Comedian Billy Eichner, Frankie Lasagna, NFL Week 4 Picks & Preview + Fyre Fest of The Week

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Speaker 1 On today's pardon my take, we have Billy Eichner, incredible comedian. He's got a new movie out.
We talk to him about that. Billy on the street.
We do our picks and preview.

Speaker 1 We have Frankie Lasagna in place of Fantasy Fuck Boys, the guy who almost caught Aaron Judge's 61st home run on Wednesday night. Fire Fest of the Week and a recap of Thursday night football.

Speaker 2 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, September 30th, and

Speaker 1 like the Tua injury was very bad. That's how we got to start because that was very, very bad.
It was bad.

Speaker 1 And we, so it's tough because we don't know exactly what happened after the game against the Bills last week, but I can tell you, like, we watched that injury happen in real time.

Speaker 1 We're like, okay, he very obviously has a head injury. I think most people saw that.
Yeah. He got up off the ground, shaking his head, stumbled because

Speaker 1 not touching his back. And then he goes, he gets evaluated.
He tells them it's his back. I don't know if they gave him the concussion test.

Speaker 1 I don't know what, because you might not even get in the protocol if they just diagnosed it as a back injury, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But the bottom line is like, I think we talked about this on Sunday night, so it's not like news to us. He probably shouldn't have been playing tonight.
Right.

Speaker 1 And it was, it was one of those things that people could say hindsight is 2020, but it wasn't really 2020 because a lot of people were like, this feels weird.

Speaker 1 And then he suffers a brutal, brutal concussion, stretcher off. It was like tough to watch.
And I know that some people will be like, oh, you're a pussy. Like, it's a, you know, it's football.

Speaker 1 But, like, if you're watching that and you see the way his body naturally reacted to getting concussed and his hands, it was really, really like that was one of those hits, especially considering the fact that Sunday happened, where you're thinking not like, oh, he's out for a couple weeks, or, oh, he's out for this.

Speaker 1 Like, you're like, I hope he's okay as a per like, it has nothing to do with football. You know what I mean? Like, I hope he's just okay.

Speaker 1 There were some people really getting, uh, really getting their rocks off to the injury, though, on like

Speaker 1 chasing the clout with the injury.

Speaker 1 Stu Finer?

Speaker 1 Some people

Speaker 1 put out. I love Stu's tweet and get a live reaction.

Speaker 1 There were some people just being like, I think Chris Nawinsky, who's the doctor that works at the Boston University Brain Clinic, who is actually more in tune with this stuff, but he tweeted out, like, if Tua dies from secondhand or like second impact syndrome, sue everybody.

Speaker 1 It's like it's a little bit, it's too early to be

Speaker 1 the death word. The only thing you should be saying after an injury like that is, like, that's really scary.
I hope Tua is okay. And we did have As a Bills fan trending,

Speaker 1 which was nice.

Speaker 1 It was a lot of Bills fans working in it.

Speaker 1 Have you found it, Hank? Is it just this picture? Yeah. Yeah, that was instantly right after.

Speaker 1 It was what Tua looked like after that sack. What is this from? It was from something about Mary.
Something about Mary.

Speaker 1 Or maybe it wasn't something about Mary. What movie? Scary movie two.
Scary movie two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, same actor, though. Something about Mary.
But yeah,

Speaker 1 it was scary. Like, especially going into it, we knew that at least we had talked about it, that Tuers should not have been in that game.
Right.

Speaker 1 And then seeing him hit his head, it's like, okay, this is like worst case scenario because you can actually have severe long-lasting effects from getting a second concussion that quickly. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And so whatever background research the NFLPA is doing, here's the thing, though. Like,

Speaker 1 if you're a player,

Speaker 1 Your natural inclination is to say, I'm fine. I can go back in.
Right. Players are always going to say that.
So you can't blame players for lying about concussions to get back in the game.

Speaker 1 You can educate them and and say, like, here's what to look for, and here's why it's serious. So, don't lie.
Right.

Speaker 1 But the reality is, players, especially in the NFL, when your availability translates to millions of dollars in free agent contracts and reing up with that team, it means the world, if you're able to play, they're going to lie about whether or not they feel symptoms of a concussion.

Speaker 1 So, you got to take it out of their hands and have the team doctors or the independent neurologists actually look at it.

Speaker 1 And it looks like, and again, we don't know all the facts and how things broke down, but it looks like there was a disconnect when Tu Tua was diagnosed with a back injury where they didn't get the independent neurologist involved.

Speaker 1 And we'll see what they say about it after the fact. But if he had gotten severely hurt, if it was like a long-term impact thing, which it still might be, we don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is going back with the team, which is good. And he was, you know, responsive and everything in the hospital.
I think he was discharged. So that is good.

Speaker 1 It's good, but it can still have long-term effects. We're not doctors.
Yes. Yes, Tua should sue everybody.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Tony Gonzalez, I think, said it afterwards. He's like, let's be honest, the reason why he went back in the game on Sunday is because they were playing the Bills and they're trying to win a division.

Speaker 1 And that is football. I also saw some people getting mad at the Amazon booth for not

Speaker 1 addressing it head-on in their seven minutes and halftime. This is my big thing.

Speaker 1 And obviously, Stu's tweet was stupid, but I'm not going to be mad at Stu for it because I always, always, always hate when something bad happens and then everyone just searches for who to be mad at.

Speaker 1 That was me initially tonight. You were? They were mad at me.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Because as Tua was on the ground, I was in the process of tweeting out a block that Alec Ingold just laid on somebody on the previous play. Right.
And it was a good block.

Speaker 1 And I was like, check out this good block by Alec Ingold. I stand by the fact it was a good block.
Well, yeah, like, and then everybody just was like, dude, what the fuck is this about?

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm sorry, I'm not in a time machine. It's stupid.
Like, I made a second half bet, and people are like, how could you do this? Well, I mean, dude, you're right.

Speaker 1 We need somebody to focus our anger at. Everyone always does it.
They always try to to find the worst tweets. They always try to find the person who didn't say the exact correct thing.

Speaker 1 When you have Richard Sherman and Ryan Fitzpatrick, like I'm not caping for them, but it's their second broadcast, third broadcast ever, and they're thrown into this situation at halftime.

Speaker 1 And I think they talked about it more at length after the game, but they have seven minutes to break it down. It's like, let's just, let's everyone relax.
It was bad. Tua, we hope he's okay.

Speaker 1 But you don't have to go searching the internet to be mad at someone. Yeah, it's all going to fix it.

Speaker 1 It's also everybody's sitting at home home watching Thursday night football on their televisions, and we all have, to some extent, probably like we see a devastating injury, and it's like, well, that probably wouldn't happen if all of America wasn't watching this game right now.

Speaker 1 There wasn't a reason, if there wasn't an audience out there for Thursday night football. But it's helpful to have somebody that we can be like, that guy is actually the bad guy.
Worst guy.

Speaker 1 He's worse than me. Delete that tweet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's jump on that room. But yeah, I mean, it was bad.
I hope Tua is okay.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I like Tua a lot, and I really hope he's, I hope it's something that's, like I said, it's not even about football. It's like, I hope he's okay in general.

Speaker 1 Like, it's not, hey, I hope Tua plays next week. It's, I fucking hope Tua's brain is okay.
Yeah, there is. Because that was even takeout Sunday, that was just such a violent hit.

Speaker 1 And anytime we were talking about it, like Ryan Shazier on the same field when that happened, how horrific it was. And you have those reminders.
Like, it does,

Speaker 1 you have those reminders every now and then in the NFL where it's like oh fuck like this is a very violent game and really bad things can happen that's always weird too when they bring Ryan Shazir out and they they had him like in the first year after his devastating injury they would have him like shuffling because he was making progress and learning how to walk again and like you know going through physical therapy and they'd have him you know like shuffling across the field obviously in discomfort still and people would like stay out like round of applause.

Speaker 1 Obviously, we're glad that he's okay. It's a draft, yeah.
But they were making like a big spectacle of it. It's like, this is kind of sad.
Showing him in the box.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, yeah, this is kind of a reminder that, like, yeah, football is a very violent sport. But guess what? We're all, we're all kind of hypocrites in this.
Oh, of course, of course.

Speaker 1 And we still love football. Right.
And players are still going to love playing football. I'm going to watch, you know, love watching football.
I'm going to continue to watch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the only thing that, the really only thing you could say, and I don't want to be, this podcast is not supposed to be sanctimonious at all.

Speaker 1 It's just the concussion protocol is there to hopefully help things like this not happening. And you just hope that it's being followed.
That's like really all you can say.

Speaker 1 And if it's not being followed, someone's ass should pay for that because like we, you know, we had the big reckoning 10 years ago when concussions became a big deal.

Speaker 1 And so you hope that like the actual medical professionals are doing their job and making sure that everyone's as safe as they can be, knowing that football can never be, it's never 100%.

Speaker 1 It's not safe, but make it safe as possible. I blame Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 1 That's a convenient person to blame, right?

Speaker 1 He's putting Amazon football on Thursday night. Without Jeff Bezos, this doesn't happen.
Direct all your anger at Jeff Bezos. What were you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 1 Why hasn't Jeff Bezos tried to invent a machine that can definitively tell you if someone is concussed?

Speaker 1 Or a helmet that can definitively make it so you can't be concussed. He's invested in football.
Now he really's got to put his money where his mouth is. Yeah, anti-concussion helmets.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like save football, Jeff Bezos. Save football, save the world.
You'll be the most popular man in the world.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's talk about the game.

Speaker 1 Bengals, Zach Taylor was on my shit list for a minute there. He's a loser.
Kicking a field goal from the one-inch line

Speaker 1 in the

Speaker 1 start of the fourth quarter. It was a one-yard line because people

Speaker 1 don't tell the difference.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then he kind of redeemed himself by doing the correct thing in taking that last deep shot that sealed the game because that was definitely a spot where he could have been very conservative, run the ball three times, punted, played defense.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the the Bengals, I don't want to say they're like back because it does still feel like they have drives where it's just very clunky and like disorganized.

Speaker 1 That's how they've always been, though. The Bengals are.

Speaker 1 So, they have a lot of drives that stall out, but I feel like they also lead the league in just taking shots. Yeah, big plays.
Just deep ball. They love the deep ball.

Speaker 1 And so, they can have some drives where, you know, or some games where Joe Mixon rushes 20 times for 65 yards or whatever it is that feels like a normal Joe Mixon stat line.

Speaker 1 But then you've got like four shots over the top from Joe Burrow to Chase or to T. Higgins, who we talked about this a little bit during the game.
T. Higgins should be 5'8, 170 pounds.

Speaker 1 He's a speedster. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The name T. Higgins screams to me, speedster in the slot.
You forget that he's like a monster and still fast, though.

Speaker 1 And I also didn't like that Jamar Chase is wearing black cleats with the all-white unis. I thought that looked slow.
Tyler Boyd looked a lot faster just by having the white cleats on.

Speaker 1 Like that's that's one of those ones that when you do the the custom uniform in Madden, you always go white socks, white cleats, like everything the same. So you just look lightning fast.

Speaker 1 I did like the white helmets a lot. Yeah.
There was a great uniform matchup for Thursday night.

Speaker 1 I feel like if this was on a Sunday, it's trash. If it's a Sunday, it's candy ass.
Yep. This is a perfect uniform matchup for Thursday night.
That's when we get all the weird uniforms out there.

Speaker 1 You'll remember the mustard yellow. Jacksonville Jaguars uniforms.
That's also when we had like the Bills Jets colorblind bowl. Yep.
Where no one could tell the difference.

Speaker 1 That to me is like that's meant for Thursday nights. You keep that on a Thursday night in September or October and then you roll out the real jerseys later on.

Speaker 1 Now if the Dolphins wear these uniforms once the weather gets below I'd say 50 degrees,

Speaker 1 then their candy ass looks really fast. But you can wear this right now.
Yeah, and if the Bengals wear those white uniforms in snow, holy shit. That would be illegal, bro.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it would have to be, but if it isn't, they should do it. They should absolutely do it.
Because that would be very difficult to defend. They're They're basically wearing cam flush.
I would watch.

Speaker 1 I think I would hate watching it, but I would bet the shit out of the game.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. So, yeah, the Bengals, I mean, it feels like I don't even know who they have up next.

Speaker 1 The only other note I had about the uniforms is that Matt Ravens Sunday night. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that will actually be their big test of like, are they back?

Speaker 1 Because if they can win that game in Baltimore, be three and two, you're like, okay, look, the Bengals, they're now, because I feel like, wouldn't you say that through four weeks, the Bengals have had,

Speaker 1 they're at that step below tier in the AFC, where it's like, I still think that it's very early in the season. They could obviously put it all back together because they have all the talent.

Speaker 1 It's just like they haven't been playing football where you're like, oh, they're out humming right from the start. I think they're kind of in the same position they were last year,

Speaker 1 which is like they're an above-average team.

Speaker 1 They've got a great quarterback. They've got maybe the best receivers in the NFL.
No, definitely. Definitely.
Number one, the best receivers in the NFL. Don't ask us who numbers two and three are.

Speaker 1 And if they just stay healthy. Yeah.
Like I think they were like the healthiest team last year. Yeah.
So if they can just maintain

Speaker 1 their roster right now, not have any devastating injuries, hopefully get the offensive line to continue to gel, then yeah, they could get hot at the end. Yeah, they get hot.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the other only note that I had about these uniforms is I don't believe that the Bengals can run the football. in these uniforms.

Speaker 1 And likewise, I don't think that the Dolphins can run the football in these uniforms. This is like a take-a-shot over the top game.
Unless there's snow. Unless there's snow.

Speaker 1 They could absolutely run the ball. In which case, because they get lost.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it was a good game, obviously, other than the Tua.

Speaker 1 Unders in primetime are now just, I think it's every primetime game. It's a wagon.
Except for the fucking Monday night. Try to get on it.
What? Oh, yeah, Monday night. Wait, Monday didn't go over.

Speaker 1 It was 39.5.

Speaker 1 No, it was 38.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 It was started as 39.5. It went down to 38.5.
Okay, yeah. So that was, except for Monday night.

Speaker 1 And that was the most undergame of all time. Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 Judge 61. We want to talk about it real quick.
We have Frankie Lasagna on. So it feels like now it's in tragedy era.
Yeah, yeah. And he's going to get walked a shitload.
Yeah. So it was.

Speaker 1 Who would walk him, though? Why walk him? Why? Because a pitcher doesn't want to be the guy that gives it up to him. That's lame.

Speaker 1 Who wants to go down in history? As a Yankees hater, I'll say that. Who wants to go down in history as the guy that gave up the, what, sixth

Speaker 1 most home run of all time now i'm starting to now go back like i i agree that i've always agreed it's kind of stupid um it's been very selfish for a bet reason but i'm now like the amount of people who have to point out every time he hits a home run being like oh now he's sixth but it's like dude he's having an insane oh yeah yeah like let's just say and he also bet on himself this year so it's not just the home runs that he's hitting he's going to get the triple crown he might get the quadruple crown i don't know i don't know what the fourth is i think so is his average there I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I think he's like tied for first. They're very close.
Yeah, but it's

Speaker 1 good luck now. Yeah, give us the whole triple crown.
Listen, my fantasy baseball team is doing pretty well. I've been staying up to date on my stats.
Miggy got it a few years ago. Remember that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I agree. He's having a fantastic season, regardless.
But you know what I mean? We've now gone all the way backwards where it's like, who cares? Six.

Speaker 1 Let's just pretend that... We're not covering it with the whole, like, he's just having an insane season.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's having a great year. No.
Yep. Sorry.
So, Luis Arias of the Twins is at 315. Judge is at 313.
So, it's a coin flip. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I mean, how many with eight games? Yeah, it's definitely more than enough. It's possible.
It's cool. It's either way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess if one of them, if you have one game where you go like four for five, 315, 3:30.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and if he goes

Speaker 1 over five twice, that drops him.

Speaker 1 RBI,

Speaker 1 yes, 130, and Jose Ramirez has 119. So he's

Speaker 1 got that. Alonso's 131, but he's AL only.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. So anything else? Yeah, yeah, with the Judge thing.
I just want to give a shout out because we haven't really talked about the impact. Stanton hits behind him, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, kind of.

Speaker 1 They've been batting Judge first and Stanton fifth. Okay.

Speaker 1 But Stanton sometimes hits behind him. No one's given Stanton any credit for this, though.
Because I feel like, you know, going back to Roger Maris, he had Mickey Mantle hitting behind him.

Speaker 1 That's why he got all those pitches to hit. They put together a a good lineup around Judge 2.
Yeah. Yeah.
And did they put him? How long has he been batting first?

Speaker 1 Has it been because he wants to get more bats? I think that's part of it. He definitely hasn't been the whole season, but recently.

Speaker 1 But recently like the last three weeks, I feel like he's always batting first. I think it's which I kind of like.
And now that the division's clenched.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, let's get this guy his home runs. Let's make sure he gets the middle.
He's hitting it tonight, by the way. Oh, because you're going to be there.
Yeah, he's hitting it. Okay.
62.

Speaker 1 Are you in the outfield? Are you calling the shot? No.

Speaker 1 How are you not in the outfield? I want to get hurt. Oh, my God.
Oh, God. God.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think that was. There was some truth in one jokes.

Speaker 1 No. There was some truth in that joke.
We've got a lot of truths and jokes, jokes today.

Speaker 1 We actually should do a preview because we're going to kick it back to ourselves in the studio. Very contentious.

Speaker 1 I think Hank and I are good now, but you're going to hear when things got hot in the studio. We have finally decided the bet, so that's good.

Speaker 1 But yeah, things got hot.

Speaker 1 The good thing is with this podcast, podcast is we've been doing it for so long that things can get very hot and then they just cool off right away because we've just been with each other for fucking every day for seven years.

Speaker 1 Quick snap.

Speaker 1 But tune in. It was fun.
And then we have Frank Lasagna and Billy Eichner. Great football weekend coming up.
Great college slate. Great NFL slate.
And yeah, let's kick it to ourselves in studio.

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Speaker 1 Okay, week four, picks, preview, and we have decided on the punishment. We heard the feedback.
They're like, this is stupid. If you keep doing picks with no punishment.
So the punishment is thus.

Speaker 1 The loser of the picks, the year-long picks competition,

Speaker 1 and the second place person

Speaker 1 will have to be going, will be basically locked in a bowling alley. Inside the bowling alley, they have to bowl a perfect game to get out of the bowling alley.

Speaker 1 The only catch being every time they eat a hot dog, if you're the last-placed person, it counts as five pins off your score. If you're the second-place person, it counts as 10 pins off your score.

Speaker 1 So if you eat, let's say you're the last-placed person, you eat 10 hot dogs, you now have to...

Speaker 1 You now have to bowl a 250 to count as a perfect game. I have a question, Big Cat.
Yes. That sounds impossible.
It does. Well, it's supposed to be hard.
That wasn't a question.

Speaker 1 That was just a statement of fact. My question is, how long are the days, Big Cat? Are they going to be locked in there for 24 hours a day? Good question.
No, we have decided that

Speaker 1 what do we say, 10-hour days? 10-hour days.

Speaker 1 Let's do an even 12. Let's make it an even 12-hour.
12-hour days. So if you're in there.
I'm going to really regret that when it's meant.

Speaker 1 I can tell already, like, what the fuck did you just do to yourself, Pierre? Yeah, so you have to be in there for 12 hours, then you can leave and go home, and your hot dogs do count for the next day.

Speaker 1 So it could be last-place person has to be in there for three, four days if they suck at bowling and eating um i think we all suck at bowling i don't i'm very bad at bowling go ahead hank you're pretty good at bowling big cat i i don't think so i think the best i've ever scored is like a 160 and that was the best score i got if i break 100 i'll be happy because i don't i don't really bowl i just don't do it i think you i think i was a candlepin guy growing up i think and then i learned that they don't exist anywhere else yeah candlepin it's just like those are the tiny little ones with a small ball right yeah is that harder i don't know.

Speaker 1 That's all I ever did. And then I grew up in.

Speaker 1 I think bowling is just hard in general, but I do think that if you bowl for enough times, you will get better. Like, you do get better as you bowl.

Speaker 1 My key in bowling, I've found, like in so many other things that I try to do, is to have the exact right amount of beers as I'm doing it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you get to the place where you're not drunk, but you're buzzed and you're just like, you're not overthinking anything. You got the smooth coordination.

Speaker 1 I just have to maintain that kind of like 0.07 blood-alcohol consciousness ratio. Should we add Coors Light equals one pinoff? I like that.
Yeah, I do like that.

Speaker 1 One Coors Light equals one pin off. Now we're cooking.
Now Billy's responsibly. Billy's just going to drink 300 beers

Speaker 1 and leave. You're going to sit there.
I was concerned about this, but now I'm ready.

Speaker 1 I mean, you've got to find that level, though, because if you get too drunk, you're not going to be able to bowl well enough. Now, I do have a question myself.
You know, we say

Speaker 1 12-hour days.

Speaker 1 What if you never get it?

Speaker 1 You will.

Speaker 1 Eventually, you'll eat enough hot dogs. Like, if you don't...
Right. That's the whole point.
Like, so, let's just say you suck so bad at bowling, and the best you've ever bowled is 100. Okay?

Speaker 1 You go in Monday, you eat, let's just say 10 hot dogs. Now you have to bowl 250.
You go in Tuesday, another 10 hot dogs. Now you have to bowl 200.
You go in Wednesday, another 10 hot dogs.

Speaker 1 You go on Thursday, another 10 hot dogs. Now you have to just bowl a hundred, and you should be able to get out.

Speaker 1 So it's eventually going to end, but it will also possibly take a long time, and we will stream the thing for the AWLs.

Speaker 1 It will become mind-umblingly boring and tedious and terrible for the loser of this competition.

Speaker 1 And second place, but second place will actually get the benefit of being able to leave earlier and having it be like over for them.

Speaker 1 Second place should have 10-hour days. Yeah, that's fine.
And last place should have 12 hours. I would assume the second-place person can probably get out in one day.

Speaker 1 If they just eat like 14 hot dogs, they have to bowl a 160.

Speaker 1 The good news is if you're not a great bowler and you just eat a ton of hot dogs, you'll probably have a heart attack from all the sodium and die.

Speaker 1 So you probably won't be in there for longer than a week anyways, regardless of what you're bowling. That is a lot of hot dogs, but it's 12 hours.
Like, you don't think you can eat 14? That's not.

Speaker 1 Can we do daily?

Speaker 1 We're on different

Speaker 1 wavelengths when it comes to food. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that 14 hot dogs over 12 hours is like an insane amount.
It's really not. I didn't say it's a lot.
You ate 24 over 24 hours, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes, when we did the live stream, but that was some with no buns. Can we do, can we do do? Oh, we actually do buns too.
Oh, yeah, it's a hot dog. Can we do what, Billy?

Speaker 1 Can we, like, day three, can we do bumpers just like to no, no, no, stop. We're not adding any more.
We're not

Speaker 1 one more.

Speaker 1 Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1 If you're trying to do a Jeff D-Low, this is not a bad thing. It's going to be bad.
No, go ahead. Just say it.
Say it. No thanks.
If you convert a 7-10 split, you're out. No.
No.

Speaker 1 None of us are going to 7-10. No, that's it.

Speaker 1 How about this? If you convert a 7-10 split, we'll say. One pin.
Yeah, we'll say one ten.

Speaker 1 Do you guys understand how hard it is? What's that bunny? I did that in Wee Bowling like every day. Yeah.
No, 710's the back row, the two corner ones, getting them together.

Speaker 1 If you get a 710 split, we'll make you a t-shirt that says like

Speaker 1 I converted a 7-10 split and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Yeah, I converted a 7-10 split and I still only scored 107 on my fourth day of bowling in the part of my take bowling challenge.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there it is. It sucks for the loser, for sure.
It sucks for second place, not as bad, but it definitely sucks.

Speaker 1 And I think people will have fun watching it, especially if it's like a three-day affair. Yeah.
It's like, got to go back to the fucking bowling mines. Yeah.
Try to try to complete this challenge.

Speaker 1 It's been a while since I've been in a bowling alley, too. I miss the smell.
The last time I've been, I was in a bowling alley, I want to say, was

Speaker 1 the Final Four in Minneapolis.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I found it.

Speaker 1 Fact check, not true. Oh, to be true.
Because the last time we're in a bowling alley was in Dan Bilzerian's house.

Speaker 1 That was... He has a bowling bowling alley in his foyer.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, maybe. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. I forgot that he does.
That guy has everything. He does.
We didn't bowl, though. Except for someone who truly loves him.

Speaker 1 You tweeted out a score when we went for the final four, and it's not looking good for me and Billy. What was my score? Billy got a 73.

Speaker 1 No, that's that was from Ohio. That was way long ago.
That was in San Diego. Oh, that was

Speaker 1 okay. Still, though, I don't think I mean that's I bowled that time, then I bowled in the final four.
Billy got a 73, PFT got a 110, I got a 94. Big hat got a 169.

Speaker 1 Oh, and you were trying. Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, okay. Interesting.
I know. That was.
Well, you think I'm a good bowler? No, but like I remember that day. You are.

Speaker 1 You're definitely. I don't think I'm a very good bowler.
So, Hank, why don't you pick a judgment? Let's start all over from square one. No, we're going to do it.
We're going to do a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 I have a new problem to be a good bowler. You are a good bowler.

Speaker 1 That's not like.

Speaker 1 I'm playing both sides of the situation. I'm just stating a fact.
I'm just sick of this. Because from my experience with you, you are the best bowler that I've played with.
And Jake is better.

Speaker 1 Number one, I think that this is a fair punishment, and we'll go ahead and we'll follow through on this punishment. But number two, Big Cat is definitely the best bowler in this room.

Speaker 1 Jake just said his average.

Speaker 1 I think my best is like 150. Okay.
Max, what's yours? I rock at bowling. I'm a fucking beast.

Speaker 1 So there you go.

Speaker 1 I'm just sick of deciding a punishment. I I like this punishment.
I like this punishment, too. I like how you can.

Speaker 1 Just putting words in the past. How about Hank can have a different punishment? Sure, great.
I don't care. No, that works for me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank, any last words? No. This is going to be awesome.
I mean, I'm going to win, so I'm not really worried about it. So then, yes, so all the complaining was for not.
It's a very good thing.

Speaker 1 When did I complain? When did I complain? When did I complain? You're fat as fuck. You're a little more hot dog than me.

Speaker 1 You're a better bowler than me. Those are both facts.
That is not a complaint. That is a fact.

Speaker 1 Fact or fiction, facts. Facts, yeah.
We were deciding the punishment you wanted. Like if we did a he's not that fat.
Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 No, it's like if we were doing like you already called me fat as fuck, so go ahead, go off. All gloves are off.
No, it's fine. It's fine.
What? Go ahead. I'm excited.
No, go ahead. I'm just

Speaker 1 let it fly. You're clearly mad.
So let it fly. I'm just mad when you're saying that you're not complaining when all I'm just pointing out is like, there's

Speaker 1 continue eating and me eating, and you're a better bull than me. I'm not complaining.
I'm just, again, fact or fiction, facts.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, it's going to rock when Hank finishes in last place and Big Cat finishes in second and Big Cat gets out of there in like six hours and I will do any punishment Hank wants to give me because it's clearly not fair for him So I'm down for that you are creating narratives out of the sky the we you also might see it on PM TV but Hank came in and was on a conference call and I he was like this you're fat you're gonna be able to eat so many more hot dogs and so I tried to change this seems weird I tried to change the punishment toward like to help him and I was talking directly to him for three minutes and then he took his headphones out he goes what'd you say?

Speaker 1 I'm on a call. And I was like, I said I was on a call before you came in, but I guess I'm not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 It's a long process. So,

Speaker 1 let's cut it off at the hip here. We've said our piece.
Yeah, the punishment is fat. I'm fat as fuck.
I'm excited, too. Big cat's fat.
Fat as fuck and the best bowler in the world. Really fat.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Fat as fuck.

Speaker 1 I call obese. I just, you know, no, you're not fat.
You called me fat as fuck. You're saying I'm complaining.
I'm surprised that you made it into work today. I barely, I need to get a scooter again.

Speaker 1 I thought you had to get one of those expensive Mercedes vans with the big sliding doors. Fat as fuck.
Yes. Yes.
Really fat. Yeah.
So fat. Morbidly.
Fat as fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay. Update your will.

Speaker 1 Listen, dude, I'm going to die any minute.

Speaker 1 So fucking fat.

Speaker 1 All right. Actually, Hank, you're sick.
You probably shouldn't have come into work. Yeah, just

Speaker 1 given Big Cat's BMI, you probably will kill him. I'm high risk, Hank.
Why would you do that? All right, why would you come in? Why was he complaining and I got triggered? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Okay.
all right, let's know your picks. All right, we're going to do it in order now.
Let's see if Meme sent it. He did.
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 We're going to do this in order. You want standings first? Sure, give us the standings.
All right. Congratulations, PFT.
4-0. Thank you, Jake.
Now tie for first with Big Cat at 6-6. Hank, 5-7.

Speaker 1 Max 4-8. Me and Billy, 3-9.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Here we go. So we're going to do it in order now.
So there's a little bit.

Speaker 1 It makes a little more sense when we're doing the whole slate. So we're going to start chronologically.
The London game is first.

Speaker 1 Memes sent me, everyone sent their picks to memes. We'll talk about every game this way, and then we will go through all the picks.
So memes sent me all the picks. Vikings at Saints in London.

Speaker 1 I think this might be Andy Dalton. It could be Andy Dalton because James could be Andy Dalton.

Speaker 1 I feel like a cross-continent trip or a bi-continent trip with Jameis Winston's four injured vertebrae in his back is probably not the best thing for it. Correct.

Speaker 1 So it could be Andy Dalton, who's, I feel like he's built for London, right?

Speaker 1 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the last time Kirk Cousins and Andy Dalton played each other in London, I think it was a tie. Ooh.
I would love to see another tie over there.

Speaker 1 I might be making that up, but I'm pretty sure it was the Washington R-Words against the Cincinnati Bengals. That's sticking out in my mind for some reason.

Speaker 1 I also feel like Kirk Cousins, if we're looking at the Kirk Cousins life cycle, I've mulled this over in my head for a few days right now to figure out where we're at with an early game in London because it's kind of like an inverse primetime game.

Speaker 1 I think it's just so early that the ratings will be so low that I kind of want to bet on Kirk in this game. 2016 tie.
Yeah. In London.

Speaker 1 So you want to bet on Kirk, but you didn't pick it. I did.
But you want to bet it. But that's my bonus one.
Yeah. So the picks on this one, Jake and Hank both have the under.

Speaker 1 They're taking the Lunder under

Speaker 1 43.5. I have to.
A little stat for you. Last five seasons, I think we've we've talked about it on this show, but the Saints in October, for some reason, are just really good.

Speaker 1 So they've covered 72.2% of their games in October. I don't know if that's a Sean Payton stat, a Drew Brees stat, whatever it may be.
They are good in October. Also, Justin Jefferson,

Speaker 1 nine catches, 62 yards since Aaron Rodgers said he was the best player in the NFL. Interesting.

Speaker 1 So I was thinking about the Lunder on this one, too, but I feel like the true Lunder is going to be the Jaguars game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I think Lunder, I think. When the Jaguars go to London, London, yes,

Speaker 1 I think that's. And that's, I think, on October 30th this year.
Sounds great. This is the last one? Perfect.
Okay, next up, Browns, Falcons.

Speaker 1 This game is in Atlanta. I'm looking right now.
I have the over

Speaker 1 48, and PFT, you have the Falcons plus one and a half. Those are the picks on these games.
Yep. On this game.

Speaker 1 You want to talk about why you like the Falcons? I like the vibes on Will Compton getting a workout. They're 1-0 since they announced that his workout was coming up in like a month.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to ride the hot hand on that one. I also just like the Falcons at home.
I have kind of a hot take on the Falcons.

Speaker 1 I actually don't think they're that bad. Their defense is bad.

Speaker 1 Their offense is fun. Their offense is fun, so they're not that bad.
Right.

Speaker 1 If one of your units is fun,

Speaker 1 people will be like, oh, they got something. Yeah, I've got a new tier for the Falcons in your power rank.
It's just, they're not that bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're not as bad as you think they are because their offense, when they do get the ball to their playmakers, they're actually scoring a shitload of points.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're frisky and fun is, I think, my exact ranking for them. I took the over in this game, and this is one of those, like, hey, are you just walking into a trap?

Speaker 1 But the Browns and the Falcons,

Speaker 1 this season so far, it's been like 65% unders, right?

Speaker 1 The Browns and the Falcons are both 3-0 to the over.

Speaker 1 They've gone over in every single one of their games. Yeah.
I just, maybe I'm walking in the trap. No, Miles Garrett? Probably not.
That car looked bad. It did look bad.
Looked really bad.

Speaker 1 What's the name of this? Oh, yeah. Yeah, keep him away from Mercedes-Benz.
Yes. And all Mercedes-Benz domes.
I think he was driving a Porsche, but still. It plays the butthole dome.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Also, Nick Chubb, could he do 2,000 yards this year? Dude, I think Nick Chubb is probably... He might be my favorite running back in the NFL.
He's maybe not the best overall.

Speaker 1 He's definitely top five, but I think he's my favorite to watch. We haven't had a 2,000-yard rusher since Adrian Peterson in 2012.

Speaker 1 It would be crazy if Nick Chubb did it while also sharing carries with Kareem Hunt.

Speaker 1 I'm going to die. I'm going to die.
You know that I have to do it. Did you get it? He probably have asthma and diabetes, and he's just coughing and all of our shits.
You get boosted. I'm fat as fuck.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I was too fat to get it. It's crazy.
They're like, this is going to probably kill you.

Speaker 1 Nick Chubb has 341 rushing yards so far. So obviously he's not on pace.
But I was just thinking about it. Wouldn't it be fun if we had a 2,000-yard rusher? It would be very fun.
I like that.

Speaker 1 It would be fun. So who have we had recently? It's been Adrian Peterson.
It was Chris Johnson. And then Jamal Lewis and Trell Davis.
That's it. Yeah.
And then obviously before that, Barry Sanders,

Speaker 1 OJ, and Eric Dickerson, I believe, is the full list. So not a lot.
Adrian Peterson ruined the 2,000 yards because he did it right after he was coming off an ACL surgery.

Speaker 1 So everybody else from that point, if you've got an ACL injury, it's like, it's not that bad. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Okay, next game up.
The Commanders at Cowboys. Commanders at Cowboys.

Speaker 1 PFT, I'll let you just talk about it however you want to talk about it. The Cowboys are minus three and a half.
The over-under is 41.5. Let me tell you who the pick, if anyone has picks on these.

Speaker 1 Billy has the under in this game, and that's the only one we've got in this game. Actually, it's the over.
You have the over. Yeah.
Okay, you have the over. I read it wrong.
You're right.

Speaker 1 You have the over in this game, 41 and a half.

Speaker 1 PFT. All I really want to say about this is I went back, I looked at the tape from last week, 24-8 against the Eagles.

Speaker 1 The Commanders,

Speaker 1 they actually only lost one quarter.

Speaker 1 So, as we know, that it's a game of quarters, much like the NBA.

Speaker 1 And they lost the second quarter 24-0.

Speaker 1 That's tough to come back from. They won the rest of the quarters cumulatively 8-0.

Speaker 1 So, are the Commanders really that bad? Sounds like they beat the Eagles three times out of four to me.

Speaker 1 But no, they stink. They actually do stink.
They're a bad football team. They're depressing to watch.
And I'm just saying to myself, you know what? They lost so badly last week.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys won a game that people thought that maybe they couldn't win last week. I'm going to just bet on the Commanders to cover the spread regardless.

Speaker 1 The thing that makes me nervous about the Commanders is Carson Wentz has been sacked 14 times in the last two games, and the Cowboys are pretty good at rushing the passer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that feels like Michael Parsons might kill him. Yeah, that feels like he's going to be running for his life and making.
And he didn't throw an interception last week.

Speaker 1 So he statistically do.

Speaker 1 The fumbles and the sacks were equivalent to several interceptions. Yes.
Billy, so why do you like the under?

Speaker 1 The over. The over, sorry.
So just this week, I'm going total gut and just reacting and gambling on just like the first thought in my head.

Speaker 1 And Cooper Rush was pretty electric, so he's going to score a lot of points. Okay.
Okay. I like that.
Just get all up in those guts. Just rush.
All gutty. Nice.

Speaker 1 Okay, next game. Titans, Colts.
Oh, sorry, Seahawks, Lions. Seahawks, Lions.
The Lions are, I think, four and a half-point favorites, which is kind of crazy to say.

Speaker 1 Four-point favorites. Over-under is 48 48 in this game.

Speaker 1 Let's see who has this game. I'll do a better job last week, next week.
Memes sent it back to me like two seconds before we started. Jake and PFT both have the Lions, minus four.

Speaker 1 Who? Either of you want to state your case? Yeah, obviously a heartbreaking loss for the Lions last week against Minnesota, but we've seen

Speaker 1 sparks of them being a very good playoff contender. And I think this is a favorable matchup.
I think the Seahawks are very bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think the the Lions have found themselves in uncharted waters for Detroit fans out there, which is if you win this game, like you're supposed to, this is a game that you have to win because you're supposed to win it at home, which you've really never gone into a game with expectations, at least in recent history.

Speaker 1 And I do think that if the Lions, if they win and they cover, which I think they will, then we need to start saying, like, the Detroit Lions, let's get some playoff buzz going for them. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 I have the Seahawks. Max has the Seahawks.
Why do you like the Seahawks, Max?

Speaker 3 The really good thing about the Lions this year has been their offense, and DeAndre Swift and Amon Ross, St. Brown have basically been the reason of that offense.

Speaker 1 Jared Goff.

Speaker 1 Jared Goff as well, but Swift and St. Brown are both hurt.
So I don't know what that offense is going to look like without those two guys.

Speaker 1 Just all Jared Goff. My entire Seahawks strategy is just

Speaker 1 they will stick in everyone's head from Monday night, week one, against the Broncos. And just remember to yourself, like, that's not who they are.
They actually stink.

Speaker 1 It's very similar to my strategy with the Jets. Everyone remembers the incredible comeback with the Browns and be like, no, think about it the other way.
If Nick Chubb had gone down, the Jets

Speaker 1 would have lost every single game this season by two touchdowns or more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, just think of that Monday night game and remember the fact that the Broncos fumbled the ball twice, I think, on the one-yard line. And Nathaniel Hackett.

Speaker 1 And Nathaniel Hackett just pooped, just diarrhea came out of his ear at the end of the game. Yes, and Nathaniel Hackett was Nathaniel Hackett.
Okay, next up, Titans at Colts.

Speaker 1 Titans at Colts.

Speaker 1 This game.

Speaker 1 Colts are minus three and a half. Over under is 43.

Speaker 1 This is one of those games I hope I don't see often on Red Zone. It's just boring.
Why? Yeah. I know they have to play each other.
It's not really like loser leaves town. It's the opposite of that.

Speaker 1 It's like winner returns from exile.

Speaker 1 Like the winner of this game, I think, could actually be a favorite to win that division down the road, even though they both are kind of boring and stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so no one has this game, which kind of speaks to this game. It's a coin flip.
I like the Colts, I think. I think.
Because everybody wrote them off. They probably got some of them.

Speaker 1 If you beat the Chiefs, you probably go into the next week saying to yourself, we can literally beat anyone.

Speaker 1 Is the roof going to be open? Jake, can you get a forecast for us? You don't know just yet.

Speaker 1 I've got tweet alerts on for Jim Ursai, and I'm a fucking warrior because even in the offseason, I just don't leave them on. 71 and Sunny.
So the roof will probably be open.

Speaker 1 So I just get tweet alerts every single time Jim Ursa tweets 12 months a year just so that I can be on top of these. I don't want to forget a week during football season.
So last year.

Speaker 1 It really only applies to like

Speaker 1 six weeks. It's seven, yeah.
Yeah, like mid-October, it's just the roof is closed. Yeah, and into November, roofs.
But I don't want to miss those weeks, so I leave them on year-round.

Speaker 1 This year, he made the announcement on Sunday. I don't like that, Jim.

Speaker 1 Bring it back, please, to earlier during the week, but I think it's more so like you don't want to give away the game plan to your opponent. And we saw last week, it ended up working in their favor.

Speaker 1 Teams start wearing visors. Yeah, you never know.
They could change up their equipment.

Speaker 1 Okay, another game that sucks. The Bears at Giants.
This game sucks.

Speaker 1 Let's see. No one has this game as well.
It speaks to these games when no one's betting on these games.

Speaker 1 If Justin Fields, if

Speaker 1 every game gets canceled except the Bears and the Giants on Sunday, and Justin Fields has 72 pass completions, he will be in first place for pass completions in the NFL. That's incredible.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good, right? I mean, there's a hurricane coming. It could happen.
Yeah. So he just needs to complete 72 passes on Sunday.
Yeah. And no one else completes a single pass.

Speaker 1 That could happen. You never know.
I'm also on the watch for when Roger Goodell is going to have to make that phone call to Brian Dable still about the hat. Yeah.
Like the FDNY hat.

Speaker 1 No one's going to get mad at you for wearing an FDNY hat, but Roger Goodell eventually is, and he's dreading the day he has to make that call where he's like, hey, Brian, I know you're kind of new here, but and we definitely definitely support the fire department and we love those guys, first responders, but New Era pays us a fuckload of money to wear their hats.

Speaker 1 So, could we, could you stop wearing the fucking hat? Yeah. Don't tell anyone we had this conversation.
It's a rock in a hard place. It's going to happen.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, also, the Giants have seven straight covers on short weeks. I don't know if that even matters with a new coach, but that's just one of those weird anomaly stats that you throw out there.

Speaker 1 I love the stats where you can just look.

Speaker 1 We have so the internet is so deep, you can just find any stat to back up your bet. And I suggest doing it.

Speaker 1 That way, if you're wrong, you can just throw that in people's faces and be like, well, the numbers say that. I bet it because of this.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up, this one actually is one of the premier games on Sunday. Jaguars, Eagles.
So we got a lot of action in this game. Myself, Max, and Billy all taking the Eagles.
And PFT has the under,

Speaker 1 and then Hank has the over. Oh, and Jake has the Jaguars.
So we all bet this game. We all have this game.
So I don't know which angle we want to start with. Hank, what did you have? You had the over?

Speaker 1 We got the over.

Speaker 1 Two dynamic quarterbacks. A lot of points.
Okay. Nice.
Fun game to watch. Marquee matchup will have the sound on.

Speaker 1 That was kind of the basis of the over. It's like the sound will be on.
We'll be watching it. I want points.
Yeah. And then PFT, you had the under.
The under, Doug Peterson revenge game.

Speaker 1 I think the Eagles' defense is going to eat. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because the Jaguars' offense, like, yeah, Trevor Lawrence looks good, but especially in week one when there was a lot of pressure that got put on him, their tight ends can't block good pass rushers.

Speaker 1 So I feel like the Eagles excel at getting to the quarterback just based on what we saw last week alone. But they're a very good defensive team.

Speaker 1 So I think they're going to, to borrow a phrase from Stephen Che, they're going to heat up the quarterback a little bit this weekend. Trevor Lawrence will be heated up.

Speaker 1 I do have a bet also on AJ Brown. So AJ Brown is having a baby baby, or his wife or girlfriend, or whoever it is.
He's going to be a dad. So we're doing the baby bump.

Speaker 1 The part of my take baby bump is coming out on the Barcelon Sports book where we're going to boost that plus the Eagles to win.

Speaker 1 So yes, definitely betting on that this week. And also, I've got a scandal that's brewing right now in Jacksonville.
Okay. Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 1 He won the first offensive player of the week since 2010 for the Jaguars when it was David Gerrard. That was the last time they won it.
So he obviously had a great week last week.

Speaker 1 The MVP award for the week went to Lamar Jackson. That's fine.
Lamar Jackson had a great week, right?

Speaker 1 They put the vote out. Trevor Lawrence had 90% of the vote.

Speaker 1 This is according to bigcatcountry.com. Check them out.
They're a one-stop shop for Jaguars News.

Speaker 1 90% of the vote went to Trevor Lawrence. Nickelodeon deleted the tweet and then just gave the award.
to Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 1 It's a scandal. It's a scandal going on.
That's all I'm saying. It's stop the steal.
If Jack Del Rio was still in Jacksonville, this would go down totally differently. But it's fucked up.

Speaker 1 Justice for Trevor Lawrence. Okay.
That is a big scandal.

Speaker 1 We need justice for Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 1 I'm taking the Eagles here just because I think everyone, I like the Jaguars, nice team, but like putting it all into perspective, they beat a beat-up Colts team that they always beat in Jacksonville, and then they beat up a very beat-up

Speaker 1 Chargers team that have to fly all the way across the country and play an Eagles team that's rolling.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be a a little market correction of like, the Jags are good, they're not on this level.

Speaker 1 Jake, do you want to say anything for your Jaguars bet? You just like them. They're playing frisky.
Yeah, Doug Peterson coming back. That's it.
That's it. That's a say no more.

Speaker 1 Say no more. Say no more.
Okay, next up. I also feel like just most of these games, I want to bet the unders on because the hurricane is going to affect so many different stadiums.

Speaker 1 So it's going to be wet as shit there. Yes, yes.
It's going to be, yeah, like the Bills Ravens game, I want to bet the over so bad, but I figure it's going to be Hurricane City. Yep.

Speaker 1 Okay, next up,

Speaker 1 Jets at Steelers. Billy, as first reported by Billy Football, Zach Wilson is starting.
He's back. How are you feeling?

Speaker 1 We're really going to turn over a new leaf with this Jets team. I think, you know, one out of three, Flacco getting us to add to the record.

Speaker 1 I think now we're going to start looking at the Jets, what they really are, and what they really will perform as. So, you know,

Speaker 1 onward and upward. Okay.

Speaker 1 So you're saying, you basically say it can't be worse than it was. Now, would you say that the Joe Flacco experience was a success or a failure?

Speaker 1 I'd say, you know, Flacco, it was a good going away party for Flacco. Hey, one and three.
Yeah. I mean, I think that's just the cherry on top of his career.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he's going to sign him back up, but he just wants to be back up

Speaker 1 and he had to play a bigger role. So I'm very excited to see Zach Wilson come back in.

Speaker 1 Zach Wilson, I think, has finally had enough time that now we we can take him seriously and take his performances at their face value.

Speaker 1 How many games do you think Zach Wilson will play the rest of the season?

Speaker 1 All of them, hopefully. All of them, hopefully.
Okay, that was a good thing. The way you said that is perfect.
We're probably going to bench him for the last two games

Speaker 1 when we make the playoffs. You just want to make sure he's healthy for them.
Yeah, gotcha. Yes.

Speaker 1 Billy, if you wanted to go to that game, Jets Steelers, because you are a Jets fan. Yes.
Could you do it on Game Time? Yes, you can. Okay.

Speaker 1 And that's a hot ticket, but but thanks to Game Time, you can get it for $78.

Speaker 1 Nice. Wow.
That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 And maybe you see Kenny Pickett coming in. I don't.

Speaker 1 It feels like the Mitch strain is slowing down. You think they're going to put him in? Slowing down.
Like in the middle of a game, though? No, probably not. Probably not.
It's just...

Speaker 1 I'm sad for Mitch. I am.
I'm very sad. He should have stayed the backup.

Speaker 1 I saw a tweet earlier that had a, you know, I'm sure it was completely unbiased, but it was just a compilation of good throws he had.

Speaker 1 Okay. That Mitch had? Yeah.
Who treated it? I don't know. It was just some Steelers person.
It was like Mitch. But it was dropped catches.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there were no. It was the all-22, and I was like, if you look at that video, it's like Mitch is balling.
I like those. I like picking out the selective great throws that were dropped.

Speaker 1 I do think that it might be a little bit bigger of a problem than just Mitch. I think it might be the offensive line.
It might be... Offensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 The entire personality behind the Steelers' offense.

Speaker 1 It's painful to watch. I think they have the most boring offense in the league right now, actually.
Yeah, yeah. They have some weapons.

Speaker 1 They have a lot of weapons. Next up, Bills-Ravens.
Shockingly, none of us picked this game. Huh? You did?

Speaker 1 Memes is. We'll clean this up.
I don't see it on Memes' list, but you have, what do you have, Jake?

Speaker 1 Over 51. Over 51.
Took the bait.

Speaker 1 You took the bait.

Speaker 1 Because how could you not? It's the Bills and the Ravens. Lamar and Josh Allen.
I see it. Oh, PFT does as well.
Over 51. Okay.
So you guys both. I'm just nervous about weather.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm nervous about. No, I just got baited.
I got baited. Yeah, you take the bait.
And also, I think win's not real when Josh Allen's playing in it. That's true.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen can throw a ball through a tornado. And the Ravens' defense sucks.
Yeah, the Ravens' defense,

Speaker 1 they're really, really bad. Like, for the first time in my life, I'm considering using the word fraud.
I think this Ravens team might be fraudulent. Welcome to 2019 me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you went down that road, but I think I was right. I was proved very right.
I think their defense is just that bad.

Speaker 1 See, I actually don't know.

Speaker 1 I think they have to win, and people have to hype them up before they can be fraud alert because I think people know their defense is bad.

Speaker 1 Fraud would imply that people think their defense is better than it is.

Speaker 1 I think I'm using the fraud word because I think before the season started, people were saying this Ravens team could make the Super Bowl. Oh, okay.
I heard that from a lot of talking heads.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how I feel about the talking heads.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And so I guess maybe I'm saying they're frauds, and they don't watch the tape if they think that this defense is good enough to get them to the Super Bowl. Got it.

Speaker 1 But I have noticed one thing about the Ravens. I think, and I don't think this is just me being weird about it.

Speaker 1 Their jerseys are brighter this year. Their purple jerseys.

Speaker 1 Jay, can we get a Pantone check at some point to check the purple jerseys that the Ravens are wearing this year as opposed to what they've done in the past?

Speaker 1 I think it's actually a completely different purple. Hmm.

Speaker 1 Interesting. These are the hard-hitting numbers that we got to get behind.

Speaker 1 I made a note of that earlier, but I don't think I'm just making this up. Yeah, okay.
I'm excited for this game. This is going to be a great game.
Very, very excited.

Speaker 1 Next up, we have a game that no one's excited for, the Chargers and the Texans. Max took the under here, 44.5.

Speaker 1 Max, what do you want to say about that? Just the game's going to suck, so just take it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, shitty game. Chargers are banged up.
Texans stank under.

Speaker 1 I like just being like, I don't want to watch this game, so I'm taking the under.

Speaker 1 That's a fair. Anytime someone uses that as their defense of a pick, it's a completely fair thing to do, in my opinion.
I do too.

Speaker 1 I think, like what Hank said about that's the game that's going to have the sound on, I want points. Totally reasonable.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't. I feel like the, I feel like the Chargers are going to kill the Texans.

Speaker 1 It's one of those situations where everyone's like, oh, the Chargers, they're expecting what happened last week with the injured Chargers team to happen this week, but the Texans are probably really that bad.

Speaker 1 The Texans

Speaker 1 at their best are like an injured Chargers team. Right.
They feel like they are that bad. So we got some real stinker games.

Speaker 1 We have some, there's like three or four really, really good ones, but the next one, the Panthers at the Cardinals, like, or the Cardinals at the Panthers, like, that's another one.

Speaker 1 We're like, what's going to happen here? Who the fuck knows? Yeah. And Billy and I have the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 I do like this uniform matchup sneakily. I feel like the Panthers' blues going up against the Cardinals' like white and red trim.

Speaker 1 I think that that will be visually pleasing to have on a television without sound on it.

Speaker 1 I do think, though, that Matt Rule is good as fired. It's actually sad to watch him go through the season, knowing that he's not going to be there.

Speaker 1 Remember, David Temper said he was going to have patience. Yeah, he's going to have patience, so that means he won't probably get fired in the month of October.
Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 He's going to get fired, though, very soon, shortly. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Billy, I don't even know why I took the Cardinals. I was just like, I kept thinking about

Speaker 1 Kyler running around like a toddler with a phone, and I was just like, yeah, one point, let's do it. I think I actually took the Panthers Panthers on like the pro football football show.

Speaker 1 I don't, I, that's one of those ones I, I was just like, yeah, maybe the Cardinals. Sure.
Just like Baker getting really, really angry for some reason and not playing well.

Speaker 1 I do, as a gambler, I do like the games where I truly think it is a coin flip.

Speaker 1 Like anyone who says they have a strong opinion either way is just lying because I feel like I have a better chance at that than doing research and trying to make an informed opinion about something.

Speaker 1 Are we counting this as a revenge game for Cliff Kingsbury or for Baker Mayfield? That's the important question question because he left Texas Tech, right? I think it's for Baker. I think it's.

Speaker 1 Because he didn't start him. It's tough to keep track of all of Baker's revenge games because he has so many beefs at once.
But I feel like this might be a legitimate one. This is like

Speaker 1 Cliff Kingsbury almost took away his entire career when he was in college. Yes.
So now I actually like the Panthers in this game now. Okay.
I mean, I'm not going to disagree. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Even though I have the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 That's how much of a coin flip I do. I feel like that's a good motivational.
Like sometimes Baker's revenge games are completely made up in his own mind. This one might be more legitimate.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. This one could have some credence to it, although he just came off that week one revenge game that didn't go so well for him.
That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Next up, Patriots at Packers.
Brian Hoyer time, 0-11 in his last 11 starts.

Speaker 1 The Patriots, Hank has them plus 9.5.

Speaker 1 I made a grave mistake, but I'm sticking with it. You're jumping in that hole? I'm jumping in that hole.
I thought it was throwback week. Oh.
That's next week. Oh, that is a big, big mistake.

Speaker 1 I realized that after I submitted the pick. But 0-11, Water always finds his level.
He's not that bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's 9.5. Is this Brian or is this Axel?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the Packers are not that good. Oh, I think Brian Hoyer is absolutely that bad.
No. Without a doubt that bad.
No. He has been in the league for so long.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 No, that's good. That means good.
He's good enough enough to stay in the league. No, no, no.
It gets to a point where it's like, dude, you're how old is he?

Speaker 1 If you're in the league for that long and you're backing up Tom Brady, you're just there because you're a guy that can hang out with Tom Brady. Right.

Speaker 1 He likes having you around and he's not threatened by you. Brian Hoyer, how old is he? He was on

Speaker 1 36. 36.
Yeah. What season is it?

Speaker 1 Fall.

Speaker 1 He's about to be 37. He's going to be 37 in two weeks.
That's old as shit. That is old as shit.
Old as fuck. And really old.

Speaker 1 Fat as fuck and old. He's probably going to die soon.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What about last year when

Speaker 1 the punishment was driving across country and it really would have sucked for me with two kits? I didn't complain. I didn't complain either.
Yeah, you did. No, I didn't.
I made it. Salient points.

Speaker 1 I did go off the handle and call you fat as fuck. No, you couldn't.
That was a little bit aggressive. No, I didn't.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You did. You did.
I have the tape. I just said tapes.

Speaker 1 I said, I think my best score is a 150, and then I pulled up proof and you're saying 160. You're like, like, oh, whatever.
Yeah, I'm not that good of a bowler.

Speaker 1 I'm going to make an executive decision right now. We're not talking about the punishment anymore.
Okay, great.

Speaker 1 On behalf of the listeners,

Speaker 1 if we were going to talk about it, I would say how excited are you? Don't complain. No, we're not going to be talking about it.

Speaker 3 Next week on PMTV. Next week on PMTV, you'll see the full thing.

Speaker 1 You'll see Hank complaining.

Speaker 1 Okay. Broncos at Raiders.
So, all right, so you're taking the Patriots here? Yeah. Okay.
The Packers aren't that good. They're basically wearing the throwback jerseys.
Brian Horror is due for a win.

Speaker 1 And someone had the underlying.

Speaker 1 No, they won't be in the Pale Hungry Dog because I'm not putting the Patriots in anymore.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 in the same thinking, I was like, Buccaneers, Packers was going to go over last week.

Speaker 1 I was like, well, this is a game that for some reason I thought would go over, but I think it's probably going to go under because of the defenses and no Mac Jones.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I like the under in this game. Even though the slate looks bad going into it, these are the weekends that sneak up on us.
And the games.

Speaker 1 I can almost guarantee you there are going to be some awesome games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the only complaint I have is that this is the we're starting the three Sunday afternoon games that's stupid there should at least be four

Speaker 1 five would be the perfect number but three is just because if two of those games suck you're just stuck one more thing I forgot to add this in about the commanders they're wearing their all black uniforms for the first time ever so I feel like the road yeah that might be a boost okay

Speaker 1 that would have been a boost if it was a primetime game yeah that's if it was under the lights doesn't feel the same yeah no you're actually right like that's that's a waste.

Speaker 1 If it's one o'clock, we're wearing black uniforms. They could somehow

Speaker 1 bad they screw up all black uniforms, which is

Speaker 1 like the biggest cheat code in football. Yeah, that's why New Zealand wins all the time in rugby.

Speaker 1 All right, Broncos Raiders.

Speaker 1 Who's the better coach?

Speaker 1 I was thinking about this.

Speaker 1 Is it Hackett? I think record-wise, yeah, percentage of wise. Yeah, but like just in vibes, I think it might be Hackett.
I think he's been completely clowned his first three games. I think it's

Speaker 1 no, that's impossible to choose right now. See, the thing is with Hackett, I like Hackett as a person.

Speaker 1 I think he's a nice guy, and I liked interviewing him, and I think that he's like a genuine, he's an easy person to root for. Josh McDaniels is an easy person to root against all the time.

Speaker 1 So I want to say Hackett, but

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I can't do it. I can't make a decision on those.
It's the opposite of Sophie's choice. Shoot both of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you see that Tyler Polumbus, who used to play for the Broncos, I think he also played on the Lions, tweeted a thread about Josh McDaniel's stories. I'll just share one or two of them.

Speaker 1 He said, after trading away the young nucleus of our offense, including Jay Cutler, Josh said to the entire team, fellas, don't worry about the QB situation.

Speaker 1 I can turn a high school QB into an all-pro.

Speaker 1 Which he tried to do. Which he tried to do.
Which he tried to do. It didn't work.

Speaker 1 He said, we had about 25 slogans painted on the walls. God forbid you forget what the slogan was above above the door entering the cafeteria.

Speaker 1 Josh would call players out in team meeting and ask what each slogan said. If you forgot a single word, ass chewing.
So that's just great.

Speaker 1 Like an NFL head coach just being like, you need to memorize these slogans. That's important.

Speaker 1 It also makes me wonder what Bill Belichick would think about the stuff that his disciples knew when he went somewhere else.

Speaker 1 He would probably be like, that doesn't mean shit for winning football games. Right, right, exactly.
Like, you're so stupid. How did you miss all these points I made over the years?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like when I was telling you that you had to do all that stuff for me and memorize these slogans, that was me testing you to see if you were smart enough to realize

Speaker 1 it doesn't make any sense. Yes, yes.
Okay, so Broncos, Raiders, none of us have this. The last one,

Speaker 1 Chiefs, Bucks. So we got a lot of bets on this.
I have the under.

Speaker 1 Max has the over. Hank has the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Did I miss anyone's picks? I think I, again, I'll do it better next time. I got it right before.
So this got everyone. This might be in Minnesota.
This might be in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 No, they just, they, breaking moves two seconds ago uh just announced it will be in tampa okay

Speaker 1 ten minutes ago i feel like that's a uh that's a roll of the dice right there so this is also the return of tom brady past his bedtime so um two and eight against the spread uh when it's a night game which i guess it was it would be one and eight up until he played the cowboys and beat them and covered and that's as a buck

Speaker 1 That's in his last 10. And then his last 10 night games, the unders are 7-3.

Speaker 1 So he just gets tired. Chiefs, I like that.
That's good for me. I do like the Chiefs in that.

Speaker 1 I'm now a converted, just primetime unders guy because it just, like, even if you lose, if you lose the under on a primetime game, you can at least say that was a fun game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whereas when it's a bad game and you always take the over in the primetime game, like I have done my entire life, it just Sundays and Mondays and Thursdays just end so poorly and so shittily. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The whole Giselle thing has been back in the news recently i feel kind of

Speaker 1 i don't need to know if quarterbacks are getting divorced is that a controversial take no no like that's that feels like a pretty private thing that's going on in their personal lives you know who is getting divorced marjorie taylor green yeah no mackenzie scott both of them are yeah yeah i was actually marjorie if you're out there

Speaker 1 a boy or girl that's uh that's bezos' ex who married that science teacher oh she's already getting divorced yeah she's got a pre-dupe yeah who knows this dude might get a bag Wow. That'd be sick.

Speaker 1 That'd be the biggest high school teacher. I'm about to hit her up.
Yeah. I'm about to hit up Marjorie Taylor Greene.
MTG, sup. I know.
You're probably listening to the show right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just want to say, yeah, this devil will go down to Georgia. You know what I'm saying? Nice.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Did you tweet or sup? You should. I will tweet her sup right now.

Speaker 1 I thought about doing it this morning, but then I was like, Big cat will bonk me. Wait, dibs on Mackenzie.
I don't bonk you.

Speaker 1 I already called you. I don't have the list.
I do.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our Mount Rushmore. And we also have a hat parlay.
Yeah, so the hat that went 8-0 last week, 8-0 on these two panels of the hat. We're going to do the Bills.

Speaker 1 We're going to do the Bill of the Hat. The teams are the Seahawks, the Jaguars, the Saints, the Chiefs, the Steelers, and the 49ers.
We're going to do those against the spread.

Speaker 1 There's going to be against the spread because there's some rancid dogs in there. Okay.
And so that's going to be the one this week. We'll get it up on the Barcelona Sports Board.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right, Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Hank, who was your pick?

Speaker 1 In honor of our former co-worker, Taylor, Taylor Juan, taking Derrick Henry. Okay.
Rest in peace. He died.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Max and Billy and Jake, what's your pick? Chub. Chubb, good pick.

Speaker 1 PFT?

Speaker 1 I kind of want to do Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll do Lamar Jackson. Okay, let's go.
All right. I like that.
I like that. This is the white hand, black hand meme.
It is. Let's do it.
Which one's the white hand?

Speaker 1 We got this. Yep, we got this.
Okay,

Speaker 1 let's get to Frankie Lasagna, and then we have Billy Eichner after Frankie Lasagna.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Frankie Lasagna,

Speaker 1 who went viral on Wednesday night when Aaron Judge hit his 61st home run in the Rodgers Center in Toronto. Frankie Lasagna was

Speaker 1 one of the fans that was very close to the ball. Now, Frankie, thank you for joining us.

Speaker 1 So to set the stage, we do a weekly thing in the football season called Fantasy Fuck Boys. And we come up with fake names.
And we've come up with, it's usually just Italian stereotypes.

Speaker 1 So it's like Tony Roast Beef or, you know, Tony Bologna. Yeah, I think we've done Freddie Fettuccine.
Yeah, Giuseppe Pizza, whatever. So

Speaker 1 your actual name is Frankie Lasagna, though.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 officially, it's Francesco Lasagna.

Speaker 1 Even better. Even better.
Okay. So

Speaker 1 we saw your name. We're like, we got to get this guy on.
We got to hear his story about the ball and also just as living as Frankie Lasagna.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I'll start with yesterday.

Speaker 5 So me and my good buddy Larry,

Speaker 5 known him for a long time and he's a big Yankee fan. So every year we try to go to at least one game.
So I look on StubHub and I'm like, hey, you know, we're approaching Judge's milestone.

Speaker 5 You know, we could be lucky and it could be that day.

Speaker 5 I own a restaurant, and I'm closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, but I'm open on Wednesdays. So I decided to go on Wednesday so that I didn't

Speaker 5 leave my wife alone with my two kids for a fifth day of the week. So I'm trying to be nice in that way.

Speaker 5 And so we decided to go Wednesday and looked online and I made sure I filtered out all the seats just to be outfield, left field, and row one has to be row one.

Speaker 5 Saw row one, $150, jumped on them right away. I think it was the fourth at bat.
And

Speaker 5 you're ready, you're getting ready like every player on the field, anticipating every pitch. And then Bomi hits it.
And then you hear, oh, oh, everyone stands up.

Speaker 5 Instincts kind of take over. And I think I elbowed my buddy Larry in the neck

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 5 reached.

Speaker 5 It was like, it was over so fast. And then Nixon, you know, it's bouncing in the bullpen and the disbelief comes like, oh my God, it was within a foot of me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were close to it, but I feel like there was another guy that was a little bit closer that has to be kicking himself.

Speaker 5 It went off his glove. If you can find a slow-mo, it tipped his glove.
And I was just like a foot,

Speaker 5 you know, I'm a little taller than him. Maybe I would have had a better chance.
I had a first baseman glove, too. Not to say I would have caught it,

Speaker 5 but,

Speaker 5 oh my God, what are the odds?

Speaker 1 What are the odds? You were being polite. You didn't reach over into his space.
You didn't want to encroach on his territory a little bit.

Speaker 5 I definitely, there was a daughter, a son, and a daughter to our right, and my buddy. So I kind of jumped over all three of them

Speaker 5 and gave it my best effort. Like, I wasn't,

Speaker 5 I didn't miss it for not trying, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 So, after that happens, what's the conversation like in your section after you see the ball fall down?

Speaker 1 You know, as that inning comes to an end and as the game goes on, are you guys just sitting there and disbelief? Like, oh man, I almost said it. No, I almost said it.

Speaker 5 it was it was very surreal in the moment it it uh everyone in that section was like in utter disbelief and shock like it was like almost like something happened like in the world like something crazy in the world happened and everyone was in just in disbelief for like 30 seconds and then then you kind of kicked back in and you everyone started clapping and celebrating for aaron judge And then it comes back and you're like, oh my God, oh my God.

Speaker 5 Like it was right there. Like, could I have had it? You second guess.
You're like, could I have,

Speaker 5 maybe, how hard would I have got if I jumped over?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you think you could have had it? Because I think you could have had it.

Speaker 5 Possibly. I feel like, you know, a lot of people say it was a little bit too low, but,

Speaker 5 you know what? I say, let's do it again. Give me another chance, Aaron, and see if I can catch you.

Speaker 1 You've got to be rooting now for Aaron Judge to hit like five more home runs, right? Because if it lands, if he doesn't hit another home run,

Speaker 1 that's a

Speaker 5 ball becomes a little bit bit more.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that ball becomes the last home run he hit in the regular season this year.

Speaker 1 That would kill you even extra, I'd assume.

Speaker 5 To be honest, like I'm not, I wasn't more like, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a bit of a cool, cool chunk of money, I guess you can say, if you really got the month, the full value for it. But

Speaker 5 the story, I'm loving the story and just being like in that moment and having a chance and being made fun of on the, on, on the online. It's, it's, I'm loving it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to witness baseball history too. So I got to ask you, Frankie Lasagna, what kind of restaurant do you run?

Speaker 5 Asian.

Speaker 1 That would be so funny if you did do that. Frankie Lasagna's walk kitchen.

Speaker 5 It's Italian.

Speaker 5 Pizza, pasta.

Speaker 5 After COVID, I had to alter my menu and remove stuff from my grill.

Speaker 5 I used to have steak, lamb, salmon, chicken.

Speaker 5 I brought back my dad's burger. My father had a restaurant in the same building as my restaurant 35 years ago.

Speaker 1 Was he Frankie Lasagna as well?

Speaker 5 Phil lasagna. His father is Francesco Lasagna.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you have any kids?

Speaker 5 I do. My daughter is named Frankie Lasagna, believe it or not.
And my son is Lincoln.

Speaker 1 Lincoln lasagna. I love that.
That's a great name. It's like

Speaker 1 the log cabins that you make as a kid, except you make them out out of noodles. Was it like awesome growing up being Frankie Lasagna? I'd imagine it's kind of cool.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I haven't ever hated it.

Speaker 5 I'm sure I was teased as a kid, but I was always the joker and I was having fun as a kid. Still to this day, I'm a big joker.
But

Speaker 5 never once did I ever feel like my name was

Speaker 5 using against me. It's got me at a couple of speeding tickets.

Speaker 5 It

Speaker 5 makes for good conversation. And no, I've never, never not liked it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, everybody likes lasagna. That's a good thing.
If you hear lasagna, you just get happy on the inside. So you're Blue Jays, you're a big Blue Jays fan.
How confident are we?

Speaker 1 Do they have a shot?

Speaker 5 Yeah, for sure. We got a shot now.

Speaker 5 Looks like we're going to probably end up playing Tampa.

Speaker 5 Homefield advantage would be huge, for sure.

Speaker 5 There was the talk that if the Jays did get home field advantage with the border and the COVID restrictions, some of the players wouldn't be able to travel.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 But I think that's going to be wiped very soon and they will be allowed to play. I think the government should hold off just until the playoffs over.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I had one last question. If you had caught the ball, what would you have done? And now this is a tricky question because I think you need to answer it

Speaker 1 one way to start, and then we can do hypotheticals after. But this is, you still have a chance to get some goodwill here.
So, what would you have done with the ball?

Speaker 5 I would

Speaker 5 have definitely held on to it or kept it and tried to get Judge to come to the restaurant and cook for him.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, I like Judge.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, that was incorrect.

Speaker 1 What you need to do, because you didn't actually catch the ball, like, I would go out in front of everyone and be like, if I had caught the ball, I would have given it right back to Judge.

Speaker 1 It's Judge's ball. He did all the hard work.

Speaker 1 I want him and the Maris family to be happy with the ball it would have been my pleasure to hand it back for no all i'd want maybe is just a good old-fashioned handshake knowing that if you actually caught the ball you'd want money so that's what you got to start doing if you do any more interviews pretend you're like the nicest guy in the world and be like all i'd want is a pat on the back from judge and be like great catch fella

Speaker 5 well yeah i guess i guess i could say that but uh

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 5 Cooking for him would be extra.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Or just say that you would take take the ball, auction off, and and give all the money to charity.

Speaker 1 And you would hope that Aaron Judge would match. And I would have matched that.
I would have matched your charity donation. I would have doubled big cats and matched.
Yep.

Speaker 5 Okay. Okay.
All right. I'll take

Speaker 5 that to my next interview.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm doing

Speaker 5 a couple more and I'll take that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Actually, could you, in your next interview, could you be like, I just talked to the pardon my take, guys.
I would have given the ball to charity.

Speaker 1 I would have sold it for charity, and they actually said they would have matched, so it's too bad I didn't catch it.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. all right, perfect.
We want some credit here because, like, if you had, I actually would have, I would have, I definitely would have. For sure, no question in my mind.
I love charity, yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I got a, I got a couple I can bug, bug, okay, all right, good, good, good.

Speaker 1 Um, well, Frankie lasagna, I mean, I just like saying your name, I just want to be friends with you because it would just be great.

Speaker 1 Your friends have to be like having a Frankie lasagna in your crew is that's a great move.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my friends would way that definitely be way less cooler if i wasn't around like that's for sure yeah yeah so uh thank you so much for joining us and uh sorry you aren't good at catching baseballs maybe it was a hockey pot

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 for uh making noodles yeah yeah all right thanks frankie appreciate it likewise thank you thanks for having me

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Speaker 1 And now here is Billy Eichner. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, incredibly talented actor, producer, writer. It is Billy Eichner.
He has a new movie out that he co-wrote.

Speaker 1 executive produced and stars in called bros uh i guess the first question is like that that that feels like a lot for one movie. Are you a little nervous?

Speaker 1 Because essentially, it's like, do you like Billy or not?

Speaker 1 This movie?

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, you're probably going to not love it if you hate me,

Speaker 5 which was our original tagline for the poster.

Speaker 5 But I should say,

Speaker 5 first of all, thank you for having me. And I did contribute a lot to the movie, but I did not do it alone.

Speaker 5 Bros is produced by Judd Apatal,

Speaker 5 who's made some of the funniest movies of the last 20 years, Bridesmaids and Super Bad and 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up.

Speaker 5 And I co-wrote it with Nick Stoller and he directed it. Nick Made Neighbors and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And, you know, these guys really coached me through this process.

Speaker 5 And they really know how to make a really...

Speaker 5 fucking funny laugh out loud movie and so i yes i contributed a lot i do star in it um but they this was a real collaboration between all three of of us that's smart so if you don't like it it's judd's fault yeah what i'm hearing blame judd appetow all right okay don't blame me all right it's my first movie the other thing about this movie is so it's the first ever movie i i think i have this correct that has the entire cast is lgbtq straight and gay roles

Speaker 5 yeah so it's um one of if not the first uh gay romantic comedy we actually sort of call it a you know they say rom-com the emphasis here is a bit more on comedy so we call it a calm rom but um it's the first of its kind um produced by a major studio universal about a gay couple and two gay guys and the entire cast it's all openly lgbtq actors and actresses even in the straight character even playing the straight characters um so it's a first um in that way um and you know it's cool it's fresh it's new it's exciting it really is like uh you know a jadapata movie but you know finally one that happens to be about a gay couple which we've never gotten before but you know it's really just an r-rated good time at the movie theater you know it's really funny and it's exciting and we're very proud of it so as straight men should we be offended that you stole parts from us because like i was going to be in this movie i'd assume and then boom i'm not I don't think you should be offended because, you know,

Speaker 5 historically, straight guys have often gotten to play a lot of the best gay roles.

Speaker 1 You know, you have Oscars for them. Yeah.
This is like the first time that we get to be offended by this. So I really want to

Speaker 1 take that

Speaker 1 job for me. Yeah.

Speaker 5 For the first time you guys are the marginalized group.

Speaker 1 This is fucked up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Someone has a real reason to complain here.

Speaker 1 I love that. Someone will have that take.
You know that. Like some idiot is going to say something like that.

Speaker 1 And it's going to be hilarious to watch them try to do the mental gymnastics being like, how could they do this?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, well, on Twitter, you'll get every take imaginable, and that's fine.

Speaker 5 But, you know, the funny thing is, you know, there are all these historic statistics attached to the movie, and those are great.

Speaker 5 Those are important to acknowledge, you know, that this is a movie that's taken a really long time to get made.

Speaker 5 And it is a big deal that a studio like Universal, the same studio that makes Jurassic World and Fast and the Furious and Minions and all these big global franchises also made an R-rated comedy about two gay gay guys, you know, and it just, it just hasn't happened very often.

Speaker 5 And that's very cool.

Speaker 5 At the same time, when Nick and Judd and I sat down to write it, we never thought, all right, let's write a historic movie or, you know, we just thought, let's write a really fucking funny movie, you know, like we don't get many great comedies these days.

Speaker 5 And I think people have forgotten how much fun it is to go to a movie theater and laugh with your friends and sit in the dark and eat snacks and laugh your ass off and escape our fucking bleak world for a couple of hours and actually watch something that makes you feel really good.

Speaker 1 Yep. And also the air conditioning in the summertime.
That's a big one for me, too. Just I love air conditioning.

Speaker 5 And here's the great thing: you can still check your phone.

Speaker 5 That's the best thing. That's the best part of all.
You can still check your phone. Just don't annoy the people sitting around you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I guess I'm curious because it never occurred to me that there had never been like a major studio funding a romantic comedy about two gay main characters.

Speaker 1 What's one thing that

Speaker 1 I guess for lack of a better term, straight movies, that they get wrong about gay culture when they have gay characters as side characters or like, you know, the neighbor or something like that.

Speaker 1 What's something that they've gotten wrong traditionally that you guys have switched up in this movie?

Speaker 5 Well, I don't know if they've gotten anything wrong necessarily. It's just that we never really get to be the center of the story.

Speaker 5 And I think for that reason, you know, we've had a ton of test screenings of bros at multiplexes all over the country for months since March, you know, we haven't had our official premiere yet, but when you do a studio movie like this, they make you test it a million times in front of all different types of audiences, straight, gay, everything.

Speaker 5 And, you know, what you realize is one of the things straight people love about the movie is that in addition to it being really funny, I hope it is a peek behind the curtain at a culture that you you think you know about from like the random gay characters you've seen on sitcoms, but you don't really know because it's very rare that we get to be honest about it, you know, and get to be the center of the story and really dive into it.

Speaker 5 And, you know, it's so funny, you know, we, um, I sat, I sat in on a focus group they did, and one of the straight guys in the audience, they asked him, you know, about the movie.

Speaker 5 And, you know, there's like this really funny sex scene in the movie. And they were like, like, what did you think of that?

Speaker 5 And he said, you know, he was like, I kind of felt like I was watching Jackass.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, I was a little uncomfortable, but it was so fucking funny.

Speaker 5 I didn't care. It was just hilarious.

Speaker 5 And I actually thought that was amazing, you know, like a great comparison, you know, like, what's the difference if it's two gay guys rolling around in bed, you know, or if it's Sasha Baron Cohen and Borat rolling around in bed with that guy?

Speaker 5 You know, like, it's just funny, you know. And so this is a

Speaker 5 rare chance for

Speaker 5 people like me, like a gay comedian to like star in a movie and and and really get to really get to show what our lives are about in a funny way.

Speaker 1 If anyone compares you to jackass, that's like the highest compliment you can get.

Speaker 5 That's what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, you know, I'm the gay Johnny Knoxville over here.

Speaker 1 That's huge. All right, so can we talk, Billy on the street, obviously, how you got your start is so incredible.

Speaker 1 I, so, you know, I've done some man on the street and not anywhere near what you've done, but I also have done enough to know it is probably the hardest thing to do when, like, creating content.

Speaker 1 How hard is it when you like, because you everything seems so effortless for you, but were there days when you're trying to test it out and starting it where it's like, fuck, we can't get any great moments here?

Speaker 5 Oh my God. So many days like that.

Speaker 5 Like, it's one of those things where unless you've done it and you guys have done it, you know, you don't realize how hard it is to do.

Speaker 5 And we've had so many big stars on the show and so many really talented, gifted people.

Speaker 5 I mean, everyone from like Chris Evans, Will Farrell, Paul Rhode, Amy Poehler, Tina Faye, Chris Pratt, Michelle Obama.

Speaker 5 I mean, we've had so many people and yet they come and an hour in and they're like, whoa, right. This is a lot.
Like you are improvising every second with strangers. You are running around.

Speaker 5 You're dealing with the people. You're dealing with the streets of New York.
You have my guy, my camera guys, my incredible camera crew, been with me now for years.

Speaker 5 They are running with cameras on their shoulders, sometimes running backwards in order to get me in the right angle. Like it's completely insane.
And the degree of difficulty is very, very high.

Speaker 5 And as the show...

Speaker 5 got more popular and and successful there's also a standard you're looking to meet you know like and that character that i'm in that persona when i'm on the the street is so intense, I can't drop it.

Speaker 5 You know, if I drop it, I'm not the guy anymore, you know, so it's not one of those things you can just phone in. So, you know, it's that, it's, it's a tough one, but it's also why I'm here.

Speaker 5 It's also why bros got made. It's, it's why I have everything that followed.
And I'm really proud of it. You know, the people who love Billy on the street really love it.

Speaker 5 And that, you know, that makes me happy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So have you ever been on the the streeted? Has there ever been a guy that comes up to you and tries to get you and their man on the street?

Speaker 5 I'm trying to think. I probably wouldn't be nice about it is the sad irony.
I'd probably be like, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're annoying. Yeah.
You'd be like, I fucking invented you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, now, yeah, now I feel bad because Billy on the Street got very popular on TikTok. I mean, it wasn't even me originally posting the clips.
It was just fans of the show.

Speaker 5 And that led to a lot of other Man on the Street stuff on TikTok because like you said, everyone thinks they can just go out and do it.

Speaker 5 And it's just going to be funny when it takes a lot more work than that. But so I do feel a little bad about all the copycats running around New York.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are there actually people that think that you invented Man on the Street?

Speaker 5 Maybe young people, but I definitely did not invent Man on the Street. I mean, my biggest inspiration for it was Letterman.
Yeah. You know, I'm old and I grew up watching Letterman.

Speaker 5 I mean, when I was a kid, my parents would, for some reason, would let me stay up and watch Letterman when he was on at 1230, when he followed Johnny Carson, when he was like really edgy and subversive and doing all this shit on the streets of New York.

Speaker 5 And I, even as like a child, I don't know, I was so drawn to it. And I also, I grew up in New York City.
I'm a native New Yorker. I grew up in Queens.
I went to high school in Manhattan.

Speaker 5 I love New York so much. It's like my favorite place.
And so

Speaker 5 I love being out there, you know, even though it's tiring and all that. I love New Yorkers.
And Billy on the Street is really, I bring to it what I can, but it's really about the people I talk to.

Speaker 5 And you don't find it anywhere else. And, but no, I certainly didn't invent it.
You know, I, my biggest inspiration personally was, was David Letterman and what he did.

Speaker 5 Although it even predates him, I think, you know, you had talk show hosts like Jack Parr way back in the day doing a version of it.

Speaker 1 Did you ever, what's the closest you came to like either getting in a fight or someone just like losing it on you?

Speaker 5 Yeah, a couple of times.

Speaker 5 But I mean, considering how many people I've spoken to over the years, it's remarkable how few times that's happened. Yeah.

Speaker 5 But once an older lady.

Speaker 5 I think we found out maybe she was a nun, although she wasn't, she was not dressed as a nun at the time.

Speaker 5 She slapped me across the face.

Speaker 5 This was years ago, really hard this was like in my youtube days um and i i asked her some question about sex or something and she just really slapped me across the face i mean she can't hold you that stamp she was off duty yeah yeah exactly look she was doing her job and i was doing mine um

Speaker 5 but but and then you know there have been some guys over the years who uh who start who start up with me a little bit you know i kind of do like i like to have fun with straight guys sometimes like you know i like like to like, you know, give the, you know, make it a little awkward about like sex and stuff.

Speaker 5 And like, there was one sketch we did where I was just walking up to people. I was dressed as a chipmunk

Speaker 5 and it was to promote, it was, I was pretending to promote one of the chipmunks movies, which I was not in, but I was saying I was promoting that.

Speaker 5 I was dressed as a chipmunk and I went around just trying to make out with people, anyone, men, women, anyone. And I was actually surprised by the amount of people who allowed me to kiss them.

Speaker 5 And one, but one guy did not like it. One, I mean, I didn't kiss him.
I just like approached it. I was, I was, and he like put up his fists and like, yeah, he didn't like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, with those people, one thing that you're really good at that a lot of people, especially around this office, admire is you get people to sign releases, even after they look, they do stuff that might make them look really bad.

Speaker 1 What's your secret to getting somebody to sign a release?

Speaker 5 It definitely got easier over the years

Speaker 5 because we could, I mean, the show got really popular and we could pull up clips online on someone's iPhone.

Speaker 5 You know, I have a bunch of producers and production assistants, God bless them, who follow me around.

Speaker 5 And after I speak to someone, we'll run up to them and say, hey, we need, do you mind signing this? And he's a comedian and it's a show.

Speaker 5 And, you know, sometimes when people hesitate, they could go on YouTube and be like, no, no, no, it's just an act. Here he is with Tina Faye or here he is with Will Farrell.

Speaker 5 Like, you know, this guy's legit. And, you know, people, people end up, you know, not everyone, but a lot of people end up saying, oh, all right, I get it.
It's like a bit. All right, here you go.

Speaker 5 You know, whatever.

Speaker 5 Every workers tend to be cool that way.

Speaker 1 Did you ever lose out on like gold? Because that would kill me if you're like, you know, you, you hit just gold with someone. They're like, nope, not signing the release.

Speaker 5 Luckily, it hasn't happened often to the point where I remember it, but it's definitely happened a handful of times.

Speaker 5 And, you know, but it's a numbers game. It kills you, but you've got to move on, you know, like you got to keep going.
And also, I would never blame someone for not signing the release.

Speaker 5 Like, I totally get it, you know?

Speaker 5 So I might be disappointed, but I obviously see where they're coming from. And, you know, that can be frustrating, but I don't know.
You just move on and you're like, fuck it, go to the next person.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about like your career is so fascinating? Did I read it correctly that you got your part on on Parks and Wreck through a DM, Twitter DM?

Speaker 5 That is 100% accurate.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 5 I was doing Billy on the Street and starting to get known for that online and on social media.

Speaker 5 It was a TV series, but we would pull the clips from it and put it online. And that's where it really took off.
And Mike Scher,

Speaker 5 who's a TV writing producing genius who made Parks and Wreck and the Good Place and a lot of wonderful shows. He

Speaker 5 DM'd me out of nowhere on Twitter. This is probably going back to 2012 or something, maybe 2013, something like that.
And he said, Hey, Billy, it's Mike Scher. We're all big fans of yours.

Speaker 5 And Billy, down the street at Parks and Rec. I think we have a part for you on the show.

Speaker 5 And I was like, what?

Speaker 5 I have agents and managers and lawyers and all these people. And I ultimately ended up getting the first scripted show I'd ever done as, you know, from a DM on Twitter.

Speaker 1 That guy's insanely talented, too. The stuff that he's produced, I think he's actually one of the first sports bloggers.
Yeah, tremendous. He started Fire Joe Morgan and invented sports blogging.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He's Mike. Mike is incredible.
And

Speaker 5 really, I had never, I was so, I was just thinking about this the other day. I was so green when I did Parks and Wreck.
I'd been doing Billy on the Street, but that's not like other shows.

Speaker 5 You know, it's improvised. It's not scripted.
You're not on a set.

Speaker 5 Parks and Wreck was the first time I was ever really on a set saying scripted scripted lines i mean i went to theater school i was an actor but then billy on the street is what i had been doing for years and i had never been on a tv set i remember i remember the first day i didn't even realize there were takes where the camera wasn't on you i mean like there were very basic things i did not understand i didn't admit it at the time i just acted like i knew what was happening and eventually i i picked up on it but Yeah, that was an amazing experience.

Speaker 5 And those actors were really incredible. It's such a great show.

Speaker 1 So have you had the thought of like what your life would look like without the internet? Because we have the same thing where it's like, if the internet didn't exist, we wouldn't be sitting here.

Speaker 1 We wouldn't have a podcast.

Speaker 1 We wouldn't have like, have you, have you played out the Billy Eichner's life without the internet and your ability to make a career based on a man on the street, you know, series?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't think I would have a career without the internet.

Speaker 5 I mean, you never know. Maybe I would have strolled into an audition and booked something, but that's never how I got things.

Speaker 5 I was always very bad at auditioning, or even when I was good, it just wouldn't lead anywhere. You know, people just didn't know what to do with me.

Speaker 5 I was a very outside the box character, especially when I started out over 20 years ago in comedy in New York. You know, it was a different time.

Speaker 1 I feel like back in those days, it was a lot harder to break in.

Speaker 5 You almost had to know somebody or be related to somebody to get your foot in the door because there were very few jobs in comedy on television as opposed to now where it seems like you know if if you do have the internet like everybody does and if you're a content creator you can kind of make it happen for yourself and at least see if it works absolutely i mean that's what happened for me you know i there were a lot of executives and agents and things who would come to my live show in new york which is where the billy on the street video started i had a whole live show and the billy on the street videos started before youtube about a year before youtube even existed because i'm older than i look but you know and we would show those videos on a screen and people would fall out laughing.

Speaker 5 I mean, they would love it the way they love it today, but I didn't have the internet to prove to the industry, the entertainment industry, that I would have fans everywhere, that I would have, that it wasn't just a New York thing or a gay thing or this or that, you know, that this is something everyone would love.

Speaker 5 But I was very unique and I had my own take on it on the street. And I was loud, I was really bold, I was very unapologetic about everything, about who I am.

Speaker 5 And, you know, for 20 years ago, that was a lot for people.

Speaker 5 And even when they liked me, they didn't quite know what to do with me or they were scared, you know, and I needed the internet so that I could control it, so that I could say, look, guys, like this video has millions of views.

Speaker 5 Okay. Like there's an audience for me out there and you're underestimating that.
And that's what it took.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have you ever considered selling out and going with a cordless microphone?

Speaker 5 Absolutely not. And

Speaker 5 I know, like, I mean, we still use this, like, we don't do it as much anymore at Billy on the Street, but like, we always use the mic with the wire, which at the beginning, I swear to you, the only reason we used it is because I had no money and we went to Radio Shack and that was the cheapest mic that you could get.

Speaker 5 And so we used it, but then it ended up kind of becoming part of it because I'm literally attached to the A cam, one of the cameras,

Speaker 5 and you can see it in the shot, and it helps like build tension, you know, and it keeps us connected to each other. And it just became part of it.

Speaker 1 So, that's interesting they say that because I feel the same way when I'm watching it, that when that camera comes into the shot that you're connected to, it highlights the absurdity of the situation where you're tied to a guy and you're screaming into somebody's face for somebody holding this black box that's pointed at you.

Speaker 1 And you get to see like for a split second how absurd the entire situation is. And it actually does make it funny.
So, I'm glad to hear that. Never sell out.
Never change.

Speaker 5 I'm never buying a wireless mic. Never.
Love it. It's part of it.

Speaker 1 You mentioned you like to, you know, like kind of poke it at straight guys.

Speaker 1 And you probably don't remember this tweet, but I was looking through, you know, doing some research for this interview, and you had a tweet in 2012 that just says picture of a football, and it's a picture of a football.

Speaker 1 And I just, I don't know if you know, but that was so genius because we literally do that all the time where we just post pictures of footballs. Oh, yeah.
Really? Yeah, no, every Sunday.

Speaker 1 Every Sunday morning during football season, I post a picture of a football. I literally do that.

Speaker 1 You nailed it.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, my culture is not your costume, Billy.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry that I appropriated part of my gay culture. I am sorry.

Speaker 5 You can cancel me, you know, and

Speaker 5 I'm listening and I'm learning. That's what the kids say.

Speaker 1 You nailed it.

Speaker 5 It was 2012, and you're just like, yeah, dudes are probably just posting pictures of footballs it's like yeah we are yeah i do that all the time i i i i love that you know that's great and that's kind of like in my movie in bros we kind of play around with that i mean i'm playing a character like myself but i fall for a guy who's like a bro i mean he's gay but he's like this like you know bro jock type of guy and we're really opposites in that way and um you know that that lends itself to a lot of comedy and a lot of funny absurd situations absolutely all right i have another question question that you, I, I, I'm going to guess you haven't gotten asked this question.

Speaker 1 Um, can you bring back, do you have the power to bring back friends from college? I loved that show. And it left on a fucking cliffhanger and I'm so mad.

Speaker 5 I know. And you know, I hear that all the time about friends from college because we only got to do two seasons of it.

Speaker 5 Sadly, that that's Netflix's call to make, but you know, what's what's cool is that friends from college is where I met Nick Stoller.

Speaker 5 And friends from from College led directly to bros. I mean, I worked, I had a couple of scenes in the sequel to Neighbors, which Nick directed.

Speaker 5 And then Nick put me in Friends from College and he loved working with me.

Speaker 5 And he sent me an email in between seasons one and two of Friends from College, the first and the last season of Friends from College.

Speaker 5 Nick sent me an email and said, hey, I really love working with you. I think you have a lot of potential beyond Billy on the Street.

Speaker 5 And I want my next movie to be a romantic romantic comedy, but I think it would be cool if it was about a gay couple because we've never seen many of those.

Speaker 5 And Judd Appetow was really interested in that, too. And so, that directly came out of Friends from College.
So, sadly, we didn't get to do more of that show, but we got to work together.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that makes me feel a little better that this is kind of you know, born from Friends from College. I just hate whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's shows that you love and then and you like kind of like, oh man, this is a great show. I can't wait for another season, and it's just like, oh, it's gone forever.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Friends from college is interesting, you know, because it is one of those things where people come up to me all the time and talk about it, or they tweet at me or send me messages saying, oh, make another season of that show.

Speaker 5 But there are a lot of shows out there. And also that show started at a very strange time, if you remember.
It was the first, not to get political, but it was the first summer.

Speaker 5 um that trump was president and everything in the air was very heavy and very political and friends from college came along as just the show about like friends cheating on each other and sleeping together.

Speaker 5 And it, it, it felt a bit removed from what was happening in the world, you know,

Speaker 5 and like it didn't feel topical. And I think maybe that affected how critics saw it.

Speaker 5 But I think people out there really loved it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely. I'll have to check it out.
I haven't gotten big cat used to always tell me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Michael DWK

Speaker 1 was on the show and I asked him the same thing. I was like, bring it back.
So I'm just, I think at this point, I'm just going to try to get everyone who is on the show on this show.

Speaker 1 And eventually maybe I can incept everyone to be like, yeah, let's bring it back.

Speaker 5 Yeah, well, Stoller and I had a great time on that. And it led directly to Bros.
So I'm grateful for that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Nice, nice.
So

Speaker 1 the character that you play in Billy on the Street, it's kind of, I was thinking about it a little bit today.

Speaker 1 It's not far off from kind of how Big Cat and I look at ourselves in terms of sports, where you care so deeply about pop culture and about movies and things like that.

Speaker 1 Your character is over the top caring, but it's because there's like a kernel of truth that you yourself actually do care a lot.

Speaker 1 But that's how we feel about sports, where we make fun of ourselves for caring this much about sports, even though we do a little bit.

Speaker 1 So, as a pop culture expert yourself, can you tell us how we should feel about the Harry Styles Chris Pine thing?

Speaker 1 Oh boy, please.

Speaker 1 I just know

Speaker 5 people are spitting on each other. I'm like, wow, you think Brose is gay? Harry Styles is spitting on Chris Pine.

Speaker 1 All right. That's just gay.

Speaker 5 I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, I just saw right before the interview that I guess someone's, one of their publicists came out and said he didn't spit on Chris Pine.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 5 It's tough for me. It's a hard, hard call for me to make.
I did watch the video.

Speaker 5 I don't know. I don't know what happened there.
That movie is just a lot of drama.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So when I first saw this drama coming out about it, I was was like is this is this just a work are they trying to get us to go see the movie by talking about it but then it seems like they really hate each other so i'm not sure how effective that marketing strategy is going to be so i don't know it's very old school in a way you know i don't know it's um uh i mean it's kind of i'm sure it's not fun for them i don't know but uh it's been a minute since we've had like a big kind of fun Hollywood like drama, you know, we were dealing with like COVID and all this serious political stuff for like years, you know, and I think people find it sort of fun to not think about something that heavy.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I like the slap. The slap was great.
It brought America together for an evening. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Exactly. I know the spit is the new slap.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 5 So yeah, we'll have to see how it all pans out. You know, I'm pulling for everyone, as always.

Speaker 1 So with bros, obviously you've reached a point in your career, like, I'm sure that if you told yourself this 15 years ago, you'd be like, no way would I be doing this.

Speaker 1 What's what's like the next big thing?

Speaker 1 What is the, because I mean, it's, it is kind of mind-blowing, I'm sure, for you that you're, you're the lead in this movie that you helped write and executive produce.

Speaker 1 Is there another, is there another thing you are you're going to be like a Marvel character or something? Like, what's the, what's the big thing that you got to knock off after this?

Speaker 5 I don't know. I mean, it's funny because these days, like, you have any success and then people are like, so next you're going to do a Marvel movie.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 5 Like that is like the thing we're all supposed to be working towards.

Speaker 5 I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, this, I have no Marvel movies are great. They're obviously very popular.
I don't know. I'm a comedy guy.

Speaker 5 You know, like, I like being funny and I actually like playing real people. You know, I think Billy on the Street, which I love, of course, but it was a cartoon character.

Speaker 5 It is a cartoon character, essentially, like come to life. That's always how I thought about it.

Speaker 5 And,

Speaker 5 you know, Letterman was a huge inspiration for it, but so was Pee Wee Herman, who I grew up really loving. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 if you know Pee-Wee and you watch Billy on the Street, you'll see what I mean.

Speaker 5 And he was very silly, but also very subversive. Like a lot, there's a lot that's happening there that's similar.
So I've played these cartoon characters.

Speaker 5 And so like one of the great things about bros and why I was so excited to do it is because I get to, I still get to be really funny, but I also get to be an actual human being, you know, with like feelings and, you know, a complicated life and, you know, something that's really relatable to people while still being funny, relatable to straight people and gay people and everyone.

Speaker 5 But it's, you know, we don't get that many movies about like actual people anymore.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 5 everything is like a superhero movie or a franchise movie or a horror movie. And those are great.
There's nothing wrong with those movies.

Speaker 5 But when I was growing up, there was a lot more variety in terms of what was playing at the movie theater.

Speaker 5 And so, you know, again, that's why I was excited to make Bros, because I think that, you know, comedies, something that makes you laugh out loud is just as important.

Speaker 5 It's like a dark, gritty, as a dark, gritty superhero movie. And again, there's nothing wrong with those movies.
I love those movies.

Speaker 5 I go see those movies, but they're not the only types of movies to be made.

Speaker 5 And so I like comedies. And so, you know, for the time being, I'll probably stick to that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but this is the start of it. You're going to do, you know, a nice little four-movie run.
Yeah. And then you're going to get an eight-pack.

Speaker 1 pack and then you're gonna get on all stage all the hgh and you're gonna be like no i'm just changing my diet and i gotta i gotta live in chef so that's that's how come i've got all these muscles everywhere then you'll be by the way i didn't say i didn't say i don't want hgh so i i didn't say that yeah

Speaker 1 shoot me up with whatever yeah as long as whatever as long as it doesn't kill me i'll take i'll take all the steroids um but yeah well eventually you'll get there you'll get to a place where you're bored with making you know movies about real people and you're like i want to be a comic book character uh but in this movie you talked about the sex scene in it is that weird like is your first starring role i've always just heard how awkward sex scenes are in general to film because you've got everybody around you you have to pretend like you're having fun but you're not

Speaker 5 totally yeah and this one is not this one's really there for comedic purposes you know like you know like i said we made the movie with judd appentow and nick and you know we were thinking about scenes like the scene in bridesmaids where they all go go to the wedding shop and they all get like diarrhea, you know, like these like explosively funny physical comedy scenes, or in forgetting Sarah Marshall, that first scene where Jason Siegel is naked the whole time, um, and just like arguing with his girlfriend, you know.

Speaker 5 So, we were we were trying to capture like our version of that, like something that was really physical and funny and a little shocking and all of that.

Speaker 5 So, I'm really lucky this actor, um, Luke McFarlane, stars in it with me, and we just committed to it. You You know, we wanted it to be as funny as possible.

Speaker 5 We wanted it to be explosive and something that, you know, people haven't seen before, something that people wouldn't forget. So it is definitely awkward.

Speaker 5 And not, you know, you're not just with the actor. There is a whole crew of people around you.

Speaker 5 Also, every time you film a sex scene, they tell you in advance, they're like, don't worry, we made it a closed set. No one's going to be on set.

Speaker 5 And then you get there and there were like a hundred people on set. There were more people on set that day than any other day.
It was like my fucking cousins were there.

Speaker 5 I mean, there were like a ton of people on set.

Speaker 5 And you just have to ignore it and do your job for the sake of comedy.

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Speaker 1 My last question is,

Speaker 1 I didn't see you at Marching in the Pride Parade. Were you there this year in New York City?

Speaker 5 I was there. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I must have missed you. I was also there.
So I also marched.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's nice of you. Well, thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, no, listen. Listen, don't.
I mean, you don't have to thank me, but you're welcome.

Speaker 5 I am thanking you.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Well, I'll take it.
Yeah, I'll take the thank you. I drove a giant gay truck around at the shore all summer long.

Speaker 1 I could have had it re-wrapped to put our faces on it, but it had the rainbow flag on it. It had Joey and Pat from Out and About.
I said, you know what?

Speaker 1 As an ally, I'd like to go ahead and represent this brand because that's how much Pride means to me. That was the same truck that I was in that parade.

Speaker 1 So who would you say is the bigger ally? I was Mark. The big cat, who was in the Pride Parade, or myself, that drove the truck around for an entire month and a half.
Yeah, I was in the Pride Parade.

Speaker 5 A month and a half is a long time.

Speaker 5 I don't think you even think I would drive a rainbow-colored truck around.

Speaker 1 But it was free, but he was driving for it.

Speaker 1 I did drive it for a month and a half. I have two children, and I basically was like, oh, my Sunday afternoon.
The other thing with the Pride Parade,

Speaker 1 we were supposed to show up at like one o'clock, and I don't think our float moved till like five o'clock.

Speaker 5 It was, it was no, it always, it always takes forever.

Speaker 5 It's the longest day, but I will say I truly do love that we're on part in my take and we have two straight real life bros arguing over who's the bigger all

Speaker 5 of that.

Speaker 1 So I think it's me. At one point, I was trying to merge into traffic with this truck and this car wouldn't let me in.
I rolled down my window. I'm like, you goddamn homophobe.
I was pissed off.

Speaker 1 Like, they were discriminating against me, thinking that I was gay. That's how much of an ally.

Speaker 1 Again, it was a free truck, so he really had no choice. I chose

Speaker 1 for you to go to the parade. Well, a lot of time.
It's time with my family.

Speaker 5 Maybe next year all three of us will be on the bros-themed float in the Pride Parade together. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'll take you up on that because I've been to a Pride Parade and I had a blast. So I can speak for a couple of years.

Speaker 5 He just drove a truck around.

Speaker 1 Well, I went to a Pride Parade a couple years ago when it wasn't contested

Speaker 1 when it was just me there doing it just for my friends. But yeah, it was good.
I must have missed you, but I was there marching in the Pride Parade.

Speaker 5 We appreciate your presence. And truthfully, like, you know, we do need all our straight bros and allies at bros opening weekend in movie theaters.
It's a great fucking movie.

Speaker 5 And, you know, if you like to laugh, funny is funny. You're going to love it.
And, you know.

Speaker 5 We've been watching movies about straight folks for decades, and we need our friends and allies to return the favor now. So please come out and see it.
And I really think you're going to love it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see it twice.

Speaker 5 See it twice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nah, you know what? I'm going to see it 10 times.

Speaker 1 I'm going to buy 10 tickets.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to see it 10 times.

Speaker 5 You should buy out a movie theater. I want to do that.

Speaker 5 Done. We actually have Chris Evans.
We have Captain America himself, who is hosting a screening of bros in a couple of weeks. It's for like bros who love bros who like want to support bros, the movie.

Speaker 5 And so I would love for you guys to do that.

Speaker 1 Let's do a part in my take bros screening of bros i'm i'm in i'm gonna bring everyone that i went to the pride parade with and i'm gonna buy out the whole movie theater because i was at the pride parade i would love that yeah all right thank you billy you're the best man we appreciate it thank you guys for having me i really appreciate it

Speaker 1 okay let's wrap up the show we got firefest xperian is your big financial friend helping you find ways to save manage your credit and apply for cards labeled no ding decline no approval no ding download the experian app today disclaimer applying for no ding decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which will impact your credit scores experian

Speaker 1 firefest of the week hank

Speaker 1 piquet thank you hello uh

Speaker 1 My firefest of the week this past weekend, I was at Rolling Loud. I don't know if you guys knew that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 all the wristbands sound sick it was a great time

Speaker 1 so sick you got sick I did get sick that's I don't know if that's a fire fest but I've been sick it's not fun yeah

Speaker 1 I came home and my

Speaker 1 so I had an old fire fest where I didn't have a key to get into my door I had to wait outside there was like one of those electronic lock things pin number put your pin number and you can get in the door so I've just been using that and I have a key to my apartment But I haven't been bringing my big key out with me, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 I got home. It was like one o'clock in the morning.
I was pretty fucked up. And the pin thing just didn't work.
Like it just wasn't responding.

Speaker 1 And I was just like smashing it, smashing it, smashing it. And I just had, I had no idea what to do.
I sat there for probably 45 minutes

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 hitting it. And then eventually it just turned on.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I did or what happened, but I was like, I took a walk around the block trying to like, I went to get a drink at the convenience store just to get like a water and be like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 Like, what am I going to do? Am I going to go sleep in the gambling house?

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do because I'm not going to start, you know, I can't bang on the door. Like, no one's going to come down.
Billy's house? Billy's house. I didn't even really think about that.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I figured Billy was also

Speaker 1 in Tennessee. Yeah, he was in Tennessee.
He was probably also entertaining clients. Like,

Speaker 1 I wasn't, I was, I was, it was basically gambling house, or just like, eventually, this thing's going to turn on. And I was just drunk enough where I was like, it's going to come on.

Speaker 1 It's going to come on. It's going to come on.
And eventually it did. But it was, I got in at like 2:30.
That's always tough. That's always tough.

Speaker 1 One time I went through a similar experience where I lost my key and I couldn't get in, and you just have to sometimes sit down next to your door and just pray to God that a neighbor comes in or out.

Speaker 1 And that's a lonely existence. Yeah, that's brutal.
I'm glad you made it in safe, though, Hank. Yeah.
Yeah, I did. It could have been ugly.
You could have survived out there. You're a warrior.

Speaker 1 Probably. How long do you think you could survive on the streets? Like, astray? A while.
Give us a day. Like, not allowed to go inside any doors.

Speaker 1 Three weeks. That's a long time, Nice.
Billy, how long do you think you could survive? That should be his punishment if he doesn't want to do the bowling. Yeah.
Oh, just live outdoors?

Speaker 1 I'm like off for the bowling. I can't wait to bowling.
You are. You're super excited.
Super, super excited. I was going to say, I could, I could probably, like, deciding how long I could live off.

Speaker 1 Live on the street. Just off your stored fat? Yeah, right.
I was going to say, it's either... Well, the question is, can I live there for a long time because I'm so fat? I'm a fat fuck.

Speaker 1 Or would it be, I'm such a fat fuck that, like, I would die because I'm such a fat fuck?

Speaker 1 No, I think it'd be very safe for you in the wintertime because you've got that, you're like a bear that hibernates. Yeah.
I lashed out. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I want to put it on the record that I apologize for saying that.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 mostly uncalled for. Very, very pointed.
I'm sorry that you think I rigged the competition to something I'm good at. I wanted to do something that the people would enjoy.

Speaker 1 I never said that. I'll eat that.
Double the hot dogs. I don't give a fuck.
I never said that. I'll eat double the hot dogs.

Speaker 1 As a moderator of this conversation, I just want to say, big cat, I can't, like, I understand maybe why Hank's upset, but you have to also think about from this perspective: like, Hank would never ever rig a competition that he was setting up to make it more beneficial for himself.

Speaker 1 It just wouldn't happen. So, like, let's give Hank a little credit on that.
Yeah, that's true because you can tune into episode nine of the mini golf next week. Hank played it 10 times beforehand.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're talking about merch blue. Yeah, there's a couple of things.
There's a couple different ways. There's so many.
I mean, there's so many.

Speaker 1 We have binders full of Hank-rigged compilations. Well, that's why Hank was so good at spotting it because he's the expert at the bottom.
Yeah, that's true. And I never even crossed my mind.
But

Speaker 1 he's been holding on to my 169 seven years ago, being like, this will come in handy.

Speaker 1 All right. PFT.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest is, unfortunately, we had to.

Speaker 1 We canceled the festival this weekend because there's a hurricane coming through Atlantic or through Ocean City. Wait, seriously?

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the entire festival, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, just got canceled. And it's a bummer because, and it's not even.

Speaker 1 Like two seconds ago? Yeah,

Speaker 1 like two hours ago. Fuck.
It's a bummer because I was, you know, I talked about on this show on Monday, I was going to get to play with some of my like childhood heroes for playing at this concert.

Speaker 1 It would have been awesome. And

Speaker 1 a lot of people have asked me because I tweeted it out, like, are you secretly excited that you get to cancel this plan because it's something you have to go do?

Speaker 1 No, not at all. Like, I saw the picture this morning of where they were setting up the stage, and it was like

Speaker 1 a giant festival sound stage. I'm talking like you see at those huge outdoor concerts in like England where everyone's got the flags and shit.

Speaker 1 Giant stage that was set up on the beach overlooking the water and like Ferris wheels and shit. It would have been incredible, but unfortunately, there's a hurricane coming to town.

Speaker 1 So it's canceled. So if anybody knows a place that Pup Punk can play this weekend in New York City, let me know, and I'll try to get it set up.

Speaker 1 I think that becomes my Fire Fest that I didn't agree to go. Yeah.
Because then I could have had that canceled. Yeah.
Oh, I I was down to go. It would have been really nice.
Yeah. I was.

Speaker 1 I feel like I was very honest. You asked the whole group.
Oh, does anyone want to come? I was like, well, I am going to Chicago this weekend.

Speaker 1 So if I weren't, I would at least consider it before I said no.

Speaker 1 I invite everybody in the group chat on those types of conversations because I know that Big Cat won't come because he's got family stuff that he takes care of. But I would have considered this.

Speaker 1 But it's nice.

Speaker 1 I would have come to this one. But it would have been worse if I hadn't invited anyone.
Right, but I would have come to this one. Yes, this one I could have, but you can't cancel.

Speaker 1 Because unfortunately, this hurt.

Speaker 1 I would have come twice. So it's a bummer.
I've been coming all weekend.

Speaker 1 I also have broken ribs, which is tough, or broken, fractured cartilage in my ribs, but I'm not going to complain about that. I'm just a herbal.
I'm a warrior. I'm a fucking warrior.

Speaker 1 I got a Tortill shot. I come to work on like Stephen A.
Smith. That's true.
That's a fact. Those are all facts.
How was Torto?

Speaker 1 They actually fucked up my injection. Shout out Tyrod Taylor.
So they gave me the injection in my arm. And my arm, when you get a shot of Torto, it's awesome.
It's crazy. Like, it burns for a while.

Speaker 1 It feels so warm. You can feel it go in.
Yep. So, I got the injection in my left shoulder on Sunday, and it didn't do, it did not make its way over into my ribs at all.

Speaker 1 So, like, there was no painkilling effect. Then they gave me a painkiller, and they're like, Here you go, take this.
I was like, I have to go work right now.

Speaker 1 So, I couldn't even take the painkiller before I went into the office. So, I took it on Monday night.
It felt great. Just because we hear all the NFL players talk about it, I just wanted to.

Speaker 1 I've had a couple in my back, and it feels so good.

Speaker 1 It does. The warm sensation sensation he's talking about, like your whole, like my back felt warm, and then they like gave me a steroid pack and it was like, oh, I feel great.
But

Speaker 1 I wasn't cured. I just felt great.
Yeah. Just then like a week later, I was like, I still hurt.

Speaker 1 It just honestly makes your arm feel warm for a second. And then as it spreads out and dissipates in the rest of your body, at least for me, like I sort of get flushed and a little bit.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just cool to be able to say like, yeah, I got tortole injection to this day.

Speaker 1 All right, my Fire Fest. This happens to me every single football season, and

Speaker 1 I'm nervous that it might stick a little bit longer this year, but

Speaker 1 I'm starting to like betting unders, and it's a phase I don't like, and I do it every year. I get like a little stretch where I'm like, ooh, I win one under, and I'm like, that was easy.

Speaker 1 So just everyone understand that if I say I like an under, I will get out of this phase. You know what I mean? It's like, it's kind of like, you know, I'm trying some new stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm trying some new shit.

Speaker 1 you know i'm i went to college and i tried a little little something different you experimented yeah so i this literally happens anyone who's been listening to me talk about gambling for the last decade they know like once a year i will like fall in love with unders for like a two-week stretch and then i'll knock myself out of it i'm deep in it right now like i only i look at the board and i'm like oh i love all these unders it's gross you'll you'll phase out of it and you'll get back to betting uh not on the over for games that you like the unders right they it's i phase myself out of it.

Speaker 1 I stop

Speaker 1 just betting unders, and then slowly I just start betting all the overs and lose all my money. But I think you're set up nicely for this year because we've had so many unders hit recently.

Speaker 1 Well, that's part of it. That as the season goes along, that's going to correct itself right at the time that you're swinging back into overs mode.

Speaker 1 So I think that you're probably not going to lose any. Sunday or Monday night bets for the rest of the year.
It's just a gross feeling. You just don't, I don't like doing it.

Speaker 1 I know when I do it, I'm like, this is not me, but I just, something comes over me once a year and it's just, it's the worst.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I do actually get a sick, perverted, good feeling out of doing that during basketball games. Right.

Speaker 1 And rooting for double dribbles and shot clock violations.

Speaker 1 The thrill you get when there's a shot clock violation and you bet the under is it's disgusting and it makes me feel dirty inside, but at the same time, it feels, it hurts so good.

Speaker 1 And really all I need to get out of it is just one of those games where it's like the first half is six to three and then the second half is a shootout and you're like, why didn't I, that's the beauty of life's too short to bet the under you're always alive yeah so once that happens i'll be i'll snap out of it but right now i'm going through some shit so i'd like everyone to you know be be nice to me about it billy a little update on a fire fest i had a couple weeks ago uh it's been four weeks since i got bit by the ticks haven't had any reactions yet

Speaker 1 uh still not i mean i mean oh that's great still not out of the woods yet you're still putting meat in your mouth yeah

Speaker 1 that's weird you're sitting not out of the woods because that's where you got them. Yeah.
But you got them on your butt, too. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 Where did you sit down? No, well, they crawl up your leg. It's like Cosette.
It must have crawled into your asshole for warmth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because we were doing a shoot the other day that I'm sure you'll see soon enough. Very funny commercials shoot.
And Billy was like, I have tick bites on my butt. And we're like, okay.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I had to take my pants off.

Speaker 1 Different story. Pretty good to take your pants off for you.
It's going to be a great commercial. It is going to be a great commercial.
Yeah. It's going to be a great commercial.

Speaker 1 and then my fire fest is I've also been sick like Hank. Oh, cool, but I show up you guys doing the same drugs or our fire fest is we're gonna be sick, yeah, but like looking at me nodding like I'm so

Speaker 1 showing up to work sick like a cool thing. No, I beat this shit.
No, it's not a bad thing, right? It's thank you Hank making us all sick. Thank you, Hank, for not doing it to work yet.

Speaker 1 But I'm not symptomatic. I'm not symptomatic.
I keep my symptoms inside. So you're not sick.
You're in denial. You're just making up excuses.

Speaker 1 So are you sick? No, I beat it. Oh, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 When were you sick? Wow. Like, Monday.
Okay, so when

Speaker 1 you're right after you went to Tennessee? Yeah, that's a hangover. No, and I was sneezing.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sure you were. You don't sneeze when you hungover.
Depends on

Speaker 1 how much cocaine you put up your nose. No, Jesus, I don't do that.

Speaker 1 My fire fest is I'm about to get sick. Yeah.
At least I'm paranoid about getting sick. Why do you? Not for the next week.
Because you're sandwich between.

Speaker 1 I'm going to wake up and think, is today the day?

Speaker 1 Jake, you can't live like that.

Speaker 1 You just keep going. Yeah, I'm here.
I'm not going to hide. No, I know, but you can't be like, oh, today's the day that I'm going to get sick.
You just got to be like, fuck it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to fucking beat this shit. Yeah.
Do you get some sleep? Do you often wake up with like a tickle in your throat and you're like, what's happening now? Of course. Yeah.
Every day.

Speaker 1 Scratchy throat. Oh, and you're going to see Aaron Judge on Friday.
So you might have to survive one more night.

Speaker 1 But you might not make it. I'll make it.
Yeah. What about Jake Plumber's mushrooms?

Speaker 1 I've been doing those not not as consistently as I like, but I did that more so for the dog allergies.

Speaker 1 Has it helped? We haven't tested it yet. Oh, we got to get a dog in here.
Get that dog in you. Yeah.
I'll finish the thing first. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do ping pong. Oh, big cat.
So we talked about this before you came into the room. So with the whole Merchapalooza

Speaker 1 back and forth fiasco. Yep.

Speaker 1 I told Hank. It is a great, great point.
I didn't even think about that. Hank literally last episode rigged a conversation and then accused me of that.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I really unbelievable you often.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 what I did, Piquette, is I told, since Jake got steamrolled by Hank in the Merchant Palooza thing, I told Hank that if he gets the ping pong ball right today, if he guesses it correctly, then I will make Jake whole after Jake pays Hank the money.

Speaker 1 But Hank's not getting a dime if he doesn't get it right. I also told Jake I wasn't taking his money.
So we're getting a dime either way, agreeing to this?

Speaker 1 So I'm giving Hank $1,600 if he gets the ping-pong ball correct today. I'll double it.

Speaker 1 So $3,200? Yes. Wow.
You're not going to get it. You're never going to get it.
All right, deal. No, wait, wait, wait.
Big Cat, are you doubling mine? I'm doubling yours.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to match Big Cat.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 So now we're

Speaker 1 $6,400. Shortly after he called the fat fuck with

Speaker 1 the strength in his voice. No, Billy, you don't get anything.
No, no, but there was an AAWL did the math.

Speaker 1 The equivalent of Hank never hitting a number is of hitting the ball nine times. Oh, that's great.
I love it. All right, so he's not going to hit it as of like two weeks ago.

Speaker 1 So if he gets it, he gets $6,400. $6,400.
$17. Okay.
Come on. 26.
Oh, my God. If you get it, this show if he flips it inside out.
He's 82. He's never gotten it.

Speaker 1 It's the same thing as when he says he's going to get a six-pack. Yeah.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 41.

Speaker 1 All right. What's yours, Batgirl? 18.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 One time for the kids.

Speaker 1 Try everything on Then Tur. Wait, what new number did you pick, Hank? 73.
Not even close.

Speaker 1 I'll do that deal all day. He'll never get it.
That was so close. He'll never get it.
That was so close. He'll never get it.
Penguins shoot their shit away from their nests and can launch it 20 yards.

Speaker 1 Hank, I'll do a deal with you real quick, right?

Speaker 1 Rest of the year,

Speaker 1 if you don't get it, you got to give me

Speaker 1 let's say five grand. And if you get it once,

Speaker 1 I'll give you 2,500. Whoa, I'll match.
Deal. I'll match.
What's he getting?

Speaker 1 If he gets it twice, deals off.

Speaker 1 How about Hank? He's got to get it exactly once before the end of the year.

Speaker 1 How about Hank pays? He pays each of us $2,500 if he gets it, and then I'll pay $2,500, you pay $2,500. But we should get better odds than that.

Speaker 1 He has a lot of chances. But he's never going to get it.
He sucks. Yeah, that's true.
He's never going to get it. All right.
Deal. But if you get it twice,

Speaker 1 then it's null. It's exactly once.
Understood. Okay.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to start checking the balls before every

Speaker 1 he might rig it. Yeah, he actually definitely will rig.
Good point, Billy. Make sure these balls don't get touched by all of them.
All right, Billy, that's a good job.

Speaker 1 Before every episode, you have to count every ball in the machine. That's great, though, because then we have a redemption.
I think it should actually, here's what the odds should be.

Speaker 1 If you get it once, you get five grand from me and PFT. Love it.
If you get it zero times, you have to give us five grand total. If you get it two times, you have to give us five grand total.
No.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's not good. That's terrible.
What are you talking about? You're not going to get it twice.

Speaker 1 That's. Yeah.
Hank, you've never got it.

Speaker 1 I'll do five grand, five grand, $2,500 for twice. Okay.

Speaker 1 Three grand, $1,500 each. Okay.
So you pay us $3,000 if you get it twice. We pay you $5,000 if you get it once.
You pay us $5,000 if you get it zero times. Deal.
Okay. Deal.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I feel like like that's bad odds for me, but I don't love it. Love it.
No, I mean, no, you just heard it. You can't possibly be this bad for that long.
What if I get it three times? Oh, God.

Speaker 1 No, hey, like, three grand back to me. Why are you afraid? Yeah, I should get redemption.

Speaker 1 There should always be redemption. Fine, fine.
Five grand back to you if you get three times. Fine, fine, fine.
And at four grand, you have to give Billy $10,000

Speaker 1 four times. And suck his gifts.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Suck the ticks off his ass.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what

Speaker 1 to say, I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a modern day to find you. Shy,

Speaker 1 I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 1 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 1 Needless to say

Speaker 1 to sing it.

Speaker 1 Somebody

Speaker 1 stole a little

Speaker 1 way.

Speaker 1 Slightly Surveillance

Speaker 1 I came.

Speaker 1 Drink on me.

Speaker 1 Things like the same

Speaker 1 is in love.

Speaker 1 Just a way that worry.

Speaker 1 You are things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 You shine on.

Speaker 1 Love you coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Love and coming for you to many light.

Speaker 1 Stay

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 take on me all

Speaker 1 the way down.