Ray Romano, Baseball Is Back + Mt Rushmore Of Spoilers

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On today's Pardon My Take, Ray Romano on the show. Great interview with Ray Romano, someone we all grew up watching.
Good interview with him. Then we have Mount Rushmore of spoilers, so you will be spoiled.
We have guys chicks we have the all-star game home run derby hot seat cool throne and is brought to you ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit

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Today is Wednesday, July 20th, and baseball is back.

It was a great all-star game.

Yeah, no, no, it's back.

I already saw Sour Puss Hank.

Baseball's back.

Baseball's back.

It was a great all-star game, Hank.

Baseball's back.

It was, well, I wish the over-it hit, but baseball was fun.

Big Papi was chaotic in the dugout. The mic'd-up catcher-pitcher thing was fucking cool.
The mic'd-up players were awesome. Good job.
I like the uniforms, too. I have some old-man takes coming.
But for right now, I just want to say, and the allure of the fact that if the NL had tied it in the ninth, we would have had a home run derby. I'm saying baseball's back.
I wanted the home run derby thing. And it seems like a rule that they came up with at the last minute because they only literally announced it yesterday.
Correct. If there's a tie in the ninth inning, it's going to go to an extra home run derby with, I think, three players from each team.
Yep. And we were all rooting for that.
I was definitely rooting for that. I was disappointed when it didn't happen.
But I also think that with the All-Star game, there's like a sense of romanticism that goes along with it. It's beautiful, yeah.
You always remember the All-Star games when you were a kid. It doesn't matter how old you are.
I feel like the All-Star game is meant mostly for kids watching the game. Well, know what it is too i think it's it is a clear like the summer kind of just blurs into one like you know every day's hot you're getting drunk playing golf whatever you might be doing beach uh july 4th and the all-star game are the two tent poles where you're like oh yeah i remember that yeah it brings back uh brings back bunting you the bunting, the stuff that they put around on the fences? The semi-circle red, white, blue.
Yeah, opening day in October. Baseball fucking owns the bunting industry.
It's great. It's fantastic.
And there's one guy who's been making those, and he's just like, baseball, thank God for baseball. That's his number one client.
They will always do this. Yeah, it's like that and like waspy weddings in like nantucket yeah and like yeah the hamptons and and like uh outside of like delaware dc yeah it's very festive yeah but you get you get some days where it's like you get bunting everywhere and occasionally you have those straw hats they're like uh yeah that would have the brim all the way around the flat brim maybe a guy with a what I'm talking about.
That's Americana, baby. That is.
I think we can all appreciate that. But you go through a natural life cycle with the All-Star game where when you're a kid, it's the most magical day of the summer.
You love it. It's all your favorite players playing.
And then you get older and you're in your 20s and you're like, oh, the All-Star game sucks now. It doesn't matter how old you are or it doesn't matter which All-Star game we're talking about if it could be like 2010 it could be 2000 1990 if you're 25 watching the all-star game you think it sucks but then you get a little bit older and then you're like you know what this is kind of fun they were they were enjoying themselves at that i didn't even mind the uniforms i like the uniforms and the hats that they were wearing yes it was kind of cool like you said the mic'd up thing was awesome but one of first all-star game memories this just flashed back to me was when i was like maybe like seven or eight uh my cousin who was way older than me his friend i bet him i think i took the nl he took the al 20 bucks and then he convinced me that the all-star game was pre-taped and i paid it and then my dad like i paid it out of like my piggy bank and my dad was like are you a fucking idiot Yeah, you not pre-taped go get your money back you're a moron yeah sports on tv but it was great i was yeah that's america but i was dumb i was i was seven i was an idiot and that was you know i'm a loser so i was like yeah of course it was pre-taped and i lost yeah but i believe that every you could tell me any game is pre-taped and i lost.
I'd be like, yep, you're right. I lost.
Baseball is back.

Tonight was fun.

It was a fun night.

The home run derby was fun.

The rules kind of got in the way.

I have some issues with the home run derby.

Well, I have some old man takes, if I may, real quick.

But if you want to go first.

No, go off.

Go off.

We'll get to the home run derby.

All right.

Well, there's one of them is the home run derby, but I have some old man takes.

Old man take number one is the jerseys. I do think it's bullshit.
They should wear their own jerseys in the All-Star game. I don't like these like everyone's wearing the same color.
The cool part of it is like one side wears all road and one side wears all home. That's cool.
You get to see all of the jerseys on the field at once and all of the hats. I don't like the way that they did it this year.
I didn't mind it. I thought the jerseys.
I thought they looked good enough where it wasn't. It felt like it was an all-star game.
It felt like the jerseys were like unique and special enough where I was like, oh, this is different than a normal game. I know what you're saying.
There's something about like, oh, yeah, the shortstop in the third baseman are wearing different jerseys. That's cool.
Like, I don't know. There's just something about it.
I like it. I like when the jerseys are different and the hats are different.
It's just fun. The gloves were different.
The gloves were different. My second take is, now this one's going to get hated on, but I kind of sort of wish the All-Star game still decided home field advantage in the World Series.
That it meant? I agree. It was one of those rules that was objectively unfair.
Because one team could win 115 games and they get fucked. But it still was kind of fun.
It was created in the aftermath of Bud Seelig calling a tie. Tie, right.
In the 13th inning. And then the next year they were like, that was such a colossal dumpster fire we have to we have to overreact to it right and try to fix a problem

that maybe didn't really exist it was fun and i say that it was also it would just suck if you're

a national league fan i i recognize it also i'm saying this because the cubs suck so it's like if

the cubs were really good i'd be like no fucking way i don't want this meaningless game in the

middle of july to decide home field advantage but yeah i i kind of miss it i kind of miss it's so

We'll see you next time. really good I'd be like no fucking way I don't want this meaningless game in the middle of July to decide home field advantage but yeah I I kind of miss it I kind of miss it it's so stupid but I kind of miss it like if I'm just being honest in the trust tree I know it's going to get people are going to be like you're stupid for that take but I I just kind of miss it meaning something so my idea for the Pro Bowl which could be switched over to the All-Star game too is that the winning team, the players on that team, they get a year taken off their contract where they can get closer to free agency if they want it.
Yeah, if they want it. I like that.
Oh, Giancarlo Stanton won the big dildo award. He won the glass bat.
Yeah, what is it? I don't know, but Gian John Carroll absolutely yeeted that ball on the left field fence. I don't know if you saw that.
He fucking crushed it. It was, yeah.
Don't shake your head. Yeeted was the correct use there.
I told you, I warned you as far ago, it was like six months, that in July I was going to start saying yeet. He yeeted that ball and yeeted on that ball.
He did. Both.
So that actually brings up my third old man take. Yeet culture.
Yeah. My third old man take is I wish the home run derby went back to 10 outs.
So I kind of agree with that because they took the simplest thing in sports, which is big man stand-up plate mash dongs. And the most simple part is we get to watch dongs.
Yeah. We get to watch the dingers land and be like, whoa, look at that dinger.
The concept was big man smash ball ten times. Yeah, and we watch ball go far.
How far ball go. Yeah, right.
Ooh, that ball go far. Right.
And I get it. It was terrible sometimes watching guys take pitches.
But the way it works now, it's just chaos. There's three balls in the air at the same time.
Yeah, it's hard to keep up with. And there was a potential scoring error that happened.
Yes. MLB Home Run Derby rigged.
Big time. Albert Pujols, one of his home runs should not have counted.
His pitcher had not even started his windup when the clock hit zero.

And then Schwarber may or may not have had Dinger taken off the board

because they couldn't keep track of all the balls in the air.

And I'm pretty sure Albert Pujols got 30 seconds bonus time for no reason.

For being old.

He was not hitting it 440.

For being old.

I get it. Again, these are old man takes so they they are meant to be laughed at by the younger generation be like you guys are fucking lame i just miss like there was a moment in the home run derby where it was like they were just hitting so many home runs and you couldn't watch any of them and you didn't get the distance on any of them.
Like, I miss being able to sit there, watch a dinger,

and Chris Berman be like, and that one's going down to Temecula,

and then seeing how far it went, and then reset, another dinger.

Yeah, it's also impossible to compare performances in the Home Run Derby

that we have now to performances in the past.

Correct.

So, like, back, I remember when it was at Camden Yards in Baltimore, ken griffey jr was putting on the best display of hitting that i've ever seen he was like hitting balls off the warehouse right there were like people sitting in the windows trying to do their spreadsheets getting hit in the head by dingers and that was incredible because he would hit the ball and then he'd stand next to the batter's box and the entire crowd would just all simultaneously appreciate this one ball there are too many balls too many balls too many balls and i i agree with that yeah um and again i like i i get it because like watching there are moments where we would watch i think sammy did it one year where he just took like 10 pitches in a row and that does suck but i think i would rather that and be able to gawk at the dingers then have just a flurry of dingers and be like wait where'd this one go where'd that one go oh like there was a couple that were hit like 480 and we just didn't even get a chance to appreciate it they incorporated math into the home run derby right and i don't appreciate that yeah chris berman shout out chris chris berman would be screwed in this new format because he wouldn't be able to keep up yeah yeah he also was wearing a beautiful two-tone shirt yeah no it was it was yep it was the pattern of the shirt someone that it was designed so that right around the neck that the blue color would turn a little bit darker blue it was like the mountains the mountains turn blue yeah i also was thinking about it like if chris berman was in the sun uh on like the field and he wasn't sweating i be like, call the ambulance. Yeah.
Something's wrong. Because Chris Berman, he rolls out.
He's Shaq during the National Anthem sweating at all times. It's the mark of a healthy body to regulate itself using perspiration.
He also, someone pointed out, which was very funny, that Chris Berman did look like the big Russian nesting doll with Jeff Passan and Tim Kirkjian standing next to him. That's the thing about every single Major League Baseball insider.
They call them insiders because they can fit inside everybody. It's Jeff Passan.
It's Ken Rosenthal. Dude, remember Hank? Remember when we saw Ken Rosenthal on the plane? Buster Olney.
Ken Rosenthal jumped up on the seat to get his luggage out of the top. Yeah.
And he, like, in one, like, quick motion, I was like, what did this guy just do? I've never seen anything like it. He jumped up on the seat to get his overhead luggage.
And, like, was like, yeah, I do this every time. It was crazy.
We're not even talking about Tim Kirchner either. Like, those four right think the average height is probably like I don't know somewhere around Frankie Munoz yeah it's it's crazy it's they they are true insiders but yeah that was um it was good to see the Schwamm the home run derby was fun I'm not saying it wasn't fun I'm just saying I kind of miss being able to just stand sit there I'm I'm essentially saying it's too fast paced I'm hearing that Juan Soto may have ruined his swing, and so trade value for him would be way down, and probably no team is going to want to sign him as a free agent either.
Yeah, the old Bobby Abreu. Yeah, so he's probably off the market, not for life, Juan Soto.
Yeah. Yeah, that was a hell of a – I mean, Julio Rodriguez was awesome too.
That was electric. Well, that's why it's bullshit when they like cheated for Pujols

when it's like he made more last night than his entire salary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like it matters.

Like Albert Pujols doesn't need the money.

Yeah, no.

Julio Rodriguez is making –

You're going to put a million dollar prize pool.

He's making $700,000 this year.

That's disgusting.

And so he was going to make – if he had won that, he would have won a million dollars.

That's crazy. That's insane.
I love how Hank pronounced Albert Pujols' last name, Pujols. Yeah.
I mean, it was disgusting. The old man.
Pujols. Pujols.
How old is he? I remember when I was like, I must have been 10 years old, and my friend was like, there's this guy named Pujols. Yeah.
42. It's the best.
The funniest thing in the entire world. And then it's like, he's really good.
His listed age is 42? January 16th, 1980. He's like 45, easily.
He was so mad when he won that first round matchup. Yeah.
He thought he was done for the night. He was so gassed.
Yeah. He was so gassed.
And yeah, I mean, baseball's back. They do do, baseball's all-star festivities are the best of the four major sports.
Yeah, I agree. Like, I mean, you could say maybe basketball, but the dunk contest sucks.
Like, yeah, it is. I think it's not even close.
Also, big shout out to Dave Jouse. Yeah.
Dave Jouse was back out there again. Oh, we didn't even mention the fact that Pete Alonzo, the guy was treating it like Game 7 of the World Series.
Yeah, he was locked in. He was to round he was meditating backstage he was dead lifting in between rounds it's crazy he was he was taking it so seriously i would be so mad if i were a mets fan like dude you have a good team this year like this is this is supposed to be fun yeah he was sitting backstage with his eyes closed chanting to himself getting ready to go back out there for the home run derby.
Does he have frosted tips?

I don't know if he has frosted tips.

I think he might have frosted tips.

They call him the polar bear, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was fun to watch.

The pitcher, actually the best pitcher of the night,

was the Braves pitcher that was pitching to Acuna.

Yeah.

He's throwing junk.

Yeah, he was.

He was throwing sliders on him.

It sucks when a pitcher's bad.

I wanted to see the straight ahead center field cam on that,

get Pitching Ninja on that to show me exactly how much movement was on those pitches. It was impossible for Acuna to get a hit off him.
Yeah, and Dodger Stadium was beautiful. It also brought up that memory we had of the time we were so fucking high, we couldn't explain what our podcast was to two guys in line in the concession stand.
Yeah, listen, when you're high and you're trying to figure out an order that involves multiple flavors of ice cream and also explain what a podcast is, that's just too much information flowing through your brain. Yeah, they were just...
Rich Hill Bobble Hill night. Was it? Yeah, I found the Bobble Hill when I was moving.
I was like, why the fuck do I have a Rich Hill Bobble Hill? I think I just remember us eating edibles before and we just ate way too many and we were like and then halfway through the game we're like whoa this is this place is crazy yeah no I was I was enthralled by the majesty of Dodger Stadium I was like I get it now yeah I get it beautiful I understand yeah and then those two old guys were like why do people come up asking for pictures and we're like um we're like on the internet we i remember didn't we try we had to do the math because we interviewed tommy lasorda before the game right right so we had to figure out like how what's an appropriate amount of time like can we take these edibles while tommy is still in the room yes is that okay yes yeah and yeah i think we saw tommy later and we like, whoa, you're still alive. R.I.P.
He was still alive that night after we interviewed him. He was still alive.
Yeah. Well, yeah, he was.
Yeah. We were.
We had nothing to do with his death. We were way too high to kill him.
Yes. Way, way too high.
We would have just hugged him to death. So I guess we could.
That would have been beautiful. Anything else? jake what'd you say the the nl has now lost 10 in a row they haven't won since 2012 nine in a row because 2020 uh when they last won it the astros were still in the nl wow altuve was wearing an nl all-star jersey the curse it's crazy wait altuve was in the all-star game in 2012 i saw a picture of it so whoa damn yeah here it is so kansas city yep that's him oh yeah oh wait wow that is crazy see i don't like those jerseys the old blue ones i don't like when they do those different colors i i like what they did tonight it was like it it felt like uh it felt almost like an arena like a classy arena football uniform that they were wearing a Yeah, game of the future.
Yeah, exactly. It was nice.
Yeah. All right, so baseball is back, the midsummer classic.
By the way, did you guys see? I totally forgot, but the game in Iowa this year is the Reds and the Cubs. Oh, man.
Here's what I don't understand. But it's going to be a great game.
Right, right.

But there was no scenario that that game was going to be good.

What do you mean?

Like the Cubs weren't going to be good and the Reds weren't going to be good.

Big market.

I get that, but it actually is that they are fighting for last place right now.

I guess once they get the corn stocks out, we'll be like, oh, should have been playing williamsport on the little league field yeah red socks orioles this year i'm looking at that right now williamsport oh really oh yeah they play at the big stadium i remember i tried to bet the over because i was like yeah they're gonna play at the little field that's what i'm saying idiot of course they're not they should they should definitely do that with the reds and the cubs yeah this gris reds cubs game is gonna be so bad wow but i mean again Like what I'm saying. You fucking idiot.
Of course they're not. They should definitely do that with the Reds and the Cubs.
Yeah, this Reds-Cubs game is going to be so bad. Wow.
But again, what I'm saying is when they made that schedule, I get the big market thing, but neither of those teams were projected to be good this year. Credit, though, to Rob Manfred for figuring out that we need a mid-midsummer classic.
Yeah. Like another mid-summer classic, because usually the All-Star game's over.
It's like, okay, I don't have to care about baseball until the last week of August. I'm checking out.
Yeah, we need Aaron Judge to hit 62 home runs. Yep, that's what will keep our attention going.
It would, yeah. He's got 33 at the All-Star break, so come on.
What does Schwarber have, 29? Something like that. He's up there.
Schwarber just hits in bunches. Except for last night which that was a killer.
Well that was rigged. Yeah that was rigged.
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I see cool thrown.

Hank, why don't you start us off?

My hot seat, I have a couple.

Okay.

Few, actually.

So you have three?

Yes.

Okay, so.

Oh my God, he just admitted it.

Yeah, he admitted it.

Should I do?

I'll do a couple.

The Oakland A's are my first hot seat. So you're doing two? Yeah, I'm going to do – yeah.
Okay, so you're admitting it again. Admitting – A couple is two.
Yeah, a few – a couple could also be a few. I don't know about that.
We don't have to go through the Webster dictionary again. Oakland A's, they tried to get their all-star pitcher.
They tried to give him a commercial flight from Houston to L.A. And then when the Astros found out, they let him join the Astros players' charter.
Oh, okay. So he had to hop a ride.
What was that guy's name? I don't know. The A's guy.
He's Blackburn. Yeah, my bad.
Did you see the Nationals? No, that's fake news. That was fake.
They didn't fly out Soto in private. What? After he turned down the deal.
What? That's not how it happened at all. What happened? Dan Snyder had the company jet flying over to Israel.
They made Soto fly commercial because he turned down the 440. They didn't have the jet.
Snyder took it. By the way, we'll be bombing Snyder's yacht off the coast of Israel on the ghost of Manhattan tonight at 8 p.m.
Similar story. So, I mean, the real focus of this hot seat, I guess it's really one combined.
But everyone was upset with the A's for this, for not getting a private plane for one player to go from Houston to L.A., and then simultaneously the entire internet is very upset with Kylie Jenner because she took a private jet for 12 minutes. Respect.
Where? For the distance of a 45-minute drive. From where to where? From L.A.
to L.A. Yeah, it was up to 4.05.
Love it. Traffic was bad.
Love it. So it's one of those things, though.
It's kind of the internet in a nutshell where it's like everyone's roasting. They're like, oh, you know.
Yeah, it was up to 405. Love it.
Traffic was bad. So it's one of those things, though.

It's kind of the internet in a nutshell, where it's like everyone's

roasting, and they're like, oh, you know.

That's one of those things, too.

You can roast, but if you had that ability,

you would do the same thing. If you're like, oh, it's an hour

and 15 minutes in traffic, or

it's 12 minutes on a jet. Yeah, what are her options?

If you had the money that she has,

you would do it without a doubt.

Take a jet, not a helicopter.

No. We know how that went.

And then my other

I don't know. If you had the money that she has, you would do it without a doubt.
Take a jet, not a helicopter.

No.

We know how that went.

And then my other hot scene was the Hoover Dam.

Yeah.

There was a big explosion at the Hoover Dam.

Huge one. I feel like that's in every movie, sci-fi movie.

Like, shit always happens at the Hoover Dam, and then things go south.

Yeah.

Do we know what exploded there?

There was a big fire.

Billy?

I think it was one of their turbines.

Oh.

Oh, that doesn't sound good.

They didn't get their turbines checked.

People forget that Las Vegas should not exist.

Yeah.

It's just out in the middle of the desert.

They just built it out of nowhere.

The mob.

Shout out the mob.

Mob gets a bad rap.

They built Las Vegas for us. That's a fact.
Say what you will about the mob shout out the mob mob gets a bad rap they built las vegas for us that's a fact say what you will about the mob they built las vegas uh okay your cool thrones killed kennedy too yeah uh elon with his pop top oh yeah he took mine what do you do elon with the pop topped off elon musk had a picture that came out And he looks like a fucking beast Is he a doughy guy? What an alpha No Bag of milk I wanted to ask No I wanted to ask Billy about Bag of beast I wanted to ask Billy about his body Because there's something going on I don't know what he's injecting himself with It's just just raw sexual energy. The dude just exudes alphaness.

He has one of the weirdest body shapes I've ever seen.

Oh, yeah.

He's a tub of cream cheese.

He looks like he ate himself.

Damn.

Wow.

Yeah, and the skin tone is...

You got to fucking hop in the tanning bed, Elon.

At least get a spray tan.

Yeah, he's like clear.

His skin is like, it's not white.

It's not pink.

It's not tan.

It's like the stuff that they wrap up a spring roll with at a Thai restaurant.

That's what his skin's mad at.

Oh, I hate that stuff.

It's weird, isn't it?

Yeah, it's always, yeah.

It's still not as bad as Zuckerberg's white face.

No, Zuckerberg's got cake, though.

Zuckerberg's ass, yeah. He's beefed up.
True. Yeah.
Peaches. That's it.
Elon with the pop topped off. Okay.
Also, cool throwing Elon. Not only is he an international sex symbol right now, but he also is not going to have to buy Twitter for the low, low price of $1 billion.
So he's going to pay. Why? Because his dad's banging his stepdaughter? Yeah.
That's exactly why. Probably has something to do with it.
You got other things to deal with, bro. So he backed out of the sale.
He's alleging that the bot situation was not. They're suing him, right? Yeah.
But then since he entered into the official agreement, he's getting sued for, he's going to have to pay $1 billion unless he can prove that Twitter withheld information that he asked for specifically bottom line is a billion? yeah a billion dollars it's a billion dollar mistake that he made potentially and it sounds like the court's going to rule with Twitter on this one and they're ruling it down in Delaware and this is something that occurred to me yesterday but we need to figure out what the fuck is going on in Delaware. It's America's file cabinet.

Why does Delaware- Delaware has so much business that runs through it.

Everything.

And there's absolutely nothing inside that state with the exception of two decent beach

towns.

Yeah.

I don't understand what's going on in Delaware.

I had five people that have DMed me because I've asked the question, what's going on in

Delaware?

It's tax laws.

They've written me long, long screeds. I'm more confused now than ever.
Yeah. What the fuck? Corporation.
We need to shut the whole place down so we can figure out what the hell is going on. Very friendly to corporations.
Do all your business in Delaware. My hot seat is Leonard Fournette.
Oh. Because about this time every year, we start to get a report of one.
Usually, it's a running back. One running back that's reporting to camp slightly slightly overweight shall we say and this year that would be leonard for net the reports are that he's up to 260 pounds but then uh playoff lenny was posting videos of him doing deadlifts and stuff being like look i'm more powerful than i used to be i'm not that fat nice the bucks have a couple other options at running back they can go with but lenny getting dragged.
He was getting dragged hard in the news. I don't like it.
And then he fired off a tweet today, responded to all the haters. This is a great out-of-context tweet from Lenny.
He goes, They wouldn't have the same energy in your face, so why entertain them? See y'all September 11th. Ooh.
So. Damn.
He's joining the Live Tour. Yeah, what the fuck? That's what I got out of that one.
Jihad Lenny. Okay.
I don't like the fat shaming of our good friend Lenny. I don't like it one bit.
Yeah. I think he's just going to be powerful.
Listen, Leonard Fournette has always played the game bigger than everybody else. Going back to high school, college, he was usually bigger than some of the linebackers, most of the linebackers that he was going up against in college and then he gets to the nfl guess what they're all bigger than him now he has no choice but to put on weight yeah he'll he'll work it off anyway that's what training camp is for yep he's on the uh the blogger page still maybe we should put this one up yeah yeah we should get some clicks yeah i like that all right your cool throne uh my cool throne was Elon Musk.
Oh, okay. But Hank took it.
Yeah. All right, my hot seat is podcast duos, because Desus and Mero have split up.
Everyone was very upset online, understandably. And it made me think, like, we should...
One of us just has to die, PFT, before we split up. Nose game.
Yeah. Oh, fuck.
All right, I'll just have to die. Because, like, I was thinking about it.
It'd just be easier for the other person why don't we just fake one of us should wait what do you mean oh billy steps in right yeah billy's right here both of you would have to die i would well if yeah actually that no i guess billy would i'll just say it right now if pft died and billy tried to sit in his seat i would then kill myself so it'd be a double death um yeah blood on your hands Look, they say that podcast duos without young interns don't last as long. Oh, so you're an intern.
All right, so we'll adjust your salary. And Jake's an intern as well? Yeah.
You just demoted Jake? Yeah. Yeah.
You need a family starter. What does your Twitter bio say? No longer an intern.
Oh, nice. You know Jake has been not an intern for like three years.
Yeah. not an intern but young members young members yeah but yeah no i think one of us has to die because it's just it would just be easier on everyone it might like oh they would have kept on putting out hits they keep it together for the kids yeah it might be like when old people die and then just you know two days later heartbreak heart i can't go on anymore yeah how soon after the desus miros split up billy did you think like maybe i could take miros spot yeah i had no idea can you do a can you do a m&m impression palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy yeah i think the bodega hive is alive and well yeah um yeah that sucked though yeah desus is uh he and I think he's going to be great in the long run.
Yep. I think it's going to work out well for him.
He'll probably land on his feet. We should get him on the show.
Really, really soon. Yeah.
But it also, like, it's one of those things that this is, I feel like this is new media. Again, people are going to look into this.
I already said that one of us just has to die before we split up. But, like, so just remember that part not the next part but like bands split up like things you know like this happens like teams split up it's i feel like we're just so new to podcasting that like the podcast split ups haven't really we've had we had come down and now jesus and marrow it's yeah it's a bloodbath this fucking we're losing everyone And also with new media, I think that they were around for, what, 10 years doing the podcast together? Call Her Daddy.
Call Her Daddy split up. I'm still not getting over that.
Yeah. But yeah, they were around for 10 years before they split up.
And that's a very long time in podcasting. It's not like- Long time for anything.
Mike and the Mad Dog were together for, what, like 30 years probably? I don't think it was that long. But I feel like there's something about doing a podcast where you work together day in, day out.
You're around each other all the time. That does make it seem like 10 years is a long time to have a relationship.
So, yeah, one of us will die. Promise you that.
And then my cool throne is life accomplishments, no matter what age they come. So Andrew Brandt tweeted out today.

He's a former Packers front office worker.

He's now, I think he does like a, I don't know what he does now.

I think he's like a reporter.

He's an insider.

Insider.

So he tweeted, 62 today, entering middle age.

Joined Packers at 40, first triathlon at 47 joined media at 51 law professor at 56 started podcast slash newsletter at 58 climbed everest equivalent at 61 everest equivalent everest equivalent so i looked it up there's a mountain in utah that people just walk up over and over, and then they say, well, I did the equivalent of Everest.

Yeah, that's bullshit.

Why would you ever brag about that?

Ever.

I think it's even worse that he bragged about his newsletter.

That's a career accomplishment.

At the age of 58, I started emailing everybody every single day.

Those things went in reverse of coolness.

Yeah.

But no, climbed uh well yeah that everest equivalent that shouldn't have been on the list could you imagine being like like sitting at a dinner table and being like so what's like the coolest thing you guys did well i i did an everest equivalent what is it out to the hill yeah the altitude is like the the main the main fact that's. And the dead bodies.
And the dead bodies. The frozen ones.
And the weather and the yetis. Yeah, everything.
The Sasquatches up there. He literally just, I went and saw the picture.
It was like in the middle of summer. He just went up a fucking Stairmaster and was like, yeah, Everest equivalent.
So I'm doing the math in my head. Mount Everest is 29,000 feet high.
Yeah. That's the math you're doing in your head? Good point.
Good point, Hank. If you could shut the fuck up for a second, Hank, I'm doing the math, and I'm saying if it's 29,000 feet high, that means it's five and a half miles.
Yeah. He walked five and a half miles.
Yeah. On like a slight incline.
In probably pretty temperate weather. Oh, no.
He had his shirt off. Okay.
So he walked. Yeah.
He spent a great day outside. Yeah.
It was. It's.
Whoever came up with this idea, I guess kudos to them because they found a way to like just get money out of people for being like come to our hill in Utah and we'll just give you a medal saying that you went on an Everest equivalent.

Everest equivalent.

I mean, yeah, I'm going to throw a flag on that, Andrew.

Yeah.

Everest equivalent. I've run many marathon equivalents.

You can do the K2 equivalent by buying like 30 bricks of gas station weed.

Yeah.

I beat Joey Chestnut's hot dog record equivalent in my life. Yeah.
Yeah. Billy ran the marathon a grit week yeah he did that was equivalent yeah but that actually was he actually ran a full marathon right non-stop i took a couple breaks yeah that's true you did take a couple breaks that's okay i actually that was impressive that was impressive it was honestly that was the coolest thing that you've done i think ever that was your life has gone downhill from that moment billy's built different and i actually kind of overshadowed it with the buster posey pull like right after and the mario party reversal yeah the mario party so yeah it was the third coolest thing that happened that night still very cool we're all really cool yeah okay bill Okay.
Billy, your hot seat, cool throne.

My hot seat is tourists.

It's the summer.

A lot of people traveling.

And with it, a lot of bad tourist stories.

So number one, we had an American tourist who fell into a volcano in Italy.

Same volcano that destroyed Pompeii.

Really bad look for tourists.

He was taking a selfie and fell into the volcano.

Yeah, that is.

Is he okay?

He's decent, but that's a tough look. It sounds like it was a Vesuvius equivalent.
Wait, he didn't die? No, he didn't die. So then he didn't really fall into a volcano.
Exactly. Him and Andrew Brandt cut from the same plot.
He tripped on a mountain. Was it inactive? Was it lava? I mean, he went down.
I think he got burned on the rocks. It may have been friction, but he still fell into a volcano.
He scraped his knee.

No.

No.

No.

If you fall into a volcano, you're dead.

He fell pretty far.

You need to be evaporated instantly.

If it's not molten lava in the bowl, then it's not a volcano.

I agree.

Also, tourists keep getting murked in Yellowstone by the bison.

They try to pet him, and they're just getting thrown rodeo style. He got rescued.
This guy didn't fall into a volcano. Okay, it was a Mickey Mouse volcano.
It certainly was. Also, he was trying to recover his cell phone, which I actually, yeah, you gotta go for that cell phone.
You can't leave that. Right? I would rather fall into a volcano than have to deal with the Apple Store.'s a fact it's not even a real volcano it was it maybe there was smoke on it maybe i don't even think there was actually i i pulled up uh they probably say every big mountain out there is the volcano that took out pompeii i pulled up the uh the website for the everest equivalent thing it's crazy here's how they describe.
We rent a private mountain and build an all-inclusive participant village with bands, bonfires, food, drink, recovery lounge, and everything else. He's glad about this.
It's more impressive to survive Burning Man than it is to participate in this Everest equivalent. They're glamping Everest.
Yeah, it's cultural appropriation of Everest. It's fucking crazy everest is also kind of glamping nowadays no but that actually makes it worse for him because everest is not even cool anymore everyone climbs everest i remember when everest was like oh don't climb everest you'll fucking die now everyone fucking climbs everest there's like huge lines yeah my cool throne is the u.s dollar for the first time in a long time it was equal to the euro fuck yes yeah which is like i don't know if that's good or bad but i always hate how the euro is worth more no it's good it's good i like it's really good yeah we rule uh my hot seat adult autograph seekers yeah we had a crazy incident today at the red carpet all-star entrance party whatever it was of this guy just towering over little kids

trying to get the sharpie

it was a wild video

I don't

I would actually

I actually want to say right now I would like to have an adult autograph seeker on the show

I want to interview an adult autograph

don't we have one in the office

yeah we got a couple

Stephen and Jerry both

yes Frank

we know several

now that I'm thinking about it

Thank you. We got a couple.
We got a couple. Steven, right? Steven and Jerry.
Yeah. Both.
Yes. Frank.
Frank as well. Yeah.
We know several. Yeah, we do know.
Now that I'm thinking about it, we're just a company full of adult autograph seekers. But I'd like to interview someone who's proud of the fact that they're a scumbag.
You know what I mean? I will elbow a kid. We've had.
Who? Hample. No, that's different.
He's catching foul balls. That that's art i think he gets him signs sometimes too i'm pretty sure he he has a collectible i think he's similar in this show to do perfect like there's a lot of hate on this show but everyone else really really oh people love zach hample i don't know about that little kids little kids do i i think jake's way off on that no kids do really i think i think the world is sick of Zach Hampton's bullshit.
No, no, no. He's right.
Kids do because they watch his videos. They're like, oh, this is how I can catch a foul ball.
I see him at games. Little kids are screaming for him.
Yeah, he's like the Pied Piper. Little kids like him.
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
He's like, dude, perfect. Little kids.
Okay. Yeah.
I guess that's fair, but he gets a lot of shit. But I want the guy who little kids hate because you see that guy.
Fat Tony's tony's coming and he's gonna fucking squeeze everyone out i almost in a sick way respect the shamelessness of the adult male autograph secret because they they go with their suitcase if you've ever been to like radio row when they have all the old timers like walking around doing interviews um they they set up in their sad little fan area and they bring like four suitcases with them them. And then they're like the guy in Oliver Twist that runs the orphanage.
They get little kids to run out with their merchandise to get the autographs for them and bring them back. Meanwhile, they're like chain-smoking Newports waiting for these kids to get back.
I want that guy. I want that guy on our show.
The sleaziest of the sleaziest. And I respect the confidence that they must have in themselves to be like, yeah, this is how I make my money.
Yeah, right. Whatever, deal with it.
Yeah, I want to interview that guy on our show. The sleaziest of the sleaziest.
I want it. And I respect the confidence that they must have in themselves to be like, yeah, this will make my money.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Deal with it.

Yeah.

I want to interview that guy.

I want to pick his brain.

My cool throne, it's Toys R Us.

It's making a return inside Macy's stores for the holiday season.

Oh, hell yeah.

Toys R Us kid.

Backwards are pretty sick.

The kangaroo.

No, the giraffe.

Giraffe.

Jeffrey.

Jeffrey the giraffe.

Yeah.

So that's exciting.

Yeah, that is exciting.

They had a great jingle too.

I don't know. are pretty sick.
The kangaroo. No, the giraffe.
Giraffe. Jeffrey.
Jeffrey the giraffe.

Yeah, so that's exciting.

Yeah, that is exciting.

They had a great jingle too.

I don't want to grow up.

I'm a Toys R Us kid.

I bought a stick of dynamite and look what I did.

Yeah, they went bankrupt in 2017,

but slow comeback.

Nice.

Blockbuster's next.

Retail, baby.

I want to buy Blockbuster stock. There's still one open like washington it's in oregon yeah uh jake is right i'm watching a vlog and there's like a thousand kids i yes he is the pied piper because think about it if you're like a 10 year old kid and you can watch a how-to video of catching foul balls that's awesome that is awesome and Zach Hample's not a bad guy like he's a nice guy so i'm free zach hample i don't know he's not locked up but if he ever were i would say free him yeah yeah i'm trading for britney griner free him no yes easy imagine how many foul balls britney griner could catch she doesn't know the good spots no all she has to do is watch the fucking vlogs.
Nope. We'll take them down.
All right. Let's get to Ray Romano.
Then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore spoilers. There will be spoilers.
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Shout out eBay. Okay, here he is, Ray Romano romano okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is actor and amateur golfer maybe pro golfer ray romano fresh off of uh his appearance at the american century championship last weekend at tahoe um let's start there ray because we're going to talk about the acting, but how's your golf game, and were you happy with your performance over the weekend? I played in that tournament.
It's my 18th year, and I'm very anal. I keep charts.
I keep a record of every ... It's three rounds there, and I keep a record of every round and what position I come in.
And there's usually about 85 guys in the tournament. And, you know, the most of them are world, I don't know how much familiar you are with the tournament, but they're all, it's pretty much all athletes.
There's maybe, I don't know, 15 to 20 people from the world, the entertainment world, you know.

So my goal is to try to, you know, I suck, but my goal is to try to beat as many guys as I can. You know, you get a big thrill out of beating a, you know, a Super Bowl winner or an MVP.
And golf can do that. Golf is the great equalizer, you know? Um, and the, the best position I've come in is like 58th, maybe at 85.
So my goal this year was I want to crack 50. Um, and I also want to, I also want to still come ahead of Charles Barkley because Barkley, Barkley's getting better, you know? Um, and I didn't crack 50.
But I did I did just squeak past Barkley, you know, I came in like 71st place, but I'm a 13 handicap, you know, but I really it real it's a grind because I, I take it seriously. I really want to do well, my kids come, they walk the course with me.
And, you know you you hit a bad shot and the hard part about that tournament is it's not hard but but but the gruel of it is you you know the people are there to be have fun and watch you and they don't care about your golf and if you hit a bad shot you know know, they just want you to smile and tell a joke, and inside you're dying inside, you know, because you're grinding and you've got to put that smile on and have a funny little thing quip for them. And I get it because without the crowd, we're not there.
But, boy, it's a grind for three days but anyway the long answer is uh on a scale of one to

ten for my golf I played about a six this weekend okay so who who is the guy that you beat that you were like I beat that person or maybe you could do it for the history of you playing in the tournament where you can walk away first day I beat him I mean the first day I did I did fairly good for myself on the first day. And I was like in, I was in like maybe 59th place on day one.
And I beat a lot of the actors. I beat Miles Teller.
I beat Larry the Cable guy. You know, I, um, I just, I played with Brian Baumgartner.
I didn't beat him. But I tied with Coach Vrabel from Tennessee.
Yep, good friend of ours. Yeah, Ivan Rodriguez.
On the second day, I was matched up with him. And I was five points ahead of him when the day started.
But he actually beat me by the end of the day. I was ahead of Marcus Allen.
I mean, I have to look at the charts, but there was a handful in there after day one that I was ahead of, and then I didn't do as great day two. I dropped.
I was still ahead of Barkley. But I got to tell you, last year was my worst year ever, and I'm pretty sure Barkley beat me last year.
Oh, yeah. What's that like for Charles Barkley? Because I assume that everybody else that competes in the tournament has that same thought.
It's like, I can't lose to this guy. Does he take that personally? By the way, I like – Charles and I are friends, man.
I'm not trying to diss him. And he grinds it, you know, as fun as he is to be around and watch him and play.
It's serious. I don't know if you guys – have you guys talked to him? No, we haven't had him on yet.
He's a dream guest for sure. I mean, I appreciate the fact that he loves golf so much, and he's been very public about his struggles with his own swing and how he's been working on it.
You know what it is. You know what it is with his swing.
It's because at one time he was like a single-digit handicap, and it's a mental hitch with him, you know? Like some sports, some athletes get that. I remember Mackie, I don't know if you guys might be too young, but Mackie Sasser, he was a catcher, and he had a hitch when he threw it back.
Chuck Knobloch. Chuck Knobloch.
Yep, yep. He had a hitch when he threw it to first.
And he got this mental hitch. You've seen it, right, where he freezes and then goes.
But the weird thing is on the range, he doesn't do it. Wow.
Yeah, it's a smooth swing on the range, and he got out there. But now, somehow, because everybody tried to cure him.
Hank Haney tried to cure him. He went to hypnotist.
He went to everything. He was there one year at the tournament.
And he played with glasses that had tape over him. Like a horse with blinders.
Yeah. Yeah.
So he couldn't see the ball. So his mind wasn't on the ball, you know.
He tried so much. The hitch is gone now.
Wow. I will say that.
The hitch is gone. So now he didn't come.
You know, he came like – he beat like 10 or 12 people this year, you know, which he normally never does. Yeah.
So what's that like for you as an amateur golfer and for some of the other guys out there when, you know, you're in a tournament environment and there are fans nearby and they have fans that are lined up like next to where you're going to be hitting your shot. Like it's on the PGA tour and they're no danger whatsoever.
But I have to imagine that thought creeps into your head like these people are a little bit too close. They think I'm much better than I am at golf.
Well, they don't they don't get that that close for us but but i'll be honest with you i've this was the first probably the first tournament in a long time that i haven't hit somebody i'm not kidding i i i i mean it's not funny i put a woman in the hospital three years ago um i i there was uh it was the second hole and i was uh i don't know 140 yards out and 150 i don't know i hit a nine iron and i kind of thinned it a little so it wasn't going that high and it was going people were by the green and we yelled for we yelled it loud and then i didn't know what happened we yelled for they scattered and then we just me and my caddy were walking up to our ball, and when we got there, there was a woman on the ground, and people were around her saying, stay awake, Patty, stay awake. They were telling her to stay awake.
I mean, she was almost unconscious. She got hit right here.
Oh, my God. And the paramedics came.
They had to take her to the hospital. You know, it wasn't like she was – it was life-threatening because when she was on the ground, you know, her friends came around and I came by.
And I said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, you know. But she was flat on her back and she looked up and said can you take a picture with me

and i laid on the grass and took a picture flat on her back yeah that's fantastic i had to you

know i was i felt so bad i sent her stuff i sent her a certificate for the spa and everything and

and i saw her next year next year she came back but boy yeah they don't stand as close as they

do in the pga but i but i have whack people man that's funny um all right so another before we talk about acting and what you got going on right now another sports topic you're a diehard jets fan um sorry about that have you have you kept up at all with what your quarterback's been into the last few days? No, but I bet my kids would know, but they're sleeping right now.

But why?

What happened?

Well, there's a story out there that your quarterback, Zach Wilson,

so it goes that his ex-girlfriend from college is now dating his best friend from college.

And then people were making fun of their relationship,

and the ex-girlfriend came out and said that Zach Wilson actually slept with his mom's best friend. So it's quite the story.
It's all alleged, but it's quite the story. I got to think, though, now that you know this instant reaction, you got to think, like, this is good for the Jets because PFT said it perfectly two shows ago when you went from Sam Donald having mono, which is the lamest, you know, controversy ever to now your quarterback is potentially having sex with his mom's best friend.
So it's, it's good because it gives him some credit, some coolness. Yeah.
I think in the locker room, you have to have like a little more, like it's one of those situations where you see Zach Wilson, he looks like he's 17 years old, right? Yeah, he looks like a kid. And now you see him and you're like, I didn't know he had that in him.
Good for him. There's something about that guy that I like now.
Yeah, look, I like him. Even if he was a virgin, I would like him.
Yeah. I just want him to play well, man.
I became a Jet fan after 69, which was when they won, the last time they won. So it's been a long, long time, man.
And I passed it down to my kids, and they are even more fanatic than I am. boys.
And I mean, they do the jerseys, everything before every game they have.

I remember they were like, I don't know how much of a story you want now,

but they were like 13 years old and we were watching it was jets against Miami.

And, and, and you could tell that the jets were going to blow this game.

Like you could just feel it.

And they had a lead.

And we were watching right here in my office, right behind me.

And I knew if they lost this game, these boys were going to have a hard time with it.

And I told them, I warned them, I said, listen, I don't want any tantrums.

If this goes the wrong way, I want no tantrums.

Sure enough, last play of the game, boom, they lost.

They both hit the floor. They both went prone on the floor hands like this and i stood up and i yelled i said what did i tell you what did i tell you guys and they wouldn't move they wouldn't move i couldn't take it so i had to leave i left the office left i left this room right here i came back 45 minutes later they were in the same exact spot yeah they they fallen asleep.
They fell asleep like that with their jerseys on and down. So we live and die by that, you know.
And we're crossing our fingers because we had a good draft, but you never can tell. Yeah.
I feel like the Jets have won an offseason like five out of the last six years. And that never really does anything.
Yes. But, but, but, you know, we'll, we'll never give up.
I'm a Yankee fan too. I, I grew up in Queens, New York, so I should be a Yankee, a Jet Met fan, but for some reason, my older brothers started rooting for the Yankees.
So I, I rooted for the Yankees too. So I've had, I have experienced winning.
Yeah. That's nice.
Yeah. There's a, there's a lot of, cause we're based in New York now.
And there's a lot of, uh, I feel like the, the Jets Yankee fans get a lot of shit because it's like that. They, those don't go together.
Like you, one side of you is an all time winner and one side of you is an all time loser. Uh, it's gotta be weird, like different seasons.
Like, you know what it's like to be the cock of the walk. And then you also know what it's like to be just the saddest franchise ever.
It's like being an actor. You, you, you love yourself and hate yourself at the same time.
You know, Sandler, Adam Sandler is a Yankee jet also. And we have that in common.
Yeah. What, if you could look back at your fandom for the Jets, what is the happiest you've ever been? Is it the Sanchez years? Well, I go back even further than that.
When they were 10-0, I don't know. I mean, this is, again, you guys might be too young.
Ken O'Brien was their quarterback, and they went 10-0 to start the season. And, boy, were we were loving that but then they lost the last six games but they made the playoffs anyway um they lost the first round and then won the second yeah uh i mean yeah the two years that sanchez you know they were in the playoffs and they got to the championship game.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So that was close. That was close enough.
It's it's all sadness, though. It's OK.
I do think there's something about rooting for a bad team, though, that, you know, like I don't know if it builds character, if that's the right thing to say. But it it gives you a little like spice in your life.
You can't get too comfortable. You know, like it's good to have something that you're always mildly annoyed with oh yeah yeah yeah i used i compare it to again i'm not gonna toot my own horn here but i got nominated for the emmy uh four times in a row i didn't win i won on my fourth try but every time every year it was exactly what I needed.

I got nominated. So I got there and I got the attention of being nominated.
But I lost and I need to feel like a loser also, you know. So that's kind of like what it is, you know.
You want to win a little, but if you win it all, then what? Right. Yeah.
Right. And then when you lose, yeah, no, it's true.
Like the teams that win, this is actually just sad because now we're just like PFT's a Washington football fan. I'm a Bears fan.
Like we're just now excusing away our terrible franchises where it's like, yeah, we actually, you know what? It's better not to win. It is good.
Because like what if you win and then you lose the next year? That would suck so much. Like I'd rather just never Well, but also, like, one of my good friends here is a Patriot fan.
And I ask him, what – I mean, is it fun for you? Because you just win all the time. And then – so what's the big deal if you win another one? Yep.
Yeah. Also, having expectations sucks.
Like, I prefer to just have, like, zero to look forward to. And then any – Oh, go seven and nine or i guess seven and ten now i'm ecstatic i'm like what a season that's incredible oh yeah yeah you want to be the underdog i always like being the underdog yeah yeah and i always tell whenever anybody's coming to see me perform or whatever i just tell them lower your expectations man and then you'd rather you'd rather go you above what they were expecting.
It's like a movie. When you go to see a movie and it's hyped up and it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, it never lives up to it.
When it's overhyped, it can never live up to it. So I like to underhype everything.
But that's why when everybody's talking about the Jets and the draft they had and how old this year is going to be good. I'm like, calm down, man.
Yeah, I'm down. Yeah.
We've been there before, but but you know, listen, my hopes are up a little bit this year. Yeah, they should be especially now that I heard about the quarterback.
Yes. Yes.
Your sons definitely have heard of that. So you've done everything in your career.
Obviously, everybody loves Raymond. You know, is it weird having that like, even though it's been so long, having that be the thing that everyone remembers you first by because you have had such great roles in a lot of different things and done so many different things.
I would imagine like you were you're actually kind of genius to have your name be Ray in the, in the show so that it, you know, it blends in real life where people aren't calling you some fake name all the time. Right.
Right. I didn't want that title though.
I definitely, if we're going to talk about that, I, I fought against that title for the show. I want, my manager told me you got to have your name in it.
Cause just for the reason you said, but I, there's no way I wanted everybody loves Raymond. The title came about by my brother was a New York police officer, you know, and he was, he, he wasn't jealous of me, but he would kind of jokingly, you know, make fun of my life compared to his life.
And he would come in and see, you know, whatever, some award I got or whatever. And he would say, look at this.
I go to work and, you know, people shoot at me. People spit at me.
Raymond goes to work and everybody loves Raymond. So that's an exact quote from my brother.
And when I told the guy that it was, that was writing it with me, he said, well, we got to put that in. We'll use that as a title.
And I said, I don't want that as a title, man. I'm never going to be able to live that down.
Who wants, you know, as a comedian, you're kind of self-deprecating anyway. You don't want to put that focus on yourself.
And he said, ah, we'll use it as a working title. That's all.
When it comes time, we'll figure out what title we want. And then CBS, you know, saw it as the working title and they fell in love with it.
And then I had to try to convince, you know, Les Moonves at the time not to use that as a title.

And he said, come up with 10 different titles and I'll test them.

That's what they do.

They test them, you know, in front of an audience, which is the worst thing.

And I still have the paper.

My manager has the paper.

I came up with the lamest sounding titles.

Like one was, you uh, that Raymond guy. Um, one was, um, Raymond, U M comma Raymond.
Um, Raymond. And I had all these titles and he tested them and he says, everybody loves Raymond, tested the best.
And I was like, oh, well, that's why we shouldn't use it. Um, and listen,'t complain about it.
It's done good by me, but you know, you're right though. Like on the golf course, it's all, we love you.
Everybody loves you. Yeah.
Yeah. If your name was like Tony in it, it would be weird because then everyone would be, you know, saying your character's name and not your real name.
So you've kind of done a perfect job on that. Yeah.
Yeah. And, and yes, they, they, they, they do remember me for that role.

And it was not easy when it was over to, to find other roles, but little by little,

it was like baby steps. You know, I had to do one dramedy first, you know, and then another one,

and then I had to create my own show. And I got lucky.
The biggest move to take me away from that

Thank you. one and then I had to create my own show and um I got lucky the the biggest uh move to take me away from that uh people remembering by that was when um I got on this show called Vinyl I don't know if you guys saw Vinyl it was a show about rock and roll in the 70s and uh Scorsese I I sent a tape in to audition and Scorsese had never seen me.
This was the cool thing. He told my agent, he goes, I don't know who this guy is.
Not that he didn't watch the show, he never even heard of me, which ended up being a blessing because he didn't have that character in his head that people had seen for nine years. He cast me in that He cast, he cast me in that and the show vinyl.
And then he cast me in the Irishman. So it was, that was like the big move, you know, to, for people to see me as something different, at least.
It's interesting. Like Scorsese thinks that he discovered you.
I'll give him that. I'll give him that.
Put this guy out of obscurity. You also, I feel like Scorsese was like, wait, he's an Italian guy from New York?

Okay, I could use him.

And what happens is when you get in his little Rolodex,

he uses you then again, you know?

So, I mean, when I did the show Vinyl, I put myself on tape,

and we sent it to him.

So he saw me doing the character, and he said, yeah, that's, that's what I want. I want, that's the character I want.
But then when he cast me in the Irishman, he just cast me as this role. He said, let's give it to Ray.
And that was even more terrifying for me because he hadn't seen me do that role. And now I got to, you know, I don't know if I'm doing it right.
I got to perform with De Niro and Pacino. And that was the most frightening part of my career, the first couple of days on that movie.
Yeah. Yeah.
One thing that's always fascinated me about sitcoms, especially in the 80s and 90s, is the laugh track or the live studio audience that you're performing in front of. Because I feel like sometimes if it's a live studio audience, you have a good one, you have a bad one.
And if it's a good live studio audience, sometimes it can be too good and so good that it's bad because they laugh at too much and they throw off the pacing. It sounds like a laugh track almost, yeah.
Yeah, so what was that like when you were taping? Would you prefer to tape in front of studio audience? Or would you prefer to use the laugh track? Well, we didn't. The thing with us was when we started, nobody knew who I was.
And you're filming in front of a live audience. And, you know, it's in Burbank.
And they have to, you know, once you become popular, then people are dying to come watch the show. But in the beginning, nobody's coming to a show that they've never heard of.
And they have to round up the audience. And this is not a joke.
They got people from rehab clinics and senior citizens. And they would kind of bust them in.
And they got paid. People got paid to come to the show, you know, 50 bucks, I think, is what they used to get.
So those first bunch of episodes were not good as far as audience reaction. Right.
Because our show was based on character. You know, when the mother comes in the room and she shouldn't be there, blah, blah, blah.
But you have to know the character to know that. And in the first few episodes, nobody knows anybody.
So we were like having to just trust that the material was funny. I think they might have sweetened those first couple, like the first half a year or so.
And then once the show aired, people saw the characters and were familiar with them. The audiences started to get a little better, a little better.
And then when somebody came in a room, the tension was there already. And after a while, we didn't have a laugh track and people would accuse us of using a laugh track, but it wasn't because they just love the characters and they were laughing a lot lot sometimes they laughed yeah i mean it's hate you hate to say they laugh too much uh but but sometimes yeah i i know what you're saying it would sound like you were goosing it you know with the laugh track but we weren't yeah so so you like i said you've done everything you know i loved you in the big sick you've hosted snl you know you've you've done a ton of you you know you've done commercials movies everything what's your favorite thing that you've ever done that maybe people wouldn't think of like that thing that you look back and you're like maybe it wasn't the most popular thing but it was the thing that you look back you're like that was the most fun uh it's probably a couple of them one is uh a movie called Paddleton.
Yeah, don't worry. Yeah, no, nope, nope.
I'm not even going to pretend. I heard of vinyl.
I hadn't watched it, but I heard of vinyl. Paddleton.
Well, vinyl's on the list. Vinyl's on the list because vinyl was, I mean, Scorsese directed the pilot.
Mick Jagger produced it.

It was about the 70s rock and roll.

You know, we were record company guys, Bobby Cannavale, myself.

And we got to do scenes.

You know, it was like going back in time. You're doing scenes with actors who are playing David Bowie, Elvis Presley.
I got to have a threesome. I had a threesome.
Congrats. Hell yes.
Yeah. Where's that going to happen? I mean, it's make believe, but it's still, you know, there's not many chances.
It's funny because Bobby Cannavale, I don't know if you know who Bobby Cannavale is, you know, Cannavale? Yes, yeah. Yeah, he's kind of a stud, you know.
And we became friends. And I remember that week that I was filming that scene, and I asked him, I said, this is the one time I got pissed off at him.
I asked him, and I said, how many threesomes have you had in your life? And he went, he actually had to think about it, which killed me. Because that's one number I would know exactly.
It's like how many times I got struck by lightning. I would know the exact number.
And I remember when I was filming it. By the way, it sounds more fun than it was.
It was quick and very fast scene. But, you know, you wear the sock, you know, you wear the sock.
You're not naked, you know. And I remember Bobby Cannavale did a full frontal naked scene in Boardwalk Empire.
And when I was filming this threesome, I'm wearing the sock and in between takes kind of volley comes over to me and says, uh, cause he's in the scene. He comes in the scene later, you know? And he goes, he goes, bro, you don't gotta, you don't gotta wear that for me.
You don't gotta wear it. And I don't wear it for me.
I go, I'm not wearing it for you. He goes, cause I don't wear it when, when I't wear it for me i i go i'm not wearing it for you he goes because i don't wear it when when i do my new things and i go i've seen boardwalk empire i know why you don't wear it i'm gonna wear mine yeah that's gotta be that's gonna be a very awkward thing to do is like just sex scenes in general because it does yeah for everything i've read it doesn't you know it's not an erotic experience for anybody involved you've got no no it's nothing i mean it's weird you got the you got the you know the the teamster boom guy right there with the thing and uh but you know um for a for a guy like me though it doesn't suck you know? Yeah, yeah.
I remember my wife made me explain to her, she was telling me about the scene, you know, when I did this. I go, it's nothing.
I mean, it's over in a second. There's a woman sitting on your lap, and there's another, but it was over in a second.
And then I asked her, she home that uh that day when i was doing it and i said how was your flight she said uh it was okay this guy sat next to me he was an actor i gave he gave me his card and i said what what do you mean he gave you his card she was he he knew that you were my husband so he gave i go well wait a minute well who was he how old was? How old was he? He was in his 30s. So now I'm getting a little, you know, pissed off.
And I go, well, what did you give him his card? What did he give you his card for? Because I guess he wants it. And I go, what was his name? And she was getting frustrated.
And I go, she goes, I don't know. I go, you don't know his name? And she goes, she looks at me, she goes, what was the name of the girl that sat on your cock? By the way, I'm sorry.
Can we say that? Yes, you can say whatever you want. Yes.
Okay. That's a great story.
Jeez. But anyway, I would have to pick Vinyl and Paddleton probably were the two favorite things.
Paddleton was a movie that Mark Duplass, I don't want to say wrote, but he wrote the outline. It was an improv movie.
So he would write the outline for each scene, but no dialogue. And we would just know what the scene had to be.
And it was up to us to improv it. And it came out pretty good.
People who do see it like it. But not many people have seen it.
Okay, I've got to watch it. So what's next for you? What are you working on right now? I actually just directed a movie that I wrote.
And it was at the Tribeca Film Festival. It's called Somewhere in Queens.
I just gave you a quick summary of the movie my son yeah he played he's six foot five my son he played basketball uh in high school with the with the holiday brothers yeah you know drew yeah drew was just ahead of him he actually played with aaron um who are both in well you know you know, Drew's in the pros, and so is Aaron. Aaron's on Philadelphia, I think.
But I used to get a kick out of going watching him play, my son. And, you know, he was 6'5", so they made him a center because he was the tallest.
And when that ended, I knew he wasn't going to play in college because he didn't – they taught him how to be a center and he had no guard skills. And that's, you know, in college at six foot five, you're a guard.
Yeah. So his career was ending.
Yeah. And I got sad, man, because I used to like watching him.
And I used to, I used to get attention just sitting in the stands and all this excitement was going to end it was pretty pathetic actually because I don't get enough attention I have to I need this also but um I just thought what if this was a poor schlub a poor working class guy from Queens and his only his only uh attention he ever got in life was living vicariously through his son and and that came to an end. So that's kind of what the movie's about.
And it did well at the Tribeca Film Festival, so now we're trying to get it into theaters, and we'll see how it goes. I love it.
I love it. So I had one last question for you.
It's the Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, great golf gear.
Roback. This has been awesome.
We really appreciate you coming on. I also saw, are you playing Jim Valvano coming up as well? Because that's the perfect, like, I don't know.
I think you're the only person, like, if you close your eyes, you're like, who could play Jim Valvano? Oh, it's Ray Romano. Like, he's perfect for it.
So is that coming soon? Man, I hope so because I tried to get this going like 10 years ago. You know, I watched that documentary Survive in Advance.
I don't know if you've seen this documentary. It's unbelievable.
I lose it every time. I cry like a baby every time I watch it.
And yeah, Valvano, you know, he's from Queens. He if he wasn't a coach, he would have been some kind of entertainer, performer, comedian.
Maybe he's got that persona. He's got that that style and the way he motivates people and everybody.
So I tried to get it going 10 years ago and it just fell through. And just recently another producer came in and said he wanted to try it.
And he has the blessing of the family. I actually spoke to the daughters, to Jim Vovano's daughters.
And we have a writer now writing a script, man. I hope, I really hope it does.
I mean, how old can I be and play him, you know?

Yeah.

He passed away when he was 48 years old.

I mean, he won the tournament when he was 38.

So that would be the, yeah.

If I'm ever going to do a biopic, it would be Jim Volvano,

and it would be an honor, you know?

Yeah, you'd be perfect for it.

Well, we appreciate you coming on,

and we're going to extend the invite. You're a recurring recurring guest now so you have to come on whenever we ask but we also will in return let you come on anytime you want to vent about the jets so anytime you want to just come on and tell us how the jets are killing my kids yeah yes we we are we're sad sports fans as well and are the pretty much the entire basis of our show is that we care too much about sports when we know ultimately it means nothing.

So it is the perfect place to just motherfuck the Jets whenever you want to.

Well, I won't do that.

Well, come on and talk.

And my kids know every position, every player, every player that's going to gonna be on the team and they'll have a lot of questions too um but i'd love to i'd love to do it how about i come on when they're winning yeah yeah yeah come on when they're winning in 2030 and yeah yeah that will be you'll be dead um but do do do us a favor and you gotta when your kids do wake up because i know you're out in California, just be like, hey, heard Zach Wilson's got that dog in him. And they'll be they'll be like, oh, damn, you heard.
That's awesome. Yeah, I know that they definitely heard about it.
I don't know why they wouldn't tell me about it. Maybe it's a weird thing to tell your father about.
Yeah, probably. Hey, is this what? This isn't live.
No, this isn't live. No.
Okay, so you can fix all this, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Tighten it up, man, because I ramble on a little bit. No, this is perfect.
Yeah. Also tell your kids when they wake up that we asked for them to come on the show right now, but they were sleeping in.
Yes. So they couldn't make it on the show.
Yeah. Just mess with them a little bit.
They wake up at the crack of noon. Yeah.
Tell them they missed their opportunity to come on Pardon My Take. Yeah, the guys were asking about you.
I will tell you, they strongly told me that I have to do the show, you know? I love it. Yeah.
I love it. Perfect.
Well, thank you so much, Ray. We really appreciate it.
If you're ever back in New York, you know, come by and do it. Let's do it in person for sure.
I am in New York. Where are you guys? are you guys? We're right in town.
Yeah. We're right across from Madison square garden.
Yeah. I have an apartment in the West village, so we get there a lot.
Okay. Oh, nice.
Let's do it. Yeah.
Let's do it in person. Let's make it official.
We're going to the Jersey shore in two weeks. Oh, there you go.
I'm in love with the shore. Where are you going? We go to LBI.
We go to LBI every year, you know, Long Beach Island. I do.
I'm familiar with it. Yeah, I recently fell in love with the shore.
I didn't know

I didn't understand what it was about because I grew up

you know, down in D.C. where we would

you know, we had our eastern shore thing

but I get the hype behind

the Jersey Shore now. It's fine.
Yeah, I miss it.

I miss it. I like it better than the

West Coast. I'll tell you that.
Yeah. The West Coast

Shore. I'm not against the West Coast.

Yeah. All right.
Well, thanks so much

Ray. We appreciate it.
All right. Thanks

man.

Ray Romano is brought to you by

I'm sorry. sure i'm not against the west coast yeah all right well thanks so much ray we appreciate it all right thanks man ray romano is brought to you by our great friends over at mattress firm we live in the land of junk sleep where there's always one more deadline to meet one more episode to watch one more meme to post in the group chat you know what's junking up my sleep recently i've been watching a lot of youtube videos before i go to bed and i haven't figured out how to stop the algorithm from feeding me the next chat.
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Those are the ones, you know, like three pictures taken before disaster. It's tough.
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Okay, let's do Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore spoilers.
So there is a spoiler alert. If you...
Hey, big cat spoiler alert. Spoiler alert.
We win. Yeah.
Well, congratulations to us on the last mount rush more nice dub for us team cat calm common cat calm dub yep after uh hank tried to besmirch acdc i think he came around and realized how wrong his take was yeah shout out to me hand up for being accountable yeah that's true it's just a lesson i think that think that if we stay positive and encourage each other's choices, I think that actually makes your score go up because it can backfire like ACDC. Yeah, we just walk into a trap.
Don't tell me how to run my team, please. Oh, damn.
Okay. Billy, how are you feeling? Good.
I mean, playing that ACDC just locked it up. Dude, I listened to acdc yesterday and i was just like this fucking band rules the crazy thing is we left off probably 10 songs that could also qualify as kicking it up a notch yeah but this isn't about us we're not trying to run up the score here jake i want you to walk me through here how did how did the uh talking and discussion go with billy before today's mount rushmore uh i'll be honest some of it was my fault because i'm not good at movies and tv shows so he said things that i had no idea what he was talking about but he spoiled it for you yeah but like realistically i wasn't gonna go back and watch these things so you've seen it with hootie and the blowfish i'm just not good at yeah entertainment entertainment in general yeah Yeah.
He doesn't know who Hootie is.

Oh, I know.

Yeah.

That was like two years ago.

Yeah, that was a while ago.

Okay.

So Mount Rushmore spoilers.

Who wants to go first?

Or should we use the ping pong ball machine?

Let's do a ball.

Yeah.

Okay.

So closest to the ball decides the order.

Okay.

What's your team number?

69? Did you say 69? 69. 69? Okay.
What's your team number? 69?

Did you say 69?

69.

Okay.

What's yours?

What's yours?

What's yours?

Well, do we have to do a ping pong ball to the side?

Well, you guys won.

I feel like golf rules, you guys should have the honors.

No, no, no, no.

You, please, please.

How about this rule?

You can't pick within 20 points, 20 numbers of anybody else in the group.

I like it. I like it.

I like it.

Our number's 22.

40.

Okay.

Well, that's 18 away.

Yeah, there you go.

42.

Oh, wait.

30's got to go back in.

That's a number we can win.

That would have been ours, yeah.

Oh, we got everything over 69.

Yeah, you have 31. Yeah, I have the worst number.
I think we have the best. Is it on, Billy? Can you turn it on? Yeah.
Oh, here it is. Yeah.
That was bad. No, that's fine.
Wait, it's not moving. Oh, it took a while.
There it is. It took a while to, like...
Jake said, ball machine rigged. 53! That's...
Damn it. Hank, your team decides the order.
We will go first. Okay.
Let's go first. Billy.
Now, the only rule we're going to play with is you have to have seen the whole show? No. Oh.
Okay. I mean, spoilers is very broad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not just about movies.
Is it just movies and TV? No, movies is it just movies and tv yeah whatever you want no it could be anything but yeah go ahead uh what's your first pick uh one one i'm sure this was everyone's one one r.i.p my dog tony stark yeah we had that shady mccoy spoiled avengers probably like the biggest movie of all time wait he? Everyone was freaking out. Or no, it wasn't whatever the one before Endgame, but everyone was like super, super, like no one spoil it.
Like there was like whatever, like two weeks period where no one could say anything. And then he went to the movie and just tweeted it out.
And the worst part was he did it like on like, it was like a Tuesday afternoon. It was clear he went and saw it with like his kids.
He went to the sneak preview of it. Yeah.
And the day that it was released, I think. I want to say he went on a Thursday night, and the main release was on Friday.
And then he spoiled it during the day on Friday. Just all caps.
R.I.P. My dog, Tony Stark.
Yeah, expelled it wrong. Yeah.
He's like, fuck. Killer.
Because it's also like, dude, that spoiler came from such a rate. Like, no one thought, like, ooh.
You know know when you want to go see some big movie you're like all right i'm not gonna talk to anyone no one thought la'shawn mccoy was gonna yeah and like all the nerds like probably were like all right you know i'm gonna mute these words because he spelled it wrong like you know if you were like a real freak nerd that like really didn't want to get spoiled you could mute the words you can mute the hashtags he spelled it like with an E, like Tony Stark. Yeah.
So it went through all the algorithms, all the muted words. Yep.
It was actually a great spoiler. That's on the Mount Rushmore of spoiling events, too.
Yes. Yes.
Okay, your guy's first pick. Go for it.
Darth Vader's Luke Skywalker's father. Ooh, okay.
Yep. All right, nice.
That's a good pick. We had that as well.
All right. Our first pick, we'll go with Hank.
Tony killed Christopher. So you knew that.
We had that as well, yeah. You did know that, right? Yeah, because of you guys.
You ruined the show for me. You ruined the show for our listeners.
I think we saw someone recently that was like, oh, no, Evan was telling us. He was telling us he was like i i had to like i was watching sopranos and listening to the show i had to like stop listening to the show so you actually lost us probably listeners revenue all that stuff yeah yeah just for just for your little jokes worth it i guess money is not it's not the only thing for us yeah we do it for the love of the game i wish we had more things things to spoil.
We could get down to zero listeners. Just spoil everything for the rest of our lives.
He killed Christopher because Christopher was a junkie. Yep.
Got them in a car wreck. Tony gets out of the car.
He sees the child seat in the backseat. He's like, oh, no, you're a fuck up.
I need too many chances. I'm going to hold your nose.
He's suffocating. Because he's pretty much paralyzed.
He can't move. And he holds his nose and his face.
And then Christopher looks at him like, you're doing this to me, Tone? Yeah. You're like a father to me.
How was Adriana's reaction? Oh, she was also dead because Silvio killed her. Why? Oh, she was like an informant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was informing.
I knew all this. Yeah, the woman that she met that she thought was her friend, she worked for the FBI.
Daniela. Was it Daniela? I think so.
I think it was. Or Danielle? Yeah.
They had a great relationship. They told each other everything.
And you have to wonder, if Christopher was still alive, would he have stopped Bobby Bacala from getting killed in the train store? Yeah. Good question.
I think he probably could have. He would have been there.
Good question. All right.
That's our first pick. Second pick.
Second second pick this is an all-time one yep kevin spacey is kaiser soze yep usual usual suspects throughout the movie he's he's weaving the story trying to throw the police off the the scent of kaiser so say saying oh we only deal with his lawyer mr kobayashi and then it turns out the entire time that kevin spacey was faking it was named Virgil yes something Virgil something the walk that he does at the end chills down your spine when you watch that for the first time and then all time reveal Joe Mantegna was the cop and then he's looking around the room after Kevin Spacey leaves and he's like oh my god all the stuff on the wall yeah Kevin Spacey has been weaving this into a story yep just trying to fuck with me slow motion drops the coffee cup yep oh shit great fucking movie great movie great movie and it's been spoiled yeah uh now it's probably not that great of a movie if you know that how should we do the graphic for this you should you don't want people to be you should do it so it's like that sensitive content thing where you can put you can blur it out unless somebody chooses to click on. Oh, yeah.
What are you gonna say Billy might have to put like some pornography to make it actually get that. Yeah, we're gonna have to put some porn on the graphic.
We said a dick pics for. Yeah, let's put your dick on it.
Yeah. All right, your guys next pick.
We're gonna go with something a little more recent. Because I've never seen usual suspects Don't spoil it.
Yeah, I mean, it came out 100 years ago. Billy, don't worry about that.
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, never heard about that movie before.
You probably weren't born. I wasn't.
I mean, it's a fucking awesome movie. It's an all-time college movie poster.
Yeah, it's black and white, right? Oh, my God, Hank. You're such a idiot.
It's insane. Okay, go ahead.
We're going gonna go with the Red Wedding Oh okay what about it Yeah it's a huge spoiler The Red Wedding What do you mean Everyone gets killed Like who All the people in the first season of Game of Thrones Like who First season Huh Have you seen Game of Thrones What family Wait, have you seen Game of Thrones. Like who? First season.
Huh? Is it in the first season? Have you seen Game of Thrones? What family? Wait, have you seen Game of Thrones? Dude, the guys in Detroit. Google spoilers.
Whose family gets murdered? Who murders who? I sort of almost, but it was a huge twist. This is our first, by the way, wait, Starks.
Hold on one sec. This is our first Billy comeback episode of trying to get out of a lie.
I'm excited for this. Let's go.
Look, I've watched all of Game of Thrones. It's the Starks.
It's the Starks before Ned Stark becomes a main character. Don't remember the names of them, but they go marry.
Yeah, Ned Stark died in the fourth episode. I think he died in the Red Wedding.
No. Ned Stark dies at the end of the first season.
Yeah, he gets his head cut off. Dude, I kept track of everything back when I cared But then once like it had a shitty ending Didn't really care Do you remember the line? No it's the line The Lannisters send their regards Oh yeah yeah then they kill him Yeah That was a great night to be on Twitter Because the timeline Nobody was tweeting about what happened it was just everybody being like oh my god oh my god oh my god with the blood coming out of the doors yeah i had no idea what was happening because i didn't watch until two years ago but but man now it piecing it together makes a lot of sense that that game of thrones spoilers like as i was watching because i watched it late as well.
That one, everyone talked about the Red Wedding.

So when it was happening,

it was a wedding.

I was like, fuck.

This is it.

This is coming.

It caught me completely off guard.

Same with Jaffer.

When I was watching it

like four years after the fact,

it's still shocking

when you watch it the first time.

Everyone's like,

oh, what episode are you on?

And then if you're near that episode,

they're like, oh my God.

That is true.

And everyone just explains.

They're like, oh no,

you'll understand when you get there. It's like, well, thanks.
You're like, what? Yeah. Okay.
Good pick. Hank, go ahead.
We're going to go with keeping the fridge open. Okay.
A little unorthodox. Yeah, I get it.
A little spoiler. Got it.
Okay. It's going to spoil everything.
That is. That is.
You're going to have a lot of stuff in there. Probably pay a lot of money for all the food, condiments.

It's all spoiled.

Yeah.

Kitchen smells.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

And then we will go with Ed Snowden.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He just spoiled all of the government secrets.

Yeah, he did.

He's a big-time spoiler.

He spoiled the surveillance, the deep state.

Big-time spoiler.

Good guy or bad guy?

Embrace debate. Who's to say? I'm pro-Snowden.
I'm pro-den. You're pro-den? Okay.
Nice. John Snowden.
All right. Your guy's next pick.
The guy in The Sixth Sense was dead the whole time. Good pick.
Good pick. We had that, too.
Yep. We had that, too.
Bruce Willis dead. Yep.
Hank, do you want to say anything about that? That movie's very old. Extremely old.
There's no way you've seen that movie. Well, I saw it a long time ago.
I know other M. Night Shyamalan twists way better, but that was probably like the Hallmark twist.
Yep, it was the Hallmark twist. Yeah, it was.
It shocked everyone. All right, so PFT, the one, this one, that one.
Yeah, you go for it. You go for it.
I'll say the last one. Okay.
We're going to go with Ed Norton and Brad Pitt are the same guy throughout Fight Club. So at the end when he shoots himself in the cheek, I never really understood that.
He almost killed himself, shot himself in the cheek, but it ended up killing Tyler Durden,

who was his alter ego.

Right.

We had that one, too.

Yeah.

Is that okay in terms of how old that movie is, Hank?

Yeah, that's a good one.

That movie's a classic.

Oh, okay.

Oh, but Usual Suspect's not.

No.

Got it.

Okay.

No.

I think they're both classics.

No.

They're both for sure.

They're both definitely classics.

I think Usual Suspect was good in its time period and also kevin spacey like come on um but you think you think we should have protected kevin spacey no i just think you know you're you're you know what year was fight club probably 98 99 99 yeah but that movie holds up so they know the the the themes of that movie You know, it's like young guys everywhere watch that movie being like fuck yes that's me don't talk about Fight Club yeah like Usual Suspects I don't know that it holds up if you show you know Billy and his classmates Usual Suspects they're probably gonna be like Snooze Fest if you show them Fight Club they're gonna be like you know Fight Club gets replayed all the time pops off fighting each other Usual Suspects it's everywhere I i never heard of usual suspects till i started working at barcel and like dave would talk about it all the time it's a great movie you mean tiktok star dave portnoy is that who you're talking about i'm sure his tiktok co-host huge among the pre-teens idea what usual suspects yeah that's all's all right. All right.
Our last spoiler is this one sucks to say, but when it turns out to be true, I expect everyone to respect this process. And even if we don't win, we win.
The Green Bay Packers won the 2023 Super Bowl. Congrats.
Spoiler for the NFL season. Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl MVP.
Yep, he did it. So, when that happens, you guys will all remember that it was Team Catcom that picked that.
Are you trying to spoil them from doing that? No, it's just a fact that they're going to win the Super Bowl. They are going to win the Super Bowl.
They're finally going to win because everyone's like, oh, shit. They're not going to do it because they've lost so many weapons No no no they built up on defense And Aaron Rodgers is going to cement his legacy Mr.
Clutch Yeah they're going to win the Super Bowl and that's going to be that So that's a spoiler sorry to spoil it for you You don't even have to watch the season Billy Billy thinks we actually know the ending of the season. He's looking at us like, what the fuck?

He's like, I was really looking forward to this season.

God damn it.

Okay.

When that does happen, I expect you guys to, even if we don't win this on the poll, we retroactively win it.

Post mostly.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes. Billy.
Jake. What do you want? Harry Potter defeats Voldemort.
Oh! And Billy is very upset. Billy's just upset because you said the word Voldemort.
He's not even upset that you used the wrong word. Billy was anti that one, but I'm going to take a stand here.
Okay, I like it. The good guy defeats the bad guy in a huge movie series.
I've never seen

any of the Harry Potter stuff.

No, never read it.

The books were better.

Yeah.

I don't understand

what's so bad about that.

It's the biggest spoiler

of the whole series.

I know.

Snape was a good guy.

That's the one.

That's what I wanted to do.

Do you want that

to be your last bit?

No, no.

No, dude, that's what,

yes.

Did you read them?

I didn't read the books.

That was a much bigger,

yeah, that was a much bigger spoiler. Oh, Well, the hand is off the chess piece.
Good pick. Good pick.
Thanks. Okay.
Go ahead, Hank. Finish this off.
Our last pick, we are going to go with the 2009 Magic. They spoiled a Kobe and LeBron finals.
Oh, yeah. That's true.
That did happen. That was a big-time spoiler.
Big-time spoiler, big-time letdown. Yeah.
That was a good team, though. I like that Magic team.
But that might have been Dwight Howard. LeBron was in his flop era.
That was Dwight Howard's last year of being like, this guy could take over the entire league. Yeah, cool guy Dwight.
Would you say that the North Carolina Tar Heels 2022 were a spoiler? Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Spoiled Coach K. Yep.
Spoiled his entire legacy. They spoiled their own championship run by losing.
Well, I mean, that doesn't – no one remembers the final. I don't even remember who won.
Who was it? Villanova probably? Yeah, no one knows. All right, what did we miss? Honda Accord.
Yeah, we had. I was gonna do paul walkers and the spoiler on this super that would have been good eating uh eating a snack an hour before dinner yeah that's a big spoiler amber heard what about her spoiled the sheets oh nice yeah grandparents in general yeahil you rotten.
Yep. Ford Mustang GT.
Yep. Maggie shot Mr.
Burns. The mother was the doctor.
Yep. That old riddle.
Yep. Yep.
Michael Scott. That one still makes no sense to me.
Michael Scott outing Oscar. Yep.
Yep. The rat at the end of The Departed.
It symbolized a rat. That's true.
That is true. People forget that.
They do. Oh, the betrayal in Braveheart? Yeah.
Oh, speaking of betrayals. Wait, what betrayal in Braveheart? Remember when the kings got land for siding with the English? Yeah, the Scottish.
Is that the beginning? They sold out William Wallace. Yeah.
No, at the end. They sold him out.
Fredo. Yep.
Fredo being the, you know, he was behind the whole thing, the Hyman Roth situation. Oh, the end of Planet of the Apes.
They're on Earth the entire time. Yeah.
And he discovers the Statue of Liberty. He's like, oh, shit.
The Planet of the Apes is actually just the Earth and the future. That's a good one.
Is that the one no that's the old one yeah so it doesn't count no i was thinking i was like i love the new peter chernan planet of the apes yeah yeah great they're coming out with a new one really yeah i love that series too that they haven't gotten to that point in the new series yeah great great movies uh what are you gonna say jake brown's losing week one there's always lose They haven't won since 2004. Oh, yeah.
I forgot about that. That's true.
Baker revenge game. Yeah, they tied a few years ago in 2018.
They haven't won since 2004. Damn.
It's a spoiler. They're going to lose.
They are going to lose week one. Yeah, I mean, Jacoby Brissett's going to be their quarterback.
Yeah. So, I would say they're probably going to lose week one.
That's a good spoiler, Jake. This one's an old one, but the call is coming from inside the house.
Stephen King novel. Yeah.
What about the dead guy on the floor at the start of Saw? That's actually an alive person, and he's the killer throughout the entire movie. But he's pretending to be dead.
Yep seen saw jigsaw no i don't like scary movies i read the wikipedia synopsis so i don't have to see the scary parts nice it's better than watching it yeah um hank i apologize for this next one because it's a movie that was made in the 90s so um ancient history uh but edward norton in primal fear was acting the whole time when he pretended that he had learning disabilities.

Great movie.

Great fucking movie.

But again, 90s, so probably not.

Yeah, I'm never going to watch that.

Oh, Law Abiding Citizen.

The guy's escaping from jail and doing all the murders.

Wait, I never saw that one.

Yeah, sorry.

That's okay.

It's a great movie.

I don't care.

Yeah, I don't care. That's fine.
Titanic goes down. That was a big spoiler.
I was shocked. Yep.
I was thinking it was going to go a different way. Yeah, Rose is such a bitch.
Yeah. We all die.
That door is big enough for the two of them. Yeah, the sun will eventually engulf the earth.
Yeah, yeah. No one's going to just live forever spoiler the water is the aliens kryptonite

oh other m night channel i'm lying yeah yeah yep that's true that's a great movie that was his last good movie was it not signs yeah because after that there was what the village yeah he just fell that one was weird lady in the water was sneaky a good movie that really zero respect he just fell I like that one a lot.

Is that the Ted Kennedy story?

Okay, any others?

Any others we can think of um what oh what do you got what do you got what do you got what do you got spoiler spoiler what do you got what happens at the end of peaky blinders i'm not saying oh nope not gonna say what happened at happened at the end of last season. There's a movie coming, so it's not...
The story's not complete. No, I'm not going to say it.
I want to. You're doing this to me, and I don't want to...
No. Well, there's another one.
We've done a good job of only doing spoilers that are old stuff. I don't want...
Prehistorically. Yes.
You can do it. What about last season? No.

No.

Let people,

because people are actively

watching it right now.

But this,

but,

okay.

If you say it,

I'm going to say what happened

at the end of this season

just for you.

There were six episodes

in this season, right?

Yeah.

Okay, then I watched it.

You did?

Yeah.

Don't do it.

Not an end.

Well, not last season.

Wait, what season was that?

Season five? Oh, yeah. See, you got to bleep that out.
You can't. Yeah.
We got to take that out. We can't spoil Peaky Blinders.
Okay, okay. People are literally just watching it for the first time.
But yes. T-Man 2016 was a big spoiler.
What's that? Spoiled the... Huh? What? You can say it.
For Hillary. Oh, T-Man 2016.
You're calling Trump the t-man now okay have you been hanging out with rico too much where you're just doing code words no yeah t-man 2016 i don't think i've ever heard it that way the way that you phrased it i thought it was like a terminator movie yeah me too um okay so mount rushmore spoilers good job guys i'm sure we missed some and it's gonna suck to see them all on twitter oh yeah i actually didn't think about that we're just gonna get all the replies that are just gonna ruin everything fuck i've seen everything i'm fine yeah there's listen i'm pretty good at shows i'm up to date on most of them yeah if you're not up to date on a show you can't complain if it's spoiled like you got to be on top of your shows. Yeah, I think there's always, like, a few months, like, when a show comes out that people get.

But old movies, come on.

Either, like, that's just...

Or just don't even listen to this entire segment.

Just get mad.

We gave you fair warning.

Yeah.

And we're going to do a little blur on the picture.

Oh, Cam Smith.

He spoiled Rory.

Yeah.

We had that.

Fitzpatrick spoiled Will Zalatouris. Yeah.
The Sting, the whole thing was a movie set. The Sting with Paul Newman and Robert Redford.
Yeah. Now, that is an ancient movie.
Yeah. But a great movie.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Oh, wait.
That movie holds up. Whoa, whoa.
You watched that movie? Love that movie. What about Rosebud?

Rosebud was the name of his sled.

Have you ever seen Cool Hand Luke?

No.

Unbelievable movie.

That's the egg challenge.

He ate like 80 eggs.

I don't know what we were talking about.

Yeah, yeah, you were.

Yeah, yeah.

I've seen that movie.

That movie is a classic.

Watch that movie.

Oh, Shawshank, he gets out.

Yeah, that's true.

He does get out.

He keeps the hammer in the Bible and gets out.

Forrest Gump has AIDS.

No, Jenny has AIDS.

But Forrest Gump does too.

I don't know if he has aids no he does the whole movie he's dead magic johnson what's he ever done yeah clean big magic johnson what has he ever done he got aids all right let's do uh let's finish up with guys on chicks before we one last sponsor. Yeah.
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Go to shopify.com slash take right now. Okay, let's wrap up with guys on chicks.
Hank, you got some questions? I do. Hey, guys.
I'm going to a wedding this summer solo, and my ex will be there with his new girlfriend. Uh- I handle my anxiety? I'll be driving so can't get drunk.
Also, do I say hi or make him come say hi to me? All that stuff. Thanks.
I think you've got to start pre-gaming hard. Really take advantage of the time in between the wedding.
No, not while driving, Billy. After the wedding, before the reception, you've got to take advantage of of the cocktail hour go up there first thing you do $20 in the tip jar to the bartender and get two drinks for yourself and then don't say hi to him wait until pony comes on and then really shake your ass and let him know what he's missing and then here's the big piece you follow the new girlfriend into the bathroom and when you're standing there and you're washing hands, you just like ever so slightly just whisper, you know, he liked it when I fucked him in the ass and then walk away.

And just let that just fuck because that's just that's a conversation that has to happen.

You got to make it awkward for them.

Yep.

Something like that where it's just like, oh, yeah, you know that he you know he liked to be he liked to uh have me choke him out just till he couldn't breathe just maybe wear his favorite color dress too yeah and then let her know like that's that was his favorite yeah and just yeah look as look as hot as you can and just really because because the girlfriend the new the current girlfriend's gonna know that you're there he he she's gonna know the whole story so yeah make it as miserable for them as possible maybe just maybe have like a just run through all the groomsmen maybe just see how many you can get through over the course of a nice weekend just nice and quick hey dad cat not a drug guy PFT third floor Hank darling Jake and the rest of the crew recently i've started seeing this guy who's a few years older than me he's 23 i'm 21 we've gone on multiple dates dinner shopping the most inconsequential two years that is you it says a couple yeah a few years it says a couple it says a couple no i'm it doesn't i'm not that i'm actually not trolling. I'm happy you guys brought that up.
I'll send it. It does say a couple.
It says a couple. No, it doesn't.
I'm actually not trolling. I'm happy you guys brought that up.
Okay. I'll send it.
It does say a few. I'm dating a guy who's a few years older than me.
I wouldn't even notice that. She's making you funny.
Also, I played golf with that kid the other day. The kid that DM'd me.
Remember I read the DM? He made the point that Big Cat said he has a few. Oh, that fucking loser? Randomly, I just booked a tee time and he was like, I'm the kid that tweeted you the other day.
Was he a loser? No, he was a great dude. Had the PMT golf head covers.
I like him. Great guy.
So it was you and him playing together? You suspended him, and he was like, how long am I suspended for? And I was like, I don't know. He's unsuspended.
Great dude. Few years older than me.
We've gone on multiple dates, dinner, shopping, ice cream. Yeah, but what are the chances of that? And hung out like 15 times.
He's re-suspended. He's a nice guy, and I really like him, but we've only made out.
I'm a 21 student at UW-Madison, so I usually get it in, but this guy just won't make a move. So here's my question.
Is he gay or a virgin? What can I do so that he makes a move? Or should I make the first move? Help. P.S.
Big Cat, please speak at graduation this spring so I can't deal with another scholar talking about their own accomplishments. Yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to get to speak at commencement.
That would be funny, though. I don't think they would ever allow me.
I mean, you spoke after a Big Ten. Yeah, that's true.
Co-Big Ten. Co-Big Ten, yeah, championship.
I don't, yeah, I don't think,

I think there would be probably like,

you guys fucking rule.

Yeah, that was,

I'd probably do the same thing.

I don't even know what I'd say.

I'd be like, none of this matters.

Just give him a t-shirt can.

Send him on stage.

It's like, you all wasted all your money.

None of this matters.

If you could take my advice,

figure out a way to start a podcast

and be successful that way.

It's all downhill from here.

So my best advice to you would be develop a crippling gambling addiction yeah responsibly lose your way to the top um all right so i she's gotta just be like fuck me yeah maybe send some snapchats or something no i think she's literally i say fuck me if that doesn't happen then then it's then i think you're other and you can get drunk and say i'm going out drinking and later on and be like, we need to fuck me. If that doesn't happen then, then I think you're under.

And you can get drunk and say, I'm going out drinking,

and then later on, be like, we need to fuck.

Yeah, right.

And then if it goes south back, sorry, I was so drunk.

Right.

He might just be shy, too.

Maybe next time you're out drinking with him,

if it's just you and him, while you're at the bar together,

just send him a text saying, fuck me, while you're standing right next to him.

And maybe he'll just open up from that.

Maybe he just.

A-Rod.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

What are you going to say, Billy?

He might be like a no premarital guy.

There's nothing wrong with that.

I don't think those guys exist.

No, they don't exist.

Here's what you got to do.

Just ask him, like, you got that dog in you?

Yeah.

I need a guy that's got that dog.

Yeah, be like, let me see that little chihuahua. Does that chihuahua bark? Maybe don't call it a chihuahua.
Let me see that Great Dane. That's a bar in Madison.
There you go. That's perfect.
Be like, let me see that Great Dane. And if he's like, excuse me, be like, I meant should we go to the Great Dane? I need that dog in me.
Yeah, right. I need to go get a beer at the Great Dane.
All right, that's good. We helped you out.
In terms of the hot slash crazy scale, is it easier to become more hot or less crazy? I feel like my ratio is off, and I need to make some adjustments. So she's definitely crazy if she's asking us, right? Would that be a fair assumption or no? Yeah, yeah, I think so.
You wouldn't ask that if you you're really hot she's too crazy for how attractive she is is what i'm guessing yes she wants to be hotter because she's got the crazy down pat i think it's it's very easy to become hotter if you're a girl there's so many tricks that girls can use like when sometimes i'll see a girl and she'll have just these monster eyelashes on. I'll be like, wow, your eyelashes are great.

And they're like, well, they're obviously fake.

Yeah, I can never tell them.

I have no idea.

Yeah.

I also think that if you see the problem is this.

This is science that we're talking about, right?

The hot, crazy thing.

So she's crazy.

She wants to get hotter.

I think you just got to be crazier and your hotness will go up.

Do you know what I mean? Like the crazier you get, hotter you get it impacts the score right right so just like a rising tide lifts all boats I think that's just how it works maybe just start taking drugs and they'll either make you way more crazy or way less crazy they might bring you down and I think in either of those events your hot. Right.
She's got, she's trying to get to the regression line in the middle, right? XY axis of crazy and hot. So I think you just got to get hotter.
Who is that one guy who like went viral for that video that he made? Like, well, it was like probably 15 years ago when he made this, like the crazy hot. I don't, I don't know who invented this.
Yeah. I, I don't know who invented it, but I know like there was that one guy who did it on a YouTube and it was like holy shit this is genius was it Tatro? I don't think so no definitely not Jimmy Tatro no if it was then we should cancel his ass that would be funny if we got him.
I think it might have been like a shit frat bro guy say.

Oh, okay.

It was Tatro.

It was Tatro. It was definitely Tatro.

I don't want to see him ever at a courtside Clippers game again.

Cancel his ass.

All right.

Last two.

They're kind of similar, but I'm sure they'll have similar answers.

Similar issues from these women.

Hey, Dad Cat, Heart of the City, Hank, PFT, The Pimp, and Jilly. My boyfriend has been screaming out, absolutely, like your D&D guy, and it's driving me insane.
How do I get him to stop, or do I wait it out? You just gotta start asking him questions that he doesn't want to say absolutely to. Yeah.
You just gotta start fuck with him. But Tim says absolutely no matter what you ask..
Hate to go back to the pegging thing, but be like, hey, we're pegging tonight. See if he says absolutely.
It's addictive. I think you got to ride it out.
Like, Tim Woods puts asses in the seat. Sounds like he'd be a great improv partner, too.
Yeah. It's the old yes and.
Yes. Absolutely.
Similar question. Last one.
Sup, fellas. My boyfriend keeps saying, yes, chef, during and thank you, chef, after sex.

It's starting to creep me out.

How do I get him to stop?

I like this one, too.

Yes, chef is good.

I don't think that you.

That's a winning line.

Yeah.

It's just good manners in the top chef kitchen.

Yeah.

He's a chef testing. Saying, yes, chef.
Thank you, chef. Make him listen to the Dungeons & Dragons.
Yeah. Let's flip him.
Let's flip him. He'll just start doing absolutely.
What else do they say in the kitchen? I'm right behind you? Yeah. Yeah, just start saying I'm right behind you all the time.
Are you using this burner? On your back. Yeah.
Yeah. I need, yeah.
10 minutes. need yeah 10 minutes oh no hands up oh that'll be good for sex yeah hands chef's hands hands um do you ever watch the top chef uh the kids version i don't think they make it anymore it is the greatest show of all time because the kids just they're children and they just cry yeah.
And it's so funny. That's what I was pissed off about with Gordon Ramsay when he did his kids challenge.
He like, he, he toned himself down. Right.
Like I want, I want Gordon Ramsay to be like, you little twat. Yeah.
Like just screaming at him. Top chef kids.
I, again, I think they stopped making it, but it was the so, so fucking funny. Cause these kids would just be like bawling while they're making a hamburger and it was just so funny to watch isn't that the video where the kids crying well like yeah he's like literally flipping a hamburger crying it's just so yeah more that they need to bring that back bring bring back top chef kids um okay that is our show uh on friday we have george niang in studio interview.
We also have some great interviews coming up next week. And reminder.
Longest interview, I think, of the history of this podcast. No, Bill Walton was way longer.
Yeah, he was way longer. He was like two and a half hours.
Way longer. Top ten.
But Andrew Schultz, yeah, on Monday was like an hour and a half. Great interview.
And then remember, reminder, on Wednesday next week, the takeies, the 2022 takeies will be unveiled. Hopefully, hopefully people are subscribing and resubscribing and unsubscribing and resubscribing, maybe listening on Spotify and iTunes.
I would like to see us get bumped up before the takeies. Double dip.
Double dip. Go for it.
Double dip. Double dip.
So, yeah. We'll see then.

Alright. Numbers.

93. 39.

27. Hank, have you

got... What'd you pick, Hank?

53 is out.

69.

I'm not one now.

Why are you saying 39? We did that last week.

91.

Oh, so close.

Love you guys.

Squids have the largest eyeball in the animal kingdom.

Bigger than elephants?

Oh yeah, I guess that would make sense, right?

There's just one eye.

The giant squid?

They got big eyes.

Well, blue whales have tiny eyes.

Do they?

How tiny?

Uh-oh.

Look it up.

I'm looking it up right now.

Blue whale eye size.

Pete, internet's down.

Disgusting.

Colossal squid.

He's right. Damn it, he's right.
We'll be coming for your lover, Kate Shying away I'll be coming for your lover, Kate They don't Bye. I'll be gone Without your watching Needless to say I'm on the sentence But I'm eased over a little way So I learn that life is okay.

Say after me.

It's for better to be safe than sorry.

Say after me.

It's for better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me.

Take me home I'll be gone When I do a dream Hard things that you say

Is it a lot of

Just to play my memories away

You're all the things I've got to remember

When you're shying away

Are they coming for you anyway?

When you're shying away Are they coming for you anyway Shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me out Take me out. Take me out.

I'll be gone with me.