Browns HC Kevin Stefanski, Billy’s Jets Project Is Finally Here, Lamar Franchise Tagged + Guys On Chicks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com. On today's part of my take, we have Cleveland Browns head coach Kevin Stefanski.
Our last interview from the Indie Combine. Great interview with Coach Stefanski.

Speaker 1 We gave him some good ideas that I think Browns fans will be seeing in a playbook soon.

Speaker 1 We are going to talk about Lamar getting non-exclusive franchise tagged. Aaron Rodgers flying out, or sorry, Woody Johnson's flying out to California to meet with Aaron Rodgers.
We have Billies,

Speaker 1 Jets,

Speaker 1 what are we calling it? Dissertation? Yeah. It's your dissertation.

Speaker 6 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it's your senior project.

Speaker 1 We will go through that. He's got a slideshow.
He's giving us a laminated

Speaker 1 paper here. This is great.

Speaker 7 Four months in the work?

Speaker 1 Yeah, four months in the work. We have hot seat, seat, cool throne.
We have guys on chicks. Great Wednesday show for you.

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Speaker 1 let's go.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, March 8th, and Lamar Jackson is officially out to be had.

Speaker 7 Non-exclusive franchise tag. That's interesting, big cat.

Speaker 1 That's very interesting. Brian Jr.
Windhorse.

Speaker 7 Brian Windhorse meme. Now, why would they do that? Because the Ravens actually just released a statement, essentially being like, hey, sorry to Ravens fans.
We fucked this up.

Speaker 7 Where they're saying, now, don't let the franchise tag fool you. We're still hopeful that we can negotiate a long-term extension

Speaker 1 for Lamar.

Speaker 7 Which they're probably going to still try to do.

Speaker 1 They're protecting themselves. So the non-exclusive franchise tag, for anyone who doesn't know, it means that anyone else can make an offer sheet to Lamar Jackson.
The Ravens have the right to match.

Speaker 1 If the Ravens do not want to match, that team gets to sign Lamar Jackson, but then they forfeit their next two first-round picks to the Ravens.

Speaker 7 Correct. Now, the Ravens also could have put the exclusive franchise tag on Lamar Jackson, which would have been, I want to say, $6 million more.
Yeah. But they're not doing that.

Speaker 7 So if you're the Ravens GM and you truly believe that you're going to re-sign Lamar Jackson to a long-term deal as the negotiation moves forward, wouldn't you make it a non-exclusive?

Speaker 7 Or wouldn't you make it an exclusive franchise tax? You'd think so. I certainly would.

Speaker 7 I can report exclusively via Leroy that the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills will not be pursuing Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 1 As well as the Bengals. Add that to the list.

Speaker 7 The Bengals are on the list as well.

Speaker 7 The Seawards will also not be pursuing Lamar Jackson. Interesting.
So we've got those locked up. Yes.
Oh, the Cleveland Browns also will not be pursuing Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 7 So that basically just leaves the Commanders, and that's it. Yeah.
So future Commander Lamar Jackson, I refuse to let Schefter beat me on. Wouldn't that be just so poetic

Speaker 7 if Shefty was pulling a double prank on us? Yes. And was actually leaking us true information, then saying it was a fake? I am delusional and I'm a very sad, broken man.

Speaker 7 I'm realizing this as I'm saying it out loud. I'm hoping it happens.
I am so, I'm pathetic. I'm hoping for his future.
I am a pathetic, well, my future too.

Speaker 7 I told Hank to put that future in. Hank graciously accepted splitting it up with me.

Speaker 3 Oh, nice. So when I put it in the sports book, sometimes if I put in 500 and it said

Speaker 3 put in like 350 and send 150 for approval. So I'm going to sell PFT to 350.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Keep the 150.
Nice.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 the difference PFT in the exclusive and non-exclusive is bigger than that. It's $12 million.
So

Speaker 1 if Lamar Jackson signs the non-exclusive franchise tag, he makes $32.4 million this year. If they had done the exclusive tag on him, it would have been $45 million.

Speaker 1 But that's a pretty big difference.

Speaker 7 If you're confident that you can reach a place where you'll have an extension, then I would imagine the extension would be in the neighborhood of $45, $50 million a year. Correct.

Speaker 7 So you would probably put that tag on him instead of the lesser amount and then leave the option for him to get signed by somebody else. Yes.
Yes. Now,

Speaker 7 there are questions about Lamar, whether or not he'll ever get back to that MVP level.

Speaker 1 He's had some injuries, and his butt hurts all the time. Well, the Ravens do have an F- in strength coaching.

Speaker 7 What about this? What about trading the Commander's A-plus strength and conditioning coach to the Ravens for Lamar Jackson?

Speaker 1 Again,

Speaker 7 I'm just a sad, sorry individual.

Speaker 1 Under that deal, you'd have to take the F-.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd have to take the Ravens strength and conditioning coach.

Speaker 7 That's fine. Okay.
Mix him up with that field that we have in Landover That's like

Speaker 1 oh, there's a lot of things that could be this breaking moves.

Speaker 3 A quarterback just signed a four-year deal worth $160 million. Sources say with $35 million more in upside, they are finalizing.

Speaker 1 Is that Daniel Jones?

Speaker 7 It is Daniel Jones. It is.
And it was first reported by Hoomst.

Speaker 3 I'm seeing Mike Garifolo.

Speaker 1 Wrong, Leroy.

Speaker 7 Leroy broke that shit 45 minutes ago. Suck my dick, Schefter.
Damn. Leroy, my dead dog beat Leroy.
That's one. If we're updating the counter, Leroy won.
Adam Schefter zero.

Speaker 1 Zero, yeah. Yeah.
All right. Good for Daniel Jones.
I feel like that was what was it?

Speaker 1 Can you give us the

Speaker 1 turn to Leroy?

Speaker 3 Is they're nearing an agreement on a four-year contract extension upwards of $150 million. Bark, bark, bark.

Speaker 1 I am a dog.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite time of year. We get to just do a quick refresher.
The initial tweet that anyone tweets about a contract is always just fake money. So what was it, Hank? What was the listed one?

Speaker 1 I love when agents text Schefter or Rapaport and they're like,

Speaker 1 here's the deal. And then they look into it after the initial tweet.
And it's like, oh, they actually just signed him to like a $50 million contract and they can cut him after half a season.

Speaker 3 RapRaport says four-year deal worth $160 million with $35 million more in upside.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that could be anything. That could be a two-year deal for $50 million.

Speaker 7 There was also some ambiguity about the Derek Carr deal. Derek Carr had a similar situation where he signed a new contract, I think, what, last year? Yeah.
And then how much was actually guaranteed?

Speaker 7 How much was just on paper?

Speaker 7 Yeah, don't trust the first reports because that's there are agents that have contacts with Schefter, with Rapaport, and they're just trying to get the splash out there of like, look how much money I got for my client.

Speaker 1 Right. And Gino signed as well.

Speaker 1 The Derek Carr deal, because that did happen on Monday and we didn't talk about it on Sunday night.

Speaker 1 That,

Speaker 1 listen, if you're a Saints fan, I guess you're like, hey, it's better than what we've been going through, but doesn't it feel like the ceiling for Derek Carr and the Saints is like maybe a second-round loss?

Speaker 7 Well, we've definitely got the new era of the Carson Wentz versus Dak Prescott debate already set up and ready to go for us, and that's Daniel Jones and Derek Carr.

Speaker 7 Now will be tied in because of they're got, they got essentially the same contract. Right.
And so which one would you rather have at this point?

Speaker 1 I guess maybe Daniel Jones because he's younger. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That would probably be the argument.

Speaker 7 I would say Derek Carr would be better on the Giants. Daniel Jones would be better on the Saints.
Actually, no, the Saints with Sean Payton. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then that would be a deal, bro.

Speaker 7 Then he's like Turbo Taysom Hill.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But yeah, so we're starting the, we're inching towards a free agent period.

Speaker 1 We have Aaron Rodgers getting courted by the Jets. I also did reach out to Aaron Rodgers and I said, I just want to let you know you're going to love New York City.

Speaker 1 If you need any recommendations, I'd be happy to help. That's just friends looking out for friends.

Speaker 7 That's nice.

Speaker 1 I feel like that was gracious of me.

Speaker 7 That's very nice.

Speaker 1 He's not responded. I don't think he will ever respond, but I made the offer.

Speaker 7 It is funny to think that Woody Johnson, so he's going out there with Sala, with Nathaniel Hackett, who is the Aaron Rodgers whisperer 0 for 1 on whispering to Aaron Rodgers, and the team president.

Speaker 7 And we've speculated would Aaron Rodgers want to play for Woody Johnson of Johnson ⁇ Johnson Pharmaceuticals of that family.

Speaker 7 But they're probably going to, that's going to be a little icebreaker they have to get through right off the bat. Yes.
Tell me me what's really in the jab.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, that's definitely the question is gonna be had.

Speaker 1 All right, so other things. I did see there was more news about John Morant and like things, so he might be under investigation now because of having a firearm on the plane.

Speaker 1 Also, potentially Denver's investigating whether he was legally allowed to have it there. We also had a story come out that Stephen Adams had a players-only meeting where he took John Morant.

Speaker 1 He basically told the whole team, we have to stop partying on the road. The Grizzlies are a bad road team this year, and essentially was singling out John Morant without singling him out.

Speaker 1 That actually speaks poorly to John Morant's ability to change because I feel like if Stephen Adams tells you not to do something, you should listen.

Speaker 7 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I'm terrible. He's one of the scariest guys in the world.
And if he's like, you know, maybe you can give us an Australian accent, but been like, Josh, stop fucking around.

Speaker 7 Boy, I'm from New Zealand.

Speaker 1 New Zealand.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Same thing. But yeah, that Ja Morant.
I wish I hadn't known that part when I was saying I was behind John Morant because

Speaker 1 Stephen Adams being like, stop fucking around, Ja speech should be the moment where he changes.

Speaker 7 That's probably why he got a gun, was to protect himself from Stephen Adams.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Although that thing isn't going to stop Stephen.

Speaker 1 No, definitely. Ja Mite.

Speaker 7 What are you? 12, 13 years old? Yeah. Let's act like a proper NBA player, huh?

Speaker 7 Leave the peace at home if you're going to go out with the mites, see a couple birds, some chillers at the TD bar.

Speaker 7 Leave your gun at home, Mike.

Speaker 1 I think you nailed it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 That was an exclusive interview with Stephen Adams. I feel bad because we absolutely dropped the ball in our John Morant analysis that we talked about on the last show.

Speaker 7 We did not anticipate the very obvious take that Skip Bayless was going to have in reaction to this. Skip Bayless, he discussed this at length.

Speaker 7 Skip Bayless's problem with the John Morant video was he was going out celebrating after a loss.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 7 If you're going to be flashing a strip club or you're flashing a strip club gun, you should do it maybe after you beat the Clippers, not after you give up 135 points to the Clippers

Speaker 1 in a road loss. Fair point, Skip.

Speaker 7 Again, I take I sometimes it's refreshing to me knowing that as much as we like to think that we can get inside Skip Bayless's head, he's always three steps ahead of us.

Speaker 1 Oh, easily, easily, yeah. So that,

Speaker 1 and I actually kind of agree with him. Yeah, that and the gun was way too small.

Speaker 7 If it's comically small, it should be a celebration gun, not a despair gun. Right.

Speaker 1 Although, despair gun,

Speaker 1 maybe, actually, it'd be funny if the despair gun was like a Civil War musket. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, like, look at this thing.

Speaker 1 I'm bringing a musket, like, a musket in a strip club doesn't fit. No.
It's like, I'm so sad I need my musket. Yeah, that would be...

Speaker 7 That'd be way funnier. Yeah.
I always love it when...

Speaker 7 Police agencies and departments, they release pictures of guns that they've confiscated, and they always look like they're from the year 1912. Yes.
And then people pile on, and it's like, get this.

Speaker 7 A, I'll be having that gun out of my face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's the John Moran. I don't know the next.
I feel like he's going to get suspended, right? I guess he has. Well, no, he's two days himself.

Speaker 7 He's taking some time away to deal with his gun addiction, and then they'll probably figure out a way. Well, now the real issue is local authorities in Colorado are actually investigating it.

Speaker 7 So if he gets convicted or indicted for a gun gun crime, there'll probably be something that comes down from Silver. Silver hates this, by the way.
Silver wants to be the cool guy.

Speaker 7 He wants to be the cool substitute teacher. He wants to be the cool stepdad.
Like, hey, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything.

Speaker 7 So whenever he asks to actually be the heavy, he absolutely, he cannot stand that.

Speaker 3 Well, Mello, a clip resurfaced from Million Dollars Worth of Game Interviewing Mello, and he said that when he was... Coming into the league, David Stern had a meeting with him.

Speaker 3 He was like, we know who you're hanging out with. We know what they're doing.

Speaker 1 Like, we're watching you.

Speaker 3 And if you don't change, like, this is going to be a problem. Just like, but he was like, I had no idea.
And he basically told me the people I was with and what they're doing. And, like, I had to,

Speaker 3 like, because, and he was like, yeah, it made sense because if you're investing millions and millions of dollars into someone, you want to know what they're doing.

Speaker 1 But that's where there's probably a difference between oh, yeah, Adam Silver wants to be everyone's friend. Yeah, yeah, no, that's absolutely true.
And he's like partners with everyone, which is fine.

Speaker 1 Like, I understand we're in a lot better of a player empowerment age, but David Stern, like, I don't know. That probably makes sense to be like, hey, like, young guys with a lot to lose.

Speaker 1 Here's what you have to lose. This is what you should probably do so you don't lose it.

Speaker 7 You have to have the overbearing, like, angry, militant dad, and then the crunchy granola mom. Yeah.
It takes a good guy, good cop, bad cop.

Speaker 1 They should make it like the, you know, the old trope when a parent catches a kid smoking a cigarette, they make them smoke an entire pack. They should make John Morant drive around in only a tank.

Speaker 1 See how that is. See how you like traffic in a tank, bro.

Speaker 7 Well, tell you what, we're going to give you a B2 stealth bomber, and you have to fly it from location to location. Oh, you only are.

Speaker 1 Oh, you like weaponry, John? Fully armed. Okay, bro.
Let's see if, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's see if you can deal with fucking L.A. traffic when you're playing the Clippers in a Sherman.

Speaker 7 Yeah, load up a Mark 82 on that wing.

Speaker 7 How bad do you think Adam Silver was dreading making the call to Giannis to tell him, hey, that triple-double is not going to count.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Stat padding is hot in the streets right now.

Speaker 7 He definitely had somebody make that call for him.

Speaker 1 Yes, stat padding is hot in the streets. People arguing it.
I did watch an old clip. Rasillo actually sent it to me of

Speaker 1 Russell Westbrook stat padding, and it is so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 He was just passing up like five-foot bunnies to try to get another assist.

Speaker 1 Like, like, literally going to the rim hard, and then at the last second, just throwing it, kicking it out to a guy who wasn't wasn't even ready to take a three just hoping that he could get that last assist yeah yeah i mean he that that one season where he was just averaging a triple double was unreal but in retrospect looking back on it like i was fascinated by triple doubles then

Speaker 1 if there was no such thing as a bad triple double and they're really that's kind of like give or take a little bit right now but they're definitely they're not all built the same and i also kind of respect in retrospect uh russell westrick being like yeah my team's not very good i'm gonna get me yeah And I'm just going to go out there and do it for myself.

Speaker 7 Couldn't you also say that playing with poor shooters makes it easier for you to get rebounds? Yeah. So the worst your teammates are, if you give them bad passes,

Speaker 7 then you can get good rebounds.

Speaker 1 Get that out of the way.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Oh, speaking of strip club guys, we should, because we make fun of them all the time. James Harden.
James Harden had 20 assists last night. Yeah.
He did. Is James Harden fully back?

Speaker 1 The Pacers, that game was

Speaker 1 in like the 140s.

Speaker 1 James Harden future houston rocket which is it feels like the uh the quiet secret that everyone in the nba circles are talking about that he just wants to go back to houston which is very funny because it's like yeah he's philly strip clubs max and philly are just not cutting it they're just not it okay

Speaker 1 you hear me max yeah there's a lot of season left we'll see what happens no no no no the strip clubs you gotta up your strip club game a little bit if you want to attract top line that would be so funny if if a team i mean james harden's on the tail end of his career but but like maybe five years ago, like a mayor was like, we're opening a new strip club.

Speaker 1 Well, even for you, James.

Speaker 7 Even better than that, teams should open up their own strip clubs.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 Like the next Mark Cuban, the next young owner that comes into the league, they should set up their own strip club that's next to the team facility, and then you just stock them with the best dancers, free alcohol for all your players.

Speaker 1 What about to court John Morant? It's just a strip club laser tag. There you go.
That would be perfect. You wouldn't want to go to a strip club laser tag?

Speaker 7 I would. That actually is a.

Speaker 1 How do we not have that combo? I would have to. They did KFC and Taco Bell together.
Yeah. How do we not have a strip club laser tag?

Speaker 7 Dave and Busters mixed with a whorehouse.

Speaker 1 Dude, playing laser tag with naked women, now we're just describing Dan Bilzerian's house. Yeah, that is.

Speaker 1 We've gone to the deep, deep parts of our brains. Yep.

Speaker 7 All right. I would sign with that team.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And a heartbeat.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm not even that horny.

Speaker 5 Hey, what's going on there, pal?

Speaker 7 We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after you.

Speaker 1 Not a big deal.

Speaker 5 Pink Whitney?

Speaker 9 That's what I thought.

Speaker 7 See you, fellas.

Speaker 1 I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.
Speaking of deep parts of our brain, Billy, are you ready? So,

Speaker 1 for anyone who doesn't know what's about to happen, Billy has, he has a theory that New York quarterbacks, this was, I think, somewhere in the late part of the the season when he was just trying to grasp at anything for Zach Wilson to not be one of the biggest busts of all time.

Speaker 1 He was like, well, it's actually the media's fault. So we said, why don't you dig in on that?

Speaker 1 Why don't you try to find some facts how the New York media is actually at fault for the Jets' poor quarterback play?

Speaker 1 And you have landed on a report that is titled Jets Landing New Veteran QB. How can the New York Media Learn from the Past and Not Hamper QB play?

Speaker 1 So you're actually taking the the entire media to task. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Specifically. The written copy has a different title.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 7 that was going to be my first question. The written copy is how the New York Media Ruins Jets quarterbacks.
Several case studies. Several.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Several.
The full case studies are in those pamphlets.

Speaker 7 And I do love how you're just, you're titling it by Billy.

Speaker 1 By Billy. Yes.
By Billy. Okay.
All right. So let's hop into it because I have some questions.

Speaker 1 And yeah, take us away.

Speaker 1 Also, if you're watching on YouTube, we will have the slides so you can follow along. So go subscribe to YouTube and like the video.

Speaker 6 Max, we get that full screens, please. Okay.

Speaker 1 Wow, that would have been bad if we didn't have it full screen.

Speaker 1 The text gets a little smaller points. Okay.

Speaker 1 And let's, I mean, I'm not saying go fast, but let's go. Yeah, we'll keep it quick.

Speaker 1 So next slide.

Speaker 6 Basically, why do some quarterbacks,

Speaker 6 and we're taking a look at quarterbacks back in the past 15 years, so since Brett Favre is all our case studies, okay.

Speaker 6 Basically, there is a common pattern of Jets quarterbacks playing badly, and then once they leave, having some sort of success or also some a lack of negative portrayal in the media.

Speaker 1 Okay, so who has had success?

Speaker 6 We can get into that because I'm going

Speaker 1 to threw my brain.

Speaker 1 I hope Geno isn't the case because it took him like 10 years.

Speaker 6 Brett Favre had a comparatively better season.

Speaker 1 He did. He went to the NFC Championship game.

Speaker 7 Do you think that was the evil New York media that went after Brett Favre?

Speaker 6 Or did he went after them in a weird way?

Speaker 1 Or do you think it was his injury in week 11 that year? Yes. Okay.

Speaker 6 Sanchez is an outlier.

Speaker 1 We'll talk about that. And then he sucked elsewhere? Yes.
Okay. But also, he did decently well.

Speaker 1 I think we have multiple.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 Good point. And then we have Sam Darnold who has not done well.

Speaker 1 Not

Speaker 1 done better. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 7 I'd say

Speaker 7 he was not awful in a couple games.

Speaker 6 But also, we're not hearing how terrible he is anymore.

Speaker 7 Maybe that's because he's not in the New York media.

Speaker 1 And he also didn't play half the season.

Speaker 6 Right, but when he did play.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 Sam Darnold is not better. Okay.

Speaker 6 He is arguably a little better.

Speaker 1 Comparatively. His last game, week 18 for the Panthers, he was 5 for 15 with two interceptions and 43 yards.

Speaker 7 He had some other good games, though.

Speaker 1 He had some other game.

Speaker 1 One game where he had 340 yards and three touchdowns.

Speaker 7 Yep, there we go.

Speaker 6 We don't know

Speaker 6 the end of the Sam Darnold story.

Speaker 1 He's working for us. That's true.
We don't know the end of it. Yep.
Okay. His completion percentage was 58%.

Speaker 7 He has not contracted mononucleosis since leaving the New York Chess.

Speaker 1 And again, we probably didn't hear from him because he only played the last six weeks of the season.

Speaker 7 So this is what I think. Okay.
This is my thesis.

Speaker 6 Next slide, Max.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 6 The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks' performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Okay.

Speaker 6 Amplification of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers, leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base, ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterback's confidence in the given situation.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 7 It's a real chicken or the egg situation.

Speaker 7 Do they suck because of the media, or does the media report on them sucking or because brett favor got hurt that year when they wrote jets were eight and three when also was spamming dick pigs yes we don't mention that next slide

Speaker 6 why is new york different than other markets it is the media capital of the world okay it has 11 major sports teams most in north america has two national newspapers based out of here new york times washington post or counting the islanders in that wall street journal and fuck the new york times yeah for that article that we'll maybe do a monday reading on like why people don't want to date podcast bros it's a major location of cable news networks this one's the most interesting the city layout is built in a pre-automobile era that's what i'm interested in i want i want to know how that impacts the jets quarterbacks i love it i love it who all live in new jersey right but they do frequent new york okay which is a very walkable city got it and they go there for entertainment okay

Speaker 6 so the part with here why don't we we can we can deconstruct it because it's a little too organized oh yeah yeah oh yeah basically

Speaker 7 we're deconstructing long been my critique of Billy.

Speaker 1 We're deconstructing.

Speaker 1 He's too detail-oriented. Basically,

Speaker 6 there's several reasons. The media is always

Speaker 6 because there's more members of the media, there's less of an interpersonal relationship between athletes and reporters.

Speaker 6 And there's more reporters, which are all competing for different stories, causing more leaves to be

Speaker 6 more leaves to be flipped over and smaller stories to become bigger headlines.

Speaker 6 So you can repeatedly see,

Speaker 6 we can fast fast forward a little bit to the, let's say, Brett Favre slide.

Speaker 7 Wait, before we get to Brett Favre, can I stop you for one second? Yeah. What's the limitation in this study?

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, we should probably bring that up. There's some ethical concerns with the study.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 You use monkeys like Elon Musk?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 6 just Jets quarterbacks. So going back, basically, it's a lot of,

Speaker 6 how do we say it?

Speaker 6 Non-numeric data.

Speaker 1 Anecdotal.

Speaker 7 You also anecdotal Anecdotal is the word you're looking for.

Speaker 1 You also said

Speaker 1 there are more snakes in New York.

Speaker 1 Was that some Kyrie shit you're on? No, no, that's a quote from another. All right.

Speaker 1 That's a quote from a... No, no, no.
No, that's a quote from a

Speaker 6 thing is that it's not that New York has more snakes in the grass. Talking about reporters.

Speaker 6 No, it doesn't have worse snakes in the grass, just more snakes in New York.

Speaker 7 What about this entire three-page section on the Rothschild family?

Speaker 6 No, that's not there. That's not there.

Speaker 7 So the publisher, check the blog online.

Speaker 1 So the George Soros

Speaker 1 were taking out.

Speaker 1 No, that wasn't in there.

Speaker 6 That wasn't in there at all.

Speaker 1 There's just more snakes in Williams. Williamsberg is what Billy's trying to say.

Speaker 6 No, next, next kick. Okay, wait.

Speaker 1 We might have gotten him off his game. This classic New York media boss.
Yeah, I have no idea where you want me to be right now.

Speaker 6 I don't know either.

Speaker 1 You told me to go to Brett Favre, and then nothing happened from Brett Favre. No.
Also, Brett Favre did get hurt in week 11. I think that part is just like.

Speaker 6 No, there was actually, there was a really interesting article about how New York was.

Speaker 7 He was a UCL injury, wasn't he? He was his elbow.

Speaker 1 They were 8-11, and then they missed the playoffs. They lost to Chad Pennington and the Dolphins in the last game of the season.

Speaker 1 I was there. You were? Yeah.
Wow. The old medal announcer.

Speaker 7 Are you one of those snakes?

Speaker 1 That was my Hanukkah president. Oh,

Speaker 1 Billy, get him up. Lock him up.
No, no, no.

Speaker 6 No, there's a really good New Yorker article that Will Leitch wrote actually a year ago about how New York used to be the place to be for athletes to want to sign.

Speaker 6 The money was there, the market was there, but basically the media has become so large and it's become such a business that it's more advantageous for them to, you know, really go into artists.

Speaker 1 Wait, so he wrote an entire article that could have just been like, yeah, now athletes can slide into Instagram DMs from Oklahoma City? Yes. Okay, got it.
Yes.

Speaker 6 No, but it's actually really interesting.

Speaker 6 The fan-to-player interface in New York compared to other places, because it's not, you know, they're not going helicopter to the SUV, SUV to the parking lot, parking lot to the hotel.

Speaker 1 There's more of a possibility for

Speaker 1 players

Speaker 6 to be in a walkable city in interface with fans.

Speaker 1 But they live in New Jersey.

Speaker 6 Right, but they come to New York.

Speaker 1 I would say that there's more interface in every other city versus New York.

Speaker 7 Also,

Speaker 1 do you think there's more interface in Green Bay, Wisconsin with the Packers?

Speaker 7 No, way less.

Speaker 1 I would disagree. They're like at the grocery store in a town of 100,000 people.

Speaker 6 Okay, you know what? There are a couple of

Speaker 1 theories that are problematic. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes definitely gets seen in Kansas City more than people see the Jets quarterbacks.

Speaker 6 It's just very, well, these are various theories.

Speaker 1 Okay, I got it. It's a small one.

Speaker 7 Real quick, the flowchart of how you get from practice to New York City. Yeah.
You get in a helicopter to go to your car.

Speaker 1 You think all these guys live in Manhattan? No, a lot of them do live in New York.

Speaker 7 I think

Speaker 1 a lot of them.

Speaker 7 You take the car to the helicopter.

Speaker 1 I don't think a lot of them do. I mean, like, Eli lived in Hoboken his entire career.

Speaker 6 Okay, basically, let's go back to Brett Favre.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
So

Speaker 1 this is the anchor. Whenever we have trouble, hit the Brett Favre button.

Speaker 8 So Brett Favre,

Speaker 6 halfway through the season, before he was injured, before anything, he was basically they accused him of giving up secrets to Detroit Lions coaches. He had a conversation with a Detroit Lions coach.

Speaker 6 This became a huge story, and everyone's basically.

Speaker 1 That was early in the season, right?

Speaker 6 Early in the season.

Speaker 7 Was he talking about like building a volleyball facility for his daughter at some point?

Speaker 6 No, no. But at that point, he was not really doing anything wrong, but this random buzz probably was a distraction.
And if it wasn't, it became into the minds of fans.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 6 So the media dictates what fans kind of think no matter what, even if quarterbacks try to stray away from it.

Speaker 1 But he played well after that. Right.

Speaker 6 But not to say it wasn't a distraction.

Speaker 1 What week was it?

Speaker 6 It was week four.

Speaker 1 When he had six touchdowns?

Speaker 7 Yes. He had six touchdowns that week.
What about the next week?

Speaker 1 He almost broke the record. Yeah, the week that he had the media criticism? Right.

Speaker 7 But that was probably the week after he dealt with media criticism.

Speaker 8 But basically, Brett Favre was paying attention to the market.

Speaker 1 What kind of narrative that we were worse off for Brett Favre?

Speaker 7 What kind of plays was he giving up to the Detroit Lions where he was then throwing six touchdowns against them?

Speaker 7 Like, was he going to throw 10 touchdowns against them if he didn't have that conversation? No, it was the Cardinals.

Speaker 6 This was a totally unrelated thing. They were saying that they weren't even playing Detroit.
Detroit wasn't playing the Jets, but they're just claiming that he was giving secrets.

Speaker 1 Okay. And the story came out before the Cardinals game? Yes.
And then he threw six touchdowns.

Speaker 6 But then he struggled the game after.

Speaker 6 Like, it's just a Meyer out of the way.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 6 Anyway, Geno Smith was accused that, like, Jay-Z recruited him to New York. Basically, there's just a lot of stuff that comes out.

Speaker 7 They told him that you're playing for right.

Speaker 6 It was a Jets rookie QB Smith. Jay-Z did not recruit me.

Speaker 6 There's also a list of New York Post articles, which I used as sort of what to draw from as like a, like, to test the temperature of what's going on in New York. Got it.

Speaker 1 Got it. Okay.
So then

Speaker 6 they're just really shit talking Geno Smith. They like crucify him for getting his jaw broken.

Speaker 6 That was before. Okay.
This is before.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 6 The jaw-breaking thing was, you know, he was already, he was already out of it.

Speaker 1 All right, that was pre-crucified. Okay.

Speaker 6 And then Sam Darnold, mono, seeing ghosts, ran out of town.

Speaker 1 And he's been incredible since. Right.

Speaker 6 And one thing, Zach Wilson is not the only player in the NFL who had a hot mom, but they made his hot mom a bigger story than it should have been.

Speaker 7 Who are some other examples of players with hot moms? Or hot systems. For my research.

Speaker 1 So what, what, I guess my question would be, how did Eli do so well?

Speaker 6 Okay, so the Giants... is in a different situation because they had the same amount of

Speaker 6 shortcomings, but Eli Manning was there for a longer period of time. He solidified himself,

Speaker 6 but he was still driven out of town by the end of the.

Speaker 1 Not really. He just was old and couldn't play anymore.

Speaker 6 It's a different situation because he was from a pre-social media era.

Speaker 7 So this is interesting because I would like to know the difference between the

Speaker 1 Giants media and the Jets.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because Eli, I feel like Eli is one of the most beloved New York athletes.

Speaker 7 And wait, Billy, how about this? What's the difference between the Yankees media

Speaker 7 and the Jets media?

Speaker 1 The Yankees haven't won it a long time. Well, yeah, no, but they do have 27.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those rings are real. Ringside.

Speaker 6 This is worth, I mean, all these are in like the last 12 years.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 15 years.

Speaker 1 Derek Cheeter had a lot of media scrutiny.

Speaker 7 Is it the New York media? Is that why the Yankees suck now? Is because the New York media?

Speaker 1 Could be. It might be.
Also, the Knicks. Although they might be good this year.

Speaker 6 But I also cite

Speaker 6 there's actually like a business.

Speaker 1 Are we done with the PowerPoint? Yeah, that's my question. We could just cut this whole thing if we want to.

Speaker 6 Totally fine with that. I'll just post it as a blog.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think you, the one point that I agree with is that you found that I think is a good premise to jump off of is the idea that there are so many writers competing for clicks and the writers don't have relationships with the players.

Speaker 1 That I think, is you nailed. Because that actually makes perfect sense where it's like, I think when I was perusing

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 dissertation, you pointed out a headline that said, you know, Jets win, Geno Smith struggles.

Speaker 1 Like that, that writers have to find a way to get people to read their articles so they can't just be like, Jets win. You know what I mean? That was a good point.
So I'm giving you a point.

Speaker 6 I appreciate that. Yeah.
Basically, what I wanted to get to the ending thing and what we should be paying attention now, when looking for a new quarterback to bring into New York,

Speaker 6 who could actually deal with all that? For example, a guy like...

Speaker 1 Aaron Rodgers?

Speaker 6 Well, actually, yeah, because he's already in the flame. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Jimmy Garoppolo would be more likely to bring, be a lightning rod to attention if he's bringing a porn star out, being a distraction, just like because he's on record doing things that would be tabloid worthy.

Speaker 6 Lamar Jackson also would be a perfect pick because he's been totally non-controversial, except for probably one tweet and like being in a Kodak Black video.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 What tweet was it from Lamar?

Speaker 6 It was

Speaker 6 a misinterpretation of

Speaker 1 jargon.

Speaker 7 Oh, that one where he told the guy like eat a dick, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Also, the Truss Trump.
Remember that one?

Speaker 1 I actually, that's a great. Why the Buddy Pregnant? I laugh like once a month.
Yeah. Why the buddy pregnant?

Speaker 1 But yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 all right, so this makes sense, Billy. You found a way to make sense.
I think your case studies make no sense, no offense,

Speaker 1 but I think

Speaker 1 the conclusion makes a lot of sense that there are certain guys that are

Speaker 1 made for the New York media and Lamar Jackson, Aaron Rodgers being two of those guys.

Speaker 6 Like, Derek Carr would not work. I would agree.

Speaker 1 Too sensitive to your eyes.

Speaker 7 He blocks everybody on Twitter.

Speaker 6 Yeah, 100%. Like, he wouldn't be able to, like, his excuses wouldn't suffice for the New York.

Speaker 6 And the thing is, Aaron Rodgers just doesn't care about right right and he's he's willing to with them yeah no i agree you either need someone who's totally you know non in the news and doesn't want to like really say anything or someone who's literally just like has fun doing it right and then just says ah it's all fake it's the mainstream media right either one works so the jets should actually listen to billy they should in this case because like i think you I think you in a in a galaxy brain way,

Speaker 1 you wrote a 15-page paper that makes no sense, but your conclusion makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1 Which is actually really all that matters. You stuck the landing.
Yeah. You stuck the landing.

Speaker 7 We got there.

Speaker 7 I tend to agree with Big Cat on this, Billy. I think that there's probably some scientific merit to the fact that

Speaker 7 you do get more clicks on a website if you're writing a negative story or a salacious story.

Speaker 7 And in a cutthroat media market like New York, The reporters are less concerned with having those relationships with players, more concerned about their competition against other writers. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'll put it this way. If you have a person in New York who's buddy-buddy with Zach Wilson and writes like glowing pieces about him, how do you think those are going to do?

Speaker 7 Is that going to get more clicks or less clicks than a story about how he might have fucked his friend's hot mom?

Speaker 1 Exactly. Okay.

Speaker 7 And also look around the league. I'll bet you tons of quarterbacks in the leagues in the NFL have fucked.
How

Speaker 7 have fucked their friend's hot mom.

Speaker 6 Yeah. 100%.

Speaker 1 Damn, Billy, you did a good job. I'm actually very proud of you.

Speaker 7 No, but they're actually.

Speaker 1 Again, the actual bones of it make no sense.

Speaker 7 Wait, Billy, aren't you a member of the New York media?

Speaker 6 Yes. That's why I was trying to do the opposite last season, but then I couldn't.

Speaker 1 Right. Because it wasn't.

Speaker 7 Do you think maybe high expectations for players could that also be a contributing factor? 100%.

Speaker 7 When you would say, like, their ceiling is Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 7 I think that that could set them up.

Speaker 1 That would also be funny if Zach Wilson came out and was like, you know, the only media I consume is part of my take, and I thought I was crushing it.

Speaker 1 If I listened to them every single Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and

Speaker 1 they were saying that I didn't even need to do practice.

Speaker 1 That could have happened.

Speaker 7 Maybe you ruined the Jets, Billy.

Speaker 6 I tried not to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the other part of this is like maybe the Jets just suck at drafting. Yep.
Because like you could make the same argument for the Bears or the Commanders and be like, it's the media fault.

Speaker 1 No, it's actually just the organization is a failure.

Speaker 6 It's easier to drive around Chicago, though.

Speaker 1 Right. But that's, I still don't.

Speaker 7 Wait, walk me back to the New York City being developed before.

Speaker 1 But again, those guys, the Bears players live in Lake Forest. They don't even live downtown, like, same as the Jets players don't live in.

Speaker 1 That's why I'm saying, like, Aaron Rodgers definitely gets seen by more people in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Speaker 6 Also, what's in there is that there's more of a paparazzi atmosphere in New York for celebrities.

Speaker 6 So you end up having players who on a night out might end up in a pop-up So that's why the Los Angeles Rams will never win a single.

Speaker 1 Never, never. I'll never, never.
The Rams and the Chargers, never.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 They haven't been there.

Speaker 6 They haven't been there long enough yet for this to impact them.

Speaker 7 By this same thread that we're pulling on, couldn't you say the Green Bay Packers, the media in Green Bay is the reason why they've been so good, not their quarterbacks. Right.

Speaker 7 They just have great writers up there that will be friendly to you.

Speaker 1 The media makes teams good or bad. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Our job is more important than the players. 100%.
Thank you for, yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 1 All right, good job, Billy. I'm going to give you a

Speaker 1 3.7 balls.

Speaker 6 I think that's over a C.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 3.7 out of 5 balls.

Speaker 7 I'm going to give you an F plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus.

Speaker 7 That means a B minus.

Speaker 1 Sweet. Hank, would you like to give him a grade?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Incomplete. That's incomplete.

Speaker 6 You got to incompletely. Actually,

Speaker 6 you know what?

Speaker 7 The name of this whole presentation could be called Pass Fail. Yeah.
Why New York Jets quarterbacks suck. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm just going to give the franchise and the whole town in general of New York an F.

Speaker 1 The whole town.

Speaker 3 I mean, you mentioned they have 11 teams, and I didn't hear any mention of championships.

Speaker 7 What about the barbecue? Best barbecue in the world.

Speaker 1 True. And whiskey.
And first horses. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Should we do do a hot seat cool throne? Then we'll get to Kevin Stefansky.
Hank? Yeah. Would you like to start with a hot seat cool throne? Good job, Billy.
Three, seven out of five balls.

Speaker 1 No, that's huge. You did a lot of work.
It's a lot of work that you did that I'm applauding.

Speaker 6 I tried to do something that was kind of impossible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. Yeah.
That's right.

Speaker 7 But hey, they thought that the guy that flew an airplane for the first time was crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's actually in the lesson that you learned you should actually throw out, like, because this show is built on saying things, having nothing to back them up is what you essentially did and then you tried to back it up and it wasn't there so we just got to remember to never back up anything yep if you just say it with enough conviction yeah that's worth a million reports a million studies yeah also i i screwed up uh it was jeff neal not jeff lewis on monday oh on yeah on jeff lewis was the flipping out guy remember that show for the u.s that show ruled he would just he was just a gay guy who would just get in fights with his housekeeper every morning then go make million dollar houses I did not watch that show, but it sounds electric.

Speaker 7 I think the big takeaway from Billy's report is it's better to sound correct than it is to be correct.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 7 Wait, which

Speaker 7 did I sound correct when I said that?

Speaker 1 It sounded very correct. The way you slowed down there? Yeah, it was correct.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 6 I just think if Aaron Rodgers did come to New York, the circus around it would be awesome to watch.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But wait.

Speaker 7 It would be great if he actually did bring a circus to town.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Here's my elephant.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, hot seat cool to

Speaker 3 my hot seat. It's kind of like Bizarro World.
We got Billy over here doing works-cited pages, writing up a detailed report.

Speaker 3 And then on the flip side, we have our darling Jake sparking up the internet and firing up.

Speaker 10 I had myself on the hot seat for this.

Speaker 7 What'd you do, Jake?

Speaker 1 Can I finish? Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 What'd you do?

Speaker 3 He's just sending out like crazy slanted political takes on Twitter.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, really? Okay.

Speaker 9 So I wrote a blog on this, too.

Speaker 1 It's insane.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's like going viral.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 9 The title of the blog is...

Speaker 9 I didn't stick to sports for this tweet.

Speaker 1 Wait, no, no, no. Read the tweet.
Yeah, read the tweet.

Speaker 1 Not a political tweet. It's not the blog, it's the tweet.

Speaker 6 Not a political tweet.

Speaker 9 This was an elite segment with an elite name, Barack Atology.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 3 with a picture of Obama filling out his bracket.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got real political. You got real political.

Speaker 9 And there's a lot of people being sarcastic in the replies, Hank being one of them, but some people, like, they're just fighting with each other, like actual politics.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. In the replies.
Wow.

Speaker 7 So I remember that segment.

Speaker 1 It was him and Andy Katz, right?

Speaker 7 In the Oval Office. And he did, like, a 30-minute bracket.
My problem with his bracket, if I remember it correctly, this motherfucker took all the chalk.

Speaker 1 You know what I call him? He dicky V'd it. Pachalk Obama.
Oh, Pachalko B.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he had like, I think his only upset was he had Nova advancing to the Sweet 16, right? Over someone. I forget.

Speaker 9 He did it every year, but yes, it was mostly top seeds advancing.

Speaker 7 And people were like, how he should be spending his time killing bin Laden again instead of making it.

Speaker 1 We really missed out like Trump never filling out a bracket.

Speaker 1 He should have released the perfect bracket. And I started

Speaker 1 to do that.

Speaker 9 If Trump or Biden did this, I would think it's equally as entertaining.

Speaker 1 Trump knows Trump is the name of the HC'd.

Speaker 10 Well, they would have to have a name. But the segment itself.
Got it. So, like,

Speaker 1 it was not a political sounds political to me.

Speaker 9 But some people are mad.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this guy said, I'm just trying to enjoy a sunny Tuesday morning, and now I have to think about innocent people killed by drones around the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did that to your tweet. You did that to him.

Speaker 7 Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 1 Wow. Very cool.
Way to go, Jake. Not great.
Way to go.

Speaker 9 Sorry. Everyone says I'm the favorite for lib of the year 2023.

Speaker 5 I would say you're definitely at the forefront.

Speaker 7 How often do you watch that Barack Atology

Speaker 3 leftists listen to podcasts too, Jake?

Speaker 9 It's a callback to a few weeks ago for those who missed that. But

Speaker 9 I just watched it on YouTube today.

Speaker 1 You did?

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 It's a cool segment.

Speaker 1 Another guy filling out his bracket? What? At the end of the day. It's a five-minute segment.
At the end of the day, this made you think another?

Speaker 1 Like, we talk about

Speaker 3 Obama's bracket.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch the whole thing. I was just like, scrolled through it, like, just to embed it in the blog.
What was your favorite part?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can't think of anything more boring. Let's be clear.

Speaker 7 UNC's got a great front court.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, it was a cool segment. Like, there's nothing else to it.

Speaker 10 I didn't expect it to take off like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I never, I don't think I ever watched one because I'm thinking about it and I, I mean, I saw the pictures, pictures but I don't give a fuck when he picked up I'm pretty sure that that George Bush did it too yeah at least one year when he was in office but he write a blog about that yeah funny Jake's not talking about that huh huh just makes you think all right your cool throne Hank my cool throne that would be on the hot seat if this we were doing this six years ago but I don't want to get in trouble but

Speaker 1 Sister Jean yeah I had her also

Speaker 1 is she dead no but I mean she's dying look at

Speaker 1 That's what old people do. They die.

Speaker 7 The Gryffindor witch herself is back.

Speaker 1 They lost, though.

Speaker 1 They're eliminated.

Speaker 9 She was present at the A-10 first-round tournament.

Speaker 1 So she felt. She was physically.

Speaker 7 Physically present? She lost her touch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it is like, how old is she now?

Speaker 7 I think she's

Speaker 7 99.

Speaker 1 103.

Speaker 3 She's like stregonona.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 7 she just wrote a book.

Speaker 1 Over 100 is running up the score.

Speaker 7 Someone wrote a book. You shouldn't write a book if you're 100.

Speaker 1 Anything over 90 is running up the score. It's like, all right, enough already.

Speaker 10 This is from the AP.

Speaker 9 At age 103, Sister Gene awakes daily at 5 a.m. She sits up quickly to avoid going to sleep again.

Speaker 1 I've got too much to do.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 7 It's like the funny thing is, Sister Gene is probably, by most metrics, healthier than I am. Yes.

Speaker 7 She's got

Speaker 7 a much better grasp on reality and how to go about your day than I do. Like sitting, waking up.

Speaker 1 Oh, I still would.

Speaker 7 Waking up and then going back to sleep immediately thereafter is the best way to start your day.

Speaker 1 I still would.

Speaker 1 You can put that on the box. That's fine.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tweet that. Still would.

Speaker 7 She's a witch.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 PFT.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I was going to talk about Sister Jean as well.

Speaker 7 But I guess for my hot seat, I'll just do the entire NBA.

Speaker 7 Yep. Because...

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had this as a part of mine.

Speaker 7 Because Bronny's better. Yeah.
Bronnie's better, and

Speaker 7 that shit, lightweight, hilarious. Yeah.
And so I'm just going to start using lightweight in terms of low-key.

Speaker 1 What did he say?

Speaker 7 He said that

Speaker 7 LeBron James is watching the NBA.

Speaker 1 Because he's hurt.

Speaker 7 Because he's hurt, and he's not playing right now. And he said, man, Bronny, definitely better than some of these cats I've been watching on League Pass today.
Shit, lightweight, hilarious.

Speaker 7 Four crying emojis.

Speaker 1 I mean, LeBron James does no basketball.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have a dog in this fight.

Speaker 7 No, he does not. He's being unbiased.

Speaker 7 I tend to agree with LeBron James that shit is lightweight hilarious. Like, imagine Bronny in the NBA, right? I do want to see.

Speaker 7 And LeBron is definitely acting as his son's marketing team, which I understand. Your dad should be your biggest promoter.

Speaker 7 And he's trying to get LeBron James Jr. or Bronnie drafted as opposed to go.
Well, in a way, couldn't you look at this and be like, he doesn't want his son to get an education?

Speaker 3 How is LeBron different than LeVar Ball?

Speaker 7 That's a fair question. One is good at basketball.

Speaker 7 That's the biggest thing that jumped out to me.

Speaker 5 Yeah, one is really Levar Ball.

Speaker 1 No, I played the player. LeVar did not play.

Speaker 7 No, I'm saying LeVar Ball is the one that's really good at basketball. He said that he could beat anybody, including Michael Jordan one-on-one.

Speaker 6 He played for the Jets practice squad.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Okay.
Never lost. He had never lost.
He averaged like 10 points at Washington State.

Speaker 7 He probably didn't make it because of the New York media, though. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 It's the Jets.

Speaker 7 And then my hot seat is also going to be the NBA because Scott Foster is on his bullshit again. All-time performance by Scott Foster last night.
He teed up.

Speaker 7 Was it Scotty Barnes with like 20 seconds left in the game? Yeah. Teed him up, then kind of chased him down and talked shit to him on the way out.
Don't know what Scotty said. He was surprised.

Speaker 7 All of his teammates were surprised.

Speaker 7 The rest of the referees were surprised that Scott Foster teed him up, threw him out of the game.

Speaker 7 I know that a lot of people are like, hey, listen, nobody goes to games to watch Scott Foster. I do watch games to watch Scott Foster.

Speaker 7 It's funny when he's deep in his bag and like pulling out his A game. This was awesome.
I love Scott Foster. It's good.
I'll put it this way. It's good to have one Scott Foster in the league.

Speaker 7 You don't want to have like a bunch of refs that are copycat Scott Foster's. But having this one wild guard, as a fan of Chaos, I love rooting for Scott Foster.

Speaker 7 He is arguably the greatest to ever do it in terms of having a thin skin and being a really shitty referee. Yes.
But he is very much himself.

Speaker 7 He's one of one, and you have to appreciate greatness in that moment.

Speaker 1 It's good to have him. I'm like Joe West.
Yeah, like Joe West.

Speaker 7 When it's Joe West and Angel Cabrera at the same time, that's too much. Yeah.
But I like having one guy that really sucks.

Speaker 1 Like, this is, you guys are all here for me.

Speaker 7 That we can watch him and be like, go, Scott, go. Yes.
And so Scott was in rare form last night.

Speaker 1 I agree with that.

Speaker 7 Shout out, Scott Foster. I hope you continue this through the postseason.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'd agree with that. All right, my hot seat is a friend of the program, recurring guest.
Hopefully, we'll have him back on for NBA playoffs. J.J.

Speaker 1 Reddick, he's he and Kendrick Perkins like got actually upset at each other on first take. Um,

Speaker 1 I we got to have JJ back on to just remind him that, like, first take

Speaker 1 you don't have to take it seriously because he he got upset and they're they're arguing about MVPs.

Speaker 1 I think Kendrick Perkins alluded to maybe the MVP voters being uh biased towards white guys, and then uh it devolved into like an argument that even Stephen A.

Speaker 1 Smith looked uncomfortable, which is hard to do. Yeah.
So I also have a take.

Speaker 1 The MVP is just way overrated. Besides the team, like

Speaker 1 if your player wins the MVP, that's awesome. But like in terms of a league-wide discussion, I just don't care who wins the MVP.
I don't care who wins the title.

Speaker 7 You know how you can tell who's going to be second place in the MVP voting? The guy whose fans are chanting MVP when they're at the foul line. That should actually be the qualification.

Speaker 7 Like if you're that guy, then you're probably not the MVP because your fans are trying really hard to push you on the edge and they're mad about it.

Speaker 7 Also, JJ does need to remind himself sometimes that first take is the opposite of news. Yeah.
And it's the opposite of being informed about things.

Speaker 1 We've got to just get them back on track.

Speaker 7 JJ, it's better to sound correct than it is to be correct. Correct.

Speaker 1 You did it again. Thank you.
You fucking did it again.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I just, like, think about it.
Like, can you remember every MVP? If you're, if a player you root for wins an MVP, that's awesome. But everyone would rather win a title than an MVP.

Speaker 1 And we spend so much time talking about MVPs. What, Hank? I mean, it's a big award.

Speaker 1 It is a big award, but at the end of the day, like, do you, is it the most memorable thing that, like, we spend so much time talking about MVPs? And then, like,

Speaker 1 who was the MVP in the NFL four years ago?

Speaker 7 I'm going to guess Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Probably. Who was the MVP in the NBA four years ago?

Speaker 1 Delhi. I rest my kids.

Speaker 1 That was maybe Giannis. I think that was Giannis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Giannis went back to the Canadian.

Speaker 7 So I disagree with Katie.

Speaker 1 I do remember.

Speaker 7 I disagree that it's overrated. I think

Speaker 7 the MVP is like a very prestigious award. But we often do, it's followed up with

Speaker 7 the comment that it's a regular season award.

Speaker 1 What awards aren't overrated.

Speaker 1 Actually, the title.

Speaker 1 Champion.

Speaker 1 Champion. Winning the award of champion.
Purple Heart. Purple Heart Heart is not overrated.

Speaker 1 Keys to the city.

Speaker 1 Not overrated.

Speaker 7 Pizza Parties?

Speaker 3 I mean, it's literally not even the Keys of the City.

Speaker 1 I literally have a key to Toledo.

Speaker 3 But you couldn't get in if you.

Speaker 1 I could open every door. I walk up and I say, this is the key to the city.
Open your fucking door. And they open the door.
All right, so maybe.

Speaker 1 All right. Correcting my own take, maybe MVPs aren't.
overrated, but the discussion about them is overrated.

Speaker 1 Because I feel like we spend a shit, a lot of time talking about an MVP that most people like at the end of the day, then the playoffs start. And it's like, yeah, this is what we're playing for.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's true. So for the record,

Speaker 7 when we're discussing LeBron versus Jordan, let's throw out Jordan's MVPs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Okay. And he's still 6-0 in the finals.

Speaker 1 How many was LeBron in the finals?

Speaker 3 I think like 3-13 or something.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Rest our case.
4-0. No, no, 3.5.

Speaker 1 3.5 and 14 is really what it is.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy.

Speaker 5 My first hot seat.

Speaker 7 Well, also, if he's playing 23 of the most important games of his career, you count all those losses as final.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 6 First hot seat is my tongue for Billy Style cheese steaks this Thursday.

Speaker 6 There's multiple cheesesteak carts around New York City, and Jake and I will be at a random one at 11 a.m. Eastern time on Thursday.

Speaker 7 Find Billy and Jake. Yeah.
I love that. Like, where's Walter? Serving up cheesesteak.

Speaker 6 You're trying to lick people.

Speaker 7 Yeah, why is your tongue on the hot seat? You got to see it.

Speaker 1 Michael Douglas.

Speaker 3 Are you going to make out with them?

Speaker 6 I need a hot seat.

Speaker 1 Are you going to eat one Billy style?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm going to eat one Billy style. That's, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let's see.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Are you sure you're signing up for that?

Speaker 7 11 a.m.

Speaker 6 At 11 a.m. on Thursday.

Speaker 7 Signing up.

Speaker 6 There's a bunch around the city. If you see them, take a picture, tweet them at us, and we'll be retweeting them.

Speaker 7 And my cool throne is Torradol.

Speaker 7 That shit really works.

Speaker 1 You tried some?

Speaker 6 I've taken two Torradol shots in the past week.

Speaker 1 Is that how you got

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 report done?

Speaker 6 No, I didn't.

Speaker 7 No,

Speaker 6 I had hives. Okay.
But it fucking works.

Speaker 7 Can we see your back?

Speaker 6 We got to blur it.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's discussing.
Yeah, we'll definitely blur it. We'll hunt it.

Speaker 7 Max, can you blur it? Max.

Speaker 1 Blur this, please. All right, let's see.
Oh, what the fuck? Can we see the back? Let's see your back.

Speaker 1 Show Hank and Max. Show the camera.

Speaker 6 I've been taking tons of benefits.

Speaker 1 You got to show the camera so we know what to blur.

Speaker 1 Show the camera. Max, zoom in so we know what to blur.

Speaker 6 My laundromat did a low water setting and the detergent was too high.

Speaker 7 Whatever you're thinking,

Speaker 1 Max, you got that shot.

Speaker 7 Everybody at home, for the record, Billy does not have monkeypox. Stop putting it in the news that he has monkeypox.

Speaker 6 It wasn't a monkey.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 There never was a monkey. Not one iota.

Speaker 6 Not one monkey.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 But tortole actually is insane how much it works.

Speaker 1 Wait, so that's unrelated to the fleas.

Speaker 6 I thought it was the fleas, but turns out during the Hoboken water main break.

Speaker 1 Wait, so Whitey doesn't work at a flea factory?

Speaker 6 No, and he didn't have fleas.

Speaker 1 What's he been doing all day? I took him to the groom.

Speaker 7 He's been leaving your apartment every morning with his suitcase.

Speaker 5 He's actually been just hanging out in a park?

Speaker 6 He's actually been working hard lately. And he actually works for us.

Speaker 1 Whitey's got to come up soon for you. He works for us.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 I was going to say for Firefest.

Speaker 1 But...

Speaker 6 Yeah, so anyway, there's a water main break day. My laundromat did a low water cycle, so they use the same amount of detergent with less water.

Speaker 6 And I guess I'm allergic to high concentrations of whatever they used. Damn, dude.
So then I've been like sleeping in my bed thinking I had fleas, but I was just like getting burnt by my belly.

Speaker 1 Billy's apologizing.

Speaker 7 You've always been a low concentration guy.

Speaker 1 Do they give you like a free load?

Speaker 6 I don't even want to deal with it. I feel bad for them because they had no water.

Speaker 1 They struggle with load management.

Speaker 6 Yeah, they had no water that day.

Speaker 7 So like, I don't know.

Speaker 6 It's not their fault. It's PSEG's fault.

Speaker 6 We all know that. They broke the water, main.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Tordall and PSEG.

Speaker 6 I was itching my face off, and then Tordal all went away.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 1 yeah, you didn't have to take Toradall to know that. I mean, every NFL player is like, it's the best feeling thing in the world.

Speaker 6 How many of us have done Toradall before?

Speaker 7 I actually don't think that it's Monkey Park.

Speaker 1 That's sick, bro.

Speaker 7 I think it's Cordyceps.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, your hot seat cooled throng.

Speaker 9 My hot seat's retirement. There was a report that Tom Brady would be unrelated to.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 9 again and possibly coming to the Dolphins.

Speaker 9 However, three hours ago, Tom Brady tweeted, anyone who thinks I have time to come back to the NFL has never adopted a two-month-old kitten for their daughter.

Speaker 1 Oh, slashed on a stand-up career. Did you also, this was Rich Eisen had like his five rumors he heard in Indy,

Speaker 1 and one of them was that Phil Rivers was also reaching out to teams last year.

Speaker 7 So it could, we could be back on.

Speaker 1 I like that, it bummed me out when I saw that, that no team wanted him.

Speaker 7 I'm sure they just couldn't afford him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably not. Probably not.

Speaker 7 A lot of daycare. A lot of kids.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 So, wait, Tom Brady.

Speaker 7 What does that mean when he says

Speaker 7 no one has ever come back to work after getting their daughter a two-month-old kitten? What does that have to do with that?

Speaker 7 It's a lot of work.

Speaker 9 Schedule's more filled now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But it's a cat.

Speaker 7 It shits in your head. Definitely not.

Speaker 9 It's still a lot of time to do practice broadcasts, right, Tom?

Speaker 1 It's katernity leave. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He can't come back. Yeah.

Speaker 9 My cool throne is.

Speaker 7 Swimming a new pussy. Yeah.

Speaker 9 My cool throne is Bob Costas. He received a lot of heat for his broadcast work over the MLB playoffs, and he admitted in an interview that he was off his game.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Pink Eye?

Speaker 9 No, he says it's the same philosophy, same approach, but I wasn't nailing it. It didn't have the same flow and rhythm to it.
There were a few awkward moments. That's accountability right there.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 More accountability than you'd ever hold on him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a fact.
Yeah. Like, you still won't say Bob Costas sucked after Bob Costas says he sucked.
You're right, exactly. So I prove my point.

Speaker 7 Jake, what about this? You know who else was in the news recently?

Speaker 1 Who?

Speaker 7 Another broadcaster trying to make his way back to the big time. Tom Brennaman.
Tom Brennam. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's trying to come back.

Speaker 7 Where do you stand on Tom Brennaman coming back?

Speaker 1 Oh, Jake, answer carefully.

Speaker 7 You have to have to have a take on this, Jake.

Speaker 1 We have a lot of listeners in San Francisco.

Speaker 10 there's a saying oh oh god

Speaker 1 is it about a city what okay no go ahead there's a saying that everyone deserves a section second chance okay you almost said sex and chance second chance wow

Speaker 7 should we get joey in here for this yeah pat and joey uh i guess

Speaker 1 it depends on the gig okay this is i don't know so for the cardinals yeah they already hired someone okay i was gonna say yeah didn't Chip Carey?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I was going to say, fuck it. I don't care.
Bring him back.

Speaker 1 He's done his time. Yeah, like, it's also like, don't even make an announcement about it.
Well, it's the best. Just have him just be announcing the Panthers versus Cardinals next year.

Speaker 7 Or, I mean, it's at 3 o'clock.

Speaker 1 And we'll be like, all right, cool.

Speaker 7 It's the Reds. If Cincinnati all got together and they're like, hey, let's just agree to not publicize the fact that Don Raymond's back.
Just slip him back in.

Speaker 7 They could keep that a pretty good secret, I think. Right.
How many people are tuning in out of market to watch Reds games?

Speaker 3 He's got to come to the Phillies.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Castleanos. Oh, yeah.
That's true. Oh, that would be great.

Speaker 9 He should just follow wherever he goes.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a deep drive up a guy's butthole.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, I stand on just slipping back in.
Jake, non-answer.

Speaker 1 Everyone deserves a second chance. But Hitler? But

Speaker 9 we've got to see that he's made those strides in the people that he's hurt.

Speaker 3 What do you need to see? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does he have to have a fuck a guy?

Speaker 1 Would that make you happy, Jake?

Speaker 7 I think he has to take it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to know Kong in here.

Speaker 1 We've successfully put Jake in a very bad corner. You guys are very good at this.
All right. Okay.
Let's get to our

Speaker 1 interview with Kevin Stefansky, head coach of the Cleveland Browns.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Kevin Stefansky.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very special guests. It is head coach of the Cleveland Browns, Kevin Stefanski.
Thank you for coming on, coach. Do you want to do the hard question first or the easy question?

Speaker 1 Hard one. All right, let's rip it off.
All right, so we sometimes like to just be honest with our guests, things that we've said. So I'm I'm going to read a tweet to you from December 26, 2022.

Speaker 1 It says, Browns v. Saints was a battle of who can be the dumber piece of shit, head coach.
Somehow Dennis Allen came to his senses before Stefansky. Thoughts.
Fair.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Fair.
I mean, when you lose, everything's fair game. So fair.
I'd agree.

Speaker 7 Well, there were two losers in that game.

Speaker 7 Do you remember how that played out?

Speaker 7 That was the game

Speaker 7 where I think everybody that was watching it was just screaming at the TV, no matter who you rooted for, run the damn ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Why don't you run the damn ball?

Speaker 5 It was hard in that game to run the damn ball.

Speaker 5 They knew that it was very hard to pass, so they were bringing safeties very close to that line of scrimmage. So you're thinking, all right, the winds died down.
We got the win with us.

Speaker 5 Let's try this.

Speaker 5 Obviously, it didn't work. So then you work backwards.
You're like, okay, what could we have done differently? And yes, running the damn ball in some situations would have helped in that game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it must be difficult. Like, you, I mean, it's great that you have these two unbelievable running backs, but do you ever find it?

Speaker 1 We're football dummies. We are fans at our core.
And the one complaint every fan can always have is, like, why don't you run the ball more? So is it difficult sometimes?

Speaker 1 Are you ever like on the sideline like, fuck, they probably just want me to run the ball. I'll just run the ball.
Like, they can't get mad at me if I run the ball.

Speaker 5 No, I think we're unique in having Nick. Chubb and having that offensive line.

Speaker 5 I think the fun part for us is running the ball in the fourth quarter when you have that lead and you can go lean on people, which not many teams have that

Speaker 5 But there's certainly high leverage moments down near the reds down near the goal line, third down.

Speaker 5 You're always thinking about Nick Chubb.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Are you open to putting on your play sheet next year, just as a reminder? You know how Matt Nagy has BU,

Speaker 7 you should just have run the damn ball.

Speaker 5 I hear, yeah, that's definitely something that I'll hear. You know, it's a refrain of our fans oftentimes.
I'm like, score points. I want to write that on the call sheet.
That works too.

Speaker 7 Any which way you can. What about this for analytics? Teams that run the ball more win at a higher rate in the NFL than teams that run the ball less.

Speaker 5 Yeah, is that the whole causation version?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is, but it's also true.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 5 you know, I remember somebody.

Speaker 5 They said when Nick Chubb rushes the ball this many times, you win. I'm like, we should start the game with 24 straight Nick rushes.

Speaker 1 Yes. See what happens.
Yes.

Speaker 5 We may be down by a couple scores, but, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 He seems like a good guy.

Speaker 7 When I watch the mic dups with Chubb, he doesn't really say anything. He's just like breathing hard, and then occasionally be like, yeah, after like a good play.

Speaker 7 Is he more talkative than that around you, around people that he knows?

Speaker 5 He's definitely more talkative when he's comfortable. Nick is a unique person.
I mean, he's a man of few words. And I always tell people, like, he's not low maintenance.
He's no maintenance.

Speaker 5 He shows up. He doesn't wear gloves.
You know, he kind of is always what he's supposed to wear out of practice.

Speaker 5 He's in stretch lines. Like, whatever you ask him to do, he's just going to do it.
But he's got a personality off the field. I just don't think he

Speaker 5 lets people in very easily.

Speaker 1 So you need, have you ever given the speech? Like, if we had 53 Nick Chubbs,

Speaker 5 yes. I get around town, I always get Nick Chubbs, my favorite player.
I'm like, mine too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Agreed.
All right. So since we're doing a little analytics, you did go to Penn, no big deal, Ivy League.
Like, like, what, like the seventh Ivy League? That's not

Speaker 1 adjacent. Like, what, it's Harvard?

Speaker 5 It's the southernmost Ivy. Okay.

Speaker 1 But it's

Speaker 1 probably ahead of Cornell. That's it, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, Cornell doesn't count.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Cornell.

Speaker 7 Dartmouth, definitely ahead of Dartmouth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe ahead of Dartmouth.

Speaker 5 Everybody always talks about HYP, Harvard, Yale, Princeton.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. We're somewhere shortly thereafter.
Okay, all right, that's fair. Yeah, Columbia, I'd say, is ahead of you.

Speaker 1 But either way, Ivy League nonetheless, barely Ivy League, safety school of Ivy League.

Speaker 1 Let me throw an analytics question to you. Okay.

Speaker 7 Game situation.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It is you're down eight points.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You have all three of your timeouts?

Speaker 1 all three of your timeouts i think so two minimum two catches let's say two three timeouts okay uh there's about a minute and 48 seconds left you are on fourth and goal on the eight yard line you're down eight yeah what do you do

Speaker 5 yeah you can kick the field goal and then hope that you get the onside kick and the and

Speaker 5 you kick the ball deep and use all three and hope you get the ball back

Speaker 5 no you're you're going in you're close to the did this ever happen in any games no no no not in any like high-profile playoff games or anything like that no no championship championship games no nf champions i think when you get low down i do know this as you get lower down in the red zone like you got to take your shot a lot of times now that does that every quarterback doesn't believe in that and i'm not i'm not speaking to any uh example but i will say this that that inside when you get low the that eight-yard line it is difficult there's not a lot of plays that that you'll love to be able to hold on the ball but um to your point if you don't get it now you can use your three timeouts and maybe get the ball back so when we are sitting on the couch and like say it's first and say it's third and goal from the five and you get a five-yard penalty, I always am like, good, more room.

Speaker 1 Is that right? No.

Speaker 5 It's not because it takes you longer. You're eligible players.
It takes them longer to get into the end zone. But it's, I'll tell you what, those decisions,

Speaker 5 it's sometimes you're like, damn it if you do, damn it if you don't. Right.

Speaker 5 Ultimately, I try, we try to bet on the players as much as you can and trust the guys.

Speaker 1 So do you have, how does that work for you specifically on the sideline? Do you have your offensive coordinator in your ear? Do you have an analytics guy in your ear?

Speaker 5 We have a game management coach up in the booth who's, the way we work our fourth down decisions, at least, we use the red, yellow, green scale, which can we understand that one?

Speaker 1 That's pretty exciting. Stop lane.

Speaker 5 So we'll oftentimes like say, hey, you're green at three, meaning fourth and three, two or one, you're green.

Speaker 5 All these decisions you make during the week because you look at the game, you look at the matchup, you look at the weather, and you basically come out and say, okay, how many points do we need to score?

Speaker 5 How's our matchup on defense? Those type of things. Because it's hard.

Speaker 5 Now, there's times when it's yellow, and that's the true gut, but when it's pretty clear that you should go for it based on the information you have available to you, it speeds up your process.

Speaker 7 Yeah. What about the timeout aspect of the game? Do you ever, I've always said that coaches should play Madden in the offseason, just to put yourself in those game situations.

Speaker 5 Honestly, so I grew up playing Madden.

Speaker 5 I really believe our generation is maybe a little bit better at game management because we've done that, because we know when you're down 10 and you got, hey, I'm going to kick the field goal now, and then I'm going to get the onside.

Speaker 5 I got to get the seven later.

Speaker 5 I do think all those games, I know it's silly, but I do think that all helps when it comes to game management.

Speaker 7 What about if you're down by 14 points, what, two minutes left in the fourth quarter, you're going in, you score a touchdown. Do you go for two or do you kick an extra point?

Speaker 6 I think you go for two.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's the beauty for me someday. It depends on how you do it.

Speaker 5 But the nice part is you have somebody up in the booth that's helping you with all these decisions so you don't have to make them all in the moment.

Speaker 5 Because as you guys know, like you make a decision when it works, you're really smart. When it doesn't work, you're getting text messages or you're getting tweets from Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. So wait, you said something there about Madden that reminded me, you're cosplaying as an older guy with your beard.
Because I remember we had that revelation.

Speaker 1 We're like, wait, we're the same age as Kevin Safanski. This isn't fair.
Why do you, you are a young-looking guy, except your beard is gray. Thank you.
I think. No, that's a compliment.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think you're doing it on purpose so people are like, oh, he's been around forever.

Speaker 5 Yeah, maybe I should. So should I dye it?

Speaker 5 Is it blonde? First of all, I tell my kids it's blonde. It's not gray.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, that's smart. Should I go grayer or should I dye it?

Speaker 7 I think it's a good amount of gray. You don't want to end up like Hank, but I think that with your face,

Speaker 7 I think our theory was that you were dyeing your beard gray. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it is a compliment because we're saying basically you're way younger than maybe your beard looks. Like, I'll get the reverse where I'll say I'm 38 and people are like, I thought you were 50.

Speaker 1 Like, that sucks.

Speaker 5 Yeah, for me, when it comes to the beard, it's like I don't like to shave.

Speaker 5 So when you just let it grow out, and then you get to. trim it every week or so.
So it just kind of takes away a day of maintenance, if that makes sense.

Speaker 7 Do you have a schedule in place? Like you know that you should trim it two days before game day because there's going to be a lot of stuff.

Speaker 5 No, but I have an unbelievable barber that I go to.

Speaker 5 Can I give him a plug?

Speaker 1 Yeah, shout him out.

Speaker 5 Sean Gormley. He's the Irish barber, Irish barber in Rocky River, Ohio.
He has a pub right next door to the barbershop that he also owns. So you can have a pint while you're getting your haircut.

Speaker 1 Let's make sure we bleep all that. Gotcha.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, that's, I mean, that sounds like the perfect barbershop.
Yeah. You gotta go.

Speaker 1 You're just sitting there and drinking a beer and having, I like, I mean, sometimes I like to almost close my eyes and just take a little

Speaker 1 snooze. All right, so your career is fascinating to me because you were with the Vikings for a very long time and you survived three different head coaches.
How?

Speaker 1 Like, that is, you, you never really see that happen where guys are able to stay in the building, so you must have something to you that has people being like, I believe in him.

Speaker 1 I want him to stick around.

Speaker 1 I don't want to throw him out.

Speaker 5 Dirt on the owner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. You tell me.
Do you want to say that?

Speaker 5 Sure. You know, the first change, I went from Brad Schilders to Leslie Frazier.
Leslie was the defensive coordinator, so he retained a bunch of guys. And then Coach Zim came in.

Speaker 5 He had a lot of defensive coaches, maybe didn't have as many offensive coaches. So I was very fortunate to interview interview with him and stick on as his tight end coach, I guess, back then.

Speaker 5 There's no secret. I'm so lucky in that.
And I got to stay in one place for whatever it was, 15 years,

Speaker 5 worked with different offensive coordinators. Most people, when you do that, you have to move like six times to get the type of experience I had.
So I was the lucky one.

Speaker 5 There's somebody that's the opposite that moved six times. I got to stay there.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 So when you started,

Speaker 7 I read a story that you met Brad Childress and you made such an impression on him that he was like, I'm going to hire this guy. Do you remember that meeting?

Speaker 5 Well, I was in, so I interned with the Eagles. So I get out of college.
I have no idea what I want to do. So I get into commercial real estate, which is a really fascinating industry.

Speaker 5 And I very quickly realized, like, I don't want to do this. I know I didn't want to do that.

Speaker 5 just I love football, had played it in college. So the opportunity came to intern with the Eagles and I went up there in the summer of 2005.
This was the crazy TO summer. Remember the sit-ups and then

Speaker 5 so I was up there for that. And yeah, I don't remember, it wasn't like one meeting with Coach Shilders, but at some point we must have crossed paths.

Speaker 5 And when he got the job, he gave me a call to come join him.

Speaker 1 That's incredible.

Speaker 7 And then you were in Minnesota when Brett Favre came to town. I was.
Were you involved in the recruiting process for Brett?

Speaker 5 Not the recruiting process, but I was in the quarterback room. That was my first year on the offensive staff.
It was 2009. Here I am, a fly on the wall.

Speaker 5 It was Brett Favre, Tavares Jackson, Sage Rosenfelds. Kevin Rodgers was the quarterback coach.
I got to sit back there, not say a word. I just watched it all.
And like, Brett was incredible.

Speaker 5 What struck me a bunch about him, but he had seen so much football. And it was just like he'd rattle off a look.
He's like, yeah, they did that in, you know, whatever year, 96.

Speaker 5 We killed the Bears, sorry, when they brought that defense versus us. Like, he just had this Rolodex memory of things that he had seen through his career.

Speaker 5 But he was great to me for a young coach to watch how it was done at a high level was unbelievable.

Speaker 1 So along those same lines, you were on the sideline for Bounty Gate.

Speaker 5 Yes, I was.

Speaker 1 Were you at any point like, what's going on here? This is,

Speaker 1 They're trying to kill him?

Speaker 5 Well, I think back then and even now, like, they're trying to hit the quarterback. Every defense is trying to hit the quarterback.
I mean, Brett came out of that game.

Speaker 5 His ankle was black and blue this big. I think he would have played in the Super Bowl, but you weren't surprised that they were trying to hit the quarterback.

Speaker 5 I mean, that game, what I remember about that is...

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I'm the assistant quarterback coach, or whatever my title was. And we went, because it was so loud, we went to a wristband for the first time all season.

Speaker 5 So I'm in charge of putting the wristband together. So I'm on the bus to the stadium, reading the call sheet, reading the wristband to just make sure it all matches up.

Speaker 5 Because my biggest fear in my life, obviously, is they call it a wristband number two, and it's a different play. So I was like, that entire game, I'm scared to death.

Speaker 5 How many times do you think we use that wristband in the game? Zero. Zero.
So all that stress that brought the gray out of my beard.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I mean, that was a stressful game. I also have a theory on that game.
Adrian Peterson took a picture.

Speaker 1 I think it was either earlier in that day or the day before eating french fries on Bourbon Street, and then he fumbled fumbled twice.

Speaker 5 Anyway, you're saying greasy fields?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I do. I really do think that that matters.
Yeah. You can tell me I'm dumb, but those things matter.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we turned the ball over too many times. I think we fumbled going in once.
I think we maybe turned it over four times.

Speaker 5 We're handing the ball to Percy Harvin a bunch. That was the crazy game, and then they changed the overtime rules, if you remember, because we didn't touch the ball.
They got the ball.

Speaker 5 They had a big third and one conversion that they got, and then they kicked that walk-off field goal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so, all right, so other famous Vikings moment.

Speaker 1 Were you the one who puked when Teddy Bridgewater hurt his knee and passed?

Speaker 5 No, but I was coaching the tight ends at the time. And on that play, the tight end was coming across the formation.
And my biggest fear was that the tight end clipped

Speaker 5 legs clipped heels with Teddy. And luckily, watching the tape, it was non-contact.

Speaker 5 That was horrible. And

Speaker 5 what that resonated with me is like, Teddy is one of the most amazing people. Like, his teammates don't like him.
They love him. They adore him.

Speaker 5 So to see him in pain and to see how just nasty that injury was, that took a lot out of the team.

Speaker 5 Coach Zim brought the team right inside. He's like, we can't practice after witnessing that.
Yeah. It'd be impossible.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the real tragedy was we were actually on a plane to come and interview Teddy and Zim. I don't know if you remember us in the building there.
Yeah, we were in the Apple.

Speaker 1 For the next three days, we were in the bowels of your practice facility.

Speaker 1 They were like, how about Blair Walsh? That was literally what happened.

Speaker 1 No one would look at us. It felt like a funeral around there.
It was bad. It was bad.

Speaker 1 Teddy is.

Speaker 5 The expectations were high. And again, just the person that Teddy is, you know, that's what made it so hard.

Speaker 1 You could tell that everyone just loves Teddy. And we also, the most shocking thing on that trip is we walked in and Mike Zimmer's car was parked in front.

Speaker 1 And he had like, I think it was probably nine or ten bags of red band.

Speaker 7 Conservatively.

Speaker 7 The entire center console was just overflowing with empty bags of red band.

Speaker 5 Ammo on the side of the truck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 I'd like to go back a little bit further, if we could, back to your high school days, because you were a very good football player. Was it St.
Joseph? St. Joe's Prep.
St. Joe's Prep.

Speaker 5 Colleague of your guys.

Speaker 1 Roan. Roan.
Roan. Yeah, Rome.
And Bob Lang. Bullet Bob Lang.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 7 And for a while, Joe Judge. Yes.
So Joe Judge was on your team, right?

Speaker 5 Joe was, we were together freshman year, and then he transferred.

Speaker 7 Because you beat him out for the starting position.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yes.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 That was a crazy time. It's amazing that we played against each other when he was with the Giants.
I was with Cleveland. It was amazing that here, two guys that were in the same class together.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 Joe transferred. He had some stuff going on with his family and he had to transfer.
Now, Joe's older brother, Jim, and I played together. He was, I think, two years older than us.

Speaker 5 But I know that's the story out there, but I will debunk it this time.

Speaker 1 I'll officially debunk it.

Speaker 7 I'd like to continue with my theory that you're going to be able to do. I know you will.
I'm going to beat him out, and I'm just going to pretend that he didn't say anything.

Speaker 1 So, along those lines, I had this conversation when I ran into you on vacation. We didn't vacation together, but I did run into you on vacation.

Speaker 1 You're from Philly, your family's Eagles fans.

Speaker 1 The NFC Championship game when the Eagles killed the Vikings.

Speaker 5 Bringing out all the best ones, thanks to the Philippines.

Speaker 1 Yeah, could you tell some of your family members?

Speaker 1 Could you tell the ride or die people? Like, oh, yeah, you find my cousin. He's definitely rooted in the Eagles.

Speaker 5 Especially my friends, especially

Speaker 5 who's with you and who's against you.

Speaker 5 That was, if you remember that game, I had a good buddy that was at that game that was a Vikings fan, and he was wearing all Vikings gear, which I told him not to. I know that city very well.

Speaker 5 So, sure enough, we go down the field and it's 7-0 after the first drive, and then all hell breaks loose.

Speaker 5 I forget what the final score was, but he was in the bathroom in the third quarter, okay, and he's got his Vikings gear on.

Speaker 5 He says he can feel all the eyeballs on him, and he turns around and he says, Is it still 7-0?

Speaker 1 And that broke it up, and they didn't kick his ass. Thank God

Speaker 1 that's pretty good. That's good to have somebody like that around.
Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 5 That's a tough city.

Speaker 7 Actually, if I were in your position, position, I would expect my family to root for the Eagles.

Speaker 1 I really would.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think, do you ever hear blood is thicker than water? Does that mean that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 But at the same time, like, it's the birds.

Speaker 1 It's the birds. It's the birds.

Speaker 5 I will say this. You know, that was a very hard loss, as they all are.
I am happy for the, you know.

Speaker 5 My uncles, people that growing up that were seasoned ticket owners, like, if it's not going to be you, I was happy for them that year.

Speaker 1 That's fair. So are you superstitious at all?

Speaker 1 Not really.

Speaker 5 No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Okay, because that would explain for for why you didn't sit out the second playoff game after you had COVID against the Steelers, because I would have sat that out if I were you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We gave you credit for that, by the way.

Speaker 7 Have you won a playoff game?

Speaker 1 Technically, yes.

Speaker 5 Maybe no. Does that count? If I wasn't there.

Speaker 1 We gave you credit, and then a bunch of Steelers fans were like, he wasn't even on the sideline. I don't care.
I know this.

Speaker 5 That it was the most surreal.

Speaker 5 Now, it happened the next year, but it wasn't a playoff game. I missed the game we were playing the Raiders at our place, but I can't describe to you how weird it was.

Speaker 5 Like, out-of-body type stuff, where you're watching your football team play in a playoff game. You're in your basement, you're sick, your family's upstairs.
It was just the strangest time.

Speaker 1 You actually had a quote after that that I love: that you said that it was harder to watch the games than be in the game. 100%.

Speaker 1 100%. Yeah, and that's it.
We get it. We know.
No, I get it.

Speaker 5 I was pacing up and down. I have the call sheet in front of me, which I don't know why, and I'm trying to figure out what they're calling next.

Speaker 5 And when you, that's why if you guys were on the the sideline and you're calling plays, you have the power.

Speaker 5 You can make decisions. So it's the nervous energy is not there when you're in the moment calling plays.
I was so nervous going up and down, just it was incredible.

Speaker 7 How did you prepare for that game as a head coach? You're sick. How much can you actually put into place and how much do you trust your guys to do?

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, I was available to game plan all week. I ran the meetings, you know, from my basement because I wasn't sick.
I mean, well, I had COVID, but I wasn't ill.

Speaker 5 But I was running the Zoom meetings. And And then I did tell the coaches, you know, Mike Priefer was our acting head coach in that game.

Speaker 5 I told Alex Van Pelt, who called the plays, I'm like, do not think about me looking over your shoulder. You guys, just be fearless.
Do what I know you're capable of doing.

Speaker 1 And they did. And so, I mean, it was an incredible season for the Browns.
I know that you have...

Speaker 1 aspirations to take the Browns deeper in the playoffs, but that specific season, getting to the playoffs, like, were you getting stopped at the grocery store and just everywhere?

Speaker 5 Like, thank you so much, coach. Well, I got, it was all before the season, too.

Speaker 5 I can't tell you how many times I was reminded that the team hadn't been to the playoffs since, and I was like, I don't care. I wasn't here for any of that.
You had to suffer.

Speaker 5 Like, I didn't live that.

Speaker 5 So, that didn't matter to me. And then, going to the playoffs, you know, you want to set your bar a little bit higher than just going to the playoffs.
But I did.

Speaker 5 I remember I was going through the airport in Cleveland, and one of the TSA agents comes up and says, Thank you for beating Pittsburgh. That was our Super Bowl.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, no, I went to the Super Bowl to be your Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 But there is something about beating those Steelers.

Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 7 It's nice. Were you the coach of the team when Swagger tragically passed away?

Speaker 5 I don't know. Is that on my record, too?

Speaker 7 I think it is. I think it is.

Speaker 7 The mascot Swagger passed away, and then they had an open casket funeral for the dog. Is that true? And then they brought in.
Yeah, it is actually true.

Speaker 7 They live streamed it on the internet for some reason. These are the things that we care about as fans.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's sometimes stunning to sit next to somebody that's in charge of the actual team, and we talk about all this dumb shit, and they're like, I have

Speaker 1 no recollection of that.

Speaker 7 That didn't cross my desk. And I'm like, why? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you're not thinking about this. Yeah.
So, all right, so after, I have two games for you that I want to know what your instant reaction was after we'll do good and bad. Okay, good,

Speaker 1 the Case Keatum throw against the Saints, the Minneapolis miracle.

Speaker 1 How long until you're like, wait, that actually just happened?

Speaker 5 So I'm up in the coach's booth. Pat Shermer is the offensive coordinator.
I'm a quarterback coach. I'm up there.
And my immediate reaction was like, did he step out of bounds?

Speaker 5 Because you're not watching the TV copy. You're watching the field.
And I got people jumping on me, you know, headlocking me, jumping around. And the whole time, did he step out? Did he step out?

Speaker 5 And then obviously, you see that everybody's celebrating. That was totally surreal.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 you don't expect when you're all the way back there where we were, you're kind of like, all right, let's just get in range to throw a Hail Mary.

Speaker 5 Like, okay, if we complete this one to Diggsy, we'll get out of bounds, we'll launch one into the end zone.

Speaker 5 And then, sure enough, he just, unfortunately, the kid made a tough play in the boundary, and Diggsy went right down the sideline.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was insane. And then the bad, the Jets came this year.

Speaker 1 After that, that was a percentage. Yeah, or you win percentage.
It was 99.9. I think it was actually they went final

Speaker 1 on the scoreboard.

Speaker 1 So, so we like, are you just, if I if I were in your shoes, I'd just be sitting in the locker room, like, knowing I have to speak to the team and just being like, wait, what just happened?

Speaker 5 Like, that was a stomach punch. And yeah, same thing.

Speaker 5 I remember getting back to my office and before I talked to the team, like,

Speaker 5 what hurts the most about those moments is it's hard to win in the NFL. It's hard.
And when you have it, and you can feel like you can just touch it.

Speaker 5 And then you're like, I know that's going to come back at the end of the season. That was week two, I think.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And you're like, man, I know at the end of the year, we're going to want that one back. But you got to go talk to the team.

Speaker 5 And I think for me, I'm so aware of the team is looking at me, how I respond. Now, what I'm proud of the team is we came back on Thursday night and won against Pittsburgh.

Speaker 5 So they did rebound, but those things, they stay with, like, that will never leave me. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, there were about 10 things that happened after Nick Chubb scored and a few things before Nick Chubb scored. That will never leave me.

Speaker 1 That's, I mean, it shows how mature and obviously being like a head coach is about being in those moments, everyone looking at you.

Speaker 1 Because I think if I were in your shoes, I would have just walked out, found the guy who didn't recover the onside, like grab him and be like, why? And then just start crying and go into a puddle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there is a part of me that wanted to do that.

Speaker 5 But I just, I know, even how you walk in the building on Monday after a loss, or a win. Like, everybody, as a football coach, you get so many opportunities to stand in front of your team.

Speaker 5 And so much of it is messaging and how you want the guys to feel about a game. And even after a win, like, you got to to sometimes remind them that you haven't figured it all out.

Speaker 5 So I'm very aware of my impact that I have on that.

Speaker 7 So after a bad loss of that, when you address the team, are you doing it to let them see your emotion? Are you doing it to try to give them something positive to build on?

Speaker 7 What goes because you have to have some sort of plan. You can't just go up in front of them and be like, that sucked.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 Although I might try that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what I would do.
Yeah, I mean, honestly,

Speaker 5 everything I do, at least, I just try to be be authentic about. And I've been around different coaches or whatever that maybe act, you know, it's not real.

Speaker 5 And this is, you know, over the course of time, where you just want to be yourself because I think players see right through that. So when

Speaker 5 stuff hurts, like, you got to let them see that it hurts. And when you're excited, you let them see that.

Speaker 5 Now, you know, in the moment, in games, I try to be very even Kiel just because I feel like you're making decisions every 30 seconds. And

Speaker 5 if I start to lose my mind, I don't feel like I can can make those decisions for the team. So I try to keep my emotions underwrap.

Speaker 7 Is there an art to press like pressuring the officials to get in their ear early about certain things? Do you know which guys you can push, which ones you can pull on?

Speaker 5 They have a tough job, those officials.

Speaker 5 Good answer.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 5 I try to,

Speaker 5 you said that.

Speaker 5 I try to be respectful because I know they have a job to do. And then they are human.

Speaker 5 So if there's a play that doesn't go your way, you do want to let them know about that because there's a chance you get.

Speaker 5 I know officials would tell tell you there's no such thing as a makeup call, but they're human.

Speaker 5 So if you let them know how upset you are, there's a chance if there's a 50-50

Speaker 1 ruling, maybe it goes your way. Yeah, no, that's fair.

Speaker 1 What's the dumbest play you've ever created that either did or didn't work?

Speaker 5 I mean, it happens every week where you get on the board and you start putting stuff up and you're like, this is that margin of smart to dumb is so fine.

Speaker 5 And like, for instance, Andy Reid, first bout Hall of Fame coach, Super Bowl winner, unbelievable. Like the stuff he does in the red zone, like, I can't do that.

Speaker 1 You know, you have to win a, you have to have a ring before you win around the rosie and some of that stuff. Yeah, it's candy ass.

Speaker 5 As fun as that is for the players. For us, when it comes to trick plays, that's always like that fine line.
Like, if this doesn't work, I'm going to boo myself. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And there was a game this year playing the Bengals on

Speaker 5 Sunday night or Monday night. Maybe it was Sunday night.

Speaker 1 I think Monday won? It was Halloween. Yeah, Monday night.

Speaker 5 It was Monday night, Halloween. And we had a pass that Amari Cooper threw.
And

Speaker 5 we handed the ball to Nick Chubb. He pitched it to Amari.
Amari's rolling out. We had a receiver running down the boundary.
Amari, their linebacker sniffed it out, is getting ready to hit Amari.

Speaker 5 Amari's trying to throw it away, and it goes directly to Von Bell, like between the two and the four, like perfect interception right to him. And I'm like.

Speaker 5 The boost, I wanted to boo myself.

Speaker 5 But I probably should have known. We try to give those trick plays names, and we called that Michael Myers.

Speaker 1 Oh, Halloween. I like that.

Speaker 5 Maybe don't name plays after like serial kills.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that got you.

Speaker 5 That was a lesson learned.

Speaker 7 You do own Joe Burrow, though.

Speaker 5 We didn't beat them the second time this year.

Speaker 7 Not the second time,

Speaker 7 but historically, you've owned those small sins.

Speaker 7 Is that just like a matchup thing where you guys feel like you match up well against the Bengals?

Speaker 5 I would tell you this. Our division is very, very tough.
I mean, you got,

Speaker 5 I think it's great players.

Speaker 5 I think it's really good coaches, whether it's Cincinnati, you know, going to the AFC Championship game back-to-back years, what Mike T does in Pittsburgh, Coach Harbes in Baltimore. I like that.

Speaker 1 Mike T, Coach Harbs.

Speaker 5 That's a tough division. So

Speaker 5 there's no easy game in our division. I think whoever comes out of the division, whether it's one or two, sometimes three, you know you're going to get a good team because you're battle-testing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 Speaking of the trick plays, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I haven't shared this with any other NFL head coaches, but I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 1 You're going to tell them this? Yeah, I know we've talked about it. Talk about it.
No, I've never heard it either.

Speaker 7 I think I know what the future of offensive football is going to be. The future wrinkle.
It's going to be designed downfield laterals. You see the Chiefs do it occasionally.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 7 But when it's executed right, when it's taught correctly, it can turn a seven-yard gain into a 40-yard gain very, very easily. Obviously, there's fumble issues that could get rid of the reaction.

Speaker 1 You have to make, hey, there's risk and reward.

Speaker 7 There's a risk, but if you watch how, like, for instance, the Fijian national rugby team plays, they're so good at getting tackled, positioning their arms around the tackler, knowing where their guy is, offloading to that guy, and it's an explosive play.

Speaker 7 And I feel like the next head coach that understands how to incorporate that into football is going to just revolutionize the NFL. Okay.

Speaker 5 Challenge accepted.

Speaker 5 So the hook and lateral has been in the game for a long time. What you're saying is like Kelsey in the playoffs,

Speaker 5 the ability to get the defense to converge and pitch it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you draw in the defenders, so you bring in three guys that are trying to tackle you. There's a guy on his hip.
They're not keying on that guy at all.

Speaker 7 If you're able to pitch it to him real quick,

Speaker 1 if you coach it and you crack it.

Speaker 5 You can pitch it to the next ball carrier. Is he allowed to pitch it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right. So pitch a pitch.

Speaker 1 That's what the Patriots a lot against the Raiders.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it worked out really well.

Speaker 1 So don't do that. That's not what I'm talking about.

Speaker 7 Actually, the first offload on that play was good. Yeah, it was.
Then don't throw it all the way across the field afterwards.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'll tell you, option football, I mean, we've seen in the Super Bowl, I mean, Kansas City has run the option overtime with what Philly did with Jalen Hurts with the quarterback running game.

Speaker 5 I do think there's probably a place in the game for the next evolution. Maybe this is it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just think about it. Think about it.
I've thought about it. It's in.
Nice, nice. I got another one for you.
Ready for this? I'm ready.

Speaker 1 Fourth down, fake punt. I'm sure you have a a fake punt in your plan.
You get the first down, you fake punt again.

Speaker 1 They don't expect you to get back to the bottom. They put their defense on the field or they don't know what to do.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 They think that they're like, yeah, they're like, wait, what's going on? We just, this just happened. Are they punting again?

Speaker 5 You probably get them to burn a timeout. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 At least, at bare minimum, you keep everyone, same package on the field, fake punt, boom, line it back up, fake punt again.

Speaker 5 Or you do the punt on third down, which buddy Ryan's famous for.

Speaker 1 Yeah, smart.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 1 These are all really good ideas.

Speaker 5 I'm I'm taking mental notes.

Speaker 7 All right, it's fourth and one. Here's another good one.

Speaker 1 We're close to getting a ring if the Browns win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 When we win the Super Bowl, you guys are getting rings. Oh, yeah.
You just said you said that. Thank you.
Sean McVay made this promise to us, and he welched on it.

Speaker 1 Your beard's way better than I promise.

Speaker 7 All right, fourth down, fourth and one.

Speaker 7 Your quarterback's under center. It looks like he's just going to run the clock.
He's trying to get them to jump, right? So he does all the hard count, all that stuff.

Speaker 7 Then he comes up from under center and he's like, ah, it's not going to work. Then he goes right back under center and you snap it to him.
Interesting. The fake, fake snap.

Speaker 5 I like that.

Speaker 5 And you've also seen where you've seen in the shotgun, you'll see some teams put the quarterback Mahomes will kind of look to the sideline, get their palms up, and they'll sneak somebody in.

Speaker 1 Is it a running back? Is it a cousin of that player?

Speaker 7 Yeah, similar to that, like feigning confusion, acting like you don't know what you're doing. Shanahan actually did something similar with Manzel

Speaker 7 when he was on the Browns, where he was like screaming at Manzel, walks over to the sideline, they pretend to get into an argument, then he runs down the field, catches it.

Speaker 1 And it actually got flagged, but it works perfectly.

Speaker 5 These trick plays, I'm telling you, we call it shithouse or castle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's no in between. Yeah.
I mean, this is what, like,

Speaker 1 the one thing I loved about Bill Cowers: every time he got across the 50, he would just do a trick play on your ass.

Speaker 5 He's just like,

Speaker 5 it's the logo. So when you get around the logo,

Speaker 5 then the defense is aware of that too. So they're trying to protect those shots.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I like it.

Speaker 7 Serious question about growing up. Your dad was the senior vice president for the Nets for a while.
So were you around that team with Jason Kidd, Kidd? All those guys?

Speaker 5 So, that was Kidd. I was in late high school or college when he was doing that.
But I drove up the turnpike. I went to a bunch of those games.
Jay Kidd, Carrie Kittles, Kenyon Martin.

Speaker 5 Keith Van Horn? Keith Van Horn was on that team. They went to the finals two years in a row.
They went, I think it was LA and the Spurs, you know, tough teams that you run into. But I went to Metro.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you're making an excuse for your dad. I am.
Okay.

Speaker 5 But Jason Kidd remains one of my favorite players. I mean, to watch, talk about changing a franchise.
When he showed up at the Nets back then, that just changed everything about their friends.

Speaker 1 So how does that, I mean, like, it's very interesting to see your dad was a high-level NBA guy, and you're an NFL guy, head coach. Like, is he a big football fan?

Speaker 1 And you're a big basketball fan, or was it?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, he grew up. He was a basketball player.
He played in college. So he was good at that.
I was not very good at basketball. I mean, I played it growing up, but he kind of did his thing.

Speaker 5 I'm doing my thing. I think it's helpful for me to have somebody that has been in the sports business that understands like wins and losses and gets that part.
But

Speaker 5 it's not like I got into football because he was in basketball.

Speaker 1 Right. It's just fascinating.
You don't see two very successful and different professions.

Speaker 5 He also thinks he could be a NFL scout. Like he tells me all the time about players and watch out for this guy.
I'm like, what do you know about football?

Speaker 7 Does that get annoying to you having not necessarily your dad, but just people coming up to you and telling you, hey, here's how you should manage

Speaker 1 free advice.

Speaker 5 I had a lot of free advice. Yeah.
Which some of it's good.

Speaker 7 I think I gave you some free advice last year at the combine. I think I told you to trade for Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Hand up. That was on me.
My mistake.

Speaker 1 We've had a long history with Kirk Cousins. He's a very nice guy.

Speaker 5 I love Kirk. Got to coach Kirk for a few years, won some football games with him.
He's a good player.

Speaker 7 What about his grilling technique?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I can't speak to that. I can speak to his quarterback technique, but I'll let him speak for himself on the grilling technique.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're probably too hard on Kirk because

Speaker 1 he's better than, I mean, everyone always like the Bears, he would would be the best quarterback in Bears' history.

Speaker 5 That's a fact. Do you want him back?

Speaker 7 Honestly, yes. Like, that's why I hate him so much.
Because if you look at the stats and

Speaker 7 what he did in D.C. compared to everything else that we've had since then, yeah, Kirk Cousins, my Super Bowl was having Kirk Cousins go 500 over the course of like a three-year span for me.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I was, so I was coordinator for Kirk for really a year and change,

Speaker 5 and I, you know, became a head coach out of it. There's so many guys.
Sean was with, Sean McVay was with Kirk. So Kirk's been with some really good coaches.
So I have to tell you, I'm indebted to him.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 I want to get a headline that we can, all the Cleveland radio stations can run with Deshaun this year and your running attack. Are you going to let it fly or are you going to run the ball?

Speaker 1 Can we do both? No, you've got to pick one or the other.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think offensive football, we want to do both.

Speaker 1 You want some top out, you got to either let it fly or run the ball.

Speaker 7 Minus grade.

Speaker 5 I'll let it fly and then run the ball.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 5 In one game and then flip it the next one. That's a little interesting.

Speaker 1 You're not going to establish the run first.

Speaker 5 That's a fallacy. You don't have to establish a run to throw it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, what about this?

Speaker 7 How about if you let that thing fly and then you run the damn ball?

Speaker 5 How about if I put that on the call sheet?

Speaker 1 Okay, I like that. I like both those things.

Speaker 7 What's your prediction? Everyone's giving us a prediction this year. Your prediction for the Browns.

Speaker 1 Everyone. Literally everyone.

Speaker 5 Can we go undefeated?

Speaker 1 Is that your prediction? Yes, that's what you should aim for.

Speaker 5 I mean, you try to win every game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why is it a fallacy to run?

Speaker 5 I think play action has has been proven that you don't need to have a good run attack or be running the ball to get the linebackers to side.

Speaker 1 I disagree. You've been reading.
So you can't break these from like our fandom and our brains. You have to establish the run.

Speaker 7 You've been reading the nerd website. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a lot of good data behind it. I mean, for us, honestly, going back to just our players, like we're fortunate to have Nick.

Speaker 5 We got David Njoku, who I think is as good a tight end as there is in the league. So to be able to be balanced, I think, is ultimately the best thing you can be when it comes to offensive football.

Speaker 1 Okay, so what's more more important? If you could pick one, you have to pick one. Protect the quarterback or heat up the quarterback? Oh, I'd probably heat up the quarterback.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the right answer. That's the way you win Super Bowls.

Speaker 5 We have Miles Garrett. That's always going to be a big part of what we do.

Speaker 1 What about?

Speaker 7 Yeah, go ahead. I was going to kind of dovetail off that.
How important would you say it is to set the tone?

Speaker 5 That's some coach speak right there. Setting the tone is always good.
You get to set the tone on kickoff. If your first play of the game is either kickoff or kickoff or turn, you get to set the tone.

Speaker 5 You ever heard the tip of the spear? Yes. Six teams tip of the spear.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I like that. If you had to pick between setting the edge and flying around out there on defense.

Speaker 5 Well, I think you need to set the edge so that you can fly around out there.

Speaker 1 Okay, frees up space.

Speaker 1 So when you got the job in Cleveland, did you have a conversation with Miles? You're like, hey, don't take off your helmet and bash anyone?

Speaker 5 You know, fortunately, a lot of that was

Speaker 5 being figured out when I got there. Right.
I will say this about Miles. He's a very, very smart person.
He's very conscientious. I know he learned from that.

Speaker 5 Have you guys had Miles on the show? No, we haven't.

Speaker 5 He's one of the more interesting people I've ever been around.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Interesting. He's really good at football.
And he's really good at football.

Speaker 7 And he hasn't hit anybody in the head with a helmet in three years. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he won't. Yeah, he won't.
Did you tell him that, though? Because that's like a situation where he could be like, you didn't tell me.

Speaker 5 I don't think I needed to tell him. I told him to retire as a basketball player.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Which he took that, you know, and

Speaker 5 he can play in some of those all-star games.

Speaker 7 Yeah, Yeah, that's kind of a compliment to him, though. Like, you watch him play basketball, and you're like, this guy is just so freakishly athletic.

Speaker 7 I'm worried he's going to hurt himself doing something.

Speaker 5 Well, when he was, there was some video of him playing basketball in a pickup game. He was playing against guys that looked like us, no offense.

Speaker 5 I wasn't very concerned that he was going to get hurt in that game.

Speaker 5 But Miles, it's very strange to think about he's from the same species. Yes.

Speaker 5 Physically, how he plays, what he looks like, the speed at which he goes, the way he bends,

Speaker 5 he might be an alien.

Speaker 7 You ever ask him to just put a shirt on? Okay, man, you're making everybody look bad here.

Speaker 5 Hey, just be you. You know, that's a David Njoku or a tight end also likes to go out to pregame with that.
Whatever gets you ready to play that game.

Speaker 1 So we've been giving you a lot of free advice. We've got some more.
The elf in the midfield.

Speaker 7 Brownie. Cursed.

Speaker 1 No good? Nope. We snuffed that out right away.

Speaker 7 Game one. We were like, that's a bad sign.
You lost with Brownie game one. I don't think you bring him back.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I got it. What else should I bring back to corporate?

Speaker 7 That drunk guy that's in the stand that's almost passing out.

Speaker 7 That guy should have a job. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 He should be director of morale.

Speaker 5 Our fans are unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Have you guys been in the dog pound before?

Speaker 7 I've been in the muni lot.

Speaker 7 This was like 2014, I want to say. It was Johnny Menzel's first year, whenever that was.
I went to a pre-game, or excuse me, a pre-season game.

Speaker 7 I went to the muni lot to tailgate, and it was beyond anything that I've ever seen at an NFL regular season game there.

Speaker 3 So I've heard.

Speaker 5 I haven't been been there.

Speaker 5 I don't know that I can ever go to the muni lot. Like, even after a win, I'd be afraid to if you get, well, do you make it out?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 they are one, there's like certain fan bases in the NFL where you're like, those fans, like, I root for them more than even, like, you know what I mean? Like, I want them to be happy. Totally.

Speaker 5 No, we have a passionate group.

Speaker 5 Northeast Ohio, Cleveland, it's a small town. And, you know, some of these towns that deserve a winner, like you want that so badly for them.

Speaker 5 And, you know, going back to the Eagles, my dad was, he was down in Florida, was wearing a Browns hat, and he was talking, a bunch of people were coming up.

Speaker 5 And he's like, these Browns fans are the Eagles fans before we won the Super Bowl. He's like, that is us.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 So that's your mission. They will build a statue of you if you win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would, I'll take the ring.

Speaker 1 You're getting a sweet ring. Well, we'll take a ring.
Actually, no, we'll be getting it.

Speaker 7 Yes, can we get a statue?

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Why not? Done. All right, well, I had one last question.
This has been awesome.

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Speaker 7 My last question.

Speaker 1 So when I did run into you on vacation, I don't know if you remember this moment. I want to apologize, but also say I'm not sorry.

Speaker 1 I met your daughter.

Speaker 1 Her name's Stella, my dog's name. And I was like,

Speaker 1 you said, oh yeah, we're thinking about getting a dog. And I said to your daughter, actually, your dad told me that he's getting you a dog for Christmas.

Speaker 5 So my daughter, Juliet, is...

Speaker 1 Oh, that's not your daughter?

Speaker 5 Yeah, not Stella.

Speaker 1 Wait, how did Stella come up?

Speaker 1 What were you drinking? I don't know. All right.
So I'm an idiot. Maybe we just started talking about dogs.

Speaker 5 Yes, we did.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. So I got that wrong.
But I did promise her a dog from you.

Speaker 5 So when the dog doesn't come Christmas morning, calling you.

Speaker 1 No, that's your fault. It was one of those moments that I'm always in content mode and I forgot I was on vacation, like just chill out for a second.

Speaker 1 So when she said she wanted a dog, I was like, you're getting one.

Speaker 5 Thank you, I think.

Speaker 7 You can just be like, don't listen to that crazy drunk man. Yeah, I've talked about it.

Speaker 1 You're talking about therapy that we're going to have to undo after that experience. Well, I want to double down.
So if she's watching this right now, you're getting two dogs.

Speaker 1 You're getting two dogs for Christmas.

Speaker 5 What kind?

Speaker 1 What do you want?

Speaker 5 I think if you're getting two, you got to go big and small, right?

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 7 So we'll get, like, you got to get a bull mastiff and a pug. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There we go, Pug. That's a good pug.
That's a very funny question. But the real question here is, why aren't you getting your kids a dog?

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 my oldest, this is like weird to say this because I don't want to. He's allergic.

Speaker 5 So am I making him feel bad?

Speaker 7 Well, there's

Speaker 7 really

Speaker 1 a golden doodle or a poop. Put a parallel

Speaker 5 those still have dander. That's still so.

Speaker 5 How anyway, not only do you not know my daughter's name, you yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I fucked up. You want my son to be sick? Yeah, yeah.
No, I fucked this whole thing. You're going to kill his son, big, I just remember promising a dog and being like walking away from the dinner.

Speaker 5 This is going to be a hard conversation with the kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Get him a turtle.
Turtle, why'd I do that? That was really stupid of me.

Speaker 7 Why'd I promise that? Get him a reptile of some sort. Maybe a snake.

Speaker 7 Okay. That would really mess him up, actually.
Probably.

Speaker 5 Don't be a snake guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, don't be turtles. Like, rocket turtles.
Turtle, we'll do that. Okay.
I like that. So, no dog.

Speaker 5 Do you want my son to be sick?

Speaker 1 I mean, they have no heart for that. Yeah, they have allergy pills.
Oh, my God. But your daughter, she wants a dog.

Speaker 5 She does. She usually, when she asks, she usually gets what she wants.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's get her. So we're getting you a dog.
Maybe a dog. This is awesome.
Sorry.

Speaker 7 Sorry, son.

Speaker 1 Yes, sorry, son.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe. Can we wait?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when he goes to college. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 Easy way to sort this out. Which one's your favorite?

Speaker 1 My daughter. Okay,

Speaker 1 dog.

Speaker 5 Anybody who has boys and girls.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's no, that's one. Yeah, me as well.
But yes, yes. Dog.

Speaker 1 It's happening. All right.
Done. We've got it.

Speaker 1 And I actually think this dog will bring you success coaching the Browns. These dogs.
These dogs. Yes, exactly.
Like, you can't be the Browns head coach and not have a dog.

Speaker 5 I'm not going to disagree with that.

Speaker 7 Right. 17-0 next year.

Speaker 5 You said that.

Speaker 5 I think every...

Speaker 1 Let me, yes, you said you were going to win every game. Yeah, sure.
I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 What do guarantees mean in our profession?

Speaker 1 That's true. It gives us a lot to talk about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you guaranteed 17-0.

Speaker 7 Sure. Well, no, and preseason, you said win every game.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That'd be great, too.
What's that? And then, oh, we're playing an extra. We're playing in the Hall of Fame game.

Speaker 1 So we

Speaker 1 four preseason games. Interesting.
Oh, yeah. Joe Thomas.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 7 Dodge of Legends. Would you rather go undefeated in the regular season or go 10-7 and lose the Super Bowl?

Speaker 5 In the undefeated, do we win the Super Bowl in that one?

Speaker 1 No. In that scenario? No.
No, either scenario would win the undefeated. Yeah, so you just did two losing the Super Bowls.

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, the first one would be you lose in the first round of the playoffs, but you're undefeated regular season.

Speaker 7 These are tough ones.

Speaker 1 Man.

Speaker 5 It's hard to think about not two scenarios not winning the Super Bowl because then it doesn't, whatever the scenario, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 You're talking to the two wrong guys because we've had a hypothetical going that we would rather have in the next 50 years lose 15 Super Bowls than win one and miss the playoffs all 49 other years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we would love to lose the Super Bowl. I would love that.
The Bears and Commanders are not good. We'd love to lose the Super Bowl.
That'd be sick.

Speaker 5 That one team. That's what I was saying to somebody earlier.
Like what one of the things that motivates me is just jealousy.

Speaker 5 I'm just jealous. I'm jealous of the guys that have won.
I'm jealous of them. You know, they've had the parade.
They got the ring. Like, I'm very jealous.
I want that so badly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I would love to.
But you guys don't deny that. No, we've got to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 15 NFC championship games. That's pretty cool.

Speaker 7 Yeah, like things that I want. Yeah, sure, I'd love a Super Bowl.
I'd love to have seven unicorns and have rainbows shoot out of my ass. But let's be realistic here.

Speaker 7 I'm not ever going to win a Super Bowl. Right.

Speaker 5 So let's be realistic realistic in your 15

Speaker 7 Super Bowl losses.

Speaker 1 Jobs championship game. Yeah, those are some fun teams.
That's awesome. Yeah.
I think

Speaker 1 you might be too competitive to be a head coach.

Speaker 1 I haven't heard that one yet.

Speaker 1 You've got to want it a little less like us. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's the Pete Carroll School of Thought, compete in everything you do.

Speaker 5 I think that's part of what we do as coaches and players.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we're in the school of thought of compete at nothing. That way you can't fail.
Yeah, or

Speaker 7 only compete in stuff that you know ahead of time you're going to win. Right.

Speaker 1 The NFL rigged.

Speaker 1 I've heard that.

Speaker 5 I haven't read the script for this season. Yeah.
I'm excited to read it, though.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Kevin, thank you so much.
Sorry about getting a dog, two dogs for your family. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you're going to have to do it.

Speaker 7 And thinking that your daughter's name was Stella. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Because we were drinking a dinner, so that was

Speaker 1 a mistake. Yeah.
Yeah. But that's my fault.
So, yeah. Two dogs, 17-0.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Take it into existence.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Good luck this season.

Speaker 7 Next time we sit down, it'll be only Deshaun Questions.

Speaker 1 I'm ready. Thanks, man.

Speaker 5 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 7 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boars Head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 7 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up. We got guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 Henry, get us going. Next Wednesday, we'll do

Speaker 1 March Madness etiquette FAQs. Gambling FAQs, that'll be fun.
Get us ready for the.

Speaker 7 Also, schedule your vasectomies for the first week of March Madness.

Speaker 7 If you haven't, I get one every year.

Speaker 1 It's late.

Speaker 7 It's actually way late. This year, I'm getting unvasectomied, but every year, all guys know.
Time to get that shit snipped.

Speaker 9 They announced the broadcast teams, by the way. PFT, your guy, one and done on the desk, Rex Chapman.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 damn. What a shame.
My guy.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Trying to put lib of the year on me now, Jake.

Speaker 10 I guess he's my guy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it was very funny seeing him on the desk last year because he was not fitting in at all.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay, Hank.

Speaker 3 Hi, boys. I recently hooked up with a guy who's smoking hot.
This is a dude.

Speaker 3 It was casual, and we haven't really spoken since, which I'm cool with.

Speaker 3 But I'm invited to a friend's birthday party where my ex will be, and I want him to make him jealous.

Speaker 3 Should I text this new hot guy and invite him to come, or will he think I'm obsessed with him and clingy? What do you guys think?

Speaker 1 Fake.

Speaker 3 Hi, hey, boys.

Speaker 3 When my boyfriend showers, he doesn't wash his entire body, just his hair, junk, and chest. When I asked him about it, he said that the runoff took care of everything else.

Speaker 6 is that common practice for guys or is he a weirdo if he doesn't do his armpits then that's that's true i would add armpits don't work what do you mean wash

Speaker 3 what uh let's unpack that you don't wash your armpit tank that's the only one that was missing if you have b o and you use soap from the shower yeah it does not work what are you talking about you wash your armpits and then you put deodorant on afterwards right if you don't put on deodorants after you still smell like shit correct but you start sweating.

Speaker 7 But

Speaker 7 you get all the stinky sweat off your armpits when you wash them. Please tell me you wash your armpits.

Speaker 1 Armpits don't work.

Speaker 3 Of course I wash my armpits in the past.

Speaker 1 Weather is not real. Armpits don't work.
The Henry Lockwood method.

Speaker 6 What do you use under your armpits?

Speaker 3 Deodorant. But I'm saying.

Speaker 1 No, no, but soup.

Speaker 6 You do soup, hotel soup.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 That doesn't get it done in your armpits?

Speaker 3 Not if you don't use deodorant.

Speaker 7 You'll smell good for an hour or two.

Speaker 1 Like, all right, all right, all right. Yeah, you do need.

Speaker 7 Let me talk this out.

Speaker 1 Let me expand. Let me expand.
Let me expand. You need both.
Let me expand.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go off, go off. And we actually do have to do PFT's gift to you as well.
So that might just be guys on chicks.

Speaker 3 Hear me out. You have hair, right?

Speaker 1 Yes. We all have hair.
We're fine.

Speaker 7 For the time being.

Speaker 3 If your hair smells, let's call it normal. Okay.
Baseline, no smell. No smelliness.
It's not clean. It's not dirty.
You put in shampoo. Afterwards, it smells nice.

Speaker 3 Your hair hair smells nice like that shampoo.

Speaker 7 When you wash your hair, it smells nice. Okay.

Speaker 3 When you wash your armpit hair,

Speaker 3 the smell does not stick.

Speaker 1 It doesn't do anything. Because you'll sweat.

Speaker 6 Are you using wood barstool branded?

Speaker 1 Wait, no, but it's not. It's not because you sweat.

Speaker 3 No, I'm saying take a shower.

Speaker 1 After you smell your armpits, it doesn't stick.

Speaker 3 No, take a shower, dry off, smell your armpits five minutes. If I may, if I may.
It's not smelling the way your hair smells with shampoo.

Speaker 7 If I may, when you wash your armpits, you're not

Speaker 7 shampooing your armpit armpit hair. The stink comes from your sweat glands that are in your armpits.

Speaker 3 You are shampooing your armpit hair.

Speaker 1 But you don't have sweat glands in your hair.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you sweat from your armpit, and so that's why you're on the side.

Speaker 3 And as long as you're not shampooing your armpit's hair, yes, you are.

Speaker 1 He might be right.

Speaker 7 But that's not where the stink's coming from.

Speaker 1 Hank might be right.

Speaker 7 The stink is coming from the sweat glands.

Speaker 3 But when you stink from the conversations, this is not about stink. This is about if you, again,

Speaker 3 use shampoo in your hair, and you will be able to smell the shampoo in your hair later in the day.

Speaker 7 Is that because maybe there's more of it?

Speaker 3 Use shampoo in your armpits, you will not be able to smell that.

Speaker 7 Because one, there's more hair on your head, and two, because your sweat glands in your armpits make it stink.

Speaker 3 You are, the stink is breaking your brain. Remove stink from the conversation.

Speaker 7 You're talking about.

Speaker 1 There was no stink, PFT.

Speaker 3 Forget about the stink. I'm saying you need deodorant to make your armpits smell good.
You don't need deodorant to make your hair smell good. You just need the soap.

Speaker 3 Why can't you use that same soap and it makes your armpit hair smell good?

Speaker 7 Because you sweat through your armpits.

Speaker 1 Remove the sweat from the conversation.

Speaker 1 You can't have this conversation. You're asking me why it's dead on your head.

Speaker 3 You shower, you shampoo your armpits, you get out, you dry off, no sweat involved. You don't break a sweat.
You go back in the bathroom 10 minutes later, smell your armpits.

Speaker 7 It smells like nothing. You know what's happening right now, Big Cat?

Speaker 7 I'm J.J. Reddick, and he's Kinder Clark.

Speaker 1 Well, I was going to say that.

Speaker 7 I'm trying to explain it to you, but I'm realizing that you are sounding more correct than I am.

Speaker 1 I was going to say the biggest winner of this entire debate is Billy, because now the dumbest thing that we talked about on the show is not his presentation.

Speaker 1 Congrats, Billy.

Speaker 1 I'm actually now getting it to a 4.0 balls. Hell yeah.
Hank, he's an 80.

Speaker 7 There's less armpit hair, and so when you shampoo your armpit hair, there's not as much hair for it to retain the good smell of the shampoo.

Speaker 3 Then why can it retain deodorant?

Speaker 7 Because the deodorant sticks to your pores and clogs up your pores.

Speaker 1 I personally don't have the answers for you, Hank, so I'm going to say you're right. This is actually

Speaker 1 this will prove it.

Speaker 6 Hank, girls who shave their armpits still can get B.O.

Speaker 3 Remove the stink from the conversation.

Speaker 1 There was

Speaker 1 no shampoo. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 7 I don't know how to remove the stink from a conversation about why things smell bad.

Speaker 1 I never helped me on bad. Help me on something.
It just doesn't help me. It doesn't smell good.
It doesn't smell good. There was stink.

Speaker 6 So scent.

Speaker 1 You're talking about scent. No, you don't.
No, that's adjacent to stink.

Speaker 6 You're talking about the positive version of stink.

Speaker 1 Hank. Talking about.

Speaker 8 Fragrance, fragrance.

Speaker 1 The fragrance. The smell in your head.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Shampoo it smells good. Uh-huh.
Hair in your armpits. Shampoo it.

Speaker 7 Doesn't smell good. Do you think that's because there's maybe like, I don't know, 1% of the hair in your armpits as there is on the top of your head?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm with Hank. I mean, not for you.
I'm with Hank. He can't.
Oh, that was me.

Speaker 7 No, I mean, I already brought it up, so Hank's just.

Speaker 1 Hank, I'm with you. Be creative, Hank.
Don't have an answer to that. It's okay to not have an answer.

Speaker 3 I appreciate your open mind. The armpits.
But you did call it stupid, so.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, no, this is.

Speaker 7 It's very dumb. This is very dumb.
This might be the dumbest thing that you've ever said.

Speaker 1 No, I was saying the debate is dumb, not what you said, because I don't have an answer to what you said.

Speaker 6 Are straws a hole?

Speaker 1 That was a pretty dumb one. Okay.
Two holes.

Speaker 1 Hey, do you want to do another guys and checks, or should we just do the present? Let's do the present. Yeah, all right.
Yeah, yeah. We're going to

Speaker 1 cancel some of that.

Speaker 7 Hey, Billy, Billy, what you saw right there, main difference between Hank and you, Hank put down the shovel.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, I mean, I'm right, but it's Hank.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying you're right. I'm not saying you're wrong.
I don't like

Speaker 3 that.

Speaker 3 It's the chapstick thing, which people, like, it's like the same thing.

Speaker 3 They design these products so that you have to buy other products. Yeah, that's a fact.
There should theoretically be a soap that you can use that is also

Speaker 6 deodorant.

Speaker 3 you don't use five in one like i've been in places where i forget my deodorant i'm like i'll use shampoo soup and it'll make my armpit smell good and it doesn't work yeah because you sweat but remove the stink i got it

Speaker 1 pft what did you get hank no but like

Speaker 7 sorry all right whatever whatever i got i got hank a bunch of right guard You need something to open.

Speaker 1 Did you open it already?

Speaker 6 $200 without seeing it. So you take the deal.
So this is

Speaker 6 a lot of people

Speaker 7 Let's set the table here.

Speaker 7 I lost a bowling match against Hank by a considerable amount. Considerable.

Speaker 7 And then I tried to double down on it because the bet was that I would buy Hank $100 worth of Southwestern merchandise in Arizona.

Speaker 7 I lost the second game, doubled down, so that now that we're up to $200 worth. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Spilled water all over everything.

Speaker 1 I report. Do we have something to do? Oh, there's dip in it.

Speaker 1 Give us a towel. It's not dip in.
There is

Speaker 1 that was.

Speaker 1 The FT's not messy, just so we know.

Speaker 7 I'm not.

Speaker 1 This happens all the time on this side.

Speaker 7 It's a giant box. This is the first time I've spilled anything in here.

Speaker 7 So it's actually $400 worth of Southwest merchandise. I'd like you to open it.

Speaker 7 You also get $200 that you can take from Billy right now.

Speaker 6 Only if I get it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You can either get what's in the box

Speaker 6 or $200.

Speaker 1 Okay, thanks. Coming over to open it.

Speaker 1 Careful. I think you need a screwdriver here.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it came in a shady wooden box.

Speaker 1 So we're going to have to break the box.

Speaker 7 What's in the box? It's fragile. Yes.
Mark fragile.

Speaker 1 See the screws? That's.

Speaker 5 He's untaping it. Be sure to watch this on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Actually, Billy, can you run into the control room and get their hammer?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 They have a hammer in there. Where's the axe?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, where is the axe? Axe it open, Billy.

Speaker 7 I took it away from Billy. This is your big moment.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Billy.

Speaker 7 I didn't think he was prepared to handle an axe.

Speaker 1 That's not gonna work. But it was a nice try.

Speaker 1 Hey, Hank.

Speaker 7 What do you think it is, Hank?

Speaker 7 Throw it.

Speaker 7 There we go. Kind of seasy.

Speaker 1 I'm a man.

Speaker 1 Fucking just broke that box. Hope everyone's watching on YouTube.
What?

Speaker 7 Don't get splinters.

Speaker 1 Oh, shh. Shut up, Jake.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 1 Well, I just opened it.

Speaker 7 We already got Billy.

Speaker 7 The axe is no longer necessary.

Speaker 1 I did it with my hands, Billy. I wish you had seen how strong I looked.

Speaker 1 Watch on the YouTube. Alright, he's unwrapping it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think this is the gift.

Speaker 1 It's a giant dildo.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 What is it? It's always bad when you- Oh! I love these bubble. Oh, look at this, Hank.
Oh, it needs to be assembled. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 It's already assembled. Oh, my God, Hank.
This is beautiful. It's a, what, some kind of skull?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 7 It's a cow skull. And then, wait, Hank, it does.
You need to put the horns on.

Speaker 1 That's fucking sick, Hank. How metal is that?

Speaker 1 What do you think Hank?

Speaker 1 Good job not taking Billy's $200.

Speaker 1 Billy, did you know what it was? Yeah. Oh, that's bullshit.

Speaker 7 Billy really wanted it.

Speaker 1 Hank. This is sick.

Speaker 1 You actually like it? Yeah. All right, I'm glad.

Speaker 3 Some nice home decor.

Speaker 7 Would you have taken $200 for it?

Speaker 1 No, I like this.

Speaker 1 What if that is the

Speaker 1 thing that makes him good at the lottery ball? It's actually haunted. Okay, good.
Because I was going to say, we're going to... What is it? If Hank...

Speaker 1 Hank, if you get the lottery ball this time, I'm smashing that. Deal? No.
Yes.

Speaker 3 You have to buy it from me.

Speaker 1 For $200?

Speaker 1 $400.

Speaker 5 $200.

Speaker 1 No, no deal. Okay.
You're not going to get it anyway.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You want to say anything about it?

Speaker 3 It is a skull. It's got some cool designs, some blue stones, very Arizona vibes.

Speaker 3 He did a great job with the bet. And now I will Venmo you

Speaker 7 $1,300? $1,300.

Speaker 1 $1,300.

Speaker 3 Well, the commander's bet.

Speaker 7 The commander's bet, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's going to happen. That's going to hit.

Speaker 7 That's just future. That's money in the bank.
I might take a loan out.

Speaker 1 That's a great investment.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Great show, everyone.

Speaker 1 We did everything in this show. I feel like it was took many twists and turns.
Very fun show.

Speaker 1 Hank, have you ever gotten the lottery ball?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 okay,

Speaker 1 numbers 69.

Speaker 3 17 17.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're back on 17.

Speaker 1 Are you deaf? What did you guess last week? On Monday? I forget. What do you guess? I don't know.
I don't record guesses. Anyone remember? Damn.
I'm going to go. Come on, tell me what you guessed.

Speaker 1 I'm going to listen to that. 15.
I think it was 15. Was it 15? Was that last for Anthony Richardson? Oh.

Speaker 1 Was it?

Speaker 3 Yeah. He's plus 350, by the way.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll go 15.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go

Speaker 7 20. 77.

Speaker 1 I'll never forgive you, PFT, if he gets it on this one.

Speaker 1 85.

Speaker 1 What's your name? Damn.

Speaker 1 Not even. The more things change, the more they stay the same, right? Try to name this thing.

Speaker 1 Breaking moves. Never gonna get it.

Speaker 6 Breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Name it never gonna get it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Love you guys.

Speaker 8 Platypuses have a poisonous spike in their back leg.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 I don't know what

Speaker 8 to say. I'll say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is a model day to finally shy.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I won't say it's about me. So let it a way.

Speaker 1 Still I learned that life is okay.

Speaker 1 Say of me

Speaker 1 still better to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Say you're for me

Speaker 1 to be safe and sorry.

Speaker 1 Dream only.

Speaker 1 Dream only

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 1 Just a play that worries away.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 And you're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 You're shy and away.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll be coming for you

Speaker 1 Take only

Speaker 1 I will

Speaker 1 take only

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 I'm I'll

Speaker 1 drinking only

Speaker 1 me.