NFL Preview With Pete Prisco And Stu Feiner, Hard Knocks Finale And The Return Of Guys On Chicks

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Speaker 1 See Mintmobile.com. On today's part of my take, we have a two-fer for the people, Pete Prisco and Stu Feiner breaking down the 2022 NFL season that is a day away.
We're going to talk bets.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk what Pete thought was the best training camps, teams that might be disappointing, teams that might surprise people.

Speaker 1 We also have the return of guys on chicks, hot seat, cool throne, and a recap of the hard knocks finale, and it is brought to you by our friends.

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Speaker 1 Part of my take

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app for Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, September 7th, and I'm still stuck in Dan Campbell's brain on that last second, last minute, two minutes of hard knocks as he's trying to figure out what the 2022 Detroit Lions are going to be.

Speaker 6 He paused for like 30 seconds and he just started to cry because he was just thinking about his men and that's what Dan Campbell does he when he gets emotional just thinking about all the guys all the dudes all the men that he's coached this preseason what he was thinking you could tell you could see him like walk through the emotions of like all the men that have been in this locker room that are no longer here I need to answer this question for them I think he's like he cares too much about his men because you saw it some in the cuts like the players acted like it was they were like it's a privilege to get cut by you sir thank you for putting this team together And like, he doesn't, he needs to figure out that he can't, he can't be everyone's like best friend on the team.

Speaker 6 Some people are going to think he's an asshole.

Speaker 1 Right, right. It was actually, it was a full minute of silence because I, I, I videoed it, uh, and I was just like standing there.

Speaker 1 You know, when you, you, you do old school, you take your phone out and you're, and you're actually like videoing the TV.

Speaker 1 And I was just standing there like, holy shit, this is way longer than I thought.

Speaker 1 I think it was just like, I'd imagine in Dan Campbell's head, it's just two Dan Campbells like having a bare-knuckle brawl as he's trying to figure out the words that should come out of his mouth.

Speaker 1 But you're right. Like his cuts, I loved seeing Tom Kennedy get cut hurt because we obviously kind of know him.

Speaker 1 But that was the perfect Dan Campbell cut because he was like basically screaming at him and crying at the same time in his voice, being like, you earned it. You earned it.
But you're cut. Yeah.
See,

Speaker 6 that happens sometimes, guys, when players get cut. They're told like, you did everything that you could.
We're going to bring you back later on in the season.

Speaker 6 It's actually a very common thing that happens in professional sports. You guys are athletes and we're going to expect you to know that.

Speaker 6 It would be funny to see like one player get cut by Dan Campbell and be like, yeah, man, you absolutely nailed me on that one. I'm not very good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I mean,

Speaker 1 if you watched, if you just picked someone. from, let's say, like England or France, and you're like, watch this episode.
You're like, did Dan Campbell just cut an all-star roster?

Speaker 1 Because every guy was like the best player ever. And they just, that, that one, there was the one, I felt bad for the one guy when he's like, What could I have done more?

Speaker 1 And he's like, You maximized your talent, you did everything. Like, you're just not that good.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's like, You were perfect. You did a great job.
You really showed out. Uh, there was, I would like to see Dan Campbell do a fake cut.

Speaker 6 That would be fun to like bring somebody in on cut down day.

Speaker 6 Like, maybe bring Rodrigo back there and have the Turk walk him into the office, be like, So, uh, we're gonna let you go, and then go through that and then pull a psych on him at the last minute.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like, not, you're staying around, we love you. That would have been fun.

Speaker 1 It was, um, it was weird watching the finale of hard knocks and doing this. We, we, we're doing this because we obviously had a show yesterday, so there wasn't a lot to talk about.

Speaker 1 We have great interviews with Pete Prisco and Stu Feiner coming up and guys on chicks, but it was funny tweeting about hard knocks and being like, just like an empty forest.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, wait, what? What are you talking about right now? Like, people are, no one's watching that still. It's like, yeah, you're right.
No one really is.

Speaker 1 Like, we, I think we do hard knocks exactly correct in that the first two episodes, we get super hyped. And then by episode three, four, and five, we're like, okay,

Speaker 1 yeah, football's like one sleep away. We're good.

Speaker 6 I think that they're also trying to get us to not watch the Arizona Cardinals in-season hard knocks because every commercial that they've had, it's been like Kyler Murray like sitting like crisscrossed on a practice field, just like looking at the sun there was one where it was DeAndre Hopkins that was just like he was stretching they haven't really even tried to promote it to us yet so I'm not you know what I'll probably watch the in-season hard knocks in like maybe April after the NCAA tournament that's when I'll go back and I'll re-watch the football content but now like I have in-season hard knocks already it's called NFL football right so that's gonna scratch that football itch for me but um we did miss one key part last week in hard knocks where I forget who it was.

Speaker 6 It was somebody on the lines, obviously, um, got icy hot on his balls. And he was like, oh shit, I got icy hot on my balls.
This sucks.

Speaker 6 And any guy out there that's played sports or just used icy hot knows how bad that feels. And it gives you PTSD, it gives you flashbacks.
Yep. Getting icy hot on your balls, it will scar you for life.

Speaker 6 I think that's the worst pain that you can go through.

Speaker 1 It is. It really is.

Speaker 1 It's the exact opposite of like doing gold bond on your balls, which is the greatest feeling. It is so, so terrible when you get icy hot on your balls.

Speaker 1 The other thing, the only other note I had from this episode was,

Speaker 1 excuse me, I have the hiccups. It must be so weird for Eminem to have to introduce himself to people when he's like, hey, I'm Marshall.
It's like, yeah, dude. You're fucking Eminem.

Speaker 1 Like, there's no one here who doesn't know who you are. And him having to go up and just do the formality of that.
I wonder, like, is there anyone, like, does The Rock do that?

Speaker 1 Does The Rock say, hey, I'm Dwayne?

Speaker 6 I'm Dwayne. Yeah, that's the only way you can do it.
You can't say, like, hey,

Speaker 6 I'm the rock because that doesn't sound cool. You want me to get rid of those hiccups?

Speaker 1 No, I'm good. No, I've got a cure.

Speaker 6 It works 100% of the time.

Speaker 1 I'm good. They're gone.
Okay. I have a cure, too, but they're gone.
We'll see. We'll see.

Speaker 6 My cure is the best.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Now we're on hiccup watch.
There's a lot of pressure on me. Yeah.
No, we're. I'm going to swallow it if it happens.

Speaker 6 You're going to do it. I don't think it's out.

Speaker 7 I want to know what the cure is.

Speaker 6 You're big cats.

Speaker 1 Well, I do the plug your nose, plug your nose and plug your ears, and then you just slowly sip, and it works.

Speaker 6 I did a little bit of homework into,

Speaker 6 is it John St. Brown, the body?

Speaker 1 Wait, what's your cure, PFT?

Speaker 1 Everyone has a cure.

Speaker 6 I just got to do it if you have the hiccups. I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1 I beat my hiccups. I beat my hiccups just now.

Speaker 6 Nah, but I don't want to do that.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine Jimi Hendrix playing the Star-Spangled Banner

Speaker 6 in his living room? You got to have an audience engaged for it.

Speaker 1 Everyone in the world has a cure for hiccups.

Speaker 6 Okay, but mine works.

Speaker 6 Mine does too i just i literally just got rid of them uh i'm proof i'm proof positive we don't know if your cure works okay mine just showed that it worked mine is a thousand percent it works too good sometimes mine's mine just worked so but anyway what is your cure i saw john st brown i went to his protein company's website you know the hat that he rocks that says like cane protein i went to it it's just an advertisement for how strong his sons are it's awesome it's like on on the website it says equanimius st.

Speaker 6 brown i noticed was not able to drink enough protein as a seven-year-old so i designed the specific formula for him to get bitter gains uh and so no one's listening to this right now we need the cure seven years old no one cares about this we need the cure you have to tell the cure i'm not gonna do it you can't come on dude all right i have the hiccups again okay all right so here's what you do big cat i'll save the day

Speaker 1 You can't leave everyone on a cliffhanger. Everyone's just sitting there like getting angry.

Speaker 6 Like, dude, just say the cure. There's got to be somebody listening right now that has the hiccups.
If you do, follow along. Okay.
Just like Big Cat will.

Speaker 6 Big Cat, do not exhale until I tell you it's okay to exhale.

Speaker 6 Take a deep breath in.

Speaker 1 Now hold it.

Speaker 6 Now swallow.

Speaker 1 Don't breathe out.

Speaker 6 Now breathe in again.

Speaker 1 Now hold it.

Speaker 6 Now swallow.

Speaker 6 Now swallow again. It's going to be tough to swallow that third time.
Give me a thumbs up when you're done swallowing. There it is.
Okay, breathe in again.

Speaker 6 Stop. Breathe in again.

Speaker 6 Stop.

Speaker 1 Swallow.

Speaker 6 It's tough. It's dry.
It's dry.

Speaker 1 I mean, I already got rid of him, so it's really...

Speaker 6 You didn't complete the program. So after that last swallow,

Speaker 6 I would have told Big Cat now slowly exhale through your nose. And at that point, he would be cured of hiccups for life.

Speaker 1 For life. For life.
That's beautiful. There we go.
You just got to cure for hiccups for life. Yep.

Speaker 7 I was just hoping for something a little more exciting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just drink water slowly and then then hold your breath and then they're gone.

Speaker 6 I was trying to think of a way to scare big cats remotely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the scaring is always a fun way because that's just like an interactive way, like just scare someone. But that's good.
Now we have it. Now we can all go on.

Speaker 1 What were you saying about the protein?

Speaker 6 The protein hat. So I went to the, we talked about John St.
Brown's protein hat that he wore last time. Like, never fuck with a man that wears a protein hat.

Speaker 6 And on his website, it's just an advertisement for how strong his sons are.

Speaker 6 It's like, I developed this protein because my son, Equanimius, when he was seven years old, wasn't able to consume enough protein to get adequate amount of gains for a seven-year-old.

Speaker 6 So I designed this protein to supplement his meals to make him stronger. So it says, yeah, he's been taking cane protein since he was seven years old.
Also, there's a third St.

Speaker 6 Brown kid that's coming through the ranks named Osiris.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yeah. The coolest.

Speaker 6 That's the coolest of all the names. And they're all three great names.

Speaker 1 Osiris. Yeah.
Jake, please put in the calendar.

Speaker 1 We should do do the Mount Rush more of guys to not fuck with because protein hat, cauliflower ears,

Speaker 1 there's some good lists of guys to not fuck with.

Speaker 6 A guy's missing a finger.

Speaker 1 I'll do it for June.

Speaker 8 Mid-June. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A guy who's obsessed with stumps. We'll find out that later.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that's, I mean, the protein hat is exactly correct. If you're reping a protein company, stay away from that person.
Yep. Yeah.
Osiris, what a fucking badass.

Speaker 1 Jake, also, also,

Speaker 1 do we have anything else on hard knocks? I mean, it was a good season. What do we give it?

Speaker 6 I give it like

Speaker 6 27 mans.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to give it

Speaker 1 3.9 balls. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank?

Speaker 1 Hank's muted. Hank has muted himself.

Speaker 7 I said it was solid. I'll give it a solid out of 10.

Speaker 1 A solid out of 10. Okay.
Jake, yeah?

Speaker 8 I'll give it a 3, 7 out of 5. Okay.
3.7 balls.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy.

Speaker 6 Best hard knocks since I've been back on part of my take.

Speaker 1 Okay, so someone please put those what?

Speaker 6 I think it's like out of

Speaker 1 like two or three. Yeah.
So if someone put all of those grades together and give us a final grade of the Lions hard knocks.

Speaker 6 I think the final grade is just, it's football.

Speaker 6 So that's as good as you can know for. It's Dan Campbell football.
The other note that I made is on his big board that Dan Campbell has in his office. You know, it says the lion's schedule.

Speaker 6 It's, you know, it's separated by like two hours for each activity. For snack, he calls it fuel station, which is fucking cool.
So we got to start.

Speaker 6 We got to steal that and call it fuel station when we're eating like shit.

Speaker 1 I like that. I like that a lot.
Before we do hot seat cool throw on Jake, do you have anything from tennis?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 8 Currently watching Kyrios.

Speaker 8 He just threw his racket and he smacked a camera in the span of about 30 seconds. So guys should put on ESPN right now.

Speaker 8 And hopefully by the time you're listening, he won so you can watch him again in the semifinals.

Speaker 8 And we had a haircut in the stands today.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Haircut, yeah.

Speaker 8 There was a YouTuber getting a haircut. And they ejected him.

Speaker 1 Tennis so fun that the biggest story from the U.S. Open today is there was a haircut in the stands.
I actually thought he was dying to see it invisible.

Speaker 8 Towards, as you dissed the sport, did you see Serena's match was the most watched ESPN tennis match ever?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because she fake retired. She's going to do that every time she fake retires.

Speaker 1 Every last day.

Speaker 8 What if next week we just say this is the last part of my take ever and see how the ratings are.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we've discussed doing that many times, Jake.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just be like, hey.
Great idea. It's over.

Speaker 7 But also, there is no more like Serena. Like no one else.

Speaker 7 She's the last legend.

Speaker 8 She's ending the final.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she's not ending. She will play again.

Speaker 6 Remember,

Speaker 6 she's going to get pregnant again and then use the baby blood technique.

Speaker 1 Much like Hillary Clinton and Dominic.

Speaker 1 I should try to get a bet on the Barstool Sportsbook. Will Serena ever play in a tournament again?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like you're winning a lot of money. Who will play in the U.S.

Speaker 8 Open first against? Serena or Djokovic?

Speaker 1 Okay, let's not.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 if we keep with these bullshit COVID laws, then clearly Serena.

Speaker 6 I thought

Speaker 6 it was horse shit that that YouTuber stole LeBron James' idea and got a haircut. That is, that's legally protected by the shop.
All rights reserved. Second

Speaker 6 reserved rights goes to Nick Sabin in case LeBron waves his rights.

Speaker 1 Those were both invented.

Speaker 8 Also, I love how

Speaker 8 it's a BS law for Djokovic, but for Rogers, he should go to prison.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 You cut out there.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do hot seat cool drum.

Speaker 1 Let's do hot seat cool drum.

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Speaker 1 Hank, you're up.

Speaker 7 Yeah, my hot seat is me. Just huge, huge error on my part yesterday.

Speaker 7 I said Brendan Frazier got a standing ovation at Conn's, but it was actually the Venice Film Festival, and

Speaker 7 I had a lot of people really upset with me, so I just wanted to

Speaker 1 write the wrong.

Speaker 6 Venice is more prestigious, some might say, than Canada.

Speaker 7 I don't know how I got that messed up.

Speaker 1 Well, probably because Rosillo was in our head because he went to Europe. I don't know if anyone heard.

Speaker 1 But I think we need to start doing these Hollywood deep dives. People like that because we are, as a collective, the least knowledgeable people about like the movie industry.

Speaker 1 So it's very fun whenever we get into one of these and we're just like, oh, I don't know. So it was a great segment.

Speaker 6 Yeah, have you guys done any more research on it? I did a little bit of follow-up on it.

Speaker 7 I'm pretty much caught up.

Speaker 6 I saw a different angle where Harry Styles dropped a goat on Chris Pine's lap and that's what happened. So that seemed fucked up because, first of all, where did he get the goat from?

Speaker 6 And then I saw another one where it looked like Chris Pine's just been fucked up all week. I think sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one.

Speaker 6 I think Chris Pine has just been doing a shitload of weird drugs all week and he kind of zoned out for a while and snapped back to reality and it looked like he got spat on.

Speaker 1 So that's what I'm going with right now. Harry Styles.
Win and Khan.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Winnie.

Speaker 6 How did Ryan teach us to pronounce that?

Speaker 1 I think it was Khan's. I think we always called it Kanes, and then maybe it's Kanes?

Speaker 6 I think he was saying Keynes.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I zone out every time he talks about Europe.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's smart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, one love.

Speaker 6 It's raising cons.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Hank, your cool throne?

Speaker 7 My cool throne is Coach O, recurring guest,

Speaker 7 legend of the game.

Speaker 7 He was doing like an interview or panel or something in front of people, and he told the story about how when he was getting let go from LSU, he was like, oh, you know, the guy said things aren't going well.

Speaker 7 He was like, yeah, no shit, buddy, basically.

Speaker 7 And then he said, you know, you have $17 million left in your contract. We're going to pay you all of it.
And Coach O just said, you know, where's the door and how fast do you want me to get out?

Speaker 7 So he's, he's, he's like, it is the dream. He's living the dream.
And that's the other thing. He's like, some people have 12 years, some people have eight years.
I had six. I got $17 million.

Speaker 7 And now I'm chilling.

Speaker 1 He confirmed like everything I wanted him to confirm because he had, he won a national title with his home state school.

Speaker 1 And some, you know, when, when you, I don't know, 20 years from now, when you're like best champions, LSU will be in that conversation. That team was that good.
And so he'll always have that.

Speaker 1 And he has the $17 million. He's like, yeah, it's pretty sweet.
Like, I got to fucking just, I got to go. And, and, like, I had a good run, and it was awesome.
Like, that's the best.

Speaker 1 Like, most college coaches are just so psycho. They'd be bitter.
They'd be mad. They would, like, you know, try to get another job right away.
Coach O is just, he's goals.

Speaker 7 There's no unfinished business.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 I think Coach O is actually the most well-adjusted human being out of all the major college coaches.

Speaker 6 So there's actually something wrong with you, I think, if you end up being like a Nick Saban, where you're not satisfied with winning a national championship at LSU and getting paid $20 million at that moment to just walk away and never coach again.

Speaker 6 Like he had all these opportunities to do things things like that. Nick Saban, for some reason, is such a psychopath that he's not ever happy with anything.

Speaker 6 So he has to keep coming back and justifying himself to himself in order to make himself a little bit happy. Most normal people,

Speaker 6 you give anybody $20 million

Speaker 6 and you don't have to work again. That's the goal.

Speaker 6 That's why we're doing any of this that we're doing right now is to be able to have $20 million, a national championship, and not ever have to work again.

Speaker 6 That is actually a very well-adjusted outlook on life, unlike just about every other head coach out there.

Speaker 1 If it weren't for football, like Dabo Sweeney would be a serial killer.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 he's an unhinged human being. He is not a well-adjusted human being.

Speaker 1 So, like, thank God for football because there are a lot of coaches that you could put in that bucket where you're like, who knows what they would do?

Speaker 6 I was going to go with megachurch preacher.

Speaker 1 Well, but then, like, you know, he probably wouldn't

Speaker 1 he has some really fucked up shit that goes on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably end up being a serial killer.

Speaker 1 He probably would take over for David Miscavige and just

Speaker 1 be the next fucking Scientology guy.

Speaker 6 They are warlords in their little college towns, and they get off on, you know, the power and the responsibility. And they love that shit.
And I guess they do some good sometimes.

Speaker 6 They help a lot of people out. But at the same time, like, Cocho is correct.
Coach O absolutely has the right mentality about all this. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, PFT, your hot seat, cool thrown.

Speaker 6 So staying down at lsu my hot seat yeah brian kelly a lot of people are saying buy out brian a lot of people are saying the buy you buy out i saw that trending on twitter um 75 million dollars maybe 80 million dollars to get the buyout going he got roasted by a member of the media at lsu today uh the member of the media was i think three minutes early to his press conference and brian kelly said uh i'm finding you because you're not on time and she replied well maybe if you win a game i'll be on time right to his face it's right to to his face.

Speaker 6 So he's

Speaker 1 so awesome. It's like Brian Kelly is such a detestable person.
Like, I just...

Speaker 1 I don't know who could root for him. And just having him have this culture shock where I don't know if you guys saw that clip of all the LSU fans after the game just being like, fuck this, we suck.

Speaker 1 Like one kid was like, I paid $46,000 for a losing football team. This is bullshit.
Like,

Speaker 1 you thought that Notre Dame fans were fanatical. There's nothing compared to LSU fans.

Speaker 6 I think LSU fans are like Notre Dame fans.

Speaker 6 What Notre Dame fans truly want to be deep down inside, but they have a sense of decorum about them.

Speaker 6 If you get them blackout drunk and get them to tell the truth, that's what LSU fans are like, even when they're sober.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
LSU fans' resting level is just like always angry at every coach, no matter what.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 it's a lot of fun to watch Brian Kelly go through all this. It's great.

Speaker 6 You know, as like, we're kind of joking, saying, like, buy out Brian. I'm not.
I actually think that he should be bought out.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 you can see the look in his eye. He's already thinking to himself, like, I fucked up.
I made the wrong decision. I don't know what I'm doing down here.

Speaker 1 Well, and also, I mean,

Speaker 1 obviously, he's probably going to be successful there. But the idea that Billy Napier might be successful at Florida and was in the state of Louisiana just makes it even sweeter.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm rooting for Florida to win a national title and LSU to bottom out and just have the both of them, like everyone look around and be like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 That guy was in the state of Louisiana and we had to go get the shiny object because he fucking won a bunch of games at Notre Dame. So, yeah, I'm rooting against Brian Kelly.

Speaker 1 I want LSU fans to be happy. It has nothing to do with LSU.
I love going down there. The fans are the best.
We've always been welcome there. I just hate Brian Kelly.

Speaker 6 Well, I think if you asked LSU fans right now, like, do you like Brian Kelly? They probably agree with us. They want the team to win football games, obviously.

Speaker 6 I think that's the difference, Big Cap, between me and you and diehard LSU fans.

Speaker 6 We're willing to have Brian Kelly lose a shitload of games and turn the program into an utter disaster just in his face, just so that he has to deal with it.

Speaker 6 In the meantime, I think LSU fans are like, well, I'd rather we win football games with this.

Speaker 1 Right, and it won't take long. I mean, if he's bad for three, again, this is a way overreaction because it was one game, and they weren't supposed to be very good this year.

Speaker 1 I think their over-under is like seven and a half. But if he just isn't good for two or three years, he's gone.
That's how fast, like, you could even make the argument two. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Some people are saying that. Let's get it started.
Buy O'Brien.

Speaker 6 I think two years, but if he encounters enough drunken LSU fans that will tell him to his face all the things that the LSU fan or that the Notre Dame fans were afraid to say, even behind his back, then he's going to be like, I don't, I'm too rich for this shit.

Speaker 6 I can go get any other job that I want. Let me get out of here.

Speaker 1 He's, I hope he cries at a press conference. That would be awesome.
He's like, people are just being mean to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'll just invoke, like, he'll do some bullshit where he'll be like, people are being mean to my family.

Speaker 1 And it'll be bullshit. All right.
Your cool throne?

Speaker 6 His family.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 My cool throne is, well, one of them got taken earlier, so I'm just going to, I'm going to say just jawing, just jawing at each other in baseball. Fake baseball fights are back.
Yes.

Speaker 6 The Orioles and it was the Orioles and the Blue Jays, right?

Speaker 6 Yeah, just kind of the Orioles and Blue Jays. They just kind of trotted out onto the field and played tummy sticks for a second, act like they got into a fight, and then they just called it a day.

Speaker 6 But then it always like pops up as trending topics on Twitter, and it like sends me push notifications, like, watch this, bench is clear in Baltimore, Toronto.

Speaker 6 And then I watch it, and they just kind of run out onto the field and shake hands.

Speaker 1 I just wish, I wish it looked so ridiculous because they didn't do anything. I just wish the bullpens would fight because it's so ridiculous.

Speaker 1 The bullpens got there by the time the whole thing was over. And like they have to all get up and just run.
Like just fight in the bullpen. You're right there.
Just fucking fight in the bullpen.

Speaker 1 That'd be so much more fun. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 Jake, what were you laughing at?

Speaker 8 No, it's just the visual of bullpen showing up

Speaker 1 and just like

Speaker 8 jogging in.

Speaker 8 They don't really sometimes you'll see guys running, but most of the time they're just like showing up.

Speaker 1 It was very pronounced in this one, and they're going through like the same tunnel, and they're all getting there when it's already over. It's like, just stay there.

Speaker 1 Like, that should just be a rule that if there's a fight, the bullpens have to stay in the bullpens and they have to fight.

Speaker 6 Unless it's Graham Lloyd.

Speaker 8 It's like a fire drill in school, right? Like, you just have to do it because of the protocol.

Speaker 1 This isn't real fire. You're not going to really.

Speaker 6 Do you remember when Graham Lloyd would just sprint out there during fights and just like pick the biggest dude he could find, run full speed at him, and just throw a punch? That dude was awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 If you could run out of the bullpen, do that. But yeah, it's weird for them to like, because

Speaker 6 they're going through the bullpen hallway with the opposing bullpen, and then they're not mad at them while they're there, and then they get out into the open, and then all of a sudden they're mad at them again.

Speaker 1 It's basically the real bros of Simi Valley when they do the fight, when they just never throw a punch.

Speaker 1 That's essentially what all baseball brawls would be.

Speaker 1 Hold me back. All right.
My hot seat was Brian Kelly as well. My cool throne is Mike Tomlin because Mike Tomlin, I don't know if you guys saw, there was a snafu.

Speaker 1 So they listed their roster and it was Mitch as the starting quarterback. Mason Rudolph is number two.
Kenny Pickett is number three. And people were like, huh, that's kind of weird.

Speaker 1 Kenny Pickett, first round draft pick, he's three. So apparently it was a clerical error because they copy and pasted the week one preseason depth chart and then released that as the roster.

Speaker 1 And Mike Tomlin said, quote, the cut and paste component was the cut and paste component.

Speaker 6 Yeah, standard standard.

Speaker 1 That was it.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait. Mike Tomlin, what did you, you realize what he just did there?

Speaker 6 Mike Tomlin just cut and pasted cut and paste into the standard is the standard. Correct.
And then we ended up with a cut and paste component is the cut and paste component.

Speaker 1 Yes. That's wild.
So Kenny Pickett is the number two quarterback on the depth chart. So that's good.
So Kenny's number two.

Speaker 1 Mitch is number one, but it's just, it's so Tomlin like to then just get up and be like, yep, cut and paste. The cut and paste did the cut and paste job.

Speaker 1 We just didn't realize the cut and paste was doing that.

Speaker 6 We executed the cut and paste to the fullest extent possible.

Speaker 6 But you have to be judicious sometimes with when you do elect to use the cut and paste functionality.

Speaker 1 There's probably some poor guy who's like, wait, does that mean I'm not cut? Like,

Speaker 1 if the whole thing was fucked up? Yeah, Big Ben's like, wait, I could come back probably. Yeah, holy shit.
All right, Billy.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is myself.

Speaker 6 I've been battling with chairs for the past week, and it is terrible. It is literally the worst bites I've ever gotten.
The itching hasn't stopped, and it's been a full week as of today.

Speaker 6 They got bit by them, and it won't let up, and new ones are popping up, but they're supposedly not contagious and not supposed to bite you more after you leave the woods.

Speaker 6 It's bad. This is the worst animal bite that I've ever encountered, and I've been bit by.
Yeah, no, you listed like 20 different animals that you've been bitten by before, which is an impressive list.

Speaker 6 But with the chiggers, are they laying eggs? Are there like babies being hatched that are now biting you?

Speaker 6 No, that's scabies, which I've had, which pales in comparison to this, because this is itching all the time, and it is so bad.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 I'm fighting through. I'm in a bit of a struggle, but we're getting through it.
It's terrible. It's honestly the worst.
So, no ivermectin.

Speaker 1 I don't even think that would help.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 6 But my cool throne is PFT because the experimental chemicals came, and

Speaker 1 he's on the road to recovery. This is why, by the way, can I just interject for a second, Billy? There was a time when people were like, five days a week, PMT.
This is what it would.

Speaker 1 This is what it would be. So, no, five days a week does not work.

Speaker 1 No, but

Speaker 1 Billy, I got a cool thing for you, Billy.

Speaker 7 Christian Dale should have.

Speaker 6 No, it's real.

Speaker 6 The research chemicals arrived today, and I had a long conversation with Billy about the injection, and it became very abundantly clear that Billy did not know, one, what the research chemicals were, and two, how much of them I should use and then three where I should be injecting them.

Speaker 6 So those are the big three whenever you're injecting medicine into your body.

Speaker 6 And so Billy has been doing some homework. I think he went and found like a clean syringe from a needle exchange place today.
I don't know. This all sounds a little

Speaker 1 sketchy for me.

Speaker 6 You know, thank you to New York City government giving out free needles because now we're going to cure PFD's elbow. So Billy's going to inject me with God knows what next week.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Can't even play disc golf in the woods. Speaking of that, that video is coming out today and tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So the get diff disc golf, the part of my take disc golf.

Speaker 7 Billy almost died.

Speaker 1 Billy risked his life. The part of my take disc golf grand slam presented by New Amsterdam Vodka.
We did the first two videos. They were teams.
The last two videos are straight one.

Speaker 1 Everyone man for themself. First nine holes.
Everyone's playing. Second nine holes, there's a three-man cut to see who's the Grand Slam champion of disc golf.

Speaker 1 So, check it out on the YouTube. Subscribe.

Speaker 1 Subscribe.

Speaker 1 Jake, finish us off before we get to Pete Prisco and Stu Feiner.

Speaker 8 My hot seat is the weekend. The weekend had a concert in LA and canceled mid-concert because he lost his voice.

Speaker 1 That's tough. Honest? That is.
It's tough. Mid-concert?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So, mid-concert.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to judge because we're getting to the point in the, you know, like, football season's about to be, I'm probably going to lose my voice, like, I don't know, three or four times. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 Prayers up to the weekend.

Speaker 6 There's really not a whole lot that you can do as a weekend if you do lose your voice. Like, what,

Speaker 6 do you want, like, the weekend to lip sync?

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's, yeah, there's nothing you can do.
Good.

Speaker 6 I heard a story about T Grizzly showing up to a frat that paid him $150K for a concert, and he performed one song and then walked off with the same excuse and just left.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 With the $150,000 love cash.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do?

Speaker 6 What are you going to do, T Grizzly?

Speaker 1 Yeah. True.
Facts.

Speaker 1 All right. Your cool throne?

Speaker 8 My cool throne, the Ohio State Buckeyes. Bronn, he had a visit and did hashtag not committed, but there's buzz like he is committed.
So keep an eye out on that.

Speaker 8 I don't know if you guys saw those pictures. LeBron was in that.

Speaker 6 Hashtag not committed.

Speaker 1 Not committed, but maybe committed.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we shall see.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Should we do Pete Prisco and Stu Finer? And then we have guys on Chicks on the other side. And the next time you hear from us, we're going to be talking about football, real NFL football.

Speaker 6 There will be football. Take the over.

Speaker 1 Take the over. Yes.
You're a scumbag if you don't. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I think we said we're taking the over on, I think it was May 12th. No matter

Speaker 6 22, taking this over. Didn't even know what the line was.

Speaker 1 Hammer it. Yeah.
Response. All right.
Let's get to Pete and Stu.

Speaker 6 Man, I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 11 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger.

Speaker 11 Remember Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else. Snickers satisfies, man.
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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Pete Prisco. He's the senior NFL columnist for CBS Sports.
Senior, that's big time. Also, you can see him on CBS Sports HQ.

Speaker 1 Pete, we want to do an NFL preview with you, and I have a very important question to start.

Speaker 1 Now that Tony Bisselli is in the Hall of Fame,

Speaker 1 what are you going to use all those extra hours that you used every single week to get, you know, to plead his case? Is it going to be convincing the world that Russell Wilson stinks?

Speaker 1 What's the plan?

Speaker 9 It's Fred Taylor time. That's what I said.
It's Fred Taylor time.

Speaker 9 And I think Fred has a legitimate chance to get in. And if you ask the players, like Derek Brooks and Ray Lewis, they all think he should be in.
So it's definitely Fred Taylor time.

Speaker 1 Oh, you should play for a while.

Speaker 6 So you've just kind of nominated yourself to be, you're like the Jacksonville Jaguars lobbyist.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 I used to cover the team. So I do what I can to get those guys in.

Speaker 6 Isn't that a little bit biased, though? Like, if you're putting on your Big J journalism hat, you shouldn't favor one team over any of the others, right?

Speaker 9 Oh, I, but, but that's the guys I can deal with.

Speaker 9 I can help. That's what this Hall of Fame voting process is, you know.
Guys in each city kind of nominate their guys. It's worse because I'm not in the room, but I know what goes on.

Speaker 9 I know there's some guys that probably trade out votes. I'll vote for your guy.
You vote for my guy kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's just going to be, I like the fact that you're going to get all the Jaguars in the Hall of Fame, and everyone's going to be like, man, that team won how many Super Bowls? Like, nope.

Speaker 1 Fucking Pete Crisco was just being angry at everyone for, he was annoying everyone in the media world for years and years afterwards. So now all the Jaguars are in.

Speaker 9 Well, in fact, when I saw the guys after COVID, I saw a lot of the writers and media guys that I pestered for a couple, for a long time at the owners' meetings.

Speaker 9 And every one of them came up to me and said, now you can leave me alone. Now you can leave me alone.
Now you can leave me alone. I said, no, it's Fred Taylor talking.

Speaker 1 All right, that's perfect. That's perfect.
All right. So, Pete, you've been at all the training camps.
You cover the league. You are a senior analyst, columnist, sorry.

Speaker 1 Let's start with the AFC. Let's start with the AFC.

Speaker 1 I don't know which direction you want to go.

Speaker 1 I'll give you this to start with. Is it the Bills

Speaker 1 and then everyone else?

Speaker 9 It's the Bills. It's definitely the Bills.
And I did go up there.

Speaker 9 I finally got to get, I saw you, I'm like you, I finally got to talk to Josh Allen on camera because like you guys, I've been one of the few guys that actually propped him up from the day he came out.

Speaker 9 And I finally got to talk to him. Yeah.
Yeah. So you guys, you guys, myself, and there's a few, there aren't many of us.
I can tell you that.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Day one guys with Josh Allen.
So I was reading something about him today that

Speaker 6 they're trying to encourage him to be less Josh Allen.

Speaker 6 And by that, I mean they're trying to minimize the hits that he takes, which I guess is smart, but they're trying to teach him, you know, okay, slide if you have a chance, go out of bounds instead of taking a hit.

Speaker 6 But I don't think that's Josh Allen. I think that that can last maybe a half, and then he's just going to revert to playing the way that he's always played, which is see somebody run somebody over.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but here's the thing about Josh Allen. Okay, if they want to do that, then quit calling the design runs for him.
I mean, that's an easy way to eliminate some of those hits.

Speaker 9 He's great when he gets outside the pocket and he can move. And you're right.
He's probably not going to start sliding.

Speaker 9 He should. But the design runs, those are the ones they got to get away from because the quarterback sweeps that they run, and yeah, sometimes they work, but they run too many of them.

Speaker 9 So I'm with you. Get away from that.
But boy, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 9 If they play like they did against the Chiefs, and I'm a big believer that's the way they should play, up tempo, throw it around, get those guys in space, they can put up a ton of points.

Speaker 9 The problem is... I still think Sean McDermott, in his defensive mentality, would like to play great defense and try and maybe not play as free and loose as they should.

Speaker 9 I hope he doesn't do that because I think they can put up a ton of points.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then also from your visit to their camp, is there any issue with Brian Dable now being with the Giants?

Speaker 1 Because obviously that's not, I wouldn't say a concern, but whenever you shift over a prolific offense and an offensive coordinator goes gets another job, you got to be like, okay, this is going to be a little different for a while.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it'll be an adjustment.

Speaker 9 I don't think it's going to be a major adjustment because, you know, Dorsey's a good coach. He's a smart football guy.
He's been around and Josh has taken to him already.

Speaker 9 So I don't think it's going to be that big of an adjustment. You know, the biggest adjustment is the offensive line has to be better, which I think it will be.

Speaker 9 They have to run the ball when you need to run the ball. And that's been a problem for them at times.
But with all those weapons, and, you know, Gabriel Davis looks like a different dude.

Speaker 9 His body's different. He runs better routes.
He's going to put up big numbers in that offense. And the biggest and best thing about that team on the other side.

Speaker 1 is now they have eight guys on defense they can rotate in and one of them is von miller yeah i mean they come in waves on that defensive line that's going to be a really good defense when they get jodavious white back well we're rooting for the people of buffalo uh we love we love buffalo and we love the bills uh all right so if not the bills give us the other i don't know maybe let's go rattle off two or three teams that you see in the afc and then we'll talk about some specific teams after that

Speaker 9 Yeah, I think you got to go to the West. I don't think, you know, I joke around and call the West the SEC of the

Speaker 1 Bill. I mean,

Speaker 9 what's that? That's a funny joke.

Speaker 6 It's a good line. That's a really funny joke.

Speaker 9 Well, I mean, it is.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, you know, the SEC's king.

Speaker 9 I went to school with the Pac-12, and the Pac-12 is garbage. I mean, so I can sit here and say, you saw two teams go and lose already.
But I think when you look at the SEC, I mean, the AFC West.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got yourself. Damn.

Speaker 9 Well, that's what it is. It's loaded.
Who's the best team? The Chiefs probably are, but you can make a case for the Chargers.

Speaker 9 And you can make a case that the Raiders and Broncos are going to be playoff teams. So if I look at the

Speaker 9 three best teams in that division for me, you guys are going to say, oh, it's Russell Wilson, eight. That's not what it is.
I think it's the Chiefs one, Chargers two, and the Raiders three.

Speaker 1 That's how I see that.

Speaker 6 You still do hate him. I'm surprised that you even like Josh Allen because when Josh Allen got to the league, you probably didn't expect him to run the ball as much as he does.

Speaker 6 And now you probably hate him more. You hate running quarterbacks, Pete.

Speaker 9 I'm not a big fan of running quarterbacks. And oh, by the way, as big as Josh Allen is, look what the big bodies did to Cam Newton's body.
Remember, big physically could run over anybody.

Speaker 9 His body broke down. The NFL defensive players are nasty and violent.
I don't care how big you are. They're eventually going to wear you down.
And you got to be able to throw from the pocket.

Speaker 9 Josh Allen can do that. Russell Wilson can do that.
And eventually you have to get to where you can go through your progression to get the ball out.

Speaker 6 Do you like what Brandon Staley does on fourth downs?

Speaker 1 If I were to... Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 I could see that one coming. You absolutely go ape shit.
Like when you're true football guy. When he called a run on fourth and one on their own 18 last year, you probably had a stroke.

Speaker 9 Almost. I mean, it's ridiculous.
You know, I'll give you a story too, because my dad's 86. He's been watching football forever.
He calls me up.

Speaker 9 He goes, what's that 17-year-old fucking coach from the Chargers doing on fourth down?

Speaker 1 All the fucking die.

Speaker 9 And I said, there you go, dad. I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 9 But I mean, I just don't get it. There's a diff, there's a, there has to be a way where you get into flow of game that supersedes just going for it because the analytics say it should.

Speaker 9 And the other thing is, and I've had this argument many a time with all the analytics guys, is a fourth in an inch is not the same as fourth and 40 inches, yet on the stat sheet it is.

Speaker 9 So it's a different play. Game flow matters.
You can't just go for it because you played Madden when you were 14. It makes no sense to me.
Game flow matters. If it's 45, 41, go for it.

Speaker 9 If it's 9-6 and neither team has moved the ball, you don't go for it. It's really simple.
It's not that complicated.

Speaker 1 I think PFT and I both agree that

Speaker 1 I like the aggressive nature, but the analytics never factor in the human element of the deflation you have when you don't get it.

Speaker 1 And if you do that over and over, and then you're putting stress on your defense and giving them bad field position,

Speaker 1 that part always never made sense to me where it's like.

Speaker 1 Like sometimes

Speaker 1 the way the game is going, getting three points is going to be more important than risking to get another first down.

Speaker 9 I'm in agreement agreement with you on that. Here's the other, but do you think about this, though?

Speaker 9 If the ball is on the inch line, right, what's it say on the stat sheet?

Speaker 1 Fourth and inches. It says one Pete Prisco.

Speaker 9 What's it say if it's just inside the two? Fourth and one.

Speaker 1 It's not the same play. Pete Prisco, yeah.

Speaker 1 They do have fourth and inches, though.

Speaker 6 That's a thing.

Speaker 9 But it's not on the not on the data they input.

Speaker 13 Whose computer data are you looking at?

Speaker 1 Whose spreadsheet?

Speaker 9 It's the data they use is on the yards. That's where the data comes from.
Because I've talked, you know, Tony Khan, that his father owns a Jaguars, he works in the team.

Speaker 9 He has a bunch of analytics companies. And I've told him, I said, Tony, when you can factor in fourth and inches being the same as fourth and 45 inches, then you can talk about your analytics.

Speaker 9 Until then,

Speaker 9 it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I just want to say we don't agree with you because I'm pretty sure they do do that. I'm almost 100% sure.
No, they do not.

Speaker 1 I'm going to text Tony Khan right now.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to find out.

Speaker 6 I'm going to find out if he has a difference between

Speaker 1 one yard and one inch.

Speaker 1 So I want to change. I hope you never change your mind, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm distancing myself from Pete because my take is more about the game flow and not the fact that they don't know how to judge an inch versus

Speaker 1 30 inches because they definitely do.

Speaker 6 Regardless of...

Speaker 1 No, they do know how to judge it, but in the data they input and use, they don't judge it.

Speaker 9 I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 6 regardless of whether or not I'm right or I'm wrong on this, I hope you don't don't change your opinion based on what I tell you.

Speaker 6 I like that you're dug in right now.

Speaker 1 I do have a question for you.

Speaker 9 And you know what?

Speaker 9 I like analytics. Use them, but

Speaker 9 they're not the end-all-be-all that they make them.

Speaker 1 That part I totally agree with because how a team is coached, like the human element of sports is something that a computer can never figure out.

Speaker 1 And there is how a team responds, guys respond, you know, time and place that it's just not, you can't do it straight from a spreadsheet.

Speaker 1 I i think analytics like for the teams that use them are smarter and and you should embrace them but you also need to have the ability to be like let's not use this every single time

Speaker 9 i mean but everybody's used analytics if you're smart you used them even before they became chic you always used your stats and your data well yeah no he hates numbers i love this it's just about numbers They were just using different analytics before.

Speaker 6 Like analytics have always been a thing.

Speaker 6 If you look at baseball, the first person that came up and pitched batting average to them, they're like, look at this this fucking nerd, but then it catches on and then it lasts for you know 40, 50 years as the number one thing that people base their decisions on.

Speaker 6 It's all analytics all the way back. They just change what's defined as being important analytics.

Speaker 9 Yeah, and baseball, you can use analytics more because it's one-on-one. It's not, you know, it's pitcher against the batter.
That's what it is. It's not 11 guys playing 11 guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What were you going to ask, PFT?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I was going to just bring up, you remember how weird that game was with the Jaguars last year? The Jaguars-Bills game?

Speaker 9 Yeah. Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 What happened there?

Speaker 1 The Jaguars won that game that was nine to six, right?

Speaker 6 People kind of forgot about that game.

Speaker 6 That was the last time that the Bills looked, well, I guess in that Monday night game with the weather, they didn't look good in that one either, but that's kind of, you can throw that one out there.

Speaker 6 Did the Jaguars figure out the Bills? Is there anything we can go back and look at? Be like, hey, here's the blueprint.

Speaker 9 I've got to remember.

Speaker 9 Okay, it wasn't Josh Allen, but when they played him in the playoffs one year with Tyra Taylor, they were terrible too and limited him i think to six points in that game it was a windy though scheme to play defenses i think that was blake portal's game in the playoffs it was very windy yeah it was yeah but still i mean no i look joe cullen did a really good job with that defense last year because they were undermanned and the fact that they limited that team to six points is amazing i mean it's like when you go back and look like the saints had a really good defense and there's always the aberration games they were number one in the run run defense and the eagles gassed them for like 180 yards i mean there's always those games.

Speaker 9 Somehow, someway they come out, and that's one of them. Yeah, of course, if they played the Bills, they played the Bills 10 times, the Bills would score 39 of those times.

Speaker 9 They just didn't do it that one time.

Speaker 1 All right, sticking with the AFC, a couple more questions about that division or conference, sorry. The Bengals.

Speaker 1 I think we all, we love Joe Burrow. The Bengals were a great story last year.
Do you think that they're up at that level with the Chiefs, with the Bills?

Speaker 9 I'm not going to say the Chargers because i i want the chargers to make the playoffs before i start putting them up there but like are they up there with some of these teams that we expect to be very very dominant throughout the year yes they are okay and the reason being the offensive line is going to be better i mean that kid got brutalized last year he got sacked and hit and got the ball out and they still put up points and and so yeah they're going to be much better i mean look the receivers are amazing he's he's outstanding he's tough he's got that attitude.

Speaker 9 And the offensive line will be better. Don't forget what the defense did.
They got much better as the season moved along. They're definitely in the mix.
I think they're the best team in that division.

Speaker 9 You know, the thing they're going to have to deal with is being

Speaker 9 the team that everybody's gunning for now.

Speaker 9 And when you're that team, it's different. When you sneak up on people, it's different than getting people getting your number one

Speaker 9 game every week in and week out. So I think they're going to be really good.

Speaker 9 I saw him at camp, and

Speaker 9 it was right after, about two weeks after appendicitis, and he looked like, he didn't look good. He looked thin, really thin.
So I'm curious to see how he's regained that weight since then.

Speaker 9 That was a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1 He'll be fine. He'll be fine.
So give me in the AFC

Speaker 1 your team that you're going to be most disappointed in and the team that's going to shock everyone. And then we will make sure that we

Speaker 1 call you up on this at the end of the season.

Speaker 9 The Broncos will be the most disappointing team.

Speaker 9 And it's not because of Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 You hate it. You think he's going to have a big year.

Speaker 9 I think their offensive line has issues, and they have a couple other issues on defense. I think that could be a problem for him.
So that's not, it's not because of him. Believe me, it's not.

Speaker 9 And I think Nate Hackett's going to be a really good coach. I saw your interview with him.
I think he's fun. He's going to be a different type of coach, but I think he's going to be a good coach.

Speaker 9 And then, so they'll just, I think Tennessee is going to take a step back a little bit. If you're looking for the surprise of the surprise teams, I'm not sure there is one.

Speaker 9 I'll give you the team that's going to be a little bit better than everybody thinks they'll be. The Texans.

Speaker 1 Yep. Okay.
Agreed.

Speaker 6 Agreed. Mills Mafia.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 I'm a big Davis Mills guy.

Speaker 9 I liked him coming out, and I think he's one of those guys that has that swagger and that feel about him. I think he's going to be much better.

Speaker 9 And Nico Collins is going to have a big year for them as well. I think the Texans are going to, they're not going to win 10 games, but they're going to be better than you think they are.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know, Davis Mills, he was the number one ranked quarterback when he was being recruited into college. So he was like a five-star guy.
He's still got that somewhere inside.

Speaker 6 Who's their running back? The rookie that they drafted.

Speaker 9 Oh, Pierce from Florida.

Speaker 6 That guy's going to be good.

Speaker 6 I've watched him run a few times this preseason. He's got the PFT eyeball stamp on him.

Speaker 9 And that's, you know what? When you get that PFT eyeball stamp, you know where you're going. You're going right to the top.

Speaker 1 Straight to the top. I'm just going to throw this out there.
If you put $1,000 on the Houston Texans to win the AFC South, you'd win $25,000. Wow.

Speaker 9 And really, when you think about the South,

Speaker 1 I mean, it's the Pac-12 of the Pac-12 of the AFC, if I had to say something.

Speaker 9 It might be worse than that. I mean, I like the Colts because I think Matt Ryan will be good in that thing, but they have some issues as well.
And then you go to the Titans.

Speaker 9 Is Ryan Tannehill their long-term starter?

Speaker 6 No, I think he's going to be, but we know what he is by now, and

Speaker 6 he's going to be a little inconsistent. They are getting a lot of disrespect, though.

Speaker 6 I'm going to put on my Titans' Titans respect hat real quick because I feel like nobody's talking about the fact that they were the number one seed last year out of the entire division and they had the most players play for them of any team in NFL history.

Speaker 6 That's how injured they were. People talk about the Ravens being the most injured team ever.
The Titans actually had the most players in NFL history suit up for their team last year.

Speaker 6 So while I don't think that they can win a Super Bowl, I still think that they're the team to beat in that division.

Speaker 1 And Mike Frable is just a great coach.

Speaker 9 He is a good coach. And they take on his personality.
Aren't they the same team every year? Just physical, nasty, run the ball, you know.

Speaker 9 But at some point, you got to be able to throw the ball better than they throw it.

Speaker 1 Well, and I wouldn't be shocked if Malik Willis is, at the end of this year, is starting for them. Because you're right.
Like, Ryan Tannehill is clearly not the long-term, you know, solution for them.

Speaker 1 And they're clearly looking for.

Speaker 9 I don't know if Malik Willis is either.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Pete, have you seen him? But they're going to try him? Yeah, they're going to see.

Speaker 9 Please don't

Speaker 9 judge anybody based on the the preseason.

Speaker 1 Well, guess what? I am.

Speaker 6 I'm putting the PFT eyeball stamp on him, too. He's good.

Speaker 1 I actually have the big cat eyeball stamp on him sucking because I watched him at Liberty. But if PFT saw him at preseason, I'll trust his opinion.

Speaker 9 I said before the draft that I would have drafted him in the third round, and everybody killed me. Killed me.
And he got drafted in the third round. That's where he should have got drafted.

Speaker 9 Damn, Pete.

Speaker 1 He did it again. He did it again.
That's why you're the senior columnist. All right,

Speaker 1 let's talk NFC.

Speaker 9 Oh, believe me, I thought Christian Ponder would be good, so I got that question.

Speaker 1 Oh, bro. We knew he's

Speaker 1 actually maybe the worst quarterback in the history of the NFL.

Speaker 6 Yes. If you take an objective look at the stats, people don't talk enough about just how bad of a quarterback he was.
Terrible.

Speaker 9 He was terrible. And by the way, Rick Spielman now works with us, so I can go, hey, Rick, I had it wrong too, but it didn't hurt me at all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why now we're colleagues.

Speaker 6 He's got to look at himself in the mirror.

Speaker 9 He's good on the air, though. If you ever want to get him on the air, he's good on there.

Speaker 1 Okay, so NFC.

Speaker 9 He'll say anything.

Speaker 6 Give us your.

Speaker 1 I don't know where to go. The NFC is wide open, in my opinion.
It's a lot different than the AFC. You know, everyone has the Packers, the Bucs, the Rams, but I've fallen in love with the Eagles.

Speaker 1 I have a future on them.

Speaker 1 I think the Vikings are going to be good. There's a lot of teams.
So why don't you start with who you think is going to win it, the NFC, and then maybe the surprising team?

Speaker 9 The Packers are going to win it, in my mind. I think,

Speaker 9 and not because of their offense this time around. I think their defense has a chance to be nasty.

Speaker 9 I mean, that secondary might be by the end of the year, middle of the year, going to be the best secondary in the league if they all stay on the field.

Speaker 9 You know, you get Alexander and Stokes there playing corner. You got the two safeties can play.
I think Rashawn Gary is going to have a breakout year.

Speaker 9 They drafted the two kids from Georgia who are going to be good players. They're going to be, and Kenny Clark's good player.
They're going to be much better on defense.

Speaker 9 And in fact, I think the defense will carry them early on. And you know, Rodgers will get it going.
So they're going to be really good. But I'm with you on the Vikings.

Speaker 9 You know, when I watched the Vikings, I was there a couple of weeks ago. They're a different team, different feel.
And they're going to score a ton of points.

Speaker 9 The question with the Vikings becomes, what happens in crunch time?

Speaker 9 Does Kirk Cousins get it done in crunch time? Or does he get the glazed look on his face that you saw?

Speaker 9 You know, and he's like, you're like, get out of it. Snap out of it.
You made a bad play. Go play the next play.
And sometimes he can't do that. And in big games, if you can't do that,

Speaker 9 you're not going very far.

Speaker 6 What about the Lions? Everybody's rooting for the Lions because of hard knocks.

Speaker 6 You can't not root for Dan Campbell to

Speaker 6 outperform expectations a little bit. I think that seven wins for the Lions is a good season, right?

Speaker 1 They can be happy.

Speaker 6 With seven wins.

Speaker 9 They're really good on the offensive line. They do like Jared Goff more than people think they do.

Speaker 9 I think defensively, they have some issues, and that could be a problem, but they're going to be feisty and tough every single week.

Speaker 9 i'm with you i think they're building to next year and if golf has a good year he'll be the guy if he doesn't have a good year they'll go get another quarterback but i i i i think they're going to be a tough out week in and week out and they're the third team in the division i'll give you a team that i i wasn't sure i would really like them and i left there thinking i'm i really do like them and that's the saints that defense my gosh across the board they have so much talent on defense everywhere.

Speaker 9 And, you know, we know Jordan's a really good defensive end. The guy they're raving about is Davenport, and he might end up being their best defensive player this year.

Speaker 9 The only thing is, does Jameis take care of the ball? If he takes care of the ball, and think about this, their top three receivers,

Speaker 9 the second three were the guys they were throwing to last year.

Speaker 9 The top three are all new. You get Thomas back, you got Olave, and you got Jarvis Landry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Thomas.

Speaker 6 Thomas, I think, could be a game changer for the four games that he actually suits up this year.

Speaker 1 But Jameis, you've seen Jameis.

Speaker 9 He already had a hamstring injury, by the way. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 He's got a little bit of a hamstring.

Speaker 6 He always will. But with Jameis, you've watched him play in training camp, right? You saw him taking reps.
How sweet does he look?

Speaker 9 I mean, he's in the best shape of his life, like everybody is at this time of the year, but he was throwing the ball well.

Speaker 9 Again, though, like every coach who's ever coached, Jameis has told me, you got to get him to quit being a hero. You can take the check down.
You can take the quick slant.

Speaker 9 Everything doesn't have to be a home run. And that's why he threw all those picks when he was with Tampa Bay.

Speaker 9 So if he can get that mentality, and Sean Payton did a great job of preaching that into him, if this staff does and he doesn't turn it over, they're going to be a good team.

Speaker 9 In fact, I think they win the division. I don't think the Bucs win the division.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 6 We're going to get back to Pete Prisco in a second.

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Speaker 1 Am I stupid for my hype on the Eagles? I feel like they have been hyped, you know, a lot.

Speaker 1 They have, to me, one of the best rosters. They just, it's whether Jalen Hurts can be good or not.

Speaker 9 I love the... I saw them here.
They were, I went to go watch their, their workout.

Speaker 9 They were supposed to have a practice with the second day with Miami, and Miami had diarrhea, and so they didn't practice that day. And

Speaker 9 I talked to some players, I go, can you imagine back in the old days if guys had diarrhea and you called off practice? I mean, you know, but they did.

Speaker 9 And the Eagles practiced, and I watched them, and Jalen Hurts is much better.

Speaker 9 Much better.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 9 I remember last year was going through his reads. He didn't always get through them.
That was a problem. Well, now he's going through the progressions and he's getting through them.

Speaker 9 And guys I talked to said had an outstanding camp in terms of going through his progressions. And the day before, when I wasn't there, I was in New Orleans.

Speaker 9 The day before, he didn't have some big plays down the field and they criticized him on the media.

Speaker 9 And Sirianni came out the next day and said, no, he graded out the exact way we wanted him to grade out. He was going to the right reads and the right progressions.
And that's big for them.

Speaker 9 Being on them is the right way. I think they win that division.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, I mean, the A.J.
Brown, like, how are teams going to guard them when they have, you know, Devontae Smith, I think, is going to be a fantastic career. He showed flashes of it last year.

Speaker 1 Jalen Hurts probably limited how great he would have been if he had been with like a seasoned vet. He probably would have been a rookie of the year type guy.
And now you have A.J.

Speaker 1 Brown on the other side of the field. How are you going to guard both those guys?

Speaker 9 And you know what? He's gained weight.

Speaker 9 You know, Devontae Smith, which he needed to do. And he said, because he likes to go to Wawa and eat their sandwiches.
So that's how he gained his weight.

Speaker 9 I don't don't know if that's the right way to do it, but it's a good plug for Wawa.

Speaker 9 I think, I'm with you. I think that team, and the offensive line, might be the best in the league across the board.
They're really good. He got Goddard to throw the ball to the tight ends.

Speaker 9 Now, the running backs aren't great, but in that system, they don't need to be great. They just need to be guys who do stuff in space, and they can do that.
So I'm with you.

Speaker 9 I think the Eagles are the best team in that division. I think they win the division.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, what about Jalen Hurts? Because I think that I've read that while his wide receiver has been gaining weight, he's lost weight, right?

Speaker 6 He's gotten skinnier.

Speaker 9 Yeah, and looks like a different guy. And he can fly anyways.
I mean, he can really move.

Speaker 9 But that's not the issue with him. The issue is, is he going to go through his progressions, which he didn't do a great job of last year.

Speaker 9 And everybody says he's doing a much better job of it this year. And if they do that, they can win 11, 12 games.

Speaker 6 What about what's going on in San Francisco? It's been really weird this offseason. Jimmy G was going to get traded.
He got to surgery at a weird time, came back.

Speaker 6 He didn't want to be back, but they're like, okay, we'll restructure your contract, just kind of hang out for a while. Oh, shit, now we got to trade Nate Sudfeld because you're coming back.

Speaker 6 It seems like a very, like it's a marriage of convenience out there right now, right? Like Jimmy G is not happy there, obviously.

Speaker 6 But at the same time, how quick of a leash are they going to have on Trey Lance if after like two weeks, he's not getting it done and they've got a team that's built to win now?

Speaker 9 Bringing Daroppolo back was a hedge. That's what that was.
They're not convinced about Trey Lance. They can can talk all they want about being convinced of Trey Lance.
I don't believe him.

Speaker 9 And I know, I talked to some people that when he had a workout, when he worked out against the Vikings, that it wasn't a great day. And some of the players said that.
And so there's concern there.

Speaker 9 And there has to be. I mean, his motion is a little different.
It's a little funky. I mean, he's a big, strong kid, and he can move.
And I hear he's a great kid, first one in, last one out.

Speaker 9 But again, that's a hedge. They're convinced that they have a good team right now.
And if things don't go well for Trey Lance early, then I think you could see Jimmy Garoppolo back in the lineup.

Speaker 9 I mean, Jimmy Garoppolo is not great either, but you got to have a guy that

Speaker 9 you believe in. And if they don't believe in Trey Lance, I think Garoppolo could be back in as the starter.

Speaker 1 It's crazy because, you know, Garoppolo, the Garoppolo defenders always throw his record out there. And then people who watch the games are like, well, yeah, of course, he's had a good record.

Speaker 1 But there are the one or two throws that you need him to make, the one in the Super Bowl. If he makes that throw, the 49ers are champions.

Speaker 1 But the 49ers roster, that's another one where it's like their top three roster, top four roster. Like, they had to bring him back, right? Because

Speaker 1 if there is.

Speaker 9 Yeah, the middle of their offensive line is an issue. That could be an issue for them.

Speaker 9 And I know the way they scheme things up and the way they run, it's probably less of an issue than on some teams, but they got an entire new group in there.

Speaker 9 And that's going to be a problem for them, I think, early in the season. But I'm with you.

Speaker 9 The roster is good, really good. They got stars.
I mean, that's when you look at the teams that are good, they have stars. You know, Samuel and

Speaker 9 Kittle and on the other side of the ball, Bosa and that group. I mean, they have stars on that team.
So you win with stars and you make sure your roster is supplemented. And Chanahan's a great coach.

Speaker 9 I mean, he gets the best out of all those guys, but he will be challenged this year with a young quarterback. We'll see what he does early in the season.
I'm curious to see what Lance does.

Speaker 1 I'm guessing you're not a huge Kyler Murray guy.

Speaker 9 I mean, you got to do it down the stretch. He hadn't done it down the stretch.
You know, you wilt in the moment.

Speaker 9 You know, he's been banged up. He's been hurt.
And, you know, great starts. And all of a sudden, goes, you know, go down downtown.

Speaker 9 And I think you've got to be able to be good in December, November, December. And he's just been okay.
And for that contract, he better be much better than that this time around.

Speaker 6 Yeah. And how are you feeling about Dak? Are you a believer in the Cowboys?

Speaker 6 I think the Cowboys might be that same thing that the Titans are, where the Cowboys, they've got a good roster on paper, right? Like they've got some playmakers, especially on defense.

Speaker 6 Like, Micah Parsons might be the best defender in the league. Not named Aaron Donald, probably.
Sorry, Aaron, if you're listening to this, don't stab me. But, yeah, I feel like the Cowboys are

Speaker 6 a team no one's really talking about, which is weird for Dallas.

Speaker 9 It is weird, and I think the Tyron Smith injury is going to be a big one for them. And I know they're signing Jason Peters, and he'll play there for, you know, until Smith comes back.

Speaker 9 But that's, he ain't the same. He's not bad, but he's not the same player, and that hurts him.
But I like Dak. I think if, and they got to run the ball better.

Speaker 9 The offensive line's been a little bit up and down the last couple of years, and it might be this year early in the season. You don't know what steel is at right tackle.

Speaker 9 You have the uncertainty of starting a rookie early on at left tackle. So you don't know what they're going to be.
And, you know, Elliott's got to be better. They paid him a boatload of money.

Speaker 9 If he doesn't play well this year, he's out of there. And I think he knows that, and he's looked good so far in camp.
But I'm with you. I think Dallas is probably the second team in that division.

Speaker 9 I like Washington's makeup,

Speaker 9 you know, before camp and everything. But

Speaker 9 Chase Young not being back and some other things, I'm a little concerned about that.

Speaker 1 The Cowboys are interesting this year because I do like Dak as well, not as a guest, but as a player.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 they actually might benefit from the fact that they will probably start a little slow.

Speaker 1 Because it feels like every year it's like whenever they have that hot start and everyone's like, the Cowboys are back. You know, Gallup not

Speaker 1 starting the season. And Tyron Smith not starting the season.
Like, they might be one of those teams that gets better down the stretch. And that's the team that you want in the playoffs.

Speaker 9 Well, they're going to have to navigate early on. You're right, because they're going to be better as they get through it, but you got to make sure you don't go too far behind.

Speaker 9 And I don't think in that division they will, even though I'm with you on the Eagles, I think they're going to be good. I don't think they'll fall that far behind.
This is going to put more on Dak.

Speaker 9 Look, he can do it, but let's see. Now you got to carry the team more.
It's more on your shoulders. And remember,

Speaker 9 when Tyron Smith hasn't been there, they've had big problems. He's been hit a ton.
So he's got to carry the team.

Speaker 9 And I think this is an opportunity for him to show people, look, this is who I am as a quarterback, and I'm better than you think I am.

Speaker 1 So give us the shocking team in the NFC and the disappointing team.

Speaker 9 I think the Bucs are going to be a little disappointing. And I don't know why I believe that.

Speaker 9 I think they might be a playoff team. I just don't think they're going to win the division and win 13, 12 games.
I think they're going to sneak in. And they'll be dangerous if they get in.

Speaker 9 I think they're going to sneak in. I think that losing those guys on the offensive line hurts them.

Speaker 9 And Brady, when he has interior pressure, and it's all in the interior, when you have interior pressure,

Speaker 9 I mean, no quarterback likes it, but he doesn't move that well, and he really doesn't like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 When Allie Marpet went down, I think it was last year or two years ago, it was like shocking how much worse the Bucs were. It was just that guy.
And now, obviously, he retired. So, okay, I like that.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 9 Jensen's hurt. And, you know, they got issues on that line.
Now, Shaq Mason's a good player in there, but they have issues on that line.

Speaker 9 And the Saints somehow get into their heads a little bit when they play him. Remember, they shut him out last year.
Nothing.

Speaker 9 They shut out Brady in that offense last year to nothing.

Speaker 1 And Godwin's coming off a knee injury.

Speaker 9 We don't know if Godwin's how he's going to be.

Speaker 9 I think Tampa might be going in the wrong direction team.

Speaker 6 I like what you're doing here because I feel like 10 years ago, people started to do the, I don't believe in Tom Brady. I think he's too old.
The game has passed him by.

Speaker 6 Then he went on on a 10-year run that has never been duplicated in the history of football. But at the start of those 10 years, people would like doubt him every offseason because of his age.

Speaker 6 You could bring that back and be like, you know what? I think 45 years is too old for Tom Brady. I think maybe it's time for him to hang it up.
And you could finally be the person that's right.

Speaker 9 No, because I don't think that, though. I watched him throw when I was there for training camp.
My God, his ball, it still zips all over the place.

Speaker 9 His arm has gotten stronger, if you can believe that. It's amazing.
And he, no, it's not not going to be because of him. It's going to be because he gets hit and they don't have the weapons outside.

Speaker 9 Maybe Godwin's not what he used to be. I think those are the issues that he might face.
It's not because of him. He can still play at a high level.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then the shocking team in the NFC.

Speaker 9 By shocking, you mean go deep into postseason?

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just be way better than people are expecting. So you can't pick a team that people are expecting to be good.

Speaker 9 I think New Orleans is going to be way better than people. I said that earlier.
I think they will be. And I'm with you.

Speaker 9 You know what? I saw those three teams in three straight days. I saw the Vikings, the Saints, and the Eagles.
And all three of them I left there saying those are three playoff teams.

Speaker 9 All three of them. So those are the three teams that I think you have to keep an eye on.
I don't think like the Bears, no offense, but I don't think the Bears are going to be very good.

Speaker 9 No, they're going to. I don't think they'll be a playoff team.
I don't think Seattle's any good. I'm not sure about Arizona.

Speaker 9 You know, the Giants, who knows? By the way, I do like the Giants opening week, getting this, what are they getting, six and a half this week against Tennessee? Yep. Would you take them?

Speaker 6 Yes, I think so. We were talking about a lot of underdogs in this room right now.
Are you thinking about taking the Jags against the Commanders?

Speaker 9 Yeah, if they win that game outright.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we were talking about that. I hate to admit it, but I also tend to agree with that.

Speaker 9 I'm with you on the Dogs this week. I think there's going to be a lot of dogs that are in play this week.

Speaker 6 We didn't talk about the Dolphins. I'm very curious in the Dolphins this year because of the McDaniels or McDaniel experiment that they're doing down there.

Speaker 6 He wasn't their first choice, and he seems like a cool guy, like a breath of fresh air. I'm going to go out of limb and say you don't think that he can get it done in the like leader of men category.

Speaker 9 I don't know if he can.

Speaker 6 You don't know.

Speaker 9 But I will say this. What would your dad say if he had walked 30, no, my dad would

Speaker 9 30 years ago, that guy walked in a room, they said, I'm going to be the head coach. They would, oh, yeah, sure, you are.

Speaker 9 I mean, that's just how the game has changed. He's a brilliant offensive mind.
He's brilliant. But Ken think, when things go wrong, how does he handle it? Because he's been rah-rah.

Speaker 9 Every other word out of his mouth is two-a-the-disa and two at the that and two it, two it, two.

Speaker 9 All you do is pump the guy up. Well, let's see when he gets on the field in the game.
Then when it goes bad, then what do you do? That's how you define a coach.

Speaker 9 When it goes bad, do you get him out from underneath it? And I don't know. We don't know if he can at all.
And by the way, I once had a nice conversation with him at the Combine.

Speaker 9 He was the run game coordinator of the Falcons. And I said, all you had to do was take three knees and you got a ring on your finger.
And you know what he told me?

Speaker 9 Our analytics said that we should have.

Speaker 9 I said, oh, it's the Super Bowl. You throw your analytics the hell out the window and you take three knees and kick a field goal and you got a ring on your damn finger.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love that. I love that.
All right. So

Speaker 6 by the way, Pete, breaking news here. I just got a text back from Tony Kahn, your guy.

Speaker 6 He said, tell Pete, since we first had this conversation years ago, the tech has totally changed, and now we actually do give the data that way. Now we can tell if it's a long one or a short one.

Speaker 6 Yeah. So I guess welcome to the analytics revolution, Pete.

Speaker 1 There's no way you were right about that.

Speaker 9 And this was only a couple years ago when I had that conversation with him. He could say all he wants about a long time ago and that.

Speaker 9 So I still don't think the data that the teams use, that most people use, isn't broken down by inches. So when you have Twitter cult, when you have Twitter cult going, our our data says to go for it

Speaker 9 here because we got, they don't have the same data. Yeah, no, they don't.

Speaker 1 They do that data. No, they know they do.
They all know the difference.

Speaker 1 Do you have it? No, yes. I see it on my Twitter feed.
They know the difference between, I think like the New York Times has a fourth down.

Speaker 13 Fourth down by down.

Speaker 1 Literally, like the nerdiest paper ever has the fucking better football knowledge than you, Pete.

Speaker 9 They have that. Just because you have the data doesn't mean you have good football knowledge.

Speaker 6 That's also true. That is true.

Speaker 1 You're different. All right.
But

Speaker 1 there were some data.

Speaker 6 That's why you have to have a nerd who's smart enough to make good contributions, but also nerdy enough to be able to get absolutely steamrolled when he's being a big dork about things.

Speaker 9 You hire a nerd on the sidelines and let him sit there and he'll go, hey, college show. We should go for this because the data says that we should go for this.

Speaker 9 And you look at him and you go, okay, we'll go for it. And then it messes up and you cost you the game.
And then you swat the guy with a backhand. That's what you do.

Speaker 1 You're a good guy. That's all.
You're a good guy to have on your staff. 100%.

Speaker 6 We're running out of time here, but I did want to get your take because we were talking before you got on the Zoom about who the best Italians in the NFL are.

Speaker 6 I feel like there's no more Italians in the league anymore.

Speaker 9 You know, there really isn't.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Like, Danny Amendola was the last really.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, the bosas. The bosas.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Gino. Gino Smith.
Yeah. Famous Italian.

Speaker 9 Hey, I got a cat named Gino.

Speaker 9 Cool stuff. No, you're right.
There really are men. The Bosas, though, they got the Roman nose.

Speaker 1 They're definitely Italian. You can say that.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 Jake Coomero wasn't.

Speaker 6 I think his. No, he's not.

Speaker 9 No, I think it's Eric Coomero. His father.
I used to know his father's father. No, but his mom.

Speaker 1 His mother.

Speaker 1 His mom's daughter of one of, like, yeah.

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 9 But Cumaro's mom is Bosa's.

Speaker 1 That's right. So, yeah, so he's Italian.
So you just prove my point. He's Italian.

Speaker 9 I've actually got drunk back in the day with Eric Kumara once, way back in the day. He's a good dude.
Yeah, but he was a quarterback who turned into a linebacker.

Speaker 1 But you proved my point he's Italian.

Speaker 9 Well, he's honorary.

Speaker 7 We'll give him the honorary.

Speaker 6 He's half Italian.

Speaker 9 He's the brother of the mother.

Speaker 9 Do you know if the mother's Italian? The mother's not Italian. The father is.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 You just said that his mother is a bosa.

Speaker 9 Kumaro's sister is the bosa's mother. Nick and Joey's mother.
You see that? It doesn't mean she's Italian.

Speaker 1 Wait, what? Kumaro's sister is Joey Bosa's

Speaker 1 what? Wait, what?

Speaker 9 Mother.

Speaker 6 Kumaro's sister, Joey Bosa's mother. But Joey Bosa's dad is Italian, is what you're saying.
And we don't know if his mom is.

Speaker 1 He's the great guy. No, he's the great-grandson of Tony Acardo.

Speaker 1 I knew that he was the fucking grandson of one of the Italian mobsters.

Speaker 9 Eric Cumaro is?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at it right now. I'm looking at it right now.
I knew this.

Speaker 9 But Kumaro is not an Italian name.

Speaker 1 I understand that, but he's still coming to the bottom.

Speaker 9 So maybe his mother was Ricardo's family.

Speaker 1 That's what we're looking at here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's where the analytics are leading us.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 9 that's genealogy analytics.

Speaker 1 Oh, analytics, yeah.

Speaker 6 They can't tell the difference between 50 and 51%.

Speaker 9 You're going to have me related to the Pope soon enough.

Speaker 9 All right.

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Super Bowl, give it to us.

Speaker 9 It's the Buffalo Bills beating the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 9 Josh Allen will win the MVP.

Speaker 9 And what he should do when he wins the MVP in a Super Bowl is go stand on the 50-yard line and shoot birds to every person who ever doubted him because there were millions of them who mocked him and they made fun of him.

Speaker 9 They laughed at him. And that's what he should do and he will do.
He'll win the MVP.

Speaker 1 I like that. One thing, though.

Speaker 9 Just make sure that 13 seconds doesn't blow your chances this time around.

Speaker 1 That's too soon, Peter. Nice note, Pete.
That's too soon. Nice note.
I like that. You said that in a very Italian way.
That was a threatening way you said that.

Speaker 6 It'd be a real shame.

Speaker 6 It's a clock who's ticking down on you.

Speaker 1 All right, Pete. You're the best.
Yeah, no, you said it in a very Italian way. We feel threatened right now.

Speaker 9 Well, take it as you want.

Speaker 1 Pete, thank you. I know, people.
Yes, we know. We know.

Speaker 1 All right. Thank you, Pete.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Check out Pete.

Speaker 1 You probably, if you're listening right now, there's a 50% chance that you're blocked on Twitter by Pete. But if not, you should check him out.

Speaker 1 CBS, senior analyst, senior columnist, also an analyst on CBS HQ. Thank you, Pete.
We love you.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we are here in Stu Finer's basement. We come every summer.
We're a little late today. The pool was 89 degrees.
Yes. Disgusting.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, it was off-brand.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I apologize. Yeah.
No, I humbly apologize. Yeah, 88 is what we expect, and it didn't happen.
What are you going to say? Stu. Try and talk.
Talking to the mic.

Speaker 1 All right, so Stu, we are going to do NFL futures, win totals, anything you want.

Speaker 1 I honestly want you to just brain dump because you have all of them. I only have a couple bets, which we've talked about, but we can rehash them.
But I want to hear what you have to say.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm blind as the bats. I put on my

Speaker 1 glasses. All right, so this is what I have.
Let's just.

Speaker 1 First of all, why don't we do this? Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 Explain your system. um

Speaker 1 whoa well no explain his power ratings i want to know the stew finer power rating basically my power ratings is

Speaker 2 basically when i take a shit yep and if i wipe clean and my ass is not itchy then i go with just the eye test okay if my ass is itchy and i have to use dude wipes

Speaker 2 and i have to rub one out

Speaker 2 Then I go stats.

Speaker 1 What happened? I saw you on the Dave Porternoy show. You said that this is the year you're going to just be clean with everything.
You're not going to get gross.

Speaker 2 Believe nothing what you hear.

Speaker 1 I saw that.

Speaker 1 Listen, who's watching that show? To have you and Hannah and Tommy and Dave talk about football? No.

Speaker 2 They want to see me act like a fucking scumbag, an asshole, a psychophytic.

Speaker 1 I don't disagree.

Speaker 2 I want to go in the fucking gutter.

Speaker 1 You go in there and I look at it. How am I going to throw it off the show day one? I'm just asking you because you said it.
Okay. I said I

Speaker 1 go. Oh, well,

Speaker 1 you can't get kicked off. Thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 i mean you are the show you are the show and you also i mean you've done many things that anyone else would have been fired but you won't true all right back to your system yes give us the actual stufine or how did you come up with these numbers because you actually have i'm looking at your sheet you have records for everything

Speaker 2 truth be told um i'm into pro football like i've never been into it this year whoa i think there's such a disparity between great teams and horseshit teams oh so i think that 19 of the teams in the nfl blow dick They're fucking horrible.

Speaker 2 They have no shot of winning any games at all. Now, I'm not saying against the spread because you know me, I'm traditionally an underdog player and there's only value betting the underdogs.

Speaker 2 But I think the good teams are going to be phenomenal and the bad teams are going to be horrific.

Speaker 2 So I really wanted to look at the NFL, break it down, and I feel I have a good scope of what's going to go on. I think I'm going to win the Super Bowl.
I'm going to win the championships.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to fucking sweep.

Speaker 6 So the underdogs that you have, you talk about loving underdogs all the time. You always take underdogs.

Speaker 2 Because there's no value taking the favorite. The odds maker never needs to give you value on the favorite.

Speaker 2 So the only time you're ever going to get, not saying it's going to win, but the only time you're ever getting value is betting an underdog.

Speaker 6 So does that carry over to bad teams taking the overs on teams that have the low win total setup?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 6 Not at all. So because you think that the dog shit teams are actually worse than their bad teams.

Speaker 2 I've never seen so many bad teams. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So let's do this.
Yes. Give us the 19 dog shit teams.

Speaker 1 Could you have them in order from from from the whatever it would be the

Speaker 1 the 19 no okay so wait here here yeah we're gonna go

Speaker 2 we can do this okay i actually actually did the 13th worst i have the detroit lions going one and 15.

Speaker 1 i have the texans

Speaker 2 games now oh excuse no one in 16 excuse me i'm so sorry one in 16.

Speaker 1 who wait who are they i have wait the eagles who are they beating uh i don't know okay i don't know but you will know when the time comes i'm gonna be ruining against against them every fucking game for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 Because of Tom Kennedy. Absolutely.
I hate that. What if he's on the team?

Speaker 2 Oh, then it changes.

Speaker 2 Then they'll probably go 7-10.

Speaker 1 But he's not on the team right now, so fuck them when they break the scummy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's predicated on that. The score is 7.
Yes. It's predicated.
Yeah, it's predicated.

Speaker 2 All right. I got the Texans at 2 and 15.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I have the

Speaker 2 Bears at 4 and 13.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be a little bit better than that, but it's not far.

Speaker 2 I got the Giants at 4 and 13. Okay.
I got the Washington football team at 5 and 12. Well, that's good.

Speaker 6 What about the Commanders?

Speaker 1 And also. I still have them.
Yeah, 5 and 12.

Speaker 1 Don't get fresh with him.

Speaker 2 I have the Jets at 6 and 11.

Speaker 1 I have,

Speaker 2 let's see, after 6 and 11, then we move to.

Speaker 1 Do you you need help? You want me to hold it? I can start naming it.

Speaker 2 I got the Steelers 7 and 10. Okay.

Speaker 7 Cap.

Speaker 6 I'm with Hank on that one. I like their over.
I think they're set at 7.5 wins this year.

Speaker 2 I got the Saints at 8 and 9. That's wrong.

Speaker 1 I think the Saints might actually.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't hate. I'm going to look at the odds right now.
I wouldn't hate the Saints to win the NFL.

Speaker 2 And everyone else goes into the...

Speaker 1 So it wasn't even close to 19 teams.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, they suck.

Speaker 1 Well, you've given it to the Panthers.

Speaker 6 Do you like the Panthers?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I love the Panthers.

Speaker 1 I gave the Panthers.

Speaker 2 wait hold it wait a second i don't think you said the seahawks either the seahawks are gonna suck oh wait wait wait wait wait i might have missed them seahawks are dog shape hold it hold it hold it let me i'm sorry

Speaker 2 they'll be fun bad though because they have i have the seahawks at five and twelve excuse me okay i'm so sorry there's another bad team i'm so sorry wait now hold it wait what did you the panthers i have 10 and 7.

Speaker 2 Wow. I think they're going to be great.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 2 Well, 10 and 7 for the fucking Panthers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is great. That's great.
I mean, it is great.

Speaker 2 I mean, they're winning every game going into the fourth quarter, and then they self-destruct. You know, McCafferty is, I have an injury, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Say his name again?

Speaker 2 McCafferty.

Speaker 1 Chubba. Chubba.

Speaker 1 McCafferty. All right, so wait, McCaffrey, whatever it is.

Speaker 2 All right. So now, so let, all right, AFC.
I got Bills at 13 and 4. I got the Dolphins at 11 and 6.
I think they're going to be amazing. They'll make a wild card.
Patriots 10-7.

Speaker 2 They're not making the playoffs.

Speaker 2 AFC North.

Speaker 6 Wait, wait, what if they pick up Tim Kennedy?

Speaker 2 Everything changes predicated on Tom Kennedy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 If they get Tom Kennedy, they win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, Patriots win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 By the way, the Saints are plus 325 to win the NFC South. I don't hate that.
Also, by the way, you're going to want to watch this on YouTube just so you can see the system that Stew is doing.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, you know what?

Speaker 2 It's going to be a horrific.

Speaker 1 Go through each division. That's probably a better way to do it.
The Saints are going to be a horrific. Okay, so again.
I apologize.

Speaker 2 All right, no problem. AFC East, we got Bills 13 and 4.
We did this.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So, all right.

Speaker 2 Well, let me just do it. You're not going to have the Jets yet.
AFC East, Bills 13 and 4 win the division and represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Patriots 10-7 missed playoffs. Dolphins 11-6.
Wildcard. Jets 6-11.
Okay. AFC North, Ravens, 12-5, win the division.
Whoa. Bengals, 11-6, Wildcard.
Browns, 9-8. And Steelers, 7-10.
Okay.

Speaker 1 AFC South.

Speaker 2 Colts, 12-5, win the division. And that's the only wildcard team in the AFC South.
Titans, 11-6, missed playoffs because the tiebreakers.

Speaker 1 Texans will be 2-16. 2-15.

Speaker 2 And Jaguars 5-12.

Speaker 1 So wait, wait.

Speaker 6 Walk me through your Titans logic there because they were the one seed last year. You're not a believer in Ryan Tannehill then.

Speaker 1 No, he's doing it. No, A.J.
Brown. I agree.
Having got better on the offense.

Speaker 2 He might be the most overrated quarterback in the field.

Speaker 1 Thanks for at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 He's fucking horrible.

Speaker 6 I've been saying for years that Ryan Tannehill is a bad barrel ball. And even when he was good, I knew he was secretly bad.

Speaker 1 Here's the only thing with the Titans, though. Mike Vrabel.

Speaker 1 Like, every time you think the Titans are going to have a bad year, it's Mike Vrabel's team, and he somehow gets them to win these games that you don't expect.

Speaker 2 I respect him. I love him.
They're going to suck. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.

Speaker 2 AFC.

Speaker 1 AFC. 11-6 loses out to the playoffs and tiebreakers.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, a lot of people think they can win the Super Bowl because they can't.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.

Speaker 2 I'll give you this after it's over. Let me just roll through this.
All right. So I didn't waste my time.

Speaker 2 Chargers 12 and five

Speaker 2 and win the division. Broncos 11-6, and they're the wild card.
Raiders 11-6, but lose the tiebreaker. And Chiefs 10-7 do not make the playoffs.
Okay, so fuck the Chiefs.

Speaker 2 They're the most overrated teams ever. They suck that.
Wait, I got limited.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see the AFC real quick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right. Okay, I'm just looking at this.
I'm just trying to conceptualize everything. Okay, got it.
All right. Yeah, yeah, okay.
So the Chiefs are missing the playoffs.

Speaker 2 Missing the playoffs.

Speaker 1 I actually don't hate your AFC West. We were talking about it in the car today.
Like, everyone's talking about the AFC West being incredible because the quarterbacks are obviously incredible. Right.

Speaker 1 But there's a chance if every team just beats each other up, they can cancel each other. Like,

Speaker 1 no team will be, you know, the one seed.

Speaker 2 I don't think they're going to lose many games outside their division.

Speaker 1 Right, but if they, you know, if they all go three and three in the division, right? Well, I think it'll be hard for them to get a bunch of people.

Speaker 2 I think that's 80% of their losses will be within the division. Okay.
NFC East, I got the Eagles winning the division 12-5.

Speaker 2 Cowboys, 11-6, getting the wild card.

Speaker 6 I like that with the Eagles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Eagles. So the Eagles are my Super Bowl pick.

Speaker 2 Listen,

Speaker 2 after everybody destroyed their coach for just laying it out and being very simplistic like a child,

Speaker 1 he's great.

Speaker 2 He had them ready, and I think they did a fabulous job.

Speaker 6 I think Siriani, I'm betting on him to win Coach of the Year this year.

Speaker 2 Listen, he was great. I mean, people pissed on him, like, this guy's a joke.
This guy should be a pop one at quarterback. I mean, head coach.
And all he did was have them.

Speaker 2 And listen, first half of the game, they were in the game against Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I mean, they were.
They were there until the second half. They didn't cover.

Speaker 1 I got a bad number on the Eagles because I think they were higher earlier in the uh offseason but i have them 22 to 1 to win the super bowl they could win the super bowl i don't think they will but they could they absolutely could be your pinky team what they're gonna end up being a pinky team well i mean i would win like two hundred thousand dollars if they won the super bowl so maybe it's worth it to cut your finger off two hundred thousand no it's not worth it the tip it's tip no no no no that would have to be five million you're worth twenty million now you're worth

Speaker 2 why not tip why not the tip because money doesn't matter right now okay no way. Not in no lifetime.

Speaker 1 Five million. The pinky team would have to start 0-2 or 0-3, I think, is what we always decide.

Speaker 2 How about shave your eyebrows, shave your hair? No, it's the pinky. Have some

Speaker 2 pinky bet.

Speaker 1 Stu?

Speaker 2 That's rough. That's really rough.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. It's bad when Stu is the voice of reason why.

Speaker 2 All right, Washington 5-12. Giants, 4-13.
Okay, NFC North, Vikings winning the division.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 2 12-5.

Speaker 2 Packers, 11-6, getting the Wild Card Bears 4-13. Lions, fuck you when you die.
1-15. I hope you're fucking scumbags.

Speaker 2 I mean, 1-16, correct. I put 1-15 on the Sheepers, 1-16.

Speaker 2 NFC South, Buccaneers, 11-6.

Speaker 2 Only team to make the playoffs and the winter division. Satan, 9.
Falcons, 5-12. Panthers, 10-7.

Speaker 2 NFC West, Rams, which is my Super Bowl pick, to go back to back and to win. They have the best team.
They have the best quarterback.

Speaker 2 If you remember, I said, like two years ago, I said that their quarterback was the best quarterback ever, and he's just on a shit team.

Speaker 1 And you pissed on me. No, I didn't because I actually have had the long-standing

Speaker 1 take that Matthew Saffron's

Speaker 2 family. No, no, he is a Hall of Family.

Speaker 1 He's amazing. You're barking up the wrong thing right now.
Maybe Dave's family.

Speaker 2 I make him the best quarterback in the NFL right now. People look at me like, I'm crazy.
I'm not crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm not. He's the best.
All right. This is like when Mike Francesa just reads off random numbers.
All right, good.

Speaker 1 Good.

Speaker 2 Rams 14 and 3.

Speaker 2 Cardinals, 12 and 5. Make the wild card.
49 is 9 and 8. Seahawks, 5 and 12.
So that's my. That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 This is my list. These are great numbers.

Speaker 2 That's my list in a nutshell.

Speaker 6 So I'm going to just do some quick math here. Yes.
So you've got 282 wins on the board on your schedule. So divided by 32 teams.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Let's hope that your math. Oh, I don't know if my math works out.

Speaker 2 I got 550 math in the SATs.

Speaker 2 I didn't get 800.

Speaker 6 You've got every team winning an average of nine games. I don't know if that's possible.

Speaker 2 Yeah. 17 games.
How many losses?

Speaker 1 It just has to be equal losses.

Speaker 6 Everyone's nine and seven.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, but you added up all the wins.

Speaker 2 How many's nine and eight, you mean? Everyone's nine and eight.

Speaker 6 I didn't add up all the losses.

Speaker 1 I just added the wins. Add up all the losses.

Speaker 6 Wait, how much did I say?

Speaker 1 What did he say? And line?

Speaker 6 282? 282? Okay, one second.

Speaker 1 All right, so Stu, while he adds up all the losses,

Speaker 1 give us your best bets, win totals, or Super Bowl or division winners, whatever your best bets are.

Speaker 2 I mean, Rams over 10 and a half should be the biggest bet anyone's ever made in their life responsibly. Okay.

Speaker 2 Everything is responsible because gambling is for the rich to have fun and lose money. That's the preface.
But over 10 and a half on the Rams is stealing money, stealing cash.

Speaker 2 I mean, why even talk about it? It's like stealing fucking money. Okay.
That's my number one play. You could take that to the bank.

Speaker 1 Let's see the the biggest now do you when you do those? Yes. Do you look at their schedule? Of course.
I went through the whole schedule. So who are they playing?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't, I need the schedule. They're playing AFC West.

Speaker 1 That's pretty tough.

Speaker 2 Well, listen, they might not lose to anyone. Okay.
They're that good. Bobby Wagner is going to make 50 tackles a game.

Speaker 2 I mean, he's going to really plug the middle because if you remember correctly, the only time they lost is when you were able to run right up the middle. Their linebackers sucked last year.
Now

Speaker 2 you're going to have pressure on the quarterback. And now you have a swagger on the Rams where they're coming back as the Super Bowl champs.
And I just think they're going to torch people.

Speaker 6 Okay. All right.
So, Jake, how many wins did I have?

Speaker 6 282. So, Stu's got the league going 282 and 256.
Great year for the league. Awesome.

Speaker 1 Great year for the league. Take me over for the league.
Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, and then that's the disparity that the good teams are going to be great, and everyone else is going to suck.

Speaker 1 Right, but you have a lot of people. You know that actually can't happen.

Speaker 2 Of course it can't happen.

Speaker 1 He's proving my point.

Speaker 1 I'm proving my point.

Speaker 6 Stu is a a football fan. He's like, I think that there's just so much, there's so much winning out there.

Speaker 2 I think the Cardinals to go over eight and a half is stealing money. I have no idea how it's eight and a half.
They're a great team. They have a great organization.

Speaker 2 I don't know why people piss on them.

Speaker 2 It's a steal. It's stealing money to go eight and a half.

Speaker 1 They might have eight wins by the end of October and then just not win again.

Speaker 2 Well, that's what they did last year, but I don't think that's going to happen this year. I really don't.
I really, really, really, really don't.

Speaker 2 Under six and a half for the Lions is stealing money. They're going to win one game.
Okay. I mean, they're going to be so bad that they might be thrown out of the league.
It's stealing money.

Speaker 2 I would go under, under, under, under, under.

Speaker 2 Let's see what else is.

Speaker 6 You had the Browns pretty high, didn't you? You had the Browns winning eight games or nine games.

Speaker 1 Let's see. He's locked in.
Yes. Yes.
He's locked in on the game. Nigga, nine games.
This is like

Speaker 1 no edge there. This is like

Speaker 1 nine.

Speaker 2 Love Vikings over nine. Love them.
Love. I think Vikings are going to be phenomenal.
I actually agree with you there. I think

Speaker 2 they're going to stun the world.

Speaker 1 I think the Vikings will have, like, just not having Mike Zimmer be their coach, and he was a good coach, but he obviously, like, when you get to the point where you just tap out with the, with, like, the talent you have on the team, and they're not really playing for you.

Speaker 1 I mean, not playing for you, but, like, there was nothing new about the Vikings for the last few years. Correct.

Speaker 1 Kevin O'Connell, I think the Vikings will be dark horse to win the NFC North, or I guess that wouldn't be a dark horse, but I think they're going to win the NFC North.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to make it to the championship someday.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 1 Against the Eagles, the Eagles are going to fucking demolish them.

Speaker 2 You don't have the Rams there.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 2 Reason being.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just bet the Eagles because they had a good draft.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 I like over nine and a half for the Eagles, over nine and a half for the Ravens. I think those are also very, very rocky.

Speaker 6 Nine and a half feels kind of low for the Ravens, doesn't it?

Speaker 2 Listen, I mean...

Speaker 1 I like that too. They were so injured.

Speaker 1 I mean, last year, first half of the year, they were in suit, but it didn't happen again.

Speaker 6 And they've got... I actually think Justin Tucker is worth about three wins per year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right. He never misses.
From 70, he can hit.

Speaker 1 All right. So, Stu, give us

Speaker 1 your other tips about the NFL season.

Speaker 2 The source.

Speaker 1 You're going to go what? I'm going to go 60% this year.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go 61%. Okay.

Speaker 2 And we hope Dave can hit over 30. Yep.
But I say he's probably going to have the worst year of his career. Okay.
I think that he's going to be so embarrassing. He's going to not even show.

Speaker 2 Like, you know how he doesn't show up to the office ever. And I don't think he's going to show up to sports advisors.
I think Jerry's going to do

Speaker 2 my over-under is Dave misses five shows because of humiliation and embarrassment. He's not going to deal with it.
He's going to be like, hey, I'm worth 500 million.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to embarrass myself on a show. Jerry, take it over.
Jerry, shit on the fucking shit while you're eating there. Yeah.
You know, just do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 So, um, what about the difference between week one and week two?

Speaker 6 Is there any value to be found in overreactions to how a team plays in week one where you can capitalize on that week two?

Speaker 2 This is what of sports advisors. How many many years? Year five?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 So the first two years,

Speaker 2 I said, go slow in September, where Dave and Dan said, you're a pussy. We fire.

Speaker 2 And they did phenomenal. Facts.
The first two years.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So what I did is I fired.

Speaker 2 Now I fire year three and year four. Week one, I went five and oh.
If you remember, I swept the board last year. You don't remember, but I did.
I did.

Speaker 2 I absolutely did, including going eight and one in the playoffs to close the show out. So I had a good winning record on the show.
I went 5-0 in the playoffs that first wildcard round.

Speaker 2 Then I went 2-1 and 1-0. But

Speaker 2 answer your question without just tooting my own horn, which I just fucking did because you heard I did. And I'm going to do it again.
But I'm firing as hard as I can right out of the box.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Because I'm looking to build a bankroll immediately. So forget about the slow and steady.
Now, obviously, guys, responsibly. Gals, responsibly.
Gamblers, responsibly.

Speaker 2 You want to post up as much money as you can at Penn Entertainment responsibly. Got it.
Got it.

Speaker 6 No, but what i'm asking though what is let's just say hypothetically week one to week two hypothetically in in reality you got to be careful because you have no idea what's going to go on week one you really don't you really absolutely i mean like let's just say week one yes uh browns panthers are playing right let's say the

Speaker 6 Panthers win.

Speaker 6 They're going to be underdogs probably, right? I would assume.

Speaker 6 But they cover the spread. They win even.
They win outright by call it 10 points. Do you think there's any value in the second week to then fading what happened in that first week?

Speaker 6 So you bet heavier on the Browns the second week because they're going to be undervalued after losing in week one.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 they don't make that much of a difference from week to week, from week one to week two.

Speaker 2 Now, if some team sweeps week one, two, three, four, and then they have a big matchup in week five, they're going to be overvalued. I'll take against them.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 But not from week one to week two. There's no like overreaction because people will go, oh, it's only one week.
Gotcha. And then even if they get hot, they'll be like, it's only two weeks.

Speaker 2 And even if they suck, they'll go, they got to get it together. New coach, new program, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 6 All right, so Coach of the Year, who do you got?

Speaker 6 Good question. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at Stu's text messages because I'm trying to find the famous text message when he said, if I give you one gift for the rest of your life, Coach of the Rams, Coach of the Commission.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 6 Why would you say the Bills are the Rams? That's going to be very tough for them to win Coach of the Year. Well, because the Rams just won the Super Bowl, and usually Coach of the Year is their

Speaker 1 coaches that improve a lot.

Speaker 2 I mean, they only have them at 10 and a half wins, though.

Speaker 2 So, I mean,

Speaker 2 they only have them.

Speaker 6 Coach of the year against the over-under, that would go to the Rams.

Speaker 2 I would say it's either the Rams or Bills. I mean, look, if the Bills sweep and get to the Super Bowl, they're going to win.
He's going to win Coach of the Year. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there's no two ways about it.

Speaker 2 I mean, the fucking team hasn't been there.

Speaker 1 And the narrative's already built in.

Speaker 2 And they should have beat the Chiefs last year.

Speaker 1 That was one of the most epic fails ever.

Speaker 2 I mean, for, you know, for them, 30 seconds. I mean, that was horrific.

Speaker 1 I mean, they had that game won.

Speaker 6 chiefs didn't win bills lost the game what about the bangles we were talking about the bengals earlier today i want the bengals to be good but you know something joe burrow there's a lot there's a lot of uh bangles trash in my head from i don't know 37 years of watching the cincinnati bangles that tells me like uh-oh why are you betting on the bangles well joe burrow is great i mean so throw all the bengals bad should i throw all the bangles out every

Speaker 2 day he's that great he he was great on lsu against the number he was great last year against the number they didn't win the super bowl but they did cover they covered every fucking week almost i mean he's phenomenal.

Speaker 2 He's healthy. He's great.
He's great. He's great.

Speaker 2 I just think that I don't know if they really showed up their offensive line, and I just don't know if he's going to be able to just sustain getting annihilated again. What did he get sacked?

Speaker 2 52 times? I mean, he personally was responsible for taking them to the Super Bowl and with no offensive line. I've never seen it before.
He had no offensive line.

Speaker 2 Now, their defensive line was very underrated. They put heavy pressure on the quarterback, which almost compensated.
But

Speaker 2 I think Joe Burrow is arguably the second-best quarterback in football.

Speaker 1 All he does is cover.

Speaker 2 You know, not only does he win, he covers. You know, I mean, he's great.
He's fearless. He's ice in his veins.

Speaker 1 So I was trying to look up the text message that you sent

Speaker 1 when the Saints beat the Bucks 38 to 3 and you gave me the Bucks. You said, if there's any gift I can give you for the rest of your life

Speaker 1 on my deathbed, it's the Bucks tonight minus three. And then they lost 38-3.
Correct.

Speaker 1 I couldn't find that text message, but I did find a text message from Thursday, October 21st that just says, all caps, Alec Baldwin. Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 I like that. Yeah.
And then I said, what happened? And you just said, I'm bringing in a prop gun next to Advisors.

Speaker 1 So that's Super Finer. That's Super Finer.
I love, listen, did you see the interview on 2020 with Alec Baldwin?

Speaker 1 I didn't pull the trigger. No, you did pull the trigger.
You killed someone, whether you did or not. I didn't pull the trigger.
The gun just went off. Alec, come on.

Speaker 1 Come on, buddy.

Speaker 2 I know he's from Massapequa, and Billy Baldwin was in the sports advisor's business. This is his brother, did you know?

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yeah, in the 80s, he was in the business.

Speaker 2 He was a handicap.

Speaker 2 He wasn't a handicap. He was a salesman.

Speaker 1 Ah, yeah. All right.
So my last question, rollback question. Promo code take.
You get Q-zips, hoodies, everything. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code take.

Speaker 1 What is the greatest bet you've ever made?

Speaker 1 What's the one that you think about? You're like, damn, that was awesome.

Speaker 2 The first year the Dallas Cowboys won the Super Bowl when they crushed Buffalo 52-10, and it was at the Rose Bowl. They beat the San Francisco 49ers, and they were plus three and a half in Frisco.

Speaker 2 And everyone's like, Joe Montana, this, Joe Montana, that. Are you kidding me? And the 49ers were legendary.
They were like epic. They were like betting against Michael Jordan.

Speaker 2 Can't happen, won't happen. And Troy Aikman went in there, and Jimmy Johnson went in, and they fucking won.
And they pissed on them.

Speaker 1 Did you have money line or three and a half?

Speaker 2 I had the Cowboys that year to win the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 I did not have them in that game.

Speaker 2 But the game meant a quarter of a million dollars after it won in business for my company. So in those days, I had between $40,000 to $200,000 per winning decision on the big game.

Speaker 2 So that's why I normally don't bet. I don't need to bet.
When people say you don't bet, well, if I win a big game, if I win the Super Bowl, I make a quarter of a million in business.

Speaker 2 That's the same as betting, isn't it?

Speaker 6 You make money for your customers.

Speaker 2 But my single best bet would be Bill Parcells when he took over the Giants and he beat Tom Confluent and the Jaguars at home.

Speaker 2 I had 100,000 bet on the game and I had 100,000 at 16 to 1 for the Jets to win the Super Bowl. And as a degenerate gambler, which I am, no issue about it.
I'm a degenerate. I have no control.

Speaker 2 The next week, they played the Denver Broncos, and all I had to do was bet $400,000 on Denver. And all the offshore sports books at the time, I was advertising them.

Speaker 2 They would allow me to bet unlimited money, like literally unlimited money, because I was advertising them in my schedule.

Speaker 2 That I sent 200,000 schedules out to everyone, and I was the reason that they were successful.

Speaker 2 They were saying, they said to me, Stu, don't you want to hedge this? Because they were afraid the Jets were going to win.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 So they wanted me to hedge because they were exposed to the job.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Jets.

Speaker 1 No, wait.

Speaker 2 They, yeah, the Jets, the Jets.

Speaker 1 Oh, that Bill Parcel.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Bill Parcels when he was the coach of the Jets.
Yeah. When he was, you know, with Curtis Martin and Vinny Testaverdi, that team.

Speaker 2 And then the following week, they went to Denver, opened up a 3-0. Then it was 10-dophing.

Speaker 1 I'm like, this is amazing.

Speaker 2 And then John Elway fucking threw a bomb to McCafferty on a third and 20 for 57 yards touchdown. They scored 28 on ends.
That was my best bet of my life. That I bet.

Speaker 2 Winning the Jets over the Jaguars, rolling into Denver, saying I could make a million, 1.6. And this is the 90s where it was real money.
You know,

Speaker 2 now it's not. You got billionaires.
You got trillionaires.

Speaker 1 Then, you know, you make a million dollars. That's, you know, more than Farmingdale made, the whole town.
So, yeah, so that would be it.

Speaker 2 But my most impressive win ever was

Speaker 2 slitting the 49th throw.

Speaker 6 Okay. Yeah.
What about the worst bet you've ever made?

Speaker 1 We'll end with this.

Speaker 2 It wasn't a lot of money, but it was the worst bet I ever made. My first Super Bowl.
I've been to 17 in person, my first Super Bowl

Speaker 2 in New Orleans.

Speaker 1 I took the Patriots pairs.

Speaker 2 The Patriots plus 13 and a half.

Speaker 1 And And the Patriots that year. Oh, you saw 13 and a half.
You're like, Super Bowls.

Speaker 2 They covered. Listen, I used the Bears nine straight weeks in a row.
And the only, and I used them against, I used them, I used Miami. I caught Miami over Chicago.
It was a Monday night.

Speaker 2 And then I won every game going down the stretch. And I think there was two weeks between the Super Bowl that year.
And I just kept looking at the Patriots going, they covered 13 in a row.

Speaker 2 They covered their destiny, destiny, destiny. And I bet the Patriots only for 5,000.

Speaker 2 And it was, it was the single lowest moment of my life. I'm sitting there like, I took my Bears shirt off at halftime and I bought a Patriots shirt like a fraud.

Speaker 2 And I just sat there and they were singing the shuffling crew at half. And there was, I'm telling you, if there was 100,000 people at that game, 99,000 were for the Bears.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm the only idiot who had the Patriots, you know, besides people in New England that, you know, it was horrific. It was so low.

Speaker 1 But listen, the memorable losses are memorable losses. Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, no two ways about it.
Yeah. I mean, I would say the second most, because I had so much money, I probably almost had 300,000 in gross businesses if I won, is when

Speaker 2 Russell Wilson threw the interception.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 man. That was just like, I mean, I still to this day,

Speaker 2 I just don't understand what went down.

Speaker 6 You thought it was a win.

Speaker 1 It was basically a win.

Speaker 1 And people don't talk about the catches on that drive because that drive that that guy going down the field was a curse.

Speaker 1 Incredible.

Speaker 1 You saw Brady.

Speaker 2 After that catch, Brady looked down and just was like, I can't believe this happened to me again.

Speaker 2 I can't believe this happened to me again. But that was.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was.

Speaker 2 Can you still believe that? No, no.

Speaker 7 I mean, every time I see the highlight, it's just pure bliss, pure joy.

Speaker 2 I mean, you went to the side.

Speaker 1 It was literally quite literally the greatest sign of my life. Hell to heaven.

Speaker 2 It's like the quick, like, there's no way. You just quickly.

Speaker 2 You had your bags leaving the stadium, right? You were leaving, right? It was like, I can't believe we're going to get screwed again at the end. It was, oh,

Speaker 7 I picked top three nights of my life. That's probably number one.

Speaker 6 Let's do. What's the worst beat that you've ever had? One that was in the bag, and then all of a sudden it turns.

Speaker 1 Probably that one.

Speaker 2 It's probably Matt Ryan.

Speaker 2 He threw so many interception touchdowns. I mean, interception going the other way, pick sixes at the end of games.
For some reason, I bet on the Falcons a lot, and they beat me a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Pick sixes.
I got a problem, too.

Speaker 1 But you like Matt Ryan now.

Speaker 6 You like the Colts, right? You said you had the Colts win the division.

Speaker 2 I love Matt Ryan. I think he's a phenomenal quarterback.
But just for some reason, the Falcons just never can put it together, really defensively, on the defensive.

Speaker 2 So he was always pressured that he always had to come from behind.

Speaker 2 And he would, listen, inside the 20s, he might be the best quarterback in the the history of the nfl just for some reason when he gets into you know inside that 10 he just

Speaker 1 he just he is he's a pathetic red zone offense quarterback um all right so stu the source yes sir thank you for being the host it's an honor as always thanks for coming barcel sports advisors so we're gonna run this next week so barcel sports advisors will be back on friday night as i'm saying this very nice when does this podcast drop wednesday

Speaker 2 Be two days before Skype. Two days before Sports Advisor.

Speaker 1 All right, perfect.

Speaker 2 Because I'm back in action with the podcast. I'm coming back with my podcast.
Oh, open it.

Speaker 1 Yes. Plug it.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have the podcast. What's it called?

Speaker 2 I might change the name of it. So right now, tentatively, I don't know the name that I'm going to launch, but I'm going to launch.
So if you're launching Wednesday, I'll launch Wednesday morning.

Speaker 1 What are you thinking?

Speaker 2 Only Stew. Okay.
Only Stew in the Gutter.

Speaker 2 If I fucked your girl, she'd know what she's been missing. So it's one of those.
Okay, what about

Speaker 1 the last one?

Speaker 6 Only Fines.

Speaker 1 Only Finds. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I like that too.

Speaker 2 I like that. But the podcast will be, if you're launching Wednesday night, I'm going to launch my podcast Wednesday morning.
Perfect. Okay.
Come back in action.

Speaker 1 We launched Wednesday morning. But yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, so I'll launch Tuesday night.

Speaker 1 We're kind of late Tuesday night.

Speaker 2 All right, so I'll go Tuesday morning.

Speaker 6 Stu, before we go.

Speaker 1 Well, no, actually, that week we will have a show Tuesdays. Well, you know what? I'll do it.

Speaker 1 I might launch tonight. I might not have podcasts of Starbucks French Frost.

Speaker 2 I feel like, you know, I snort in April. Stu, before we go.

Speaker 13 Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 Go to belikestu.com for my shout-outs, but coming out on Wednesday. Shout out Stu finding belikestu.com.

Speaker 1 Stu.com.

Speaker 1 No, just

Speaker 1 everyone got a chance. He invented cameo.

Speaker 1 You don't do cameos. You do shout-outs.
I mean, be like Stu.com.

Speaker 2 I don't even know what you're saying right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 There's only Stu Fine's shout-outs.

Speaker 2 Stu finders shout-outs.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. All right.

Speaker 6 One last, last thing because it's coming out Wednesday.

Speaker 1 Yes. Tomorrow night.
Did you say caramels? I love caramels.

Speaker 6 Tomorrow night, we've got NFL season kicking off. Bills, Rams, Buffalo minus two and a half.
That's the spread. Over, under 52.
I've been saying the over since they announced the game.

Speaker 1 You're a scumbag if you don't bet this over.

Speaker 6 You have to bet the over. I've been saying ever since they said this is the opening night, I said I'm taking the over no matter what.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait. So this is the Thursday night game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Thursday night kickoff. The Bills are home.
No, no, Rams are home. The Rams are home.

Speaker 6 You love the Rams.

Speaker 1 You love the Bills, too.

Speaker 1 Wait, this is Duke. This is your Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 6 It's going to be the first game and the last game this year.

Speaker 1 The Rams are home. And what's the line? They are.
Buffalo is two and a half.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Buffalo is favored minus two and a half.
Right. The over-under is set at 52.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Very exciting.

Speaker 6 So what do you have?

Speaker 1 Well, you got to go to StuFunner.com.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 that away. I mean, I have no idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Stupid.com.

Speaker 2 And just so you know, the reason is, the reason is, like, obviously, you guys are given picks for free, and people bet your opinion heavy. You know that.

Speaker 1 And they shouldn't.

Speaker 6 You're well-respected.

Speaker 2 You're well-versed. You're well-loved.

Speaker 2 But they're not paying you.

Speaker 2 People who pay me and then and I release a game and then all of a sudden there's a key injury or something they hate me the hate is great they're like stupid

Speaker 2 i don't need to pay you and you don't know what's going on so that's why i don't ever want to look like a fraud i don't want to ever look like i'm you know giving information just throwing a dart i you know so i would have to wait until the latest up-to-date information because it's going to be probably a 30 to 50 thousand dollar decision if i win that game okay so just just look at me you don't have to say anything yes I'm going to bet the over.

Speaker 6 Right. Is that a good idea?

Speaker 6 You don't have to say anything.

Speaker 2 You can just use your head i don't know yeah he's not going to give it i know but i'm not going to no no because because i actually have no idea right i really have i have no idea i gotta i gotta wait for the late line moves yeah i gotta wait for the biggest syndicates in the world that move hundreds of millions of dollars late on the game and my premise is that the strongest syndicates in the world are smarter than everyone else so i would like to tell them the over on this game okay

Speaker 2 well you're locking in already you like the over i locking in because you enjoy the over yeah and listen Listen, when you bet the under, there's no joy

Speaker 2 in Joyville. You know what I'm saying? There's no, you, you literally, anytime I bet an under on a baseball, football bat, it's a nightmare.

Speaker 2 There's no fun in gambling when you do that. At least when you bet the over, it's fun because you could always win.
Last minute, you could always win overtime, anything, whatever it is.

Speaker 6 In London, in the London games, we always take the Lunder. That's just a policy that we have.
I like it. The grass is thicker and softer.
I like it.

Speaker 1 All right, Stu, you're the best. I love you.

Speaker 2 We love you. Thank you so much.
Very grateful. Never take it for granted of your hospitality.
It means the world.

Speaker 1 Thank you. No, I love you guys.
I love you. You're the best.
Thank you, Stu.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Even though the pool was hot. Okay, it was 80 now.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish Apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, let's wrap up the show with Guys on Chicks, the return, because Mount Rushmore season is officially over.

Speaker 1 Guys on Chicks, and then, of course, we will be taping after Thursday night football

Speaker 1 on for Friday's show. Very excited.
Football's all the way back.

Speaker 6 Huge back. It's big time back.
So excited.

Speaker 1 Okay, guys on Chicks. Hank.
Yo.

Speaker 7 Hey, Big Cat, PFT, Billy, Jake, and Franny. My boyfriend is 24 and balding, but he refuses to do anything about it.
He says it's because I am so tall that nobody will see it.

Speaker 7 He is 6'6, but he acts like I'll never see the top of his head. I hate bald guys.

Speaker 7 How do I convince him to treat it before it's too late?

Speaker 1 It sounds like it might already be too late.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 it's a good spin zone he has, though.

Speaker 7 Buy him some plugs.

Speaker 6 If you're 6'6, yeah, I mean, we've said it on the show: become a wig guy.

Speaker 1 The Toupe would be great.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's,

Speaker 1 I don't know. The 6'6 thing, I kind of side with him.
Yeah. Like, if you're that tall, no one's going to really see the top of your head.

Speaker 1 I think it's more of a, is he like Larry David bald going balding?

Speaker 6 Larry David's really the last person that went bald that just said, fuck it, I'm just going to do the male pattern baldness

Speaker 6 and just own that for the rest of my life. Right.
It would look weird. Imagine how weird Larry David would look if he shaved his head one day.

Speaker 1 Or if he had full hair. That's true.
That would be weird as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think he's right. 6'6 and just wear a hat.
Get a lot of cool hats. Also, what the fuck? This woman is like, I don't like bald people.

Speaker 1 One of us in this room is definitely going to go bald.

Speaker 6 I'm definitely going to go bald.

Speaker 1 You are? Yeah. I don't know.
People always say, like, oh, your hairline's receding, but my grandfather on my mom's side died with a full head of hair. I'm hoping, knock on wood.

Speaker 7 I might go bald.

Speaker 1 You might go bald?

Speaker 7 I don't know. I wear a hat all the time.
My hair recedes a little bit.

Speaker 1 What about your mom's father? I don't know. Never knew him.

Speaker 6 God damn it.

Speaker 1 It'd be funny if we all went bald. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, I saw the picture of the elevator afterwards. He was

Speaker 6 no hair. Pretty bald.
There's not a lot of hair. Maybe the elevator just knocked it off.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. A bald part of my take would be very funny.

Speaker 7 If you meet a guy that's your age and no red flags, 10 out of 10, but he has a kid, what would you do? I'm 24, by the way.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 6 Oh, if I did, or if, like, as a female.

Speaker 6 Yes, guy's on check. As a female.

Speaker 1 Make a great mom. That's what I would say.

Speaker 1 I think you have to listen to your body. 24 is early.
24 is definitely early.

Speaker 6 If you start spontaneously lactating when you meet a guy with a kid, then I think you're now that kid's mom. If he's perfect, come on.

Speaker 1 If he's perfect, maybe the kid's cool. You got to get the kid's vibes.
You got to hang out with the kids, see if the kid's got cool vibes. If the kid sucks, then forget it.

Speaker 7 Right? What if the kid's like seven?

Speaker 1 You'll know the vibes right away.

Speaker 6 I think most seven-year-olds have bad vibes.

Speaker 1 No, you see, what are you some cool seven-year-olds?

Speaker 6 What do you think the worst age for vibes is?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's got to be like between 10 and 13. Yeah, it's got to be the puberty.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's like 13 terrible vibes.

Speaker 1 12 to 14-ish, like

Speaker 1 right around that where they're like, what's going on with my body? Yeah, that's bad vibes. What are you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 6 Check the Carfax with the baby mama. Try to maybe see if that's a situation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's actually a big situation. That's a good point, Billy.
Like, you don't. That could, you know, it's kind of like

Speaker 1 you don't want to

Speaker 1 bother a bird's nest when there's babies there. Like, if you start getting involved, are you going to get attacked?

Speaker 6 But at the same time, a good indication of whether or not a guy is a good person to see is like how he treats his mom.

Speaker 6 Maybe it's the same way. Like if he treats his baby mom with enough respect, but not too much respect, there's just like that Goldilocks zone right there.

Speaker 6 They can't be too close, but they have to be on good terms. Yes.

Speaker 6 Or you can just steal his kid, and then he's locked up.

Speaker 6 He has to date you at that point.

Speaker 7 Hello, Big Cat, PFT, Jake, Liam, Memes, and boss man Hank. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years.

Speaker 7 Every time he comes over to my parents' house, he has to play NCAA Football 13 on the Xbox they keep in the basement. The thing is, he doesn't just play one game, he plays for four hours every day.

Speaker 7 He is so set on winning the championship in Heisman, he barely talks to anyone. I've even tried playing it with him, and one time I even won.

Speaker 7 How do I get him to stop playing for the majority of our trip there? Thanks.

Speaker 1 All right. I mean, this all comes down to whether whose Xbox is it?

Speaker 7 It's her parents. They keep it in the basement.

Speaker 1 Right. I think, like, then that's cool because the dad obviously plays, right?

Speaker 1 Or it was like

Speaker 1 a brother or something they have a set up.

Speaker 7 They just don't.

Speaker 6 It's like the best sports game of all time.

Speaker 6 Really, the only way to get around this is to buy him his own copy and keep at your house. Correct.
That he can play whenever.

Speaker 6 And just know that for the first three, four weeks of having that in your house, he's going to ignore you completely and he's just going to play that game.

Speaker 6 But then it doesn't become as special of a thing when he goes to visit your parents. So he won't want to do it the the entire time that he's there.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 6 That's the only way. You just got to beat it out of him.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Also, if you really want to beat it out of him, just like constantly tell him that he's rigging the sliders and you don't believe him even when he shows it and just make him not want to play anymore.

Speaker 1 Sound.

Speaker 7 This one, it says, I don't know where the first text is, but it says, update, child still not here. So appears high likelihood that we will be delivering this weekend.

Speaker 7 After Florida's big win, he's also nervous about missing Florida vs. Kentucky.
What's the proper protocol for watching football during labor?

Speaker 7 I vote no because I'll be busy, and he says we will just be sitting around.

Speaker 6 I think it's pretty much whatever you want it to be, but just know that he's going to cheat and absolutely look on his phone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I watched WNBA.

Speaker 7 I lost. Can't miss that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I mean, Glenny gave me some picks, and I lost.
I think I went 0-2, maybe 0-4 on the day my son was born. It was like the WNBA, like, day games that they play for the camps.

Speaker 1 So there's usually

Speaker 1 no, there's not. The delivery rooms, I don't think, have, I think they have TVs.
So I think he'll be okay.

Speaker 1 He can just look in the corner and just kind of be there. And, you know, that is a big game.
Kentucky, Florida is a big game.

Speaker 1 Like, if it was Florida versus, you know, the Sisters of the Poor, I'd be like, yeah, forget it, man. It's the birth of your child.
But Kentucky, Florida is a big game. That's a big game.

Speaker 1 What's that look like? Get it out early.

Speaker 6 Billy sometimes gets

Speaker 6 out early. Billy gets the George W.
Bush like really concerned face whenever he has something to say.

Speaker 1 Not George W. Bush, the Will Farrell doing George W.
Bush. That's how pronounced it is.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it looks like Jake just whispered something dangerous into his ear and he's trying to figure it out. What's going on, Billy?

Speaker 6 No, I'm just wondering what, as a father, what do you do as a dad in the delivery room?

Speaker 1 You just stayed north of the wall. That's all you got to do.
Stay north of the wall.

Speaker 7 You'd definitely be trying to get in the mix, Billy.

Speaker 6 Billy would definitely be like, I'm on hands team.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Hey, doc, you need some help here? Yeah.

Speaker 6 I got this. I read a study.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You actually just need to.

Speaker 1 Here's the good news.

Speaker 6 Billy would just say he's set.

Speaker 1 Here's the good news.

Speaker 1 Besides the whole lack of sleep thing, football season is actually not a bad time to have a baby because when they're very young, when they're like first six months, they don't do anything.

Speaker 1 So you could just sit on the couch. Like you can be actively watching the child and they can just be sitting next to you while you watch football.
So.

Speaker 1 That's the good news about the child coming in in the fall.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 7 All right, last one. There's a guys on guys, but it's a bit of of a red flag, so I'll read it.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 7 My girlfriend will take random pictures of my butt. I thought at first this was funny, so I played along.

Speaker 7 But when looking over her shoulder, it appears she has a group chat on her phone with her friend's name, with her friends named David's My Name Peach Ass Emoji.

Speaker 7 So I checked her phone, and indeed she has been sending these pictures of my butt to her friends.

Speaker 7 The weirdest part is most of the time her friends don't even react to these pictures, but there's an occasional looking good today or nice butt.

Speaker 7 Discovered this about two weeks ago and feel awkward now whenever her friends are over at our apartment, wondering how I should approach this situation.

Speaker 7 I don't necessarily like the fact she is sending them, but I am not completely against it. Do her friends like my butt?

Speaker 1 Okay, so he definitely has a dunk. That's for sure.
But I feel like this is one of those situations where all the friends are like, enough about your boyfriend's butt.

Speaker 1 Like, how much can you brag about, like, imagine like a group chat with all these girls and be like, yeah, my boyfriend's got 12 inches like and then just being like every day yeah another 12 inches last night it was awesome i just i feel they hate it they hate it so you can just say it the butt was it was probably cool the first couple times you saw it but then they're just like this is this is laura's boyfriend's hairy ass or whatever your name is so what you need to do is when they're over

Speaker 1 They definitely are on your side that it's weird. Only your girlfriend thinks this is cool anymore.
So when they're over, you need to be like, hey, ladies, you want to see my butt in real life?

Speaker 1 And then like just break the ice and have it be just mortifying for your girlfriend. She'll probably break up with you.
She'll probably hate you, but there are more butt picks.

Speaker 6 Now, is this a situation where everybody else in the group has their own side chat for their boyfriend's ass?

Speaker 1 It doesn't sound like it.

Speaker 6 It sounds like he's strictly dedicated to you.

Speaker 1 He is the problem.

Speaker 6 It sounds like whatever the female

Speaker 7 photographable ass as a guy is, it's hard to do. Yeah.
You gotta be really fucking dragging along a wagon.

Speaker 6 It almost sounds like this is what

Speaker 6 the female equivalent of losing a fantasy football league is.

Speaker 6 Like you have to start up, as your punishment, you have to start a group chat with just pictures of your boyfriend's ass on it and send us updates every day.

Speaker 1 No, this was definitely one of them said like, oh, your boyfriend's got a big butt. It's so cute.
And then she started it and like, ha ha, that was funny for a couple times.

Speaker 1 Now they're just sick of it. Because you're just, your girlfriend is, is just running up the score on everyone.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and I feel like that's something you kind of joke about maybe when you're not dating or you're still talking in the early stages. Like, oh, you're still talking to the guy with the huge ass.

Speaker 7 But like, once you're dating, it's like, all right.

Speaker 1 That's your boyfriend. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, like, you don't share that shit anymore.

Speaker 6 Is it a huge ass or is it a muscular ass? I think it's

Speaker 1 a difference.

Speaker 1 I think he's got a big fat ass.

Speaker 1 Big fat ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 We have an ad way. We have an ass group chat, but it's just pictures of Hank that we send to each other.

Speaker 1 Remember when Billy used to update dump trucks?

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, big dumpers. Big dumpers.
Yeah, it's, you know, it's back.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Nice. You were about to say that.
Yeah. Yeah, it's back.
Big dumpers. Just dump trucks and asses.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not going to say, Billy, that you missed out on that, but there is an account on Instagram that I think Glenny is a big fan of called just tacos and titties.

Speaker 1 And it's just a very, it goes tacos one day, titties the next. So we dump dumpers was, big dumpers was going to be gold.

Speaker 7 There's one I call called Puppy Melons, and it's just a picture of a puppy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 It's very easy. Just run the same play.
Dump truck, ass.

Speaker 6 Big dumpers actually got changed to big stumpers, and it's just pictures of big stumps.

Speaker 1 Okay, so that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 What was the strategy behind that?

Speaker 1 Wait, you say that, like, you say it got changed.

Speaker 6 Like, you

Speaker 6 do it changed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, oh, well, someone got in the account and changed it to this specific thing that only I care about, and that's big stumps of logs.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but I think we agreed to make it big stumpers.

Speaker 6 I don't think I agreed.

Speaker 1 It got changed, though.

Speaker 6 All right, I'm going to change it back. Someone changed it.

Speaker 1 Wait, so what did it?

Speaker 6 Big stumpers is just logs?

Speaker 2 It's big stumps.

Speaker 1 Do you not understand?

Speaker 1 It's just just. Did you

Speaker 6 the butt, though. We had the butts with the dumpers.
What do we have with the stumps?

Speaker 1 Well, we actually posted butts. Okay.
We posted just big, wide loads of trucks.

Speaker 1 Billy, I'm going to defend you here in that you can keep doing big stumpers, but it has to be a big, like, tree stump and then a big picture of someone's, like, amputated leg. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm down for that.

Speaker 6 Because that's always cool. Back to big dumpers.

Speaker 1 What? Come on. Like, you know when someone does like a shark tattoo on their leg? Yeah.
That's cut off?

Speaker 6 There's usually one guy that's like chugging a beard out of his prosthetic taste.

Speaker 1 That's a perfect

Speaker 1 big stumpers. Yep.
Yeah. Do big stumpers.
That's got some legs. But it has to be.
No, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Well, it has one leg sometimes.

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Speaker 1 Hey, numbers.

Speaker 1 Hank, have you ever won this? 85.

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 6 85. Jake?

Speaker 1 26. 5.
24.

Speaker 2 56.

Speaker 2 No whimy, no whimmy, no whimy, no whimy, no whimy.

Speaker 2 Oh!

Speaker 1 What is it? It's hard to see. 30.
30. 30, 30.
30.

Speaker 1 So close, Hank. What was your number? Five.
Oh, not that close.

Speaker 6 Love you guys. Sperm whales can make a clicking sound up to 200 decibels, which is about the same loudness as a rocket.

Speaker 1 Or your mom.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 day

Speaker 1 I say to go

Speaker 1 talking away

Speaker 1 I don't know what about to say I'm saying anyway

Speaker 1 Today's another day to find you shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I've obviously

Speaker 1 found me somewhere in a way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's the better to be safe than sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Take me.