NFL Week 5, Fastest 2 Minutes, Bills Whomping, Are The Giants Good? Rams Have Problems And More

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On today's part of my take, week five in the NFL.

We're going to recap every game.

We got fastest two minutes.

We have football guy of the week.

Maybe talk a little playoff baseball, which has begun.

The Mets just did the sad trumpet right before we started.

And it's going to be a great show.

Break it all down.

A lot of action from Sunday.

A nutter sad offseason.

An utter, a nutter one in the books.

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Now in the street, there is violence,

and then a lot of some work to be done.

No place to hang out or washing,

and then I can't blame all of the sun.

Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue,

and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electron Make

it by Barstow Sports.

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Today is Monday, October 10th,

week

five.

We start in foggy London town.

Would you care for a spot of ayahuasca in that tee, Governor?

The Giants at 4-1 are opening up eager eyes as Mr.

Brightwell scored on the Piccadilly special.

Mercedes-Lewis Hamilton drove into the end zone, but it was the Giants defense that came up with a big burst stopping on fourth down to end the game.

Sherlock Holmes sidekick,

Christian John Watson, couldn't crack the case, and it may be jail for both of them at this point.

Giants, 27.

Packers, 22.

Huh?

Huh?

The G-men?

The G-men.

In Cleveland, where Austin Cup said, I'm not going to the left of the defense.

I'm not going to the right of the defense.

I'm going through the defense as he racked up 199 yards and two scores.

On the other side of the ball, the Browns chubbed up with a Kareem pie as their tandem scored three times.

And at another, from when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's Amari.

Speaking of Amari Cooper, JC Michael Jackson was bad.

He's bad.

He's really, really bad.

And treated Amari Cooper like he was an elementary school playground, staying 500 feet away from him at all times.

Chargers, 30.

The Browns, 48.

In Minnesota, where Kirk Cousins started the game with 17 straight completions.

That's That's a lot of completions that didn't go see Billy Eichner's movie on the opening weekend, boom.

Do better.

Jalen Rager-Mortis is back from the dead with a one-yard touchdown as the Vikings were accused of necrophilia for fucking a dead team in the first half.

But the Frisky Bears came back until they did it.

Have you seen this?

Have you heard this one, Tej?

They're calling him Amir Smith the Clock because you can marcette your watch to the wide receiver making a dumb play as he fumbled away the last drive of the game and got called for a block in the back on a Justin Fields touchdown run.

The Vikings 29, the Bears 22.

We go east to the Meadowlands, where, in a touching tribute to my dear friend Chris Christie, Teddy George Washington Bridgewater was shot down for being wobbly.

Allegedly, boom, Braxton Crunch Oops Olberios cut up the roof of the dolphin's mouth as Brees Hollinotes was a man-eater all afternoon.

As I got my mind, Jed's three

I got my mind Jets 3-2.

You wouldn't think Robert Sala is a rich girl with all the receipts he's holding.

Jets, 40.

The Dolphins, 17.

In Foxborough, where it might sound crazy what I'm about to say.

Bailey, he's here so Bill can take a break.

He's got a rocket arm that can throw to space with the air like, I don't care, baby, by the way.

Because I'm Zappy.

Clap along if you feel like taking the top off the defense roof.

Because I'm zappy.

Rap along if you feel like Bailey is the true.

Because I'm zappy.

Rap along if you love the QB from WKU.

Because I'm zappy.

Drop along if you feel like Bailey made the defense do-do.

Zappy, zappy, zappy, zappy.

Zappy, Zappy.

The Patriots 29, the Lions who say.

In Duball, where Damian Franklin Pierce and Jefferson Davis Mills have a lot of Texans thinking the South will rise again as Houston had a very successful afternoon.

The game was no piece of cake for Travis Inteman, who's crumbled the ball away through his buttered fingers.

Houston really covered the spread, and they'll be bellying up to the table tonight behind Tex Rex Burkhead and Nico DeGallo Collins.

Texans, 13, the Draguars, 6th.

Up to Carolina, where Jeff Wilson.

Jeff Wilson, king of Russia, laid his hate on the Panthers defense all afternoon long.

And Matt Golden rule says, do unto others as you would do unto yourself.

So be careful, Kyle Shanahan.

You might get spit on.

The Niners look like Kurt Zumer kicking the cats all over the field.

And it looks like Baker might need a PJ Walker as he was seen in the dreaded walking boot after the game.

Niners, 37, Panthers, 15.

We go out to the desert where Kyler Murray Magdalene went down controversially and really blew it when he was supposed to be helping the savior Cliff King of Kingsbury.

The Eagles have a monopoly on first place in the NFC as go directly to Jalen Hurts, trapped Kyler under a thimble and railroaded him.

Cameron Dicker said, Hey, Matt, what's up?

Let's slide.

And Mendola misses kickwide, right?

Cortos, 20.

The Eagles, 17.

That was wrong.

Bending on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola.

Such a fine sight to see.

It's EK, my lord, and his butt is sore from last week when he had diarrhea.

You have to fight

back.

Saints fans don't like

that.

The writing Gino off.

He didn't run

back.

Saints go marching 39-32.

And that

is week five.

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Here we go, boys.

We're watching Sunday night football.

We're in the fourth quarter.

We'll update it when it goes final.

The Ravens are up 13 to 10 with about 11 minutes left.

This game, this is just an old school AFC North game.

This is what we watch for.

We watch for the Ravens playing on Sunday night in their dark, dark black uniforms.

Defense swarming.

Queen picked off maybe the easiest interception.

of his entire career.

Yes, yes, and Lamar has missed many, multiple wide-open wide receivers, but that's just good defense, baby.

Well, really, what this game is, it's a battle between the two best kickers in the NFL.

Justin Tucker and Evan McPherson just started up flexing at each other.

They're doing like almost ballet-style poses after they drill a 60-yard field goal.

It's the kicker version of the Sunday Night Football Jay Cutler versus Phil Rivers way back in the day in like 07 or 20.

Yeah,

they were just yelling at each other.

Screaming at each other from the sideline, but with kickers.

So, yeah, we will update it as it goes final and we'll talk about this game.

But let's get into the the games.

Let's hop right into the games.

I feel like this week, if you had to grade this week, there were some exciting moments.

There also were some absolute shit kickings that went down,

notably the Bills and the 49ers.

I don't know if I'm forgetting any other shit kickings that occurred, but it was a good week.

It felt like a good week.

Patriots

definitely liked it.

And I would say, yeah, the Bills was the shit kicking of the week.

Yes, yes.

But let's hop in the games.

Let's do it.

We'll go from chronological order as always, starting with the London game, the first time we ever sent two teams over 500 to London.

The Giants, 27, the Packers, 22.

Brian Dable is a fucking awesome coach.

I'm going to say he's a Haas.

He's awesome.

He's definitely a Haas.

I like his entire coaching staff, actually.

Like Wink Martindale, every time they show Wink on the sidelines.

Oh, yeah.

I'm like, why haven't I gotten a full daily eye dose of Wink Martindale for the last 10 years?

Because Because

he looks like an old retired professional wrestler a little bit.

Yeah.

Do like a rat tail mullet thing that he's got going on.

And the name is like he's an associate of the mafia.

Oh, yeah, that's our guy, Wink Martindale.

He does the numbers.

Dude, he runs that.

If you're Wink Martindale, yes, you're either like collecting on the street from somebody or you're a football coach.

Yeah.

That's really the only thing that you can be.

He's got the chain.

Here's how good Brian Dable is as a coach, and I know maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves, but no one thought the Giants were going to be 4-1.

Oh, and I'll even go beyond.

Like, I know that the Giants are a legitimately good team.

They're like a well-coached team right now.

They're not the most talented team, but I'm not even going to have the discussion of whether they're like one of the worst 4-in-1 teams of all time because they're just a good 4-1 team.

This was a game they weren't supposed to win.

They win this game.

They now have...

tied their wins from last year.

So that tells you everything right there.

Like week five, like it wasn't a huge roster turnover.

Week five, they've already tied all their wins from last year.

And Brian Dable is such a good coach.

He actually has made Wildcat work again.

Yeah, like that actually is the hardest test you could do because Wildcat, we've joked about ever since Tony Sperano brought it out with Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams.

Like,

it hasn't worked for years.

Teams will run it just to give him a different look, and they'll be like, oh, is this running back going to run or pass?

And then he always runs.

And yeah, they're always running still, but he, like, they have used the, they've maxed the most out of their talent.

and Daniel Jones actually played well on a hobbled ankle Saquon was awesome then he got hurt but they just they maxed the most out of their team that's how good Brian Dables a good coach I'm gonna say it right now Daniel Jones not only had like an ankle injury he was recovering from his hand looked like he jammed it up a robot's ass yep it was just bleeding he was bleeding from the wrist and like from the back of the hand a ton of blood so when he was going under center yeah he was going under his center's butt and it looked like his center was having his period out of his butt the entire time.

And when I first saw a center like running downfield on block, I was like, did he poop himself?

Yeah.

Like, is that a poop situation?

But then I put two and two together.

No, his quarterback is just experiencing stigmata and bleeding out onto his white pants.

Yeah.

It was such a fun game to watch.

And I do, you're kind of right with them running the Wildcat all the time.

It's not a necessity.

But also with Daniel Jones, when he's a good runner.

And now we've actually, we've reached the point, week one, we were saying, I think it was like after Daniel Jones did that really bad interception in the end zone.

Well, at least he's not the guy.

At least you don't have to worry about him being that.

Now, your team is playing so well, and Daniel Jones is proving to be at least like a very tough guy.

He's back in firmly, like, is he the guy territory?

Well, he, my theory is, and I, it's a lot of people probably are thinking the same thing, that the Giants are essentially saying Daniel Jones isn't the guy, so we're going to just basically say we don't really care about his long-term health.

We'll run him all the time, but he might just be such a gamer that he just runs himself into a contract extension where he's like, hey,

you basically said we'll waste his health to try to eke out a few wins.

And now he's just winning while injured and playing good ball.

And it was, yeah, the Giants are

scrappy as fuck.

They have no wide receivers.

They have no wide receivers.

No, no one.

They have no wide receivers.

They did like a double reverse Philly special to their backup tight end who ran the ball in.

That was like the play calling that the Giants are doing, they're actually fun.

And I tweeted this out.

I had a bunch of people be like, oh, you must not have remembered the Super Bowl runs.

This is like the first time that I can remember a Giants team being fun to watch as an outsider.

Right.

Yeah, those Super Bowl teams, they had great defenses.

And like when they, 2007, that front four,

amazing to watch.

Plax Goberus, he was fun to watch sometimes.

But this is just like a fun team with kind of like wrinkles in the play calling.

It's almost like a Chiefs style offense without Patrick Mahomes and the elite wide receivers without anything.

Without anything.

Saquon.

Yeah, they're running the Chiefs' offense with no downfield threats whatsoever.

And it's actually really fun to watch.

And it's maybe a little recency bias because the game against the Bears last week was not fun to watch, but that doesn't matter.

Like my biggest takeaway is that the Giants just, like, you know, when a coach...

doesn't have the best roster, but they're finding ways.

And like there's a certain, there's something to be said when they're trying all these different plays, it's not they're trying it because they know everything will work.

Like, you know, when the Chiefs get bored and they get cute?

Yeah.

The Giants are doing it it out of necessity.

They're like, we need

to have like five plays that just do something different because we can't just run it to Saquon every play and have Daniel Jones run, you know, past people every play on a hobbled ankle.

But yeah, this, and then this game, this game completely turned.

God damn it, I love the Packers, how they always do this to themselves.

They fucking, I love when they do this.

They just fall in love with the pass and the shotgun pass, and it killed them today.

And I love it when it kills them.

They were running the ball so well, and the game basically turned on the giants going on like a 10 play drive score touchdown the packers come back so your your defense is gassed they come back they go three incompletions from shotgun and then the giants score another touchdown on a long drive yeah it's like game over that was it it changed the entire outcome like the how the game was being played the packers just run and get a few first downs it probably plays out differently the packers probably win the game but they it seriously was i'm looking up right now it it was 15 plays, 91 yards, eight minutes.

The Giants went for a touchdown drive.

The Packers had the ball for 26 seconds, and then the Giants went for another drive, six plays, 60 yards, three and a half minutes.

And that was the game.

That went from 20 to 13 to 27-20.

I love that the Packers do that.

It makes me so happy when they fall in love with it.

And guess what?

Aaron Rodgers didn't throw an interception, so you should be happy.

So every week, I like to find something that Brian Dable does that like a first-year coach should not be doing, where he's, and when I say should not be doing, I mean he's overprepared for the job.

he hasn't had too many of those growing pains that a lot of coaches get their first year this week it was blatantly obvious like he did something on at least on defense they were ready for Aaron Rodgers to catch them in their I think they had like six different defensive backs on the field they went small to cover all the wide receivers and Aaron Rodgers loves to catch the opponent when they're trying to sub out once they start running the ball right against that light set and so the giants saw that Rodgers was going to catch them with too many men on the field and they were ready for it, and they stopped their substitution in the middle of the play, and they didn't go through with it because they knew that Rodgers had prepared for them.

So they Dayball prepared for Aaron Rodgers preparing for the Giants.

Yeah.

And he beat him at his own game in it.

And that's not something that most first-year coaches ever do.

And can you imagine Nathaniel Hackett trying to go up against that?

That's thinking way too far in advance.

He would crap himself.

Yeah, no, no chance.

But it also,

the issues with the Packers, like we've all talked about the wide receivers, but it was so clear that Aaron Rodgers only trusts Lazard and Randall Cobb.

They had 21 targets.

They had more than half the targets for the Packers.

And that was what happened at the end when it's like, you know where the ball's going, and they just kept on batting it down.

And it was great.

It was a fucking great way to start a Sunday.

Also, shout out to the English Giants fans out there for coming up with a shove the fucking cheese up your ass cheer.

I loved it.

I mean, I think you're kind of like me where you hear a British guy chant something and you're immediately like, yep, I'm in for whatever.

Yeah.

Shove that cheese.

Especially that.

Shove it fucking cheese up your ass.

Yeah.

Shove that fucking cheese.

Shove the fucking cheese.

Shove the fucking cheese up your ass.

It doesn't say anything, but it works.

No.

Shove it up your ass.

Yeah, shove it up your ass.

It sounds great.

And we also had the video that went viral of the Giants player Holmes getting jerked off on the sideline.

That was wild.

I mean, we all know he's getting a massage on the top of his leg, probably in his quad.

But the angle of, I assume a British fan getting that, that is some just good old-fashioned, like, British humor.

Yeah.

I mean, seeing it and just being like, look at this guy.

He looks like he's getting jerked off.

Do you think that if

having somebody on your sidelines that just kept your players semi-erect during the games, if that got proven that they'd be faster because they have more blood circulating in their lower body, would they have a guy on the sideline who was in charge of that?

Teams would absolutely do it.

A fluffer?

Yeah, a fluffer.

A fluffer.

And a stunt cock.

And we're not going to make the obvious joke that you think that we're going to make.

Nope.

We're not.

Can I play this last question for you guys from the reporter?

I don't know if you guys saw this.

I just want you guys to hear it, and I want your reaction if you didn't see it.

It was quite something.

So, this is, I can't remember her name, NFL Network talking to Saquon after the game.

This is what she asked Saquon.

How heavy would that scale be?

One out of time, I'll say 10.

Right now, we feel like

if you took the confidence and heart out of your head and body and then put that on a scale, how heavy would the scale be?

Not what would the scale read.

How heavy would the scale be?

And then Saquon tried to clean it up for us, like, well, one out of ten, let's talk English here.

Yeah.

Because what you just said made no sense.

American talk.

They both weigh the same.

They both weigh the same?

A pound of confidence and a pound of air?

Heart.

No, it's heart and confidence.

A pound of heart and a pound of confidence, which weighs more?

I think the heart weighs more.

And how would the confidence, like if you took it out while you were injured and then you said in the team

on the scale, but you're also, remember, it's you're weighing the scale too.

What if it's an old, old school scale that slides like at the at the doctor's office?

Those things weighed a lot.

I don't think that you can take confidence.

If you're really super confident, you would say, there's no possible way for you to remove the confidence from my body.

Right.

That's how confident I am.

Right.

Okay.

So, yeah, that one confused me.

I think

the confidence should be zero pounds.

Whatever the scale weighs, that should be how much the confidence weighs.

I feel like the heart has to weigh something.

Secretariat's heart was

four times.

How much does the heart weigh?

I haven't watched the last episode of Dahmer yet, so I'm not sure.

Yeah.

The heart.

Seven pounds.

Seven pounds?

I thought it was eight pounds is the human head.

Oh, 28 grams.

28 grams?

Yeah.

Is the heart?

That's the soul.

That's a brick.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, that is a brick.

Yeah, that would be a Saquon like one kilo.

It was, yeah, that was a nice ending to the game.

But yeah, fun way to start the day.

I thought the quote of the day came from Rasul Douglas.

They asked about the experience of playing over in England, and his answer was, it fucking sucks.

You don't get to do nothing over there.

You just fucking get on a plane, get over there and fucking practice.

Then you play a game.

You get back on a plane and travel fucking eight hours somewhere else.

I mean, and it's always great because whenever these games happen, they'll do the photo op where the players will be at some attraction or, you know, wearing a weird hat.

You know, they just hate it.

They just hate every second.

And then Roger Goodell said that he thinks that England is able to support not just one, but two franchises.

Oh, wow.

Right now.

So we're going to do the LA model.

It's going to happen in London.

It is going to happen.

And it's going to be the weirdest scheduling.

And they're going to have to have a facility.

Remember, they talked about having a facility in New York that they can be at for long road trips.

Yeah, because they'll put them on the road for like two, three weeks at a time.

Right.

And then every other team gets fucked.

And then you have like a randomly when you have.

You know what they should do?

Is they should have a team in London.

And then when they have to play against like the Rams, they should just play in New York and call it the Jets.

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, that works.

That feels like it would work.

I think that they should take a pre-existing English soccer team, like an EPL team, and then make a football team that's like the cousin of theirs or like the brother, the sibling of that team.

I like that.

What's a good team in London right now, like Manchester United?

Yeah.

Have it really good.

Have it be Manchester United football club.

The Ronaldo scored his 700th penalty goal.

Oh, that's incredible.

Yeah.

Probably never be broken.

I think it was 700th goal overall, but like 650 of them are penalties.

Yeah, it's sad.

Yeah.

Cool.

You won the free throw record, dude.

Awesome.

Okay, let's go to the next game.

Chargers, Browns.

Chargers, 30, Browns 28.

Jacoby Brissett.

I have a fun stat.

The Browns have been leading in the fourth quarter to start the fourth quarter of every single game this year.

Yeah.

And all three of their losses have just been a really sad Jacoby Brissette interception.

Today's was

especially sad.

It was, he telegraphed it to a Chargers player.

It was like shocking even to watch because it was like a double coverage.

He's like, here, just take it.

I'm done with this game.

And yeah, the Browns, like, this is,

we've had our moments where like Jacoby Brissette playing nice ball.

He, he, once he gets extended for more than a couple games, it's like, okay, maybe that's why he's the back.

I think with Brissette, he's a guy that you can confidently say has maximized his abilities.

Like, when he's out on the field,

he doesn't ever look lost.

He doesn't ever look like the game's moving too fast for him.

He's just, he's bumping his head on what his physical limitations are at this point.

He's a perfectly fine backup, I guess.

Yeah, and he's like a slightly above-average backup quarterback.

But I think you touched on it earlier that how the Browns have lost, what, three

games?

Three games.

All three games.

One of them was against the Jets where it was like 20 seconds left.

I'm not going to hold that against him.

him but the falcons game he threw an interception when they were driving well it's not specifically him i think i think that the browns are the chargers yeah the browns have taken the chargers label from the chargers oh their defense is so bad they are the most chargers team in the nfl uh taking that crown from i guess the chargers yes and their defense the browns defense finds a different way every week to just be horrifically bad um and then you watch nick chubb just run through everyone you're like this team rocks this is fun and then they get to crunch time and they're they're leading in the fourth quarter.

And you have to have, it's like having a car that you go on the highway, and it's like, if we go over 80 miles an hour, things are going to start like rattling.

And you don't know what's going to happen.

That's Jacoby Brissette.

Like, if you're playing in the first three quarters, it's nice.

It's fun.

And then when you need that big throw or that big drive, it doesn't, it's not fun anymore.

So that's why teams.

You want to jump out of the car.

That's why teams need to have closers and like setup men.

Like Jacoby Brissette is a he's a great starting pitcher at times, but he can't close a game.

He runs out of gas in the fourth quarter.

He should be on a pitch count, and once they get later on in the game, they put somebody else in a quarterback to close it out.

And I swear to God, Brandon Staley is so aggressive that he needs to be put down for his own good.

Okay, so for those around him.

Yeah, so for anyone who didn't watch the game, the Chargers are up 20 to sorry, 30 to 28.

They have the ball on, what, their own 45, maybe?

Fourth and two with a minute and a half left.

And Brandon Staley goes for it, doesn't get it.

It's crazy, crazy, but I also am fine with it because it's Brandon Staley and he's already told everyone who he is.

And he's like, their offense was humming.

Mike Williams could do whatever he wanted the entire game.

Austin Eckler was just running all over everyone.

And remember in the Chiefs Chargers game, Thursday night football, when he was not being Brandon Staley and he was punting all the time?

I think that's because, you know, everyone was saying, well, his defense is good now.

He doesn't have to do the same thing.

His defense sucks now because he doesn't have Bosa and they've had a ton of injuries.

So he's back to being crazy man, Brandon Staley.

Like, we just got to win the game by going for it all the time.

So, as crazy as it is, he's told you who he is.

Like, it's, you know what I mean?

Like, he's told you what he's going to do.

So, when he does it, you can't be shocked.

I was shocked when he did this one, though.

When he did this one,

when he did this one, and even his own, I think Keenan Allen was on Twitter and was like, what the fuck are we doing?

Like, questioning Brandon Staley's going for it in that fourth down.

Because the game, the Browns weren't playing that well offensively at that point in the game.

Like, obviously, Brissette had not had a great fourth quarter.

They punt the ball downfield and then they have to, how much time was left?

It was like a minute and a half.

It was like a minute and a half.

I think at that point, I would have lived with a longer field.

Like, Brandon Staley's just, he's like a dog that's foaming at the mouth sometimes.

It's like you have to, he needs to have like a second person looking over his shoulder to be like, Brandon, are you sure about this?

Because this, we're getting to the point of just recklessness.

Yeah, it was a minute and 13.

And again, I did not agree with it, but I also sat there being like, Well, it is Brandon Staley.

He's a fucking wild boy.

He's told you he's a wild boy.

He's going to do wild boy shit.

He gets in the gremlin mode and he can see it on the sidelines.

Like, sometimes his offense even knows now, like, when Brandon's really cooking as a gremlin, they start, they don't even walk towards the sideline after third down.

They're like, okay, we're staying out here because we know that he's going to have us go for it no matter what.

Right.

They should actually have like Chris Pontius and Steve-O being on the sideline with him, just wild boys.

Like, hey, watch me go for fourth and two on my own side of the field with one minute left while I have a dick, while I have a snake bite my dick.

Wow, boys.

You're like, okay, yeah, it makes sense because he really is.

He's told you what he's going to do, and then when he does it, you can't be like, what the fuck is this?

I think he's just, he's really into unnecessary risk-taking.

I think he's just got like a kink for just living on the edge.

He's an adrenaline junkie.

Yeah.

And so he's just going to keep pushing the limit further and further.

At some point, he's going to hit rock bottom and go for it on like a fourth and 20.

Yeah.

He's going to be excited.

In the fourth quarter, they'll go.

Oh, he did it last year.

Remember, he did it on his own like 30?

Yeah, he'll go for like fourth and 20 from his own 35

up by six points with like 30 seconds left in the game.

Yeah.

And then at that point, he'll start to recover and truly heal.

Then he'll need to have an intervention with all of his injured players.

Yeah, so Chargers,

the Browns are just basically trying to tread water at this point.

Their defense is so, so bad.

And then they just run the ball down everyone's throat for like three quarters.

And it's always fun to watch because

Nick Chubb makes running the football fun.

He makes it look look easy too yes very easy he looks like he's never exerting himself before every snap he lines up uh in the backfield and he just stands directly straight up in the air like not even ready in an athletic position he's just standing straight up then they hike the ball and then he gets it and then he runs past everybody and then stiff arms three guys and I actually am looking at their schedule right now I don't know if they will be able to tread water because they're playing the Patriots the Ravens the Bengals, the Dolphins, the Bills, and the Bucs.

That feels tough.

That's all before Deshaun gets back, which would be against the Texans in December.

That feels like a

maybe win one or two.

So

you're probably out of it or not out of it.

I don't know, because the Browns, like you said, they can beat every team.

They're not able to close out games.

Can they, though?

Because

I have some bad news.

I think they can get leads.

I have some bad news.

This is a point of the season where we have some data points and we can look back and be like, oh, who have you beaten?

They beaten the Panthers and the Steelers.

Those might might be the two worst teams in the NFL.

They're bad.

They're bad.

Those might be the worst two teams in the NFL.

But who have they gotten leads against?

They've gotten leads against the Jets and the Falcons and the Chargers.

So not

still, like, they might get fucking pounded

by a good team.

They can get it.

When they play the Bills, they're going to get pounded.

Pounded.

Hank just gave a big look.

Looks like the Bengals just took the lead.

Joe Burrow scored a touchdown.

Two minutes left.

Lamar, start running for the Mount Rushmore.

too much time on the clock for Justin Tucker yes too much time on the clock for Justin Tucker and we just need Lamar to just do oh he oh Evan McPherson almost missed wait did he he I that how is that not it went right over it went right over I don't understand how that's it's a virtual doink

yeah it was a virtual doink I guess it counts

anything else on Browns Chargers

not really

the Browns defense is just is abysmal and the charge wild boys oh it was it was a midge game Yeah.

It was a midge game.

We had an attack of the midges today.

The ones that crawled up Java Chamberlain's nose one time in the playoffs.

They were back in full force.

I guess I thought that was going to be a sign to take the under because there's no way you can score points when you have bugs crawling all over you.

Yep.

But for whatever reason, I guess that didn't hold.

That's how bad these defenses are.

They were able to overcome a midge game where the over hit.

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Okay,

let's talk Commanders Titans.

Titans 21, Commanders 17.

PFT, I'll let you just go whichever direction you want to go.

The only real note I had was that Brian Robinson intro was incredible when 50 Cent, for anyone who doesn't know, he got shot like a month ago.

Twice.

Twice.

And he came out to 50 Cent many men.

And that was goosebumps on top of your goosebumps.

No, I mean, that's my big takeaway from today's game: today was something bigger than sports and bigger than whatever the final score happened to be.

Good point.

Because Brian Robinson, I thought, like, when I saw the news just about a month ago i was just thinking about him as a human being yep you know he happens to be an athlete he happens to play for my favorite team i was just hoping that he was going to survive much less be able to walk again much less be able to play football again much less be able to carry the ball for my favorite team in an nfl game so i think first and foremost we just have to say like It was touching.

It was great to see that.

I'm glad that he's healthy.

It's beautiful to see

what sports can kind of be a vehicle for, which is really a human interest story that I had in Brian Robinson.

So I didn't really pay much attention to the rest of the game after that, but I just want to say, like, congratulations to Brian Robinson.

And I think the team did a great job in kind of lifting him up and showcasing, hey, look what amazing feat this person.

Like,

hypothetically, I didn't know what the final score was, but like Derrick Henry, if he had gotten a couple rushing touchdowns or whatever, what's more impressive, rushing for a one-yard touchdown or getting shot twice in your leg and coming back and playing in an NFL game a month later?

It's a fair question.

What's the better athletic feat?

I would say.

Billy, as bro football doc, what has been accomplished more in the history of the NFL?

One-yard touchdown rushes or getting shot twice and then playing in a game later?

Well, one-yard touchdown rushes have been accomplished more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what you're saying.

Like, yeah, this is a

once-in-a-lifetime feat.

The first that I've, like, Ploxico got shot in his leg and went to jail.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Brian Robinson got shot in his leg and went back into the game.

So, I mean, shout out Brian Robinson.

That's really all that I had.

I did get a request to do a straw update.

I do have an update.

Here's

the straw that I cut in half.

I'm throwing that straw away.

Okay.

So no straw.

No, I have the other half of the straw that I cut in half.

Got it.

So I'm down to one straw.

Got it.

Down to one straw.

That's where I'm at with the team.

No, it's actually kind of a cool place where I'm at.

They can't hurt me anymore.

They really can't.

So I'm just looking forward to maybe

we lose all the games for the rest of the season.

Maybe we put Sam Howell in there a little bit, see what we got with him.

And then we look at the draft.

Maybe we get a cool toy for me to play with next year.

Yeah, and Carson had a chance.

He had a chance to be the hero today.

Ended with an interception on the one-yard line.

Okay, so with the interception on the one-yard line, I think that's being kind of the big headline as U Carson Wentz threw an interception from the one-yard line to close the game out.

But we're not talking about the one-yard line.

We're not talking about the fact that he threw three consecutive interceptions on that last possession.

Just the other two happened to land either one out of bounds or the other bounced off the defender's hand.

So there were actually three consecutive interceptions that he threw.

Only the last one was caught, which was as good as a punt.

He was trying as hard as he could to give that game away at the end.

He was.

And he had a couple nice deep balls.

But the Titans, Derrick Henry looked awesome.

Here's a fun stat that makes no sense.

The Titans threw five weeks.

They're three and two.

They have yet to score a point in the fourth quarter.

That is a fun step.

I don't know what's going on there, but they just grind out wins.

We've talked ad nauseum about the Titans.

You can look at the Titans and you can say you don't think it's a good team, and I'd agree with you, and then all they do is win football games.

Well, I think that they're better than you think they are because this game is a game that the Titans would lose last year.

Yeah.

Or even the year before that.

Remember when they lost to the Jets at the Meadowlands when they were undefeated at the time?

This is a game, like, obviously, an inferior opponent on the road.

A lot of people would overlook the commanders, and they should overlook the commanders, we're being honest.

But yeah, the Titans came out and they won, so credit to them.

But again, I think the focus on this game should be that Brian Robinson is healthy and what an amazing story that is.

And the rest of it's just kind of a distraction

on the cake, whatever.

But really, the true story is like, what a tremendous young man this is.

Yeah, Brian Robinson.

Any other notes from this game?

Do you guys, Hank, you were living and dying with this game?

Oh, Lamar's getting loose.

Go, Lamar, Go.

Go, Lamar.

Go, Lamar, go.

That could be it.

We have the Mount Rushmore bet that I hope all AWLs have bet because we did win one week in a row, and Lamar Jackson could have just ripped off the.

He's at 50 exactly.

Don't take a knee.

He's at 50 exactly.

Are they going to have him take a seat?

I just refreshed.

He's at 50 exactly, boys.

Are they going to have him take a knee to set up Tucker?

This is quite something to be live for.

That would fucking suck.

Oh, my God.

He's exactly 50 rushing yards.

I have nothing.

Oh, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, now.

Hey, now.

I have nothing to add to that game.

I was with PFT rooting for the Commanders and the Hungry Dog.

Hard.

Yeah.

Hard.

How did you like being a Commanders fan for an afternoon?

Well, it felt like we had it.

It was like this, you know, easy win.

We're getting the ball on the goal line.

Three chances.

Titans can't score in the fourth quarter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Left hand up.

Who are we?

The Commander.

What a fucking fire song that is, huh?

No, so fire.

I mean, the stands were amped up today.

I felt like this was the one home game that we've had this year that's truly been a home game.

Even the Jaguars fans traveled pretty well up to Land.

I mean, the Brian Robinson moment was incredible.

It was awesome.

And the fact he came out to many men is so great.

Pike is so fucking great.

Yeah.

But yeah,

the Commanders suck, and the Titans are just going to keep winning games.

I don't know how they'll do it, but they'll keep winning games.

Well, I do have

just a quick quote here from Ron Rivera.

If anyone is feeling despondent over the Commanders or feeling like it's time to press the panic button, he says it's not panic time, but there is a sense of urgency.

So we've got that going.

Good.

I get the feeling like this might be a clean house offseason.

Yeah.

I feel like Danya Snyder is at her wit's end and will probably make a move.

I think the rule for like cleaning the entire house is you have to, if you can sit there and be like, have we hit our peak?

And covering the spread against the Bucs in the playoffs was your peak.

That was absolutely.

Like when you can actually say, you can point to it, you're like, that was the peak, and it's been all downhill from that point, that's fire the coach time.

I would say that, like, of the Ron Rivera era, the two best parts have been Alex Smith coming back from a debilitating leg injury and getting into a game, and Brian Robinson coming back from a debilitating leg injury and getting into a game.

And also the covering in the playoffs.

But that's it.

It was very clearly the peak when Trevor Heineke kind of almost beat the Bucs in the super wild card home game that we had in the playoffs.

In the COVID year.

But that really is a great test.

If you're thinking about firing your head coach, just ask yourself, have we hit our peak?

And you can pretty much answer it right away.

Like all the coaches that have been fired in my life, you can actually point like, oh, yeah, yeah.

We knew when the peak happened, and it's been all downhill from that point.

You know that that was the peak.

And I'm looking at big picture here.

The NFC Beast is back.

Yeah, it is.

The Beast is fucking back.

The best division in sports.

16 and 4.

In all of sports, not just football.

The NFC East is the best division in professional, collegiate, international sports.

Better than CONCACAF.

It's the best division there is.

Yep.

Okay.

Lamar, by the way, just got a couple more yards, so I think we just sealed it.

Mount Rushmore is hot.

If I were the Bengals, I would let Lamar score.

Yeah, I would too.

Let Lamar score.

Yeah.

That's two in a row for the boys.

That's two in a row for the boys.

That feels good.

It was nice having a Sunday night one to look forward to.

I wish it was the only bet I made on this game, but it wasn't.

What was the odds on 400?

40-1.

Yep, we're just giving back to the people, Billy.

It's nice.

Okay, let's go to the next game.

Saints, Seahawks, shootout.

Seahawks are

a fun team to watch because they only play in shootouts.

Saints win 39-32.

The Taysom Hill game.

This was officially the Taysom Hill game.

He had four touchdowns, three rushing, one throwing, and he also recovered a punt on a fumble on a punt on special teams.

Like, somewhere, Sean Payton is sitting there in his visor just watching and being like, there goes my boy.

I always knew.

Today's game was no...

There's been no better piece of evidence so far this year that Sean Payton is the ghost head coach of the New Orleans Saints and how they use Taysom Hill today.

I guarantee you, Sean Payton is involved somehow, some way in the preparation for these games.

Because, yeah, it's like Taysom.

We're going to give you an entire dose of Taysom Hill.

I think he concussed like three different linebackers with his own face today.

He would just, you'd look up and it would just be Taysom Hill just ramming through people.

He was incredible.

The Saints got their little bounce back game where they proved because this was a game for the Saints.

Justin Tucker hits the kick.

The Ravens win 19 to 17.

It was Justin Tucker so fucking good.

Yeah.

But yeah, I'll recap that game in a minute.

If you were drafting a team right now,

first rounder?

First rounder, Justin Tucker.

He's fucking good, man.

He's a weapon.

I think I would take Justin Tucker in the first round.

You just have to get the ball in midfield and you have a chance.

It's crazy.

Like automatic three points.

It's crazy.

I would take him in the first round, and then

I would take Daniel Jones in the second round.

Yeah.

And then I'd be set.

And then you just, you just, and Saquon in the fifth, and then you got to.

Oh, yeah, no, the rest of my team would be the Giants, except with Justin Tucker.

Yes, yes.

But yeah, the Seahawks, Saints, it was just fun to watch because

the Saints got right.

Geno Smith, I am actually ready to apologize.

I'm ready to apologize because we did joke about how we're cool with writing off Geno Smith.

He had one good game week one, but now he's put together a few good games in a row, and he was dropping dimes.

Like absolute dimes, like 50-yard dimes.

And that's not the Geno Smith I know.

The Geno Smith I know is not dropping those type of passes.

He was very good, no interceptions,

didn't win, but I'm ready to say my apologies to Geno Smith.

I think it's fair to say at this point that Russell Wilson might have been a system quarterback.

Because Geno Smith, right now, if we're grading who won that trade, Pete Carroll is doing the Monopoly Man strut.

And he's like, yeah, fucking fleece.

The Broncos got fleeced.

He got rid of Russell Wilson.

Like, he was a bad penny.

No pun intended.

But I think that Geno Smith is making the throws that Russ was making.

He's doing the little drop in the buckets to some guy named Lockett that's all the way down the field.

That was Russell's thing that he did for six years in a row.

Geno Smith is making pretty throws right now.

He's scrambling.

He's like climbing in the pocket and he's keeping his eyes downfield and hitting wide open receivers as he's getting close to the line of scrimmage.

Like he is acting.

He's doing a great job being almost like a stunt double version of Russ Wilson.

Yeah,

I'm ready to say that I was wrong.

Like Geno Smith looks,

let's not go all the way for real, but he looks like a better than

replacement level court.

Like, you know, the teams that basically say, oh, we're going to throw this guy out there.

We'll just fucking, you know, see what happens, but we know he's not the guy.

Like, Geno Smith, I think, could play himself into the guy.

Which is crazy to say.

We're not doing this right now.

We're not having

to play himself into it.

I said, play himself into it.

You know what?

I agree.

I think Geno Smith just needs he needs more time.

He can play himself into it.

We don't know what Geno Smith can become if he's

enough time in a system.

Here's my point.

Geno Smith plays like this for the rest of the year.

Next year, he's still the starting quarterback for the Seahawks.

Ooh, I don't know.

He's playing good.

Probably, yeah, because they were.

Probably he's playing good.

My guess is the Seahawks would more than likely draft a quarterback.

Well, if he plays this good for the rest of the year, they'll win enough games that they probably won't be in the top five picks, right?

Maybe.

Right?

They'll probably be right around like five through ten.

Right.

So there might be a quarterback available, maybe one they could trade up for.

I mean, listen, I know that I swing like a pendulum so severely, and it's like one week I'm like, this guy stinks, and the next week I'm like, hey, he could play himself for the guy.

I get that, but that's what sports fandom is.

You got to overreact.

I've seen enough of Geno Smith and his, like, when he was back at West Virginia, some of those games, I was like, there's only one guy on planet Earth that can do that, and that's Geno Smith.

And he was, like, it's the throws he was making.

I was like, damn.

And, and, and the Saints defense is good.

Yeah.

So

just watch it.

He could play himself into

maybe being the starter next year.

That's a better statement.

He's not going to be the guy.

He's never going to be a guy.

Do you think DK is low-key like pumped that Russell Wilson's not around anymore?

Well, remember, guys, Russell Wilson is hurt.

I don't know if you guys saw, but he's hurt.

Yeah,

it got released that he's hurt.

Well, it's not an excuse.

Never saw that happen.

It's not an excuse, but he's hurt.

He's hurt.

He has a partially torn lat.

He's hurt.

Do you see what Matthew Berry said on Thursday, I think?

Matthew Berry said,

I predict that in the next couple days, some news will come out that Russell Wilson's been playing with an injured shoulder.

It was so perfect that he played so, so bad.

And all the reports from the locker room, what was it?

He was sitting in his pads for 40 minutes while Nathaniel Hackett whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

And then I just saw, like, he, it basically was like, bam, bam, like, God has a plan, he tweeted.

And then Russell Wilson's lat is injured.

It's like, he's back.

He's ready.

Like, you guys can't make fun of him.

He's hurt.

Yep.

He's very, very hurt.

But yeah, Saints, Seahawks,

I did say before, like, I thought the Saints, if they win this game,

they're going to be one of those tough teams down the stretch.

I don't know what, like, I don't even know what they're doing now.

Like, Jameis is still hurt.

Andy Dalton's playing, but then Taysom Hill's the only impactful

quarterback they have.

And then, but it doesn't matter.

That's just how the Saints do They're just playing football.

I would actually say that Taysom, if we're going to set up quarterbacks in terms of like a starter, a setup man, and then a closer, Taysom Hill's a pretty good closer.

Yeah, I could see Taysom Hill coming off the bench.

Innings heater, too.

Yeah, to whatever Mormon version of the Narcos trumpet song he wants to have played.

And he could go in and just, boom, you're just going to run the ball right at people.

And then once every like 10 times you hit the ball, you're going to throw it and they won't see it coming.

Boom, first down.

He's just a football player.

He's a football player.

He's a football player.

When you recruit him, it's ATH.

He's an athlete.

And then you just figure it out later.

But the Taysom Hill game did happen.

And yeah, probably two teams going nowhere, but it was still a very fun game.

Very fun game.

Okay, next up, Jets Dolphins.

The Battle of the Couch.

Let's go, boys.

You were there.

Couch divided.

You were there.

I haven't had more fun at a football game than I did today.

It was like the first time in a long time that I was like, I fucking love football.

Really?

Like, like intensely.

Really?

I didn't realize I brought such good vibes to the business.

I like that you guys still got your like jerseys and colors on.

It makes it for a very good visual right now.

Were you saying, man, I love football?

Man, yeah.

I mean, it was such a beautiful day.

It was.

And we just had such, like, it was just so everything was clicking.

Their cheeks were clicking.

Demolished them.

It was like amazing.

This is Billy's version of like a, you know, like Ralph Waldo Emerson when he became like a transcendentalist and was just like completely taken in by nature.

That's what Billy's like.

He's like, I stepped into nature today.

You really went to like you went to MetLife Stadium in the Meadowlands.

Meadowlands.

East Rutherford.

I mean your team basically Walden Pond.

You whomped them.

40 to 17.

It was a whomping.

When was the last time the Jets have whomped a team?

40 to 17.

Like that's a good

thing.

I think they ran out of

fireworks to blow, like, because they were blasting off the cannons behind us.

And I'd never been at a Jets game where they were blasting off that many cannons.

And I think they started only doing a couple of them.

Yeah.

Because I think they ran out of fireworks.

They just didn't have enough.

That's so sad that the Jets.

I mean, I get it.

I'm happy for Billy, but this is like low-key depressing.

The Jets ran out of

cannons.

No, no, no.

I'm happy for you, Billy, and I'm pumped for you because you got to take your football wins where you can get them.

Over 500.

Yeah.

I mean, that's huge.

Beat a divisional rival.

That's huge.

I mean, if the first time you won a division game, I think it was 12-game streak that you lost division games.

Yeah.

So a couple years there.

Patriots on October 30th at MetLife.

Watch out.

That's

Halloween.

Wait, what?

You know what?

What?

You were like, I think that's.

You know what?

What are you guys going to dress as?

Zach Wilson.

Okay, nice.

And you should dress as a MILF, and Billy should get to fuck you after if the Jesuits.

Or a frog.

Or a frog.

Wait, is that that's just a Sunday game?

That's not a a Monday night game I think that's a Sunday oh that would have been great if it's a Monday night game we took a whole PMT field trip to it that would be awesome yeah but it was the perfect game for the Jets yeah if that is if it is a Monday game

no but it was the perfect game for Zach Wilson to like really just get in the driver's seat like you know first game back it was good you know they got the win but this game was sort of just a good like get it going game yeah I went when the last time that the Jets scored 40 points was probably been a while it's probably been a really long time right Probably been a while.

They're over 500 in October.

I mean, it's probably been five years since that's happened.

And I mean, our defense was stellar.

Defense looked good.

You were playing Skylar Thompson.

Teddy Bridgewater, the Dolphins, of course, it happened to the Dolphins that the rule of their mismanagement of Tua and concussions that basically created a new rule where there's a spotter watching, and if you appear at all wobbly, you have to come out of the game.

Teddy Bridgewater gets, it was a safety, he was a tensional grounding in the end zone,

gets sacked, and

the spotter said he appeared wobbly.

He passed all the concussion protocol tests, but because they said he appeared wobbly getting up, that he had to sit out.

Now, this is, by the way, this is so classic NFL because now every single coach is going to teach their players, just stay down for an extra second, get yourself together, and then stand up or have a, have one of your, like, all, you'll, you, I bet you you'll watch anytime a quarterback gets sacked now, and it's a hard hit, there will be a lineman that goes and picks them up and, like, holds them for a second.

You know what I mean?

So they can't wobble, they can't visibly wobble.

So, I think that's what happened with Braxton Berrios, who scored on an end-around, reached out.

I think he landed on the football, but he, you know, took a knee and took some time to get up.

I think he was just, but people were thinking, was that because of this new rule?

It's going to happen because he's going to get up and stumble a little bit and get taken out of the game.

Guys are going to definitely like not milk.

Well, yeah, milk it.

Like, just they're going to be taught to stay down for an extra beat so that they don't have any little bit of wobble because this is

the rule is supposed to be good in theory, but it makes no sense because you have a guy like Teddy Bridgewater, who, I mean, he didn't get hit that hard.

And if he passed all the concussion protocols, but the one arbitrary person sitting upstairs is like, oh, he kind of wobbled a little bit.

I did see the replay, so I can't say whether or not he did actually wobble.

I couldn't find the wobble, but I.

People were demanding the wobble.

Yeah, so they were like, tweet the wobble.

What happens is the NFL is kind of like TSA, where they retroactively adapt things to a rule that was probably pretty blatantly obvious, something that they should have covered beforehand.

But until someone figures out how to exploit a loophole, they don't actually change anything.

Shoes off.

Now it's like

one guy named Richard Reed wore a shoe bomb on a plane, and now we have to fly barefoot for the rest of our lives.

Right.

And that's what's happening right now with the NFL, where it's like, oh, we're going to give you a word that you have to learn now, which is what, like, motor ataxia or something like that.

I think it's it's the word ataxia is what I've seen going around a lot.

It just basically means if you're fucked up, you can't go back in the game.

Right.

Which I think is a good rule to have, right?

But if somebody is able, if somebody is wobbling on their feet, they very clearly just sustained a brain injury, they probably shouldn't go back in the game that day.

Correct.

Now, will they want to go back in the game that day?

Absolutely, they will because they're football players.

And like we said with Tuo, like it means a lot.

He doesn't want to miss time.

He's having a great year.

He could make himself a shitload of money.

He also probably wants to be out there for his teammates and help them win a game because he loves his teammates and and he wants to play football.

But you have to protect him against ourselves.

But now we've reached a point where we've got six guys huddled around the television trying to see if somebody's wobbly or not.

And I don't know what the solution is to all this outside of, I think somebody was suggesting putting the microchip.

It's always a microchip.

Yeah.

That's what you save every time.

That's the solution to everything.

It's like, oh, is that ball to cross the goal line?

Put a microchip in it.

First down, microchip in it.

Is that blood coming out of Daniel Jones' hand?

Put a microchip on every player's wrist in case they bleed too much.

Oh, is there a player sustained brain-damaging head collisions?

Put a microchip in the helmet where they can measure what the impact is.

That's really the only other possible way.

But then at that point, if you go down that route, it's like not every single person's brain is built the same way and their skulls are different, that whole thing.

So just because somebody suffers a brain injury at a certain collision rate doesn't mean the other person's going to.

So there's no, basically what I'm saying is there's no real a long way of saying there's no way to do it.

There's really no way to do it and do it correctly, but I think at some point they'll do the microchip version.

This is what we were talking about with Jeff Bezos.

They need to develop that brain scanner that can tell if your brain's inflamed.

I think that's the only way they're going to be able to do it.

The problem with the wobble test is like, if I had a spotter, I mean,

I sat on the toilet for too long when I was taking a shit this morning.

I wobbled when I got up.

You know what I mean?

Like my legs were a little, you know, they were a little dead.

Like I would have been in the concussion protocol.

You sit on the couch for a little too long.

I'm wobbly when i get up yeah so i there there are there's a lot of wobbles there are other reasons i wobble a lot like mike mcdaniel probably wobbles sometimes too on the side yes right right so there's a there's i just the arbitrary nature of it and if like teddy it didn't seem like that violent of a hit and then they you lose him for the game i think the jets would have won anyway they were they were on fire today um we do need to get jake your

like it sucked for you yeah billy was very classy can't say the same for other jet fans.

Oh, it got ugly.

Did you get harassed?

It got ugly.

Billy did

stand out for Jake.

There were some things that

I didn't think any fan base would do.

What did they do?

Say it.

Jet fans mimicked Tua in the fencing position.

Oh,

they were throwing out gang signs.

They weren't actually mimicking.

Stu Feiner came to the office.

He was doing that up and down the hallway.

I don't know if he's a Jet fan, but yeah.

Well, they were looking at me like, where's Tua?

And then putting their hands up.

That's funny.

What did you say?

That's funny.

Yeah, that's funny.

That is very funny.

What did you say to them, Jake?

It's not funny.

I said you're very classy.

Yeah, wait, no, no.

No, no, Jake.

You got him.

It's not in good taste, but it's objectively funny for people to just thinking they're owning you because someone got a concussion.

Like, it's an absurd thing.

I'm not laughing.

I'm not saying they're funny.

It's like the situation is funny.

It's absurdity.

Think about it.

It's stupid.

Think about it.

One guy gets his brain just absolutely mangled on national television.

And now two weeks later, we got fans from different teams basically making fun of each other and throwing up like a mimic of his concussed hands.

That's absurd.

That is

just the perfect encapsulation of the absurdity of football fandom.

That's what I'm laughing at.

That's funny.

That is funny.

Sickening.

So Billy, what did you say to step in for Jake?

Well, we had to do a little extraction at the end of the game.

Everyone, the Jet fans were getting real.

Billy, you should have been able to get some of the teams.

Billy thinks that he's in Singapore Team Six right now.

Billy's own personal version of Argo.

Yeah.

We had to extract Jake from the situation.

Because we had to get him out of MetLife.

I almost had him take off his

sweatshirt because it was getting the heat was on.

Why didn't you just do the two assigns back?

Be like, hey, we come in peace.

You should have done that.

Imagine if a photo of me doing that kid.

Yeah, that'd be really bad.

But wait, so Jake, tell us the funny.

I saw your tweet.

It was very funny of Billy saying that he's going to be a head coach sometime.

Oh, yeah.

In the first half, Billy's like, you know, maybe I'll get into football coaching one day.

Yeah, you should.

And then in the fourth quarter, he was yelling at me that they should go for two after they scored a touchdown to go put them up by eight.

One extra point would have made it a two-point two-possession game.

Right, but I wanted Daniel Hackett cut conversation.

No, no, but the thing was, in my head, everyone's like, thinking this is so crazy.

Why don't we just go for 10 points?

Because then they can't beat us with a touchdown and a field goal.

because if you they go 4-2 as well

against guy

then they can score a touchdown and tie the game right on one possession yeah so that's why that is right i know if you were only up eight points then they could just tie the game on their next possession no no but they were up so they scored they're up eight points so then if they scored a two-point conversion it would be ten points or nine points right i still think

so if you so again i say i say again if you go for two and you miss it then you're up eight points and then they can tie the game on one score

and one possession.

But we were feeling hot.

Listen, he did something

hot.

That's what it was.

You were saying what type of coach he was going to be.

Maybe he's going to be a Brandon Staley type.

He's going to do wild boy shit.

Yeah, we were feeling hot.

If we were rolling, we should just keep rolling.

Yeah.

Like, you know, it was the vibes in the stadium today were amazing.

Be coaching just on vibes.

Oh, Billy would always coach on vibes.

They would ask him afterwards.

They'd be like, what'd you think, coach?

Be like, listen, I was riding the vibes.

How sick would it be if if billy was a coach on halloween and they did all trick plays like every single

spooky with everybody we would get spooky objectively see that would be awesome yeah like the ghouls are out bro yeah that's some nfl coach that's gonna be fired matt rule if you're not fired yet on halloween just run every trick play yeah just that's that's all you do with your author billy was also signing pregame autographs oh hell yeah billy what were you signing

boobs i don't know they're just like these grown-ass dudes were like sign this i was like what am I supposed to say?

No.

Oh, I also saw that you guys were serving you?

Dan Marino down at the field level.

So

what was that like?

We asked for him to come back on the show, but

we didn't get a comment back.

Oh, he's like, fuck these guys.

No, we were kind of far.

Where was it?

He was.

He was on the field.

We were on the sidelines.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

We tried.

We tried.

Did he look like he was.

I do not think he heard us.

Did he look like he would he have passed a new wobble concussion test?

Too sensitive of a sentence.

Was he looking

jittery?

He looked like he was in a fine situation.

I can't stop thinking of Jets fans throwing up the two assigns at Jake.

I mean, that is so absurd and so fun.

Let's go back to last things on my notes.

Jake being like, that is not right, sir.

That is not classy.

Have some decorum in the fucking 300 level of MetLife Stadium with just drunk NFL fans.

So what do the Dolphins do now?

Because they've got Skylar Thompson, right?

It's tough.

Teddy's probably not coming back.

Maybe he is, maybe he's not next week.

Do they make a call to Fitzy?

I think Chua is going to be back soon.

Yeah, it's a good thing.

I feel like

they're going to be so careful with him.

I understand, but I think he will play soon.

Yeah, he'll play soon.

He was watching that movie, right?

He was watching McGruber.

Magruber.

They watched Magruber on the flight back, and Mike McDaniels said he laughed basically the entire time.

We were close to Mike McDaniels.

I was yelling, McGruber sucks.

Dude, fuck you, bro.

McGruber rocks.

I was just trying to chirp him.

I didn't really.

That's not classy.

Yeah,

I wasn't as classy.

You're a Jet fan.

What you just did to me for insulting McGruber is basically what Jet fans did to Jake.

So it is funny because the Jet fan base, like, they're not good and they've never been good, really.

You know, they had the two AFC championship games.

But that is a scary thought of, like, Jets fans being good.

That's a

good fans at the same time.

Yeah, Jetson fan.

Imagine the way they taunted me is to go three and two in the second week of October.

Could you imagine if they're

like a playoff team?

Yeah, they're going to be.

I don't know what

they want to see.

I don't know what the next step is if that's what the first

karma came to them pretty quickly with the Mets losing tonight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A lot of Jets Mets fans.

Quick, quick last points.

The Jets scored 14 points in 14 seconds.

That's cool.

That's awesome.

Cool, yeah.

Sauce Gardner got his first pick.

He's so good.

He's a beast.

So good.

And then Quinn Williams picked up a fumble and stiff-armed the fuck out of Tyreek Hill.

He didn't even stiff-arm, he just shoved him just sent him sailing through the air and it was like that's your new jersey taxes i wonder bam nice got him nice joke good one billy i like i wonder what percentage the like a win percentage is for a team that gets a safety in a game i feel like it's high i feel like if you get a safety it's a vibes play it really makes you feel like yeah billy knows what i'm fighting three points free points seahawks against paying man against denial

yeah if you get a safety early on in the game you're winning that fucking game yes it boosts your winning percentage by 18.4 percent yeah see that's great.

Considering it's only two points,

it totally, it's a big-time vibes play.

Yeah, but not even numbers-wise, like momentum shift.

Oh, yeah, because you get the ball back.

Then you're going downhill.

Oh, you know what?

I just want to grab one of those chicken wings.

Oh, yeah.

Grab a chicken wing.

Papa John's.

Love it, Billy.

Jerry O'Connell was right.

We should say that too.

Brees Hall.

Monster.

Absolute monster.

I also like, I'm pretty sure Robert Salah

was like, he's been so good.

We got to get him a touchdown, which was kind of cool because he was awesome.

He had 197 total yards, which is quite the day.

Yeah.

I think he was the first Jets.

Actually, I read that.

He was the first Jets running back to have over 100 yards receiving since

Sean Green.

LaDanian Tomlinson.

Oh, shit.

Which is so funny because, like, oh, yeah, he was on the Jets.

Yeah.

He was pretty good on the Jets for a game.

Yeah, he was.

The rookies were quoted on saying, bro, we are so good in the locker room after the game.

You heard that?

or was that?

Was that you that was reported?

That was reported.

You said that.

No, no, on Twitter.

It was reported by, I think, maybe Connor Hughes.

Okay,

but also, you definitely have said that probably nine times today.

Was that actually

a documented blue check mark said, bro, comma.

Let's figure out who the Jets are playing next week.

Oh, they're playing the Packers at Lambea.

Whose line is it anyway?

Do we have a line for that?

That is a seven.

Hammer the Packers.

Seven and a half.

I'd say it's eight.

What is it?

Six.

Oh.

Eight and a half.

I actually bet the Jets minus 14 and a half.

You got to hammer the Packers, though.

If you have guys saying, bro, we're so good in the locker room after the rookies, they're going to be feeling it.

What is it?

What's the line?

Whose line is it anyway?

I'm still looking for this quote.

Oh, okay.

Can we get the line?

Billy might might have gotten ball sacked.

Yeah, we need to.

Because that is an important.

Like, if that quote is real, I'm going to take the Packers next week.

And if it's not.

Seven and a half Packers.

Seven and a half.

Okay.

Wow.

Jets.

Only line.

Okay.

All right.

Bro, we're so good.

Actually, you know what?

They may have not said that.

Okay.

I think I may have said that to myself.

Yes, yeah, you just said it to yourself.

You hallucinated it.

You had like a lucid dream.

Billy quote, bro.

You were in the locker room.

You transported.

transporting career starting yeah yeah no he was just whisper in the uber ride back with jake he was just whispering to himself bro we're so good we're so good bro over and over probably texted it to somebody or somebody texted that to you and you looked at your phone and you're like oh this is what they're saying yeah uh did you guys have fun overall yeah it was a great time all right oh yeah rosenblatt brees hall said the hashtag jets rookies

this is yeah zach rosenblatt looked at each other today and said bro, we're so good.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Good quote.

Next up, Hank.

Patriots.

29, line 0.

Bailey Zappi.

Bailey Zappi.

Played great.

Played great.

Madre Stevenson played great.

Defense played great.

Stopped.

You looked great with the Pat the Patriot.

I do not know why they ever wear anything else.

Me neither.

If they wore those jerseys, they make the playoffs this year.

Yeah.

They looked, I mean, the logo in the center of the field,

the jerseys pop, the helmets pop, Bailey Zappie pops.

I got your swag back?

I think so.

I mean, it was the number one offense in football.

That's true.

And we goosebumps.

But also, no, no, no.

Number one offense in football.

No, hang on.

Factor fiction.

Fact, but I'm also going to pay you a compliment because I think this also stems back to the fact that Bill Belichick completely shut Jared down in the Super Bowl.

That's probably something like Jared knows Belichick owns me, right?

There's probably an element of that.

Like, Belichick's like, I've got, I drew up the perfect game plan to stop this guy.

I own this guy.

I mean, the stats would

lead to you being correct there, unfortunately.

Which is him saying you're correct.

But not saying it.

Right, right.

Yeah, I mean, it was a good game for the pay.

Billy Zappy looked good.

Here's a crazy Belichick stat from this game.

Belichick is now 5-0 with non-first-round QBs making their first start.

The rest of the league is 30-80.

So he just is like, oh, let me find this guy who's

right.

Yeah, it's a challenge.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like going out hooking up with somebody new.

Yeah, 5-0.

Let's see what

we can make happen right here.

Round quarterbacks.

I feel like with the Detroit Lions, they've got some losses that they spin into being like, okay, these are productive losses.

Like some losses that are almost wins.

Week one against the Eagles, they lose by three points.

You can spin yourself into being like,

that's a win of a loss.

This one was a loss of a loss.

This one was bad on all accounts for the Lions.

We like Dan Campbell.

He's funny.

I think the Dan Campbell thing is done.

Whoa, whoa.

I think it's done.

I think it's done.

No.

I think it's done.

I feel like I've seen the same.

And Lions fans can tell me if I'm way off.

I feel like I see the same thing.

You were just saying they're the most fun team in the world.

They are fun.

They're fun, but that doesn't mean the coach is good.

They make self-inflicted errors every week.

They do weird shit.

They were 0 for 6 on fourth downs today, which is the most fourth down attempts without getting a conversion since 1991.

And then Dan Campbell, shout out to Dan Campbell, by the way.

He called all three timeouts

with under three minutes in the game, which was, that's a clown move.

That is.

Down 29-0.

Can't take him with you.

And then he just goes in front of the media and he says, that's on me.

Like,

I'm gutted for these guys.

I made some mistakes.

And then next week, it will just be the same thing.

They should actually let you take your timeouts with you.

Not that you can use them next game, but maybe like you can change them, you can trade them in for like Zach Morris, just timeout life, yeah, or you can like auction them off for charity.

Someone can buy your timeouts after the game's over.

I just feel like Dan Campbell leads the league in just doing dumb shit and then getting in front of the media and just being like, that's on me.

I'm gutted for these guys.

I got to be better as a coach and a man and a father and a son and a friend.

And I'm kind of a human.

And that's on me, man.

Servant of the Lord.

He said this week, I believe we've hit rock bottom.

It's time to get back up.

I don't know.

They might not have hit rock bottom.

Like that.

That was a, that was, there were two games today that was like, oh, it's that old team.

It's the Lions and Jaguars.

Both those games are like, yep, there's still the Lions and Jaguars.

So this is my worry with Dan Campbell: all of his motivational posters around the building that he has are about how to respond to losing.

Like, there's not one, right?

There's not one that he has hung up being like, demand excellence and murder your opponent.

They're all like, the mark of a true winner is he that wipes the mud off his face and gets up from the most painful losses and goes on to fight another day.

Like, that's the mentality that they have in Detroit because they have been losing football for so long.

But it would be nice if you had a coach whose mentality at least expected to win sometimes and wasn't just about being like the best loser.

Right.

And I, maybe, again, maybe I'm way off.

Maybe Lions fans will tell me, no, we're still fully behind Dan Campbell.

I just feel like I've every Sunday is the exact same story of the Lions losing, Dan Campbell doing something weird, and then him saying, That's on me.

I got to be better as a coach.

No, I'm not saying you're wrong at all, but when you were saying that you're done with Dan Campbell, I'm not personally done.

No, no, no, no.

The second they have like a huge emotional win, like, yeah, I will cry right alongside Dan Campbell in his postgame comments.

But yeah, I think probably every single Lions fan is sick of his shit.

I still love Dan Campbell, the man.

Yes.

I still root for him, the man, the coach.

The job might be a little too big for him.

I think most Lions fans right now are definitely sick of his shit.

And I go back to the first press conference that he had when he did the biting of the kneecaps thing.

Yeah.

That really kind of,

there was no biting of the kneecaps in this game.

His whole thing back then, this is another like, we're going to be the toughest losers that you'll ever play.

He's like, yeah, you might knock us down, but on our way up, we're going to bite your kneecaps off.

There was zero kneecap biting in this game.

They got their ass kicked left and right by the New England Patriots.

And I guess maybe the silver lining in this is their defense wasn't that bad.

It wasn't as bad as it has been in the past.

That's true.

Like one of the touchdowns was because Dan Campbell went for it on like fourth and nine, and then Jared fumbled and they returned it for a touchdown.

So all those points weren't on the defense.

Maybe this week in the locker room, like the defense gets to look at the offense and finally have a week where they're like, you're the fuck up this weekend.

Right, not us.

Right.

Like, that's probably got to feel good for them, right?

And it is crazy because, I mean, the Patriots deserve the credit because they shut them down, but the Lions had scored in 11 straight quarters to start the season, 15 out of 16 quarters, and then they got shut out.

I mean,

it was crazy.

You kept on watching it being like, okay, so the Lions.

And DeAndre Swift is out, and Amon Ross, Saint Brown, I think, is on a pitch count.

So there's you could point to a couple injuries, but that doesn't really, that doesn't.

My problem is this was a same old Lions loss.

29-0 is the same old Lions loss, and you felt like you were moving in the right direction, and then you lose as a favorite at home to the Seahawks, and then you lose 29-0 to the Patriots with a first-time starting quarterback.

That feels same old Lions.

That's where I was like, ooh, this might not be good for Dan Campbell right now, because it felt like there was a little bit of progress to start the year, and now it feels like they're back to what's going on with this team.

And your last coach is now the assistant offensive coordinator of a team that just beat you.

Yes.

Although, I wouldn't be shocked if Matt Patricia left some sort of listening devices in the Lions facilities.

Yeah.

That seems like something he would be up to.

Yeah, he had to.

Factor fiction, Hank.

Fiction.

Browns, Bears, Jets, Colts.

Those are the Patriots' next four.

Ooh.

What do you think is a good record out of those four games?

Browns?

Browns.

Where is it?

At the Browns.

Okay.

At the Patriots.

Home against the Bears.

Sunday night football or Thursday night football?

It's Monday night football.

Monday night football.

At the Jets, Met Life.

No disrespect, Bicat.

At home versus the Colts.

Why do they keep putting the Bears in primetime?

Dude, I'm not joking.

I do think there's someone in the NFL offices who is fucking with us.

There's no other explanation for the Commanders and Bears playing Thursday night and then the...

No, but I know obviously the Bears are always going to have primetime games, but you can't tell me it's a little weird that Commanders, Bears play Thursday night and the next Bears game is Bears Patriots Monday night.

That's a little weird.

That's a little weird.

That's all I'm going to say.

That's a little weird.

Okay, so that's a little narcissistic, but it's also a little weird.

It might be narcissistic, but I think that at some point...

It's weird.

At some point, the league office, when they scheduled the Commanders

Bears Thursday night game, had to be like, well, at least the part of my take, guys, we'll talk about about it.

Yeah, they're counting on us to market.

And you know what?

They're right.

Yes.

They're right.

We're fucking sickos.

And all we care about, they can ask us to jump and we'll see how high.

All I'm going to say is when I saw the Bears schedule come out and I saw those two games prime time back to back, I was like, that's weird.

Because the Bears suck.

Oh, and coming off the heels of the couch bowl?

Right, right.

They're fucking with us.

They know what they're doing.

But

say it again.

Say the four games again.

Browns.

When?

Bears?

Just say all four.

I want to hear it.

Browns, Bears, Jets.

Jets, Colts.

If you go 3-1, if you go less than 3-1, then the season is over.

Agreed.

If you go 3-1 or 4, obviously 4-0, but 3-1, I think the Patriots will be fighting for a playoff spot.

I think you might lose to the Colts.

The Colts are so stupid.

They're so weird.

They're so weird.

They're so random.

They're so random.

So random.

Speaking of crazy primetime, the Patriots have four straight primetime games later in the season.

That seems like a...

Well, maybe they'll be there.

It's crazy.

Thankfully, the Bears.

Bailey is playing QB.

The Bears are done with primetime games after the Patriots' Monday football game.

So that's...

Thank God.

And we only have done with that.

I think we only have three more Broncos primetime games to go.

So that's good.

This month.

Yeah.

Yeah, so Bailey Zappi may be a guy.

I feel like Mac's going to come back and they're going to play Mac, and it's going to suck.

That's my opinion.

So you're already done with Mac.

No, but I like Bailey.

I like the new guy.

He's going to have a short leash when he comes back.

Really, if he has a bad half, all the Bailey stands out there are going to be like, let's go.

Let's get Zappi back in.

Do you think that's the way the Patriots just have to win?

They have to just waste, not waste, because Drew Bledsoe was a good quarterback, but use a first-round pick on a quarterback just so they can get the backup guy to then come in and win all the Super Bowls?

Yeah, whatever gets it done.

I mean, and I think Drew Bledsoe and Mac Jones are a little bit different.

Mac Jones is, what, the fifth QB in his draft taken?

Still a stud,

but it's not like he's Baker Mayfield or Justin Fields.

Wait, so Justin Fields wasn't, yeah, I'm confused with your analogies right now.

They were higher, they were top five draft picks.

So are you saying that was not a top five draft pick?

Put it to me in NBA terms.

Baker Mayfield was number one overall pick.

So, where's the Justin Fields slander coming in?

I want to figure out why I'm mad at you personally.

Who is LeBron?

What number draft was Justin Fields coming in?

I think he was 11 or 12.

He wasn't a top guy like Mitch, is what you're really trying to get at.

I apologize for the Justin Fields slander.

He was 11.

Okay, my bad.

I thought he was top 10.

No.

So does it make him a little bit better now?

Yeah.

Okay, thank you.

I don't even know where we got

here.

Yeah, Hank, who's more of a guy, Zappy or Mac?

Today, currently?

Yeah.

As it stands right now.

Zappy Meal or Big Mac?

Give me Zappy Meal.

Yeah.

Wow.

He's your new toy.

That was fast.

That was one week.

I know.

That was one week.

Look how quickly you turned your back on your guy.

He was never my guy.

He was never my guy.

He was never your toy.

i knew when you were talking about mac jones potentially being a guy that you weren't even leaving it 30 like they the that was one of the worst playoff games of all time last year it's like dude justin fields has like like 15 completions this year and i'm like i i still got his back I have nothing against Mac Jones.

I'm just right now.

Flavor of the week is Bailey Zappi.

No, you're not meeting.

You turned your back on Mac Jones.

Mac Jones.

No, I love Mac Jones.

Mac Jones is

a dinner with Mac Jones, and Bailey Zappi walked by with a big ass, and you're like, like, see ya, I'm out.

Did Belchek let Zappi throw it?

Was he like airing out or was it a bad thing?

He was 21.

Yeah.

Okay.

He had a nice touchdown pass.

And his only pick was like

the receiver's fault.

Yeah, so I feel, yeah, I feel like Mac Jones, when he was in, it was kind of just like hiding Mac Jones in the offense.

He was like, he was afraid of Mac Jones.

Yeah, he's afraid of the same.

He was afraid of Zappi.

He was still that vibe with Zappi.

A little bit.

He wasn't downfield.

A little bit, but I feel like it's more relaxed than it was with Mac Jones.

Zappi is a way more exciting last name than Jones.

Yeah, that's a fact.

If they actually, if they switch names, I probably bet.

Yes.

Bailey Zappi was fun to bet on in college because his name is Bailey Zappy.

And you like, even if you lose, you're like, but I bet on Bailey Zappi.

Zappi Roots.

Yeah.

Western Kentucky, right?

Yeah, Western Kentucky.

Lit it up with those silver helmets.

All right.

So, yeah.

Patriots back, Lions.

I'm just saying, I'm rooting for Dan Campbell, but man,

I think it was really with the three three timeouts that I was like, uh-oh, that feels desperate.

29-0?

Well, he's three timeouts to get the ball back.

He's looking to get reps.

He's looking to get a live rep.

You can't practice live reps.

Right.

I bet you his own team kind of rolled their eyes at that one.

And they're like, what are you doing, coach?

We just got our ass kicked.

He's like, no,

we never quit.

He also said that no stone will be unturned this week.

I think he also leads the league in turning over stones.

Yep.

This is something that he says

every single week.

He's, I'm going to look in the mirror.

It starts with me.

It ends with me.

It starts and ends with me.

And I'm going, no stone will be unturned this week.

So he's evaluating whether or not they need to practice longer or practice shorter.

He's going to figure that out.

Whether they should have more pad time or less pad time.

Also, so basically, he has no fucking idea what he's going to do differently this week.

He's just going to try to do something different.

I just searched That's on me in quotes Dan Campbell and 828,000

results.

Yep, that's on me, man.

The first results.

Man, I'm going to figure it out, man.

Dan Campbell saying that's on me isn't enough for the Lions.

Yeah.

So he says that's on me a lot.

It is on him.

Hand up.

That's on me.

It starts and ends with him.

Yep.

So if you got a problem, come see him.

He's a guy, and you know what?

He's going to get it figured out because I'll tell you what, there's nothing that means more to him than getting this thing figured out, man.

Right.

He's going to turn this thing around.

I could actually write such a kick-ass Dan Campbell speech.

It's probably like 30 seconds.

I'd give you 200 words.

It's mad libs of just repeatedly saying that you are the problem, but you're also going to find the solution

by being in, you know, on top of the problem.

Listen, I know how bad I am at this job.

Right.

And so there's no better person to fix all this stuff than the guy that's done all the stuff that's got us in this problem.

He should switch it up and just be like, that's on those guys.

There should be.

But our guys suck.

So, no joke, with Dan Campbell, I think

he does a great job of firing people up, right?

And his team loves him.

They play hard for him.

But in terms of

day-to-day stuff, he's okay.

But tactician stuff on Sundays, they should just have a different coach to coach in the games.

Like have Dan Campbell be on the sidelines like head cheerleader during the games,

director of morale or whatever you want to call him, and then have somebody else that's smarter make all the play calls and in-game adjustments.

And then the team gets turned.

It's like a weekend dad.

Yeah, I was going to say, you know what they call that?

They call that the offensive line coach or the tight end coach or the strength and conditioning coach.

Yeah.

That's perfect.

Yeah.

So

I don't want it to end for Dan Campbell, but this was the first time I was like, those are the same old lines.

Yeah, Dan Campbell is a good, he's like a good day-to-day parent of that team.

But for some fun on the weekends,

bring in the stepdad.

Yeah.

So Lions Fence, tell me if I'm way off, but I feel like I'm closer to the truth, that it's starting to get tiring.

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Okay, so Jake and Hank both left to take poops.

Jake went to take a poop before this recording started, and then he just left again.

This is two poops.

Jake has a problem.

No, you're just trying to be not the poop guy anymore.

I'm glad that's true.

He's calling it as it was quick the first time, but Hank.

I'm calling it as did he not leave the podcast twice.

Well, Hank might have gone home because he's like, we talked about the Patriots.

I'm ready to go home.

True.

Okay, next up, Bills, Steelers.

This was a whomping.

This was a

like early September college football game

one of the bye games when an SEC team brings in a MAC team.

Bills 38, Steelers 3.

I'll start with the Steelers real quick.

Mike Tomlin was asked afterwards if he was satisfied with the effort.

He said, satisfied with the effort, we got smashed.

What are we doing here, man?

So he at least is very much aware how bad his team is.

He also said, eat this.

Don't run from it.

Don't blame it.

Don't try to avoid it by any means.

Sink in it.

Bask in it.

Feel it.

Eat it.

Sleep with it.

Eat this.

They are a very bad football team.

And they missed J.J.

Watt, who silently got like knee surgery.

That doesn't feel good.

TJ, sorry.

Yeah, CJ.

TJ CJ?

CJ Watt.

That's the fourth Watt brother.

What the fuck?

We're at midnight now, so I'm starting to lose.

Shout out to Mitch, though.

Mitch is 1-0 at coin tosses since he got benched because he's still going out there as a captain, which is weird but the steelers they don't they don't change anything i feel like this offense that they're running right now they don't have like a playbook well mac canada is bad yeah they don't have a playbook they have a constitution in pittsburgh and it's been the same way for like the last 15 years it doesn't matter who the coach like cowers offense To me, like when he was a coach of the team, those offenses looked exactly the same, like the same plays that they're running right now, except football has changed a little bit in the last like 15, 20 years.

I feel like the Steelers just don't change how they do things.

No,

it might be time to maybe fire your offensive coordinator because you've now had three quarterbacks in the last, I don't know, 10 games, and the heat map looks exactly the same every single time.

And we thought it was a Ben Rothesberger thing, but Matt Canada's offense is basically

the heat map is just straight lines along the sidelines and then a bunch of passes right along the line of scrimmage.

It's like

it looks like an upright, and that's you'd never even attempt a pass in the middle of the field under any circumstances.

And yeah, the Steelers, they don't do,

they don't do anything well.

Blame Canada.

Yeah.

I like that.

Blame Canada.

Najee Harris just, he's great at one-yard runs.

Yeah.

Our friend Jersey Jerry said that Najee Harris is officially calling him a bust.

Kenny Pickett, I feel bad for Kenny, friend of ours.

That's an unwinnable situation when you're playing behind that offensive line and the defense that is just getting absolutely mauled every game.

So, I don't know.

He had a lot of yards.

I thought that I liked that he got into a fight.

Yeah.

That's good.

So it kind of deflects because this was a whomping, a full-sale whomping, but at least Kenny Pickett tried to punch a guy in the face.

Yeah.

Because that's what the discussion is now.

And his teammates had his back, too.

He got hit late on one play.

Yep.

They were all up to the fifteen.

And their teammates had his back.

You like to see that.

Yep.

So, yeah.

Steelers, very bad.

Might be the worst team in the NFL.

Did you know that the Steelers don't have any wide receiver touchdowns this year?

And they have wide receivers that everyone can name because all we hear about is the Steelers' wide receivers.

Deontay Johnson, George Pickens, Chase Claypool.

What's going on?

Yeah.

Doesn't make sense.

Gabe Davis had the Randy Moss stat line today.

Yeah.

He had three catches for 170 yards.

Only two touchdowns, not three.

But the first, like, this game was over before it started.

It was awesome.

So Josh Allen, 98-yard touchdown pass to Gabe Davis.

Ties the longest touchdown pass in Bills' history.

Do you know who was the other one?

It's very fun.

It's a very fun combo.

Well, last time you asked me if Bill's, it was

Ryan Fitzpatrick, but that's not the answer this time.

This time the answer is Rex Grossman.

I don't think he even played

Kyle Orton.

It was Ryan Fitzpatrick 2.

Oh.

T.O.

No way.

Yeah, that's a fun combo.

That is fun.

Like, that's one of those ones I looked at it.

Normally, I don't really care, and then I was like, oh, yeah, T.O.

was on the Bills.

But Josh Allen was incredible.

I think it was pretty windy there.

And they're just like, Josh Allen has a rocket arm.

Let's just fucking fuck it.

Let's throw it as deep as we can, and he will get it every single time.

They could have, if the Bills had wanted to, they could have easily scored 60 points.

Yeah, they took Josh out of the game.

It's got to be so demoralizing if you're the Steelers.

You have, for once, like a decent defensive possession.

You get him to like third, I think it was like third and eight, third and nine.

They're on their own two-yard line, and then Josh Allen throws the ball 98 yards over the top, and it's a touchdown.

Yeah, and it was a total get-right game for the Bills, who just came off two games where their offense wasn't as explosive against the Dolphins and the Ravens.

And I always give credit to teams like what the Bills did today.

When you play a team that's that bad, like Steelers, you should wamp them.

Like, don't fuck around.

Kick the shit out of them and have your backup finish up the fourth quarter.

Like, that gets points in my book where you don't toy around with these teams that you're so much better than.

For the first time, maybe ever, Mike Tomlin's on the hot seat.

Mediocre Mike Mike is what they're doing.

Mediocre Mike.

They don't like Mike Tomlin in the mediocre Mike.

And they've like Steelers fans have gotten the pitchforks out before for Mike when he's gone like

nine and seven.

He's had a couple of those seasons where they didn't play up to expectations and they're ready to fire him.

He's stuck around because he's obviously good at something or else he wouldn't have

had the record that he's had, but this team stinks.

I think he's a good coach.

I think they're probably the Steelers pride themselves on never changing coaches.

What do they had like five coaches their entire?

Four.

It's crazy.

They've had.

Chuck Nah, Bill Cower.

Let's see.

I'm going to look.

Mike Tomlin.

Yeah, it's.

And he was probably somebody before Chuck.

Yeah.

And that's probably it.

They pride themselves on having that continuity, but there definitely has to be a point where it's just the same old thing, and you've got to change something up.

They got to change the name of the stadium back.

Yeah.

I'm not even going to say the name of the company that it is now.

It's Heinz Field.

It will always be Heinz Field.

If Bain called it Heinz Field, then I'm going to call it Heinz Field.

Okay, so they had some coaches way back in the day,

but in the Super Bowl era, they had Bill Austin for two years, Chuck Noll,

Bill Cower, and Mike Thomas.

That's it.

No one in between.

Chuck Noll and Bill Cower.

From 1969 to 2022, they have had three head coaches.

That's insanity.

It's better than being a Supreme Court justice.

It's crazy.

I'm shocked that Jeffrey Federal hasn't figured that away.

Who do you think's up next?

Because I think they will fire, or at least, I think they'll fire Mike Tomlin if they don't go 500.

Well, they won't fire him.

They'll let him retire.

Or they'll let him move into the front office.

Yeah, he'll retire because they treat him well.

He'll retire, and then he'll be like coaching another team.

Because remember, Bill Cower, he flirted with it for a long time.

I think he still does every now and then.

He'll retire, and then he'll come back somewhere else, like five years from now.

Because he's young, and he's a good coach.

It's like there's always in the offseason one private jet that is landing Raleigh-Durham airport, and then people are always saying that's Bill Coward.

That's where he lives, right?

Right.

So, um,

yeah, the Steelers are very, very bad, and the Bills are very, very good, and Josh Allen is awesome.

He was

the third fastest quarterback to get to 150 touchdowns, only behind Marino and Mahomes.

Pretty good company.

Good list.

So, Marino, it took, or sorry, Mahomes, it it took 60 games.

Marino took 61 games.

Josh Allen took 66 games to go at 150 touchdowns.

He is so fucking good.

Yep.

And I love him so much.

Also, a little fun fact.

The two coaches used to play on the same college football team together in this game.

Mike Tomlin and Sean McDermott played at

William and Mary together for, I think, one season.

And would they say that Sean McDermott tackled Mike Tomlin a few times or something like that?

They didn't really overlap that much, but they tried to make it seem like they had a rivalry there.

Yeah, I wish they had.

The only complaint I have with this game, other than it not hitting the over, is I wish they had tried to go for the passing yards in a single game record.

Because Josh Allen had 348 yards at half, and the record is Norm Van Brocklin with 554 yards in 1951.

Crazy that it lasted that long.

I'm always shocked when I hear that stat because I'm like, certainly Patrick Mahomes has thrown for like 600 yards in the game.

Right.

But the thing is, get usually a player will get taken out of a game, like Josh Allen got taken out of this one.

He probably could have gotten 600 yards today.

Who do you think is number two?

Norm Van Brockland was number one.

Yeah.

I think it's Norm Van Brockland number two, also.

I think he had that hell of a season.

Matt Schaub.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

I just looked it up.

I mean, I'm not, I didn't know it.

It's not trivia that I knew.

Matt Schaub in a 43-37 win against the Jaguars.

Yeah.

What was that?

2012.

Yeah.

That's fucking awesome that Matt Schaub, what a legend.

Yeah.

Matt Schaub, number two all time.

He had a great season.

He's number one in the Super Bowl era.

He's tied with Warren Moon.

Warren Moon also had 527.

So Warren Moon and Matt Schaub tied for the record in the Super Bowl era.

But I just, that's one of those games.

Like, it was 348 yards in the first half.

You don't even, just call like a couple more deep bombs in the second half.

So you'd probably break it.

If you're up 38 to three, just go

four verts every time and just basically run a Hail Mary every pass.

Yes.

Just try to get the record.

Why not?

Get the record.

Okay.

Next up, Vikings, Bears.

Vikings 29, Bears 22.

I don't really have anything to say other than like Justin Fields played pretty well and he had a chance to maybe win the game with a drive at the end, but it fucking, what's his name?

Marcette was trying to get a couple extra yards and just

careless with the football.

I don't know.

The Bears were down 21-3.

It felt like it was, we blinked and they were down 21-3.

Kirk Cousins was on fire to start.

Justin Jefferson is

the best receiver in the NFL.

He's so fucking good.

And I was happy the Bears fought back.

They showed fight.

Well, they stole this win from Justin Fields.

His own team did.

Yes.

It was nice because I thought

he played well enough to win, and he made some cool throws and had a couple nice scrambles.

And Marcette had, yeah, Marcette had the block in the back that called back Justin Fields like 40-yard touchdown run, and then he fumbled.

And he used to play for the Vikings.

So some are saying maybe he was a spy, not me, but it is fucked up.

But yeah, I I don't know.

I didn't expect to win the game.

I wanted us to be competitive.

I thought it was one of those games where the game started and I was like, oh no, it's gonna be one of those days.

So the fact that they fought back into it and Justin Fields looked okay and like his receivers were kind of letting him down here and there like with drops.

I walked away being like, okay, I didn't expect to win it anyway, and he looked better than he has pretty much the entire season.

This is also the first time since the start of the London Games where the winning team from the London game has come back and won the following week in America.

Oh,

first time ever?

First time ever.

So it has happened where there's been a buy because sometimes you get a buy

after coming back.

But if they don't take the buy, they always lose that next game.

So the Saints and the Vikings both.

Saints and the Vikings both won.

Yes.

Right.

Yes.

Yeah, they both did it without a buy.

Yep.

That's impressive.

That's really nice.

I feel like.

No, no, no, no, no.

Sorry.

The team that won the London game

comes back.

They never win

the following week unless there's a buy in between.

Then they win that game.

I feel like until like a year or two ago, there was always a mandatory buy in between.

No,

you can choose whether or not to take a Vikings say no.

No.

Interesting.

Yeah.

That is interesting.

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

A little quirk in the schedule.

Yeah.

But that was

by far Justin Field's best game.

He had 15 completions.

That's a lot.

That's a lot of completions.

Are the Vikings the kings of ugly wins?

Yeah, I still don't believe in them.

I think, like I said, Justin Jefferson's the best receiver in the NFL, and Kirk Cousins, we all have, we've talked about him ad nauseum.

But, yeah,

I feel like there's something to be said

for being able to win ugly, though.

Yeah.

And they certainly are.

But one thing that you can say about the Vikings this year, they've won some games where it's like how, how and why.

But it's not ugly.

Like, we'll get to the Eagles game.

That was a winning ugly.

The Vikings win ugly by letting the other team get back in the game or like starting so slow that you're like, what's going on?

Self-inflicted ugly wins.

Yeah, it's it's it's not like a one, oh, this is going to be just a hard game to win.

We've got to find a way to like scratch and claw.

It's like the Vikings are always in games where they're up to a big lead and then they let the team back, or they just shoot themselves in the foot in the first half and they come back.

So, yeah, it is self-inflicted, ugly wins.

Yeah, but I was, I'm ha, we don't do participation trophies, but I'm happy the Bears participated today.

They did a good job.

And also, I tried really hard, and I walked away not feeling so bad about myself in the fact that all my happiness is tied to Justin Fields, the quarterback.

Yeah, and also, just put in perspective, like Brian Robinson got shot two weeks ago.

Yeah, true.

Some things are better and more important than winning a sports ball game.

Again, if you're talking about what is expected from Justin Fields, what's more impressive?

Josh Allen throwing for what, 348 yards in the first half?

Or Justin Fields having 15 completions?

That's four more than any other game he's had this year.

That's almost double than the other three games.

That's almost doubled his lateral completions from last week.

Last week.

His completions so far this season are 8, 7, 8, 11, and then today he went off.

I don't think it's 15.

It's not possible for Josh Allen to double his completions

week over week.

15 is a monster game for my guy.

You guys both lost, but it seems like the Bears, you're riding high and the Commanders, you're riding low coming

matchup on Thursday.

I'm not high.

Not yet.

I'm definitely not riding high.

No one's high.

You got rid of your straw.

No one's high.

No, but I have one more.

I cut my straw in half.

Hank, I cut my straw in half, and then I threw away my half straw, but now I have the other half for my straw.

So I have one straw left.

PFT has a clown car of straws.

I know.

They just keep coming out of the car.

I got one straw.

Are you okay, Hank?

Yeah.

I feel like you've been sick for three weeks.

A couple weeks.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I think I don't know.

It's gross when you talk.

It is kind of gross.

I know.

And also

I'm saying what everyone is thinking.

Yeah, no, that's fine.

That's fair.

And also the sound that it makes when you talk, too.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get it.

I get it.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you, though.

And the words.

That's what, yeah.

Yeah.

All right, I just won't.

No, no, let's keep talking about it.

I like what Hank's trying to do.

Hank gets one win against the Detroit Lions, and he's back to his old, like, you think that you're still riding high off six consecutive Super Bowls right now.

You're like, oh, look at the little commanders.

Did you hear my speech with

Justin Fields, 15 completions.

That's loyalty.

You're already fucking Billy Zappi on the side.

It happened like that.

You wish you had Billy Zappi on the Bears.

I do kind of wish I had Billy Zappi.

No, I'm not riding high.

I'm riding

baby steps.

It's baby steps time.

Not going to win a lot of games.

Try to show some growth.

Baby steps.

I think this Thursday, America is in for a treat.

It's going to be better than last week.

I guarantee that

I guarantee that it's better than way better.

Carson Wentz will have three 60-yard completions and probably two fumble sixes.

All right, ready for this?

Record this.

Turn on the cameras.

Justin Fields is going to have 17 completions plus.

Damn.

That's an insane game.

Let's check out the odds on that.

17 with the overall?

17 plus.

Wait, are you counting interceptions as completions?

Yes.

Yeah.

Half to.

Obviously.

Have to.

And fumbles.

Lost.

I think Carson Wentz is going to have

two fumbles lost where nobody touches him.

I like it.

That's what I think.

I like it.

Like, just doing the thing that he does where he looks like a cat when you throw a firecracker into the room and just panics and throws the ball backwards out of just sheer terror.

Yeah, and just so everyone knows, like, the Colts-Broncos game sucked because the offenses sucked, but the defenses were also good.

Both of our defenses suck.

So we're going to have fun.

It's going to be fun.

Yep.

All right, next game.

One fun thing that happened at the end of the commanders game I forgot to address.

Montez Sweat couldn't play in the game.

Our best defensive line.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe him and Jonathan Allen.

Montez Sweat, great player, couldn't play for the last snap of the game because he had already done an autographed jersey swap at midfield with a player on the Jaguars, so he didn't have his jersey anymore, so he couldn't get into the game.

I thought that was awesome.

Yes, that was a very fun moment.

Yeah, not the Jaguars, obviously, but the point still stands.

Yeah.

Okay, next up, Bucs, 21, Falcons, 15.

Oh, man, did the Falcons get fucked.

That roughing the passer call sucked.

Do you think that was the worst call in NFL history?

I feel like we've had that.

I think it might be the worst call in NFL history.

I think we've had that, though, so many times.

Like, there's one roughing the passer call a year, usually on Tom Brady

that is like,

how is this possible?

This is why you sign Will Compton if you're the Falcons, because Will Compton is not strong enough to ever look like he's assaulting a quarterback.

So you're never going to get the violent calls.

Yes.

Jerome Boger was asked afterwards his explanation.

He said, what I had was the defender grabbed the QB while he was still in the pocket and unnecessarily throwing him to the ground.

That is what I was making my decision based upon.

So just tackling shouldn't happen anymore.

Yeah.

How can you see that and say that wasn't just a routine sack?

Well, Big Cat, spot the lie.

Like, Jerome Boger just officially described what playing defense is.

Right.

And tackling.

He's definitely.

And said out loud that this is against the rules because, did you see he grabbed him and tried to throw him onto the ground?

It was crazy.

It was absolutely crazy.

Falcons fans have every right to be pissed.

Bucs fans, Stephen Shea being like, well, the play before him was a fucking pass interference.

Shut the fuck up.

That was roughing the passer call was the worst call I've seen in a very long time.

It was bad.

It was a very, very bad call.

Tom Brady does get those calls because he looks so frail sometimes in his old age.

The Bucs looked pretty good, though.

They looked okay.

Their defense isn't what we thought it was earlier.

They should have fucking jammed the ball down the Falcons' throats.

Corderelle Patterson wasn't playing today.

And if you're going to act like you're a top three rush defense in the NFL, you need to shut them down.

It should have been a thorough ass kicking.

And it was.

They just kind of let him back into it, which that is just what the Falcons do.

They're now 5-0 against the spread.

When they're dead, they're not.

It was 21-0, like, in the third quarter, and then it's like, oh, the Falcons scored.

That's cool.

You think Calvin Ridley scored again?

Calvin Ridley's betting on these games?

Making bank in the offset.

Yeah.

He's basically making what he's losing in paychecks.

Yeah, he's like, I know exactly where I'm putting my money this weekend.

No,

the Bucs basically carved up the Falcons for the first half, three quarters.

And then, yeah, the Falcons snuck back in the back door and could have won the game if it weren't for that call.

Tom Brady now 11-0 against the Falcons.

Ready for crazy Tom Brady stat, which he just accrues all of them.

This one is wild just because I never even thought of this as a stat.

Tom Brady today had more than 50 pass attempts.

He now has 23 wins, both regular season and playoffs, in which he has attempted more than 50 passes.

That's crazy.

The next QB with

in terms of most wins when attempting 50 passes or more has five.

23 to 5.

And so I looked it up and I was like,

that doesn't mean anything.

I'm just curious, right?

Tom Brady's 23 and 12 when pass when over 50 pass attempts.

Peyton's 4 and 13.

Rodgers is 3 and 6.

Breeze is 4 and 15.

Rothelsberger 4 and 11.

Marino 5 and 11.

Basically, everyone sucks when they have to pass over 50 times.

Tom Brady is 23 and 12 when he has to pass over 50 times.

That's so stupid.

That is crazy.

The next best is five.

Warren Moon has five.

It is crazy.

Tom Brady has 23.

Because at the end of games, Belichick would always use Tom Brady as an extension of the running game because he was going to make the smart decision, throw a short pass, get a quick completion, keep the chains moving.

It was basically as secure as a handoff would be to have Tom Brady throw like a seven-yard out.

And you'd think like, oh, okay, yeah, this stat makes sense.

If you ask your quarterback to do that much, it's probably because you're behind.

It's probably because you're struggling.

No, he wouldn't do that.

23 wins.

Here's another crazy stat, another Tom Brady wild stat.

Hank, you will appreciate this.

How many years do you think that it's been since Tom Brady lost three games in a row?

Wait, are you trolling us?

I'm going to guess 2002.

Yeah, you got it.

Good job, Hank.

Good job.

Were you trolling us?

Yeah, I was trolling you.

Okay.

Or were you, did you forget we talked about it on Friday?

No, I forgot that we talked about it on Friday.

Yeah, I was going to say you were going to do your parody law where everyone knew PFT is a genius, but like that was

crazy stat.

I am crazy stat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you are a genius.

That was the joke.

Yes.

That you were joking because we already had said it, but you were on top of it.

It's meta.

It's meta shit, guys.

I don't forget.

I don't remember what we talked about like five minutes ago on the show.

That was why actually Hank switched his pick.

Yeah.

And he got fucked.

That's right.

Yeah.

The trip

stat.

Yeah.

And he switched it.

So sorry, Hank.

Sorry.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I forgive you.

Maybe give me a few more words.

Billy, do you know when I'm not speaking?

No, I'm not speaking.

Billy, when was the last time Tom Brady lost three games in a row?

2002.

Okay, yeah, I did one.

But I didn't hear it the Friday episode, so I actually enjoyed that.

Oh, yeah, because you weren't here.

I was saying it for Billy.

You were saying it for Billy.

But yeah, Billy, how did you crazy?

How did you like Fantasy Billies?

It was hilarious.

You guys really hit the nail on the head.

Yep.

Sick win, bro.

We're so sick, bro.

We're so sick, bro.

The only other thing I had on this game is I was just, it was a thought that popped in my head.

I think we talked about it on the gambling cave, but Leonard Fournette, like, there's never been a player recently who has changed his reputation so much from the Jaguars, he's a bust, Jaguars fans didn't like him, and his numbers weren't even that bad with the Jaguars to he is now like Tom Brady's most trusted teammate.

He just dump-offs all the time, gets the hard yards, has a Super Bowl ring, playoff Lenny.

He's the man, and he promised us touchdowns, and he scored touchdowns.

I'm pretty sure I remember like two years ago when Mitch was bad, you were convincing yourself, well, at least he's not the biggest bust in the first game.

You're like, Leonard Fournette was bad on the Jaguars.

I have to go back to Solomon Thomas.

That was the worst pick in that draft, obviously.

So you can just change.

I did try to do that, and I was...

Yeah, he's completely changed his narrative on his career.

I've still

forgiven Leonard Fournette for the whole like Blake Bootles has bad breath thing yeah i thought that was a little bit out of balance that was that was messed up but it's it's just a great lesson that we will not actually

uh

like embrace the lesson but i'm just gonna say it anyway that so much of sports and a guy's career is time and place yeah which of course again we're not gonna actually use this lesson that I've just said out loud and and use it for like future players that were like that guy's a bust we're gonna say it we're just gonna keep saying he's a bust but in this one moment of clarity, it's like, oh, yeah, you forget how much time and place changed the complete trajectory of a guy's career.

Yeah.

And so, like, in Leonard Fournette's case, he went to Jacksonville.

That offense they were running.

Like, Jacksonville as a franchise, zero stability, not a history of winning anything.

Very easy to say, oh, this guy sucks.

And then who knows, like a couple years later, he goes somewhere else and he's actually a good player.

So let's go to the Jaguars game.

Trevor Lawrence is a bust.

Yes, huge bust.

Bust.

He is a fucking bust.

The Jaguars.

Trevor Lawrence stinks.

Okay, so Texans 13, Jaguars 6.

The whole time I was watching this game, I was just mumbling to myself: anytime I ever get excited about the Jaguars, someone needs to just fucking come and like punch me in the eye because they are the Jaguars.

That was such a Jaguars game.

They actually dominated the Texans.

They've lost nine in a row to this.

Yeah, nine in a row.

They've been to an AFC championship game more recently than beating the Texans in the regular season.

It's crazy.

I don't even know what's like they just

are such a frustrating team.

I still think that the Jaguars are better this year than they were last year.

Yes, dude.

They're miles better than they were.

Trevor Lawrence, probably not a bust, but he made some bust adjacent throws today.

No, every time he would just throw it either a miss.

Basically, his two throws are overthrow a guy down the sideline or try to missle it in and then have a Texans cornerback reach up their hand and block it.

And that was it.

And it was, they moved the ball.

They had 422 yards.

They scored six points.

That's hard to do.

That's really, really hard to do when you think about like a football game, how many possessions happen in an NFL game, and being able to move for 422 yards and only get six points out of it.

Yeah.

That's very hard to do.

Takes skill.

Shout out Damian Pierce.

Yeah.

I think Damian Pierce, PFT's official eyeball player of the preseason.

Beast.

I think if you were to do a poll right now and say who is the offensive rookie of the year, Damian Pierce might win.

He's had a good season.

I'm trying to think there's a receiver.

No, what about Drake London?

Drake London's been okay.

Jahan Dotson has a few touchdowns.

I'm not up to date on my rookie of the years and how they're going.

I think Damian Pierce.

Because you caught me in a ⁇ I don't have enough news.

You're not prepared for that conversation yet.

I'll take your word for it.

I'm prepared for it just because I want to seem smart by identifying Damian Pierce as a a potential rookie of the year guy.

I think he's, you know what he is, big cat?

He's in the conversation.

Dude,

he broke,

he caused 13 missed tackles today.

Yeah, he's a monster, which is the most this year by any player.

Just running through people.

He absolutely, that last run when he, Chaps, our good friend, who's going to be on Wednesday's show for Rose, get in your roast on the iTunes subscribe, leave a roast, we'll read it.

Chaps was like, thank God he didn't score because it just would have been like the, it would have been a mini Marshawn Lynch in Seattle

touchdown.

Because

he was just ripping through, guys.

They could not tackle him.

Yeah, he's a monster.

This was, I mean, it's a good time.

As we identified.

Oh, Garrett Wilson and Chris Olave, too.

Yeah,

Olave is okay.

He's in the conversation.

He's absolutely in the conversation.

Absolutely.

And also...

Like weeks one and two, it was Rex Burkhead getting either half or over half the touches.

And now, finally, Lovey's like, okay, Damian.

Probably because when we interviewed Lovey, we told him to give the ball to Damian Pierce more.

Yeah.

He's probably like, those podcast guys know what they're talking about.

That's one of those things, though, that we, whenever we make a declarative statement, then the

fans of each player or team will be like, how could you guys forget Chris Olave?

How could you forget Garrett Wilson?

How could you forget Traylon Burks?

Like, okay, so here's me remembering him, so you don't have to tweet us.

Okay,

I do think that Damian Pierce is going to get better as the season goes on.

Agreed.

I think he's going to get more touches.

And he's just a beast.

He's fun to watch.

And if you're a Texans fan, this is a great time to be a Texans fan.

You don't even have to watch the games if you don't want to.

This year, really, you can probably take the rest of the year off.

You know, check in here and there.

Don't win too many games, though.

This was such a lovely game.

Oh, they're not going to win too many games.

Don't worry.

They do not have to worry about winning too many games.

They're going to win at least one more game.

Against the Jaguars.

Yeah, they're going to beat the Jaguars.

They're probably going to get another tie.

They're probably going to tie the Colts again, beat the Jaguars, end up, what would that be?

Two,

13, and two?

Sounds right.

Is that right?

Sounds right.

And then they're going to end up getting in a position where they can draft a good quarterback.

You have cap space out the asshole.

You got picks spend on.

You got picks all day.

The next five years of being a Texans fan will be fun.

Yeah.

And shout out Lovey for just Lovey balling the fuck out of the Jaguars.

He was just like, I'm going to punt until you guys make a mistake.

He punted from

fourth and one from Jacksonville 49.

I love that.

Like he was like,

I don't trust Trevor Lawrence.

I'm going to punt it back to you and see what you guys do.

And it actually just played out that way, where it was like, he just kept on punting, and then Trevor Lawrence would make a mistake or I think they had a couple fumbles.

And then finally, they're like, all right, we got to have one drive where we score.

They scored.

Now it was game over.

That was it.

And Trayvon Walker,

that penalty was stupid.

That was, I don't know if you saw, but

they blew the play dead.

It was off sides.

And he came and just fucking smashed Davis Mills.

Like, it would have been unnecessary roughness if the play had been alive, and it wasn't.

It was everyone had stopped running, and he just like body slammed him, and they were just like, okay, why would you do that, dude?

I'm looking it up right now to see if I can find it.

It was a very bad penalty.

Lovey Smith's comment on the personal foul on Trayvon Walker.

They have rules.

Yeah.

No, it was one of those.

What are you doing?

I think they were just frustrated because they should have been winning the game.

Their offense had 422 yards and couldn't score.

Didn't Trayvon Walker also had a roughing to pass or penalty in his very first play of his very first game?

He might have.

I mean, he's a good player, but that was one of those ones.

I don't want to say it cost him the game, but it was third and 20.

And so they would have gotten the ball back.

It was a tie game, and he had it happen.

And then, yeah.

Things didn't really work out here.

I got it for if you want it.

There we go.

So it was very dead.

Oh, my god.

Yeah.

And then you just chokeslammed it.

And there's a lot of neck to choke slam him with with Davis Mills.

Well, it's kind of like entrapment, isn't it?

Yeah.

If you're going after him.

Like, where else was I slowing down?

Stephen A.

Smith.

The provocation was there.

Yes, exactly.

Yes.

His neck was just sitting there, and no one was playing.

Like, saber metrically,

if I try to punch Davis Mills anywhere on his body, chances are it's like 70% of the earth is covered with water.

Yeah.

Like 70% of Davis Mills is covered in neck.

Yeah.

I'm going to hit a neck.

You're going to hit a neck.

Okay, let's do the last three games before we do that.

Patsy, you got a couple ads for us and then we'll wrap up.

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Okay.

49ers Panthers, absolute ass kicking.

This was another one with the Bills and the Patriots game.

Matt Ruhl.

The streak is over.

Yeah, the streak is over.

Most impressive streak in sports.

So remind people what it is.

The Carolina Panthers had not given up a touchdown on the opening drive in 21 straight games.

22 streak games, which is crazy.

But we have a new streak, and that is the one we have alluded to as well.

Matt Rule and the Carolina Panthers are now 25 games in a row where they have not won if their opponent scores over 17 points.

One in 27 all-time as the Carolina Panthers head coach.

He's 11 and 27 as the head coach.

He's probably done soon.

So I think Tepper made some comments.

I don't know if this is Florio just stirring the pot.

I don't think Florio would ever do that.

Nope.

But he makes it seem like Matt Rule could be fired as early as tomorrow.

Right.

And this was a firing type of loss because they've been building to it.

I feel like the Panthers have been like.

You have to have a signature loss like that to really motivate your owner to fire you.

Right.

And they've been crescendoing crescendoing to that loss and this one the the niners like they did it all they were like oh here's a long drive here's a pick six here's like you know we'll just do it all we'll do it all in your face we'll run it down your throat jeff wilson will run it down your throat then we'll pass it and then we'll sack baker mayfield and every carolina panthers game looks exactly the same where it's just run the ball in first down for nothing usually incomplete pass on second down that's like, I don't know, 10 yards down the field.

And then third down, it's a dump off to Christian McCaffrey, and he basically has to make a play with five defenders surrounding him.

And then his hamstring falls off.

Yeah, that's the end of it.

Yeah, you just look up to a Panthers game.

It's like, oh, there's Christian McCaffrey with five guys about to fucking just absolutely destroy him.

And he's got six more yards he's got to get.

Yeah.

And then he gets it sometimes.

It's sad.

It's sad to watch.

Baker is now in a walking boot, so he might not play next week.

I don't think we know what the injury is.

But PJ Walker time.

PJ Walker time because I think Sam Darnold is still on the men men from being Sam Darnold.

So PJ Walker, who's not bad.

I don't think he's a bad quarterback.

He's not good, but he's definitely not like the worst backup quarterback to have.

So he'll get in, but it might also be a case where they're going to fire Matt Rule, and then Matt Ruhl can have his pick of the litter between Nebraska, Colorado.

I don't know.

It's getting so bad at him.

But he's a good college coach.

I know, but

you can always go back once.

But I don't know if he can go.

I think he might have to go back a step.

Auburn?

Auburn fans would be really mad about that.

Also, Brian Larson's fired.

Yeah.

Yeah, but he'll have to probably go back a step to go to a big boy school.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm way off.

Maybe everyone's going to be lining up, but this is now getting, it's getting so bad that Tepper actually, and I think it's mutually beneficial because if they fire him now and a college team hires him, the buyout's left.

Buyouts less.

So

you got to get that figured out right now because Matt Rule can't sustain more blowout losses.

This think is piling on him.

Get that buyout lesk.

Let him get a job in college.

End this relationship.

It is bad.

I was going through the list of coaches on the Carolina Panthers because you always have to identify who are we looking at for an interim coach.

Can we win a game?

There are two guys that jump off the page to me.

Give them to me.

One is not an interim guy whatsoever, but he might get the gig.

Ben McAdoo.

Oh, yeah.

So

I want to see McAdoo back as a a head coach patrolling the sidelines with his grease-back hair and his sunglasses.

In his suit that's seven sizes too big.

Yeah, dude, you remember the snowpants suit that he wore that one time?

He looked like he borrowed his.

Yeah, you looked like he borrowed his dad's suit for his first day at work.

And I still choose to believe that for whatever reason, the door to his office that he had at the Meadowlands was like 30% the size of an.

He had a weird tiny door that people had to crawl through to get into his office.

Stuart Smalley or whatever.

Stuart Little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so just for the comedic value, I would like to see Ben McAdoo and his

whole look of him like he has $60,000 worth of toy train sets in his garage.

Fastest two minutes as well.

Yes, exactly.

That would be nice.

It would be easy.

And then Steve Wilkes

is also former head coach of the

Cardinals for like one season.

Yeah, that was a real

blip on the radar.

Yeah, they fucked him, I feel like.

Yeah, he got fucked.

Yeah, I think he got fucked.

He got fucked hard.

Yeah, because they were like, oh, Cliff Kingsbury.

Yeah.

So it's probably going to be one of the two of those guys.

I hope it's McAdoo if those are the two choices just for the comedic value.

Here's a stat that really makes me mad because I wish we were just kind of doing this all along.

The Carolina Panthers since October 1st, 2021 are 3-16 against the spread.

They're not only bad, they're bad.

They're bad in every metric.

They're bad in real life.

They're bad in gambling life.

They're bad when a team scores, when a team just gets to 17 points, they immediately just hit the lose button.

They are just so bad.

Got to end it.

They just make you feel bad

watching them.

And it sucks, too, because

their uniforms are still cool.

Yeah.

And it's like such a waste.

They are.

Yeah.

Like

when they play against the Cardinals, which seems like a weird matchup, awesome.

Awesome seeing those two teams on the field, even though it's a bummer to watch them play and the game itself isn't cool.

Seeing those two uniforms going at each other, fun.

Seeing the 49ers play against the Panthers.

Yeah.

Aesthetically, it looks cool if you ignore the complete contents of the game.

Yeah, and this should have been like the ultimate trap game for the 49ers.

They're coming off a Monday night football game, short week, going all the way across the country,

and it wasn't even close to it.

It was over.

I mean,

it was over before half because they got 17 and a half.

So, yeah, it was over that.

The 49ers, is it time for us to be talking about how Jimmy G is just a winner?

Dude, he wins.

I mean, he wins football.

I thought the minute he came in, I was like, the 49ers are definitely a Super Bowl contender now.

Yeah.

Like their defense is awesome.

Dude, he beat the Rams.

Jimmy G got that win.

He beat the Panthers.

That's another win for James G.

D'Amiko Ryan's going to be a head coach next year, and he's going to be a good hook.

Yeah.

I like D'Amico Ryans.

Awesome.

People forget how cool he was as a linebacker, too.

Yeah.

The name D'Amico Ryans is just awesome.

Like that to me.

So we've always said that NFL owners, they should hire me and Big Cat to just look at their coaches and just be like, is this guy working?

Matt Rule would not have gotten a second interview if me and Big Cat had been involved in the process.

We would have kept Dan Campbell as like the strength and conditioning coach, rah-rah guy.

Yes.

Or like hire somebody to fire every year and have Dan Campbell take over the team and then crush it as an interim guy.

With D'Amico Ryans, I'm giving him,

from my side of the table, I'm stamping him as will be

way, way, way, way, way above average head coach.

I'm going to double stamp it, and I'll go one further.

D'Amiko Ryan will be coaching in a playoff game

within three years of getting a job.

I think D'A'Meko Ryan's is going to win coach of the year.

Wow.

How about that?

We're hyping him up.

He is kind of like what Dan Campbell, the best version of Dan Campbell, because he gets his guys so hyped.

And the Niners,

I think we said it last on Wednesday's show because we were coming off the Monday Night Football game.

Their defense is, you know, a defense is good when a guy catches like a screen pass or a dump off, and there's six guys immediately there, and they're all ready to tackle.

Yeah.

And it's like they all get to the ball.

That's a good linebacker.

It looks like a snuff film when somebody catches a ball against you.

Right.

No, it does.

It's like violent, but like in a beautiful way.

They like show up instantly.

They're like, we're going to beat your fucking ass.

Yeah, it's like a bunch of birds going on a carcass and just tearing it apart.

Yeah.

So, yeah, there you go.

We just gave you the next best coach in the NFL.

Fuck, what if he first reported by pardon my take?

Remember this conversation.

What if he becomes a commander's head coach?

Then I just absolutely jukes the fuck out of him.

I wanted him to be the Bears' head coach when we were looking for coaches.

No, he's top my list.

I like D'Amico.

Yeah.

I like D'Amico.

Love to say the name.

It sounds Italian.

It does, vaguely.

Yeah.

Shout out Nunzio.

He's back.

Yeah, Nunzio

is back.

Cowboys-Rams, second-to-last game.

The Rams got some serious problems.

Yeah.

Serious problems.

22-15 Cowboys.

Their biggest problem is Micah Parsons.

He got nine nine pressures, three hits, two sacks, forced fumble, and that honestly didn't feel like that stat line did him justice for how he was playing today.

And he also was playing with a hurt groin the entire time.

Like, he almost came out.

Me too.

At halftime, I was like, what the fuck?

Is he going to come out of the game?

Because he was limping very badly.

He was on the bike.

Everything comes back in just an absolute monster.

This felt good because

I was heavy on the Cowboys.

I was like, how are the the Rams going to block the Cowboys?

And it proved that maybe I know a little bit about football because they didn't block the Cowboys.

Matthew Stafford was sacked five times.

Couple defensive.

This was also, let me just say this.

This was also the game that the Cowboys needed where Cooper Rush didn't win them the game.

Yeah, well, so they need the bridge game because they won the game.

But

if you look at the score and you're like, oh, Cooper Rush, 5-0 as a starter.

Is there a quarterback controversy?

This was the perfect game the Cowboys needed because if you watch the game, you know that it was a fumble, a scoop and score to start the game.

Instantly, the Cowboys were up, and then they blocked a punt and scored a field goal off that.

Their defense was swarming.

Like, this wasn't Cooper Rush lost you the game, but he did not win your game.

Cooper Rush had 10 winning completions for 102 winning yards.

Right, right.

He's a fucking winner, big cat.

He needed this game.

He's 5-0.

You got to keep dancing with the guy that brought you, as far as I'm concerned, if you're the Cowboys.

I do want there to be a quarterback controversy.

I want Dak Prescott.

Nothing would make me happier than if Dak Prescott came out in the next game, threw for 442 yards,

three touchdowns, one interception that was a pick six, and the Cowboys lost by five points.

I would love to see that because then you'll have people being like, Cooper Rush would have won us this game.

He's a winner.

It would have been awesome.

This was a game that this was the best case scenario for Dak and the coaching staff and Jerry Jones because you you know he secretly obviously loves Dak Prescott because you not only win and you have a good record now.

What are they?

Are they 3-2?

Are they 4-1?

Have they not lost since we've not lost since week one?

Yeah, haven't lost since week one.

And Cooper Rush is only, I think he's the 14th quarterback to start 5-0 his first five starts.

I think the last one might have been Jimmy G.

It's crazy.

Another winner.

He's a winner.

Yeah.

He's a winner.

But you needed this game because you keep your team winning, but you also are like, okay, that was good.

We survived this game, but it wasn't because of Cooper Rush.

It was because their rushing attack, Tony Pollard was electric, and their defense and special teams.

Right.

I think Jerry Jones likes Dak Prescott, too, because he's paying him money.

So Jerry Jones likes guys that have a lot of his money.

So like Ezekiel Elliott, even though a lot of times he might not look like he's the best running back on that team, Jerry's always going to keep going back to him because he has a lot of Jerry Jones's money in his bank account.

Right.

Yes.

So Jerry looks at those players as an extension of himself.

Yeah.

So the Cowboys

are good.

They just are.

I had some Eagles fans getting mad at me, Max, because I was saying the Cowboys are good.

I'm just admitting it.

I have to be unbiased.

They are good.

It's the NFC Beast.

It's the NFC.

It's the whole division, basically.

And the Rams are in trouble.

Yes.

This is the first time.

Sean McVay's been the coach since 2017.

This is the first time they're under 500, which is crazy.

It's how good of a coach he's been, but this is actually officially like, okay,

maybe panic a little.

Thankfully for them, you know who they have next week?

The Carolina Panthers.

So

they will win that game by a lot, and then they have to play the Niners again.

I think they have a bye week in between.

I even think like last week was the first time that Sean McVay was at 500.

Since

they had one year where they were like 3-3.

I think the year they went 9-7.

Okay.

But yeah,

his team's never been under 500.

Like he's, he's a great coach, and this is a problem.

I don't know if it's entirely mental with Matt Stafford or if there's something physical going on, but he made some real, some real bad throws.

Oh, he's definitely hurt.

Like, he missed, I think he, what's his name?

Skraunik?

I never know how to pronounce his name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Kronik.

You got it.

The other white guy.

I know who you're talking about, so you got it.

Yeah, it was, he threw the ball like three yards behind him on a crossing route when he was wide open.

Could not have been more open.

And it's just like an easy five-yard pitch and catch.

And then he threw that deep ball that was perfect.

perfect yeah like okay

something something weird's going on with matt staff 2-2 at well great name yes awesome name uh yeah but the rams i i'm i if you're a rams fan for the five rams fans that listen um

get the six please to listen as well uh panic button you think you're pressing it yep i'm i'm pressing the panic button i don't think so because you can see that the the walking living breathing embodiment of the panic button the carolina panthers are that's your next game you can't You can't truly press the panic button if you know that you've got Carolina Panthers.

You got to whomp them.

You've got to whomp the hell out of them.

I think you've got to win by 20 points.

Yeah.

It would instantly get you back on the right track.

We might have to do alternate line spread on that and just be like, yep.

Rams by 20.

It's a must-womp.

Otherwise, they're dead.

And then they have some tough games.

They're playing the 49ers, Bucs, and Cardinals in a row, which are not easy.

But I would hit the panic button.

I'm saying panic button because they're the Super Bowl champs.

They have super, they want to go back to the super bowl.

Obviously, if you're like panic button, will they go to the playoffs?

I think they probably will still go to the playoffs.

But panic button, this isn't a Super Bowl team.

Oh, definitely not.

Yeah.

Okay.

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Eagles 20.

Cardinals, 17.

Max,

it's a good win.

Gritty win.

Wins a win.

It looked ugly at times, but sometimes you got to win like that in the NFL.

Yeah.

Sometimes you got to win like that in the NFL.

Max was so emotional at the end of this game.

He was standing up like yelling almost like you were mad at somebody somewhere for disrespecting the Eagles.

I don't know if there was an actual person you were upset with or it was just the general thought that somebody out there might have thought that the Eagles might lose to the Cardinals, but you were like mad.

Oh, yeah, you were so happy.

You were looking to fight someone.

Your Philly came out.

Yeah, the Philly definitely showed up.

Your Philly was showing.

It's like, Max, put your Philly away.

Put a coat on.

I know.

Well, this is like the first game you guys have.

I mean, we've just dominated every game.

So I've been

pretty cool, collected, you know, just watching my game.

But

when it gets into it, I get pretty intense and I say things that just come out of my mouth and I don't know.

And I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.

You blacked out.

I think you were saying, like, fuck you.

Yeah, just

to everyone.

Yeah.

Which I love.

Like, I love the passion, Max.

And it's rare.

I tightrope walked this game.

I had the Cardinals first, or sorry, the Eagles' first half Cardinals game, and it went exactly that way where the Cardinals did exactly what they've been doing every single game and just coming out so slow.

And then Kyler Murray starts making plays.

But we should talk about Kyler Murray situational awareness 0.0.

Wearing that suit.

That suit was so bad.

Kyler Murray is so obsessed with video games that he's now wrapped himself in a green screen.

And he's going everywhere in it.

It was like a combo of

the mask, Hillary Clinton,

Michael Scott wearing the female suit.

Harry Styles is wearing a styles.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Like Nickelodeon Gak.

Thankfully,

I went because I did the research.

We care about the listeners here.

We do research before these shows.

I went and I made sure I found his press press conference.

He did it in full pads.

Because I was like, if he gets back in this suit,

you can't do that.

You can't get back in that suit.

He did the press conference, full pads.

But what I'm talking about, end of the game, Cardinals are driving.

They have a backup kicker, I think, right?

Because I think they're...

It's Matt Herman Dola, which is, he was the kicker, I think, on the Jets.

He's been on three teams this year, which is not a good sign.

No.

Week five, your kickers.

Word should be getting around about this guy.

It's not like we live in the 1800s

where somebody moves from town to town and just swindles the new town.

Right.

These games are on television.

He's the jack kicker.

You do not want to have a jack kicker on your team.

It's like hiring a skinny chef.

Right.

What about Joey?

Joey Sly.

He's just got biceps.

Adjust the biceps a little bit.

All right.

Good.

Because I was going to say Joey Sly is awesome.

I like Joey Sly.

Yeah.

But Matt Amandola is in like, his body fat is way down and his muscle definition is way up.

Steve Weatherford.

You should not be doing that as a kicker.

Nobody wants to see that.

You don't put money on a Quaker boxer.

It's the same principle.

You want your kicker to be a little fucking nerd.

Yeah, you do.

You want him to be

really skinny and just have a big fucking leg.

But Kyler Murray, end a game.

They're driving.

They get a first down, spikes it because they have no timeouts left.

Second play, he runs, slides.

He's short of the first down, thinks he got the first down, spikes it again, which is now third down, then you got to kick it.

There's 20 seconds left.

He could have run a couple more plays, 20 seconds left, has to kick it, 43-yarder, which should be made in the NFL.

But again, like we said, this kicker's been on three teams, misses it horrifically, and the Cardinals,

they're just,

we just got to keep doing this.

We just got to keep betting against the first half and then have them for the game because

they do the same thing every time.

They come out so slow, and then they're like, all right, fuck it, Kyler, start making plays.

People pointed out that Kyler actually slide canceled, if you're going to put it in Call of Duty terms.

So he popped up real quick.

Who starts their slide like two yards before the sticks?

It's crazy.

And then gets up and thinks that you had a first down.

No situational awareness.

No situational awareness.

He did have a couple of design runs for him, which I've been saying, like, they need to call these running plays for Kyler Murray and use his legs a little bit more.

If you're the Cardinals right now, if you're a Cardinals fan, are you bummed out that Kyler is going to be your quarterback for the next four years?

Yes.

I think you might be a little bit bummed out.

I guess, you know what?

You'd have to wait till DeAndre Hopkins comes back.

If you're a Cardinals fan, that's all you're doing is saying once DeAndre comes back, different team.

He basically, DeAndre Hopkins has put the entire weight of this franchise on his shoulders.

Because I know that that's definitely being talked about.

Like when we watch the Hard Knocks, we'll be like, DeAndre's coming back.

We're going to be good.

I can't wait to see Kyler Murray in the green Hillary Clinton suit on Hard Knocks.

Oh, incredible.

It's going to be so awesome.

He's probably going to be talking about how fashion has become really important to him.

Yeah, you just can't lose when you wear that suit.

You have to win the game.

Yep.

You have to win the game.

What were you going to say, Hank?

No, come on, Hank.

Hank.

Hank, Hank.

Come on, Hank.

If you say something, then I remembered what you said, and I don't want to

hurt the listeners' ears.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Just clear your throat, and you'll be fine.

No, Kyler makes exciting plays.

He does.

Yeah.

He does.

So if I was a fan of the Cardinals, I would be fine with it.

Would you?

Yeah.

But he makes a lot of bummed-out plays.

Like, he bummed.

Kyler Murray bums me out.

Well, the Cardinals just perpetually live in third and long.

They're always third and long.

And Kyler has to do something awesome, and he does a lot of times.

Yeah, and people are saying, like, I shouldn't hate on him because he's another short king.

This has nothing to do with him being a short king or not, even though he did turn his back on the 5'9 community by claiming he was 5'10.

That's never been done by a 5'9 guy.

Never, ever.

I'm 5'8, and I claim that I'm 5'9.

I'm not 5'9 claiming I'm 5'10.

That's out of bounds.

That's too far.

Way too far.

But Kyler Murray just bums me out when I watch him play because he doesn't seem like he's having much fun when he plays.

No.

And even when he does something electric, he just kind of like seems relieved

unless he's going to the stands and assaulting a fan.

Yes.

As Dan Dokich put it.

Yes.

But no, he doesn't.

I guess sometimes he'll seem like he's happy with what he's just done.

But I want a quarterback who's that electric to at least look like he's having fun out there.

Yeah, he does look bummed out.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

Oh, big important note, if you're in Philly,

it's free frosty Monday.

Oh.

So this is very important.

The Eagles, they froze the Cardinals out of the end zone in the first quarter.

And when they do that, I think everybody in Philly gets a free frosty.

So it's a Sixers thing.

In the second half of Sixers games, if the opposing team misses two free throws, it's the Frosty freeze-out.

And then they just brought it over to football this year.

It was really big with the Sixers, but now it's perfect.

Let's go.

It's perfect for the Cardinals because they can't score in the first half.

So, Philly,

stop what you're doing right now.

Go get your free Frosty.

For the Eagles, though, this was a grinded-out game, which

they did.

Obviously, you just want to win every game by a million points, but it was nice to see them do it this way where the deep passes weren't really working.

They ran the ball well.

Jalen Hurts had 13 screen passes, 12 for 13 for 70-yard screens.

So I was like walking away from that game, being like, good, tough win.

You need the tough wins.

You need a tough win every now and then.

And now they got the big game against the Cowboys on Sunday night next week.

Can someone who's better at understanding quarterbacks explain to me

just exactly how Jalen Hurts improved so much over the last couple years?

Because he's awesome now.

He had a couple plays today where I was like, yes, I'm a full-on believer that Jalen Hurts is going to be a good quarterback for a long time.

I think he has definitely improved, but he's also gotten a lot of good players around him.

He does, but I mean A.J.

Brown and what was he was passing it to what?

Nelson Aguilar and Jalen Rager.

He's now passing to A.J.

Brown and Devontae Smith.

I think that helps.

It does.

It's a big help.

It does, but he's also just better.

No, he is.

I'm not discrediting his growth as a quarterback.

I'm just also saying he's got a lot of talent around him, and they look like a complete team.

I'm trying to find what.

And I think Nick Siriani, like we said this last year at the end of the year, he pushes the right buttons with this offense.

Like he's doing the right, like where Jalen Hurts is running, even the goal line.

They're just like, fuck it.

Jalen Hurts, go ahead, rush it in.

Like, we're just, we can block up front, and you're a big dude, and you can squat a billion pounds.

You get the push, you score a touchdown.

Yeah, that was one thing that was insane that you don't see often is that, like, Mac from Olystani had this take on Twitter today, is that...

They just did quarterback sneak four times in a hundred.

Right, yeah.

Like they were like, we need four yards to get in the end zone, so we're just going to do quarterback sneak four times in a hour.

That's like, why doesn't everybody do that?

Right, that's why I like Nick Siriani.

He's like, let's do the play that works.

And it sometimes it gets a little more complicated with that in the NFL, but sometimes it's like you get a coach who's like, let's do that touchdown play, which is just going forward with your fucking quarterback, who, again, can squat 7,000 pounds.

I think that as dumbasses, we're actually way smarter when it comes to things like the quarterback sneak.

Yeah.

Don't overthink it.

Like, teams should always run quarterback sneaks on fourth and one, or third and one, or second and one.

Yes, they should run it all the time.

They should do it every single time.

But if it's too obvious, you're going to get the Troy Palamu.

Yeah, but that's also...

He's also a Hall of Famer.

I know, but.

He was literally the only person in the NFL that was capable of.

Him and other guys who have done it, but if it becomes too obvious, that's what's going to end up happening.

Okay, then the Eagles literally did it three plays in a row.

I know, but

it was so obvious that they were doing it every single time.

Billy, you can run your offense how you want to run your offense.

I'm literally going to run my offense how I run.

And you're also talking about, like, as a hypothetical safety, you're talking about that because you would jump.

Well,

I actually did in Pop Warner.

Yeah, you would jump on tape.

I'll find it.

Yeah, he's got great instincts for sure.

I want to see Billy jumping the line as like a seven-year-old.

Yeah, I like

Brian Dawkins going hands out like Wolverine, flattening some kid who doesn't want to be there.

Yeah, I was like an outside linebacker.

I stunted in and just went a gap and jumped a center.

Stunted.

Yeah.

Sick play.

Remember?

Bro, we're sick.

But,

yeah.

Okay, so for example, my imaginary offense where I'm calling quarterback sneaks, I should be careful for an imaginary Troy Palomalu or Billy Football.

No, no, but

just Billy in a wig.

No, but like if the Eagles keep going, like if they do that like next, like later in the season, people are going to know that.

But you're also forgetting the part that Jalen Hurts is like not your prototypical quarterback and that he is insanely strong and can get a push himself.

Right.

He is a freight train.

Right.

But like that, you know.

Don't do it with Matt Ryan.

Right.

He'll get crumbled.

But crumpled.

Still, you're still going to run into someone who's going to try to stop.

I think, Billy, we could have gotten you drafted in the NFL if you're going to be able to do it.

You would have just worn like a curly wig.

Yeah.

Like really long hair coming out of your helmet.

You would have looked so sick.

And if you got like the Samoan-type tattoo, the Polynesian tattoo on your arm.

Billy is right.

There's a big...

If you run it all the time, someone would stop it.

True.

Also, shout out Jason Kelsey.

Did he come back in?

He did come back in.

He is a dog.

I mean, he's the definition of a dog.

Yeah.

But going behind him also helps because he's one of the best Irish of all time.

Yes, and he was hurt and he's a dog.

And he's

like, it would take a lot to get him out of a game.

Okay.

Good recap.

All the games.

Let's do Football Guy of the Week and who's back and get out of here.

Hey, Barstall fans, PFT here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

week.

Congratulations to JJ Watt for one playing with a heart injury and winning Football Guy of the Week.

Hell yeah.

So the bills, it's your job to send the football with the nail in it to JJ Watt.

Okay.

They have it.

Did they confirm receipt of the football?

Well, they should have, but they, you know, but Bills have been.

Hypothetically, they should have.

Hypothetically, if they didn't get it, why don't you just like make a new one, just nail a ball?

You have plenty of balls.

Are you concerned at all that shipping a football filled with nails might turn up as a bomb on the X-ray?

No, no, no, it's one nail.

It's one nail in

single nail, a big nail.

And Billy has set the wheels in motion.

You can't do much more than that.

The wheels have been set in motion.

It's on the bills.

Sent one out.

They don't send it to JJ Watts.

It's on to all these teams.

Yes, on the Bill's organization.

Yeah, right.

Someday we'll get it back.

I love how you say organization.

You said like biz.

Yes, I did it on my own accord.

You did.

Can I say receipt?

There's no receipts for postage.

That's not true.

You sent it.

Would you put it in an envelope?

I put, it was a flattened football because it was deflated.

Right.

So what'd you put it in?

And I put it in a manila envelope.

Just a manila envelope.

Yeah.

And you just wrote bills on the front.

Yeah, just one bills way, Buffalo, New York.

Because every team is an orchid park.

How much postage is there?

They're in Orchard Park.

Postage was like.

I like over did it.

Did you send it to Buffalo or Orchard Park?

I don't think you actually sent it.

No chances.

No, you're lying.

No, I'm trying to get the Bills to be like, oh, we lost it.

So we got to send one.

So then I don't actually have to send it.

Because they're like, oh, we must have lost it.

We got to send one.

Bills, you lost it.

Some poor bastard and the bills are always freaking out.

He has to hammer a nail into a football and

send it to J.J.

Watt for some reason.

There's some AWL sitting in a basement fucking office,

and he's like, he's got his Bills polo on.

He's listening to the show right now, being like, what?

What the fuck?

we got a football from billy football from the billy football hopefully no all right send it out bill do the right thing bills yeah you got it or if you didn't that means you misplaced it yeah you lost it yeah billy football did the right thing by by

saying that he was gonna send it it's up to you now to find it or make a new one well you can watch billy's face turn red as he gets caught in lie it's it's one of the things i've gotten

in a manila envelope yeah send it to buffalo yeah

oh so our first nominee for Football Guy of the Week.

How many throws do you think it would take you to get to Buffalo?

Like throwing a football?

Yeah.

We should do that.

I wonder if Tom Brady's career passing record.

I'll look it up while you do this.

Is far here to Buffalo.

Our first nominee is defensive tackle from Oklahoma State, Brendan Evers, who did immediate day, and the guy just had blood all over his face.

And when asked what was up with his face, why there was blood all over it, he said.

That time of the month.

well it was just a Tuesday practice so that time of the week yeah

our next nominee is Mike Leach he's been nominated multiple times but this was on his take about coffee when asked Mike Coach Leach what you like to put in your coffee he said nothing coffee shouldn't taste good I don't like coffee I just drink it for the effect just very you know bug I move that's like hammer and nail that's what uh Dan Campbell said Two things he doesn't like flavored, coffee and tobacco.

He wants to taste it.

So the guy's just, that's actually a sign of a psychopath, too.

If you like black coffee, is it?

Yeah.

I like it.

For some reason.

Black coffee is fine.

Yeah.

I only put cream in it sometimes if it's too hot.

Hmm.

Our third night.

Is there a study that says that?

That's something, yeah.

Yeah, Billy.

Just look it up.

Billy's brain says it.

Third nominee is a fan from the Vikings game who's just totally decked out in Viking tattoos.

Yeah.

And he had this mask on, pretty metal looking, but he just had all Minnesota Viking tattoos.

His whole body, it looked like a full sleeve, but on your whole body.

It looks like, you know, how back in the day, hundreds and hundreds of years ago, art was meant to like

memorialize actual historic events that took place?

It was like their way of making a textbook or writing a book.

His had like various victories that the Vikings have had.

One had like

Clay Matthews decapitated on his arm from a certain game where they beat the Packers.

That's pretty cool.

You know, it was pretty sick.

The only thing I looked at him and I was like, I don't want to know too much about this guy or his personal life because

kind of

weird vibes.

That's what I'm going to say.

And then our fourth nominee is a Florida man who put on a helmet and hopped into a scrimmage with nine-year-old youth football players.

He wasn't a coach, but he suited up and he just

apparently was this Jeffrey Epstein?

This Florida man?

His name was Pensacola man.

Was he like laying kids out?

He was, and he's been arrested.

Okay, yeah.

But it was kind of sick.

I didn't know if child abuse should

be a football guy move.

Yeah.

But it's actually a gray area.

You're right.

Yeah, I mean,

should it disqualify you?

I think lots of football coaches could also be qualified as child abusers.

Yes.

I kind of want him to win so that JJ has to send that guy a football.

Yeah.

Yeah, so this guy basically hopped in an Oklahoma drill with nine-year-olds.

Oh, that's

not cool.

Yeah.

But kind of just funny story to add.

Hopefully he doesn't win, but just thought it was a good thing.

Oh, yeah, that will definitely not battle.

David Taylor, 41.

He's charged with cruelty.

You're getting a football, bro.

And we know you love it.

He's probably in AWL.

Yeah.

And honorable mention,

British football guys was the guys chanting Shove That Cheese Up Your Fucking Ass.

Oh, yeah, those guys were the best.

All right, so I looked it up.

Tom Brady's career passing yards would get you to

Middletown, New York.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Do you know where that is?

That's roughly 250 more miles to go.

Wow.

Yeah.

He's thrown 49 miles.

Whoa.

That's pretty crazy.

But not as nice.

That's wild.

Yeah.

49.

Whoa.

49 miles.

How far is the moon?

55 miles away.

Oh, pretty close.

Aroundish.

Give or take.

So

if you were to drive a Corvette directly up into the sky, you'd get one hour to hit the moon.

Easy.

Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

As long as there's not traffic.

Yeah.

Okay, good job, Billy.

Football guys of the week.

Go vote now.

All right, last up, who's back?

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Who's back of the week, Hank?

My who's back of the week is a gigantic black cloud hanging over NBA Finals team.

Oh, no.

The video of Draymond Green almost killing Jordan Poole got leaked, which is just a problem internally as an organization.

Correct.

Letting that get leaked.

The fact that Draymond did it in the first place, thinking he can just punch a teammate in the face as hard as he possibly can without squaring up first.

It was a sucker punch.

It was an absolute sucker punch.

He was looking at him.

He pushed him.

He was looking at him.

That's not exactly what he was doing.

The push that Jordan Poole did, that happens in every practice.

Reacting the way Draymond Green did as a veteran.

I wouldn't call it a sucker punch, though.

It was a sucker punch.

No, a sucker punch, you're not looking.

But like, he didn't square up.

It wasn't like all this punch is coming.

He basically, like, he didn't give him a chance to defend himself.

I don't think you're getting punched.

You can't do a Superman punch and have it be a sucker punch.

Yeah, you can't do it right in your face.

It was a sucker punch.

Draymond Green's a sucker.

Jordan Poole put his hands on Draymond Green first.

So once you put your hands on his hands on another man,

then it is.

He broke the code.

Then it's open season.

Like those Jets fans today that were doing the two assigns in Jake's face, if they touched him.

Jake would have fucked him up.

I was like imagining doing that.

To another Jets fan?

Yeah, but he's, I don't know.

You ride with your brother.

You're doing the Mark Wahlberg thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would have gone a whole lot differently if they touched him.

Yeah.

Would have been old.

I'll tell you that much.

He's coming out of retirement now.

I still can't believe they were doing the Tua Hands.

That's so funny.

I was trying not to laugh.

Yeah, I mean, it was hilarious.

So, Hank, I do disagree with you.

I don't think it was a sucker punch.

I think it was a kind of a dick move.

I think he's a dickhead for doing it.

I also think, I think that a certain extent, like, the whole world is content now.

So, Draymond probably is

absolutely raking it in on his podcast based on people that are listening to his description of what happened.

He's taking a time off.

He's taking time off of the podcast?

No, he's taking time off from the Warriors, which is preseason.

He's taking preseason off.

Yeah, like, listen, we should get into fights with each other way more frequently on Part of My Take.

I think the most successful YouTube clips are like Part of My Take almost breaks up because Hank calls Big Cat a fat fuck.

Those sorts of things.

Like, controversy does good for the podcast game.

I think, in the back of Draymond's head,

he's looking to get in fights left and right, knowing, boom, subscriptions.

And yeah, and he can take some time off.

He's like this deep cut, but he's like CT in the challenge when he bashed Adam's skull in on the first day because he didn't want to be there.

Yeah, I don't know, though.

I think this is something that it's going to be hard for them to get over as a team.

I don't know if they're going to be able to come together.

They'll probably be.

This is probably it for them.

It's probably the worst thing that's happened to a team in the offseason, right, Hank?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

It's

by far the biggest story from my NBA Finals team from last year.

Yep, absolutely.

All right, good.

Who's back?

He should be suspended for how many games you guys think?

For retroactively, last finals.

No, for this upcoming season.

I think it's just internal.

So, like, probably the preseason?

Yeah, it's kind of like when the Rams had the whole Aaron Donald thing happen.

It's on them to take care of it.

It's like a Bobby Bowden suspension where they'd be like, you don't get to play the first quarter against, like, Sanford.

Oh, he probably...

Draymond was like, oh, shit, the Celtics got Blake Griffin.

I want want to get the fuck off this team now.

He's going to body me up this time.

Blake Griffin on Celtics is just the gift that keeps on going.

I know.

I see your Instagram stories and it makes me feel like delightful.

It's like, you know, because I follow Peyton Pritchard and stuff.

They all went to the BC game together.

They're throwing out t-shirts to the fans.

It's beautiful.

Yeah, you like that?

It's beautiful.

I love it.

Somebody asked me to comment on Blake the other week, you know, Blake being in the news and everything.

I was like, if you're Blake, it's probably sweet.

He probably used to watch games of the Celtics all the time on his computer and was like, man, that'd be be sweet if I can imagine myself playing in that game.

And then now he actually gets a chance to do it after all the fantasies that he's had about maybe playing and putting on that uniform for the Celtics in the past.

Yeah.

I think that's pretty cool.

A lot of banners.

Yeah.

A lot of rings.

A lot of banners.

PFT.

Don't let Billy chime in.

He'll make it worse.

PFT.

Who's back?

My Who's Back of the Week is James Madison University.

Yeah.

Ranked.

We're ranked.

They ranked the Dukes.

The Duke Dogs.

You did it.

Congrats.

The conversation was had.

The ranking was awarded.

This is basically my national championship.

You got it.

First year, five games into playing an actual

FBS schedule.

And James Madison is now ranked 25 in the nation.

So I'm just basking in the glory, even though we can't play in a bowl game, which, as we've said, is bullshit.

So if we do go undefeated, I'm going to declare that to be a national championship.

Have to.

Have to.

have to claim it.

Your hands are tied.

My hands are tied.

Like JMU is right now, we are positioned to win a national championship.

Yes, absolutely.

I think we'll be favored in just about every game.

Maybe not at Louisville, but who knows?

Louisville stinks.

Louisville stinks.

They might not have a coach.

It's Duke's year.

Yeah.

Let's go, Dukes.

Hell yes.

Okay, my who's back playoff baseball.

Pretty fun first weekend.

I love the new format.

We got to see the Mariners make it to a DS series, first time since 2001, which they needed that.

It would have sucked for the Mariners to be celebrating, going to the playoffs, have no home playoff games, and not actually play in the ALDS.

You had the Cardinals.

Such a shame.

Such a shame that Yachty and Poojols go out that way with an all-time meltdown on Friday and then zero.

Do they score zero runs on Saturday?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

That's tough.

That's brutal.

I think that the Blue Jays meltdown has got to be up there in all time.

All-time collapse.

That was pretty bad.

That was bad.

That was bad.

But I think if you're looking at the Astros, they're obviously like the best team in the American League.

I think people are like, okay, they're a fucking wagon.

But from a karma perspective, would you say that the Mariners are the complete opposite of the Astros?

Like, everyone's rooting for the Mariners, right?

Like, they're a nice, fun team of...

Oh, except Hank.

Except for Hank, because Hank's the hater.

I have a Mariners' future.

Oh.

do you?

That's what's happening.

What for them to move?

Yeah, no, that's a very lopsided who America's rooting for.

And then the Guardians in that game went on forever.

It was like what felt like seven hours all Saturday afternoon.

And then, of course, the Mets with

if you, I mean, I assume all Mets fans are saying that was a meltdown because the last week and a half has, that was the definition of a meltdown.

They were a 100-win team in first place all season, couldn't win a single game with both their aces in Atlanta, then have to play the Padres.

And Scherzer is definitely hurt and old, and they lose.

Like, didn't even have a moment.

There's nothing like

losing and having not a single moment to cheer in the game that you lose it.

Yeah, it's tough.

Scherzer has always been like that in the playoffs, where he'll start out.

It takes him a couple innings to settle in.

He was hurt.

He's definitely old.

His back is fucked up.

And when your back gets fucked up at an old age, every other part of you starts to break down pretty soon thereafter.

It was tough.

Why did the Mets is this?

Am I getting fake interneted on this?

That the Mets did the trumpet thing?

Oh, yeah.

When

they were down 6-0?

Yep.

Oh, they needed to get out of that inning.

And they did the trumpet thing.

Down 6-0.

We called this.

We predicted it when Timmy the Trumpet night happened in August.

We were like, that was a really cool sports moment.

That's a cool story.

But if they do it in the playoffs and they either blow a game or they do it when they're down, they will get made fun of.

You can't do the trumpet thing when you're down 60.

And they went out so sad checking Musgrove's ears, which like his ears are very large.

And it was just an all-time,

what the hell is baseball doing when the umps came, had a little talk, and then went and did like the find the quarter behind your ear trick to him, like rubbing his ears.

And like, that's the saddest way to go out.

Mets went out such a sad way.

And Buck Show Walter's defense.

Musgrove's got some pretty shiny ears.

Oh, he does.

No, he definitely.

They're shiny and oily.

He's got oily ears.

And Buck Showalter probably, he was probably just trying to get in his head a little bit.

Yeah.

So literally, like, go feel this man's ear hole up.

Get your hands wet, William.

So there was someone online who was saying that a lot of pitchers actually put a little bit of Tiger Bomb

that cream on their ears.

Yeah.

Red hot.

Andrew McCutchen too.

Yeah, Andrew McCutcheon, yeah.

It's like because it helps them lock in when pitching.

Oh, yeah.

So it was

so weird.

Yeah.

I totally believe that.

Like beezing their eyelids.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I could see that, but you know, there was a substance, but I think not a substance that they were

a separate grip.

It was a sad way for the Mets to go out.

And now we have,

that's the best part about this first weekend.

Like baseball, credit to baseball.

We criticize all the time.

This was a fun weekend.

And then now you have like the whole week where you get four games in a day.

Is Tuesday four games?

So let's go.

How are the Yankees feeling?

Phillies and Yankees would be a fun World Series for this podcast.

Hell yeah.

That would be a fun World Series for this podcast.

Hopefully, Judge gets it together.

I think

he had a pretty bad year.

No, no, but like, oh, but like, but you know, you know how he's like, he won the quadruple crown.

Right.

Right, right, but hopefully he figures it out.

No, what I was saying is like, he had that point where he's like trying to hit 62.

I just wanted to get back to him.

He refocused.

Yeah, yeah, no, you're right.

You're right.

He's still hitting them, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, but

there was like a lot of,

like, it felt like the Yankees last month was just get Judge 62 home runs.

Now you got to win.

I can't wait till Aaron Boone like fucks something up and then they just bring him back again.

That's going to be a lot of fun.

Dude, Chapman's his roster.

Yeah.

He didn't show up warm-up day.

Who?

Chapman.

Oh, yeah, no, he's off the roster.

I think they were also looking for a reason to cut him, to not bring him on the playoff roster.

And it's like, oh, you missed a workout?

Good, perfect.

Listen,

you wouldn't want to win with him anyway, because anyone who wins with him, that's shameful.

Yeah, it's asterisk.

I would never.

It's like you want that.

It's forever tainted if you were to win with him.

Yeah.

All right, Billy, your who's back.

My who's back is SEC message boards.

I know we usually talk college football on Wednesday show, but this one's really quick.

In the Tennessee LSU game,

Jack Betch fumbled the kickoff, and Tennessee picked it up very early in the game.

And a bunch of LSU fans on their message board think that Tennessee has an electromagnetic pulsar

that they were dire that they were pointing at Jack Betch when he fumbled it

at the time and is this like cars two

I yeah where they're just shooting the the thing and the cars explode literally accusing Tennessee

oh yeah giving Havana syndrome to Jack Bitch Betch how do I pronounce that list it's gotta be bitches jack bitch is the person's name well if you let the electromagnetic wave affect his play, he's Jack Bitch.

So in Tennessee, he's been getting funding from the Department of Defense and they're using it

on the LSU players.

I like that a lot.

So that's the Department of Defense.

So and specialty.

So

the lasers got concentrated, and then it made the ball vibrate and it went out of his hand?

No, no, they beamed at his brain and made him have to freak out.

So they gave him a seizure.

Yeah.

That sounds about right.

I mean, LSU.

I mean,

only let's put some respect on Tiger Droppings, one of the original college football players.

I know the guy.

Those people are fucking psychos.

I love him.

Great dude.

Yeah.

So it's an EMP.

Okay.

That's why there's a fumble.

Okay.

Good job, Billy.

Jake, wrap us up.

My who's back to the NHL.

Regular season starts.

Too early.

So weird.

Too early.

So apparently.

I just found this out.

There were two games overseas.

Too early.

Wait, like regular season?

Yeah, they already started.

They did that a couple years ago on the Sharks in Prague.

Yeah.

But they start on Tuesday.

Yeah, I don't like that.

Too early.

We'll have Whitney or Biz on in like a month.

I think that's as far as I'm concerned.

NHL starts December 1st.

Yeah,

on this podcast, we start the seasons when it feels naturally right to start them.

I think you remember we did our baseball preview like a month after baseball season started.

Yeah, I think college basketball starts feast week.

For me, it starts right away just because I like gambling on it.

But yeah, I think

it starts on November 11th at college basketball.

Oh, yeah.

Sports Invitational.

That's true.

Oh, yeah, I guess that's the official start of Christmas time.

It's just that Monday.

Yes.

And then NBA starts Christmas Day.

Is that right?

Yep.

And NFL starts the draft.

Yep.

Yeah.

And it doesn't stop because the combine is going to be.

No, there's one month.

No, it stops after the combine.

No, there's two weeks after the Super Bowl before the combine.

Yeah, but that feels, you still got, you got to do some seasonal season.

It's Wonderlick season.

Yeah.

It's Winterlick season, too.

Parade season.

Yeah.

Parade, Jack.

All right.

Numbers.

Hank, have you ever gotten this?

No,

17.

Didn't you do that last time?

16.

Don't worry about it, or just remember.

Jake, you want to do 18?

I really want to know what Hank's red.

I thought you guys don't like me doing 18.

No, you do 18?

All right, I'm back on 18.

I'll do 19.

We're going to box him in.

Good luck, Hank.

61

Billy?

Implied.

Well, if you get it, it doesn't count.

No, I said it already.

Say it.

69.

What do I have?

19?

Was this for $5,000?

Yeah.

Ah, $30,000.

Damn.

So close, Hank.

You're never going to get it.

You're never, ever.

Never going to get it.

Never going to get it ever.

Never going to get it.

Never going to get it.

Never ever.

Never going to get it.

Never going to get it.

Never going to get it.

What will happen first?

Hank stops being sick or he gets the ball.

There's either.

they're both gonna last forever so this actually one of my favorite fun facts came across so you know shot glasses they're called shot glasses because that's where you're supposed to spit out the lead pellets of a shotgun in like a like if you shoot a pheasant you're supposed to like they develop shot glasses so you spit out the lead shot into the shot glass.

That's why they're called shot glasses.

Why are you biting into a bullet?

I'm confused.

No, because

if you shoot a pheasant.

Oh, okay, got it.

Eat it and you single egg, and you catch on the little leg.

I like that shit.

I like that as a shotgl.

Good job.

Whoa.

That's how I gotta say it.

Love you guys.

Today is another day to call you.

Shiny.

But I've been coming for a love of me.

I've been coming for your love of me.

Day.

Drink on me.

Needless to say,

I'm up to it.

But be it's going away.

Smelling the mind is okay.

Stay on me.

Thanks for playing to say for sorry.

They're better to say for sorry.

Dream.

make it a little bit of a

cake.

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