but you're bilingual the only time it really pays off is when i go to montreal on a four-day heater with my buddies and like i'm trying to whisper sweet nothing in a uh stripper's ear it would be awesome though if when you spoke in french you were just a genius that would be awesome yeah yeah like beethoven yeah yeah so we say oh say so bad like just like make make girls just soak soaking wet so busy like uh who's that'd be like a fabio novel you have like i'd have like chicks write me like i was in prison like just absolute off the chart like kind of like big cat fans like that's that level of psycho fandom you got his fans too you um so you've been working crazy hours you do have a little chaotic energy right now which i love are you like not sleeping we're looking at your you've been in a hotel i just i drank a coke i drank a coke so i'm a bit of a sugar high okay no but but we just interviewed charles for two we sat down with charles barkley for two hours and and like dude me like ra he used to go watch him play like wit like wit just posted a photo it was an awesome conversation we touched it all he was telling stories about how like the dream team like they were when they all these like gamblings on the flights like how like i was like so you guys were just like like was it like an iou system and he's like no like every guy was carrying at least 100 grand cash on him like just you know surreal shit it was cool two hours with charles barkley so i'm on a natural high right now i like it i like it so you so you have been in atlanta you've been in a hotel room how are you like do you get to hang out with those guys at all because You're working crazy hours.
Do you get to like, do you have a relationship with Charles and Shaq and Kenny? Yeah, I say what's up. Yeah, they've been super kind.
You try to give them their space because they're probably like, fuck, I'm a pigeon compared to those guys. So you try to be like, you know, be respectful.
But they take over when they're in studio. They have the main room and we get, we kind of get the sofa room.
But but yeah we usually try to like let them focus on what they're doing and what they're watching because like sometimes you're doing four games in a night or two games in a night so you're trying to like siphon all that information and stuff like that but other than that yeah we we interact with them a little bit and charles comes over and wants to josh about the hockey side of it because he thinks playoff basketball even to some degree is pretty boring so yeah how big he said it on one of the broadcasts yeah he was like i'm watching this game i turn on the hockey yeah he said don't watch the first round of the playoffs on tnt that was great how big is shack like the first time that you that you meet shack because he's enormous every now and again those pictures go viral it's like Shaq, Charles Barkley, and The Rock. And The Rock looks like an ant compared to Shaq.
He's enormous and he's a funny guy. Whenever he comes in the hockey room, he'll come in and he'll act like he's skating.
So he does this hockey shuffle. They're next level funny, like the banter.
So usually we just shut up when they're in the room so we can have some chuckles and like shackle, go to like the far toilet in the, in the makeup room and like drop one. And he'll come out and be like, don't nobody go to the back of the room for five minutes.
And he like smokes, smokes us out of the makeup room basically, or you can't use the bag. So that he's just, I couldn't even imagine how big they must be coming out of that massive human like i don't even know how it gets down down but they're just like they're just funny they're funny guys man it's it's uh it's a cool interaction it's cool watching the the pros go at it and uh and it's been fun like the hockey broadcasts have been awesome and the whole tnt family's awesome and it and it's been great.
We actually heard the other day, we had Yandalo on the show, and he was talking about how Whitney clogs every toilet that he uses. Because he's a crumpler? He's a crumpler, yeah.
So he's got a real issue. If you had to pick one guy to take a shit in your toilet, would it be Ryan Whitney or it would be Shaq? That's a bizarre question.
Yeah, who's going to clog it? I would probably trust Shaq as he's probably not a crumpler like Witt. But Witt says he's changed his ways on the crumpling.
He used to be a crumpler. You can evolve from that? Was he fooled now? Well, I think he learned his lesson.
He used to do it a lot as a kid. And yeah, I think that was the...
I only saw a clip of it on the internet. I didn't see the full conversation.
And who was it? I think it was on game notes. I wasn't even on the show.
Yeah, basically Yandel said that Ryan Whitney uses so much toilet paper every time he takes a shit that every toilet that he uses gets clogged up. I mean, I just have never really been sharing a toilet with Ryan Whitney.
So I'll have to ask him if he's still crumping it up for you. Check that crumping it up.
All right, so hockey, let's start with your Leafs. Do they count as getting to the second round if they don't win a single game? Oh, man, I think everybody's getting canned, and I think it's almost worse that they got past the first round and then took a massive dump like this.
I think it feels like they came in underestimating the Florida Panthers. It looks like they felt because they got past the first round, all of a sudden it would just be easy.
Where it's like, no, it gets a lot more challenging and you've got to go even more to the harder areas.

And it's just like the big boys have – I don't think either of the core four guys have scored a goal so far in the series after three games. I don't know.

I get playing okay or playing all right, but even – last game, their backs were against the wall.

They're down 0-2, and they didn't really play that good for the first 40 minutes. They laid an egg.
And even going back to game two, they had a 2-0 lead, and then the second period they took a massive shit where the best players just made these stupid gaffes of giving the puck up on their own end when really they didn't need to, and boom, boom, and all of a sudden they're down 0-2.

So just overall just I think if they get swept, every single guy is getting gassed and maybe one of the big guys getting traded. So complete implosion.
So who would you trade? I haven't like – as a fan of the team, I'm kind of like I don't really want to go there. I don't want to dive too deep into that yet because like there is a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a,

a, like I as a fan of the team I'm kind of like I don't really want to go there I don't want to dive too deep into that yet because like there is a a slim glimmer of hope that they come back and win I think that they I think that they have a better group they just have to now go on an insane run only four teams in the history of the NHL have came back from 0-3. The Leafs in like the

fucking 20s or 40s

but it was in the cup final.

They were down 0-3 and they won the cup.

They won four straight.

The Islanders did it in 75

where they were down 0-3 at one point

in the playoffs.

Who was the other one?

The Flyers did it to the Bruins.

Yeah.

Who did it? Was it the Flyers? The Flyers did it to the Bruins like maybe a decade ago. And then in the first round, LA did it to San Jose and then they ended up going to win the cup in 2014.
I don't know if you guys remember that. They were down 0-3 in the first round of the San Jose Sharks and they just rifled it off.
And they'd won the cup two years prior. So it was just this insane fucking thing that they did.
So who knows? Maybe they're the fifth team to do it. And maybe it's just this bizarre run, because I don't even think they should have won the first round against Tampa.
If Vasilevsky would have played like Vasilevsky, the Leafs would have been fucking done in six games. So I think that if they get swept, everybody's gone,

and who knows if they go on this improbable run.

So we'll talk about who I'm trading after the series is over.

All right.

There was another team that went down 3-0 the other day. On Sunday, in the game, the Devils-Hurricanes game,

Devils went up 3-0.

You said game over.

Don't even bother playing the rest of the game. Game over.
I'll go one up. I say don't even bother playing the rest of the series.
I think the Devils are going to come back to win it all. How about that? You got into a little back and forth with talking on that one.
Because I think that he, obviously he has a lot of respect for Rod Brindamore and the Carolina Hurricanes, and so do I. But you could just tell after the way the game started, and then the way that it was going through the first 15 minutes I'm like ah New Jersey has their legs and and Carolina's timings off Carolina's so good at pressuring the puck and then they do so as like a group whereas like the first guy is getting pressure and sometimes when you pass the next guy the next guy's got like a little bit of breathing room but they do it so well in unison that it feels like they're constantly breathing down your neck they're one of the best defensive teams and they're so disciplined their penalty kill finally uh new jersey had scored their first power play goal against them they have this whole season and playoffs against new jersey new jersey's had like 22 or 23 power plays they finally finally got their first one and Carolina's scored seven shorthanded goals against them.
They're even fucking better than when they're shorthanded. That's how good they pressure.
But it just they felt like they were off. They didn't have their jump and New Jersey did and I said they're going to run a track meet and they got that Luke Hughes in there making plays and they just felt in rhythm I felt the game was over the minute the first period was over.
I was truly confident saying that and then they went on to route them 8-4. So I finally got a hot take right.
So what you're saying is you'll know within the first like 10 minutes of their next game who's going to win. No I felt that in that game it felt right in that game just seeing what I'd seen if if Carolina was all over them and there were a couple flu goals and you're like okay yeah but it's just like like even defensively Carolina felt off and the problem with Carolina is right now if Carolina goes on to win the Stanley Cup Rod Brindamore should have a statue built in front of the arena of him because he won it as a player there as a leader, but also the fact that he's gotten every one to buy in and they've lost three of their top six forwards and they need offense.
But they got past the Islanders, they won the first two games against New Jersey and put on a defensive clinic. Whereas in games where they're off defensively, they just don't have the firepower to keep up with New Jersey.
They don't. They don't have the firepower.
And then when you're down 3-0, boys, you have to take – especially for a team like that, you start to have to take a few risks offensively, and that's when they start to open things up, and that's when a team like New Jersey starts to eat you alive yeah they can't open things up they can't play that game so new uh

carolina out game them at home in the first two games where they new jersey couldn't breathe yeah Thank you. um what about what about uh the oilers and the knights so they i mean it's been a crazy series obviously the golden knights killed them on monday night uh do you think this is gonna be one of those series just goes back and forth like this and we'll get to like seven or have you from watching it been like no Vegas is that much better than Edmonton um I I know I Yans was busting my ball so is Witt because I kept I brought the the little nugget we sometimes bring nuggets to the podcast Vegas was the least penalized team during the regular season yeah so overall they play a disciplined game because they you know they they, they, they played, play the game the right way.
They got the right pieces. Um, in the first couple of games, they like were dummies and they were in the box, especially in game two.
Like, and this, this Edmonton power play is the best power play. Like the league's ever seen.
It's, it's incredible. So in game three, they stayed out of the box, and they really took it to Edmonton five on five,

and Edmonton laid an egg at home.

I think game four is going to tell us a lot,

but I feel like Edmonton's going to need at least three, four power plays,

and their bottom six is going to have to end up playing better than normal

and scoring some goals in order to help them get past Vegas. The one thing, though for vegas now is though is they have this aiden hill and net rasois was doing such a good job in net and last game and this guy's had two hip surgeries you saw him push over trying to make a cross crease uh save and it looks like he blew out his hip again but they got jonathan quick the guy who was in la who won two cups and won a con smite as their third string so now he's going to be the backup and then they got this young kid Aiden Hill Aiden Hill used to play in Phoenix I trust him I like him he's like six five huge wingspan he doesn't get too busy so if he's just holding his angle and they're getting the team defense there's not a lot of net to shoot at so if he can hold the fort for them and they can get consistent goaltending man the knights could knock off the oilers and if but i'll never count count out conor mcdavid and leon dreisaitl every time they've had maybe like a so so bad game they've responded like they lost game one and then dre like dry side had four goals in game one of the series and then like he had to bring it again because they had to win game two because they lost game one in a four goal effort and he had like i think he had two goals and assist or a goal and two assists and mcdavid had two and one mcdavid had a shorthanded goal like those two guys when they put their will to it they'll just take over the the whole game.
I say it's Pippen and Jordan. I say the best duo since Pippen and Jordan.
I think they're going to win a championship, so at that point, you can say that. Is it going to be this year? They'd have to win six, but yeah.
They've had a very, very difficult path. LA was no joke.
LA was better than them 5-5 in that series.

Their power play saved them in the first series,

like Leon and Connor.

If they get out of this series, man,

it's going to beat them up even more,

and then the next series ain't going to be easy either.

They have a hard path.

If they can do it, if McDavid and Dreisaitl

can drag these guys up there and get it done in that fucking battle what a show i think i think that would be so good for hockey i i'm not giving up on the leaves but if they don't win it i would happy if wit wit and and you got to celebrate big cat if they go to the finals big cat we want you guys coming to edmonton to see how crazy these fans are. I mean, I bet they're nuts.
Yeah. Would you guys come up there? Yeah, if it works for our schedule.
I mean, I have that future ticket. I mean, I have a future ticket.
Hank's giving me a face. If I could get there, I'm not going to say yes.
Hank is just giving me doubt that I have to have, which I actually appreciate what he just did. A maybe.
It's a maybe. Okay.
Yeah. International travel is kind of tough.
Got a kid on the way. Yeah.
We're going to bring it through Pearson. We're going to give you the full Ryan Whitney experience.
Yeah, so what happens now? What are the exact terms of the bet in this Maple Leafs-Panthers series? Is it you have to go to Daytona Beach? No, I Yans tried to bet that with wit and wit backed out quick because he didn't because he didn't trust Toronto I bet Yans 500 bucks which you guys are going to scoff at I'm not a big gambler I don't put the big units like I mean do you gamble like uh big cat do you put the heavy heavy beatdowns I've been putting down some pretty significant amounts of money recently, but it's not in the like, I think my biggest ticket this year, I put eight grand on the Eagles to win the Super Bowl. Out of solidarity.
Out of solidarity, out of friendship. That's a heavy tag.
Yeah, it is. It was a heavy loss.
And the doink bet. Oh yeah, the doink bet was big, too.
I lost a lot of money on that.

The Kraken.

Let's talk Seattle real quick.

Yes.

Because all the prognosticators and the experts,

by which I think we mean like two people that we talked to about the Kraken,

everyone counted them out.

Nobody thought the Kraken was even going to win.

I think Whitney said they might win one game against the Avalanche, right?

So they win the first round. They're up right now against the Stars.
Are they flukes? Are they for real? No, they're for real. Nice.
They just, so I didn't trust them against the champs either, but the champs, I thought they were going to get Landisgaard back maybe. He was ruled out.
Then they lost Nachushkin, which was a massive power forward for them. They didn't have Kadadri from last year.
They just really only had their top line. But still, they were the champs.
The big three for Colorado did everything they could to get them out of that round. But Seattle is just such a disciplined team.
They don't really get out of structure. They have all these castaway type players.
The best way to describe it is they have four second lines which yeah they don't have those top beasts but every night they have these like constant waves just coming at you so they never really slow the pace of the game down which that sucks if you're an opposing team because you never feel like you can just like maybe dust it off and transition and slow the pace of the game down uh they don't take a ton of penalties they don't give up a lot of odd man rushes so you're never really getting those high-end scoring danger opportunities against them uh and they've been getting great goaltending grubauer looks awesome right now because they're not giving up a crazy ton of chances and then also when they are he's making the big ones and then hank came on the broadcast because he jumps on and off with tnt and he described it as like a lot of these young like new school goalies they drop too fast and wayne gretzky loses his fucking mind about it because i think grant fear like he would stand up and he would more react to the shot where these guys are used to playing this butterfly style.

So he stands up more. He's a little bit more reactive and calm before he drops down.
And Hank thinks it's just because of the way the team allows the shots to come in and the fact that he's not overreacting and dropping every time and allowing a lot upstairs. so along with the goaltending play the discipline and the fact that they just have all these worker

bees they just they just they can outpace you and outwill you and then they when they smell blood they strike all right so you said something interesting there that I wanted to follow up on because I love like the inside hockey stuff that you know people like us might not see you said uh the shots they allow in so on the scouting report before a game are they saying like hey these are the shots we're okay with letting go through and these are the shots that we're not going to let go through and that way it gives our goalie a leg up to know like hey you don't have to worry about this type of shot yeah or in even some cases getting through and like talk it brought it brought it up on the broadcast and how when like a player on the power play is coming down a certain way if you're the defenseman in front of the net you want to make sure you're blocking the far side of the net one because you you don't want the goalie to like see the puck and then lose track of it behind your back to go back to the to the far side right and then as theie, you only have to worry about covering half of the near side net where some of these goalies being six, five, even if you do drop in that position and you're out enough and you have your angle, it's just going to hit you and there's nowhere to shoot at. Right.
So yeah, like certain teams, they play defense well enough and they understand how they need to defend in order to where they're willing to allow the danger, quote unquote, danger shots to come from. So that's why it's fun coming on to talk about this stuff because in hockey, it's not like basketball where a few guys can get it done.
You truly have to get it done as a group. And it's each team that's still in playoff kind of has their unique way of getting the wins done in the way their team does it.
For instance, Edmonton, how lethal their skill and power play is. They set an NHL record 56% in the first round execution on their power play.
It was the most in one playoff series ever. That's why I said it carried them through the first round where they had a hard opponent.
Seattle is just like they're just so disciplined. It's like they're a bunch of monks or something.
They're in like a cult. All for the team.
All for the team. March to the ice.
They got that little nightclub on the way out. And then buoy the mascots.
They are trolls. Maybe they're just all for the team.
It's like a gnome voice that you're doing. I like it.
Yeah. Is there anything to the rest versus rust debate? We have it in basketball all the time where it's like, oh, you would rather, you know, you want to get it done four games.
Sweep them. Get some time off.
Go out to Vegas. Do whatever you want.
Then come back, you're refreshed for the next round? Or is there something to a team like being battle-tested in hockey during the playoffs? It's funny you bring that up because I had a couple of buddies that played on that LA Kings team, the first cup they won. And I think they won every round.
They only lost three games all playoffs. So they were finishing so fast so they'd have a week off to the next game.
And they got the eighth seed, so there was no expectations. And they were going out like three nights in a row after that, just fucking getting buckled.
And they just had this awesome run where they kept partying. So when you want to say get in rest and maybe having a little bit of fun fun I always think that having days off is important during playoffs to rest your body take the edge off but like that that was kind of an old school way of doing it I don't I don't know if like for instance at the panthers sweep they're going to be going to get banged up for for three four days the game has changed where it's more the the protein shake and I don't even think like half the guys drink in the league anymore for crying out loud, but like, that's the, that's the age old argument for Florida right now.
They sweep, like they would have, if the other series goes seven, I believe they would have nine days off. You there, there's a certain thing about keeping your rhythm because they're clearly peaking at the right time.
Florida was a team that barely got in and they caught wind just after the all-star break. And they went on this crazy run.
They got goaltending from this like no-name kid who got them to where they were. And then now Bobrovsky, the old two-time Vesna winner is playing like the Vesna winner again.
So they've just been on this like, it's like when a team's feeling it, they're feeling it. They look like they're feeling it like when Washington won that cup.
Like, didn't you feel like after watching them for a round and a half, you're like, ooh, I got that feeling. It was when they came back from, they were down 2-0 to Columbus, I think, and then they won game three in overtime.
That's like when you're talking about the Maple Leafs, if the Maple Leafs win two games in a row right now, I could definitely see them going on a run because, like you've been've got all the talent in the world but they look soft in the playoffs they look like they don't have that edge to them but once you start to like believe in your team and be like oh shit we could mount a historic comeback right now that could carry over to multiple rounds right there oh if they were to come back in in this series like there would be I would put, I'm a gambler i'd i'd match your 8k bet i'd say there's no way they're not winning the cup now i like that would be so much mojo i mean who didn't who did it in boston did it against the yankees remember what and they hadn't won the world series in how long and in that first run where they ended up cracking the the long run they were down oh three to the yankees

yeah yeah there's something about playoffs all playoffs where like if you can get out of the depths of hell you become everything becomes a little bit easier right and i believe that if like the leafs would be the team to just like lay an egg in the first round but get get by based on skill and a few lucky bounces.

People forget you go back to game. I believe it was game three.
They lightning were up three, two, and there was a goal that was just lying in the middle between the goalies pads and the whistle shouldn't have gone. And the guy just went over and poked it in, but they'd blown the whistle.
So they should have been up four, two. So they should have lost that game.
And they're lucky to be where they are. And then if they got lucky again and all of a sudden rattled off four in a row, only four teams have done it because you're going to have to get a lot of bounces along the way too, man.
These games are tight. So as our resident Canadian, tell me, how would Canada react to Edmonton winning a Stanley Cup in terms of like would it just be like Edmonton Oilers fans that are really pumped or would it go all across the country where, you know, Flames fans, Senators fans? I don't know if Flames fans would be as excited.
I don't think hardcore ones. I think the rest of Canada would be excited.
I think they'd be happy for McDavid too because it's like the second coming of Gretzky, right? Yeah. Now, if it's on the other shoe and the Leafs manage to pull it out and they win the Stanley Cup, I'm pretty sure all of Canada would be pissed off at them, right? Yeah.
The Leafs are hated amongst a lot. It's like we joke around about the yacht club on the broadcast.
It's just like, you know, it's a lot of cake eaters in the bottom seats. Yeah.
They're sniffing counters and eating their shrimp and caviar in their boxes. There's like somebody, I think it was Colby Armstrong told me a story that they like created this VIP area for like during the games and they were charging like a $30,000 tag for the season and like they got like no buyers to it and then so they got back to the round table about this proposal and then one of the heads goes make it a hundred grand sign up and everyone's like what and they did it and then they sold it out yeah I love that because yeah if you're buying for a hundred thousand then boom that's like a status symbol right yeah oh yeah oh yeah so yeah i don't know i don't know if he pulled that story out of his ass or maybe it wasn't even him who told me but that's kind of how it is that's how it rolls there it still counts um all right biz this has been awesome i got one last question rowback question rhoback.com use code yo yo yo for 20 off your first purchase q-sips you sound like you're calling her a rapper or something q-sips polos hoodies can i just do the ad i'm just fine with you yeah use code take roback.com r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com.
Promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Shorts.
They got shorts coming for the summer. Okay.
We love having you on. I hope I did a good job of breaking down the whole league and what's going on.
You did. You did.
Great job. We love having you on.
You're the best because you talk the game, but in a way people can understand. I think that's why you've been so successful on TNT.
It's great to watch you every night. You like when I'm on the board? Yo, the board is awesome.
Right over your shoulder? Yeah. It's fucking sick.
More board? Yeah. More board.
So who do you have win it all right now? A lot of your fans just say, all I see is titties when they get that angle. Yeah.
There's a little bit. You could see it.
If you look hard enough, you could see it.

What's the question?

Who do you have win it all now?

After we've been through a full round and a half, pretty much.

Give us your winner.

Let's get behind the Leafs, man.

Let's see if they can go on this one.

No, come on.

Come on.

They're dead.

They're so dead, Biz.

I bet on them, too.

They're so dead.

And I want them to win, but they're dead. Can Seattle win it all? Yeah, I think Seattle could win it all.
Okay. Okay.
I would have my dark horse right now being down 2-1 to Carolina, but I would have bet it New Jersey down two. I still see something in New Jersey.
I might be dead wrong, but that's probably the dark horse

and best odds right now.

Aside from that, I would say Edmonton.

Okay.

Edmonton would be my safe money bet.

Okay.

Follow-up question.

What part of the country is New Jersey in?

I guess you would call it the northeast.

I guess so. Kind of the south though yeah what about seattle are you guys still hung up on me saying colorado's in the southern state so many people when i when i was talking about the chicago blackhawks being my favorite team in the west now we're like actually they're in the south pft i i i had some people that were defending me and wasn't there a line that came out on this map that people agree with me because of where some river is i don't but i'm the one who's got all the people uh in the mentions boosting me up no they were your fans no i know i'm saying like they're biz fans oh okay well they're our fans to hear that denver's in the South south and be like yeah biz is right that's you got to drink the kool-aid uh next time you talk to deon sanders ask him just say what do you think because he lives there now doesn't he definitely not say it's the south all right well then i'm gonna he just moved from mississippi so i'm pretty sure was in mississippi yeah atlanta no that's definitely that's tropical yeah um is jake marsh there yeah marsh is here yeah hey how about that call buddy we were buzzing on the broadcast a lot of fun oh my god oh we better next year now did you guys watch the broadcast i did i think i was i was there i was part of it i know he was there i was asking the rest of them i saw it i saw i saw jake um refer to a shot as a snipe and you really jumped down his throat on that was wit oh that was wit yeah wit was like i deserved it i like that criticism what about biz so watching that broadcast like wouldn't it be cool like those guys are so skilled but if you ever had like someone in in that game who you played with that that would be awesome.
Because then you get a different type of, like, intel. What do you mean? Like, a guy you might have played, like, in the minors with or something.
I did play with a guy. Oh, really? Oh, you didn't mention it on the broadcast.
Fuck off. Really? You're saying I mentioned it that many times? No, it was probably me more than him.
No, it was only like two or three times. Oh, Donahue, one of the best players.
I know it was Donahue. You know why? Marshy.
Marshy, this guy's trying to call me out. How many times did I say I played? I probably said it more than you, so you should be yelling at me, guy.
It stuck with me because he was so goddamn good. He was like their whole team.
He kept them in the game. He was their whole team.
Their whole team. Yeah, he was like LeBron.
Just jump on, boys. Yeah.
Oh, do you have anything on basketball playoffs? No. Okay.
I was talking basketball with Vince. The only thing I will say is, like, some people are questioning whether, like, Tatum, does Tatum have that dog in him? Some people are questioning him.
Good question. At the end of the game, he turtles.
Yeah, passes the ball.

So he does not have that dog in him?

He does.

Does he?

He's 25.

Okay, all right.

So I guess we're going to learn a lot in this run, right?

Are they up or down to the Sixers?

It's 2-2.

It's 3-2 now.

Oh, you want to make a prediction? No, either way it is.

Go ahead, Hank.

It's 3-2.

Yeah, but Hank, do you want to say who's up? 3-2? Yeah, Tatum just went for 40 tonight. Okay, so 3-2 Boston.
So he's got a little dog. Some would say that Hank may have just jinxed the entire playoffs by putting on a shirt of having Lucky the Leprechaun dunking on Ben Franklin.
That's just a cool shirt. It's not topical.
No, Biz, Biz, you can tell us who it is in hockey. My take with Tatum is he is a phenomenal, phenomenal player, and I think he is.
He gets talked about as a top five player. He does take over games at times.
I would like to see a little more aggression every now and then to be like, I am the best player on this court. This is my game.
So who's that in hockey? Who you'd like to see just a little bit more like, hey, you're the best out here. Like, go do it.
Well, I mean, I think it's Marner and Matthews. Yeah.
I've defended them, and I think they're incredible players. I think that they need to, yeah, they need to find that next level.
Right. And, yeah.
So it's not a knock that they're not exceptional players. It's more like, go find it.
And I don't think any of us want to be on the broadcast criticizing anyone, right? But at the end of the day, it's like, what went wrong? it's more like go find it yeah and i don't think any of us want to be on the broadcast criticizing anyone right but at the end of the day it's like what went wrong it's like well if the big dogs aren't being the big dogs and they they're making all the money and they want to be paid like big dogs it's like well who else do we blame yeah you know yeah so like and keep in mind like it's a hard cap league and and I think that if each of them were making 9.5

as opposed to 11.5 right now,

and they had that extra $4 million to go spend on some help,

I think it would be a lot more enjoyable.

Well, at least I would think so.

You look at Crosby, you look at the Patrice Bergeron,

you look at some of these guys, they left money on the table

because it's a hard cap league. So if you want to be paid like the big dog, you've got to play like the big dog.
I like it. All right.
So we'll see you tonight on TNT. PFT, you got to bark.
Marshy, what's your bark? Max, what's your bark? You just kicked dog i'm not no punted it like in uh what's the what's the anchorman anchorman but he punched every dog he sees he does that exactly like that oh hey come to speak of it i saw him walking in atlanta the other day who will ferrell. Oh, really? Yeah.
I didn't bug him. I wanted to, but I didn't.
What would you say? Let's reenact this. Let's retell the story, but you saw Will Ferrell and you did bug him.
What did you say? I would have said, okay, so you guys might laugh. I would have said this, but we were doing the TNT broadcast, and they kept putting him on, and he had the L.A.
King's face paint. So I would have just stopped him and say, hey, I do the TNT broadcast.
I said, we were laughing about you and the face paint with the Kings stuff. I thought that that would have been a soft opening.
And I stopped. But buddy, these people, could you imagine having to like, like get bothered like that all the time? No.
I just feel like the last thing he wants to do is get stopped right right now it looked like he was going for a nice power walk that plays though because you're kind of socks up to his knees he was just he had a nice little flow going but you're subtly letting him know like hey i'm not just like a random guy like i'm not a pigeon right pump his tires yeah saw you on the broadcast hey who knows maybe even like get him on for like a segment. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, I'm being, I'm being, I'm being, I'm being, I his tires, saw you on the broadcast.
Hey, who knows? Maybe even get him on for a segment. It'd be cool to get Snoop Dogg on for a segment.
The other night, it was a blowout, and Wayne was at the game in Vegas, so Wayne ended up jumping on. It was fun.
You get to talk. What's he seeing? It's cool.
It's cool to get the big boys on. Yeah, absolutely.
All right. Well, Biz, we've been enjoying the hell out of watching you on TNT.
Everyone go check it out. Get some rest.
I don't want you to work too hard. Yeah.
I'm done. I got tomorrow off.
This is the last thing I had to do. And I'd be lying if I didn't smoke a little before I came on, boys.
I know I was a bit of a chatterbox, but hey. I thought you just had a soda.
You said you had a Coca-Cola, and I was like, oh, that's classic.

Yeah, not the other stuff.

What was the last thing I was going to say?

You can't do that up that nose.

Hey, I know.

The one side's blocked.

Hey, bark's on the way out.

Got to be a big dog.

Team bark.

I want to hear that bark.

There we go. Paul Bissnet was brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage, our great friends over at Cross Country Mortgage.
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Okay, let's wrap up the show with some FAQs. Facts.
One of Max or Hank are going to be eliminated on Thursday night.

From recording this after?

This world?

Yeah.

Is that true?

Oh, I guess maybe not necessarily.

Go seven.

It's a best of three, right?

That's true.

I want it to go seven.

Hey, boys.

Hey.

Hey.

What's the one piece of yard work you're looking forward to doing now that you'll have a yard?

P.S.

This should be a Mount Rushmore.

I don't think so.

Yard work?

You don't like mowing the lawn, Hank?

I don't know if there's 12 items of yard work.

Yes, there is.

For sure.

There's a lot of yard work.

Seeding.

Edging.

I love edging.

I like raking leaves and then making a big fucking pile and then jumping in the pile. Weeding.
Weeding sucks. Weeding, but it's so satisfying.
But you need the little knee pad. I like just mowing the lawn.
Yeah. I've never experienced jumping in the leaves.
Oh, yeah. In Florida.
You have lizards that fall out of trees that you can put in a pile and jump in. Yeah.
Iguanas. Yeah.
I would say I'm looking forward to being able to open a door, and then I'm going to have a dog, and then I'm going to be like, go outside and use the yard. Yeah.
That's going to be sick. Why are you shaking your head, Max? We didn't even bring up that you hate dogs.
I know, but now it's just every time I hear a dog, I'm going to get roasted. That's a you problem.
Yeah, that's a you problem. No, that's a you problem.
You made it a you problem. That's a you problem.
You, you. No, you were the one.
You've created this narrative. Fact or fiction, I wasn't the one who did not pet the dog.
Fact or fiction, I was petting Brody the whole night. And there was one clip where I wasn't.
Underrated thing, cleaning out the gutters. Because then when they actually flow for real, you're like, oh, we got a problem here.
And then you get it. Nothing better.
You unjam the jam. You've cleaned out gutters? Yeah, I've cleaned out a gutters because then when they like actually flow for real you're like oh we got a problem here and then you get it nothing better you unjam the jam cleaned out gutters yeah i've cleaned out a gutter or even a uh drain like in your if you have like a patio or something and you need to clean out a drain clean out drains fucking rules the youtube video the guy that finds yes big the clog drains and and undrains them is electric way better better than Pimple Popper MD.
Exterminating like if there's a raccoon den. No, that doesn't sound fun.
No, but when you get them out, killing animals. Or if there's a beehive.
Or if there's a beehive. Or if there's a beehive.
Or if there's a beehive. Or if there's a beehive.
Or if there's a beehive. Or if there's a beehive.
Or if there's a beehive. Or if there's a beehive.
Or if there's a beehive. Yeah.
No, those don't sound brilliant. Letting a beehive on fire.
We're talking about yard work. We're talking about yard work, not becoming- Well, you got Defender.
Not becoming Hitler to a bunch of raccoons. Okay, okay.
Hold on. Come on, come on.
Come on, man. I was just talking about- Jeffrey Dahmer.
I was just talking about killing a raccoon family. Didn't have to take it there.
What's your favorite yard work? You know, mowing the lawn, weeding, murdering a bunch of animals. The basics.
Yeah. Leads us to the next one.
What's up, dudes? What's up? This might have been written by Billy. Wanted to ask a question my friends and I always ask people when we're hammered.
What is the biggest animal that each of you could kill with your bare hands? Good question. Just an FYI.
Kangaroos have been the most controversial answer. Love you guys.
No one could kill a kangaroo. I could absolutely kill a kangaroo.
Sub-adult black bear. Oh, my God.
You could choke out a kangaroo. Could absolutely kill.
All right, so. No.
You could choke out a kangaroo. A kangaroo would just run away.
You would have to. That's the problem.
Like, what about the legs? I've been criticized for this take, but I think I could take down a moose. No, definitely not a moose.
I do. I do.

No.

Moose are fucking diesel.

I don't care.

Have you ever seen a moose?

I don't care.

Have you seen a moose in person?

You're dead twice.

Yeah.

I'll jump on its back and just start fucking bashing its brains in.

You couldn't fit a moose in this room.

They're so tall.

Name an animal.

I could probably kill it.

Blue whale.

Yep.

Yeah, I could kill a blue whale.

It would just choke on me.

Yep.

Just dive right into its throat. Dive into its blowhole.
Name another animal. Do you think you'd kill a black bear? No problem.
Lion. Easy.
Hippo. Easy.
No, you can kill a fucking hippo, dude. Dude, hippos are dangerous.
I would fuck a hippo up. Iowan.
No, dude. Hippos can't even swim.
I'd wrestle to the bottom of the ocean. Drown it.
Hippos. A single hornet.
No, definitely not. The beauty of these is that you never have to actually prove it.
I think. So I just say that I can kill every animal and people like Billy get really upset.
The real answer. It's the best hypothetical ever.
I think I could kill any bird. Ostrich? Any bird, yes.
Actually, yeah. Yeah, you can snap and snack.
Yeah, punch it in the face. I mean, I agree i agree i could kill it there's not an animal i wouldn't know but literally i think i could kill any bird same yeah i could kill a moose prehistoric birds no okay i don't know what prehistoric birds are giant prehistoric like predator birds dude if you go low on a moose i think you could kill it does have wir does have wiry legs.
It's got skinny ankles. Yeah.
No, it would fucking do. No, but have you.
Okay. So I'm, I'm a, I know what big cat's doing, which is, I like what he's doing.
Yeah. Cause it's pissing off Billy.
Yeah. I like that.
It's really nothing that you can do to prove it. But the reality of the situation is if you, if you look at a moose charging at you, like it's a fullback and you're a wiry cornerback, and you just dive at its legs,

you break one of those tiny little toothpick legs,

and then we've got a horse racing situation on our hands

where that moose is going to end up-

Let's go step on its throat.

Yeah, I would just bring a tarp out and then euthanize.

Moose are the last megafauna in North America.

Okay, well, if they ever come across me, they're fucking dead.

They're mega fucked.

Yeah, I'd fuck a moose up so bad. Seriously, though, any bird I will kill gladly any bird.
What about a little cute bird on a moose two for one. There we go.
What were the things they invaded? It was like we have 40 wild hogs invading down.. That video where they're in the chopper just shooting them down.

That's easy for you? Easy.

Yeah, I guess

the question is, do you get a gun, too?

They didn't specify in this. Yeah.
Again,

this is... You said you would just beat a moose's

head. Yeah, I would.
This is the easiest

hypothetical ever because you can just say it

and then there's nothing that anyone can do.

Like, dude, I would love

I would love for a silverback gorilla to test me oh jesus christ billy's like they're probably listening right now they're gonna be so mad sup jabronies wanted to ask a quick question as we're getting into glizzy season i wanted to ask how big cat got into the nathan's hot dog eating contest oh yeah was there any preparation how'd you feel afterwards and the next day is billy going end of the contest, who would win in a hot dog eating contest. Oh, yeah.
Was there any preparation? How did you feel afterwards and the next day?

Is Billy going into the contest?

Who would win in a glizzy eating contest among the PMT crew?

So it was the guys who run it.

Really good guys.

No, not Nathan.

The Shays, right?

The Shays, yeah.

You hooked me up with them when I entered.

Yeah, great dude.

Yeah.

So there was a writer who what was his name plimpton plimpton james plimpton i want to say who would go and play uh like different sports and stuff maybe that's not his name plimpton is his name paper lion is that the guy who played for the detroit lions yeah he yeah he like played outfield and like a george plimpton so they were like we should have a george plimpton seat like someone from the media gets to be in it um yeah i trained by eating some hot dogs but no i was not you being in that contest like i was in awe i i've said this before but i think joey chesson is the greatest athlete of all time I don't think anyone could ever touch what he does it's so fucking hard Kobayashi he hasn't touched it right we need to see him head to head again whatever happened to that we were going to get Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi to do yeah rough and rowdy but for hot dogs yeah that would be sick Joey said he's down let's do it, it was, I ate 12 in 10 minutes and it was the most disgusted I've ever felt in my entire life. I felt like a sausage that was, you know, right before it gets popped for two days straight.
Couldn't shit either. Jesus.
So Joey Chestnut, he drinks after those. He like goes out.
Well, they, they, they poultry. No, he doesn't.
Haven't you seen the A Thousand Ways to Die a thousand ways to die well there's there's the there's a time window right afterwards where you can and cannot so like within i want to say 10 minutes after it's over if you throw up it's a reversal of fortune and you don't win anymore they disqualify you but then afterwards i don't know it's like whatever you want to do at that point i've been thinking about making the switch full-time to being a brat guy brats are so good i think i'm i think i'm off hot dogs this summer i think i'm brats only brats are so so good they're so good italian so good it's all pigs in a blanket but i i love hot dogs hot dogs are the best i know that they like cause cancer and they make you it's like smoking a pack of I don't care. I would rather live a year less with a million glizzies than the alternative.
I'd rather live on my feet than die on my knees. Yeah.
I think smoking a whole pack of cigarettes is cool. So that's not really an insult to me.
Eating a full hot dog is cool. Either way, it was a very cool experience.
I never would want to do it again because the other thing that happened was you get swept up in the moment and everyone's like, you got to dunk, you got to dunk. Eating mushed, like wet buns is the grossest texture ever.
So again, Joey Chestnut, all-time athlete. I'm going to revise my take because I realize it's grilling season.
I love a good hot dog from the grill. I don't like a pan hot dog.
I don't like a boiled hot dog. Give me the grilled hot dog.
I love a filleted hot dog on the grill. Just give me.
I want flame to have touched my hot dog. Pan can be good because you just put so much butter in it.
It's like a butter dog. Boiled far third.
That's the fattest thing you've ever said. Yeah.
Not even close, actually. I said way fatter.
Like a boiled dog at a game, though? Yeah. At a game.
At a game, it's different. At home, it's gross.
But even that, I would rather... Wash it down with the water? Like a hot dog on the grill or on the flat top at a game with onions and peppers.
Oh, so good. They're good, but my favorite time to have a hot dog on the grill or on the flat top at a game with onions and peppers.

Oh, so good.

They're good, but my favorite time to have a hot dog is at a baseball game.

Yeah, but they have non-boiled dogs.

I feel like they're more than boiled dogs.

If you're sitting in your seat.

Yeah.

But I'm talking about getting up.

Okay.

Yeah, those are the best.

Smell those onions?

God.

Hot dogs out in the bleachers at Wrigley. Fucking best hot dogs ever.
Hey, boys. Will the whole crew be heading to Chicago office? I feel like the only ones who have been talking about moving slash finding a place have been Big Cat, PFT, and Hank.
Yeah. So, just going to get out with it.
I will be moving to chicago uh kind of in denial about it didn't really want to talk about on the show because it sucks to think about and i'm pretty much in denial um did you write a statement uh yeah i have a statement is it on notes app yeah it's on notes app uh by the way we had a verbal notes app we've obviously known for a while. Billy was very much much invited So it wasn't anything like that But Billy if you want to Do you want one of us to read the notes app? Does that make it easier? It definitely would make it easier for Billy Why don't I read it? And to be fair to Billy The only reason he hasn't been verbalizing it Is because he just like he, he's in denial and he doesn't want to admit it because when he admits it, then it becomes

real.

Right.

So it's real now, Billy.

And we knew, Billy, it wasn't a huge problem that you didn't admit it out loud because

we all kind of knew how your brain works.

And you're like, maybe like July will never actually happen.

Billy would just use his last animal fact at the end of the last year to be like, some animals don't move to Chicago. Yeah, let me just...
Do you want us to read it? You got it. Trying not to cry.
I believe in you, Billy. I am also trying not to cry.
All right, I accomplished that. It sucks to say there are various parts of my life that I keep private that impacted this decision.

I hope you guys respect the decision.

Please just remember that I am the only one who can weigh all the factors that impact my life.

I will be hanging around on PMT until July and will be blogging and on Macrodosing.

I ask people to please respect my privacy in regards to the situation.

Look, I wish this was not the case, but it's the reality of the situation.

And then I have another speech that I realized would be better for the last time I'm on the episode.

Oh, okay.

Do you have any pictures in there?

No.

I like that you wrote the speech and added look.

Yes.

Like, look, guys.

Billy, we will miss you in Chicago.

We got your back.

I know that you have-

I don't think people are going to give you that much shit.

It's a big boy decision. You made a decision.
you got you got other other things that you're working on and uh it's everyone's decision so don't stress yeah you're good everything's gonna work out i what i tell you though and i think this is like something for everyone who's listening whatever decision you make in life whatever it is there will be some regrets and some positives on any decision. There's no anyone's like live with no regrets.
There's nothing that you can make. If you have a big life decision, there will be small part of you that regrets some piece of it.
That will always be the case. But you just keep moving forward.
I also think a lot of people that listen to the show sometimes will like to do, you know, backseat driving on other people's decisions. And it's like, no one knows what's best for you.
Correct. Other than you.
And obviously you're making the decision that you have to make. And we fully support you.
Yep. Like there was, it's not, you know, I don't think you should be ashamed.
I don't think anyone should give you shit. I mean, you guys are going to do amazing out there and it's going to provide so much more opportunities for you guys to like, not that you're, you guys aren't at a level but you're going to literally like take it to like space level space like you guys are just hovering you guys are flying right now but we're going to go to space i love it like literally go to outer space it's going to be such a fertile environment for creating amazing content and i'm going to get so much fomo and i wish the best for you guys and uh i this now i'm dipping into my last episode oh okay yeah well hold on let's just let's just leave some decision leave some of course you'll have a little fomo but like i said i mean every every decision there's there's pros and cons of every decision no any no one has ever made a decision in their life been like that was 100 the best thing ever without any like hey what about that part oh yeah maybe i regret that a little i think especially with billy as someone who also started here super young it's like people were exposed to billy when he was a kid basically and now he's an adult so it's like things a lot of things change in those whatever six or seven years it's not i don't think people should be like i don't know that's just something that i went through myself where it's like i don't want people to treat me the way they treated me when i was 19 because i'm an older person making different decisions yep well said hank very well so so billy people will still be able to see you on barstool yes i'm not trolling i'll be around all right we watched billy go through puberty it's a wonderful thing I was pretty far past puberty I know I was joking I'll say one thing about Billy He does goodbyes as well as anybody I still remember when Billy went to college The first time and then on our way out It was like the last day that we recorded with Billy in the studio And he pulled pulled each of us aside separately and gave us a heartfelt speech about, like, good luck out there.
I can't wait to see what you guys accomplish. It was very touching, Billy, and I'm sure you'll have a great one for us at the end of your run here on PMT.
Yeah. What if the Jets win a Super Bowl? Well, also, remember those factors that only I could weigh? I kind of want to be in New York to watch Aaron Rodgers.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just one of the low... You're going to be his best one.
It's on the list. I mean, it's not high up there.
Like, major reason. We will never get to see Aaron Rodgers play football again in Chicago.
That's, yeah, that's hard. And, yeah, probably not.
Do they have it on TV? Next year?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

No, but I heard it.

Do we have the YouTube sign up yet?

No, that was a little bit of a joke.

I will be under a lot of Jets games, though. Yeah, but it would be funny if they won the Super Bowl.

Yeah, and I was here for it.

But not on the show.

Or in Vegas.

Or in Vegas.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, Hank. Wait.
Well, no, I'm saying like if you were like being here for the Super Bowl. Yeah.
You'd want to be you'd want to be in Las Vegas. Oh, for the Super Bowl.
For the Super Bowl. If the Jets will be there, get to the Super Bowl.
No, that's not a real reason why I'm big. No, I know.
I know you're joking. But we will will miss you, Billy.
And we stand behind you for anyone who's giving you shit, which I think people will be cool about it. I actually do.
Hopefully. Any others? There was one quick story.
This is funny. This is more not FAQ, but it was a funny story, funny anecdote.
Last week, my team was traveling from Toronto to a charity hockey tournament in pennsylvania raised 4.8 million dollars for cancer patients and families shout out to this hockey tournament uh long story short being that air canada is airline from hell pierce and airport as a whole is a shit show they wouldn't let us check our hockey bags because we didn't get to the airport three hours before the flight after fighting with the entire air canada staff saying if our team doesn't make it there for puck drop it's going to be a shit show and would fuck up six months of raising money and hard work keep it short one guy on my team was like what if we just go in full equipment through security and on the plane and we don't have to check anything in so that's what they did and they sent a bunch of pictures of their they're just in full hockey that rocks are they wearing theates? Are you allowed to wear hockey ice skates onto a plane?

I don't think so.

I can't imagine you can.

Can you bring hockey sticks?

But the pictures are funny.

I think you have to check the hockey bag with the sticks in it.

I don't think you can have a hockey stick on a plane.

Sounds like a no.

Yeah, you probably can't.

No, you can.

No, I don't think so.

You can't bring a bat on a plane, can you? It's a weapon. You could be used as a weapon.
You, you probably can't. No, you can.
No, I don't think so. You can't bring a bat on a plane, can you?

It's a weapon.

You could be used as a weapon.

You can bring exacto knives on planes again.

Not really.

Again?

Yeah.

Damn.

They reversed.

Actually, I may be lying about that.

Yeah.

I feel like that would be the last one that they would reverse.

Yeah.

Specifically that one.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah.

Okay.

Should we do the lottery ball? Yeah. Specifically that one.
Yes, exactly. Yeah.
Okay. To do the lottery ball.
Yeah. Have you ever gotten it? Yeah.
No, you haven't. I got it last night.
Oh, with the Blackhawks. Yeah.
Kind of. Yeah.
Except those weren't, you know. No, that doesn't count.
TSA in the US allows knives with blades that are 2.36 2.36 inches or less in length and carry-on baggage. Wow.
But think about how small X-Acto blades are. Number 17.
I think they go further. 18.
99. Do you want it? No, the system is illegal.
The system is illegal. Why is it illegal? Because Big Cat controls.
There's literally physically impossible. No, you've been doing it every single time.
No, I haven't. You guys have colluded so that I can't pick 17.
That was not collusion. We were just talking.
I just said it. I'll give it a beat.
You could have 17. I'll give it a beat from now on.
Fair. All right.
You said I could have 17. Thank you.
Do you want it? Yeah. Okay.
That was stupid of you. What were you going to guess? You have to tell me what you're going to guess.
No, three is not in there. So what were you going to guess? 101.
Oh, you motherfucker. All right.
I'll take six. I'll take 20.
I want to get 17 so bad. Same.
On his face. What was your number? 99.
Nice. Nice pick.
PFT. Four.
You were so close to three. You were so close to three.
I would have picked six. Lonnie Walker.
I know you would have picked six. You're on six or 17.

There's another one.

Oh.

There's a couple more.

Yeah, you should keep jumping around, Hank. Yeah.

That's smart.

Moron.

It's worked this far.

Love you guys.

Geese fly in a V-shaped formation because it reduces wind resistance. Take on me, take me on I'll be on the day I'll take I'm fearless to say, I won't say that But I need some love for For the new life is okay Save me Please be better to be safe than someone Save me Please be better to be safe than someone Take on me Take me on

I'll be your

An adapter

All the things that you say

And these little lies

Just to blame those worries

And all the things I've got to remember

And you shine, you know

And all the things I've got to remember

And you shine, you know Thank you. Take on me Take me up I'll be gone In a day I'll be gone in a day.