Comedian Billy Eichner, Frankie Lasagna, NFL Week 4 Picks & Preview + Fyre Fest of The Week

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have Billy Eichner, incredible comedian. He's got a new movie out, we talked to him about that, Billy on the Street.
We do our picks and preview. We have Frankie Lasagna in place of Fantasy Fuckboys, the guy who almost caught Aaron Judge's 61st home run on Wednesday night.
Firefest of the week and a recap of Thursday night football. As we progress through the season, every fan knows that big wins are hard to come by and tough losses are even harder to accept.
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Okay, let's go.

Buy! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Visible. Visible.com.
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Today is Fri-yay, September 30th. And like the Tua injury was very bad.
That's how we got to start because that was very, very bad. It was bad and we – so it's tough because we don't know exactly what happened after the game against the Bills last week, but I can tell you like we watched that injury happen in real time.
We're like, okay, he very obviously has a head injury. I think most people saw that.
Yeah. He got up off the ground shaking his head, stumbled because his head hurt.
Not touching his back. Not touching his back.
And then he goes, he gets evaluated. He tells him it's his back.
I don't know if they gave him the concussion test. I don't know what, because you might not even get in the protocol if they just diagnosed it as a back injury, right? Yeah.
But the bottom line is like, I think we talked about this on Sunday night. So it's not like news to us.
He probably should have been playing tonight. Right.
And it was, it was one of those things that people that people could say hindsight is 2020 but it wasn't really 2020 because a lot of people were like this feels weird and then he suffers a brutal brutal concussion stretchered off it was like tough to watch and I know that some people will be like oh you're a pussy like it's a you know it's football but like if you're watching that and you see the way his body naturally reacted to getting concussed in his hands it was really really like that was one of those hits especially considering the fact that Sunday happened where you're thinking not like oh he's out for a couple weeks or oh he's out for this like you're like I hope he's okay as a part like it has nothing to do with football you know what I mean like I hope he's just okay. There were some people really getting their rocks off to the injury, though, online.
Oh, yeah. Like chasing the clout with the injury.
Like Stu Finer? Well, yeah. Oh, you didn't see Stu's tweet? Pull up Stu's tweet and get a live reaction.
There were some people just being like, I think Chris Nowinski, who's the doctor that works at the Boston University Brain Clinic, who is actually more in tune with this stuff.

But he tweeted out, like, if Tua dies from second hand or second impact syndrome, sue everybody.

It's too early to be throwing out the death word.

The only thing you should be saying after an injury like that is, like, that's really scary.

I hope Tua's okay.

And we did have as a Bills fan trending, which was nice. Very classy.
It was a lot of Bills fans. Stay classy in Buffalo.
Have you found it, Hank? Is it just this picture? Yeah. Yeah, that was instantly right after.
It was what Tua looked like after that sack. What is this from? It was from Something About Mary.
Something About Mary. Or maybe it wasn't Something About Mary.
What movie? Scary Movie 2. Yeah, same actor, though.
Something about Mary. But, yeah.
It was scary. Like, especially going into it, we knew that at least we had talked about it, that Tua should not have been in that game.
Right. And then seeing him hit his head, it's like, okay, this is like worst case.
Because you can't actually have severe, long-lasting effects from getting a second concussion that quickly. Oh, yeah.
background research the nflpa is doing here's the thing though like if you're if you're a player your natural inclination is to say i'm fine i can go back in right players are always going to say that so you can't blame players for lying about concussions to get back in the game you can educate them and say like here's what to look for and it's serious, so don't lie. Right.
But the reality is players, especially in the NFL, when your availability translates to millions of dollars in free agent contracts and reading up with that team, it means the world, if you're able to play, they're going to lie about whether or not they feel symptoms of a concussion. So you've got to take it out of their hands and have the team doctors or the independent neurologists actually look at it, And it looks like, and again, we don't know all the facts and how things broke down, but it looks like there was a disconnect when Tua was diagnosed with a back injury where he didn't get the independent neurologists involved.
And we'll see what they say about it after the fact. But if he had gotten severely hurt, if it was like a long-term impacting, which it still might be, we don't know.
Yeah, he is going back with the team which is good and he was you know responsive and everything in the hospital i think he was discharged so that is good it's good but it can still have long-term effects we're not doctors yes yes do it should sue everybody absolutely the um tony gonzalez i think said it afterwards he's like let's be honest the reason why he went in the gate back in the game on sunday is because they were playing the bills and they're they're trying to win a division that's that is football um i also saw some people getting mad at the amazon booth for like not uh addressing it head on and in their like seven minutes in halftime this is my my big thing and obviously stew's tweet was stupid but i'm not like gonna be mad at stew for it because i i always always always hate when something bad happens and then everyone just searches for who to be mad at. That was me initially tonight.
You were? They were mad at me. Oh.
Because as Tua was on the ground, I was in the process of tweeting out a block that Alec Ingold just laid on somebody on the previous play. Right.
It was a good block. I was like, check out this good block by Alec Ingold.
I stand by the fact was a good block. And then everybody just was like, dude, what the fuck is this about? I'm sorry.
I'm not in a time machine. It's stupid.
I made a second half bet. People were like, how could you do this? Well, I mean, dude, I...
You're right. We need somebody to focus our anger at.
Everyone always does it. They always try to find the worst tweets.
They always try to find the person who didn't say the exact correct thing. When you have Richard Sherman and Ryan Fitzpatrick, I'm not caping for them, but it's their second broadcast, third broadcast ever, and they're thrown into this situation at halftime.
I think they talked about it more at length after the game, but they have seven minutes to break it down. It's like, let's everyone relax.
It was bad. Tua, we hope he's okay, but you don't have to go searching the internet to be mad at someone yeah it's not gonna fix it it's also everybody's sitting at home watching thursday night football on their televisions and we all have to some extent probably like we see a devastating injury and it's like well that probably wouldn't happen if we if all of america wasn't watching this game right there wasn't a reason there wasn't an audience out there right for thursday night football but it's helpful to have somebody that we can be like that guy is actually the bad worst guy yeah he's worse than me delete that tweet bro yeah let's jump on that guy but yeah i mean it was it was bad i hope to is okay i'm like i i like to a lot and i i really hope he's i hope it's something that's like I said it's not even about football it's like I hope he's okay in general like it's not hey I hope Tua plays next week it's I fucking hope Tua's brain is okay yeah there because that was even take out Sunday that was just such a violent hit and at any time we were talking about it like Ryan Shazier on the same field when that happened how how horrific it was and you have those reminders like it it does you have those reminders every now and then in the nfl where it's like oh fuck like this is a very violent game and really bad things can happen that's always weird too when they bring ryan shazier out and they they had him like in the first year after his devastating injury they would have him, shuffling because he was making progress and learning how to walk again and, like, you know, going through physical therapy.
And they'd have him, you know, like, shuffling across the field, obviously in discomfort still. And people would, like, stand, like, round of applause.
Obviously, we're glad that he's okay. At the draft, yeah.
But they were making, like, a big spectacle. It's like, this is kind of sad.
Showing him in the box. Yeah, yeah.
It's like, yeah, this is kind of a reminder that, yeah, football is a very violent sport. But guess what? We're all kind of hypocrites in this situation.
Oh, of course. Of course.
And we still love football. Right.
And players are still going to love playing football. I'm going to love watching football.
I'm going to continue to watch. Yeah, the really only thing you could say, and I don't want to be – this podcast is not supposed to be sanctimonious at all it's just the concussion protocol is there to hopefully help things like this not happening and you just hope that it's being followed that's like really all you can say and and if it's not being followed someone's ass should pay for that because like we you know we had the big reckoning 10 years ago when concussions became a big deal um and so you hope that like the actual medical professionals are doing their job and making sure that everyone's as safe as they can be knowing that football can never be it's never 100 not safe but make it safe as possible i blame jeff bezos we can that's a convenient person to blame right call he's putting amazon football on thursday without jeff bez this doesn't happen.
Direct all your anger at Jeff Bezos. What were you going to say, Billy? Why hasn't Jeff Bezos tried to invent a machine that can definitively tell you if someone is concussed? Or a helmet that can definitively make it so you can't be concussed.
He's invested in football. Now he really has got to put his money where his mouth is.
Yeah, anti-concussion helmets. Yeah, like save football, Jeff Bezos.
Save football, save the world. You'll be the most popular man in the world.
All right, so let's talk about the game. Bengals, Zach Taylor was on my shit list for a minute there.
He's a loser. Kicking a field goal from the one-inch line in the fourth quarter.
Technically, it was a one-yard line because the analytics don't tell the difference. Yeah, but then he kind of redeemed himself by doing the correct thing in taking that last deep shot that sealed the game because that was definitely a spot where he could have been very conservative, run the ball three times, punted, played defense.
So, yeah, the Bengals, I don't want to say they're back because it does still feel like there's they have drives where it's just very clunky and like disorganized that's how they've always been though the Bengals true so they have a lot of drives that stall out but I feel like they also lead the league in just taking shots yeah big plays deep ball they love the deep ball and so they can have some drives where you, or some games where Joe Mixon rushes 20 times for 65 yards or whatever it is that feels like a normal Joe Mixon stat line. But then you've got like four shots over the top from Joe Burrow to Chase or to T.
Higgins, who we talked about this a little bit during the game. T.
Higgins should be 5'8", 170 pounds. He's a speedster.
Yeah. The name T.
Higgins screams to me, speedster in the slot. You forget that he's like a monster and still fast.
And I also didn't like the Jamar Chase is wearing black cleats with the all white unis. I thought that looks slow.
Tyler Boyd looked a lot faster just by having the white cleats on like that's, that's one of those ones that when you do the custom uniform in Madden, you always go white socks, white cleats, like everything the same.

So you just look lightning fast.

I did like the white helmets a lot.

There was a great uniform matchup for Thursday night.

I feel like if this was on a Sunday, it's trash.

If it's a Sunday, it's candy ass.

This is a perfect uniform matchup for Thursday night.

That's when we get all the weird uniforms out there.

You'll remember the mustard yellow Jacksonville Jaguars uniforms. That's also when we had like the Bills Jets colorblind bowl.
Yep. Where no one could tell the difference.
That to me is like, that's meant for Thursday nights. You keep that on a Thursday night in September or October.
And then you roll out the real jerseys later on. Now, if the Dolphins wear these uniforms, once the weather below, I'd say, 50 degrees.
Yeah, they're fucked. Then they're candy-ass losers.
They're completely fucked. But you can wear this right now.
Yeah, and if the Bengals wear those white uniforms in snow, holy shit. That would be illegal probably, right? That would be.
It would have to be. But if it isn't, they should do it.
They should absolutely do it. Because that would be very difficult to defend.
And watch. They're basically wearing camouflage.
And watch. I think I would hate watching it, but I would bet the shit out of the Bengals.
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
So, yeah, the Bengals, I mean, it feels like – I don't even know who they have up next. The only other note I had about the uniforms is that – Matt Ravens Sunday night.
Oh. Okay.
Okay. Okay, so that will actually be their big test of, like, are they back? Because if they can win that game in Baltimore, be 3-2, you're like, okay, look, the Bengals, they're there now.
Because I feel like, wouldn't you say that through four weeks, the Bengals have had, they're at that step below tier in the AFC. Where it's like, I still think that it's very early in the season.
They could obviously put it all back together because they have all the talent. It's just like they haven't been playing football where you're like, oh, they're out humming right from the start.
I think they're kind of in the same position they were last year. Oh, yeah.
Which is like they're an above-average team. They could get hot.
They've got a great quarterback. They've got maybe the best receivers in the NFL.
No, definitively. Definitively.
Number one, the best receivers in the NFL. Don't ask us who numbers two and three are.
And if they just stay healthy. Yeah.
I think they were like the healthiest team last year.

Yeah.

So if they can just maintain their roster right now,

not have any devastating injuries,

hopefully get the offensive line to continue to gel,

then yeah, they could be good at the end.

Yeah, they get hot.

But yeah, the other only note that I had about these uniforms is

I don't believe that the Bengals can run the football in these uniforms. And likewise, I don't think that the Dolphins can run the football in these uniforms.
Yeah. This is like a take a shot over the top game.
Unless there's snow. Unless there's snow.
They could absolutely run the ball in snow. In which case, because they get lost.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. They, yeah, I mean, it was a good game, obviously, other than the Tua.
Unders in primetime are now just, I think it's every primetime game.

It's a wagon.

Except for the fucking Monday night.

Try to get on it.

What?

Oh, yeah, Monday night.

Wait, Monday didn't go over.

I thought it was 39 and a half.

No, it was 38 and a half.

Oh.

It was started as 39 and a half.

It went down to 38 and a half.

Okay, yeah.

So that was except for Monday night.

And that was the most under game of all time. Yeah, it was.
Judge 61, we want to talk about it real quick. We have Frankie Lasagna on.
So feels like now it's in tragedy era. Yeah, yeah.
And he's going to get walked a shitload. So it was cool.
Who would walk him, though? Why walk him? Why? Because a pitcher doesn't want to be the guy that gives it up to him. That's lame.
Who wants to go down in history? As a Yankees hater, I'll say that's lame.

Who wants to go down in history as the guy that gave up the, what,

sixth most home run of all time?

Now, I'm starting to now go back.

Like, I agree that I've always agreed it's kind of stupid.

It's been very selfish for a bet reason.

But I'm now, like, the amount of people who have to point out

every time he hits a home run being like, oh, now he's six. It's like, dude, he's having an insane season.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's just say, and he also bet on himself this year.
So it's not just the home runs that he's hitting. He's going to get the triple crown.
He might get the quadruple crown. Is he getting the triple crown? I don't know what the fourth is.
I think so. Is his average there? I don't think so.
I think he's like tied for first. They're very close very close.
Yeah, I think it is. I'm looking.
Yeah, give us the whole triple crown. Listen, my fantasy baseball team's doing pretty well.
I've been staying up to date on my stats. Miggy got it a few years ago.
Remember that? Yeah. So, yes, I agree.
He's having a fantastic season regardless of how many more runs he has. But you know what I mean? We've now gone all the way backwards where it's like, who cares? Let's just pretend that we're not covering it.
He's just having an insane season. Yeah, he's having a great year.
Sorry, so Luis Soraya of the Twins is at 315. Judge is at 313, so it's a coin flip.
Okay. Yeah, I mean, how many? With eight games? Yeah, it's definitely more than enough.
It's possible. It's possible.
Go either way. Yeah, I guess if one of them...
If you have one game where you go like four for five. 315, 330.
You'd probably go, yeah. Yeah, and if he goes...
He's got way more RBI. That drops him.
RBI, yes, 130, and Jose Ramirez has 119, so he's clear. Okay, yeah, so he's got that.
Alonso's 131, but AL only. Yeah.
Okay. Anything else? Yeah.
Yeah. With the judge thing.
I just want to give a shout out because we haven't really talked about the impact. Stanton hits behind him, right? Yeah.
Well, kind of. He's hits.
They've been batting judge first and Stanton fifth. Okay.
But Stanton sometimes hits behind him. No one's given Stanton any credit for this, though.
Because I feel like, you know, going back to Roger Maris, he had Mickey Mantle hitting behind him. That's why he got all those pitches to hit.
They put together a good lineup around Judge, too. Yeah, yeah.
Did they put him – how long has he been batting first? Has it been because he wants to get more bats? I think that's part of it. He definitely hasn't been the whole season, but recently.
But the last, like, three weeks, I feel like he's always batting first. I think it's – Which I kind of like.
And now that the division's clenched. Yeah, they're like, let's get this guy his home runs.
Let's make sure he gets the maximum. He's hitting it tonight, by the way.
Oh, because you're going to be there. Yeah, he's hitting it.
Okay. 62.
Are you in the outfield? You're calling the shot? No. Are you not in the outfield? I want to get hurt.
Oh, my God. Jay, I'm getting out of the joke.
No, I don't think that was a joke. There was some truth in that joke.
There was some truth in that joke. We got a lot of truths and jokes today.
We actually should do a preview because we're going to kick it back to ourselves in the studio. Very contentious.
I think Hank and I are good now. But you're going to hear when things got hot in the studio.
We have finally decided the bet. So that's good.
But, yeah, things got hot. The good thing is with this podcast is we've been doing it for so long that things can get very hot.
And then they just cool off right away because we've just been with each other for fucking every day for seven years. It's a quick snap.
But tune in. It was fun.
And then we have Frank Lasagna and Billy Eichner great football weekend coming up great college slate great NFL slate and yeah let's kick it to ourselves in studio rated T for team my name is Paul Heyman special counsel to Roman Reigns and the Bloodlines wise man step out of the ropes and onto the island in wwe 2k25 an epic wwe themed world ruled by the one and only roman reigns the return of promos plus intergender matches my gm goes multiplayer and more wwe 2k25 available now get the part of my cheesesteak today. Okay, week four.
Picks, preview, and we have decided on the punishment. We heard the feedback.
They're like, this is stupid. If you keep doing picks with no punishment.
So the punishment is this. The loser of the picks, the year-long picks competition competition and the second place person will have to be going will be basically locked in a bowling alley inside the bowling alley they have to bowl a perfect game to get out of the bowling alley the only catch being every time they eat a hot dog if you're the last place person it counts as five pins off your score if you the last place person, it counts as five pins off your score.
If you're the second place person, it counts as 10 pins off your score. So if you eat, let's say you're the last place person, you eat 10 hot dogs, you now have to bowl a 250 to count as a perfect game.
I have a question, Big Cat. Yes.
That sounds impossible. It does.
Well, it's supposed to be hard. That wasn't a question.
That was just a statement of fact. My question is, how long are the days, Big Cat? Are they going to be locked in there for 24 hours a day? Good question.
No, we have decided that, what did we say, 10-hour days? 10-hour days. Let's do an even 12.
Let's make it an even 12-hour days. Okay, 12-hour days.
So if you're in there- I'm going to really regret that when it's me doing them. I can tell already, like, what the fuck did you just do to yourself, Pia? Yeah, so you have to be in there for 12 hours.
Then you can leave and go home. And your hot dogs do count for the next day.
So it could be last place person has to be in there for three, four days if they suck at bowling and eating. I think we all suck at bowling.
I'm very bad at bowling. Go ahead, Hank.
You're pretty good at bowling, Big Cat. I don't think so.
I think the best I've ever scored is like a 160, and that was the best score I got. If I break 100, I'll be happy because I don't really bowl.
I just don't do it. I was a candle pin guy growing up, and then I learned that they don't exist anywhere outside of Massachusetts.
Yeah, candle pin, it's just like those are the tiny little ones with a small ball, right? Yeah. Is that harder?

I don't know.

That's all I ever did, and then I grew up, and they're not out there anymore. I think bowling is just hard in general, but I do think that if you bowl for enough times,

you do get better as you bowl.

My key in bowling, I've found, like in so many other things that I try to do,

is to have the exact right amount of beers as I'm doing it.

Yeah.

So you get to the place where you're not drunk, but you're buzzed,

and you're just like you're not overthinking anything.

You've got the smooth coordination.

I don doing it. Yeah.
So you get to the place where you're not drunk, but you're buzzed and you're just like, you're not overthinking anything. You got the smooth coordination.
I just have to maintain that kind of like 0.07 blood alcohol content ratio. Should we add Coors Light equals one pin off? I like that.
Yeah, I do. I do like that.
So one Coors Light equals one pin off. Now we're cooking.
Now Billy's just going to drink 300 beers. And leave.
I was concerned about this, but now I'm ready. I mean, you've got to find that level, though, because if you get too drunk, you're not going to be able to bowl well enough.
Now, I do have a question myself. You know, we say 12-hour days.
What if you never get it? You will. Eventually, you'll eat enough hot dogs.
Like, if you don't, that's the whole point.

So, let's just say you suck so bad at bowling, and the best you've ever bowled is 100.

Okay?

You go in Monday, you eat, let's just say, 10 hot dogs.

Now you have to bowl 250.

You go in Tuesday, eat another 10 hot dogs.

Now you have to bowl 200.

You go in Wednesday, another 10 hot dogs.

You go in Thursday, another 10 hot dogs. Now you have to just bowl.
You go in Wednesday, another 10 hot dogs. Go in Thursday, another 10 hot dogs.
Now, you have to just bowl a hundred, and you should be able to get out. So, it's eventually going to end, but it will also possibly take a long time, and we will stream the thing for the AWLs.
It will become mind-numbingly boring, and tedious, and terrible for the loser of this competition, and second place, but second place will actually get the benefit of being able to leave earlier and having it be like over for them. I think second place should have 10 hour days.
Yeah, that's fine. And last place should have 12.
I would assume it's the second place person can probably get out in one day. If they just eat like 14 hot dogs, they have to bowl 160.
The good news is if you're not a great bowler and you just eat a ton of hot dogs, you'll probably have a heart attack from all the sodium and die. So you probably won't be in there for longer than a week anyways, regardless of what you're bowling.
That is a lot of hot dogs, but it's 12 hours. You don't think you can eat 14? That's not...
We're on different wavelengths when it comes to food. I don't think that 14 hot dogs over 12 is like an insane amount.
It's really not. I didn't say it's a lot.
You ate 24 over 24 hours, right? Yeah. Yes, when we did the live stream.
But that was some with no buns. Can we do bumpers on day three? Oh, we have to do buns too? Oh, yeah.
It's a hot dog. Can we do what, Billy? Can we like day three, can we do bumpers? Just like to...
No. No.
No. Stop.
We're not adding any more. We're not adding any more qualifiers.
One more. Okay.
Go ahead. This is going to be bad.
No, go ahead. Just say it.
Say it. No, thanks, Jeff.
If you convert a 7-10 split, you're out. No.
No. None of us are going to get at 7-10.
No, that's it. How about this? If you convert a 7-10 split, we'll see.
One pin. Yeah, we'll take one pin off.
Do you guys understand how hard it is?

What does that mean?

I did that at Wii Bowling like every day.

Yeah.

No.

7-10 is the back row, the two corner ones, getting them together. If you get a 7-10 split, we'll make you a t-shirt that says like, I converted a 7-10

split and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Yeah, I converted a 7-10 split and I still only scored 1-0-7 on my fourth day of bowling

in the Pardon My Take Bowling Challenge. Okay, so there it is.
It sucks for the loser, for sure. It sucks for second place.
Not as bad, but it definitely sucks, and I think people will have fun watching it, especially if it's like a three-day affair. It's like, got to go back to the fucking bowling mines and try to complete this challenge.
It's been a while since I've been in a bowling alley, too.

I miss the smell.

The last time I was in a bowling alley, I want to say, was the Final Four in Minneapolis.

Yeah, I found it.

Fact check, not true.

Oh, did we go to the other one?

Because the last time we were in a bowling alley was in Dan Bilzerian's house.

That was...

He has a bowling alley in his foyer. Okay, yeah, maybe.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
I forgot that he does. That guy has everything.
He does. We didn't bowl, though.
Except for someone who truly loves him. You tweeted out a score when we went for the Final Four, and it's not looking good for me and Billy.
What was my score? Billy got a 73. No, that was from Ohio.
That was way long ago. That was in Sandus.
Oh, that was the, yeah. Okay, still, though, I don't think, I mean, that's, I bowled that time, then I bowled in the Final Four.
Billy got a 73. PFT got a 110.
I got a 94. Big Hat got a 169.
Hmm. Hmm.
Oh, and you were trying. Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, okay. Interesting.
No. That was, what, you think I'm a good bowler? No, but like I remember that day.
You are. You're definitely a solid bowler.
I don't think I'm a very good bowler. All right, so Hank, why don't you pick a judgment? Let's start all over from square one.
No, we're going to do this punishment. I don't probably be a good bowler.
You are a good bowler. That's not like I'm not complaining.
I'm not making throwing'm not making... I'm playing both sides of this situation.

I'm just stating a fact.

I'm so sick of this punishment.

In my experience with you, you are the best bowler that I've played with.

Jake is better.

Number one, I think that this is a fair punishment, and we'll go ahead and we'll follow through

on this punishment.

But number two, Big Cat is definitely the best bowler in this room.

Jake just said his average.

I think my best is like 150.

Okay. Max, what's yours? I rock at bowling.
I'm a fucking beast. So there you go.
I'm just sick of deciding a punishment. I like this punishment.
I like this punishment too. I'm just putting words in my mouth.
How about Hank can have a different punishment? Sure. Great.
I don't care. No.
That works for me. Okay.
Hank, any last words? No. This is last words no this is gonna be awesome i mean i'm gonna win so i'm not really worried about it so then yeah i mean so all the complaining was for not it's a very when did i complain when did i complain when did i complain you're fat as fuck i need more hot dogs than me you're a better bowler than me those are both facts that is not a complaint that is a fact okay factor fiction fact.
Yeah, we were deciding the punishment. He's not that complaint.
That is a fact. Okay.
Fact or fiction. Fact.
Fact.

Yeah.

We were deciding the punishment.

Like if we did.

He's not that fat.

Oh, go ahead.

Go ahead.

No, it's like if we were doing like.

You already called me fat as fuck.

So go ahead.

Go off.

All gloves are off.

No, it's fine.

It's fine.

What?

Go ahead.

I'm excited.

No, go ahead.

Just let it fly.

You're clearly mad.

So let it fly. I'm just mad when you're saying I'm complaining when all I'm just pointing out is like.

Let it go.

There's a difference between you eating and me eating and you're a better bowl than me. So let it go.
I'm not complaining. I'm just, again, fact or fiction, fact.
Wait, wait. It's going to rock when Hank finishes in last place and Big Cat finishes in second, and Big Cat gets out of there in like six hours.
I will do any punishment Hank wants to give me because it's clearly not fair for him. So I'm down for that.
You are creating narratives out of the sky. You also might see it on PMTV, but Hank came in and was on a conference call, and he was like, you're fat.
You're going to be able to eat so many more hot dogs. And so I tried to change the punishment to help him, and I was talking directly to him for three minutes, and then he took his headphones out.
He goes, what did you say? I'm on a call. And I'm on a call and i was like i said i was on a call before you came in but i guess it's been a long it's a long process so all right let's let's cut it off at the hip here we've said our piece yeah i'm excited punishment is that i'm fat as i'm excited too big cat's fat fat as fuck and the best bowler in the world really fat yep fat as fuck all right that was obese i just you know you're not you called me fat as fuck you're saying i'm complaining i'm surprised that you made it into work today i i barely i need to get a scooter again i thought you had to get one of those mercedes vans yeah the big sliding doors fat as fuck yes yes really fat yeah so fat morbly.
Fat as fuck. Okay.
Update your will.

Listen, dude, I'm going to die any minute.

So fucking fat.

Actually, Hank, you're sick.

You probably shouldn't have come into work.

Yeah, that too.

Because given Big Cat's BMI, you probably will kill him.

I'm high risk, Hank.

Why would you do that?

All right.

Why would you come into work?

You said I was getting me sick.

I got triggered.

I don't know.

I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not.

Okay. All right.
Let's get to the fix. All right.
We're going to do it in order now. Let's see if Meme said it.
He did. Okay.
Here we go. We're going to do this in order.
Do you want standings first? Sure. Give us the standings.
All right. Congratulations, PFT.
4-0. Thank you, Jake.
Now tied for first with Big Cat at 6-6, Hank 5-7, Max 4-8, me and Billy 3-9. Okay.
Here we go. So we're gonna do it in order now so there's a little bit uh it makes a little more sense when we're doing the whole uh slate so we're gonna start chronologically the london game is first i will sit memes sent me everyone sent their picks to memes we'll talk about every game this way and then we will go through all the picks so memes sent me um all the picks vikings at saints in london uh i think this might be andy dalton it could be andy dalton because james i feel like a a cross continent trip or a bi-continent trip with james winston's four injured vertebrae in his back is probably not the best thing for it correct um so it could could be Andy Dalton.
I feel like he's built for London, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the last time Kirk Cousins and Andy Dalton played each other in London, I think it was a tie. I would love to see another tie over there.
I might be making that up, but I'm pretty sure it was the Washington R-words against the Cincinnati Bengals. That's sticking out in my mind my mind for some reason I also feel like Kirk Cousins if we're looking at the Kirk Cousins life cycle I've mulled this over in my head for a few days right now to figure out where we're at with an early game in London because it's kind of like an inverse primetime game yep I think it's just so early that the ratings will be so low that I kind of want to bet on Kirk in this game.
2016 tie. In London? Okay.
So you want to bet on Kirk, but you didn't pick it. I did not, but that's my bonus one.
Yeah, so the picks on this one, Jake and Hank both have the under. They're taking the under.
A little stat for you. Last five seasons, I think we've talked about it on this show, but the Saints in October, for some reason, are just really good.
So they've covered 72.2% of their games in October. I don't know if that's a Sean Payton stat, a Drew Brees stat.
Whatever it may be, they're good in October. Also, Justin Jefferson, nine catches, 62 yards, since Aaron Rodgers said he was the best player in the NFL.
Interesting. So I was thinking about the Lunder on this one, too.
But I feel like the true Lunder is going to be the Jaguars game. Yeah.
When I think Lunder, I think. When the Jaguars go to London.
Yes. Yes.
I think that's. And that's, I think, on October 30th this year.
Sounds great. So it's the last one.
Perfect. Okay.
Next up, Browns-Falcons. This game is in Atlanta.
I'm looking right now. I have the over 48, and PFT, you have the Falcons, plus one and a half.
Those are the picks on these games, on this game. You want to talk about why you like the Falcons? I like the vibes on Will Compton getting a workout.
They're 1-0 since they announced that his workout was coming up in like a month. So I'm going to ride the hot hand on that one.
I also just like the Falcons at home. I have kind of a hot take on the Falcons.
I actually don't think they're that bad. Their defense is bad.
Their offense is fun. Their offense is fun, so they're not that bad.
Right. If one of your units is fun, people will be like, oh, they got something.
Yeah, I've got a new tier for the Falcons in your power range. It's just they're not that bad.
Right. If one of your units is fun, people will be like, oh, they got something.
Yeah, I've got a new tier for the Falcons in your power range. They're not that bad.
Yeah. They're not as bad as you think they are because their offense, when they do get the ball to their playmakers, they're actually scoring a shitload of points.
Yeah, they're frisky and fun is I think my exact ranking for them. I took the over in this game, and this is one of those like, hey, are you just walking into a trap? But the Browns and the Falcons, this season so far, it's been like 65% unders, right? The Browns and the Falcons are both 3-0 to the over.
They've gone over in every single one of their games. Maybe I'm walking into the trap.
No Myles Garrett? Probably not. That car looked bad.
It did look bad. It looked really bad.
What's the name of this? Oh yeah. Yeah.
Keep him away from Mercedes Benz. Yes.
Mercedes Benz domes. I think he was driving a Porsche, but still it plays the butthole dome.
Yes. Um, also Nick Chubb, could he do 2000 yards this year? Dude, I think Nick Chubb is probably, he might be my favorite running back in the NFL.
He's maybe not the best overall. He's definitely top five, but I think he's my favorite to watch.
We haven't had a 2,000-yard rusher since Adrian Peterson in 2012. It would be crazy if Nick Chubb did it while also sharing carries with Kareem Hunt.
It's just going to get – I'm going to die. I'm going to die.
You know that I probably have asthma and diabetes, and he's just coughing in all of our faces. Did you get boosted? I'm fat as fuck.
No, they couldn't. I was too fat to get it.
That's crazy. They're like, this will probably kill you.
Dick Chubb has 341 rushing yards so far. So obviously he's not on pace, but I was just thinking about it.
Wouldn't it be fun if we had a 2,000 yard rusher? It would be very fun. I like that.
It would be fun. So who have we had recently? It's been Adrian Peterson.
It was Chris Johnson. And then Jamal Lewis and Terrell Davis.
That's it. Yeah.
And then obviously before that, Barry Sanders, OJ, and Eric Dickerson, I believe, is the full list. So not a lot.
Adrian Peterson ruined the 2,000 yards because he did it right after he was coming off an ACL surgery. So everybody else, from that point, if you've got an ACL injury, it's like, it's not that bad.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay, next game up, the Commanders at Cowboys.
Commanders at Cowboys. PFT, I'll let you just talk about it however you want to talk about it.
Cowboys are minus 3.5. The over-under is 41.5.
Let me tell you if anyone has picks on these. Billy has the under in this game game and that's the only one we've got in this game actually it's the over you have the over yeah okay you have the over i read it wrong you're right you have the over in this game 41 and a half uh yeah all i really want to say about this is um i went back i looked at the tape from last week uh 24 8 against the eagles the commanders they only lost one quarter.
So as we know that it's a game of quarters, much like the NBA. Yep.
And they lost the second quarter 24-0. That's tough to come back from.
They won the rest of the quarters cumulatively 8-0. So are the Commanders really that bad? Sounds like they beat the Eagles three times out of four to me But, no, they stink.
They actually do stink. They're a bad football team.
They're depressing to watch. And I'm just saying to myself, you know what? They lost so badly last week.
The Cowboys won a game that people thought that maybe they couldn't win last week. I'm going to just bet on the commanders to cover the spread regardless.
The thing that makes me about the Commanders is Carson Wentz has been sacked 14 times in the last two games, and the Cowboys are pretty good at rushing the passer. Yeah.
No, it feels like... Micah Parsons might kill him.
Yeah, that feels like he's going to be running for his life and making... And he didn't throw an interception last week.
So he statistically do. The fumbles were...
The fumbles and the sacks were equivalent to several interceptions. Yes.
Billy, so why do you like the under? The over. The over, sorry.
So just this week I'm going total gut and just reacting and gambling on just like the first thought in my head, and Cooper Rush is pretty electric, so he's going to score a lot of points. Okay.
I like that. Just get all up in those guts.
Cooper Rush. Yeah, just all gutty.
Nice. Okay, next game, Titans-Colts.
Oh, sorry, Seahawks-Lions. seahawks lions seahawks lions the lions are i think four and a half point favorites which is kind of crazy to say uh four point favorites over under is 48 in this game uh let's see who has this game i'll do a better job last week next week i meme sent it back to me like two seconds before we started.
Jake and PFT both have the Lions, minus four. Who? Either of you want to state your case? Yeah, obviously a heartbreaking loss for the Lions last week against Minnesota, but we've seen sparks of them being a very good playoff contender, and I think this is a favorable matchup.
I think the Seahawks are very bad. Yeah, I think the Lions have found themselves in uncharted waters for Detroit fans out there, which is if you win this game, like you're supposed to, this is a game that you have to win because you're supposed to win it at home, which you've really never gone into a game with expectations, at least in recent history.
And I do think that if the Lions, if they win and they cover, which I think they will, then we need to start saying, like, the Detroit Lions, let's get some playoff buzz going for them. Yes.
I have the Seahawks in this game as well. Max has the Seahawks.
Why do you like the Seahawks, Max? The really good thing about the Lions this year has been their offense and DeAndre Swift and Amon Ross St. Brown have basically been the reason of that offense.
Jared Goff. Jared Goff as well, but Swift and St.
Brown are both hurt. So I don't know what that offense is going to look like without those two guys.
Just all Jared Goff. My entire Seahawks strategy is just they will stick in everyone's head from Monday night week one against the Broncos and just remember to yourself, that's not who they are.
They actually stink. It's very similar to my strategy with the Jets.
Everyone remembers the incredible comeback with the Browns and be like, no, think about it the other way. If Nick Chubb had gone down, the Jets would have lost every single game this season by two touchdowns or more.
Yeah, just think of that Monday night game and remember the fact that the Broncos fumbled the ball twice, I think, on the one-yard line. And Nathaniel Hackett.
And Nathaniel Hackett just pooped, just diarrhea came out of his ear at the end of the game. Yes, yes, and Nathaniel Hackett was Nathaniel Hackett.
Okay, next up, Titans at Colts. Titans at Colts.
This game, Colts are minus 3.5, over-under is 43. This is one of those games I hope I don't see often on Red Zone.
It's just boring. Why? Yeah.
I know they have to play each other. It's not really like loser leaves town.
It's the opposite of that. It's like winner returns from exile.
Like the winner of this game, I think, could actually be a favorite to win that division. Yes.
Down the road, even though they both are kind of boring and stupid. Yeah, so no one has this game, which kind of speaks to this game.
It's a coin flip. I like the Colts, I think.
I think, because everybody wrote them off. They probably got some of them.
If you beat the Chiefs, you probably go into the next week saying to yourself, we can literally beat anyone. Is the roof going to be open? Jay, can you get a forecast for us? You don't know just yet.
I've got tweet alerts on for Jim Irsay, and I'm a fucking warrior because even in the offseason, I just don't leave them on. 71 and sunny.
So the roof will probably be open. So I just get tweet alerts every single time Jim Irsay tweets, 12 months a year, just so that I can be on top of these.
I don't want to forget a week during football season. It really only applies to like six weeks.
It's seven, yeah. Yeah, like mid-October, it's just the roof is closed.
Yeah, and into November, roof's. But I don't want to miss those weeks, so I leave them on year-round.
This year, he made the announcement on Sunday. I don't like that.
Jim, bring it back, please, to earlier in the week. But I think it's more so like you don't want to give away the game plan to your opponent.
And we saw last week it ended up working in their favor. Teams start wearing visors.
Yeah, you never know. They can change up their equipment.
Okay, another game that sucks, the Bears or Giants. This game sucks.
Let's see. No one has this game as well.
It speaks to these games when no one's betting on these games. If Justin Fields, if every game gets canceled except the Bears and the Giants on Sunday and Justin Fields has 72 pass completions, he will be in first place for pass completions in the NFL.
That's incredible. That's pretty good, right? I mean, there's a hurricane coming.
It could happen. Yeah.
So he just needs to complete 72 passes on Sunday. Yeah.
And no one else completes a single pass. That could happen.
You never know. I'm also on the watch for when Roger Goodell is going to have to make that phone call to Brian Dable still about the hat.
Yeah. Like the FDNY hat.
No one's going to get mad at you for wearing an FDNY hat, but Roger Goodell eventually is, and he's dreading the day he has to make that call where he's like, hey, Brian, I know you're kind of new here, and we definitely support the fire department, and we love those guys, first responders. But New Era pays us a fuckload of money to wear their hats, so could you stop wearing the fucking hat? Don't tell anyone we had this conversation.
It's a rock and a hard place. It's going to happen.
Yes, yes. Okay, also the Giants have seven straight covers on short weeks.
I don't know if that even matters with a new coach but that's just one of those weird anomaly stats that you throw out there it's i love the stats where you can just look we have so the internet is so deep you can just find any stat to back up your bet and i i suggest doing it that way if you're wrong you can just throw that in people's faces and be like well the numbers I bet it because of this. Okay, next up.
This one actually is one of the premier games on Sunday. Jaguars-Eagles.
So we got a lot of action in this game. Myself, Max, and Billy all taking the Eagles.
And PFT has the under. And then Hank has the over.
Oh, and Jake has the Jaguars, so we all bet this game. Nice.
We all have this game. So I don't know which angle we want to start with.
Hank, what did you have? You had the over? I got the over. Two dynamic quarterbacks.
A lot of points. Okay.
Nice. Fun game to watch.
Marquee matchup will have the sound on. That was kind of the basis of the over.
It's like's like sound will be on we'll be watching it i want points yeah and then pfc you had uh the under the under doug peterson revenge game i think uh the eagles defense is going to eat yes the jaguars offense like yeah trevor lawrence looks good but especially in week one when there was a lot of pressure that got put on them their tight ends can't block good pass rushers so i feel like the eagles excel at getting to the quarterback just based on what we saw last week alone but they're they're a very good defensive team so i think they're gonna to borrow a phrase from steven shea they're gonna heat up the quarterback a little bit this weekend trevor lawrence will be heated up um i do have a bet also on aj brownJ. Brown is having a baby or his wife or girlfriend or whoever it is.

He's going to be a dad.

So we're doing the baby bump.

The part of my take baby bump is coming out on the Barstool Sportsbook where we're going to boost that plus the Eagles to win.

So, yes, definitely betting on that this weekend.

Also, I've got a scandal that's brewing right now in Jacksonville.

Trevor Lawrence, he won the first Offensive Player of the Week since 2010 for the Jaguars when it was David Garrard. That was the last time they won it.
So he obviously had a great week last week. The MVP award for the week went to Lamar Jackson.
That's fine. Lamar Jackson had a great week, right? They put the vote out.
Trevor Lawrence had 90% of the vote. This is according to BigCatCountry.com.
Check them out. They're a one-stop shop for Jaguars News.
90% of the vote went to Trevor Lawrence. Nickelodeon deleted the tweet and then just gave the award to Lamar Jackson.
It's a scandal. It's a scandal going on.
That's all I'm saying is stop the steal. If Jack Del Rio was still in Jacksonville, this would go down totally differently, but it's fucked up justice for Trevor Lawrence.
Okay. That is a big scandal.
We need justice for Trevor Lawrence. I'm taking the Eagles here just because I think everyone, I like the Jaguars, nice team, but like put it in all into perspective.
They beat a beat up Colts team that they always beat in jacksonville and then they beat up a very beat up uh chargers team that have to fly all the way across the country and play an eagles team that's rolling i think it's going to be a little market correction of like the jags are good they're not on this level uh jake do you want to say anything for your jaguars bet you just like like them? They're playing frisky? Yeah, Doug Peterson coming back.

That's it.

That's it.

That's a say no more.

Say no more.

Say no more.

Okay, next up.

I also feel like just most of these games, I want to bet the unders on

because the hurricane is going to affect so many different stadiums.

So it's going to be wet as shit there.

Yes, yes.

It's going to be, yeah, like the Bills-Ravens game.

I want to bet the over so bad, but I figure it's going to be Hurricane City. Next up, Jets at Steelers.
Billy as first reported by Billy Football. Zach Wilson is starting.
He's back. How are you feeling? We're really going to turn over a new leaf with this Jets team.
I think one out of three Flacco getting us to add to the record. I think now we're going to start looking at the Jets,

what they really are and what they really will perform as. So, you know,

onward and upward. Okay.
So you're saying, you're basically, you're saying it can't be worse.

Yeah. Now, would you say that the Joe Flacco experience was a success or a failure?

I'd say, you know, Flacco, it was a good, uh, going away party for Flacco. I mean, one in three.

Yeah, I mean, I think that's just the cherry on top of his career. I don't know if he's going to sign him back up, but he just wants to be a backup, and he had to play a bigger role.
So I'm very excited to see Zach Wilson come back in. Zach Wilson, I think, has finally had enough time that now we can take him seriously and take his performances at their face value.
How many games do you think Zach Wilson will play the rest of the season? All of them, hopefully. All of them, hopefully.
Okay, the way you said that was perfect. We're probably going to bench him for the last two games when we make the playoffs.
You just want to make sure he's healthy for them.

Yes.

Billy, if you wanted to go to that game, Jets-Steelers, because you are a Jets fan.

Yes.

Can you do it on game time?

Yes, you can.

Okay.

And that's a hot ticket, but thanks to game time, you can get it for $78.

Nice.

Wow.

That's pretty good.

And maybe you see Kenny Pickett coming in.

It feels like the Mitch train is slowing down. You think they're're gonna put him in like in the middle of a game though no probably not probably not it's just i'm sad for mitch i am i'm very sad he should have stayed the backup i saw a tweet earlier that had a you know i'm sure it was completely unbiased but it was just a compilation of good throws he had okay that mitch Mitch had? Yeah.
Who tweeted it? I don't know. It was just some Steelers person.
It was like Mitch. But it was dropped catches.
Yeah, there have been a few. It was the all 22.
And I was like, if you look at that video, it's like Mitch is balling. I like those.
I like picking out the selective great throws that were dropped. I do think that it might be a little bit bigger of a problem than just Mitch.
I think it might be the offensive line. It might be offensive coordinator.
Yeah, exactly. The entire personality behind the Seelers offense.
It's painful to watch. I think they have the most boring offense in the league right now, actually.
Yeah, yeah. They have some weapons.
They have a lot of weapons. Next up, Bills Ravens.
Shockingly, none of us picked this game. Huh.
You did? This memes is – we'll clean this up. I don't see it on memes' list.
But you have – what do you have, Jake? Over 51. Over 51.
I took the bait. You took the bait.
Because how could you not? It's the Bills and the Ravens. Lamar and Josh Allen.
I see it. Oh, PFT does as well.
Over 51. Okay.

So you guys both.

I'm just nervous about weather.

That's all I'm nervous about.

No, I just got baited.

I got baited.

Yeah, you take the bait.

And also, I think wind's not real when Josh Allen's playing in it.

That's true.

Josh Allen can throw a ball through a tornado.

And the Ravens defense sucks.

Yeah, the Ravens defense, they're really, really bad.

For the first time in my life, I'm considering using the word fraud. I think this Ravens team might be fraudulent.
Welcome to 2019, me. Yeah.
Yeah, you went down that road. I was right.
I was proved very right. I think their defense is just that bad.
See, I actually don't know. I think they have to win, and people have to hype them up before they can be fraud alert.
Because I think people know their. But their fraud would fraud would imply that people think their defense is better than it is.
I think I'm using the fraud word because I think before the season started, people were saying this Ravens team could make the Super Bowl. Oh, OK.
I heard that from a lot of talking. Yeah.
Yeah. You know how I feel about the talking heads.
OK. And so I guess maybe I'm saying they're frauds and they don't watch the tape if they think that this defense is good enough to get them got it but I have noticed one thing about the Ravens I think and I don't think this is just me being weird about it their jerseys are brighter this year they're purple jerseys Jake can we get a Pantone check at some point to check the the purple jerseys that the Ravens are wearing this year as opposed to what they've done in the past.

I think it's actually a completely different purple.

Hmm.

Interesting.

These are the hard-hitting numbers that we've got to get behind.

I made a note of that earlier, but I don't think I'm just making this up.

Yeah, okay.

I'm excited for this game.

This is going to be a great game.

Very, very excited.

Next up, we have a game that no one's excited for,

the Chargers and the Texans. Max took the under here 44 and a half max what do you want to say about that just the game's gonna suck so just take it yeah shitty game chargers are banged up texans stink under i like just being like i don't want to watch this game so i'm taking the under that's a that's a fair anytime someone uses that as their uh defense of a pick it's a completely fair thing to do in my opinion i do too i think like what hank said about that's the game that's going to have the sound on i want points totally reasonable yeah absolutely um okay yeah i don't i feel like i feel like the chargers are gonna kill the texans it's one of those situations where everyone's like oh the chargers they're they're expecting what happened last week with the injured chargers team to happen this week but the texans are probably really that bad the texans at are that bad at their best are like an injured chargers team right they feel like they are that bad so um we got some real stinker games we have some there's like three or four really really good ones but the next one the panthers at the Cardinals at the Panthers, like, that's another one.
We're like, what's going to happen here? Who the fuck knows? Yeah. And Billy and I have the Cardinals.
I do like this uniform matchup sneakily. I feel like the Panthers blue is going up against the Cardinals, like white and red trim.
Yeah. I think that that will be visually pleasing to have on a television without sound on it.
I do think, though, that Matt Rule is as good as fired. It's actually sad to watch him go through the season knowing that he's not going to be there.
Remember, David Tamper said he was going to have patience. Yeah, he's going to have patience.
So that means he won't probably get fired in the month of October. Right, right, right.
He's going to get fired, though, very soon, shortly. Yeah.
Yeah. Billy, I don't even know why I took the Cardinals.
I was just like, I kept thinking about Kyler running around like a toddler with a phone, and I was just like, yeah, one point. Let's do it.
I think I actually took the Panthers on the pro football football show. That's one of those ones I was just like, yeah, maybe the Cardinals.
Sure. Just like Baker getting really, really angry for some reason and not playing well.
I do. As a gambler, I do like the games where I truly think it is a coin flip.
Like anyone who says they have a strong opinion either way is just lying because I feel like I have a better chance at that than doing research and trying to make an informed opinion about something. Are we counting this as a revenge game for Cliff Kingsbury or for Baker Mayfield? That's the important question because he left Texas Tech, right? I think it's for Baker, right? Because he didn't start him.
It's tough to keep track of all of Baker's revenge games because he has so many beefs at once. But I feel like this might be a legitimate one.
This is like Cliff Kingsbury almost took away his entire career when he was in college. So now I actually like the Panthers in this game now.
Okay. I mean, I'm not going to disagree.
Yeah. Even though I have the Cardinals.
That's how much of a coin flip it is. I feel like that's a good motivational.
Like sometimes Baker's revenge games are completely made up in his own mind. This one might be more legitimate.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
This one could have some credence to it, although he just came off that week one revenge game that didn't go so well for him that's true yeah um

okay next up patriots at packers brian hoyer time 0 and 11 in his last 11 starts uh the patriots

hank has them plus nine and a half i made a grave mistake but i'm sticking with it you're jumping

in that hole i'm jumping in that hole i thought it it was throwback week. Oh.
That's next week. Oh, that is a big, big mistake.
I realized that after I submitted the pick. But 0-11, water always finds his level.
He's not that bad. Yeah.
And it's 9-1. Is this Brian or is this Axel? And the Packers are not that good.
Oh think brian hoyer is absolutely that bad no without a doubt that no he has been in the league for so long exactly that's no that's no that's good he's good enough to stay in the league no no no yeah it gets to a point where it's like dude you're how old is he if you're in the league for that long and you're backing up tom brady it's you're just there because you're a guy that can hang out with Tom Brady.

Right.

He likes having you around, and he's not threatened by you.

Brian Hoyer, how old is he?

He was on 36.

36.

Yeah.

What season is it?

Fall.

He's about to be 37.

He's going to be 37 in two weeks.

That's old as shit.

That is old as shit.

Old as fuck.

Really old. Fat as fuck and old as fuck.
Yeah, probably going to die soon in two weeks. That's old as shit.
That is old as shit. Old as fuck.
Really old.

Fat as fuck and old as fuck.

Yeah, probably going to die soon.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

What about last year when the punishment was driving across country, and it really would

have sucked for me with two kids?

I didn't complain.

I didn't complain either.

Yeah, you did.

No, I didn't.

I made it.

Salient points.

I did call off the handle and call you fat as fuck. No, you complained, too.
That was a little bit aggressive. No, I didn't.
Yeah. No.
You did. You did.
No, I didn't. I made it.
Salient points. I did call off the handle and call you fat as fuck.
No, you complain, too. That was a little bit aggressive.
No, I didn't. Yeah.
You did. You did.
I have the tape. We'll check the tapes.
You said I think my best score is 150, and then I pulled a proof of you saying 160. You're like, oh, whatever.
Yeah. I'm not that good of a bowler.
I'm going to make an executive decision right now. We're not talking about the punishment anymore.
Okay, great. Great.
On behalf of the listeners. If we were going to talk about it, I would say how excited I am for it.

You would complain.

Next week on PMTV.

Next week on PMTV, you'll see the full thing.

You'll see Hank complaining.

Okay, Broncos at Raiders.

All right, so you're taking the Patriots here?

Yeah.

Okay.

The Packers aren't that good.

They're basically wearing a throwback jerseys.

Brian Hoyer is due for a win.

And someone had the honor in this game? No, they won't be in the Hungry Dog because I'm not putting the Patriot in anymore. Billy had the under.
Well, in the same thinking, I was like Buccaneers-Packers was going to go over last week. I was like, well, this is a game that for some reason I thought would go over, but I think it's probably going to go under because of the defenses and no Mac Jones.
Okay. I like the under in this game.
Even though the slate looks bad going into it, these are the weekends that sneak up on us. And the games, I can almost guarantee you there are going to be some awesome games.
Yeah, the only complaint I have is that we're starting the three Sunday afternoon games. That's stupid.
There should at least be four. Five would be the perfect number.
But three is just... Because if two of those games suck, you're just stuck.
One more thing. I forgot to add this in about the Commanders.
They're wearing their all-black uniforms for the first time ever. So I feel like that...
On the road? Yeah, that might be a boost. Okay.
That would have been a boost if it was a primetime game. Yeah, if it was under the lights.
It doesn't feel the same as much of a boost. Yeah, no, you're actually right.
That's a waste. If it's 1 o'clock, we're wearing black uniforms.
They could somehow, they're so bad, they screw up all black uniforms, which is the biggest cheat code in football. Yeah, that's why New Zealand wins all the time in rugby.
All right, Broncos, Raiders. Who's the better coach? I was thinking about this.
Is it Hackett? I think record-wise, yeah, percentage-wise. Yeah, but just in vibes.
I think it might be Hackett, who's been completely clowned his first three games. I think it's...
No, it's impossible to choose right now. See, the thing is with Hackett, I like Hackett as a person.
I think he's a nice guy, and I liked interviewing him, and I think that he's like a genuine – he's an easy person to root for. Josh McDaniels is an easy person to root against all the time.
So I want to say Hackett, but I don't know. I can't do – I can't make a decision on those.
It's the opposite of Sophie's choice. Shoot both of them.
Yeah. Did you see that Tyler Palumbas, who used to play for the Broncos,

I think he also played on the Lions, tweeted a thread about Josh McDaniels' stories.

I'll just share one or two of them.

He said, after trading away the young nucleus of our offense, including Jay Cutler,

Josh said to the entire team, fellas, don't worry about the QB situation.

I can turn a high school QB into an all pro

which he tried to do which he tried to do which he tried to do it didn't work

he said we had about 25 slogans painted on the walls God forbid you forget what the slogan was

above the door entering the cafeteria Josh would call players out in team meeting and ask what

each slogan said if you forgot a single word ass chewing so that's just great like a NFL head coach

just being like you need to memorize these slogans that's important it also makes me wonder what

Thank you. and said, if you forgot a single word, ass-chewing.
So that's just great. Like an NFL head coach just being like, you need to memorize these slogans.
That's important. It also makes me wonder what Bill Belichick would think about the stuff that his disciples do when they go somewhere else.
He would probably be like, that doesn't mean shit for winning football games. Right, right, exactly.
You're so stupid. How did you miss all these points I made over the years? Yeah, like when I was telling you that you had to do all that stuff for me and memorize these slogans, that was me testing you to see if you were smart enough to realize it doesn't make any sense.

Yes, yes.

Okay, so Broncos, Raiders, none of us have this.

The last one, Chiefs, Bucs.

So we got a lot of bets on this.

I have the under.

Max has the over.

Hank has the Chiefs.

Did I miss anyone's picks? I think I – again, I'll do it better next time. I got it right before.
I think I got everyone. This might be in Minnesota.
This might be in Minnesota. No, they just, breaking moves two seconds ago, just announced it will be in Tampa.
Okay. Ten minutes ago.
I feel like that's a roll of the dice right there. So this is also the return of Tom Brady past his bedtime.
So 2-8 against the spread when it's a night game, which I guess it would be 1-8 up until he played the Cowboys and beat them and covered. And that's as a buck? That's in his last 10.
And then his last 10 night games, the unders are 7- three so he just gets tired chiefs i like that that's good for me i do like the chiefs in that that's right i'm now a converted just primetime unders guy because it just like even if you lose if you lose the under on a primetime game you can at least say that was a fun game yeah whereas when it's a bad game and you always take the over in the primetime game like I have done my entire life, it just Sundays and Mondays and Thursdays just ends so poorly and so shittily. The whole Giselle thing has been back in the news recently.
I feel kind of... I don't need to know if quarterbacks are getting divorced.
Is that a controversial take? No. That feels like a pretty private thing that's going on in their personal lives.
You know who is getting divorced? Marjorie Taylor Greene? Yeah. No, Mackenzie Scott.
Both of them are, yeah. Yeah.
I was actually, Marjorie, if you're out there. Is Mackenzie Scott a boy or girl? That's Bezos' ex who married that science teacher.
Oh, she's already getting divorced? Yeah, so. She got a prenup? Yeah, who knows? This dude might get a bag.
Wow. That'd be sick.
That'd be the biggest. High school teacher.
About to hit her up. Yeah.
I'm about to hit up Marjorie Taylor Greene. MTG, sup? I know you're probably listening to the show right now.
Yeah. I just want to say, yeah, this devil will go down to Georgia.
You know what I'm saying? Nice. Nice.
Did you tweet her sup? You should. I'll tweet her sup right now.
now all right i thought about doing it this morning but then i was like big cat will bonk wait dibs on mckenzie i don't bonk you i already i already called i don't have the list i do um all right let's do our mount rush run we also have a hat parlay yeah so the hat that went um eight no last week eight no on this these two panels of the hat we're bills. We're going to do the bill of the hat.
The teams are the Seahawks, the Jaguars, the Saints, the Chiefs, the Steelers, and the 49ers. We're going to do those against the spread.
Those are going to be against the spread because there's some rancid dogs in there. Okay.
And so that's going to be the one this week. We'll get it up on the Barstool Sportsbook.
I love it. I love it.
All right, Mount Rushmore. Hank, who's your pick?

In honor of our former co-worker, Taylor, Taylor Wan, taking Derrick Henry.

Okay.

Rest in peace.

He died.

Yep.

Max and Billy and Jake, what's your pick?

Chubb.

Chubb.

Good pick.

PFT.

I kind of want to do Josh Allen.

All right, I'll do Lamar Jackson. Okay.
Let's go. All right.
I like that. I like that.
This is the white hand, black hand meme. It is.
Let's do it. Which one's the white hand? We got this.
Yep. We got this.
Okay. Let's get to Frankie Lasagna, and then we have Billy Eichner after Frankie Lasagna.
Frankie Lasagna is being brought to you by our great friends over at Curve. It's football season.
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Terms and conditions apply. Now here's Frankie Lasagna.
okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is Frankie Lasagna uh who went viral on

Wednesday night when Aaron Judge hit his 61st home run in the Rogers special guest it is Frankie Lasagna who went viral on

Wednesday night when Aaron Judge hit his

61st home run in the Rogers

Center in Toronto Frankie

Lasagna was one

of the fans that was very close to the ball

now Frankie thank

you for joining us

so to set the stage we do

a weekly thing in the football season

called Fantasy Fuck Boys

and we come up with fake names

and we've come up with, it's usually just Italian stereotypes. So it's like Tony Rospi for, you know, Tony Bologna.
Yeah, I think we've done Freddy Fettuccine. Yeah, Giuseppe Pizza, whatever.
So your actual name is Frankie Lasagna, though. Well, officially it's Francesco Lasagna even better okay so um we we saw your name we're like we got to get this guy on we got to hear his story uh about the ball and also just as living as Frankie Lasagna yeah yeah for sure yeah um So I'll start with yesterday.
So uh me and my uh my good buddy larry um known him for a long time and uh he's a big yankee fan so every year we try to go at least one game so i look on stub hub and uh i'm like hey you know we're approaching judges milestone you know we could be lucky and it could be that day uh i own a restaurant and um i'm closed on mondays and tuesdays but i'm open on wednesday so i decided to go on wednesday so that i didn't leave my wife alone with my two kids for a fifth day of the week so i'm trying to be nice in that way and uh so we decided to go wednesday and i looked online and i made sure I filtered out all the seats just to be outfield, left field, and roll one, has to be roll one, saw roll one, 150 bucks, jumped on them right away, I think it was the fourth at bat, and you're ready, you're getting ready, like every player on the field, anticipating every pitch, then, boom, he hits it. And then you hear, oh, everyone stands up.
Instincts kind of take over. And I think I elbowed my buddy Larry in the neck and reached.
And it was over so fast. And then, next thing you know, it's bouncing in the bullpen.
And the disbelief comes like, oh, my God, it was within a foot of me. Yeah, you were close to it, but I feel like there was another guy that was a little bit closer that has to be kicking himself.
It went off his glove. If you can find a slow-mo, it tipped his glove, and I was just like a foot.
You know, I'm a little taller than him. Maybe I would have had a better chance.
I had the first baseman's glove, too. Not to say I would have caught it, but, oh, my God.
What are the odds? I think you were being polite. You didn't reach over into his space.
You didn't want to encroach on his territory a little bit. I definitely – there was a daughter, a son and a daughter to our right, and my buddy, so I kind of jumped over all three of them.
Yeah. And gave it my best effort.
Like, I wasn't – I didn't miss it for not trying, that's for sure. So after that happens, what's the conversation like in your section after you see the ball fall down, you know, as that inning comes to an end and as the game goes on? Are you guys just sitting there in disbelief like, oh, man, I almost had it.
No, I almost said it. It was very surreal.
In the moment, everyone in that section was in utter disbelief and shock. It was almost like something happened in the world.
Something crazy in the world happened and everyone was just in disbelief for like 30 seconds. And then you kind of kick back in and everyone started clapping and celebrating celebrating for Aaron Judge and then it comes back and you're like oh my god oh my god like it was right there like could I have had it you second guess you're like could I maybe how hard would I have got if I jumped over yeah do you think you could have had it because I think you could have had it possibly I I feel like you know a lot of people say it was a little bit too low but I you know what I say let's do it again give me another chance Aaron and uh see if I can catch and try you've got to be rooting now for Aaron Judge to hit like five more home runs right because if it lands if he doesn't hit another home run that's a then that ball becomes a little bit more yeah yeah that ball becomes the the last home run he hit in the regular season this year um that that would kill you even extra to assume uh to be honest like i'm not i wasn't more like yeah it's it's it's it's a way of a cool chunk of money i guess you can say say, if you really got the full value for it.

But the story, I'm loving the story,

just being in that moment and having a chance and being made fun of online.

I'm loving it.

Yeah, you got to witness baseball history too.

So I got to ask you, Frankie Lasagna,

what kind of restaurant do you run?

Asian.

That would be so funny if you did do that frankie lasagna's walk kitchen yeah oh uh it's italian uh pizza pasta um after covid i had to alter my menu and and remove stuff from my grill i used to i used to have steak lamb salmon, salmon, chicken. I brought back my dad's burger.

My father had a restaurant in the same

building as my restaurant

35 years ago. Was he Frankie

Lasagna as well?

Phil Lasagna. His father

is Francesco Lasagna. Okay.

Do you have any kids?

I do. My daughter is named Frankie Lasagna,

believe it or not. My son is Lincoln.
Lincoln Lasagna. I love that.
That's a great name. It's like the log cabins that you make as a kid, except you make them out of noodles.
Was it awesome growing up being Frankie Lasagna? I'd imagine it's kind of cool. Yeah.
I haven't ever hated it. I'm sure I was teased as a kid, but I was always the joker and always having fun as a kid.
Still to this day, I'm a big joker. But never once did I ever feel like my name was using against me.
It got me out of a couple of speeding tickets. It makes for a good conversation.
And no, I've never not liked it. Yeah, everybody likes lasagna that's a good thing, if you hear lasagna you just get happy on the inside so your Blue Jays, your big Blue Jays fan how confident are we? Do they have a shot? Yeah, for sure, we got a shot now, looks like we're going to probably end up playing Tampa.
Home field advantage would be huge for sure. There was the talk that if the Jays did get home field advantage with the border and the COVID restrictions, some of the players wouldn't be able to travel.
Right. But I think that's going to be wiped very soon and they will be allowed to play.
I think the government should hold off just until the playoffs are over. Okay, so I had one last question.
If you had caught the ball, what would you have done? And now this is a tricky question because I think you need to answer it one way to start, and then we can do hypotheticals after. But you still have a chance to get some good will here so what what would you have done with the ball i would uh i would have uh definitely held on to it or kept it and uh tried to get judge to come to the restaurant and uh cook for him and then uh you know i like judge so okay so that was incorrect um what you need to do because you didn't actually catch the ball like go out in front of everyone and be like, if I had caught the ball, I would have given it right back to Judge.
It's Judge's ball. He did all the hard work.
I want him and the Marist family to be happy with the ball. It would have been my pleasure to hand it back.
All I'd want maybe is just a good old-fashioned handshake, knowing that if you actually caught the ball, you'd want money. So that's what you've got to start doing.
If you do any more interviews, pretend you're like the nicest guy in the world and be like, all I'd want is a pat on the back from Judge and be like, great catch, fella. Well, yeah, I guess.
I guess I could say that, but, you know, cooking for him would be extra. Yeah, yeah.
Or just say that you would take the ball, auction it off, and give all the money to charity. And you would hope that Aaron Judge would match.
I would have matched that. I would have matched your charity donation.
I would have doubled big cats and matched. Yep.
Okay, okay. Alright, I'll take that to my next interview.
I'm doing a couple more and I'll take that. Yeah, actually, could you, in your next interview, could you be like, I just talked to the part of part of my take guys i would have given the ball to charity i would have sold it for charity and they actually said they would have matched so it's too bad i didn't catch it okay all right all right perfect we want some credit here because like if you had actually i would have yeah i definitely would have for sure no question i love charity yeah yeah all right all right yeah i gotta i gotta a couple i can plug okay all right good good good um well frankie lasagna i mean i just like saying your name i just want to be friends with you because it would just be great like your friends have to be like having a frankie lasagna in your crew is that's a great move yeah my friends would way definitely be way less cooler if I wasn't around life, that's for sure.
Yeah, yeah. So thank you so much for joining us, and sorry you aren't good at catching baseballs.
Maybe it was a hockey puck. My hands are better for making noodles.
Yeah, yeah. All right, thanks, Frankie.
Appreciate it. Likewise.
Thank you. Thanks for having me.
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Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. And now here's Billy Eichner.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, incredibly talented actor, producer, writer.
It is Billy Eichner. He has a new movie out that he co-wrote, executive produced and stars in called Bros.
I guess the first question is like, that feels like a lot for one movie. you a little nervous because essentially it's like do you like billy or not in this movie yeah well yeah i mean you're probably gonna not love it if you hate me um which was our original tagline for the poster um but i i should say i i first of all thank you for having me and um i contribute a lot to the movie, but I did not do it alone.
Bros is produced by Judd Apatow, who's made some of the funniest movies of the last 20 years, Bridesmaids and Superbad and 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. And, you know, and I co-wrote it with Nick Stoller and he directed it.
Nick made Neighbors and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

And, you know, these guys co-wrote it with Nick Stoller and he directed it. Nick made Neighbors and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And, you know, these guys really coached me through this process and they really know how to make a really fucking funny laugh out loud movie. And so, yes, I contributed a lot.
I do star in it. But this was a real collaboration between all three of us.
That's smart. So if you don't like it, it's Judd's fault.
Yeah. That's what I'm hearing.
Blame Judd Apatow, all right? Okay. Don't blame me, all right? It's my first movie.
The other thing about this movie is, so it's the first ever movie, I think I have this correct, that has the entire cast as LGBTQ, straight and gay roles? Yeah. So it's one of, if not the first gay romantic comedy, we actually sort of call it a, you know, they say rom-com.
The emphasis here is a bit more on comedy. So we call it a com-rom, but it's the first of its kind produced by a major studio, Universal, about a gay couple and two gay guys.
And the cast it's all openly lgbtq actors and actresses even in the straight character even playing the straight characters um so it's a first um in that way um and you know it's cool it's fresh it's new it's exciting it really is like uh you know a judd apatow movie but you, finally one that happens to be about a gay couple, which we've never gotten before. But, you know, it's really just an R-rated good time at the movie theater.
You know, it's really funny and it's exciting and we're very proud of it. So as straight men, should we be offended that you stole parts from us? Because like I was going to be in this movie, I'd assume, and then boom, I'm not.

I don't think you should be offended

because historically, straight guys

have often gotten to play a lot of the best gay roles.

They win Oscars for them.

Yeah.

This is like the first time that we get to be offended by this,

so I really want to take a bit.

You took a job from me.

The first time you guys are the marginalized group. This is fucked up.
Yeah. Someone will real reason to complain here.
I love it. Someone will have that take, you know, that like some idiot is going to say something like that.
And it's going to be hilarious to watch them try to do the mental gymnastics being like, how could they do this? Yeah. I mean, well, on Twitter, you'll get every take imaginable, and that's fine.
But you know, the funny thing is, you know, there are all these historic statistics attached to the movie. And those are great.
Those are important to acknowledge, you know, that this is a movie that's taken a really long time to get made. And it is a big deal that a studio like Universal, the same studio that makes Jurassic World and Fast and the Furious and Minions and all these big global franchises also made an R-rated comedy about two gay guys, you know, and it just, it just hasn't happened very often.
And that's very cool. At the same time, when Nick and Judd and I sat down to write it, we never thought, all right, let's write a historic movie.
Or, you know, we just thought, let's write a really fucking funny movie. You know, like we don't get many great comedies these days.
And I think people have forgotten how much fun it is to go to a movie theater and laugh with your friends and sit in the dark and eat snacks and laugh your ass off and escape our fucking bleak world for a couple of hours and actually watch something that makes you feel really good. Yep.
And also the air conditioning in the summertime. That's a big one for me too.
I love air conditioning. And here's the great thing.
You can still check your phone. That's the best thing.
That's the best part of all. You can still check your phone.
Just don't annoy the people sitting around you. Yeah.
So I guess I'm curious because it never occurred to me that there had never been like a major studio funding a romantic comedy about two gay main characters. What's one thing that I guess, I guess for lack of a better term, straight movies that they get wrong about gay culture when they have gay characters as side characters or like, you know, the neighbor or something like that.

What's something that that they've gotten wrong traditionally that you guys have switched

up in this movie?

Well, I don't know if they've got anything wrong necessarily.

It's just that we never really get to be the center of the story.

And I think for that reason, you know, we've had a ton of test screenings of bros at multiplexes all over the country for months since March, you know, we haven't had our official premiere yet. But when you do a studio movie like this, they make you test it a million times in front of all different types of audiences, straight, gay, everything.
And, you know, what you realize is one of the things straight people love about the movie is that in addition to it being really funny, I hope it is a peek behind the curtain at a culture that you think you know about from like the random gay characters you've seen on sitcoms, but you don't really know because it's very rare that we get to be honest about it, you know, and get to be the center of the story and really dive into it. And, you know, it's so funny.
You know, we I sat I sat in on a focus group. They did.
And one of the straight guys in the audience, they asked him, you know, about the movie. And, you know, there's like this really funny sex scene in the movie.
And they were like, what did you think of that? And he said and he said you know he was like i kind of felt like i was watching jackass like you know it was a little uncomfortable but it was so fucking funny i didn't care it was just hilarious and i actually thought that was amazing you know like a great comparison you know like what's the difference if it's two gay guys rolling around in bed you know or if it's sasha Sacha Baron Cohen and Borat rolling around in bed with that guy? You know, like, it's just funny, you know? And so this is a rare chance for people like me, like a gay comedian, to like star in a movie and really get to show what our lives are about in a funny way. If anyone compares you to Jackass, that's like the highest compliment you can get.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, you know, I'm the gay Johnny Knoxville over here. That's huge.
Um, all right. So can we talk a Billy on the street? Obviously how you got your start is so incredible.
I, so, you know, I've done some man on the street and not anywhere near what you've done, but I also have done enough to know it is probably the hardest thing to do when creating content. How hard is it when you – because everything seems so effortless for you, but were there days when you're trying to test it out and starting it where it's like, fuck, we can't get any great moments here? Oh, so many days like that it like it's one of those things where unless you've done it and you guys have done it you know you don't realize how hard it is to do and we've had so many big stars on the show and so many really talented gifted people i mean everyone from like chris evans will farrell paul Road, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Chris Pratt, Michelle Obama.
I mean, we've had so many people and yet they come and an hour in and they're like, whoa, this is a lot. Like you are improvising every second with strangers.
You are running around, you're dealing with the people, you're dealing with the streets of New York. You have my guy, my camera guys, my incredible camera crew been with me now for years.
They are running with cameras on their shoulders, sometimes running backwards in order to get me in the right angle. Like it's completely insane.
The degree of difficulty is very, very high. And as the show got more popular and successful, there's also a standard you're looking to meet.
And that character that I'm in, that persona when I'm on the street is so intense. I can't drop it.
If I drop it, I'm not the guy anymore. So it's not one of those things you can just phone in.
So it's a, it's that it's it's a tough one, but it's also why I'm here.

It's also why bros got made.

It's it's why I have everything that followed.

And I'm really proud of it.

You know, the people who love Billy on the street really love it.

And that, you know, that makes me happy.

Yeah.

So have you ever been on the street?

Has there ever been a guy that comes up to you and tries to get you and their man on the street? I'm trying to think. I probably wouldn't be nice about it is the sad irony.
I'd probably be like, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah.
You're annoying. Yeah.
I fucking invented you. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, now, yeah.
Now I feel bad because Billy on the street got very popular on tiktok i mean it wasn't even me originally posting the clips it was just fans of the show and that led to a lot of other man on the street stuff on tiktok because like you said everyone thinks they can just go out yeah and do it and it's just going to be funny when it takes a lot more work than that but um so i do feel a little bad about all the copycats running around new york yeah are there actually people that that think that you invented man on the street maybe young people but i definitely did not invent man on the street i mean my biggest inspiration for it was was letterman yeah you know i i'm old and i grew up watching letterman i mean when i was a kid my parents would for some reason would let me stay up and watch letterman when he was on at 12 30 when he followed johnny carson when he was like really edgy and subversive and doing all this shit on the streets of new york and i even as like a child i don I was so drawn to it. And I also, I grew up in New York City.
I'm a native New Yorker. I grew up in Queens.
I went to high school in Manhattan. I love New York so much.
It's like my favorite place. And so I love being out there, you know, even though it's tiring and all that.
I love New Yorkers. And Billy on the Street is really, I bring to it what I can, but it's really about the people I talk to and you don't find it anywhere else.
And, but no, I certainly didn't invent it. You know, I, my biggest inspiration personally was, was David Letterman and what he did, although it even predates him.
I think, you know, you had talk show hosts like Jack Parr way back in the day, doing a of it. Did you ever what's the closest you came to, like, either getting in a fight or someone just like losing it on you? Yeah, a couple of times.
But I mean, considering how many people I've spoken to over the years, it's remarkable how few times that's happened. Yeah.
But once an older lady, I think we found out maybe she was a nun, although she wasn't, she was not dressed as a nun at the time. But she slapped me across the face.
This was years ago, really hard. This was like in my YouTube days.
And I asked her some question about sex or something. And she just really slapped me across the face.
I mean, she can't hold you that stand. She was off duty.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Look, she was doing her job and I was doing mine. But and then, you know, there have been some guys over the years who who start who start up with me a little bit.
You know, I kind of do like I like to have fun with straight guys sometimes. Like, you know, I like to like, you know, give that, you know, make it a little awkward about like sex and stuff.
And like, there was one sketch we did where I was just walking up to pee. I was dressed as a chipmunk.
And it was to promote it was I was pretending to promote one of the chipmunks movies, which I was not in. But I was saying I was promoting that I was dressed as a chipmunk.
And I went around just to make out with people anyone men women anyone and i was actually surprised by the amount of people who allowed me to kiss them um and one but one guy did not like it one i mean i didn't kiss him i just like approach it i was i were and he like put up his fists and like yeah he didn't like that yeah so those people, one thing that you're really good at that a lot of people, especially around this office, admire is you get people to sign releases even after they look, they do stuff that might make them look really bad. What's your secret to getting somebody to sign a release? it definitely got easier over the years um because we could i mean the the show

got really popular and we could pull up clips online on someone's iPhone. You know, I have a bunch of producers and production assistants, God bless them, who follow me around.
And after I speak to someone, we'll run up to them and say, hey, we need, do you mind signing this? And he's a comedian and it's a show. And, you know, sometimes when people hesitate, they could go on YouTube and be like, no, no, no, it's just an act.
Here he is with Tina Fey or here he is with Will Ferrell. Like, you know, this guy's legit.
And, you know, people, people end up, you know, not everyone, but a lot of people end up saying, oh, all right, I get it. It's like a bit.
All right, here you go. You know, whatever did you ever workers to be cool that way did you ever lose out on like gold because that would kill me if you're like i you know you you hit just gold with someone they're like nope not signing the release luckily it hasn't happened often to the point where i remember it but it's definitely happened a handful of times um and you know but it's a numbers game it kills you but you've got to move on you know like you got to keep going and also i would never blame someone for not signing the release like i i totally get it you know um so i might be disappointed but i obviously see where they're coming from and um you know that can be frustrating but i don't know you just move on you're like fuck it go to the next person have you thought about like your career is so fascinating did i read it correctly that you got uh your part on parks and rec through a dm twitter dm that is 100 accurate that's crazy i was doing billy on the street and i'm starting to get known for that online and on social media.
It was a TV series, but we would pull the clips from it and put it online. And that's where it really took off.
And Mike Schur, who's a TV writing, producing genius who made Parks and Rec and The Good Place and a lot of wonderful shows. He he DM'd me out of nowhere on Twitter.
This is probably going back to 2012 or something, maybe 2013, something like that. And he said, hey, Billy, it's Mike Scher.
We're all big fans of yours and Billy on the street at Parks and Rec. I think we have a part for you on the show.
And I was like, what? I was like, I have agents and managers and lawyers and all these people. And I ultimately ended up getting the first scripted show I'd ever done as, you know, from a DM on Twitter.

That guy's insanely talented, too, the stuff that he's produced.

And I think he's actually one of the first sports bloggers ever.

Tremendous.

He started Fire Joe Morgan and invented sports blogging.

Yeah.

He's Mike.

Mike is incredible.

And really, I never I was so I was just thinking about this the other day. I was so green when I did Parks and Rec.
I had I've been doing Billy on the Street, but that's not like other shows. You know, it's improvised.
It's not scripted. You're not on a set.
Parks and Rec was the first time I was ever really on a set saying scripted lines. I mean, I went to theater school.
I was an actor. But then Billy on the Street is what I had been doing for years.
And I had never been on a TV set. I remember the first day.
I didn't even realize there were takes where the camera wasn't on you. I mean, like there were very basic things I did not understand.
I didn't admit it at the time. I just acted like I knew what was happening.
And eventually I picked up on it. But yeah, that was an amazing experience.
And those actors were really incredible. It's such a such a great show.
So have you had the thought of like what your life would look like without the internet? Because we have the same thing where it's like, if the internet didn't exist, we wouldn't be sitting here. We wouldn't have a podcast.
We would have like, have you have you played out the Billy Eichner's life without the internet and't exist we wouldn't be sitting here we wouldn't have a podcast we would have like have you have you played out the billy eichner's life without the internet and your ability to make a career based on a man on the street you know series yeah i don't think i would have a career without the internet like that's i mean you never know maybe i would have strolled into an audition and booked something but that's never how i got things i was always very bad at auditioning or even when I was good, it just wouldn't lead anywhere. You know, people just didn't know what to do with me.
I was a very outside the box character, especially when I started out over 20 years ago in comedy in New York. You know, it was a different time.
Yeah, I feel like back in those days, it was a lot harder to break in. You almost had to know somebody or be related to somebody to get your foot in the door because there were very few jobs in comedy on television as opposed to now where it seems like if you do have the internet like everybody does and if you're a content creator, you can kind of make it happen for yourself and at least see if it works.
Absolutely. I mean that's's what happened for me.
You know, I, there were a lot of executives and agents and things who would come to my live show in New York, which is where the Billy on the street video started. I had a whole live show and the Billy on the street video started before YouTube, about a year before YouTube even existed because I'm older than I look, but, you know, and we would show those videos on a screen and people would fall out laughing.
I mean, they would love it the way they love it today, but I didn't have the internet to prove to the industry, the entertainment industry that I would have fans everywhere that I would have that it wasn't just a New York thing or a gay thing or this or that, you know, that, that this is something everyone would love, I was very unique. And I had my own take on it on on the street.
And I was loud. I was really bold.
I was very unapologetic about everything about who I am. And, you know, for 20 years ago, that was a lot for people.
And even when they liked me, they didn't quite know what to do with me, or they were scared, you know, and I needed the internet so that I could control it so that I could say, look, guys, like, this video has millions of views. Okay, like, there's an audience for me out there.
And you're underestimating that. And that's what it took.
Yeah. Have you ever considered selling out and going with a cordless microphone? Absolutely not.
And I know, like, I mean, we still use this, like, we don't do it as much anymore at Billy on the Street, but like, we always use the mic with the wire, which at the beginning, I swear to you, the only reason we used it is because I had no money. And we went to Radio Shack.
And that was the cheapest mic that you could get. And so we used it, but then it ended up kind of becoming part of it because I'm literally attached to the A-cam, one of the cameras.
And you can see it in the shot and it helps like build tension, you know, and it keeps us connected to each other. And it just became part of it.
So it's interesting that you say that because I feel the same way when I'm watching it, that when that camera comes into the shot that you're connected to it highlights the absurdity of the situation where you're tied to a guy and you're screaming into somebody's face for somebody holding this black box that's pointed at you and you get to see like for a split second how absurd the entire situation is and it actually does make it funny so i'm glad that. Never sell out, never change.
I'm never buying a wireless mic. Never.
It's part of it. You mentioned you like to, you know, like kind of poke it at straight guys.
And you probably don't remember this tweet, but I was looking through, you know, doing some research for this interview and you had a tweet in 2012 that just says picture of a football and it's a picture of a football and i just i don't know if you know but that was so genius because we literally do that all the time where we just post pictures of football oh yeah really yeah i know every sunday every sunday morning during football season i post a picture of i literally do literally do that tweet. You nailed it.

Hey, listen, my culture is not your costume, Billy.

I'm sorry that I appropriated part of my take culture.

I am sorry.

You can cancel me, you know, and I'm listening and I'm learning as the kids say.

You nailed it.

It was 2012, and you're just like, yeah,

dudes are probably just posting pictures of footballs. It's like, yeah, we are.
Yeah, I do that all the time. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I myself, but I fall for a guy who's like a bro.
I mean, he's gay, but he's like this, like, you know, bro jock type of guy. And we're really opposites in that way.
And, you know, that that lends itself to a lot of comedy and a lot of funny, absurd situations. Absolutely.
All right. I have another question that you I I'm going to guess you haven't gotten asked this question.
Can you bring back you have the power to bring back friends from college? I love that show. And it left on a fucking cliffhanger.
i'm so mad i know and you know i hear that all the time about friends from college um because we only got to do two seasons of it sadly that that's netflix's call to make but you know what's what's cool is that friends from college is where i met nick soar um and friends from college led directly I mean, I worked, I had a couple of scenes in the sequel to Neighbors, which Nick directed. And then Nick put me in Friends from College, and he loved working with me.
And he sent me an email in between seasons one and two of Friends from College, the first and the last season of Friends from College. Nick sent me an email and said hey i really love working with you i think you have a lot of potential beyond billy on the street and i want my next movie to be a romantic comedy but i think it would be cool if it was about a gay couple because we've never seen many of those and judd apatow was really interested in that too and so that directly came out of friends from college So So sadly we didn't get to do more of that show, but we got to work together.
Okay. So that makes me feel a little better that this is kind of, you know, born from friends from college.
I just hate whatever. Yeah.
There's shows that you, you love and then, and you like, kind of like, Oh man, this is a great show. I can't wait for another season.
And it's just like, Oh, it's gone forever. Yeah.
Friends from college is interesting, you know, because it is one of those things where people come up to me all the time and talk about, or they tweeted me or send me messages saying, Oh, make another season of that show. But there are a lot of shows out there.
And also that show started at a very strange time. If you remember, it was the first, not to get political, but it was the first summer um that trump was president and everything in the air was very heavy and very political and friends from college came along as just the show about like friends cheating on each other and sleeping together and it it it felt a bit removed from what was happening in the world you know um and like it didn't feel topical and i

think maybe that affected how critics saw it um but i think people out there really loved it yeah

yeah absolutely i'll have to check it out i haven't gotten big cat used to always tell me

yeah michael k was on the show and i asked him the same thing i was like bring it back so i'm just

i think at this point i'm just gonna try to get everyone who's on the show on this show

and eventually maybe i can incept everyone to be like yeah let's bring it back

Thank you. like bring it back so i'm just i think at this point i'm just gonna try to get everyone who's on the show on this show and eventually maybe i can incept everyone to be like yeah let's bring it back yeah well stoler and i had a great time on that and um it led directly to bro so i'm i'm grateful for that yeah nice nice so um uh the character that you play in billy on the street it's kind of i was i was thinking about a little bit today it's not far not far off from how Big Cat and I look at ourselves in terms of sports, where you care so deeply about pop culture and about movies and things like that.
Your character is over the top caring, but it's because there's a kernel of truth that you yourself actually do care a lot about. That's how we feel about sports, where we make fun of ourselves for caring this much about sports, even though we do a little bit.
So as, as a pop culture expert yourself, can you tell us how we should feel about the Harry Styles, Chris Pine thing? Oh boy. Yeah.
I don't know. People are spitting on each other.
I'm like, wow, you think bros is gay harry styles is spitting on chris pine all right that's just gay um i don't yeah well i just saw right before the interview that um i guess someone's one of their publicists came out and said he didn't spit on chris pine i don't know i it's it's tough for me i it's a hard hard call for me to make i did watch the video. I don't know.
I don't know what happened there. That movie is just a lot of drama.
Yeah. So when I first saw this drama coming out about, I was like, is this, is this just a work? Are they trying to get us to go see the movie by talking about it? But then it seems like they really hate each other.
So I'm not sure how effective that marketing strategy is going to be. I don't know.
It's very old school school in a way you know i don't know it's um uh i mean it's kind of i'm sure it's not fun for them i don't know but uh it's been a minute since we've had like a big kind of fun hollywood it's just like drama you know we were dealing with like covid and all this serious political stuff for like years you know and I think people will find it sort of fun to not think about something that heavy. Yeah.
I like the slap. The slap was great.
It brought America together for an evening. Yeah, exactly.
I know the spit is the new slap. Yeah.
Yes. So yeah, we'll have to see how it all pans out.
You know, I'm, I'm pulling for everyone as always with Bros, obviously you've reached a point in your career, like, I'm sure that if you told yourself this 15 years ago, you'd be like, no way would I be doing this. What's like the next big thing? What is the – because, I mean, it is kind of mind-blowing, I'm sure, for you, that you're the lead in this movie that you helped write and executive produce.
Is there another thing? Are you are you gonna be like a marvel character or something like what's the what's the big thing that you got to knock off after this i don't know i mean it's funny because these days like you have any success and then people are like so next you're gonna do a marvel right right like that is like the thing we're all supposed to be working towards um i don't know i don't know i mean this i have no marvel movies are great they're obviously very popular i don't know i'm a comedy guy you know like i like being funny and i actually like playing real people you know i think billy on the street which i love of course but it was a cartoon character it is a cartoon character essentially like to life. That's always how I thought about it.
Um, and, uh, you know, Letterman was a huge inspiration for it, but so, so was Pee Wee Herman who I grew up really loving. Yeah.
And if you know, if you know Pee Wee and you watch Billy on the street, you'll see what I mean. Yep.
Um, and, and he was very silly, but also very subversive, like a lot of There's a lot that's happening there that's similar. So I've played these cartoon characters.
And so like one of the great things about Bros and why I was so excited to do it is because I get to I still get to be really funny, but I also get to be an actual human being, you know, with like feelings and, you know, a complicated life and, you know, something that's really relatable to people while still being funny, relatable to straight people and gay people and everyone. But it's, you know, we don't get that many movies about like actual people anymore.
Everything is like a superhero movie or a franchise movie or a horror movie. And those are great.
There's nothing wrong with those movies. But when I was growing up, there was a lot more variety in terms of what was playing at the movie theater.
And so, you know, again, that's why I was excited to make Bros. Because I think that, you know, comedies, something that makes you laugh out loud is just as important as like a dark, gritty, as a dark, gritty superhero movie.
And again, there's nothing wrong with those movies. I love those movies.
I go see those movies, but they're not the only types of movies to be made. Right.
And so I like comedies. And so, you know, for the time being, I'll probably stick to that.
Yeah. But this is the start of it.
You're going to do, you know, a nice little four movie run. Yeah.
And then you're going to get an eight pack and then you're going to get on all the steroidsGH and you're going to be like no I'm just changing my diet and I got to live in chef so that's how come I've got all these muscles everywhere then you'll be in I didn't say I don't want HGH so I didn't say that shoot me up with whatever as long as it doesn't kill me, I'll take all the steroids.

But yeah, well, eventually you'll get there.

You'll get to a place where you're bored with making movies about real people,

and you're like, I want to be a comic book character.

But in this movie, you talked about the sex scene in it.

Is that weird?

Like, is your first starring role?

I've always just heard how awkward sex scenes are in general to film,

because you've got everybody around you. You have to pretend like you're having fun, but you're not.
Totally. Yeah.
And this one is not, this one's really there for comedic purposes, you know, like, you know, like I said, we made the movie with Judd Apatow and Nick and, you know, we were thinking about scenes like the scene in Bridesmaids where they all go to the wedding shop and they all get like diarrhea, you know, like these like explosively funny physical comedy scenes or in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, that first scene where Jason Segel is naked the whole time and just like arguing with his girlfriend, you know. So we were trying to capture like our version of that, like something that was really physical and funny and a little shocking and all of that so I'm really lucky this actor Luke McFarlane stars in it with me and we just committed to it you know we wanted it to be as funny as possible we wanted it to be explosive and something that you know people haven't seen before something that people wouldn't forget so it is definitely awkward and and not, you know, you're not just with the actor.
There is a whole crew of people around you. Also, every time you film a sex scene, they tell you in advance.
They're like, don't worry. We made it a closed set.
No one's going to be on set. And then you get there and there were like a hundred people on set.
There were more people on set that day than any other day. It was like my fucking cousins were there.
I mean, there were like a ton of people on set there were more people on set that day than any other day it was like my fucking cousins were there i mean there were like a ton of people on set um and you just have to ignore it and do your job for the sake of comedy um all right so billy everyone go see bros i have one last question uh this has been great it's the roback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use code take for 20 off your first uh for your first purchase q-zips hoodies polos everything at roback.com uh my last question is i didn't i didn't see you at uh marching in the pride parade were you there this year in new york city i was there oh okay yeah i i must have missed you i was also there so i also marched so oh that's nice to be well thank you yeah no oh well no listen i listen don't i mean you don't have to thank me but you're welcome i am thanking you oh okay well i'll take it yeah i'll take the thank you i drove a a giant gay truck around at the shore all summer long i could have had it rewrapped to put our faces on it but it had the rainbow flag on it and had joey and pat from out and about i said you know what as an ally i'd like

to go ahead and represent this brand because that's how much pride means to me that was the same truck that i was in that so who would you say is the bigger ally i was marching cat who was in the pride parade or myself that drove the truck around uh for an entire month and a half yeah i was in the prior a month and a half is a long time i don't even i don't think even think i would drive a rainbow colored truck around but it was free so he was driving because it was free i did drive

for a month and a half. I have two children, and I basically was like, oh, my Sunday afternoon.
The other thing with the Pride Parade, we were supposed to show up at, like, 1 o'clock, and I don't think our float moved until, like, 5 o'clock. It was – Oh, no.
It always takes forever. It's the longest the longest day but i will say i truly do love that we're on part in my take and we have two straight real life bros arguing over who's the bigger out yeah yeah so i think it's me at one point i i was trying to merge into traffic with this truck and this car wouldn't let me in i rolled down my window i'm like you goddamn homophobe i was pissed off like they were they were discriminating against me thinking that i was gay that's how much of an ally again it was a free truck so he really had no choice i chose how much did it cost for you to go into the parade well a lot of time it's time with my family all three of us will be on on the bros themed float in the pride parade You know what? I'll take you up on that because I've been to a Pride Parade and I had a blast.
So I can speak from experience. He just drove a truck around.
Well, I went to a Pride Parade a couple years ago when it wasn't content. Oh, okay.
When it was just me there doing it just for my friends. But yeah, it was good.
I must have missed you, but I was there marching in the Pride Parade. We appreciate your presence.
And truthfully, like, you know, we do need all our straight bros and allies at bros opening weekend in movie theaters. It's a great fucking movie.
And, you know, if you like to laugh, funny is funny. You're going to love it.
And, you know, we've been watching movies about straight folks for decades, and we need our friends and allies to return the favor now so uh please come out and see it and i really think you're gonna love i'm gonna see it twice see it twice yeah no you know what i'm gonna see it 10 times i'm gonna buy 10 tickets um yeah i'm gonna see it 10 times you should you should buy out a movie. I want to do that.
Done. We have, we actually have Chris Evans.
We have captain America himself who is, uh, hosting a screening of bros in a couple of weeks. Uh, it's for like bros who love bros who like want to support bros, the movie.
And so I would love for you guys to do that. Let's do a part in my take bros screening of bros.
I'm in, I'm going to bring everyone that I went to the Pride Parade with and I'm going to buy out the whole movie theater because I was at the Pride Parade. I would love that.
Yeah. All right.
Thank you, Billy. You're the best man.
We appreciate it. Thank you guys for having me.
I really appreciate it. Okay, let's wrap up the show.
We got FireFest, new segment sponsored by WhatNot. WhatNot, the live stream auction app where you can buy collectibles comics and really almost anything else is barstool's platform of choice to sell all our weirdest and unique office finds memorabilia create a whatnot account using the link in the youtube description and get ten dollars off your first purchase and make sure you follow the Barstool Sports page to get alerted whenever

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Sports page to get alerted whenever we're going live. Firefest of the week.
Hank. Big Cat.
Thank you. Hello.
My Firefest of the week this past weekend. I was at Rolling Loud.
I don't know if you guys knew that. Yeah.
Yeah. All the wristbands.
Sounds sick. It was a great time.
So sick you got sick. I did get sick.

I don't know if that's a fire fest, but I've been sick.

It's not fun.

Yeah.

I came home and my – so I had an old fire fest where I didn't have a key to get into my door.

I had to wait outside.

There was like one of those electronic lock things, pin number.

Put your pin number and you can get in the door.

So I've just been using that and I have a key to my apartment. but i haven't been bringing my big key out with me if that makes sense i got home it was like one o'clock in the morning i was pretty pretty fucked up and the pin thing just didn't work like it just wasn't responding and i was just like smashing it smashing it smashing it and i just had i had no idea what to do i sat there for probably 45 minutes oh no just just hitting it and then eventually it just turned on I don't know what I did or what what happened but I I was like I took a walk around the block trying to like I went to get a drink at the convenience store just to get like a water and be like what's going on like what am I gonna do am I gonna go sleep in the gambling house I don't know what to do because I'm not gonna start you know I can't bang on the door.
No one's going to come down. Billy's house? Billy's house.
I didn't even really think about that, honestly. I figured Billy was also.
Well, I figured Billy. Yeah, he was in Tennessee.
He was probably also entertaining clients. It was basically a gambling house or just like eventually this thing's going to turn on.
And I was just drunk enough where I was like, it's going to come on. It's going to come on, it's going to come on.
And eventually it did, but I got in at like 2.30.

That's always tough.

That's always tough.

One time I went through a similar experience where I lost my key

and I couldn't get in,

and you just have to sometimes sit down next to your door

and just pray to God that a neighbor comes in or out.

And that's a lonely existence.

Yeah, that's brutal.

I'm glad you made it in safe though, Hank.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did. It could have been ugly.
You could have survived out there You're a warrior Probably How long do you think you could survive on the streets? Like a stray A while Give us a day Like not allowed to go inside any doors Three weeks That's a long time, yeah Nice Billy, how long do you think you could survive? That should be his punishment if he doesn't want to do the bowling Oh, just live outdoors? I'm like pumped for the bowling I can't wait to bowl You're super excited I was going to say Deciding how long I can live Live on the street Just off your stored fat Yeah, right, I was going to say The question is, can I live there for a long time because I'm so fat? I'm a fat fuck. Or would it be, I'm such a fat fuck that I would die because I'm such a fat fuck? No, I think it'd be very safe for you in the wintertime because you've got that, you're like a bear that hibernates.
I lashed out. I'm sorry.
I want to put it on the record that I apologize for saying that. That was mostly uncalled for.
Very, very pointed. I'm sorry that you think I rigged the competition to something I'm good at.
I wanted to do something that the people would enjoy. I never said that.
I'll eat double the hot dogs. I don't give a fuck.
I never said that. I'll eat double the hot dogs.
As a moderator of this conversation, I just want to say, Big Cat, I understand maybe why Hank's upset. I'm not.
You have to also think about it from this perspective. Hank would never, ever rig a competition that he was setting up to make it more beneficial for himself.
It's just when it happened. So let's give Hank a little credit on this.
Yeah, that's true because you can tune in to episode nine of the mini golf next week. Hank played it ten times beforehand.

Oh, you're talking about Merch Palooza.

There's a couple of different ways we can go now. There's so many.

I mean, there's so many.

We have binders full of Hank-rigged competition.

Well, that's why Hank was so good at spotting it,

because he's the expert at setting it up.

Yeah, that's true, and I never even crossed my mind.

Me neither.

He's been holding on to my 169 seven years ago, being this will come in handy all right pft um my fire fest is unfortunately we had to we canceled the festival this weekend because there's a hurricane coming through atlantic or through ocean city wait seriously so that yeah the entire festival friday saturday and sunday just got canceled and it's a bummer because and it's not even. Like two seconds ago? Yeah, like two hours ago.
Fuck. It's a bummer because I talked about it on this show on Monday.
I was going to get to play with some of my childhood heroes for playing at this concert. It would have been awesome.
And a lot of people have asked me because I tweeted it out. Are you secretly excited that you get to cancel this plan because it's something you have to go do? No, not at all.
Like, I saw the picture this morning of where they were setting up the stage, and it was like a giant festival soundstage. I'm talking, like, you see at those huge outdoor concerts in, like, England where everyone's got the flags and shit.
Giant stage that was set up on the beach overlooking the water and, like, Ferris wheels and shit. It would but uh unfortunately there's a hurricane coming to town sucks so it's canceled um so if anybody knows a place that pup punk can play this weekend in new york city let me know and i'll try to get it set up i think that becomes my fire fest that i didn't agree to go yeah because then i could have had that canceled yeah i was down to go it would have been really nice yeah i was i i feel like i was very honest you asked the whole group oh does anyone want to come i was like well i am going to chicago this weekend so if i weren't i would at least consider it before i said no i i invite everybody in the group chat on those types of conversations because i know that big cat won't come because he's got family stuff that he takes care of but i would have considered but it's nice it's i would have come to this one but it would have been worse if i hadn't invited anybody right but i would have come to this one yes this one you would have but you can't because it's unfortunately there's a hurricane i would have i would have come twice so it's a bummer then i've been coming all weekend i also have broken ribs which is tough or broken fractured cartilage in my ribs but i'm not gonna complain about that i'm just a warrior i'm a fucking warrior i got a tort come to work, unlike Stephen A.
Smith. That's true.
That's a fact. Those are all facts.
How was tortle? They actually fucked up my injection. Shout out Tyrod Taylor.
So they gave me the injection in my arm. And my arm, when you get a shot of tortle, it's crazy.
It burns for a while. It feels so warm.
You can feel it go in. So I got the injection in my left uh shoulder on sunday and it didn't do it did not make its way over into my ribs at all so like there was no painkilling effect then they gave me a painkiller and uh they're like here you go take this i was like i have to go work right now so i couldn't even take the painkiller before i went into the office so i took it on monday night felt great just because we hear all the nfl players talk about.
I just wanted to... I've had a couple in my back and it on Monday night.
Felt great. Just because we hear all the NFL players talk about it.
I've had a couple in my back, and it feels so good. It does.
The warm sensation he's talking about, like my back felt warm. And then they gave me a steroid pack, and it was like, oh, I feel great.
But I wasn't cured. I just felt great.
Just then a week later, I was like, I still hurt. It just honestly makes your arm arm feel warm for a second and then as it spreads out and dissipates in the rest of your body at least for me like I sort of get flushed and sweat a little bit it was just cool to be able to say like yeah I got a torridol injection dimmest day alright my fire fest this happens to me every single football season and I'm nervous that it might stick a little bit longer this year but i'm starting to like betting unders and it's a phase i don't like and i do it every year i get like a little stretch where i'm like oh i win one under and i'm like that was easy so just everyone understand that if i say i like an under um i will get out of this phase you know know what I mean? It's kind of like I'm trying some new stuff.
I'm trying some new shit. I went to college, and I tried a little something different.
You experimented. Yeah.
So this literally happens. Anyone who's been listening to me talk about gambling for the last decade, they know once a year I will fall in love with unders for a two a two-week stretch and then i'll knock myself out of it i'm deep in it right now like i only i look at the board and i'm like oh i love all these unders it's gross you'll you'll phase out of it and you'll get back to betting uh not on the over for games that you like the under right it's i phase myself out of it i stop i stop like just betting unders and then slowly i just start betting all the overs and lose all my money but i think you're set up nicely for this year because we've had so many unders hit recently well that's part of that as the season goes along that's going to correct itself right right at the time that you're swinging back into overs mode so i think that you're you're probably not going to lose any sunday or monday night bets for the rest of the year it's just a gross feeling you just don't i don't like doing it i i know when i do it i'm like this is not me but i just something comes over me once a year and it's just it's the worst sometimes i i do actually get a sick perverted good feeling out of doing that during basketball games right and like and rooting for double dribbles and shot clock violations the the thrill you get when there's a shot clock violation and you bet the under, it's disgusting, and it makes me feel dirty inside.
But at the same time, it hurts so good. And really, all I need to get out of it is just one of those games where it's like the first half is 6-3, and then the second half is a shootout, and you're like, why didn't I? That's the beauty of life's too short to bet the under.
You're always alive. So once that happens, I'll snap out be I'll snap out of it.
But right now I'm going through some shit. So I'd like everyone to, you know, be be nice to me about it.
Billy. A little update on a fire fest I had a couple weeks ago.
It's been four weeks since I got bit by the ticks. Haven't had any reactions yet.
Still. I mean, I mean, oh, that's great.
Still not out of the woods yet. You still putting meat in your mouth yeah i've been yeah that's weird you said not out of the woods that's where you got them yeah but uh you got them on your butt too yeah where did you sit down no well they crawl up your leg it's like cosette it must have crawled into your asshole for warmth yeah because we were doing a a the other day.
I'm sure you'll see soon enough very funny commercials to shoot.

And Billy was like, I have tick bites on my butt.

And we're like, okay.

Well, yeah, I had to take my pants off.

Different story.

We had to take your pants off for you.

It's going to be a great commercial.

It is going to be a great commercial.

Yeah.

It's going to be a great commercial.

And then my Fyre Fest is I've also been sick like Hank.

Oh, cool. But I show up.
You guys doing the same drugs? So our fire fest is we're gonna be sick Jake's looking at me nodding Is showing up to work sick Like a cool thing? No it's actually a bad thing Thank you Hank Thank you Hank for not coming into work yesterday But I'm not symptomatic. You're welcome.
I'm not symptomatic. I keep my symptoms inside.

So you're not sick.

You're in denial.

You're just making up excuses.

So are you sick?

No, I beat it.

Oh, okay, cool.

When?

When were you sick?

Wow.

Like Monday.

Okay, so when you were out.

That's called a hangover.

Right after you went to Tennessee?

Yeah, that's a hangover.

No, but I was sneezing.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure you were.

You don't sneeze when you're hungover.

Depends on how much cocaine you put up your nose. No, Jesus.
I don't do that. My fire fest is I'm about to get sick.
Yeah. At least you're paranoid about getting sick.
Why, Jake? Now for the next week. Because you're sandwiched between.
I'm going to wake up and think, is today the day? Yeah. Jake, you can't live like that.
Just keep going. Yeah, I'm here.
I'm not going to hide. No, I know.
But like you can't be like oh is today the day yeah jake you can't live like that just keep going how now i'm here i'm not gonna like hide no i know but like you can't be like oh today's the day that i'm gonna get sick you just gotta be like fuck it i'm gonna fucking beat this shit yeah do you get some sleep do you often wake up with like a tickle in your throat you're like it's happening now horse yeah every day scratchy throat oh and you're going to see erin judge on friday so you might have to survive one more night. Yeah, but you might not make it.
I'll make it. What about Jake Plummer's mushrooms? I've been doing those not as consistently as I like, but I did that more so for the dog allergies.
You helped? We haven't tested it yet. Oh, we got to get a dog in here.
Get that dog in you. Yeah.
I'll finish the thing first. Okay.
All right, let's do ping pong balls. Oh, Big Cat.
So we talked about this before you came into the room. So with the whole Merchapalooza back and forth fiasco.
I told Hank. It is a great, great point.
I didn't even think about that. Hank literally last episode rigged a competition and then accused me of that.
Yes. That really accuses you of shit.
But what I did, Big Cat, is I told, since Jake got steamrolled by Hank in the Merchapalooza thing, I told Hank that if he gets the ping pong ball right today, if he guesses it correctly, then I will make Jake whole after Jake pays Hank the money. But Hank's not getting a dime if he doesn't get it right.
I also told Jake I wasn't taking his money. So I'm not taking a dime either way.
Are you agreeing to this? So I'm giving Hank $1,600 if he gets the ping pong ball correct today. I'll double it.
So $3,200? Yes. Wow.
You're not going to get it. You're never going to get it.
All right, deal. No, wait, wait.
Big Cat, are you doubling mine? I'm doubling yours. And I and i'm gonna match big cat all right so let's go so now we're gonna be heartbroken especially after he called me a fat fuck with so much so much truth in his voice so billy you don't get any no no but there was an awl did the math the the equivalent of hank never hitting a number is of hitting the ball nine times.
Oh, that's great. I love it.

All right.

So he's not going to get this.

As of like two weeks ago.

So if he gets it, he gets $6,400.

$6,400.

Okay.

Come on.

$26.

Oh, my God.

If you get it, this show would be flipped upside down.

He's not going to get it.

$82.

He's never gotten it before.

It's the same thing as when he says he's going to get a six-pack.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

$41.

All right. What's yours, Batgirl? 18.
Oh, my God. One time for the kids.
Try everything I've done through. Wait, what number did you pick, Hank? 73.
Not even close. Oh, man.
I'll do that deal all day. He'll never get it.

That was so close, Hank.

He'll never get it.

That was so close.

He'll never get it.

Penguins shoot their shit away from their nests and can launch it 20 yards.

Hank, I'll do a deal with you real quick, right?

Rest of the year, if you don't get it, you got to give me, let's say, five grand.

And if you get it once, I give you 2500 whoa i'll match deal i'll match what if he gets it twice for five grand but but if he gets it twice deals off how about how about he's got to get it exactly once before the end of the year how about hank yeah he pays each then I'll pay $2,500, you pay $2,500. But we should get better odds than that.
He has a lot of chances. But he's never going to get it.
He sucks at this. Yeah, it's true.
He's never going to get it. Alright, deal.
But if you get it twice, then it's null. It's exactly once.
Understood. Okay.
We're going to have to start checking the balls before every... He might rig it.
Yeah, he actually definitely will. Good point, Billy.
Make sure these balls don't get touched by Hank. Billy, that's a new job.
Before every episode, you have to count every ball. That's great, though, because then we have a redemption.
I think it should actually – here's what the odds should be. If you get it once, you get five grand from me and PFT.
If you get it zero times, you have to give us five grand it. If you get it zero times, you have to give us five grand total.

Yep.

If you get it two times, you have to give us five grand total.

No.

Yeah.

That's not good.

That's terrible odds.

What are you talking about?

You're not going to get it twice.

Yeah.

Hank, you've never got it once.

I'll do five grand, five grand, $2,500 for twice.

Okay.

Or three grand, $1,500 each.

Okay.

So you pay us three grand if you get it twice. We pay you five grand if you get.
You pay us $5,000 if you get it zero times. Deal.
Okay. Deal.
I don't know. Love it.
I feel like that's bad odds for me, but I don't care. Love it.
Love it. No, you just heard it.
You can't possibly be this bad for that long. What if I get it three times? Oh, God.
Three grand back to me. Why are you afraid that you're going to get it too many times? There should always be redemption.
Fine, fine, fine.

Three grand back to you if you get it three times.

Fine, fine, fine.

And at four grand, you have to give Billy $10,000.

Four times.

And suck his dick.

Yes, yes.

Suck the ticks off his ass.

Love you guys. We'll be coming for your lover.
Shine away. I've been coming for your love of peace.

Shine away.

I'll be coming for your love of peace.

Needless to say.

I'm all the same.

But I'll be starting a little bit.

Starting a little bit.

I'll be coming.

I'll be coming. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Southern in the mountains of the lake Take on me

Take on me Take on me Take on me I'm here to go To the top Things that you say Is it love Just to play my worries away You are the things I've got to remember You're shying away I'll be coming for you anyway You're shying away Bye. Take me.
Take me. Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me. Take me.
Take me. I don't think you do.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on year. Take a year.