Big Announcement With Mark Titus, College Bball Preview, Lamar Fan Fiction + Guys On Chicks

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 we have our college basketball preview with Mark Titus and a big, huge announcement with him. Go subscribe to his new show, Mark Titus Show, on YouTube and podcasts.

Speaker 1 And you can find it on social as well. Awesome.
Time having him in studio. Also, part two will be on his YouTube on Thursday.

Speaker 1 We're going to do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, Guys on Chicks. We're officially in that no man's land between Super Bowl and the Combine and March Madness.

Speaker 2 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Boy!

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then a lot of work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electricity.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, February 22nd,

Speaker 1 and it's just four of us in the studio, boys. It feels a little empty.

Speaker 3 Feels a little thin in here.

Speaker 1 It feels a little empty. Jake and Billy are down in the DMV getting drunk, calling ESPN plus PLL games.

Speaker 3 What if Jake just went to the beer pong thing and then Billy showed up to call the games? That would be

Speaker 3 great, freaky Friday.

Speaker 3 There was a great post that Billy had when he was down. I'm going to look it up right now.

Speaker 3 He showed up to the lacrosse camp today and he's down on field level.

Speaker 3 And I don't know if Billy wrote this or if it was a copy and paste job, but he said, talking about the new rules format for the Premier Lacrosse Championship Series with Paul Rabel, how it impacts players and on-field product.

Speaker 3 Oh, I think Billy's turned to a big J.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 1 That's one of those prompts.

Speaker 1 What would be the tweet if you got kidnapped? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's Billy's treat right there.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's a big show because we have a big announcement with our friend Mark Titus coming up. We're going to do a college basketball preview with him.

Speaker 1 Very excited about the future with Mark Titus. Mark Titus, I shouldn't ruin it all.
No. It's going to be awesome.
So get excited. We're in college basketball zone.

Speaker 3 What else? I mean, it's franchise tag season.

Speaker 1 It's franchise tag season.

Speaker 3 The tag season is officially open right now.

Speaker 1 Nathan Peterman did not get tagged.

Speaker 3 Okay, breaking news. Yep.

Speaker 3 The QB tag, I think, is, what, 34 million, something around there? Yeah, sure. Ish.
Daniel Jones fired his agent, getting a new agent. So now they're speculating what that could be.
No,

Speaker 1 not her.

Speaker 3 But I think it means that he doesn't want to get tagged and that he wants mega bucks.

Speaker 3 I heard the mega bucks number got thrown around the other day, that it's speculating that he might want upwards of like 45 million a year.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 I do too, for the record.

Speaker 3 I would like $45 million a year. And then Derek Carr is taking his free agency tour.
Yes. Per David Carr, his brother, who's he might be his agent.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 David said that Derek's going to enjoy this tour. He's going to go around, get wine, and dined, make sure he finds a place that really wants him.

Speaker 1 I actually had a source. Shout out Mikey Betts.
He sent me a picture of Derek Carr at dinner with Robert Salah and Nathaniel Hackett. And I saw the picture and that was also on Twitter.

Speaker 1 It was on Twitter. Well, he sent it to me first, so I'm going to credit him.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Nathaniel Hackett's face, I'm sorry, but like he's got to.

Speaker 1 Something's going to have to happen for him for me to just wash off that stink. Because I saw him and I was like, there's a Broncos guy who didn't know how to use timeouts.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's perfect. It's a great opportunity for him to change your look.
Yeah. He's got to grow a beard.

Speaker 1 He's got to get some tats. Correcting tats.
Oh, he'd look like a biker. Yeah.
He's got to maybe add, he's got to maybe change his name, too. Maybe be Nate

Speaker 1 Hakovich or something because he's from Serbia. I don't know.
Like, that's, I would be in on that.

Speaker 3 I think that Derek Carr should take his time on this because he's been through a lot in Las Vegas and he needs to find a place where he feels welcome.

Speaker 3 I feel like I'm left out, though, because I'm getting all my Derek Carr news via David Carr because he blocks me on Twitter.

Speaker 3 Derek Carr is the new Big Ben. He blocks everybody on Twitter, apparently.

Speaker 4 I thought you said he has herpes.

Speaker 3 You did say he has herpes. Did I say that? Yeah, you said he has herpes.

Speaker 1 Remember we found that out when we last talked about this?

Speaker 3 I hope he doesn't have Michael Rappaport's lawyer.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, no, I hope he does.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Eat him for lunch.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 3 I've got some fan fiction that I've been working on. Hank, with your permission, my internet dad and I, Mike Florio, are kind of collabing on this one.
Great.

Speaker 3 So there's been, you know, we've seen all the Photoshops that are floating out all over the internet of Lamar Jackson in a commander's uniform. It's been hot talk for a while.
That kind of similar.

Speaker 4 Sounds like an erotic one.

Speaker 3 Yeah, okay, so it went away for a little bit, okay? Yeah, I was just, I was engaging myself.

Speaker 3 I was entertaining myself to keep myself in a good mood, thinking, okay, next year might not just be a total wash. Florio put out an interesting take, and I'm going to build on it.

Speaker 3 Florio said he pulled a

Speaker 3 he pulled a wind horse. He goes, why would Eric Bienami go to Washington, D.C.? Why would he leave Pat Mahomes and

Speaker 3 the opportunity to win multiple more Super Bowls, coaching maybe the greatest quarterback of all time

Speaker 3 in the history of the NFL to go to Washington, D.C., where they're going into next year with a starting quarterback Sam Howell, who started precisely one game?

Speaker 3 Now, he did beat Hank's Cowboys, but he started one game, and there's a big, uncertain future there in D.C.

Speaker 3 Why would he do something like that?

Speaker 3 Well, I'll tell you why. There might be a little deal behind the scenes with Ron Rivera telling Biennome,

Speaker 3 Lamar gets franchise tag. If it's non-exclusive,

Speaker 3 we're going to get Lamar. Now, okay, people are going to point at Dan Snyder.
Dan Snyder is going to sell the team. What's going to happen in this offseason?

Speaker 3 Is he in a position where he's going to be able to give up all these assets?

Speaker 3 I would say that Dan Snyder, out of spite, just to fuck over the next owner, would love nothing more than to give those two first-round picks away.

Speaker 3 And on top of that, throw in a shitload of guaranteed money in a contract extension for Lamar Jackson,

Speaker 3 which would not only maybe fuck over the future owner, depending on how Lamar plays, but also in the big fuck you, he would fuck over the rest of the owners in the NFL that don't want these guaranteed contracts to go to players.

Speaker 3 They got pissed off when Deshaun Jackson or Deshaun Watson got his.

Speaker 3 It would be a fuck you to those guys while also opening the door. for everybody to be like, thank you, Dan Snyder.

Speaker 3 If it pays off in the future, like, look what Dan did for the team on the the way out. This is the perfect exit.

Speaker 1 This is the perfect exit.

Speaker 1 Hank has gone to his phone.

Speaker 1 I'm listening. I'm tuned in.
I'm tuned in.

Speaker 1 Spot the flaw. I'm tuned in.
I don't see any flaws.

Speaker 1 I don't think Robert. Wait, wait, play it back.
What'd he say? Dan Snyder.

Speaker 4 Once you got a Dan Snyder being spiteful.

Speaker 1 That is usually a point where you're like,

Speaker 1 he's not going to do that. He's just going to leave.

Speaker 3 You don't think that Dan Snyder would love to stick it up the rest of the owner's ass?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, he would. By giving me a picture of the reaction.
How do you think your buddy Jerry Jones

Speaker 1 got released?

Speaker 3 By giving him... How do you think John Gruden's emails got released? The man is...
Some of them. He is spiteful.
Yeah, one bad email got...

Speaker 3 The man is spite

Speaker 1 as a person.

Speaker 3 If you were to draw, if you look up spite in the dictionary, you'd see, first of all, a picture of Hank looking grumpy, and then next to it, Dan Snyder right behind him with his hand on his shoulder.

Speaker 3 He literally is

Speaker 1 an owner with a suicide vest right now.

Speaker 3 Yes, and by giving Lamar Jackson huge guaranteed money, fully guaranteeing the contract, that would piss off the rest of the owners that just spent the last two years trying to get Dan Snyder out of the NFL.

Speaker 1 Facts. Factor, fact.

Speaker 4 But you're talking about a guy who notoriously never spends money on anything.

Speaker 1 Hank,

Speaker 3 are you fucking shitting me? Albert Hainsworth, Deion Sanders, Jeff George.

Speaker 1 Should he go on?

Speaker 1 The man loves stadium renovation. Don't make him go on.
Carson Wentz?

Speaker 3 The man loves spending. You're confusing Dan Snyder with the owner of the Bengals.
Dan Snyder loves spending money on all the stupidest shit ever.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Zach Taylor, by the way, ultimate football guy. He said he'd have to be taken out in a casket from the Bengals.

Speaker 1 That was kind of cool.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 4 I think the Bienemi thing makes a little bit of sense.

Speaker 4 You had me there. Because

Speaker 1 it is suspect. to say the least that Eric Bienneme, I mean, I guess

Speaker 1 he is getting a bump because he's officially the offensive coordinator, and he was, you know, Andy Reid was calling a lot of the plays with the Chiefs, but still,

Speaker 1 it would be weird to take that job. He's gonna be like Sam Howell, he's in the perfect Sam Howell, the perfect scenario, right?

Speaker 3 For an offensive coordinator, and he's going to maybe the worst scenario as an offensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 Where does Lamar live?

Speaker 1 I was just about to say,

Speaker 3 but he lives in Maryland.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's got

Speaker 1 there. But I'm saying, is is his house close enough that he doesn't have to move? It might be.
Wow.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So what about that, Hank?

Speaker 4 That makes sense, too.

Speaker 3 When we got B enemy, I was thinking to myself, like, this must be what Pete Davidson feels like all the time.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 3 I have an ugly ass franchise, and now I've got the hottest thing on the block that's just moving into town.

Speaker 3 There's something weird going on. He interviewed 17 times.
That's true.

Speaker 1 The hottest thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, that's another thing. He interviewed 17 times for other opportunities, some including offensive coordinator opportunities, but yet he wants this one.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I would not want this one.

Speaker 4 Is Rivera on his way out?

Speaker 1 Is that like a probably because we're going to get a new owner, so he's probably going to be fired? Huh?

Speaker 1 Just connect some dots.

Speaker 3 Hey, just let me dream, man. Connect a few dots.
Let me have some optimism.

Speaker 1 These are the dots we got to connect.

Speaker 4 I hope Lamar Jackson's a Washington commander.

Speaker 1 We also should just.

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 That was mean what you just did.

Speaker 1 It is crazy that Lamar Jackson doesn't have an agent. Yeah.
It is crazy. I know, like, you can,

Speaker 1 I'm all for player empowerment, but I feel like he is probably losing out on opportunities without an agent.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And the stuff that the agents do behind the scenes, like, they can start to negotiate trades and things like that.

Speaker 1 He has no idea what team wants him. Yeah.
I mean, every team should want him, but, like,

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 1 He doesn't know. It's just crazy.
It just blows my mind.

Speaker 1 It's not a big enough story that Lamar Jackson is the first guy who is set to make insane amounts of money because you see it sometimes where guys won't have agents, but it will be a veteran who it's like, you know what you're going to make.

Speaker 1 It's not really. I think Bobby Wagner fired his agent.
It's like, well, Bobby Wagner has been in the league forever.

Speaker 3 I think Richard Sherman did that too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Richard Sherman, but he did it, I think, later on when he was like, all right, I know what I'm going to make. I'm slotted in.
Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 1 could be making the most amount of money a quarterback has ever made. Like that's on the table, and he doesn't have an agent.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's just saying, give me what Deshaun got, plus, like, five extra million dollars a year. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. So, yeah, I think all bets, like, there, you can't predict a guy who doesn't have an agent.

Speaker 3 You can't. Shit's going to get wild.
Shit's going to get wild. All I'm saying is, remember who told you this before it happened.
Remember who put out those fire folks in the middle? I'll remember.

Speaker 1 I'll remember. Hank will remember.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for UPFT. Thank you.
As someone who has a very exciting quarterback who sometimes gets called a running back,

Speaker 3 Join the party. I'd love to.
In exchange for that, I hope that Taylor Heineke signs with the Bears. Yeah.
I'll trade you Taylor Heineke this offseason if I get Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 1 Imagine if our football teams became good. Do you think people wouldn't like this show anymore? Hank would quit.

Speaker 1 I think there's a chance that people wouldn't like this show.

Speaker 3 I actually, I agree with that 100%.

Speaker 1 I think if the Bears and the Commanders were both... 13 and 4, people would be like, fuck these guys.

Speaker 3 Let's be real. If the Bears and the Commanders were the two best teams in the the NFL People just wouldn't like the NFL anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that too. That too.
But they would, I think there would be an element because part of the

Speaker 1 allure of this show is we can make fun of everyone because we can make fun of our own team the most, which we do.

Speaker 1 If that's gone, uh-oh. Like, I'm looking in Hank's eyes.

Speaker 4 He's scared right now.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 4 I hope you guys are successful. I always root for your success.
I'm not a hater.

Speaker 1 I'm a lover.

Speaker 4 You are a horter.

Speaker 1 You are a lover. Hank, the lover.
All right, so other order of business, because we have,

Speaker 1 we're in this weird spot where we're going to Indy next week, so we're going to get some new interviews there. We have a great interview coming up with Mark Titus.

Speaker 1 We're going to also do a Live full swing. Is that what it's called? Review maybe next week.
Our good friend. Not just Live.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah.
It's PGA and Live.

Speaker 1 Our good friend Brooks Cap Guy was texting him last night. He is down to come back on to talk about his episode, which PFT, you haven't watched yet, but when you do.

Speaker 3 I'm too focused on my own game right now.

Speaker 1 It was very funny. He was wearing a Barcelon Sports triggered sweatshirt for a full scene that I loved.
I just loved that so much. But yeah, Brooks will come back on the show.

Speaker 3 Say what you want about Brooks, but he doesn't have a media guy. No.
There's nobody that's around Brooks being like, hey, maybe change that sweatshirt.

Speaker 1 I just said triggered for an entire extended scene with his mom, and it was awesome. I just fucking love the guy.
But

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 the so we're going to do that next week as well.

Speaker 1 Other things we've got to talk about. Should we talk briefly about Alabama basketball? That was on my hot spot.
Okay, well, wait for it.

Speaker 1 So then the other order of business I had, Max, I tasked you with finding an NCAA basketball team that you wanted me to put a future on.

Speaker 1 You said save for the show because we had a car ride today and we didn't talk about it. So would you like to tell the AWLs what your decision is?

Speaker 1 We should say we've already decided half of it's going to go on Max Homa. Correct.
Half of it's going to go on Max Homa to win the Masters.

Speaker 5 That'll be great.

Speaker 1 Well, probably not because

Speaker 5 he'll blow it.

Speaker 1 No. He'll blow it.
I'm going all positive. No, that's all.
I'm all positive with Max.

Speaker 3 We have a good interview with Max coming out, and we talked through some of the positive vibe stuff.

Speaker 3 I'm just going 100% positivity with Max. Well, we can do good cop, bad cut.

Speaker 1 Well, I also,

Speaker 1 I had a self-reflection after Sunday Night's Show when I said he blew it. And I realized that the reason why I do that is just to get Jake's reaction.

Speaker 1 Because Jake always, like, Jake loves Max and he's the nicest guy in the world. So when I'm like, yeah, Max blew it, and Jake's like, oh, how could you say that? I'm pretty much just doing it.

Speaker 1 It's an audience of one.

Speaker 1 So I actually told Max, I was like, listen, it's nothing personal. I just want to see Jake squirm when I say that you blow the fucking Genesis open.
Yeah. Because he blew it.
He did. Choke artist.

Speaker 5 No, I think he blew it too.

Speaker 1 He's going to win the max mouse.

Speaker 5 I mean, he couldn't get out of that bunker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he couldn't. He couldn't get out of that bunker.
He couldn't get out of it.

Speaker 1 It It was over at that point. I could get out of that bunker.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what he was doing. He still par the hole.

Speaker 1 What? He parred that hole. He did.

Speaker 5 Max, lay it on us. My team.
Okay.

Speaker 5 I normally am a very big college basketball guy. Villanova is really bad this year, and it's one of those things.

Speaker 1 I'm not a big sports town? Huh?

Speaker 5 No, I watch every Villanova game, but it makes me so angry that I don't watch any other college basketball. Okay.

Speaker 5 Because watching good teams makes me angry because my team is normally very good, and right now they're really bad and really frustrating.

Speaker 5 That being said, I obviously got sent all of the Ken Pom stuff of like you have to have this team of

Speaker 5 this top 30 or whatever ranking, top 40 offense, top 22 teams.

Speaker 1 I got that.

Speaker 5 People sent me that a million times thinking that they're the only person who knows that stat.

Speaker 3 Thank you to everybody that tried to help Max.

Speaker 1 Thank you for all those people. That's a weird way of saying that.
So I've

Speaker 5 granted, granted, I am listening to those people because I am picking one of those teams.

Speaker 3 But you're mad about it. No, yeah.

Speaker 5 Whatever.

Speaker 5 I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 You're still in a rough patch. You're going on vacation in 20 hours.

Speaker 5 I am so excited to go on vacation.

Speaker 1 No one has deserved a vacation more than you. Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1 I want you to turn off your phone. Don't even worry about us.
We won't talk about you.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 5 So I'm going with the UCLA Bruins. Okay,

Speaker 3 I got a future on them, too. Yep.

Speaker 1 Let's Let's go.

Speaker 5 Mostly because Tiger Campbell and Jaime Jaquez are still on the teams. There's two guys that I know.
Tiger Campbell has really sick hair. Jaime Jake is very fun to say.

Speaker 3 And Mick Cronin, friend of the show.

Speaker 5 And Mick Cronin, friend of the show.

Speaker 1 So yeah, let's go Bruins. Let's go.

Speaker 1 I love rooting for Mick Cronin.

Speaker 3 The story behind him being like the fourth or fifth choice to go to UCLA and then going out there and be like, yeah, you know what? I know I wasn't the first choice.

Speaker 3 I'm still going to stick two middle fingers up the rest of the Pac-12's ass. I love it.
I love that he's done that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Let's go Bruins.

Speaker 5 Gray colors, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everything about them. Everything.

Speaker 5 Love UCLA.

Speaker 1 Does it make you a little nervous that I did have a future on them last year?

Speaker 5 No. Okay.
I mean, you got to. What about

Speaker 5 no, you were wrong about Villanova and then right about Vilanova.

Speaker 1 Never mind. Then I was right.
Yeah, yeah. Never mind.

Speaker 1 I also, in this car ride that Max and I took, there was a moment where I told him, I was like, a part of me wants to just put a stupid amount of money on the Eagles and be like, unfinished business.

Speaker 1 And just put them through torture again. I'm not going to do it.
I said that was a good thing. But a part of me wants to do that.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to. I'm not.
I don't believe you. I eventually.
But just be like, like, like a painful amount of money and just be like, unfinished business. You better fucking do it this time.

Speaker 3 I'm just curious now because so we're all invested in UCLA. We're a UCLA podcast.
Yeah, we are.

Speaker 3 What is Hank going to do? Because it's not going to be UCLA.

Speaker 1 Let's do a group bet. Yeah, I like UCLA.

Speaker 4 Let's fucking get in with Nick Cronin and I had a family friend that was a team manager on the Final Four team back in the day. Okay.

Speaker 4 He sent me a bunch of free shit when I was in high school, so I always wore it.

Speaker 1 Let's fucking go. I like UCLA.
Okay, UCLA. I go to college.

Speaker 4 I don't have a college team. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Duke. Well, no, I mean, northern New Hampshire or whatever.
Southern New Hampshire. Southern New Hampshire.

Speaker 3 Northern New Hampshire is just Canada.

Speaker 1 The penmen.

Speaker 1 All right. So, what else? Anything else before we do hot seat cool throne? There's not.

Speaker 4 Northern New Hampshire is Canada. It took a minute.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 geography.

Speaker 1 That's just a simple geography. Yes.
It wasn't even a joke. That was a statement.
Look at that map. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's right there.

Speaker 3 Sometimes it takes me a second. It's just touching it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is, I mean, NBA's in break. They shouldn't have this long of a break.
Come back and play.

Speaker 3 Yeah, come on, guys. Come on.

Speaker 1 Stephen A. Smith did say LeBron James ruined the dunk contest, which I liked.
How?

Speaker 3 By not participating. I like that.

Speaker 1 Ever. Well, that's true.

Speaker 3 How many times has the dunk contest been saved?

Speaker 3 It gets saved every three years.

Speaker 1 Aaron Gordon.

Speaker 4 Aaron Gordon. Ozach Levine.

Speaker 1 Dwight Howard saved it.

Speaker 3 Vince Carter saved it. Vince Carter.

Speaker 1 Isaiah Ryder saved it.

Speaker 3 Ryder saved it for

Speaker 1 in between the legs.

Speaker 1 Harold Jay saved it. Harold Minor.

Speaker 3 Harold Miner saved it. Junior.

Speaker 3 Oh, Birdman saved it.

Speaker 1 Birdman saved it.

Speaker 1 We said Nate Robinson, right? He definitely saved it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he saved it too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it has been saved a lot. Child Green.

Speaker 5 Now, Nate Robinson was bullshit. He should have lost Andre Godala and then.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, he missed like 30. takes.

Speaker 5 Well, he missed like 32 dunks in a row

Speaker 5 and then still won.

Speaker 5 That was the biggest NBA rig thing of all time.

Speaker 1 I remember

Speaker 5 as a little child, Andre Godala absolutely dominated that dunk contest, and Nate Robinson missed 32 dunks in a row and still won.

Speaker 3 Well, AI should have been dunking on like a 12-foot hoop to make it equal to what Nate Robinson was doing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 I like this. Like, what do we talk about in mid-February? How Nate Robinson shouldn't have won the dunk contest in whatever, 2008?

Speaker 3 is upset because a Philly guy finished in second place in a big event, sounds like to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's kind of your thing.

Speaker 5 Mac McClung just won.

Speaker 1 So that's true.

Speaker 5 I'm also seeing a lot of

Speaker 5 Sixers takes being like, Mac McClung should be getting more minutes.

Speaker 1 I like Mac McClung. I love his story, but when he does start getting minutes and teams just pick on him, it's going to be like, oh, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, one last thing about NBA. Did you guys see that they now have have

Speaker 1 player AIs, Luca's AI? So they unveil it. Adam Silver, Ahmad Rashad, who we should do a deep dive on Ahmad Rashad.

Speaker 1 Like, he has made, he has the greatest career ever just being like best friends with Michael Jordan.

Speaker 3 He's the Jim Gray of the NBA.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. I was like, Ahmad Rashad's still doing shit.
I did love watching Inside Stuff when I was a kid. That was the shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was awesome.

Speaker 1 It was just, it's like a Luca AI, and I guess they're doing it for players now. Essentially, I think the NBA is like member top shot.
Sorry about that. Yeah, let's try this instead.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And it was just a big Luca on a screen. It felt like Apple reveal or Elon Musk.
It was Luca talking to Luca.

Speaker 1 It was wild.

Speaker 3 That does sound wild.

Speaker 1 So I don't know what they're going to do with the Luca AI.

Speaker 3 I want to see, I want to see Jokic's brothers in AI. Yeah.
That's right. Or JaVail McGee AI would be.

Speaker 3 I don't think that we...

Speaker 3 I don't think that we have the level of programming necessary to figure out all those decision trees, but it would be fun.

Speaker 1 Yes. So, Luca AI, get ready for NBA AI.
Again, I don't know what they're going to do.

Speaker 3 Oh, big NBA news.

Speaker 1 Big cat. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Congratulations on getting Pat Bev.

Speaker 1 Pat Bev. Pat Bev.
Uh-oh. You had that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Pat Bev coming home to Chicago. It's going to be.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the Bulls are doing.

Speaker 3 It's going to be fun. They should tank.

Speaker 3 I kind of like the idea of if your team's not going to do anything, get an absolute wild card.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think.

Speaker 3 It's going to make the rest of the season fun.

Speaker 1 That part I'm all in on. I like watching Pat Bev compete.
But yeah, the Bulls should, like, they are, I think, in the 12th spot right now or something, and they stink.

Speaker 1 They have somehow found a way to be, like, you know how everyone shoots threes now? The Bulls are the worst three. I saw a stat.
It was like the last

Speaker 1 month. They're shooting 25% from three.
That's really hard to do in the NFL.

Speaker 3 That's tough. That's true.

Speaker 1 That's really fucking hard to to do.

Speaker 1 So they suck.

Speaker 1 They should tank, but I agree.

Speaker 1 Make the Bulls fun with PapEv. Yeah.
And Roan, Papev and Roan pod.

Speaker 3 Maybe the Bulls signed

Speaker 1 a deal, long-term deal, three years. You're looking for three years, 30 mil.
Make it happen. Do it.
Why not? Like, at least, if you're going to suck, be fun. Yep.
And be fun with PapEv.

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Speaker 3 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken, paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy monster cheese, are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Hot seat cool thrown. Hank.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Brandon Miller.

Speaker 1 Who's that?

Speaker 4 He's an Alabama basketball player. Oh, I know who that is.
He's a projected lottery round pick.

Speaker 1 Not anymore.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 he will still be a lottery pick.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't think it matters. It sounds like it's bad.

Speaker 1 No, it is bad.

Speaker 4 But he was involved in the fatal shooting in Alabama.

Speaker 1 I guess Aries PhD is right. He might go to jail.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't think I'm way out of bounds to say he might not get to jail.

Speaker 1 No, I was saying more that any team would be like he's talented, so who cares?

Speaker 4 Darius Miles committed murder. He's an Alabama basketball player.
He texted Brandon Miller the day of to bring him the gun that he used to commit the murder.

Speaker 1 Darius, sorry,

Speaker 4 Brandon Miller brought the gun to him, texted him and said, the heat is in the hat. And then texted him, there's one in the head, which means there's a bullet in the chamber.

Speaker 3 That's cat.

Speaker 4 So that all came out today.

Speaker 4 And then Nate Oates, his response to that, said, we knew about that. Can't control everything everybody does outside of practice.
Nobody knew that was going to happen. College kids are out.

Speaker 4 Brandon hasn't been in any type of trouble, nor is he in any type of trouble in this case. Wrong spot at the wrong time.

Speaker 3 You don't have to control everything that they do outside of practice, but maybe not. Committing murder would be one thing that you could focus on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and wrong spot in the wrong time feels

Speaker 1 like the wrong way to describe this situation.

Speaker 4 Right, it wasn't a coincidence.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's not great, I would say.

Speaker 4 No, I agree. Yeah.
But I don't, I'm not a legal guy, but I actually don't like, is he an accomplice in this situation?

Speaker 3 To hand somebody a loaded gun and say, yeah, here's that gun that you wanted. Yeah.
I think, yeah, this probably is.

Speaker 1 He's a gun, yeah, and it's a murder weapon. I think that might be a good thing.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 3 I don't know what the Alabama gun laws are. True.
Because some places, like in Texas, you can just give somebody a gun. Right.

Speaker 4 He didn't know he was going to commit a murder with it, allegedly.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure that it's illegal. I'm going to go out on a limb.
All of my two Second Amendment people out there might correct me.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure it's illegal to just give somebody a gun that ends up getting used in a murder.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's not good.

Speaker 1 It's at base level, not good.

Speaker 3 Wrong place, wrong time.

Speaker 1 Wrong place, wrong time. Can't control everything everybody does outside of practice.
Not everything.

Speaker 1 What a wild way to describe that. Need Oates.
It's pretty easy to be like, yeah, this is a really bad situation. We're looking into it.
Did he do that? No further comment.

Speaker 3 He pretty much said boys will be boys when it came to a murder.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Look.
College.

Speaker 1 College kids outside of practice.

Speaker 4 You remember college. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I do, yeah. Yeah.
Just handing guns around.

Speaker 1 Having them end up in murders.

Speaker 1 Again, no murders happened during Alabama practice. I bet you he told us that.
That's pretty much Natoat's defense. It's true.
He's like,

Speaker 1 as far as I saw while we were practicing, no one was shot and killed.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what do you want from me?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? This is a wild story. I mean, it is.

Speaker 3 It's a very sad story.

Speaker 1 It's a very sad story.

Speaker 3 Because I think it was like a single mother got shot.

Speaker 1 Incredibly sad and tragic. But it goes back to

Speaker 1 this goes to every single college coach. Whenever there's a bad situation, they are so quickly to pretend like they are ignorant to what their players are doing.

Speaker 1 Now, these are college coaches who, in football and basketball, are literally the kings of their little college town, and they know everything about everyone, and they know all the police, and they know what all their players are doing at all times, and they're by nature.

Speaker 1 To get to the level of being a Division I big conference college coach in football or basketball, you have to be a psycho micromanager, like down to every detail.

Speaker 3 and then a murder happens you're like well i don't fucking know yeah it's also it's crazy also if you were to ever participate in a murder probably the last thing that you would do would be to just text the person just here's the gun crazy crazy very very sad story but yeah nato it's not a great answer i would say agreed yeah

Speaker 1 uh we're ucla guys yeah yeah go bees yeah i might do a double bruin's future oh oh look at that i like that the year of the bruin be up bear up okay i'm at cool Throwing Chicago.

Speaker 4 We're moving there. Now the Super Bowl's over.
I'm very, I'm very much, you know, locked in, starting to look at places, getting excited.

Speaker 4 And then our coworker, Pat Beverly, who's beating us to the spot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Mark Titus, who we'll talk to in a minute.
Yeah. Yeah.
And we're going to get a boat. Multiple.
Multiple boats? Yeah, it's got a fleet. Do you want to get a fleet a bit?

Speaker 3 Dude, we're talking fleet now? I'm down. I wasn't down until he said fleet.
Imagine not having a fleet.

Speaker 1 Imagine rolling out onto the Lake Dolo, and then you see a fleet come up to you the playpen i heard a lot about that play yeah very fun time uh a lot of great golf there there's a lot a lot of great golf courses that are very quick to get to that are a lot easier than to get to in new york uh there's also one thing that uh about the move that i keep bringing up to max and he gets upset every single time i bring it up um we're as a podcast gonna run a 5k in the fall

Speaker 1 yeah and max gets upset every time i bring it up you just bring it up way too often well because i know how

Speaker 1 to so long so we're going to run the pause Chicago because I think, PFT, you might, I don't want to speak out of terms, but you might be thinking about adopting a dog at some point.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I am thinking about adopting a dog. And same with you, Hank? I'm already shopping for dogs.

Speaker 1 Are you actually a cat guy?

Speaker 4 No, I've been thinking about it, but I'm also like, I am very committed to golf, and I just don't, I don't want to, I don't want to get in the way of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. Maybe, I don't know.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's hard.

Speaker 4 A dog as a single parent is tough.

Speaker 1 It's a big commitment.

Speaker 4 Golf is also a big commitment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's some work commitments you you got there. I know.
You can

Speaker 1 bring the dog out onto the golf course.

Speaker 1 Talk about a full schedule. Dogs and golf.

Speaker 3 Dogs are not very vacation-friendly.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's dogs.

Speaker 4 Am I wrong? And vacation-you're right.

Speaker 1 You're right. Vacation, yeah.
But Paws Chicago.

Speaker 3 I've got a trip to the lot of your life now.

Speaker 1 Now that you mentioned it, Paws Chicago, where I adopted Stella, and

Speaker 1 I work with them with Stella Blue Coffee.

Speaker 1 They have a 5K, and we're going to run it. And I thought it would be fun if when we get to the 5K, we draw straws to to see who doesn't have to run it and who can videotape it instead.

Speaker 3 I might have a marathon that day.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 If you have a marathon, that trumps a 5k. Okay.
But I just want to see Max running a 5K. Talking about a bad guy.

Speaker 5 Oh, there would be so many breaks.

Speaker 1 Isn't 5K like three miles? Yeah, 2.1.

Speaker 5 I couldn't run a 5K when I was in the middle of

Speaker 4 playing college sports.

Speaker 3 Well, baseball.

Speaker 1 Correct. For one season.

Speaker 4 First base.

Speaker 5 I was on the team for two seasons. A red shirt had one.

Speaker 3 You think David Ortiz is out there running five games?

Speaker 1 Three red shirts at Afstra? Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
I mean, you hit dingers. How many?

Speaker 5 Three and like 52 at-that's fucking legit.

Speaker 1 OPS. Great OPS.
Having three college baseball home runs is something that I would like dream about every day when I close my eyes. That's fucking Max deserves credit for that.
Thank you. Yes.

Speaker 1 And we could tell you're a college baseball player from a golf swing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. That's on brand for college baseball, for sure.

Speaker 1 Everyone was roasting ball ball at southern New Hampshire.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Awesome.

Speaker 1 I thought it was northern New Hampshire. Southern New Hampshire.

Speaker 1 I thought it was northern New Hampshire.

Speaker 3 You mean Canada?

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 1 All right. Your hot seat cool throw up BFD.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is beer.

Speaker 3 Putting beer on the hot seat

Speaker 3 because at the Chiefs parade, a couple players got a little inebriated. Patrick Mahomes had a couple Coors Lights.
There was another guy that got wheeled out on a wheelchair because he was so drunk.

Speaker 3 And there are some people who are upset about it.

Speaker 3 Namely, Janet Hinsel in Liberty, Missouri wrote into the local paper complaining about it, said that Andy Reids had prohibited alcohol during the parade, which Hinsel said looked like a college fraternity beer bust.

Speaker 3 I don't know what a beer bust. I think she just means party.
This means a frat party. She said, if the Chiefs cannot go a few hours without alcohol, the organization has a problem.

Speaker 3 I, for one, was sickened to see this for the second time. Some Chiefs even bragged on social media about how drunk they were afterwards.
No doubt this spectacle made the news in other cities.

Speaker 3 This is amazing. So Janet wants no beer at the parade to celebrate winning a Super Bowl.
And then beer is on the hot seat as well because in D.C. this weekend, at the D.C.

Speaker 3 Defenders game, they marketed the beer snake. They were leaning into the beer snake.

Speaker 3 We made several of those beer snakes at the old XFL games back in 2020, and it was like a thing that the team was doing as a tradition.

Speaker 3 The fans were making beer snakes, and leading into this game, they even advertised beer snake packages where you could get multiple beers. Sick.

Speaker 3 So they made a beer snake in the game, and they confiscated it. They removed the beer snake immediately.
That's why fans threw all those lemons onto the field. Love that.

Speaker 1 Where are the lemons?

Speaker 4 That's what I don't.

Speaker 1 You don't walk around with a lemon in your pocket? Right. Well,

Speaker 3 they sell some mixed drinks at the game.

Speaker 1 I don't even find a lemon right now. I'd just chuck it at your face.

Speaker 1 They have half lemons in there in the bottom of the drink.

Speaker 3 So that's what everybody was drinking, or a lot of people were drinking. Got it.
They threw it on the field.

Speaker 3 They need to figure that shit out because

Speaker 3 you can't advertise a pro-beer snake environment and then remove the snake.

Speaker 1 That's not how it works.

Speaker 3 So they got to figure that shit out in D.C. because there's going to be a revolution.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Agreed. My cool throne is USA Rugby.
Oh. It's Los Angeles Sevens this weekend in the World Series of rugby.

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 3 HSBC Sevens coming to Los Angeles, and the U.S. is two points out of third place.
Whoa.

Speaker 3 So, with a good result.

Speaker 1 We're regressing.

Speaker 3 No, if we have a good showing this weekend, we end up in third place. Maybe even second place.
I thought we were a second-place team.

Speaker 3 It's still early. Okay.
It's still early. So out in L.A., go to the party, go to the games.
Las Vegas Sevens was one of the best times I've ever had. It's just a giant party.

Speaker 3 People from all over the world there cheering on their teams.

Speaker 1 We are in the Potentikong.

Speaker 3 In different ways.

Speaker 3 You get hit with less piss in Las Vegas, but there's more dancing.

Speaker 3 And we're in the group of death. We play Samoa at 4.30, New Zealand at 7, and then, no, excuse me, Samoa at 1, New Zealand at 4.30, Chile at 7.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 we got some good guys on the team this year. Some AWLs are playing on the team.

Speaker 3 Go out there if you're in L.A., support the lads.

Speaker 1 Let's go, lads. All right, my hot seat is Terry Francona.
I don't know if you guys saw this story, but it was quite funny.

Speaker 1 Terry Francona has been a manager in the big leagues for, or he's been in a dugout for 32 years,

Speaker 1 and he has been 44 years, he's been involved in professional baseball. It's his 11th year with the Guardians.
Turns out Terry Francona gets nervous too. So this is a tweet from Zach Meisel.

Speaker 1 Terry Francona gave his annual team speech. He was so nervous, he was drenched in sweat.
He He declined dinner with coaches last night so he could make edits.

Speaker 1 He made pasta, but it didn't fully cook, and broke his tooth. He arrived at camp at 3:30 a.m.
and spilled coffee all over the speech. This is like he's basically Kevin Malone in the office.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, it sounds like the way Mr. Bean would prepare for a pregame speech.
Shut up, Mr.

Speaker 1 Bean. What a legend.
But I mean, it's just Terry Francona is a legend and

Speaker 1 all-time baseball guy.

Speaker 3 Baseball lifer.

Speaker 1 And he gets nervous before

Speaker 1 the preseason speech, too.

Speaker 3 My favorite thing about Terry Francone is the big wad of chew that he does. He mixes bubble gum and chewing tobacco, yeah.
And he makes like he invents a new, it's kind of like barbicuffalo sauce.

Speaker 3 He puts it in his cheek and spits it. That's you always see him like in the dugout.
He basically stands in a puddle of his own spit. But I love Terry Francone.
He's all-time baseball guy.

Speaker 1 All-time baseball guy. All right, my cool throne, two cool thrones.
One, Jake, is down in

Speaker 1 DMV, like we said. He's calling the PLL on ESPN Plus on Thursday, I believe.
So tune in. If you don't, you're a scumbag.
And then also, you see these shirts we're wearing. St.

Speaker 1 Patrick's Day is coming up, and we've made it easy for you to find green outfits this year. The PMT St.
Patrick's Day merch is out.

Speaker 3 What's on your shirt?

Speaker 1 What is on my shirt, PFT? Tell me.

Speaker 3 Oh, it says pot of gold, and it's me and you inside a giant cauldron with lottery balls. And then we're having a great time.
And Hank is sulking in the background because

Speaker 3 I don't know why he's sulking.

Speaker 1 Why aren't you wearing this, Hank?

Speaker 1 You don't want to put on a shirt?

Speaker 4 You don't want to put on the shirt? I didn't want to steal your valor.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. All right.

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Speaker 4 It is an insult shirt.

Speaker 4 Pilar, one of the women that works on the merch team, was like, oh, this shirt's live featuring the lottery balls that Hank's never got. Ha ha.

Speaker 3 Ha ha. Sounds like a pretty normal joke amongst coworkers.
Yeah, that is.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a very nice.

Speaker 3 Sounds like you're being a little sensitive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, we'll find out at the end of the show if you get the lottery ball. Let's get to Mark Titus and the big announcement and our college basketball preview on February 21st.

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Speaker 3 And now, here's Mark Titus.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. Two very.

Speaker 1 Very, very. You let me finish.

Speaker 3 Very, very special coworker.

Speaker 1 Yeah, colleague.

Speaker 1 It is Mark Titus. If you have seen the announcement video that he posted on Twitter this morning, he is now a Barstool sports employee.
This feels very weird. Welcome aboard, Mark.
Yeah!

Speaker 3 We've been courting you for the last seven years

Speaker 3 on this show. I actually, I went back and I looked at our DMs the first time that you came on the show.

Speaker 3 It was just, it was destiny from that point on.

Speaker 1 The whole reason I came on the show in the first place was I wanted to see the man behind the PFT Comment or Twitter account. I'll never forget this.

Speaker 1 You asked me, I started this new podcast at Barstool called Pardon My

Speaker 1 um where how many shows have you done at that point like three two or three yeah because it was right early we got started uh march 1st um and i had been following you pft forever and uh i i thought the whole time i was following you i thought that i thought you were literally taking comments from mike florio's blogs and just copying and pasting them onto twitter so i was like i was like this is definitely a funny account but i don't really think i fully get it and then like about a month before you dm me i finally like understood that there is like a man behind this.

Speaker 1 This is not just somebody copying and pasting the best comments of PFT's blogs.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I got to see who this guy is. And then you told me, like, we're going to do it over Zoom.
And I was like, all right, I'll do it. I don't think this show's going anywhere, but

Speaker 1 I was like, if nothing else, I'll get to see who the guy is running this account. You're the guy who sold Apple stock.
Surprise. I'm a white guy.
And then now I think you guys are my boss.

Speaker 1 Is that how this is going to be? No, no, no, no. Hank's my boss.
Yeah, Hank is your boss. Hank is your boss.
But this is very exciting.

Speaker 1 Yeah. A long courting.
A lot of, you know,

Speaker 1 we did big steak dinners.

Speaker 1 We flirted for a while. Yeah, we put his number up on the Jumbotron.
Like, he got game. We're like, could you see yourself here? But this is very exciting.

Speaker 1 He has a new podcast that's going to be on Barstool Sports called the Mark Titus Show. Yeah, great title, right? Yeah, Mark Titus Show.
Go.

Speaker 1 So we're going to do a two-part today about college basketball. The second part will be on his YouTube.
Everyone, go subscribe. If you don't subscribe, you're a scumbag.

Speaker 1 All AWLs, please, please subscribe. We already were talking, PFT, before you got here, that when we...
So, all right. So the big news is Mark is moving to Chicago as well.
He's going to be in the mix.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited for this. You're going to be in the mix every day.

Speaker 3 I'm not because Mark is... He's gotten too handsome.

Speaker 1 He is

Speaker 1 that well. We don't need

Speaker 1 your hands, though.

Speaker 1 that's marina del ray mark fat titus is coming back midwest marcus

Speaker 1 oh he's coming hard i like it

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 the mustache is you you've got like when you slick your hair back i saw you at the super bowl yeah your hair slicked back the mustache was out yeah you looked like the the handsomest version of john wilkes booth yeah your jaw is just chiseled i uh i i don't know what happened i don't i i i yeah i moved i moved by the beach and i i started eating kale salads but yeah it's the the the dream is dead.

Speaker 1 I am going back home where I belong in the Midwest. I am excited for it, man.
That is one of the big reasons why. I think three years ago when I left the Ringer,

Speaker 1 I wanted, part of me wanted to come here, but there's no world in which I would ever live in New York. Right.
I remember that. We were recording you then.
Yeah, and the new Chicago deal.

Speaker 1 I was like, this makes too much sense. Yeah.
So,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm fired up about it. With a basketball court, which you're just going to dominate us on.
So, PFT, we were talking about ways to get new subscribers to the Mark Titus show on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Everyone go subscribe right now. Stop what you're doing right now and subscribe.

Speaker 1 Part two will be on there. But we were saying that when we get to the new office in Chicago, we're going to, I think Mark scored over a thousand points in high school.

Speaker 1 And we're just going to do a stream where me, you, and Hank all have to get over a thousand points without shooting in the paint. And we'll just be a subscribe-a-thon on his YouTube.

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, is he going to play defense? Are you going to play defense?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. No, it's no, it's just us shooting for, like, I'll go, and it'll take like two two hours, then you'll go and take two hours and Hank will go.

Speaker 1 See how long it takes you to score a thousand voices. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 3 That's a great idea because I actually had an idea of something that we could do in Chicago as well.

Speaker 3 I've never had a stroke. I've never had a stroke bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus. Oh,

Speaker 1 I was on two.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. I was forgotten about health.
Yeah, I thought you were talking about your health, too. You've never had a stroke health-wise.

Speaker 3 I guess bonk on me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put that on the list.

Speaker 3 I've also never had a stroke health-wise, but I've always wanted to be able to shoot a jump shot because I can dribble the ball.

Speaker 1 I'm not slow.

Speaker 3 I'm a decent passer.

Speaker 3 Hank's doing this.

Speaker 1 Anyone can dribble a basketball.

Speaker 3 Okay, well, I look like a point guard is the thing. I'm short.
That's all I've got going for me. I'm short.
I'll never be able to dunk with two hands, but I've always wanted to get a stroke.

Speaker 3 Could you teach me, I was thinking like a good video series could be Make Me Wet, Mark Thomas.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Where you just teach me how to just get wet.

Speaker 1 Could you make me wet? With my can my stroke make you wet? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I actually think I could. I actually think I could.

Speaker 1 I think if there's one thing I could teach in this world, it's how to shoot a basketball. And this

Speaker 1 and it's it's gonna suck for us because

Speaker 1 you are very good at basketball. No, no.
It's gonna be a basketball court. I'm not, but compared, I've seen you guys play.

Speaker 1 Dang it, last time I was here, though, I told everybody, you're better than I thought you would be. Yeah, we'd be and I stand by that.
You are better than I thought you'd be.

Speaker 1 We played and we went through a workout and I've told Hank this, I think, because Hank was like, is he really that good?

Speaker 1 And we went through a workout. The first 10 minutes, I think Mark probably, I don't know, shot like 30%, like bricking everything.
Had to calibrate it.

Speaker 1 And then he hit one shot and he didn't miss for 50 minutes straight. Like literally did not miss three pointers, everything for 50 minutes straight.
And I was like, oh.

Speaker 1 Okay, I get it. Like, that's the difference between just like random dudes who like play like little pick basketball and you.
I can can teach you, though.

Speaker 1 You just have to, we'll start by you have to find your spot on the floor. Just find like the one spot where you're like, I will not miss from here.
I'm an elbow guy. I like your elbow hooks.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like it.

Speaker 1 But those are inefficient shots. No, not for you.
No, you're Jamar Barosa. Okay, elbow extend.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we're bringing back the lost star of the mid-range jump shot.

Speaker 1 Yes, we start there. Then I think we can do it.
We have time.

Speaker 1 We'll be able to handle that.

Speaker 3 You know what? My parents actually met because my dad was a pretty good basketball player back in the day.

Speaker 3 He played at GW, and he was in the gym, and he was shooting foul shots, and he hit 97 foul shots out of 100. My mom saw him

Speaker 3 like through the window to the gym, and she was like, I have to have it.

Speaker 1 I have to have Steph Curry. He's so wet.
I need that man. That's Steph Curry right there.

Speaker 1 But this is very exciting.

Speaker 1 I am so, so excited for you to be here at Barstool. Yeah.
Moving to Chicago. You're going to be with us throughout March Madness.
You're going to come out to New York.

Speaker 1 We'll have you on a bunch of times. The new Mark Titus show.
It's going to be awesome. The one thing that people are probably listening right now, and they're like, hey, what happened to his co-host?

Speaker 1 Well, Mark will talk about his path to bar stool and everything, the decision behind it on his new podcast, which first episode Selection Sunday.

Speaker 1 No, we're doing, we're going to put the first out, I think, March 6th. Oh, yeah, Championship.

Speaker 1 We're going to do Monday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, all through the rest of March. Good week so.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 Good day.

Speaker 1 There's a big.

Speaker 1 not a lot of great podcasts come out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we're going to do that. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 people want to know, I guess. I don't know why they want to know, but there's not really much of us.
But

Speaker 1 I'll go through everything. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, all right.
You got all the dirt. Yeah.
All right, all right. All the dirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell all.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the juiciest episode of Mark Titus podcast ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 when we pump it up and we say it's salacious and all this stuff, and then people tune in and you're like, yeah, me and Tate are still friends. That doesn't matter because he's still listening.

Speaker 1 So that's the game. Yes.
Yeah. You'll never believe why we broke up.
You'll never believe. You'll never believe you.
Yeah. 10 Reasons Why Tate and Titus broke up.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so March 7th, that would be right. No, March 6th.
Monday, March 6th. Monday, March 6th.
So that'll be the start of championship week. He'll be here.

Speaker 1 Like I said, we're going, I don't think we've announced this, but I'll announce it right now.

Speaker 1 For the first part of the tournament, we are going to be visiting some penny properties in Ohio. And it worked, it was serendipitous.
We'll We'll be in Columbus. Oh, we'll be in Columbus.

Speaker 1 We'll be in Columbus. I wonder if you've ever been there.
Will the Puckeyes be playing an NIT game at home?

Speaker 1 NIT favorite. Maybe I'll swing over and CBI.

Speaker 3 You should get NIT stew on your podcast.

Speaker 1 I love that guy.

Speaker 3 Break down the NIT.

Speaker 1 I met him in Austin, Texas, I want to say. Is he from Austin? Yeah.

Speaker 3 He came up to me in a bar with an envelope filled with blogs that he had printed out.

Speaker 3 They were all about the NIT.

Speaker 1 I want to say he, I won the NIT, me personally,

Speaker 1 in 2008. We won the NIT the year after we went to the national championship game.
Oh, damn. And I think when I met NIT Stu, he brought like a

Speaker 1 lamb.

Speaker 1 There was something. There was like the NIT logo, obviously.
And then I think it said like 2008 champion. And he asked me to sign it.

Speaker 1 Do you have a ring? I said,

Speaker 1 I have a watch.

Speaker 1 I have like a watch that they got from like Dick Sporting Goods for like 70 bucks, probably. We need to get you like the NIT champion on it.
Like

Speaker 1 every year. No, when they have the NIT championship, Madison Square Garden, like Mark Titus comes out court being like, and championship.

Speaker 1 Yeah, welcome back to Champions.

Speaker 3 Or like they should name the MVP of the NIT after Mark Titus.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 We'll just say that's what it is.

Speaker 1 When we won the NIT, it was the weirdest feeling ever because we wanted to celebrate because like you, but it was almost, we were almost celebrating not losing in the NIT, you know, because like the only thing more embarrassing than playing in the NIT is losing in the NIT.

Speaker 1 So it was a very weird locker room because we were like technically happy, but it was not like a championship type locker room, you know?

Speaker 3 They could have great ratings in the finals. What if it's Ohio State against Kentucky?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 I like Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think Kentucky.

Speaker 1 I honestly don't think Ohio State's good enough to make the NIT. No, I don't think so.
I think they're going to lose the rest of the season. And the way they've lost is just like every

Speaker 1 which way. I actually, we can jump off from here.
I actually like Kentucky as like a long shot.

Speaker 1 Something about Cal's guys

Speaker 1 He's gone through it. He's legitimately on the hot seat.
Yeah. But they are, I think, right now supposed to be like a 10 or 11 seed, the big win against Tennessee.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's something about them when I watch them. I'm like, I could see how they could get hot.
Like almost a,

Speaker 1 what is it? 2014 UConn? No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The 2014. Yeah, the team that just didn't lose for the.
No, was that the 2014 Kentucky was like an eighth seed that went to the title game and lost to UConn. Is that what you're talking about?

Speaker 1 Who knows? Now I'm screwing up my years. It was the 20, whatever year UConn beat Butler.
Oh, that was 2010. 2010.
The team that they literally won the entire big team.

Speaker 1 You're talking about comparing them to UConn. I was thinking about their Kentucky team.
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Where

Speaker 1 they have really good players. They've had moments where they've looked terrible.
They've had moments where they've looked good.

Speaker 1 And maybe they'll just be one of those teams that's like, hey, we get hot. Because we tried the two-seed Kentucky last year with the National Player of the Year.

Speaker 1 Why not not try the 10 or 11 seed with Cal in the hot seat? Shock the world.

Speaker 1 The problem I have with Kentucky, I don't love their roster. Kayson Wallace is awesome.
I love him.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Oscar Shibwe is.

Speaker 1 It's almost unfortunate that he came back because he was so likable and so good. And I don't want to say he's like tarnished his legacy because that's way too that only happens in the NBA.

Speaker 1 You can only tarnish your legacy in the NBA.

Speaker 1 Hunter Dickinson's trying to get him.

Speaker 1 All right. I stay agreed.

Speaker 1 But like the magic isn't there with Oscar, and I think what's like he still plays super hard. He still is like a very likable guy off the court.

Speaker 1 He checks all those boxes. I just think like somewhere along the line, someone figured out that he sucks in ball screen defense.
And like, what if we made him move his feet a little bit?

Speaker 1 And it's sort of exposed Kentucky. But they have turned a corner.
Severe Wheeler is no longer like running the point for them, which is, you know, kind of made them a different team.

Speaker 1 And I do do think they're better than if you haven't been paying a ton of attention you would get lost in the idea that kentucky sucks this year and pals on the hot seat and all that i do they they they're good enough to win a couple games but i i don't know about they're not they're not winning the national title i think it's i think it's their they have like a couple crazy guards that are like will just be reckless yeah and i like like whenever i'm thinking of a long shot i'm like give me a couple guards that will just they'll throw their body at the at the basket and they'll just be like constantly fast breaking when there's not a fast break that type of shit I do think there's something to it, though, that

Speaker 1 something about the jerseys. Like the reason, the reasons we're so enamored with the Blue Bloods is because in that locker room,

Speaker 1 they feel like they're supposed to

Speaker 1 win. And like when March comes around, I guess there's so many other examples.
I mean, they literally just lost a 15-seed last year, but like there is something weird about.

Speaker 1 I mean, I really think that if North Carolina's team last year was wearing different jerseys, they would not have gone to the national championship game.

Speaker 3 I agree. The expectation actually improves your game a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if they were were wearing like a mountain west jersey they would have lost in the first round

Speaker 3 the exact same group of guys exact same everything else is the exact same it's just the laundry they're wearing is different with shiwei he's a really interesting guy like off the court like fascinating guy i was reading some stories about how he sometimes just like won't travel to a game because he gets a premonition right he gets a premonition that he should not get on this plane because something bad is going to happen on the plane he listens to those premonitions

Speaker 3 so like it's really up for he's up for anything like when when it comes to tourney time, like if he's getting a good, if he wakes up and feels great, like he might go out there and drop 30. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But if he wakes up and he's like,

Speaker 3 he feels like some danger is going to happen on the way.

Speaker 1 Didn't he say like God told him something bad was coming last tournament? Yeah.

Speaker 1 St. Peter.
He's right.

Speaker 1 Maybe he does. Maybe he does come.
What's his name? Pete, whatever. Yeah.
What was the guy's name?

Speaker 1 The guard. Oh, Doug.
Doug. Doug.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Dougie Dirt. Dougie Dirt.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Doggy Dirt. I had an all-time, you know, when you just have an interaction with someone and it just, you think about it forever after because you're like, damn, did I suck there?

Speaker 1 I met Oscar Shibwe when I was in Lexington for the Breeders' Cup, and he came up.

Speaker 1 It was the Jeff Ruby steakhouse. So the guy was like introducing him around.
And I was like, oh, man, what are you back for your seventh year? And he was just like, yeah, it's my fourth.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, Fuck, I really fucked that one up.

Speaker 1 Nice guy, though.

Speaker 3 When you win National Player of the Year, that guy usually doesn't come back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I just walked away being like, what the fuck did I, why did I, I don't even hate, I like him.
Why did I say that?

Speaker 3 My favorite story about him is that they played in, was it the Bahamas? They played. a game outside the United States.
Right.

Speaker 3 And for whatever reason with his visa, he's not allowed to get NIL money when he's outside the U.S. So he touched down on the airstrip and he immediately took a call from his agent.

Speaker 3 He goes, where do you need me and how much? And then he just spent the entire, he skipped practices.

Speaker 3 yeah and coach cow was like i get it he's sending money back home this is an opportunity for him to cash in there's we got to make sure that he can get paid in the us

Speaker 1 i agree i agree i don't know i don't i think that's above my head i don't know if i don't know who can talk to tate about it

Speaker 1 yeah so but it is a bummer i just to put a bow on the shiba talk like i it's a the guy is the first national player to come back since tyler harrensboro um and it is kind of a bummer that we're not talking about him more i guess right it's like you felt like coming into the year he was going to be a guy you talk about all season and he's so likable he's just kind of not been that the guy who stays a year too long is always yeah it's just like ah damn and i know obviously he probably wasn't going to be a nba pro but still it's just like ah fuck he had a great year but unfinished business that's what yeah maybe maybe it all like comes full circle and they they win it all the final guy yeah yeah right falls here kids are back in school vacations are over and cozy season is officially on you know what that means bombas season is on bombas makes the most comfortable socks ever and they even make slippers tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials.

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Speaker 1 All right, so the big story of this year in college basketball, as far as I can tell, is is no one's good except the Big 12 and maybe Alabama. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much. Yeah, it does feel like everybody kind of sucks,

Speaker 1 which is, it can be fun. I don't know.
It's been,

Speaker 1 I go back and forth on whether or not this has been a quote-unquote good year of college basketball because I do think the parody is fun.

Speaker 1 Like my ideal season, though, is there are, I don't want one or two good teams. Like the year against Zag and Baylor were so much better than everybody else and then they met in the title game.

Speaker 1 That was cool because they were two great teams and we were just like all like you know edging thinking like what's gonna happen if they play oh my god and then it happened and then it was over like five minutes into the game and they run them off the court um that can be fun but for me i want like five or six good teams where you can start talking yourself into like a handful of different now you're you're almost like you're trying to talk yourself into one team that could win it all right because it's every time there's a new number one they lose yes yes i i think it this year there's a record that was tied and there's still enough season left that could be broken the most times times that the number one team in the country lost.

Speaker 1 Right. Lost a game.
And it's that they've given up the number one rankings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's, I mean, I do, I love college basketball, so I think it's been a fun year in the fact that it like it is wide open.

Speaker 1 It's the most funny. It'll be a fun tournament in that regard.

Speaker 1 It won't be fun for a guy like me who might come back on PMT or, you know, do my own show on the Mark Titus show, subscribe on the YouTube show. Breaking down the matchups.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're pretty busy Monday, Wednesday, Monday, Friday, Friday.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I have time to schedule that.

Speaker 1 It will not be fun for a guy like me who

Speaker 1 the public turns to and says, make sense of all of this. Who's going to win? Give us the predictions, smart guy.
Yeah, if you're so smart, who's going to win the national championship? Yeah, Indiana.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I said Indiana to you, I think it was a month ago, and you're like, ah.

Speaker 1 Indiana.

Speaker 1 Listen, I was an Indiana fan before I was a fan of any other team in this world. I was a fan of the Indiana Hoosiers basketball team.

Speaker 1 So I I would love for Indiana to be a national title caliber team again.

Speaker 1 I don't think they can win at all. I think they could get to the final four.

Speaker 1 I think their guard play,

Speaker 1 Hud Shafino is awesome. He's going to be a first-round pick this year.
He's a freshman.

Speaker 1 He looks like a, there's one play every game in the last like eight minutes that he will just do the dumbest shit you've ever seen.

Speaker 1 And then he usually follows it up immediately by hitting like a really tough shot with his hand in his face. But you're like, why would you...

Speaker 1 And they're waiting on Xavier Johnson to come back, who's, I think he's a senior. He's been around forever.

Speaker 1 They're waiting for him to get healthy, but the problem is he's just as erratic. That's what worries me.
Indiana also doesn't play awesome defense all the time, but they do have a little juice.

Speaker 1 There's like juice to the program in a way there hasn't been in a while.

Speaker 1 Which is exciting. I feel like watching an Indiana game, if Trace Jackson Davis can get like two or three big dunks in the first half, they're going to win.
Yeah. Because everyone's just pumped up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he does like, he yams.
I was at the game against Purdue when they beat Purdue. Purdue is ranked number one in Assembly Hall.
Have you been to a game of Assembly Hall? No, I need to go.

Speaker 1 I've been to it. Dude, it is, but I have never been to it.

Speaker 1 It was the perfect storm because Assembly Hall is, it's always awesome, but it's at its absolute best when Indiana is like a one- or two-point underdog, which I don't even know what the spread actually was in that game, but like there's a sense that they're not supposed to win, quote-unquote, but they're good enough to win.

Speaker 1 And that crowd just, like, that's where they, the worst assembly hall is when Indiana is favored by, like, seven. Yeah.
And then everyone just has clenched buttholes.

Speaker 1 Like, we're going to fuck this up somehow.

Speaker 1 But when Indiana's like a slight dog and they're ranked like 18th and they're playing a top five team, that place is bonk.

Speaker 1 We got to go there and we should do a road trip next year. We should go there and a little bit farther away, but Fogg Allen, I've got to go to the bottom.
Fogg Allen awesome.

Speaker 1 And so leading into that, I mean, Kansas is probably, if you were sitting here right now, whatever day it is, February 21st,

Speaker 1 Kansas feels like the team. And it's crazy because they would go back to back with a completely different roster.
I think I saw the stat. Like there's,

Speaker 1 I can't remember, was there four teams that have gone back to back or five teams that have gone back to back?

Speaker 1 Florida,

Speaker 1 Duke,

Speaker 1 UCLA, am I missing? Russell, San Francisco, San Francisco, and like all of them. Cincinnati, maybe?

Speaker 1 Maybe? I think Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 All of them lost like 15% of their scoring. Right.
Kansas lost 70% of their scoring from last year. And they're trying to go back to back.
But think about that Florida team.

Speaker 1 Everyone came back to that. I know this, Dan.
Thank you.

Speaker 4 Oklahoma AM.

Speaker 1 Oklahoma A ⁇ M? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that Florida team, like, gosh, it was crazy.
They cheated. They cheated.
Literally cheated.

Speaker 1 That will never happen again.

Speaker 1 My old man take from that national title game has always been that there can't be, it has to be six fouls in college basketball because I remember being so hyped for that game.

Speaker 1 And Odin and Joe Keem got two fouls. No, that was the game before.
Oh, that was fine. That was Roy Hibbert and Greg in the final four.
And they got both were foul trials. They were two minutes in.

Speaker 1 and it was just like, what the fuck am I watching? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that should be illegal. If you win a national title, you can't bring back all five starters, right? Well, they did.
That should be illegal. That should be illegal.

Speaker 1 But unfortunately, it's fucked up.

Speaker 3 That Florida campus was insane at the time, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't want to talk about it.
But yeah, Kansas is

Speaker 1 doing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we're recording this right after Kansas played TCU.

Speaker 1 That's our

Speaker 1 PFT. I put them on that.
Yeah, you love TCU.

Speaker 1 You love Eddie Lampkin.

Speaker 1 And they're finally getting healthy. Yeah, there's something to that.
Right. Maus Duncan was at the game.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we got Grady Dicked. And I said to you before, there's something about Kansas players, Kansas white guys.

Speaker 1 If you put them on a Duke uniform, I'd hate their guts, but in a Kansas uniform, I'm like, I kind of like them. Scrappy.
Yeah, like

Speaker 1 they're kind of cool. No, Grady.
I mean, the guy has had to live with the name Grady Dick his whole life. And that haircut.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's still...

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 I like Grady Dick a lot. He's awesome.

Speaker 1 He's a ton of fun to watch. Kansas, I think,

Speaker 1 I would say Kansas and Houston as it stands right now are the two that I believe the most in.

Speaker 1 Kansas, but like, if I'm being completely honest, the only reason I believe in Kansas is because they won it last year the exact same way. Like,

Speaker 1 if you switch the teams,

Speaker 1 and I was watching this Kansas team having not won a national title, like, Bill Self had not won the national title last year. I don't know how much I believe him.
They get blown out at home by TCU.

Speaker 1 Last year, they got blown out at home by Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Bill Self basketball, for as long as I can remember, has always been like inside out. He's always had a great post-guy that he's dumped the ball down into, played through them.

Speaker 1 That's been like part of who he is. Last year, they abandoned that, and then David McCormick in the final four played out of his mind.
I thought he should have won most outstanding player,

Speaker 1 not to take away from Akbaji, who was awesome, but also literally to take away from Agbaji. I would have

Speaker 1 given it to McCormick.

Speaker 1 But like,

Speaker 1 he wasn't like the the focal point of their offense. They were winning games by just putting Christian Brown and Baji

Speaker 1 on the wing, just letting them run up and down and make plays. And it was like a huge departure from what Bill Self basketball had been to that point.

Speaker 1 But this year's team, it feels the exact same way. It's a different roster, but it's the exact same feeling that you have watching Kansas last year, where it's like you're checking all the same boxes.

Speaker 1 I don't know how much I trust their bench. They had last year, Raimi Martin.
They don't really have a Raimi Martin this year, like the kid from Arizona State that wasn't really that good.

Speaker 1 And then suddenly in the Final Four

Speaker 1 in March was

Speaker 1 playing out of his mind.

Speaker 1 So there's still like questions around Kansas, but I think you talk yourself into Kansas because

Speaker 1 what they did last year, and they're following the same recipe, but also

Speaker 1 their schedule is insane. And every single night they're playing a team that is

Speaker 1 NCAA tournament caliber that they're at some point, they have like 14. I don't even know what the quads mean.
I'm being completely honest. There's four of them.

Speaker 1 But when you tell me they have 14 quad ones

Speaker 1 the whole big 12 it's the entire big 12 quad one yeah yeah it's insane so they're gonna be battle tested in that regard and yeah so what about houston houston feels like if you're if we're playing the uniform game if houston was wearing a blue blood jersey sure the run that they've been on recently we'd be talking about them a lot more i think houston um this is houston fans are not gonna like this They're not gonna like this.

Speaker 1 I thought Houston should have been the preseason number one team. I thought Houston has been the betting favorite all season.

Speaker 1 I think they should continue to be. They're the number one team right now.
I love Houston.

Speaker 1 But Houston, as a program, is sort of like the new Gonzaga where

Speaker 1 they have gotten over the hump. They made a final four.
So I don't mean in that regard.

Speaker 1 I just mean

Speaker 1 the way you look at a Houston team at this point in the season is the way you would look at a Gonzaga team where you're like, yes, they're beating the shit out of everyone. Yes,

Speaker 1 they have two losses or whatever it is. But I don't know about the schedule.
Like, how much have they been playing?

Speaker 1 Gonzaga now, to their credit, is like they're Gonzaga stepping up and playing everybody in the line conference.

Speaker 1 Houston still really isn't.

Speaker 1 South Florida.

Speaker 1 Temple's actually scrappy. Temple beat them.
Yeah, I know. Temple's scrappy.
I also, my problem with the.

Speaker 1 But Houston is

Speaker 1 otherwise. Like, they have the combination of guard play, experienced guard play.
They play great defense. They have an awesome coach.

Speaker 1 They have a five-star and Jairus Walker who's going to be a lottery pick, maybe a top-five pick.

Speaker 1 They have have like everything you would look for. And

Speaker 1 you'll love this.

Speaker 1 Maybe I've already talked to you about this. Jim Nance's last Final Four

Speaker 1 this year. The Final Four is in Houston.

Speaker 1 Jim Nance is an alum of the University of Houston. So connect those stars for me and tell me that's not like, you know, there's not some destiny to play there.
And they rebound rigged.

Speaker 1 They rebound the fuck out of the ball. That's always my Houston.

Speaker 1 They're just going to get, especially on those second tournament games or like Championship Sunday when it's like a brick fest and the game's played in the 50s.

Speaker 1 Houston wins because they just get so many exercises.

Speaker 1 The concerns would be like they play super slow, so they have sort of the Virginia concerns we had about Virginia where like that's how they lost to Temple is

Speaker 1 they were just like, we're fine, we're fine. It's a close game.
We're fine, we're fine. And then the last second, like the ball bounces one way and Temple wins.

Speaker 1 They're like, what the hell just happened? Right.

Speaker 1 So that's worrisome is that like Houston can be quote-unquote dominating you and they're up by like seven but they have like a stranglehold on the game because their defense you can't score on their defense but then suddenly you start throwing in bullshit and they get upset i don't know this might be a dumb question has any team ever won the nca tournament in their home city oh um it's like the nfl with butler almost did in 2010.

Speaker 3 that's right that shot should have gone in

Speaker 1 duke lost in 94, I remember, in Charlotte to Arkansas, which is not anywhere close to the question you asked.

Speaker 1 Same state.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. That's a great question.

Speaker 1 I'm Googling it right now. They're making history.

Speaker 1 CLA, maybe? Do they play one of those finals?

Speaker 1 Probably

Speaker 1 way back in the day.

Speaker 1 My biggest problem with Houston is

Speaker 1 Kelvin Sampson named his son Kellen Sampson. And I don't like that.

Speaker 1 That's confusing. And Kellen Sampson, his son, is going to be the next great head coach.

Speaker 1 He looks exactly like

Speaker 1 everyone talks about him.

Speaker 1 But you can't just name your son Kelvin.

Speaker 1 Why would you name him Kellen?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a weird name.

Speaker 1 You just think you're screwed.

Speaker 3 He just turned

Speaker 1 on its side. I was reading an article about Kellen Sampson, and I was like, wait,

Speaker 1 is his dad's name Kellen? I thought his dad's name was Kelvin. And then I had to go Google Kelvin Sampson.
I was like, Houston Sampson. And I was like, wait, no, his name's Kelvin.
So I don't like it.

Speaker 1 So they're out on my

Speaker 1 immediately disqualified. Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 I'm going to throw another school at you here, and big cat, cover your ears.

Speaker 3 I think I believe in Purdue.

Speaker 1 Whoa,

Speaker 1 I think I believe in Purdue. Wait, you didn't let me finish.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 3 Purdue will win the national championship next year when Edie comes back for another season and he's three inches taller than he is right now.

Speaker 1 I have gone on record as saying, first of all, I'm a Purdue booster

Speaker 1 and I donate to the school every this is that's true, that's a fact every summer. So

Speaker 1 I wouldn't mind if Purdue won. But yeah, I've gone on record saying I'm willing to cheer for Purdue and win a national championship for the Big Ten as much as

Speaker 1 I would too.

Speaker 1 We've gotten to that point. Yeah, no, it's desperate.
Like, I absolutely hate. I hate the SEC football fans that cheer for the SEC.
Yeah. But

Speaker 1 at a certain point, when the war has come to your doorstep, you have to take arms. Do you know what you have to? Do you know how dark it's gotten?

Speaker 1 So, not only am I like, yeah, I guess if Purdue won, then we could stop with the

Speaker 1 jokes about

Speaker 1 the Big Ten not winning since Mateen Cleves, although I count Maryland 2000. I count Kansas last year.
I think we're hitting Kansas at some point.

Speaker 1 Also, if Konzaga had won, I would have counted them because Jalen Suggs is from Minnesota.

Speaker 1 But it's getting so bad. I'm like, is Northwestern frisky?

Speaker 1 Like, that's how bad it's getting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, I'm like, I'm asking myself that.

Speaker 1 That's rock bottom. So, Purdue, when you talk about like boxes to check

Speaker 1 in a national championship, in a national champion, I would say Purdue checks zero of them.

Speaker 1 I would say there are zero boxes that Purdue checks.

Speaker 1 Can we make a new box? But

Speaker 1 I say that affectionately.

Speaker 1 Part of me wants them to win because I think it'd be cool to make a new box. I think it'd be cool to be like, actually,

Speaker 1 everything we thought we knew about college basketball and March Madness, we were wrong about.

Speaker 3 Can we just do that?

Speaker 1 You actually can win with two freshman guards and a coach that's never been to a Final Four, even though he's been coaching for 30 years, and a big dude that's 7-4.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and a 7-4 guy that if he gets two fouls, you're out. Yeah.
Like, that's the thing with Purdue.

Speaker 1 If Zach Keating gets two fouls five minutes into any tournament game, it's over. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I genuinely, I mean, I'm laughing, but I generally think that would be cool.

Speaker 1 That's part of what I love about college basketball is that Tony Bennett was playing a style of basketball that could never work. It can't work.
You can't walk the ball off the floor.

Speaker 1 You can't play that kind of defense. You'll never win anything.
That's why you lost to a 16th seed. And then you won a national championship, and you're like, all right, well, maybe it can work.

Speaker 1 Maybe not moving forward, it can't work. I have a box for you.
This was a tweet from Bob Bryan.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a ponk for you, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put him on the list.

Speaker 1 This is a tweet from Bob Bryan.

Speaker 1 It was like three days ago. I'm watching Purdue 7-4 Zach Eady play quality big man basketball for the fourth or fifth time.
And if it's true, there's no longer a place in the NBA for him.

Speaker 1 I'm officially disgusted with the hostile takeover of the three, which has distorted basketball at every level.

Speaker 1 I love that take so much for a couple reasons. One, if you've watched Zach Edie play for four or five times,

Speaker 1 great college basketball player. At no point are you like, this guy's going to be awesome in the NBA.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And second, he says that as I think the top three in the MVP right now are Jokic, Embed, and Giannis. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, they don't play like traditional back-to-the-basket, but those are three big men. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jokic is going to win his third MVP. He's a big man and a very skilled one.

Speaker 1 I'm scared to say too much because

Speaker 1 I feel like I am.

Speaker 1 I feel like being the old man yelling at the cloud comes for all of us.

Speaker 1 But it feels like it comes for all of us. So

Speaker 1 I'm not saying I agree with Bob Ryan. I'm saying.
No, there's a part of them. there

Speaker 1 i'm saying i know i'm well on my way to becoming that so i don't want to be a hypocrite i don't want to shit all over this guy because i when i watch basketball now my mind starts going a lot of places that like a bob ryan goes like not i'm not trying to get rid of the three-point line but uh i do miss the days when guys like me who could shoot were specialists like if i was If I was on my AAU team now,

Speaker 1 I would be kicked off the team because Greg Odin would be shooting threes. You know what I mean? And like that, and like, what would my role be on this team? They'd be like, you don't have a role.

Speaker 1 get off the team. And then I wouldn't be sitting in front of you guys now, you know?

Speaker 3 If you are afraid of being a hypocrite, you picked the wrong company to work with.

Speaker 1 Let's just call it right there.

Speaker 3 Zach Edie, I think when we watched Zach Edie Live against Wisconsin last year, and remember when you won the Big Ten championship game?

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 Co-title. Remember that? Co-title?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We were watching him play

Speaker 1 forever.

Speaker 3 Watching him move his feet and pivot. I think we said that he looks like he's controlled by somebody that lives inside his body that's pulling levers, telling his feet.

Speaker 1 He's gotten better.

Speaker 1 He's he's gotten smoother he's gotten better right he's gotten better he's gotten smoother to his credit he is he uh i i do feel bad for him in the sense that like people do rip on him for just he's not good he's big like that's like kind of become a meme and certainly in the big ten yeah um the guy's good like he's very talented he's skilled he's he's he's uh he can pass out of double teams like that's the reason purdue's good you know how many there have been a ton of i was just talking to kenjak uh as i was sitting next to him before he came in here about uh he's like who's the guy on asheville that tyler hansborough dunked on that was 7-7?

Speaker 1 Kenny George was the kid's name. Um, seven seven.
Do you remember that? The player where Hansborough took four steps? Yes,

Speaker 1 just yammed on him. Um,

Speaker 1 but that's an example of a guy that's just big, you know, like that, like there's a reason that Zach Eady, that that guy was never up for there's a Isaac Haas is like the example.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's better than Isaac Haas. Yeah, Zach Eady.
Yes, Isaac Haas was never a national player of the year. I also

Speaker 1 because Zach Edie's good is what I'm saying, uh,

Speaker 1 but you know, he has one thing going for him, and and this is a storyline thing because more than anything with March Madness you need the storyline I don't know why because usually I have Purdue on one of the bottom TVs so I don't have sound on they just love showing his mom they love showing his mom it's constant you need something like there's Zach Edie's mom yeah like okay

Speaker 1 sure I don't know what the story is is there a story behind it I don't know he he he came out of her I guess yeah I know I she gave birth I think she's Asian I don't know why I think it's they just show her constantly just like, okay.

Speaker 1 In the hockey picture, too. Like when he was playing hockey at age 15 or whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I will say, in your defense,

Speaker 1 I think everyone who's maybe older than 30, and it does come for everyone, you watch a basketball game and you do find yourself saying, Can we get some post-touches? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can we get some

Speaker 1 post-touch here, please?

Speaker 1 If I can be serious for a second, there is an element.

Speaker 1 The evolution of basketball has gotten to a point where

Speaker 1 I kind of don't recognize the game that I was taught growing up. And like, I fell in love with basketball

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 there's like certain fundamental truths of how you play the game. Like, being tall was supposed to, that's where like Bob Ryan's coming from.

Speaker 1 It's like the best player of all time was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. And then, you know, Jordan comes along and makes people question the game.

Speaker 1 But like, that was Bill Walton and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and like these dudes at Shaq and all these big dudes dominate basketball.

Speaker 1 So then there are ways you're taught the game. If you're not that big, this is how you find success in the game.
And basically all that has been blown open.

Speaker 1 So now like I get put in a position, I'm going to be put in this position here in six or seven weeks where I have to cover the NBA playoffs.

Speaker 1 And everyone comes to me and asks me, like, what do I think of like this team?

Speaker 1 And I'm honest to God, like, there are times where I watch the NBA and I'm like, I don't even recognize what the fuck this sport is.

Speaker 1 And whether it's, I'm not saying it's worse, better, or anything else. Like, some people argue.
Yeah. It's a skill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not trying to, I don't want J.J.
Reddick knocking on my door saying, let's fight about this. I'm not interested in that.
I'm just saying, like, the game that I was taught,

Speaker 1 it does not,

Speaker 1 it doesn't look like the game. And that'll fuck you up at a certain way.

Speaker 1 And I add like 60 years, and now I'm Bob Ryan's age. I can't imagine where I want to be sitting there.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Steph Curry. What's going to happen in another 40 years?

Speaker 1 That's what I mean. You'll be able to swing back.
There's going to be a four-point line.

Speaker 3 If there was no three-point line at all, would Steph Curry still be like an all-time great?

Speaker 1 That's a great question.

Speaker 3 If his deep shots counted as two,

Speaker 1 I think he would be

Speaker 1 like a,

Speaker 1 he'd still be a Hall of Famer, but not like an all-time

Speaker 1 GOAT level type of person. I mean, did you see that? I would say that would be my

Speaker 1 gimmick. You're saying he's a game.
Yeah, yeah. Did you see that tweet the other day? It's like, I think there's a new format on Twitter.
I don't know what Elon's doing, but it's like the long format.

Speaker 1 And basically, listed, it was

Speaker 1 career seven

Speaker 1 three-pointers made in your games you've played,

Speaker 1 seven three-pointers made, and it was like Steph Curry, 140, and then it was just a list of all the other games, and then it got all the way down to like 22. It was like Ray Allen.

Speaker 1 It was like, this is fucking insane.

Speaker 3 Steve Curry was an awesome shooter growing up. It's like Steve Currow makes this offense complete.
You have to have that guy on your team. Now Steve Kerr would never even

Speaker 1 know that card.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 like I I said, some people think it's better, some people think it's worse. I go back, like, because

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's ultimately why I think I gravitate to college basketball is just sheer laziness on my part that like college basketball more closely resembles a game that I was taught where a bunch of different contrasting styles can work.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so I don't want to rip on Bob Bryan too much because I read that too, and I was like, I'm willing to listen to his argument. I'm willing to hear him out.

Speaker 1 When people do the college basketball versus NBA thing, because I love basketball, so it's like, no, love watching the NBA, but I just know that I don't really like the games don't really start mattering until the second round of the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like that's when usually the first round, you'll see all the lower seeds lose.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like in college basketball, it's a inferior product in terms of like if you if you watch side by side the shop making of college basketball versus NBA, it's fucking stupid.

Speaker 1 It's not the same sport, but January and February, the games are intense, the crowds are awesome, and March Madness is the best tournament we're doing.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, there is something to be said about. If I tell you two teams are playing in mid-January,

Speaker 1 pick any time of the season,

Speaker 1 you'll know going in that everybody who is healthy is going to be playing. Right.
There's nobody's going to be sitting down. And every single person on that takes the court is going to, or at least

Speaker 1 there is an understanding that they are going to be busting their ass, doing everything they can to win this game tonight.

Speaker 1 I think like having taking those two things into consideration is something I never thought you'd have to do with basketball. Right.
And that's become very frustrating. Right.

Speaker 1 I don't know what games count in the NBA. I don't, I, I have no idea what games matter.
Like, I'll look up the.

Speaker 1 I remember when the Thunder smoked the Celtics not that long ago, and they didn't have Shea Gildis Alexander and they hung 150 on the Celtics.

Speaker 1 And I was like, so if that happens in college, you're like, oh, shit, I guess the Celtics can't win the NBA title. It means

Speaker 1 that they're frauds.

Speaker 3 It means nothing. The next 23 games mean something for LeBron.
Yeah. Those 23 most important games.
Do you accept him as a Buckeye?

Speaker 1 It depends on whether his son commits to

Speaker 1 no, that's fair. That's fair.
That's right. That's right.

Speaker 1 So, right now, Bronnie, if you're listening, LeBron, if you're listening, you're Buckeyes, come home. We love you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like LeBron, if LeBron put out a statement that said, I want my son to play basketball, to play college basketball at home, how many schools are going to be like, fuck yes, that's us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's us. Like, Miami is going to say that.
UCLA is going to say that. Akron's going to say that.
Ohio State's going to say that. Northwestern might even say it for that one summer.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, LeBron's coming to the balls.

Speaker 3 What about this take?

Speaker 3 November, December, January, Collins, March.

Speaker 3 You know who had that take? I'll give you one guess. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We don't say his name. We don't say his name on the show anymore.
But Northwestern, Frisky, you actually believe Northwestern, I have them in my could make some noise bucket.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can we talk about this? Because I was thinking,

Speaker 1 what are the differences to you guys between making some noise, a team that can make some noise, a team that's dangerous? Are they the same thing? And then a team

Speaker 1 that's going to be a tough out? Like,

Speaker 1 where do we... I have my theories, but I'm curious what you guys think.

Speaker 3 A tough out is a 14-seed that takes it to overtime and plays a lot of defense and slows.

Speaker 1 Like, there's only going to be 60 possessions in the game. Yeah.
St. Mary's to me is the perfect tough out.
Tough out. That's a tough out team.
Like, they have, I think it's like a low ceiling, but.

Speaker 1 Iowa State plays a little more offense offense than they did last year. They're a tough out.
Tough out. Yeah.
Yeah. Where they're going to be.

Speaker 1 And then I think a dangerous team is the team that has all the talent in the world, but hasn't quite put it fully to like in Illinois comes to mind as a dangerous team. You want no part of Illinois.

Speaker 1 Right, because you don't know what to expect. Because they don't know what to expect.
Nobody knows what to expect. Right.

Speaker 1 Michigan State might be in there. Michigan State, like the whole Big Times.
Right, yeah.

Speaker 1 So yeah, throw Northwestern in there.

Speaker 3 And then Western makes some noise.

Speaker 3 I just love the name Boo Booi.

Speaker 1 Boo Boo is no no. It's just fun.

Speaker 3 He seems like a name that would get a lot of run in the NCAA tournament.

Speaker 1 Northwestern has, this is the best Northwestern team ever. I feel comfortable saying that.
I mean, the 1930s.

Speaker 1 This would be the second time they've ever made the tournament. I think the 1931 team was pretty good, though.
This entire

Speaker 1 Northwestern talk. Wait, I have a, I have a.

Speaker 1 Bob Ryan's chiming in saying what I want to say.

Speaker 1 I have a hypothetical for you. Oh, wait.
Last thing on the, I think Make Some Noise is a team that has one star. And it's like,

Speaker 1 john morant was a make some noise team yeah where it's like if this guy does this yeah they could go deep

Speaker 1 our guy jelly walker uab yeah like that's a make some noise team like they could they you could see them going to the sweet 16 does it have to be a smaller school though no northwestern counts is a smaller school in this yeah it does i think a school from from a major conference that's like a

Speaker 3 six to eight seed If they win that third round game, that's a makes some noise.

Speaker 1 But I think they can't be a team that goes to the tournament often. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 a Georgia Tech,

Speaker 1 they would be a make-some noise team if they were good enough. Like one of those types of Florida Gulf Coast was a great makes-some noise.
Yeah, they made a lot of fucking noise.

Speaker 1 They made a shitload of noise. A shitload of noise.
Tunk City. Yeah, but you couldn't say, like, if Duke was an eighth seed, you couldn't say they could make some noise.
No, they're dangerous.

Speaker 1 At that point, you're dangerous. Yeah, if Duke is dangerous.
They're rounding into form. Yeah.
Like, they're getting hot at the right time. I had one last hypothetical.

Speaker 1 Then we're going to shift to the Mark Mark Titus show on the YouTube. So we're going to go to the other studio with your art, which I can't wait to see.

Speaker 1 It was actually funny because when Titus signed all the paperwork and I was like, he's like, what do I do next? I was like, good news. Barcelona has 400 employees now.

Speaker 1 So I was like, I put him on an email with like five different people. I was like, can you guys do the stuff for them? And they did the stuff.
It was crazy. They did.

Speaker 1 They were like, yeah, just make the YouTube and do all that. Because

Speaker 1 I would have the same reaction as you. It's like,

Speaker 1 what do I do do now? I was, I took a meeting this morning about my YouTube banner page and what I thought about it, and I was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I have your thoughts, zero thoughts, yeah, zero thoughts. It's crazy that we have all these.

Speaker 1 All right, so here's my hypothetical, and then we're gonna, we're gonna talk some Duke when we go on to the Mark Titus YouTube page. You can find him on all the social mark titus show.

Speaker 1 Uh, subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to the YouTube, please subscribe to the YouTube, do it. I want to see that at least 10K in like two days.
Please do it, just do it. All right,

Speaker 1 uh, Hypothetical. Back to LeBron real quick.
I've always wondered this. If LeBron had committed to Akron,

Speaker 1 how deep would they have gone in the tournament? 18-year-old LeBron. Hmm.

Speaker 1 So we're just,

Speaker 1 I don't remember their roster, so we're just going off like a replacement level.

Speaker 1 Say they're third in the Mac.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I was sick with that. That's pretty fucking good, though.
I know.

Speaker 1 I know. This guy can play some basketball.
And I always just like,

Speaker 1 think about how cool it would be if one of those type of guys was like, yeah, I'm going to go. It's actually, we got

Speaker 1 the junkyard version of this with the Monty Bates at Eastern Michigan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 they definitely would have been good enough to make a final four. He's that good.

Speaker 1 That would have been so cool. Could they have

Speaker 1 won a national title?

Speaker 1 Honestly, man,

Speaker 1 if there's one player, it's him. Like, he was.

Speaker 1 We can do the GOAT debate on the market when we shift over to my studio. But, like,

Speaker 1 we're not doing a Jordan LeBron thing, but the GOAT 18-year-old was definitely LeBron. Or Korean.
Well, I would have went back to the title.

Speaker 1 Oh, this hypothetical is funny because MJ did win a title.

Speaker 1 No, he was 18. Yeah, but at North Carolina.
Yeah, phenomenal. What if not an acronym? What if he's not an acronym?

Speaker 3 The real GOAT 18-year-old.

Speaker 1 With Hall of Fame James World.

Speaker 1 What if you put

Speaker 3 Wimbayama on Georgetown right now? How good is Georgetown? a

Speaker 1 more than

Speaker 1 Mike Hamilton?

Speaker 1 As I'm thinking through these hypotheticals, I'm just picturing, like, is Ted Valentine on the call for the game?

Speaker 1 Because if, like, Ted Valentine is refing a LeBron James Final Four game on Akron and going into, like, say it's like last year's Final Four, very blue-blood heavy, but instead of, I don't know, Villanova's out and put Akron and LeBron in,

Speaker 1 and all the talk going into it is about LeBron and this like darling Akron team.

Speaker 1 And is this kid the greatest 18-year-old we've ever seen? And they only lost one game all year and it was on a last segment. Whatever the situation is.

Speaker 1 If Ted Valentine is refing that game, he will 100% find a way to

Speaker 1 steal the show. And

Speaker 1 punish LeBron for being great. What the fuck do you think you are, dude? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, I don't know. That's something you actually have to consider

Speaker 1 when thinking through college basketball.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Mark Titus, now a colleague. Couldn't be more excited.
Yeah, I hope it doesn't change anything, man. I hope

Speaker 1 it changes. I don't know, like, what does this mean for my PMT legacy? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's over. Is that it? Is it done?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm asking. Like, do we have to.

Speaker 1 I think you'll probably break the record for most recurring guests. I think one of the things that

Speaker 3 you did get suspended for that one year. Yeah, for the things you said.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't know if you were having me on because this was. This was all part of the flirtatious recruiting period.
And now that you got me, you're like, oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't want you on all marsh madness no it is it is pft's right though the fact that like i'm very happy you're here but we really were your only last option after the things you said

Speaker 1 like there was nowhere else you could go you know

Speaker 1 news max or barstool sports i looked at the landscape and i i was uh i was broke have you guys you have seen full swing on netflix episodes yeah it started you started i haven't started you saw the brooks episodes yeah it broke my heart i know that that's how i feel it's like i got to a point robbie hummel is my scotty scheffler where i was like,

Speaker 1 I got to be honest. I thought I had like a stranglehold on mainstream college basketball coverage,

Speaker 1 but I can't compete with this fucking guy. He's on every broadcast.

Speaker 1 He's somehow working for every network. He works for ESPN, but then like Fox owns Big Ten Network and this man's on Big Ten Network.
How do I compete with that?

Speaker 1 And he winning three-on-three championships.

Speaker 1 He's a better player than I am. He's a better.
I can't compete with this. I need to join the Live Tour.
You were less interested.

Speaker 1 I got Dave on the phone.

Speaker 1 Here we are. That's my live tour.
But it's going to be awesome. It's a great addition for the Chicago office.
You are going to probably kill us in basketball.

Speaker 3 We're going to watch PFT get wet. So wet.

Speaker 1 So everyone get excited. Go subscribe to the Mark Titus YouTube page.

Speaker 1 Part two of this discussion will be on his page on Thursday. And we're talking about Duke, right? We're talking about Tuesday.

Speaker 1 And I also want to talk about Alabama.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's wrap up some guys on chicks.

Speaker 1 Also, get excited because the Mark Titus show is out on Thursday, the new YouTube. It's going to be, go subscribe.
We need everyone to subscribe to the Mark Titus show on YouTube.

Speaker 1 We will actually be streaming some college basketball tonight

Speaker 1 from the gambling cave on the Mark Titus YouTube. So go watch watch it and go subscribe.

Speaker 1 Guys on checks.

Speaker 4 Hello, Mr. Cometer, Senor Cat, Billy Feetball, and Cake Marsh.
My boyfriend of five years is always making comments about himself putting objects in his butt.

Speaker 4 Last night, we were laying in bed watching TV and we couldn't find the remote. My boyfriend said, oh gee, I hope I didn't shove it up my ass.

Speaker 4 We flipped pillows and blankets over and eventually found it. But when he found it, he then pretended to shove the TV remote up his butt while making grimacing sounds and expressions.

Speaker 4 He makes comments like this every day, multiple times a day.

Speaker 4 He tells me he doesn't want me anywhere near his butthole during sexy time, but this is his way of telling me he wants to do that stuff, question mark.

Speaker 4 Does he want me to peg him or is this just normal guy humor? Yeah. Thank you, longtime listener.

Speaker 3 I think he's putting feelers out there, so you should put a feeler out there. Maybe next time you're getting warmed up, just slip like a finger.

Speaker 3 Because it sounds like he's not wanting to ask for it, but if it happened, he would be down for it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you you got to test the waters because he's definitely giving you the hints. I'd say more than enough hints.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, shout out that guy who created an account who just replies to everyone's tweets saying this person gets pegged. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's a, I don't know. You've seen it.
I've seen it. I've seen it several times.

Speaker 1 The funniest part about that guy's account because, like, every now and then there'll be someone who pops up who's just like, this is going to be my lane. I'm just going to pick it.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to reply to everyone's tweets at Barstool and say, this person gets pegged.

Speaker 1 The only person who

Speaker 1 got upset was ellio uh who was like why are they saying i'm getting pegged

Speaker 1 so i appreciated that but yeah shout out that guy yeah if he's bringing it up a lot i think it means he's at least curious but he's he's shy it might actually be the twitter account i'm talking about yeah yeah

Speaker 1 sup fellas

Speaker 4 my boyfriend and i moved in together Like a typical guy, his two biggest passions in life are sports and video games.

Speaker 4 Recently, he's fallen back in love with Pokemon, saying, it reminds me of simpler times.

Speaker 4 He spends two to three hours a day hunting on Pokemon Go, brings his Nintendo Switch to bed, and plays the new Pokemon Scarlet.

Speaker 4 And when we have sex, as he's getting ready to come, he sometimes says, Pika Pika, followed by Choo,

Speaker 4 right as he comes.

Speaker 3 Giant missed opportunity to say Squirtle. Yep.

Speaker 4 How do I tell him that he's taking video games a bit too far and we need to get back to normal life? Thanks.

Speaker 1 I don't think a guy can take video games too far.

Speaker 1 Let guys play video games.

Speaker 3 yeah. Uh, the Pokemon thing is one thing that I missed.

Speaker 1 I did too. I'm too old.

Speaker 1 We tried to get into the Pokemon Go where they remember when the Chinese government had you spy on your own living rooms, and it was very funny, too, watching people like walk around in a park with their phones out, just like tripping over themselves.

Speaker 4 Yeah, uh, but one of my friends still plays it religiously, really?

Speaker 1 It's hilarious.

Speaker 4 I would love we'll just be somewhere and he'll pull it out. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm hunting.

Speaker 1 I would love to shout out to Heron. I would love to interview those people.
Like,

Speaker 1 you know, there's some people out there who are just crushing farmville still oh yeah like i would like to talk to those people people play on the train i people play like candy crush all the time yeah like there's some there's some hardcore gamers on the train i'm like i never i never got into candy crush angry birds people still doing that i've thought about buying a nokia burner just so i could play snake again yeah that was

Speaker 1 the best oh brick breaker holy shit brickbreaker i spent so much time playing brick breaker and then it sucks because you beat it and then you just go back to level one just faster yeah

Speaker 1 it's like fuck I wasted all this time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, let him play video games.

Speaker 1 Let the boys play video games.

Speaker 3 Nothing wrong with that. As long as he's not taking his phone out and actually finding a Pokemon while you guys are having sex.
Yeah. Like, is Charmander on your nipple? That's kind of king.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 Here's a classic one. What's up, almost father of three cats, short king PFT, and handsome Hank?

Speaker 4 Should I be concerned about my boyfriend of three months going on his spring break trip to Florida with his fraternity brothers alongside a sorority that I did not get into?

Speaker 4 Furthermore, Furthermore, he has history with some of those girls and I don't trust them.

Speaker 1 XPMD guys.

Speaker 3 No, this sounds fine.

Speaker 3 You trust him, right? It sounds like you really trust him.

Speaker 4 Three months, yeah. I mean, that's that's a life

Speaker 1 trust to build up.

Speaker 3 You've been dating for three months. He's going to Florida, probably Panama City Beach, I would imagine, with a sorority you didn't get into with girls that he's slept with before.

Speaker 1 This is one of those questions, like, don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 Get him tested when he gets back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put an Apple tag on him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 See where he's going.

Speaker 1 Is that it?

Speaker 4 No, I got some more. Okay.

Speaker 1 These are long ones. I usually try to

Speaker 4 sift through the short ones, and they're all just long.

Speaker 1 Should we, next Wednesday, should we do Chicago F EQs? Yes. Okay.
So we'll do that. So everyone, get your questions in.

Speaker 4 Hey, PMT gang, I've been dating my boyfriend for four years, and he's a big fan of Part of My Take, and for some reason, an especially big fan of Hank.

Speaker 3 That's mean.

Speaker 1 That's you just randomly picked this?

Speaker 4 No, I told you, I didn't read these. I don't, I can't, I can't pre-read the long ones.
That's too much reading.

Speaker 4 Now I wish I did.

Speaker 3 He is such a Hank fan.

Speaker 4 He swore he would not have sex with me until.

Speaker 1 Alright, yeah.

Speaker 1 He is such a Hank fan.

Speaker 4 You swore you're not have sex with me until Hank has the lottery ball correct. Ha ha ha.

Speaker 4 Love of God, can you please get it rigged for Hank to get the the lottery ball? Because he clearly will never get it on his own.

Speaker 4 This is just a lie.

Speaker 1 This is like Chirac.

Speaker 4 This is just a bunch of lies.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 I'm not even going to finish that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Never having sex.

Speaker 4 That's a guy. No, that's a guy that rolled.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think so? No. No way.
It's guys on chicks.

Speaker 3 At this point, you should just encourage him to enter the priesthood.

Speaker 1 I'm going to have Meme send me the full one.

Speaker 4 Last year. Yeah, I know.
He said, can you get the box? He'll clearly never get it on his own so I can get laid for the first time in two years. Yeah.
All right, yeah. You're never getting laid.

Speaker 4 You're probably a virgin.

Speaker 1 That doesn't mean you won't eat. I mean, he's a virgin, but you're not going to get the ball.

Speaker 1 Heidi, you bonkable boys.

Speaker 4 Recently, my boyfriend of seven years. Like, these are all so long.

Speaker 4 Recently, my boyfriend of seven years and I were visiting my family and stayed at my mom's for a couple nights. On our last night, I woke up to what I presume was my boyfriend pounding his meat.

Speaker 4 I didn't see it with my own eyes, but it sounded like the man was going at it. I tried turning in bed to make it obvious that I was awake and hearing what was happening, but he didn't stop.

Speaker 4 This proceeded for what felt like a very long time, but I don't think he ever finished. I heard a few god damn its during the event, but no solid conclusion.

Speaker 4 The next morning, I asked him how he slept, and he said, not great. I said, duh, you were jagging off all night.
He said, he had no recollection of this and looked at me like I had three heads.

Speaker 4 My question is, what is weirder? The fact that he couldn't recall masturbating at all or that he didn't finish. P.S.
He will 100% hear this because we are both huge AWLs.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Probably the jacking off part. It's probably the weirdest.
Yeah, that's probably.

Speaker 1 I would say that's the weirdest.

Speaker 4 Not finishing.

Speaker 1 Well, sometimes you're drunk. Yeah.
It happens to everyone. Sometimes you don't finish.

Speaker 3 Jacking off in a bed next to somebody is just bad manners.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Agreed. Yeah.
Isn't it?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just asking a question.

Speaker 3 Unless he asks you to join in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you should probably go to the bathroom. All right.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair.
I also like, I mean, not finishing like, you know, whiskey dick. Like, that

Speaker 1 kind of rules.

Speaker 1 But if we're being honest, like, you, you fuck like a porn star.

Speaker 3 Yeah, nature's Roman swipe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, it gets like, everyone's like, oh, whiskey dick. Like, I don't know.
It's kind of cool. Like, I felt like I lasted forever.
That happens, though. And I did, because I never came.

Speaker 4 If you're just doing it to yourself, like,

Speaker 4 how do you not finish?

Speaker 1 Well, I think the whiskey dick.

Speaker 3 Sounds like he was drunk, and he probably just passed out. He gave up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he probably lost the memory. That's his head that he was jerking off.
That's actually a big concern.

Speaker 4 Staying at her mom's house.

Speaker 3 it sounds like he just how drunk can you be i don't know

Speaker 1 what if he was sleep jerk like in his sleep

Speaker 1 and at sleep like sleepwalking no but like jerking off that actually probably is more likely than the blacked out

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 what a wild thing to have happened i don't think i've ever sleeped that happened to pee wee heerman yeah

Speaker 5 how would you know that's a good point Because he said he didn't recollect it at all.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 like if you get caught, you're going to be like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's exactly what you would say. But it looked like saying that you were asleep is the best defense against anything.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 by far. Nate Ocha said he was asleep.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right, this is the last fucking essay.

Speaker 1 You got this, Hank. Hi, Dad Cat, loser, Hank.

Speaker 4 Fuck the Eagles, Max, PFWi, and Billy Boy. Three and a half years ago, I went out with some girlfriends, and one of them brought a couple of guy friends along.
Well, we ended up drinking, and

Speaker 4 well, we ended up drinking a lot, and me and one of the guys ended up going back to my place.

Speaker 1 Hot.

Speaker 3 Nice.

Speaker 4 It was a one-night stand.

Speaker 3 Such a classic.

Speaker 4 But we followed each other on Instagram and added each other on Snapchat.

Speaker 4 Classic. Fast forward several years, and here's my dilemma.
I'm a nurse, as well as the guy that I hooked up with.

Speaker 1 They're both nurses? Okay.

Speaker 4 I also have a boyfriend of three years.

Speaker 1 Guys can be nurses too.

Speaker 4 Also a nurse. Oh, this is like Grey's Anatomy.

Speaker 1 Doctor is the mother, Hank.

Speaker 4 This is a Grey's Anatomy plot. Coincidentally, my boyfriend and this random hookup have ended up working on the same unit together.
Now they have become really good friends.

Speaker 4 Now my boyfriend has demanded that we go on a double date with my old hookup and his current girlfriend.

Speaker 4 How do I go about managing this situation? Do I tell my boyfriend what happened or act like I've never seen him before? Thanks, guys. Much love.
They're going to...

Speaker 4 The hookup and her are ending up together. Is this Taylor's oldest song?

Speaker 3 Is that the plot? That was Taylor's oldest son. I was going to say, you can't say anything about it.
it if you're a nurse. You took the Hippocratic oath, right? True.
First, do no harm.

Speaker 3 You're not allowed to say.

Speaker 3 That's doctor or nurse-patient confidentiality.

Speaker 1 You need to go up to the hookup and be like, we're not talking about it, right?

Speaker 1 Because that's the only thing that could blow up.

Speaker 1 If he's talking about it and you're not talking about it.

Speaker 3 I think Hank's right, though. I think having that conversation will lead to a DM, which will lead to a text, which will lead to

Speaker 3 working late shifts shifts together. Yeah.
There's all those beds around in the hospital.

Speaker 3 The IV is just dripping.

Speaker 1 Overnight shifts. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Heart rate just going up.

Speaker 1 All right. Good guys on checks.
So, yeah, next Wednesday, we will do Chicago FAQs. You've got questions about the office move

Speaker 1 and no, you can't get a job right away. That will be.

Speaker 1 How many think?

Speaker 3 Five figures.

Speaker 1 Five figs?

Speaker 3 If you ask.

Speaker 4 Mid-five figs.

Speaker 1 We're blacklisting your name. Yeah, yeah.
If you ask, you're blacklisted.

Speaker 1 All right. Hank, have you ever gotten this? What?

Speaker 1 The lottery ball? Oh, no. Really?

Speaker 3 Nope. 99.

Speaker 3 Numbers. 99.
17?

Speaker 1 99? 99. I'll do 69.

Speaker 1 I also,

Speaker 1 this is an experiment. This doesn't count as me.

Speaker 1 My son picked five today. Okay.
I want to see if he gets it before Hank.

Speaker 3 Could you imagine?

Speaker 1 Fucking three and a a half-year-old.

Speaker 5 20.

Speaker 1 Oh, imagine if he gets it before you. Interesting you didn't ask your daughter.

Speaker 1 Well, she doesn't, she can't count yet. Yeah, true breeze, she can't count yet, so fuck you.

Speaker 1 88. Oh, that looked good.

Speaker 3 That's the second time it's been two numbers.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 It was 44, now it's 88. Next time it'll be.

Speaker 1 Can you do the math?

Speaker 3 love you guys. Once nah, once every second,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 3 uh, the regal horned lizard has a gross way of attacking

Speaker 3 sheets scouting around the room. I don't know what about to say I'll take anyway.

Speaker 3 I made it for me.

Speaker 3 Happy ticking down a cheese. Jason, I'll take the definitely.

Speaker 1 Shiny

Speaker 1 and lion through

Speaker 1 feeding on the pain.

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love up, Kate. Shiny,

Speaker 1 look at her smile. So in love with the way we are.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of king.

Speaker 1 Things I say

Speaker 1 that I want just when you're reasonably

Speaker 1 You are the things I've got to remember You shine away

Speaker 1 Love can be anyway

Speaker 1 Love can be anyway

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 your

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 Take on me,

Speaker 1 take on the I am

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 Take on me to

Speaker 1 all the children to the table