Ryen Russillo In Studio, Hard Knocks Episode 2 Plus Mt Rushmore Of Everyday Activities That Should Be Olympic Sports

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend, Orion Rosillo, in studio, extended interview with him, plus a Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushmore of everyday activities that should be in the Olympics. We're going to recap hard knocks.
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Go check out Game Time right now if you're trying to go to a football game. Today is Wednesday, August 17th and Hard Knocks Episode 2, the story of Detroit.
I think that's what they put on their storyboard when they're like, how are we going to piece this together? Episode 1 campbell episode two detroit great city yeah shout out detroit the city of hope that's what you always have to say about detroit because there's always a lot of hope there and i'm hopeful for detroit i think hard knocks has successfully made me believe in the detroit lions now i i'm going to be probably very wrong about that as anyone who's ever rude for detroit knows but I'm at that point where like yeah I can see I can see the Lions making some noise yeah yeah I mean we we do let this happen to us every year with hard knocks but you know the Lions were scrappy last year when they were supposed to be terrible Dan Campbell instills something some kind of emotion in everyone if you watch him he has he literally had like a ring of sweat right where it was spit right where his whistle was resting just whistle spit that's how much he whistles um in practice and yeah i agree with you and just just as an aside like watching the hard knocks with with the lions honolulu blue doesn't get enough shout outs for being a great shade of blue. Like it's always Carolina blue.
Honolulu blue is electric. It is very cool.
And I, this is really hard knocks. They're playing on expert mode now because every year they try to get you to believe in whatever team it is that they're profiling.
And if they can get you to believe in the Detroit lions, like even if they just go, if they go nine and eight, that's a Super Bowl for Detroit. Like what a story that would be.
And I saw the picture that you posted, Big Cat, of Dan Campbell and the whistle spit on his stomach. It is it's very impressive.
It's like it looked like a scene from Alien where something was trying to escape from his belly. The only thing I was thinking was when they showed John Brown, who, by the the way should be strength and conditioning coach for this team um he would suck that spit right out of dan campbell's smock in a second yeah so john brown ahmad st brown's uh ahmad ross st brown's father uh also equimanius st brown's father who's on the bears now, uh, is a former Mr.
What?

Mr. Universe, Mr.

Mr. Universe.

It was a hilarious scene.

He still trains his sons.

He had not only a moment where he shamed them for drinking water and was like, what?

Spit doesn't work.

And then he just astray at the man who catches more strays than anyone on earth, Kevin Durant,

and was like, let me ask you a question.

Kevin Durant, he tore his Achilles.

When's the last time he did a calf raise?

He said it was just like what i thought we had like transported into first take it was so perfect and that guy he just rules like how is he not someone's strength and conditioning coach yeah he's awesome he he should absolutely be on the payroll and i love he's the kind of guy that has the mindset of you should be able to lift your way out of any problem that you have yeah oh your uh your marriage is on the rocks you're not training hard enough right and and he he embodies my number one rule which is don't fuck with a guy who's wearing a protein branded hat that's a guy that will absolutely fuck you not only that he had um i think he runs a company, and he also had the double jersey in a very weird way where it's like bears interior and then lions on his shoulders and sleeves. And it was a very cool way to do a double jersey.
Because like, let's be honest, like doing a double jersey, it's hard to pull off. Obviously, it's usually family members.
And the split down the middle is usually not the way to go. He made it look look cool and maybe that's just because he's a badass.
Yeah. They got to get John Brown teamed up with Dale from Detroit urban survival training to be the co strength and conditioning coaches of the team.
I, I, who says no, I think they go 17 and 0 at that. I'd agree.
I'd agree. So, so yeah, this episode, um, it was, it was pretty much Detroit, David Blau being a great husband and then fumbling the game away, which I had bet on the Lions in that game.
So it was like double whammy. I got to watch that again.
All time backfire of a pump up speech in the huddle when he's just like, let's go get some first downs and we'll kneel it out and we'll win this game. And then like two seconds later, a what? That was a what? When he just couldn't catch the ball.
And the one thing that was that I noticed, like, and I love it because they're humans, but like, you know, the whole like next play mentality. That wasn't really the case for David.
Wow. He was just like, this fucking sucks.
I fucking can't believe I did that. Even the guy who dropped the interception was just laying there was like, I had the game winner.
It's like, yeah, you guys, next play, but not really because that sucked. Yeah, it did suck for David Blau because realistically, that could get him cut.
And that's one of those plays where he's like, he knows what happened right afterwards. And it's something so simple that he's done it a million times and he'll do it a million other times.
But he knows in that moment, it's like, okay, well, as much as Mark Brunel loves me and he'll probably cry that probably means that i'm gonna have to find a new job so yeah and he i mean i guess the only silver lining is he's definitely in the running for husband of the year like big wife guy david blau like very supportive that was actually a very touching little segment but that also that someone pointed out on twitter you know, the Rodrigo, the middle linebacker from Ohio or Oklahoma state was getting a lot of pub and you always have to be wary of anyone who gets like a big storyline in episode one or two, like David Blau, they probably like, you know what? They probably sat down with Dan Campbell before. And like, who are you thinking about cutting? It's like, oh, okay.
David Blau. All right, let let's get let's get a big story in here about he and his wife yeah yeah their kids are going to be really athletic though yeah like i want to draft their kid first overall dual threat quarterback there was another guy in this episode named um i don't know who it was but his nickname was big smooth and they brought big smooth in to break it down at the end of practice and they said all right, Big Smooth, the serpent of death and you're a fucking badass if your nickname has a nickname.
Yes. The only other person I can think of is Babe Ruth that had a nickname for a nickname.
But yeah, whoever the serpent of death is, I love that guy. Well done to you.
With Rodrigo, I want to believe in Rodrigo. I do too.
It sounds like he's awesome, and he's got a cool story behind him. But sometimes coaches love to use a late-drafted rookie or an undrafted rookie almost more to make a point to everybody else that's on the team and be like, this guy, Rodrigo, he's come to take your job.
They just use him as somebody that scares everybody into playing better because coach is disappointed that you're not putting as for as much effort forward as rodrigo yeah it was pretty awkward for him when they just had an entire segment where the coaches were like no one's ever done anything like this at linebacker in this building in front of all the other linebackers and then they he dropped the the line that i didn't realize hank fraley the offensive line coach uh has been there for five years, which credit to him because he went from Patricia to Daryl Bevel to Dan Campbell. Like, that's impressive to have that stick-to-itiveness.
And then I was like, oh, yeah, like, if you take one look at Hank Fraley, Dan Campbell was in love right away. He's just like, yeah, that's my guy.
Yeah, I feel like if you're an aggressive, physical offensive line coach, then if the rest of your team is really, really bad and you guys have bad records, you can be the one that sticks around because you can't blame anything on the offensive line. Well, it also just comes down to a simple moment where I'm sure the offensive linemen were like told Dan Campbell, like we want Hank Fraley and the offensive linemen are just the biggest dudes in the room so they usually get what they want yeah he respects mass Dan Cable has an excellent power stance throughout this episode as well his his feet are always wider than his shoulder width is and he continues to set records for using the word men yes when he's addressing his team we should do a drinking game yeah you have to drink your own spit whenever Dan Campbell says says man yeah and it's um be super hydrated by the end yeah he i'm trying to think of the other moments he had he's a butt guy he he revealed that right away when he was uh tj hawkinson was wearing booty shorts and he's like my wife used to have those and it's like okay flashback yeah everything reminds me of her he's the i should i should text her meme in real life oh i forgot uh aiden hutchinson's family um that was a funny moment when when uh what's uh what's the mr universe's name john brown he was like yeah they're probably sitting up in that box up there and that sweet 20 million dollar bonus or whatever and there's like flashes to them sitting up there uh freaking out which of course they would freak out because it's their brother son but it was the one moment i loved was aiden hutchinson made like i think he had two tackles to start the drive and his mom is crying like literally crying and then you just hear out of the corner of the suite his dad being like two snaps two tackles i'll take it it's like we're we're like this preseason i like that was okay but like it was not impressed it was it was a very funny moment and they were you know talking about what he should do for his sack dance and all that stuff i had i brought my notebook out i'm going pin on paper this season i'm going to just see how that goes try it on i've been doing it forever i made a note um when they showed aiden hutchinson's family up there but i didn't look it up are the jets playing against the lions this year because if so zach wilson is absolutely going to show out in front of his mom for sure for sure backwards way of pft saying that she's attractive no i'm saying that zach will she's the kind of girl that zach wilson would find that get that hank yep week 15 you got that hank he was like he was like how can i say this without getting the immediate bonk the delayed bonk no no no no i'm putting the bonk on on zach wilson on that one because i know you know he's at home he doesn't have anything else to do he's he's recovering from surgery he's watching this episode he's put a big fat circle in week 15 okay would bill you get your hand raised i would say that aiden hutchinson his sisters shouldn't be referred to as aiden hutchinson's sisters but rather hutchinson should be referred to as the brother of miss michigan yeah okay let.
Let's just give them their flowers. Yes.
I like that. Mr.
Michigan in law. Nice.
Uh, nice correction there. Um, and then the last thought I had was Barry Sanders could still like, I know we joke, but he was looking at the grass being like, I could tear this up real quick.
Like watch out. I still got some miles left.
Yeah Yeah, he was looking at the grass like Zach Wilson's looking at Aiden Hutchinson's mom. There it is.
Yeah, that's true. And I think that I think Barry Sanders could actually he could get like 40 yards in a game.
Realistically, I think if we're being totally honest, I think that he could get 40 yards behind the best offensive line in the league.

Maybe not the Lions line.

Who are the best Lions right now?

Probably the Browns are pretty good, right?

Cowboys.

I think he could get 40 yards in an NFL game. Yeah, I mean, the miles that he left on the tire, they don't go away.

They're still on the tire.

You have to remember, for every yard that he got in the NFL, he probably got like four yards going laterally or backwards yeah that's true that is true he does have a lot of a lot of tread um pretty good episode not as strong as the first one but i would say it was pretty good episode i mean i'm still intrigued still excited i i also want to just shout out our good friend jared goff felt like he was doing a great job on theelines, especially pumping up David Blau, even though he totally cost him the game and cost my bet. But again, good husband, so whatever.
But yeah, that was nice to see Jared just getting in the mix. You guys also called him Tim Kennedy the other day.
Yeah. Tom Kennedy, right? Wow, I can't believe we said something or a name wrong.

You confused me.

Who's Tim Kennedy? You thought we were talking about the MMA guy.

It's an MMA guy that's got takes online.

What do you got, Billy?

You're muted.

No, I called him Tim.

And I think I echoed it.

So, Billy and I in the wrong.

Do you have a list for names you screwed up, Hank?

Let me check. Just that one.
Okay, good. All right, last thing before we get to the rest of the show.
We have awesome Rosillo in studio. Hadn't had him in studio in a couple of years.
PFT, you are, do you want to, your arm is. I feel like this is going time, time traveling.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I went to the doctor today because a couple of days ago, I was doing a club fitting for a good friends over at TaylorMade and they were, they're going to hook me up with some sweet clubs, but I hit probably like a million golf balls. And on one of my last swings felt like a popper twinge in my elbow.
And then my fingers started to go numb.

So I asked pro football doc about it.

And he said that it might be a UCL thing.

So I went to go see a doctor today.

I got diagnosed with a, they did an ultrasound on my elbow, which is kind of cool.

They put that little gel on and they rubbed the wand back and forth.

And so I've got nerve damage to my ulnar nerve, I think. And it might be a ligament.
So we'll wait two weeks. I can't make the flexing motion.
So I can't do this at all. Even though you're doing it? I guess if you're watching it on the YouTube.
I'm doing it right now. So you've got to take several bonks off the list if I can't even make my right arm go up and down.
But you're doing it. That'll probably make it worse, huh? I can do it, but I'm not supposed to.
Oh, okay. So you're going to be stalked up.
So basically, you're in a very religious household now. You can do it, but you're not supposed to.
Yeah, exactly. It's Catholicism.
I got prescribed one Sunday mass. And basically, what the doctor told me is that I'm so strong.
He's never seen anything like that before, that my forearm muscles tore my ligament off my bone potentially. So we're going to go back in two weeks, see if it's healed.
That's a joke. That's obviously not what really happened is I'm so unathletic that I hurt my arm practicing golf, not even playing golf.
Cut that part. No, I like the first part jacked up for a fact that you were about to like break 80 and this is going to stop you well yeah i mean i had a lot of momentum i think i broke 130 last time so i mean we're trending in the right direction if i keep these percentages up i'll be below 80 in no time but it's uh it's kind of a bummer but we're going to move forward i'm not missing any, unlike Stephen A.
Smith, who took an entire fucking month off with a shoulder surgery. Now, I might have to get surgery Tommy John on this, and I don't know who the fuck is Tommy John anyways.
Do we know? Yeah, he's the pitcher. We need to rename that surgery.
He's the pitcher who got the surgery. I think it needs to be renamed.
Who else had it? DeGrom? Every pitcher. It's now become the thing that you're supposed to get it just it's like a tune-up yeah so they come back throwing faster right so my arm's going to come back even stronger we'll see what happens if i do have to get surgery my idea was to go get it from dr james andrews because he does elbows and all that shit so that would be that would be interesting to have a consultation with him but the bottom line is elbow guy what's that you think he's maybe like booked out no uh no he works on professional athletes hank and i am one but this is going to give me a good opportunity to golf no i mean in my own brain okay yeah i mean you're so you're a professional podcaster that should count like Like, he is a doctor of the stars.
You are a star. Exactly.
Like, doing a podcast more than anyone, I should know the importance of having a solid working right forearm. That's basically all we have.
But I'm going to be able to move forward, I hope, and not need surgery. But we'll go and Mike get an MRI in a couple weeks.
But, you know, it's a challenge. But is this is why we podcast big cat you you got bit by a dog you didn't miss a show I broke my foot didn't miss a show this is just par for the course so I'm hurt not injured looking forward to moving forward with this but if you don't think that I'm going to milk this for all it's worth you've got another thing coming and I also in theory should be able to get workers comp for this because it happened on the job.

I was literally entertaining a client when it happened.

That's facts.

All right.

So I've got this little brace on right now, which is it's such a little beta brace.

It's basically like the strap that you wear in a game in remembrance of somebody.

But I have to keep it on.

And then at night, I have to wear one that just stabilizes my arm.

But, you know, like I'm talking a lot.

I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm trying to be real low profile with it so um we're just going to move

forward and pretend like i'm fine um all right so i'm reading right now tommy john he got this he

was the first pitcher to ever get the surgery um and the doctor gave him a hundred to one shot of

it being successful and he got the surgery in 19 he debuted in 1969 he got the surgery 1963 he got

Thank you. to one shot of it being successful and he got the surgery in 19 he debuted in 1969 1963 he got the surgery in 1974 and he pitched all the way till 1989 so look at that he deserves it I like those eyes I'm looking at it right now like Tommy John kind of deserves the name the fact that he pitched an entire career after he got the surgery is pretty impressive i'm just going to call it a pft tune-up that's going to be my name for it so if if i extend my podcasting career by another 30 years after the surgery then i think i should get the name 30 is the number that i'm looking okay because he so i'm looking right now john right now, Tommy John went on to win 164 games after having the surgery.

40 more than before.

That's pretty, you gotta

put up numbers. I gotta stay on top

of the charts. That's all, I have no

choice, so it's, wait, hold on.

I'm gonna give you the exact year. You gotta stay

up on top of the charts for

14 more years after the surgery.

Okay, I can, that's easy. We will be 51 years old oh god we got bad looks from billy and hank well billy was licking his lips 40 billy was licking his lips hank looked at us like holy shit these ancient dinosaurs i can't wait till we're 51 doing this podcast.
Still talking about fucking players.

Moms.

I'll be your age.

Like all these kids,

all the kids from hard knocks today will be.

Wait,

what was that?

Billy?

What'd you say?

In 14 years,

I will be 37,

right?

Yeah.

I don't,

you tell us how old you are.

We don't know your age. I'm 23.
Okay in 14 years i'll be 37 that just made me feel really that's fucked up yeah like when i'm 51 it's like doing the math with i'm sure you've done this big cat with like your kids when they're going to graduate that sort of thing that makes me feel old i'm gonna be 51 and billy's gonna be my age yeah no that will will be my son will be like going into his senior year of high school in 14 years. Yeah, he'll be Billy.
Yeah, he'll be Billy. Well, he'll be a little.
Yeah, he'll be Billy. Billy, if my son turns out to be you, I'll be very proud of him.
Because every kid just takes their own path. If Billy ends up taking our job like he thinks he's going to, then he hires your son to be the new Billy, and he just constantly suspends him to get back at you.
But the plot twist is my son's always on time, and a model citizen, and he just suspends him for no reason. I like it.
This is the future, folks. You're at it so let's just hope that pft all this can be avoided if pft avoids surgery yeah i'll just say like a lot of people are saying thoughts and prayers to pft my rule of thumb is i don't need any more i don't need any more thoughts give me your prayers i've got enough thoughts in my own head so just pick one thoughts or prayers i'd prefer prayers yeah bill you have a solution before we kick it to ourselves back in studio i have research chemicals that could solve all this but pft is being too soft actually like oh is that true pft are you being soft the answers no any anytime billy says i have research chemicals my answer is an automatic yes but then he started to get too far into it he was ordering from a weird place and they cost a couple hundred bucks I think Billy just Billy just likes spending other people's money so he was just like can I get your card Joe Rogan uses them for what oh well there you go okay good enough kind of have to do it PFT I maybe give me a floater of Ivermectin I'm gonna say PFT like if we want to stay at the top of the charts, I think you've got to take the research chemicals.
All right. So I want, real talk, I wanted to take the research chemicals, but then Billy said that he would have to inject them into my elbow.
So if I can find someone else to inject them, I'll squirt whatever liquid Billy gives me into my body. I will.
I'll inject the, the chemicals.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Sure.

I'll give you my card.

Perfect.

I already have the chemicals.

Okay.

You already have the chemicals.

So you,

so that was a scheme.

Wait.

So you were trying to give me your old chemicals just so that you could

get a new batch for yourself.

No,

I was actually saying I had big cats card.

Oh,

okay.

So he already bought the chemicals.

All right.

Well,

bring the chemicals. I want to see the chemicals.
I'll take the chemicals chemicals i will also take the chemicals so that i don't get an injured elbow big cat's gonna match preventive preventive energy or uh uh fuck i'm it's it's too late medicine there it is before we get to hot seat cool throne quick word from our friends at cross country mortgage ccm listens, and communicates throughout the entire loan process. Provide more loan options tailored to your financial capabilities with Cross Country Mortgage.
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Hot seat, cool thrown. Henry.
Hey. Hey, welcome back.
Thanks for having me. What'd you think of Batgirl's cow? Terrible.
Terrible. It was not a cow.
Shoot it. He just said the word moo.
You've got a nice tan going on right now. Thank you.
Yeah, I was enjoying some lights at the, as one does. Yeah.
But my hot seat is Jay Monahan. Oh, okay.
PGA Tour Commissioner. They're holding an all-hands meeting, all the PGA players.
Can you explain, as a corporate entity, what does all-hands mean? Yeah. Is this a circle back, or is this a put a pin in it? I think this is like everyone just says their opinion, and then they say we're going to circle circle back and then nothing probably really brainstorm got it but but i think tiger showing up and people but i don't people are acting like that's the biggest deal in the world they're like oh my god uh tiger's gonna be there i think that is the biggest deal in the world do you do you hear these guys talk about tiger i know they're obsessed with him but like what is he gonna do tiger could right now say i am, I am taking over the PGA Tour.
It is now my tour. I am commissioner.
And there wouldn't even be a voting process. He could just say that, and everybody would be like, yes, Tiger, you are king of golf.
He's probably going to sit in front of everyone and be like, look at me. All you got to do is win 15 majors, and you'll make a ton of money.
Yeah. Is that simple? I'm a perfect test case for why the PGA Tour is the best.
The more I think about it, though, Tiger could be an advocate of the Live Tour because he doesn't like women near his car. We know that.
That's true. He's had issues in the past, so there's some common ground.
Doesn't like cars in general. Doesn't like cars in general.
Nobody should drive. Yes, yes, yeah.
Maybe Tiger on the board of Tesla. Yeah.
That would actually be a perfect fit. But yeah, he's going to like Tiger's going to rally the troops.
Tiger's going to get everyone on the same page. That's why I said Jay the Monahan was on the hot seat.
Like, do you think it's going to be rally the troops against Jay? No. I don't know anything about Jay Monahan, but I do know that.
But I feel like a lot of I feel like there's a lot of I feel like a lot of the players have had to talk about the live when they don't want to talk about the live. They just want to play golf.
They're not doing it. But I think they probably do have issues with him because of how he's handled the situation, which has made them have to handle the situation.
A perfect solution. This is what should have happened from the very beginning.
Jay Monaghan made it his business to kick people off the tour If they played in another organization's event Which is kind of badass to be like you're off the tour Yeah it is awesome but he also overplayed his hand Yeah of course And everyone's like yeah okay you know what You know what's better than winning the Fortnite challenge Is getting a hundred million dollars guaranteed So Jay Monahan just needs to be like Listen I fucked this one up I'm firing myself and we're going to put like whatever hairpiece and glasses that you need to take my position and we're going to switch it up and if you play on the live tour you can also play on the PGA tour that's what is going to happen and it's a classic case of really overplaying your hand and thinking that you had all the leverage in the world when you actually had zero yeah but Tiger's going to good for Jay Moynihan. Tiger is definitely his ace in the hole where he can be like, hey, Tiger's here.
Let's all – because Tiger's very pro-PGA Tour. He turned down $900 million or whatever.
So, you know, getting everyone – he's important for this entire – just as important as like Rory being outspoken. They need guys to be like, hey, we're not going.
You know, boost everyone up. Yeah, I feel like you think this is like rory being outspoken they need they need guys to be like hey we're not going you know boost everyone up yeah i feel like you're you think this is like in conjunction with the pga yeah not players against the pga not against them but like more frustrated with the current yeah they're probably gonna be like pay us more and they're like we're gonna try to figure out how to pay you in the travel did you see like there's all there was all the people, all the lower tier players that are like trying to make the cut.

Like there's the travel where it's like they're going from like the travel schedule makes no sense where they have to go from like Arizona to like.

No, what the PGA Tour is going to do back to California is they're going to put in guaranteed like appearance feed money where if you show up, you get paid.

Even if you don't don't make the cut or if you don't, you know, that's really the big thing is that guys are like, why wouldn't I go take $100 million and have it guaranteed versus having to fight and scratch for every single dollar on the PGA Tour every week? If you're in the top 50 or something like that, they'll guarantee money. Have some reward system in place like that.
The bottom line is they can't just keep going on and losing people to the Live tour because that's not sustainable for them. Yeah.
We'll see. And then my cool throne, SOS Cooling and Heating.
Yeah. NIL deal.
The coldest throne. The coldest throne.
That's good, Billy. Nice.
Yeah. That's a good one.
That's why it should have been mine. Damn.
Should have won first. So SOS Cooling and Heating is a cooling and heating company.
They did an NIL deal with the Coldest Crawford, and it's one of probably the best NIL deal commercials that's come out yet because it's obviously based around your house being the Coldest. Yes.
I thought Robert Griffin had a good reaction to it. He said somebody's going to start naming their kid like DeRolls Royce, just hoping so that when they get to college,

they'll get a free Rolls Royce out of it.

Not a bad idea.

I actually-

DeFerrari.

DeLexis is kind of a good name.

DeLexis?

DeLexis is like a name that I wouldn't-

DeLexis is already pregnant.

Yeah.

She's not even born yet.

But DeLexis, I like DeLexis.

DeLexis.

DeLexis has three types of hepatitis and two types of herpes.

Dilexus.

I'm down for Dilexus.

Okay.

It's my cool throne.

All right.

Good job.

Good job.

Great job.

Great job.

Hot seat, cool throne.

My hot seat is LeVar Ball because there's a new sports dad in town,

Fernando Tatis.

Yes.

He responded to his son, Fernando Tatis Jr.

That's wild.

Getting suspended for steroids.

He said it was a mistake that could have been handled differently. Destroy the image of a player for such a small thing for a situation like this is a catastrophe not just for Tatis Jr., but for all baseball.
There's millions of fans that will stop watching baseball. Yeah, millions.
Millions. Millions.
I, for one, will not watch baseball without Fernando Tatis Jr. in it.
How many people does he think watched the San Diego Padres?

Yeah, millions. Let's start there.

But he also, he went even more for his son.

He said they're going to start traveling around Dominican Republic

talking to young players about what happened, explaining their side.

And also, he said it was due to a bad haircut.

So he says that Tatis Jr. got a bad haircut and then got a fungus from the haircut yeah the ringworm yeah the ringworm and from the haircut and then he had to take the steroid uh that it clearly says that it's a steroid on the front he's gonna take his son on like a worldwide tour educating people like raising awareness about ringworm from bad haircuts yeah i'm just saying the steroid he did use is like an old ass steroid.
It's kind of like, oh, it's, it's been, it's, it's been a banned substance since they invented banned substance in, in the MLB in 2003, which is hilarious in its own right that that's when banned substances actually like came on the scene for MLB. But yeah, it's like a cold war steroid.
It's like a Russian in the 60s. It's the stuff that the East Germans used to use.
There's like way better stuff. And it says it on the box what...
This is a steroid. The banned substance is literally on the front of the box.
This is illegal. Do not take me if you're getting piss tested.
It's Trophobol? No, but that... No, that's the name of the product but then right underneath it it says claustible which is the banned substance and neomycene or whatever it actually isn't the same they just sound the same what the band the banned substance just sounds like the fungal medicine but they're not the same at all oh so he was saying that he thought that he ordered the fungal medicine and they accidentally sent him steroids.
That's a classic mistake. Yeah.
It could happen to anybody. Got it.
And then David Ortiz had a good take on it too. David Ortiz was like, they just shouldn't suspend him because he's so good at baseball and he's the face of the game.
I'm in for that. Yeah, actually, that makes more sense than what his own dad is doing.
David Ortiz is right. It's like if you're awesome at baseball, they should just cover it up.

Yeah.

They call that the Peyton Manning rule.

Yeah.

Come on.

Fernando Tatis said, yeah, I went to my wife by mistake.

And then my cool throne is.

That'd be funny if he got.

I don't think he's married.

That'd be funny if he got married just so that he could say.

Instead of a green card wedding.

Yeah.

It's just a player's card.

It's a steroids wedding.

My cool throne is NFL Blitz. Yeah.
You guys mine too you guys remember nfl blitz mine well hank took one of mine too hank took my golf one so then i had to audible to nfl blitz so now you have to audible yeah and billy's gonna have to audible too three audibles right holy shit this is this is a big mix-up but yeah nfl blitz is back they're they're selling it um without the it without delayed hits, though. What? Which is fucking stupid, isn't it? Stop it.
Yeah. It's basically selling porn with no nipples.
It's the NFL. Their statement on it is so funny.
The NFL said the NFL was warm to the idea because NFL Blitz was loved by fans. This is one of the reps from the actual arcade game.
But if they're going to re-release three of sports video games, most memorable arcade adaptations in a new package, they had to be cleaned up for modern sensibilities. They said, guys, if you want to do this, you've got to address these issues.
The NFL was like NFL Blitz. A video game is too violent.
The NFL told them that. Yeah.
So I don't know if the NFL knows why people played NFL Blitz. So that you could fucking swing them around and smash them into the ground.
It wasn't for the articles. On this one, I'm a big time like go woke, go broke guy.
Yeah. No one's going to buy NFL Blitz minus late hits.
That's the only reason. It's just like a worse Madden.
Although Madden's already. It's Tecmo.
Did you see the video, by the way, of Madden? They were like, it was like a meme going around. It was like Madden gamers, we just want you to fix the game and update some things.
And then it says Madden, and it's just a video of showing all the different ways that you can do the gritty for your celebration dance in Madden. That's incredible.
It's like you can customize it this way, that way. Yeah, I think that if anything, they should make a new video game that goes the other way, where you can play with like guns on the field.
You can play as Deshaun Watson. The last Boy Scout.
And you can like nut on somebody's face to avoid getting tackled. Like go way, way, way further in the opposite direction.
Yeah. People would buy that shit.

And if they had like Michael Bick in his offensive line, which is dogs. Yeah.
Or he's running with like dogs on a leash and attacking people. Yeah.
You're playing Hernandez is a weapon in that game. Yes.
Literally. Bi-week mode.
It's just GTA. Yeah.
Dude, I mean, this is the kind of game that I would a hundred million percent play. I think for as good as Madden and NBA 2K and MLB The Show or whatever, Blitz, Slugfest, and NBA Street were all better and more fun games.
And the fact that they don't want, like, it's weird that they're just like, we don't want kids to have that alternate option of like a fun game of football, a fun game of MLB where it's like you can just fucking beat each other up at first base. Yeah, first base.
The only thing that we wanted. I want to play as Richie Incognito career mode and tear somebody's arm off and then eat it like a turkey leg at a state fair on the field.
I want the dirtiest possible NFL game, and I will play that. They basically were like, hey, here, have a part of my cheesesteak but no steak.
What are we ordering for? Yeah, if we came out with an impossible part of my cheesesteak. Never.
I that's like what are we ordering exactly the impossible yeah if we came out with an impossible part of my cheese never i will never do that imagine playing as tim tebow and like you see an orphan in the stands and you go up and you circumcise it real quick yeah or a guy dying yeah you save his life he's about to he's about to fucking go up into heaven and you catch him and bring him back urban meyer going like career mode on urban meyer yeah you basically urban meyer on the sideline like the faster you finger the better finger, the better your team plays. Your kicker just missed a field goal.
Do you want to slit his throat or kick him in the teeth? Yes, yes. I mean, invent this game.
I don't think the NFL will sign off on it, but we'll just do generic colors. Yeah, we don't need the NFL to sign off on it.
Because part of the game will be Roger Goodell being a complete and utter dickhead. Like an actual robot that looks exactly like roger goodell will be the commissioner we'll just do like the chinese knockoffs like burt simpson you know what i mean we'll just have all the team names just be a little bit different that would be great denver boncos yeah there it is the what washington commanders yeah so now you're now now you're just doing sexual stuff yeah well i I mean, dude cells you gotta put asses in seats yeah all right my hot seat is um well now i gotta think but oh it's the yankees they suck they can't score at all it's fucking i said this on the rundown yesterday but the yankees are so bad i listened to short porch the other day just to hear the misery wow that's really bad yeah they were it was awesome i mean it was it's it's comical how about they had that clip last night which was so funny that garrett cole like trying to show everyone in the dugout how he would hit a home run because no one can hit anything i think they've scored five runs in like the last four games is that right joey gallo is just mashing and mashing what's the what is it right now how many runs have they scored i know they got shut they've been shut out two games in a row their last six games zero three two two zero zero and everyone's like john carlos stanton's gonna fix all this it's a slump yeah bad time for a slump bad time for a slump they've given themselves a big cushion they're still up 10 games yeah i mean the blue jays just keep losing as well.
Yeah, that's been tough to watch. Yeah, so there's panic buttons out, but it's definitely not being hit.
All right, and then my cool throne sticking in baseball is Shohei Otani. The Angels lost, like, one of the most comical games ever.
It's very hard to see in Major League Baseball, but the Angels had – it was 2-2 in the top of the ninth, and they got a guy in a rundown going to home, and just no one backed up the catcher, which is always so fucking funny. So the catcher threw it to third base, and then the guy just ran home.
But Shohei Otani has been incredible. He ranks right now third in strikeouts, sixth in ERA, ninth in batters average against, and then as a hitter, ninth in OPS, fifth in home runs.
He's incredible. And he's just completely lost by being on one of the more irrelevant franchises in all of the professional sports.
I want to send a clear message here to Commissioner whatever his name is, Manfred. If Shohei Otani gets busted for steroids, you shut your fucking mouth.
You don't say a word keep that. No, no, no.
You keep that the most under wraps. You actually, if that comes across your desk and you see it, you shoot yourself in the head.
No, no, no. So you make sure to not tell anybody.
If that comes across your desk, you're like, hey, angels, we found this. You have two options.
One, we say that he did this. Or two, you have to trade him so that we can just get him traded.
We need him somewhere else. Yeah, let's trade him market yeah i mean it's fucking it's like anaheim there's no reason that nobody cares about anaheim right like they are a big market kind of they stink dodgers are the are the big market i think that's probably the problem but i mean you've got the mets and the yankees yeah but those those have like history and everything yeah it's just new york is like a it's just big place it's just weird to me how nobody cares about the angels but it's just universally accepted we're not going to care about the yeah i mean i think there's just dodgers fans then people who live in orange county are angels fans and it's too nice out to care so it's crazy that they have two of the best players in major league baseball and no one gives a fuck about them uh okay billy go ahead i had to dig deep for this one thank God it happened 30 minutes ago.
There was a huge fight at Patriots camp, and people are asking, are the Patriots imploding? Oh, yeah. No, I've actually said that.
Billy, was it just Patriots camp? There were many good people on all sides, Hank? No, it was Patriots camp. But was it a mixed practice is what he's asking? Was it a mixed practice? Yeah.
Oh, no. New hot seats.
So the Patriots were fighting against him. Yeah, because Bill Belichick had that quote the other day where he was like, I like Matt Rule.
He's a football guy. He loves football.
All right. Other hot seat? Oh, no.
Wait. Oh, but all the ejected ones were Patriots.
Yeah, so the Patriots. Bill Belichick ejected his own team, of course.
Okay. New hot seat.
Back to school shopping.

What headline did you read?

I think Skip Bayless actually did say this could be the last year for Belichick.

He also went at Bronny Jr. last night.

That's awesome.

Credit to him.

He just extended his career by 25 years.

He hates the man's entire bloodline.

No one takes it.

When you're like, oh, I'm going to take a day off, Skip Bayless is like, no, I'm going

to go after LeBron's kids.

That's what he says.

I mean, you have to respect it. I have a hypothetical, too, that we can get into later, possibly.
Why don't we just do it right now? That's a hypothetical hypothetical. It was a hypothetical that I was thinking of last night, but it was from Draymond Green's wedding.
It was Rich Paul and then LeBron, Draymond, Jason Tatum, and Steph Curry. Uh-oh.
Could that starting five, including Rich Paul, still win the championship? Draymond, Steph, LeBron.

Jason Tatum.

Jason Tatum.

And Rich Paul.

I'd say yes.

Yeah, probably.

It'd be tough, actually.

I don't know.

It was a hypothetical where I was like, yeah, probably, but also.

Yeah, I don't know.

Can you play defense?

Actually, maybe not, just because they would just attack. And how is he going to guard anyone? But then they have LeBron.
And then you can play five on four on the other end on defense, right? And Draymond can't shoot, so you can play five on three. But you're still playing five on three against three first-team All-NBA players.
I think just having LeBron be able to collapse

and then kick out to Steph Curry would make it unfair.

Would those guys be on their respective teams still?

So it would be like a clone of them?

Yes.

Because I think the Warriors, like Draymond versus Draymond

and Steph versus Steph, I think maybe the Warriors could beat them.

Honestly, I think Steph would cook Steph.

Who would call LeBron?

LeBron. Other Warriors.
Anyone? Just throw out a name. Kevon Looney.
Lock him down. Fuck him up.
But then you get Clay on Rich Paul and you just... Yeah, I mean, so that was...
Yeah, it was definitely a hypothetical, but... It's like your knee-jerk reaction is yes.
Because Rich Paul is still a human being that can play basketball. Kenny? Yeah.
Did he? How? Like, really? Did he play on that? The LeBron high school team? No, they met. He was selling throwback jerseys, right? He's still a body.
And LeBron met him. Yeah, but my knee jerk reaction says yes, but then I'm thinking about it more.
Like, you actually can't. Like, if you put any of us on an NBA court, we wouldn't even be able to possess the ball.
They would just steal it. I could possess it for, like, a second.
Yeah, if you tried to pass it, they would be way bigger than you. I would be good at getting five seconds every time.
I think I could play a little defense. No, see, you actually believe it.
I'm saying mine as a joke, but Billy actually thinks that he could. Billy's like, yeah, I'd put the clamps on Draymond.
Billy, you got dunked on. I know, because I was playing too much defense.
Right. Because you were trying too hard.
You just get dunked on more. Way harder.
I know, but I have experience getting dunked on. Way harder.
No, I have good lateral movement. I actually think that team would beat any team in the NBA.
Yeah. I do.
What's their bench look like, though? Good question. Leon Rose.
That's your best five versus your best five. Yeah.
All other people from that wedding. Skip.
No, not Skip. Stephen A.
Shannon. Liz Shannon.
Liz Shannon. Yeah, that was, yeah.
Okay, good hypothetical. Hypothetical.
All right, go ahead, Billy. Back to school shopping.
Yeah, so there's a big debate online right now. You have to go shop for your classes.
Oh, I hate this. Okay, I never...
No, no, no, say it. No, no, I'm not mad at you.
It's the people. I'm digging deep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
Math, science, English, and history. Those four subjects.
If you have to buy a binder, folder, or notebook for those four subjects, which color do you assign to each subject? Okay. Red, blue, green, or yellow? This is green.
What? This is one of those debates that if you look at the replies, everyone has a different answer and you're like, yeah, of course everyone has a different answer because there's no answer. So it's like one of those Twitter perfect algorithms where everyone starts talking about it and debating it it's like no one like we're what are we debating no one everyone's different no i i've got my answer right but everyone had their answer okay so it's my answer science is green i agree with that science is green history is orange or red it's really sounds like you don't have an answer the only one it's it's the four primaries.
It's the three primaries plus three. Oh, so orange is the color.
So it's the red. So red.
What are the other two colors I have? Blue and yellow. Okay.
Math is blue. Yeah, I agree with that totally.
And then yellow is, what was the other one? English. English, yeah.
Yeah, I agree. There we go.
Boom. That's easy.
That's the answer. No, big cat.
What are you talking about? That's the correct way. Yellow is English.
I just nailed it. Because yellow is like the most feminine color.

There's absolutely correct order to put it in.

And the kids these days don't even have black.

You think English is blue far more?

Yeah.

No, blue is math.

Or red?

Isn't red?

No, no.

Red's history because history is written in blood.

No, blue is not history.

Blue is history.

History is written in blood.

Our planet is the ocean.

I hate this so much.

A majority of the history of this planet is the ocean.

Biology, green. No, you're talking about geography, Hank.
You're talking about geography is blue. Science is green because science is...
Yes, outdoors. Plants.
Science is written in blue. No, it's not.
History is blue. No, history.
History is written in blue, Hank. History is written in blue.
The sky is blue. Hank, history is written in blue.
Science has more blue. So is science.
Outdoors has way more blue than it does green. History is written on the water.
You ever heard about water, dude? No. No, but biology is the study of plants.
So that's green. Science.
There's fucking water everywhere. That's the earth, baby.
Well, then if you take a water class, then it can be blue. The sky isn't even blue technically.
It's just how we see it. Here we go.
You remember that debate we got into with Ryan Lochte of whether or not the water is blue or the pool is blue? blue yeah that's an all-time moment i just i saw it and i was just like i fucking hate i'm out no you gotta embrace debate on these on the dumber the conversation is the more passionately you have to care about this is one of those ones where like people are like people do regional things like this is called this and it's like yeah and then it's called this here and then it's called that here people like snow like isn't a big deal like someone from the south and And everyone argues about that. It's like, yeah.
And then it's called this here. And then it's called that here.
People like snow, like, isn't a big deal.

Like someone from the South.

And then everyone argues about that.

It's like, yeah, it depends on where you fucking grew up.

Math is blue because chalkboards are blue.

Okay.

I didn't, I don't really follow that one, but I've never seen a blue chalkboard.

History could be orange, but there was no orange option.

No, aren't they like grayish greenish?

Come out blue to me. All I know is.
What? No, they're whiteboards now. Yeah, I know they're whiteboards now.
I should think math should be red. No, no, no, no.
Math is written in blood. This chalkboards are not blue.
No, they're not. They're green.
They're green. Yeah, they're green or gray.
They're not even close to them. I had black ones, too.
But when the chalk gets involved, it gets bluish. i would end up having like one binder i didn't look at it yeah i just bunch of different shit in it that i could never find all i know is that you're going to anything in school you're a massive loser yeah yeah just a real thing of this first day anything you're no first day i'd be like all right this is the year i'm gonna be organized i got a sick ass i going to write in my agenda.
Now it's just changed to like, I'm doing it right now where I'm like, this is the year. I'm going to win all my NFL bets.
I got a system. So I'm just going to school every year.
I got a sick ass trapper keeper. This is the year that I'm completely organized.
This is my homework to be done and I put it here when I'm done with the homework. Then by week two, there's just like papers falling all over the place.
Yeah. If you ever wondered those kids who just shoved papers in their backpack yeah that's me what they're up to right now and podcast yeah i the only reason i clicked on this thing too was because it said like math was trending so i was like oh i hope this is one of those situations where nerd alert well no because i thought it was one of those dumb things where uh someone like doesn't know the order of operations and people are arguing about something that is very basic.

Pimdos, bro.

And then I clicked on it.

I was like, God damn it, I'm in hell.

No, listen, that's such a dumb debate

that I actually love it.

Yeah.

I just also just hate.

I shudder at the idea of school.

And also I have the correct take on it,

so that's always helpful.

Billy, next one.

Cool throne Hillary Clinton. She killed I have the correct take on it so that's always helpful.
Billy, next one. Cool throne Hillary Clinton.

She killed Freya the walrus.

Yeah, she did.

R.I.P. Freya the walrus.

Would that put her on the hot seat?

No, I guess she got away with it again.

What's the...

Walrus got shot.

And Hillary Clinton killed her?

First of all, Billy,

we don't know that it got shot. It definitely got shot.
So Freya the walrus is the new Harambe. Right.
Hillary didn't kill her. Billy was making joke about Hillary Clinton, but the story of Freya the walrus is that it was a walrus that was in this fjord in Norway, and it was like climbing on boats and shit, and everybody loved it.
All the people that lived there would go up and play with it and try to mess with it a little bit. And then the officials in Norway were like, yo, this walrus is getting too close to humans.
Please stop getting so close to it. The people didn't stop.
And so then the Norwegian officials, they just fucking killed the walrus. Yeah, no, I saw a story, but I didn't.
Is there something I'm missing? Just Hillary Clinton kills people? That's the joke that Billy was making. Got it.
It's, yeah. But Freya the walrus was fucking killed.
We don't know. It said she was euthanized, too.
Yeah. Which that probably just means that they shot it.
Well, they probably, yeah. They probably shot it with poison.
Or blew it up. Yeah, they probably, yeah.
Freya didn't hurt anybody. 3,000 pounds.
That's fucking massive. Freya.
Imagine Freya playing nose tackle. Actually.
You can't run on that. Exactly.
Fuck no. Freya couldn't get off the field after a play.
Yeah. Okay.
Jake. PFT, a little something on your nose.
I do? Yeah. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. What is it? Booger? Maybe.
Maybe soup. Booger? Jake, that was such an alpha move right there.
Yeah. In the middle.
You waited until your turn. No, I was trying to motion to you.
I didn't want to interrupt. I thought you were doing cocaine.
Has he had it the whole time? I noticed it like five minutes ago. What? Did I get it? Let me see.
Yeah. Shit.
Booger episode. So I did this entire episode with a booger.
the entire because i stopped you that's true fact thank you for your service fact check that's just unreal that's an unreal jake moment right there to wait till it's his turn and be like by the way before i get started you look like you guys were having a debate about colors like i didn't want to interrupt that yeah you can't interrupt you can't interrupt that very important debate uh hot seat, I think I talked about this a few months ago, but now it's finalized. The NBA Christmas schedule, it came out.
People are either happy or sad about it, but then you realize there's an elite NFL tripleheader the same day. And they did it the same.
What's the NBA Christmas day? Bucs, Celtics, Sixers, Knicks, Suns, Nuggets, Lakers, Mavs, Grizzlies, Warriors. Is that Bucs at Celtics? Yes.
But you have Dolph Packers. Yeah, no, they did it so that each market is fucked by the NFL.
I remember I tweeted that when the schedule came out. It's genius by the NFL.
Yeah, you have Green Bay, Miami, Broncos, Rams, and Bucs, Cardinals. That's a very good tripleheader.
Wait, so say the NBA again? Bucs, Celtics, Sixers, Knicks, Suns, Nuggets, Lakers, Mavs.ucks Cardinals that's a very good triple header wait so say the say the NBA again Bucks Celtics Sixers Knicks Suns Nuggets Lakers Mavs so Cardinals are playing Suns Packers are playing Bucks like they crisscross the Dolphins are playing and we aren't playing but yeah disrespect continues Rams in the Lakers yeah yeah they just fucked it's it's so great they just like oh here are your top teams that you're going to use for Christmas Day. And your biggest day.
Yeah. We're going to steal them.
NFL is king. Right.
Yeah. Do you think that anyone in the state of Wisconsin is going to be watching the Bucs over the Packers? No.
Right. Because it's a regular season game.
Right. It's going to be, what, week 15? Right.
This will be very important games. And they're high caliber teams.
NFL did it again throne big cat the bulls yeah this is teasing i don't like the honest says he is not ruling out down the line you never know maybe i play for chicago yeah no he's teasing me because i don't completely gone yeah yeah i feel like i still have a booger right now no you're good i honest maybe Giannis is teasing. There's no chance he's going to play for the Bulls.

He's teasing.

I feel like the Bucs fan base and front office can't be happy with that comment.

I think they probably are because he's clearly teasing.

I'm being teased.

We're talking about it.

I don't like being teased like this.

Yeah.

It's not nice.

Very mean.

Giannis, fuck you.

PST's just picking his nose now.

Well, I'm fucking.

Jake has me struck. You don't have anything on it anymore.
But I feel like I I have one I feel like I didn't get all of it No you're good Okay let's get to Ryan Russell Extra long We do a Mount Rushmore with him We catch up with him He's in studio Before we do that PFT you got a quick word For one of our sponsors Yeah one of our Favorite sponsors in the world Because it's one that we eat And we consume all the time and that we made part of my cheesesteak. It's a delivery and pickup only restaurant brand bringing you craveable cheesesteaks and loaded fries.
I'm making a very, very delicious cheesesteak soup tonight. How about that? Cheesesteak soup.
Official. Official cheesesteak soup.
It's the official food. It's not official, but I'm saying you were talking about possibly doing it earlier,

but now that you said it on the podcast, it's official.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Check out the IG.

Follow me on all social media platforms to watch my cheesesteak soup.

It is delicious, though.

We had part of my cheesesteak on Sunday except for Jake, and we all loved it.

It was fantastic.

What, Jake?

Jake didn't have any.

Oh, you didn't have any?

There weren't enough. Oh, yeah.
I took one for the team. So you're lying about lying.
I mean, there weren't enough. There were other tangled web.
No, there were extra. I offered one to Briscilla.
I offered one to Briscilla. There were extra.
The guests should take presents. But he didn't want one because he had already eaten dinner.
Yeah. So there was a strict diet.

Okay.

Lean protein only.

All right. But Jake is going to have one next Sunday.

Right, Jake?

Of course.

You're going to have one next Sunday.

He's going to have two.

He said he's going to have two.

He's going to have two.

We also were talking earlier about doing a Billy food challenge,

but just timing it and trying to see if he can ever.

We got to figure out what the time is of how fast he could eat one.

I think I already did that. I think the six inches I did in a minute and five seconds.
Yeah. Okay.
So we got to do another one. See how many you can eat in 10 minutes.
How about that? And that will be the official Billy record. And anybody that beats the Billy record, Billy will give you a massage.
So part of my cheesesteak is now available in hundreds of select locations nationwide with new locations being added every single week. They've got 6-inch and 12-inch classic cheesesteaks, chipotle cheesesteaks, buffalo chicken cheesesteaks, plus loaded fries and dessert brownie bites.
Get lunch, dinner, or late night delivery, and we are open seven days a week. Go to partofmycheesesteak.com to learn more.
Order now on DoorDash, Uber Eats, Postmates, or Grubhub. Part of my cheesesteak.com to learn more order now on door dash uber eats postmates or grubhub part of my cheesesteak now here's ron rusillo okay we now have uh one of our favorite guests ever a good friend treat just a real treat to have him in studio what's the record what what a most recurring guest probably lenny dykstra yeah no wait i think someone actually did the math i think whitney was number one and like maybe mike portnoy was number two it was something like that but you're up there you are someone has to re re-pull it i think you're up there it is ryan rusillo he is in studio you guys asked me first i was going to be on the first one ever and then ESPN said no.
Oh yeah, that's right.

And then Rachel Nichols didn't ask for permission and just

was on it like three weeks later. Yeah, you don't

think about that. No, but Monty did it too.

They didn't say anything to him.

No, I think about that at all because I remember you guys

like hey, we're starting up a podcast because we're

all out in the Super Bowl. We're like, we want to have you on first.

I was like, oh, that's awesome. Great.
And then I asked

one person. They were like, oh yeah, that'll be cool.
No problem.

And then it made the rounds and they're like, no, he absolutely can't do that. And then Chris Long was the first guest.
Yeah. Yeah.
Which is actually better. It would be a cool thing to say.
Like if I were, you know, on campus somewhere, I get maybe shirts made. But it was also it was also the worst interview.
It was the worst interview we ever did because we we thought we were so funny. that we were going to do.
We were like, oh, yeah, PTI does five good minutes.

Let's do four good minutes. Yeah, nobody's come up with that joke.
We were literally playing him off before we even asked him a question. It was so bad.
We're like, yeah, maybe we don't do that. You know what would be a good segment to do at some point with you? Maybe you you can remember some right now, but like the worst segments that you ever thought of for your own podcast.
Yeah. I'm look, the radio show would be way more fun to try to figure out.
Cause I remember forever post Van Pelt, Canel and I, like my thing with radio shows or podcasts is always like, you want to find a way to finish strong. You want to have an element that people are kind of looking forward to.
And I always feel like with radio shows, we'd be like, okay, there's just a segment of the 12. I want to get the fuck out of here.
That was the segment. The radio, like almost local, nationally, everywhere I would listen to the end of radio shows, I'm like, the worst segment is always that last one.
So try to fix it. And Scott and I did some different stuff, and it kind of just worked.
And then Danny and I were constantly trying different stuff, and it was horrible. We like went, went 0 for 12 on them.
Like, they just weren't working. Do you ever think about bringing back Who's the Jerk with Saruti and Kyle? How would that play? See, the best part about the Who's the Jerk thing.
For people who don't know, they did one of the funniest clips of all time. I'm very proud of that and rusillo and stanford steve they did an entire segment that was who's the jerk and they would basically just name something that someone in the room does like i remember when you're like uh it was it steve litters all the time yeah yeah so it was just so it was just basically everyone ripping each other for being an asshole.

I mean, obviously, I can do two different versions of this, and there's always one that's extremely long.

But I was in this mode of trying to prove to people that I thought I was good not only as a host, but on the creative side of things.

And I was always trying to figure out, like, okay, how can we do something?

Like, let's keep trying to do things, and if we fail, it doesn't – like, it's radio.

You should fail a million times. You should have a ton of bad ideas you know it's every day you're doing 15 you're doing 15 hours a week so i remember we were at a&m for the rematch mansell against bama the year after they'd gone to tuscaloosa to beat him and scott and i did a show and then i was also doing college game day radio and i remember i don't know we're some like fucking restaurant and we're in the parking lot i go i have this idea and i go it's gonna be really hard to explain i go but we're all friends right we're all friends and we travel a lot like i'm with steve i was with stanford steve more than any other person for like a six year his wife is probably ranked ahead of me for him right for me it was steve and so i go i think it would be really fun if we just call each other out for every shitty thing that we have about us and then do it for the audience and just let the kind of questions fly.
And we set it up as like a question thing of like, do you do this or why do you do this or what do you think of these things? And no one got it. Right.
Everybody's immediately like, what are you talking about? It's the airing of grievances. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like, who's the jerk? jerk but it wasn't necessarily that it was just trying to come to some conclusion that also worked for the audience and so then i explained it to my father and he was like that's one of the worst ideas you've ever had because you know it's kind of like in college one time we decided to just say and i think i've shared this with you before but one day seven or eight of us in a room were like alright let's all tell each person what we say about them behind their back.
I love it. This is also my buddy who you've met in Chicago he does the trick at bachelor parties when we're all drunk and he takes out like a big piece of paper he's like the bachelor rank us as friends.
I love that. It's the most awkward thing ever.
It's so funny. I love it because I think it just keeps us all sharp we need more of that kind of stuff and so that was by the way a horrible idea so my dad was like look you know you and you don't necessarily love being fucked with and he's like scott doesn't exactly seem like a guy who loves to be fucked with and he's like stan for steve kind of just rolls with punches doesn't give a shit as much he's like if you do this and you do it live on the air where you start basically being like, why do you do this? Or what do you, like, it's going to be really bad.
So then I was, like, off the table. And then I kind of brought it back again.
And Scott's like, why do you want to do this? Do I do stuff that you guys want? Like, then it started turning into, like, an insecure thing. Right, yeah.
So I go, all right, fuck it. And then somebody else was like, hey, let's change it this way.
And then I got really weird about it. And scott's like hey it's fucking who's the jerk this isn't the mona lisa like relax right creative guy and so then we did it and it was hilarious like stanford c was like who hates you more men or women ryan yeah and you still was like wow that's deep i was like that's a tough one yeah and i was like probably at first men longer term women and then uh scott we i forget we were like what is it what is it about you like when you travel and it isn't going your way do you think you're fun to hang out with or something i don't remember it word for word and then the stanford steve one i just straight up was like why do you litter so great and you told the story Like he like he just throws shit outside of the car.
Is he like throwing a cup out of the window like a full styrofoam cup? I think littering is like one of the most fucked up things you can do. I don't know why because it's super solvable.
Right. Just keep it in your car for a little bit longer.
There's going to be a trash can at some point. I promise you.
They have them everywhere. Yeah.
A lot of places. A lot of states have.
He got a lot of blowback. He said that he had a lot of people being like, dude, you litter? Because we were in the car for game day, and he always drove.
And I think he threw a piece of gum in and then just took the wrapper and rolled the window down. And I was like, what the fuck? That's such old school littering.

That's like 1970s littering.

Yeah, seriously.

I was like, that's like back of the school bus.

Like I threw something out the window.

And I'm like, you actively, it took you more effort to litter

than it would have to just throw it on the fucking floor.

Like, are you serious?

It probably feels cool, though, to like throw something big out of a window.

I would imagine.

It's like Ron Burgundy throwing a burrito out the window.

Yeah, just like throwing a whole bag of combos out the window.

And I was just so like, what the fuck?

I'm imagine. It's like Ron Burgundy throwing a burrito out of a window.
Yeah, just like throwing a whole bag of combos out the window. And I was just so like, what the fuck? Like I'm friends with a guy that does this.
And of all the other stuff that we all do that we would probably like to be better at or just eliminate from our game in general. But yeah, he doesn't litter anymore now.
But you're like the who's a jerk is genius because it is true. Like when you're together'll be on trips and stuff and people always ask like do you guys ever get in fights and we actually like honestly have never gotten in a real fight you guys have never gotten in a fight not a real fight but what will happen crazy what will happen is and it happens every trip where it's like we'll be at the end of the trip and we'll just be sitting in an uber all the silent because we're like yeah it's time for us to all just be alone for a minute but we have that level of awareness where we know that if we're going to talk to each other we're going to we're going to get into like little minor little arguments that'll turn into something bigger so our way to get around that is to just bring billy around yeah and that way we get all of our aggression out on him and so that way it's like me and big cat are still a team right Right.
We have Billy to shit on. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that's very healthy.
I have never. Yeah.
He seems to fill the Mario Chalmers role. Yeah.
Yeah. He is on the show.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's pretty crazy. You guys have never fought.
It's funny. Cause I was just out in the hallway talking to one of the guys about SVP and Rosillo.
And he, and I, you know, said the funny thing about that show was like a lot of people think I got the show because I was his friend and he just liked me on the air we weren't friends at all and then we became friends because of the show and to be in a room with a guy four hours every day for six years we didn't have five fights and yeah or maybe the three or four that we had we had we had two that were pretty good uh they're both definitely my fault because I was like you know sort of being like you know that was my own shit of being insecure of being there and kind of having this platform and knowing nobody wanted me to have it and you know sometimes it would just build up but i always feel great like i've seen radio shows where guys fucking hate each other oh yeah i mean like at the end like mike at the end that 30 for 30 they're like they literally did not speak to each other unless it was on air they would sit down in silence and then the light would would turn on. They would talk, do a show, and then walk away in silence, which is nuts.

That's nuts to me.

Like that's such a level of, and I, I, I, wait, did I say Mike and Mike?

Yeah.

Oh, I, I didn't mean Mike and Mike, but also them.

Yeah.

Cause I was kind of like, there's a 30 for 30 for Mike and Mike.

Mike and the mad dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They, they were Mike and the dog.

Yeah.

No, there was a story that came out.

Mike and Mike, Mike, I think we're the same.

Mike and Mike wouldn't talk to each other.

Yes.

So,

I'm going to go. for Mike and Mike.
Mike and the Mad Dog. Yeah, yeah.
They were... Mike and the Dog.
Yeah. There was a story that came out.
But Mike and the Mike, Mike, I think, were the same. Mike and Mike wouldn't talk to each other.
Yes, yes. So both.
So I guess the key is to just not have a Mike. That's a good way.
If you're a program director listening right now, don't hire anybody named Mike. I've had fights with Hank, but I've never...
And I think PFT has as well, but I think PFT and I always have a good understanding of we're in it together. We are.
It's a relationship, man. I mean, it really is.
I mean, without the sex, usually for most shows. Well, that's why we have Batgirl.
So people thought that me and PFT were maybe a little too homosexual. We kiss every year on his birthday.
When it turns into my birthday, we kiss. But that's just something that's more of a ritual.
That's a tradition. There's no sexual intention behind it.
Isn't it cool when people do inside jokes in your face? I can't even explain Batgirl. I don't even know what to say anymore.
I saw some of the Batgirl stuff and I just kind of gave up. I don't think I know what they're I don't know what you're doing you'd be dumber if you found out the origin behind it so just roll with it I did appreciate reading some of the stuff because it was like why is it always the female heroes and it was like is that what it is I don't think that's what it is DC just ate 90 million because they're like you know what I hate to be that guy but it sounded that guy, but it sounded like a tax motivation.
Yeah, let's just not let the broad on the big screen. Yes.
All right, so you were just- Every time I say something, he looks around like, oh my God. I got you.
I saved you. No, no.
I know a guy who actually uses the word broad. And I'm like- Jim Florentine? But I just feel like, do you- He'd be like, hey, are any broads out tonight? Where the dames at?

That's like Pete Rose's quote.

Did you see that the other day?

I didn't.

A reporter asked, like, he went out for the Phillies because it was like the 50 year anniversary or whatever it was.

And they're like, a reporter was like, hey, are you going to comment about the sexual misconduct allegations against you?

And he's like, I'm here for the Phillies.

I'm here to like celebrate this. So why don't you like mind your own business babe he said babe what do you think you were going to get from pete rose uh nothing i never expect anything from him i i always you know i don't know we doing pete rose this is august yeah i tell you what let's ask rusillo all the questions that we get asked yeah but we'll just redirect them towards him.
Who's the best interview you've ever had, Ryan?

You know what?

Actually, I shared this on the podcast,

but the Bill Russell interview that I did in the first year I was ever on the air

was one of the coolest things I've ever done because I was nervous as shit.

I couldn't believe it.

We only got him because we were promoting some other thing that his handler was doing.

So he never did anything.

Right.

And so really nervous. I'm doing a morning show with a couple other guys in their 20s.
We barely have any hours under our belts doing this radio show. And somehow we end up with him in the interview, which was crazy to begin with.
And as soon as the host introduced him, he stopped us and interrupted us. And we're like, fuck.
This is going to suck. He's going to be like, who are these idiots? He's going to be Korean.
And he goes, if you're gonna introduce me uh instead of Hall of Famer an 11-time champion I would appreciate it if you introduced me and be like oh no as captain of the Boston Celtics and I was like oh hell yes yeah so that one's always because it was so early and it was a big deal and I thought you're gonna say Brandon Marshall well the other one I'm probably most proud of that Brandon Marshall interview. For those that don't know, we were pitched Brandon Marshall the receiver.
It was confirmed by everybody. We were good to go.
I open up the Zoom, and I'm like, that's not Brandon Marshall. But it was.
But it was, but it wasn't. And I'm immediately double-checking an email, and I'm going, what the fuck are you going to do right now? Who is this? And I'm like, what's up, man? And he's like, Hey, how's it going? And I was like, all right, cool.
And I'm like, I can't go on the zoom chat and I'm trying to like message Rudy being like, or Kyle. I think it was just Kyle at that point.
And I was like, what? And so it's the first question you go back. It's, we left it up.
Cause I was like, fuck it. I was like, what's up, man? What have you been doing? Like hoping to find some sort of common ground with his answer of what he's been doing.
Yeah, because I'm trying to like, why would I have a different Brandon Marshall that he would think he's like, hey, I'm doing one of these sports podcasts tomorrow. Like why does he think this is okay? Right.
If this isn't like something's going on. And then I actually did remember.
I'm like, oh, I think he's that Denver guy their yeah yeah I like their linebackers that year but I still I mean you guys know how this is like if you let your head get fucked with in the process you can make it way worse oh yeah so now I'm like you may think it's the Broncos linebacker but now you're so screwed up because you can't believe that somebody confirmed this and then as he was answering I'm checking and I was like, no, it's actually the receivers confirmed on the email from the person. So by the third question, I finally, like, piece it together.
And then Kyle was like, what do you want to do with that interview? And I go, leave it up, and then we'll tell everybody what happened. Yeah, it was great.
I was actually proud of myself. Yes.
Yeah. Yes.
What else do we get? Oh, what's Dave Portnoy like in real life?

Is he the same guy or teddy bear? I haven't hung out with Dave

in a long time, but I met Dave

with

McShay. So I had McShay in studio

in 03 because I was reading

all of his War Room stuff when he was still with Sporting News.

So we were about the same age.

We were both living in Boston. McShay

and I pretty quickly hit it off, and then he came up to the studio to do some in studio stuff with us and he brought portnoy and he's like hey this is my buddy dave and i was like hey what's up dude and he's like yeah i do varsity sports i was like oh that pamphlet you guys hand out he's like well it's not a pamphlet it's like immediately he was all seized up like fuck this guy guy. And then they actually did some radio stuff from the place, which is another old story.
So I've actually known. I've known.
I mean, I'm obviously a lot closer with Billy. Yeah.
How much does Big Cat make? Good question. You know what's cool for you guys is nobody really has any idea.

No.

At ESPN, we all knew what every single one of us made.

I remember one time somebody asked me, like, what's your goal?

I go, I want to walk to the cafeteria at ESPN and have every other on-air person

motherfuck my contract.

Yep.

I was like, that's my goal at this company.

I want everyone here in the salad bar to be nice to me.

And then when I walk away, I'd be like, I can't fucking believe what they signed Russillo for.

Never happened.

Never happened.

Who was that one guy at ESPN?

Because I think we get it mixed up occasionally.

Was it Pullian or was it Mac Brown that used to go to all the little kiosks where they'd sell candy?

He thought it was free.

And he thought it was free the whole time.

Nobody ever stopped him.

He would just take candy bars?

I believe I'm to blame for that mix up because I think I've told it both ways. Okay.
Maybe it's both of them. I wouldn't be shocked.
I wouldn't be shocked if Lou Holtz was in the mix on that one, too. Yeah.
Because all the stuff was just there, but it was monitored by cameras. And then somebody realized either Mac or Pullian.
I think it might have been Mac. I think Pullian's got bigger.
He's got more room in his pants. He used to wear those giant khakis.

Pullian was one of my favorite guys ever.

When we did an ESPN draft of putting together your best seven-on-seven team

of all the guys that played quarterback, receiver, whatever, O-line,

and then we talked Pullian into doing it with us for two segments,

it's the most annoyed I've ever seen anyone ever for a radio interview.

Because we'd be like, Canel's like, hey, I'm still on the board and pulling be like no that's fucking incredible what other questions do you guys get all the time um how much do you make per episode yeah we so that's the thing yeah that's the thing I don't see your salaries I always see this episode well we told people i just told people that people believe it i signed a new contract in june and congratulations thank you i get by the way you didn't tweet out anything about that well i did i normal i addressed

it on the street yeah it's pretty standard like i didn't want i didn't want to put anything out

about it but then i found out that somebody was snooping around they were going to write an

article so i said okay i'll just say it on here and we'll get the clicks for it so wait you said

how much you made on the podcast no well i do yeah i make three bored apes per episode yeah

Thank you. going to write an article so i said okay i'll just say it on here and we'll get the clicks for it so wait you said how much you made on the podcast no well i do yeah i make three bored apes per episode yeah and then i get uh a slurp juice to go along with that which you can then use to create a new ape i'm still doing this 75 000 an episode yeah that sounds saying usd currency yeah but that's 85 now yeah because inflation thanks biden no how think he's doing as a job Biden I'll just say this and I really wish I'd handled it better a couple years ago I love you so much because we could ask a question a joke and you'll be like well yeah I'll give you an answer I don't like any politicians I really don't like I think something's wrong with you if want to be big i agree and so if i am critical of like a republican some would be like oh typical fucking espn whatever like when i got arrested fox news was so fired up because they're like shithead liberal espn guy i was like wait a minute is that's what's happening to me like fox news is excited because of this And then on the other side, like I'll see other dumb shit that is left.

And I'm like, that's fucking stupid too. So I just, I'm not a huge fan.
Cause you know, here's like, this is actually something I've talked about before, but like there's a huge lesson in the Sam Hinkie run with the Sixers. All right, let's go.
I like this. We are talked to in the way that we apparently prefer to be talked to.
Yep. All right? And so when you see politicians searching for the most vanilla answer that's like the least offensive to either polar, you know, like, you're like, yeah, we can say, like, we don't like to be talked this way, but we actually do want to be talked to this way.
Yeah. So where Hinckley was unap unapologetic and he's like yeah i have fucking guys that we could cut from the g league playing on this team like whenever anybody does like would kentucky beat i think a best kentucky team with like five lottery picks would have beaten one of those tanking sixers teams because they had they had one point like eight guys in the rosters that had never played more than 500 nba minutes and since he was so unapologetic about it and didn't do like the Carlos Boozer one-year 13 million

that other teams had done or put guys out of position,

he was just like, I'm making sure I'm giving myself the best chance.

And he didn't massage the message at all,

that that to me is always this really important message

that because he didn't play the game with us,

we got more mad at him.

He definitely could have done it and done it a different way,

been better with the media, been more open,

pretended he wasn't really doing it, even though everybody,

I think it's Yeah, but if they told us how they really felt about shit, we would lose our minds. So, you know, I don't, whenever anybody jokes about the political shit, you know, post everything that happened, I did a bad job a couple years ago, I would be like, I'd love to talk about it, but there's no point.
There's no point, really. Yeah, no, because everyone just assumes, yeah.
And look, like, when I was at first, when I first was ESPN, so that's 06, there was a sign-up in the radio department that said, if what you're talking about is not interesting to an 18- to 45-year-old male, stop talking about it. Dudes rock.
All right? And, you know, for the old rules, it's like, why would you talk about religion on your sports talk show? Why would you talk about politics on your sports? Now, people could say, hey, this is more important. This is more important than sports.
Well, no shit. All of this stuff is more important than sports.
Right. But you know what? Like they would you talk about politics and sports now people could say hey this is more important this is more important than sports well no shit all of this stuff is more important than sports right but you know what like they don't talk about sex trafficking on msnbc right because that shows about money yeah those shows are about finances and all this other stuff is it as important as some of these horrible things that happen inside of course it isn't but that's not what the job is so that's where i think like again this is sort of to a much bigger deal.
I'd love to talk about some of the stuff, but I know I can't win no matter what I do. And now I know I've been kind of placed in the box anyway.
But you're right. The important part, things will happen in the world and people will be like, why didn't you talk about this on the show? And it's like, well, I think people come to the show to hear non-serious stuff because everything is more serious than sports.
Yeah. If you tell me this is more, I would agree with you every time.
All of these things are more important than sports, but it's not, it's not really, I don't know. Look, everybody can do the job however they want to do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So Biden, what? B plus? What are we saying here? I did have a guy DM me the other day.
He was like, how come you guys haven't addressed Hunter Biden's laptop? Well, okay. Sounds like that's all you want to hear anybody talk about all the time.
And then you go check out their timeline, and it's just a bunch of retweets about Hunter Biden's laptop. I think you know way more than I do.
To me, it would be like if I like somebody how they do their sports show or whatever, and then I found out about their politics, I don't know. Would I be like, oh, my God? But people get really, really passionate about it, which I completely understand.
But I don't really know. I think I've kind of learned a little bit more the last couple years.
Does that all happen? I'd be like, oh, I've got this segment in my head. I've got this 10 minutes, and it'll be killer.
I'm like, I just don't know if there are that this right i feel like it's even the scope is narrowed even further than if it's not interesting to an 18 to 45 year old male don't talk about now it's like if it's not about nfl football don't talk about it because it can be march it can be april it can be any month and it's like well if you just power rank quarterbacks in a certain division then that's going to do better ratings than anything else who won the draft for an entire month yeah is is that's a good question we'll get more clicks than nba and i know you love the nba but and i love the nba but no nfl drives nfl drives everything we're doing if you're not doing the nfl you know look it was very clear even at espn and even now like i probably well i'm not going to say probably i'll just be i like college football more than the NFL I'm starting every Monday show with the NFL yeah it just doesn't you know the joke used to be rather you do an average NFL segment on ESPN radio than than a really great NBA one yeah the NBA is kind of this weird thing where it lives in this this awareness that's probably I mean the NBA Twitter thing is like perfect that exists on Twitter because in the moment it can feel like it's the most important thing that's happening and you're like yeah but this isn't always a really good reflection of what actually and then you see the top 50 most watched games obviously i don't really care it was literally like game six of the nba finals was like 48 yeah yeah okay that makes sense like monday night football week 12 was a top 50 watch thing just because that's what people do i do think the way they're packaged you know plays into that a little bit more too you know just the limited uh limited product i guess would be the best way to go ahead and talk about it but yeah i i mean i think some of the nba stuff that's fun because it's all soap opera which is perfect for what we do i don't know that the nfl has as much of that but it just it's never really seemed to matter like you can look at all the numbers you can look at all of it and it's all soap opera-y, which is perfect for what we do. I don't know that the NFL has as much of that, but it just never really seemed to matter.
You can look at all the numbers. You can look at all of it, and it's like, hey, hammer it, hammer it, hammer it, as much as you can do NFL.
I'd probably rather talk about all the bullshit with college football because I just think it's a little bit more fun. Yeah, it is.
The rankings, as much as everybody freaks out about it. It's fun.
I have fun trying to project like, oh, what would happen if this or that, or how's the committee going to feel? Or wow, the committee hates this or they like this. Like that to me is a little bit more of the NBA soap opera thing.
One of my favorite things to do, and it sucks because on Twitter now, if you like argue on Twitter, it's you're mad. But one of my, like I look forward to it every year is just on Monday or Tuesday getting on Twitter and just firing off college football takes and letting people argue about it.

And going back and forth for 10 tweets with some dude about

some team's schedule. Because it's fun.
I like

doing it. You like arguing with somebody you don't know

about college football?

It's one of my favorite things to do.

It's so much fun.

Because it's like you'll never agree, but it's fun to do.

I'm in. I'm going to do mine on Thursdays.

I'm going to undercut you. Just fucking do it.
where are we at with chris paul people want to know because like it's you know you had a you you you had a summer to go away i feel really good yeah armed with the latest information i feel really good covid i didn't say it what is what is that latest information the whole team had COVID. Did he give the whole team COVID?

Well, he's a great assist man.

How many points do you think COVID is worth?

Because they lost by 40.

19?

Yeah.

COVID 2020 COVID or 2022 COVID?

Yeah, 2022 COVID.

How many?

Not as many as 2020.

Yeah, no, this COVID is not.

I'd say at the onset, it's worth 40 points.

Could 2022 COVID play in 2020? It was a different league. 2020 was playing against grandmothers and grandfathers.
Assistant plumbers. I want to ask you something.
Okay. Would you rather be built different or one of one? Oh, good question.
Can I do a third option? Can I be him? Could you lead first take with that? What about that dude? Yeah. I'd like to be him.
I'd like to be him. Are those the four one seeds that dude well i feel like that dude and him are a little overlappy i think we could come up with a fourth built different one of one him or yeah he is have a dog in you yeah that's hot right now it's hot now i don't think it's a long-term one seed flash of the pan because here's the thing like a lot of people throw around well you can say goat is the fourth one because people throw away throw around everything.
No, that was actually a segment that did work on the radio show that Canel deserved more credit for. It was this week's.
It was Goat of the Week. And everybody like, you know, somebody tweeted goat at me on my birthday.
And I was like, eh, take it easy. I'm doing all right.
Well, that's also tricky because you could, if you talk to somebody that's older than, let's say, 45, when they hear goat, they think, oh, bad. That's like somebody that fucks something up.
Yeah, that's good. That's good.
Because when I think about one of one, that's getting thrown around a lot. Yeah, it is.
You're like, you know, you're 6'7", you're a pretty good scorer. Yeah.
There's a bunch. Like, the elephant man is one of one.
Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of one of ones.
I think I'd rather be built different. Because that implies that God specifically set some time aside when he's working on me.
He's like, okay, this is my passion right here. I'm going to make this guy exactly 5'8 and 1'8.
People like to throw around built different when they go to the gym at 5 a.m. That's built different.
I think he is him or being him is pretty strong right now i when you're here yeah no i think that's a really strong one seed i just don't know that fourth one if i'm super passionate about any of our options so yeah but yeah it's a really it's smart pft really good observation because it's it's the goat has been watered down the correct answer is secretariat yeah best horse of all time yeah best athlete of all time heart was bigger than everyone else 1999 sports century i was 36 the other day i watched secretariat's triple crown races oh really yeah i did how was that how was the rest of the day it was electric it was the best day of my life because that that third race that he had yeah incredible and then what you can actually do though with the triple crown is you can you can imagine what the other horses would have ran against him, like some of the other all-time greats.

I think the closest second would have been like a full second and a half behind Secretary.

It might have been American Pharoah.

American Pharoah was insane.

It was a great horse, yeah.

I saw American Pharoah at Breeders when he beat everyone.

This isn't a bit.

No, no.

You're doing this?

No, I did.

Yeah.

Tell me why Secretary is not the good. I played every race in Saratoga today, so I don't.
I know that. It's not a bit.
Yeah. Are you saying Secretary's overrated? Are you? This is fucked up.
I don't know how I feel about it. Okay.
It's been 20. That's okay.
That's a good pass. 23 years.
You didn't pass on Biden, but you passed on Secretary. You're waiting for all the facts to come out about Secretary.
And by the way, Biden still has some time. Yeah, it's true.
Maybe. It's true.
He's just rounded the first turn. They're a quarter in.
Has anybody ever had to take like Secretary was definitely on steroids? No, they saw his heart. It was double the size of a regular horse's heart.
But isn't that side-effective? I don't know. Does steroid make your heart grow bigger? That was like the Lance Armstrong thing.
He had cancer. Would he take steroids? Would he be an asshole? Kind of.
Maybe.

All right.

So you were in Europe.

I was.

Highlights.

You didn't.

You avoided the Chris Paul question very nicely.

Like, are we going?

Let me rephrase it. You brought it up again.

Even better, though.

Are you going hard back into Chris Paul this year?

Or are you going to keep your distance hoping things go different even though they've never

gone different for him?

You know, it's tough. This was a tough one.
one that game seven was so bad I had such a bad time and then I had to do a podcast like literally right after and everybody listened to see how depressed I would be it's awesome it was so bad it was and I was like you know you're just sitting there like what do you want me to say like I'm an asshole now like I guess so uh so you know look man I really You think Phoenix should have done a better job uh my whole goal would have been if i were the phoenix suns to get him some kind of combo guard that if you're not just to back up his minutes but to like relieve some of the stress of whatever was going on yeah um and they didn't do that of course um they couldn't sign a big guy two years ago. Sarver's a terrible, terrible owner.
And, you know, they went through this whole DeAndre Ayton thing to be like, hey, do you want to just fuck with this guy and then match? Save a mil or two later on. Right, right.
Like, that was so pointless. Because they were like, oh, you don't think you're going to, you know, whatever, they shaved a year off.
So I actually think they, and it's all related to Sarver, it's not James Jones. So, unfortunately, I don I don't think you know I think they should have tried to figure out a roster wise to help him and I really don't feel like they did so I'm a little worried about it and I think the Warriors are going to be even better ooh I like that take what about Kevin Durant is that still in the picture for the Suns I gotta tell you I love, I love him, but he's making it tough to love him lately.
He's really – I've gone the entire – I used to be baby back bitch Durant. Then I completely flipped when it's like, no, this guy's pretty cool.
Like, he responds to people on Twitter. He is kind of unapologetically him.
And this last one is tough. It's tough.
To sign a four-year deal and then be like, fire everyone that I hired, it's tough. Yeah, those guys didn't want Atkinson around because they didn't want to be coached.
So then they decide, hey, let's bring in Steve Nash. So he'll just have the perfect demeanor, perfect personality.
He's not going to push these guys. And now they don't want him.
And then it's like, so wait, Sean Marks is the guy when you basically were like, hey, signed DeAndre Jordan, who shouldn't even have gotten the contract, but he got the buddy deal. Yeah.
And so you're getting everything you want, and then you still want everybody fired. Here's how I would sum it up.
Just play in the fucking basketball games, and maybe things will work out. Yes.
Okay. They're still really good.
This Nets story, I've had it. Like Kyrie, people finally found out what happened here.
They were still going to give him the max. Yeah.
And they just wanted a games played stipulation. Yeah.
He's like, nah, man, can't control me. But do you mind playing? Right.
Is there any way if we give you this four-year extension, you just, we're going to play in more games. And so I have no sympathy for any of those guys whenever I see anybody on TV being like well you know they could have done a better job with their bi-level exception and I'm like stop fucking talking it's about one thing the guys don't play in enough games and if they did you're right yeah this team would actually be pretty good really good Stephen A.
Smith had the all-time take of like when Russia invaded Ukraine I didn't know if Kyrie Irving was going to go play basketball that day because it might have just been too much for him to deal with at the time. I'll tell you what.
Stephen A. on the Kyrie stuff has been unbelievable.
It's been great. It's really his magnum opus.
How do you feel about Stephen A. Smith taking off the entire month of August with a shoulder injury? He's back this week.
If there was time, you're going to take time off. You can't take time off at ESPN during the fall.
We just covered college football. And even for me, too, right after college and Super Bowl, it would be right into NBA trade deadline, right into March Madness, right into the NBA playoffs, right into the draft, right into free agency.
The six weeks that you get to take off when you're on air are the last couple weeks of July and as much as August as you can. So, you know, the guy works, you know, for any shit that people want to give Stephen A, because, you know, you're just out there in the spotlight long enough, I would not give him a shit because that guy says yes to everything.
Yeah. He works his ass off.
He is him. Yeah, so I don't, I mean, I'm not going to get on his case for taking off the time when espn is like go reset take this time off be ready to go week one nfl and then that's a straight run until you know the nba finals yeah i mean that's again another perfect example of like i was asking you a question that was like kind of a joke and you're like well i'll actually give you a great detailed response of why it is appropriate i'm taking this really seriously today i appreciate I appreciate that.
I was at a rooftop party and I was like I can't drink. PMT, yeah, let's do it.
You got any World Cup takes? Commentator. Which sport? Oh, good question.
Football. Soccer.
I don't. I don't.
I tell you though. I like Italy this year.
year I like soccer but I don't care about it yeah

I think that's where I'm at

I used to hate it

oh I care about the World Cup

that's the only thing

I do care about

are you going to pick a team

are you going to root for anybody

Italy

I think this is Italy's year

are you Italian at all

what about America

I'm like 1% Italian

I mean I think Italy's

just too good

like they've got Chiesa

they've got

this is

it's all setting up

to be Italy's year

he sounds good

I'm rooting for America

yeah

I think I will too

they're my second team

behind Italy

I'm going to root for Iceland. Are they in it? Nope.
I don't think so. Soccer's the sport for- Can we get research on that? Yeah, Jake's going to get research.
I've always said soccer's great because sometimes you wake up on a Saturday or Sunday morning before real sports start, and you just want to see a ball move around on grass. Like when you're hungover on a Saturday.
Just put it. It's nice.
It's a nice aesthetic. Ooh, that group H.
Group of death, yeah. I don't see Iceland.
No, I don't think so. I gotta tell you, you want to talk about overestimating someone's interest in your European travels? The Chris Long Big Cat text thread thread oh really no i mean i was out too i said you guys yeah i felt bad about that one from the it was great week oh you did go to iceland i did yeah i just got back from france i went to iceland this i'm still kind of in that espn mode i listened to the podcast it was fantastic ryan did on his show uh a full detail of his Iceland travels, and I've never heard a podcast like that, and it was fucking hilarious.
Thank you. Yeah, that was a sincere compliment.
What did you think of the Blue Lagoon? Made it the last day. All right, I got to tell you.
It's a great question. Great question.
This is another question I was expecting a serious answer to. So the thing about the Blue Lagoon, it's got the minerals in the clay, right? You smeared on yourself? Did a whole breakdown of it.
Because I saw the pictures and I'm like, what is this? And it was like the last day I ended up, as you listen to the podcast, I couldn't find a hotel room on the southeastern side by the glacier, so I had to drive another five hours that day.

And I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to go back to Reykjavik. And then I had like one day of not driving.
It was like the best. I was like, okay, this is cool.
Like I'm not driving, just hanging out. The city's pretty small.
And so the last real day, I go, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to head towards the lagoon, and then I can come back into town, whatever. None of that was relevant.
Probably could cut probably cut it off so you see this blue water and it's like in these black lava rocks and you're like is this really like this sick is it is it going to be this cool and it's this runoff from this geothermal plant so then you're like wait is that and i'm like i guess it is cool like i would imagine at this point they would have realized it wasn't safe you're right and it apparently is and so then i look on the website for how to book it and it's like sold out for two months straight like no chance i'm like okay but one of one yep that's the great thing about traveling by yourself does get a little lonely but you can usually just show up to a lot of places and go, hey, it's just me. Although in France, and I would put one other European country, they're almost so offended you're by yourself.
You're like, wait, you waited to come to this really fancy restaurant and you're going to fucking sit here by yourself? Don't give him ice. When he wants his check, never give it to him.
You're really bad about this ice thing, huh? Right. No, because there was in uh in nice like the the last night i went to dinner i looked up this italian place and i was like oh this is the best italian place in nice i'll go and the guy brought me like large croutons instead of bread i was like are you guys serious with this i was like is this normally how the bread is handed out to people and i like broke it apart like a piece of fucking egyptian lore and the guy was like watching me break it he was like oh that's stale i'm like yeah and then uh he was like how was the meal i go pizza was phenomenal i go the meatballs are frozen aren't they and he was like yes i went okay you have your answer yeah that's about how i felt the second part of it all right back to the blue lagoon yes sir this is the question was is this your handwriting so i walk in and it's packed and i was like i'm not getting in here walked up there was a 75 package 125 package and a 500 package and there was no one in line for the 500 package one and i go up and i was like can i just just get one? She's like, you're by yourself.
I was like,

yeah.

She's like,

it's like a heated bath.

You're just gonna walk around by yourself.

It's a couples massage.

Yeah.

I was like,

you know,

my hot tub rule,

there's kids in the hot tub.

You don't go in.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Old people and kids.

If they're already in there,

I don't get in the hot tub.

I was like,

no,

I think it's just going to be me.

She's like,

okay,

well you have to shower first.

I'm like,

yeah,

like I love showering. We're good.
Like, I think she was a little thrown off Like, what's this guy's deal? So the credit card went through, so we were concerned. She just let me go through, roll in, and as I'm watching everybody, I'm like, is this a huge scam? It's just this big hot tub that we're all kind of in, but I guess that silica or whatever it is, you start wiping it on you.
I took a shower later that day after a workout day after workout no big deal so i ripped it and after i showered i still had that shit all over my body like i could just sort of feel it yeah so yeah it's pretty cool uh and then you're like different spots it gets hotter you're like wow it's just randomly hotter in this area because of nature huh yeah and i went up to the side by myself, and a lot of people looked at me like, stay away from that.

What did you rate it on Google?

Did you give it,

like,

I love those.

I did.

When people, like,

rate the Grand Canyon on Google,

they give it two stars.

Yeah.

It's not that grand.

Line was kind of busy.

Oh,

you went July 4th?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like,

I looked up Saint-Tropez

and it said something like,

unfortunately,

not as many affordable food options.

Like,

you went to Saint-Tropez. Yeah.
Right. Like, you realized where you went, right? Maybe the most expensive place you could go in Europe, and you're mad that there weren't more, like, burrito specials? Like, what the fuck? Like, that's a you prop.
Yeah, I gave it – I think I rated it pretty high. And I said, go to the Premier line and then just say, you don't want that one, and then you cut everybody, which I don't really like line cutting, but in that time, I think it was justified yeah yeah one of one um all right let's do before we do the mount rushmore i have one last question i have one for you guys okay all right the rowback question r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com use code take for 20 off your first purchase uh qzips hoodies polos rowback.com promo code take for 20 off your first purchase.
Give us your hottest NFL take before the season starts.

Team player,

whatever you want.

What are you thinking?

No,

man,

I was not prepared for this.

You got something you're thinking about.

Simeon replaces fields.

Oh,

that's hot. You didn't want to go with Nathan Peterman? No.
I got Peterman on there. I'm just trying to fuck with Big Cat.
Story's not done with Nathan Peterman. Yeah.
I'm telling you. No.
That guy, I actually wouldn't mind him just putting together a couple. He became like the absolute, like, this guy's got a job.
You know? If I were him. That's that one half.
Yeah. Like, we're all about mental health awareness except for nathan peterman just shit on him yeah it's true yeah very true like hey you know here's my instagram page it's about yoga and mental awareness and but fuck nathan peterman you so i have a question for you guys yeah all right so as i'm walking around, and I'm looking at everybody, and I go, obesity doesn't seem to be an issue here.
And Nice is a melting pot. You look at it historically.
I know PFDC knows this. It's very Italian-influenced.
San Ramos. Yep.
For Italy. Right down the street.
Barcelona's six hours away. Billy knows.
And so every day was like burrata, prosciutto whatever you want to call it baguette every every afternoon out of just out of the woodwork and the bread really is that good it's so good you just get a piece of bread walk around all day it's so good i randomly got stuck at this lake because i couldn't find an uber out of there and some guy saw me walking like up a cliff with my luggage and he pulled over and was like do you want to ride and i just was like yeah sure i guess so but he wasn't going that far but i looked down and in the storage of his back seat was just a loaf of bread fuck yes just instant sauce so all right pizza fries i don't like the way the french do the french fry thing though at all they just like it's almost like rice, like sushi rice. It's just a round, and then they give it to you.

No, we cook them, and then we give them to you. Yeah.

And I'm looking at everybody vaping.

There's babies sitting at these tables, just cigarette smoke right in their face.

I can't imagine.

I don't know what the vaping stuff, I don't know the science behind it.

Drinking, you're like, what's the life expectancy in the U.S. compared to France?

Okay, so U.S. is what, like 77, 79?

The one I found.

Oh, age.

Yeah, very good.

Very good.

It's like 79 to 82.

Okay.

Male, female.

I think I have an answer for this too, by the way.

Where do you think the United States ranks among the 190 countries that I have in front of me on life expectancy in the world? I'm going to guess 19. I was going to say like more in the 40s.
49. Wow.
I almost said 50s. Now.
Would have been closer. There's obesity issues.
There's also lack of universal health care. OJ lives here.
Yep. Yep.
That but france is like top 20 and then i landed on this theory which i don't even know if it's right or not but this is just what this podcast is about exploring is we still have our pants on right this is it's been good so far is ryan wearing pants oh ryan yeah if i can see his favorite thing to do is just to show all of his balls to our audience. I didn't mean to this time.
I thought you were doing it as a bit. I thought you're like, OK, I'm going to wear a smaller pair of shorts than these last.
No, my legs got bigger since the last time. So the shorts are actually bigger.
OK, so Billy knows. But it might just be that the food, even though you'd be like, you guys are just eating pizza and cheese and ham and everything over and over and over again because every fucking rest of the menu is almost the same but because it's non-processed yeah what's going on because they're they don't the cigarette thing over there is out of control america doesn't get enough credit for how much they've moved off of the cigarette right i have i have one theory as well i i think vacation they all take the fucking summer off they're happier work it's like hollywood constantly like the fact that you're a script made in july forget about it everyone takes all of july is that was that was that has that been the problem for you that's yeah that's it i think whatever it is i was teeing you up there i'm like how have you not made fun of me yet on this one uh but i really do think that like the fact that the entire country takes two months off every year and it's mandated, Hank's probably going to outlive us because he takes vacation all the time.
He's probably going to move to Europe. I'm screwed.
I think whatever it is that... I still was putting out content while I was on vacation.
As you guys. The grapes over there are better.
The pigs are healthier. Everything's healthier.
I think it's less processed food. I think it's the same effects that are happening to the agriculture where you can get incredible grapes that make incredible wine.
There's some of that that's also going into humans as they're over there. The environmental factors.
Billy's got an idea. I'm sure this will be...
Wait, do they snack though? Do they snack there? Yes, they snack. They don't snack, I don't think.
I think they just eat their meals. Healthier snacks, though.
I think they just eat. The other thing i thought about when they never bring you a check because they don't i'm surprised i'm not still there waiting at this one place it may be because they're like what's the rush right yeah they're relaxed just chill out man why do you have to be so intense about everything you finished your meal and now like you know sit down honestly i think it's because our tv over here is so much better yeah that.
It makes us want to spend more time on the couch watching TV. It makes us want to leave restaurants quicker.
We don't allow time to digest properly because we're like, oh, we got to go home because there's this great show on. Yeah.
That's about a cool state in the United States. That's streaming that you can watch literally anytime.
Instantly. And in France, it's like, oh, yeah, you know what? Let's stay another 45 minutes after dinner because the best shows that I can watch on TV are all about New York City.
So I don't really care about it that much. Billy.
Do you want to? Go ahead, Billy. Sorry.
I know that the pesticides, there's a lot more illegal pesticides in Europe, and especially in the cigarettes, there's much more pesticides on American tobacco than European tobacco. That's why there's not as high rates of lung cancer.
People are just darts and vaping and i'm talking like with kids i saw an 11 year old kid in excellent provence he's the coolest fucking kid i saw all week he was like 11 hawaiian shirt fucking dart out of the side of his mouth it's awesome he walked up to like two 13 year olds was like who wants to fucking party I was like, I hope that kid asked me to hang out with him.

Yes.

He's unbelievable.

And I couldn't help but, like, I wish I smoked at 11 because look how awesome he looked.

Yeah.

You see a kid that's 11 and he's, like, gesturing confidently with his cigarette hand?

That's what he was doing.

Yeah.

It was like Don Draper but 11.

Now, if he had asked to hang out, though, would the 11-year-olds that you have live in your house, would that have been weird for them?

When I had the 14-year- have live in your house would that have been weird for them uh when i had the 14 year olds live in my house yeah uh the cool thing was when the 14 when the dad was there he was like hey i'm gonna go drink with some of the hockey players and i was like well i'm gonna hang out with the 14 year olds he was like what i go well i feel like i kind of gotta hang out with him if you have like to go you know meet up pro athlete i get a bunch a bunch of friends at Pro Athletes. It's not a big deal.
But yeah, I don't know. Those guys moved on from me quick, though.
When they turned 15, I like DM one of them. Like, hey, what's up, buddy? And it's like, fucking weeks go by.
When you were in France, did you get made real easily by the waiters and waitresses? Would they come over and bring you? They're like, oh, this is the American guy thought like there was one place i went to in greece that was really nice it was on the water i sat by myself and they were like what a loser like just fuck this guy he's sitting there they didn't even like the candle at the table like i couldn't read it was like dark and i had to like turn my phone on to read maybe it's well no i was younger then so it wasn't an so it wasn't an age thing. I just think that the service is terrible.
The service is terrible. Like I think after what, 20 plus meals, like I think I have a good read on it.
Yeah. I think the research would tell you is the service is not what it is here.
Yeah. The most insulting thing that happened to me when I was in France was I sat down at a table for breakfast.
It's like this outdoor cafe. But you were standing? I snow.
I sit down. That was mean.
That's mean. Yeah.
But you meant it was an insulting thing that happened. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I'm five foot eight.
Ryan got a problem with that. I'm sorry.
If I could have willed my body grow higher, I would have. You're not.
Unfortunately, I'm not. So I have to love myself and my body just the way that I am.
Built same. Built same.
Built average. So I sit down and the waiter comes over, immediately confiscates the French menu, hands me an English menu, and this is the worst part.
They take the cigarette ashtray off the table. It's like, oh, this guy's American.
He can't speak French and he's not going to smoke, obviously obviously. So I got up, and I went next door, and I bought a pack of cigarettes just to bring it back

and start chain smoking.

I'm like, bring that fucking ashtray back.

I'm going to smoke.

I'm going to smoke in your restaurant.

I like that.

Yeah.

I like that out of you.

I was very insulted by it.

Yeah.

Almost as insulted as I was a second ago.

You brought up my height.

Yeah.

That was mean.

That's what I thought we were doing.

Yeah.

No, we're not doing Who's the Jerk?

My friend is 5'8".

That's it.

That's all I got.

It would be are you really five foot eight that would be the who's the jerk yeah i feel bad trent richardson jersey yeah yeah he's going to all the famer yeah he's gold jacket we're going to get back to ryan russillo in a second before we do he's being brought to you by Whatnot is a live stream auction app where you can buy collectibles, comics, and really almost anything

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I've got quite the pile going.

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There'll be all sorts of stuff going up for sale.

Some nice jerseys I've got over there.

I was going through the pile the other day.

I've got some real throwbacks in there.

I actually have my DC defenders,

my tryout Jersey back there.

You can't get rid of that.

You don't think so?

No.

You're right.

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Now, here's more Ryan Russillo. All right, let's do the Mount Rushmore.
All right, I'm taking my sweatshirt off. All right.
I'm done. So he's going to be watching on the YouTube.
I don't. You're going to get to see even more of Ryan.
He's got something on underneath there. I don't.
Oh, some gnarly pit stains. Yeah, no, I'm pitting out bad.
Okay, we're going to do the Mount Rushmore of mundane, everyday tasks that should be Olympic sports. We have four teams.
Ryan, you're with yourself. That sounds about right.
Kind of your thing, yep. Billy and Jake.
We got the team producers, Batgirl and Memes, then PFT and I. ryan why don't you decide the order so we're going four deep snake draft okay uh mount rushmore of everyday activities that should be olympic sports pft first because i feel bad that's me and pft oh guys can't do it on your own well so only some people can host solo one of many that's me all right you guys can go first uh billy goes second and then jake no no jake and billy are together okay oh it's just three it's four it's four yeah the producers can i do a worse job with this yeah i'm gonna try it again and see if i can do it even worse all right i'll go last so okay it's it's you guys yeah yeah we'll go around the room yeah okay all right perfect all right 93 fish all right this is big pft this is a big first one i think the first one that i sent first one is good yeah yeah okay parallel parking should be an olympic sport either you're good or you're bad like when you're really good.
And I don't like the... It is kind of a Mickey Mouse thing now with all the cameras.
I never even use that stuff. I never use it.
When they explain it when you're buying a new car, and you're like, and if you hit this button, I'm like, fuck that. No, no, no.
Old school parallel parking, when you get it in one shot, best feeling in the world, especially when, like, if you're in a big city. The city.
It and then cars behind you. If you showed me parallel parking in the Olympics, I would watch it and it would be so entertaining.
So entertaining. The only thing it would be I think it would be more entertaining to watch it would be like American Idol.
I think I'd rather see somebody who just has no chance. Yeah, just take some guy off the street.
Give him a manual transmission too. Just watch chaos ensue.
Manual transmission. Yeah, that'd be tough.
That'd be tough. You guys even know what that is anymore? Remember License to Drive? You ever see that? What's that? It's a good movie.
Check it out. What year was it? 1950? Yeah, 51 maybe.
All right.

Billy and Jake, you guys are up.

All right.

Here we go.

We're going to go with carrying groceries.

Yep.

That was on our list.

That's a good one.

It's an impossible thing that you always think that you can just like, I got it.

I got it.

And you always drop something.

But man, that's fun. And then you get up to the door and you're like, wait, I actually can't open the door now.
Yeah. So you have to put it down anyways.
I like when the circulation gets cut off in the forearm. Yes.
You know, and like that plastic CVS bag is just like cutting into you. I also like when you have so many groceries and then you have like the paper towels or the toilet paper.
And you poke your finger in the plastic wrapping,

so then you just have the toilet paper by one single finger.

Yeah.

The towels.

Yeah, and you're just like this with everything else.

That's good.

That's a great time.

Good pick.

That's a really good one.

Good pick.

All right, Batgirl.

We're going to go with holding in a shit

when you don't have access to an easy bathroom.

Just not using the bathroom. Texas poop hold them.
soiling your shit texas poop hold i just really want to see texas is what it is uh yeah okay that's i mean yeah that's a very tough thing to do especially when you when you gamble there's nothing worse than when you gamble on like uh i gotta go out for like an hour and you're like i think i'm good and then like 10 minutes into being out you're like oh i'm not good i did that today on the train i got on new jersey transit which we know they're incompetent thanks to frank the tank and i drank a giant thing of water before i got on and then i forgot that they don't have bathrooms on the train and so i'm just signing my own death warrant yeah okay an hour and a half on this train you better hold that's an initiation some places to get in yeah just hang on to it like that yeah it's bad it's bad okay ryan you're up you have two picks i know um everyday thing i love my ability to be able to throw a towel into a bin oh yeah okay and especially like when there's a little moisture on it yeah and you have the weight right and i have a little routine at the equinox oh you go to the gym i do and i'll like i'm getting out to like almost 20 yards like it's it's aggressive what i'm trying to pull off and it's a slot too right um but it's it's like flat so you have to kind of go in it's not like straight at you it's aggressive what I'm trying to pull off and it's a slot too. Right.
But it's, it's like flat. So you have to kind of go in.
It's not like straight at you. It's on top.
Playing back. Yeah.
Yeah. But I will, I'm like out there.
These are like routes and I have it. And I, when I hit it, I like look around to be like, did anyone see me do that? Do you yell anything? You're like Kobe or anything? I've had a couple where I was like, holy shit, man, that was good.

And then you're like, you're the biggest loser ever because you just said that out loud.

But I really love that.

I'd like to see other people just randomly.

Like, when I get a chance to throw something into something, I'm like, I love this.

I watch it.

I'm automatic on socks into the laundry bin, like in my apartment.

The towel thing is tricky because in the gym, you might have like a bathroom attendant that's walking around the corner and you're shooting from like 20 yards away and just hit him with the towel and it's got to be it's got to be gym towels because gym towels are always a little thinner you know i mean there's a way to the big ones that you have at home the ac's blowing who knows he gets caught up in elements yeah but i like that's a good, I've just noticed that I'm like, you keep trying to see where this is going to go. All right.
I'm trying to think which ones I think you guys will take versus which ones I think are available. All right, I'll just go with it.
Stopping the gas pump on a dollar. We had that.
We had it. I love it.
I'll start going to 97, and then it's like, boom, right off.

When I'm locked in, I feel great.

Yeah, some people will say, well, you don't need to do that anymore because it's not the 90s.

But to them, I say, I still do that at a gas pump just because it's cool to see it stop on that perfect number.

In Iceland, you have to tell them ahead of time how much you want to pump.

Really?

Yeah, I mean, it's a pain in the ass.

But a lot of people don't know that.

It's not as many people travel.

Okay. Is it harder to do that now that gas prices with Joe Biden or just like through the roof there's a lot of factors PFT yeah name two of them it's not just all right Batgirl you guys are up good picks we're gonna go with timing commercials that was also on our list yeah that's a great one I I have three tvs so i don't have to deal with that anymore but i still think i could i like when people are like oh you're watching the blue jays and you're not watching the titans yeah i always i treat them a picture i when people say that it should be everyone yeah everybody on the content side should just start being like do you guys seriously think we have one fucking team room? Yeah, it's just like people will always be like, you're watching playoff hockey instead of playoff basketball, and I tweeted a picture of all three games on it.
I'm like, what are you going to do now, dude? Yeah, suck it. Yeah, it's a nice flex.
It's the best if it's NFL Sunday and you've got Fox on one, or you've got Fox on your TV, and you also check back on the CBS game, and you hit it right as they're snapping the ball on first down, it's such a good feeling. Yeah.
Okay, good pick. Billy and Jake.
We're going to go with pissing, aiming, and distance. Mm.
Oh. Mm.
Okay. Piss Olympics would be very fun to watch.
Shit. Who can piss the farthest? Yeah.
Who's got the best accuracy? Yeah, McConaughey was saying in his book that his dad and him used to have contests, not for distance, but for height. They would see who could pee up the highest on the wall.
Yeah. I think he said that his dad could pee up like eight feet.
That's eight feet? Crazy. That's not that crazy.
That's crazy. It isn't? Billy, how far can you? I think I can make my piss.
Go outside and piss in the hallway. Trip it.
Yeah, do it. We got to do it.
Go do it. I think you could piss in the hallway at this office.
Go see. No, well, I got to piss first.
I got to have to pee first. Okay, so drink some water.
Okay. All right.
I think I could piss on the ceiling. I think I could hit the ceiling.
I don't think I could. Pissing on the ceiling? Cover? Without a whip, though.
You can't whip. You can't whip.
Yeah, we're talking extreme power. A a whip is a i could piss on the ceiling with a whip we're talking prostate only yeah yeah you're just raw maybe you know what maybe maybe now i think about this maybe eight feet isn't that impressive not laying it sounds i kind of want to see you try to i definitely don't think they were laying down now i gotta see you lying down straight up into the air.
Billy, I don't. Straight, just power.
Standing? Standing power. Maybe Billy's right.
Yeah. And then we got to see it now.
Fuck. I'll do it in the bathroom.
Okay, great. Just mark it on the wall.
Do it in the corner. Yeah, that's perfect.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can do it wherever you want. It's a good experiment.
I like this. Drink up.
I want to see who can piss the farthest. Yeah, this is the Olympics.
Okay, good pick. All right.
Where do we want to go? Yeah, this is a tough one because they took two of ours. Yeah.
I like the second to last thing that I sent you in that big block. Yeah.
I like that one. Yeah, and I like the one above it too.
So why don't you go with the second last one and I'll go with the one, or the one two above it. Okay.
Yeah. Hitting every light in a row.
Seeing how many you can get. The best.
It's awesome. Riding the wave.
When you really know an area, too, and you're like, if I get this one, that means. You can sometimes go, like, the entirety of Manhattan in, like, ten minutes if you hit.
I've never had a moment like that. When we work late here on here on sunday nights and we like go home at like two o'clock i've rode the wave a couple times and it is such a thrill there's just hit one and you're like i'm good for the whole way home there's this road in in dc constitution avenue and if you hit it perfectly if you get to that first light just as it's turning green so you see it turn from red to green you know that you can drive all the way from the bridge past congress no stops whatsoever and then you get towards the end and by the end you're running like kind of running a red light or two it's you're barely making the end of that yellow congress is never doing anything yeah congress don't want to do shit about it but uh it's exhilarating it's such a good feeling because you know that you're about to have the best drive ever.
Yeah. I'm just getting excited thinking about it.
I want to rent a car. All right.
Our next pick is going to be – now, this one I actually think you could actually really have a great competition. You have everyone is laying there sleeping, and it's who can wake up before the alarm closest to the alarm.
Because God damn does that happen every fucking day. And everyone and everyone thinks like i'm the best at always waking up a minute before my alarm

and having people try to wake up as close to their alarm as possible billy this probably

doesn't count for you uh before their alarm hits what what a thrill that would be

what is that how come we haven't unlocked what that brain power it's crazy when you go hey i'm

gonna set my alarm and then i'm gonna wake up and like i can't believe how often i wake up right

Thank you. what is that how come we haven't unlocked what that brain power it's crazy when you go hey i'm gonna set my alarm and then i'm gonna wake up and like i can't believe how often i wake up right before the alarm so every day why are we not untapping what that ability is and applying that to more things it's just your olympics why aren't we seeing who's the best i was talking to security guard one time this story blows my mind that that this brag no that this dude is he is built different he was telling me he wakes up every morning at 4am he has never used an alarm he wakes up at 4 o'clock in the morning every single day he doesn't obviously have a snooze button but he says sometimes if I'm feeling tired I'll wake up at 4 and then I'll close my eyes and I'll count to 60 7 times in a row and then I'll open my eyes again that's my snooze button fucking maniac did you have a macro dosing what the fuck no no he's a he's a psychopath that's crazy yeah i had one moment that i still don't really explain other than my content brain just overpowers my life i was in france it was whatever it was 2018 2019 when lebron signed with the lakers so it's like three or four in the morning I woke up out of a deep deep sleep out of nowhere just woke up looked at my phone stared at my phone 20 seconds later the Woj alert happens LeBron signs the Lakers I still don't know how that happened and I spent the next three hours just tweeting and you know in the middle of the night from France.
And I was like, what's going on with my brain? It was crazy. I watched it like I watched the alert go on my phone.
That's weird. It was weird.
It was very, very eerie. I mean, obviously we knew he was going to sign somewhere that week, but still it was fun.
Yeah. No, that's not what you're saying.
Yeah. It made me realize like maybe I should take a break.
This isn't an argument about everybody knew he was going to the lakers yeah it's yeah it was fucked up no i've been having a lot of this stuff like there was this this guitar player that uh i just recently started teaching myself how to play guitar really yeah but not a midlife crisis for anyone's gonna say that in the comments no i've always wanted to do this um but it's uh the boat that you bought to well it's an investment it's an investment sorry i'm getting you back for the pfdi the mma class has been great though you brown belt now you know my dojo we don't really like to categorize you know everybody knows who's who yeah we don't need a belt to fucking prove you have many many black, many black belts, many instructors. It's like the Nets.
We're not making fun of Ryan. If you want to see a sick rendition of Hotel California on his newly purchased boat, he will be ready in about a month.
Hey, hey, babe. Hey, babe, you know I play the guitar? What's that like when you get a guitar at this age? Because when you learn.
There's a very specific style that I'm to teach myself Yeah, there's certain songs that like You can't just do like the beginner stuff What are you doing, finger picking? Yeah, John Fahey As a man, you can't pick up a guitar and be like I'm learning this and then your first instruction Is like Mary had a little lamb No, no, I'm watching these finger picking videos And I'm teaching myself how to do it And so far, so good I'm watching these finger-picking videos, and I'm teaching myself how to do it. And so far, so good.
I'm classically trained, so I just have the ear. You what? I have the ear.
Choir. Okay.
Did you know that? No. So, really? Anyway.
But whose pick is it? Yeah, yeah. So anyway, the point is I was reading a Led Zeppelin biography, which is actually more of a bum that it is it's a good book but it's a bummer those guys kind of suck and uh then you they were talking about how Jimmy Page was like as I was thinking about John Fahey they mentioned how Page was obsessed with Fahey as I was doing it that's the worst story I've ever told in the podcast no I liked it it's the same universe it's the same thing right like how insane is it that this is very I bet you 99.9% of the people listening like who are you talking about don't even worry about it and when I was I was thinking about him as I was reading the book because I was like oh I got to figure out this new part it's been really hard and then I was like that's insane that that just happened it's it's the moments that you're like are we living in a simulation and the alarm clock good picture it'd great oh i i had a fucked up alarm thing happened to me two weeks ago this is this is fucking remember the day we thought you died yeah oh yeah there's that one so we actually i actually thought so one day i forgot to set my alarm and i just slept and i just didn't stop sleeping usually i wake up even if i don't have an alarm i wake up at like 9 10 a.m whatever uh I just slept until about noon.
Maybe it was 1230. I had to be on the radio at 11 a.m.
So I slept all the way through that. People thought I was dead.
Big Cat thought that I was dead. I was like, he might be dead.
I woke up. You look at your phone, and it's just like a text message from everyone that you know in your life being like, are you okay? Are you okay? And then you feel like a piece of shit.
But I didn't do anything wrong. I just like slept too long one day.
into work and everybody's like pfts on drugs yeah you know like they're everyone's very concerned about me and i'm like i swear to god i literally just slept that's all that happened to me but um that's not the crazy alarm story the crazy alarm story is i set my alarm like this i know about a month ago uh because i have to get breakfast i'm in a. I have to get breakfast before I get on the cab that takes me back to the airport.

It's taking a bunch of people back from the airport.

So in order to do that, I have to order my room service an hour before I wake up, because

it takes them forever.

Damn, that new contract.

So I set my alarm.

Yeah, first world problems.

Yeah.

So I set my alarm, and as I'm setting it to 6 a.m., the label on the alarm just pops up because I just said to my friend, I was like, I got to set my alarm for 6 a.m. so I can remember to order room service before I actually have to wake up.
I set it to 6 a.m. and the title of the alarm is order room service automatically pre-programmed into my phone.
I swear to God, I stopped and I showed it to everybody.

It was like, you guys are witnesses.

It just heard me say this.

That's Steve Jobs.

And it automatically programmed my phone.

That motherfucker's all up in our ass.

Yeah, the phone stuff is, there's too many times where something happens.

I go, this sucks, man.

Yeah, they know everything.

They make it too easy.

All right, Jake and Billy.

We're going to go with stopping the microwave before it beeps. Yeah, that's a good one.
I saved my seconds. Yeah, you got to save your seconds.
What will happen is you get down to like one second, you stop it, and then you put the food in the next time you use it, and you just click plus one minute, plus one minute, plus one minute. Another thing a guy's will do is they'll use the wrong numbers just to keep the key

pads fresh. You ever heard that one?

No. That's a lot of guys.

1 0 0 or whatever or 90

be like I can throw an 84 on this.

So that you don't wear down

the ones. Now when you say a lot of guys

not many. Not many.

Got it. That's actually almost no one.

That's actually genius. Yeah no somebody

showed it to me once and they were like oh I'm like what

you just typed in 1 12

or whatever actually that wouldn't be a good

Thank you. Got it.
That's actually almost no one. That's actually genius.
Yeah. No, somebody showed it to me once and they were like, oh, I'm like, what?

You just typed in one 12 or whatever.

Actually, that wouldn't be a good example.

Like, yeah, it said a 90 seconds.

It was like 86.

And he's like, yeah, he keeps the keypads. Right.

What a psycho.

It ups the resale value.

My fucking one is down again.

I got to call my one guy out here. All right, Batgirl.
Team Batgirl. Some good picks.
We're going to go with getting out of small talk. What's your move? I would not be participating in this Olympic event, but I would like to watch other people participate in this.
Yes, that would be actually awesome to watch.

Just put them in a situation where it's like a really bad co-worker that you have to like walk to work with and figure out a way like,

oh, I got to go get a cup of coffee or some sort of situation where.

Yeah, the most seamless.

And we could have it be like ice skating with judges.

Yes.

I know who will win the gold medal because he did it to me.

Who?

The Miz.

Oh, really? Yeah, one of the biggest dick moves I've ever had anybody do to me in my entire life. Espy's party.
You know, I'm with Chris Long. I'm with, like, other dudes.
I think Glazer was with us. I think we had a UFC dude who was with us.
I think Jules was with us. Like, it wasn't like the crew was a bunch of milk carton guys.
Right. And Miz was there, and I was like, oh, hey, what's up? He's i was like what he's like yeah this whole thing like hi i'm you and i'm me yeah we've done this pal like we don't need to do this again and i was like that's the biggest fuck you i've ever gotten from anyone in any i had never met him before ever like i never was on any of those tv shows the whole time that guy would be phelps yeah it's incredible well that would be straight up to my face was like yeah yeah pal we're good uh we've fucking done this before you would get like great scores for for the quickness but the tact you'd lose points on it was an olympic event i didn't want to talk to him i mean we he got out of that conversation pretty quick after that i mean yeah maybe you're right maybe if it was a gymnast it would be like yeah that routine wasn't the hardest but damn it was efficient yeah right the german judge gives you high marks on that one yeah did you dismount in that moment did you like blame yourself were you thinking well i must be just no fun to talk to or were you cognizant of the fact that that's weird he's being a dick I was like fuck him I was not thrilled but then like when it's one of those guys you're kind of like alright what are you going to really do about it it's the Miz yeah but I was like wait was that I don't know like you could take him yeah why would you put a cap on yourself right why would you have salary cap? I don't know if shit went down.
It's not guaranteed. Yeah, right.
I mean, I know what the line would be, but don't put a salary cap on any part of your life. Douglas B.
Tyson. Shit happens.
Yeah, what if I had a bad week? What if I was super mad about something else in my life? Yeah. You have two picks, right? You have your last two.
I can't believe this one hasn't been taken yet because it would both be fascinating and you would learn packing. Yeah.
Oh, great one. Great pick.
I suck at it still. Great pick.
Do you always forget something or do you overload? There's always one thing that I'm like, and then as soon as I come back from the trip, it's on the bed. Yep.
Every. Every time.
I've been forgetting underwear. Like, I'll forget a whole.
I fucking forgot pants. Yeah.
Like, I put all the. I think these luggage containers.
Like, everybody buys them going, oh, this is awesome. Yeah.
And know what ends up happening is I leave one. And then, like, I did a trip the other time.
I was like, you left all the pants in that one cube. You have no fucking pants.
The whole week. You're not going to have any pants.
So, that's why I wear the short shorts. It's not about my legs.
It's just about packing. That's a great pick.
I forgot my pants for the seventh consecutive trip. Great pick.
Great pick. Would love to watch the Pack Olympics.
Yep. Beach umbrella installation.
Yes. Yes.
Thank you. Thank you, Ryan.
That's a big problem facing Americans today. Beach umbrellas, we're getting lax with it.
Because when somebody's really good at it, you're like, wow. That's incredible.
That guy's put some umbrellas in the beach. Yeah, you got to do the twist thing first, and then you build it from the ground up.
And where to put it? You got to place it in the right spot. There's a bad spot to put it where it's too far away from the people.
Yep. Somebody died this weekend in South Carolina because a beach umbrella got blown out of the ground, and it stuck into somebody and killed them.
Oh, man, that's badass. And so anytime I see the beach umbrella flying down the beach i'm like there there should be a rule on the beach if your umbrella gets blown out of the sand it doesn't matter if it hits anybody if you lose control of your umbrella you're kicked off the beach for the rest of the day you're banned you're out you get ejected yeah yeah maybe that's like a different category of it like there's speed installation and then they'd have have to do some resistance stuff.
Yeah, but then it's like, hey, instead of a medley, wind tunnel day. Yeah.
And it's just guys out there hoping it holds up. Then you've got to play the wind angles.
You get a little geometry involved. Maybe have one of the competitions be like you have to put the beach umbrella in when it's cloudy, and then the sun comes out.
Did you put it in the right place? I like that one. So do you do it, like you're saying you're really good at the speed? No, once I learned that like rounded thing, and then it's like- Wait, do that again? You're drilling it now.
Yeah, like that? Yeah. We're going to blur your legs out.
That would be funny. Just the whole bottom half of you is blurred.
Yeah, I don't know. I wouldn't't say i'm great at it yeah i mean there's some of these things i just want to be better yeah these are things you want to watch too right this would have been like the olympics thing of like me i would have been forgetting names right yeah i would nobody forgets a name faster than i do i've tried those tricks no they don't work because the other thing too it's like some of the tricks is like you're supposed to look at somebody's face and i i'm like bad with this.
If you have a really aggressive, weirdly placed mole, I'm going to look at it the whole fucking time. I can't stop looking at it.
But they'll tell you to do that, to remember names, to be like, hey, you know, look at somebody's face. And then I'm like, wait, wait.
Like, I don't know. When people can remember names, that fascinates me.
It's also just a shit show when like we were on Grit Week and there was nine of us. And we'd show up somewhere.
And there'd be like, you know, three or four dudes. They'd be like, hey, what's up? And we'd go down the line.
It's like, none of us remember any of our names. You know when you do the big meet and everyone's like, hey, I'm here.
Oh, you're saying they don't remember your name? No, no. We can't remember theirs.
We're meeting four or five guys. They're meeting nine guys.
Yeah, yeah, right. It's just a fucking mess.
Why do we even do it all right uh batgirl last pick last pick another one i'm kind of surprised hasn't been picked yet especially you you talk about this a lot big cat putting a cooler together ah yeah packing a cooler would be good packing a cooler would be very good is that kind of like that a lot the tortilla tortilla a soup thing though? What? What do you mean? Is packing a cooler... Is it under the packing umbrella? Oh, you think you're calling a flag on them? I'm just asking for clarification.
It's a completely different art. The cooler is an art.
Don't let Ryan shame you. That's for the listener.
Very uncouth. And I will defend that to the death.
Yeah. There's a definite method to packing a cooler.
You got to go ice, product ice. I retract the inquiry.
Okay. Okay.
Interesting. Good pick, Max.
Good pick. I think you guys are overselling it now, though.
Great. Pick it.
Steal the draft. All right.
Jake and Billy, last one. And then we have our our last one our last pick is jaywalking running through traffic real life frogger this is a game I used to play with my friends just running across the street trying to avoid getting hit by cars it was the best rush of my life and I think it would be a great Olympic sport.
Also, high stakes.

Yeah.

Viewership.

Really high stakes.

Very high stakes.

Maybe have it like during the 400 meter dash.

You have to try to run between the runners that are running.

During the Indy 500.

Yeah.

Good pick, Billy.

And style points for like going in between close cars.

What's your closest call?

Have you been hit by a car doing this? The hood of a taxi. That's kind of cool.
It was like one of those small Toyota ones. It wasn't that big of a taxi.
You got hit by a car doing this. That's what you said, yeah.
It was a Corolla. Yeah, it was a Corolla.
You jumped onto the hood.

It was fun.

What did the driver say?

He yelled at me in some foreign language.

I don't remember.

I'm elite at moving well through crowds,

but that's a little different of a...

Very good at it.

You've always been good at it.

Always been good at it.

That was a hot soup thing.

Yeah, hot soup. Yeah, exactly.
Callback joke. That's Titus' thing.
I'll tell him that you ripped that off. Okay.
Last pick for us. PFT, what do we want to do? So I'm looking at yours.
I kind of like the second one that you sent me because I had something similar to that. Which pointed to me? In your – the first thing.
Okay, the second line. The first block of text.
The second second line is good there i also like the one that was right before the hitting every light in a row okay so either one of those two okay yeah let's go let's go with the the phone one okay what you're talking about yeah yeah yeah uh saving your phone for being smashed with your feet just breaking the fall a little bit just just just that one little extra oh you get a toe on it and everyone has to deal with it because everyone drops their phone but the events 2 a.m yeah right you're drunk and there's no case it's always no case no case no case no rookies rookies yeah cases or it could be yeah i would are you kidding yes. Are you kidding me? You wouldn't watch someone like fumbling with their phone and trying to save it? They have to use only their feet.
You'd have like fucking Messi would win the gold medal, right? If Messi were bad, it would be like one of the most disappointing things ever. Yeah, it would be.
Ever. Ever.
You wouldn't watch it? You want to just see people get hit by cars? That is a spectacle. That'slympic sport okay if you don't like to pick you don't like to pick that's fine someone jumps over a car well yeah that'd be cool yeah but it was also everyday activities right like everyday activities like are you always avoiding cars yeah i mean you're always jumping from the subway i just follow i follow the fucking well sometimes you take chances you know it's like yeah no i actually No one's coming jumping in the subway.
I just follow. I follow the fucking signs.

Well, sometimes you take chances.

You know, it's like it's a ride, but no one's coming.

All the time.

Then a car turns in.

New York does have the best jaywalkers in the world.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

They're very aggressive.

If you go to Williamsburg, people just walk in the street.

It's just like, what's going on here?

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with it.

Because when I was in Europe, people people were like i just got back um they don't give a shit surprise you don't have an accent you should do a pod with that start saying cheers yeah that's the guy i questioned french once when he's from the expos and the other two co-hosts were like fucking loser just like you're the worst i was like all right you know what noted so i don't uh don't break that out i'm not very good at it anymore anyway uh we have honorable mentions do you have anything you you we know i'm just excited to hear yours okay we got i got a couple the one that i don't think it could really be an olympic sport but i know that i'm very good at it and so i don't know how you'd actually make the like sport but eating all all the popcorn and snacks before movie starts. I don't know how you would, because then it would just be a Joey Chestnut situation.
But if you could figure out a way to make it a natural competition, it'd be fun to watch. Like, oh shit, this guy's got the pace.
There's only one preview left and he's almost done. Would you always know, I imagine? I think you could pull it off as long as people didn't know that they were competing.
Right, right. Because I would win the gold in that.
Do you eat all your popcorn before the movie starts? Every fucking last bite. And all the candy, too.
Popcorn is weird where you're just like, oh, so I'm just not going to stop. Yeah, right.
12 minutes straight. Ever, ever.
Is popcorn bad for you? Eh. I feel like it's good for you.
It's fruit, right, Billy? Fruit, yeah. Yeah.
It's fruit yeah you know if you leave all the stuff off of it i think you're fine yeah salt intake if you did it all the time probably wouldn't be great but the other one i had um i had two others that are specific uh knowing the moment of bet is is is lost pft and hank have always said that i have great ability of that of like doing the math in my head and being like oh no yeah if we don't score here in like the third quarter we're fucked yeah he's always like two steps ahead of where my brain is i'm like okay we're about to get a touchdown here then they'll probably have enough time before halftime to kick a field goal but then big cat's already running through the third quarter implications and i'm just like no no if we don't get seven here we're done you're also very good at at watching sports yeah by that i mean like we'll have the entire wall tv set up and i'll have a soccer game that i'm betting on or a hockey game and i'm paying more attention to all the other things and within probably half a second of a goal being scored because it'll be like goal yeah he just knows it when it happens yeah you know what is kind of like that it but it's it's also different is watching football with stanford steve if you were like, oh, hey, that was to, you know, that was, well, Thielen and Jefferson would be a little tough to confuse. If you were watching a game and you were like, oh, who had the score on that? And then if you had it wrong, he'd be like, no, it was Ertz.
And you're like, what? He'd be like, it was Ertz on a slant. And then you're like, okay.
And then I'd be like, oh, shit, was that the same guy? He's like, that was 22. That's 24.
And you're just like, Jesus. Like, the guys that played football or coached, the way Billy knows, the way they identify the things that happen in sequence, it's a completely different level of state time.
Yeah, Edelman, Amendola. Yeah.
That kind of mix up. That's a good one.
Yeah. Because they're both stout.
Yeah, they play scrappy.

Right.

This one people will probably make fun of me for, but I am incredible at keeping a cone

clean, ice cream cone.

You know where I was just in Europe?

That would come in handy there.

People love gelato.

And is it everywhere?

Are they making a mess or are they keeping it clean?

Just great cone maintenance.

No, I was watching a couple kids eat their cones,

and it was just awesome to see the selfishness

of a seven-year-old with a cone.

He's like, I'm making a mess.

I'm getting it everywhere.

And if this goes bad, I'm going to demand another one.

Yeah, right.

And I'm going to get clean.

Like, someone's going to come clean me up after this.

Yeah, right.

And you have to clean me.

I had taking clean shit.

So, like, fewest amount of toilet paper swipes used. That would be a weird one to watch.
Yeah, I wouldn't watch that one. That's one that's best on the radio.
Or on StatCast. Yeah, I wouldn't watch that.
But yeah, Germans probably would. But like the cleanest shit.
Germans love the word shit. There's like 50 versions.
The Germans want the messiest shit. Yeah, they want the shit on the chest oh you're talking like videos yeah yeah michael lewis wrote about it in boomerang where he talked about the german thing and he was like their fascination with the word shit is hilarious yeah what is that about germans i don't know i've been there though oh yeah i'll tell you about it you're very worldly yeah i had cooking the perfect steak without you know using thermometer, just knowing off the sizzle of

the pan.

Yeah.

Actually, you asked like what the fights that we've gotten in on this podcast, the fight

over medium rare plus is probably the most.

But it's only your side.

The serious fight.

See, it's starting again.

It's very one-sided.

It's starting again right now.

Ryan, if you're out to dinner with the boys, hang out, just chill with the fellas.

Again, this is only on PFG.

Just chill with the boys.

And somebody at the table orders a medium rare steak.

And then the person next to him says, can I have a medium rare plus steak? What are your thoughts on that? I mean, look, I guess you could say technically it is a different temperature. I would say most people, like, if you put down a plus and a medium rare in front of them, most people are never going to know the difference.
Yeah. Interesting.
I whenever I go to a nice steakhouse, I don't like when they do.

I always think medium rare.

They always cook it a little bit closer to rare and i like it a little bit more and pft doesn't like people to just live their life it doesn't bother him whatsoever as someone that's worked in a restaurant i i sympathize with the waiter nothing to do with it you just don't you i think it has to do with the fact that people have told me i'm right and you don't like that no that i that's why because i know yeah i know what it's like from that side of the house you could you know what i don't like about anything though is i don't like anybody fucking with how you want to eat thank you so i'm sorry but like cowherd i don't know if you guys know him agile sinewy yeah physically uh he would he would always he did like a rant once he's like don't be change your order guy and i was like what and we started he goes if there's a salad and you know you don't want onions just pick them off like or i could just ask you to not have fucking onions right this onion taste is still going to be on there if i have to pick it off the whole time coward also once made a point about you shouldn't ever check a bag which some people believe in but i'd be like what if you're gone like a certain number of days yeah like you got to check a bag you'd be like just buy new clothes and then mail them home i'm like wait wait you think the solution of the efficiency of not checking a bag is solved by buying new clothes on the road and then mailing them. Or you have seven people that work on the show that are always mailing your stuff.
That's the ultimate checking a bag is buying new clothes and then making a special trip to UPS to send your clothes home separately. But I tip well.
I never am mean to waiters. I ask for a steak a certain way.
I don't think it's a big deal. The coward thing also strikes me as he probably went on vacation with his wife, and he just got mad because he had to wait at baggage claim with her.
He's like, we could have been home by now. Yeah, he had this massive baggage claim thing, and then he had this don't change the ingredients when you order at a restaurant.
I stopped him in the hallway to be like, I've never disagreed more like why if I have the option to take something like why would I want stuff on it that I don't want on it that I now have to like add this sardines on my Caesar salad I ate a restaurant on Friday and right on the menu it said we kindly decline all substitutions or modifications like right on there was a is the nicest rejection I've ever had hey look when And, sometimes you do those packages of food. I'm like, I kind of don't want that dessert.
Do I say something? Alright, any other honorable mentions? Anyone else? Spitting. I like that.
I had one parent one and it would be fun to watch. It would be dangerous, but I do think the ability to just know the second that one of your small children is about to do something very dangerous on the stairs, it would be a fun Olympic sport to watch because it's just an innate parent.
They fall down a lot, huh? Yeah, and it's also just like when there's like a – parents will know what I'm talking about. When there's like maybe more than like 20 seconds of silence, you're like,

wait,

something bad is about to happen.

Cause they always are silent before the danger.

It's never like if they're,

if they're giggling and laughing,

it's like,

ah,

they're just fucking around.

But when,

when,

when the silence happens,

it's like,

Oh,

I got to jump into action here.

So that'd be a fun Olympic sport to watch.

What do you got memes?

Mowing the lawn.

Ooh,

yep.

That would be great.

That would be great.

That would be a great one. They probably have that.
Yeah, they probably do. Something.
In, like, Iowa. Yeah.
Why Iowa? I don't know. They just...
John Deere tournament. Sounds a little anti-Iowa.
Yeah. No, I think if you had someone from Iowa here, they'd be like, yeah, mowing the lawn kicks ass.
Yeah. It's one of my favorite things to do.
It's all I have to look forward to in my bleak Iowan life assembling furniture and moving okay moving a couch maybe moving a couch in a hallway would be a great one oh my god that should have been the number one pick moving a couch in a narrow hallway because you want to know why it'd be great is everyone thinks they can figure it out then you never can I like assembling furniture too from I from ikea yeah i i had to help someone move this weekend i had it's brutal i had a leather couch that i moved from connecticut to la and it sat in the garage for a year and some other thing got delivered the guy's like what's up with that i go it doesn't fit he goes i'll get it to fit i go it's not gonna fit he goes it's not gonna fit we had movers here they tried different angles doesn't fit i have to have it craned in if I'm ever going to do it. He's like, I'll get it to fit.
I go, look, if you can get it up there, I'll give you an extra $100. I was like, but I don't want to have to pay $1,000 to repair all the sheetrock.
But you're going to fuck up. He's like, I got it.
I got it. Him and his buddy, they sat there.
They fucking smashed it into my walls. They're like, yeah, it's not going to fit.
Oh, I just thought of it. I got to like that, though.
But that'd be a great... I'd watch the beginning.

You know how great it would be to intro in the two guys?

They think it always fits.

Yes, yes.

I just thought of a good one we should have done.

Shaving.

Yeah.

Just like...

Everybody has a beard, and then you're given five minutes.

It's like, turn this into something.

Yeah, yeah.

On your own face.

I like that.

And there could be a minimum swipe goal, like fastest lap. Yep, yep, yep this into something.
Yeah. On your own face.
And there could be like a minimum swipe

goal like fastest lap.

Yep. How many yeah?

What are you going to say Billy? From the old

Trojan commercial Sex Olympics.

Are you talking about porn?

You got a porn problem?

No that was a Trojan commercial.

There was a Trojan commercial.

If you guys remember there was a whole campaign

when there was an Olympics

that was people would watch that. Yeah, people would watch having sex.
You're also talking about porn. Yeah, wait.
Yeah, so I'm not. Why is it different than porn? You're the Uber for porn.
No, it's the athletic achievement. Because it's not for visual.
It's the performance-based.

Speed, endurance, strength.

So you're just...

It's porn.

No.

It's porn with just different times?

It's like dancing versus sports.

One's a performance.

So you're talking about nude dancing, but with penetration.

Yeah.

So you're talking about really fast porn. No.
I think you're talking about the best, but with penetration. Yeah.
So you're talking about really fast porn.

No.

I think he's talking about the best porn that you've ever seen.

No, but like.

What would it be?

Yeah, paint a picture of, you know.

Pitch it.

Athleticism.

Longest load?

Yeah.

Coming can be one.

Deepest throat.

Yeah.

Biggest tits?

Well, no.

More like athletic competition. Like accuracy.
Hitting the his foot job speed no Billy walk me through like paint me a picture what am I looking at on the screen volume what volume pretty sure all this is out there yeah no but like I want to see like like strongman competitions like ourats of strength. I want to see that.
How many times someone can have sex? I don't know. It's just...
It was in a commercial with the Trojan commercial. It's the Tiger Woods biopic.
Like who wins? Who can make the other person finish first? Oh, so it's head-to-head. Yeah.
So you... Yeah, okay.
Now I'm into this. So you win if the other person comes first.

Yeah.

But you lose if you –

I think you just made that part up.

Yeah.

Save himself.

I'm into that.

Okay.

Like, who wins?

Okay.

Who's your goat, Billy?

Johnny Sids.

Yeah.

Nancy Reagan.

That's a good one.

That's a good one.

All right, Jake, did you have something else? Bed- Bed making Yeah Well that would suck Yeah I've seen some of those videos Where they like Throw everything up And I'm like That's amazing But I'm never I'm never gonna get there Yeah Jake is an excellent bed maker That was an outlier No So Jake stayed over at my place And he made the bed up so nicely I thought that that was the wrong bedroom i was like there's no chance jake slept in here it was better than any hotel bedroom i've ever seen dude when you stay at somebody's place and you make the bed that's when you're growing up yeah that's when you're raised you're raised a certain way yeah jake is always jake was making the bed when he was seven but that's that's something i think i was like 38 the first time i did it yeah i did it i was like you know what things are really that we're it out. Is it your boy Field Yates? He makes the bed in a hotel room every day? That I don't know.
I never slept with him. You lost.
I think the maids would like that less. He is.
I'm at Field Yates. He's got some game to him.
Field Yates would definitely be in my Olympics for sex watching. Would you watch Field Yates Fuck Billy? You know, I was just referencing the commercial.
Yeah, but you would, right? It's a funny series. Say you'd watch him fuck.
You'd watch him fuck. Field Yates? I can't wait until he hears this.
He's going to hear this. He's like, wait, what the fuck? All right, numbers.
Let's finish the show. One to ten, how good of a hookup do you think Fields Gates is? Billy, serious question.
Out of everybody in this room right now, if you were to walk past a window and see them having sex, which one would you stop and watch? You can only pick one. Oh, I think he knows he'd pick me.
He just doesn't want to say it. Yeah, no.
Definitely. He'd want to see the back muscles working and everything.
Perfect.

Was that who you were going to pick?

But you didn't want to say it?

No, I was going to pick memes.

Oh, nice. Memes.

Yeah, a little curveball.

Nice memes.

All right, numbers.

Ryan, go ahead.

You get first pick.

Oh, from scale of one to what again?

One to 100.

Let's go 77.

58 is out.

91.

66. 11.
Jake was 26 Hank has never won this by the way Never won this Hank What happens when you win? Nothing Wait did you really pick that number? It's like names we don't remember What do we got? Is it just two? Is it a raw two?

Wow, memes. Moses Malone.

Sorry, memes.

Memes always picks three.

That's tough.

Re-2-packed.

Brutal.

Love you guys.

You guys got to come up with something.

If you don't have anything, you've been doing this the whole time.

I've won the most.

No, you haven't.

Yeah, I have.

Is that true, Jake?

Yeah.

I've won three times. Ooh.
I'm pretty sure I've won. Pretty sure? Totally sure.
I think we're tied then. 69's hit three times.
Yes, but I think you were away for one of them. Billy picks it every time.
No, no. When guys are around the 16, you know they do just like that.
Because I hit 18 three times, then you guys Like that 11 year old Who smokes cigarettes He's just his favorite Number 69 I was there for all Is this still cool To tell 69 jokes If you're like 11 I was there for all Of 69's hits I feel like 69 is We can't make 69 jokes anymore Billy has the most No I don't If he says so I don't think Like the guy That gets the 69 Softball jersey. The first one was the first hit ever.

When somebody makes us a jersey, they'll make us a 69 jersey.

We're like, we don't tell 69 jokes anymore.

The first one was the first hit ever.

The second one was coming back from suspension the first time.

I noticed you mentioned come again.

Or no, the third time. Third time was over Zoom.

Or no, the third time... I have the dates.

Oh my god, Jake's got the

suspension.

You do not want to argue with the guy who has it.

Then it actually hit back-to-back July 8th and July 11th.

2021.

I feel like that was...

I think you were on suspension.

No, I was. I was back after July 4th.
I was. I think so.
I was gone for June. I remember one time he hit it, and it was awkward because you guys got mad at him, and then you didn't celebrate.
Yeah, there was that awkward time, and then I hit it right after. So he definitely hit it twice.
I don't know about the third. I've hit it all four times? I've hit it three times.
His 18s hit it four times, but after I won 18 on the third, you're like, win it with a different team. Yeah.
Move on. You're a system player.
Yeah. What's up with 18? Is 18 like...
This is my lucky number. Okay.
But I mean, maybe there's some weight distribution in that. I don't know.
All we know is Hank has never won. That would be 52, nine times.
Wow. Nine times.
Yeah. 52, one, one.
All right. So Billy and Jake are tied for three.
And Hank has zero Billy's saying he has four it's three I got that wrong good accountability but then you did say pretty sure not totally sure how much have you been to these days this is all over by the way we're just talking oh I just try to see if I get 315 a couple times. Yeah, just toss it around.
MK? 677? What do you mean? Just wondering. I'm surprised you ever talked to me about benching.
It wasn't even that in. Um...
Crocodiles have a bite force down, but are actually very weak at opening their mouths.

That's why you can hold their mouths together.

All right, now we're really done. Thank you.
Say it to me Thanks for that and to be safe and sorry Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You all think I've got to do it anyway. You shine on me.
You all can do it anyway.

You shine on me.

You all can do it anyway.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Take me home.
Thank you. Take on me.
Take on me. Thank you.