Fantasy Football Preview With Jerry O’Connell, Russ Gets Paid + Mt Rushmore Of Worst Public Transportation People

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
3, 2, 1. On today's Pardon My Take, our favorite guest, Jerry O'Connell, back for an extended fantasy football preview.
He drafted our team again this year. He then goes through the league on who you should and shouldn't draft he has a poem for billy just an incredible time with joc uh russell wilson got paid serena everyone's going crazy for serena we have mount rushmore of worst people on public transportation and then we'll wrap up with fire fest into the long weekend last weekend of summer and it's brought to you by our friends at hooters hooters is home to the orange zone the number one spot for watching football all season long every league every conference every game college and pro hooters has all the football you can handle come in for the wall-to-wall screens ice cold beer our world famous wings and of course the equally famous Hooters girls be sure to score the football you can handle.
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slash football to learn more okay let's go now in the street there is violence and then a lot of work can be done No place to hang out or wash in

And then a lot of stuff, work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.
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The best place to watch football all season long. Today is Friday, September 2nd, and Russell Wilson has been paid.
His credit is unlimited. It is quite a...
I was thinking about it because he got paid. What were the final numbers? It was seven years, I think.
Pretty much the deal that the Seahawks were never going to give him, the Broncos did give him. That's why he wanted the trade, so that he could take another big dip.
So he's going to get paid until he's like 40 years old, I think. And so if you at the uh per year numbers on him aaron rogers number one 50.2 million russell wilson number two then kyler murray then deshaun then patrick mahomes so as first reported on part of my take i think the day that patrick mahomes signed his contract yep he's gonna regret that contract in like three years yeah and also you had i wonder if russell wilson, you know, Russell Wilson, let's just say it, he likes the limelight.
He likes people talking about Russell Wilson. That's why he came back like four weeks too early with his thumb injury last year, and he does the simulated games with the cameras right in front of him.
Next-level mental reps. Next-level mental reps.
Do you think there's part of him that's a little pissed that the minute it got announced, everyone was like, Lamar Jackson's going to much money yeah he got the second he got the the runoff trend on that one and that's what it used to be all the time whenever a quarterback would get paid it would always be like how much is aaron rogers going to get paid now it's shifted over to lamar jackson now that aaron got his contract so lamar i guess he wants a lot of money guaranteed obviously he does but um i think both sides are kind of far away on that one and now people are upset at russell wilson for not getting a guaranteed contract like deshaun watson got because everybody was saying when deshaun watson got his it's like okay that reset the market now every quarterback's contract is going to be guaranteed turns out that uh not every team is the cleveland browns right when it comes to giving out contracts right so. So he gets $165 million guaranteed, five-year extension worth $245 million.
$165 million guaranteed. Figure out how many turtlenecks that would buy him at the Gap.
That is insane. How many, like, oh, my God.
How many bottles of nanobubbles? Yeah, he got paid, paid, paid. He's truly looking out for his family's future yes yes there it is um he uh yeah i i was i was a little upset though because he is mr unlimited he should have just gotten an infinity contract for an infinity years and then just and then then like imagine if shaftor had to report russell wilson signs infinity contract for infinity years and then it's all of the it's like, well, it's actually a hundred and fifty million over five years.
But there's bonuses to get to infinity. Yeah.
But I actually wouldn't rule that out for us. Or like it escalates after he turns 40 every year after he turns 40.
He gets infinity dollars per year for infinity years. Yes.
But but the Broncos can cut him at any time. Yeah.
Mid-game they could cut him. Yeah.
I mean, he should have thought outside the box. All right, so football is very much back.
Week one, college football. We are going to recap everything.
So next week, because it's Monday's Labor Day, we're going to have a show Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. On Tuesday's show, we will recap all the college football.
Also have a college football friend on. Got to know what I'm gonna say it we haven't talked to Fornelli in a long time Fornelli's gonna come on you okay with that Hank? I guess it's your show oh you know what we should have Fornelli do Hank's Mount Rushmore picks yeah oh he should team with you that's what we'll do it takes all my shit anyway it'll be the finale of Mount Rushmore picks.
Yeah. Oh, he should team with you.
That's what we'll do because Tuesday will be the finale of Mount Rushmore. This is great, too, because I haven't texted Tom, and he's just going to listen to this and be like, okay, I'm in for Tuesday.
But we do have the Backyard Brawl tonight, which is going to be great. There's so many good games.
Also, special shout-out because the Pardon My Cheese Steak truck is going to be live at ULM at Texas, Rutgers at BC, BYU at USF, and the big one, Notre Dame at Ohio State Saturday night. So check out the Pardon My Cheese Steak truck.
It's a cheesesteak season. We launched in the summer, but let's be honest.
When it's hot, it's a little bit harder to harder to harder to grasp but fall football cheesesteaks great drunk food it's it's perfect it is did you see keaton slovis giving the hype up speech yeah at the pep rallies it's so funny to watch keaton slovis be like fuck west virginia yeah he's like the ultimate cali bro right and it's also i'm a little nervous about this game tonight just because uh they haven't had this game since 2011, I feel like we're going to get maybe, like, this is the perfect storm for

f***ing. nervous about this game tonight just because they haven't had this game since 2011.
I feel like we're going to get maybe like this is the perfect storm for fan fights in the stands. Oh, yeah.
Like there we haven't seen, you know, like we haven't seen West Virginia and Pitt for so long. We got to get all of our rage out.
We got to just get very drunk. I think people are probably drunk as we're taping this at noon.
And it's going to be a great game. It's West Virginia.
West Virginia has been pre-gaming for this game for the last, what, 11 years? Yes. That's what they've been getting ready for.
Yes. I don't know much about either one of these two teams besides, you know, I've read a couple of the previews that they put out there, and I'm a big preview guy, and I scan those.
The pay ones, those are tough. I'm just going to say Pitt's overrated.
Oh, okay. I think Pitt's overrated.
I think Pitt's going to win. I think Pitt's going to win and cover.
So I guess one of us will look stupid. That would be great.
Which is no different than any show. Yeah, welcome to part of my take.
If this is your first time, we're wrong. Yeah.
I also saw the Twitter edit button is coming. I don't like this.
No. I hate this.
I think's take should stay forever own your mistakes yeah right although what you can do is if you have like a really bad take that's getting ratioed i would like to just be able to to change it to a gif yeah just have people replying to a gif afterwards and just really confuse people yeah there's so there's there's rules that are put in place i i saw that there it's going to be 30 minutes that you can edit it, and that if you edit it, the tweet underneath shows this has been edited, so you can then click on it. So essentially when they actually roll this out, my first tweet is just going to be like, the bears are back, the bears are not back, the bears are back, and you can just click and see how many iterations I've done.
Does it show you all the history behind it yes okay so disinformation sorry billy won't be won't be going on well so the the beauty of twitter though is that it doesn't have an edit button right the only people that complain about edit buttons are big j's and they shouldn't be making the mistakes in the first place they're actually the ones who should be held most accountable for tweets that they do need to edit right i i hate the idea of an edit button coming back elon dude elon come on get back in save us don't do the edit button don't nobody wants it here's a perfect one a perfect example because i know that jake he's going to want us to talk about serena um this was from ava wallace last night after serena won serena williams says tiger woods is one of the main reasons she's still playing. He was like, okay, we can do this together.
Woods was in her box tonight. That should not be edited.
It should not. That should not be edited.
That's a perfect tweet. Fucking a man should not be able to be edited.
That should not be able to be edited. I will never edit a tweet.
No. I don't care.
Really? No. No, that's a promise.
I will. I will, but I'll do it so blatantly.
I'll do it so blatantly you'll know. All of us will eventually do it.
No, you will. You will.
At one point in our careers. All right, so here's my thing.
I will, as a joke. Our careers.
Yeah, exactly. I will at some point edit tweets to be funny.
Right. I will not edit tweets because I have made a mistake.

Correct.

Which I never do on Twitter.

Correct.

Or because I want to change a take.

Correct.

The takes as they are will stand forever.

Those might as well be written in blood or cum, like the cover of Metallica's Load album.

But as far as changing something after the fact to make myself look better, not going to happen.

Not going to happen.

I might change it to make myself look worse. Yes.
No, all the time. I'll edit in more mistakes.
Yeah, yeah. All right, so you want to talk about Serena? Yeah, it was epic.
It was... Was she...
How big of an underdog was she? I don't know the line. Plus 200.
Okay, so it was... 220.
Look, there is something very cool about an athlete at the end of their career having that one last stand. I mean, Tiger at the Masters was incredible.
They're all storybook endings, aren't they? Yeah, they are. Aren't they? What? In April, there was a storybook ending, right? Oh, yeah, Coach K.
Good job, Jake. Yeah, no, that's true.
No, no, no. That didn't work out.
Yeah. You're right.
But it is cool to watch these last stands. But I also, like, it wasn't that big of an upset.
She's still Serena Williams, right? Right, but the number two seed you expect. There's a very good chance the run ends here.
Yeah. I wanted to hate it.
I wanted to be like, you know, just like, oh, it's only, you know, it's not a big upset. Serena's still pretty good.
Why are we freaking out about it? And then I checked the Twitter timeline, and you had Rex Chapman and Dan Dockage standing up, applauding for Serena Williams being like, this is incredible. So even my like cold, dried, true heart had to be like, you know what? This is a good moment for sports.
Yeah, no, I saw, I saw it. I tuned in for a little bit of it and I was like, this is not main TV, bottom TV, no sound, but I was like, this is fucking cool.
This is a cool moment. This is why we watch watch sports i was just curious about the game because the gambling side of it like i was actually the reason why i asked or looked it up was because i was gonna be mad at myself if she was like plus 1 000 i didn't bet on yeah because like that would have pissed me off like how did i miss this we also have to take into account that people are probably betting on serena to win more than a normal underdog would be so if she was was not Serena Williams, if she was...
Unseeded versus the number two seed in the second round is usually much more than plus 200. But it was a very cool moment and it was also cool because the whole crowd...
I don't know. Everyone's rooting for her.
Yeah, this poor girl, Annette... I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.
She's a woman. Contevit.
Woman. Sorry.
No one was rooting for her at one point.

She had a shot that was barely in, and the crowd started booing,

and Serena was like doing the finger wag.

Like, don't do that.

To the crowd?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Also simultaneously happening when they had the Timmy Trumpets guy

playing the trumpets for Diaz in Citi Field.

Which, again, the trumpets are so fucking cool,

but you have to be so scared if you're a Mets fan

I'm going to be so scared if you're a Mets fan because that would be mocked. No, but if they lost that game, which I think a lot of Mets fans thought they were going to, it's a one-run game.
It was kind of overblown. They're like, all right, we brought the guy in-house.
They lose that game. He blows that save.
The season's cursed. But now it's like they're going to win the championship.
After that, I was like the Mets are going to win the championship. They put their balls on the line on that one.
We're going to go all in. We're going to have the guy.
I think Steve Cohen paid for him to stay in New York an extra couple days just to do that. And we're going to do this live, and it's going to be incredible.
But knowing the fact that if it doesn't work, if it blows up in our face, the entire season is over. Yeah.
Like, this is going to be something that could be a disaster where he will not even want to hear that song anymore when it comes out. But he's coming back.
They said that he's coming back for the playoffs. Good.
Again, that's scary. That's alarming.
That's my point. It's the coolest entrance right now going in sports.
It is must-see. Every time it happens, it somehow doesn't stop being cool.
I've seen it many times now, and it's still like, this is fucking awesome. But if Timmy the Trumpet guy comes out in a one-run game in October and Edwin Diaz blows the game, the memes and the mocking that's going to come back on the Mets is going to be an avalanche.
Yeah. That's what I like.
Risking it all. I like it.
I like going all in on this, but you're right. You go like, I'm looking ahead and I'm seeing a future where in like the second round of the playoffs and in the NLCS, they lose the deciding game on a Timmy Trumpets game.
Timmy Trumpets? Timmy? I think it's like Tiny Tim. I think it's Timmy Trumpets.
Timmy Trumpets. Timmy Trumpets.
Tommy. Tommy Kennedy.
Timmy Trumpets. Timmy Trumpets.
Timmy Kennedy. Tommy Trumpets.
Thomas Kennedy. Yeah.
Trumpets. If they lose the NLCS on a Trumpets game, that's going to be so fucking funny.
That's kind of what I'm rooting for. I want the Mets to win.
I think that even though they are in the NL East, I'm supposed to have rival, whatever bullshit, I don't care about that stuff. The New York Mets are a fun team to root for this year.
Correct. And with the trumpet factor, I'm rooting for them to go as far as possible while still admitting to myself having them lose in heartbreaking fashion in the playoffs with a live tanya trumpets performance yeah would be the optimal end for their season no the stakes could not be higher because you if you become the darling of the sports world and everyone again besides maybe braves fans everyone's like this is pretty you know yankees.
He doesn't like it. He's a Phillies fan.
But most fans, maybe not in the NL East and the Yankees, think it's a very cool thing. And so if it comes back on them, it's going to be mocking season like you've never seen.
One other slight critique. I think the trumpets should hit when he gets on the field.
Oh, that's like when the drums come in or whatever. Yeah, like it doesn't.
The trumpets don't start until he's already in the infield. Yeah.
Okay. We should maybe send him a letter.
Yeah. I'll tweet at him.
See if they can change that. Also, isn't the song about selling narcotics? No, it's about narcos.
The show. Oh.
The cops. Oh, it's about the...
So he's a cop? No, I don't know.

It's definitely about selling narcotics.

I can't wait for the first person to come out with that take.

Should we really be promoting this?

We're talking about drug distribution?

Who was the Cubs guy? He used to come up to

I'm in love with

I'm in love with the cocaine.

It might not have been that one, but there was a

Cubs guy in the 2016 run who had one one of the most egregious, like short, short, sugar bone. That's pretty good.
Yeah. No, I, are you talking about the, the Warriors did the, I love, I'm in love with the cocoa on the, I'll, I'll, I'll look it up.
I, I think that was a Miami dolphins offensive line. You used to go out into the field to that one.
I've been Castro. No Castro had a different one and he also wasn't on that team but yeah i mean the walk-up songs are cool they should do them in other sports it was definitely one of those nights that was like sports rule yeah because serena and that happening at the same time is like yeah sports fucking rule i love it when when people when a night like that happens and and nobody can find anything to hate on right it's so good yeah it's so good because we so good because that's what we all end up trying to do.
If there's something to hate on on the internet, somebody will find it. They'll figure out a way to hate on it.
But last night seemed like a pure night, like a clean night online. Yeah.
You really get that. There was one guy.
I saw one guy who was getting ratioed to fucking hell. I think he was actually the sports junkies in D.C.
he was like i i just never have liked serena and

then he tried to like double down he's like i like michael jordan i like tiger woods like see i have

black friends i have black yeah like but i don't like this woman i like venus yeah it's like i don't

know man this is one of those nights you just kind of keep it to yourself like this was cool

serena i got the tweet yeah serena's the end yes read it to me serena was often a sore sport and

very ungracious loser when she wins she's awesome she just always rubbed me the wrong way she's the

Thank you. Serena.
I got the tweet. Yeah.
Serena's the end. Yeah.
Read it to me. Serena was often a sore sport and very ungracious loser.
When she wins, she's awesome. She just always rubbed me the wrong way.
She's the greatest of all time though. No doubt.
I just never cared for her. So save that.
Yeah. So save that for that's possible ratio of the year.
What, how many quote tweets on it right now? 1650. Oh, that's pretty good.
That's a lot. Which guy was it? Eric Bickle.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
That's a lot. By the way, tonight.
That was one of those That was one of those moments where it's like, you don't have to share that take. Yeah.
You could just be like, yeah, sports are cool. I mean, we all remember when Serena threatened to hit the ball down the line judge's throat.
That was kind of awesome. There's no more line judges, by the way.
Javi Baez walked out to a song called Snow. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, Javi's just got swag. Yeah, no, it's a great song, but it was like, this is just a song about Kobe.
I kind of like it, though. Yeah, just let it happen.
Yeah. If you have that type of swag, like, there's certain players in baseball that's like, yeah, they can do whatever they want.
They just got swag. I mean, Javi being Javi, like, just swing at everything, make crazy plays, try to steal every base.
And Tigers fans have him for, like, seven years, $350 million. i do need to see tiger in her box more though yeah like for i i think every time can't be that can't be edited that's we need to lock these we need to have some that are like we can't lock we can't edit dude the best part was tiger woods fist pumping her box yeah like the entire box he's he was just he was standing up just ripped his hell just right through the box.
Tonight, there could be some big names. I might be going.
Shout out game time. Venus and Serena in doubles together for the last time.
Whoa. And Nadal.
So it's a sick double ladder. I mean, it's all kind of Mickey Mouse because Djokovic isn't here.
Women's doubles? Yeah, Djokovic would have won that too. Djokovic, he raises the profile of the women's doubles.
That should be fun. See, Djokovic would have won that too.
Djokovic raises the profile of the women's doubles. That should be fun.
I like it. See, Djokovic is a true hero of mine because Serena had threatened the ball person and Djokovic actually just smoked the ball person.
He goes through with his actions. Yeah.
All right. Before we do Mount Rushmore, is Liv playing this weekend? I don't know.
They're in Boston. In Massachusetts.
In Massachusetts, yeah. I feel like Liv Golf is now, it's over.

It fell off because they don't have... Well, they were getting most of their publicity from the PGA Tour.

Right.

That was yelling and crying about how bad Liv was.

But now that the PGA isn't playing, it's like, they don't have anybody to fight.

They wept for there were no more emperors to conquer.

Right, and they're going up against football and none of these tournaments matter right they're like friendlies they're playing friendlies yeah okay i again i'm not saying like the people want their money i'm not judging them i'm just saying i don't think live is on my calendar this weekend of must watch not at all right at all it's funny gary gary player entered the fray yesterday Player he's getting paid by Gulf Saudi Arabia so he is actually like himself personally yeah a spokesperson for the Saudi Arabian government has nothing to do with the live tour he just loves Saudi Arabia that much that he made a special deal with them on the side to be like promote our country right Gary Player came out and said I hate the live tour it's bullshit they're taking these players away from the pga tour and they're ruining these players career so he's he's like so pro saudi arabia that he kind of hates the live tour which doesn't make any sense if you hear it like that but he's he's attacking saudi arabia because he's more pro saudi arabia than they are right and it's it this is what we're finding out, with the Live Tour, and we'll see where it goes, but sports have to mean something. Like we said last night, Serena, if Serena was just playing some rogue tennis tour, everyone would be like, okay, cool.
But it's the US Open. Yeah.
That's something. That means something.
Imagine if there was NFL teams that broke off and they didn't play for the Super Bowl. I would still watch.
Yeah, I'd watch. That one we'd definitely watch.
Actually, if Saudi Arabia really wants to do it, they should figure out a way to just split half of the NFL so we get NFL football all year round. I mean, you're talking about the XFL now.
But no, but actual NFL players. And have a second Super Bowl? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's not bad. Just buy the AFC.
Yeah, Yeah. Half the league.
And just be like, we're just going to play this in the spring. Yeah.
Agreed. Cause then you don't have to deal with, you know, Oh, they're not as good players.
Um, okay. Should we do Mount Rushmore? We have two left.
Uh, Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friends at Paramount. Plus the NFL on CBS is streaming live on Paramount plus all season long, kicking off September 11th.
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Going to have three other postseason games. So check it out right now.
Go sign up with Paramount Plus. And if you're lucky enough, you got the free code or you can listen to the end of the show where we have the lottery ball machine presented by our friends at Paramount Plus.
You need Paramount+. For football this fall.
I like that we're rewarding the people that watch right away. Yeah, exactly.
The first person is going to be like, holy shit, this is me? All right, I'm done. I'm in.
I got it. Free Paramount+.
Paramount+. Kicks ass.
It's got Beavis and Butthead. Yeah.
That's all you need to know. It's got great stuff.
Beavis and Butthead may be the best show of all time. Great kids shows too.
I use Paramount Plus all the time. Okay.
Mount Rushmore of worst people on public transportation. Hank since he has gone solo has put back to back 13% votes.
Consistent. Today it was 12.
12? Oh 13 then 12. So he's getting worse.
Jake was such an alpha move right there, being factually correct, but completely unnecessarily burying Hank. This is the penultimate Mount Rushmore.
Okay, penultimate Mount Rushmore. Who should we have go first? I think maybe we've got a deep roster.
Yeah, maybe go Hank and then Jilly and then us. If Hank has bullets himself again, then just, yeah.
You give Hank as much rope as he wants, and he'll just hang himself. So yeah, go Hank and then Jilly and then us.
If Hank has bullets himself again, then just, yeah.

You give Hank as much rope as he wants and he'll just hang himself.

So, yeah, go ahead, Hank.

I actually had someone text me.

It was like a friend of mine who listens to the show but not super into the internet.

He's like, did he pick the terrorist organization?

Like, no, he picked Hasbulla.

So that's how bad the pick was. Hezbollah.
So that's how bad the pick was.

Hezbollah.

Worst people on public transport.

ISIS.

Come on.

Let's go.

I mean, you can make the argument.

That's actually a good fuck.

I can't believe I gave it away.

You gave that away.

The person who plays music with no headphones. Okay.
Okay. Good choice.
Thank you. Good choice.
Hank's still on edge right now. No, I'm not.
Yeah, you're looking around. You got to shift your eyes.
I don't have an edge. I've lost my edge.
You're dull? You have no edge left? I'm edgeless. You're smooth.
Damn. What's happened to our boy? Someone tweeted me this morning, PFT.
I was like, when Mount Rushmore season's over, will you stop bullying Hank? And I was like, he tweeted both of us. I was like, no.
Hank bullies himself. No, I mean, listen, I don't have an edge, and I'm excited for football to come back and, you know, positive vibes and all that shit.
But you guys destroyed Mount Rushmore forever. You took a bunch of dynamite and blew it up last year.
I think this has been an incredible Mount Rushmore season. When you threw the pizza toppings Mount Rushmore, you turned Mount Rushmore into the Live Tour.
This is just an exhibition, and that's fine. I noticed that your reasons for us ruining Mount Rushmore have changed.
No, that's always been it. Oh, that.
I think this has been a very funny, very good Mount Rushmore season. Yeah, but whatever.
Whatever.

Yeah, you're right.

It's been great.

The feedback that we've gotten has been tremendous.

I agree.

I'm happy.

If you guys are happy, I'm happy.

Okay, then Hank's happy.

Great.

Hank, you're happier than all of us.

Are you happy?

Yeah.

I'm very happy.

I'm thrilled.

Are you happy, Billy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Billy, you've put up two dubs in the last 16.

Max, are you happy?

I'm the most happy. Yeah, because he's not with Hank anymore.
Sounds like the vibes are great here. We're all happy.
I'm thinking of taking terrorists for the first pick. I mean, it's not a bad pick.
I kind of want to go with it. They are the worst people on public transport.
No, that is not our pick. Okay, what is your pick? Who's the alpha on this team, Billy? Max, did any stick out to you? I feel like they're all pretty similar.
Yeah, I don't know. I was here to Sour Post.
I'd say maybe figure this out before we start recording, but I'm not going to say that. I'm happy you guys are just doing this live.
Hank's just angry because he's losing. We're going to go with...
Tune into the disc golf video today. Oh, yes, yes.
Talk about it. When is that coming out? It comes out.
It's out now if you're listening or listening. It's already out.
It's maybe. Let's talk about happy times.
It's so much worse than I remember it. It's so bad.
It's so bad. I've never seen Hank and Jake at more odds than this video.
It's great. The NWLs will love it.
It was so great, too, because it was. I remember vividly.
It was the end of grit week. And I was just like ready to go home and see my family.

Very last day, like right before we went to the plane.

So everyone was so on edge.

And like it was like it was legitimate tension.

I was just like watching these guys.

I wasn't on edge at all.

But I think Jake was a little on edge because he didn't have as much water as he would have.

My car back broke right before.

Yeah.

So Jake had had to make do playing like nine holes in mini golf with two giant water bottles. And he was stressed out about that.
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Stressed out about the sun.
It's a terrible spot to be in. Yeah.
And Jake, you know, Jake is not really a road dog. There are things about road life that I think affect Jake's day-to-day schedules more than it affects really messy unorganized people like myself so at the end of this he was he was on edge and Hank knows exactly how to get under his skin and also vice versa so check it out it was great it was I think there was a moment where I talked to PFT on the side and I was just like these like Jake it hasn't been on seven grit weeks you know at the the end of grit week, you just got to just kind of shut up and go home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But we were good right afterwards.

We're great.

We're great.

We're happy.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Here we go.

Everyone's happy. Your second pick.

By the way, this entire conversation, the entire time, Billy's just been thinking about

terrorists on a fucking train in his head. He's been Mark walbering himself being like i'd take him down so fast okay here we go all right we're gonna go with uh person who talks on the phone on speaker yep okay okay it's just so unnecessary no one cares that was our second pick too yeah um okay what do we want to do i think we got a terrorist i want yeah let's go terrorist yeah'll go to the terrorists are far the worst I can't believe that you guys didn't take terrorists like there's nothing worse than a terrorist on a public transportation really bad time yeah just a really really bad time okay and then our second pick will be the guy who poops and you get on the train and it just smells like shit and it's just like oh just like, oh, fuck.
You always show up on that train. You're like, oh, nice.
A lot of seats. Jersey Jerry? No, no.
Yeah, well, it could be. Yeah.
I think we were thinking of the guy that maybe has already pooped when you get on the train. Right.
Oh, that's why nobody is. That's the people that got on the train after Jersey Jerry.
No one's at that end of the train. Right.
You hop on, you're like, free seat. And then you get on, and you're like, oh, fuck.
That's why no one's sitting near here, because there's poop.

So, yeah, Jersey Jerry.

I can't believe you guys talked me out of terrorists.

Yeah, I mean, that was a great pick by us.

I honestly don't think that we need to pick again.

I think terrorists and poop guys.

How can you say, like, what would you say?

Like, oh, no, this person is listening to music too loud.

Oh, no, this person's trying to kill us all.

Which one's worse?

What kind of music is it okay you're i'm actually taking charge this next one uh uh drunken disorderly puker yes the drunk guy who pukes on the train yep yeah it's a it's a cousin of the poop guy yeah you. You're just like, well, this ruins the whole train car.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good one.

Have you ever been that guy?

Have you ever been that guy?

That was a yes.

That was an extreme.

No, I am. Good job, Billy.

I go between the cars and puke and pee and poop.

Nice.

Because I risk my life.

That's illegal.

When are you big on the laws yeah okay Hank um

yeah you wish you had tourists no I know and I want to say something else but now I'm like oh I

don't want to like go over the top well just what could be more over the top rapists oh yeah that

was yeah that was free yeah but it's gonna look bad being the second pick that yeah yeah you wait

I'm sorry. Rapists.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that was free.
Yeah, but it's going to look bad being the second pick that you had. Yeah, that's true.
Wait, is Hank's order of crimes listening to music too loudly rape? No, no headphones. Yeah, no, that, whatever.
By the way, can I, because we're in the trust tree, this is weird to say right after you said rapist is your pick, but've i've caught myself a couple times not having headphones and listening like i don't do it on the train but walking down the street i'll just have it on like a podcast if i'm trying to listen for a couple blocks yeah do you do the move where you hold it up kind of a power move i always hold it like kind of close but you could definitely hear it i don't know i think i'm kind of into it after being in the podcast for so long, I know that there's so many times where we say something on this show that I would not want somebody to listen to me listening to on speakerphone. So I just always go like right up to the ear.
Yeah, yeah. Very, very low.
I mean, I have something that it's probably gonna make me sound like an absolute freak. But I think about this all the time when I'm on public transportation.
And it like if i could i could pick a superpower it wouldn't be like the greatest superpower in the world but i wish that i could know what other people are listening to like you ever just look at the people you're on the train with you're like what is that person listening yeah what is that person listening to what is that person listening to it'd be so interesting it would like that i've always thought i'm always just like what is like are they listening to music listen to podcasts like you know size them up i've thought a cool thing would be if you had that feature if you were in a car on the highway and you get to know what every other car around you cool too what they have on yes and then you see the person who's not listening to anything you like stay away from them yeah yeah um so yeah rapist bad and then we'll go with... Long story short.
Yeah. Long story short.
Similar vein. The person that puts their bag on an open seat next to them.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. I had that next.
Good pick. Okay.
Thanks, Jake. You guys have a pick.
Should we go with, like, the worst person Oh, worse than terrorists. We're going to go with your first one.
Would you like to announce it? Oh, Mike, my bad. Someone who eats warm food or just food.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's a good one. That is a very good one.
Okay. What do we want to do? Joe Biden's not a bad pick.
He used to take the train all the time, right? Yeah, that's true. Peter King, he's a big train guy.
Huge train guy. Half of his football column would be about the Acela.
And Al Gash White. I think four, actually.
So I was thinking more. I know it's an iteration, but it's more the guy standing.
Names has been asking to do this about Rushmore for like a month. He contributed.
Okay. I think it's the guy standing.
Or we could do number eight. That guy sucks too.
Ooh, eight's bad. Yep.
Four's bad. And you know what? Eleven.
Eleven's bad too. All right.
So our next pick will be the person who doesn't let people get off before they get on. Just doesn't listen to the most basic rules of decorum where they're just trying to shove their way on before everyone get off.
And it just fucks up the whole flow. It jams people up.
The traffic jam goes all the way back to the inside of the train, like the middle of the train. The worst.
The worst. All right, and then whatever you want to go.
I think I go eight.

Okay.

I like that.

We're going to go huge bike guy.

Huge bike guy.

The guy that's standing there with his giant bike

that he could be riding at this exact time,

but instead he's choosing to take up space

for about seven or eight other people

that could be on that train.

It's like you have the means of transportation.

That's only if it's crowded.

But, I mean, yeah.

I mean, this is...

Public transportation.

Yeah, right.

It's pretty much always crowded.

Yeah, so if any of these,

you could say if it was like an empty train,

no big deal.

You know. the means of transportation.
That's only if it's crowded. But I mean, yeah.
I mean, this is... Public transportation.
Yeah, right. It's pretty much always crowded.
Yeah, so if any of these, you could say if it was like an empty train, no big deal. Yeah, like if I was on an empty train with a terrorist, it'd be like, well, I can only kill one person.
I guess I'll skip today. Yep.
Right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean...
Not worth his time. Right.
So, our pick? Yes. So, we're going to go with aggressive panhandler.
Okay. Like, it's okay if you're down, but if you're aggressive, getting people's faces, like, almost shaking them down with the use of intimidation, that sucks.
Yeah, that does suck. That definitely sucks.
There with yelling. Yep.
The yelling. Yep.
I got spat on by a guy. Yeah, that's right.
You didn't do anything, you pussy. I didn't.
I bucked and then I took a step back and I was like, it's not going to yelling. I got spat on by a guy.
Yeah, that's right. You didn't do anything, you pussy.
I didn't. Well, I bucked.
And then I took a step back and I was like, you know what? It's not worth it. That's one of those moments where it's like, oh man, I would fuck someone up and spit on me and then when it happens in reality, you just don't do anything.
You're just shocked. I don't want to do anything here.
There's nothing I can do. Okay.
Hank, last pick. My last pick, when I used to live in Williamsburg, there was always entertainers because it's a long subway ride from the Williamsburg stop to the Manhattan.
So people like the entertainers would basically just get on, go to Manhattan, and then go back reverse because it's like a 10 minute stop you can do like kind of a performance right so i i dealt with this a lot and some people are good i enjoy the people that dance even though you know they borderline you're like maybe this person's gonna kick someone in the face like that'd be awesome maybe they're maybe they're doing some cool shit it's fun the hat guy that's always bouncing the hat around yeah like i have no problem with that i enjoy it it's it's nice little mix up you know-day work. You get a little entertainment.
But by far the worst is a bad singer. Someone who comes on and they're just going through the motions, they'll sing for two seconds, then walk around expecting money, or they're just bad.
They're not doing it to entertain. They're just doing it because they think they can panhandle and just get a little money, and it's just brutal.
Bad Bad singers or when they're singing Right next to you and you Like have your headphones in and it's like You can't even hear your music you can't block Them out yeah I agree with that We had that on our list as well I think we Talked about this on the show one time about How some of our biggest fears Are we end up in a Viral video oh yeah that's mine it's like a a world-class musician yep playing the most expensive violin ever created and people just walking past them and not paying attention and then you end up on the internet be like look what society has become look at all these assholes and then you're one of those guys yeah that does that's i think that might have been on like irrational fears mount rush war yeah that that i think about constantly yeah yeah I'll just stop and stand there for two minutes just in case. All right.
So what, what do we miss? I, so you had a backpack on the seat guy. I think there's a different one, a cousin of that.
It's big backpack guy when you're standing and they don't do the thing where they put it in front. That sucks.
That always sucks. Memes texted, Gay Spanish guy who takes acid and starts pretending to touch people.
Then the guy he pretends to touch beats the shit out of him, making a huge scene. What? That seems pretty specific.
So which one? So both of them? Yeah, I don't know. I think he's going after the guy that got beat up.
Yeah. Memes? Yeah, we didn't use that one.
No, we didn't use that one. I think that has to have been a meme.
I don't know said it's all from personal experience oh okay the person who pushes you in front of a moving train in season two of a tv show because your dc politics blog is getting too close to figuring out your plan to go from house whip to president that guy sucks probably sucks in real life spoiler house cards we can't watch it anymore um a guy who jumps in front of the train and delays everyone. So that happened three days in a row on the PATH train.
A guy died? The same guy? That guy sucks. Am I not right, Hank? It was ridiculous.
That's how Hank and I ended up on the ferry. Yeah, some comedian had a bit about it where it was just like, that's how cold people in New York are.
It's like they'll come over the intercom being like, yeah, we have an incident.

Someone has jumped in front of the train.

And everyone's like, damn.

Fuck.

I'm going to miss my meeting.

It's like, yeah, someone died.

Maybe if they were more considerate in life.

Yeah.

What about the guy that yawns really loudly and strangely on a train? Probably tired. Yeah.
The Mets fan that screams. Oh, fuck.
We forgot the biggest one. Don't take public transportation.
Yeah. Jerk-off guy.
Oh, yeah. Guy jerking off in the middle of the subway.
I kind of like that. That's how you officially become a New Yorker.
It's the first time you encounter a jerk off guy yeah yeah and it doesn't phase you no it's the it's the you don't become a new yorker until it doesn't phase you because i remember the first time and i was like whoa and then there was during covid there was like a dude who i i'm pretty sure just jerked off every day at the corner of our office and i just see him every day just like all right cool i was out uh do your

thing i was out for a run this was like a year ago i may have told you about this and i i come

around the corner and there's a guy that's standing on the sidewalk you came around the

corner yeah billy i came around the corner so i i was i was out for a jog i was coming around the

corner and this guy looks at me it's kind of a secluded spot that he's in so it's not like a

super public part of the road and he looks at me and he's surprised because i'm coming around the corner and he's like oh no because he's nutting he's starting to nut just as i come around the corner and i stop i'm like oh my god and i run and i hear his his sperm hit the cardboard box that's in front of him it was fucking disgusting i don I don't think as many years as you can live in New York, you'll never be desensitized to hearing another man come. No, definitely not.
You guys can't. I guess this would be related to the guy who's masturbating.
He's PDA people. People are just making out in everyone's face.
What else do we have? Oh, I did say, yeah, the big Mets fan, both literally and figuratively, who just screams at everyone whenever there's a delay. Yep.
Incompetent. Not anyone specific, but that guy.
Let's see, who else do we have? I do love that guy. The one he did the other day, I just respect his lack of giving a fuck, where it got delayed, and he just whipped out his cell phone and was screaming and like there's people like from me and jake's distance and he was like panning around like people you know it's awkward we're all in this it's awkward to pull your cell phone out and like start talking and ranting like usually you try and do it somewhere privately like he just busted his phone out was just like screaming and the people were just standing there like, hello? Yeah, right.
We're all just stuck here. This sucks.
Yeah. Body odor guy.
Yeah. Terrible.
Smelly person. Terrible.
I think that was it for our whole list. Oh, the person who just doesn't know how to ride the train and doesn't hold on.
And then you get a stop and they just like fucking... Domino.
Yeah, they just hit everyone like a bowling ball. I do that, but I brace my feet because I don't want to touch the poles.
Oh my God. Especially during COVID.
So you are that guy. Yeah, but I don't fly.
You go surfing. You go swag subway surfing.
But you definitely fly sometimes. No.
Really? I've never flown. Okay.
You're going to. You just jinx yourself.
Yep. You announcers jinx yourself.
It's definitely going to happen. We'll see.
Yeah. I used to have a big problem differentiating tourists and terrorists when I was much younger, and I used to use them in the wrong places.
What? Were you talking about like last month? Much younger? No, like I was younger. Like the words.
Like, are those tourists or terrorists? And I'd point it, yeah, when. It was really bad.
Are you saying you didn't know the difference between the words or you saw somebody like a tourist with a map and a camera and you're like, they're a terrorist? I would mix it up. Because they're kind of easy to mix up.
Tourist, terrorist. Also, I can understand, like, my son is now at the age where he just says stuff out loud.
Like like we saw twins the other day and he just like said out loud like what are those i like that i'm just like okay cool so yeah i get it i get what you're saying billy yeah i used to ride the bus with my grandmother sometimes and and there were some nuns on the bus and she told me that there were witches oh that was good that fucked me up for a few years yeah fucking rold dahl's witches movie that fucked me up for a while i watched that way too young that's probably why i hate sister gene actually yeah dude i think i saw that movie when i was like seven and that movie is not for seven year olds um okay good mount rushmore last one on tuesday team team hank will have a super team it'll be team Squared with Tom Fernelli. Alright, PFT, you got a quick word before we get to Jerry O'Connell.
Yeah. Incredible fantasy football preview.
Before we get to JOC, he's brought to you by GameTime. Jake's about to use GameTime to go to the U.S.
Open this weekend. We've all used GameTime here.
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Download GameTime, last-minute tickets, the lowest price guaranteed. Now, here's our great friend, Jerry O'Connell.
Okay, it is one of our favorite guests, favorite people in the world. The AWL has been clamoring for this.
It is our good, good friend, Jerry O'Connell. J-O-C.
J-O-C for our fantasy football preview. I'm actually technically an AWL.
I mean, I know that AWL is clamoring for it, but I am. Yeah, have you been clamoring for yourself? Actually, I was shocked to hear how many people are basing.
I mean, it's a joke because I have no authority in the fantasy football world at all. If you listen to these podcasts, these people crunch numbers and everything and understand about defenses and offenses and contract negotiations and whether Lamar Jackson, where Lamar Jackson is in his own negotiations and all that sort of stuff.
But I have no, like, I don't have a degree in this at all. Yeah, but you have strong opinions, Jerry.
And the thing is, like, I saw somebody tweet this the other day. day.
I'm excited to hear what 30 players should be eligible to be drafted in fantasy football because you hate so many teams. Yeah, what 16 teams are we not drafting anyone from? Well, actually, I do have a lot of negativity toward a majority of the league.
You're correct. And it just comes from experience of being let down year after year uh in fantasy football um you know i've said this on your show before and i'll say it again the last time i won fantasy football derrick anderson braylon edwards and maurice jones drew were my starters And so that was before a lot of your listeners were born.
But I think that's very relatable. They don't even know.
Like nobody wins fancy football. I'm convinced that nobody actually wins in this sport because I never win either.
But fellas, fellas, we had a really good draft last night. I got to say, that CJ McCollum draft, they were really drafting, you know, they were just, they were just drafting whatever the website was saying, oh, this is the next valuable player.

But I have spent thousands of dollars on programs and sites, and I've done research, and I was picking the most perfect picks for you and your fantasy league last night i really appreciate you doing this i really invested not only a lot of my time but a lot of my money and i really had to sift through when you're getting help from fantasy sites some of them you know i just click on all them i get a little tipsy at night and i'm like oh this looks good and you'll click on it and you'll give them your credit card which is just it's just such a mistake because it's like it's like joining like a vitamin like uh a vitamin like um program where they keep charging you for vitamins and you like literally have to like get a lawyer to get them to stop. You could just say only fans.
We know that you signed up for only fans and then you just always every day when they're like, Hey, look at these new pictures. And you're just like, all right, hit it, hit it, hit it.
It's okay. Well, it's just difficult too, because I'm not going to mention any specific sites, but you mentioned that site, like your family then can see on your credit card bill, what you're paying for.
And then it's brought up in front of your children and it just becomes a thing, you know, that'd be a very embarrassing credit card report to be read aloud in a court of law. If it ever comes to that situation where it's like 17 different sites.
It's more like, it's more like's more like therapy like therapists like yeah all right so therapists that's like embarrassing when there's evidence when there's evidence like you have to be careful there's paper trails but um you know i joined one i joined one fantasy like guidance site and i could just tell they were like from Chechnya and like they were like yes you will draft thorman thomas draft win your league in 1992 yeah wait so jerry yes this is the jim kelly is the best quarterback for your team this season you We need social security number for your fantasy league and date of birth and mother's maiden name. There's only one person that we were going to ask to be the general manager of our team.
We tried to do it last year. I sent you on a wild goose chase for that draft.
I apologize for that one. That was a debacle.
You spent probably hours a computer waiting to get the right information i couldn't get it to you but it doesn't matter i did go to a fedex office and uh it was uh me just uh punching the screen in the fedex office and people recording me and saying look at this look at this on house person going yeah you end up on tmz somebody taking a cell phone video jerry o'connell breaks the fedex office clean open because he's frustrated he can't log into his fantasy draft. But we should say, Jerry, this is a real league.
So, CJ McCollum's league, everyone here in this room, in part of my take room, we're paying real money. I think it's $2,500.
It's real money. You're our general manager.
So, why don't you – we have no idea who you drafted. why don't we go down the list and give us who you drafted and tell us your reasoning behind it and then we can do some big picture stuff for the people at home.
Alright, you have it in front of you? No, you're going to break the news to us. We haven't checked it.
I don't know if you know any of the other players in the league, but the ones that you might know, Julius Randleall is in that league and then turtle jerry ferrara is in the league as well yeah heard of all those guys so so yeah we'll let you break the news to us because i don't i have no idea who you drafted i'm just excited as you were last night this is like unveiling it to me all right here we go uh first of all my team's name is jerry's kids which uh those who may or may not remember, they were special needs children. Isn't that what? So it's a joke I've heard a lot.
Isn't that Jerry Sandusky's? No, that was Jerry Lewis. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, that was the first mile or something. Okay, all right.
I just want to make sure. So with my first pick last night, I took the Derrick Henry.
Now, I had a choice between Derrick Henry or Dalvin Cook. And I had Dalvin Cook in another league last season, and he didn't really produce.
I'm sorry. He did on one like Thursday night game against the Cardinals in like week 18 when it didn't matter.
And I just, the computers were telling me to take Dalvin, but I went with Derek Henry. He's just, and he gets to play against the Jaguars twice and the Texans twice.
Yeah. So that's always good.

Okay.

And they don't have really, I mean, as far as I'm concerned,

any other weapons other than him.

So he's going to see a lot of production. So I took Derrick Henry as your first pick, and I felt very good about it.

Tractor Cito.

That's his nickname.

Very cool.

Yeah.

For your second pick, I took Brees Hall because because i love the jets i'm kidding everyone no but that's you you would take that that's not crazy you thought about taking yeah no uh for your second pick i took um and i'm with uh i'm with bc on this one um uh i took javanta williams uh ionta Williams. I'm with BC here, and I believe the Broncos are going to have a pretty epic season.
I think it's going to be an offensive powerhouse. I also have a theory about the Broncos.
Because the air is thin up there, they just air it out. And McManus is just kicking field goals and just wilson is just throwing it in the air and the ball travels farther because it's so yeah okay so we're going so there is people that say the zero running back strategy we're going with all running back strategy listen i'm an old school gentleman i draft two running backs in the first two rounds that's how i go and i'm not drafting a tight end until the fifth round that's how I am I'm old school I came up on fantasy when you would have to open up the paper Monday morning and check your stats and then you would do the math and tell the rest of the team how you did I'm an old school fellow a lot of these kids have their apps have their websites that's not how I roll they're drafting in a lot of leagues Justin Herbert has been going to third and fourth pick.
That's not how I do it. I'm an old school fantasy football player.
Old school. You're a smash mouth.
You're a smash mouth guy. But what would you say to the people that are like, hey, Jerry, yeah, they throw the ball a lot in Denver.
They like to air it out. A lot of points being put up by Russell Wilson,

as you actually just said that a second ago.

But Javante Williams is a running back.

Yeah.

So I don't know how that – I trust you.

Listen, a lot of kids do, you know, stupid things these days.

They do, you know, Tide Pod challenges as well.

Does that mean I should go do a Tide Pod challenge? Like, no, I don't care what the kids are doing. This is like this is how I roll.
You made me look. I mean, I know you had Coach Arians on the other day.
He was like real old school. I'm old school.
I'm old school. Run the damn ball.
I like it. Sorry.
You're getting two running backs. Okay.
All right. With your third pick, I took Keenan Allen.

It's so funny.

I had some options here.

Justin Herbert went.

I had a shot to go for Josh Allen,

but the computers were telling me it was a little more of a stretch to grab him.

But I went with Keenan Allen.

I'm going to tell you in a moment who everyone should and shouldn't be drafting. I should say this is just my opinion.
Please don't write me after this and say you lost your league because of this advice. This is just...
I mean, this is a bad time to tell you this, but it's just sort of like whimsical. It's by my whims.
I have no proof as to these results or numbers or anything. Whereas if you listen to a real fantasy football podcast, they have numbers to back things up.
This is just based on my anger in fantasy football. Yeah, how many teams in this league? 12? 12.
12, okay, all right. I was just looking because I was just trying to figure it out.
Javante Williams ranked, you know, he's a tier 3 running back. We got him in the second round though.
That's pretty good value, right? You know, I want to apologize. I may have taken...
No. Yeah, we got him in the second.
Alright, so let's go to round 4. That's totally fine.
Listen, you probably would have taken him in the first. But, you know, I had to circle back, and it's that circle back you get so scared of somebody else.
Like, God forbid Jerry Ferreira picks him up or something. Yeah, so what pick did we have? Were we – Derek Henry, what was he like? Six.
So that's six. That's where you got bad luck with the draft order.
You don't want to be six. Yeah.
I think six is a good place to be. I'm not taking Christian McCaffrey.
I'm not doing that. I'm not taking Najee Harris.
I'm not. I like six.
All right. So round four.
Round three. We're at.
I took Keenan out okay round four um well this is where you are gonna get a little upset I did take uh I'm so sorry I told you guys I have to have I have to have one jet on my team damn it I can't take Zach Wilson who knows what's gonna happen there it's probably gonna be Flacco we we gotta have a jet I gotta do it for Billy. I got to do it for – we got to have a Jet.
I mean, we're going to watch the first two Jets games anyway, so we might as well see what – Okay, so that's actually a fair strategy. I like that.
Looking at what teams will be in primetime at the start of the year, where we're going to have to watch their games, and then drafting players from those teams. I like that because it just, it makes it a little bit more fun.

The Jets are never going to be on prime time. They're never, I mean, I live on the West Coast.

Those games, usually the games start at 10 a.m., which is an awesome reason to move to the West Coast, by the way, everyone.

Because you wake up and there's football happening immediately.

You don't have that three-hour window where you're still shaking from the night before and you don't know what to do with yourself um there's like no excuses you can jump right into football um but um i just have you guys know my rules i have to have a brown and i have to have a jet you know your rules and i have to have jags i'm looking right now um yes the jets do have a prime time game week 16 thursday night against the jaguars oh love it that's gonna be a hell of. Week 16, Thursday night against the Jaguars.

Oh, love it.

That's going to be a hell of a game.

Week 16?

Against the Jaguars.

Week 16. Thursday night against the Jaguars.

That is their primetime race.

I'm calling it right now.

Ratings to the room.

Brees Hall is going to go off that game.

Better make sure my Amazon Prime is up in date.

All right.

All right.

So we have three running backs in four rounds.

Tell me who we got in round five.

Not another running back.

No, we actually went Joe.

Okay, good.

Good.

Um, uh, I just, uh, I just like having, there's really only like three or four quarterbacks. I wanted.
You know, Russell Wilson's been going late in a lot of these. I don't know.
He's just – it's a sexy pick, you know. We love Joe.
It's a sexy pick. It's a sexy pick.
Yes. Okay.
This will feel like we're moving in the right direction here. Then things got little uh dicey um because the computers were starting to like say different things for me because i have a number of websites that are giving me live uh live information as to who i should be picking so the numbers were it's sort of like it was like crypto it was like i didn't understand so like high speed transactions you pay for so many services that will actually coach you through your draft yeah it was slowing down your computer it was also probably confusing because in round six they were probably like now's a good time to take breeze hall um you're gonna be really upset um but uh i was afraid he was gonna uh leave us and get uh taken off board.
I took Melvin Gordon next because I really want to handcuff Javante. No, no, no.
I understand the logic. Okay.
So we now have a handcuff in round three. You're going to laugh.
But when Javante Williams, when he pulls a hamstring week two, we're going to be kissing Jerry's toes. Smart to get a handcuff.
Yeah. Of our backup running back.
yeah you know because I have BC uh first of all I want to thank you for your confidence but BC okay all right come on man you put me in charge of this like let me own it I'll be positive but I just want to just remind everyone I have a feeling that our starting running backs are gonna be Derek Henry and B Brees Hall because of the Jets stuff. So now we have on our bench a handcuff.
We can put one as a wide receiver. Yeah, but he is going in about the fifth round.
Good value. Great value.
Great job. Fleeced.
You know, I just want to say I'm not going to doubt myself because that's some like Derek Blau stuff when you're like kind of shaky and like, oh, gosh, oh, gosh. I'm not doing that.
Like I stand by these decisions. Like some of these other, you know, Julius Randall and Jerry Ferreira and CJ McCollum, they were like picking all over the place.
And I wanted to make sure that I had a handcuff just in case. You know, last season, because it was auto-picked and we had the first pick, it chose Christian McCaffreyery and i didn't have chubba hubbard on my team when he went down and one of the other goofballs in this league already had him and we were we were fucked hard fucked in right in the dick in the butt yeah i mean it was it really screwed up our season so i'm not letting that happen again you know i also part of my job as your manager as your gm is to protect you i'm here to protect you and if javanta goes down which is a possibility because the air is thin up there.

Don't know what that has to do with whether bones are brittle or not.

But like I just want to protect you. Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Okay.

Seventh round.

If you took Michael Carter, I'm going to kill you.

Seventh round.

Seventh round.

I took –

Oh, I took – You're going to be a little upset because he is questionable, but I took Jalen Waddell. He was still on the board in the seventh round.
I don't hate it. I like him in that offense.
Yeah, and he's got the cool dance, the touchdown dance. And by the way, it's a bargain.
He was there in the seventh round. I just – I had to take him.
The computers were yelling at me in Chechnya. Um, uh, okay.
Um, then, uh, oh, this was interesting. Um, this was interesting.
I saw him up there and also BC, I agree with you. I think he's going to have a good season.
I took Kirk Cousins next. I know we have Joe Burrow.
I know. I know.
Jerry, who are these guys going to throw to? Listen. Why is he saying that he trusted you on this? And I don't know when I say all these things.
I don't know. Kirk Cousins, that motherfucker.
You talk a lot about Kirk Cousins having a good season and talking about Kevin O o'connell by the way he's being coached by you know okay you're right you're right you're right you're right that is you have to do that your brother coaches the vikings you have to do it and someone could trade us for him i just like yeah he's just too valuable and also i saw that a lot of other people in back of me in the eighth round hadn't drafted a quarterback yet. And I wanted him there.
Someone's going to offer us a trade. All right.
After that, Hollywood Brown, he was still in like the ninth round or tenth round. That's a deal.
A steal. Then I think I took Dawson Knox because I had to get a tight end in there.
And you're about to hear I love Buffalo. And then I – oh, Traylon Burks was still on the board, so I took him next.
Sky Moore I think was my 11th or 12th rounder. I like that.
And then I had to handcuff. You know, guys, I'm all about protecting you and handcuffing.
So I got Hassan Haskins, who's that running back over at Tennessee, to handcuff with Derrick Henry in case he breaks his door again. See, you had a couple blips, but I feel like you corrected yourself here.
And then at that point, my wife was yelling at me

because the draft went on a little long.

I mean, wow, Julius Randall really takes the entire two minutes

that he gets.

And I was yelling at me, and I had to go on auto draft,

so I didn't get a kicker.

But good news, on the waiver wire,

we have a claim in for Mr. Crisscross Applesauce himself, Rodrigo Blanco, who I think is going to be the kicker for this season.
I like that a lot, Jerry. I like him as a kicker.
He wears cool glasses. And again, it goes back to my strategy of AFC South players.
if you get somebody from the Colts or you get somebody from the Titans or you get one of their two defenses that you can pick up maybe off the waiver wire whenever they play against the Texans or the Jaguars, I think that's good to have. Yeah, you know, I did have Mr.
Blankenship on a few of my teams last season. And when he did decide to sit out that game and sort of just angrily pout on the sidelines,

I know he was injured.

It made me feel hatred for him.

And like now when I see him in those glasses

or even any mention of him,

it made me angry at him.

But I don't know.

I'm willing to give him another shot.

Okay, you got a good heart.

And a lot of the computers say

he's going to be kicker for this season. That sounds good.
And what we have to remember here is it's a 12-person league, so it's a lot of depth in this league. So I don't hate that lineup.
I don't hate Kirk Cousins as a player. I have a deep-seated hatred for him.
So I don't actually hate him. It's just personal at this point.
Well, because – Is it something to do's something to do with yeah with the commanders and everything that happened while he was the quarterback there i also just think he's kind of a nerd but that's fine i think he'll probably have a decent year with your brother i think you're conflating people's beliefs with being nerdy and there's nothing wrong with being yeah i mean have you seen how he cooks steak, though? He puts aluminum foil down on the grill.

How you like that?

The only thing that really annoyed me was when he was in the tunnel going,

you like that?

That was a little weird.

Yeah, I heard he brought it back, though.

I heard he did that in practice at some point this year.

So, I don't know.

We might have swagging.

You're supposed to act like you've been there.

We're going to get back to JOC in a second.

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Additional terms apply. Now, here's more Jerry O'Connell.
All right. Can I go through players? Yeah, let's get your do not list.
Please. What's on your do not list this year? Okay.
Okay.

The NFC West, Let's start with the NFC West because I live here in Los Angeles. No Rams.
No Rams at all. Not one.
Why is that? I'm going to tell you why. I live in Los Angeles.
I've lived here for over two decades. And I have never met a Rams fan ever until about seven months ago.
And for example, my agent who knows nothing. I've never talked to my agent about football ever, ever.
And you guys know, I come on your show, I talk football. I'm a football guy.
And he just wants to talk about the Rams with me now. But he wants to talk about it in an annoying way Like I'll call him on the phone and he'll be like, Hey Jeff.
And I mean, like you got that wrong. It's Jerry.
And he'll say, Hey, you guys, I know you love football. How about, uh, how about our Rams? I bleed, I believe blue and yellow now it's crazy Odell right Cooper

they're hot

and I bleed blue and yellow now. It's crazy.
Odell, right? Cooper. They're hot.
And Los Angeles, it's a town of bandwagoners. It just drives me crazy.
It drives me crazy. And I can't root for any of them.
It's not real. It's not a real dedication.
It's not a lifelong dedication. It's fraudulent points.
Whenever Cooper Cupp scores a touchdown, it's the tree falling in the forest. Yeah, it doesn't mean anything.
Yeah. And they get amazing seats, and they don't pay for them, and they give them to every other client except for me.
So I'm a boy. You're right.
You'd rather rather watch breeze hall lose five yards on a carry than cooper cup uh cooper cup score 90 yard touchdown i that's real football you're so shady yesterday or wednesday was so shady when you were talking to coach and you were like oh yeah uh um uh not drew lock um andrew luck yeah he uh he he got he had to tackle a lot after he got after he got intercepted.

You're so shady. I love all the shady stuff.
But, you know, also, I will say this coach McVay. something that annoys me about him a little bit

I have a friend

who

he like gets his hair

done and every time he walks past a mirror he makes like a face and he like looks in the mirror and he just pushes up the front of his hair like he just gets it perfect and then he does like a look like yeah you've got like coach mcveigh looks like he just spends like a good 20 minutes on his hair before every game, you know? And it's just like that's not what I want from a coach. I want someone who's got a dip in his mouth and is crying, you know? I want – Yeah, you want to root for the – Coach Campbell doesn't.
You want to root for the Lions, not the Rams. Right, right.
And we've told this story before, Jerry, but we – Seancveigh came up to pft and i in indianapolis at the combine and was like what do you got against my beard because we we had made fun of his beard and that's what you're saying like we don't we want to we want coaches we make fun of like arthur smith we made fun of his chin and he took it on well he doesn't have a chin but he took it on wherever his chin should be his neck yeah i will say um uh and i should say it's a little scary because coach mcfay does live you know where i live in calabasas in los angeles where all the kardashians are from um coach mcfay lives around there i don't want to get in trouble but I have seen him. And he lives in the more wealthy section.
I'm in more like – I'm in ghetto. I'm in the lower income area of Calabasas.
I'm not in a gated community. But there is a small gate, but I put it up.
I got it just from Home Depot. I put it up.
It's like chicken wire. But I'm afraid if I do see him, I don't know, like in and out or something, he's going to get in my face.
But he does look a little boy bandy, just a touch. It's interesting you bring that up because there's some people on this podcast that think he's the fourth or excuse me, the third toughest coach in the NFL.
I just thought that was interesting when somebody we did a battle royale of coaches. He's a little jacked, little.
He's a little jacked, but I agree. I hope it's not awkward if you run into it, though.
Steve, in the NFC West, absolutely no Seahawks this season. None, none whatsoever whatsoever i'm just it took me so long to get off of nicorette i can't watch pete carroll it just makes me want to go by nicorette immediately um a penny who's there starting running back is going to be injured in two weeks and then i see stash walker but no receivers i'm not betting on drew lock geno sm Smith is going to get punched and be out for the rest of the season anyway.
Just stay away. Okay.
DK could get you some points if you're in a defensive league on tackles, though. He's got that chase down speed.
That was shady of you. Yeah, I actually feel really bad for – I feel really bad for Locke and deke actually um they're in a weird situation um

you know i want to talk to you about the cardinals um and uh obviously i i was addicted

to nicorette i said that earlier but also um two cigarettes which are super bad no one should

smoke but um i also used to dip it's a little triggering watching hard knocks notice they keep

Thank you. two cigarettes, which are super bad.
No one should smoke. But I also used to dip.
It's a little triggering watching Hard Knocks. Notice they don't do any shots of Dan spitting at all.
But yesterday and actually in this week's episode, you saw he was carrying a cup with a napkin in there and just some spittle in there. What do you think he'd What do you think he'd choose? I bet he goes with, I was going to say Copenhagen.
I, I think he might go old school red man. Just throw in the, the long, the long stuff.
You can see the 10 through his pocket. Yeah.
So I actually, you know what? I'm going to change. I'm going to change my answer.
I bet he goes for cherry. Oh, no way.
No, I disagree. There was a, that came out about Dan Campbell a couple weeks ago and he says two things I like to taste in life, coffee and tobacco.
So he doesn't put any milk or sugar in his coffee and he doesn't do anything flavored with his tobacco. Yeah, it's Copenhagen straight probably.
There's two things I love to taste in life. Coffee.
It's like Jake.

Oh,

okay.

But I was,

I did have a real call of duty problem.

It is an addictive game.

It just sucks you right in.

And I get where,

where Kyler is coming from. I mean, you know, they give you medals, they dangle these medals in front of you.
You know, you get like a kill streak medal, a specialist medal, just a few more hours. If you stay up, you get an anti-specialist medal.
You get a rapid kill medal, a end of match medal, kill streak medal. They just dangle them and you can't stop because you're so close to the next medal and i get it i actually feel for him i actually think kyler needs a little bit of help like getting out of that video game addiction it sucks you in yeah i agree i agree so we're drafting cardinals if t can't comment on this because PFT can't play Call of Duty.
You don't have to play Call of Duty. Oh, I quit.
I quit playing Call of Duty, actually. I picked it up last year.
Isn't it amazing how much more you do with your life when you stop playing Call of Duty? Well, no, because I switched over to flight simulators, and I do that more now. So I just switched branches of the military got to the air force get to yeah i still kill i still probably kill more people now sometimes orphans when my bombs miss but yeah i'm in i fly an f-15 um oh are you ready for this i'm gonna say something nice about the NFC West.
Any 49ers. Okay.
All of them. All the 49ers.
All of them. Love them.
Their fandom is a little scary. I work with a gentleman who is a 49ers fan, and every Monday morning, he's a large man.
I don't mean to physically judge people, but he's heavily tattooed.

And he just

every Monday morning he gets in my face.

And he's always like, yeah.

You like those Niners, right?

You like that?

You like that? You see that?

You see what the Niners did? You like that?

Punch you in the mouth?

Football? Punch you in the mouth?

Football? You like that? You have a soft mouth? your mouth like that you like the niners niners man um so they're a little scary their fans i will i'm gonna go as far as to say is the niners fans are maybe the scariest fans over the raiders yeah yeah raiders fans are pretty scary um Raiders fans are pretty scary. I ever tell you about the story when I went to the Raiders game with my wife and why I'm not allowed to do football anymore? I don't know if you have.
I'm a Chargers fan here in Los Angeles. I was a fan when they were in a different city, which we don't mention.
The organization doesn't like that. So the Los Angeles Chargers.
But when they were in a different city, I had season tickets, and I was just dating my wife, and I said, I have season tickets to the Chargers. Do you want to go? And my wife is from Northern California, and I said, they're playing Oakland.
We should go. And my wife was not familiar with football at all, and with Raiders fans and Chargers fans,

an altercation broke out near us and um my wife got hit with a beer straight a beer everywhere and um and we left and you know in the parking lot my wife and I I got into a fight because my wife was like, you didn't protect me. I felt vulnerable there.
Why didn't you protect me? And I had to explain to her that I'm afraid of Raiders fans, and we're lucky we just got out with a beer spill. It could have been way worse, and my wife has not been to a football game since.
Actually, I take that back. My wife went to a Los Angeles Chargers Raiders game again, but we had to go to a box.
We had to sit in a box. Okay, so who else is on the list? So any 49ers.
Okay, let's get to the NFC East. Oh, we're doing every division.
Okay. Only Jalen Hurts.
No one else in the NFC East. I don't mind that.

No one else.

I don't even have to talk about them.

I'm sorry about the commanders.

I'm sorry about the Cowboys.

I'm sorry about just nothing.

Just only Jalen Hurts.

I think the NFC East is maybe the worst.

NFC North is pretty bad too,

But, I mean, just – I think the NFC East is maybe the worst.

NFC North is pretty bad too, but I mean

just Jalen Hurts.

I don't know what else to say.

I think he's going to have a good season.

Drafted before

Joe Burrow. Can you believe that?

That is a little shocking.

Okay.

NFC North.

Oh man, let's talk about hard knocks for a second um this is gonna get a little strange but um let's talk about the hutchinson yeah okay yeah let's have this conversation um i mean i'm you guys know i'm um i'm married i. I'm married.
We have issues. At times, it's a happy marriage at times.
It's not a volatile marriage. There's not volatility.
But at times, there is just a disconnection. But I'm married.
So this is like an imaginary situation but i would have relations with this the sisters are all over yeah yeah you just say you'd have relations with all of the hutchinsons oh mom by Mom. By the way, I would fuck the dad.
I would. I'm not joking.
I want to get on 23andMe. I want the cousins coming in.
I want to fuck them all. I want the pets watching.
I want to fuck that entire family. Agreed.
They're amazing. They are amazing.
They so supportive they watch the games they they birth and raise nfl players and beauty queens and sign me up yeah my father gave me an addiction gene like and and now debt and this family and i want to be with them physically i want to be inside of them all of them and that includes mr hutchinson yeah they're beautiful people i think one of his sisters was miss michigan so as an IDP, you can take Hutch, but nobody. God, that just got all Zach Wilson talking.
That's okay. His mom did not understand everybody.
You're a man. But none of the Lions.
Don't be fooled. DJ Shark isn't doing anything this season.
Oh, you know what? Only one NFC Northern player. Alan Lazard, I think, is a league round.
I like that. I think he's going to do a little something.
Yeah, okay. Oh, also, any Viking.
I do like the Vikings. I like that.
Except Dalvin Cook. I think they're going to be good this year.
No, I think if you have like a seventh pick and he's up there, yeah, you have to take Dalvin Cook. And by the way, if you have like a tenth pick, you got to take Swift.
I mean, like these aren't like hard rules. Just try and stay away from them.
Okay. Let's talk about the NFC South because I actually want to talk about this.
I can actually talk about what's going on. We had to wear the sixth, but if you have the seventh pick and he's on the board, you should take him.
Because Jerry got value in Derek Henry right there. Yeah, and we did handcuff our quarterback in the sixth round with Kirk Cousins.
Billy tried to handcuff DeAndre Swift last year too. Yep, that's true.
Guys, let's talk about the NFC South because this um, this is actually something I could talk about. Um, um, Tom Brady was in the news a lot and, um, he's quote going through some shit.
Um, and he looks, uh, G-A-U-N-T, Gaunt, G-A-U-N-T. Um, but, um, he, um, I can sort of speak on what's going on with him.
I am, and I'm, and bear with me here. If you look it up, Hank, look it up.
Billy, look it up. I am married this week to a former, my wife.
I'm allowed to say this. This is not a humble brag.
Cause this is fact. My wife was a supermodel.
Rebecca Romijn. Look her up.

I think it's one of those things that if you're a supermodel,

you're a supermodel for life, not former.

Put some respect on your wife's name.

She's a supermodel.

No, no, no. I know, but I'm not coming on here and lying about my situation.

I'm telling you what is real.

Real quick, Jerry, have you ever asked her,

like, when do you become a supermodel?

When do you make that step from being a model and now, boom, supermodel? I think it comes from pay, a pay scale. My wife was represented.
I think you're represented by that sports agency, IMG. So you're not just represented by some like model agent with a cigar hanging out of your mouth.
You're represented by a large sports agency that also integrates you with young men and brands. It's like a whole thing.
So you're just on another level. So my wife is in that level.
Obviously, I'm not comparing her to Giselle. Giselle is...
I have to say one thing. So PFT and I obviously know who your wife is because she was very famous when we were growing up.
Billy just looked her up and he just gave me this smirk like, oh, fuck yes. So take that as a compliment.
Billy, can I suggest some of her work in the 1996 swimsuit issue? He had no idea who she was, and he is a new – Billy will be masturbating to your wife tonight, just so you know. Actually, I was about to complain about it.
It's very hot. I've got to tell you.
It's rare that this happens because i'm a man of a particular age but i i'm getting a tingle from that like there's it was funny in los angeles when billy met jerry for the first time he came across the bar and he was like hey uh my wife over there and i we'd like to buy you a drink and then he's like oh you're billy football he didn't realize but i guess you're just being really polite and saying hi to a nice young man is i mean does billy have to talk to ben mince or is it just like they share everything they share everything jerry you know that all right um but um i want to talk about uh being married to a model who my wife just doesn't get football my wife actually dislikes football she thinks it's uh brutal and doesn't doesn't think there's finesse doesn't like doesn't get this doesn't get us doesn't understand it doesn't understand on sundays why it has to take over why is it all day sunday why is it on thursdays now why is it on mondays

too what is this why is it on amazon why is it on tv why is it everywhere and i think tom brady has to deal with a little bit of what i deal with all the time which is living with someone who just doesn't get it doesn't get get it. And you know what? I mean, you know, my whole thing is, yeah, I just want to watch a couple quarters a weekend.
That poor guy has to do it six days a week. I mean, it's got to be tough.
It's got to be tough. We feel for him.
And by the way, after you talking to Coach Arians yesterday, if he's on the road, I mean, he's probably going to be doing it in a studio. But it sounds like, you know, working games is just as hard a work as being.
Yeah, yeah. It becomes your life at some point.
Now, to compare you and your marriage to Tom Brady and his marriage. So Tom came back looking.
No, he came back looking gaunt, as you said. G-A-U-N-T.
And there's some speculation out there. Maybe Tom had some work done.
I didn't say it, but a lot of people are saying it. To compete with, is it like a thing where you see how attractive your wife is and you're like, I really have to keep it tight because I got to keep her happy look at her uh there's a there is a pressure about it i uh you know now like this part of my eye you can see it if you really like getting close if you're watching this on youtube please please subscribe we got uh a lot of followers these days um i thought about maybe doing something but i'm just so afraid of looking like uh sig freedom roy you know i'm just so afraid of like i i don't want anyone to ever make fun of me getting that i you know i i don't want to talk on maybe him getting something done or i just think he's i think he's i think he has to deal with it a lot all right let's keep moving on.
Okay, so NFC, just to sum up the NFC, any 49ers, Jalen Hurts, maybe some Vikings, that's it. Let's go to the AFC South.
Now hear me out. This is going to be really random, and you know I love random teams.
if if you are in a bind i believe davis mills who went to stanford he's got a good head on his shoulders um uh davis mills and brandon cooks could have uh could have that braylon derrick anderson year that no is expecting. They could.
They're super cheap. I love a bargain.
I love a bargain, okay? I have no clue who else is on the Texans. Please don't even ask me.
Those are the only two names that I know. And I'm really happy to say I came onto your podcast last time and I told you I like drafting Jags and that's when you invited me into a league and you wanted me to give you money.
But I said, I'm not doing that because I want us to remain friends. Um, the Jags, uh, the Jags are back.
Okay. The Jags are back.
Okay. I like the Jags again.
I love, I love Etienne. I think he comes at a bargain.
I love, Lawrence. And my sleeper this season, Evan Engram.
Yeah, I think he's going to have a good year.

Colts are total snooze fest Agreed

Except I told you for

A little crisscross applesauce

Rodrigo

AFC East

Only the Bills

And you gotta go to that bar

Uptown A little crisscross applesauce, Rodrigo. AFC East.
Only the Bills. And you've got to go to that bar uptown All-Stars if you watch a Bills game.
It's in New York. All-Stars.
It's a Bills bar. I've got to tell you, I'm married.
I told you I'm married to Rebecca Romijn, former supermodel, moderately happy. I love, I think Bill's fans are the most attractive.
Really? I don't know about the men. I can say for the women, I just think there's just something about them.
They're so hot. You ever seen a Zubaz bra i just i went to this bar all stars

you ever seen like those you know those stripes that they wear on bills like their fans wear the

zubaz pattern they're like zebra stripes with the different colors that's like their thing

i'm just thinking to myself out loud like lingerie zubaz would be boom six to midnight um

yeah i mean i'm just a fan um okay uh no pats can't watch that offense uh

I'm just a fan. Okay.
No pats. Can't watch that offense.
Matt Jones getting three points last season in that game was just – they're dead to me. You know what? I will say this.
Brady won. Belichick needed Brady.
Belichick needed Brady. It's as simple as that.
AMC north bangles all them love them uh ravens i'm sorry just no ravens last season i had dobbins and then i had gus edwards and everybody blew their knees out and it's like you know i'm like week one i'm like come on latavius come on latavius you're hoping latavius murray a touch. I can't deal with the Ravens.
I'm sorry. Now you've got to handcuff Dobbins to Mike Davis and to Kenyon Drake.
Pass. No Steelers except for that tight end, that Fryermouth.
I can't say his name really well. Fair mouth.
Yeah, I mean, I root for Drubisky. I really do.
And I'm sorry, but no Browns. I know I talk about Browns, but, you know, I do live in Los Angeles, and I do – like I don't want to get canceled.
I can't like be on a public fantasy league like you guys are in. Yeah.
No. The one player I want to draft from the Browns because it would be like drafting like Kevin Spass.
You know, in the seventh round, Jerry takes Harvey Weinstein. Can't do it.
Can't do it. You know, you get in too much trouble.
I want to. Listen, he's there.
I want to. And, you know, everyone's sort of looking at each other virtually, like who's going to do it? Because week 12, somebody could light it up.
They've had a lot of rest, and they are talented. But can't do it.
Not touching it. Not touching it.
And finally, AFC West. Yes.
All of them. Except for running backs on KCC because they have cool names,

Clyde Edwards, Hilaire, but they just have no stats.

Those are my rules.

So what we're going to do, because I want memes to – or someone on our team is going to make a graphic

so that we won't put it right away when the podcast comes out,

but maybe sometime mid-Friday we'll put out a graphic

that just shows all the teams you've crossed off so people can just have that cheat sheet ready to go. It's Jerry O'Connell's fantasy football rules.
Now, Jerry, I had one last question for you because I think I just saw you grab a piece of paper. It is the Roback question.
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Do you have something for our good boy, William Football?

Yeah, I do.

I just, you know, I'm an AWL.

We established that.

And I just, I'd like to jot notes down about Billy throughout the year. And when I come on, I like to just, well, I just wrote them down.
Let's do it. Yes.
I would love to hear it. Okay.
This is a poem for Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy.
This is a ditty for the man who seems to have it all made. Billy, Billy, Billy.
Even though he didn't grow hair in his pubis until the 11th grade. Billy, Billy, Billy.
We yearn for your knowledge and how wide it does span Billy Billy Billy like Wednesday when you referred to the country of Russia as one giant clam jam Billy Billy Billy yes some of your takes are shall we say strange but Billy Billy Billy at least unlike Hank you seem to believe in climate change. Billy, Billy, Billy, sometimes when you speak

we all turn to our But Billy Billy Billy at least unlike Hank you seem to believe in the climate change.

Billy Billy Billy sometimes when you speak we all turn to our radios and we shout.

Billy Billy Billy shh we can't hear you your internet's going out.

Billy Billy Billy who are you exactly we only have a few hints.

Billy Billy Billy we know you have a hedgehog and live with a man. Billy, Billy, Billy, as a man, you are near perfect.
Nothing with you is broken. Billy, Billy, Billy.
But God, do we wish we had video of you getting dunked on and broken. Billy, Billy, Billy, we all need your wisdom, so give him a raise for God's sake.
But Billy, Billy, Billy, we all know you're just going to get a coupon to pardon my cheesesteak. Billy, Billy, Billy, we love you, Billy, and we love you with this crew.
And Billy, Billy, Billy, never ever lose that dog in you I love it I love you guys Jerry you you are the best Jerry we look forward to this so much we gotta have you on mid season for an update just come to New York yeah waiver wire stuff I'm sorry i couldn't be i wanted to say one last thing are you coming to new york at all this year uh you know i'm when i come you're gonna be my first call i'm on this show called there we go it starts airing september 12th uh right on the fox channels check it out you can uh watch football and then uh watch your nfc games and then okay picture love you guys thank you jerry bye hank you gotta come up he's gone that was good i think he had to run he just fucking hung up on us i think i think his wife was like what are you doing jerry he did it i was gonna say we need to have jerry o'connell come to the gambling cave for an entire sunday yes it would nothing would make me happier if he just did the whole thing and did a whole whole Monday episode. Well, that's the thing is like when we're in the gambling cave, we are paying attention to our bets and we're not paying attention at all to fantasy football.
Jerry's going to be all over the map with who he cheers for in those games. It's going to be incredible.
Yeah. All right.
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Okay, let's wrap up. We've got Fyre Fest of the week.
Henry, would you like to kick us off? I do. This is kind of a real Fyre Fest, so have to bear with me.
I'm going to try and explain it, explain it all in the best way I can. But it's very like it definitely kind of goes back or it reminds me of old Barstool, like old 2013, 2014 days, the inciting incident.
But we did the mini golf. We did a mini golf video.
We saw some – there were some tweets that worked here like oh i'm the best mini golfer i'm the best mini golfer we're like oh we'll go we'll have everyone play around we'll invite everyone because you know it's it's pretty pretty wide open who could be a mini golf person it's good content we'll have everyone come everyone can show up everyone can compete uh and then we'll edit a video and we'll figure it out after like that was kind of like what we used to do back in the day where it's like, oh, we'll just go shoot this video and then we'll figure out how to get it done. Yada, yada, yada.
But we had 40 people, like 20 cameras, a million different audio tracks. And it was a good event.
Like everyone, you guys were there. It was fun.
It's good content. You guys both texted me after actually on the side being like, oh, that good stuff like old school feel uh and the miscalculation that i made on how how much was gonna have to go into it after was was maybe the biggest miscalculation that i've ever made in my entire life like something that i thought was going to be like a quick edit it will be good content we'll put it out it's supposed to be the end of the summer it's now coming out in two weeks that's kind of why i wanted to bring it up because people have been asking me like when's it coming out when's it coming out when's it coming out let's just say like it's something like i thought was going to take maybe 10 hours for the last like three weeks i i myself we have other editors working on it too like i myself have been like going through this footage for probably 30 or 40 hours because it's like basically imagining putting filming having everyone play a golf round and then after the golf round putting it all together and like adding commentary instead of just live cutting it the way like any normal broadcast does and that just wasn't something we thought about before which again like is all my fault and i've just had like i've obviously been like a very a very happy-go-lucky person like i'm never really that stressed i would say out of this podcast i'm like the least stressed person out okay no but like i've had really really really like bad anxiety like in like just i haven't been like eating well i haven't been golfing like going out like wanting to do anything like this this golfing this well no just doing anything.
I get off work and I just like sit there and just have like, I just have like really, really, really bad anxiety. And that's not something where it's like, you know, I get like hangover anxiety or you get nervous about something for a night, but I've never had like lingering day to day anxiety that just like, you just don't want to do anything.
You don't want to do anything. And like, now I feel like we've kind of gotten through the the hard part and we and we're and we're like there's light at the end of the tunnel so and i've talked about it like i know i've seen my family and stuff because it's like i was going through it for a little bit but it's just it it was bad for a while and it's all it's one of those things where it's when it's all your fault you're like how how how did you fuck this up this bad it's like you're just an idiot like there's no one to blame but yourself kind of makes it worse um but yeah i just like i i do obviously like i was gonna tell you guys off off air or whatever but i was like i'll just tell you guys on the air but yeah it's been it's been it's been a struggle of the last couple weeks 40 people 40 plus people miked up and then trying to put it together where we had a cut system, multiple three rounds, like 20 cameras.
That's one of those ones. I was actually thinking about it the other day because you had mentioned something about how hard it was.
If you had like put me in PFT in a room and like you can't come out till it's edited. I think we'd be in the room forever.
I think we died. There's so much stuff because we don't know how to edit.
But also like we had to learn how to edit and then try to do it. We would be in the room forever i think we'd die there's so much stuff because we don't know how to edit but also like we had to learn how to edit and then try to do it we would be in the room forever the cumulative amount of tape that you had had it had to be like weeks worth of footage yeah well yeah and again it's one of those things where it's like i guess it's the mini golf was the inciting incident and then like that just like it's like if you have you know stuff on your plate and then you add just a giant thing on your plate and then your plate breaks and you're just like a mess like it was it it kind of just like triggered me into just like being in a bad place where it's just like i just like i was overwhelmed and just like i was not you just have so much you don't want to do anything you just need to like focus on one thing but uh it took you know three hours of footage but in reality like your round is one hour your round is one hour right so that's 40 hours and you have go through all that, figure out the best shots, organize them, whatever, whatever.
It's not really about the mini golf. It was more just like I just wanted to explain that I've just been having a bad, like a fire fest of the last three weeks, and I apologize.
But it's just like I haven't been myself, and I want to get back to being myself. So it's an excuse for Mount Rushmore? Yeah.
How's your team doing? How are the editors? Max, Batgirl, maybe you can shed some light on this. What's the vibe? Is the vibe like are they mad at Hank? No.
I mean, I was supposed to help with the mini golf and then I got brought onto this show and I have a million things to do with this show. So I was also like another man down because that was supposed to be my thing.
And then I came over here. But it is like a bear.
Like the first couple of days, I think Hank was away and I was looking at it. And it's like there's so much footage that you can't like grasp where to start i yeah the real that's where it was like it was like all right yeah that was a great day and that's the thing where the takeaway was like this was a great day this is going to be great video and then you get in front of all the video and you're like oh my god like the completion bar of like what needs to get done before this is completed is it was it was it literally was overwhelming and like spiraled my my mentals it is it is good which is crazy because it's mini golf but like but it's good that you're saying it loud because obviously pft are we're on the other side of the camera so we do something fun like that and then we're like oh that was sick it's gonna come out And I think a lot of fans think that way.
And they don't realize how much work goes in behind the scenes. It's exponential compared to what we have to do.
And we could have, again, like that's where it's like it could have been thought out maybe beforehand. Or it could have been like, yeah, if we had like, you know, prep better, we would have realized the scope of this.
But again, like old school is just like, yeah, we'll have everyone play. It'll be great.
And then we'll just edit it after. And it's like you get to the after and you're just like, oh, nope, this is impossible.
Yeah, it's good. And it's good.
Like the first episode is done. Now there's six episodes are going to start coming out a week from Tuesday.
And it we're finally in a place where it's like I didn't even want to talk about it because people were like, when it's coming out, when it's coming out and again at first a couple weeks ago i was like never like it's never coming out like it's not it's it's burned all i'm gonna i'm just gonna die but now it's like the first one's coming out you know we got it we got a good plan for the rest of the ones like it's fine but well you are looking pretty slim from losing all the stress yeah that's true i know i've been looking probably had that six pack whoa you're looking slim you did look good at Stu's house the other day. Yeah.
I mean, I want to get back again. I want to get back to just like being a normal person, like outside of work and working out, playing golf, going out and shit.
Like, but yeah, I don't know. I just like was debating whether or not to talk about it because I didn't want to like, I didn't want to just be like, oh, mini golf is coming out.
Like it's delayed. It's coming out.
People are going to be like, oh, what took so long?

It's like, whoa.

Yeah.

This is what took so long.

And also, I spiral.

But I'm good.

I'm on the road back.

All right.

I haven't noticed anything different about you, Hank.

That's good.

Yeah.

You're great, as always.

You're happy.

You've been exactly the same.

You're so happy.

Love you, Hank.

Love you, too.

I love you, Hank.

Billy, do you know what you mean? Oh, you don't love me, too? I love you, too. Okay.
Love you, Hank. Love you, too.
I love you, Hank. Billy, do you love me?

Oh, you don't love me, too?

I love you, too.

Okay.

Love you guys.

Billy, do you love Hank?

I just said love you, Hank.

Love you, Hank.

Love you, Hank.

Everybody loves you, Hank.

Everyone does love you.

Everybody tweet at Hank and let him know that you love him.

Yes.

Yes.

And don't ask him when the mini golf thing's coming out.

It's coming out.

I'll tell you.

And don't include the picture of him after 45.

It's going to be a great series. Thanks for doing a great job.
A bunch of other editors, too. Love that.
Yep. And Jake's doing the announcing.
Jake's doing the play-by-play. Yeah.
It's good. We put in the work.
We've gotten through it. We've gone through the bullshit.
It is going to be good. It just was a lot of bullshit to go through.
All right. Okay.
PFT. My five rest of the week is I had my follow-up appointment yesterday for my elbow for the uh ucl thing to see if i needed surgery or anything like that and i just skipped it so um that's badass i kind of think that whatever's going on with my elbow that's probably going to be what's going on with my elbow for the rest of my life and i didn't want to do this i wanted to do it the right way where i was like i'm going to follow doctor's orders all that stuff i'm going to wear the brace i wore the brace for like two days and then i was like this brace is very uncomfortable i'm not gonna wear it i was supposed to get like a nighttime brace for it to wear while i slept i didn't do that and i just figured okay i'll just not use it for a couple weeks we'll see how it improves if it improves um and then i was playing playing frisbee golf with it and uh disc golf excuse me golf i was dolphin with it.
And I just kind of reached the point where I said, fuck it. As I knew, I would probably eventually get to this place.
You'll be fine. But I was trying not to.
I was trying to do it the correct way. But sometimes you get stubborn about things.
And so my strategy now is I'm just going to resume normal life. And then if it gets re-injured, then I'll just readdress it at that point.
Well. We always do this is going to happen because you're a gamer.
It's football season. You can't get surgery during football season.
And Billy didn't give me the fucking research chemicals that he said he was going to get me. Get those chemicals.
They're on the way. Are they really? No they're not.
In my mind. He just ordered them in his mind.
You haven't even ordered them in your mind yet. Yeah.
I ordered them in my mind. He just did.
I need something. Do you actually want me to shoot you up with this stuff? Yes.
Yes. Okay.
Yes. Okay, officially.
Yes. On the record.
Yes. I'm not liable for anything that happens.
Yes, because I do not want my right elbow to be fucked up for the rest of my life. Right.
And this will definitely fix it. This is going to fix everything.
Yeah. Research chemicals.
All sorts of things I was supposed to be doing that I just haven't done. I have been resting it, though, for the most part.
I have been picking stuff up with it, but I would just prefer to not have a fucked up elbow until I die. I'd agree.
I'd agree. All right.
My fire fest. It's a stupid one.
But like I said earlier in the show, my son's getting to a point where he's very funny and just saying shit all the time. When he playfully hits his sister or me, he just says bonk.
I love that. So it's just wrecking my brain.
He'll just walk over and be like, I just bonked my sister. And I'm like, what the fuck? So this show is just completely corrupted.
What should be a cute moment every single time he does it probably bonks like five times a day and just like okay well yeah i mean i love the idea that's true i love the idea that you're like a very very much a living reminder of you having been horny at one time is walking around bonking you yeah he's just like oh i bonked mommy it's like okay cool this should be like a precious moment that's just been completely corrupted by the internet in this show billy so we were in the woods on tuesday uh doing okay yeah doing another frolf we were frolfing as we're dolphin you're talking about so i was in the woods a fair amount, the deep grass. And this last night, I was itchy on my ankles.
Like, what the hell is this? Is this scabies again? And I was like- Again? Yeah. Remember the ivermectin thing? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Scabies sucks.
And then I realized that it wasn't scabies. There's too many bites.
And I have chigers. Ooh.
Yeah. Hashtag Jake was right.
When the video comes out, Jake was being Jake and was like. That was actually my fire fest too.
Really? Skeeto bites were crazy. Really? Yeah.
Because Jake was complaining about the mosquito. We literally got out of the car and he's like, I feel like I just got bit.
And we all just clowned on him. And then we got three holes in and we're like, Jake was right.
These are a lot of bugs. Why'd you pronounce it like that? Just curious.
So I've only read it before. So it's a really bad.
What are they? They're these bugs. What are they called? They burrow into your skin and eat them.
How do you spell it? C-H-I-G-G-E-R-S. They, they're really itchy Because the itchiness doesn't kick in at first It kicks in way later So the only way to Cure it Chigers It's such a perfect glimpse Inside Billy's brain You can't cancel me For these bugs So there's no once they bite you.
You make it worse by not pronouncing it. Of course.
It makes it infinitely worse. There's just leaving no room for error.
So... Yeah, don't ever tweet that word out.
Yeah. So I was...
The only way to deal with it is like washing. But they said that if you really want to get rid of them you just gotta put alcohol put rubbing alcohol on the bites so then I put all this rubbing alcohol on the bites to kill the bugs that are like burrowed into my skin and it stung like the worst thing ever like I was literally just dumping alcohol in open wounds and it stunk did you get drunk no that sucks i wish shout out billy too because uh he said on tuesday when we're going to stew finder's house i'll drive because i i won't get fucked up on a tuesday well last time none of us were drinking last time we were at stew's house last time we were at stew's house we were like chugging tons of beer.

He actually said, don't worry, I won't drink there.

And I was like, I wouldn't have said that.

I assumed when you're driving that you're not going to do that.

We don't need to tell you that. Last time we were there, there was just tons of booze.

Yeah.

Right, but if you were driving there.

But nobody had planned on drinking on this occasion because we had to work.

Quite literally from 9 to 9. Yeah, I didn't know what the vibe was at Stu's.
Did you guys know what the vibe was? I knew I wasn't going to get drunk on a Tuesday. Regardless of vibe, you can always be like, hey, I'm working now.
Last time was a Thursday. I think we were going to an Islanders game.
It was a Wednesday because we didn't have a show. We were going to the Islanders game.
We were going there to have a full day. Okay.
Hank has changed the lottery ball machines because he's trying to win. If you win this one, Hank.
Well, his fire fest was the Bucs. I got like 20 mosquito bites in three hours.
If you win this, Hank. So, people are watching on YouTube.
I walked in the other day and all the balls are blue now. Blue ball Hank is what we usually call him.
But if you win this, there will be a lot of controversy. I don't think so.
There's 100 balls. Oh, you don't think so? You don't think you switched? You changed all the balls, and you think that if you win the first time, nobody's going to say anything to you.
What do we want to do with the record book here? No, it stays. Everything stays.
Yes, everything stays. The numbers are still the same.

The balls are different.

Yes.

And, Hank, you better hope that one of us wins before you win.

Yes, yes.

So it is presented by Paramount+.

Like I said earlier, you got to go to ParamountPlus.com to start your free trial,

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Additional exclusive NFL content. Go right now.
We gave away a free one. Are we giving away another free one? So we're giving away another free one.
Let's just give away free ones. We're giving away one code for free Paramount Plus account.
So you can watch along with us. This is big.
The code's on the screen. The code's on the screen.
Paramount Plus ping pong ball lottery machine.

Thank you to Paramount Plus for sponsoring this.

Is everyone ready?

17.

You said that so quickly.

Huh.

No, it's the first ball that he sees in his eyesight.

That's actually my lucky number.

I might go 17, too.

I'm going to go 44.

You can't do that.

Do you share?

No.

No, you can't share.

All right.

36. 75.
26. Max? 36.
44 you can't do you share no no you can't share all right now so it's 75 26 max 36 a new era the blue ball era juice oh it's only one so you can't see it. Pre-60.
Two. Number two.
The deuce. Derek.
Pre-2. Fifth time.
You're lucky, Hank. You dodged a bullet.
I'm going to get it. I'm going to get the sponsor ball.
No, you won't. Love you guys.
Animal fact. These things bit my legs.

What were they called again?

The C words.

What?

What were those things called?

Toads are poisonous. Okay.
I'm about to say I'll say it anyway Today is my day But the fighting Come on Take me Take me Take me Let's see I want to send it But I need some little way Slowly learning life is okay

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't Good night. Take me home Take on me.