CFB With Tom Fornelli, Mt Rushmore Of Italians And Football Guy Of The Week

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On today's Pardon My Take, football is all the way back. We recap a crazy five days of college football.
We have our good friend Tom Franelli on the show to recap some more football and talk about about the 12 team playoff we also have mount rushmore of italians to finish mount rushmore season tom and hank are teamed up great mount rushmore finale we have who's back of the week and the return of football guy of the week and is brought to you by our friends there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich. And when I want something perfectly crafted, I go straight to Boar's Head.
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Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then i can't blame all on the sun oh no we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we're gonna rock down to it's part of my take presented by barstool sports Part of My Take, presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. Go to the account tab to create a login and redeem code PMT for $20 off your first purchase.
Today is Tuesday, September 6th, and football is back. That was a great weekend, wasn't it? Oh, my God.
Starting on Thursday night, and didn't get a chance to wrap up the backyard brawl on Friday's part of my take, but that was, that was a hell of a way to get into a first full actual real weekend of football. It was, it was that game in the backyard brawl, which was amazing.
And then Penn, and then it like went seamlessly into Penn state Purdue fourth quarter. And it was just from that moment on, off and running, college football.
I don't know why. Like, we were talking about it before, how college football, it's so much fun.
Sundays do kind of, like, swallow up college football once NFL comes back. They should start college football season in fucking July.
Or just start it after the spring. It should be a spring sport now.
Dude, it was so fun watching just wall to wall college football my only my only critique of the entire weekend was and it's similar to whenever we have march madness and then you get to that monday and you're like what do i do now sunday afternoon i was just like give me give me a couple games like why can't houston and utsa play now yeah that game was great. There was nothing until it led into the LSU-FSU game, which I think everybody hates Brian Kelly now.
I mean. I think that's kind of where we're at.
Fire Brian Kelly. Yeah, we get into that with Tom a little bit.
I did look up his buyout, actually. What is it? So it's tough to say because you have to do some negotiations on his behalf because it wouldn't be the full amount of his contract which at this point would be like 90 million dollars left over you have to assume it'd be somewhere between like 75 and 85 million dollars right now to buy out brian kelly i say go for it go for right now you're just you're throwing good money after bad do you know what it takes one donor that's it takes one rich donor what if what if coach oh gives back his buyout and then we get two rich donors to match? The fact that it was in New Orleans in front of a crazy crowd, I think that they miked up the bands extra for that game, which every college game should be that because the bands and FSU trolling by playing neck all night, which was fucked up especially because you can't, like, if you win the game, then you can shove it back in their face but the fact that you lose on such a tragic extra point like, the whole, I mean the whole weekend it was, App State UNC was just the most incredible game to watch where that game, the fact that the UNC kid returned the onside kick for a touchdown and was actually a terrible, terrible play just shows you how crazy that game had gotten.
It was nuts. So App State scored 40 points in the fourth quarter of that game.
And they should have gotten that first two-point conversion where the receiver just kind of started backpedaling really fast. And people forget it's hard to run fast backwards.
You've got to turn around and run underneath that ball. And then on that kickoff, everybody was like, get down, get down.
No, he ran it back. Then they go back down the field.
I think everybody knew when you were watching UNC's weird zone defense that they play, they just take eight guys, tell them drop back 15, 20 yards, and then just stand perfectly still facing the quarterback. Do you know what it looked like? It looked like when you play Madden or college football video game and you play it on rookie or freshman.
And it's like this is so easy. Every pass is a 30-yard pass, and then every third is a touchdown.
It was like you're playing against the light blue traffic cones. Yeah.
weren't moving at all. Gene Chizik.
I don't even know. You have to fire him.
Do you? He probably has a buyout too. The fact that it happened.
And then the next day, Jackson State, shout out Dion. His kid is awesome.
He was 17 for 17 to start the game. But the fact that Jackson State shut down FAMU, is what Jack McGuire was calling him, FAMU, and UNC gave up 24 points to them.
It was like a double whammy that they had the App State game, and then the next day you get to watch a team actually play defense. I love watching old-ass Mack Brown have to dance after all these games.
Oh, it's so great. It is pretty good.
He's got a gut, too. He's got some moves.
Yeah, he's very hungry. The Argyle looks real smooth on an old guy trying to dance.
Yeah, I mean, it is like Carolina Blues, the best color in the game, and somehow Mack Brown makes it look not great. Yeah.
So, I was actually hanging out with Arian Foster this weekend and we were watching that game he was like you know i actually wanted to go to unc i had never watched him play never been on campus but i was willing to sign a letter of intent to go there just because of how cool their uniform no i i have a long-standing theory that at least 30 percent of unc alum and current students are there just because of the colors. Because that's how good the colors are.
Because when you pick a school, that's your color for life. You get to wear that forever.
If you're a UNC alum, you get to just wear Carolina blue polo every day. And everyone's like, what's up? It's like, oh, well, I went to Carolina.
It's fantastic. And yeah, that's how I chose my rugby team, too.
Was because they were light blue i was like i want to wear i want to wear it's sky blue great color yeah it's a great color i'm trying to think of i mean georgia was i i really still can't imagine what it must be like to be on the oregon sideline and be like we're this far away because that's really what it comes down to is like it wasn't just an asking it was a referendum on everything Oregon's been building where it's like yeah this is nice you guys have had Mario Cristobal put together some incredible recruiting classes like historically great Oregon recruiting classes and they're still that far away yeah it was it was like watching an NFL team play against a college team also Georgia might be better I'm kind of kind of thinking Stetson Bennett might be a pro, even though he's got the best team around him. He looked awesome.
So he did look good, but, I mean, he did have – Yeah, but he – It was different size people competing. Just put him on a really good NFL team.
There you go. Boom.
Put him on the Patriots. Then he'll be great.
So I feel like when I sat down and watched this game, I was like, okay, 17 is a lot of points. A lot of points.
That's a lot of points. Oregon, they're not that bad, right? 17 is a lot of points.
This lady next to me at the sports book in Lake Charles just leans over and says, honey, they're going to get shut out. Maybe allow a field goal.
Right off the bat. And I was like, oh, she just honeyed me.
And getting honeyed is, I think it's worse than getting buddied.

Yeah.

Or paled.

Although it's endearing a little bit.

Yeah, and in the South, it's different.

Oh, but no, it was a condescending honey.

It was a very, she was like, bless your heart.

They're not going to get three points.

But it's letting you down easy.

And she was right.

Yeah.

And it wasn't, it felt like it could have been worse.

That's the crazy part.

Easily.

It could have been worse.

Easily.

Like, it was, and again, Oregon's not a bad team. This isn't a team that – like, they will win, I don't know, seven, eight, nine games.
Like, they'll still be good in the Pac-12. They just – you can't be on the field with them.
We saw – we basically ripped off the Band-Aid and got to see the January 1st college football playoff game that's going to happen between Alabama or Georgia and whoever gets the four seed. Yeah.
Because that's exactly what's going to happen. I don't know what other team.
We're watching Clemson right now and their offense. They're the same team.
They've actually picked it up a little, but they're the same team as last year. That defense is incredible.
It's really good. But Georgia, like watching Georgia, they don't have any weaknesses.
I have a crazy thought. Their biggest weakness is their returning quarterback

that won them a national championship.

Right.

That's Georgia's biggest issue.

Yeah.

They're pretty good.

No one trusts where everyone's like,

someone's like, yes, Stetson Bennett, he's not very good.

Oh, he's not very good?

Okay.

What's the worst that could happen?

They could win another national title?

I don't know.

I mean, he did step up big in that game.

For Clemson, I have a question.

This is a very stupid question.

I know it doesn't work,

but I'm going to ask it anyway.

When you have that

good of a defensive line,

why not put a couple of them on an offensive

line? Because their O-line sucks.

Just be like, you guys are so

good. Just maybe play both sides

of the ball. I think you could do that if you said, just like, run

the ball. We're just going to run it.
Yeah, like,

you guys are such insane athletes

and you're so good at playing defensive

Thank you. good just maybe play both sides of the ball i think you could have you said just like run the ball i was gonna run it yeah like you guys are such insane athletes and you're so good at playing defensive line you can't be you you would probably be better than a bad offensive line right i think so yeah there are some teams that have done that in the past why not and have players play two ways yeah just be dabbo that actually would fit dabbo too where he like just gets guys he's, you're going to have to play every down.
Just our biggest, strongest guys are just going to be in the trenches. Yeah, no NIL money for you, but you have to play both sides of the ball.
You just get labeled as a trench guy. Yeah.
Not offense, not defense. Trenches.
We got the best trench team. You just do the trench.
There shouldn't be that big of a difference, but I feel like they put so much more time into making sure their defensive line and their tackles and their ends are like explosive and fast. Right.
And they just take their offensive line and they're like, okay, we're just going to get you fat. We're just going to get you as big as possible.
That's true. They do the offensive linemen.
I love always seeing like offensive linemen when they come as freshmen and they're like 230 pounds and yeah and then like a year and a half later with a weight program and food they're like 290 uh jumping back to stetson bennett real quick did we ever figure out is he does he have any siblings that are older than him i don't know like is he because it would be very funny if his dad who was stetson bennett the third i would imagine had a couple kids, a couple boys. He's like, no, not yet.
No, you're not Stetson. And then the third kid that came out, that's Stetson.
That's Stetson IV right there. He's the oldest of five children.
His brothers are Knox, Luke, and Maverick. That is so Southern.
Knox, Luke, and Maverick. I feel like the Stetson Bennett family just decided to keep having Stetson Bennett's until one fulfilled the destiny of becoming the Georgia national champion quarterback.
Yeah. Luke Bennett definitely.
He could be a nice over-the-middle type wide receiver. Really? I feel like Luke Bennett is the lawyer that gets Maverick Bennett out of all his hot water jams.
Well, Maverick Bennett is definitely the country music guy. And Knox and Luke are twins.
Oh, okay. Wait, it's Luke and who? Luke and Knox.
Maverick is the country music guy. And then, yeah, Luke.
Luke and Knox have definitely pulled the Eiffel Tower before. They've kissed.
You know what I'm saying? For sure. We know that.
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And whether whatever in Ariat Work Gear. The other thing I had from this weekend, it's so funny how quickly when football comes back, everything else like ceases to exist.
I think Dylan Cease for the White Sox had a no hitter, I think. Was it all the way to the ninth inning? And there was like, they were trying to flash the graphics on the ESPN bottom line.
It was like, who cares? Did he actually have one? No, he had one. He did not end up having a no-hitter.
I can't remember when he gave it up because I literally was like, football's on. I have to watch and see if Iowa can get another safety.
That's good because he's on my bench. I didn't start him.
That that's huge news. But it's just like it dawned on me like, oh, yeah, baseball is still going on.
I care again in October. Technically, baseball is going on.
But football is back. It takes everything.
All my mental energy just goes to football. Yeah, college football all day Friday, really, because I was spending all day Friday decompressing from what happened on Thursday night.

Right.

And then getting ready for the earlier games on Friday.

So that day was a wash.

Saturday, all day, forget about it.

And there's so many games going on on Saturday that you forget are even happening.

And then you get the live look in occasionally and you forget.

Oh, yeah, that's actually I totally forgot about UTEP Oklahoma during the game.

Oh, I didn't.

I had the double on that. Yeah, I was going to say I didn't forget about it because I had 43 plays, I think.
So that was too many. Oh, shout out Dana.
Yeah. Best friend, Dana Holgerson.
A lot of haters out there will be like, oh, classic Houston, not playing defense, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, 37, 35. No, no, no.
It went to what? Three overtimes? Three overtimes. Three overtimes.
So Dana, bad news for the rest of college football. Dana learned how to coach defense.
I also hate the new rule of the double. I know it was a new rule last year, but you have to go for two after the third overtime.
It was very confusing. On the third overtime.
Sucks. But yeah, Dana, I was watching that game.
Fucking loud as hell at UTSA. The worst basketball stadium in the world.
What is it called? Almodome? The Almodome. That place sucks to watch basketball.
Seems cool for football. Sucks to watch basketball.
Dana's mullet looks great, too. Yeah.
I do like how they're having the U.S. Open.
That gives you a little bit of sports in the week. Meaningful sports.
Actually, you know what? I like the U.S. Open being on TV right now.
Something big happens today. But But then I like it on TV because you can just laugh and be like, oh, yeah, ha-ha, what losers are watching the U.S.
Open right now? Well, what they keep doing is, because ESPN has the rights to it, they'll cut in in a time out of the football game being like, also, this is happening on ESPN, too. It's like, okay.
Jake Mush Serena Williams. That was nice of you, Jake.
Yeah, down goes the goat.

You went to go see her.

I can't wait to see the goat.

Yeah, I saw her doubles with Venus.

What did you think?

You mushed both of them.

Did you tweet thanks, Serena?

I think it said, what a career, something like that.

You didn't do the hashtag thanks, Serena?

I did not do the hashtag.

I did.

Did you get a hashtag?

Serena comes up with a goat.

It's pretty cool.

I did the hashtag thanks, Serena.

Did you get one of those giant balls?

No.

I got a do the hashtag. I did.
Did you get a hashtag? Serena comes up with a goat. It's pretty cool.
I did the hashtag. Thanks, Serena.
Did you get one of those giant balls? No, I got a honey deuce. What's that? It's a novelty drink there.
You would love it. A honey deuce.
Did you drink a water too? Of course. Oh, that was close.
Was it cool? How was the atmosphere? It was really, really cool. I think even if you're not a tennis fan, you guys would enjoy it.

But, again, we'll get to my who's back.

Huge upset today.

Oh, what?

That they didn't let Djokovic play in this tournament?

Nope.

There can't be upsets when the best player doesn't play.

No, there's a new guy.

It's a good story.

I'm a fan of this guy.

Okay, but there can't be upsets when the best player in the world doesn't play.

He's not allowed to play because he has freedom of choice. Is that his only crime? No.
A lot of open tournament now. Mm-hmm.
Okay. I'm trying to think what other games.
Florida. Oh, yeah.
Anthony Richardson. Hank, you deserve all the credit.
That was an electric, electric game. I love, too, that they were like, Utah might be struggling with the humidity right as they show a guy puking it's like yep that that could be the case utah

is still very very good it's just anthony richardson is he's the man people don't talk

people don't talk about the uh the altitude affecting you in the reverse order too yeah

if you come from a high elevation that air is just too thick clogs you all up you basically

choke on the air when you get down to the swamp and i just like cam rising because i just think of of boomer which is going to come back cam bad moon rising yeah um okay ohio state oh yeah i mean it was not it was not a great like exciting game because everyone expected ohio state to be fireworks um but we'll we'll talk about about it with Tom. We break down a bunch of stuff with Tom.
More college football talk, 12-game playoff, all that stuff, and Mount Rushmore of Italians. I actually think that Cincinnati's loss to Arkansas is better for Cincinnati.
It proved that they still kind of belong. You could say that they outplayed the Razorbacks.
Yeah, no. Yeah, they did.
Although I do like Arkansas's quarterback. That was the battle of the PMT recurring guests.
KJ Daniels. Yeah.
Who? Oh, Sam Pitman. Yeah.
And Pitman. Yeah.
Pitman's just the fucking man. They're both awesome.
I like both teams, but I feel like Cincinnati had a lot to lose coming out this year. Everyone was going to be like, oh, last year was a fluke, et cetera, et cetera.
I think they're still very good. I think that they're like a top 20 team.
They went down to Fayetteville and held their own, and they were in that game. All right, let's do who's back, and then we will talk some more college football with Tom Fernelli.
By the way, tomorrow we have a show. So Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday this week.
Tomorrow's show, Pete Prete prisco and stew finer i think it's the combined shortest guests we've ever had uh but we talk about nfl we're going to break down who we like wins losses all that stuff stew has quite the system um of over-unders and how he did the whole nfl betting season uh but before we get who's back, it is brought to you by our friends at Visible. Here we talk about the greats, great games, great plays, and great wireless.
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Hank, who is your who's back of the week? I have a couple. My first one, classic, shorts.
Yes, good call, Hank. Liv made huge shockwaves in the sporting news.
They came out and they said they're going to allow their players to play in shorts. Unless you're a woman.
Unless you're a woman. Probably.
And that has PGA players shook. They don't let the women drive off the tee either.
People joining Live now after this announcement. So shorts are back.
Shorts are back. Yeah, a lot of players.
I bet you're going to see a big influx. Vijay Singh's going to be like, wait, I can let the gams out? Shorts.orts That's why Phil did it My son made it the whole summer Without wearing shorts So he will not be joining the Live Tour Shout out to him Just every day No shorts Pants Not in a bathing suit? Nope I had to get him Like a swim Swim pants It's Listen I respect it It's the old Soprano line.
Don never wears shorts. He's just the boss of the family.
He doesn't wear shorts. I feel like Dons can wear shorts now, though.
I feel like things have really changed. That's a time capsule of the year 2005, 2006.
Now I think shorts are everyone's game. Do you know that that was actually a real thing that happened to James Gandolfini he got called in the middle of the night random number and the person was like hey I like what you're doing you're a great actor just so you know Adan never wears shorts I feel like no listen Adan never wears shorts Adan Also, just connecting some dots, though.
That video of Max Homa hitting the hole-in-one last week. In shorts.
In shorts. Asterix.
Hmm. Hmm.
Let me just say this. If Max Homa joins a Live Tour, I will never watch the Live Tour, and I will berate him constantly.
Brooks is fine. We expected Brooks to do it max i would say if they offer max over a hundred million dollars no i'm gonna say he's a money grabbing like that's bullshit over that yeah how can you how can you fucking face your your family all that shit uh my other brooks is just living his best life they just offer max like three great looking golden retrievers He's like, yeah, those are very cute thoughts.
He would forget to ask for money. He might.
He would be the worst lived player ever. He wouldn't even be rich.
My other who's back is Brendan Fraser. Yeah.
Oh, good. It's cons week.
There's a lot of cons drama. I don't know if anyone was going to talk about the Harry style situation.
What happened, Hank?

Let me get through Brendan first.

Okay.

It's Cannes Film Festival.

This is the classic.

Every time this happens, they do the standing ovations.

Every movie there, people get a 17-hour standing ovation.

It's always someone.

They always time it, too.

They always let you know, oh, they had the longest ovation ever.

But Brendan Fraser apparently plays a super fat guy who wears a fat suit, and it's like a very emotional movie. He's doing press.
He got the big standing ovation. He was crying, and then everyone is like, this is the, you know, his career is back.
Brendan Fraser's back. Hell, yes.
I love that. Was it ever gone, though, truly? Yeah.
He, like, me too'd, and they got canceled. Wait, he was.
Bren got me too. He he came out being like, I got.
He got harassed. Oh, did.
And then he got blacklisted. So he got blacklisted for somebody else.
I think he was blacklisted before because he wasn't a great actor. I think he's a great actor.
But people might not have thought he was a great actor. I mean, he got a standing ovation for seven minutes.
Yeah, no, he's back. And his movies are good.
Yeah, no, of course. He was like jacked before, but then he got super fat.
That kind of typecasting. Yeah.
That's bullshit. Yeah, it was like The Mummy 3 or something.
Didn't do well then the rock the rock tweeted no everything we've just said is completely guessed i'm pretty sure i'm right so let's see he got he got jerked off and then people were like no you can't be here anymore that's really fucked well it was like some harvey weinstein shit where i was like you got to do this or else i'm gonna like kill your career and he spoke yeah and then his career got killed so it was a guy named philip burke who was the head of the hollywood foreign press association they host the golden globes and burke like sexually assaulted him and then fraser brin fraser like said oh you tried to make a joke and he grabbed my ass and all this stuff. And then Burke,

I'm reading all this in real time right now,

so I'm probably getting most of it wrong.

Then Burke blacklisted Bryn Frazier afterwards.

But now Bryn Frazier's back,

getting stand ovations at cons

and probably future Oscar winner.

But did The Mummy 3 flop?

I don't know, but The Rock tweeted it.

He said, he supported me coming into his Mummy Returns franchise

for my first ever role,

which kicked off my Hollywood career.

So shout out to Bryn Frazier.

He gave us the chance. I don't know, but The Rock tweeted it.
He said, he supported me coming into his Mummy Returns franchise for my first ever role, which kicked off my Hollywood career.

So shout out to Brendan Fraser.

He gave us The Rock.

I just looked up Mummy 3, and the first people also ask is,

was the Mummy 3 a flop?

The film failed both critically and financially.

Shit.

I still love Brendan Fraser. If they make it to the third movie, you're already successful.

I still love him.

The Mummy 1 and the Mummy 2, were those flops? No. School times? Was Bedazzled with Elizabeth Hurley a flop? Probably not.
I saw it at least six times. Yeah, bonk.
Great bonk. I'll wear that bonk proudly.
Same. Encino Man? Great movie.
I'm just naming Brendan Fraser movies. Oh, George of the Jungle.
Yeah. The Bubble Boy, right? Wasn't he the Bubble Boy? Was he? I'm pretty sure he was the Bubble Boy.
I think he was... Was he the Bubble Boy? Yeah.
I thought that was someone else. You might be right.
Yeah, he might have been Bubble Boy. The Harry Styles...
No. The Harry Styles.
Jake Gyllenhaal was the Bubble Boy. Fuck.
Damn it. It should have been...
Wait, what was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What was it? What's Steve Nebraska? When he was the fucking pitcher. Oh, the natural, right? No, the natural's different.
It's another one of those one word. The scout.
The scout. The scout.
Yeah, I knew that. That's what I meant.
Yep. Airheads.
Dude, he came in in a helicopter and he pitched a perfect game and hit like five home runs. Didn't he pitch a perfect...
I think he only threw strikes. I think it was an immaculate game.
Yeah, it was. Yeah.
Dude, this guy's a legend. Fuck the guy who grabbed his ass.
Oh, wait. He's in Batgirl, too.
Yeah, he was the Penguin. Oh, really? He was the Penguin in Batgirl? Yeah.
Oh, no. Was he in Morbin? I'm not seeing anything.
All right. Well, I just want it on the record that we're a pro-B podcast.
Yeah. Come on the show.
And fuck that guy who grabbed his ass. If I ever see him, I'll spit on him.
I'm going to just like Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde. Chris Pine.
Chris Pratt. Yeah.
Pine Pine. John Pratt.
Chris Pratt. Chris Pine.
I am going to have to do a little bit more research into what the actual drama is

because it's one of those things where I knew that there was, like, tensions or whatever.

I don't know what the actual, like, tensions are between Olivia Wilde, who's the director,

Florence Pugh, who's the actress, Harry Styles.

There's some type of love triangle, controversy, co-star jealousy actor stuff that I, full hand up, I don't know.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the issues revolve around cocaine and sex. But then tonight.
It may be a card game. Tonight there was a video of Harry Styles walking back to his seat.
Chris Pryne is sitting next to him.. John Prine, Chris Pratt, Chris Pine.
And Harry Styles appears to spit on Chris Pine, who is taken aback, and it's just like, what's going on here? What is going on? Harry Styles is wearing maybe the most egregious collar that I've ever seen in my life. He's got two neckties.
Perfectly normal collar. Perfectly normal collar.
I did a new slant. I did a poll to to ask the people because I also don't know what's going on.
And I said, we'll just ride with whoever the people decide. And it was Harry Styles, 11%.
Chris Pine, 27%. Okay.
Where's the other? Aaron Rodgers in jail, 62%. Where's the voting? Do you think that they're just like trying to act bitchy towards each other? Like drum up publicity for this movie that I've never heard of before this moment? I like that you're staying woke about it, Billy.
Kind of like the Chris Rock slap. Will Smith thing? Yeah, you were proven to be correct about that, right? So wrong.
I don't know. Who knows? Okay.
They're all guilty. Does anyone know? What even is life? Here's my official takeaway on the situation.
This spits weird. They all kind of suck, and the new Harry Styles album is awesome.
Wait, wait, wait. I don't.
Harry Styles' music is awesome, and Chris Pine is awesome in Hell and High Water. So I like them both.
Oh, that's him in Hell and High Water. Yeah.
Oh, but Ben Foster's better in Hell and High Water. Final takeaway, Ben Foster, great actor.
They're both really good. Harry Styles, new album, kicks ass.
Also, Harry Styles, I guess, is a Packers fan, so I'm Chris Pine for life. I think we settled that.
That was PMT talking Hollywood. We nailed every part of the last 10 minutes of the podcast.
All right, PMT. My Who's Back in the Week is Big Ben.
Yeah. Ben Roethlisberger is back because he is hosting a podcast i did not think that was going to happen oh you mean the the guy the guy who created his own documentary no i mean big is there anything about big ben just bear with me here in his past where he would like go do a piece of media once a week every single week and talk about talk about himself and about his coaches.
Has he ever? Oh, yeah, his entire career he's been doing that. So now he's doing his own podcast.
It's called Footballin', which is a fun little Pittsburgh way to say footballin'. Nice.
Because Big Ben played in Pittsburgh for a long time. So he's going to be doing a podcast, and I'm sure that it's just going gonna devolve into him talking about various injuries it should just be him talking about i ranking the injuries that he's played through i really hope it's just like i wouldn't have made that throw just second guess that that pick six that mitch had i never would have thrown that i would have thrown it to the open guy for a touchdown i hope he he's questioning Mike Tomlin's play calling, but not this year.

I hope he's questioning it last year.

So everything that he calls for Mitch, he's like,

see now if Mike had opened up the playbook last year, we really could have had some fun out there.

There's definitely going to be a moment where Big Ben's podcast makes ESPN

bottom line, where he says something and then he has to retract it.

Yeah.

He's going to have to do some retraction.

What's up, guys?

This is Big Ben here brought to you by Roman Swipes.

No, no. This is National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
Very important time. Always wear a helmet.
That's going to be a muscle-listen podcast. We will definitely be doing a review of that podcast on this podcast.
All right. My Who's Back the week.
We should just, we should cut up big Ben on his podcast and then ask him questions and then just hit play and have him say the answers back to us. Yeah.
Big Ben out of context. We should definitely get it.
Yeah. Let's do that.
We'll have a super cut. My who's back the week is CM Punk.
Another thing that I'm going to have to look more into, but I'm just going gonna side with cm punk no matter what but uh his press conference like went super viral this weekend um big time drama in the aw essentially like it seems like there's locker room issues i also watched the press conference and i was like oh that that seemed like he kind of ripped into some people and then i saw an alternate angle and tony Tony Khan's just sitting next to him the whole time. Okay.
And it felt like CM Punk was kind of just shoving it in everyone's face, which that's why he's electric. That's why he's CM Punk.
Yeah, even when CM Punk is, even when he's just doing a work, he's actually being serious, right? Yeah. No, I...
He just kind of always, it's never what CM Punk says. it's always your reaction to it that changes I I still think CM Punk could show up on Monday Night Raw being like fuck you Vince like I've even when he was well gone from the WWE I was like no he's coming back now like he for sure is gonna come back so um but yeah it was uh I just what CM Punk is like one of the best to do it so i just i like whenever he speaks facts he's he's one of those guys that like if he's giving an impassioned speech you know that he's most likely right and also has thought it out well enough that it's like not just like out of nowhere that he's just pissed off that everyone he's a he's a big time uh person who will sit down and say the meanest, most honest things as calmly as possible.
Right. And the fact that he's so calm when he's saying these things about you makes you overreact to him, and then you look like the asshole.
It's a great skill set to have. Yes.
Billy. My who's back is Giselle.
So over the weekend, a little bit of a breaking story that then went back. But I don't know if Hank has any opinion on this, but Giselle and Tom Brady might have divorced, but not.
But got into a fight. It was weird.
I just saw an offhand headline on Friday. Cite your sources.
Was it a real headline? It was like a gossip magazine. Oh, no.
a gossip magazine apparently he went to the Bahamas or something and they may have gone to a huge fight and then Giselle may have flown off to Costa Rica whoa so they might be divorced now? I have no idea this is one of those gossipy things was he retired or not? are they still together? but it was kind of sad because Giselle and Tom Brady were like super power couple I think you have to take the box week one I think you have to take the box for the season because if we know anything about Tom Brady

he's like I'm gonna win her back by winning another Super Bowl he's gonna have a lot more

time to focus on football correct hmm I don't know I need to I need to wait this one out because at

some point he's probably also gonna get back with her the question is is he heartbroken and I don't

Thank you. Correct.
Hmm. I don't know.
I need to wait this one out. Because at some point, he's probably also going to get back with her.
The question is, is he heartbroken? And I don't... He's quote-unquote sad.
Okay, that's sad. But sad for Tom Brady is like, I'm just going to rip apart more defenses? Is he going...
But what if Tom Brady just gets slutty with it? Yeah. What if he has like a mid, mid, half midlife crisis? All right.
So let's just say that story developing on where we're going to gamble with this. But there's definitely a way you have to, you have to pick a lane on how this potential divorce could go.
I would just like to say, Giselle, I know you're a big AWL, come on the podcast and talk about your feelings. We'd love to help you through this very difficult part of your life.
I'd like to say Giselle, what PFT said right there, he's probably coming on a little too hard. If he's bothering you, just let me know, and I'll take care of it.
I'd also like to add to that that Big Cat, sometimes he tries to explain what I'm saying to you, but if it came across that way, it's not my intention at all.

But I just think that mental health should come first for you, Giselle.

So please, if you want to discuss

your emotions, your feelings,

if you just want to maybe go out for a quick drink,

talk about it,

come on, pardon my take. Yeah, Giselle.

And again, PFT, maybe getting a little out

of line there, but that's okay. You should definitely

come on, pardon my take.

I would love to talk to you. Also,

just throwing this out there, but that's okay. You should definitely come on.
Pardon my take.

I would love to talk to you.

Also, just throwing this out there, you are 5'11",

so you would be taller than PFT.

It'd be a nice change of pace.

Never a guy go down on you standing up.

All right.

That's a joke.

I'm not going to eat Giselle's pussy.

Bonk.

What gave it away, Billy?

My who's back of the week is American tennis.

We have a very big feel-good story in the U.S. Open.

So Francis Tiafoe, American, upsets Rafa Nadal today in the round of 16. And so here's his story.
His dad, well, first of all, his parents were immigrants from Sierra Leone. His dad was a construction worker who helped build a tennis center in Maryland, became the custodian, and that's how his son picked up tennis.
Wow. And now he just beat Rafa on the biggest stage.
He grew up living in a custodian's closet, like actually living and sleeping in there, a tennis facility. Now he beat Rafa.
Yeah. But he didn't beat Djokovic.
He did not. Okay.
That is a cool story. It is a cool story.
I think he'd be great on this show, especially if he wins tournament and uh what was his name again remember what you did the last guy that you brought up karius no he's still in it too um mcguery mcquery oh sam quarry yeah yeah it was the last match of his career yeah you ended that guy's career this time look he beat rafa okay tiafoe come on the podcast tiafoe let's And he's a big D.C. sports fan.
Brad Beal was in his box today. Wow.
He was in his player's box. Brad Beal was pumping his box.
LeBron tweeted about him, so baby Braun is back. He called him Young King.
Oh, there we go. Nice.
Right now I'm in. Yeah, he's the baby Braun of the week.
Yeah, so this is a great story. Tiafoe versus Kyrgios finals is what I'm hoping for.
Wow. That would be a lecture.
Kyrgios is fucking hilarious to watch. Kyrgios is humping the air today.
Hilarious to watch. He is funny.
Yeah. It was like the first, what is it, the first game, first set of the first, first.
Yeah. It was the very beginning of the game and he was like smashing his racket.
He beat number one yesterday. Yeah.
So number one and number two are down. Who's number one? It was Medvedev.
Oh, Medvedev? But it's actually Djokovic. Well, he's disqualified because he didn't get vaccinated.
Which is wrong. What? To disqualify him or to not get vaccinated? To disqualify for someone making a personal choice.
It's complete bullshit. Anyways, yeah.
Francis Tiafoe. Keep an eye on him this week.
Okay. That is a very a very cool story thank you jake because now you're pulling at my heartstrings is uh has has jeremy shapp done a like a really soft sad story about him yet i don't believe so when that happens forward it to me and i'll be all the way in tom rinaldi or jeremy shapp well tom rinaldi is not with them yeah but maybe he'll do one just because like tom Rinaldi's like a fucking fly to a light He sees someone go through some type of tragic hardship And he's like, I gotta fucking do a soft voice over this My prediction is that he will be drafted by an NFL team next year Just so that they can use the story during the draft coverage But no, Tiafoe's awesome I love how pure and innocent Jake is where he thought that like, oh yeah, yeah, he could be.
Yeah, he's a good athlete. He's drafted by NFL team.
Tiafoe, yeah, he plays tennis. Yeah, I would imagine like Tom Rinaldi, like imagine being Tom Rinaldi and meeting people and just like being like, oh, hey, how you doing? Where you from? And be like, so both your parents still alive tell me tell me about the hardest moment yeah uh any bouts with cancer or anything you want to tell me about like this young man overcame everything also this is the first time since 2003 federer nadal jokovic or serena are not in the okay grand slam quarter a huge asterisk a huge asterisk yeah federer is injured that's.
Oh, my God. Good point.
And Jake mushed Serena. Yeah, you killed Serena's career.
You ended two careers in this U.S. Open.
Incredible job by you. I was not at her last singles match.
I was at her last doubles match with her sister. Which was her last match.
That means that she's 0 for 2 since Jake has seen her. 0 for 1 after.
She lost the doubles the doubles match. Yeah, and she won a win.
Yeah. I'm just going to throw this out there.
0 for 2. Jake, the kiss of death.
I'd just like to call my shot real quick. She's not retired.
You think she's coming back? She is not retired. She is not retired.
Well, she's going to have a kid. And as we've all learned from her success at the Australian Open, that should actually be considered PEDs.
She wanted it while pregnant, right? It should be considered PEDs. I think, what was the explanation that we came up with? There's more blood, like her cycling.
She's not menstruating anymore. What was that dumb theory we came up with? No, it ended up being kind of right.
Yeah, no, it was. So since she doesn't menstruate, there's more high-density red blood cells circling through her body, which can carry the oxygen more efficiently.
And then like a week after we just made that up, some doctor was like, there's some truth to the fact that if you're just barely pregnant, that your body can operate on a better cardiovascular scale. Yeah.
So fuck yeah. She is not retired.
She's going to get pregnant and win another Open. Dude, the thing that I keep going back to, it's like Tiger, when people are like, oh, Tiger's retired.
You think Tiger will retire? You think he won't go to Augusta every year? You think Serena, like, she can just go to Wimbledon, have some fucking strawberries and cream? Here's the thing. With, like, golf, you're guaranteed 36 holes of golf.
Like, tennis, you can play at your 60 years old. You lose six love, six love.
And it's like, is it it worth it i think it still would be fucking cool for golf you get two full days but she was she can like she's gonna work herself back into shape where she's like oh yeah i'm ready to go she beat the number two right and so right you don't retire when you do that um all right let's get to tom fornelli and our mount rushmore of italians it is brought to you by our friends at Paramount Plus. Go to ParamountPlus.com to start your free trial and get access to your live local NFL on CBS game every Sunday as well as additional exclusive content.
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up to cable in terms of how fast it is i was watching everything streaming i did not feel

like i was behind paramount plus check it out now you can watch nfl on cbs paramountplus.com

the streaming has gotten incredible okay here he is tom franelli

okay we now welcome on our very good friend it is tom franelli we're going to talk some college

Thank you. here he is tom franelli okay we now welcome on our very good friend it is tom franelli we're going to talk some college football we're going to do a mount rushmore he's being teamed up with his nemesis hank tom can be found at cbs sports cover three podcast he's covering college football he is my favorite college football writer boom i just said it um I don't think Andy does writing anymore so I can say that yeah yeah I can say that um all right so week one crazy uh where do you want to start I mean should we just start with Iowa because that is the craziest story uh Iowa winning seven to three and not scoring a touchdown that's of everything that happened this weekend iowa is the one thing you want to talk about yes i do it was incredible they punted the same amount of times of first downs they had i saw the stat i included it in my column today since 2020 iowa has won six games in which it punted at least eight times the rest of the fbs combined has won two games like that where they punted at least eight times that's Iowa in a nutshell so Ference has got to be like fuck yes I'm so pumped to win a game like that right like he would rather win this game this way because he's won every type of football game that you can imagine given how long that he'sed at Iowa.
So if he finally gets one where he's got seven points,

didn't score an offensive touchdown.

And then that stat that you just threw out there,

that's gotta be like,

he's gotta be kind of happy.

I don't know if he's happy,

but he doesn't seem to give a shit about the offense being terrible.

So he goes,

it's been terrible for a few years.

And the fan base is essentially revolting against the offensive coordinator

who just happens to be his son, Brian that offense is just yeah they didn't score they had and they started like I can't remember how many but a few of their possessions they started in plus territory and they still couldn't get any points on the board outside of the one field goal with the two safeties it was just I think Spencer Petrus's QBR was a 1.1 and i saw from somebody that that's the lowest in the qbr era for a single game for an fbs quarterback it was just it really was a record-setting performance for the iowa hawkeyes it was so bad that i actually like i had to tune in because i didn't have that game on my radar and then i was like wait what the fuck is going on in here and like when it was five to three and i was just like wait i gotta tune into this and then getting that that that safety to make it seven is so beautiful all right so all jokes aside uh biggest takeaway from week one give it to me i think georgia is better than last year's team i think that like there was the concerns because the defense was last year was just you know it was one of the best defenses we've ever seen at the college level. They lose a bunch of players in the NFL, but they still have guys like Jalen Carter on the defensive line.
And just the way that they've recruited, you knew the defense was still going to be good. You saw Malachi Starks, a five-star freshman, make that one-handed interception on the deep ball.
And you're just quickly reminded early in that game that, holy shit, this defense is still nuts. It how many guys they lose they reload but the difference to me was the offense because they had um jermaine burton transfer he was like supposed to be their most explosive receiver george pickens was hurt last year for most of the season he's the big play threat he's with the steelers now jermaine burton transfers to alabama and you're thinking with stetson benedit quarterback like they still had Brock Bowers, but you were wondering where they were going to be explosive on offense.
You lose James Cook, you lose Demir White, you lose all these guys. And you're like, I just, they're still gonna be really good defensively, but offensively, will they, will they be able to maintain and be able to compete with the Alabamas and the Ohio States? And I mean, Oregon now has been clowned in three straight games against good teams.
Like it got clowned twice by Utah last year and it got absolutely obliterated by Georgia this weekend. But when you look at that team defensively, there are five star players on that defense.
They've got NFL players in that front seven. And Georgia just completely wiped them from the face of the earth and did every single thing they wanted to.
So I came into this season thinking Alabama and Ohio state, one of them is going to win the national title. Georgia will probably get to the playoff again, but they just don't have the offensive firepower to compete with Alabama and Ohio state, or at least beat them, beat both of them in a potential playoff scenario.
After what I saw on Saturday, I suddenly think that Georgia is probably right up there with those two. I'd not think it's three horse race not just Darnell Washington should be illegal oh my god I was shocked when I saw him step on the football field for the first time I was like it should be illegal to possess one of these in the United States because he's what six eight yeah he's like six seven six eight yeah and he's pretty much he's a defensive lineman playing tight end they have four tight ends that are just like they just roll them out and they just run over people.
You're like, wait, who's that guy? So I agree with you. This is why preseason rankings are so stupid.
Georgia won the national title, came out and beat a top 10 team, or I don't know, Oregon might have been 11, wiped them out. They should be number one.
My question on the flip side, though, how demoralizing must that be for Oregon? Because like you said, like Mario Cristobal was stacking serious recruiting classes, top 10 recruiting classes, and they get on the field with them, and they look like they're, you know, it was like Utah State playing Alabama. That's what it looked like.
Yeah, it's weird. It's hard to know exactly.
It is demoralizing if you're Oregon because, too, like you said, they got crushed that game. They got beat up by Utah twice last year, and that's a team that's like – it's weird because you think of the identity of Mario Cristobal and just the way he likes to play.
You see them getting punched in the face and not really responding, and it kind of raises an eyebrow because it's like that's supposed to be a team that wants to get in in there and wants to fight with you and they just look kind of soft in that aspect to be blunt about it and it was certainly the case again on saturday but even kirby smart said after the game because you know his former defensive coordinator is now the head coach there and dan lanning but he said he's like you know we've just got better players than they do which is like one way to be kind to your opponent but it's also low key kind of just like devastating a devastating thing to say well it's no big deal we just got better players in there that was just a scrimmage for us for the most part but it's i think if you're oregon you still take solace in the fact that you don't have to play georgia again and i think that the bigger story is not that oregon is bad it's that georgia alabama and ohio state have just descended to a level that is so much better than everybody else. That it's really not fair to judge any team based on what you see them do against those three.
So we're keeping Ohio State in that conversation. Even after.
I was actually impressed by them. The moral victory by Notre Dame.
I have a theory, Tom. I'll throw this out to you.
I actually thought that was exactly the game that Ohio State needed because the way they lost to Michigan last year was they got punched in the mouth, bullied. They needed to win a game where it wasn't a track meet, where they weren't just ripping off 80-yard touchdowns.
They needed to win a game where it's like, oh, we can play smash mouth. We can play play Grind It Out.
We can play Body Blow, Body Blow, Body Blow, finish the game out. Like, in a weird way, even though, you know, they didn't cover the spread, I was like, that showed that Ohio State can – because they'll win a ton of Big Ten games where they win by 60.
But that was like – I was like, oh, Ohio State, in a weird way, impressed me with the way they won. Yeah, and I mean, notre dame let's be clear notre dame played not to get blown out that was the entire game plan that the irish had they were milking as much clock as possible trying to limit possessions to that way in late in the game that they were thinking we just let the air out of the ball keep it close waste clock and at the end of the game we'll have a chance we'll still be in it we can see what we can do then so i think that notre dame executed its game plan very well defensively they're still a very good team and i think on the other side of the ball offensively yeah ohio state did not look like the ohio state we expected i was saying you know all preseason leading up to this game and all offseason like this is a team that's going to score 40 points per game the key is whether or not you can keep up and most people can't and they didn't do that obviously but it's like we dismiss Garrett Wilson and Chris Salave both leaving and being first round picks because they still have guys like Jackson Smith and Jigba they have Julian Fleming they have Marvin Harrison Jr they have Emeka Aguka but Julian Fleming was hurt Jackson Smith and Jigba gets hurt in the first series and doesn't really come back and he's ineffective when he's out there so now if you think about it this way Ohio State's playing without its top four receivers from last season going into this game against a team that's ranked number five and has a very good defense and they looked out of sync offensively until the second half when they finally got things going Emeka Buka kind of came forward as the alpha guy for CJ Stroud he got into rhythm they started figuring things out but like you were saying too for me philosophically one of the problems ryan day has had with ohio state is he just refuses to run the ball sometimes and there are times when ohio state is able to run the ball against the team and they just go away from it they get pass happy and it hurts them he didn't do that on saturday he knew that running the ball was his best option he kept feeding mind williams he kept feeding trevion Henderson.
And on the other side, the defense, that was what's really been missing from Ohio state. The last few years, Kerry Combs was basically, they ran two defenses like for the last two years, cover one or cover three.
That was really all you saw from Ohio state teams knew that. And their thought process was we're so good that it doesn't really matter what we do on defense.
Cause we're just more than most of the teams we were playing but when they would run into oregon or michigan in the snow teams that were able to exploit it because they had the talent and the speed to do so they got burnt so jim knowles comes in from oklahoma state's a new defensive coordinator and ohio state's doing all sorts of wild shit like you know zach harris and their pass rusher is dropping back into coverage on multiple plays i can't remember the last time I saw an Ohio State defensive lineman drop into coverage. They were just disguising things before the snap.
They were going up against a young quarterback, confusing the living shit out of him. He had no idea what he was seeing before the snap.
He had no idea what he was seeing after the snap. And that's the one thing I think that has kept Ohio State from really being a national title contender the last couple years, is we know they could score points.
It was just defensively when it mattered, they mattered they weren't there and last on saturday was the first time in a while that i saw an indicator that this team defensively is going to be good enough to compete for a title yeah and uh where we at on cj stroud i think he's i mean him and bryce young are the two best quarterbacks in the country i i think that they will be heisman finalists i think they will be in i think it's a slow start for stroud but by the time the year ends as long as everybody on that offense is healthy he's going to put up ridiculous numbers and the question is going to be does bryce young put up the kind of numbers to where people are willing to give it to him in back-to-back years and bryce young against utah state on saturday utah state a team that won the mountain west last year alabama beat them 55 to nothing and they took they you know they kind of just called off the dogs after a while it was 55 nothing quick and bryce young had over you know 200 something yards passing he rushed for 100 yards and that has always been a thing with me with bryce because he is so skinny but like he's always been hesitant to run at times where i feel like he could just easily pick up first downs and he'll sit in the pocket and you know maybe end up throwing the ball away and it's like bro if you just take off it's first down that was not the case against Utah State he took off running I do still kind of worry it's like I don't think he should run as often as he did on Saturday but he had so much room to move I don't think he was too worried about it but he's kind of adding that element to his game this year and if he does maybe that's the one thing that he needs to do to become the first back-to-back Heisman winner since Adrian Griffin I am I find myself for C.J. Stroud just so I can be like, Ohio State quarterbacks are good.
It's fucked up. But I'm literally like, I hope he's good.
Just so I'm going to be like, yes, Ian, and Justin Fields would be good because C.J. Stroud's good.
Yeah, that's how it works. It all works that way.
They come from the same system. Yeah, you can judge the products like that.
Well, sticking in the SEC real quick, you were talking about Bryce. Big game.
Big game happened the other night. I don't know if you saw it.
It was kind of a crazy one. What is Brian Kelly's buyout right now? Listen, LSU fans are nuts.
You guys know that just as well as anybody. They are going to be going crazy.
And that is, just to be clear, it's a weird cultural fit like it never it hasn't made sense to me but lsu's win total going into the season was seven like let's not it's like that is exactly what that team was supposed to be like florida state fans are feeling great after winning that game and they should be because that is just the kind of game florida state hasn't been able to win and frankly when lsu is coming back at end, that looked a little too familiar for Florida state fans. Cause there's been too many times as they've been in that situation and they blown it, but you know, block the extra point, win the game.
You feel great, but neither of those teams is very good. Like LSU is going to be seven and five, Florida state's going to be seven to five, maybe eight and four in the ACC.
So it's, it's, it's definitely not a great start for Mike Kelly. Cause it's like, it's one thing if you lose and you just get outplayed but they did i mean that was some like nebraska special teams level shit from last season just the two muffed punts the missed extra point the missed field goal just stupid stupid stuff and it's like if they don't get that wrapped up quickly and then you got the kayshawn booty deleting all the lsu stuff from his instagram account they got to get that figured out quicker it know, LSU.
They're not exactly – they don't wait around to pull a trigger if they don't want to. Well, in good news, Brian Kelly spent, you know, I don't know, 45 seconds of his post-game press conference bashing the kid who fumbled twice.
So, yeah, no, it will all go well. What I thought was the most interesting part about that was he was going out of his way to say, like, yeah, that kid blew it.
But ultimately, it's on us as coaches for not realizing how bad he was and then putting him back there. So that's on us for not recognizing.
He did a good job of tricking us into thinking he was good. It was pure Brian Kelly.
We're going to get back to Tom Fornelli in a second. Before we do, he's being brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage.
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I mean,

listen,

Tom,

you're very good at,

uh,

you know,

college football,

but Hank does have you beat.

Cause he had Anthony Richardson is his Heisman.

I don't know,

12 months ago.

So,

I mean,

that was an insane call.

He is,

he,

and I mean this in the best way.

Like he is such an awesome college quarterback. I, he could be a great pro too but that like two-point conversion pump fake that was college football you know what i mean like that was college football and that game was so electric so do you want to apologize to hank for you know being way behind on this i i just want to give hank all the credit for being smart enough and having the foresight to realize that we had something special in our midst and he recognized it before anybody else so kudos to him for doing it but anthony richardson is like he's got cult hero like potential just being the guy that every college football fan loves to watch like i saw there were comparisons being made on on twitter during that game like i saw people saying he He me of Vince Young he reminds me of Cam Newton and it's like all right let's let's pump the brakes a little bit there but I understand where it's coming from because like you said the plays that he was making and the stuff that he can do as a quarterback is just it's not something you see a lot of guys in the country capable of doing and he's not you know your prototypical NFLfl passer he's not going to sit there and just throw beautiful darts down the field and be look like you know trevor lawrence or justin fields or cj stroud or bryce young but he makes things happen he's and that's a very unique talent and it's not something you find a lot and he's the kind of guy that can elevate an entire team so this is a florida team that suddenly didn't really have high expectations and i also kind of worry like for billy napier it's his first game at florida first game you're at home you beat a top 10 team in utah like will that raise expectations too quickly for him and for richardson that would be something i'd be worried about but i also think that he's talented enough i mean it's not like he came from nowhere he's a five-star prospect from gainesville so i think that he's got the ability to really improve that team I think defensively they got a little bit to work on still and that could be their downfall against some of the better teams in the SEC but the Gators they might you know I feel like people are a little too easily hyping up Tennessee and Kentucky in the offseason is like the second best team in the SEC East I think Florida is very much in play to be that team but what you just said kentucky plus three and a half on saturday night i mean that's there's some suspension issues there we got to find out about okay all right but florida had like i always just play by the rule if you had a game on campus that the entire team most likely is partying for like four days yes just go against them the next week because they are college kids and they deserve to party but that was such an electric night no it's that's perfectly reasonable take and it is still florida in the last few years wouldn't exactly be a shock to see them kind of fall flat on their face the week after a big one yeah yeah but then that would just set them up perfectly to play against tennessee and like you said everybody's saying oh this, this is Tennessee's year.
And then Florida beats them by 30. Yeah.
That's kind of where this is going. Yeah.
I mean, I love Tennessee. That offense is really fun.
But I feel like Vols fans are ignoring the fact that that team scored like 40 points per game last year and went seven and six. So it's like the defense is still a pretty big problem for that team.
And I need to see that defense take a step forward before I really trust them. I can't wait to take Tennessee plus 21 against Alabama and have it be like 28-0 to start the game.
You're not going to win that. I did it again.
I did it again. Wasn't Tennessee beating Alabama in the second half last year? I feel like they were.
They were definitely inside the number. I remember Florida was giving Alabama hell for a while.
I don't know if I can't remember if Tennessee. I think Tennessee was giving Georgia.
Tennessee, I think, fucked with Alabama. But then Alabama put it away with like 10 minutes left.
They scored like four touchdowns. I think they might have.
That's a Tennessee fan's life right there. You can't ask me to differentiate between these losses.
They're all heartbreaking in their own ways. I want to say it was like maybe 14-14 to start the game.
And then it was, yeah, all right, I'm looking up at the box score right now. It was 14-7 Tennessee.
And then it ended 52-24. Yeah.
They had a quarter. They had a quarter.
Okay, so speaking of moral victories against Alabama, what does Texas have to keep it within this weekend? So the spread's 20. We just looked it up.
Quinn up Quinn Ewers by the way I feel like Mike Leach just looks at Quinn Ewers it was like how did how did I how did I not get my hands on you boy didn't have the NIL money oh I moral victory honestly if they could cover the spread that's a moral victory if Quinn Ewers just actually looks good in the game like if they lose but quinn ewers plays well i think if you're a texas fan you're feeling pretty damn good about where you stand in the big 12 going forward and offensively but i'd also like to see defensively if they're capable of doing anything because they're a lot like tennessee i was just talking about offensively last year i don't think texas really had any problems they've got really good players on offense they have really good players on offense this year defensively they couldn't stop anybody that you know was worth a damn so that's going to be a key situation for that game which is why i probably won't take them to cover the spread but i don't think it's impossible that texas is going to be able to move the ball put up points on alabama i like it i like it all right what was your other big surprise or takeaway from week one uh the biggest takeaway was that I did not realize Indiana had the money to pay officials like they did on Friday night to take away that touchdown.

But other than that, honestly, this is like a very like minor thing.

But I was surprised by how bad Louisville looked like.

This is a team that I had high expectations for coming in the year.

And they went on the road to Syracuse and just got the shit kicked out of them, which I did not see it's like if they'd lost that was one thing but just how hapless they looked in that game and it's an interesting situation for me just trying to think forward because Scott Satterfield it's already kind of not on a hot seat but kind of a moderate seat and now it's going to be heating up and then I look at Purdue a team that I feel like is not going to live up to the expectations placed on it after going nine and four last year. We saw them lose to Penn State on Thursday night.
And I just kind of looking in my crystal ball and I see a situation in which Scott Satterfield is going to end up losing his job there. And Jeff Braum is going to be leaving Purdue to return to Louisville, which is just something I feel like has been in the works for years already.
Scott Satterfield, to remind people, when he was asked his favorite part about louisville was he said the airport literally getting out of town he's like the airport's pretty close it's like okay cool dude um yeah no the illinois game uh i was texting with tom during it because i had illinois and it went from like us rooting you know he's obviously went to illinois it's like come on illinois let's do it to finally just being like, fuck you, Tom. I hate your stupid football team.
What the fuck just happened? That was, I watched two big 10 games. I had Purdue and Illinois.
They basically went the exact same where it was like one team should have won. And it's just like, oh, here we go again.
This game is slipping away. It's great.
When you look at like the nerd box scores afterwards that do all like, this is what should have happened based what happened in the game there was one that had illinois's postgame win expectancy at 90 and another that had it at 66 that's a pretty big delta there yeah i fuck you i mean they should be two and oh but they they hurt themselves and the refs really really just i mean i have no idea how the hell they decided that wasn't a catch but you know it's week one for the refs too boys week one for the right yeah yeah it's week one for the right yeah that catch was that was they hate me nuts yeah bielham is a guy that like a ref loves to stick it to him you can tell yeah he's got that face on the sidelines it's like i they almost they almost see him as so much of a threat that they want to go out of their way to not get bullied by him so they they bully him first. Yeah, but if you watch, Brett, he doesn't really get on him too bad compared to Tom Allen.
Tom Allen looked like he was going to have a heart attack. He was screaming at him.
He was going full Brian Kelly during that game yelling at the officials, which is weird because Tom Allen kind of just doesn't seem like that kind of a person, but, man, he's on the sidelines. He gets angry.
Now I'm getting even more mad again about it because indiana football fans indiana basketball fans whatever like and i have a lot of friends who went to indiana but indiana football fans there's a few online that are just the most unrealistic people ever they they won a few games in the covet year and they're like this is the changing of the guard some guy tried to be like yeah remember wisconsin indiana last time we played and i pulled up the last 10 and i had forgot that wisconsin put 82 on them once like what are we talking about here so what really sucks tom what really sucks is like i think indiana basketball is probably going to be pretty good this year so illinois football not getting that win just i probably could have used that a few months from now

just to kind of hold on to.

But now they're going to be able to lord that one over my head too.

I play that same game where it's like you got to win one or the other.

You can't lose both because you just can't lose both.

You can't do it.

I have a take.

We didn't have you on preseason,

but I have Oklahoma as my my dark horse fourth

team because everyone like you said Georgia Ohio State Alabama write them in Utah was a team that a lot of people were talking about they that probably didn't eliminate them because they played Florida very tough but what did you what do you think about Oklahoma obviously they killed UTEP?

Yeah, UTEP.

Killed UTEP. Are you

buying Oklahoma, or are you thinking it's going to be the same old Oklahoma and they lose some random game they shouldn't lose, and that disqualifies them? It's very much in play. I'm not selling them.
I'm just not fully on board, because I think that part of me was just there was some natural reaction to Oklahoma fans acting like fans acting like it wasn't a big deal that lincoln riley left for usc and took caleb williams and all these other guys with him like whatever lincoln sucked anyway the team was going to shit with him we don't need him but like there is some truth in that brent venables you know like one of the bigger problems oklahoma's had in recent years is on the defensive side of the ball and you know that with Brent Venables in charge, the defense is going to improve and be good. And then Jeff Levy comes in with an offensive system that is not exactly, you know, bad.
He's put up points everywhere he's gone. He was most recently at Ole Miss.
And you bring in Dylan Gabriel, who is familiar with the system. So it's like you look at that team going into the year.
And even though it's a lot of new faces and guys, you might not recognize that haven't been they're going to score a lot of points that was the one thing against UTEP because UTEP is not what I would call a great team but UTEP is not as bad as it has been in recent years you know they got to a bowl game last year and Oklahoma just clowned them I mean there was really they barely broke a sweat just beating up on them on Saturday and the offense looked sharp it looked good they look like They look like they're going to score a ton of points. If that defense takes the step forward like I expect, the 200 Venables and that coaching staff, I think they're the favorite in the Big 12.
But like you said, the key will be can they avoid the stupid loss because I look at the Big 12 this year, and I don't think – like I think Baylor is still good. I think Oklahoma is the best team.
I don't think Texas is going to be great. I don't know who else in that conference is going to be great.
So I just don't know that they're going to have a resume if they suffer a loss. That's not a, you know, like ridiculous, really close game loss against either Baylor or Texas or whoever.
If it's a bad loss, I just don't know if they'll be able to overcome it. Yeah.
OK, let's play a quick game real quick. It's called which one of these ACC teams that barely won is the least fraudulent.
First up, we're going to go NC State over ECU. Kicker missed that.
Was it an extra point? No, he missed an extra point. Then he missed the field goal.
Then he missed the field goal. Missed two of them.
Yeah. We're going to go with UNC, App State, the craziest fourth quarter maybe in the history of college football.
Gene Chizik. And then, you know what, let's just toss Clemson in here.
Clemson's going to win by, I'm first reporting, seven points. It's going to be 7-0 Clemson over Georgia Tech.
So let's just assume that score will hold up. So which one of those three ACC teams is the biggest fraud? This is tough because there's a lot of fraud.
Rank them from most fraudulent to least fraudulent. Most fraudulent, North Carolina, Clemson, and NC State.
North Carolina, first of all, I want to start by saying I think Drake May, their new quarterback, is really good. I think that he's not just putting up numbers against bad defenses.
I think that he's probably, I over Sam Howell. No offense.
I know that he's with your commanders now, but I think that they've got a better quarterback now. Really? Was Drake May ranked number one going into the season in a mock draft and mini mock drafts that were published on the internet? Sam Howell was.
He might be next year because he's doing some special stuff back there. Let's hold off before we make these comparisons.

But their defense is so, so bad.

They couldn't stop App State.

Last week they couldn't stop Florida A&M.

And Jackson State, Deion's team, beat them, what, 52-3?

And Fab U is putting up like 30-something on North Carolina.

That defense is bad.

They're going to lose a lot of games. But I would just take the North North Carolina over every week I think that's something we should all be focusing on Clemson yeah based on what we're seeing so far tonight looks exactly the same as last year like it's gonna it you're gonna have to score 20 points on it to beat it the key is gonna be can you score 20 points most teams won't be able to but some will and then NC State that was a bad performance but ecu is a tough place to play and i think the bigger problem that north carolina faced and nc state faced and we saw virginia tech faces why the fuck are you scheduling non-con games on the road against good g5 programs and like north carolina's doing it again this week they're playing georg state again this week.
So after barely hanging on to beat app state,

they're going on the road again for no reason to play Georgia state.

It's just stupid scheduling.

When you are the ACC and your reputation is already in the toilet,

don't make things harder on yourself than they already are.

Just play FCS teams in November.

Like the sec does.

We can all make fun of them for it when it happens,

but they're getting 10 teams into the bowls every single year. They're getting two teams the playoff it's almost like there's a reason that they do it and maybe the acc should take note yeah why did they do that with with virginia tech and odu in week one like playing at odu makes zero sense i mean the the north carolina one was even more shocking to me because you're playing literally a school in your state that has been better than you at football it's it's crazy well that that same argument yeah no do you well yeah it was better last year but like app state's been good for a while it's like charity and nobility pretty much it's like they think it's the good the right thing to do to like play a road game at the smaller in-state school to help you know generate revenue for them and sell tickets but like there's a very thin line in like you know being gracious and being an idiot yeah i think people didn't realize that odu's sick blue uniforms those are worth 10 points and the dog with the crocs yes they have a mascot with dog crocs yep i mean that was that was it right there.
That was the game.

All right, Tom, before we do the Mount Rushmore,

one last question, college football.

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We have to at least mention it.

Classic college football, they change finally the playoff system to 12 on the Friday of Labor Day. What was your initial – are you a 12-team guy? I hope you are because you aren't.
I want to go back to the VCS. Oh, fuck.
Two teams decide everything? Oh, come on. I just – I'm not – listen, I'm going to watch.
It's the 12-team playoff. It's like I'm not going to watch.
I'm not listen i'm gonna watch it's the 12 team playoff it's

it's not like i'm not gonna watch you know i'm not gonna ignore it and be like it's stupid it's just i feel like a 12 team playoff is i my my problem isn't with the playoff as much as it's with the attention that it gets because like if you go around the country this weekend the best games were pit w west West Virginia, Purdue Penn state, Houston, UTSA, Florida state, LSU. None of these teams are probably competing for a playoff spot this year.
And the one playoff game that you saw this weekend or a possible playoff game that you saw was Georgia, Oregon, because that was an 11 seed versus a three seed. And you see the gap that exists between the teams at the top and those next tier teams.
Like there is a clear first tier of teams. And it just drives me insane when so much of the conversation is then focused around the college football playoff.
And all of a sudden, if a team loses a game, the rest of their season no longer matters because they're not going to get to the playoff and the argument for it now is that well if you have 12 teams six highest ranked conference champs six at large more fan bases are going to have interesting games played in november that's going to work for two years and then if you're a baylor fan or if you're a wisconsin fan eight playoffs eight playoffs in 25 years. Yeah, but you're getting the shit kicked out of you every year you get there.
Eight playoffs. And all of a sudden you're saying to yourself, you know what? Eight playoffs.
I think I'd rather be playing South Carolina in an Outback Bowl and winning that game than losing by 35 to Georgia. Okay, listen.
You made some decent points. The counterpoint I would have is home playoff games.
That's the best part. That's going to rule.
That's going to rule. That is the one saving grace of this plan in that you might see, like, Georgia have to go to Madison to play Wisconsin, or Alabama have to go north to play Ohio State and Columbus, that kind of stuff.
And those games will be in December. This isn't, like, going to be a September game in Wisconsin.
It's going to be December. It is going to be 15 degrees with seven inches of snow on the ground.
So that could bring an element of chaos that you haven't seen. But I like that.
It's just most times, 90% of the time, it's still going to be the same two, three, or four teams that are reaching the championship game. Why don't we just set aside the top four seeds and then have the other eight teams play in a tournament to see who gets to advance to the semifinal rounds.
I guess it would be the round of eight, wouldn't it? I'm trying to figure out how to protect the institutional powerhouses so that we don't have to see. They're all going to have buys.
Is that how a 12-game playoff works? Four teams have buys, which actually... Okay, so at least we won't see the blowouts right ahead.
Right away, yeah. And it's going to be very funny because the four teams that have buys won't get home playoff games and they're gonna that's gonna change because they're gonna get so pissed like alabama's gonna be like wait we want a home playoff game and all this money why don't we get one we're too good to get a home playoff game that's fucked up yeah and that's also too it's like it's weird to me that i understand why notre dame's part of it but notre dame can never get a first round buy yeah that was actually by design because now they just always will have a home playoff game yeah they're always going to be ranked between five and eight it's like you kind of respect that they're like you know what we're probably not winning many national titles right now anyway so let's just cash in and get an extra home game out of it at the very least every year every year they will have it's actually genius i mean like the the fact of the matter is a 12 game playoff it's going to be good because there's going to be more actual meaningful games on that we can like trick ourselves into believing that they're meaningful until they do play against alabama or georgia and get their ass kicked uh in the final four but it's still in the moment it's meaningful, right? That's good for something.
Yeah, except we're all still stupid. So, like, five years after it starts, we're going to want to expand it to 16.
And then we're going to want to get – It's true. Because it's going to be like, eh, 12's not enough.
This is getting boring. It's the same teams every year.
We need to expand to get more variety. Crazy idea.
What if you did a 64-team tournament? No. Nobody's ever tried that.
But that would never work. No, then you then you got to expand that to 68 and you have a couple games that get played the day before that tournament starts like that this all speaks to like a philosophical difference between basketball and football is like the march madness has cinderellas because in a basketball game there are fewer players on the court so there's more variants like a team can make a run a few shots can go in a few shots could not go in and it changes things that doesn't happen in a football game because it's 11 on 11 and the more talented teams win like the cinderella stories in football happen during the regular season cincinnati was the cinderella story just getting to the playoff utsa was a cinderella story last year coming out of nowhere and competing for its conference that happens in the regular season every single year It doesn't have to be a postseason run to be a Cinderella story.
What about this? What about this? We just talked about Tennessee going up 14-7 against Alabama. Cinderella story.
Yeah, what if we do 60-14 playoff, but the entire first three rounds are just one quarter of football? That would be cool. And we could we could spin it as player safety yeah right right and then you can have just like and you could play like two days after you know what i mean you can play one quarter a week yeah right that'd be sick if alabama had to play against let's just throw out the entire top 10 right so none of those teams but every team that every team that's ranked number 11 through, call it, 100 in college football right now,

how many teams could get out to a lead against Alabama?

All you have to do to beat Alabama is just get a lead.

It can be seven.

It can be three.

It can be two.

But if you just have a higher score than them, boom, that's a win.

And we give them the ball first?

Coin flip.

Coin flip.

Oh, see, that changes things.

If you give them the ball first, I think there's a decent chance that a few of them could. If it's a coin flip, that's, ooh, I don't know.
I'd say 20 are capable, 10 would. All right, so here's another idea.
What if we just played a college football playoff, but it's against the point spread? So if you lose by 24 and the point spread was 27, you advance. Who sets the spread? Vegas.
Vegas. I think if I set the spread, I'll be okay with it.
That would be so much fun to be like, oh, Alabama won by 41, but the spread was 42, so they don't advance. What if that's just an ex-professional sports league? It is.
Wins and losses aren't based on the actual results. It's based on whether you cover the spread.
That would be so frustrating to be on a really good team. It would actually suck so bad.
I would much rather be on the worst team in the league and then just stumble my way into a victory every now and again. The Bears could maybe make the playoffs this year.
The NFL adds a new wildcard team for the team that went the best ATS record. I mean, come on.
Those are always the teams that everyone loves the most. Like they are the stories.
Would it be funner if the teams did know or didn't know that they were playing against the spread? Yeah, I think you have to reveal. Maybe you do like a big reveal at halftime.
You reveal it after the game. You get both teams on the field.
And it's like the ref has each coach has their hand in their hand like it's a UFC official. You unveil the cards, and then you raise Nick Saban's hand.
Do like a Price is Right showcase showdown where you have to be the closest bidder to the spread without going over. Yeah, yeah.
And then every team has to hire like an analytics department that's just bookmakers. See, now we're creating jobs.
Look at us. We're coming up with these sports leagues.
We're stimulating the economy. We should probably cut this out of the show and keep it to ourselves.
I'm in. Tom, I do have one more question before we get to the Mount Rushmore because you are on the Lowman Trophy Committee.
I was wondering if you had any thoughts going into the season, what fullbacks would be on your watch list? Good question.

I mean, it's the same as usual.

Like Monty Pottybaum, what's his name?

The kid from Indiana.

Does Sean Shivers count as a fullback?

Because he's built like a fullback, but Indiana doesn't really use a fullback.

I think he's somebody that should get special consideration.

He transferred from Auburn.

He looked pretty sturdy against the Illini on Friday. Dan, who are your Wisconsin fullbacks this year? Is Chanel still there? I think Rettmeister is still there.
No, Chanel's not there anymore. I think there's a younger Chanel.
Yeah, there might be. With the COVID, it is so hard to keep track of who still has eligibility left.
Because every single game you're watching, there's watching there's a 25 year old quarterback it's just getting nuts yeah i think um army still has the buchanan ball jacoby buchanan um potter bomb's got to be the i think he's the name when everybody slips this preseason you know if he just picks up another couple of safeties oh boy nobody's gonna be able him. I'm trying to think.
He could actually make a disproportionately large impact on his team's offense compared to other fullbacks in the game where, okay, he might get a couple good blocks, but if he scores two touchdowns this year, that's probably 50% of Iowa's team total. What's fucked up is I think there are now more fullbacks in the NFL than there are in the FBS level of college football, or at least teams using fullbacks regularly and that's kind of scary to me that is fucked up that's that's the population chart that's a nightmare all right so our fullbacks is i mean this guy's just meant to be a wisconsin fullback he's from milwaukee riley noakowski yep he's got a mustache because I feel like he was born with a mustache very fullbacky name and then Zach Glutman who's definitely a fullback as well that guy loves Lute Fisk right there Zach Glutman I still love the days when Matt Bernstein ran for like 125 yards against Penn State yeah long yeah I read me I can't.
But, yeah, Wisconsin has just, you know, fullback you. Who is that fullback on Florida State that got that touchdown last night? Oh.
He's their linebacker, but they used him as a fullback. That was cool.
I cannot remember his name, but I know who you're talking about. Yeah.
That's a fullback highlight play of the year. Put a pin in that one.
The guy's name will never say again. Actually, that's a question I have for you, just a point of order.
How many snaps does a guy have to have at fullback to count? I think less better. So that's a good question because there was some disambiguation last year.
Hayward, right? Yeah. He was at Michigan State.
He was tight end, H-back. They put him in the slot sometimes.
He played fullback. He played everywhere.
I think the fact that he looked like a fullback, he had that fire hydrant type build. And his dad was Iron Man Hayward.
I feel like that's a legacy choice. Exactly, yeah.
And he just had that proportion where he looked like he was a squished together gummy bear, just like a compressed gummy bear. It's not an exact science, but it's's like pornography you know what yeah you know yeah for sure dj lundy was the name i just looked it up there we go linebacker who scored as a fullback for florida state okay yeah i like that yeah um okay any other fullbacks i'm trying to remember i mean it's hard to know right yeah we'll know when we see them Okay, so basically the preseason watch list is every Wisconsin fullback, Army, every Army player.
I'm going to say not just running backs and Army. The entire Army roster is on the watch list.
And then I'm going to say somebody from Arizona State. Arizona State probably has one.

Herm probably has one, yeah.

He's got fullbacks.

He's probably going to mull it right now.

He might not even use them, but he has one.

He might have transferred out, though.

They lost a lot of guys to the portal.

Herm carries a fullback like a handgun.

He's got it in the case.

He probably isn't going to take it out, but if he needs it, he will.

Yeah, you'd rather have one and not need it than need one and not have it.

What do you think it's like to be a fullback in the transfer portal like how many people are calling you well you call you just go you go to madison and you just are like i'm here hello someone any quarterback that enters the portal gets like 10 calls within 20 minutes like a fullback just sitting there like whistling to himself crossed his fingers somebody's gonna call i think you just go and start like squatting outside paul chris office and like hopefully this works and it usually probably would tom for nelly is being brought to you by our good friends over at roman tom actually wanted me to tell you guys about his favorite product that's roman swipes they're convenient over-the-counter wipes that are clinically proven to help you last longer in bed they're uniquely formulated to reduce overstimulation without eliminating sensation altogether. In a 2019 study, they were proven to increase time to orgasm by more than 4x.
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All right, let's do it. Mount Rushmore.
This is the finale of Mount Rushmore season. So Team Hank has been an abject failure.
Just completely shit to bed the last week. So he's bringing in his counterpart.
A lot of times people say that Tom steals his takes from Hank. And we figured let's do the Mount Rushmore of Italians because Tom is a proud Italian.
I'm wearing my shirt that says, not Italian, but supportive. Both my children are quarter Italian.
So,, I can make any joke I want. I did a 23 in me, Tom.
I'm 1% Sicilian. There we go.
That's your angry side. So can I say the G word? You can to me.
I don't know if you should say it on this show, but you can say it to me. You can text it to me and I'll say it.
Because as I said father of two of of a quarter italians so i'm i can say anything but you're not but you're not personally i'm personally not okay but i birth i helped create two quarter italian kids so i'm allowed to say whatever i want i think you're in i think if you help create more italians that just makes you right exactly i'm i'm set. All right.
So just the ground rules. We're doing the greatest Italians.
Should we all just agree that we're going to let Billy take Mussolini? Come on. Oh, sorry.
Did we take it? No. No.
Jesus. That was your pick, wasn't it? That was your one-one? No.
What's wrong with Mussolini, Billy? Why don't you want Mussolini? Well, he wasn't even the best dictator.

Oh, yeah.

He was the best dictator.

On your power rankings of Central European

dictators of the late

30s, early 40s. No, no, I'm just talking about Italy.

I'm just talking about Italy. There's much better

dictator. He wasn't even the best

fascist. Yeah, he was terrible.

Train's right on time, Billy. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
That was really the biggest problem he was facing at the time. I don't know how I've gotten this label.
Yeah, but you wear it well. All right.
We're going to – I think we won the last one. We did.
Should we let Team Hank and Tom pick? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right.
So let's go around the room. So you guys can go first.
Team Jilly can go second, and we will go third. Tom, I think you should explain the first pick.
Tom sent me a text, and I was very much on board with what his strategy was, and I think it plays, but I'll let him get the shot. By the way, we should just say Tom did fully tom did fully cheat he tweeted out like i'm thinking about the best italian so he basically just crowdsourced it um he did ask me i have to crowdsource italians listen i was a cheating maneuver and you also fell for the trap because you texted me before you're like is it cool if i tweet this and i was knowing that i would knowing i would bring this up to fuck team hank i like, yeah, go ahead, dude.
Tweet it. Blatant cheating.
I didn't want to spoil the topic. I didn't know the rules for Mount Rushmore.
I think, obviously, 1-1 is a pretty obvious choice for our board. He's one of the greatest Italians alive.
Still alive today. Does a great job representing us on television.
I'm take mike to rico oh good nice pick very good pick italian mike it's great yes yes individual very italian very italian italian pervert both that's really oh he checks all the boxes big time everything you're looking for in italian Yes. All right, Team Jilly.

We're going with James Gandolfini.

Ah.

That was going to be our first pick.

Good pick.

Good pick.

Okay. Like Gandolfini or Tony Soprano?

Mm.

Let's put a dash in there.

Are we discerning between the Jilly and the other?

No, no, no, no.

You got to pick one or the other.

Guys, Max, Jake, any input? Just going to hang him off the dry? No, I mean. I mean.
The pick was James Gandolfini. James Gandolfini made us love Tony Soprano.
So without him. Which one's your pick? Tony's a more recognizable name or no? I feel.
Tony Soprano is for sure. Scandolfini is the actor that plays Tony Soprano, but he also plays other Italians.
Yeah, we'll take Tony Soprano. Okay, good pick.
I was going to take Tony Soprano. Terrible pick.
Terrible pick. Of course we were.
Of course we were. Awful pick.
All right, where should we go with? Should we go? I think we should go with our two, three. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
All right, so we're going go uh al capone and john gotty that's our those are our first two picks great italians great italians you know what they cared about their community yep the streets were a lot safer when those guys were around they were you know like you could walk through your neighborhood and hold your head high you couldn't own a small business but you could you you knew that like there wasn't gonna be trash on the street they provided a service right they did exactly and they killed kennedy right yeah hey hey hey you can't prove that hey we're not doing the mount rushmore virus guys you know al capone is actually buried right across from my my high school in my hometown yeah that's great and he's and what do you have syphilis yeah no he had syphilis yes just yeah he he went to hot uh i think hot springs arkansas where they have the arkansas derby um oakland i think al capone used to go there because he thought like if he sat a tub long enough, the syphilis would go away. So smart man, too.
Smart man. Science at the time.
Yes. Alright, go ahead.
Team Jilly. I love ours.
And he cheated on his taxes. Heck, you'll appreciate that.
That's a very Italian thing to do, yes. And he was trending the other day.
For what? Because when they rated Trump's Mar-a-Lago they were like Al Capone So Yeah he was trending Still relevant today What are Billy's thoughts on what happened With Trump He's a big special master guy ahead. All right.
This one, we're going to go with the character, not the actor. Rocky Balboa.
Okay. The Italian style.
So you guys are only going with characters. No.
Well, yeah. You went to Tony Soprano.
Yeah, so far. Rocky Balboa.
Okay. All right.
We got some serious real people coming up. Mm-hmm.
As real as John Gotti ander that's realer than them okay all right that's that's a good pick i just you know i wish wish you were picking real people instead of yeah portrayals of italians but it's kind of patronizing of italian culture for them to pick like these these caricatures we have boxers when there are people out there that you know they they work and they even create these characters. Right.
Exactly. You're saying that, like, a fictional person is a better Italian than all the real blue-blooded, hard-working Italians out there.
It's pretty disrespectful, I think. It is.
In that same vein, our next two picks, you know, similar people, similar mindsets, similar, you uh the first one being julius caesar oh good that that's my goat dictator oh no really because i'm surprised you like julius caesar seeing as how you know he was the original capital stormer there he was a true patriot he's the one who ended the republic i I can see why you like him a lot. And then in that same vein,

speak. He's the one who ended the Republic.
I can see why you like him. And then in that same vein, speaking of storm in the capital, Ryan Russillo is our next pick.
Another anti-tax guy. You could have picked Simmons.
Half Italian. Yeah, but no, the difference is, like Russillo, when you look for an Italian, you're looking like a real Italian isn't afraid to put his nuts on the table or the couch sofa that he's sitting on at any given time.
And Russillo, he's putting them out there for everybody to see. That's a real Italian right there.
Yes. Yes.
Okay. Team Gilly, good picks.
Good picks. This is a strong Mount Rushmore.
We're going with Mario. Oh, okay.
Mario. Super Mario.
Draft in real Italians now, huh? We've pivoted there. He's real in my eyes.
So plumbers, boxers, and mafia. That's all you got.
We have no mafia. Tony Soprano.
Yeah, Tony Soprano. You could have picked an unbelievable actor in James Gandolfini.
Super Mario on the graphic. Okay.
Okay. So are you taking him while Luigi is still on the board? While Luigi.
Interesting. Yeah.
Okay. Sleeper.
All right. What do we want to go with? I think number five for sure, but then who else? You pick the last one.
Okay. I'll do the last one.
All right. We're going to go with Mike the the situation from jersey shore another non-tax guy great italian i'm sensing a theme here holy shit so none of these guys pay their taxes yeah we we came here we made sure to check out how everybody else was doing it and said all right let's do it for ourselves and that's really really been working to our benefit.
We had to establish ourselves in this country somehow.

So we looked at who was in charge, how they got in charge,

how they got their money, and we said, let's do it,

but let's do it better than they did because that's the Italian way.

I like the idea of just being like, if we all cheat,

they can't arrest all of us.

And the IRS is like, yeah, we can.

Well, we definitely can.

That's kind of what we do.

You know what?

We'll make a law, too, that anyone who associates with anyone, call it RICO. Yeah.
We were so good that they had to create laws to stop us. That's true.
That's skills. They were such skills that they had to create the RICO law.
All right. Last pick.
Our last pick, I'm going to go with, what do you think? Maybe the third one that I sent in this last one? Yeah. I mean, he's a total double, a dual threat Italian.
Silvio Berlusconi, the former prime minister. He had orgies while he was.
He made Bill Clinton look like Tim Tebow. He was just fucking everything, had his finger in every pie.
That's an Italian expression, but also you can imagine what it means. Literally, he was really urban-miring it out there, yeah.
Yes, yes, he was. What did he call them, the boonga-boonga parties? Yes, yes.
This is a Mount Rushmore, so we should have an actual president. Yes, yes.
He accomplished great things. Maybe not, but whatever.
He was there. He's the Milan, won the Champions League while he owned it.
There you go. Good enough for me.
Thank you, Tom. We need some help with that.
All right. Team Jilly, your last pick.
Max, would you like to announce our final pick of 2022? I would be honored.

This is a personal favorite of mine.

I'm going to go with Frank Sinatra.

Oh, shit.

That's a great pick.

That's a great pick.

Damn it.

That was so classy what Jake just did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was he basically was like, Max, go ahead.

Pick Mr. Irrelevant.

Brings him out.

Billy was running to draft Nero and Max saved the day by taking Frank Sinatra. It was a great choice.
All right, your guy's last pick. I feel like, Tom, you should just whatever comes to your mind.
We've still got a lot of people on the board. I think you should just go for it.
Oh, man, I don't know. Our number two is still there, but I feel like, I don't know if this is the time to take it.
Yeah, fuck it. No, I'm going to go with Chef Boyardee.
Ooh, nice. Good choice.
I learned how to cook from my grandmother growing up. But, I mean, we all talk about our Italian grandmothers and their raviolis, but I've still, to this day, never had a better ravioli than the one made by Chef Boyardee.
Yeah, the beef ravioli. Somehow it tastes better when it's cold

than it does when it's heated up.

Yes.

Just fantastic.

All right, what did we miss?

Papa John?

Max Hobo?

I mean, he's Italian.

Come on.

Papa John's Italian.

We had Sacco and Vanzetti on our list.

Oh, yeah.

Anarchists.

Didn't take him.

R.I.P.

McAvillie.

Yeah.

How about Robert De Niro and Al Pacino? Quality Italians. Not on my list.
Not on the list. Really? Do you want the rest of my list? I'll give it to you.
Yeah, let's hear it. What about Ponzi? The guy that invented the Ponzi skin.
Really otta? Italians invent a lot of things. I had Fat Tony from The Simpsons uh oh yeah adrian brody from peaky blinders with the most offensive performance of italian i've ever seen uh noted pervert r kelly your favorite dan marino yeah the teenage mutant ninja turtles paulie walnuts and course, Lieutenant Aldo Rain and the Inglorious Bastards.
Nice. Yeah.
Mike Piazza. Chris Cuomo.
Chris Cuomo. Andrew Cuomo.
All the Cuomos. The Cuomos.
Cuomosexuals. Cuomosexuals, yeah.
Pontius Pilate was Italian. Listen, talk about your all-time.
No Christianity without Pontius Pilate. That's true.
He kind of saved everybody's life. Also, maybe the biggest heel, right? He actually, he killed Jesus.
So that's a, if you're like a bad boy. Christopher Columbus.
That's a good one, but it might not be Italian. It might be like Spanish.
Spanish, yeah. The Italians claim themians claim though what about um i thought you were gonna go with like da vinci and michelangelo i said the teenage ninja turtles oh yeah it's true you're right you're right you nailed them all i mean this was a great mount rushmore great ending um it just became i so wait what were give us your picks again the four that you have what was

yours team hank and tom uh we had mike tarico ryan rissillo or julius caesar then ryan rissillo and then chef boyardee okay and then team jilly we had rocky tony soprano super mario and Sinatra.

You guys had a good one.

And then we had Al Capone, John Gotti,

the situation. Tony Soprano, Super Mario, and Sinatra.
You guys had a good one. And then we had Al Capone, John Gotti, The Situation, and then Silvio Berlusconi.
See, I feel like your team is a little too similar. You didn't really, you know, you don't have enough.
Oh, no, what we said, I think my exact text to memes and PFT was, I kind of want to make a mockery of this and go with uh all mobsters we'll see i was telling hank i figured you guys were going to go that kind of joke route that's why we went to rico one one we just wanted to throw you off your game yeah that really i think that was a good choice that was i only regret not doing sinatra i think if we had sinatra in the fourth we would have we would have won this yeah I was trying to come up with too many joke answers I didn't really think of actual Italians about the friends we made along the way yeah that's true great Mount Rushmore season everyone Tom thank you as always we love having you on everyone check him out on Twitter he writes columns he has picks the Georgia Tech they just scored a field goal so 14-3 yeah I know I have Clemson first half it's gonna suck so uh all right well Tom thanks as always man we'll talk to you soon my pleasure thanks for having me okay we're gonna wrap up the show with football guy of the week and Billy your first ad read on pmt second oh when did you do another one like two years ago fuck yeah so you're a seasoned vet exactly all right so billy who is football guy of the week brought to you by football guy of the week is brought to you by body armor this season you know your favorite players are hydrating with body armor sports drink on and off the field body armor Armor Sports Drink is more than a sports drink. Body Armor Sports Drink is the choice for hardworking hydration.
It has potassium-packed electrolytes, antioxidants, B vitamins, plus no artificial sweeteners, flavors, and dyes. Available for purchase in-store and on Amazon now.
Go get you some Body Armor. Okay, great job, Billy.
Did you just ad-lib that end? Go get you some body armor? Yeah. That's a great tagline.
Yeah, it is. Go get you some body armor.
Go get you some. It's good stuff.
I drink it all day. All right, so Billy.
Now you're getting fun with it. Just stick to the, go get you some body armor.
It's not going crazy. Billy, Football Guy of the Week is back.
I know. I'm hyped.
All right, so let's go. So first guy we got is Justin...
How many high school players do we have this week? Only one. Only one, but it was sick.
It was sick. Did he do anything with a pancake or anything? No, no, no.
We have Justin Houston, outside linebacker for the Ravens. So, the Ravens have two offensive outside linebackers on their 53-man roster, so that means that they're going to have to be playing a lot, the two guys.
So Justin Houston, one of them, he said, quote-unquote, if they need me to play every snap, I'm playing every snap I can play. They'll carry me off the field before I quit.
I was told you'll pass out before you die, so I'm willing to pass out. Okay, I like that.
That is a very football guy thing to say where it's like. I think that's medically correct.

Also, like if you're going to die, you have to stop not being passed out first, right? And also, like, I would rather be so tired that I don't come out of the game than possibly take a break and help my team out.

Yes.

Football guy.

Yes, football guy.

Absolutely.

Like, if you need a break, don't take it.

This second one comes from the NFL offensive line coach

for the Panthers, James Campin.

So before the Panthers preseason game,

James Campin was just smelling a football.

He just was talking to Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold

about how much he loves the smell of football, especially the laces, and he's been doing it since high school. There's just a video of him just snorting a football.
I like that, just chopping up a football. He's standing with his back to the goalposts, just sniffing this football.
I like that. By the way, this kid for Clemson is a future Hall of Famer.
Did you see? I just saw him. Cade Klubnick, yeah.
He's their freshman. He just got in the game for mop-up duty.
Yeah. Eyeball test.
I've seen five passes from him. Hall of Famer.
Talking gold jacket, folks. Where were you when we said this? Cade Klubnick? Klubnick.
He's legit. I've never heard about this guy this guy and again I just saw the eyeball that he's a true freshman it's like 18 years old yeah yeah just remember in like 25 years Cade Clubnick should have us intro his hall of fame speech this kid this quarterback at Clemson yeah.
This kid? No, this kid. Oh, wide open.
Did you see the quarterback that was playing the majority of the game? Not good for Clemson. DJ Uyunglele.
Wait, was that Dabo's kid who just cut? Wait. No, Dabo does, I think, have a kid on the team.
He does have a kid on the team. He's on the field right now.
But that's completely irrelevant. That kid would be on the team even if his dad wasn't the coach.
Yeah. Oh, now they're showing the unguilely, and he's probably like, fuck, that was an easy drive.
I know it's against backups, but whatever. All right, keep going, Billy.
Our third guy, third football guy of the week, is reoccurring guest Sam Pittman. Arkansas, after the game, he was getting interviewed.
They were asking him how he was going to celebrate his win, and he said with a nice cold Coors Light.

He doesn't condone it, but he doesn't want to promote it,

but he was saying he was going to drink some nice cold beer.

And old and cold.

Old and cold.

He made up a new expression.

Yeah.

That's cool.

He does have maybe the coolest picture of him with Coors Light ever.

Have you seen that old picture?

No, I actually haven't.

Back when he was a player?

I'll send it to the group chat.

It's awesome. It's like wine.
That would be a sick T-shirt i love sam pitman so much old and cold and last one this comes from high school but i was watching this highlight from arch manning's high school game oh okay you know what i'm talking about yep yep all right this this actually plays he fucking dropped that in a bucket right right but the arch manning isn star of this video to me. Agreed.
He isn't the most football guy. So I'm watching this, and then I realize, okay, the pass was a little bit – it was a great toss, a great catch, and then the guy just gets nailed by the safety over the middle.
But then I realized that there was a guy chasing him with no helmet on for like 30 yards, chasing down the tight end that was getting the pass. And this guy has no helmet and just straight up goes and levels this guy.
That is football guy material. That's an 18-year-old.
That's a jacked-up 17-year-old probably was drinking way too much pre-workout during the game. And that's just awesome stuff.
I tried to find his name. He launched himself into it.
Yeah. No helmet, football guy.
Yeah. Good job, Billy.
That was a very strong four so jake will blog it or you blog i blog it you blog it vote uh and then like we always do we're gonna try to get a few of them on this year whoever wins football guy of the week to give them their their award we should start sending out we should yeah maybe just like uh just a nail. It's like mail somebody a nail.
The nail, the male nail. What if we just said, nail man.
Yeah. The nail man.
I like that. A single nail.
Yeah. Or maybe a nail.
Part of my take the nail, the nail man of the week. We should know what we should do is we send them a nail and a football and then be like symbol just so you know.
Yeah. Yeah.
Assembly, assembly not included. not included.
And then be like, just so you know, there's a forwarding address so you have to send that to the next week. So we don't have to...
We only have to send one out. Yeah, right.
So it becomes like a... It's a weight off our shoulder.
It becomes a chain nail. Yeah, so hopefully...
Sam Pittman... The brotherhood of the traveling nail.
Yeah, whoever wins it the first week, like, be cool, dude. Yeah.
Send this nail and this football to someone else. Should we just nail a football? Like, pound a nail into the football and that will be what you get.
But we gotta pound it in where it's like, you know when you get, sometimes you get a nail in your tire and it's like, it doesn't go flat. Yeah.
So it gets so perfectly in there and the football stays. I don't think that you can mail something through the air that's inflated like that i feel like oh yeah the air pressure will get to it i mean we we can do whatever we want okay so who do we we put it in the hole in the hole the air hole yeah we could put it in the air put the nail in the air hole yeah i like that i like how this is coming together yeah okay okay yeah we're not gonna do any of this but it was a great idea it was really great idea are you gonna send it yeah I'll find one, send together.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Yeah.
We're not going to do any of this, but it was a great idea. It was really great idea.
Are you going to send it? Yeah. I'll find one.
Send it. Billy.
Well, who's going to, if you can just send it to the first person and write a letter saying it is your obligation to send it on, I will consider a job done by you. Perfect.
Like you're, you're, you're washed clean of this whole thing, but then we got to try to get it back at the end of the year. The only thing is I've been trying to find this high school kid's name, but his number is on the roster.
Yeah, maybe don't. Yeah, no.
Nah. We could do this just for NFL players.
Yeah, we don't have to stalk a high schooler. Yeah.
Hey, what's your home address? These guys from the podcast want to send you a fucking nail. A nail.

All right.

All right, let's wrap up.

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51.

7.

26.

27.

56.

What was your number, Hank?

7.

Have you ever won this?

I have not.

Really?

I'm 0-0 in my last. 64.
That Sam Pittman picture is awesome. 84.
84. 84.
Whoa. People who had 64.
Oh, yeah. I Steve-armed that.
I Steve-armed that. It was 84? It was 84.
Yeah, but 64 people just celebrated. I'm not used to reading the one-sided numbers.
Yeah, it's tough. Because the other balls have four sides.
Five. One, two, three, four, five, six.
Six sides. Love you guys.
Ooh, that's two out of three. Wild boars are.
Wait, what? Our last yellow ball was 84. Then we had two, and now we have 84 again.
Holy shit. Two out of three.
That's a hot streak. Yeah.
Love you guys. Wild boys are invasive creatures that cause millions of dollars of property damage a year.
They're from Europe. We're talking away.
I don't know you want to say I'd say it anyway. Today is my day to find you.
Shining away. I'll be coming for your love of you.
Shining away. I'll be coming for your love, King.
I'll be coming for your lover, King.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.