NFL Preview With Pete Prisco And Stu Feiner, Hard Knocks Finale And The Return Of Guys On Chicks

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On today's part of my take, we have a twofer for the people, Pete Prisco and Stu Feiner breaking down the 2022 NFL season that is a day away. We're going to talk bets.
We're going to talk what Pete thought was the best training camps, teams that might be disappointing, teams that might surprise people. We also have the return of guys on chicks, hot seat, cool thrown, and a recap of the hard knocks finale.
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And weather whatever in Ariat Work Gear. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence.
And I'm not allowed to solve the work to be done. No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue Presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to a part of my take Presented by Game Time The exclusive ticketing app For Barstool Sports Today is Wednesday September 7th And I'm still stuck in Dan Campbell's brain On that last second, last minute, two minutes of hard knocks as he's trying to figure out what the 2022 Detroit Lions are going to be.
He paused for like 30 seconds and he just started to cry because he was just thinking about his men. And that's what Dan Campbell does.
He gets emotional just thinking about all the guys, all the dudes, all the men that he's coached this preseason. and what he was saying.
You could tell. You could see him, like, walk through the emotions of, like about all the guys all the dudes all the men that he's coached this preseason what he was saying you could tell you could see him like walk through the emotions of like all the men that have been in this locker room that are no longer here i need to answer this question for them i think he's like he cares too much about his men because you saw some in the cuts like the players acted like it was they were like it's a privilege to get cut by you.
Thank you for putting this team together. And he doesn't – he needs to figure out that he can't be everyone's best friend on the team.
Some people are going to think he's an asshole. Right, right.
It was actually – it was a full minute of silence because I videoed it and I was just standing there. You know when you do old school, you take your phone out and you're actually like videoing the TV.
And I was just standing there like, holy shit, this is way longer than I thought. I think it was just like, I'd imagine in Dan Campbell's head, it's just two Dan Campbell's like having a bare knuckle brawl.
As he's trying to figure out the words that should come out of his mouth. But you're right, like his cuts.
I loved seeing Tomedy get cut hurt because we obviously uh kind of know him but that was the perfect dan campbell cut because he was like basically screaming at him and crying at the same time in his voice being like you earned it you earned it but you're cut yeah see it happened that happens sometimes guys when players get cut they're told like you did everything that you could we're gonna bring you back later on the season it's actually a very common thing that happens in professional sports you guys are athletes i wouldn't expect you to know that i i would be it would be funny to see like one player get cut by dan campbell and be like yeah man you absolutely nailed me on that one i'm not very good yeah no Yeah. No, I mean, if you watched, if you just, like, picked someone from, let's say, like, England or France, and you're like, watch this episode, you're like, did Dan Campbell just cut an all-star roster? Because every guy was, like, the best player ever, and they just, there was the one, I felt bad for the one guy when he's like, what could I have done more? And he's like, you maximized your talent.
You did everything. You're just not that good.
Yeah, he's like, you were perfect. You did a great job.
You really showed out. I would like to see Dan Campbell do a fake cut.
That would be fun to bring somebody in on cut down day. Maybe bring Rodrigo back there and have have the turk welcome into the office be like so uh we're gonna let you go and then go through that and then pull a psych on him at the last minute yeah like not you're staying around we love you that would have been fun it was um it was weird watching the finale of hard knocks and doing this we we're doing this because we obviously had a show yesterday so there wasn't a lot to talk about we have great interviews with pete prisco and stew finer coming up and guys on chicks but it was funny tweeting about hard knocks and being like just like an empty forest everyone's like wait what what are you talking about right now like people are no one's watching that still it's like yeah you're right no one really is like we I think we do hard knocks exactly correct in that the first two episodes, we get super hyped.
And then by episode three, four, and five, we're like, okay, yeah, football's like one sleep away. We're good.
I think that they're also trying to get us to not watch the Arizona Cardinals in-season hard knocks because every commercial that they've had, it's been like Kyler Murray sitting crisscross on a practice field just looking at the sun. There was one where it was DeAndre Hopkins that was just like he was stretching.
They haven't really even tried to promote it to us yet. So I'm not – you know what? I'll probably watch the in-season hard knocks in maybe April after the NCAA tournament.
That's when I'll go back and I'll re-watch football content. But now, like, I have in-season hard knocks already.
It's called NFL football. Right.
So that's going to scratch that football itch for me. But we did miss one key part last week in hard knocks where I forget who it was.
It was somebody on the lines, obviously, got icy hot on his balls. And he was like, oh, shit, I got icy hot on my balls.
This sucks. and any guy out there that's played sports or just got icy hot on his balls and he was like oh shit i got icy hot on my balls this sucks and any guy out there that's played sports or just used icy hot um knows how bad that feels and it gives you ptsd gives you flashbacks yep getting icy hot on your balls it it will scar you for life i think that's the worst pain that you can go through it is it really is um it's the exact opposite of like doing gold bond your balls, which is the greatest feeling.
It is so, so terrible when you get icy hot on your balls. The only other note I had from this episode was, excuse me, I have the hiccups.
It must be so weird for Eminem to have to introduce himself to people when he's like, hey, I'm Marshall. It's like, yeah, dude, you're fucking Eminem.
There's no one here who doesn't know who you are and him having to like go up and like just do the formality of that i i wonder like is there anyone like does the rock do that does the rock say hey i'm dwayne i'm dwayne yeah that's the only way you can do it you can't say like hey i'm i'm the rock because that doesn't sound cool you want me to get rid of those hiccups no i'm good no i've No, I've got a cure. It works 100% of the time.
I'm good. They're gone.
Okay. I have a cure too, but they're gone.
We'll see. We'll see.
My cure is the best. Oh, wow.
Now we're on hiccup watch. There's a lot of pressure on me.
Yeah. No, we're- I'm going to swallow it if it happens.
You're going to do it. I don't think it's out.
I want to know what the cure is. You're scared.
Well, I do the plug your nose. Plug your ears, and then you just slowly sip, and it works.
I did a little bit of homework into, is it John St. Brown, the bodybuilder? Wait, what's your cure, PFT? Everyone has a cure.
I just got to do it if you have the hiccups. I don't want to do it if you don't have the hiccups.
I beat my hiccups. I beat my hiccups just now.
now no but i don't want to do that if like can you

imagine jimmy hendrix playing the star spangled banner uh to like in his living room you gotta have an audience engaged for it that everyone everyone in the world has a cure for hiccups that okay but mine works mine does too i just i literally just got rid of them i'm proof i'm proof positive we don't know if your cure works okay just showed that it worked Mine is a thousand percent.

It works too good sometimes.

Mine just worked so but anyways your cure i saw john st brown i went to his protein company's website you know the hat that he rocks that says like cane protein i went to it's just an advertisement for how strong his sons are It's awesome. It's like on the website, it says Equinemius St.
Brown.

I noticed was not able to drink enough protein as a seven-year-old so i designed the specific formula for him to get bitter gains uh and so no one's listening to this right now we need the cure seven years old no one cares about this we need the cure you have to tell the cure i'm not gonna do it you can't come on dude all right i I have the hiccups again. Okay.
All right the cure. I'm not going to do it.
You can't. Come on, dude.

All right.

I have the hiccups again.

Okay.

All right.

So here's what you do, Big Cat.

I'll save the day.

You can't leave everyone on a cliffhanger.

Everyone's just sitting there like getting angry.

Like, dude, just say the cure.

There's got to be somebody listening right now that has the hiccups.

If you do, follow along.

Okay.

Just like Big Cat will.

Big Cat, do not exhale until I tell you it's okay to exhale.

Okay.

Take a deep breath in.

Now hold it.

Now swallow.

Don't breathe out.

Now breathe in again.

Now hold it.

Now swallow.

Now swallow again.

It's going to be tough to swallow that third time.

Give me a thumbs up when you're done swallowing.

There it is.

Okay.

Breathe in again.

Stop. Breathe in again.
Stop. Swallow.
It's tough. It's dry.
It's dry. I mean, I already got rid of him, so it's fine.
You didn't complete the program. So after that last swallow, I would have told Big Cat now slowly exhale through your nose.
And at that point, he would be cured of hiccups for life. For life.
For life. That's beautiful.
There we go. You just got to cure for hiccups for life.
I'm not going to last. I was hoping for something a little more exciting.
Yeah, I just drink water slowly and then hold your breath and then they're gone. I was trying to think of a way to scare Big Cat remotely.
Yeah, the scaring is always a fun way because that's just like an interactive way, like just scare someone. But that's good.
Now we have it. Now we can all go on.
What were you saying about the protein? The protein hat. So I went to – we talked about John St.
Brown's protein hat that he wore last time. Like never fuck with a man that wears a protein hat.
And on his website, it's just an advertisement for how strong his sons are. it's like I developed this protein because my son, Equinemius, when he was seven years old, wasn't able to consume enough protein to get adequate amount of gains for a seven-year-old.
So I designed this protein to supplement his meals to make him stronger. So it says, yeah, he's been taking cane protein since he was seven years old.
Also, there's a third St. Brown kid that's coming through the ranks named Osiris.
Oh, hell yes. The coolest.
That's the coolest of all the names. And they're all three great names.
Osiris. Yeah.
Jake, please put in the calendar. We should do the Mount Rushmore of guys to not fuck with because protein hat, cauliflower ears.
There's some good lists of guys to not fuck with. A guy missing a finger i'll do it for june mid-june yeah a guy who who's obsessed with stumps we'll find out that later um but yeah that's i mean the protein hat is is exactly correct if you if you're repping a protein company stay away from that person yep yeah osiris what a fucking Jake, also, do we have anything else on Hard Knocks? I mean, it was a good season.
What do we give it? I give it like 27 mans. Okay.
I'm going to give it 3.9 balls. Okay.
Hank? Hank's muted. Hank has muted himself.
I said it was solid. I'll give it a solid out of 10.
Solid out of 10. Jake, yeah? I'll give it a 3.7 out of 5.
3.7s. All right.
Billy? Best hard knocks since I've been back on part of my take. Okay.
So someone please put those. Out of what? I think it's like out of like two or three.
Yeah. So someone put all of those grades together and give us a final grade of the Lions hard knocks.
I think the final grade is just, it's football. So that's, that's as good as you can hope for it's Dan Campbell football.
The other note that I made is on his big board that Dan Campbell has in his, in his office, you know, it says the lion's schedule. Um, it's, you know, it's separated by, uh, like two hours for each activity for snack.
He calls it fuel station, which is fucking cool. So we got to steal that and call it fuel station when we're eating like shit.
I like that. I like that a lot.
Before we do Hot Seat Cool Throw and Jake, do you have anything from tennis? Yes. Currently watching Kyrgios.
He just threw his racket and he smacked a camera in the span of about 30 seconds. So you guys should put it on ESPN right now, and hopefully by the time you're listening, he won, so you can watch him again in the semifinals.
And we had a haircut in the stands today. Oh, yeah.
There was a YouTuber getting a haircut, and they ejected him. Tennis, so fun that the biggest story from the

US Open today is there was a haircut in the stands.

I actually thought he was

invisible.

As you diss the sport,

did you see Serena's match was the most watched

ESPN tennis match ever?

Yeah, because she fake retired. She's going to

do that every time she fake retires.

Every last time.

What if next week

we just say this is the last part of my take ever

and see how the ratings go. Yeah, we've discussed

Thank you. do that every time she fake retires.
Every last time. What if next week we just say this is the last part of my take ever and see how the ratings go.
Yeah, we've discussed doing that many times, Jake. Just be like, hey, it's over.
But also there is no more Serena. No one else.
She's the last legend to end there. That's why you need curios in the final.
Yeah, but she's not ending. She will play again.
Remember, she's going to get pregnant again and then use the baby blood technique, much like Hillary Clinton and Dominic. I should try to get a bet on the Barstool Sportsbook.
Will Serena ever play in a tournament again? Because I feel like winning a lot of money. Who will play in the U.S.
Open first against Serena or Djokovic?

Okay, let's not.

Well, if we keep with these bullshit COVID laws, then clearly Serena.

I thought it was horse shit that that YouTuber stole LeBron James' idea and got a haircut.

That's legally protected by the shop.

All rights reserved. Second

reserved rights goes to Nick Saban

in case LeBron waives his rights.

Those were both invented by those guys.

I love how

it's a BS law for Djokovic,

but for Rogers, he should go to prison.

What? You cut out

there.

Alright, let's do hot seat cool drawing.

Let's do hot seat cool drawing. throw.
You heard me. Let's do hot seat, cool, throw.

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Hank, you're up.

Yeah, my hot seat is me. Just just huge huge error on my part yesterday uh i said i said brendan frazier got a standing ovation at at cons but it was actually the venice film festival and i had i had a lot of people really upset with me so i just wanted to you know right right right the wrong venice is is more prestigious some might say than i don't know how I got that messed up.
Well, probably because Rosillo was in our head because he went to Europe. I don't know if anyone heard.
But I think we need to start doing these Hollywood deep dives. People like that because we are, as a collective, the least knowledgeable people about the movie industry.
So it's very fun whenever we get into one of these and we're just like oh i don't know so it was it was a great segment yeah have you guys done any more research on it i did a little bit of follow-up on it i'm pretty much caught up i saw a different angle where harry styles dropped a goat on chris pine's lap and it and that's what happened so that seemed fucked up because first of all where do you get the goat from uh and then I saw another one where it looked like chris pine's just been fucked up all week i think sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one i think chris pine has just been doing a shitload of weird drugs all week and he kind of zoned out for a while and snapped back to reality and it looked like he got spat on so that's what i'm going with right now harry styles yeah winning or did how did ryan teach us to pronounce that uh i think it was cons we always called it canes and then maybe it's canes i think he was saying canes i honestly i zone out every time he talks about europe yeah that's smart yeah one love it was it's raising cons. All right.
Hank, your cool throne? My cool throne is Coach O.

Recurring guests. That's smart.
Yeah, one love. It's raising cons.
All right. Hank, your cool throne? My cool throne is Coach O, recurring guest, legend of the game.
He was doing like an interview or a panel or something in front of people, and he told the story about how when he was getting let go from LSU, he was like, oh, you know, the guy said things aren't going well. He was like, yeah, no shit, buddy, basically.
And then he said, you know, you have have 17 million dollars left in your contract we're going to pay you like all of it coach i just said you know where's the door and how fast you want me to get out so he's he's he's like it is the dream he's living the dream and that's the other thing he's like some people have 12 years some people have eight years i had six i got 17 million dollars and now i'm chilling He confirmed confirmed like everything I wanted him to confirm because he had he won a national title with his home state school and some you know when when you I don't know 20 years from now when you're like best champions LSU will be in that conversation that team was that good and so he'll always have that and he has the 17 million dollars he's like yeah it's pretty sweet like i got yeah i got to fucking just i got to go and like i had a good run and it was awesome like that's the best like most college coaches are just so psycho they'd be bitter they'd be mad they would like you know try to get another job right away coach o is just he's he's goals. Yeah, there's no unfinished business.
Right. I think Coach O is actually the most well-adjusted human being out of all the major college coaches.
So there's actually something wrong with you, I think, if you end up being like a Nick Saban, where you're not satisfied with winning a national championship at LSU and getting paid $20 million at that moment to just walk away and never coach again. Like, he had all these opportunities to do things like that.
Nick Saban, for some reason, is such a psychopath that he's not ever happy with anything, so he has to keep coming back and justifying himself to himself in order to make himself a little bit happy. Most normal people, you give anybody $20 million and you don't have to work again, that's the goal.

That's why we're doing any of this that we're doing right now

is to be able to have $20 million, a national championship,

and not ever have to work again.

That is actually a very well-adjusted outlook on life

unlike just about every other head coach out there.

If it weren't for football, Dabo Sweeney would be a serial killer. He's an unhinged human being.
He is not a well-adjusted human being. So thank God for football, because there are a lot of coaches that you could put in that bucket where you're like, who knows what they would do? I was going to go with Mega Church Preacher.
Well, but then he probably would have some really fucked up shit that goes on. Yeah.
Probably end up being a serial killer. He probably would take over for David Miscavige and just be the next fucking Scientology guy.
They are warlords in their little college towns. and they get off on the power and the responsibility,

and they love that shit.

And I guess they do some good sometimes,

and they help a lot of people out.

But at the same time, Coach O's correct.

Coach O absolutely has the right mentality about all this.

Yes.

All right, Pifty, your hot seat, Cool Throne?

So staying down at LSU, my hot seat, Brian Kelly.

A lot of people are saying, buyout Brian.

A lot of people are saying the Bayou buyout.

I saw that trending on Twitter.

$75 million, maybe $80 million to get the buyout going.

He got roasted by a member of the media at LSU today.

The member of the media was, I think, three minutes early to his press conference.

And Brian Kelly said, I'm finding you because you're not on time. And she replied, if you win a game I'll be on time right to his face it's right to his face so he's it's so awesome it's like Brian Kelly is such a detestable person like I just I don't I don't know who could root for him and just having him have this culture shock where I don't know if you guys saw that clip of all the lsu fans after the game just being like fuck this we suck like one kid was like i paid 46 000 for a losing football team this is bullshit like you you thought that notre dame fans were fanatical there's nothing compared to lsu fans i think lsu fans are are like Notre Dame fans.
What Notre Dame fans truly want to be deep down inside, but they have a sense of decorum about them. Correct.
If you get them blackout drunk and get them to tell the truth, that's what LSU fans are like even when they're sober. Right.
LSU fans' resting level is just always angry at every coach no matter what yeah it's it's uh it's a lot of fun to watch brian kelly go through all this it's great that you know as as like we're kind of joking saying like buy out brian i'm not i actually think that he should be bought out but it's you can see the look in his eye he's already thinking to himself like i fucked I made the wrong decision. I don't know what I'm doing down here.
Well, and also, I mean, obviously, he's probably going to be successful there. But the idea that Billy Napier might be successful at Florida and was in the state of Louisiana just makes it even sweeter.
Like, I'm rooting for Florida to win a national title and LSU to bottom out and just have the both of them, like, everyone look around and be like, wait, what? That guy was in the state of Louisiana, and we had to go get the shiny object because he fucking won a bunch of games at Notre Dame. So, yeah, I'm rooting against Brian Kelly.
I want LSU fans to be happy. It has nothing to do with LSU.
I love going down there. The fans are the best.
We've always been welcome there. I just hate Brian Kelly.
I think if you asked LSU fans right now, do you like Brian Kelly, they probably agree with us. They want the team to win football games, obviously.
I think that's the difference, Big Cap, between me and you and diehard LSU fans. We're willing to have Brian Kelly lose a shitload of games and turn the program into an utter disaster just in his face, just so that he has to deal with it.
In the meantime, I think LSU fans are like, well, I'd rather we win football games with this truck. Right, and it won't take long.
I mean, if he's bad for three, again, this is a way overreaction because it was one game, and they weren't supposed to be very good this year. I think their overrun was like seven and a half.
But if he just isn't good for two or three years, he's gone. That's how fast – like you could even make the argument too.
I don't know. Some people are saying that.
Let's get it started. Bye-bye.
I think two years, but if he encounters like enough drunken LSU fans that will tell him to his face all the things that the LSU fans – or that the Notre Dame fans were afraid to to say even behind his back then he's gonna be like i don't i'm too rich for this shit i can go get any other job that i want let me get out of here he's i hope he cries at a press conference that'll be awesome he's like people are just being mean to me yeah he'll just invoke like he'll do some bullshit where he'll be like people are being mean mean to my family. It'll be bullshit.
All right, your cool throne? His family. Yeah.
My cool throne is, well, one of them got taken earlier, so I'm just going to say just jawing, just jawing at each other in baseball. Fake baseball fights are back.
Yes. The Orioles, and it was the Orioles and the Blue Jays, right? Yes, it was the Orioles and Blue Jays.
They just kind of trotted out onto the field and played tummy sticks for a second, acted like they got into a fight, and then they just called it a day. But then it always pops up as trending topics on Twitter, and it sends me push notifications like, watch this, bench is clear in Baltimore, Toronto.
Then I watch it, and they just kind of run out onto the field and shake hands. I just wish it looks so ridiculous because they didn't do anything.
I just wish the bullpens would fight because it's so ridiculous. The bullpens got there by the time the whole thing was over.
And, like, they have to all get up and just run. Like, just fight in the bullpen.
You're right there. Just fucking fight in the bullpen.
That would be so much more fun. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree. Jake, where were you laughing at? No, it's just the visual bullpen showing up five minutes late and just jogging in.
Sometimes you'll see guys running, but most of the time they're just showing up. It was very pronounced in this one, and they're going through the same tunnel, and they're all getting there when it's already over.
It's like, just stay there. That should just be a rule that if there's a fight, the bullpens have to stay in the bullpens, and they have to fight.
Unless it's Graham Lloyd. It's like a fire drill in school, right? You just have to do it because of the protocol.
You're like, this isn't a real fire. You're not going to really do it.
Do you remember when Graham Lloyd would just sprint out during fights and just like pick the biggest dude he could find, run full speed at him and just throw a punch? That dude was awesome. Yeah.
If you're going to sprint out of the bullpen, do that. But, yeah, it's weird for them to like because they're going through the bullpen hallway with the opposing bullpen.
And then they're not mad at them while they're there. And then they get out into the open.
And then all of a sudden they're mad at them again. It's basically the real bros of Simi Valley when they do the fight, when they just never throw a punch.
That's essentially what all baseball brawls have become. Pull me back.
Pull me back. All right, my hot seat was Brian Kelly as well.
My cool throne is Mike Tomlin because Mike Tomlin, I don't know if you guys saw, there was a snafu. So they listed their roster and it was Mitch as the starting quarterback.
Mason Rudolph is number two. Kenny Pickett is number three.
And people were like, huh, that's kind of weird. Kenny Pickett, first round draft pick, he's three.
So apparently it was a clerical error because they copy and pasted the week one preseason depth chart and then released that as the roster. And Mike Tomlin said, quote, the cut and paste component was the cut and paste component.
Standard is standard. That was it.
Wait, wait. Mike Tomlin, you realize what he just did there? Mike Tomlin just cut and pasted, cut and paste into the standard is the standard.
Correct. And then we ended up with a cut and paste component is the cut and paste component.
Yes. That's wild.
So Kenny Pickett is the number two quarterback on the depth chart. So that's good.
So Kenny's number two. Mitch is number one.
But it's just so Tomlin to then just get up and be like, yep, cut and paste. The cut and paste did the cut and paste job.
We just didn't realize the cut and paste was doing that. We executed the cut and paste to the fullest extent possible.
But you have to be judicious sometimes when you do elect to use the cut and paste functionality. There's probably some poor guy who's like, wait, does that mean I'm not cut? If the whole thing was fucked up? Yeah, Big Ben's like, wait, I could come back probably.
Yeah, holy shit. All right, Billy.
My hot seat is myself. I've been battling with chairs for the past week, and it is terrible it is literally the worst bites i've ever gotten the itching hasn't stopped and it's been a full week as of today they got bit by them and it won't let up and new ones are popping up but they're supposedly not contagious and not supposed to bite you more after you leave the woods i it's it's bad this is worst animal bite that I've ever encountered.
And I've been bit by many things. Yeah, no, you listed like 20 different animals that you've been bitten by before, which is an impressive list.
But with the chiggers, are they laying eggs? Are they like babies being hatched that are now biting you? No, that's scabies, which I've had, which pales in comparison to this because this is itching all the time and it is so bad. But I'm fighting through.
I'm in a bit of a struggle, but we're getting through it. It's terrible.
It's honestly the worst. So no ivermectin? I don't even think that would help.
Damn. My cool throne is PFT because the experimental chemicals came and he's on the road for recovery.
This is why, by the way, can I just interject for a second, Billy? There was a time when people were like, five days a week, PMT. This is what it would.
This is what it would be. So, no.
Five days a week does not work. No, but yeah.
I got a cool throw for you, Billy. It's real.
The research chemicals arrived today and I had a long conversation with Billy about the injection and it became very very abundantly clear that Billy did not know, one, what the research chemicals were, and two, how much of them I should use. And then three, where I should be injecting them.
So those are the big three whenever you're injecting medicine into your body. And so Billy has been doing some homework.
I think he went and found like a clean syringe from a needle exchange place today. I don't know.
This all sounds a little, it sounds a little sketchy for me. You know, thank you to New York city government giving out free needles because now we're going to cure PFD's elbow.
So Billy's going to inject me with God knows what next week. Yeah.
Can't even play disc golf in the woods. Speaking that that video is coming out uh today and tomorrow yeah so the get disc golf uh the part of my take billy almost died we're billy rushed his life the part of my take disc golf grand slam presented by new amsterdam vodka we did the first two videos they were teams the last two videos are straight one everyone man for themselves first nine holes everyone's playing second nine holes there's a three-man cut to see who's the uh grand slam champion of disc golf so check it out on the youtube subscribe tonight subscribe um jake finish us off before we get to pete prisco and stew finer.
My hot seat is The Weeknd. The Weeknd had a concert in L.A.
and canceled mid-concert because he lost his voice. That's honest.
That is. It's tough.
Mid-concert? Yeah. So, mid-concert.
I'm not going to judge because we're getting to the point in the football season. about to be – I'm probably going to lose my voice like, I don't know, three or four times.
So, yeah, prayers up to the weekend. There's really not a whole lot that you can do as a weekend if you do lose your voice.
Do you want the weekend to lip sync? Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing you can do.
Good. I heard a story story about t grizzly showing up to a frat that paid him 150k for a concert and he performed one song and then walked off with the same excuse and just left with 150 000 i love it what are you gonna do what are you gonna do t grizzly yeah true facts all right uh your throne? My cool throne, the Ohio State Buckeyes.
Bronny had a visit and did hashtag not committed, but there's buzz like he is committed, so keep an eye out on that. I don't know if you guys saw those pictures.
LeBron was in them too. Hashtag not committed.
Not committed, but maybe committed. Yes.
So we shall see. All right.
Should we do Pete Prisco and Stu Feiner? And then we have guys on chicks on the other side. And the next time you hear from us, we're going to be talking about football.
Real NFL football. There will be football.
Take the over. Take the over.
You're a scumbag if you don't. Yeah.
I think we said we're taking the over on, I think it was May 12th. No matter what.
2022, taking this over. Didn't even know what the line was.
Hammer it. Yeah.
Responsible. All right.
Let's get to Pete and Stu. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars.
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Shop their newest arrivals in store and online. Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Pete Prisco.
He's the senior NFL columnist for CBS Sports. Senior, that's big time.
Also, you can see him on CBS Sports HQ. Pete, we want to do an NFL preview with you, and I have a very important question to start.
Now that Tony Buscelli is in the Hall of Fame, what are you going to use all those extra hours that you used every single week to plead his case? Is it going to be convincing the world that Russell Wilson stinks? What's the plan? It's Fred Taylor time. That's what it is.
It's Fred Taylor time. Okay.
And I think Fred has a legitimate chance to get in. And if you ask the players, like Derek Brooks and Ray Lewis, they all think he should be in.
So it's definitely Fred Taylor time. You was a good player for a while, so you've just kind of nominated yourself to be – you're like the Jacksonville Jaguars lobbyist.
Yeah. I used to cover the team, so I do what I can to get those guys in.
Is that a little bit biased, though? Like, if you're putting on your Big J journalism hat, you shouldn't favor one team over any of the others, right? Oh, I – but that's the guys I can deal with. I can help.
That's what this Hall of Fame voting process is, you know. Guys in each city kind of nominate their guys.
It's worse because I'm not in the room, but know what goes i know there's some guys that probably trade out votes i'll vote for your guy you vote for my guy kind of stuff yeah and it's just going to be i i like the fact that you're going to get all the jaguars in the hall of fame and everyone's going to be like man that team's won how many super bowls like nope fucking pete briscoe was just being angry at everyone, he was annoying everyone in the media world for years and years afterwards. So now all the Jaguars are in.
Well, in fact, when I saw the guys after COVID, I saw a lot of the writers and media guys that I pestered for a couple, for a long time at the owner's meetings. And every one of them came up to me and said, now you can leave me alone.
Now you can leave me alone. Now you can leave me alone.
I said, no, it's Brett Dallerton. All right, that's perfect.
That's perfect. All right, so Pete, you've been at all the training camps.
You cover the league. You are a senior analyst, columnist, sorry.
Let's start with the AFC. Let's start with the AFC.
I don't know which direction you want to go. I'll give you this to start with.
Is it the Bills and then everyone else? It's the Bills. It's definitely the Bills.
And I did go up there. I finally got to get – I'm like you.
I finally got to talk to Josh Allen on camera because, like you guys, I've been one of the few guys that actually propped him up from the day he came out. And I finally got to talk to him.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you guys, myself a few there aren't many of us I can tell you that yeah day one guys with Josh Allen so I was reading something about him today that uh they're they're trying to encourage him to be less Josh Allen and by that I mean they're trying to minimize the hits that he takes which I guess is smart but they're trying to teach him you know okay slide if you have a, go out of bounds instead of taking a hit. But I don't think that's Josh Allen.
I think that that can last maybe a half, and then he's just going to revert to playing the way that he's always played, which is see somebody run somebody over. Yeah, but here's the thing about Josh Allen.
Okay, if they want to do that, then quit calling the design runs for him. I mean, that's an easy way to eliminate some of those hits.
He's great when he gets outside the pocket and he can move. And you're right.
He's probably not going to start sliding, but he should. But the design runs, those are the ones they got to get away from because the quarterback sweeps that they run.
And yeah, sometimes they work, but they run too many of them. So I'm with you.
Get away from that. But boy, I'll tell you what, if they play like they did against the Chiefs, and I'm a big believer that's the way they should play, up-tempo, throw it around, get those guys in space, they can put up a ton of points.
The problem is, I still think Sean McDermott, in his defensive mentality, would like to play great defense and try and maybe not play as free and loose as they should. I hope he doesn't do that because I think they can put up a ton of points.
Okay, and then also from your visit to their camp, is there any issue with Brian Dable now being with the Giants? Because obviously that's – I wouldn't say a concern, but whenever you shift over a prolific offense and an offensive coordinator gets another job, you've got to be like, okay, this is going to be a little different for a while yeah it'll be an adjustment I don't I don't think it's going to be a major adjustment because you know Dorsey's a good coach he's a smart football guy he's been around and and Josh has taken to him already so I don't think it's going to be that big of an adjustment you know the biggest adjustment is the offensive line has to be better which I think it will be they have to run the ball when you need to run the ball and that's been a problem for them at times uh but with all those weapons and you know gabriel davis looks like a different dude his body's different he runs better routes he's going to put up big numbers on that offense and the biggest and best thing about that team on the other side is now they have eight guys on defense they can rotate in and one of them is von miller yeah i mean they come in waves on that defensive line that's going to be a really good defense when they get judevius whiteback we're rooting for the people of buffalo uh we love we love buffalo and we love the bills uh all right so if not the bills give us the other i don't know maybe let's go rattle off two or three teams that you see in the afc and then we'll talk about some specific teams after that yeah i think you got to go to the West I don't think you know I joke around and call the West The SEC of the That's a funny joke What's that? That's a funny joke It's a good line. That's a really funny joke I mean it is.
I mean look The SEC's king. I went to school In the Pac-12 and the Pac-12 is garbage So I can sit here and say You saw two teams go and lose already but i think when you look at the sec i mean the the afc west well that's what it is it's loaded who's the best team the chiefs probably are but you can make a case for the chargers um and you can make a case that the raiders and broncos are going to be playoff teams so if i like the three the three teams in that division for me, you guys are going to say, oh, it's Russell Wilson eight.
That's not what it is. I think it's the Chiefs one, Chargers two, and the Raiders three.
That's how I see that. You still do hate him.
I'm surprised that you even like Josh Allen. Because when Josh Allen got to the league, you probably didn't expect him to run the ball as much as he does.
And now you probably hate him more. You hate running quarterbacks,'m not a big fan of running quarterbacks and oh by the way as big as josh allen is look what the big bodies did to cam newton's body remember big physically to run over anybody his body broke down the nfl defense defensive players are nasty and violent i don't care how big you are they're eventually going to wear wear you down and you got to be able to throw from the pocket josh allen Allen can do that.
Russell Wilson can do that. And eventually you have to get to where you can go through your progression to get the ball out.
Do you like what Brandon Staley does on fourth downs? If I were to guess, yeah. I could see that one coming.
You absolutely go apeshit. He's a true football guy.
When he called a run on fourth and one on their own, 18, last year, you probably had a stroke. Almost.
I mean, it's ridiculous. You know, I'll give you a story, too, because my dad's 86.
He's been watching football forever. He calls me up.
He goes, what's that 17-year-old fucking coach on the Chargers doing on fourth down? Oh, the fuck they died. And I said, there you go, Dad.
I love it. I love it.
But, I mean, I just don't get it. There has to be a way where you get into flow of game that supersedes just going for it because the analytics say it should.

And the other thing is, and I've had this argument many a time with all the analytics guys, is a fourth and an inch is not the same as fourth and, you know, 40 inches.

Yet on the stat sheet, it is.

So it's a different play.

Game flow matters.

You can't just go for it because you played madden when you were 14 it makes no sense to me game flow matters if it's 45 41 go for it if it's 9 6 and neither team has moved the ball you don't go for it it's really simple it's not that complicated we i i think i I think Pft and i both agree that like there's i like the aggressive nature but the analytics never factor in the uh human element of like the deflation you have when you don't get it and if you do that over and over and then you're putting stress on your defense and you know giving them bad field position like that part always never made sense to me where it's like, like sometimes if, if the way the game is going, getting three points is going to be more important than risking to get another first down. I agree.
I'm in agreement with you on that. Here's the other, but do you think about this though? If your ball, if the ball is on the edge line, right? What's it say on the stat sheet? It says one Pete Prisco.
What's it say if it's just inside the two? Fourth and one. It's not the same play.
Pete, they do have fourth and inches, though. That's a thing.
It's not on the data they input. Whose computer data are you looking at? Whose spreadsheet? It's the data they use is on the yards.
That's where the data comes from. Because I've talked, you know, Tony Khan, his father owns the Jaguars and works on the team.
He has a bunch of analytics companies. And I've told him, I said, Tony, when you can factor in fourth and inches being the same as fourth and 45 inches, then you can talk about your analytics.
Until then, it doesn't make any sense. Okay, so I just want to say we don't agree with you because i'm pretty sure they do do that i'm almost 100 sure no they do not i'm gonna text tony con right now and i'm gonna find out i'm gonna find out if he has a difference between definitely one yard and one inch this is so i hope you never change your mind though yeah i'm distancing myself from pete because uh my take is more about the game flow and not the fact that they don't know how to judge an inch versus, you know, 30 inches because they definitely do.
Regardless. No, they do know how to judge it, but in the data they input and use, they don't judge it.
I'm telling you. Okay.
Regardless of whether or not I'm right or I'm wrong on this, I hope you don't change your opinion based on what I tell you. I hope – like I like that you're dug in right now.
I do have a question for you. And you know what? I like analytics.
Use them. But they're not the end-all, be-all that they make them out.
That part I totally agree with because how a team is coached, like the human element of sports is something that a computer can never figure out. And there is how a team responds, guys respond, time and place, that it's just not – you can't do it straight from a spreadsheet.
I think analytics, like the teams that use them are smarter and you should embrace them, but you also need to have the ability to be like, let's not use this every single time. I mean, but everybody's used analytics.
If you're smart, you use them even before they became chic. You always use your stats and your data.
Well, yeah, no, he hates numbers. I love this.
It's just about numbers. They were just using different analytics before.
Like, analytics have always been a thing. If you look at baseball, the first person that came up and pitched batting average to them they're like look at this fucking nerd but then it catches on and then it lasts for you know 40 50 years as as the number one thing that people base their decisions on it's all analytics all the way back they just change what's defined as being important analytics yeah and baseball you can use analytics more because it's one-on-one it's not you know it's pitcher against's pitcher against the batter.
That's what it is. It's not 11 guys playing 11 guys.
Yeah. All right.
What were you going to ask, PFT? Yeah, I was going to just bring up, you remember how weird that game was with the Jaguars last year, the Jaguars-Bills game? Yeah. Yeah, that's.
What happened there? I don't know what. The Jaguars won that game.
I don't know what that was. Nine to six, right? People kind of forgot about that game.
That was the last time that the Bills looked, well, I guess in that Monday night game with the weather. They didn't look good in that one either, but you can throw that one out there.
Did the Jaguars figure out the Bills? Is there anything we can go back and look at? Be like, hey, here's the blueprint. I've got to remember, okay, it wasn't Josh Allen, but when they played him in the playoffs one year with Tyra Taylor, they were terrible too and limited him, I think, to six points in that game.
It was windy, though. Different schemes, different defenses.
I think that was Blake Bortles' game in the playoffs. It was very windy.
Yeah, but still. I mean, no, look, Joe Cohen did a really good job with that defense last year because they were undermanned.
And the fact that they limited that team to six points is amazing. I mean, it's like when you go back and look, like the Saints had a really good job with that defense last year because they were undermanned and the fact that they limited that team to six points is amazing i mean it's like when you go back and look like the saints had a really good defense and there's always the aberration games they were number one in the run run defense and the eagles gashed them for like 180 yards i mean there's always those games somehow some way they they come out and that's one of them yeah if they played the bills they played the bills 10 times the bills would score 39 of those.
They just didn't do it that one time. All right.
Sticking with the AFC, a couple more questions about that division or conference. Sorry.
The Bengals. I think we all, we love Joe Burrow.
The Bengals were a great story last year. Do you think that they're up at that level with the Chiefs, with the Bills? I'm not going to say the Chargers because I want the Chargers to make the playoffs before I start putting them up there.
But, like, are they up there with some of these teams that we expect to be very, very dominant throughout the year? Yes, they are. Okay.
And the reason being the offensive line is going to be better. I mean, that kid got brutalized last year.
He got sacked and hit and got the ball out, and they still put up in points. And so, yeah, they're going to be much better.
I mean, the receivers are amazing. He's outstanding.
He's tough. He's got that attitude.
And the offensive line will be better. Don't forget what the defense did.
They got much better as the season moved along. They're definitely in the mix.
I think they're the best team in that division. The thing they're going to have to deal with is being the team that everybody's gunning for now.
And when you're that team, it's different. When you sneak up on people, it's different than people getting your number one game every week in and week out.
So I think they're going to be really good. I saw him at camp and he, it was right after about two weeks after appendicitis.
And he looked like he didn't look good. He looked thin, really thin.
So I'm curious to see how he's regained that weight since then. I was a couple weeks ago.
He'll be fine. He'll be fine.
So give me in the AFC your, your, your team that you're going to be most disappointed in and the team that's going to shock everyone. And then we will make sure that we call you up on this at the end of the season.
The Broncos will be the most disappointing team. And it's not because of Russell Wilson.
Yes, it is. You hate it.
I think he's going to have a big year. I think their offensive line has issues, and they have a couple other issues on defense.
I think that could be a problem for him. So it's not because not because of him i believe me it's not and then i think nate hack is going to be a really good coach i saw your interview with him i think he's fun he's going to be you know different type of coach but i think he's going to be a good coach and then so they'll just i think tennessee's going to take a step back a little bit if you're looking for the surprise of the surprise teams i'm not sure there is one i'll give you a team that's going to be a little bit better than everybody thinks they'll be, the Texans.
Yep. Okay.
Agreed. Agreed.
Mills Mafia. Yeah.
I'm a big Davis Mills guy. I like them coming out, and I think he's one of those guys that has that swagger and that feel about him.
I think he's going to be much better, and Nico Collins is going to have a big year for them as well. I think the Texans are not going to win 10 games, but they're going to be better than you think they are.
Yeah. You know, Davis Mills, he was the number one ranked quarterback when he was being recruited into college.
So he was a five star guy. He's still got that somewhere.
Who's their running back? The rookie that they drafted. Oh, Pierce from Florida.
That guy's going to be good. I've watched him run a few times this preseason he's got the pft eyeball stamp on him and that's you know what when you get that pft eyeball stamp you know where you're going you're going right to the top straight to the top i'm just gonna throw this out there if you put a thousand dollars on the houston texans to win the afc south,000.
Wow. And really, when you think about the South, I mean – It's the Pac-12 of the AFC, if I had to say something.
It might be worse than that. I mean, I like the Colts because I think Matt Ryan will be good in that thing, but they have some issues as well.
And then you go to the Titans, is Ryan Tannehill their long-term starter? No. I think he's going to be, but we know what he is by now, and he's going to be a little inconsistent.
They are getting a lot of disrespect, though. I'm going to put on my Titans respect hat real quick because I feel like nobody's talking about the fact that they were the number one seed last year out of the entire division, and they, they had the most players play for them of any team in NFL history.
That's how injured they were. People talk about the Ravens being the most injured team ever.
The Titans actually had the most players in NFL history suit up for their team last year. So while I don't think that they can win a Superbowl, I still think that they're the team to beat in that division.
And Mike Vrabel is just a great coach. He is a good coach.
And they take on his personality. Aren't they the same team every year? Just physical, nasty, run the ball, you know.
But at some point, you've got to be able to throw the ball better than they throw it. Well, and I wouldn't be shocked if Malik Willis is, at the end of this year, is starting for them.
Because you're right. Like, Ryan Tannehill is clearly not the long-term, you know, solution for them solution for them and they're clearly looking I don't know if Malik Willis is either yeah Pete have you seen they're gonna try him yeah they're gonna see that you mean please don't don't judge anybody based on the preseason well guess what I am I'm putting the PFT eyeball stamp on him too he's good I actually have the big cat eyeball stamp on him sucking because I watched him at liberty but if pft saw him at preseason i'll trust his opinion i i said before the draft that i would drafted him in the third round everybody killed me killed me and he got drafted in the third round that's where he should have got drafted damn pete you did it again you did it again that's why you're the senior columnist all right let's let's talk nfc oh believe me, I thought Christian Ponder would be good, so I got that going.
Oh, gross. We knew he sucked.
He's actually maybe the worst quarterback in the history of the NFL. Yes.
If you take an objective look at the stats, people don't talk enough about just how bad of a quarterback he was. Terrible.
He was terrible. And by the way, Rick Spielman now works with us, so I can go, hey, Rick, I had him wrong too, but it didn't hurt me at all.
Yeah, that's why now we're colleagues. He's got to look at himself in the mirror.
He's good on the air, though. If you ever want to get him on the air, he's good on there.
Okay, so NFC. He'll say anything.
Give us your – I don't know where to go. The NFC is wide open, in my opinion.
It's a lot different than the AFC. Everyone has the Packers, the Bucks, the Rams but I've fallen in love with the Eagles.
I have a future on them. I think the Vikings are going to be good.
There's a lot of teams so why don't you start with who you think is going to win it the NFC and then maybe the surprising team. The Packers are going to win it in my mind I think and not because of their their offense this time around I think their defense has a chance to be nasty I mean that secondary might be the by the end of the year middle of the year gonna be the best secondary in the league if they all stay on the field you know you get Alexander and Stokes they're playing corner you got the two safeties can play I think Rashawn Gary's gonna have a breakout year they drafted the two kids from Georgia who are going to be good players they're going to be Kenny Clark's good they're going to be much better on defense.
And in fact, I think Rashawn Gary is going to have a breakout year. They drafted the two kids from Georgia who are going to be good players.
They're going to be – and Kenny Clark's good – they're going to be much better on defense. And, in fact, I think the defense will carry them early on.
And you know Rodgers will get it going. So they're going to be really good.
But I'm with you on the Vikings. You know, when I watched the Vikings, I was there a couple weeks ago.
They're a different team, different feel. And they're going to score a ton of points.
The question with the Vikings becomes what happens in crunch time? Does Kirk Cousins get it done in crunch time, or does he get the glazed look on his face that he's like, you know, and he's like, you're like, get out of it. Snap out of it.
You made a bad play. Go play the next play.
And sometimes he can't do that. And in big games, if you can't do that, you're not going very far.

What about the Lions?

Everybody's rooting for the Lions because of hard knocks.

You can't not root for Dan Campbell to outperform expectations a little bit.

I think that seven wins for the Lions is a good season, right?

They can be happy with seven wins.

They're going to be really good on the offensive line. They do like Jared Goff more than people think they do.
I think defensively they have some issues, and that could be a problem. But they're going to be feisty and tough every single week.
I'm with you. I think they're building to next year.
And if Goff has a good year, he'll be the guy. If he doesn't have a good year, they'll go get another quarterback.
But I think they're going to be a tough out week in and week out and they're the third team in the division i'll give you a team that i i wasn't sure i would really like them and i left there thinking i'm i really do like them and that's the saints that defense my gosh across the board they have so much talent on defense everywhere and you know we we know Jordan's a really good defensive end.

The guy they're raving about is Davenport,

and he might end up being their best defensive player this year.

The only thing is, does Jameis take care of the ball?

If he takes care of the ball, and think about this, their top three receivers, the second three were the guys

they were throwing to last year.

The top three are all new.

You get Thomas back, you got Olave, and you got Jarvis Landry.

Yeah, so Thomas, I think, could be a game changer

for the four games that he actually suits up this year.

But Jameis, you've seen Jameis.

He already had a hamstring injury, by the way.

Yeah, of course, he's got a little bit of a hamstring.

He always will.

But with Jameis, you've watched him play in training camp, right? You saw him taking reps. How sweet does he look? I mean, he's in the best shape of his life, like everybody is at this time of the year.
But he was throwing the ball well. Again, though, like every coach who's ever coached Jameis has told me, you've got to get him to quit being a hero.
You can take the check down. You can take the quick slant.
Everything doesn't have to be a home run. That's why he threw all those picks when he was with Tampa Bay.
If he can get that mentality, and Sean Payton did a great job of preaching that into him. If this staff does and he doesn't turn it over, they're going to be a good team.
In fact, I think they win the division. I don't think the Bucs win the division.
I like that. We're going to get back to Pete Prisco in a second.
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That's www.nobullproject.com backslash barstool for 30% off. Am I stupid for my hype on the Eagles? I feel like they have been hyped a lot.
They have, to me me one of the best rosters they just it's whether Jalen Hurts can be good or not I love you I saw them here they were I went to go watch their their workout they were supposed to have a practice with the second day with Miami and Miami had diarrhea and so they didn't practice that day and I talked I talked to some players I go can you imagine back in the old days if guys had diarrhea and you called off practice? I mean, you know, but they did. And the Eagles practiced, and I watched them.
And Jalen Hurts is much better, much better. And I remember last year he was going through his reads.
He didn't always get through them. That was a problem.
Well, now he's going through the progressions, and he's getting through them and and guys i talked to said had an outstanding camp in terms of going through his progressions and the day before when i wasn't there i was in new orleans the day before he didn't have some big plays down the field and they criticized him all the media and sirianni came out the next day and said no he graded out the exact way we wanted him to grade out he was going to the right reads and the right progressions and that's big for them you're being on them is the right way I think they win that division yeah and also I mean the AJ Brown like how are teams going to guard them when they have a you know Devontae Smith I think is going to be a fantastic career um he showed flashes of it last year Jalen Hurts probably limited how great he would have been if he had been with a seasoned vet. He probably would have been a rookie of the year type guy.
And now you have A.J. Brown on the other side of the field.
How are you going to guard both those guys? And you know what? He's gained weight. Devontae Smith, which he needed to do, and he said because he likes to go to Wawa and eat their sandwiches.
So that's how he gained his weight. I don't know if that's the right way to do it, but it's a good plug for Wawa.
I think I'm with you. I think that team and the offensive line might be the best in the league.
Yeah. It's the board.
They're really good. He got Goddard to throw the ball to the tight ends.
Now the running backs aren't great, but in that system, they don't need to be great. They just need to be guys who do stuff in space and they could do that.
So I'm with you. I think the Eagles are the best team in that division.
I think they win the division. Yeah.
Well, what about Jalen Hurts? Because I think that I've read that while his wide receiver's been gaining weight, he's lost weight, right? He's gotten skinnier. Yeah, and looks like a different guy.
And he can fly anyways. I mean, he can really move.
But that's not the issue with him. The issue is, is he going to go through his progressions, which he didn't do a great job of last year,

and everybody says he's doing a much better job of it this year.

If they do that, they can win 11, 12 games.

What about what's going on in San Francisco?

It's been really weird this offseason.

Jimmy G was going to get traded.

He got to surgery at a weird time, came back.

He didn't want to be back, but they're like, okay, we'll restructure your contract, just kind of hang out for a while. Oh shit, now we got to trade Nate Sudfeld because you're coming back.
It seems like a very, like it's a marriage of convenience out there right now, right? Like Jimmy G is not happy there, obviously, but at the same time, how quick of a leash are they going to have on Trey Lance if after like two weeks he's not getting it done and they've got a team that's built to win now? Bringing Garoppolo back was a hedge. That's what that was.
They're not convinced about Trey Lance. They can talk all they want about being convinced of Trey Lance.
I don't believe them. And I know I talked to some people that when he had a workout and when he worked out against the Vikings that it wasn't a great day.
And some of the players said that. And so there's's concern there and there has to be I mean he his motion is a little different it's a little funky I mean he's a big strong kid and he can move and I hear he's a great kid first one in last one out but but again that's a hedge they're convinced that they have a good team right now and if things don't go well for Trey Lance early then I think you could see Jimmy Garoppolo back in the lineup.
I mean, Jimmy Garoppolo's not great either, but you've got to have a guy that you believe in. And if they don't believe in Trey Lance, I think Garoppolo could be back in as the starter.
It's crazy because, you know, Garoppolo, the Garoppolo defenders always throw his record out there. And then people who watch the games are like, well, yeah, of course, he's had a good record.
But there are the one or two throws that you need him to make, the one in the Super Bowl. If he makes that throw, the 49ers are champions.
But the 49ers roster, that's another one where it's like their top three roster, top four roster. They had to bring him back, right? Because if they're as good...
Yeah, the middle of their offensive line is an issue. That could be an issue for them.
I know the way they scheme things up and the way they run, it's probably less of an issue than on some teams, but they've got an entire new group in there, and that's going to be a problem for them, I think, early in the season. But I'm with you.
The roster is good, really good. They've got stars.
I mean, when you look at the teams that are good, they have stars. Samuel Kittle.
And on the other side of the ball, Bosa and that group. I mean, they have stars on that team.
So you win with stars and you make sure your roster is supplemented. And Shanahan's a great coach.
I mean, he gets the best out of all those guys. But he will be challenged this year with a young quarterback.
We'll see what he does early in the season. I'm curious to see what Lance does.
I'm guessing you're not a huge Kyler Murray guy. I mean, you got to do it down the stretch.
He hasn't done it down the stretch. You know, you wilt in the moment.
I mean, you know, he's been banged up. He's been hurt and, you know, great starts.
And all of a sudden, those, you know, go down downtown. And then I think you've got to be able to be good in December, November, December, and he's just been okay and for that contract he better be much better than that this time around yeah and how are you feeling about dak are you a believer in the cowboys i think the cowboys might be that same thing that the titans are where the cowboys they've they've got a good roster on paper right like they've got some playmakers especially on defense like michael parsons might be the best defender in league not named Aaron Donald probably sorry Aaron if you're listening to this don't stab me but yeah I feel like the Cowboys are I feel like the Cowboys are team no one's really talking about which is weird for Dallas it is weird and I think that Tyron Smith injury is going to be a big one for them I know they're signing Jason Peters and he'll play there for you know until Smith comes back but that's the same.
He's not bad, but he's not the same player. And that hurts him.
But I like Dak. I think if – and they've got to run the ball better.
The offensive line has been a little bit of up and down the last couple years, and it might be this year early in the season. You don't know what steal is at right tackle.
You have the uncertainty starting a rookie early on at left tackle. So you don't know what they're going to be.
And, you know, Elliott's got to be better.

They paid him a boatload of money.

If he doesn't play well this year, he's out of there.

And I think he knows that.

And he's looked good so far in camp.

But I'm with you.

I think Dallas is probably his second team in that division.

I like Washington's makeup, you know, before camp and everything.

But, you know, Chase Young not being back and some other things,

I'm a little concerned about that.

The Cowboys are interesting this year because I do like Dak as well, not as a guest, but as a player. But they actually might benefit from the fact that they will probably start a little slow.
Because it feels like every year it's like whenever they have that hot start and everyone's like, Cowboys are back. gallop not start you know starting the season and tyron smith not starting the season like they

might be one of those teams that gets better down the stretch and that's the team that you want in

the playoffs well it's good they're gonna have to navigate early on you're right because they're

going to be better as they get through it but you got to make sure you don't go too far behind and

i don't think in that division they will even though i'm with you on the eagles i think they're

gonna be good i don't think they'll fall that far behind this is going to put more on dak look

Thank you. you don't go too far behind.
And I don't think in that division they will. Even though I'm with you on the Eagles, I think they're going to be good.
I don't think they'll fall that far behind. This is going to put more on Dak.
Look, he can do it, but let's see. Now you've got to carry the team more.
It's more on your shoulders. And remember, when Tyron Smith hasn't been there, they've had big problems.
He's been hit a ton. So he's got to carry the team.
And I think this is an opportunity for him to show people, look, this is am as a quarterback and I'm better than you think I am so give us the shocking team in the NFC and the disappointing team I think I think the Bucs are going to be a little disappointing and I don't know why I believe that I don't I think they might be a playoff team I just don't think they're going to win the division and win 13 12 I think they're going to sneak in. And they'll be dangerous if they get in.
I think they're going to sneak in. I think that losing those guys on the offensive line hurts them.
And Brady, when he has interior pressure, and it's all in the interior, when you have interior pressure, I mean, no quarterback likes it, but he doesn't move that well, and he really doesn't like it. Yeah.
When Allie Marpet went down i think it was last year two years ago it was like shocking how much worse the bucks were it was just that guy and now obviously he retired so okay i like that i like jensen's hurt and you know they got issues on that line now matt shack mason's a good player in there but they have issues on that line and the saints somehow get into their heads a little bit when they play them. Remember, they shut them out last year.
Nothing. They shut out Brady in that offense last year to nothing.
And Godwin's coming off a knee injury. We don't know if Godwin's how he's going to be.
I think Tampa might be going in the wrong direction team. I like what you're doing here because I feel like 10 years ago, people started to do the, I don't believe in Tom Brady.
I think he's too old. The game has passed him by.
Then he went on a 10-year run that has never been duplicated in the history of football. But at the start of those 10 years, people would doubt him every offseason because of his age.
You could bring that back and be like, you know what? I think 45 years is too old for Tom Brady. I think maybe it's time for him to hang it up, and you could finally be the person that's right.
No, because I don't think that, though. I watched him throw when I was there for training camp.
My God, his ball, it still zips all over the place. His arm has gotten stronger, if you can believe that.
It's amazing. No, it's not going to be because of him.
It's going to be because he gets hit, and they don't have the weapons outside. Maybe Godwin's not what he used to be.
I think those are the issues that he might face. It's not because of him.
He can still play at a high level. Okay.
And then the shocking team in the NFC. By shocking, you mean go deep into the postseason? Yeah, or just be way better than people are expecting.
So you can't pick a team that people are expecting to be good. I think New Orleans is going to be way better than people.
I said that earlier. I think they will be.
And I'm with you. You know what? I saw those three teams in three straight days.
I saw the Vikings, the Saints, and the Eagles. And all three of them, I left there saying, those are three playoff teams.
All three of them. So those are the three teams that I think you have to keep an eye on i don't think like the bears no offense but i don't think the bears gonna be very good no they're gonna be a playoff team i don't think seattle's any good i'm not sure about arizona um you know the giants who knows by the way i do like the giants opening week getting this what are they getting six and a half this week against tennessee yep would you take Yes.
I think so. We were talking about a lot of underdogs in this room right now.
Are you thinking about taking the Jags against the Commanders? Yeah, if they win that game outright. Yeah, we were talking about that.
I hate to admit it, but I also tend to agree with that. I'm with you on the dogs this week.
I think there's going to be a lot of dogs that are in play this week. Lots of them.
We didn't talk about the Dolphins. I'm very curious in the Dolphins this year because of the McDaniel experiment that they're doing down there.
He wasn't their first choice, and he seems like a cool guy, like a breath of fresh air. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you don't think that he can get it done in the leader of men category.
I don't know if he can. You don't know.
But I will say this. What would your dad say? 30 years ago, if he had walked 30 years ago, that guy walked in a room.
They said, I'm going to be the head coach. They would already assure you are.
I mean, that's just how the game has changed. He's a brilliant offensive mind.
He's brilliant. But when things go wrong, how does he handle it? Because he's been rah-rah.

Every other word out of his mouth is two of this and two of that and two of

two of two.

All you do is pump the guy up.

Let's see when he gets on the field in the game.

Then when it goes bad, then what do you do?

That's how you define a coach.

When it goes bad, do you get him out from underneath it?

And I don't know.

We don't know if he can at all. And by the way i once had a nice conversation with him at the combine he was the run game coordinator of uh the falcons and i said all you had to do was take three knees and you got a ring on your finger and you know what he told me our analytics said that we should i said it's the super bowl you throw your analytics the hell out the window and you take three these and kick a field goal and you got a ring on your damn finger oh i love that i love that all right so but by the way uh pete breaking news here i just got a text back from tony khan your guy he said tell pete since we first had this conversation years ago the tech has totally changed and now we actually do give the data that way now we can tell if it's a long one or a short one yeah so i guess welcome to the analytics revolution there's no way you were right about that and this was only a couple years ago when i had that conversation with him he could say all he wants about a long time ago and then then that so i still don't think the data that the teams use that most people use isn't isn't by broken down by inches so when you have twitter cult when you have twitter cult going our data says to go for it yeah they have here because we got they don't have the same data yeah no they do no they no they do they all know are you do you have it no yes i i see it on my twitter feed they know the the difference between...
I think the New York Times has a fourth down by. The fourth down by, yeah.
The nerdiest paper ever has the fucking better football knowledge than you, Pete. Just because you have the data doesn't mean you have good football knowledge.
That's also true. It's different.
All right. You've got to be able to use the data.
That's why you have to have a nerd who's smart enough to make good contributions, but also nerdy enough to be able to get absolutely steamrolled when he's being a big dork about things. You hire a nerd on the sidelines and let him sit there and he'll go, Hey, coach, we should go for this because his data says that we should go for this.
And you look at him and you go, okay, we'll go for it. Then it messes up and you cost you the game.
And then you swap the guy with a backhand. That's what you do.
That's a good guy to have on your staff. 100%.
We're running out of time here, but I did want to get your take because we were talking before you got on the Zoom about who the best Italians in the NFL are. I feel like there's no more Italians in the league anymore.
You know, there really isn't. No.
Danny Amendola was the last really good guy. The Boses.
Oh, yeah, the Boses. The Boses.
Yeah. Gino Smith.
Yeah, famous Italian. I got a cat named Gino.
Nice. Cool story.
No, you're right. There really are men.
The Boses, though, you know, the Roman nose, they're definitely Italian. You can say that.
Yeah. I think Jake Kummerow wasn't – I think he's – No, he's not.
No, I think he's – He's Eric Kummerow. His father – I used to know his father's father.
No, but his mother is the daughter of one of, like, yeah. No, Kumaro's mom is Bosa's.
That's right. So, yeah, so he's Italian.
So you just proved my point. He's Italian.
I've actually got drunk back in the day with Eric Kumaro once, way back in the day. He's a good dude.
Yeah. He was a quarterback who turned into a linebacker.
But you proved my point. He's Italian.

Well, he's honorary.

We'll give him the honorary.

He's half Italian.

He's the brother of

the mother. Do you know if the

mother's Italian? The mother's not Italian.

The father is.

What are you talking about?

You just said that his

mother is a Bosa. Kumaro's sister is the Bosa's mother.
Nick is Joey's mother. You see that? It doesn't mean she's Italian.
Wait, what? Kumaro's sister is Joey Bosa's what? Wait, what? Mother. Kumro's sister is Joey Bosa's what?

Wait, what?

Mother.

Kumaro's sister, Joey Bosa's mother,

but Joey Bosa's dad is Italian is what you're saying,

and we don't know if his mom is.

He's the great-

Got it.

No, he's the great-grandson of Tony Accardo.

I knew that he was the fucking grandson of one of the

Italian mobsters.

Eric Kummerow is?

No, yes. Yes.

I'm looking

at it right now. I'm looking at it right now.

I knew this.

But Kummerow

is not an Italian name.

I understand that, but he still could be...

So maybe his mother was

Accardo's family.

That's what we're looking at here, yeah.

That's where the... That's where the analytics are leading us.
Yeah, that's the genealogy analytics. They can't tell the difference between 50 and 51%.
You're going to have me related to the Pope soon enough. Oh my God.
Pete, let'sack question. Go to RHOBACK.com.
Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, hoodies, polos, everything.
Roback.com. Super Bowl.
Give it to us. It's the Buffalo Bills beating the Green Bay Packers.
Josh Allen will win the MVP. And what he should do when he wins the MVP in a super bowl is go stand on the 50 yard line and shoot birds to every person who ever doubted him because there were millions of them who mocked him and they made fun of him.
They laughed at him and that's what he should do. And he will do.
He'll win the MVP. One thing though, just make sure that 13 seconds doesn't blow your chances this time around.
That's too soon, Pete. Nice note there.
Nice note. I like that.
You said that in a very Italian. That was a threatening way you said that.
Be a real shame. Yeah.
If the clock was sticking down on you. All right, Pete, you're the best.
Yeah, no, you said it in a very Italian way. We feel threatened right now.
Well, take it as you want. Pete, thank you.
I know people. Yes, we know, we know.
All right. Thank you, Pete.
We appreciate it. Check out Pete.
you probably, if you're listening right now, there's a 50% chance that you're blocked on Twitter by Pete, but if not, you should check them out. CBS, senior analyst, senior columnist, also an analyst on CBS HQ.
Thank you, Pete. We love you.
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And now for something completely different. Okay, we are here in Stu Finer's basement.

We come every summer.

We're a little late today.

The pool was 89 degrees.

Yes.

Disgusting.

I'm sorry.

It was off-brand.

Yes.

It was a hot tub.

I apologize.

No, I humbly apologize.

Yeah.

88 is what we expect, and it didn't happen.

What are you going to say?

Just try.

Try and talk.

Talk in the mic.

All right.

So, Stu, we are going to do NFL futures, win totals, anything you want. I honestly want you to just brain dump because you have all of them.
I only have a couple bets, which we've talked about, but we can rehash them. But I want to hear what you have to say.
Okay, I'm blind as the bats. I put on my glasses.
All right, so this is what I have. Let's just go.
First of all, why don't we do this? Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Explain your system. Well, no.
Explain his power ratings. I want to know the Stu Finer power ratings.
Basically, my power ratings is basically when I take a shit. Yep.
And if I wipe clean and my ass is not itchy, then I go with just the eye test. If my ass is itchy and I have to use dude wipes and I have to rub one out, then I go stats.
What happened? I saw you on the Dave Portnoy show. You said that this is the year you're going to just be clean with everything.
You're not going to get gross. Believe nothing what you hear.
Are you fucking kidding me? I saw i saw that listen who's watching that show to have you and hannah and tommy and dave talk about football no they want to see me act like a fucking scumbag and asshole a psycho i don't disagree i want to go in the fucking gutter you you go in there and i love you throw up the show day one i'm just asking you because you said it okay i said i no go oh well you can't you can't get kicked off thank you Thank you. I mean, you off the show day one.
I'm just asking you because you said it. Okay.
I said I would.

No.

Oh, well, thank you.

You can't get kicked off the show.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I mean, you are the show.

You are the show.

And you also, I mean, you've done many things that anyone else would have been fired, but

you won't.

True.

All right.

Back to your system.

Yes.

Give us the actual stew finder.

How did you come up with these numbers?

Because you actually have, I'm looking at your sheet.

You have records for every team.

Truth be told, I'm into pro football like i've never been into it this year whoa i think there's such a disparity between great teams and horseshit teams oh so i think that 19 of the teams in the nfl blow dick they're fucking horrible they have no shot of winning any games at all now i'm not saying against the spread because you know me i'm traditionally an underdog player and there's only value betting the underdogs but i think the good teams are going to be phenomenal and the bad teams are going to be horrific so i really wanted to look at the nfl break it down and i feel i have a good scope of what's going to go on i think i'm going to win the super bowl i'm going to win the championships i'm just going to fucking sweep so the So the underdogs that you have, you talk about loving underdogs. Yes.
You always take underdogs. Because there's no value taking the favorite.
The odds maker never needs to give you value on the favorite. Right.
So the only time you're ever going to get, not saying it's going to win, but the only time you're ever getting value is betting an underdog. So does that carry over to bad teams taking the overs on teams that have the low win total?

No.

Not at all?

No.

Because you think that the dog shit teams are actually worse than they're being made after they.

I've never seen so many bad teams.

Okay.

All right.

So let's do this.

Yes.

Give us the 19 dog shit teams.

Could you have them in order from the whatever it would be, the 19?

No.

Okay. So wait.
Here. Here.
Yeah. We're going to go.
We can do this. I actually did this.
No, no, the 13th worst team? I have the Detroit Lions going 1-15. Okay.
No, that's not going to happen because we're playing 17 games now. Oh, excuse me.
No, 1-16. Excuse me.
I'm so sorry. 1-16.
Wait, who are they beating? They're going to beat the Eagles. Who are they beating? I don't know.
Okay. I don't know.
But you know but you will know when the time comes right I'm gonna be rooting against them every fucking game for the rest of my life because of Tom Kennedy absolutely I hate that what if he's on the team oh then it changes then they'll probably go 7-10 okay but he's not on the team right now so fuck them where they breathe this scumbag so the ceiling is 7-10 yeah I mean it's mean, it's predicated on that. His roar is 7.
Yes. It's predicated.

Yeah, I got it.

All right.

I got the Texans at 2-15.

Okay.

I have the Bears at 4-13.

I think they're going to be a little bit better than that, but it's not far.

I got the Giants at 4-13.

Okay.

I got the Washington football team at 5-12. That's good.
What about the Commanders? I still have them. Yeah, 5-12.
Don't get fresh with him. I have the Jets at 6-11.
I have... I have...
Let's see. After 6-11, then we move to to Do you need help? You want me to hold it? I can start naming I got the Steelers 7 and 10 Okay Cap I'm with Hank on that one I like their over I think they're set at 7 and a half Wins this year I got the Saints at 8 and 9 That's wrong I think the Saints might actually I wouldn't hate I'm going I think the Saints might actually...
I wouldn't hate...

I'm going to look at the odds right now.

I wouldn't hate the Saints to win the NFC South.

And everyone else goes into the...

So it wasn't even close to 19 teams.

Well, I mean, they suck.

Well, you didn't mention the Panthers.

Do you like the Panthers?

Yeah, I love the Panthers.

I gave the Pan...

Wait, hold it.

Wait a second.

I don't think you said the Seahawks either.

The Seahawks are going to suck.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I might have missed that. Seahawks are dog-shamed.
Hold it. Hold it.
I'm sorry. They'll be fun bad, though, because they have Gio Smith.
I have the Seahawks at 5-12. Excuse me.
I'm so sorry. There's another bad team.
I'm so sorry. Wait, now.
Hold it. Wait.
What did you – the Panthers, I have 10-7. Wow.
I think they're going to be great. That's great.
Well, 10-7 for the fucking Panthers. Yeah, that is great.
I mean, it's great. I mean, they're winning every game going into the fourth quarter, and then they're self-destruct.
You know, McCafferty is having an injury, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you say his name again? McCafferty.
Chubba. Chubba.
McCafferty. All right.
So wait, McCafferty, whatever it is. All right.
So now, AFC, I got Bills at 13 and4. I got the Dolphins at 11-6.
I think they're going to be amazing. They'll make a wild card.
Patriots 10-7. They're not making the playoffs.
Okay. AFC North.
Wait, wait. What if they pick up Tim Kennedy? Everything changes predicated on Tom Kennedy.
Okay. If they get Tom Kennedy, they win the Super Bowl.
Okay. I mean, Patriots win the Super Bowl.
By the way, the Saints are plus 325 to win the NFC South. I don't hate that.
Also, by the way, you're going to want to watch this on YouTube just so you can see the system that Stu is. Saints are going to be a horrific team.
Go through each division. That's probably a better way to do it.
Saints are going to be a horrific. Okay, so again.
I apologize. All right, no problem.
AFC East, we got Bills 13-4. He did this.
Oh, okay. All right.
Well, let me just do it again. You didn't do the Jets yet.
AFC East. Bills 13-4 win the division and represent the AFC in the Super Bowl.
Wow. Love that.
Patriots 10-7 missed playoffs. Dolphins 11-6.
Wild Card Jets 6-11. Okay.
AFC North. Ravens 12-5 win the division.
Whoa. Bengals 11-6.
Wild Card 9-8 and Steelers 7-10. AFC South.
Colts 12-5 win the division. And that's the only wild card team in the AFC South.
Titans 11-6 miss playoffs because the tiebreakers. Texans will be 2-15.
And Jaguars 5-12. So wait, wait.
Walk me through your Titans logic there, because they were the one seed last year. You're not a believer in Ryan Tannehill, then? No, he's doing shit.
No, AJ Brown. I agree.
I haven't gotten better in the offseason. Ryan Tannehill, he might be the most overrated quarterback in the history of the NFL.
But here's... He sucks.
He's fucking horrible. I've been saying for years that Ryan Tannehill is a bad quarterback.
And even when he was good, I knew he was secretly bad. Here's the only thing with the Titans, though.
Mike Vrabel. Like, every time you think the Titans are going to have a bad year, it's Mike Vrabel's team and he somehow gets them to win these games that you don't expect.
I respect him. I love him.
They're going to suck. Okay.
All right. AFC.
11-6. Lose out to the playoffs in tiebreakers.
Well, I mean, a lot of people think they can win the Super Bowl. They can't.
All right, see. All right, I'll give you this after it's over.
Let me just roll through this, all right? So I didn't waste my time. Chargers 12-5 and win the division.
Broncos 11-6 and they're the wild card. Raiders 11-6 but lose the tiebreaker.
And Chiefs 10-7 do not make the playoffs.

Okay, so fuck the Chiefs.

They're the most overrated team ever.

They suck.

Wait, I got limited skills. Let's see the AFC real quick.

Yeah, all right.

Okay, I'm just looking at this.

I'm just trying to conceptualize everything.

Okay, got it.

All right.

Yeah, yeah.

So the Chiefs are missing the playoffs.

Missing the playoffs.

I actually don't hate your AFC West.

We were talking about it in the car today.

Like, everyone's talking about the AFC West being incredible because the quarterbacks are obviously incredible. But there's a chance if every team just beats each other up.
They can cancel each other. No team will be the one seed.
I don't think they're going to lose many games outside their division. Right, but if they all go 3-3 in the division, it'll be hard for them to get the one seed.
I think that's 80% of their losses will be within the division. Okay.
NFC East, I got the Eagles winning the division 12-5. Cowboys 11-6 getting the wild card.
I like that with the Eagles. Yeah, the Eagles.
So the Eagles are my Super Bowl pick. Listen, after everybody destroyed their coach for just laying it out and being very simplistic like a child, he's great.
He had them and i think they did a fabulous i i think sirianni he's i'm betting on him to win coach of the year this year listen he was great i mean people pissed on him like this guy's a joke this guy should be a pop one quarterback uh i mean head coach and all he did was have them and listen first half of the game they were in the game against tamp bay buccaneers i mean they were they were there until the second half they didn't cover i have i got a bad number on the eagles because I think they were They were in the game against Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I mean, they were.
They were there until the second half. They didn't cover.
I have the... I got a bad number on the Eagles because I think they were higher earlier in the offseason, but I have them 22-1 to win the Super Bowl.
They could win the Super Bowl. I don't think they will, but they could.
The only problem is... They're going to be a pinky team.
What? They're going to end up being a pinky team. Well, I mean, I would win like $200,000 if they won the Super Bowl, so maybe it's worth it.
To cut your finger off $200,000? No, it's not worth it. The tip? No, no.
That would have to be $5 million. You're worth $20 million now.
Why not the tip? Because money doesn't matter right now. No way.
In no lifetime. $5 million.
The pinky team would have to start 0-2 or 0-3, I think, is what we always decide. How about shave your eyebrows, shave your hair? No, it's the pinky bet, Stu.
That's rough. That's really rough.
It's bad when Stu is the voice of reason. Washington 5-12, Giants 4-13.
NFC North, Vikings winning the division, 12-5. Packers 11-6, getting the Wild Card Bears 4-13.
Okay, NFC North. Vikings winning the division.
Whoa. 12-5.
Packers 11-6. The Wild Heart, Cod Bears 4-13.
Lions, fuck you when you die. 1-15.
I hope you're fucking scumbags. I mean, 1-16, correct.
I put 1-15 on the sheet, but it's 1-16. NFC South.
Buccaneers 11-6. Only team to make the playoffs and the win the division.
Saints 8-9, Falcons 5-12, Panthers 10-7. NFC West, Rams, which is my Super Bowl pick to go back to back and to win.
They have the best team. They have the best quarterback.
If you remember, I said like two years ago, I said that their quarterback was the best quarterback ever and he's just on a shit team and you pissed on me. No, I didn't because I actually have had the long-standing take that Matthew Stafford's the Hall of Famer.
No, no, he is the Hall of Famer. He's amazing.
You're barking up the wrong tree. Right now, I make him the best quarterback in the NFL right now.
People look at me like, I'm crazy. I'm not crazy.
I'm not. He's the best.
This is like when Mike Francesca just reads off random numbers. I love this.
Rams3. Cardinals, 12-5.
Make the wild card. 49 is 9-8.
Seahawks, 5-12. So that's my list.
It's beautiful. These are great numbers that you put together.
That's my list in a nutshell. So I'm going to just do some quick math here.
Yes. So you've got 282 wins on the board on your schedule.
Right. So you're divided by 32 teams.
Right. Let's hope that hope that your math oh i don't know if my math works out i got i got 550 math in the sats i'm not i didn't get 800 i think you've got every team winning an average of nine games i don't know if that's possible yeah 17 games how many losses it just has to be equal losses everyone's nine and seven yeah no no but you added up all the wins.
No, everyone's 9-8, you mean. Everyone's 9-8.
I didn't add up all the losses. I just added the wins.
How much did I say? What did he say? Line 282? 282? Okay, one second. Alright, so Stu, while he adds up all the losses, give us your best bets, win totals, or Super Bowl, or division winners, whatever your best bets are.
I mean, Rams over 10.5 should be the biggest bet anyone's ever made in their life responsibly. Everything is responsible because gambling is for the rich to have fun and lose money.
That's the preface. But over 10 and a half on the Rams is stealing money, stealing cash.
I mean, why even talk about it? It's like stealing fucking money. Okay.
That's my number one play. You could take that to the bank.
Let's see the biggest disparity. Now, when you do those, do you look at their schedule? Of course.
I went through the whole schedule. So who are they playing? Well, I need the schedule.
They're playing the AFC West. That's pretty tough.
Well, listen, they might not lose to anyone. Okay.
They're that good. Bobby Wagner's going to make 50 tackles a game.
I mean, he's going to really plug the middle. Because if you remember correctly, the only time they lost is when you were able to run right up the middle.
Their linebacker sucked last year. Now you're going to have pressure on the quarterback, and now you have a swagger on the Rams where they're coming back as the Super Bowl champs, and I just think they're going to torch people.
All right, so Jake, how many wins did I have? 282. So Stu's got the league going 282 and 256.
Great year for the league. Awesome, great year for football.
Take the over for the league. Yeah, Exactly.
And then that's the disparity that the good teams are going to be great and everyone else is going to suck. Right, but you have a lot of good teams.
You know that actually can't happen. Of course it can't happen.
He's proving his point. I like it though.
I'm proving my point. Stu is a football fan.
He's like, I think that there's just so much winning out there. I think the Cardinals to go over 8.5 is stealing money.
I have no idea how it's 8.5. They're a great team.
They have a great organization. I don't know why people piss on them.
It's stealing money to go 8.5. They might have eight wins by the end of October and then just not win again.
Well, that's what they did last year, but I don't think that's going to happen this year. I really don't.
I really, really, really, really don't. Under six and a half of the Lions is stealing money.
They're going to win one game. Okay.
I mean, they're going to be so bad that they might be thrown out of the league. It's stealing money.
I would go under, under, under, under, under. Let's see.
What else is it? You had the Browns pretty high, didn't you? You had the Browns winning eight games or nine games. Let's see.
He's locked in. Yes.

Yes.

Locked in on his code.

Nine and a half.

This is like social network.

Don't talk to him.

He's coding.

Love Vikings over nine.

Love them.

Love.

I think Vikings is going to be phenomenal.

I actually agree with you there.

I think they're going to stun the world.

I think the Vikings will have like just not having Mike Zimmer be their coach. And he was was a good coach but he obviously like when you get to the point where you just tap out with the with like the talent you have on the team and they're not really playing free i mean not playing for you but like there was nothing new about the vikings for the last few years correct kevin o'connell i think the vikings will be dark horse to win the nfc north or i guess that wouldn't be a dark horse but I think they're going to win the NFC North.
I think they're going to make it to the championship Sunday. I like it.
Against the Eagles, the Eagles are going to fucking demolish them. You don't have the Rams there? Nope.
Reason being? I don't know. I just bet the Eagles because they had a good draft.
Okay. Okay.
I like over 9.5 for the Eagles, over 9.5 for the Ravens. I think those are also very, very rock solid bets.

9.5 feels kind of low for the Ravens, doesn't it?

Listen, I mean...

I like that, too.

They were so injured last year.

I mean, last year, first half of the year,

they were ready to win a Super Bowl.

It can't happen again.

And I actually think Justin Tucker is worth about three wins per year.

Yeah.

Right.

He never misses.

From 70, he can hit.

All right.

So, Stu, give us your other tips about the NFL season. The source.
You're going to go what? I'm going to go 60% this year. I'm going to go 61%.
And we hope Dave can hit over 30. Yep.
But I say he's probably going to have the worst year of his career. Okay.
I think that he's going to be so embarrassing. He's going to not even show.
Like, you know how he doesn't show up to the office like ever and i don't think he's gonna show up to sports devices i think jerry's gonna do my over under is dave misses five shows because of humiliation and embarrassment he's not gonna deal with it he's gonna be like hey i'm worth 500 million i'm not gonna embarrass myself on a show right jerry take it over jerry shit on the fucking shit while you're eating You know, just do it. Yeah.
Okay. What about the difference between week one and week two? Is there any value to be found in overreactions to how a team plays in week one where you can capitalize on that week two? This is what, of sports, how many years? Year five? Yeah.
Okay. So the first two years, I said, go slow in September where Dave and Dan said, you're a pussy.
We fired. And they did phenomenal the first two years.
Always fired. So what I did is I fired.
Now, I fire year three and year four. Week one, I went five and oh.
If you remember, I swept the board last year. You don't remember.
But I did. I did.
I absolutely did, including going eight and one in the playoffs to close the show out. So I had a good winning record on the show.
I went 5-0 in the playoffs that first wildcard round. Then I went 2-1 and 1-0.
But answer your question without just tooting my own horn, which I just fucking did because you heard I did, and I'm going to do it again. But I'm firing as hard as I can right out of the box because I.
Because I'm looking to build a bankroll immediately.

So forget about the slow and steady.

Now, obviously, guys, responsibly.

Gals, responsibly.

Gamblers, responsibly.

You want to post up as much money as you can

at Penn Entertainment responsibly.

Got it, got it.

Correct.

But what I'm asking, though, is, let's just say-

Week one to week two?

Hypothetically-

In reality, you got to be careful

because you have no idea what's going to go on week one. You really don't.
You really absolutely don't. I mean, like, let's just say week one.
Yes. Browns, Panthers are playing, right? Yes.
Let's say the Panthers win. They're going to be underdogs probably, right? I would assume.
But they cover the spread. They win even.
They win outright by, call it, 10 points. Do you think there's any value in the second week

to then fading what happened in

that first week? So you bet heavier

on the Browns the second week because

they're going to be undervalued after losing in week

one. No, they don't make that

much of a difference from week to week

from week one to week two. Now,

if some team sweeps week one, two,

three, four, and then they have a big matchup

in week five, they're going to be

overvalued. I'll take against them.

Okay. But not from

I'm going to be overvalued. I'll take against them.
Okay. But not from week one to week two.
There's no overreaction because people will go, oh, it's only one week. Gotcha.
And then even if they get hot, they'll be like, it's only two weeks. And even if they suck, they'll go, they got to get it together, new coach, new program, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
All right, so coach of the year, who do you got question thank you I'm looking at Stu's text messages because I'm trying to find the famous text message when he said if I give you one gift for the rest of your life wait wait wait why would you say the bills that's going to be very tough for them to win coach of the Year. Because the Rams just won the Super Bowl.
And usually Coach of the Year is their coaches that improve a lot. They only have them at 10.5 wins, though.
Right. Coach of the Year against the over-under.
That would go to the Rams. I would say to the Rams or Bills.
I mean, look, if the Bills sweep and get to the Super Bowl, he's going to win Coach of the Year. Yeah, I think that's fair.
There's no two ways about it. I mean, the fucking team hasn't been there.
And the narrative's already built in. And they should have beat the Chiefs last year.
That was one of the most epic fails ever. I mean, for, you know, for them just...
I mean, that was horrific. I mean, they had that game won.
Chiefs didn't win. Bills lost the game.
What about the Bengals? We were talking about the Bengals earlier today. I want the Bengals to be good, but there's a lot of Bengals trash in my head from, I don't know, 37 years of watching the Cincinnati Bengals that tells me, like, uh-oh, why are you betting on the Bengals? Well, Joe Burrow's great.
I mean, so throw all the Bengals bad. Should I throw all the Bengals out? Everything.
He's that great. He was great on LSU against the number.
He was great last year against the number. They didn't win the Super Bowl, but they did cover.
They covered every fucking week almost. I mean, he's phenomenal.
He's healthy. He's great.
He's great. He's great.
I just think that I don't know if they really showed up their offensive line. I just don't know if he's going to be able to just sustain getting annihilated again.
What did he get sacked? 52 times? I mean, he personally was responsible for taking them to the Super Bowl and with no offensive line. I've never seen it before.
He had no offensive line. Now, their defensive line was very underrated, and they put heavy pressure on the quarterback, which almost compensated.
But I think Joe Burrow is arguably second-best quarterback in football. All he does is cover.
Not only does he win, he covers. I mean, He's great.
He's fearless. He has ice in his veins.
So I was trying to look up the text message that you sent when the Saints beat the Bucs 38-3 and you gave me the Bucs. You said, if there's any gift I can give you for the rest of your life on my deathbed, it's the Bucs tonight minus three, and then they lost 38-3.
Correct. I couldn't find that text text message but I did find a text message from Thursday October 21st that just says all caps Alec Baldwin holy fuck I like that yeah and then I said what happened and you just said I'm bringing in a prop gun next advisors so that's Sue Finer I love listen did you see the interview on 2020 with Alec Baldwin? I didn't pull the trigger.
No, you did pull the trigger. You killed someone.
Yeah, you did. Whether you did or not.
I didn't pull the trigger. The gun just went off.
Alec, come on. You did.
Come on, buddy. I know he's from Massapequa.
And Billy Baldwin was in the sports advisor's business. His brother, did you know that? Oh, really? Yeah, in the 80s.
He was in the business. All right.
He was a handicap. He was like a, wasn't a handicap he was a salesman ah yeah all right so my last question rollback question promo code take yes qzips hoodies everything rhoback.com promo code take what is the greatest bet you've ever made what's the one that you think about you're like damn that was awesome the first year the dallas Cowboys won the Super Bowl when they crushed Buffalo 52-10, and it was at the Rose Bowl, they beat the San Francisco 49ers, and they were plus three and a half in Frisco.
And everyone's like, Joe Montana this, Joe Montana that. Are you kidding me? And the 49ers were legendary.
They were like epic. They were like betting against Michael Jordan.
Can't happen, won't happen. And Troy Aikman went went in there and jimmy johnson went in they fucking won and they pissed on them did you have money line or three and a half i had the cowboys that year to win a super bowl ah um i did not have them in that game but that but the game meant a quarter of a million dollars after one won in business for my company.
So in those days, I had between $40,000 to $200,000 per winning decision on the big game. So that's why I normally don't bet.
I don't need to bet. When people say you don't bet, well, if I win a big game, if I win the Super Bowl, I make a quarter of a million in business.
That's the same as betting, isn't it? You make money for your customers. But my single best bet would be Bill Parcells when he took over the Giants and he beat Tom Conflin and the Jaguars at home.
I had $100,000 bet on the game and I had $100,000 at 16 to 1 for the Jets to win the Super Bowl. And as a degenerate gambler, which I am, no issue about it, I'm a degenerate.
I I have no control the next week they played the Denver Broncos and all I had to do was bet 400,000 on Denver and all the offshore sports books at the time I was advertising them they would allow me to bet unlimited money like literally unlimited money because I was advertising them in my schedule that I sent 200,000 schedules out to everyone. And I was the reason that they were successful.
They were saying, they said to me, Stu, don't you want to hedge this? Because they were afraid the Jets were going to win. Right.
So they wanted me to hedge because they were exposed. No, Jets.
No, wait. Yeah, the Jets.
The Jets. Oh, that Bill Parcells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Parcells when he was the coach of the Jets.
Got it, got it. When he was, you know, with Curtis Martin and Vinny Testaverde, that team.
And then the following week, they went to Denver, opened up 3-0. Then it was 10-0.
I'm like, this is amazing. And then John Elway fucking threw a bomb to McCafferty on a third and 20 for 57 yards touchdown.
They scored 28 unanswered. That was my best bet of my life, that I bet.
Winning the Jets over the Jaguars, rolling into Denver,

saying I could make a million, 1.6,

and this is the 90s where it was real money.

Now it's not.

You got billionaires, you got trillionaires.

Then you make a million dollars.

That's more than Farmingdale made, the whole town.

So yeah, so that would be it. But my most impressive win ever was slitting the 49ers throw.
Okay. Yeah.
What about the worst bet you've ever made? We'll end with this. It wasn't a lot of money, but it was the worst bet I ever made.
My first Super Bowl. I've been to 17 in person.
My first Super Bowl in New Orleans. You took the Patriots.
I took the Patriots plus 13 and a half. And the Patriots that year.
Oh, you saw 13 and a half. You're like, Super Bowls.
They covered. Listen, I used the Bears nine straight weeks in a row.
And I used them against. I used Miami.
I caught Miami over Chicago. It was a Monday night.
And then I won every game going down the stretch. And I think there was two weeks between the Super Bowl that year.
And I just kept looking at the Patriots going, they covered 13 in a row. They covered their destiny, destiny, destiny.
And I bet the Patriots only for 5,000. And it was the single lowest moment of my life.
I'm sitting sitting there like I took my Bears shirt off at halftime and I bought a Patriot shirt like a fraud and I just sat there and they were singing the shuffling crew at half and there was I'm telling you if there was 100,000 people at the game 99,000 for the Bears like I'm the only idiot who had the Patriots you know besides people in New in New England that, you know, it was horrific. It was so low.
But listen, the memorable losses are memorable losses. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah. No, no two ways about it.
Yeah. I mean, I would say the second most, because I had so much money, I probably almost had 300,000 in gross businesses if I won, is when Russell Wilson threw the interception.

Oh!

That was just like

I mean, still to this

day, I just don't

understand what went down. You thought it was a win.

It was basically a win.

And people don't talk about the catches on that drive

because that drive that he had going down the field

was a curse. Incredible.

You saw Brady. After that catch, Brady looked down and just was like, I can't believe this happened to me again.
I can't believe this happened to me again. But that was there.
Yeah, that was. Can you still believe that? No.
No. I mean, every time I see the highlight, it's just pure bliss, pure joy.
I mean, you went from... It was quite literally the greatest side of my life.

You went from hell to heaven.

It's like the quick...

Like, there's no way.

No, it's quick.

You were just...

You had your bags leaving the stadium, right?

You were leaving, right?

It was like, I can't believe we're going to get screwed again.

It was...

If I had to pick top three nights of my life,

that's probably number one.

Well, Stu, what's the worst beat that you've ever had?

One that was in the bag, and then all of a sudden it turns probably that one

it's probably matt ryan like he threw like he threw so many interception touchdown i mean

interception going the other way pick sixes at the end of games for some reason i bet on the

falcons a lot they beat me a lot yeah we pick sixes but you like matt games. For some reason, I bet on the Falcons a lot.
They beat me a lot with pick sixes.

But you like Matt Ryan now.

You like the Colts, right?

You said you had the Colts win the division.

I love Matt Ryan.

I think he's a phenomenal quarterback.

But just for some reason,

the Falcons just never can put it together,

really defensively, on the defensive end.

So he was always pressured,

that he always had to come from behind.

And he would, listen, inside the 20s, he might be the best quarterback in the history of the NFL, just for some reason when he gets inside that 10. He just doesn't.
Red zone offense. He's a pathetic red zone offense quarterback.
All right, so Stu, the source. Yes, sir.
Thank you for being the host. It's an honor.
As always. Thanks for coming.
Barstool Sports Advisors. So we're going to run this next week.
So Barstool Sports Advisors will be back on Friday night. As I'm saying this.
Very nice. When does this podcast drop? Wednesday.
Two days before Sports Advisors. Two days before Sports Advisors.
All right. Perfect.
Because I'm back in action with the podcast. I'm coming back with my podcast.
Oh. Open it.
Yes. Plug it.
I'm going to have the podcast. What's it called? I might change the name of it.
So right now, tentatively, I don't know the name that I'm going to launch.

But I'm going to launch.

So if you're launching Wednesday, I'll launch Wednesday morning.

What are you thinking?

Only Stu.

Okay.

Only Stu in the gutter.

If I fucked your girl, she'd know what she's been missing.

So it's one of those.

Okay.

What about the last one?

Only Fines.

Only Fines.

Yeah.

I like that too. I like that.
But the podcast will be. If you're launching Wednesday night, I'm going to launch my podcast Wednesday morning.
Perfect. So I'm back in action.
We launched Wednesday morning. Okay, so I'll launch Tuesday night.
We're kind of late Tuesday night. All right, so I'll go Tuesday morning.
Stu, before we go... Well, no, actually, that week, we will have a show Tuesday as well.
Well, you know what I'll do? I'll go Monday. We have...
I might launch tonight. I might not have five cups of Starbucks French roast.
I feel like, you know, I snored in April. Stu, before we go...
Yes, yes. Get over to BeLikeStu.com for my shout-outs, bud.
Coming out on Wednesday. Shout-out Stu Fine to BeLikeStu.com.
Stu.com. He doesn't...
No, just so everyone understands he invented Cameo. You don't do Cameos.
You do shout-outs on BeLikeStu.com. I don't even know what you're saying right now.
Yeah, right. It's only Stu Fine is Shoutouts.
You know what I'm saying? Stu Fine is Shoutouts. Okay, all right, all right.
One last, last thing because it's coming out Wednesday. Tomorrow night.
Did you say Caramels? I love Caramels. Tomorrow night, we've got NFL season kicking off.
Bills, Rams, Buffalo minus two and a half. That's the spread.
Over under 52. I've been saying the over since they announced the game.
You're a scumbag if you don't bet this over. You have to bet the over.
I've been saying ever since they said this is the opening night, I said I'm taking the over no matter what. Wait, wait.
So this is the Thursday night game. Yeah.
Thursday night kickoff. Bills are home.
Rams are home. Rams are home.
You love the Rams. You love the Bills, too.

Wait, wait. Wait.

Stu, this is your Super Bowl.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's going to be the first game

and the last game of the Super Bowl.

Rams are home.

And what's the line?

They are plus two and a half.

Yeah.

Buffalo is favored,

minus two and a half.

Right.

The over-under is set at 52.

Wow.

Very exciting.

So what do you have?

Well, you got to go to stufiner.com.

I mean, I have no idea. Yeah.
Stupiner.com i mean i mean that away i mean i have no idea yeah like and just just so you know just the reason is the reason is like obviously you guys are giving picks for free and and people bet your opinion heavy you know that they shouldn't you're well respected you're well versed you're well loved but they're not paying you people who pay me and then and I release a game and then all of a sudden there's a key injury or something they hate me the hate is great they're like Stu I don't need to pay you and you don't know what's going on so that's why I don't ever want to look like a fraud I don't want to ever look like I'm you know giving information just throwing throwing a dot. So I would have to wait

until the latest up-to-date information

because it's going to be probably

a $30,000 to $50,000 decision

if I win that game.

Okay, so just look at me.

You don't have to say anything.

Yes.

I'm going to bet the over.

Right.

Is that a good idea?

You don't have to say anything.

You can just use your head.

I don't know.

Yeah, he's not going to give it.

I know, but I...

No, no, because I actually have no idea. Right.
I really have no idea. I got to wait for the late line moves.
I got to wait for the biggest syndicates in the world that move hundreds of millions of dollars late on the game. And my premise is that the strongest syndicates in the world are smarter than everyone else.
So I would like to tell them. Not me, I'm betting the over on this game.
I'm smarter than... Well, you're locking in already.
You like the over. I locked in in May.
Because you enjoy the over. Yeah.
Listen, when you bet the under, there's no joy in Joyville. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
There's no, you literally, any time I bet an under on a baseball, football, it's a nightmare. There's no fun in gambling when you do that.
At least when you bet the over, it's fun because you could always win.

Last minute, you could always win.

Overtime, anything, whatever it is.

Except in London.

In the London games, we always take the lunder.

That's just a policy that we have.

I like it.

The grass is thicker and softer.

I like it.

All right, Stu, you're the best.

I love you.

We love you.

Thank you so much.

Very grateful.

Never take it for granted of your hospitality.

It means the world.

Thank you.

No, you're the best.

Love you guys.

I love you.

You're the best.

Thank you, Stu.

Thank you. Even though the pool was love you.
You're the best. Thank you.
Thank you.

Even though the pool was hot.

Okay.

It was 89.

It's too fine.

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And now, Guys on Chicks. Okay, let's wrap up the show with Guys on Chicks, the return, because Mount Rushmore season is officially over.
Guys on Chicks, and then, of course, we'll be taping after Thursday Night Football for Friday's show. Very excited.
Football's all the way back. Huge back.
It's big time back. So excited.
Okay, Guys on Chicks. Hank.
Yo. Hey, Big Cat, PFT, Billy, Jake, and Franny.
My boyfriend is 24 and balding, but he refuses to do anything about it. He says it's because I am so tall that nobody will see it.
He's 6'6", but he acts like I'll never see the top of his head. I hate bald guys.
How do I convince him to treat it before it's too late? Sounds like it might already be too late. Yeah.
It's a good spin zone he has, though. Buy him some plugs if you're 6'6 yeah i mean we've said it on the show become a wig guy the toupee would be great i yeah that's um i don't know the 6'6 thing i kind of side with him yeah like if you're that tall no one's gonna really see the top of your head i think it's it's more of a is he like larry david bald going balding larry david's really the last person that went bald that just said fuck it i'm just gonna do the male pattern baldness right and just own that for the rest of my life right it would look weird imagine how weird larry david would look if he shaved his head one day or if he had full hair that's true that would be weird as well yeah i think i think 6'6", and just wear a hat.
Get a lot of cool hats.

Also, what the fuck?

This woman is like, I don't like bald people.

One of us in this room is definitely going to go bald.

I'm definitely going to go bald.

You are?

Yeah.

I don't know.

People always say like, oh, your hairline's receding, but my grandfather on my mom's side died with a full head of hair.

I'm hoping, knock on wood.

I might go bald.

You might go bald? I don't know. I wear a hat all the time.
My hair recedes a little bit. What about your mom's father? I don't know.
Never knew him. God damn it.
It'd be funny if we all went bald. Yeah.
I mean, I saw the picture of the elevator afterwards. He was pretty bald.
Maybe the elevator just knocked it off. Yeah.
Fuck. A bald part of my take would be very funny.
If you meet a guy that's your age and no red flags, 10 out of 10, but he has a kid, what would you do? I'm 24, by the way. Oh.
Oh, if I did or if, like, as a female. Well, this is.
Yeah, this guy's on chicks. As a female.
I mean. Make a great mom.
That's what I would say. I think you have to listen to your body.
24 is early. 24 is definitely early.
If you start spontaneously lactating when you meet a guy with a kid, then I think you're now that kid's mom. If he's perfect, come on.
If he's perfect, maybe the kid's cool. You got to get the kid's vibes.
You got to hang out with the kid, see if the kid's got cool vibes. If the kid sucks, the kid sucks then forget it right what if the kid's like seven you'll know the vibes right away i think most seven-year-olds have bad vibes no you see what do you think the worst age for vibes is oh it's got to be like tween 10 and 13 yeah it's got to be the puberty yeah it's like 13 terrible vibes 12 12 to 14 ish like right around that where they like what's going on with my body yeah that's bad vibes what are you gonna say billy check the car facts with the baby mama try to maybe see if that's a situation yeah that's actually a big situation that's a good point billy like you don't that could you know it's it's kind of like uh like you don't want to like bother like a bird's nest when there's babies there like if you start getting involved are you gonna get attacked but at the same time a good indication of whether or not a guy is a good person to see is like how he treats his mom maybe it's the same way like if he treats his baby mom with enough respect but not too much respect there's just like that goldilocks

zone right there yeah they can't be too close but they have to be on good terms yes or you can just

steal his kid and then he's locked up for you he has to date you at that point hello big cat pft

jake liam memes and boss man hank my boyfriend and i have been dating for two years every time

he comes over to my parents house he has to play nca NCAA Football 13 on the Xbox they keep in the basement. The thing is, he doesn't just play one game.
He plays for four hours every day. He is so set on winning the championship in Heisman, he barely talks to anyone.
I've even tried playing it with him, and one time I even won. How do I get him to stop playing for the majority of our trip there? Thanks.
All right. I mean, this all comes down to whether whose Xbox is it? It's her parents.
They keep it in the basement. Right.
I think then that's cool because the dad obviously plays, right? Or it was like a brother or something. They have a setup.
They just don't. It's like the best sports game of all time.
Really, the only way to get around this is to buy him his own coffee and keep at your house correct that he can play whenever and just know that for the first three four weeks of having that in your house he's going to ignore you completely and he's just going to play that game but then it doesn't become as special of a thing when he goes to visit your parents so he won't want to do it the entire time that he's yes Yes. That's the only way you just got to beat it out of him.
Yes. Also, if you really want to beat it out of him, just like constantly tell him that he's rigging the sliders and you don't believe him even when he shows it and just make him not want to play anymore.
Sound. This one, it says, I don't know where the first text is, but it says child's still not here.
So appears high likelihood that we will be delivering this weekend. After Florida's big win, he's also nervous about missing Florida versus Kentucky.
What's the proper protocol for watching football during labor? I vote no because I'll be busy, and he says we will just be sitting around. I think it's pretty much whatever you want it to be, but just know that he's going to cheat and absolutely look on his phone.

Yeah, I mean, I watched WNBA.

I lost.

Can't miss that.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, Glennie gave me some picks, and I lost.

I think I went 0-2, maybe 0-4 on the day my son was born.

It was like the WNBA day games that they play for the camps.

So there's usually – no, there's not. The delivery rooms i don't think have they i think they have tvs so i think he'll be okay he can he can just look in the in the corner and just kind of be there and you know that is a big game kentucky florida is a big game like if it was florida verse you know the sisters of the poor i'd be like yeah forget it man it's the birth your child.
But Kentucky-Florida is a big game. That's a big game.
Just get it out early. Billy sometimes gets the George W.
Bush really concerned face whenever he has something to say. Not George W.
Bush. The Will Ferrell doing George W.
Bush. That's how pronounced it is.
Yeah, it looks like Jake just whispered something dangerous into his ear and he's trying to trying to figure it out what's going on billy no i'm just wondering what as a father what do you do as a dad in the delivery room you just stay north of the wall that's all you got to do stay north of the wall you you definitely trying to get in the mix billy billy would definitely be like i'm on hand steam yeah hey doc you need some help here yeah i got this i read a study yeah you actually just need to hear here's the good news billy would just say set hut here's the good news besides the whole like lack of sleep thing football season is actually not a bad time to have a baby because when they're very young when they're like first six months they don't do anything so you can just sit on the couch like you can be actively watching the, and they can just be sitting next to you while you watch football.

So that's the good news about the child coming in in the fall.

True.

All right, last one.

There's a guys on guys, but it's a bit of a red flag, so I'll read it.

Uh-oh.

My girlfriend will take random pictures of my butt.

I thought at first this was funny, so I played along.

But when looking over her shoulder,

it appears she has a group chat on her phone with her friend's name, her phone with her friends named David's, my name, peach ass emoji.

So I checked her phone,

and indeed she has been sending these pictures of my butt

to her friends.

The weirdest part is most of the time

her friends don't even react to these pictures,

but there's an occasional looking good today or nice butt.

Discovered this about two weeks ago

and feel awkward now whenever her friends are over at our apartment. Wondering how I should approach this situation.
I don't necessarily like the fact she is sending them, but I am not completely against it. Do her friends like my butt? Okay, so he definitely has a donk.
That's for sure. But I feel like this is one of those situations where all the friends are like, enough about your boyfriend's butt.
Like, how much can you brag about? Imagine a group chat with all these girls and be like, yeah, my boyfriend's got 12 inches. And then just being like every day, yeah, another 12 inches last night.
It was awesome. I feel like.
They hate it. They hate it.
You can just say it. The butt, it was probably cool the first couple times I saw it.
But then they're just like, this is Laura's boyfriend's hairy ass or whatever your name is. So what you need to do is when they're over, they definitely are on your side that it's weird.
Only your girlfriend thinks this is cool anymore. So when they're over, you need to be like, hey, ladies, you want to see my butt in real life? And then just break the ice and have it be just mortifying for your girlfriend.
She'll probably break up with you. She'll probably hate you.
But it's her fault. It's her more butt pics.
Now, is this a situation where everybody else in the group has their own side chat for their boyfriend's ass? It doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he's the- Strictly dedicated to you? He is the prize peach.
This sounds like whatever the female equivalent of- To have a photographable ass as a guy is. It's hard to do.
Yeah, it's really fucking dragging along. It almost sounds like this is what like the female equivalent of losing a fantasy football league is like you have to start up as your punishment.
You have to start a group chat with just pictures of your boyfriend's ass. Yeah.
And send us updates every day. No, this was definitely one of them said like, oh, your boyfriend's got a big butt.
It's so cute. And then she started it and like, ha ha, that was funny for a couple times.
Now they're just sick of it because you're just, your girlfriend is just running up the score on everyone. Yeah, and I feel like that's something you kind of joke about maybe when you're not dating or you're still talking in the early stages.
Like, oh, you're still talking to the guy with the huge ass. But like, once you're dating, it's like, all right.
That's your boyfriend boyfriend. Yeah, you don't share that shit anymore.
Is it a huge ass or is it a muscular ass? I think it's a big fat ass. Big fat ass.
We have an ass group chat, but it's just pictures of Hank that we send to each other. Remember when Billy used to update dump trucks? Oh, yeah, big dumpers.
You know, it's back. Oh, really? Nice.
You were about to say that. Yeah.
Yeah. It's back.
Big dumpers. Just dump trucks and asses.
I mean, I'm not going to say, Billy, that you missed out on that, but there is an account on Instagram that I think Glennie is a big fan of called just Tacos and Titties. And it's just a very, it goes tacos one day one day titties the next so we dump dumpers was big dumpers was oh it's gonna be gold there's one i fall called puppy melons and it's just a picture of a puppy and then yeah right this is very easy just run the same play i dump truck ass big dumpers actually got changed to big stumpers and it's just pictures of big stumps okay so that was the strategy behind that but you say that like you say it got changed uh like you algorithm change yeah like oh well someone got in the account and change it to this specific thing that only i care about and that's big stumps of logs yeah but i think we agreed to make it big stumps i don't think i it got changed Alright, I'm going to change it back.
Someone changed it. Wait, so big stumpers is just logs? It's big stumps.
Do you not understand like... It's just gigantic stumps.
Did you get the part of the dumps? The butt, though. We had the butts with the dumpers.
What do we have with the stumps? Well, we actually posted butts. Okay.
We posted just big, wide loads of trucks. Billy, I'm'm gonna defend you here in that you can keep doing big stumpers but it has to be a big like tree stump and then a big picture of someone's like amputated leg i'm down for that because that's always cool back to big dumpers what come on like you know when someone does like a shark tattoo on their leg yeah that's That's cut off.
There's usually one guy that's like chugging a beer out of his prosthetic leg. That's a perfect big stumpers.
Yeah. Do big stumpers.
That's got some legs. But it has to be.
No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.
Yeah, that's true. Well, it has one leg sometimes.
All right. Let's wrap up the show.
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Okay, numbers.

Hank, have you ever won this?

85.

I don't think so.

85.

Jake?

26.

5.

24.

56.

No whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy.

Oh. What is it?

It's hard to see. 30.

30.

30, 30.

30.

So close, Hank.

What was your number?

Five.

Oh, not that close.

Love you guys.

Sperm whales can make a clicking sound up to 200 decibels, which is about the same loudness as a rocket.

Or your mom.

Love you guys. I see you, girl.
Look, I want you.

Take a knee.

Take me, girl.

I see you, girl.

Look, I want you.

I'm talking away. I don't know what to say.
I'll say it anyway. Today is another day to find you shying away.
I'll be coming for your love again. Shying away.
I'll be coming for your love again. Needless to say.
I've got a sentence. But I'll be in some little way slowly learning that life is okay say up to me it's better to be safe than sorry say up to me it's better to be safe than sorry I've got me take me I've got Oh Take me out.
I need you.