Bruce Arians In Studio, NFL Cut Day And Mt Rushmore Of Living Legends

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Coach Bruce Arians, Super Bowl winning Coach Bruce Arians. Recurring guest Bruce Arians.
Recurring guest Bruce Arians in studio. We also are taping the rest of the show at Stu Feer's house so we're going to tape uh nfl uh

betting preview with stew finer that will air next week but because we're in stew finer's house

we're in his basement we're going to do the mount rushmore of living legends so get excited for that

uh cut day a lot going on in the nfl We have hot seat, cool thrown. Great show coming up.

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Today is Wednesday, August 31st, and we are taping this live from Stu Feiner's basement. We actually look like the meme.
If you're watching on YouTube, the little kids trying to discuss something like they were on the very small table, all five of us. Yeah.
Hey, guys, how do you think Mikhail Gorbachev's death affects global politics? This is a perfect setting. The Supreme's still cool.
Yeah. There we go.
So it is cut day. We are taping this before hard knocks..
We've pulled the plug on Hard Knocks, but we can just guess what happened. Well, Hard Knocks is on life support, but it's been in a coma for the last week and a half.
So I'm going home. I'm getting some rest.
I'm already going to tell you what's going to be in Hard Knocks tonight. And I'm going to watch it.
I'm not saying it's dead. I'm just saying that we're not going to stay up till midnight to talk about Dan Campbell crying to Tim Kennedy and Tom Kennedy when they get cut.
No, that's what's going to happen. Dan Campbell's going to turn on the waterworks.
He's going to be very sad, like actually sad. He's going to kind of hate himself for cutting players that he really likes.
Then Tom Kennedy is going to be cut, and then he's going to be signed by the New England Patriots. So not only does he fit the bill for New England Patriot, just in terms of, I don't know, like what they really like out of a wide receiver.
Expound on that. They just really like, yeah, it fits the bill.
It's like mold. Like Bill Belichick, he opens his eyes.
He looks at Tom Kennedy. He's like, that's my next Wes Walker.
That's my next Nikhil Harry. That's the kind of guy that Bill Belichick is.
Also, I looked up Tom Kennedy. He played lacrosse.
He was drafted in professional lacrosse. So the end, he was signed as an undrafted free agent by Matt Patricia when Matt Patricia was the coach of the Lions.
You know where Matt Patricia is now? He's, I don't know, being a fake offensive coordinator for the New England Patriots. And Tom Kennedy's brother is here right now.
And I was like, hey, what's going to happen to your brother? And he's just like, I don't know. Yeah.
So that's breaking news. Well, I think he said.
That's breaking news. I talked to Tom Kennedy's brother.
He's like, I think he's probably, I don't know. So, Big Cap, before you got here, I didn't know that that was Tim Kennedy's brother.
Yeah. And so we just talked about Tim Kennedy because that's what we do in Stu's backyard.
And Tim Kennedy's brother weighed in. He goes, I'm probably Patriot.
So there you go. So breaking news sources close to the source indicate to me that he will be a New England Patriot.
There was some bears talk too. I think they're just trying to figure out where he's.
I think Stu Feiner is actually going to decide where Tim Kennedy ends up because he's just going to be like, we talked in the backyard. We had the council of Dudes, which is pretty much the nickname for Stu's house.
It's the Council of Dudes. And, yeah, you're going to the Bears, Patriots, or maybe the Lions.
Maybe get re-signed to the practice squad. Who knows? Yeah.
But the bottom line is he'll find a good home. And we also have – I can also tell you that I know that Dan Campbell is going to be very upset with the Lions' effort against the Steelers on Sunday.
I think they scored three points and lost.

So losing, not so great for him.

He's going to be upset about that.

Let's guess.

Let's guess.

What's the men count tonight?

Men or man count coming out of Dan Campbell's mouth.

I think I'm going to go.

I'm going to set the over under at 28.

28 men.

That was right where I was guessing. You never get it right.
That's a good point. Yeah.
Shit. Over.
Over 27 and a half is what I'm actually setting up. I'm going to say over as well.
Okay. So that was your Hard Knocks preview.
Boom. Or recap.
All right. So cut day.
Josh Rosen got cut. That's all I care about.
Yeah. Josh Johnson got cut.
He's played on 14 teams now. He'll probably play for at least two more this year.
I love the fact that he's the guy that you call when you don't have another guy. When you need a guy in your locker room, it's like, okay, Josh Johnson, he's a good person to have for a week.
But I also kind of feel bad for him at this point. It's like he can't ever buy a home.
He probably stopped buying homes after the 15th. Oh, the offseason.
He was cut by yeah i mean that one but like he never he never settles into the city he's break glass in case of emergency quarterback and he seems like a good guy otherwise he wouldn't have all these jobs and i just want him to find a forever home i think he's a very good boy and he needs to have a forever home that loves him and cares for him forever i do think that he's probably gotten at this point isn't it like you just you put you get them to just kind of give them the last good year of their life well yeah just make them happy feel good i don't think like once you hit 14 years like that's kind of you know in football years yeah football years they do age faster so yeah just give them all the boobs all the belly scratches and just make sure that he's happy i do think though he's probably like corner to market now because you the GMs are like, who's a guy that we can bring in the QB room that can live out of a hotel? Oh, Josh Johnson. He's done it many times.
You know that he's not going to be calling you up being like, I don't know if I want to move again. No, he wants to move again.
He keeps moving. Imagine his Marriott points by now.
Dude must own a Marriott hotel. He's just getting fat off that buffet constantly the continental breakfast yes in danishes and if you show up late cups of yogurt and if you show up late there's no bacon and then you look around and there's just fucking fat people eating the bacon you're like you motherfuckers i'll give you guys something to look forward to when you turn 35 because we've been saying a lot of bad stuff recently about how old we are and how washed up we feel the great part about turning 35 is you start to finally enjoy the continental breakfast because you can get because you're finally up yeah before 10 30 in the morning yes because that's so demoralizing walking downstairs to take the elevator and you smell you can still smell the fucking waffles and the bacon and then all you have left is like that small box of total yeah or like i the worst is when they do those big shoots of cereal and it's frosted flakes and it's stale yeah it's like frosted flakes i feel like frosted flakes is an okay cereal but it's just never is anyone's like anyone get excited about it it's nothing special it's pretty much tony the tiger does it it's really good yeah so that answered that that was perfect yeah you're right okay so only jake yeah yeah although so maybe we're good they.
Yeah. I don't think they're more than good.
I think that's what Tony the Tiger says. They're just good.
They're good. They're perfectly average unless they're stale at the continental breakfast.
Yeah. You know what else is bad coming out of those cereal tubes is raisin bran because the raisins always go to the very bottom.
So the people that get there early get all the raisins. And now you have Frosted Flakes without yeah you just get and you get the brand yeah corn flakes my dad would love it um all right so i'm trying to think what else uh we are washed we did go we did go tune in get excited tonight tonight episode one episode one of the part of my take disc golf grand slam we went and played four rounds of disc golf four rounds one round equaling nine holes uh that's just how we play where that's just how we we grew up playing the game i mean the first the first one was in treacherous treacherous treacherous yeah so we did a couple in colorado and then we finished it today so uh we were out just banging chains with the bros all day.
And we played 18, so it was awesome. My line was blown when a full disc golf course is 21 holes.
Yeah. I think they just had to do that just to be like, we're better than golf.
Let's add three more holes. Yeah, we walked it, too.
We walked the course. No carts.
Heroes. My arm is about to fall off right now.
So that's coming up tonight. Tune in tonight.
I think the first subscribe on the part of my take YouTube. So it's going to be the first.
Three o'clock? Three o'clock. Oh, afternoon.
Prime time. Prime time.
Oh, it's going to be like Champions League. That's perfect.
We're basically the new Champions League of disc golf. So the first episode is going to be teams of two.
The second episode is split in half. So teams of three.
And then the final two episodes is every man for themselves to find out who is the, pardon my take, disc golf Grand Slam champion presented by New Amsterdam Vodka. So this doesn't have anything to do with the sports world, but I know I got branded as the poop guy last episode.
I seriously have to really really bad right now right i had coffee i had like three things of pepsi stew fed us a giant spread but you really don't have to poop right now because you're gonna have to poop when we all want to leave i really that's when you have to go bad yeah like very badly yeah well you're gonna have to wait you have to hold it in this is what this is this is why we win podcasting awards we hold it no we actually don't win any podcasting awards. That's true.
Well, that's because we don't show up. And if we did show up, I wouldn't be on stage to accept it because I'd be shitting my brains out in the bathroom.
No, we've won awards in our hearts. Oh, and we've won takeies.
Yeah. We gave each other takeies at some point.
Yeah, that's right. That's true.
Hank still actually hasn't won a takeie. No, of course not.
He doesn't win anything. win anything um oh he was in a good mood today we got to keep the good mood going you know he's really mad when he breaks out the silent bubble boo boo boo boo's yeah when he does just does the mouth to the bubble uh all right other things uh belichick and berman was incredible yeah that was belichick and berman i mean it was basically made for this podcast when when belichick saw saw Chris Berman walking into the press room and just started clapping and was like, Schwamm, look at you.
For all the Super Bowls that Belichick has won, I don't think I've ever seen him light up like that genuinely as I did when he just saw Boomer's face. It was incredible.
It was incredible. That was an awesome moment.
I'm thinking of other cuts. Oh, the Raiders cut Alex Leatherwood, who was their first round pick two years ago so yeah essentially like putting a bookend to the gruden mayock raiders is being just objectively terrible and it's very funny because it's always like the khalil mac trade when everyone grades it it's like well the raiders have just drafted no one like i think jacobs is their only one you won that trade no we didn't win that trade because then we traded clue mac we all lost but it is always funny whenever you give a poor run organization picks and you're like oh look at all the picks i think they had six first round picks in the last three years and and three of them are gone and then i think cleo and feral is not very good and uh who's the who's the? Oh, Salmon.
Wasn't that Farrell? No, that was their safety. Abrams.
He hasn't been very great. Josh Jacobs has been good.
And then they've cut two of them and then obviously Rucks. I've always said that even when you're doing a trade with a team like the Raiders, if you're taking their picks, they still have some of the stink of the Raiders on them.
If they just give you picks, it's like, do I really want a Raiders first round pick? And then if you're sending the Raiders picks, they get devalued because giving them more picks is like giving JPP more fireworks. It's just always funny to watch an organization be like, oh, there's the bucket.
Those guys are gone and that's it. Stamp it.
All their first round picks are basically failures. I also feel like John Gruden drafted Leatherwood because he saw his last name was Leatherwood.
Yeah. And Gruden was like, that is a football name.
Of course. Alex Leatherwood from Alabama.
Yeah. Have to take him.
I also, listen, I'm not shaming Alex Leatherwood because he is, under my first round theory, the Bears should go get him because he's still a great player. Once he gets to another franchise, then he's stock immediately.
You should trade him immediately, actually. Correct.
A team should sign him and be like, we got a former first rounder, and then flip him now that he has the Raiders stink off him. It's like flipping a house.
What's Hank laughing about? You're cheesing? I just got some tricks up my sleeve from Mount Rushmore. Oh, from Stu.
So Hank went all of one Mount Rushmore without a teammate. He's been saying all summer that he doesn't want to do Team Mount Rushmore.
He did Mondays, he finished last, and then he's like, I want Stu. Yeah, now he's trying to create a super team.
Now he's becoming everything that he once hated. Yes.
It's a super team. Yeah, so next Tuesday is going to be the finale of Mount Rushmore, we decided.
So this is the, what is the third to last?

Penultimate.

Penultimate.

Penultimate.

Try ultimate.

Try ultimate.

But wait, what's the pen penultimate?

Try ultimate.

I made that up.

Try ultimate?

I just said that.

Yeah.

No, Jake made it up.

Jake made it up.

Courtesy of Hank.

Jake made that up.

Yeah, good job.

He was the one who first, I first heard him say it.

Courtesy of Hank.

I'll give him credit.

I'm giving credit to Jake for giving credit to Hank for that one. Me too.
Good job, Jake. Yeah, double credit.
Very cool. Double credit.
Can I say some of the ones that are, you know, they're dead. No, no, no.
Don't say that. Any other cut stuff? Any other? Big cuts? I don't think there was anything else.
Strievler got cut? Yeah, memes, you got something? Oh, I did see, which is just like the pettiest thing ever but uh a bears beat writer was like uh new era in chicago ryan poles submitted his 52 man 53 man roster at 302 ryan pace didn't submit his 53 man roster till after six o'clock every year oh good job oh wow good job we've changed it's it's it's go time they're better at paperwork. They're better at sending a fax to the league office.
Hey, it's the little things. That fucked up the Denver Broncos.
It's the little things. Remember that with the Elvis Dumerville thing? Yes.
It's so funny because I feel like the only people that use fax machines are the NFL and then landlords. Oh, I was going to say also like over 70-year-old doctors.
Yeah. They can only use faxes.
Yeah. They don't use don't use emails they just fax yeah but anytime you're filling out a lease it's like fax this over fax that over it's like bitch i was born in 1985 docu sign exists that's a real thing now you can also just take a picture of a of a of a signed you know piece of paper and text sometimes i do that when they say even when they tell me specifically fax it i email the picture and I'm like, I dare you to ask me to fax this over again.
This is a fax. Yeah.
What are you going to say? Memes. Any other cuts? Oh, CD Deuce traded to the Eagles.
Yep. I think that's a good deal for the birds.
Yeah. I have a future on the birds.
I like the birds this year. I got a lot of money on the birds.
I'm Larry Bird. Yeah.
It's going to be Bird Gang. Shout out Mac.
Oh, what are you doing? are you doing three what's three what's the three he's putting up three he was making a gang sign he was making wings jesus christ max what are you doing broco's training threes are up um all right so should we get to hot seat cool throne i don't think we have anything else uh yeah football's fucking so so close to being back yeah no it's back smell it Next week Oh, huge I can't believe we haven't talked about this already Papa John's made a football-shaped pizza Of course he did Yeah He also tried to make a crustless pizza Who did that? Just a genius Someone tried to make a crustless pizza I don't know All I saw is Adam Schefter He did like a sponsored video And he was like, look at this It's football pizza I mean, that place Yeah, and then Is it for everyone for everyone no like the chocolate football no but then then florio tried to clap back at him because he got that rivalry going with schefter and florio was like i heard that they made a basketball shaped pizza but it was just shaped like a pizza yeah it was very funny great um by the way florio i know people have been like hey are you guys gonna prank florio this year i actually think that what we've done this year is even better because he texted me he was like he was in new york city for something he had a meeting and he texted me the morning of and was like i'm 50 like expecting this meeting to just be you guys behind like you know you just pop out of a window or a door and i was like that's exactly what we want because i don't i't feel like pranking him. He's in a living hell right now.

Yeah, maybe.

He's flinching.

He's constantly flinching.

We're just going to show up at his house in West Virginia and give him two.

He absolutely wants us to prank him.

He's waking every day being like, I hope this is the day they prank me so I don't have to think about it anymore.

It's not happening.

No, it's not.

You're not getting pranked this year.

That's how, yeah, that's the prank.

Yeah, but be careful.

Yeah, be very careful. Because you might.
You very much might might uh also speaking of fantasy football jerry o'connell friday i know everyone's been asking it is happening friday right so jerry is actually tonight he's doing he's doing our fantasy draft in cj mccollum's fantasy league and so he's he's doing that on his own not for content but then we'll bring him on and have him give us the results of the draft and we'll have him grade his own draft. And then also give us like tips for which teams he's just writing off this year.
So it'll be great. It's half the league.
Yeah, very excited for that. All right.
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Hank. My hot seat is my girl,

probably my biggest crush when I was a kid,

Hilary Duff.

Yeah.

She's a poop girl.

She got diarrhea.

Jersey Jerry.

It's a catastrophe.

She told her her young kid,

and then her young kid went to soccer practice

and said it to the coach,

who then obviously told everyone,

and now it's just a nationally publicated story.

Yeah, it was very weird

when I was just scrolling Twitter this morning

and page six was like,

Hillary Duff's daughter says that she has diarrhea.

Oh, I just saw Hillary Duff has diarrhea.

Oh, yeah, no, her daughter.

And then I had to click into it to figure that out.

Wait, that was the clickbait that got you?

You were like, Hillary Duff has diarrhea?

Smash that click?

Yeah.

I love Hillary Duff.

Yes, you really do.

She still got it.

Well, apparently not. She's evacuated all of it.
She's foe, inc love Hillary. Yes, you really do.
She's still got it. Well, apparently not.

She's evacuated all of it.

She's faux incontent.

Yeah, there's nothing left.

Those guts are gone.

Out her butt.

That's true.

I took her off my list this morning when I saw that.

Not me.

That's sexist.

Yeah.

When someone's your goat as a kid, it's tough to take them off list the word the sex hillary has diarrhea it it doesn't do it for me flags fly forever okay uh pamela anderson will never have diarrhea i think she constantly has diarrhea right she has she got hepatitis cb so hep c that's fine diarrhea off the list yeah got it. And then my cool throne is tennis.

Jake is watching.

You're watching right now? So I'm watching Sam Query.

You motherfucker.

Sam Query.

He's an AWL.

That doesn't.

That's.

He was Shaka.

That's crazy.

Sam Query is an AWL.

And he invited me to come watch.

I couldn't come today,

but I said if he won round one,

I would come Thursday.

He invited all of us.

He's not an AWL then.

Because he should have known not to invite us. I actually think he invite us Thursday he invited all of us that he's not in AWL then because he should have but he should have known not to invite us I actually think he hates us yeah that's what he wants us there he's actually retiring after this tournament and he's in trouble here wait what do you mean he's retiring like from the sport how old is he 34 so he invited us to his Twitter this guy's not joke I mean it's a choked.
This guy's not... Did he choke? I mean,

there's a tie break.

This guy supports you guys.

You're not supporting him.

Well,

I mean,

he's retiring.

What do you want me to do?

I would have loved to support him

if he just kept on fucking playing.

He's a loyal AWL.

I'll tell you what,

I will go to his match

if he makes the finals.

Yeah.

I'll be there

and I'll get a tattoo of him

across my chest.

Me too.

Yeah,

so I'll keep you posted,

but it's not looking good for him.

So you jinxed him.

What?

Yeah.

How's his name? Query. Query? I've also never seen Jake do multi-screen.
Q-U-E-R-R-E-Y. He watches TV all the time.
Sam Query. You're acting kind of Query right now? Wait, Billy, are you ratting out on Jake? If I was caught watching TV during a recording, other things would happen.
Caught watching TV.

Caught watching TV.

I'm not hiding it.

It's out on the table.

It's true.

It is very.

Okay, so we're rooting for you, Sam.

Yes.

Until you quit and retire.

And then you got no.

Well, I think he's playing a doubles draw, too.

Is he going to be continuing to?

Oh, so he could be in the doubles.

In this tournament, he's playing in both. The doubles is such a fake like championship he's probably not even retiring from doubles no i think he is singles but i'll play pickle if ashka is one game away from winning the match so i could probably beat him in tennis i'll never retire from tennis that's a fact uh but serena had a nice opening round yeah win to hank's point of his cool throne i saw that it's beautiful of course you guys said yeah uh okay pft your hot seat cool throne okay my hot seat is cade mcnamara and jj mccarthy yes the two quarterbacks for michigan because jim harbaugh has decided to go with cade mcnamara however he justified it using a biblical, and he said both quarterbacks will see time in both games and possibly longer.
And they said, how did you come to that decision? And he said, well, it was based on some kind of biblical model. Solomon, he was known to be a pretty wise person.
The guy who split the baby in half? Yeah, so if you know what Solomon's riddle was or the judgment of Solomon, Solomon was asked to decide a baby, whether it belonged to one woman or a different woman. He said, cut the baby in half.
And then the person who was saying, no, I would not want to see that baby cut in half, give it away. Then Solomon was like, well, guess what? Plot twist, record scratch.
You're the real owner. Congratulations.
Owner. Yeah, that's what we call parents.
You are the owner of this child. Wait, so isn't that anti, though? So Harbaugh's saying he's going to have two quarterbacks.
He's going to cut his quarterbacks in half. Right.
I don't know how that math, we've said a long time ago on this show, if you have two quarterbacks, you don't have one. But he's like, if you have, he's got a half a quarterback.
Well, it's biblical. He's cutting them in half.

I actually like this.

I saw the press conference and Jim Harbaugh is essentially being like,

I'm going to let God figure this out.

Like when you do, when you have a hard decision that you kind of,

you like both guys, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Let's just hope, you know, he's probably like,

maybe one of them gets injured.

I'm going to pray on it for a while and see what happens.

I like the idea of starting two quarterbacks just based on, know week to week just mixing it in there yeah and then they won't know who to prepare for like sark stone with no depth chart yeah but then harbaugh is is being like god told me to do this yes which i mean i would not argue with i think if god speaks to anybody he would probably speak to jim harbaugh oh absolutely sunny dykes at tcu is uh going with That's a lot. That's too many quarterbacks.
He's like, they're all going to play. That's too many quarterbacks.
Why not? Why the fuck not? That's a pretty good, like, I feel like none of them are very strong. If all three of them are going to play.
Yeah, probably not. Yeah.
If you have three, you don't have two. But I do like that Jim Harbaugh, like, this is very relatable.
Like, no one likes to make hard decisions. Let's just fucking see how it plays.
He's that meme. Why not both? Yeah, why not both? Let's just roll the dice and hopefully God tells us which one should start.
Yep. Worked out for Manti Tao.
Sure did. When he went to Notre Dame.
Because God told him to. My cool throne is Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton's back also. He's back and also cool throne.
Because he was at the tennis. Why are you shaking your head, Hank? This guy's about to lose.
Oh, fucking Sam Query. It's career point.
Career point. Oh, no.
Wow. We have to be the only podcast that is live for Sam Query's career point.
I hope. I kind of hope.
Where were you? Where were you when his career ended? I was still alive. We were in Stu Finer's basement.
So anyways, Bill Clinton was at the U.S. Open, too, and the best term for it, he was canoodling with Dr.
Ruth. They were getting very close, so Bill Clinton's definitely back.
Billy gave me this look like, who's Dr. Ruth? Dr.
Ruth is maybe the most famous sex doctor of all time. So he's getting some tips.
She's like probably 85, maybe 90 maybe older yeah so bill clinton also he's aged tremendously in the last couple years all that traveling and you know all that jet setting that he's been doing uh the sun on certain islands have been beating down on his face so bill clinton was getting real horny with dr ruth and uh i think he fucked her i'm gonna say he fucked her yeah i mean it's like the old saying, like, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. That's not true.
It's not. Bill Clinton is an old dog.
He's learning new tricks. Well, I don't know.
I think Bill Clinton's teaching Dr. Ruth.
Yeah. I think that's what's happening.
Like, if you're Dr. Ruth, you've seen everything and Bill Clinton sits down next to you and she's like, tell me about this cigars.
Yeah. There you go.
I just never used a cigar. All right.
My hot seat is America because I don't know if you guys saw this, but Putin has decided to bring back a system where he awards any woman who has 10 kids in Russia 1 million rubles. Okay, that sounds like a lot, but how much is that American dollars? $16,000.
So that's not that much. And you get it when your 10th child turns one.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say this policy will not be appealing to women. Yeah, but it's 10 kids.
10 kids. And you don't get it until the 10th turns one.
Is there like a premium on males? I don't know. Why would there be, Hank? I mean, I feel like that's what Putin's going for.
Yeah, he probably is. He wants men.
He's probably trying to play the lottery here. Yeah.
He's playing a big invasion in 18 years. Yeah, actually probably.
One million rubles sounds like so much money. He's losing men on the front lines.
He's like, fuck, we need more guys. We need more dudes.
He's the opposite of every college party. He's like, someone call up all the dudes and bring them over.

Yeah.

Is Russia suffering from a lack of dudes right now?

I think so.

I know that they were suffering from a lack of dudes at the end of World War II after

Stalingrad.

Yeah.

Because they lost all their-

They don't have any dudes.

Yeah.

They should come to Stufaner's backyard.

The ratio in Russia has historically been amazing.

It's like-

No, no.

Depending on how you look at it, but amazing for a party.

It's a clam jam.

Yeah. Nice.
That's sick.

Andrew Tate taught me that.

Okay. Nice.
You're a sensei.

And then my cool throne, I actually don't want to

step on Jake. I think he's going to go.

Are you going to go with your wild stat?

Oh, you don't have it? Well, I had

it, but not as my cool. Do you want to say the wild stat?

Yeah, Hank actually gave it to me, so he deserves credit

for this as well. Credit to Jake.

Yeah, cool thrown Jake

because we had an all-time wild stat last night.

This is wild.

This is wild.

Yeah, it actually is wild.

Okay, let's hear it.

Some things aren't wild.

This one's wild.

This one.

August 29th, 2001.

Serena Williams wins at US Open.

Albert Pujol sits a home run

and Vlad Guerrero Sr., Craig Biggio, and Dante Bichette all record a hit. And Bin Laden determined to attack within the United States.
Right around then. On the 29th.
No, that's when the memo came across probably. August 29th, 2022.
Serena Williams wins at US Open. Albert Pujols sits a home run, but here's the twist.
What? Vlad Guerr. The Sun.
Kevin Biggio. How do we know that's their sons? Have you seen their swings? Yeah, yeah.
And Bo Bichette. All recorded a hit.
Whoa. Wow, that's wild.
21 years to the day. Serena and Pujols are still doing their thing.
And the sons are all recording a hit on the same day. And shout out Albert Pujols, 42 years old.
July 4th, he was hitting 189. And since then, he leads the league in batting average and has like 11 homers.
That's totally normal. So wait, Big Cat, what you're saying is...
Old guys get hot. Yeah, they get really hot.
Right before they retire. Why did Sam Querrey do fucking drugs before he retired? Oh, his career is over.
There it is. He should have done some fucking win straw.
But what you're saying is right before the home run derby, he got good all of a sudden. Yeah, right before.
That's wild. Huh, huh.
I don't know. He just got historically hot.
He's leading the league in average at age 42, which is also not his real age. He's like 45.
Yeah. And yeah, that's just interesting.
Can you imagine if like a football player got really, really good after they turned 40 and then came back looking completely different, the things that we would say about him? I don't know. Would it be something that MLB wants to have Albert Poulos hit 700 home runs? Hmm.
Hmm. Wow.
Just questions that I'm asking to the world to the world. Okay.
Billy. My hot seat are the Browns.
Baker Mayfield, after the Panthers beat the Bills 21-0 in preseason, was recorded and saying, I'm going to fuck them up in regards to the Browns. Whoa.
Oh, okay. That's my hot seat.
Baker. Yeah.
I found out quickly that Billy's a big preseason guy. Like, what happens in preseason counts.
I think the words count for Billy. I mean, it's just fun.
Yeah. No, it is fun.
It is fun. But I'm just saying, like, yeah.
Remember that stat that they threw at? Meme said that the 0-16 Lions went 4-0 in preseason. Yeah.
I mean, it's like fun football. Yeah.
Like, nothing counts, but everything counts. Yeah.
I still. It's a fun time for Jets fans.
I can't quit Baker. I still believe in Baker.
I don't know what it is. I think he's still good.
I definitely don't believe in Sam Darnold. No.
Yeah. And then my other hot seat is Jackson State football, our friend and reoccurring guest.
Do we ever talk about this? Hot seat?

Well, they have... No, you know why?

No.

They have no water.

Yeah.

They have no water.

This is a sad situation.

All of Jackson, Mississippi, right?

Yeah, they have no water.

Bad water.

So no, like, water is very important in football.

Billy, I think that you should work with Chris Long

and the water boys.

I'd say water is important in life,

not just football.

Well, I'd say water is very important just in Mississippi, too. The people living there might need water.
Yeah. Dana's down there, but he's Dana Beers.
He can't. If you see Dana Beers with the water in Jackson, Mississippi, slap that shit out of his hands.
He's taking it from someone who needs it. I actually think there's nobody less likely to mix in a water than Dana Beers.
Right. He should go on a water strike.
Well, he has been for the last 26 years of his life. He's like 40.
Yeah. So, hot seat.
Then my other cool throne is Dak Prescott. All the other quarterbacks on the Cowboys got cut.
The opposite of Solomon's wisdom. It's his job.

Yeah.

There it is.

Although they're probably going to bring back Cooper Rush, right?

It's like a handshake deal.

We're going to cut you right now.

It's a numbers game.

They cut Will Green.

They cut him, yeah. Yeah.

So it's like Gucci Nucci.

That was fun for a day.

I could totally see Dak making that part of his contract.

Nobody else.

No other quarterbacks on the roster.

Kyler for sure, too.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, Jake.
My hot seat is a man watching tennis yes my hot seat is a man by the name of mark from milwaukee yeah so on the brewers jumbotron someone wrote one of those personalized messages mark your friendship means the world to me let's not wreck it yeah i actually whoa i'm on this you think it's fake yes yeah there's no chance okay but here's the thing it actually it was a rant it was a random dude in the stands who tweeted at me okay and i retweeted it and then it likes everyone you think that the brewers just did that as a joke yeah i think so okay i think maybe the person did it as a joke but i think like the brewers didn't do it as i don don't think it's a real situation i don't think that there's a guy named mark that's i just want to believe yeah i agree but there's probably there like it could also be something where it's like the kid putting up the scoreboards needs an extra message and just yeah but it's i it's one of those ones that like when the guy tweeted me last night i was like i'm just gonna believe it because i want to believe it this is the next iteration of the kiss cam where they zoom in on somebody and then the chick goes for the kiss or the guy goes for the kiss and then the girl takes out her phone they're just transferring it to a different part of the jumbo but this is the world is a funner place when we just believe what's on the jumbo well i don't want to just you know it's kind of sucks to be like ah it's not real it turns into a feel-good story yeah because the brewers were down five three when that message appeared in the eighth inning christian yelich says down two in the eighth inning the dugout looked up saw this and said let's win this one for mark yeah final score seven five beautiful okay so shut up mark so that changed it was such a funny message though like let's not wreck this just friend zone mark yeah so good luck to that guy uh my cool sorry titus is uh tay taylor swift she's dropping a new album in october and everyone's going crazy yeah i'm a swifty but yeah i'm not ashamed to admit it she's a bad bitch yeah so october 21st i look forward to horny way memes i look forward to all the girls making taylor swift's, their entire personality, while I do something normal with my life and make the wins and losses of my football team my personality. All of Arkansas was Taylor Swift for the ride to the 405.
The whole state of Arkansas was Taylor Swift. I mean, she does have jams.
She objectively has jams. Undeniable jams.
You put on the 10-minute version of All Too Well, I'm crying and coming at the same time.

And pooping,

because you're a poop fan.

I know.

That's a recent development.

You don't do those two.

That's a recent development.

You don't do those two

without the third.

I didn't poop until

very recently.

It's a BFT triple crown.

It's the Jim Valvano.

If you can come cry

and poop at the same time,

that's an awesome song.

All right, good job, Jake. Let's get to our interview great interview with bruce arians in studio when your home system or appliance breaks down american home shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age visit ahs.com slash listen for 20 off any plan see ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations and exclusions.
And now here he is. Super Bowl champion Bruce Arians.
OK, we now welcome on recurring guest and now Super Bowl champion Bruce Arians, head coach Bruce Arians, no longer head coach. He's now I don't you're going to have to tell us your exact job title, like just sensei behind the scenes.
Special counsel to analysts, to the general manager, something like that. You're like hand of the king in Game of Thrones.
But he joins us. We're very excited to have you on.
You're doing a campaign today about Novartis coaching cholesterol, which I kind of want to know about that because I feel like I should probably start at some point in my life looking after cholesterol. So what do we got to do to make sure we got good cholesterol? I'll tell you that my story was we play the Vikings.
We get beat. Bad call.
I'm pissed off the whole night. You never want to wake your wife up at three in the morning, right? I think we need to go to the hospital.
Chest pains, the whole thing. Ended up, I was lucky.
I just found out I had known heart disease, but it was really just bad cholesterol. Right.
You put bad cholesterol and stress together, that's a silent killer. Yes.
So I teamed up with Novartis with coachingcholesterol.com to try to get people like yourself. Hey, go get tested.
Get a scorecard. Yeah.
Once a year. Just get your blood test.
Keep an eye on it. It's easy.
Mine was diet, exercise, and medication. And now I'm looking at some new stuff that's really good.
That's great because, I mean, we definitely, obviously, our audience is a bunch of guys who are in their 20s, now 30s, some getting up there. It's like, hey, you've got to start actually looking after this.
Definitely. And if you're 35 to 40, get your PSA checked at the same time.
Okay. So I'm going to do that.
So last time we had you on, it's kind of crazy because we have, like, a whole new chapter of your entire career that we can discuss. We had Bruce Arians on in his house at his beautiful lake house uh 2018 summer 2018 you told us and clearly you were lying to us so I would like an apology that you were retired you were done flash forward six months later you're you're coaching the Tampa Bay Bucs flash forward a couple years past that you're winning the Super Bowl I mean that's crazy.
Yeah, I was not looking to get back into coaching.

You know, and, you know, Jake, my son, he said, hey, you know, this Tampa thing, kind

of interesting.

You know, Jason's running the show.

You guys are tight.

Got a good young team.

Yeah, give him a call.

Give him a call and say, Jason's like, hey, does he really want to get back in?

I was like, but the kicker was Todd Bowles is available, Byron Leffert is available. 18 coaches were available.
It just was like, that's supposed to happen. So, yeah, let's go do it.
And I look at my wife and say, I think we're going to get back in. She goes, I said, you already know 18 wives, and it's close to the grandkids.
So you're good. She's like, all right, let's do it.
Yeah, so I read your book, The Quarterback Whisperer whisper i actually think that was the last book that i read in like 20 what 2017 i'm a voracious reader everybody knows that about me but i read the book and there's like a common theme every time you leave one job your wife's like you're not really retired and you're like yes i am i'm really retired and then sure enough like a day after you have that conversation the phone rings again so i think we knew that you weren't going to stay retired right you're a football coach so like now that you're not actually you know you are as you said what special assistant to uh to the general manager is that is that analyst or something analyst okay but are you are you actually actually done coaching football no that's the beauty of my job i go to practice every day stand behind i've always stood behind the quarterbacks to practice and and throw my two cents in there and watch film with the coaches and uh more involved with personnel now with jason and spy tech and the guys in pro pro football um office and yeah i'm having a blast so you stand behind the quarterbacks is tom brady like god damn it i thought i got rid of this guy yeah i mean that's like yo dude what the hell are you looking at like the whole point i came got to leave. That was a big rumor.
Oh, it was a big one. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We have a great relationship, you know. And, I mean, yeah, Tom, he's asking more questions.
And I'll throw him in the golf cart, and he's old enough and I can drive him off the field. Yeah, yeah.
I think one of your best attributes that I've heard, at least from players that have played with you, is that you're really good at motherfucking somebody while still getting them to love you. So what's the key to that? Because I got the motherfucking part down pretty good.
The last thing Coach Bryant told me when I left Alabama to go to Temple was coach them hard and hug them later. And that's been my mantra.
So you're going to get your ass ripped, brother. If it ain't perfect, that's called coaching.
Don't take the shit personal. You're a hell of a guy.
Your football sucks. Yeah.
Yeah. And is it one of those situations where you know right away that a player can understand that? Or you'll see a guy and you're like, this guy's going to have a problem here because he takes things personally.
And it's going to be hard to figure out a way for us to communicate. Yeah, each guy is different.
Especially guys who grew up with no father figure and their moms kick their ass all the time. It's different when a man tells them that.
So it's like you got to make sure you find that guy in the locker room after practice. So look, you're good.
We'll get it right. Just don't be a moron.
So today we're taping this. This is actually right when cut day is happening pretty much around the league.
What was your speech or what would you tell guys? Because I feel like you would do it in a personal way. Did you ever cry? Would you cry with the guys? Yeah.
I mean, that's tough, man. Yeah.
Especially if you know it's their last one. Right.
They ain't getting another shot. Right.
The dream is over. And it's like, find something else to do.
Do you want to start coaching? Right. There's some guys, you know, there's got to be a hell of a coach.
And try to get them into coaching. Gotten a bunch of guys in that way.
How many guys would you cut in a day? Would you spread it out and be like, hey, let's... Personally, I would just be like, can we just do a couple on Saturday or something so I don't have to do them all today? Yeah, normally in the old days, you cut them all the same day.
And now it's like, let's hold on to some until the last second. So nobody else get them and uh so it's yeah it's hard i didn't meet with all of them individually that was too that's way too emotional right i was gonna say it was a veteran hey man not like we let a guy go early this year so he can maybe catch on with another team right you know what about when you cut antonio brown on the sidelines was that Was that emotional? Yeah, very emotional.
Very high-pitched.

Because that was an interesting cut.

Yeah. I mean, you've been around football a long time.

I bet you probably haven't seen a player take off his gloves and his shirt

and go running across the field kissing goodbye to the fans on their way out.

Yeah, that's a unique individual.

And he helped us win a Super Bowl.

Yeah.

So, yeah, AB, he's a great player.

Nobody works any harder than AB.

Did you, when that happens, when you're walking off the field after the game, are you like, yeah, maybe it wasn't that big of a deal? Or did you know, like, oh, this is going to be a shit show? You knew it right now. Because, like, I would delude myself and be like, ah, there's other games going on.
Probably someone's watching themselves now. It's the Jets.
It was going to be a story for a while. Yeah, and it was.
And I remember we were watching it, and I think we missed it when it happened initially, and then we saw it, and we're like, is this pregame? Like, is this pregame that he's waving to the fans? And we're like, no, this is actually happening right this second. And then you have to be ready after the game's over to answer jackasses like us who are going to ask you questions about it.
And you have to be like, okay, now how do I answer this in a legal way where I'm not going to get in trouble as a head coach? So did you have anybody that advised you like, hey, here's what you have to say to the press right afterwards? No, they knew I wouldn't do it anyway. Yeah.
Is that kind of the rules? The same way happens. It was good that it happened to you, like a grizzled guy who's been in the league for a long time, because if it was like a new head coach, it would probably be...
Oh, it'd be hard. Very, very hard.
Very, very young guy, yeah. We were watching you last year.
One thing that we liked about your look on the sideline, obviously the Kangol is iconic. We've always loved that.
The transition lenses, those are great, too. The strap that you had across your chest, we would always try to figure out what the hell was in that strap because it looked kind of like you had a bomb put on your chest.
This is what we're doing when we're watching football. You're the only coach that we saw wear that particular getup, so can you walk us through what that pack was? Yeah, it was a communication pack, but you usually wear it around your waist.
I had that thing so tight, it was killing this nerve going down my leg. By halftime, my leg was going numb, burning.
I said, we've got to come up with something new. As soon as I take it off, it'll go away.
So I was like, give me a shoulder strap. Plus, it was so much easier, man, because look right here.
Hell, I was so fat, I couldn't see it anyway. And now it's like, why doesn't everybody wear it over their shoulder? Yeah, it looks a lot cooler when the coach is pushing something on their chest to communicate.
You looked like you were, you know. Especially when the referees come over.
I'm going to hit those bombs. Yeah, right.
Here you go. Yeah.
You also had the look, everyone, you know, again, this is what we watch for on Sundays, but during the pandemic when coaches decided their different masks, you had one that was, it looked like it was just like the one you get, like you can get like 100 for 10 bucks at Lowe's. You were just wearing like an old school painter's mask um i like that and you also had one i think that where your face was just getting redder the whole time and you were like suffocating from the mask dude i must have got 30 different products to keep your glasses from fogging yeah like nothing works i mean you get hot they fog up i mean and it drove me absolutely crazy yeah we could tell we can The refs took most of the blunt.
Yeah. That was the worst part.
Yeah, we couldn't tell if you were getting redder over the course of the season because you're not a sunscreen guy or because you were just getting madder at the refs and yelling at them more. But you actually look really good right now.
Have you lost weight? I lost about 40. Yeah.
Wow. So is that going hand-in-hand with the cholesterol stuff definitely definitely diet exercise i tore my achilles well not 90 last year running in what you need 90 i got about 10 strand left so i'm not doing any i'm not doing any kind of surgery man i'm like as long as i can play golf i'm good oh so you didn't get any surgery no geez you walked it off you walked off a torn ach, and last year on the sideline, I had to wear this boot and high heels.

Yeah.

So I screwed up all the muscles everywhere else.

That's why I was so miserable on the sideline last year. That's a football guy to be like, oh, I got 10%.

I'm good.

Yeah.

10% is better than nothing.

Yeah.

So wait, you lost 40 pounds.

Help us out because we're trying to lose some weight.

I'm trying to lose like 25 pounds.

Yeah.

I mean, obviously diet and exercise.

I mean, carbs, sugar. That um the stuff that does pizza have carbs i mean meat pretzels and bread i mean that's you gotta go i tried the vegan thing but all you eat is carbs so i didn't lose i was a vegan for eight weeks lost three pounds you know what if if a vegan told me to go vegan and you lose weight and i did it for eight weeks weeks, and I lost three pounds, I would slap him in the face.
Oh, dude, I was so hot. Friendship over.
I was like, wait, I can't get on the scale. No, don't get on the scale for a while.
Wait, was that during the season? Yeah. Holy shit.
So that is like the refs, the poor refs. You have Bruce Arians with 10% Achilles, a mask, a holster that doesn't really fit, and he's vegan.
No, the vegan was Arizona. Okay, all right.
But no, for me, it was just a matter of, hey, get with the doc. Get a good plan.
And I needed a coach. I was like, go get a coach.
All right, I'll follow you. I'll listen to you, coach.
Yeah. So it worked.
So what about paint? Are we still drinking paint? Nah, you know, once in a while. Just a sip.
Getting your stomach pumped, it's not a not a thing anymore yeah just swish and spit like a fine wine yeah right especially the green paint yeah oh that's the good stuff yeah that stuff i when i look at green paint i actually think that tastes like pistachio pudding oh yeah exactly all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with reese's and hershey. Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lover's Protein Bar is made with Reese's Peanut Butter, and only one Hershey's Cookies and Cream Protein Bars is made with Hershey's Cookie Bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.
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So Tom Brady, obviously we all he's been probably the most covered athlete in the last two decades. Everyone knows he's a crazy, like, competitive – you know, he lives football.
But what is it that when you, like, got with him and coached him that you're like, this is why he's different than everyone else that I coached? Not totally different than Peyton. They're the same animal.
Yeah. I're they're need for information i mean i want to know every i want every rock unturned before this game starts what are we going to do in this scenario we're going to do in this scenario um tell me about the dbs like spy tech they would meet all the dbs have a book on d they had to have the information and they would just decipher let me just go out and tear you up right and but they hate losing they hate losing they hate playing bad you know so it's like tom's a little more demonstrative yeah on the sideline and uh but it's great to watch him great to work with him and uh just a hell of a dude i mean yeah were you even shocked at times when you're like how this guy's 43, 44 when he's winning a Super Bowl? Like, how is he doing? Because I think we've all had that thought, like, how is he still doing this? He's throwing better now.
It's crazy. What is that? Has he changed his motion or anything? No, no.
He's got great mechanics. And, you know, he's one of those full body throwers.
He's not using all just arm. But Tom, he's an amazing human being as far as taking care of himself that way.
But, no, he's throwing the ball better than I've ever seen him throw it. That's crazy.
Was there any kind of feeling out period or getting used to period when he first started playing for you? Because, you know, you have to be yourself when you coach him. And Tom probably hasn't had somebody like you coaching him and giving him and given that tough love that you were talking about earlier was there kind of a period where uh he was like why is this guy yelling at me all the time and you had to like figure it out or did you have to change some of the stuff that you did because you're like you know what it is Tom Brady you change yeah you don't you don't you don't coach him the same way you coach a rookie you know he's uh same you don't treat him the same way you know yeah so it's like yeah it was a little feeling out period but hey all we want to do is win this is what it's going to take to win let's get it done would he ever get frustrated with you or the the coaching staff if they weren't coaching everyone else like they might have coached him and because you know the patriots obviously everyone knows how belichick runs his system i think you're maybe a little bit more of a players coach was he ever like hey you got to get harder on the guys oh no you ever seen me at practice you can't get any harder right right right like I said coach him hard hug him later but uh no that part was never a problem and um it was such a weird year that year was a pandemic right going into stadiums that were empty and uh no energy I mean pulling into giant stadium play it's Sunday night football and there's mist and in a in the parking lot.
How do you get fired up to play? Right. Damn, they got our ass beat.
It's got to be nice for the offense, though. Oh, yeah.
With no fans. Yeah.
I mean, that part of it was – now me, I'm a trash talker, so I'd be hollering at the other team's players. Oh, shit, they can hear me.
Yeah, everyone can hear everything you're saying. So the other Tom Brady question I had was that game against the Rams that you guys almost came back.

Was there a moment where you're like, there's something about Tom Brady

that just makes these teams screw up around him?

Because there was moments that was just like, how is this happening again?

Watching the 28-3 or the Malcolm Butler, how is this happening again?

Obviously, you guys fell a little short, but it felt like it was happening again where it's like this team is just falling apart and Tom Brady's just doing enough to be there at the right moment. Well, as long as Tom's on your sideline and there's time on the clock, you can win.
Right. And I think everybody on defense believes that.
The entire organization believes it. So defense, let's go make something happen.
So we got a turnover, touchdown.

We got a turnover, touchdown.

We're back.

And tie it up in those last 42 seconds.

Yeah, but that has to feel, on the sideline, something different.

It's probably similar to the Peyton stuff,

but being on a team where it's like everyone believes in this one guy

and that everything can work out if this one guy is here.

Yeah, when he's at practice, it's a different level. How so? He's very demanding and everybody's going full speed, doing everything right.
I'm coaching a young receiver. Hey, pump your arms, come out of your break.
You're slowing down. The ball's going to be out in front of you.
Same thing. He does it again.
So Tom throws him the ball. Hey, man, you've got to pump your arms.
I'm throwing the ball out in ball out in front of you next time the kid's pumping this i say can you go tell this guy to do this because he gonna listen to you he ain't listen to me right he'll listen to you right and uh so that's the beauty of having but uh now when he's out there it's a whole never left yeah you think tom would be probably a pretty good head coach then if you want to know no really he'd be too way too demanding really it's like working for peyton i mean they're they're workaholics man they're workaholics so so which of your players uh that you've had recently would be a great nfl you you said that you know sometimes if there was a veteran they want to stick around getting coaching you tell them like i'll help you out what players playing right now do you think would make good coaches i think blaine gabbert would be a good coach he's's been through it. Knows it in and out.
Defensively, Levante David would be a hell of a coach. We've got a bunch of players on our staff.
Former players on our staff that I think will be head coaches. Byron should have been head coach last year.
Larry Foote will be a head coach someday. With Byron, it's interesting because I think if the Bucs play well this year, Byron should get a head coaching job, right? Although I feel like I've said that for the last couple years.
Exactly. But he should be one of the next guys in line to get a job.
So Byron gets a job. Todd Bowles comes back with the Bucs, and he calls you.
He says, Coach, I need you to call plays for me next year. What are you saying? Good luck, brother.
I'll help whoever you got. I'll special advisor seems like a pretty cool job, honestly.
It's the best. I mean, you work 29 years in the league to get this job.
Better than being a coach. You don't get any of the blame if things go wrong.
Never lose another game. Yeah, that's true.
I didn't think about it that way. It is great how you set up Todd Bowles.
If we're the different uh you know narrative that it wasn't because tom brady asked you to leave um we'll go with the different narrative that you set up todd bowles i i feel like you always have done that for your guys what is that is that more rewarding sometimes than even just you winning games because totally you it feels like you have set up all your guys to be in a position where they can get head coaching jobs or they get – like Todd Bowles is walking into a team that is, I don't know, probably the second or third best team preseason. That's incredible.
That doesn't happen. Yeah, the succession was huge for me.
Didn't happen in Arizona. And wanted to make sure it happened here.
And, yeah, I mean, it's like as a father and you see your kid go out and he hits that home run or he makes that play and you're so proud you know for me it's like watching my guys I mean like I said 18 now 29 coaches we have on this staff either I played with coached or four with and so yeah it's very important to me. We should just remake Succession.
Do you watch Succession on HBO? I'm going to have to start. Yeah, it would be so boring with you because you'd just be like first episode.
Like, all right, Kendall, you get the company. Like, good job.
And then Kendall does a fantastic job. Right, right.
Like, we set this all up for you. You know, Kendall, I love you.
Yeah, I love you so much. It actually would be nothing like the actual Succession.
But yeah, Todd Bowles, I've been a longtime believer in Todd Bowles.

When he was a coach of the Jets, I think I said on the show one time,

he's a top 10 head coach in the NFL.

It didn't work out for him in New York,

but can you just sell me and sell our listeners

on why Todd Bowles is going to be a good coach and was a good choice?

Well, first of all, if you ask anybody in the entire Bucs organization,

oh, yeah, he's a hell of a coach. I mean, what he did in the Super Bowl with that game plan.
But everybody trusts him, and he's a great human being. But he knows the game.
He can teach the game. A lot of guys, you can know all the football in the world.
If you can't teach it, what the hell are you doing? Right. But he's a great teacher.
The players have such respect for him and the entire organization. The coaching staff, it's all set.
you know and uh but he's a great teacher the players have such respect for him and the entire organization um the coaching staff it's all set you know everything was set and and he's a hell of a leader yeah he played he was one of my first captains at temple back in 85 and uh so yeah that's like i said he's like a second son yeah did you have any inkling back when he was playing for you at temple that this is a guy that i'm going to see again he loves telling the story because you know he graduated i say man you might want to get into coaching i don't think the nfl's for you he got pissed off he played 10 years with two super bowlers i'll show you yeah yeah that's a little i knew you motivated him yeah what um so when you're when you're thinking about your entire career it's been an incredible career what are the moments that you think like where you got a lucky bounce? Because I'm always curious. I think a lot of people get to a point in success and they kind of forget about the lucky bounces.
What was the lucky bounce for you, and maybe why was it like the Bears hiring Mark Trestman instead of you? That was a good one. Yeah.
I think this goes back to college. I wasn't going to come back from my fifth year.
I was trying to get a junior high coaching job. Got turned down and went back for a fifth year with a new coach.
Ended up being captain of the team, MVP, and he started me in coaching. Wow.
And Jimmy Sharp, one of the greatest coaches I've seen. Those are crazy moments because you just think about like, well, yeah, what if you had just gotten that junior high coach? You could have been like a gym teacher somewhere.
I'd teacher somewhere i've been gone right i'd have taken it and uh so yeah there's people like that in your life but for me every time we got fired we got a better job and uh you know we all got fired in new orleans uh go to alabama get fired the first year thank god coaching peyton manning the next year yeah things take off yeah getting fired at the right time is actually it's a very underrated skill in life it's a great great thing and sometimes you got to know when to not fight like fight getting fired too exactly and you just kind of roll with the punches let me roll out of here please and i think because you've had you've had a few breaks go your way you've had some people that believed in you you find your guys and you try to give other people these breaks uh the one that comes to my mind is tyran Matthew, who's a great player. And, you know, coming out of college, he was almost untouchable by a lot of teams.
They took him off their draft board because he had, you know, in retrospect, some character issues that weren't really indicative of who he was as a person. So what was it about meeting with him that you thought to yourself, like, I can trust this guy, I see some of myself in this guy, the case may be um and and we're gonna bring him on yeah i mean meeting him personally he never blamed anybody else only blamed himself and this i'm gonna fix it and he has that persona about him you know he's a lovable guy and uh but if he had to blame somebody else maybe thought twice about it about it.
But, Coach, this is what I did.

I did it.

This is how I'm fixing it.

So we're going to take a shot.

And my favorite draft choice of all time.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow. Did you know instantly when he got in the building, like, first practice,

this guy's different?

Yeah.

And everybody saw it.

Yeah.

We got a lot of veterans on that team, Patrick Peterson, Larry.

Hey, this guy's special.

It obviously works in the other way where you draft someone and then they come to practice, you're like, whoops. Does that happen? That was a mistake.
Yeah, that happens all the time. Yeah, I'm always curious with the draft process because it does feel like talking to guys in the league, they know almost within the first two practices, this guy's going to be a dude or this guy doesn't have it.
Is there a way to fix that in the draft room? No, especially quarterbacks. Quarterbacks is like the most unknown science because you can't measure the two muscles they play with.
They're brain and their heart. You can see he can throw, he can jump, he can run.
But has he got grit? Can he lead? You can't find that out until you get them. Sometimes it's great.
Sometimes it's too late. And would you say, like, the quarterback position, do they have to be the leader of the team? Or have you been in locker rooms where it's like, maybe they aren't the number one leader of the team? Yeah, especially young ones.
Yeah. You know, I think back Super Bowl 40, Ben came in.
You just play quarterback, man. We got this for you.
You know, you got Jerome. You got all the guys on defense.
Alan Faneca. You just play quarterback.
We got this. You ain't got it.
And he played great quarterback for us. Yeah.
Would you ever get exasperated with Ben because he would, you know, after a tough loss or a tough game where maybe he got hit a couple times and he wanted to put on the walking boot and walk around the locker room and be like, yeah, I'm super banged up out here. You know, like doesn't even stop by the training table on the way back, just goes right out to the press.
He's like, yeah, the doctor said I got pretty much like a sprained arm. The whole thing's sprained.
Would you ever like sit him down and be like, Ben, you're not hurt. It's okay.
No, no, because he always was. Was he really? Yeah.
He's one of the toughest dudes I've ever coached. And, no, if he talked about it, it was real.
I mean, he played – I saw a picture of the bruise on his hip last year in the beginning of the season. It was like, how the hell are you even playing? Right.
And I got to play. Yeah.
Do you talk to him at all anymore? Did he talk to you when he decided that he was going to retire? All the time. Because we think he could do one more year.
I thought so. I was trying to talk him out to it myself.

Print that.

But that would be the big deal.

Big men should do one more year.

But no, he's done.

He's happy.

We had dinner at the lake right before I went back to training camp.

Oh, yeah, because he's at the lake with you.

He was like, dude, I'm not missing it.

I said, that's great.

Yeah.

I still can't believe going to your house at that lake house,

I can't believe you went back to coaching because that lake house is incredible.

I remember walking in and being like, well, this is what retirement should look should look like yeah it's hard to get my wife to ever come to out yeah i would yeah you were like oh yeah i got a helicopter that's going to take me for cbs it's like i would just feel that didn't work out yeah that didn't work out yeah did you did you somebody felt me they they they fed me a good lie that time yeah wait so you didn't get the helicopter no no i'm driving at three o'clock in the morning every week. They had to de-recruit you.
It was like trying to get you to go to campus and you get there and you're like, you're not special anymore. You had it all set up.
You're like, yeah, I'm going to just take a helicopter, be good there. Did you like doing media or was it...
Yeah, it was fun. The travel was bad.
That was hard because I lived so far away from the airport. It's a lot that's where that's a lot of work i know when i was kidding tom i said man you know how much how work how hard work that is he said tell me about it what i gotta do i said of course i said it'll be easy for you'll be flying private yeah right yeah right right you think tom's gonna do a good job in the booth when he retires oh tom will do great whatever because he he's a perfectionist he's gonna find out talk to the right people he'll be great at it does uh does it ever get exhausting hanging out with tom because he is such a perfectionist are there some people that just can't can't deal with that level of intensity all the time no it's fun playing golf with him he gets as mad as i do you know it's uh it's always fun playing golf with him are you wearing the watch he bought you yes oh that is okay so there.
Okay, so there it is. I like that you were like, Tom and I are friends.
He bought me a watch. It was like case closed.
He bought you a watch. So if you're wearing it.
Is that good? Yeah, then it counts. If you weren't wearing it, I would have been like, you're suspect.
Yeah, that's not a real friendship. Yeah, so all right, so case closed.
This is an easy question. Who's better, Peyton or Tom Brady? Oh, no.

I'm not going there, brother.

How about we break it down?

You said, what, the heart, right?

What did you say?

You throw with your heart, you throw with your mind, your grit, and your arm. So of those four attributes, as far as grit, who's grittier, Peyton or Tom?

They're equal.

You're going to say that everything's equal, aren't you? Heart? Two lions. Arm.
At 45 versus Peyton at 40, Tom. But at 25, they're both seven.
Okay. And then Brain.
Oh, yeah. They're both off the charts yeah yeah andrew luck yeah number one really best quarterback you ever coached i only had him as a rookie but he was unbelievable we're trying to get him on this show he's like kind of a new white whale of ours because he doesn't do any media and i think we're now at a point so happy man i know i saw him at chuck's chuck it's hard to believe chuck's cancer thing is 10 years that's incredible you know and uh we went to the to the fundraiser and saw andrew out in the parking lot and he's a happy guy just great it's crazy too that like when you think about him retiring it felt like it feels like 10 years ago it's three years ago three years ago and he's you know he's hasn't looked back and i think there's that that time that happens where a guy retires early like barry sanders you're, oh, maybe he'll come back.
There's no chance he's coming back, right? None. No.
I kind of admire him for being able to walk away from something that he was the best in the world at. And to hear you say that he's the best quarterback that you've ever coached.
As a rookie. As a rookie.
To walk away from all that and potentially a limitless NFL career because you don't actually love it, that takes a lot of balls to do that because I think a lot of guys, they keep playing football either because they get addicted to the money or because they think that's something that they're supposed to do and it's something that they've done all their lives, and they don't have that inner will to be able to say, you know what? I'm actually not happy. I'm going to go do something that makes me happy.
So I have a lot of respect for andrew luck for for doing that i mean four straight years of rehabilitation will wear you out mentally yeah you know and um he was taking a beating and again tough as nails i mean um he's the only linebacker he's the only quarterback that throws an interception and hits as hard as the linebacker because he's pissed off. Yeah, right.
That definitely did happen all the time with Andrew Luck. I have a very important question for you.
It's going to kind of change my mood today. Do you remember Steven Che? The guy who did Buck's Fantasy Camp.
He came down. Spitek had him running around.
He did it this year. He did it a couple years ago, too.
Do you remember him at all? He tried to give you some plays at the bar. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Did you ever use the play? No.
Good. All right.
If you had said yes and you had remembered him, I would have... I got him back.
I'm in now. No.
No. So when he gave you that play, were you like, did you just throw it in the trash like this guy? Thanks, buddy.
Yeah. Smart.
Good. He actually was supposed to be here today.
He just, he's dealing with COVID and his family, so he can't be here. But I was, like, very nervous that you're going to be like, oh, yeah, that guy, he's an up-and-coming genius.
And I was going to be like, all right, this interview's over. We can't do this anymore.
The only person I ever let call plays, a young guy at Temple was in a wheelchair, Kanji, and he had had spina bifida so he mom would bring the practices and and he would draw up a play for me and we've run the first play where he'd have crazy reverses and you know we've got paul palmer leading the nation in russia and so finally he said hey let's just give it to paul up the middle yeah right i'm with you on he's learning yeah that's great uh great. We had Nathaniel Hackett on the show a couple weeks ago,

and he was asking me for some advice because I have done some consulting

with some NFL coaches about kind of implementing rugby strategies

into the NFL.

I told him, I don't want to tell you because we have Bruce Arians coming on,

and I like your offense better than Nathaniel Hackett's.

So I'm going to share it with you exclusively.

The laterals are going to change the game. Design.
The laterals are going to change the game.

Design downfield laterals are going to be the next evolution in football.

When you have not just the hook and ladder play,

but a guy that's getting tackled and being able to wrap around

and offload to a player that they know that they're going to be

on their hip pocket, it works really well in rugby.

And I'm convinced that if a coach practices enough

and the coach has to have job security because if there's turnovers you know turnovers will kill you but if you practice it correctly and you do it smartly and pick your spots I truly believe that's going to be the next big wave in offensive football in the NFL if you want to take that I'll be special advisor to the special advisor you got it and uh I I would I would be honored to teach you more about this strategy. I'm going to bring in some guys from Fiji to help.
We're going to go nationwide and do a camp teaching NFL and college head coaches how to implement this downfield lateral strategy. Yeah, spacing is so big in our passing game, we don't have two guys next to each other.
So it's very hard to get that guy right now it's like the hook and lateral stuff yeah you're running towards a guy you can probably you could probably implement something um but it's gonna be high risk high reward yeah well the reward is super bowls yeah so i'm here to offer you another super bowl yeah okay yeah is that something you i'm not gonna lose another game so yeah that. All right, so since you're out of coaching, I have a coaching hypothetical for you that maybe you can speak on.
Let's say Championship Sunday, okay? It's fourth and eight, and you're on the goal line. So it's fourth and eight, fourth and goal from the eight, and you are down eight points.
Do you kick the field goal, or do you go for it? Also, Tom Brady's on the other sideline. On the other sideline? How much time is left? There's like two and some change.
Oh, you got to go for it. You do? Okay.
Eight minutes left, I'm kicking the field goal. Yeah, yeah.
Two minutes. Two minutes, you got to go for it.
Unless I got three timeouts. So when Matt LaFleur did that, were you like, what the hell is he doing? No, I actually thought it was the right thing.
No. He had two-minute warning and three timeouts.

Right.

You had Tom Brady.

You had Tom Brady.

He had to believe he was getting that ball back.

Right.

But you had Tom Brady.

But he could go for it, and if he doesn't get it,

he could still believe he's getting the ball back and go for it again.

Yeah.

We think he was trying to kick three field goals to beat you guys.

I think just one and get the ball back and let Aaron do it. Yeah.
Because he's got Aaron Rodgers. Right.
But you have Tom Brady. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Interesting. Yeah.
Yeah. You guys did win.
Is there any other quarterback that's in the game right now that you want to coach? I won't say that you want to coach, but that you watch play and you're like, I would love to coach this guy. Oh, I thought for sure when we were in Arizona, we were getting Patrick patrick mahomes really as that draft was falling i was like he's ours it's either him or deshaun

yeah and uh but pat was he's right there in kansas he doesn't need a quarterback

they take him like what they got alex smith just went to pro bowl and uh we thought he would we

and we loved him yeah so you were you actually had him higher than most on your draft board you

probably were like i can't believe you had him first overall would you have i went out to lubbock

and we'll see you next time. And we loved him.
Yeah. So you actually had him higher than most on your draft board.
You probably were like, I can't believe you had him first overall. I went out to Lubbock and worked him out personally.
And skill-wise is off the chart. But mentally, he was right there with Peyton and Andrew and Tom.
I mean, he's like sharp. Right.
I mean, just really sharp. So he starts falling.
And are you thinking to yourself, like, what are these other teams seeing that I'm not seeing? No, I mean just really sharp but so he starts falling and are you thinking to yourself like what are these other teams seeing that that I'm not seeing like no I mean because there was a lot of knocks on the way the offense he was coming out of and things like that but just the four teams in front of us no one needed a quarterback yeah so did you how much when you were looking at quarterbacks did you take into account the car they drove was that important part of the process yeah you gotta talk about swagger yeah yeah a little bit or lack of yeah yeah or like if they drove like an old car it's like hey they've been driving the same car for 20 years the reason okay i want to know the reason why you're in that car well if it's a good reason then i guess you got to draft the guy yeah yeah okay all right so yeah that's why he took yeah mitch had to be drafted he had a car he had an old car that he drove that makes sense. Patrick Mahomes, bust.
Mitch Trubisky, got to draft him. That's exactly right.
All right, so I had one last question for you, Coach. This has been awesome.
It's a rowback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, hoodies, polos, everything. So, Tom Brady, how long do you think he actually will keep playing?

I know he said, I think he's always said 45, so this is 45.

But from your estimation, like just watching him day to day,

do you think he's going to play three, four more years?

Because we're at the point now where we're just.

Nothing surprises me.

With Tom, nothing surprised me because he's in such unbelievable.

Like I said, he's throwing the ball better than he did two years ago. Right.
And so much of it's his personal life. I think he's got decisions.
But as far as being able to play, he can still play. Yeah.
Yeah, it would really be a weird situation if he just kept getting better or kept staying the same and kept expecting after every year, like I'm going to feel bad after this season. Might as well retire.
But then he just keeps going.

I could honestly see Tom Brady playing for another five years.

It wouldn't shock.

I don't know about five, but a couple for sure.

He looks young.

Oh, yeah.

He looks great, doesn't he? Very young.

Fantastic.

What's his secret?

TB12.

Yeah.

That's tough.

Drinking all that water he drinks, man.

Yeah.

Does he walk around?

So I started carrying this around.

I feel like a freak.

This is twice that size.

And how many times does he fill that up per day?

I think at least two.

Jeez.

He drinks his body weight and water every day.

When he came to, because there was obviously stories written

that maybe the TV 12 stuff with his trainer

had a little tension in New England.

When he came to Tampa, it was like,

you get to do whatever you want.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.
Alex, open arms. Help me, brother.
Yeah, right. Help me.
Yeah. I mean, it obviously worked.
Super Bowl champion. I mean, it is crazy to have you back on.
Like I said, when we were in your basement, you're like, I'm retired. I'm done.
Talking about helicopters taking a CVS. And it's just like, all right.
Then he won a Super Bowl. Only guy that's got me beats Favre.
Yeah. Yeah.
i think i've unretired three times yeah farve i think he had three right i'm still waiting for another one too with farve he definitely yeah yeah he definitely gets out there and like every every spring like oh the old cannon's feeling good is there like a specific sliding doors moment where you uh you thought that you were retired actually actually retired and you were very close to staying retired but finally got you know somebody convinced you to come back like i have to imagine that when you left pittsburgh you thought that you were that was actually it for you right yeah so what happened there that was because i remember when i read about that the first time it seemed like you were completely checked out of football this is it it. Time to hit the golf course, have a few cocktails, fade into the sunset.
Well, I can still hit the golf course and still drink the cocktails. But it was Chuck.
Chuck called. And, you know, the idea of getting a young quarterback again got me fired up.
And whether it was going to be RG3 or or Andrew. So, yeah, that started it.
And then the health things in Phoenix, they got scary. The cancer thing was, okay, this stuff's enough.
And then Jake calling Jason and saying, let's do this in Tampa. Right.
That's a good son. But you're officially, officially.
I'm officially done.

Officially.

I'm officially done.

I don't believe it at all.

The more you say officially, the less I believe.

I got my last flag two weeks ago.

Yeah, no.

We're practicing against the Titans.

Okay.

And I'm cussing out the ref.

He threw a flag on me.

He said, you ain't dead coach no more.

Oh, shit.

I'm going to the press box.

Yeah, no.

I fully expect in five years for you to come back on this show,

you're going to be retired again with another Super Bowl, and you'll be like, yeah, Tom Brady's still young as ever. He just won his 10th Super Bowl.
But, Coach, we really appreciate your time. You're a great recurring guest.
Everyone go to coachingcholesterol.com for more information. Super important, especially when you're getting up there in age.
I'm going to go check it out because 37, got a couple kids, got to start taking care of myself. Especially if you're in a stressful job and you have bad cholesterol, you're just asking for it.
That's a silent killer. Yeah, so everyone check it out.
Coachingcholesterol.com and Coach Bruce Arians, not Coach Bruce Arians, Special assistant. Hand of the king, Bruce Arians.
We appreciate your time. Appreciate you guys.
Thank you, man. Coach Arians was brought to you by Skrill.
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Create your free account today. The interview is also brought to you by part of my cheesesteak.
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Go to partofmycheesesteak.com to learn more and order now on DoorDash, Uber Eats, Postmates, or Grubhub. Okay, time for Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore of living legends. Are you going to poop? No.
Mount Rushmore of living legends because we're in Stu Finer's basement. Jilly won on Monday.

We feel good right now.

Killer.

Pass for Mount Rushmore's.

Two dubs.

Two seconds.

You guys are hot.

A lot of people are saying it's almost Albert Pujols like.

Yeah.

All drug tests.

And we know you will.

Okay.

So Jake's the first guy.

Why would you bring that?

Out of everybody that I've met in my life, if I ever need clean piss, I'm going to Jake's

store first.

Absolutely.

If Billy came to you for clean piss, would you do it?

Thank you. out of everybody that I've met in my life if I ever need clean piss I'm going to Jake's store first if Billy came to you for clean piss would you do it great question there's no DNA in piss so they couldn't trace it back to you if he fails it we get disqualified no like he was like he's like yo big cat's making me take, I'm fired.
I need your piss. No, because if I get caught with you.
Okay, what about this? What if Billy comes in, he's out of breath, and there's sirens going on, and he's like, Jake, I'm in a jam. I need your cum real fast.
What do you do? He's like, it's life or death. I'm going to jail for a very long time, unless can get some of your cum.
I'll go to the bathroom. I don't want Billy to die.
Love it. What if he's like, I just need it on my face? No.
Billy's rather die? That's just Jake and Billy's Saturday night. All right.
You guys decide. Order.
Living Legends is the Mount Rushmore in honor of Stu Finer,

and Hank is teamed up with Stu Finer.

So we'll see how that goes. We should take first.

Yeah?

I don't know if we have a clear cut 1-1.

Dissension amongst the ranks.

Look what a little bit of success does to these guys.

You want to go last?

Yeah, we'll go third.

Hank can go first.

Okay, great.

And Catcom will go second.

That's very nice.

All right. Hank, you're 1-1..
And Catcom will go second. All right.

Hank, you're 1-1.

And Stu has been texting Hank nonstop this entire episode,

so I'm sure that Hank's got a lot to choose from here.

1-1 Hezbollah.

Okay.

Interesting.

Yeah, going heavy on the internet.

Okay.

He's a living legend.

Okay.

Okay.

Interesting pick.

Is Stu on your team?

He won't fight Abdu.

Or Jack McGuire?

Shout out Jack Mack.

I love that word.

I mean, it's his bull.

He's free Jack Mack.

He got fucking heavy.

He's free.

Oh, he's free?

All right.

Well, congrats to me.

I just freed him.

Good job by me.

Another dub in my fucking book here.

I freed that guy because I like him. All right.
I think. All right.
That's your one one. That's your one one.
Is that your one? Are you deaf? Okay. That's your one one.
All right. Our one one.
What did you like that? PFT? I mean, I think that we have some other good ones. So what do you go with? You go with what you're feeling one one because we do have a great list.
Okay, yeah. I'm shocked that Hank went with Hasbulla instead of the goat Michael Jordan.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Michael Jordan, living legend.
The best basketball player of all time. Maybe the most important athletic figure besides Secretariat and Tachin Saldekar of all time.
Also has gotten cooler with age. His brand still sells millions of sneakers yeah he's a living legend he he swagger jacked the hitler stash from hitler yeah but he's kind of like i feel like it's like he's into a room he's been so unsuccessful as an owner no no no no yeah that is that is not correct wait wait did you just say he's an owner of a basketball team you're right he is he is.
And he made that money by being so good at basketball. He didn't.
Adam Morrison, he thought was going to be good. Although, I don't know.
Was that his pick? Yeah, I think it was. And Kwame Brown had all the tools.
Listen, Michael Jordan walks in a room. It stops the room.
Guaranteed. He is the room.
Same with Hezbollah. He's the greatest basketball player of all time.
That goes for Hezbollah as well. The greatest basketball player of all time.

No, he walks in the room.

Everyone stops.

I don't know if that's true.

If you're on the other side of the room, Hezbollah walks in.

You stop?

Yeah, because everyone else is like, you hear all of a sudden it's like a hush.

And then everyone's like, oh, okay.

How many rooms have you been with Hezbollah?

Unfortunately, none, because I'm not as much of a living legend.

You go to any country in the world, and they're like Michael Jordan.

Hezbollah.

No.

He's got international, yeah.

You don't think Michael Jordan's big in China?

There's other countries than just China.

Okay.

Dagestan.

How big do you think Michael Jordan is in Dagestan?

Huge.

Huge.

Huge.

But not as big as Hezbollah.

I disagree.

Yeah.

Okay.

That was an easy one.

We're going to go in a similar category to you guys. Change sports and take Tom Brady.
Ooh, okay. Okay.
Good pick. And then I think...
Is he live, though? No, I think what me and Max said. I like where we're going to go because I think we should go four different categories and just stunt on these.
I mean, we got the best athlete. We just stunt on them.
I think it's... Did you guys have Jordan as your 1-1? Yeah, we were going to take MJ.
Yeah. Good pick by us.
Billy doesn't want to go with what me and Max have. Okay.
So that means it's probably pretty good. Yeah.
I might just say it then, Billy. All right, say it.
Say it. Okay, I'll...
Say it. Say it.
He doesn't like this pick. Say it.
No, I like it. The Rock.
The Rock. The Rock.
All right. All right.
That's a good pick. Yeah.
Everyone loves The Rock yeah everyone loves the rock yeah what the rock's cooking he is all right i think we now do um i think we can just go everywhere like i think yeah we can mix it up a little bit i think maybe we you know what we should go uh do we want to do this because i think the one i sent you no one's gonna have sure all right uh let's go with the guy who's got like a% likability rating, puts out incredible movies for the last 40 years, Adam Sandler, living legend. Great pick.
Also just goes viral every other day for just dropping dimes in a pick-up moves game. He's sick, Adam Sandler.
And also, he goes viral for being a good friend all the time. Yeah.
When I see Adam Sandler trending, it's usually because he did something awesome to help out some loser like rob schneider yes not necessarily because he put out a new movie correct no offense to rob schneider yeah we'll love to have him back on all right i'm gonna go with one of mine one of mine and one of stews i'll let you guys pick okay we can decide which one uh charles barkley okay that's a good. I mean, Jordan dominated for an entire decade.

He mentally dominated him in the finals.

Yeah, but who are you tuning into every week to hear about their basketball takes?

Michael Jordan or Charles Barkley?

To host that show, he could.

I don't think so.

Yeah, he could.

I don't think so.

He could fire everyone.

That's my show now.

It's not easy just turning on a mic and being entertaining.

You guys know that.

Yeah, you're right.

Any asshole can do it.

No, they can't.

That's the argument you guys are trying to make. No, I mean, we make that argument every day by us existing.
We are truly assholes with a mic in front of us. And Dua Lipa.
Okay. That's your pick.
Yeah. Stu loves Dewey Lipa.
Loves Dewey Lipa. All right.
She's not even the go to singers. Okay.
We got a lot. By the way, so Memes has been helping us out.
Memes has sent us a couple dead people. Yes, very dead.
Stuart sent me about 35 dead people. Memes sent us Walter Payton.
He died in 1990. I threw him a Muhammad Ali.
What are we doing? What did we do wrong this time, A? What did we do? You're perfect. Help us be half as good as you.
I, I'm terrible. I'm terrible.
I'm done the worst. Okay, I think, you know what? Let's

do this because this one they can't. I think we can save the first one you just sent me.

I think we could get this one and just rock everyone. I mean, that is an objectable, right?

All right. Objective? Yeah.
Objective. Unobjectable.
Unobjectable. Unimpeachable.
Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin.
The man was on the moon. I mean, like, was he? Was he, though? Was he? Yeah.
Oh, here we go, Billy. Jesus Christ.
He said it first. Is he the last remaining man on the moon, too? I think he is, yeah.
So Buzz Aldrin, and also he punched that dude in the face. Yeah.
I feel like Stanley Kubrick should be the living legend. What a fucking legend Buzz Aldrin is.
Stanley Kubrick. Oh, you know what's going to happen? Like, half the people that we name are going to die.
Yeah, probably. Like real soon.
Yeah. We're definitely jinxing everybody.
Oh, the queen. Damn.
Okay. Sister Jean, heaven forbid.
Our first pick is going to be Wayne Gretzky. Okay, we have him on the list.
Yes, that's a living legend. Yes.
and then we're going to be Wayne Gretzky. We have him on the list.
That's a living legend, yes. And then we're going to go with Marcus Luttrell.
Okay. Fellow troop.
Living legend. I thought we were going elsewhere.
Okay. Max, you weren't on the right page.
No, he said he was good with something Yeah I don't have a mic I just said I was throwing that name also out there We were good, but I was just saying I was throwing that in there Okay Living legend I like how you're holding that mic like your camera on I'm never going to argue against the troops Billy, but there's a lot of people that probably see that name and don't even know what that's from. Well, those are the people that don't matter.
You don't have to hold the mic like you're Fred Durst. Because I can't.
All right, so we went Michael Jordan. We went Adam Sandler.
We went Buzz Aldrin. So we've done it all.

I think we've got to finish with

a true

living legend, Lisa Ann.

Yeah. I mean, it's a good pick.
Lisa Ann is a true

living legend. She turned so

many boys into men. And she also, like,

every now and then comes out of retirement and it's like

an event. And she comes to the office

sometimes. And she comes to the office.
She is a living

legend. And she's a very nice person.
And a very nice the office. She is a living legend.
And she's a very nice person.

And a very nice person.

I shook her hand once.

Wow.

That's crazy.

Is that why you haven't washed her hand?

He's just smelling it.

That's why he's holding the mic up to his face so closely.

All right.

So, Hank, finish us off.

There's so many living legends.

Should I go with one of mine or one of Stu's?

Why don't you not tell us, and then we'll figure out whose it was.

Mike Tyson.

That's a great question. Should I go with one of mine or one of Stu's? Why don't you not tell us, and then we'll figure out whose it was.

Mike Tyson.

That's a good pick.

Good pick.

That's a good pick, Stu.

That's a good pick, Stu.

It was.

That was Stu's pick.

Good job, Stu.

Oh, he was at the U.S. Open, too.

I can't wait to rattle off his list.

Sweating his balls off. All right, so other ones, and then we'll finish with Stu's list.

Robert De Niro or Al Pacino, both living legends.

Absolute living legends.

De Niro got political, though.

When you're a living legend, that can affect your legend status. I mean, Muhammad Ali was political his entire life.

And also, you're kind of proving the point that Michael Jordan was the greatest pick.

Oh, yeah.

That's true.

That was a good pick.

Yeah.

Okay.

That was a good pick. Yeah, we had Gretzky as well.
But Hezbollah, objectively, is way bigger. We had Oprah.
Yeah, Oprah was the one I wanted to pick. Oh, Oprah's a good one.
We had Saban and Belichick. Dolly Parton.
I had Dolly Parton. Dolly is truly a living legend.
Pamela Anderson. Alexis, Texas.
I had a couple that I knew weren't going to get picked, but I just had to say it in the group chat. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal.
We had Arnold. Yeah, we had Arnold as well.
I went with the Stu Duelipa. If I was going for a women singer, I would have went with Rihanna.
Beyonce. Your guy.
Oh, Stevie Nicks. Your guy.
Jack Klaus. Oh, Jack Klaus.
Jack Klaus would have been a great pick. Jack Klaus.
And Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson, Guy Fieri, living legend.
Paul McCartney. Steve Irwin.
He died. He got stung by Stingray.
Are you serious? Are you serious? No, we were talking about Steve Irwin. We talked about Steve Irwin for about 30 minutes yesterday on Macro Dosing.
He's been so dead for a long time. Famously dead.
But he's a legend. I was thinking of legends.
Yeah, that's not the thing. It's living legends in honor of Stu Finder, who is very much alive and a living legend.
Your source. Pele? Yep.
Pele. Lennon Donovan.
Oh, Ronaldo? No, Messi. Messi.
Meme suggested Hugh Hefner, also very dead. Stu suggested that him as well.
Bret Hart, the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be. I mean, that's just the best tagline.
Ric Flair. Willie Mays.
Willie Nelson. Willie Mays is not dead.
He's still alive. Barry Bonds just took that picture.
I to I should tweet that right now actually I'm gonna wait who's who's I just go to Barry Bonds who's the guy who's the guy commercials who passed away oxy clean Billy Mays you miss that you you mistook Willie Mays for Billy yeah yeah that's easy that's easy to do do. Ozzy Osbourne.
I had Ozzy. Wow, that's wild.
Should I say Rip Willie Mays or just tweet the picture? That's an all-time picture. He looks dead.
Wait, it looks like his face. I've never seen that.
Wow. Should I say Rip? Oh, Berman.
Oh, yeah, Chris Berman. We had that, yeah.
All right, here's Stu's list. Stu Finer's living legends list.
If some of these people come up twice, I don't know the reason for it. But here we go.
This is in a succession of like 10 text messages. Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, LeBron, Tom Seaver, Billy Smith, Keith Hernandez, Dua Lipa, Joe Montana, Lawrence Taylor, Taylor Swift, John Elway, Sugar Ray Leonard, Mike Tyson, Ronaldo, Bill Walsh, DeGrom, John Madden, Ken Stabler, Bo Jackson, Deion Sanders, Jerry Rice, Pete Rose, Einstein, Freud, Moses, Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collins, Neil Diamond, Mark Spitz, Mike Lupica, Bill Parcells, Derek Cheater, Joe Torre, Hugh Hefner, Al Pacino Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson Tom Cruise, Bono, Mike Piazza Reggie Jackson Mike Lupica You want to go with Mitch Albom? Mike Lupica has got to be He's got to be so excited hearing his name on that list What a.
Fuck. What a great list.
All right. Great show, everyone.
We're about to tape with Stu for NFL Futures, which will come out next Wednesday before the kickoff on Thursday. Stu, I think we got it.
Yeah. I think you guys got it for sure.
Hasboula was a fucking great pick. I mean, it will play on the internet.
That's the only thing. It plays everywhere.
Michael Jordan and his bull walk in the room?

No.

One's fucking way taller.

Yeah, exactly.

So they're looking down.

No, no, no.

They see Michael Jordan from across the room. Because they're like, holy shit, that's Michael Jordan.

No.

Shaq.

Shaq's a good one.

Shaq is a good one.

Shaq is definitely a living legend.

Okay.

Great show, everyone.

Numbers? Random numbers? 26. 62.
43. Random number generator.
Hank, will you be upset if you get one of these? Yeah, I will. It'll be Mickey Mouse.
All right. I'm going to go with 27.
3. 56.
Are you? 8. We got the ping pong ball machine sold.

I think that's going to be my key to victory.

Oh, hell yeah.

Stu, pick a number.

0 to 100.

31.

31.

That was quick.

Oh, that's your birthday.

Yeah.

Birthday bros.

Yeah.

Okay.

Jackie Robinson.

The guy on TikTok.

Oh, Josh.

All right, here we go.

Ready?

84.

Ah, sound guy had 88.

Fuck.

All right, 84.

All right, see everyone on Friday for Jerry O'Connell.

Love you guys.

While humans aren't the fastest animals out there,

research has shown that humans are the best endurance runners on the planet. Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me off Take me on Take me on I need less to save I'm all set in I need some left away you Thank you.
Take me up Take me up Take me up Take me up Take me up Take me up Take me up You Take me out.

I'll be good.

You can't be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good.

I'll be good. I'll be good.
I'll be good. I'll be good.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Thank you. Take on feet.