Broncos HC Nathaniel Hackett, Grit Week Recap And Denver Airport Review + Mt Rushmore Of Candy

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, Broncos head coach Nathaniel Hackett. Awesome interview with him.
I think we're Nathaniel Hackett, guys. Big time.
Big time Nathaniel Hackett, guys. Talk to him about his rise in coaching, unbelievable Blake Bortles story, and a lot more have a very packed show we're going to recap grit week we do a little fire fest we're going to do a Mount Rushmore of candy and our third ever airport review let's go airport review of Denver Denver's airport the Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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Okay, let's go. I do our shin, and you can't blame me, I'll understand, but don't let them know we're

gonna rock onto electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, we're gonna rock onto electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, higher, It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Coors Light, the greatest beer. Ooh, that sounded great.
That snapped. The greatest beer ever.
Today is Friday, August 12th, and this is a monumental occasion right now. If you're listening to this show, you are listening to the first ever podcast that every single member of climbed mount everest yeah let's go boys equivalent honestly mount everest low-key mid for real dude i i mean dogs were hiking mount everest there were like old ladies hiking mount everest but we did it people were running up and down people were running up and down it're going to have a whole video next week sometime, the Mount Everest equivalent climb.
But yeah, that's maybe the week after Batgirl's giving me the no, no, no, no, no, no. Because it is going to be probably the hardest video to ever edit because we just walked in circles around a mountain and called it Mount Everest equivalent.
Let's just put it out today. Let's put it out Friday.
Yeah, that's perfect. If the video is not out friday tweet tweet at batgirl he's at philly maze on twitter and be like hey when's the mount everest video coming out we'll put a short tiny clip in the youtube video yeah okay yeah perfect but we did it we did it you were listening there's no other podcast i'll add another there's no other podcast that is anti-nazi and also climb mount everest equivalent for sure no chance chance.
Because any other podcast that has climbed Mount Everest, Nazis. Probably Nazis.
For sure. So, Grit Week.
This is a finale. Grit Week.
What a week it was. I had a blast with the boys.
I really did. This has been one of my favorite Grit Weeks of all time.
We've experienced a lot of things together. We've gone through some shit.
We've experienced a little adversity. Yep.
A lot of happy times. Got some things done that maybe we didn't think we were going to be able to get done this week every day was we we did so much it felt like there was just a ton every day was jam-packed we went for the hike with the boys went out to dinner we went to a bar last night little sundown saloon shout out the sundown saloon probably the greatest dive bar in in in colorado yeah i wish there were cigs inside there but that's a small complaint yep uh billy did some food challenges yeah jake really showed out uh jake wait for some of the videos that come out because jake is he's an alpha mode he's alpha plus we've filmed a lot of stuff that's going to be coming out which is good it's it's grit week and then you're also you know the awls will get the the runoff yeah the runoff that's coming too that we we haven't announced it's coming a runoff of Grit Week as well.
And Batgirl had a great week. First week on the road with us producing.
Memes, I'd be looking over my shoulder. Batgirl, he had a great week.
Really good week, Memes. Well, they are a team.
Really good week. Also, shout out the guy, the AWL, who gave us mushrooms.
Because those were great. That was nice.
Like we said, we were given all kinds of drugs in our meet and greet. I took Viagra yesterday before I went to Broncos training camp because I was told it would help with the altitude.
Yeah. And then PFT mysteriously went to the bathroom for like 15 minutes.
Like, uh-oh. It's called taking a shit.
Yeah. And also jerking off.
After being like sitting on the bus was getting me raked up. We hit a rumble strip and I got real horny horny well it just chubbed up a little bit and it doesn't make you horny it just makes you it redirects blood you're bricked up watching russell wilson practice i was bricked up well he's got that cake russell wilson that's one thing we learned at broncos training camp guys built like a dump truck he is he is he's got a fat ass saw john elway stretching john camp was so boring by the way we went by the way.
We went to the most boring day. No, they said it to us.
Thank you to the Broncos because it was incredible they had us out there. But they were like, yeah, you guys came kind of on the worst day because we're just doing no pads, like half-speed scrimmage.
Not even a scrimmage. But it was cool to be out there.
It was great. Condoleezza Rice was out there with a new ownership group.
So Nathaniel Hackett, he was looking over his shoulder being like, uh-oh, head coach and waiting's here. Yeah.
I think Peyton Manning was at practice as well. We believe.
We believe, yeah. It was a big day for the Broncos.
It was cool to be out there. Thank you again to the Broncos.
They really helped us out a lot. Rolled out the red carpet.
Made us feel welcome there. I had Nathaniel Hackett.
It's coming up, but it was a great interview. Guy that I don't know how you can't root for this guy.
Russell Wilson didn't miss a pass the entire time, although he's just throwing against goes. No, one interception.
One interception, yeah, one interception. Hit Jerry Judy's face mask.
That's right. Every pass that Russell Wilson threw ended in a touchdown.
No balls hit the ground, actually. I think it was taken directly out of his face mask on Jerry Judy.
He made the defensive coordinator puke. Yeah, that's right.
Also, we had Russell Wilson after practice was over. Everyone got off the field.
Russell Wilson was the last guy on there doing some mental reps. So Broncos country, you guys are ready to roll.
Next level. Yeah, let's ride.
Next level mental reps. We saw our good friend Graham Glasgow there.
Yep. He's a grit-week veteran, right? Yeah.
I feel like that's when we spoke to him and tj lang it all goes together yes we saw him saw ross russ russ walked by noticed big cat went over to him gave him a big hug and said hey badger to badger let's get this let's ride yeah let's ride um anything else i mean it was it was a great week we we we worked a lot but last night we got to go you know to the, play some darts, play some shuffleboard, maybe have some mushrooms in our brains. It was great.
Yeah, it was an awesome win in Rome. Torchy's fucked me and Hank up bad because we showed up to Torchy's and we thought it was a sit-down restaurant.
And then Hank and I just spent like 15 minutes giggling in line trying to figure out what to order i ordered seven tacos the guy behind the counter was like i think i think you've ordered enough like he said that to me he was like you i think you're good i was like i don't know man seven yeah i just went down the line as a torchies veteran i ordered off the secret menu i got the ace of spades taco highly recommend wow but i ordered it and the lady stared at me like we don't sell that taco here and she looked at me like i was crazy for a second i was like oh yeah you were on mushrooms maybe maybe this might be your brain like misdirecting you yes it was her first day on the job so she didn't know about the secret menu had to educate the people yes uh okay any any other grit week highlights i mean there's not a lot going on in the sports world we got we got football tonight. Obviously, the news, Tom Brady has left Bucs camp for like a week and a half.
Seems like it's somewhat serious, so going to just hope that everything's okay. He's coming back after the second preseason game.
Kyle Shanahan is getting into some hat beef with the NFL right now, and we're big fans of Kyle Shanahan's hats with the logos that get smaller and smaller every year in those little squares. So he said, I have such a beef with them right now.
They won't let me pick out my own hat. They won't let me wear anyone that's from a previous year.
So I can't wear like an older one. I've got to wear the new ones that they give this year.
Unfortunately, there's none that I like wearing. So hopefully we can figure it out or wait till salute to service.
I guess he likes that hat. That's weird.
They're policing coaches hats They're policing coaches' hats on the sidelines. Damn.
This might be a Goodell thing where he's going to police it, and then next year he's going to be like, everyone can wear whatever they want. Yeah, for sure.
The fun is back in the NFL. Kyle Shanahan suspended for six games for wearing the wrong hat.
But coaches should be allowed to wear helmets on the sidelines. Full pads.
Or just, I was actually thinking he could have a video hat that has that tiny little square on it yeah it says 49ers and have it just bounce around like the dvd logo and when they score it hits the corner yeah and then it breaks when he's in a playoff game that in the fourth just shuts down yeah it's just like his brain is just broken um also deshaun watson is starting preseason game one that's kind of awkward i would say weird that is i don't know yeah which kind of what kind of reception do you think he's going to get? Is it in Cleveland, the first game? Let's just say if it's in Cleveland, he'll be warmly received. They are in Jacksonville.
Oh, he's going to get booed. Here's the nice thing about, though, Cleveland, because they have the dog pound, you could be like, oh, they're actually barking for me.
Yeah. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
Yeah, so if he's in Jacksonville, it would be very awkward if he got like a hamstring sprain or a tear during the game somebody had to come out and actually like massage his leg yeah that's where we need the chair yeah the sideline not the electric chair well maybe but no but the actual massage chair he needs to go to just actually if deshaun watson were smart he would get a sharper image uh like ad deal all right hi i'm deshaun watson i'm here for brookstone yeah i i just like to sit in the chairs they're robots not humans um okay i think that's i think we should we do fire fest real quick let's do it let's do it all right hank why don't you start us off let's get it uh my fire fest we kind of alluded kind of alluded to it. We were at the dive bar.
We were playing darts.

It was me and Batgirl versus PFT and Kacob.

And I'm not a great darts player.

I know that.

I wasn't playing well.

I wasn't really talking a lot of shit.

I'm going to throw a flag on that second one.

And Batgirl said there's a 0% chance we lose this because PFT could barely hit the board.

We had an early lead.

That's just not true.

And Batgirl was like 0% chance we lose this. Then, and barely hit the board it was we were had an early lead that's just not true and and back girls like zero percent chance we lose this then and again i never said i was good i never acted like i'm not touching the mic okay he's touching the mic stand i'm just saying that's the difference in the mic anyway uh back girls has zero percent chance we lose jake's throwing he's got an unusual throwing motion to say the least throws it like a baseball but i was But I was watching it, and I was like, I was throwing it bad, and I was like, I can't watch this and not try it myself.
Jake just turned that into bulletin board material, and they came back and won, and he started screaming. We're in a dive bar, casual, having fun.
Great jukebox, old school jukebox. Screaming at me, like, you can't watch this! You can't watch this!? He picked the...
I don't know about screaming. There was some screaming.
It was an interesting dichotomy because we had like John Prine on the jukebox. Yeah.
Angels of Montgomery was going and you were just full of mushrooms and you're screaming at him. In your face, Hank.
Which was... It was warranted because Hank is glossing over a lot of the parts where he was talking a lot of shit.
And, Hank, I started to make points once I understood what the rules of the game were.

You fucked up by explaining the rules to me.

You should just let me go on my merry way.

Because I thought we were playing like his way.

That they were playing on their dartboard.

But, yeah, me and Jake, we just...

It was a comeback for the ages.

It was like 28 to 3.

So what's the Firefest here?

The Firefest was that, you know, we were just having some fun on some mushrooms.

And then I got Jake Marsh screaming in my face after a guarantee from back girl. It was tough.
It was tough to swallow. Very tough.
And it's just not, that's like, kind of, it's just the vibe, not the vibe you're going for. Yeah.
Killed the vibe. I was like, killed the vibe.
Yeah. You killed the vibe.
By coming back to the wedding? No, you killed the vibe. Yeah.
It was screaming in my face. Yeah.
But I wasn't talking shit. Scared him.
I enjoyed the vibe. Yeah.
Strong vibes. This is good.
I like the end of Grit Week because it's been a great week. It's been a lot of fun.
But I think we're also all ready to just go sit in our own apartment for a minute and just be like decompress for a second. I'm fine with it.
I'm enjoying Big Cat's company. I'm enjoying everyone's company.
I think it's really just Jake and Hank that are button heads right now. I'm fine if you're fine, Hank.
I'm great. Are you sure you're great? No, you just made it your FireFest.
I don't know. You guys are having a grade-off? Who's better? Who's greater? Yeah.
Jake's better. Yeah? He's the best in the bus.
Best in the office. Yeah, best in the bus.
Okay. Yeah, he didn't deny that.
All right, PFT or FireFest? Okay, this is kind of a group FireFest for us because I just got this information a second ago um so we haven't discussed it yet on the podcast but part of my take was slated to do a live show in new york city at the beacon theater in november it was going to be for the new york city comedy festival we were very excited to do it it was going to be a massive show and i just got information that that date has been pulled from us because James Dolan owns the Beacon Theater. Oh, shit.
And we are the fucking bad boys of podcasting. We're banned from the Beacon Theater because of James Dolan.
Okay, so we- Future us. That's great.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, cheers, boys. That's great.
Cheers. We don't have to do it.
Well, no, we're looking at other venues right now. Yeah, but cheers.
As of right now, that weekend of right now that weekend that Saturday night has opened up But we're banned from the Beacon Theater That's actually great I'm so happy I can see your eyes I thought you were going to be like we have to do two shows What was the date? November something Give me the date Yeah no i um listen i want to watch your eyes are like oh my god yeah i mean like i've always said that if we could just invent a thing that just makes november 12th oh god what it's my cousin's wedding oh wow i don't know uh so jake's not gonna be there so uh neither are we we don't know why we got banned technically we've said a lot of things about James Dolan I mean we have an employee that hisses at him I've been I've been kicked out and arrested At the dog show I think it might have to do maybe with the dog show That we got arrested at Hank Or the fire Dolan shirts And countless whatever reason, we've made a very powerful, hilarious enemy. Yeah, I mean, Alabama at Ole Miss.
Texas A&M at Auburn. LSU at Arkansas is going to be a great game.
Yeah, Wisconsin, Iowa. That'll probably be at noon.
Definitely be at noon. Nebraska, Michigan.
So, yeah, I mean, I'm okay with it. We're looking at new at new venues right now so there are a couple that want us to perform there during that during that weekend so my couch a venue we'll try to set something up but the the good news is it gives us great street cred right now yes yes yeah yeah but we got banned yep yeah okay i want to next time i see him next time i see him it's on site i'm slapping james dolan.
I'm slapping the kazoo out of his mouth. Aw, shucks.
We should rent out Madison Square Garden. Can we just rent it out just for ourselves and not even do a show? Not anymore.
There's a price for everything. I wonder what his price is.
Yeah. We get paid a lot in Bored Apes.
Let's give him all of our Bored Apes. Yeah them my, yeah.
Yeah. And I'll toss in three Slurp Juices.
Yeah. I'll put in some Ass Coin.
I'll match. Yeah.
And some Cum Rocket. Okay.
My Fire Fest. I told you guys this when we were out just playing a little Frisbee golf, which is some videos coming in probably a month.
But we were at the hotel. We stayed at the same hotel in Boulder two nights.

And, uh, the person who was working the like little cafe, I went to get my coffee on Tuesday and she made my coffee. And then she was like, I gotta, I'm putting up this sign.
I gotta go to the potty. And it's been in my head since.
and I don't like another adult tell an adult telling another adult I have to go use the potty

is to the potty and it's been in my head since and i don't like another adult tell an adult telling another adult i have to go use the potty is the most cringeworthy like i can't get out of my head she said that she has to be a part-time kindergarten teacher i i was just like what are you i was looking around like who is like your little kid here or something like who says i have to go she said twice too she's like i gotta go to the potty to me and then she was walking away and said it to one of her co-workers like gonna use the potty i was like what's going on here maybe that's colorado slang maybe that's what they said what was the co-worker's reaction was the co-worker like cringing from it no i think the co-workers i think i think she says all the time i think she's the potty girl yeah she just is like maybe she just got potty trained maybe like not too long ago either way it's both good and bad because i haven't got out of my head but it's good because that's a very minor fire fest that's how fun we how much fun we've had this week and uh just being with the boys and being on the road and having laughs and driving around so shout out reg by the way our bus driver reggie's been killing it he's been he's been absolutely crushing it so yeah pottyty. That one's going to stick with me.
I don't know how to get that out of my head. I want to go back and just be like, did you mean to say that? Because you probably say it a lot, actually.
I say it to my kids, yeah, but I would never say it to another adult. Never catch me saying potty.
Okay, Billy, Firefest. My digestive system has been a wreck.
Been doing a lot with it lately With the food challenges Not gonna reveal what happened But it's just been wrecking my system So a lot of volume, a lot of mass Coming in, coming out How's your butt doing? Terrible The butt's bad? Like burning? Do you think it has anything to do with all the cum in your belly? Sure. Cum belly, Billy.
Cum belly football. Cum belly.
Perfect. Perfect.
There was one day where Billy was late getting to the bus because he was on the toilet, which would have been a great excuse for being late to the bus. But instead, right off the bat, Billy was like, this wasn't the time that we were supposed to all be here.
Yeah, so I be here like if you had just said I was shitting out the results of the last food challenge that I did I think that's more than true the thing was I was pissed because I was hurrying my shit because I would have taken longer and I was like well I got till 8.45 so I gotta get it done and then I rushed it and wasn't doing well then got on the bus and by

8.43. It was a very

Billy moment because he got on the bus at 8.45.

We were all on the bus. We had said

the night before we were like let's meet at 8.45

actually let's meet at 8.30 and we

said 8.30. All of us were here

at 8.30 and he's like that's

not what was said even though everyone

was here. He still thinks it was said.

He still thinks we were all wrong. He was

right. Yeah I mean

just say that you were saying. I'm sorry.
Remember we had that talk

I don't know. not what was said even though everyone was here he still thinks it was said he still thinks we were all wrong he was right yeah i mean just say that you're sorry we had to talk on the mountain like sometimes taking little l's is not a big deal yes yeah also it's being like i was 15 minutes late not we didn't even care it was just funny because you were like you guys are wrong i'm right you know i was in a shitty mood yeah literally yes yes and to a beast on the mountain.
Yes, he was. He was our fucking- That was to be expected.
He was our, what is it called? Sherpa. No.
The rabbit who leads the pack. The rabbit.
Yeah, yeah. For the marathon.
Yeah, I would say- Yeah, you were out there leading the pack. You were a Sherpa.
You were Sherpa adjacent. It was so- I can't wait till the video comes out to see some of these views, because it was so beautiful.
You had a great week, Billy. And Billy found a snake, too.

Yeah.

Actually, do I want to say you had a great week?

Because then he probably... It's probably going to take a couple weeks off.

What are the other grades of grit?

It's like Alpha Plus Standard Grit.

Billy, you did your job this week.

I think you had Standard Grit this week.

Room for improvement, even though you were great.

There's no way you cannot improve enough.

Right.

Nice.

Nice.

I just don't want...

Sometimes when we give compliments, there's a setback. But you did a great job this week.
I did it again. You did a standard job this week.
Yeah. Standard plus.
No, you can't say thank you because you did your job. So you did your job.
Expected. Yes.
There we go. Alright, Jake, finish us off then we're going to get to Nathaniel Hackett.
Yeah, I have two quick ones. First off, I clogged theged the hotel toilet at midnight last night what i had to call and they brought up the plunger that someone clogged my toilet too oh yeah yeah that happens all the time so wait jake how much how much did you have to eat for dinner last night i thought it was a pretty standard meal three tacos i chipped myself to death thanks oh dude i was your name whatever yeah we were sitting there eating and i i like the food just wasn't out there and i had had two whole baskets of chips yeah and i was so tacos are big yes i had seven of them we ordered some no i i took a bite of every one yeah so that was tough i did i over ordered for our table as well i think it got three separate things of chips and dips.
And yeah, Jake housed those. I feel like hotel toilets are usually invincible.
No, wrong, wrong. You don't shit hard enough.
I've only clogged like twice in my life. Oh, dude.
Again, someone clogs my toilet almost every time I go to a different hotel. Jake, when it gives you the two options of which one to push, do you always go for the small one? Not if you're peeing.
Well, if you're pooping, you have the big one. I even go big one when I'm peeing.
Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Save the water.
You gotta flush that out. Yeah, there's a lot in there.
The environment, though. Yeah.
It's fucked anyways. We do our parts sometimes.
Yeah, we height. Yeah, exactly.
It reduced greenhouse emissions by, I don't know, what is the measurement? two carbon footprints i think i nailed that if we had driven a car up mount everest it would have been a lot more yes and then uh second quickly you guys mentioned broncos camp we were with the journalist yesterday and i felt very uncomfortable because i was wearing basketball shorts yeah i knew we were going to say something the guy from the broncos pulled us aside and they're like hey what what's the story with old – does he have a pickup game later? I saw – We were all in shorts, and I was like, ugh. There was a writer from The Athletic, and they're like – he was just like, wait, are you guys like – are you trying to play, or what's going on here? Why the fuck is this guy in basketball shorts? So not very Big Jamie, so I apologize.
Yeah, it was a little embarrassing, but it was. You're still young.
Yeah. Right.
So you can use that excuse yeah it's your first training camp stop stop stop doing that with the wire hank you're stepping on my wire don't touch the mic you're stepping on my wire i'm absolutely not you why does it keep going tight that's it yes you're stepping on my wire okay speaking of broncos camp let's go to niel Hackett. So we're going to go Nathaniel Hackett.
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Simplisafe.com slash PMT. Okay, here he is, Broncos head coach, Nathaniel Hackey.
This Grit Week interview is brought to you by Coors Light. We now welcome on a very special guest.
He is the head coach of the Denver Broncos. It is Nathaniel Hackett.
Nate or Nathaniel? Well, either one's good. If dad's around, you've got to call me Nathaniel.
Okay, all right, we'll just go with coach. Let's go with coach.
Nate is good, too. So it's Grit Week, and we start every interview the same way.
How would you define the word grit? Ooh, I've got a lot of things kind of – Go. Do them all.
Brain dump. I remember my dad used true grit, so that's the first thing that hits me when he was at the Pitt Panthers, and they had this awesome shirt, and they had this whole thing, and it was all true grit, true grit, and they sucked.
So right when I hear grit, I'm like, ah, it's one of those words people try to use to spice you up. But no, I think it's something, it's about toughness.
It's about toughness and perseverance. Yeah, I read that your dad was the director of special projects for the Oakland Raiders.
He was at the time, yes. That sounds like a, was he a spy? What is a special project? You know, that's a great question.
Special projects is somebody that's very special. I like to think they feel good about themselves and they just do random stuff.
You know, they just, whatever somebody wants to do, they'll go ahead and do it. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, your, your background is interesting because your dad obviously coached for 40 years was at every level.
You were around pros your whole life. I was.
And then, but you, you know, I was reading a story that you were 50-50 going to be a doctor at one point. Yes.
And I actually have a question about that story. There was, they alluded to it at the beginning.
They're like, you had a moment of clarity where you were doing a prank on everyone and no one laughed. What was the prank? They didn't say the prank.
You know, we were doing some things with an animal to try to test it. And, you know, when you get those different arteries and veins, you kind of can squeeze them off.
And, you know, if you turn one and let it go, it's like a super soaker, you know. And you can still keep it alive while you're working through everything.
And I thought it would be funny. To spray everyone with blood.
I mean, it was just a little bit. It's one of those things you go through these labs, you've got to learn so many things.
And, I mean, you've got to write all these papers and you're just locked into all the notes and all the different things you're doing. And it's exhausting.
And so, of course, my natural being is I want to have a little fun and try to spice it up a little bit. And some people were upset at me for that.
And, uh, but in the end it was, it was, you know, all for science and something we were trying to do and knew that, uh, my personality might not work in that world. I just love the story because it's like, how did you decide you wanted to be a football coach? Well, I sprayed blood on everyone and no one laughed.
That's pretty much it. And it wasn't a lot.
It was, it was just a little i slipped my hand it wasn't even a prank i didn't know i was gonna do it my hand started to kind of slip and all of a sudden it was oh look at this now we're gonna be good so there's not a lot of room in the medical community for practical jokers yeah i don't think you want me doing surgery but then you go from that and you know you know thinking about being a doctor and you started at the the bottom. I would imagine you could have had all the connections in the world with your dad.
That was actually funny. I think my dad might not have really helped me.
I think a lot of people were pissed off at him because anytime you'd ask somebody, they're like, nope, we got nothing. I sent out 30 letters to all kinds of different teams just trying to become a graduate assistant, just do anything I could.
And I got out of those 30, I got two responses back out of the 30 and both were no. And I was like, well, maybe, maybe I should go back to med school or something like that.
And, and then ended up at the last second, a guy that had coached me at Davis had gotten a job at Stanford and allowed me to come in and interview with Buddy Teevens. thing I know, I'm right back in the mix and worked through there and all over the place.
Yeah. Yeah.
You had a great journey of a lot of guys that we know too. Yeah.
And so you worked with John Gruden, right? At one point? I did. Yes.
What was he like? Was he, I've heard from some people that he can be like a mentor if he likes you. And then if it's, you know, if you're still new on the job, your job is to get coffee and that's pretty much it.
Where did you fall on that spectrum? You know, I think the amount of football that John taught me while I was with him was unbelievable. I mean, he has a Ph.D.
in football. I mean, you put in a playbook, and you've got every single play ever designed throughout the NFL, and he's so good.
So the amount of football I learned there. So really it was kind of put yourself in a room and draw as many pass plays as you possibly could to try to keep up with his mind.
And that's really all I did. I just locked myself in the room and just tried to draw every single thing I could.
I think I drew like 16,000 passes I have archived in just two years. So it was quite intense.
Did he use any of your plays? You know, one time he did. One time I remember.
And it was pretty cool. It was versus the – we got got it from the Pittsburgh Steelers and it was a cool play, which a lot of people start running now, which is cool.
So you're an innovator. I kind of stole it from somebody else and thought it was a good idea.
You couldn't be too innovative. You had to be sure you had the tape to show them that they would like it.
It's interesting because the day that we're here, we're at Broncos training camp and it's a big day for the Broncos it is the walton family just officially i guess finalized their purchase yesterday so there are a lot of people here condoleezza rice is here i think peyton's here a bunch of people so um an easy question to start you off get you in good graces what is your favorite part about walmart you know they just did redid the walmart that i grew up going to when i was a kid at New Hampshire. And I think it's one of those things, going in there and seeing how unbelievably huge it was, and now they got the grocery stores in it.
Yeah. I think that blew my mind.
Yeah. I mean, it was a nice grocery store, too.
And to be able to go one-stop shop, I think, is always great. You can get a little bit of everything.
You can get some peanuts. You can get a movie, TV.
Yeah. I mean, want you're gonna find there okay so this interview's over we actually the walden family paid us a million dollars to just check if you said that you're more of a target guy i was gonna kill you yeah yeah i have a gun i'm pretty sure that wouldn't go well if i was if i was doing that um everything i've read like you you know everyone talks about your coaching style and that you love laughter and not taking everything so seriously.
Has there ever been a moment though where you maybe were joking around too much and it was like, whoops, like that was, that didn't, should have been more serious in this moment because I love it. Like, you know, we interview football guys all the time.
A lot of them are buttoned up, you know, don't want to show any personality. Feels like you're kind of the opposite.
I mean, opposite I mean I don't know I'm just gonna be me you know I think that that's kind of what it comes down to and you know I've always gone with the philosophy that when you're you know when you're positive when you are the way that you are when all of a sudden you're pissed off at something it it they feel that a little more yeah so it's not you know if you're angry all the time sometimes they don't know if you're mad and if. And if you're being nice, they don't know if you're like what's going on.
Something's really wrong. So, you know, I just think, you know, I mean, I've naturally been a positive guy, happy to be alive, happy to be doing football.
And, you know, in the end, you know, if things aren't going right, you've got to hold people accountable. And as long as you can speak.
I love those uncomfortable moments. You know, I think those are always the best.
I embrace those things when other people sometimes, whether they shy away from it or don't like it. But, I mean, in the end, it's about communication, accountability, and having a great time doing it.
Can I ask you an uncomfortable question? It depends right now. Do I get a hint? I have a very uncomfortable question.
I've had some really weird hints. I look where you've been.
You've had a lot of success. You've coached some great quarterbacks.
E.J. Manuel.
What would you say to all the people? Because there are a lot of them out there that said, hey, you just rode Blake Bortles' coattails to that AFC championship game. I did, without a doubt.
Without a doubt. That's my dude.
That is my dude. He's a grinder, toughest, smart guy.
I had a had a blast working with him lake is he is the man he's one of our favorite people in the world and you brought him into green bay right yeah so was there was aaron like looking over his shoulder when blake's like hey why are you bringing this guy and take my job we were just so excited to have him in the room you know how blake is when he all of a sudden gets in the room it brightens it up even more um would you like like, so I told you before that I texted Blake and said that we're going to be interviewing you.

Would you like me to read the text message he sent back?

So he said two text messages.

This could be very exciting.

One is great, and the other is you're never expect the other one.

You know, we've been through a lot being Blake.

This is very great.

So he said the first message was, what a legend, he's my hero.

Yes.

Okay. The second message was, one time his youngest son told me I had a big wiener.
Top three compliments of my life. That was one of the greatest moments, I would say, of my life also.
This is so blatant. Well, the great thing was it was so simple.
It was so beautiful. It was wieners? Well, here comes my – when you're out there and you've got the family tents, right, and the kids are so excited to come out.
I mean, I remember as a kid growing up when dad was done coaching, you know, you just want to go hug dad and see dad. And so, you know, my kids were there, and they were so excited, and they know Blake really well, and they love Blake.
And, you know, my kid at that time, you know, he was, like, perfect, you know, height for Right. And so he sees Blake and he just, I mean, we're talking full head of steam, just running and running.
And Blake's like, oh God, what do I do? And kind of like was right here. And he just runs right into his happy spot.
And it was just, it was like a bounce off and just this innocent, just, just, wow, you have a huge, and Blake's like, you are my favorite person in the world. Thank you.
You know, I'm just sitting here. I'm like, oh, how do you forget something like that? I mean, it was, it was absolutely fantastic.
Cause it was just totally innocent. Oh, like wants to hug it.
Blake's got his helmet. Oh, what am I doing? Oh, and it was that awkward moment.
And everybody's just like, that's beautiful. Yeah, no, that was a great moment in football.
Top three moment of his life, he said. I would say that that was pretty spectacular to be part of.
Yeah. So Blake, like, he is, we love him.
He is one of our, like, OG guests, guys. Like, he's one of those guys you really care for.
What, like, when you first were around him, were you like, this guy is just cool? Because he is. He's a he is he's just dude man yeah he's a dude i mean he's one of those guys that you know he it's funny he doesn't say much but i mean he's just gonna grind it out he's gonna do everything he can you know he's gonna try his hardest you know the toughest guy i mean he took some shots those years and just watching him over and over and i mean he wouldn't miss practice he wouldn't was i mean no happened, I mean, that was the stuff that I had so much respect for him just throughout that whole process.
I mean, he was great. So you have a lot of respect for him.
You don't want to sign him? I mean, what's going on? Last I heard, I think he might have called it. No, no, no, no, no.
This is my problem because we were talking to LaFleur last week when we were in Green Bay, and he was like, oh, I miss Blake. It's like you have the ability to change that.
That is true. That is true.
So right here, right now, Nathaniel Hackett, will you sign Blake Portals? You know, I think I need to have a conversation with him and the general manager and the new owners. You know, we can't get crazy here.
He promises he won't give everyone COVID this time, like he did last time he was on the Broncos. It happens.
It happens. Yeah, all right.
We're going to, I think, I'm going to hold you to that. I think that was a guarantee.
What better way to dramatically increase the value of your franchise right off the bat than if you signed Blake Borders? He's the best. He's the best.
You got to love the boat. He is the boat.
What about Doug Marone? He's another one of our guys. I don't know what your relationship is like with him now.
I know there was a falling out at some point, but you were with him. You were with him for a long time.
Long time. And the rumors are true about the amount of bologna that he consumes.
He definitely can eat a lot of bologna. Did he try to force it on you? Because when he came to our studio, he brought probably conservatively like $300 worth of bologna and made us eat it with him.
But he's a great dude, and we love him. No doubt.
And he definitely would talk about it. I'm going to go home.
I need of bologna and made us eat it with him but he's a great dude we love him no doubt and he he definitely would talk about hey i'm gonna go home and eat a bologna sandwich and and it's one of those things at first you know you weren't sure if you know it's not a lot of people eat bologna um but then after getting to know him after all those years yeah yep he's gonna go have a bologna sandwich and he's gonna enjoy the heck out of it yeah that's where it is yeah those jags teams man I'm still upset about that AFC championship game. Oh, gosh, okay.
That hurt. Why are we bringing up all that stuff? Because it pisses me off because the Jaguars should have been in the Super Bowl.
You guys beat the Patriots that year. I mean, you know, that's how it goes.
You know, that's how the game goes. You can control what you can control, and we still had an opportunity at the end there.
But, yeah, that one, I'll always go back i thought the guys played so well that whole year i mean especially when you go into a season and nobody expects you to do anything and i mean nobody thinks you're going to be good and then you're one of the best offenses in the league you're number one in rushing i mean the way those guys came together and then you know going into that game and everybody you know after the pittsburgh game you know how well they all played and then you get into a game like that and you're rolling. I mean, you're playing with the Patriots.
The guys are feeling good. And then you blink and forever reason, whatever reason, it's all of a sudden you're in two minutes trying to go.
I mean, that was very unique and a unique situation. But, hey, that's what happens.
Yeah. So, all right, so you've coached a ton of different quarterbacks.
Let's take Blake out of it because we love Blake, and he's going to be a future Bronco. All the quarterbacks that you've coached, including Russ, who's the best? Oh, you know, they're all so great for so many different reasons.
If you were to say one first. I would sit here, and I'm just so grateful to be coaching everybody.
You could say Russ. I'm giving you an easy out.
I would say Russ and everybody. Yeah, Russ.
So number one, you said Russ. Number two, everybody.
Yeah, okay. Okay, Russ.
I would say there's like one A and then one A and then one A. But who's the first A is Russ.
Well, it depends because if you close your eyes, you can shuffle them around. They're all the same, but they're all A's.
So there's one A, and then there's one A-A-R-O-N. And then you add another A.
Pat Lewis and Ray Rogers in the same conversation. All of them, just the best I've ever met.
And they're all amazing. I was personally blown away with Russell Wilson's performance today at practice.
I think it was like 100%. I think it was awesome.
What did we say, Jake? He was like 21 for 22 with 20 touchdowns. It was pretty good.
It was unreal. It was pretty good.
Best performance I've ever seen. We'd like to try to build people's confidence up here.
Yeah. I've heard about his mental reps that he's been taking.
A lot of mental reps. Next level mental reps.
Do you know what goes in? Like what makes a mental rep a next level mental rep? When it's super thought about and it's like super mental. Yeah.
Yes. Extra mental.
So he's like putting himself into his own virtual reality. I would say yes.
Like every fan in the stands has a unique face to him. Yes.
He hears the play call. Yes.
He looks around, sees protection. Is he really that? He waves to somebody over on the side.
Yeah. Yep.
Is he really that fastidious? That's a nice SAT word. Yeah, that was sick.
Wow. Is he really that? What does that mean? Can we look that up? Detail oriented.
Is that really a word? Is he really that fastidious? That's a nice SAT word. Wow.
What does that mean? Can we look that up? Detail-oriented. Is that really a word? Is he really that much more detail-oriented than other quarterbacks? I would say you always heard about how into the game he is and how he's obsessed with the process and he's obsessed with practice and all those things.
You hear that. Everybody always always says those things but now being around him i mean it's facts i mean the guy is non-stop i mean you can get a text message anytime during the day during the night and he's got an idea or he's got wants to do something to try to push the guys over the limit so i mean he is uh he is definitely obsessed with the process what's he like on text is he an emoji guys guy? He emphasizes his message? He emphasizes all of his own messages? It is a great mix-up because you'll get a little voice, then you'll get a text, then you'll get some emojis.
It's a real good mix. I like it.
How many deep shots a game are we going for? Is that something? Because we think about the sport a lot differently, obviously, than coaches. You just want the ball down the field.
Yeah, we're like, dude let's take a shot usually it's when i have the over but is there a number though that you're like we want to take this many shots you know it's funny because after doing this as long as i have my favorite thing is when everybody's like oh you're you didn't take any shots down the field oh that's so conservative you know and you're like well we called like 15 shots and the defense took it away you don't want the guy just to throw the ball to throw the ball down the field i do want him to make him i do yeah it depends if you have the over or who you got i want the shot yeah yeah but so for us we're always wanting to be aggressive we're always trying to make those explosive plays those are the things that get people in the stands that's what they're excited about so i think that you know you're always trying to be aggressive and sometimes they work and you get what you want and then the quarterback has to be efficient and sometimes you check it down to a halfback or a tight end or something like that but i mean we're always going to be very aggressive okay i like that the shots all the time shots all the time i got everybody i got a very important question this is going to kind of decide the the rest of this interview okay i've read a lot about um you love austin powers so much so that you call the red zone the gold zone for a gold member. It's not that good of a movie.
Whoa. Yeah, me saying that is that offensive.
Are you that obsessed with the movie? I'm going to say because you know the content of this whole thing, you know where I am with this movie. But yes, I think it's a spectacular movie.
Because it's a little bizarre to be like, that's my favorite movie. I'm not going to say it's my favorite movie because I love movies.
Well, you named The Red Zone after it. Well, yeah, because everybody talks about third down.
Third down is the money down. Yeah.
So you get third down is the money down. You got to keep the drive going.
Well, why does everybody call it The Red Zone? I guess that makes sense. Why would I want to stop? Yeah.
I mean, you can call it the green zone, but everybody uses that for third down. And if we're talking about money, I want the gold zone.
I mean, touchdowns give you gold. I mean, you see that? And then who? And here you go.
Who loves gold more than anything? Gold member. Yeah.
I knew that answer. We're there.
Now you see where it happened. How many times have you seen it? Solid amount of times.
How many times? You know, I'd say about 10, 12 times if I had to go all the way through. If you were going to say like over 30, I'd have been like, dude.
Yeah, I'm not going to go there. wars okay star wars definitely so you've never seen star wars yes i am very much so very much spoil it for us we've never seen it excuse me we've never seen star wars all right i gotta go this is really cool spoiler for us tell us okay what happened to spock die yeah okay totally uncalled for not cool um yes it's very good i recommend it highly okay all Star Wars books are good too.
All of them. for.
Not cool. Yes, it's very good.
I recommend it highly. All right, Star Wars is a good movie.
Books are good, too. All of them, yes.
What about the Diamond Zone? Have you thought about a Diamond Zone? That's even more valuable than gold. Did I just completely ruin your whole system? No, but I think we can think about that.
That's like the two-yard line. I think we've got to find somebody that likes diamonds.
Leonardo DiCaprio. That was a really good movie.
I mean, you'd have to work with me on that. That's like the two yard line.
I think Diamonds, we got to find somebody that likes Diamonds. Leonardo DiCaprio.
That was a really good movie. You'd have to work with me on that one.
Diamonds of Sierra Leone. Blood Diamond.
Blood Diamond. Probably not that one.
They really liked Diamonds. First thing that came to my head.
Why don't you have a fullback? That's kind of fucked up. Good question.

We do.

Do you?

Oh, I was missing form.

Bad question.

Depends what your definition of a fullback is.

You know, my definition is a fullback.

Like, do you have a fullback or do you have a fullback?

So when you stress the fullback, do you mean like in 1980 when they would go in there and

smash mouth people and it was crazy?

How many cowboy collars are in your locker room right now? Not a lot. You know, cowboy i wore one not gonna lie i wore a cowboy collar but for whatever whatever happened i thought it was really cool i felt like i looked like darth vader a little bit and uh it's totally totally gone away totally over my head don't worry about it you guys maybe when you watch something you might know he's a little robot yeah you know yeah the little guy goes around with the gold guy who's he's like wait up for me i'm awesome fun yeah yes i thought he was hilarious um but like when you say fullback you have h-backs or something like that definitely not h-backs we definitely have somebody that we utilize in the fullback position okay what does that mean you're being very cryptic about your fullback because we don't want everybody to know what's going to happen i mean what are we trying to do give the answers to the answers to the test and let everybody know what's going on? I get that.
It's always like in training camp, coaches are like super paranoid and secretive. And I get it.
I totally understand it. But do you think sometimes some coaches are like way too guarded and are like, oh, we can't have anything? You know, I used to always think that.
And then you get a couple little snippets of people that you know are actually looking into it, watching this interview, watching, doing different things just to try to find to get any edge in any nugget and at first i didn't really care yeah that's great we'll get we'll get them with that but i mean in the end it's it's like hey if you don't have to say it don't say it kind of like my wife says don't lie just don't answer the question oh that's good i wish i would have known that forever everything would have been so much better wait so I have another roster question. You have Melvin Gordon, Russell Wilson.
I'm a Badger. You have a lot of Badgers.
Are you a little worried that your ceiling for your season is maybe an Outback Bowl win? That's kind of the most we're going to get out of this. You know, I think that they're very, very good players.
Okay, I'm just warning you. Best case scenario, you lose in the Rose Bowl.
Hey, I'll tell you. There's no bowls in right we're good Super Bowl yeah Pro Bowl haven't even thought about it I never really looked at it from the Super Bowl competitive that's that's the biggest one a little bit different yeah I guess it would be for the professional level yes when you were uh when you're going through the interview process here I have to imagine that anyone that's being interviewed in this division is asked a question along the lines of how are you going to stop Patrick Mahomes? So what is your game plan to stop Patrick Mahomes? And feel free to lie about it because Andy Reid's probably listening right now.
Misdirection. Yeah, he might be.
He might be. But were you asked that? I know you're an offensive guy.
You know, football stuff didn't get into it too much. It's more about the person you are, how you're going to work with the team,

how you're going to handle the team.

I think that's kind of what most people are looking for

because the X's and O's get so intricate from defense to offense.

And I think, you know, a player like that, I mean, come on now.

You can't stop a guy like that.

I mean, he's so talented.

He's so unbelievable.

That's about containing him and doing whatever you can

to score more points than him,

which is, you know, what you're always looking to do. And, I mean, we want to try to get a lot of rushers to him we want to make him feel uncomfortable yeah that's smart answer score more points score more points i think that was a really good answer yeah that's like very good some next level sabermetrics hey i'm just saying it's the facts yeah so i we looked up you know when you've come up in conversation on this podcast and uh you broke my heart because heart because I looked up and then, well, you broke mine with a star Wars comment.
Yeah. Yeah.
Even yeah. Even.
Well, let me explain it. So you, we, I looked it up.
There was a podcast titled in February, Aaron Rogers to Denver done deal. And I want him out of green bank because you came here and he had that quote where he's like, I want to be with Nathaniel Hackett wherever he is.
So kind of sucked because you were like you know it felt like the the tea leaves were reading i'm like oh you go here i like reading tea leaves yeah so that hurt me badly well hey we're very excited with what we're going on with right now yeah you don't like aaron rogers right yeah you know he's uh no he's he's wonderful oh come on you'd be on it we We'll turn off the cameras. Fucking asshole.
I love him. Damn it.
Damn it. Damn it.
Hypothetical situation. Big Cat, maybe you can help me out with some of the finer points of this.
I might be misremembering some of the details. But we ask every head coach that gets their first head coaching job the same question, just to kind of gauge where they're at, if they're an aggressive guy, if they're a conservative guy, whatever the case may be.
So if it's hypothetically like fourth quarter. Fourth quarter.
Playoff game. Playoff game.
And you're down by eight points. Eight points.
That's right, eight points. And you have the ball on the eight-yard line.
Yeah, it's fourth and eight. And it's fourth and goal.
Fourth and goal from the eight. And what happened on first and eight, second and eight, and third and eight, and fourth and eight? Incompletions.
You move the ball downfield, though, to the eight-yard line. Who potentially could be the quarterback? One of the best quarterbacks of all time.
A guy who threw three interceptions today, hypothetically. One of the best quarterbacks of all time.
So do you kick a field goal? And then you would give the other ball away to the best quarterback of all time. Okay, so get to there.
Golly, I'm glad I haven't been in that situation. I wouldn't want to have to make that decision.
Because we talked to LaFleur last week, and he was like, that was all Hackett. So he said that you're the one who said kick the field goal.
We'll kick three field goals and we'll win this game. I'll let you know I blacked out.
I didn't even know what was happening. I'm pretty sure I fainted during that process.
I freaked out, and I had no clue what was going on.

And it was, you know, I – oh, are you talking about the –

No, no, no, it's hypothetical.

Hypothetical.

Hypothetical.

Okay, I'm just trying to get this right in the head.

Yeah, you know, I think I'd have to run it through the computers because I'm a nerd,

and I'd want to go through the statistics on everything and make sure that you made the appropriate decision.

I can distill it down real quick.

Okay.

What's more, three or eight? Three, eight. Take your time.
Your failed doctor. Eight points? Yeah, eight points.
You got it. Okay, so you're aggressive.
I like that. Smart guy.
Eight points is good. Yes.
Yes, I hear that. Yeah.
So failed doctor, do you ever – Very much. Do you ever imagine to yourself – do you ever get the hankering to practice medicine or are you still interested in science and that sort of thing? Sometimes I like going in the training room and taping ankles.
Yeah. I think that just gets you closer with the guys and gets your fix.
Sometimes I don't think that they know. If a guy has a surgery, I'll sneak in and watch.
Just do it real quick. Let me do one stitch.
Yeah, I want to make sure that they're okay, but at the same time, see what's happening, see if anything's changed within the medical world. But I don't think I necessarily want to be a doctor.
I always like to say if I could do surgery on the 50-yard line with 80,000 people watching me, I'd be totally in. Okay, I like that.
I actually like that concept. I think we should ask a doctor and see if they want to do it.
Yes, I'd watch. Just see what happens.
I mean, it might take a while. It feels like it should be really quick, but I think it takes some time, but I think you can get a lot of good on concession stands.
I don't want to speak out of turn for Big Cat on this one because it's kind of a personal matter that he has, but every year he makes a pinky bet. And at the end of the season, it's like if this team wins

the Super Bowl, I will cut off my pinky. It's whatever

team was supposed to be good. Yep.

And if they start 0-2,

I pick a team. You could actually

amputate Big Cat's pinky if you guys

win a Super Bowl. I'm so in.

I kind of was a doctor, so it would be really

clean and good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fail doctor, but I can cut a pinky off. Yes, I'll let

you do it. Yeah, we've had some

close calls. The Texans, I was like

Thank you. I kind of was a doctor, so it would be really clean and good.
Fail doctor, but I can cut a pinky off. Yes, I'll let you do it.
We've had some close calls. The Texans, it was like a few years ago, they rattled off like 10 wins in a row after I said I'd cut off my pinky.
And how did you feel? I was nervous. Like really nervous? No.
No team has ever gotten to the second round of the playoffs. So would you really cut the pinky off? Yes, tip of the pinky.
Tip of the pinky. The Colts last year.
So we're not going full finger. No, not full finger.
We're just fingernail? Just fingernail. The Colts were my team last year.
I was nervous about the Colts because they were playing really well. They were.
And they lost the Jaguars. But it's fun.
It's fun for everyone. I would do it.
That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, I've come to the grips with the fact that I will die without a tip of my pinky.
Because it will happen. And you're going to be like a psychic because to be able to get that would be really cool.
All right, I know you have to go. We appreciate the time.
I have one last question. Rowback question, promo code TAKE.
RHOBACK.com will send you some Q-Zips, polos, everything, great stuff. Have to mention the last question.
You're a hip dancer i was do you still dance depends weddings great time do you have like moves um i like to think i still do but what happens is is you know you go in it's kind of like you know the old guy that thinks he can play basketball okay you go in there and all of a sudden you pop a calf or you hurt something and you think about the things you used to do and all of a sudden you hear the music, you hear the beat, everybody starts going and then, oh yeah, I can do some of the things that I did and all of a sudden you think you popped out your hip or something like that. But no, I love helping my daughter.
My daughter's a big hip-hop dancer, so I love helping her out every now and then. But no, yes, I was back in the old days.
It's a great visual. I would imagine not many NFL coaches are like, yeah, I'm a pretty good dancer, too.
Yeah, I feel like I would probably win a dance contest with most of the coaches. And you read Bill Belichick versus Nathaniel Hackett.
It'd be like a Ted Lasso moment. If you guys win a big game, you get in the locker room, put on swag surfing.
You'll go viral. You'll go viral.
That's a really good song. When I said it, I saw your pupils dialing.
You were you were like oh my god when was the last time you really got after it oh yeah you got the moves I got a little beat there coach thank you so much we really appreciate it it's been a lot. And I'm just happy that you remember the Blake Portals moment because that made this whole interview.
And if y'all could have been there, I mean, it was just so innocent and just so positive in Blake's face. I mean, he was genuinely, it was the greatest thing that's ever happened because my son was just so happy.
It wasn't like, yep, that's huge. All right, hey, let's go play football.
Oh man. All right.
Well, thanks so much, coach. Good luck this year.
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And now, here's the airport review. Okay, airport review number three.
What's up, man? Denver International Airport. Airport built by Nazis, right? Well, it was built by the same person that, or the same company that built the underground lair oh that's interesting there's a lot of a lot of conspiracies about this place there's miles of underground bunker we're real close to norad so um really just let your imagination run wild we're gonna get to the bottom of it there's some like really interesting mosaics on the ground here that's probably that's new world order um it's a very crowded airport yeah i was gonna say like i i i don't know all the conspiracy theories i know some of them but like just judging based on airport i don't it's not my favorite sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one and i think it's just so crowded because there's a lot of people here to see jesus perform at red rocks yes Yes.
Yes, that's true. That is coming up.
Yeah, I have one time that I've been here. No, I've been here a couple times.
One time I think I've told this story, I thought I was having a heart attack because I almost missed my flight, my connecting flight to Montana. And Hank's giving us a slowdown.
Going too fast. Moving walkway.
We're doing another Everest equivalent right now. All right, let's stop walking.
Hank wants to stop walking. I had a connecting flight, and I sprinted, like, the full length of a gate.
And I thought my heart was going to shatter because it was high altitude. But I forgot about the high altitude, so I had one of those moments where I was like, dude, you've got to get your life together.
i'm an athlete and i climbed everest yeah so no big deal yeah exactly so um i i wonder how that works with the altitude up here with the plains lane it's probably cheaper to fly in and out of denver right well there's more turbulence when you come in and out yeah that's what i heard you got the rocky so so speaking of uh of jesus at red rocks all-time quote from antonio brown dropped – Yeah, breaking moves. It sounded like he was retiring from football.
I don't know if that was a retirement thing or if he was just saying, I feel sorry for not being able to watch myself play football, which respect. Oh, he thinks this is Alabama basketball? Is Nate Oates here? Oh, wow.
I got to talk to him. I got to tell him to give.
How does it feel to have Rico Bosco sucking on your dick the whole time?

Billy said Alabama basketball.

Billy saw some African-Americans and was like, oh, Alabama basketball team.

Yeah.

He saw one guy with an A on his shirt.

It's actually a chess team, Billy.

Billy, point to us which guy dunked on you.

Who hurt you, Billy?

Okay, so maybe Alabama basketball. That would be good and exclusive.
What would they be doing here, though? Training. Are you guys Alabama basketball? I don't think so.
I think that was a no. That was a no.
Billy, ask if they're Alabama basketball. He literally saw just one guy in an Alabama shirt.
And he's like, yeah. He's hot on the case right now.
All right, so Antonio Brown. Oh, Billy's trying right now to ask them.
And he's now giggling. What happened? Kansas? Oh, he's lying to you.
Wow, he got you. Okay, so Antonio Brown said today, my biggest regret in my career doesn't involve calling my GM a cracker, showing up to Raiders camp late in a hot air balloon with frozen feet, or throwing rocks at the UPS driver, and it definitely doesn't involve taking my shirt off and doing a victory lap around the Jets stadium mid-game while throwing up deuces.
That was a victory lap? I just want to say real quick, when I saw this quote, someone sent it to me, I didn't see AB tweet it. I thought it was Ball Sack Sports.
I saw it too, and then I tried to check AB's Twitter account, and Antonio Brown blocks me on Twitter, which is bullshit. My biggest regret now in life is not being able to see AB tweet.
Yeah. All right, so he continues.
Let's go over here. Let's stand over here while we just take it in, because I'm going to finish this quote.
My biggest regret is that I'll never get to see me, Antonio Brown, play a game live. Sure, I can watch the game afterwards, but I can't imagine what that was like for you all to see something like that, like watching the Beatles or Jesus perform at Red Rocks.
I mean, that says it all. I like how he lumped the Beatles in with Jesus.
Jesus. At Red Rocks What do you think that is? Do you think that's them playing, like, Hey Jude with Jesus on the tambourine, like, in a joint concert? Here, here's the thing, though.
Hologram Jesus. Like, if you said, like, Jesus at, I don't know.
Bonnaroo? No, or, like, just pick a random stadium. Jesus at Ball Arena here.
I'd be like, no, I don't care.

Jesus at Red Rocks.

That's iconic. That's iconic.

Now I actually need to see Red Rocks put on a hologram Jesus performance.

Yes.

Yes.

All right.

So we're standing now in the middle of Concourse A.

Yeah.

I don't understand what these train tracks are.

They're going up and down.

So the train tracks, there's like a bunch of train mileage underneath the state or underneath the airport right now yeah there's like hidden tunnels right some say it could go out to norad some say it goes to buckley air force base okay which is like 60 miles south of here i think okay um but the bottom line is there's something going on here and we're gonna get to the bottom of it so um we also have you know as we came in you have uh blucifer the blue the blue bronco outside yep um the guy who made it died right yeah as he was making it the the horse's head fell on him and crushed him and the name of the horse is blucifer's eyes glow red and i think it was coley that said it uh that it would be an awesome statue if it was at the Broncos stadium.

Yeah.

And it lit up when they scored a touchdown.

Yeah.

But it's at an airport.

That's kind of strange.

And also, the airport's in the middle of nowhere.

It's just fields around the airport.

It's twice the size of Manhattan.

Phew.

That's crazy.

Yeah, actually.

That's a wow fact.

Is Manhattan even that big?

No, not really.

Not really.

How many light posts do you think are in Manhattan?

14,000.

I don't know the answer.

It's 14,000.

It's one of those stupid questions they make you do.

Should we go up a level?

What do we want to do?

Yeah, let's go up.

Let's go up.

Let's get more altitude.

We also have a little issue because a future us issue, we probably should have done this airport review when we landed on Sunday. Yeah, so we're not able to go through baggage claim or anything like that.
So we're going to just stick around A. But again, I'm just going to say it.
PFT, just initial vibes. I take Indy Airport and Madison Airport.
What's up? And Madison Airport over this airport. I really like smaller airports.
like regional airports that you can like see the gate once you get through security this feels like more like a shopping mall yeah an airport and a little bit the craziest part about this airport to me it was built in 1995 and it feels old it does yeah i don't know maybe that's because maybe maybe that's a long time ago i guess now that i'm thinking about it this carpet right here feels like something that you would find in, like, a nursing home. Yeah.
So I don't know about that. There's also a lot of tents here.
What's this? Maybe a FEMA can. This is.
No, that's a light. That's a big light.
That's a light they have out on the runways. It's a big, big light.
This strikes me as something where they were trying to clean up the airport and get rid of some of the scraps, and they ran out of room in the dumpster. So they said, fuck it, let's just make it an art installation.
Hey, Bill, throw the big light up on floor six. Actually, you know what? The more I look at this big light, the more I like it.
Yeah, no, it's cool. It's a very big light.
I would actually like this big light in my living room. That is sick.
Yeah, that's a cool big light. What if this was a strobe? Oh, wow, and it spins 360.
Big light. Okay, big light, high marks for the big light.
Can we un... Should we take a piece of the big light? Can we turn it on? Can you...
I don't think... I don't want to...
You would think that... Can we open the big light? You would think that if they had a giant light, there would be like a sign explaining why they had the big light.
Whoa. Let's take a picture in front of the iconic big light.
I'm opening the big light. On the video light Iconic Okay, yeah, let's see inside What if there's like a little dude in here? Yeah It's just like, close this This is my big light I think we're still on mushrooms Yeah, there's definitely some residual Residual It's reminding me a little bit of uh there's some residual going through the hong kong airport coming down from mdma same same internal vibes right now there's some residuals uh okay so we're let's let's take this moving walkway and then come back on the other one yeah um yeah i'm just gonna say it like i i go indy madison denver for the three that we've ranked in the seven years we've been doing this in last place yeah it's firm last place that's new power rankings are out i also think that if it was the new world order secret headquarters it would be a lot cooler well i also here's the thing here here's what i my my theory on conspiracy theories are if everyone knows then it's's probably not true.
Yeah. Like if everyone can just like – if everyone's fun fact conspiracy theory is the Denver airport, it's like I don't think they let you know those.
Yeah, stay woke on it. Maybe they just built it and put in all these little nuggets for us just to get people talking about the Denver airport and have more people use it.
Let's back they well yeah they actually did a marketing campaign there you go that's what it is yeah so and the people they're like oh we could fly into wyoming or we could fly into denver and drive oh let's check out the fucked up airport well so i read this article and it said it said oh yeah not moving walkway not moving this sucks more marks against it this is my nightmare It said that they gained $1.5 million on the PR that they used I almost tripped getting on this not moving walkway Sorry, go ahead $1.5 million on the PR they used, leaning into it That's what they gained in revenue That just means a bunch of people fucking took a flight here Just to just check it out Losers Like that's a that's a loser move to just fly somewhere to look at the airport. Well, that was the original idea for airport reviews, was to fly into airports and just do the airport review.
Oh, damn it. That was an all-time cell phone.
Cell phone. So that was a second.
Can you pass my cell phone? What kind of absolute dork would do something like that? That was a cell phone. Yeah, I think we're going to go to Paris and just stay in the airport and then fly back.
That would be a very funny move, though. I still stand by that.
I also think that would be funny. I'll adjust what you said.
If you don't have a podcast and you just fly into an airport to check it out, loser. Yeah, loser.
If you have a cool podcast, then that's the most alpha plus thing you can do. Oh, let's bathroom real quick.
Yeah, let's check it out. Might as well check it out.
All right, you're going to have hello sir how was that experience oh i wonder if you smash the uh the happy happy face sign okay this how could this floor be wet i'm confused this is a car run that's new world order shit new world order theories might be something going on that doesn't add up this might be right I got all the documents I mean Trash not really clean I'm gonna I'm starting to think conspiracy theories might be right. Something going on that doesn't add up.
This might be right. I got all the documents.
I mean, trash not really clean. I'm going to take one of these urinals for a spin.
Yeah, me too. Wait, wait.
Where's Ed Sheeran? Wait. Hold on.
Okay. Ooh, nice air.
There's some air blowing in here. How you doing, sir? Sorry, we're doing a podcast.

There's no video, so you can just walk by. Don't worry if you fart when you're peeing.

We'll edit that out. Okay, let's check out the flow.

Sizable amount of water in these toilets. I like that.

Very good idea.

If you listen closely, you can hear how yellow my pee is Oh that's yellow That's almost chartreuse I just tried to fart and I almost pooped That was bad, that was stupid Okay let me shake, hang on I'm wearing white pants I can't take any chances That was almost A live microphone in my ass, shit my pants moment.

Okay, I'm clean.

You're tangled.

I'm tangled.

I'm clean.

Now I'm just using the sink just because I'm doing a podcast.

Right hand only.

It didn't work beyond my control.

Okay, I'm just going to say right now, and we don't have video here,

but this area, changing area, I've had to use this for my kids. I like it.
It's spacious. It's very spacious.
And the stupid fucking thing that you have to put down to do diapers, it's always broken, so I like that. Why is that always a koala bear? The koala bear kid's station.
I don't know. Do koalas shit themselves all the time? Probably.
Yeah, definitely. Koalas are the only animals that use diapers.
And they're also, they get high all the time, right? What's up, man? Nice neck pillow. Little Dodgers? Like it.
Gallo, you see Gallo hit a home run last night? Yeah. Hell yeah.
Dude, I could talk sports with anyone. See that? That was sick.
That was fucking, that was a master class on how to chop it up with the boys. So why are people going upstairs? It seems to me like that upstairs area should not exist.
Yeah, they're going to see the big light. Yeah, the big light.
Good point. Yeah, big light.
Big light's up there, sir. All right, so let's do maybe one circle here, and then we'll call it.
I don't know. I mean.
I get the vibe. Yeah.
I like that shirt, wife guard. That's funny.
I do have to buy a gift for my kids if we want to go peruse real quick. That's a shirt that you only wear going through the airport with your wife.
Wife guard. I wonder where his wife is.
We should kidnap her. I don't know if they're going to like us videotaping.
Maybe you stay out. All right.
So I got to buy some gifts. I really like the Colorado State flag too.
Colorado State. So my son's favorite colors are blue and purple.
So we're looking for blue and purple. Hi, how you doing? Good.
Oh, there's a cool teddy bear over there. A little small, little extras.
Let's see what this shirt. It's a good shirt.

I like these flamingos, too.

I think this would fit them.

I don't know.

I'll go maybe small.

I might get something for my mom.

Yeah, do that.

Moms love presents.

All right.

I got a shirt.

I should send my mom a baby shirt, and she'll think that I'm having a kid.

There you go.

All right.

I got one shirt.

Let's see. I need something for my daughter.
Oh, okay. That's cool.
What you got there, Billy? Looking around. Sasquatch? Planes.
Oh, yeah. Planes.
Oh, yeah. For your kid, I mean.
Planes always play. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Not for me. Oh, Pete the Cat.
Pete the Cat with his cool shoes. We got Air Force One here.
I need something. Soap.
Moms love soap. I need something for my daughter.
Should I get my mom a soap? Maybe I'll get her a shirt too. Matching Colorado shirts.
Wait, let's stay together. I like that.
I'm going to do that. That's a cool move by me, matching Colorado shirts.
There's a ukulele

over here, the state instrument of Colorado.

Compression socks.

This is a nice gift shop.

I got two shirts.

I got a

Pete the Cat.

That looks like it's going to kill him or kill me.

You wind it up, then it runs around?

That's metal and a lot of sharp edges.

I don't think you know what kids do.

Remember, it's a three- and a one-year-old,

so you got to buy stuff that the one-year-old won't swallow and kill herself.

Oh, here we go.

What do we got here?

Check this out.

Look at this.

It's got dogs on it.

It says, be positive. That's so true.
It's so true.'s so true that's a big time so that's a huge so true yeah that is cool but it's that's not a three-year-old story that thing has a seven it's got metal sharp edges and fire i was trying to kill my kids get yeah big guy why don't you get your kid a lighter? Yeah. Okay.
Oh, yeah. Here, Billy.
Here's a bottle opener. Let me get that for my kid.
Okay, I think I'm ready to go. Just one last look.
One last look. Anything else? There's some hot sauce over here.
Oh, I might get some green chili hot sauce. What's this? see dog butt magnets that's kind of funny dog butt magnets are you getting some hot sauce i'm seeing if they got any green chili stuff over here see this is my my big qualm about this airport besides this store there's not a lot of colorado vibes it doesn't give off the feel of the town okay so you can tell that I've been gone for a while because the guilt has wreaked havoc on my brain, and I now have seven gifts for both of my kids.
But that's okay. That's what you got to do when you're dead.
Oh, what's this? These planes are kind of sick. Shit.
I'm going to get some peppers, some pepper flakes. We got a four pepper blend with ghost pepper, habanero.

We got one with habanero and chipotle and one with green chili and hatch.

Delicious.

Yeah, okay, I'm going to get this pepper blend.

Mine everything.

Billy, you have stuff you want to buy?

This is still on Aaron Rodgers' tab, right, from his Barstool Fund donation?

Oh, no, I stole his credit card when we interviewed him. Oh, nice.
Yeah. It was very smart of me.
Oh, wow. That's a cool hat.
It just says Nugs. What? It says Nugs.
Where? Over there. I like that hat.
Look at this hat. Oh.
Oh, yeah. That is cool.
Nugs. I think I have to.
No. No.
No. Eh.
We've done enough drugs this week. Yeah, I know.
By the way, shout out to Denver Airport Security They did a really great job Not finding anything They searched me down Yeah, Billy got a full rub down You got the Deshaun Watson treatment, right Billy? They took my bags, it was a random search And I got a good one I got a happy ending Yeah, have a name like Billy Football, they see that, and they're like, we're pulling this guy aside. Yeah.
Okay, I think I did a good job with my gifts for my kids. Got way too much.
But that's kind of how you got to do it if you're going for a while. Are you guilty? Oh, yeah.
Massive guilt. Are you kidding me? Being away sucks.
Hello. How's it going? I'm going to get this dried pepper blend.
Okay. So that book is If I Were an Octopus.
Yeah, and then Pete the Cat is an all-time book. Pete the Cat, he basically just a quick synopsis for you.
He has new white shoes, and then he steps in a big pile of strawberries. Oh, no no.
And everyone's like, oh no, his shoes are red. What's he going to do? And Pete the Cat's so cool.
He goes, it's all good. I love it.
Yeah. Strong vibes.
He keeps walking along and singing the song. That was the whole book.
It's blueberries, then it's mud. Somebody was like, what are those? And Pete the Cat's like, it's all good.
Yeah, and he's just having a good time.

Then he steps in a puddle so his shoes are wet,

but then they become white again.

Have you seen The Octopus Teacher?

No.

Okay, thank you, 177.

You should watch that movie.

It's about a guy that secretly falls in love with an octopus.

Yeah, it's pretty bizarre.

That is very bizarre.

Not to nitpick Big Cat, but that Air Force One model that you got is completely unrealistic.

I'll have to tell myself.

Thank you so much.

We appreciate it.

Okay.

What else?

Anything else?

That's the Denver Airport, basically.

I think we covered it all.

I agree.

I don't think that there's anything going on here.

I think we should trust what the government tells us.

Yes.

And they just made a very weird airport for no particular reason. So nothing to see here.
Move along. Not a false flag.
Nope, nope, nope. Nothing wrong.
Hank, any last thoughts? Hank, any last thoughts? There's a map of the world down here. That could be a treasure, treasure, treasure.
Wait, whoa. I do like maps.
Let's see. New world order, yeah.
Their symbolism will be their downfall. Look at that.
Yeah. Oh, the earth is flat.
It's a flat. Well, it's kind of rounded.
Slightly rounded. Maybe the earth isn't flat.
Maybe it's just like it looks like a vert ramp. Yeah, everyone's been wrong because it's not flat or circular.
It's rounded slightly. It's angled.
Yeah. It's like a tent that catches a little bit of wind underneath it.
Okay. This is good.
Mesa Verde up there. That's from Better Call Saul.
Great show. Yeah.
Here comes the Alabama basketball team. Alabama basketball.
Hey, guys. What's up, guys? How we doing? Sorry about March.
Nate Oates. Hey, Nate Oates.
Oh, Nate Oates is. What? Oh, Nate Oates is.
He's throwing up. He's throwing up over in the corner.
Oh, my God. He's thinking about the NCAA tournament.
He's puking in the corner. He's thinking about only one player coming to the optional shoot-around before the biggest game of their life.
Yeah, we actually knew that it wasn't Alabama basketball because there were several of them here. Yeah, right.
They all showed up. All right, we did the whole circle.
think we did it boys i think that's it we checked

out the entire airport so we're in agreement that denver is is third last place last place in our airport reviews indy one madison two denver three great grit week um till next time till the next airport review we love you guys love you guys the airport review was brought to you by our very good friends over at sling we love sling sling is the best place to watch live sports without a cable package it's college football season which means that you need sling tv where you can watch unbeatable college football coverage starting at just 35 bucks a month get everything you love about college football like rivalries, marching bands, bowl games, conference power rankings, all of it with Sling. Plus, Sling has all the big games on the biggest channels like ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN3, SEC Network, ACC Network, Fox, and the Big Ten Network, all for the best price.
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All right, let's do Mount Rushmore. Okay, Mount Rushmore.
We're doing Mount Rushmore of candy. Hank and his team of misfits won for the first time in forever.
Great job, Hank. Yeah, Hank got really salty because we were planning on not doing a Mount Rushmore today.
Remember, we had... I literally said it on Monday, and Hank was like, you're just trying to keep us down because we finally won one.
That was the plan all week, but Hank, guess what? Is it Mount Rushmore season or not? Yeah, we didn't do one for the Takeys. That's different.
I'm just saying. Is it Mount Rushmore season or not? It is, but Takeys is a standalone show.
Okay Okay. All right.
So here we go. We're doing a Mount Rushmore.
All right. We're going to go one.
Okay. A lot of pressure.
You guys are going to go second. Okay.
Love that. Wow.
That was a mistake. That was a huge mistake.
You actually played right into our hands. Thank you.
And Billy and Jake will go third. Okay.
Great. I let memes pick the order.
It's Mount Rushmore of candy. That was a mistake.
That was a mistake. Mount Rushmore of candy.
I trust him all orderly. I think it was actually a great choice.
Okay. One-one, no-brainer.
Big Cat knows this. Favorite candy.
I literally had it for breakfast this morning. Reese's.
Okay. Yeah.
Reese's cups. Good choice.
It's a classic. I actually said to PFT he's going to pick this.
Yeah. Yeah.
I knew it. I knew it.
The only thing I was, I was questioning whether to give Billy and Jake the first pick, not knowing if they would not pick it, but I couldn't take that risk. Yeah.
I think we go two. Two is a classic.
Yeah, let's do it. All right.
So we will go with Snickers, a very, very good classic candy bar. Goated.
It also...

What?

Oh, really?

Really, Batgirl?

Really?

You wouldn't eat...

If I gave you a Snickers right now, you wouldn't eat it?

No.

Yeah, okay.

All right.

All right.

Okay.

Sounds good.

Snickers is kind of weird.

Snickers is a great candy bar.

Memes just whispered that he's never had a Snickers.

Me neither.

Snickers is old reliable.

Memes has never been on a moving walkway until two days ago, and he's never had a Snickers. Yep.
Okay. Go ahead.
Oh, we got two. Yeah.
Yeah, you got two. All right.
First, we're going to go with M&M's. Okay.
Good pick. Good pick.
Most popular candy in America. Okay.
And then we're going to go with- So you're pandering. The classic Hershey's bar.
Ooh. Just plain chocolate, huh? Okay.
That is a favorite. That is another favorite.
The plain chocolate Hershey's bar is the cornerstone of candy in this country. It's like missionary.
Is it something you actually buy? It's great. It's fun.
It's fun. It's fun.
No, it was... Listen, the plain Hershey's bar was fucking electric in 1942.
It was awesome. It was like, this is cool.
We're going out in the back, and we're going to play with a big wooden ring with a stick and eat a Hershey bar. That's a good pick.
There are stores on both of our candies because they are popular brands. Okay, cool.
I think we go with three because then then we can keep four, because, yeah. Okay.
Yeah, do you think so? What's four? Yeah, yeah. All right.
Because that's a... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right, all right. Okay, all right, so number three, we're going to go Twix.
Yes. The second time that we've taken Twix in this Mount Rushmore season, you get two of them, which is fantastic.
Delicious candy bar. I love it.
It's the only candy bar with Cookie Crisp. You don't like Twix, man? I do like Twix, but I love the picks you didn't make.
Okay, great. That's fine.
Nice long crunch with Twix. Then do better.
Long crunch. Then do better, Hank.
Go ahead. Try to do better.
We're going to go Kit Kat. Okay.
Great. I think a Twix is better than a Kit Kat.
And we'll mix it up. Go off chocolate.
Skittles. Ooh.
Okay. Interesting.
Yikes. Okay.
All right. Yeah.
No, that's fine. Skittles was tier two for us easy we are bad we'll admit it but if we said most pop if we did mountain rush for most popular sports and we said american football you guys would be like oh what what they gaslight us i've been saying this for years they yeah how do the listeners gaslight you by voting you last every time no hershey's was a crazy pick i didn't havehey's on my list.
I think that Hershey's is a great fourth round pick. Jake, you don't even like chocolate.
I know. So you just went straight chocolate? Okay, so you're at Skittles.
It's not Jake's Mount Rushmore. It's our Mount Rushmore.
Yeah, it is your Mount Rushmore. All right, we will go.
Seems like you guys just typed in most popular candies and they're just going off that list. But that's fine.
Yeah, we did. Okay, so our third pick, we're going to go with peanut butter M&M's.
Easy. Money in the bank.
I would take that over regular M&M's, actually. All day.
All day. If somebody handed you a bag of regular M&M's and wanted peanut butter, you're taking peanut butter every time.
Oh, that absolutely counts. Does that count? Yeah, you took M&M's.
We took peanut butter M&M's. They're totally different candies.

And there's, you know, Reese's Pieces are better than peanut M&M's, but that's a good pick.

Yeah.

I don't know.

So we take Reese's Pieces?

Yeah, go for it if you want a worse pick.

Peanut butter M&M's are goaded.

They are the M&M's.

The preeminent M&M's.

Yeah, even Batgirl's nodding his head.

Yeah, Hank, don't try that.

There's a lot of people with peanut allergies.

Okay, well, those people can go fuck themselves. don't care their life sucks wow i mean i'm i'm being honest i if we pulled someone with a peanut allergy they'd be like yeah i wish i could eat peanut butter if i had a peanut allergy i'd be dead yeah right lengths that people with peanut allergies and selfish allergies i feel bad but it's like they can't.
If you have a peanut allergy, we have an editor that has one.

It's like if you eat peanut butter and you breathe near him,

is that can you get away from me?

Sometimes when you go on a plane.

I might die if you breathe too close to my face.

Sometimes when you go on a plane, the attendants will be like,

sorry, we're not serving peanuts today because one person on this plane has it.

That's how allergic to peanuts they get.

I'm not victim shaming.

It sucks, but I guarantee if we had someone who had a peanut butter allergy

right now on this show, they'd be like, you're fucking damn right. I'd love to have peanut butter M&M's.
They're delicious. Okay.
We are going with Twizzlers. Okay.
I like Twizzlers. There you go, Jake.
You know what's the best part? You fucking salty bitch. You know what's the best part about Twizzlers? If you bite both ends, you can use it as a straw.
That's true. That was my movie theater move.
Get a large Coke, long Twizzlers, bite both ends, use the Twizzler as a straw for the Coke. Twizzlers are great.
Twizzlers are great. They're like the off-speed pitch.
I like to go, when I go to a movie theater, I get popcorn, peanut butter, M&Ms, and Twizzlers. Kind of mix and match.
Put this on a quote card. Billy Football says, if you bite both ends off a Twizzler, it becomes a straw, and you can use that to ingest Coke.
Mm-hmm. Fuck.
Yeah, nice. And our last pick, honestly, this was more of a pick from the heart.
Okay, this is going to be good. This is going to be really good.
This is good. He's going to be like...
No, this...

My mom's brownies.

No, this candy, I think, endures time and is one of the best.

Crunch bar.

Crunch bar is very good.

Yeah, also with a crunch bar, you can take the aluminum foil and turn it into tin foil,

and then you can use that to make a smoking device.

So all I'll say about crunch bar is I don't know who does the marketing for crunch bar

because I feel like it's just completely fallen off. Like, no one crunch where i like crunch crunch bars crunch a bunch great but like who's doing who's a bunch of crunch who's doing it they don't need to shoot their own horn they're so good no but you know that's not like there are if you go to a bodega or store it's like a 50 50 chance there's not going to be a crunch bar there that's what i'm saying like i don't know what's who's not pushing crunch didn't they used to have like a mascot an angry mascot that was like a 50-50 chance there's not going to be a Crunch Bar there.
That's what I'm saying. I don't know who's not pushing Crunch Bars.
Didn't they used to have a mascot, an angry mascot that was like a monster almost? That was the Crunch guy? Something happened with Crunch Bars. They haven't done a good job.
I want to look it up. It's kind of like the Honeycomb mascot.
I feel like Crunch had a guy like that. They don't need to advertise because they're so good.
But you would think that they would be in every store then? They are. No, again, I like Crunch Bars.
I'm saying it's just a fact that they don't get talked about. I actually personally like Crunch Bars over Hershey Bars.
Well, then you just, again, sometimes... Jake doesn't like chocolate, yet he chose two chocolate.
This is where Billy talks 10% too much and ruins one of your other picks. Well, that's because the Hershey bar is so good.
It's not as good as your fourth pick. PFT, I think we go...
I like the one that I sent you. Sour Patch.
Trash. Trash.
Billy's trying to gaslight us. You thought you had Sour Patch.
Billy, you're trying to gaslight us Sour Patch is for the psychos in First Period who like that sour stuff Yeah, First Period, we all know those Very relatable to 37 year olds They're eating Sour Patch Kids at like 7am in the morning You know what Sour Patch Kids is? If I go to a movie, I'm getting two snacks usually in a drink. I don't know what my first snack is.
Usually it's something chocolatey. My second snack, always Sour Patch Kids.
Elite movie snacks. They're very, very good.
They're the ones who drink those crazy monster, disgusting monster tasting. Yeah, so you.
I don't do that. You definitely drink weird energy drinks and shit.
No, I'm a purist. I'm fucking psycho.
You know what I do? Sometimes I get to the end of the bag and you get the sour powder. I just put my finger down there and just eat that straight up.
They're a great snack. Yeah.
Notice I said snack, not candy. Yeah.
I'll eat it as a snack. Sour Patch Kids, awesome appetizer.
That was a bad slip by me. Being like, yeah, there's like a very like healthy three o'clock snack.
Sour Patch Kids. Sour Patch Kids.
Hank even knows. Elite pick.
Yeah, he was about to take it. Oh, we're definitely going to take it.
Okay. This is a big pick because I feel like we're right there with you.
Yeah, we've done two chocolates, one non-chocolate. I'm going to go from the heart here.
This is just something I get every time as a child, as a youth. I still eat them as an adult.
Almond Joy. Starburst.
Oh, okay. Not a bad pick.
Power rank your Starburst flavors. This gets controversial.
People get mad at me, but I personally like orange. Orange.
Oh. Orange.
Red. See.
Yellow. Okay, so.
Wait, wait. Pink is last? That's crazy.
That is insane. Pink is disgusting.
Number one. Pink's one.
Pink's one. Yellow's two.
Orange's three. Red's four.
Red and yellow are the best. Pink one.
Pink one. Red two for me, orange three, yellow four.
Pink one. Pink is the goat.
Pink's the only one for me. Yeah.
Yeah, of course. No contention there.
All right, what did we miss? Milky Way was a miss. Sweets fish.
I was thinking that was- Yeah, I had that on the list. Gummy worms, gummy bears.
I also- This is a candy I feel like gets slept on for some reason, but I fucking love it. I love a Baby Ruth bar.
Yep. I love a Baby Ruth bar.
Milky Way. Butterfinger.
Butterfinger's kind of a miss. But Butterfinger, sometimes I get Butterfingers and they just taste stale.
I don't know why. I also like Three Musketeers.
A lot of people are like, that's too much nougat. I'm a nougat hound.
Yeah. Charles and Chew.
I already maxed on Take Five, but I'm not a fan i don't think that that would pop on a graphic take five is good yeah not a fan oh so you're pandering in other words no i personally like you know you love it but you don't think it would play on the graphic no if they both liked it and i thought as the coach that it could help the team i would take it but got it got it most coaches do throw all their players under the bus yeah not at all. Yeah.
That play would have scored a touchdown, but it would have been bad for a quarterback's stats. So you're Pete Carroll wanting to give Russell Wilson the opportunity to win the Super Bowl MVP.
Greatest play call of all time. Reese's Pieces is definitely a miss.
Yeah. I mean, that's a great game.
I just didn't want to do Reese's and Reese's. We were saying that we wanted to make sure we didn't do because like i love i could have reese's reese's pieces yeah hank and i are very similar that we're it's peanut butter and chocolate all day every day you know what's really good is the reese's fast break that's a great candy bar yep um yeah hank hank my probably favorite candy of all time is the reese's cups with Reese's pieces in it.
Nerds Rope? Double. Nerds Rope? I think you guys are too old for that.
No, I know what that is. Memes is about it.
It's good. Yeah.
The new gummy clusters are really good. For what? The Gummy Clusters.
They're like a very new thing. It's just little balls of Nerds Rope.
Gummy Bears. Gummy Bears, good pick.
I like sour peaches. Sour gummy worms.
Yeah, I like peaches too. Peaches too peaches are good yep the frogs i like the frogs the sharks yeah the blue and white frogs yeah good yeah anybody here like wax bottles the uh or the the coke bottles yeah i mean as a kid that was kind of fun but i was a big fan of the big gummy snakes and the big gummy uh like the big ones Oh Oh, the giant worms? Like the gummy crocodiles.
Yeah, the giant worms are good. One time I was in Spain, I got one that was as long as my arm.
It was awesome. Oh, one time I got one of those thick gummy worms.
Yeah. It like was huge.
And then we just like had to slice off pieces like a cake. That is is badass yeah yeah um i'm trying to think if there's anything else that we missed i do actually like almond joy i it's like a once and every now and then it's not it's not something i ever go like it's if there's basically an almond joy is if there's like a bowl of candy and almond joy is in there every now and then i'll grab one a lot of people think is disgusting but i i like mounds yeah i don't like mounds yeah yeah um okay i think that's it i think we we did it we crushed it good should be an interesting vote hank maybe a winning streak for your boys uh okay let's do numbers and we will end grit week we again we have a bonus a bonus Grit Week interview coming on Monday.
Get excited.

All-time football guy.

Let's do numbers.

Send everyone off.

Great Grit Week.

Great job, everyone in this room.

Numbers.

One.

48.

27.

27.

Reggie?

Reggie, what number you got?

One to 100.

Four.

Four, Reggie.

Aria?

55.

55.

22. Batgirls, 22.
Three Aria? 55. 55.
22.

Batgirl's 22.

Three.

Three for memes.

Jonah?

Nine.

Nine.

47.

Oh, one off.

Damn.

47 is a massive repeat winner.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's now in second place behind 52, eighth time.

Wow.

Wow.

Billy, what do you got there?

Billy's brain.

Nope. What were you going to say? I thought it was somebody's number.
Ah. Wow.
Wow. Billy, what do you got there? Billy's brain.
Nope.

What were you going to say?

I thought it was somebody's number.

That was.

Chris Cooley.

Andres Kalenko.

Love you guys.

Grizzly Bears retreat to higher altitude.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling.

Hustling. We'll be right back.
I'll show you what I'm running like. When they snatch black, I cry for a hundred nights.
He got a hundred bites serving a hundred likes.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm, every day I'm.

We never steal cars, but we deal hard.

Women, real hard.

Women, women, real hard.

I call the charge.

I call the charge.

Women, real hard.

Women, women, real hard.

Thank you. But we deal hard with it real hard with it with it real hard.
I call the charge. I call the charge with it real hard with it with it real hard.
Ain't about no funny stuff. Still flipping them chickens.
I'm on my money. So still whipping them VNC's.
Major League, who catch it? Because I'm P.H.M. Go shakin'.
They go just mitchin' because he 10-ish. I feed them steroids to strengthen up all my chickens.
They grind over Pacific. Still be specific.
Triple C. You know it's back.
We hold it set. So good.
I'll see you next time. Every day I'm hustling.
We'll be right back. I got distribution.
So I'm converting to work. And look, I'm like, yo, switch off.

Instead of swinging.

I should be banging.

Every day.

I'm hustling.

Every day.

I'm hustling. Every day.

I'm hustling.

Every day.

I'm hustling.

Every day.

I'm hustling.

Every day.

I'm hustling.

Every day.