Fantasy Football Preview With Jerry O’Connell, Russ Gets Paid + Mt Rushmore Of Worst Public Transportation People

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 our favorite guest, Jerry O'Connell, back for an extended fantasy football preview. He drafted our team again this year.
He then goes through the league on who you should and shouldn't draft.

Speaker 1 He has a poem for Billy. Just an incredible time with JOC.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson got paid. Serena, everyone's everyone's going crazy for Serena.

Speaker 1 We have Mount Rushmore of worst people on public transportation.

Speaker 1 And then we'll wrap up with Firefest into the long weekend, last weekend of summer.

Speaker 3 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 4 And then a lot of work to be done.

Speaker 4 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 4 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 4 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're gonna rock down to each other.

Speaker 1 Part of my take.

Speaker 1 Presented by Barstakes.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Hooters. Go to hooters.com slash football to learn more.
The best place to watch football all season long. Today is Friday, September 2nd.

Speaker 1 And Russell Wilson has been paid.

Speaker 4 His credit is unlimited. It is

Speaker 1 quite a.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about it because he got paid. What were the final numbers?

Speaker 1 It was seven years, I think.

Speaker 1 Pretty much the deal that the Seahawks were never going to give him.

Speaker 4 The Broncos did give him. That's why he wanted the trade, so that he could take another big dip.
So he's going to get paid until he's like 40 years old, I think.

Speaker 4 And so if you look at the per-year numbers on him, Aaron Rodgers, number one, $50.2 million, Russell Wilson, number two, then Kyler Murray, then Deshaun, then Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 4 So as first reported on part of my take, I think the day that Patrick Mahomes signed his contract,

Speaker 4 he's going to regret that contract in like three years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and also you had, I wonder if Russell Wilson, because, you know, Russell Wilson, let's just say it, he likes the limelight. He likes people talking about Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 That's why he came back like four weeks too early with his thumb injury last year, and he does the, you know, simulated games with the cameras right in front of him.

Speaker 4 Next level mental reps.

Speaker 1 Next level mental reps. Do you think there's part of him that's a little pissed that the minute it got announced, everyone was like, Lamar Jackson's going to get so much money.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 he got the runoff trend on that one. And that's what it used to be all the time.
Whenever quarterback would get paid, it would always be like, how much is Aaron Rodgers going to get paid?

Speaker 4 Now it's shifted over to Lamar Jackson now that Aaron got his contract. So Lamar, I guess he wants a lot of money guaranteed.
Obviously, he does.

Speaker 4 But I think both sides are kind of far away on that one.

Speaker 4 And now people are upset at Russell Wilson for not getting a guaranteed contract like Deshaun Watson got because everybody was saying when Deshaun Watson got his, it's like, okay, that reset the market.

Speaker 4 Now every quarterback's contract is going to be guaranteed. Turns out that not every team is the Cleveland Browns when it comes to giving out contracts.

Speaker 5 Right.

Speaker 1 So he gets $165 million guaranteed, five-year extension worth $245. $165 million guaranteed.

Speaker 4 Figure out how many turtlenecks that would buy him at the gap.

Speaker 1 That is insane. How many, like, oh my God.

Speaker 4 How many bottles of nano-bubbles?

Speaker 1 He's, yeah, he got paid, paid, paid.

Speaker 4 He's truly looking out for his family's future.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, there it is.

Speaker 1 He,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 I was a little upset, though, because he is Mr. Unlimited.
He should have just gotten an infinity contract for infinity years.

Speaker 1 And then, like, imagine if Schefter had to report Russell Wilson signs infinity contract for infinity years, and then it's all of the, it's like, well, it's actually $150 million over five years, but there's bonuses to get to infinity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 I actually wouldn't rule that out for Russell Wilson.

Speaker 4 It escalates after he turns 40. Every year after he turns 40, he gets infinity dollars per year for infinity years.
Yes. But the Broncos can cut him whenever they can.

Speaker 1 At any time. Yeah, in mid-game, they could cut him.
Yeah. I mean, he should have thought outside the box.

Speaker 1 All right, so football is very much back. Week one, college football.
We are going to recap everything.

Speaker 1 So next week, because it's Monday's Labor Day, we're going to have a show Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday's show, we will recap all the college football. Also have a college football friend on.
Got to decide who.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm going to say it. We haven't talked to Fornelli in a long time.
Fornelly's going to come on. You okay with that, Hank?

Speaker 1 I guess. It's your show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you know what?

Speaker 4 We should have Fornelly do Hank's Mount Rushmore picks.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, he should team with you.
That's what we'll do because Tuesday will be. He takes all my shit anyway.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 it'll be the finale of Mount Rushmore. This is great, too, because I haven't texted Tom, and he's just going to listen to this and be like, okay, I'm in for Tuesday.

Speaker 1 But we do have the backyard brawl tonight, which is going to be great. There's so many good games.
Also, special shout-out because the Pardon My Cheesesteak Truck is going to be live at

Speaker 1 ULM at Texas, Rutgers at BC, BYU at USF, and the big one, Notre Dame at Ohio State, Saturday night. So check out the Pardon My Cheesesteak Truck.

Speaker 6 It's a cheesesteak season. We launched in the summer, but let's be honest,

Speaker 6 when it's hot, it's a little bit

Speaker 1 harder to grasp. But fall football cheesesteak.

Speaker 4 It's great drunk food.

Speaker 6 It's perfect.

Speaker 4 It is. Did you see Keidan Slovis giving the hype up speech at the pep rally? It's so funny to watch Keyan Slovis be like, fuck West Virginia.
He's like the ultimate Cali bro.

Speaker 1 Right. And it's also, I'm a little nervous about this game tonight just because

Speaker 1 they haven't had this game since 2011. I feel like we're going to get maybe like this is the perfect storm for fanfights in the stands.
Oh, yeah. Like

Speaker 1 we haven't seen West Virginia and Pitt for so long. We got to get all of our rage out.
We got to just get very drunk.

Speaker 1 I think people are probably drunk as we're taping this at noon, and and it's going to be a great game.

Speaker 4 It's West Virginia.

Speaker 4 West Virginia has been pre-gaming for this game for the last, what, 11 years? Yes. That's what they've been getting ready for.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 I don't know much about either one of these two teams besides, you know, I've read a couple of the previews that they put out there, and I'm a big preview guy, and

Speaker 4 I scan those. The pay ones, those are tough.

Speaker 4 I'm just going to say Pitt's overrated.

Speaker 1 Oh. Okay.
I think Pitt's overrated. I think it's a year.

Speaker 4 I think Witt's going to win this year.

Speaker 1 I think Pitt's going to win and cover, so I guess one of us will look stupid. It'll be great.

Speaker 1 Which is no different than any show. Yeah, welcome to part of my take.

Speaker 5 If this is your first time, we're wrong.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I also saw the Twitter edit button is coming. I don't like this.
No. I hate this.
I think that everyone's take should stay forever.

Speaker 4 Own your mistakes, bitch.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Although, what you can do is if you have like a really bad take that's getting ratioed, I would like to just be able to change it to a gif and just have people replying to a gif afterwards and just really confuse people.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So there's rules that are put in place. I saw that it's going to be 30 minutes that you can edit it, and that if you edit it,

Speaker 1 the tweet underneath shows this has been edited, so you can then click on it.

Speaker 1 So essentially, when they actually roll this out, my first tweet's just going to be like, the bears are back, the bears are not back, the bears are back, and you can just click and see how many iterations I've done.

Speaker 4 Does it show you all the edit history behind it?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.
So disinformation, sorry, Billy,

Speaker 1 won't be going on.

Speaker 4 Well, so the beauty of Twitter, though, is that it doesn't have an edit button.

Speaker 4 The only people that complain about edit buttons are big J's, and they shouldn't be making the mistakes in the first place.

Speaker 4 They're actually the ones who should be held most accountable for tweets that they do need to edit.

Speaker 4 I hate the idea of an edit button coming back. Elon, dude, Elon, come on, get back in.
Save us. Don't do the edit button.

Speaker 1 Don't do the editing. Nobody wants it.
Here's a perfect one, a perfect example, because I know that Jake, he's going to want us to talk about Serena.

Speaker 1 This was from Ava Wallace last night after Serena won. Serena Williams says Tiger Woods is one of the main reasons she's still playing.
He was like, okay, we can do this together.

Speaker 1 Woods was in her box tonight.

Speaker 1 That should not be edited. It should not.
That should not be edited. Fucking perfect tweet.
Fucking a man should not be able to be edited. That should not be able to be edited.

Speaker 1 I will never edit a tweet. No.
I don't care. Really? No.

Speaker 4 No, that's a promise.

Speaker 1 I will. I will, but I'll just say it.
I will not edit tweetly.

Speaker 1 I'll do it so blatantly, you'll know.

Speaker 7 All of us will eventually do it.

Speaker 1 No, you will. You will.
At one point in our career.

Speaker 4 All right, so here's my thing.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a joke. Our careers.

Speaker 5 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 I will at some point edit tweets to be funny. Right.
I will not edit tweets because I have made a mistake. Correct.
Which I never do on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 4 Or because I want to change a take. Correct.

Speaker 4 The takes as they are will stand forever. Those might as well be written in blood or cum, like the cover of Metallica's Load album.

Speaker 4 But as far as changing something after the fact to make myself look better, not going to happen.

Speaker 1 Not going to happen.

Speaker 4 I might change it to make myself look worse.

Speaker 1 Yes, no, all the time.

Speaker 4 I'll edit in more mistakes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So you want to talk about Serena?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was epic. It was.
Was she, how big of an underdog was she?

Speaker 7 I don't know the line. Plus 200.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it was 220. Look, there is something very cool about

Speaker 1 an athlete at the end of their career having that one last stand. I mean, Tiger at the Masters was incredible.
They're all storybook endings, aren't they? Yeah, they are. Aren't they? What?

Speaker 7 In April, there was a storybook ending, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Coach K. Good job, Jake.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 that's true. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That didn't work out. Yeah.
You're right. But it is cool to watch these last stands.

Speaker 1 But I also, like, it wasn't that big of an upset. She's still Serena Williams, right?

Speaker 7 But the number two seed, you expect there's a very good chance the run ends here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I wanted to hate it. I wanted to be like, you know, just like, oh, it's only, you know, it's not a big upset.
Serena's still pretty good. Why are we freaking out about it?

Speaker 4 And then I checked the Twitter timeline, and you had Rex Chapman and Dan Dokich standing up applauding for Serena Williams, being like, this is incredible. So even my cold, dried, true

Speaker 4 heart had to be like, you know what? This is a good moment for sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I saw it. I tuned in for a little bit of it, and I was like, this is not main TV, bottom TV, no sound.
But I was like, this is fucking cool. This is a cool moment.

Speaker 1 This is why we watch sports.

Speaker 1 I was just curious about the game, because the gambling side of it, like I was actually, the reason why I asked or looked it up was because I was going to be mad at myself if she was like plus 1,000 I didn't bet on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Because that would have pissed me off.
Like, how did I miss this?

Speaker 4 Well, you also have to take into account that people are probably betting on Serena to win more than a normal underdog would be. So if she was not Serena Williams, oh, yeah, if she was

Speaker 7 unseated versus the number two seed in the second round is usually much more than that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. But it is Serena Williams.
But it was a very cool moment. And it was also cool because the whole crowd, like, I don't know, everyone's rooting for her.

Speaker 7 Yeah, this poor girl, Annette, I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.

Speaker 4 She's woman. Contove it.

Speaker 7 Woman. Sorry.

Speaker 1 No one was rooting for her.

Speaker 7 At one point, she had a shot that was barely in, and the crowd started booing, and Sir Mina was

Speaker 7 doing the finger wag. Like, don't do that.

Speaker 1 See the crowd? Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 6 Also, simultaneously happening when they had the Timmy Trumpets guy playing the trumpets for Diaz in City Field.

Speaker 1 Which,

Speaker 1 again, the trumpets are so fucking cool, but you have to be so scared if you're a Mets fan because

Speaker 6 if they lost that game, which I think a lot of Mets fans thought they were going to, it's a one-run game. It's like it was kind of overblown.

Speaker 6 They're like, all right, you know, we brought the guy in-house. They lose that game.
He blows that save. Like, the season's cursed.
No, it was.

Speaker 1 But now it's like

Speaker 6 they're going to win the championship. After that, I was like, the Mets are going to win the championship.

Speaker 4 They put their balls on the line on that. Yeah, it's like, we're going to go all in.
We're going to have the guy.

Speaker 4 I think Steve Cohen paid for him to stay in New York like an extra couple days just to do that.

Speaker 4 And we're going to do this live, and it's going to be incredible. But knowing the fact that if it doesn't work, if it blows up in our face, the entire season is over.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, this is going to be something that could be a disaster where he will not even want to hear that song anymore when it comes out.

Speaker 1 But he's coming back. They said that he's coming back for the playoffs.
Good. Again, I love that.
That's scary.

Speaker 6 That's alarming.

Speaker 1 That's my point. It's the coolest entrance right now going in sports.
It is must-see. Every time it happens, like, oh, this is, it somehow doesn't, it doesn't stop being cool.

Speaker 1 Like, I've seen it many times now, and it's still like, this is fucking awesome. But if Timmy the Trumpet guy comes out in a one-run game in October and Edwin Diaz blows the game,

Speaker 1 the memes and like the mocking that's going to come back on the Mets is going to be an avalanche. Yeah, that is what I like.
That's risking it all. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 4 I like going all in on this.

Speaker 1 But you're right there.

Speaker 4 I'm looking ahead, and I'm seeing a future where, in

Speaker 4 the second round of the playoffs, in in the

Speaker 4 NLCS,

Speaker 4 they lose the deciding game on a Timmy Trumpets game. Timpy Trumpets?

Speaker 6 Timmy? I think it's like Tommy Timmy. I think it's Timmy Trumpets.

Speaker 4 Timmy Trumpets.

Speaker 4 Timmy Trumpets.

Speaker 1 Tommy Kennedy.

Speaker 5 Timmy Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Timmy Trumpets. Tommy Trumpets.
Timmy Trumpets. Timmy Kennedy, Tommy Trumpets.

Speaker 4 Thomas Kennedy. Yeah.
Trumpets.

Speaker 4 If they lose the NLCS on a Trumpets game, that's going to be so fucking funny.

Speaker 1 That's kind of what I'm rooting for.

Speaker 4 I want the Mets to win. I think think that, like, even though, you know, they are in the NL East, I'm supposed to have rivalry, whatever, bullshit, I don't care about that stuff.

Speaker 4 The New York Mets are a fun team to root for this year. Correct.

Speaker 4 And with the trumpet factor, I'm rooting for them to go as far as possible while still admitting to myself, having them lose in heartbreaking fashion in the playoffs with a live Tanya Trumpets performance would be the optimal end for their season.

Speaker 1 No, the stakes could not be higher because if you become the darling of the sports world and everyone, again, besides maybe Braves fans, everyone's like, this is pretty. Nope.
Yankees.

Speaker 1 Max is saying no. He doesn't like a Phillies fan.
But most fans, maybe not in the NL East and the Yankees, think it's a very cool thing.

Speaker 1 And so if it comes back on him, it's going to be mocking season like you've never seen.

Speaker 6 One other slight critique.

Speaker 6 I think the trumpets should hit when he gets on the field.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's like when the drums come in or whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like it turns out.

Speaker 6 The trumpets don't start until he's already in the infield. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 1 We should maybe send him a letter. Yeah.
Yeah. I'll tweet at him.

Speaker 4 See if they can change that. Also, isn't the song about

Speaker 4 selling narcotics?

Speaker 6 No, it's about Narcos

Speaker 1 show. Oh.
The cops.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's about the. So he's a cop.

Speaker 6 No, I don't know. It's definitely a narcissist.

Speaker 4 I just can't wait for it.

Speaker 4 I can't wait for the first person to come out with that take.

Speaker 4 Should we really be promoting this? Like, we're talking about drug distribution.

Speaker 1 Someone will show up.

Speaker 6 Well, no, who is the Cubs guy? He used to come up to

Speaker 1 the Coke.

Speaker 6 It might not have been that one, but there was a Cubs guy in the 2016 run who had like one of the most egregious

Speaker 1 Schwarbergish bone.

Speaker 4 That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, are you talking about the Warriors did the I love I'm in Love with the Coco on the team?

Speaker 1 I'll look it up.

Speaker 4 I think that was the Miami Dolphins offensive line used to go out into the field to that one.

Speaker 1 Had it been Castro?

Speaker 1 No, Castro had a different one, and he also wasn't on that team. But yeah, I mean, the walk-up songs are cool.

Speaker 4 They should do them in other sports.

Speaker 1 It was definitely one of those nights that was like sports rule. Yeah.
Because Serena and that happening at the same time is like, yeah, sports fucking rule.

Speaker 4 I love it when people, when a night like that happens and nobody can find anything to hate on. Right.
It's so good. Yeah.
It's so good because

Speaker 4 that's what we all end up trying to do. If there's something to hate on on the internet, somebody will find it.
They'll figure out a way to hate on it. But last night

Speaker 5 seemed like a pure night, like a clean night online.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I really get that. There was one guy.
I saw one guy who was getting ratioed to fucking hell. I think he was actually the sports junkies in DC.
He was like,

Speaker 1 I just never have liked Serena. And then he tried to like double down.
He's like, I like Michael Jordan. I like Tiger Woods.
See, I black friend. I black.
Yeah. He's like, but I don't like this woman.

Speaker 1 I like Venus. Yeah, right.
It's like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, man. This is one of those nights.
You just kind of keep it to yourself. Like, this was cool.
Serena. I got the tweet.
Yeah, Serena's the end. Yes.
Read it to me.

Speaker 7 Serena was often a sore sport and very ungracious loser. When she wins, she's awesome.
She just always rubbed me the wrong way. She's the greatest of all time, though, no doubt.

Speaker 7 I just never cared for her.

Speaker 1 So save that. Yeah, so save that for that's possible ratio of the year.
How many quote tweets on it right now?

Speaker 5 1650.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's pretty much. That's a lot.

Speaker 5 Which guy was it?

Speaker 1 That's a pickle. Oh, yeah.
That's a lot. By the way, TV Junkies.
That was one of those moments. It's like,

Speaker 1 you don't have to share that take.

Speaker 1 You can just be like, yeah, sports are cool.

Speaker 4 I mean, we all remember when Serena threatened to hit the ball down the line judge's throat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was kind of awesome. There's no more line judges, by the way.

Speaker 6 Javi Baez walked out to a song called Snow.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Well, Javi's just got sweat.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's a great song, but it was like, this is what, this is just a song about Coke. Yeah, I kind of like it, though.
Yeah, just let it happen. Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you have that type of swag, like, there's certain players in baseball that's like, yeah, they can do whatever they want. They just got swag.

Speaker 1 I mean, Javi was a hobby being hobby, like, just swing at everything, make crazy plays, try to steal every base. And Tigers fans have him for like seven years, $350 million.

Speaker 4 I do need to see Tiger in her box more, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think every time.

Speaker 1 That can't be edited. we need to lock these.
We need to have some that are like, we can't lock, we can't edit these.

Speaker 4 Dude, the best part was Tiger Woods fist pumping her box. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like the entire box.

Speaker 4 He's he was just standing up, just ripped as hell, just fist going right through the box.

Speaker 7 Tonight, there could be some big names. I might be going.
Shout out game time. Venus and Serena in doubles together for the last.

Speaker 1 So it's a sick double letter.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's all kind of Mickey Mouse because Jokovich isn't here.

Speaker 7 Women's doubles?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jokovich would have won that too.

Speaker 4 Jokovich

Speaker 4 raises the profile of the women's doubles. Yeah, that should be fun.
That'll be fun.

Speaker 5 I like it.

Speaker 1 See, Jokovich is a true hero of mine because Serena threatened the ball person, and Jokovich actually just smoked the ball person. Like, he goes through with his actions.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Before we do Mount Rushmore, is Liv playing this weekend?

Speaker 6 I don't know. They're in Boston.
In Massachusetts, yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel like Liv golf is now,

Speaker 1 it's over.

Speaker 4 It fell off? Because they don't have.

Speaker 1 Well, they were getting most.

Speaker 4 They were getting of their publicity from the PGA tour that was yelling and crying about how bad Liv was. But now that the PGA isn't playing, it's like, what's going on?

Speaker 4 They don't have anybody to fight. They wept for there were no more emperors to conquer.
Right.

Speaker 1 And they're going up against football and none of these tournaments matter. Right.
They're like friendlies. They're playing friendlies.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm not saying like the people want their money. I'm not judging them.
I'm just saying. I don't think Liv is on my calendar for this weekend of must-watch.

Speaker 5 Not at all.

Speaker 4 Not at all. It's funny.
Gary Plair entered the fray yesterday, and Gary Plair, he's getting paid by Golf Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 4 So he is actually himself personally a spokesperson for the Saudi Arabian government. It has nothing to do with the Live Tour.

Speaker 4 He just loves Saudi Arabia that much that he made a special deal with them on the side to be like, promote our country.

Speaker 4 Gary Plair came out and said, I hate the Live Tour. It's bullshit.
They're taking these players away from the PGA tour, and they're ruining these players' career. So

Speaker 4 he's like so pro-Saudi Arabia that he kind of hates the live tour, which doesn't make any sense if you hear it like that.

Speaker 4 But he's attacking Saudi Arabia because he's more pro-Saudi Arabia than they are. Right.

Speaker 1 And this is what we're finding out, though, with like the live tour, and we'll see where it goes. But

Speaker 1 sports have to mean something. Like we said last night, you know, Serena, at the end of, like, if Serena was just playing some rogue tennis tour, everyone would be like, okay, cool.
But it's the U.S.

Speaker 1 Open. Yeah.
That's something. That means something.
Like, imagine if they played, you know, there was NFL teams that broke off and they didn't play for the Super Bowl. I would still watch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would watch. That one we'd definitely watch.

Speaker 1 That actually, if Liv, if Saudi Arabia really wants to do it,

Speaker 1 they should figure out a way to just split half of the NFL so we get NFL football all year round.

Speaker 4 I mean, you're talking about the XFL now.

Speaker 1 But no, but actual NFL players.

Speaker 4 And have a second Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not.
Just take, just buy the NFL. Half the

Speaker 1 league. Yeah, and just be like, we're just going to play this in the spring.

Speaker 4 Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1 Because then you don't have to deal with, you know, oh, they're not as good players.

Speaker 1 Okay, should we do Mount Rushmore? We have two left.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Mount Rushmore of worst people on public transportation. Hank, since he has gone solo, has put back-to-back 13% votes.

Speaker 4 Consistent.

Speaker 1 Today was 12. 12? Oh, 13 and then 12.
So he's getting worse.

Speaker 4 Jake was such an alpha move right there, being factually correct, but completely unnecessarily burying Hank.

Speaker 7 This is the penultimate Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Okay, penultimate Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 Who should we have go first?

Speaker 4 I think we've got a deep roster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe have Hank and maybe go Hank and then Jilly and then us.

Speaker 4 If Hank has bullets himself again, then just, yeah. You give Hank as much rope as he wants and he'll just hang himself.
So, yeah, go ahead, Hank.

Speaker 1 I actually had someone text me who's like, who's a friend of mine who's listens to the show but not super into the internet and he's like did he pick the terrorist organization?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 no, he picked Hezbollah.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 that's how bad the pick was.

Speaker 1 Hezbollah.

Speaker 4 Worst people in public transport. ISIS.

Speaker 1 Come on. Let's

Speaker 1 make.

Speaker 5 I mean, you can make the argument.

Speaker 1 That's actually, yeah, that's actually a good pick. Definitely if I gave it away.
You gave that away.

Speaker 6 The person who plays music with no headphones.

Speaker 4 Okay. Okay.
Good choice.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Good choice.

Speaker 4 Hank's so on edge right now.

Speaker 6 No, I'm not. I just yeah, you're looking around.

Speaker 1 You got the shifty eyes.

Speaker 6 I have an edge. I've lost my edge.
You're dull?

Speaker 1 You have no edge left?

Speaker 4 I'm edge left. It's smooth.
Damn.

Speaker 5 What's happened to our boy?

Speaker 1 Someone tweeted me this morning, PFT, I was like, when Mount Rushmore season's over, will you stop bullying Hank? And I was like,

Speaker 1 he tweeted both of us. I was like, no.

Speaker 4 Hank bullies himself. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I don't have an edge, and I'm just, I'm excited for football to come back and, you know, positive vibes and all that shit. But you guys destroyed Mount Rushmore forever.

Speaker 6 You took a bunch of dynamite and blew it up last year.

Speaker 1 I think this has been an incredible Mount Rushmore season.

Speaker 6 I just threw the pizza toppings, Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 6 You turned Mount Rushmore into live, the live tour. This is just an exhibition, and that's fine.

Speaker 1 I noticed that your reasons for us ruining Mount Rushmore have changed.

Speaker 6 No, that's always been it.

Speaker 1 Oh, that. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think this has been a very funny, very good Mount Rushmore season. Yeah, but whatever.
Whatever. Yeah, you're right.
Okay. No, it's been great.

Speaker 4 The feedback that we've gotten has been tremendous. I agree.

Speaker 6 I'm happy. If you guys are happy, I'm happy.

Speaker 1 Okay, then Hank's happy. Great.
Hank, you're happier than all of us. Are you happy? Yeah, I'm very happy.

Speaker 6 And I'm super happy.

Speaker 1 Are you happy, Billy?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Billy, you've put up two dubs in the last 16.

Speaker 4 Max, are you happy?

Speaker 1 I'm the most happy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because he's not with Hank anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sounds like the vibes are great here. We're all happy.

Speaker 10 Thinking of taking Terrace for the first place.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it's not a bad pick. I kind of want to go with it.

Speaker 5 We are the worst people on public transport.

Speaker 8 No, that is not our pick.

Speaker 1 Okay, what is your pick?

Speaker 6 Who's the alpha on this team, Bill?

Speaker 7 Max, did any stick out to you? I feel like they're all pretty similar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I'm just gonna say that.

Speaker 6 Possibly Sour Pussy maybe figure this out before we start recording. I'm not gonna say that.
I'm happy you guys are just doing this live.

Speaker 7 Hankstress Anger because he's losing.

Speaker 1 We're gonna go with it.

Speaker 6 Tune into the disc golf video today.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, yes. Talk about it.
When is that coming out? It comes out.

Speaker 6 It's out now. If you're listening or watching, it's already out.
It's made.

Speaker 1 Let me talk about happy times.

Speaker 8 So much worse than I remember it. It's so bad.

Speaker 1 I've never seen that. I've been seeing Jake at more odds than this video.
It was so

Speaker 1 love it. And it was so great, too, because it was, I remember vividly, it was the end of grit week, and I was just like ready to go home and see my family.

Speaker 8 Very last day, like right before we went to the plane. So everyone was so on edge.
And like, it was like, it was legitimate tension.

Speaker 1 I was just vibing because I was like watching these guys.

Speaker 4 so i was i wasn't on edge at all but i think jake was a little on edge because he didn't have as much water as he would have the camel back broke right before yeah so jake had had to make do uh playing like nine holes in mini golf with two giant water bottles and uh he was stressed out about the sun i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy stressed out about the sun it's a terrible spot to be in yeah and uh jake you know jake is uh he's not he's not really a road dog there are things about road life that i think affect jake's day-to-day schedules more than it affects really messy unorganized people like myself.

Speaker 4 So at the end of this,

Speaker 4 he was on edge and Hank knows exactly how to get under his skin and also vice versa. So check it out.
It was great.

Speaker 1 I think there was a moment where I talked to PFT on the side and I was just like,

Speaker 1 Jake hasn't been on seven grit weeks. You know, at the end of grit week, you just got to just kind of shut up and go home.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, you were good right afterwards. So

Speaker 1 we're great. We're great.
We're happy. Yeah.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Here we go.
Everyone's going to be here. Here's the second pick.

Speaker 1 By the way, this entire conversation, the entire time, Billy's just been thinking about terrorists on a fucking trade

Speaker 1 in his head.

Speaker 1 He's been Mark Wahlburn himself being like, I take him down so fast. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 7 All right. We're going to go with the person who talks on the phone on speaker.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 Okay. Okay.
It's just so unnecessary. No one cares about it.

Speaker 1 That was our first pick, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, what do we want to do? I think we've got to go to our one. Yeah, let's go terrorists.
Yeah, we'll go terrorists. I told you we should should have terrorists.

Speaker 1 Terrorists are by far the worst people.

Speaker 4 I can't believe that you guys didn't take terrorists. There's nothing worse than terrorists.

Speaker 1 A terrorist on a public transportation, really bad time. Yeah.
Just a really, really bad time.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then our second pick will be the guy who poops. And you get on the train and it just smells like shit.
And it's just like, oh, fuck. You always show up on that train.
You're like, oh, nice.

Speaker 4 A lot of seats. Jersey Jerry?

Speaker 1 No, yeah. Well, it could be.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I think we were thinking of the guy that maybe has already pooped when you get on the train.

Speaker 1 Right. Oh, that's why nobody.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, that got on the train after Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 4 No one's at that end of the train. Right.

Speaker 1 And you hop on, you're like free seat, and then you get on, you're like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 That's why no one's sitting near here because there's poop. So, yeah, Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 10 I can't believe you guys talked me out of Terrace.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that was a great pick by us.

Speaker 4 I honestly don't think that we need to pick again. I think Terrace and Poop guy.

Speaker 1 How can you say, like,

Speaker 1 what would you say? Like, oh, no, this person is listening to music too loud. Oh, no, this person's trying to kill us all.
Which one's worse?

Speaker 4 What kind of music is it?

Speaker 1 Okay. You're so.

Speaker 10 I'm actually taking charge of this next one.

Speaker 10 Drunk and disorderly puker.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 10 Drunk guy who pukes on the train. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a cousin of the poop guy. Yeah.
You're just like, well, this ruins the whole train car. Yeah.
Yeah. Good one.

Speaker 4 Have you ever been that guy?

Speaker 4 Have you ever been that guy? That was, yes, that was an extreme.

Speaker 1 No, I haven't

Speaker 1 been polite.

Speaker 10 I go between the cars and puke and pee and poop.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 10 Because I, you know, risk my life. That's illegal.

Speaker 10 Weren't you big on the laws?

Speaker 1 Yeah, fair point. Okay.
Hank.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you wish you had terrorists.

Speaker 6 No, I know, and I want to say something else, but now I'm like, I don't want to

Speaker 1 go over the top. Well, just what could be more over the top? Rapists.
Oh, okay. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that was free.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but it's going to look bad being the second pick that you had.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Wait, Hank's order of crimes, listening to music too loudly, raped. No, no headphones.

Speaker 1 Rape. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I know that. Whatever.

Speaker 1 By the way, can I, because we're in the trust tree, this is weird to say right after you said the rapist is your pick, but I've caught myself a couple of times not having headphones and listening.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't do it on the train, but walking down the street. I'll just have it on like a podcast if I'm trying to listen for a couple blocks.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you do the move where you hold it?

Speaker 1 Kind Kind of a power move. I always hold it.
I'll hold it like kind of close, but you could definitely hear it. I don't know.
I think I'm kind of into it.

Speaker 4 After being in the podcast game for so long, I know that there's so many times where we say something on this show that I would not want somebody to listen to me listening to

Speaker 4 on speakerphone. So I just always go like right up to the ear.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, very, very low. I mean, I have something that it's probably going to make me sound like an absolute freak, but I...
I think about this all the time when I'm on public transportation.

Speaker 6 It's like if I could pick a superpower, it wouldn't be like the greatest superpower in the world, but I wish that I could

Speaker 6 know what other people are listening to.

Speaker 1 Like, you ever just look at the people that you're on the train with?

Speaker 6 You're like, what is that person listening to? What is that person listening to? What does that person listen to?

Speaker 1 It'd be so interesting.

Speaker 4 I like that. I've always thought.

Speaker 6 I'm always just like, what is like, are they listening to music, listening to podcasts? Like, you know, size them up.

Speaker 4 I've thought a cool thing would be if you had that feature if you were in a car on the highway and you get to know what every other car around would be cool too they have on yes and then you see the person who's not listening to anything.

Speaker 1 You're like, stay away from them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 So, yeah, rapist bad. And then we'll go with

Speaker 4 long story short.

Speaker 1 Yeah, long story short.

Speaker 6 Similar vein, the person that puts their bag on an open seat next to them.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 7 I had that next. Good pick.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Jake.

Speaker 1 You guys have a pick.

Speaker 10 Should we go with like the worst person ever?

Speaker 1 Worstly.

Speaker 1 Billy's going to go with Joe Biden. Boxy Wood.

Speaker 1 Or Mike.

Speaker 1 My bad.

Speaker 8 Someone who eats warm food or just smells food.

Speaker 1 Smells food. Yep.
That's a good one. That is a very good one.

Speaker 1 Okay. What do we want to do?

Speaker 4 Joe Biden's not a bad pick. He used to take the train all the time, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 5 Peter King, he's a big train guy.

Speaker 4 Huge.

Speaker 4 Half of his football column would be about the Acela.

Speaker 1 And the Algash White.

Speaker 1 I think four actually. So I was thinking more.

Speaker 1 I know it's an iteration, but it's been asking the dude's Mount Rushmore for like a month. He contributed.
Okay. I think it's the guy standing.
Or we could do number eight. That guy sucks too.

Speaker 4 Ooh, eight's bad. Yep.
Four's bad. And

Speaker 1 you know what?

Speaker 1 Eleven's bad. 11.
All right, so we'll go. All right.
So our next pick will be the person who doesn't let people get off before they get on. Just

Speaker 1 doesn't listen to

Speaker 1 the most basic rules of decorum where they're just trying to shove their way on before everyone get off. And it just fucks up the whole flow.

Speaker 4 It jams people up.

Speaker 4 The traffic jam goes all the way back to the inside of the train, like the middle of the train.

Speaker 1 The worst. The worst.
All right. And then you...

Speaker 1 I think I go eight. Okay.
I like that. We're going to go huge bike guy.
Huge bike guy.

Speaker 4 The guy that's standing there with his...

Speaker 4 giant bike that he could be riding at this exact time, but instead he's choosing to take up space for about seven or eight other people that could be on that train.

Speaker 1 You have the means of transportation.

Speaker 10 That's only if it's crowded.

Speaker 4 But I mean, yeah, I mean, this is public transportation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. It's pretty much always crowded.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so if any of these, you could say if it was like an empty train, no big deal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if I was on an empty train with a terrorist, it'd be like, well, can only kill one person. I guess I'll skip today.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, not worth his time. Right.

Speaker 1 So, our pick? Yes.

Speaker 10 So we're going to go with aggressive panhandler.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 10 Like, it's okay if you're down, like, but if you're aggressive, getting people's faces, like almost shaking them down with the use of intimidation,

Speaker 5 that sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is. It does suck.

Speaker 10 That definitely sucks. There with yelling.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yelling.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 4 You got spat on by a guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. And you didn't do anything, you pussy.
I didn't.

Speaker 4 Well, I bucked. And then I took a step back, and I was like, it's not, you know what? It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 That's one of those moments where it's like, oh, man, I would fuck someone up and spit on me. And then when it happens in reality, you just don't do anything.
You're just shocked.

Speaker 1 You're just like, what? I don't want to do anything here. There's nothing I can do.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Hank, last pick. My last pick,

Speaker 6 when I used to live in Williamsburg, there was always

Speaker 6 entertainers because it's a long

Speaker 6 subway ride from the Williamsburg stop to

Speaker 6 the Manhattan. So people, like the entertainers, would basically just get on, go to Manhattan, and then go back reverse because it's like a 10-minute stop.
You can do like kind of a performance.

Speaker 6 Right. So I dealt with this a lot.
And some people are good. I enjoy the people that dance even though, you know, they borderline.
You're like, maybe this person's going to kick someone in the face.

Speaker 1 That'd be awesome.

Speaker 6 Maybe they're, maybe they're doing some cool shit. It's fun.

Speaker 4 The hat guy that's always bouncing the hat around.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like, yeah, like I have no problem with that. I enjoy it.
It's a nice little mix up, you know, and they work. Like, you get a little entertainment.
But by far the worst is a bad singer. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like someone who comes on and they're just going through the motions. They'll sing for like two seconds, then walk around expecting money, or they're just, they're just bad.

Speaker 6 Like, they're not doing it to entertain, they're just doing it because they think they can, you know, bad entertainers, yeah, pay and handle and just get a little money, and it's just like it's brutal.

Speaker 6 Yeah, bad singers, or, or when they're singing right next to you, and you

Speaker 6 like have your headphones in, and it's like you can't even hear your music, you can't block them out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 4 We had that on our list as well.

Speaker 4 I think we talked about this on the show one time about

Speaker 4 how some of our biggest fears are we end up in a viral video.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 4 that's mine. It's like a world-class musician playing the most expensive violin ever created and people just walking past them and not paying attention.

Speaker 4 And then you end up on the internet be like, look what society has become. Look at all these assholes.
And then you're one of those guys.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that does suck. I think that might have been on like a rational fears, Mount Rushmore.
Yeah, that I think about constantly.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'll just stop and stand there for two minutes just in case.

Speaker 1 All right. So what do we miss? So you had

Speaker 1 backpack on the seat guy. I think there's a different one, a cousin of that.
It's big backpack guy when you're standing and they don't do the thing where they put it in front. That sucks.

Speaker 1 That always sucks. Memes texted, gay Spanish guy who takes acid and starts pretending to touch people, then the guy he pretends to touch beats the shit out of him, making a huge scene.
What?

Speaker 1 That seems pretty cool.

Speaker 6 So which one? So both of them?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 I think he's going after the guy that got beat up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Memes?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we didn't use that one. No, we didn't use that one.

Speaker 1 I think that has to have been a meme.

Speaker 6 I don't know. He said it's all from personal experience.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay the person who pushes you in front of a moving train in season two of a tv show because your dc politics blog is getting too close to figuring out your plan to go from house whip to president

Speaker 1 that guy sucks probably sucks in real life spoiler house cards but you can't watch it anymore um

Speaker 10 uh guy who jumps in front of the train and delays everyone so that happened three days in a row on the path train a guy died the same guy different

Speaker 10 that guy sucks am i not right hank it was ridiculous that's how hank and i ended up on the ferry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, some comedian had a bit about it. We were just like, that's how cold people in New York are.

Speaker 1 It's like, they'll come over the overspeak, over the intercom being like, yeah, we've had an incident. Someone has, you know, jumped in front of the train.

Speaker 1 And it was like, damn, fuck, I'm going to miss my meeting. It's like, yeah, someone died.

Speaker 10 Maybe if they were more considerate in life.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 What about the guy that

Speaker 4 yawns really loudly and strangely on a train?

Speaker 1 Probably tired. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Mets fans.

Speaker 1 We don't want to deal with that person. Don't take public transportation.

Speaker 4 Jerk-off guy.

Speaker 1 Guy jerking off in the middle of the subway. I kind of like that.

Speaker 1 That's how you officially become a Natalie. That's how I'm out on the list.

Speaker 4 That's how you become a New Yorker is the first time you encounter a jerk-off guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it doesn't phase you.
No.

Speaker 1 You don't become a New Yorker until it doesn't phase you. Because I remember the first time, and I was like, whoa.
And then

Speaker 4 during COVID, there was like a dude who i i'm pretty sure just jerked off every day at the corner of our office and i just see him every day like all right cool i was out uh do your thing i was out for a run this was like a year ago i may have told you about this and i i come around the corner and there's a guy that's standing on the sidewalk

Speaker 4 you came around the corner yeah billy i came around the corner so i i was i was out for a jog i was coming around the corner and this guy looks at me it's a kind of a secluded spot that he's in so it's not like a super public part of the road and he looks at me and he's surprised because I'm coming around the corner

Speaker 4 and he's like oh no because he's nutting he's starting to nut just as I come around the corner and I stop I'm like oh my god and I run and I hear his his sperm hit the cardboard box that's in front of him it was fucking disgusting I don't if I don't think as as many years as you can live in New York, that will never be will never be desensitized to hearing another man come.

Speaker 1 No, definitely not.

Speaker 1 I guess this would be related to the guy who's mass reigning is pda people people are just making out in everyone's face um

Speaker 1 what else do we have oh i did say yeah uh the the big mets fan uh both literally and figuratively who just screams at everyone whenever there's a delay yep incompetent not anyone specific but that guy

Speaker 6 who else do we have i do love that guy the one he did the other day like he i i just respect his like lack of of giving a fuck where it got delayed and he just whipped out his cell phone and was was screaming.

Speaker 6 And, like, there's people from me and Jake's distance,

Speaker 6 and he was like panning around.

Speaker 1 Like, people, you know, it's awkward. We're all in this.

Speaker 6 It's awkward to pull your cell phone out and like start talking and ranting. Like, usually, you try and do it somewhere privately.
Like, he just busted his phone out and was just like screaming.

Speaker 6 And the people were just standing there, like, hello?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, we're all just stuck here.
This sucks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Body odor guy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Terrible. Smelly person.
Terrible.

Speaker 1 I I think that was it for our whole list. Oh,

Speaker 1 the person who just doesn't know how to ride the train and doesn't hold on. And then you get a stop and they just like fucking.
Domino? Yeah. They just hit everyone like a bowling ball.

Speaker 7 I do that, but like I brace my feet because I don't want to touch the poles.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Especially during COVID.
So you are that guy. Yeah, but I don't fly.
You go surface.

Speaker 4 You go swag subway surfer.

Speaker 1 But you definitely fly sometimes. No.
Really?

Speaker 7 I've never flown. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 You're going to. You just jinx yourself.
Yep. You announcer jinx yourself.
That's definitely going to happen.

Speaker 1 We'll see.

Speaker 10 I used to have a big problem differentiating tourist and terrorist when I was much younger, and I used to use them in the wrong places.

Speaker 1 What were you talking about, like last month? Much younger? No, like I was younger.

Speaker 4 Like the words.

Speaker 10 Like, are those tourists or terrorists?

Speaker 1 And I'd point it, yeah, when I was younger.

Speaker 4 Wait, really bad. Are you saying you didn't know the difference between the words, or you saw somebody like a tourist with a map and a camera? Yeah.
They're a terrorist.

Speaker 1 I would mix it up

Speaker 10 because they're kind of easy to mix up. Taurus, terrorist.

Speaker 1 Also, I can understand, like,

Speaker 1 my son is now at the age where he's like, just says stuff out loud. Like, we saw twins the other day, and he just said out loud, like, what are those? I like it.

Speaker 1 I like it. It's like, okay, cool.
So, yeah.

Speaker 1 I get it. I get what you're saying, Billy.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I used to ride the bus with my grandmother sometimes, and there were some nuns on the bus, and she told me that they were witches.

Speaker 4 That was good. That fucked me up for a few years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fucking Rolled Dolls witches movie. That fucked me up for a lot.
I watched that way too young.

Speaker 4 That's probably why I hate Sister Gene actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. I think I saw that movie when I was like seven and that movie is not for seven-year-olds.

Speaker 1 Okay, good Mount Rushmore. Last one on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Team Hank will have a super team. It'll be Team Hank squared with Tom Fernelli.

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Speaker 1 Okay, it is one of our favorite guests, favorite people in the world. We've been, the AWL has been clamoring for this.
It is our good, good friend, Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 4 J-O-C.

Speaker 1 J-O-C for

Speaker 1 our fantasy football preview.

Speaker 12 I'm actually technically an AWL. I mean,

Speaker 12 I know that AWL is clamoring for it, but I am.

Speaker 4 Have you been clamoring for yourself?

Speaker 12 Actually, I was shocked to hear how many people are basing.

Speaker 12 I mean, it's a joke because I have no authority in the fantasy football world at all.

Speaker 12 Like these people, if you listen to these podcasts, these people crunch numbers and everything and understand about defenses and offenses and contract negotiations and whether

Speaker 12 Lamar Jackson, where Lamar Jackson is in his own negotiations and all that sort of stuff.

Speaker 12 But I have no, like, I don't have a degree in that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you have strong opinions, Tamar. And the thing is, like, I saw somebody tweet this the other day.

Speaker 4 Like, I'm excited to hear what 30 players should be eligible to be drafted in fantasy football because you hate so many teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What 16 teams are we not drafting anyone from?

Speaker 12 Well, actually,

Speaker 12 I do have a lot of negativity toward a majority, I believe. You're correct.

Speaker 12 And it just comes from experience of being let down

Speaker 12 year after year

Speaker 12 in fantasy football. You know, I've said this on your show before, and I'll say it again.
The last time I won.

Speaker 12 fantasy football, Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, and Maurice Jones Drew were my starters. And so that was before a lot of your listeners.

Speaker 1 But I think that's very relatable.

Speaker 4 They don't even know. Like, nobody wins fantasy football.
I'm convinced that nobody actually wins in this sport because I never win either.

Speaker 12 Oh, but fellas, fellas, we had a really good draft

Speaker 1 tonight.

Speaker 12 I got to say, that C.J. McCollum draft, they were really drafting.
You know, they were just...

Speaker 12 They were just drafting whatever the website was saying. Oh, this is the next valuable player.
But

Speaker 12 I have spent

Speaker 12 thousands of dollars on programs and sites and i've done research and i was picking the most perfect picks for you and

Speaker 12 your fantasy league

Speaker 12 last night i really appreciate you doing this i really invested not only a lot of my time but a lot of my money. And I really had to sift through.

Speaker 12 When you're getting help from fantasy sites, some of them, you know, I just click on all of them. I get a little tipsy at night and I'm like, oh, this looks good.

Speaker 12 And you'll click on it and you'll give them your credit card, which is just, it's just such a mistake because it's like, it's like joining like a vitamin, like

Speaker 12 a vitamin

Speaker 12 like

Speaker 12 program where they keep charging you for vitamins and you like literally have to like get a lawyer to get them to stop charging.

Speaker 1 You could just say OnlyFans. We know that you signed up for OnlyFans and then you just always every day when they're like, hey, look at these new pictures.

Speaker 1 and you're just like, All right, hit it, hit it, hit it. It's okay.

Speaker 12 Well, it's just difficult too, because I'm not going to mention any specific sites, but you mentioned that site like your family then can see on your credit card bill what you're paying for, and then it's brought up in front of your children, and it just becomes

Speaker 12 a thing, you know?

Speaker 4 That would be a very embarrassing credit card report to be read aloud in a court of law if it ever comes to that situation, where it's like 17 different sites that start.

Speaker 12 It's not a court of law, it's more like

Speaker 1 therapy, like therapists. Yeah.

Speaker 12 All right, so therapists, that's like embarrassing when there's evidence. When there's evidence, like you have to be careful, all those paper trails.
But,

Speaker 12 you know,

Speaker 12 I joined one fantasy

Speaker 12 guidance site, and I could just tell they were

Speaker 12 from Chechnya, and like, they were like, yes, you will draft Thorman Thomas.

Speaker 1 Draft

Speaker 1 win your league in 1992. Yeah, wait, so, Jerry, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Yes, this is the Gin Kelly is the best quarterback for your team, DC.

Speaker 12 We need social security number

Speaker 1 for

Speaker 12 your fantasy league and date of birth and mothers made that name.

Speaker 4 There's only one person that we were going to ask to be the general manager of our team. We tried to do it last year.
I sent you on a wild goose chase for that draft, and I apologize for that one.

Speaker 4 That was a debacle. You spent probably hours at a computer waiting to get the right information.
I couldn't get it to you.

Speaker 12 It doesn't matter. I did go to a FedEx office and it was me just punching the screen in a FedEx office and people recording me and saying, look at this.

Speaker 1 Look at this unhouse person going crazy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you end up on TMZ, somebody taking a cell phone video. Jerry O'Connell breaks a FedEx office clean open because he's frustrated.
He can't log into his fantasy draft.

Speaker 1 But we should say, Jerry, this is a real league.

Speaker 1 So CJ McCollum's league, everyone here in this room, and part of my take room we're paying real money i think it's 2500 bucks it's real money you're our general manager so why don't you we have no idea who you drafted why don't we go down the list okay and give us who you drafted and tell us your reasoning behind it and then we can we can do some big picture stuff for the people at home all right uh you have it in front of you or no you have no you're gonna break the news to us we haven't checked it so i don't know if you know any of the other players in the league but um the ones that you might know julius randall is in that league and then Turtle, Jerry Ferrara is in the league as well.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 heard of all those guys, so so yeah, we'll let you break the news to us because I don't have no idea who you drafted, I'm just excited as you were last night. This is like unveiling it to me.

Speaker 12 All right, here we go. Uh, first of all, my team's name is Jerry's Kids, which uh

Speaker 12 those who may or may not remember, that was uh, um,

Speaker 12 they were special needs children.

Speaker 1 Isn't that what so it's a joke I've heard a lot isn't that is that Jerry jerry sandusky's uh no that was oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no i just no no that was

Speaker 12 the first mile or something okay all right i just want to make sure so with my first pick last night i took the derrick henry now i had a choice between derrick henry or

Speaker 12 or um dalvin cook

Speaker 12 And I had Dalvin Cook in another league last season, and

Speaker 12 he

Speaker 12 didn't really produce i'm sorry he did on one like thursday night game against the cardinals in like week 18 when it didn't matter and i i just um the computers were telling me to take uh dalvin but i went with derrick henry he's just yeah and he gets to play against the jaguars twice and the texans twice yeah that's always good okay

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 they don't have

Speaker 12 really,

Speaker 12 I mean, as far as I'm concerned, any other weapons other than him, so he's going to see a lot of production. And so, I took Derrick Henry as your first pick, and I felt

Speaker 4 that's his nickname. Very cool, yeah.

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 for your second pick, uh, I took uh Brees Hall because I love the Jets.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding, everyone.

Speaker 1 No, but that's you,

Speaker 1 you would take that. That's not crazy.

Speaker 4 You thought about taking

Speaker 12 no uh for your second pick, I took um, and I'm with uh, I'm with BC on this one. Um,

Speaker 12 uh, I took Javante Williams. I think I'm with BC here, and I believe the Broncos are going to have a pretty epic season.
I think it's going to be an offensive

Speaker 12 powerhouse. I also have a theory about the Broncos

Speaker 12 because the air is thin up there,

Speaker 12 they just air it out.

Speaker 12 McMattis is just kicking field goals, and just Wilson is just throwing it in the air, and the ball travels farther because it's so thin.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we're going. So there is people that say the zero running back strategy.
We're going with all running back strategy.

Speaker 12 Listen, I'm an old school gentleman. I draft two running backs in the first two rounds.
That's how I go. And I'm not drafting a tight end until the fifth round.
That's how I am. I'm old school.

Speaker 12 I came up on fantasy when you would have to open up the paper Monday morning and check your stats. And then you would do the math and tell the rest of the team how you did.
I'm an old school fellow.

Speaker 12 A lot of these kids have their apps, have their websites. That's not how I roll.
They're drafting in a lot of leagues. Justin Herbert has been going the third and fourth pick.

Speaker 12 That's not how I do it. I'm an old school fantasy football player.
Old school.

Speaker 1 OS for life.

Speaker 1 You're smash mouth.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 4 You're a smash mouth guy. So, but what would you say to the people that are like, hey, Jerry, yeah, they throw the ball a lot in Denver.
They like to air it out.

Speaker 4 A lot of points being put up by Russell Wilson, as you actually just said that a second ago. But Javante Williams is a running back.

Speaker 4 So I don't know how that I trust you.

Speaker 12 Listen,

Speaker 12 a lot of kids do, you know, stupid things these days. They do, you know,

Speaker 12 you know, Tide Pod challenges as well. And does that mean I should go do a Tide Pod challenge? Like, no, I don't care what the kids are doing.
This is like, this is how I roll. You made me.

Speaker 12 Look, I mean, I know you had Coach Arians on the other day. He was like real old school.
I'm

Speaker 12 old school.

Speaker 1 I'm old school.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 12 You're getting two running backs.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 12 With your third pick, I took Keenan Allen.

Speaker 12 Who

Speaker 12 it's so funny. I had some options here.

Speaker 12 Justin Herbert went. I had a shot to go for Josh Allen, but the computers were telling me it was a little more of a

Speaker 12 more of a stretch to grab him. But I went with Keenan Allen.
I'm going to tell you in a moment who everyone should and shouldn't be

Speaker 12 drafting.

Speaker 12 I should say this is just my opinion. Please don't write me after this and say you lost your league because of this advice.
This is just,

Speaker 12 I mean, this is a bad time to tell you this, but it's just sort of like whimsical. It's by

Speaker 12 my whims.

Speaker 12 I have no proof as to these results or numbers or anything. Whereas if you listen to a real fantasy football podcast, they have numbers to back things up.
This is just based on my anger in fantasy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how many teams in this league? 12? 12. 12.
Okay. Okay, all right.
I was just looking because I was just trying to figure it out.

Speaker 1 Uh, Javante Williams ranked, you know, he's a tier three running back. We got him in the second round, though.
That's pretty good value, right?

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 I, you know,

Speaker 12 I want to apologize. I may have taken, no, uh, yeah, we got him in the second round.

Speaker 1 All right, all right, so let's go to round four.

Speaker 4 That's totally fine. Listen, you probably would have taken him in the first.

Speaker 12 You know,

Speaker 12 I had to circle back, and it's that circle back you get so scared of somebody else. Like, God forbid, Jerry Ferreira picks him up or something.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so

Speaker 4 what pick did we have?

Speaker 1 Were we Derrick Henry?

Speaker 4 What was he like?

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, resume.

Speaker 4 That's where you got bad luck with the draft order. You don't want to be six.
Yeah,

Speaker 12 I think sixth is a good place to be. I'm not taking Christian McCaffrey.
I'm not doing that. I'm not, uh, I'm not taking Najee Harris.
I'm not

Speaker 1 sixth. All right, so, so, round four.

Speaker 12 Uh, round three, we're at. I took Keenan now.
Okay, round round four.

Speaker 12 Well, this is where you are going to get a little upset. I did take this off.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. I told you guys

Speaker 1 I have to have one Jet on my team. Damn it.

Speaker 12 I can't take Zach Wilson. Who knows what's going to happen there? It's probably going to be Flacco.
We got to have a Jet. I got to do it for Billy.
I got to do it for...

Speaker 12 We got to have a Jet. I mean, we're going to watch the first two Jets games anyway.
So we might as well see what comes up.

Speaker 4 Okay, so that's actually a fair strategy.

Speaker 4 I like that looking at what teams will be in prime time at the start of the year where we're going to have to watch their games and then drafting players from those teams.

Speaker 4 I like that because it just makes it a little bit more fun.

Speaker 12 The Jets are never going to be in prime time. They're never.

Speaker 12 I mean, I live on the West Coast.

Speaker 12 Those games, usually the games start at 10 a.m., which is an awesome reason to move to the West Coast, by the way, everyone, because you wake up and there's football happening immediately.

Speaker 12 You don't have that three-hour window where you're still shaking from the night before and you don't know what to do with yourself.

Speaker 12 There's like no excuses. You can jump right into football.

Speaker 12 But

Speaker 12 I just have you guys know my rules. I have to have a Brown and I have to have a Jets.

Speaker 4 I do know your rules.

Speaker 12 And I have to have Jags.

Speaker 1 I'm looking right now.

Speaker 1 Yes, the Jets do have a primetime game. Week 16, Thursday night against the Jaguars.
Oh, love it. That's going to be a hell of a game.
Week 16

Speaker 4 against the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 Thursday night against the Jaguars. That is their prime time.
I'm calling it right now.

Speaker 4 Brees Hall is going to go off that game.

Speaker 12 Better make sure my Amazon Prime is up to pay.

Speaker 1 All right. So we're

Speaker 1 giving Baseball. So we have

Speaker 1 three running backs in four rounds. Tell me who we got in round five, not another running back.

Speaker 12 No, we actually went

Speaker 12 Joe.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. Good pick.

Speaker 12 I just

Speaker 12 like having, there's really only like three or four quarterbacks I really wanted. You know, Russell Wilson's been going late in a lot of these.

Speaker 12 I don't know. He's just, it's a sexy pick, you know?

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 a sexy pick. It's a sexy pick.
Yes. Okay.
This will feel like we're moving in the right direction here.

Speaker 12 Then

Speaker 12 things got a little dicey.

Speaker 12 Because the computers were starting to say different things for me because I have a number of websites that are giving me

Speaker 12 live information as to who I should be picking. So the numbers were, it's sort of like, it was like crypto.
It was like, I didn't understand.

Speaker 4 So like high-speed transactions, you pay for so many services that will actually coach you through your draft. Yeah, well, it was slowing down your computer.

Speaker 1 It was also probably confusing because in round six, they were probably like, now's a good time to take Brees Hall.

Speaker 12 You're going to be really upset.

Speaker 12 But I was afraid he was going to leave us and get taken off the board. I took Melvin Gordon next because I really want to handcuff

Speaker 1 Javante Williams. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I understand the logic. Okay.
So we now have a handcuff in round two.

Speaker 4 You're going to laugh, but when Javante Williams, when he like pulls a hamstring, week two, we're going to be kissing Jerry's toes.

Speaker 1 It's smart to get a handcuff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Of our backup running back. We got to win.
Yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 because I have.

Speaker 12 BC,

Speaker 12 first of all,

Speaker 12 I want to thank you for your confidence, but BC,

Speaker 1 come come on, man. You put me in charge of this.

Speaker 1 I'll be positive, but I just want to just remind everyone, I have a feeling that our starting running backs are going to be Derrick Henry and Brees Hall because of the Jets stuff.

Speaker 1 So now we have on our bench a handcuff.

Speaker 1 Well, we can put one as wide receiver. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 But he is going in about the

Speaker 1 good value. Great value.
Great job. Fleeced.

Speaker 12 You know,

Speaker 12 I just want to say, I'm not going to doubt myself because that's some like Derek Blau stuff when you're kind of shaky and like, oh, gosh, oh, oh, gosh. I'm not doing that.

Speaker 12 Like, I stand by these decisions. Like,

Speaker 12 the some of these other, you know, Julius Randall and Jerry Ferreira and CJ McCullum, they were like picking all over the place. And I wanted to make sure that I had a handcuff just in case.

Speaker 12 You know, last season,

Speaker 12 because it was auto-picked and we had the first pick, it chose Christian McCaffrey. And I didn't have Chubba Hubbard on my team when he went down.

Speaker 12 And one of the other goofballs in this league already had him. And we were, we were fucked hard, fucked in right in the dick, in the butt.
I mean, it was

Speaker 12 it really screwed up our season. So I'm not letting that happen again.
You know, I also

Speaker 12 part of my job as your manager, as your GM

Speaker 12 is

Speaker 12 to protect you.

Speaker 12 I'm here to protect you.

Speaker 12 And if Javanta goes down, which is a possibility, because the air is thin up there,

Speaker 12 don't know what that has to do with um whether bones are brittle or not but like i i just want to protect thank you i appreciate uh okay seventh you took michael carter i'm seventh round

Speaker 12 seventh round

Speaker 12 i took um

Speaker 12 uh

Speaker 12 uh

Speaker 12 oh i i took um you'll be a little upset because he is questionable but i took jalen waddle he was still on the board

Speaker 1 i like him in that offense yeah and he's got the cool dance the touchdown dance. And by the way,

Speaker 12 and

Speaker 12 it's a bargain.

Speaker 12 He was there in the seventh round. I just had to take him.
The computers were yelling at me in Chechnya.

Speaker 12 Okay,

Speaker 12 then.

Speaker 12 Oh, this was interesting.

Speaker 12 This was interesting. I saw him up there.
And also, BC, I agree with you. I think he's going to have a good season.
I took Kirk Cousins next.

Speaker 1 I know we have Joe Burrow.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.
Jared, who are these guys going to throw to? Listen.

Speaker 1 Why is he saying that he trusted you on this? And I don't know when I say all these things.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Kirk Cousins,

Speaker 4 that motherfucker.

Speaker 12 You talk a lot about Kirk Cousins having a good season and talking about Kevin O'Connell. By the way, he's being coached by an O'Connell.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're right. You're right.
You're right. You're right.
That is, you have to do that. Your brother coaches the Vikings.
You have to do it.

Speaker 12 And someone could trade us for him. I just like, yeah, he's just too valuable.
And also, I saw that a lot of other people and back of me in the eighth round hadn't drafted a quarterback yet. And

Speaker 12 I wanted him there. Someone's going to offer us a trade.
All right. After that, Hollywood Brown, he was still in like the ninth round or tenth round.

Speaker 1 That's a deal, a steal.

Speaker 12 Then I think I took Dawson Knox because I had to get

Speaker 12 a tight end in there.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 you're about to hear I love Buffalo. And then

Speaker 12 I

Speaker 12 oh,

Speaker 12 Traylon Burks was still on the board, so I took him next. Sky Moore, I think, was my 11th or 12th rounder.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 12 And then I had the handcuff. You know, guys, I'm all about protecting you and handcuffing.

Speaker 12 So I got Hassan Haskins, who's that running back over at Tennessee, to handcuff with Derrick Henry in case he breaks his head again.

Speaker 1 See, this is, you did, you had a couple blips, but I feel like you corrected yourself here.

Speaker 12 And then at that point, my wife was

Speaker 12 yelling at me because the draft went on a little long. I mean, wow, Julius Randle really takes the entire two minutes that he gives, that he that he gets.

Speaker 12 And I was yelling at me, and I had to go on auto-draft, so I

Speaker 12 didn't get a kicker. But good news on the waiver wire, we have a claim in for Mr.
Crisscross Applesauce himself, Rodrigo Blink,

Speaker 12 who

Speaker 12 I think is going to be the kicker for it this season.

Speaker 4 I like that a lot, Jerry. I like him as a kicker.
He wears cool glasses. And again, it goes back to my

Speaker 4 strategy of AFC South players.

Speaker 4 If you get somebody from the Colts or you get somebody from the Titans, or you get one of their two defenses that you can pick up maybe off the waiver wire whenever they play against the Texans or the Jaguars, I think that's good to have

Speaker 12 yeah you know um i did have um mr blankenship on a few of my teams last season and when he did decide to sit out that game and sort of just angrily pout on the sidelines i know he was injured um

Speaker 12 it um

Speaker 12 it made me feel hatred for him and like now when i see him in those glasses or

Speaker 12 uh or even any mention of him it made me angry at him but um i don't know i'm willing to give up

Speaker 12 a good good heart and uh a lot of the computers say he's going to be kicker forward.

Speaker 4 Okay, that sounds good.

Speaker 1 And what we have to remember here is

Speaker 5 it's a 12-person league.

Speaker 4 So it's, you know, a lot of depth in this league. So I don't hate that lineup.
I just, I don't hate Kirk Cousins as a player. I just, I have a deep-seated hatred for him.
So I don't actually hate him.

Speaker 4 It's just personal at this point.

Speaker 1 Well, because

Speaker 12 it's something to do with the camera.

Speaker 4 Yeah, with the commanders and everything that happened while he was the quarterback there. I also just think he's kind of a nerd, but that's fine.

Speaker 4 I think he'll probably have a decent year with your your brother.

Speaker 12 I think you're conflating people's beliefs with being nerdy, and there's nothing wrong with being speedy.

Speaker 4 I mean, have you seen how he cooks steak, though? He puts aluminum foil down on the grill.

Speaker 12 How you like that? The only thing that really annoyed me was when he was in the tunnel going, you like that? That was a little bit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I heard he brought it back, though. I heard he did that in practice at some point this year.
So I don't know. We might have swept.

Speaker 12 You're supposed to act like you've been there.

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Speaker 4 Now, here's more Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 12 Um, all right, can I go through um

Speaker 1 players?

Speaker 5 Yeah, let's let's get your do-not list, please.

Speaker 4 What's on your do-not list this year?

Speaker 12 Okay,

Speaker 12 um,

Speaker 12 the NFC West,

Speaker 12 uh,

Speaker 12 let's let's start with the NFC West because I live here in Los Angeles. Um,

Speaker 1 no Rams, no Rams at all, not one, not why is that.

Speaker 12 Um, I'm gonna tell you why. I live in Los Angeles, I've lived here for,

Speaker 12 man, I've lived here for over two decades. And

Speaker 12 I

Speaker 12 have never met a Rams fan ever

Speaker 12 until

Speaker 12 about

Speaker 12 seven months ago.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 12 And,

Speaker 12 for example, my agent who knows nothing. I've never talked to my agent about football ever, ever.

Speaker 12 And you guys know, I come on your show. I talk football.

Speaker 1 I'm a football guy.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 he

Speaker 12 just wants to talk about the Rams with me now. But he wants to talk about it in an annoying way.
Like, I'll call him on the phone and he'll be like, hey, Jeff.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 let me like, got that wrong. It's Jerry.
And he'll say,

Speaker 12 hey, you guys,

Speaker 12 I know you love football. How about

Speaker 12 how about our Rams?

Speaker 12 I believe, I believe blue and yellow now. It's crazy.
Odell, right?

Speaker 1 Cooper. Cooper.

Speaker 12 They're hot. And it just, Los Angeles, they're just, it's a town of bandwagoners.
It just drives me crazy. It drives me crazy.
And I can't root for any of them. They're not, it's not real.

Speaker 12 It's not a real,

Speaker 12 it's not a real dedication. It's not a lifelong.

Speaker 4 It's fraudulent points. Whenever Cooper Cup scores a touchdown, it's the tree falling in the forest.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't mean anything. No.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 12 And they get amazing seats, and like they don't pay for them, and they don't give them, they give them to every other client except for me. So

Speaker 1 I'm gonna go. And I want to say that.
You're right. Like, you'd rather watch Brees Hall lose five yards on a carry than Cooper Cup,

Speaker 1 Cooper Cup score a 90-yard touchdown. That's real football.

Speaker 12 You're so shady. Yesterday or Wednesday was so shady when you were talking to Coach Arians and you were like, oh, yeah,

Speaker 12 not Drew Locke. Andrew Luck, yeah,

Speaker 12 he had the tackle a lot after

Speaker 12 he got intercepted. He was so shady.
I love all the shady stuff, you do PC.

Speaker 12 But,

Speaker 12 you know, also, I will say this, Coach McVay,

Speaker 12 something that annoys me about him a little bit.

Speaker 12 I have a friend who

Speaker 12 he like gets his hair done. And every time he walks past a mirror, he makes like a face face and he like looks in a mirror and he just pushes up the front of his hair, like he just gets it perfect.

Speaker 12 And then he does like a look, like, yeah, you look hot. Like, Coach McVay looks like he just spends like a good 20 minutes on his hair before every game, you know?

Speaker 12 And it's just like, that's not what I want from a coach. I want someone who's got a dip in his mouth and is crying, you know,

Speaker 4 and who doesn't want to. You want to root for the coach can't do that.
You want to root for the lions, not the rams.

Speaker 1 Right, right. And we've told this story before, Jerry, but we

Speaker 1 Sean McVay came up to PFT and I in Indianapolis at the Combine and was like, what do you got against my beard? Because we had made fun of his beard. And that's what you're saying.

Speaker 1 Like, we don't, we want to, we want coaches, we make fun of, like, Arthur Smith, we made fun of his chin, and he took it on, well, he doesn't have a chin, but he took it on wherever his chin should be, his neck.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I will say, um,

Speaker 12 and I should say it's a little scary because Coach McVay does live, you know, where I live in Calabasas in Los Angeles, where all the Kardashians are from.

Speaker 12 Coach McVay lives around there. I don't want to get in trouble, but I have seen him.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 he lives in the more wealthy section. I'm in more, like, I'm in ghetto.
I'm in the lower income area of Calabasas. I'm not in a gated community.

Speaker 12 But

Speaker 12 there is a small gate, but I put it up.

Speaker 12 I got it just from Home Depot. I put it up.

Speaker 12 It's a chicken wire. But

Speaker 12 I'm afraid if I do see him, I don't know it, like

Speaker 12 in and out or something, he's going to get in my face. But he does look a little boy bandy, just a touch, you know?

Speaker 4 It's interesting you bring that up because there's some people on this podcast that think he's the fourth, or excuse me, the third toughest coach in the NFL.

Speaker 4 I just thought that was interesting when somebody... We did a battle royale of coaches.

Speaker 1 He's a little jacked. He's a little.

Speaker 12 He's a little jacked, but I don't know.

Speaker 4 I agree. I hope it's not awkward if you run into him, though.

Speaker 12 Steve, in the NFC West, absolutely no Seahawks this season. None.

Speaker 12 None whatsoever. I'm just, it took me so long to get off of Nicorette.
I can't watch Pete Carroll. It just makes me want to go by Nicorette immediately.

Speaker 12 Penny, who's their starting running back, is going to be injured in two weeks. And then I can see Stash Walker, but no receivers.
I'm not betting on Drew Locke.

Speaker 12 Geno Smith is going to get punched and be out for the rest of the season anyway. Just stay away.
I'd just stay away.

Speaker 4 DK could get you some points if you're in a defensive league on tackles, though. He's got that chase-down speed.

Speaker 1 That was shady of you.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I actually feel really bad for,

Speaker 12 I feel really bad for Lockett and DK, actually.

Speaker 12 They're in a weird situation.

Speaker 12 You know, I want to talk to you about the Cardinals.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 obviously,

Speaker 12 I was addicted to Nicorette. I said that earlier, but also

Speaker 12 to cigarettes, which are super bad. No one should smoke.
But

Speaker 12 I also used to dip. It's a little triggering watching hard knocks.
Notice

Speaker 12 they don't do any shots of Dan spitting at all.

Speaker 12 But yesterday and

Speaker 12 actually in this week's episode, you saw he was carrying a cup with the napkin in there and just some some

Speaker 12 spittle in there. What do you think he'd choose?

Speaker 1 I bet he goes with the old school.

Speaker 4 Oh, I was going to say Copenhagen.

Speaker 1 I think he might go old school, Red Man. Just throw in

Speaker 1 the long stuff.

Speaker 4 You can see the tin through his pocket. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Actually, you know what?

Speaker 12 I'm going to change my answer. I bet he goes for cherry.

Speaker 1 Oh, no way.

Speaker 4 No, I disagree. There was an article that came out about Dan Campbell a couple of weeks ago, and he says, two things I like to taste in life, coffee and tobacco.

Speaker 4 So he doesn't, he doesn't put any milk or sugar in his coffee, and he doesn't do anything flavored with his tobacco.

Speaker 1 He's Copenhagen straight, probably.

Speaker 12 There's two things I love to taste in life: coffee and ass.

Speaker 1 It's like Jake.

Speaker 12 Okay,

Speaker 12 but

Speaker 12 I was, I did have a real Call of Duty problem.

Speaker 12 It is an addictive game. It just sucks you right in.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 I get

Speaker 12 where Kyler is coming from. I mean, you know, they give you medals, they dangle these medals in front of you.
You know, you get like a killstreak medal, a specialist medal. Just a few more hours.

Speaker 12 If you stay up, you get an anti-specialist medal. You get a rapid kill medal, a end-of-match medal, killstreak medal.

Speaker 12 They just dangle them, and you can't stop because you're so close to the next medal.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 I get it. I actually feel for him.
I actually think Kyler needs needs a little bit of help, like getting out of that video game addiction. It sucks you in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree. I agree.
So we're drafting Cardinals?

Speaker 12 PFT can't comment on this because PFT can't play Call of Duty.

Speaker 12 You don't have to.

Speaker 1 I quit.

Speaker 4 I quit playing Call of Duty, actually. I picked it up last year.

Speaker 12 Isn't it amazing?

Speaker 12 Isn't it amazing how much more you do with your life when you stop playing Call of Duty?

Speaker 4 Well, no, because I switched over to flight simulators and I do that more now. So I just switched branches of the military, got into the Air Force.

Speaker 12 Get to kill people.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I still kill, I still probably kill more people now. Sometimes orphans when my bombs miss, but yeah, I'm in, I fly an F-15.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 12 Oh, are you ready for this? I'm going to say something nice about the NFC West.

Speaker 12 Any 49ers.

Speaker 1 Okay. All of them.
All the 49ers.

Speaker 12 All of them. Love them.

Speaker 12 Their fandom is a little scary. I work with a gentleman who is a 49ers fan, and every Monday morning, he's a large man.

Speaker 12 I don't mean to physically judge people, but he's heavily tattooed. And he just

Speaker 12 every Monday morning, he gets in my face. And he's always like, yeah, you like those Niners, man.

Speaker 1 You like that?

Speaker 1 You like that?

Speaker 1 You see that? You see what the Niners did?

Speaker 1 You like that?

Speaker 1 Punch you in the mouth, football, punch you in the mouth, football. You like that? You have a soft mouth.
Act your mouth. I like that.
You like the Niners? The Niners, man.

Speaker 12 So they're a little scary. They're fans.
I'm going to go as far as to say is the Niners fans are maybe the scariest fans

Speaker 1 over the Raiders.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah. Raiders fans are pretty scary.

Speaker 12 Raiders fans are pretty scary. I ever tell you about the story when I went to the Raiders game with my wife and why I'm not allowed allowed to do football anymore?

Speaker 1 I don't know if you have.

Speaker 12 I'm a Chargers fan here in Los Angeles. I was a fan when they were in a different city, which we don't mention.
The organization doesn't like that.

Speaker 12 So the Los Angeles Chargers.

Speaker 12 But when they were in a different city, I had season tickets and I was just dating my wife. And I said, I have season tickets to

Speaker 12 the Chargers. Do you want to go? And my wife is from Northern California, and I said, they're playing Oakland.
We should go.

Speaker 12 And my wife was not familiar with football at all. And

Speaker 12 with Raiders fans and Chargers fans, an altercation broke out near us.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 my wife got hit with a beer,

Speaker 12 straight

Speaker 12 beer everywhere. And

Speaker 12 we left.

Speaker 12 you know, in the parking lot, my wife and I got into a fight because my wife was like, you didn't protect me. Like, I felt vulnerable there.
Why didn't you protect me?

Speaker 12 And I had to explain to to her that I'm afraid of Raiders fans. And we're lucky we just got out with a beer spill.
It could have been way worse. And my wife has not been to a football game since.

Speaker 12 Actually, I take that back. My wife went to a Los Angeles Chargers

Speaker 12 Raiders game again, but we had to go to a box. We had to sit in a fancy box.

Speaker 1 Nice. Okay, so who else is on the list?

Speaker 12 So

Speaker 12 any 49ers? Okay, let's get to the.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're doing every division. Okay.

Speaker 12 Only Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 1 No one else in the NFC East. Only Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 5 I don't mind that.

Speaker 12 Yeah. No one else.
I don't even have to talk about them. I'm sorry about the commanders.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry about the Cowboys. I'm sorry about

Speaker 12 just nothing. Just only

Speaker 12 Jalen Hurts.

Speaker 12 I think the NFC East is

Speaker 12 maybe the worst.

Speaker 12 NFC North is pretty bad too, but I mean,

Speaker 1 just Jalen Hurts. I don't know what else to say.

Speaker 12 I think he's going to have a good season. Um, drafted before Joe Burrow, can you believe that?

Speaker 1 That is

Speaker 1 a little shocking. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 12 Um, NFC North,

Speaker 12 oh man, let's talk about hard knocks for a second. Um,

Speaker 12 this is gonna get a little strange, but um,

Speaker 12 let's talk about the Hutchinson.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, yeah, let's have this conversation.

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 I mean, I'm you guys know I'm

Speaker 12 married. I'm

Speaker 1 happily.

Speaker 12 I'm married. We have issues.
I'm, at times, it's a happy marriage. At times,

Speaker 12 it's not a volatile marriage. There's not volatility, but at times there is

Speaker 12 just a disconnection. But I'm married.
So, like, this is like

Speaker 12 this is like an imaginary situation.

Speaker 12 But I would have relations with

Speaker 12 this the sisters are all over

Speaker 1 you'd have relations with all of the Hutchinsons.

Speaker 12 Oh, mom, by the way, I would fuck the

Speaker 1 dad. I would

Speaker 12 I'm not joking. I want to get on 23andMe.

Speaker 1 I want the cousins coming in. I want to fuck them all.
I want the pets watching. I want to fuck that entire family.
Agreed.

Speaker 1 They're amazing.

Speaker 12 They are amazing. They're so supportive.
They watch the games.

Speaker 12 They birth and raise NFL players and beauty queens and sign me up.

Speaker 12 My father gave me an addiction gene.

Speaker 12 And now debt.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 this family,

Speaker 12 and I want to be with them physically. I want to be inside of them, all of them.
And that includes Mr. Hutchinson.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're beautiful people.

Speaker 4 I think one of his sisters was Miss Michigan.

Speaker 12 So, as an IDP, you can take Hutch, but

Speaker 12 nobody.

Speaker 12 God, I just got all Zach Wilson talking about that.

Speaker 1 That's okay. His mom didn't know.

Speaker 1 That's fine.

Speaker 1 You're a man.

Speaker 12 But none of the Lions. Don't be fooled.
DJ Shark isn't doing anything this season.

Speaker 12 Oh, you know what? Only one NFC Northern player,

Speaker 12 Alan Lazard, I think, is up to him.

Speaker 1 NFC Northern. I like that.

Speaker 12 I think he's going to do a little something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 12 Oh, also, any Viking.

Speaker 1 I do like the Vikings. I like that.

Speaker 4 Except Dalvin Cook.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be good this year.

Speaker 12 No, I think if you... If you have like a seventh pick and he's up there, yeah, you have to take Dalvin Cook.
And by the way, if you have like a 10th pick, you got to take Swift.

Speaker 12 I mean, like, these aren't like hard rules. Just try and stay away from Dalton Cook.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 12 let's talk about the NFC South because I actually have to talk about this.

Speaker 1 I can actually talk about what's going on.

Speaker 4 But if you have the seventh pick and he's on the board, you got to take time because Jerry got

Speaker 4 value in Derrick Henry right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we did handcuff our quarterback in the sixth round with Kirk Cousins.

Speaker 4 Billy tried to handcuff DeAndre Swift last year, too.

Speaker 1 Yep, that's true.

Speaker 12 Guys,

Speaker 12 let's talk about the NFC South because this is actually something I could talk about.

Speaker 12 Tom Brady was in the news a lot, and he's, quote, going through some shit.

Speaker 12 And he looks G-A-U-N-T, gaunt, G-A-U-N-T.

Speaker 12 But

Speaker 12 he,

Speaker 12 I can sort of speak on what's going on with him. I am, and I'm, and bear with me here.
If you look it up, Hank, look it up, Billy, look it up. I am married this week to

Speaker 12 a former,

Speaker 12 my wife, I'm allowed to say this. This is not a humble brag because this is a fact.

Speaker 1 My wife is a supermodel. I think of Romaine.

Speaker 1 I think it's one of those things that if you're a supermodel, you're a supermodel for life, not former. Put some respect on your wife's name.
She's a supermodel. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 12 I know, but I'm not coming on here and lying about my situation. I'm telling you

Speaker 1 what is happening.

Speaker 4 Real quick, Jerry, have you ever asked her, like, when do you become a supermodel? When do you make that step from being a model and now, boom, supermodel?

Speaker 12 I think it comes from pay,

Speaker 12 a pay scale. Um,

Speaker 12 my wife was represented, I think you're represented by that sports agency, IMG. So you're not just represented by some like model agent with a cigar hanging out of your mouth.

Speaker 12 You're represented by a large sports agency that also integrates you with young men you know and brands it's like a whole thing so

Speaker 12 you're just on another level so my wife is in that

Speaker 1 that level obviously yeah i'm not comparing her to giselle giselle is i have to say one thing so pft and i obviously know who your wife is because she was very famous when we were growing up Billy just looked her up and he just gave me this smirk like, oh, fuck yes.

Speaker 4 So take that as a compliment.

Speaker 1 Billy, can i suggest some of her some of her work in the 1996 swimsuit issue he had no idea who she was and he is he is a new billy will be masturbating to your wife tonight just so you know

Speaker 12 actually i'm i was about to complain about it

Speaker 1 it's very hot i gotta tell you

Speaker 12 it's it's rare that this happens because i'm a man of a particular age but i

Speaker 4 i'm getting a tingle from that like there's it was funny in los Angeles when Billy met Jerry for the first time.

Speaker 4 He came across the bar and he was like, Hey, my wife over there and I, we'd like to buy you a drink. And then he's like, Oh, you're Billy Football.

Speaker 4 He didn't realize, but I guess you're just being really polite and saying hi to a nice young man.

Speaker 1 Is I mean, does Billy have to talk to Ben Minch about this, or is it just like they share everything?

Speaker 1 We share everything, Jerry. You know that.
All right.

Speaker 12 But I want to talk about being married to a model who my wife just doesn't get football. My wife actually dislikes football, she thinks it's uh

Speaker 12 brutal and doesn't think there's finesse, doesn't like, doesn't get this, doesn't get us, doesn't understand it, doesn't understand on Sundays why it has to take over. Why is it all day Sunday?

Speaker 12 Why is it on Thursdays now? Why is it on Mondays too? What is this?

Speaker 12 Why is it on Amazon? Why is it on TV? Why is it everywhere?

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 I think Tom Brady has to deal with a little bit of what I deal with all the time, which is living with someone who just doesn't get it. Doesn't get it.

Speaker 12 And you know what? I mean, you know, my whole thing is, yeah, I just want to watch a couple quarters a weekend. That poor guy has to do it.
six days a week.

Speaker 12 I mean, it's got to be, it's got to be tough.

Speaker 1 It's got to be tough. We feel for him.

Speaker 12 And by the way, after after you talking to Coach Arians yesterday, if he's on the road, I mean, he's probably going to be doing it in a studio. But it sounds like, you know,

Speaker 12 working games is just as hard of work as being.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it becomes your life at some point. Now, to compare you and your marriage to Tom Brady and his marriage.
So Tom came back looking...

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 He came back looking gaunt, as you said.

Speaker 1 G-A-U-U-N-T.

Speaker 4 And there's some speculation out there. Maybe Tom had some some work done.
I didn't say it, but a lot of people are saying it.

Speaker 4 To compete with, is it like a thing where you see how attractive your wife is? And you're like, I really have to keep it tight because I got to keep her happy.

Speaker 1 Look at her.

Speaker 12 There is a pressure about it. I,

Speaker 12 you know, now like this part of my eye, you can see it. If you really like getting close, if you're watching this on YouTube, please, please subscribe.
We got

Speaker 12 a lot of followers these days.

Speaker 12 I thought about maybe doing something, but I'm just so afraid of looking like

Speaker 12 Siegfried and Roy. You know, I'm just so afraid of like,

Speaker 12 I don't want anyone to ever make fun of me getting that. You know, I don't want to talk on maybe him getting something done, or I just think he's,

Speaker 12 I think he's, I think he has to deal with it a lot. All right, let's keep moving on.

Speaker 12 Okay, so NFC, just to sum up the NFC, any 49ers, Jalen Hurts,

Speaker 12 maybe some Vikings.

Speaker 1 That's it. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 12 Let's go to the AFC South. Now, hear me out.
This is going to be really random. And you know I love random teams.

Speaker 12 If you are in a bind, I believe Davis Mills,

Speaker 12 who went to Stanford, got a good head on his shoulders.

Speaker 12 Davis Mills and Brandon Cooks

Speaker 12 could have that Braylon

Speaker 12 Derrick Anderson year that no one was expecting.

Speaker 1 They could.

Speaker 12 They're super cheap. I love a bargain.

Speaker 12 I love a bargain. Okay.

Speaker 12 I have no clue who else is on the Texans. Please don't even ask me.
Those are the only two names that I know.

Speaker 12 And I'm really happy to say I came onto your podcast last time and I told you I like drafting Jags.

Speaker 12 And that's when you invited me into a league and you wanted me to give you money, but I said I'm not doing that because I want us to remain friends. Um,

Speaker 12 the Jags, uh, the Jags are back,

Speaker 12 okay, the Jags are back. Okay,

Speaker 12 I like the Jags again. I love, I love Etienne, I think he comes at a bargain.
I love uh Treva Lawrence and my sleeper this season, Evan Engram. Yeah, I think he's gonna have a good, uh, a good year.

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 Colts are total snooze fest, agreed snooze fest, except I told you for uh

Speaker 12 old crisscross applesauce, Rodrigo, um,

Speaker 12 AFC East, only the Bills, and you've got to go to that bar uptown, uh, all-stars. If you watch a Bills game, it's in New York, all-stars, it's a Bills bar.
I gotta tell you, um,

Speaker 12 I'm married, I told you, I'm married to Rebecca Romain, former supermodel, moderately happy.

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 I love,

Speaker 12 I think

Speaker 12 Bill's fans are the most attractive. Really? I don't know about the men.
I can say for the women, I just think there's just something about them.

Speaker 1 There are

Speaker 1 you ever seen, you ever seen a Zubaz bra?

Speaker 1 I went to this bar, all-stars.

Speaker 4 You ever seen like those, you know, those stripes that they wear on Bill's, like, their fans wear the Zubaz pattern. They're like zebra stripes with the different colors.
That's like their thing.

Speaker 4 I'm just thinking to myself out loud, like lingerie Zubaz would be boom, six to midnight.

Speaker 12 Um,

Speaker 12 yeah, I mean, I'm just a fan.

Speaker 1 Um, okay, uh,

Speaker 12 no pats, can't watch that offense. Uh, Matt Jones getting three points last season in that game was just they're dead to me.
Um, you know what? I will say this: Brady won. Belichick needed Brady.

Speaker 12 Belichick needed Brady. It's as simple as that.

Speaker 12 Um, AFC North, Bengals, all of them, love them. Uh, Ravens, I'm sorry, just no Ravens.
Last season, I had Dobbins, and then I had Gus Edwards, and everybody blew their knees out.

Speaker 12 And it's like, you know, I'm like week one. I'm like, come on, Latavius.
Come on, Latavius. You're hoping Latavius Murray gets a touch.
I can't deal with the Ravens. I'm sorry.

Speaker 12 Now you got to handcuff Dobbins to Mike Davis and to

Speaker 12 Kenyon Drake pass.

Speaker 12 No Steelers except for that tight end, that Friar Mouth. I can't say his name really.

Speaker 12 Fair mouth.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I mean, I root for Drubisky. I really do.
And

Speaker 12 I'm sorry, but no Browns. I know I talk about Browns, but you know, I do live in Los Angeles and I do

Speaker 12 like, I don't want to get canceled. You can't, I can't, like, be on a public fantasy league like you guys are in.
And draft.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 12 The one player I want to draft from the Browns because it would be like drafting like Kevin Smelson.

Speaker 12 You know, in the seventh round, Jerry takes hard ones to it.

Speaker 1 Can't do it.

Speaker 12 You know, you get in too much trouble. I want to.
Listen, he's there. I want to.
And, you know, everyone's sort of looking at each other virtually, like, who's going to do it?

Speaker 12 Because week 12, somebody could light it up. They've had a lot of rest and they are talented, but can't do it.
Not touching it. Not touching it.

Speaker 12 So, and finally, AFC West and West.

Speaker 12 All of them,

Speaker 12 except for running backs on KC, because

Speaker 12 they have cool names, Clyde Edwards, Hilaire, but they just have no stats.

Speaker 1 Those are my rules. So what we're going to do,

Speaker 1 because I want memes to, or someone on our team, is going to make a graphic so that we won't put it right away when the podcast comes out, but maybe sometime mid-Friday, we'll put out a graphic that just shows.

Speaker 1 all the teams you've crossed off so people can just have that cheat sheet uh ready to go is jerry o'connell's fantasy football uh rules now jerry i had one last question for you because i think i just saw you grab a piece of paper give it up for chicago sebastian maniscalco's new stand-up special it ain't right is coming to hulu on november 21st 30 years ago jeff bezos complete nerd bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming

Speaker 14 sebastian maniscalco it ain't right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Do you have something for our good, uh, our good boy William football?

Speaker 12 Yeah, I do. Um,

Speaker 12 uh, I just, you know,

Speaker 12 I'm an AWL. We established that.
And

Speaker 12 I just, I'd like to jot notes down about Billy throughout the year. And when I come on, I like to just,

Speaker 12 well, I just wrote them down.

Speaker 1 Yes, I would love to hear it. Okay,

Speaker 1 this is a poem for Billy.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy.

Speaker 12 This is a diddy for the man who seems to have it all made,

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy.

Speaker 12 Even though he didn't grow hair in his pubis until the 11th grade,

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, we yearn for your knowledge and how wide it does span.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, like Wednesday when you referred to the country of Russia as one giant clam jam.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, yes, some of your takes are, shall we say, strange. But Billy, Billy, Billy, at least unlike Hank, you seem to believe in the climate change.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, sometimes when you speak, we all turn to our radios and we shout. Billy, Billy, Billy, shh, we can't hear you.

Speaker 1 Your internet's going out.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, who are you exactly? We only have a few hints. Billy, Billy, Billy, we know you have a hedgehog and live with a man.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, as a man, you are near perfect. Nothing with you is broken.
Billy, Billy, Billy, but God, do we wish we had video of you getting dunked on and co-booking?

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, we all need your wisdom, so give him a raise for God's sake.

Speaker 12 But Billy, Billy, Billy, we all know you're just going to get a coupon to pardon my cheese stick.

Speaker 12 Billy, Billy, Billy, we love you, Billy.

Speaker 12 And we love you with this crew.

Speaker 12 And Billy, Billy, Billy,

Speaker 12 never ever

Speaker 12 lose that dog in you.

Speaker 1 I love it. That was a poem for Billy.

Speaker 1 I love you guys. Jerry, you.
I got to go go back.

Speaker 1 You are the best, Jerry.

Speaker 1 We look forward to this so much. We got to have you on mid-season for an update.

Speaker 1 Just come to New York. Yeah, waiver wire stuff.
Waiver wire. Are you coming? I will.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry I couldn't be.

Speaker 1 I wanted to say one last thing. Are you coming to New York at all this year?

Speaker 12 You know, when I come, you're going to be my first call. I'm on the show called Dictionary.
It starts airing September 12th. Right on the Fox channels.
Check it out. You can watch football and then

Speaker 12 watch your NFC games and then watch some pictures.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. I love you guys.
Thank you, Jerry.

Speaker 1 You got a couple. Oh, he's gone.
That was good. I think he had to run.
He just fucking hung up on us.

Speaker 4 I think his wife was like, what are you doing, Jerry?

Speaker 1 He did it. I was going to say, we need to have Jerry O'Connell come to the gambling cave for an entire Sunday.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Nothing would make me happier if he just did the whole thing and did a whole Monday episode.

Speaker 4 Well, that's the thing is, like, when we're in the gambling cave, we are paying attention to our bets and we're not paying attention at all to fantasy football.

Speaker 4 Jerry's going to be all over the map with who he cheers for in those games. It's going to be incredible.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up. We've got Firefest of the week.
Henry, would you like to kick us off?

Speaker 6 I do. This is kind of a real Fire Fest, so you're going to have to bear with me.
I'm going to try and

Speaker 6 explain it all in the best way I can. But it's very like

Speaker 6 it's definitely kind of goes back or reminds me of old Barcelona, like old 2013, 2014 days,

Speaker 6 the inciting incident. But we

Speaker 6 did the mini golf.

Speaker 6 We did a mini golf video. We saw there were some tweets from people that worked here.
They're like, oh, I'm the best mini golfer. I'm the best mini golfer.

Speaker 1 We're like, oh, we'll go, we'll have everyone play around.

Speaker 6 We'll invite everyone because, you know, it's pretty wide open. Who could be a mini golf person? It's good content.
We'll have everyone come. Everyone can show up.
Everyone can compete.

Speaker 6 And then we'll edit a video and we'll figure it out after. Like, that was kind of like what we used to do back in the day, where it's like, oh, we'll just go shoot this video.

Speaker 6 And then we'll figure out how to get it done. Yada, yada, yada.
But we had 40 people, like 20 cameras, a million different audio tracks. And it was a good event.
Like, everyone, you guys were there.

Speaker 6 It was fun. It's good content.
You guys both texted me after, actually, on the side, being like, oh, that was great. Good stuff.
Like, old school feel.

Speaker 1 Uh,

Speaker 6 and

Speaker 6 the miscalculation that I made on

Speaker 6 how much was gonna have to go into it after was maybe the biggest miscalculation that I've ever made in my entire life.

Speaker 6 Like, something that I thought was gonna be like a quick edit, it will be good content, we'll put it out. It was supposed to be the end of the summer, it's now coming out in two weeks.

Speaker 6 That's kind of why I wanted to bring it up because people have been asking me, like, when's it coming out? When's it coming out? When's it coming out?

Speaker 6 Let's just say, like, it's something like I thought was going to take maybe 10 hours

Speaker 6 for the last like three weeks I I myself we have other editors working on it too like I myself have been like going through this footage for probably 30 or 40 hours because it's like basically imagining putting

Speaker 6 filming having everyone play a golf round and then after the golf round putting it all together and like adding commentary instead of just live cutting it the way like any normal broadcast does and that just wasn't something we thought about before which again like is all my fault and I've just had like I've I've obviously been like a very happy, go-lucky person.

Speaker 6 Like, I'm never really that stressed. I would say out of this podcast, I'm like the least stressed person out.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 No, but like, I've had really, really, really, like, bad anxiety. Like, in, like, just, I haven't been, like, eating well.
I haven't been golfing, like, going out, like wanting to do anything.

Speaker 6 Like, this, this.

Speaker 1 Golfing.

Speaker 4 This. Well, no, just like doing anything.

Speaker 6 I get off work and I just like sit there and just have like, I'm just, I just have like really, really, really bad anxiety.

Speaker 6 And that's not something where it's like, you know, I get like hangover anxiety or you get nervous about something for a night, but I've never never had like lingering day-to-day

Speaker 6 anxiety that just like, you just don't want to do anything. You don't want to do anything.

Speaker 6 And like, now I feel like we've kind of gotten through the hard part and we, and we're, and we're like, there's light at the end of the tunnel. So I, and I, I've talked about it.

Speaker 6 I like, you know, I've seen my family and stuff because it's like, I was going through it for a little bit, but it's just, it, it was bad for a while.

Speaker 6 And it's all, it's one of those things where it's, when it's all your fault, you're like,

Speaker 6 how, how, how did you fuck this up this bad? And it's like, you're just an idiot. Like, there's no no one to blame but yourself.
Kind of makes it worse.

Speaker 6 But yeah, I just like, I do obviously, like, I was going to tell you guys off, off-air or whatever, but I was like, I'll just tell you guys on the air. But yeah,

Speaker 6 it's been a struggle of the last couple weeks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 40 people, 40 plus people mic'd up and then trying to put it together where we had a cut system, multiple, three rounds, like 20 cameras.

Speaker 1 That's one of those ones. I was actually thinking about it the other day because you had mentioned something about how hard it was.

Speaker 1 If you had like put me and PFT in a room and like you can't come out till it's edited, I think we'd be in the room forever.

Speaker 4 I think we'd die in the forest. There's so much stuff.

Speaker 1 Because we don't know how to edit, but also like if we had to learn how to edit and then try to do it, we would be in the room forever.

Speaker 4 The cumulative amount of tape that you had had, it had to be like weeks worth of footage.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, and again, it's one of those things where it's like, I guess it's the mini golf was the inciting incident, and then like that just like...

Speaker 6 It's like if you have, you know, stuff on your plate and then you add just a giant thing on your plate and then your plate breaks and you're just like a mess. Like Like it was,

Speaker 6 it kind of just like triggered me into just like being in a bad place where it's just like I just like I was overwhelmed and just like I was not

Speaker 6 you just have so much that you don't want to do anything. You just need to like focus on one thing.
But

Speaker 6 it took you know three hours of footage, but in reality, like your round is one hour. Your round is one hour.
So that's 40 hours.

Speaker 6 And you have to go through all that, figure out the best shots, organize them, whatever, whatever. It's not really about the mini golf.
It was more just like

Speaker 6 I just wanted to explain like what that I've just been having a bad, like, a fire fest of the last three weeks, and I am apolog not apologize, but it's just like I just, I haven't been myself, and I want to get back to being myself.

Speaker 1 So, that's so it's an excuse for Mount Rushwar?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 How's your team doing? How are how are the editors? May Max, Batgirl, maybe you can shed some light on this. What's the vibe? Is the vibe like

Speaker 4 are they mad at Hank?

Speaker 1 Uh, no.

Speaker 8 I mean, I was supposed to help with the mini golf, and then I got brought onto this show,

Speaker 8 and I have a million things to do with this show. So I was also like another man down because that was supposed to be my thing, and then I came over here.
But it is like a bear.

Speaker 8 Like, the first couple days, I think Hank was away, and I was looking at it, and it's like

Speaker 8 there's so much footage that you can't like grasp where to start.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the really.

Speaker 6 That's where it was like, it was like, all right, yeah, that was a great day. And that's the thing where the takeaway was like, this was a a great day.
This is going to be great video.

Speaker 6 And then you get in front of all the video and you're like, oh my God. Like the completion bar of like what needs to get done before this is completed is

Speaker 6 it was it was it literally was overwhelming and like spiraled my my mentals.

Speaker 1 It is it is good that you say

Speaker 1 because it's mini golf. Yeah, but it's good that you're saying it loud because obviously PFTA are we're on the other side of the camera.

Speaker 1 So we do something fun like that and then we're like, oh, that was sick. It's going to come out soon.

Speaker 1 And I think a lot lot of fans think that way, and they don't realize how much work goes in behind the scenes. It's exponential compared to what we have to do.

Speaker 6 And we could have, again, like, that's where it's like, it could have been thought out maybe beforehand, or it could have been like, yeah, if we had like, you know, prepped better, we would have realized the scope of this.

Speaker 1 But again, like, old school is just like, yeah, we'll, we'll have everyone play.

Speaker 6 It'll be great. And then we'll just edit it after.
And it's like, you get to the after, and you're just like, oh, nope.

Speaker 1 This. This is impossible.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's good. And it's good.
Like, the first episode is done now. There's six episodes.
They're going to start coming out a week from Tuesday. And

Speaker 6 we're finally in a place where it's like, I didn't even want to talk about it because people would be like, when it's coming out, when it's coming out, and at first, a couple weeks ago, I was like, never.

Speaker 6 It's never coming out.

Speaker 6 I'm just going to die. But now it's like the first one's coming out.

Speaker 6 We got a good plan for the rest of the ones. It's fine.

Speaker 10 Well, you are looking pretty slim from losing all the stress. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 I know. I've been looking when I'm in the middle of the next six hours.

Speaker 4 I was like, whoa, you're looking slim. You did look good at Stu's house the other day.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 6 I want to get back. Again, I want to get back to just being a normal person, like outside of work and working out, playing golf, going out and shit.

Speaker 6 But yeah, I don't know. I just was debating whether or not to talk about it because I didn't want to

Speaker 6 just be like, oh, mini golf is coming out. Like, if it's delayed, it's coming out.
People are going to be like, oh, like,

Speaker 6 what took so long? And it's like, whoa, this is what took so long.

Speaker 1 And also, like,

Speaker 1 yes, I spiraled.

Speaker 6 But I'm good.

Speaker 6 I'm on the road. On the road back.
All right.

Speaker 4 I haven't noticed anything different about you, Hank.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You're great, as always.

Speaker 1 You're happy. You've been exactly the same.

Speaker 4 You're so happy.

Speaker 4 Love you, Hank.

Speaker 1 Love you, too. I love you, Hank.

Speaker 1 Billy, do you love me? Whoa, you don't love me too? I love you, too. Okay.
Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Billy, do you love Hank?

Speaker 10 I just said love you, Hank.

Speaker 1 Love you, Hank. Love you, Hank.

Speaker 4 Everybody loves you, Hank.

Speaker 5 Everyone does love you.

Speaker 4 Everybody tweeted Hank and let him know that you love him.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 4 And don't ask him when the mini golf thing's coming out.

Speaker 1 It's coming out. I'll tell you.
Don't give me a picture of him at 45.

Speaker 7 It's going to be be a great series. He's done a great job.
Bunch of other editors, too.

Speaker 1 Love that.

Speaker 4 And Jake's doing the announcement. Jake's doing the play-by-play.

Speaker 6 It's good.

Speaker 6 We put in the work. We've gotten through it.
We've gone through the bullshit. It is going to be good.
It just was a lot of bullshit to go through.

Speaker 1 All right. Okay, PFT.

Speaker 4 My five rest of the week is I had my follow-up appointment yesterday for my elbow for the UCL thing to see if I needed surgery or anything like that, and I just skipped it. So

Speaker 1 that's badass.

Speaker 4 I kind of think that whatever whatever is going on with my elbow, that's probably going to be what's going on with my elbow for the rest of my life.

Speaker 4 And I didn't want to do this, I wanted to do it the right way where I was like, I'm going to follow doctor's orders, all that stuff. I'm going to wear the brace.

Speaker 4 I wore the brace for like two days, and then I was like, this brace is very uncomfortable. I'm not going to wear it.
I was supposed to get like a nighttime brace for it to wear while I slept.

Speaker 4 I didn't do that, and I just figured, okay, I'll just not use it for a couple weeks. We'll see how it improves, if it improves.

Speaker 4 And then I was playing frisbee golf with it. And

Speaker 4 disc golf, excuse me, dolph. I was dolphin with it.

Speaker 4 And I just kind of reached the point where I said fuck it as I as I knew I would probably eventually get to this you'll be fine but I was trying not to I was trying to do it the correct way but I you know sometimes you just you get stubborn about things and so my strategy now is I'm just going to resume normal life and then if it gets re-injured then I'll just readdress it at that point well I we always do this is gonna happen and this is because you're a gamer it's football season yeah you can't get surgery during football season and Billy didn't give me the fucking research chemicals that he said he was gonna get me get those chemicals they're on the way Are they really?

Speaker 4 Fixes. No, they're not.
No, they're not. That was a...
In my mind.

Speaker 1 They're on the way. He just ordered them in his mind.

Speaker 4 You haven't even ordered them in your mind yet.

Speaker 1 I ordered them.

Speaker 1 He just did.

Speaker 4 I need something.

Speaker 10 Do you actually want me to shoot you up with this stuff? Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yes.

Speaker 10 Okay, officially. On the record, and I'm not liable for anything that I've done.

Speaker 4 Yes, because I do not want my right elbow to be fucked up for the rest of my life. Right.

Speaker 5 So this will definitely fix everything.

Speaker 4 This is going to fix everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 4 all sorts of things I was supposed to be doing that I just haven't done. I have been resting it, though, for the most part.
I have been picking stuff up with it, but I would just prefer to not have

Speaker 4 a fucked-up elbow until I die.

Speaker 1 I'd agree, I'd agree. All right, my fire fest, um, it's a stupid one, but uh, like I said earlier in the show, my son's getting to a point where he's very funny and just saying shit all the time.
Um,

Speaker 1 he, when he like playfully hits his sister or me, uh, he just says bonk. I love that, so it's just wrecking my brain.
He'll just walk over and be like, I just bonked my sister.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 So this show is just completely corrupted, what should be a cute moment every single time he does it. Probably bonks like five times a day and just like, okay.
Well, yeah, I mean, I look to his uncle.

Speaker 4 I love the idea.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 4 I love the idea that you're like a very, very much a living reminder of you having been horny at one time.

Speaker 4 He's walking around bonking you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's just like, oh, I bonked mommy. It's like, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 This should be like a precious moment that's just been completely corrupted by the internet in this show. Billy.

Speaker 10 So we were in the woods on Tuesday

Speaker 10 doing

Speaker 10 another frolf. We were frolfing.
Dolph discalls. We were dolfing.

Speaker 10 So I was in the woods a fair amount, the deep grass. And

Speaker 10 this last night, I was, you know, itchy on my ankles. Like, what the hell is this? Is this Scabies again?

Speaker 1 And I was like... Again?

Speaker 4 Yeah, remember the Ivermectin thing?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, Scabies sucks. And then I realized that it wasn't Scabies.
There was too many bites. And I have Chigers.

Speaker 1 Ooh. Yeah.
Hashtag Jake was right. When the video comes out, Jake was being Jake and was like...

Speaker 7 That was actually my Firefest 2. Really?

Speaker 1 The media bites were crazy. Really? Yeah, because Jake was complaining about the mosquito.
We literally got out of the car and he's like, I feel like I just got bit. And we all just clowned on him.

Speaker 1 And then we got three holes in and we're like, Jake was right. Billies are a lot of bugs.

Speaker 4 Why'd you pronounce it it like that just curious um

Speaker 10 so i've only read it before um so it's a really bad what are they they're they're these bugs what are they called they tigers they burrow into your skin and eat them

Speaker 1 c-h-i-g-g-e-r-s uh they suck they're really itchy because the itchiness doesn't kick in at first it kicks in way later so the only way to the only way to uh curate tigers Yep.

Speaker 1 That's such a perfect glimpse inside Billy's brain of

Speaker 1 the only... You can't cancel me for these bugs.

Speaker 10 So there's no cure once they bite you.

Speaker 4 You make it worse by not pronouncing cure.

Speaker 1 It makes it infinitely worse.

Speaker 1 There's just

Speaker 9 leaving no room for error.

Speaker 4 Don't ever tweet that word out.

Speaker 10 Yeah, so I was,

Speaker 10 the only way to deal with it is like washing, but they said that if you really want to get rid of them, you just have to put alcohol, put rubbing alcohol on the bikes.

Speaker 10 So then I put all this rubbing alcohol on the bites to kill the bugs that are like burrowed into my skin, and it stung like the worst thing ever.

Speaker 1 Like I was literally just dumping alcohol and open wounds and it stung. Did you get drunk? No.
That sucks.

Speaker 4 I wish.

Speaker 1 Shout out Billy too. Because he said on Tuesday when we were going to Stu Feiner's house, I'll drive because I won't get fucked up on a Tuesday.
Well, last time. None of us were drinking.

Speaker 1 None of us could be

Speaker 4 at Stu's house.

Speaker 10 Last time we were at Stu's house, we were like chugging tons of beer.

Speaker 6 He actually said, Don't worry, I won't drink there. And I was like, I didn't, I wouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1 I assumed when you're driving that you're not going to do that. Well, last time you were there.

Speaker 10 Last time we were there, there was just tons of booze.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Right, but if you were driving there.

Speaker 4 But nobody had planned on drinking on this occasion because we had to work.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't.

Speaker 4 Quite literally from 9 to 9.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I didn't know what the vibe was at Stu's. Did you guys know what the vibe was at Stuart?

Speaker 1 I knew I wasn't going to get drunk on a Tuesday.

Speaker 4 Regardless of vibe, you can always be like, hey, I'm working now.

Speaker 6 Last time was a Thursday, I think, when we were going to an Islanders game.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a Wednesday because we didn't have a show. We were going.
Yeah, we were going to the

Speaker 1 Islanders game. We were going there to have a full day.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Hank has changed the lottery ball machines because he's trying to win. If you win this one, Hank, well, his Fire Fest was the bug.
It's the bug. I got like 20 mosquito bites in in two hours.

Speaker 1 If you win this, Hank, so people are watching on YouTube, I walked in the other day, and all the balls are blue now.

Speaker 1 Blue ball Hank is what we usually call him. But if you win this, there will be a lot of controversy.
Yeah. I don't think so.
No, you have to. It's 100 balls.
Oh, you don't think so? You don't think

Speaker 4 you changed all the balls, and you think that if you win the first time, nobody's going to say anything to you.

Speaker 7 What do we want to do with the record book here?

Speaker 1 No, it stays. It's stays.

Speaker 1 Yes, everything stays.

Speaker 1 No controversy.

Speaker 4 The numbers are still the same. The balls are different.
Yes. And Hank, you better hope that one of us wins before you win.

Speaker 5 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 13 So it is presented by Experian is your big financial friend, helping you find ways to save, manage your credit, and apply for cards labeled No Ding Decline.

Speaker 1 No approval?

Speaker 10 No ding.

Speaker 13 Download the Experian app today. Disclaimer: Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved.

Speaker 13 Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry, which will impact your credit scores.

Speaker 1 Is everyone ready?

Speaker 6 17.

Speaker 1 You said that so quickly. Huh?

Speaker 7 No, it's the first ball that he sees in his eyesight.

Speaker 6 It's actually my lucky number.

Speaker 4 I might go 17 too.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go 44. You can't do it.
Can you share? No. No, you can't share.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 36. 75.
26.

Speaker 1 Max? 36.

Speaker 1 It's a big moment.

Speaker 7 A new era.

Speaker 13 The blue ball era.

Speaker 1 Your juice.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's only one, so you can't see it.

Speaker 1 360. Two.

Speaker 1 Number two.

Speaker 4 The deuce.

Speaker 1 Derek.

Speaker 1 Fifth time. You're lucky, Hank.
You dodged a bullet.

Speaker 6 I'm going to get it. I'm going to get the sponsor ball.

Speaker 1 No, you won't.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 Animal fact.

Speaker 1 These things bit my legs.

Speaker 4 What are they called again? The sea words. What?

Speaker 1 What were those things called?

Speaker 4 Uh, toads or poisonous dogs.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 I'm the one to say I'll take it anyway.

Speaker 4 Today is another day, but I am

Speaker 4 I won't sit in spite

Speaker 4 so let away

Speaker 4 Slowly learning life is okay

Speaker 4 only