Derek Jeter, Daniel Jones Internal Clock, 1 Question With Gardner Minshew And Guys On Chicks

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On today's Pardon My Take, Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter.
Yup, we got the captain on the show. Hank is still so mad about it.
He was like, we went into the interview and Hank was like, he's going to suck. And then he was very good.
I did not say that. That's a lie.
Yeah, he did. He's like, he's going to suck.
But he was very good. Great interview with Derek Jeter.
We're going to do Monday Night Football recap. Hot seat, cool throne.
Guys on chicks. A packed show for you.
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Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff and work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app for Barstool Sports.
Today is Wednesday, September 28th, and Danny Dimes has done it again. 0-9 in primetime games.
The Cowboys beat the Giants. I was actually thinking about it.
It's unfortunate for Danny Dimes that he is playing for the Giants because he does have to play so many primetime games. And it wasn't even his fault on Monday night.
But that game, watching that game, it reminded me, because being able to actually focus on one game, it reminded me that Daniel Dimes has the worst internal clock of any quarterback I've ever seen in my life. All right, so it's funny that you said that because literally the only note I made from last night's game was Danny Dimes, he stands in the pocket for about one second, and then he takes off.
So I don't know if it's necessarily that he's got a bad internal clock most of the time in terms of getting sacked, but he doesn't let the clock play out long enough sometimes, and then when he should be having the alarm go off, he doesn't. So he's like opposite.
It's like the broken clock is right twice a day. Somehow, Daniel Jones is a correct clock that's wrong at all hours of the day.'s like just like 10 minutes either ahead or 10 minutes behind but he's never on schedule so at the end of the game he rolled out of the pocket and he had a linebacker coming at him from about 15 16 yards away and he just kind of stood there like a video game he's like he'll never get here with the controller unplugged and just was just like bouncing and pulsing yeah and then just gets fucking rocked and throws the ball sideways out of bounds then the other times in the game, he'll drop back in the pocket.
He'll look over to his right. That dude's not open.
Fuck it. I'm going to take it and run.
And he can run. In a perfect pocket.
And so, yeah, he can run. He just.
He also had the special of he would roll right and there would be. It was usually Lawrence or Micah Parsons or someone.
The Cowboys defense was great. They pressured him all night long.
Would just be running after him. And it was like watching the movie Scream, where you're like, don't open that door.
And Daniel Dimes is like, dude, what's going on? If you're a Giants fan, you're spending the entire time yelling at the TV, watch out. I like the Daniel Dimes.
I think we've only heard like Daniel Jones. It's like saying Shaq O'Neal.
Yeah, Daniel Jones or Daniel Dimes. Damn, Daniel Dimes was back at it again.
With the bad internal clock. And it wasn't.
I actually don't think that that was all on him that game because the Giants have no receivers. Yeah.
They don't really block well. Saquon looked awesome.
And the Cowboys defense, like Dan Quinn is a really fucking good defensive coach. He's going to be a head coach.
I'm just going to call it right out. Dan Quinn will be a head coach again, and he's going to go 8-8, then he's going to go 5-11, then he's going to go 5-11 again, get fired, then he's going to go somewhere and be the best coordinator in the league.
Some people are meant to be coordinators, and that's okay. I don't know what it is about our society these days that says that the pinnacle of everything is to be, if you're in the coaching sphere, is to be a head coach.
Sometimes you can just be really happy being really fucking good and the best defensive coordinator in the league, and then everybody always wants you to get a head coaching job, and then you just take the interviews for the head coaching job, come back and get a raise. Look who's living proof of you should just do that is Brent Venables.
He just lost to Kansas State at home. He should have just stayed at Clemson forever, getting like $1.5 million a year.
And every time Clemson lost, Dabo gets clowned, not him. Yeah, that's perfect.
Also, is there any chance that, let's say, hypothetically, Urban Meyer goes to Nebraska, and then Taylor Martinez is like, I'd like to. Before this year's over.
And he goes back to Nebraska. He probably has another.
I think they would grant him another year just to go back to Nebraska. But we should also mention Cooper Rush, 3-0 as a starter, looked like Cooper Rush has now made himself a lot of money because he doesn't look incredible, but he looks more than competent as a backup.
as a backup I'm telling you because the ball kind of jumps off his hands sometimes it's not like he's got a cannon for an arm I don't think he's got like a really compact wind up and the ball goes further than you think it would based on how he throws it yeah so he's yeah he's made himself a lot of money as a backup and uh Jerry Jones even think today he said something along the lines of, it'll be interesting to see what happens when Dak comes back. Yeah.
Because, like, he's put pressure. And Jerry fucking loves a quarterback controversy.
Oh, he loves it. That's what he gets out of whatever hyperbaric chamber he sleeps in to extend his life.
That's how he gets out of that area in the morning. And he's like, I can't wait to stir up some controversy with my team and talk about the quarterback.
And he also comes from the cradle of quarterbacks. I think it's the cradle of coaches, but I'm going to call the MAAC the cradle of quarterbacks.
Central Michigan, you've got Ben Roethlisberger, Bruce Gretkowski. Everyone.
Chaz Batch. Jules.
Jules, good point. Jordan Lynch.
A lot of great quarterbacks.

Went on to be great pros out of the Mac.

So, yeah, Cooper Rush.

I mean, and again, the Cowboys defense is just fucking good.

They are.

I think it's – they have a lot of good players,

but it also just proves that if you can get that one guy,

which is obviously harder said than done,

but that one guy who can just wreck every play in Micah Parsons,

everyone else's job gets easier.

They're not. If you can get that one guy, which is obviously harder said than done, but that one guy who can just wreck every play in Micah Parsons, everyone else's job gets easier.
That one time when he got double teamed and then skirted the double team and then just blew up the guard and then got the quarterback, it's like, this guy, he can't be blocked. Yeah, 11 from heaven, as Skip Bayless says.
Skip recorded a nice video after the game was over last night of him, just like his nut face the camera. Yep.
He was just like, oh, yeah. This is awesome.
He loved, man. The world is a better place when Skip Bayless and Stephen A.
Smith are jawing at each other from cross country into their phones without ever addressing the other person by name. Yes.
Because when Stephen A. Smith puts on the cowboy hat and he goes on first take in the morning, he's not doing that to get under greeny skin he's not doing that to get under the fan skin he's doing that knowing that Skip still watches film about him and thinks about him every day and sometimes accidentally calls Shannon by Stephen A.
Smith's name when they're debating correct and vice versa when Skip Bayless talks about the Cowboys he's not betting cases of dying Mountain Dew with LaShannon Sharp he's betting his own heart to Stephen. Smith, who he knows is watching that tape later on that day.
Yes, absolutely. And, yeah, the Cowboys, I'm starting to, like, fall for the Cowboys again.
I need, Batgirl, I need you to, like, just set me straight that we're supposed to hate the Cowboys. This is my problem with just being like, oh, I'm rooting for this team this year.
I don't know all the history. Because, like, Iboys defense.
I was like, if Dak comes back and he's okay, this Cowboys team, similar to last year. I'm like, oh.
Then Michael Gallup comes back. CeeDee Lamb.
Shout out CeeDee Lamb for that horrendous drop in the first half. And then he did the my bad, which I love whenever it's like totally.
Was that really his fault? It was like a wide open in his hands.

My bad guys.

Yep.

Thank you.

That's leadership.

The craziest part about that drop that he had was I don't think he ever even extended his hands to catch the ball.

The ball just landed in his hands where his hands were and just went right

through.

It was the perfect pass.

It was the perfect pass.

You could not have thrown a more perfect ball.

And I'm trying to get better at maybe not like just completely self cell phoning myself. Which one did I say there, Hank? Cell phone.
I did say cell phone. I'm trying not to have the total knee-jerk reactions because in the first half, I was like, are we sure CeeDee Lamb is good? That's what I was thinking.
And then he went on to make incredible plays. Yeah, he's nasty.
And win the game. Yeah, he's an incredible wide receiver.
But yeah, the Cowboys. I also like, did you see Jerry Jones' celebration after the game? No.
It was awesome up in the box. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jerry Jones in the box when he's happy is so perfect because I think he had an opportunity to execute upwards of 10 or 11 various handshakes and fist bumps, and he missed all of them. Yeah.
Every single one of them was a fist bump to another guy's handshake or a handshake to another guy's fist bump. And then he was just – The rich people are fucking amazing at missing handshakes.
And then he was just – rich people and golfers. Yeah, golfers.
Which I guess is a good Venn diagram. Yes, it is.
But he was just staring at his team after, like, picking his fingernail, and I just assumed that he was, like, being like, yes, my pretties. Like, they finally won a game.
Like, this is great. But, yeah, the Cow great but yeah the cowboys defense is real the giants i think the giants are exactly what we thought like they're they're a frisky team but they're not a good team yet i mean they were we said it before like could you imagine the giants being three you know i could not so that's why i took the cowboys last night and like i don't giants versus bears this week will be a battle of like, whoever wins that game will be 3-1, and that's stupid.
That makes no sense. I think the Giants are definitely, I put them in the punching above their weight class category.
Yeah, they're their first year head coach. They're frisky.
So the Giants can beat a team that's better than them, and they can also lose to a team that's worse than them. Yeah, they can lose to the worst.
But usually they can beat a a team that's better than them but they can't compete with a team that's better than them that is playing at like their normal level yeah they have to have an off game you have to make you yeah you have to look at the giants and be like we're going to play down a little bit then the giants will beat you 100 of those right the giants can beat the bills if josh allen turns the ball over six times correct yeah correct yeah they could lose to the seahawks just straight up yeah I wanted to point this out because somebody did point out to me yesterday that the hat that I wore on Sunday night show went 6-0 against the spread and 6-0 money line. Now, what? This sounds like you're doubting.
Was it Sunday or Thursday? What do you mean? The Bears didn't cover, but that's whatever. Okay, so it's Moneyline.
Yes, yes, yes. No, but they pushed.
Either you pushed or lost. It was three or three and a half.
Okay, so the hat went undefeated Moneyline, including several underdogs. Correct.
The Jaguars were on there, right? And the Jaguars were on there. It actually was better than I thought it was because I looked at the hat last night, and there are two other teams.
what they are because i don't have the hat on me right now but there are two other teams that are on that front panel that also won money line one of them i think was an underdog as well so it really went eight no money line that will never happen again so i i think i'm going to take the bill of the hat this week i'll bring it in okay we'll talk about Thursday. I'll put together a bill parlay and see if the hat.

I like that.

Or wear it backwards, I was thinking.

Yeah.

So I could wear it backwards.

Colin Coward would fucking hate that.

But on the back, it's got more teams.

So it's more likely that it could lose.

Or bigger odds.

I don't know.

We'll see if the hat can rise to the occasion.

I think you take the back of the hat not as a parlay,

just all of them straight up.

Just straight up?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Front hat back. And then what about the bill, though? The bill may be a save for when we need to get out of jail free.
The bill is for a rainy day. When we need a real monster win.
Oh, yeah, for a rainy day. That's perfect for the brim of the hat.
Yes, exactly. Breaking case of emergency, the bill of the hat.
What were you going to say, Billy? Did you guys see who was wearing number 13 on the Giants last night? Who? David Sills, who played at West Virginia, but if you remember way back, that was the quarterback who was 13, who was offered by Lane Kiffin at USC, and now that's how the story panned out. He switched to wide receiver, and now he's playing the NFL.
Look at him. It could have been you, Billy.
Yeah. And we also had an almost all-time Mike McCarthy move, which Jake Ferguson, Barry Alvarez's grandson, fun fact, went out of bounds at the end of the game.
And that play was stupid to begin with. They're like, hey, we just need to run the ball and we can get it to like 50 seconds.
And they're like, no, let's pass it and have it run towards the sideline short of the sticks and hope it works. And it didn't.
It didn't work. Mike McCarthy, it was going to be an all-time Mike McCarthy bonehead but we were robbed of that am I the only one that has thought that uh Ezekiel Elliott isn't the best running back on the Cowboys for the last like two and a half years yeah I mean Tony Pollard gang has always been hyping him up I feel like three for the last a lot of people the last three years it's been it's been pretty obvious to me at least yeah that Pollard, he just looks like a fresher guy.
Ezekiel, he's earned his contract, and by that I mean he was good before he got paid. And so they kind of paid him money, which I think— And Jerry loves him.
And Jerry loves him. But when you have an older running back, and by older I mean really after their first big contract, it's tough to stay fresh for that long long tony pollard he runs like he's still hungry i so the only thing that i agree he always looks like the the fresher faster running back i always wonder though like is that because he doesn't get the first down carries when everyone knows you're gonna run and like has to run between the tackles type of stuff yeah like he gets to he gets.
He gets stuff that Ezekiel Elliott has to get, like some of the hard yards, and then Tony Pollard can come in and be a little thunder and lightning. Which I love whenever a backfield claims they have thunder and lightning.
That definitely could be one. Remember Lindale White and Reggie Bush, the eat and run duo? Yeah, they were the best.
They were awesome. Yeah, I was actually looking it up.
This Tony Pollard is a good lesson that if you are going to raise your kids to play one sport or two sports, it should be basketball or baseball because Tony Pollard is a good NFL running back. He has made $3.5 million total in his career.
Yeah, see, he needs to. Because he was not drafted high.
He was a fourth-round pick, and he hasn't gotten his big contract yet. And that's got to suck.
Yeah, he needs to get paid. So what's going to happen definitely is he's going to get paid, and then he's going to turn into.
Yeah, someone's going to try to feature him. He's going to look slow.
And then the guy behind Tony Pollard, everybody will be like, yo, does anybody think that this guy is better than Tony Pollard? Right, exactly. Someone's going to, like the Jets are going to are gonna give him like 40 million dollars yeah it's just a bummer because he's been good for a while yeah he's looked better than ezekiel and ezekiel is getting paid so much more money um the only other thing i had was that uh halftime was so awkward where joe buck unfortunately had to interview jimmy kimmel that sucked yeah i hated it because that's boomers time yeah chris berman should have been on my my television.
Well, and also Jimmy Kimmel. Like, I just Jimmy Kimmel seems like a nice guy, but like the comedian that he has become knowing the comedian he was like, it just sucks to watch him because he's just become like this, like super safe, like, ha ha.
Like, here's the joke. It's going to be the joke that I've said a million times.
Like, dude, you used to the man show. We used to watch, you know, girls jump on trampolines.
You used to be the guy. I know times have changed.
You used to be the guy that would make your dog wear a mask so that when it walked in the room while you were jacking off, it looked like a hot chick. Right.
And now you're talking to Joe Buck and being like, my workout routine is really tough. You know, I'm religious about that.
I'm going to go on Howard Stern tomorrow. Is that crazy? Baba Booey.
Yeah, my family's watching the game here, and then my other family's betting on the game in Las Vegas. So, I mean, gambling's legalized everywhere.
Yeah, I've got Guillermo. He loves the Cowboys.
Joe Buck, you could tell. He was like, dude, I just want to take a piss.
Yeah. Let me take a piss.
And the audio at the end, I don't know if you guys noticed, it was crazy. It was wild to watch.
It was so out of sync. It was, I said in the moment, I was like, it's like when you find a porn video that's out of sync and you're like, what's going on here? Like they would snap the ball and then you'd hear the snap and then you'd hear the whistle like well after a flag was thrown.
I don't know what ESPN is doing, but clean that shit up. know what porn you're watching i mean that that's old school like when you look it up and you're like uh you you've never watched a video where the the audio is out of sync i honestly like back in the day i don't i've watched scrambled porn no when you like find a video it's just like it's not lined up and you're like this is weird and sometimes that happens when you're like trying to fast forward through the video and you restart it halfway and you have bad internet way back in the day.
That might be it. Yeah.
When you try to start. I think that still happens when the audio is just fucked up.
Anyone want to back me up? No one's ever? All right. A lot of people were saying that they agreed.
No? Okay. All right.
I'm out on an island. I guess I'm the only one who's ever seen a video where the audio was fucked up on a porn I want to be in that boat with you big cat Jake and I grew up with like internet streaming I don't think it's an age issue literally like there's some bad videos out there you try to watch it and it's just like alright well this audio is just fucked up are you talking about online or like a DVD online no DVD is clean I feel like is clean i think i feel like what you're talking about is online when you try to fast forward but way back in the day and your internet was slow so when it would recalibrate i'm gonna find one sometimes i'll please do please do i don't think it's a i'm not even talking about an internet thing it's just this happens we'll throw it on the youtube people will people will back me up on this this definitely happens where it it's like, wait, these don't match up.

It's like there's moaning and then they still have their clothes on or something.

What's going on?

Well, all right.

That's fine.

I'll just be stuck out here by myself.

On Horny Island.

No, it's not even horny.

Those videos suck, but they happen.

I've seen them before.

Thank you, Hank. Why were you holding back?

Oh, now you're saying no?

No, he's just trying to make you feel good.

I mean, a lot of people were agreeing with me online, so I guess I'll just just be on my own i remember that big cat yeah no that's fine i don't need i don't need pity you guys jake do you remember that i'll do some research i can't say i've had any personal experiences with that issue i don't want to think of you watching porn that like bums me out no offense to you but it does like you're not i just you're not. I just.
You're our darling Jake. You don't do that stuff.
Yeah. You don't touch yourself.
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Okay, so we taped a little out of order today, and we did guys on chicks already.

But Hank, you alluded to this.

And I would like to hear what Jake and Billy say as Yankee fans.

Are we concerned about Aaron Judge at this point?

It feels like it's concerning time.

I kind of think he might be overswing. Yeah, I think there's a lot of pressure.
I think he needs Albert Pujols' dick ball that's like juiced to the gills as well. He needs that.
He's going to do it on Friday night when I am there. Oh, so 61 and 62? He's going to hit one of them.
He might hit one of them. He's going to hit one of them.
How many games are left? Nine. Okay, if there was a way.
Nine at the time of this recording. If there was a way for Big Cat to hit his bet and for everybody else out there that took Big Cat's bet to win their bet and still have him fail at it, that's what I want to have happen.
That's impossible. It's not possible.
It would be, I know, but I'm just saying, like, I can't root against it because Big Cat has money involved. It's the people more than me.
And I won't do that. But I gave it to the people.
It would be very funny if he just got stuck on 60. It is weird.
It'd be hilarious. Yeah, no, I don't even care.
I'm rooting for the people as well, but when he strikes out, it kind of hits. It's one of those bets that if I just personally took it and I hadn't put it on our sportsbook app and the people hadn't rode with me, I wouldn't care.
Like if it was like you could lose money, but also this would be hilarious, I'd be all in. Like that would be very funny.
But I do feel bad for the people because people rode the bet. Here's the thing.
It'd be a real shame. I know you're rooting against me.
No, I'm not. I just said I'm for the people.
Once he hits 61, I think all the pressure's off. I think a lot of it goes away and we could see two in a game.
I think he'll probably go. He's going to get it.
He's going to get it. But it would be very funny if he did the greatest uh the the stat i saw because this is it is weird that the whole conversation is about and hank has alluded to this like 62 when we're just erasing barry bonds from the history books but and sammy and mark yeah and sammy and mark multiple times and uh but i did see last night aaron Judge took his 18th intentional walk this year.

Yeah, the guys are avoiding him too.

Right.

Barry Bonds had 120 intentional walks in 2004.

How absurd is that? That's crazy.

120 times.

It happened with the bases loaded, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I think he got walked twice in his career.

That's how fucking crazy he was.

Yeah, also one thing we talked about with Jeter in a few minutes, but Jeter's last hit was a home game at night in September against the Orioles. This weekend, Friday night, home game, September at night against the Orioles.
The signs. That's not that wild.
That's pretty wild, Hank. No, you always finish your season against a division.
No, Hank, how many... I agree with Hank on that.
I can look at the Yankee schedule last time. Late September.
Turn that W upside down. I'm against the Orioles.
I'll look it up. How many times has Aaron Judge walked this year? It is really crazy.
Every night should just be like, hey, remember Sammy Sosa? I mean, remember Barry Bonds and how fucking absurd he was? That should happen more walks 101 walks this year barry bonds had in his year that he hit 73 home runs he had 177 walks judge had 127 in 2017 the the the two in 2004 the year that he was intentionally walked 120 times uh he had 232 walks that's fucking ridiculous that's absurd that's absurd getting on base that much so that's the year where if he had gone to bat without a bat every single time he would have i think still led the league yeah and on base percentage it's it's stupid it's stupid and never swung at a single pitch yeah so uh yeah it's interesting because we talked about this record a little bit last week and we said how, okay, it's basically, it's a Yankee record, which.

It's AL.

Yeah, they're saying AL, but it's Yankee.

We said Yankee and then I had several people reply to me being like, dude, it's the AL record that is going.

Nobody gives a shit about an AL record.

That's not a thing that people care about.

No.

I get that the number 61 does have some meaning in American culture.

Yes.

When it comes to baseball. That absolutely does.
I acknowledge that 100%. Yeah, it's not really a record.
It is the Yankee record, which sounds lame when you put it that way. But it does have a meaning because it was the number that everybody grew up with as being unattainable.
Right. There was actually a discussion that we had back in the early to mid-90s before the steroid thing.
Will anybody ever hit 60 home runs in a season again? And people were like, no, it's not going to be possible. Pitching's too good.
And the fact that it's happening, it's kind of cool, but at the same time, it would be fucking hilarious if Aaron Judge just strikes out every at-bat in the season. I don't want it to happen, but you have to admit it'd be funny.
It also, just because we're talking baseball records, it just reminds me that Joe DiMaggio's record is just the most. 56 games in a row with getting a hit is just so stupid.
That is so stupid. If we're doing a list of the most unbreakable records, I would say the hitting streak and then Ricky Henderson's stolen base record.
And Cal Ripken,. Just because everyone takes breaks now.
Yeah. Did you guys see Tommy's tweet about the records? What? It went viral.
MLB posted top five most unbreakable MLB records. And number five was Cy Young throwing 749 complete games.
That was number five on the list. That's pretty crazy.
It was MLB on Fox. What else was on there? Wainwright and Yachty.
325 starts as battery. Yeah.
Number three was DiMaggio's hitting streak. Number two is Otani's 10 plus wins and 30 plus homers.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, that's pretty crazy. Shohei Otani should be the MVP.
Yeah. And number one was Barry Bonds' all-time home run record.
What about... I think the hitting streak record should be number one.
I think Ted Williams had, like, 15 confirmed kills in World War II. And then hit 404.
That'll probably never be done again. Mm-hmm.
That's true. That's a fact.
All right, what else we got? What else we got before we do Hot Seat Cool Throne? A little college football. Miami sucks.
Yep. Miami is bad.
It was kind of, yeah, there wasn't like, there's no change at the top. Ohio State's really fucking good.
Tennessee rocks. Yeah, Tennessee's back.
Hindenhooker for Heisman. When they play Alabama, that's going to be like, that is one of those games that if Tennessee can lose by less than 10, then I'm like, ooh, they might actually be back.
But it has the potential of a classic like Alabama. Just every time a team in the SEC hops up for a second, they're like, ha-ha, no, no, no.
We're Alabama. You're right.
There's absolutely levels when it comes to SEC football where you can be an average team, you can be a good team. Then there's the next level of a team that's so good that they can keep it within one score of Alabama right like a team or Georgia in this case now yeah makes Alabama nervous and then there's the boss level that Georgia is the first team to ever really get up to that level since Nick Saban's been down there where it's like they are kind of low-key favored against Alabama right they're gonna go on there's gonna.
There's going to be multiple years now where it's like the spread is less than a touch because, you know, obviously LSU's championship season, but then it was disappeared. Georgia's now sustaining, hey, we're on this same level as you.
I also saw earlier today one of the old BCS computers. You remember the old computer formulas that they had? Yeah.
There's an old bcs computer that still does their bcs formula and publishes it every week they had jamie rank number 11 in the country wow that's a pretty smart computer kansas not being ranked as a travesty as well that is stupid it's just that's a total helmet ranking yes if they were any like if kansas were usc same resume they'd be like three in the country. Yeah.
That's why preseason rankings and rankings in September are so stupid. Yeah.
Texas is back to being not back. Yep.
Facts. Officially.
Facts. Yeah.
Horns down everywhere. Washington might be good.
Yeah. Dana Beers, our good friend, he got Texas Tech a $50,000 fine.
Just him. What'd he do? Well, no, it wasn't just him.
But there was actually some Texas Tech fans pushing players, which was fucked up. But Dana didn't push any players.
But Dana went up to the mascot and did a horns down right in his face in front of the cheerleaders. It's unsportsmanlike conduct.
So the actual AP story saying Texas Tech has been fined for $50,000 for rushing the field has Dana as the picture. So it looks like he's the one who did it.
Lifetime Texas Tech fan, Dana Beers. I mean, he has to choose Texas Tech.
No, I think it'd be even funnier if he got them a $50,000 fine and then left. Yeah.
I mean, that's an all-time being able to go see that game. And that was, I think, the first time they beat a ranked opponent at home forever since Crabtree.

You've watched more Big Ten than I have this year, Big Cat.

Is it time that we start having the discussion about Penn State being ranked in the top four?

Oh, no, Penn State's good.

Penn State is good.

But Penn State has Sean Clifford.

So he's kind of, I don't want to say he's Kirk Cousins, because that would probably be mean to Sean Clifford. So he is the – he's kind of – I don't want to say he's Kirk Cousins because that would probably be mean to Sean Clifford.
He is – Kirk Cousins won a few games in the Big Ten. He did.
He did. Didn't win that Big Ten championship game against Wisconsin, even though it was a revenge game for Wisconsin.
But Sean Clifford is the guy who Penn State will get to a point, and I think they are very good, but he will throw just a back-breaking interception, and every Penn State fan will be like, why did I believe in Sean Clifford? That will happen. They know it's going to happen.
Ride the wave until it happens, but holy shit, that's going to happen. Drew Aller.
Drew Aller's going to come in at some point. The backup, yeah.
He had Will Levis. I know.
Yeah, but was that a fair assessment because you are a Penn State fan, Max? That's a fair assessment? Yeah. He had Will Levis.
I know. Yeah.
Yeah. But was that a fair assessment because you are a Penn State fan, Max? Like, that's a fair assessment? Yeah.
I have zero faith in Clifford. Yeah.
But, like, he is going to – Penn State's good enough, and Singleton is really, really fucking good, and it's going to be – get to that point where Penn State's there, Penn State's there, and then it'll be like, what the fuck? Why didn't we bring in Alex earlier? Yeah, why did Sean Clifford throw that ball? And so, yeah, and Ohio State looks like world beaters as usual. Is Ohio State the most boring, awesome team of all time? In terms of a franchise.
That game was never even close. If you look at their colors, their whole vibe, the aesthetic, the campus, I feel like Ohio State is a very boring machine of devastation.
Yeah, I think it comes down to when they had Urban Meyer, there was still the allure of Urban Meyer as a psycho, and they could still lose to Purdue or Iowa randomly. And now it just feels like they are a true corporate machine.
Well, it goes back to Jim Trestle when he used to wear the sweater vest and the tie to every game. Every game was pretty much a board meeting.
They were going to come out on top because they had stacked the seats in the boards. They had all the votes.
And then they would just kind of methodically move on and move forward. Like run the ball, play solid defense.
That's kind of what Ohio State did. Now, even though they have incredible playmakers at quarterback and wide receiver for the last several seasons, they still have that boring-ass vibe to them.
I just can't get amped up for Ohio State. Yeah.
I mean, they do just run through the entire Big Ten, and we'll see if Michigan can duplicate it. Although, I think Michigan State stinks.
The game against Penn State, that's at Penn State. So, that will be can Penn State survive the Sean Clifford disaster.
Tune in. Everyone's waiting on bated breath.
Yeah. Spoiler alert.
He will not survive the Sean Clifford disaster. Well, I mean, they survived Christian Hackenberg.
Yeah, but this is – Sean Clifford is a quarterback that is just built to get your hopes all the way up and then just demolish them. I want to see one of those YouTube compilation videos that people do for various colleges and like certain eras in time when they go back and do like a very heavy, heavy breathing voiceover and walk you through what happened.
I want somebody to do that with Christian Hackenberg and explain to me how Christian Hackenberg played forever in college football. And then he gets to the NFL and it's like, this guy can't throw a ball seven yards.
How is that possible? He's a good lesson that college football, if they had the one and done, it would be good for guys like Christian Hackenberg because when he was there the first year, it was like, this guy is incredible, and he should be the top pick. And then he just had to play too much college football where everyone was like, eh, maybe not.
Yeah, but it would have been very funny if he had gotten to the NFL. It's the number one pick, yeah.
And then at the next level, we got to watch Christian Hackenberg evolve as he did in college, but against players like Miles Garrett. Yeah, yeah.
Who? Oh, yeah, yeah. As a Bears fan, I hope he's okay.
Yeah, there was a big, a lot of that, like, as a Steelers fan. I retweeted that poor guy.
He probably woke up and was like, what the fuck just happened? Because it was the actual news article being like, Miles Garrett suffered a severe crash. He's flipped over a bunch of times.
His Porsche looked, like, completely mangled. And then there's one guy, the first response under it was, as a Steelers fan, like, I'm rooting for him to survive.
It was was Steelers fan here I hope both of them are okay also I hope he's on the field this Sunday or very soon appreciate that that's nice I'm I'm I as a fan of football I'm happy that Myles Garrett didn't die in a car crash yeah so wait this guy is a Steelers fan and he said I hope he's on the field this week do you think he would have included that part at the end if the car crash had happened exactly seven days ago definitely not if it was last tuesday would that guy have been like i hope he's on the field in two days yeah i don't know i don't think it would have been like steelers fan here happy he's okay probably a sign that you know life's bigger some things are bigger than sports maybe he should retire uh steelers fan here just hoping that he takes all the time necessary to make a full and complete recovery. Yes.
That's what he would say. Yes, absolutely.
All right, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne. Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by our friends at Coors Light.
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Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Hank.
My hot seat is anyone with the Spurs championship future. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Media day was yesterday.
Bunch of stuff. I like how the NBA does it all in one day.
Zion Williamson looks great. James Harden lost a bunch of weight.
Yeah, tweet that he said. And then Greg Popovich just outwardly said it.
No one here should go to Vegas and bet on this team to win a championship. If you bet in the Barstow Sportsbook $10, you'd win $100,000 if they do win the championship.

Is that it?

It's good value.

I'm going to sprinkle a little bit on that.

But I don't know.

I'll probably get in trouble for that.

I don't think you can just say that.

But I respect the honesty.

Yeah, he was nice.

And that makes me, I mean, my brain, the gambling brain that I have,

is like he knows something, definitely bet on them.

Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, he's trying to get us off the scent.
Nice try, Greg. Got a sprinkle.
Yeah. Then my cool throne, I thought about putting it in my hot seat, but I don't want to sound like too much of a hater, but NASA's on the cool throne.
Yeah, that was mine. They launched a spaceship into a comet.
Yeah. Yeah, they launched a fullback.
I didn't like it. didn't like it I mean the video the video also like wasn't it was it was it was like clip art yeah it was choppy like you're watching you know old porn we should how is that possible we I millions of dollars of billions and billions and billions of dollars going to these things and they they can't get like an HD camera Good point, Hank.
Frames aren't jumping every two seconds?

My first reaction was similar to that. It looked like Claymation.

Yeah, my first reaction was like, this is stop-action

animation. We spent

probably hundreds of million dollars on this.

Billions. However much it was.

But then I thought to myself,

just wait, because they'll have a second camera

that was set up somewhere that has

the HD footage, and then we'll get to

watch that. It's going to look awesome.

I'm just waiting on that. Special effects.

It was my Cool Throne just because

I'm going to watch that. It's going to look awesome.
I'm just waiting on that. Special effects.
It was my cool throne just because they totally did this as just like, hey, look, we can prove that we did this. It's not like an asteroid is going to come and blow us all up.
It was just fun. We just wanted to prove to ourselves that we could do this.
No one worry about a potential asteroid killing us all. Ha-ha.
what that was my big takeaway like you just spent all that money to see that you could attach to like you know throw uh what was it a refrigerator basically at a rock 70 million space years away i feel like we have a big asteroid coming soon we drop so many bombs on earth day. Why don't we just throw all those bombs and blow something up and develop a point system and compete? Make it like a Space Olympics.
Oh, so you're saying the game Space Invaders. You put a bounty.
Yeah. It's like Big Buck Hunter except for asteroids.
And we compete with other countries and space programs. That's actually, Billy, you've said a lot of really good things on this show.
That's probably the smartest idea you've ever come up with. And we just compete that way.
So it's like Putin, you want to blow shit up? Whoever blows up that one first wins. And the winner gets, I don't know, mining rights to certain natural resources so your country is incentivized to get better at the Space Defenders game.
Yeah. It's just an Olympics out in space and winner gets all the land yeah that's fucking awesome really that would be cool i'm sure we believe for a degree on this yeah billy for you in yeah yeah i love it okay uh your hot seat cool throwing pft my hot seat is society american society to be specific all of us we participate in it um dude perfect is building a hundred million dollar dude facility in somewhere in texas undisclosed location an amusement park for dudes who like being perfect and i think we're going to look back on this and you know the history books and 300 400 500 years and whatever country takes over the United States where we're at right now and study like signs of American decline.
Why did this empire fall? Was it was it Trump? Was it Biden and inflation? Was it Putin launching a battlefield nuke in Ukraine? No, it was Kobe, Corey, Garrett, Purple Hoser, Beard Guy, and Beard Guy's dad building a giant monument to themselves in central Texas to the tune of $150 million. Yeah.
That is the tipping point of our society as a whole. I want to hate it so bad, but at this point it's just jealousy.
It looks sick. It's like these guys just basically have cracked the code of living a dream life i do still think it would suck to have to like work there because you have to be nice to everyone all the time like think about that it's like if the texas a&m yell leaders had their like took their ayahuasca and imagined their perfect life we're living inside of old rocks fever dream right now in college station.
Yeah. That's what dude.
Perfect. What was the, what was the, um, who was the rapper that we had on that, that has a, he's trying to, Akon.
Yeah. He's yeah.
It's Akon's new future. Yeah.
It's Akon. It's Akon for white guys.
Yes, exactly. I also liked that they threw out like, Hey, we're thinking about going somewhere else, which that's a great move of like, who's going to give us the least amount of taxes.
So wait, wait, the dudes are doing the NFL owner thing. Yeah, they were.
They were like, we're going to pack up and we're going to pack up and move the dudes out of town. Yeah, they were like, we would like it to be in Texas because we're from Texas.
But Atlanta, possibly you like, you know, L.A., possibly you. It's like, who's going to who's going to basically use all the city's money to build us this beautiful place you it's like who's gonna who's gonna basically use all

the city's money to build us this beautiful place it's like what amazon did when they were looking for h2 yes and aoc like close it down in new york yes yes so they're just getting everyone's hopes up um but yeah i'm sure it will be in san antonio so yeah the dudes yeah they did it again they did I did it again.

Yeah.

And then my cool throne is the number six the number six is on the cool throne alex caruso wears number six yes he does and he is trying to change his jersey number out of respect out of respect for bill russell because they're going to retire bill russell's jersey they're letting everyone that currently wears number six continue to to wear it. Alex Caruso, being the classy guy that he is, he decided he wanted to move on and show that respect to Bill Russell.
And the NBA is not letting him do it. So they're forcing him to wear the No.
6 throughout the entire season. I think it's because Alex Caruso sells so many jerseys.
He's a top 75 jersey sale. Yeah, he's a top 70.
That's got to do some good stuff for his top shot that I have, right? Like that shows that there's a market out there for Caruso collectors. That also feels a lot like, and I'm a huge Caruso fan, that does feel like an over nine MLK memorabilia.
Like he's probably 75th. Yes.
Did they say, oh, they said top 75? Yeah, top 75. So they just took whatever number Alex Caruso was going to be.
He's top 82. No, he might be 74.
I think I can name off the top of my head. I think I can name exactly 75 NBA players.
I mean, Alex Caruso's the man. So it makes sense.
He is the man. So he's going to be wearing number six this year.
But just out of respect, just imagine that it's a different number than six. Yes, yes.
Okay, so I already did my cool throne with the totally fake, like, oh, we're just going to throw this at the Asteroid and it's not because we're practicing for something. My hot seat is the Nets, media day, the Nets, all of them getting together.
Kevin Durant was basically like, there was a lot. He said there was a lot of uncertainty around our team last year.
We came to a mutual agreement that we should keep moving forward. And I think Kyrie said something like, yeah, it's pretty awkward.
This is not going to work. This is so awesome.
They basically spent an entire summer saying the shittiest things about each other, being like September will never come. We'll never have to be in the same room again together.
And September is here, and it's just as awkward as you thought it would be. Yep.
I love it. I love it so much.
I mean, the team is going to be about the same as it was last year. Well, Ben Simmons.
It's going to be even more hilarious than it was last year. Yeah.
Imagine if they're just good. I can't wait, honestly, because you don't know what you're going to get from the Nets this year, but you do know that it's not going to be normal.
Yeah, I hope they're really, really good and then get swept in the first round. That would never happen.
That would be very funny. That would never.
They're going to whomp whoever they play in the first round. Easy whomping.
Billy. My hot seat is the Buccaneers stadium staff.
So we saw Aaron Rodgers said he saw something on the Jumbotron postgame against the Bucs. So did some internet sleuthing, and there's no footage of it, but the rumor that's going around from recent tweets from in the stadium at the time of the game before Rogers said anything, as well as Reddit posts, apparently from the hearsay on the Jumbotron was a shot over Tom Brady's shoulder of a huddle and seeing the flood right two-point conversion play, which if you look at the defense the Packers played to defend that play, you see that there were six guys in the area of the flood.
So that's a little overbalancing of a defensive coverage, even though it was going right. But think that aaron rogers saw this on the

jumbotron on the surface pad that showed a flood right play and that's how they knew what the two point conversion was i thought the bucks uh stadium staff was gonna be on the hot seat because hurricanes about to wreck all their lives yeah from the standpoint i actually had to say that From the standpoint of water.

Yeah.

They're on the hot seat.

They all wash away.

They have to worry about their families right now yeah uh is it is it legal sleuthing billy is it legal to look at the scoreboard because i know that refs aren't supposed to look at the scoreboard at all right yeah for replays and stuff yeah but it should be there was a tweet that was done before that post-game speech was even made, so that's why I'm cutting to the point in thinking that it was real. Yeah.
Hank, now's the time to be like, somehow they're going to blame Tom Brady for this and suspend him four games. You said it, not me.
No, I'll tell you exactly why. The league issued a memo a memo saying that hey tom brady you're not allowed to smash tablets anymore and so tom brady would have smashed that tablet and instead it caught him holding the tablet which was then broadcast into the jumbotron that gave the play to aaron rogers so if brady had if it was up to, he would have smashed that tablet a long time ago.

It sounds like the de-Bradification of the NFL yet once again.

And my cool throne is Wake Forest head coach Dave Clawson.

So during the game against Clemson, so as some of you know, Dabo Swinney's sons are on the team.

And they're in places where you can kind of hide them.

Like Holder, you know, fourth quarter wide receiver. I'm going to push back on that because i don't think you can hide at holder right but you're either good or you're not yeah it's a very simple job okay i'm a hater i've i've been a holder really yeah when i was like third string quarterback okay um it's an easy job so so he was on some people off with that one, Billy.
Okay. Never mind.
Holder community is going to be real mad. If you're a decent – if you can catch – they put freshmen as holders.
Billy's about to be canceled by the holders. I know the holders are going to get pissed.
It's high pressure, and if you're at Clemson and you screw up a hold, you got Potter kicking. There's a big magnifying glass on you now.
And you got your you got your dad as your coach well i think that's why i think we need to do more respecting of the holder community and especially of of swinney whatever will swinney uh drew swinney i don't know well drew swinney is the one i'm talking about but drew swinney was on kick return and several times throughout the game the um Wake Forest kicker kicked it directly at Swinney. So they were trying to expose him in their kick return, and they did.
He returned it for nine yards to the Clemson 19, the Clemson 15, the Clemson 11, and it got to the point where Dabo had to take his son and put a kid in. So, I mean, that's just great.
That's good coaching on the part of Wake Forest. Just attack.
And then when they put a new guy in, they did the same thing, and he took it to the 30s. I mean, it's a genius move to be like, that's the coach's son.
We know why he's on the field at this point. I like it.
Let's just kick it to him. I like it.
Jake, finish us off. My hot seat is smiling.
There's this new movie coming out called Smile.

Oh, yeah.

And they're planting people at sporting events with creepy smiles. It's going viral.

I saw that the other day.

There was a West Coast game.

It was Sunday Night Football.

Yeah, and there was also a baseball game that they were doing it at front row.

It's weird.

So if you're just smiling, you're going to get on camera?

No, it's a creepy smile.

Yeah, they planned a member when they did it.

I think, didn't they do this for IT?

Yeah, they had the clowns show up places.

Yeah, IT.

They actually never claimed that because it became such an issue.

Right.

And then there was copycats who were just causing chaos.

So they were like, we're going to release this movie two years later.

Yeah.

Be on the lookout for anyone who's smiling.

They're probably up to something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And my Cool Throne's actually the two of you guys.

Oh.

You are both in the final few groupings of the Barstool Mini Golf Invitational. Oh.
Final round airs tomorrow night. Wow.
The back nine. PFT at the moment, you're one back of Jeff D.
Lowe. Big Cat, you're going to need a little bit of a miracle.
You're five back with nine to play. I had a mental issue.
I'm not the mental game. But you could always come back.
That's why I can shoot a 72 one day and a 132 the next. Yeah, so you're both in the mix.
Round five aired last night, Tuesday. It's on the Barstool Sports YouTube.
Okay. And we will crown a champion Thursday night.
So great, cool thrown. Also cool thrown Jake because you should use promo code Jake on the Barstool Sports store.
Billy, it's not your turn to talk, Billy. I actually wanted to plug there.
We have Spaces fake t-shirts if you like that. No, no, no.
Yeah, use promo code Jake. Use promo code Jake.
10% off. It ends on Wednesday at 1 o'clock.
If you're listening in the morning, you can help out. You can do it.
Yeah, please help out. Use promo code Jake so that Suit Hank can't win this.
And Billy, we don't want Billy. Billy's fake charity offer.
We can't have that either. That was a pathetic display of fake charity.
How is it fake charity? You said if I win, I'm keeping my money, and then I'm giving the rest of charity. I'm going to put all the money on a bet, and if I win the bet, I'll give the winnings to charity.
If I was charity, I wouldn't take Billy's. Well, I already chose my charity.
What is it? Savethefrogs.org. Okay.
So have you chosen your bet?

It's going to be on the Thursday night game.

Well, that's more important because if you lose the bet,

the frogs are going to die.

I think I'm going to go.

Is this a charity you started for yourself?

No.

It's actually an amphibian conservation organization

to protect against chitrid fungus, which is invasive.

Savethefrogs.com.

First order of business.

Arrest Billy Football so he can't fuck any frogs to death. But shout out, Jake.
We all hope that Jake wins. Jake does a great job, as you've just heard, promoting other people all the time.
This is a good way to get back and say thank you, Jake, for all that you do. Here's some money.
Hank, would you like to say promo code Jake? Sure. Promo code Jake and go watch the mini golf.
OK, nice. Wow.
Beautiful. promo code Jake that's really nice don't Hank why say it Hank why did you say it that way I'm just curious how why are you so openly promoting Jake I feel like you just made a great point he's always promoting is that why is that why you're promoting him right now good point PFT is there another reason why I just want what's best for the company and what's best for the company is merch orders?

I don't know if that's necessarily true.

I think that there might be some shenanigans.

I actually feel bad for Jake.

Why?

Shenanigans.

Oh, is there something going on?

There might have been some shenanigans.

Are we keeping the shenanigans?

I didn't know that it was a secret shenanigans.

A secret shenanigans.

Use promo code Billy if you're anti-shenanigans. Tell me the shenanigans.
I want to hear the shenanigans? I didn't know that it was a secret shenanigans. No, I mean, this won't air until later, so yes, say the shenanigans.
Use promo code Billy if you're anti-shenanigans. No, tell me the shenanigans.
I want to hear the shenanigans. Hank put a full-court press on Jake and Billy yesterday.
Not a full-court press at all. It was a full-court press.
What did you do? I offered them a deal, and they took it. They could have not taken it.
Hank pretty much put a gun to their head and said, I'm going to do a stream tonight. And on this stream.
Which I did. For every order that I get, I'm going to stay on the stream as long as necessary.
Which I did. And I plan on staying on the stream until 9 o'clock in the morning and not going to sleep at night.
Now, unless you guys want to team up with me and second place, we can all split it together. When Jake took the deal, so basically the way Hank phrased it was

take the deal

or I'm going to ensure

or Hank's going to ensure he gets second place.

What about I said, I'm going to

gun for second place as hard as I possibly can.

Hank said, Hank, take the deal or sold this.

Hold on one second. I'm still in this competition.

Yes, you are. I knew this was going to happen.

I knew this was going to happen. Should we maybe do a different deal with me? I already have my deal handshaked all set.
I'll make a deal with you. If you guys want to make a deal with me, I'll go.
I've done like two tweets. I'll make a deal with you.
I could go full court press on everyone's ass. If you go.
Wait, wait. I'll make a deal with you.
Okay. I'll make a deal with you, too.
Because Hank can't over, Hank thought, Hank phrased it as though he was about to overtake all of us because he's the only one who can see the numbers, but he couldn't last night. That's not true.
I can't see the numbers. I did phrase it in a way that.
So what deal would you guys like to do with me? You guys took the deal. I'll give you half the money if you promo me.
You already took Hank's deal. Yeah, but I could make another deal.
You're doing the Mac from Always Sunny right now. I can make two deals.
You're doing the Mac from Always Sunny right now. Honestly, I think that we should cut this part out because...
No, wait, wait. I shouldn't have said anything because Jake was worried that the AWOs will get mad at him for taking a deal.
I didn't want to put you out there, Jake. Jake kind of got lost.
I apologize. I just want...
Max is going to put it out anyway. Yeah, I was already putting out this video.
The video is already made. So, but my question is...
No, no, no, no. Let me ask you a question.
Let me ask you a question. No, be first.
Let me ask you a question. I was born second.
Hank's basically robbing Jake. Let me ask you a question.
I didn't do anything. You guys, I offered you a deal and you took it.
Okay, so that's your question. So now my question.
Is that wrong? Yeah, you strong-armed them. You're their boss.
I could... You guys are...
Everyone's so soft. PFT, we could...
I know. We could just push mine and we could just go fucking crazy on my promo code.
Wait, what about this? I could just give it all to Jake. Maybe me, you, and Max will split it.
And memes. And memes.
Yeah, yeah. I'm down for that.
That would be nice. Wouldn't that be nice? How much money is it? I think it's like 15, 25,000.
Hank, how much money is it? First is 15. Second and third splits.
It's eight for second, two for third. So if I went really hard.
What if we pushed yours and then we gave that money to to kate that also kate wins all of it yeah actually no i think we should give some i think we should give it to jake well the problem is all jake did he was trying to do the right thing and hank just came in like a fucking banshee and was like hey you need to do what i say or else i'm going to fuck up your world. That's pretty much what I thought.

If Hank was going to make my next 48 hours miserable,

or I'll take the deal.

What are you talking about?

I said I'm going to go as hard as I can to come in second place

if you don't take the deal.

You said you were going to do it out of spite.

Hank is the only one with the insight into the numbers as well.

I think the difference between Hank and I

is actually several hundred.

This is an unbelievable sob story of making your guys sound like the victim. I can't even believe what I'm hearing.
I mean, you took the deal. How old are you? Are you a child? I took the deal.
I took the deal. Was there a lawyer? The worst part about this deal is that I benefit more than Hank does.
I don't want to get into the details of it. I just...
And I was saying don't do it the whole time. I'll decide later.
Maybe we... I don't know.
I just wanted to be... The problem I'm wrestling with is if I want to go crazy, I'm going to have to work all night and I don't want to do that.
So... The good thing is...
Maybe I'll have memes just take over my account and just fucking tweet nonstop. The good thing is this entire thing is documented and will be on PMTV on Thursday.
Love it. So you can watch it watch it.
The entire thing that happened there and make your own decisions. Is I strong arming, Max? I personally think that I still want to see Jake come in second.
Me too. I don't think that Jake can surpass Kate right now because she's got a lead.
I still want Jake to get the money. That's why we started to promote Jake from the beginning.
I did do a handshake deal. Whether I regret it or not.
It's a different story, but I did do that and I will honor that if it ends up. I also already told Jake I wasn't going to take the money from him.
That's getting not factored in. Cut that part, Max.
I'm going to continue. But then Jake's like, oh, you made me do it.
I never said that. I'm going to continue to promote Jake and Jake can do with his money whatever he wants to do once he gets it.

If that's, you know, give it to whoever out of the goodness of his heart,

that's what Jake does.

It's just more evidence that Jake is a team player

that he took this deal to begin with,

which is further evidence of why we should use his promo code.

Yes.

Okay, so tune in.

We'll let you know who wins on Wednesday at 1 o'clock.

Merchapalooza.

Tears this company apart.

You happy, Hank?

Promo code Billy.

Promo code Jake.

Promo code Jake.

Promo code Jake.

Promo code Jake.

Promo code Jake.

I just don't want Hank to beat me.

But you're splitting it evenly.

You took the deal.

Promo code Jake.

Promo code Hank.

The only thing that can fuck you now

is this guy. I know.
That's why. Do you want to make a deal? So I might.
Newcomer might steal the deal. Promo code Jake.
Promo code Hank. The only thing that can fuck you now is this guy.
I know. That's why.
Do you want to make a deal? I might. Newcomer might steal the show.
All right. Let's get to Derek Jeter.
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two free pillows for our listeners go to helix sleep.com slash take with helix better sleep starts now and here he is derrick jeter okay we now welcome on a very very very special guest It is Derek Jeter, the captain, hall of famer.

He also has a new apparel brand called greatness wins which I was looking at the site looks like great stuff you're doing with Wayne Gretzky is this year like I can just name a company whatever I want because I'm Derek Jeter moment because greatness wins like you could like if I had an apparel company be like mediocrity like you probably would still look fat but you have greatness wins you know what I'm gonna be honest with you look I obviously throughout my career I'm wearing athletic apparel right for everything that I do and I think one you know one thing you realize is is when you're an athlete I mean you have certain tools that help you form and, you know, playing baseball, obviously it's a baseball and a bat. Those aren't going to change, but athletic apparel, you know, we start thinking about what would you do differently? I've been blessed.
I've had great relationships with a couple of athletic brands throughout my career and, you know, wanted to just focus on performance first. You know, that's what's most important and quality, fit, consistency, sustainability.
But I do encourage everyone, thanks for going on our site. I encourage everyone to go take a look, order something, greatnesswins.com.
And I'm very confident you're going to circle back and order some more. So it's something that I'm extremely proud of.
I started having conversations with my, my partner probably about a year and a half ago. And a guy by the name of Chris Riccobono who started Untuckit.
And we had those conversations and here we are, you know, about a year and a half later we launched our brand and, and you know, you talk about the name greatness ones. I think a lot of times people look at greatness and they think it's an ultimate goal.
I look at it as a mindset, you know? So I look at, you know, having that mindset and anything that you want to achieve. So I appreciate you checking it out.
You need to order some, I'll send some to you guys. And I expect to start seeing you where it is.
Absolutely. Who would you say has more greatness? You or Wayne Gretzky? Ooh.
Well, Wayne's the great one. I mean, I'm not even going to go down that path i mean he's he's the one yeah i think that's probably fair we're going to get into um i'm sure a lot of your career and uh your playing days but i i'd like to start off if it's okay with you with a personal gripe that i have with you only have one that's a good thing well this i've got several and we can get to the rest the biggest one by far, and I think a lot of our fans want to hear this ask to you and really hold your feet to the fire, why did you take down the Miami statue in the outfield of the Marlins that would go up in circles every time they'd hit a home run? We didn't take it down.
We moved it. Okay, why did you remove it? It seems like we can choose to tear down statues all we want, but history is still there.
I really wanted that to be left up. That was my favorite part of that ballpark.
It's still up. Do you get down there in Miami much? We went down for the All-Star game a couple years ago.
I just wish it was still in center field so I'd see that big giant fish go up in the air every time someone hit a home run. So, yeah, no, it's still outside of the park, so you can go see see they actually uh moved it because we needed the space you know i think you talk about sports nowadays um you know fans don't want to sit in their seats and talk to the person on their left and their right they want to move around have more social spaces so it was we moved that because we needed the space in center field we didn't tear it down we moved it yeah if we're going to do gri, I might as well get to my gripe as well.
Do you think things would have gone differently if you had maybe worked a little more with Marlon's man and done Marlon's man Mondays that he proposed to you? He's a friend of ours, and I don't know. From his perspective, he dominated the negotiation with you, because I think he offered you a blank check, or maybe you offered him him one i can't remember how it went but do you think it would have gone a little different if you had maybe you know hired him as like president of the team or something uh differently might be a good way to put it i don't know how you define differently but it probably would have gone a little bit differently i'm pretty sure but i am positive I didn't offer him a blank check.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he offered me a blank check, I might have done it.
Yeah. His demands were reasonable.
I think he wanted to, like, bring the lineup card out at every home game. Yeah.
I think he wanted – He wanted a day that was literally for him every single week. Yeah.
I thought he was being more than fair. When he approached you, and I'm sure this is – these are the most Marlins man's questions that you've ever gotten in an interview, but when he came up to you at that first town hall and said, do you know who I am, did you know who he was? I had heard.
You know, you see him on TV, every sporting event with that orange jersey, so it's hard to miss seeing him there. But I didn't know who he who he was i knew his name and they pointed him out to me before we uh before we got started yeah just just to set the record straight he's not trying to get on tv he's just a big baseball fan that wears his marlins jersey in all the other parks and he just happens to get on tv so he's not trying to do that exactly exactly yeah humble yeah okay all right we're all on the same page yeah we're this is good we're all marlins man's fans we're all we're all yeah this is a good common ground here we all we all know in our purse close personal friends with marlins man's here i got it i got it yeah yeah um all right so uh i i mean i i your career is so incredible i watched the whole documentary i was kind of enthralled with it um you.
What do you think in terms of the reception from the documentary? Did you walk away being like, I feel like that was good. I got my full story out there? Or are you still like people don't know the full Derek Jeter because you had such a private, separate life from the public persona? You know what? I'll be honest with you.
When we first started going down this path, I wanted to film the potential Hall of Fame call that I was going to get, right? You know, everyone said you should film it so you have the footage. And I wanted to film it so I could share it with my girls.
I had two girls at the time. They were both very young.
They didn't know what was going on. So I wanted to film that.
And then if I was to get inducted, I wanted to film the induction ceremony just so I can have it. And then that turned into a larger discussion.
And I was asked, you want to do a documentary covering your entire career? I said, absolutely not. I said, absolutely not.
There's just no way I would do it. And I just started thinking about it more.
And I said, okay, you know, if we're going to go down this path, I want to make sure, you know, whether there was times in my career where there was friction here or there. I wanted everyone else to be able to voice their opinions and give their side of the story as well.
So turned into seven episodes, man. I mean, I sat down north of 30 something hours talking about.
I know you guys talk quite a bit, but you ever talk about yourself for 30 somethingsomething hours, you run out of things to say. So we interviewed North, I think 90 people, and I'm very, very happy with it.
I didn't want to do a puff piece. Like I said, I wanted to make sure everyone else could chime in and give them a platform as well.
But I'm happy I did it, and everything that I've heard has been has been pretty positive for the most part. Yeah, I enjoyed it very much.
Yeah, it's very cool to be able to look back at your career and have so many people weigh in and kind of see what it means to other people and see what it meant to yourself when you're looking back and like retroactively at it. But when you were a kid, when you're growing up, I have to imagine that, that um well for a lot of people their dream life would be what your life was where you know you win World Series you're the captain of the Yankees everybody like has nothing but good things to say about you throughout your career uh for the most part and we'll get to maybe some of the detractors later I've got some notes later we can get into but as a kid like would what was your dream did you did you like fall asleep at night thinking I want to play shortstop for the New York Yankees I want to win World Series and and how did your life actually end up comparing to everything that you wanted it to be when you were a kid yeah that's the old when I was a kid you know my dad played shortstop so so he was my first role model and I wanted to be my dad that's why that's why I fell in love with the position.
And, you know, I was born in New Jersey. My grandmother has, I mean, yeah, my grandmother has 14 kids.
My mom has 13 brothers and sisters. We used to spend every summer in New Jersey at her house and she was the big Yankee fan.
So that's what made me fall in love with, with the Yankees. I grew up in Michigan, but I'd go back every summer.
So I always wanted to be shortstop for the New York Yankees, and there was no other dream there. And look, I mean, I was blessed.
I was fortunate. I was lucky.
I don't know how you want to define it, but just being drafted by the Yankees, having a chance to spend my entire career with one organization, man, you don't dream of all that. You just dream of actually getting to the major leagues and playing for the Yankees.
Every kid dreams of playing in a World Series. You don't really know what it's going to feel like to win one.
And then we had a lot of success, man. I was blessed.
I had a lot of great teammates. We had a lot of success, especially early on in my career.
My life is that's been blessed. And I it's to answer your question.
It's much more than I could ever dream. Yeah, I mean, it is really your career as a storybook career.
But the one thing I appreciated in your documentary, and it's something that only the true great ones kind of have, is it does feel like the losses hurt you so much more than the wins. And that 2001 series when they go through everything and you're talking about it, is that something – how often still to this day, Derek Jeter, you know, family man, you're at home, you got other things going on, does it just pop in your head every now and then? You're like, fuck.
No question. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah.
I got a couple friends that have won more championships, man, so don't think they don't constantly remind me of it. So you always think about, you know, the times that you, you feel as though, like I said, in the documentary, every loser says, Oh, we should have won.
Right. That's, that's what you say.
But, uh, you have those times where you get so close and you feel as though you had a team that was capable of winning. So that you're right, man.
It's, it's, I guess I'm wired a little bit differently. I don't, I don't know if I'm necessarily proud of it, but, but for me, I think about those times that we could have won.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that was so close, and it's – there's something about the guys who are wired that way because I think, you know, you had such a crazy career that you could just be like, well, it was all – I mean, we won five titles.
Like, what are we talking about here? Like, one of the best of all time. But the guys who are wired different, it's like, no, no, no, we should have won eight.
You have won you remember the losses yeah we should have won nine we should have done this yeah and i and i just always had i didn't appreciate um my career as much as i probably should have when i was going through it you know because it's always here you heard me saying in the documentary it's always what's next man what's next like you know you celebrate for a couple weeks and then it's we got to get on to the next one so like I said I think that's just a character for all mine yeah uh you played a pretty pivotal uh pivotal role in one of the most iconic baseball moments of the last I'd say 100 years and that's George W Bush's first pitch at game three so legend has it you were you were talking to him and you were kind of giving him some tips before the game. What was it like when he was taking warm-ups? Did you see something in his motion? You're like, hey, let's tweak this, let's tweak that.
Or what was your advice to him before he stepped out there on the mound? Yeah, as much as I'd like to take credit for the perfect strike he threw, I can. This was the old Yankee Stadium, and the batting cages were about I would say maybe 100 yards from the clubhouse so I had a routine that I did every day I used to go down in the cages right before the game and just get a few swings in to get loose and you know I'm walking down to the cage and the whole tunnel's lined with secret service so everyone's talking about how nervous they were post 9-11 with the president of the United States in Yankee Stadium.
I felt it was the safest place in the world to be because, you know, there was nothing going to happen at Yankee Stadium that particular night. So I went down to the batting cage and I saw the president and, you know, he said he's throwing out the first pitch and he was getting loose.
And I said, hey, man, just make sure, you know, you're going to throw up from the mound or you're going to throw up from the mound? And he says, what do you think? I said, man, throw up from the mound you're gonna throw from in front of the mound and he says what do you think i said man throw from the mound i said i think you should do that and then when i was leaving i turned around i said don't bounce it because if you bounce it they'll boo you it's yankee stadium and and he threw a perfect strike i don't know how he did it didn't realize he had a bulletproof vest on at the time and uh you know funny thing is i i since i retired i i haven't swung a bat i've only thrown a ball a couple times it's when they um retired my number in 2017 and just a few weeks ago they had a hall of fame ceremony at yankee stadium i threw out the first pitch and both times i threw it out from in front of the mound so so they booed me they actually last time they started to boo when when I was in front of the mound. So it's an intimidating experience to throw out the first pitch.
Yeah, that's fantastic. So talking about other moments, our office is in New York.
We have a lot of Mets and Yankees fans, a lot of Mets fans, a lot of Derek Jeter haters. So this is not a question for me.
It's a question from the Derek Jeter haters. Some of the Derek Jeter haters would say that you kind of hot-dogged it when you jumped into the stands and got your face bloody.
Some people are even saying, like, Stone Cold Steve Austin, you had a razor blade underneath the seat and you cut yourself a little. Do you think you probably could have just maybe caught it and not used all those extra steps to make the theatrical jump into the stands? Actually, it was two steps.
And if you went to the old Yager

Stadium, unfortunately, you can't go because it's not there. But there was not a lot of foul ground

behind third base. So trust me, if I could have stopped, I would have stopped.
But you're running

full speed. And actually, I've said it, the catch was not hard.
It really wasn't hard. It was a

foul ball. You're running full speed.
But I had fallen into the photographer's pit a few years

Thank you. and they actually, I've said it, the catch was not hard.
It really wasn't hard. It was a foul ball, you're running full speed.
But I had fallen into the photographer's pit a few years prior to the postseason, and it's all cement. So I knew where I was going, and I just thought if I jumped over the photographer's pit, I'd just land in someone's lap, and unfortunately it was the one seat that didn't have anyone sitting in it.
But no, to question I absolutely could not stop so you got rid of old Yankee Stadium so no one could actually go back and recreate it exactly that's that's what I did just for the fans I just had them tear down the old Yankee Stadium so they couldn't go out and and how how often would you have I mean Yankee you know being in New York like there it is crazy how passionate uh the two fan bases are how much they hate each other would you get – I mean, Yankee, you know, being in New York, like it is crazy how passionate the two fan bases are,

how much they hate each other.

Would you get people on the streets being like, fuck you, Derek,

from Mets fans and stuff?

Mets fans, no, because Mets fans didn't have anything to say.

Really.

You know what I mean?

They didn't win.

We played them in the World Series in 2000, and I've said that was the one series that we absolutely could not lose. You know, I have and I'm not joking when I say it I would probably moved out of the city I lived in Manhattan my whole career I would have moved if we would have lost to the Mets but really Mets fans couldn't say anything yeah yeah it's a good feeling and Red Sox fans couldn't for a while until 2004 I got I have to admit I got caught up in uh in kind of the the Red Sox bandwagon 2004 i bought the shirt it said like the entire lineup on the back passata sucks williams sucks and at the end and jeter swallows i thought that was a really good burn on you uh i was actually at game seven in new york for that for that closeout game i've wondered like you seem like a guy that that probably still affects when you think about kind of like that 2001 World Series.

As it was happening, when did you reach the moment where you're like,

oh, shit, we might actually lose this series?

Man, I don't think you ever, you know, it's –

well, first of all, thanks for bringing up all of our losses.

I appreciate you guys.

I'm glad I came on the show, man.

Thanks.

But, you know, people talk about us losing.

We lost four games in a row to Boston, but we beat them three games in a row. Right.
To get a 3-0 lead. So it just goes to show you anything can happen in the playoffs.
But even when we lost game six, I thought we were going to win game seven. You know, because if you think about it at the time, Boston always found a way to screw it up.
they just did and and and we had all the confidence in the world but uh yeah they beat us pretty good there in game seven so um you know I don't think you ever lose confidence but uh they had a lot of confidence I mean down 3-0 it's tough a lot of teams would have rolled over but uh they had a really good team that year so uh I'll give you a good one because then you can talk about your wins. Let's rank your rings.
Which ones are most meaningful? Let's rank the – I'm sorry, say that again? Let's rank your rings. Let's rank the five rings.
Which one do you like, you know, the most meaningful? Obviously, they're all special and everything, but I would imagine there's one that means a little something extra. Would it be the last one? Oh, man.
You have kids?

You guys have kids?

Yeah.

How many?

Two.

Yeah, it's kind of like when someone says, you know, who's your favorite kid?

Even if you have one, you're not going to say it.

Yeah, my daughter.

I like my daughter more than my son.

So there we go.

I answered that.

So now you have to answer this.

No, you know what?

I tell you what, man.

Anytime you do something for the first time, it's new.

And you're going through experiences. You're experiencing the parade for the first time.
You're experiencing the attention. You're going down the streets.
Everyone has Yankee shirts on, Yankee hats on. They're congratulating you on winning the World Series.
So the first always stands out. Man, then you got the Mets.
We're playing the Mets. And that, you know, we had to win that World Series, like I like I said and then at 2009 it's been nine years since we had won the World Series so it's tough but but I'd probably say maybe the first one just because yeah it's okay to just say that the one against the Padres like was the least meaningful because they just barely put up a fight like that's fine that's totally fine you know the one against san diego we knew they had no chance i mean we were 125 wins that year we were 125 and 50 so that's tough to do we steamrolled most most teams that year that's a crazy record that really is it is yeah i mean at any point over the course of that season did you feel like you were on autopilot where you know that your team is so good that there's absolutely nothing anybody can do to stop you? Well, you know what? That's a good question because.
Thank you. 1998 towards the end of the year, we actually scuffled for a couple of weeks and going back to Yankee fans, watching every game.
I remember, you know, we had, we had won a division in April. I mean, we had already won.
And I remember walking the streets in New York towards the end of September and fans, you know, yelling, we better turn it around and we better, you know, the playoffs are coming and what's going on. And they watched every single game.
So we had a period where we scuffled a little bit, but I think every team is going to struggle at some point. I think that's when you find out how good you are.
But for the most part, that year was – I mean, I'm a little biased, but I put that team up there against any team. Yeah, I mean, it was an incredible team.
And it is true. Baseball is so weird that, like, it's just so many games.
So there's always going to be a stretch where, you know, you lose a couple series in a row. In terms of leadership, like, were you, you weren't a rah-rah guy, but watching one of the cool parts of the documentary was you talking about the late 90s Yankees and then the transition to those 2000s Yankees where you lose some veteran guys and you have to become the veteran guy.
Do you think there was a moment where it clicked more for you for being like a leader and bringing all that team together uh versus when you were the young guy and you had all the veterans around you yeah you know i think there's look you know i've always heard people say oh well you're quiet you know you're not the rah-rah guy i didn't do things for the camera you know every player knows i don't care what sports you play you know which camera's on you because you just just look at the red light at the top. So and I think if you're waiting for the camera to be on for you to go and approach a teammate or for you to get in someone's face, you're doing it so everyone can see it.
You know, I was I was vocal, but I did it in my own way. I did it behind the scenes.
I did it in private. You know, there's a lot of times, you know, guys you can yell and scream at gets the most out of them.
Other guys, you got to give them a hug. And, you know, you got to take the time to get to know your teammates.
So, you know, I just always tried to do it ever since I was younger. I was blessed.
I came up with a lot of veterans I learned from. And then, like you say, I was there.
I was there for 20 years. So teammates change.
You guys come in. We had a lot of leaders on our team, which I think is one of the reasons why we were able to have so much success.
But, you know, we went through a stretch where we didn't win championships. And it just goes to show you it's tough to do.
You know, everyone says, you know, one thing I hate is when players say, I want to go somewhere where I can win. What do you mean you want to go? There's a lot of shit in life I want want too.
You don't say – just because you say you want it doesn't mean you get it. You got to be willing to work at it.
So, yeah, winning is tough, man. It really is.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who is that guy for you, the guy that would get in your face or give you a hug that kind of brought you along and took a leadership role when you were coming up? When I came up, man, I don't necessarily know if it was someone that was getting in my face because you know i was self-motivated but but uh mr tory joe tory i mean he he was pretty much i played for buck showalter for just a few weeks in 1995 but but mr t i think he was he was probably as good as it gets he's the best communicator i've ever known or ever been around um and you know he, he treated everyone fairly. He didn't treat everyone the same, but he treated everyone fairly.
So I learned quite a bit from him. So this might be the toughest question you ever get.
It's something I'm very fascinated with. At what moment do you think you officially earned your pinstripes? Ah, man.
Yeah. Playoffs.
You got to do it in the playoffs, man yeah playoffs you gotta do it in the playoffs man

you gotta do it in the playoffs at least now you have to do it in the playoffs right because you

know i think there's this level of expectations that come with playing for the yankees and it's

the expectation level that we all set you know because before we came up i said a young group

of us that came up yankees hadn't had a lot of success you know and won a world series 70s

Thank you. set you know because before we came up i said a young group of us that came up yankees haven't had a lot of success you know and won a world series 70s and then we come up when we started having a lot of success so now you hear a lot of times people say oh well the expectation for the yankees is world series or bust well you know they got a group of players that need to get to the world series first you know i said the season was a we won my first year.
You know, after you win, there's nothing else you can do but to win again. So, you know, the expectation level now is so high, and it's understandable because Yankee fans, they look – they were spoiled, we were spoiled.
But getting there and winning is tough. So Aaron Judge, pinstripes?

It seems like by that criteria, he's yet to earn them.

No, I mean, man, Aaron, he's performed in the playoffs.

You know, he is performing in the playoffs.

I think that, you know, Yankee fans pay attention to what you do in the postseason.

They can pretty much care.

I remember when we had new players come to the organization,

I'd say, hey, look, we have 30 games in spring training. We have 162 games in the regular season, and that's before it counts.
You know, you're playing 190 games before anything counts. So, you know, you talk about Aaron, he's performed in the playoffs.
You're yet to win, you know, a World Series or get to a World Series, but he's performed. Did A-Rod need – did you guys need to win in 2009 for him to earn his pinstripes? Oh, man.
I think from a perception standpoint, especially from a Yankee perception, Yankee fan perception standpoint, I think, yeah, definitely. And I think you ask him, he'd probably tell you the same thing.
I don't want to speak for him, but I'm sure he'd tell you the same. I know A-Rod pretty well.
You used to do a podcast with him. How's your relationship with him now? It good man it's good you know we we um we got together recently you know one i wanted him to be a part of the documentary you know i told him i say man say whatever you want give your opinion and uh you know we got together and i said look you know i'm just when it comes to the documentary i'm letting you know how i felt at the time a lot of things happen in You know, I have a family now, you know, you lose close friends, you know, you get older, you realize what's most important and things that you can just put in the past.
So, you know, I wanted him to make sure that he understood that any feelings I may have had, or he may have had, once again, I don't want to speak for him, but what any feelings I may have has behind me, right? So, so we've moved on from that. I did, I did respect and I love your angle for him, but any feelings I may have had behind me.
So we've moved on from that. I did respect and I love your angle of like you have your circle of trust, you have your inner circle, and if you're out, you're out.
Like if you do something, you're out. I think that's how a lot of athletes get a little bit burned nowadays is that they might make their circle a little too big or they're not as discerning when it comes to who they trust.
You were able, like, is that something you just always have had? Were you able to be like, I know this guy's in this for me, not for himself type of situation? Yeah. I mean, I've always had trust issues.
I've mentioned that in the documentary and it's not necessarily something that I say I'm proud of, right? You know, I meet people a lot of times. I think I've softened a little bit as I've gotten older, but it always was, you know, you meet someone and the first thing that goes through your mind is what's the angle, you know, and I don't think once again, I don't, it could be a character flaw, right? But I've had, you know, pretty much for the same group of friends and people that I've trusted for years and years, my closest friends, I've known them for 20, 25 years plus.
And, you know, that's okay. But, yeah, I've said it before.
Maybe it is a character flaw, but I just have always had issues trusting people. I think it's pretty realistic, though, because I'd imagine that a lot of people that you do meet do have an angle.
I don't think it's all in your head. I think in the position you're in is, you know, at one point you were probably, you know, one of the top three or four most famous athletes in the United States.
Somebody's going to have something that they want from you. It's, it's very hard to find like a, a brand new genuine relationship with someone.
So I don't necessarily think that's it. That's a character flaw.
I want to play this game with you. We do this with every guest.
It's called questions from a third gradader. So we reached out and Miss Joyce's third grade class.
Are these your questions? These are your questions. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm actually older. You can trust us, dude.
I'm older than eight years old. His trust issues are real.
I might be small. I don't know how far you went to school.
Okay, so no, it's from Mrs. Joyce's third grade class in Dripping Springs, Texas.
The first one is from Johnny.

Johnny wants to know, Derek, what's your favorite color?

My favorite color is blue.

Okay, cool.

Timmy wants to know, Derek, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Shortstop and Yankees.

Okay.

And then Sarah, Sarah wants to know, Derek, why didn't you switch to playing third base

when your defense at shortstop had clearly started to suffer towards the end of your career? It was never asked. I do what I'm told.
Third grade, you do what you're told, right? Uh-huh. It was never asked.
That's a good answer. So no one ever broached that subject with you against Sarah Watson? Never brought up in my entire career.
Never was I approached about switching positions. All right.
Along those same lines, let's make a headline. Were you ever close to leaving as a free agent? Did you ever envision playing for any other team? No.
And you could say literally any team because then we could make a headline out of it, be like Derek Jeter dreamed about playing for the Pirates, and we'll put it on a headline. Could you just say it? Absolutely not, man.
You man. I said it in the documentary too, and this is God's honest truth.
The only time I was a free agent, I walked in and told Hal Steinbrenner, I said, I'm not going anywhere. I said, I've told my agent, if anyone calls, not assuming anyone would call, but I said, if anyone calls, don't take it because I'm not going anywhere.
I said treat me fairly and that was it so I never crossed my mind to leave never wanted to leave um yeah I know a lot of things became public during the negotiations but never crossed my mind in the Yankees the other um you know the dealing with the tabloids was probably very annoying uh during your career I did I do have, though, that headline when you looked a little fat and it said Derek Eater, like you got to admit that was funny. Man, it was.
Let me tell you something. You talk about trust, right? So after that came out, I was actually in Miami at a hotel.
Afterwards, I went up to a couple of friends. I'm like, man, why? Why you guys didn't tell me? Did You know what I mean? But funny, I, I, we should have put it in the documentary.
Actually, I had met with a good friend of mine who's on, on one of the networks. The next day, I just ran into him at the airport and he took a picture with me.
And I actually, at the time I had lost weight from when I played. So I, I don't want to get on any, any, um, New York York papers.
I don't because if you get on them, they will come after you. But, yeah, I did not get any weight.
A lot of people thought it was funny. I didn't at the time.
I was like, what's going on, man? I just imagined them at the post just being like Derek Eater. Like, we nailed it.
Boom. You know, this is the greatest headline of all time.
I laughed out loud when I saw it. I think they were sitting on that one for years, hoping to get a bad angle of you.
And they finally got that angle. And they're like, they might have.
And at the time, like I said, I was in Miami, and I was downstairs at the hotel restaurant. I had a huge breakfast.
And somebody came over, and you know how you see someone, they're sort of looking at you, and a paper in their hand they're looking at me looking at my plate and then i saw what was on the front page yeah uh go ahead i just was my last question was going to be we have uh we have a special guest in the studio right now well he's he's on this podcast his name's jake and he met you jake how old were you when you met derrick cheater i believe i was three or four, three or four years old. Do you remember meeting a three or four year old named Jake? Yeah.
Yeah. This was, this was recently, right? Yeah.
There's a picture. So this is what you have to like.
It actually is a bigger question of like, do you, do you ever have a moment and step back and you're like, there are millions of people who idolize me to such an insane level so jake told us the story when he was in like kindergarten or first grade uh his parents went to the parent teacher conference and the teacher was like he's great everything's great but he keeps signing his name jake jeter like why is he doing that and his his uh aol profile name was like what was it? It was Jake Jeter 2. Jake Jeter 2.
Like, do you realize there are literally millions of people out there like Jake who they would die for you? You are everything to them. You know what? Well, first of all, Jake, nice to meet you or see you again.
See you again, yeah. Even though I can't see you.
But, you know, I don't think you ever, at least me, I never sat down and say, oh, people idolize you. I just, that doesn't cross my mind.
I look at it as I grew up with Yankee fans, man, for 20 years. I mean, great thing about Yankee fans, they watch every single game.
They live and die with what happens on the field.

So they've seen me grow up, and I joked about it when they retired my number.

I've seen a lot of you guys grow up as well.

So I don't think it's ever a situation where you say, oh, people idolize you.

I just think you grew up with them.

Yeah.

No, he idolizes you, for sure.

That's a very humble way, but like –

He would die for you.

Yeah, there's many people who would die for you. I dressed up as you for Halloween for like 10 straight years.
I'll be honest. It was just the pinstripes every year.
Just roll it back. Play the classics.
Play the hits. All right.
Well, I have one last question as well. It's a rowback question.
RHOBACK.com. Use promo code TAKE for 20% off your first first purchase you get the new joggers um your retirement and uh the fact that you know you didn't get unanimous hall of fame which i want to i want to try to figure out who that person is but did you part of your retirement i'm sure was age but was it also like hey uh they're starting to use exit velocity a lot on these stats and like i gotta get the fuck out of of here because all my hits are like 20 miles an hour did it that play into anything with your retirement well first of all I wouldn't say all of them are 20 miles an hour I think you need to go take a look at some of them because there are a few there a little bit more than 20 miles an hour but I tell you what though yeah man I mean look if you go back to the age of analytics began towards the end of my career and um man you just go you can go through the hall of fame and and just think of how many players because of launch angle and exit velocity probably would have never had a long career you know i mean you could just i'm just thinking out loud you know wade boggs tony gwen you know what i mean but job was to get a hit and get on base and and um yeah so the age of analytics probably played a part of me leaving but i i also said you know what when it starts to feel like a job that that i i i should go home and i and i got hurt i broke my ankle i had a really good year in 2012.
And then I broke my ankle in the playoffs, came back too soon, broke it again. And the rehab and to just get on the field just became so difficult.
It really felt like I had a job, man. And anything that you do, if you're passionate about it and love it, it doesn't feel like a job.
You have fun doing it. And at that particular point, it was just too much for me.
And look, I don't get it twisted. I know they probably wanted me to go home, too.
Right. So they can move on and get someone else in there to play.
But for me, I felt like it became more and more of a job. Yeah.
I mean, and you became Derek Eater. Exactly.
In that moment when you were retiring and the camera cut to the crowd and we see your nephew tip the respect hat at you, that to me proves that clutch gene is hereditary because you obviously were maybe the clutchest player in Major League Baseball history. And then your nephew, the camera happens to be on him and executes the most perfect, the cutest captain to you of all time.

And it's funny.

He's 11 years old now, so that just goes to show you how much time flies.

But, you know, afterwards you hear people say, oh, it was rehearsed.

No, it wasn't rehearsed.

Even my last game I heard people say, there were some people that said,

oh, you know, David Robertson was supposed to come in

and give up two home runs, and this is just how they planned it all. We all sat down and planned it out.
It was like Nathan for you episode. It's a testament to your career that it's, you know, ended the way it did.
And it was a storybook from start to finish. But we appreciate this so much.
We'd love to have you on again whenever you're free. Want to talk baseball.
Check out Greatness Wins. You can buy new athletic apparel there.
You're going to send us a gift basket? Yeah. I'm going to send you some stuff.
Nice, nice, nice. I get nervous with that.
The gift basket comment. You know what I'm saying? Oh, what do you mean? Oh, what are you talking about? No, nothing.
We'll talk about it next time. Next time I come, we'll be in person.

Oh, great.

Yeah, all right.

Good chance to see Jake.

Yeah, I was going to say, I want you to come in person because it would be great to do

like a long interview in person, but we'll also have to maybe have you come like in the

middle of the night because some of the dudes in the office would like, you actually have

people who want to fight you in this office and people who would be like, please marry

me, Derek Jeter. So it would run the gamut.
Oh, that's pretty good. But I'll get you guys some product.
Awesome. Thanks so much.
I appreciate it, guys. Take care now.
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Now, here's one question with Gardner minshu and now for something completely different okay one question with a quarterback we now welcome on our good friend recurring guest gardner minshu who when we came up with this idea um i actually called you uh you went straight to voicemail, but you were on our list. So one question with a quarterback.
PFT, you want to start with your first question? Sure, yeah. So, like, how good are the Eagles right now? Dude, you're as good as what your record says you are.
So we're pretty freaking good freaking good man it's been a lot of fun watching

those guys get after and um i think our best ball is ahead of us okay um my one question was um gardner i know that you uh you know you're a tough guy we we've had you on the show you talked about having to break your own hand um which was a crazy story if the doctors were to x-ray your heart how many dogs do you think would be in there man that's a good question uh but you know i don't i don't know if it's about the number of the dogs but the size of the heart and the dogs um and my dogs have big hearts and so i'd say there's probably about two dogs with very big hearts okay i like feels like. Yeah.
It's like the size of the dog in the fight.

Yeah.

You've got small dogs, but if you X-ray them, your dogs have dogs in them.

Yeah.

It's like a Russian nesting doll of dogs.

Yeah.

I like that.

You just keep going in and it's just for infinity.

Dogs on dogs.

All the way down.

Do you have a question for us?

Because that was our questions.

No, man.

I'm really good.

I was prepared to answer questions

i really ask um yeah okay all right perfect awesome well thank you gardner we appreciate interviews usually go like yeah but this is one question so we don't really we get one question with you and then i don't know sometimes the quarterback has a question for us. Yeah.
You can ask us literally anything about anything. Man.
Shit, you're really putting me on the spot, dude. I don't even know what to say.
Who would win in a fight between you two? Fight to the death. That's a good question.
I do have the size. I'm injured right now.
But low man wins. I think PFT probably would.
I think it would honestly be a better fighter, but I think my size would probably win out because I could just tire him out. Like if I just lay on him.
Yeah. You know, when you watch like one of those miss, like old school UFC mismatches where it's like, oh, this little guy definitely could have beaten the big guy, but the big guy just laid on him long enough that he just tired him out.
That would be my strategy. You're like the mountain in Game of Thrones.
Kind of. Not really.
I would just try to run around the ring as much as possible, and I would probably never even throw a punch. I just hope that he got so tired that he'd pass out from just walking around the ring.
Which is definitely a possibility. You've got strategy.
You could do a lot of strategy. But I think it comes down

to dogs and heart, honestly. And the heart and the

dogs. That's true.
I don't know if my

dogs have dogs inside of them yet. I just got

an x-ray yesterday and it was dogless.

So that's concerning to me.

Yeah, so

probably not. Okay, well

Gardner, thank you for joining us. We might

call on you again later on this year, but you're

the man. And that was one Question with Gardner Minshew.

Right on, fellas. Good to see y'all.

Alright, see you, man.

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Okay. Let's wrap up with some guys on chicks.
Then we'll do the lottery ball machine, which Hank,'ve never had right i ain't no hank won that hank never won that right sup slim thick cat ghost of manhattan and henry my sister 22 and her boyfriend recently flew out to visit my boyfriend and i for the first time my boyfriend and i share a one bedroom one bathroom apartment apartment they wrote that twice not i didn't read it twice. You did read it twice, though.
That's true. Where the bathroom has two doors, one connected to the hallway, and one connected to the bedroom.
The first night, I was in bed and heard both of them going to the bathroom. It sounded like my sister was brushing her teeth, and her boyfriend began peeing loudly next to her for a good 30 seconds.
I found it very weird since they've only been dating a couple months and made it so obvious. My boyfriend of three years has never peed in front of me.
Is peeing in front of your girlfriend weird, and after how long of dating is that acceptable? P.S. You've still got to do a gravity bong with Jilly.
Oh, that's true. I forgot about that.
We make a lot of promises. No, you're weird.
You're very weird. Peeing in front of a girl is maybe i'd say week two well here's the problem the only problem with peeing in front of it has nothing to do with like ew that's gross it's just if you pee in front of a girl you better have your aim right because if they see what you know when you fuck up they're like wait what you guys miss it's like yeah we miss a lot i think the bigger issue is a lot a lot uh if you pee in front of a girl, the real danger is that you might fart.
And so that's one where you got to make sure that you've got a couple feet separation there. Yeah, but that's totally normal.
I don't see what the problem is. Again, the only problem in my eyes is aim is a question that comes up all the time where it's like, you know, you ever have like one of those where you're like so hungover, like you just

totally missed and like you're just peeing on the wall

and shit like that will happen from time to

time. You pee on the wall? Oh yeah.

You're just like, yeah, you'll just be like

you're fucked up. It's like LeBron seeing three rims.

Yeah, you're fucked up or you're insanely

hungover and you're just like, oh

fuck and like it's all over the

place. There could be disasters.
Yeah, you just go

hands free and it just. Yeah, right.
Yeah, you sometimes take a little risk i i yeah where you're like that's the sex pee is a little bit sometimes that happens when you're hung yeah i do like i've never hit the wall hung kind of half asleep it's yeah the sex pee is an issue sometimes also what you do yeah oh yeah breaking news i've had sex well we were talking about hangovers yeah, but I did bring up the me, myself and Irene, which is the sex pee. Yeah.
But then the lean over is my move when I'm hung over, where you just like put your forearm on the wall and lean forward and just let gravity almost pull your pee down. Well, the big way you miss is when you have a boner in the morning.
Right. Or yeah, like when you're super hung over and you like, especially if you have like crazy hangover and you try to do the thing where you drink a shitload of water the night before before you went to bed to fix it and then you have have to pee so bad but when i think the question too and it deserves to be asked when when does this happen in a relationship i think really soon like i i've never been afraid to pee i mean you guys know i can pee in front of anybody.
Ed Sheeran, girlfriends, doesn't matter. But it's never been a question.
I don't know. Peeing in front of somebody is pretty normal, I think.
Yeah, it's pretty quick. Yeah.
First month, no problem. You're the weird one person who wrote in.
I think after they see your dick, there's no more surprises left. Okay.
Chicago Cat, DCPFT, Boston Hank, and Philly Max. My fiance and his brother.
Jake and Billy just get nothing. My fiance and his brother are planning a joint bachelor party for next spring, but have no ideas on where to go, things to do, etc.
Do you have any ideas? For context, they are Philly-based, late 20-somethings, and Vegas and Atlantic City are out. P.S.
Go Birds. Don't do this.
Delco. Don't do this.
Don't do this. This is a bad idea.
The joint bachelor party is a bad idea. You can pretend it's a good idea.
You can pretend like, oh, this would be fun. One side is not happy about this.
It could be the girl. It could girl could be the guy i'm not saying one way or the other or do you think it could be one of the guy's groups no no no but like yes there will be one side that is very upset about this and like what are we doing here and there's one side of the the uh bride the husband and the bride who are like being like i'll go along with this but deep down they don't really want to do it you don't do it the only way this can work the only way is if you have about a 90 clearance rate on both sides of the groomsmen and the bridesmaids being single if that's the case then it could be fun because then there's hookups happening and everyone's going to be happy and horny, et cetera, et cetera.
That's the only way that it works. But if that's not the case, I think it's going to be a bad idea.
It's never fun. I went on.
I don't want to get into it because the person is probably listening. But I went on a joint bachelor bachelor party.
And it sucked. And it's just like you're always looking over your shoulder.
And there's just too many people that are involved with different agendas at the same time. It's tough.
Yeah. And again, this goes for both ways.
I bet you the girls want to have a girl trip where they don't have to think about being around dudes all the time. This is just, come on.
Come on. Don't do it.
And if you were going to do it, I guess do to Vegas because then you all get split up anyway. So that would be the answer.
If you're going to do the joint bachelor party, do Vegas and then just get split up so much that you don't. I think you're miss.
I think you misheard. It's it's it's brother and brother in law, I think, are doing my fiance and his brother.
Oh, we have to redo this whole question. Okay.
So now it's just when were you going to tell us that part? I was trying to explain it, and then once you explained it, I was like, I don't think... I just heard joint bachelor party, or bachelor and bachelorette party.
It's a shitload of dudes. Oh.
Shitload of Philly... Also, don't do this.
Yeah. This is also a bad idea.
This actually might be a worse idea. That's what I was saying.
Yeah, no, no, don't do that. One of the groups of friends doesn't want to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
Don't do that. So, all right.
So, everything we said stands for the the joint guy girl bachelor party but also that's too many philly dudes unless they're gonna all fight unless they're all single and then they'll start hooking up with each other that part still that counts you already have to deal with like if you have a bachelor party you already have to deal with the fact that you have friends from different points in your life to then add a whole other group of friends from different points in their lives like and don't do that that's a bad idea just say you're going to just wait till the eagles play the raiders and then all of you guys go to vegas together that's a way better idea okay that was a wild question sorry i just completely misheard i heard joint and i just was like don't do it so my general policy is any bachelor party that's over i'd say maybe nine people is going to be tough enough to handle when you combine them then you get all the little politics that starts to get played inside of one normal bachelor party and you combine it with a bunch of friends i've never met each other before correct in the first place they're all going to end up hating each other and that's a best case scenario think about like trying to go to a club in vegas with 25 dudes that's what you're going to have to do if you combine bachelor parties. Somebody's going to be like, I don't want to split this tab evenly because I didn't get any appetizers.
Imagine that times like three. That person sucks.
All right. We'll end with another Eagles question.
My boyfriend is a Panthers fan, and I'm an Eagles fan. We have an extra TV we put out on the weekends to watch football.

It's sick.

The issue we've been having is when both our teams are playing,

we both obviously want to watch it on the bigger TV.

This usually turns into a problem.

We get the Panthers game on a local channel,

and I have the Eagles on the ticket,

so I'm able to switch to other games on commercial breaks.

The Panthers are also really fucking bad,

and I feel sorry for them sometimes.

That's the biggest one.

However, that doesn't justify putting a shitty game on the bigger TV.

Yeah, no.

Is this fair?

Yes, it's very fair.

I don't think Panthers you should never strive to put a Panthers game on a larger TV if anything you should buy a special smaller TV for Carolina Panthers games we do this in the office like you had the teams that are good get TVs like last week I put the Bears on the fucking quad box I had to squint to see it because the Bears-Texans was not a good game. So it's like you just have to do it by hierarchy of like, are these teams good? And, yeah, we actually probably have a lot of teams that are probably going to be relegated this year to the quad box.
Yeah, mercifully. Actually, the Bears are not quad box right now.
They're 2-1 Bears versus 2-1 Giants.

Your boyfriend's kind of a sicko for wanting to watch the Carolina Panthers. Yeah, but you get in terms of like it's just basically a quality like how good.

It's hard.

It is hard at the beginning of the season because no one's mathematically eliminated

and you can be like you can convince yourself, oh, they're a frisky one and two.

But as the season goes along, if the Eagles keep winning

and the Panthers keep losing, the Panthers don't get the main TV.

Use your head.

Come on.

Just put it.

They get relegated.

It's very simple.

It's like if you're a network executive,

what would you want Monday Night Football to be, the Panthers or the Eagles?

I think there's like six teams that should never lay any sort of claim to being on the bigger TV if there's an option. Yeah.
And I think, unfortunately, the Panthers are in that conversation. Yes.
Hank, is it going to be weird that you're going to be quad boxed this year? Because that is kind of weird. Yeah, it's weird.
I mean, they're bringing back the red jerseys, which everyone's been waiting for a long time. It's going to be fucking Brian Hoyer yeah is that is pat the patriot gonna be up there on the helmet yeah what happened to billy zappy brian you know brian hoyer brian i mean actually no you gotta give brian horror another chance i have actually i have a crazy it's not brian hoyer it's axel hoyer yeah what the fuck's Yeah, his name's Axel.
He's been going through life not calling himself Axel. Like, Axel is the name.
Brian Hoyer is a better backup quarterback name, but Axel Hoyer, that dude will get in and fucking sling it. Brian Hoyer has lost 11 straight games as a starter, dating back to 2016.
But Axel Hoyer has never lost a game. Also, that's still not even a full season of a sample size.
You gotta see how that plays out. He also had that great half season in Cleveland.
You remember that? Yeah, and then he was like the local hero, and it was like, wow, has Cleveland finally found their quarterback? He had the Mr. Hero advertisements and all that shit.
This is Axel Hoyer, Hank. Just tell yourself it's Axel.
Yeah, Hank, you're going to the... It is kind of weird that the Patriots will be a quad box team.
Yeah, and fucking, yeah. There's idiot sports talk journalists being like, oh, you know, this is Belichick's last year.
He's on the way out. It starts so quickly.
Oh, really? What idiots are saying that? Is it bothering you? Cow turd. People are saying Belichick, the game is passed and by.

No,

just whatever.

Don't let it bother you.

Yeah.

Don't let it bother you.

Don't let him get you down.

17.

Have you ever won this?

He won last week.

Oh yeah,

he hasn't ever won this.

You're never going to win this,

which is the best part of this.

72.

I mean,

when are you going to give me two?

For eternity?

I still think I probably would take you

not winning this.

I'll see 64. Oh, someone did the math.
Speaking of six, are we going to talk about this earlier in the show? What? Are you starting to get worried? I don't know what we're talking about. 62.
What are you worried about? Oh have talked The home runs We talked about it Yeah, we already talked about it Yes, yes Breaking news, LeBron James 45, 45 What number are you, Hank? 17 LeBron James just tweeted accidentally Instead of the kid from Akron He tweeted the mid from Akron That's awesome Fuck. Fuck this.
Oh, wait, what?

90.

Not even close, Hank. Damn, Hank.

Not even close.

Not even close to close.

Love you guys.

Crocodiles are older than alligators.

We're talking away.

I don't know what to say.

I'd say it anyway.

Today is a month to day to find you.

Shine.

I'll be coming for your love of three.

Shine.

I'll be coming for your love of three.

Take me.

Take me. Take me on me Take me on Take me on Take me on me Take me on me Something needless to say I'm all set in But I need stolen away So we learn the pipe is over Thank you.
Take me on.

Take me on.

Take me on. Take me on.

Take me on.

Things that we say.

Is it all just the blame but what we're doing You're all the things I've got to remember Are you shining on me? I'll be good for you anyway Are you shining on me? I'll be good for you anyway Take on me Take on me Take me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take on me Take me on me. Take me.
Take me. Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.