Kyle Long In Studio, 1 Question With Blake Bortles, CFB Talk + Bring Your LunchPail With Jersey Jerry

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Kyle Long in studio. Haven't seen him in a while.
Catch up with him, talking about the end of his career, his podcasting career that's going very well, coaching high school football, a lot of great stuff with Kyle we also have Blake Bortles on uh one question with a quarterback and uh yeah there might be some news that you want to listen to that was broken in true Blake fashion uh couldn't have been funnier we have uh what's a bring your lunch pail with Jersey Jerry to finish the show talk a little Monday night football college, college football, hot seat, cool throne. Pack show for you.
There's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich. And when I want something perfectly crafted, I go straight to Boar's Head.
For over a century, Boar's Head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites. Every ingredient is carefully chosen, every recipe made with a purpose.
Their oven gold turkey, smoke master

ham, and ever roast chicken are made from premium whole cuts, hand trimmed, and perfectly seasoned.

Last weekend, I made the ultimate sandwich, oven gold turkey, cheese, pickles, and mustard.

Simple, but unbelievable. So next time you're at the deli, don't settle, get the best.

Boar's Head, committed to craft since 19 1905 discover the craftsmanship behind every bite

at boarshead.com now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or washin'

And I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app of Barstool Sports. Go create a login and redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase.
Terms apply. Today is Wednesday, October 5th, and I love watching Debo Samuel play football.
That was my big takeaway from Monday Night Football. The quote of the game was from Debo after.
He said, yeah, I just don't know what he was doing out there. That's what Debo said on Jalen Ramsey's attempt to tackle him on that first touchdown catch.
It was everyone on the Rams. You can't tackle him.
He's just untackleable. He's just a violent football player.
He was basically made in a lab for Kyle Shanahan's offense when they showed him not only catching balls, running balls, but also blocking, like throwing great blocks to spring these big runs. It was a Kyle Shanahan master class.
He owns Sean McVay, obviously not the NFC Championship game, but I think it's now 9-3 against the spread, Kyle Shanahan versus Sean McVay. And we've talked about this before, but it's great that the NFC West has these three young coaches and they all just have each other's number.
Like Sean McVay has Cliff Kingsbury's number. I think Cliff.
No, no. So I looked at this earlier today.
Cliff did okay against the Niners for the last couple years,

but overall it's like 50-50.

So it's like Kyle owns Sean.

Sean owns Cliff.

Cliff owns a very nice house to do cocaine in.

Yeah.

Okay, so there it is.

That's the NFC West, and Pete Carroll's just hanging out,

chomping gum up in Seattle.

He's just having a good time.

Pete just can't be – his vibes are immaculate still to this day. I actually think that Pete Carroll is having more fun with Geno Smith as his quarterback.
It's a combination of like, okay, weirdo Russ isn't around, so I don't have to worry about placating him all the time and pretending to understand his strange, unusual motivational techniques. And also Geno's around, if I win a game with Geno Smith, that's pretty cool.
Yeah. If I lose, who really cares? But, yeah, in terms of of game last night, Deebo Samuel is like if you just took Greg Kittle

and just shrunk him down into

a slightly smaller, slightly faster

version of himself. But a lot

of people are like, hey, when are they going to get Kittle

involved? Kittle is involved in the

run game. And I think he actually...
I think

Greg Kittle should get fantasy points

for run blocking. I agree.
Because he's one

guy that does make that much of a difference.

And I was watching some of the Kyle Shanahan

one-cut zone-blocking

rushes. It's so sexy.

It's beautiful. There was one play that was like a nine-yard gain.
That was like the prettiest play that I've ever seen in my life. It's also so pretty that it's like he just does the same thing that his dad did with the Broncos, and it's like that was just the best one.
It was like, hey, we could plug any running back in, just one cut and they're gone. And when it works, there's like no prettier football.
It really is. He makes running the football sexy.
It's gorgeous. Yeah.
And then on the other side of the ball, first of all, I think it's time that we do some blind resume season. Okay.
So I'm going to give you two random quarterbacks, completely random. And you tell me based on the stat line which one you would rather have on your team right now.

Okay.

Quarterback one, 1,015 yards.

That's a lot of yards.

Average 6.8 yards per reception, yards per completion.

Four touchdowns, six interceptions. Okay.

Quarterback rating 81.4.

That's quarterback one. Quarterback quarterback two 1,126 yards oh 7.5 yards per completion 11 touchdowns that's a lot more only three interceptions huh 99.9 quarterback rating just out of those two I'd want Jared Goff you'd want Jared Goff and not Matt Stafford yes Jared Goff.
That's smart. So it's time to ask, like, who really won that trade, Big Cat? The Rams or the Lions? It's a good question.
If we just take out Super Bowls, I think it's the Lions. Yeah, I mean, Super Bowls, that's a team stat.
That's true. Just from a purely passer perspective.
And the Rams, I mean, the Rams have problems. Their offensive line is completely battered, and they basically, like, it was essentially Matt Stafford running for his life, just throwing it to Cooper Cup, and then Cooper Cup running for his life.
The 49ers defense, too, I don't know. Like, if we had, like, advanced analytics of just they have dudes every year that just they're violent, and I love it.
Like, they always are. Well, no, that.
Warner. Yeah, yeah, Fred Warner.
They just always are the team that, like, if you catch the ball in the middle of the field, they'll have what feels like 10 guys tackling you immediately. And, yeah, I was impressed with the Niners.
I do think there was, like, times where I was thinking, you know, Jimmy G, nice guy, but there was definitely a few times, especially in the first half, that one stretch where he had

where he missed like three or four guys that were wide open.

It's like, okay, I kind of get what Kyle Shanahan was trying to do.

Like, hey, if you had Matt Stafford on the Niners,

I think they would be prohibitive Super Bowl favorites

because there are definitely some times you're like,

hey, Jimmy, just the offense is so great.

You have so many weapons.

Just hit the guy who's wide open.

See, it's always a chicken or the egg situation with if you had a great quarterback in Kyle Shanahan's offense how good would they be because I feel like the fact that he's always had medium to like slightly below average quarterbacks makes him run the ball more yeah which is what he's good at where if he had like a great quarterback out there he probably wouldn't run the ball as much I think you would still I think you would probably still prefer for Jimmy G to hit the open guys. And Jimmy G has moments where you're like, oh, this works.
Oh, no, I'm not talking about hitting the open guys. I'm just saying, I think that you'd fall in love with your quarterback if you had a guy that was slinging it.
He just loves to run the ball. And then we also had the protester, Bobby Wagner, showing way more effort.
That was the best part of the Debo touchdown run, is it wasn't just Jalen Ramsey. It was like the entire Rams team.
Essentially, it was like a group homework assignment. They're like, someone else will do it.
We'll be fine. And then you get to the day where you have to do the presentation.
Everyone's like, I thought you were going to do it. Everyone's like, someone else will tackle him.
It's fine. And everyone kind of made their own business decision.
And it was like great by Debo terrible by the Rams I don't do the Rams do the Rams have problems I don't I feel like if their offensive line obviously does but I still think they're going to be they're going to be there at the end of the year I think their problem is that Matt Stafford he's obsessed with Cooper Rush yeah it's like it's sad Cooper Cup or sorry yeah Cooper'm obsessed with Cooper Rush. Yeah, you are.
The ginger cannon. But Cooper Cup is like the only option that he ever looks at.
He tries to get the ball occasionally to Robinson, but that's not, it's very clear that his priority is like. Well, Allen Robinson also, great career.
It's actually funny. Our friend Tom Fernelli, he has like the biggest grudge with Allen Robinson because last year with the Bears, he was you know complaining about targets and not getting open and stuff it's like well he doesn't get open like he's with Matthew Stafford now he had an ACL injury that he does not ever gotten that he never was explosive to begin with but he hasn't gotten you know what I mean he's not gotten all the way back and so maybe it's not the quarterback maybe it's Allen Robinson isn't as good as we thought I think I think the end of his career I think it's mostly on Matt Stafford being obsessed.
But he's not the quarterback. Maybe it's Allen Robinson isn't as good as we thought towards the end of his career.

I think it's mostly on Matt Stafford being obsessed.

But he's not open.

He's obsessed with him.

But Allen Robinson isn't open.

He is upset.

Well, I've seen some of the cut-ups from Allen Robinson like week one and week two

where there are people out there that think Allen Robinson should be the number one receiver

based on how open he's gotten in weeks one and two.

Right.

But in terms of just locking onto a guy, it's kind of creepy how much Matt Stafford is obsessed.

Thank you. one receiver based on how open he's gotten in weeks one and two.
Right. But in terms of just like locking onto a guy, like it's kind of creepy how much Matt Stafford is obsessed with Cooper Cup.
He's just like 19 targets through the bottom 19 times. It was essentially, like I said, it was just running for his life.
Oh, shit, throw it to Cooper Cup. And, yeah, the only other thing that happened was the protester and Bobby Wagner taking him out, which was great.
I think there was a security guard that might have blown his ACL at the start of it. Yeah, that was the other angle.
That's got to suck so bad for security guards who are like, they're ready for that moment. And their hope like, hey, we get a moment where we get to just absolutely pummel a guy and take him off.
But the minute you realize, oh, this guy might have some speed, that has to be a demoralizing second where you're like fuck i'm kind of screwed but credit to the security guard in yellow who just ran him towards bobby wagner and was like get get your help defense yeah i mean you gotta you gotta act like a hurting dog in that situation and make somebody else make a play on him just steer him towards the sidelines and hope something good happens what was he protesting protesting? I don't know. Animals? Anyone know? Probably chickens? Dead chickens? Should we be in favor? It was someone who broke into a slaughterhouse and they're now locked up and he was asking for them to be freed.
Okay, so like a political prisoner. Are they locked up in the slaughterhouse? Because that would be funny if they're like, now you just can't leave.
You just gotta sit here with these pigs that we slaughter every day and listen to them die. That would be cool.
You think that guy will sue Bobby Wagner? I don't think that you can. I think you're trespassing at that point.
Now, the take of the night, that goes to our good friend Dan Dockage because he said, if players can do this to fans coming onto the field, can fans smack players coming into the stands a la Kyler Murray?

It's a great question that needs to be asked, Dan.

Kyler Murray also wasn't going into the stands. Oh, no, Picat.

He was basically assaulting them by leaning against the barrier.

Oh, my God.

Fair question, Dan.

I say yes.

I say that if Kyler Murray, if he climbs into the stands

and starts to punch you, I say that you should be allowed, if he climbs into the stands and starts to punch you,

I say that you should be allowed to restrain him using all physical means necessary.

Yes.

Dan also hilariously broke the Paul Chris news like six hours after everyone else.

He's like, I can also confirm.

That's my favorite.

That Paul Chris has been fired.

Whenever Dan does that, I always like to quote tweet it and confirm his confirmation.

That's what I did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it was good Monday Night Football.

He wasn't like, you know, the over didn't hit.

But you know what?

I'll see wait to watch. Whose line is it anyway? Panthers 49ers.
Because holy shit, Baker's in for a long day. 49ers.
That's in San Francisco? It's in Santa Clara. In Carolina.
Minus six and a half. I would say minus six.
No, minus five. What do we got? It's a long plane ride.
Bad Wi-Fi. We have Niners.
Mine's six and a half. Oh, there you go, Hank.
Yeah, that's going to be a long, long afternoon for Baker. I kind of went at the Carolina Panthers on Sunday night show.
I had so many people from Carolina reach out to me and be like, I watched this entire game. I can't believe I did.
There was one person that I'm not going to out them. work for the panthers organization part of their job is to cut up highlights oh no and at the end of the second half somebody said hey we need the second half highlight package and the guy was like literally the only highlight that we had was a fake punt that was called back on a flag post it so there's no there were no highlights in the entire second half that guy is like the um the the facebook quality control people have to watch uh like horrendous videos people dying and stuff and then they get ptsd yeah that's no different than the carolina panthers social media team trying to cut up highlights no it's tough like would you rather watch this like person in the countryside be doused with gasoline yeah and like a political coup or would you rather watch uh baker mayfield hand off for a two-yard loss? That's a tough one.
I think it's probably the former. Sam Darnold might be coming back, though.
Yeah, Baker's kind of in trouble. The minute you hear Sam Darnold making progress with his ankle injury, it's going to be the same result for the Panthers.
But hey, sure. Yeah, Sure.
Matt Rule is on board the Titanic, and he's like, no, let's put this chair on the starboard side. Yeah.
I think that would be better. Yeah.
Maybe, yeah, just try maybe putting the whole thing in reverse. Yeah.
Let's see if we can just turn back time. So the band's playing right now.
Do you know anything like a little more peppy of a tune, like someone put a pop in your stop? Yeah, yeah. So it's not good for the Panthers.
Do we want to talk a little college football before we do Hot Seat Cool Throne? We talked about, obviously, Paul Chris getting fired, which was a shocker. I dropped a fun fact on you guys that the last time Wisconsin fired a football or basketball coach was Stan Van Gundy in 1995, which is hilarious.
They just don't let people, like, they let everyone walk away on their own terms. Yes, yes.
Bo Ryan walked away gracefully on his own terms. Yeah, exactly.
So it's, I touched on it on Sunday, but it is nice having now an excuse because the Badgers suck so bad to be like, well, we went through a coach firing. What are you going to do? Well, so the fact that Wisconsin has a job opening makes me – one of my favorite things to do is to just talk about jobs in college football.
What's a better job, Nebraska or Wisconsin? Yeah, exactly. Let's compare jobs.
I think I would rather take the Wisconsin job than the Nebraska job. Nebraska fans will get very upset, but I agree.
But here's the situation. Like Nebraska feels like entire job is poisoned.
Yeah. Everyone thought Scott Frost, there's no way that this fails.
Yeah. He's been a success elsewhere.
Prodigal son returns home. This is a guaranteed victory.
Really, the only way that you can possibly succeed at Nebraska is to do what Bo Pelini did, which is to just make everybody in town hate you but win football games. And it's also, it goes back to Wisconsin for, you know, as much as it's hard to watch sometimes, there is strength in knowing what you are and just doing that well and not trying to deviate from that.
Because if you have a brand and you can maximize that brand, which is just running the football down everyone's throat and playing good defense, you least don't get have to play this game where you hire someone who's like you know nebraska might hire someone like hey we're gonna run explosive offense and like we're gonna try it this way it's like no just do this when you're nine or ten games everyone knows what it is it's fun sometimes when you when you win big games against rivals and uh yeah that's that's cool. I'm cool with that because that's college football.

Not everyone can win a national title.

And I did like someone did tweet in all earnesty being like,

Wisconsin should give Nick Saban a call.

The academics line up with what he believes in,

and it would be stupid not to at least give him a call.

Call everybody.

Yeah.

Someone replied and was like, why not call Bear Bryant too? He's been dead for 20 years, but who cares? Newt Rockne. Yeah.
Might as well. Coach O.
No stone uncovered. What about Coach O, though? Because when you think about it, Wisconsin is the Louisiana of the Midwest.
It could be, yeah. They're vaguely French.
They have a severe drinking problem. A lot of big people.
Fried food every day. It seems like a perfect culture fit, to be honest with you.
Yeah. You just trade jambalaya for brats.
Yeah. Very easy.
I think it'd be a very easy assimilator. Although Coach O does like the warm weather.
I know he likes to go hang out. Running out with Sam Baker.
With Ray Baker a little bit. Ray Baker.
This could backfire on you, though, because you got Leonard as your interim head coach. Favorite Badger of all time.
Your favorite Badger, a lot of people's favorite Badger. And so he's kind of been hanging out for a while, like the coach in waiting and waiting almost.
Yeah. And they've got him with an easy schedule coming up.
Don't you guys play like Northwestern? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's the Big Ten West.
Who else do you play, like Purdue? Literally the Big Ten West. Yeah, there you go.
Every team sucks. He should win most of these games coming up.
Correct. If he doesn't, it's going to— Then he probably won't get the job.
Then he probably won't get the job, and then he probably won't want to stick around in Wisconsin. No, no, he wouldn't.
No, obviously he wouldn't. So it's like you're going all in on him right now.
Yeah, but it's better than—I'd rather it this way than firing Paul Chris at the end of the year and then hiring Jim Leonard and then finding out it doesn't work next year. Because then if you hire him for the full – I wanted to work with him.
But if you hire him after this year, if you say you fire Paul Christ in January, you hire Jim Leonard, you then have to kind of keep him for three years. And if he's not the guy, that's three more years down the line where you've kind of fucked yourself.
think he's going to be good i think he's gonna be successful i might just do like an integrity um support the program major pick on wisconsin minus nine and a half against northwestern feels right okay maybe pledge that money to uh the kids jim leonard's future hot tub just i don't know the children's hospital yeah right just say the children's hospital nobody nobody ever children's hospital ask you which one i did we didn't talk about on sunday i we have to be careful pft because we have been playing a dangerous game of uh always saying we're gonna match charity and stuff and i almost got fucked i'll match your charity with mizzou jim yeah i almost got fucked with mizzou on saturday night when i said i would match chase daniel's offer for two hours open bar at a big Mizzou bar, and they almost beat Georgia, which I feel like Mizzou always almost beats Georgia. It's a perfect scenario, though, saying that you're going to match and then never having to.
That's kind of the whole point of saying that you'll match. But it was very close to having...
We have been playing with fire, and it almost burnt me. Yeah, but you've got to play with fire.
Yeah, I know. If you don't play with fire, then you'll never cook a meal.
Yeah, cook a meal yeah that's what i always say it's true i i i honestly will never stop saying that i will match or double i don't know which is better actually saying double or match i think both yeah you go you go back and forth you switch back and forth um yeah other college football i wanted to throw out one thing um for the people uh a future that i had my eyes on clemson at 16 to 1 to win the national title. I don't think they're going to win the national title.
I think they're going to be in the playoff. I think Clemson is sneaky a little bit back, even though they won 10 games last year.
DJ Ungalea is playing well. It's Uyunglele.
Right, Jake? Jake. Nailed it.
Nailed it. We practiced at the beginning of the season.
Nice. We did.
He looks competent, even good, dare I say. And if they figure out their cornerbacks in secondary, I think they've played the two toughest teams in Wake Forest, in NC State and the ACC.
Yeah, that division that they're in stinks. Right.
I think they might have to play Florida State. I think they might have to play Notre Dame, but like notre dame's down so syracuse syracuse good point but 16 to 1 just saying it's not it might be dj dj is like everything that sean payton wanted tasem hill to be yeah he's like a he's a better passer uh i think he's more dynamic like a more powerful runner um when he's at his best he's like a more powerful tasem hill yeah.
When he's at his worst, he's pretty bad, though. Like, he has the ability.
It wouldn't shock me if he came out and laid an egg. So Alabama, obviously, Bryce Young got hurt.
He'll be back eventually, but we don't know how long. Ohio State looks good.
Georgia, it's crazy to say, but their last two games, they have not looked. Their defense looks good still.
But I'm wondering... Well, I mean, they gave up 22 to Kent State.
Missouri kind of... Missouri was moving the ball against them.
No, but their defense... I watched that entire game, unfortunately, because I thought I was going to have to pay like $20,000 in a bar tab.
I'm not worried about their defense at all. I'm a little bit worried about their offense.
Mizzou kind moved the ball like it wasn't it wasn't so fluky it wasn't it wasn't one of those games where it's like weird things kept on happening and balls getting tipped they were obviously still better defensively than Mizzou's offense but Mizzou like was running the ball was throwing it deep a couple times I'm just saying this is just put it put a little pin in it did we get a little bit duped by Georgia's dominance because we watched that 49-3 game against Oregon week one. Oh, for sure.
And we were like, this team is insane. And I think they're obviously still very, very good.
But the last two, one game I get, two games in a row where they've played down to their competition severely makes you start to say, huh, maybe this isn't the juggernaut we all thought it would be.

I think their defense will be fine.

I think long-term, that's not going to be a problem for them.

They'll figure it out.

Alabama, I don't know, is Bryce Young, is a shoulder okay?

It's a sprained shoulder, right?

Yeah.

So that's not bro football doc.

Maybe you can shed some light on that.

A sprained shoulder seems like a bad thing to have as a quarterback, like something that you need more than just a week or two to recover from definitely need some mobility but it's kind of one of those things you just gotta throw through yeah throw through yeah throw through okay that's good if you use it more it'll get better and they I mean they're gonna this is actually gonna be great watching on Saturday night Alabama versus Texas A&M with the backup with Alabama who who's not a great thrower. Nick Saban is going to just be like, I'm going to try to rush for 600 yards on your face.
And there's nothing you can do about it, Jimbo. We might see a Ryan Day, Greg Sciano type ending of this game.
They might run the triple option. I think Nick Saban is going to be man football down their face all day, and it's going to be great to watch.
He's going to punish Jimbo. So I'm more interested in the handshake after the game.
Yeah. The handshake.
Yeah, Jimbo Fisher. I think he said this offseason.
Didn't he say, like, somebody should have slapped him in the face? Yeah. I don't think that you can say that somebody should slap another man in the face and then go shake that other man's hand.
Yeah. I think you've got to have some sort of – I don't know if it's going to be one of the handshakes where you grab and you pull in and you like hold on a little bit too long and you like give them a little lecture with a finger point i always love the finger point addition to the handshake when you're teaching some another man a lesson at the end of the game or maybe snubs them i don't know or maybe they just stand there yelling at each other yeah who knows but that's what i'm very interested in seeing at the end of this game and then we also have the red river shootout which is going to be the hot seat oh yeah we're not allowed to And then we also have the Red River Shootout, which is going to be the hot seat.
Oh, yeah, we're not allowed to say shootout. S-out.
Yeah, the S-out, which is going to be the hot seat bowl because obviously Brent Venables, it's his first year, so he's not technically on the hot seat. But if he loses three in a row, people are going to be very upset.
And then Sark definitely could be on the hot seat if he loses this game. You think so? I mean, they played Alabama close.
Then they lose to Texas Tech. If they lose to Oklahoma, people are going to start asking questions.
They'll always ask questions, but I don't think that Stark's on the hot seat. Last year wasn't good.
Yeah, but you've got Arch Manning coming to town, and a pretty big part of that I would imagine would be you're going to play with Steve Sarkeesian. I don't know they could probably get i there's just saying it's so ridiculous how much money they invested in recruiting arch manning because they know that he's going to bring in tens of millions of dollars to that university if not hundreds of millions of dollars if they play well uh i'm just saying i'm gonna find out uh some podcasts are saying possible hot seat if they lose the discussion the discussioness out.
The discussion could happen. Yeah.
People are talking about the impending discussion. Yes.
There's also the Chip Patterson versus Les Miles TCU Kansas game. Yes.
Both teams 5-0 going against – I think college game day is going to be up there. Yes.
Going to be fun to watch. Yes.
Which are these two – is Kansas a fraud? Yeah. Yes.
I'm going to say TCU is going to win that game. Their head coach used to be the head coach at Whitewater.
Yeah. D3.
Yeah, Lance Leibold. D3 guy.
He's on Wisconsin's list for potential hires. He was at? Buffalo.
Buffalo. Very then before that, he was in Wisconsin, right? Yeah.
No, he won, like Billy said, he won multiple national titles at Wisconsin. Wisconsin Whitewater.
Yeah. Yeah.
Gary Patterson. Excuse me.
Gary, I didn't want to mess up the name of that coach for T-School. I was confused what you said there.
I just went by it because it was like those are obviously the former coaches. It's Gary Patterson's miles who is on texas's staff now which is crazy yeah i saw him waddling around in that burnt orange and so i had a lot of people be like you don't know dfw football i just asked the question is it not kind of a slap in everyone's face at tcu he built that whole program obviously the time had come to to part ways he goes and be a special assistant for Steve Sarkeesian on the Texas sideline.
That's weird to me. It is kind of strange.
That's weird to me. It's very strange.
That's all I'm going to say. That is weird to me.
We also have LSU playing Tennessee this weekend. Yeah.
And I'm worried for Tennessee. I'm worried.
Yeah. Now, it's going to be an early game, which is nice.
Noon game. And people are pissed off in Baton Rouge about that because it doesn't give them enough time to get drunk.
I say to them, like, if you go and you watch the Red River S out, that game is played at 11 o'clock local time. Say showdown.
Showdown? Showdown, yeah. S down.
That game is played at 11 o'clock local time every year in Dallas. And just the students stay up drunk from the night before.
They just don't go to bed. Yeah.
That's what they should do in LSU. I'm a little bit worried, though, because it's a tough place to play regardless of how inebriated the Cajuns are, and it just feels like a letdown spot for them after that emotional win.
They had a week off. They had a bye week, but still, it's like, this feels like a game that Tennessee should win, but because it's a game that Tennessee should win, it actually feels like a game that they should lose.
I also love the Brian Kelly press conference when someone from LSU asked him about the famous 13 men on the field game in 2010 when Tennessee had won the game. The game was over, and then the rest were like, nope, they had 13 men on the field, one more play.
And Brian Kelly was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'll have to look into it.
It's like, it happened in 2010. It didn't happen in like 1972.
Like you were coaching college football when that happened. That was a pretty big game and a pretty crazy moment that happened in that year that you were alive coaching college football.
So he just, you know, doesn't want to learn LSU history. I just kind of appreciate that.
I just want Tennessee to remain undefeated until they play Alabama. Yeah.
That's what I want. That would be fun.
Because that game will be fun. And then the only other thing I had was USC just has too many towel guys.
I don't know if you saw that clip. They have towel guys up the ass just whipping at people every single time they get a big play, which is, I guess, a culture change.
I think that's what they're trying to do more towels they're trying they're trying to just watch this clip and tell me if you think there's maybe too many towel guys okay we'll put this in the youtube basically oh yeah he just gets assaulted on the sideline with towel guys that's the uh deshaun watson method they have like four guys yeah four guys just whipping towels at people yeah that's that's that's culture that's culture. Would anybody in this room like to apologize regarding the discussion about JMU being ranked in the top 25? Are they ranked? The discussion's happening.
No, I said the discussion was happening. The discussion's happening.
I think they got like 11 votes to be ranked in the top 25. They have 39.
Whoa. 39 this week.
In the AP poll. Let's go.
No, I said the discussion was happening. It did also happen three weeks ago when they didn't get any votes, but now it's happening.
Well, no, the discussion started to happen after they beat Appalachian State. I was having the discussion of if they beat Appalachian State, there will be a discussion.
Right. Which I was correct about.
Yeah. Well, because the discussion had happened.
The discussion discussion happened already but then it happened after that win too so now they've got they've got arkansas state on the road they've got another game i think georgia state and then easy wins they should be wins and then they got marshall at home they will be ranked at least 23 if they go into that game at, what would that be six and oh and i will be back on campus at the homecoming for that marshall game if they're undefeated at that moment i have to i'm dude it's pretty crazy the fact that they this is their first year as a big boy program and they're undefeated now granted they haven't played like a world beater schedule yet i think they're hey you are what. Their hardest game on paper, I think would be Louisville who stinks.
Louisville stinks out loud. Yeah.
But it's just crazy to think that like J James Madison. Yeah.
We'll be ranked if they win the next games. Yeah.
They're going to be playing in a bowl game in like on December 21st. It's going to be great.
I'm going to bet it and I'm going to love it. They can't.
Why? Oh, because they got banned for three years? They got – I don't know if it's three years, but it's definitely this year. Damn.
They got excluded from the postseason. That's bullshit.
Because they moved up. You know what? We should start that movement.
That's bullshit. Let the kids play.
You shouldn't punish the kids. Just like last year, you shouldn't punish any team that moves up to Division I, whether it be like women's lacrosse, men's soccer, men's football, they should not be punished for something that the school did to move them up to the next division.
That's bullshit. Hashtag bullshit.
Hashtag bullshit. Yeah, bullshit.
Bullshit. Yeah.
Let the kids play. Let the kids play.
I agree. Okay, let's do Hot Seat, Cool Drone.
Then we have Kyle Long in studio. Awesome interview.
And like I said at the top, Blake Griffin, or sorry, Blake Bortles. One question with the quarterback.
Some breaking news. All-time Blake moment.
Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat. Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver check out ariot in your local workwear retailer or visit ariot.com slash work to get 10 off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in ariot work gear hot seat cool throne hank my hot seat is the sons the sons not thes? Not the Sun.
The Suns. The basketball team.
Okay. NBA basketball is back.
It's way too soon, but it's back. They're playing preseason games, and the Suns lost their first game.
It's good for us. They lost to an NBL team, an Australian League team, the Adelaide 36ers.
How did Chris Paul do, though, legacy-wise? I mean, that's bad for your legacy. That is bad for your legacy.
I'm going to count that as another 3-1 lead balloon. Did he play? I doubt it.
I'll check. Well, that even more counts.
Like, he left his teammates out to dry. Yep.
Yep. You can't overlook the 36ers.
Suns versus NBL. It's a tale as old as time.
Yeah. That's a loss.
Stunning preseason loss. And they had all the controversy with their team in the offseason.
A team that was so promising a few years ago seems to be falling apart at the seams. Ever since they stopped.
Wait. Verbal meme.
It's AJ Today's. I ain't right back.
They need to get back in touch with her. It seems like the whole team's been cursed ever since they just ignored the story.
They should have leaned into that a little bit more. Chris Paul played.
Yeah, oh, he did play. Six points.
Are you saying that a Chris Paul team has kind of self-destructed? No. It appears that way.
Oh, come on. No way.
I don't believe it. That was a fun hot a fun hot seat thank you remember when they were gonna get kd like two months ago uh then my cool throne was chili oh yeah it's out chili video out go watch it i watched the the preview and i laughed uh just knowing what was in store part of my take youtube check it out billy tried to kill us so tune in to Billy trying to kill us.
Billy, you want to preview it? Yeah. Billy, how would you describe your character in this? Your story arc? I tried something controversial.
Didn't work out. He tried to poison us.
He tried to kill us. I didn't try to kill them.
I didn't go by the book. Right.
Well, it was so un-by-the-book that Brian Bobgarner warned us before we... It was supposed to be a blind test.
I don't want to give away too much, but before we had one certain person's chili, Brian told us, like, please don't eat too much of that. It will poison you.
Yeah. Alternate facts.
Okay. Okay.
PFT, your hot seat, cool, Toronto. My hot seat is Dana White.
Oh, yeah. Dana White got put on the hot seat big time.
He did an interview. I don't know who he did the interview with.
It was on like the USC main account or UFC main account. And he said that he went to go get a test, uh, with some sort of doctor.
And the doctor told him that he's going to die in 10.4 years. Yep.
So apparently this doctor has a test that they can run where they can tell you to the month when you're going to die. Sounds legit.
Yeah. So then Dana changed up his entire diet and now he says that he's extended his life.
Yeah, he did the 10X. Because this doctor told him, hey, guess what? I can tell you exactly what food.
Why do more Americans not get this test? Well, it costs, we looked it up the other day, and it costs so much money. It's the 10X fitness program.
I think it's related to Grant Cardone, who's a 10X. He created the 10X mindset, which is just anything you want to do in life, just do it 10X.
What is the – is it called the 10X diet? Fitness or something, 10X fitness. They measure your telomeres, which are something that are supposed to indicate how old you are biologically.

So you could have like a 23-year-old with the telomeres of the equivalent of a 55-year-old who just lives unhealthy.

But there's like 55-year-olds with telomeres who are like 30.

So you probably just had really old telomeres.

It also was ridiculous because I don't know if you saw the clip, PFT, but Dana White was like, yeah, I was not feeling healthy.

I was waking up every single night throwing up in my sleep. It's like, yeah, that's bad.
Yeah, that that seems bad. You should probably go see a real doctor.
But he's now back. He's he's living life.
There's something weird about like the more rich and powerful you get, the worse your medical choices become. Yeah, because even though you have access to make the best possible medical choice besides steve jobs who just he got on a plane and went to brazil and he's still alive to this day but like when you when you have like life-changing money where you're in charge of like hundreds and hundreds of people and you're their boss for some reason you think that the health care that they get that's bad health care right i'm the only one that can get the real healthcare.
So you're not making terrible decisions for your own body. The 10X Fitness Program, they're selling these red lights, which, Billy, you could tell me what red lights do to you, but they're like $12,000.
It's a very genius program because you can essentially... What do super crazy rich people, what are are they most afraid of is dying because they love being super crazy rich so they can spend money on weird science to keep them alive he also said that he's fucking obsessed with finding out the exact month that he is on pace to die in i also just have a theory that this guy strange because like if somebody were telling...
If you had to choose between you get to know when you're going to die and you get to know the method in which you will die. I don't want to know either.
But you have to pick one of them. Gun to your head.
I think method and hoping that it's not like getting hit by a bus because then I just have to avoid all buses for the rest of my life if you have to pick one of those two, that's the one. Yeah.
I mean, knowing when you're going to die would be terrible, be terrible, terrible, terrible. Every single day, you just be like, oh, I'm going to die in this many days.
Yeah. So people are, you know, the haters out there, like actual doctors are casting aspersions on it, saying that these methods almost certainly do not work and that it's morbidly irresponsible of any doctor to say anything like this.
No way. I'm going to go with Dana White.
So he's extended his life by some years because of his telemetry. Is that it, Billy? Telomeres.
Telomeres. I want to get this test, though.
You could. You think so? Yeah.
How much do you think it would cost? A lot. Look up telomeres tests.
It's just basically the longer your telomeres, the less you've aged. Got it.
Okay. Your cool throne, PFT? My cool throne is fat bears.
Yeah. Fat bear season, bitch.
The National Park up in Alaska, they do this every year. I think we've covered this Fat Bear race almost every year here on Pardon My Take.
Shout out our guy Zah. He's a big fan of Fat Bear Week.
Oh, he loves Fat Bear Week. Oh, my God.
I think we've been going through Fat Bear Week since the very first year of Pardon My Take. Yeah.
The Fat Bears are back. Basically, they hibernate in a couple months, and the weeks spent up until they start to hibernate are just spent standing in a stream gorging themselves on salmon.
And you can go and look, and you can see pictures of them coming out of hibernation and then pictures of them now when they've gained, like, 300 pounds. Yeah, so I've got a front runner.
You can look at all the different bears, and then they put them in a bracket, and they compete against each other. I've got bear 747.
Okay. 747 is a fucking unit.
Yeah, Fat Bear Week's great. It's fucking electric every single year.
All right, my hot seat is anyone who hates on Tony La Russa because he's retiring because of medical issues.

So I don't know what's actually going on with him.

He stopped managing the White Sox for the last month.

But credit to Tony.

This is the best way to retire.

Being like, I'm sick.

Don't make the jokes.

I would like to see his telomere test.

Yes.

The doctor would just print it out and be like, it's just .09.

You're dead.

You're actually a dead person.

Yeah.

But yeah, this is in terms of like it didn't go well with him as manager.

I'm going to go. doctor would just print it out and be like, it's just this .09.
You're dead. You're actually a dead person.
Yeah. But yeah, this is in terms of like, it didn't go well with him as manager of the White Sox.
Who would have ever thought that? But I have to give him credit, like saying, yeah, I don't feel very good. So everyone, please be nice.
It's a great way to walk out of a team that completely underachieved all year. Yeah.
Didn't they get they got off to a good start, though, under La Russa? Last year they were okay, but this year this was supposed to be the year that they put it all together, and they were just never that team from the get-go. La Russa is, if they ever do an interim manager on a team that has some talent that's on the cusp, I think you get a good two, three weeks out of them, right? Yeah because that's not because i remember when when he started with the white socks everybody was like suck it haters larusso's system the old school way actually still works in baseball but now it just starts my favorite rumor always whenever the white socks need new managers ozzy guin should be the manager again and he's like he's he's basically saying i know this team better than anyone yep so bring him back uh my cool throne is uh the league or sorry this league because ben simmons is back and he's shooting basketball so you don't have to worry about that it was great watching the one highlight everyone dunked on him it's gonna be awesome when it's like a thursday night primetime game or you know one of those featured games that they have and he just misses a shot.
And the whole, like this is now this we're, we're looking at one of the most universally hated guys on the internet. And the, the clips that are come out when he shoots and misses horrifically, like he didn't even hit the rim when he shot a fadeaway last night.
I'm just so ready for it. It's going to be very funny to watch.

It's going to be like Trent Richardson and the holes that he's not running through all over again.

It's going to be Mitch Trubisky and the receivers he's not passing to all over again.

The best part is, listen, I know Nets fans exist,

but in terms of fan bases, they probably are in the low end

of strong history of fan bases that will come back at at people so they don't ben simmons doesn't even have defenders like if ben simmons was on the lakers or the celtics or the six well he was on the sixers but a team that had a bunch of the raptors imagine ben simmons on the raptors fans would go to fucking war for the guy there's not a lot of defense for ben simmons no um and they don't have to play defense on just let him shoot yeah that's that's kind of the defense out there yeah uh it's kind of like the lakers fan or not to like the clippers fan base where it's a big market but nobody out there he's an easy target right with nobody to defend there are fans i might they're just they don't have numbers you know what i accept that challenge big guy there you go i will become the ben simmons defender The prince that was promised. I will guard him.
Hand down, man down. Yeah, you don't even have to do that.
You just stand there. I feel like it's going to be a pretty easy job to defend him.
The list of excuses I can come up with in my head to defend Ben Simmons, it starts and it ends at the fact that he's right-handed. Yeah, and also just say he plays great defense because you could just post a clip of him locking someone down and be like, no one else in the league's doing this.
Mental health. Big cat.
Mental health. Billy, your hot seat, cool throw.
My hot seat is Kamzat. Kamzat, the Russian fighter who we know is a great wrestler, welterweight guy.
He just got detained in Russia and his passport taken, so I don't think we're going to be seeing him in the UFC anytime soon why do you do that I

don't know why he went back yeah because what do you get detained for probably to not fighting in the army yeah yeah a weed pen yeah my cool throne is division two women's soccer so a story is just coming out of d2 women's soccer there was a head coach of uh utpb which I don't know what stands for, but the

Carla Tejas basically...

University of Texas peanut butter?

Yeah. UTPB which I don't know what it stands for but the Carla Tejas basically University of Texas Peanut Butter? Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
University of Toledo Pacific Beach. Texas Permian Basin.
Okay, Permian Basin. Really nailing it down there.
Juggernaut. Basically, this sounds like it's out of Blue Mountain State.
She was arrested for DWI september 11th and asked some players to help pay her bail which some of them did she then got into physical interactions with members of the utpb men's soccer team including kissing in public that's a physical interaction yeah distributed alcohol to minors uh she was ejected fucking parties like she's fucking parties. She was ejected from

a game. It sounds like Alex Morgan

when she went to Epcot Center. Yeah.
Sounds like

the Prime Minister of Finland or whatever.

She was ejected from a game

and then she re-entered.

You bonk. I just said the Prime Minister.

Valid. Yeah.
Bonk yourself.

This one's pretty funny. How did you know who the

Prime Minister of Finland was, Hank?

Because he bonked. Because I'm well-versed on geopolitical studies.
I keep going with this scintillating Division 2 story. She could work in Thailand.
No, she should change names. She got ejected from a game and then came back into the game with a disguise.
Oh, Bobby Valentine. Yeah, love it.
And then she was continuing to continuing to coach via walkie talkie and then an anonymous group alleges that she encouraged her students to cheat on classes kind of crazy story she's just the bad girl of soccer every coach does that yeah yeah like this is mac brown this is basically nick saban yeah just didn't know that they did it like that yeah soccer i I like this. Do you happen to have any pictures of her?

I actually looked for some.

Don't think they're balkable.

Oh, okay.

That wasn't his question.

I was just asking.

We know what you're looking for.

No, I was just curious which I want to put a face to the activity.

Let PFD decide.

Jake.

Yeah.

All right.

Jake.

My hot seat is love. We have breaking moves.
Oh, breaking moves. This doesn't matter.
Come on, breaking moves. Whoa, you're not going to do it? Oh.
According to the New York Post, Tom Brady and Giselle have hired divorce lawyers. Oh, that's why it doesn't matter.
Can we get a real cow for this? Breaking Moose. Oh, all right.
I'll do it. Breaking Moose.
I just want to say, Giselle, I know you're going through a lot. And, you know, we've been going back and forth a little bit these last couple weeks.
And I can understand you were a little bit jealous when I did reach out to Marjorie Taylor Green. But I just want to say that, like that if you need to discuss any of this, I know it's going to be tough on you and the family.
I'm just a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, whatever you want to say. I'm an open book, so just feel free.
What does this mean for Tom Brady's legacy that he chose football over family? Again? Football guy. Okay.
He should be football guy of the week. That's why he's the GOAT.
Yeah. Now, what if he gets back?

Also, these are sources.

Jake's not really being a big J.

I literally said, according to the New York Post.

Which?

Which one?

Can you trust the New York Post?

That's Derek Eater.

That's a great fucking headline.

Okay.

Good hot seat.

What if he gets back with Bridget Moynihan, then he's choosing his family over football again. So that would be nice.
Your cool throne. My cool throne is Steph Curry.
He is going to be playable in the new PGA 2K game. So that's not even his sport, and he's in the game.
Does it all. Pretty sick.
What a beast. Yeah.
Basketball's back way too fast. And hockey.
Oh, yeah.

I had a reminder.

Yeah, hockey's back.

Hockey's started.

Although, if we're in the trust tree here, fellas, I have been betting a little preseason

hockey, and I have been doing okay.

So, that was trust tree.

I had a reminder for you.

What?

I got on Saturday.

What, like the New York Rangers versus the fucking?

I bet the Red Wings against the Blackhawks on Saturday. That was an easy winner.
I bet the Kraken under on Saturday. Easy winner.
And it was found money because I was struggling through college football. And I was like, boom, preseason hockey, easy winners.
Listen, if the bet wins, I shouldn't have to apologize for it. No, that's fair.
I had a reminder for you to bet on the NBA Abu Dhabi preseason games this week. Oh.
Because you said it would be at a random time. Yeah, I'm in.
So we have Bucks Hawks Thursday at noon and Saturday at noon. Love it.
Love it. Abu Dhabi.
Time zones. In, in, in.
Okay, good job, Jake. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, one of our good, good friends, longtime friends. It's been way too long since you've been on the show it is kyle long who is still getting comfortable retired retired officially but you're never retired i was talking to an old dude today my my father-in-law was kicking my ass with a golf car golf course we put like a pitch and putt today and we had a third party member who was a random and his name was ed trader joe's employee loves the benefits at tj's fuck yeah he was talking about you know all kinds of stuff they offer but one thing he said is you know this is my retirement job and i was thinking to myself you're never really retired you're right even when you're done with the main thing there's always something there's side quests it's like gta we all beat the game eventually and then what else do you do so our football side quests are

retired football side quests are retired I still think you could be yeah what if what if we get a

call right now coaching high school and it's fun I get those juices out I'm getting a text right

now it's from Andy Reid he says hey if Kyle's with you right now I saw you guys interacting

on Twitter um we're gonna offer him 15 million dollars to play the rest of the season 15 million

I need it in writing big red but that's yes yeah I heard yes if it's a contract i have a cbs contract cbs sports that's where you can find me uh billy football if you like to watch me if you if you were a fan of me on the field you should check me out cbs sports on sunday mornings that other pregame show uh-huh mondays green light pot i'm getting the plug out of the way yeah so we can just hang out i don't wait has chris has uh chris made you sign a contract i have signed a contract oh shit chris is my boss damn wow that sucks you gotta retire from that i bent the knee yeah shit he made you do the whole thing did it yeah he's like the whole he put face paint on me you know the sword came out he wore the dog mask from philly howie jr's just sitting in the sideline being like this is so stupid why would you ever do this yeah i mean he's he's happy that we're friends he's happy that we get to make content together and chris and i are kind of finding our way at the pod you know i sit at the desk with him and at first i don't know my place because i've been playing and he's been making content he's been running a company, which is the undertaking is so much more than just showing up and saying funny, interesting shit. It is.
And people don't realize that. And I've seen that side of it and how stressful it can be.
And now I'm at the desk and I don't want to fuck it up. And I'm getting a text from Chris.
It's like, hey, we're really having a good time. This isn't stressful for me, by the way.
Right. So let's fucking keep having fun.
Yeah. And that's what it's all about.
What's the drug testing policy like over at Greenlight? You know, I'm still figuring out the boundaries in the office place, but you try to keep things separate from work and home. Work hard, play hard.
Yeah, that would be ironic if Chris was just like, no weed in the office. Big Howie always said, there's a time to work and there's a time to play.
But, you know, we've obviously been close friends with Chris for a very long time as well. I think when he started the podcast, the media company, it was very stressful.
He was like, this is a lot harder than I thought. But you guys have found like a really nice like footing and it feels like you've hit your groove.
It's nice to know that the things that I consider my weaknesses are absolutely chris's strengths yeah the details the preparation uh he's got he's a real gritty guy he stays up late late nights early mornings he's you know father of two uh shout out to the fathers out there i got i got a nearly six month old daughter out there shout out um and yeah so chris is uh chris is burning the candle on both ends but on my end i can just show up and be loose and shoot from the hip and a lot of the shit they're gonna have to cut out of the show and uh that takes longer on the back end but you know if we have fun people get to look into what we're really like right um and we've never really had that right i'm saying hanging out with you guys for me has always been fun and always been a pleasure because i can just fucking hang out and pack a dip and feel like myself and relax like oh why is all this equipment in here we're just talking right that's how it is with chris now sometimes they'll be like hey talking to the mic don't talk to chris i'm like but i am talking to chris right that's pretty cool does chris ever like text you before a show he's like hey uh we're gonna talk about bridges today so just prepare like five bridges. Yeah.
Because he gets into these weird – he'll see something online, and he'll get really into it for a second and be like, we're going to do like 30 minutes on this one thing that I'm doing a deep dive on. He loves deep dives.
I mean, like anybody else, and Billy can appreciate this one as well, I've got a strange YouTube algorithm for whatever reason. When I go to youtube.com on any of my devices

it pops up some weird shit but i love the deep dives i've taken um bridges could be one of them you know i'm saying triangles i reference bridges a coach from the bears corrected my blocking technique one time he said you got a triangle going on down there and i said hey coach you ever seen a fucking bridge they use triangle yeah right because they're the strongest baby Let's talk triangles real quick.

I like to ask people fuck marry kill.

Yeah.

Equilateral isosceles are scalene. I think you marry the equilateral.
The isosceles, that's the one with one wide angle and a long line. The isosceles is one that has two are the same length, and then one is different length, I think.
I think that would be the F word. I would F word that one.
Yeah, you would fuck that one? It looks good. Mine's a little bit different.
I fuck the scalene. Okay.
Because it's crazy as shit. You'll have a great time.
And there's one character trait dragged out to 99. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that. It's insane.
I look at it like a Madden rating. I know you do, do too yeah the scalene is is awesome for one night uh the isosceles i would marry the isosceles because it's it's pretty it's cool and it's also like a little bit quirky and you can see yourself you know not being bored with it the equilateral is just it's almost too perfect perfect yeah see and this is this this reminds me of hanging out on the couch with chris because we can talk about shit this and deep dive it.
And you guys do it with everybody, but you know Chris's mind. He's a UVA gentleman.
He considers himself to be an educated person, I guess you could say. Right, a man of the world.
I don't. Junior college, associate arts degree.
You can go a long way with an associate arts degree. My cape and my hat.
I don't even – my cap and my gown, not my cape. My cape and my gown.
I'm not a superhero. my cape i'm not a superhero i'm not a superhero it didn't even fit i walked across and i was like this shit doesn't even fit but they're gonna give me that piece of paper i got that cape though chris is educated he wants to deep dive everything and i appreciate that about him and that's why like we play off each other well in the studio yes all right uh awkward question for you for the howie and ch Chris being around them, do they ever, like, fuck with you and, like, hey, you don't have a Super Bowl ring? I mean, it has come up, I guess.
Because if I were one of them, I would do that to you all the time. Dad, I mean, Dad does it all the time, I guess.
That sucks. You know, subconsciously he does it.
Without even doing it, I'm thinking that he's doing it in his mind. And it it works, right? Like you just think about him holding his hand like this with a ring over it.

Or he'll just look at you and be like, not Super Bowl material.

Yeah, not Super Bowl material.

Hey, I remember there was a lot of talks with him that was like,

this is the test of a man.

Are you going to show up and play football when your team is 3-12?

It's week 16 and you're in, you know, whatever, Minnesota. And I probably gave up a sack that game, too.
And blamed it on Jay not stepping up. No, you didn't give up a sack.
As per usual. Go watch the film.
Brian Robinson, good player. White guy.
You did not give up. You were a very good player.
I'm going to give you my Hall of Fame. Sometimes.
Who's better? You or Chris? At the peak of your powers. Chris was a sack getter and a run stopper.
I was probably a much better run blocker than I am a pass blocker. He was more complete.
He was an equilateral triangle. Yeah.
Equiangular. Yeah.
Yeah. Is it equiangular? I think it's, you can say whatever.
Like, equiangular sounds way cooler. That sounds sick.
The fact that you even know what a triangle is with your cape and hat. Yeah, that's good.
You're doing well. That's good.
Yeah, yeah. We're getting started on the right foot.
Do you remember, I remember so vividly, we went to a Blackhawks game. It was your rookie year.
Yes. And it was like, you were like, this is awesome.
Everyone was like, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, you're the man. And then they're booing you out of the stadium.
Yeah. And then the Bears happened, and you're like, oh, shit.
This isn't as fun. It was a learning process, man.
You guys are so good to me early, particularly you, Big Cat, and I appreciate that. I've never thanked you publicly.
Thank you. You're welcome.
The media, I didn't know how to navigate it. It's a huge market out there, and I can see why guys like Justin Fields are fields are struggling yeah and sometimes they're at a loss for words or the right words to say dude i actually jay was like go to the podium i'm not fucking doing it yeah and i had experience as a rookie so i referenced you uh twice last week because justin fields obviously had his comments where he was like uh we we care more and fans got mad about that and i said that was actually very similar similar.
Remember after, I think it was the Dolphins game, and you were like unacceptable for the fans to boo us. And Emma was like, no, fuck you, dude.
It's unacceptable that you say that. He needs a friend like you in Chicago to reach out and say, hey, like.
Just don't say that. That's right.
Yeah. You're fucking right.
But don't say it. But people's wounds are just as fresh as yours.
And they can't wait to point two fingers, the middle ones, at you. And then the other one I referenced was we were talking, we were joking about how every podcast has a QB on every week now.
Yeah. And I was saying that Jay always did it the right way because he did Waddle and Sylvie.
And then as soon as the Bears season took a turn, he'd just be like, hey, Kyle, why don't you go fill in for me for the rest of the season? I was the first one.

It's funny that you mention this.

Because you'd have to go after the worst losses.

The first Jay Cutler show on a Monday evening in Wheeling was, you know, I'm sitting in front of the Jay Cutler show banner.

And I'm talking to these guys.

And the special guest that they had a big surprise for was Brian Urlacher.

So I got upstaged by the banner and the Hall of Famer.

And then he took off his hat and he had a full head of hair.

It was like my day kept compounding.

It was getting worse.

We lost.

Jay didn't show up.

Urlacher did.

He took his fucking hat off.

He wasn't bald anymore.

Dude, you were a trooper, though, because it was like literally after every bad loss,

you just turn on the radio and be like, all right, welcome to the Jay Cutler show on Waddle

Oh, no. more you dude you were a trooper though because it was like literally after every bad loss you just turn on the radio and be like all right welcome to the jay cutler show on waddle and sylvie we we got kyle long in today just like so kyle uh when you guys you know lost by 20 28 this weekend how'd that feel you just sit there and take it like i missed seven blocks i counted them they were all my fault so So what is the roadmap? If you're giving Justin Fields advice on how to handle the media, because we've talked about it a little bit, and I think I've come to the conclusion that there's a lot of stuff that you just have to lie about all the time.
Especially if you're a quarterback, you can't be honest. There's no way that you can be completely honest and have people happy with you, because of course you don't give a shit about every single fan in attendance.
You care more about the people that you go to work with every day that you practice with i think everybody would feel that way it's not to say that you don't care about the fans but you probably care more about the guy that you spend you know 80 hours a week next to fighting with you just can't say it so what would you what would your advice be like what are some things not to say or some things that you found that you can just like pull out of your ass at any time and just like throw that out here's some red meat there you go pretty basically i would say be yourself but always keep in mind how the message is going to be received so there's there's two parties to the phone call that you're making you know you're going to say something and then somebody's going to be on the receiving end and how are they going to receive it be yourself the emotion is going to be there people don't need a calculator to figure out how you feel about it but the way you put it can set you up to have 20 30 40 50 years of success in that city people will love you how based on how you treat them and in large part a lot of people aren't going to meet you so what you say to them on camera feels like their first time meeting you. Yeah, that's really smart.
It's a good point to think about it. Even if you have a mediocre career in a certain city, especially if it's a big city like Chicago, if you're just nice to the media there and fans like you, you're right, you will be set up if you want to get into, I don't know, like opening restaurants or a car dealership or whatever.
People are going to remember that guy. They're going to remember that it's good.
And they're like, I saw him on that interview one time. And he always played hard.
He mentioned his kid. And you know what? I fucking respect him.
Yeah, right. Right.
He talked about bear weather and played hard. Yeah.
It's like played football. All you have to do, Virginia McCaskey, the goal every week, we'd get the goal from, you know, I talked to Virginia.
Here's what she said. Play hardosed bear football.
That's all they fucking care about. We should play hard and beat the shit out of people and then beat the Packers.
That's rule number one. Yeah, but that doesn't.
So maybe has she thought about let's let it fly or something? I don't know. Play technically sound football.
Or maybe just reversing one and two, beat the Packers one, and then beat them up up too just take it off the list do you was it weird when you went to uh kansas city was it like oh this is how a regular organization is run it was it was really really a breath of fresh air uh for me being around the best in the game at multiple positions at multiple coaching positions there were players that i remember from when i was growing up that were on the staff um helping out and and players listen to those guys you know what i'm saying dave tobe the special teams legend chicago bears we had a rough one last week we're gonna give him a get out of jail free card just based on the pelts on the wall for dave well the roof was open yeah jim mercy called it. The roof was open.
That was fucked him up. He opened the roof.
The sun came in on Kelsey's touchdown catch. And Sky Moore.
And on Sky Moore. Sky Moore.
It was two skies equals. No.
It was too many skies. Too many skies.
Too many skies. Skies is more.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, yeah, no, but it was, I'm sure, like, in being around Mahomes. So, yeah, yeah, I'll pick up where I left off.
I'm sorry. So, Andy Reid, first off, is a great coach, but it begins with his ability to teach.
And he can find guys who need teaching. It's like that really cool high school teacher that you had or that one teacher you remember from middle school.
You were like, fuck everybody, but that guy was awesome. And he had our backs.
And he cared about us. That's Andy Reid.
Yeah. And he loves working loves working with misfit toys and i consider myself one as well and he loved working on me and messing with me coming out of retirement he had a lot of questions for me patrick mahomes treated me like i'd play with him for 10 years that's awesome and i was a you know i was slotted to be the starting right guard and i broke my leg in the last week of otas um you know pat fucking took me to his golf tournament hawaii travis Hawaii Travis Kelsey Kelsey treated me like a brother and you know you love that and you earn that through a career of treating people the right way I go back to the Justin Fields thing it's like you treat your teammates the right way you treat the fans the right way you play the game the right way yeah it all comes back to you right so right what was it about what does Andy Reid do in practice like is he a hands guy? Because I – without ever having watched him in a practice or like observed him close up, he seems like he's been around for so long that he kind of would be a guy who could sit back and who could just, you know, design what the game plan is going to be and not like a hands-on coach's coach.
Like Bobby Bowden in the tower versus a coach on the field. Yeah, so what was his vibe? Andy's, you know, the guy that's walking around stretch lines and he'll slap you on the helmet and say something quirky.
You know, it's almost like the Joey Molinaro skits where he does the coaches because that's exactly what it's like. He's down there with the guys.
Everybody loves it when Big Red comes up to you and says something. And when he leaves, everybody's going to fine you for getting called out by the head coach in a good or a bad way but Andy he wears Air Force Ones every day icy whites he's got the the the knee high socks on um shorts he loves watching I'm thinking in my head he loves going to watch the offensive line during individuals so like right when stretch breaks and we go to our individual period he's down there with the O-line he loves watching O-line that's what he into.
I think that's why I took a liking to him, even more so than I already have. Yeah, what about Mahomes? Did he get you a present? He did.
What did he get the O-Line in? I love those stories. I'm wearing it tonight, actually.
That watch? Yeah, it's a Batman Rolex. Oh, that's sick.
I don't have a nice watch, and he got the entire O-Line watches. It's pretty sick.
That's amazing. Is that the best gift you've ever gotten? I i've gotten some awesome gifts but this has to be the one that i get the most use out of yeah when you were you you were obviously on the sideline for the bills game right yeah it was awesome that so i actually weirdly enough i happened to uh they were playing it i think on espn last night they were doing like the mic'd up uh retrospective of the game um that moment when travis kelsey with like seven seconds left just turned to mahomes like yo i'm gonna be open up the seam here and then and then mahomes like do it do it do it in the right before he snaps the ball it had the play happened before the play it was crazy uh it was like something i'd never seen before and and i'll go back to the things i was appreciative about being there as you get to see the synergy of these Hall of Famers.
Travis Kelsey puts in work. When the offense and defense are over there doing their drills, sometimes Travis will take five minutes and I watch him.
He goes to the other field and he closes his eyes. He walks through routes.
He visualizes things. And you kind of laugh at him.
You're like, what's Mr. Miyagi doing over there? And then he goes out and you see the same three moves that he was practicing over there come to life on the field.
It could be against the Chargers when he caught that ball over the middle and went for goddamn 99, whatever the hell it was. The game was over.
Same thing with the Bills game. It's Pat and Travis finding a way to link up.
And, man, it's so special to watch. It was very, very cool for him to just like backyard football and be like, hey, look, I see the leverage.
Clapping his hands over there. Yeah, I see the leverage the cornerback has.
I'm just going to run up the seam here and just hit me. And he did.
And it was like that was the game. And it was, I don't know.
That was the first game that Chris went to when I was on the Chiefs. Because I was back in pads.
I was on the active roster. I was, you know, next man up.
And I was ready. Were you doing special teams? I wasn't.

I was just back up right tackle, right guard.

Ready to go.

And every day I went against Frank Clark.

And at first I was on one and a half legs.

And then they put me in a guard.

And I had to figure out how to get on two legs against Chris Jones.

Again, he landed on me inadvertently in the spring.

And that's how I got my leg broken.

But going back against him was like a mental hurdle. So I was ready to go that Bill's game uh dad was there as well in the suite so they got to watch that game and dad now has an in-person appreciation for what Patrick can do and what the offense is capable of yeah yeah how long did it take or I guess this is valid this year too but for you last year how long does it take an offensive line to gel because what i'm looking at right now is uh the bangles right the bangles i guess in theory upgraded their line but we haven't seen the results of that just yet so if you're putting misfit toys as you call it together you know they might be talented yeah never played before how long does that take to become like a unit i would say it takes at least four to five live weeks before you start to really feel comfortable uh playing next to a guy let alone an entire patchwork offensive line now the one thing you have to think about is two of their guys came from Super Bowl champion teams um you know they get uh they get a lineman from Karis right they get Karis yeah from the Patriots he's a Super Bowl winner.
They get Alex Kappa from the Bucs, Super Bowl winner. You bring an absolute hitman in, Lael Collins, and put him at right tackle.
You think it's going to work immediately, but then you go look at it, and Jonah Williams is having technical issues on the left side. I talked about it on the green light pod he's he's flashing hands he's dropping his hand instead of making first significant touch they want to pull a guy on power but the deuce is getting blown up and the puller can't make it around it's little thing it's like the fundamentals of football which goes to your point it takes a while for these guys to gel they know how to play football but they they haven't figured out how to do it together yet right are there certain types of players that you would take longer than others to learn how to play next to oh man that's a really good question um billy a guy a guy that's really easy to play next to the easiest guy i ever played next to was like charles leno uh charles leno jr of the commanders uh you know his technique was something that you saw repeated every day in practice he worked it and he did it intentionally so if i'm watching him do his technique if we get in a certain situation in the game i know exactly how he's going to play it because i've seen him do it a million times i haven't seen him do it another way you get a guy who's a kind of a physical freak but maybe a not a technician he gets in there, he goes what we like to call rogue

in the offensive line rooms.

Just like any means necessary.

A guy gets pissed off.

Maybe he got beat the last series and the sack didn't happen,

but he remembers that it happened and he's pissed.

He may go rogue.

And his technique goes out of play,

and if there's a combination with him in the center,

if there's a combination with him in the tackle,

he may not be in the right mindset to do the right technique. A guy like Charles Leno, very easy to play next to.
The guy who goes rogue, that's not good. It doesn't look good for him, doesn't look good for me, and somebody's going to get hit.
And I understand the mentality because it's such a physical position that if you get beat, it's human nature to want to go out there and want to get that guy back. You have to remain calm, and you have to understand that that play happened and that you get another opportunity and potentially dozens more to go get after somebody.
But you have to do it the right way. Who would you say on a football team, what room is the biggest group of psychos? Would it be offensive linemen? I've heard defensive linemen.
No, I would say cornerbacks. If cornerbacks were any bigger, we would have to just put them all away.
They just have so much confidence, and you have to. You have to just put them away, put them down.
You just have so much confidence at all times. All cornerbacks.
Safeties, there's some guys that are different, but the cornerbacks in particular are psychopaths. Defensive linemen are just, you know, standard loony bin characters.
Yeah, cornerbacks, you have to be really good at at cheating that's what i've figured out about the position the best players at the cornerback position are the ones who get away with cheating all the time and they figured out the tricks of how you can cheat and not get caught because if you don't cheat playing cornerback the rules are set up to the point where it's impossible to play the position yeah you can't be a good cornerback and not cheat it's just actually not possible to do. They're cheating in their technique, obviously, and sometimes they get away with it, to your point, but they're also cheating in percentages.
I played with Kyle Fuller, who is one of the best cheaters when it comes to prep. These guys are so confident in their percentages.
I know on third and seven he's going to throw that hitch. I know he's going to throw the hitch.
And then he breaks on it, he makes it. Next third and seven, I know he's going to throw the hitch.
He's gone for a nine route. Yeah, right.
Kyle Fuller led the league in picks because he prepared. A lot of corners don't prepare.
They just believe in their instinct and they trust their gut back to the psychopath. Yeah, craziest confidence by far on the field.
It has to be because it's also the position like you're on an island more than anyone else. You're not with your teammates half the time.
They leave the league in pointing at other people. My favorite is like right as the ball is going over their head, they look around and they start looking like, where's my help? Where's my help? Right.
And it's also the one position where you have literally an insult saying for every time they drop a ball, you're like, that's why they're not a wide receiver. And it's just like, oh's just like oh that's that's very true and also how about the my i have a real gripe with them celebrating when it's just a drop yeah yeah or like yeah they do the incomplete like it's an overthrown out of way out of bounds yeah you're gonna get roasted in meetings by your coach you're gonna get roasted by your teammates that's gotta celebrate the small stuff you're right yeah especially when you're on an island have at.
I think it's, you know, the old saying, like, any day you wake up is a good day? Yeah. For them, it's like any pass that doesn't get completed to the person I'm directly assigned with covering, that's a good play.
We can relate as offensive linemen there, because even if you get beat and you say, throw it, Jay! Yeah, right. He gets the ball out and he gets murdered, but the ball gets out and it's not a sack? Hey, man.

I blocked you. Here's a question that I feel like we've gotten a lot smarter, not us, but media, talking about offensive linemen and understanding what they're doing.
Shout out our guy Jeff Schwartz. I feel like he's at the forefront of helping people.
Jeff Schwartz is smarter than you. Yeah, smarter than you.
He says it right there in the podcast title. But how much would you say, like, on a given Sunday, how many sacks are offensive linemen that's on them or it's the quarterback that's on them? They didn't step up into a clean pocket.
They held the ball too long. Because I think we're starting to realize, like, people will just say, oh, Joe Burrow sacked, like, 13 times.
Like, well, Well, you should watch because Joe Burrow, he's got balls. He'll hold on to the ball until the end.
That's actually a good job by his offensive lineman. That's kind of on him sometimes.
So Chris always says Joe Burrow's a quarterback without conscience. Yes.
Yes, that's a great saying. And he's going to keep pressing.
He's going to keep throwing to B. Yes.
Even if you know he's going to throw to B, he's going to hit it. He's going to hit it last second.
Because he's done it really hot before. Yeah.
So, to your point with, you know, the – fuck. The sacks and, like, how much you can attribute to, like, hey, that's offensive line players.
A lot of it – there's a third category, and I'm trying to figure out how to say it. So, defensive line wins.
Right wins right offensive line lack of technique or failure to be within the framework of our playbook you know sometimes a guy expects to have help he doesn't have help and it looks like shit on tv and it only looks like shit for one guy and that's a left tackle right or like a tight end supposed to chip and he doesn't chip and it's like well that kind of fucked me up so there definitely needs needs to be like i would say out of if there was uh nine sacks in the game or seven sacks in the commander's game right i think it's nine nine nine yeah okay five first five in a row yeah yeah so i went and watched those sacks and all five of those sacks in the first half were on the offensive line okay really the fletletcher Cox sack the O-lineman got beat

at the drop of a hat with an inside bull the Hargrave sack he beat him with the same move at the right defensive tackle spot Charles Leno got two great hands on the guy and if you paused it on the on that still frame you would think the guy was sweat was blocked sweat hits him with a two-hand swipe and gets to carson then you get uh bg with a sack on the other side they're all they're all wins by the eagles d line right then you look at the second half carson might be doing too much patting the ball floating around in the pocket but not really moving anywhere like my guy mitch trubisky i'll give him his credit he gets out of the pocket with intent to go pull up somewhere else but he's not going to linger around the pocket I like this because that I know Josh Allen's the same way right he leaves Aaron Rodgers very similar but his doesn't look as explosive as Josh Allen right now right but no Aaron Rodgers have always said like Aaron Rodgers and Brady are very simple Aaron Rodgers Brady slow as shit but he can get out of there. Their mobility is actually one of their best attributes because it's like they're saying, I'm going to slide this way and not take an extra step.
It's not that they can run. It's not often built into the protection.
They know which side the rush is coming from, which way the shell is and where the corners could be adding in late or linebackers, and they find a way to step up and find the sweet spot. Now, those quarterbacks are very rare, and they make a big living doing it, obviously, but the rest of the field here doesn't do that.
And Carson Wentz patted the ball a little bit. He was floating into his O-linemen's backs.
It's almost like he closed his eyes a little bit. I think he does.
No, he does. He actually gets anxiety in the middle of plays.
I can relate to that. But he's fine when he gets the ball, and then he's like, oh, shit, I have to play football right now.
And then he panics, and then, yes, you're right, he closes his eyes, and then he just – he gets sacked by his own offensive linemen's backs probably like three times a game. Yeah, he does.
See, and that's just pocket back and play madden 2009 they had those mini drills you remember these mini drills where it was like the pad would just float at you you have to left stick around the pocket circle yeah no right stick you're just out there fucking yeah what about uh a guy like we were joking on on wednesday's show uh daniel jones who sometimes his internal clock you're like what is this like he he just doesn't think there's ever going to be a defensive lineman about to tackle him and he's just like he should because if you watch the film from the micah parsons debacle yeah he would understand that the right guard and the right tackle and you know what sack i'm talking about it was all over twitter he hit three guys the right the right guard doesn't even know what to do with a looping three technique, and Billy would be able to tell you what to do with a looping three technique. You're going to snap off the looper, get him off the hip of your tackle, then you can receive the next guy.
It's a T first, and then an E comes. The T or the E, neither of them got blocked.
Both of them got pushed over. So that's what Daniel Jones is working with.
All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's Protein Bar is made with Reese's Peanut Butter. And only one Hershey's Cookies and Cream Protein Bars is made with Hershey's Cookie Bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar.
One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout. One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler.
Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com who's the most like uh fearsome defensive player that you played against was there a guy there's a man there's this guy terrifies me yeah not one that we think of like i'm gonna give you a couple names obviously uh 2015 i played tackle and and we used everything and the kitchen sink against Khalil Mack when the Raiders came.

That sucked for you when they moved you to tackle.

No sacks, that game.

Two weeks before.

My first game of that year, after they cut Jordan Mills, my best buddy,

the right tackle.

They literally were like, Kyle, you can play tackle a week before.

They said, we need to sign a tackle.

I was like, don't sign a tackle.

I can play.

And the back of my mind was like, if I can go block some people, they've got to pay like a tackle. Even a bottom of the barrel tackle gets paid better than a guard.
So that was your doing? Yeah. Because I felt bad for you because it was like he's learning a new fucking position.
Most intimidating was week one, Big Cat. Julius Peppers.
JFP. Okay.
And I gave up a sack on the third series or something like that and when i went to go block him while he was already engulfing cutler three of my fingers separated and were laying like this on my hand i had to put him back and they're like get back out there and i was like god i don't know if i love football this much yeah dude that's i went back out there I'm blocked. And, you know, remember the cast I wore for like, I wore a cast for one year.

Because I was. football this much yeah dude that's i went back out there and bought and you know remember the cast i wore for like i wore a cast for one year because i wouldn't dare put my fingers on anything i was such and john fox gave me so much shit he said kyle long missed a practice with a finger today you know he made a point to say that at the end football sucks man like what the hell i don't i don't think that you could pay me enough money to like have a job where i'd have to go in dislocate all my fingers take my other hand put them back into place and then go shove a 315 pound guy if any man slaps you on the ass and says get back in there yeah it sucks the best you're not my dad uh chris once told me a story how how he was like this is what happens when you get injured you get get injured, and if you have to go in the locker room, they take you in the locker room.
And then a guy who's like 150 pounds in khakis and a team polo just stares at you kind of like sighing like, you're not going to get back out there. And you have to just sit there and be like, fuck, I guess I'm going to get back out there.
One thing I give the NFL credit for is there's always a decision to be made. You always have a choice.
You know what I'm saying? Right. But that guy, he was like, that guy just stares at you.
Take the red pill or the blue pill here. And I'm not saying medicine.
It's like two paths you're going to take. You're either not playing and we're going to figure out how to get you to the train station.
Right. Or you're going to get back in there and you're going to help your damn team because you're a stud.
Right. Right.
But yeah, that stuck with me when he told me that story. He's like, there's just a guy who sits there.
He looks like he should be an accountant. And he just stares at you like, you pussy.
And it's like, what do you mean? Now my fucking fingers are broken. It's always an orthopedic surgeon.
Yeah. There's a room full of three guys.
And I always talk about the guys in blazers, right? Yeah. It's like the men in black.
You know the aliens are near. But the guys in blazers, you know that there's some MRIs coming.
Yeah. When they're, so how does that work with the Hippocratic Oath or whatever that doctors are supposed to take, which is do no harm? But in this case, the doctors are back there, and they know that if this guy decides he's going to go back into a game, he's probably going to do harm.
I would say that I was never pressured to go back into a game by a guy in a blazer.

I was often guilt-tripped by trainers to get back into a game.

The guys that they have, they do work for the team, the orthos.

That's where they're going to send you to get shoulder surgery.

I've become friends with some of these guys,

and they're legit third-party looking out for the guys. They're never going to say, get the fuck back in the game, you're a pussy.
They're not going to say that to you. Definitely not to my face.
Right. But the trainers, they'll say anything, and you can't hit them.
You're a pro bowler, right? Yeah. Of course he's a pro bowler.
Are you bummed out about the pro bowl? I think that there should still be a list of pro Bowlers at the end of every year, and I think there should be some form of fan interactive experience where the guys get to showcase their personalities first and foremost. I was thinking maybe American Gladiator style.
Oh, the Tennis Ball Gun. I want to see Russell Wilson in like a spiky shoulder padded thing up there shooting tennis ball guns at linebackers.
And I want to see Aaron Donald on a giant catwalk with one of those gladiator sticks. Just fucking people up.
And then someone gets hurt. And then we're like, and then I want to see, and then I want to see a seven on seven game where the offensive line plays against the defensive line and the quarterbacks are real quarterbacks.
And you guys are running and getting routes i want to see lane johnson and miles garrett go man to man i don't i want to see two of our best specimens on the field going at it you know what i'm saying because i got you and me we want to see freaks be freaks yeah exactly i don't care if there's a football you're you're in the freak category i always thought like you want you are how much weight have you lost i'm about 290 right now so i was 340 when i was i remember when we stayed at your house too like that was we've told this story before but like we stayed at your house for a few nights you didn't even know we were there at the end you we we got we came up from your basement we're like hey uh kyle we're gonna be out of here and you were playing video games you're like oh you guys are still here, but your fridge was elite. You had like,

you. your basement we're like hey uh kyle we're gonna be out of here and you were playing video games you're like oh you guys are still here but your fridge was elite you had like you had probably like 30 frozen pizzas in the freezer just having to eat out to my buddy nick yeah he's living there you had to eat the whole time because you were just like i got it like i remember you pounded a full pizza at like 11 30 at night wait i pretended it was a chore well Well, no, you were just like, I got to keep my weight on.
It was my fantasy, really, is playing in the NFL. Like, I just, you know, you get to eat a gummy and then eat, you know, three Farentino's pizza.
And just pound some ice cream and do the whole thing. I love it.
And then you're still 12% body fat at 330. All right, so how fast do you think you can throw a baseball right now? Right now, it's funny you ask.
On the way to the football field from where I park at the high school where I coach, there's a baseball field where I played at in high school, and I would stop by there all the time. So I stopped by yesterday, and they were just warming up.
So I grabbed the baseball, and I threw a couple. I was like, damn, I kind of got a live arm.
And I walked away. It was a good time to walk away.
But when I got in the car and I shut the door, my shoulder went clunk clunk. Oh.
I was going to say, you should try to make a baseball comeback. I need Tommy John and shoulder.
You should make a baseball comeback. Because what were you throwing at your peak? I was probably sitting 94 to 96 from the left side.
You are a freak. Are you and Chris at the level in Charlottesville where just if you just show up at a random field and you're like, hey, let me get a couple of tosses in.

They just like hand you whatever ball you want.

Like I push the dads out of the way.

Feel like all the you dads are just sitting over there.

I'm like, get the fuck out of the way.

They're great.

I'm 16.

It's all right. Yeah.

I'm Danny.

I'm not.

No, I mean, it's that's the high school I played at.

So it's cool to walk up there.

And some kids don't realize who the fuck I am. And that's awesome.
I love that because I'd love to make a first impression on people. But some kids are like, hey, idiot, that's his name on the wall like seven times.
Right, right, right. How's your job as coach going? It's fun.
It's frustrating. It can be frustrating, and it's rewarding.
Any coach can probably relate to what I'm saying. I want nothing but the best for the dudes.
I work them hard. And there's some kids you're like, I would love to play with that guy.
There's some kids on our team that I'm like, you're cut out mentally for the NFL. I don't know if you have what it takes to go D1 or play in the league, but some guys are tough.
And then some guys are like, who made you blink like this if somebody made you come here? Yeah, just mom getting you out of the house for a while? Yeah. Please, we've got to rescue you.
I am the babysitter for some of these guys. Yeah, describe to me your offense.
What kind of sets are we running? We like to run a lot of spread sets. We've got a good running back.
We've got a Christian McCaffrey-type running running back, and we got a quarterback who can sling it around. So we put as many skill guys on the field and do a lot of empty protection.
But we're learning some heavier formations. We worked on double teams this week, and Coach Long was getting his ass whooped in the double teams.
I was like, if you can block me, you can block them, right? So you do jump in sometimes. I jump in there.
I throw my hand on the ground, and I'm like, hey.

And they're like, how hard do you want me to go?

I'm like, please.

Harder than you're going right now.

Do you miss that?

Do you miss contact?

I do.

You miss contact, but you never want to be like, all right, Johnny, line up.

I'm going to show you what I'm driving.

Yeah, that becomes a viral video very quickly.

You're like, okay, you guys can hit me, and I want to prove a point that working together

and being hip-to-hip is like, and you can be violent, and you're still a nice kid.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Do you still talk to Chip Kelly at all?

I don't know. You guys can hit me, and I want to prove a point that working together and being hip-to-hip is like, and you can be violent,

and you're still a nice kid.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Do you still talk to Chip Kelly at all?

I don't talk to Chip.

Great dude.

We've got to have him on the show.

He's great.

I need to catch up.

He talks to my dad.

Oh, okay. They text, I guess.

Got it.

And I don't, which is weird.

I was lucky enough to spend a long night at a bar with Chip Kelly

over Super Bowl.

He's a beaut. Great dude.
He's a beaut. We've got to have him on the show he he feels like he'd fit right in yeah i mean he he revolutionized college football like everyone does what chip kelly did 10 years ago and now they probably do it better that offense was dominant i never i never more in my career middle school little league aau high school i never felt like we were gonna win win more than i did stepping off the bus with the oregon ducks offense the my favorite like it's sad that like some of my favorite memories are just gambling memories but that is unfortunately my brain but one of my favorite gambling memories is betting on the oregon ducks and not even watching the game but the lower third the the score bug switching over like a minute into the game eight nothing oregon and you're like oh yep we're good we're going we're doing it yes like literally like 13 47 in the first quarter eight nothing oregon they put up 48 against fresno in the first half let's go i can shut off the app yeah right this is sick like they're going for too early like we were we used every inch of the field we put a guy marcus mariotta at quarterback and gave him a chance to run a juggernaut offense with a bunch of freaks on the outside and we had some good linemen on the inside too but chip kelly knew it before we did yeah and he put us in the right places yeah why why what's the difference between playing that offense in college and then trying to take that to the nfl old men never worked old men

money really money money convinces players not to go as hard and practice and train yourself to be on the ball after 12 seconds and catch the defense on their heels and be able to shove it down the defense's throat and it's also i always thought because obviously chip kelly that eagles like when they started that that you know that what was it the first week the monday night Football game when they when Michael Vick had it was like they scored like 42 points or something. No, it was I think it was 52 to seven.
It was crazy. It's like go look at Nick Foles numbers.
Right. It was crazy.
Like 50 touchdowns, like three interceptions. Yeah.
Something like that. But but I always thought the problem within the NFL is like you have to you have to give your defense a break and you can't like if you get because the the chip Kelly offense is great but if you get a three and out and it's like you score a touchdown in a minute and then you get a three and out the next time and then you look up and you're like wait our defense has been on the field for this I never thought about it like that I always think about it as you can rotate linemen if you're going really fast and you're trying to really out hustle everybody you can yeah put in a bunch of Charlie Hustle guys spend all your money on skill guys that are actual track athletes that can just run all day yeah yeah what about um what i think is maybe the most impressive under talked about playing in uh football is at the end of a game when you get a first down and you have to have your entire offensive line sprint like 30 40 yards down the field get to the line of scrimmage and then everyone has to stand completely still before they snap the ball and spike it to get the big dudes running down the field that fast that quickly and then to just like stop on a dime how much does that suck it sucks as a coach i can imagine it sucks it's awful as a player particularly when you're moving down at the end of the game.
You're fucking gassed, bro. And there was a number of times on the Bears we had comeback games.
I had dozens of two-minute drills in the fourth quarter. Some won, some lost.
I remember I was tired every single one of them. The thing is you've got to sprint up there, and there's always somebody lagging behind.
And you never want to be that guy because it shows on film, and you're going to see it it on Monday and the coach is going to call you out for it. The guys on the bus aren't going to talk to you.
It sucks. I saw this one video of a lineman getting up to the line of scrimmage and then just staying perfectly still but puking as they snap the ball.
That epitomizes the mode of operations for the offensive line. Under all circumstances, even if the sky is falling, you continue to fucking play football.
What's the – this might be a dumb question, but if you – let's say a drive, right? What's the point in a drive? Is there like a play point, 9th, 10th, 11th play, where you're like, this defense is gassed, we got him? That's a really good question. And it was always whenever we'd cross the you know the the opposing like 45 yeah midfield is like the battleground you know what i'm saying but if you can put a dent in that defense's armor and move the chains once then you can prove to yourself that's momentum that's confidence you know i'm saying if we can repeat that again and usually after you get a first down be it on the ground you can hit them a hard play action, and you get the energy turning or up at a place like Soldier Field, man.
Yeah. The other one that I always wonder, and our good friend Sam Schwartstein, kind of like he put it in my ear that I never really thought about it, but the NFL, like everyone's fallen in love with the pass.
You see the Bills against the Dolphins. They ran like 90 plays.
There weren't a lot of run plays. of run plays as an offensive lineman that has like you have to go forward at some point right like is there a point where you're like we can't pass this much we have to run the ball because just just purely like going backwards constantly kills your offensive line in terms you're talking in terms of stamina or stamina mentality everything i think it takes a huge mental hit on you as an offensive lineman when you know you're going to be blocking, pass blocking, 50-plus times in a game.
Right. And it becomes a Big 12 shootout because no offensive lineman wants to ever pass protect.
Right. Right.
And when he said that to me, I was like, oh. Because we're on defense.
Now, the great offensive linemen, the elite guys, the Lane Johnsons of the world, are going to put pause on people, and they're playing offensively within the pass game. There's not many guys who can do that from a mental standpoint, let alone a physical standpoint.
We want to know where the ball's going, what the snap count is, and that we are going to be able to hit them before they hit up. And that's the running game.
That's why guys like Andy Heck, heck offensive line coaches stand on the table for runs and andy reed's like i'm gonna throw that son of a bitch 70 times right that andy heck's like well if you want it we got five yards right here on this right right because i i never really thought about it like i i think everyone falls in love with the pass and the analytics of like oh yeah like passing on first down's a great move. And like you obviously can get more yards in the passing game.

But if you just ask your big guys to go backwards for an entire game,

it's going to suck for them and it's not going to be as –

like you have to let them go off.

You can flip that on its heels and say we want them to be going backwards,

which is the run game.

And like statistically speaking,

you take a look at teams that lead the league in rushing touchdowns. Running the football into the end zone is demoralizing for a defense.
You ever take a still shot of the defense three seconds after a rushing touchdown scored? Heads down, hands on hips, a lot of Forrest Gumping, pointing fingers. The pass game, it's a quick touchdown.
Okay, we'll get him back. They threw it in.
We'll get it back. We just saw what it looks like it's easy yeah the running game is like go fucking replicate that i love that mentality replicate that ass whooping we just put on your defense right because i i assume you see it on on twitter sometimes where like some people in the analytics community would be like why not just pass more like gotta pass more it's like well these are guys playing in this game like there's a mentality that involved in this game.
You got to run the ball just out of a pure, like, let them fucking put their hands on someone and go forward. There's too many smart guys in the building now.
Yeah. Too much brains in the building.
I like it just being like, run the ball. There needs to be a limit on, like, degrees.
Yeah. Degrees accrued upstairs.
Yeah. I would say the number of people who wear glasses.
Yeah, that's a good one. Or have had LASIK.
Yeah, we're at one in, one out. That's why, like, we got Jake in the room right now.
Right. That's plenty of us.
And I had LASIK, so you count with Jake. What's the best block you've ever made? Ooh, best block I've ever made.
There was a run we had in Indianapolis, I believe where jordan howard was a running back to the right side was a good one it was a you know outside zone we had another outside zone against minnesota that was a real fun play i mean i'm sure you guys could pull this up but uh outside zone to the right both those plays big explosive runs you know i mean easy to find probably on jordan highlight. Yeah.
Every block I made for Matt Forte. The best.
Because he makes you look great all the time. Any highlight film you're in with Matt Forte, you look sexy.
Yeah. I thought you were going to say Deadspin when they posted your cock.
Yeah, that was a good highlight. And then block them.
Yeah. I was mad for you.
I was mad for you. It was a weird.
And you guys, again, the homies, we did a great episode. Yeah, we had John right after.
We tried to get out in front of him. That's how you do it.
That's how you do it. Yeah.
Get right on it. Like I saw – did you guys see – I was like – I called you and I was like – because Chris was fighting the good fight.
Oh, he was mad. Because fuck them.
Oh, yeah. Big time fuck them.
And now I really did a good job of storing it away mentally and not even thinking about it. Sorry to bring that up.
No, no, no. No, no.
But recently I've been talking to Chris. I'm like, fuck them.
Yeah. We got to do something about that.
Yeah. And I called you and I was like, hey, I got to make some jokes about this because I'm feeling some type of way right now.
Right. Yeah, it was great.
You get on the bus and they're like, have you seen Twitter, bro? I'm like, what happened on Twitter, bro? Yeah, oh, cool. We got a win.
I didn't block anybody. Isn't that against the law that they were posting your cock? Yeah.
I feel like it should be against the law. We'll sue them for it.
Don't make me calm down there and handle it. Yeah.
I showed face here today. I know you've talked about this before.
They had the air conditioning humming in that locker room. It worked.
It was efficient. It was a balmy evening, so there was some moisture in the air.
There was cool air. You always were a cold shower guy after a game.
I was on the cold tub therapy train before all these fucking gurus. Because you're a fucking warrior.
Do you see this? You were doing Wim Hof, weren't you? Do you see this shit right here? Yeah. Your body was all.
You had been swimming in cold water all fucking day. Yeah, you were doing Wim Hof before.
You were doing your breathing exercises. Yeah.
Cold, minus 80. I get in there and I just go Joe Rogan on it.
Like you're on a roller coaster in the drop part. That was a messed up day in sports.
I'll just say, we had your back back on that one for sure you don't post salute to all the soldiers well no i i'll say that it sounds sentimental but like i learned through barstool like there are it's hard to be friends with guys because eventually you have to criticize them so like i i made some friends early on and those guys are my friends forever, and you're one of them.

And it's like I now probably keep a little more distance because, like, I probably have to criticize this guy.

But I always, like, felt personally attacked when people would attack you.

And it's like, you know, it was cool that I was able to –

I'm built for this shit, though.

I got cut out of Jay's life for, like, five years.

You got cut out too, right, for a few years?

Oh, Cutler.

I thought you got cut out of his life.

No, no, you got cut out of Jay's life for a while. Yeah, you know, Cuddy has to keep his distance.
Yeah, he cuts you and then he brings you back. That's how it goes.
Yeah, he gets you hungry again. Shout out to Cuddy.
I went like five years where I was cut out, but I'm back. Yeah.
Are you back? I was chasing the train for like two years. I'm going to slow down enough and I grabbed on.
You're back? Yeah. I think it's got good.
It's got good things going on. Okay, good, good.
It's good that we're back. Yeah.
We're both back. yeah we're both back shout out to us comeback players of the year yeah it was there was a time where it was like i may never be back but i'm back yeah he's got a good system he keeps you hungry it's like oh he's low-key he's the most low-key mysterious guy ever yeah like oh one day you just won't get a text back and then that won't happen for five years yeah unfortunately he leaves you just waiting huh, huh? Should we get Billy involved? Yeah.
We're shopping at the bit. The first time Billy met Kyle, I think Billy looks at Kyle like Steve Irwin looked at gigantic crocodiles.
Billy was just super impressed with your size at first. He just loves to look at you.
And he's like, he studies you. No, no.
Crazy story. So it was when I first started.
I was an intern in summer 2017. So we met Kyle first and we were going to jj watt and so seeing kyle's like holy like you know when you have a dog and like i have a big dog and you see other dogs and they're like that even though like just juxtaposition like that's a tiny dog compared to my dog yeah i was with that's how i look at whitey compared to what yeah exactly so i'm with kyle we're not talking about co anymore, right? No, no, no.
Yeah, definitely not. We didn't see each other's Cox, by the way.
I asked him. How old were you? I was 18.
I was 18. I was 18.
That was a joke, Mom. So then when we saw J.J.
Watt, I was looking at J.J. Watt, and I was like, oh, this guy isn't that big compared to Kyle.
Yeah. Like seeing J.J.
Watt, you at that time dwarfed J.J. Watt.
Yeah, no, you were a freak. That just blew my mind.
You and Lane Johnson, I always said, like, when people are like, oh, offensive linemen aren't great athletes, like look at Kyle Long and look at Lane Johnson and tell me that. And Lane's in a different, you know, like Simeon Rice used to say, I'm in a different, like, what did he say? Echelon.
Yeah. Different, whatever.
That's Lane Johnson. He's like extraterrestrial.
I think he ran like a 4.8 or something. Yeah, he beat me by like .1.
Yeah, what did you run? Him and Teron Armstead beat me. And I think I ran like a 4.88 or a 4.9 or something.
And all natural, too. Natty, like fresh off of maybe a can of dip and a power bar.
Did you ever get a carry in the NFL? Did you ever run the fumble ruski for it? I caught a ball off a tip drill in Minnesota, and then Brian Robinson and I believe, what was the other defensive end's name from Minnesota? They were killing us. Jared out? Not Jared out.
No, no. Oh, fuck.
They cut me in half. Yeah.
Like this. And then I thought.
It was going to drive me nuts. It always happens like that.
You remember the Marshall Newhouse play? Yes. Where he got flipped over? Yes.
His eyes got as wide as saucers. Like the Miami Dolphins guy.
Yeah. No, that's our guy.
Marshall Newhouse. No, no, no.
That's a different guy. The new Miami Dolphins guy.
The new Miami Dolphins guy. From last year when the O-lineman went head over heels at the goal line.
Oh, yes. That was a beautiful play.
And they've been on a hitting streak ever since. So maybe the strat is throw the football to the fat guys.
What about, have you ever been used as a fullback? In high school. They should have used you as a fullback in the NFL.
They should have. They're starting to do that more often now.
I think I'm too tall for that. You think so? Yeah.
But, yeah, you got good hip flexibility. Good hip flexibility.
You can get low if you want to. Yeah, but you got to start low.
You know, you can't just run in there high and then get low. That's why fullbacks are just built by God very low.
That's true. Everson Griffin.
Everson Griffin sawed me in half. Yes, okay.
That was going to drive me nuts if I didn't fucking look up his name. Thank you.
A lot of sacks. I heard that name a lot on the PA system.
What's the hardest you've ever been hit by somebody? My rookie year, I believe it was, I pulled against the Bengals and Ray Maluga was there on power and his head is as large as the pumpkin that my brother's going to float down the fucking James River and he hit me so hard I could have sworn I had a concussion. I never asked anybody about it, and I just kind of went along with my day, trying to block Gino Atkins.
I said, well, that fucking hurt, and now I've got to go block Gino. That sucked.
What other questions you got, Billy? It's been a long time. I mean, it's been five years since I saw him.
How was your weekend? How was your Saturday? What's your favorite thing about being here since I saw you last? Because when you started, you were like, man, it's just fucking crazy. I'm just trying to hang on here.
Yeah, I mean, being here, there's always something new. You always are excited just on a Sunday to just get in and get involved.
Do you just hang out here? Yeah, you're going to do a Sunday with us. We come in sundays at like noon do i bring beer no we don't drink on sunday because we're here till like two in the morning you can drink beer i thought it was religious you can you can okay great great great but keep the beer away from other people who will not be named so this is like truman show in terms of like yeah we're just all hanging out getting fucked up and watching sports and then it's like hey you gottavers.
Yeah. Well, the thing is, like, people think that we get fucked up and sit around watching sports.
I'm kind of playing that up. Yeah.
But I wish that's what we did. Yeah.
It'd be great. It'd be great.
It'd be fun. Yeah.
Come to me and Chris's. Maybe we'll do it one Sunday.
Just have a Sunday fun day. Yeah.
Yeah. People will always say, like, on the streams, like, they'll be watching us on the streams.
They'll be like, in sight what is this is sad well it's our job so that's right yeah it's like yeah professional i would like to drink and sit on my couch all sunday trust me you don't want us to drink because you're not going to want to watch no yeah yeah drunk pie we do i'm gonna get angry we do it a couple times a year it's funny but more than that and it's like what are you guys doing yeah yeah we've carried away what about you and chris we've had a couple people asked me and big cat this recently like when we fight and uh i'm always curious to know because you you know you do a podcast of chris you seem like you're close you guys seem like you're good friends you guys ever fight about anything oh yeah i mean we fight all the time about stuff and we're getting more adult about it as we get older but oh nice disagreements not disagreementsements? Not fights? Disagreements are even harder than fights because fights, there's some closure to it, at least physically. But yeah, we never really fist fought or anything.
We had the rare opportunity to play against each other. And I broke his rib once, and there was an actual brawl in St.
Louis in the rookie year on Thanksgiving. And punches were thrown.
Kicks were allegedly kicked. Didn't you kiss him?

Hold on a second.

You always kiss him.

Who knows?

Who knows that me and Chris kissed?

I heard you kissed him.

Who told?

Did you guys fucking?

I heard you kissed him during a game.

I kissed him, too.

Yeah.

He walked in and kissed him.

He's handsome.

That's Jason Momoa back there.

Yeah.

That girl right there. That's amazing.
Yeah. That girl right there.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

That's his name.

You kind of look like a Jason Kelsey stunt double, too.

Oh, that was nice.

I was told that.

I'm a big Eagles fan, too.

Oh, my God.

I'm from the area.

I was told that one time in a Lululemon, best compliment I've ever gotten before in my entire life.

That is incredible.

Has Howie ever had to step in?

To our fight?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, sometimes the disagreements pour over into almost fights.

Yeah, right.

I was... has how we ever had to step in to be like to our fight yeah i mean yeah sometimes the disagreements pour over into almost fights yeah right unless you know until the flat top shows up and he's like hey the flat top shows up it's like batman the bat symbol comes up you got to be like like you see your dad and you're like i get to look like that when i'm that old like he's i don stud.
I know his habits and I know my habits. Oh, okay.
He's clean living? He's such a stud. I'm going to put these genetics to the test.
Yeah. See how far you can push it? Yeah, the limits.
I still feel like when I see him on Fox on Sunday, he could kick everybody's ass in that room. That's very true.
Yes. That's very true.
That's not just hearsay. He's the epitome of old man strength right now he is and he's got heavy hands he was like a national championship boxer in college jesus you know i'm saying i think the story i mean i don't know this is stories here dad doesn't talk about himself so i hear this about from his like uncle and it's like hey national championship i think your dad went out there no robe he was just shadow boxing and the other guy came out saw your dad and just turned back around and that was the uh that was the national championship just walked out he's like okay i'll give it to this guy yeah he wins yeah yeah when you were growing up um did you ever think that terry hatcher was mom sometimes no but a lot of people ask me that yeah you know my mom would pick him diane would pick me up at school and they'd be like where the fuck is your mom? And I'm like, hey, dude.
I'm like, this is a strange way to get in a fight over your mom the first time. Because, like, it was the Radio Shack commercials, right? Radio Shack.
Shout out to Radio Shack. Yeah.
They just – they put them in a room together, and then for some reason all of America thought, like, oh, they're married. Yeah.
Yeah. I guess they pitched – I don't know if they were trying to pitch it that way or what.
I was, young but i can understand the confusion right if i see two people on tv i'm a simpleton like you're already painting the picture for me right like you're telling me that they're together yeah i thought peavis and butthead were fucking for the longest time yeah oh my god yeah um all right brian and stewie yeah i have one last question it's a rowback question promo code take use code promo code take for 20 off your q zips hoodies polos everything at roback.com r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com speaking of roback great golf gear uh what are you shooting now because i feel like you're one of those guys that like i wouldn't be surprised if we similar to like danny woodhead our friend you're like hey i'm gonna give thing a try. And oh, shit, Kyle Long just qualified for the U.S.
Open. I love golf, but I love my wife more.
Okay. That's a good answer.
Nice. You hit bombs.
I wouldn't. Thank you.
I mean, I see the videos. I love the game and I'm always in constant pursuit of, you know, trying to go lower.
And I probably am trying to shoot 75 by Christmas. Okay what's your lowest score ever 79 okay i shot 72 at shinnecock but whatever i saw that yeah it was nice scorecard yeah it was sick legit i blew up on the last round on the 18th i wish i hadn't i would have shot 70 if i didn't have you gotta go for uh 69 i'm gonna try i think i'll get it i will say golf is one of those things where it's like you can put your phone away you can go out there you can be in nature every course is different it's almost like why i liked baseball as a kid because every park was different dimensions all that kind of thing every first hole is different and uh it's fucking dope i mean it's a great way to spend some hours with some friends you don't have to get fucked up because you're just fucked up on pure life yeah french i like that I like that.
Get fucked up on life. Get fucked up on life.
Yeah. And you love your wife.
That's nice. Yeah, she's dope.
And your dad. She's dope.
Yeah. I think it's the anti-gay.
Yeah. So gay.
Fellas, is it gay to love your wife? Yeah, you love her a little too much. I kissed him, but I do love my wife.
And your dad. And I'm a dad.
Shout out to Frankie, my six-month-old daughter, nearly six-month-old love it nice love it she's built like she's built like me and she looks like my wife and that's a problem okay well maybe softball catcher monster shot yeah what was jenny finch yeah uh the pitcher yeah beast oh my god that's you know i don't know catchers i just know pitchers dude also i've always thought like softball uh like softball players are incredible athletes like it's fun when they they have like the college world series softball and i also always think about how awesome it must be for them to then like the the next portion of their life playing co-ed leagues and just dominate dominate because like that's always like you play in a co-ed league it's like oh we'll hit oh, no, they just come and be dominant. There's nothing more girl power than just getting absolutely fucking railroaded by some, like, gals who used to play pro.
Right. Like, oh, bring it in for her.
And then they just fucking hit a bomb over their head. That would be the coolest thing ever.
Just boat race. Yeah.
I also think they have the best, like, synchronized team celebrations. They're always on the same page when it comes to that shit.
That's good. And there's a lot of behind the back, like, finger pointing and stuff.
Yeah. Signs and stuff.
I appreciate that. Oh, I got a question for you.
How many different handshakes did you have with teammates? Man, handshakes. I mean, I was pretty standard.
I was just trying not to fuck the dap up. Yeah.
I was trying not to be in the Barack Obama meme where he's like, dap, dap. He's like, handshake, handshake, handshake.
I want to be a dap guy. Yeah, were you a dap guy or were they the shake hand? I'm a dap and a hug, you know? Yeah, that's a good spot to be.
I don't know. Bill, you want to have one last question? Yeah.
You were doing a lot of woodworking in your backyard recently, right? Woodworking, yeah. I was building some raised bed gardens.
I had some 10 by 8. So really 10 by 10 weather-treated wood, 10 feet long.
I built four big raised bed gardens. So my wife and I love to eat out of there every night.
We get a little bit of basil if we're making pizza. Hell yeah.
You really love her. Yeah, all that kind of stuff.
She does all that stuff. I just have to build it, and they will come, right? Yeah, that's true.
Basil's actually. What do you think about that? It's fresh basil.
It's pretty cool, right? I know. That was pretty cool.
I saw you with that wood. Yeah, I saw you got that wood on there.
What's going on there? I just saw you both at the pizza. Yeah, I want to know what you're playing.
Thank you, guys. Well, Kyle, you're the best, man.
It's been too long. Where can the people watch you? Yeah, again, thank you.
Greenlight Podcast on Mondays with Chris Long, my brother. And then every Sunday you can find me on CBS Sports with that other pregame show, 9 to 12.
I'll be there this Sunday. And you're doing a Sunday with us.
Yeah, absolutely. You have to do a Sunday because you're here in New York and then you leave.
I might have to do the red-eye drive from New York to Virginia. No, you just take like an 8 o'clock flight out of LaGuardia.
You can watch all the games. What do you have to be home for? Is podcast.
Podcast. Yeah, but we have Zoom here.
Yeah, you could Zoom it. Why don't you...
You know, the vibes aren't right unless you're at the desk together. You guys don't want to Zoom with each other.
You know what we should do is we should have fucking Chris come up too and do the podcast here. I think that would be sick.
Watch the whole slate of Sunday games. We could do a home and home.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm down for it. That would be great.
We could do get some. We could do Sunday night takes and then we all sleep.
And then it's like, well, everything we said was stupid. Here's what we think.
And then Monday cleanup. Everything that we got wrong six hours ago.
Yeah. I can't wait to do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's perfect. All right.
Well, Kyle, it's always great to see you. Thank you, Kyle.
Bro. Kyle Long is brought to you by 3Chi.
Whether you live in a state where marijuana is legal or not, 3Chi now offers federally legal dispensary-grade Delta 9 THC products that deliver straight to your door. In case you didn't know, Delta 9 THC is the active ingredient in marijuana that gets you high, which means that 3Chi is now selling the same edibles that you get from a marijuana dispensary, but at a lower price.
And they deliver to your door. How is this possible? Science.
3G uses Delta 9 from hemp. It's the exact same as taking it from marijuana, except it makes their products federally legal.
Get 5% off all 3G's premium THC products. Just go to 3G.com.
That's the number 3, CHI.com. Use promo code STOOL5 to take 5% off your order.
That's promo code STOOL5. Take 5% off your order.
Must be 21 or older to purchase. And now here's Blake Bortles.
And now for something completely different. Okay, it is time.
Every Wednesday, one question with the quarterback. We have the guy who is our favorite quarterback of all time.
The first quarterback to appear on Part of My Take. Yeah, the first quarterback to appear on Part of My Take, and the guy who we basically were going to just have him on every single week.
It is our good, good friend, Blake Bortles. One question with the quarterback, Blake Bortles.
My question is, we had a little bit of a discussion, possibly people reaching out to you to see if you could train, come in, maybe be a backup.

How are you?

Are you in good shape?

Are you ready to be signed by a team?

Maybe even the Patriots, Hank, is trying to hog all the blakes.

I did.

I heard Hank mention that the other day, and I appreciate that, Hank.

I have not touched a football since January.

Fuck.

We'll cut that. We'll cut that.
You start over. Start over.
What are you doing? Wait, wait, wait. Blake, is there a football? Wait, this is your question.
Be careful. But I've got another question.
No, you can't. Be careful.
Big Cat, do you think that maybe there's a football in Blake's backyard that he's in right now that he could just go over and touch? So he could be like, yeah, I touched a football this morning. I don't know.
I wish I could ask him. Yeah, me too.
No, I quietly didn't tell anybody. I retired.
I didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly, maybe.
Wait, you quiet quit. Wait, now you quiet quit the NFL.
You have to ask a good follow-up you have to ask a follow-up on this this is an exclusive jesus christ now there's a lot of pressure uh blake hypothetically for uh 15 million dollars two-year contract would you consider coming out of retirement to join either the new england patriots or the den Broncos? I know you're familiar with Nathaniel Hackett's system. Absolutely.
Two for $15 million, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Okay.
So, we really fucked ourselves. Hey, Hank, what's your question? How was your Saturday? No.
It was great. Billy, do you have a question? Billy, go ahead question how mobile are you feeling no we want come on we're trying to nail down a headline Jake are you retired no no no shut the fuck up Jake you go go Jake retired Jake hi Blake Jake Marsh part of my take podcast so in terms of your a two-year, $15 million contract the only thing that would get you out of retirement or are there other options? Yeah, I'm pretty set with where I'm at in the decision.
I mean, I think if somebody were dumb enough to offer that kind of money, then it's kind of hard to pass on.

Blake, as your agent, you're making it more difficult than it needs to be to get you millions of dollars here.

We need to work on your pitch.

Yeah, okay.

I mean, we could negotiate from 15.

Okay, we'll start at 15, two years.

I like that.

Max, Max, you have a question.

I just texted you something unrelated to this, but you have a question. Would you like to – is there any way that you could officially say that on this recording that you're retired? He did.
Are you ready? I'm officially retired. There it is.
Okay. Well, we just had to reconfirm.
I mean, it was, you know, we really boxed ourselves in with one question.

He's officially retired, excluding a two-year $15 million deal.

Correct.

Right.

$15 million plus.

That's on the table then.

Yeah.

When we say that we're starting at 15, we mean we'll go up.

Yeah, we will go up.

No, I don't think so.

I think it's just 15.

So 16, no. Years are irrelevant.
One, two, three, 10. Doesn't matter.
15 is the number. Oh, that would be amazing.
Yeah, get him a 15-year deal. A 10-year, $15 million deal.
Like the Bobby Bonilla contract, except you have to actually keep working until you're 60 years old. Yeah, yeah.
Blake signs over his children as well. So it's like he gets paid $100,000 a year for the next 300 years.
I like that. That's good.
Billy, go ahead. You didn't get a question.
Go ahead. How are you actually feeling? Do you think you can get in a game? Yeah, probably.
I'm still in shape. I work out occasionally.
I mean, I think I could play. I don't know.
I played catch with, like, some kids in the neighborhood the other day for the first time, and, like, my arm was sore for a week. So, I mean, one game.
I don't know if the arm's in shape to throw more than, like, 40 balls and, and like a two-week span, but I'm sure we can make one.

But you're a dual threat.

You have the highest career rushing average, I think,

for any quarterback of all time.

Do you see those stats when they go?

Well, you can't do it.

How do I rephrase this?

Well, you know what?

Let's do this.

I love it when I see that stat go re-viral

because it happens like three times a year where it's like Blake Bortles,

better rushing quarterback than Michael Vick. Yeah.
Why do we do this? Why do we do this? Let's have you – this isn't a question. This is more of a just saying it out loud.
Maybe next week you come on the show for a full interview. Yeah, yeah.
That sounds good. Do something outside of just one question.
Yeah, we really fucked ourselves. The entire basis of this segment was basically based on having you on every week to ask you one question, and now we're just fucked.
For the AWLs, who are probably going to be pissed off that we didn't ask any real follow-ups, next week Blake will be on the show for a full interview. We'll make sure he's on a computer, not his phone in his backyard.
And, Blake, do you – no, it's not your fault. It was one question.
That was – I said five minutes. You have a question for us.
Wait, you have to not ask that in a question. Oh, yeah.
I'll bet you Blake has a question for us. Yeah.
There you go. I have a question for you guys.
You could just us what day next week. Yeah, what day next week do you guys think will work? Oh, that's a good question.
You want to do Tuesday? Tuesday at 11? Tuesday at 11. That would work.
Does Tuesday at 11 work? No. Well, I'll be driving.
Okay.

That's bad.

Okay.

What if I get?

I'll get home like Tuesday probably around like lunch.

Okay.

Anytime after that.

So why don't we say, yeah, why don't we say two 30?

Let's say two 30.

Tuesday at two 30.

Yeah.

Does that work?

Okay.

Awesome.

All right.

Tuesday at two 30.

We'll see you for a full Blake Bortles interview that will air on Wednesday.

This was one question with Blake Bortles.

Definitely took a turn.

Congratulations.

We have the exclusive.

We have the exclusive.

Maybe being retired, maybe not being retired.

Either way, congrats.

Yeah.

No, we'll find out.

I look forward to next Tuesday.

All right, and if anyone reaches out, don't tell them, you know,

you wouldn't, but, you know, don't. Yeah, no, no.
Exclusive, pardon my take. You guys have really amped up.
I think I told you the other, or whenever that was, like I really appreciated my once a year kind of public, you know, just Blake of the year. And now, you know, we're kind of getting, we're exceeding the once a year.
Yeah, yeah. It's good to get you back in the rotation.

You won't find any bigger Blake Bortles defenders

in the history of the world than us.

I think I speak for everybody in this room

when I say we would die for you.

Yeah, I'd die for you.

I appreciate that.

I'd die for you all as well.

I don't know about Billy, but.

Yeah, no, that's fair.

That would be a waste of a death.

Billy wouldn't want that. He's all about sacrifice.
He wants to serve others. Yes.
All right, Blake, we'll see you next Tuesday. Tuesday.
It is. I'll see you all then.
All right. Thanks.
Now word from our sponsor, better help more athletes are speaking out about the importance of mental health, but you don't have to be a pro to want to be at the top of your game. Everyone needs to take care of their mental well-being,

whether you're an athlete or not.

Therapy is the best way to stay in peak mental shape.

If you're thinking of giving therapy a try,

BetterHelp is a great option.

It's convenient.

It's accessible.

It's affordable.

It's entirely online.

You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey,

and you can switch therapists at any time.

When you're ready to feel at the top of your mental health game therapy can get you there visit betterhelp.com slash pmt today get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp.com slash pmt get 10 off your first month that interview is also brought to you by the challenge Ride or Dies. This Wednesday, October 12th at 8, 7 central on MTV, America's fifth major sport is back with The Challenge, Ride or Dies.
And this season is unlike any other in challenge history because players get to choose their own partners. They can bring their best friend, their sibling, their spouse, even their ex.
And with their closest ally by their side, together they can conquer the challenge on and off the field. But while this seems like the ultimate pairing, these relationships will be tested like never before.
Instead of helping you rise up, what happens if your partner lets you down? Or even worse, betrays you? In this game, if you live and die by your ride or die, choose wisely. Challenge fans will lose their minds over some of the big-name vets riding into the competition together this season we've got tory and devin jordan and anessa and seven time champ johnny bananas is back hoping to secure another victory with fellow challenge queen nanny don't miss the challenge router dies new season premieres next wednesday october 12th at 8 7 central on mtv okay let's wrap up the show with our good friend jersey Jerry, it's been a few months, man.
It's been a few months. Any big news in the Steelers quarterback situation that you want to update us on? Yeah, as of about 17 minutes ago, the Steelers, Mike Tomlin announced Kenny Pickett is quarterback one.
Whoa. You probably expected that though, right? They weren, they weren't going to go back to Mitch.
Yeah. Breaking news.
Breaking news. Breaking news.
Jerry, breaking news. Oh.
Say it again, Jerry. Mike Tomlin has confirmed that Kenny Pickett's starting quarterback.
Whoa. I can confirm that.
Yep. I will also double confirm.
And I'll match. Yeah.
And he also confirmed Mitch will still be a team captain going out for the coin toss. Oh, so that's weird.
Now, we're Kenny guys, but that makes you a little nervous. For what? No, it's kind of weird.
It's like if you start dating a girl and her ex-boyfriend is still making her breakfast every day. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know why he's still going out for the coin toss. Well, he must be a team leader.
Well, yeah, but I mean, I feel like it's a little disrespectful to Mitch, no? I don't know. Yeah, a little bit.
I'd say so. I'd say it's kind of disrespectful on both accounts.
Yeah. Alright, let me ask you a question, Jerry.
So, Kenny's a starting quarterback. Have you ever showered in Kenny's house? That's a good question.
Yes, yes I have. Oh, okay.
Wow. So, that's a pretty tight friendship wouldn't you say yeah i'd say pretty tight um nice bathroom oh really nice yeah what uh what shower were we working with traditional waterhead or like was it one of those ones on the ceiling how what was it like so it was it was traditional yeah it was traditional uh what size loofah does he standard size or no you know there was a loofah in there but i chose not to go that route that's nice of you i chose uh just to just to use the soap bar so he's not a washcloth guy use the soap bar yeah that's kind of weird where you just put the soap like the bar of soap like on your armpits and yeah your balls and you have an option of a not soap bar yeah you can use your hands was there liquid soap yeah like could yeah was there no body wash or anything? No, there was.
Oh, you went soap bar. You chose the soap bar.
Yeah. That's the face bar.
That's so weird. Had it been used? Wait, wait, wait, Jerry.
That's so weird. You guys are trying to do something to me right now.
No, no, no, no, no, no. You put the face bar in your asshole.
I don't want to talk about that. I'm sure they threw stuff away, no? After I shouted? After you shouted, you think you went in there and he's like, oh, this is Jerry's soap.
We're throwing it away? We got to give the shower a shower? Probably. Okay, so that's good to know that you're tight with him now.
Again, we're Kenny guys. Yeah, of course.
Always been Kenny guys. Love Kenny.
Been on this show, recurring guests. Hypothetically, what if he has a bad game? What are we doing with that? Because you showered at the guy's house.
Yeah, I mean, listen, he's a rookie, man. Of course, there's going to be some bumps and bruises along the way.
There's going to be times where you look at the game and like, wow, Kenny messed up this game. And then there's going to be times like, wow, Kenny really won this game for us.
Right. So it's going to be up and down all season.
I think you're actually in a very cool situation for an NFL fan, which is you have a new toy.

Yeah.

And you are like more so personally invest in this new toy than most fans are. But just like getting to spend a season rooting for your new toy to do cool stuff, that's

a fun place to be.

Like no real expectation.

You just want to see a promise of like a bright future.

Yeah.

You know, I had that.

I had that.

What do you call that moment when when it when it actually happens? Epiphany? Possibly. I was on the field pregame for the Steelers game last week against the Jets.
You know, Kenny comes out, warming up, you know. You know, I get the head nod from Mitch, like they know who I am.
Kenny head nod from... There's a guy who's been DMing my wife.
No, no, no, no. Passing to play Madden.
Come on, Ken. You're not going to do that.
And then, you know, Pat recognized me, daps me up and stuff like that. So it was like a moment where I'm like, wow, man.
You know, I'm such a diehard Steelers fan. And, like, these guys know Jersey Jerry.
Right. So it felt great.
Did you ever release the DMs, the Madden playing DMs? Those have never been released, no. Can we do one reading of one of them? You sure? Yeah, I think it was funny.
We'll just do one. That was funny.
Do you have it? Yeah, I have it. It's my home screen.
How many, before you started working here, what percentage of Steelers players would you say had received a DM from you at some point? Like on the roster? Oh, man. I'd say 50%.
50%? Did they even write back? Huh? Any of them write back? You know what? A Steelers player has never, ever contacted me, no, until this past year or two. So you just kept writing them back, though.
You were like, eventually somebody's going to. Exactly.
I mean, listen, if you want something bad enough, you've got to do some things you don't want to do. Yeah, so this was my personal favorite.
You sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is good.
There's nothing bad about it. Jerry hit up Juju Smith-Schuster's mom and said, Hi, I'm a huge fan.
Hi, Sammy. I'm a huge fan.
She has 21,000 followers, so she's a public figure. She's a blue checkmark.
Hi, Sammy. I'm a huge fan of your son and a big fan of this Pittsburgh Steelers.
Your son is so humble and it is so refreshing to hear him talk and watching him play. If you can do me a favor and see maybe if he can play me in a game of Madden of PlayStation, it will make a 25-year-old kid from New Jersey dream come true.
I've been following him watching all his games since he played at USC.

That was nice.

That's a diehard fan.

I think we're done now.

I'm done?

I think it's old.

Listen, I like those messages.

It shows that you are the grittiest fan I know.

That's a fact.

I think so, too.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, one way or another, they're going to find out who I am.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? What about the haters out there? Because I'm sure there are. Oh yeah, of course.
A lot of haters that might be like, yo, Jersey Jerry's not blue collar anymore. Yeah.
He's working in the big city. He's white collar.
Now he's, he's rubbing elbows with a starting quarterback, going out to nice dinners, using their shower and their soaps. Yeah.
What would you say to those people that say that's not blue collar? Hey, listen, I could still go back to work if I wanted to and still work just as hard.

I still know what I'm doing.

I just did my mom's kitchen.

I mean, that's blue collar.

That is.

You know what I mean?

What'd you put in?

So we did the countertops, and then we did, obviously, new appliances.

That was really nice.

And then the floor.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Jerry takes care of his mom.

I like that.

Of course.

You can tell a lot about a guy from how they treat their mom.

Thank you. obviously new appliances.
That was really nice. And then the floor.
Beautiful. Jersey Jerry takes care of his mom.

I like that. Of course.

You can tell a lot about a guy from how they treat their mom.

What?

The cookbook.

Yeah, that's true.

So Jersey Jerry's grandmother who's passed away.

Nanny.

Nanny.

What?

She was my nanny.

She was your nanny?

That's like the name for her.

That's the name.

Yeah.

Not like my nanny.

Yeah.

Mine was Mimi.

Yeah.

But she was my grandmother.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Are you making the meals for your mom? No, I'm not making the meals.
So what she does is she tries to figure out what my nanny used to put in this, put in this, and she's always so close, but it's never the same. And it's in the cookbook.
Why not? Because I want her to do it herself. So she'll learn'll learn better if she can figure it out.
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Will you give her any hints? Like, she likes to use the basil and the sweet sausage. Wouldn't you be benefiting? I mean, yeah, I would be benefiting, but it's like a game I'm playing with.
Yeah, it's great. I love that story.
You lose the game. Yeah, you do.
You could say that, yeah. I don't mind it.
It's great. No, it's a great jersey.
I'll tell you what, she's getting closer and closer as the years go by. I love it.
It actually makes sense if you could turn it into an annual thing. Maybe on Christmas you release one new recipe.
That's a good idea. From the Jerry vault.
It's a good idea. Yeah, maybe publicly release it for the people.
You're one in a billion, Jerry. That's why I love you.
Those little stories. Your working hard, hard to try to recreate her own mother's cooking and she

just can't get it.

And you're like, I got the keys.

Well, what she does every time is she calls me pal.

So she'd be like, pal, is it close?

Is it the same?

And I'll just be like, close, but not it.

It's like, fuck you.

I love it.

I love it.

All right.

So yeah, go ahead.

I was just curious.

I'm sure a lot of people want to know how things are going with the old digestive system. No accidents recently? No.
No, nothing. No close calls either.
That one just, it was, I don't know what went wrong. Yeah.
A lot went wrong. Yeah, a lot.
It was like everything that possibly could have gone wrong went wrong. It was a nuclear meltdown.
Yeah.

It was Chernobyl.

It was an embarrassing moment.

Jerry shit himself on the train.

Yeah.

It was a catastrophe.

Everybody has seen that. I'll retweet it just so everyone sees it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've retweeted it like a thousand times.

It's a great video.

It's an all-time video.

It is.

It is.

Okay.

Let's do some questions.

Hey, Jerome.

It's actually Gerard.

I've made that mistake a few times. I think I've righted my ways, though.
I used to do it a lot. Have you ever gotten injured at a job? If so, how did you deal with that? I tore my peck on my first shift of my new contract.
It really sucks because I was only one minute away from being off the clock. My boss is telling me I have to stay off work for at least six weeks, and my crew is badly struggling without me.
We don't look like the same crew without me at all. I feel like I'm soft because my brother also recently suffered a chest injury with a regular heartbeat and went back to work just four days later.
Oh, no. Yeah, definitely.
I know the camera can't really see, but what do you call this finger?

The ring finger?

Ring finger, yeah.

Yeah, so it's permanently dislocated, and there's just nothing left to it.

So I was working, and I fucking hammered, hammered, and then boom, slipped and hit it, crushed it.

Never got it fixed.

It pops out sometimes, but I was told, like, hey, don't report this because you can get in trouble for not having gloves on. And the whole crew can get in trouble.
So I suck it up, and I just went back to work. Wow.
Yeah. So whoever this guy is, I would say just suck it up, man.
Get back to work. The team needs you.
The crew needs you. Get back to work.
Probably got, like, some new guy that joined your team, and you had to set an example for him. Exactly.
I feel like this is how we do it on my team. But what if the guy in question comes back and then gets re-injured now it's like two years that he's out that's another good question i i would say it doesn't matter at that point i would say it doesn't matter what do you mean like you have no choice but to come back yeah would you say like you should do more steroids to try to get back faster well i don't think this guy said that he was doing steroids but if he were his pack, that's...
I guess maybe I'm just reading between lines. Should he do more steroids or less steroids? I would say less steroids.
Okay, so dial the current steroid use back a little bit. Last question about this guy and we don't know who this guy is, but he gets injured and then he realizes, like, oh, I'm not even healthy.
I'm not even the best player on my team or

in the league in this construction

league there's a guy in Dallas

who's been playing crazy

did TJ we DM you guys

no

no this is someone just

hypothetically but what would you say to that

like if say a guy who's

been playing some great linebacker ball

down in Dallas like some are saying he's the best player in the league. You mean construction.
Construction. He's the best defensive construction player in the league for the Cowboys.
Michael Parsons. I would say no.
Okay. I would say the numbers tell a different story.
Ah, interesting. You know? I think there was another guy, forget what team is he on, starts with an R, just got his 100th sack or something like that the other week.
Yeah. There's a guy named TJ Watt.
He's on pace to shatter that. Oh.
I mean shatter it, not even close. They play the exact same position, right? They don't, but.
Okay, next question. Me and a friend got into a discussion about what a blue-collar job actually is.
I am a medical equipment technician, which I consider to be blue-collar. He is a teacher, which he swears is as well.
Thoughts? Yeah, I don't think the teacher is. I would say no to that.
Not blue-collar? Not really. What about medical equipment technician? That would say, yeah.
It's got the word technician in it. It's got equipment in it? I don't know if a teacher is, and it's no disrespect to teachers out there.
Like half the members of my family are teachers. I have great respect for the teaching profession.
But I don't think they'd say it's blue collar. I'd say that there's like a separate definition for being a teacher.
Yeah, I think that's one. They bring brown bags to work.
Blue collar brings a lunch pail. Nah, I don't.
I think they eat in a cafeteria. Yeah, no, you could say that teachers are lunch pail.
They might not be blue collar. But they don't bring lunch pails.
They bring, you know, lunch boxes. That's a lunch pail.
No. You think it's different? Yeah, the pails are hard.
I think if you have a job where you could get thrown up on by anybody else, that's its own – I would put teachers almost in the same category as other service workers. What about a lady who's working at a psych ward in a hospital? That blue collar, you think? That seems – I don't know if that's blue collar or not.
It's mental blue collar. That's what we need.
We need mental blue collar because teachers would be the mental blue collar. Yeah.
Like that would be their category. Physically, maybe not, but mentally, that's blue collar work.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I think teachers do blue collar. Shout out to all the teachers.
Best lunchtime, day to take off, and time to take a dump. Ooh.
Three-parter. Great question.
Say that again? Lunchtime. Lunchtime.
We'll go one at a time. Best lunchtime.
Okay. I would say best lunchtime, 11.
What were your hours? I mean, it started at like 6.30 and wouldn't get home until like 10. Where are they now? Wait, 6.30 to 10 p.m.? Yeah.
No, that was every day? Pretty much with all the overtime, yeah. Oh, okay.
Overtime. 11? That seems early.
I would like to extend it. I like to take lunch in the afternoon.
I do like to take lunch really, really early and then do a double lunch in the afternoon. Can you do that? Yeah.
Yeah, you could, I guess. There's no problem with that.
That's a move. The problem with taking that early lunch is it makes the afternoon, every time you look at the clock, it goes by so slow.
Yeah. If you go to lunch at 11 a.m., you're back at noon, it feels like it's 5 p.m.
you look at the clock it's 2 10 yeah day to take off best date it's friday and best time to take a dump best time to take a dump right after breakfast while the crew's setting everything up oh that's smart come out everything's set up yeah wow good good answers what's the worst to take a dump? Oh, on an emergency. Right after Jerry on the train.
Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. That's probably one of the worst times you could.
Yeah. Or on an airplane.
Yeah. Airplane dumps are pretty bad too.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right, last one. Jerry, when is it okay to snap back at your foreman? I worked as a roofer a couple summers ago and never talked back to my boss in my life until my short, angry, redheaded foreman was on my ass for everything.
Some of it was maybe warranted, but one day he lit me up for doing something wrong that he showed me how to do. After exchanging some fuck yous, I feel like I was in the wrong since I was newer and should have just taken my lumps.
Was I in the wrong? Thanks. Yeah, I'd say so.
Never really supposed to talk back to those guys. Chain of command.
Yeah, they're in charge for a reason. You know, I mean, I remember specifically, you know, the foreman saying, hey, you don't like it on my crew, go find a different crew.
Nice. You know what I mean? You're listening to what I say and listen, that guy happened to be a great guy that was nasty in the beginning.
I mean, you look at your paycheck, there's a couple extra hours in there. You know what I mean? You're listening to what I say, and listen, that guy happened to be a great guy that was

nasty in the beginning.

I mean, you look at your paycheck, there's a couple extra hours in there.

You know what I mean?

They take care of you.

Yeah.

You keep your mouth shut, they take care of you.

You got a problem, come see me.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Exactly.

That's it.

Right there.

But yeah, I know Eric was trying to jam me up, but my hours are pretty long right now.

Are they?

Yeah.

What does that mean?

That would mean, I'd say about 10, 10, 1030.

I wake up about eight now. 745, 8.
I get here 1030. I'm out by like 5, 530 on a football night, a little bit later maybe.
Is that true? Is that true that you're out 5, 530? I would say some. I mean, today I'll be out at 3.
Yeah. But I would say I got to think a couple things business-wise to take care of.
But I'd say for the most part, yeah, around 5-ish. And you'll be back on streams on Sunday? Yes.
Because, you know, people have been asking, like, hey, Jerry just isn't here. I don't think they've been asking.
Yeah. If you could find a tweet on that, I think I'd give you some money.
Okay. I mean, no, because somebody's going to do it now.
What if I find a tweet right now? You would have to find a tweet that's... And he'll give you some money.
Yeah, it's back. Most mostly.
Okay. Jerry, I like the new haircut.
People are asking. What was the motivation behind that? Yeah, this is a...
I don't know if the camera sees. This is a mullet.
Yeah. Camera works, Jerry.
You keep saying that. Huh? The camera's not going to get this.
It's got it. It'll get it? It's a good look, though.
What was the inspiration for it?

I'll tell you what.

A couple years.

Not even a couple years ago.

About a year ago.

A year and a half ago. I had long hair.

I had hair down to the back over here.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You got any pictures?

Yeah.

I mean, I got a couple.

I want to see some long, some shaggy Jerry.

Yeah.

I got a couple.

I don't know.

It'll take me maybe a couple minutes to look it up.

Are you looking at something? Let me see that. I was going to say it right there.
Read it out loud. Let me see.
I got to read it. This is Where's Jerry Been on the Streams.
Kenny. What the hell? It's today, Dan.
I have a burner account to get into Jerry's spaces. So I just made it Kenny Pickett is the avatar.
So he'll let me talk. Hey, what do you think? You have Burner? Well, no, this was just for copyrighted music.
Oh, okay. But like, what is your...
I always wanted to know. No, I do not have...
I don't either. I've got a Burner account.
Why, though? I started because it's so much fun. Yeah, but are you harassing people? Sometimes.
You should never do it. Yeah.
Never make a Burner, right? Never make a Burner. No.
But it's fun. It's very fun make a burner no but it's fun it's very fun i know but it's i don't know i don't i was thinking about debating doing it but then i are you don't you yeah you don't need a burner i would i would suggest that you don't make a burner account um my burner i wasn't really i wasn't harassing people i was just using it to get some takes off that maybe i felt like i used to be able to get off that now i can't get off anymore.
Gotcha. It was just kind of like a throwback just for me to enjoy.
But you're, you're like, you have burner energy as a person, so you should just stay, you know what I mean? Yeah. I got myself in trouble a few times already here.
Yeah, but that's okay. How are the dogs doing? Good, good.
I actually just ordered this new collar for Paul. Pauly Peppers? Yeah, it's a shock one.
Oh, yeah, because Pauly Peppers is a bad dog. Yeah, he's not the best dog.
Yeah, Jerry tweeted that out. He's like, look, one year ago today, Pauly Peppers.
And then Rup's applied to his own treatment. Like, turns out Pauly Peppers is a real dick.
Do you have any new litters coming out? No, no, I'm done, man. That's harder than raising a kid, man.
can you explain the methods like how you would how you'd raise these puppies how'd you how did yeah so pretty much you wait till the bitch is in heat and her period will turn from a dark red to a really light red almost pink yeah and then from there you have the male go sniff her out and then you fucking you know you do your you do your thing with the male. Wait, you do? I do, yeah.
You jack him off? Yeah, once he's up there, he's ready to go. He's smelling, he's sniffing, he's horny.
Yeah. So he's like fake humping.
He's not having sex with her. And then you're, you know, doing your thing, and then pretty much- You jerk off the dog? Yeah, the male.
Why don't you actually, like, put- Why does it- You just let them fuck? So with the French Bulldogs, it's really weird. It's really hard for them to naturally do it, for them to actually lock in place.
They can do it, but, like, their legs are so short, it's so hard for them to actually lock. There's, like, a locking period that has to happen for it to work.
So, it's just easier just busting a cup, take out, like, a long, like, flexible syringe thing, and then stick it all. You have to stick it in the right way because, yeah.
It's crazy. There's two separate in the...
Yeah, the butt and the vagina. Can I say it? Okay.
In the vajayjay, you have to hit the right spot because if you go up, you're just putting it it in the bladder yeah okay down is the uterus and kendrick perkins has like a million dollar french bulldog breeding he does the same thing yes yeah do you think kendrick perkins actually jacks off his probably i would say he would probably have somebody do it for him well i would pay more money for a bulldog yeah i would like his dad got jacked off by jay j. That's a good point.
Yeah. Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea.
Yeah, we get certified like this bulldog was made by Jersey Jerry masturbating a bulldog. That's what you should call your right hand, the JJ.
Yeah. All right.
Numbers? Guess? 91. Blake Griffin.
There's no chance. No chance.
So, Jerry, if you want to get the number right, just guess any number but 91. How do you guys feel about Blake being 91? Well, there's no numbers available in Boston.
Is that the year he was born? That's what I figured. Maybe.
He's two years older than me? No. I feel like he's older.
What number are you picking, Jerry? 8. 21.
Oh, is that for Kenny Pickett? Yeah. No, he was born in 89, so yeah, I don't know.
I just assumed that was the number. I think they're just like...
26. There's no numbers available for the Celtics.
They're all retired. 69 for Billy.
What was yours, PFT? 21. I'll go with 5 for our friend Blake Bortles.

What was your number, Jerry?

Eight.

For Kenny?

Shower to his house.

Oh, Hank.

63.

Oh, way off.

Did you guess that the other day?

Nah.

I feel like you did.

Cubic lice are endangered because of habitat destruction.

Love you guys.

Is that real?

Yeah. Yeah.
Outro Music Okay. Say.

It's no better to be safe.

Take me on me

Take me on me

Take me on

Take me on me

I'll leave you

You take me on

Take me on me

Dream on me

Dream on me

Dream on me

I'll need you

Dream on me I'm here to go through the dream. I'm here to go through the dream.
Things that we say isn't a lie for just to play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember.
You're shying away? I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take me on me Take me on me I'm a angel Take me on me Take me on me Take me on me Take on me Take on me

Take on me

Take on me