Christian Yelich, An Insane Sports Weekend Recapping CBB, Fury/Paul, Russ Wilson Postmortem And More Plus Lottery Ball Drama

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Christian Yelich

Speaker 1 back on the show. A huge mistake by me and PFT.
For longtime listeners, they know that we have a bet. that we will get into with Christian Yelich that we've had for about four or five years now.

Speaker 1 This was a mistake because we love Christian Yellich. We actually ran into him randomly on the side of the street.
We're like, dude, come back on.

Speaker 1 But now everyone's going to talk about this again, and we have just resurfaced the bet. But great conversation with him about baseball, spring training, new rules, everything.

Speaker 1 Getting kicked out of games. Awesome interview.
We're going to talk a little weekend sports. We had an insane college basketball Saturday.
Jake Paul versus Tommy Fury.

Speaker 1 LeBron, 23 most important games is

Speaker 1 going right now.

Speaker 1 And, of course, we got Who's Back of the Week? Great show for you.

Speaker 5 Man, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 6 When you're hungry out there, you start acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game, making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in, man.

Speaker 6 That thing is packed. Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate.
It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 6 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this.
Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 6 Snickers satisfies, man.

Speaker 5 That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I love some work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out on washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all of the sounds. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to electric avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to electricity. Pardon my take.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 1 we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Monday, February 27th.

Speaker 1 And boys, there is a lot of sports this weekend. A lot of things to discuss.
I don't know where. Choose your own adventure.
Where would you like to start?

Speaker 1 Because I actually have a list of things we can discuss. Yeah.
Why don't you say what? Here, I'll number them real quick.

Speaker 1 All right, say a number one through four.

Speaker 2 Seven.

Speaker 1 Seven.

Speaker 1 Okay, seven.

Speaker 1 Bull riding. Okay, bull riding.
Yeah, it was sick weekend for bull riding. Canadian Bulls.
Yes.

Speaker 2 It's like the opposite of the Stanley Cup. Yeah.
Right now, Canadian Bulls are dominating the PBA circuit. All the way back to the city.

Speaker 1 It's a PBA PBA spelled EH. Yes, yes, PBA.

Speaker 1 No, we had an awesome weekend of sports. Actually, why don't we start with the fact that Saturday in college basketball felt like a March Madness day.
It was absolute chaos.

Speaker 2 Nine-ranked teams lost on Saturday.

Speaker 1 And the way they lost, and I want to say a quick shout-out to one of, because I think the,

Speaker 1 when we talked to Titus last week and talking about how we missed Coach K,

Speaker 1 college sports, obviously everyone has their teams wherever they went to school, everything like that.

Speaker 1 But a lot of college sports, because the players change every single year, is about the program and the coach. And Saturday, I'm a big believer in the little signs and the butterfly effect.

Speaker 1 I think Saturday we got the chaos all because of Fran McCaffrey's stare down.

Speaker 1 From that point on, the day just went off the fucking rip.

Speaker 2 There's nothing like a good old-fashioned coach just staring at a referee so close and neither one of them was going to walk away.

Speaker 1 They both stepped up. Yeah.
It was incredible. It was just, so if you missed it, Iowa, Michigan State, Iowa's losing all game.

Speaker 1 Fray McCaffrey is a very angry coach. He's probably top three angriest coaches in college sports.

Speaker 1 He got into, it was in the middle of a timeout. He used, instead of coaching up his team, he decided to go walk and stare at the ref standing on the baseline with the ball.

Speaker 1 He started about 10 feet away from him, and he slowly got, they didn't say a word. It was like Madison Bumgardner and Joe West didn't say a word to each other.
A good solid 25-second stare down.

Speaker 1 Both of them stepped into it and then finally Iowa coaches, assistant coaches were like, Fran, you're going to get kicked out of this game. And then...

Speaker 2 You can't get kicked out of a game for looking, though, for not using your words, for just

Speaker 2 the only way possible for a stare down like that to end with both sides saving face and neither side feeling like they lost is if they just continued to get closer and closer until they just kissed.

Speaker 1 Yeah they had to kiss. They had to kiss.
And then break it up.

Speaker 1 But and then so the reason why I say that his stare down started the chaos, Michigan State was up 13 points with a minute 31 left and Iowa won the game by six in overtime.

Speaker 1 It was absolutely chaotic, an insane scene. And then we went on.
We had Florida State down 25.

Speaker 1 They beat Miami on a buzzer beater, which was just a brutal, like the guy hits, Miami hits a three to to go up two with like four seconds left he's doing the like are you not entertained Florida State just inbounds the ball right back in his eye three buzzer beater we had Arizona State buzzer beater that was awesome awesome airs and it was pure from half court and that was Arizona was leading by 10 with 630 left we had Indiana swept Purdue for the first time in 10 years we then I stayed up all the way till I saw well congrats to Purdue for winning the big 10 yes on a loss they won the Big Ten.

Speaker 1 Yes, they did. They did.
That was...

Speaker 2 At least a share.

Speaker 1 But as we say on this podcast, that's a win. That's a win.
That's a Big Ten.

Speaker 1 And then we had late into the night. Like it was like 12.30 at night.
I was watching on my phone in bed with my headphones in San Diego State Buzzer Beater to beat New Mexico and Rick Petino Jr.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, the pit was rocking. But it was just like, it felt like one of those days where it really did feel like a tournament day where it was just non-stop action.

Speaker 2 Every two hours, another crazy result happened and it was a nice reminder on like when we're starting to get our feet wet with all the other sports oh yeah college basketball fucking rules this time of year sometimes the sport just knows when they have the spotlight yeah this was the first weekend where truly college basketball could be like okay it's our season major league baseball tried to upstage them with spring training games with the giant bases that they have and i'll be honest the bases do look awesome yeah on tv thank you rob man for listening he's got his finger on the pulse of seam head nation yep The bases really do it for me.

Speaker 2 So good job on that one.

Speaker 1 And baseball has its own moment right now because they're just trying to figure out all the new rules and it is absolutely chaos.

Speaker 1 We had a game end today in a tie because you can tie in spring training on a violation, a shot clock violation for the hitter.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, not stepping into the box. We had a couple of those this weekend, too, and the games are going way faster.

Speaker 2 It's like two hours, 20 minutes per game as opposed to like two hours, 50 minutes per game. It's chaos.
Our old spring training games. Now,

Speaker 2 I've got my guy that drafts for me every year for the CMET Express. He's the guy that he was in a fantasy league that he used to dominate that ended up having two future actual baseball GMs.

Speaker 2 So this guy, Corky, knows his shit. He is projecting right now an average decrease in pitch velocity this year of 0.02 miles per hour because the new shot clock rules.
So

Speaker 2 keep that in the back pocket. We're going to see slower fastballs this year.

Speaker 1 And also a lot more steals, too, I would assume, because of the rules, the pickoff rules. You can only go twice.

Speaker 2 And the bigger bases. Yeah, and the bigger bases.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll get into more of that with Christian Yelich. We also just shout out Keith Hernandez, who it's spring training for the announcers, too.

Speaker 1 He was calling a spring training game between the Mets and the Marlins. And Marlins player Jazz Chisholm, he introduced as Chaz Jishol,

Speaker 1 which fucking rules.

Speaker 1 This is just a great name.

Speaker 2 Is he holding in right now, Keith Hernandez? Because I think that he had some contract disputes, right?

Speaker 2 Keith Hernandez was, he was like, I'll go to a different team. I don't care.

Speaker 1 No, he just, he consulted with his cat, who is, I don't know if this is knowing too much about Keith Hernandez, which is just following him online, but he has a cat.

Speaker 1 He might have multiple cats, but I know he has a cat. And his house, he's set up like it's a, it's like basically if Exhibit did a pimp my ride for a house for a cat.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like there's a bunch of like weird shelves. There's actually an entire shelve that goes the length of his ceiling that the cat can just climb around and like walk.
The cat just walks around.

Speaker 1 He's like a Walenda brother. I love it.
Just walking around the house.

Speaker 2 I love it. Here's a take that I'm going to squad on.
Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. That's why he's messing up names.

Speaker 1 But I mean, is it really a mess-up? Because Chas Jishm is just a Hall of Fame name.

Speaker 2 It's a better name. It's a way better name.
It's a way better name.

Speaker 1 Someone's got to have that porn star name.

Speaker 2 So baseball tried to steal away the spotlight, but college basketball was incredible.

Speaker 2 UNC got their first quad one year. Yes.
Or quad one way of the year

Speaker 2 against UVA. Yes.
So UNC's back. You mentioned Rick Petino Jr.
Rick Petino is sneaky, still a great coach. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Rick Petino, his name is going to be mentioned in some bigger jobs that are going to open up.

Speaker 9 St. John.

Speaker 10 Got to win the MAC tournament, though. It's all the majority of the match.

Speaker 1 The MAC. The MAC.

Speaker 7 Can you please say it correctly?

Speaker 1 St. John's.
Yeah. Seriously.

Speaker 1 There was a push by St. John's fans

Speaker 1 to have Rick come and coach St. John.
I mean, it would be great.

Speaker 2 The Red Storm

Speaker 2 once every 28 days.

Speaker 1 Did you just fire Jim Baheim?

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't have to be this year. It doesn't have to be this year.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
When the time comes. When the time comes.
What about this?

Speaker 2 What about this? Because we talked with Mark Titus last week about how frustrating it is the fact that Duke basketball is not hateable. Why don't we just get the Patino to Duke train going?

Speaker 2 How nice would that be?

Speaker 1 Hanks, he's looked up. He's ready to be.

Speaker 11 John Tyre is a good guy.

Speaker 1 Great guy. Great guy.
Great guy.

Speaker 2 Is he winning basketball games?

Speaker 1 Well, they did. They kicked the shit out of Virginia Tech.

Speaker 11 They're going to make the tournament in year one.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, that's not Duke. They're supposed to be Duke, Jake.
That's what you can always say.

Speaker 1 Oh, and speaking of hot seats, Cal is off the hot seat. Kentucky is hot.

Speaker 1 They killed Auburn.

Speaker 2 Oh, what about Petino to Ole Miss?

Speaker 11 Sure. He just fired their coach.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He loves Ole Miss. That'd be nice.
He loves young Misses, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Got all the Petino puns out.

Speaker 1 BFD just emptied his college basketball clip with Petitos.

Speaker 2 No, I'm just excited about Petino getting a big job.

Speaker 2 I think the time is right for him to get back. He's been laying low for long enough.
The sport's better when Rick Petino is patrolling the sidelines in a major conference.

Speaker 8 He should just go back to Louisville.

Speaker 1 They're the worst team in the ACC.

Speaker 2 It would make too much sense. It's gone awful.

Speaker 1 I actually saw a game in person, LIU versus Merrimack, which it was very funny because I went to the game. There was,

Speaker 1 you walked in for free. So I was like, oh, they didn't charge.
No, I was confused. Just walked in with my son, watched the whole game.
After the game, let him run on the court.

Speaker 1 And then, like, all Merrimack's staff was just like, what the fuck are you doing here? And then one guy on Merrimack came up to me. He's like, you know, Ken Palm.
And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's like, we're actually the number one defense. No, Merrimack's the number one defense.
LIU is 363. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 They've won three games all year.

Speaker 1 So bad.

Speaker 1 So bad. But I guess Merrimack is the number one defense in terms of turnovers.
And so that's nice. Shout out Merrimack Hoops.
There we go.

Speaker 1 He was like, it was just very funny that he pulled me aside and was like, you know, Ken Palm? Number one in defensive turnovers. Hang the banner.
Yeah, like that's a subset stat.

Speaker 1 I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2 I mean, if it was a great college basketball, if I was number one ranked anything in the world, you better believe I'm pulling that stat up all the time.

Speaker 2 But college basketball was awesome this weekend.

Speaker 1 And Caitlin Clark on the women's side.

Speaker 11 You see that buzzer beater? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
That was a good one.

Speaker 2 Rutgers. Shout out Rutgers.
Big comeback against Penn State. I bet on Penn State.
That was unfortunate.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess I should do. I was going to be my who's back, but

Speaker 1 Wisconsin just is.

Speaker 1 It's been torturous to watch them this season. The Hunter Dickinson, the one guy you can't have who's been basically being the heel all year.
He hits a three when they should have fouled.

Speaker 1 They tried to foul at half court at the possession before, but everyone's like, they should have fouled. They should have fouled.
They should have fouled.

Speaker 2 Greg Gard said that he did give the call to foul on that possession. I'm not talking about the

Speaker 2 one that you're talking about.

Speaker 2 But also on the last possession, Greg Gard was telling his team to foul.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 And apparently they were trying to, but they weren't fouling hard enough. It was a bad job of fouling.
And then Hunter Dickinson put the ski mask on. It was bad.

Speaker 1 Big buzzer bad. They are one and one against the Badgers this year, so I don't.

Speaker 1 That was. He was like, he.
Hunter Dickinson put out an Instagram post being like, I stood by everything I say.

Speaker 2 The Badger killer.

Speaker 1 You went one and one. He's the Badger killer.
Yeah, you went one and one, and it was two pretty tight games. But I, so I had a tweet after, and I just,

Speaker 1 here's what I don't understand. So, obviously, we wear our heart on our sleeves as sports fans.
I

Speaker 1 am 38. I should be more mature than this, but I'm not.
I'm being honest. I'm being vulnerable.
I absolutely let my team's success dictate my mood. I was very upset, grumpy, mad,

Speaker 1 all those things. My question to you, PFT, is why can't I

Speaker 1 be a grumpy, triggered bitch after my teams lose, and everyone else can?

Speaker 1 I think I should be able to be like, I, if anything, people should be applauding the fact that I'm a grumpy, triggered bitch after my teams lose because I could easily just remove myself and be like, oh, well, I'm, you know,

Speaker 1 I got a lot of things going on in my life. I got, I'm successful.
I don't need to care about a bunch of 18-year-olds playing basketball on a Sunday. It's kind of your job.
But I do.

Speaker 1 Well, no, but I would care. Even if it wasn't my job, that would have ruined my day.
So

Speaker 1 the way I look at it,

Speaker 2 you'd rather care way too much than be completely numb to it. That's the danger that you live in if your teams are just consistently bad for a long time.

Speaker 2 So if you still feel pain, that actually means that you're still expecting good results.

Speaker 2 It's once you stop with that expectation that you're just numb and you're used to it, and then you just lose all interest in sports. You don't want to get down that road.

Speaker 2 I also think that there's something to be said for having sports be your outlet as a guy

Speaker 2 to be able to get emotional about stuff. It's like it's a free space.
It's a safe space for us to get triggered at because if you let...

Speaker 2 those emotions seep into other parts of your life, then that's bad. But now you've got this one outlet

Speaker 2 where you start stinking. They do.

Speaker 2 But the reason why is because of sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. They send the whole day in a sprout.

Speaker 2 That's good. I think that's a good thing for you to have.

Speaker 1 All of our listeners, our lovely AWLs, I guarantee when your team loses, you're a grumpy-triggered bitch online and in person. Let me have the same.

Speaker 1 Let us be the same. Let me lash out and be upset for a little bit because I was upset.
The way they lost upset me.

Speaker 1 It ruined my day. Because you can't, if they had just lost in a regular loss, I would have been able to deal with it.
But not fouling, up three with a second and a half left, that ruined my day.

Speaker 2 And it's Hunter Dickinson, who's who's been

Speaker 2 trying to jokerify himself this year. Correct.
He's been doing like a half-assed version of method acting, turning into Heath Ledger. But this was actually like the Joker-ish response.

Speaker 1 The one time it actually worked well. It worked.
It worked well. And they're going to lose to Illinois and Indiana, so they probably won't even make the tournament either.
Yeah. Two bubble teams.

Speaker 1 It's just, I just, just afford me, again, I think that people should applaud the fact that I still let a bunch of fucking kids, they're just kids, playing a basketball game on a Sunday afternoon, ruin my day and maybe my week and possibly my week.

Speaker 1 Like this one could have ruined my week, yet to be seen, how I wake up tomorrow morning. People should applaud that I still care when I could just be like, oh, fuck it, who cares? It's just a game.

Speaker 1 So just afford me the same right that you have to just be, you know what I mean? I know people, when they get upset, when their team loses, they just go and and they argue with people online.

Speaker 1 It's an outlet that we all need.

Speaker 2 You know what you need. You need to get on that burner life.
The burner life really changed the game for me. I'm going to do it myself.

Speaker 2 It's so fun to just to get anonymous and just reply to a major reporter's tweet or like a final score tweet and nobody even knows that it's you. It's so good.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I just like to do it myself, though.

Speaker 1 I like to just be myself and let you know I'm vulnerable. I bleed just like you.

Speaker 2 I'm getting into a dark place.

Speaker 2 And the reason why I brought up the being numb to things is because that's kind of a personal situation that I'm I'm anticipating going through very soon because you you experienced it with the Bears this year even before the season started no expectations whatsoever with the Bears I found myself in a place where

Speaker 2 the next year I really don't have anything to look forward to sports-wise

Speaker 1 at all we're the same yeah no no no no I was thinking about this independent of you.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about how sad it is that the best thing that's happened to me in my sports life this year is that the Bears were the worst team. Yeah.
That's literally the best thing that's happened.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, the best thing that's happened to me in the last calendar year is the report that Dan Snyder was going to sell the team, which looks like it's not even going to happen now.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I've got the Nats. They're going to stink.
The Caps are selling everything. They stink right now.
I've got the Wizards, kind of, but I'd never care about them. And then Dan Snyder is sticking around.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I'm a DC Defenders guy now. 2-0.
DC Defenders 2-0, first place in the East. PFTO.

Speaker 1 We need to stick, we need to be like

Speaker 1 Boondock Saints when we're back-to-back, just fighting everyone, because the Hanks of the world, these people who just come running around, or even the almost winners, the Maxes of the world, they can laugh in our face.

Speaker 1 I did the same calculation in my head. The Cubs might be frisky, but let's be honest, they're not going to do anything.

Speaker 1 The biggest story for the Blackhawks has been just waiting for Patrick Kane to get.

Speaker 2 Best player ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like the best American hockey player ever.

Speaker 1 Oh, when is he going to get traded?

Speaker 1 The Bulls signed Pat Bev, who is a culture changer, but the peak now is to

Speaker 1 make the playoffs and lose in the first round. That's the ceiling.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the Bears have the number one. Again, the best thing that has happened to me,

Speaker 1 the Badgers are on the bubble and probably out. And the best thing that's happened to me this entire year is that the Bears are the worst team in the NFL.
Yeah. but that's the same thing.

Speaker 2 But that is a very good thing, though. That's a very good thing.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 The best thing,

Speaker 2 I guess I'm just going to have to be a full-time Smash golf club.

Speaker 1 JMU wins away. No, they can't play.

Speaker 1 No, they can. No, this is not.
They were D1.

Speaker 2 I'm going to blame this on Hank's misinformation because

Speaker 1 they moved college. College Hank,

Speaker 1 they were still D1.

Speaker 2 It was Hank that said that because he gets everything wrong in college basketball.

Speaker 2 It was, so JMU, when they moved up into the Sun Belt in football, they had a one-year postseason ban. When you change conferences in basketball,

Speaker 2 you can still do that. So, JMU and the colonial.
Yeah, they can still win the Sun Belt in the business.

Speaker 1 Oh, you can't be fair.

Speaker 2 I literally

Speaker 1 fucked it up. I told like 400 people.

Speaker 1 I was walking around all week just telling people that. So, the four seasons.

Speaker 2 I look like such a fool. I know, I know.

Speaker 1 I was like, hey, did you know JMU can't make it?

Speaker 2 I know. That's what everyone's been telling us.

Speaker 11 There's 10 teams ineligible in college basketball.

Speaker 1 Oh, Merrimack's one of them. Yeah, Merrimack.
They pointed that out. It's a four-year thing.

Speaker 2 Their turnover rate's too high.

Speaker 1 Four-year thing.

Speaker 10 Actually, last year, Bellerman won the A-Sun tournament and they couldn't go dancing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a bullshit.

Speaker 2 Another piece of Brandon Miller news also happened this weekend. Yeah.
When he came out on the court for pregame introduction, his teammate patted him down when he stepped out of the court.

Speaker 2 Now, he has been doing that all year, and it's a pretty common pregame introduction thing where they pat you down like you're stepping into the octagon. But as Nate Oates said, not great optics.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and when you say bad optics, that's just a code word for being like, it was bad.

Speaker 1 It was bad.

Speaker 1 So, Brandon Miller, like, they, again, they do it every time. I kind of figured that when I saw the, like, the intros, like, this is probably planned.
It's like a handshake, whatever. Uh,

Speaker 1 he's an 18-year-old kid. This, this portion, I'm not going to talk about the other stuff, but this portion, he probably didn't think twice, like, oh, I probably should do that.

Speaker 1 Nate Oates is a fucking douchebag. Because Nate Oates is like, he said in the comments, he was like, yeah, I don't really watch the pregame.
That's not part of what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 And then he realized, like, oh shit, this is another situation where I'm doing a boys will be boys. Yes.
And he shut it down in his own brain mid-sentence and was like, Yeah, we'll stop doing that.

Speaker 1 It was bad. Like, Nate Oates, just have a little common sense for your team.
You're coaching 18-year-old kids. You have to be the common sense.

Speaker 2 Yes, he's the brain.

Speaker 1 He is the adult in the room.

Speaker 2 Exactly. It's like if LeBron James got busted for distributing fentanyl, I would imagine that he would stop doing the chalk toss at the scorers table pregame.
Correct. But he's an adult.

Speaker 2 He's a father of three.

Speaker 1 Right. Brandon Miller.

Speaker 2 Yes, maybe.

Speaker 2 You know what? I'm just going to say, I think Brandon Miller probably should have not done that.

Speaker 1 He shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 2 I will say that Brandon Miller, just because you're 18 years old, you should probably not do the weapon package.

Speaker 1 Agreed. But you also, Nate, I'm going to put a lot more blame on Nate Oates for all this in terms of how he's dealt with it.

Speaker 2 I would say, yeah, in this circumstance, a bad guy. I would say 40% Brandon Miller's fault, 60% Nate Oates' fault.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 All right. So wait,

Speaker 1 when we talked about football there for a second, I had a thought that popped in my head, talking about how bad our teams are. And I want to throw it out there as long as this is the trust tree.

Speaker 1 So maybe no one repeat what I'm about to say outside of these walls. I had a thought that popped in my head.
It's a scary thought. It's something I don't want to happen, but I also

Speaker 1 have played it out in my head, and it would be kind of exciting.

Speaker 1 The Bears trade the number one pick. We all expect that.
If they don't, they should just burn the whole franchise.

Speaker 2 It's a smokescreen.

Speaker 1 The Bears trade the number one pick.

Speaker 1 The Bears also trade Justin Fields.

Speaker 2 Then you just get loaded.

Speaker 1 They have like eight first-round picks. And here's the reasoning.
And again, I don't want this to happen. Justin Fields is the guy.
I'm just saying this.

Speaker 2 You would become the Falcons. Your entire team would become familiar.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying this. I'm just saying this

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 there is a theory out there when you're talking about like the Eagles, Jalen Hurts. The Eagles were able to load up because they were able to take advantage of a cheap contract with a quarterback.

Speaker 1 The Bears are in a weird situation where they have to get kind of good this year to see if Justin Fields really is that franchise quarterback.

Speaker 1 I think he is, but you have to, there still is some holes in this game. I'm fully admitting that.
So you have to get kind of good to get to that point.

Speaker 1 And then...

Speaker 1 To get to that point, you would then be in year four and start running the clock on like, now you're getting really good but now you have to pay him a lot of money what if they said we've wasted two years of this financial flexibility of a young quarterback what if we just strip it all the way down and get all the picks and have all the cap

Speaker 1 and kill williams drake mays coming up i would you do that again i do not want this to happen the thought came in my head because this is what we do as stupid sports fans where you're just sitting on a friday night and your brain is wandering what you're watching a movie and you're thinking like, what if the Bears do this?

Speaker 1 That's literally what was happening.

Speaker 2 The problem with that is if you're the GM of the Bears and you hit that big reset, then

Speaker 2 you put yourself on a clock, too.

Speaker 1 It's the craziest move. No, no, it's a crazy move.
It's a crazy move, but it also

Speaker 1 you could talk yourself into how crazy it is.

Speaker 2 You've been watching draft day.

Speaker 1 It's so crazy. It might be smart.

Speaker 12 By this logic, are you basically saying that the quarterback position is like the running back position and it's almost interchangeable?

Speaker 2 Billy, that's what we've started. We started that take like a month ago with Brock Purdy.
It's like you don't even need a good quarterback to be good at quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 No, no, you still need a very good quarterback. But there is a, like,

Speaker 1 it is pretty clear. You either have a really great quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow, Josh Allen, like whatever he's got.
Geno Smith, Geno Smith, Tyler Holloway,

Speaker 1 you have a very good quarterback, so he doesn't have to be all world great, but a very good quarterback on a cheaper deal, and you can load up around him.

Speaker 2 But then I would point you to recent history and look at teams that have won Super Bowls and look at their quarterbacks. Patrick Mahomes.
They're pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they are pretty good. But Stafford.
But I would then point to you

Speaker 1 and say teams that lost Super Bowls, they went through this model. Joe Burrow.
Jalen Hurts. Jimmy Garoppolo, I guess he was a little more expensive, but not as expensive.
Yeah, no, it's actually

Speaker 1 a great way to lose a Super Bowl. To get to a Super Bowl and lose to a better quarterback.
To lose a Super Bowl. But

Speaker 1 you wouldn't take losing a Super Bowl right now? Oh, I'd love to lose a Super Bowl. I would love to lose

Speaker 2 it. If I lose the Super Bowl, that's dream serve.

Speaker 1 Actually, I mean, if you told me I could lose the next three Super Bowls, I'd be like, sign me up. Yeah, I mean, that's title.

Speaker 1 That means I can win three NFC championship games? Yeah,

Speaker 2 holy fuck. That actually, that would total up if you have three seasons in a row losing Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 It means that you have, what,

Speaker 2 18 months of pure joy in your life over the next three years?

Speaker 1 Including, depending on if you get the buy or not, you have like, I don't know,

Speaker 1 like seven to nine playoff wins.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The Bills had, they had no idea how good they had it in the late 80s, early 90s.

Speaker 2 They had some great football up there, some great home games in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is true. I mean, now they're semi-back, but like

Speaker 1 you wish you'd known it was the good old days when the good old days were happening. Yeah.
Because there was a bleak

Speaker 1 25 years in there.

Speaker 2 Losing Super Bowls would be so fun right now. The Cowboys would kill to lose Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones to do anything.

Speaker 12 What do you say, Billy? Who's your quarterback then?

Speaker 1 Next year.

Speaker 1 It's a total

Speaker 1 reset of everything.

Speaker 1 Again, I don't want to do this. I think Justin Fields is very good.
I think they should keep him.

Speaker 1 My official stance is if the Bears don't trade the first-round pick or the first pick overall for more picks, everyone should be fired. And I want to keep Justin Fields.

Speaker 2 Justin Fields also.

Speaker 1 Kale Williams and Drake May are both very, very good quarterback prospects.

Speaker 2 We glossed over

Speaker 2 Justin Fields, who was on the show, but he did say he hates playing in cold weather

Speaker 1 and heads. Justin Heights.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and he loves Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 What if you trade Justin Fields, keep the number one pick, and take Anthony Richardson?

Speaker 1 Oh, shut up. That's the point.
Don't do that. No, no, no, no.
No. Just throwing it out there.
No. That would be awesome.

Speaker 12 Why would you waste the pick? Go deeper. Max Duggan.

Speaker 1 No, fuck you guys. Fuck you guys.
No, it would be trading Justin Fields for multiple first-round picks, trading the first pick for multiple first-round picks. And then you have...

Speaker 1 Basically, I'm saying I want the process.

Speaker 1 Because I always have thought that as much as everyone made fun of the process, the process was fun because it gave a very clear strategy to the fans being like, here's the plan.

Speaker 1 Because that's what happens a lot in sports: a team will tank, and then like

Speaker 1 a team will tank, and then the owner will be like, fuck this. I don't like this anymore.
Like, we have to start doing better.

Speaker 1 So then they sign a bunch of contracts that aren't very good, and they get marginally better. I liked being like, hey, we suck.
We're going to suck.

Speaker 1 But oh my God, once we get to the promised land, it's going to be incredible.

Speaker 2 You know what's funny is we can. The process didn't work.
We can argue. So that's the thing is, like, we can talk about whether the process worked in Philadelphia.
But I'm more of a process guy.

Speaker 2 So I'm actually going to take the side of the process of the process process worked. Yes.
The results of the process did not work. The picks.
Because

Speaker 2 the process was in place. You just happened to take Ben Simmons and Markel Fultz with your first set

Speaker 2 instead of Jason Tatum. Whereas if you just appreciate the process of the process, it works.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he did everything that was planned. It's just the actual picks are the hard parts.

Speaker 2 We're getting double processed on this.

Speaker 1 That's where it's like this move that I just...

Speaker 1 talked about for the Bears would be very stupid because the actual like plan of finding the players is the hard part getting the picks anyone can get a bunch of picks that's how the celtics team was basically constructed they had like three years where we just had going into the draft it was like we have 15 draft picks and then danny would just trade them for other draft picks right and you guys and then eventually now we're danny age even admitted that he thought it was like it was actually kind of some luck because he didn't think that the nets when they traded kg and paul pierce to them would be as bad as they were and you guys are losing nba finals which is the dream get to a final and lose yeah not for me, but that's your guys'

Speaker 8 goals. I understand.

Speaker 2 Did you not have fun last year? No, I did. I get it.

Speaker 1 That was a fun ride for you.

Speaker 2 It was an amazing ride.

Speaker 1 You think about it. But I want.
You close your eyes and think about how fun that spring summer is.

Speaker 8 I've experienced it.

Speaker 8 I don't want to

Speaker 8 rain on your parade. I know what you guys want.
It's not as fun as winning, but it's still fun.

Speaker 1 Very fun.

Speaker 8 But once you win, it's like you just want to win. You guys have to get to that point.

Speaker 2 We had to taste it? Yeah. Yeah.
No, we're losers. We are officially losers.

Speaker 1 I'm actually

Speaker 2 losers that in our wildest dreams of winning, we still lose.

Speaker 1 That's the best thing.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm trying to think of what's a fair hypothetical. Like, if for the next 50 years, I said that

Speaker 1 your team can win one Super Bowl, but the rest of the 49 years, they won't go to the playoffs. That would suck.
Or in the next 50 years, your team can lose 15 Super Bowls.

Speaker 1 I would take one.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know, dude.

Speaker 2 Because what a run that would be.

Speaker 1 Losing 15 Super Bowls is kind of a mini dynasty.

Speaker 2 You get to go to.

Speaker 2 Like, just think about how fun Super Bowl week would be.

Speaker 1 This is the one.

Speaker 1 Because we've actually, this is great because we both had the thought about how bad our teams are independently, and then we've stumbled upon this hypothetical that just shows how rock bottom we are.

Speaker 2 I actually think that the highlight of my next year in sports is going to be being ecstatic when Christian Yelich loses the home run derby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't when he says back. Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 7 Man.

Speaker 1 Billy, do you feel bad for us as Bears and Commanders fans?

Speaker 12 No, not anymore.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, cool. I actually had some kid come up to me.
I can't remember, maybe it was Super Bowl week. And he's like, I wanted to fuck, I'm a Jets fan, lifelong Jets fan.

Speaker 1 I want to fucking fight Billy in that moment.

Speaker 8 We were riding high.

Speaker 12 We were like cheese heads and green bars.

Speaker 2 But it never, that's right. It was after that.

Speaker 1 Come on. Yeah, it never.
It'd never be that high.

Speaker 2 I was thinking about Aaron Rodgers' darkness retreat that he just got out of a little bit more over the weekend. I think it's the same thing as doing a death simulator.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was just simulating being dead for a prolonged period of time.

Speaker 1 But it wasn't even that long of a time.

Speaker 2 But I think like your body, if you just don't see any light for two, three days at a time, you probably get that DMT hit. Your body thinks that you're dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But again, he went for two nights.
Yeah. That's the craziest part.
Oh, we had, we did have, we also had Russell Wilson, more Russell Wilson, like clean up.

Speaker 2 The post-mortem.

Speaker 1 The post-mortem. Yeah.
It's just basically any Russell Wilson hater just keeps getting like

Speaker 1 a new video just dropped on UPorn. Come read it on the athletic.
Russell Wilson had his own office, and everyone thought it was weird.

Speaker 1 So basically.

Speaker 1 Talked about how everything fell apart in this past year.

Speaker 1 Said that he asked for an ultimatum on his way out before the Seahawks got traded. He asked for Pete Carroll and John Schneider.

Speaker 8 Is that right?

Speaker 1 Is that his name?

Speaker 1 To get fired. So basically, you know, them or me situation, the Seahawks smartly were like, well, okay,

Speaker 1 you're gone, and we'll get a bunch of picks for it. Went to

Speaker 1 Denver, had his own staff in the building, had his own office upstairs,

Speaker 1 and teammates were like,

Speaker 1 he told us all he had an open door policy. Yeah.
And one of the anonymous sources was like, you know what's an open door policy? Being at your locker? Yeah, a locker. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Everyone has an open door policy.

Speaker 1 It is very bizarre to go up to your team's being like, just so you know, you can always come and talk to me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no shit. Upstairs.
And also make an appointment with my manager to see if I have time. So he's on his own floor.

Speaker 2 Like, it's, it was like the Bernie Madoff thing, where you have that's the secret floor where all the bad shit happens. Yeah.
So it was like him and Hackett upstairs.

Speaker 1 And all the coaches.

Speaker 2 And the uh, the side, he had a whiteboard that was as big as the wall where he would just write motivational quotes on the wall for himself to read decorated like it was home goods and uh the players could come up to the second floor if they wanted to and before hackett was fired did he have office hours he did have office hours before before hackett got fired latavius murray reached out to sean payton and asked sean payton like hey sean come to Denver, me and my backfield teammate, we want you there.

Speaker 2 And Sean Payton was trying to think of like what other running backs on the team he could be talking about. He's like, what, who are you talking about? He actually wrote him back.

Speaker 2 He's like, who do you mean? And Latavia said, number three.

Speaker 2 Which that was the week before they got their ass kicked by the Rams. Remember when Baker dropped like 51 on him? Yeah.
That was that.

Speaker 2 So Nathaniel Hackett was still the coach of the team while players on the team were reaching out to Payton and saying, hey, Russ and I want you to coach this team next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 I actually went away feeling bad for Nathaniel Hackett. I would like to get him back on the show.
I was thinking about it. Just to be like,

Speaker 1 if he could laugh about it and be like, yeah,

Speaker 1 I wasn't ready for that job. I think it would be fun.
But

Speaker 1 his biggest crime, Nathaniel Hackett, was he walked into a situation where he just wanted to please everyone. And he wanted to please Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 And he wanted to kind of be his buddy, not his dad.

Speaker 2 That's what you get. Yeah, first-time head coach.
You don't come in and you're not going to lay down the law.

Speaker 2 He said he wanted it to be like collaborative and that Russell Wilson wanted it to be kind of the Kyrie Irving model on the Nets where the players helped coach the team.

Speaker 2 So it was Russell Wilson that was installing his own plays along with the help of his quarterback coach.

Speaker 2 And they were giving input on what the play calls were going to be to Nathaniel Hackett, who's like, cool. Yeah, you know, I'm not like the other coaches.
I'm the fun coach. Right.

Speaker 2 You can come talk to me.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 I'm cool. I want you guys to succeed.
So that didn't work at all. Now Peyton's coming in and Peyton's going to be like, okay, new sheriff in town, get your quarterback coach out of my facility.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be calling the plays because that's what I do as a head coach.

Speaker 1 I also love that

Speaker 1 he was basically

Speaker 1 at the, I think it was the last two weeks of the season, they got rid of Russell Wilson's office because they're like, maybe this is a bad idea.

Speaker 1 Little, little, too, too little too late, I'd say. Yeah.
I mean, in that situation.

Speaker 2 Do you think he had his name on the door?

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 They probably said Mr. Unlimited.
Yeah, Mr.

Speaker 1 Unlimited. Please come see me if you need anything.
Yeah. Like, that has to be the most awkward situation to be like.

Speaker 1 Like, imagine if i walked in one day was like listen anything you need you can always come to me like no we're we're teammates dude what are you talking about yeah like that's what he was doing yeah he was teammates just so you know like i'm yeah i if you have any concerns yeah just give me a call it's just gonna be me and our hr rep and we're just gonna you know talk like normal guys pft if you if you need me to do a quick run-through of the ads with you before we tape the show i'm happy to do that that's awesome it's very that's very very thoughtful of you no shit his teammates are like, what the fuck is this guy on?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, yeah,

Speaker 1 that was a cool story to read.

Speaker 2 I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to access some more content on my Athletic Premium Plus account to get the details you guys don't get.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have Athletic Premium. Do you?

Speaker 2 But do you have Premium Plus?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it gets the podcast.

Speaker 2 No, the credit check. His credit check, it's $4.99 a month, $400 a month.
What do you mean? I just get all the information, the secret stuff that's like...

Speaker 8 buried deep. Got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You probably...
No, I probably don't have that.

Speaker 2 You need a letter of recommendation from three current subscribers and one editor. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And yeah.

Speaker 1 There's like a blood oath ceremony, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. We're not actually.
Hank, can you delete this part from the podcast?

Speaker 5 I'm not allowed to

Speaker 2 violated my NDA.

Speaker 1 I actually do like the athletic. It is funny, though, that

Speaker 1 not funny because people lose their jobs.

Speaker 1 I saw that dork, Stuart Mandel, who hated the barstool sports bowl, like saying that

Speaker 1 the Pac-12 is losing and losing RSN. Or no, teams are losing RSN.
So

Speaker 1 Bally sports isn't going to cover this team or whatever the day that the athletic he's the college football editor the day the athletic lost the writer for the wash for Washington Huskies and Virginia Tech hokies like the the idiocy of him to say that be like look at all these teams they're losing uh great coverage while they're because the athletic needs to they just need to do more Russell Wilson stories because I'll always read that that's this is my favorite part of the athletic actually is the post-mortems that go on they did one with urban meyer last year

Speaker 2 I love when things are happening, it's like we always think about hard knocks. Yep.
I can't wait to watch this on hard knocks later.

Speaker 2 When shit gets super dysfunctional with NFL teams, I just can't wait to see that like real clean font from the athletic come out in three months where they talk about all the shit that went down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we just did an ad for them, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, Stuart Mandel, you're a dork.

Speaker 1 You are. You're a dork.

Speaker 2 I'll put out some screen grabs from my Premium Plus stuff on Twitter so you don't have to subscribe to them.

Speaker 1 I'll pass that along remember when he tweeted about how uh upset he was and aghast he was that the the vaunted bull

Speaker 1 uh world was getting like sullied by by the understool sports name and you just owned him you're like yeah it's not like we have a bowl sponsored by the company that kills people with bombs. Yeah,

Speaker 1 Lockheed Martin.

Speaker 2 Lockheed Martin's business model is to figure out how to kill as many people as possible as efficiently as possible.

Speaker 1 But damn, those guess-ed-ass guys have a bull now. Yeah.
This is the end of the world.

Speaker 1 That's dork behavior. It is dork.
I'm not saying anything mean about him. He's just a dork.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Oh, should we talk about Jake Paul, Tommy Fury real quick?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll be honest.

Speaker 2 When it comes to Jake Paul fights, I don't really care about Jake Paul, but I am interested in watching the hype that's been built up around him and specifically fighting a trained boxer really for the first time.

Speaker 2 And I can put that in quotes for Tommy Fury because Tommy Fury's opponents leading into this fight had a total record of 24, 176, and 5.

Speaker 2 That includes Yevgenius Andrevsius, who had a lifetime record in boxing of 10,

Speaker 2 102, and 3.

Speaker 2 He's lost 102 professional boxing matches.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's hard to do.

Speaker 2 And then Kalim Ide was 0-26-2.

Speaker 2 And then Presmyslaw Bienenada was 2-26, and then another guy that was 0-12.

Speaker 1 And this is what happens in boxing. You obviously, they do this a lot with any young boxer.
They want to get you as many wins as possible before they challenge you with someone legit.

Speaker 1 I was the skip bailis tweet for this fight. I was wrong about being wrong because I've always stood on the stance that Jake Paul, like, it's nice what he's doing.

Speaker 1 The minute he fights a real boxer, he will get beat.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, I didn't think Tommy Fury was a real boxer because I saw him fight in Cleveland and he fought Jake Paul's sparring partner who was like eight inches smaller than him and he struggled for four rounds.

Speaker 1 So that was my miscalculation. Yeah, I mean, but I was right about my original take that once Jake Paul fought a real boxer, he would lose.
I just didn't think Tommy Fury was a real boxer.

Speaker 1 So now my updated boxer rankings are Jake Paul last, Tommy Fury second to last.

Speaker 2 Jake Paul is like the best amateur boxer in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or one of them.
You should fight Bobby Lang.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like that would be a great fight.
Or Billy.

Speaker 12 Yeah, or Billy. I'd take that fight.

Speaker 1 No, shit. No, shit.

Speaker 12 Holy fuck.

Speaker 12 No, no, no, no, against Jake Paul.

Speaker 1 You should fight Bobby.

Speaker 2 You should fight Bobby. No, I don't want Billy to die.
No, come on, bro.

Speaker 1 I don't want Billy to die. Come on, guys.
But yeah, I always

Speaker 2 never fight a cop.

Speaker 1 He's a cop, right? Yeah, I never fight a cop. He's not a cop.

Speaker 1 I always thought that Jake Paul would lose when he went up against a real opponent because it's just boxers are different like hand speed, all these things. And

Speaker 1 it just, unfortunately, I didn't think Tommy Fury was a real boxer.

Speaker 12 I was wrong. His bet paid off, basically.
Him dodging him for that one fight, that whole drama around getting a green card, basically, because he was connected to organized crime with the Fury family.

Speaker 12 Like, that dodging him for all that time paid off for Tommy. And, like, Haseem Rockman would have killed Jake Paul now looking back.

Speaker 1 Any boxer. Yeah.
Any boxer.

Speaker 12 Like they were doing that weird weight stuff with Haseem Rockman. And he's like, they're basically trying to make me like not be able to rehydrate back to the full weight.

Speaker 12 Jake Paul was trying to mess with Rockman pre-fight so that he couldn't perform to his best in that fight.

Speaker 12 So I mean, it does set up the perfect rematch because I think more people are going to be interested. This is,

Speaker 1 I don't want to see a rematch at all.

Speaker 1 Because at the end of the day, I watched it and I was like, these guys both suck. Yeah.
So I do not, I'm not interested in a rematch.

Speaker 12 I mean, bad boxing is still good visuals.

Speaker 1 Really bad boxing

Speaker 1 is different.

Speaker 1 Rough and rowdy coming up on Friday night. That's

Speaker 1 funny.

Speaker 12 Yeah, March 3rd. Because

Speaker 1 you don't know what to expect. Like, actually, the worst

Speaker 1 rough and rowdy bouts, I think we have 20-plus fights on Friday night. It's going to be incredible in West Virginia.
Every single time we do a rough and rowdy, it's so much fun.

Speaker 1 Usually, the fights that are the least entertaining are the guys that know how to box the best. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Because they know how to defend themselves and they're trying to set up the jab and stuff. So,

Speaker 1 when you have guys who actually know what they're doing a little bit, like Jake Paul and Tommy Fury, but they aren't good enough to be great boxers, snooze fest.

Speaker 2 Wait, didn't Drake put 400 grand on Jake Paul? Oof,

Speaker 2 yikes.

Speaker 2 I think maybe I might have made that up. Hank, you're saying yes.

Speaker 1 Is he poor now?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Drake's poor.

Speaker 1 He's poor now. Poor.
He's a broke boy.

Speaker 1 Memes like that one.

Speaker 12 The conspiracy, the conspiracy part of Twitter, the same ones that said Tyron Woodley.

Speaker 2 Do you mean you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 12 Look, I am now, you know, giving the warning that this is a reply, guy, reply, guys.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 1 It is funny that we basically, you know, after January 6th, they had all those articles being like the making of someone who was like in QAnon. Like, how did this person get here?

Speaker 1 We're playing that out live every time Billy's in the face.

Speaker 12 Billy's brand new. But you know how it.

Speaker 1 Like, you see the devolution of a fighter.

Speaker 12 No, but the people were talking about the Tyson Fury fight. There was a lot of people who said, and Anderson Silva.
They were saying, like, oh, their fixed fight.

Speaker 12 They're saying that Jake Paul, in order to sell the next fight, purposely knew that it would be bad if you won this fight.

Speaker 1 No, see how that makes zero. That makes zero.

Speaker 12 No, but it sells the true.

Speaker 1 It sells the because no one wants to watch it.

Speaker 2 No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
Because

Speaker 2 this was going to be a fight for Jake Paul to prove that he can beat a real boxer. And then he would get a real real boxer boxer afterwards.

Speaker 2 So this just kind of like it pops the balloon of Jake Paul's growing like profile in boxing where now he has to go back and start over from scratch.

Speaker 2 And so no one out there can actually say with a straight face that Jake Paul could compete in professional boxing.

Speaker 1 And I watched this match. I watched the whole fight and at no point was like, I want to see this again.

Speaker 12 I think casuals might.

Speaker 12 I think the storyline's better for a second.

Speaker 1 For a second? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because if he beats it, I'm opting out on the second one.

Speaker 2 that's like they would probably sell more for the second one than the first yeah that's what I think so I don't know I don't know so diving into Billy's conspiracy

Speaker 2 because we didn't even talk about the Austin Silva fight you can you can like you can spin that either way though depending on where you're at I don't think that there's a massive conspiracy like A.J.

Speaker 2 Brown's tweet did you see that on Friday where he said that we haven't been to the moon because we've never been back to the moon imagine if the U.S.

Speaker 2 government sent people to the moon like every month people be like why the fuck are we spending millions of dollars to go to the moon instead of spending that money back here you can play that either way to be a conspiracy so like billy with your point if if jake paul had if if he had won this fight i'm telling you right now that his next fight would be much much bigger but now it's that he lost then you could just pull it out of your ass and say well no his fight's gonna be better next time because it's a rematch no but like for example we didn't talk about the anderson silva fight he had like this this tommy this matchup is the most profitable matchup for him that he's had but he would have gone to another boxer after this.

Speaker 1 Who do you think?

Speaker 1 He would have kept... It would have...
What PFT is saying, and I agree with, like, Jake Paul's, the entire premise was he's going to shake up the boxing world by slowly building up to real boxers.

Speaker 1 This was his first real boxer, and it's...

Speaker 1 What was the records of guys that he beat him up?

Speaker 2 Yeah, 24, 176, and 5.

Speaker 1 Like, if he had beaten him, then he gets another step up, then he gets another step up.

Speaker 12 But I don't think the next step would have been as big of a market of people wanting to buy it. Maybe.
That's what what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I just know personally, I did not. Yeah.
I watched it and I was like, if this happens again, I don't. Because

Speaker 1 the reason why I tuned in this time was to be like, can Jake Paul beat a real boxer?

Speaker 12 Also, he threw way, like, his punch output was so low, Jake Paul, in the fight. It was like he was

Speaker 12 Tommy had 350 punches. He only had 157.

Speaker 1 I mean, it probably, when you fight a real boxer, it's probably a lot harder to

Speaker 1 time it and also be like, fuck, I could get hit at any moment.

Speaker 12 And a guy your size and age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I feel like no one won that one. Yeah, well, that fight.
Jake Paul. I like Tommy Paul.
I always like Tommy Fury, so you do? I'm happy, yeah. You're a big Tommy Fury guy.

Speaker 2 Watch that.

Speaker 8 I watched his season of Love Island and I wasn't, you know, not a huge reality guy, but I got sucked into it and I actually liked him a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, by the way, Hank, since we're on you, before we get to Who's Back of the Week and Christian Yellowstone.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Would you like to talk at all about you just stomping on the grave of Philadelphia? They've already been buried in a Saturday night.

Speaker 1 Credit to the NBA, these Saturday night games are fun to watch. Like, they do a good job with the matchups and everything.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 just a perfect way for Philly.

Speaker 1 Like, the Embiid shot was so fucking crazy and it didn't count. Jason Tatum is an absolute ice-cold killer.
How do you feel knowing that you just killed a bunch of people that are already dead?

Speaker 8 I feel great. I mean, my rivalry with Philly is really rooted in the Celtics and Sixers.
Obviously, there was a Super Bowl a few years ago that kind of, you know,

Speaker 2 what happened?

Speaker 8 The Eagles beat the Patriots, but the Patriots have also beat the Eagles, so that's just a 1-1 match. But, you know, me and Max's contention and shit-talking is always around the Celtics and Sixers.

Speaker 8 They've had a lot of playoff matchups in the past few years, so it's a very fun rivalry to watch. The Celtics win every single time.
They were down like 15.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's why it's fun for you. Great, great

Speaker 8 fourth quarter comeback. Great Brad Stevens, you know, out of the timeout call.
They asked him afterwards, like, how'd you come up with that? He just said, I stole it from Brad.

Speaker 8 And then Embiid, that was, when he hit that shot, I was like, no fucking way.

Speaker 2 And then it was just a second, second.

Speaker 1 He knew it, too. He was in the locker room before they even reviewed it.

Speaker 2 You remember, I think it was last year or two years ago when Embiid had that one full court heave from

Speaker 7 basically almost

Speaker 1 winning.

Speaker 2 He now has two of the best last-second misses of all time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was so cool. And Max is still on vacation.
I'm going to call him real quick because he was upset that you were meming him so hard.

Speaker 8 Not even hard. You know, I saved, obviously,

Speaker 8 the Eagles losing the Super Bowl. There were some very, very funny memes made by the AWL.
I saved a couple of them.

Speaker 8 And then when they lost, it was so recent that they were just at the top of my camera roll.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is still on vacation.

Speaker 1 The biggest takeaway from that game.

Speaker 1 A Sixers or Celtics playoffs series would be.

Speaker 1 If you're rooting for content for this show, it would be.

Speaker 8 It'd be us versus versus Max because of Blake, right?

Speaker 1 Insane.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 1 I would just

Speaker 1 watch you guys just kill each other.

Speaker 2 Wouldn't you support interrupting Max's vacation right now?

Speaker 1 Max, sorry to interrupt your vacation.

Speaker 1 We need to comment real quick on the game.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch it. Okay, all right.
Thank you. All right.
See you tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 1 That was it. He didn't watch it.
He did watch it. I know he watched it because we were texting with him after.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Sixers court looked six, too. I'm not just a delay.
I did. I was a huge fan of their court.
Their uniforms, disgusting.

Speaker 1 Court looked greased. What would be the funniest outcome for a Sixers Celtic series?

Speaker 1 Whopping. No,

Speaker 1 I think it would be a Sixers 3-1 lead blowing it.

Speaker 1 That would be the funniest content.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no. Shut up, Hank.
That would not be good content. Think about for the people.
Yeah. A game seven, the Sixers being up 3-1, Max being like, we've won it.
It's over.

Speaker 1 And then you guys coming back and winning in game seven would be.

Speaker 1 I mean, he would maybe quit.

Speaker 2 I mean, a 3-0 comeback would be better. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If that's the case. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. I think 4-0 sweep would be.
Yeah. See, fuck you.
You see, you don't care. And that's why we're.
That's not true. No, you don't care about the people.
That's all I care about.

Speaker 1 No, say it a 4-0 sweep.

Speaker 2 A 3-1 comeback.

Speaker 13 Doc rivers actually throwing up on the court in game seven as the celtics beat them that's the other funniest wrinkle of it all is that the you know sixers fans hate doc rivers yeah no jay wright will be their coach soon uh all right we covered a lot it's a great weekend of sports it's sports it's a sports podcast sports baby it's a lot of fun uh let's do who's back the week brought to you by our falls here kids are back in school vacations are over and cozy season is officially on you know what that means bombas season is on bombas makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials.

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Speaker 13 And if you head over to bombas.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com/slash audio.

Speaker 2 Code audio at checkout. Damn.
The Padres.

Speaker 1 Fun money.

Speaker 5 It's incredible.

Speaker 8 I don't know where this came out of, but

Speaker 8 they spend more than any other franchise, I think, in pro sports.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's insane.
I mean, in baseball, it's sometimes as simple as just having an owner that wants to win games.

Speaker 2 And if you're rich enough, you can absolutely just buy your way into winning games. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Manny Machado, Toddis Jr., Soto, Bogarts, you darvish.

Speaker 1 It also.

Speaker 8 Nelson Cruz, Carter. I mean, they're beyond stacked.

Speaker 1 I feel like part of it was the...

Speaker 5 Blake Snell.

Speaker 1 Padres. All right, so they did.

Speaker 1 So Pete Seidler bought the team in

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 So it looks like 2020, if I have that right.

Speaker 1 Maybe. So maybe that's why.
I don't really have my ownership groups correct. But I think the Padres, once they brought back their old uniforms, their owner was like, this is sick.

Speaker 2 Why don't we have a good team? Yeah, it's a great color scheme. Yeah.
Right. The dark brown, the yellow they rock pinstripes every now and again yeah yeah

Speaker 1 uh maybe they purchased it in 2012 i might have that wrong either way yeah they're spending fun money it's crazy it's insane what are they gonna do about tatisse what's what's tatisse up to these days tell him to be a good boy please yes but he's got to be unsuspended what 50 games or something yeah i think he had a yeah he should be back he should be back just please stop doing that i think is all they're gonna say i think i think the padres they're gonna be the most fun team in baseball this year yeah that was our baseball preview.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which we did with Ryan Russell as well. That's true.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your who's back?

Speaker 2 My who's back of the week is Sam Hurd.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 We might have spoken this into existence last week in our cocaine bear preview, but Sam Hurd has been released from federal penitentiary in Bastrip, Texas after serving a 10-year sentence for distributing cocaine and marijuana, just like copious amounts of cocaine.

Speaker 2 And I mean that even like as a Dallas Cowboys wide receiver, he was into significant amounts of cocaine. And so he's out of prison.
Timing is very suspicious with the release of Cocaine Bear.

Speaker 2 A lot of people are saying that this judge might have taken some money to do some guerrilla marketing for the movie.

Speaker 1 It's like that woman who was sitting in the MLB stand staring at people last year, whatever movie that was.

Speaker 2 Or when the clowns were a big thing in 2017 for it. Or IT, as we called it?

Speaker 1 What was the Coke that just got us orange vanilla? Oh, orange vanilla. Remember that?

Speaker 1 Whopper, Whopper, whopper, whopper.

Speaker 2 Remember that whole March Madness?

Speaker 1 Orange vanilla Coke, yeah. Yeah, what was the song?

Speaker 2 Orange vanilla coke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, so this is no way.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is viral marketing. This is going to bother me.
I'm going to look it up. But yeah, they had those guys sitting in the stands and shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so Sam Hurd is officially out of prison. The Cowboys should sign him.
Like, it'd be very funny if Sam Hurd got back into the NFL after all this.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'd agree. Bring him back.
Why not?

Speaker 1 Where's the orange vanilla coke? Let's see.

Speaker 2 And so he was, I think we talked about it last week. He was trying to move like millions of dollars of cocaine at a time, which is, I mean, you got to have dreams.
You got to have goals and ambition.

Speaker 2 And he knew that he wasn't going to be the best player in the NFL. So he's like, I might as well be the best drug dealer in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 Which he was on pace to do.

Speaker 2 But credit to him for having some ambition, also for getting out of prison after 10 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's got to be such a great day, huh? Being in prison 10 years. You you get out.

Speaker 1 There's a movie about you. There's a movie about you coming out.

Speaker 2 I think the first thing you do after you get out of prison in a 10-year sentence, I would probably just go to McDonald's, get some fries,

Speaker 1 get a Big Mac, Taco Bell, get a huge Taco Bell. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think you go fast food immediately, and then you have like a big dinner later on after that where you go out and get a nice steak. But you just stop at the first fast food restaurant you see.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can someone find this?

Speaker 1 This is going to drive me nuts now.

Speaker 12 What are you looking for?

Speaker 1 Orange vanilla.

Speaker 1 No, this isn't it.

Speaker 2 I think I was right. I think it's orange vanilla coke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, kind of. You're kind of right.
I don't know. There was one ad.
Someone will send it to me. Do you guys remember this?

Speaker 2 It was like non-stop. It was everywhere.
Was it 2019?

Speaker 5 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Now we're just playing commercials. I like this.

Speaker 1 This is good podcasting.

Speaker 1 People are like, hot. no free ads.

Speaker 2 How did these guys do it?

Speaker 1 We just start playing music or

Speaker 1 ads.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait.

Speaker 1 New orange vanilla Coke. You got the green.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're kind of right. Yeah, yeah.
You're kind of right. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucking orange vanilla coke. That racked my brains for that.
What will be the ad this March Madness? There's always one because it's just the only time I know that we had the Whopper Whopper.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we we had the What. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We had the Whopper Whopper all fall, but March Madness is the one time of year where it's like you do watch 18 hours of TV straight for four days, and you just see every ad.

Speaker 2 For a while, it was Impractical Jokers. They were everywhere.

Speaker 8 I feel like Chris Paul and Rogers, Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Safe Arms.
Something's going to make us want to kill him.

Speaker 11 I'm excited to see the new gymnasts, Charles Barkley.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Road to it.

Speaker 5 They do it every year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Albert Kirk. Yeah.
All right. My who's back of the week is Live Golf.
Yeah. But no one's watching it.
So Live Golf is back.

Speaker 1 It was broadcasted. So Greg Norman last year said there were four networks that were in a bidding war for Live Golf.

Speaker 1 Ended up being CW was the network that won out of the four networks.

Speaker 2 You might remember CW from

Speaker 2 broadcasting One Tree Hill. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Did they do Barcelona Sports Advisors for a year in Philadelphia?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they did. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Seventh Heaven.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it got a 0.2 rating

Speaker 1 on CW. It was outrated by World's Funniest Animals.

Speaker 2 And by the Barstow Sports Mini Golf Adventure.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes, we got more.
Unofficially. Unofficially.
But yeah, Live Golf is back and no one's watching it. Also, I don't know if we ever talked about it, but

Speaker 1 it's very funny that Live Golf doesn't have the Twitter handle, LiveGolf. Yeah.
Do you you know who has it?

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's a girl named Livolia.

Speaker 1 Olivia Powling in South Wales. She's a junior golfer, age 17, and her Twitter handle is LiveGolf.
NBS is going to have his goons pay a little bit. How has she not gotten the bag? Yeah.

Speaker 2 My four-year-old son Chris walked in the other day, and he was like, Dad, can we put the Aces are playing? Yeah. Can we watch the Aces? He's a big Aces.

Speaker 1 I don't know why they thought, like, golf is not a team sport. No.
It's never going to be a team sport. No, I was

Speaker 1 rider cups. What? Every two years.

Speaker 2 But that's not teams.

Speaker 1 That's countries.

Speaker 2 That's America. Yeah.
People are watching for America on that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They even try to do

Speaker 1 the President's Cup. No one can really get into that because what is it? It's America versus

Speaker 2 the Southern Hemisphere. Yeah, I think it's the rest of the

Speaker 1 world. No, I think it's the rest of the world.

Speaker 2 Everybody except for Europe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the rest of the world. That's like, come on.

Speaker 1 We want to beat the fucking.

Speaker 2 We want to beat those guys. So I've been

Speaker 5 minus Europe is the official.

Speaker 1 What? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Rest of the world minus Europe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the official.

Speaker 2 The golf bug bit me big time. I've been practicing a lot.
I think I'm not going to try to

Speaker 2 get on the PGA tour. I'm not trying to become a pro in that way, but I think I would be...

Speaker 2 I think I'm going to make myself open for the live tour. That's my goal is to have the live tour.

Speaker 2 It's going to be breaking 100 mil.

Speaker 2 Just pay me.

Speaker 2 And I mean, you think the live tour would be interested in a washed up podcast? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Someone used podcaster as a slur at me today, but I didn't like it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's our word. Yeah, it was very, it was very.

Speaker 2 Did he say with an A at the end or ER?

Speaker 1 You're a Jake Paul Stan 40-year-old podcaster. Oh, God.
Yeah. This is fucked up.

Speaker 2 That's our word.

Speaker 1 Even Billy wouldn't say it. He says all those.

Speaker 1 Yeah, by the way, speaking of golf, we will have our full swing review on Wednesday. So if you haven't watched it, it's on Netflix.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 We're going to have a couple guys on who maybe were featured. So get excited.

Speaker 8 Drive to Survive is also back, and I watched the first episode and I was racking my brain on what happened, and I actually don't remember.

Speaker 9 Yeah, so I'm...

Speaker 1 We kind of fizzled out on that.

Speaker 8 I'm excited to see what happens.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, full swing.

Speaker 1 We will do the full review, but just a quick review is, oh, this was a fun memory lane of all the times I lost money betting on Will Zalatoris. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember where I was just because I was witnessing that. They're like, oh, yeah, Will Zalatoris on the leaderboard.

Speaker 2 I was like, God fucking damn it. He was always around.

Speaker 1 This year. This is the year.

Speaker 2 For sure.

Speaker 1 I will bet him in every major until he wins a major. That is a guarantee.

Speaker 2 I'm going Willie Z and Max.

Speaker 1 Max, the Masters. Yep.
Yep. Okay, Billy, who's your, who's back? Bones.
Bones are bones. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 12 Our dudes. So Dirty Water Don, the guy that Donnie does and I went diving the East River for bones with, he has found a bone.

Speaker 12 He found a jawbone of a Stepe bison, which is just a prehistoric, gigantic bison Just like bigger horns bigger just like totally prehistoric bison anyway.

Speaker 12 He found the jawbone in the East River So that means that it is true there were tons of bones dumped there is that where you guys were looking that same location.

Speaker 1 So it's a little

Speaker 12 It was a little different of location and it may have been because of how I mean almost a hundred years of tidal waters moving in and out have moved some of it, but they might have found like sort of the

Speaker 12 the jetty off where it goes where you could find the bone. So there they found the spot.
They're looking at it more in depth. Rogan posted their picture.
So, I mean, they did it.

Speaker 2 How much money is that worth? Because they were saying it was going to be worth like hundreds of millions of dollars, right?

Speaker 12 So, basically, imagine like you're looking for a Chester chest full of gold coins.

Speaker 1 They found one coin, right?

Speaker 12 So, then you find the rest of it. And also, Step A Bison, you know,

Speaker 12 bones aren't as valuable as a mammoth tusk, but it means that they're sniffing in the right place.

Speaker 2 Which one did you find?

Speaker 12 We found a mammoth tusk.

Speaker 1 Fights

Speaker 1 Halloween. That's

Speaker 1 the jolly.

Speaker 2 The Giants.

Speaker 1 I would like to see any of these fuckers find that. Yeah.
Can't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can't find it.

Speaker 12 Straight from the Halloween store.

Speaker 1 So are you going to go back?

Speaker 12 I actually, now that he's found it, I'm.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got it. Yeah, I got him.
You have to go back. We're going back.
We're going back.

Speaker 2 Definitely going to be a bone rush.

Speaker 1 Billy, this could be, you could make millions of dollars.

Speaker 12 Honestly, I think it would probably go to them. We'll see if I get a cut.

Speaker 1 You're really bad at negotiating. Billy knows Billy.
All right, we need to talk before you get on this boat. You need to have...

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 2 Or you need to buy a boat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 An investment to buy the

Speaker 1 bones. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah. I actually, would you guys like to finance another journey? Because then we could.

Speaker 2 I'm still waiting to get recouped for my initial investment.

Speaker 12 I know, but they found the bone.

Speaker 2 So now this is promising. This is good.

Speaker 1 Basically, Billy found a bone.

Speaker 2 Wait, do I get a cut of that? Because I financed his initial mission.

Speaker 12 Well, no, it wasn't the initial. If we found anything that day, I think you'd have claims.

Speaker 12 But the fact that you're not already just handing me money to go find the bones means that you're not swaying.

Speaker 1 I'm kind of missing out, dude.

Speaker 12 You should just be handing me like

Speaker 1 once in a lifetime in the middle of the day. Just Venmo.

Speaker 12 Venmo, probably not the cash.

Speaker 12 Just it's easier to move. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'll consider it.

Speaker 2 Just think about it.

Speaker 2 Can you give me a proposal?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
Billy just walked in and showed you the first Mac computer. I was like, do you want to invest?

Speaker 2 Billy, after you're done doing your New York Jets, which I'm getting done.

Speaker 12 When you guys are back from Indianapolis, it will be done.

Speaker 1 I promise.

Speaker 1 I promise.

Speaker 12 Deadline then.

Speaker 1 This week.

Speaker 12 When do you guys get back?

Speaker 1 Friday. Okay, yeah, it will be done.

Speaker 2 It's a full presentation. Yes.
It's not just going to be you doing a TikTok green screen. No.
Of here's why this guy wasn't good. This guy wasn't good either.
Right.

Speaker 2 So I actually have it totally outlined.

Speaker 1 All right, so you have till Monday. You have till Monday.

Speaker 2 And chat perfect.

Speaker 1 The chat GPT will not write this. Is he allowed to help me edit it? Just push it all to the weekend.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait. Why do you think that the AI thing is a he?

Speaker 12 Can it help me edit?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 12 But like just like for grammar stuff.

Speaker 2 I don't think I'm way out of bounds to tell you that you cannot have a robot do your project.

Speaker 12 It's not doing my project. It's just editing my project.
Like, you know how much better my grades would have been if I had this thing looking over my essays in college? Just like correctly.

Speaker 1 All right, here's what I'll say. I want, give us the unedited and edited version.
Perfect. Okay.
Redline it. Yeah.
Redline the chat GBT.

Speaker 2 All right. And yeah, give me the New York Jets quarterback presentation, then submit your proposal for more funding.

Speaker 12 Well, actually, now that I'm thinking about this bone rush might be more time

Speaker 2 sensitive.

Speaker 1 Oh, so we got to push the Jets back.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 I mean, you do make a good point because there are going to be people looking for these bones now. Yeah.
So as long as you promise that you'll do the New York Jets quarterback presentation.

Speaker 1 It will be done. All right.
So give us a complete investment breakdown next Sunday on the bones and then the Jets the next week. Perfect.
All right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Jake.

Speaker 11 My Who's back is scoring points. We had the second highest scoring game in NBA history on Friday night.

Speaker 9 Oh, I saw this.

Speaker 11 Kings 176, Clippers 175.

Speaker 1 Delhi, three.

Speaker 1 So I had the Clippers and I was like, I'm good because I looked at the score and it was like 130 to 123. And there was like maybe three minutes left in the third quarter.

Speaker 1 I thought it was the fourth quarter. And then I looked back and I was like, wait, what? This is, how the fuck did it? What was was it? It was overtime.

Speaker 11 176, 175.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 11 Yeah. Also, congratulations to the Kings because in October I had them as the worst professional team in American sports.

Speaker 2 You got to.

Speaker 1 I got to update that. You're all sports power.
Fox has been on tear.

Speaker 5 I have to update that.

Speaker 11 But yeah, the Kings are suddenly like more than relevant.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Looking at the box score right now, two players that scored in the 40s, Malik Monk and Darren Fox. Deli.

Speaker 1 Malik Monk, recurring guest.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 2 Deli contributed intangibles to that game.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 Did not play.

Speaker 1 Yep, he did. He absolutely did.

Speaker 11 He was on the bench for the second highest scoring game in NBA history.

Speaker 2 And he gave the boys a look in Scout Team.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Absolutely did.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our awesome interview with Christian Yelish.
Talking a little more baseball, catching up with him. It was awesome because

Speaker 1 we literally ran into him out on the street outside of our bar in Scottsdale. And we're like, fuck, man.
Haven't seen you in a while. And it was awesome to catch up with him.

Speaker 1 Got a lot of history with him.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on very good friend of the show, recurring guest, fourth time on. It is Christian Yelich, Milwaukee Brewers.

Speaker 1 Also, the guy who's going to maybe give us, probably end the show. We should start with that.

Speaker 1 So, for anyone who's new to the show, was it like four years ago?

Speaker 2 It was in Miami at the All-Star Games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were like, you don't have a home run swing, Christian.

Speaker 1 And you told us, yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 The next year you won the MVP, and you were supposed to be in the home run derby, and then you hurt your back a week before it, which was thankful for us because we said, if you ever win a home run derby, we will eat each other's ass.

Speaker 2 Now, there's a little bit of a story to that because yes there was a video that came out christian has been in a porn christian was in a porn video allegedly allegedly allegedly you were really tonguing down some fart boxes yeah and uh we said to ourselves well your home run swing it's non-existent we'll eat each other's ass if you win the home run derby and we were we were very nervous yeah for about there was a three-week period where me and big cat sat down and we had to figure out okay how are we going to be able to eat each other's asses and still continue on with our lives how are we going to go forward yeah

Speaker 1 So let's start there. How is the home run swing feeling? And do you think you'll ever get back to being in the home run derby?

Speaker 5 It's feeling pretty good, actually. Yeah.
You know what?

Speaker 5 Feeling healthy, feeling good. I think that video is honestly how we started to get to know each other, actually.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We watched it together on the video.

Speaker 5 The alleged video.

Speaker 1 I like to point out.

Speaker 5 But yeah, that's still one of my still one of my biggest like regrets, what if moments of my career was not not being able to do that home run run derby?

Speaker 5 And it was like not solely because like I wanted to do a home run derby in my life, it was because of everything that was on the line and all the ways that you guys were uh scheming up to try and like get out of that bet and how it was gonna work.

Speaker 2 I was talking to somebody about the other day after we ran into you on the streets here in Scottsdale, and I said I gave them the backstory and how me and Big Cat were talking about what we would do to get out.

Speaker 2 And maybe, like, I think we said we'd like cut a piece of our asshole, make a chili, and then put it into a chili, and then we'd eat the chili, and that would be better.

Speaker 2 And they they said to me and i felt like the biggest dumbass in the world like pft why didn't why wouldn't you just cut like a piece of your cheek off you don't have to do the asshole the bet we never said that we'd each other's asshole the bet i was like oh my god yeah you're right we were just focused on the wrong hole yeah and you did have i mean that year you hit what 44 home runs i think was yeah yeah

Speaker 1 Not so great after that. What happened?

Speaker 5 No, dude, I just haven't been on the show in a little while.

Speaker 5 You know, I think it's you guys were the key to the, oh, you're going to, we're going to use this.

Speaker 5 You know, everybody likes like a comeback story. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It'll be like our journey back to the hum run derby.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then I think we got six more, at least six more years left of

Speaker 5 playing. So you guys are, you guys are on the hook for six more years.

Speaker 1 Oh, geez. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, you should have gone with the

Speaker 5 this year only bet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Which was 2018 or 19. I forgot.
Yeah. I forgot which year it was, but.
I've been a little bit smarter.

Speaker 5 And then now all the fans of the show are going to hold you guys accountable, which is unfortunate. And truthfully, I didn't want to see that happen.

Speaker 5 I was going to feel kind of bad if it did happen. And Video Jr., he was doing his best to help you guys out.
I think he had like 35 homes in the first round. So there's no telling if I would have

Speaker 1 been able to beat him. Well, and also Pete Alonzo takes the home run derby way too seriously.
So we just need him to just keep competing and

Speaker 1 having it be his World Series.

Speaker 5 That's true. Yeah, he wins that thing every single year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You never know, though.

Speaker 5 You know, we'll have a... Maybe we'll be able to pay him off or something.
But hey, this year, you got to sit out because we got a lot of stuff on the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 all right so have everybody else throw the home run derby just to see yeah so knowing that you will keep us to this i think we can be mean back what happened to your swing you stopped hitting home runs i don't know man baseball's a baseball is a hard game you know it all uh it all went downhill from there but uh you know it's one of those things and like i said everyone likes a good good comeback story yeah are you did you uh lose muscle mass are you weaker i knew you guys were gonna i knew you guys were gonna ask about the steroids but yeah well no i didn't know the guys the guy's info that you gave me just he never he never picked up his phone.

Speaker 2 I'm offended that you thought that's where I was going with that.

Speaker 1 But if we're going to bring that up, I'm just going to rattle this off real quick. Four home runs, nine home runs, seven home runs,

Speaker 1 21 home runs, 18 home runs, 36, 44 home runs. Oh, wow.
Then back to 12. COVID season, though.
COVID season, then nine, then 14. You did have a couple injuries in there, but you know, that's...

Speaker 1 Brady Anderson, Christian Yellich, people are saying. It's just

Speaker 5 what was his? He had like

Speaker 5 eight, nine, 59, and then he went back to seven. A little fishier than uh, yeah, you know, ours is kind of going like this, and I think we're right, we're going going back in the right direction.

Speaker 1 Are you are you fully healthy?

Speaker 2 Because I know you did have a couple injuries the last few years.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, this is the best I've felt like in a few years going into spring training, and then hopefully keep it that way. Uh, body feels good, and swing's been feeling good.
Just been

Speaker 1 you know, putting in more

Speaker 5 baseball time this offseason to kind of just iron some things out and get back after it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I've always been curious with this. Spring training, you know, we know that like

Speaker 1 preseason for football, guys don't like it. They don't like camp.
Probably the same for basketball and hockey.

Speaker 1 It feels like spring training is just really fun because you guys get to be in Arizona, you get to golf, and then you play like a couple innings of baseball every day.

Speaker 1 And then you just, because we went to the Cubs spring training a few years ago, they would just like, Rizzo would bat twice, then get a golf cart back to the facility and then just be out the door in like the fourth inning yeah it's the beginning of spring training is fun because it's uh

Speaker 5 you come back it's good to see everybody again like you really probably haven't seen many of your teammates over the offseason or maybe one or two of them but everybody's back together again uh excited about a new year starting and then yeah you play like three innings your first couple games and then you have a day off and then three days and I mean day off from playing the game you go practice in the morning but if you're not playing in the game you're usually done by 10 30 11 o'clock and then go do whatever till you got to be back in the morning.

Speaker 1 I've always always liked spring training. Yeah, is it true too with spring training, like the old saying, hope springs eternal?

Speaker 1 Like every time you go to spring training, even if you're on a team that maybe doesn't have a ton of talent, you're like, anything could happen here.

Speaker 5 Oh, I've been on plenty of teams where it's like, everyone's got us underrated. No one thinks we can do this, but we're going to win the World Series.

Speaker 5 It's September and we lost like 100 games.

Speaker 5 And it was like, oh, I guess it wasn't our year.

Speaker 1 They all gave you like a shirt.

Speaker 5 Back in the day, we'd have like a, we had a, I think it was like like the Marlins one year. It was a, it was a shirt.
It said like chip right here on the, on the shoulder. Okay.

Speaker 5 And like a bunch of different like sayings and numbers on it. It's like, no one's giving us credit.
We got a talented room here.

Speaker 1 That was 95 losses. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Our manager got our manager got fired in like May, Redmond. He was a great guy.
We were all just like, we're sorry, man.

Speaker 5 We all really liked him. It was like middle of May.
And then

Speaker 5 it was like the seventh inning. And went back in the locker room to get like a protein bar or something.

Speaker 5 And like on the on the TVs and locker room was like team meeting after the game and we were getting no hit at the time like uh it was like shelby shelby miller was throwing a no hitter against us he went eight and two thirds and bohr got a hit actually broke it up but in the seventh inning of that game on the tv screens was uh

Speaker 5 team meeting after after the game like everybody stick around in the locker room and you could like hear it down the hall And then the president of the team came in and was like, yeah, we just we fired Mike Redmond.

Speaker 5 We're not going to tell you who your next manager is. And

Speaker 5 you'll find out tomorrow when you come to the stadium. And that's when they made

Speaker 5 the general manager of the team ended up becoming the manager.

Speaker 5 And so, yeah, that was wild.

Speaker 1 That was crazy.

Speaker 5 Ended up not being our season, even though we thought it was in spring training.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, kind of circling back,

Speaker 5 all 30 teams,

Speaker 5 you think that you got a chance, which is great.

Speaker 5 being optimistic going into the season, but realistically, there's like probably 10 that have a chance to win the World Series.

Speaker 2 When you go into spring training, are there different managers that put you through different drills to get ready for the season? Or is it basically like everyone's working on the same stuff?

Speaker 2 Like baseball has been around forever. We know what we have to practice to get ready.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think most teams probably do like similar things. Each manager has their own style about how laid back it's going to be or how regimented it is or what they want to see guys doing.

Speaker 5 And even ours, like it changes every year. Like they're like, oh, we did this last year.
We really liked it.

Speaker 1 We're going to keep it.

Speaker 5 Or we didn't really like this stuff, like scratch that, we're not going to do that anymore.

Speaker 2 Is there any like weird drill that they put you through? You see, like quarterbacks sometimes going out there with giant foam noodles or whatever and like trying to dodge beach balls, like Big Ben.

Speaker 5 Oh, outfielders, they kind of give like outfielders like a lot of time-killing things because, like, the infielders and pitchers, they got to work on like bunt defenses or

Speaker 5 you know, whatever it is they're doing. They always have like a ground ball routine that they got to do, and then it's actually important that they figure out like bunt defense stuff.

Speaker 5 Or it used to be like shift, shift things, and then outfielders like you only catch so many fly balls or you you work on like being around the wall or uh throwing the bases or picking up a ball against the against the wall spring training you basically like learn how to play baseball all over again it sounds so fun

Speaker 5 it sounds like a blast so speaking of the shift the new rules this year um we think of more hits oh yeah is it good for you yeah i mean any left-handed hitter it's going to be good because you know even if you weren't like a guy that was like full full shift full shift like you're still losing hits because of it because

Speaker 5 basically the teams are willing to give you like a single to to left field right because they just don't care because it's all about run prevention is why people shift so like they're like oh if this guy hits a single to left field he didn't hit a home run so they didn't score like it's just a single and that's why if you bun against a shift like analytically teams don't care It's just more so like, just don't hit a homer.

Speaker 1 Or hit a double, yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but you did get some shifts because of the, you did get some hits because of the shift as well. You'd get blown up up and a ball that would stopped in the infield grasp basically

Speaker 5 ended up being a hit. And then you lose the one where you hit a line drive to right field and it hits the third baseman right in the chest.

Speaker 1 What is the new rule again?

Speaker 2 You have to have two infielders on either side of second base.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think, but I don't know if it's like just the base that's dividing it or like there's more of like a

Speaker 5 a line that you have to get.

Speaker 1 And also those guys have to have their feet in the dirt.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, you can't be in the outfield, I don't think.

Speaker 5 Right, but I think you're going to see, and this is just like a guess is like i don't know if you can like have like a guy in motion like you can send a guy for like short stop and just have him start like running as soon as the pitcher throws like i don't know if that's legal that will be exciting though that's great or if you have like a you could probably do like i bet you'll see teams that do like a two-man outfield like center fielder and left fielder and like move their right fielder to where like the shift guy used to be oh you know if like there's a guy that doesn't really hit the ball to left field very much kind of

Speaker 5 like a cherry match there's ways around it it'll be interesting to see like if teams get super, super creative with that. I bet a team like the Rays or somebody would do something like that.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 or like us.

Speaker 5 That's something we would probably do too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why don't you guys take the catcher and when there's two or fewer outs and two or nobody on base and less than two strikes, you just move the catcher and you put him at second base and you just bean the umpire.

Speaker 2 Because like there's still strikes, right, when they cross the plate?

Speaker 1 Technically, yeah.

Speaker 5 I'm sure the umpires would be stoked about. They'd all be fired up about that.
Just having to wear 100-mile-an hour fastballs off the chest.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How many times have you been kicked out of a game? I feel like you were kicked out last year.

Speaker 5 Twice last year.

Speaker 1 I think four or four. February

Speaker 1 total. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bad attitude?

Speaker 1 No, honestly,

Speaker 5 there's been a few times where I'm like, it was probably deserved. Like, a lot of times they give you a chance.
Like, especially if they kind of know, like, oh, man, I might have missed it.

Speaker 5 They give you a chance to stay in the game. They'll let you say some stuff, but then...
Once you say a few magic words, you cross the line, you get thrown out.

Speaker 5 A lot of times, I mean, I think all of my my ejections have probably been pretty well deserved.

Speaker 2 Were any of them intentional? Like, you just didn't feel like playing the rest of the game and want to get home?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 5 no, I mean, I got thrown out in the ninth inning one time last year, it was like ninth inning with two outs. We were losing by like three or four, yeah.

Speaker 5 And then that one, you just most of the time when you get thrown out of the game, you get back in the locker room, and you're just like, What the fuck did you do that for?

Speaker 5 Like, I know it's not worth it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um,

Speaker 5 but yeah, I don't, I don't remember even,

Speaker 5 I don't even remember what, what they were for. It's all been balls and strikes for the most part.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can't argue balls and strikes.

Speaker 5 Well, one of them was

Speaker 5 like a check swing. I kind of like dropped my bat and they appealed and they said I went around like strike three.
So my bat was on the ground. Strike three obviously didn't agree with it.

Speaker 5 But I didn't really do anything. I didn't really do anything yet at the time to get thrown out.

Speaker 5 And so I was walking back to the

Speaker 5 back to the dugout. I was like, all right, like I just, you know, it's two outs.
Just go back to the dugout. But my bat was still on the ground.

Speaker 5 And the home plate umpire was like, hey, you need to pick your bat up. And so at that point, you have like two choices.
Either pitch it out and be like, okay, pick up your bat. Or you just say,

Speaker 5 you fucking pick it up.

Speaker 1 And then you get thrown out of the game.

Speaker 1 Wait, but did you? I think there's more than those two choices.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's it.

Speaker 5 So that's what I said. Obviously, you know what's coming as soon as you say that.

Speaker 5 Like, you have that moment of where you've got to decide, like, shit, am I picking this bat up or am i getting thrown out of the game it's just like fuck it i'm getting thrown out of the game yeah you fucking picked up did you and so when you get thrown out though you get a you get a letter from the like the commissioner's office like stating like because the umpires have to write a report every time uh you get thrown out of the game and it tells you in the letter like what you did to to get thrown out is like in quotations and i forgot what mine said um

Speaker 5 but it said something like at which point like you were told to like pick up your equipment and you said and you said you fucking pick it up

Speaker 5 it's like i always i always uh save those letters because they're kind of funny yeah you end up being closer with the umpires that throw you out too because you're just like yeah like the next day you still see them because they're there most of the time the next series you'll see them down the road you're just like yeah my bad man like i know i deserve that like you know no hard feelings like

Speaker 5 That's on that's on me and like it's cool. And then you laugh about it down the road.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did you did you end up picking up the bat?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. There you go.
If nobody picked it up, the bat would still be laying at home plate at American Family.

Speaker 5 You won that exchange.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's two choices there. You either pick it up and you regret that you picked it up when you're back in the dugout.

Speaker 2 No, I'm going to look at every play that actually picks up their own bat after they strike out. It's kind of a beta.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 2 I would never do that.

Speaker 5 Well, it doesn't happen most times because, or I guess guys would probably do it on like a 3-2 count. This one wasn't.
This was like... 2-2 or like 1-2.

Speaker 1 So technically, like, it wasn't like a walk to where the bat would be on the ground.

Speaker 5 So I know why he told me to pick it up because like three two like you thought you walked you put your bat down or something

Speaker 5 but i kind of went like this to the like the third third base umpire and uh somewhere on the like the bat kind of just like fell out of my hands all right i might have dropped it but uh do umps ever apologize to you are they ever like yo i that up

Speaker 5 Yeah, not when they not when they throw you out usually. Like if there's like a

Speaker 5 you know

Speaker 5 They punch you out or something on the on a ball that

Speaker 5 ended up being a ball because they get a they get like a scorecard after every game that they do. So they kind of see like the calls they missed.

Speaker 5 Or like you could, you could strike out and be like, hey, man,

Speaker 5 I don't really think, I don't think that was a strike. Like, I had that wherever.
And most of them will be like, hey, let me know. Like, you know, I might have missed it.

Speaker 5 And you appreciate those guys. Or like, hey, they'll tell you the next day, hey, man, like, I messed that up.
I missed that one. Yeah.
You're like, hey, cool, man. Like, I appreciate it.

Speaker 5 We're all human. It's a hard game.
You know, the ball's moving 100 miles an hour. They're trying to do their best, obviously.
So, when they miss one, like, hey, dude, you know, I messed that up.

Speaker 1 You're like, hey, it's all good, dude. Like, no hard feelings.

Speaker 2 As long as there's no animosity, they don't target you for anything.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, they're all, honestly, they're all really, they're all really cool guys.

Speaker 5 Like, they're all kind of, you get to know a lot of them because, you know, especially the longer you play in the league, it's the same umpires every year.

Speaker 5 So you develop a relationship with these guys. And obviously, you're cooler with some than others, but I wouldn't say there's really any guys that are too bad of dudes.

Speaker 2 So, do you not want robot umps?

Speaker 5 I don't want robot umps. No, because I think there's going to be a lot of unintended consequences with that.

Speaker 5 Because, like, if you just have like a square that buzzes ball or strike, that you have a guy that sits up on one side of the plate, and then this dude yanks 100 mile or fastball all the way across the other side of the plate with the catcher diving and it nicks the box.

Speaker 5 Like, that's going to be, that'll be a strike. When

Speaker 5 on no time ever in baseball history was that going to be a strike, you you know, or pitchers will be able to find a way to, like,

Speaker 5 there's a lot of like curveballs or breaking balls that'll be like in the dirt that'll clip the bottom of the strike zone, technically, or like the ones that are at the top of the zone, too.

Speaker 5 So I think there'd be a lot of unintended consequences if it was just like the box. They'd have to figure out a better way to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want robot ops.

Speaker 2 Yeah, also, what you were talking about earlier, like you know, these guys, you know, the umpires.

Speaker 2 I do think that there's something to be said for like the umpires are kind of good for the character of the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's part of the game.

Speaker 2 It makes it feel feel like you know an actual thing that we're putting on here instead of some like sky judge overseeing everything so and you get

Speaker 5 that and you get like maps as like a player like before the game like the you'll have like a hitters meeting every day before the game talking about whoever the the other team starting pitcher is and then you know who the home played umpire is going to be and like where there's a tendency for them to call more strikes opposed to other umpires or where they call less strikes and then sometimes you know like if an umpire kind of lines up with like what a starting pitcher likes to do, you're like, oh shit, like this, this might not be good tonight.

Speaker 2 If we don't have an actual umpire on the field, we need like a dummy that's dressed up as an umpire just for the managers to go out and scream at when something doesn't go their way.

Speaker 2 Like they're not, what are they going to do? Go yell at a robot?

Speaker 2 I need to see managers like getting right up into an umpire's face.

Speaker 5 Are you going to dress up as an umpire and go out there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there should be a decoy umpire. I'd go one further.
It would be nice if it was just a like decoy umpire and it was just Lou Pinnell every time.

Speaker 1 He was just spitting on people, kicking dirt.

Speaker 5 The best, like one of the best, like baseball highlights that there's ever been going around the internet is when uh Terry Collins from the Mets got caught on the mic when Sendergard threw it Utley and he just comes out there and he's just losing his

Speaker 1 jackpot.

Speaker 5 And Tom Hallion's awesome guy. Like he's a great umpire.

Speaker 5 Super good dude. He was just like trying to diffuse the situation.
But fans just kind of see that on either TV or the stands.

Speaker 5 Like they think these two dudes are just going at it, saying super personal shit to each other. But most of the time it's just arguing and then one guy trying to calm the other guy down.

Speaker 5 And then he kind of just like ran out of things to say. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're asking the jackpot. He's like, oh shit.
Like, you agree with me? Yeah. Terry kind of just like

Speaker 1 trying out here. You got to give me a chance.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's so good for the game, though, because like people, it's entertaining. Right.
You know, at the end of the day, it's an entertainment business. So like, hey, make things that are entertaining.

Speaker 1 That's a fact. Did you, last umpire question, did you get Joe West anything for his retirement?

Speaker 5 No, I didn't. Actually, I actually really like, I really liked Joe just because, and he was actually like a phenomenal umpire when he locked it in.
Like balls and strikes,

Speaker 5 he was one of the best guys in the league when it was like

Speaker 5 a Sunday night game or

Speaker 5 playoff series. He was really, really good.

Speaker 5 But yeah, he was awesome. And as a rookie, he would kind of like test you, like intentionally do something where you're like, what the fuck, man?

Speaker 5 And see how you kind of reacted. And if you just kind of took it, like, okay, this is just part of getting your feet wet in the major leagues, he would always like you.

Speaker 5 you yeah if you kind of like turned around and like showed him up like the pitcher could throw the next ball halfway up the backstep so it's gonna be this is gonna be strike three which and i always love joe and um i like all those umpires and like side note like kind of on it kind of get uncomfortable talking about it because it's such a integral part of your life you don't want to ever like critique them or right have them think bad about you because like that's definitely not what

Speaker 5 you know I'm trying to do or want to do because like those guys are in it with us, man. We're all trying to do the best we can.

Speaker 5 They're all really good dudes, and it's a really, really hard job at the end of the day, even though I have been kicked out of uh four or five games. We're gonna try and stop that.

Speaker 5 We're gonna try and stop that. Nah, maybe like once a year, yeah, it's fun.

Speaker 2 Can you give us a heads up? Like, let us know if there's a game that you like, probably against the Reds or some bullshit team like that that you don't really care about playing against.

Speaker 2 Uh, you can just give us a heads up, like, hey, Thursday, I'm gonna get ejected.

Speaker 5 See, let us know. It's never, you know, I wish it was like a pre-planned thing, or just like, nah, I want today off.

Speaker 1 Like, first inning, I'm getting hucked.

Speaker 5 Yeah, which my first ever ejection was a first-inning inning ejection. And then Mattingly, he got thrown out as well.
So you're like, oh, shit. Like, I got thrown out.

Speaker 5 I just got my manager thrown out in the first inning. And then

Speaker 1 you have to sit with him. I sat with him in his office.

Speaker 5 So we're up by five and you're sitting in your manager's office. It was like the eighth inning.
It was on the Marlins. We ended up blowing the lead in the eighth inning.

Speaker 1 It was like.

Speaker 5 Mattingly, me, president of the team, all in his office, watching the game as we're blowing a lead.

Speaker 1 And you're just sitting there just like, fuck, dude. That's so uncomfortable.

Speaker 5 You're just like, I hope we win, man.

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Speaker 2 When you got traded from the Marlins, how long did it take you to learn all the new intricate handshakes in the clubhouse when you got to the Brewers?

Speaker 5 It changes every year. And honestly, I'm not like a huge, I'm not a huge handshake guy.
I need to like, that's always been a part of like my career where I needed to like step that up.

Speaker 5 I don't really have a ton of handshakes with a guy. Every now and then, there's like three or four guys on the team I might have something with.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 But there's guys that have something with everything. Bross over there, he's got a handshake with everybody on the team, trainers, coaches, everybody.

Speaker 2 To me, that would be so stressful. When you go, like, mid-season, you arrive on a team.
Now it's like, oh, shit, I got to relearn all that stuff in addition to everything else.

Speaker 2 You can always just do the like the DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince one, which is the.

Speaker 1 That one's something simple.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that one plays. Yeah, learn all your new teammates and coaches and everything.
Mid-season trade. I got lucky.
It was off-season trade. That's what spring training's for.

Speaker 1 for you know yeah that's what you got six weeks to you know come up with something um i saw a story did you lose a home run derby to barry bonds

Speaker 5 no

Speaker 1 so the media they love that one uh so what happened because this was obviously when barry was the hitting coach for the marlins yeah it was uh it was a spring training thing so we were just hitting hitting uh

Speaker 5 off a curveball machine on like one of the backfields after like the morning workout getting ready for the game and sometimes guys like to to play games where like compete against each other so you you have something like where you're kind of like locked in instead of just like going through the motions with the drill being like i'm just gonna take a few swings and whatever happens so it was pretty unfair teams actually it was like me stanton and barry bonce and it was against uh

Speaker 5 that's i forgot who else but it was like jeff mathis who's like one of my best friends in the game but

Speaker 5 uh him

Speaker 5 whoever else was on the Marlins at the time but it was like very lopsided teams it was like you're just trying to score runs so like, and I think Barry was the judge whether it was a hit or not.

Speaker 5 So it was double singles and then obviously home run scores

Speaker 5 whatever, whatever points at the time it was. And he hit the most home runs during that drill, actually, still.

Speaker 5 But it wasn't officially a home run derby.

Speaker 1 Well, it sounds like one. But

Speaker 5 he did hit the most. He did swing a miss at the first curveball.

Speaker 1 We were all laughing at him.

Speaker 5 Like, oh, you don't got it anymore. And then the next pitch, the next like five, he hit a homer.

Speaker 5 maybe you still got it but uh

Speaker 5 there was like some media guys or beat riders um kind of off to the side like watching the thing and it kind of it's like turned into like barry bonds wins like marlins home run derby which technically he did but it wasn't a home run derby and i'm not saying that i'm not saying that he couldn't win a home run derby because he could and the game looked super easy for him when he was playing and he helped me tremendously when i was with the marlins he really helped me understand like hitting and how your body works and everything that goes into it yeah we've always heard because barry is a pretty pretty private guy when it comes to the media.

Speaker 2 There's some reporters, and I think this is like a baseball thing in particular, where some beat reporters, they get mad at people for not giving them enough coverage or access or whatever the case might be.

Speaker 2 But Barry always seems like he's, I mean, he's obviously a legend. And when he was coaching you, can you tell us what he's like as a person?

Speaker 2 Because I feel like I don't really know anything about Barry Bond as a person.

Speaker 1 He was really

Speaker 5 funny and fun to be around

Speaker 5 as a hitting coach for us.

Speaker 5 And he just understood the game and hitting like different than really everybody else or had like really good awareness of like where his body was at or what he was trying to do and like accomplish because like anybody could anybody could hit a home run and not necessarily like understand how that happened.

Speaker 2 It happens to me all the time.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you could hit a ball over the fence and you could be like, okay, cool. That ball went over the fence.
It was a home run.

Speaker 5 How did that happen? What did your body do to allow that to happen mechanically? And he was kind of able to break that down, explain it, show you,

Speaker 5 and kind of give you like thought processes to help you achieve that with your body.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Which was cool. And,

Speaker 5 you know, maybe you guys are going to need to bring him out of retirement and enter a home run derby if

Speaker 5 the day ever comes where I'm fortunate enough to compete in one and be healthy to be aware of.

Speaker 2 How much money would you pay to not have to eat my ass?

Speaker 1 At whatever Barry wants.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he can pretty much pick his number

Speaker 1 blank check. Maybe we should throw that into, okay,

Speaker 1 so if you win the home run derby, we obviously have to eat your ass. But within, we have to eat each other's ass.
I almost had to eat your ass there. But

Speaker 1 if we can get Barry Bonds to compete against you within six months of you winning the home run derby and he beats you, we're out.

Speaker 5 I mean, it seems pretty fair.

Speaker 1 I don't know how we're going to have to, it's going to be like Celtic.

Speaker 5 I don't even think like, I think like if you guys, I think if you guys like started a campaign to like fund payment to Barry Bonds, like I honestly don't know if people would donate to that because I kind of think they want to see you pay up on this bet, which probably just like some sadistic bet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's what we're going to end up doing, and this is just the God's Honest Truth. We're going to be like, if we eat each other's ass, pardon me takes over forever.
So you guys can vote.

Speaker 1 And then people will vote, and we won't eat each other's ass.

Speaker 5 It's a good chance that the show sticks around.

Speaker 5 I think

Speaker 5 that might be your one out.

Speaker 1 It will just be, you know what it is?

Speaker 2 Is if we have to end up doing this,

Speaker 1 it's more like the random silences. Yeah.
Like when we're just sitting in a room together, it's like...

Speaker 2 We'd always know. Yeah, like,

Speaker 15 like, I know what your butthole tastes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, what's up, dude?

Speaker 5 That's not something that you could, that doesn't wash away. This is your deepest, darkest secrets.

Speaker 1 It's something that at the end of the day, like, you're alone with yourself.

Speaker 2 Somebody said the other day, like, your obituary will be written. It'll be the best thing that you've ever done.

Speaker 2 No, it'll be the worst thing that you've ever done, followed by the best thing that you've ever done.

Speaker 2 And in this case, like, when I die, my obituary would be like, yeah, ate Dan Katz's asshole one time.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 5 it'd be a tough scene. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It'd be a tough scene.

Speaker 5 But honestly, it's weird for me. Like,

Speaker 5 My association with you guys in this show is synonymous with that.

Speaker 1 Because there's like, it's once a day at least. Like, I'll be walking down the street and somebody is like, you got to do the home run derby, bro.

Speaker 7 Big cat and PFT. We got to get them to pay up.

Speaker 5 Every day during it, it happens every day during baseball season. Like at the stadium, I get yelled at every day at the stadium with that.

Speaker 5 And then walking down the street, like it happened yesterday at Waste Management.

Speaker 1 Just like walking around, like, dude, you got to do PFT.

Speaker 7 You got to do PMT, PFT, and Big Cat. You've got to make them pay up.
We need you back in the Derby.

Speaker 5 I'm like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 The same would happen to me when you had that insane season. Every time you hit a home run, I'd get tagged in like 100 tweets.
Yeah, Twitter's just blowing up. He's hot.
He's hot.

Speaker 1 I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1 When you're playing the Cubs, I'm watching it. And they're just like, look, you hit another home run.

Speaker 5 It would have been a great day in Barstool history, that home run derby. Whether I wandered or not,

Speaker 5 it would have been an electric hour for you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were right. We were alive.
I know. Immediately based on the ball.
I was so bad about that.

Speaker 5 That was a big part of the disappointment in not not doing that derby, which I don't think a lot of people knew.

Speaker 5 I was just like, yeah, I wanted to obviously want to do the home run derby because it'd be cool to compete in it. But

Speaker 5 just that moment is just like you just can't replicate what's on the line there.

Speaker 1 And if I remember correctly, I think you texted me like a week before being like, I think I hurt my back. And I was like, he's fucking with us.
He's fucking with us.

Speaker 5 It was a few days before because, yeah, I was hitting and playing.

Speaker 5 I had some back stuff. I feel like I've hopefully gotten a handle on that the last two years.

Speaker 5 But when it kind of when it goes like you just know like oh like the next next 10 days to two weeks like i'm i'm yeah and

Speaker 5 i actually played in that i played in the game like the next day but i was still like not not feeling very good i played like two innings and left just because i was i was starting the game i was getting a hit leadoff like there's You're probably never going to get a lead off in an all-star game ever again in your life because you have to be the visiting team.

Speaker 5 You have to be a starter. You have to be the leadoff hitter.
So I wanted to do that, like start an all-star game and then do that. So I was like, I'm just going to go, I'm going to go out there and,

Speaker 5 you know, Verlander's starting the game for the American League and I get a leadoff for the National League. So it's something that's really cool.

Speaker 5 I probably shouldn't have been out there even for the game.

Speaker 1 Did you strike out?

Speaker 5 I think I got jammed super bad in like a soft line drive to the first base.

Speaker 1 Which is fine. Yeah, contact catch.

Speaker 5 And then the next day I bad, I didn't swing and struck out. And then I was out of the game.
And then just went home.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Major League Baseball was probably pretty happy that you didn't compete because then they would have had to answer so many questions about like, why why is Christian Yelich like blowing up online

Speaker 1 trending why is

Speaker 5 for a week straight a big sideshow? Yeah, it would have been

Speaker 2 bad for baseball, bad for the game.

Speaker 1 Although publicity, it'd be good for the game.

Speaker 5 It would draw a lot of eyes to it. Maybe not necessarily, you know, the topic that's being discussed, maybe they wouldn't be too proud of, but maybe buzz is good, Buzz, I guess.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it'd reach a large audience.

Speaker 2 Can you settle a debate for us? Because we've been going back and forth, back and forth since the World Series on this one.

Speaker 2 If a team gets no hit, but it's a combination no-hitter, did they still, is that, did they get no hit?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I feel like you don't feel as bad if you're on the other team. You're just like, I guess it just wasn't our day.

Speaker 5 We didn't get any hits today.

Speaker 5 But if it's like one guy that no hits you, I think you're just like a little more, you're a little more pissed off if you're on the other team when one guy no hits you as opposed to like

Speaker 5 combined no hitter. But anytime you lose like a World Series game, whether you got no hit or you scored 10 runs and lost by one, like you're still going to be a loss.

Speaker 1 A loss is a loss. But it's a no, it is a no-hitter because they got no hits.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, you're going to be in history. You're going to be in the history books.

Speaker 2 As a no-hitter. As a no-hitter.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 2 We just want to clarify for Max.

Speaker 1 Max is a Phillies fan, and he just adamantly is like, it wasn't a no-hitter. It's like, well, did you get any hits? He's like, no.

Speaker 1 He's still doing it. He's still trying.

Speaker 5 I don't know if I've, I've been on a few teams that have been no hit. I don't think we've ever had a.

Speaker 5 I don't know if anybody's combined no-hitters.

Speaker 1 When it's happening, are you guys in the dugout?

Speaker 5 You feel it coming. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like

Speaker 5 once like the sixth inning rolls around, seventh inning rolls around, you're just like, hey, like

Speaker 5 somebody should probably get hit right here.

Speaker 5 We're going to need somebody get a hit. Like,

Speaker 5 it doesn't even matter if we lose.

Speaker 1 It's just like, hey, somebody get fucking hit, please. I don't care who it is.

Speaker 5 Like, you know, back in the day, like, it could be the pitcher. We don't care.

Speaker 5 But you feel it coming, especially if the guy's like... on a roll.
Like if you've seen the guy a few times and you're like, oh yeah, like this guy's got pretty good shit today.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We might be in trouble.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Are you you in favor of bouncing to break up a no-hitter?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 if it's like the first couple innings still, like maybe if it's like a 0-0, 1-0 game. But if it's like seventh, eighth inning,

Speaker 5 I don't know. Maybe in the World Series, though,

Speaker 5 that's a topic.

Speaker 5 If it's 1-0 in the World Series,

Speaker 5 I feel like you kind of have to in a World Series playoff game.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'd say even if it's the ninth inning in the World Series, if it's a 1-0 or 2-0 game, yeah, bunching.

Speaker 1 It's the World Series, yeah.

Speaker 5 it's when it's like 10 nothing and a guy's bunting right what are you doing right then it's like hey man like you gotta out of respect to the other guy like that you're competing against in the major leagues like hey get like a get a real hit yeah you know not that a bunt's not a real hit but in that situation yeah so off that what's your favorite unwritten rule of baseball unwritten rule of baseball

Speaker 5 I feel like a lot of them are gone now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Most of them.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 that one's still around for sure.

Speaker 1 My favorite is just if you, if the team drills your best player, you got to drill the other guy's, the other team's best player.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 5 what's kind of behind that is if you are the other team's best player and you see the other team just getting smoked all the time, when you go up to the plate, it is still in the back of your head sometimes.

Speaker 5 You're like,

Speaker 5 shit, I could be eating one right here. And like the first pitch of the at-bat, you kind of like, sometimes you just kind of feel it out.
Like, all right, like. Let's see where this goes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 5 Like, the guy throws it close to the zone or it's a strike. He's like, okay, I guess I'm not getting hit right here.
Or there are times where it's like, it goes behind you at 97 miles an hour.

Speaker 5 So then the next pitch, you're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Here we go.
It would be nice if they just, like, when they do that, just not throw it that fast. Just kind of lob it up and just let you just take it.

Speaker 2 A gentleman's

Speaker 5 dealing with it. And it's never the guy, like, if that ever does happen, it's like never the guy that's throwing like.
90. Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's always the guy that's throwing 100 miles an hour, 98 miles an hour. And you're just like, damn, that's going to hurt.

Speaker 1 This is going to suck.

Speaker 1 It sucks. It sucks.
It has to really suck.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then you gotta pretend like it doesn't suck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But the whole time down the first base, you're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Speaker 5 I can't feel my arm. I can't feel my leg.
Like, something, it just, this sucks.

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 5 you know, you get the first bass and like, hey, you alright, dude. It's like, no, I'm not all right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. It's like, I can't feel my entire arm right now.

Speaker 5 Like, oh man, that sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 5 Or when it's like on accident, I was like,

Speaker 5 happened to me one time.

Speaker 5 It was like a day game. I think it it was in Cincinnati.
It was like one of those 11:30 or noon start times.

Speaker 1 And I think it was

Speaker 5 Luis Castillo was starting for the Reds. And I think I might have been leading off for the Brewers at that time.
And it was like, hey guys, happy 4th of July. How's it going? You guys have a good one.

Speaker 5 You know, it's going to be a hot one today.

Speaker 5 You know, talk to the catcher, the umpire, like, everybody have a good game.

Speaker 1 And I was like, all right, cool, cool.

Speaker 5 First pitch was like 98

Speaker 1 off the ankle. oh i was just like god this sucks it's like he's like my bad like no shit yeah

Speaker 5 and we we played together in miami a little bit like he's an awesome guy like luis is luis is a great dude but uh

Speaker 5 it's just a really tough day way to start your noon game you know after after a night game day game noon game fourth of july 100 degrees in cincinnati just

Speaker 5 98 off the ankle to start the to start the day.

Speaker 5 That's tough. It's not going to be our day today, I don't think.

Speaker 2 This isn't so much a question as it is just a topic for you to elaborate on and expound on. Do you remember the 2019 postseason?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was quick.

Speaker 7 Yeah, what happened?

Speaker 1 What happened there?

Speaker 5 I was watching that one from the bench and it

Speaker 5 didn't go the brewers' way there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was, you guys had a one-game playoff against who was it?

Speaker 5 I can't remember. I'm not entirely sure.

Speaker 2 I don't know who we were playing. Oh, it was the national team.

Speaker 5 No, I don't know. I don't know if it was.

Speaker 2 We crushed you that game, right?

Speaker 5 It was a blowout. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I wouldn't have to go. No, you guys were up.

Speaker 2 You guys were up late, right?

Speaker 5 Potentially. That might have been something that might have been like a four-out window there that changed like baseball.

Speaker 1 Like baseball history.

Speaker 5 I can't remember entirely who we were playing, but

Speaker 5 that was a tough night.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Are you like us as fans and you go back?

Speaker 8 I'll look at

Speaker 2 the roster from that 2019 Washington Nationals team, and I'll just look at it and just fantasize and be like, damn, that was a good team.

Speaker 1 That was a really, really good team.

Speaker 2 Yeah. What do you think is the best team that's ever been assembled?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 5 I mean, some of the recent Dodger teams probably could have

Speaker 5 given anybody a run for their money, even though

Speaker 5 they won in 2020. But I think some of the ones I had, like 21, 22, were like really, really talented.

Speaker 1 Anytime a team wins over 105, it's like...

Speaker 5 It's so hard to do.

Speaker 5 You have to be so good, like top to bottom, to win 100 games plus.

Speaker 5 I think some of those Yankees teams from back in the day were just really, really, really good. Everyone always likes to say like 98 Yankees is the best team.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 But I remember us, like, we played that Nationals team in the regular season. Like, this is a really, really talented team.
Like, they get in the postseason. Like, this can be a problem.

Speaker 5 And, like, that's when you're playing really good teams like that, you want to play them in like a one-game playoff because anything can happen in a game. Like, you can beat anybody.

Speaker 5 The worst team in baseball could beat the best team in baseball in one game. Right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that one sucks, dude.

Speaker 5 Like, anytime you lose in the playoffs, especially like that because both clubhouses are like prepped for like all the the champagne stuff yeah so like when you lose those games because we've been in we've lost game sevens we lost that wild card so when you lose those games like all the celebration shit's just like laying there and you just like you just like walk right by it into like a silent locker room and it's like everybody's just super bummed out because your season's over and like anything can happen in the postseason like you have a chance to win a world series so that's brutal it's uh it's a depressing atmosphere after those games especially like that like it happened so quick.

Speaker 5 That was the bottom of the eighth inning. Yeah.

Speaker 5 We lost.

Speaker 5 Three outs happened in the next five minutes and the game was over. And we went from winning to five minutes later, season's over.

Speaker 1 That was awesome.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. I was just going to say, is it possible to drink a sad bottle of champagne?

Speaker 1 I haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 You walk into the clubhouse and there's booze there. You're upset.
You just go like that.

Speaker 5 No, they take it all out and they bring it to the other side.

Speaker 1 There's nothing even sitting there.

Speaker 5 But what's sitting there is like the t-shirt and like the goggles like that you see everything the hat like that everybody's in so like when you win those games and you do like the the champagne thing like usually um

Speaker 5 like the guys that run the clubhouse are sitting there they have like all the stuff lined up you give them like the game hat and like you put your your cleats in like a like sections and then they hand you like all the celebration stuff so you put all that on whoever's doing like the on-field interviews like they wrap that up the manager gives a speech and then that's when you see like on tv everybody like popping the champagne so when you lose all that stuff's still laying there.

Speaker 5 You just walk right by it. There's no champagne because they took it to the other locker room because they're going to be the ones that need it.

Speaker 1 Damn. That's brutal.

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Speaker 5 There's different tiers of it. So like all your position players, the guys that play like every day, they're like their own brand of psycho.
Okay. You have the relievers.

Speaker 5 Those guys are pretty crazy, actually, because they'll like, it'll be like 10:30 at night, and they're like slamming a Red Bull with P4 and a five-hour energy to go close up the game.

Speaker 5 Like, you're not going to sleep till like 6 a.m. if you do that.
Yeah. So, those guys are coming in.
I've seen guys that take like the red hot stuff.

Speaker 5 You guys ever had that? Like, where you put on, like, your body feels like it's on fire.

Speaker 5 Like, I played with a guy that used to put that up his nose in the bullpen before he came in the game, and he threw like 100 miles an hour.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 5 God, that guy's on our side. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then, yeah, you just have like starting pitchers all kind of have their quirks. Like, I think just being in the game of baseball, you're kind of like your own brand of psycho.

Speaker 1 I always thought it would be catchers. I mean, like, it feels like

Speaker 1 bullies are psycho in hockey, and catchers feel the same way where it's like, who would want to crouch for three hours every day?

Speaker 5 Yeah, just stopping like projectiles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 5 Getting hit with bats and foul tips and all kinds of things. Like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, you guys are crazy.

Speaker 5 I wouldn't want to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like you go out and you could go multiple innings in a row where you just never see the ball.

Speaker 5 I've gone whole games where I didn't do anything besides stand out there. There's like one or two of them a year where.

Speaker 1 Are those fun?

Speaker 1 Kind of. We had one game.

Speaker 5 I think we had a game with the Brewers last year where there was not one outfielder that caught a flyball. Holy shit.
It was all ground balls and strikeouts.

Speaker 1 That's so fun.

Speaker 1 I would love playing. You're just sitting out there.

Speaker 5 Like you went and just hung out in left field for an entire Major League game.

Speaker 5 Anybody in the stands could have did what you did that day in left field.

Speaker 2 But you're also like repositioning yourself depending on who's at bat. So you're walking around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're walking.

Speaker 5 Well, you have like a card that tells you where to stand. So before every game, they give you whatever team starting lineup is, they have the analytics card that they give to you.

Speaker 5 So depending on if it's like a right-handed or left-handed pitcher, it tells you basically where you're supposed to stand. So you just walk to where it says.

Speaker 1 Stand there.

Speaker 5 The next batter, you walk to where that tells you. So you're just kind of like, we just went for a walk for a year.

Speaker 15 It was a fun day at the ballpark. It was a great day.

Speaker 5 Just looked around, took a couple at

Speaker 5 hung out, took in the scene, and went home.

Speaker 2 I have one last, last question. The slide that you have in Milwaukee, like two reporters broke ribs and

Speaker 2 wrists and legs.

Speaker 1 People get hurt on that every year.

Speaker 2 Why is that? Why is it that it's not that good?

Speaker 1 Why does it say

Speaker 5 you go down fast? I guess Bernie obviously goes down all the time. I've only been down at one.
I went down it one time, actually, last year.

Speaker 5 And you come off that thing hot.

Speaker 2 I didn't think you did.

Speaker 1 There's like a whole, there's like a whole pad set up at the bottom of it.

Speaker 5 And you're just like, it looks like a normal, regular, like little slide. And you're, you're hauling ass down that thing.

Speaker 5 And so I asked our trainer, he's like, yeah, every year I get like two or three calls from like the other side where they have somebody that needs to go to the x-ray room from the slide.

Speaker 5 And yeah, I was a Dodgers reporter. He

Speaker 5 broke his wrist and hand in a bunch of different places.

Speaker 1 All-time cards.

Speaker 5 He had the game with

Speaker 1 the cast. He had the cast, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He still played the game. He did.
He did.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Christian, this has been awesome.
Great catching up, man. And I'm not going to say best of luck because you're in the Cubs division, but, you know,

Speaker 5 opening day, we play those guys.

Speaker 1 In Chicago or Milwaukee? In Chicago. Oh, really? Yeah, so I'll get food.
Yeah, it will be like. You just have to wear it for three hours out there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And people, you know, don't say mean things to Christian. Wink.
Wink.

Speaker 5 They won't listen to you, I promise. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. Don't be mean to him.
Don't say mean things to him. Don't tell them, say, hey, I saw you on that porno when you were eating that ass.
Don't do any of that.

Speaker 5 No, they would never do such a thing out there, especially in the bleachers on opening day in Ridley Field. No, no such thing like that would happen.

Speaker 1 Please don't. I'm all right, man.
Thanks so much.

Speaker 5 Always a pleasure, guys.

Speaker 2 Christian Yellich was brought to you by

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Time to wrap up.

Speaker 1 I've had a bad sports weekend and someone offered up the thought what if hank gets the lottery ball and i was like don't ever say that a good news though it's not gonna happen it's never gonna happen also the conspiracy theorists out there who was like i saw one person said if hank ever gets it they're just gonna delete the tapes because it's good for content hank would actually murder us like he would kill us you would you would quit the show Yeah, you guys, I could delete tapes.

Speaker 8 Billy can delete tapes.

Speaker 1 You guys wouldn't even know. I don't know how to delete it.

Speaker 2 He's an expert. I do not know how to delete it.

Speaker 2 If you get it right, then what people don't realize is that Hank's life has become a never-ending series of people coming up to him and whispering numbers into his ear.

Speaker 2 Because Hank is very, very much looking forward to turning the page on this.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's do it.

Speaker 1 Have you ever gotten it? Let's get out of here. Have you ever gotten it? No.
Yeah, it's never going to happen.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go 99.

Speaker 1 It's a numbers.

Speaker 1 That's false start.

Speaker 2 So, what does that mean?

Speaker 1 That means you have to wait now to pick Life.

Speaker 2 I'm last, okay.

Speaker 1 Number six. Season nine.

Speaker 1 Who had it? Check the tapes. Check the tapes.
Rockstar.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give it to you. I'll give it to you.

Speaker 2 Billy, do you have any comment about last week when you told everybody to check the tapes and I clearly beat you on the tapes?

Speaker 1 You also were saying that when you were losing beer competitions, which also were videoed, and you could see that you lost.

Speaker 12 Well, the thing is, when you're chugging the beer, you can't see when the other person finishes.

Speaker 8 Right, so when you finish, you're like, no way, I lost that.

Speaker 12 Because I was. Well, the thing is, the first night the heavy hitters showed out,

Speaker 12 and then I was getting caught some IPAs, which just aren't fun to chug. I'm not chugging IPAs.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to wait.

Speaker 11 Billy tried getting a

Speaker 11 beer snake onto the broadcast when I was calling it, and it was unsuccessful.

Speaker 12 It was successful. It just went down really badly.

Speaker 2 We couldn't try it again.

Speaker 1 Again, it was unsuccessful. Sounds like

Speaker 1 it got into the video camera. It sounds like it.

Speaker 12 And then it just went coming crashed down on all the people around us, and it was just really bad vibes vibes from some parents.

Speaker 1 All right, so you have 69.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 8 let's go 99.

Speaker 1 I'll go 17. Bitch.

Speaker 5 18.

Speaker 11 Remember, three is out and I think 45 is out.

Speaker 1 My son picks 6. 4.

Speaker 12 45 might come back in.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go 55.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I'm actually rooting for 20 to be a kid.
Because Max being an almost winner would be just so fucking funny. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Wow. He needs the money, too.
He does.

Speaker 1 Did he pay you? Well,

Speaker 1 let's just say Max paid me half, and I was like, oh, great. He's just, you know, Venmo restrictions.
He's got to pay me the other half tomorrow.

Speaker 1 We're on like day six of tomorrow.

Speaker 2 He's been on vacation, though.

Speaker 1 He has.

Speaker 11 UCLA won today on the road at Colorado.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that price is going down. UCLA,

Speaker 2 so when I put my future in, it was plus $1,400. Now they're down to plus $1,200.
Yeah. And they're going to be a one-seed probably, right?

Speaker 9 Oh, they're in good shape.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I like UCLA.
I'm going to have UCLA.

Speaker 1 I have Tennessee UConn. And then I'm going to have a mystery team that it is your team if you're listening right now, but you don't know what team it is.
But it is your team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you. I'm talking to you right now.
I'm freaking out. JMU.
No, no, no. It's your team.
The people who are listening right now, yeah, I bet on your team. Nice.
So I'm rooting for your team.

Speaker 1 But it's a mystery team.

Speaker 1 18, 18. You've never gotten this?

Speaker 1 This would be an all-time fuck-up PFT if you false-started and you got it. I don't.

Speaker 2 I would take credit for it.

Speaker 1 Oh, 55. Oh! 55.
Yeah, got it! Yeah! Oh,

Speaker 1 pay the man his money.

Speaker 1 Pay the man his money. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Oh, Hank. And Hank took my number.

Speaker 1 Easy.

Speaker 1 What did you just make? Like 3K? Oh, man. Did you pay this week?

Speaker 2 No, what's crazy is that...

Speaker 2 No, no, that dollar bill's been there for three weeks.

Speaker 1 That's not a $10 bill.

Speaker 12 No, that $20 has been there for three weeks.

Speaker 2 I know because I thought it was one of your guys.

Speaker 12 I didn't take it.

Speaker 2 You know what's wild? Is that I said $99 and then I started.

Speaker 1 And then Hank was like, oh, I'm going to take his number. So thank you, Hank.
Thanks for the assistance.

Speaker 11 Also, I'm pretty sure Hank said it's been a trend of double numbers.

Speaker 1 44 needs to hit last week.

Speaker 1 There has to be so much money in there. Oh, man.
Oh, my God. PFT.

Speaker 2 I don't even know if that's accurate. So much.

Speaker 1 Third time? Third time? It's probably like four grand in here. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Good for you. Hank.
Thanks, Jake. Hank, you could have.

Speaker 1 If you had just not taken PFT's number, it could have been you.

Speaker 2 You know what? Here, let me see that money.

Speaker 1 I don't have the key. Oh, who's got the key? I think Memes does.

Speaker 9 We might not ever be seeing that money, I feel like.

Speaker 1 No, we're going to get it out. Oh, no.

Speaker 12 Memes, remember I gave you the key?

Speaker 1 Memes got the key. Damn, Hank, that was so close, except not really.

Speaker 1 What was your other pick going to be? 55?

Speaker 11 We're going to put it on Jamie to get it.

Speaker 1 Were you going to pick 55? I might.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think he was going to pick 55.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 2 Jake, since you were were the first to congratulate me and you were very sincere about it, I want you to have this money that was outside of the space.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's nice. Here you go, Jake.
That's nice. Oh.
Sure win.

Speaker 2 What is that? Congratulations.

Speaker 2 We have a champagne.

Speaker 1 Now Hank has to win.

Speaker 1 You have to put more money in here, right? Little Veuve Clicot. So you owe more money in here, Hank? Oh, no.
You have to double it, right?

Speaker 5 I don't want to take it. It's your winnings.

Speaker 2 Jake, don't double sportsmanship.

Speaker 8 You have to double it.

Speaker 12 Jake, Taken, just...

Speaker 1 You have to double what's ever in the middle of the day. Did you care?

Speaker 12 Jake, you don't want it.

Speaker 1 Don't give it to Billy. Do not give it to me.
Here you go, Jake. Oh, my god should i come on jake you don't want it should i pop this right now hey can you open this up for me

Speaker 1 jake you don't want it

Speaker 2 so much oh my god it's the blue it's so much

Speaker 1 i'm gonna count you out like i'm a bank okay teller wow okay blue cash yeah wow this sucks how many seconds of the episode is that okay in payment one two two minutes three four

Speaker 1 three dick jokes six seven eight nine ten that's a thousand wow

Speaker 1 If there's insufficient funds, we just do the math.

Speaker 11 How many weeks times how many people, right?

Speaker 1 13, 14, 10.

Speaker 2 No, I don't need to nickel and dime you guys. I've won it before.
It's not that big of a deal for me.

Speaker 1 Wow. 17.

Speaker 1 Hank? 18. 18 grand.

Speaker 2 Wait, watch out.

Speaker 1 18 grand in there.

Speaker 2 $18,000.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 1 I'm happy for you, BFT.

Speaker 2 Thanks. You deserve it.
Thanks, Big Cat.

Speaker 2 You just said you needed to win something this almost all your team stinks that's true that this almost makes me whole for the doink almost yeah there you go and hank

Speaker 1 you have to double that hank

Speaker 1 are you gonna put it in here do you put it in here what do you do

Speaker 2 so you're gonna pay me eighteen hundred dollars

Speaker 1 wow

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 1 congratulations bft what a moment there is true where were you wow oh it tastes so good oh pass this to hank i'm good that's great you want want a sip? You want a quick sip? No, thanks.

Speaker 2 Hank's doing the thing where he's watching like Stephon Diggs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, I'll remember.

Speaker 11 I'm so loud you were drank champagne after a victory.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 11 Learning a lesson from Max's.

Speaker 1 Good point.

Speaker 1 Billy, this does mean we all have to put $20 more in this. Right, right? Yeah.
Hustle is.

Speaker 5 Here you go, but I have some champagne. I'll have some.

Speaker 1 Why not? I think the tradition should be all the winners

Speaker 1 celebrate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Billy. Oh.

Speaker 1 Give one. Everyone who's gotten it should be drinking champagne right now.
Wow.

Speaker 1 What time does the woman go? Jake, take a swig real quick.

Speaker 2 What time does the hustler club close to?

Speaker 1 Now, Jake, pass it to Hank, because you've won it, right? Nope. Memes has won.
Oh, no. But Memes only guesses like...
Memes guessed like four times. Memes has won it, right? No, he hasn't.
Oh,

Speaker 1 should I call Max Somba? Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, Matt. Yeah, I'll call him.
Yeah, call him when you.

Speaker 1 I'll call our other Max.

Speaker 5 Here, if you want to give them a virtual.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's call both Max's.

Speaker 5 Champagne.

Speaker 1 This is fucking great.

Speaker 12 Or let's call the bar he's at and order him a glass of champagne.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell Max that Hank won it. And then he'd be like, no fucking way.

Speaker 1 This is so much fun.

Speaker 1 Wow, that was funny.

Speaker 1 Hey!

Speaker 1 What do we got?

Speaker 1 Hank won the lottery ball. No, he didn't.
Yeah, no, he didn't. PFD did, though.
So we're drinking champagne.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 we had everyone in the studio who's won it gets to drink champagne. So I wanted to call you because you would be drinking champagne with us.

Speaker 1 I may need to get a glass of champagne.

Speaker 3 You should.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Send it to the group text. Send us a picture of you drinking champagne as a lottery ball winner.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. Awesome.
All right, see ya.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, that's great. Crazy crazy take.

Speaker 12 But Coors Light tastes way better than champagne.

Speaker 1 That's not that crazy. Coors Light's the best beer ever.

Speaker 2 See if he's going to pick up. He's probably in the West Coast, right?

Speaker 2 yeah make sure he drinks some champagne too and anyone at home who's won it please raise a glass of champagne hey max what's up what's up dude hey i wanted to let you know um that i got i got the lottery ball correct yeah

Speaker 2 my take tonight

Speaker 2 Yeah, and so we're passing around champagne. Everyone that's gotten it is taking a sip of champagne.

Speaker 2 So I wanted to let you know that as a past winner of the lottery ball, you should have drink some champagne, Max.

Speaker 1 Drink some champagne. Look, we got champagne.

Speaker 18 Wait, can I get a look at Hank not getting any champagne?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, he didn't get to drink any champagne. He didn't get to drink any champagne.
Oh, wait, Max, Max, Max, you know what the best part is?

Speaker 1 PFT went off sides on the picks, so you can't say your number until I say numbers. So he said it too early.
He said 99, and then Hank decided to take PFT's number, so PFT went to a secondary number.

Speaker 1 That number won. Ah!

Speaker 1 How sweet it is.

Speaker 2 How sweet it is. I got that live money, Max.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 great all right have some chip in yeah have some chip in hey you're the best pft hank you stick

Speaker 1 all right love you max and that's coming from a loser max is a loser he choked in the genesis

Speaker 1 he fucking did yeah yeah no yeah yo you know stop it stop it no

Speaker 1 max is good he's good people um hank any comments about what is taking place here

Speaker 8 i was actually texting max uh on friday and was like you don't actually consider that a win, right?

Speaker 8 And he was, he said, no, he said, if, you know, if your friends asked me, I'd say yes. If my friends asked me, I'd say no.

Speaker 8 And then we were talking about how I told him I just need to win it and win the money.

Speaker 2 Oh, but I won the money.

Speaker 1 And that didn't happen. You didn't win the money.
Memes, can we make sure we get another bottle of champagne for whoever wins it next? Because

Speaker 1 it will happen again. It won't be Hank.
This cash shadow is fantastic. Yeah, shout out to you on your mind.

Speaker 8 If you can buy me that the Arizona merch you never bought me.

Speaker 1 Oh. Oh.
Now we're getting in a bet off.

Speaker 2 I asked you if you wanted me to buy you the merch, and you said, forget about it.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 We walked past the store in the airport, and you're like, you want it here?

Speaker 5 I was like, no.

Speaker 1 We got to stay in the bottom of the house.

Speaker 11 If you wanted to air the HOMA interview before the episode, it would have come naturally.

Speaker 5 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 It did come naturally. It counts.

Speaker 1 Either way, give Hank a little sip of champagne. Come on, Hank.
Give him some champagne.

Speaker 2 Here's $100.

Speaker 2 I don't want it.

Speaker 1 I don't want it.

Speaker 1 Take a little sip. Hank, you want $100?

Speaker 1 It's good. I'm 24 hours sober.
Yeah. Yeah.
Come on. This is fucked up.
All right, so

Speaker 1 we could keep this show going for 24 more hours.

Speaker 2 You want $100?

Speaker 1 Take it. There you go.
Take it. There you go.
Oh, wow. You actually gave it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's $100. I'll be needing that $1,800 back from you.

Speaker 12 PSP? $500? I actually. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Big cat, you want $100?

Speaker 1 Billy, you know what? Memes. I have my $100.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 Psych.

Speaker 12 Oh, seriously. Scouts, Scouts Honor.

Speaker 2 I owe you $40.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Billy. Take that $100.
Memes, you want $100? 100 bucks?

Speaker 1 Yeah, get memes. Get it 200 bucks.

Speaker 1 200. Come match, memes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, 200. Here's 200.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. This is fun.
This is Christmas. Okay.
Yeah. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 What an ending to the show. That's great.

Speaker 1 I just want to see what the next poll will be. It doesn't count.
Okay. I just want to see.
I want to see.

Speaker 12 Wait, do you have any cheesesteaks left? I hope it's 99.

Speaker 1 Imagine if it was 99.

Speaker 1 Imagine if it was 98.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 99.

Speaker 2 Wait, what is up?

Speaker 1 He gets so dead inside. Oh, it's 80.

Speaker 1 Oh, man, you're such a loser. I love you.
You'll never get it. I'm so happy.
This is the only way I've had all weekend is just watching you lose.

Speaker 1 God damn it, does it feel good?

Speaker 11 We can have our graphics guy, Shane, make a banner for how many times?

Speaker 11 I'm four.

Speaker 1 You guys, you're three.

Speaker 2 I think that's three for me.

Speaker 1 You're one or two.

Speaker 1 Two, and I had that one where I went back-to-back, but that was on short porch.

Speaker 9 Official part of my taste was.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a huge part. Really, what are you five? Yeah.
Hank, imagine that. I didn't even try to get two in a row.
Well, Max is one. I got two in a row.
Like a Matt Hanks.

Speaker 1 And you haven't even gotten one. Officially?

Speaker 1 No, but listen. All right, yeah, no.
Oh, okay, but you haven't even gotten one practice. I see you.
Every morning I come in, a little behind the scenes. I get in around 8:30.

Speaker 1 Hank is in here just pressing the lottery ball machine, guessing numbers. And he still hasn't gotten it.
The guy's practicing, and he still hasn't gotten it.

Speaker 2 All right, what a fun show.

Speaker 1 Nothing matters. I mean, no, no, nothing matters.
I don't care anymore.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is stupid. Love you guys.

Speaker 12 All woolly mammoths have won the lottery ball this machine the same amount as Hank.

Speaker 1 I actually had that planned.

Speaker 1 It's written down on my notes.

Speaker 2 That was special stop.

Speaker 2 I don't know what

Speaker 2 to say, I'm telling you anyway.

Speaker 2 Today's a moment to call you Shiner.

Speaker 2 I've been coming for your love of day.

Speaker 2 No, I've been coming for your love of me. Day

Speaker 2 on me.

Speaker 2 Dave

Speaker 2 on me. I

Speaker 2 leave you.

Speaker 2 Needless to say,

Speaker 2 I've thought today,

Speaker 2 but I've been so let away.

Speaker 2 Smelling the mind is okay,

Speaker 2 stay on me.

Speaker 2 Please let it be safe for sorry.

Speaker 2 Thanks for playing to be safe and sorry. Hey,

Speaker 2 you're

Speaker 2 drinking.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 drink only I'm gonna

Speaker 2 drink.