Kyle Long In Studio, 1 Question With Blake Bortles, CFB Talk + Bring Your LunchPail With Jersey Jerry

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have our good friend Kyle Long in studio. Haven't seen him in a while.

Speaker 1 Catch up with him, talking about the end of his career, his podcasting career that's going very well, coaching high school football. A lot of great stuff with Kyle.

Speaker 1 We also have Blake Bortles on One Question with a quarterback. And yeah, there might be some news that you want to listen to that was broken in true Blake fashion.

Speaker 1 Couldn't have been funnier. We have What's The Bring Your Lunch Pail with Jersey Jerry to finish the show?

Speaker 1 Talk a little Monday night football, college football, hot seat, cool throne pack show for you.

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Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 4 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 4 and then a lot of soft work to be done.

Speaker 4 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 4 and then I can't babe all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue,

Speaker 4 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then bar stick

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app of Barstool Sports. Go create a login and redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase.
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Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, October 5th, and I love watching Debo Samuel play football. That was my big takeaway from Monday Night Football.

Speaker 4 The quote of the game was from Debo after. He said,

Speaker 4 yeah, I just don't know what he was doing out there. That's what Debo said on Jalen Ramsey's attempt to tackle him.
It was on that first touchdown case.

Speaker 1 It was everyone on the Rams. I mean, we saw him.
He can't tackle him.

Speaker 4 He's just untackleable.

Speaker 1 He's just a violent football player.

Speaker 1 He was basically made in a lab for Kyle Shanahan's offense when they showed him not only catching balls, running balls, but also blocking, like throwing great blocks to spring these big runs.

Speaker 1 It was a Kyle Shanahan masterclass. He owns Sean McVay, obviously not the NFC championship game, but I think it's now 9-3 against the spread, Kyle Shanahan versus Sean McVay.

Speaker 1 And we've talked about this before, but it's great that the NFC West has these three young coaches, and they all just have each other's number. Like Sean McVay has Cliff Kingsbury's number.

Speaker 1 I think Cliff.

Speaker 4 No, no. So I looked at this earlier.
Yeah, Cliff did okay against the Niners for the last couple years, but overall it's like 50-50. So it's like Kyle owns Sean.

Speaker 1 Sean owns Cliff.

Speaker 4 Cliff owns a very nice house to do cocaine in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there it is. That's the NFC West.
And Pete Carroll's just hanging out chomping gum up in Seattle.

Speaker 4 He's just having a good time. He just can't be, his vibes are immaculate still to this day.
I actually think that Pete Carroll is having more fun with Geno Smith as his quarterback.

Speaker 4 It's a combination of like, okay, weirdo Russ isn't around, so I don't have to worry about placating him all the time and pretending to understand his strange, unusual motivational techniques.

Speaker 4 And also, Geno's around, if I win a game with Geno Smith, That's pretty cool. If I lose, who really cares?

Speaker 4 But yeah, in terms of game last night, Debo Samuel is like if you just took Greg Kittle and just shrunk him down into like a slightly smaller, slightly faster version of himself.

Speaker 4 But a lot of people are like, hey, when are they going to get Kittle involved? Kittle is involved in the run game. And I think he actually,

Speaker 4 I think Greg Kittle should get fantasy points for run blocking. I agree.
Because he's one guy that does make that much of a difference.

Speaker 4 And I was watching some of the Kyle Shanahan, like one-cut zone blocking rushes.

Speaker 1 So sexy.

Speaker 4 It's beautiful. There was one play that was like a nine-yard gain.
That was like the prettiest play that I've ever seen in my my life.

Speaker 1 It's also so pretty that it's like he just does the same thing as that his dad did with the Broncos. And it's like, that was just the best one.

Speaker 1 It's like, hey, we could plug any running back in, just one cut, and they're gone. And when it works, there's like no prettier football.
It really is. He makes running the football sexy.

Speaker 4 It's gorgeous. Yeah.
And then on the other side of the ball,

Speaker 4 first of all, I think it's time that we do some blind resume season. Okay.
So I'm going to give you two random quarterbacks, completely random.

Speaker 4 And you tell me based on the stat line, which one you would rather have on your team right now.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Quarterback one,

Speaker 4 1,015 yards.

Speaker 1 That's a lot of yards. Averaged 6.8

Speaker 4 yards per reception, yards per completion, four touchdowns, six interceptions.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Quarterback rating: 81.4.

Speaker 1 That's quarterback one. Quarterback two,

Speaker 4 1,126 yards. Oh.
7.5 yards per completion.

Speaker 4 11 touchdowns.

Speaker 1 That's a a lot more.

Speaker 4 Only three interceptions.

Speaker 4 99.9 quarterback rating. Just out of those two.
I'd want Jared Goff.

Speaker 1 You'd want Jerry Goff and not Matt Stafford. Yes, yes.
I'd want Jared Goff.

Speaker 4 That's smart. So it's time to ask, like, who really won that trade, Big Cat? The Rams or the Lions?

Speaker 1 It's a good question. If we just take out Super Bowls, I think it's the Lions.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, Super Bowls, that's a team stat. That's true.
Just from a purely passer perspective.

Speaker 1 And the Rams, I mean, the Rams have problems. Their offensive line is completely battered.

Speaker 1 And they basically, like, it was essentially Matt Stafford running for his life, just throwing it to Cooper Cup, and then Cooper Cup running for his life. The 49ers' defense, too.
I don't know, like,

Speaker 1 if we had like advanced analytics, of just they have dudes every year that just they're violent, and I love it. Like, they always are, well, no, that Warner, yeah, yeah, yeah, Fred Warner.

Speaker 1 They just always are the team that, like, if you catch the ball in the middle of the field, they'll have what feels like 10 guys tackling you immediately. And yeah, I was impressed with the Niners.

Speaker 1 I do think there was like times where I was thinking, you know, Jimmy G, nice guy, but there was definitely a few times, especially in the first half, that one stretch where he had where he missed like three or four guys that were wide open.

Speaker 1 It's like, okay, I kind of get what Kyle Shanahan was trying to do. Like, hey, if we had...

Speaker 1 If you had Matt Stafford on the Niners, I think they would be prohibitive Super Bowl favorites because there are definitely some times where you're like, hey, Jimmy, just the offense is so great.

Speaker 1 You have so many weapons. Just hit the guy who's wide open.

Speaker 4 See, it's always a chicken or the egg situation with if you had a great quarterback in Kyle Shanahan's offense, how good would they be?

Speaker 4 Because I feel like the fact that he's always had medium to like slightly below average quarterbacks makes him run the ball more. Yeah, I see.
Which is what he's good at.

Speaker 4 Where if he had like a great quarterback out there, he probably wouldn't run the ball as much.

Speaker 1 I think you would still, I think you would probably still prefer for Jimmy G to hit the open guys. And Jimmy G has moments where you're like, oh, this works.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, I'm not talking about hitting the open guys.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 4 I think that you'd fall in love with your quarterback if you have a guy that was slinging it.

Speaker 1 He just loves to run the ball. And then we also had the protester, Bobby Wagner, showing way more effort on the pro that was the best part about the Debo touchdown run is it wasn't just Jalen Ramsey.

Speaker 1 It was like the entire Rams team. Essentially, it was like a group homework assignment.
They're like, someone else will do it. We'll be fine.
And then

Speaker 1 you get to the day where you have to do the presentation. Everyone's like, I thought you were going to do it.
Everyone was like, someone else will tackle him. It's fine.

Speaker 1 And everyone kind of made their own business decision. And it was like great by Debo, terrible by the Rams.
I don't. Do the Rams.
Do the Rams have problems? I don't.

Speaker 1 I feel like their offensive line obviously does, but I still think

Speaker 1 they're going to be there at the end of the year.

Speaker 4 I think the problem is that Matt Stafford, he's obsessed with Cooper Rush. Yeah.
It's like it's sad. Cooper Rush.

Speaker 1 Cooper Cup.

Speaker 4 Or sorry, yeah, Cooper Cup. I'm obsessed with Cooper Rush.
Yeah, you are.

Speaker 4 The ginger cannon. But Cooper Cup is like the only

Speaker 4 option that he ever looks at. He tries to get the ball occasionally to Robinson, but that's not.
It's very clear that his priority is.

Speaker 1 Well, Allen Robinson also, great career.

Speaker 1 It's actually funny.

Speaker 1 Our friend Tom Fernelli, he has like the biggest grudge with Allen Robinson because last year with the Bears, he was like, you know, complaining about targets and not getting open and stuff.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, he doesn't get open. Like, he's with Matthew Stafford now.
He had an ACL injury that he has not ever gotten that.

Speaker 1 He never was explosive to begin with, but he hasn't gotten, you know what I mean? He's not gotten all the way back. And so maybe it's not the quarterback.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's Allen Robinson isn't as good as we thought towards the end of his career.

Speaker 4 I think it's mostly on Matt Stafford being a player.

Speaker 1 But he's not open.

Speaker 4 He's obsessed with him.

Speaker 1 But Allen Robinson is an open.

Speaker 4 He's obsessed.

Speaker 4 Well, I've seen some of the cutups from Allen Robinson, like week one and week two, where there are people out there that think like Allen Robinson should be the number one receiver based on how open he's gotten in weeks one and two.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 But in terms of just like locking on to a guy, like it's kind of creepy how much Matt Stafford is above each other with Cooper Cup. It's just like 19 targets

Speaker 4 through the bottom, 19 targets.

Speaker 1 It was essentially, like I said, it was just running for his life. Oh, shit, throw it to Cooper Cup.

Speaker 1 And yeah, the only other thing that happened was the protester and Bobby Wagner taking him out, which was great. I think there was a security guard that might have blown his ACL at the start of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was the other angle.

Speaker 1 That's got to suck so bad for security guards who are like, they're ready for that moment and they're hope, like, hey, we get a moment where we get to just absolutely pummel a guy and take him off.

Speaker 1 But the minute you realize, oh, this guy might have some speed, that has to be a demoralizing second where you're like, fuck, I'm kind of screwed.

Speaker 1 But credit to the security guard in yellow, who just ran him towards Bobby Wagner and was like, get your help defense. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 You got to keep him away. You got to act like a herding dog in that situation and make somebody else make a play on him.
Just steer him towards the sidelines and hope something good happens.

Speaker 1 What was he protesting?

Speaker 4 I don't know. Animals? I don't know.
Probably chickens.

Speaker 4 Dead chickens.

Speaker 1 Should we be in favor?

Speaker 4 It was someone who broke into a slaughterhouse and they're now locked up and he was asking for them to be freed. Okay, so like a political prisoner.
Are they

Speaker 1 locked up in the slaughterhouse? Because that would be funny if they're like, now you just can't leave.

Speaker 1 You just got to sit here with these pigs that we slaughter every day and listen to them die. That would be cool.

Speaker 7 You think that guy will sue Bobby Wagner?

Speaker 1 I don't think that you can.

Speaker 4 I think you're like trespassing at that point. Now, the take of the night.

Speaker 4 That goes to our good friend Dan Dockich. Because he said, if players can do this to fans coming onto the field, can fans smack players coming into the stands? A la Kyler Murray?

Speaker 1 It's a great question that needs to be asked, Dan. Kyler Murray also wasn't going into the standard.
Oh, no, Piccat. He was

Speaker 4 basically assaulting them by leaning against the barrier.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Fair question, Dan. I say yes.
I say that if Kyler Murray, if he climbs into the stands and starts to punch you,

Speaker 4 I say that you should be allowed to restrain him using all physical means necessary.

Speaker 1 Yes, Dan also hilariously broke the Paul Chris news like six hours after everyone else. He's like, I can also confirm

Speaker 1 that Paul Chris has been fired.

Speaker 4 Whenever Dan does that, I always like to quote, tweet it, and confirm his confidence.

Speaker 1 That's right. I did.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So it was good Monday night football. He wasn't like, you know, the overdin hit, but you know what? I enjoyed the game.
I enjoyed the game.

Speaker 1 It's always fun watching McVay go against Shanahan. I do think the Niners, like, it's always the question of can they stay healthy? But that team, their defense is, it gets all over everyone.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to watch.

Speaker 5 Whose line is it anyway?

Speaker 1 Panthers, 49ers? Because, holy shit, Baker's in for a long day.

Speaker 7 49ers. That's in San Francisco.

Speaker 1 It's in Santa Clara. Carolina.
In Carolina.

Speaker 1 Minus 6.5.

Speaker 5 I would say minus 6.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 minus 5.

Speaker 1 What do we got?

Speaker 4 It's a long plane ride. Bad Wi-Fi.
We have Niners. Mine's 6.5.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you go, Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's going to be a long, long afternoon for Baker.

Speaker 4 I kind of went at the Carolina Panthers on Sunday night's show. I had so many people from Carolina reach out to me and be like, I watched this entire game.
I can't believe I did.

Speaker 4 There was one person that I'm not going to out them. They work for the Panthers organization.
Part of their job is to cut up highlights. Oh, no.

Speaker 4 And at the end of the second half, somebody said, hey, we need the second half highlight package. And the guy was like.

Speaker 4 Literally the only highlight that we had was a fake punt that was called back on a flag. Post it.
So

Speaker 4 there were no highlights in the entire second half.

Speaker 1 That guy is like the

Speaker 1 Facebook quality control people who have to watch horrendous videos of people dying and stuff, and then they get PTSD.

Speaker 1 That's no different than the Carolina Panthers social media team trying to cut up highlights.

Speaker 4 No, it's tough like, would you rather watch this person in the countryside be doused with gasoline in a political coup? Or would you rather watch Baker Mayfield hand off for a two-yard loss?

Speaker 1 That's a tough one. That's tough.

Speaker 4 I think it's probably the former. Sam Darnold might be coming back, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was... Baker's kind of in trouble.
The minute you hear like Sam Darnold

Speaker 1 making progress with his ankle injury, that's it's it's going to be the same result for the Panthers, but hey, sure. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 4 Matt Rule is on board the Titanic and he's like, no, let's put this chair on the starboard side. Yeah.
I think that would be better. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe, yeah, just try maybe putting the whole thing in reverse. Yeah, hey.
Let's see if we can just return back time.

Speaker 4 So the band's playing right now.

Speaker 4 Do you know anything like

Speaker 4 a little more peppy of a tune? Like someone put a pop in your stop?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So, it's not good for the Panthers.
Do we want to talk a little college football before we do Hot Seat Cool Throne?

Speaker 1 We talked about, obviously, Paul Criss getting fired, which was a shocker.

Speaker 1 I dropped a fun fact on you guys that the last time Wisconsin fired a football or basketball coach was Stan Van Gundy in 1995, which is hilarious.

Speaker 4 They just don't let people, like, they let everyone walk away on their own terms.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Bo Ryan walked away gracefully on his own terms.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So it's, I I touched on it on Sunday, but it is nice having now an excuse because the Badgers suck so bad to be like, well, we went through a coach firing. What are you going to do?

Speaker 4 So the fact that Wisconsin has a job opening makes me, one of my favorite things to do is to just talk about jobs in college football.

Speaker 1 What's the better job, Nebraska or Wisconsin? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 Let's compare jobs. I think

Speaker 4 I would rather take the Wisconsin job than the Nebraska job.

Speaker 1 Nebraska fans will get very upset, but I agree.

Speaker 4 But here's the situation. Like, Nebraska feels like the entire job is poisoned.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, whoa, everyone thought, Scott Frost, there's no way that this fails. Yeah.
He's been a success elsewhere. Prodigal son returns home.
This is a guaranteed victory.

Speaker 4 Really, the only way that you can possibly succeed at Nebraska is to do what Bo Polini did, which is to just make everybody in town hate you, but win football games.

Speaker 1 And it's also, it goes back to Wisconsin for, you know, as much

Speaker 1 as it's hard to watch sometimes, there is strength in knowing what you are and just doing that well and not trying to deviate from that.

Speaker 1 Because if you have a brand and you can maximize that brand, which is just running the football down everyone's throat and playing good defense, you at least don't get to have to play this game where you hire someone who's like, you know, Nebraska might hire someone like, hey, we're going to run explosive offense and like, we're going to try it this way.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, just do this. Win your nine or ten games.
Everyone knows what it is. It's fun sometimes when you, when you win big games against rivals.
And yeah, that's, that's cool.

Speaker 1 Like I'm cool with that because that's college football. Like, not everyone can win a national title.

Speaker 1 And I did like someone did tweet in all earnesty being like, Wisconsin should give Nick Sabin a call.

Speaker 1 Uh, the academics, like, line up with what he believes in, and it would be stupid not to at least give him a call. Call everybody, yeah,

Speaker 1 someone replied and was like, why not call Bear Bryant, too? Yeah, he's been dead for 20 years, but who cares? Newt Rockney, yeah, get as well, Coach O.

Speaker 1 No, no stone uncovered, Unturned.

Speaker 4 What about Cocho, though? Because when you think about it, Wisconsin is the Louisiana of the Midwest. It could be, yeah.
They're vaguely French. They have a severe drinking problem.

Speaker 4 A lot of big people.

Speaker 1 Fried food every day.

Speaker 4 It seems like a perfect culture fit, to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like you just trade Jambalaya for brats.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Very easy.
I think it'd be a very easy assimilation. Although Coach O does like the warm weather.

Speaker 1 I know he likes to go

Speaker 1 running out with Sam Baker.

Speaker 4 With Ray Baker.

Speaker 1 Ray Baker.

Speaker 4 There's good backfire on you, though, because you got Leonard as your interim head coach. Favorite badger of all time.
Your favorite badger, a lot of people's favorite badger.

Speaker 4 And so he's kind of been hanging out for a while, like the coach in waiting and waiting almost. Yep.
And they've got him with an easy schedule coming up. Don't you guys play like Northwestern?

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, it's the Big Ten Western.

Speaker 4 Who else do you play? Like Purdue?

Speaker 1 Literally the Big Ten West. Yeah, there you go.
So it's every team sucks.

Speaker 4 He should win most of these games coming up. Correct.
If he doesn't,

Speaker 1 he probably won't get the job.

Speaker 4 Then he probably won't get the job, and then he probably won't want to stick around in Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 No, no, he wouldn't. No, obviously he wouldn't.

Speaker 4 So it's like you're going all in on him right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's better than

Speaker 1 I'd rather it this way than firing Paul Chris at the end of the year and then hiring Jim Leonard and then finding out it doesn't work next year.

Speaker 1 Because then if you hire him for the full, I want it to work with him.

Speaker 1 But if you hire him after this year, if you say you fire Paul Christ in January, you hire Jim Leonard, you then have to kind of keep him for three years.

Speaker 1 And if he's not the guy, that's three more years down the line where you've kind of fucked yourself.

Speaker 1 i think he's going to be good i think he's going to be successful i might just do like an integrity um support the program major pick on wisconsin minus nine and a half against northwestern feels right okay maybe pledge that money to uh the kids jim leonard's future hot tub just i don't know the children's hospital yeah let me just say the children's hospital and nobody else the children's hospital asked you which one i did we didn't talk about it on sunday i i we have to be careful pft because we have been playing a dangerous game of uh always saying we're going to match charity and stuff and i almost almost got fucked.

Speaker 1 I'll match your charity with Mizzou.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I almost got fucked with Mizzou on Saturday night when I said I would match Chase Daniels' offer for two hours open bar at a big Mizzou bar, and they almost beat Georgia.

Speaker 1 It's actually the perfect scenario. Mizzou always almost beats Georgia.

Speaker 4 It's the perfect scenario, though, saying that you're going to match and then never having to. That's kind of the whole point of saying that you'll match.

Speaker 1 But it was very close to having, like, we have been playing with fire, and it almost burnt me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you got to play with fire.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 If you don't play with fire, then you'll never cook a meal.

Speaker 1 That's what I always say. It's true.

Speaker 4 I honestly will never stop saying that I will match or double. I don't know which is better, actually, saying double or match.

Speaker 1 I think both. Yeah, you go back and forth.
You switch back and forth.

Speaker 1 Other college football. I wanted to throw out one thing for the people of Future that I have my eyes on.
Clemson at 16 to 1 to win the national title.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're going to win the national title. I think they're going to be in the playoffs.
I think Clemson is sneaky a little bit back, even though they won 10 games last year. DJ Ungalea

Speaker 1 is playing well.

Speaker 4 It's Uyungalale.

Speaker 1 Right, Jake? Jake? Nailed it. Nailed it.
Nailed it.

Speaker 4 We practiced at the beginning of the season.

Speaker 1 Nice. We did.

Speaker 1 He looks competent, even good, dare I say. And if they figure out their cornerbacks in secondary,

Speaker 1 I think they'll be in the... They've played the two toughest teams in Wake Forest, in NC State, and the ACC.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that division that they're in stinks. Right.

Speaker 1 I think they might have to play Florida State. I think they might have to play Notre Dame, but Notre Dame's down.

Speaker 1 Syracuse. Syracuse.
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 But 16 to 1.

Speaker 1 Just saying. It's not.
And it might be.

Speaker 4 DJ is like everything that Sean Payton wanted Taysom Hill to be.

Speaker 4 He's a better passer. I think he's

Speaker 4 a more powerful runner.

Speaker 4 When he's at his best, he's like a more powerful Taysom Hill. When he's at his worst,

Speaker 4 he's pretty bad, though. He has the ability.
It wouldn't shock me if he came out and laid an egg.

Speaker 1 So Alabama, obviously, Bryce Young got hurt. He'll be back eventually, but we don't know how long.

Speaker 1 Ohio State looks good. Georgia,

Speaker 1 it's crazy to say, but like their last two games, they have not looked.

Speaker 1 Their defense looks good still. But I'm wondering, well, I mean, they gave up 22 to Kent State.
Missouri kind of. Missouri was moving the ball against them.

Speaker 4 No, but they're defense.

Speaker 1 And I watched that entire game, unfortunately, because I thought I was going to have to pay like $20,000 in a bar tab.

Speaker 4 I'm not worried about their defense at all. I'm a little bit worried about their offense.

Speaker 1 Mizzou kind of moved the ball.

Speaker 1 It wasn't so fluky.

Speaker 1 It wasn't one of those games where it's like weird things kept on happening and balls getting tipped.

Speaker 1 They were obviously still better defensively than Mizzou's offense, but Mizzou was running the ball, was throwing it deep a couple times. I'm just saying, this is, just put a little pin in it.

Speaker 1 Did we get a little bit duped by George's dominance because we watched that 49-3 game against Oregon week one? Oh, for sure. And we're like, this team is insane.

Speaker 1 And I think they're obviously still very, very good.

Speaker 1 But the last two, one game I get, two games in a row where they've played down to their competition severely makes you start to say, huh, maybe this isn't like the juggernaut we all thought it would be.

Speaker 4 I think their defense will be fine. I think long-term,

Speaker 4 that's not going to be a problem for them. They'll figure it out.

Speaker 4 Alabama, I don't know, is Bryce Young is a shoulder okay? It's a sprained shoulder, right? Yeah. So that's not bro football, Doc.
Maybe you can shed some light on that.

Speaker 4 A sprained shoulder seems like a bad thing to have as a quarterback like something that you need more than just a week or two to recover from

Speaker 1 definitely needs some mobility but it's kind of one of those things you just got to throw through yeah throw through yeah throw through okay that's good doc use it more it'll get better and they i mean they're gonna this is actually gonna be great watching on saturday night alabama versus texas a m with the backup with alabama who's not a great thrower Nick Saban is going to just be like, I'm going to try to rush for 600 yards on your face.

Speaker 1 And there's nothing you can do about Jimbo.

Speaker 4 We might see a Ryan Day, Greg Sciano type ending of this game.

Speaker 1 They might run the triple option. Like, I think Nick Saban is going to be man football down their face all day, and it's going to be great to watch.

Speaker 4 He's going to punish Jimbo. So I'm more interested in the handshake after the game.

Speaker 4 The handshake, yeah, Jimbo Fisher, I think he said this offseason, didn't he say like somebody should have slapped him in the face?

Speaker 4 I don't think that you can say that somebody should slap another man in the face and then go shake that other man's hand.

Speaker 4 I think you've got to have some sort of, I don't know if it's going to be one of the handshakes where you grab and you pull in and you like hold on a little bit too long and you like give them a little lecture with a finger point.

Speaker 4 I always love the finger point addition to the handshake when you're teaching some another man a lesson at the end of the game. Or maybe he snubs them.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 Or maybe they just stand there yelling at each other. Yeah.
Who knows? But that's what I'm very interested in seeing at the end of this game.

Speaker 1 And then we also have the Red River shootout, which is going to be the hot seat. Oh, yeah, we're not allowed to say shootout.

Speaker 5 S out.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The S out, which is going to be the hot seat bowl because obviously Brent Venables,

Speaker 1 it's his first year, so he's not technically on the hot seat. But if he loses three in a row,

Speaker 1 people are going to be very upset. And then Sark

Speaker 1 definitely could be on the hot seat if he loses this game.

Speaker 4 You think so?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 they played Alabama close, then they lose to Texas Tech.

Speaker 1 If they lose to Oklahoma, people are going to start asking questions.

Speaker 4 They'll always ask questions, but I don't think that Sark's on the hot seat when you.

Speaker 1 Last year wasn't good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you've got Arch Manning coming to town. And a pretty big part of that, I would imagine, would be you're going to play with Steve Sarkeesian.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 They could probably get...

Speaker 4 Just saying. It's so ridiculous how much money they invested in recruiting Arch Manning because they know that he's going to bring in tens of millions of dollars

Speaker 4 to that university, if not hundreds of millions of dollars if they play well.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, I'm going to say

Speaker 1 some podcasts are saying possible hot seat if they lose the ring.

Speaker 4 The discussion could happen.

Speaker 4 People are talking about

Speaker 1 writing discussion.

Speaker 4 Yes. There's also the Chip Patterson versus Les Miles TCU Kansas game.
Yes. Both teams 5-0 going against.
I think College Game Day is going to be up there. Yes.
It's going to be fun to watch. Yes.

Speaker 4 Which of these two? Is Kansas a fraud?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. I'm going to say TCU is going to win that game.

Speaker 4 Their head coach used to be the head coach at Whitewater. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's he's. T3.
Yeah. Lancelot Shield.

Speaker 1 He's on Wisconsin's list for potential

Speaker 1 hires.

Speaker 4 He was at Buffalo. Buffalo, and then before that, he was in Buffalo.
He was in Wisconsin, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, he won, like Billy said, he won multiple national titles at Wisconsin.
Wisconsin, Whitewater, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I was Gary Patterson. Excuse me.
Gary. I didn't want to mess up the name of that coach for TC.

Speaker 1 I was confused what you said there. I just went by it because it was like, those are obviously the former coaches.

Speaker 4 It's Gary Patterson against Smiles.

Speaker 1 Who is on Texas's staff now, which is crazy. Yeah.
I saw him waddling around in that burnt orange, and so I had a lot of people be like, you don't know DFW DFW football.

Speaker 1 I just asked the question, is it not kind of a slap in everyone's face at TCU? He built that whole program. Obviously, the time had come to part ways.

Speaker 1 He goes and bees a special assistant for Steve Sarkeesian on the Texas sideline. That's weird to me.
It is kind of weird. That's weird to me.
It's very

Speaker 1 going to say. That is weird to me.

Speaker 4 We also have LSU playing Tennessee this weekend. Yeah.
And that's, I'm worried for Tennessee. I'm worried.
Yeah. Now, it's going to be an early game, which is nice.
Noon game.

Speaker 4 And people are pissed off in Baton Rouge about that because it doesn't give them enough time to get drunk.

Speaker 4 I say to them, like, if you go and you watch the Red River S-Out, that game is played at 11 o'clock local time. They showdown.
They really do. Showdown.
Showdown, yeah. S-Down.

Speaker 4 That game is played at 11 o'clock local time every year in Dallas. And just the students stay up drunk from the night before.
They just don't go to bed.

Speaker 4 That's what they should do in LSU. I'm a little bit worried, though, because...
It's a tough place to play, regardless of how inebriated the agents are.

Speaker 4 And it just feels like a letdown spot for them after that emotional win. They had a week off.

Speaker 4 They had a bye week, but still, it's like this, this feels like a game that Tennessee should win, but because it's a game that Tennessee should win, it actually feels like a game that they should lose.

Speaker 1 I also love the Brian Kelly press conference when someone from LSU asked them about the famous 13-minute on the field game in 2010 when Tennessee had won the game, the game was over, and then the rest were like, nope, they had 13 men on the field, you know, one more play.

Speaker 1 And Brian Kelly was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'll have to look into it.
It's like, it happened in 2010.

Speaker 1 It didn't happen in like 1972. Like, you were coaching college football when that happened.

Speaker 1 That was a pretty big game and a pretty crazy moment that happened in that year that you were alive coaching college football. So he just, you know, doesn't want to learn LSU history.

Speaker 1 I just kind of appreciate that.

Speaker 4 I just want, I want Tennessee to remain undefeated until they play Alabama.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's what I want.
That would be fun.

Speaker 4 Because that game will be fun.

Speaker 1 And then the only other thing I had was USC just has too many towel guys.

Speaker 5 I don't know if you saw that clip.

Speaker 1 They have towel guys up the ass just whipping at people every single time they get a big play. Okay.
Which is, I guess, a culture change. I think that's what they're trying to do.

Speaker 4 More towels?

Speaker 1 They're trying to change. Just watch this clip and tell me if you think there's maybe too many towel guys.

Speaker 1 We'll put this in the YouTube.

Speaker 1 Basically,

Speaker 1 he just gets assaulted on the sideline with towel guys.

Speaker 4 That's the Deshaun Watson method.

Speaker 1 They have like four guys, yeah, four guys just whipping towels at people. Yeah, that's that's that's culture.
That's culture.

Speaker 4 Um, would anybody in this room like to apologize regarding the discussion about JMU being ranked in the top 25?

Speaker 1 Uh are they ranked?

Speaker 4 The discussion's happening.

Speaker 1 No, I said the discussion was happening.

Speaker 4 The discussion's happening. Um, they, I think they got like 11 votes to be ranked in the top 25.

Speaker 1 39. Whoa, 39 this week.

Speaker 4 In the AP poll.

Speaker 1 Let's see. No, I said the discussion was happening.

Speaker 1 It also happened three weeks ago when they didn't get any votes, but now it's happening.

Speaker 4 Well, no, the discussion started to happen after they beat Appalachian State.

Speaker 4 I was having the discussion of if they beat Appalachian State, there will be a discussion, right?

Speaker 1 Which I was correct about.

Speaker 1 Oh, because the discussion had happened.

Speaker 4 The discussion happened already, but then it happened after that win, too. So now

Speaker 4 they've got Arkansas State on the road. They've got another game, I think, Georgia State.
And then easy wins. They should be wins.
And then they got Marshall at home.

Speaker 4 They will be ranked at least 23 if they go into that game.

Speaker 4 at what would that be, 6-0?

Speaker 4 And I will be back on campus at the homecoming for that Marshall game if they're undefeated at that moment.

Speaker 1 You have to.

Speaker 4 It's pretty crazy the fact that this is their first year as a big boy program, and they're undefeated. Now, granted, they haven't played like a world beater schedule yet.
I think they're hardest.

Speaker 1 Hey, you are what you recognize.

Speaker 4 Their hardest game on paper, I think, would be Louisville, who stinks. Louisville stinks out loud.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But it's just crazy to think that

Speaker 4 James Madison will be ranked if they win the next bowl games.

Speaker 1 They're going to be playing in a bowl game on December 21st. It's going to be great.
I'm going to bet it and I'm going to love it.

Speaker 4 They can't.

Speaker 1 Why? Oh, because they got it banned for three years.

Speaker 4 They got,

Speaker 4 I don't know if it's three years, but it's definitely this year. Damn.
They got excluded from the postseason.

Speaker 4 Because they moved up. You know what? We should start that movement.

Speaker 1 That's bullshit.

Speaker 4 Let the kids play.

Speaker 4 You shouldn't punish the kids just like last year. You shouldn't punish any team that moves up to Division I,

Speaker 4 whether it be like women's lacrosse, men's soccer, men's football, they should not be punished for something that the school did to move them up to the next division.

Speaker 5 That's hashtag bullshit.

Speaker 4 Hashtag bullshit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bullshit.

Speaker 4 Bullshit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let the kids play.
Let the kids play. I agree.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do hot seat cool drone. Then we have Kyle Long in studio.
Awesome interview. And like I said at the top, Blake Griffin, or sorry, Blake Bortles.
One question with the quarterback.

Speaker 1 Some breaking news. All-time Blake moment.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's PFT here reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Hot seat, cool thrown. Hank.

Speaker 7 My hot seat is the Suns.

Speaker 1 The Suns.

Speaker 7 Not the Sun, the Suns, the basketball team.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 NBA basketball is back. It's way too soon, but it's back.
They're playing preseason games, and the Suns lost their first games. Good for us.
They lost to an NBL team, an Australian league team, the...

Speaker 7 Adelaide 36ers.

Speaker 1 How did Chris Paul do, though, legacy-wise?

Speaker 7 I mean, that's bad for your legacy.

Speaker 4 That is bad for your legacy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to count that as another.

Speaker 1 I'm going to count that as another 3-1 lead blown.

Speaker 7 Did he play? I doubt it. I'll check.

Speaker 4 Well, that even more counts. Like he left his teammates out to drive.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 That's got to be. You can't overlook the 36ers.

Speaker 1 Suns versus NBL.

Speaker 4 It's a tale as old as time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's stunning loss.

Speaker 1 Stunning preseason loss.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 7 they had all the controversy with their team in the offseason.

Speaker 7 A team that was so promising a few years ago seems to be falling apart at the seams.

Speaker 4 Ever since they stopped.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, verbal meme. It's AJ Tede's.

Speaker 1 I ain't right back.

Speaker 4 They need to get back in touch with her. It seems like the whole team's been cursed ever since they just ignored the story.
They should have leaned into that a little bit more, I think.

Speaker 1 Wait, Chris Paul played. Yeah, oh, he did play.
Six points. Are you saying that a Chris Paul team has kind of self-destructed? No.
It appears that way. Oh, come on.
No way.

Speaker 1 I don't believe it.

Speaker 1 That was a fun hot seat.

Speaker 9 Thank you.

Speaker 4 Remember when they were going to get KD like two months ago?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 7 Then my cool throne is chili.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. It's out.
Chili video out.

Speaker 7 Go watch it.

Speaker 1 I watched the preview and I laughed just knowing what was in store.

Speaker 7 Part of my take YouTube. Check it out.

Speaker 1 Billy tried to kill us. So tune in to Billy Trying to Kill Us.

Speaker 5 Billy, you want to preview it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Billy, how would you describe your character in this? Your story arc?

Speaker 4 I tried something controversial didn't work out you tried to poison us tried to kill us i didn't try to kill them i just i just but if you had i didn't go by the book right well it was so unbuy the book that brian bobgarner warned us before we it was supposed to be a blind test i don't want to give away too much but before we had one certain person's chili brian told us like please don't eat too much of that it will poison you yeah

Speaker 4 not alternate facts okay okay uh pft your hot seat cool to run um my hot seat is dana white oh yeah. Dana White got put on the hot seat big time.
He did an interview.

Speaker 4 I don't know who he did the interview with. It was on like the USC main account or UFC main account.
And he said that he went to go get a test with some sort of doctor.

Speaker 4 And the doctor told him that he's going to die in 10.4 years. Yep.
So apparently this doctor has a test that they can run where they can tell you to the month when you're going to die. Sounds legit.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So then Dana changed up his entire diet and now he says that he's extended his life.
Yeah, he did the next

Speaker 4 Because this doctor told him, hey, guess what? I can tell you exactly what foods.

Speaker 4 Why do more Americans not get this test?

Speaker 1 Well, it costs, we looked it up the other day and it costs so much money.

Speaker 1 It's the 10X

Speaker 1 Fitness Program. I think it's related to Grant Cardone, who's a 10X.
He created the 10X mindset, which is just anything you want to do in life, just do a 10X. What is the test?

Speaker 4 Is it called the 10x diet?

Speaker 1 Fitness or something?

Speaker 4 10x fitness. They measure your telomeres, which are something that are supposed to indicate how old you are biologically.

Speaker 4 So you could have like a fit, like a 23-year-old with the telomeres of the equivalent of a 55-year-old who just lives unhealthy. But there's like 55-year-olds with telomeres who are like 30.

Speaker 4 So you probably just had really old telomeres.

Speaker 1 It also was ridiculous because I don't know if you saw the clip, PFT, but Dana White was like, yeah, I was not feeling healthy. I was waking up every single night throwing up in my sleep.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, that's bad. Yeah.
That seems bad. You should probably go see a real doctor.
But he's now back.

Speaker 5 He's living life.

Speaker 4 There's something weird about, like, the more rich and powerful you get, the worse your medical choices become.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because even though you have access to make the best possible medical choice, besides Steve Jobs, who just got on a plane and went to Brazil and he's still alive to this day.

Speaker 4 But like when you have like life-changing money where you're in charge of like hundreds and hundreds of people and you're their boss, for some reason you think that the health care that they get, that's bad health care.

Speaker 4 I'm the only one that can can get the real health care. So you're not making like terrible decisions for your own body.

Speaker 1 The 10X fitness program, they have, they're selling these red lights, which Billy, you could tell me what red lights do to you, but they're like $12,000.

Speaker 1 It's, it's, it's a, it's a very genius program because you can essentially, like, what do, what do super crazy rich people, what are they most afraid of is dying because they love being super crazy rich.

Speaker 1 So they can spend money on weird science to keep them alive.

Speaker 4 He also said that he's fucking obsessed with finding out the exact month that he is on pace to die in.

Speaker 1 I also just have a theory that this guy...

Speaker 4 It's strange because, like, if somebody were to tell me, if you had to choose between like, you get to know when you're going to die and you get to know the method in which you will die.

Speaker 1 And you have to pick.

Speaker 4 But you have to pick one of them.

Speaker 4 Gun to your head.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 I think method and hoping that it's not like getting hit by a bus because then I I just have to avoid all buses for the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 I think if you have to pick one of those two, that's the one that's the only thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, knowing when you're going to die would be terrible. Be terrible, terrible, terrible.
Every single day, you'd just be like, oh, I'm going to die in this many days.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so people are, you know, the haters out there, like actual doctors, are casting aspersions on it, saying that these methods almost certainly do not work and that it's morbidly irresponsible of any doctor to say anything like this.

Speaker 4 No way. I'm going to go with Dana White.
So he's extended his life by some years because of his telemetry. Is that it, Billy?

Speaker 4 Telomeres. Telomeres.
I want to get this test, though.

Speaker 1 You could. You think so? Yeah.

Speaker 4 How much do you think it would cost?

Speaker 4 Look up telomeres test. It just basically, the longer your telomeres, like the less you've aged.

Speaker 1 Got it. Okay.

Speaker 1 Your cool throne, PFT?

Speaker 4 My cool throne is Fat Bears. Yeah.
Fat Bear Season Bitch.

Speaker 4 The National Park up in Alaska, they do this every year. I think we've covered this Fat Bear race almost every year here on Part of My Take.

Speaker 1 Shout out our guy, Zah. He's a big fan of Fat Bear Week.
Oh, he loves Fat Bear Week.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 I think we've been going through Fat Bear Week since like the very first year of Pardon My Take.

Speaker 4 The Fat Bears are back. Basically, they hibernate in a couple months, and the weeks spent up until they start to hibernate are just spent standing in a stream, gorging themselves on salmon.

Speaker 1 And you can go and look, and you can see when, you can see pictures of them coming out of hibernation and then pictures of them now when they've gained like 300 pounds.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so I've got a front runner. You can look at all the different bears and then they put them in a bracket and they compete against each other.

Speaker 4 I've got bear 747. Okay.
747 is a fucking unit.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fat Bear Week's great. It's fucking electric every single year.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seat is anyone who hates on Tony LaRussa because he's retiring because of medical issues.
So

Speaker 1 I don't know what's actually going on with him. He stopped managing the White Sox for last month, but credit to Tony.
This is the best way to retire. Being like, I'm sick.
Don't make the jokes.

Speaker 4 I would like to see his telomere test. Yes.
The doctor would just print it out and be like,

Speaker 1 you're just

Speaker 4 0.09.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you're dead.

Speaker 1 You're actually a dead person. But yeah, this is,

Speaker 1 in terms of like, it didn't go well with him as manager of the White Sox. Who would have ever thought that? But

Speaker 1 I have to give him credit, like saying, Yeah, I don't feel very good.

Speaker 1 So everyone, please be nice, is a great way to walk out of a team that completely underachieved all year.

Speaker 4 Yeah, didn't they get they got off to a good start, though, under La Russo?

Speaker 1 Last year they were okay, but this year they were so this was supposed to be the year that they put it all together, and they were just never that team from the get-go.

Speaker 4 La Russa is, if they ever do like an interim manager on a team that has some talent that's like on the cusp, I think you get like a good two, three weeks out of him, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

Speaker 4 Because I remember when he started with the White Sox, everybody was like, suck it, haters. LaRusse's system, the old school way actually still works with baseball.

Speaker 1 But now it just starts my favorite rumor always, whenever the White Sox needed new managers, Ozzie Guin should be the manager again.

Speaker 1 And he's like, he's basically saying, I know this team better than anyone.

Speaker 1 So bring him back. My cool throne is the league, or sorry, this league because Ben Simmons is back and he's shooting basketball.
So you don't have to worry about that.

Speaker 1 It was great watching the one highlight. Everyone dunked on him.

Speaker 1 It's going to be awesome when it's like a Thursday night primetime game or, you know, one of those featured games that they have and he just misses a shot. And the whole, like, this is now...

Speaker 1 This, we're, we're looking at one of the most universally hated guys on the internet.

Speaker 1 And the, the clips that are going to come out when he shoots and misses horrifically, like, he didn't even hit the rim when he shot a fadeaway last night. I'm just so ready for it.

Speaker 1 It's going to be very funny to watch.

Speaker 4 It's going to be like Trent Richardson and the holes that he's not running through all over again. It's going to be screened or Mitch Trubisky and the receivers he's not passing to all over again.

Speaker 1 The best part is, like, he's, I listen,

Speaker 1 I know Nets fans exist, but in terms of fan bases, they probably are in the low end of like strong history of fan bases that will like come back at people.

Speaker 1 So they don't, Ben Simmons doesn't even have defenders.

Speaker 1 Like if Ben Simmons was on the Lakers or the Celtics or the Sixers, well, he was on the Sixers, Sixers, but a team that had a bunch of the Raptors.

Speaker 1 Imagine Ben Simmons on the Raptors fans would go to fucking war for the guy. There's not a lot of defense for Ben Simmons.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 5 And they don't have to play defense on him. Just let him shoot.

Speaker 4 That's kind of the defense out there. Yeah.
It's kind of like the Lakers fan, or not the Lakers, the Clippers fan base, where there's a big market, but nobody out there.

Speaker 4 He's an easy target with nobody to defend him.

Speaker 1 There are fans. I might.

Speaker 1 They don't have numbers.

Speaker 10 You know what?

Speaker 4 I accept that challenge, big guy. Okay, there you go.
I will become the Ben Simmons defender. Yeah.
Guarder. The prince that was promised.
I will guard him.

Speaker 1 Hand down, man down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't even have to do that.

Speaker 4 You just stand there. I feel like it's going to be a pretty easy job to defend him.
There's the list of excuses I can come up with in my head to defend Ben Simmons.

Speaker 4 It starts and it ends at the fact that he's right-handed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also just say he plays great defense because you could just post a clip of him locking someone down and be like, no one else in the league's doing this. Mental health, big cat.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mental health.

Speaker 1 Billy, your hot seat cool to run.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Kamzat. Kamzat, the Russian fighter who we know is a great wrestler, welterweight guy.

Speaker 4 He just got detained in Russia and his passport taken, so I don't think we're going to be seeing him in the UFC anytime soon.

Speaker 1 Why did he do that?

Speaker 4 I don't know why he went back.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 4 What did he get detained for? Probably to get him.

Speaker 1 Not fighting in the army, yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A weed pen?

Speaker 4 Yeah. My cool throne is Division II Women's Soccer.
So a story is just coming out of D2 Women's Soccer. There was a head coach of UTPB, which I don't know what stands for.

Speaker 4 but the Carla Tejas basically

Speaker 1 University of Texas Peanut Butter?

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's what it sounds like. University of Texas Pacific Beach.

Speaker 1 Texas Permian Basin. Okay, Permian Basin.

Speaker 1 Really nailing it down there. So she was

Speaker 4 basically like, this sounds like it's out of Blue Mountain State. She was arrested for DWI on September 11th and asked some players to help pay her bail, which some of them did.

Speaker 4 She then got into physical interactions with members of the UTPB men's soccer team, including kissing in public. That's a physical interaction? Yeah, distributed alcohol to minors.

Speaker 4 She was ejected. It looks like she fucking parties.
She was ejected from a game. It sounds like Alex Morgan when she went to Epcot Center.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sounds like the Prime Minister of Finland or whatever.

Speaker 4 She was ejected from a game, and then she re-entered. You bonk.

Speaker 1 I just said the Prime Minister. Valid.
Yeah. She yourself.

Speaker 4 This one's pretty funny. How did you know who the Prime Minister of Finland was, Hack?

Speaker 1 Because he bonked. Because

Speaker 7 I'm well-versed on geopolitical studies.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, keep going with this scintillating division.

Speaker 4 She could work in Thailand. No, we should change names.
She got ejected from a game and then came back into the game with a disguise.

Speaker 1 Oh, Bobby Valentine. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 4 And then she was continuing to coach via Walkie-Talkie. And then an anonymous group alleges that she encouraged her students to cheat on classes.
Kind of crazy.

Speaker 1 She's just a bad girl of soccer. Every coach does that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, this is Mac Brown.

Speaker 4 This is basically Nick Sabin.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just didn't know that they did it like that. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I liked you.

Speaker 4 Do you happen to have any pictures of her?

Speaker 5 I actually looked for some.

Speaker 4 Don't think they're bonkable.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. That wasn't his question.
Yeah. I was

Speaker 1 just asking.

Speaker 1 We know what you're looking for.

Speaker 5 No, I was just curious.

Speaker 4 I wanted to put a face to the activity.

Speaker 1 Let PFT decide. Jake.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 4 Jake, my hot hot seat is love.

Speaker 1 We have breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Oh, breaking moves.

Speaker 1 This doesn't matter. Come on, breaking moves.

Speaker 1 Whoa, you're not going to do it?

Speaker 4 According to the New York Post, Tom Brady and Giselle have hired divorce lawyers.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's why it doesn't matter. Can we get a real cow for this? Breaking Moose.

Speaker 1 Oh, all right. I'll do it.
Breaking Moose.

Speaker 4 I just want to say, Giselle, I know you're going through a lot, and we've been going back and forth a little bit these last couple weeks, and I can understand you were a little bit jealous when I did reach out to Marjorie Taylor Greene, but I just want to say that if you need to discuss any of this, I know it's going to be tough on you and the family.

Speaker 4 I'm just a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, whatever you want to say. I'm an open book, so just feel free.

Speaker 1 What does this mean for Tom Brady's legacy that he chose football over family?

Speaker 1 Again?

Speaker 1 Football guy. Okay.
It is the, he should be football guy of the week. Plays the goat.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Now, what if he gets back?

Speaker 7 But also, these are sources.

Speaker 7 Jake's not really being a Pokemon.

Speaker 4 I literally said, according to the New York Post. Which.

Speaker 7 Can you trust the New York Post?

Speaker 1 That's Derek Eater. That's a great fucking headline.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Good hot seat.

Speaker 1 What if he gets distressed?

Speaker 4 If he gets back with Bridget Moynihan, then he's choosing his family over football again. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 So that would be nice.

Speaker 4 Your cool throne. My cool throne is Steph Curry.
He is going to be playable in the new PGA 2K game.

Speaker 5 So that's not even his sport, and he's in the game.

Speaker 1 Does it all be pretty sick? What a beast. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basketball's back way too fast.

Speaker 4 And hockey. Oh, yeah.
I had a reminder. Yeah, hockey started.
Hockey started.

Speaker 1 Although, if we're in the trust tree here, fellas, I have been betting a little preseason hockey, and I have been doing okay.

Speaker 4 So that was trust tree. I had a reminder for you.

Speaker 1 On Saturday, I was

Speaker 1 like the New York Rangers versus the fucking.

Speaker 1 I bet the Reds.

Speaker 1 I bet the Red Wings against the Blackhawks on Saturday. That was an easy winner.
I bet the Kraken under on Saturday, easy winner.

Speaker 1 And it was found money because I was struggling through college football and I was like, boom, preseason hockey, easy winners. Listen,

Speaker 1 if the bet wins, I shouldn't have to apologize for it. No, that's fair.

Speaker 4 I had a reminder for you to bet on the NBA Abu Dhabi preseason games this week.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Because you said it would be at a random time.

Speaker 1 So you have

Speaker 4 Buckshawks Thursday at noon and Saturday at noon. Love it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Abu Dhabi.
Time zones. In, in, in.

Speaker 1 Okay, good job, Jake.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, one of our good, good friends, longtime friends. It's been way too long since you've been on the show.
It is Kyle Long, who is still getting comfortable.

Speaker 1 Retired?

Speaker 5 Retired. Officially.

Speaker 1 Oh, but you're never retired. I was talking to an old dude today.
My father-in-law was kicking my ass to the

Speaker 1 golf course. We played like a pitch and putt today, and we had a third party member who was a random.
And his name was Ed, Trader Joe's employee, loves the benefits at TJ's.

Speaker 1 He was talking about, you know, all kinds of stuff they offer, but one thing he said is, you know, this is my retirement job. And I was thinking to myself, you're never really retired.
You're right.

Speaker 1 Even when you're done with the main thing, there's always something. There's side quests.
It's like GTA. We all beat the game eventually.
And then what else do you do?

Speaker 1 So our football side quests are retired. Football side quests are retired.
Dude, I still think you could be out there.

Speaker 4 What if we get a call right now?

Speaker 1 I'm coaching high school, and it's fun. I get those juices out.

Speaker 4 I'm getting a text right now. It's from Andy Reid.

Speaker 4 He says, hey, if Kyle's with you right now, I saw you guys interacting on Twitter.

Speaker 4 We're going to offer him $15 million to play the rest of the season.

Speaker 1 $15 million? I need it in writing, Big Red. But that's a yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I heard it in writing. If it's a contract, I have a CBS contract, CBS Sports.
That's where you can find me, Billy Football.

Speaker 1 If you like to watch me, if you were a fan of me on the field, you should check me out. CBS Sports on Sunday mornings, that other pregame show.

Speaker 1 Mondays, Green Light Pot. I'm getting the plug out of the way.
Yeah. So we can just hang out.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 has Chris made you sign a contract? I have signed a contract. contract.
Oh, shit. Chris is my boss.
Damn. Wow.
That sucks. You've got to retire from that.
I bent the knee. Yeah.
Shit.

Speaker 1 He made you do the whole thing. He did it.
Yeah. He's like, the whole.

Speaker 1 He put face paint on me. He's got pads.
He's like, you know, the sword came out. He wore the dog mask from Philly.
Howie Jr.'s just sitting in the sideline being like, this is so stupid.

Speaker 1 Why would you ever do this? Yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 he's happy that we're friends. He's happy that we get to make content together.
And Chris and I are kind of finding our way at the pod. You know, I sit at the desk with him.

Speaker 1 and at first I don't know my place because I've been playing and he's been making content.

Speaker 1 He's been running a media company, which is the undertaking is so much more than just showing up and saying funny, interesting shit. It is.
And people don't realize that.

Speaker 1 And I've seen that side of it and how stressful it can be. And now I'm at the desk and I don't want to fuck it up.
And I'm getting a text from Chris that's like, hey, we're really having a good time.

Speaker 1 This isn't stressful for me, by the way. He's like, so let's fucking keep having fun.
Yeah. And that's what it's all about.

Speaker 4 What's the drug testing policy like over at Greenlight?

Speaker 1 You know, I'm still figuring out the boundaries in the office place,

Speaker 1 but you try to keep things separate from work and home. Yeah, work hard, play hard.
Yeah, that would be ironic if Chris was just like, no weed in the office.

Speaker 1 Big Howie always said there's a time to work and there's a time to play. But it is true.
Chris, like, you know, we've obviously been close friends with Chris for a very long time as well.

Speaker 1 I think when he started the podcast and the media company, it was very stressful. He was like, this is a lot harder than I thought, but you guys have found like a really nice

Speaker 1 footing and it feels like you've hit your groove it's nice to to know that the things that i consider my weaknesses are absolutely chris's strengths yeah the details the preparation uh he's got he's a real gritty guy he stays up late late nights early mornings he's you know father of two uh shout out to the fathers out there i got i got a nearly six-month-old daughter out there shout out um and yeah so chris is uh chris is burning the candle on both ends but on my end i can just show up and be loose and shoot shoot from the hip.

Speaker 1 And a lot of the shit they're going to have to cut out of the show. And that takes longer on the back end.
But, you know, if we have fun, people get to look into what we're really like. Right.

Speaker 1 And we've never really had that. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Hanging out with you guys for me has always been fun and always been a pleasure because I can just fucking hang out and pack a dip and feel like myself and relax.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, why is all this equipment in here? We're just talking. Right.
That's how it is with Chris now. Sometimes they'll be like, hey, talk into the mic.
Don't talk to Chris.

Speaker 1 I'm like, but I am talking to Chris.

Speaker 4 Right. That's pretty cool.
Does Chris ever like text you before a show? He's like, hey, we're going to talk about bridges today. So just prepare like your top five bridges.
Yeah, he can.

Speaker 4 Because he gets into these weird,

Speaker 4 like, he'll see something online and he'll get really into it for a second and be like, we're going to do like 30 minutes on this one thing that I'm doing a deep dive on.

Speaker 1 He loves deep dives. I mean, like anybody else, and Billy can appreciate this one as well.
I've got a strange YouTube algorithm for whatever reason.

Speaker 1 When I go to youtube.com on any of my devices, it pops up some weird shit, but I love the deep dives I've taken. Um, bridges could be one of them, you know what I'm saying? Triangles.

Speaker 1 I referenced bridges. A coach from the Bears corrected my blocking technique one time.
He said, You got a triangle going on down there. And I said, Hey, coach, have you ever seen a fucking bridge?

Speaker 1 They use triangles

Speaker 1 because they're the strong,

Speaker 1 baby.

Speaker 4 Let's talk triangles real quick. Uh, I like to ask people, fuck Mary Kill, equilateral, isosceles, or scalene.

Speaker 1 I think you marry the equilateral.

Speaker 1 The isosceles, that's the one with one wide angle and a long line.

Speaker 4 The isosceles is one that has like two are the same, two are the same length, and then one is different length, I think.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 that would be the F-word. I would F-word.
Yeah, you fucked that one out. It looks good.

Speaker 4 Mine's a little bit different. I fuck the scalene.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Because it's crazy as shit.

Speaker 1 You'll have a great time. And there's one character trait dragged out to 99.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like

Speaker 1 a Madden rating. I know you do, too.

Speaker 4 The scalene is awesome for one night. The isosceles, I would would marry the isosceles because it's pretty, it's cool, and it's also like a little bit quirky.

Speaker 4 And you can see yourself not being bored with it. The equilateral is just, it's almost too perfect.

Speaker 1 Perfect, yeah. See, and this reminds me of hanging out on the couch with Chris because we can talk about shit like this and deep dive it.
And you guys do it with everybody, but you know Chris's mind.

Speaker 1 He's a UVA gentleman. He considers himself to be an educated

Speaker 1 person, I guess you could say. So man of the world.
I don't. Junior college associate arts degree.
You can go a long long way with an associate arts degree. My cape and my hat.

Speaker 1 I don't even, my cap and my gown, not my cape.

Speaker 1 I'm not a superhero. This guy wears college.
I'm not a superhero. It didn't even fit.
I walked across and I was like, this shit doesn't even fit, but they're going to give me that piece of paper.

Speaker 1 I got that cape, though. Chris is educated.
He wants to deep dive everything, and I appreciate that about him. And that's why we play off each other well in the studio.
Yes. All right.

Speaker 1 Awkward question for you for the Howie and Chris being around them. Do they ever fuck with you and like, hey, you don't have a Super Bowl ring? I mean, it has come up, I guess.

Speaker 1 Because if I were one of them, I would do that to you all. Dad, I mean, Dad does it all the time, I guess.

Speaker 1 You know, subconsciously, he does it. Without even doing it, I'm thinking that he's doing it in his mind.
And it works, right?

Speaker 1 Like, you just think about him holding his hand like this with a ring over it.

Speaker 1 Or he'll just look at you and be like, not Super Bowl material. Yeah, not Super Bowl material.
Hey,

Speaker 1 you're playing. I remember there was a lot of talks with him that was like,

Speaker 1 this is the test of a man. Are you going to show up and play football when your team is 3-12? It's week 16, and you're in, you know, whatever, Minnesota.
And I probably gave up a sack that game, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and blamed it on Jay not stepping up. No, you didn't give up a sack.
As per usual, no, go watch the film. Brian Robinson, good player.
White guy. You did not give up.

Speaker 1 You were a very good player.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you my hall of favor.

Speaker 4 Sometimes who's better? You or Chris? At the peak of your powers?

Speaker 1 Chris

Speaker 1 was a sack getter and a run stopper. I was

Speaker 1 probably a much better run blocker than I am a pass blocker. He was more complete.
He was an equilateral triangle. Yeah.
Equi-angular. Yeah.
Yeah. Is it equi-angular?

Speaker 4 I think it's, you can say whatever. Like

Speaker 1 equi-angular sounds way cooler. You're how that sounds sick.
You, you're, the fact that you even know what a triangle is with your cape and hat. Yeah.
Like you're doing well. That's good.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're getting started on the right foot. Do you remember? Um, I remember so vividly we went to a Blackhawks game.
It was your rookie year. Yes.
And it was like, you were like, this is is awesome.

Speaker 1 Like, everyone's like, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, fucking, you're the man. And then, like, and then they're booing you out of the game.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, like, the bears happened, and you're like, oh, shit. It was justn't as fun.
It was a pro, it was a learning process, man. You guys are so good to me, early, like, particularly you, big cat.

Speaker 1 And I appreciate that. I've never thanked you publicly, but it's like, hey, you're welcome.

Speaker 1 You know, the media, I didn't know how to navigate it. It's a huge market out there.

Speaker 1 And I can see why guys like Justin Fields are struggling and sometimes they're at a loss for words or the right words to say. Dude, I actually Jay was like, go to the podium.

Speaker 1 I'm not fucking doing that. And I had experience as a rookie.
So I referenced you twice last week because Justin Fields obviously had his comments where he was like,

Speaker 1 we care more. And fans got mad about that.
And I said that was actually very similar. Remember after, I think it was the Dolphins game and you were like unacceptable for the fans to boo us.

Speaker 1 And everyone was like, no, fuck you, dude. It's unacceptable that you say that.

Speaker 1 He needs a friend like you in Chicago to reach out and say, hey, like, just don't say say that. That's right.
Yeah. You're fucking right.
But don't say it.

Speaker 1 But people's wounds are just as fresh as yours. And they can't wait to point two fingers, the middle ones, at you.

Speaker 1 And then the other one I referenced was: we were talking, we were joking about how every podcast has a QB on every week now.

Speaker 1 And I was saying that Jay always did it the right way because he did Waddle and Sylvie.

Speaker 1 And then as soon as the Bears season took a turn, he'd just be like, hey, Kyle, why don't you go fill in for me for the rest of the season? I was the first one.

Speaker 1 It's funny that you mentioned that. Because you'd have to go after the worst.
The first Jay Cutler show on a Monday evening in Wheeling was,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm sitting in front of the Jay Cutler show banner and I'm talking to these guys. And the special guest that they had a big surprise for was Brian Erlacher.

Speaker 1 So I got upstage by the banner and the Hall of Famer. And then he took off his hat and he had a full head of hair.

Speaker 1 It was like...

Speaker 1 Every day kept compounding. It was getting worse.
Like we lost. Jay didn't show up.
Erlacher did. He took his fucking hat off.
He wasn't bald anymore.

Speaker 1 Dude, you were a trooper, though, because it was like literally after every bad loss, you just turn on the radio and be like, all right, welcome to the Jay Cutler show on Waddle and Sylvie.

Speaker 1 We got Kyle Long in today. Just like, so Kyle,

Speaker 1 when you guys, you know, lost by 20, 28 this weekend, how'd that feel? You just sit there and take it. Like, I missed seven blocks.
I counted them. They were all my fault.

Speaker 4 So what is the roadmap?

Speaker 4 If you're giving Justin Fields advice on how to handle the media, because we've talked about it a little bit, and I think I've come to the conclusion that there's a lot of stuff that you just have to lie about all the time.

Speaker 4 Like, especially if you're a quarterback, you can't be honest. There's no way that you can be completely honest and have people happy with you.

Speaker 4 Because, of course, you don't give a shit about every single fan in attendance. You care more about the people that you go to work with every day that you practice with.

Speaker 4 I think everybody would feel that way. It's not to say that you don't care about the fans, but you probably care more about the guy that you spend, you know, 80 hours a week next to fighting with.

Speaker 4 You just can't say it. So

Speaker 4 what would your advice be? Like, what are some things not to say or some things that you found that you can just like pull out of your ass at any time and just like throw that out?

Speaker 4 Here's some red meat. There you go.

Speaker 1 Pretty basically, I would say be yourself, but always keep in mind how the message is going to be received.

Speaker 1 So, there's two parties to the phone call that you're making. You know, you're going to say something, and then somebody's going to be on the receiving end, and how are they going to receive it?

Speaker 1 Be yourself. The emotion is going to be there.

Speaker 1 People don't need a calculator to figure out how you feel about it, but the way you put it can set you up to have 20, 30, 40, 50 years of success in that city.

Speaker 1 People will love you based on how you treat them. And in large part, a lot of people aren't going to meet you.
So what you say to them on camera feels like their first time meeting you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's really smart.

Speaker 4 It's a good point to think about it. Like if you, even if you have like a mediocre career in a certain city, especially if it's a big city like Chicago,

Speaker 4 if you're just nice to the media there and fans like you, you're right. Like you will be set up if you want to get into, I don't know, like opening restaurants or a car dealership or whatever.

Speaker 4 People are going to remember that.

Speaker 1 They're like, I saw him on that interview one time. And he always played his foot.

Speaker 1 He mentioned his kid. And you know what? I fucking respect him.
Yeah, right, right. He talked about bear weather and played hard.

Speaker 1 All you have to do, Virginia McCassey, the goal every week, she would, you know, we'd get the goal from, you know, I talked to Virginia. Here's what she said.
Play hard-nosed bear football.

Speaker 1 That's all they fucking care about. You should play hard and beat the shit out of people and then beat the Packers.
That's like, that's rule number one. But that doesn't.

Speaker 1 So maybe, like, has she thought about like, let's let it fly or something? I don't know. Like, throw a title.
Technically sound football.

Speaker 4 Maybe just reversing one and two, beat the Packers one, and then

Speaker 1 beat them up too. Or just take it off the list.
Do you, was it weird when you went to Kansas City? Was it like, oh, this is how a regular organization is run? It was,

Speaker 1 it was really, really a breath of fresh air for me being around the best in the game at multiple positions, at multiple coaching positions.

Speaker 1 There were players that I remember from when I was growing up that were on the staff helping out, and players listen to those guys. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Dave Tob, the special teams legends and the Chicago Blacks. We had a rough one last week.
We're going to give him a get out of jail free card just based on the pelts on the wall for Dave Toby.

Speaker 1 Well, the roof was open. Yeah, Jim Merce.
PFD called it. The roof was open.
That was fucked him up.

Speaker 4 He opened the roof. The sun came in on Kelsey's touchdown catch.

Speaker 1 And Sky Moore. Yeah, on Sky Moore.
Sky Moore. It was

Speaker 1 skies equals.

Speaker 1 No. It was too many skies.
Too many skies. Too many skies.
Skies is more. Yeah.
Yeah. So,

Speaker 1 yeah, no, but it was, I'm sure, like, and being around Mahomes. So, yeah, yeah.
I'll pick up where I left off. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 So, Andy Reed, first off, is a great coach, but it begins with his ability to teach. And he can find guys who need teaching.

Speaker 1 It's like that really cool high school teacher that you had, or that one teacher you remember from middle school, you were like, fuck everybody, but that guy was awesome.

Speaker 1 And he had our backs and he cared about us. That's Andy Reid.
And he loves working with Misfit Toys and I consider myself one as well. And he loved working on me and messing with me.

Speaker 1 Coming out of retirement, he had a lot of questions for me. Patrick Mahomes treated me like I'd played with him for 10 years.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 And I was a, you know, I was slotted to be the starting right guard and I broke my leg in the last week of OTAs.

Speaker 1 You know, Pat fucking. took me to his golf tournament in Hawaii.
Travis

Speaker 1 Kelsey treated me like a brother. And, you know, you love that.
And you earn that through a career of treating people the right way. I go back to the Justin Fields thing.

Speaker 1 It's like you treat your teammates the right way. You treat the fans the right way.
You play the game the right way. Yeah.
It all comes back to you. Right.

Speaker 4 So, what was it about? What does Andy Reed do in practice? Like, is he a hands-on guy?

Speaker 4 Because I, without ever having watched him in a practice or like observed him close up, he seems like he's been around for so long that he kind of would be a guy who could sit back and who could just, you know, design what the game plan is going to be and not like a hands-on coach's coach?

Speaker 1 Like Bobby Bowden in the tower versus a coach on the field.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so what was his vibe?

Speaker 1 Andy's, you know, the guy that's walking around stretch lines and he'll slap you on the helmet and say something quirky.

Speaker 1 You know, it's almost like the Joey Molinaro skits where he does the coaches because that's exactly what it's like. He's down there with the guys.

Speaker 1 Everybody loves it when Big Red comes up to you, says something. And when he leaves, everybody's going to fine you for getting called out by the head coach in a good or a bad way.

Speaker 1 But Andy, he wears Air Force Ones every day, icy whites. He's got the knee-high socks on.

Speaker 1 Shorts. He loves watching.
I'm thinking in my head, he loves going to watch the offensive line during individuals.

Speaker 1 So, like, right when stretch breaks and we go to our individual period, he's down there with the O-line. He loves watching O-line.
That's what he's into.

Speaker 1 I think that's why I took a liking to him, even more so than I already have.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what about Mahomes? Did he get you a present? He did. Where did he get the O-lineman?

Speaker 1 I love those stories. I'm wearing it tonight, actually.

Speaker 4 That watch?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a Batman Rolex.

Speaker 1 Oh, i don't have a nice watch and and he got the entire align watches it's pretty sick that's amazing is that the best gift you've ever gotten i've gotten some awesome gifts but this has to be the one that i get the most use out of yeah when you were you you were obviously on the sideline for the bills game right yeah it was awesome that so i actually weirdly enough i happened to uh they were playing it i think on espn last night they were doing like the mic'd up uh retrospective of the game um that moment when travis kelsey with like seven seconds left just turned to Mahomes.

Speaker 1 He's like, yo, I'm going to be open up the seam here.

Speaker 1 And then Mahomes is like, do it, do it, do it.

Speaker 1 Right before he snaps the ball. The play happened before the play.
It was crazy. It was like something I'd never seen before.

Speaker 1 And I'll go back to the things I was appreciative about being there is you get to see the synergy of the Hall of Famers. Travis Kelsey puts in work.

Speaker 1 When the offense and defense are over there doing their drills, sometimes Travis will take five minutes and I watch him. He goes to the other field and he closes his eyes.
He walks through routes.

Speaker 1 He visualizes things. And you kind of laugh at him.
You're like, what's Mr. Miyagi doing over there?

Speaker 1 And then he goes out and you see the same three moves that he was practicing over there come to life on the field.

Speaker 1 It could be against the Chargers when he caught that ball over the middle and went for goddamn 99, whatever the hell it was. Yep.
The game was over. Same thing with the Bills game.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, Pat and Travis finding a way to link up. And man, it's so special to watch.

Speaker 1 It was very, very cool for him to just like backyard football be like, hey, look,

Speaker 1 I see the leverage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I see the leverage the cornerback has just i'm just gonna run up the seam here and just hit me and he did and it was like that was the game and then it was i don't know that was that first game that chris went to when i was on the chiefs and because i was like i was back in pads i was on the active roster i was you know next man up and i was ready and were you doing special teams uh i wasn't i was just backup right tackle right guard ready to go and uh every day i went against frank clark and at first i was on one and a half legs and then uh They put me in at guard and I had to figure out how to get on two legs against Chris Jones.

Speaker 1 Again, the same, like he landed on me inadvertently in the spring, and that's how I got my leg broken. But going back against him was like a mental hurdle.
So I was ready to go. That Bills game.

Speaker 1 Dad was there as well in the suite. So they got to watch that game.
And dad now has an in-person appreciation for what Patrick can do and what the offense is capable of. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 How long did it take, or I guess this is valid this year too, but for you last year, how long does it take an offensive line to gel? Because what I'm looking at right now is the Bengals, right?

Speaker 4 The Bengals, I guess in theory, upgraded their line, but we haven't seen the results of that just yet.

Speaker 4 So if you're putting Misfit Toys, as you call it, together, you know, they might be talented, never played before. How long does that take to become like a unit?

Speaker 1 I would say it takes at least four to five live weeks before you start to really feel comfortable playing next to a guy, let alone an entire patchwork offensive line.

Speaker 1 Now, the one thing you have to think about is two of their guys came from Super Bowl champion teams.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 they get a lineman from Karis, right? They get Karis

Speaker 1 from the Patriots. He's a Super Bowl winner.
Right. They get Alex Kappa from the Bucs, Super Bowl winner.
You bring an absolute hitman in, Lael Collins, and put him at right tackle.

Speaker 1 You think it's going to work immediately, but then you go look at it, and Jonah Williams is having technical issues on the left side.

Speaker 1 I talked about it on the Greenlight pod. He's flashing hands.
He's dropping his hand instead of making first significant touch.

Speaker 1 They want to pull a guy on power, but the deuce is getting blown up and the puller can't make it around. It's little thing.
It's like the fundamentals of football, which goes to your point.

Speaker 1 It takes a while for these guys to gel. They know how to play football, but they haven't figured out how to do it together yet.

Speaker 4 Are there certain types of players that you would take longer than others to learn how to play next to?

Speaker 1 Oh, man, that's a really good question.

Speaker 4 Billy.

Speaker 1 Good question. A guy that's really easy to play next to.
The easiest guy I ever played next to was like Charles Leno, Charles Leno Jr. of the Commanders.

Speaker 1 You know, his technique was something that you saw repeated every day in practice. He worked it and he did it intentionally.

Speaker 1 So if I'm watching him do his technique, if we get in a certain situation in the game, I know exactly how he's going to play it because I've seen him do it a million times.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen him do it another way. You get a guy who's kind of a physical freak, but maybe not a technician.
He gets in there. He goes what we like to call rogue

Speaker 1 in the offensive line rooms. Just like any guy gets pissed off.
A guy gets pissed off. Maybe he got beat the last series and the sack didn't happen, but he remembers that it happened and he's pissed.

Speaker 1 He may go rogue and his technique goes out of play.

Speaker 1 And if there's a combination with him in the center, if there's a combination with him in the tackle, he may not be in the right mindset to do the right technique.

Speaker 1 A guy like Charles Leno, very easy to play next to. The guy who goes rogue, that's not good.
It doesn't look good for him, doesn't look good for me, and somebody's going to get hit.

Speaker 4 But I understand the mentality because it's such a physical position that if you get beat, it's like it's human nature to want to go out there and want to get that guy back.

Speaker 1 You have to remain calm and you have to understand that that play happened and that you get another opportunity and potentially dozens more to go get after somebody.

Speaker 1 But you have to do it the right way. Who would you say on a football team, what room is the biggest group of psychos? Would it be off? Defensive line.
Okay. I've heard defensive line.

Speaker 1 No, I would say cornerbacks. If cornerbacks were any bigger, we would have to just put them all away.

Speaker 1 They just have so much confidence. And you have to.
You have to just put them away. Put them down.
They just have so much confidence at all times.

Speaker 1 All cornerbacks, safeties, there's some guys that are different, but the cornerbacks in particular are psychopaths. Defensive linemen are just, you know, standard looney bin characters.

Speaker 4 Yeah, cornerbacks, you have to be really good at cheating. That's what I've figured out about the position.

Speaker 4 The best players in the cornerback position are the ones who get away with cheating all the time. And they figured out the tricks of how you can cheat and not get caught.

Speaker 4 Because if you don't cheat playing cornerback, the rules are set up to the point where it's impossible to play the position fairly. You can't be a good cornerback and not cheat.

Speaker 4 It's just actually not possible to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're cheating in their technique, obviously, and sometimes they get away with it, to your point, but they're also cheating in percentages.

Speaker 1 I played with Kyle Fuller, who is one of the best cheaters when it comes to prep. These guys are so confident in their percentages.
I know on third and seven, he's going to throw that hitch.

Speaker 1 I know he's going to throw the hitch. And then he breaks on it.
He makes it. Next third and seven, I know he's going to throw the hitch.

Speaker 1 He's gone for a nine route. Yeah, right.
Kyle Fuller led the league in picks because he prepared. Right.
A lot of corners don't prepare.

Speaker 1 They just believe in their instinct and they trust their gut back to the psychopath. Yeah, craziest confidence by far on the field.

Speaker 1 It has to be because it's also the position like you're on an island more than anyone else. You're not with your teammates half the time.
They lead the league in pointing at other people.

Speaker 4 My favorite is like right as the ball is going over their head, they look around and they start looking like, where's my hope? Where's my hope?

Speaker 1 Right. And it's also the one position where you have literally an insult saying for every time they drop a ball, you're like, That's why they're not a wide receiver.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, Oh, that's that's very true. And also, how about the my I have a real gripe with them celebrating when it's just a drop, yeah, yeah, or like

Speaker 1 you do the incomplete, or like it's an overthrown out of way out of bounds.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're gonna get roasted in meetings by your coach, you're gonna get roasted by your teammates, that's just celebrate the small stuff.

Speaker 5 You're right, yeah, especially when you're on an island, have at it.

Speaker 1 I would do it.

Speaker 4 I think it's you know, the old saying, like any day you wake up is a good day. Yeah, For them, it's like any pass that doesn't get completed to the person I'm directly

Speaker 4 assigned with covering, that's a good play.

Speaker 1 We can relate as offensive linemen there because even if you get beat and you say, throw it, Jay, right? He gets the ball out and he gets murdered, but the ball gets out and it's not a sack. Hey, man.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's blocked you. Here's a question that I feel like has, I feel like we've gotten a lot smarter,

Speaker 1 not us, but like media talking about offensive linemen and understanding what they're doing. Shout out to our guy, Jeff Schwartz.
I feel like he's at the forefront of how much.

Speaker 1 Schwartz is smarter than you. Yeah, smarter than you.
He says it right there in the podcast title.

Speaker 4 But how much

Speaker 1 would you say, like, on a given Sunday, how many sacks are offensive linemen

Speaker 1 that's on them, or it's the quarterback that's on them? They didn't step up into a clean pocket.

Speaker 1 They held the ball too long because I think we're starting to realize like people will just say, oh, Joe Burrow sacked like 13 times.

Speaker 1 Like, well, you should watch because Joe Burrow, like, he's got balls. He'll hold on to the ball till the end.
Like, that's actually good job by his offensive linemen.

Speaker 5 That's kind of on him sometimes.

Speaker 1 So, Chris always says, Joe Burrow's a quarterback without conscience. Yes.
Yes. That's a great saying.
And, you know, he's going to keep pressing. He's going to keep throwing to B.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Even if you know he's going to throw to B. He's going to hit it.
He's going to hit it last second. Because he's done it really hot before.
Yeah. So

Speaker 1 to your point with...

Speaker 1 You know, the fuck.

Speaker 1 The sacks and like how much you can attribute to like, hey, that's offensive line. A lot of it, there's a third category, and I'm trying to figure out how to say it.
So, defensive line wins. Right.

Speaker 1 Offensive line, lack of technique, or failure to be within the framework of our playbook.

Speaker 1 You know, sometimes a guy expects to have help, he doesn't have help, and it looks like shit on TV, and it only looks like shit for one guy, and that's a left tackle.

Speaker 1 Right, or like a tight end supposed to chip, and he doesn't chip, and it's like, well, that kind of fucked me up.

Speaker 1 So, there, there definitely needs to be like, I would say, out of, if there was nine sacks in the game or seven sacks in the commanders game right i think it's nine nine nine yeah okay five first half five in a row yeah yeah so i went and watched those sacks and all five of those sacks in the first half were on the offensive lineman okay really the fletcher cox sack

Speaker 1 the o-lineman got beat at the drop of a hat with an inside bull the hargrave sack he beat him with the same move at the right defensive tackle spot Charles Leno got two great hands on the guy, and if you paused it on that still frame, you would think the guy was sweat was blocked.

Speaker 1 Sweat hits him with a two-hand swipe and gets to Carson. Then you get B.G.
with a sack on the other side.

Speaker 1 They're all wins by the Eagles' D-line.

Speaker 1 Then you look at the second half. Carson might be doing too much, patting the ball, floating around in the pocket, but not really moving anywhere.

Speaker 1 Like my guy, Mitch Trubisky, I'll give him his credit. He gets out of the pocket with intent to go pull up somewhere else, but he's not going to linger around the pocket.
I I like this because

Speaker 1 Josh Allen's the same way. Right.
He leaves Aaron Rodgers very similar, but his doesn't look as explosive as Josh Allen right now.

Speaker 1 Right, but no, Aaron Rodgers have always said, like, Aaron Rodgers and Brady are very similar. Aaron Rodgers is slowly.
Brady's slow as shit, but he can get out of there.

Speaker 1 Their mobility is actually like one of their best attributes because it's like... You know, they're saying, I'm going to slide this way and not take like an extra step.
It's not that they can run.

Speaker 1 It's not often built into the protection.

Speaker 1 They know which side the rush is coming from, which way the shell is, and where the corners could be adding in late or linebackers, and they find a way to step up and find the sweet spot.

Speaker 1 Now, those quarterbacks are very rare. Right.
And they make a big living doing it, obviously. But the rest of the field here

Speaker 1 doesn't do that. And Carson Wentz.
patted the ball a little bit.

Speaker 1 He was floating into his O-linemen's backs. It's almost like he closed his eyes a little bit.

Speaker 4 I think he does. No, he does.
He actually does.

Speaker 4 He gets anxiety in the middle of plays.

Speaker 1 I can relate to that.

Speaker 4 But he's fine when he gets the ball, and then he's like, oh, shit, I have to play football right now. And then he panics.
And then, yes, you're right. He closes his eyes.
And then he just,

Speaker 4 he gets sacked by his own offensive lineman's backs probably like three times a game.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 See, and that's just pocket presence. He needs to go back and play Madden 2009.
They had those mini drills. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember these mini drills where it was like the pad would just float at you and you have to left stick around the pocket. Circle, yeah.
No right stick. You're just out there fucking.

Speaker 1 What about a guy like we were joking on Wednesday's show, Daniel Jones, who sometimes his internal clock, you're like, what is this?

Speaker 1 Like he just doesn't think there's ever going to be a defensive lineman about to tackle him.

Speaker 1 And he's just like, he should, because if you watch the film from the Micah Parsons debacle, he would understand that the right guard and the right tackle, and you know what sack I'm talking about, who's all over Twitter.

Speaker 1 He hit three guys.

Speaker 1 The right guard doesn't even know what to do with a looping three technique, and Billy would be able to tell you what to do with a looping three technique.

Speaker 1 You're going to snap off, you're going to snap off the looper, get him off the hip of your tackle, then you can receive the next guy. You know, it's a T first, and then an E comes.

Speaker 1 The T or the E, neither of them got pushed over. Both of them got pushed over.
Yeah, that's what Daniel Jones is working with.

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Speaker 4 Who's the most

Speaker 4 fearsome defensive player that you played against? Was there a guy that's like, man, this guy terrifies me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not one that we'd think of, like Sarah Donald. I'm going to give you a couple names, obviously.
2015, I played tackle and we used everything and the kitchen sink against Khalil Mack.

Speaker 1 That's when the Raiders came. They moved you to tackle.
No sacks that game. Two weeks before.

Speaker 1 My first game of that year, after they cut Jordan Mills, my best buddy, or right tackle. They literally were like, Kyle, you can play They said we need to sign a tackle.

Speaker 1 And I was like, don't sign a tackle. I can play.
And the back of my mind was like, if I can go block some people, they got to pay me like a tackle.

Speaker 1 Even a bottom-of-the-barrel tackle gets paid better than a guard.

Speaker 1 So that was your doing? Yeah. Because I felt bad for you because it was like, and I went out.
He's earning a new fucking position. The most intimidating was week one, big cat.
Julius Peppers, JFP.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And I gave up a sack on the third series or something like that. And

Speaker 1 when I went to go block him while he was already engulfing Cutler, three of my fingers separated and were laying like this on my hand. I had to put him back.
And they're like, get back out there.

Speaker 1 And I was like, God, I don't know if I love football this much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, that sucks. I went back out there and blocked.
And, you know, remember the cast I wore for like, I wore a cast for one year because I wouldn't dare put my fingers on anything.

Speaker 1 I was such, and John Fox gave me so much shit. He said, Kyle Long missed a practice with a finger today.

Speaker 1 You know, he made a point to say that at the end of the day, football sucks, man. Like, what the hell?

Speaker 4 I don't think that you could pay me enough money to have a job where I'd have to go in, dislocate all my fingers, take my other hand, put them back into place, and then go shove a 315-pound guy back.

Speaker 1 And then a man slaps you on the ass and says, get back in there. Yeah, that sucks.
The best way to do it. You're not my dad.

Speaker 1 Chris once told me a story how he was like, this is what happens when you get injured.

Speaker 1 You get injured, and if you have to go in the locker room, they take you in the locker room, and then a guy who's like 150 pounds in khakis and a team polo just stares at you kind of like sighing, like, you're not going to get back out there.

Speaker 1 And you have to just sit there and be like, fuck, I got to get it. There's always a decision out there.
One thing I give the NFL credit for is there's always a decision to be made.

Speaker 1 You always have a choice. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Right, but that guy who's like, that guy just stares at you. Like, take the red pill or the blue pill.
And I'm not saying medicine. It's like two paths you're going to take.

Speaker 1 You're either not playing and we're going to figure out how to get you to the train station. Right.

Speaker 1 Or you're going to get back in there and you're going to help your your damn team because you're a stud. Right.
Right. But yeah, that he that stuck with me when he told me that story.

Speaker 1 He's like, there's just a guy who sits there. He looks like he should be an accountant, and he just stares at you like, you pussy.
And it's like, what do you mean? Now, my fucking finger turns.

Speaker 1 So he's an orthopedic surgeon.

Speaker 1 There's a room full of three guys, and I always talk about the guys in blazers, right? Yeah. It's like the men in black.
You know, the aliens are near.

Speaker 1 But the guys in blazers, you know, that there's some MRIs coming. Yes.

Speaker 1 When they're lingering. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So, how does that work with

Speaker 4 like the Hippocratic oath oath or whatever that doctors are supposed to take, which is do no harm.

Speaker 4 But in this case, the doctors are back there and they know that if this guy decides he's going to go back into a game, he's

Speaker 1 probably going to do harm. I would say that I was never pressured to go back into a game by a guy in a blazer.
I was... often guilt tripped by trainers to get back into a game.
Right.

Speaker 1 The guys that they have, they do work for the team, the orthos. That's where they're going to send you to get shoulder surgery.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I've become friends with some of these guys, and they're legit third party looking out for the guys. Yeah.
They're never going to say, get the fuck back in the game. You're a pussy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They're not going to say that to you.
Definitely not to my face. Right.
But the trainers, they'll say anything

Speaker 1 and you can't hit them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a Pro Bowler, right? Yeah. Of course there's a Pro Bowler.
Are you bummed out about the Pro Bowl? I think that there should still be a list of Pro Bowlers at the end of every year.

Speaker 1 And I think there should be some form of fan interactive experience where the guys get to showcase their personalities first and foremost.

Speaker 1 I was thinking maybe American Gladiator style. Oh, the tennis ball style.

Speaker 1 I want to see Russell Wilson in like a spiky shoulder padded thing up there shooting tennis ball guns at linebackers.

Speaker 1 And I want to see Aaron Donald on a giant catwalk with one of those gladiator sticks just fucking people up. And then someone gets hurt and then we're like,

Speaker 1 and then I want to see a seven-on-seven game where the offensive line plays against the defensive line and the quarterbacks are real quarterbacks and you guys are running out and getting routes i want to see lane johnson and miles garrett go man to man i don't i want to see two of our best specimens on the field going at it you know what i'm saying because i got you and me we want to see freaks be freaks yeah exactly i don't care if there's a football you're you're in the freak category i always thought like you were you are how how much weight have you lost i'm about 290 right now so i was 340 when I was.

Speaker 1 I remember when we stayed at your house, too. Like, that was, we've told this story before, but, like, we stayed at your house for a few nights.
You didn't even know we were there at the end.

Speaker 1 We came up from your basement. We're like, hey, Kyle, we're going to be out of here.
And you were playing video games. You're like, oh, you guys are still here.
But your fridge was elite.

Speaker 1 You had like, you had probably like 30 frozen pizzas in the freezer just.

Speaker 1 Shout out to my buddy Nick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You had to eat the whole time because you were just like, I got it. I remember you pounded a full pizza at like 11.30 at night.
Wait, I pretended it was a chore. Well, no, you were just like,

Speaker 1 I got to keep my pizza. It was my fantasy, really.
It's playing the NFL. Like, I just, you know, you get to eat a gummy and then eat, you know, three Farrentinos pizza.

Speaker 1 And just pound some ice cream and do the whole thing. I love it.
And then you're still 12% body fat. Yeah.
3.30. All right.
So how fast do you think you throw a baseball right now?

Speaker 1 Right now, it's funny you ask.

Speaker 1 On the way to the football field from where I park at the high school where I coach, there's a baseball field where I played at in high school, and I would stop by there all the time.

Speaker 1 So I stopped by yesterday, and they were just warming up. So I grabbed the baseball and I threw a couple.
I was like, damn, I kind of got a live arm. And I walked away.

Speaker 1 It was a good time to walk away. But when I got in the car and I shut the door, my shoulder went.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I was going to say, you should try to make a baseball comeback. I need Tommy John and shoulder.
You should make a baseball comeback. Because what were you throwing at your peak?

Speaker 1 I was probably sitting 94 to 96 from the left side. You are a freak.

Speaker 4 Are you and Chris at the level in Charlottesville where just if you just show up at a random field and you're like, hey, let me get a couple tosses in? They just hand you whatever ball you want.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I pushed the dads out of the way on the field. Like all the AAU dads are just sitting over there.
I'm like, get the fuck out of the way. No, they're great.

Speaker 4 I'm 16.

Speaker 1 It's all right. Yeah.
I'm Danny Almate.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, that's the high school I played at. So it's cool to walk up there and some kids don't realize who the fuck I am.
And that's awesome.

Speaker 1 I love that because I'd love to make a first impression on people. But some kids are like, hey, idiot, that's his name on the wall like seven times.
Right.

Speaker 4 How's your job as coach going?

Speaker 1 It's fun. It's frustrating.

Speaker 1 It can be frustrating and it's rewarding. Any coach can probably relate to what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I want nothing but the best for the dudes. I work them hard.
And there's some kids who are like, I would love to play with that guy. There's some kids on our team that I'm like, That's a dog.

Speaker 1 You're cut out mentally for the NFL. I don't know if you have what it takes to go D1 or play play in the league, but some guys are tough.

Speaker 1 And then some guys are like, who made you blink like this if somebody made you come here?

Speaker 4 Yeah, just mom getting you out of the house for a while?

Speaker 1 Yeah, please. We got to rescue you.

Speaker 1 I am the babysitter for some of these guys.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 describe to me your offense.

Speaker 4 What kind of sets we run in?

Speaker 1 We like to run a lot of spread sets.

Speaker 1 We got a good running back. We got a Kristen McCaffrey type running back, and we got a quarterback who can sling it around.
So we put as many skill guys on the field and do a lot of empty protection.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 we're learning some heavier formations. We worked on double teams this week, and Coach Long was getting his ass whooped in the double teams.
I was like, if you can block me, you can block them, right?

Speaker 4 So you do jump in sometimes.

Speaker 1 I jump in there, I throw my hand on the ground, and I'm like, hey. And they're like, how hard do you want me to go? I'm like, please, harder than you're going right now.

Speaker 4 Do you miss that? Do you miss contact?

Speaker 1 I do. You miss contact, but you never want to be like, all right, Johnny, line up.
I'm going to show you what I'm drive blocking. Yeah, that becomes a viral.

Speaker 1 you're like okay you guys can hit me and i want to prove a point that working together and being hip to hip is like and you can be violent and you're still a nice kid it's okay yeah do you uh do you still talk to chip kelly at all i don't talk to chip and i wish great dude you know we got to have him on the show he's great i need to catch up he talks to my dad and they text i guess got it and i don't which is weird i would say i was i was lucky enough to spend like a long night at a bar with chip kelly over super bowl he's a beaut great dude he's a beauty we got to have him on the show he he feels like he'd fit right in.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, he revolutionized college football.
Like everyone does what Chip Kelly did 10 years ago. And now they probably do it better.
That offense was dominant.

Speaker 1 I never more in my career, middle school, little league, AAU, high school, I never felt like we were going to win more than I did stepping off the bus with the Oregon Ducks offense. My favorite, like

Speaker 1 it's sad that some of my favorite memories are just gambling memories, but that is unfortunately my brain.

Speaker 1 But one of my favorite gambling memories is betting on the Oregon Ducks and not even watching the game, but the lower third,

Speaker 1 the score bug, switching over like a minute into the game, 8-0 Oregon. And you're like, oh, yep, we're good.
We're going. We're doing it.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like literally like 1347 in the first quarter, 8-0 Oregon. They put up 48 against Fresno in the first half.
Let's go. I can shut off the app.
Yeah, right. This is sick.

Speaker 1 Like they're going for too early.

Speaker 1 We used every inch of the field. We put a guy, Marcus Mariota, a quarterback, and gave him a chance to run a juggernaut offense with a bunch of freaks on the outside.

Speaker 1 And we had some good linemen on the inside, too. But Chip Kelly knew it before we did.
Yeah. And he put us in the right places.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 What's the difference between playing that offense in college and then trying to take that to the NFL?

Speaker 1 Old men. That must have never worked.
Old men. Money.

Speaker 1 Really.

Speaker 1 Money convinces players not to go as hard and practice and train yourself to be on the ball after 12 seconds and catch the defense on their heels and be able to shove it down the defense's throat.

Speaker 1 And it's also, I always thought, because obviously Chip Kelly, that Eagles, like when they started,

Speaker 1 what was it, the first week, the Monday Night Football game, when Michael Vick had,

Speaker 1 it was like, they scored like 42 points or something.

Speaker 4 No, it was, I think it was 52 to 7.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. That's like, go look at Nick Foles' numbers.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. It's like 50 touchdowns, like three interceptions or something like that.

Speaker 1 But I always thought the problem within the NFL is like

Speaker 1 you have to give your defense a break and you can't, like, if you get, because the Chip Kelly offense is great, but if you get a three and out and it's like you score a touchdown in a minute, and then you get a three and out the next time, and then you look up and you're like, wait, our defense has been on the field for this?

Speaker 5 I never thought about it like that.

Speaker 1 I always think about it as you can rotate linemen if you're going really fast and you're trying to really out-hustle everybody.

Speaker 1 You can just put in a bunch of Charlie hustle guys, spend all your money on skill guys that are actual track athletes that can just run all day. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 What about what I think is maybe the most impressive, under-talked-about play in football is at the end of a game when you get a first down and you have to have your entire offensive line sprint like 30, 40 yards down the field, get to the line of scrimmage, and then everyone has to stand completely still before they snap the ball and spike it to get the big dudes running down the field that fast, that quickly, and then to just like stop on a dime.

Speaker 4 How much does that suck?

Speaker 1 It sucks. As a coach, I can imagine it sucks.
It's awful as a player, particularly when you're moving down at the end of the game. You're fucking gassed, bro.

Speaker 1 And there was a number of times on the Bears we had comeback games. I had dozens of two-minute drills in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 1 Some won, some lost. I remember I was tired every single one of them.

Speaker 1 The thing is, you got to sprint up there, and there's always somebody lagging behind.

Speaker 1 And you never want to be that guy because it shows on film, and you're going to see it on Monday, and the coach is going to call you out for it. The guys on the bus aren't going to talk to you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It sucks.

Speaker 4 I saw this one video of a lineman getting up to the line of scrimmage and then just staying perfectly still but puking as they stop the ball.

Speaker 1 epitomizes that epitomizes the mode of operations for an offensive line under all circumstances, even if the sky is falling, you continue to fucking play football. What's the,

Speaker 1 this might be a dumb question, but if you, let's say a drive, right? What's the point in a drive? Is there like a play point, 9th, 10th, 11th play, where you're like, this defense is gassed.

Speaker 1 We got him? That's a really good question. And it was always whenever we'd cross the, you know, the opposing like 45.
I mean, midfield is like the battleground, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 But if you can put a dent in that defense's armor and move the chains once, then you can prove to yourself that's momentum, that's confidence. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 If we can repeat that again, and usually after you get a first down, be it on the ground, you can hit them with a hard play action, and you get the energy turning or up at a place like Soldier Field, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The other one that I always wonder, and our good friend Sam Schwartzein kind of like, he put it in my ear that I never really thought about it.

Speaker 1 But the NFL, like everyone's fallen in love with the pass you see the bills uh against the dolphins they ran like 90 plays there weren't a lot of run plays as an offensive lineman that has to like you have to go forward at some point right like is there a point where you're like we can't pass this much we have to run the ball because just just purely like going backwards constantly kills your offensive line

Speaker 1 in terms you're talking in terms of stamina or stamina mentality everything i think it takes a huge mental hit on you as an offensive lineman when you know you're going to be blocking pass blocking blocking 50 plus times in a game.

Speaker 1 Right. And it becomes a Big 12 shootout because no offensive lineman wants to ever pass protect.
Right. Right.
That's, and when he said that to me, I was like,

Speaker 1 we're on defense. Now, the great offensive linemen, the elite guys, the Lane Johnsons of the world are going to put paws on people and they're playing offensively within the pass game.

Speaker 1 There's not many guys who can do that from a mental standpoint, let alone a physical standpoint.

Speaker 1 We want to know where the ball's going, what the snap count is, and that we are going to be able to hit them before they hit us. Right.
And that's the running game. Right.

Speaker 1 And that's why guys like Andy Heck, offensive line coaches, stand on the table for runs, and Andy Reid's like, I'm going to throw that some bitch 70 times. Right.
And Andy Heck's like, well.

Speaker 1 If you want it, we got five yards right here on this. Right, right.
Because I never really thought about it.

Speaker 1 Like, I think everyone falls in love with the pass and the analytics of like, oh, yeah, like passing on first down, it's a great move. And like, you obviously can get more yards in the passing game.

Speaker 1 But if you just ask your big guys to go backwards for an entire game, it's going to suck for them. And it's not going to be as like you have to

Speaker 1 let them go off. You can flip that on its heels and say, we want them to be going backwards, which is the run game.

Speaker 1 And like statistically speaking, you take a look at teams that lead the league in rushing touchdowns. Running the football into the end zone is demoralizing for a defense.

Speaker 1 You ever take a still shot of the defense three seconds after a rushing touchdown scored? Heads down, hands on hips, a lot of force gumping, pointing hand, pointing fingers.

Speaker 1 The pass game, it's a quick touchdown. Okay, we'll get them back.
They threw it in. We'll get it.
Yeah, we just saw what it looks like. It's easy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The running game is like, go fucking replicate that. I love that mentality.
Go replicate that ass whooping we just put on your defense.

Speaker 1 Right, because I assume you see it on Twitter sometimes where, like, some people in the analytics community will be like, why not just pass more? Like, got to pass more. It's like, well,

Speaker 1 these are guys playing in this game. Like, there's a mentality that is involved in this game.

Speaker 1 You got to run the ball just out of a pure, like, like, let them fucking put their hands on someone and go for it. Too many smart guys in the building, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Too much brains in the building. I like it.
There needs to be like, run the ball. There needs to be a limit on

Speaker 1 degrees. Yeah.
Degrees accrued upstairs.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
I would say the number of people who wear glasses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the only one. There's like four have had LASIK.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're at one in, one out. That's why, like, we got Jake in the room right now.
James, there's that's plenty of us.

Speaker 1 And I had LASIK, so

Speaker 1 you count with Jake.

Speaker 4 What's the best block you've ever made?

Speaker 1 Ooh, best block I've ever made.

Speaker 1 There was a run we had in Indianapolis, I believe, where Jordan Howard was a running back to the right side was a good one. It was an outside zone.
We had another outside zone against Minnesota.

Speaker 1 That was a real fun play. I mean, I'm sure you guys could pull this up, but there's outside zone to the right, both those plays.
Big explosive runs.

Speaker 1 Easy to find probably on Jordan's highlight. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Every block I made for Matt Forte

Speaker 1 because he makes you look great all the time. Any highlight film you're in with Matt Forte, you look sexy.
Yeah, I thought you were going to say Deadspin when they posted your cock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a good highlight. And then block them.

Speaker 1 I was mad for you. I was mad for you.
It was a weird.

Speaker 1 And you guys, again, the homies, we did a great. Yeah, we had you on right after.
Try to get out in front of you. That's how you do it.
That's how you do it. Yeah, yeah.
Get right on it.

Speaker 1 Like I saw, did you guys see? I was like,

Speaker 1 I called you guys. I called you and I was like, because Chris was fighting the good fight.
Oh, he was mad. Because fuck them.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Big time. Fuck them.

Speaker 1 And now, like, I really did a good job of like restoring it away mentally and not even like thinking about it. But like, you know, no, no, no, no.
But like, recently I've been talking to Chris.

Speaker 1 I'm like, fuck them. Yeah.
We got to do something about that. Yeah.
And I called you and I was like, hey, I got to make some jokes about this because. I'm feeling some type of way right now.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You get on the bus and they're like, have you seen Twitter, bro?

Speaker 1 I'm like, what happened on Twitter, bro?

Speaker 1 yeah oh cool we gotta win I didn't block anybody like isn't that against the law that they were posting your your cock yeah I feel like it should be against the law like you didn't sue them we'll sue them for you don't make me calm down there and handle it yeah and also like showed face here today I know you've talked about this before they had the air conditioning humming in that lock it worked it was efficient you know it was a balmy evening so there was a some moisture in the air there was cool air.

Speaker 1 You always were a cold shower guy after a game. I was on the cold tub therapy train before all these fucking gurus.
Because you're a fucking, you're a warrior. Did you see that?

Speaker 1 You were doing Wim Hof, weren't you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Your body was.

Speaker 1 I've been swimming in cold water all fucking day. Yeah, you were doing Wim Hoff before.
You're doing your breathing exercises.

Speaker 1 Cold

Speaker 4 minus 80.

Speaker 1 You get in there and I just go, Joe Rogan on it.

Speaker 1 Like you're on a roller coaster in the drop part.

Speaker 4 That was a messed up day in sports. I'll just say, like, we had your back on that one for sure.

Speaker 1 Salute to all the soldiers.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I'll say it, and it sounds sentimental, but like, I learned through Barstool, like, there are, it's hard to be friends with guys because eventually you have to criticize them.

Speaker 1 So, like, I made some friends early on, and those guys are my friends forever, and you're one of them.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I now probably keep a little more distance because, like, I probably have to criticize this guy. But I always like felt personally attacked when people would attack you.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you know, it was cool that I was able to,

Speaker 1 I got cut out of Jay's life for like five years.

Speaker 5 You got cut out too, right?

Speaker 1 For a few years. Oh, Cutler.
I thought you had a good day in his life. No, no, you came up with him.
You got cut out of Jay's life for a long time. You know, Cuddy has to keep his distance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he cuts you and then he brings you back. That's how it goes.
Yeah, he gets you hungry again. Shout out to Cuddy.
I went like five years where I was cut out, but I'm back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you back?

Speaker 1 I was chasing the train for like two years and then they slowed down enough and I grabbed on. Are you back? Yeah, I think it's got good.
It's got good. Okay, good, good.
It's good that we're back.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We're both back.
Shout out to us, comeback players of the year. Yeah, it was a time where it was like, I may never be back, but I'm back.

Speaker 1 He's got a good system. He keeps you hungry.
It's like, oh, you're just like, he's low-key. He's the most low-key, mysterious guy ever.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, one day you just won't get a text back, and then that won't happen for five years.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He leaves you just waiting, huh? Should we get Billy involved? Because Billy,

Speaker 4 the first time Billy met Kyle, I think Billy looks at Kyle like Steve Irwin looked at gigantic crocodiles where Billy was just super impressed with your size.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just loves to look at you.

Speaker 4 And he studies you. No, no, crazy story.
So it was when I first started, I was an intern in summer 2017. So we met Kyle first, and we were going to

Speaker 1 JJ Watt.

Speaker 4 And so seeing Kyle was like, holy, like, you know, when you have a dog and like, I have a big dog and you see other dogs, and they're like, that, even though, like, just juxtaposition, like, that's a tiny dog compared to my dog.

Speaker 5 So I was with Kyle.

Speaker 1 That's how I look at Whitey compared to what it was. Yeah, exactly.
So I'm with Kyle. We're not talking about cocks anymore, right? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 So we didn't see each other's cocks, by the way.

Speaker 1 I asked him.

Speaker 1 Wait, how was it?

Speaker 1 I was 18. I was 18.

Speaker 1 I was 18.

Speaker 1 That was a joke, mom.

Speaker 1 So then when we saw J.J. Watt, I was looking at J.J.

Speaker 4 Watt and I was like, oh, this guy isn't that big compared to Kyle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, like seeing J.J.

Speaker 4 Watt, like you at that time dwarfed J.J.

Speaker 5 Watt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, you just blew my mind. Yeah.
You and Lane Johnson, I always said, like, when people are like, oh, offensive linemen aren't great athletes.

Speaker 1 Like, look at Kyle Long and look at Lane Johnson and tell me that. And Lane's in a different, you know, like Simeon Rice used to say, I'm in a different, like, what did he say? Echelon.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 A different, whatever. And that's Lane Johnson.
He's like extraterrestrial.

Speaker 4 And he ran like a 4-8 or something?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he beat me by like 0.1. Yeah, what did you ran? Terran Armstead.
Him and

Speaker 1 Terran Armstead beat me. And I think I ran like a 4-8-8 or 4-9 or something.
And all natural, too. Natty, like fresh off of, you know, maybe a can of dip and a power bar.
Did you ever

Speaker 4 get a carry in the NFL?

Speaker 1 You ever win the Fumble Rooski fight? I caught a ball off a tip drill in Minnesota, and then Brian Robinson and I believe, what was the other defensive end's name from Minnesota, though, killing us.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jared Out? No. Not Jared Out.
No, no. Oh, fuck.
They cut me in half. Yeah.
Like this.

Speaker 1 And then I drive me nuts. That's what it always happens like that.

Speaker 4 You remember the

Speaker 1 Marshall Newhouse play? Yes.

Speaker 4 Where he got flipped over? Yes.

Speaker 4 His eyes got as wide as sauce.

Speaker 1 Like the guy, the Miami Dolphins guy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, that's our guy.

Speaker 1 Marshall Newhouse. No, no, no.
Oh, that's a different guy. Oh, new Miami Dolphins.
Oh, new Miami Dolphins guy. From last year.
Yep. When the O-lineman went head over heels at the goal line.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was a beautiful place. And they've been on a hitting streak ever since.
Yeah. So maybe the strat is throw the football to the fat guy.

Speaker 4 What about, have you ever been used as a fullback?

Speaker 1 In high school.

Speaker 4 Yeah. They should have used you as a fullback in the NFL.
They should. They're starting to do that more often now.

Speaker 1 I think I'm too tall for that. You think so? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, but you got good hip flexibility.

Speaker 4 Good hip flexibility. You can get low if you want to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you got to start low. You know, you can't just run in there high and then get low.
That's why fullbacks are just built by God very low. That's true.
What was Everson Griffin?

Speaker 1 Everson Griffin sawed me in half. Okay, I was going to drive me nuts if I didn't think you could look up his name.
A lot of sacks. I heard that name a lot on FBA.

Speaker 4 What's the hardest you've ever been hit by somebody?

Speaker 1 My rookie year, I believe it was, I pulled against the Bengals and Ray Maluga was there on power, and his head is as large as the pumpkin that my brother's going to float down the fucking James River in.

Speaker 1 And he hit me so hard, I could have sworn I had a concussion. I never asked anybody about it, and I just kind of

Speaker 1 went along with my day trying to block Gino Atkins. I said, well, that fucking hurt.
And now I got to go block Geno. That sucked.
What else? What other questions you got, Billy?

Speaker 1 It's been a long time.

Speaker 4 I mean, it's been five years since I saw him.

Speaker 1 What are we going to do?

Speaker 1 How's your Saturday?

Speaker 1 What's your favorite thing about being here since I saw you last? Because when you started, you were like, like, man, it's just fucking crazy. I'm just trying to hang on here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, being here, there's always something new.

Speaker 4 You always are excited to just like on a Sunday to just get in and get involved and really hang out here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're going to do a Sunday with us. We come in Sundays at like noon.
Do I bring beer? No, we don't drink on Sundays. We're here till like two in the morning.
You can drink beer.

Speaker 1 I thought it was religious. You can.

Speaker 1 You can. Okay, great.
Great, great. But yeah.

Speaker 4 Keep the beer away from other people who will not be named.

Speaker 1 So this is like Truman show in terms of like, yeah, we're just all hanging out, getting fucked up and watching sports. And then it's like, hey, you got to sign the waivers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, the thing is, like, people think that we get fucked up and sit around watching sports.

Speaker 1 We're kind of playing up. I'm playing that up, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I wish that's what we did.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That'd be great.

Speaker 1 It'd be great. It'd be great.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Come to me and Chris.
It's fun. Maybe we'll do it one Sunday just Sunday fun day.
Yeah. Yeah.
People will always say like on the streams, like they'll be watching us on the streams.

Speaker 1 You'll be like, not a beer in sight. What is this? It's like, well, it's our job.

Speaker 1 That's right yeah it's like yeah we're professional i would like to drink and sit on my couch all sunday trust me you don't want us to drink because then you're not going to want to watch no yeah that yeah drunk pod we do

Speaker 4 get angry we do it a couple times a year it's funny but more than that and it's like what are you guys doing yeah yeah we're carried away what about you and chris we've had a couple people ask me and big cat this recently like when we fight and uh i'm always curious to know because you you know you do a podcast with chris you seem like you're close you guys seem like you're good friends you guys ever fight about anything oh yeah i mean we fight all the time about stuff And we're getting more adult about it as we get older.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. Disagreements? No, disagreements are really, you know, like even harder than fights because fights, there's some closure to it, at least physically.

Speaker 1 But yeah, we never really fist-fought or anything. We had the rare opportunity to play against each other.
And, you know, I broke his rib once, and there was an actual brawl in St.

Speaker 1 Louis rookie year on Thanksgiving. And, you know, punches were thrown, kicks were allegedly kicked.

Speaker 4 Didn't you kiss him?

Speaker 1 Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 You always kiss i heard that who knows who knows that me and chris kiss i heard

Speaker 1 i heard you kissed him who told did you guys

Speaker 1 i heard you kissed him during a game i kissed him too yeah he walked in and kissed all of them he's handsome that's jason oh

Speaker 1 yeah that girl right there that's amazing yeah that's his name you kind of look like a jason kelsey stunt double too Oh, that was nice. I was told that.
I'm a Big Eagles fan, too. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 From the area. I was told that one time at a Lululemon.

Speaker 7 Best compliment I've ever gotten before in my entire life.

Speaker 1 That is incredible.

Speaker 1 Has Howie ever had to step in to be like?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, yeah, sometimes the disagreements pour over into almost fights.
Yeah, right. Unless, you know, until the flat top shows up and he's like,

Speaker 1 the flat top shows up. It's like Batman, the bat symbol comes up.
You've got to be like,

Speaker 1 You see your dad and you're like, I get to look like that when I'm that old. Like, he's a fucking

Speaker 1 stud. I know his habits and I know my habits.
Oh,

Speaker 1 he's clean living.

Speaker 1 I'm going to put these genetics to the test. Yeah.

Speaker 1 See how far you can push it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The limits.

Speaker 4 I still feel like when I see him on Fox on Sunday, he could kick everybody's ass in that room.

Speaker 1 And that's very true. Yes.
Like, if he wasn't, he seems like.

Speaker 4 He's the epitome of old man's strength right now. He is.

Speaker 1 And he's got heavy hands. He was like a national championship boxer in college.

Speaker 5 Jesus. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 That's terrifying. I think the story, I mean, I don't know.
This is stories. Dad doesn't talk about himself.
So I hear this from his uncle. And it's like, hey, national championship.

Speaker 1 I think your dad went out there, no robe. He was just shadow boxing.
And the other guy came out, saw your dad, and just turned back around. And that was the, that was the national championship.

Speaker 1 Just walked out.

Speaker 4 He's like, okay, I'll give it to this guy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 When you were growing up, did you ever think that Terry Hatcher was mom sometimes?

Speaker 1 No, but a lot of people asked me that. Yeah.
You know, my mom would pick, Diane would pick me up at school and they'd be like, where the fuck is your mom?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, hey, dude. I'm like, this is a strange way to get in a fight over your mom the first time.

Speaker 4 Because, like, it was the Radio Shack commercials, right?

Speaker 1 Radio Shack. Shout out to Radio Shack.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they just put them in a room together, and then for some reason, All of America thought, like, oh, they're married.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I guess they pitched. I don't know if they were trying to pitch it that way or what.
I was like super young, but I can understand the confusion, right?

Speaker 1 If I see two people on TV, I'm a simpleton. Like, you're already painting the picture for me, right? Like, you're telling me that they're together.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I thought Beavis and Butthead were fucking for the longest time.

Speaker 1 Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Brian and Stewie.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 And if you head over to bombas.com/slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase that's bomb b a s dot com slash audio code audio at checkout uh what are you shooting now because i feel like you're one of those guys that like i wouldn't be surprised if we similar to like danny woodhead our friend you're like hey i'm gonna give this golf thing a try and oh shit kyle long just qualified for the U.S.

Speaker 1 Open. I love golf, but I love my wife more.
Okay, that's a good answer.

Speaker 1 You hit bombs. I would thank you.

Speaker 1 I mean, I love the game and I'm always in constant pursuit of trying to go lower. And I probably am trying to shoot 75 by Christmas.
Okay, what's your lowest scoregard? 79.

Speaker 4 Okay, I shot 72 at Schinnecock, but whatever.

Speaker 1 Saw that. Yeah, it was nice.
Saw the scorecard. Yeah, it was sick.
Legit. I blew up on the last round, on the 18th.
I wish I hadn't. I would have shot 70 if I didn't have that.
You got to go for 69.

Speaker 5 I'm going to try.

Speaker 1 I think I'll get it.

Speaker 1 I will say golf is one of those things where it's like you can put your phone away. You can go out out there, you can be in nature.
Every course is different.

Speaker 1 It's almost like why I liked baseball as a kid because every park was different dimensions, all that kind of thing. Every first hole is different.
And it's fucking dope.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's a great way to spend some hours with some friends. You don't have to get fucked up because you're just...
fucked up on pure life. Yeah, friends like that.
Get fucked up on life.

Speaker 1 Get fucked up on life. Yeah.
And you love your wife. That's nice.
Yeah. Yeah.
She's dope. And your dad.
She's dope.

Speaker 1 I think it's the anti-gay.

Speaker 1 So gay. Fellas, is it gay to love your wife? Yeah, you love her a little too much.
I can't stand it, but I do love my wife. And you're dad.
And I'm a dad.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Frankie, my six-month-old daughter, nearly six-month-old. Love it.
Nice. Love it.

Speaker 1 She's built like me, and she looks like my wife, and that's a problem. Okay.
Well, maybe softball catcher. Monster.
Shotgun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What was it? Jenny Finch?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The pitcher, yeah. A beast.
Oh, my God. That's, you know, I don't know catchers.
I just know pitchers. Dude, also, I've always thought like softball,

Speaker 1 like softball players are incredible athletes. Like it's fun when they have like the college World Series for softball.

Speaker 1 And I also always think about how awesome it must be for them to then like the next portion of their life play in co-ed leagues and just dominate. Dominate.

Speaker 1 Because like that's always like you play in a co-ed league. It's like, oh, we'll hit it to this girl.
Like, oh, like, no, they just come in there.

Speaker 1 There's nothing more girl power than just getting absolutely fucking railroaded by some like gals who used to play pro. Right.
Like, oh, bring it in for her.

Speaker 1 And then they just fucking hit a bomb over their head.

Speaker 5 That's, that would be the coolest thing ever.

Speaker 1 Just boat race, yeah.

Speaker 4 I also think they have the best, like, synchronized team celebrations. Yeah, they're always on the same page with that's good, that's good.

Speaker 1 And there's a lot of behind-the-back, like, finger-pointing and stuff, and it's all signs and stuff. I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 Oh, I got a question for you. Um, how, how many different handshakes did you have with teammates?

Speaker 1 Man, handshakes. I mean, I was pretty standard.
I was just trying not to fuck the dap up. Yeah.
You know, I was trying not to be in the Barack Obama meme where he's like, dap,

Speaker 1 he's like, handshake, handshake, handshake.

Speaker 1 I want to be a dap guy. Yeah, were you a dap guy or were they the shake hand hug, you know? Yeah, that's a good spot to be

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 4 You want to have one last question?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You were doing a lot of woodworking in your backyard recently, right?

Speaker 1 Woodworking, yeah. I was building some raised bed gardens.
I had some 10 by 8,

Speaker 1 so really 10 by 10 weather-treated wood, 10 feet long. I built four big raised bed gardens.
So my wife and I love to eat out of there. Every night we get a little bit of basil if we're making pizza.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. You really love her.
Yeah, all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 She does all that stuff. I just have to build it and they will come, right? Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Basil is actually.

Speaker 1 What do you think of Fresh Basil?

Speaker 1 It's pretty cool, right? I know. That was pretty cool.
I saw you with that wood. Yeah, I saw you got that wood.
What's going on there?

Speaker 1 I saw you posing it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I want to know your pleasure.

Speaker 1 Thank you, guys. Yeah.
Well, Kyle, you're the best, man. Where can the people watch you? Yeah, again, thank you.
Greenlight podcast on Mondays with Chris Long, my brother.

Speaker 1 And then every Sunday, you can find me on CBS Sports with that other pregame show, 9 to 12. I'll be there this Sunday.
And you're doing a Sunday with us. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 You have to do a Sunday because you're here in New York and then you leave. I might have to do the red-eyed drive from New York to Virginia.

Speaker 1 No, you just take like an 8 o'clock flight out of LaGuardia. You watch all the games.
What do you have to be home for? His podcast. Podcast online.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 we have Zoom here. Yeah, you could zoom it.
Why don't you? You know, the vibes aren't right unless you're at the desk together. You guys don't want to zoom with each other.

Speaker 1 You know what we should do is we should have fucking Chris come up too and you do the podcast here. I think that would be watch the whole slate of Sunday.
We could do a home at home. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm down for it. That would be great.
We could do get some gold. We could do Sunday night takes, and then we all sleep.
And then it's like, well, everything we said was stupid. Here's what we think.

Speaker 4 And then Monday cleanup, everything that we got wrong six hours ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I can't wait to do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's perfect. All right.
Well, Kyle, it's always great to see you. Thanks, man.

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Speaker 1 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, it is time. Every Wednesday, one question with the quarterback.
We have the guy who is our favorite quarterback of all time.

Speaker 4 The first quarterback to appear on part of my take.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the first quarterback to appear on part of my take, and the guy who we basically were going to just have him on every single week,

Speaker 1 it is our good, good friend, Blake Bortles. One question with the quarterback, Blake Portals.
My question is,

Speaker 1 we had a little bit of a discussion, possibly people reaching out to you to see if you could train, come in,

Speaker 1 maybe be a backup. How are you? Are you in good shape? Are you ready to be signed by a team? Maybe even the Patriots, Hank, is trying to hog all the Blakes.

Speaker 9 I did.

Speaker 13 I heard Hank mention that the other day, and I appreciate that, Hank. I have not touched a football since January.

Speaker 9 Fuck.

Speaker 1 We'll cut that. We'll cut that.
Start over. Start over.
Start over. What are we doing? Start over.
Wait, wait, wait. Blake.
Do you have, is there a football? Wait, this is your question. Are you sure?

Speaker 1 Be careful.

Speaker 5 But I've got.

Speaker 1 No, you can't. Be careful.

Speaker 4 Big Cat. Do you think that maybe there's a football in Blake's backyard that he's in right now that he could just go over and touch? So he could be like, yeah, I touched a football this morning.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I wish I could ask him.
Yeah, me too.

Speaker 13 No, I quietly didn't tell anybody. I retired

Speaker 1 a few months ago, probably.

Speaker 9 Just didn't tell anyone.

Speaker 13 So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly, maybe?

Speaker 1 Wait, you quiet quit. Wait, now you quiet quit the NFL.
You have to ask a good follow-up.

Speaker 1 You have to ask a follow-up on this. This is an exclusive.

Speaker 4 Jesus Christ. Now there's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 4 Blake, hypothetically, for $15 million,

Speaker 4 two-year contract, would you consider coming out of retirement to join either the New England Patriots or the Denver Broncos? I I know you're familiar with Nathaniel Hackett's system.

Speaker 13 Absolutely. Two for 15 million, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you.

Speaker 1 We really fucked ourselves. Hey, Hank, what's your question?

Speaker 1 How was your Saturday? No.

Speaker 1 It was great. Billy, do you have a question? Billy, go ahead.
You have a question.

Speaker 1 How mobile are you feeling? No, we want. Come on.
We're trying to nail down a headline. Yeah, we just.
Jake, Jake,

Speaker 1 Jake, guys. Are you retired? No, no, no, no, no.
Phillips, shut the fuck up. Jake, Jake, you go.

Speaker 4 You go, Jake. You're just retired.
Jake. Hi, Blake.
Jake Marsh, part of my take podcast.

Speaker 4 So in terms of your retirement, is a two-year, $15 million contract the only thing that would get you out of retirement, or are there other options?

Speaker 13 Yeah, I'm

Speaker 13 pretty set with where I'm at and the decision.

Speaker 13 I mean, I think if somebody were dumb enough to offer that kind of money, then it's kind of hard to pass on.

Speaker 4 Blake, as your agent, you're making it more difficult than it needs to be to get you millions of dollars here.

Speaker 4 We need to work on your pitch.

Speaker 13 Yeah, okay. I mean, we could negotiate from 15.

Speaker 4 Okay, we'll start at 15, two years. I like that.

Speaker 1 Max, Max, you have a question. I just texted you something unrelated to this, but you have a question.

Speaker 1 Would you like to, is there any way that you could officially say that on this recording that you're retired?

Speaker 9 He did. Are you ready?

Speaker 13 I've officially retired.

Speaker 1 There it is. Okay.
Well, we just had to reconfirm. I mean, it was, you know, we've really botched ourselves in with one question.
He's he's

Speaker 4 officially retired, uh, excluding a two-year, $15 million deal. Correct.

Speaker 7 Right. $15 million penalty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 When we say that we're starting at 15, we mean we'll go up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we will go up. No, I don't think so.
I think it's just 15. So 16, no.

Speaker 13 Years are irrelevant. 1, 2, 3, 10.

Speaker 1 Doesn't matter. 15 is the number.

Speaker 4 Oh, that would be amazing. Yeah, get him a 15-year deal.

Speaker 1 A 10-year $15 million deal.

Speaker 4 Like the Bobby Vanilla contract, except you have to actually keep working until you're 60 years old.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 Blake signs over his children as well. So it's like he gets paid $100,000 a year for the next 300 years.

Speaker 1 I like that. That's good.
Billy, go ahead. You didn't get a question.
Go ahead.

Speaker 4 How are you actually feeling? Do you think you can get in-game?

Speaker 9 Yeah, probably.

Speaker 13 I'm still in shape.

Speaker 1 I work out

Speaker 13 occasionally.

Speaker 13 I mean, I think I could play. I don't know.
I played catch with some kids in the neighborhood the other day for the first time. And my arm was sore for a week.

Speaker 1 I mean, one game.

Speaker 13 I don't know if the arm's in shape to throw more than like 40 balls in like a two-week span, but I'm sure we can make one better.

Speaker 5 But you're a dual threat.

Speaker 4 You're like, you have the highest career rushing average, I think, for any quarterback of all time. Do you see those stats when they go viral? Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 This is another question. Let's do it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do I rephrase that? Well, you know what? Let's do this.

Speaker 4 I love it when I see that stat go re-viral because it happens like three times a year where it's like Blake Bortles, better rushing quarterback than Michael Vick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do we do this? Why do we do this? Let's have you.

Speaker 1 This isn't a question. This is more of a just saying it out loud.
Maybe next week you come on the show for a full interview.

Speaker 9 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That sounds good. Okay.
Something outside of just one question. Yeah, we really fucked ourselves.

Speaker 1 The entire basis of this segment was basically like based on like having you on every week to ask you one question. And now we're just fucked.

Speaker 1 But so we'll, for the AWLs who are probably going to be pissed off that we didn't ask any real follow-ups, next week Blake will be on the show for a full interview.

Speaker 1 We'll make sure he's on a computer, not his phone in his backyard. And Blake,

Speaker 1 do you? No, it's not your fault. It was one question.
That was, I said five minutes.

Speaker 1 You have a question for us.

Speaker 4 Wait, you have to not ask that in question.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 I'll bet you Blake has a question for us.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 There you go.

Speaker 13 Do I have a question for you guys?

Speaker 4 Could just ask us what day next week?

Speaker 13 Yeah, what day next week do you guys think will work?

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to do it?

Speaker 1 You want to do

Speaker 1 Tuesday?

Speaker 4 Tuesday Tuesday at 11?

Speaker 1 Tuesday at 11. That would work.
Does Tuesday at 11 work?

Speaker 13 No.

Speaker 13 I'll be driving.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's bad.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 13 I'll get home Tuesday, probably around lunch. So anytime after that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why don't we say 2.30? Let's say 2.30?

Speaker 1 Tuesday at 2.30. Yeah.
Does that work? Perfect.

Speaker 5 Okay, awesome. All right.

Speaker 1 Tuesday at 2.30. We'll see you for a full Blake Bortles interview that will air on Wednesday.
This was one question with Blake Bortles. Definitely took a turn.

Speaker 1 Congratulations. We have the exclusive.
We have the exclusive.

Speaker 4 Maybe being retired, maybe not being retired. Either way, congrats.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 13 No, we'll find out. I look forward to next Tuesday.

Speaker 1 All right. And if anyone reaches out, don't tell them, you know, you wouldn't, but, you know, don't.

Speaker 13 Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 9 Okay. Exclusive.
Pardon my take.

Speaker 13 You guys have really amped up. I think I told you the other, or whenever that was, like, I really appreciated my once-a-year kind of public, um,

Speaker 13 you know, just Blake of the year. And now, you know, we're kind of, we're exceeding the once-a-year.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's good to get you back in the rotation.

Speaker 4 You won't find any bigger Blake Bortles defenders in the history of the world than us. I think I speak for everybody in this room when I say we would die for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd die for you.

Speaker 13 I appreciate that. I die for you all as well.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't know about Billy, but.
Yeah, no, that's fair. That would be a waste of a death.

Speaker 4 Billy wouldn't want that. He's all about sacrifice.
He wants to serve others. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, Blake. We'll see you next Tuesday.
Tuesday, it is. I'll see y'all then.
All right, thanks.

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Speaker 14 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 14 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up the show with our good friend Jersey Jerry. It's been a few months, man.
It's been a few months. Any big news in the Steelers quarterback situation that you want to

Speaker 9 update us on?

Speaker 1 As of about

Speaker 10 17 minutes ago, the Steelers, Mike Tomlin, announced Kenny Pickett as quarterback one.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 We probably expected that, though, right?

Speaker 4 Like, they weren't going to go back to Mitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Breaking news. Breaking news.

Speaker 1 Breaking news. Jerry, breaking news.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Say it again, Jerry.

Speaker 10 Mike Tomlin has confirmed that Kenny Pickett's a starting quarterback.

Speaker 1 Whoa. I can confirm that.
Yep. I will also double confirm it.

Speaker 4 And I'll match. Yeah.

Speaker 10 And he also confirmed Mitch will still be a team captain going out for the coins.

Speaker 1 Oh, so that's

Speaker 1 weird. That's weird.
Now we're Kenny guys, but

Speaker 1 that makes you a little nervous.

Speaker 1 For what? No, it's kind of weird.

Speaker 4 It's like if you start dating a a girl and adjust the mic so it's in your face. Her ex-boyfriend is still making her breakfast every day.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't know why he's still going out for the coin toss.

Speaker 1 Well, he must be a team leader.

Speaker 10 Well, yeah, but I mean, I feel like it's a little disrespectful to Mitch, no?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah, a little bit.
I'd say so.

Speaker 4 I'd say it's kind of disrespectful on both accounts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Let me ask you a question, Jerry. So, Kenny's a starting quarterback.
Have you ever showered in Kenny's house?

Speaker 10 That's a good question.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes, I have.
Oh, okay. Wow.
So that's a pretty tight friendship, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I'd say pretty tight.

Speaker 1 Nice bathroom. Oh, really? Nice.

Speaker 1 What shower were we working with? Traditional waterhead, or was it one of those ones on the ceiling?

Speaker 1 What was it like?

Speaker 10 So it was. It was traditional.
Yeah. It was traditional.

Speaker 4 What size loofah? Does he use standard size?

Speaker 10 No, you know, there was a loofah in there, but I chose not to go that route.

Speaker 5 That's nice of you.

Speaker 10 I chose

Speaker 10 just to use the soap bar.

Speaker 1 So he's not a waterhead. Oh, you're the

Speaker 1 soap bar? Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's kind of weird. Where you just put the soap, like the bar of soap, like on your armpits and your balls and stuff.

Speaker 7 Did you have an option of a not soap bar?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can use your hands. Was there a liquid soap? Yeah, like, yeah, was there no body wash or anything? No, there was.
Oh, you went soap bar? You chose the soap bar. Yeah.
That's the face bar.

Speaker 1 Had it been used? Wait, wait, wait, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Hold on. You guys are, you guys are trying to use something to me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 You put the face bar in your asshole.

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk about that.

Speaker 10 I'm sure they threw stuff away. No?

Speaker 4 After After you shower, you think you went in there and he's like, oh, this is Jerry's soap. We're throwing it away.

Speaker 1 We got to give the shower a shower? Probably.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's good to know that you're tight with him. Now,

Speaker 1 again, we're Kenny guys. Always been Kenny guys.
Love Kenny. Been on this show, recurring guest.

Speaker 1 Hypothetically, what if he has a bad game? What are we doing with that? Because you showered at the guy's house.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, listen,

Speaker 10 he's a rookie, man. Of course, there's going to be some bumps and bruises along the way.

Speaker 10 You know, there's going to be times where where you look at the game and like, wow, Kenny messed up this game. And then there's going to be times like, wow, Kenny really won this game for us.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 10 So it's going to be up and down all season.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think you're actually in a very cool situation for an NFL fan, which is you have a new toy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And you are like more so personally invested in this new toy than most fans are. But just like getting to spend a season rooting for your new toy to do cool stuff, that's a fun place to be.

Speaker 1 Like no real expectation.

Speaker 4 You just want to see a promise of like a bright future.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you know,

Speaker 10 I had that, what do you call that moment

Speaker 10 when it actually happens?

Speaker 4 Epiphany?

Speaker 10 Possibly. I was on the field pregame for the Steelers game last week against the Jets.

Speaker 10 You know, Kenny comes out, warming up, you know,

Speaker 10 I get the head nod from Mitch. Like, they know who I am.
Kenny head nod from.

Speaker 1 There's a guy who's been DMing my wife. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 10 Come on, Kenny. You're not going to do that.
And then, you know, Pat recognized me, daps me up, and stuff like that. So it was like a moment where I'm like, wow, man, I'm such a die-hard Steelers fan.

Speaker 10 And like, these guys know Jersey Jerry's, right?

Speaker 5 It felt great.

Speaker 1 Did you ever release the DMs, the Madden playing DMs?

Speaker 10 Those have never been released.

Speaker 1 Can we do one reading of one of them?

Speaker 1 You sure? Yeah, I think it was funny. We'll just do one.

Speaker 10 That was funny.

Speaker 1 Do you have it? Yeah, I have it's my home screen.

Speaker 4 How many, before you started working here, what percentage of Steelers players would you say had received a DM from you at some point?

Speaker 1 That like on the roster?

Speaker 1 oh, man.

Speaker 10 Um,

Speaker 1 I'd say 50%.

Speaker 1 50%. Yeah.
Did they give him right back? Huh?

Speaker 10 Any of them write back? You know what? A Steelers player has never ever contacted me, no,

Speaker 10 until this past year, year or two.

Speaker 1 So, why?

Speaker 4 You just kept writing them back, though. You were like, eventually somebody's going to exactly.

Speaker 10 I mean, listen, if you want something bad enough, you've got to do some things you don't want to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 this is my personal favorite. Let's read one.
Yeah, yeah, sure. No, this is good.
There's nothing bad about it.

Speaker 1 Jerry hit up Juju Smith Schuster's mom and said, hi. I'm a huge fan.
Hi, Sammy. I'm a huge fan.
She has 21,000 followers. So she's a public food.
She's a blue check mark. Hi, Sammy.

Speaker 1 I'm a huge fan of your son and a big fan of this Pittsburgh Steelers. Your son is so humble and it is so refreshing to hear him talk and watching him play.

Speaker 1 If you can do me a favor and see maybe if he can play me in a game of Madden of PlayStation, it will make a 25-year-old kid from New Jersey dream come true.

Speaker 1 I've been following him, watching all his games since he played at USC. That was nice.
That's that's a diehard fan. I think we're done now.

Speaker 1 I'm done. I think it's over.

Speaker 1 Listen, I like those messages. This shows that you have, you, you are the grittiest fan I know.
That's a fact.

Speaker 10 I think so too. Yeah.
I mean, listen, one way or another, they're going to find out who I am. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 What about the haters out there? Because I'm sure there are

Speaker 4 a lot of haters that might be like, yo, Jersey Jerry's not blue collar anymore. Yeah.
He's working in the big city. He's white collar now.

Speaker 4 He's rubbing elbows with a starting quarterback, going out to nice dinners, using their shower and their soaps. What would you say to those people that say that's not blue collar?

Speaker 10 Hey, listen,

Speaker 10 I could still go back to work if I wanted to and still work just as hard. I still know what I'm doing.
I just did my mom's kitchen. I mean, that's blue collar.
That is. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Would you put in?

Speaker 10 So we did the countertops and then we did...

Speaker 10 Obviously, new appliances. That was really nice.
And then the floor.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Yeah.
Beautiful.

Speaker 4 Jersey Jerry takes care of his mom. I like that.
that. Of course.

Speaker 1 You can tell a lot about a guy for

Speaker 1 treat their mom.

Speaker 1 What? The cookbook. Yeah, that's true.
So

Speaker 1 Jersey Jerry's

Speaker 1 grandmother, who's passed away,

Speaker 1 nanny.

Speaker 10 What? She was my nanny.

Speaker 1 She was your nanny?

Speaker 5 That's like the name for

Speaker 1 her.

Speaker 1 Like my nanny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. My wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She was my grandmother.

Speaker 1 All right. So his grandmother passed away.

Speaker 1 She was an incredible, incredible Italian cook, has an incredible cookbook, left it to Jersey Jerry before she passed away, and Jerry will not share it with his mom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his mom asked for the recipes, and he's like, No.

Speaker 4 Well, are you making the meals for your mom?

Speaker 10 No, I'm not making the meals. No, what are you doing with me? So, what she does is she tries to, you know,

Speaker 10 figure out what my nanny used to put in this, put in this, and she's always so close, but it's never the same.

Speaker 1 And it's in the cookbook. That's what you won't let her look.
Why not?

Speaker 10 Because I want her to

Speaker 10 do it herself. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So she'll learn better if if she can figure it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 Will you give her any hints? Like,

Speaker 1 she'd like to use the pains on the sleeve. She'd be benefiting?

Speaker 5 I mean, yeah, I would be benefiting, but it's like a game I'm playing with.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's great. I love that story.
You use the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do. You could say that, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't mind it. It's great.
No, it's a great idea.

Speaker 10 I'm trying to watch it getting closer and closer as the years go by.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 4 It actually makes sense if you could turn it into

Speaker 4 an annual thing. Maybe on Christmas, you release one new recipe.
It's a good idea.

Speaker 1 From the Jerry Vault. It's a good good idea.
Yeah, maybe publicly release it for the people.

Speaker 1 You're one in a billion, Jerry. That's why I love you.
Like those little stories. Your mom just working hard to try to recreate her own mother's cooking, and she just can't get it.

Speaker 1 And you're like, I got the keys.

Speaker 10 Well, what she does every time is she calls me pal. So she'd be like, pal, is it close? Is it the same? And I'll just be like,

Speaker 4 close, but not it.

Speaker 5 And she'd be like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 4 I was just curious. I'm sure a lot of people want to know know how things are going with the old digestive system.
No accidents recently?

Speaker 10 No, no, nothing.

Speaker 10 No close calls either.

Speaker 1 That one just, it was, I don't know what went wrong. Yeah.
You know,

Speaker 1 a lot went wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like everything that possibly could have gone wrong went wrong.

Speaker 1 It was a nuclear meltdown. Yeah.
All this time. Ternoble.
Embarrassing moments. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Jerry shit himself on the train. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a catastrophe. Everybody.
I'll retweet it just so everyone sees it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I've retweeted it like a thousand times.

Speaker 1 It's a great video. It's an all-time video.
It is. It is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's do some questions.

Speaker 7 Hey, Jerome, it's actually Gerard. I've made that mistake a few times.

Speaker 7 I think I've righted my ways, though. I used to do it a lot.

Speaker 7 Have you ever gotten injured at a job? If so, how did you deal with that? I tore my pec on my first shift of my new contract.

Speaker 7 It really sucks because I was only one minute away from being off the clock. My boss is telling me I have to stay off work for at least six weeks.
And my crew.

Speaker 1 Oh, it is. It is.

Speaker 7 And my crew is badly struggling without me. We don't look like the same crew without me at all.

Speaker 7 I feel like I'm soft because my brother also recently suffered a chest injury, a regular heartbeat, and went back to work just four days later.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Yeah, I definitely, so I know the camera can't really see, but

Speaker 10 what do you call this finger? The ring finger?

Speaker 1 Ring finger.

Speaker 10 Yeah, so it's permanently dislocated.

Speaker 1 And there's just nothing left of it.

Speaker 10 So I was working and I fucking hammered and hammered and then boom, slipped and hit it, crushed it, never got it fixed. It pops out sometimes, but I was told, like, hey,

Speaker 10 don't report this because you can get in trouble for not having gloves on, and the whole crew can get in trouble. So I suck it up, and I just went back to work.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, so I teamed up.

Speaker 10 Whoever this guy is, I would say, just suck it up, man. Get back to work.
The team needs you. The crew needs you.
Get back to work.

Speaker 4 Probably got like some new guy that joined your team and you had to set an example for him. Exactly.
Like, this is how we do it on my team.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 what if the guy in question comes back and then gets re-injured, and now it's like two years that he's out?

Speaker 10 That's another good question. I would say it doesn't matter at that point.

Speaker 10 I would say it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 10 Like, you have no choice but to come back.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Would you say you should do more steroids to try to get back faster?

Speaker 10 Well, I don't think this guy said that he was doing steroids.

Speaker 4 But if he were, he tore his pack.

Speaker 4 I guess maybe I'm just reading between lines.

Speaker 4 Should he do more steroids or less steroids?

Speaker 10 I would say less steroids.

Speaker 4 Okay, so dial the current steroid use back a little bit.

Speaker 1 Last question about this guy, and we don't know who this guy is, but like

Speaker 1 he gets injured and then he realizes like, oh,

Speaker 1 I'm not even healthy. I'm not even the best

Speaker 1 player on my team or in the league, in this construction league. There's a guy in Dallas who's been playing crazy.

Speaker 10 Did TJ DM you guys?

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 No, this is someone just hypothetically. But what would you say to that?

Speaker 1 Like, if, say, a guy who's been playing some great linebacker ball down in Dallas, like, some are saying he's the best player in the league.

Speaker 1 Construction. Construction.
He's the best defensive construction player in the league for the Cowboys.

Speaker 10 Michael Parsons. I would say no.
Okay. I would say the numbers tell a different story.

Speaker 1 Ah, interesting.

Speaker 10 You know, I think there was another guy, forget what team he's he on,

Speaker 10 starts with an R, just got his hundredth sack or something like that the other week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 there's a guy named TJ Watt. He's on pace to shatter that.

Speaker 1 Oh, I mean, shatter it.

Speaker 10 Not even close.

Speaker 4 But yeah, they play the exact same position, right?

Speaker 10 They don't, but.

Speaker 1 Okay, next question.

Speaker 7 Me and a friend got into a discussion about what a blue-collar job actually is. I am a medical equipment technician, which I consider to be blue-collar.

Speaker 4 He is a teacher, which he swears is as well.

Speaker 1 Thoughts.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't think the teacher is.

Speaker 10 I would say no to that.

Speaker 1 Not blue-collar?

Speaker 7 What about medical equipment technician?

Speaker 10 That would say yeah.

Speaker 4 It's got the word technician in it.

Speaker 10 It's got equipment in it.

Speaker 4 I don't know if a teacher is, and it's no disrespect to teachers out there.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 4 half the members of my family are teachers. I have great respect for the teaching profession.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 I don't think they'd say it's blue-collar. I'd say that there's like a separate definition for being a teacher.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They bring brown bags to work. Blue-collar brings a lunch pail.

Speaker 10 I think they eat in a cafeteria.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, you could say that teachers are lunch pail.

Speaker 1 They might not be

Speaker 1 collar.

Speaker 7 They don't bring lunch pails. They bring

Speaker 1 lunch boxes.

Speaker 4 That's a lunch pail.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 10 You think it's different?

Speaker 7 Yeah, the pails are hard.

Speaker 4 I think if you have a job where you could get thrown up on by anybody else, that's its own.

Speaker 4 I would put teachers almost in the same category as other service workers.

Speaker 10 What about a lady who's working at a psych ward in a hospital? That blue collar, you think?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that seems... I don't know if that's blue collar or not.
That's mental blue collar. That's what we need.
We need mental blue collar because teachers would be the mental blue collar.

Speaker 1 Like, that would be their category. Physically, maybe not, but mentally, that's blue-collar work.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 I think teachers are blue-collar. Shout out to all the teachers.

Speaker 7 Best lunchtime, day to take off, and time to take a dump.

Speaker 1 Ooh, three-parter. Great question.

Speaker 1 Say that again? Lunchtime? Best lunchtime?

Speaker 7 We'll go one at a time. Best lunchtime.

Speaker 10 Okay, I would say best lunchtime, 11.

Speaker 1 What were your hours?

Speaker 10 I mean, it started at like 6.30 and wouldn't get home until like 10. Where are they now?

Speaker 1 Wait, 6:30 to 10 p.m. Yeah.
No, that was every day?

Speaker 10 Pretty much for all the overtime, yeah. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Overtime. 11? That seems early.
I would like to extend it. I like to take lunch in the afternoon.
I think, like, take lunch really, really early and then do a double lunch in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 Can you do that? Yeah. Yeah, he could, I guess.
No problem. That's the move.

Speaker 4 The problem with taking that early lunch is it makes the afternoon, every time you look at the clock, it goes by so slow. Yeah.
If you go to lunch like at 11 a.m., you're back at noon. You check.

Speaker 4 It feels like it's 5 p.m. You look at the clock.
it's 2.10.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Day to take off.

Speaker 10 Best date of Friday.

Speaker 7 And best time to take a dump?

Speaker 10 Best time to take a dump right after breakfast while the crew's setting everything up.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's smart.

Speaker 1 Come out, everything's set up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. Good answers.

Speaker 4 What's the worst time to take a dump?

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 10 on an emergency.

Speaker 1 Right after Jerry on the train.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 10 That's probably one of the worst times you could. Yeah.
Or on an airplane. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Airplane dumps are pretty bad, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 All right, last one. Jerry, when is it okay to snap back at your foreman?

Speaker 7 I worked as a roofer a couple summers ago and never talked back to my boss in my life until my short, angry, red-headed foreman was on my ass for everything.

Speaker 7 Some of it was maybe warranted, but one day he lit me up for doing something wrong that he showed me how to do.

Speaker 7 After exchanging some fuck you's, I feel like I was in the wrong since I was never, since I was newer and should have just taken my lumps. Was I in in the wrong?

Speaker 1 Thanks. Yeah, I'd say so.

Speaker 10 Never really supposed to talk back to those guys, man.

Speaker 1 Chain of command.

Speaker 10 Yeah, they're in charge for a reason.

Speaker 10 You know, I mean, I remember specifically, you know, the foreman saying, hey, you don't like it on my crew? Go find a different crew. Nice.
You know what I mean? You're listening to what I say.

Speaker 10 And listen, that guy happened to be a great guy that was nasty in the beginning. I mean, you look at your paycheck.
There's a couple extra hours in there. You know what I mean? They take care of you.

Speaker 10 You keep your mouth shut. They take care of you.

Speaker 1 You got a problem. Come see me.
Exactly. Yeah.
Exactly. That's it.
That's it right there.

Speaker 10 But yeah, I know Eric was trying to jam me up, but my hours are pretty long right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What does that mean?

Speaker 10 That would mean I'd say about

Speaker 10 10.30.

Speaker 10 I wake up about 8 now, 7.45, 8. I get here 10.30.

Speaker 10 I'm out by like 5, 5.30 on a football night, a little bit later, maybe.

Speaker 4 Is that true? Is that true that you're out 5, 5.30?

Speaker 10 I would say some, I mean, today I'll be out at 3.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I've got a couple things business-wise to take care of but i'd say for the most part yeah around five-ish and you'll be back on streams on sunday because i know people have been asking like hey jerry just isn't here i don't think they've been asking yeah if you could find a tweet on that i think i'd give you some money

Speaker 10 okay i mean no because somebody's gonna do it now what if i find a tweet right now You would have to find a tweet that's and he'll give you some money.

Speaker 4 That's best.

Speaker 1 That's mostly. Okay.

Speaker 4 Jerry, I like the new haircut. People are asking.
What was the motivation behind that?

Speaker 10 Yeah, this is a, I don't know if the the camera sees, this is a mullet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Camera works, Jerry.
You keep saying that. Huh?

Speaker 5 Like, the camera's not going to get this.

Speaker 1 It's got it. It'll get it.

Speaker 4 It's a good look, though. What was the inspiration for it?

Speaker 10 I'll tell you what, a couple years, I mean, not even a couple years ago, about a year ago, year and a half ago, I had long hair. I had hair down to like the back over here.
Yeah?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got any pictures?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, I got a couple.

Speaker 4 I want to see some long, some shaggy Jerry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got a couple.

Speaker 10 I don't know. It'll take me maybe a couple minutes to look it up.

Speaker 1 You're looking at something? Let me see that?

Speaker 1 Say right there. Read it out loud.
Let me see. I got to read it.

Speaker 10 This is where's Jerry been on the streams? Kenny.

Speaker 1 What the hell?

Speaker 9 It's today, Dan.

Speaker 1 I have a burner account to get into Jerry's spaces.

Speaker 5 So I just made it Kenny Pickett as the avatar.

Speaker 1 So he'll let me talk. Hey,

Speaker 10 what do you think?

Speaker 1 You have Burner? Well, no, this was just for a copyrighted issue. Oh, okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 But, like, what is your take?

Speaker 1 I always wanted to know. No.
I do not have.

Speaker 1 I don't either. I've got a burner account.
Why, though?

Speaker 4 I started because it's so much fun.

Speaker 10 Yeah, but like, are you harassing people? Sometimes.

Speaker 4 You should never do it. Yeah.
You never make a burner, right?

Speaker 1 Never make a burner. No.

Speaker 4 But it's fun. It's very fun.

Speaker 10 I know, but I don't know.

Speaker 10 I was thinking about debating doing it, but then I...

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't. You.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you don't.

Speaker 1 You don't need a burner.

Speaker 4 I would suggest that you don't make a burner account.

Speaker 4 My burner account, I wasn't harassing people. I was just using it to get some takes off that maybe I felt like I used to be able to get off that now I can't get off anymore.
Gotcha.

Speaker 4 You know, just kind of like a throwback just for me to enjoy.

Speaker 1 But you're, you're like, you have burner energy as a person, so you should just stay, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 10 I got myself in trouble a few times already here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's okay.

Speaker 4 How are the dogs doing?

Speaker 10 Good. Good.
I actually just ordered this new collar for Paul.

Speaker 10 Pauli Peppers? Yeah, it's a shock one.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Since Pauly Pepper's a bad dog.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he's not the best dog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jerry tweeted that out. He's like, look at like one year ago today, Pauli Peppers, and then replied to his own treatment.
And like, turns out Pauli Pepper's real dick. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you have any you got any new litters coming out?

Speaker 10 No, no, I'm done, man. That's harder than raising a kid, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can you explain the methods, like how you would, how you'd raise these puppies? How did you

Speaker 1 fuck? Yeah.

Speaker 10 So pretty much you wait till the bitch is in heat. And her period will turn from a dark red to a really light red, almost pink.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 And then from there, you have the male go sniff her out, and then you fucking,

Speaker 10 you know, you do your thing with the male.

Speaker 4 Wait, you do?

Speaker 1 I do, yeah. You jack him off, yeah.

Speaker 10 Once he's smelled, like he's he's up there, he's ready to go. He's smelling, he's sniffing, he's horny, yeah, so he's like fake humping, he's not having sex with her.

Speaker 10 Um, and then you're, you know, doing your thing, and then pretty much you jerk off the dog, yeah, the male.

Speaker 4 Why don't you actually like put

Speaker 4 them fuss?

Speaker 10 So, with the French Bulldogs, it's really weird. It's really hard for them to naturally do it, for them to actually lock in place.

Speaker 10 They can do it, but like their legs are so short, it's so hard for them to to actually lock there's like a locking period that has to happen for for it to work so it's just easier just bust in a cup take out like a long like flexible syringe thing and then stick it all the you have to stick it in the right way because yeah

Speaker 10 it's crazy there's two separate um in the yeah the butt and the vagina can i say okay in the in the in the vagging

Speaker 10 you know you have to hit it hit the right spot because if you if you go up you're just putting it in the bladder.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Okay.
Down is the uterus.

Speaker 1 And Kendrick Perkins has like a million-dollar French bulldog breeding. He does the same thing.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you think Kendrick Perkins actually jacks off his bulldog? Probably.

Speaker 10 I would say he would probably have somebody do it for him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I would pay more money for a bulldog that

Speaker 4 got jacked off by Kendrick Perkins.

Speaker 1 By JJ. That's a good point.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea. Yeah, we just

Speaker 1 certified like this bulldog was made by Jersey Jerry masturbating a bulldog.

Speaker 4 That's That's what you should call your right hand, the Vijay J.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. All right, numbers.

Speaker 1 Guess?

Speaker 10 91.

Speaker 1 Blake Griffin.

Speaker 4 No, there's no chance. There's no chance.
So, Jerry, if you want to get the number right, just guess any number but 91.

Speaker 7 How do you guys feel about Blake choosing or Blake being 91?

Speaker 4 Well, there's no numbers available in Boston.

Speaker 1 Is that the year he was born? That's what I figured.

Speaker 7 Maybe? He's two years older than me? No. I feel like he's older.

Speaker 1 What number are you picking?

Speaker 3 Jerry. Eight.

Speaker 4 21.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that for Kenny Pickett? Yeah. I thought he was born in 89, so yeah, I don't know.
I just assumed that was number 10.

Speaker 4 I think there's just like 26. There's no numbers available for Celtics.
They're all retired.

Speaker 1 69 for Billy. What was yours, PFT?

Speaker 4 21.

Speaker 1 I'll go with

Speaker 1 five for our friend Blake Bortles.

Speaker 1 What was your number, Jerry? Eight. For Kenny?

Speaker 4 Showered at his house.

Speaker 1 Oh, hey.

Speaker 1 63 way off.

Speaker 4 Did you guess that the other day?

Speaker 1 Nah, I feel like you did.

Speaker 4 Cubic lakes are endangered because of habitat destruction. Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Is that real?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Talking away.

Speaker 4 No, I don't know what

Speaker 4 to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 4 Today isn't my date to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 4 No, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 4 Shy it away.

Speaker 4 Though I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 4 Needless to say,

Speaker 4 I've hoped it's about me somewhere in a way.

Speaker 4 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 4 Say up to me, say up to me, say up to me, say up to me, say up to me, say up to me.

Speaker 4 There's no better to be saved than something.

Speaker 4 Things that I can say

Speaker 4 is in the life of just to throw my worries away.

Speaker 4 You are things I've got to remember. Be shy and away.

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 4 Take on me.

Speaker 4 Day.

Speaker 4 all

Speaker 4 the time.

Speaker 4 Take up me.

Speaker 4 Take up me all.