Christian Yelich, An Insane Sports Weekend Recapping CBB, Fury/Paul, Russ Wilson Postmortem And More Plus Lottery Ball Drama

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Christian Jelich back on the show. A huge mistake by being PFT for longtime listeners.
They know that we have a bet that we will get into with Christian Jelich that we've had for about four or five years now. This was a mistake because we love Christian Yelich.
We actually ran into him randomly on the side of the street. We're like, dude, come back on.
But now everyone's going to talk about this again, and we have just resurfaced the bet. But great conversation with him about baseball, spring training, new rules, everything, getting kicked out of games.
Awesome interview. interview we're gonna talk a little weekend sports we had an insane college basketball saturday jake paul versus tommy fury lebron 23 most important games is is going right now uh and of course we got who's back of the week great show.
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Alright, back to part of my take. Let's go! Fight! Fight! Now in the Go.
And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Pardon My Take Today is Monday, February 27. And boys, there was a lot of sports this weekend.
A lot of things to discuss. I don't know where.
Choose your own adventure. Where would you like to start? Because I actually have a list of things we can discuss.
Yeah. Why don't you say.
Here, I'll number them real quick. All right.
Say a number one through four. Seven.
Seven. Okay, seven.
Bull riding. Okay, bull riding.
Yeah, it was sick weekend for bull riding. The Canadian Bulls really showed out.
It's like the opposite of the Stanley Cup. Right now, Canadian Bulls are dominating the PBA circuit.
They're all the way back. It's a PBA spelled E-H.
Yes, yes, PBA. No, we had had an awesome weekend of sports i actually why don't we start with the fact that saturday in college basketball felt like a march madness day it was absolute chaos nine ranked teams lost yeah saturday and the way they lost and i want to say a quick shout out to one of because i think the the when we when we talked to Titus last week and talking about how we miss coach K college sports obviously everyone has their teams wherever they went to school everything like that but a lot of college sports because the players change every single year is about the program and the coach and, I'm a big believer in the little signs

and the butterfly effect.

I think Saturday we got the chaos

all because of Fran McCaffrey's stare down.

From that point on, the day just went off the fucking rails.

There's nothing like a good old-fashioned coach

just staring at a referee so close,

and neither one of them was going to walk away.

They both stepped up.

Yeah.

It was incredible.

It was just so if you missed it, Iowa, Michigan State, Iowa was losing all game. Fran McCaffrey is a very angry coach.
He's probably top three angriest coaches in college sports. He got into, it was in the middle of a timeout.
He used, instead of coaching up his team, he decided to go walk and stare at the ref standing on the baseline with the ball he started about 10 feet away from him and he slowly got they just didn't say a word it was like madison bumgarner and joe west didn't say a word to each other a good solid 25 second stare down both of them stepped into it and then finally iowa coaches assistant coaches were like friend you're gonna get kicked out of this game and then you can't get kicked out of a game for looking though for not not using your words for just the only way possible for a stare down like that to end with both sides saving face and neither side feeling like they lost is if they just continue to get closer and closer until they just kiss yeah they had to kiss they had to break it up but And then so the reason why i say that his stare down started the chaos michigan state was up 13 points with a minute 31 left and iowa won the game by six in overtime it was absolutely chaotic an insane scene and then we went on we had florida state down 25 they beat miami on a buzzer beater which was just a brutal like the guy hits Miami hits a three to go up two with like four seconds left he's doing the like are you not entertained Florida State just inbounds the ball right back in his eye three buzzer beater we had uh Arizona State buzzer beater that was awesome awesome and was pure from half court. And that was Arizona was leading by 10 with 630 left.
We had Indiana swept Purdue for the first time in 10 years. We then, I stayed up all the way until I saw.
Well, congrats to Purdue for winning the Big Ten. Yes, on a loss.
They won the Big Ten. Yes, they did.
They did. That was.
At least a share. But as we say on this podcast.
That's a win this podcast that's a win that's a win that's a big 10 the um and then we had late into the night like it was like 12 30 at night i was watching on my phone in bed with my headphones in san diego state buzzer beater to beat new mexico and uh rick patino jr unfortunately the pit was rocking but it was just like it felt like one of those days where it really did feel like a tournament day where it was just nonstop action. Every two hours, another crazy result happened.
And it was a nice reminder on like when we're starting to get our feet wet with all the other sports. Oh, yeah.
College basketball fucking rules this time of year. Sometimes the sport just knows when they have the spotlight.
Yeah, this was the first weekend where truly college basketball could be like, okay, it's our season. Major League Baseball tried to upstage them with spring training games with the giant bases that they have.
And I'll be honest, the bases do look awesome on TV. Thank you Rob Manford for listening.
He's got his finger on the pulse of Seamhead Nation. The bases really do it for me, so good job on that one.
And baseball has its own moment right now because they're just trying to figure out all the new rules and is absolutely chaos. We had a game end today in a tie because you can tie in spring training on a violation, a shot clock violation for the hitter.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not stepping into the box. We had a couple of those this weekend, too.
And the games are going way faster. It's like two hours 20 minutes per game as opposed to like two hours 50 minutes it's chaotic old spring training games now uh i've got i've got my guy that drafts for me every year for the cmd express he's the guy that he was in a fantasy league that he used to dominate that ended up having two future actual baseball gms okay so this guy corky knows his shit he is projecting right now an average decrease in pitch velocity this year of .02 miles per hour because of the new shot clock rules.
So keep that in the back pocket. We're going to see slower fastballs this year.
And also a lot more steals, too, I would assume, because of the pickoff rules. You can only go twice.
And the bigger bases. Yeah, and the bigger bases.
Yeah, we'll get into more of that with christian yelich we also just shout out keith hernandez who it's spring training for the announcers too uh he was calling a spring training game between the mets and the marlins and uh marlins player jazz chisholm he introduced as chaz jism which fucking rules it's just a great name is this is he holding right now Keith Hernandez because I think that he had he had some uh contract disputes right like Keith Hernandez was he was like I'll go to a different team I don't care no he just he consulted with his cat who is I don't know if this is knowing too much about Keith Hernandez which is just following him on online but he he has a cat he might have multiple cats but i know he has a cat and his house he's set up like it's a it's like basically if exhibit did a pimp my ride for a house for a cat yeah like there's a bunch of like weird shelves there's actually a an entire shelf that goes the length of his ceiling that the cat can just climb around and like walk the cat just walks around. He's like a Walenda brother.
I love it. Just walking around the house.
I love it. Here's a take that I'm going to squad on.
Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. That's why he's messing up names.
But, I mean, is it really a mess up? Because Chaz Jism is just a Hall of Fame name. It's a better name.
It's a way better name. It's a way better name.
Someone's got to to have that porn star name so baseball tried to steal away the spotlight but college basketball was incredible uh unc got their first quad one year yes our quad one way of the year yes against uva yes so unc's back you mentioned rick patino jr rick patino is sneaky still a great coach oh yeah rick patino his name is going to be mentioned in some bigger jobs that are going to open up got to win the Mac tournament that's all all that matters can you please say it correctly St. John's yeah there was there was a push by St.
John's fans maybe to have Rick come and coach I mean it would be great the red storm once every once every 28 days did you just fire Jim Boeheim no it doesn't have to be this year it doesn't have to be this year okay okay yeah when it yeah when the time comes time comes what about this what about this because we talked with with mark titus last week about how frustrating it is the fact that duke basketball is not hateable why don't we just get the patino to duke train going oh how nice would that be that would be hanks yes looked up he's ready to uh John Shire's a good guy. Great guy.
Great guy. Is he winning basketball games? Well, they did.
They kicked the shit out of Virginia Tech. They're going to make the tournament in year one.
I'm just saying, that's not Duke. They're supposed to be Duke, Jake.
That's what you can always say. Oh, and speaking of hot seats, Cal is off the hot seat.
Kentucky is hot. They killed Auburn.
Oh, what about Patino to Ole Miss? Sure. They just fired their coach.
Yeah. He loves Ole Miss.
That'd be nice. He loves Young Misses, too.
Yeah. Got all the Patino puns out.
BFT just emptied his college basketball clip with Patinos. No, I'm excited about Patino getting a big job.
I think that I think the time is right for him to get back. He's been laying low for long enough.
The sports better when Rick Patino is patrolling the sidelines in a major conference. You should just go back to Louisville.
They're the worst team in the ACC. It would make too much.
God awful. I actually saw a game in person.
LIU versus Merrimack, which it was very funny because i went to the game there was i'm there you walked in for free so i was like they didn't charge no i i was confused just walked in with my son watched the whole game after the game let him run on the court and then like all merrimack staff was just like what the fuck you doing here? And then one guy on Merrimack came up to me.

He's like, you know Ken Palm?

And I was like, yeah.

He's like, we're actually the number one defense.

No, Merrimack's the number one defense.

Oh, L.I.U. is 363 out of 363.

They've won three games all year.

The worst team at college basketball.

So bad.

So bad.

But I guess Merrimack is the number one defense in terms of turnovers.

Yeah.

So that's nice.

Shout out Merrimack Hoops.

There we go.

He was like, it was just very funny that he pulled me aside.

I was like, you know, Ken Palm, number one in defensive turnovers.

Hang the banner.

Yeah.

Like that's a subset stat.

I love that.

I love that.

I mean, if, yeah, it was great.

If I, if I was number one ranked anything in the world, you better believe I'm pulling

that stat up all the time.

But college basketball was awesome this weekend. And Caitlin Clark.
Yeah. I'm inside.
You see that buzzer beater. Yeah.
Yeah. Rutgers.
Shout out Rutgers. Big comeback against Penn State.
I bet on Penn State. That was unfortunate.
Yeah. I guess I should do.
I was going to be my who's back. But Wisconsin just is I it's been torturous to watch them this season.
The Hunter Dickinson one guy you can't have who's been basically uh being the heel all year he hits a three when they should have fouled I they tried to foul at half court at the possession before but everyone's like they should have fouled they should have fouled they should have felt Greg Gard said that he did give the call to foul on that possession yeah I'm not talking about yeah I know you the that you're talking about yeah but also on the last possession greg guard he was telling his team to foul i know and apparently they were trying to but they weren't fouling hard enough it was bad job of fouling yeah and then hunter dickinson put the ski mask on it was bad big buzzer they are one and one against the badgers this year so i don't that was he was like he hunter dickinson put out an Instagram post being like, I stood by everything I say.

The badger killer.

You went one and one.

He's the badger killer.

Yeah, you went one and one and it was two pretty tight games.

But I, so I had a tweet after and I just, here's what I don't understand.

So obviously we wear our heart on our sleeves as sports fans.

I am 38.

I should be more mature than this, but I'm not. I'm being honest.
I'm being vulnerable. I absolutely let my team's success dictate my mood.
I was very upset, grumpy, mad, all those things. My question to you, BFT, is why can't I be a grumpy, bitch after my teams lose and everyone else can i think i should be able to be like i if anything people should be applauding the fact that i'm a grumpy triggered bitch after my teams lose because i could easily just remove myself and be like oh well i'm you know i i got a lot of things going on in my life i I'm successful.
I don't need to care about a bunch of 18-year-olds playing basketball on a Sunday. That's kind of your job.
Well, no, but I would care even if it wasn't my job. That would have ruined my day no matter what.
The way I look at it, you'd rather care way too much than be completely numb to it. That's the danger that you live in if your teams are just consistently bad for a long time so if you still feel pain that actually means that you're you're still expecting good results it's once you stop with that expectation yeah that you're just numb and you're used to it and then you just lose all interest in sports you don't want to get down that road i also think that there's something to be said for having sports be your outlet as a guy to be able to get emotional about stuff.
It's a free space. It's a safe space for us to get triggered at because if you let those emotions seep into other parts of your life, then that's bad.
But now you've got this one outlet where you start stinking. They do.
But the reason why is because of sports. Yeah.
That's what I'm saying. They send the whole day in a sprout.
Yeah, that's good. I think that's a good thing for you to have.
All of our listeners, our lovely AWLs, I guarantee when your team loses, you're a grumpy triggered bitch online and in person. Let me have the same.
Let us be the same. Let me lash out and be upset for a little bit because i was upset the way they lost upset me yeah it's good ruined my day because like you can't if they had just lost in a regular loss i would have been able to deal with it but not fouling up three with a second and a half left that ruined my day and it's hunter dickinson who Yes.
Who's been, he's been trying to joker-fy himself this year. Correct.
He's been doing like a half-assed version of method acting, turning into Heath Ledger. But this was actually like the joker-ish response that he had.
The one time it actually worked for him. It worked.
It worked well. And they're going to lose to Illinois and Indiana, so they probably won't even make the tournament either.
Yeah. Two bubble teams.
It's just, I just afford me, again, I think that people should applaud the fact that I still let a bunch of fucking kids, they're just kids, playing a basketball game on a Sunday afternoon, ruin my day and maybe my week and possibly my week. Like, this one could have ruined my week, yet to to be seen how I wake up tomorrow morning.
People should applaud that I still care when I could just be like, ah, fuck it. Who cares? It's just a game.
So just afford me the same right that you have to just be, you know what I mean? I know people when they get upset when their team loses, they just go and they argue with people online. It's an outlet that we all need.
You know what you need? You need to get on that burner life. The burner life really changed the game for me.
I like to just do it myself. It's so fun to just get anonymous and just reply to a major reporter's tweet or like a final score tweet, and nobody even knows that it's you.
It's so good. Yeah.
I just like to do it myself, though. I like to just be myself and let you know I'm vulnerable.
I bleed just like you. I'm getting into a dark place and the reason why i brought up the the being numb to things is because that's kind of a personal situation that i'm i'm anticipating going through very soon because you you experienced it with the bears this year even before the season started no expectations whatsoever with the bears i found myself in a place where the next year I really don't have anything to look forward to sports-wise dude at all we're the same yeah no no no no I I was thinking about this independent of you I was thinking about how sad it is that the best thing that's happened to me in my sports life this year is that the Bears were the worst team yeah that's literally the best thing that's happened yeah well the best thing that's happened to me in the last calendar year is the report that dan snyder was going to sell the team which looks like it's not even going to happen now right so i've i've got i've got the gnats they're going to stink the caps are selling everything they stink right now i've got the wizards kind of uh but I'd never care about them and then Dan Snyder sticking around so I no I'm a DC defenders guy now two and oh DC defenders two and oh first place in the east we need to stick we need to be like uh like boondock saints when we're back to back just fighting everyone because the hanks of the world these people winners running around or even the almost winners the maxes of the world they can laugh in our face i did the same calculation in my head the cubs might be frisky but let's be honest they're not gonna like do anything the the the like biggest story for the blackhawks has been just waiting for patrick kane to get to see what you can get player ever yeah like the best american hockey player ever is oh when is he gonna get traded uh the Bulls signed Pat Bev who is a culture changer but the peak now is to uh make the playoffs and lose in the first round that's the ceiling yeah uh and then the Bears have the number one again the best thing that has happened to me the was the Badgers are on the bubble and probably out.
And the best thing that's happened to me this entire year is that the Bears were the worst team in the NFL. Yeah.
That is a very good thing, though. That's a very good thing.
All right. The best thing, I guess I'm just going to have to be a full-time smash golf club.
JMU's three wins away. No, they can't play.
Yeah, they can. No they can.
No, this is another D1. I'm going to blame this on Hank's misinformation because that's what we blame everything on.
They moved conferences, but they were still D1. It was Hank that said that because he gets everything wrong in college basketball.
It was, so JMU, when they moved up into the Sun Belt in football, they had a one-year postseason ban. When you change conferences in basketball, you can still do that.
So JMU. They were in the Colonial.
Yeah, they can still win the Sun Belt tournament. I literally fucked it up.
I told like 400 people that this week. I was walking around all week just telling people that.
So the fourth season. I look like such a fool.
I know. I was like, hey, did you know JMU can't make it? I know.
That's what everyone's been talking about. Ten teams ineligible in college basketball.
Oh, Merrimack's one of them. Yeah, Merrimack is one of them.
They pointed that out to me. The turnover rate's too high.
Actually, last year, Bellarmine won the A-Sun tournament and they couldn't go dancing. Yeah, that was a bullshit.
Yeah. Another piece of Brandon Miller news also happened this weekend.
Yeah. When he came out on the court for pregame introduction, his teammate patted him down when he stepped out on the court the court now he has been doing that all year and it's a pretty common pregame introduction thing where they pat you down like you're stepping into the octagon but as nate oates said not great optics yeah when you say bad optics that's just a code word for being like it was bad it was bad nate i so brandon miller like they again they it every time.
I kind of figured that when I saw the, like, the intros. Like, this is probably planned.
It's like a handshake, whatever. He's an 18-year-old kid.
This portion, I'm not going to talk about the other stuff, but this portion, he probably didn't think twice. Like, oh, I probably should do it.
Nate Oates is a fucking douchebag. Because Nate Oates is like, he said in he said in the comments he was like yeah i don't really watch the pregame that's not what like part of what i'm doing and then he realized like oh shit this is another situation where i'm doing a boys will be boys yes and he shut it shut it down in his own brain mid-sentence and was like yeah we'll stop doing that it was bad nate oats just have a little common sense for team.
You're coaching 18-year-old kids. You have to be the common sense.
Yes, he is. He's the brain.
He is the adult in the room. Yes, exactly.
It's like if LeBron James got busted for distributing fentanyl, I would imagine that he would stop doing the chalk toss at the scorer's table pregame. Yes, correct.
But he's an adult. He's a father of three.
Right. Brandon Miller, yes, maybe.

You know what?

I'm just going to say, I think Brandon Miller probably should have not done that.

He shouldn't have. I will say that Brandon Miller, just because you're 18 years old, you should probably not do the weapon pat down.

Agreed.

Agreed.

But you also, Nate, I'm going to put a lot more blame on Nate Oates for all of this in terms of how he's dealt with it.

I would say, yeah, in this circumstance.

He's a bad guy.

I would say 40% Brandon Miller's fault, 60% Nate Oates' fault. Yes, yes.
All right, so wait. When we talked about football there for a second, I had a thought that popped in my head talking about how bad our teams are.
And I want to throw it out there as long as this is the trust tree. So maybe no one repeat what I'm about to say outside of these walls.
I had a thought that popped in my head. It's a scary thought.
It's something I don't want to happen but I also have played it out in my head and it would be kind of exciting. The Bears trade the number one pick.
We all expect that. If they don't they should just burn the whole franchise down.
The Bears trade the number one pick. The Bears also trade Justin Fields.
Then you just get loaded. Just have like eight first-round picks.
And here's the reasoning. And again, I don't want this to happen.
Justin Fields is the guy. I'm just saying this.
You would become the Falcons. Your entire team would just be first-round picks.
I'm just saying this. I'm just saying this because there is a theory out there when you're talking about the Eagles, Jalen Hurts.
The Eagles were able to load up because they were able to take advantage of a cheap contract with a quarterback. The Bears are in a weird situation where they have to get kind of good this year to see if Justin Fields really is that franchise quarterback.
I think he is, but you have to, there still is some holes in this game. I'm fully admitting that.
So you have to get kind of good to get to that point. And then to get to that point, you would then be in year four and start running the clock on like, now you're getting really good, but now you have to pay him a lot of money.
What if if they said we've wasted two years of this financial flexibility of a young quarterback what if we just strip it all the way down and get all the picks and have all the cap i and kill williams drake may is coming up i would need to do that again i do not want this to happen the thought came in my head because this is what we do as stupid sports fans where you're just sitting on a friday night and your brain is wandering what you're watching a movie and you're thinking like what if the bears do this that's literally what's happening the problem with that is if you're the gm of the bears and you hit that big reset then it's then you you put yourself on a clock too it's the craziest move you know it's great it's a crazy move but it also you could talk yourself into how crazy it is you've been watching you've been watching draft day it's so crazy it might be smart by this logic are you basically saying that the quarterback position is like the running back position and it's almost interchangeable billy that's what we've started we started that take like a month ago with brock purdy it's like you don't you don't even need a good good at quarterbacking. No, no, no.
You still need a very good quarterback. But there is a – like it is pretty clear you either have a really great quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow, Josh Allen, like whatever.
Chino Smith. Chino Smith.
Tyler Huntley. Or you have a very good quarterback.
So he doesn't have to be all world great, but a very good quarterback on a cheaper deal, and you can load up around him. But then I would point you to recent history and look at teams that have won Super Bowls and look at their quarterbacks.
Patrick Mahomes. They're pretty good.
Yeah, no, they are. Tom Brady, Matt Stafford.
But I would then point to you and say teams that lost Super Bowls, they went through this model. Yeah.
No, no, no. Yeah.
It hurts. Jimmy Garoppolo.
I guess he was a little more expensive, but not as expensive. Yeah, no, it's actually, it is a great way to lose to get to a Super Bowl and lose to a better quarterback to lose a Super Bowl.
But I, you, you wouldn't take losing a Super Bowl right now. Oh, I'd love to.
I would love to. If I lose a Super lose a Super Bowl, that's a dream, sir.
Actually, I mean, if you told me I could lose the next three Super Bowls, I'd be like, sign me up. Yeah, I mean, that's title time.
That means I can win three NFC Championship games? Yeah. Holy fuck.
That actually, that would total up if you have three seasons in a row losing a Super Bowl. It means that you have, what, 18 months of pure joy in your life over the next three years? Including, depending on, like, if you get the bye or not, you have, like, I don't know, like, seven to nine playoff wins? Yeah.
The Bills had, they had no idea how good they had it in the late 80s, early 90s. They had some great football out there, some great home games in the playoffs.
I mean, it is true. I mean, now they're semi-back, but you wish you'd known it was the good old days when the good old days were happening.
There was a bleak 25 years in there. Losing Super Bowls would be so fun right now.
The Cowboys would kill to lose some Super Bowls. Oh, my God, Jerry Jones would do anything.
What do you say, Billy? Who's your quarterback then? Next year. It's a total, like, reset of everything.
Again, I don't want to do this. I think Justin Fields is very good.
I think they should keep my – my official stance is if the Bears don't trade the first-round pick or the first pick overall for more picks, everyone should be fired, and I want to keep Justin Fields.

Justin Fields also.

Cale Williams and Drake May are both very, very good quarterback prospects.

We glossed over a little bit when Justin Fields was on the show,

but he did say he hates playing in cold weather.

He wants to dome.

And he wants to dome.

Oh, it's in Heights.

Yeah, and he loves Aaron Rodgers.

Yeah.

What if you trade Justin Fields, keep the number one pick, and take Anthony Richardson? No, shut up. That's the point is don't do that.
No, no, no, no. No.
Just throwing it out there. No.
That would be awesome. Why would you waste the pick? Go deeper.
Max Duggan. No.
Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys.
No, it would be trading Justin Fields for multiple first-round picks, trading the first pick for multiple first-round picks, and then you have – basically I'm saying I want the process because I always have thought that as much as everyone made fun of the process, the process was fun because it gave a very clear strategy to the fans being like, here's the plan. Because that's what happens a lot in sports is a team will tank and then like a team will tank and then the owner will be like fuck this i don't like this anymore like we have to start doing better so then they sign a bunch of contracts that aren't very good and they get a marginally better i liked being like hey we suck we're gonna suck but oh to suck.
But, oh, my God, once we get to the promised land, it's going to be incredible. You know what's funny is we can argue.
So that's the thing. We can talk about whether the process worked in Philadelphia, but I'm more of a process guy, so I'm actually going to take the side of the process of the process worked.
Yes. The results of the process did not work.
The picks. Because the process was in place.
You just happened to take Ben Simmons and Markel Fultz with your first picks. Instead of Jason Tatum.
Instead of Jason Tatum. Whereas if you just appreciate the process of the process, it works.
Yeah, no, he did everything that was planned. It's just the actual picks or the hard points.
We're getting double processed on this. That's where it's like this move that i just talked about for the bears would be very stupid because the the actual like plan of finding the players is the hard part getting the picks anyone can get a bunch of picks that's how the celtics team was basically constructed they had like three years where we just had going into the draft it was like we have 15 draft picks yeah and then danny would just trade them for other draft picks right and you guys are eventually now we're here age even admitted that he thought it was like it was actually kind of some luck because he didn't think that the nets when they traded kg and paul pierce to them would be as bad as they were and you guys are losing nba finals which is the dream get to a final and lose yeah not for me but that's your guys you know goals i understand yeah did you not have fun last year? No, I did.
I get it. That was a fun ride for you.
It was an amazing ride. You think about that.
You close your eyes and think about how fun that spring summer was. I've experienced it.
I don't want to rain on your parade. I know what you guys want.
It's not as fun as winning, but it's still fun. Very fun.
But once you win, it's like you just want to win.

You guys have to get to that point.

We got to taste it. Yeah.
Yeah. No, we're losers.
We are officially losers. I'm actually like we're such losers that in our wildest dreams of winning, we still lose.
That's the best. Yeah.
Yeah. Like I'm trying to think of what's a fair hypothetical.
For the next 50 years, I said that your team can win one Super Bowl, but the rest of the 49 years they won't go to the playoffs. That would suck.
Or in the next 50 years, your team can lose 15 Super Bowls. I would take one.
I don't know. I don't know, dude.
Because what a run that would be. Losing 15 Super Bowls is kind of a mini dynasty.
You get to go to – like, just think about how fun Super Bowl week would be. This is – because we've actually – this is great because we both had the thought about how bad our teams are independently, and then we've stumbled upon this hypothetical that just shows how rock

bottom we are i actually think that the highlight of my next year in sports is going to be being

ecstatic when christian yelich loses the home run derby yeah it doesn't when he bears his back

yeah fuck man billy do you feel bad for us as as bears and commanders fans no not anymore okay

all right cool i actually had some kid come up to me i can't remember it was super bowl week

Thank you. as Bears and Commanders fans? No, not anymore.
Okay, alright, cool. I actually had some kid come up to me.
I can't remember. It was Super Bowl week.
He's like, I'm a Jets fan. Lifelong Jets fan.
I want to fucking fight Billy in that moment. We were riding high.
We were like cheeseheads in Green Bay. Yeah, that's right.
It was after the Packers win. It never would be that high.
I was thinking about Aaron Rodgers' darkness retreat that he just got out of a little bit more over the weekend. I think it's the same thing as doing a death simulator.
Yeah. He was just simulating being dead for a prolonged period of time.
But it wasn't even that long of a time. But I think your body, if you just don't see any light for two, three days at a time, you probably get that DMT hit.
Your body thinks that you're dead. Yeah.
But again, he went for two nights. at a time you probably get that dmt hit your body thinks that you're dead yeah but again he went for two nights yeah that's the craziest part oh we had we did have we also had russell wilson uh more russell wilson uh like clean up the post-mortem the post-mortem yeah it's just basically any russell wilson hater just keeps getting like a new a new video just dropped on you porn come read it on the athletic russell wilson had his own office and uh everyone thought it was weird it was it's so basically talked about how everything fell apart uh in this past year uh said that he asked for an ultimatum on his way out of before the seahawks got traded he asked for pete carroll and john schneider is that right is that his name uh to get fired so basically you you know them or me situation the seahawks smartly were like well okay you you're gone and we'll get a bunch of picks for it went to uh denver had his own staff in the building had his own office upstairs and and and teammates were like he was he told us all we had he had an open door policy yeah and one of the anonymous sources was like you know what's an open door policy being at your locker yeah a locker yeah yeah everyone has an open door policy it is very bizarre to like go up to your teammates being like just so you know you can always come and talk to me yeah no shit.
And also make an appointment with my manager to see if I have time. So he's on his own floor.
It was like the Bernie Madoff thing. That's the secret floor where all the bad shit happens.
So it was like him and Hackett upstairs. And all the coaching stuff.
And he had a whiteboard that was as big as the wall where he would just write motivational quotes on the wall for himself to read, decorated like it was home goods. And the players could come up to the second floor if they wanted to.
And before Hackett was fired. Did he have office hours? He did have office hours.
Before Hackett got fired, Latavius Murray reached out to Sean Payton and asked Sean Payton, like, hey, Sean, come to Denver. Me and my backfield teammate, we want you there.
And Sean Payton was trying to think of, like, what other running backs on the team he could be talking about. He's like, who are you talking about? He actually wrote him back.
He's like, who do you mean? And Latavia said, number three, which that was the week before they got their ass kicked by the Rams. Remember when Baker dropped, like, 51 on That was that.
So Nathaniel Hackett was still the coach of the team while players on the team were reaching out to Peyton and saying, hey, Russ and I want you to coach this team next year. Yeah, it was.
I actually went away feeling bad for Nathaniel Hackett. I would like to get him back on the show.
I was thinking about it just to be like, if he could laugh about it and be like yeah i that was i wasn't ready for that job i think it would be fun but he his biggest crime nathaniel hackett was he walked into a situation where he just wanted to please everyone and he wanted to please russell wilson and he wanted to kind of be his buddy not his dad that's what you get yeah first time head coach right you don't come in and you're not going to lay down the law. He said he wanted it to be like collaborative and that Russell Wilson wanted it to be kind of the Kyrie Irving model on the nets where the players helped coach the team.
So it was Russell Wilson that was installing his own plays along with the help of his quarterback coach. And they were giving input on what the play calls were going to be to Nathaniel Hackett.
He was like, cool. Yeah.
You know, I'm not like the other coaches. right you can come talk to me i'm right i'm cool i want you guys to succeed so that didn't work at all now payton's coming in and payton's going to be like okay new sheriff in town get your quarterback coach out of my facility i'm going to be calling the plays because that's what i do as a head coach i also love that uh he was basically uh at the i think it was the last two weeks of the season they got rid of russell wilson's office because like maybe there's a bad idea

um little little too little too late i'd say yeah i mean in that situation i do you think he had his

name on the door uh maybe he probably said mr unlimited yeah mr unlimited come please come see

me if you need if you need anything yeah like that has to be the most awkward situation to be like. Like, imagine if I walked in one day and was like, listen, anything you need, you can always come to me.
No, we're teammates, dude. What are you talking about? Yeah.
Like, that's what he was doing to his teammates. Just so you know, like, if you have any concerns or questions.
Yeah, just give me a call a call it's just gonna be me and our hr rep and we're just gonna you know talk like normal guys pft if you if you need me to do a quick run through of the ads with you before we tape the show i'm happy to do that's awesome it's very very thoughtful of you no shit his teammates are like what the fuck is this guy on yeah so uh yeah that was a That was a cool story to read. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm going to access some more content on my Athletic Premium Plus account to get the details you guys don't get. Yeah.
I have Athletic Premium. Do you? Yeah.
But do you have Premium Plus? Yeah. What? It gets the podcast and stuff? No, the credit check.
The credit check, it's $4.99 a month, $400 a month. What do you mean? I just get all the information, the secret stuff that's buried deep.
Got it. Yeah.
You probably... No, I probably don't have that.
You need a letter of recommendation from three current subscribers and one editor. Yeah.
And yeah, there's like a blood oath ceremony, right? Yeah, yeah. We're not actually...
Hank, can you delete this part from the podcast? I'm not allowed to do it. I do like...
Violated my NDA. I actually do like The Athletic.
It is funny, though, that... Well, not funny because people lose their jobs.
I saw that dork, Stuart Mandel, who hated the Barstool Sports Bowl, saying that the Pac-12 is losing RS – or no, teams are losing RSN. So, like, Bally Sports isn't going to cover this team or whatever.
The day that The Athletic – he's the college football editor. The day the Athletic lost the writer for Washington Huskies and Virginia Tech Hokies.
Like, the idiocy of him to say that. Be like, look at all these teams.
They're losing great coverage. Because the Athletic needs to – they just need to do more Russell Wilson stories.
Because I'll always read that. This is my favorite part of the Athletic, actually, is the postmortems that go on.
They did one with Urban Meyer last year. I love – when things are happening, it's like we always think about hard knocks.
But I can't wait to watch this on hard knocks later. When shit gets super dysfunctional with NFL teams, I just can't wait to see that real clean font from the Athletic come out in three months where they talk about all the shit that went down.
Yeah. We just didn't add for them, but that's okay.
I mean, Stuart Mandel, you're a dork. You are.
You're a dork. I'll put out some screen grabs from my premium plus stuff on Twitter.
So you don't have to subscribe to them. I'll pass that along.
Remember when he tweeted about how upset he was and aghast he was that the vaunted bowl world was getting sullied by Barstool Sports name and you just owned him. You're like, yeah, it's not like we have a bowl sponsored by the company that kills people with bombs.
Yeah, Lockheed Martin's business model is to figure out how to kill as many people as possible as efficiently as possible but damn those guess that ass guys have a bull now yeah this is the end of the world that's a that's dork behavior it is dork i'm not saying anything mean about him he's just a dork um all right well oh should we talk about jake paul tommy fury real quick yeah i'll be honest

when it comes to jake paul fights i don't i don't really care about jake paul but i am interested in watching the hype that's been built up around him and specifically fighting a a trained boxer really for the first time and i can put that in quotes for for tommy fury because tommy fury's opponents leading into this fight

had a total record of 24,

176,

and... for Tommy Fury because Tommy Fury's opponents leading into this fight had a total record of 24, 176, and 5.
Yeah. That includes Yevgenis Andrevys, who had a lifetime record in boxing of 10, 102, and 3.
Yeah. He's lost 102 professional boxing matches.
Yeah, that's hard to do. And then Callum Ide was 0-26-2.
And then Prez Myslaw Bienneda was 2-26. And then another guy that was 0-12.
And this is what happens in boxing. You obviously, they do this a lot with any young boxer.
They want to get you as many wins as possible before they challenge you with someone legit.

I was the Skip Bayless tweet for this fight.

I was wrong about being wrong.

Because I've always stood on the stance that Jake Paul, it's nice what he's doing.

The minute he fights a real boxer, he will get beat.

Unfortunately, I didn't think Tommy Fury was a real boxer he will get beat unfortunately i didn't think tommy fury was a real boxer because i saw him fight in cleveland and he fought jake paul's sparring partner who was like eight inches smaller than him and he struggled for four rounds so that was my miscalculation yeah i mean but i was right about my original take that once jake paul fought a real boxer he would lose I just didn't think Tommy Fury was a real boxer. So now my updated boxer rankings are Jake Paul last, Tommy Fury second to last.
Jake Paul is like the best amateur boxer in the world. Yeah.
Or one of them. He should fight Bobby Light.
Yeah. Like that would be a great fight.
Or Billy. Yeah, or Billy.
I'd take that fight. No shit.

No shit.

Huge. Holy fuck.

Against Bobby?

No, no, no.

Against Jake Paul.

You should fight Bobby.

You should fight Bobby.

No, I don't want Billy.

No, come on, guys.

I don't want Billy to die.

Come on, guys.

But, yeah, I always thought.

Billy would never fight a cop.

He's a cop, right?

Yeah, I'd never fight a cop.

He's not a cop.

I always thought that Jake Paul would lose when he went up against a real opponent because it's just boxers are different like hand hand speed all these things and it just unfortunately i didn't think tommy fury was a real boxer his his uh i was wrong his bet paid off basically him dodging him for that one fight that whole drama around getting a green card basically because he was connected to organized crime with the fury family like that dodging him for all that time paid off for tommy and like hasim rockman would have killed jake paul now looking back any boxer yeah any boxer like they were doing that weird weight stuff with hasim rockman he's like they're basically trying to make me like not be able to rehydrate back to the full weight they are jake paul was trying with Rockman in the pre-fight so that he could perform to his best in that fight.

So, I mean, it does set up the perfect rematch

because I think more people are going to be interested.

I don't want to see a rematch at all.

Because at the end of the day, I watched it and I was like,

these guys both suck.

So I'm not interested in a rematch.

I mean, bad boxing is still good visuals really bad boxing yeah is different rough and rowdy coming up on friday night yeah that's yeah that's yeah march 3rd because you don't know you don't know what to expect like actually the the worst uh rough and rowdy bouts we i think we have 20 plus fights on Friday night. It's going to be incredible in West Virginia.
Every single time we do a rough and rowdy, it's so much fun. Usually the fights that are the least entertaining are the guys that know how to box the best.
Do you know what I mean? Because they know how to defend themselves and they're trying to set up the jab and stuff. So when you have guys who actually know what they're doing a little bit, like Jake Paul and Tommy Fury, but they aren't good enough to be great boxers, snooze fest.
Wait, didn't Drake put $400,000 on Jake Paul? Oof. Yikes.
I think maybe I might have made that up. Hank, you're saying yes? Is he poor now? Yeah, Drake's poor.
He's poor now. Poor.
He's a broke boy. Memes like that one like that one the conspiracy the conspiracy part of twitter the same ones that said tyron woodley do you mean you yeah no no i look i am now you know giving the warning that this is a reply guy reply guy okay it is funny that we basically you know after um january 6th they had all those articles being like the making of someone who was like in QAnon.
Like, how did this person get here? We're playing that out live every time Billy's brain. But you know how you see the devolution of the people were talking about the Tyson Fury fight.
There's a lot of people who said and Anderson Silva. They were saying like, oh, they're fixed fight.
They're saying that Jake Paul in order to sell the next fight purposely knew that it would be bad if he won this fight. No, see, that makes zero sense.
That makes zero sense. No, but it sells the truth.
It sells the... No.
Because no one would want to watch it. It doesn't because this was going to be a fight for Jake Paul to prove that he can beat a real boxer and then he fights a real boxer.
And then he would get a real, real boxer afterwards. So this just kind of like it pops the balloon of Jake Paul's growing profile in boxing where now he has to go back and start over from scratch.
And so no one out there can actually say with a straight face that Jake Paul could compete in professional boxing because he lost this match. And I watched the whole fight and at no point was like, I want to see this again.
I think casuals might. I think the storyline's better for a second fight.
For a second? Yeah. Because if he beats Tommy, they would probably sell more for the second one than the first one.
Yeah, I think so. I don't know.
So diving into Billy's conspiracy brain. Because we didn't even talk about the Anderson Silva fight.
You can spin that either way though, depending on where you're at. don't think that there's a massive conspiracy.
Like AJ Brown's tweet. Do you see that on Friday where he said that we haven't been to the moon because we've never been back to the moon.
Imagine if the U S government sent people to the moon, like every month, people be like, why the fuck are we spending millions of dollars to go to the moon? Instead of spending that money back here, you can play that either way be a conspiracy. So, like, Billy, with your point, if Jake Paul had won this fight, I'm telling you right now that his next fight would be much, much bigger.
But now it's that he lost, then you could just pull it out of your ass and say, well, no, his fight's going to be better next time because it's a rematch. No, but, like, for example, we didn't talk about the Anderson Silva fight he had like this this tommy this matchup is the most profitable matchup for him that he's but he would have gone to another boxer after this who do you think i don't he would have kept it would have what pft is saying and i agree with like jake paul's the entire premise was he's going to shake up the boxing world by slowly building up to real boxers this was his first real boxer and it's what what was the records of guys that he yeah 24 176 and five like if he had beaten him then he gets another step up then he gets another step up but i don't think the next step would have been as big of a market of people wanting to buy it maybe that's what i'm saying because like some i just know personally i did not yeah i watched it and i was like if this happens again i don't because the the the reason why i tuned in this time was to be like can jake paul beat a real boxer also he threw way like his punch output was so low jake paul yeah in the fight it was like he was uh tommy had 350 punches he only had 157 i I mean, probably when you fight a real boxer, it's probably a lot harder to time it and also be like, fuck, I could get hit at any moment.
And a guy your size and age. Yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, I feel like no one won that one. Yeah, well.
That fight. Jake Paul probably got paid.
I've always liked Tommy Fury. You do? I'm happy, yeah.
You're a big Tommy Fury guy? Why is that? I watched his season of Love Island, and I wasn't, you know, not a huge reality guy, but I got sucked into it, and I actually liked him a lot. Yeah.
Oh, by the way, Hank, since we're on you, before we get to who's back of the week and Christian Yelich, would you like to talk at all about you just stomping on the grave of Philadelphia? They've already been buried in a Saturday night. Credit to the NBA.
These Saturday night games are fun to watch. They do a good job with the matchups and everything.
But just a perfect way for Philly. The Embiid shot was so fucking crazy, and it didn't count.
Jason Tatum is an absolute ice-cold killer. How do you feel knowing that you just killed a bunch of people that are already dead i feel great i mean my my rivalry with philly is really rooted in the celtics and sixers obviously there was a super bowl a few years ago that kind of you know what happened the the eagles beat the patriots but the patriots have also beat the eagles that's just a one-one match but you know me and max's contention and and shit talking is always around the c the Celtics and Sixers.
They've had a lot of playoff matchups in the past few years. So it's a very fun rivalry to watch.
The Celtics win every single time. They were down like 15.
Maybe that's why it's fun for you. Great fourth quarter comeback.
Great Brad Stevens out of the timeout call. They asked him afterwards, like, how'd you come up with that?

He just said, I stole it from Brad.

And then Embiid, that was, when he hit that shot,

it was like, no fucking way.

And then it was just a second, second. He knew it, too.

He was in the locker room before they even reviewed it.

You remember, I think it was last year or two years ago

when Embiid had that one full court heave from,

basically the foul line.

It almost went in.

He now has

two of the best last second misses

of all time.

It was so close. And Max is still on vacation.

I'm going to call him real quick because he was

upset that you were memeing him so hard.

Not even hard. I saved obviously

the Eagles losing the Super Bowl.

There were some very, very funny memes made by the AWL.

I saved a couple of them.

And then when they lost, it was so recent that they were just at the top of my camera roll.

Yeah, he is still on vacation.

The biggest takeaway from that game.

A Sixers-Celtics playoff series would be incredible.

If you're rooting for content for this show, it would be.

It'd be us versus Max because of Blake, right?

Insane.

Yeah, I guess so.

I would just watch you guys just kill each other.

And do you support

interrupting Max's vacation right now?

Max, sorry to interrupt your vacation.

We need to comment real quick

on the game.

I didn't watch it.

Okay, alright, thank you.

See you tomorrow.

Hello? That watch it. Okay, all right.
Thank you. All right, see you tomorrow.
Hello? Oh, all right. That was it.
He didn't watch it. He did watch it.
I know he watched it because we were texting with him after. Yeah.
The Sixers court looks six, too. I'm not just a really hater.
It did. I'm a huge fan of their court.
Their uniforms, disgusting. Court looked grazed.
What would be the funniest outcome for a Sixers Celticsics series i whopping no no i think it would be i think it would be a sixers 3-1 lead blowing it that would be the funniest content would just be no no no no no no shut up hank that would not be good content think about for the people yeah a game seven the sixers being up three one max being like we've won it it's over and then you guys coming back and winning in game seven would be i mean he would maybe quit i mean uh three nothing comeback would be better yeah if that's the case yeah holy shit i think 4-0 sweep would be yes fuck you you see you don't you don't care. And that's why we camp back there.
That's not true.

No, you don't care about the people.

That's all I care about.

No, say the 4-0 sweep.

A 3-1 comeback.

Doc Rivers actually throwing up on the court in game seven as the Celtics beat them.

That's the other funniest wrinkle of it all is that the Sixers fans hate Doc Rivers.

Yeah, no, Jay Wright will be their coach soon.

All right.

We covered a lot.

It was a great weekend of sports. Sports.
It's a sports podcast. Sports, baby.
It's a lot of fun. Let's see who's back of the week.
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And then you can redeem those rewards for barstool golf merch in our store download the barstool golf time app now start earning those rewards and booking those tee times barstool golf time app now damn the padres fun money it's it's incredible i don't know i don't know where this came out of but they're you know they spend more than any other franchise i think in in pro sports yeah it's insane i mean in baseball it's it's sometimes as simple as just having an owner that wants to win games you and if you're rich enough you can absolutely just buy your way into winning games yeah manny machado toddy's jr soto bogarts you darvish it also um nelson cruz carter i mean they're they're beyond stacked i feel like part of it was the lake snell the padres all right so they did so so pete sidler bought the team in uh let's see for the first padres so it looks like 2020 if i have that right uh maybe so maybe that's why i don't really have my ownership groups correct. But I think the Padres, once they brought back their old uniforms, their owner was like, this is sick.
Why don't we have a good team? Yeah, it's a great color scheme. Yeah, right.
The dark brown, the yellow. They rock pinstripes every now and again, too.
Yeah. Maybe they purchased it in 2012.
I might have that wrong. Either way, yeah, they're spending fun money.
It's crazy. It's insane.
What are they going to do about Tatis? What's Tatis up to these days? Tell him to be a good boy, please. Yes.
He's got to be unsuspended, what, 50 games or something? Yeah, I think he had a... Yeah, he should be back.
He should be back. Just please stop doing that, I think is all they're going to say.
I think the Padres, they're going to be the most fun team in baseball this year. Yeah.
That was their baseball preview. Yeah.
Which we did with Ryan Russillo as well. That's true.
Yeah. What's your who's back? My who's back of the week is Sam Hurd.
Yes. We might have spoken this into existence last week in our cocaine bear preview, but Sam Hurd has been released from federal penitentiary in Bastrip texas after serving a 10 year sentence for distributing cocaine and marijuana just like copious amounts of cocaine and i mean that even like as a dallas cowboys wide receiver he was into significant amounts of cocaine and so he's out of prison timing is very suspicious with the release of cocaine bear a lot of people are saying that this judge might have taken some money to do some guerrilla marketing for the movie it's like that woman who was sitting in the MLB stand staring at people last year yeah whatever movie that was or when the clowns were a big thing in 2017 for it or IT as we called it what was the coke that just like got? Orange Vanilla? Remember that?

Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper.

Remember that whole March Madness?

Orange Vanilla Coke, yeah.

Yeah, what was the song?

Orange Vanilla Coke.

Yeah, that sounds right.

Yeah, so this is no way.

Yeah.

It's viral marketing. This is going to bother me.

I'm going to look it up.

Yeah, they had those guys sitting in the stands and shit.

Yeah, so Sam Hurd is officially out of prison. The Cowboys should sign him.
Like, it'd be very funny if Sam Hurd got back into the NFL after all this. Yes, I'd agree.
Bring him back. Why not? Where's the orange vanilla Coke? Let's see.
And so he was, I think we talked about it last week. He was trying to move like millions of dollars of cocaine at a time, which is, I mean, dreams you gotta have goals and ambition and he knew that he wasn't going to be the best player in the nfl so he's like i might as well be the best drug dealer right nfl right which he was on on pace to do um but credit to him for having some ambition also for for getting out of prison after 10 years yeah that's got to be such a great day great day, huh? Being in prison 10 years, you get out.
There's a movie about you? There's a movie about you coming out. I think the first thing you do after you get out of prison in a 10-year sentence, I would probably just go to McDonald's.
Get some fries. Yeah.
Get a Big Mac. Yes.
Get a huge steak. Taco Bell.
Yeah. I think you go fast food immediately, and then you have like a big dinner later on after

that where you go out and get a nice steak.

But you stop at the first fast food restaurant you see.

Yeah.

Can someone find this?

This is going to drive me nuts now.

What are you looking for?

Orange Vanilla.

No, this isn't it.

I think I was right. I think it's orange vanilla Coke.
Yeah, kind of. You're kind of right.
I don't know. There was one ad.
Someone will send it to me. Do you guys remember this? It was like nonstop.
It was everywhere. Was it 2019? Maybe.
Now we're just playing commercials. I like this.
This is good podcasting. People are like, no free ads.
How do these guys do it? We just start playing music or ads. Okay, wait.
New orange vanilla Coke. You got the green.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, yeah. Fucking orange vanilla Coke.
That racked my brains for that. What will be the ad this March Madness? There's always one because it's just the only time I know that we had the whopper whopper.
As long as it's not Mentory. Yeah, we had the whopper whopper all fall.
But March Madness is the one time of year where it's like you do watch 18 hours of TV straight for four days and you just see every act. For a while it was Impractical Jokers.
They were everywhere. I feel like Chris Paul and Rogers Mahomes.
Oh, yeah. Something's going to make us want to kill ourselves.
I'm excited to see the new Jim Nance, Charles Barkley, Samuel Jackson. Oh, yeah, road to it.
They do it every Yeah. Albuquerque.
Yeah. All right.
My who's back of the week is Live Golf. Yeah.
But no one's watching it. So Live Golf is back.
It was broadcasted. So Greg Norman last year said there were four networks that were in a bidding war for Live Golf.
Ended up being CW was the network that won out of the four networks uh you might remember cw from great network broadcasting what one tree hill yeah would they do they do sports advisors for a year in philadelphia yeah they did yeah seventh heaven yeah so it got a .2 rating on CW.

It was outrated by World's Funniest Animals.

And by the Barstool Sports Mini Golf Adventure.

Yes, yes.

Unofficially.

Unofficially, but yeah, Live Golf is back and no one's watching it.

Also, I don't know if we ever talked about it,

but it's very funny that Live Golf doesn't have the Twitter handle, Live Golf. Yeah know who has it yeah it's a girl named live olivia olivia powling in south wales she's a junior golfer age 17 and her twitter handle is live golf mbs is gonna have his goons pay a little how has she not gotten the bag yeah i'm my four-year-old son chris walked in the other day and he was like dad can we put the the aces are playing yeah can we watch the aces he's a big aces i don't know why they thought like golf is not a team sport no it's never going to be a team sport no i was rider cup rider cup yeah every two years but that's that's not teams that's that's country it's America.
Yeah. People are watching for America on that one.

Yeah.

They even try to do the President's Cup.

No one can really get into that because what is it?

It's America versus the Southern Hemisphere.

Yeah, I think it's the rest of the world.

No, I think it's the rest of the world.

Everybody except for Europe.

Yeah, it's the rest of the world.

That's like, come on.

We want to beat the fucking...

We want to beat those guys.

So I've been...

The Gulf Bud...

Yeah, minus Europe is the official. What? Yeah.
Rest of the world minus Europe. Yeah.
The official. The golf bug bit me big time.
I've been practicing a lot. I think I'm not going to try to get on the PGA Tour.
I'm not trying to become a pro in that way. But I think I would be...
I think I'm going to make myself open for the Live Tour. Yeah.
That's my goal is to have the live tour. It's going to be breaking a hundred mil.
Just give me, just pay me. Yeah.
And I mean, you think the live tour would be interested in a washed up podcast? Absolutely. Someone used podcaster as a slur at me today, but I didn't like it.
Yeah. It's our word.
Yeah. It was very, it was very.
Did he say with an A at the end or ER? You're a Jake Paul Stan 40-year-old podcaster. Oh, God.
Yeah. It was fucked up.
That's our word. Even Billy wouldn't say it.
He says all those. Yeah.
By the way, speaking of golf, we will have our full swing review on Wednesday. So if you haven't watched it, it's on Netflix.
It's awesome. We're going to have a couple guys on who maybe were featured.
So get excited. Drive to Survive is also back.
And I watched the first episode and I was racking my brain on what happened. And I actually don't remember.
Yeah. So I'm kind of fizzled out on that.
I'm excited to see what happens. Yeah.
Yeah. Full swing.
We will do the full review. but just a quick review is, oh, this was a fun memory lane of all the times I lost money betting on Will Zalatoris.
Yes. I remember where I was just because I was witnessing that.
They're like, oh, yeah, Will Zalatoris on the leaderboard. I was like, God fucking damn it.
He was always around. This year.
This is the year. For sure.
This is, I will bet him in every major until he wins a major. That is a guarantee'm going i'm going willie z and max max for the masters yep yep uh okay bill you who's your who's back bones bones are back oh yeah our dudes uh so dirty water don the guy that uh donnie does and i went diving the east river for bones with he has found a bone he found a jaw bone of a steppe bison, which is just a prehistoric gigantic bison, just like bigger horns, bigger, just like totally prehistoric bison.
Anyway, he found the jawbone in the East River. So that means that it is true.
There were tons of bones dumped there. Is that where you guys were looking? That same location? So it's a little, it was a little different of location.
It may have may have been because of how i mean almost 100 years of tidal waters moving in and out has moved some of it but they might have found like sort of the uh the jetty off where it goes where they you could find the bone so there they found the spot they're looking at it more in depth rogan uh posted their picture so, they did. How much money is that worth?

Because they were saying it was going to be worth like hundreds of millions of dollars, right? So basically, imagine you're looking for a chest full of gold coins.

They found one coin.

Right.

So then you find the rest of it.

And also, Steppe Bison bones aren't as valuable as a mammoth tusk, but it means that they're sniffing in the right place.

Which one did you find?

We found a... Mammoth tusk.
Fights that they're sniffing in the right place which one did you find we found a man of tusk fights uh halloween that's yeah the giant giant i would like to see any of these fuckers find that yeah can't yeah can't find it straight from the halloween store so are you gonna go back uh i i actually now he's found it i'm yeah you got it you have to go back going back It's definitely going to be a bone rush Billy this could be You could make Millions of dollars Honestly I think it would probably go to them We'll see if I get a cut You're really bad at negotiating right now Billy Alright we need to talk before we get on this boat You need to have Come on Or you need to buy a boat Yeah we need to get a boat An investment to buy the a fleet yeah yeah i actually would you guys like to finance another journey because then we could i'm still waiting to get recouped for my initial investment i know but we they found the bone so now this is promising this is good basically billy found a bone wait wait do i get a cut of that because i financed his initial mission well no it wasn't the initial if we found anything that day i think you'd have claims but the fact that you're not already just handing me money to go find the bones means that you're not swayed kind of missing out i am you should just be handing me like this is a once in a lifetime and just venmo probably not the cash um just it's easier to move okay but i'll consider it just think about it i'll consider can you give? Yes. Okay.
Billy just walked in and showed you the first Mac computer. It was like, do you want to invest? Billy, after you're done doing your New York Jets quarterback project, which I'm getting done when you guys are back from Indianapolis, it will be done.
I promise. Deadline there.
That's this week. When do you guys get back? Friday.
Okay, yeah, it will be done. The full presentation.
Yes yes it's not just going to be you doing a tiktok green screen no if here's why this guy wasn't good this guy wasn't good either right so i i actually have it totally outlined all right so you have till monday you have till monday and chat perfect the chat gpt will not write this is he allowed to help me edit just push it all to the weekend wait wait why why do you think that the AI thing is a he? Can it help me edit? He was just pushing it all to the weekend. Wait, wait.
Why do you think that the AI thing is a he? Can it help me edit? No. But just for grammar and stuff.
I don't think I'm way out of bounds to tell you that you cannot have a robot do your project for you. It's not doing my project.
It's just editing my project. You know how much better my grades would have been if I had this thing looking over my essays in college? Just, like, correct me.
All right, here's what I'll say. I want – give us the unedited and edited version.
Perfect. Okay.
Redline it. Yeah.
Redline the chat GBT. All right.
And, yeah, give me the New York Jets quarterback presentation. Then submit your proposal for more funding.
Well, actually, now that I'm thinking about this bone rush might be more time sensitive. Oh, so we've got to push theets back.
We might have to push the Jets back. All right.
I mean, you do make a good point because there are going to be people looking for these bones now. Yeah.
As long as you promise that you'll do the New York Jets quarterback thing soon. All right.
So give us a complete investment breakdown next Sunday on the bones and then the Jets the next week. Perfect.
All right. Okay.
Jake. My Who's Back is scoring points.
We had the second highest scoring game in NBA history on Friday night. Oh, I saw this.
Kings 176, Clippers 175. Deli.
It's a deli difference. 51.
So I had the Clippers, and I was like, I'm good, because I looked at the score, and it was like 130 to 123, three and there was like i'm good because i looked at the score and it was like 130 to 123 and there was like maybe three minutes left in the third quarter i thought it was the fourth quarter and then i looked back i was like wait what this is how the fuck did it what was it double overtime 176 175 jesus christ yeah also congratulations to the kings because in october i had them as the worst professional team in American sports. Oh, and they're good.
Like the beam. They're good.
Like the beam. You got to update that.
Your all-sports power rankings. Fox has been on a tear.
I have to update that. But, yeah, the Kings are suddenly more than relevant.
Yeah. Looking at the box score right now, two players that scored in the 40s, Malik Monk and Darren Fox.
Deli... Malik Monk, current guest.
That's right. Deli contributed intangibles to that game.
Yep. Did not play.
Yep, he did. He absolutely did.
He was on the bench for the second highest scoring game in NBA history. And he gave the boys a look in scout team.
Yeah, absolutely did. Alright, let's get to our awesome interview with christian yelich

talking a little more baseball catching up with him it was awesome because we did we we literally

ran into him out on the street outside of our bar in scottsdale and we're like fuck man haven't seen

you in a while and it was awesome to catch up with him uh got a lot of history with him and

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Make sure you're protecting yourself during this busy season. lifelock.com slash PMT make sure you're doing that make sure you're protecting yourself during this busy season lifelock.com slash PMT for 25% off okay here he is Christian Yelich okay we now welcome on very good friend of the show recurring guest fourth time on it is Christian Yelich Milwaukee Brewers also the guy who's going to maybe give us probably end the show we should start with that um so for anyone who's new to the show was it like four years ago uh Miami at the all-star game yeah we were like you don't have a home run swing Christian and you and you told us yeah I do um the next year you won the MVP and you were supposed to be in the home run derby and then you hurt your back a week before it which was thankful for us because we said if you ever win a home run derby we will eat each other's ass yeah um now there's a there's a little bit of a story to that because yes there was a video that came out that has been in a porn Christian was in a porn Allegedly, you were really tonguing down some fart boxes.
And we said to ourselves, well, your home run swing, it's non-existent. We'll eat each other's ass if you win the home run derby.
And we were very nervous. Yeah.
There was a three-week period where me and Big Cat sat down and we had to figure out, okay, how are we going to be able to eat each other's asses and still continue on with our lives? we're going to go forward yeah so so so let's start there how is the home run swing feeling and do you think you'll ever get back to being in the home run derby it's feeling pretty good actually yeah you know what you know feeling feeling healthy feeling good i think that video is honestly how we uh started to get to know each other actually yes we watched it together the alleged video i like to point out um but yeah that's still one of my still one of my biggest like regrets what if moments of my career was not not being able to do that home run derby and it was like not solely because like i wanted to do a home run derby in my life it was because of everything that was on the line and all the ways that you guys were uh scheming up to try and like get out of that bet yeah how it was gonna work i was talking to somebody about the other day after we ran into you on the streets here in scottsdale and i said i i gave them the backstory and how me and big cat were talking about what we would do to get out and maybe like i think we said we'd like cut a piece of our asshole make a chili and then put it into a chili yeah and then we'd eat the chili and that that would be better and they said to me and i felt like the biggest dumbass in the world like pft why didn't why wouldn't you just cut like a piece of your cheek off you don't have to do the asshole the bet we never said that we'd each other's asshole on the bed i was like oh my god yeah you're right we were just focused on the wrong hole yeah and you did have i have, I mean, that year, you hit, what, 44 home runs? I think it was. Yeah.
Yeah. Not so great after that.
What happened? No. Dude, I just haven't been on the show in a little while.
Yeah. You know? I think it's you guys where the key to the.
Oh, you're going to use this. You know, everybody likes like a comeback story.
Yeah. It'll be like our journey back to the home run derby.
Yeah. And then I think we got six more, at least six more years left of playing.

So you guys are on the hook for six more years.

Oh, geez.

Yeah.

I mean, you should have gone with the this year only bet.

Yeah.

Which was 2018 or 19.

I forgot.

Yeah.

I forgot which year it was, but a little bit smarter.

And then now all the fans of the show are going to hold you guys accountable, which is unfortunate. And truthfully, like I didn't want to see that happen.
I was going to feel kind of bad if it did happen. And Vide Jr., he was doing his best to help you guys out because I think he hit like 35 homers in the first round.
So there's no telling if I would have been able to beat him. Well, and also Pete Alonzo takes the home run derby way too seriously.
So we just need him to just keep competing and having it be his world series. That's true.
Yeah. He wins, I think every single year.
Yeah. You never know though.
You know, we'll have a, we'll be able to like pay him off or something, but Hey, this year you got, you got to sit out cause we got a lot of stuff on the line. Yeah.
All right. So have everybody else throw the home run derby just to see.
Yeah. So knowing that you will keep us to this, I think we can be mean back.
What happened to your swing? You stopped hitting home runs. I don't know, man.
Baseball's a hard game. It all went downhill from there.
But, you know, it's one of those things. And like I said, everyone likes a good comeback story.
Yeah. Did you lose muscle mass? Are you weaker? I knew you guys were going to ask about the steroids.
The guy's info that you gave me, he never picked up his phone. I'm offended that you thought that's where I was going with that.
But if we're going to bring that up, I'm just going to rattle this off real quick. Four home runs, nine home runs, seven home runs, 21 home runs, 18 home runs, 36, 44 home runs.
Oh, wow. Then back to 12.
COVID season. COVID season, then nine then 14 you were you did have a couple injuries in there but you know that's brady anderson christian yelich people are saying it's just what was his he had like he had 58 59 and then like back to seven a little fishier than uh yeah you know ours was kind of going like this and i think we're right

we're going going back in the right direction do you are you are you fully healthy because i know

you did have a couple injuries the last yeah no this is a this is the best i felt like in a few

years going into spring training and then hopefully keep it that way uh body feels good and swing's

been feeling good just been uh you know putting more uh more baseball time this offseason to kind

of just iron some things out and get back after it so i'm i've always been curious with this spring

Thank you. you know putting more uh more baseball time this offseason to kind of just iron some things out and get back after it so i'm i've always been curious with this spring training you know we know that like uh preseason for football guys don't like it they don't like camp probably the same for basketball and hockey it feels like spring training is just really fun because you guys get to be in arizona you get to golf and then you play, like, a couple innings of baseball every day.
And then you just – because we went to the Cubs spring training a few years ago. They would just, like, Rizzo would bat twice, then get a golf cart back to the facility and then just be out the door in, like, the fourth inning.
Yeah. The beginning of spring training is fun because it's – you come back, it's good to see everybody again.
You really probably haven't seen many of your teammates over the offseason or maybe one or two of them. But everybody's back together again, excited about a new year starting.
And then, yeah, you play like three innings your first couple games and then you have a day off and then three days. I mean, day off from playing the game, you go practice in the morning.
But if you're not playing the game, you're usually done by 10, 30, 11 o'clock and then go do whatever until you've be back in the morning i've always liked spring training yeah is it true too with spring training like the old saying hope springs eternal like every time you go to spring training even if you've on a team that maybe doesn't have a ton of talent you're like anything could happen here oh i've been on plenty of teams where it's like everyone's got us underrated no one thinks we can do this but we're gonna win the World Series. And then it's September and we lost like 100 games.
And he was like, oh, I guess it wasn't our year. They all give you like a shirt.
Back in the day, we'd have like a – we had a – I think it was about the Marlins one year. It was a shirt.
It said like chip right here on the shoulder. Oh, God.
And like a bunch of different like sayings and numbers on it. It's no one's giving us credit we got a talented room here 95 losses yeah our manager got our manager got fired in like may redmond he's a great guy we're all just like we're sorry man we all really liked him it was like middle of may and then um it was like the seventh inning and went back in the locker room to get like a protein bar or something and like on the on the tvs in locker room was like team meeting after the game and we were getting no hit at the time like uh it was like shelby shelby miller was throwing a no hitter against us he went eight and two-thirds and boar got a hit actually broke it up but in the seventh inning of that game on the tv screens was uh team meeting after after the game like everybody stick around in the locker room and you could like hear it down the hall and then uh the president of the team came in like yeah we just uh we fired mike redmond uh we're not going to tell you who your next manager is and you'll find out tomorrow when you come when you come to the stadium and that's when they made uh that's when the general manager of the team ended up becoming the manager.
And so, yeah, that was a – That was a wild time. That's crazy.
Ended up not being our season, even though we thought it was in spring training. But, yeah, kind of circling back, all 30 teams, you know, you think that you got a chance, which is great.
You know, you like being optimistic going into the season. But, you know, realistically, there's like probably 10 that have a chance to win the world series yeah when you go into spring training are there different managers that put you through different drills to get ready for the season or is it basically like everyone's working on the same stuff like baseball has been around forever we know what we have to practice to get ready yeah i think most teams probably do like similar things each manager has like their own style about how laid back it's going to be or how regimented it is or what they want to see guys doing.
And even ours, it changes every year. They're like, oh, we did this last year.
We really liked it. We're going to keep it.
Or we didn't really like this stuff. Scratch that.
We're not going to do that anymore. Is there any weird drill that they put you through? You see quarterbacks sometimes going out there with giant foam noodles or whatever and like trying to dodge beach balls like big ben outfielders they kind of give like outfielders like a lot of time killing things because like the infielders and pitchers they got to work on like bunt defenses or um you know whatever that is they're doing they always have like a ground ball routine that they got to do and then it's actually important that they figure out like bunt defense stuff or it used to be like shift shift things and then outfielders like you only catch so many fly balls or you work on like being around the wall or uh throwing the bases or picking up a ball against the against the wall spring training basically like learn how to play baseball all over again it sounds so fun it does it sounds like a blast so speaking of the shift the new rules this year um we think of more hits oh yeah is good for you yeah i mean any left-handed hitter it's going to be good because you know even if you weren't like a a guy that was like full shift full shift like you're still losing hits because of it because basically the teams are willing to give you like a single to to left field right because they just don't care because it's all about run prevention is why people shift so like they're like oh if this guy hits a single to left field he didn't hit a home run so they score like it's just a single and that's why if you've bought against the shift like analytically teams don't care it's just more so like just don't hit a homer or hit a double yeah yeah but you did get some shifts because of the you did get some hits because of the shift as well but you'd get blown up and a ball that would stop in the infield grass basically yeah ended up being a hit and and then you lose the one where you hit a line drive to right field and it hits the third baseman right in the chest yeah yeah what is the new rule again it's you can't you have to have two infielders on either side of second base yeah i think but i don But I don't know if it's just the base that's dividing it or there's more of a line that you have to stay.
And also the guys have to have their feet in the dirt. Yeah, you can't be in the outfield, I don't think.
Right. But I think you're going to see, and this is just a guess, is I don't know if you can have a guy in motion.
You can send a guy from shortstop and just have him start fucking running as soon as the pitcher throws like i don't know if that's legal that will be exciting though that's great or if you have like a you could probably do like i bet you'll see teams that do like a two-man outfield like center fielder and left fielder and like move their right fielder to where like the shift guy used to be oh you know if like there's a guy that doesn't really hit the ball to left field very much this is gonna be like a chess match so there's There's ways around it. It'll be interesting to see if teams get super, super creative with that.
I bet a team like the Rays or somebody would do something like that. Or like us.
That's something we would probably do too. Why don't you guys take the catcher, and when there's two or fewer outs and nobody on base and less than two strikes, you just move the catcher and you put him at second base and you just be in the umpire.
Because there's still strikes, right, when they cross the plate? Technically, yeah. I'm sure the umpires would be stoked about it.
They'd all be fired up about that, just having to wear 100-mile-an-hour fastballs off the chest. How many times have you been kicked out of a game? I feel like you were kicked out last year.
Twice last year, I think. You have an total.
Yeah. Bad attitude? No, honestly, there's been a few times where I'm like, oh, this is probably deserved.
Like a lot of times they give you a chance, like especially if they kind of know like, oh, man, I might have missed it. They give you a chance to like stay in the game.
They'll let you say some stuff. But then once you say a few magic words, you cross the line, you get thrown out.
A lot of times, I mean, I think all of my ejections have probably been pretty well deserved. Were any of them intentional? Like you just didn't feel like playing the rest of the game and want to get home? No, I mean, I got thrown out in the ninth inning one time last year.
It was like ninth inning with two outs. We were losing by like three or four.
Most of the time when you get thrown out out of the game you get back in the locker room and you're just like the fuck did you do that for like that was not worth it yeah um but yeah i don't i don't remember even i don't even remember what what they were for it's all been balls and strikes for the most part yeah can't argue balls well one of them was uh i uh it was like a check swing i kind of like my bat, and they appealed. And they said I went around like strike three.
So my bat was on the ground, strike three. Obviously didn't agree with it.
But I didn't really do anything. I didn't really do anything yet at the time to get thrown out.
And so I was walking back to the dugout. I was like, all right, it's two outs.
Just go go back to the dugout but my bat was still on the ground and uh the home plate umpire was like hey you need to pick your bat up and so at that point you have like two two choices you either pitch out and be like okay pick up your bat or you just say you fucking pick it up and then you get thrown out the game. Wait, but did you...
I think there's more than those two choices, but I like that.

No, no, that's it.

So that's what i said obviously you know what's coming as soon as you say that like you have that moment of where you've got to decide like shit am i picking this bat up or am i getting thrown out of the game it's just like fuck i'm getting thrown out of the game and so when you get thrown out though you get a you get a letter from the like the commissioner's office like stating like because the umpires have to write a report every time uh you get thrown out of the game and it tells you in the letter like what you did to get thrown out it's like in quotations and i forgot what mine said um but it said something like at which point like you were told to like pick up your equipment and you said, and you said, you fucking pick it up. It's like, I always, I always, uh, save those letters cause they're kind of funny.
You end up being closer with the umpires that throw you out too. Cause you're just like, yeah, like the next day you still see him.
Cause they're there most of the time, the next series, you'll see him down the road and you're just like, yeah, my bad, man. Like I know I deserve that.
Like, you know, no hard feelings. Like that's on, that's.
That's on me. It's cool, and then you laugh about it down the road.
Did you end up picking up the bat? No. If nobody picked it up, the bat would still be laying at home plate at an American family field.
Then you won that exchange. There's two choices there.
You either pick it up or you regret that you picked it up when you're back in the dugout. I i'm gonna look at every every player that that actually picks up their own bat after they strike out it's kind of a beta yeah yeah i mean i would never do that well it doesn't happen most times because or i guess guys would probably do it on like a three two count this one wasn't uh this was like two two or like one two so technically like it wasn't like a walk to where the bat would be on the ground so like i know why he told me to pick it up right because like three, two or like one, two.
So technically like it wasn't like a walk to where the bat would be on the ground. So like, I know why he told me to pick it up because like three, two, like you thought you walked, you put your bat down or something.
But I kind of went like this to the third, third base umpire and, uh, somewhere on the, like the back kind of just like fell out of my hands. Right.
I might've dropped it, but, uh, do apologize to you? Are they ever like, yo, I fucked that up? Yeah, not when they throw you out usually. Like if there's like a, you know, they punch you out or something on a ball that ended up being a ball.
Because they get like a scorecard after every game that they do. So they kind of see like the calls they missed or could strike out and be like, hey, man, I don't think that was a strike.
I had that wherever. And most of them will be like, hey, let me know.
I might have missed it. And you appreciate those guys.
Or they'll tell you the next day, hey, man, I messed that up. I missed that one.
You're like, hey, cool, man. I appreciate it.
We're all human. It's a hard game.
The ball's moving 100 miles an hour.

They're trying to do their best, obviously.

So when they miss one, like, hey, dude, I messed that up.

You're like, hey, it's all good, dude.

No hard feelings.

I like that.

As long as there's no animosity.

They don't target you for anything.

It's not a repeat thing.

No, honestly, they're all really cool guys.

You get to know a lot of them, especially the longer you play in the league. It it's the same umpires every year so um you develop a relationship with these guys and obviously you're cooler with some than others but i wouldn't say there's really any any guys that are too too bad of dudes so do you not want robot umps i don't want robot umps no because i think there's gonna be a lot of unintended consequences with that because like if you just have like a square that buzzes ball or strike that you have a guy that sets up on one side of the plate and then this dude yanks 100 mile an hour fastball all the way across the other side of the plate with the catcher diving and it nicks the box like that's gonna be that'll be a strike when on no time ever in baseball history,

is that going to be a strike or pitchers will be able to find a way to like,

there's a lot of like curve balls or breaking balls.

That'll be like in the dirt.

That'll clip the bottom of the strike zone technically,

or like the ones that are at the top of the zone too.

So I think there'd be a lot of unintended consequences.

If it was just like the box, they'd have to figure out a better way to do it.

I don't want robot arms.

Also what you were talking about earlier, like, you know, these guys,

you know, the umpires,

I just... So I think there'd be a lot of unintended consequences if it was just like the box.
They'd have to figure out a better way to do it.

I don't want robot umps.

Also, what you were talking about earlier, like, you know, these guys, you know, the umpires.

I do think that there's something to be said for like the umpires are kind of good for the character of the game.

Yeah, it's part of the game.

It makes it feel like, you know, an actual thing that we're putting on here instead of some like sky judge overseeing everything.

So I can agree with that. And you get like maps as like a player, like before like before the game like the you'll have like a hitters meeting every day before the game talking about whoever the the other team's starting pitcher is and then you know who the home plate umpire is going to be and like where there's a tendency for them to call more strikes opposed to other umpires or where they call less strikes and then sometimes you know like if an umpire kind of lines up with what a starting pitcher likes to do, you're like, oh, shit, this might not be good tonight.
If we don't have an actual umpire on the field, we need a dummy that's dressed up as an umpire just for the managers to go out and scream at when something doesn't go their way. What are they going to do, go yell at a robot? I don't know.
I need to see managers getting right up into an umpire's face. You're going up as umpire and go out there yeah i mean there should be a decoy umpire i'd go one further it would be nice if it was just a like decoy umpire and it was just lou piniella every time and just he was just spitting on people the best like one of the best like baseball highlights that there's ever been going around the internet was when uh terry collins from the mets got caught on the mic when uh when cinder guard threw it utterly and he just comes out there and he's just losing his your ass to the jackpot yeah and tom hallion's awesome guy he's a great umpire uh super good dude he's just like trying to diffuse the situation but fans just kind of see that on either tv or the stands like they think these two dudes are just going at it saying super personal shit to each other but most of the time it's just arguing and then one guy trying to calm the other guy down yeah and uh he kind of just like ran out of things to say yeah yeah like you're asking the jackpot he's like oh shit like you agree with me yeah terry kind of like i don't know what to do trying out here you gotta give me a chance yeah but it's so good for the game though because like people it's entertaining right you know at the.
Right. You know, at the end of the day, it's an entertainment business.

So, like, hey, make things that are entertaining.

That's a fact.

Did you – last umpire question, did you get Joe West anything for his retirement?

No, I didn't, actually.

I actually really liked – I really liked Joe just because –

and he was actually, like, a phenomenal umpire when he locked it in.

Like, balls and strikes, he was one of the best guys in the league

when it was, like, you know, a Sunday night game or playoff series. Like, he was really, really good.
But, yeah, he was awesome. Like, as a rookie, he would kind of, like, test you, like, intentionally do something where you're like, what the fuck, man? And see how you kind of reacted.
And if you just, like, kind of took it, like, okay, this is just part of, like, getting your feet wet in the major leagues yeah he would always like you yeah if you kind of like turned around and like showed him up like the pitcher could throw the next ball halfway up the backstop there's gonna be strike three which and i always love joe and um i like all those umpires and like side note like kind of on kind of get uncomfortable talking about it because it's such a integral part of your life you don't want want to ever critique them or have them think bad about you because that's definitely not what I'm trying to do or want to do because those guys are in it with us, man. We're all trying to do the best we can.
They're all really good dudes, and it's a really, really hard job at the end of the day, even though I have been kicked out of four or five games. We're going to try and stop that.
We're going to try and stop that. Nah, maybe like once a year.

Yeah, it's fun.

Can you give us a heads up?

Like, let us know if there's a game that you –

like probably against the Reds or some bullshit team like that

that you don't really care about playing against.

You can just give us a heads up like, hey, Thursday, I'm going to get ejected.

I get ejected.

Just let us know.

It's never – you know, I wish it was like a pre-planned thing

or just like, nah, I want today off.

Like first inning, I'm getting hucked.

Yeah.

Which my first ever ejection was a first inning ejection, And then Mattingly, he got thrown out as well. So you're like, oh, shit.
Like I got thrown out and I just got my manager thrown out in the first inning. And then you have to sit with him? Then you have to sit with him.
I sat with him in his office. So we're up by five and you're sitting in your manager's office.
It was like the eighth inning. It was on the Marlins.
We ended up blowing the lead in the eighth inning. It was like Mattingly, me, president of the team, all in his office watching the game as we're blowing a lead.
And you're just sitting there just like, fuck, dude. This is so uncomfortable.
It's like, I hope we win, man. We're going to get back to Christian Jelic in a second.
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Order now on DoorDash, Uber Eats, Postmates, or Grubhub. And now here's more Christian Yellich.
When you got learn more order now on door dash uber eats postmates or grubhub and now here's more christian yelich oh when you got when you got traded from the marlins how long did it take you to learn all the new intricate handshakes in the clubhouse when you got to the brewers it changes every year and honestly i'm not i'm not like a huge i'm not a huge handshake guy i needed like that's always been a part of like my career where i needed to like step that up i don't really have a ton of handshakes with a guy every now and then there's like three or four guys on the team like i might have something with yeah but there's guys that have something with everything bros over there he's got a handshake with everybody on the team trainers coaches everybody to me that would be so stressful when you go like mid-season you arrive on a team now it's like oh shit i gotta relearn all that stuff in addition to everything else you can always just do the like the dj jazzy jeff and fresh prince one which is the yeah that one that one always simple yeah that one plays you gotta learn all your new teammates and coaches and everything mid-season trade i got lucky as off-season trading that's what spring training's for yeah you got six weeks to you know come something. I saw a story.
Did you lose a home run derby to Barry Bonds? No. So the media, they love that one.
So what happened? Because this was obviously when Barry was the hitting coach for the Marlins. Yeah.
It was a spring training thing. So we were just hitting off a curveball machine on one of the backfields after the morning workout, getting ready for the game.
And sometimes guys like to play games or compete against each other. So you have something where you're kind of locked in instead of just going through the motions with the drill, being like, ah, I'm just going to take a few swings and whatever happens.
So it was pretty unfair teams, actually. It was like me, Stanton, and Barry Bonds.
And it was against – I forgot who else. but it was like me stanton and barry bonds and it was against uh i forgot who else but it was like jeff mathis who's like one of my best friends in the game but uh him whoever else was on the marlins at the time but it was like very lopsided teams it was like you're just trying to score runs it's like and i think barry was the judge whether it was a hit or not so it was double singles and then obviously home run scores um whatever whatever points at the time it was and he hit the most home runs during that drill actually still uh but it wasn't officially a home run derby well it sounds like one but he did hit the most he did swing and miss at the first curveball.
We're all laughing at him. Like, oh, you don't got it anymore.
And then the next pitch, the next, like, five, he hit a homer. Like, I don't know.
Maybe you still got it. But there was, like, some media guys or beat writers kind of off to the side, like, watching the thing.
And it kind of just, like, turned into, like, Barry Bonds wins, like, Marlon's home run derby, which technically he did, but it wasn't a home run derby. I'm not saying that he couldn't win a home run derby because he could, and the game looked super easy for him when he was playing, and he helped me tremendously when I was with the Marlins.
He really helped me understand like hitting and how your body works and everything that goes into it. Yeah, we've always heard, because Barry is a pretty private guy when it comes to the media.
There's some reporters, and I think this is baseball thing in particular where some beat reporters they get mad at people for like not giving them enough coverage or access or whatever the case might be but barry always seems like he's i mean he's obviously a legend and when he was coaching you can you tell us like what he's like as a person because i feel like i don't really know anything about barry bond as a person he was he was really like funny to be around as a hitting coach for us. And he just understood the game and hitting different than really everybody else or had really good awareness of where his body was at or what he was trying to do and accomplish.
Because anybody could hit a home run and not necessarily understand how that happened. Happens to me all the time.
yeah, you could hit a ball over the fence and you could like, okay, cool. Like that ball went over the fence.
It was a home run. But like, how did that happen? What did your body do to like allow that to happen? Like mechanically.
And he was kind of able to break that down, explain it, show you, um, and kind of give you like thought processes to help you achieve that with your body. Yeah.
Which was cool. And maybe you guys are going to need to bring him out of retirement and enter a home run derby if the day ever comes where I'm fortunate enough to compete in one and be healthy.
How much money would you pay to not have to eat my ass? Whatever Barry wants. Yeah.
He can pretty much pick his number just blank blank check maybe we should throw that into okay so if you win the home run derby we obviously have to eat your ass but within we have to eat each other's ass i almost had to eat your ass there but if we can if we can get barry bonds to compete against you within six months of you winning the home run derby and he beats you we're out i mean, it seems pretty fair. I don't know how we're going to have to be like, I don't even think like, I think like if you guys, I think if you guys like started a campaign to like fund payment to Barry bonds, like I honestly don't know if people would donate to that.
Cause I kind of think they want to see you play up on this bet, which is probably just like some sadistic bet. Yeah.
But it's a, what we're going to end up doing. And this is just the God's honest truth.
honest truth we're gonna be like if we eat each other's ass part of my takes over forever so you guys can vote and then people will vote and we won't eat each other's ass it's a good chance that the show sticks around i think that might be your that might be your one out it will just it will just be you know what it is is if we have to end up doing this it's more like the random silences yeah like when we're just sitting in a room together it's like we'd always know yeah like it's like i know what your butthole tastes like what's up dude that's not something that you can that doesn't wash away it's your deepest darkest secrets yeah something that at the end of the day like you're alone with yourself somebody said the other day like your obituary will be written it'll be uh the best thing that you've ever no it'll be the worst thing that you've ever done followed by the best thing that you've ever done and in this case like when i die my obituary would be like yeah ate dan katz's asshole one time and then it'd be a tough it'd be a tough scene yeah tough scene but honestly it's weird for me like that like my association with you guys in this show is like synonymous with that because there's like it's once a day at least like i'll be walking down the street and somebody is like you gotta do the home run derby bro big cat pft we gotta get them to pay up every day it happens every day during baseball season like at the stadium i get yelled that every day at the stadium with that and then walking down the street like it happened yesterday at uh waste. Just walking around like, dude, you got to do PFT.
You got to do PMT, PFT, and Big Cat. Got to make them pay up.
We need you back in the derby. I'm like, oh, my God.
The same would happen to me when you had that insane season. Every time you had a home run, I'd get tagged in like 100 tweets.
Your Twitter's just blowing up. He's hot.
He's hot. Yeah, it was bad.
I get it. I get it.
When you're playing the Cubs, I cubs i'm watching it and like they're just like look you did another home run it would have been a great day in barstool history that home run derby whether i wondered or not it would have been it would have been an electric hour for you guys yeah we were ready for a live i know i feel so bad about that like that was a big part of the disappointment and not doing that derby which i don't think a lot of people knew i was just like yeah i wanted obviously want to do the home run derby because it'd be cool to compete in it but i think just that moment is just like you just can't replicate you know what's on the line there and if i remember correctly i think you texted me like a week before being like i think i hurt my back and i was like he's fucking with us yeah he's fucking it was a few days before because uh yeah i was hitting and playing and like i uh i had some back stuff i feel like i've hopefully gotten a handle on that the last the last two years but when it kind of when it goes like you just know like oh shit like the next next 10 days the two weeks like i'm i'm fucked yeah and i actually played in that i played in the game like the next day but i was still like not not feeling very good. I played two innings and left just because I was starting the game.

I was getting a hit leadoff.

You're probably never going to get a leadoff in an All-Star game ever again in your life

because you have to be the visiting team.

You have to be a starter.

You have to be the leadoff hitter.

So I wanted to do that, start an All-Star game and do that.

So I was like, I'm going to go out there.

Verlander's starting the game for the American League, and I get a leadoff for the National League. So it's something that's really cool.
I probably shouldn't have been out there even for the game. Did you strike out? I think I got jammed super bad in a soft line drive to the first baseman, which is fine.
Yeah, contact. And then the next at bat, I didn't swing and struck out, and then I was out of the game and then just went home.
Yeah, Major major league baseball is probably pretty happy that you didn't compete because then they would have had to answer so many questions about like why is christian yelich like blowing up online yeah why is it trending why is yeah why is this a week straight yeah a big sideshow yeah it would have been it would have been bad for baseball bad for the game i know publicity it'd be good for the game it would draw a lot of eyes so maybe not

necessarily you know the topic that's being discussed maybe they wouldn't be too proud of but any buzz is good buzz i guess yeah it'd reach a large audience yeah can you settle a debate for us because we've been going back and forth back and forth since the world series on this one uh if a team gets no hit but it's a combination no hitter did they still is that a did they get no hit. I feel like you don't feel as bad if you're on the other team.
You're just like, I guess it just wasn't our day. We didn't get any hits today.
But if it's one guy that no-hits you, I think you're just a little more pissed off if you're on the other team when one guy no-hits you as opposed to a combined no-hitter. But any time you lose a World Series game, whether you got no hit or you scored 10 runs and lost by one, like you're still going to be a loss.
A loss is a loss. But it is a no hitter because they got no hits.
Yeah. I mean, you're going to be in history.
You're going to be in the history books. As a no hitter.
As a no hitter. Yeah.
Okay. We just want to clarify for Max.
Max is a Phillies fan and he just adamantly is like, it wasn't a no hitter. It's like, well, did you get any hits? He's like, no.
He's still doing it. He's still trying.
I don't know if I've been on a few teams that have been no-hit. I don't think we've ever had a – I don't know if anybody's combined no-hitter does.
When it's happening, are you guys in the dugout? You feel it coming. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like once the sixth inning rolls around, seventh inning rolls around, you're just like,

hey, somebody should probably get hit right here.

We're going to need somebody to get a hit.

It doesn't even matter if we lose.

It's just like, hey, somebody get fucking hit, please.

I don't care who it is.

Back in the day, it could be the pitcher.

We don't care.

But you feel it coming, especially if the guy's on a roll.

If you've seen the guy a few times and you're like,

oh, yeah, this guy's got pretty good shit today.

Yeah.

We might be a trouble yeah are you in favor of bouncing to break up a no-hitter no i mean if it's if it's like the first couple innings still like maybe if it's like a zero zero one nothing game but if it's like seven seventh eighth inning i don't know maybe like in the world series though that that's a that's a topic yeah if it's one nothing in the world series like i feel like you kind of have to in like a world series playoff game yeah i'd say even if it's the ninth inning in the world series if it's a one nothing or two nothing game yeah it's the world series that you got it's when it's like 10 nothing and a guy's bunting right what are you doing right then it's like hey man like you gotta add a respect to the other guy like that you're competing against in the major leagues like hey get like get a real hit yeah not that a bun's not a real hit but in that situation yeah so off that what's your favorite unwritten rule of baseball unwritten rule of baseball i feel like a lot of them are gone now yeah most of them i mean that one's still or that one's still around for sure my favorite is just if you if if the team drills your best player you got to drill the other guys the other team's best player yeah i mean what what's kind of behind that is like if you are the other team's best player and you see the other team just getting smoked all the time when you go up to the plate like it is still in the back of your head sometimes you're like yeah like shit i could be eating one right here yeah like the first pitch of the at bat you kind of like sometimes you just kind of feel it out like all right like let's see where this goes yeah right like the guy throws it close to the zone or the strike like okay i guess i'm not getting hit right here or there are times where it's like it goes behind you you know 97 miles an hour so then. So then the next pitch, you're like, oh, shit.
Yeah. Here we go.
It would be nice if they just like when they do that, just not throw it that fast. Just kind of lob it up and just let it just take it.
The gentleman's going to gentleman's. And it's never the guy like if that ever does happen, it's like never the guy that's throwing like 90.
Yeah. It's always the guy that's throwing 100 miles an hour, 98 miles an hour.
And just like damn that's gonna hurt is it gonna suck is it it sucks it it has to really suck yeah and then you gotta like pretend like it doesn't suck yeah but the whole the whole down down the first base you're just like fuck fuck fuck fuck i can't i can't feel my arm i can't feel my leg like something it's just this sucks yeah and uh you know you get the first base and like hey you're all right dude you're just like no i'm not all right yeah yeah i can't feel my entire arm right like oh man that sucks yeah yeah it sucks yeah or when it's like on accident i always like the happened to me one time um it was like a day game i think it was in cincinnati it was like a one of those like 11 30 or noon start times and i i think it was uh louise castillo was was starting for the reds and i was i think i might have been leading off for the brewers that time at that time and uh it was like hey guys happy fourth of july how's it you guys have a good one you know it's gonna be a hot one today um you know talk to the catcher the umpire like everybody have a good game and it's like all right cool cool it's like first pitch was like 98 off the uh off the ankle oh i was like god this sucks it's like he's like my bad like no shit yeah we play together in miami a little bit like he's an awesome guy like louise is louise is a great dude but uh it's just a really tough day way to start your noon game you know after after a night game day game noon game fourth of July 100 degrees in Cincinnati just 98 off the ankle to start the to start the day that's tough it's not gonna be our day I don't think yeah uh this isn't so much a question as it is just a topic for you to elaborate on and expound on. Do you remember the 2019 postseason? Yeah, it was quick.
Yeah, what happened? What happened there? I was watching that one from the bench, and it didn't go the Brewer's way there. Yeah.
You guys had a one-game playoff against who was it? I can't remember. I'm not entirely sure.
I don't know who we were playing. That's always the Nationals, right? No, I don't know.
I don't know if it was the Nationals. You guys crushed you that game, right? It was a blowout.
Yeah. No, it wasn't a blowout.
No, you guys were up. You guys were up late, right? Potentially.
That might have been something that might have been like a four-out window there that changed like baseball. Changed baseball history.
Changed baseball history. Yeah.
I can't remember entirely who we were playing, but that was a tough night. Yeah.
Are you like us as fans and you go back? I'll look at the roster from that 2019 Washington Nationals team, and I'll just look ahead and just fantasize and be like, damn, that was a good team. It was a really, really good team.
Yeah. What do you think is the best team that's ever been assembled oh i mean some of like the recent dodger teams probably could have uh given anybody a run for their money you know like you know they won in 2020 but um i think some of the ones they had like 21 22 were like really really talented um anytime a team wins over like 105 it's like it's so hard to do.
You have to be so good, like top to bottom to win 100 games plus. I think some of those Yankees teams from back in the day were just really, really, really good.
Everyone always likes to say like 98 Yankees is the best team. Yeah.
But I remember us, like we played that Nationals team in the regular season. Like this is a really, really talented team.
Like they, they get in the postseason. Like, this is going to be a problem.
And, like, that's – when you're playing really good teams like that, you want to play them in, like, a one-game playoff. Anything can happen in a game.
Like, you can beat anybody. The worst team in baseball could beat the best team in baseball in one game.
Right. Yeah, that one sucks, dude.
Like, any time you lose in the playoffs, especially like that, because both clubhouses are, like, prepped for, like, all the champagne stuff. Yeah.
So stuff yeah so like when you lose those games because we've been in we've lost game seven we lost that wild card so when you lose those games like all the celebration shit's just like laying there and you just like you just like walk right by it into like a silent locker room just like everybody's just super bummed out because your season's over and like anything can happen in the postseason like you have a chance to win a world series so that's brutal it's a it's a depressing atmosphere after those games especially like that like it happened so quick like that was the bottom of the eighth inning yeah we lost three outs happened in like the next five minutes and like the game was over and we went from like winning to five minutes later like season's over that was awesome um all right ahead. I was just going to say, is it possible to drink a sad bottle of champagne? I haven't seen it done.
You're walking to the clubhouse and there's booze there. You're upset.
You just go like calmly. No, they take it all out and they bring it to the other side.
Oh, really? There's nothing even sitting there. But what's sitting there is like the T-shirt and like the goggles.
Like that you see everything in the hat, like everybody's in. So like when you win those games and you do like the the champagne thing like usually um like the guys that run the clubhouse are sitting there they have like all the stuff lined up you give them like the game hat and like you put your your cleats in like a like sections and then they hand you like all the celebration stuff so you put all that on whoever's doing like the on-field interviews, like they wrap that up.
The manager gives a speech.

And then that's when you see like on TV,

everybody like popping the champagne.

So when you lose all that stuff still laying there,

you just walk right by it.

There's no champagne because they took it to the other locker room because

they're going to be the ones that need it.

Damn.

That's brutal.

All right.

So I have one last question.

It's a rowback question.

R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

Use promo code take 20% off joggers, Q-Zips-zips polos everything hoodies uh the best stuff out there without naming names what position group is the biggest group of psychos in baseball oh um that's a good i think there's different tiers of it so like all your position players the guys that play like every day they're like their own brand of psycho okay you have the the relievers those guys are pretty crazy actually because they'll like it'll be like 10 30 at night and they're like slamming a red bull with p4 and a five-hour energy to go close at the game like you're not going to sleep till like 6 a.m. if you do that yeah so those guys are coming in i've seen guys that take like the red hot stuff you guys ever had that like put on like your body feels like it's on fire like i play with a guy that used to put that up his nose in the in the bullpen before he came in the game and he threw like 100 miles an hour like that's badass that guy's on our side yeah um and then yeah you just have like starting pitchers all kind of have their quirks.
Like I think just being in the game of baseball, you're kind of like your own brand of psycho. I always thought it would be catchers.
I mean like it feels like they're crazy. Like goalies are psycho in hockey and catchers feel the same way where it's like who would want to crouch for three hours every day.
Just stopping like projectiles. Yeah.
Right. Getting hit with bats and foul tips and all kinds of things like yeah i'm like you guys are crazy i wouldn't want to do that yeah like you go out and you could go multiple innings in a row where you just never see the ball i've gone whole games where like i didn't do anything besides stand out there there's like one or two of them a year where uh are those fun kind of yeah we had one game i think we had a game with the brewers last year where there was not one outfielder that caught a fly ball holy shit it's all ground balls and strikeouts that's so fun i would love you're just you're just sitting out there like you went and just like hung out on left field for an entire make sure the game like yeah anybody in the stands could have done did what you did that day in left field like you're also like repositioning yourself depending on who's at bat so you're like you're walking around yeah you're well you have like a card that tells you like where to stand so like before every game they give you like a whatever team starting lineup is like they have like the analytics card that they give to you yeah so depending on if it's like a right-handed or left-handed pitcher it tells you like basically where you're supposed to stand so you just walk to where it says you stand there back the next batter you walk to where that tells you so you're just kind of like we just went for a walk for fun day at the ballpark yeah great day yeah looked around took a couple at bats hung out took in the scene and went home yeah oh i i have one last last question the uh slide that you have yeah in milwaukee like two reporters broke ribs and and wrists and legs people get hurt on that every year why is that so why why does it go down you do go down fast i guess burnt bernie obviously goes down all the time i've only been down at one i went down at one time actually last year and you come off that thing hot i didn't think you did there's like a whole there's like a whole pad set up at the bottom of it and you're just like it looks like a normal regular like little slide and you're you're hauling ass down that thing and so i asked our trainer he's like yeah i do that every every year i got like two or three calls from like the other side where they have somebody that needs to go to the x-ray room from from the slide and uh yeah it was a dodgers reporter he like broke his uh broke his wrist and hand in a bunch of different places all time pretty pretty he did the game with the uh with the cast yeah still played that he still played the game he did he did um.
Well, Christian, this has been awesome. Great catching up, man.
And I'm not going to say best of luck because you're in the Cubs division. But, you know.
Opening day, we play those guys. In Chicago or Milwaukee? In Chicago.
Oh, really? Yeah, so I'll get booed. Yeah, and it will be like.
Just have to wear it for three hours out there. Yeah.
And people, you know, don't say mean things to Christian. Wink.
Wink. They won't listen to you, I promise.
Yeah, yeah. No, no.
Don't be mean to them know don't say mean things to christian wink wink uh they won't listen to you i promise yeah no no don't don't be mean to them don't say mean things to them don't tell them say hey i saw you on that porno when you were eating that ass don't do any of that don't they would never do such a thing out there especially in the bleachers on opening day no no no such thing please don't all right man got it. Always a pleasure, guys.
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Okay, time to wrap up. I've had a bad sports weekend, and someone offered up the thought, what if Hank gets the lottery ball? And I was like, don't ever say that.
Good news, though. It's not going to happen.
It's never going to happen. Also, the conspiracy theorists out there who was like, I saw one person said, if hank ever gets it they're just going to delete the tapes because it's good for content hank would actually murder us like he would kill us you would you would quit the show yeah you guys i could delete tapes billy can delete tapes you guys wouldn't even know i don't know how to delete he's an expert i do not know how to do uh if hank if you if you get it right then i mean what people don don't realize is that Hank's life has become a never-ending series of people coming up to him and whispering numbers into his ear.

Because Hank is very, very much looking forward to turning the page on this.

All right, so let's do it.

It's never going to happen.

Have you ever gotten it?

Let's get out of the way.

Have you ever gotten it?

No.

Yeah, it's never going to happen.

I'm going to go 99.

I haven't said numbers yet.

That's a false start.

That's a false start. That's a false start.
So what does that mean? That means you have to wait now to pick last. I'm last, okay.
Number 69. Who had it? Check the tapes.
I'll give it to you. Billy, do you have any comment about last week when you told everybody check the tapes and I clearly beat you on the tapes? You also were saying that when you were losing beer competitions.
It's also where we're videoed and you can see that you've lost. Well, the thing is when you're chugging the beer, you can't see when the other person finishes.
Right, so when you finish, you're like, no way I lost that. Well, the thing is the first night the heavy hitters showed out and then I was getting caught with some IPAs which just aren't fun to chug.
I'm not chugging IPAs. Wait, fact check.
Fact check, Jake. Billy tried getting a beer snake onto the broadcast when I was calling it.
It was unsuccessful. It was successful.
It just went down really badly. Ah.
We couldn't try it again. Sounds like it was unsuccessful.
It got into the video camera, and then it just went coming crashed down on all the people around us and it was just really bad vibes from some parents all right so you have you have 69 um hank let's go 99 i'll go 17 bitch 18 remember three is out and i think 45 out. My son picks 6.
4. 45 might come back in.
I'm going to go 55. Oh, man.
I'm actually rooting for 20 to be a kid. Because Max being an almost winner would be just so fucking funny.
Wow. He needs the money, too.
He does. Did he pay you? Well, let's just say Max paid me half and i was like oh great he's just you know venmo restrictions you gotta pay me the other half tomorrow we're on like day six of tomorrow he's been on vacation though he has you feel i won today on the road at colorado yeah so that price is going down ucla it so when i put my future in, it was plus $1,400.
Now they're down to plus $1,200. Yeah.
And they're going to be a one seed probably, right? They're in good shape, yeah. I like UCLA.
I'm going to have UCLA. I have Tennessee, UConn, and then I'm going to have a mystery team that it is your team if you're listening right now, but you don't know what team it is.
But it is your team. Yeah, you.
I'm talking to you right now. J.M.U.
No, no, no. It's your team.
The people who are listening right now, but you don't know what team it is. But it is your team.

Yeah, you.

I'm talking to you right now.

Speak with JMU.

No, no, no. It's your team.

The people who are listening right now,

yeah, I bet on your team.

Nice.

So I'm rooting for your team,

but it's a mystery team.

18-18.

You've never gotten this?

This would be an all-time fuck-up PFT

if you false started and you got it.

I know.

I would take credit for it. Oh, 55 like 3k oh man, oh no, it's crazy.
Is that? No, that dollar bills been there for three weeks. That's not his dollar bill.
That cost is being paid. No, that $20 has been there for three weeks.
I know because I thought it was one of your guys. I didn't take it.
You know what's wild is that I said 99 and then I called started and then Hank was like, ooh, I'm going to take his number. So thank you, Hank.
Thanks for the assist. Also, I'm pretty sure Hank said it's been a trend of double numbers.

How much money is in here?

There has to be so much money in here.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

PFT.

I don't even know if that's accurate.

So much money.

Third time.

That's probably like four grand in here.

Oh.

Good for you.

Hank.

Thanks, Jake.

Hank, you could have.

If you had just not taken PFT's number, it could have been you. You know what? Here.
Let me see that money. I don't have the key.
Oh, who's got the key? I think Memes does. We might not ever be seeing that money, I feel like.
No, we're going to get it out. Oh, no.
Memes, remember I gave you the key? Memes got the key. Damn, Hank.
That was so close, except not really. What was your other pick going to be? 55? Are you going to put it on JMU? Were you going to pick 55? I might Yeah, I think he was going to pick 55 I'm going to be 17 You know what? Jake, since you were the first to congratulate me And you were very sincere about it I want you to have this money that was outside of the state Oh, that's nice So here you go, Jake That's nice Zero win What is that? Congratulations, P.T.
We have a We have a champagne. Now Hank has to put more money in here, right?

A little veuve Clicquot?

So you owe more money in here, Hank?

Oh, no, you have to double it, right?

I don't want to take it.

It's your winnings.

Jake, don't double sportsmanship.

Yeah, I have to double it.

Jake, take it.

You have to double what's ever in here?

No, just take it and give it.

If you don't want it.

Don't give it to Billy.

Do not give it to him.

There you go, Jake.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Jake.

You don't want it.

Should I pop this right now?

Hank, can you open this up for me? Billy, Jake, you don't want it. Convert your eyes, Billy.
This is so much cash. Oh, my God.
It's the blue. It's so much cash.
It's the blue cash. I'm going to count you out like I'm a bank teller.
Wow. That's the blue cash.
Yeah, wow. This sucks.
How many seconds of the episode is that in payment? One, two, three, four, five, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. That's $1,000.
Wow. If there's insufficient funds, we just do the math.
How many weeks times how many people, right? 13, 14, 15, 16. I don't need to nickel and dime you guys.
I've won it before. It's not that big of a deal for me.
Wow. 17.
Hank? 18. 18 grand.
Wait, watch out. 18 grand in there.
$18,000? Yeah. Wow.
Wow. I'm happy for you, BFT.
Thanks. You deserve this.
Thanks, Big Cat. You just said you needed to win something.
All your teams stink. That's true.
Look at that. This almost makes me whole for the doink, almost.
Yeah. There you go.
And Hank? You have to double that? Or where does that work? Are you going to put it in here? Do you put it in here? What do you do? PFT's money. So you're going to pay me $1,800? Mm-hmm.
Wow. Oh! Congratulations, PFT.
What a moment. The rich get richer.
Oh, true, where, where were you? Oh, it tastes so good. Pass this to Hank.
That's great. You want a sip? You want a quick sip? Hank's doing the thing where he's watching like Stefan Diggs.
I'm also glad you drank champagne after a victory. Oh, man.
Learning a lesson from Max's. Billy, this does mean we all have to put $20 more into this.
Right now? Yeah. Have some champagne.
Why not? I think the tradition should be all the winners get to celebrate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've won. Everyone who's gotten it should be drinking champagne right now.
Jake, take a swig real quick. What time does the club close now jake pass it to hank because you've won it right no me oh no but memes the only guess is like memes guess like four times memes has won it right no he hasn't oh should i should i call maxoma yeah yeah yeah oh yeah matt yeah i'll call yeah call him give a virtual i'll call other Max too.
Here, if you want to give them a virtual. Yeah, let's call both Max's.
Champagne. This is fucking great.
Or let's call the bar he's at and order him a glass of champagne. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I'm gonna tell Max that Hank won it. And then he'd be like, no fucking way.
This is so much fun. Hey! What we got hank hank won the lottery ball no he didn't yeah no he didn't pft did though so we're drinking champagne yeah so so we we had everyone in the in the studio who's won it gets to drink champagne so i wanted to call you because you would be drinking champagne with us i may need to i may need to get a glass of champagne yeah you should yeah send it to the group text send us a picture of you drinking champagne as a lottery ball winner okay all right awesome all right see ya oh man that's great great crazy take but coars light tastes way better than champagne that's's not that crazy.
Coors Light's the best beer ever. Let's see if he's going to pick up.
He's probably on the West Coast, right? Yeah. Make sure he drinks some champagne, too.
And anyone at home who's won it, please raise a glass of champagne. Hey, Max, what's up? What's up, dude? Hey, I wanted to let you know that I got the lottery ball correct.
Yeah! That's how I got my take tonight. Yeah, and so we're passing around champagne.
Everyone that's gotten it is taking a sip of champagne, so I wanted to let you know that as a past winner of the lottery ball, you should have a glass of champagne. Drink some champagne, Max.
Drink some champagne. Look, we got champagne.
Wait, can I get a look at Hank not getting any champagne? Yeah, no, he didn't get to drink any champagne. He didn't get to drink any champagne.

Oh, wait, Max, Max, Max, you know what the best part is?

PFT went off sides on the picks, so you can't say your number until I say numbers.

So he said it too early.

He said 99, and then Hank decided to take PFT's number,

so PFT went to a secondary number, that number one.

Oh, brutal. How sweet it is.
I got that live money Max Oh yes Great Alright have some champagne Hey you're the best PFT Hank you stink Alright love you Max And that's coming from a loser Max is a loser He choked in the genesis yeah he fucking did yeah no yeah now you agree with me stop it stop it no max is good he's good people um hank any comments about what is taking place here i was actually texting max uh on friday and was like you don't actually consider that a win right and he was he said no he said if you know if your friends asked me, I'd say yes. If my friends asked me, I'd say no.
And then we were talking about how I told them I just need to win it and win the money. Oh, but I won the money.
And that didn't happen. You didn't win the money.
Memes, can we make sure we get another bottle of champagne for whoever wins it next? Because it will happen again. It won't be Hank.
This cash smells fantastic. Yeah, shout out to Eli Manning.
If you guys... You can buy me the Arizona merch you never bought me.
Oh. Now we're getting in the bed off.
I asked you if you wanted me to buy you the merch, and you said forget about it. Oh.
No, no. We walked past the store in the airport, and you were like, you want it here? I was like, no.
We got to stand on. If you guys wanted to air the home interview before that episode, it would have come naturally.

Yeah, right.

It did come naturally.

It counts.

Either way, give Hank a little sip of champagne.

Come on. Give him some champagne.

Give him some champagne.

Here's $100, Hank.

I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Take a little sip.

Hank, you want $100?

I'm sober.

It's good.

I'm 24 hours sober.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Come on.

This is fucked up.

All right, so we could keep this show going for 24 more hours.

You want $100? Take it. There you go.
Take it. There you go.
Oh, wow. You actually gave it.
Yeah, there's $100. I'll be needing that $1,800 back from you, though.
PFT? I actually... Yeah.
Big Cat, you want $100? Yeah. Billy, you know what? You have my $100.
There you go. Psych! Scout's honor, I owe you $40.

Thank you, Billy.

Take that $100.

Memes, you want $100?

Yeah, get memes $200.

200.

I'll match memes.

Yeah, 200.

Here's 200 memes.

Oh, man, this is fun.

This is Christmas.

Okay.

Yeah.

What an ending to the show. That was great.
I just want to see what the next Paul B.. This is Christmas.
Okay. Yeah.
Wow. What an ending to the show.

That was great.

I just want to see what the next part will be.

It doesn't count.

Okay.

I just want to see.

I want to see.

Wait, do we have any cheesesteaks left?

I hope it's 99.

Imagine if it was 99.

Imagine if it was 99.

Oh, 99.

Wait, what is that?

It gets so dead inside. it's 80 Oh man you're such a loser I love this show You'll never get it I'm so happy this is the only win I've had all weekend Is just watching you lose God damn it does it feel good We can have our graphics guy Shane make a banner for how many times i i'm four you guys i think i think that's three for me you're one or two two and i had that one where i went back to back but that was on short porch was official part of my take yeah that was what are you five yeah hank imagine that i didn't even try to get two in a row.
The max is one. Like a mad Angus.

And you haven't even gotten one. Officially?

No, but listen.

All right, yeah, no.

Oh, okay, but you haven't even gotten one practice.

I see you.

Every morning I come in, a little behind the scenes.

I get in around 830.

Hank is in here just pressing the lottery ball machine, guessing numbers.

And he still hasn't gotten it.

The guy's practicing, and he still hasn't gotten it.

All right. What a fun show.

Nothing matters.

No, nothing matters.

I don't care anymore.

This is stupid.

Love you guys.

All woolly mammoths have won the lottery ball

of this machine the same amount as Hank.

I actually had that plan.

It's written down on my notes.

That was planned.

That's a fact.

I'm coming for your love again. I've been coming for your love again.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me.

Take me. Take me.